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ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1zwbd | iv1w1o2 | 1,667,584,715 | 1,667,583,258 | 91 | 4 | u/illustrious_you_2362 you HAVE to get a custody order in place. You say that you would stop her from taking the kids again but you can’t. You could try physically but then the police would be called, they would either arrest you (which means you will have hours where you can’t get legal proceedings started or have someone find out where she is) or the cops would allow their mother to take them. It’s not true that men don’t get custody when they pursue it (it’s just that a lot don’t) BUT many law enforcement might just default to allowing a mother to take her daughters, especially at such a young age. Get it in writing that the bf is abusive. Even if she doesn’t explicitly say “he beat them” if YOU say “remember how you brought them back because BF was hitting them with belts?” And she doesn’t refute it, that’s a step in the right direction. Because most people would deny it if it didn’t happen. Also, filing and going after custody FIRST is a mark in your favor. Especially because you’re a man (again, sad but true, statistically men don’t pursue custody as often as women). Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re fine and because they’re with you right now, you have any legal standing. Under a custody order, what your ex did before (taking them and disappearing) is kidnapping. And the police will find your ex and bring your kids back. With no custody order it’s just a mother taking her children, and there is nothing that police (or you) can do about it, unless she’s breaking the law in some way. GET A CUSTODY ORDER. Trust me. NO ONE has ever said “Damn, I really regret the law enforcing my rights as a parent” but there has been thousands upon thousands of parents that have regretted not having a custody arrangement in place. Don’t be one of the people that regrets it. Even if you end up with 50/50. It doesn’t sound like your ex is at a very stable or reliable point in her life. Every time she misses a weekend, every promise she breaks, every holiday she skips, it’s a mark in your favor to gaining full custody. Spend the money now. It may seem like a lot. But it’s a whole lot more hiring private detectives to find your kids and to avoid it in the future, you’ll have to spend the money to get custody anyway. | You didn’t say what state you were in but in nearly every state in the US a putative father of an out of wedlock child has zero legal rights until he is adjudicated the father by a court of law. It is imperative that you go to court, be adjudicated as the children’s father and get a court order for custody | 1 | 1,457 | 22.75 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1zwbd | iv1t88v | 1,667,584,715 | 1,667,582,196 | 91 | 3 | u/illustrious_you_2362 you HAVE to get a custody order in place. You say that you would stop her from taking the kids again but you can’t. You could try physically but then the police would be called, they would either arrest you (which means you will have hours where you can’t get legal proceedings started or have someone find out where she is) or the cops would allow their mother to take them. It’s not true that men don’t get custody when they pursue it (it’s just that a lot don’t) BUT many law enforcement might just default to allowing a mother to take her daughters, especially at such a young age. Get it in writing that the bf is abusive. Even if she doesn’t explicitly say “he beat them” if YOU say “remember how you brought them back because BF was hitting them with belts?” And she doesn’t refute it, that’s a step in the right direction. Because most people would deny it if it didn’t happen. Also, filing and going after custody FIRST is a mark in your favor. Especially because you’re a man (again, sad but true, statistically men don’t pursue custody as often as women). Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re fine and because they’re with you right now, you have any legal standing. Under a custody order, what your ex did before (taking them and disappearing) is kidnapping. And the police will find your ex and bring your kids back. With no custody order it’s just a mother taking her children, and there is nothing that police (or you) can do about it, unless she’s breaking the law in some way. GET A CUSTODY ORDER. Trust me. NO ONE has ever said “Damn, I really regret the law enforcing my rights as a parent” but there has been thousands upon thousands of parents that have regretted not having a custody arrangement in place. Don’t be one of the people that regrets it. Even if you end up with 50/50. It doesn’t sound like your ex is at a very stable or reliable point in her life. Every time she misses a weekend, every promise she breaks, every holiday she skips, it’s a mark in your favor to gaining full custody. Spend the money now. It may seem like a lot. But it’s a whole lot more hiring private detectives to find your kids and to avoid it in the future, you’ll have to spend the money to get custody anyway. | You need to follow through and establish full custody through the courts. You want to be proactive here. As things stand now she could show up at their school, identify herself as their mother, and take them again. | 1 | 2,519 | 30.333333 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1zwbd | iv1zczn | 1,667,584,715 | 1,667,584,508 | 91 | 2 | u/illustrious_you_2362 you HAVE to get a custody order in place. You say that you would stop her from taking the kids again but you can’t. You could try physically but then the police would be called, they would either arrest you (which means you will have hours where you can’t get legal proceedings started or have someone find out where she is) or the cops would allow their mother to take them. It’s not true that men don’t get custody when they pursue it (it’s just that a lot don’t) BUT many law enforcement might just default to allowing a mother to take her daughters, especially at such a young age. Get it in writing that the bf is abusive. Even if she doesn’t explicitly say “he beat them” if YOU say “remember how you brought them back because BF was hitting them with belts?” And she doesn’t refute it, that’s a step in the right direction. Because most people would deny it if it didn’t happen. Also, filing and going after custody FIRST is a mark in your favor. Especially because you’re a man (again, sad but true, statistically men don’t pursue custody as often as women). Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re fine and because they’re with you right now, you have any legal standing. Under a custody order, what your ex did before (taking them and disappearing) is kidnapping. And the police will find your ex and bring your kids back. With no custody order it’s just a mother taking her children, and there is nothing that police (or you) can do about it, unless she’s breaking the law in some way. GET A CUSTODY ORDER. Trust me. NO ONE has ever said “Damn, I really regret the law enforcing my rights as a parent” but there has been thousands upon thousands of parents that have regretted not having a custody arrangement in place. Don’t be one of the people that regrets it. Even if you end up with 50/50. It doesn’t sound like your ex is at a very stable or reliable point in her life. Every time she misses a weekend, every promise she breaks, every holiday she skips, it’s a mark in your favor to gaining full custody. Spend the money now. It may seem like a lot. But it’s a whole lot more hiring private detectives to find your kids and to avoid it in the future, you’ll have to spend the money to get custody anyway. | Yes omg absolutely see a lawyer… like, yesterday. | 1 | 207 | 45.5 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1jvm6 | iv1dkz1 | 1,667,578,562 | 1,667,576,107 | 86 | 8 | I am an attorney, but not your attorney, and I cannot scream it from the rooftops loud enough that you absolutely need an attorney and you should hire the best one you can afford because this is one of the most important things you will ever do in your life. | Yes you need a court order in place. I totally understand the 'let the bear sleep', but you are risking something much worse happening just for temporary peace. She already did something terrible. Do not assume it won't happen again; assume it will. Believe me I know it's easier to just let it be but you will absolutely regret it. You know it and that's why you're asking. Protect your kids. Do it now while 'the bear sleeps' rather than wait until you are in a desperate situation because the bear woke up and is mauling your ass. Get all your ducks in a row so you're protected if she retaliates, as in seek a temp order so she can't run off with them upon hearing you started legal proceedings. | 1 | 2,455 | 10.75 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1m6me | iv1dkz1 | 1,667,579,469 | 1,667,576,107 | 38 | 8 | You HAVE to get a custody agreement, spend the cash otherwise she can come and take them whenever she wants. | Yes you need a court order in place. I totally understand the 'let the bear sleep', but you are risking something much worse happening just for temporary peace. She already did something terrible. Do not assume it won't happen again; assume it will. Believe me I know it's easier to just let it be but you will absolutely regret it. You know it and that's why you're asking. Protect your kids. Do it now while 'the bear sleeps' rather than wait until you are in a desperate situation because the bear woke up and is mauling your ass. Get all your ducks in a row so you're protected if she retaliates, as in seek a temp order so she can't run off with them upon hearing you started legal proceedings. | 1 | 3,362 | 4.75 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1uvfl | iv1dkz1 | 1,667,582,815 | 1,667,576,107 | 19 | 8 | **GET THEE A LAWYER** If you never, ever, ever want to have any questions about custody and your children - go to court! Work with a family law attorney to complete all the required paperwork. Create a log of all contact that you can remember (dates, times, length). Work with the lawyer to see how to memorialize your kids' recollections of how they were treated by their mother and her boyfriend. Do this sooner rather than later. | Yes you need a court order in place. I totally understand the 'let the bear sleep', but you are risking something much worse happening just for temporary peace. She already did something terrible. Do not assume it won't happen again; assume it will. Believe me I know it's easier to just let it be but you will absolutely regret it. You know it and that's why you're asking. Protect your kids. Do it now while 'the bear sleeps' rather than wait until you are in a desperate situation because the bear woke up and is mauling your ass. Get all your ducks in a row so you're protected if she retaliates, as in seek a temp order so she can't run off with them upon hearing you started legal proceedings. | 1 | 6,708 | 2.375 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1uvfl | iv1q16m | 1,667,582,815 | 1,667,580,965 | 19 | 6 | **GET THEE A LAWYER** If you never, ever, ever want to have any questions about custody and your children - go to court! Work with a family law attorney to complete all the required paperwork. Create a log of all contact that you can remember (dates, times, length). Work with the lawyer to see how to memorialize your kids' recollections of how they were treated by their mother and her boyfriend. Do this sooner rather than later. | Document EVERYTHING!!! Part of which is to literally get a daytimer or a page a day calendar and note on each day her contact with her children even if it is zero. Also note what you did with the kids... that you bought them clothes, if you took them to the doctor, drove them to school etc. Note any phone calls you get from her & what she said. The holidays are coming up and you need to note if she called, sent a card, presents for birthdays and holidays. Document any text messages that you have had between the two of you. Get a family law attorney and get the ball rolling ASAP to file for 100% custody. She has shown you that she is manipulative, makes poor life choices, and cannot be trusted. She is a shitty parent. You need to document this. Get everything together like doctor bills you paid for, text messages, including that her BF hit the girls, lived in a motel room, get them therapy, start that paper trail that establishes her as the terrible parent she is. BTW... The other aspect of going to court is she is their parent and as such she is financially responsible and If she has a job she needs to contribute to the cost of raising them. The court will establish a support order. Even if you don't need the funds you can set the money aside as a nest egg towards college. | 1 | 1,850 | 3.166667 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1uvfl | iv1t88v | 1,667,582,815 | 1,667,582,196 | 19 | 3 | **GET THEE A LAWYER** If you never, ever, ever want to have any questions about custody and your children - go to court! Work with a family law attorney to complete all the required paperwork. Create a log of all contact that you can remember (dates, times, length). Work with the lawyer to see how to memorialize your kids' recollections of how they were treated by their mother and her boyfriend. Do this sooner rather than later. | You need to follow through and establish full custody through the courts. You want to be proactive here. As things stand now she could show up at their school, identify herself as their mother, and take them again. | 1 | 619 | 6.333333 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1dkz1 | iv1y76z | 1,667,576,107 | 1,667,584,066 | 8 | 10 | Yes you need a court order in place. I totally understand the 'let the bear sleep', but you are risking something much worse happening just for temporary peace. She already did something terrible. Do not assume it won't happen again; assume it will. Believe me I know it's easier to just let it be but you will absolutely regret it. You know it and that's why you're asking. Protect your kids. Do it now while 'the bear sleeps' rather than wait until you are in a desperate situation because the bear woke up and is mauling your ass. Get all your ducks in a row so you're protected if she retaliates, as in seek a temp order so she can't run off with them upon hearing you started legal proceedings. | I can’t see all the comments but were you married when the children were born? Are you on the birth certificate? If not then you legally have no rights in the US until the court says so. You don’t need a lawyer to file for paternity - that’s a form you file at the courthouse for like $150 and the court will order the test. After you prove paternity you can file for custody. | 0 | 7,959 | 1.25 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1zd0o | iv1dkz1 | 1,667,584,508 | 1,667,576,107 | 9 | 8 | Now is the time to file because you have a solid case for abandonment and a chance she won't fight it. I'd file before she contacts you again so you can memorialize that period. Abandonment is a pretty straightforward cause so you should pursue it while you can. You may be eligible for free legal aid as well, based on income. | Yes you need a court order in place. I totally understand the 'let the bear sleep', but you are risking something much worse happening just for temporary peace. She already did something terrible. Do not assume it won't happen again; assume it will. Believe me I know it's easier to just let it be but you will absolutely regret it. You know it and that's why you're asking. Protect your kids. Do it now while 'the bear sleeps' rather than wait until you are in a desperate situation because the bear woke up and is mauling your ass. Get all your ducks in a row so you're protected if she retaliates, as in seek a temp order so she can't run off with them upon hearing you started legal proceedings. | 1 | 8,401 | 1.125 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1y76z | iv1q16m | 1,667,584,066 | 1,667,580,965 | 10 | 6 | I can’t see all the comments but were you married when the children were born? Are you on the birth certificate? If not then you legally have no rights in the US until the court says so. You don’t need a lawyer to file for paternity - that’s a form you file at the courthouse for like $150 and the court will order the test. After you prove paternity you can file for custody. | Document EVERYTHING!!! Part of which is to literally get a daytimer or a page a day calendar and note on each day her contact with her children even if it is zero. Also note what you did with the kids... that you bought them clothes, if you took them to the doctor, drove them to school etc. Note any phone calls you get from her & what she said. The holidays are coming up and you need to note if she called, sent a card, presents for birthdays and holidays. Document any text messages that you have had between the two of you. Get a family law attorney and get the ball rolling ASAP to file for 100% custody. She has shown you that she is manipulative, makes poor life choices, and cannot be trusted. She is a shitty parent. You need to document this. Get everything together like doctor bills you paid for, text messages, including that her BF hit the girls, lived in a motel room, get them therapy, start that paper trail that establishes her as the terrible parent she is. BTW... The other aspect of going to court is she is their parent and as such she is financially responsible and If she has a job she needs to contribute to the cost of raising them. The court will establish a support order. Even if you don't need the funds you can set the money aside as a nest egg towards college. | 1 | 3,101 | 1.666667 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1y76z | iv1w1o2 | 1,667,584,066 | 1,667,583,258 | 10 | 4 | I can’t see all the comments but were you married when the children were born? Are you on the birth certificate? If not then you legally have no rights in the US until the court says so. You don’t need a lawyer to file for paternity - that’s a form you file at the courthouse for like $150 and the court will order the test. After you prove paternity you can file for custody. | You didn’t say what state you were in but in nearly every state in the US a putative father of an out of wedlock child has zero legal rights until he is adjudicated the father by a court of law. It is imperative that you go to court, be adjudicated as the children’s father and get a court order for custody | 1 | 808 | 2.5 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1t88v | iv1y76z | 1,667,582,196 | 1,667,584,066 | 3 | 10 | You need to follow through and establish full custody through the courts. You want to be proactive here. As things stand now she could show up at their school, identify herself as their mother, and take them again. | I can’t see all the comments but were you married when the children were born? Are you on the birth certificate? If not then you legally have no rights in the US until the court says so. You don’t need a lawyer to file for paternity - that’s a form you file at the courthouse for like $150 and the court will order the test. After you prove paternity you can file for custody. | 0 | 1,870 | 3.333333 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1q16m | iv1zd0o | 1,667,580,965 | 1,667,584,508 | 6 | 9 | Document EVERYTHING!!! Part of which is to literally get a daytimer or a page a day calendar and note on each day her contact with her children even if it is zero. Also note what you did with the kids... that you bought them clothes, if you took them to the doctor, drove them to school etc. Note any phone calls you get from her & what she said. The holidays are coming up and you need to note if she called, sent a card, presents for birthdays and holidays. Document any text messages that you have had between the two of you. Get a family law attorney and get the ball rolling ASAP to file for 100% custody. She has shown you that she is manipulative, makes poor life choices, and cannot be trusted. She is a shitty parent. You need to document this. Get everything together like doctor bills you paid for, text messages, including that her BF hit the girls, lived in a motel room, get them therapy, start that paper trail that establishes her as the terrible parent she is. BTW... The other aspect of going to court is she is their parent and as such she is financially responsible and If she has a job she needs to contribute to the cost of raising them. The court will establish a support order. Even if you don't need the funds you can set the money aside as a nest egg towards college. | Now is the time to file because you have a solid case for abandonment and a chance she won't fight it. I'd file before she contacts you again so you can memorialize that period. Abandonment is a pretty straightforward cause so you should pursue it while you can. You may be eligible for free legal aid as well, based on income. | 0 | 3,543 | 1.5 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1w1o2 | iv1zd0o | 1,667,583,258 | 1,667,584,508 | 4 | 9 | You didn’t say what state you were in but in nearly every state in the US a putative father of an out of wedlock child has zero legal rights until he is adjudicated the father by a court of law. It is imperative that you go to court, be adjudicated as the children’s father and get a court order for custody | Now is the time to file because you have a solid case for abandonment and a chance she won't fight it. I'd file before she contacts you again so you can memorialize that period. Abandonment is a pretty straightforward cause so you should pursue it while you can. You may be eligible for free legal aid as well, based on income. | 0 | 1,250 | 2.25 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1zd0o | iv1t88v | 1,667,584,508 | 1,667,582,196 | 9 | 3 | Now is the time to file because you have a solid case for abandonment and a chance she won't fight it. I'd file before she contacts you again so you can memorialize that period. Abandonment is a pretty straightforward cause so you should pursue it while you can. You may be eligible for free legal aid as well, based on income. | You need to follow through and establish full custody through the courts. You want to be proactive here. As things stand now she could show up at their school, identify herself as their mother, and take them again. | 1 | 2,312 | 3 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1zd0o | iv1zczn | 1,667,584,508 | 1,667,584,508 | 9 | 2 | Now is the time to file because you have a solid case for abandonment and a chance she won't fight it. I'd file before she contacts you again so you can memorialize that period. Abandonment is a pretty straightforward cause so you should pursue it while you can. You may be eligible for free legal aid as well, based on income. | Yes omg absolutely see a lawyer… like, yesterday. | 1 | 0 | 4.5 |
ym0xha | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Is it necessary to go to court for legal custody, or should I be fine? [NC] I have 2 daughter's (6 and 7) whose birthdays were in July and September, respectively. I have been in their lives since prenatal appointments. Their mother left me for another man in July 2020. Since she left, her communication with the girls has been very spotty (months in between), and I have been 100% the only provider for them, and they've been in my physical custody. We saw her in February of last year, and then didn't hear from her until May 12th of the same year. While she was visiting during that day, I was exhausted and passed out from work. When I woke up, she was gone, and had taken the kids. She took them to live in a motel room with her boyfriend (random man to my kids and myself) and his 3 sons, who I believe ages ranged from like 6-12 at the time. She had them from May 13th, until I found her and took them back on August 26th of the same year. During the time she was gone, she wouldn't let me speak to them, and I missed my youngest daughter's birthday for the first time. The 2 times I saw her during that time frame, she tried to blackmail me I to signing joint custody papers. When. I got my kids back, they told me that their mom and her boyfriend had been spewing venom to them about me, and that the boyfriend would hit them with a belt. When I confronted her via phone, she said "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I let you have them?". October 11th of last year, she texted me saying "I have to go away for a while". I didn't hear from her again until January on this year, and she spoke to them on the phone for all of about 5 minutes (If I'm being generous). Since then, we haven't heard from her. No birthday calla, nothing. I keep tabs on her via social media, so I know she is alive and well, and has a car. Her not seeing my kids is 100% her decision. I originally filed for full custody during the period where she took my kids, but I didn't follow through once I got them back. I still don't want to follow through yet, because I feel like she'd try to contest it just to spite me, and I don't want to wake the sleeping bear. Is it vital for me to file for custody, or am I fine by letting her go even longer without contact, to ruin her chances in the event she tries anything? I don't talk to my kids about her, as I don't see the point, but they express to me that they don't even so much as want to talk to her on the phone. Even for their birthdays. I also don't plan on ever letting her around them unsupervised, so she can't take them again. What is it looking like for me? | iv1w1o2 | iv1t88v | 1,667,583,258 | 1,667,582,196 | 4 | 3 | You didn’t say what state you were in but in nearly every state in the US a putative father of an out of wedlock child has zero legal rights until he is adjudicated the father by a court of law. It is imperative that you go to court, be adjudicated as the children’s father and get a court order for custody | You need to follow through and establish full custody through the courts. You want to be proactive here. As things stand now she could show up at their school, identify herself as their mother, and take them again. | 1 | 1,062 | 1.333333 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5aknd9 | i5bxzd4 | 1,650,336,341 | 1,650,369,393 | 56 | 58 | It's a pain but you can order replacements for all of these documents. You don't need your parents for these once you're 18. | Reading between the lines, you are trying to escape an abusive environment. There are places to help you make a plan: legal, safety, emotional, practical. Yes, the police will help you get your things and you have thought through school very well. You need a short term plan to get from here to there, and others have gone through this exact same thing. It's hard. You need support but the world is very big and not controlled by your parents or church, I promise. Good luck to you! | 0 | 33,052 | 1.035714 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5bxzd4 | i5ait9d | 1,650,369,393 | 1,650,335,524 | 58 | 40 | Reading between the lines, you are trying to escape an abusive environment. There are places to help you make a plan: legal, safety, emotional, practical. Yes, the police will help you get your things and you have thought through school very well. You need a short term plan to get from here to there, and others have gone through this exact same thing. It's hard. You need support but the world is very big and not controlled by your parents or church, I promise. Good luck to you! | Call the police to go with you to collect your personal items. | 1 | 33,869 | 1.45 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5bbdne | i5bxzd4 | 1,650,352,169 | 1,650,369,393 | 25 | 58 | Open a bank account at a different bank. Go in person to the bank that has your savings account (after you get an ID document) and ask them to transfer the money to the new account. It only works if the savings account is in your name, hopefully it is the case. | Reading between the lines, you are trying to escape an abusive environment. There are places to help you make a plan: legal, safety, emotional, practical. Yes, the police will help you get your things and you have thought through school very well. You need a short term plan to get from here to there, and others have gone through this exact same thing. It's hard. You need support but the world is very big and not controlled by your parents or church, I promise. Good luck to you! | 0 | 17,224 | 2.32 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5bxzd4 | i5ajw46 | 1,650,369,393 | 1,650,336,000 | 58 | 15 | Reading between the lines, you are trying to escape an abusive environment. There are places to help you make a plan: legal, safety, emotional, practical. Yes, the police will help you get your things and you have thought through school very well. You need a short term plan to get from here to there, and others have gone through this exact same thing. It's hard. You need support but the world is very big and not controlled by your parents or church, I promise. Good luck to you! | The simplest way is to get replacements. Despite the birth certificate having your name on it, it is not “yours” in any legal sense. There are plenty of valid reasons for a parent to need to own a certified copy of their children’s birth certificate and SS Card; and the fact that a parent owns one copy does not imply the child cannot get another, or the child has to control every copy in existence. The child is of course also entitled to request a copy from the state; but you didn’t pay the fee to get those documents. They aren’t yours, even though they relate to you. You say your mom and stepfather are the issue. Is your father still alive and do you have any kind of relationship with them? Your father can request a copy of your BC and give it to you, and you can use the BC and secondary proof of ID and an affidavit from another US citizen who has know you for two years to get a passport, which you can then use to get a drivers license/state ID. When you have that, go in person to the bank and withdraw the money in person. | 1 | 33,393 | 3.866667 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5bxzd4 | i5bbo8p | 1,650,369,393 | 1,650,352,405 | 58 | 13 | Reading between the lines, you are trying to escape an abusive environment. There are places to help you make a plan: legal, safety, emotional, practical. Yes, the police will help you get your things and you have thought through school very well. You need a short term plan to get from here to there, and others have gone through this exact same thing. It's hard. You need support but the world is very big and not controlled by your parents or church, I promise. Good luck to you! | Also, open a PO Box at post office so they can’t get your mail. | 1 | 16,988 | 4.461538 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5ait9d | i5aknd9 | 1,650,335,524 | 1,650,336,341 | 40 | 56 | Call the police to go with you to collect your personal items. | It's a pain but you can order replacements for all of these documents. You don't need your parents for these once you're 18. | 0 | 817 | 1.4 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5aknd9 | i5ajw46 | 1,650,336,341 | 1,650,336,000 | 56 | 15 | It's a pain but you can order replacements for all of these documents. You don't need your parents for these once you're 18. | The simplest way is to get replacements. Despite the birth certificate having your name on it, it is not “yours” in any legal sense. There are plenty of valid reasons for a parent to need to own a certified copy of their children’s birth certificate and SS Card; and the fact that a parent owns one copy does not imply the child cannot get another, or the child has to control every copy in existence. The child is of course also entitled to request a copy from the state; but you didn’t pay the fee to get those documents. They aren’t yours, even though they relate to you. You say your mom and stepfather are the issue. Is your father still alive and do you have any kind of relationship with them? Your father can request a copy of your BC and give it to you, and you can use the BC and secondary proof of ID and an affidavit from another US citizen who has know you for two years to get a passport, which you can then use to get a drivers license/state ID. When you have that, go in person to the bank and withdraw the money in person. | 1 | 341 | 3.733333 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c52sf | i5bbdne | 1,650,373,060 | 1,650,352,169 | 29 | 25 | The bank account was opened when you were a minor and your mother is most likely authorized on it. As controlling as she is, how do you know you have any money still in the account? | Open a bank account at a different bank. Go in person to the bank that has your savings account (after you get an ID document) and ask them to transfer the money to the new account. It only works if the savings account is in your name, hopefully it is the case. | 1 | 20,891 | 1.16 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c52sf | i5ajw46 | 1,650,373,060 | 1,650,336,000 | 29 | 15 | The bank account was opened when you were a minor and your mother is most likely authorized on it. As controlling as she is, how do you know you have any money still in the account? | The simplest way is to get replacements. Despite the birth certificate having your name on it, it is not “yours” in any legal sense. There are plenty of valid reasons for a parent to need to own a certified copy of their children’s birth certificate and SS Card; and the fact that a parent owns one copy does not imply the child cannot get another, or the child has to control every copy in existence. The child is of course also entitled to request a copy from the state; but you didn’t pay the fee to get those documents. They aren’t yours, even though they relate to you. You say your mom and stepfather are the issue. Is your father still alive and do you have any kind of relationship with them? Your father can request a copy of your BC and give it to you, and you can use the BC and secondary proof of ID and an affidavit from another US citizen who has know you for two years to get a passport, which you can then use to get a drivers license/state ID. When you have that, go in person to the bank and withdraw the money in person. | 1 | 37,060 | 1.933333 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c52sf | i5bbo8p | 1,650,373,060 | 1,650,352,405 | 29 | 13 | The bank account was opened when you were a minor and your mother is most likely authorized on it. As controlling as she is, how do you know you have any money still in the account? | Also, open a PO Box at post office so they can’t get your mail. | 1 | 20,655 | 2.230769 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c0qw7 | i5c52sf | 1,650,370,898 | 1,650,373,060 | 11 | 29 | OP You have 2 choices: 1) Nothing and order replacements. 2) Call the cops. What she is doing is illegal and you need a lawyer. She can not hold you there and if you are not willing to take a stand, or even stop this and say no, where she can steal from you then that is on you. I know it sounds cold, I know it hurts, but Op, there is no other way. The problem with replacements, is that when you do order them, you would have to still prove who you are, and be able to check and get to the mail before she does, and if she finds out, **HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PHYSICALLY STOP HER AND HER HUSBAND FROM JUST TAKING IT FROM YOU AND OR DESTROYING IT?** Worse yet, she has been doing your Taxes, what is your credit like? Too many what ifs and not enough issues her. Up to you, but I think you may want to do things like start looking into your credit report see if there is anything there and if there is, get the cops involved ASAP and start to make life difficult for her legally. | The bank account was opened when you were a minor and your mother is most likely authorized on it. As controlling as she is, how do you know you have any money still in the account? | 0 | 2,162 | 2.636364 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c35f0 | i5c52sf | 1,650,372,130 | 1,650,373,060 | 9 | 29 | Get the box and have a locksmith bust it open. Then bounce. Move on. Don't look back. Since it's your possessions, it's not stealing. | The bank account was opened when you were a minor and your mother is most likely authorized on it. As controlling as she is, how do you know you have any money still in the account? | 0 | 930 | 3.222222 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c2fea | i5c52sf | 1,650,371,770 | 1,650,373,060 | 3 | 29 | You shouldn’t need your SSN to order a new BC - you should be able to do it online but you’ll need to know the state / city and be able to pay a fee online. You also will need somewhere safe to mail it. From there you can work on other things. | The bank account was opened when you were a minor and your mother is most likely authorized on it. As controlling as she is, how do you know you have any money still in the account? | 0 | 1,290 | 9.666667 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5ajw46 | i5bbdne | 1,650,336,000 | 1,650,352,169 | 15 | 25 | The simplest way is to get replacements. Despite the birth certificate having your name on it, it is not “yours” in any legal sense. There are plenty of valid reasons for a parent to need to own a certified copy of their children’s birth certificate and SS Card; and the fact that a parent owns one copy does not imply the child cannot get another, or the child has to control every copy in existence. The child is of course also entitled to request a copy from the state; but you didn’t pay the fee to get those documents. They aren’t yours, even though they relate to you. You say your mom and stepfather are the issue. Is your father still alive and do you have any kind of relationship with them? Your father can request a copy of your BC and give it to you, and you can use the BC and secondary proof of ID and an affidavit from another US citizen who has know you for two years to get a passport, which you can then use to get a drivers license/state ID. When you have that, go in person to the bank and withdraw the money in person. | Open a bank account at a different bank. Go in person to the bank that has your savings account (after you get an ID document) and ask them to transfer the money to the new account. It only works if the savings account is in your name, hopefully it is the case. | 0 | 16,169 | 1.666667 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c97b3 | i5bbo8p | 1,650,374,936 | 1,650,352,405 | 14 | 13 | You can reach out to a DV shelter in your area. They will help you. You can also call CPS, despite being 18, they often have options for people in your situation. Also calling the care line for your state like 211 can get you in contact with someone who can help you. You can’t do this without creating a report and using the authorities. There is nothing that will “force” your parents to give up your info. Your job will have your SSN and maybe even a copy of the card from when you started working. It’s likely that you will never see that money again though. Divert your paycheck to your own account which the domestic violence shelter can help you do. | Also, open a PO Box at post office so they can’t get your mail. | 1 | 22,531 | 1.076923 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c97b3 | i5c0qw7 | 1,650,374,936 | 1,650,370,898 | 14 | 11 | You can reach out to a DV shelter in your area. They will help you. You can also call CPS, despite being 18, they often have options for people in your situation. Also calling the care line for your state like 211 can get you in contact with someone who can help you. You can’t do this without creating a report and using the authorities. There is nothing that will “force” your parents to give up your info. Your job will have your SSN and maybe even a copy of the card from when you started working. It’s likely that you will never see that money again though. Divert your paycheck to your own account which the domestic violence shelter can help you do. | OP You have 2 choices: 1) Nothing and order replacements. 2) Call the cops. What she is doing is illegal and you need a lawyer. She can not hold you there and if you are not willing to take a stand, or even stop this and say no, where she can steal from you then that is on you. I know it sounds cold, I know it hurts, but Op, there is no other way. The problem with replacements, is that when you do order them, you would have to still prove who you are, and be able to check and get to the mail before she does, and if she finds out, **HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PHYSICALLY STOP HER AND HER HUSBAND FROM JUST TAKING IT FROM YOU AND OR DESTROYING IT?** Worse yet, she has been doing your Taxes, what is your credit like? Too many what ifs and not enough issues her. Up to you, but I think you may want to do things like start looking into your credit report see if there is anything there and if there is, get the cops involved ASAP and start to make life difficult for her legally. | 1 | 4,038 | 1.272727 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c97b3 | i5c35f0 | 1,650,374,936 | 1,650,372,130 | 14 | 9 | You can reach out to a DV shelter in your area. They will help you. You can also call CPS, despite being 18, they often have options for people in your situation. Also calling the care line for your state like 211 can get you in contact with someone who can help you. You can’t do this without creating a report and using the authorities. There is nothing that will “force” your parents to give up your info. Your job will have your SSN and maybe even a copy of the card from when you started working. It’s likely that you will never see that money again though. Divert your paycheck to your own account which the domestic violence shelter can help you do. | Get the box and have a locksmith bust it open. Then bounce. Move on. Don't look back. Since it's your possessions, it's not stealing. | 1 | 2,806 | 1.555556 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c97b3 | i5c95jp | 1,650,374,936 | 1,650,374,915 | 14 | 5 | You can reach out to a DV shelter in your area. They will help you. You can also call CPS, despite being 18, they often have options for people in your situation. Also calling the care line for your state like 211 can get you in contact with someone who can help you. You can’t do this without creating a report and using the authorities. There is nothing that will “force” your parents to give up your info. Your job will have your SSN and maybe even a copy of the card from when you started working. It’s likely that you will never see that money again though. Divert your paycheck to your own account which the domestic violence shelter can help you do. | You can try calling your state Representative or senator (the one who goes to Salt Lake City, not the one who goes to Washington). Don't tell them all the details, just say you're trying to escape an abusive household and your abuser is withholding your documents, you don't have id, and you don't know your ssn. They might want to you make an appointment to see them at their local office. This kind of constituent service is their bread and butter. You could also call your local women's shelter and tell them the same thing. They may have tips for how to proceed that are specific to your local area. | 1 | 21 | 2.8 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c2fea | i5c97b3 | 1,650,371,770 | 1,650,374,936 | 3 | 14 | You shouldn’t need your SSN to order a new BC - you should be able to do it online but you’ll need to know the state / city and be able to pay a fee online. You also will need somewhere safe to mail it. From there you can work on other things. | You can reach out to a DV shelter in your area. They will help you. You can also call CPS, despite being 18, they often have options for people in your situation. Also calling the care line for your state like 211 can get you in contact with someone who can help you. You can’t do this without creating a report and using the authorities. There is nothing that will “force” your parents to give up your info. Your job will have your SSN and maybe even a copy of the card from when you started working. It’s likely that you will never see that money again though. Divert your paycheck to your own account which the domestic violence shelter can help you do. | 0 | 3,166 | 4.666667 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c2fea | i5c35f0 | 1,650,371,770 | 1,650,372,130 | 3 | 9 | You shouldn’t need your SSN to order a new BC - you should be able to do it online but you’ll need to know the state / city and be able to pay a fee online. You also will need somewhere safe to mail it. From there you can work on other things. | Get the box and have a locksmith bust it open. Then bounce. Move on. Don't look back. Since it's your possessions, it's not stealing. | 0 | 360 | 3 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c2fea | i5cw776 | 1,650,371,770 | 1,650,384,079 | 3 | 5 | You shouldn’t need your SSN to order a new BC - you should be able to do it online but you’ll need to know the state / city and be able to pay a fee online. You also will need somewhere safe to mail it. From there you can work on other things. | Depending on where you are in UT and the details of the religious organization your family is involved in there are a number of charities that focus on helping people escape situations similar to what you describe. They may have dealt with the exact situation you are describing and know the best steps in Utah. “Hope after Polygamy” and “Holing out Hope” deal with leaving polygamous families. If that’s not what you are referring to there will be others as well. You are probably not the first person in this situation and the issues can be very specific to Utah culture. Good luck. | 0 | 12,309 | 1.666667 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5cw776 | i5cqb3r | 1,650,384,079 | 1,650,381,838 | 5 | 2 | Depending on where you are in UT and the details of the religious organization your family is involved in there are a number of charities that focus on helping people escape situations similar to what you describe. They may have dealt with the exact situation you are describing and know the best steps in Utah. “Hope after Polygamy” and “Holing out Hope” deal with leaving polygamous families. If that’s not what you are referring to there will be others as well. You are probably not the first person in this situation and the issues can be very specific to Utah culture. Good luck. | Looking this over it seems like there are a few places you could go to get your SSN, at least: A good option could be your primary care provider (your doctor). You'll likely need vaccination records for college anyway and your doctor should have your SSN on file and potentially a copy of your birth certificate. You're 18, they may just give them to you upon request. At the very least you should change over medical contact info so they don't contact your mom regarding your medical care. Have you tried asking your employer for hardcopy tax documents? Say you need them to file. 'Tis the season. You could contact the university and request access to your application materials. This may contain your SSN. If you already have a student account set up (like Canvas or Blackboard) you might also have a place on there to download tax documents. A lot of universities have this because people need to prove they are students for tax and loan repayment purposes. Finally, you could contact the IRS and explain the bare bones of the situation to them. Say you're employed, you want to pay your taxes, but your parents have either lost or refuse to give you your identification info. They might be more amenable to helping you if you frame it as "I am trying to give you money" instead of "I want to leave home please help me". Most importantly, document EVERYTHING while you're trying to get this info. Set up an email your mom doesn't know about if you can. Get things in writing. Create a paper trail. If your mom has completely boxed you out of this knowledge by relying on community members to keep up the charade you might eventually have to turn to the police whether you like it or not. Good luck OP. I hope this works out for you! | 1 | 2,241 | 2.5 |
u6udxu | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | My mom is withholding my legal documents (birth certificate, SSN, tax forms) from me, her adult child. What can I do legally, without causing trouble in the community for myself? [UT] I’m 18 and I’m trying to move out of state away from my abusive household. I won’t go into detail but the problems are caused by my mom’s husband who she married when I was 9, and my mom who enables him. My mom knows I want to leave and absolutely will not let me. I’ve already been accepted with a scholarship out of state, but she’s trying to force me to stay in state. I have the money to cover book costs and leftover tuition for the first year and I’ll be working during college to cover payments. I’m also ready to take out loans if I need it, I just really need to get the fuck out of this place. But she won’t allow me access to my money. I’ve saved the money from working minimum wage since 15, as well as doing odd jobs around town like mowing lawns, dog sitting, and the likes. All legal. I spent very little of it as I was receiving it, and I have around 20k. My mom is the only one with the bank details and will not let me access my own money. It’s linked to her email and number so I can’t even change my login details. I don’t even have a card, just a savings account. The other thing - she will not grant me access to my birth certificate, social security number, tax forms, nothing. Before you ask I don’t have a drivers license or permit so I’m shit out of luck there. She does my taxes for me each year and specifically doesn’t let me see my SSN. She filled out my college applications and job applications with my personal info because “your SSN is none of your business”. I truly have no idea how to find it out. She keeps the papers in a lockbox that I couldn’t even begin to guess the code to, and I wouldn’t want her to find out I did that anyway. I always thought it was weird that she didn’t want me to see any of this stuff, but she’s always been controlling. What can I do? I can’t just order a birth certificate since I have no way to ID myself. I don’t want to make a court case out of it. My friends and I are trying to get out of our neighborhood as quietly as possible (tight-knit religious community, lots of abusive parents in the name of religion, abuse goes on directly in the church. Plus we’re mostly part of a community that a certain religion associated with Utah isn’t very fond of.) But anyway the last thing I want to do is sue my mom and her husband, or get into a legal battle that means I’ll have to stay here for longer. My mom’s husband especially is well loved and known within our community and it would bring me unwanted attention if I accused him and my mom of abuse/withholding my records. Is there, at all, an “under the table” legal way I can go about this? Or is my best option just trying to break into the lockbox or leave without them? Thanks in advance. And sorry if the text is a little scrambled, it was written in a hurry. | i5c95jp | i5c2fea | 1,650,374,915 | 1,650,371,770 | 5 | 3 | You can try calling your state Representative or senator (the one who goes to Salt Lake City, not the one who goes to Washington). Don't tell them all the details, just say you're trying to escape an abusive household and your abuser is withholding your documents, you don't have id, and you don't know your ssn. They might want to you make an appointment to see them at their local office. This kind of constituent service is their bread and butter. You could also call your local women's shelter and tell them the same thing. They may have tips for how to proceed that are specific to your local area. | You shouldn’t need your SSN to order a new BC - you should be able to do it online but you’ll need to know the state / city and be able to pay a fee online. You also will need somewhere safe to mail it. From there you can work on other things. | 1 | 3,145 | 1.666667 |
72evwz | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NJ] Neighbors kid sat on my motorcycle without permission. Fell and broke his femur. Am I liable? I park my motorcycle in the parking lot in my designated spot for my complex. I only carry liability insurance on it. Welp. I hear a kid start screaming, go outside, and find a kid pinned under my motorcycle in the riding position. The forks were locked and there was a rear wheel lock on the bike as well. The kids friend tells me they were trying to take a picture on the motorcycle, the one on the bike kicked the kickstand up, and then lost his balance and the bike tipped over crushing his leg under the bike. (bike is a large cruiser) I quickly lifted the bike up and called 911. While waiting for the police I notice a screw driver on the floor and my ignition is completely bashed in. It looks like the kids were trying to start the bike to take for a joyride. The police came, an ambulance came, and the kids parents were no where to be found. Turns out he's 13 and live in my complex. The ambulance takes the kid away. The police took some notes, I explained to them what happened and the kids friend is hysterical crying. Police agree it looks like the kid was trying to take the bike given the damage to the ignition and the screwdriver. After everything was done I had my local insurance come out and look at the bike the next day and theres $1000+ of damage to the bike from the drop and attempted theft. Also, the father calls me the same day saying his son has a broken femur and he's going to sue me unless I pay the medical expenses because they don't have health insurance. I promptly tell him I don't want to communicate with him without an attorney and he comes to my unit and starts bashing my front door with a baseball bat screaming for me to come out. There are marks all over the door, I call the police, they come when the guys gone. They interview me, go to the guys unit, interview him and his wife who deny everything. Cops say they can't do anything because they didn't see it happen (what?!?!?). What the hell do I do here? My liability insurance isn't covering the damage done to my bike, I don't even know where to start with this kids injuries, and now I'm afraid of some guy smashing my face in. So....any advice? | dnhyqwr | dnhz4u0 | 1,506,368,730 | 1,506,369,119 | 38 | 103 | > Cops say they can't do anything because they didn't see it happen (what?!?!?). Well, yeah, it's your word against his. I know you were scared and freaked out, but if possible next time take video. In the meantime, the fact that the police showed up and talked to them is probably going to calm things down unless this guy is truly a maniac. As to your own liability for the kid's leg here: I wouldn't worry too much, because all you did was park your motorcycle. If they lawyer up, then you should follow suit, but short of that I wouldn't stress. If you have a home insurance or renter's insurance policy, it might even cover you just in case. As to _their_ liability to you: you have a solid claim against them for the damage to your bike. But I'm going to guess that if they lack health insurance, they may not have a ton of money. Whether you want to pursue them is up to you. On the one hand, you have a good case and they owe you the money. On the other hand, they sound like a nightmare to deal with and you might still never get your money. | I would sue them for the damages done to your bike. | 0 | 389 | 2.710526 |
72evwz | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NJ] Neighbors kid sat on my motorcycle without permission. Fell and broke his femur. Am I liable? I park my motorcycle in the parking lot in my designated spot for my complex. I only carry liability insurance on it. Welp. I hear a kid start screaming, go outside, and find a kid pinned under my motorcycle in the riding position. The forks were locked and there was a rear wheel lock on the bike as well. The kids friend tells me they were trying to take a picture on the motorcycle, the one on the bike kicked the kickstand up, and then lost his balance and the bike tipped over crushing his leg under the bike. (bike is a large cruiser) I quickly lifted the bike up and called 911. While waiting for the police I notice a screw driver on the floor and my ignition is completely bashed in. It looks like the kids were trying to start the bike to take for a joyride. The police came, an ambulance came, and the kids parents were no where to be found. Turns out he's 13 and live in my complex. The ambulance takes the kid away. The police took some notes, I explained to them what happened and the kids friend is hysterical crying. Police agree it looks like the kid was trying to take the bike given the damage to the ignition and the screwdriver. After everything was done I had my local insurance come out and look at the bike the next day and theres $1000+ of damage to the bike from the drop and attempted theft. Also, the father calls me the same day saying his son has a broken femur and he's going to sue me unless I pay the medical expenses because they don't have health insurance. I promptly tell him I don't want to communicate with him without an attorney and he comes to my unit and starts bashing my front door with a baseball bat screaming for me to come out. There are marks all over the door, I call the police, they come when the guys gone. They interview me, go to the guys unit, interview him and his wife who deny everything. Cops say they can't do anything because they didn't see it happen (what?!?!?). What the hell do I do here? My liability insurance isn't covering the damage done to my bike, I don't even know where to start with this kids injuries, and now I'm afraid of some guy smashing my face in. So....any advice? | dnianli | dnhyqwr | 1,506,381,958 | 1,506,368,730 | 83 | 38 | >the father calls me the same day saying his son has a broken femur and he's going to sue me unless I pay the medical expenses because they don't have health insurance. I promptly tell him I don't want to communicate with him without an attorney Unless that bike was somehow improperly stored or some kind of known hazard to fall over and pin people, they aren't going to have a case. You still want to get an attorney though. Normally they should be offering to pay for your damages but they don't seem cooperative so you should do it by the book. Consult with the attorney, confirm you have no liability for their child's injury, then send them a demand letter for the costs to repair your bike and door. If they don't pay, you can sue them. This will probably set the father off so it may be good to have a home security camera. Make sure you keep logs of all interactions and report anything major to the police. | > Cops say they can't do anything because they didn't see it happen (what?!?!?). Well, yeah, it's your word against his. I know you were scared and freaked out, but if possible next time take video. In the meantime, the fact that the police showed up and talked to them is probably going to calm things down unless this guy is truly a maniac. As to your own liability for the kid's leg here: I wouldn't worry too much, because all you did was park your motorcycle. If they lawyer up, then you should follow suit, but short of that I wouldn't stress. If you have a home insurance or renter's insurance policy, it might even cover you just in case. As to _their_ liability to you: you have a solid claim against them for the damage to your bike. But I'm going to guess that if they lack health insurance, they may not have a ton of money. Whether you want to pursue them is up to you. On the one hand, you have a good case and they owe you the money. On the other hand, they sound like a nightmare to deal with and you might still never get your money. | 1 | 13,228 | 2.184211 |
72evwz | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NJ] Neighbors kid sat on my motorcycle without permission. Fell and broke his femur. Am I liable? I park my motorcycle in the parking lot in my designated spot for my complex. I only carry liability insurance on it. Welp. I hear a kid start screaming, go outside, and find a kid pinned under my motorcycle in the riding position. The forks were locked and there was a rear wheel lock on the bike as well. The kids friend tells me they were trying to take a picture on the motorcycle, the one on the bike kicked the kickstand up, and then lost his balance and the bike tipped over crushing his leg under the bike. (bike is a large cruiser) I quickly lifted the bike up and called 911. While waiting for the police I notice a screw driver on the floor and my ignition is completely bashed in. It looks like the kids were trying to start the bike to take for a joyride. The police came, an ambulance came, and the kids parents were no where to be found. Turns out he's 13 and live in my complex. The ambulance takes the kid away. The police took some notes, I explained to them what happened and the kids friend is hysterical crying. Police agree it looks like the kid was trying to take the bike given the damage to the ignition and the screwdriver. After everything was done I had my local insurance come out and look at the bike the next day and theres $1000+ of damage to the bike from the drop and attempted theft. Also, the father calls me the same day saying his son has a broken femur and he's going to sue me unless I pay the medical expenses because they don't have health insurance. I promptly tell him I don't want to communicate with him without an attorney and he comes to my unit and starts bashing my front door with a baseball bat screaming for me to come out. There are marks all over the door, I call the police, they come when the guys gone. They interview me, go to the guys unit, interview him and his wife who deny everything. Cops say they can't do anything because they didn't see it happen (what?!?!?). What the hell do I do here? My liability insurance isn't covering the damage done to my bike, I don't even know where to start with this kids injuries, and now I'm afraid of some guy smashing my face in. So....any advice? | dnidlrp | dnie8z5 | 1,506,385,669 | 1,506,386,461 | 7 | 16 | The evidence and the corroborating police report are strong evidence of being injured while committing a crime. They have little chance of winning if they sue you. | Go to the police and try to file for a restraining order against the husband. You can also try to press charges for harassment and possibly terroristic threats, depending on what he said to you. If you can get a witness, even better. But definitely go down there to the station and make sure the police generate incident reports for the attempted theft and the threat incident as well. Also, complain immediately to your complex's manager or management office. Notify them about the damage to your door as well as the threats. A good, responsible LL will take this seriously and work with you. You are not liable in any way, shape or form for the child's injury, and cannot be sued for something like that. If anything, you would have a cause of action for the damages to your bike if not for the child being a minor. Try your best to avoid another incident by staying away from the parties in question. Also, riding season is almost over, best to put the bike up ASAP or even push it inside your apartment to avoid any possibility of further vandalism or damage to your wheels. | 0 | 792 | 2.285714 |
72evwz | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NJ] Neighbors kid sat on my motorcycle without permission. Fell and broke his femur. Am I liable? I park my motorcycle in the parking lot in my designated spot for my complex. I only carry liability insurance on it. Welp. I hear a kid start screaming, go outside, and find a kid pinned under my motorcycle in the riding position. The forks were locked and there was a rear wheel lock on the bike as well. The kids friend tells me they were trying to take a picture on the motorcycle, the one on the bike kicked the kickstand up, and then lost his balance and the bike tipped over crushing his leg under the bike. (bike is a large cruiser) I quickly lifted the bike up and called 911. While waiting for the police I notice a screw driver on the floor and my ignition is completely bashed in. It looks like the kids were trying to start the bike to take for a joyride. The police came, an ambulance came, and the kids parents were no where to be found. Turns out he's 13 and live in my complex. The ambulance takes the kid away. The police took some notes, I explained to them what happened and the kids friend is hysterical crying. Police agree it looks like the kid was trying to take the bike given the damage to the ignition and the screwdriver. After everything was done I had my local insurance come out and look at the bike the next day and theres $1000+ of damage to the bike from the drop and attempted theft. Also, the father calls me the same day saying his son has a broken femur and he's going to sue me unless I pay the medical expenses because they don't have health insurance. I promptly tell him I don't want to communicate with him without an attorney and he comes to my unit and starts bashing my front door with a baseball bat screaming for me to come out. There are marks all over the door, I call the police, they come when the guys gone. They interview me, go to the guys unit, interview him and his wife who deny everything. Cops say they can't do anything because they didn't see it happen (what?!?!?). What the hell do I do here? My liability insurance isn't covering the damage done to my bike, I don't even know where to start with this kids injuries, and now I'm afraid of some guy smashing my face in. So....any advice? | dnipis0 | dnidlrp | 1,506,401,091 | 1,506,385,669 | 11 | 7 | In addition to the other advice, document the damage to your door and point it out to your landlord. The guy might be a troublemaker in other ways and this might be the final push toward eviction. | The evidence and the corroborating police report are strong evidence of being injured while committing a crime. They have little chance of winning if they sue you. | 1 | 15,422 | 1.571429 |
72evwz | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NJ] Neighbors kid sat on my motorcycle without permission. Fell and broke his femur. Am I liable? I park my motorcycle in the parking lot in my designated spot for my complex. I only carry liability insurance on it. Welp. I hear a kid start screaming, go outside, and find a kid pinned under my motorcycle in the riding position. The forks were locked and there was a rear wheel lock on the bike as well. The kids friend tells me they were trying to take a picture on the motorcycle, the one on the bike kicked the kickstand up, and then lost his balance and the bike tipped over crushing his leg under the bike. (bike is a large cruiser) I quickly lifted the bike up and called 911. While waiting for the police I notice a screw driver on the floor and my ignition is completely bashed in. It looks like the kids were trying to start the bike to take for a joyride. The police came, an ambulance came, and the kids parents were no where to be found. Turns out he's 13 and live in my complex. The ambulance takes the kid away. The police took some notes, I explained to them what happened and the kids friend is hysterical crying. Police agree it looks like the kid was trying to take the bike given the damage to the ignition and the screwdriver. After everything was done I had my local insurance come out and look at the bike the next day and theres $1000+ of damage to the bike from the drop and attempted theft. Also, the father calls me the same day saying his son has a broken femur and he's going to sue me unless I pay the medical expenses because they don't have health insurance. I promptly tell him I don't want to communicate with him without an attorney and he comes to my unit and starts bashing my front door with a baseball bat screaming for me to come out. There are marks all over the door, I call the police, they come when the guys gone. They interview me, go to the guys unit, interview him and his wife who deny everything. Cops say they can't do anything because they didn't see it happen (what?!?!?). What the hell do I do here? My liability insurance isn't covering the damage done to my bike, I don't even know where to start with this kids injuries, and now I'm afraid of some guy smashing my face in. So....any advice? | dnil8ae | dnipis0 | 1,506,394,858 | 1,506,401,091 | 7 | 11 | Once this is settled, if you continue living in this place, park where there is a security camera in the complex or one of your own. The Dad sounds like he might look for revenge. | In addition to the other advice, document the damage to your door and point it out to your landlord. The guy might be a troublemaker in other ways and this might be the final push toward eviction. | 0 | 6,233 | 1.571429 |
crqxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [CA] My car, with a valid placard, was towed from a handicap parking spot. What can I do? I am temporarily disabled, with a red handicap placard valid through the end of the year. I park in a handicap spot at my apartment complex with the placard properly displayed. Last night, the security team had my car towed, with the reason listed as “doesn/t have expiration date???” (punctuated as written.) I’m confident the placard is valid. I got it at AAA (shorter lines than the DMV), and I have the official paperwork. When I picked up my car, the towing company said the placard should have holes punched in it to indicate the expiration date. Mine does not, but the expiration date is clearly noted in the paperwork. Did AAA fuck up when they gave me the placard? The towing cost was expensive, and I will need to park my car in the future without getting towed. What can I do about this, and how can I prevent it from happening again? | ex8m65v | ex8xaif | 1,566,075,001 | 1,566,080,134 | 27 | 110 | you should call AAA and explain the situation to them and get them to put the expiration date on the placard. without an expiration date on the placard, no one knows if it's valid or not, which is why it was towed | 1st call the police and report the illegal tow. If you had a valid placard hanging then they have to right to tow. Placards also have to be verified. They have no idea if the placard is fake or real unless they get the police to ticket. Seems like they failed to follow procedure. No ticket then they can't tow for the placard. Then contact AAA to see if they made a mistake, but I doubt they did. Unfortunately the cops usually wont help you when your car is stolen by a tow company. So you will have to pay and then sue the tow company in small claims to get your money back. It also sucks that local prosecutor will also be lazy and won't charge the tow driver for stealing your car. | 0 | 5,133 | 4.074074 |
n8f8lr | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | California - car towed from complex. Parking permit was valid and displayed in window. Recourse? California Car towed due to “expired permit” but permit was clearly displayed. I took a picture of the windshield with the permit displayed prior to parking and always do when I get a permit from the complex. Called the tow company and they said they towed my vehicle due to an “expired permit”, which is false. What steps do I need to take? Do I owe the tow yard? Ultimately, is the complex responsible? | gxibmci | gxrw3pq | 1,620,576,065 | 1,620,765,744 | 23 | 37 | Your first step would be to get your car out of impound, as others have mentioned, and while you're in the process of that, point-out the tow company's error. If they value the contract, they'll correct it for you on the spot. You're all-but guaranteed that the tow truck driver opened your car, so if your permit was a hang-tag, you may as well assume the driver removed it. Print out the photo you took, and have the digital original handy if possible (assuming it's on your phone) so they can see that you're telling the truth. If the tow company sticks to their guns, take your proof that your permit was current and you were parked in a space you were allowed to use to the property management folks. You have legal recourse against them if you were following their rules to the letter. Moreover, the tow company is under contract with them and operating under their authority, making them ultimately responsible for the tow company's actions on their premises. Sure, you could go directly after the tow company, but that should be your last resort. If there was any error on the part of the property management, such as issuing you the wrong color permit for that week or mis-printing the dates, you probably wouldn't prevail & would have to loop back to the property management anyway. | Given your update in the new post I'd also recommend you get the car inspected at their cost. New driver, who knows what they screwed up. | 0 | 189,679 | 1.608696 |
n8f8lr | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | California - car towed from complex. Parking permit was valid and displayed in window. Recourse? California Car towed due to “expired permit” but permit was clearly displayed. I took a picture of the windshield with the permit displayed prior to parking and always do when I get a permit from the complex. Called the tow company and they said they towed my vehicle due to an “expired permit”, which is false. What steps do I need to take? Do I owe the tow yard? Ultimately, is the complex responsible? | gxrifjn | gxrw3pq | 1,620,760,103 | 1,620,765,744 | 4 | 37 | I really want to follow this. About to deal with something similar. | Given your update in the new post I'd also recommend you get the car inspected at their cost. New driver, who knows what they screwed up. | 0 | 5,641 | 9.25 |
n8f8lr | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | California - car towed from complex. Parking permit was valid and displayed in window. Recourse? California Car towed due to “expired permit” but permit was clearly displayed. I took a picture of the windshield with the permit displayed prior to parking and always do when I get a permit from the complex. Called the tow company and they said they towed my vehicle due to an “expired permit”, which is false. What steps do I need to take? Do I owe the tow yard? Ultimately, is the complex responsible? | gxsm5h2 | gxrifjn | 1,620,777,675 | 1,620,760,103 | 17 | 4 | California requires someone from the complex to sign off in person on any tow. At least, that's what my hoa was told. So this may have been an illegal tow altogether. | I really want to follow this. About to deal with something similar. | 1 | 17,572 | 4.25 |
n8f8lr | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | California - car towed from complex. Parking permit was valid and displayed in window. Recourse? California Car towed due to “expired permit” but permit was clearly displayed. I took a picture of the windshield with the permit displayed prior to parking and always do when I get a permit from the complex. Called the tow company and they said they towed my vehicle due to an “expired permit”, which is false. What steps do I need to take? Do I owe the tow yard? Ultimately, is the complex responsible? | gxt5zxa | gxt27ar | 1,620,787,752 | 1,620,785,775 | 8 | 6 | Update threads are locked, but just a tip, check the vehicle for damages. A new driver might not have towed it properly. Inspect the vehicle throughly (especially the tow points and every tire rim). If there is any scuffage or damage you don't recognize, bring them to small claims court regardless of how nice they were. | Not advice, but a story. A lot of apartments practice predatory collusion with tow companies for profit. Combined between visitors and roommates, our cars got towed 11 times in the course of a semester. $350 a pop for poor college students. Once, during the winter they towed a entire span of 12 cars at once because they were all parked slighlty outside the lines. Keep in mind it had just snowed the night before and NO lines were visible. Things like this should be prosecuted, but based on the google reviews shit like this is still happening 9 years later... | 1 | 1,977 | 1.333333 |
n8f8lr | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | California - car towed from complex. Parking permit was valid and displayed in window. Recourse? California Car towed due to “expired permit” but permit was clearly displayed. I took a picture of the windshield with the permit displayed prior to parking and always do when I get a permit from the complex. Called the tow company and they said they towed my vehicle due to an “expired permit”, which is false. What steps do I need to take? Do I owe the tow yard? Ultimately, is the complex responsible? | gxrifjn | gxt5zxa | 1,620,760,103 | 1,620,787,752 | 4 | 8 | I really want to follow this. About to deal with something similar. | Update threads are locked, but just a tip, check the vehicle for damages. A new driver might not have towed it properly. Inspect the vehicle throughly (especially the tow points and every tire rim). If there is any scuffage or damage you don't recognize, bring them to small claims court regardless of how nice they were. | 0 | 27,649 | 2 |
n8f8lr | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | California - car towed from complex. Parking permit was valid and displayed in window. Recourse? California Car towed due to “expired permit” but permit was clearly displayed. I took a picture of the windshield with the permit displayed prior to parking and always do when I get a permit from the complex. Called the tow company and they said they towed my vehicle due to an “expired permit”, which is false. What steps do I need to take? Do I owe the tow yard? Ultimately, is the complex responsible? | gxt27ar | gxrifjn | 1,620,785,775 | 1,620,760,103 | 6 | 4 | Not advice, but a story. A lot of apartments practice predatory collusion with tow companies for profit. Combined between visitors and roommates, our cars got towed 11 times in the course of a semester. $350 a pop for poor college students. Once, during the winter they towed a entire span of 12 cars at once because they were all parked slighlty outside the lines. Keep in mind it had just snowed the night before and NO lines were visible. Things like this should be prosecuted, but based on the google reviews shit like this is still happening 9 years later... | I really want to follow this. About to deal with something similar. | 1 | 25,672 | 1.5 |
yys0mk | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | Purchased a used car and put down 5k with 4.59% financing. Get a call 3 days later asking for 2 more thousand down payment or financing will be raised to 5.09% All the contracts have already been signed with the original details. The car company is now saying the 5k down payment is "to low" and to either pay 2k more or get raised to 5.09 from 4.59 financing a month. Is this legal? Appreciate all the help, don't want to get screwed over by this car company. | iwvyf3u | iwvx466 | 1,668,800,007 | 1,668,799,466 | 47 | 2 | You'll need to provide your location. But this sounds like spot financing and it's pretty common with car sales - they are able to let you drive the car home while they work on finding a bank for your loan - quite a lot of the hours spent in the financing office is theater. They aren't talking to banks and managers at 7pm on a Wednesday going to bat for you. It's sales tactics to upsell warranties and service plans as they wear you down. Somewhere in your paperwork is probably a clause in fine print explaining they have X days to find a bank at the agreed deal and if not they'll present you with another offer. You can accept the new terms or unwind the deal and return the car. You can also shop for your own loan and use that instead or accept their new terms and pay it off immediately. | Do you have the car? | 1 | 541 | 23.5 |
yys0mk | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | Purchased a used car and put down 5k with 4.59% financing. Get a call 3 days later asking for 2 more thousand down payment or financing will be raised to 5.09% All the contracts have already been signed with the original details. The car company is now saying the 5k down payment is "to low" and to either pay 2k more or get raised to 5.09 from 4.59 financing a month. Is this legal? Appreciate all the help, don't want to get screwed over by this car company. | iwvx466 | iwy1a0p | 1,668,799,466 | 1,668,836,155 | 2 | 4 | Do you have the car? | Listen to Automatic-degree! You don’t have to agree to a new contract or finance rate. Call your local CA DMV Investigations office if you want more information. They are scattered throughout the state. https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/locations/investigations-offices/ | 0 | 36,689 | 2 |
h0pjuc | legaladvice_train | 0.8 | My parents gave me house down payment as gift money. House title has my dad, my wife, and my name on it. How do we make sure when the house is sold, my parents can keep the down money and my wife and I keep the sale profit (minus the down money). Only my wife and I make mortgage payments. We don't want to keep the down money and my parents don't want the sale profit from house value. Any legal action we can make so we can have a piece of mind about it. Thank you! | fton2px | ftno37n | 1,591,873,601 | 1,591,844,666 | 9 | 4 | Yeah... your parents didn't give you a gift. They bought themselves a house with you. | Who is listed on title and who is listed on the mortgage and note are two separate things. If they are not listed on the mortgage you can take them off of title by doing another deed. If they are on the mortgage than yes you will have to refinance to remove them. As stated in post before a gift is supposed to be a gift not a loan. Was the intention that they give you down payment money in exchange for a portion of the proceeds when you sale the property? And yes that is mortgage fraud. Not trying to be a sour puss, but no one should be buying a home if they cannot afford the down payment, closing cost and mortgage payments. I have seen sooo many issues when there are several borrowers on a home because the income or credit is needed. A note and mortgage are legal binding contracts and they don’t just dissolve because you break up or have a disagreement. | 1 | 28,935 | 2.25 |
h0pjuc | legaladvice_train | 0.8 | My parents gave me house down payment as gift money. House title has my dad, my wife, and my name on it. How do we make sure when the house is sold, my parents can keep the down money and my wife and I keep the sale profit (minus the down money). Only my wife and I make mortgage payments. We don't want to keep the down money and my parents don't want the sale profit from house value. Any legal action we can make so we can have a piece of mind about it. Thank you! | fton2px | ftoc3m3 | 1,591,873,601 | 1,591,862,959 | 9 | 5 | Yeah... your parents didn't give you a gift. They bought themselves a house with you. | OP, you need to be careful. When people usually describe this situation as a "gift", it's usually a situation where the money was actually loaned by the parents with the expectation of being paid back... But no one tells the bank and represents the situation as if the money doesn't have any strings attached. That is illegal. But in your case your father is on the title, and presumably the mortgage (I find it unlikely the bank would issue you and your wife a loan and allow you to take on a partner on the title without their liability for the loan). How long have you owned the home? Has it gained enough equity to cover his investment? If not, you are stuck with your dad as a partner at least until it gains enough equity (or you can buy him out). As someone else suggested, place the home in a trust with instructions for how to deal with a sale or death. However, if your father has liabilities, they can come after his portion of the home. BUT if there is enough equity, you could possibly refinance and cash out his portion, and pay him out. This will raise your mortgage. But it will allow you to pay out your parents and remove them from the loan and the title. After that point, if they still want to loan you the money to offset the mortgage payments, you should speak to a lawyer. It's probably OK, as the bank would be paid ahead of your parents, but this is beyond my pay grade. | 1 | 10,642 | 1.8 |
h0pjuc | legaladvice_train | 0.8 | My parents gave me house down payment as gift money. House title has my dad, my wife, and my name on it. How do we make sure when the house is sold, my parents can keep the down money and my wife and I keep the sale profit (minus the down money). Only my wife and I make mortgage payments. We don't want to keep the down money and my parents don't want the sale profit from house value. Any legal action we can make so we can have a piece of mind about it. Thank you! | ftno37n | ftoc3m3 | 1,591,844,666 | 1,591,862,959 | 4 | 5 | Who is listed on title and who is listed on the mortgage and note are two separate things. If they are not listed on the mortgage you can take them off of title by doing another deed. If they are on the mortgage than yes you will have to refinance to remove them. As stated in post before a gift is supposed to be a gift not a loan. Was the intention that they give you down payment money in exchange for a portion of the proceeds when you sale the property? And yes that is mortgage fraud. Not trying to be a sour puss, but no one should be buying a home if they cannot afford the down payment, closing cost and mortgage payments. I have seen sooo many issues when there are several borrowers on a home because the income or credit is needed. A note and mortgage are legal binding contracts and they don’t just dissolve because you break up or have a disagreement. | OP, you need to be careful. When people usually describe this situation as a "gift", it's usually a situation where the money was actually loaned by the parents with the expectation of being paid back... But no one tells the bank and represents the situation as if the money doesn't have any strings attached. That is illegal. But in your case your father is on the title, and presumably the mortgage (I find it unlikely the bank would issue you and your wife a loan and allow you to take on a partner on the title without their liability for the loan). How long have you owned the home? Has it gained enough equity to cover his investment? If not, you are stuck with your dad as a partner at least until it gains enough equity (or you can buy him out). As someone else suggested, place the home in a trust with instructions for how to deal with a sale or death. However, if your father has liabilities, they can come after his portion of the home. BUT if there is enough equity, you could possibly refinance and cash out his portion, and pay him out. This will raise your mortgage. But it will allow you to pay out your parents and remove them from the loan and the title. After that point, if they still want to loan you the money to offset the mortgage payments, you should speak to a lawyer. It's probably OK, as the bank would be paid ahead of your parents, but this is beyond my pay grade. | 0 | 18,293 | 1.25 |
zsp5cd | legaladvice_train | 0.86 | Is it Legal for my Office to ask me to respond to emails while I'm at jury duty? So I was called into mandatory Jury Duty (New York City) and while there, I didn't check my work emails or Teams chat etc. I heard from the grapevine that my manager was "concerned" that I wasn't checking in. Is it legal for an employer to ask their employee to work while at Jury Duty? | j1a4apk | j1a941m | 1,671,739,317 | 1,671,741,216 | 28 | 60 | While your job doesn't have to pay you, they do have to allow you the time off to serve jury duty, by law. Since you had that time off, with no expectation of working, I imagine it would be under the same guidelines your company has for responding to email/teams on your days off. You might want to consult your company handbook to see what it says about Jury duty in particular and responding to work issues on time off in general so you're informed, and then maybe send an email (so you have a record of it) clarifying your understanding with your manager/hr under the notion of "Hi, I thought I understood the jury duty policy to be <whatever> based on what the handbook said, but I'm hearing things counter to that and wanted to clarify so I understand for the future. Can you help me understand?". | Tell the judge that your employer is upset that your not working while on jury duty. They might call your manager in for a chat. | 0 | 1,899 | 2.142857 |
y9voni | legaladvice_train | 0.84 | My friend thinks her ex-husband could be trying to sabotage her disability benefits (Alabama) My friend is on disability for an autoimmune disease. She has trouble with mobility and has a lot of pain. But sometimes she has good days where she might be able to go to a store or something, although she can’t carry heavy bags. If she does something like that, she’ll pay for it the next couple days. She just finalized her divorce last week. Her ex-husband has been acting unhinged through the whole process. For instance, she found out he just took out a life insurance policy on her without her permission, which made her scared for her safety. He’s a cop, so he has ways to get away with things. Yesterday she was at a store because she was having a good day pain-wise, and she caught someone following her and taking pictures. She thinks her ex-husband could be trying to sabotage her disability benefits by taking pics of her being out and about. She could have one good day a month and be incapacitated for the rest, but a pic of her out doing things could lead the SSA to think she’s not disabled. Is it possible to sabotage her disability in this way, like by sending them pictures? If so, is there anything she can do about it? Thanks for any help you can give. Edit: changed husband to ex-husband | it9c1e0 | it948g8 | 1,666,389,054 | 1,666,385,735 | 17 | 6 | Not a lawyer, know a little bit about disability. Your friend should be keeping a daily log of activities and pain and such, every single day. This allows her to record things like,Monday, grocery shopping. Tuesday, recovery day, was unable to shower or cook due to pain and fatigue. Wednesday, able to shower and cook, still had extreme fatigue. Thursday, used all energy to go to doctor. Friday, recovery day. Something like that. I use spreadsheet with checkboxes for the level of pain, level of fatigue and the location of the pain. I also list all meds taken that day and what treatments and activities I did. It is part of my defense should my LTD insurance try to pull the payouts (they want to evaluate every few months to deny benefits). | I don't know of good, local organizations. But I strongly recommend your friend reaches out to an organization which helps victims of domestic violence. You do not need to be a victim of physical violence for them to help you. | 1 | 3,319 | 2.833333 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4ayc0c | h4aq3eb | 1,625,620,369 | 1,625,616,017 | 135 | 29 | DO NOT SPEAK TO THEM AGAIN. This is why you have insurance. They are great trying to scare you. They can sue you for whatever they wan, it doesn't mean they're going to get it. Only deal directly with your own insurance. If they contact you again tell them to talk to you insurance and then block them. Stay strong, it can be stressful but this is what insurance is for. | It's a huge pain for PI lawyers to go after someone's personal assets, and very rarely worthwhile. No insight into your particular situation (and also, it sounds like a work injury), but I doubt you have anything to worry about. | 1 | 4,352 | 4.655172 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4aq3eb | h4comwq | 1,625,616,017 | 1,625,664,914 | 29 | 90 | It's a huge pain for PI lawyers to go after someone's personal assets, and very rarely worthwhile. No insight into your particular situation (and also, it sounds like a work injury), but I doubt you have anything to worry about. | If they were injured on the job and are personally going after you then their WC claim was denied or was a very small payout indeed. Which means they aren't getting bumpkus from your insurer either because their claim is crap. | 0 | 48,897 | 3.103448 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4c4hnx | h4comwq | 1,625,649,911 | 1,625,664,914 | 15 | 90 | Look at your house folio to see if the area is part of your property. It may be an issue for your city, but the city already told the person to go point sand, so they're now trying to scare you into settling a lower amount. | If they were injured on the job and are personally going after you then their WC claim was denied or was a very small payout indeed. Which means they aren't getting bumpkus from your insurer either because their claim is crap. | 0 | 15,003 | 6 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4cpww7 | h4aq3eb | 1,625,665,575 | 1,625,616,017 | 67 | 29 | It was either your property or it wasn't. Attorneys have been known to sue the wrong landowner, or, when there's uncertainty, sue multiple landowners and let them hash out who owned the property where the accident happened. If you think it might nt have been yours, let your insurer know that. Don't communicate any further with the lawyers for the injured party or anyone working on their behalf unless the insurance company's lawyer tells you to do that. | It's a huge pain for PI lawyers to go after someone's personal assets, and very rarely worthwhile. No insight into your particular situation (and also, it sounds like a work injury), but I doubt you have anything to worry about. | 1 | 49,558 | 2.310345 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4cpww7 | h4c4hnx | 1,625,665,575 | 1,625,649,911 | 67 | 15 | It was either your property or it wasn't. Attorneys have been known to sue the wrong landowner, or, when there's uncertainty, sue multiple landowners and let them hash out who owned the property where the accident happened. If you think it might nt have been yours, let your insurer know that. Don't communicate any further with the lawyers for the injured party or anyone working on their behalf unless the insurance company's lawyer tells you to do that. | Look at your house folio to see if the area is part of your property. It may be an issue for your city, but the city already told the person to go point sand, so they're now trying to scare you into settling a lower amount. | 1 | 15,664 | 4.466667 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4c4hnx | h4dv3vl | 1,625,649,911 | 1,625,683,985 | 15 | 29 | Look at your house folio to see if the area is part of your property. It may be an issue for your city, but the city already told the person to go point sand, so they're now trying to scare you into settling a lower amount. | Don’t talk to them. Let them pursue you. You’re making it easy by doing the paperwork for them and sending them your personal info. Let them figure out if they’re suing the right person. But regardless your insurance will fight it for you and if by some crazy chance the person wins money, it’s unlikely to be more than your insurance limit because that would lead it to going to court and neither lawyers nor people suing want that because they can go from a settlement to no money, and it could take years vs immediate payout. Don’t stress on it. Someone tried to sue me for have a Mil for a fender bender, they got stopped at my insurances maximum. I sued a major company for actually harming me and it was on camera, and still settled per my lawyers advice to avoid years of court. No one wants to go to court and their own lawyer will likely stop before that. Lawyer prob gets paid when they get paid which means they’ll want it now. And all of this is if they even have proof that it happened, proof that it was where it happened, proof that it’s your property, proof that it’s your fault, proof that they didn’t put the metal there. Do they have any proof at all from years ago? Unlikely lol | 0 | 34,074 | 1.933333 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4cvtvr | h4dv3vl | 1,625,668,400 | 1,625,683,985 | 9 | 29 | The city’s usually own a good section of land so your property probably starts on the other side of the side wall and then that’s the city’s problem | Don’t talk to them. Let them pursue you. You’re making it easy by doing the paperwork for them and sending them your personal info. Let them figure out if they’re suing the right person. But regardless your insurance will fight it for you and if by some crazy chance the person wins money, it’s unlikely to be more than your insurance limit because that would lead it to going to court and neither lawyers nor people suing want that because they can go from a settlement to no money, and it could take years vs immediate payout. Don’t stress on it. Someone tried to sue me for have a Mil for a fender bender, they got stopped at my insurances maximum. I sued a major company for actually harming me and it was on camera, and still settled per my lawyers advice to avoid years of court. No one wants to go to court and their own lawyer will likely stop before that. Lawyer prob gets paid when they get paid which means they’ll want it now. And all of this is if they even have proof that it happened, proof that it was where it happened, proof that it’s your property, proof that it’s your fault, proof that they didn’t put the metal there. Do they have any proof at all from years ago? Unlikely lol | 0 | 15,585 | 3.222222 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4dv3vl | h4d880z | 1,625,683,985 | 1,625,673,948 | 29 | 8 | Don’t talk to them. Let them pursue you. You’re making it easy by doing the paperwork for them and sending them your personal info. Let them figure out if they’re suing the right person. But regardless your insurance will fight it for you and if by some crazy chance the person wins money, it’s unlikely to be more than your insurance limit because that would lead it to going to court and neither lawyers nor people suing want that because they can go from a settlement to no money, and it could take years vs immediate payout. Don’t stress on it. Someone tried to sue me for have a Mil for a fender bender, they got stopped at my insurances maximum. I sued a major company for actually harming me and it was on camera, and still settled per my lawyers advice to avoid years of court. No one wants to go to court and their own lawyer will likely stop before that. Lawyer prob gets paid when they get paid which means they’ll want it now. And all of this is if they even have proof that it happened, proof that it was where it happened, proof that it’s your property, proof that it’s your fault, proof that they didn’t put the metal there. Do they have any proof at all from years ago? Unlikely lol | What was it that they actually tripped over? Was it your water stand pipe? Or just a piece of random metal in the ground? | 1 | 10,037 | 3.625 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4d36gl | h4dv3vl | 1,625,671,749 | 1,625,683,985 | 8 | 29 | Was this a letter that came in the regular mail, or were you served with papers? Is this the first time you've ever heard about the alleged incident? From your description, it sounds like you were sent a "demand letter." Such a letter is designed to intimidate and demand something. But it's only a letter, not a lawsuit, no matter what it threatened. Escalating to an actual lawsuit takes time and money. I'd find out if there is a case filed with the appropriate local court. That should be accessible on the court's website. Or perhaps you can ask your ins co if there's any lawsuit/evidence/findings regarding the incident. 2 years is a fairly long time but how long they can sue and what they may recover will depend on your location - did I miss where you are? In any case, try to calm down until you have more information. It sounds like the letter accomplished its' purpose of upsetting you, but it can be helpful to understand it's only a letter, at this point, if in fact you haven't yet been served/sued. | Don’t talk to them. Let them pursue you. You’re making it easy by doing the paperwork for them and sending them your personal info. Let them figure out if they’re suing the right person. But regardless your insurance will fight it for you and if by some crazy chance the person wins money, it’s unlikely to be more than your insurance limit because that would lead it to going to court and neither lawyers nor people suing want that because they can go from a settlement to no money, and it could take years vs immediate payout. Don’t stress on it. Someone tried to sue me for have a Mil for a fender bender, they got stopped at my insurances maximum. I sued a major company for actually harming me and it was on camera, and still settled per my lawyers advice to avoid years of court. No one wants to go to court and their own lawyer will likely stop before that. Lawyer prob gets paid when they get paid which means they’ll want it now. And all of this is if they even have proof that it happened, proof that it was where it happened, proof that it’s your property, proof that it’s your fault, proof that they didn’t put the metal there. Do they have any proof at all from years ago? Unlikely lol | 0 | 12,236 | 3.625 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4cz2bx | h4dv3vl | 1,625,669,890 | 1,625,683,985 | 5 | 29 | If they plan on suing you personally I'd consult a bankruptcy attorney after the case has been settled and you owe them money you do not have. I am not a lawyer so please consult one and make sure you do this in the right order. I was in a similar situation, my insurance capped out and they went after me. Bankruptcy solved that problem. | Don’t talk to them. Let them pursue you. You’re making it easy by doing the paperwork for them and sending them your personal info. Let them figure out if they’re suing the right person. But regardless your insurance will fight it for you and if by some crazy chance the person wins money, it’s unlikely to be more than your insurance limit because that would lead it to going to court and neither lawyers nor people suing want that because they can go from a settlement to no money, and it could take years vs immediate payout. Don’t stress on it. Someone tried to sue me for have a Mil for a fender bender, they got stopped at my insurances maximum. I sued a major company for actually harming me and it was on camera, and still settled per my lawyers advice to avoid years of court. No one wants to go to court and their own lawyer will likely stop before that. Lawyer prob gets paid when they get paid which means they’ll want it now. And all of this is if they even have proof that it happened, proof that it was where it happened, proof that it’s your property, proof that it’s your fault, proof that they didn’t put the metal there. Do they have any proof at all from years ago? Unlikely lol | 0 | 14,095 | 5.8 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4d8uy1 | h4dv3vl | 1,625,674,229 | 1,625,683,985 | 3 | 29 | What state if you dont mind me asking? | Don’t talk to them. Let them pursue you. You’re making it easy by doing the paperwork for them and sending them your personal info. Let them figure out if they’re suing the right person. But regardless your insurance will fight it for you and if by some crazy chance the person wins money, it’s unlikely to be more than your insurance limit because that would lead it to going to court and neither lawyers nor people suing want that because they can go from a settlement to no money, and it could take years vs immediate payout. Don’t stress on it. Someone tried to sue me for have a Mil for a fender bender, they got stopped at my insurances maximum. I sued a major company for actually harming me and it was on camera, and still settled per my lawyers advice to avoid years of court. No one wants to go to court and their own lawyer will likely stop before that. Lawyer prob gets paid when they get paid which means they’ll want it now. And all of this is if they even have proof that it happened, proof that it was where it happened, proof that it’s your property, proof that it’s your fault, proof that they didn’t put the metal there. Do they have any proof at all from years ago? Unlikely lol | 0 | 9,756 | 9.666667 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4d880z | h4cz2bx | 1,625,673,948 | 1,625,669,890 | 8 | 5 | What was it that they actually tripped over? Was it your water stand pipe? Or just a piece of random metal in the ground? | If they plan on suing you personally I'd consult a bankruptcy attorney after the case has been settled and you owe them money you do not have. I am not a lawyer so please consult one and make sure you do this in the right order. I was in a similar situation, my insurance capped out and they went after me. Bankruptcy solved that problem. | 1 | 4,058 | 1.6 |
of3r0e | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | Someone tripped in my front yard and they want a lot. Hey there, Im getting sued for 100 grand or more. I recieved a nasty letter that two years ago someone tripped due to a protruding piece of metal in the rocks in between my sidewalk and the street out front my house (Sounds like in my city that is considered your property). This person was working for century link which wasn't on my behalf, plus I don't use century link. Now they are claiming I need to pay for all their lost wages and the medical expenses. I called my home insurance and filed a claim followed by providing the law firm suing me the claim details. It sounded like if my insurance doesn't cover all the money they are planning on suing me personally, I don't have a job right now since I'm in school full time and am pretty scared about what this might mean for me and my wife's future. Can someone with some insight on this situation help me think this through and what to expect? | h4d36gl | h4cz2bx | 1,625,671,749 | 1,625,669,890 | 8 | 5 | Was this a letter that came in the regular mail, or were you served with papers? Is this the first time you've ever heard about the alleged incident? From your description, it sounds like you were sent a "demand letter." Such a letter is designed to intimidate and demand something. But it's only a letter, not a lawsuit, no matter what it threatened. Escalating to an actual lawsuit takes time and money. I'd find out if there is a case filed with the appropriate local court. That should be accessible on the court's website. Or perhaps you can ask your ins co if there's any lawsuit/evidence/findings regarding the incident. 2 years is a fairly long time but how long they can sue and what they may recover will depend on your location - did I miss where you are? In any case, try to calm down until you have more information. It sounds like the letter accomplished its' purpose of upsetting you, but it can be helpful to understand it's only a letter, at this point, if in fact you haven't yet been served/sued. | If they plan on suing you personally I'd consult a bankruptcy attorney after the case has been settled and you owe them money you do not have. I am not a lawyer so please consult one and make sure you do this in the right order. I was in a similar situation, my insurance capped out and they went after me. Bankruptcy solved that problem. | 1 | 1,859 | 1.6 |
yxu6vh | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | MA] A vacation company folded after I paid $3000 for a trip. No longer responding to my requests for a refund. 9 months ago I purchased a $3000 vacation through the now defunct Pollen. [The company Pollen is shaping up to be a more expensive Fyre fiasco. With this company being in "administration" and formerly based in the UK, do I have any recourse here? I foolishly purchased this straight through my debit card, so I don't think I can do chargebacks. Usually I am better at researching these sorts of issues, however with the stress this is all causing and having to focus on work, I'm at a complete loss. The company no longer responds to emails, and the website is completely dead. | iwse735 | iwsdnd0 | 1,668,730,089 | 1,668,729,838 | 124 | 11 | Look at your debit card. Does it have a visa or Mastercard logo on it? If so, you may have purchase protection **through Visa or Mastercard** even though it is a debit card. The time since your purchase is longer than the deadline for purchase protection refunds but you may be able to successfully argue that this was not a purchase made 9 months ago for $3000 but a deposit for service not delivered. It’s worth calling them and asking. Remember, you are not calling your bank for this (although you should also pursue this through your bank) but Visa Purchase Protection or Mastercard Purchase Protection. | Never use debit cards for anything other than ATM withdrawals. | 1 | 251 | 11.272727 |
yxu6vh | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | MA] A vacation company folded after I paid $3000 for a trip. No longer responding to my requests for a refund. 9 months ago I purchased a $3000 vacation through the now defunct Pollen. [The company Pollen is shaping up to be a more expensive Fyre fiasco. With this company being in "administration" and formerly based in the UK, do I have any recourse here? I foolishly purchased this straight through my debit card, so I don't think I can do chargebacks. Usually I am better at researching these sorts of issues, however with the stress this is all causing and having to focus on work, I'm at a complete loss. The company no longer responds to emails, and the website is completely dead. | iwsdnd0 | iwtt2tn | 1,668,729,838 | 1,668,758,924 | 11 | 14 | Never use debit cards for anything other than ATM withdrawals. | Not a lawyer: but I do process charge backs for a living and I’ll also put this here. Depending on the card network (Visa and Amex for sure) you can file a charge back up to 540 days after the transaction. File a chargeback with your financial institution and let them know that services will not be rendered at a future date and it it still be within all timeframes for a claim. Using Visa and an example, you have 120 days from the expected date of receipt of merchandise/services to file a claim that can be filed before the merchandise/services are rendered if you receive notice that the merchant will not be providing the future services (ie closed their doors, bankruptcy) Bankrupt merchants are very easy claims to win in the Visa network. While a credit does take longer to come back to your account with debit cards be credit cards the chargeback rules are the same in the networks. Source: I process chargebacks for Visa/Amex/Mastercard for a living. | 0 | 29,086 | 1.272727 |
yxu6vh | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | MA] A vacation company folded after I paid $3000 for a trip. No longer responding to my requests for a refund. 9 months ago I purchased a $3000 vacation through the now defunct Pollen. [The company Pollen is shaping up to be a more expensive Fyre fiasco. With this company being in "administration" and formerly based in the UK, do I have any recourse here? I foolishly purchased this straight through my debit card, so I don't think I can do chargebacks. Usually I am better at researching these sorts of issues, however with the stress this is all causing and having to focus on work, I'm at a complete loss. The company no longer responds to emails, and the website is completely dead. | iwtt2tn | iwt1gnd | 1,668,758,924 | 1,668,741,138 | 14 | 5 | Not a lawyer: but I do process charge backs for a living and I’ll also put this here. Depending on the card network (Visa and Amex for sure) you can file a charge back up to 540 days after the transaction. File a chargeback with your financial institution and let them know that services will not be rendered at a future date and it it still be within all timeframes for a claim. Using Visa and an example, you have 120 days from the expected date of receipt of merchandise/services to file a claim that can be filed before the merchandise/services are rendered if you receive notice that the merchant will not be providing the future services (ie closed their doors, bankruptcy) Bankrupt merchants are very easy claims to win in the Visa network. While a credit does take longer to come back to your account with debit cards be credit cards the chargeback rules are the same in the networks. Source: I process chargebacks for Visa/Amex/Mastercard for a living. | If it was UK based it might have been a member of ATOL or ABTA they offer protection to customers of collapsed holiday firms. Google those terms and info shud pop up. Good luck. | 1 | 17,786 | 2.8 |
hbfm27 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Cut my self at work, I needed stitches. Company told me to make a workman’s comp claim. The next day my boss said he would pay half of the bill. So now I owe 300$ if I would have just used my insurance I would have only had to pay 25$ I’m in Iowa, the headline pretty much sums it up. I’m in construction, I cut myself with my razor knife by accident. I called my HR, she told me to go to the urgent care of my choosing. I was told to tell the doctor it happened at work. I had to go into the office the next morning to fill out a accident report. Then the bill came in the mail to my house. I was told bring the bill into the office. Then my boss called the doctors office and paid half the bill over the phone. Now I have to pay the other 300$. If I would have just left work and not told anybody anything and gone to the doc it would have only been a 25$ co pay. Is this the way workmans comp is supposed to work, I’ve never done this before? | fv8k7s3 | fv90qn7 | 1,592,492,083 | 1,592,500,291 | 61 | 70 | It's a mess - however, nothing you have done so far legally prevents you from going back and starting a claim with your insurance company. It's not too late and it won't be late to switch gears and do that. Try to resolve it the way it goes (mentioning worker's comp to the doctor's office, awaiting responses from your HR etc.). If things got stuck and move nowhere after the next 2-3 weeks, inform your insurance company and initiate a process of re-billing charges to your insurance and reversing everything. | Contact HR. You have a workplace injury. The company can choose to pay the entire bill to avoid it hitting their WC policy, or you can push the issue to have their carrier pay it. Did you fill out an accident report at the time the accident occurred? If not, ask why you were not provided the documents to fill out for the accident report. Worker's Comp should pay the entire bill, unless the company decides to just pay it. You should not have to pay $300 out of pocket | 0 | 8,208 | 1.147541 |
hbfm27 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Cut my self at work, I needed stitches. Company told me to make a workman’s comp claim. The next day my boss said he would pay half of the bill. So now I owe 300$ if I would have just used my insurance I would have only had to pay 25$ I’m in Iowa, the headline pretty much sums it up. I’m in construction, I cut myself with my razor knife by accident. I called my HR, she told me to go to the urgent care of my choosing. I was told to tell the doctor it happened at work. I had to go into the office the next morning to fill out a accident report. Then the bill came in the mail to my house. I was told bring the bill into the office. Then my boss called the doctors office and paid half the bill over the phone. Now I have to pay the other 300$. If I would have just left work and not told anybody anything and gone to the doc it would have only been a 25$ co pay. Is this the way workmans comp is supposed to work, I’ve never done this before? | fv90qn7 | fv8vp9g | 1,592,500,291 | 1,592,497,855 | 70 | 15 | Contact HR. You have a workplace injury. The company can choose to pay the entire bill to avoid it hitting their WC policy, or you can push the issue to have their carrier pay it. Did you fill out an accident report at the time the accident occurred? If not, ask why you were not provided the documents to fill out for the accident report. Worker's Comp should pay the entire bill, unless the company decides to just pay it. You should not have to pay $300 out of pocket | I do worker’s compensation, but not in your state, so I’m not sure of your states exact rules, and I’m not your lawyer. In my experience they take about a week or so to set up the actual claim. A worker’s comp insurance adjuster should be contacting you, and you should give them the bill and they’ll pay it. It may be possible your job is self-insured, meaning that they don’t pay an insurance company but have provided proof to the state that they have a certain amount of money available to cover injuries (if it’s a construction company I doubt this is the case since this usually happens for big companies like Walmart). If that is the case with your job, that’s where I’d anticipate things might get weird with your boss paying half the bill and you should get a lawyer. Assuming that your job is not self-insured, in your situation I’d probably call HR and make sure they set up a claim and see if they have the claim number and an adjuster for you to call. If HR hadn’t set up a claim because of some action your boss took tell them you need it set up and ask them to provide you the claim number and adjusters information once they have it. It’s important to set up the claim in case you need any further medical treatment, and in a lot of states you have a reporting requirement of one month. Once you have someone to speak to give them the bill and make sure you’re thorough about your injury and what hurts. | 1 | 2,436 | 4.666667 |
hbfm27 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Cut my self at work, I needed stitches. Company told me to make a workman’s comp claim. The next day my boss said he would pay half of the bill. So now I owe 300$ if I would have just used my insurance I would have only had to pay 25$ I’m in Iowa, the headline pretty much sums it up. I’m in construction, I cut myself with my razor knife by accident. I called my HR, she told me to go to the urgent care of my choosing. I was told to tell the doctor it happened at work. I had to go into the office the next morning to fill out a accident report. Then the bill came in the mail to my house. I was told bring the bill into the office. Then my boss called the doctors office and paid half the bill over the phone. Now I have to pay the other 300$. If I would have just left work and not told anybody anything and gone to the doc it would have only been a 25$ co pay. Is this the way workmans comp is supposed to work, I’ve never done this before? | fv8vp9g | fv94n64 | 1,592,497,855 | 1,592,502,156 | 15 | 52 | I do worker’s compensation, but not in your state, so I’m not sure of your states exact rules, and I’m not your lawyer. In my experience they take about a week or so to set up the actual claim. A worker’s comp insurance adjuster should be contacting you, and you should give them the bill and they’ll pay it. It may be possible your job is self-insured, meaning that they don’t pay an insurance company but have provided proof to the state that they have a certain amount of money available to cover injuries (if it’s a construction company I doubt this is the case since this usually happens for big companies like Walmart). If that is the case with your job, that’s where I’d anticipate things might get weird with your boss paying half the bill and you should get a lawyer. Assuming that your job is not self-insured, in your situation I’d probably call HR and make sure they set up a claim and see if they have the claim number and an adjuster for you to call. If HR hadn’t set up a claim because of some action your boss took tell them you need it set up and ask them to provide you the claim number and adjusters information once they have it. It’s important to set up the claim in case you need any further medical treatment, and in a lot of states you have a reporting requirement of one month. Once you have someone to speak to give them the bill and make sure you’re thorough about your injury and what hurts. | Put the brakes on, back up, you shouldn't be paying anything. File a workers comp claim with HR if you get any bill from the doctor's office. You should not have to pay anything. Your boss is trying to act like the magnanimous nice guy Hy paying half the bill but he is responsible for all of it one way or the other. Either they have to pay the office direct to avoid raising their accident rate/year ratio or they have to send it up to workman's comp. Don't even pay $25, tell the doctor's office this is a workman's comp issue. If you see another bill bring it to the labor board. | 0 | 4,301 | 3.466667 |
hbfm27 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Cut my self at work, I needed stitches. Company told me to make a workman’s comp claim. The next day my boss said he would pay half of the bill. So now I owe 300$ if I would have just used my insurance I would have only had to pay 25$ I’m in Iowa, the headline pretty much sums it up. I’m in construction, I cut myself with my razor knife by accident. I called my HR, she told me to go to the urgent care of my choosing. I was told to tell the doctor it happened at work. I had to go into the office the next morning to fill out a accident report. Then the bill came in the mail to my house. I was told bring the bill into the office. Then my boss called the doctors office and paid half the bill over the phone. Now I have to pay the other 300$. If I would have just left work and not told anybody anything and gone to the doc it would have only been a 25$ co pay. Is this the way workmans comp is supposed to work, I’ve never done this before? | fvanll6 | fv96t0z | 1,592,532,073 | 1,592,503,191 | 6 | 3 | I am an Iowa attorney and my practice is 80% workers’ compensation. Your employer is responsible for 100% of the cost of medical care made necessary by your injury *as long as they selected the doctor who provided the care*. What is happening here is that your employer does not want to turn the claim over to its workers’ compensation carrier. This is a common shenanigan. Generally, the fact that they told you to go to whatever doctor you wanted is sufficient to make the urgent care an authorized provider. That said, work comp carriers are fuckers and will try to get out of paying for whatever they can. This makes it even more important that you get this turned over to the carrier and find out which physician you are authorized to see (if you need further medical care). You need to first politely insist that they turn the claim over to the carrier. If they won’t, tell them you’re going to get an attorney. If they still won’t get an attorney. Even if your employer offers to pay the full bill you should *still* make sure this gets turned over to the WC carrier. I had a guy once who had a minor laceration turn into a severely disabling injury due to an infection, you have no idea as you sit here today whether this could end up being more severe than it seems right now. The Iowa Association for Justice is a good resource if you need to find a WC attorney in your area. | if he paid half the bill on the phone then i really doubt he is going through workers comp because that just would happen. They may be trying to keep it off the books because workers comp is very expensive for companies and having a claim will end up costing them a higher premium. if they had filed a workers comp claim you will never see a bill for anything everything is run through the rep of the company that owns your works comp insurance. | 1 | 28,882 | 2 |
hbfm27 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Cut my self at work, I needed stitches. Company told me to make a workman’s comp claim. The next day my boss said he would pay half of the bill. So now I owe 300$ if I would have just used my insurance I would have only had to pay 25$ I’m in Iowa, the headline pretty much sums it up. I’m in construction, I cut myself with my razor knife by accident. I called my HR, she told me to go to the urgent care of my choosing. I was told to tell the doctor it happened at work. I had to go into the office the next morning to fill out a accident report. Then the bill came in the mail to my house. I was told bring the bill into the office. Then my boss called the doctors office and paid half the bill over the phone. Now I have to pay the other 300$. If I would have just left work and not told anybody anything and gone to the doc it would have only been a 25$ co pay. Is this the way workmans comp is supposed to work, I’ve never done this before? | fv9q6or | fvanll6 | 1,592,513,510 | 1,592,532,073 | 3 | 6 | Comp should pay the entire bill, not your boss and definitely NOT you. If your boss is paying half, there's an open question if he has comp insurance. The whole point of workman's comp is to eliminate the need to sue for medical care over workplace injuries - the insurance policy covers it entirely. You get immediate treatment at no cost directly to you, your employer doesn't get sued. That's the whole thing. I would demand full payment and if they won't, consult with an attorney. | I am an Iowa attorney and my practice is 80% workers’ compensation. Your employer is responsible for 100% of the cost of medical care made necessary by your injury *as long as they selected the doctor who provided the care*. What is happening here is that your employer does not want to turn the claim over to its workers’ compensation carrier. This is a common shenanigan. Generally, the fact that they told you to go to whatever doctor you wanted is sufficient to make the urgent care an authorized provider. That said, work comp carriers are fuckers and will try to get out of paying for whatever they can. This makes it even more important that you get this turned over to the carrier and find out which physician you are authorized to see (if you need further medical care). You need to first politely insist that they turn the claim over to the carrier. If they won’t, tell them you’re going to get an attorney. If they still won’t get an attorney. Even if your employer offers to pay the full bill you should *still* make sure this gets turned over to the WC carrier. I had a guy once who had a minor laceration turn into a severely disabling injury due to an infection, you have no idea as you sit here today whether this could end up being more severe than it seems right now. The Iowa Association for Justice is a good resource if you need to find a WC attorney in your area. | 0 | 18,563 | 2 |
hbfm27 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Cut my self at work, I needed stitches. Company told me to make a workman’s comp claim. The next day my boss said he would pay half of the bill. So now I owe 300$ if I would have just used my insurance I would have only had to pay 25$ I’m in Iowa, the headline pretty much sums it up. I’m in construction, I cut myself with my razor knife by accident. I called my HR, she told me to go to the urgent care of my choosing. I was told to tell the doctor it happened at work. I had to go into the office the next morning to fill out a accident report. Then the bill came in the mail to my house. I was told bring the bill into the office. Then my boss called the doctors office and paid half the bill over the phone. Now I have to pay the other 300$. If I would have just left work and not told anybody anything and gone to the doc it would have only been a 25$ co pay. Is this the way workmans comp is supposed to work, I’ve never done this before? | fvanll6 | fva3d5d | 1,592,532,073 | 1,592,520,268 | 6 | 2 | I am an Iowa attorney and my practice is 80% workers’ compensation. Your employer is responsible for 100% of the cost of medical care made necessary by your injury *as long as they selected the doctor who provided the care*. What is happening here is that your employer does not want to turn the claim over to its workers’ compensation carrier. This is a common shenanigan. Generally, the fact that they told you to go to whatever doctor you wanted is sufficient to make the urgent care an authorized provider. That said, work comp carriers are fuckers and will try to get out of paying for whatever they can. This makes it even more important that you get this turned over to the carrier and find out which physician you are authorized to see (if you need further medical care). You need to first politely insist that they turn the claim over to the carrier. If they won’t, tell them you’re going to get an attorney. If they still won’t get an attorney. Even if your employer offers to pay the full bill you should *still* make sure this gets turned over to the WC carrier. I had a guy once who had a minor laceration turn into a severely disabling injury due to an infection, you have no idea as you sit here today whether this could end up being more severe than it seems right now. The Iowa Association for Justice is a good resource if you need to find a WC attorney in your area. | You do not owe the doctors office anything. I am not your lawyer, but I do workers comp. If there is a potential of long term impairment you need to get a lawyer. If you think there is no chance of long term impairment just tell HR they need to pay the bills, plus a few days off, or you will get an attorney. Also, its very important you tell your doctor what you do, and the demands of your job, and ask for an off work letter. | 1 | 11,805 | 3 |
hbfm27 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Cut my self at work, I needed stitches. Company told me to make a workman’s comp claim. The next day my boss said he would pay half of the bill. So now I owe 300$ if I would have just used my insurance I would have only had to pay 25$ I’m in Iowa, the headline pretty much sums it up. I’m in construction, I cut myself with my razor knife by accident. I called my HR, she told me to go to the urgent care of my choosing. I was told to tell the doctor it happened at work. I had to go into the office the next morning to fill out a accident report. Then the bill came in the mail to my house. I was told bring the bill into the office. Then my boss called the doctors office and paid half the bill over the phone. Now I have to pay the other 300$. If I would have just left work and not told anybody anything and gone to the doc it would have only been a 25$ co pay. Is this the way workmans comp is supposed to work, I’ve never done this before? | fvaijwv | fvanll6 | 1,592,528,984 | 1,592,532,073 | 2 | 6 | You need to contact whoever is their Work Comp insurance carrier...you should not be paying any of the bill. | I am an Iowa attorney and my practice is 80% workers’ compensation. Your employer is responsible for 100% of the cost of medical care made necessary by your injury *as long as they selected the doctor who provided the care*. What is happening here is that your employer does not want to turn the claim over to its workers’ compensation carrier. This is a common shenanigan. Generally, the fact that they told you to go to whatever doctor you wanted is sufficient to make the urgent care an authorized provider. That said, work comp carriers are fuckers and will try to get out of paying for whatever they can. This makes it even more important that you get this turned over to the carrier and find out which physician you are authorized to see (if you need further medical care). You need to first politely insist that they turn the claim over to the carrier. If they won’t, tell them you’re going to get an attorney. If they still won’t get an attorney. Even if your employer offers to pay the full bill you should *still* make sure this gets turned over to the WC carrier. I had a guy once who had a minor laceration turn into a severely disabling injury due to an infection, you have no idea as you sit here today whether this could end up being more severe than it seems right now. The Iowa Association for Justice is a good resource if you need to find a WC attorney in your area. | 0 | 3,089 | 3 |
hbfm27 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Cut my self at work, I needed stitches. Company told me to make a workman’s comp claim. The next day my boss said he would pay half of the bill. So now I owe 300$ if I would have just used my insurance I would have only had to pay 25$ I’m in Iowa, the headline pretty much sums it up. I’m in construction, I cut myself with my razor knife by accident. I called my HR, she told me to go to the urgent care of my choosing. I was told to tell the doctor it happened at work. I had to go into the office the next morning to fill out a accident report. Then the bill came in the mail to my house. I was told bring the bill into the office. Then my boss called the doctors office and paid half the bill over the phone. Now I have to pay the other 300$. If I would have just left work and not told anybody anything and gone to the doc it would have only been a 25$ co pay. Is this the way workmans comp is supposed to work, I’ve never done this before? | fvanll6 | fvaiyx7 | 1,592,532,073 | 1,592,529,241 | 6 | 2 | I am an Iowa attorney and my practice is 80% workers’ compensation. Your employer is responsible for 100% of the cost of medical care made necessary by your injury *as long as they selected the doctor who provided the care*. What is happening here is that your employer does not want to turn the claim over to its workers’ compensation carrier. This is a common shenanigan. Generally, the fact that they told you to go to whatever doctor you wanted is sufficient to make the urgent care an authorized provider. That said, work comp carriers are fuckers and will try to get out of paying for whatever they can. This makes it even more important that you get this turned over to the carrier and find out which physician you are authorized to see (if you need further medical care). You need to first politely insist that they turn the claim over to the carrier. If they won’t, tell them you’re going to get an attorney. If they still won’t get an attorney. Even if your employer offers to pay the full bill you should *still* make sure this gets turned over to the WC carrier. I had a guy once who had a minor laceration turn into a severely disabling injury due to an infection, you have no idea as you sit here today whether this could end up being more severe than it seems right now. The Iowa Association for Justice is a good resource if you need to find a WC attorney in your area. | Don't deal with your boss, don't pay that bill. Go to HR. Document what they tell you and when they said it. Were you drug tested at the urgent care? That is part and parcel with most work comp claims, and one of the reasons we send to Urgent Care, so it can be done at the same time as treatment. | 1 | 2,832 | 3 |
6sni0q | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | (MA) My friend was raped by her (newlywed) husband and left for dead. She has a meeting with the DA next week. What can she do to ensure that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law? My friend got married this past spring. It very soon became obvious that her new husband was not the man she thought he was as the verbal abuse began. Things rapidly escalated to the point where he raped her and "left her for dead," though I'm not sure what this last part means exactly, and I don't have the heart to ask. My friend was able to get to the hospital, and from there she was transferred to a psychiatric hospital due to expressing the wish to end her own life. She was discharged after a week or so and seems to be mending well. She has told me that she put charges on her now ex-husband, though I'm not quite sure what this means? I think that he has surely been arrested and released on bail? At any rate, she has a meeting with the DA next week to discuss the charges against her ex. She is pushing for Class A felony and sex offender registry. She is afraid that he will harm another woman in the future and thinks that sex offender registry will prevent that from happening. What steps can she take to ensure that her ex is prosecuted to the fullest extent? She is afraid that a plea deal will be offered and he will walk free with little consequence. Her ex does have prior convictions for domestic assault against another woman. | dlenftx | dlehv1m | 1,502,327,524 | 1,502,320,354 | 9 | 7 | She can do nothing beyond tell the DA that she is uncomfortable with a plea deal. It's up to prosecutorial discretion to determine how to best spend that office's very limited resources, and they will take her feelings into account but they may still decide to end this quickly. If they do not, and it goes to trial, the single most important thing she can do is to TELL. THE. TRUTH. It's always horrible to see perfectly good sexual assault cases fall apart because the victim's contradictory statements - which could be on any topic of her testimony - lead the judge to conclude that her testimony isn't trustworthy enough to justify suspending someone's liberty. There've been two on our side of the border in recent memory and they're horrible. In all things she must tell the complete, entire, unvarnished truth. Even when it makes her look bad or stupid or whatnot. There is no room for pride or shame in the witness' chair. He did rape her and the judge will believe her until someone shows him a reason why he should not. Do not give him that reason. | She should get in contact with her local rape crisis center. Many of them have legal advocacy and assistance along with counseling. It could be as simple as someone to offer support and reassure your friend through the process. She can find the local here: http://www.janedoe.org/find_help (Full disclosure: I'm an advocate at an MA RCC.) | 1 | 7,170 | 1.285714 |
6sni0q | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | (MA) My friend was raped by her (newlywed) husband and left for dead. She has a meeting with the DA next week. What can she do to ensure that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law? My friend got married this past spring. It very soon became obvious that her new husband was not the man she thought he was as the verbal abuse began. Things rapidly escalated to the point where he raped her and "left her for dead," though I'm not sure what this last part means exactly, and I don't have the heart to ask. My friend was able to get to the hospital, and from there she was transferred to a psychiatric hospital due to expressing the wish to end her own life. She was discharged after a week or so and seems to be mending well. She has told me that she put charges on her now ex-husband, though I'm not quite sure what this means? I think that he has surely been arrested and released on bail? At any rate, she has a meeting with the DA next week to discuss the charges against her ex. She is pushing for Class A felony and sex offender registry. She is afraid that he will harm another woman in the future and thinks that sex offender registry will prevent that from happening. What steps can she take to ensure that her ex is prosecuted to the fullest extent? She is afraid that a plea deal will be offered and he will walk free with little consequence. Her ex does have prior convictions for domestic assault against another woman. | dlehv1m | dlecj0f | 1,502,320,354 | 1,502,314,034 | 7 | 6 | She should get in contact with her local rape crisis center. Many of them have legal advocacy and assistance along with counseling. It could be as simple as someone to offer support and reassure your friend through the process. She can find the local here: http://www.janedoe.org/find_help (Full disclosure: I'm an advocate at an MA RCC.) | Any proof of the verbal abuse would be helpful as well. Texts, voicemails, emails, etc. Just tell her to do as the DA says, not much else she can do. Have her write down what happened and make sure not a single word of her testimony changes. | 1 | 6,320 | 1.166667 |
6sni0q | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | (MA) My friend was raped by her (newlywed) husband and left for dead. She has a meeting with the DA next week. What can she do to ensure that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law? My friend got married this past spring. It very soon became obvious that her new husband was not the man she thought he was as the verbal abuse began. Things rapidly escalated to the point where he raped her and "left her for dead," though I'm not sure what this last part means exactly, and I don't have the heart to ask. My friend was able to get to the hospital, and from there she was transferred to a psychiatric hospital due to expressing the wish to end her own life. She was discharged after a week or so and seems to be mending well. She has told me that she put charges on her now ex-husband, though I'm not quite sure what this means? I think that he has surely been arrested and released on bail? At any rate, she has a meeting with the DA next week to discuss the charges against her ex. She is pushing for Class A felony and sex offender registry. She is afraid that he will harm another woman in the future and thinks that sex offender registry will prevent that from happening. What steps can she take to ensure that her ex is prosecuted to the fullest extent? She is afraid that a plea deal will be offered and he will walk free with little consequence. Her ex does have prior convictions for domestic assault against another woman. | dlehv1m | dleh7qy | 1,502,320,354 | 1,502,319,534 | 7 | 2 | She should get in contact with her local rape crisis center. Many of them have legal advocacy and assistance along with counseling. It could be as simple as someone to offer support and reassure your friend through the process. She can find the local here: http://www.janedoe.org/find_help (Full disclosure: I'm an advocate at an MA RCC.) | A guilty verdict after trial is also not the end of the case. Almost all defendants convicted after trial file an appeal. That process can take years. And if an appellate judge thinks something went wrong during the trial, they can send it back 5 or 10 years later to do it all over again. Memories have faded, officers retired. It's even harder to get a conviction that late in the game. But a plea deal usually comes with a waiver of appeal. So that really is the end of the case. I've talked to attorneys who handled appeals for years and couldn't understand why a lawyer or the judge would say or do something crazy during a trial that provided the basis for a successful appeal. And then they actually tried cases and realized how easily it is to say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. | 1 | 820 | 3.5 |
6sni0q | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | (MA) My friend was raped by her (newlywed) husband and left for dead. She has a meeting with the DA next week. What can she do to ensure that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law? My friend got married this past spring. It very soon became obvious that her new husband was not the man she thought he was as the verbal abuse began. Things rapidly escalated to the point where he raped her and "left her for dead," though I'm not sure what this last part means exactly, and I don't have the heart to ask. My friend was able to get to the hospital, and from there she was transferred to a psychiatric hospital due to expressing the wish to end her own life. She was discharged after a week or so and seems to be mending well. She has told me that she put charges on her now ex-husband, though I'm not quite sure what this means? I think that he has surely been arrested and released on bail? At any rate, she has a meeting with the DA next week to discuss the charges against her ex. She is pushing for Class A felony and sex offender registry. She is afraid that he will harm another woman in the future and thinks that sex offender registry will prevent that from happening. What steps can she take to ensure that her ex is prosecuted to the fullest extent? She is afraid that a plea deal will be offered and he will walk free with little consequence. Her ex does have prior convictions for domestic assault against another woman. | dlecj0f | dlenftx | 1,502,314,034 | 1,502,327,524 | 6 | 9 | Any proof of the verbal abuse would be helpful as well. Texts, voicemails, emails, etc. Just tell her to do as the DA says, not much else she can do. Have her write down what happened and make sure not a single word of her testimony changes. | She can do nothing beyond tell the DA that she is uncomfortable with a plea deal. It's up to prosecutorial discretion to determine how to best spend that office's very limited resources, and they will take her feelings into account but they may still decide to end this quickly. If they do not, and it goes to trial, the single most important thing she can do is to TELL. THE. TRUTH. It's always horrible to see perfectly good sexual assault cases fall apart because the victim's contradictory statements - which could be on any topic of her testimony - lead the judge to conclude that her testimony isn't trustworthy enough to justify suspending someone's liberty. There've been two on our side of the border in recent memory and they're horrible. In all things she must tell the complete, entire, unvarnished truth. Even when it makes her look bad or stupid or whatnot. There is no room for pride or shame in the witness' chair. He did rape her and the judge will believe her until someone shows him a reason why he should not. Do not give him that reason. | 0 | 13,490 | 1.5 |
6sni0q | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | (MA) My friend was raped by her (newlywed) husband and left for dead. She has a meeting with the DA next week. What can she do to ensure that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law? My friend got married this past spring. It very soon became obvious that her new husband was not the man she thought he was as the verbal abuse began. Things rapidly escalated to the point where he raped her and "left her for dead," though I'm not sure what this last part means exactly, and I don't have the heart to ask. My friend was able to get to the hospital, and from there she was transferred to a psychiatric hospital due to expressing the wish to end her own life. She was discharged after a week or so and seems to be mending well. She has told me that she put charges on her now ex-husband, though I'm not quite sure what this means? I think that he has surely been arrested and released on bail? At any rate, she has a meeting with the DA next week to discuss the charges against her ex. She is pushing for Class A felony and sex offender registry. She is afraid that he will harm another woman in the future and thinks that sex offender registry will prevent that from happening. What steps can she take to ensure that her ex is prosecuted to the fullest extent? She is afraid that a plea deal will be offered and he will walk free with little consequence. Her ex does have prior convictions for domestic assault against another woman. | dleh7qy | dlenftx | 1,502,319,534 | 1,502,327,524 | 2 | 9 | A guilty verdict after trial is also not the end of the case. Almost all defendants convicted after trial file an appeal. That process can take years. And if an appellate judge thinks something went wrong during the trial, they can send it back 5 or 10 years later to do it all over again. Memories have faded, officers retired. It's even harder to get a conviction that late in the game. But a plea deal usually comes with a waiver of appeal. So that really is the end of the case. I've talked to attorneys who handled appeals for years and couldn't understand why a lawyer or the judge would say or do something crazy during a trial that provided the basis for a successful appeal. And then they actually tried cases and realized how easily it is to say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. | She can do nothing beyond tell the DA that she is uncomfortable with a plea deal. It's up to prosecutorial discretion to determine how to best spend that office's very limited resources, and they will take her feelings into account but they may still decide to end this quickly. If they do not, and it goes to trial, the single most important thing she can do is to TELL. THE. TRUTH. It's always horrible to see perfectly good sexual assault cases fall apart because the victim's contradictory statements - which could be on any topic of her testimony - lead the judge to conclude that her testimony isn't trustworthy enough to justify suspending someone's liberty. There've been two on our side of the border in recent memory and they're horrible. In all things she must tell the complete, entire, unvarnished truth. Even when it makes her look bad or stupid or whatnot. There is no room for pride or shame in the witness' chair. He did rape her and the judge will believe her until someone shows him a reason why he should not. Do not give him that reason. | 0 | 7,990 | 4.5 |
6sni0q | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | (MA) My friend was raped by her (newlywed) husband and left for dead. She has a meeting with the DA next week. What can she do to ensure that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law? My friend got married this past spring. It very soon became obvious that her new husband was not the man she thought he was as the verbal abuse began. Things rapidly escalated to the point where he raped her and "left her for dead," though I'm not sure what this last part means exactly, and I don't have the heart to ask. My friend was able to get to the hospital, and from there she was transferred to a psychiatric hospital due to expressing the wish to end her own life. She was discharged after a week or so and seems to be mending well. She has told me that she put charges on her now ex-husband, though I'm not quite sure what this means? I think that he has surely been arrested and released on bail? At any rate, she has a meeting with the DA next week to discuss the charges against her ex. She is pushing for Class A felony and sex offender registry. She is afraid that he will harm another woman in the future and thinks that sex offender registry will prevent that from happening. What steps can she take to ensure that her ex is prosecuted to the fullest extent? She is afraid that a plea deal will be offered and he will walk free with little consequence. Her ex does have prior convictions for domestic assault against another woman. | dlep7wf | dlecj0f | 1,502,329,856 | 1,502,314,034 | 7 | 6 | Everyone has given good advice, but I'd suggest two things: 1. She should ensure that she gets very good mental health help. The defense attorney will try to raise her mental health at trial. 2. She should be very willing to testify against him, and she should tell the DA that she is willing. | Any proof of the verbal abuse would be helpful as well. Texts, voicemails, emails, etc. Just tell her to do as the DA says, not much else she can do. Have her write down what happened and make sure not a single word of her testimony changes. | 1 | 15,822 | 1.166667 |
6sni0q | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | (MA) My friend was raped by her (newlywed) husband and left for dead. She has a meeting with the DA next week. What can she do to ensure that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law? My friend got married this past spring. It very soon became obvious that her new husband was not the man she thought he was as the verbal abuse began. Things rapidly escalated to the point where he raped her and "left her for dead," though I'm not sure what this last part means exactly, and I don't have the heart to ask. My friend was able to get to the hospital, and from there she was transferred to a psychiatric hospital due to expressing the wish to end her own life. She was discharged after a week or so and seems to be mending well. She has told me that she put charges on her now ex-husband, though I'm not quite sure what this means? I think that he has surely been arrested and released on bail? At any rate, she has a meeting with the DA next week to discuss the charges against her ex. She is pushing for Class A felony and sex offender registry. She is afraid that he will harm another woman in the future and thinks that sex offender registry will prevent that from happening. What steps can she take to ensure that her ex is prosecuted to the fullest extent? She is afraid that a plea deal will be offered and he will walk free with little consequence. Her ex does have prior convictions for domestic assault against another woman. | dlep7wf | dleh7qy | 1,502,329,856 | 1,502,319,534 | 7 | 2 | Everyone has given good advice, but I'd suggest two things: 1. She should ensure that she gets very good mental health help. The defense attorney will try to raise her mental health at trial. 2. She should be very willing to testify against him, and she should tell the DA that she is willing. | A guilty verdict after trial is also not the end of the case. Almost all defendants convicted after trial file an appeal. That process can take years. And if an appellate judge thinks something went wrong during the trial, they can send it back 5 or 10 years later to do it all over again. Memories have faded, officers retired. It's even harder to get a conviction that late in the game. But a plea deal usually comes with a waiver of appeal. So that really is the end of the case. I've talked to attorneys who handled appeals for years and couldn't understand why a lawyer or the judge would say or do something crazy during a trial that provided the basis for a successful appeal. And then they actually tried cases and realized how easily it is to say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. | 1 | 10,322 | 3.5 |
6sni0q | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | (MA) My friend was raped by her (newlywed) husband and left for dead. She has a meeting with the DA next week. What can she do to ensure that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law? My friend got married this past spring. It very soon became obvious that her new husband was not the man she thought he was as the verbal abuse began. Things rapidly escalated to the point where he raped her and "left her for dead," though I'm not sure what this last part means exactly, and I don't have the heart to ask. My friend was able to get to the hospital, and from there she was transferred to a psychiatric hospital due to expressing the wish to end her own life. She was discharged after a week or so and seems to be mending well. She has told me that she put charges on her now ex-husband, though I'm not quite sure what this means? I think that he has surely been arrested and released on bail? At any rate, she has a meeting with the DA next week to discuss the charges against her ex. She is pushing for Class A felony and sex offender registry. She is afraid that he will harm another woman in the future and thinks that sex offender registry will prevent that from happening. What steps can she take to ensure that her ex is prosecuted to the fullest extent? She is afraid that a plea deal will be offered and he will walk free with little consequence. Her ex does have prior convictions for domestic assault against another woman. | dlex173 | dleh7qy | 1,502,341,202 | 1,502,319,534 | 5 | 2 | On the civil side, one thing the friend should push for is an annulment. Due to short length of marriage, this could be a better option than divorce, since it "undoes" the marriage. Whose name is on the title or lease of the matrimonial home? Hers, his, or both? She needs to clear things up so that her name isn't on the documents for the rapist's non-jail address (would being sent to jail count as abandoning residence?) so she's not financially liable for anything that happens there, and his name isn't on the documents for where she's living so he doesn't have any claim to being on the property. Victim's advocate should be able to advise her on both the annulment and housing issues. | A guilty verdict after trial is also not the end of the case. Almost all defendants convicted after trial file an appeal. That process can take years. And if an appellate judge thinks something went wrong during the trial, they can send it back 5 or 10 years later to do it all over again. Memories have faded, officers retired. It's even harder to get a conviction that late in the game. But a plea deal usually comes with a waiver of appeal. So that really is the end of the case. I've talked to attorneys who handled appeals for years and couldn't understand why a lawyer or the judge would say or do something crazy during a trial that provided the basis for a successful appeal. And then they actually tried cases and realized how easily it is to say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. | 1 | 21,668 | 2.5 |
zy89mi | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Going to court for the ticket of driving without an adult despite having a license in North Carolina so basically a cop made a mistake and gave me a ticket for driving without an adult, a learners permit violation despite the fact that I am 19 (prob because I am way too damn short for my age) and I have a license (I know it's a license, it says its a drivers license in bold text, I am paying for NNO insurance, I took the drivers test and all). What would I need to bring to court and do I even need to pay for a lawyer? I have never been to court before so I am wondering if I can just bring in dmv records and my license and get the ticket dismissed. | j264of4 | j25h04e | 1,672,354,514 | 1,672,345,084 | 37 | 32 | Generally speaking, you don't need a lawyer for traffic court. You can represent yourself, and traffic violations are generally straight forward. That being said, a lawyer isn't necessarily a bad thing if you can pay for one. But it sounds like all you'll need to do is show up dressed respectably, and show your license. If you can, bring additional evidence that the license was issued prior to the ticket. Maybe grab your birth certificate or other secondary documents to prove your age, just to be extra safe. So long as you have a license without restrictions (and you can get a license as an adult that requires you to have another licensed driver in the vehicle with you), this should be really easy to get thrown out. | Talk to the DA before the court date and they will dismiss it | 1 | 9,430 | 1.15625 |
zy89mi | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Going to court for the ticket of driving without an adult despite having a license in North Carolina so basically a cop made a mistake and gave me a ticket for driving without an adult, a learners permit violation despite the fact that I am 19 (prob because I am way too damn short for my age) and I have a license (I know it's a license, it says its a drivers license in bold text, I am paying for NNO insurance, I took the drivers test and all). What would I need to bring to court and do I even need to pay for a lawyer? I have never been to court before so I am wondering if I can just bring in dmv records and my license and get the ticket dismissed. | j255o3o | j264of4 | 1,672,340,683 | 1,672,354,514 | 10 | 37 | Call the clerk of court, he/she will be able to help you. | Generally speaking, you don't need a lawyer for traffic court. You can represent yourself, and traffic violations are generally straight forward. That being said, a lawyer isn't necessarily a bad thing if you can pay for one. But it sounds like all you'll need to do is show up dressed respectably, and show your license. If you can, bring additional evidence that the license was issued prior to the ticket. Maybe grab your birth certificate or other secondary documents to prove your age, just to be extra safe. So long as you have a license without restrictions (and you can get a license as an adult that requires you to have another licensed driver in the vehicle with you), this should be really easy to get thrown out. | 0 | 13,831 | 3.7 |
zy89mi | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | Going to court for the ticket of driving without an adult despite having a license in North Carolina so basically a cop made a mistake and gave me a ticket for driving without an adult, a learners permit violation despite the fact that I am 19 (prob because I am way too damn short for my age) and I have a license (I know it's a license, it says its a drivers license in bold text, I am paying for NNO insurance, I took the drivers test and all). What would I need to bring to court and do I even need to pay for a lawyer? I have never been to court before so I am wondering if I can just bring in dmv records and my license and get the ticket dismissed. | j25h04e | j255o3o | 1,672,345,084 | 1,672,340,683 | 32 | 10 | Talk to the DA before the court date and they will dismiss it | Call the clerk of court, he/she will be able to help you. | 1 | 4,401 | 3.2 |
yibvm6 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [NYC] buying a house with renters who has not paid rent since the pandemic in illegal basement Hi all, so I found a house I really like in a great location (5 min drive from my job, close to restaurants, supermarkets and the mall) at an attractive price that fits my budget. However, the seller has informed us that the renter living in the basement refused to move out and has not paid rent since the pandemic. They’re currently in the process of taking him to courts. Buying this house means it will be my problem to deal with this renter. I was wondering if I buy this house, will the court case be automatically transferred to me? If it comes to the point where I have to take him to court, will I have a case since I was not the person who placed him in the illegal basement and I have no intention to rent out the basement in the future? What are my options? Thank you all for your help in advance! | iuhtmyi | iuirl9h | 1,667,222,513 | 1,667,236,711 | 526 | 2,216 | If you buy this house you become a landlord of a nonpaying tenant and it becomes your problem. I don't know if an existing court would transfer to you but I suspect not. This can all be avoided by NOT BUYING THIS HOUSE. Or if you really insist on it make the sale contingent on the house being vacant before closing. If the seller refuses to agree to that as part of the contract it's a good sign that you are setting yourself up to purchase a massive headache. | Don’t buy the house. Or make the sale contingent on the house being empty first. These are your two options. | 0 | 14,198 | 4.212928 |
yibvm6 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [NYC] buying a house with renters who has not paid rent since the pandemic in illegal basement Hi all, so I found a house I really like in a great location (5 min drive from my job, close to restaurants, supermarkets and the mall) at an attractive price that fits my budget. However, the seller has informed us that the renter living in the basement refused to move out and has not paid rent since the pandemic. They’re currently in the process of taking him to courts. Buying this house means it will be my problem to deal with this renter. I was wondering if I buy this house, will the court case be automatically transferred to me? If it comes to the point where I have to take him to court, will I have a case since I was not the person who placed him in the illegal basement and I have no intention to rent out the basement in the future? What are my options? Thank you all for your help in advance! | iuikzv2 | iuirl9h | 1,667,234,086 | 1,667,236,711 | 48 | 2,216 | Also if its an illegal apartment, you can't collect rent. So you have to pay to get them out and lose whatever rent might be. Add those to your other costs and is it worth it then? | Don’t buy the house. Or make the sale contingent on the house being empty first. These are your two options. | 0 | 2,625 | 46.166667 |
yibvm6 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [NYC] buying a house with renters who has not paid rent since the pandemic in illegal basement Hi all, so I found a house I really like in a great location (5 min drive from my job, close to restaurants, supermarkets and the mall) at an attractive price that fits my budget. However, the seller has informed us that the renter living in the basement refused to move out and has not paid rent since the pandemic. They’re currently in the process of taking him to courts. Buying this house means it will be my problem to deal with this renter. I was wondering if I buy this house, will the court case be automatically transferred to me? If it comes to the point where I have to take him to court, will I have a case since I was not the person who placed him in the illegal basement and I have no intention to rent out the basement in the future? What are my options? Thank you all for your help in advance! | iui97d6 | iuirl9h | 1,667,229,318 | 1,667,236,711 | 36 | 2,216 | You buy the problem tenant and all related issues when you buy the house. Have a solid plan with a landlord attorney before moving forward with the transaction. | Don’t buy the house. Or make the sale contingent on the house being empty first. These are your two options. | 0 | 7,393 | 61.555556 |
yibvm6 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [NYC] buying a house with renters who has not paid rent since the pandemic in illegal basement Hi all, so I found a house I really like in a great location (5 min drive from my job, close to restaurants, supermarkets and the mall) at an attractive price that fits my budget. However, the seller has informed us that the renter living in the basement refused to move out and has not paid rent since the pandemic. They’re currently in the process of taking him to courts. Buying this house means it will be my problem to deal with this renter. I was wondering if I buy this house, will the court case be automatically transferred to me? If it comes to the point where I have to take him to court, will I have a case since I was not the person who placed him in the illegal basement and I have no intention to rent out the basement in the future? What are my options? Thank you all for your help in advance! | iuhszgf | iuirl9h | 1,667,222,190 | 1,667,236,711 | 8 | 2,216 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | Don’t buy the house. Or make the sale contingent on the house being empty first. These are your two options. | 0 | 14,521 | 277 |
yibvm6 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [NYC] buying a house with renters who has not paid rent since the pandemic in illegal basement Hi all, so I found a house I really like in a great location (5 min drive from my job, close to restaurants, supermarkets and the mall) at an attractive price that fits my budget. However, the seller has informed us that the renter living in the basement refused to move out and has not paid rent since the pandemic. They’re currently in the process of taking him to courts. Buying this house means it will be my problem to deal with this renter. I was wondering if I buy this house, will the court case be automatically transferred to me? If it comes to the point where I have to take him to court, will I have a case since I was not the person who placed him in the illegal basement and I have no intention to rent out the basement in the future? What are my options? Thank you all for your help in advance! | iuhtmyi | iuiwqtk | 1,667,222,513 | 1,667,238,739 | 526 | 806 | If you buy this house you become a landlord of a nonpaying tenant and it becomes your problem. I don't know if an existing court would transfer to you but I suspect not. This can all be avoided by NOT BUYING THIS HOUSE. Or if you really insist on it make the sale contingent on the house being vacant before closing. If the seller refuses to agree to that as part of the contract it's a good sign that you are setting yourself up to purchase a massive headache. | > a house I really like in a great location ... at an attractive price > > refused to move out and has not paid rent > > illegal basement This is not a coincidence! They've priced in what they think is the cost of removing this tenant. You're in for a world of pain here, especially because it's an illegal basement unit, and especially because it's NYC. Take possession empty, or spend a lot of time with a real estate lawyer to understand the pain you're getting into here. | 0 | 16,226 | 1.532319 |
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