minoosh/HOPE · Datasets at Hugging Face

Utterance stringlengths 2 4.06k	D_ACT class label 12 classes
Yeah, but yeah. They kind of just said, you know, do what you can do not have it happen, but if it you know if it has to happen, you know, what can I do about it? It was kind of they were saying	6cd
so, they were understanding?	1irq
I didn't feel like they were that understanding, but I also didn't feel like they were gonna take any punitive action against me, right, right then and there or anything.	0id
Did you anticipate worst reaction than you experienced?	1irq
Yeah, I did. And I also anticipated that they would maybe have more of a procedure for how to handle it and they didn't have a procedure which also made me feel a little worried. I can't imagine I'm the first mom that has had to deal with this. And they kind of talked like It's never happened before. So I kind of felt anxious, because I thought, am I really the first mom that's had to take a lot of time off because their child sick. They didn't give me the impression that they had sort of a protocol or like they had dealt with this before.	0id
As a sort of like it took them by surprise?	4crq
Yeah, or they just didn't have a plan for what to do about it.	6cd
And they were investing a lot of energy in thinking about that?	1irq
No, no, I guess not.	0id
And when was the second how long?	1irq
Just this past week, this week.	0id
So how has this week been back at work?	1irq
Oh, it's been very busy because I'm trying to catch up and get everything handled. But that's the way it always, always is. So nobody has said anything to me or anything about the absences	0id
other than that first and other ?	3gc
Yeah.	7ack
And there's been no more absences?	1irq
Nope	0id
Okay, earlier you mentioned being a good mom How a good mom look lik?	1irq
Umm somebody who takes care of their child and puts them makes them a priority, like their first priority. And, you know, does the things that they need to do to make sure their child is taken care of.	0id
And you're a little worried through this was last experience you're talking about that you didn't rise level of good mom?	1irq
Yeah, I felt like I wasn't being a good mom because I was preoccupied and making work a bit of a bigger priority than taking care of my kid.	0id
Okay, so so good, mom's more about More than just rather, your behavior, right, what you're doing is about what you're also thinking. So you took care of your child.	3gc
Yeah.	7ack
Yeah.	8op
What's what's that look like?	1irq
Um, well, somebody that, you know, takes care of all of their workload and handles all of the tasks that they have each day and someone that's consistent and reliable, and, you know, puts effort into what they're doing and gets their job done. Really, you know, reliably.	0id
Well, I missed a lot for maternity leave.	0id
So that's understandable but excluding that?	1irq
I've missed out since the school year started, I've missed if you include the three. I've missed nine days. But some of those were half days. They add up to nine days.	0id
Okay, total nine?	4crq
Yeah.	0id
And you're allowed?	1irq
10 per school year, it's only January and I'm already at nine.	0id
I can see that will cause worry what happens if you go over the 10	3gc
I don't know. I mean, I think that they would dock my pay for the for those for it. If I was there a day and I didn't have any more sick days left. They would just dock my pay for that day. But outside of that, I don't know what else would happen.	0id
Is anybody that you work with that you could ask that question to HR department?	5yq
Yeah, I guess I could contact the HR department.	8op
I'm just thinking because you're just one day away, from being at that number might be prudent just to talk with them and see. See, you know what to expect, right? So this whole thing though, the missing days caused you anxiety, frustration.	3gc
Yeah, a little bit	7ack
about any type of feeling down at all?	1irq
A little bit sometimes when I start feeling like I'm a bad mom.	0id
probably sort of the guilt and the feelings of not being able to be the best mom.	0id
How would you rate yourself right now as a mother if say 10 was the best mother you could imagine? Right? And one was the absolute worst?	1irq
I'm probably like an eight.	0id
Okay. That's pretty good, right?	3gc
Yeah.	7ack
What would be the cutoff to where? What's the cutoff score? And that will scale I just gave it for good mother and not good mother.	1irq
I guess like halfway like,	0id
so five is good enough.	1irq
Yeah, feel like It's not good enough for me.	0id
Okay. Okay	7ack
I wouldn't be okay with that.	3gc
So if you look at somebody else, another person in similar situation of five would be acceptable. Right?	1irq
Probably. Yeah.	0id
But how about for you specifically?	1irq
Yeah, that's not	0id
that's not gonna cut it?	1irq
Yeah	0id
Well, we've cut it.	3gc
I don't know. At least a seven.	0id
and you're an eight	4crq
Yeah	6cd
sure?	4crq
No	6cd
not sure. Okay. So you're close to the border. Like you're close to the border on you're your value system of being not a good mother.	3gc
Yes, not as good a mother as I want to be	3gc
Okay. Now, what do you want to be?	1irq
Yeah, I want to be like a eight or higher,	0id
eight or higher where you are in s you said?	4crq
Yeah	6cd
okay. So you want to be the parent sounds like	3gc
No, there's some leeway, I guess you have to allow for that.	0id
In some ways, it's useful because it keeps me keeps me on track if that makes sense. It keeps me pushing to keep doing the best I can.	0id
Okay, So it does have a useful side does have an unusual side less than useful?	1irq
Well, yeah, I guess it does in the sense that if I become too worried about it, then I'm wasting energy on worry instead of being able to put that energy into being good mom.	0id
Yeah. So I guess one things I'm getting at here is has to worry has the anxiety or it paid off for you?	1irq
Probably not.	0id
Why not? So you're suffering with it?	1irq
Yeah	0id
it might make you a little more vigilant but mostly most, it's just causing suffering.	3gc
Yeah.	7ack
So at the heart of it, you're not a bad mom. Right? You're in good mom category. You're a good employee. Right. But your, your way of dying yourself, Your perception is that you're not doing a great job at either one.	3gc
Exactly.	7ack
And that's the thinking I'm getting that it's not, you know, it's not necessarily irrational. I'm thinking it's just less than useful. It's dysfunctional.	3gc
Yeah, I can see that.	3gc
Yeah. Um, no, it was really the night But, um, well, you know, I went as far as to think, am I gonna get fired? You know, I had to kind of think about	0id
so your thought was, am I gonna get fired?	5yq
Yeah.	8op
And then what was the feeling that that came right after that?	1irq
panic and worry Oh, yeah,	0id
maybe some anxiety?	4crq
some anxiety? Yeah.	6cd
Were you able to do anything to address that panic or your anxiety at that time? Like, did you tell yourself anything? Or did you take some action?	1irq
Oh, I did tell myself that I didn't go over yet. And, you know, hopefully I won't, you know, there's still a chance that I'm not going to go over on my days and hopefully won't go so far as to fire me, you know,	0id
and how did you feel after you consciously had that thought?	1irq
a little bit better, but the still kept hovering around. Yeah	0id
the whole time. Probably all the way till Monday, right when you returned to work?	1irq
Yeah. Yeah. Like I wanted to call somebody at work and talk to them about it and make sure it was okay. But you know, it was the weekend, so I couldn't do any of those things. I just had to wait it out. Yeah.	0id
So we've talked before about self talk, you might remember me saying the phrase adaptive response, right? So it's the kind of pre packaged response we have two thoughts that we've identified is not so useful.	3gc
Right.	7ack

Yeah, but yeah. They kind of just said, you know, do what you can do not have it happen, but if it you know if it has to happen, you know, what can I do about it? It was kind of they were saying

6cd

so, they were understanding?

1irq

I didn't feel like they were that understanding, but I also didn't feel like they were gonna take any punitive action against me, right, right then and there or anything.

0id

Did you anticipate worst reaction than you experienced?

1irq

Yeah, I did. And I also anticipated that they would maybe have more of a procedure for how to handle it and they didn't have a procedure which also made me feel a little worried. I can't imagine I'm the first mom that has had to deal with this. And they kind of talked like It's never happened before. So I kind of felt anxious, because I thought, am I really the first mom that's had to take a lot of time off because their child sick. They didn't give me the impression that they had sort of a protocol or like they had dealt with this before.

0id

As a sort of like it took them by surprise?

4crq

Yeah, or they just didn't have a plan for what to do about it.

6cd

And they were investing a lot of energy in thinking about that?

1irq

No, no, I guess not.

0id

And when was the second how long?

1irq

Just this past week, this week.

0id

So how has this week been back at work?

1irq

Oh, it's been very busy because I'm trying to catch up and get everything handled. But that's the way it always, always is. So nobody has said anything to me or anything about the absences

0id

other than that first and other ?

3gc

Yeah.

7ack

And there's been no more absences?

1irq

Nope

0id

Okay, earlier you mentioned being a good mom How a good mom look lik?

1irq

Umm somebody who takes care of their child and puts them makes them a priority, like their first priority. And, you know, does the things that they need to do to make sure their child is taken care of.

0id

And you're a little worried through this was last experience you're talking about that you didn't rise level of good mom?

1irq

Yeah, I felt like I wasn't being a good mom because I was preoccupied and making work a bit of a bigger priority than taking care of my kid.

0id

Okay, so so good, mom's more about More than just rather, your behavior, right, what you're doing is about what you're also thinking. So you took care of your child.

3gc

Yeah.

7ack

Yeah.

8op

What's what's that look like?

1irq

Um, well, somebody that, you know, takes care of all of their workload and handles all of the tasks that they have each day and someone that's consistent and reliable, and, you know, puts effort into what they're doing and gets their job done. Really, you know, reliably.

0id

Well, I missed a lot for maternity leave.

0id

So that's understandable but excluding that?

1irq

I've missed out since the school year started, I've missed if you include the three. I've missed nine days. But some of those were half days. They add up to nine days.

0id

Okay, total nine?

4crq

Yeah.

0id

And you're allowed?

1irq

10 per school year, it's only January and I'm already at nine.

0id

I can see that will cause worry what happens if you go over the 10

3gc

I don't know. I mean, I think that they would dock my pay for the for those for it. If I was there a day and I didn't have any more sick days left. They would just dock my pay for that day. But outside of that, I don't know what else would happen.

0id

Is anybody that you work with that you could ask that question to HR department?

5yq

Yeah, I guess I could contact the HR department.

8op

I'm just thinking because you're just one day away, from being at that number might be prudent just to talk with them and see. See, you know what to expect, right? So this whole thing though, the missing days caused you anxiety, frustration.

3gc

Yeah, a little bit

7ack

about any type of feeling down at all?

1irq

A little bit sometimes when I start feeling like I'm a bad mom.

0id

probably sort of the guilt and the feelings of not being able to be the best mom.

0id

How would you rate yourself right now as a mother if say 10 was the best mother you could imagine? Right? And one was the absolute worst?

1irq

I'm probably like an eight.

0id

Okay. That's pretty good, right?

3gc

Yeah.

7ack

What would be the cutoff to where? What's the cutoff score? And that will scale I just gave it for good mother and not good mother.

1irq

I guess like halfway like,

0id

so five is good enough.

1irq

Yeah, feel like It's not good enough for me.

0id

Okay. Okay

7ack

I wouldn't be okay with that.

3gc

So if you look at somebody else, another person in similar situation of five would be acceptable. Right?

1irq

Probably. Yeah.

0id

But how about for you specifically?

1irq

Yeah, that's not

0id

that's not gonna cut it?

1irq

Yeah

0id

Well, we've cut it.

3gc

I don't know. At least a seven.

0id

and you're an eight

4crq

Yeah

6cd

sure?

4crq

No

6cd

not sure. Okay. So you're close to the border. Like you're close to the border on you're your value system of being not a good mother.

3gc

Yes, not as good a mother as I want to be

3gc

Okay. Now, what do you want to be?

1irq

Yeah, I want to be like a eight or higher,

0id

eight or higher where you are in s you said?

4crq

Yeah

6cd

okay. So you want to be the parent sounds like

3gc

No, there's some leeway, I guess you have to allow for that.

0id

In some ways, it's useful because it keeps me keeps me on track if that makes sense. It keeps me pushing to keep doing the best I can.

0id

Okay, So it does have a useful side does have an unusual side less than useful?

1irq

Well, yeah, I guess it does in the sense that if I become too worried about it, then I'm wasting energy on worry instead of being able to put that energy into being good mom.

0id

Yeah. So I guess one things I'm getting at here is has to worry has the anxiety or it paid off for you?

1irq

Probably not.

0id

Why not? So you're suffering with it?

1irq

Yeah

0id

it might make you a little more vigilant but mostly most, it's just causing suffering.

3gc

Yeah.

7ack

So at the heart of it, you're not a bad mom. Right? You're in good mom category. You're a good employee. Right. But your, your way of dying yourself, Your perception is that you're not doing a great job at either one.

3gc

Exactly.

7ack

And that's the thinking I'm getting that it's not, you know, it's not necessarily irrational. I'm thinking it's just less than useful. It's dysfunctional.

3gc

Yeah, I can see that.

3gc

Yeah. Um, no, it was really the night But, um, well, you know, I went as far as to think, am I gonna get fired? You know, I had to kind of think about

0id

so your thought was, am I gonna get fired?

5yq

Yeah.

8op

And then what was the feeling that that came right after that?

1irq

panic and worry Oh, yeah,

0id

maybe some anxiety?

4crq

some anxiety? Yeah.

6cd

Were you able to do anything to address that panic or your anxiety at that time? Like, did you tell yourself anything? Or did you take some action?

1irq

Oh, I did tell myself that I didn't go over yet. And, you know, hopefully I won't, you know, there's still a chance that I'm not going to go over on my days and hopefully won't go so far as to fire me, you know,

0id

and how did you feel after you consciously had that thought?

1irq

a little bit better, but the still kept hovering around. Yeah

0id

the whole time. Probably all the way till Monday, right when you returned to work?

1irq

Yeah. Yeah. Like I wanted to call somebody at work and talk to them about it and make sure it was okay. But you know, it was the weekend, so I couldn't do any of those things. I just had to wait it out. Yeah.

0id

So we've talked before about self talk, you might remember me saying the phrase adaptive response, right? So it's the kind of pre packaged response we have two thoughts that we've identified is not so useful.

3gc

Right.

7ack