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You're too frightened to take to the next level.
Fine. I understand. But also: fuck off.
And watch me fly.
You own Waldo, you can't be Waldo.
(Waldo voice) Eh Jamie, Jamie. What's happening?
Pretty close I'd say.
What's happening? Ahh, Waldorific yeahh, yeahhh.
Why's it going of left a bit?
Because the...
I know I've got my...
Put your thumb in the white thing -
I got that in there. Okay.
That's not how that works.
First tonight, a figure, or more accurately
a character who's been causing an upset in the
Stentonford by-election. Unlike the other candidates
he has no party affiliation. He doesn't even have a surname.
He is Waldo, a few weeks ago just a cult character in a
comedy show, today, an official mascot for protest voters .
Vote Waldo.
Cartoons don't play by the rules and Waldo's open disdain
for his opponents has clearly struck a chord.
Waldo, as a mascot for the disenfranchised aren't you
ultimately neutralizing seriously effective dissent?
Can I have subtitles for Mr Crane, please?
By encouraging people not to care, you're actively dangerous.
Dangerous, you think the public can't be trusted?
No.
Isn't that basically you calling them twats?
No, I...
Bellends, then?
Did you actually come here for a discussion or...
You're snooty for a glorified Punch and Judy man, Phil.
You know you're gonna get your best ratings in months
'cause I'm here.
To even get close to the figures,
I'm gonna pull in for you tonight,
you'd have to fuck a prawn sandwich live on air.
Make a nice prawn cocktail.
Yeah could we make a serious political point that is.
I've got one big blue point to make, fool.
Would you like to have a look at it?
Great work tonight. Look at, Look at this, look at this.
It's The Waldo polling app. Now this can pinpoint you
with GPS so that when you're at a polling station
it unlocks loads of free shit, look.
(Waldo) Thanks for voting, dickhead!
Thanks for voting, dickhead!
(laughs) It's good isn't it?
Who's this guy we're meeting?
I dunno. But he's from Washington
and he's got my restricted number.
Jeff Carter, from the agency.
(Jack) Hey.
Hey. And I'll leap right in.
I think what you're doing with Waldo is fascinating.
From "the agency"?
Yeah, listen, Waldo may be the perfect political figurehead.
Waldo the bear.
The bear people like. The fact he's a bear's an assist.
- "An assist"? - It helps.
(Jeff) Right. You look at human politicians;
you're instinctively like brrrr - uncanny, right?
Like the girls in porn you just know something's wrong,
'cause why else are they doing it?
It's usually Daddy issues, ey.
Just like politics. Waldo bypasses that.
You already know he's not real. So no personal flaws.
I'm a person.
With respect, Waldo's more than you.
He's a team, and you're open about that, which is fantastic.
The honesty thing works.
Waldo is a construct people not just accept but embrace.
At the moment he's anti-politics,
which is a political stance in itself, right?
But he could deliver any brand of political
content, minus the potential downsides of a human messenger.
In a debate, your team could google every word the other guy
says, then let Waldo hit him with debunk stats and spit a
Twitter-ready zinger into the next sentence.
He's the perfect assassin.
We won't win though.
You guys are so British.
No, of course he won't win, you started out too coarse off the
bat, there's no substantial basis to what you offer, and the
whole nihilist "democracy sucks" thing yeah is kind of wack-a-doo
but with a targeted, hopeful message which we of course can
provide. Energising the disenfranchised without spooking
the middle via your new platform: you got a global
political-entertainment product people actually want.
You could roll this out worldwide.
- Like Pringles. - Absolutely.
It's... It's interesting stuff though.
When you're done with Stentonford,
there may be an opportunity in South America.
Se puede hablar espaol?
Vivi en Madrid tres aos.
Excelente.
What?
He's not coming.