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Fifty Shades Trilogy Under the Skin
**Author's note:** Hi everyone! I'm new to posting here but not new to fanfic and this has been rolling around in my head for weeks now. I started reading and writing fanfiction 15 years ago, but I haven't written anything in 5 or so years and I have never posted anything in such a public space like this, so I'm a little rusty and nervous. Anyway, I love so many of the Ana/Christian stories on here and decided to write my own. I've read stories that pick up where the books left off of course, reinterpretations of the books or characters from scratch, stories where they met and were together in high school, lost touch and came back together again. Well, I'm going to explore the what if's if they had gotten together in high school and stayed together. How would their lives unfold? How would BDSM figure into everything, if at all? What about Ana's own issues from childhood? I've been outlining this for a couple months, on paper from age 16 until about age 30 and outlined in my head beyond that.
A few things i'll go ahead and note ahead of time:
- I've made A&C the same age and this starts when they are 16 but it's been a_ loooong_ time since I've been there myself so I'm not sure if I'm up to date on my teenager lingo. I going on memories of what it was like for me in high school in the early 90's and listening to my own 3 teenagers talk to their friends.
-I'm using characters from the books in different settings- Leila and Jack both go to school with Ana and Christian. In my story, both Jack and Christian were born in Seattle, not Detroit.
-Bear with me if I get a few minor book facts wrong, it's been a while since I read them.
-And finally, everything ultimately belongs to E.L. James, I do not own or profit from anything related to FSOG.
Please review and tell me what you think. If you like it, I plan to update ever week or so. :)
* * *
_August 30, 1999_
**Christian POV**
"Hi, Christian!" Redhead. Chloe, I think.
"Hi, Christian." Brunette. Shy smile. Leila. Cute but annoying.
"Hello, Christian!" Blond. Mary something. Maryanne, Marybeth? I don't know. And I really don't give a shit. But she does has a nice rack. I give them each a tight smile and a nod and keep walking, I can feel their eyes on me as I pass. _Quit staring at me!_ Fuck, it's just a face. If they really knew me, they'd be running in the opposite direction. Today is the first day of school and as I walk these halls with the puke colored walls and feel eyes boring into the back of me, I know eleventh grade is going to be pretty much like tenth. The guys will be friendly enough with me because I'm Elliot's kid brother - everybody loves Elliot - but not actual friends since I don't do the friendship thing. And the girls who like my pretty face will try to touch me and talk to me and get a seat beside me in class. All that effort for nothing of course, since I don't do the girlfriend thing either. No hearts. No flowers. No friends. I have Elena and that's enough. She said no hearts and flowers, that people like us aren't capable of that kind of emotion, that kind of stuff is for fools anyway, love is for fools. So with Elena it's no emotion, only fucking. Hard fucking. Fantastic, hard fucking.
And the other stuff. Which I'm not too crazy about. Okay, so some of the other stuff I do like. Not gonna lie, getting tied up and flogged by a sexy older woman who is dressed in stilettos and leather can be pretty hot. It's when she goes too far, that's what I don't like. Sometimes I don't think I deserve all the pain she gives when she punishes me. She's even touched my chest twice and I wanted to rip off my own skin both times it burned so bad. And I hate, _hate_ what she lets the others do to me. But she says I need it, I need to test my limits, and she doesn't like when I safeword. I guess she's right, I think I do need it. I mean, I _have_ straightened myself out since getting with Elena. My grades were excellent last year, I stopped drinking, and I only got into two confrontations the whole year, both with that fucker Hyde - I have no idea why but he despises me - and even then there were some other kids around _and_ a teacher who said he provoked me, so I didn't get into too much trouble. I even decided I want to go to Harvard like my dad and started focusing my studies on that goal. I joined the rowing team and actually made Varsity Eight this year. I'll admit, I'm pretty psyched about that. I really want to improve my speed this year and get some good video of the meets, hopefully I can earn a spot on the Harvard Crew.
When I turned sixteen a few months ago and finished tenth grade with the fourth highest GPA in my class, my parents bought me a car. A car! It's a dark gray '99 Volvo C70 LT and a convertible and I fucking love it. I was a little surprised they got me such a 'sports car' but they know I am Mr. Safety when it comes to stuff like that and would never drive in an unsafe manner anyway, and Volvos are known to be safe. Not to mention Elena would beat me into next week if I ever got a ticket for anything. Elliot acted all jealous but I know he loves the truck he got for his sixteenth. When he was fifteen, he came right out and told our parents that _if_ they wanted to get him something big for his sixteenth birthday and_ if_ it happened to be a vehicle, he would like a pickup truck. He's so into building stuff, always hauling something in that truck, usually going to our grandparents' house to build whatever needs building and repair whatever needs repairing. I didn't expect to miss him as much as I have this last month since he left for college. He's only about four hours away and says he plans to come home one weekend a month. We'll see. I think that was more my mom's rule than his own idea.
Getting the car wasn't even the best part of my birthday, that came when my dad told me he was proud of me. He said how great it was that I was making so many positive changes, not getting into fights, getting good grades and thinking about my future. And then my dad, James Carrick Grey, told me he was proud of me. He actually said, "I'm proud of you, son. Very proud," and patted me on the shoulder. He's proud of me! And Elena is responsible for that. Not totally, I worked my ass off for the grades. But she was and is the incentive to turn things around. If I do well in school and other areas of my life, I get fucked, literally. If I don't do well and disobey the rules, I get punished. Simple as that. So I _do_ need it, I need that punishment and reward, it keeps me on the right path, keeps me focused. I couldn't do this without Elena, no way.
She said I couldn't.
I felt kind of guilty accepting the car. Elena is a family friend and my mother's closest. That is sort of bad I guess. Somehow I don't think my parents would understand that what we do is helping me and that I want it. We're not really doing anything wrong, it's totally consensual. Well, except for the times she ignores the safeword. But that's only happened four or five times in over a year. And she said she knew I could take it, that I didn't really mean to safeword. She's right, I can take it. I need it.
I hear the warning bell ring through the halls telling me I have ten minutes to find my assigned locker and get to my homeroom so I pick up my pace. As I pass the cafeteria I hear, "Hey Chris, slow down will ya?" I'd recognize that nasally New York accent anywhere, of course. Kimberly Bain. I stop and turn and there she is, all six feet of her. Short curly black hair, light brown skin, bright green eyes, very pretty face. She has a killer body too, but fuck me she has a voice like The Nanny. Makes me want to bust my own eardrums sometimes. But what I said about not doing the friendship thing? I have to rethink that when I'm around Kim. If I do have a friend, it's her. She kind of forced herself on me last year; we were both new to this school, her mom had just gotten a new job so her family moved here from New York, and I was new because I had been expelled from the third school in two years the previous May. We had the same homeroom, the same lunch, a history class together, and ended up being biology partners. I had always sat alone at lunch and liked it just fine that way, but that first day she just came right over and sat with me, uninvited. She said we were both new and needed to stick together, for a while at least, and that she didn't want to sit alone and look like a fool anyway so I was stuck with her. Then she proceeded to tell me her life story. Her father David is something she calls a 'good ol' white boy' from Alabama and works for an electric company. Her mother, Alexandra, was an Ivy League educated black woman from Brooklyn, one of the first women to attend Harvard as a full time student. A corporate attorney just beginning her career. David, a lineman at the time, was sent to New York to help restore electricity after several days worth of severe storms knocked out power to close to a million homes and businesses. During a period of free time, he was wandering around Manhattan when it started raining. Having no umbrella and no luck getting a taxi, Alexandra saw him and took pity, giving him a quick lesson on hailing a cab in New York City. Kim said that her parents say it was like Clair Huxtable meets Andy Taylor. I've seen reruns of both shows on cable and I've met her parents. It's an accurate description. They shared that cab and the rest is history. Kim said it was love at first sight. Whatever that is. I remember she got super pissed when she told me that part and I rolled my eyes. Anyway, her dad didn't really care where he lived and her mother did care where she lived, so David moved to New York City, they got married and had Kim. I think they must be pretty brave and love each other a lot, they got married at a time when the idea of interracial marriage was still commonly rejected. Hell, it's not entirely accepted now and we're heading into the 21st century. Ridiculous.
"Hey Kim, where you headed?"
"Just looking for my locker. _Supposedly_, they gave me a locker number that actually exists this year." I chuckle to myself knowing she is talking about her lost locker fiasco last year. "I have Mr. Brooks for homeroom. Who do you have?" she asks as she snatches my schedule from my hand.
"Hey!" I try to grab it back but she's too quick.
"Oh, don't get your panties in a wad, our schedules aren't guarded secrets you know. Oh cool, you have Brooks too. And we have second lunch together again! Woohoo!"
She bumps me in the shoulder as we continue down the hall and I give her a little grin back and roll my eyes, "Oh great, so I have to endure 45 minutes of your obnoxious self every day at lunch this year, too? Wonderful!" There is sarcasm in my words but I'm secretly glad we have lunch together again. She really is a good… friend? Yes, I guess I need to acknowledge that I do indeed have a friend now. Huh. Who woulda thought? I don't really consider Elena a friend, more of a…. mentor. I wish I could let her meet my parents, they would be so happy to know I have a friend. But I'm not stupid, I know where Elena got all her information about my 'issues' to begin with. It would kill my mother if she knew Elena used what she told her in confidence to get to me. If I introduced someone to my parents, especially a girl, Mom would surely mention that to her at some point and the outcome would not be good. For me, that is. I don't even want to think about what the punishment would be and it wouldn't matter to Elena one bit that Kim is into chicks not dicks, the friendship would still be unacceptable and off limits.
"Yeah, Chris," she's the only person who calls me Chris and I still don't know if I like it, "I'm gonna cut into your 'thinking time' again this year." She gave me a sideways glance and smirk.
"Oh, shut up about that!" I try to sound mad but can't help a laugh escaping. Last year after we had been eating lunch together for a few weeks, I still didn't have much to say, she did most of the talking. One day she asked me why I never really said anything and I certainly wasn't going to tell her about the issues I have that make me not really like people in general, so I snapped at her and I told her I preferred to eat alone and that she was cutting into my 'thinking time'. I immediately realized how stupid that sounded and she just stared at me before she burst out laughing. Finally she calmed down enough to tell me to stop _thinking_ so much because that first day of school when she saw me sitting alone _thinking_, she thought I looked like I was concentrating on taking a shit. Bitch. Okay, so it was a little funny. Ha fucking ha. But I opened up a little more after that and now we talk about all sorts of things. Nothing too deep though, I definitely don't want her knowing about all of my fucked up shit. I'd lose her friendship for sure.
"What's your locker number?" I ask and Kim looks down at her own schedule.
"1960. You're 1940. The 19's are on the science hall, right?" Her brow furrows as she looks at the little map attached to her schedule.
"Yeah, my locker was down there last year, the 17's and 18's and behind us and the 2000's are upstairs." We make a left turn onto the math hall and pass a couple guys from crew who acknowledge me with a nod and "hey man" and I nod back. They're cool guys I guess, maybe I should try to be friendlier with them? I don't know, that's too much to think about right now. Another turn, right this time, and we're on one end of the science hall. As we make our way through the crowd, I see that fucker Jack Hyde standing by the bathrooms. He's seen me and is watching me with a look of what can only be described as pure disgust on his face. Kim sees the staredown and nudges me in the arm.
"Hey!" she says to me sternly to get my attention and I glance at her before returning to the staring contest. "Don't let him get to you this year, okay? You know he's gonna fuck with you just like last year, just don't fucking let him. We're going to Harvard in two years, right? And they are not gonna want someone who is a discipline problem." Kim decided she wants to go to Harvard like her mom and has this weird idea that we're going to share an apartment.
I'm still engaged in the staredown with Jack when Kim smacks me on the shoulder. "Hey, are you listening to me, Grey?" Grey? She's getting pissed. I finally pull my gaze from Jack and focus my attention back on Kim as she continues her lecture. She has a look on her face that reminds me of my mom. Geez. "You're getting the grades to get into Harvard and you better not fuck it up by getting into any fights with that ugly fucker!" She says fuck more than I do. Maybe even more than Elliot. "And besides all that, if you do get into it with him, _I'm_ gonna have to step up too, seeing as you're my best friend and all, and that's just gonna fuck up _my_ chances. He's a big fuck but I know we can take him if we have to."
I come to a dead stop in the hall and just look at her trying to hold in my laughter at her tirade. She looks back at me with a sweet little shit eating grin and I can't hold it anymore. Man, she is funny sometimes! I get myself together and now realize that during her little speech, Kim has subtly moved us down the hall, away from Jack, without me even noticing. He is no longer in my line of sight and I instantly relax. We're nearing the intersection of the science and another math hall, our lockers should be right around here. I start looking at the numbers as we pass, they go backwards, 1959, 58, 57….
"I know all that, okay Kim? I don't want to fuck up either, but he just won't leave me alone! I had never even seen the guy before last year and he hates me. I have no idea why but he does, I've never even said anything to him unless he spoke first. And what was that shit he was saying to me last time, calling me 'baby bird', what the fuck is that about?" I'm getting worked up again, what is this guy's problem?
"Well, I don't know what his problem is but just stay away from him the best you can, okay?" She hands my schedule back to me as she starts scanning the locker numbers as well. "Here look, we have a few classes together again this year, and lunch, so I'm gonna help you steer clear of him. I'll stick to you like fucking glue if I have to. Maybe he'll finally graduate this year and we won't have to deal with him our senior year." Okay, this is starting to piss me off. I can handle myself, I'm not a kid!
"For fuck's sake Kim, I don't need a babysitter! I can take care of myself and avoid that fucker. I don't need you watching my every move like you're my mother or something!" Shit, I sound like an asshole now. Kim stops walking again and I stop with her. She looks at me and I can see I have hurt her feelings. Fuck.
"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you, Chris. I don't want you to get in any trouble." Her voice is soft and she looks down, maybe a little embarrassed for lecturing me like she did and yes I am definitely an asshole. She's my friend, my only friend, she's worried about me and trying to help and I'm a dick to her about it. I reach up and lightly squeeze her shoulder, preparing myself to do something I rarely do. Apologize.
"Hey look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I just…. I don't know. He gives me the fucking creeps! I just get this weird feeling that he knows something about me or_ knows me_ somehow, and that 'baby bird' crap? It's almost like I'm supposed to know what that means. Like it's right on the edge of my mind what he's talking about but I don't know what it is. Ugh! I hate that fucker. I hope he just stays away from me but something tells me he won't."
Kim looks at me sympathetically. "Yeah, I don't think so either. Hey look, there's your locker, 1940. And mine… ah shit, a bottom locker? Really? They can't give shorter people the lower lockers?" Ha! Her locker is directly below mine and both are right on the corner where two halls intersect. "Trade with me, Chris? Please? I'll have to twist myself into a pretzel just to get a book out of there!" She gives me a pout that she knows damn well does not work on me.
"What? Hell no! Why would I trade? I'm taller than you anyway." There is no way I'm giving up a top locker. She rolls her eyes at me and makes a big show of having to get on her knees to open her locker.
"Ugh, fine! This is just great, last year they give me the number to a locker that doesn't exist, this year they give the six foot tall chick a bottom locker. Who assigns lockers anyway? Probably Mrs. Prell, I know she hates me."
It takes three tries and I'm getting frustrated but I finally get the combination lock open and put my gym bag in the locker. The five minute bell sounds as I close the door and spin the dial.
"We better hurry, you know what a hardass Brooks is about tardiness," I remind her. He really is. We had him for biology last year and he acts like you're late if you get to class with less than a minute to spare before the final bell.
"Yeah I know, let's go." Kim stands to follow me and as we turn the corner…
_WHAM!_
Someone has run right into me, head on. Hard. I stumble back a little as the person braces against my chest and I instinctively reach out and grab around their waist in an effort to steady us both. I see a mass of wavy dark brown hair against my shirt, obviously belonging to a girl, and then, everything is slow motion. The mass dark waves moves away from my shirt as she lifts her head to look at me and oh my god I have never seen blue eyes this blue. She has pale, creamy, flawless skin that colors with a light blush before my eyes. She has full, pouty pink lips and she smells like vanilla and something slightly fruity. And those eyes! They are beautiful, _she_ is beautiful. And I am stunned speechless. I hear a faint 'uhh' noise and I hope it's not coming from me but I think it is. It now fully registers with me that her hands are on my chest and there is no pain, no burn, but some type of feeling, like a charge going through me, an energy between us. I can't breathe and I feel my heart pounding in my throat. We seem to realize at the same time that we are still grasping one another and we both jerk back. She looks terrified for a moment as she mumbles a hurried "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, excuse me!" and she's gone. I don't want her to go! I reach out trying to catch her arm as she retreats. "No, wait!" I call after her but it's too late, she has practically sprinted down the hall and ducked into the girls bathroom. I turn back around slowly to face Kim and she is staring at me wide eyed.
"Oh shit Chris, she touched your chest, are you alright?! Oh my god!" She stands right in front of me but doesn't touch, not even a shoulder bump, knowing that more might be too much right now. She knows about my problem with touch but not the _why_. I reluctantly told her last fall when she tried to hug me the last day of school before fall break and I pushed her away. She's cool about it though and very respectful of my boundaries. For that reason, she is one of the few people I trust to touch even my arms.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, shaking my head with the realization that yes, I _am_ alright, there really was no burn when she touched me. Why? "Yeah. Yeah, I'm alright. I think. Who was that, have you seen her before? Was she here last year?" She smirks at me and raises one eyebrow and I roll my eyes in return. Oh shut the fuck up.
"No, I've never seen her before. But no time to find out now, we're gonna be late. Come on."
We finally get to homeroom and find two empty desks. The roll call starts and Kim nudges me to answer when I don't even hear my own name called. How am I going to pay attention to anything else today? I only want to think about the blue eyed girl and her touch that didn't burn.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Lost Girl 1. Chapter 1
Bo shifted uneasily on her feet, glancing sideways at Kenzi
"are you sure she's gonna be here? What if she doesn't want to see me Kenz what am I supposed to do?"
"Whoa there Bo Bo calm down, Hot Pants is always happy to see you"
"But Kenz I'm with Dyson what if she doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore? I don't think I could handle losing her friendship. I care about her a lot ya know?"
Bo looked at Kenzi her eyes pleading her to understand the emotional dilemma she was in. Dyson had his love back, she was his one and only mate. Was she supposed to let him spend the rest of his life happy and alone. No Bo would not have that on her conscience, not again, not after he lost his love once already. But telling Lauren, that terrified Bo, she didn't think she could handle the look of hurt. Lauren saw through Bo and Bo was afraid of what she would see. Of what Lauren would do when she saw the truth behind Bo's eyes.
Lauren walked through the doors of the Dahl, her eyes seeking out Bo as if they had a mind of their own. "Bo" she called walking to where Bo and Kenzi were standing by the bar.
"Good luck Bo Bo" Kenzi muttered before grabbing her drink, nodding at Lauren and moving away from them.
"Lauren" Bo sighed her body immediately relaxing just by being in her presence. She smiled falling into Laurens brown expressive eyes. So much emotion was flashing through them that Bo couldn't keep up. She merely reached out to grab her hand. "Can we talk?"
"Of course Bo"
Bo lead them towards the couch, never letting go of her hand.
Lauren stared at Bo, waiting for her to say whatever it was that was so urgent that Lauren had to immediately rush to the Dahl.
Bo sighed staring down at their hands. She reluctantly released them, settling them in her lap before flickering her gaze back up to Lauren steeling herself for what she needed to say.
"Lauren you know that I care about you so much, and I value or friendship and not matter what happens I want us to continue being friends if we can"
"Bo" Lauren sighed "What are you trying to say" her voice sounded emotionless but Lauren had a feeling in her gut that this conversation was not going to end in the way she wanted it to.
"When we went to fight the Garuda Dyson was different I don't know if you noticed, but umm Kenzi visited the Norm before the battle. She wanted to make sure I had the backup I needed and well she got his love back" Bo sat back her monologue coming to an abrupt end. Internally she cringed that wasn't the way she wanted to say it.
Lauren merely stared at Bo, her brown eyes delving what secrets it could from the conflicted blue eyes that were staring back at her. Lauren felt the hurt, and betrayal that was threatening to spill out from her when she took a deep breath and closed down. She would feel this later but now, now she needed to escape before Bo could push the knife even deeper into her chest.
"You got back together" Lauren said it like a statement but Bo nodded anyways, frantically searching for a clue into what Lauren was feeling. Usually she was so easy to read and yet Bo couldn't get a thing. Lauren was closed down, more so than Bo had ever seen and a sense of dread began to spread within her. The sudden need to explain her actions surfaced.
"Wolf's only get one mate, I'm his I couldn't let him suffer for the rest of his life" Bo knew she was pleading with Lauren to understand. But she wanted no needed lauren to understand to remain a part of Bo's life.
Lauren sighed glancing around the Dahl, not allowing herself to feel anything. Letting the doctor side of her take over.
"If that's what you want then I'm happy for you. But I need to get back to the lab I have several patients with burns who need to be watched carefully over the next few days. Tell Kenzi I say hello" With that Lauren stood already turning away ready to escape. She felt the walls closing in and knew she wouldn't be able to handle the situation much longer.
Bo didn't understand what was happening. Lauren was leaving, Bo couldn't really blame her but somehow it made the whole situation feel much more final than Bo was comfortable with.
Kenzi inwardly winced as she saw Lauren making a hasty retreat out of the Dahl, she turned taking in Bo's face. Bo looked like a little kid, whose parents had taken away her new puppy. Kenzi shook her head wondering how much longer Bo was going to let this love triangle of hers continue.
Bo slowly walked up to Kenzi. "hey"
"how'd the Doc take it?"
"I don't know I told her and she just left. Kenzi it was like she didn't feel anything, she wished us the best, what does that even mean?" Bo exclaimed staring at Kenzi like she should have an answer to explain the whole thing away.
"Bo Bo Laurens different I think this is her way of dealing"
"but she left" Bo whispered grabbing a drink from the bar.
"you can't have them both Bo I love you and Ill support you whoever you choose. But you chose Dyson and now you expect Lauren to what hang around until you get bored?" Kenzi was one for hard truths and as much as it hurt her to do this to Bo someone had to talk to her before this whole thing got even more out of hand.
The door to the Dahl banged against the door as Dyson and Hale stumbled in.
"Bo my beautiful Bo my girlfriend!" Dyson shouted pulling Bo closer to kiss her. "I missed you" all Bo could do was smile sadly and nod. She forced herself to lean against Dyson letting him guide her to a seat in the bar.
Dyson flopped down pulling Bo with him. He wrapped his arms around her holding her close. He kissed her forehead stroking her hair softly muttering "mine your finally mine" Bo shuddered her body betraying her dislike. No she thought I don't belong to you. Another part of her wanted to think of Lauren but she stopped it. This is what she had chosen. Dyson was her choice, but why did it feel like she was cheating whenever he came close to her. _Because you are, _a voice inside her whispered as her eyes started to glow, _because you are._
2. Chapter 2
Lauren slammed the door closed behind her the tears she had been keeping at bay threatening to spill. She dropped her bag at the door, walked straight into the kitchen and went for the ice cream.
She collapsed on the floor spoon in one hand ice cream in another. Lauren know how pathetic she looked, falling for the girl who only was interested in her because her favourite man was unavailable but the second that wolf took one glance in her direction she was off, proclaiming her never ending love for him. He got her love, her trust so easily.
Lauren had made mistakes with Bo but it took time and effort to work her way back into Bo's good graces but it felt like Dyson never left them.
She ripped off the lid and took a healthy scoop of rocky road, finally allowing the tears to begin falling down her face. Ha Lauren what did you expect she asked herself you're a human slave and he's fae, were the odds ever really in your favour in terms of Bo?
Bo it hurt to even think about her. Laurens tears turned into sobs her body convulsing with the anguish that is was feeling. Tomorrow she thought tomorrow I will start to pull myself together, but tonight she was going to let herself feel every emotion that she had been avoiding since her and Bo's talk in the Dahl. And from the looks of it Lauren was in for a long night.
Bo was standing in her kitchen mindlessly drinking her coffee thinking about last night.
Dyson, Lauren, Dyson no Lauren no Dyson ugh son of a bitch she thought
Glancing down she realized that she had been drawing a triangle with her foot well isn't that ironic she thought sarcastically laughing at herself.
Kenzi stormed down the stairs sunglasses on her face "Bo" she whispered "the light it burns, why with the lights and the brightness?"
"Kenz why don't you call Hale see if he can cure the hangover that's currently kicking your ass"
"no way I'm rocking this hangover your just to grumpy to realize what I have to offer"
"aww Kenz I always know what you have to offer"
"and yet you don't appreciate it succubitch" Kenzi said laughing throwing herself down in a heap on the couch. "ugh the pain the pain!, Alright I will forgive you if you call my favourite ash-hole to make the world stop with the spinning"
Bo smiled endearingly at Kenzi no matter what happened in her life she knew Kenz always had her back.
"hey lil mama" Hale shouted as he sauntered into the room.
"what took you so long?"
"I was signing paper work all morning"
"you chose paper work over me I'm hurt"
"come on Kenz you know you'll always be my lil mama" with that Hale sat down by Kenzi whistling a gentle note to relieve her headache. Bo came running down the stairs.
"hey Hale, Kenz I'll see you guys later"
"Where ya going Bo?" Kenz questioned suspicious of Bo's demeanour.
"I was just going to visit the compound see some people, talk about things."
"Looking like that?" Kenzi asked eyeing Bo's favourite shirt and boots. "You're going to see Lauren!".
"Whats wrong with you Bo you broke up with her yesterday! Maybe you should give the girl some space!"
"we didn't break up we were never together"
"Oh yes you were, I don't know exactly what you two were but it was something and you know it Bo Bo." Hale sat there pretending to be invisible as the two best friends continued to stare down one another.
"I just want to make sure she's okay!"
"I know you do Bo, but it takes time to get over you and it's been less than 24 hours since you chose someone else. Is Dyson who you really want to be with? " The question was met with silence that didn't go unnoticed by Hale or Kenzi.
Bo angrily grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair. But she couldn't help the thoughts that began to seep into her brain. Maybe Kenzi's right; maybe I should let her be.
Hale spoke up deciding to intervene before anything could happen between these two people he cared so much about. "Lauren can't see you anyways Bo" Kenzi shot Hale a look of disbelief wondering if he realized how sensitive and protective Bo was when Lauren was involved. She glanced at Bo eyes widening this was not going to end well she thought to herself.
Bo froze her entire body becoming still, her eyes darkening. "why not Ash" she practically hissed ready to protect Lauren from overbearing leaders of the light even if he was her friend. "Woah there Bo I just mean she's busy in the lab today there's a new fae who she's examining"
"Who's this new fae?" Bo snapped immediately suspicious.
"I'm not sure she arrived right as I was leaving"
"What she look like?" Bo demanded, her emotions overtaking her as she toke a step closer to Hale.
"I barely got a chance to look at her, but she is gorgeous if she didn't play for the lady loving team I would be all over that. Oh but please don't interrupt Bo the Elders specifically requested she be examined as soon as possible and Lauren is doing this as a favour to me". Kenzi slapped Hale on the arm. Hearing the door slam as Bo all but ran to the door. "okay mister big ash man we need to talk about the correct time to say things and the times where you should close that siren mouth of yours "
Bo couldn't repress the anger that was emanating off her body. _They want to take her away from you. Look at them doing everything they can to steal her away. No _Bo thought her eyes flickering_ she is MINE and nobody was going to move in on her territory!_
Bo raced towards the compound ready keep this new fae away from Lauren. She knew she was letting her jealousy control her but she couldn't stop it. Her emotions had taken over and she refused to acknowledge the fact that Lauren had every right to take an interest in this supposed gorgeous new fae. All she could think about was Lauren being close to another person who wasn't' Bo. She was so intent on driving that as she threw her phone into her pocket she missed Dyson's name as it flashed across the screen.
3. Chapter 3
Bo drove with a single minded purpose; to get to Lauren. She knew, she just knew, that whoever this new fae was Bo wasn't going to like her. She was a threat to Lauren and that Bo would not stand for. Lauren was h… erm Lauren was Lauren Bo mused refusing to openly admit the possessive desires she had towards the doctor. Bo shook her head to clear it, slamming the car into park; she needed to be focused for whatever happened next.
….
Lauren smiled at the fae woman sitting on the exam table in front of her.
"come on Doc, you know you want to?" the fae whispered suggestively.
"do I?"
"yes, having a drink with me tomorrow night is at the top of your to do list."
Lauren couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. Skye, that was the name of the beautiful fae in front of her, was a refreshing change. She was a gorgeous brunette with an air of calm that seemed to surround engulf her. She was the opposite of Bo, Bo with her restlessness, and her ability to go charging off at a moment's notice. No, Skye exuded a sense of faithfulness, a feeling that she was constant, that she wouldn't change her mind on a moment's notice. Lauren sighed, realizing that she might be projecting a bit of her anger at Bo.
"tell ya what, I shall let you examine me to your heart's content, take as much blood as you need, answer all of your questions! And all you have to do is come out with me and have a good time! But its not a date." Skye was quick to explain at the look on Laurens face.
"It's just that well you look like you could use a friends and I make an excellent friend."
"A modest excellent friend?" Lauren asked.
"Haha why yes a very modest, confident, beautiful, sexy, smart, excellent in bed… hmm what was the question again?" Skye asked her eyes twinkling with mischief.
Lauren laughed, it had been a long time since she had felt this light.
"Okay you have yourself a deal, tomorrow night at eight"
"perfect. Meet you at the Dahl?" Skye said as she hopped off the exam table and grabbed her jacket.
"Sounds good"
"I can't wait" Skye said getting a little lost in Lauren's deep brown eyes. She turned and slowly made her way to the door stopping when she heard the doctors voice
"Why"
"Why what" Skye replied turning to look back.
"Why do you want to be friends? You are a very powerful fae, who has infinite connections to the light, what possible reason do you have for being concerned with a human doctor"
Skye paused taking in the face that was staring intently at her, as if to dissect the inner workings of her mind. She moved with purposeful steps until she was face to face with Lauren.
"honestly because you intrigue me. I've been alive for a very long time, and you are the first person I have come across in years that I have had desire to get to know. So the truth, doctor, is that you are smart, funny, and gorgeous and I would be a fool to let someone like you pass me by. As for being human, why should that make a difference? Fae are not superior merely different"
With that Skye leaned forward lightly pressing a kiss to Laurens cheek.
"Tomorrow night then doctor" she whispered in Laurens ear before spinning and striding out the door.
Lauren stood there frozen her cheek still tingling from where Skye had kissed her. That was kind of sweet she muttered while distractedly tidying up the lab. Despite the circumstances with Bo, Lauren found herself actually looking forward to seeing Skye tomorrow.
….
Bo burst through the doors of the compound, cornering the first person wearing a lab coat that she saw. "Where is Doctor Lewis" BO all but growled blocking the scared looking fae from any chance of escape.
"She was in exam room two but I think she left…" his voice trailed off, as Bo was already too far away to hear.
"Lauren" Bo called quickly surveying the darkened room. Angrily she flicked on the lights, part of her hoping that the doctor was sitting in the dark.
"Where are you Lauren" Bo sighed, letting the anger that had been driving her, slowly fade from her body. She slumped down in the nearest chair, putting her head between her hands. You make my heart hurt doctor she muttered under her breathe
"Bo is that you" Dyson called peering into the room
"Yeah what is it Dyson"
"I have some great news! I know we've all been stressed and worried but with the Garuda defeated I thought maybe you would want to go somewhere. Just the two of us, to celebrate us being you know together" Dyson looked up at Bo his eyes full of love and hope.
Bo's heart sank knowing that there was no way she could say no to whatever plan Dyson had concocted. "What were you thinking Dyson?"
"I bought us tickets to Australia!" he exclaimed, clearly confident that Bo would have no objections to whatever plans he made for the two of them.
"We leave tonight, I already talked to Kenzi and she said it was fine if you wanted to escape the chaos for a little while, as long as you promise to come back" Dyson said with a rueful smile. Kenzi having managed to claim a special part of the wolfs heart.
"You just made these plans, talked to my best friend but didn't feel the need to inform me?" Bo asked her anger starting to resurface. "Maybe I had plans Dyson what gives you the right to make these kinds of plans without me?" she asked stepping into his personal space.
"What the hell Bo I try to do one nice spontaneous thing as you boyfriend and you act like going to Australia with me for a vacation is a horrible thing. Is this about the doctor" he growled
Bo tensed "it's not about Lauren" she muttered
"Then why don't you want to come…"
Bo's shoulders sagged "nothing, its nothing I think this trip could be fun but you're sure Kenzi's okay with it" hoping that maybe Kenzi needed her to stay.
"Of course she said she'd see us off at the airport tonight and pick us up"
"How long are we going?" Bo questioned resigning herself to these plans
"A month."
Bo couldn't find the energy to feel anything at this news. She just felt empty and tired. Maybe she thought, maybe I do need a holiday.
_A month_ the voice growled, threatening to take over her body_. You're leaving our Doctor alone for a month. What if she's not here when we get back_ the voice snarled thrashing against Bo's control. Bo ignored the whispers, forcing herself to remain calm and in control. Maybe, she thought leaving will give me time get this under control.
She smiled up at Dyson reaching down to interlock their hands, "lets go pack" she said softly leading them towards the door. Australia. Dyson. A month. Bo grimaced, she could do this, no she would do this.
4. Chapter 4
"You okay Doc" Skye asked looking over at Lauren with concern. They were parked outside of her apartment, after their night out at the bar.
Lauren glanced over, tears filling her eyes "no, I don't think I am" she whispered.
Skye sighed, beginning to question if she had made the right choice to pressure the doctor into hanging out with her.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have forced you to come out with me tonight. I just, I just thought that you could use a night out to relax and have fun." Skye said grabbing hold of Laurens hand.
"no no. I've had a great time tonight. It's just; I umm just got a text from one of my colleagues."
"okay. Is something wrong? Do you need a ride anywhere?" Skye asked wondering if there was a medical emergency out there that needed Lauren to swoop in and solve.
"no it's not that. It's about my ex; well we were never really together. I'm not actually sure what we were, but it meant something, you know?"
"I know" Skye softly replied.
"I found out tonight that she umm she's going on vacation with her new boyfriend." Tears began to spill down Laurens cheeks as she fought to continue her story.
"She'll be gone for a month, and the stupid thing is I can't stand the thought of not seeing her for a whole month. She, she didn't even tell me she was leaving" Lauren gulped in lungs full of air, trying to calm the emotions that had been waiting to burst ever since she had read that text.
Skye felt a tug at her heart strings, her feelings twisted up at the thought of Lauren being upset.
"but what really hurts is that it's like she never really cared about me. I mean we broke up not even 48 hours ago, and now she's going on holiday with the wolf. It makes me wonder if she was with me just for something to do until he got his love back! I guess I just feel like she meant more to me than I did to her..." By this point the sobs had begun to take over.
"I'm so sorry I shouldn't be telling you all of this. It really doesn't concern you" Lauren said swiping at her tears and opening the car door. Skye threw her door open as she noticed Laurens intent to leave.
"Lauren wait" Skye shouted running around the car to stand before her.
"It does concern me. I know I've known you for all of like five minutes but I care about you. This woman, whoever she is made a huge mistake and one day she's going to realize that! I mean come on once you go doctor you can never go back!" Skye shouted hoping to cheer Lauren up.
Lauren glanced up a smile appearing in the corners of her eyes. "thanks" she whispered
"how bout we go up to your apartment eat some ice cream, do some shots. You can tell me all about what happen between the two of you. Oh and I promise to keep my hands to myself, well at least for tonight." Skye said cheekily, raising her eyebrows suggestively and winking at the smirking doctor.
"I'd like that" Lauren said, her tears starting to dry up. She reached down and grabbed Skye's hand, needing to physically anchor herself to the present..
"lead the way doctor!"
As Lauren pulled Skye up to her apartment Skye couldn't halt her thoughts. I like her, I like her a lot she mused. Skye didn't like to get too attached to anyone: humans or fae. She made it a habit to keep her distance. But something about Lauren pulled her in. Shrugging her shoulders Skye came to the startling conclusion that she wanted Lauren to break through her walls. Not only that but she was determined to do all she could to be whatever the doctor needed. Yes, Skye thought, I'm going to sticking around for quite some time.
….
Bo stared out of her balcony taking in the crashing waves, and the beautiful skyline. She had to admit, Dyson had rented an amazing place for them to stay. The view was magnificent, full room service, right on the beach, but Bo couldn't be excited. She was here with her boyfriend, in Australia, there was no reason she should be this unhappy. Well if Bo was honest there was a reason, a blonde haired doctor with legs that went on for…
Get it together Bo; Dyson's going to be back in a few minutes. She knew that he could sense something was off with her. Although he hadn't quite figured out that what Bo was going through was simply Lauren withdrawal. In the very corners of her mind she couldn't quiet the nagging suspicion that she wouldn't miss Dyson quite this much. No Bo thought shaking her head. They were going home tomorrow; back to her grandfather, Kenzi, Hale, and Lauren. When they got back everything could go back to normal. After all the voices hadn't said a word in over three weeks, Bo found herself hopeful that perhaps they were gone for good.
"Bo?" Dyson yelled opening the door his arm full.
"I got pizza!" he exclaimed, clearly still enjoying his vacation. He set it down on the table, walking towards Bo, scooping her up into his arm and kissing her.
"I missed you" he smiled kissing her again while pulling her closer.
"maybe we should save the pizza for later?" he growled deepening the kiss.
"Dyson stop" Bo said pushing him away.
"What? What's wrong?" he asked clearly shocked at the turn of events
"I just don't feel well; could we just have some food please?" Bo asked, avoiding his eyes
"as long as you're alright? Do you need a doctor?" putting his hand on her shoulder to convey his worry.
Bo inwardly cringed at his use of the word doctor. She had traveled half way around the world, and she could still feel the doctor's presence wherever she went. Not for the first time this trip her mind went back across the ocean to those back home. She had talked to Kenzi almost every day, but had been too afraid to mention Lauren's name. What was Lauren doing? Was she okay? Who was this new fae? Those questions seemed to be swirling around Bo's mind.
Dyson's hand started to burn as it remained planted on her shoulder; she slowly stepped out of his reach, watching as his arm fell to his side.
"I'm fine Dyson. Let's just eat" Bo stated as she reached for the pizza, missing the hurt look that was painted across his face.
….
"Hale" Kenzi called storming into the Dahl.
"where you at whistle boy?"
"yo lil mama calm down what's happening?"
"Bo's back tomorrow!"
"yeah I know and that's why you are so excited?" Hale asked feeling as though he was missing something important.
"Bo doesn't know yet"
"Doesn't know what" Hale questioned very carefully, subtly stepping back. Kenzi was, afterall a force to be reckoned with.
"about hot pants and her new girlfriend" Kenzi stated, turning to kick the stool standing beside them.
"What! Why haven't you told her yet? I thought she knew?" Hale stood up, his mind not liking where this was inevitably headed.
"I just… Ash-man, I just wanted Bo to have a vacation for once in her life. She's been through so much and I just wanted her to have one normal thing. I couldn't bring myself to tell her this, especially not over the phone." Kenzi sighed, seeing the understanding start to appear in Hale's eyes.
Hale took a moment to ponder what Kenzi had said, coming to a conclusion that he had harboured for a long time.
"you think she loves Lauren don't you?" he asked softly stepping forward
"I think she doesn't know herself. I think Bo got so caught up with Dyson getting his love back and only having one mate for the rest of his long fae life… I think Bo thought she had to be with him. And I should have seen it! I see so much but I, Lauren and I we don't really… Im pretty sure Bo doesn't belong with Dyson." Kenzi exclaimed startling herself with her outburst.
"the D-mans got his issues that's for sure, but lil mama are you sure?"
"I believe that Bo might have lost Lauren, and I'm not sure if she can handle that. I know Bo broke it off, but I don't honestly think that she realized that meant no more Lauren. In her mind Lauren would always be there, and she wouldn't have realized that choosing Dyson meant loosing Lauren to some fae."
"you thought she wanted him" Hale stated.
"she does, or at least a part of her did, I just misunderstood the impact Lauren had on her, I mean Hale you should have seen her after she told Lauren. But I know Bo, and she doesn't always think clearly.
"what are we going to do lil mama? You know I always got you're back, and me and Dyson aren't so close right now. But I don't want any of them to get hurt."
"that's what I'm afraid of Hale, that it's too late, and someone's going to get broken."
Hale pulled Kenzi in for a hug. "it's gonna be okay Kenz"
"I hope so" Kenzi said pulling away and sitting down
"me too" Hale replied quietly, "me too"
Great, Hale thought; a wolf with anger issues, a human doctor dating a mysterious fae, and a jealous succubus with untold power. Hale prayed that when Bo and Dyson got back no matter what happened, when it was all over, the people he cared about would be okay.
5. Chapter 5
Bo hugged Kenzi hard, realizing just how much she had missed her best friend.
"Kenz I missed you so much!"
"So did I succuface, you're not allowed to go anywhere without me for a whole month ever again you got that?"
"Whatever you say Kenz"
"Where's Dyson?" Kenzi asked catching the slight twitch of Bo's eyes at the sound of his name
"Getting the bags" Bo said waving her hands in a random direction "but I was too excited to see you to wait for them! Come on Kenz lets go home and you can fill me in on what's been going on around here."
"Will Dyson be joining us?"
"Well he does have my suitcase, so at least for a bit"
"Alright succubitch lets go home to the crack shack" Kenz cackled throwing her arm around Bo and leading them outside of the airport.
….
Bo sat curled up on the coach trying with all her might to stay awake.
"Kenz" she whispered trying and failing to keep her eyes open, "can we catch up tomorrow, I think I'm gonna pass out."
Kenzi smiled at Bo's exhausted expression, secretly impressed that Bo had lasted this long.
"Tell ya what Bo Bo you go crash and I'll meet you tomorrow night at the Dahl. I have a case going on that I need to check out tomorrow morning while you catch up on your sleep. I mean no offense Bo Bo but even succubus's need their beauty sleep!"
"Hey" Bo said lightly hitting Kenzi with a pillow "watch what ya say"
"Night Bo" Kenz said laughing as she got up.
….
Lauren checked herself out in the mirror, hmm not too bad she thought slowly turning to take in her dress from all angles. It was a stunning red dress, that snuggly hugged her body in all the right places. Simply put: Lauren looked hot.
"Lauren" a voiced called up to her "you almost ready to go hot stuff?"
"yeah, just a second Skye" she called down to the anxiously waiting fae. She knew patience was one of the few qualities that Skye didn't possess. It would appear that she was starting to get a little bit antsy.
Lauren descended the stairs catching the look on Skye's face, realizing that the dress had been the right choice.
"You look wow you look amazing Lauren" Skye stated lightly touching the material of the dress, still in awe of Laurens body.
"I think we should not go out tonight and stay in" she whispered pulling the doctor against her and gently pressing her lips against Laurens.
Lauren smiled into the kiss happy with Skye's reaction
"I believe you were the one who wanted to go out tonight not me."
"But Lauren" Skye whined unable to stop staring at Laurens striking outfit.
"Well I'm going out tonight if you want to stay here by yourself feel free" she said with a wicked glint in her eyes, turning towards the door.
"You don't fight fair" Skye muttered traipsing after her human doctor, a smile playing at her lips every time she glanced at Lauren walking with a purpose in front of her. She reached down to grab her hand, wanting to have some sort of physical connection to her. Lauren merely gave her hand a soft squeeze before ushering them towards the car.
….
"Hello Trick" Lauren said politely smiling at him
"Lauren it's been too long"
She nodded her head in agreement, realizing she hadn't seen Trick since Bo left for Australia.
"how have you been?"
"I'm doing well, thank you Lauren. How are you doing?" Trick questioned, wondering what had transpired between the human doctor and his granddaughter.
The door to the Dahl burst open as Skye walked through the doors making a beeline for Lauren.
"Hey Hot stuff" Skye said, leaning down to kiss the doctor. Lauren smirked up at Skye, enjoying the way her eyes seemed to be unable to look anywhere but at the dress she was wearing.
"Skye!" Trick exclaimed breaking up the moment between the two.
"old friend I must say, Im shocked to see you in my establishment! How have you fared my friend?"
Skye merely glanced in Tricks direction, raising her eyebrows
"I believe "friend" that the last time I was in one of your establishments, you threated to kill me if I ever returned"
Trick wearily met her eyes, "well tempers were running high, and things were said that weren't meant"
"So that means what exactly?"
"That means pull up a chair, and let bygones be bygones!" he exclaimed reaching for a shot glass to pour her a drink. Lauren watched the whole exchanged, looking at Skye, trying to convey with her eyes that she expected a complete explanation later.
Skye smiled taking a seat next to Lauren.
"Hey beautiful" she whispered, putting her hand on her shoulder "are you alright, I know you've been working a lot lately"
Lauren smiled at Skye's concerned expression
"I'm fine just a little tired, but it's nice of you to worry"
Trick watched their interactions with interest, wondering when this new relationship had occurred.
"Trick" Lauren said breaking his train of thought "I believe you've meet Skye, my girlfriend of the moment"
"Of the moment?" Skye exclaimed, feigning hurt
"The results aren't in yet" Lauren whispered patting Skye's knee comfortingly, before bursting into laughter at the peeved look on Skye's face.
Lauren leaned over and kissed Skye pulling back gently "you look cute when you're confused "she whispered. Laughing Skye stood pulling Lauren along with her,
"I think Doctor, it's time we go to dinner"
"I think you're right" Lauren replied, realizing how hungry she was.
"Trick" Lauren called, "I have a few questions for you about some fae history for one of my patients. Would it be alright if I came back later tonight?"
"of course Lauren, anything I can do to help. I should be here all night"
"Excellent. I'll see you later tonight then" With that Lauren and Skye left the Dahl, arm in arm.
Trick frowned, brows furrowing, as he worked out their connection in his mind. A large part of him was extremely happy that Lauren had someone who obviously cared for her, but a voice in the back of his mind gave him pause. He had the nagging suspicion that this new found romance was going to come as quite the shock to his granddaughter.
6. Chapter 6
Lauren laughed as she practically dragged Skye down the street.
"come on Skye, I promised Trick"
"nope I refuse, I have suffered enough tonight
"suffered?"
"you wear that and then we haveeee to go out to dinner, and instead of going home and taking off, said hot dress, we have to go visit a very old, occasionally grumpy little man"
"haha did you just call the blood king little man"
"I may have" Skye said standing on the street looking like an adorable, petulant child.
"is that why he kicked you out of his bar all those years ago?" Lauren questioned, genuinely curious.
"I might have used language that apparently "wasn't befitting of his establishment'" Skye muttered.
"what did you say?" Lauren exclaimed
"I called him a short power hungry dwarf"
"SKYE"
"what he insulted my sister, and it would have been fine. But see I may have insisted on calling him Grumpy the rest of the night. You know after the legend of Snow White and the seven dwarves"
"Skye that's not okay" Lauren sputtered trying and failing to stop the gigantic smile from spreading across her face.
"I was drunk and he was mean" she stated arms crossed as she stood on the street.
"really? He was mean?"
"well he was" Skye declared, smiling in spite of herself.
"I'll make you a deal" That got Skye's attention, Lauren made fantastic deals. "If you come with me to the Dahl, ill make sure to ease your suffering as soon as we get back to my apartment"
"Straight from the Dahl to the apartment?"
"yes" With that Skye jumped reaching for Laurens hand and practically sprinting towards the car
"Skye!"
"We're in a hurry, we have places to be, things to do!" Skye exclaimed. Lauren couldn't help but find it cute as she let herself be pulled to the car. Sometimes Sky's excitement was contagious, and Lauren found herself caught up in the joy that Skye seemed to bring out in her. Hmm Lauren mused maybe we should hurry home, as she took in the gorgeous woman in front of her, unconsciously picking up her pace to match Skye's. Tonight was going to be a good night.
….
"Kenzi you're here" Bo said happily, turning on her bar stool to take in her best friend.
"why yes I am Bo Bo. Trick you got anything to drink?" Kenzi shouted at him, nodding in thanks as he put a shot in front of her. Kenzi took it in one giant gulp.
"we celebrating tonight Kenz?" Bo asked amused at her friend's antics.
"every nights a celebration when you live with me Bo Bo!"
"haha of course Kenz"
"so tell me about your trip. How was it? Go sightseeing? Or was the only sight you saw of the wolf-man?" Kenzi questioned wiggly her eyebrows suggestively.
"KENZI" Bo spat, choking on her drink. She had forgotten Kenzi's ability to sneak in very personal questions.
"If you must know we spent most of the time out of the room"
"Kinky"
"Not like that! We just went out a lot, went swimming, clubbing, just a vacation I guess" Bo said shrugging her shoulders.
"You don't sound very excited for someone who spent a month in Australia."
"I am!" Bo protested, her voice sounding fake even to her. "I had a fun time. I did! Sort of" Bo muttered the last part under her breath, not realizing that Kenzi had heard every word
"What's wrong Bo Bo, you come back from a supposed relaxing holiday and you just seem unhappy. Talk to me Bo" She whispered leaning closer to Bo.
"Kenz, I think something… ugh never mind. I just need to see Lauren and then it'll be fine"
"Why? Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?" Kenzi questioned, starting to panic.
"No it's not that, I don't need a doctor. I just, I need to see Lauren and make sure she's okay. The whole time I was gone if felt like something was off and I'm worried. What if she's hurt? Or really depressed because of what I did? I hurt her Kenz! I know that. I just need to see her to tell for myself if she's okay. Once I know that I can stop freaking out." Bo sighed, her long winded answer finally coming to an end
"Why didn't you ever ask about her"
"I was afraid. What if something did happen and I was in Australia with Dyson? I couldn't live with myself, and he would never forgive me if I forced us to fly home early just to check on Lauren. So I pretended okay. I acted like everything was fine, that I wasn't constantly thinking about my ex while on vacation with my current boyfriend"
"Bo"
"I was a coward okay. And the voices"
"voices?" Kenzi interrupted.
"No not voices, my you know umm thoughts" Bo said fumbling with her response.
"Sureee" Kenzi said still suspicious of Bo's choice of words.
"They were quiet when I was over there. So I'm going to go see Lauren if that's okay with you Kenz? Once I see her ill finally be able to relax." Bo went to stand but was stopped at Kenzi grabbed onto her arm.
"Umm Bo Bo we need to talk"
"about what?"
"Lauren." At that one words Bo's wondering gaze focused solely on Kenzi.
"What about Lauren." Bo didn't seem to realize it, but she was immediately on edge. Her posture was aggressive, as if she was waiting for an attack, or to run off to save the doctor.
"Kenzi. Tell. Me." Bo practically growled, her body tensing as a mixture of emotions seemed to coil its way through her body.
"Bo calm down" Kenzi put her hand on Bo's, watching as she almost jumped out of her seat.
"Sorry Kenz" she whispered "I just went a little crazy for a second. What's up?" Bo asked acting like she hadn't been about to attack Kenzi, to pry the information out of her. "
"Bo there's been something that I've been meaning to tell you. Something that happened about two weeks ago. I couldn't bring myself to tell you over the phone, and since you never asked about her, it kinda never came up."
"what is it?" Bo asked, still on edge as Kenz, the queen of blunt truths, seemed to be skipping around the subject.
"she, well she definitely isn't depressed. So that's good right?" she questioned looking over to gauge Bo's reaction
"I guess so" Bo replied confused as to where this conversation was heading.
"See the thing is Bo she's been, oh what the hell. Bo Lauren's been" BANG. Both of them jumped as something slammed open the door of the Dahl, ripping the two of them out of their conversation.
"Mother fucker!" Kenz swore, angrily glaring at the fae who dared interrupt her, especially after she was finally getting to the point.
"Bo Laurens"
"here" Bo interrupted, her eyes lighting up with the chance of seeing her doctor.
"what where?" Kenzi swiveled in her seat eyes scoping the place but finding no Lauren.
"I can feel her aura; she's on her way inside now"
"can you feel everyone's aura from that faraway?"
"no not usually" Bo replied distractedly her eyes glued on the door way of the Dahl. "only with Laurens"
Kenzi raised her eyebrows, wondering if Bo even realized what that could possibly mean. She shook her head, vowing to discuss this with her at a later time.
"Lauren" Bo whispered, as she caught sight of her hair, swaying as she walked. Bo watched transfixed, unable to look anywhere but at the doctor. She angrily glared at the people who would occasionally block her view of the door. Her body seemed to sigh, the tension she had been caring since Australia seemingly fading away, as it always did whenever Lauren was near.
"Bo!" A voice yelled, startling her gaze away from the blonde doctor.
"where have you been hiding I've been looking for you all day?"
"sorry Dyson I must have had my phone off" Bo replied. Kenzi inwardly shook her head knowing for a fact that Bo had her phone on her all day. It was becoming very clear to her just how powerful Laurens hold on Bo's heart really was.
"no worries" he answered, leaning down to kiss Bo. Bo's turned her face so that Dyson ended up kissing her cheek.
"what the hell Bo?" Dyson asked, getting angry at the succubus's continued avoidance of him.
"what's gotten into you lately?"
….
Lauren entered the Dahl, laughing at an expression Skye had made. It was a fairly busy night and the Dahl was beginning to get crowded. She hoped that she would be able to borrow Trick away for a few moments.
"let's go see if we can flag down Trick, and then we can finally go home"
"brilliant plan doctor!" Skye said, eyes crinkling as she stared at Lauren." I shall follow as you lead the way through this treacherous crowd of drinkers!" Skye declared.
"you're silly" Lauren laughed
"but surprisingly hot and delightful"
"and a little bit full of herself" Lauren replied lightly give Skye a shove back.
"everyone's a critic" she complained, following Lauren as she weaved her way to the bar.
"Trick" Lauren called out, trying to gain his attention.
"Just one moment he replied, gesturing to the growing crowd of people in front of him.
Lauren sat down, pulling Skye closer to her.
"thank you for coming out with me tonight" she said
"It was my pleasure"
"I thought you were suffering?"
"being around you is never suffering" Skye whispered, watching as Lauren's eyebrows lifted slightly in recognition of how incredibly cheesy her words sounded.
"silly Lauren whispered leaning up to kiss Skye, unaware of anyone else's presence in the bar.
….
Bo sighed dramatically, rubbing her forehead, desperately thinking of something to say to diffuse the situation. She didn't want to deal with Dyson right now; all she wanted was to talk to Lauren.
"Bo!" Dyson yelled, noticing her attention was somewhere else.
"okay Dyson look…" Bo stopped her body tensing, as she sensed something in Lauren's aura. Bo turned locating where the doctor was, and she froze. Lauren was kissing an attractive brunette. An attractive brunette, that clearly, wasn't Bo. Bo's eyes turned blue, the voices that had been quiet for so long took over, without so much as a struggle.
Bo erupted from her chair, her body almost vibrating as her power chorused through her. _Who dares touch what is mine_. Bo thought angrily. _MINE_. The voices screamed as Bo stalked towards her unsuspecting prey.
Shit Kenzi thought, jumping over what was left of the bar stool. This is going to be a lot worse than I thought, Kenzi muttered, frantically running to stop the enraged succubus.
7. Chapter 7
Lauren pulled away from Skye, sensing a disturbance behind her. She turned, startled at what she saw; Bo with vibrant blue eyes, making her way towards her and Skye. Skye leaned down to whisper in Laurens ear,
"Who's that hot stuff?"
The movement only seemed to enrage Bo, as she moved quicker towards them, unable to watch someone else near Lauren. Bo stopped in front of them, eyeing Skye up and down.
"Who the hell are you?" Bo shouted angrily.
"Bo?" Lauren questioned confusion evident on her face. "When did you get back?"
"Yesterday"
"So you're Bo, the succubus" Skye stated, standing so she was shoulder to shoulder with Lauren, facing Bo.
"For some reason I thought you would be more… I dunno just more something" Skye said, her voice indifferent.
"Who the hell are you?" Bo growled, not liking the tone the fae was using. Or for that matter the closeness that she seemed to share with Lauren.
"Skye, this is Bo. Bo this is my girlfriend Skye"
At those words Bo tensed up. Her body language signalling to everyone in the Dahl how much contempt she had for Skye. Skye for her part, sensing potential danger, moved subtly closer to the doctor.
"Move away from her!" Bo yelled, the voices crying out for Skye's blood. _She's touching Lauren. Lauren is not to be touched by anyone but us!_ Bo snarled at Skye, advancing towards her, eyes flashing dangerously.
"What the hell Bo" Lauren yelled, her emotions finally reaching a boiling point. "You leave for a month with your new boyfriend, and you have the audacity to stand there and act like a jealous girlfriend! You left me remember? You choose him" Lauren spat, glancing towards Dyson who was standing a few meters behind Bo, watching the scene unfold.
"You dare come here and act like this! You broke my heart!" Lauren yelled her voice catching as she said those words. "And now that I've found someone else you suddenly take another interest in me?" Lauren questioned, her voice filled with disbelief. "You have no right Bo…"
"I know, but Lauren I don't trust her." Bo said, begging the doctor to understand her motivations. "What are you anyways?" Bo asked, directing her last question towards Skye.
"None of your fucking business succubus" Skye spat, her anger taking over as she saw the look of devastation on Lauren's face. Lauren couldn't look away from Bo, her Bo. She couldn't believe how much she had missed the succubus, how even though she was so upset with her, she felt more at ease then she had in a long time, merely by being in the same room as her.
Skye glared at the succubus in front of her, who couldn't seem to look anywhere but at her girlfriend. Skye was very pissed off, Lauren and Bo seemed to be locked in each other's gaze. Skye wondered if they even realized how long they had been staring at each other. Enough was enough. Bo was bad for Lauren and Skye was going to stop the succubus from encroaching on Laurens life. Skye stepped forward planting herself between the two, effectively cutting of the connection that they had.
"I think you should back off succubus"
"I think Skye, that if you don't get out of my way, I will hurt you!"
"You can try" Skye said, unafraid of what the succubus could do.
"Haha" Bo laughed the sound harsh and unforgiving. She lunged forward grabbing onto Skye and hurling her towards the wall. She smiled with satisfaction as she heard the crash of Skye's body hitting the wall that is, until she saw the look on Laurens face. Immediately knowing that what she had just done was not going to be okay with Lauren.
"Skye" Lauren yelled her voice filled with fear. She rounded on Bo. "What the hell do you think you're doing Bo?" Lauren snapped at the succubus.
"Lauren I'm sorry" Bo whispered. Lauren stepped forward pushing to succubus out of the way. As soon as her hand came into contact with Bo's body, both of them froze. The pull they both felt was almost tangible. Bo felt the urge to wrap her arms around the doctor and breathe in her scent.
Lauren was stunned; she had forgotten how strong the connection between them was. She shook her head, trying to snap out of it. Skye, she had to see if Skye was okay. Lauren pulled herself out of the succubus's grasp.
"Skye are you alright" Lauren questioned, running over and kneeling down next to her.
"I'm fine Lauren"
"Good, that's good. I think that we should go" Lauren said, looking around at the all the people staring at them.
"Yeah we should" Skye agreed, she was stunned, no one but Trick knew what had just transpired. She hadn't been thrown before, no one had ever been able to; she had never realized how much it could hurt.
Lauren helped Skye stand, her arms supporting the fae as she got back on her feet. Bo was still rooted to the spot, her arms in the air as if slowly noticing that Lauren was no longer in them. Bo walked towards the pair, taking in the damage she had caused.
"Lauren I didn't mean for that to happen" Bo said, her head bowed in shame. Hurting Skye obviously hurt Lauren, and hurting Lauren ever again was unacceptable. _She deserved it, touching our doctor. _The voices reasoned. Bo ignored them, with Lauren so close, they were easy to disregard. Her body was still humming with the contact they had shared. Bo felt energy pulse through her, having Lauren so close had been an immediate energy boast.
Lauren looked dishevelled, her hair was flying in different directions, and her face wore a mask that she used only when she couldn't handle what was happening. Seeing Bo, touching Bo, it was all too much. She had a girlfriend she was happy… Or at least she had thought she was happy. Ugh, she thought with one fucking touch Bo had managed to get her to doubt all that she had built in the past month.
Lauren glanced down at her girlfriend, for the first time unable to get a read on her emotion displayed on her face. Skye just stared at Lauren both of then not knowing what to say. Lauren quickly made a decision.
"Let's go" Lauren whispered, leading them towards the door.
"Lauren wait, I'm sorry!" Bo pleaded, knowing that she had no right to ask that of the doctor. Lauren didn't even pause as she continued to head towards the door. She walked out of the Dahl, glancing back only once to meet Bo's eyes. The look they shared said everything and nothing at the same time. The intensity was almost overbearing. Lauren broke the gaze first, leading Skye out the door and out of sight.
Bo stared, blue eyes flashing as she watched Lauren disappear from sight while she held onto Skye's arm. Bo stood there, wondering if she had just let the best thing in her life walk away. A heavy sadness filled her, her recent actions flashing before her eyes. The mistakes she had made as well as the consequences everyone had suffered. Bo wanted to scream in frustration, to hit past Bo on the head, to make her realize what she had was special: worth fighting for.
_We're going to get her back_… _No matter what the consequences_. Bo vehemently agreed with the voices. They would do what it took, to gain back what had been lost. _She will be ours again_. _Soon, very soon. _The voices promised. Yes Bo agreed, soon Lauren would be back in her arms and Skye would be nothing but a fading memory. _We protect what is ours. And Lauren, Lauren is ours._
…_._
Bo strode towards the bar, grabbing her discarded jacket. She passed Kenzi, Dyson, and Trick all who were staring as they stood by the bar. Bo put on her jacket and headed towards the door. She stopped remembering an annoyance she hadn't yet fixed.
"Were done wolf, stay away from me and from my doctor" Bo spat, meeting Dyson's eyes from across the room.
"You don't mean that Bo" Dyson pleaded, unwilling to believe that Bo could possibly want a human more than him.
"Come near me again, without my permission Dyson, and it will be the last thing you do" Bo stalked towards the door, her mind focused solely on Lauren. _We have to get her back. _Yes Bo agreed, she wouldn't feel whole again, not until Lauren was in her line of sight.
….
Kenzi sighed, what had happed was a lot better than what she had imagined. It was funny she thought, how much more in control Bo seemed to be when Lauren was near. Kenzi knew that this situation was far from over.
She could hear the strangled noises Dyson was making, but honestly how had he not noticed Bo's single minded focus on Lauren? I mean come on, she thought, it was blindingly obvious and Kenzi had seen Bo for all of a day. Dyson had spent a month with her, how had he not picked up on anything? Kenzi watched as Dyson hurled a bar stool across the room, being stopped from picking up another by Trick. Kenzi had a sinking feeling, as Dyson roared in anger, that it was just the beginning of problems for her and Bo. It was going to be a long year Kenzi mused, taking a shot of vodka, a very long year.
8. Chapter 8
Lauren gently helped Skye onto the couch. She was concerned with how much pain Skye was in.
"Skye are you sure you're alright?"
"Lauren for the thousandth time I'm fine" Skye snapped unable to reign in her frustrations.
"Fine" Lauren went to the kitchen, desperately needing a tea, or coffee, or something very alcoholic.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you" A voice called out to her from the living room
"It's fine Skye" Lauren was done. She was tired, confused and she needed to just be alone for a while. But she couldn't just leave Skye, especially when she was so clearly hurt.
Skye didn't know what to do. She had never felt this way before. She was confused; she knew what Bo ability to throw her meant. Skye had a duty to the fae, as well as the Elders. She shook her head, the succubus couldn't, well shouldn't have been able to lift her, much less toss her across the room with such ease.
Skye needed to talk to Trick, to warn him of what was to come. Skye's stomach clenched in trepidation, she just hopped Lauren would be able to forgive her for what she had to do.
"Lauren I'm going to head home"
"Skye I don't think you should go, you're hurt you might need my help" Skye tried not to wince as she stood up. She needed to talk to Trick and this might be her only chance.
"Look I'm fine Lauren and I just need some space alright" Skye said exasperated.
The look of hurt and shock that flew across Laurens face was hard to miss. Skye ignored the wave of guilt that washed over her. She had to leave, she needed to talk to Trick and quite honestly she didn't trust herself not to break down at tell Lauren what she was going to do.
"Just call me if you get worse okay?" Lauren asked, resigned to the fact that Skye was leaving.
"I promise" With that Skye left, closing the door behind her.
….
Lauren stared around the empty room, she had wanted to be alone, but now that she was everything felt so final. She collapsed onto the couch, biting her lip as she finally let go of the emotions she had held such control over when she was at the Dahl.
Bo was back. Bo missed her. Bo clearly wanted another chance. Lauren had Skye. Dyson. Bo. Skye.
"Holy shit" Lauren muttered, mind reeling with information. Lauren wanted to scream at Bo for all the pain she had caused, make her feel what Lauren had felt when she left. But she couldn't, she knew that deep down. Bo was her weakness, and her strength. Bo had given her the courage to want more out of life. She had returned Lauren's desire for a life not ruled completely by the fae. Bo had showed her there was more to life than just work. Had helped her understand that her humanity was a blessing not a curse, as it sometimes felt like living in the world of fae. And Skye, Skye had helped Lauren heal, had picked up the pieces when Bo had left.
Lauren started laughing, realizing that she had gotten out of one triangle to be pulled into another, this one centring around her. She closed her eyes, feeling a headache quickly approaching.
"Fucking triangles" she grumbled. "my least favourite shape"
….
Skye walked into the Dahl, sighing with relief when she saw Trick by the bar.
"Trick we need to talk"
"Yes" the Blood King agreed, "but not here, let's talk in the back, Hales gone home for the night" he explained.
Skye followed, wondering if he was going to actually answer her questions, or dance around the issue as he often did.
Trick stopped and faced the angry water fae.
"What would you like to know?"
"What is she?"
"She's a succubus" Skye sneered at Trick.
"We both know that no ordinary fae can throw me. She shouldn't have been able to lift me off the ground; she threw me across the room!"
Trick rubbed his face while acknowledging the truth of Skye's words.
"She shouldn't have" He agreed.
"Do you know what this means?"
"It doesn't have to mean anything"
"Do not play dumb with me Trick. She may be your granddaughter, but she is a danger to the fae!"
"You don't know that" Trick argued unwilling to agree with Skye.
"You know the legend; if a fae can lift a water spirit against their will then they have to power to bring the world to its knees! No one has ever had possessed this much power. She must be controlled before she destroys us all, fae and human alike!" Skye hissed, stepping into Tricks personal space.
"That would be unwise old friend" Trick said, his voice taking on a rarely used dangerous tone. "Do not threaten my family"
"She could kill us all old man! Me, you, Lauren! "
"That's what this is really about" Trick interrupted, "You're just worried Laurens going to go running back to Bo"
"The succubus is no danger to my relationship"
"Are you sure?" Trick asked, disbelief written on his face. He knew Bo and Lauren, and if there was one thing he had learned over the past few years it was that, no matter what happened, those two were never really over.
"Lauren isn't the issue" Skye said, her voice becoming louder as her frustration rose.
"I have to report this to the Elders; THEY will know what to do with the situation"
"NO! You know what will happen if you report this, they will try to kill her!"
"Trick" Skye sighed, unhappy with the whole situation, but knowing Trick was too close to the issue to see the answer clearly. "She is unstable and out of control, look what she did to your bar! We need to put precautions in place to protect us from exposure, and from being annihilated as the legend predicts"
"Precautions? The Elders form of precautions is life imprisonment!"
"It must be reported Trick, what she did was impossible. This cannot be left alone, or else everyone will pay the price for your delusions!"
Skye rotated, determined to warn the elders of the potential danger. She paused at the sound of Trick's voice.
"If you do this, do you really think Lauren will every forgive you?" He questioned quietly, using the last bit of ammunition he had against Skye.
Skye closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath, "It must be done Blood King. Lauren will see that, eventually."
"And if she doesn't"
"Then it will be my price to pay" Skye stated walking out the door. She couldn't shake Tricks words as she journeyed to her car. Would Lauren still be with her if Bo suffered because of her actions? Lauren was special and Skye didn't want to lose her. NO, she thought I have to protect my people. Lauren will understand she's a doctor she has to see the danger Bo poses.
….
Bo strode the length of the kitchen, pacing as she tried to work out what to do. Lauren was angry with her, as she had every right to be. Bo had been an ass. She glanced at the flowers and chocolates she had picked up. Ugh Bo, that's not really going to get her to forgive you! Hey Lauren, these are for breaking you're heart and choosing a wolf over you! Yeah that was going to go over well. Hmm Bo mused, I wonder if hallmark has a card for this.
I have so much to make up for Bo thought. But she couldn't let Lauren go, the feeling of having Lauren in her arms again. No, Bo knew what mistakes she had made; she would do anything to get Lauren back. Bo recognized that it was too late to suddenly be having all of these feelings but her timing, while it sucked, was what it was.
In her time away from Lauren, she had learned two things. One Australia was beautiful, and two Bo couldn't be happy without Lauren in her life. Bo was aware of the damage she had caused and she didn't want Lauren to think she expected her to take her back with open arms. Bo just wanted to be near the doctor, to be friends, to be whatever Lauren would let her be.
Bo steeled herself, her resolve to start making amends to Lauren prompting her to type out a message.
Lauren I'm so sorry for what happened. I know it's asking too much, but can I please see you too explain in person? I would completely understand if you said no, I just want to tell you how truly sorry I am for everything that's happened and the pain that I've caused.
-Bo.
Bo's finger hovered over the send button. Come on Bo grow a pair, she growled at herself. What if she doesn't want to see me? She shouldn't. I mean I picked someone else over her. Bo started pacing again, her body unable to sit still.
Bo's phone went off, swoosh, message sent.
Bo glanced down at her phone in surprise. _You're welcome, _the voices whispered.
Hey! I was going to hit send.
_Of course you were. _
I might have… eventually. I was working my way up to it! Bo protested, silently thanking the voices for their help.
Bo stared at her phone; all she had to do now was wait and see if Lauren would reply.
9. Chapter 9
She's not a rebound Lauren, she's… nice. Then what is she Lauren? God, Lauren had no idea how she was feeling. She liked Skye, a lot... and yet she couldn't stop her eyes from seeking out Bo the minute they were in the same room. How, whenever Bo was around, she felt safer.
Lauren was lost, she loved Bo and a part of her always would. But she really cared for Skye, and she wondered if it could eventually turn into love. Bo had hurt her so badly while Skye had been there for her. Lauren sighed; she was tired of trying to clear the murky thoughts that were clogging up her brain.
Bo, she had missed her so much. And now she was back, acting extremely jealous and territorial. Lauren as a rule didn't like jealous people, they seemed insecure, but with Bo it was… well it was hot. Lauren felt special, and a part of her felt wanted when jealous Bo made an appearance. Skye didn't get jealous she trusted Lauren to know what she wanted, and quite honestly, Lauren thought, that might not have been the smartest idea.
Lauren's phone went off, drawing her attention to a new message from Bo.
Lauren I'm so sorry for what happened. I know it's asking too much, but can I please see you too explain in person? I would completely understand if you said no, I just want to tell you how truly sorry I am for everything that's happened and the pain that I've caused.
-Bo.
"Ugh" Lauren yelled throwing her phone on the couch, immediately knowing that she was going to meet up with Bo. This could be a horrible mistake, but a tiny part of Lauren wanted to see the succubus. Wanted to look into her eyes and get lost in them. Lauren felt such a pull to Bo, like there was this force that drew her in whenever they were close proximity to one another. Even when Bo did something incredibly stupid or dangerous making Lauren so angry, she found it so difficult to stay away from Bo. She often wondered if Bo felt it too.
….
Bo sighed, staring at the photo in her hand. It was of Lauren, wearing her lab coat, sitting in her lab. She had been so engrossed with her work; Bo doubted she knew that the picture was even taken. Bo silently pleaded to the universe for Lauren to meet her. She wanted, no needed to see Lauren, to apologize, to breathe in her scent, to just be in the same room as her. Bo missed her, she felt different without Lauren around, like somehow she was less Bo. But Bo couldn't stop the painful twinge of her heart every time she thought of the pain she put the doctor through. Bo you are an idiot, you had something amazing and you just threw it away ya moron, she told herself.
Now there was this new beautiful fae telling Lauren all the things she deserved to hear and yet Bo couldn't find it within herself to be happy for Lauren. The rational part of Bo realized that Skye was good for Lauren. She treated her well, respected her, cared for her, but she wasn't Bo. The rest of Bo was so against the idea of Lauren with anyone other than her that it was hard to even think about. She knew that it was unfair, knew that she had played Lauren and Dyson at the same time, and had made tons of mistakes. But still Bo was too selfish to give let Lauren go a second time without a fight. She needed her doctor, with legs that went on for miles, and gorgeous hair and… focus Bo.
She knew that this wouldn't fix everything. Bo just needed to tell Lauren that she was sorry and that she loved.
Lauren took a deep breathe, gathering her courage before knocking on Bo's door. She couldn't help the breathe that caught in her throat as Bo flung the door open. They just stood there taking in each other's appearance both too wrapped up in their thoughts to speak.
"Umm please come in" Bo stuttered, stepping back to let her in.
"Thanks" Lauren said, brushing by Bo, their bodies shivering at the light contact. Lauren internally promised herself to avoid all contact with Bo, knowing that it wasn't a good idea.
"Would you like something to drink? We have water, alcohol, but I think Kenzi has drunk most of the wine."
"No but thank you Bo" Lauren whispered the last part, noticing the slight flare in Bo's eyes when she had said her name.
"Please sit" Bo said, gesturing to the couch, preparing herself for whatever reaction Lauren might have. They both sat down, their eyes struggling to look everywhere but at each other. But at the same time they both were failing spectacularly. Bo's eyes seemed locked onto Lauren, and the doctor wasn't much better.
"Lauren I need to tell you, I just want you to know how very sorry I am"
"Sorry? Sorry for what Bo, for leaving me, for choosing Dyson, for threatening my girlfriend? Or is it that someone else might want me that you have a problem with?" The questions remained there, hanging in the silence that followed her outburst. Bo's head was bowed as she acknowledged all the hard truths that Lauren had shared. Lauren was almost sad, no part of her enjoyed hurting Bo, but it was about time the succubus was forced to confront the consequences of her actions.
"Lauren… I'm sorry for all of it. For abandoning you, leaving without saying goodbye. But most of all I am truly sorry for hurting you. I never meant to, I know that sounds cliché, but it's true. If I could take back what I did, I would."
"What are you saying Bo?" Lauren questioned her face scrunching as she tried to understand what the succubus was trying to tell her.
"I should never have picked Dyson. I don't love him Lauren. I mean of course I care for him" Bo said in a rush, catching the look of disbelief of Laurens face.
"I don't feel for him what I feel for you. God Lauren I can sense you from almost a block away, did you know that? I can't feel anyone's aura quite as strongly as yours. I understand that it doesn't mean that much now, that you've umm moved on, but I just want you to know that I love you. That I couldn't imagine my life without you in it, and I'm so grateful for what you've shared with me." Bo took a huge breath of air, determined to finish what she needed to say.
"I don't expect anything from this" Bo assured the stunned doctor.
"I realize how selfish this makes me, I mean professing my love for you when you have someone else. I just can't not tell you! If something ever happened to either one of us and you didn't know how I felt about you it would destroy me. So what I wanted to say was I'm sorry, and I love you and I think I always will." Lauren couldn't speak, all of the words Bo had shared, swirling around in her brain. She just sat there staring at Bo, Bo who seemed unable to look anywhere but Lauren.
Lauren couldn't believe what she had heard. Bo loved her? The news made Laurens heart swell, as she realized how important Bo's love was to her. Lauren couldn't supress the widespread grin that stretched across her face. She didn't know what happed to her but in that moment she couldn't do anything to stop her actions. She gave into the pull she always felt with Bo, lunging forward and smashing their lips together in a fiery passion filled moment.
Bo responded immediately unwilling to let this moment with Lauren to go to waste. She didn't understand the doctor's motives, she just enjoyed the moment. Too soon Lauren pulled away, her eyes frantically searching Bo's. Bo smiled gently, keeping her hands on Lauren. Lauren slowly let her hands drop from their place on Bo's face.
"Lauren" Bo whispered, her feelings written all over her face. Bo didn't want to think about what would happen if Lauren said that it had been a mistake. Bo hadn't felt that alive and happy in months, not since the last time they had been together.
"Bo that was amazing" Lauren stated, she wanted to tell her it was a mistake, but the moment she met Bo's eyes she forgot what she was going to say.
Bo leaned forward, kissing Lauren again, her body almost vibrating with happiness. This is it, Bo thought, this is what it was supposed to be like with Dyson, this connection.
Lauren knew she should feel guilty, but she was so consumed with happiness, and desire that there was no room left for anything else. Things were quickly escalating, they always did with the two of them, but Lauren felt a nagging voice in the back of her head that told her she had to stop this before they did something they couldn't undo. Lauren for all her faults wasn't a cheater.
"Bo we can't"
"I think we can" Bo said, breathlessly, unable to tear herself away from Lauren.
Lauren pulled back turning her body away from Bo so she couldn't continue kissing her.
"Bo this isn't a good idea"
"I know, I just can't help myself around you Lauren" Bo stated running one of her hands through her hair. Lauren was filling up her sense and she was quickly losing control of all her rational thought.
Lauren wanted to be the person who immediately thought of their girlfriend, and all the reasons that cheating on them would be a bad idea, but apparently she wasn't. Lauren thought of Skye but it did nothing to weaken her desire for Bo. Skye, beautiful kind Skye who had never hurt her, but Lauren knew that at this moment she was hurting Skye. But when Lauren looked into the eyes of her succubus, eyes that were full of hope, desire, and even love, Lauren did nothing to pull away from her grasp.
It was like there was an invisible thread stretching between the two of them.
"I have a girlfriend, and you, you have a boyfriend. We shouldn't be doing this Bo! Especially when I'm still so hurt, and mad at you" Lauren stated lightly slapping Bo on the arm.
At that moment they both knew that Lauren was well on her way to forgiving Bo. She shouldn't so quickly but when she was near Bo all the anger, the hurt that she had been carrying faded away. And without that Lauren couldn't find it within herself to feel the emotions.
"Bo I have to go, Skye's going to wonder where I am" Lauren thought by mentioning her name, it would shock both of them out of the bubble they were in
"What! Lauren no! Don't go, stay with me please? You make everything calm, can we… can we just watch TV or something please?" Bo asked giving Lauren her best puppy dog eyes.
"Fine" Lauren laughed unable to fight against the power that was Bo's sad eyes.
"Okay Bo, but then we have to talk. I mean actually talk without the kissing"
"I promise" Bo said, joy clearly evident in her voice.
With that they both leaned back, Bo's arm wrapped protectively around Lauren's shoulder, pulling her closer. The voices in Bo's head stayed quite, with Lauren so close they were content to let Bo stay in control.
"God Lauren I've missed you so much" Bo said, pulling Lauren closer to her.
"I missed you too" Lauren whispered a sense of calmness washed over her as Bo's arms remained wrapped around her. Their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together as they sat there on the couch both pretending to take an interest in the television screen in front of them.
….
Kenzi walked into the room stopping as she took in the sight before her. Lauren and Bo were asleep curled into one another. Bo had spread out so her body almost covered Lauren's protecting her from the surrounding world. Kenzi watched as they lay there quietly fitting perfectly together. She wondered what would happen when they woke up and had to face the real world. Kenzi just wished that the Doc and Bo could finally have the happiness they deserved.
...
Skye pushed open the doors that would allow her out of the claustrophobic room. She stormed down the hallways towards the lab, ignoring the shouts of the angry fae behind her. As she strode by the water fountain gurgled the water seemingly sensing her unhappiness. Lauren I have to find Lauren Skye vowed. Throwing open the doors to the lab. I have to find her and warn her. Those fools Skye spat, angry at herself for thinking they would remain calm when she told them the news. Skye searched the lab her fears confirmed when she realized Lauren wasn't there. Skye prayed that when the Elders sent out the orders for the succubus's arrest that Lauren wasn't with her. But with a sinking feeling in her gut, she realized that tonight was not going to end as she had hoped.
10. Chapter 10
"Bo" Lauren questioned rubbing the sleep from her eyes "What's going on?"
"Lauren we have to go"
"Go where?"
"Trick called he said it's urgent that I get to the Dahl. He sounded worried" Bo bounced from foot to foot filled with restless energy.
Lauren stood, placing her hands on Bo's shoulders
"Hey it's going to be alright" she said quietly. Bo stopped moving the instant the doctor touched her. Bo let herself get lost in Lauren's eyes as a wave of calm washed over her.
"Do you think he's hurt?" Bo asked worriedly her fear for her grandfather showing through
"Trick is strong Bo. I'm sure he's fine, but if Trick said it was urgent we should leave now" Lauren stated moving to gather her things
"Lauren wait"
"Bo what is it?"
"I umm I don't think you should come with me"
"Why not Bo?" Lauren questioned the hurt evident in her voice. She stared at the ground unwilling to let Bo see the pain that was in her eyes. Bo realizing her mistake jumped forward to pull the unmoving doctor into a hug.
"It's not what you think" Bo exclaimed desperately
"What is it then Bo" Bo flinched at the harsh tone in Laurens voice
"What if it's dangerous or something happen's Lauren I don't want you to get hurt!" Bo wasn't willing to risk the doctor's safety. If something happened to Lauren Bo wouldn't be able to survive.
"I'll be fine Bo"
"I'm not sure I'm strong enough to protect you!" Lauren stepped into Bo's space gently lifting the succubus's face to stare into her eyes, wanting to wipe away the pain she saw swirling in the depths of her eyes.
"Hey I'll be fine. Just trust me Bo?" Bo took in the sight of the doctor in front of her.
"I'd trust you with anything" It was true Bo couldn't help the depth of trust she had for the doctor. It would be like not trusting herself.
"Good. Now let's go see Trick" Lauren smiled at the puppy dog eyes Bo was trying to use against her, but she wasn't about to back down.
"Okay" Bo finally agreed. _Fear not, we shall keep her safe. We shall protect all of us. _Yes Bo agreed, together we will protect what we love.
….
Skye sat with the Elders waiting for word on the hunting party that had been sent after Bo. The doors opened and the captain entered, bowing his head to the Elders
"Elders I come bearing news, the succubus was not at any of the places you assigned us to look"
"So you returned empty handed?" Skye questioned unbelieving
"Or orders were very specific" the captain growled "We were to search nowhere else"
Who would have tipped her off Skye pondered, no it couldn't be even he wasn't that big of a fool. But when it came to family, he was Skye realized. She stood drawing the attention of the Elders.
"I know where the succubus is hiding. She is with the blood king at his bar" Skye snarled unhappy with this turn of events. She walked towards the captain
"I shall come with you to make sure no mistakes are made" Skye stated bowing at the door to the Elders.
"See that it is done" The voices of the Elders called after her as she lead the company of fighters down the long hallway. If she has claimed sanctuary I'm going to throw the little king out the window Skye muttered darkly ushering the hunting party forward.
….
"Bo where are you" Trick questioned uneasily eyeing to entrance to the Dahl. It wouldn't take long for Skye to put the pieces together and come knocking on his door. Bo needed to be here to be able to claim sanctuary. If they caught her outside he could do nothing to help her.
Bo entered the bar followed closely by Lauren and Kenzi.
"Trick" Bo called making a beeline for where he was. Bo looked around the empty bar wondering what the latest emergency was.
"What's going on gramps?"
"Bo you must claim sanctuary before they get here"
"Before who gets here?"
"They hunting party the Elders have most likely sent. They aren't warriors you want to mess with. They're born and raised to finish their missions no matter the price.
"Trick I don't understand who is after Bo?" Lauren questioned the Blood king trying to understand what was going on.
"Skye has informed the light fae Elders what Bo has done"
"Skye?" Lauren asked unsure
"What have I done" Bo wondered aloud glancing at Kenzi as they tried to remember any transgressions the succubus had committed lately.
"You threw a water spirit, one of the oldest water spirits actually"
"Oh no" Lauren whispered her face turning deathly pale
"And that's bad?" Bo asked, as she turned to take in Laurens appearance.
"Lauren are you okay?" Bo worriedly guided Lauren to a seat. The trembling of the doctor was scaring Bo more than she would have liked.
"Do you want some water I can get you anything" Bo was so focused on Lauren she forgot about Trick and Kenzi. "Please Lauren is there anything I can do, do you need a doctor?" Bo was starting to panic, Lauren was human what if she got sick, Bo could fight any enemy but how to you battle being sick. Kenzi watched in concern as her best friend had a freak out right in front of her.
"I'm fine Bo" Lauren reassured her smiling despite the circumstances, Bo looked like she was about to drag Lauren off to the nearest hospital.
"I just should have put it together sooner"
"Put what together Lauren?"
"Skye's is a water fae"
"SO" Bo was beginning to get agitated what was the big deal about Skye. Bo just didn't see the appeal.
"Bo calm down" Trick intervened. "The legend holds that water fae are extremely powerful beings and like the sea they are hard to bend to anyone's will but their own. It was prophesised that one would be born strong enough to move the sea and unite the warring fae under one ruler."
"So they think I'm this all powerful dictator coming to take over the light and dark fae? Trick I didn't move the sea I just tossed Skye across the room"
"She is the embodiment of the sea" Lauren said softly wondering what this would mean for Bo.
"What do we do Trick" Lauren questioned worriedly eyeing the door
"You claim sanctuary so I have enough time to research and find an answer to this problem"
"Yo Trick" Kenzi decided it was time to speak up "Bo already threw this sea fae person or whatever, so who exactly is going to becoming after succubo cause she can handle it"
"Skye has told the Elders"
"No!" Lauren shouted unable to believe the words that Trick said. Lauren was stunned Skye would have known what they would do to Bo and yet she still told them. She tried not to show it but this new bit of information shook her to her core.
"I'm sorry Lauren I tried to get her to understand what she was doing but she claimed it was her duty to the fae to report it."
"I'm sure you did you're best Trick" Lauren nodded at him but she was still off in a world of her own.
Bo rubbed Laurens shoulder hoping to soothe the sudden tension from the doctor's body. She wanted to comfort Lauren but she wasn't sure how.
"Trick I claim sanctuary" Bo said almost absentmindedly her attention on the doctor and no one else.
He nodded at his granddaughter a sigh of relief escaping him. He knew it would only be a few more minutes before hell herself came knocking on the door. Trick prayed that they were ready to face whatever was to come.
….
"There she is" Skye snarled pointing towards the group huddled around the bar. Trick stepped forward
"She has claimed sanctuary, you cannot do anything to her while she is here under my protection"
"You foolish old man do you know what you've done!"
The hunters shifted uneasily on their feet. They were made for finishing missions, to see their prey standing mere feet away from them while they were unable to act was beginning to get to them
"Skye? What are you doing here?" Lauren asked
"Lauren Bo is a danger. The Elders have ordered her arrest"
"The Elders or you?" Trick questioned glaring at the offending fae taking up space in his bar.
"The Elders" The captain finally spoke his deep voice vibrating off of the walls
"We have be ordered to apprehend Bo the succubus"
"Good luck with that" Kenzi shouted from her place near the bar.
"Sanctuary has been claimed" Trick stated for the second time
"As you say Blood King" the captain replied nodding his head in Tricks direction, "But be warned we shall return for our prey" The group of hunters turned as one towards the door. Snarls could be heard from them as they marched out, exerting all of their will power to respect the rules of sanctuary.
Lauren rounded on Skye her eyes blazing with anger
"Did you do this? Did you report Bo to the Elders?" Lauren shouted unable to accept Skye's decision
"She is the one of the prophecy I owe it to my race to report it. It's written in the laws Lauren" Skye said her eyes desperately seeking out Laurens
"Please understand I did what I had to. It wasn't meant to hurt you Lauren"
"No it was meant to hurt Bo"
At those words everyone fell silent taking in all that had transpired within the last few hours.
"How could you do this?" Lauren asked quietly her body filled with hurt and betrayal
"Lauren" Skye said stepping forward. Bo moved slightly putting herself between the doctor and the water fae. Skye stopped moving glaring daggers at the succubus who had blocked her access to Lauren.
"I think you should move succubus"
"I don't think I will" Bo snarled her body tensing. Skye was a threat and she wasn't about to let anyone who was a potential threat anywhere near the doctor. Lauren rested her hand on Bo's shoulder stopping her from attacking Skye.
"Bo calm down" She stated firmly feeling Bo begin to settle
"Can we please talk Lauren, without the succubus present?" Skye asked throwing an angry glance at the succubus.
"Fine but then you must leave this bar"
"Deal" Skye would have agreed to anything to get Lauren to talk to her.
"Oh hell no Lauren she's dangerous!" Bo exclaimed
"And you're so stable right succubus" Skye stated in disbelief.
"It's my decision Bo, please respect that" Lauren stepped around Bo and lead Skye away from them and stopped right by the door.
Bo remained rooted to the spot angrily watching Skye waiting for a sign that Lauren was in danger.
"Woah there Bo Bo Hot Pants has got this" Kenzi said finally putting her faith in the doctor who had captured her friend's heart.
"Why would you do this Skye" Lauren questioned as they stood facing each other
"She's a danger to everyone if the prophecy comes true"
"Why didn't you tell me before you ran off to the Elders?"
"I thought… I thought if I told you, you'd tell the succubus" Skye muttered
"So you went behind my back to ensure Bo's capture"
"It wasn't like that Lauren! You're safer if she's locked up and controlled"
"You have no right to attack Bo"
"Why are you defending her!"
"Because she's my friend and I care for her. But more importantly why did you betray me!" At this point they were practically shouting at each other.
"You still have feelings for her" Skye snarled
"Is this what it's really about? You wanted Bo arrested so what?The competition was out of the way?" Lauren asked in disbelief
"That's not what happened!" Skye growled desperately needing Lauren to understand her reasons. She had done it for them. She reached forward latching onto Laurens shoulders as if to shake her.
"Listen to me" Skye began but stopped suddenly as Bo appeared out of nowhere
"I'd let the doctor go" She snarled shoving the water fae away from Lauren. Bo turned so she was between them with her back to Skye.
"you okay?" She asked softly completely ignoring Skye
"Yes" Lauren gently rubbed her shoulder where Skye had grabbed her. She was beginning to realize there was a lot more to the water fae then she had originally thought. Bo noticed the way Lauren touched her shoulder and she twisted to face Skye ready to attack her. Lauren saw what has inevitably going to ensure and she wrapped her arms around Bo's stomach
"I think you should leave Skye" Trick intervened wanting to stop the fight before it started. "You are no longer welcome here"
"Fine" Skye spat shooting the doctor one more pleading look before storming out the door.
Bo spun taking in sad expression on Laurens face
"Lauren hey" Bo said sensing a possible meltdown. Bo pulled her in for a hug.
"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere" She soothed, letting Laurens scent wash all over her.
"Bo you're in danger the things they could do to you and and Skye…. she how could she do that?" Lauren shuddered the day taking her toll on her body.
"Listen the Elders can find another fae who fits their prophecy. I'm going to stay right here with you okay? And Skye, she's an idiot. I never liked her" Lauren couldn't help but laugh before she remembered what else they had to worry about.
"Bo" Lauren said, needing to get the succubus to understand the severity of the situation. Lauren pushed at the body in front of her hoping to get out from Bo's arms. Bo merely squeezed tighter refusing to let the doctor go.
"Bo let go!" Lauren shouted slapping Bo lightly on the back
"No" Bo stated simply, rubbing her nose against Laurens neck "I like you just where you are"
"Bo this is serious we need to make a plan"
"We will but you smell really good" Bo mumbled into her neck her attraction building. How had she let so much time passed since she last touched Lauren.
Lauren felt her desire start to build but she ignored it. Things were already complicated enough they had too much to deal with, without adding this in the mix. As mad as she was at Skye they were still technically together and they needed to talk. Lauren pushed Bo's face up so that they were staring into each other's eyes.
"Hey" Lauren whispered losing her train of thought as soon as they locked eyes.
"Hey"
"We need umm we need to make a plan" Lauren said breathlessly while running her hands up and down Bo's arms.
Bo smiled at the spike in Laurens aura happy with the effect she had on her. Bo leaned forward so her mouth was right beside the doctor's ear.
"You're aura is delicious doctor" Laurens body shuddered at the sound of Bo's voice as her lips lightly grazed Laurens ear.
"Booooo" she murmured "You need to stop touching me so I can focus"
"But I like touching you" Bo whined like a little kid.
"Bo people came to arrest you don't you think we should focus on that"
"The only thing I want to focus on is you" Bo stated simply
Lauren melted at the words Bo said. She felt the smile as it spread across her face, being so close to Bo brought out a light-headedness that, as a doctor she found a bit concerning. She gently ran her hands along Bo's face running her finger over Bo's lips. Lauren pulled her closer smashing their lips together, completely forgetting where they were. Bo responded eagerly running her tongue along Laurens lips as she deepened the kiss. Bo moaned into the kiss as Lauren filled up all of her senses.
Trick watched as his granddaughter kissed the doctor. He tensed as he saw a tiny spark of gold flash as their lips meet. It happened so quickly Trick wanted to believe he imagined it. But as he looked at the two kissing in front of him he had a very bad feeling that what he saw was real.
"This is bad very bad" Trick muttered walking quickly away from the two of them. He prayed that there was an answer in one of his books. He heard Kenzi voice as he wandered into the back.
"Yo succuface release Hot pants we gots to talk"
Trick had a sinking feeling that everything was about to change.
11. Chapter 11
**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost Girl**
…**.**
"Nothing there's nothing here!" Trick roared his anger into the universe throwing his book across the room.
"Whoa there Trickster what's with the flying book spree?"
"I can't find the answer Kenzi" Tricks desperation leaking into his voice
"It's happening all over again and once more I cannot protect my family. The prophecy will come true and I will be sitting by helpless as the fae crumble around me"
"Who said anything about crumbling?"
"It was destined that she would come to overtake the light and dark, gaining power through gold, until darkness fell. While the King stands by chained in the dark as shadows overtake the world."
"Chains, that's creepy in a not fun way"
"It's a metaphor Kenzi, translated it simply means I will be unable to prevent it"
"Come on Trick do you honestly think that Bo would try to overtake the fae. I think you should have more faith in your granddaughter. I mean have these prophecies ever not come true?"
"No but often they are misinterpreted and come about in ways that were unforeseeable"
"Then why are you so convinced that my girl Bo is gonna go all evil?"
"I was unable to prevent my daughter from falling into the darkness how can I possibly guard Bo from the shadows" Kenzi remained silent for a few minutes mulling her thoughts and getting them in order.
"Bo's got us to keep her safe. She's got me, you, his Ashliness, Dyson, and Hot Pants. Were her family and we can get her though all of this together. She has all this support Trick with us around she won't fall, we won't let her."
"I hope you're right"
"I'm Kenzi I'm always right. Now let's go back out there before those two defile the very bar I drink from!"
"Lead the way" Trick found himself believing the tiny human who had weaseled her way into the fae world. Kenzi has more sense than all of us Trick muttered following her back towards the bar.
….
"Lauren" Bo moaned her mouth sealed to the doctor. Bo had Lauren pressed up against the wall as their tongues battled. Bo couldn't describe the feelings that were coursing through her at this moment. It was like being this close to the doctor brought out this sense of belonging, something Bo had been searching for her entire life.
"Promise me you're not going to get yourself killed" Lauren demanded as Bo trailed kisses down her neck.
"Why would that upset you doctor?"
"Don't joke Bo if something happened to you…" Lauren couldn't imagine her life without the succubus in it.
"Hey Lauren look at me, look at me please. I promise I'm not going to let anyone take me away from you okay?"
"Promise?" Lauren couldn't suppress the slight tremble of her voice as she asked Bo that. She knew that it sounded a little pathetic but well it was Bo and when it came to Bo Lauren wasn't very good at controlling her emotions.
"I promise" Bo vowed touching her forehead against Laurens as they stood there resting both panting to try and catch their breathe.
"Bo what about Skye and the Elders? What about my girlfriend? What about Dyson? There's so much to talk about and were standing here making out?"
"In fairness to us, we are very good kissers" Bo stated peppering kisses all over Laurens face
"BO!"
"Sorry. Lauren I don't know what to tell you. The Elders can send all the teams they want but trust me with Trick's help we will figure something out."
"And Dyson?" Lauren forced herself to ask the question even though Bo's answer would possibly break her heart all over again.
"He's history Lauren we broke up the night I ran into you and Skye at the bar."
"So what you saw us at the bar and got jealous and broke up with him. Is that supposed to make me feel better Bo?" Lauren pushed at the succubus wanting to create some space between them so she could regain control of her thoughts.
"It wasn't like that"
"Really cause it sounds like you saw someone else take an interest in me and decided to win me back. I don't know Bo. I just thought that when you came back after being gone so long that maybe you broke up because you missed me not because you were jealous. Bo you were the one who picked someone else over me!"
"I was scared okay! Dyson would look at me with those puppy dog eyes full of love and hope I just couldn't break his heart, not when we were half way around the world." Lauren tried again to get space but Bo refused to budge, standing firmly in the way
"I should have broken up with him the minute I saw how much it hurt you. When I realized that what I felt for him was completely overshadowed by my feelings towards you. Seeing you with Skye just made me realize how stupid I had been. How much I had hurt you, you deserve so much better than how I've treated you. I'm so sorry" Bo had tears starting to form as her emotions hit her. Bo stared at the love of her life standing inches away from her.
"For a succubus you're an idiot" Lauren mumbled drawing the succubus in for a hug. The speech Bo had given had warmed her heart. She understood that she should still be mad and upset at Bo. But in the moment, with Bo so close laying her heart on the line, Lauren couldn't find it within herself to think of the past. All she could focus on was the beautiful person standing in front of her. For the first time in months all Lauren could think of was the future that they could have
"I love you Lauren" Bo said tears streaming down her face.
"I love you too"
"Haha were quiet the pair aren't we?" Bo laughed herself and the doctor with tears running down their faces
"I think we should make out some more" Bo stated officially breaking up the emotional moment. Lauren smiled at the succubus as their lips meet, both women putting all of their pent up feelings towards one another into that one single kiss.
….
"Whoa" Kenzi stopped abruptly taking in her best friend who had the doctor pinned against the door. They were so fixated on one another Kenzi doubted that they even noticed her.
"Holy shit. Trick are they supposed to be glowing?" Swirls of gold lights randomly illuminated the pair, but Bo and Lauren appeared oblivious to it.
"No no this is very bad. Kenzi we must separate them now!" Trick shouted
"You sure Trick" Kenzi asked hesitantly "Cause I don't think Bo would appreciate being crotch blocked especially when Hot Pants is involved"
"Kenzi trust me this needs to stop before it goes any further"
"Okayyyy then Kenzi to the rescue; protect the alcohol Trickster I'm going in!" Kenzi cautiously approached them ensuring she stayed well out of reach of the succubus.
"BO!" Kenzi yelled startling Bo and the doctor.
"What Kenzi" Bo asked angrily eyes flashing at the person with the audacity to interrupt her and Lauren.
"Trick says we need to talk proto so you guys are gonna have to succubang later… and maybe in a room without me in it?" Bo rolled her eyes at her friend, twisting back to Lauren and capturing her lips again.
"Trick can wait" She pressed herself up against the doctor, growling at all the layers of clothing that separated them
"No Bo, Bo stop" Lauren said breathlessly, desperately trying to remember why they needed to stop.
"Come on the sooner we talk to Trick the sooner we can get back to this okay?" Lauren bargained with the succubus who merely groaned quickly pecking her lips. Bo grabbed Lauren's hand moodily storming over to where Trick was.
"Thank god" Kenzi muttered as she rubbed her eyes resigning herself to the fact that some sights could never be unseen.
….
Trick wearily sized up his granddaughter as he stood with one of the ancient texts laid out in front of him. Nothing separated him and the woman before him but the counter of the bar. He watched as Bo guided Lauren into a stool standing with her hands around the doctor as they looked at him expectantly. This must be done he reminded himself, no matter what, this time he would not fail. Trick cleared his throat
"I have found out some imperative information that pertains to the situation at hand"
"Well what is it Trickster don't leave a sister hanging!" Kenzi exclaimed
"I've translated the last part of the prophecy and I have figured out a way to prevent it"
"That's amazing Trick" Bo exclaimed enthusiastically hugging Lauren from behind.
"I told you Lauren, I told you that Trick would figure something out!" Lauren gazed up at Bo, the happiness radiating from her becoming contagious
"You were right Bo" Lauren whispered both getting lost in each other
"Ahem" Trick cleared his throat, snapping Lauren and Bo out of their spell
"It's not that simple Bo" Trick began attempting to get Bo to listen.
"But it is Trick, as long as we all stick together we can get through this!"
"You're wrong Bo" Trick's voice rang out cutting through all of them. His words settled leaving behind a trail of silence and uneasiness
"What do you mean?" Kenzi tentatively questioned the stoic Blood King.
"The key to solving the prophecy isn't sticking together it is staying apart"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Bo was beginning to get agitated Trick was freaking her out but worst of all he was worrying Lauren, Bo could feel it. No one, not even her grandfather, was going to make Lauren uncomfortable. Bo moved so she was standing side by side with Lauren folding her arms and waiting for Trick to continue.
"I've looked at it and the light and dark will leave you alone as long as you agree to one thing. Bo this would save you from persecution!"
"If this is such good news why do you look so upset?" Bo questioned appreciating the gentle hand that had wound it's around her fingers.
Trick looked at Bo and Lauren's connected hands, and the gold glow that was coming off of them. He needed to act quickly before the bond was solidified.
"You have to stay away from Lauren" Trick whispered looking down unwilling to see the betrayal and hurt he was sure was going to be in his granddaughters eyes
"WHAT!" Lauren jumped up grabbing Bo and preventing her from lunging at Trick.
"You dare tell me to stay away from her" Bo snarled her eyes flashing blue with rage.
"Bo Bo calm down. Trick explain yourself and quickly before Bo hurts someone" Kenzi stated. Confusion surrounded the whole group as they tried to process what Trick was saying.
"Bo you fit every aspect of the prophecy except one piece. The golden conection. If you don't complete that there is no way it could be you. The fae know this, you would be safe." Trick's eyes looked pleadingly at Bo, willing her to understand. Bo merely stared at him, almost as if she wasn't really seeing him. Trick had never seen Bo look at him with suck disdain before.
"Trick dude talk faster, explain more" Kenzi shouted trying to convey to Trick that Bo was very close to snapping and without Lauren there Kenzi was pretty sure he would have been thrown across the room by now.
"The gold link refers to a bond between two people. It's much like a marriage bond, but when completed they can feel each other's emotions. It is said to be unbreakable once formed, although no one really knows" Tricks voice trailed off as he got lost in his thoughts
"Why are you unsure of your facts?" Lauren questioned tearing her eyes away from the succubus to focus on Trick.
"Because the last gold bonded couple died over a fourteen centuries ago. There are many legends, offering different explanations with different powers. Some say they hear each other's thoughts, one feels pain so does the other, some say they can know where the other is at all times…It has been so long the stories have become legends. I cannot honestly tell you what the golden bond really entails."
"So what it's a love bond?" Kenzi asked curiously
"Basically it connects two souls forever"
"What does that have to do with Lauren and Bo?" Kenzi asked feeling like she was missing something.
"Legend says that when the bond recognizes its other half, when they touch they will glow gold." Trick pointed to the gold shimmer around Bo and Lauren's hands
"Holy Shit Bo Lauren you guys are soul bond thingys that's so cool" Kenzi shouted pointing to their hands. Lauren and Bo, both stared at their hands before meeting each other's eyes.
"This is a lot" Lauren stated uneasily, what if Bo freaked out? Lauren wasn't sure she could handle it. Bo sensing Lauren's unease hugged her
"I think it feels right" Bo whispered into her ear. Lauren smiled into Bo's neck unwilling to let her go
"It is said to be an extremely powerful connection. Although the side effects of a bonding between a human and fae must be closely examined. I would have thought it impossible…"
"Why didn't this happen before Trick? We've known each other for years now" Lauren questioned her mind to curious to shut down
"From what I've read it can only be formed when there is complete trust between the two allowing the bond to present itself."
"That makes sense" Lauren said thinking back on her past with Bo. It had been filled with lies and heartache.
"If this is so powerful why do you want to keep us apart" Bo spoke her eyes cold
"If you complete the bond there will be no doubt that it is you. They will hunt you to then ends of the earth. Bo you are destined to destroy them!" Trick took a deep breathe knowing what he was about to say could turn Bo against him, but it had to be done.
"If you do this they will come after Lauren and not you Bo. She is human, they will kill her just to stop you" The room froze as Trick's words sunk in. Bo slowly unwound herself from Lauren turning to the Blood King.
"Listen Blood Kind and head my words. No one will hurt Lauren not while I'm here. If you come near her again I will kill you, blood or not. Stay away from me old man or suffer the consequences" Bo eyes were solid blue as she turned her back on Trick. _He is a danger to us. _We will watch him careful Bo promised. She was so enraged that even Lauren's presence couldn't keep the voices away.
"Bo hey honey calm down" Lauren grabbed Bo's face in her hands, gently placing a kiss on her lips
"We can get through this, and if the best way to keep you safe is to stay away then" Lauren gulped forcing her tears back "Then that's what we're going to do"
"NO!" Bo roared "I'm not letting you go. I don't care about them, there is no way were less powerful apart. I feel lost without you Lauren. I need you" Bo's brokenly whispered. Lauren analyzed the situation in front of her desperate to find an answer, but it was Kenzi who became the voice of reason.
"Trick you're wrong. I mean sure light and dark hunting for us is not the best thing, but separating those two is a bad idea. Unless you didn't notice Trickster Bo's not that stable without Hot Pants. She's a little on edge, as they say, when their apart. I would bet my life long supply of alcohol that if you force this then Bo is a hell of a lot more likely to become this big bad monster everyone's so afraid of"
Trick looked at his granddaughter, truly looked. It appeared Kenzi might be right. She was too connected to the human doctor. The link was there, solidified or not, he had been too late. If he forced this she would only unravel faster.
"You're right Kenzi" Trick stated nodding his head in her direction. "We need a plan of action. I'm going to call Dyson and Hale, were going to need all the help we can get." Bo glared at Trick not trusting his sudden change of heart. _He is a threat. _Yes Bo agreed he could not be trusted.
"I'll call Hale" Kenzi offered "He can never refuse his lil mama" Lauren moved to stand facing Bo. She was so thankful that they wouldn't be forced apart. That they would have a chance to see where their relationship was headed.
Bo grinned helplessly at her doctor, forgetting about Trick and her voices.
"I guess were going to be around each other for a while longer" Lauren commented
"I would have followed you" Bo stated honestly. She had just got Lauren back after Bo had been an ass. She was not about to let the doctor walk out of her life again
"I know you would have" Lauren didn't know if it was the bond that was supposedly between them. But she knew deep within her that Bo would follow her anywhere. For better or worse they were connected. Bo pulled Lauren against her, peppering kisses all over her face
"I love you"
"I love you too" Bo's heart soared at those words; with Lauren there she was safe.
"I think we need a drink" Lauren pointed towards the bar in front of them moving to grab some glasses. Bo watched her in awe, she was so beautiful. Lauren's presence was intoxicating, no one was going to separate them. She smiled as Lauren walked back towards her. With Lauren and Kenzi by her side she would be alright. Bo would protect them with her life. _We will make sure they are safe. _Bo nodded Lauren and Kenzi were the people she cared about. They could worry about prophecies later.
12. Chapter 12
**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost Girl**
….
Bo walked into the makeshift kitchen spotting Kenzi as she finished pouring two cups of coffee. Her suspicions aroused, Bo slunk closer.
"What are you doing?" Kenzi jumped not having heard Bo sneak up on her.
"Holy Shit Bo! Could you make at least a little bit of noise" Kenzi sighed dramatically clutching at her chest as she tried to will her heart beat back down.
"You never answered the question"
"What the hell Bo? I'm making coffee" Kenzi pointed to the coffee sitting in front of her becoming a little concerned with Bo's attitude
"You drinking two cups now Kenzi?" Bo slowly stepped closer and closer to the human.
"Noooo. One's for Lauren, she looks like she needs it. She's been researching for like hours" Kenzi thought Bo would back off but her answered seemed to only enrage the succubus. Eyes flashing blue Bo snarled
"What are you doing looking at her? Do you think you can take her from me? Hmm. You will not like what will happen if you try. Because you are my friend I will give you this one warning. Stay away from Lauren" Eyes blazing Bo brushed past Kenzi grabbing the coffee and storming away to find her doctor.
Holy shit balls Kenzi thought someone's still working on her jealousy issues. Note to self she muttered, do not be nice to Hot Pants. Kenzi decided that her and Trick needed to have a talk, and they needed to have it very very soon for the safety of everyone. But first Kenzi needed to make more coffee, she did have her priorities after all.
….
"Hey" Bo whispered gently setting the coffee cup beside Lauren who was sitting on the floor surrounded by books.
"Thanks Bo" Lauren said distractedly, she was so focused on her research she missed Bo's sigh of disappointment.
"Lauren"
"Hmm"
"Lauren!" Shocked Lauren looked up to see Bo standing before her waiting to be acknowledged. She quickly jumped to her feet
"Hey sweetie what's wrong?"
"Lauren you need to rest" Bo disliked the slight begging tone that had snuck into her voice
"You haven't slept properly in days!" Lauren stepped forward wrapping her arms around the succubus
"I'm fine" Lauren muttered into Bo's shoulder enjoying the feel of Bo so close to her.
"Lauren" Bo moaned as she felt Lauren's hands run up and down her back. Taking advantage of the situation Bo tugged Lauren impossibly closer, molding their bodies together. She hoisted the doctor into her arms forcing them backwards until they fell onto the bed.
"Bo" Lauren laughed too happy to be angry. There was so much going on in their lives right now it was nice to be able to enjoy these moments.
"Bo I'm fine I swear! I'm just so close to figuring this out I can feel it"
"Lauren you're an amazing doctor and I know that you're going to stumble upon some miraculous discovery but right now you need to get some rest before you fall over" Lauren looked at Bo, whose face was filled with worry. Lauren gently stroked Bo's face, tracing the outline of her jaw before pulling her in for a kiss. Bo was all too aware of Lauren's body so close to hers. It had been far too long since they had been together, and Bo's self-control was seriously running out.
"I'm actually feeling rather energetic" Lauren stated trailing kisses up and down Bo's neck.
"Why doctor I do believe your trying to seduce me"
"Trying oh no Bo I'm succeeding"
"Yes, yes you are" Bo moaned as she forgot everything but how good it felt for Lauren to be touching her. Their lips crashed against each other desperately, hands grabbed at clothes as the need to be together overwhelmed them both.
….
"Trick we need Lauren's help" Dyson shouted as he and Hale hauled an unconscious fae into the Dahl.
"What's going on Dyson" Trick shouted as he surveyed the wreckage that had swooped into his bar
"He needs help Trick and the doctor is the only one with experience to be able to treat this" Hale explained
"Sanctuary has been claimed" Dyson and Trick locked eyes as they sized one another up.
"Why do you think we brought them here" Dyson shouted fed up with the Blood King. Hale took this time to intervene
"Nothing will happen to the doctor you have my word Trick"
"I'll go get her" Trick sighed, he had a feeling he was going to regret this.
….
"Bo? Lauren?" Trick knocked on their door hesitant of what he would see if he just barged straight in. Bonded couples were not known for their ability to share.
"What do you want" Bo yelled out clearly not in the mood to deal with Trick. Lauren gently nudged Bo
"Can't we just hope he goes away?" Lauren smiled at Bo, reluctantly withdrawing herself from the succubus's arms to throw on some clothes before answering the door.
"Lauren a fae is in desperate need of medical attention. Hale and Dyson brought him in, But…" Lauren didn't wait for him to finish she was already rushing into the other room. Bo sprung up from the bed, getting dressed as fast as she could. Worried Bo shoved past her grandfather to catch up with her doctor.
….
"What happened?" Lauren knelt down next to the unconscious fae glancing up at Dyson and Hale.
"We were checking out a building when our suspect jumped out and attacked. He has knife wounds" Dyson explained. Lauren went to work quickly finding the wounds and breathing a sigh of relief. They were mostly superficial lacerations. They would bleed a lot and would need to be stitched up, but there would be no fatal repercussions; he would survive.
"Bo I need my supplies, I think I left it in the room" Bo nodded but made no move to go, not wanting to leave Lauren all alone. The victim moaned attempting to roll on his side, as Lauren held him down with Dyson's help. Her hands were quickly covered in blood as she tried to stop the bleeding.
"Bo! I need my supplies"
"Were on it doc" Kenzi shouted grabbing Bo's arm and practically dragging her from the room. She snapped her fingers in front of her best friend
"Hey earth to Bo, Lauren needs her doctory things and I don't know where it is, so get your act together and show me!" Bo slowly forced herself to listen to Kenzi. Lauren, she had to do something for Lauren
"It's this way" Bo started running something in her gut telling her she was needed back in the other room.
….
"Hale do you know what kind of fae he is?" Lauren needed to know, some fae were extremely susceptible to certain metals and needles. The last thing they needed was for him to have a reaction while she was stitching him up.
"He's light fae so I should have his record in my office" Hale just knelt beside them staring blankly at all the blood. He had never seen this fae before.
"Hale. Go get them" Lauren gritted out, still using her hands to block the wounds. She warily watched the wolf who was helping her. They had not had direct contact since Bo had broken up with him. She wished the succubus or even Kenzi would hurry back so she wasn't alone with him.
Dyson examined the doctor. Something was different with her, even her smell was slightly off but he was too distracted to be able to pin point it.
"I'm tired of this doctor" He said harshly breaking the silence.
"What Dyson?"
"You. I'm tired of you. You have gotten in the way of my relationship with Bo for years! And when you finally find another person to be with, you just have to keep taking what doesn't belong to you. Was Skye not enough for you hmmm? Did you need two powerful fae woman pinning after you?"
"That's enough Dyson" Lauren spat, not even almost in the mood to deal with the wolf. Dyson sat back, releasing his hold on the fae. He smirked at the doctor, reaching into his pocket.
"I would love to continue this conversation doctor but we don't have time" Lauren was starting to panic. The look in the wolf's eyes was causing her to panic. She looked to Trick for his help but the pain and sorrow written on his face was so clear Lauren almost felt bad for him.
"Trick what…." Dyson hit the doctor in the head, catching her before she hit the ground. He stood with Laurens body draped over his shoulder.
"You know this is the only way old friend" Trick looked away in shame. Guilt filling him as Laurens body hung so lifeless from Dyson's shoulder.
"Just leave now Dyson" Trick said in resignation, it was too late to change things now. Dyson strolled out the door of the Dahl barely even feeling the extra weight on his shoulder. He whistled a tune as he loaded the human doctor into his car. Things were finally starting to go exactly as planned.
….
"I got it" Kenzi shouted doing a victory dance. With all the research they had been doing, Lauren's medical supplies had been well hidden.
"Good job Kenz, now let's go"
"No victory dance?" Kenzi watched as Bo's whole body became ridged as if she was feeling something else
"Lauren" She whispered before running like a manic down the hall
"What the hell Bo" Kenzi puffed as she tried to keep up with the succubus.
Bo burst through the doors immediately scanning the room for Lauren. Her body filled with fear as all she saw was an unconscious fae and Trick.
"Yo lil mama" Hale caught Kenzi as she flew through the doors behind Bo.
"What's the hurry" Kenzi panted pointing towards Bo, unwilling to waste precious oxygen on words
Bo stalked towards the Blood King her eyes blazing blue. She reached him, picking him up by his neck slamming him against the wall.
"WHERE IS SHE?" Trick gasped as his air was slowly cut off.
"She went to grab something from the other room" Trick knew his lie would last for long but he was in desperate need of air. His words had a different effect as Bo only squeezed his neck harder slamming him again and again against the wall.
"You lie, she's not here I can feel it" Bo snarled
"Bo let him go" Hale ran forward to assist the Blood King. _Kill him and we will get no closer to finding her. _Bo reluctantly dropped Trick, smiling as he fell harshly against the ground. Bo needed Lauren, she was the only one who could calm Bo down. Bo could feel herself tremble as she became more and more unstable.
"Where is she" Hale skidded to a stop holding his hands up in the air. As confused as he was, he knew Bo was extremely volatile.
"I don't know Bo. Lauren wanted to know what kind of fae he was and I left to go check the files in my office" Bo nodded, immediately knowing that Hale was telling the truth; he was as oblivious as she was.
"You." Bo spat crouching down to Trick's level on the ground.
"You were the only one in the room with her other than Dyson and he's not here. I will ask one more time Blood King. Where. Is. She?"
Trick looked at Bo. Her eyes were blue and the air around her seemed to be crackling with power. She was about to explode and he feared for what she was becoming. He feared for what he had made her become. He should have never let his fear for her cloud his judgement. It was clear that Lauren had been the only thing keeping his granddaughter from falling apart. Trick coughed trying to clear his lungs
"Dyson, he knocked her unconscious and took her. I don't know where he took her, all I know is I was to ensure the room was empty so he could make a clean escape." Bo froze as she imagined Lauren hurt and alone. She had failed to protect her. Bo began to spiral into despair, she could be anywhere…._Enough. _I need help Bo thought desperately, I can't think properly. I can feel her pain, her confusion. I'll never be able to find her like this…. _Calm down_. _Let us out and we will bring the doctor back to us alive. _Bo gave in without another thought.
She had been so close to caving before she had bonded with Lauren. And now that Bo could feel the pain resounding down their link and could do nothing to stop it. She couldn't handle it, she was too unstable to be any good to Lauren. She needed to be in control, to stay focused and she couldn't do that with Lauren's feelings flowing through her. _Can you feel where she is?_ No, not really she keeps fading in and out. I think it feels close to the compound, Bo thought hesitantly._ We shall start there. _
Bo's friends watched as she stood in the middle of the room ignoring them all. When she finally came back to herself, her face was a mask, a cold, indifferent mask. Bo once more began to walk towards her grandfather. Don't kill him. Bo yelled, no longer in control of her body, we might need to question him later. _Agreed._
Bo marched towards the door swiping her keys off the counter top pausing as she neared the door.
"_When I find her Trick I will return here and I will kill anyone who was involved_" Bo stated in an emotionless voice, a voice that sounded slightly different, a little less like Bo.
"Bo wait" Kenzi shouted wanting to run after her friend, but was stopped by Hale. He sadly held Kenzi in his arms
"Let go Hale! She's my best friend I need to go with her"
"That's not Bo Kenzi" Trick stated painfully hauling himself off the ground
"Yes it is! What are you guys talking about" Kenzi became frantic as Bo got further and further away the longer they waited.
"If that's not Bo than who is it?"
"I don't know Kenzi, but we need to find out"
"Umm guys we have other problems. What about him?" Hale pointed at the unconscious fae still bleeding on the ground. "We need to help him first"
….
"Hello" Lauren groggily asked the darkness as she slowly came too. From what she could tell she was chained to a bed against a wall. The darkness was so absolute that she could barely see her hand right in front of her face. She winced painfully as a door was opened and light abruptly illuminated the room. She watched as a figure casually stepped into the room.
"Hello doctor" The voice said moving closer
"Skye?"
13. Chapter 13
**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost Girl. **
….
"What the hell Bo!" Kenzi shouted jumping over the slumped body that was now bleeding profusely.
"You could have killed him" Bo continued to walk away unconcerned with Kenzi's qualms about her interrogation tactics.
"He had information I needed"
"I thought you could just follow the mystical bond with the Doc?"
"Something is blocking the signal we haven't received anything for a while now"
"But still. Bo Bo, I'm crazy worried about Lauren too but she wouldn't want you to kill people to find her. She wouldn't want you to give up who you are Bo" Bo stopped in the middle of the alley way, spinning to face the human. She's my best friend Bo whispered to the voices who were in control. _She is in the way. _Don't hurt her. _Fine. _
"You don't know what she wanted. I thought you were on team Dyson"
"Bo…."
"Enough, we will find her with or without you. But be warned interfere again and we will hurt you"
Kenzi stood there stunned. That wasn't her Bo. A chill shot through Kenzi's body, creeping up her leg, gliding up her back coming to rest at the base of her neck. Did she say "we" Kenzi thought, who the hell is we? She would figure out what was wrong with Bo later, right now she needed to catch up to her and make sure she didn't kill anyone
….
"What do you mean you can't find the succubus" Dyson roared flipping the table in front of him.
"Do you know how much work it was to get the doctor away from the succubus? All on the assumption that once separated Bo could be brought here. And now you have no idea where an extremely angry and powerful succubus is?" Dyson snarled, tired of dealing with incompetent people.
"I am sorry sir, but we lost her after she left the Dahl"
"Enough with your excuses/ Leave!" Dyson turned his back on the hastily retreating fae. His plan had been perfect. Separate Bo and Lauren, Skye would keep the doctor occupied and he could help Bo deal with her pain and she would remember why she had chosen him in the first place. But he needed her here where she could be contained. Dyson grabbed his jacket heading for the door, if you wanted something done it was best to do it yourself.
….
"She's close I can smell her" Bo stated sprinting forwards
"Bo wait! What about guards? Death ensnaring traps? You're not even listening to me are you?" Kenzi voice trailed off as Bo was already pounding on the door. It was a strange place. A large empty warehouse like building. It appeared deserted a perfect place for hiding out.
Bo was angry, no she was beyond angry she was in a calm furious rage. Looking at her you would think she was merely focused and still but beneath her skin she was brewing, moments from exploding. She needed Lauren like she needed air. It her them, physically hurt them to be apart from the doctor not knowing where she was or if she was alright.
If something had happened to the doctor… Bo stopped that thought before it began, if she let herself go there, all the effort she had put into no going completely mental would be wasted. _We have lost her scent._ What do you mean you lost her scent? It was there. _Clearly she has been moved, and they are blocking her somehow. But she is no longer here._NO! She's supposed to be here.
Bo screamed inside her head. It was an unreal experience to be in control but not at the same time. The voices could move her body, could speak for her and yet Bo knew she could take over again if she wanted too. But they both agreed that the fastest way to find Lauren was to work together and right now the voices had more control and stability than Bo did. They didn't discuss it but it was clear that Bo was hanging on by a thread. Bo's body clutched at her heart as a jolt ran through them. Bo focused hard trying to track down where the faint tug on the bond had come from. West we need to go West Bo commanded. _Alright. _
Kenzi watched as her best friend bolted from the room they had both been in. The warehouse was a bust, nothing left in the building. It was clear that whoever had been here had left in a hurry. It was unnerving Kenzi how still Bo stood. Like she was conversing but she sure as hell wasn't talking to Kenzi. Kenzi tiredly released the death hold she had on her knees. I really should have done more cardio Kenzi muttered as she gulped in a huge lungful of air before chasing after Bo. She was fairly certain the succubus didn't even realize that Kenzi was there.
….
Lauren flinched she could feel Bo's despair. She pretended to be just stretching. Skye was using something to block their connection. Lauren was sure of it. She felt cut off from Bo, like a piece of herself was missing. But randomly the bond would open for a split second it constantly took Lauren by surprise; having a sudden flood of emotions rushed at her before being just as abruptly shut off.
They had changed locations again while Lauren had been asleep, well sedated was more accurate. Lauren theorized that Bo had moved much faster than they anticipated so their relocation was hurried. From what she could feel Bo was not in a good place. Although Lauren wasn't either, kidnapping did not do good things for Laurens health. But she tried to remain calm, and keep her fear and panic down so that it didn't overwhelm Bo. A knock at her door, or prison cell, Lauren still was unsure of what it was dragged Lauren away from her thoughts.
"Lauren?" Skye gently opened the door peering around it at Lauren
"I thought you might be hungry" Skye walked forward setting the tray she was carrying on the bedside table. Lauren watched her from her place across the room, refusing to get any closer.
"More drugs to sedate me?" Lauren asked angrily, glaring at Skye.
"No Lauren I'm sorry but it was necessary to move you without detection." Skye explained patiently.
"Let me go Skye" Lauren demanded angrily standing to face off with the fae
"You know I can't do that Lauren"
"Why the hell not?"
"It's not safe for you or for the rest of the fae world. The succubus is out of control Lauren" Skye said as gently as she could, needing Lauren to understand why she did what she did.
"Bo isn't a danger to me!"
"How can you say that?" Skye couldn't remain calm, she wasn't known for her patience and she had finally reached the end of her very short chain. She and Lauren had been having the same argument every time Skye entered the room. "She has no control Lauren"
"You don't know her like I do"
"Yeah I bet I don't" Skye snipped
"Really? You kidnap me, drug me, lock me in a room and now you're jealous of me and Bo?" Skye winced at Lauren's words, when she put it like that Skye looked like a monster. Skye rubbed at her face tiredly.
"Look you're right I'm sorry. I just think you deserve better than her Lauren. She destroyed your heart or have you forgotten what she did to you" Lauren locked eyes with Skye
"She may have broken it but she put it back together. And she may have broken up with me but she never kidnapped me" Lauren stated pointedly taking satisfaction from the guilty look that washed across Skye's face.
"I am truly sorry for what this has come to Lauren"
"I know you are Skye. But you have to let me go. I love her and that's not going to change. Ever."
"I just…. We could have been so great Lauren, I made you happy, didn't I?" Lauren smiled sadly, this has to be the weirdest timing for a heart to heart with an ex she thought to herself
"You did Skye, but Bo, Bo makes me feel whole." Skye nodded sadly letting herself finally realize what she had been running from ever since she had first seen Lauren and Bo look at each other. She couldn't compete with what they had. Even when they were angry the love and desire for each other had been so obvious that Skye had been forced to look away.
"Skye let me go" Lauren gritted out firmly. She was done
"Lauren, it's still best for the fae world if Bo and you are separated"
"NO ITS NOT" Lauren shouted "WE NEED EACH OTHER" Skye took a step back the angry radiating off of Lauren, this was a side to her that she had never seen before.
"Please eat something I know you must be hungry" Skye quickly exited the room.
"Skye!" Lauren ran at the door but it was too late. She heard the lock slam into place. Bo please hurry Lauren whispered into the quite room.
….
Bo felt something break whatever had been blocking her form finding Lauren had been broken or turned off. Bo didn't care she knew exactly where the doctor was. _We will kill any who try to stop us. _The voices vowed forcing Bo's legs to move faster as they slammed against the pavement. Bo found herself once again agreeing with them. Nothing was going to stop them from finding the doctor.
Kenzi smiled slightly to herself as she pedaled after Bo. 'Borrowing' a bike from one of the roads they had been sprinting down had been her best idea all day. She was able to keep an eye of the succubus and not feel like her lungs were about to spontaneously combust. Kenzi pedalled faster as Bo took off like a shot. Looks like she found the doc Kenzi thought happily, the sooner Lauren was back the sooner Kenzi could be done with the exercising. It really wasn't good for her health.
….
Skye opened the door to Laurens room noticing the untouched food. The doctor was sitting on the bed staring blankly at the wall.
"Umm Lauren" Skye said hoping to reclaim Laurens attention. Lauren didn't move, refusing to acknowledge Skye's presence
"I umm powered it off, Bo should be able to locate you if she's looking" Lauren stood quickly
"She is" Lauren stated confidently.
"Good, I umm wanted to apologize again. I ordered the guards to leave, the doors are open. You're free to go I guess. I just want you to be happy" Skye looked at the ground, anywhere but at the human who she had come to care so much for
"I know" Lauren did know, she knew Skye wasn't a horrible person; she had supported Lauren when she had needed it most. If Lauren had never met Bo then maybe they would have had a chance. But in this reality they just didn't, even before the abduction and the fights happened. Lauren would never have been able to love Skye the way she wanted, simply because you couldn't give your heart away if someone else already had it.
Lauren spontaneously hugged Skye, choosing to ignore the thoughts in her head that questioned if she was suffering from stock holm syndrome.
"Goodbye Skye, you really shouldn't be anywhere near here when Bo shows up. She won't be as forgiving as I am" Skye nodded she had planned on being very far away, preferably on a different continent very, very far away.
"Goodbye Lauren. I hope the succubus is worth it"
"She is" Skye let herself get lost in Lauren's eyes, committing her to memory before turning and pulling open the door. Skye was ready to leave, she was not ready to come face to face with an angry succubus who looked like killing Skye had been on her wish list since the day they met.
"Oh shit" Skye muttered before Bo hand her hand wrapped around her neck lifting her off of the ground.
"You think I wouldn't find her. Did you think you could just take her away from me and I would let you? Hmm?" Bo emphasized her points by roughly shoving the fae against the wall.
"Lauren" Skye choked out looking past Bo to see Lauren standing in surprise, apparently unable to act quite yet. The shock of seeing Bo locking her in place.
"NO! DO NOT SAY HER NAME" Bo pushed Skye hard enough into the wall to break the plaster. Bo's body trembled from the exertion.
"You shall pay for this" The voices shouted at Skye. Bo agreed watching in satisfaction, Skye was thrown across the room smashing into the wall, sinking unconscious to the floor. Bo turned ready to strike again and stopped. Lauren was there in the room. Her Lauren was just a few metres away from her.
"Lauren" The voices whispered reaching out a shaking hand that had smears of Skye's blood dripping from it.
"Bo" Lauren tried to shake herself out of shock. Bo, her Bo was right there. It wasn't a dream she was really there. Bo moved forward flinging herself into Lauren's arms. It was going to be alright, Lauren was safe. Lauren pulled back so she could look into Bo's eyes. Her brow scrunched in confusion as she stared into Bo's vibrantly blue eyes.
"Who are you?"
14. Chapter 14
**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost Girl.**
….
"Bo don't!" Lauren shouted moving to stop her from attacking the unconscious fae.
"Holy shit Bo you can't just take off on a sister like that!" Kenzi panted bursting through the doors and pausing at what she saw. Bo covered in blood with Lauren standing between Bo and her ex's body was not the image Kenzi was expecting.
"She took you away from us for that she will die"
"No Bo I don't know what's happened to you but you can't do this" Bo merely stared at Lauren curiously not following her logic. To the succubus it was very simply she was protecting what was hers.
"Do this and I will never forgive you" The succubus stopped walking forwards as Laurens words sank in.
"She is unconscious. She's not going anywhere and I'm right here okay no one's taking me anywhere"
"She might try again" The succubus growled but was stopped by Lauren tentatively laying a hand on her arm.
"Look at me Bo please. See I'm right in front of you it's okay" Lauren said soothingly to the clearly unstable succubus. Lauren could feel Bo through their bond, it was still there but there was a degree of separation that never existed before.
"Ours" Lauren heard growled out before the succubus had buried her head in Lauren's neck, delightfully inhaling her scent. Lauren sighed in relief, glancing worriedly at Skye's body. She didn't appear to be severely injured but there could always be internal damage.
"This is weird" Kenzi muttered as Lauren gestured over Bo's shoulders to call someone. The first person Kenzi could think of to call was Hale, and that was exactly whose number she dialed
Lauren pulled back from Bo's tight embrace so she could stare into her eyes. Lauren tentatively caressed the succubus's face. It was Bo and yet her energy was different: darker.
"Lauren?" Bo questioned
"Bo?" Lauren gasped, as the beautiful brown eyes, quickly morphed back into blazing blue. "No Bo come back to me" The succubus simply stared at Lauren impassively.
"I know you're still in there Bo and I'm going to help you okay sweetie? It's going to be alright" Other Bo merely stared at its mate. There was no present danger so they were happy to sit back and observe the object of their obsession.
_Lauren!_ Bo shouted unable to regain control of herself. **Enough**. The voices replied **you needed us and now we are her. Fear not we shall keep her safe.** _Give me back my body__**! **_**Oh no, it is our body now**. The voices replied before blocking her out. Leaving Bo an observer in her own body. Desperate Bo tugged on the bond, only receiving a faint response. In her panic to find Lauren Bo had been so caught up that she hadn't realized how much control she had given over to her voices. The only comfort she took was from the apparent fascination they had with Lauren. The voices seemed as interested in her protection as Bo herself was.
"Hey doc, Hale says a team of medics are on their way, he umm also mentioned that Bo needs to not be here when they arrive to help her" Kenzi gestured to Skye. Lauren ran a hand through her hair stress written all over her face
"I thought as much. Okay Kenzi we can't just leave her here unsupervised. Did Hale say how long there would be"
"About five minutes"
"Right okay…." Lauren was very hesitant to separate herself from Bo or other Bo or Bo's body until she figured out what was going on. She got the feeling that it would not go over well if she suggested staying with Skye.
"Leave her" Bo's voice echoed around the room; cold and unforgiving. Lauren and Kenzi wracked their brains for any ideas, ignoring the succubus who was wrapped around Lauren's body stopping her from checking on Skye.
"Kenzi is Hale coming with them?"
"Yeah why"
"He can protect you, you're the only one who can stay with her. I need to get Bo out of here"
"I understand Lauren but Bo's not really…. Herself right now"
"I know." Lauren turned her attention back to the succubus who was still holding onto her tightly.
"Bo"
"Yes" Lauren readied herself for any response, she was about to test out her hypothesis
"I want to go to the Dahl. Alone"
"NO! It is not safe! We will go with you to ensure your safety" Lauren smiled with relief, maybe getting Bo to sanctuary wouldn't be as hard as she thought.
"Way to put up a fight blue eyed Bo" Kenzi commented.
"Kenzi meet us at the Dahl as soon as you can. Call if anything goes wrong, and please let me know how she is. Her injuries don't appear life threatening but there could be complications"
"I'll let ya know doc"
"Good" Lauren pried herself away from Bo's body walking purposefully towards the door only to be stopped suddenly by someone grabbing onto her hand. She watched curious as the succubus interlaced their fingers before pulling them both forwards. The warmth of Bo's hand against her comforted Lauren more than she had thought possibly. She could still feel Bo, she knew that she was in there and she would make sure she got back to where she belonged: with Lauren.
….
Trick wasn't sure what he was expecting when the door to his bar was flung open but Bo and Lauren walking into it hand in hand was not it.
"Lauren! Bo!" Bo completely ignored the man he was not a threat so he required little of her attention.
"Hello Trick"
"Lauren are you alright?" Trick moved forwards as if to embrace Lauren but he was stopped by an angry looking succubus who blocked Lauren completely from his view.
"Bo he's your grandfather!" Lauren said exasperated. This Bo was being a little to protective.
"He let you be taken away he is not to be trusted"
"Its alight Bo, see I'm stepping back. I don't want to take her away from you" Trick was unnerved as blue eyes tracked his every move. He couldn't recognize the granddaughter he had come to love and care for in those calculating eyes.
"What happened Lauren" Lauren was swaying on her feet. It had been an extremely long day. Being kidnapped, dealing with Bo but not Bo. Lauren could feel the headache that was quickly approaching. Lauren went to tiredly answer the blood king but was cut off
"Lauren is tired she will be answering no more of your questions" Other Bo interrupted. Practically carrying Lauren from the room, to their temporary bedroom.
Lauren normally would have found being interrupted annoying but the day had finally caught up with her. She leaned heavily against the body that was supporting her. She needed a good eight hour sleep, she was after all only human.
"Hey?" Lauren questioned sleepily
"Yes"
"Promise to wake me up when Kenzi gets here"
"Why" Other Bo looked at the doctor intensely, easing her onto the bed before laying down beside her molding their two bodies together.
"Please it would make me very unhappy if you didn't"
"We shall wake you" The succubus gently sucked on Lauren's neck enjoying the feel of her beneath their lips. God the doctor was better than anything they had ever experienced. Lauren satisfied with Bo's response let herself succumb to the dream world tricking herself into believing just for a moment, it was her Bo holding onto her.
….
"Well see the thing is Trickster apparently super succubus Bo and normal Bo have one thing in common"
"And what is that Kenzi" Trick questioned, tried already. Kenzi couldn't help but chuckle as she thought of her best friend
"Both of them are seriously whipped. I mean all the doc over here had to say was I want to go to the Dahl. And blue eyed Bo all but offered to drive her here. Although between you and me" Kenzi whispered conspiratorially, leaning closer to the Blood King,
"I would not suggest taking Lauren anywhere without Bo. That does not go over well, trust me" Kenzi finished her story by throwing back a shot and slamming it down on the counter.
"Mama needs sustenance Trick" Kenzi moaned eyeing him pitifully "Do you know how much running I did today. I'll tell you, I ran! Far distances, in heels. Have you tried to run in heels? It is not fun. No wonder the girl always fall when she's being chased in the movies" Kenzi mused getting sidetracked
"Kenzi!"
"Yeah Trickster"
"I believe you started this conversation with Trick Trick Bo's gone crazy and is going to kill us all. Please explain that" Trick sighed, sometimes it was like pulling teeth
"Oh I may have slightly exaggerated. I have reassessed and I think imminent death is still a few days away so phew right" Kenzi whipped pretend sweat off of her forehead smiling at Tricks pained expression.
"Alright alright. Something appears to have taken over Bo's body. She's there but not in control and still totally in love and crazy protective of Lauren"
"Oh is that all you forgot to mention" Trick asked sarcasm dripping from every word
"I also broke a nail" Kenzi held up her wounded hand for inspection. "It's going to take days to heal" Trick started to walk away "Hey I don't have super sexual healing powers! For us mere humans this is a big deal" Kenzi's voice shouted after him. Trick just kept walking he needed to talk with his granddaughter or whoever was in control. Talking to Kenzi first was not the best idea he had had in his many years on the earth.
….
"EVONY" Dyson howled stalking into her office, ignoring her receptionist and slamming the door behind him.
"You swore to me this would work! You gave your word that she would be mine"
"Hello wolf" Evony greeted Dyson lazily not understanding what he was all worked up about
"What exactly is your problem? Let me guess a certain succubus keeping you up at night?"
"Enough" Dyson growled
"Fine fine ruin all my fun" Evony waved her hand in the air "What's the problem with Bo?"
"She has run off after the human doctor and I can no longer contact the fae who was holding her"
"How is this my problem?"
"Because" Dyson snarled leaning over the desk to get right in Evony's personal space.
"Once the doctor figures out what happened to Bo how long do you think it will take her to link you to all of this? Hmm. The human is smart. It is only a matter of time before she discovers the reason behind Bo's… problems"
"Are you threatening me wolf?" Evony stood up fast, sending her chair flying backwards as she stalked around the desk to confront Dyson head on.
"No I'm warning you to prepare yourself"
"For what"
"For Lauren" At that Evony had to laugh, what was a human doctor of the light going to do against the leader of the dark fae
"And what exactly is the human going to do to me? Give me a shot?"
"She's going to tell Bo" At Evony's blank expression Dyson realized she hadn't been informed yet
"Haven't you heard? Apparently this new version of Bo is even more concerned with Lauren's safety than the other one. Have you seen what she did to Laurens ex-girlfriend? She's in intensive care at the hospital, she was lucky apparently she'll survive" Evony was leader of the dark, she feared very little but this new information was causing the hairs on the back of her head to stand up.
"Your point wolf"
"She will see you as a threat and this Bo deals with threats with a lot more violence than the other one did"
"And just exactly what do you think she's going to do with you?"
"I DON'T KNOW! I never saw this coming. You swore to me that infecting her would make her stronger, protect her, and increase our bond to one another, not throw her into the arms of a human!" Dyson exploded
"And you swore to me that she was your mate" Evony hissed her voice as cold as ice. "Seems like we were both wrong" Dyson growled anger warming his insides
"She is my mate. I have chosen her"
"She hasn't chosen you pup" Evony bit back fear creeping its way into her mind. An out of control succubus was dangerous, an out of control infected succubus who listened to the directions of the human doctor was catastrophic.
Dyson ignored Evony's comment,
"We need a plan"
"What you want me to do? Help get you your girlfriend back? I am the leader of the dark fae!"
"No I want help in ensuring that we both live through this so I have time to get my mate back" Evony paused considering her options. Dyson was a powerful ally to have and with the cards the way they were she needed him on her side, at least for now
"What did you have in mind?"
….
Trick rubbed his forehead warily. First the prophecy and now this. How was he supposed to protect his granddaughter from herself? Trick picked up another old text from the shelf. From what Lauren and Kenzi had told him, and Bo's actions herself, it appeared something was infecting his granddaughter
It was fascinating Trick thought how dependent possessed Bo remained on Lauren, almost as if all parts of Bo were bonded to the doctor. Trick paused, the bond, he may not know what was wrong with Bo but he could use the information he had found to help them.
"Lauren! Kenzi!" Trick shouted rushing into the main part of the Dahl arms full of books.
"I have an idea"
"Do you know what's wrong with crazy blue eyes?" Kenzi asked
"I have a theory. Where is Bo?"
"She's resting" Lauren stated "but it will only be a matter of minutes before she realises I'm not there"
"Can you spell codependent?"
"Kenzi!"
"Right sorry, not the time. So what's the plan Trickster?"
"Lauren, you said that for a second she was herself again?"
"Yes why?"
"I've been researching the connection between you two. There are ancient stories and tales of the power of the bonded couple. If Bo is possessed as you think we can perform a blocking ceremony"
"A what-now Trick?" Kenzi was very confused.
"A blocking ceremony it is a ritual to separate parts of the mind. But its last recording was from over a century ago. It only works with a bonded pair. Lauren you would have to anchor Bo's mind so that she remained herself and the other was blocked. It wouldn't destroy it, but it would bring Bo back and give us more time"
"Whoa there, I know the docs a genius but how's she supposed be an anchor exactly?"
"I don't know. The text simply says 'your love will guide the souls'" Trick looked imploringly at Lauren,
"How do we do it?" Lauren asked
"It could be dangerous Lauren. I'm not even sure if it will work"
"If it's the only way to save Bo I'll do anything" Lauren stated firmly. She needed her Bo back.
15. Chapter 15
**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost Girl. **
…**.**
A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone who has followed and taken an interest in the story!
-T.
….
Bo felt like she was drowning. Everything around her was a thick darkness but what scared her, what made her claw at the air to escape was the silence. It was deafening. It crept through her body like a thief stealing the air from her lungs and sending shivers of fear prickling up her spine. Bo needed help: she couldn't see, couldn't breathe, and couldn't think.
"BO!" Bo paused sound there was sound! She knew that voice, would know it anywhere it was embedded into her very soul. For the first time since she found herself in her dark prison she attempted to use her voice
"L…La…" Bo kept trying, working to form a name "Lauren" She whispered why was she hearing Lauren's voice?
"BO! BO!" Bo squinted in the dark. Where was Lauren? Or was Bo just hearing her voice? Bo decided it didn't matter. Just hearing her voice calmed a part of Bo's soul. Bo relaxed fighting back the fear of the dark. She would be brave, for Lauren she would be brave.
"Bo please Bo I need you" Bo turned worriedly in the dark. Lauren sounded scared; desperate. When Bo found her way out of her cage she would make whoever scared her Lauren pay..
"Bo please if you can hear me follow my voice. I need you to find me Bo" Bo moved towards where the sound was coming from. The darkness was so thick she didn't know if she would crash into something. The fear returned, the darkness, the silence. She was alone, abandoned, left behind. Bo shivered her head pounding. No no. Bo steeled herself. She wasn't alone, she would never be alone. Lauren was with her, Lauren's soul was bound to hers. Drawing strength that only Lauren could give Bo moved forward again, this time with confidence. If she crashed into something she would pick herself up. She refused to stay in this dark pit when Lauren needed her. It's all right Lauren she thought. I'm coming.
….
"Trick are you sure this is working?" Kenzi asked in fear watching the ceremony take place before her.
"It has to Kenzi" Trick shouted back. Lauren and Bo's body where placed on the floor, their hands touching. A circle of ancient herbs and odds and ends that Trick continuously sprinkled as he walked around and around the circle. Bo was unconscious but Lauren was staring intently at her motionless body.
"Call to her again Lauren were almost out of time"
"What happens when time runs out?" Kenzi questioned
"She stays in there"
"No I won't let that happen" Lauren was exhausted. It had taken all of her energy to use the bond to map out Bo's brain, with Trick's guidance of course. And now the last part of the ceremony was here, but if Bo didn't wake up all their hard work would be lost.
"Bo you listen to me right now I need you to wake up. Come back to me" Bo stirred slightly, shifting a little in Lauren's arm. Everyone held their breath but Bo relaxed again.
"Come on Lauren wake her up" Kenzi shouted
"I'm trying Kenzi" Lauren shouted desperately. If she failed and Bo was lost to her….
"Bo you wake up right now!" She shouted at the figure lying in front of her. Bo stirred again
"Lauren she's close but were running out of time" Trick called to her, as he walked slowly around the circle in the middle of the Dahl.
"She's gonna wake up" Kenzi tried to reassure herself. "When has Bo every resisted Lauren?"
"Two minutes Lauren" Trick shouted glancing at the timer that was set on the counter of the bar.
"Come on Lauren use your feminine wiles!" Lauren and Trick both sent Kenzi a look of disbelief.
"What! Bo's totally whipped just…. I dunno do whatever it is you did to get her in the circle in the first place" A light shown in Laurens eye. She had an idea
"Bo Dennis you wake up right now or we will never have sex again!" Bo shot up gasping for air. Lauren lunged forward dragging Bo into her arms.
"Thank god you're safe" Lauren breathed out stroking Bo's hair as she rocked her back and forth in her arms. Bo struggled to her feet, never releasing her hold on Lauren. Trick quickly broke the circle with his foot as he and Kenzi rushed forward.
"Seriously Bo" Kenzi stated slapping her best friend on the arm "That's what woke you up?"
Bo looked down sheepishly while Lauren blushed.
"Don't know what you're talking about" Bo muttered burying her face into Lauren's neck. God she had missed her.
Lauren couldn't stop the tears that streamed down her face. Her Bo was here, in control of her body. Lauren could feel in deep within her soul. Lauren leaned into Bo's embrace letting her hold on the conscious world slip away knowing that the people she loved were safe.
"Lauren!" Bo caught Lauren before she hit the ground cradling her gently against herself.
"Trick what's going on?"
"It's alight Bo, she's just exhausted it took hours to enact the ceremony. Not to mention the time it took to get you into the circle in the first place"
"But she's going to be fine right? She's going to wake up?" Bo was on the verge of a panic attack
"Yes Bo. Why don't you both go lie down?" Bo stared down at the bundle in her arms
"Yeah that's not a bad idea"
Kenzi walked over to Trick slinging an arm around his shoulders.
"Look at them Trickster it's like Juliet and Juliet"
"Yes Kenzi because being possessed and losing control of your body is so very romantic"
….
Bo woke up suddenly noticing the warm person who was asleep beside her a few moments ago was no longer there. Lauren, Bo thought where did she go? Bo staggered out of there room searching for her.
Lauren sat on the bar stool swivelling in her seat so she could face the person hovering just inside the door. Trick and Kenzi stood on either side of her and they looked as happy as she felt.
"Hello Skye" Lauren acknowledge her with a nod
"Hi Lauren" Skye took a tentative step forward
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay?"
"Skye you were the one who ended up in the hospital, I should be asking you that"
"I know. It's just Lauren I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I know you'll never forgive me but just know that I'm sorry"
"I know you are Skye" Lauren replied tiredly she really wasn't up for sincere apologizes from ex-lovers right now.
"I came here to warn you Lauren. After everything I put you through it seemed like the right thing to do"
"Warn me about what?" Skye moved closer so they were a few metres away when her view was blocked by a very pissed off succubus
"I thought you were still in the hospital" Bo spat advancing upon the water fae.
"I just got released"
"And you thought you would come here and comfort Lauren?" Bo questioned backing Skye up until her back hit the wall and there nowhere else for her to escape.
Bo growled wrapping her hands around Skye's neck.
"Trick" Skye gasped out "I thought you said you performed the ceremony already!"
"We have" Lauren pried Bo's hands away pulling her back into her body and walking them a few paces back.
"Bo I need you to calm down"
"She took you away from me!"
"I know sweetie but right now I need you to let me handle this okay"
"Fine" Bo pouted glaring at Skye while letting her body rest against her doctor.
"Are you alright Skye?"
"Yeah I'm just peachy" Lauren was tempted to go to her but she wasn't comfortable with what Bo would do if she moved towards Skye.
"There seems to be a misunderstanding Bo she came to warn us"
"Warn us about what?"
Coughing Skye struggled to her feet, deciding that her next big gesture of good faith would involve more fore sight.
"The elders have made a decision"
"The light elders?" Trick questioned watching as Skye shook her head
"No, all of the elders. They came together for the first time in centuries and came to a decision"
"What is it Skye" Skye looked pained as she rubbed at her throat
"They're going to take Lauren"
"What do you mean take her" Bo growled tensing in Lauren's arms
"Bo sanctuary only works on those who are free, as a slave of the light Lauren has no claim to it" Trick explained softly.
"Why didn't they take her before?"
"I argued against it. I told them it would only speed up the prophecy but they have stopped listening to me" Skye explained
Lauren stumbled out of Bo's arms understanding what was going to happen. They were going to use her as bait to lure Bo in, and it would work. Bo would never leave her in their hands. They would both be captured.
"Lauren" Bo turned pulling her into a hug "I won't let them take you, I'll protect you I promise"
"I volunteered to deliver the official warning. Lauren will be taken by tomorrow at noon, or the succubus may turn herself in. Those are the only two options, I am so sorry" Skye bowed her head.
"We'll run. Come on Bo me, you, hot pants on a road trip!" Kenzi exclaimed
"It would never work Kenzi with the light and dark working together it would be mere days" Trick explained
"And we still don't know what's wrong with Bo. The ceremony is only meant to be temporary" Lauren muttered the severity of the situation hitting her hard. Lauren stumbled backwards allowing herself to fall onto the bar stool. It was too much, getting Bo back only to lose her again? Lauren wouldn't be able to survive. She felt the world spiralling voices fading in and out she felt like she was floating.
"Lauren?" Bo called gently worried when she didn't get a response. Closing her eyes Bo forced herself to reach deep stumbling through her mind until she came across the glowing gold chain. Wrapping two hand securely around it Bo began to follow down towards Lauren.
Lauren?
Bo?
Hey I was worried about you!" Bo's words forced Lauren out of her trance like state. She spun locking eyes with Bo who was staring at her with concern
"It's gonna be okay babe I promise" Lauren shook her head, it wasn't possible.
"Bo"
"Yes"
"You're talking to me"
"Of course I am Lauren" Bo was very confused with how Lauren was acting. Why was talking to her so strange
"Bo you're talking to me without opening you mouth"
"What Lauren don't be ridiculo…. You're not speaking out loud either are you?"
"No"
"So is this some kind of telepathic thing?"
"I think it has to do with our connection. This is very strange" Bo inwardly smiled sometimes Lauren was just to adorable.
"I think it's amazing. I feel so close to you right now Lauren" Bo purred.
"I feel it to Bo"
"You're so beautiful you know that"
"So are you" Bo could feel her heart swell, she could hear the love behind Laurens words, could feel her emotions as she felt them herself. Bo needed to be closer, needed to physically touch Lauren.
"You know Lauren if no one else can hear us"
"Yes Bo?"
"I missed you beautiful" Bo practically purred. Lauren gasped, reading the blazing desire in Bo's eyes.
"Bo we need to focus on the the umm we need to figure out the problem with the fae" Laurens voice was breathless even in telepathic form
Smirking Bo strode towards Lauren pulling her into a passionate embrace. As their mouths moved against each other, Bo's senses were overwhelmed as she felt Lauren filling up all of her senses.
"I love you Lauren"
Lauren didn't reply reaching up to pull Bo closer to her, barely noticing when Bo picked her up and carried her towards their room. Everything else could wait but right now they needed to be with each other, to fully believe that they weren't imagining things, that they had each other back in their arms.
….
"Well that's was awkward" Kenzi commented staring dumb founded at the doorway where Bo and Lauren had just exited through
"I hmm well Kenzi I believe my granddaughter was compelled by the bond to reaffirm their ahh "
Kenzi burst out laughing at the pained look on Trick's face
"Well Trickster from the sounds of it they should be 'reaffirming their connection' all night long" Even Skye smiled, albeit somewhat sadly at the strange turn of events. Trick wearily rubbed at his forehead
"They are being irresponsible they need to focus on the situation at hand! This is no laughing matter! If Lauren is taken Bo will follow and when they are both captured there is nothing that we will be able to do to save them!"
"Whoa Trick. They just need a little time. Bo just got back from her trip down crazy lane. They're not irresponsible they're just well their two crazy kids in love. They need a minute to be happy, to forget that their lives are in grave danger… again." Kenzi's eyes bored into Tricks with an intensity that was startling. Trick stared into the eyes of someone who knew more than she should.
"You may be the Blood King and her granddaughter but Trick I would be very careful with Bo when you talk about Lauren. Cause if you force her to choose it's not gonna be your side that she goes to:
Trick nodded silently glancing at Skye who was staring unseeing at the wall. Shaking herself Skye turned to Kenzi
"I am sorry for how this has turned out. If there is anything I can do please call me. Trick, Kenzi" Nodding at them Skye walked slowly out of the Dahl.
….
"Have I told you how much I love you?"
"Yes and you most certainly just showed me" Smiling Lauren rolled over kissing Bo's lips gently, savouring the taste. Lauren pulled back lying her head on Bo's chest listening to the steady beat of her heart.
Bo squeezed Lauren tighter refusing to let go.
"I won't let them take you Lauren" Bo swore
"I know Bo I know" Lauren replied sleepily letting herself drift off with the sound of Bo's beating heart lulling her to sleep.
"You are mine and I will protect you
….
Bo paced anxiously slamming back a shot of vodka from the bar. Willing herself to be filled with the courage she desperately needed to take those few steps towards the door. It's the only way to save her. It's the only way Bo muttered desperately. They would come for her she knew it. Lauren would go with them and she would chase after her. She would follow Lauren anywhere and they knew that. They would hurt her to get to Bo, she knew it. They would both be captured and nothing Bo did would save them. This was the only way, they only way to save the one thing that mattered the most to her and yet Bo hadn't moved from her current spot.
The prospect of actually leaving Lauren behind terrified Bo, shook her to the very depths of her soul. It had taken all Bo had to sneak out of their bed, leaving Lauren soundly sleeping. Lauren would wake up soon and see that Bo was missing. If Lauren found her she wouldn't have the will power to do what she must.
"Going somewhere Bo?" Trick questioned stepping out from the darkened doorway
"What do you want Trick?'
"Were you really planning on leaving in the middle of the night? Sneaking off without telling anyone"
"You don't understand! They're going to take her away at least this way…."
"What Bo? This way they take you instead? Torture you? Kill you?"
"YES!"
"You're an idiot. Do you really think dying will fix everything?"
"I have to protect her"
"And dying is how you do that?"
"Without me they won't be after her!"
""Without you she does not exist you fool!" Trick was furious.
"What are you talking about?" Bo growled stepping towards the Blood King.
"You are a soul bonded pair" Trick got out through clenched teeth.
"You're are so selfish do you not realize how you're actions have consequences"
"I know were bonded!"
"But you do not understand. You run around making choices Bo and you never face the consequences. You are young, extremely young, there is so much of the fae world that you do not understand. Things that every fae knows!" Bo hated being talked at like she didn't know anything.
"What. Is. Your. Point"
"My point is that every fae being knows what happens if a part of your soul dies. So does the rest of it" Trick stated like it should mean something important to Bo.
Bo angrily shook her head at Trick. Whatever he was saying she didn't understand and she was feed up.
"Fine." Bo stood determined to walk out the door. Growling at his granddaughter's stubbornness Trick shouted after her
"Your souls are connected they are a part of each other! If you are killed your soul dies." Bo spun to face him, suddenly dreading where this was heading.
"If you die Bo, Lauren dies too"
….
16. Chapter 16
**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost Girl. **
…**.**
Bo stared blankly at her grandfather willing her brain to try and comprehend what had just happened.
"What are you saying Trick?" Trick sighed tiredly
"You are two bonded souls once this process happens to survive you both must be alive"
"What does that even" Bo stopped noticing that Trick was looking past her at something else.
"Lauren" Bo breathed out moving towards her but she was stopped by Laurens raised hand
"Don't Bo, just don't!"
"Lauren" Lauren shook her head furiously at Bo
"Did you seriously think I wouldn't notice that you had gone? What was the plan Bo was I supposed to wake up and notice that you were missing and everything would suddenly be fine!" At this point Lauren was screaming, the fear of losing her loved one turning into rage.
"I just wanted to protect you Lauren" Bo whispered her heart breaking at the pain in Lauren's eyes
"You can't protect someone if you're dead Bo" Lauren spat back ignoring the tears that were slowly trickling down her face. Bo flinched, reaching out telepathically only to hit a brick wall. Desperate she slowly moved forwards ignoring Laurens attempts to stop her. Bo pulled Lauren into a hug holding her tight.
"I'm still mad at you" Lauren mumbled into Bo's shoulder letting the succubus lift her up and carry her back to their room.
"Bo we need to talk" Trick shouted after her
"Not now Trick, Lauren needs me" And to Bo the conversation was finished. There was only Lauren to look after now.
Trick stared worriedly at the clock, their time was slowly running out.
….
You lied to me Morrigan" Dyson growled leaning heavily onto her desk.
"What now dog?"
"You swore that the injections would poison Bo's mind. You promised me she would be mine!"
"And…."
"And she's back with that human!"
"She is back with who she belongs"
"SHE BELONGS WITH ME!" The Morrigan laughed piteously at the pathetic look on Dyson's face.
"The injection I gave you came with grave warnings dog, if you choose to ignore them then that is your own fault"
"You swore it would corrupt her mind, make her thoughts only focused on her one true mate. She was supposed to be focused on nothing but me!"
"It appears that the succubus's heart lies with a mere human. Is that what hurts Dyson" The Morrigan questioned cruelly leaning forward against her desk to get right in the other fae's face
"Are you sure it's your heart that's been hurt and not your pride?"
"How dare you" Dyson snarled launching himself across the table towards the Morrigan intent on making her pay for her comments. Dyson was yanked back by his jacket, his face inches from her face.
"One does have body guards for a reason dear" The Morrigan said calmly her face unflinching.
"Get him out of my sight" She ordered the two men who had him locked in their grasps.
"You owe me Evony! After all I've done for you, you promised me my mate!" Dyson howled as he was forcibly removed from the room.
"No dog, I promised nothing. I merely said she would follow the path fated for her. It appears you are not on that path" Grinning wickedly Evony waved her hands smiling as the door was closed drowning out Dyson's yells of betrayal. Evony loved it when she gained the upper hand.
She glanced down reading a text message from her assistant. Someone wants to meet with me to gain information. And it's urgent, whoever could that be, she mused. Laughing she spun in her chair, if the next part went according to plans, she would have a doctor and a succubus under her control very, very soon. Evony paged her assistant
"Tell the Blood King that I will see him now"
….
Kenzi blearily stumbled out into the main part of the Dahl. She ambled over to Bo, who was slouched over the bar, taking a seat in the stool next to her.
"Wuz crackalakin Bo-balicious?" Kenzi muttered tiredly.
"Lauren's mad at me"
"Did you go all blue-eyed on someone again?"
"NO!"
"Hmmm did you make out with someone who was not Hot Pants"
"KENZI!"
"Right sorry totally whipped I forgot, so what'd ya do to deserve the cold shoulder?"
"Imayhavetriedtoturnmyselfinwithouttellingher"
"Yeah wanna repeat that with spaces, and pauses for ya know breathing and dramatic effect?"
"I was going to sacrifice myself to save her, to save us I guess"
"Well Bo Bo that was extremely stupid of you"
"I'm aware thanks Kenz, but I had to do something, I had to protect her" Bo whispered brokenly.
"I hear ya Bo. I understand, you gots to protect our Doc, but did you think what she would do to the both of us if she found out that you had left her"
"Both of us?"
"I'm the best friend succuface I'm collateral damage. Have you seen those movies? The best friends is always the first to be blamed. But my point is, Laurens gots some mad abandonment issues. It kinda balances out really, you have jealously and mommy issues ohh I wonder if she has daddy issues cause then you guys would be totally messed up and totally perfect for one another!" Kenzi squealed.
"KENZI!"
"Right were getting of track Bo. You guys are together, souls and bonds and forevers. That sounds kind of dirty doesn't it? Whatever, not the point. Bo I know I don't have a bonded partner but Trick is all about the eternity and forever connection you guys have, which means when you get a stupid idea into your head you have to talk to your girl."
"I know…. that now"
"So what stopped you anyways?"
"Trick. He said that umm souls can't live without being complete"
"Holy shit balls, so what one of you dies so does the other! That's messed up Bo Bo" Bo stared at Kenzi trying to process how quickly she had gotten to the conclusion that had taken Bo much, much longer to reach. Shaking herself out of these thoughts Bo focused on Kenzi.
"Yeah we're a packaged deal to the end"
"What's the Doc say about this?"
"She's researching"
"So go ask her"
"I'm not allowed back into the room until I 'fully appreciate how much of an idiotic moron, who doesn't care about others feelings' I have been and how 'monumentally dumb my self-sacrificing ways are'"
"Whoa Hot Pants didn't hold back did she"
"No she didn't." Bo said wearily
Kenzi burst out laughing unable to handle her thoughts and Bo's face
"What's so funny Kenz?" Bo questioned tiredly
"It's just you're a succubus and you're never going to get laid again!" Kenzi tried to get her laughing under control, gasping for air "Can succubus's get blue balls?" Kenzi giggled, the stress of the past few days and the look on Bo's face was just too much to handle.
Bo stood up glaring at Kenzi
"Lauren was right you are immature"
"Ahhh take that back! You wound me with your mean words!" Kenzi clutched at her heart feigning hurt.
Bo continued to walk away stopping near the door way to stick out her tongue at Kenzi. Who was folded over the bar laughing uncontrollably.
….
"Am I forgiven?" Bo questioned quietly, standing by the door way staring tenderly at Lauren who was sitting on their bed reading. She looked so…. Lauren. It made Bo want to run to her, throw her arms around her neck and never let go. God she loved this woman, more than anything, more than anyone.
"Bo" Lauren sighed putting down her book.
"It's okay I get it. I was an idiot. I should have never tried to leave without telling you or saying goodbye. I know that, I do."
"Bo were together you have to talk to me. You have to include me."
"I always include you Lauren"
"NO you don't BO! And that's the problem. You're always trying to protect me! Always trying to save me. I'm the one who gets left behind in the lab while you go gallivanting about saving the day without me"
"I…. I thought you loved your lab"
"I do Bo. That's not my point. You count on so many people, Kenzi, Hale, Dyson, and Trick. But never me" Lauren fiddled with the book in her hands. Being with Bo was the happiest she ever remembered being, but she always felt so insecure about their relationship. With the bond it had gotten better, being able to feel what Bo was feeling definitely helped, but here she was trying to run away again.
"I count on you Lauren, I need you more than anyone"
"Do you really Bo? Or is it just because were bonded that we ended up here"
"What are you saying Lauren" Lauren threw the book on the bed jumping up to face her mate.
"I mean is the bond the only reason you're here Bo? Do you really believe without it we would be together? Or have you forgotten that before we could feel each other's emotions and share thoughts you consciously chose Dyson?" Bo angrily wiped at her eyes which were slowly filling with tears
"I made a mistake Lauren. I never meant to hurt you like that. You know if I could go back in time and change it I would."
"But you did Bo. You left me! And this morning you were about to do the same thing. I thought you were done leaving me behind. I guess I was wrong"
"NO! Lauren no! Sweetie please listen your right about everything, okay. I was wrong this morning I know that. But I'll make it up to you somehow"
"Were never going to be done are we?"
"Done what Lauren" Bo shouted as Lauren brushed by her on her way out the door.
"Done hurting each other" Lauren whispered turning to face Bo with the tears stains glistening down her cheeks. They stared at each other, two tear filled eyes separated by mere feet but it felt like more than that. A void was forming and as much as she tried, Bo couldn't get through the mental blocks Lauren was putting up. She couldn't hear her thoughts, feel her emotions. After being so used to it, Bo just felt empty.
"Don't go" Bo cried softly
"I'm sorry Bo, I'm going to sleep in the other room for tonight."
"Lauren" But it was too late she was gone. Bo cried openly, not the beautiful tears of the movies, but the sorrow filled heart wrenching sobs that come from within and nothing you do can possibly prevent them from spilling out.
….
"Yo Lil mama hows it hanging" Kenzi turned in her seat hitting Hale with the back of her hand.
"What took you so long?"
"Ouch sorry I am the Ash it takes me a little longer to ditch all of my responsibilities than it used to"
"Fine Sir Ashliness, thanks to you we only have like six hours until some big bad guys show up to take the Doc"
"I tried to stop it Kenz, but they wouldn't listen to me! Why be the Ash if you're just going to be ignored?"
"We don't have time for this Hale" Kenzi stated rolling her eyes at him
"They ignored you that sucks but we need a plan"
"I hear ya Kenz, but what are we going to do? We can't stop both the light and the dark fae."
"No but we can turn them against one another so they won't be so focused on us?"
"Tried that already but the Morrigan won't be deterred"
"Well come on Hale! We have to save them. Bo's going to go berserk if something happens to Lauren! And the Docs gonna get hurt and…." Kenzi took a deep gulp of air as Hale encircled her with his arms. He slowly rubbed soothing circles up and down her back
"Its okay Lil' mama I got you. It's going to be okay, I got you" Hale tried to reassure Kenzi but for the first time in a long time he didn't see any way out.
….
"Do we have a deal than Trick?" The Morrigan questioned smiling happily at the Blood king.
"Yes we do"
"And the doctor, will she agree to the terms?"
"I'll talk to her but she will see it is the only way" Trick got up from his chair hating himself for the bargain he had just made with the dark fae.
"Good" Evony waved her hand dismissing him. "See you soon Blood King" Trick nodded stopping at the door as Evony's words carried after him
"I would hurry Trick, time is running out and I want the doctor here before noon or the deal is off"
"I'm aware of your terms Evony" Trick replied sadly closing the door behind him
Evony smiled, I don't think you are Blood King, I don't think you are.
….
End file.
| fanfiction |
favored implantation sites for orthodontic miniscrews are the interdental alveolar bone within the attached gingiva and the palate .
these sites are considered anatomically safe , provide sufficient stability , and are covered by non - movable soft tissue.1,2,3,4 these sites are reportedly safe zones with regard to scar formation,5,6 and as miniscrews are of limited size , many clinicians assume complete healing after miniscrew removal . however , distinguishable scar - like tissue is frequently detected after miniscrew removal.7 scar - like tissue at the miniscrew removal site is characterized by specific morphological features , coloration , and texture . in general , the scar - like tissue is localized to the removal site with a small , elevated , lump - like morphology matching the size of the miniscrew diameter , is whitish in color , distinguishable from the adjacent reddish - pink gingiva or the oral mucosa , and exhibits a firm texture upon palpation as compared to the adjacent tissue ( figure 1).7 small scars do not cause functional disturbances , and in many cases are not detected by the patient or the practitioner , but esthetic and informed consent issues may arise when visible scarring is evident after treatment . to our knowledge , neither the pathology of scarring after miniscrew removal nor options to overcome these soft tissue limitations has been documented in the orthodontic literature
. the objectives of this report were to illustrate the typical features of soft tissue scars detected after the removal of miniscrews , and to present a clinical case of scar revision .
a female patient in her twenties came to the clinic with the chief complaints of crowding and a gummy smile .
the patient showed mild crowding with excessive gingival display and relatively short clinical crown height ( figure 2a ) .
therefore , the treatment objectives were set to improve anterior alignment and incisor display only .
esthetic mini - tubes and two - dimensional lingual brackets were bonded to the six anterior teeth of the maxilla and the mandible respectively . to improve the anterior dental esthetics ,
two self - drilling orthodontic miniscrews ( 1016107 ; ortholution , seoul , korea ) were inserted distal to the maxillary canines at the mucogingival junction , to apply intrusive force similar to that of j - hook headgear ( figure 2b).8 after 4 months , appliances were removed following gingivectomy ( figure 2c ) .
the lesions were distinguished from the adjacent tissue by a protuberant appearance and whitish coloration ( figure 2d , 2e , and 2f at greater magnification ) .
there was no associated discomfort , or pain on palpation , but it was visually distinct from the adjacent gingiva and the mucosa .
the lesions were exposed at full smile , and the patient felt self - conscious and desired removal of the lesions .
the lesions were clinically diagnosed as scars remaining after the removal of miniscrews.7 the scar tissues were excised as a form of scar revision under local anesthesia .
after 3 months , the sites became flat ( figure 2 g and 2h ) .
histologic evaluation of excisional biopsy samples of the scar and adjacent tissue confirmed hyperkeratosis , and dense collagen fibers of the dermis with flat and smoother rete pegs compared to the adjacent gingival tissue ( figure 2i and 2j ) .
however , it leaves a transitory full thickness defect penetrating the oral cavity , soft tissue , and underlying alveolar bone , which is healed by secondary intention .
scar formation is considered a common result of the healing process , with dense accumulation of collagen bundles and reduced extracellular matrix turnover of fibroblasts.5,9 because wound regeneration including maturation and remodeling usually continues for up to 12 months,10,11 scars detected after a year are expected to remain , as in the present case , rather than disappear with time . on clinical examination , scar lesions were localized to the removal site , and presented as small lumps with distinguishing coloration paler than that of the adjacent tissue .
hyperkeratosis may explain the whitish color , and the dense collagen matrix in the dermal layer is considered responsible for the external shape.12 taken together , the clinical and histological features reported herein suggest that the scar lesions are similar to those of a " hypertrophic scar " of the skin .
hypertrophic scarring is characterized by excessive deposition of extracellular matrix proteins limited to the boundary of the original wound .
it occurs when the inflammatory response is prolonged with increased vascularization , hypercellularity , and excessive collagen deposition.9,13 patient - related factors such as age , skin type , and genetics ; wound - related factors such as site of trauma , size , and type of inflammation ; and environmental factors such as mechanical loading play major roles in hypertrophic scar formation.14,15 it has been reported that the overall prevalence of visible scarring after miniscrew removal was higher than expected , at approximately 44.6% , and intrinsic host factors such as flat gingival biotype and miniscrew insertion site in the maxillary buccal interdental regions were associated with increased susceptibility to scarring.7 it has also been suggested that the removal of failed miniscrews may hinder healing due to persistent infection.16 in the patient reported herein , the miniscrews were stable without any sign of inflammation during their usage , and the insertion time was relatively short .
however , the patient belonged to the high - risk group with a flat gingival biotype , defined as relatively short and wide crown form of the upper central incisors with wide attached gingiva,17 and the insertion site at the buccal interdental region . surgical excision followed by histological evaluation for differential diagnosis was selected as the treatment of choice for scar revision , because no other non - invasive procedures were available .
although the patient was fully satisfied with the clinical outcome , subjects who are susceptible to scarring may display repeated intra - oral scar formation after surgical removal .
currently , a lack of published scientific studies hinders the prediction of scarring and the development of preventative measures .
additional miniscrew studies should focus on methods to improve soft tissue healing after their temporary application , and reducing irreversible scar formation .
although such scarring is limited to the site of insertion and small in size , it may cause esthetic issues .
surgical removal is possible , but further studies on methods to improve soft tissue healing and to prevent visible scarring are necessary . | pubmed |
consider the beltrami equation @xmath7 where @xmath8 is a lebesgue measurable function on the complex plane @xmath9 satisfying @xmath10 . according to a remarkable old theorem of morrey @xcite
there exists an essentially unique function @xmath11 in the sobolev space @xmath12 ( functions with first order derivatives locally in @xmath13 ) which satisfies almost everywhere and is a _ homeomorphism of the plane_. these functions are called quasiconformal .
it turns out that @xmath11 may change drastically the hausdorff dimension of sets .
indeed , sets of arbitrarily small positive hausdorff dimension may be mapped into sets of hausdorff dimension as close to @xmath14 as desired ( and the other way around by the inverse mapping ) .
there has been during the last decades much hard and penetrating work in understanding how @xmath11 distorts sets ( see , for instance @xcite and the references given there or @xcite for a recent result ) .
on the other hand , orientation preserving bilipschitz homeomorphisms of the plane are easily seen to satisfy a beltrami equation for a certain beltrami coefficent @xmath15 since bilipschitz mappings preserve all metric properties of sets , in particular hausdorff dimension , they appear to be a distinguished subclass of particularly simple quasiconformal mappings . in @xcite
one gives geometric conditions which are necessary and sufficient for @xmath11 being bilipschitz , but which do not involve the beltrami coefficient @xmath8 .
in fact , it is widely accepted that the problem of characterizing in an efficient way those @xmath8 which determine bilipschitz mappings is hopeless .
a classical result that goes back to schauder ( @xcite ) asserts that @xmath11 is of class @xmath16 provided @xmath8 is a compactly supported function in @xmath17 .
it is then not difficult to see that @xmath11 is indeed bilipschitz .
the main result of this paper identifies a class of non - smooth functions @xmath8 which determine bilipschitz quasiconformal mappings @xmath11 .
[ t ] let @xmath18 , @xmath19 , be a finite family of disjoint bounded domains of the plane with boundary of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 , and let @xmath21 where @xmath22 is of class @xmath23 assume in addition that @xmath10 .
then the associated quasiconformal mapping @xmath11 is bilipschitz .
notice that the boundaries of the @xmath24 may touch , even on a set of positive length and , of course , @xmath8 may have jumps on the boundary of some @xmath25 in particular , if we only have one domain and @xmath8 is constant we obtain the following corollary .
[ c1 ] if @xmath1 is a bounded domain of the plane with boundary of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 , and @xmath26 , where @xmath27 is a complex number such that @xmath28 , then the associated quasiconformal mapping @xmath11 is bilipschitz .
if @xmath1 is a disc then corollary 1 reduces to the fact that @xmath11 can be computed explicitly and that one can check by direct inspection that is bilipschitz . if @xmath1 is a square @xmath29 , then one can show that the mapping @xmath11 associated to @xmath30 is not lipschitz for some @xmath27 of modulus less than @xmath6 , so that the corollary and thus the theorem are sharp as far as the smoothness of the boundaries of the @xmath24 is concerned .
recall that a @xmath8-quasi - regular function on a domain @xmath31 is a complex function @xmath3 in @xmath32 satisfying ( 1 ) , with @xmath11 replaced by @xmath3 , almost everywhere in @xmath31 . by stoilow
s factorization theorem , @xmath33 for some holomorphic function @xmath34 on @xmath35 from the theorem we then conclude that @xmath3 is locally lipschitz on @xmath31 .
this improves on mori s theorem , which asserts that , for general @xmath8 , @xmath3 is locally in @xmath36 for @xmath37 .
thus , from the perspective of pde , the theorem may also be viewed as a regularity result for the beltrami equation .
the beltrami equation is intimately related to second order elliptic equations in divergence form ot the type @xmath38 where @xmath39 is a @xmath40 symmetric elliptic matrix with bounded measurable coefficients and determinant @xmath6 ( see ( * ? ? ?
* chapter 13 ) ) .
indeed , the real and imaginary parts of a solution to the beltrami equation satisfy , where the entries of the matrix @xmath41 are given explicitly in terms of the beltrami coeficient .
conversely , given a solution @xmath42 of , one may find a solution of an appropiate beltrami equation whose real part is @xmath43 thus for regularity issues one can work indistinctly with the beltrami equation or with equation .
the proof of the theorem gives , in particular , the following regularity result for solutions of equation .
[ c2 ] let @xmath24 , @xmath19 , be a finite family of disjoint bounded domains of the plane with boundary of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 , and assume that each @xmath24 is contained in bounded domain @xmath31 with boundary of class @xmath2 .
let @xmath44 a @xmath40 symmetric elliptic matrix with determinant @xmath6 and entries supported in @xmath45 and belonging to @xmath46 @xmath47 let @xmath42 be a solution of equation in @xmath48 let @xmath49 stand for the set of points in @xmath31 at distance greater than @xmath50 from the boundary of @xmath48 then @xmath51 for @xmath52 and @xmath47 in particular , @xmath53 and @xmath42 is a locally lipschitz function in @xmath48 the main point of the corollary above is that each solution of is locally lipschitz in @xmath54 while the classical de giorgi - nash theorem gives only that @xmath42 satisfies locally a lipschitz condition of order @xmath55 for some @xmath56 satisfying @xmath57 see section 8 for an extension to more general domains , which may have cusps .
there is some overlapping here with previous results by li and vogelius ( @xcite ) and li and nirenberg ( @xcite ) .
see at the end of the introduction for more about that .
another application of our theorem concerns removability problems .
there has recently been a renewed interest in gaining a better understanding of the nature of removable sets for bounded quasi - regular functions ( see @xcite , @xcite and @xcite ) . since bilipschitz mappings preserve removable sets for bounded holomorphic functions ( @xcite ) , the theorem immediately says that the removable sets for bounded @xmath8-quasi - regular functions , with @xmath8 as in the theorem , are exactly the removable sets for bounded holomorphic functions .
if @xmath1 is a domain , the @xmath58 norm of a function @xmath3 on @xmath1 is @xmath59 where @xmath60 the main difficulty in proving the theorem lies in the fact that no smallness assumption is made on @xmath61 . in the same vein ,
corollary 1 is much more difficult to prove if @xmath62 is close to @xmath6 .
if one assumes that @xmath63 is small enough ( depending on @xmath24 ) for each @xmath64 , then the theorem becomes easier .
similarly , the corollary 1 becomes easier under the assumption that @xmath65 .
see a sketch of the argument at the end of section 2 .
the scheme for the proof of the theorem is inspired by a clever idea of iwaniec @xcite in the context of @xmath66 spaces , which has been further exploited in @xcite .
this idea brings into play the index theory of fredholm operators on banach spaces and , thus , compact operators .
our underlying banach space is @xmath67 a domain with boundary of class @xmath2 , and on this space we estimate the beurling transform and its powers .
we also show that the commutator between the beurling transform and certain functions is compact on appropriate larger lipschitz spaces .
the beurling transform is the principal value convolution operator @xmath68 the fourier multiplier of @xmath69 is @xmath70 , or , in other words , @xmath71 thus @xmath69 is an isometry on @xmath72 .
our main lemma shows that for each even smooth homogeneous caldern - zygmund operator @xmath73 the mapping @xmath74 sends continuously @xmath75 into itself , where @xmath1 is a bounded domain with boundary of class @xmath76 throughout the paper we understand that , for @xmath77 @xmath78 the above boundedness result fails if @xmath73 is not even . as a simple example , one may take as @xmath73 the hilbert transform and as @xmath1 the interval @xmath79 .
the even character of @xmath73 is used in the proof of the main lemma in the form @xmath80 which should be understood as a local version of the global cancellation property @xmath81 common to all smooth homogeneous caldern - zygmund operators .
this was proved by iwaniec for the beurling transform in @xcite . in section 2
we present a detailed sketch of the proof and we introduce the lemmas required . in section 3 the main lemma is proved in @xmath82 .
section 4 deals with commutators .
we compare in section 5 the operator @xmath83 with @xmath84 , @xmath1 a bounded domain with boundary of class @xmath2 , and we show that the difference is compact on @xmath85 , for @xmath86
. in section 6 one completes the proof of the theorem for the case of one domain .
section 7 contains the reduction to the one domain case . in section 8
we present an extension of the theorem to what seems to be its more natural setting , namely domains with cusps whose boundary is of class @xmath16 off the set of cusps .
applications to the regularity theory of solutions of equation is this setting are also mentioned .
after a first version of the paper was completed , daniel faraco brought to our attention the work of li and vogelius @xcite ( and @xcite ) , which deals with lipschitz regularity for the equation in @xmath82 for matrices with entries satisfying a lipschitz condition of order @xmath87 on finitely many disjoint domains with boundary of class @xmath16 , but with possible jumps across the boundaries .
the closures of the domains were disjoint and a main point was to obtain gradient estimates independent of the mutual distances between the closed domains .
this is not an issue for our methods , which even allow touching domains .
moreover , as stated before in corollary 2 , for each solution of we obtain a regularity of class @xmath88 , for each @xmath89 in each domain .
this is almost the expected best possible result , namely @xmath16 in each domain . in @xcite
there is a more substantial loss , due to the techniques employed . on the other hand ,
the setting in @xcite and @xcite is more general , in the sense that one works in @xmath82 , there is no restriction on the determinant of the matrix and also non - homogeneous terms are considered .
we also learnt from antonio crdoba that the regularity theory of the euler equation in 2d , in particular the regularity theory of vortex patches , makes broad use of even caldern - zygmund operators , the beurling transform in particular .
we then became aware of the article @xcite , in which one also proves the main lemma .
however , the proof there is different , and certainly not as much in the caldern - zygmund tradition as ours .
first of all , there is a standard factorization method in quasiconformal mapping theory that reduces the theorem to the case of only one domain @xmath90 the argument is presented in detail in section 7 .
then , from now on we will assume that @xmath8 vanishes off some domain @xmath1 with boundary of class @xmath2 and that @xmath91 as is well known , @xmath11 is given explicitly by the formula @xcite @xmath92 where @xmath93 is the cauchy transform of @xmath34 .
recall the important relation between the cauchy and the beurling transforms : @xmath94 , @xmath95 .
the function @xmath96 is determined by the equation @xmath97 as soon as we can invert the operator @xmath98 on @xmath85 , for some @xmath99 satisfying @xmath86 , then @xmath100 and thus @xmath34 is in @xmath85 and , in particular , is bounded on @xmath1 . by the beltrami equation ,
@xmath34 vanishes on @xmath101 and therefore @xmath34 is in @xmath102 . on the other hand , @xmath103 . by the main lemma
, @xmath104 is in @xmath102 ( see below ) , and so @xmath11 is a lipschitz function on the plane . showing that @xmath11 is bilipschitz still requires an argument .
indeed , we have shown up to now that @xmath11 is of class @xmath105 and thus its jacobian is non - zero at each point of @xmath1 ( ( * ? ? ?
* theorem 7.1 , p. 233 ) ) . on the other hand
, @xmath11 is conformal on @xmath101 and thus the jacobian is also non - zero there .
however we can not infer immediately that the jacobian is bounded below away from zero either on @xmath1 or on @xmath101 .
this is proved in section [ sec6 ] and hence @xmath106 is bilipschitz .
it remains to prove that @xmath107 is invertible on @xmath85 for each @xmath99 with @xmath86 . for @xmath3 in @xmath75
set @xmath108 where , as we said in the introduction , @xmath109 stands for @xmath110 following @xcite we define @xmath111 so that we have @xmath112 where @xmath113 can be easily seen to be a finite sum of operators that contain as a factor the commutator @xmath114 .
lemma 3 in section 4 asserts that @xmath115 is compact on @xmath85 for each @xmath99 less than @xmath116 , so that @xmath117 is also compact on @xmath85 .
one would like to have now that the operator norm of @xmath118 on @xmath85 is small if @xmath119 is large .
would this be so , then @xmath120 would be a fredholm operator on @xmath85 .
but it looks like a difficult task to obtain estimates for the operator norm of @xmath83 better than the obvious exponential upper bound @xmath121 .
we overcome this difficulty by finding an expression of the form @xmath122 where @xmath123 is compact on @xmath85 .
this is done in theorem 1 in section 5 . incidentally , in turns out that @xmath124 when @xmath1 is a disc , so that in this case @xmath125 is exactly @xmath126 for each @xmath119 .
then can be rewritten as @xmath127 where @xmath128 is compact on @xmath85 .
the kernel of @xmath129 may be computed explicitly , for instance via a fourier transform argument @xcite , and one obtains @xmath130 thus the caldern - zygmund constant of @xmath131 , namely , @xmath132 is less than @xmath133 , where @xmath134 is a positive constant . hence , by the main lemma @xmath135 which tells us that the operator norm of @xmath136 as an operator on @xmath85 is small for large @xmath119 .
therefore @xmath120 is a fredholm operator on @xmath85 .
clearly @xmath137 , @xmath138 is a continuous path from the identity to @xmath120 . by the index theory of fredholm operators on banach spaces ( e.g. @xcite ) ,
the index is a continuous function of the operator .
hence @xmath120 has index @xmath139 . on
the other hand @xmath120 is injective , because if @xmath140 , then @xmath141 , which is possible only if @xmath142 .
thus @xmath120 is invertible on @xmath85 . as we mentioned before , the proof of the theorem simplifies if @xmath143 is assumed to be less than a small number @xmath144 .
in this case one can invert @xmath145 by a neumann series and get @xmath146 by the main lemma @xmath147 is bounded on @xmath75 .
denote by @xmath148 its operator norm and assume that @xmath149 .
then @xmath150 but is also part of the main lemma that @xmath151 hence , if we also assume that @xmath152 , we have @xmath153 thus @xmath154 and so @xmath11 is a lipschitz function . that @xmath11 is bilipschitz follows from @xmath155
in this section we move to @xmath82 .
we say that a bounded domain @xmath156 has a boundary of class @xmath2 if @xmath157 is a @xmath158 hyper - surface whose unit normal vector satisfies a lipschitz condition of order @xmath116 as a function on the surface . to state an alternative condition , for @xmath159 we use the notation @xmath160 , where @xmath161 . then @xmath1 has a boundary of class @xmath2 if for each point
@xmath162 one may find a ball @xmath163 and a function @xmath164 , of class @xmath2 , such that , after a rotation if necessary , @xmath165 is the part of @xmath163 lying below the graph of @xmath166 .
thus we get @xmath167 a smooth ( of class @xmath158 ) homogeneous caldern - zygmund operator is a principal value convolution operator of type @xmath168 where @xmath169 @xmath170 being a homogeneous function of degree @xmath139 , continuously differentiable on @xmath171 and with zero integral on the unit sphere .
the maximal singular integral associated to @xmath73 is @xmath172 where @xmath173 the caldern - zygmund constant of the kernel of @xmath73 is defined as @xmath174 the operator @xmath73 is said to be even if the kernel is even , namely , if @xmath175 for all @xmath176 we are now ready to state our main lemma .
the definition of the norm in @xmath75 is as in . as we explained in the previous section ,
we need the precise form of the constant in the inequality below .
let @xmath1 be a bounded domain with boundary of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 , and let @xmath73 be an even smooth homogeneous caldern - zygmund operator .
then @xmath73 maps @xmath75 into @xmath75 , and @xmath73 also maps @xmath75 into @xmath177 .
in fact , one has the inequalities @xmath178 and @xmath179 where @xmath134 is a constant depending only on @xmath119 , @xmath116 and @xmath1 . we choose a positive @xmath180 small enough so that a series of properties that will be needed along the proof are satisfied .
the first one is that for each @xmath181 , which we can assume to be @xmath182 , we have . after a rotation
we may assume that the tangent hyperplane to @xmath183 at @xmath139 is @xmath184 .
we take @xmath185 so small that latexmath:[\[\label{eq7 } for some positive constant @xmath134 depending only on @xmath1 .
we claim that @xmath187 the proof of is a technical variation of the proof of lemma 5 in @xcite .
we have @xmath188 & = i_\delta + ii \ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] clearly , @xmath189 to deal with the term @xmath190 we write @xmath191 & \quad+ f(x)\int_{\delta < |y - x| < r_0 } \chi_\omega(y)\ , k(x - y)\,dy \\*[5pt ] & = iii_\delta+ f(x)\,iv_\delta \ , , \end{split}\ ] ] and we remark that @xmath192 can easily be estimated as follows @xmath193 taking care of @xmath194 is not so easy .
assume first that @xmath195 is in @xmath157 .
without loss of generality we may also assume that the tangent hyperplane to @xmath157 at @xmath139 is @xmath196 ( see figure 1 ) .
+ figure 1 let @xmath197 be the half space @xmath198 . take spherical coordinates @xmath199 with @xmath200 and @xmath201 .
then @xmath202 where @xmath203 and @xmath204 is the surface measure on the unit sphere @xmath205 .
since @xmath206 is even , @xmath207 thus @xmath208 and so @xmath209 by , we obtain @xmath210 which yields , by , @xmath211 take now @xmath212 .
denote by @xmath213 the distance from @xmath214 to @xmath157 and let @xmath215 be a point in @xmath157 where such distance is attained .
set @xmath216 and @xmath217 we compare @xmath194 to the expression we get replacing @xmath214 by @xmath215 and @xmath50 by @xmath218 in the definition of @xmath194 . for @xmath219 we have , by the standard cancellation property of the kernel , @xmath220 and then @xmath221 & = \left|\int_{a } k(x - y)\,dy - \int_{a_0 } k(x_0-y)\,dy \right| \\*[7pt ] & \leq \int_{a\cap a_0 } \!\chi_\omega(y)\ , k(x - y)\,dy \right| + \left| \int_{a_0 \setminus a } \chi_\omega(y)\ , k(x_0-y)\,dy \right| \\*[7pt ] & = j_1+j_2+j_3\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] if @xmath222 , then @xmath223 hence @xmath224 to estimate @xmath225 observe that @xmath226 assume for the moment that @xmath227 . now , it is obvious that if @xmath228 , then @xmath229 , and so @xmath230 a similar argument does the job for @xmath231 .
if @xmath232 , then the estimate of @xmath233 is straightforward . indeed , by the cancellation of the kernel we may assume that @xmath234 and so @xmath235 this completes the proof of .
our next task is to estimate the semi - norm @xmath236 on @xmath1 . for this
we need a lemma , which should be viewed as a manifestation of the extra cancellation enjoyed by even kernels .
notice that no smoothness assumptions on the kernel are required .
the lemma is known for the beurling transform ( @xcite ) .
[ cancel ] let @xmath237 , where @xmath238 is an even homogeneous function of degree @xmath139 , integrable on the unit sphere and with vanishing integral there .
let @xmath73 be the associated caldern - zygmund operator defined by .
then @xmath239 assume , without loss of generality that @xmath69 is the unit ball .
fix a point @xmath214 in @xmath69 .
then @xmath240 expressing the latest integral above in polar coordinates @xmath241 centered at @xmath214 , we get @xmath242 the lower value @xmath243 is determined as shown in figure 2 .
+ figure 2 since @xmath238 has zero integral on the unit sphere , @xmath244 set @xmath245 be the half of the unit sphere above the hyperplane @xmath246 . since @xmath238 is even ,
@xmath247 now , the points @xmath139,@xmath214 , @xmath248 and @xmath249 lie in a plane that intersects the unit sphere in a circumference .
it is clear from figure 2 that the product @xmath250 is the power of @xmath214 with respect to that circumference and thus it does not depend on @xmath251 ( in fact it is exactly @xmath252 . since the integral of @xmath238 on each semi - sphere is zero
the proof is complete .
we are now ready to estimate the semi - norm @xmath236 .
we deal first with the case @xmath253 .
the general case follows from this by the @xmath254-theorem for lipschitz spaces on spaces of homogeneous type @xcite ( see also @xcite and @xcite for the non - doubling case ) .
the conditions on the kernel required in @xcite ( and in @xcite , @xcite ) are implied by the fact that @xmath255 , which we proved before . however , in our particular setting the reduction to @xmath253 is elementary and will be discussed afterwards for the sake of completeness . we want to prove that @xmath256 fix @xmath214 and @xmath257 in @xmath1 . changing notation if necessary
, we can assume that @xmath258 .
we may also assume , without loss of generality , that @xmath259 .
otherwise we have @xmath260 where @xmath261 and @xmath134 depends only on @xmath1 .
notice that @xmath262 , because @xmath263 and the kernel of @xmath73 is continuously differentiable off the origin . indeed , for some constant depending only on @xmath264 and @xmath1 , we have @xmath265 we may also assume , without loss of generality , that @xmath266 , because , otherwise , @xmath267 having settled these preliminaries we proceed to the core of the proof of .
we may assume that the point of @xmath157 nearest to @xmath214 is the origin .
let @xmath69 be the ball with center @xmath268 and radius @xmath269 , so that @xmath270 is tangent to @xmath157 at @xmath139 .
let @xmath128 stand for the set @xmath271 .
the central idea in the proof of the main lemma is to use the extra cancellation of even caldern - zygmund operators via lemma 1 to write latexmath:[\[|t(\chi_\omega)(x)-t(\chi_\omega)(y ) | = the obvious advantage is that @xmath128 is a region which is tangential " to @xmath157 at @xmath139 , and hence small . by we
may take @xmath269 so small that for some constant @xmath134 depending only on @xmath1 @xmath273 where @xmath274 stands for the inward unit normal vector to @xmath157 at @xmath139 and @xmath275 denotes the scalar product in @xmath82 .
thus , if @xmath269 is small enough , @xmath276 we distinguish two cases according to whether the position of @xmath214 and @xmath257 relative to @xmath157 is non - tangential or tangential . to make this precise we introduce the cone @xmath277 with vertex @xmath139 and amplitude @xmath278 , namely , @xmath279 clearly ,
if @xmath269 is chosen small enough , then the part of the cone near @xmath139 is contained in @xmath1 and in @xmath69 .
more precisely , @xmath280 see figure 3 .
+ figure 3 _ case 1 : _
@xmath214 and @xmath257 are in non - tangential position , that is , @xmath214 and @xmath257 belong to @xmath277 .
we have @xmath281 & \quad + \left |\int_{s \cap b(x,{r_0 } ) } k(x - z)\,dz - \int_{s \cap b(y,{r_0 } ) } k(y - z)\,dz \right| \\*[7pt ] & = i+ii\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] split @xmath282 into three terms as follows @xmath283 & \quad + \left
|\int_{s \cap b^c(x,{r_0})\cap b^c(y,{r_0 } ) } \left(k(x - z)-k(y - z)\right)\,dz \right| \\*[7pt ] & = i_1+i_2 + i_3 \ , . \end{split}\ ] ] the terms @xmath284 and @xmath285 are estimated in the same way .
for instance , for @xmath284 , we get @xmath286 & \leq \frac{c}{{r_0}^n}\,|x - y|\,{r_0}^{n-1 } = \frac{c}{{r_0}}\,|x - y|\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] where in the latest inequality we used that @xmath287 the term @xmath288 is controlled by a gradient estimate , namely , @xmath289 the more difficult term @xmath290 is not greater than @xmath291 & \qquad\quad + \left| \int_{s \cap b(y,2\,|x - y ) } k(y - z)\,dz \right|\\*[9pt ] & \qquad\quad + \left|\int_{s \cap b(x,{r_0})\cap b^c(x,2\,|x - y| ) } k(x - z)\,dz - \int_{s \cap b(y,{r_0})\cap b^c(y,2\,|x - y| ) } k(y - z)\,dz \right| \\*[9pt ] & \qquad = ii_1 + ii_2+iii\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] estimating the three terms above requires a simple lemma .
[ lemma 2 ] if @xmath269 is small enough , then one has @xmath292 for @xmath293 . according to the definition of the cone @xmath277 and by @xmath294 & \leq ( 1+\sqrt{2})\,|z - w|+ \sqrt{2}\,|(z,\overrightarrow{n})|\\*[5pt ] & \le ( 1+\sqrt{2})\,|z - w|+ \sqrt{2}\,c\ , |z|^{1+{\varepsilon}}\\*[5pt ] & \le ( 1+\sqrt{2})\,|z - w|+ \sqrt{2}\,c\,{r_0}^{\varepsilon}\ , |z|\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] if @xmath269 satisfies @xmath295 , then @xmath296 , which proves the lemma . to estimate the term @xmath297
we apply lemma 2 to @xmath298 to obtain @xmath299 changing to polar coordinates we get @xmath300 by @xmath301 and hence @xmath302 one estimates @xmath303 likewise , so we turn our attention to @xmath304 .
the method is similar to what we have done before with other terms : in the intersection of the domains of integration of the two integrals in @xmath304 we apply a gradient estimate and in the complement , which we split in four terms , we resort to the smallness of the resulting domain of integration .
performing the plan just sketched we get @xmath305 & \quad + \left|\int_{s \cap b(x,{r_0 } ) \cap b^c(x,2\,|x - y|)\cap b^c(y,{r_0 } ) } k(x - z)\,dz \right|\\*[5pt ] & \quad + \left|\int_{s \cap b(x,{r_0 } ) \cap b^c(x,2\,|x - y| ) \cap b(y,2\,|x - y| ) } k(x - z)\,dz \right|\\*[5pt ] & \quad + \left|\int_{s \cap b(y,{r_0 } ) \cap b^c(y,2\,|x - y|)\cap b^c(x,{r_0 } ) } k(x - z)\,dz \right|\\*[5pt ] & \quad + \left|\int_{s \cap b(y,{r_0 } ) \cap b^c(y,2\,|x - y| ) \cap b(x,2\,|x - y| ) } k(x - z)\,dz \right|\\*[5pt ] & = iii_1 + iii_2 + iii_3 + iii_4 + iii_5 \ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] by a gradient estimate @xmath306 is not greater than @xmath307 where has been used in the first inequality .
the terms @xmath308 and @xmath309 are estimated in the same way .
for instance , for @xmath308 we have @xmath310 & \le \frac{c}{{r_0}^n}\ , |b(x,{r_0 } ) \cap b^c(y,{r_0})|\\*[7pt ] & \le \frac{c}{{r_0}}\ , |x - y|\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] the terms @xmath311 nd @xmath312 are also estimated in the same way .
for instance , for @xmath311 we have @xmath313 since @xmath314 , for @xmath315 , we get by lemma 2 @xmath316 and so , making use of , @xmath317 _ case 2 : _ @xmath214 and @xmath257 are in tangential position , that is , @xmath318 we intend to perform a reduction to the non - tangential case . with this in mind take the point @xmath319 in @xmath157 nearest to @xmath257 and let @xmath320 be the inner unit normal vector to @xmath157 at the point @xmath319 .
consider the ray @xmath321 .
see the figure 4 . + figure 4 the condition on @xmath322 for @xmath323 is @xmath324 we clearly have @xmath325 and @xmath326 a sufficient condition for is then @xmath327 if @xmath269 is small enough , then @xmath328 , and thus we obtain a simpler sufficient condition for namely , @xmath329 set @xmath330 , so that @xmath331 .
the reduction will be completed if we show that @xmath332 on one hand , and @xmath257 and @xmath333 on the other , are in non - tangential position .
clearly @xmath334 . since @xmath335 , @xmath336 , and
hence @xmath337 which yields @xmath338 therefore @xmath339 & \geq |y'| \geq \left(1-\frac{1}{\sqrt{2}}\right)\,|y|\\*[5pt ] & = c\ , |y - y_0|\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] which is .
this completes the proof that @xmath340 .
we now proceed to prove that for an arbitrary @xmath341 one has that @xmath342 .
recall that we already know that @xmath343(see ) . to estimate the semi - norm @xmath236 we start with the obvious decomposition of @xmath344 , namely , @xmath345 so that only the first term , which we denote by @xmath346 , is still a problem .
let @xmath41 stand for @xmath347 and set @xmath348 .
then @xmath349\,dy \\*[7pt ] & \quad + \
! \int_{b } \left [ ( f(y)-f(x_1 ) ) \ ,
k(x_1-y ) \!-\ ! ( f(y)\!-\!f(x_2 ) ) \ , k(x_2-y)\right]\,dy\\*[7pt ] & = i+ii\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] set @xmath350
. clearly @xmath351 .
the term @xmath282 is easy to estimate as indicated below .
@xmath352 & \le c\,\|f\|_{\varepsilon}\ , \int_0^{3\,|x_1-x_2| } r^{-1+{\varepsilon}}\,dr \\*[7pt ] & = c\,\|f\|_{\varepsilon}\,|x_1-x_2|^{\varepsilon}\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] for the term @xmath290 we have @xmath353 & \quad + ( f(x_2)-f(x_1))\ , \int_{b } k(x_1-y)\,dy \\*[7pt ] & = iii+iv\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] on one hand , by a gradient estimate we get @xmath354 & = \|f\|_{\varepsilon}\,|x_1-x_2|\ , \int_{2\,|x_1-x_2|}^\infty r^{-2+{\varepsilon}}\,dr \\*[7pt ] & = c\,\|f\|_{\varepsilon}\,|x_1-x_2|^{\varepsilon}\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] and on the other hand , we clearly have by @xmath355 finally , one can check without pain that the arguments above may be adapted to yield the boundedness of @xmath73 as a map from @xmath75 into @xmath177 .
in this section we consider the commutator between the smooth homogeneous even caldern - zygmund operator @xmath73 ( see ) and the multiplication operator by a function @xmath356 @xmath357(f)(x)= \int_\omega \left ( a(x)-a(y)\right)\,k(x - y)\,f(y)\,dy\,,\quad x \in \omega\,,\ ] ] where @xmath358 is the kernel of @xmath73 and @xmath359 . as in the previous section
, @xmath1 is a bounded domain in @xmath82 with smooth boundary of class @xmath2 , @xmath360 [ lemma 3 ] for @xmath361 and @xmath362 we have the estimate @xmath363 ( f)\|_\alpha \le c\ , \sigma_\alpha(a)\ , \|f\|_\beta\,,\quad f \in \operatorname{lip}(\beta,\omega)\,,\ ] ] where @xmath134 is a constant depending only on @xmath119 , @xmath1 , @xmath116 , @xmath56 and @xmath364 .
recall that for @xmath361 , @xmath365 where @xmath366 is the supremum norm of @xmath367 on @xmath1 and @xmath368 a consequence of the preceding lemma is that if @xmath369 and @xmath370 then the commutator @xmath371 $ ] is compact as an operator from @xmath372 into itself .
this follows from the fact that each ball of @xmath373 is relatively compact in @xmath372 ( ( * ? ? ?
* corollary 3.3 , p. 154 ) ) .
the lemma is applied to the beurling transform and the function @xmath374 .
then @xmath375 and @xmath376 , where @xmath99 is any number with @xmath86 .
we first estimate @xmath377 ( f)\|_\infty$ ] . for each @xmath378 , @xmath379 & \le c\,\sigma_\alpha(a)\ , \|f\|_\infty \
, \int_0^{d } r^{-1+\alpha}\,dr \\*[7pt ] & = c\,\sigma_\alpha(a)\ , \|f\|_\infty \ , d^\alpha \ , , \end{split}\ ] ] where @xmath380 is the diameter of @xmath1 .
we turn now to the more difficult task of estimating @xmath381(f))$ ] .
fix @xmath382 and @xmath383 in @xmath1 .
then @xmath384 & = i + ii\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] and clearly , by the main lemma , @xmath385 to estimate @xmath290 we introduce the sets @xmath386 and @xmath387 notice that @xmath388 and @xmath389 ) denote the absolute value of the integral in @xmath290 with domain of integration restricted to @xmath390 ( respectively to @xmath391 ) . by a gradient estimate @xmath392 & \le c\,|x_1-x_2|\,\sigma_\alpha(a)\ , \|f\|_\infty \int_{a } c\,|x_1-x_2|\,\sigma_\alpha(a)\ , \|f\|_\infty \int_{|x_1-x_2|}^\infty r^{-2+\alpha}\,dr\\*[7pt ] & \le c\,\sigma_\alpha(a)\ , \|f\|_\infty \,|x_1-x_2|^\alpha\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] for the term @xmath393 we have @xmath394 & \quad + \left|\int_b ( a(x_2)-a(y))\,(k(x_2-y)\,f(y)\,dy \right| \\*[7pt ] & = iii+iv\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] and @xmath395 can be estimated directly as follows @xmath396 & \le \sigma_\alpha(a)\ , \|f\|_\infty \
, \int_0^{3\,|x_1-x_2| } r^{-1+\alpha}\,dr \\*[7pt ] & = c\ , \sigma_\alpha(a)\ , \|f\|_\infty \,|x_1-x_2|^\alpha\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] the term @xmath304 needs an additional manoeuvre , which consists is bringing back @xmath397 : @xmath398 & \quad + |a(x_2)-a(x_1)|\left|\int_b k(x_1-y)f(y)\,dy)\right| \\*[7pt ] & = iv ' + v\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] and @xmath399 can be treated as @xmath395 . now @xmath400 and
thus , by , @xmath401 therefore @xmath402
recall that if @xmath69 is the beurling transform then @xmath403 the main goal of this section is to prove the following result .
[ th1 ] let @xmath404 be a bounded domain with boundary of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 .
then , for each positive integer @xmath119 , we have @xmath405 where @xmath123 is a compact operator from @xmath85 into itself , @xmath86 . for @xmath406 , we obtain , proceeding by induction , @xmath407 & = b\left(b^{n-1}(f)\,\chi_\omega+k_{n-1}(f)\right)\,\chi_\omega \\*[5pt ] & = b\left(b^{n-1}(f)- b^{n-1}(f)\,\chi_{\omega^c}+k_{n-1}(f)\right)\,\chi_\omega\\*[5pt ] & = b^n(f)\,\chi_\omega - b(b^{n-1}(f)\,\chi_{\omega^c})\,\chi_\omega + b(k_{n-1}(f))\,\chi_\omega\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] it is then enough to prove that , for @xmath408 , the operator @xmath409 is compact from @xmath85 into itself .
let @xmath410 stand for area measure in the plane and take a function @xmath411 .
then , for @xmath412 , @xmath413 & = - \frac{1}{\pi } \int_{\omega^c } \frac{1}{(z - w)^2 } \frac{(-1)^n n}{\pi}\,\int_\omega \frac{(\overline{w-\zeta})^{n-1}}{(w-\zeta)^{n+1}}\,f(\zeta)\,da(\zeta ) \,da(w ) \\*[7pt ] & = c_n\ , \int_\omega k(z,\zeta)\,f(\zeta)\,da(\zeta)\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] where @xmath414 and @xmath415 notice that if @xmath1 is a disc , say the unit disc , then @xmath416 to see this readily , apply green - stokes theorem to the complement of the unit disc to obtain @xmath417 expand @xmath418 by newton s formula and then use @xmath419 thus @xmath420 is a finite sum of integrals over the unit cercle of rational functions with all poles in the open unit disc .
hence each of these integrals is zero .
we claim that if @xmath1 is not a disc , then the operator @xmath421 which may be non - zero , is a smoothing operator . by this
we mean that @xmath422 where @xmath134 depends only on @xmath56 , @xmath116 and @xmath1 .
of course completes the proof of theorem 1 , because then @xmath423 maps the unit ball of @xmath85 into a ball of @xmath373 , for @xmath424 , which is relatively compact in @xmath85 provided @xmath425 .
our next goal is to show that is a consequence of the properties of the kernel @xmath420 described in the following lemma .
[ lemma4 ] the kernel @xmath420 satisfies the following @xmath426 & \text{(ii)}\hskip1cm|k(z_1,\zeta)-k(z_2,\zeta)| \le c \ ,
\frac{|z_1-z_2|^\varepsilon}{|\zeta - z_1|^2}\,,\quad z_1,\,z_2 \in \omega\,,\quad |\zeta - z_1| \geq 2\,|z_1-z_2|\,.\end{aligned}\ ] ] before discussing the proof of lemma 6 we show how it yields .
we first prove that @xmath427 is bounded on @xmath1 . denoting by @xmath380 the diameter of @xmath1
, we obtain , by lemma 6 ( i ) , @xmath428 & \le c\ , \|f\|_\infty\ , \int_0^d r^{-1+{\varepsilon}}\,dr \\*[7pt ] & = c\,d^{\varepsilon}\ , \|f\|_\infty \ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] next we claim that @xmath429 clearly follows from . to prove take @xmath430 .
define @xmath431 and @xmath432 .
therefore @xmath433 applying lemma 6 ( i ) , the terms @xmath282 and @xmath290 can be estimated by @xmath434 applying lemma 6 ( ii ) , the term @xmath304 can be estimated by @xmath435 & \le c\,\|f\|_\infty\ , |z_1-z_2|^\varepsilon \ , \int_{2\,|z_1-z_2|}^d \frac{dr}{r } \\*[7pt ] & = c\ , \|f\|_\infty\ , |z_1-z_2|^\varepsilon \,\log{\frac{d}{2\,|z_1-z_2|}}\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] which completes the proof of theorem 1 . for each @xmath436 consider the cauchy integral of the function @xmath437 on @xmath438 , that is
, @xmath439 for @xmath440 let @xmath441 be the non - tangential limit of @xmath442 from @xmath1 , that is , the limit of @xmath443 as @xmath444 tends to @xmath445 non - tangentially
. similarly , denote by @xmath446 the non - tangential limit of @xmath442 from @xmath447 .
these limits exist a.e .
on @xmath438 with respect to arc - length and one has the plemelj formula ( e.g. @xcite ) @xmath448 indeed , it can be shown that @xmath442 is of class @xmath16 in @xmath1 and in @xmath449 , so that the above limits exist everywhere on @xmath438 and without the non - tangential approach restriction .
we do not need , however , such fact . applying the green - stokes theorem to the form @xmath450 and the domain @xmath451
, we get @xmath452 which by the residue theorem is @xmath453 a straightforward computation of the residues yields @xmath454 \left.+\sum^n_{\ell=0}(-1)^{n-\ell}\frac{(n-\ell+1)}{\ell ! } \frac{d^\ell}{d\zeta^\ell}h_{\zeta}(\zeta)\frac{1}{(\zeta - z)^{n+2-\ell}}. \right\}.\end{gathered}\ ] ] in the expression above for the kernel @xmath420 one may divine the presence of non - obvious cancellation properties ( consider the case @xmath455 ) .
the strategy to unravel them is to bring into the scene the function @xmath456 and express @xmath420 in terms of @xmath34 and its derivatives .
taylor s expansions of @xmath34 and its derivatives will then help in understanding cancellations .
the derivatives of @xmath34 are given by @xmath457 on the other hand , by the binomial formula , @xmath458 & = \sum^n_{\ell=0}\binom{n}{\ell } ( \overline{z-\zeta})^{\ell } \int_{\partial\omega } \frac{(\overline{t - z})^{n-\ell}}{t - z}\,dt\\*[5pt ] & = \sum^n_{\ell=0}\frac{(-1)^\ell}{\ell ! } \frac{\partial^{\ell}h}{\partial \overline{z}^\ell}(z ) ( \overline{z-\zeta})^{\ell}. \end{split}\ ] ] differentiating the preceding identity with respect to @xmath459 @xmath460 therefore @xmath461 & \quad-(n+1)\sum^n_{\ell=0}\frac{(-1)^{\ell}}{\ell ! } \frac{\partial^{\ell}h}{\partial \overline{z}^{\ell}}(z ) ( \overline{z-\zeta})^{\ell}\\*[5pt ] & \quad+ \sum^n_{\ell=0}\frac{(n+1-\ell)}{\ell ! } \frac{\partial^{\ell}h(\zeta)}{\partial \zeta^\ell}(z-\zeta)^{\ell}. \end{split}\ ] ] in each of the terms of the last sum it will be convenient to write a taylor expansion of @xmath462 up to order @xmath463 around the point @xmath459 . doing so we obtain @xmath464 & \quad + ( n+1)\sum^n_{\ell=0}\frac{1}{\ell ! } \frac{\partial^{\ell}h}{\partial \overline{z}^{\ell } } ( z ) ( \overline{\zeta - z})^{\ell}\\*[5pt ] & \quad-\sum^n_{\ell=0 } \frac{n+1-\ell}{\ell!}\\*[5pt ] & \qquad\times \sum^{n-\ell}_{j=0}\sum^{j}_{k=0 } \frac{(-1)^{\ell}}{k!\,(j - k ) ! } \frac{\partial^{\ell+k}}{\partial z^{\ell+k } } \frac{\partial^{j - k}}{\partial \overline{z}^{j - k}}h(z)(\zeta - z)^{k+\ell}(\overline{\zeta - z})^{j - k}\\*[5pt ] & \quad+ r(z,\zeta)\equiv s(z,\zeta)+r(z,\zeta ) .
\end{split}\ ] ] a cumbersome but easy computation shows now that @xmath465 the most direct way to ascertain this is to check that the coefficient of @xmath466 in the monomial @xmath467 vanishes for all non - negative exponents @xmath468 and @xmath469 for this we distinguish four cases .
_ case 1 : _ assume that @xmath470 only in the third sum may appear terms of this type and they must cancel out by themselves .
this can be shown using the identities @xmath471 _ case 2 : _
take @xmath472 and @xmath473 two terms appear in the third sum and one in the third , and they cancel .
_ case 3 : _ take @xmath472 and @xmath474 there is only one term of this type , which corresponds to letting @xmath475 in the first sum . to show that this term vanishes we resort to for @xmath476 and @xmath477 and then we apply cauchy s theorem .
_ case 4 : _ take @xmath478 and @xmath479 one term in the second sum cancels with a term in the third sum .
we turn now to the analysis of the kernel @xmath480 since @xmath466 vanishes identically we get @xmath481 where @xmath482 is the remainder of the taylor expansion of @xmath462 up to order @xmath463 around the point @xmath459 . a key fact in the present proof
is that the remainder @xmath482 is @xmath483 , because the @xmath119-th order derivatives of @xmath484 are in @xmath485 . to show this we resort to to get @xmath486 if @xmath487 , then the above expression is @xmath488 if @xmath489 , then we obtain , by green - stokes and for some constant @xmath490 , @xmath491 which is in @xmath492 owing to the main lemma . here
@xmath493 is the @xmath494-th iteration of the beurling transform .
part ( i ) of the lemma is a straightforward consequence of and the size estimate on the remainder @xmath482 we have just proved .
we are left with part ( ii ) .
take points @xmath495 and @xmath496 in @xmath1 with @xmath497 from we obtain @xmath498 add and subtract @xmath499 in the numerator of the second fraction above to get @xmath500 where @xmath501 and @xmath502 controlling @xmath282 is easy via an obvious gradient estimate , which yields @xmath503 & = c\,\frac{|z_1-z_2|}{|z_1-\zeta|^{3-\varepsilon } } \\*[7pt ] & \le c\ , \frac{|z_1-z_2|^\varepsilon}{|z_1-\zeta|^2}\ , .
\end{split}\ ] ] to estimate the term @xmath290 we need a sublemma .
[ sublema ] we have the identity @xmath504 since @xmath505 is in @xmath4 for each non - negative number @xmath506 , the sublemma immediately provides the right control on the term @xmath507 namely , @xmath508 and this completes the proof of lemma 6 .
the most convenient way of proving the sublemma is to place ourselves in a real variables context . given a smooth function @xmath3 on @xmath509 let @xmath510 be its taylor polynomial of degree @xmath506 around the point @xmath511 then , clearly , @xmath512 and so the sublemma is an easy consequence of the fact that each @xmath119-th order derivative of @xmath34 is a constant times @xmath513 , for an appropriate exponent @xmath506 , and the following elementary calculus lemma .
[ calculus ] if @xmath3 is a @xmath506 times continuously differentiable function on @xmath509 , then @xmath514 let @xmath515 stand for the polynomial @xmath516 so that @xmath517 a straightforward computation yields @xmath518 which completes the proof of lemma 7 .
in the precedings sections we have proved that @xmath106 is a lipschitz function on @xmath519 . moreover
@xmath520 and so , by the main lemma , @xmath521 since @xmath106 is holomorphic on @xmath522 , @xmath523 extends continuosly to @xmath451 , but nothing excludes that this extension might vanish somewhere on @xmath438 .
the functions @xmath524 and @xmath525 also extend continuously from @xmath1 to @xmath526 , but again it could well happen that both vanish at some point of @xmath438 .
we will show now that this is not possible .
indeed , we claim that for some positive number @xmath527 we have @xmath528 this implies that the jacobian of @xmath106 is bounded from below by @xmath529 at @xmath459 almost all points of @xmath519 .
thus the invers mapping @xmath530 has gradient in @xmath531 and hence @xmath106 is bilipschitz . for @xmath532 denote by @xmath533 the limit of @xmath534 as @xmath535 tends to @xmath536 .
we claim that follows if we can show that @xmath537 indeed , this clearly implies @xmath538
. now denote by @xmath539 and @xmath540 , @xmath541 , the limits of @xmath542 and @xmath543 as @xmath544 tends to @xmath536 .
take a parametrization @xmath545 of @xmath438 of class @xmath158 , such that @xmath546 for all @xmath322 .
computing @xmath547 in two different ways , @xmath548 and so @xmath549 thus , by , @xmath550 , @xmath532 , which yields @xmath551 .
we turn now to the proof of .
assume that @xmath552 .
performing a rotation before applying @xmath106 we may assume that @xmath553 is a non - negative real number ( @xmath554 is the limit of @xmath555 as @xmath544 tends to @xmath139 ) .
performing a rotation after applying @xmath106 we may also assume that the tangent plane to @xmath438 at the origin is the real axis .
denote by @xmath556 and @xmath557 the upper and lower half planes , respectively .
consider the continuous piecewise linear mapping @xmath558 then , by ( * ? ? ?
* ( 5.6 ) , p. 83 ) , the beltrami coeficient @xmath559 of the mapping @xmath560 is @xmath561 since @xmath562 vanishes on @xmath563 , @xmath564 & \quad + \int_{h^-\cap l^{-1}(\omega^c)\cap b(0,r_{0 } ) } \dotsi\\*[7pt ] & \quad -\int_{h^-\cap l^{-1}(\omega)\cap b(0,r_{0 } ) } \dotsi\\*[7pt ] & = i+ii+iii , \end{split}\ ] ] where @xmath565 is the small number introduced in the proof of the main lemma ( see figure 1 ) . by , @xmath566 since @xmath567 on @xmath556 , making the change of variables @xmath568 gives @xmath569 where in the next to the last inequality we used .
for @xmath290 we begin by remarking that @xmath570 and making the change of variables @xmath571 , we get @xmath572 which can be shown to be finite as before ( in particular , using again ) . to take care of @xmath304
we make the same change of variables and we obtain @xmath573 & \le \frac{1}{1-\lambda } \int_{h^-\cap l^{-1}(\omega)\cap b(0,r_{0 } ) } \frac{|\mu ( l(w))-\mu(0)|}{|w|^2}\,da(w)\\*[7pt ] & \le \frac{1+\lambda}{(1-\lambda)^2 } \int_{h^-\cap \omega\cap b(0,r_{0 } ) } \frac{|\mu ( z ) -\mu(0)|}{|z|^2}\,da(z)\\*[7pt ] & \le c\int_{b(0,r_{0})}\frac{da(z)}{|z|^{2-\varepsilon}}<\infty . \end{split}\ ] ] therefore @xmath574 and so , by @xcite , @xmath575 is conformal at the origin , in the sense that the limit @xmath576 exists and @xmath577 . the part of the imaginary positive axis close to the origin is included in @xmath522 ( see figure 1 ) , and thus @xmath578 if @xmath579 is small .
hence @xmath580 & = \lim_{0<y\to 0}\frac{h(l^{-1}(iy))-h(0)}{iy}\\*[7pt ] & = \frac{h'(0)}{(1-\lambda)}. \end{split}\ ] ] this completes the proof of .
suppose , as in the statement of the theorem , that @xmath581 ... ,@xmath582 are bounded disjoint domains with boundary of class @xmath2 , for some @xmath116 with @xmath20 , and that @xmath583 where @xmath22 is of class @xmath46 and @xmath584 let @xmath585 be the quasiconformal mapping associated with @xmath586 assume that @xmath587 and set @xmath588 and @xmath589 by ( * ? ? ?
* ( 10 ) p. 9 ) , @xmath590 where @xmath591 and , for each @xmath592 the point @xmath459 is defined by @xmath593 in particular , @xmath27 is supported on @xmath594 recall from the previous section that @xmath595 is bilipschitz , of class @xmath596 on @xmath597 and @xmath598 and conformal on @xmath599 in particular , @xmath595 is holomorphic on @xmath600 and @xmath601 thus the bounded domains @xmath602 have boundaries of class @xmath603 on the other hand , the function @xmath27 satisfies a lipschitz condition of order @xmath604 for @xmath605 in each domain @xmath606 proceeding by induction we conclude now that @xmath585 is bilipschitz and of class @xmath607 in each domain @xmath608 one can prove now corollary 2 .
let @xmath31 be a bounded planar domain and let @xmath3 be a function in @xmath32 satisfying the beltrami equation @xmath609 where @xmath8 is as in the statement of the theorem . by stoilow s factorization theorem , @xmath610 where @xmath11 is the quasiconformal mapping associated with @xmath8 and @xmath34 is a holomorphic function on @xmath611 let @xmath49 stand for the set of points in @xmath31 whose distance to the boundary of @xmath31 is larger than @xmath612 thus @xmath34 has bounded derivatives of all orders on @xmath613 and consequently @xmath3 is as smooth as @xmath11 on @xmath614 hence @xmath3 is lipschitz on @xmath49 and of class @xmath607 in each open set @xmath615 if @xmath31 contains the closure of each @xmath616 then @xmath3 is of class @xmath607 on each @xmath617 recalling the relation between the beltrami equation and second order elliptic equations in divergence form , as explained in the introduction , corollary 2 follows immediately from the above argument .
as we remarked in the introduction , the conclusion of the theorem fails for domains with corners ; for instance , for a square .
however , the class of domains with boundary of class @xmath2 is not optimal for the theorem .
there is a heuristic argument that points out at a more general class of domains , which , at least in a first approximation , may be viewed as optimal .
first of all we recall that a central point in the proof of the theorem was the fact , which is part of the main lemma , that each power of the beurling transform sends the characteristic function of the domain into a bounded function .
let us concentrate on the beurling transform @xmath69 and find a simple condition on a bounded domain @xmath1 with rectifiable boundary so that @xmath618 is bounded .
our first remark is that @xmath618 can be written as the cauchy transform of a boundary measure . for this
we use , on one hand , the basic property of @xmath619 @xmath620 which holds for all compactly supported smooth functions @xmath166 and extends to a variety of situations by regularization .
on the other hand , we use the elementary identity @xmath621 which holds at least for bounded domains with rectifiable boundary . combining the above two identities
we get @xmath622 which yields @xmath623 now , @xmath624 @xmath625 being the unit tangent vector to @xmath438 at @xmath626 assume now that the arc - length measure on the boundary of @xmath1 satisfies the ahlfors condition @xmath627 for each @xmath628 and @xmath629 where @xmath630 stands for the open disc with center @xmath459 and radius @xmath631 then a simple estimate shows that the cauchy integral of a function @xmath3 on @xmath632 that is , @xmath633 is bounded provided @xmath3 satisfies a lipschitz condition of some positive order on @xmath634 thehefore , to get boundedness of @xmath618 one has to require that the square of the tangent unit vector satisfies a lipschitz condition of some positive order on @xmath634 this is weaker than requiring the lipschitz condition on the tangent unit vector itself , because it allows jumps of @xmath635 degrees on the argument of the tangent unit vector .
in other words , cusps are allowed .
we want now to define formally _ cuspidal domains of class _ @xmath76 given a planar domain @xmath1 we say that @xmath438 is @xmath2-smooth at a boundary point @xmath636 if there is a positive @xmath185 such that @xmath637 is , after possibly a rotation , the part of @xmath638 lying below the graph of a function of class @xmath76 we say that @xmath1 has an _ interior cusp of class _ @xmath2 at @xmath639 provided there is a positive @xmath185 and functions @xmath640 @xmath641 of class @xmath2 on the interval @xmath642 such that @xmath643 , and , after possibly a rotation , a point @xmath644 is in @xmath637 if and only if @xmath645 and @xmath646 we say that @xmath1 has an _ exterior cusp of class _ @xmath2 at @xmath647 provided @xmath648 has an interior cusp of class @xmath2 at @xmath649 a planar domain @xmath1 is a _ cuspidal domain of class _ @xmath2 if @xmath438 is @xmath2-smooth at all boundary points , except possibly at finitely many boundary points where @xmath1 has a cusp of class @xmath2 ( either interior or exterior ) . the simplest examples of non - smooth cuspidal domains are the drop like domain @xmath31 and the peach like domain @xmath423 shown in figure 5 below .
the reader may easily imagine more complicated cuspidal domains with lots of cusps of both types ( see figure 7 ) . + figure 5 with appropriate formulations the theorem and corollaries 1 and 2 hold true for cuspidal domains of class @xmath76 the right statements involve the notion of geodesic distance in the domain @xmath1 , which we discuss now . given two points @xmath459 and @xmath445 in @xmath1 their geodesic distance is defined by @xmath650 where the infimum is taken over all rectifiable curves @xmath651 in @xmath1 joining @xmath459 and @xmath652 here @xmath653 stands for the length of @xmath654 notice that if @xmath1 has only interior cusps , then the geodesic and the euclidean distances are comparable and that this is not the case in the proximity of an exterior cusp .
the lipschitz norm @xmath655 of order @xmath87 and the corresponding lipschitz spaces @xmath656 with respect to the distance @xmath380 are defined is the usual way , with the euclidean distance replaced by @xmath380 in and .
the theorem for cuspidal domains reads as follows .
let @xmath18 , @xmath19 , be a finite family of disjoint bounded cuspidal domains of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 , and let @xmath583 where @xmath22 is of class @xmath657 assume in addition that @xmath10 .
then the associated quasiconformal mapping @xmath11 is bilipschitz .
corollary 1 remains true without any change .
[ c1 ] if @xmath1 is a bounded cuspidal domain of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 , and @xmath26 , where @xmath27 is a complex number such that @xmath28 , then the associated quasiconformal mapping @xmath11 is bilipschitz .
[ c2 ] let @xmath24 , @xmath19 , be a finite family of disjoint bounded cuspidal domains of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 , and assume that all domains @xmath24 are contained in a bounded domain @xmath31 with boundary of class @xmath2 .
let @xmath44 a @xmath40 symmetric elliptic matrix with determinant @xmath6 and entries supported in @xmath658 and belonging to @xmath659 @xmath660 let @xmath42 be a solution of equation in @xmath48 let @xmath49 stand for the set of points in @xmath31 at distance greater than @xmath50 from the boundary of @xmath48 then @xmath661 for @xmath662 and @xmath47 in particular , @xmath663 and @xmath42 is a locally lipschitz function in @xmath48 we proceed now to sketch the proof of theorem. the modifications needed are minor and fortunately one can reduce without much pain the cuspidal case to the smooth case .
we start by discussing the proof in the one domain case ( @xmath664 ) .
the difficulty is that the main lemma does not hold for cuspidal domains with exterior cusps and the usual euclidean lipschitz spaces .
we present an example to make the difficulty clear .
let @xmath1 be the open disc centered at the origin of radius @xmath14 minus the union of the closed discs of radius @xmath6 centered at @xmath6 and @xmath665 thus @xmath1 has an exterior cusp at the origin .
we claim that @xmath618 does not satisfy a lipschitz condition on @xmath1 of any order @xmath87 such that @xmath666 the point is that we can explicitly calculate @xmath667 if @xmath668 stands for the open disc centered at @xmath536 of radius @xmath669 then a simple argument ( see , for example , @xcite ) shows that @xmath670 thus @xmath671 set @xmath672 and @xmath673 , where @xmath214 and @xmath257 are positive real numbers such that @xmath674 and @xmath675 are in @xmath1 .
then @xmath676 on the other hand , a simple computation yields @xmath677 as @xmath214 and @xmath257 tend to @xmath678 choosing @xmath679 we conclude that @xmath618 does not satisfy a lipschitz condition on @xmath1 of any order @xmath87 with @xmath680 the main lemma for cuspidal domains reads as follows .
let @xmath1 be a bounded cuspidal domain of class @xmath2 , @xmath20 , and let @xmath73 be an even smooth homogeneous caldern - zygmund operator .
then @xmath73 maps @xmath656 into itself , and @xmath73 also maps @xmath656 into @xmath681 . in fact , one has the inequalities @xmath682 and @xmath683 where @xmath134 is a constant depending only on @xmath116 and @xmath1 .
we first prove that @xmath684 for each @xmath685 take a point @xmath686 clearly we may assume that @xmath687 where @xmath636 is a cuspidal point and @xmath185 is as in the definition of cusp .
otherwise @xmath459 is far from all cusps and thus we may apply the arguments of the smooth case . since there are only finitely many cusps we may also assume that there is a positive number @xmath185 which works in the definition of cusp simultaneously for all cusps .
clearly @xmath688 and the second term is bounded by @xmath689 where @xmath380 stands for the diameter of @xmath690 we are therefore left with the first term .
assume for the moment that @xmath1 has an interior cusp at @xmath649 we connect the cercle of center @xmath636 and radius @xmath691 with the concentric cercle of radius @xmath185 to produce domains @xmath692 and @xmath693 with boundary of class @xmath694 as shown in figure 6 .
+ figure 6 notice that three other residual " domains @xmath695 @xmath696 have been formed .
the domains @xmath697 are not smooth but they are far from @xmath698 since we are assuming that @xmath1 has an interior cusp at @xmath699 the restriction of @xmath3 to @xmath700 satisfies an euclidean lipschitz condition of order @xmath701 by the well known extension theorem for lipschitz functions ( ( * ? ? ?
* chapter vi ) ) we may extend the restriction of @xmath3 to @xmath700 to a function @xmath702 such that @xmath703 hence @xmath704 and so @xmath705 the last three terms are controlled by @xmath706 where @xmath134 is a constant depending on @xmath707 because the domains of the functions to which @xmath708 is applied are far from @xmath709 by this gives the correct bound @xmath710 to estimate the first three terms we remark that @xmath711 @xmath693 and @xmath638 are domains with boundary of class @xmath712 thus the proof of the main lemma for smooth domains of section 3 yields , by , @xmath713 assume now that @xmath1 has an exterior cusp at @xmath649 then @xmath714 and so @xmath715 the proof of the estimate proceeds as before .
let us turn to prove the lipschitz condition on @xmath344 .
since @xmath344 is bounded , to estimate @xmath716 we may restrict our attention to the case in which @xmath459 and @xmath445 are very close to each other .
we may also assume that @xmath459 and @xmath445 are close to a cusp , say , @xmath717 from this point on the proof is very similar to what we did before , with @xmath708 replaced by @xmath718 the first step is to restrict our attention to @xmath719 which may be achieved by the identity @xmath720 assume first that @xmath1 has an interior cusp at @xmath636 and consider again the extension @xmath367 of @xmath721 satisfying .
we clearly have @xmath722 by the smooth version of the main lemma @xmath723 and @xmath724 satisfy an euclidean lipschitz condition of order @xmath87 on the complement of @xmath725 and @xmath726 respectively .
clearly , again by the smooth main lemma , @xmath727 satisfies an euclidean lipschitz condition of order @xmath87 on @xmath728 finally @xmath729 satisfy an euclidean lipschitz condition of order @xmath87 on @xmath730 because the domains @xmath697 are far from @xmath731 if both @xmath459 and @xmath445 belong to @xmath1 we then get an estimate of the form @xmath732 which completes the proof , because in the case at hand the euclidean distance between @xmath459 and @xmath445 is comparable to their geodesic distance . if @xmath459 and @xmath445 are in @xmath733 then we may assume that @xmath734 and @xmath735 otherwise @xmath459 and @xmath445 belong both to either @xmath692 or @xmath693 and thus we obtain the above euclidean lipschitz estimate of order @xmath87 .
choose then a point @xmath736 such that @xmath737 ( see figure 6 ) . since @xmath723 and @xmath724 satisfy an euclidean lipschitz condition of order @xmath87 on @xmath692 and @xmath693 respectively , and since @xmath344 is continuous on the complement of @xmath738 because @xmath3 is supported on @xmath738 we get @xmath739 if @xmath1 has an exterior cusp at @xmath699 we argue similarly , using the identity @xmath740 the details are left to the reader .
we continue now the proof of theorem in the one domain case .
if the domain has only interior cusps the argument we described to prove the theorem goes through without any change .
the reason is that , since the geodesic distance in @xmath1 is comparable to the euclidean distance sections 4 and 5 hold true , because of the cuspidal version of the main lemma . for section 6 one has to remark that @xmath741 is now only in @xmath742 but that this still implies that @xmath741 extends continuously from @xmath648 to @xmath634 the conformality of @xmath11 on @xmath451 is proved as in section 6 , after remarking that cusps do not create any problem because they are perfectly suited for an appeal to @xcite .
assume now that our domain has exterior cusps .
in figure 7 it is shown how to subdivide @xmath1 in finitely many subdomains @xmath743 , which are cuspidal domains of class @xmath16 _ with only interior cusps_. since @xmath744 @xmath745 is in @xmath746 we can then apply the factorization method of section 7 to get that @xmath747 and @xmath748 @xmath749 + figure 7 the reduction to the one domain case needs only one comment . using the notation of section 7
, we use the fact that @xmath595 is conformal on @xmath750 to ascertain that the image of each @xmath24 under @xmath595 is again a cuspidal domain of class @xmath751 we repeat for emphasis that the conformality of @xmath595 is proved at a cusp appealing , as in section 6 , to @xcite .
very likely the restriction on the determinant of the matrix @xmath41 in corollary 2 and corollary 2 is superfluous .
this would follow if lipschitz regularity results should hold for the general elliptic system @xmath752 where @xmath753 a. e. on @xmath754 it seems also rather clear that the right conclusion in corollary 2 ( and analogously in corollary 2 ) should be that the solution @xmath755 is of class @xmath756 @xmath757 in all dimensions ( and without any restriction on the determinant of @xmath41 ) .
evidence for this conjecture is provided by the fact that it is true in the plane whenever the lipschitz norm of the coefficients of the matrix @xmath41 are small enough .
see the argument for the beltrami equation at the end of section 2 .
we acknowledge some useful correspondence with l. escauriaza and d.faraco on that issue .
apparently it is not known what is the best exponent @xmath319 such that @xmath758 for @xmath759 where @xmath760 is a complex number such that @xmath761 and @xmath29 is a square .
this looks extremely surprising to the authors , who would very much appreciate knowing the precise regularity properties of @xmath585 in the scale of the local sobolev spaces @xmath762 .
this work was partially supported by the grants 2005sgr00774 ( generalitat de catalunya ) and mtm2007 - 60062 ( ministerio de educacin y ciencia ) .
the authors are indebted to stephen semmes for suggesting the proof of and to eero saksman for an encouraging conversation .
a. e. gatto , _ on the boundedness on inhomogeneous lipschitz spaces of fractional integrals , singular integrals and hypersingular integrals associated to non - doubling measures on metric spaces , _ preprint 2007 .
l joan mateu + departament de matemtiques + universitat autnoma de barcelona + 08193 bellaterra , barcelona , catalonia + _ e - mail : _ [email protected] + + joan orobitg + departament de matemtiques + universitat autnoma de barcelona + 08193 bellaterra , barcelona , catalonia + _ e - mail : _ [email protected] + + joan verdera + departament de matemtiques + universitat autnoma de barcelona + 08193 bellaterra , barcelona , catalonia + _ e - mail : _ [email protected] | arxiv |
Andrew Ian Ripley born 10 December 1975 is an English former footballer who played as a winger in the Football League for Darlington.
Ripley came through the youth system at Darlington, and made his first-team debut as a 17-year-old, on 9 October 1993, as a substitute in a 21 defeat at home to Chester City in the Third Division. He made one more substitute appearance in the league, and started in the second round of the Associate Members' Cup, before moving into non-league football, first with Peterlee Newtown. He later spent six seasons with Billingham Synthonia for whom he made nearly 200 appearances in all competitions, of which 148 were made in the Northern League.
References
Category:1975 births
Category:Living people
Category:Footballers from Middlesbrough
Category:English footballers
Category:Association football wingers
Category:Darlington F.C. players
Category:Peterlee Town F.C. players
Category:Billingham Synthonia F.C. players
Category:English Football League players
Category:Northern Football League players | wikipedia |
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Scandal 1. Hellhole
Olivia sat in her room, browsing the Internet blindly and nursing a plastic cup filled to the brim with red wine. "Where the hell is Harrison," she muttered to herself, glancing at the clock. It was already 8:30, and he was supposed to be back by 8 so they could get ready to go to his friend's party. Olivia really didn't want to go. She hated dancing, crowds and teenagers in general. Most kids her age found her to be too sullen and serious, and she found them to be nauseatingly immature. But the party meant a lot to her cousin Harrison, and since she was leaving in 6 days, she had promised to go out and spend their last few days together doing "fun" stuff. She was supposed to attend the small dinner with him and his friends, but bailed at the last minute when she found out her aunt and uncle were going to have a romantic date night, and would be out for dinner and a comedy show. It would be some much welcomed silence and alone time before she had to deal with the crowds of people she'd Inevitably face at the party. As soon as they'd left, she had crept down to the basement to pilfer one of the cajillion bottles of cheap wine her aunt kept in crates in the basement and popped some popcorn.
She had just began writing a text to Harrison when she heard the front door slam through the thin walls.
"...And bitch don't you _EVER_ tell me when I had enough, I'll drink as much as I GODDAMN please!" she heard her uncle's deep, drunken voice sing out.
"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it like that, it's just that you're driving tonight and I..." her aunt replied.
*SLAP*
"Bitch don't worry about mines, mines is WELL taken care of! And why the fuck isnt this living room clean, I know I told that little bitch to have this shit done tonight! Liviaaaa! Livia get your worthless ass down here!" oh god, she mumbled to herself. They were supposed to be gone for at least another hour or two, it hadn't even been a full hour since they'd left. "I should've known it would be a COMPLETE disaster and they wouldn't make it through a whole night out," she muttered to herself. She found her iPod on the night stand and put the small buds in her ear. She was not about to go down there so he could attack her. She hoped he would move on to something else and forget about her, but she knew that wouldn't happen. Her aunt would be up to drag her down to the monster in 5..4..3..2...
The door swung open with a crash and her aunt's statuesque figure stood in the doorway.
"Olivia!"
She looked up and saw her aunt standing there flushed and frustrated, her right cheek clearly red from the brunt of the smack her uncle had freshly laid upon her. "Huh," she said while removing one earphone, feigning ignorance to the ensuing chaos. "Olivia, I need you to come pick up this living room, right now." Olivia sighed, "I was gonna do it in a little bit, I thought you guys wouldn't be home for another few hours, do I really have to go down there with him?" she pleaded. "NOW Olivia, GO," she said storming off. She sighed again.
She both loved and hated her aunt. Before her mother had died, she thought the world of her aunt. She was smart, beautiful, successful and sexy in spite of all her obstacles. She would come take her for fun outings and tell her womanly things that her mother didn't, which included all her crazy dating escapades which seemed hilarious at the time. But now that she had to live with it up close and personally, there was nothing remotely funny about her aunt's dating choices and who she chose to marry. When her mother had died suddenly, she had found a little solace in the fact that at the very least she had an aunt she knew and loved willing to take her in. But boy was she wrong. Many nights she wondered if she would've been better off at a group home. The past 5 years living there had been absolute hell, and instead of protecting her from the flames, her aunt often used her as a shield against the fire for herself.
Olivia took a deep breath and tried to still herself, but her hands wouldn't comply and continued to tremble. She hated this feeling of being afraid and frustrated. She wished she could go to sleep and it would be move in day so she could have hundreds of miles of distance between her and this hellhole.
She slowly made her way out of her room and down the stairs, holding her breath the entire way. Her uncle was sitting on the couch with tv blaring, holding a cup with which she was sure was filled to the brim with cheap vodka and ice cubes.
"I thought I told you to have this living room clean by the time I got home," he said with disdain in his voice.
She tried to think of a reply, but thought better of it, knowing anything she said would just infuriate him regardless. She moved silently to the corner of the room, grabbing the vacuum and plugging it in.
"Bitch I know you hear me talking to you!"
She felt the heat of his glare on her back, but remained silent, turning on the vacuum.
"TURN THAT SHIT OFF AND COME OVER HERE," he bellowed, "NOW!"
Her mind told her not to move, but her feet were following his command, in an attempt to to avoid the worst of his wrath. She stopped directly in front of him, waiting for him to make his next move.
"You really think you some kinda big shot. You prance around here like you the Queen of Sheba or something, don't say shit to nobody, don't make no noise, and think you go unnoticed. But bitch lemme tell you something, I see you, I see EVERYTHING around this motherfucker, and I most definitely see you," he slurred.
She could smell the liquor emanating from his pores, and she noted that his cup was almost empty. He poured himself another.
"You go to your fancy little private school, and you think you so damn smart, and you think you so damn cute. Bitch you ain't cute. And you ain't smart. You ain't shit, you hear me, you ain't SHIT!" he screamed so loud it reverberated through her entire body.
She tried tune him out by playing songs in her head and jumping an imaginary rope. She pictured herself in her childhood backyard, jumping rope and listening to her favorite song. She pictured her mother cooking on the grill and smelled the hamburgers cooking. She could see the brown wooden fence in the distance, and feel the weight of the jumprope in her hands. She could feel the weight of her body suspended in the air momentarily, and the feel of the hard ground that met her feet. She was brought back to reality by the violent splash of alcohol and ice cubes in her face, dripping down her hair and clothes.
Her uncle sprang to his feet, and suddenly his 6'6 frame hovered menacingly over her, "you LISTEN when I'm talking to you goddamn it, you WILL listen to me!" he said in a tone so chilly and calm it shocked her more than the cold liquid.
"You think you something cuz you going to Harvard, but I'm telling you right now you ain't nothing, and you won't ever be. You ain't nothing but a little SLUT," he sneered, "just like your aunt, and probably your damn mama, and that's why your daddy ain't want your ass. You gon be the campus slut, and I bet you be back here within a year, pregnant by some motherfucker who dont want you OR the little bastard. And don't think you can come back here with that shit. We don't want your ass neither. Now unball those fists, unless you wanna fight." He stepped closer. She tried to follow his orders, but again her hands refused to comply. Then he was hoisting her in the air by the front of her t-shirt and they were crashing to the ground.
2. Change
When Olivia came to, Harrison was hovering over her, speaking incomprehensibly. It sounded like she was under water, and her vision was doubled. Her head was throbbing and she could barely think. But she was grateful that he was there, and that he had saved her from the monster. She was being lifted into the air and as she gained some lucidity, she felt herself being laid on her bed. She could hear her aunt rambling in the background, "Oh my GOD Harrison, what the hell did you do? He wasn't gonna hurt her, you didn't have to do that!"
"Mom, I would never want to disrespect you, but believe when I say there is nothing you can say to me right now. Don't you dare attack me for protecting Liv, something you refused to do! I should've wrapped that phone cord around his neck and really handled his ass, you're lucky all I did was beat him senseless. And I dare you to call the police! Let's see how real it gets then." he stated in a fast paced, but even tone, never breaking eye contact with his mother. Her aunt made eye contact with her and left the room silently. Harrison walked over to the bed and sat beside her, "Liv, cuz, are you okay? How's your head feeling? How did you get all wet? What the hell happened?"
Her head was still spinning, but the throbbing was slightly less painful than it was a few minutes ago. "Harrison, I have to get out of here." she stated calmly. "It's just a few more days Liv, please, don't leave like this, where would you even go? I handled it, don't worry about him," he rushed out, trying to convince her. Olivia wasn't just his cousin, she was his best friend in the entire world. He was way more social than she ever wanted to be, but still, they spent the majority of their time with each other. Debating random things, playing chess, stealing wine and experimenting and exploring life together. He would follow her over a cliff. Where she was melancholy and brusque with most people, she was vulnerable and kind with Harrison. She loved the way he never pushed; he could look in her face and tell when to ask questions and when to just leave it alone. But in this moment he was desperate to change her mind. "I can't stay here, with him, Harry," her voice broke off and she choked back more tears. "Give me two hours Liv. You'll need at least that much time to pack. Give me two hours to handle this," he said in a tone that brooked no argument. And handle it he did.
*Flashback*** 5 Years Ago**
She stood in front of her mother's casket and couldn't even find it within herself to cry. One week ago, she was taking her shopping for school clothes, and this week she was dead. She knew her mother was no angel, and although she had her professional life completely together, her personal life was a mess. She was hopelessly attracted to playboys who had no intention of sticking it out for the long run. She went through cycles of elation with the men, where she was on cloud nine and periods of total disarray where at night she would drink and cry herself to sleep when she thought Olivia was knocked out. This fateful night, she had gone out, already drunk, to replenish her stash of her favorite red wine to further drown her sorrows and crashed into a telephone pole, dying on impact. The same drive she had taken countless nights, both drunk and sober, had killed her. And now Olivia was alone, totally and utterly alone. Part of her wanted to break down and cry, but part of her was also angry at her mother.
"How could she be so weak and make such a stupid choice? Why would she abandon me?"
At 12 years old she was old enough to know to know how truly alone she was now without her mom, but too young to gainfully fend for herself. So Aunt Tiffany's it was.
The day of the funeral was like a haze. At the end, all she could remember was the barrage of "I'm Sorrys" that never seemed to end. She felt like her life was over when her mother was taken from her. She stood there stoically for what seemed like forever, until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and it was Aunt Tiffany.
"Livi, baby, it's time to go." Then she was in the car beside her ten year old cousin Harrison in the back seat, listening to Aunt Tiffany tell her the way things would be when she got to her new home. "I know it's been a while since we've all been together Livi, and I'm sorry it couldn't be under better circumstances, but we're family and family sticks together. I think you'll like Ohio, its much different than Pennsylvania, but it has its charm. You've never met my husband Darryl, you can call him Uncle D, you'll just love him."
Soon they were pulling up to the house; it was a medium sized two level subdivision, painted tan and accented blue on the outside. Her Aunt's husband was sitting on the porch, and Olivia could feel his gaze before she could see his eyes. He rose to greet them, leering at Olivia as she approached. "Well aren't you a pretty little thing..." he offered, smirking. She shifted her feet, and felt herself growing uncomfortable beneath his strong gaze. "Nice to meet you sir, uncle." He reached for her hand and it brought it to his lips, "It's nice to meet you too, I'm sorry for your loss, couldn't make it to the funeral. Was too hungover from last night and I didn't know ya mama anyways, so I'm sure no one missed me," he said calmly, still boring her eyes into her. And from that moment she knew she hated him.
The next week went by uneventfully, as Aunt Tiffany worked on getting Olivia into a good private school. Her mother had left suitable funds and a detailed will which provided for Olivia to have an excellent education and living arrangements. Although she was sad and grieving for her mother, she mostly felt numb, and didn't speak unless spoken to first. A week after the funeral, Olivia was sitting in her room and decided to venture down to the den to indulge in some mindless television. She was happy to find the room unoccupied and was flipping through the channels when a shadowy figure appeared in doorway.
"How ya feeling Livi," he asked walking over to the couch she was sitting on. Inside she groaned, she wanted to be alone, and he was the last person she wanted to be alone with. Something about his aura just made her alarms go off, but unfortunately she had to live there, with him. "Fine," she answered, offering no more conversation. Silence followed for a few pregnant moments before he spoke again.
"It seems like you don't really like me Olivia," he said coolly, "every time I speak to you, you never got much to say back."
She hesitated.
Truth be told, his presence made her super uncomfortable, but she couldn't say that, so she took the obvious route. "I'm sorry uncle, I'm just too sad to talk much." With that she stood and quickly exited the room, leaving him alone with the television.
For the rest of the day he didn't try to make conversation with her, and the leers were kept to a bare minimum. She thought she was home free from his creepy antics and decided to retire to bed early that night. She laid in the bed, staring at her ceiling which was filled with glow in the dark stars. She thought about the real stars and wondered if her mother was out there somewhere, some celestial being watching over her. She wondered if there truly was a heaven, and if so, had her mother gotten in? Had she been sent to hell for succumbing to alcohol? The thoughts sent a chill through her body and she turned over to her side to put herself to sleep.
She didn't know how long she had been dreaming, when a very real sensation of a hand on her leg woke her up. She was still trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness when she made out the dark figure on her bed and her heart began to beat wildly in her chest. The hand was on her ankle and slowly stroking up to knee and back down.
"You wake Livia," she heard a voice slur in the darkness and knew it was her aunt's husband.
She tried to scream but her voice was caught in her chest.
3. Escape
Olivia looked at the clock. Thirty seven minutes had passed since she had promised Harrison his two hours. She looked around what had been her room for the last five years and felt no sadness about leaving this place for good. She had had a few good moments here with Harrison, but other than that the place and its things we're tainted. She had already sent most of her clothing and books ahead to Massachusetts since her aunt was sending her on a flight instead of driving her. The more she thought about it, the less she wanted to take any more reminders of this place and her times here. She packed up her laptop and then kneeled beside the bed to pull out her special box of knickknacks which contained pictures of her mom, jewelry she had been left, random pictures of her and Harrison from over the years, overall good memories that she loved revisiting. It saddened her that a box so small contained all the happy moments of her seventeen years, and she wished there was more she could be happy about. She grabbed the rest of her clothes and books, emptying the shelves of her closet. She looked around slowly and decided she didn't care what happened to the rest of it. She turned her gaze back to the clock;fifty six minutes had passed. She sat back on the bed wondering what Harrison had up his sleeve. Whatever it was she knew he would come through for her. She closed her eyes and recalled the very first time he saved her from the monster.
*Flashback Continuation*
"You wake Livia," she heard a voice slur in the darkness and knew it was her aunt's husband.
She tried to scream but her voice was caught in her chest.
His hand crept further, lingering on her knee, and then trailing lightly up her inner thigh into her shorts. She finally willed her body to move, and sat straight up, his hand clenched her thigh, fingernails digging into her skin,
"Relax," he growled, more a threat than a comfort.
When he relaxed his fingers to caress her thigh again she kicked him in the chest with all the might she could muster and used the moment of shock to try to jump out of the bed. She almost succeeded, however her legs were tangled in the blankets and she hit the floor with a loud thud. She tried to crawl away, and felt him grab her ankle,
"I SAID RELAX," he boomed in a loud whisper, dragging her back to the bed. Just then there was a knock at the door.
"Liv, you okay in there?" she heard her cousin's voice ask.
Her aunt's husband looked to the door, and then whipped his head quickly back to her with daggers in his eyes, daring her to answer.
She knew this was her only chance.
"NO!" she yelled in hoarse voice, her heart thumping in her chest. The door swung open and he cut on the light.
"What are you doing?" he demanded looking straight at his step father, walking closer to the bed.
Her uncle plastered a fake jovial smile across his evil face, "Olivia was just having a bad dream, I just came to make sure she was okay, right Liv?" he turned his smile to her, his eyes still heavy with menace, he released her leg.
Olivia was frozen, her body was trembling like a leaf and she couldn't find any more words in her throat. Harrison walked directly in front of her and reached down a hand to help her get up.
"You having a bad dream?" he reached over and grabbed her pillow, "Don't worry, you can sleep with me. I have a nightlight."
Still holding her hand, he led her down the hallway to his room. As she sat on the bed, still shaking, he locked the door,turned on the night light, and threw her pillow on his bed.
"Did he hurt you Liv?"
She couldn't her tears back anymore once she heard those words. She didn't know how to respond. She wasn't even entirely sure what had happened, and she wasn't sure if her younger cousin even understood the weight of what he had just walked in on. As if he could read her thoughts, Harrison put one arm around her shoulder and spoke in an even tone,
"I know he's a monster Olivia. When they first got married, he would get drunk and try to use me for a punching bag, but my dad took care of that. I know you think I'm young and innocent, but I'm not Liv, and I see the way he looks at you. It's not okay. And mom, she just...I don't know Liv, I love her but I dunno. You know, he tried this last summer when cousin Tamra came to stay with us, in the old house in PA. That's why we moved out here. I won't let him hurt you though," he grabbed her hand, "together we can outsmart him. I think I have a plan on how we can handle this, just let me sleep on it, kay?" he looked at her with eyes serious beyond his ten years.
She was both grateful for and astonished at his maturity and intellect. She knew Harrison was smart, ever since he stepped foot in school he was a shining star both socially and academically. He had a natural charm that teachers and students alike adored, and his mother was always bragging about some accolade he was the recipient of for this reason or another. But Harrison also had a wisdom to him, which sometimes got him into mischief that he would undoubtedly talk himself out of, it was his gift. She clutched his hand, as if to say thank you, because she still couldn't find words to speak.
He gave her a knowing smile, and they fell asleep soon after.
Olivia breathed a sigh of relief when she came down for breakfast and found her uncle missing. Her aunt made them both a quick breakfast and told them that her husband was feeling hungover and sick this morning. They gave each other a knowing look. When they were finished, they made their way to the bus stop, and Harrison filled her in on the plan, "So the plan is to never let him know when you're alone. We can alternate rooms, sometimes you can sleep in mines, sometimes you sleep in yours. There's a lock on my door, so that's no problem, but there's not one in your room, so if you want I can sleep with you. We can also slide your bookcase in front of the door to give us a heads up if he's trying to creep in on you. My friend Huck has some nun chucks, I can see if he'd lend us a pair or two. What do you think?" he asked. She smiled at him, "Thanks Harrison, you're the best cousin ever."
He grabbed her hand, "You don't have to thank me Liv, we're in this together."
And from that day forward they were inseparable. They put the plan into action, and it worked for the most part. It infuriated her uncle that he was unable to get her alone and so he converted his perverse desires into hatred, and instead of sneaking into her room at night, he found any reason, real or imagined, to beat her during the day. But she would endure beratings, chokes and beatings over being sexually touched any day.
Olivia heard the door slam downstairs, and hurried footsteps that could only be Harrison's agile movements. She glanced at the clock; twenty four minutes to spare. He opened the door quickly, "You ready to go?" he asked, "It's handled." She followed him downstairs, as he drug her luggage to the minivan. His friend Huck was in the driver's seat, fiddling around with some papers.
"Hey Huck, how's it going?" she asked, sliding into the backseat.
He smiled at her through the rear view mirrors, "I'm okay Olivia, how about you?"
"I'm cool," she retorted in a voice that clearly showed she wasn't.
She was sure she looked a mess, and her clothes reeked of alcohol, but she didn't care, she was just glad to be going. In 6 days she would have a new home. Harrison slid into the passenger's side of the front and began filling her in on the plan, "Liv you know Huck is great with technology and stuff so he was able to make us some fakes that say we're twenty one. We can use these to check into this little failing bed and breakfast on the west side of town for the next few days until your flight leaves. They're hurting for business since the new Days Inn and Best Western opened up downtown, so they won't ask too many questions. I already checked and they have a suite that can accommodate us for the next 5 nights. You got your ATM card right, cuz you're gonna have to tap into that money Aunty left you." Harrison stated calmly, like these were normal teenager activities.
Tenderness welled up in her heart and she almost cried. "What am I gonna do without him?" she wondered. The next few days passed by quickly and uneventfully. They pretended they didn't have a care in the world and enjoyed their last few days together. Before she knew it, they were at the airport, and her flight was being called.
_Flight 201, American Airlines to Boston, now boarding. _
They embraced one last time, both trying not to cry. "Its all good cuz, you know the plan, I'll close by at MIT in two years, and it'll be just the two of us again. Us against the world, Liv," his voice breaking.
"Us against the world," she repeated, "I love you Harry," and with that she boarded her plane.
As she looked out the window, she couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. She was finally leaving it all behind. She had dreamt of this day for so many years, five years to be exact. She was sad only because "all" included Harrison, but she tried to look on the bright side. He would be just fine without her, he was a social butterfly. Two years would fly by and he would be a stone's throw away at MIT.
The flight and travel to campus went by in a daze, and she only awakened truly when she felt the weight of the key to her dorm room in her hand. "This is what _freedom_ feels like," she thought, "this is what _peace_ feels like." She was even happier when she got to her room and realized her roommate hadn't arrived yet. She decided to get her things she had shipped out of storage the next day, she just wanted to enjoy this moment for now. She laid on her new bed and breathed a sigh of relief. Closing her eyes, she felt a weight lift off of her shoulders. She didn't have to plot, or plan or scheme where she would sleep tonight. She didn't have to worry about hands fumbling in her pants in the darkness. She could rest. She fell into a peaceful sleep and wondered what the future at Harvard held in store for her.
4. Awkward
Olivia was drenched and annoyed beyond belief. She could feel herself scowling as she made her way up the stairs to her third floor room. When she had first awoken, the sun was shining brightly and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. She had overslept by thirty minutes, so she didn't bother checking the weather. She only had one, two hour class today, and so she dressed for the warm October weather. Big mistake. Not even twenty minutes into her law and society class, the wispy clouds that had floated lazily through the sky were replaced with ominous gray tufts. She tried to tell herself that it would pass, but at 3:50 when class was dismissed, the downpour had not cleared up one bit. She spent thirty minutes trying to wait out the storm, but it only seemed to rain heavier, as if to spite her. She ran across campus, blinded by droplets the size of slugs, cursing the rain the entire way.
"I _JUST_ straightened my hair last night," she growled to no one in particular.
She complained to herself the entire way up the stairs, engrossed in her own thoughts as she walked down her corridor, until she spotted someone hovering in front of her door. He was scribbling furiously on the dry erase board outside of their door. She slowed her gait as she tried to place him in her memory, but she couldn't, so she assumed he was there to see her roommate Abby.
He was perfecting the last of his message, when he felt someone's gaze upon him. He had written and erased his message three or four times, in an effort to come across as cool and mysterious.
_It's not even that serious, just keep it simple_, he tried to convince himself.
He looked up as she was slowly making her way down the hall, she was soaked to the core and wearing a serious frown. She stopped a few feet away from him and looked at him curiously, "Were you looking for Abby?"
She still wasn't smiling. He couldn't help but smirk at how cute she looked all drenched and pissed. Even the rain couldn't impinge upon her beauty, and that was exactly why he was here. Up close he was almost in awe of her features, and wanted nothing more than to get lost in those beautiful brown eyes. "No, I was actually leaving a message for you," he managed to get out, finding his voice.
"For me?" She raised one eyebrow. "Do I know you from someplace?"
He reached out a hand, "Not yet, but hopefully soon." He tried to give her a friendly smile, "My name is Edison, it's nice to officially meet you Olivia."
"Ummm, who are you?" She came closer to look at the message he had left on her door to get more clarity.
_Hi Olivia. You're beautiful. Let's do lunch sometime. -Edison, 214_
She felt herself blushing. She looked back at him and took him in, he was bold, this one. If he knew anything about her, which he clearly didn't, he would know a message like that would be promptly erased and forgotten. Olivia wasn't interested in dating, and she definitely wasn't interested in knocking on strange men's doors to find the author of some anonymous love note. She had to admit though, she was kind of flattered. Quickly assessing the situation, she decided that if he lived on the second floor that meant he definitely wasn't a freshman, since the second floor had the biggest rooms. She also knew that the 14 series of rooms were singles, which no freshmen were privy to occupying. She looked at him again, chewing her lip thoughtfully and looking around, wondering if this was some kind of set up.
"How do you know my name and where I live?" she asked him nervously.
He smiled to himself again, she wasn't gonna make this easy, but truth be told, he liked that. He leaned casually against the wall, "Well I live in the building, and I have a friend over in 314, so I've seen you around. Plus there aren't that many of "us" on campus, if you catch my drift, so it wasn't too hard to find out."
"Oh," was all she said.
A few moments of silence lulled between them.
"Soooo," he offered, breaking the awkward silence, " I wasn't really expecting you to creep up on me while I was writing this, so this is kinda awkward. But er, have you eaten dinner yet?" he asked hopefully.
"No, it's not even five yet, dhall is still closed."
"Well we should go together," he retorted telling her more than asking.
She started to fumble for an excuse, "Ummmmm, I have a lot of work to do tonight and I wasn't-"
"Oh come ON Olivia, you gotta eat right? I don't bite." He wouldnt give up so easily he told himself, she had to be worth it.
"It's not that, I just wasn't planning to -"
"Wow, am I THAT ugly?" he said with a smirk.
"Nooo, it's not that," she said finally laughing and relaxing a little. She began again, "I don't mean to be rude. I'm just not very good at this whole making friends thing. But yeah, sure, we can go together. What time did you want to go?"
His smirk turned into a bright smile and he looked pleased with himself. "I'll leave that to you, just come knock on my door when you're ready," he said, already walking away.
_I definitely have to have her_, he thought to himself.
Olivia watched him walk down the hallway as she swiped her card into her room. "What am I getting myself into?" she wondered aloud to herself. She opened her bookbag to assess the damage her sprint across campus in the rain had caused, and groaned loudly when she saw how thoroughly drenched her law book pages were. She set her wet items out on the windowsill to dry, and collected her things to take take a quick shower before dinner. She thought about her encounter with Edison in the hallway and realized that it was her first time in her two months on campus having dinner with anyone outside of her roommate Abby and a couple of group mates from a class project. "Wow, I'm such a loser," she laughed to herself.
But the more she thought about it, she had always been a loner. She hated being in large groups, and even in small groups found herself holding back from conversation, more an observer than an engager. She found that she learned much more about people from watching them talk with others than in talking to them one on one. The flip side of that was that she often made snap judgements on people based on those observations, usually of a negative nature, and so she felt little desire to engage them further. She hated small talk, and deemed most unworthy of intellectual conversation, so she didn't spend time getting to know them. For that reason, other than Harrison, she'd had no real friends in Ohio.
She hung out with some people to get out of the house, but she felt no real connection with them, and knew in her heart that didn't really know who she was as a person. Although she had hoped to break that habit at Harvard, she found herself falling into the same pattern of isolation. It was easy to get lost in the books and assignments, and hard to open herself up to human interaction. She decided that today would be the day she would take the first step, and try to get to know someone without convincing herself that they were untrustworthy before she knew much about them.
_He seems like a nice enough guy, and he's kind of handsome, I guess, _she tried to coax herself.
She got out of the shower and dressed quickly, hoping that today would be the day she transformed from an awkward caterpillar to a social butterfly.
"Here goes hoping," she mumbled to herself, closing her dormitory room door behind her.
5. Kissed
**Author's Note: sorry y'all, I'm new to this so I'm still figuring things out. This chapter is kinda long. Just wanted to say, Fitz will be introduced next chapter! Due out this week, think it'll be called Christmas.**
Edison sat his desk, switching his attention between Facebook on his laptop and texting on his phone. He knew he should be getting some studying or homework done, but he was anxiously waiting on Olivia. He kept turning their encounter in front of her door over in his mind, hoping that he had made a good impression on her. He couldn't tell if she had agreed to dinner with him because she thought he was cool, or if she was just patronizing him to get him to go away. Somehow, she managed to be even more of an enigma up close than from afar.
He had first taken notice of her the second day of move in week: just as his parents were pulling up in the parking lot, there she was in front of the dorm directing movers up to her room. She looked so natural and self-assured giving commands and orders that he couldn't take his eyes off of her and had wondered long after who she could possibly be. He had not been able to help but notice that she wasn't accompanied by anyone who appeared to be family members or friends, and that intrigued him as well.
Since that day, he had seen her pretty regularly and even from across a room, he could feel her presence. She carried herself regally, and seemed to always be alone. He happened to be pledging his family's fraternity this year, and one of the guys' favorite activities was "frosh picking," which essentially boiled down to trolling the student center and watching the freshman social activities from the balcony, betting which girls looked like most open to a "good time." He had noticed her then, too.
Where most freshmen were anxious to make friends and clique up, she always seemed to be disconnected and disinterested, clearly only participating because it was a requirement for all of the incoming students. Even at the dhall, where most of the loner students sat at the single-seat bar with their faces down, scarfing their food as quickly as humanly possible so as to avoid the awkwardness of eating alone, she would sit at a table all by herself. Often he would come in and see her at some corner booth, her books spread haplessly across the table, eating lazily and doing work as if no one else existed.
He was beyond intrigued; for the first time ever, a girl made him nervous. He had grown up in a family of means and legacy, so he'd always had a quiet confidence and charm that girls seemed drawn to and impressed by, but Olivia seemed to be wholly unaffected by his presence. That would have to change.
_What do I have to do to get you Olivia Pope?_ He wondered to himself, looking at the clock: **6:03**, over an hour since they'd agreed to eat together in her corridor. He hoped that he hadn't made a mistake by allowing her to come 'whenever,' what if she never came? He decided right then that if she didn't come by 6:30, he'd go knock on her door. His dad did always say that persistence was the key to success.
A couple minutes later there was a knock on his door, and a wide grin spread across his face. His nervousness had been for nought; his Davis charm had never failed him before and he doubted that it would now. Edison opened the door and Olivia gave him a smile that bolstered his confidence.
"You ready?" she asked in a tone much happier than she had given him upstairs.
"Sure," he fired back, "did you wanna come in for a sec? See my room?" he asked hopefully.
"Er, no thanks," she stepped back quickly, as if she were afraid he'd pull her in against her will. "I can wait in the lounge if you need a minute," she offered.
"No worries, we can go now," he replied sheepishly, closing the door behind himself.
As they made their way across campus to the dining hall, Edison found himself rambling incessantly to keep the conversation going. It was alien to him because he was used to letting girls talk and playing it cool, but he could tell that if he didn't fill the voids Olivia would be content to walk in silence. He was super anxious to know more about her, even just simple things like where she was from, what she liked to do, what her family was like. She kept him hooked by giving him just enough to keep the conversation going, but not much more.
As they entered the dining hall, he followed close behind her to browse the different stands and their offerings before taking a seat at a small table near a window. They continued to make small talk, her mostly listening, as he told her about some of the politics of campus and the various student initiatives that he was involved in.
"So yeah, my frat has actually been very involved with working on a lot of the changes they're undergoing to make d-hall more profitable and environmentally friendly. There's still a lot more work to be done, but there's _so_ much bureaucratic bullshit and red tape to cut through. It's irritating."
Olivia thought it was cool that he was involved on campus and used that as a way to further the conversation, "That sounds amazing, which fraternity are you in?"
"Beta sigma. We basically run the on campus apartments," he bragged. "Have you been down there?"
"No, not yet. But if that's the case, why do you live in the dorm then?" she inquired.
He chuckled, "Well I'm actually still pledging, I'm not officially in yet. But the guys love me so I pretty much live down there on the weekends. I'm a legacy too- my great grandfather, my grandpop and my dad, so it's pretty much a given. I just couldn't pledge last year because I did the Freshmen-in-London program and when I got back it was too late to join the line. A few guys that I know who are also legacies decided to get together and block off the singles in Tower, so that's how I ended up there. You should really come over tomorrow, we're having a little kickback. There'll be some beer and wine, if you're into that kinda thing. There will also be good conversation, lots of philosophy and law majors, if you're into that kinda thing as well. How about it?" he asked.
"Ummm," she started to hesitate, "I'm not sure yet, I have lots of stuff to do. Maybe if I have time -"
"Oh come _ONNNN,_ Olivia, are you gonna make me beg you, again?" he pleaded with a sheepish smile. "I see you all the time and you're _always_ by yourself: at the dhall, the library, in the lounge...and you _ALWAYS_ seem to be studying. I hate to break it to you, but if you're not caught up by now, with all the studying you're doing, one more night's not really gonna help!" he put forth laughing.
She couldn't help but laugh too; he was right, she actually didn't have that much to do since midterms were last week, and she had promised herself she would stop being such a hermit.
He could see her warming up to him, and he used that opening to persuade her, "It's just a small get together, Olivia, no biggie. If you don't like the scene, you can always leave. I won't hold you hostage, I promise," he offered with a friendly smile.
"You're right, one night won't hurt. I'm just so used to hanging by myself, or with my cousin...it's been a little harder to adjust to the social scene here than I thought it would be. I'm a little socially inept," she apologized, laughing, "but thanks for the invite, I'll totally come by."
* * *
Olivia ended up having an awesome time at the kickback, and found the guys to be nothing like the fraternity caricatures she'd seen in movies. From that day forward, Olivia and Edison were fast friends, with her quickly becoming a regular at the frat house. All of the brothers made her feel completely comfortable and she immensely enjoyed that they were constantly hosting informal religious, intellectual, and philosophical debates, usually over some type of spirits.
She consistently found herself amazed at the depths of their knowledge. Although only four guys officially lived in the house, Tom, Derrick, Evan and Alex, there was never less than six brothers in the house, and they all took an immediate liking to Olivia. At first she stayed out of their debates, feeling nervous to challenge the upper classmen, but during a heated discussion about No Child Left Behind, she couldn't help but jump in, and never missed a good debating opportunity afterwards.
She enjoyed debating with all the bros, but especially Alex; he was bordering on brilliant, humorous and just had an air about him that commanded everyone's full attention. He never felt the need to raise his voice to make a point, and never let anything visibly ruffle his feathers, which Olivia genuinely admired about him. Not to mention he was beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful. His skin looked like polished bronze, and all his facial features had an angelic symmetry, from his eyebrows down to his chin. His eyes were deep and dark, but in the sun sometimes it appeared as if there were golden flecks embedded within them. Sometimes she wished it had been him she had met first instead of Edison, but would immediately she feel bad afterwards for thinking that way, especially since Alex had a girlfriend.
Her name was Margaret and she was also a fixture at the house. She reminded Olivia of Gretchen from _Recess_ with her long red hair and big black glasses, but she was pretty in her own way, and smart beyond belief. Whatever topic everyone was debating, Margaret was always offering up interesting tidbits and little known facts, and it was well known that she had a deep command of education law, which was a constant topic at the house. The couple worked well as a team, and they seemed really happy together, which Olivia hated to admit she kind of envied.
It didn't matter either way though, because Olivia was dead set on not dating, something she had spent the entire semester trying to explain to Edison. He was a good friend, but she didn't see much more between the two of them. But even knowing this, he was persistent in his pursuit of her up until a few weeks ago.
She scanned the room and found Edison in the corner dancing and necking a tall blonde freshman. She wasn't sure what had changed, but he suddenly began backing off and flirting with other girls right in front of her. For the past three weekends he'd been coupled up with the same girl, often making out with her and eyeing Olivia simultaneously to see if she was jealous. She wasn't.
Tonight was supposed to be "her" party because her birthday would happen over winter break, and the frat never missed an opportunity to have a good house party. But aside from a Walmart cake with her name on it, it was pretty much the standard house party. All the usual suspects were present, except for Alex, who'd been noticeably absent from most house activities for the past month or so. She wasn't sure what was up with him, but she hoped he was okay. Where he usually was calm and cool, he'd been visibly tense and agitated when she saw him last.
Olivia looked around and although it appeared as if all of the guests were having great time, she personally was bored, and not much in the mood for drinking, so she decided to take her leave early.
She was walking up the stairs to get a couple of her books and her parka from Tom's room when she heard her name being called out of Alex's room, "Liv, Liv! C'mere real quick!" he shouted.
Olivia changed directions and walked through his door which was ajar, "Hey Alex, what's up? I didn't even realize you weren't downstairs," she lied. She had been wondering where he was, but didn't want to seem too eager.
"Yeah, not feeling the party scene today, no offense, I know it's your birthday and all," he responded in a tone she couldn't read.
"Well it's not really my birthday, yet, not for a few weeks anyway. I'm with you though, I was just getting ready to grab my things and head back to my room."
"Oh I see, glad I caught you then, cuz I'm leaving tomorrow, and I got you something," he replied, finally smiling.
"For me? Thanks, you didn't have to do that," she exclaimed, genuinely surprised.
"No big deal," he countered, fishing under the bed to pull out a bag, "it's nothing much. I just know red is your favorite, and my dad is always raving about this brand. I figured you might like it," he reasoned, handing it to her. It was Beychevelle, which she knew was super expensive and definitely on the high end.
"Hope you like it," he said with an almost shy smile.
"Thanks so much, I've never tried it, but I'm sure it's great! Wanna have some with me? Even if we dont finish it, Tom bought me this juicy couture bottle stopper for my birthday, if you can believe that, just for occasions like this," she laughed.
"I was hoping you would ask," he grabbed a stack of red cups off the mini fridge and handed one to her.
"You can sit," he gestured to the bed. "So, any fun plans for break?"
"Nope, not at all. I'm staying on campus. Gonna help a couple professors in the law department with research and stuff. You still going to Margaret's for Christmas?" she inquired.
"No...we're pretty much done. I actually, um, broke up with her a couple weeks ago," he blurted out, taking a big sip and sitting down on the bed.
"Wow, I didn't expect that...what happened?" She asked before she could stop herself, she hated to pry, but she was genuinely curious. Alex and Margaret had seemed so perfect for each other and so happy together.
"I dunno Liv..." he leaned back on the bed until his head rested on the wall. He closed his eyes and took another sip. "Have you ever feel like you we're trying to fit a square peg in a round hole?" he asked looking straight in her eyes.
"Yeah," she sipped slowly, "I know that feeling."
"Well that's pretty much what happened. Our parents hooked us up, you know. Things ...just _weren't_ what they seemed to be," he offered then was quiet for a while. She took respite in the silence, trying to absorb the weight of his words.
"Can I ask you something, Liv?" he probed carefully.
"Sure...what's up?"
"What's up with you and Edison?" he asked hesitantly.
She took another big sip, "Nothing...what do you mean?"
"I mean, he's _obviously_ into you..." Alex chuckled, "what I mean is, do you feel the same way?"
She laughed a mirthless laugh, "Well, you should tell that to the blonde downstairs whose tongue he's sucking."
He rolled his eyes, "We both know he's only doing that to make you jealous...So you don't _like him,_ like him?"
She considered her next words carefully for a moment, "No..we're just friends. I really just don't see him that way."
He leaned back again and was silent for what seemed like forever, "You're beautiful, you know...and you're smart too. And funny. You have it all Olivia," he confessed in a low voice, turning his head to make eye contact.
She wasn't sure how to respond, so she remained silent.
"I'm just saying, Olivia, don't settle. Don't be like me, trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole." He took another big swig, "Hey, do you remember that night we had the NCLB argument?" he asked in a quiet voice.
"Yeah, I don't think I'll ever forget it," she chuckled. "It was my first time joining in. You were _ruining_ Edison, until I jumped into the convo. I was surprised you conceded to me," she reminisced.
He sat up again, "I think it's one of the first times I've ever been stumped in one of those arguments. The way you crafted your argument...it was _amazing_. I knew right then you were amazing. I wanted to ask you on a date right then, but I knew Edison would kill me. Plus, I had a girlfriend...I just wish there was a way to avoid house drama," he stared into his cup as if it might offer up a suggestion.
Olivia was stunned, "Alex...I-"
"I know," he interrupted, "I don't even know why I'm saying all this. It's stupid right? I mean, I'm assuming you would even be interested in me," Alex finished in a resignated tone.
She paused, not sure how to proceed, "Well...I think you're smart too...and really handsome," she added with a small grin. _What am I doing?_ She asked herself as the words were tumbling haplessly out of her mouth.
And then he was kissing her, his lips felt soft and warm and she liked it. It had been awhile since she had been kissed, but it was coming back to her, and soon she found her fingers in his hair, and his hands were on her waist.
She wasn't sure how long they were kissing when she heard a voice from the door way.
"**I need to speak to Olivia**," his icy voice boomed. It was Edison. They'd left the door cracked, and he must've walked by, possibly looking for her when he noticed she was no longer downstairs. Olivia felt a surge of guilt. Alex tried to speak, but Edison wouldn't let him.
"**NOW**," he bellowed in a tone that brooked no argument, "_downstairs_."
* * *
As soon as the pair exited the front door, Edison spun on his heels and gave her a look that could kill, "What the **_hell_** was that, Olivia?" he growled in a tone she had never heard him use before. His eyes were red from the alcohol he had consumed, but she could also see fury there.
Olivia took a step back, unsure of what he might do next. "What are you talking about?" she asked in an unsure tone.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, **don't** play the girl with me. With _him_! What the hell is going on with you two?!" he demanded in a raised voice.
"_You_ need to relax Edison, I am _not_ gonna talk to you like this," Olivia replied as she tried to remain calm, but could feel the heat raising within her. "What in the world is **wrong** with you?" she raised her voice despite her efforts to keep an even tone.
"_**You're**_ what's wrong with me, Olivia, I just don't understand you," his voice was breaking and she felt another swift surge of guilt. "I just don't know what you _want_ me from me."
She wasn't sure how much he had seen or heard, but the last thing she had meant to do was hurt his feelings. Edison had been nothing but nice to her, and if it weren't for him she would most likely still be friendless and alone.
"I'm sorry...I never meant to hurt you," Olivia took a step closer to him and grabbed his hand, "and I never meant to confuse you, or lead you on. I want us to be _friends_, Edison," she emphasized.
"You know _damn_ well I don't want to be friends with you Liv...I _love_ you. You're all I think about," he confessed and for the second time within an hour, she was stunned. This was the last thing she had been expecting. Olivia always knew he had had a crush on her, but she figured it was just him wanting to have sex.
Olivia raised her hands to her temples, wondering how things had gotten this far. Yes, they had spent a lot of time together, but she had done her best to keep it strictly platonic. Her head was beginning to hurt. She didn't want to lose him as a friend, but she also wasn't sure how to handle this without making things awkward between them.
He raised his hands to cup her face, "Liv, please, say something."
"I don't know what you want me to say," she replied, honestly at a loss for words.
"I want you to say you'll give me a chance," he answered confidently.
She stepped back, "Edison, you _think_ you love me, but you don't. You _don't_ even really know me. It could never work with us...we come from two different worlds. Your parents wouldn't want you with a girl like me...and once you knew more about me, about my family, my past...you wouldn't be so quick to say those things. You like the way I look, that's it." she explained, frustrated with the discussion and his demands.
"Why do you do that? _Every_ single time I try to get close to you, or show you that I care about you, you push me away. You make assumptions about me based on my family, and where I come from, and you won't tell me a _single_ fucking thing about your life so that I could even make one on you. I don't care about all that stuff, Liv, I really don't."
"You think you don't, but you do," she countered, shaking her head.
He stepped closer, "Let me show you...Let me kiss you, Olivia."
"Please, _don't_, that's not a good idea," she replied in an even tone.
"Olivia, please," his voice was breaking again, "Just one kiss. I promise, if you say you don't feel what I feel after this, I'll never mention it again. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I didn't get the chance..I'm not gonna be here next year. I'm going abroad for my junior year and I don't want to waste any more time. Just, _please_...give me a chance," Edison pleaded.
Her mind was screaming, _don't_, but her lips were saying, "Okay...just this once though."
Before she could the last word out of her mouth, Edison had her pressed up against the side of the house. She tried to enjoy it, but she couldn't turn her mind off, _This doesn't feel right, what am I doing?_
When he tried to stick his tongue into her mouth, she quickly turned her head. "_Edison_," she whispered.
"I'm sorry...I couldn't help myself," he replied sheepishly.
"I...should go," she answered, storming off before he could offer to walk her back to her room.
Edison smiled to himself. Olivia had put up quite a fight, but in the end, she submitted to him, like they always did. _Davis men always get what they want_, he affirmed to himself, walking back into the house.
And if there was one thing he would stop at no lengths to possess, it was Olivia Pope.
6. Christmas
** Time Lapse of 1.5 years - August of the following year**
Olivia sat at the table trying to keep her composure, but she was quickly losing it.
_This __**cannot**__ be real, he __**cannot**__ be doing this right now, _she thought to herself in disbelief.
But he was. There he was, Edison Davis, on the dance floor with some raven haired woman, sucking her tongue like there was no tomorrow. Olivia knew she ought to be jealous, but she was more disgusted than anything. She rose from the table and made her way through the cavernous dancefloor in the direction of the bathroom. The hall in which the party was being held had an elaborate Ladies Room which was part restroom and part powder room, fully equipped with a row of beautifully crafted vanities and soft seats for the women patrons to freshen their faces.
Olivia chose a seat at the far end of the row and took in her reflection. It was Edison's fraternity's Pre-Fall ball, so she had gone and had her hair and makeup professionally done, but only after purchasing a beautiful knee length black dress and the requisite four inch heels to make sure that she would look great on his arm. The night was supposed to be light and fun, and the couple was supposed to be enjoying each other's company after a long separation before the craziness of classes and extracurriculars began tomorrow, but something was off, way off.
But if Olivia was being truly honest with herself, ever since Edison had arrived on campus four days ago, things between the two of them had felt off. It forced her to question whether things had ever actually been truly _on_ between them.
The man before her seemed so much more arrogant, tepid and shallow than she had remembered him to be. Olivia tried to convince herself that she was overthinking things and allowing her insecurities to try to distance herself from him; one year abroad couldn't have changed him _that_ much, right? She had mostly persuaded herself, but when he showed up drunk to pick her up, she knew right then that this night would not go the way she had hoped when he first asked her to attend with him.
_It's almost funny_, she thought to herself, _he spent all this time chasing me, and now that he has me, he throws me away._ Maybe that was the plan the entire time; maybe he just wanted to get back at her for all those times she had rejected him.
After the night he had walked in on her kissing Alex and begged for a chance, the two had become closer. Just like he promised, he hadn't mentioned it when she didn't verbalize that the feelings were mutual, but eventually, during her second semester, she had opened up to him a little bit more. She never shared with him the details of her life in Ohio, but she did reveal the nature of her mother's death and her deep hatred of her uncle. Edison didn't seem to understand much of it, but he was at the very least sympathetic.
When spring break had come, he opted to stay on campus and hang with her instead of going to France with his parents and during that timea second kiss occurred. After which they had become an "official" thing, well official in _some_ sense of the word anyway. Olivia told him he could be her boyfriend, but was adamant about not having sex, which Edison seemed to be okay with.
She had never felt able to reciprocate that sense of burning physical desire for him that her seemed to feel for her, but she had trusted him when he said he would wait, even while he was abroad. Now Olivia felt stupid for believing him; if he would get drunk enough to make out with another woman right in front of her, she had no doubt that he had been engaging in far worse abroad.
_I don't even care_, she told herself, _I'm only with him because he begged me anyways,_ she tried to console herself. But if she was being completely honest with herself, it did hurt. She had been publicly humiliated; _everyone_ knew they were here together, and _everyone_ saw the blatant disrespect and disregard Edison had displayed towards her.
Olivia was furious.
_**This** is exactly why I didn't want to date, it's a waste of time and mental space_, she chided herself. She knew she would be thinking about this night for at least a week, against her own will.
_I'm through with this,_ she whispered to herself, rising from the vanity with resolve, _I have my most important class tomorrow, I don't have time for this._ Tomorrow was the first day of her Law, Politics and Persuasion class with the infamous Cyrus Beene, and she couldn't afford to be tired and irritated.
Olivia returned to the main room, scanning the dance floor to find Edison who still seemed to be oblivious to the fact that he was not kissing his date. She pulled out her phone and sent him a simple text, "**don't contact me anymore, it's over.**"
Olivia grabbed her purse and slipped out of the party before anyone could notice or try to stop her.
* * *
Fitz flipped back and forth through his ridiculous number of ties trying to decide on one. He had already changed it four times in the last half an hour and he was beginning to annoy himself with his own indecision, if that was even possible. Each tie seemed to look perfect on the rack, but each time he had gone to adjust it in the mirror, it somehow seemed completely wrong in his reflection.
_They're **just** college students, Fitz, they really don't give a damn about your tie,_ he reprimanded himself, _just freaking pick one and get it over with_.
Navy blue. That's the one he was going with, no matter _how_ it looked in the mirror this time. Fitz noted that he was already fifteen minutes behind schedule as he looked down at his watch. He had planned to grab something to eat to quell the butterflies in his stomach, but now he wasn't exactly sure if he would have time.
Fitz was beyond nervous, he was anxious, and rightfully so because today was a new start for him, his first day at Harvard, and he was on edge.
_I'm not even the professor, I don't know why I'm so worried, I'm just going to give a few speeches and help out, that's it. _
But if Fitz was being completely honest, that wasn't it; today represented more than just a new job, but a new start. He had spent most of his life in California, living under his father's thumb and doing exactly what was expected of a "Grant Man." Now, those days were over. After a failed bid at governor, betrayal, divorce, and a very angry father who he considered essentially dead to him, he was starting over anew.
Not as Fitzgerald Grant III, his father's creation, but as his _own_ man.
Before his divorce papers had even been officially filed, he had been contacting old business connections on the east coast to put as much distance as he could between himself, his soon to be ex-wife, Mellie, and his father. An old fraternity brother of his was well connected at Harvard, and knew of a position that they were looking to fill in the law department as a dual role working as an adjunct guest lecturer directly under the Dean of Studies, Cyrus Beene, as well as a fill thr seat on the Communications Committee for the City Council.
Even though Fitz had not won his bid for governor, his speeches and delivery had gained him attention on the national stage and so his reputation, along with a well placed word from some old connections had landed him in Boston. It was a great opportunity and much more than he could have hoped for when he had first planned his escape. The twice a week class was a year long commitment from the students, all of which had applied to be in the class, and had been handpicked by Cyrus. The class was set to be amazing, and he hoped to learn a lot from Cyrus.
This was his chance to make it on his own, without his father interfering and controlling him, so there was no room for failure. Fitz felt the pressure to do his job, and do it well, because if he didn't there was no longer a professional safety net for him. The Grant name alone wouldn't garner him much job security here in Boston.
He chuckled to himself, _I can't believe this is the first time that I'm finally doing something I want to do, completely on my own, at 35 years old._ It was partially humorous, but also kind of sad to him.
Fitz looked around his apartment at the boxes everywhere, wondering which one might possibly hold a belt and remarked that his place looked as messy and cluttered as he felt.
_Get it together, Grant, today is the first day of the rest of your life_, he told himlself.
Forgetting the belt, he grabbed his suit jacket and briefcase off of the meager love seat that accounted for the entirety of his living room furniture. _I'm gonna get this together this weekend_, he promised himself as he walked out of the front door, the same thing he had told himself each of the last the four weekends he had spent in the condo. Maybe it would happen this one, though.
Fitz drove to the campus and made his way up to the classroom in a daze, allowing adrenaline and nature to take over. He was at the podium rereading his notes for the hundredth time, when Cyrus came in and patted him on the back.
"You ready, tiger?" he asked in his usual Cyrus tone. Fitz had gotten to know him a bit over the last four weeks, and he was beginning to really like the man.
"As ready as I'll ever be," he replied with a smile.
Fitz tapped the small mic and asked the class for their attention. As he began to introduce himself, he scanned the room, making superficial eye contact with everyone. It was a little politician's trick, a way of making each person feel connected and important. But when he caught the eye of one female student in middle of the leftmost row, he couldn't break away and lost his train of thought.
_She is so...beautiful_, he thought to himself before coughing to buy himself a moment and then continuing, hoping no one had noticed his momentary lapse.
A voice in the back of his mind told him, _That's nothing but trouble, Grant. Steer clear,_ and so he did for as long as he could.
* * *
**December**
Olivia rolled over and looked at the time: **8:17** a.m. Reaching one arm lazily over the side of the bed, she grabbed her laptop off of the floor and opened it up to check her email. One from Harrison, one from Professor Beene. She decided to open the one from Harrison first:
**Subject line: Christmas break**
**Yo! Charge your damn phone and call me back, it's serious! Problem back in OH, mom's sick I need to go...that means we can't do Christmas together like we planned :( I'm sorry Liv, call me please, I'll give you the details, don't be mad at me, love you**
**-Harry**
_Ughhh_, she groaned to herself, _Whyyyy nowww?_ It wasn't that she was going to miss him; this was his first year at MIT, which was a stone's throw away, so she saw him quite regularly, but it was their tradition to have Christmas together. Even when he was still in high school, Harrison had flown out to be with her during the holidays for the last two years. On top of that, she had made plans to stay at he and Huck's off campus apartment and the deadline had two days passed to request to stay on campus during break.
As much as she loved Huck, it would be weird to stay there for the duration winter break, just the two of them. Now, she was either going to have to make up some sob story for ResLife, or find some stupid hotel to stay in. Olivia wondered momentarily about her aunt's health, but quickly dismissed the thoughts. _She's probably just exaggerating to get him to come home_, Olivia mumbled to herself. Next, she opened the email from Professor Beene:
**Subject line: Re: Final Draft**
**Hi Olivia,**
**Hope this finds you well! Read your paper, it's good, but not the greatness I know you can produce! You're my best student, I need you to rework this paper. You've used this approach before, try something fresh. I have already left for the holidays, but I suggest you take advantage of Professor Grant's office hours. You have until Jan 17th.**
**-Beene**
_Oh god_, Olivia thought as she reread the email with butterflies in her stomach. _Well at least I'll have something to do on Christmas now_. But to be honest, the paper wasn't the part that had her nervous- it was going to see Professor Grant for help, and one on one at that.
She had been avoiding him since that first day in class. When his eyes met hers in that room full of people, she had felt like it was just the two of them in the continuum of time and space somewhere. She had heard the thumping of her heart so loud in her ears that she thought it might be caught in her throat instead of it's usual place in her chest. And when he lost his speech for a moment and didn't break the gaze, she had had the distinct feeling that he had felt it too.
After his short lecture, he had insisted on shaking everyone's hand and she had felt as small as a church mouse. When his strong, but soft hand enveloped hers, she'd felt almost..._whole_, for that second. Afterwards, she felt as flushed as if he had actually kissed her instead of shaking her hand. He had made her feel like some stupid little fan girl, and she hated it and tried to repress it. When they learned that the class would be split into two work groups on non lecture days, one under Grant and one under Beene, she breathed a sigh of relief to learn that she was on Beene's team.
Now she was back to square one.
Olivia made a quick trip to ResLife, happy to find the RA there rather genial and understanding to her plight. Since she lived on the on campus apartments, it was no problem for the woman to adjust it in the system to reflevy that she would be staying over winter break.
Before Olivia left, the nice lady reminded her not to lose her key because neither Campus Police nor ResLife would be available from the 24th to the 26th of December. If there was an emergency, she had advised her to contact Boston PD, who would be doing conducting the perimeter rounds, nevertheless they wouldn't have roomcard access. Olivia agreed, signed the paperwork, and headed back to her house. Upon her arrival, she decided to visit her class' webct board and sign up for Professor Grant's office hours on December twenty-third at one p.m.
* * *
Olivia made her way down the deafeningly silent corridor to Professor Grant's office, admonishing herself the entire way, _He's helping you with a paper, it's not a date, relax Olivia_. But she couldn't shake the nervousness that had plagued her the entire morning. She awoke at 9:30, unable to sleep any longer, and the butterflies in her stomach had taken flight right then.
She stopped right outside his door, and saw him sitting at his laptop, intently focused on whatever was on his screen. She knocked softly and he looked up, when he saw it was her, he gave her a smile. "Hello Ms. Pope," he greeted her as he stood and motioned to the seat in front of his desk, "You can have a seat."
"Thanks," she replied, returning his smile. "You can call me Olivia," she sat down, taking out her laptop as he was watched her carefully.
She was pulling up her paper when she heard his chair being drug around to the other side of the desk, right beside hers. She swallowed hard and looked up at him.
"I figured it would work best if we could look on together?" he responded to the question in her eyes.
"Yes, of course," Olivia answered nonchalantly, but she could feel the temperature in her cheeks rising. Not wasting any time, she began to explain her persuasion points and what she thought might be her weak points, but her mouth was on auto pilot because she knew her paper back and front. Her mind was lost again in his eyes, so blue they could have been snapshots of an exotic ocean in the Caribbean someplace.
Olivia had to hold back a sigh every time he bit his lip before offering a change or suggestion to her paper; it was clearly a subconscious mannerism, but god he looked so sexy doing it. She had hoped that whatever it was that she had felt when he first cast a glance her way had been a fluke, but sitting here, in his office, she couldn't help but to be completely enamored. He was so eloquent and charming without even meaning to be.
When she finally snapped out of it, it was because she was noticing how the sunset was casting an angelic glow around his face and when she peered at the clock on his desk, it was almost four o'clock! Olivia was amazed that the two of them had spent almost three hours talking and laughing, not only about her paper, but other random topics that happened to be tangential and she didn't mind one bit. She was absolutely enjoying every second in his presence, but she didn't want to seem like a nuisance.
"Wow, I'm sorry Professor Grant, I didn't mean to take up so much of your time. I'm sure you have other things to do!" she excused herself with a grin, gathering her laptop and papers off of his desk.
"Actually, no, not really," he chuckled. "No one else has signed up for office hours in days, thank you for coming to see me," he said in a serious tone, staring at her intently. Olivia had to break their gaze for fear that he would see right through her.
"Are you not going home for the holidays?" he asked curiously.
"No...I had plans, but things fell through, so I'm staying on campus. Gonna work on this paper and get some other stuff done," she explained.
"Understood, well good luck. And hey, feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you make any changes you'd like me to take a look at," he offered.
She smiled and moved to the doorway, "Will do. Thanks again, Professor Grant, and Happy Holidays!"
* * *
Fitz sat in his bedroom, letting the news play on the television in the background while he idly browsed the web and sipped a beer. It was Christmas, and he was bored and alone. He decided to check his work email, and saw that Olivia had sent him an updated copy of the paper he had helped her with late last night.
Fitz chuckled to himself, _She is relentless._ He admired her work ethic, and tried not to think about how beautiful she was up close. Her lips...her nose...her eyelashes...and when she smiled...
_Cut it out, Grant, she's your student, and a kid besides that, you shouldn't be thinking about her like that,_ he admonished himself.
But the more he tried not to think about it, the more he _did_ think about it. And on top of her beauty, she was brilliant. He had read some of her writing, and she clearly had a talent, but speaking with her was an experience. He had actually had..._fun_...during office hours? It seemed absurd, but the fact that she had stayed past the standard thirty minutes, in fact closer to three hours, told him that she at the very least found him helpful.
_I'm just lonely_, he rationalized to himself, trying to reconcile his conscience with his desires. For the last three months he had thrown himself into his work, leaving very little time for socializing. Aside from a few happy hour outings with coworkers, and some solo trips to a local spot called The Stinking Goose, he had pretty much stayed to opened the email:
**Hi Professor Grant,**
**Thanks again for all the help the other day. I made a lot of the changes you suggested, and I'm still working on it, however I thought it might be good enough for you to take another look. I know you're probably enjoying your time off, so don't worry about rushing it back to me.**
**-Olivia**
Fitz found himself writing back before he could think about it:
**Hi Olivia,**
**It was my pleasure the other day, and I'm glad you found me to be helpful. I'll definitely take a look at this right away since I'm not really going to be doing much celebrating until later, if at all. I hope you're not going to be spending your entire Christmas working on this paper!**
Fitz clicked send it away before he could be fraught with indecision about his diction. A minute later, she responded, and he couldn't help but grin.
**Yes, I'm going to be a good student and try to knock it out today! Almost everyone is gone from campus, anyway, and I think I told you the other day about my plans falling through. Not really much else for me to do. It's not too bad. Thanks for taking a look at it for me so soon, are you celebrating with family? **
**-Olivia**
Fitz sipped his beer thoughtfully and responded,
**See, that's exactly why Cyrus calls you his star student. I'm sure the hard work will pay off. And no, no family celebrations - I'm a transplant from the West Coast, so no relatives close by. There's actually a shabby, but very cool little eatery in town called The Stinking Goose and they're having a special Christmas menu and unlimited Stinkin' Cider all night, which is better than it sounds. I'm going around six and you're more than welcome to join me.**
**-Fitz**
As soon as he sent it, he felt a surge of regret.
_That was so inappropriate, what the hell were you thinking?_ The angel on one shoulder was kicking him.
_You were thinking that she's pretty, and she's smart, and you want her_, the little devil on the other shoulder fired back.
_And therein lies problem_.
Five minutes passed, and when she still hadn't responded back Fitz really began to kick himself. He started to write an email to rescind the invitation,
**Olivia, I'm sorry if that last email came across wrong. Don't feel pressured to say yes, it was in appropriate of me**
And then he saw the notification in the corner of the screen that she had already written back. His heart thumped with dread, but he saved his draft and then clicked on the new message from her.
**Wow, that's a weird name! I've never heard of it, but thanks for the invite, it sounds cool. I was just going to have popcorn for dinner, but that sounds so much better. I can get there by six, so I'll see you there?**
**-Olivia**
He smiled in spite of himself and couldn't contain his joy.
_I guess there's nothing wrong with being just a __**little**__ bit inappropriate. _
_A/N: Hope you guys like Fitz so far! The next episode will be called StinkingGoose, and since I don't have a life and a few days off for Memorial Day, it'll be up this weekend!_
7. StinkingGoose
Olivia was standing in front of her dresser rummaging through her tops, and finding none to be satisfactory. It was only one o'clock, but she figured she had better get the process started early if she wanted to actually make it there on time. She knew she would most likely change her mind about her outfit a number of times, even though she kept reminding herself that the outing wasn't a big deal. She was kind of nervous, but moreso excited. She couldn't believe that he thought she was cool enough to hang out with in an informal environment.
_He doesn't, he just felt bad for you being alone on Christmas, that's all,_ a voice whispered in the back of her mind and she quickly shut it down.
_I am **not** going to be a Negative Nancy today,_ she promised herself. Olivia knew once she got into that mood, she wouldn't be able to shake it, and it would taint the whole night. _Not today..._she thought until the doorbell interrupted her thoughts.
_Who the hell is that?_ she wondered to herself, moving to the window to see if she could get a glimpse of the culprit. Olivia spotted a DHL truck parked directly in front of her house and groaned. She booked it down the stairs, but just as she was opening the door, the deliveryman was already back in his truck pulling away from the cub. She grabbed the small package out of the dropbox and looked at the sender's name: Edison Davis. She groaned again, _Not another one, this is getting beyond ridiculous!_
Ever since the complete failure that was the Pre-Fall ball, he had been trying to get back into her good graces. After he realized that trying to talk to her in person was as good as talking to a wall, he began sending notes and exotic flowers. When that garnered him zero response, he upgraded to teddy bears and small trinkets. Now he was in the stage of expensive gifts. Somehow Olivia would come home and the parcels would just be there waiting for her. She had asked her housemates to stop accepting the deliveries, but they were more sympathetic to him than to her, and told her at the very least she should accept the gifts.
But she didn't _want_ the gifts. Olivia was sure that it was a ploy to get her to contact him, so she had purposely continued to ignore the generous gestures, and quietly began adding the new gifts to a cardboard box in the closet. Nevertheless, over the last few weeks the gifts had increased sharply in quantity, and it was really beginning to irritate her.
She had left most of them unopened, but curiosity got the best of her and she decided to open this particular package before adding it to the pile. Shocked to find a Tiffany's tennis bracelet, Olivia muttered to herself in disbelief, _He really thinks I have a price._ _Enough is enough_, she decided, picking up the phone to end this once and for all. The line didn't even ring one full time before he picked it up, "Merry Christmas, baby, so I guess you liked the bracelet huh?" Edison asked in a cocksure tone, "my dad said you would."
"I am _**not**_ your baby, and _no_, Edison, I don't want the bracelet, or anything else. What I really want, is for you to stop sending me things! It's _**over**_, what part of '_do not contact me_' did you _**not**_ understand? I am going to send you back all of the gifts, so just stop, please, let it go," Olivia huffed in an aggravated tone, shifting the phone to her other ear.
"Olivia...no."
"_What_?" she asked, exasperated.
"I **said**, no," he retorted coolly.
"What do you mean, **no**?" she asked, dumbfounded. "You can't _make_ me want to be with you, Edison. It doesn't work like that."
He chuckled softly, "Olivia, seriously, cut the bullshit. I'm getting really tired of this poor little orphan girl, woe is me, you don't get me act. It's getting old, and I'm getting tired of chasing you. So _here's_ what we're gonna do: you're gonna take these next couple weeks until I get back to campus on the tenth to continue this 'I'm-so-mad-at-you' act, and then you're gonna get over it. You're gonna thank me for the gifts, and we're going to consummate this relationship. I _want_ you, and I'm going to _have_ you, and you're _going_ to comply."
Olivia looked at the phone in disbelief, not believing her ears completely. She chuckled, and then laughed heartily, "Edison...you're crazy. You're completely delusional, and I honestly think you may have a few screws loose. You're spoiled, entitled, and manipulative, and you know what, I'm not sure how I didn't see it before. . . .see **you, before**. I don't know how much clearer I can be, I'm _done_ with this. Now here's what _**I'm**_ going to do: _I'm_ going to put these things in a box and have it available for you to pick up whenever you're ready, and if _you_ don't come pick theisstuff up by the end of January, _I'm_ going to donate it to GoodWill. Goodbye, Edison," she finished, endint the call without waiting for a response. He was already on her straight to voicemail list, so he could call back as many times as he wanted and it would be of no use.
Olivia had kept a calm and even tone on the phone with him, but part of her was a little worried. Even though she was pretty sure he was harmless, she didn't put anything past anyone; people snapped all the time. Especially people with money and means, that were used to getting exactly what they wanted. Something about the cold and calculated tone he had used when he was telling her the plan that she "had" to comply with reminded her of her uncle.
_I should have listened to my gut about him,_ she chided herself. But for tonight, at least, she was gonna put that out of her mind and try to have fun.
* * *
Fitz was sitting in a small booth in the back which was facing the door so he could see her come in. The Stinking Goose was small enough that all the seats pretty much had a view of the door, but this booth was his favorite. He fiddled with the cutlery, and then his phone, and then checked his watch in spite of himself, **5:47**. He had made sure to arrive early to secure a booth, not to mention that he was getting extremely anxious sitting in his apartment.
The Stinking Goose was bustling with activity today, and he was pretty sure it had something to do with the unlimited refills on the Stinkin' Cider that had been heavily advertised in the last month. The establishment had done an impressive job of jazzing up the place, replacing the normal tablecloths with red and green checkered fabrics, utilizing mini Christmas trees as the centerpieces, setting up the nativity scene behind the bar, and plastering red and green string lights everywhere.
The decorations gave the place a nice, holiday ambience while still maintaining some semblance of a bar scene. Fitz looked out of the cloudy window and noticed that it was snowing softly outside. It was his first Christmas snow and the flakes looked like big fluffs of powdered sugar floating on wisps of air.
He saw her as soon as she walked in and he immediately rose to greet her. Olivia was wearing almost all white, from her scarf, to her parka and pants, but her boots were a bright Christmas green. She was wearing her hair straight and about her shoulders and small snowflakes danced between the strands, giving her an angelic and innocent look. She took his breath away. Their eyes met and he couldn't stop the smile that was spreading across his face as she was crossing the distance to their booth.
"Hi," was all he could manage once she was directly in front of him.
"Hi," she replied sliding into the booth, seating herself a safe distance from him.
"Did you find the place okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, the bus actually stops just a couple of blocks from here," she answered, unwrapping her scarf and removing her coat. She was wearing a silken white top that dipped around the collar bone, exposing her exquisite neck and tempting skin.
"Oh, you don't drive?" he asked, searching for words to shake his nervousness.
"Well I do have my license, but I don't really like driving much. Plus, the public transportation around here isn't so bad, all of the buses pretty much stop on campus. I usually ride my bike if I need to get someplace quick," she explained with a smile.
"Haha, yeah, well with the gas prices right now, I don't blame you either. Uh, I drove here tonight, I could drop you off on the way back...it's not out of my way," he offered.
Just then the waitress came over to take their drink orders,"Can I get you guys a drink to start?" she asked genially.
"Sure, I'll have a Stinkin' Cider," he turned to Olivia, "and what would you like?"
"I'll have the same," she replied with a soft smile.
"Comin' right up," the waitress turned on her heels to go fill their orders.
Fitz paused for a second, he hadn't even bothered to check if she was of drinking age yet, _Dumb move Grant. _
It was awkward but he had to ask, "Olivia, are you 21 yet?"
"Soon," she answered, not taking her eyes from the menu.
Fitz chuckled, "How soon is soon?"
"Soon enough," she raised her eyes to meet his with a knowing smirk. "Don't worry, it's not my first time at the rodeo."
He couldn't help but laugh at her charm, "Now what exactly does _that_ mean?"
"It means I can handle it," she looked straight into his eyes. "I promise you that I will not get drunk and make you regret inviting me. There's probably only like five percent alcohol in the cider, anyway," she added, returning her eyes back to the menu.
Just then the waitress returned with their mugs and he decided to drop it. She was right about the low alcohol content, and thinking back on it, he was definitely drinking scotch and not hard cider at twenty. Now if she started ordering highballs, then he would be forced to intervene. "You guys ready to order?" the waitress interrupred his thoughts.
Olivia looked to him, "You come here often, right? Maybe you should just order for the both of us sinceI'm sure you know what's good here."
"Um, sure," he agreed, casting another glance at the menu, "I'll order a bunch of things I think you should try, and you can decide what you like?"
"Sounds great," she gave him another smile.
As the waitress took their menus away, the pair made small talk and Olivia inquired about his past Christmases on the west coast. He found himself telling her stories, many of them embarrassing, about how Christmas was for him as a child in the valley. She laughed heartily, asked questions in the right places, and encouraged him to continue and Fitz found himself telling stories he forgot that he remembered. The waitress kept refilling their ciders, and over the course of the conversation the space between them had dwindled until their thighs were brushing.
Fitz felt so comfortable talking to Olivia that it was almost as if there was no one else in the room until their attention was diverted by the clanging of silverware against glass. As he looked around, he wondered when it had gotten so crowded; all the tables were full, as well as the stools at the bar and a number of people were still standing yet.
There was silence for a moment, and then they heard the bartender's voice ring out, "Okay everyone, you know what time it is! Karaoke timeeeee! Sign up right here with me. We're closing a little bit earlier than usual tonight, so get your requests in before ten-thirty!"
The crowd cheered and a number of people went up to browse the catalogue just as a drunken, brown haired woman jumped on the microphone and began butchering 'Don't Stop Believing.'
"Are you a fan of karaoke?" Fitz strained over the woman's crooning.
"Huh," she couldn't hear him over the extremely loud vocals.
Fitz leaned down closer so he could whisper directly into her ear, "Are you a fan of karaoke?" he repeated himself.
He thought he saw her body tremble slightly before she readjusted herself, planting her hand on the leather seat in between them, slightly grazing his thigh. She leaned up, her lips slightly brushed his ear, "Me? Noooo," she giggled, "I'm not really the karaoke type."
It was his turn to tremble as the faint feeling of her lips against his lobe sent a jolt of electricity and fire through him. He leaned down closer, his nose slightly grazing her cheek "What exactly is the karaoke type?" he asked.
"Her," she laughed, pointing at the mess of a woman standing on bar, still belting Journey and he joined in the laughter.
Fitz turned serious for a moment, "I don't believe it," he pulled back and stared intently into her eyes before leaning forward into her ear again, "I bet you sound as beautiful as you look."
She smiled humbly, blushed and turned her head, breaking their eye contact and exposing her graceful neck to his hungry eyes. Fitz could smell her light scent and it brought to mind vanilla and honey. He imagined himself running his lips, tongue and teeth over the sensitive skin there until she trembled in his arms and moaned his name.
_You're playing with fire_, a voice of reason welled up within him and he straightened up a little bit. As if she could sense his indecent thoughts, Olivia excused herself to the restroom. He watched her disappear into the crowd in the direction of the ladies' room and trird to quell the desire burgeoning within himself.
_Why does she have to be my freaking student? __I guess it doesn't matter why, because she is, just shut this down_, his conscience reprimanded.
The lights flickered and came on at eleven o'clock, "Okay everyone, you don't gotta go home, but you can't stay here! Thanks for spending your Christmas with The Stinking Goose. We'll be closed for a couple days until the evening of the twenty-seventh. Make sure you come join us for our New Year's Eve bash!"
The crowd clapped and cheered and everyone began moving from their seats en masse to the door.
"Looks like they're kicking us out," he told her with a small smile, sad to see their night end.
"Yeah, I can't believe we've been here for like 5 hours, it didn't even feel like it all. Thanks again for inviting me...Can I take you up on that ride?" she asked hopefully.
"Of course," Fitz grinned, happy to steal some extra moments with her.
The couple rose to join the slow moving crowd en route to the door and some pushing began so Fitz grabbed her hand so they wouldn't get separated by the crowd. His heart leapt when he felt her fingers glide into empty crevices between his digits. Once they eventually made it out of the front door, he led her to his car, her small, graceful hand still intertwined with his. He felt overjoyed that she hadn't withdrawn her fingers from his yet. He opened the passenger side door for her, then slid around to the driver's side, cranking up the heat. The snow had actually stuck, and there was a distinct frost in the air. _The weather is the only thing I miss about California,_ he thought to himself.
As they pulled off in the direction of campus, the two laughed and joked about the patrons who had made complete fools of themselves at karaoke.
He was just turning onto campus when he heard her mumble, "Oh shit."
"What's wrong?" he asked, taking his eyes off of the road momentarily.
"I can't find my key card. I know I had it before I left, and now it's not here," she groaned.
"Oh no, that's no good," Fitz reached up and turned on the small overhead light so Olivia could get a clearer look into her bag as he simultaneously wheeled the car around. "Let's head back to The Stinking Goose, maybe they're still locking up and we can see if it's in our booth," he reasoned.
"Oh _goddd_," she whined dejectedly as he watched her through the mirror, rummaging furiously through her small bag with her face scrunched up anxiously. He whipped it as quickly as he could back to The Stinking Goose, but the gate was already down, the lights off, and all of the cars gone from the parking lot.
Olivia put her head in her hands and looked like she wanted to cry; all the fun of their evening had been washed away in a single moment. She breathed in deeply, "I'm gonna check and see if maybe I dropped it outside," she explained as she exited the car. Fitz followed her lead, hoping maybe his extra set of eyes would make all the difference, but knowing that the snow on the ground and lack of daylight was working against them.
"Fuck," she grumbled, kicking around snow frustratedly as if she hoped the ground would offer it up. "It's not here. I dont have it, I'm not sure what I should do," she admitted with her voice shaking, "ResLife warned me that there wouldn't be anyone around to let me in for the next couple days, and of course I would lose my card then..." She let out a frustrated noise and it seemed like she was talking more to herself than him.
"Hey," Fitz moved closer and placed his hand lightly on her shoulder, "it happens, okay?Don't beat yourself up. Everyone has lost their keys at one point or another. You're not in this alone, I wouldn't leave you stranded. Come on, let's go downtown, see if maybe we can find you a room for the night? How does that sound?" he tried to reassure her.
"Thanks," she grumbled, her mood not seeming to improve that much, but she offered him a strained smile in spite of it, "I appreciate it." She was quiet in the car, and he could tell she was still beating herself up for the mishap. He wanted to say something, but everything seemed cliche.
* * *
Four hotels. They went to four hotels before they found a vacancy. Even though the two of them weren't doing much celebrating for the holidays, the hotels were bustling with activity, and apparently mostly sold out. Fitz pulled into the Westin, hoping for better luck. As they walked into the lobby, the front desk associate greeted them with a perky intensity that felt odd for such a late hour. He wondered how many coffees she was keyed up on.
"Welcome to the Westin where **ALLLL** our guests are very important people! My name is Judy, and how may I help you today?!" she exclaimed, all teeth.
"Hi Judy," he replied, unable to return her energy, "we wanted to see if you had a vacancy available for the next two nights?"
"I'd be much obliged to check our availability for you sir, but I must mention that due to the holidays, we are requiring our guests to adhere to a three night minimum policy, and room selection is rather restricted," she informed him while punching away at the keys on her computer.
"Okay, we'll let's see what you have," he stated trying to be positive. He could visibly see Olivia's level of frustration rising with each passing rejection.
"Well sir, I'm happy to inform you that we do have just _one_ two-room suite available for the following three nights, at our best available rate of $679 per night. Would you like to secure that with a credit or debit card?" she asked with a syrupy sweet smile.
His head was still spinning at the exorbitant price and the nonchalant attitude in which she'd offered it in, when he heard Olivia take a deep sigh and saw her sliding a card across the counter.
"Whoa, whoa, hold on, we'll come right back. Let us just check out one more option ma'am," he interrupted the transaction, grabbing Olivia's small hand that still held the card and leading her out of the lobby and back into the car.
"What did you do that for?" she asked, "There probably won't be anything else available, and I'm honestly tired of looking, it's getting late," she told him in a resignated tone as they slid into the car.
"Olivia, did you hear that price? I couldn't let you agree to that. It's way too much, even for the Westin. How would you explain that to your parents? Wouldn't they kill you once they saw the statement?"
She sighed and looked out of the window, "They're dead, that's how I have the money."
He froze, "I'm sorry Olivia, I wouldn't have said...I didn't know, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, there's no way you could have known. It's fine, really, I'm used to people asking."
"Okay, but again I'm sorry...look, I just don't feel right about you spending that kind of money. I feel partially responsible...I know it may be a little strange, but I would feel bad not offering... I have a couch. I'd be more than willing to give you my bed for the next couple days, and I'll stick it out on the sofa...And it won't cost either of us a thousand dollars," he offered with a reassuring smile.
She looked over at him, "You would do that for me?"
He reached over and covered her hand with his, momentarily emboldened, "Come on, let's go."
His conscience was screaming at him that it was a stupid move, and he knew he was playing a dangerous game, but Fitz couldn't find it within himself to care. He was intoxicated by her presence and he glad the night wouldn't be coming to an end just yet. He had spent the entire semester avoiding her, but somehow it felt like the universe was conspiring to bring them together and he was tired of fighting fate.
**A/N: yeah, Edison is a little crazy! He doesn't give up easily either! Alex will come up again in the next chapter or two, and Olivia will definitely get closer next chapter. Do you think Fitz is way overstepping his boundaries? Next chapter within a couple days or so!**
8. Trust
Olivia knew she should be alarmed, but she wasn't, which was alarming in its own way. She was alone in a car with a man, who for all intents and purposes, was a stranger and it was late at night. She was on the way to his apartment, and no one knew where she was. She hadn't even told Harrison that she was going out for the night.
_Well if anything happens, I still have our email exchange saved on my computer, so it won't take the police too long to figure it out, _she told herself.
Olivia knew she was being reckless, but for some strange reason, she wasn't afraid; she trusted him. She had only spent a few hours with Fitz in totality, but she was in complete awe of him; he was funny, smart, kind and generous. She could completely get lost in his eyes, and when they were at The Stinking Goose, the hours the two had spent together felt more like minutes. She knew as her professor Fitz was really putting himself out there on the line and could potentially get in deep trouble for going out of his way for her like he was, and so she was grateful.
She knew she was probably reading too much into it, but she felt like maybe he was even flirting with her when he called her beautiful, but he was probably just being nice. Although Olivia was initially really pissed about losing her keycard, but she couldn't help but be a bit happy in the way that things in had turned in that allowed her the chance to spend more time with him outside of a formal school setting and see what his personal space was like.
As they pulled up in front of his building, Olivia admired the architectural style of the edifice. It was built of a beautiful brownish red brick, with modern black accents on the corners and modern style ceiling to floor windows. It looked to be about twelve stories, with what appeared to be a penthouse on the top. The building was very impressive and expensive looking and she couldn't help but wonder how he could afford it. She was under the impression that professors, especially adjunct lecturers, didn't make that much, even at a prestigious university like Harvard.
Fitz parked and she followed him into the building lobby where a doorman greeted them.
"Hey Hal, how are you tonight?" he asked with his million dollar smile.
"I'm doing well sir," the doorman responded jovially, "I hope you're having a wonderful evening and happy holidays. Thanks again for the Christmas card."
"No problem, don't even mention it," Fitz replied humbly. "Hal, this is Olivia, she's going to be my guest for the next couple of days. Could you put her on the list?"
"Consider it done, and your elevator is here, sir."
As the pair ascended to the eleventh floor in the elevator, Fitz felt himself growing nervous. "Just a warning, my place is still kind of a work-in-progress," he apologized with a shy smile, "the bedroom and everything is pretty much set, but the living room is a bit of a mess."
"Oh, don't worry about, I'm sure its fine," she waved off his concerns.
He knew it was a bit silly, but he wanted her to like his place and feel comfortable. She was actually his very first house guest, and although he'd been promising himself to unpack all the boxes and get the living room set up, it was in pretty much the same state as it was four months ago when he first moved in.
Fitz had done a little bit of organizing, such as putting boxes with miscellaneous things in the closet, and stacking the ones that didn't fit in a more orderly fashion in one corner of the living room, but that was pretty much it. He was grateful he had done at least that much now that Olivia was about to sharing his space. He still hadn't bought any living room furniture yet, so the cramped love seat would have to be his sleeping quarters for the next couple of nights. It would be uncomfortable, but she was worth it.
When the lift stopped on his floor he led her down the hallway to his apartment. "Welcome to my humble abode," he announced as they stepped in, turning on the lights.
"Wow, it's beautiful," she remarked, looking around.
"It's a mess," he replied, laughing.
She laughed too, "I mean it would help if you did something with the boxes, but the apartment itself is beautiful, especially with the large windows. And I really like the shade of gray on the walls."
Fitz looked around with renewed interest, _I guess it's not so bad_, he thought to himself. "Come on, let me show you around," he offered, grabbing her hand again. He was quickly becoming addicted to the feeling of her small, svelte fingers in between his. His place wasn't huge, but it was pretty spacious.
Fitz showed her his modern kitchen first, all black, sleek, and technologically advanced from the black marble countertops to the dishwasher. He then showed her the half bedroom he was using as a study that he had begun styling in an antique fashion as a breakaway from the rest of the house. Last, he showed her his master bedroom where she would be staying.
His bedroom walls were a charcoal gray, and in the center was his platform California king sized bed, adorned with plush white bedding. Directly across from the bed was a 42'' LCD television, underneath which was a large black wooden dresser, wide and overstated. On the right hand side of the room was the large walk in closet, whose doors were covered with gleaming mirrors and beside it was a large floor to ceiling window. One the left hand side of the room was a gray tufted chaise, and the wall behind it was broken up by a door which led to the master bath. The room seemed perfectly him: modern, inviting and modest. The only thing that seemed outside of the contemporary style of the room was a black antique chest at the foot of the bed.
"What's in there?" she asked, hoping she wasn't prying.
He sat on the bed, "Oh just some of my old sketches and some paintings. Not quite sure what I'm going to do with them yet."
"Wow, I didn't take you for an artist...may I see?" she asked hopefully.
He paused for a moment, he hadn't shown his work to anyone in over 12 years, and he was sensitive about his creations. He liked her though, and he sensed that even if she didn't necessarily understand them, she would be kind.
"Sure," he said smiling, a little flattered that she was interested in seeing a personal part of him. He cracked open the large chest and pulled the canvases out carefully first, then the loose sketches and his sketch books. He knelt down on the floor and she sat beside him, looking over the pieces.
"Oh my god...these are amazing. They're absolutely beautiful," she said running her fingers over one of the oil paintings. It was a layered piece that he had begun right after he lost his bid for governor. She looked at him and smiled. He could see a sparkle in her eye; she looked truly pleased, and she wasn't patronizing him.
"Do they have names?" She wondered aloud.
"Yeah, the one you were just touching is called Rainy Day. That's the first one I had done in a long time. That one next to it, the red and blue abstract, is called Galaxy. The red balloon is its name sake, and the loose pieces are untitled."
She picked up his portrait book, "How come you stopped?"
He watched her carefully, her small fingers deftly turning the pages and tracing his lines. Her full lips slightly parted as if she were in awe, her doe eyes focused intently on the page as if it were an essay to read. He could get lost in her features.
"Huh?" He replied absentmindedly.
"You said Rainy Day was the first one you'd done in a while...why did you ever stop? You clearly have a talent," she asked without accusation, only pure curiosity in her tone.
"It was a combination of things. Growing up I loved to draw, I loved to paint and see a form come to life. But in my family...there just isn't any room for artists when you come from a family like mine, and you're the eldest male child, like me. I was groomed for Stanford, and then the Navy, and then politics. My father basically berated me until I was ashamed to show my work. Said it wasn't becoming of a Grant man. After I graduated from college and did my stint in the navy, it just didn't have its same allure. It felt trivial...childish. Even when it was just me alone with the canvas, I felt self conscious. It wasn't natural anymore. I started things, and didn't finish...until eventually I just didn't start anything anymore."
She continued flipping through his book, "What inspired you to start back up again?"
"Failed political campaign...divorce...people I thought I could trust betrayed me. I needed an outlet. And out came Rainy Day. Now, I can't shake the habit. I spend a lot of time in my study, just seeing where it goes. Some of its good, some not so good...Do you like art?"
"I love art," she said passionately, "when I was 10, I got a book about Viennese art in the 20th century, and I became completely obsessed with Gustav Klimt. The summer before my mom died she took me to Vienna...we went to the Belvedere and saw The Kiss in person...it was amazing," she said with a faraway look in her eyes.
"That sounds awesome. Unforgettable. Do you like to paint?"
She chuckled, "I'm not very good at it."
"Well maybe that's the problem," he offered, "you can't paint intention, you can only paint feeling. You shouldn't worry about being good. I, uh, just picked up some new paints and canvases...wanna give it a try?"
"That sounds like fun! I'd love to!" she said jumping up, excited.
He laughed at her enthusiasm, "Okay, let me get you some throw away clothes so you don't ruin your stuff. I don't know if I really have anything that fits you, but i need to stop by Target tomorrow anyway, so I'll find something decent for tonight and we can get something better tomorrow. While you're changing, I'm gonna go make some coffee. Would you like some tea, or coffee, or something?"
"Sure, I'll have some coffee."
* * *
Olivia changed and met Fitz in his study where he showed her all of his tools. He had what seemed like a million paintbrushes and he showed her the different effects that each of them were capable of producing. He brought out cool and warm color palettes for her to choose frommand set her canvas so she could work. They talked a little as they worked, but Olivia found herself enthralled with process, so much so that she didn't even realize what she was making until she was almost finished.
She was startled to hear his voice behind her, "Gee Liv, I thought you said you weren't any good? This is pretty cool," he complimented her.
She chuckled, "I'm not, but I guess it didn't come out too badly. I really got lost in it just like you said. I never even knew I could paint perspective."
Her trees were kind of abstract, but the mountain and rocks against the sky and the sun were kind of realistic.
"Yeah, this is really good. What place is this supposed to be?" he asked.
"This old hiking spot back in Ohio. My cousin Harrison and I used to run away on our bikes there all the time in high school."
He stepped closer, "What were you guys running away from?"
She paused, "My uncle, I guess...he was pretty cruel."
"Cruel, like how?" he didnt like the sound of him.
"A drunk...violent...a creep," she said softly. Her eyes were pasted to the canvas, and she seemed tense.
"Is that why you don't go back for the holidays?" he couldn't help but ask.
"Yeah..." she breathed in deeply and turned around, "I'm a little tired though. I think I'm done painting for the night. Wanna watch a little tv or something?"
Fitz understood; she didn't want to talk about it any further and he wouldn't push. He knew she would open up if and when she was ready.
Fitz looked at his watch, "I didn't even realize we'd been at it for so long. Sure. I'm gonna have a little tea, chamomile helps me relax, care for some?"
Minutes later they were retreating into the bedroom with their steaming mugs of chamomile tea. Fitz flopping onto the chaise and Olivia slipping into the expansive bed. He flipped through the hundreds of channels, stopping when she asked him to leave it on Family Guy. He tried to follow Peter's shenanigans, but found himself drifting in and out of consciousness. After about a half an hour, he decided to stop fighting sleep and turn in for the night. He stood up groggily and walked over to the bed to leave the remote control for her.
As he dropped the controller, he felt her hand wrap around his wrist, "Where are you going?" a soft voice asked.
He smiled down at her in the darkness, "I'm pretty beat, I think I'm going to go lay down."
"Oh..." Olivia hesitated, "Were you going to sleep on the love seat?"
"Yep."
"Oh...you don't have to do that, you know," she said leaning up on her elbows, "this bed is pretty big...There's more than enough room for the both of us."
Fitz swallowed uncomfortably, "Are you sure? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"It's fine...I trust you," she smiled, looking up at him earnestly.
Fitz smiled as she rolled over to make room for him and he slid into the bed, trying to relax into a comfortable position, but finding none. Minutes later, he heard her soft even breathing, which indicated that she was asleep. His body was tired, but his mind was racing a mile a minute at the thought of Olivia being so close, in his bed.
_I'm just gonna sleep on the couch, clearly I can't handle this_, Fitz resigned himself. Just as he was going to get up, he felt her leg fall over his and his anxiety lessened a bit. He wished he could hold her, but the feeling of her leg on his would have to be enough for now.
Moments later he was drifting into sleep.
* * *
The next morning after they woke up, the two grabbed a quick breakfast and headed to Target. Initially, Fitz just intended to pick up his medicated lotion and Olivia was there for a few toiletries, but somehow they ended up going up and down each aisle. He decided to grab a few groceries instead of ordering out for dinner, and then saw a few tools he could use for some household projects. Olivia also helped him pick out a few shelves and organizational fixtures for what remained in his unpacked boxes. What was to be a quick trip turned into two hours at Target, but they were in no rush, and truly enjoying each other's company.
When they got back, Olivia had an idea, "Hey, I wouldn't mind helping you unpack some of these boxes and put stuff away, if you want," she offered.
"Aww you don't have to do that, it's gonna be pretty tedious."
"I like organizing things...and it looks like you could use the help," Olivia gestured towards the boxes.
Fitz laughed, "You know what, I think I will take you up on that offer. I don't know when's the next time I might get some help around here. Since you just helped me pick out a cool book case, and I happen to have an overwhelming amount of books, maybe we could start there?"
"Awesome, I always wanted to be a librarian," she joked.
The two set down to work and within three hours the majority of the library was organized and up on the shelf. They were putting the last of the books on the shelf, when she decided to take a shower and change and he decided he would go after her.
Fitz was in the bathroom in his basketball shorts, standing in front of the mirror. Olivia was watching tv in his bedroom, so he made sure to keep the door completely closed. He reached for his medicinal lotion and began to apply it his chest. His skin was having a hard time adjusting to the harsh, dry, winter of the east coast, so he had to apply this topical solution twice a week after a shower. God was it a pain. The solution itself was super oily and slippery, so he was always dropping the bottle in between turns applying it to his body. It was a super awkward process.
He picked up the bottle again to get another handful to rub on his left calf which felt extra dry after his shower. But as he went to put the bottle back down, it slipped out of his grasp, wildly spinning in the air. With his luck, of course it knocked over the only glass bottle on the counter, sending it crashing onto the tiled floor. He cursed loudly as it smashed into pieces among the tiles.
"Shit, and of course I'm not wearing any shoes. Damn it," he cursed the stupid bottle and his dry skin.
There was a knock on door, and then it cracked open.
"Are you okay in here?" she looked around to see what had made the racket, her eyes finding the broken glass on the floor.
"Um, I think I can manage," he said in a tone that indicated otherwise.
"Don't be silly," she said coming in, seeming not to take notice of his lack of clothes, "have an extra towel?" He grabbed one off the rack and passed it to her. She knelt down and began to clean up the mess.
"You don't have to do that," he said moving to stop her.
She gave him a look, "It's okay, I don't mind." She picked up the glass in the towel and dumped it in the trash can.
"Looks like you need a little help with that," she said grabbing the bottle from the floor.
"It's kind of hard for me," he said chuckling, "I got most of my chest and back area though."
She bent down and started working the lotion into his right calf and he had to bite back a moan. The feeling of her lithe fingers dragging across his skin was short circuiting his brain.
_Does she even know what she's doing to me?_
She moved her hands up to slightly above his knee, and then moved to his left leg. She stood, bringing her palms across his back, eliciting a slight involuntary shiver. Moving her hands in small semi circles up his back until she reached his shoulder blades, and then down along his biceps. She motioned for him to raise his arms so she could rub the solution along his inner arm and along his ribcage. He reveled in her touch, trying to commit each micro-sensation to his memory. He could feel himself growing harder with each stroke. He knew he should feel ashamed, but he was enjoying the feeling too much. He never wanted her to stop.
_She doesn't even know anyway,_ he told himself. He would just be sure to let her leave the bathroom first, and come out when he was decent.
There was only a small space between him and the counter top, so it would give his growing hardness some camouflage. He felt her hands slow, and then stop, much to his chagrin. He watched her reflection in the mirror as she stepped back, checking her work to see if she applied the lotion evenly. She stepped closer again, raising his left arm, and then right, to make sure it was all set there as well. She peeked her head through his raised arm to determine how well he'd done in applying it to his chest.
"Looks like you missed a spot," she said sliding into the small space between him and the countertop. Her body was flush against his, and he could feel the blood rushing to his member. He closed his eyes again, unable to look at her; he knew she could feel his pulsating member as it was pressed against her lower stomach, which served only to turn him on more. She spread the solution on her fingers over his collar bone, and he couldn't hold back his moan when she brought her fingertips down ever so slowly across his nipples. He put his hands over hers to stop her; he knew for sure he couldn't bear any more of her touch. He needed her to move, and quickly.
"Olivia," he rasped in a breathy tone, "I-," he couldn't find the words, but he finally found the strength to make eye contact. They stood there for a moment that felt like forever, and he let her hands go, but she didn't move from him. She placed her hands behind her on the counter, and slid onto it, never breaking eye contact, and cocking her legs slightly open. He stepped into her, placing one hand lightly on her face, watching her eyes carefully for uncertainty or fear, and finding none. He wanted to kiss her badly, but he needed to know he was reading the signs right; he needed to know she wanted him, too. "Liv, please...say something," he pleaded, their noses grazing, and the soft feel of her cheek against his palm was driving him crazy. He could hear her breathing quicken, and then he felt her legs wrapping around his.
"Kiss me," she whispered, and he was happy to oblige her. His lips crashed into hers like a hurricane making landfall, the pressure of her hands in his hair increased the intensity of their kiss. He looped his arms through hers, til his hands found hard surface underneath and used the granite countertop to steady himself. He used his tongue to trace, taste and tease her soft lips that had been the objects of his desire for so long. She tightened her legs around his and he ground himself into her middle. He removed his hands from the cold counter onto her warm thighs, rubbing up and down her skin and squeezing her smoothness. He couldn't believe he had her in his arms.
Running his hands upwards, his fingers found her waist. He began running his thumbs along the waistband of her shorts, the pads of his fingers grazing the sensitive area beneath the elastic. He couldn't stop his hands from traveling down and cupping her ass underneath the fabric of her shorts.
Then he was lifting her up, the need to feel all of her against him overwhelming his thoughts. He felt her hips move in small circles against his cock through his shorts, and the sensation of his throbbing member was sending shocks through his body. He backed them up out of the bathroom into the bedroom, and laid her on the bed, finally breaking their kiss, her legs still tight about his hips. He pulled back and looked down at her; it was as if kissing her made his desire increase tenfold. Her eyes were still closed, and he kissed her again, softly this time. _She trusts you_, his conscience whispered, _don't take advantage._ He slid one hand into hers, and wrapped one firmly around her waist, flipping them over so that she was now laying on top of him.
"Olivia," he whispered, and she looked in his eyes.
"I just want you to know...there's no pressure. We don't have to go any further than this...I'm content to just kiss you." He wanted nothing more than to be inside of her, to feel her surrounding him, but he didn't want to rush things.
She ran her finger along his jaw and kissed his neck, "I trust you Fitz."
9. Precipice
"Olivia," Fitz whispered, and she looked into his eyes.
"I just want you to know...there's no pressure. We don't have to go any further than this...I'm content to just kiss you." He wanted nothing more than to be inside of her, to feel her surrounding him, but he also really didn't want to rush things.
She ran her finger along his jaw and kissed his neck, "I trust you, Fitz."
"I trust you too, Olivia," he replied kissing her forehead, "I just don't want you to regret this later."
She looked up at him for a moment, kissed him and nodded, "Okay."
_You're doing the right thing Fitz_, he told himself as he sighed.
"I should put some clothes on," he mused, more to himself than to her. Olivia moved to let him up but he tightened his hold around her waist and she looked up at him.
"One minute?" he asked, responding to the question in her eyes. She nodded, and laid her head back on his chest. One minute turned into five, which turned into ten, until he felt the even rise and fall of her chest peacefully against his. She was asleep. Fitz smiled to himself, _I could get used to this_.
_No, you cannot_, his conscience shot back, _she's your **student**. What kind of relationship could you possibly **truly** have?_
Fitz sighed as that one thought set his mind to racing. He tried to fight off the negative train of thought, but he couldn't avoid the truth of the matter. He would be risking a lot if this went any further. No, he would be risking **everything**. He could, no he _would_, lose his job if anyone found out about his indiscretion with a student.
_And then where will you be?_ Fitz's conscious chided him. He couldn't go crawling back to daddy after this. This type of scandal would ruin his professional reputation; it would follow him everywhere. It would prove everything that his father had said about him was true; that he was a man-child, completely incapable of controlling his childlike desires.
Fitz gazed down at her resting peacefully on his chest and felt terrible. He wanted nothing more than to keep her here, with him, however the logical part of him told him that it was for the best that she was leaving tomorrow.
_It's not too late to sweep this thing under the rug,_ his conscience urged him, _drop her off tomorrow and leave it be. It's for the best - yours **and** hers._
Fitz closed his eyes and tried to rest.
* * *
Fitz awoke a couple of hours later when he felt Olivia begin to stir against him. She saw him open his eyes and ran her fingers through his hair, causing his heart to flutter.
"Hi beautiful," he whispered.
"Hi handsome, I'm hungry," she grinned at him.
"I picked up some groceries earlier when we went to Target. I can make you something," he offered, running his thumb across her bottom lip.
"What are you going to make?" Olivia asked with a raised eyebrow.
"It's a surprise," he replied with a small smile.
"Oh god, I'm scared," she teased, laughing, "but okay. Is it alright if I take a shower quick?"
"Of course."
* * *
While Olivia showered, Fitz decided to make pasta primavera and was pleased when it turned out better than he expected based upon his last go at it. When the pair were finished eating he suggested that they could choose a movie from his personal collection to watch.
Fitz turned on the light in the walk in closet of his study and pulled five large boxes down off of the shelf.
"You mean to tell me that **all** of these boxes are filled with DVDs?" Olivia asked incredulously.
"Yep, it's kind of an obsession. I honestly haven't even watched a quarter of them yet, but I can never seem to resist buying more when I'm at the store. There's some good stuff in here, though," he explained.
The couple opened up each of the boxes together, with Olivia poking fun at him along the way for all the cheesy 80's movies that dominated his collection. They were half way through the third box, when Fitz realized that the bottom half was filled with board games.
"I wonder where _these_ came from," he wondered aloud, "I don't remember packing them."
"You have good taste in board games, at the least," Olivia teased, "I love Scrabble!"
"Oh really?" Fitz raised an eyebrow, "Me too. Are you any good?"
"The _best_," she answered smugly.
He chuckled, "Pretty arrogant there! How do you know you're the best if you've never played _me_?"
"Arrogance implies _false_ confidence. I've never lost. Don't make me embarrass you," Olivia warned playfully.
He threw his head back with laughter, "Okay, now we're **definitely** playing! Forget the movie!"
She stood, grabbing the boxed game under arm, "Al-_right_, don't say I never warned you. I hope you don't expect me to take it easy on you," she said with a wink.
* * *
Forty minutes later, Olivia was beating Fitz mercilessly. The game had started out evenly enough, and he had even taken the lead for a couple of rounds, thinking that he had the game in the bag when he drew the 'Z' and 'Q' letter tiles successively. _Wrong_.
Somehow, Liv was able to use his own letters against _him _and expertly force him to open up the triple word spaces for her. Fitz was pretty much exasperated because her last move had put her ahead of him by over ninety points.
"Jesus, Liv, what are you, some kind of Scrabble prodigy, or something?" he asked laughing.
"Maaayyybe," she replied coquettishly.
Fitz shook his head as he grabbed the letter bag to replenish his empty tile rack and let out an audible groan when he drew all vowels and one 'R'. "Oh god, I give up," he threw his hands in the air playfully, "this game is rigged. There's _no way_ I can catch up now."
Olivia was laying on her stomach looking at her tiles, but she rose into a sitting position at that, "Come on Fitz, I didn't take you for a quitter!"
He raised his eyebrows at that, "What did you say?"
"I saiddddd-" Olivia started, but before she knew it, Fitz was pulling her into his lap over the board and his lips were pressed against hers. As his tongue wrapped around hers, Fitz forgot about the game momentarily. He felt Olivia's arms snake around his neck and her fingers running through his hair as she repositioned herself to straddle him.
Fitz dropped his hands to her ass and squeezed it firmly before slipping his hands up beneath her shirt. He began fingering lazy circles on her back before breaking their kiss to remove her top.
As his lips met hers again, Fitz felt the weight of her hands on against shoulders, pushing him down onto the floor and her tiny hands pinning his wrists to the ground. Olivia pulled back to gaze at him for a second with a mischievous smile and then kissed him again, first on his lips, then his cheek and then his neck.
"Say it," she whispered, nibbling his earlobe.
"Hmm?" Fitz groaned back breathily, "Say what?" He was already lost in her again, his mind too hazy to think clearly.
"I win, fair and square, _say it," _she urged him.
He chuckled, slipping his fingers onto the nape of her neck and pulling her down for another kiss. Fitz wrapped his other hand tightly around her waist and flipped them over so that he was now in control. He grabbed Olivia's wrists and placed them above her head, holding them in place with one hand.
"No fair," she laughed, wriggling beneath him. He looked at her with hooded eyes, wondering if he had ever felt as alive as he did right now.
Fitz leaned down and kissed her gently, his voice serious, "Olivia Pope, **you win,**" he said kissing her again, more intensely now. She kissed him back, teasing and biting his bottom lip. He moved his free hand to her back, quickly snapping off the bra that was obstructing his touch.
Olivia's eyes were closed, but she opened them when she felt her bra rip away, leaving her nude from the waist up. She searched Fitz's face and found desire in his eyes. She had always felt a little self conscious of her body; growing up, she was always small and petite, and puberty had not changed that too much. Although her body did develop some curves, Olivia had always felt that she didn't have the kind of body that men fantasized about, however here in this moment, she couldn't find in it herself to be self conscious, not with the way he was looking at her. In that very moment, every insecurity she had ever had faded away and all she could register in her mind was her want, no her **need**, for Fitz.
As if he could sense her thoughts, Fitz released his grip from her wrists and trailed his hands down to her breasts. He repositioned himself between her legs, leaning down to kiss her on the lips first, then her collarbone, until he reached the valley between her breasts. Fitz kissed his way down and then brought his tongue back up against the sensitive skin there as his fingers pinched her nipples, working them between his fingertips and kissing the side of her right breast, eliciting a throaty moan from Olivia.
He moved his hands to her hips to hold her steady while taking her left breast wholly in his mouth. Fitz pulled at her hardened nipple between his teeth, ever gently at first, and then with increasing pressure. Switching between soft and rough nibbles, Olivia's hips began to move beneath him to the sensation causing the hardness between his legs to intensify. The sensation of her hips swiveling slightly against his cock caused Fitz to moan involuntarily.
He trailed kisses back up her chest to her lips, moving his hands down between her legs as he rubbed gently on the outside of the fabric first, using his knuckles to cause friction against her mound. Fitz slipped his hands beneath the hem of her yoga pants, but over her small lace panties, cupping her lower lips so he could feel her heat in his palm. The feel of his hand there must of turned her on even more because within seconds she was dripping wet in his palm. Unable to resist, he used his fingers to slide her panties to the side, and inserted a single finger into her slippery opening.
"Fitz," Olivia moaned, emboldening him to go deeper. He felt her walls close tightly around his individual digit as he eased it in gently, using his thumb to simultaneously stimulate her clit. Fitz moved his mouth back to her right breast and she bucked against him.
He needed to taste her.
Removing his finger slowly, Fitz used his hands to hold her in place as he kissed his way down her stomach to below her navel. He pulled her thin pants down slowly, placing his mouth over all of the areas that the disappearing pants had left exposed until his face was buried in between her thighs. "_Sweet baby_," Fitz moaned as he licked his fingers and continued kissing her thighs and then slipped his tongue between her folds.
He flicked his tongue over Olivia's spot and before he could go any further he felt her trembling in his arms, her sweet nectar like a torrential downpour over his tongue and nose. Fitz sucked at her hungrily until her body stopped shaking, in awe of how little was necessary to take her over the edge.
He raised himself up to look at her, moving his hand to cup her cheek. Her lip was trembling. "Are you okay," he asked, barely above a whisper. She nodded, and he slipped his arms under her shoulders, flipping them over again, so that she was laying on his chest. Fitz wrapped his arms around her possesively and kissed her forehead gently, all his earlier preoccupations erased.
There **was** no going back from here. With the taste of her now on his lips, there could be no one else for him. Nor for her either, he hoped. There was no way Fitz could just let her leave tomorrow and pretend that things hadn't drastically changed, not now that his body and mind had known her.
* * *
The next morning he awoke before she did. He looked down at her sleeping peacefully in his arms, smirking to himself as he thought of how he had worn her out. He eased out of the bed, as not to wake her, and decided to try his hand at breakfast.
He remembered her mentioning that she preferred french toast over pancakes, so he decided on that for a start. Next, he chose bacon over sausage, because it was his favorite, but he found himself indecisive over the eggs. He figured he'd let his omelette maker do most of the work, and leave out some stuff so she could choose the toppings for herself. He was in the groove of cooking when he felt petite arms wrap around his waist.
He kissed the top of her head, "Good morning."
"Morning," she replied, her eyes fixed on the skillet, "you're making French toast," she said excitedly.
"Yeah, you said it's your fave, right?"
"You remembered," she said kissing his shoulder, "Can I help?"
"For sure."
They worked around each other, him frying the bacon and making mounds of french toast in spite of her numerous exclamations that they would never finish it all. He was flipping the last of the bacon when he looked over and saw her struggling with the omelette machine. He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and uttering the words that had changed everything between them,"Looks like you need some help with that," he said kissing the crook of her neck.
"Yeah, I'm having a hard time," she replied laughing.
He squeezed her waist and then picked her up, setting her on the counter.
He slipped his hands into hers and looked at her longingly, "So I guess we have to go pick up your keycard today, huh," saying the words they had both been avoiding.
"Yeah," she said quietly, not looking at him.
He kissed her cheek, "What are you going to do back at your house?"
"Probably nothing, try to finish up that paper for Cyrus."
"Oh," he said quietly, neither of them saying anything for awhile.
"Stay with me," he whispered.
"Hmm?" she replied, not sure if she had heard him correctly.
"I said, stay with me," more confident this time, looking in her eyes.
"Fitz...I want to...," she started softly.
"But?" he said, filling in the word that was hanging in the air.
"But...I don't want to overstay my welcome...I'm sure you want your space back," she said unsure, giving him a chance to change his mind.
"Liv...don't...please...," he started, not sure of what to say. He stood up straight and took her face in his hands,"Olivia the past couple days, with you here, have been absolutely amazing. This has been the most this house has felt like a home to me, since I moved in here four months ago. If you have things you want to do back on campus, that's fine, no sweat...But if you're worried about overstaying your welcome, please, don't. I _want_ you here," he said kissing her nose.
She smiled at him, "I want to stay."
And there were no 'buts' this time.
* * *
Edison sat in his car considering his options. The lights were finally on. He wasn't sure if he should take an apologetic approach, or if he should continue in his headstrong fashion. His recent attempts had been stonewalled, and the gifts had hindered, instead of helping, his situation. He wasn't sure why, but he couldn't, no **wouldn't**, let this go.
_How could **she** reject **me**?_ he wondered to himself in disbelief. _Shit, she should consider herself damn lucky someone of my stature would even look her way, let alone court her in the respectable fashion I've tried to. So ungrateful._
He had spent too much time, money and energy on this investment called Olivia Pope to just walk away now. He was going to get his due return one way or the other, he just wasn't sure how.
He had been on campus since January 9th, a day before he had informed her he would be, in order to have the element of surprise. Well imagine _his_ surprise, when he visited her on campus apartment to find no one home. The Olivia he knew was always home. He had waited hours after he knew the library, and every other respectably studious location on campus, had been long closed. Still no Olivia. He had come by each day after that, at all hours imaginable, trying to catch her. But **still**, she wasn't home. Something was wrong. He knew how Olivia operated, or at least he thought he did. She never went home for break, so where could she possibly be?
Something was telling him some other man was involved.
_That's not a problem, I'll take care of him, too,_ he comforted himself.
She had tried to escape from him in the form of another man before: Alex. He chuckled to himself thinking of their altercation. After he had walked in on their make out session he was livid, but he figured it might be _just_ the leverage he needed to close the deal. He knew if he played on her sense of loyalty, she would concede. He had made her, after all, and she owed him. Emboldened by their kiss, he had confronted Alex afterward.
He still remembered his exact words,"Sorry bro, I tried not to act on it, I really did. But I like her...and she likes me. I even _asked_ her, Edison, I made sure. She said there was nothing between you guys...There are other girls, Edison," he'd said, noticing the glare on his face. "It's not the end of the world. If you really cared for her, you'd want her to be happy," he given him the spiel earnestly.
He had chuckled at that. How could he really think he would give up what was his so easily?
"Listen Alex, I'm gonna forget what happened here tonight," he had said genially.
"Seriously?" he'd responded in disbelief.
"I sure am. And so are you. As a matter of fact, all three of us are gonna pretend that the utter betrayal that I walked in on here tonight, didn't occur."
"Why would we do that?" he'd asked, genuinely confused.
"I know why _I'm_ gonna do it. Do you mean why are _you_ going to do it?"
"Well...yeah."
"Because if you don't, there will be consequences. See, you might have everyone else around here fooled, but I see right through you, Alexander. You're not the clean cut, shining scholar, that everyone thinks you are, isn't that right? Now here's what you're going to do: you're going to ignore Olivia. If you run into her, tell her that you and Margaret got back together. Tell her that you're becoming a monk. Shit, tell her you're gay for all I care, but by no means are you to have any further communication with her."
"And if I do?"
"If you do, I'll make sure Evan Marks, you know, the guy you buy Adderrall and boomers from, every Thursday? I'll make sure he gets **very** busted. And I'll make sure his **very** VIP customer list gets **very** leaked. And I bet your name is right at the top of the list, isn't it? There goes that dream of being a Supreme Court Justice. Hmmm...and I wonder how your Narc of a father would feel, once he finds out?"
He saw understanding and then anger pass over Alex's face, "Edison...you **wouldn't**! Over a fucking chick?! Dude, what the hell is _wrong_ with you?"
"I'm a Davis man," he had stated simply, "and I **always** get what I want, Alex. No exceptions. Now get out of my fucking way," he'd growled, "or get run over. It's your choice. I've given you fair warning."
_And that had taken care of that_, he thought with a smile.
He came back to the present. For twelve long days, he had watched and waited, and now, the lights were on. It was two days before most of the student body was to return to campus, so he was pretty certain it wasn't one of her housemates.
He decided to play his approach by ear, not willing to waste any more time.
He knocked and heard feet scrambling to the door, and then it swung open.
"Edison, what are _you_ doing here?" a happy voice greeted him.
"Oh, hi Abby! I wasn't expecting you, what are you doing back so early?" he asked, trying to hide his annoyance, "I'm back early for the Leadership Institute, I'm a mentor."
"Ohhh okay. Welllll, don't just stand in the doorway, come on in," she waved him in, and he followed her into the kitchen, "I'm an RA, remember? So I'm back early to help the people who are moving units and those coming back from abroad."
"I forgot you're on staff," he said as she poured a glass of wine.
_The jesus juice must be why she's in such a chipper mood_, he noted as she gulped down the glass, "Is Olivia home?"
"No, and you know, I haven't seen her since I got back last night. Which is weird, considering that she's on the list of students who stayed over winter break. Wonder where she could be," she wondered aloud, filling and sipping her chalice greedily. "Would you like some wine?" she asked, pouring him a glass before he could give a definitive answer, then added, "You know, I don't know about that girl sometimes."
"Sure, I'll have a glass...and what do you mean by that?" he would make sure not to have more than a couple of glasses; he wanted to keep his wits about him. He would let her drink and talk some more though, since she seemed lonely and desperate. He was upset at first to find Abby here instead of Olivia, but some quick calculations told him that if he played his cards right, she might be of some use to him.
"I don't know Edison," she began, "and don't tell her we talked about this, but I just hate the way she treats you. She's lucky to have a stand up guy pursuing her so steadily. Most girls don't have that kind of luck. It just seems like everyone wants to know Olivia, they're just **dying** to get into her good graces. But have you ever noticed, she doesn't bother wanting to know anyone? I mean, we've been living with each other since Freshman year, and I honestly couldn't tell you three personal things about her. I tell her so much about myself, but she keeps me at arm's length. Sometimes, I wonder if she even _likes_ me, or if us living together is just convenient for her," she said throwing back another glass.
This was his moment, he decided, so he turned on the charm, "You know Abby, something tells me, it's not you, it's her. Olivia is just emotionally stunted. Arrested development, if you will," he said sipping his wine thoughtfully. "Her mom died when she was young, you know. Sometimes I think she just needs someone to show her what love is...but other times I feel like I'm wasting my efforts. I'm a good guy, I deserve better than how she treats me."
She gulped down the rest of her glass, and poured another, "You really do Edison. You're handsome. You're smart. Your family has stature. Honestly, you're too good for her," she said, giving him a look he was all too familiar with.
_This is going to be easier than taking candy from a baby_, he smirked to himself.
"Abby, Olivia said she would leave a box for me, have you seen it?"
"Yeah, it's in the living room, follow me," she said grabbing the bottle of wine and walking into the living room. There was a large cardboard box with his name on it, and inside were all the gifts he had sent to her over the semester. He was peeved to see that many of them were left unopened. He grabbed the one he was looking for, recognizing the box, and opened it to find the tennis bracelet intact.
Abby looked into his palm and exclaimed, "Wowwww, that's absolutely _beautiful_! You mean to tell me she didn't want _that_?"
"Nope. She bit my head off on Christmas for sending it to her," he shook his head and put on a hurt look, "Can you _believe_ that?"
"How ungrateful...I would **never** be so rude," she said, giving him a seductive look and sipping the wine straight from the bottle.
He took the bracelet out of the box and grabbed her wrist, "I'm _such_ a fool Abby. All these years I've spent chasing an _ingrate_ like her, I should have been pursuing for a **woman,** like you. You've been a better friend to me tonight, than she's been in the last three years I've known her," he laid it on thick. He moved to wrap the bracelet around her freckled wrist, and she gasped, "For _me_, Edison?"
"Yes, I want you to have it. You deserve it."
She placed the bottle on the ground beside her, and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You know Edison, you don't have to keep waiting around for her...It's not too late for us."
He smiled, and kissed her passionately, "Take me to your room," he commanded. She grabbed his hand and led him up the winding stairs. She pulled out her keycard to unlock her room door, and he took note of the code, _6748_, he committed to memory. She led him to the bed and sat him down on the edge. She immediately knelt before him, unzipping his pants and taking him in her mouth. She worked enthusiastically, doing a much better job than he expected.
He closed his eyes and imagined she was Olivia, until he felt himself near his precipice. He grabbed her hair when he felt himself nearing the edge, "Stand," he ordered her. Edison stood up and moved behind her, placing his hand in the small of her back to stretch her over the bed. He pulled her shorts and panties down to find her wet already, and began moving his fingers back and forth across her clit methodically. She moaned emphatically and he pulled her hair back so he could whisper in her ear, "Are you on birth control?"
"Yeah, I'm on the pill," she whispered back in a tone that attempted to be seductive.
He pushed her head forward and rammed himself inside of her without reservation. He stroked at a steady peace before closing his eyes again, trying to return to his earlier fantasy. However she was screaming his name extra loudly, interrupting his ability to disengage.
_I wish she would cut the fucking dramatics_, he thought, _I know it's not **that** good. I'm not even trying right now._
She seemed to enjoy the roughness, so he wrapped his hand around her mouth, muffling her shouts. He was able to concentrate enough reach his peak, "Ugh", he grumbled before pulling out and releasing on her backside. She mumbled incoherently before getting up to hand him a towel.
"You should stay," she said in a dreamy tone, "I'm sure you're tired...you shouldn't drive all fatigued."
_She's walking right into my plan_, he thought happily.
"You're right, and it'd be my pleasure to stay with you tonight," he said, playing ever the gentleman. He took off his pants and rolled into the bed. She rolled over to his side of the bed, laying one hand on his chest, "So what does this mean...for us?" she looked at him intently.
_She doesn't waste any time, this one_, he thought to himself.
"I like you Abby...tonight was special for me, and I hope it was for you, too. I hope this means we will be spending more time together."
"You mean that? You want **me**...?..._Not_ Olivia?" she asked hopefully.
_She is either hopelessly insecure, or hopelessly jealous_, he thought, unable to decide which one was worse. He suppressed his disgust, _This is a means to an end Edison, you don't have to marry the girl._
He leaned down and kissed her tenderly, "That's exactly what this means." She kissed him back passionately, reaching her hand down between his thighs to arouse him again. She swung a leg over him, positioning herself in order to lower herself onto him.
She rode him emphatically, but he was disinterested at this point. He pretended to enjoy it, but for the most part, he let her do her business until she tired out. After she had worked herself into a frenzy, she rolled back onto her side of the bed and fell asleep.
* * *
He had waited until her breathing had remained even for a full 20 minutes before slipping out of the bed and down the hall. He stopped outside of Olivia's door, tapping lightly in case she had come in quietly during the night. When there was no response, he turned the door knob. Locked. _Fuck_, he grumbled.
Then he remembered.
Abby was the RA. Her keycard had master access, and he had watched her closely while she punched in the code. He slipped back down the hall into her room, checking first to make sure she was still asleep, before grabbing the card off of the nightstand and heading back down the hall.
He swiped the card into the slot, watching the lights flicker green and then red, awaiting the access code to grant entry to the treasures inside. _6-7-4-8_. A wide smile spread across his face when the lights flickered green, and he heard the door unlock for him.
He entered the dark room, closing the door quietly behind him, not sure exactly what he was looking for. He sat on her bed, and then laid back onto her pillow, smelling it. It smelled of laundry detergent, not her personal scent that he had memorized, so he determined she hadn't slept on it since last doing laundry.
He rose from the bed, crossing the room to her closet. He browsed through her clothes until he saw a small box that stood out beneath some shoe boxes. He opened it and found expensive looking jewelry, and a small photograph book. He opened it up and flipped through the pictures, admiring the images of what had to be a young Olivia and her mother. In the back, was a number of loose pictures of head shots. From the watermark, and the attire, he determined them to be the photographer's copies of her high school year book photos. He slipped one into his pocket, and put the book and box back.
He moved over to her dresser now, opening each one slowly to reveal its contents. He stopped at a drawer that contained her undergarments, his eyes drawn to the lacy underwear and bras. He immediately found himself hard. He ran his fingers over the crotch of a sexy black pair, imagining it against her skin. He moved his hand to his boxers and released himself, unable to ignore his erection any longer. He brought the underwear to his nose, and rubbed them along his length, feeling himself lose control until he released into the underwear. Feeling relieved, he decided to get out of there before he was caught. But not before grabbing a pair of peach satin underwear.
"Just for memory's sake," he whispered, smiling to himself.
* * *
**A/N: Hey guys, thank for for all the kind reviews! I really appreciate it! I know my mind can be kinda twisted sometimes, but it's all in the plan lol. Isn't Edison's creep meter on 1000 right now? And Abby is a piece of work, too! How do you think Liv will react to Edison and Abby being together? I'll try to update again within the next couple of days!**
**ETA: don't worry, Edison has gone on kind of unchecked for awhile now, he is going to get his just desserts! I promise.**
10. Ohana
Fitz was sitting in front of his computer pounding away at his keyboard in the dim green light of the small overhead lamp. He was typing furiously in an effort to get the words out of his head before they escaped him. His assortment of notes and papers were spread about haphazardly on the desk, and his mind was moving a mile a minute.
He had been sleeping soundly, his body intertwined comfortably with Olivia's, when the breakthrough he had been longing for jumped out at him in the middle of his dream. Like a man possessed, he woke up seized by the idea, gently untangling himself and moving silently down the hall to his study in order to get the idea down before it was lost. He intended to return right back to bed, but that initial idea inspired a whole new train of thought, and had been working steadfastly for the past thirty-five minutes.
It was 5:47 am. He had barely slept for more than three hours but it didn't feel like it to Fitz. This had been occurring quite frequently for the past few weeks; for some reason his best ideas seemed to be coming to him in his dreams lately, lightning bolts imploding his writing with vigour, and his superiors had taken notice.
Although the students were on break for over a month, he still had responsibilities to the city council. The fiscal deadline was coming up soon, and everyone was lobbying for bigger budgets, so there was a lot of work to be done. He found the work to be tedious at first, mostly semantics and bipartisan bickering amongst the council people, conservatives versus liberals, standard stuff. But lately he had been gaining more respect and responsibility within the organization, his tasks increasing in complexity and and intrigue, so he found himself enjoying it more and more.
He had been doing such an impressive job over the past few weeks, that he had been asked to work with the mayor's speech writing committee. He was on cloud nine professionally, and he had a feeling it had something to do with how fulfilled he felt personally. He had always been the kind of person who had doubted the transformative power of love, trivializing it as a function of movies and romance novels. He never believed it could happen to him. With his father always meddling in his personal affairs, deciding who and who wasn't an appropriate accessory for his heirs, Fitz found little fun in dating.
Although he'd had relationships with women outside of his father's preference, he still had never found that spark, that connection that he couldn't live without. He sublimated that desire for true love into a passion for politics, resigning himself to his fate as his father's vassal. This included allowing himself to go along with a plan that required him to pledge his life and love for all eternity to a woman he could barely stand, in pursuit of political power and prestige.
_What a fool I was._ Where he was at mentally this very moment though, not even Mellie's hateful self could bring him down, and believe she was trying. Fitz knew that it was burning her up inside that he had pulled himself out of her and his father's clutches, and he wasn't failing. He was making it on his own, in spite of how many times he had been told he couldn't do it.
When he had first gotten to his desk, he thought to check his work email before setting down to write, and was irritated to see that he had received yet another message from her, this one labeled **Final Notice.** He had chortled when he read that. If anyone needed a final notice, it was _her_. Since he was able to produce evidence of her affair, he had her by the balls in divorce court and thus was awarded the majority of his demands. All of which were fair, but Mellie was never satisfied. Her insatiable ambition, always a hunger for more burning within her, that was what made her a great candidate to be a political wife, the backbone of a prestigious powerhouse. Mellie wasn't looking for love, she wanted power, and she was more than willing to lie, cheat and steal for what she wanted. He had been naive enough to believe that since they were on the same team she wouldn't use those tactics against him, and how wrong he had been.
She managed to lie, cheat and steal from him, all in the four short years of their marriage, and even after being exposed she still had the gall to ask for more. It was almost unbelievable to Fitz how little shame she lacked the good sense to possess. Since the moment she realized he was not backing down concerning the divorce she had been after him, quite tirelessly, to give up a valuable property that she seemed to forget was a part of his inheritance.
Two years into their marriage, one of his father's brothers passed away of old age and had left him the rundown property, amongst others, in his will. He and Mellie had decided to sell the others, but were so in love with the location of this particular property that they held onto it. It sat unused for some months, the couple unsure of what to do with it until a trust of Mellie's became available which inspired them to perform a major upheaval of the place. They poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into the estate, turning it into the picturesque residence it was now. Due to all of the upgrades, the desirable waterfront location and neighborhood, the house was now worth well over six million dollars and Mellie was hot to get her hands on it.
Her lawyer had argued in his deposition that since he had inherited the property while they were married, it should be considered communal property, and when taking into consideration the couple had used her inheritance to improve the location, it should either be awarded to her, or liquidated and the proceeds split evenly between the two. Thankfully, the judge didn't see things that way, and thus she had been trying everything in her power to get him to relinquish it to her voluntarily, which was not going to happen. She moved from feigned kindness, to mildly masked bribery to all out rage and threats of blackmail. He wasn't sure how to take her last message:
**Fitzgerald,**
**It would not do you well to continue to deny me. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one with secrets, and trust, you do not want to make an enemy out of me. I have been trying to get in contact you for over a month now, be an adult and respond. You have one week.**
**-Mellie**
_Ugh, you could ruin a wet dream Mellie._
But instead of letting the message enrage him and ruin his day as it usually would, he blocked her email address, deleted the message, and moved onto the next email. There was little and less she could do from all the way across the country, short of burning the place down, try as she might to shake him. The divorce decree was the only final notice he was concerned with, and he wasn't going to allow himself to be baited or bullied by her anymore. That chapter in his life was over with it. He closed out of the the screen and switched gears to the draft he was supposed to be editing, returning his mind to the words on the page.
"What are you doing?" asked a sleepy voice from the doorway.
He looked up and saw her leaning against the frame of the door, clad only in a fantasy inducing cornflower blue bra and panty set. He admired her velvety legs, seductively crossed at the ankles, and immediately missed the feeling of them against his skin. She must have felt his absence, and rolled straight of bed looking for him, not bothering with clothes.
He smiled, "Hey babe. I just had a breakthrough idea in my dream, I wanted to come jot it down before I forgot."
"Oh okay," she said lingering. "Well I won't distract you."
"You're not...I need you, come here," he motioned to his lap. "Maybe you could tell me what's missing here?"
She crossed the room and he licked his lips as she moved to oblige him, his member quickly waking up to remind him that this was counterproductive to getting work done. As she slid her scantily clad bottom onto his groin, he realized how insubstantial the thin fabric of his boxers were. He chewed his lip when she moved back a bit, adjusting her posture to get comfortable while reading. He had to put both hands on her hips to stop her from moving again, the sensation was overwhelming his senses and eradicating all desires to edit the proposal he was diligently working on. _She really is clueless to the effect she has on me,_ he thought, but little Fitz was already standing to remind her, and he couldn't hold back a low moan.
"Baby," she said in a low tone, looking back at him, "I thought you wanted me to read this for you?"
"I did," he said biting his lip, "I do."
She turned back around and read for a moment, then shifted again, her creamy legs wrapping tight around his. She arched her back and made slow circles against his crotch, teasing him. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into his chest, fingering the straps of her bra and moving them aside to kiss the soft skin beneath them. He could feel her wetness begin to soak through his boxers, the material of her underwear unable to contain the hurricane of her desire for him. The feel and the thought of her wanting him had him as hard as a rock. He yanked her bra down, not bothering with clasp, so he could squeeze her breasts in his hands. She threw her head back onto his shoulder and moaned in his ear, still rocking firmly against his cock. He sunk his teeth into her shoulder, needing to taste and possess her, needing to leave his mark. She was _his_. He was lost in the taste of her skin until he felt her hand slip inside of his boxers and release him.
She lowered herself against his pulsating cock, the only obstacle to her wetness now remained in the flimsy blue fabric of her underwear and his willpower, but his mind had already checked out. She was grinding circles directly onto his throbbing flesh, coating his cock with her sweetness. He couldn't take it anymore.
He tilted her upperbody slightly over the edge of the desk, slowly using his index fingers to lower her soaking thong down over her hips and out of the way. He palmed her ass, gently squeezing each cheek before laying a soft kiss on each one. He then pulled her back flush against his groin, his sensitive shaft sliding back and forth against her dripping entrance.
"Fuck," he groaned as she arched her back again, creating an angle that allowed his tip to enter her slightly, his cock further engorged by the resistance he met at her entrance. They were playing a dangerous game now and he knew it. He moved the head of his cock into her slowly, grazing the pool of juices at her opening, her loud moan exhibiting her delight at the sensation. He rubbed against her clit, enjoying the long awaited feeling of her hot wet mound encompassing his, even if it was just the tip. He pushed for entry again and found firm resistance at her entrance, which caused her to whimper uncomfortably, snapping him partially out of his daze.
He withdrew himself from her wetness, moving his underwear back over his erection until he felt her hand wrap around his length and begin to stroke him.
"God, Olivia, don't," he moaned with his eyes fluttering, unable to slow his breathing or heartbeat. This was his first time feeling her hand directly on his sensitive skin like this, her warm fingers wrapped around his throbbing member. He was losing his resolve. He had purposely avoided letting her touch him this way for that reason, knowing that it would be hard to stop himself once little Fitz got more intimately involved.
"Why," she asked in a voice that made him want to ravage her right there, still moving her hands back and forth against his shaft. She turned herself to the side so she could nibble his neck.
He licked his lips, he was losing control and desperately trying to remember his reasoning for waiting in the first place, "B-b-because baby, I want to try to take it slow."
"Fitz," she moaned, "I want you to be my first," still stroking him gently, her slight fingers grazing the rim of his throbbing bulb.
And then he lost it, he felt his member pulsate and spit uncontrollably in her hand, leaving a mess all over her fingers and stomach.
"Damn it, I'm sorry baby," he kissed her quickly. He was slightly embarrassed by the amateur move. She had an effect on him that transformed him from a grown man to a virgin teenager. Part of him was happy that it had stopped when ig had though, he didn't want to do it their first time on a chair in his study.
"It's okay," she leaned up, kissing him back.
"Hold still, let me get a washcloth quick."
He hurried to the bathroom, wetting a cloth with warm water and returning to wipe her down. They didn't speak, but he hoped his touch spoke the love he felt for her as he gathered her body up in his arms and carried her back to the bedroom. The entire time he walked, their last scene was playing out in his head, her "why" ringing in his ears.
Why was he holding back? She seemed sure she wanted to give herself to him, but still, he held back.
_You're scared_ a voice whispered to him, his subconscious saying what his conscience refused.
And he was. After tasting her knew he couldn't let her go, and he was afraid of how much more he might feel once they crossed the final line. She already invaded his thoughts, his senses and even his dreams. Each morning that he awoke in his bed with her in his arms, he could see their future more clearly. He could see himself asking her to be his forever, rubbing her belly that was swollej with their child, finding the home of their dreams, and getting old together. He knew sex would only magnify that feeling and it scared him. Where they were now, he still had at least some semblance of control, or at least that's what he told himself. Once he had felt her completely, he knew everything would change.
_Everything has already changed_, he thought finally before falling asleep.
* * *
Fitz pulled into the parking space, sighed and leaned over and kissed her, "Are you coming home with me tonight?"
She nuzzled into his neck, "If you want me to."
He smiled, "Call me when you're ready, I'll come pick you up."
"Okay," she replied, still holding onto him.
"It'll only be a few hours...but I'll miss you," he said kissing her temple.
"I'll miss you, too."
"I'll see you later, k?" he said, still not untangling his arms and hands from hers.
"Later," she finally pulled back.
He kissed her hand one more time before letting it go.
* * *
Olivia made her way up to the house in a daze, trying to talk herself out of her feelings. _You're being ridiculous Olivia, he has spent pretty much every waking and sleeping moment with you for the last month, relax!_ But she couldn't. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, as soon as she had stepped out of the car and he pulled away, she felt his absence. She wasn't used to this. She never allowed herself to miss anyone, ever, because it hurt too much. When her mother passed away, she grieved but mostly steeled herself to the emotion of missing and wanting her presence; it was a fruitless pursuit. Why want what you can't have, was the theory, but she couldn't seem to suppress this.
Her thoughts still occupied with Fitz, she unlocked the door mindlessly, her train of thought broken by the sound of a high pitched voice calling her name, "Liv is that you?!"
"Yeah it's me Abby, where are you?" She responded slipping off her shoes by the door.
"Living room," she called back in a sing songy tone.
Olivia rounded the corner and did her best not to let her face drop at the sight of Abby and Edison, curled up on the couch in front of the television, Abby draped seductively across his chest.
She froze.
"Hi, Olivia," he quipped with a smirk that made her stomach turn.
"Hi Edison," she replied stoically. "Hey Abby."
Abby linked her arm through Edison's possessively and kissed his neck, "Hi Olivia, where have you beennnn?"
"Yeah Olivia, where have you been? We've been waiting on you to make an appearance," he joined in.
Olivia was shocked, but she had already put on her gladiator face, she would never let them visibly provoke emotion from her.
"Oh, just went out of town for a bit, you know, see some people," she retorted vaguely, shifting her feet. "But guys, I'm really tired, it's kind of been a long day. I'll catch up with you guys later," she said as she made a beeline up to her room.
Olivia slipped into her bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. She moved to her bed and stopped short. The aura of her room was not right. Something in her gut was telling her that her space had been violated. She looked around, trying to pinpoint what was setting her alarms off. It was her dresser. She was meticulous about folding her clothes to the point of obsession, so the fact that a t-shirt was sticking out of the corner of a drawer screamed that things were not exactly as she left it.
She moved to her closet immediately, checking to see if her memory box was intact, and it confirmed her suspicions. She always left the labeled side of the box facing the wall, it was a quirk of hers, but now it was facing outward.
_Outward._
_Someone was looking through my things._
_Someone was in my room._
_But who, and what were they looking for?_
_Wait a minute, my door was locked._
Her mind immediately went to the fairly odd couple downstairs. It had to be one, or both of them. Abby's card had master access and it was probably no coincidence that Edison was downstairs with the person who had the code.
_But why?_
She looked through the box carefully, and all her jewelry was accounted for, which weirded her out even more. She exited the closet and sat on bed, unsure of what to do next. She pulled out her cellphone and pressed 2 on her speed dial, a wave of relief washing over her as soon as he answered the phone.
"Harrison, I need you to come over as soon as possible. Something's wrong."
"Ok, give me like twenty, I'm on my way."
* * *
Thirty minutes later Harrison was calling, "I'm at the front door." Thankfully Abby and Edison had disappeared, so they made their way to her room unaccosted.
He sat at her desk, "So what's up?"
She filled him on everything: the gifts, the Christmas phone call and cryptic threats, the Abby hookup and the moved items in her room. He knew Edison was someone she had dated in the past, but since the Pre-Fall Ball had effectively killed whatever was between them, he had never met Edison since beginning his first year at MIT.
He sat for a while not speaking, "He sounds a little nutty Liv, I don't like this. And I don't like him being here, especially not with her having access to your room. But look, let me hook up with Huck after he gets done with this meeting in a few and we'll handle it. In the meantime, maybe you should come stay at the batcave?" he offered, referencing he and Huck's off-campus bachelor pad that was more of a party house than a living space.
"Thanks, but no thanks. You guys are wayyy too loud and messy for me to stay more than a few hours. But thanks for taking care of this for me. I was trying to let it pass, but he is just relentless."
"So you don't mind being in the house with him?" he asked doubtfully.
"Don't worry, I have someplace I can stay," she answered, being purposely vague.
"Right, about that. So who is he?" Harrison fired back, not missing a beat. He never ceased to amaze her with his perceptiveness.
"What?" she hesitated for a moment, trying to buy herself a second to decide if she should even attempt to lie.
"Liv, please, it's me. I know you better than anyone. At first I thought you weren't answering my calls because you were pissed I cancelled Christmas last minute, but then when we spoke you didn't have that usual annoyed tone. And then I swore a few times I heard a male voice in the background, but I didn't want to mention it until we were face to face so I could read your reaction. The deer in headlights look gave it way. And otherwise, you would've been here when Captain Creep broke into your room, no?"
She sighed, unable to contain her smile, "I hate you sometimes Harrison."
He chuckled at that, "I love you too, sis. So who is he?"
"Harry, It's complicated...," she started
"Complicated like how? You might as well just spill it. You know I'm not gonna drop this," he said joining her on the bed.
"He's...a little older than me," she eased into it.
"So by a little, you probably mean a lot, and so I'm guessing you met him here on campus?"
"Yeah..." she said, not giving much more.
He shook his head, "Just, please, dont tell me he's one of your professors."
She didn't answer and that was all the answer he needed.
"OLIVIA," he yelled, "are you fucking crazy?"
"Harrison, it's not like that," she tried to calm him, "and he's not really the professor, more like the guest lecturer."
He put his head in his hands, "Don't tell me he's married, too?"
"No, he's divorced."
"Well thank god for small favors, right?"
She chuckled nervously, "Harrison, you know me..."
"I know...I know," he breathed in deeply. "So when can I meet him?"
"What?" she huffed in disbelief.
"You heard me, I need to meet him. I'm not gonna let you go out gallivanting with some random professor dude," he argued, "I have to make sure he's not creeping on you. Especially in light of this latest Edison development. How old is he anyway?"
"Thirty-five," she sighed, "and I don't really know if that's a good idea, it's kind of soon."
"Okay that's not so old," he said simply ignoring her rebuffs. "Anyway it's supposed to be in the high 40's this weekend, so Huck and I were planning on going paint balling in Chicopee. You guys are coming with, no arguments."
"Harrison,-" she started firmly.
"Olivia. Make it work. We can do it the easy way, or the hard way," he said with a wink, "either way, I'm gonna see what this guy is made of. Look, I gotta go though," he leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I'll be back with Huck in a couple hours to set things up. Let me know which day works for you guys," he said shutting the door behind him.
* * *
They were laying in bed watching tv when he leaned over and kissed her shoulder, she had been unusually quiet, "What's on your mind?" he asked gently.
"Nothing much," she replied not sure if she wanted to get into it.
"Doesn't look like it."
She chuckled, "Am I that easy to read?"
"Yup," he laughed kissing her temple, "now spill it! Or get tickled to death. You choose."
She giggled at his silly antics, "Well, my cousin Harrison came by my house earlier today, after you dropped me off."
"Oh yeah, how did it go?"
"Fine, except he was giving me a little grief about not answering his phone calls over break."
He grinned, "Oh and I guess that has a little something to do with me?"
"Yeah...he pretty much called me out about you..." she said, not quite sure how to tell him that Harrison knew for sure.
"Really," he asked, raising an eyebrow, "and what did you say?"
"I tried to deny it," she rushed out, "but he knows me pretty well and-"
He kissed her on the lips, "Liv, it's not a big deal. You trust him, right? I'm sure he wouldn't do anything to put us in jeopardy," he reasoned.
"No, it's not that, it's just...he wants to meet you," she blurted out before she was tempted to beat around the bush any further.
He raised an eyebrow, genuinely shocked, "Wow, I, uh wasn't expecting that."
"Me either. He invited us to paintball with him and our good friend Huck up in Chicopee this weekend. It's a big woodsy place they like to go to. I told him I didn't know if it's a good idea -"
He could see the nervousness and apprehension on her face, and raised his hands to cup her cheeks, "Livi, hey, it's fine. Why not, right?" he gave her a reassuring smile, "He's your family, I'd love to meet him. I don't have to work this weekend, so I'm definitely game. Its out of town, so we most likely won't run into anyone we know. It should be fine," he kissed her. "Unless you don't want me to?" he added.
"No, that'd be great," she looked up at him smiling, all the worry gone from her face, "I think you guys will really like each other."
* * *
Fitz was trying to keep his eyes on the road and off of the tempting skin at her waist, which was left exposed as she leaned up to adjust the satellite radio above the passenger side window. No matter how hard she tried, they couldn't get more than a dribble of coherent music to come through the speakers before white noise interjected. He shifted his gaze over to her for just a moment, just long enough to take in the beauty of her scrunched up face as she adjusted the wire and tuner, relentless in her pursuit of a solution. He reached his hand over and splayed his fingers over her taut abdomen, "Don't worry about it babe, we can figure it out later. You can try the regular radio if you want. "
"Yeah, it's starting to drive me crazy," she fiddled with it for another few seconds before giving up and leaning over into his seat and kissing him.
"Thanks again for coming," she whispered into his ear.
"You don't have to thank me," he moved one hand off the wheel and joined it to hers, relishing in the feeling of her fingers opening up to welcome his. "So you haven't really told me much about Huck, what is he like?"
"Huck is...Huck," she laughed. "He's really hard to describe. He and Harrison have been really good friends since middle school, so he hung out with us a lot. He doesn't talk much though, so don't take it personally. He's just been through a lot. He's good people though, fiercely loyal, really smart, a genius with technology and stuff like that."
"Oh, he sounds interesting. I won't lie, I'm kind of nervous. They're probably planning to tag team and kill me in this game," he chuckled. "It's been a really long time since I've played last."
"Don't be nervous," she kissed his temple, "Harrison will love you, I know it!"
"I hope so. So...when we're out with them today, is it okay if I hold your hand or I should I-"
"Fitz, he's my cousin, not my dad, and he's younger than me anyway," she tried to quell his fears. "He's really cool, you'll see."
* * *
Thirty minutes later they were pulling in front of the facility, and a black SUV honked at them. They filed out of the car to greet the two young men bounding towards them, one of which he recognized from Olivia's phone background as being Harrison, and the other a husky guy who could only be Huck. Harrison immediately drew Olivia in for a hug, and then stuck out a hand for Fitz.
"Fitzgerald Grant, nice to meet you," he offered his hand in return, "you can call me Fitz."
Harrison smiled a confident smile and shook Fitz's hand firmly, "You know, I think I like Grant better. I'm Harrison, you can call me Harrison though," he said ribbing. "This is my main man Huck."
Huck shook Fitz's hand wordlessly, but offering a nod.
"You guys ready for war?"
They made some small conversation as they entered the building, Olivia and Harrison doing most of the talking. He looked around as they conversed, taking in his surroundings as they waited for the group orientation to begin. There were large bay windows in the lobby, allowing him a view of the acreage. He saw a large expanse of land that stretched back as far as the eye could see, dotted with large pines, except for allotted clearings, which would offer them concealment. He looked around the room sizing up his competition and noticing that many of the other patrons there looked more like regulars than newbies, a number of them carrying their own pimped out paint guns instead of utilizing the facility's more generic ones.
Harrison turned to Huck to discuss something quietly, and Fitz took the opportunity to grab Liv's hand, "Babe these guys look serious, they look like they do this a lot."
She laughed, "Are you _scared_ Fitz?"
"No, not at all," he tried to be nonchalant. "Just sizing up the competition. Are you?"
"Nope, not even a little bit. Not my first time at this rodeo, either," she winked.
He laughed, grabbing her hand as their group was called, "You never cease to amaze me Olivia Pope."
* * *
Fitz was stalking through the trees, using the tall pines to conceal his large frame. He was flushed, his body feeling the burn of three hardcore rounds of paintball, but it felt good. He was keeping up with the others, in spite of not having played since college. The first round of elimination was simple and fun enough, then they moved onto a game of capture the flag, then base capture. Now they were playing snipers, the last round, a much slower paced game based on stealth and strategy.
He wondered how Liv was holding up, even though he knew she was more experienced than him in this arena. They were on separate teams, so he had seen her in passing, but everything was moving so fast and her small size seemed to work in her favor. Since this round would be a bit drawn out, he figured now was as good a time as ever to try to find her.
He moved quickly underneath a cluster of large trees, not sure exactly where he was going, but trusting his instincts. His eyes spied his heart's desire leaning against a tree, looking westward in the opposite direction of where he was coming from. He sidled up slowly, deciding to surprise her, looking around to make sure they were concealed.
He spoke when he saw her body tense at the sound of approaching feet, "Gun down, hands up Ms. Pope," he said playfully, aiming his gun towards her.
She primly placed the gun on the ground and spun around, he closed the distance between them, placing his gun next to hers. They both removed their masks as she moved briskly into his arms, throwing her arms around his neck and backing him into the tree behind him. He smiled at her enthusiasm, and responded by latching his hands firmly onto her ass and grinding his pelvis into hers. He hovered over her, teasing out her desire, his lips barely an inch from hers, "Kiss me," he whispered, grabbing her chin in his hand.
"I can't," she turned her head with a smirk. "You're the enemy."
He laughed, "I could never be your enemy Liv," his voice suddenly serious.
She looked at him with something in her eyes that he couldn't read, and moved her hands from around his neck to his face, kissing him with an intensity he didn't expect. He wanted to feel her skin, feel the heat bubbling beneath the surface and taste the skin on her neck and shoulders, but the camouflage jumpsuit was obstructing him. He held onto her as tightly as he could, their tongues wrestling for dominance. He could hear and feel her moan into his mouth when he softly kneaded her cheeks, loving the feeling even as obstructed by her uniform. He felt an urge to smack her ass, and she giggled in response.
"Hands off Grant," he stiffened as he heard a voice from behind Olivia.
He looked up and saw a paintball gun pointed directly at him.
"Go away Harrison," she groaned, not turning around.
"Come on Liv, you can't be out here gallivanting with enemy combatants," he laughed. "Plus he's the last one from green team, and we're red, in case you forgot," he motioned at his colored vest. "So get out of the way, I'm taking him down."
"I won't let you," she said, turning and using her body as a shield. Fitz chuckled and draped his arms lovingly around her waist.
Harrison sighed stalking away through the trees and calling over his shoulder, "Come on Pocahontas and John Smith, let's get this game over with!"
* * *
When their game was over, they changed back into civilian clothes and decided to go to a nearby sports bar for a late lunch. Fitz was actually feeling comfortable. Olivia never let go of his hand and even kissed him a couple of times, which reassured him that things were going fine. Harrison was talkative and charismatic, and even when he dominated the conversation, he made you feel like you were on whatever adventure he was telling you about. His colorful language, mannerisms and collection of voice impressions kept them all thoroughly entertained. Huck didn't speak much, but he laughed heartily and would add in random tidbits from the story that Harrison would gloss over.
He was afraid going in that he would be the odd man outside of their trifecta, trying to keep up, but they made him feel silly for being nervous. The waitress came to refill their drinks, and Huck took that opportunity to speak, "Hey, Olivia, you still owe me a rematch at the foosball table, wanna give it a go?"
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot," she leaned over and kissed his cheek, "I'll be right over there if you need me. Won't be long."
"Ok," he replied, watching her walk away.
"So what are your intentions with Olivia?"
Fitz cleared his throat, Harrison's question catching him slightly off guard, "I really care for Olivia, I want to make her happy. I intend to spend a lot of time with her and get to know her better."
"Be honest with me here," he leaned in, lowering his voice a bit, "Is this just some fling? Or do you see some kind of future with her?"
"Well, what has she told you?" he answered the question with a question.
"You're avoiding the question, but to be honest not much, which is part of why I'm coming to you. She tells me everything." He sighed, "Look, I'm not trying to cause trouble between you two. Olivia is smart, she can take care of herself for the most part, but sometimes things get out of control, and when they do, I have to step in. We're all each other has, really. Liv is naturally a loner, and she's young snd pretty, and out here in the world alone. People see that she doesn't really have any family, and try to prey on that. But I'm here now, and I just wanted to make my presence known."
"Harrison, really, it's not like that between us. I know what it might look like from the outside, but it's not about sex. She honestly gives me a feeling I never thought was possible to have. The last thing I'm looking to do is hurt her. It would kill me, but I would walk away before I would take advantage of her trust," he responded honestly.
Harrison considered him for a moment, eyeing him seriously, "You know, I think I like you Grant. I get a good vibe from you. Seeing you two together...she seems happy. I can't remember the last time I've seen her glow like that. Olivia's more like a sister than a cousin to me, so I just have to make it my business to be sure she's in good hands. I slipped before, but I wont let it happen again. Don't make me regret trusting you. And while I'm on that, what do you know about this Edison guy?"
"Edison?" he racked his brain trying to recall if she had mentioned him before. "I don't think she's brought up anyone by that name to me."
He raised an eyebrow, "Huh. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it then," he said chuckling, realizing he put his foot in his mouth.
"Why not? Who is he?" He didn't like the sound of this.
He sighed, "You really should talk to Liv about this, but since we're on the subject, he's bad news. Essentially, there was a verbal altercation and she feels threatened because he won't leave her alone. Someone broke into her room, and she's pretty sure he either did it, or was involved with it, but she wasn't home. I'm assuming she was with you, which is probably a good thing because who knows what he's capable of. She thinks he's pretty harmless, but Huck worked his magic and accessed his sealed juvenile record, which had a couple of accusations of stalking and harassment. Both mysteriously dropped and settled. His family, and particularly his father, is a big deal in Connecticut. He has the kind of connections to make things disappear. We're working out a plan, but I don't like the idea of him possibly having access to her room. Until we can corner him, it'd be nice to know there was someone else looking out for her."
"Say no more," he felt himself growing tense at the thought of this guy creeping on Olivia. "I'll be damned if I let him so much as harm a hair on her head."
"Glad we're on the same page," Harrison replied, offering him his hand.
Soon they concluded their lunch, and made their way back to their separate vehicles.
"Thanks for coming out guys, it was a good time," Harrison said genially. "We should do it again some time."
"Definitely," Fitz replied without hesitation. "It was great to meet you after hearing so much about you, Harrison. You as well, Huck."
Huck just nodded, but Harrison offered his hand, "We'll set it up, I'm just glad to see my Liv is in good hands. he smiled turned to her and opened his arms for a hug, and she went into his embrace, "I'm gonna hit you up soon as we figure out our next move, but believe me, we're not slacking on this. Liv, be careful. I love ya."
"Love you too, Harrison. You guys be careful, don't do anything too crazy."
He grinned his Harrison grin and ended their embrace, "You already know how Huck and I get down Liv, Ohana!"
She laughed at his reference to their favorite movie, "Ohana guys, I'll see you two later!"
* * *
As they made their way back to Fitz's apartment, they laughed and discussed the day's events, both pleased with how it turned out. Fitz couldn't get the conversation with Harrison out of his head though, and he knew he had to bring it up. When they were laying in bed, letting the television watch them, he decided it was as good a time as ever.
"Livi can I tell you something?" he asked softly, rubbing circles gently into her side.
"Anything," she whispered back.
"I know it hasn't been very long at all, it's barely been a month...but I can't help myself. I keep telling myself I'm crazy, that's it's too soon, but no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise," he stared into her eyes, unwavering, "I can't fight it. I'm falling for you. I have fallen for you. I love you, Olivia. I'm in love with you."
"Fitz I...I love you too, I'm in love with you, too."
"I just want you to know you can trust me. You can depend on me," he moved a stray piece of hair from her face.
"I do, Fitz."
"So, how come you haven't told me about this Edison character?" he countered.
She groaned, "Harrison told you?"
"Yes, he did, and don't be mad at him, he thought I was already in the know. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Fitz, I didnt want to worry you. I know you're already in an awkward position because I'm a student, and I didn't want you to feel like you had to do something else that might jeopardize your career," she rationalized softly. "I asked Harrison to look into it for me and he says he's going to handle it."
"Liv you have to know that your well being is more important to me than a job. I can't help but worry about you...I want to be there for you...protect you. I need you to tell me what's going on."
She filled him in on everything, the whole sordid ordeal, beginning with freshman year, to the humiliating ball, to the gifts and his "random" hookup with Abby. She could see him visibly tense when she told him about her room being disturbed, and why she suspected that he been going through her things.
At the end of it he sighed, resigned momentarily, "Well, if you say that Harrison is taking care of it, I will trust that. But you have to promise that if anything else happens, anything, you will tell me."
She kissed him softly, "I promise, I will."
"Pinky promise?" He asked linking his little finger to her tiny one.
"Pinky promise," she said sealing it with a kiss.
"Great, and tomorrow we're going on a ride."
"Where?"
"It's a surprise," he replied with a knowing grin. "Just trust me."
* * *
A/N: this one is kinda long, but I hope you guys like it! What do u think of the Harrison/Fitz interaction?
11. Keys
Olivia awoke to a gentle kiss on the nose.
"Come on sleeping beauty, it's already 10 o'clock!"
She opened her eyes to find two soft gray ones boring into her, willing her to get up. Some days his eyes appeared a cerulean blue that took her breath away, and others they looked as gray as clouds threatening to rain. This morning, they were a steely gray that was so beautiful she couldn't stop herself from reaching up and stroking his eyelashes. He closed his eyes at the touch, opening them once her hands withdrew and leaning down to kiss her.
She never knew it was possible to want someone as badly as she wanted him. She prided herself in being able to detach herself from emotions, but something in her changed when he was near. All she could think about was kissing him and pleasing him and making him smile. It scared her. What if he woke up one day and changed his mind about her? What if it was all some sick game for him?
She still wasn't sure why he would choose someone like her when he could probably have anyone. He was handsome, brilliant, compassionate and just a joy to be around. She wondered what he even saw in her. Being with him made her almost forget how broken, paranoid, and unworthy of being loved she had felt for so long. _Almost_. After being told everything to the contrary, day in and day out for five years, she was having a hard time stamping out the voice that whispered _you're not good enough, you don't deserve someone like him; one day he's going to see you for what you really are, and he's going to leave._
She wasn't sure what she would do if he did leave her. For so many years, she felt like the walking dead; just going through the motions on the margins of life, watching everyone else live, but not participating. He made her feel alive. He made her feel love towards herself again and for that she wanted nothing more than to give herself to him. She wanted to show him how much she needed him to stay.
But he wanted to wait and she was willing to do whatever he thought was best. Her body, however, seemed to gain a mind of its own once he touched her. She had never even known the true meaning of desire until she felt his body pressed against hers on that bathroom countertop. The feeling of him throbbing against her was exhilarating. Somehow she could feel that he didn't want to dominate her. He wanted to be intimate and pleasure her, and it made her feel more beautiful, more powerful than she had ever felt.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked, pulling her back into the moment.
"You," she answered honestly. She looked down at his chest hovering over her mid section and noticed that he was bare, except for a large white towel wrapped around his waist. "You showered already?"
"No," he replied, kissing her again. This time sucking her bottom lip as he moved his hands beneath her t-shirt, dragging his fingertips lightly up her abdomen until the fabric bunched around her collarbone. She raised her arms so he could pull it up over her head, and he tossed it waywardly onto the floor. He moved his hands to her hips, tracing tiny circles into her hipbones as their tongues danced until he felt her body quiver beneath his touch. He smiled on her lips, breaking their kiss to lean back and gaze at her, "You are _so_ beautiful." He leaned down into her again, using his arms as leverage to lift her up off of the bed.
She giggled as he threw her over his shoulder and carried her into the bathroom. "What are you doing?"
"Undressing you," he whispered, as he lowered her carefully onto the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck, staring into his eyes as he moved his hands to her waist, massaging his hands up her spine until her reached the band of her bra. He took his time, unlatching each hook and then using his thumbs to lower her bra straps until the lacy undergarment fell away to the floor. He pulled her closer, needing to feel the impression of her breasts against his naked skin. He dropped his towel to the floor and the sensation of her nipples hardening against his chest threatened to undo him.
Fitz began gently tugging at the shorts that draped her hips so he could press his stiffening manhood against her bare skin. He kneeled before her, sliding the material the rest of the way down until it reached the floor. She raised one leg and then the other so he could take them off completely. He raised his hands up to her hips to remove her underwear, quickly pulling them down to join the shorts on the floor.
He stood, grabbing her hands and leading her over to the shower, "Get in."
He turned on the water and followed her into the steaming stall, joining her underneath the stream. He looped his arms about her waist, loving the feeling of their bodies intertwined beneath the cleansing sensation of the shower. When he was with her, he felt like a new man. He felt the tenderness of this moment well up in his heart and he never wanted to forget it. He was still throbbing, still desiring her, but he also felt a loving contentment that overwhelmed him. He enjoyed being this close to her physically and emotionally. "Turn around," he whispered, loosening his grasp around her wet middle.
He hovered above her lips, his thumbs running over ears,"Hi," he smiled.
"Hi," she smiled back, running her fingers along his chest; her wet digits cascading across his nipples down to his navel, her fingernails grazing his treasure trail and back up again. He reached over her, grabbing her citrus vanilla body wash, deciding to disregard a washcloth in favor of his hands.
He worked up a good lather before palming her ass, using his fingers to work the soap across her soft, wet cheeks, bringing her pelvis to his. She moaned as he kneaded the soapy bubbles up her back until he reached her shoulders, gently rubbing out the kinks. He clasped his fingers around her neck gently, rolling her slight muscles between his knuckles to ease the tenseness there. She giggled lightly when he glided his palms back down over her shoulder blades to her underarms, not wanting to miss a spot.
Her giggles turned to moans when his glide continued onto her hard nipples, rubbing the pads of his fingers over her tips as his palms gently gripped her breasts, covering the beautiful brown skin there with translucent bubbles.
He moved, shifting them so that her back was against the side wall. He lifted her left leg and hooked it around his waist. His bulb rubbing temptingly across her wet stomach. He gathered more soap in his hands, working the fragrant solution over the whole of her petite foot and then slowly into the crevices between each toe, eliciting a soft gasp. She closed her eyes as he continued the journey down her body, wrapping his large hand around her calf. He stroked her thigh up and down until it was well lathered, snaking up until his fingers met the juncture where her leg intersected with her sweetness. He ran his hand lightly over her clit before wrapping her right leg around his waist and giving it the same treatment.
He moved one hand back to the juncture between her legs; she was hot and wet, in spite of him purposely avoiding her there. Now that he had gotten her clean, he trusted himself to kiss her. Her tongue fanned over his lips begging for entry, but he grabbed it with his lips instead, sucking and teasing it until she groaned. She threw her head back onto the wall, breaking their kiss for air. He sunk his teeth into her neck, loving the way that she squirmed beneath him when he ran his tongue over the place where her neck met her shoulder.
Fitz glided the pad of his thumb over her opening, feeling her slickness increase to match the torrent of the shower. "Babe," she moaned as her hips bucked beneath him and he knew she was close. He slid his finger in, wanting to touch her from the inside out, and her walls came up to meet him. He slid his finger in and out, slowly at first and then quicker, mimicking the pace of how had fantasized of him stroking her, making love to her. "I love you Livi," he whispered as her body shuddered around his finger.
* * *
An hour later they piled into the car, and Fitz entered an address she didn't recognize into the GPS.
"Are you still not gonna tell me where we're going?" she asked hopefully.
"Nope."
She laughed, "Okay, well can we stop by my house really quick before we go? I forgot my allergy medication."
"Of course."
As they pulled onto campus, she directed him to park in the spaces across from her house instead of down the hill where he usually waited, since she was just running in for a moment. She jetted into the house, relieved that there was no one in the kitchen or living room. She ran up the stairs and slid her keycard into the door, careful to shut the door quietly behind her when she heard the tv blaring from Abby's room. Abby's room looked directly out into the parking area and she didn't want to call any attention to herself.
She made it out of the house unaccosted, and twenty minutes later they were pulling up in front of a store with a sign that read **Secure & Defend**.
She chuckled, "Seriously Fitz?"
"As a heart attack," he smiled. "I just want to see what they have." He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, "Liv, the idea of your safety being in jeopardy worries me. I just want you to be able to protect yourself in case there comes a time when Harrison or I can't be there, okay?"
She leaned over and kissed his cheek, "Thanks, I appreciate it."
They walked into the store hand in hand and a long haired clerk greeted them,
"Welcome to Secure and Defend, where your safety is our top priority. How can I assist you today?" he rattled off as if he'd said the greeting hundreds of times.
"Hello," Fitz spoke, "my girlfriend and I are just interested to see what type of gadgets you might have to ward off unwanted intruders?"
She tried not to show her surprise at his use of the word 'girlfriend.' Their romance had been somewhat of a whirlwind, with them falling into a routine but never having had an official talk about being exclusive.
"Is this for an entire house, or a room?" the clerk asked.
"It's for my bedroom," she responded.
"Yeah, we definitely have some gadgets to keep the looney toons out. By the way, my name is Earl. You guys got some time? Got some things I can show ya," Earl motioned around the cases and shelves.
"We're all yours Earl," Fitz smiled, "cleared the afternoon just for this."
"Alrighty then. First things first, you got any kind of training? Any military, or you ever taken any defense classes, karate or the like?"
She chuckled, "No. I've never even been in a fist fight. Well, once in the second grade, but I don't think that counts."
He grinned, "Understood. I only ask because lots of folks come in here, wanting to get all kinds of weapons, but I try to discourage em that if the person don't have any traning."
"Why is that?" Fitz asked
"Weapons can be dangerous. The perp usually already has the element of surprise in his favor, and when it's man on a woman, he usually has size on his side, too. If you pull a weapon out that you haven't been trained with, he's likely to wrestle it from you and use it against you. Best idea is to put as much space between you and the perp as humanly possible, or avoid them altogether if you can."
He reached up and grabbed a box off the shelf, "Now this here looks like your average doorstopper, but it's actually a wedge alarm. Once you go in your room, close the door and stick this under there and press the red button. Anyone tries to open the door, a 125 decibel alarm goes off, and it prevents the door from opening."
Fitz smiled, "Alright, we'll take it."
"Great, now a second line of defense," he pulled out a tray of small silver bottles shaped like lip balm. "Looks unassuming enough right?" he twisted off the cap to expose a spout, "but it's a really effective mace," he said. "Unless the dude is on pcp or crystal meth, this'll stop him in his tracks. It has a twenty feet range and UV marking that will show up under black light. It'll give you some time to put some distance between y'all. We can even put it on little keychain, then you won't ever forget it at home, cuz it'll be right round your wrist. They'll never see it coming."
"You know what Earl, that sounds like everything we need. We'll take the wedge, mace, and one of those keychains too."
"Alrighty then, well just pick a color and I'll ring you guys up." He walked over to the register, looking over to Fitz, "Cash or Credit?"
"Cash," Olivia spoke up, annoyed that he assumed Fitz was paying.
"I'm paying with cash, Earl," Fitz said, shooting her a look but not verbally responding to her. He slid the cash over the counter, then grabbed her hand, "Let's get some lunch."
* * *
They walked to the opposite end of the plaza from where the store was located, deciding on a small diner which was serving breakfast all day. As they were seated and were left with their menus to order, she eyed him carefully. Not sure if she wanted to broach the topic, but going ahead anyway, "Fitz, you know you can let me pay for things sometimes, right?"
"No, I can't," he responded playfully, not taking his eyes off of the menu.
"You should though," she added honestly, "I feel badly about you paying for everything."
He looked up at her, finally taking his eyes off the paper, genuinely confused, "Why does that make you feel bad?"
"Because I feel like I'm spending you out of house and home," she said laughing. "I just...you do a lot for me. I don't want you to go broke because of me."
He laughed heartily, "Olivia, please. It's not a big deal," he kissed her cheek. "I'm not anywhere near going broke because of you, you don't need to think about that. Besides, even if I was, let me worry about it. These are things that I'm supposed to do, I'm _supposed_ to take care of you," he assured her.
"Well, aren't I supposed to take care of you, too?" she pointed out.
"You do," he said rubbing his hand over her knee.
"No, I don't," she said, frustrated, "you don't let me. But, I do have an idea on how we can fix that."
"Oh god," he grinned, "I'm nervous. What did you have in mind?"
"Well, I heard it's someone's birthday next weekend."
"Hmmm, I wonder whose?" he gave her thigh a squeeze.
"I don't know," she responded playfully. "Only the most beautiful man in the world," she kissed his cheek.
He chuckled at that, "You know just how to stroke my ego, don't you?" He kissed her softly on the lips. "What did you have in mind?"
"You're off that weekend, right?"
"Yep."
"You should let me take you someplace, not far," she added, "just for a couple nights."
He raised an eyebrow, "Where are we going?
"Now that, my dear, is a surprise. You just have to trust me to take care of it," she smirked mischievously.
"I trust you," he conceded.
"Andddd you have to promise not to try and pay for things," she threw in cautiously.
He groaned, "Ah, come on Livi!"
"Just for the weekend, okay?" She compromised, "I just want to do something nice for you."
"Okay, for that weekend, I promise. But for today, lunch is on me," he winked.
* * *
They rose early the next morning and Olivia asked him to drop her off to campus since he would be at meetings all day in city hall. She wanted to go home to check on her things and do some studying while he was working. Since she didn't have any Monday classes, she would just keep herself busy until he wanted to come get her.
"Babe, did you want me to leave you down the hill, or across the way from your house?" he asked pulling into the student apartment complex.
"I'm really tired, do you mind just dropping me across the street?"
* * *
She unlocked the door and grimaced at the sound of Edison's irritating laughter coming from the kitchen. She tried to close the front door as quietly as possible, but it wasn't quite quietly enough. She heard her name being called from the kitchen, "Olivia is that you?"
_Ugh_, she groaned to herself,_ I really don't want to deal with them right now_. However, trying not to fan the flames she walked into the kitchen anyway, "Hey guys."
"Hey Liv, wanna join us for breakfast?" Abby asked jovially, laying a dramatic hand over Edison's shoulder to show off the regifted tennis bracelet that adorned her arm. He smirked at Olivia over his glass, a taunt. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at their display. In between them, there was an elaborate breakfast spread on the table of danishes, muffins, orange juice, eggs and bacon.
She crossed over to the kitchen sink for a glass of water to avoid having to look in their direction, "Thanks, but no thanks. I already had something this morning," she lied.
"Oh, okay. They must be feeding you well wherever you're staying these days. You look great," she complimented.
"Thanks," Olivia turned around, feigning a smile and feeling that somehow this was more of an inquiry than a genuine compliment.
"Yeah, you're really glowing, Olivia," he chimed in. "He must be fucking you well," he added glowering at her.
"Excuse me?" she growled
"You heard me," he countered with ice in his voice.
"You're not even worth the breath, Edison," she said, storming out of the kitchen.
"The pussy must be as amazing as I thought it would be, if he's riding you around in his BMW," he called over his shoulder at her. It was a threat. He had seen her being dropped off and made a note of the car. She stopped short, her hands balled into trembling fists. She spun on her heels, marching blindly towards where they were seated, unsure of what she intended to do until she felt herself hoisting the orange juice in the air and watching it spill over his person.
"Don't you EVER speak to me again," she growled angrily.
He just smiled.
She stormed out of the kitchen up to her bedroom and slammed the door. She threw herself onto her bed and screamed into her pillow. She hated this and she hated him. He was purposely doing everything to get under her skin since she was completely ignoring him. She sighed, finding the allergy meds in her bag and swallowing two quickly. She sent Fitz a quick text about the altercation. She wanted to call and tell him what happened, but she knew he was busy with work and didn't want to bother him with the nonsense.
Seconds later, there was knocking at the door.
"Go away," she yelled at the tapping sound.
"Olivia, it's me, Abby. We need to talk."
She sighed, rising from the bed to open the door, "Yes?"
"May I come in?"
"Sure," she responded, not seeing much of a choice, even though she wanted nothing more than to be alone.
Abby walked over to the desk, folding her arms across her chest, "Liv, what was that all about?"
"Are you kidding me?" she asked incredulously, "Did you hear what he just said to me?"
She breathed in deeply and spoke again, "He was wrong, yes, but you crossed the line by pouring orange juice over his head! It was childish and uncalled for. He's not only my guest, he's my boyfriend!"
"I'm sick of him, Abby. I'm not going to let him degrade me in my own kitchen. This is also my house, in case you forgot, and I'm not going to put up with him disrespecting and violating me."
"You know, I almost did forget that you lived here. You're barely ever here!" she screamed.
"What's funny is last year you said I was home too much. Now, it's not enough. What does it matter, anyway? I still paid to live here, he didn't! You don't even care that's he actively trying to make me feel uncomfortable. If he's supposed to be your boyfriend, why is he watching my comings and goings, Abby? Get a grip, you're clearly being used! You couldn't possibly be that starved for male attention," she exploded.
"Ohhhh, so that's what this is about?" Abby asked with mock surprise. "I knew it. You're just jealous that Edison is no longer chasing you. You're angry and avoiding us because it drives you crazy that he's here, happy with me! And not someplace miserable, moping over the goddess that is Olivia Pope!"
Olivia shook her head, _Is she crazy? She can't really believe this?_ "Are you for real right now, Abby? Or have you actually lost your entire mind? We both know that if I wanted him, I could have him. But I don't. Please, trust me when I say that the very last man in the world I want to be with is Edison Davis. I just want to be left alone," she screamed. "I don't want to see his ugly face, or hear his irritating voice every time I come in the house. It seriously doesn't bother you, what he said down there?"
"Olivia," she said slowly as if she were speaking to a child, "you overreacted, period. Apologize."
Now, she was angry, "Do **not** patronize me Abby, I'm not stupid or crazy. I know when I'm being watched and taunted. Stevie Wonder could see that he's using you to cause problems for me. I mean, think about it! Three years we've been rooming together and he's never so much as said thirty words to you, but now, coincidentally when I'm ignoring him, he wants to date you? Seriously."
"Olivia, you're self centered and delusional. He's not thinking about you, _trust me_," she said simply with a small smirk.
"Wow, well if you don't mind playing second fiddle...be my guest. Just know that when he's with you, he's thinking about me, and that's not right. He must be thinking about me in order to know the make and model of the car that's dropping me off when you two are supposed to be enjoying each other's company! You deserve better, Abby. I just don't know how you could feel secure in a relationship knowing that you're wearing jewelry meant for another woman...What, did he let you rummage through the box of gifts I rejected, and let you choose from the scraps?"
"You bitch. You jealous, angry, bitch," Abby stepped closer, her face turning a vibrant shade of red.
She knew she should stop, but she was enraged, "Do not try me Abby, I am not the one. It's clear you don't have the sense the gods gave a fish, so you know what, I wish you guys well. If you can't see the forest for the trees, there's nothing I can say to you. How about both of you guys just stay away from me, and I'll do the same. Now, I'm tired, and quite frankly, I'm done with this conversation. You can close the door behind yourself on the way out," she dismissed her.
She sat back on the bed, her head was swimming. A migraine was beginning to form at the nape of her neck due to the events that had transpired in the short time since she had stepped foot in the house. She checked her phone to see if Fitz had responded yet, nothing.
She heard the door downstairs slam, and figuring one or both of them had left, she used the opportunity to take a quick shower. She returned to her room, dressing slowly in front of the mirror.
_Why is it that trouble follows me wherever I go?_ she wondered to herself.
She flopped dejectedly onto the bed, disgusted with the entire situation. She was tired, so tired, of pretty much everything. Except Fitz. The thought passed in her mind to put her the alarm he bought her in the door, but before she could will herself to get up, she was drifting.
* * *
Fitz read and reread the last message he had received from her.
**Got into a dumb fight with Abby and Edison. Call me when you're ready, I'm so ready to get out of here.**
She had sent it at 12:39, but he was in meetings unable to check his phone until 3:30. He had called and called since then, but no answer. Eighteen text messages, and an obsessive amount of calls later and still no reply. It was already 8:30 and still nothing. As soon as the sun began to set in the sky his mind had begun racing with thoughts of the worst. She could be scared and hurt someplace and he was helpless, unsure of what to do next.
Without thinking it all the way through, he had driven over to the parking area where he usually dropped her off down the hill from her apartment. But now that he was here, he realized how foolish it was to have come. It wasn't like he could just walk up, ring the bell and ask if she was home. There was no way he could pull off acting like a student, and it would raise suspicions that her professor would be looking for her at damn near 9 o'clock at night. He wished there was some way he could slip into the house and check her room, but he didn't have a key, and even if he did, he had no way of knowing if anyone else was home, or if she was even there.
He decided to drive up past the house to see if there was any action to be detected, slowing his speed as he went past.
_No lights on in the house, shit._
Now he was even more concerned.
_Think Fitzgerald, think._
He looped back around to the parking lot, pulling out his phone and willing it to ring. Please, just be okay he whispered.
_Maybe, I could try to call Harrison,_ the thought came to him randomly. He didn't have his number saved, but Olivia had used his phone to call him when her phone died a couple of nights ago. He found the unsaved number, thanking god for that small breakthrough.
The phone rang twice, "It's Harrison," he answered deftly.
"Hey Harrison, it's Fitz," he hurried out. "I think I need some help here. I can't get in touch with Olivia."
"What happened?" he heard his voice drop immediately.
"She's not answering her phone. I dropped her off early this afternoon, she texted me about a fight around one, and I haven't heard from her since. I've been calling and texting like a mad man and not a single response. I'm by her house now, and it doesn't look like anyone is home. Have you spoken to her?"
"Damn it, no, I haven't. Its been a crazy day. I haven't gotten a moment to check the camera or the door log all day, and I'm not even home. Fuck."
"The camera?" Fitz repeated, wondering if he'd heard correctly.
"Yeah. We have a faux fire alarm cam in her room that we can access over wifi. Put it in there hoping to catch him when he goes back into her room. I'm not at home though, let me text Huck though so he can take a look at the feed. I'm pinging her phone now to get the exact coordinates and location data on her phone. You said you're close by right?"
"Yeah, I'm right down the hill."
"Well, how adventurous are you? There's a way to get in if you're down for it."
"I hate sitting here helpless, fill me in."
"Okay, go up into the backyard," he directed, and Fitz filed out of the car up the incline to where Olivia's dark apartment lay.
"Okay, I'm in the yard."
"Great," Harrison continued, "there are three elm trees about six feet back from the house. Go up to the very last one and there's a jagged rock facing westward, beneath there is a makeshift key card. There's your way in, my pingback is giving me the location of her phone as being in the house, so hopefully she's there too."
"Makeshift keycard? Faux fire alarm cameras?" Fitz laughed quietly into the phone, "I'm not even sure I want to know what kinda shit you guys get into."
"Well, Huck has CIA dreams, and I just like to be ahead of the competition. I'm gonna need that card back too, by the way. Nothing personal."
"Okay, no problem. I got the card, I'm going in."
"Yeah," Huck just texted me, he's looking at the cam in real time now, she's up there."
His heart relaxed a bit, "Thank god, is she okay?" he asked, sliding the key into the slot.
"He says it looks like she's sleeping, but he can't be sure, it's gonna take him a few more minutes to review the tapes for the day. No one else is home though, so you're all set, first bedroom to the right up the stairs. Call me after you make contact."
* * *
Fitz slipped into the house as quietly as he could, careful not to slam the door behind him. Harrison said no one else appeared to be home, but someone could be sleeping, and the last thing he needed was to be apprehended breaking into a student's apartment.
He made his way slowly up the stairs, trying to shift his weight quietly between each step. Somehow, it seemed like the quieter he tried to be, the more noise the steps made. When he reached the top of the landing, his heart sped up again.
He rapped lightly on the door "Liv, it's me." he whispered. No response. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. _Oh god, what if she was drugged, what if she's unconscious in there, I have no way to get in._
He slid the key card into the slot, hoping it would work. But the lights flashed red instead of green, and he realized it was only embedded for the front door. Before he could think to call Harrison back to see if there was an alternative way in, he felt himself banging on the door emphatically, in spite of his efforts to remain lowkey.
"WHATTTT," yelled a sleepy, irritated voice from inside.
"Livi, it's me," he shouted, trying to get her attention.
He heard feet shuffle across the carpet and then the door was swinging open,
"Fitz? What are you-"
But she was off her feet and in his arms before she could complete her sentence, his lips devouring hers hungrily, needing to taste Her lips to eradicate the taste of bile and fear that had occupied his throat moments earlier.
She pulled back, looking at him confused, "What's going on Fitz, what are you doing here? And how did you get in?"
His phone rang, interrupting her questions. He pulled it out quickly, "Hey, Harrison," he replied and she raised an eyebrow. "Yep, she's fine, thanks again," he ended the call.
"Harrison? What are you two guys in cahoots now?" she asked laughing.
"Olivia, you scared the living day lights out of me," he mumbled into her neck, still holding her.
"How?" She looked out of the window, finally registering the time sun had been high in the sky when she fell asleep, "What time is it?"
"It's a little past nine, now. I hadn't heard from you since that text about having a fight, I was losing my mind. Don't scare me like that again," he kissed her.
"Wow, I guess that explains why I feel like I've been sleeping forever. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."
He kissed her passionately in response, walking them over to the bed. He laid her down and fell on top of her. She giggled as he playfully nipped at her neck, "I'm just relieved that you're ok. What happened earlier?"
"Ugh I got into a huge blowout with Abby...I poured a jug of orange juice over Edison's head," she added in a low voice.
"You did, **what**?" he asked incredulously.
"I know, I know...I feel really bad about it. I shouldn't have done that. It's just that he was being such an asshole I couldn't stop myself. But still, I had no right to attack him physically. I reminded myself of the person I hate the most when I did that."
He knew she was alluding to her uncle, "Livi you are nothing like that man, _nothing_. You're a kind, loving, patient person. Everyone loses their cool from time to time. I'm sure he provoked you, what did he say?"
"I don't even really want to repeat it," she mumbled, not looking into his eyes.
He felt his jaw clench, "That bad?" He could feel himself growing hot. This guy was an asshole, and he needed to be dealt with, sooner than later.
"Yes...and he alluded to seeing you drop me off. He saw your car."
Fitz sighed, rubbing his hand across her cheek, "Well I wouldn't worry about that for right now. Unless he took a picture, he can't really prove it. Hopefully he didn't see my face or get my license plate, but really nothing we can do about that. We'll just have to be more careful about me not dropping you off up here. That probably includes me getting out of here before anyone sees me." He kissed her nose softly, "Come home with me."
"Okay, she smiled, "just let me just grab some clothes."
"Oh I thought you had stuff at my house?" he asked, wanting to leave sooner than later.
"I brought the stuff back from earlier this week. I was planning to do laundry but I fell into hibernation," she joked.
"Oh you didn't have to do that, there's a service in my building. Doesn't cost anything."
"Oh, I don't mind," she said, "and even so," she added, "I can't wear the same clothes every week."
"I don't care what you wear," he said biting her earlobe and shifting suggestively on top of her.
"Okay babe, well other people might start to notice," she replied laughing.
"So then bring more clothes...I can clear a few drawers out for you," his voice suddenly serious."
"Fitz," she looked at him seriously, "Are you sure?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I have something for you..."
"Something like what?" she eyed him curiously.
"Well, I was going to give it to you later, but now seems fitting," he went into his back pants pocket and fished something out, covering it completely with his large hands. He took her hand into his and placed what felt like metal into her palm. She opened her hand to find two small keys on a plain silver ring.
"Fitz-" she started.
"Liv, I want you to have them. I want you to know you always have someplace safe where you can rest peacefully. You don't have to be in this house with them any time you don't want to, and that includes whether I'm home or not," he said staring into her eyes.
"Fitz-I...," she looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes, but he didn't interrupt this time. He needed to hear how she felt. Maybe he had overwhelmed her, maybe it was too much too soon. He was an experienced man who had had ample time to see the world, and he was beyond sure that she was everything he never even knew he had been searching for. But maybe she wasn't sure. He kicked himself, _you're probably coming off clingy and you're moving too fast_, he reprimanded himself.
"Fitz I love you," she finished. She wrapped her fingers around his ears, stroking them as she kissed him meaningfully. He ground himself into her, ignited by her acceptance of his offering. He started to run his hands up her shirt and she stopped him.
"Babe we shouldn't," she nodded up at the camouflaged camera in the fire alarm.
He stopped himself, raising himself up off of her into a standing position. He walked over to the closet, opening the door and browsing until he found a suitcase large enough for his liking. "Come on," he grinned, "let's get you ready to go home."
* * *
A/N : so next update they'll be going away for his birthday, so this should be great! Do you think Olivia went too far by attacking Edison? Do you think Fitz is moving too fast? Let me know what you think, I'll update this weekend!
12. Firsts
Fitz sat at his desk methodically working through the stack of papers he needed to read before leaving for the weekend. Olivia wanted to hit the road by five, so he had plenty of time to pay attention to each one, and it would also serve to keep his mind from wondering about this surprise. He hated not knowing things and surprises drove him absolutely crazy. He was naturally curious and suspicious, so it took everything in him not to snoop and try to figure out what she had up her sleeve.
He probably would have snooped if he knew it wouldn't disappoint her so much, but she had seemed so excited to be giving him something special that he would be patient and wait through the torture of the unknown. She was worth it, and he was sure it would be good, whatever it was.
He raised his head at a knock on the door, "Hello, Fitzgerald. How are you?"
"Hello Professor Tanner," he replied, keeping it courteous but really not wanting to be interrupted. "I'm good. How's it going?"
"Oh just fine, taking a little break from reading papers!"
"Yes, I'm working on the same thing. I'm trying to get out of here soon," he offered, hoping it would serve as a hint.
"Oh, gotcha. I was just wondering, are you coming out with the department tonight? We're having a little outing, celebrating the new hires. Cheap drinks and lots of intellectual stimulation."
"Sounds like a wonderful time, but no can do. I already have plans," he tried to be vague.
"Well, you don't have to stay for long, you can just drop by," she countered.
"I would, but I'm actually going out of town for a couple of nights. My girlfriend is doing something special for my birthday."
He could see her face visibly drop at the mention of a girlfriend. _Wait, was this her asking me out or something? Oh god...how awkward._ He had spoken to her briefly around the office before, but he had never gotten the impression that she was interested in him.
"Girlfriend?" She raised an eyebrow, "Oh I didn't know you were seeing someone...How come you never bring her around?"
"It's kind of complicated."
"So then I take it she's not coming to the department dinner next week?" she asked, moving closer to him.
"No," he replied uncomfortably, "I don't think she'll be able to make it."
She sat on his desk inches from his hands and lowered her tone, "Hmmm, well that's a shame. If I had a boyfriend as handsome as you, I'd keep a leash on him."
He pushed back from his seat, "Professor Tanner-"
"I'm just wondering," she said in a tone that attempted to be seductive, "how serious is it?"
He crossed his arms, "Very serious. It may seem odd to you that I don't bring her around, but regardless to that, I'm a man in love with an incredible woman. She's my world and I have no reason to look anywhere else...for _anything_," he emphasized, giving her a look that he hoped conveyed his dismay with her persistence.
They both looked over at the sound of his phone vibrating against the desk.
_Saved by the bell_, he thought, as Sweet Baby popped up on his screen accompanied by a photo of Olivia, angelically asleep amidst his huge white pillows. He figured it was safe because her face was mostly covered by the mass of curls she hadn't straightened the night before, except for her bottom lip, his favorite snack.
He still remembered taking the photograph because it was the exact moment he had stopped fighting the fact that he had fallen in love with her, time be damned. All he could think about in that moment was peppering her collarbone and neck with kisses until she woke up and kissed him back. He didn't care that she hadn't brushed her teeth or washed her face yet; nothing else mattered but her kiss. And when she opened her eyes, she smiled at him like the sun rose and set on his face, and she kissed him like he was all she needed in the world. She was everything.
He picked up the phone, "Hey baby."
"Hey babe, how's your day going?"
"Not bad so far, except I can't wait to see you," he shot her a look, "Professor Tanner just dropped by. I was taking a tiny break from reading papers."
"Oh cool. Well I didn't mean to interrupt, I just wanted to ask you one question."
"Sure, what's up?"
"Okay, just pick one: red or black. Don't ask any questions, though."
"On you, or in general?" he asked anyway, ignoring her directions.
She laughed, "I said no questions! But yes, on me."
"Red," he decided quickly. "What are you up to?"
"I don't know, maybe you'll see later," she replied coquettishly. "But I gotta go, I love you."
"I love you more," he replied hanging up.
He turned back to Professor Tanner smiling tritely, "Speaking of the devil."
"Haha yeah. Sweet baby huh?" she asked, referencing her name in his phone.
"That she is...Well, it was nice of you to stop by and invite me, but I really should be getting back to these papers. We're going out of town, so I need to get done ASAP so we can hit the road. Long drive, ya know," he fibbed. Olivia had already told him the drive should only take a little over an hour, but she was incorrigible and he wanted her gone.
"Okay then...I'll see you around. Enjoy your birthday weekend."
"Thanks," he answered as she exited the room.
* * *
As he unlocked the door to the apartment, Fitz could hear the scuffling of something heavy being slid across the floor.
"Liv?" he called, following the sound down the front hallway towards his study.
"Don't come in here," he heard her voice sing out.
He smirked, quickening his gait to get to the room before she could close the door. He stuck his head in the doorway, "What are you up to?"
She jumped in front of the large nondescript package and shielded it from his view with her body. "I **said**, don't," she smiled at him, in spite of his refusal to listen.
"Oh, I thought you said help," he grinned. "Sounds like you're struggling in here. What's that?" he moved fully into the doorway as his curiosity began to get the better of him.
She sighed, "I guess it's too late to make it a surprise now. Come here."
He started over to her as she leaned down to begin opening the box. He wrapped his hands around her waist and she stood, stopping what she was doing to lean back into him. He kissed her neck, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your surprise. I can leave, you don't have to show me now."
She raised her arms to wrap around his neck, "No, it's fine. I'll show you now. I just..l did something without asking your permission, and I hope you like it," she rambled, "but if you don't, it won't hurt my feelings, I swear, so don't feel badly about it, it's totally fine. It was just spur of the moment."
He turned her around to look her in the eye, "Baby. Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll love it."
She grabbed the scissors off of the nearby desk and handed them to him with a smile, "Well, I hope so. But if you don't, it's fine, and it totally comes apart so don't feel pressured."
He took the scissors in hand, carefully cutting the plastic cuffs around the fragile sign in large print upon the box until the he could ably lift the top off of it. He gasped involuntarily when he cleared the styrofoam peanuts and bubble wrap to reveal the contents of the package. "Oh my god. Livi, this is incredible," he breathed, unable to take his eyes away from the box.
It took him a moment to process the beauty of it as he recognized the image beneath the glass to be his own work. It was Rainy Day bordered by the most amazing custom frame he'd ever seen. He ran his fingers over the bluish gray metal, admiring the artistry of the symmetrical vines worked around the edges, infused with golden specks that made the blues and greens of his paints stand out. On the lower left hand side F. Grant III was skillfully infused onto the frame in small raised letters. He ran his fingers over the border, amazed at how much lovelier the piece looked within the glass. He could feel the emotion welling up within himself and he willed himself not to cry.
She sat down beside him, "I'm sorry for not asking your permission. I didn't even know if you wanted to hang it up, but it just kind of happened."
He pulled her into his lap, "Olivia, this is amazing. You're just...this is just...," he could feel himself getting choked up.
"So you like it?"
"Livi, I love it. It's beautiful. I've never framed or hung any of my work...it's just amazing to see."
She kissed him, "Well that's a shame because your art deserves to be in a gallery or museum somewhere."
"Thank you...This is probably the best gift I've ever gotten."
She grinned, "So does that mean you want to hang it up?"
"Most definitely," he stood, grabbing her hand to assist her to her feet. "Help me pick out a spot?"
"Sure," she said finding his toolbox in the corner. "In here or the living room?"
He picked up the large piece, admiring it. "Living room," he decided.
She followed him down the hallway and they stood by the door, taking in the space in order to decide the best spot for the painting.
He noted that the space seemed so much larger now with all the boxes gone now, which was mostly thanks to Olivia. She wasn't exaggerating when she told him she liked organizing and fixing things, and she had taken great interest in unpacking the boxes. She was able to learn a lot about him through their contents and he learned that he truly enjoyed sharing with her. The two of them had spent many nights laying out on the living room floor, toying with old possessions he had long forgotten he owned and swapping stories. He loved talking to her because he felt like she actually _saw_ him; not a box she was trying to force him into, or a potential she wanted him to live up to, but _him_. She opened him up but instead of feeling exposed, he felt free. He could be an open book without fear of being judged with her.
She dropped his hand, moving over to the anterior wall beside the large window, "How about here?"
He walked over, raising the painting to the spot she indicated and placing it there tentatively to see if it fit, "Like this?"
She cocked her head back, "A little higher."
"Perfect," she said as he adjusted it a few inches upward. She opened the toolbox, handing him the hammer and a couple of nails to secure the frame in place.
He stepped back to take it in and felt familiar arms sliding around his waist, "I'm glad you like it."
"You're wrong, I love it," he laced his fingers between hers and gave them a small squeeze. "We should get ready to get going, huh?"
"Yeah it's already 4:30. I'm pretty much ready though, I just needed to run downstairs and get something from the dry cleaning service."
"Okay, well I haven't packed yet, so I'm gonna go do that while you get your clothes," he said, turning to her.
"Oh I started a bag for you. Your shaving kit, toothbrush, socks, underwear and pajamas are on the bed. I figured you would want to pick out your own clothes, though," she offered.
"Liv," he caressed her face, "you didn't have to do that."
"I didn't have to, but I wanted to though,"she smiled up at him, "I mean it **is** your birthday."
"You're gonna create a monster," he chuckled as she grabbed her bag off the table and went out of the door.
He walked into their bedroom, opening up the armoire to decide what he should pack when he realized that he had no clue where they were going or what they were doing, and he didn't know if he should take formal clothes, or just casual ones. He moved over to the dresser across from the bed and noticed some small white papers next to his black dress socks. He picked them up. They were tickets for tonight at 9 for an artist named Sea. He smiled to himself, _She is freaking amazing_.
Sea was an up and coming indie singer that he had stumbled upon while roaming around YouTube, and he had ended up downloading her albums. He had shared her music with Olivia in passing, only on a couple of occasions, so it was touching that she had remembered and gotten tickets to a show for him. Just when he thought he couldn't feel any more for her if he tried, she kept surprising him. He looked at the location on the tickets, _Wentworth Supper Club, NH._
"So you found the tickets?" her smiling voice called from the doorway.
He had been so engrossed in what he was doing he hadn't even heard her come back in the house. "Baby, how did you pull this off?"
She grinned smugly, "I have my ways."
He looked at the tickets again, "But the tickets say 21+, though."
"I've got that covered, too. Huck hooked me up with a bogie."
"A who?" he laughed.
She laughed too, shaking her head, "A fake ID, but an awesome one. He's really good at it."
"Geez, he and Harrison need to start a business or something, they can pretty much handle any situation."
"Actually, we're working on that," she replied. "But, that's a conversation for another day. You almost ready to go?
He kissed her head and squeezed her waist, "Give me ten minutes and I'll be ready."
* * *
It was 6:45 when the GPS was telling Fitz that his destination was on the left hand side. He looked up at the expansive property, impressed with her choice of a hotel. The building was large and welcoming, all white with red accents about the windows and turrets. The marina waters glistened in the chilly winter sun, the waters lapping calmly against the shore and boats, deceivingly beautiful and inviting at this time of year. The valet was whisking the car away and the bellhop was securing their bags before he could object.
As they entered the building, Fitz couldn't help but admire the Victorian style of the edifice and its interior. Every piece of furniture and art appeared elegant and deliberate, the fresh flowers that adorned the walls adding an air of beauty and tranquility. They walked up to the check in desk and were greeted by a friendly front desk assistant, "Welcome to Wentworth by the Sea, how may I help you today?"
"Hello, there should be a reservation for two nights under Olivia Pope," she slid her ID across the counter.
"Yes ma'am, I do have a Mr. and Mrs. Pope staying with us for two nights in our Eastern Turret Suite," they smirked at each other at that, "Please follow Francois with your bags to the elevator."
* * *
On the way up to their suite, she wouldn't stop grinning at him mischievously and he had a feeling that this wouldn't be any regular room. He promised himself that no matter what, he wouldn't mention how expensive everything looked and he wouldn't ask about the price. He could tell she was enjoying spoiling him and making him feel special for his birthday, so he wouldn't ruin it by admonishing her. It actually felt good to let someone do something nice for him, or better yet to have someone care enough to go all out just to see him smile, no ulterior motives.
When Francois opened the door to their suite to unload their luggage, Fitz could only manage a low, "Wow." The suite offered a beautiful 360 view of the marina with sparkling floor length windows all around. It was split into two levels, connected by a spiral stair case. The lower level was a parlor, equipped with an armoire, large desk, couch and a gas fireplace. The upstairs was the bedroom which contained a four post king sized bed, large television, and closet. Connected to the room, was a master bathroom which consisted of a double glass enclosed shower, and beside it a small jacuzzi tub.
He turned to her, "Baby, how in the world did you find this place!"
"Google," she replied simply.
He chuckled, "Touché," he grabbed her arm to bring her close. "I know I've said it a million times today, but again, thank you. This is beautiful."
"You're more than welcome, Fitz. It's the least I could do."
* * *
After touring the suite a little, they decided to get dinner at the restaurant downstairs before getting ready for the show. Olivia had made sure to buy a dress just for the occasion. In the store she had decided upon a simple black dress, conservative in the front but sexy in the back, with a slit dipping down to the bottom of the small of her back. Preferring to let the dress speak for itself, she accessorized simply with small stud earrings and her favorite white gold necklace left to her by her mother.
When she stepped out of the bathroom Fitz was speechless. He went to her immediately, unable to stop himself from caressing her face, "Olivia, you look stunning."
"Thank you," she smiled at him, blushing.
When she turned around to grab her bag his jaw dropped, his fingers immediately moving to trace the small of her back. "Olivia, are you trying to kill me?" he whispered breathily.
"Maybe," she teased him.
He pressed himself into her backside, feeling himself already growing excited. "Let's get out of this room before I lose control," he groaned, the feeling of her ass against his crotch affecting him deeply.
* * *
As they made their way into the supper club, Olivia reveled in the feeling of his hand squeezing hers. It felt great to be together publicly, after being in class together twice a week and having to essentially ignore each other. It was hard and awkward but she made sure always to avert her gaze from him, for fear that someone would catch the unmistakable passion she felt whenever she looked at him. She loved the class, but hated the classroom because it magnified the reality of the fact that their relationship was a secret. And it would have to remain a secret for who knows how long because people would think there was something wrong and dirty about their love.
But looking at the smile on his face tonight, she knew in her heart that there was nothing dirty about what they shared. She loved knowing she was the reason that he was smiling and she would do whatever it took to keep it there, even if that meant having to hide in the shadows for the time being.
The hostess seated them at a booth parallel to the right hand side of the stage, large and slightly angled to allow them a sense of privacy. The round table was romantically set for two with a single candle burning in the middle. The waiter came over promptly to take their drink order.
"May I ask what you two would like to drink tonight?"
He turned to Olivia, "Do you mind if I have a drink?"
"Of course not."
"Great, I'll have a scotch on the rocks."
The waiter turned to her, "And you, my lady?"
"I'll have a glass of the red Bordeaux," she replied.
"Excellent, I'll be right back with your drinks.
Just then the lights dimmed and a figure moved to the center of the stage. The band began to play, and the spotlight shone on the artist they had come to see. Sea sang gently, her voice harmonizing with the band's instruments angelically.
Fitz wrapped his arm around her shoulder, letting his hand rest on her thigh.
He leaned over into her ear, "Baby?"
"Yes?"
"I love you," he kissed her softly.
"I love you more," she took his bottom lip into her mouth, nibbling it gently.
"Impossible," he squeezed her thigh, letting his hand wander dangerously high up her dress.
She leaned into him, placing a hand on his chest to deepen the kiss. He pressed his fingers gently into the small of her back, pulling her as close as he could without pulling her into his lap, still somewhat conscious that they were in public. He felt her hands glide slowly down his chest onto his lap, his manhood stiffening at her closeness and her touch. He groaned into her mouth, her lips tugging on his tongue as her hand wrapped around his length through his slacks.
He gripped one hand around her neck, and used the other to unzip his pants, freeing himself beneath the table. He took her hand in his, moving it to his rock hard manhood and felt her pause for a moment, shocked by his forwardness. He usually always rebuffed her attempts to touch him so intimately, but tonight he was intoxicated by her taste and her love and the scotch.
She broke their kiss, her mouth moving to the sensitive space behind his ear that she knew drove him crazy. He closed his eyes and the rest of the world fell away except for her touch. He bit his lip as her tongue lapped at his earlobe and her palm simultaneously cupped his tip, his body shivering slightly in anticipation of release.
A voice broke his haze, "May I refill your drinks?"
He cleared his throat, trying his best to appear normal and hurry the man off, "Yes, sure."
As the waiter grabbed their glasses and walked away, she giggled into his neck, "Oh my god," she whispered. He was still throbbing but the interruption brought him to his senses.
"You see what you do to me," he chuckled, kissing her and zipping himself up. He cupped her face," I need to be alone with you."
"Well if you're ready, let's go," she whispered, not caring that they'd only been there for less than an hour.
* * *
He couldn't keep his hands off of her the entire way up to their room, their tongues dueling as they ascended in the elevator. He tried to control his desire, but found his hand slipping up her dress to feel the wetness that was just for him. He was on fire and the only thing that could satiate him was Olivia Pope.
As soon as they crossed the threshold of their suite he was removing her dress. Seeing it on her all night had ignited him and wanted it out of the way. He sucked her neck greedily, certain that there would be a mark in its wake in the morning.
"You wanna get in the jacuzzi?" she asked, sliding her hands under his shirt.
"Sure," he moaned back, willing to do whatever she wanted to do.
He followed her up the stairs with his arms wrapped possessively around her waist, each step causing her hips to bring her backside flush against his crotch. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear the entire way up, promises of the pleasure to come. They broke contact at the top of the stairs to change. He put on his trunks quickly and entered the bathroom to get the water going.
When she entered, he couldn't stop his mouth from dropping at the sight of her in her tiny fire engine red bikini. The top was halter style, secured about her neck with two tiny strings that he could easily slip off when the time was right. The bottoms were cut short style, barely covering her ass so that he could see the cuffs of where her backside met her thighs. He wanted to bypass the hot tub completely and ravage her, but instead he forced himself to have control.
He lowered himself into the water; waiting, willing her to come to him. And she did, following him into the water she draped herself across his chest, her hands running softly through his hair. He closed his eyes at the sensation, the feeling of the water jetting around them adding to the sense of serenity that he was experiencing. He slid his hands down her back, under the wet fabric of her bathing suit to feel her soft cheeks in his hands.
He nibbled her earlobe, "I am **so** glad I picked red."
"So am I," she replied, biting his neck temptingly.
Still clutching her bottom, he maneuvered them to the other side of the tub so that her back was against the side. He peered at her through hooded eyes, pressing his hardness against her, "Baby, I need you tonight."
She kissed him softly, "You have me."
He pressed his nose to hers, needing to look in her eyes, "I want to...Can I...make love to you tonight?"
"Yes," she whispered against his lips, excited but nervous for them to take the next step.
He stood quickly, not wasting any time he exited the tub, leaning down to help her up out of the jacuzzi. Once she was on the ground he raised her up, pressing her wet bikini clad body flush against his until her legs naturally wrapped themselves around his middle. He backed up blindly, trying to make it through the doorway, but his backside meeting the wall instead. She laughed at his miscalculation, sliding down his body to the floor and linking her hands behind his neck. He grabbed a towel from the rack and secured it around her body, linking his large fingers with her petite ones to lead her into the bedroom.
He slipped off his trunks and sat on the edge of the bed, his legs spread open for her. She dropped her towel and moved between his bare limbs, swiftly removing her top and letting it fall away to the floor. She moved to take off her bottoms and he stopped her, bringing his lips to her abdomen, her body responding sharply to his kiss. He used his tongue to draw circles on her skin, kissing down until he reached her hips. Gripping her backside, his kisses turned into small bites, wanting to taste and mark her here, his treasure. He pulled her closer until she was straddling him, his mouth finding her breasts, taking turns to nibble each nipple until she squirmed in his grasp, her hips bucking against his cock.
"I want to feel you," he moaned breathily, flipping them over so she was lying on her back beneath him. He slid a finger into the side of her bottoms, looking into her eyes as he slowly pulled them down. He ran a finger over her lips, taking a mental snapshot of the moment. She was giving him an important part of herself and in some way he felt like this was his first time, too. She took his finger in her mouth, her tongue running over the pad of his finger forcing him to groan. He could feel the blood rushing to his member as she grasped his cock between her lithe fingers.
"I want you, Fitz," she whispered.
"I need you, Livi," he moaned.
He went to kiss her lips, but missed, making it only as far as her chin, the feeling of her hold on him making him lightheaded. She guided him to her slippery opening, the head of his shaft finding sanctuary in her shelter. He thrust slowly, trying his best to be gentle while fighting against her internal barrier, until he was half way inside of her. He nuzzled into her neck as she whimpered beneath him, kissing her neck lightly as he moved slowly inside of her, trying to acclimate her to the new sensation before pushing himself further.
He found her lips again, his tongue melding with hers as he stroked, unable to pinpoint where his body ended and hers began. He could feel her walls pulsating against the head of his cock, and he could feel the tension building up in his muscles. Her fingers gliding down the small of his back sent a violent tremor through his body. He thrust deeper, opening her up to almost the length of him and she moaned into his mouth, her legs squeezing his waist. She clutched his back, sinking her nails into his skin as he rocked into her, filling her with himself.
Their tongues still dancing, he used his hand to raise her leg over his shoulder, plunging himself deeper into her. The feeling of her walls gripping him mercilessly pushing him closer to his precipice, his body threatening to betray him. He broke their kiss for air, and a tremor rocked him, "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you, too," she whispered back, and his climax came crashing over him like a tidal wave. He lost all sense of time and space, unsure if seven minutes or seven hours had passed, but when he opened his eyes she was smiling up at him.
His heart felt fifty times its normal size, and he could feel hers beating too. He knew he should get up to clean them off, but he didn't want to break the moment. He was still inside of her, still connected to her, and he felt so whole. She wriggled beneath him and he readjusted them so that she was on his chest. He gripped her hips, kissing her collarbone and neck gently until he reached her face, "Are you okay?"
"Yes."
They laid silent for a moment, him stroking her back and listening to their synchronized heartbeat.
He found his voice, "You're everything I ever dreamed, but never thought I could have. I truly love you, Livi."
"I love you more," she whispered back, and he could hear the fatigue in her voice.
He held her tighter, listening to the even rise and fall of her breathing as she fell asleep on his chest.
* * *
The next morning they awoke after 10, opting to have room service for breakfast in bed, preferring to lounge in front of the tv instead of going out. They flipped through the pamphlet of resort activities and decided to go for a couples massage and then take a moment to check out the tennis courts.
As they were on their way to the indoor courts, they passed a large room and heard numbers being shouted out over a microphone. Olivia looked into the window of the door, "I wonder what they're doing," she pondered aloud.
Just then, an older couple rounded the corner, "They're playing bingo, honey. You guys should join. Good prizes tonight! Come on," the woman motioned to them. "We can all get a table together."
Olivia looked to Fitz and he smiled, shrugging his shoulders in a 'why not' fashion, so they followed them into the hall.
The wife led them over to the sign in table, "I'm Mary, and this is my husband Robert, we just love this place and their bingo nights!" she exclaimed.
Making their way over to the set up table, Olivia decided to be conservative and play three cards, Fitz decided on six, and Mary and Robert each took four. They sat together, making small talk as they waited for the new round to begin.
Mary and Robert gave them tips on things to do in town and what was happening on the resort that night. Their first round was hilarious, with Fitz trying to keep track of all six cards and the numbers being called in rapid fire style, and Olivia trying to tend to her cards and help him as well. Robert and Mary each called a bingo and gave them tips on picking lucky cards for the next round.
What they intended to be only a couple of games turned into three hours of fun, both Olivia and Fitz getting caught up in the rapture of the game. Somewhere between round five and seven, Fitz figured out a system to keep all his cards in order and ended up calling more than his fair share of bingos. When the last round was over, they crowned him King of the Bingo and he took home the prize of a free night's stay on his next trip to the hotel. They parted ways with Mary and Rob, promising to do brunch the following the morning.
They laughed their way back to the suite from the bingo hall, amazed at how random, but fun, the tangential excursion turned out to be.
"Wow, I haven't played in so many years," he bragged, "I can't believe I've still got it."
"You're not that good, it was birthday luck," she teased as they entered their room.
He snatched her through the doorway and pinned her against the wall, "I'll show you birthday luck," he growled sexily.
She kissed his chest, sending a vibration through his body "Show me then," she countered, slipping her fingers through his hair and backing him up towards the small couch. He fell backwards onto the sofa, and her on top of him. She rocked her hips against his bulging erection and he returned her touch, their hips creating a rhythm for the beat of their bodies.
Just then there was a knock at the door. He looked up at it, irritated, "Who is it?" he yelled, she smirked at his irritation.
"Room service," a voice called from the other side of the door.
"I don't remember us ordering any room service," he countered as she jumped up to get the door. Fitz kept a confused look on his face as the attendant wheeled the cart into the room, leaving the covered dish on the desk and exiting quickly.
She removed the top to reveal a beautiful red velvet cake, his favorite, with a single candle lit in the middle. She smiled and began singing happy birthday as he moved closer to her until she was within his grasp, covering her mouth with his.
He broke their kiss momentarily to blow out the single candle on his cake. "I can't tell you my wish or it won't come true, but I can show you."
He lifted her up in his arms, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he carried her back over to the couch. He lowered onto the couch gently and kissed her with a passion he didn't know he was capable of. Their kisses and moans quickly turned greedy, their clothes quickly shedding and and he found himself inside of her again.
He was home.
* * *
The next morning, they rose and dressed quickly for their brunch with Mary and Robert. Afterwards, they packed and checked out, promising each other that they would have to visit there again once the weather improved. On the way back, Harrison called and asked Olivia to stop by to take a look at something with him. As he reentered the city, he detoured from his usual route to drop her off at Harrison's apartment.
"You have your key, right?" he asked, leaning in to kiss her.
"I have it," she returned his kiss.
"Do you want me to come get you?"
"No, I think Harrison will drop me off."
"Okay," he kissed her again, stronger this time. "I'll be waiting for you," he cupped her face, not wanting to let go.
"I'll see you soon," she pecked him quickly. "I love you."
"I love you more."
She smiled as she exited the car and he made his way home in a love filled daze.
_I am a goner,_ he smiled to himself as he entered his apartment complex. His stomach growled and he looked at the time, _Wow five already? Guess I'll start dinner._
He decided on some easy pasta when the doorbell rang. He wasn't expecting anyone, so he figured it could only be Olivia.
"Baby, I thought you had your key," he squeaked out the last part as he opened the door and saw who was standing there.
"Mellie?" He stared at her in disbelief. "What the fuck are you doing here? he bellowed.
* * *
A/N: OMG I hope you guys liked it! I tried to make their first time special. What did you think?! And what about professor Amanda tanner? And Mellie showing up?! Updatin within a couple of days!
13. Mine
As Olivia walked to the door she tried to be cool, but she couldn't wipe the goofy smile off of her face no matter how hard she tried. She was floating on cloud nine and the reason could be summed up in one word: Fitz. From the moment she saw his face light up when he unpacked his painting from the box she knew their weekend would be good, but it had been even better than she could have ever imagined.
_We **did** it_, was all she could think. They had finally done it and it was perfect. If it had been up to her they probably would've done it a long time ago, but now she was so happy they had waited.
She couldn't stop replaying the morning after.
It had been before dawn when she woke up to him still clutching her waist tightly, even in his sleep. She hadn't wanted to move, but she desperately needed to pee. As she wriggled from his grasp, his eyes flipped open groggily, "Where you going?"
"To the bathroom," she whispered.
"Hurry up back," he mumbled, already falling back to sleep.
She used the bathroom quickly and as she went to wash her hands she realized she was still naked. She gazed at her body in the gleaming reflection of the mirror; she still looked the same, but something felt different.
She had looked at the clock beside the mirror and she still remembered the exact time: **4:34**. It was not even five in the morning but she had already had that silly grin plastered on her face. _That was amazing_, she thought as she ran her hands over the small bite marks that littered her breasts, stomach and the tops of her thighs. He had truly ravaged her and she felt sore in a way she had never felt before, but it was a good sore.
She had returned to their bed to lay beside his body, admiring his outstretched form. Before she could turn onto her side to fall back asleep, she had felt his arms, locking themselves around her waist to pull her in close. She felt her body sigh contentedly.
His embrace felt like home.
The last thing she remembered feeling before falling asleep was his finger rubbing small circles into her side before the sun woke her some hours later. She had never been happier.
She was still thinking about their special night when she mindlessly rang the doorbell.
"You're here," he greeted her, "that was quick."
"Yeah," she brushed past him into the house, "we were already on the highway when you called."
He caught up to her, moving her head up slightly to get a better look at her neck, "Jesus Christ, talk about marking territory. Looks like somebody had a good weekend."
She shot him a look, "Harrison."
"Seriously, though," he continued, "it looks like you've been attacked by bees or something. I hope you guys are being safe."
"I am," she tried to assure him.
"You better be, cause if not, I'll kill you," he warned.
She laughed, "I know." She touched her neck as she removed her coat, "Does it really look that bad?"
"Worse," he laughed. He moved closer to get a glance at her collarbone and shoulders once she took off her jacket. "You might as well be a walking hickey. I hope he doesn't look as bad as you do. Are you guys really gonna walk into class on Tuesday with matching hickies?"
She froze, "I didn't even think about that. I don't think so, I mean...I guess, maybe. God, Harrison you're such a killjoy," she chuckled. "That's kind of a reach, though, don't you think? What would be the odds of someone putting that together?"
"I don't know Liv, but don't put it past anyone. You never know who's watching. Invest in a few nice turtlenecks, and tell Hickey McHickerson to keep his mouth to himself. So are you gonna tell me about what happened this weekend?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"What about it?" she tried to play coy.
"Well, I don't know, you've been smiling like a fool since I opened the door, and your skin is more red than brown. You guys went away for a weekend, and it was his birthday. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together."
"I am _not_ talking about this with you," she tried to avoid the subject.
"Why not?" He looked hurt. "We talk about everything."
"I know...but...it's just weird Harrison. You're like my little brother, I'm not really trying to get into details about my sex life with you," she laughed awkwardly.
"Oh god," he rolled his eyes, "one roll in the hay and now you have a sex life," he joked. "Hey, I told you all about my first time and pretty much every chick since then," he rationalized.
"But that's different," she countered.
"You know what, I think I don't really want to know anyway," he said resigned. "I actually don't even want to think about you...yeah, let's not have that conversation. Just promise me that you were safer than safe."
She hesitated and he knew what that meant in Olivia language.
"Olivia, **please** tell me you used a condom."
"Well, I'm on birth control," she started.
He sighed, "Come on Liv, you know that stuff is not 100 percent. And he's old enough to know better too," he shook his head. "You two are killing me."
"Well, condoms aren't 100 percent either."
"Duh, that's why you're supposed to use a barrier method and a hormonal contraceptive, ya dodo. Babies aren't the only thing you have to protect against. You really don't know this guy as well as you think you do, Liv. I know you're out in love lala land somewhere, but you have to use your head, too. Do you know who he was sleeping with before you? When is the last time he's been tested? What if he has something? I know he's cute and he's charming and you think you love him-"
She interjected defensively, "I don't think, I _do_ love him."
"Look, I'm not trying to argue with you, or steal your joy. You love him, okay, and from what I can tell he loves you too, that's fantastic. But sex complicates things, is all I'm saying. All it takes is one time for you to forget the pill or to take it late, and bam, you're pregnant. I don't want to have to hurt him for sticking you with a baby and dipping out."
She sighed, "He wouldn't do that, Harrison."
"Olivia, get a grip. Pretty much every girl says 'he wouldn't' before it happens. What woman thinks their guy is gonna leave? It happened to my mom, and yours too. Be real here, you don't know that for sure. You haven't even been knowing him a whole moon's turn yet. You don't know what he's capable of doing. I like the guy, I really do. And I'm happy that you're happy. But I'm not gonna sit by and watch you be reckless."
He reached beneath the living room table, "Here's a box of condoms. There should be a good twelve left. Use them. Every. Single. Time. And then buy some more. He shouldn't have a problem with that. You say he wouldn't do you like that, but don't put yourself in the position to find out. It's not worth it."
"You're right," she conceded. "I guess I needed to hear that."
"I'm always right," he smirked. "But for real, take my advice. I wouldn't tell you anything wrong. You know me, I'll know if you don't, and you don't want me to talk to him."
"Harrison, **don't**," she rolled her eyes.
"So then be smart. You're on track for graduation next year, your gpa is sky high and I know you have law school dreams. If he's the good guy you think he is, he won't want to get in the way of that, right? Remember, you have a lot to lose, too. Now, onto the real reason that I asked you to come over here. Huck!" He screamed down the hallway, "Bring the laptop please!"
Huck came into the room, "Hey Livia. Jeez, what happened to your neck?"
"Olivia's part of the big girl's club now," Harrison teased, giving Huck a knowing grin.
"Harrison!" She punched him as they laughed at her embarrassment. "God you guys are the absolute worst."
"Oh please," he said, putting her in a headlock. "What in the world would you do without us?"
"Probably die," she joked dryly.
"God, why would you even say something like that," Harrison laughed. "You can take care of yourself just fine, we just work better as a team. But for real though, the shit you're about to see is super disturbing, but I think you need to see it."
"I don't think you should," Huck interjected, "but Harrison wants you to. It's really fucked up, Liv."
"I can handle it," she said seriously, gladiator face on.
He turned on the video and it showed a shadowy figure entering her bedroom, but she could tell his identity by his stature and gait. "That's Edison," she declared in disbelief. Her gut had told her he had been in her space, but seeing proof of it was another thing entirely.
He walked over to her dressers, rummaging through what little clothes she had left behind. Mostly things she hadn't worn in forever, and summer clothes. He rifled through them all, bringing the items to his nose and touching them gently.
"What the entire fuck," she mumbled as he crossed over to her laundry bag, smelling her dirty clothes. She couldn't help but laugh nervously, "He is truly a fucking nut job."
"It gets worse," Harrison warned.
He fast forwarded to Edison laying on her bed, touching himself intimately until he climaxed into her pillow.
"He's nuts, Olivia. Imagine what he would've done if you were home?"
"I don't even want to think about it," she felt sick to her stomach.
"I don't want you over there, period. Daytime or not, let's not take chances. This guy is not playing with a full deck. I have a plan and we're gonna handle this sick fuck."
"You should just let me take care of it," Huck spoke up. "You're angry. You want revenge. You're going to fuck it up. Let me handle it," he added, "alone."
"Huck-" Harrison started to argue.
"Alone, Harrison." He turned to Olivia, "Did you bring back the keycard from Fitz?"
"Yeah, it's on the front table."
"You guys trust me, right?"
"Of course," Harrison and Olivia replied in unison.
"Then let me handle it."
And it was settled.
* * *
"Mellie?" he stared at her in disbelief. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he bellowed.
She smiled callously, "Aren't you gonna invite me in, Fitzgerald? Or would 'baby' be upset to find me here?"
He stepped out into the hallway closing the door behind him, "How the hell did you get past the doorman and how do you know where I live?"
"Don't flatter yourself, it wasn't hard to find you. And I told the doorman I was your wife, he was more than happy to let me up," she stepped closer to him.
"You are **not** my wife," he growled angrily.
"Well my ID says Grant, so how could he argue with me? You had to know there was no way I would give up a name as prestigious as 'Grant' in California. It opens doors, both literally and figuratively. Anyway, you know exactly why I'm here. You know I'm not one to be ignored. We could have been over and done with this months ago, but you simply refuse to comply. Sign the papers, Fitzgerald."
"I'm not signing _**shit**_," he snarled. "Now get the hell out of here before I call the police on your crazy ass. The house is mine. The divorce decree said so, in case you forgot. And I don't don't have to go through this shit with you any more. I divorced you and moved across the country for a reason. Get a fucking hint."
"I see someone grew some balls in the last year," she stood inches from him now, unflinching. "Who is this woman? She's really blown your ego up I see, but don't forget who made you Fitzgerald. You're your father's puppy, and little more, never forget it. I will destroy you, and her too, _whoever_ she is. And you know I'm not bluffing. Sign the fucking papers, and you never have to hear from me again."
"You must really be hard up for money, Mel. It's not like you to beg. What, did you finally get tired of blowing my father for bags and trips? Or did you wake up to find yourself replaced with a new whore? You're little more than a glorified prostitute, and you know what, I don't have to put up with this."
"You keep saying that, but yet you're still standing here. You're only making this harder on yourself. I know you, Fitzgerald. You can't walk three steps on your own without fucking things up. I will find out what you've been up to, and I will ruin you. Or better yet, I'll speed up you ruining yourself. I'm sure your little girlfriend isn't so squeaky clean either, I can pretty much bet on it."
"Is that a threat?"
"No, it's a promise," she smiled coldly.
He stepped closer menacingly, "You **_will_** leave her out of this, and you _**will**_ leave me alone. I don't agree with putting hands on women, but the longer I stand here, the more you look like a monster to me. You have sixty seconds to get lost before I really lose my shit."
She twirled out of his reach gaily, "I'll send the papers over tomorrow, Fitzgerald. If you know what's good for you, you'll sign them. Have your people look them over. I'll even give you another week. After that, it's war. I will get what I want by any means necessary. It's up to you what those means are."
As the door closed to the elevator, he slammed his apartment door shut behind him. Enraged, he made a beeline to the cabinet to pour himself a shot of whiskey in order to calm his nerves.
_The fucking nerve of her showing up here_, he thought as he slammed the empty glass down and poured another. _What the fuck am I going to do?_ He rubbed his temples in search of a solution.
_I could just give it to her_, he thought.
_You can't afford to give it to her, you idiot_, his conscience shot back.
He sighed. The property was valuable, way too valuable to just give away. Especially not to Mellie. He wouldn't give her six pennies at this stage in the game, let alone a home worth six million dollars. Besides, it was the crown jewel of his investment portfolio. He knew if he was ever forced to sell it he most likely wouldn't get its full estimate, but he would be able to get enough to live comfortably until he could plot his next move.
_But if she's having me watched and this relationship comes out, there won't be a next move. My professional reputation will be damned to hell_. He poured another drink at the thought.
_A great weekend to return to **this** bullshit_, he thought regrettably.
_Olivia_, he mused, _What am I going to do with her? It was only by dumb luck that she happened not to be here. Any other day and she probably would've been the one to open the door. That would've been catastrophic,_ his heartbeat increased at the thought. _What am I going to tell her?_
_Don't_, a voice whispered.
He knew he should, but he didn't want to scare her. They had literally just taken the next step and he didn't want her to question how he felt for her. He couldn't bear it if she decided to call things off because of Mellie's presence, screwing things up.
_Well, it's not like Mellie is coming to get back with me, right?_ his mind rationalized. _She's only here because of her greed. The property doesn't concern Olivia, so I shouldn't get her involved, _he tried to convince himself. He poured himself another glass, the first two seeming to do very little to quell his anxiety.
He exited the apartment quickly, checking the hallway to make sure Mellie was actually gone and not lurking in the shadows somewhere. He took the elevator to the first floor, unsure of his intentions until he laid eyes on the doorman.
He turned on him, "Hal, what the **hell** was that?"
"I'm sorry, sir?" he replied with a confused look.
"The woman you let up without calling me first?" he snarled. "That's what doormen are supposed to do, right?" He focused his anger on him.
"I-I- I'm sorry sir," he stammered, "she said she was your wife. She said-"
"I don't care **WHAT** the hell she said!" he replied in a hushed scream. "I've been living here over 6 months, have you _**ever**_ seen me with her?!"
"No, but-"
"Who is the only woman to come and go from my unit?"
"Olivia Pope, sir, but-"
"No buts! I intend for it to stay that way! It's your job to help me do that. That woman is **not** my wife, in fact, she's a stalker. If she turns up here again, send her away. If she refuses, call the cops. End of the story. If she finds her way upstairs again, we are going to have a _serious_ problem. Understood?"
"Yes sir. I'm sorry, sir." he replied, red-faced.
Fitz returned to his apartment in a fog. He returned to the now half empty bottle on the kitchen counter top and looked at the pasta he was supposed to be starting. He wasn't even close to being hungry anymore, but it was dinner time and Liv might be hungry when she got home. He sighed and started preparing the food, drinking the entire time and trying to put Mellie out of his mind.
When he finished the pasta, he went to pour himself another drink and realized the bottle was empty. He went to open another one but stopped himself. He was beginning to really feel the effects of the alcohol, and he didn't want to be completely wasted when Olivia got home. _This isn't me anymore, I don't drown my sorrows in liquor._
He looked at the time: **7:00**. She would probably be home soon, at least he hoped so; she had only been away for less than two hours and his life was already turning to shit.
_Fuck, she's going to be wondering why I've drinking_.
He grabbed the bottle and discarded it under the sink. He cleaned the dishes and finished off a bottle of wine they had opened weeks ago before decided to getinto the shower. He looked at his sad reflection in the mirror as he gargled Listerine to hide the alcohol on his breath. _How did I get back here?_ He hated this. He didn't want to be drinking his sorrows away, he didn't want to be losing control, and he definitely didn't want to be hiding things from Olivia.
_Fucking Mellie, I hate her. She's not going to win this one, I won't let her_
* * *
Harrison pulled into the parking lot and looked up at the Fitz's complex. "Wow, dope building. How the hell does he afford _that_ on a teacher's salary?"
"That's the same thing I've been wondering," she replied nonchalantly.
"Do you want me to look into it?"
She chuckled, "No, Harrison. It's fine, I trust him."
"You're not curious?"
"I am, but I'm pretty sure he's not up to anything illegal. I check his mailbox for him and he gets statements from some stock broker up in New York, so I'm guessing he invests well. It's not really my business though."
"Okay then, if you trust him..."
"I do." She changed the subject, "You wanna come up and say hi? He'd be happy to see you."
"I would, but I have a lot of homework to do that I've been bullshitting on all weekend. No classes tomorrow so I'm gonna stay up hitting the books. Gotta keep that average up! But hey, you should come over Wednesday night, Huck is cooking. Fitz is invited too, of course. I miss you. Ever since you got a boyfriend you don't have time for your little cousin anymore."
"That's not true!"
"Liv, I can count on one hand the number of times we've hung out this semester. Last semester, I saw you pretty much every other day. Now, I have to schedule to call your ass."
"I'm sorry, I guess I _have_ been neglectful. Dinner sounds great, and I promise we'll chill way more. Why don't we study together tomorrow?"
"Awesome. Its no biggie though, I know you're all in love and whatnot. It happens. I'll text you later on about meeting up tomorrow. Just remember what I said." He squeezed her hand, "Be safe Olivia."
"I will, love ya."
"Love you too, later!"
Olivia opened the door to the apartment and found all the lights turned off, which was odd because Fitz always left the lights on.
"Fitz?" she called out to no answer. As she walked down the hall, she could hear the shower running. She was sliding out of her pants when he exited the bathroom.
He stopped short when he saw her sitting on the bed, "Hi," he gave her a small smile.
"Hi." She walked over to him "Are you okay?"
His eyes were red as if he had been crying and his skin was a ghostly shade of white.
He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her close, "I'm fine, I just...maybe I ate something bad at breakfast or something. I missed you, though." He kissed her, "How was Harrison's?"
"It was good, he has a lead on Edison, so they're formulating a plan." She pulled him over to the bed, "You should lay down."
He followed her instructions and laid on the bed as she ran her hand across his forehead to see if he had a fever, "Are you sure you're fine?"
He grabbed her neck and drew her down for another kiss, his tongue quickly pushing past her lips to taste her tongue. She moved to lay on top of him, deepening their kiss and running her fingers through his hair.
"I'm more than fine now that you're here," he returned to her lips with his eyes slightly open, the sight of her comforting his anxious heart.
She moved her lips to his neck, her teeth sporadically gripping his skin, eliciting a throaty moan from him. He struggled to keep eyes open as he traced the sharp lines of her shoulder, "Goodness, babe, I bit you up pretty bad, huh? I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she breathed back, "I don't care."
He took that moment to flip them over, needing to feel her body flush underneath him, her form molding to his.
He ran his lips across hers, hovering mere inches from her face, "Livi," he whispered.
She opened her eyes, "Yes babe?"
"I love you," he kissed her again. "More than words can express," he finished.
"I bet I love you more," she grinned, moving her hands to his waist to undo his towel.
He ground his hips into her as he bit her bottom lip gently, using his hands to quickly hike her underwear down. He slipped his hands over her lower lips, rubbing lightly until she moaned and he could feel her wetness drenching his palm.
He ran his fingers over her clit, squeezing and stroking her small bud until she squirmed in anticipation.
"You're _mine_, you hear me?" he grumbled against her mouth as he lined himself up to her opening and thrust his hard member deep into her.
Using his hands to pin her in place, he pumped slowly, pulling himself halfway out of her wetness to reenter her swiftly. He paused when he felt himself fill her completely, forcing his eyes open to take her in. Her eyes were squeezed shut in sweet agony and she was sexily biting her bottom lip which was swollen from his nibbles and kisses.
He steadied himself, his every nerve bursting with electricity. He felt at one with the universe; the answer to every question he had ever pondered here, embodied in her.
He cupped her face, "Livi, look at me."
Her eyelids fluttered, he could see her fighting to keep them open. He withdrew himself and thrust deep into her again, causing her to moan and she lost the battle to keep them open. He began stroking her again, slowly, "You're **mine**," he whispered breathily. "Say it."
He took her hand which was gripping the sheet and moved it to his chest, over his heart. "_Say it_," he whispered again more forcefully, the scotch and the madness of the day possessing him.
"I-I'm-yours," she moaned out in ragged breaths, straining to get the words out.
He leaned in to devour her mouth, stroking greedily as he felt himself nearing his peak.
He pulled back and latched onto her neck, impressing fresh bite marks upon the old ones. "_Again_," he demanded as he felt her walls clenching around him, he could feel her trembling beneath him, her body reaching its climax.
"I'm yours Fitz," she spat out, her sweet nectar running down his shaft in a downpour.
"And _I'm_ yours, Livi," he moaned, coming after her, his seed filling her up as he collapsed onto her.
They laid heaving onto one another, both trying to steady their breathing. He rotated them so she could lay on top of him, not wanting to crush her with his dead weight. She rested her head in the crook of his neck as they breathed against each other, his fingers tracing her spine lazily.
"Don't leave me Livi," he mumbled, unable to contain his fear.
"I'm not going anywhere," she murmured into his ear, taking his lobe into her mouth, a promise.
They didn't move or talk for some time, they just laid intertwined, listening to each other's heartbeat. Fitz closed his eyes and enjoyed the moments of peace until he felt her kiss his chest and begin to disentangle herself from him.
"What are you doing?"
"I was going to take a quick shower," she looked up at him.
"But you said you weren't going anywhere," he replied with a soft grin.
She chuckled, "I did."
"One minute?"
She nodded, placing her head back onto his chest.
He ran his hands down her bare skin until he was cupping her bottom. He began massaging soft circles into her cheeks, his favorite way to relax her. He loved the feeling of her soft, firm skin in his palms. She moved against him softly, raising her arms to wrap around his neck while nestling her head further into his shoulder. He kneaded mindlessly for moments that far exceeded the minute he requested.
"Livi?" he whispered. Smiling when her only response was even breathing into his neck.
She was asleep in his arms and all felt right with the world.
* * *
"Fitz. Fitz. Baby, it's a quarter to eight, you should get up," she prodded him gently. He needed to be at his office by nine and he was always super slow and methodical about getting dressed.
"Hmmm. Wake me up in fifteen minutes," he groaned, not opening his eyes.
She chuckled, he was worse than a teenager sometimes when it came to getting up in the morning. "Okay," she replied, turning to get out of the bed.
"Where are you going?" he asked, his arm stretching out to block her exit.
"I was going to go make you something quick and get some coffee going."
"Don't worry about it, I'll get something on the way." He moved his hand to her thigh, "Take a shower with me."
"You don't have time for that," she placed her hand over his.
"I'll be good, I promise," he gazed at her seriously.
"Well, I guess I do need a shower."
He smiled, "It'll save water."
She laughed at that that, getting up to brush her teeth and turn on the shower.
Five minutes later he did the same and joined her beneath the stream, immediately pressing her against the wall.
"I thought you were gonna be good," she teased, kissing his chest.
"I am being good," he kissed her forehead.
She shook her head, "Turn around."
He followed directions for once, turning so she could wash his back and arms. She let him do the rest, washing herself as he finished up so as not to start anything. She exited quickly, donning a towel to change the sheets so she could lay down and watch him get dressed.
She was laughing at his big to-do over choosing a tie when her phone went off. She was reading the message from Harrison as she crossed the room to help him adjust his crooked tie job.
"So what are you getting into today?" he asked, resting his hands on her hips as he let her take over."
"Gonna do some reading and homework."
"Are you going to stick around here?"
"For a little bit, but I'm probably going to go over and study with Harrison and Huck a little later."
"Oh, really?" he replied, a bit relieved she was going out in case Mellie decided to pop up again.
"Yeah. I think I've been neglecting him lately, so I'm going to try to see him more. By the way, he invited us over for dinner on Wednesday night, if you're up for it."
"Of course, Harrison and Huck are the coolest. I have to work until about five, so any time after six should be fine."
"Great, it should be fun."
"Definitely." He looked at his watch, "But hey, I should get going. It's already after 8:30."
She leaned up to kiss him, "Have a good day."
He kissed her back intently, grabbing her hips to deepen the kiss. Mid kiss he lifted her up to cradle her in his arms. She giggled as he walked them backwards down the hall, taking his tongue gently between her lips.
He let her down once his back hit the front door. "I love you. I'll be back around six."
"I love you too...call me."
"I will. If you're not already gone, I'll come home for lunch."
She smiled up at him, "Okay."
* * *
Fitz struggled to get through the week in business as usual mode. He was trying not to let Mellie showing up fray his nerves, but as the days passed on and he was no closer to a solution, he was having a much harder time silencing the voice. He didn't know where she was, or when she would show up again and that worried him. The fact that she knew where he lived and had managed to get under his skin unnerved him.
He had a million thoughts running through his mind, but none of the, viable resolutions to his imminent problem. His anxiety was making it hard to relax. When Olivia was around, it was easy, it was impossible to sulk in her presence. Her presence ignited every fiber of his being, leaving him zero mental space to think about anything else.
But at work he was having a hard time focusing and getting through the day. Especially with Amanda Tanner on his ass, bringing him coffee and just generally being a nuisance. He had done everything, including slamming his office door in her face, to send the message home thst he was not interested. However it seemed the more he attempted to rebuff her, the harder she tried. It was taking everything in him not to break professionalism and go off on her.
That Wednesday seemed to go by in a haze, his day mostly punctuated by daydreams of Olivia and nightmares of Mellie.
They entered Harrison and Huck's house a little after seven to find Huck still cooking in the kitchen, and Harrison entertaining himself on the Xbox. Harrison challenged Olivia in some boxing game he had never heard of, and he got the idea to check out what Huck was putting together in the kitchen.
It was at that moment when the idea came to him.
"Hey Huck, what are you making here?" he tried to feel him out.
"Just some chicken, beans and rice. It'll be done soon," he replied nonchalantly.
"Oh cool." He tried to match his disinterested tone, "How's the investigation on Edison going?"
"It's going. It's being handled," he replied shortly, not giving much in the way of an opening for more conversation.
"Great. Glad to hear it. Do you do that often?"
"What?" he asked, not making it easy for Fitz in the least.
"You know...investigate things. Handle things," he tried to sound noncommittal, as if he didn't have a point he was moving towards.
"Sometimes."
"Interesting, how do you find clients?"
"Excuse me?" he continued stirring the pot of rice.
"I mean, do you put up ads? Scour the Internet? Or do you just know people?"
He turned to him,"Is there something you want to ask me?"
"Maybe...It might be kind of inappropriate though," he suddenly felt ashamed. Here he was, a 36 year old man practically begging a college student to handle his problems for him.
Huck turned back to the pot, "Well either ask or don't. I hate small talk."
"I need someone looked into," Fitz rushed out. _I've gone this far, no turning back now._
"Looked into or handled?"
"What do you mean by handled?" Fitz asked, suddenly unsure of what it is that Huck and Harrison actually did.
"If you have to ask, that's not what you're looking for. Who is it?"
"It's...my ex wife."
"I hope you're not telling me you're playing Olivia," he turned to him fully, forgetting the rice.
"No. No way, it's not like that. Its just...She wants a property I own. She's threatening to blackmail me. I need to know why she wants it so bad. Maybe get some dirt on her to get her off of my back before she does something crazy."
"What's her name?"
"Millicent Grant."
"Does she know about Liv?"
"No, and I'm trying to get a couple steps ahead of her before she's even able to discover it."
Huck looked him over seriously, "She has you worried. She must be ruthless."
Fitz sighed, "She loves to play dirty and I don't want Liv in her crosshairs."
"I'll help you. It'll cost you, though."
"Of course, I'll definitely pay you."
He shook his head, "No, I can't take your money. I consider this practice. Just know that you owe me. You owe _her_," he pointed towards the living room where Olivia and Harrison were still being entertained by the game console. "You can pay me off by doing right by Olivia. I'm doing this as a favor to her, though she doesn't know it. We may not talk much, but Liv is family to me. Don't hurt her or I'll be handling you. I'll get in contact with you later."
"But you don't have my number."
Huck gave him a pointed look before turning back to the pot, "I'll get in contact with you later."
* * *
**A/N: So I hope this chapter answered a lot of questions! What do you think about Olivia effectively ignoring Harrison's advice? Do you think Harrison was out of line for his spiel? Is Fitz wrong for not telling Olivia about Mellie? Is he crossing the line by asking Huck to get involved? Especially without her permission? Can't wait to hear your opinions, thanks again for reading and extra thanks for the reviews!**
14. Handled
_A__/N: This one is a little long. Let me know what you think! Hope you guys enjoy!_
* * *
Fitz woke up before his alarm on Thursday morning. His mind was wide awake, but his body was still tired, so he was content to lay there unmoving. He wasn't sure how it had happened, but during the night they had switched from him holding her, to her holding him. He had awoke with his nose in the soft crux of her neck and his left hand splayed possessively over her stomach. She held onto him like a life preserver, her arms draped around his back and both of her legs clasped around his right one. He wished he never had to leave this position.
"I love you," he whispered as he traced her neck with his tongue, not caring that she couldn't hear him. He was addicted to the taste of her skin, the feeling of her soft warm body beneath his and the sound of her gentle breathing in his ear.
It should've been getting easier each morning to disentangle himself from her sleeping body, to kiss her goodbye, secure in the fact that he was coming home to her, his Livi. But it wasn't. In fact, it was getting harder.
He was falling for her more each day, wanting and needing her presence more every second. Her love was like a virus, inserting itself into every cell of his body until every inch of him was affected by her. Whether she knew it or not, she controlled him. He watched for her, he waited for her, and only her. She had shown him happiness of the magnitude that he was never able to find in the money or prestige or power that his old life had offered him. The type of happiness his upbringing had convinced him didn't exist, except for in novels.
_But this is real_, he thought, _She is real._
A wide grin spread across his face as he gently kissed her jaw, _And she's all mine_.
The sound of his phone vibrating on the nightstand interrupted his thoughts and he looked at the time: **7:26**. He was pondering who could possibly be calling him this early in the morning, when Huck's promise to get in contact with him last night dawned upon him. He grabbed it quickly, disentangling himself from her as he brought the phone to his ear.
"This is Fitz," he answered, not bothering to look at the screen.
"Good morning sunshine, it's me," a woman's voice rang out from the other end.
He pulled the phone from his ear to check the caller id and noted that the number wasn't saved and he didn't recognize it.
"Who is this?" he asked carefully, already somewhat sure of the identity of the person.
"It's Amanda, silly."
"Professor Tanner?" he huffed in disbelief. "Why the _hell_ are you calling me, and how in the world did you get my number?" he demanded with bass in his voice.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" she asked obliviously, as if he should've been expecting her call. "I got it from the employee directory...I didn't think you would mind."
"You are seriously crossing the line. I don't know why you're calling me, and honestly I don't care. Lose my number," he hung up, not waiting for a response.
"Who was that?" a voice rang out behind him. He jumped, startled by her question.
He turned to lay back down beside her, "I'm sorry baby, did I wake you?" he pulled her into his arms.
She chuckled, "Well, you were kinda loud. What happened?"
He sighed, eying her seriously," I guess there is something I should tell you."
"Something like what?" she asked cautiously, as if she were afraid of the answer.
"There's this woman...one of my coworkers, Professor Tanner. She's been kind of hounding me for the past week or so."
"Hounding you like how?" she leaned up on her elbows, her curiosity piqued.
"She pretty much asked me out. Just being flirtatious and coming by my office randomly."
"Oh...Is that why she was there last Friday, when I called?"
"Yes," he replied solemnly. He felt bad under the weight of her questioning, like somehow he was complicit in her actions by not completely shutting things down before it got to this point.
"So...What did you say?"
He kissed her nose, "What do you think I said? I told her I'm madly in love with a woman that leaves me wanting for nothing."
"And she's still been been bothering you?"
"Yeah, it sounds crazy, but she's kind of relentless."
"Fitz, why didn't you tell me?"
"I just...I didn't want you to worry about it. She's annoying, but it's nothing I can't handle. I don't want you to let it worry you."
"I won't lie, it does bother me...but you have to work with her, and I trust you. I mean, you are the hottest guy on campus," she joked. "I had to expect that there would be some competition."
"Livi, **no**," he ran his finger under her chin. "There is no competition. I'm yours. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried," he smiled. "You have nothing to be worried about."
She smiled back and kissed him, trying not to let it get under her skin, "I'm guessing she's going to be at the department dinner tomorrow, huh?"
"Unfortunately. But I'm going to stick with Cyrus, who doesn't seem to be too fond of her either, so hopefully she'll keep her distance. I've told her I'm not interested in every language but Chinese. I really want to tell her off, but I also have to maintain some semblance of professionalism."
"I understand," she conceded, kissing his neck and wrapping her arms around his midsection. She sighed, "I love you Fitz...more than anything."
He gently grabbed her hair and pulled her face out of his neck. "Say that again," he demanded with a smile.
"I love you, more than anything."
"Olivia, I didn't even know what love was until I met you."
He could see her face relax and she felt a little lighter in his arms. He was glad she wasn't freaking out about the situation, but the whole thing was bothering him more than he cared to admit to Olivia right now.
_I need to get this woman off my back, and quickly,_ he thought. _But first I need to fix this Mellie situation._
* * *
Fitz was sitting at his desk reading documents when he got the text:
**We should talk. Come over for lunch. I'll be home all day.**
There was no name attached and the number that appeared as the sender had fourteen digits instead of ten. Untraceable. It had to be Huck.
Fitz looked at the time: **11:37**.
_Not quite noon, but close enough_, he figured as he packed his briefcase in preparation to head out to Huck and Harrison's for his break.
He was closing the door to his office when he saw her out of the corner of his eye making a beeline for his office. _I don't have time for this_, he thought as he tried his best not to let out a loud sigh.
"Hey Professor Grant, Can I-"
"No," he interrupted not allowing her to get a word in. "In a rush, gotta go." He booked it quickly down the hall in the opposite direction, happy he could avoid her presence.
* * *
Fitz knocked on the door nervously as he looked around the block, hoping he didn't look conspicuous.
Huck opened the door within seconds, side stepping wordlessly to allow him entry. He followed him down the hall past closed doors behind which he could only assume what was lurking.
"Is Harrison home?" he asked, trying to ease the awkwardness.
"No," Huck answered simply, sticking to his 'no small talk' motto.
He slowed and turned into a room whose door was slightly ajar and Fitz could see it was filled with computer monitors. One screen in particular drew his eye when he noticed that there was a picture of Mellie in the center of it.
He walked over to the pc, taking in the information beneath the photograph.
"Whoa, how'd you get this?" he asked wondrously.
"The Internet."
It had been less than twenty four hours since he'd asked Huck to look into the situation and he already had Mellie's phone numbers, last known address, photograph, education history and a list of close relatives. He noted that her last registered address was one of his father's Santa Barbara properties.
"Jeez, you got all this from just a name?"
"Yeah, it's nothing impressive. Standard information. Pretty much anyone who has a couple of dollars on a credit card and a name can get access to that on the web. The interesting stuff takes a little more effort."
"Were you able to find anything interesting?"
"Think so. Depends. What's the nature of her relationship with your father?"
He chortled, "I'm not completely sure. I caught them sleeping together. I think they were also involved with some shady business dealings with the former Governor of California, but I don't have any proof."
"Hmmm," he muttered while punching keys rapidly. "You say she's been trying to blackmail you, right?"
"Yeah, I have a house out in the hills. We fixed it up some years ago and now it's worth a grip. She's been hassling me about it over email and such, but just she popped up randomly at my house last weekend. No warning. She seemed desperate."
He pulled up a message on the screen, "I think I know why. I hacked into her e-mail. She's been going back and forth with your father. He accuses her of stealing from him. Not too many specifics over email, but more than they ever should have put in writing. From what I can gather, he's been threatening her. Lots of calls between their numbers. Apparently, he threw her out of the house he was letting her stay in. Wants the money back that he says she took, or else. Her bank accounts show she's pretty close to broke, so that's probably why she's hounding you for it."
"Wait, you got into her bank account?"
He shrugged, "Once you have access to someone's main email, you pretty much have their life in your hands. So do you want me to handle her?"
"I'm not sure what that means," Fitz shifted uncomfortably.
"I can make sure she never bothers you again."
"I don't necessarily want her dead, just out of _my_ life. Besides, I couldn't live with myself putting that blood on your hands, Huck."
"I never said that. But anyway, there might be another, less morally offensive option."
"Like what?"
"Meet up with her. Offer her some quick money. She won't refuse. Might open up a can of worms, though, where she comes back begging in the future. But at the very least you'll get her out of your hair for now. I know these types."
"I could do that. I have some assets I could liquidate, but nowhere near the tune of the six million that the house is worth."
"The way I see it, she would probably take 150k and be done with it. Would be her most viable option at this point. She owes your dad about 98.8k, and he's growing impatient."
He felt a smile come across his face and a sense of relief washed over him. He pulled out his phone and began sending a text, "Yep, sounds just like the dad I know. I'm going to set up a meeting with her right now."
"Great, let me know if there's anything else I can do."
* * *
Fitz had made it through the rest of Thursday and Friday unaccosted and all the more relieved for it. Professor Tanner had been occupied with some on campus conference that he was not involved with, so fortunately for him, their paths hadn't crossed for the majority of the past couple of work days.
Shortly after leaving Huck's, he had heard back from Mellie and they had set up a meeting the weekend. With that situation temporarily ameliorated, he was breathing a bit easier. Right up until an hour and a half ago, he had been feeling so much lighter, but this dinner had gone downhill, fast.
Even though they couldn't be together at this function, he and Olivia had gotten dressed together and the mood had been lighthearted. He had kissed her into and back out of her dress twice before they made it out of the door, and he had figured the three hours would go by decently enough.
However he knew from the moment Professor Tanner strutted into the hall that this night was not going to go down uneventfully. The room was small and quaintly decorated for the law department's spring dinner, and the atmosphere was friendly, but academic. It was an opportunity for the faculty, majors and local alumni of Harvard to mingle and network, but Amanda Tanner was more appropriately dressed for a night out on the town.
The top of her low cut black dress barely covered her breasts and stopped mid thigh. She wore her hair loose about her shoulders, teased and moussed to the heavens. Her heels were closer to stilettos, and they were carrying her directly towards his table.
Somehow she had finagled a seat next to his.
Of course he had the misfortune of being sandwiched between her and Cyrus, who had consumed more than a couple of drinks beforehand and was finding much entertainment in watching her torture him during the course of the evening. She made sure to take every opportunity to dramatically lean over him while talking to others at the table to showcase her breasts. She clutched his arm every chance she got, trying to hold his hand and completely unfazed by his obvious revulsion at her touch. He was trying not to make a scene, but she was forcing his hand.
He got up to mingle with others as soon as the program of the dinner allowed them to move from their seats, attempting to put distance between them. Nevertheless, she found a way to interject herself into every other conversation he began, trying to make it appear as if they were together somehow.
He had been conversing with a fellow councilman and his wife, who was also a Harvard alumni, when she traipsed over gaily and stood beside him. He felt his jaw clench at her presence and he cringed when she tried to loop her arm within his. He shifted his stance to put her off without making it painfully obvious to the couple in front of them that she disgusted him.
"Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend?" the councilman's wife asked, sensing the tension in the air.
"Yeah Fitzgerald," Professor Tanner leaned over and kissed his cheek, "you're so rude! Introduce me to your friends!" she exclaimed.
He froze, turning and giving her a look that could kill.
"Excuse me," was all he could muster as his face turned a sickly shade of white. He quickly removed himself from the threesome, absolutely livid. He was unsure of how much of it Olivia had seen and he hoped she had been distracted and missed it somehow. All hope of that vanished as he scanned the room and recognized her form stalking across the room towards the exit, her pace and body language screaming that she was not happy.
_This is a bad idea_, he thought as he put down his drink down and followed her out against his better judgement.
He paced in front of the bathrooms, trying not to look suspicious, but luckily, the hallway was empty. When she finally came out he could see her eyes were red and she looked beyond pissed. He wanted to go to her right there, scoop her up and plant kisses all over her pretty neck, but he couldn't and it was killing him.
They needed to talk though and he could see on her face that it couldn't wait. He nodded down the hall and motioned for her to follow him. He walked until he saw an empty room at the end of the hall. He looked around to make sure they were alone before grabbing her hand and pulling her inside.
Once safely across the threshold she tried to wrangle her hand from his, but he held it firmly. He gathered her in his arms and she pressed her face into his chest. He could feel the anger in her body, in the way she held onto him. He moved his hand up and down her back to comfort her. They stood there like that for a minute, until he found the words to speak.
"Livi, baby, I'm sorry about this," he wasn't sure what to say to make this better.
She shook her head no, "I don't like this Fitz. I don't like **her**. She's doing this on purpose."
"Well I don't like her either, so we have that in common," he tried to joke lightheartedly.
She withdrew herself from his arms and shot him a look that told him that now was not a good time for joking.
He sighed, "Olivia, I'm really trying here."
"I know," she sounded defeated. He hated hearing that in her voice.
He closed the distance between them again, needing to be close to her. He took her face in his hands, trying to read her eyes and finding a mix between rage and hurt. He kissed her lips and his heart sunk when she didn't kiss him back.
It was worse than he thought.
She turned her head, "I think I'm gonna go."
He released her face, suddenly worried, "Where are you going?"
She turned back to him, "Home...It's probably best that I don't stay."
"Okay," he felt a little bit better at hearing those words. "Believe me, I'm going to handle this, I'm not going to let her get away with this," he said cupping her face. "Livi...," he tried to make eye contact but she cast her eyes down.
"I'm going to go," she stopped him before he could say anything else. They were already chancing it going missing together, if everyone returned to their seats he couldn't risk someone linking their disappearances.
"Alright," he kissed her forehead. "I'll see you at home."
She slipped out of the door wordlessly and he sighed.
He waited some minutes in order to space out their departure from the room and found himself getting angrier by the second. Olivia, his Livi, was upset with him because another woman was hanging all over him and she wouldn't back off, and he couldn't say he didn't understand why.
He would have probably pulverized the guy who attempted only a fraction of what Professor Tanner had pulled tonight. The woman was making his life unnecessarily difficult. With the Mellie situation on his plate, he had been neglecting to deal with her altogether, but now that he had a plan formulated, it was past time he spoke with Professor Tanner face to face before things went any further.
When Fitz reentered the hall he was seeing red. He had had beyond enough with her antics. He had never seen Olivia like that before and he hated that he had been the cause of it, no matter how much he tried to avoid the conflict.
He spotted Professor Tanner standing by the punch bowl and approached her casually and with a genial tone to avoid drawing attention to them.
"I need to speak to you," he motioned towards the doors, "in the hallway."
"Okay," she smiled widely, following him out easily.
He turned on his heels to face her as soon as the door was shut behind them.
"This has got to to stop."
"What?" she asked with a silly smile on her face that he desperately wanted to wipe off.
"**What**?" he huffed. "_What_?" he chuckled at the ridiculousness of it, softly at first and then harder until he was full on laughing. "Are you completely mental? What is that you _want_ from me?"
"Fitz, I-"
"You do **not** call me that. We are **not** friends, we are **not** dating, you do _not_ know me by any stretch of the imagination. I am Professor Grant to you. We are co-workers. That is it and **all** we ever will be, and we're barely that. We just happen to work in the same department with offices in the same wing. There is no real reason for us to interact. So on that note, stop coming by my office. Please. I'm begging you at this point. I don't know if you think I'm playing hard to get, or if no means yes in your world, but I'm not entertaining this any more. This is your final warning. Sexual harassment works both ways, you know."
"I thought you had a girlfriend," she responded incredulously, completely ignoring his entire rant.
"What?" he growled, not following her train of thought.
"You said you had a girlfriend and she wouldn't be here tonight, but you have lipgloss on your lapel. That wasn't there before," she pointed out.
"Back **off**," he snarled as he turned on his heels and left her standing there dumbfounded.
* * *
Fitz fumbled with his keys in the door. The scenes with Olivia, Professor Tanner and the wine spritzers clearly impeding his motor skills. He was worried about what would be waiting for him on the other side of the doorway. When he finally managed to get the door open, she was sitting on the tiny love seat in the living room wearing just his navy t-shirt, waiting for him.
"Hi," he said softly, closing the door behind him.
"Hi," she stood and tried to smile at him. "Fitz, I..," she started in an apologetic tone, her voice shaking.
He went to her and pulled her back down onto the small sofa. "Livi," he whispered as he stroked her hair softly. He was just happy that she wasn't icing him out anymore.
"Baby, I'm sorry," she apologized with her face in his shoulder.
"You don't have to-"
"No, let me finish," she stopped him. "I do have to apologize...I was wrong. That was really immature of me, and I didn't mean to be so..._stupid_."
"Livi, it's fine. If the shoe were on the other foot, I don't know if I could've stopped myself from making a real scene."
"I just, I don't," she was becoming frustrated with the words that she couldn't find to express herself. "Fitz, I don't want to lose you...I don't want to push you away by making a big deal over stupid stuff. It's just, seeing her all over you. I was just...furious. But I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
"Olivia, you could never lose me, do you hear me? _Never_. I love you." He pecked her lips, "I. Love. You. You're all I think about."
She smiled and hesitated,"Fitz...can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Who was the last person you were with...before me?"
He was taken aback, "Where is this coming from?"
"I dont know...Just curious," she eyed him seriously.
He ran his hands through her hair, "My ex wife. About six months before our divorce was official...so about a year ago."
"Did you guys use protection?" she ventured, her mind unable to stop wondering ever since she'd had that talk with Harrison.
"Sometimes," he answered honestly.
"Have you been tested since then?"
"Yes, twice. I have the papers if you want to see them. After I found out she was also sleeping with my father, it was pretty much over for that."
"Oh," was all she could muster, shocked by the tidbit about his father and ex wife. She also wasn't sure how she felt about him having been with someone else unprotected. She knew he was no wear near virginal at 36, and that he had been married, but somehow it still bothered her to think of him with another woman. Kissing her and touching someone else the way he touched her.
"Baby," he interrupted her thoughts, "is something on your mind?"
"No," she found herself at a loss for words.
He covered her mouth with his, desperate to wipe the frustration and tension off of her brow. He was hers, forever if she would have him, and he needed her to believe him when he said it.
She allowed him in without hesitation, returning his intensity, her hands desperately clutching his collar as if she was afraid he would slip away from her. He wrapped his hands around her hips to pull her closer to him as he laid back and felt himself teetering on the edge of the love seat. He didn't care though, his only thoughts were on kissing away her fears.
The next thing he felt was the floor coming up to meet his back.
"**Argh**, shit," was all he could manage as he hit the floor.
She stuck her head and arm over the side of the sofa, "Oh my god, Fitz, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just more shocked than anything," he chuckled.
She giggled softly, allowing herself to chuckle at his unceremonious fall after she knew he was fine. But her giggle turned into a full out hearty laugh and he just laid there smirking at her.
"Funny, huh?" he challenged her.
He grabbed her arm and swiftly snatched her off of the couch onto his chest. "Now who's laughing?" he asked, tickling her gently. "I think we need some real furniture, baby. This love seat is just not cutting it."
"We could go look tomorrow or Sunday, if you want. I noticed a couple of billboards off of exit 10 when we were on our way back last weekend."
He smiled at her adoringly. He picked up her left hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing each digit slowly while gazing into her eyes. He held onto her ring finger, "Olivia, You are the love of my life. When I look at you, I see forever. One day, _soon_, if you let me, I'm going to make you my wife," he declared, a promise.
"Baby..." she didn't know what to say so she kissed him, gently at first and then stronger. She lost herself in his mouth and she could feel his hands roaming her body. He was _hers_. No matter her doubts and fears, he came home to her every night and told her he loved her before he left every morning. _Stop worrying_, she told herself, trying to quell her anxiety.
He broke their kiss, "Do you want that?"
"Hmmm?" she groaned hazily, disoriented by his kiss.
"Do you want to be my _wife_, Olivia?" his voice serious as he searched her face.
"I do," she smiled at him.
"Good, because I can't picture my life without you."
She kissed his lips and his Adam's apple passionately as she undid his collared shirt. "Fitz, I need you," she muttered as she brought her lips to his muscled pecs. He never seemed to go to the gym but somehow his body was in tiptop shape. He let out jagged breaths as she drug her tongue over each grove of his chiseled abdomen, memorizing each line and dip.
"Livi," he moaned as she swirled her tongue around his navel, wanting to taste each inch of him while admiring the wiry auburn hair that covered him. From afar the cluster of hairs seemed a deep chestnut brown, but up close she could see the beauty of each individual hair, flecked with gold and reds.
She unbuttoned his dress pants and sucked at the hair that adorned his treasure trail. She released his engorged member from his slacks as she peppered his pelvis with light kisses, purposely neglecting his throbbing member. He wrapped his hand around his manhood, stroking it slowly as he watched her through hooded eyes.
She laced her fingers over his, wanting to feel the cock that got hard just for her. He was belonged to her and she needed to feel it. She needed to know that he was hers as much as she was his. No matter how many women he had been with in the past, she wanted to see how his body and soul responded only to **her**.
She ran her tongue over his shaft and he moaned louder than she had ever heard him.
"God," he mumbled breathlessly as he struggled to maintain his composure. It had been years since he felt lips wrapped around him, and the fact that it was Olivia was quickly sending him over the edge.
"Baby, you don't have to," he chewed his lip for strength as he started to stop her.
"Fitz...I want to please you. _Please_...let me please you," she pleaded. "Show me how," she added.
He could see it in her eyes that she wanted this. He gripped his fingers in her soft curls and guided her as she used her lips to take him above cloud nine.
She took him in her mouth wholly, tears filling her eyes as she tried hard not to gag. She could feel every vein in his engorged member bulging against her tongue as she strained to swallow each inch. He tasted salty and sweet and she loved it.
She sucked his shaft gently, trying to keep her teeth off of him as she ran her tongue over his tip. His eyes rolled into the back of his head involuntarily as he ran his hand through her hair to try to pull her back, the sensation threatening to overwhelm him. She could feel herself getting wetter at the sight of him losing control because of the pleasure she was providing.
"Shit," he moaned as she took him down her throat. He could feel her fighting not to choke on his length. He withdrew himself from her mouth and reentered her slowly, making love to her beautiful lips. She moaned as he drug his fingertips across her back and could feel himself about to climax at the vibrations emanating from her throat.
He wrapped his fingers around her neck and pulled her up to let their tongues wrestle. Nothing in the world compared to her kiss and he needed it, _now_.
As his lips consumed hers he ripped her panties off, his fingers seeking her wetness automatically.
"Mine," he groaned as he slipped his fingers into her overflowing canal. It was her turn to whimper as his fingers exploring her frantically. He leaned up to reposition them as she wrapped her hands around his neck. He sat up, digging his fingers into her hips so he could raise her tiny body and lower her onto his throbbing cock.
They had made love numerous times throughout the week, but he could still feel the resistance when he entered her, reminding him that he was her first, her only.
Her walls absorbed his member greedily, moulding to his shape immediately. She was made for him. She started to move against him, his arms rocking them as she rode him slowly.
He used his hands to guide her until she picked up the rhythm. Snaking his hands up her middle over her abdomen, caressing her breasts, until he wrapped his fingers about her neck. She opened her eyes slightly when she felt his fingers tracing the soft curves of her lips and nose. He loved the feeling of her on top of him, controlling the pace and guiding him to his climax. He dug his fingers into her shoulders, trying hard to bring her body closer to his.
This was the feeling he had been searching for his whole life.
She moaned in spite of herself, try as she might to contain her cries of pleasure. She could feel him deep within her, filling the void that no one else could. He wasn't just touching her physically, he was hitting a spot within her soul. She felt intoxicated as she rode the wave of her orgasm with his lips gripping her breast.
She smiled as she heard his voice float into her ears and he filled her with himself. "You're the only one for me, Livi," he whispered, his lips cascading over her collar bone, "The. Only. One."
And that was all she needed to hear.
* * *
Edison sat on the couch sipping his beer, listening to Abby hurl instructions at the television movie.
"Don't go in there you idiot!"
"Why would you fallll, you dumb bitch!"
He was over it. Beyond over it. He was over her drinking, he was over her boring sex, he was over her complaining. He had only gotten into this predicament because he wanted to get closer to Olivia, not to mention under her skin, so he used Abby. Somehow, he had ended up becoming her real boyfriend in the process.
He felt bad for her because although she was pretty, she had zero self confidence, and therefore allowed him, and others, to walk all over her. In fact, her submissiveness was the exact reason why this charade had been carried on for so long.
When she got drunk, she was a crap shoot. Some nights, she would be fun Abby who wanted to go downtown to hit the bars and pick up women to bring home with them. Those were the good times. Other nights, she would be boring Abby who wanted to get drunk at home and hurl expletives at the television.
"Eddy, _Eddy_," she prodded him.
And then there were the nicknames which he hated, most of which was Eddy.
"I thought I told you not to call me that," he hated the shit with a passion. It reminded him of some low class, unrefined hick. Edison was a dignified name, and he would not have it butchered so.
"Come on Eddy, why do you have to be such a poor sport? You don't seem into the movie," she slurred, already drunk off of the supply of arbor vintage she never let go out of supply in the house. "What were you thinking about?"
"Nothing. Just wondering, when was the last time Olivia came home?"
"I don't know, and quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!" She exclaimed with a smile. "I haven't seen her since we had that big blowout.
She eyed him suspiciously, "Why do you care anyway? The last time you two were in the room together she had you outfitted in OJ surprise. I hope you're not still obsessed with her."
"I have never been obsessed with her, _Abigail_," he enunciated, knowing that using her full name grated her nerves.
"Yes, you _were_," her voice was full of venom. "You would have licked the bottom of her shoes if she asked you to. I mean, God, is she that pretty?"
_She's beautiful,_ he wanted to correct her, but he didn't, knowing that it would escalate things before he was ready to take it there. "No more obsessed with her than you are, Abby. I was just curious, that's all."
"Right, _curious_," she emphasized mocking him. "Always so fucking curious about your precious little Olivia. She doesn't care about you, Edison. Don't think I don't see the way you eye her room, and look at her whenever she comes around! She doesn't fucking want you, so you're _**mineee**_ now, Edison. Love the one you're with!"
He was quickly losing his patience, "Abby let's get one thing straight here, I don't love you and I never will. You're a good time, end of story. I'm your boyfriend because the title makes you feel better about blowing me on the daily, that's it. Now remember to watch who the hell you're talking to in that tone. I think you need some time to think on things," he stood to leave. "Maybe, I will see you tomorrow."
"So, she was right! You **were** just using me to get close to her! I was just a tool for you! I bet the whole time you were with me you were wishing I was Olivia! What did you think, she would see you with me and be jealous? Come crawling back to you?!" she screamed wildly, her arms flailing in the air.
_Duh bitch_, was all he could think as he shook his head. "Abby, you don't want the truth. You couldn't possibly handle the truth."
"You asshole!" she screamed and he could hear the hurt in her voice.
"Cut the fucking dramatics, okay? It was a couple of months of fun, nothing more, nothing less. Quit acting like I promised you something. You got more trinkets and sex than you could have ever hoped to get otherwise. Be thankful for what it was worth." He turned his back on her to leave and felt weight on his shoulders seconds later.
_I know this bitch didn't jump on my back_, he murmured to himself.
"You are not leaving me, Edison!"
He tried to wrangle with her without losing his balance, but she had the grip of a monkey. "Abby, stop! Let me fucking go!"
He used what force he could muster to throw her off of his back, and she hit the floor with a thud.
He raised her up off the ground by her t-shirt, "Are you fucking crazy?! You could've hurt yourself, or caused me to really hurt your ass. What if you had hit the corner of the cabinet or the wall? You are bonkers. This is over, we are **done**."
She was still screaming his name to come back as he slammed the car door and was backing up out of the driveway. He was slightly irritated, but overall happy to be done with her. He just hoped that their little altercation in the kitchen would be forgotten in the morning. The last thing he needed would be for her hysterical ass to call the cops and try to press a battery case.
He sighed, _See what I go through for you Olivia_, he muttered into the air as he pulled up in front of his house.
"Derrick?" he called out for his housemate as he opened the door to a dark house. There was no answer, so he assumed he was downtown enjoying his Friday night. He looked at the time:** 10:11**. There was still enough time to change his clothes and salvage what was left of the night.
Edison ran quickly up the stairs to his room to change, kicking off his shoes as he opened the closet door.
He felt warm liquid drip down his leg as a figure behind him wrapped a large hand around his mouth. _Fuck_, was his last thought as his mouth went dry and he lost consciousness.
* * *
When he came to he was strapped to a cot. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he realized he was no longer in his room, but in the basement of his house. He noticed a dark form beside the cot, but he was dressed in all black and his face was completely covered. The only part of him that remained exposed was his eyes, the blacks of which glittered ominously in the moonlight that streamed through the small window.
_This man is definitely more foe than friend,_ he decided quickly.
He strained to scream but his throat was drier than the Sahara, so all he could manage to get out was a little squeak.
"You awake, Edison?"
He moved his head as far as the restraints allowed him to get a glimpse of his captor. "Don't try to scream or move, or risk hurting yourself. The choice is yours."
"Who are you?" he managed to rasp out.
"I don't know, and that's not really important right now. The good thing is, I do know who you are, Edison Davis. Third of his name, birthdate May 22, 1992. Father is the current mayor of Bridgeport. Graduated top of his class from The Lawrenceville School. Now, let's play a game. I'm going to list a few things and you tell me what they have in common: Alexis Smith, Donna Hague, Elizabeth Crews, Olivia Pope."
Edison felt his eyes widen at the list of names. He didn't know who this man was but he didn't like this, and he wasn't about to go along with this willingly.
He coughed, trying to clear his throat, "I don't know. They're all women?"
"Funny, but I don't like when people mock my game." He used a small knife to slice a thin straight line through the front of his shirt and pants. He used a hand to pull at the articles of clothing and they fell away from his body without a fight.
He felt a shiver go through his body and his eyes widened to the size of saucers at the wordless threat. This guy had sharp instruments and he wasn't afraid to use them. He felt extremely exposed and vulnerable in just his boxer briefs in the drafty air of the basement. He decided whatever the guy wanted, he would give him without a fight, and that included playing along with this game.
"Let's try that again."
"I-I used to date them," Edison offered to placate him.
"Date? So _that's_ what we're calling it now?" The man brought the knife up to Edison's chest and he thought he could see a smile in his eyes as the instrument grazed his nipples. He could see little fountains of red popping up where the instrument touched, but he felt nothing. He forced tears to his eyes, hoping to gain him some sympathy points, "Ouch, no, please, don't!"
"Shut the fuck up," the mystery man snarled. "I injected you with a numbing serum, so i know you don't feel anything...for now, at least. What were those crocodile tears supposed to do, anyway? Was I supposed to take pity on you? The same way you felt took pity on those women you forced yourself on?"
"I never raped them!" he gasped out forcefully.
The man brought the instrument up to his eyelid and made a nick, "I never said you did, did I? No, you like stalking women. Catching them unawares. Making them fear you and wonder if and when you might violate them. Cumming in their pillows...That's what you like, right?"
He felt his bladder loose again at the reference.
_How could he know? How could anyone know? I haven't told a soul about my rendevous in Olivia's room,_ he thought frantically as he racked his brain for the possibilities.
"You're wondering how I know that, huh? Well it's irrelevant. But that's some sick shit, and I'm sure deep inside, you know it too. How would you feel if I returned the favor? I could cum all over you right now, and you know what you would deserve every drop of it!" the man said, motioning to undo his trousers.
Edison shook against the restraints again before the stranger continued, "But I'm not a sick bastard like you. I mean, I guess I'm sick in my own way. But I don't prey on women or the elderly, so I'm still a step above you."
The man reached beneath the cot and pulled out a box and a pair of latex gloves. He pulled on the gloves and opened the box slowly, in such a way that Edison would get a good glimpse of all the utensils inside.
If his bladder had any contents, he would have emptied it on himself for the third time in less than an hour.
These were clearly carving tools, ranging in size from small to large, but the edges were sharp. The objects looked like they belonged to a medical doctor's kit to him, rather than some torturing thug's toolbox.
"Don't look so afraid," the man declared in a tone that told Edison he had a smile on his face and was totally enjoying this. "Do you have a preference for size?" The man asked as he pulled Edison's briefs down.
"No, please, don't, I'm begging you," he pleaded desperately.
"I'll take that as a no. That's fine. I actually have one already picked out, just for you, Edison."
He picked up the smallest scalpel in the box, "This one I call baby girl. She's a tiny little thing, just like your cock. But unlike you, she has fortitude. Right on the edges here," he pointed to the razor sharp edge of the tool, "I have something just for you. Some strategically placed venom."
Edison forgot the earlier warning and began struggling wildly to get loose, "No!" he yelped, managing to get just above a whisper with his damnedest effort. "No, No, No!"
"RELAX, you fucking whimp," the man growled dangerously. "It's not enough to kill you. Although, if it were up to me, you'd be dead tonight, you worthless piece of shit. Lucky for you, your daddy is a pretty important guy. Next time you see him, hug him real hard and beg him for some sessions with the best psychologist money can buy. If I catch you cumming in anyone's pillow, your daddy won't be able to save you. Anyway, I put just enough to hobble you. Let's see how much of a man you are when your cock can't get hard. Don't worry, it won't last forever. You might get your faculties back...in a year or so. Hopefully, it'll teach you some humility. I'll be watching."
Those were the last words Edison heard before he passed out.
* * *
When Edison woke up, the sun was shining brightly and birds were chirping gaily.
A stark contrast to how his body felt. Every inch of his chest hurt and his penis was throbbing in the most terrible way. He looked down at himself and he was wearing a t-shirt that he recognized as his own and basketball shorts.
He pulled up his shirt to see what was left of his chest and was shocked to find no marks. He ran his finger over his abdomen and he could feel where the skin had been cut and thus was puckered, but the slits were invisible to the naked eye, no bigger than paper cuts.
He undid the draw strings on his pants gently, as to not upset his already hurt genitals. He brought his face as close as humanly possible to it to observe any differences, but he could not see the source of his pain. He stroked himself to see if he could get even a little bit excited and found his penis unresponsive. He felt the tears welling in his eyes as he grabbed his phone to call the police.
He stopped when he started to dial 911, as he imagined the operator on the other end of the line asking, "_Nine-One-One, what's your emergency?"_
What was he going to say?
_Umm someone broke into my house last night and cut me up, but the scars are too small to see and that's why my dick won't get hard! _
_No, that wouldn't work._
The tears began to fall as he realized what a conundrum he was actually in. The story would sound crazy to anyone, and they'd probably throw him in an insane asylum before they started a manhunt for the mystery man in black with the venomous scalpels. The kicker was that in order for any of it to make sense, he would have to snitch on his own perverted ways. He laid back in the bed and put the pillow over his face. _Fuck my life, _he thought as he cried himself to sleep.
* * *
**A/N: So what did you guys think? Did you like the chapter? Did Edison get what was coming to him? Do you think Mellie will be placated by the money? Did Olivia overreact about Amanda tanner? I'm curious lol!**
15. Together
"What do you think about this one, babe?" Olivia asked as she reclined in the sofa. Fitz came around the couch and sat beside her, throwing his arms around the cushions and her shoulders.
"Uhhh, it's a little stiff, Liv," he assessed while leaning back into the seat. "I don't know. It's a little small, too."
She jumped up out of the seat and grabbed his hand, "You are worse than Goldilocks." She teased him about his pickiness, but she actually didn't mind. She was having fun going from store to store, sitting on all kinds of vibrating, reclining, futuristic sofas. Fitz had something in mind that he was looking for, but he just didn't know what exactly it was yet, so she was content to browse until something won over his heart.
She was excited about this outing ever since she woke up earlier that morning. She felt a bit silly about being so enthralled with the search because it wasn't really her couch, or even her home, even though she practically lived there. Ever since he had given her a key, he had made sure to make her feel as if his home was her home, too. It was almost as if he was trying to make up for the fact that she was effectively evicted from her on campus residence.
As promised, he had cleared out drawers for her, as well as more space than she needed in the closet. She had chuckled to herself momentarily one day when she came home to find his and her bathroom sets on the kitchen table, but then it had almost brought tears to her eyes. More than anything, she felt safe and welcome within the confines of his apartment. A feeling she had never been able to achieve at her aunt's house in Ohio, with having to tip toe around her uncle, or even at school staying in the dormitories. Living in the dorms was nice, but it always felt transient and never like a real home. At Fitz's, even though it wasn't truly hers, she was able to leave her own mark. He trusted her to style things and fix things around the house, and it gave her a sense of pride.
She counted her lucky stars that he was so accommodating and treated her well because at this point she was beyond head over heels for him. He could probably have anything in the world from her if he just asked, but thankfully he didn't. He made her feel like she belonged in a way she hadn't felt since her mother had passed away so many years ago. She loved Harrison and he was her best friend in the world, but the feeling she got when Fitz looked at her, held her hand and kissed her? Nothing could compare. Especially times like now, when they were outside of the city and could be themselves in public, not hiding or worrying about who was watching.
"Liv, I think we found it," he said excitedly, pulling her out of her thoughts.
"Fitz, it's so..._red_," she chuckled as she focused her attention in the direction he was staring. It was **very** red, fire engine red to be exact, but it was beautiful. She could tell, even from a distance, that it was crafted from quality Italian leather. The sectional was long and the angles softened to modernize the sofa, the couch accented with a side sofa and large ottoman.
"I know," he agreed, plopping onto the couch, "not quite the color we had in mind. But the pop of red would actually look kind of cool against the gray walls." He looked down at the tag, "Not a bad price, either."
A small, graying man appeared in front of them out of the blue, "Sorry to eavesdrop, but I saw you two looking at this beautiful selection, and I felt I should tell you it's on sale. Five hundred dollars off of the tagged price, and free same day delivery. We'll have our service van follow you home!" he smiled brightly, clearly intent on closing the deal.
Olivia looked it over carefully, "The color is a little off putting at first, but it's grown on me in the last thirty seconds."
Fitz looked at his watch, "Alright, well the final yay or nay is up to you. I have to go to that business meeting I was telling you about soon, so this is probably the last store for the day. Are we taking the plunge?"
"Let's do it," she beamed at him.
They had an easy commute the twenty minutes back into Boston, the truck which held their new purchase trailing them closely. The moving men set up quickly and even took away his old love seat at no additional cost. He was glad to have a living room he could actually be proud to have company in, but a part of him would miss the little sofa because he and Olivia had made many memories on it. Once he got finished tipping and thanking the helpers, it was already time for him to leave to meet up with Mellie.
"Alright, Livi," he grabbed his briefcase and gathered his things in preparation to go, "I should be back in an hour, or so."
She walked over to help him with his jacket, "Hurry up back."
She latched onto his collar to pull him down for a kiss and he locked his fingers around her neck to deepen it. When his tongue ran over her bottom lip and he used his teeth to nibble it softly she felt a tingling sensation run up from her toes to her ears. His kiss was like the sensation of free falling, both exhilarating and terrifying. He knocked the wind out of her and before she could fully recover, his tongue was stealing what little breath she managed to recoup, and she loved it.
"I should go," he rasped breathlessly and she slowly loosened her grip on his shirt. "I'll be back before you can miss me," he whispered, kissing her forehead.
_I already do_, she thought before he was even out of the door.
* * *
Fitz entered the diner calm, cool and confident that he had the upper hand in this situation. For once, he was hellbent on beating Mellie at her own game and she wouldn't even see it coming.
He sat at a table in the corner which had a direct view of the door so he could see her as she came in. He was looking over the documents he had brought with him and mentally preparing himself for a showdown. Things were almost never cut and dry with Mellie, but he hoped this time would be a first. He was ordering a coffee when she entered and headed directly for him.
_Here we go,_ he thought to himself.
"Why hello, there," she greeted him with a knowing smile. "Nice to see you again, and so soon, Fitzgerald."
He didn't bother returning the pleasantries, "Have a seat, Mellie."
She did as instructed, her face returning to its usual scowl, "Did you have your counsel look over those papers?"
"I did, and you know what, they looked great."
She smirked, visibly pleased with herself, "I thought you might find it so."
"Yeah, except for one thing, I'm not signing them."
"What?!" she growled, leaning over the table, "Fitzgerald, you had more than enough-"
"Shut up and fucking listen for once, Mellie. The jig is up. I know that you're in trouble with Big Gerry and you need money to pay him off before he sends his goons after you to collect." He watched her jaw drop and it took everything in him not to laugh in her face.
"What? How could you- Have you been having me followed?!" she demanded.
"I was actually of a mind to give my dear dad a call the other day. Found out you have a little debt that needs paying and I figured _that_ must be why you're sniffing after this property again. You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to hand over what's rightfully mine. Not a chance in hell. But, you know what Mellie, I'm a good guy. I have a soft heart, even for scumbuckets like you. So you know what I did, I had a check drawn up with your name on it."
She shifted in her seat uncomfortably and he could see her mental wheels turning. "For how much?" she asked blankly, and he knew he had her right where he wanted her.
"Two-hundred thousand dollars," he offered simply.
"What's the catch?"
"The catch is that you leave me alone, **_forever_**. Consider this a final peace offering. You did put money into the property, so consider this a return on your investment. But after this, no more attempts to extort or blackmail me. Never e-mail or call me again. To be more specific, don't contact me again in any way, shape or form, ever."
He slid the papers he brought with him across the table, "Sign these documents acknowledging that you were the recipient of this settlement in exchange for compliance with a no contact order, or else I _will_ give Big Gerry another call. I _**will**_ tell him how you showed up here in Boston, bragging about how you screwed him out of hundreds of thousands of dollars and how he was too blind to see it. I'll tell him you told me about your overseas accounts accruing interest which he provided the funds for and that the measly 98 thousand he's been threatening you for is just the tip of the iceberg."
Her eyes grew wide, "You **wouldn't**! He hates you!"
Fitz shrugged, daring her to call his bluff, "Doesn't matter. You know he'll believe me. Big Gerry hates being cheated out of his bottom line and it's _clearly_ not outside of your character to do so. You may be a Grant by name, but I'm a Grant by blood. He won't believe you. Do not force my hand, Mell. You won't like what comes next."
Her nostrils flared and he could see the resignation settle into the lines of her face. "Okay. Christ, I'll sign the damn papers. Just give me the check."
"First, say it. No more extortion attempts, no more threats."
She rolled her eyes, huffing the words with disdain, "No more extortion. No more threats."
"Good," he smiled, sliding a pen across the table. She signed the forms and passed them back and he handed her the check.
"By the way, this entire conversation has been recorded. Show up anywhere near me again, and I'll give over this tape of you acknowledging your prior attempts at extortion to the law. Have a nice life, Mellie."
He rose from the table before giving her a chance to respond.
* * *
Fitz unlocked the door to their apartment feeling lighter than had in a week. He smiled to find Olivia in the living room on the sofa reading.
She looked up from her textbook, "Hey babe, how was the business meeting?"
"It went well, I think it's all handled. Now that it's over," he ventured, "I should tell you, it was a situation with my ex-wife."
She furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?
He went to sit next to her to explain further, "She was trying to hustle me out of a valuable piece of property to pay off her debtor, my father. She showed up here last weekend..."
Olivia leapt up suddenly, "She _**WHAT**_? _When_?"
"Last Sunday, when you were at Harrison's-"he started to explain.
He knew he was in deep trouble when she began pacing and rubbing her temples.
"Fitz, is **that** why you were acting so strangely? And you looked like you had been crying?"
"Well...Yes...Livi, I just didn't want to get into it because I didn't want to worry you, I-"
She stopped short, turning her angry gaze on him, "How _could_ you..._**Why**_ wouldn't you tell me something like that? You **lied** to me."
He felt the look of confusion spreading across his face, "What?"
"Fitz," she growled, crossing her arms. "You lied to me," she began pacing again, "You looked straight in my face when I asked you what was wrong, and said, and I quote, 'I think I ate something bad.' Nowhere did you mention your **ex-wife** showing up on your door step. Nowhere you mention that something was wrong, _very wrong_. You _**hid**_ it from me."
"Olivia," he walked over to her and tried to calm her, "it's not a big deal."
"Seriously? _**Seriously**_? You have a lot of nerve to say that," she glared at him angrily. He could see her bottom lip trembling and he knew this was escalating in a way he hadn't foreseen when he opened up about the subject.
"I didn't think it was necessary to tell you. It was just about greed, she wasn't really even here for me. Huck was helping me-"
"You had **HUCK** help you?! Did Harrison know?"
"No, I-"
"Oh," she interrupted before he could get a word in edgewise, "so you purposely bypassed him too, because you knew he would tell me!"
"Olivia, NO-"
"_**YES**_, you _LIED,_ Fitz! You are _such_ a hypocrite. What happened to 'I love you, share with me, you can trust me, I trust you, why didn't you tell me about Edison?' What happened to all of that?" she snarled.
"That's different, and you know it."
"Right. Of course it is. It's different because **I** was the one spilling my guts and **you** only tell me things when it can't be avoided any longer, or else you would never say anything. Like if that _bitch_ hadn't called the other morning, you would've just let me walk into the dinner completely ignorant. That's _wrong_, Fitz, and I can't believe you're defending it!" she was screaming now.
"Olivia, please, calm down, you don't-"
"Stop trying to manipulate the situation to make it seem like I'm crazy and overreacting, it's really starting to piss me off."
"Baby, I was just trying to protect you!"
"Do **not** 'baby' me, do _not_! Protect me? From what? From the truth? You think lying is protecting me? I do not need you to protect me, not like that, anyway. That is not love, Fitz, that's control. Just because you're older than me doesn't mean you get to control me!"
"That's not what this is about Olivia, you know that," he was raising his voice too now, and the whole situation was quickly spinning out of control.
"No, I don't know, so maybe you should explain it to me."
He was in shock and speechless by her tirade, "Olivia, I..."
"Yeah, that's what I thought," she muttered as she brushed past him in the direction of the bedroom, not giving him a chance to finish.
"Where are you going?!" he called after her.
When she didn't answer he followed her into the bedroom and saw her yanking a bag out of the closet and throwing clothing into it. Before he could stop himself he was pulling the bag out of her hands and throwing the clothes haphazardly onto the floor.
"Olivia, **_stop_** this. Answer me, what are you doing?!"
She breathed in deep, "I need a break."
"What? No."
"You don't get it, you can't tell me no. You are not my freaking father!" She stormed past him back down the hallway, forgetting the about the bag and clothes. When he made it into the living room she was gathering her jacket, phone and textbook.
"Olivia, don't do this, seriously."
She flew out of the door into the corridor, completely ignoring his pleas as she pressed the elevator call button frantically. Much to his chagrin, it was there lingering, already on their floor. She entered the vessel and he stood in the shaft, blocking the door from closing.
"Olivia, _please_, I'll do anything," he pleaded.
She refused to look in his eyes, "Let me go."
He could hear his voice breaking, "Livi..._**Anything**_ but that."
He moved towards her and she backed up, cowering in the corner as if she were afraid of him. "Fitz, **don't**."
He sighed, exasperated and angry, "Fine, then go."
He turned on his heels to his apartment, slamming the door with so much force he was sure his lock was broken. He immediately pulled the bottle from beneath the sink and began drinking. He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there in a fog when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He fumbled clumsily for it, answering it before bothering to check the caller ID, "Hello?"
"What the hell is the deal, Grant?"
He pulled the phone back to check it and sighed, "Is she okay?"
"You tell me, what in the world is wrong with her?"
He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and he struggled to keep his voice even, "Harrison...please, I just. I can't right now."
He hung up as he felt the hot tears flowing down his face.
* * *
When the buzzer rang Fitz couldn't find it within himself to get up and answer it. He didn't know who it was, but he didn't care. He knew it couldn't possibly the only person whose presence he desperately needed right now because they never announced her anymore. He continued sipping the whiskey slowly, focusing on the burn in his throat instead of the ache in his heart. But when the ringing persisted he found himself growing irritated. "Don't they get that I don't want to be fucking bothered?!" he screamed at the empty apartment.
He pressed the buzzer aggressively, "Who the hell is it?" he snarled into the intercom with more venom than he had intended.
"Err, umm, I'm sorry to bother you sir," Hal's voice sniveled through the speaker, "but I have a Mr. Harrison Wright requesting to be let up."
"Send him up," he responded without hesitation, wondering what in the world he was doing here. Harrison was the last person he would have been expecting. He cracked the door open instead of waiting for the elevator to arrive and went back to then kitchen to his drink. He was downing the last of his whiskey when he heard the door close.
"Yo!"
"Over here," he called back.
"What's going on dude?" Harrison asked as he rounded the corner.
"I dunno," Fitz poured another drink. "Did you come here to handle me?"
Harrison laughed, "If that was the plan, do you think I would've announced my presence through the doorman?"
"No...I guess not." He sipped, eyeing him carefully, "So what are you doing here?"
"Damn, it's like that Grant? I thought we were cool. You didn't sound right on the phone, so I decided to swing by, check you out."
"Shit, I really am being rude as hell. Thanks, Harrison. I appreciate that." He motioned to a stool, "Have a seat. Want a drink?"
"Sure, what you got?"
"Seagrams 7."
"Quality stuff. I'll have a sip."
"Wait, how old are you again?" Fitz hesitated.
He snickered at the question, "Does it even matter at this point?"
"No," Fitz relented, passing him the bottle, "I guess not."
Harrison poured himself a meager cup, "So, how much of this have you had tonight?"
"Not enough. I'm in bad shape, Harrison. Liv and I...we got into an argument. It was pretty bad."
"Yeah, I figured as much when she showed up on my doorstep, livid but somehow mute. The only thing I got out of her was 'I don't want to talk about it.' I was actually calling to ream you out, but once I heard your voice I figured she must have gotten into your ass enough."
Fitz huffed, "_That's_ an understatement."
"Do you do this often?" Harrison asked quietly.
"What? Fight?"
"No, I meant drown your sorrows in alcohol."
"Oh. I used to...I've cut back on the drinking for the most part since I've moved to the east coast. To be honest, I haven't really had any sorrows since I met Liv," he offered wistfully.
He shook his head, "Grant, you need to chill out with the liquor and use another outlet."
"I paint, sometimes."
"Well, do that. Get your Rembrandt on, whatever you need to do, but the drinking when you're upset is dangerous. And quite frankly, it makes you look pathetic. You're going to kill yourself. You and your girlfriend had a fight, okay, it's not the end of the world. Conflict is a part of life and you need to find a more constructive way to deal with it. You can't turn into a blubbering baby every time shit gets hard," he scolded him.
"I know."
"Liv is amazing, I know, and I'm sure you guys will work this out. But even if you don't, life goes on."
"No, it doesn't Harrison, you don't understand-," he started.
"Yes, I do. I know. You love her. She loves you. But things happen, circumstances change, people leave. It is what it is. Either way, life goes on. All you can do is fight for what's yours. But I know one thing, sitting around the house, crying in your cups won't fix a damn thing. As a matter of fact, grab your jacket, we're out of here."
"I don't know, Harrison," he hesitated, "I don't much feel like going out, to be honest."
"Oh you're _going_, and you're gonna like it. We're hitting the sports bar. It'll help you take your mind off things for a bit. Do you ever even go out? I know you guys are all obsessed with one another, but you should also have a life outside of each other, too."
"I do," he responded defensively.
"Right," Harrison retorted sarcastically, "I'm sure you do. Well then, let's see that social side, Grant. We're out."
* * *
The twosome made their way downstairs and the fresh air felt good on Fitz's skin. The weight of the whiskey he had been hastily consuming earlier finally hit him on the way to the car as his stomach did somersaults and his legs felt as sturdy as overcooked noodles.
They jumped into Harrison's van and made the short drive over to the bar with a little small talk and top 40 music as the soundtrack. The van pulled into the parking lot and he lagged a bit behind as Harrison strutted confidently past the bouncer and made a beeline to the bar. As they slid onto the stools, Fitz took in the surroundings and noted that the walls were swamped with sports paraphernalia, the color of the wall itself peering through in small patches between jerseys and insignias. The overwhelming majority of the teams being represented were Boston teams, but the Los Angeles Dodgers also had a notable presence.
"Yo, Johnny!" Harrison called out to get the attention of the bartender. "Can my friend and I get a couple of beers?"
"Right on it, H-man!" the man called back, two frosty bottles sliding down the counter moments later.
"How is it that you're able to traverse the bar scene without getting ID'ed?" Fitz wondered in a low voice, so as not to tip off anyone nearby.
"Swag," Harrison retorted back with his million dollar smile. "And fake IDs," he added as almost an afterthought, "but mostly swag. If you carry yourself like you run the joint, most people won't question you."
"That really works?" he asked incredulously.
He shrugged, "Most times. There is the rare occasion when I run into a hater, but that's when I whip out the bogie Huck so kindly hooked me up with."
"Speaking of the man himself, where is Huck?"
"At the house. Huck is your quintessential loner, he doesn't do the bar thing. More than four people and the scene is overwhelming to him. I'm the kinda guy that needs variety and stimulation, though. I like to come out by myself, see how many people I can meet and just have a good time. I like talking to people. That's how I found this place."
"Can I ask you something Harrison?"
"Sure," he replied.
"Why did you come over? I mean, I know you said I didn't sound too hot over the phone, but why did you care?"
"Shit, Grant. What the hell kind of question is that?"
"I don't know, I just...I'm not your family, Olivia is. So I'm just wondering why you're out with me and not her?"
"It just sounded like you needed a friend. Plus, when she's tight like that, she's not much in the mood for company. That's how she operates though, she just needs some time to come down. Not saying that she won't be upset at whatever it is that you did, but she's a lot more reasonable and communicative once she's had some time to marinate."
"Oh..." he nodded, thankful for the encouraging words, "so you guys have gotten into it before?"
Harrison raised both eyebrows over his beer, "Are you kidding me? Too many times to count. It just so happened that we lived together and had a common enemy, so we had to stick together. It was crucial for our survival to stick together against my asshole of a stepdad, so sometimes we just had to get over that shit. But even still, she would be in my room, laying on my bed, watching my television, ignoring me! Isn't that crazy?"
Fitz laughed at the mental imagery, "Yeah, that's Livi for you. She's no pushover."
"And the sooner you learn that the better!" Harrison teased. "But yeah, that's why I came by. You know, I see the way she is with you. Even when I challenge her, she goes to bat for you. That's a new one for me. It's pretty much just been us against everyone else since forever. I can tell that she loves you, Fitz, no matter how pissed she is right now. She didn't even badmouth you when I asked what you did, so I figure, you guys will talk and get it handled. Plus, you seem like a cool guy, and from what I can tell it doesn't seem like you're going anywhere, anytime soon. No excuse why we shouldn't be friends."
Fitz chuckled, "You know for someone so young, you're really wise as hell, Harrison."
"That's cause wisdom comes with critical thought, not age." Harrison had his eyes fixed on the door, "Hey! Adam, Brent come meet my friend Fitz!"
The two guys joined them at the bar and introduced themselves. They decided to move from the bar to a booth and the three guys immediately begun talking sports. Fitz mostly held back, even with Harrison's consistent attempts to engage him in the conversation. But when they got onto the topic of the Dodgers, his home team, Fitz finally let loose.
From there they moved onto politics and current events, music and movies. Fitz found himself actually enjoying their company, and couldn't help but think that it would have been a great time were it not for the feeling of dread in his stomach. It was a constant reminder of the fact that Olivia was furious with him and needed a break from him, whatever that meant.
Before he knew it, he was hearing the announcement for the last alcohol call and his watch told him it was after midnight. They piled back into the vehicle and Fitz couldn't stop expressing his gratitude, "I know I gave you a hard time earlier, but thank you for getting me out of the house and talking some sense into me about the drinking. I've been knowing it, but it's definitely a wake up call to hear it from a third party. I'm feeling some inspiration to paint when I get home, try to get some of this negative tension out."
"See, now _that's_ what I'm talking about! Channel that energy into something positive. But you know, you don't have to thank me for that, we can hang any time you wanna get out. I'm always up for an interesting time. And like I said, Liv will come around, I know it. She might still be at my house, did you wanna stop by or...?"
"No, I think I'm going to take your advice and give her a little space. Until she's ready."
"Understood," Harrison nodded, turning in the direction of Fitz's apartment.
* * *
Olivia sat staring at her phone, hoping against hope that it would ring.
_But that's stupid, I told him I wanted a break and to let me go. I don't even know if I want to talk to him._ She groaned loudly at the paradoxical nature of her thoughts as she replayed their blowout in her mind.
"You should just call him," a voice called out from the doorway.
"Huck," she looked up, "I'm furious with him."
He crossed the threshold and leaned against the desk, "But you've been staring at the phone for over six minutes like you're performing a Jedi mind trick to make it ring anyway. Why not?"
She sighed, "I know, but...I don't know. I wouldn't even know what to say..._How_ could he, **_why_** would he hide something like that from me? His ex-wife showing up? Why would he confide in you, but not me?"
"Liv, you know I wouldn't have helped him if I thought he was trying to hurt you, or double cross you, in any way."
"I know and I'm not even upset with him for coming to you. I know you're great at handling things. It's just that he lied to me and it just seems like a pattern of him keeping things from me. Things that I think I have a right to know."
"Did you tell him that?"
"Somewhat...I think. Not nearly that articulately, though. I was in red mode," she admitted.
"How did he respond?"
"He said he was sorry...but he also told me I was overreacting, which overrides the apology. I think he's under the impression that what he did was warranted, which is even more frustrating."
"How many lies have you caught him in?"
"Caught? Just this one, really. But there was this thing with a woman that he neglected to tell me about until I overheard a phone call. So I don't know when or if he would have told me otherwise."
"Gotcha. I see. All I can say is when he came to me, he seemed scared. He was worried that she would get you in her crosshairs, so I agreed to look into it for him. He should have told you, though. It's only right." He sighed, "That's the thing about life though, Liv, people lie. People lie and convince themselves it's for the right reasons, and they disappoint us. To be honest, the truth of the matter is, no one tells the truth, all the time."
She sighed, "I know that, Huck. I just want him to tell me the important things. I want him to see me as his partner and not someone he has to handle with kid gloves."
"And you deserve that. My question to you is, do you think his intent was malicious?"
She considered it carefully, "No."
"Do you think he's capable of changing? Of seeing you as his equal?"
"Yes...at least I hope so. I need him to be."
He nodded, "Do you think it's worth the effort to try?"
She didn't hesitate, "Definitely."
He nodded again, "Then Olivia, maybe you should give him a chance to show you."
* * *
Fitz was in his study sketching aimlessly when he heard the front door slam. He looked at his watch, **1:49**. He exited his room, graphite pencil still in hand, and caught her as she was taking off her shoes by the door.
"Baby," he rasped, staring at her as if it had been closer to twelve weeks than twelve hours since he had seen her last. He couldn't stop himself from going to her, he wanted, no _needed_, her in his arms. As he closed the gap and little more than two feet remained between them, she stepped back out of his grasp and his heart sunk.
"I'm still mad at you," she whispered breathily, needing to keep space between them or she knew she would melt.
"And I deserve that. I was wrong. I shouldn't have lied and I want to give you your space to be mad, but Olivia, please...don't go," he pleaded.
She just looked him with a face he couldn't read, but he continued anyway, "I'll sleep on the sofa, I don't care, I just...I can't breathe without you here."
He saw her face soften for a split second and he knew she would stay. He reminded himself of Harrison's words to give her space as he fought the desire to scoop her up.
"Okay," she conceded.
"I'm going to go to my study," he was telling her as much as himself before he lost his resolve, turning and leaving her there.
* * *
Olivia tried to sleep, but found herself tossing and turning in the bed. She looked at the clock: **2:47**. "Ugh," she sighed. She had felt so tired earlier that she was sure she was going to knock out as soon as her head hit the pillow, but instead her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Fitz. The bed just didn't feel the same without him in it, wrapping her up in his arms and nuzzling her neck. She hadn't slept without him in almost three months and she wasn't sure she wanted to start now.
She was still upset with his actions, but the red hot anger she had felt earlier had completely subsided. As she laid there, she still wasn't able to find the words to convey to him how she felt. It was so much easier when she was talking to Huck, but being near Fitz somehow turned her to mush. She knew she had to try though, it was worth it.
He was worth it.
She slipped out of the bed quietly and tip toed down the hall, stopping outside of his study. She was about to knock when she heard the sound of his body tossing and turning on the couch down the hall. It was dark so she couldn't see him, but she could hear his body flop back down against the leather and his deep sigh. _He couldn't sleep either_, she thought to herself and it gave her some confidence.
She stood at the end of the hallway in the darkness until she found the courage to speak, "You up?"
She could hear him sit up. "Yes," he called back out to her in the dark.
She maneuvered off of memory in the darkness, making her way to the sofa. She sat next to him and laid her head on his shoulder, not able to hold herself back from him any longer. He sighed and wrapped his arm around her, the knot in his stomach finally subsiding. He wanted to say something, _anything_, but he didn't know what. So instead he kissed her forehead and sat in the silence for moments that felt like forever.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered, so low he almost missed it
"Olivia...honestly...I was scared. My ex-wife...Mellie's a live wire and I knew she was willing to do anything to get what she wanted. I was afraid of what she might do, and I was more afraid that if I told you that, you would get spooked and leave me."
"Fitz...how could you think that of me?" she asked incredulously. "You don't think I love you?"
"No, Olivia, I do. I know you love me. It just threw me off, seeing her here, with no warning; I wasn't thinking rationally. I thought I was protecting you, but I didn't realize how it would hurt you. I didn't want to lay an unnecessary burden on you, so yes, I did lie. It was wrong, but I convinced myself it was for the right reasons. Olivia, I'm sorry though."
"Fitz, if this is going to work I need you to be honest with me, even if you think it's going to hurt me. I want us to be partners...I need you to see me as your equal. I know you think I'm naive and innocent, and in some ways I am, but I've seen things, too. I've been through things, too. I know life isn't some fairy tale and the going won't always be easy, but you have to trust that I can handle it. You can't handle me like some porcelain doll you're afraid to break. Don't underestimate me, it's insulting."
He scooped her hand up off of the couch and laced his fingers through hers, "You're right, and I hope you believe when I say I'm sorry and I feel terrible about it. But Livi, I love you more than anything and I need you to forgive me. I hope you can forgive me. I don't want there to be secrets between us, and I won't hide things from you again."
She picked their entangled hands up and kissed his fingers, "I don't want to fight with you, Fitz."
"And I don't want to fight with you," he replied leaning back onto the couch and pulling her onto his chest.
"Just don't let it happen again," she scolded playfully, kissing his jaw.
"Believe me, it won't. I _really_ don't like being on your bad side. It was a hell of a day."
She sighed, "So...what did you do today?"
He sighed in return, "Drowned my sorrows in whiskey for a while until Harrison came over. He talked some sense into me and drug me out of the house for some fresh air."
She raised her eyebrows, and scrunched up her face in confusion, "Harrison came over? My _cousin_, Harrison?"
He smiled at her surprise in the dark, "Yep. He took me out. Shared a little wisdom. Met a couple people that he's cool with."
"Wow," she uttered, genuinely shocked.
"What? Is that weird for you?"
"No," she laughed, "it's just the last thing I expected you to say. But that's awesome. I told you he would love you," she beamed at him.
"You did, and I'm so happy you were right. He even gave me an open invitation to hang out in the future and I'm definitely going to take him up on it. What did you get into?"
"I tried to do some reading. Sat around, mostly though," she laughed. "Fitz," she started nervously.
"Yes?
"I'm sorry for screaming at you earlier. I was just so angry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, though. It wasn't right."
He pressed his forehead to hers, "Baby, I love you. You were angry with me, and for good reason. It's water under the bridge. Now, can I take you to bed?"
She grinned up at him, "For sure."
He wrapped his arms tight about her middle and hoisted her into the air. She shrieked with surprise and delight as he broke into a slight run down the hallway to their bedroom, tossing her playfully onto the bed.
He leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers again, their noses lightly touching and their lips brushing against one another's sensuallly. She pressed her lips to his and clasped her slender legs about his waist. "I missed you today," she whispered, pulling back to take in his face.
He raised her arms over her head, leaving light kisses from her wrist to her clavicle, dragging his lips across her collarbone to kiss back down the other arm. He brought his face back to hover over hers, "I'm pretty sure I missed you more."
"Impossible," she ran her fingers over the curves of his mouth, causing his lips to tremble.
"God, you're beautiful," he murmured, admiring her features in the soft light of the bedside lamp. Nothing pleased him more than the sight of her full lips curving up to smile at him, her eyes wide and happy.
"I have an idea," he spat out suddenly, unwrapping her legs from his back. "Stay right here."
"Okay," she eyed him strangely as he ran off back down the hallway and returned seconds later with his easel and charcoal pencil in hand.
"What are you doing?" she asked him curiously.
"Drawing you," he grinned. "Are you comfortable?"
"Yeah," she replied, adjusting her position slightly.
"Alright, don't move," he commanded playfully and she giggled at him, but stayed put.
He got into the zone immediately, forgetting time and space, simply focusing on the light source and how it settled around her soft features and gave her an angelic glow. Her hair, dark and soft, laid framing her face, providing contrast to the stark white of the bed spread.
It was getting late and he could see her struggling to stay awake, but her earlier smile was etched into his brain and he used that for his preliminary sketch. He was almost finished when he looked up and realized that she was snoring softly. The clock on their bedside read **3:22** and he decided to join her in the sheets.
As soon as his body touched the bed she was turning over and snuggling into him. He felt his heart swell as she sleepily laid her head against his chest and slid her hands beneath his t-shirt to rest on the skin of his back.
He finally felt at peace.
* * *
Fitz had been sleeping tranquilly for hours when he woke up with art on the brain.
He exited the bed swiftly, moving to stand in front of his canvas at the foot of the bed, etching a few more lines before he was ready to transmute it into his colorful epiphany. He quietly carried the easel to his study to assess his paint supply and noted that he was low on blue and yellow.
"That won't do," he muttered to himself as he checked his watch for the time. Confusion spread across his face when he read **4:37**. "Shit, it's broken, again," he groaned to himself. It was his favorite Harry Winston watch which had already stopped twice in the last year.
_Time for a tune up_, he thought as he checked his laptop and saw that it was nine sharp, so the art supply store would be open. Conveniently enough, it happened to be on the same block as the Retail Affiliate where he could get his watch fixed. He went back to the bedroom and got dressed quickly and quietly.
"Livi," he shook her, "Oliviaaa." Since he had left the bed she had repositioned herself diagonally across the width of the bed and buried her head beneath a sea of pillows. He lifted the top one off and she groaned loudly, clearly indicating that she did not want to be woken up. He decided to leave a note instead, although he doubted she would be up to get it since he didn't plan to be gone longer than an hour.
Fitz decided to go to the jewelry store first, in case his watch wasn't a quick fix, then at least he could waste time in the art store until it was ready or he could arrange to come back later.
He walked into the store and was greeted by a young woman with a bright smile, "Welcome to Eastime Jewels, how may I help you today?"
"Hello, I just noticed this morning that my Midnight Automatic is malfunctioning. I was wondering if someone could take a look at it, I think I'm overdue for a complete movement overhaul."
"Certainly, sir. I'll get our Horologist Mr. Golds right now."
As he waited on them to return, he admired the other watches in the case, considering if it might be time to just get a new one. He was pondering the idea and walking around the jewelry casings absentmindedly, when he found himself in front of a breathtaking display of rings, one in particular which caught his eye.
It was a round brilliant cut engagement ring with a large diamond in the middle, surrounded by a dazzling bezel shaped in geometric zig zags. It was absolutely breathtaking. Eye catching without being gaudy or tacky, it was classic but modern, stunning and beautiful in a non-traditional way.
It reminded him of Olivia.
"Have someone special in mind?" a male voice called out.
He had been so consumed with the ring he hadn't heard the woman reenter the room with a tall, European looking man, who he could only assume was Mr. Golds.
"Oh yes," the woman interjected before Fitz could respond, "I can tell by the look on his face there is a special woman who has him gazing at rings."
Fitz smiled, "Yes. These are some beautiful rings, especially that one," he pointed at the object.
She swiftly removed the display of rings from the case and laid them on top of the counter. "You mean this one? Yes, this is from the new Harry Winston _Belle_ collection. A modern twist on the round brilliant cut, dedicated to Arabelle Huntington. The platinum band is hand crafted, handset with diamond micropave. The engagement ring and wedding band combined are over four carats. Have you two discussed marriage?"
"Yeah...only briefly though. It may be a little soon for rings though," he chuckled.
"Sir, when it's the right one, you just know," the man advised him seriously. "It is expensive, yes. But isn't she worth it?"
"Oh yeah, she's definitely worth every carat in the ring and more. But I just don't want to freak her out by moving too quickly. Honestly, I really only came by to get my watch fixed, I'm not quite in the market for a ring just yet."
"Understood. Just know that it may not be available for you when you finally become ready. Now, may I take a look at your watch, sir?"
"Sure," he responded, unlatching it from his wrist as they moved back to the other side of the store so that Mr. Golds could assess the damage. After being informed that he could have it ready for him in an hour, Fitz left to the art supply store to try to waste the minutes until his watch would be fixed.
* * *
As he languidly browsed the art store's vast selection of charcoal pencils, he played over the scene in the jewelry store. He laughed at himself, _What was I thinking? I almost let them convince me to buy an engagement ring, but it's too soon. Way too soon._ He was still chuckling at his overzealousness as he threw supplies into his basket, but somehow he still couldn't get the man's words out of his head.
_When it's the right one, you just know._
_It may not be available when you finally are._
Before he could stop himself, he was dropping his basket and exiting the store empty handed, headed back in the direction of the jewelry store.
He entered the store uncertainly, lingering in the doorway.
The clerk looked over at him with a confused smile, "Sir? I thought you wouldn't be back for another forty-five minutes, for your timepiece?"
The question hung in the air for a moment before he could find the words to speak.
"I...I don't even know what size ring she wears."
Her confused smile turned into one that could illuminate the room. He wasn't sure if she was really _that_ happy for him, or just thinking of the commission dollar signs, but he didn't care.
"I do this all the time," she beamed at him. "Don't worry, we'll take excellent care of you!"
* * *
**A/N: hope u guys enjoyed it, feedback is always appreciated! Do you think Liv overreacted? Will Fitz buy the ring? Will he propose!? Is it too soon?**
16. Forever
Fitz made his way home with a toothy grin, a bag full of paint and the weight of the world in his pocket. _This is crazy,_ he laughed to himself, _I am completely nuts. But I want to do this, I have to do this_. He didn't know when or how exactly he would propose, but he had no doubts that she was the one. He hadn't even considered the possibility that she might say no, and he didn't even want to begin thinking about it.
When he crossed the threshold of their apartment the smell of bacon greeted him.
"Liv?" he called out following the scent to the kitchen, but finding only the cold breakfast she had left for him on the stove. He looked at the time: **12:22**. She must have found his note and made him breakfast since he said he would be back around 10, but he had spent way more time going over details with the saleswoman than he had accounted for originally. Afterwards, when they were finished, he realized he had to go back to the art store to get the supplies he had journeyed out for in the first place, or else she might get curious.
He switched directions, heading down the hallway to their bedroom to find it empty as well. Perplexed, he opened the door to the bathroom where he found her fresh out of the shower, in front of the mirror running some tropically scented product through her hair, clothed only in a small blue towel. She jumped at the sudden movement of the door and his figure appearing out of thin air in the frame of the doorway.
He immediately felt bad for intruding. "I'm sorry, I should have knocked. I just didn't know where you were," he apologized, coming up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist.
She palmed her face and chuckled, "It's fine. I'm just jumpy because I didn't hear you come in. Are you hungry?"
He kissed her neck playfully, "Sure am, but not for food."
She shook her head, watching his face in the mirror, "You are too much."
His eyes pierced hers through the looking glass, suddenly serious, "Livi...do you believe in love at first sight?"
"Hmm?" she scrunched her face up in confusion at the question, unable to follow his train of thought.
"You know I still remember the first moment I laid eyes on you that first day of class...My heart was thumping so hard in my chest I swore I could hear it ringing in my ears. I momentarily forgot the words I had written and practiced for days, which has honestly never happened to me before. I knew right then and there my life would never be the same again, although I didn't know how."
She smiled at him through the mirror and turned suddenly to caress his face, "I felt it too," she whispered.
He picked her up and set her on the counter, pressing his forehead against hers, "This bathroom holds a lot of memories for us, huh?"
She giggled at the thought, "It really does."
He cupped her face, "The last few months have been a whirlwind and I can't help but think that it seems like things have been moving super fast between us...but it just feels _so_ right. I never knew it was possible to feel anything comparable to what I feel for you, and I know you feel it too. The way you kiss me, the way you hold me, and take care of me and talk to me, I can feel it. Even when we're just sitting beside each other in silence, I can feel it...I can feel _you_. You were made for me, Olivia. Every day that I'm with you the sky looks bluer and the grass greener and my heart feels so much lighter. I know things haven't exactly been easy, and there will probably be more obstacles in the future, and I really don't know what's going to happen. One thing I do know however, right now, with one hundred percent certainty, is that I love you, Olivia. And I want to love you forever. I **will** love you forever, if you'll have me. I probably won't always get it right, but just, have patience with me."
"Fitz," she started.
"Wait," he stopped her before she could say anything else. He pulled her down off of the counter to stand before him, taking her left hand in his as he dropped to one knee, "The whole way home I was trying to think of the perfect way to ask you...the most romantic way to show you how much you mean to me, but I just...," he smiled up at her, "I don't want to wait, Livi. I think here is as good a place as any. Full circle, right?" he asked, chuckling nervously.
He could see the wheels turning in her head, "Baby, what-"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box, opening it to display the brilliant stone that was a small expression of his love, "Olivia, will you marry me?"
Her mouth formed a small 'O' and he could feel her hand trembling inside of his, "I'm not saying we have to do it tomorrow, or next month or even next year, but, I am ser-"
Before he could finish she was sliding onto his knee, her tiny hands clasping his face and her lips pressing frantically against his mouth. He could feel her tears, happy tears he hoped, falling onto his cheeks.
He pulled back for a moment, "Is that a yes?"
She shook her head vigorously, "Yes, of course!" She kissed him again, but pulled back to eye him seriously for a moment, "Are you...are you sure, Fitz?"
"More sure than anything else in this world," he assured her, pulling her up to her feet and turning her around to show her his vision of perfection."I have never been more sure of anything in my life," he whispered while running one hand along the hem of her towel and using the other to grip her waist. He ran his tongue over her ear and heard her sharp intake of breath.
"Have I ever told you how lovely you look fresh out of the shower?" he asked, admiring her soft features in the mirror as he slipped his hand up her meager covering to graze her lower lips, suddenly ignited. His tongue found the spot beneath her earlobe and he felt her grind her ass deep into him.
"Mmmm," he moaned as he watched her face in the reflection of the mirror, delighting in the look of pleasure that his hand and mouth elicited. He slowly unwrapped her towel, wanting to see and feel all of her. As the cloth fell to the floor he took her in.
"You are so perfect to me," he grumbled softly, basking in the soft curves of her hips that melted into her tiny waist, the hips that would one day bear his children. He ran his fingers lightly over the small, but beautiful breasts that he loved to run his his lips and teeth over. He melted in the sight of her long, elegant neck which was perfect for kissing and biting, and her smooth, velvety skin which was the most perfect brown. There was nothing that he would change, and all he felt while taking in her reflection confirmed that his earlier risk had earned him the most invaluable reward.
He ran his fingertips slowly across her nipples, watching her chew her lip at the sensation. He edged them up closer to the counter of the sink, lacing his fingers between hers and placing them on the surface as he bent her over it. He brought his lips to the back of her neck, running his tongue over its length and moving slowly down to kiss her shoulders. He continued softly down the small of her back, gently nipping the satiny skin as he made his way down to her ass, swirling his tongue over his playful bites. He ran his hands over her ass and gave it a squeeze as he came up for air, "Can I taste you Livi?"
"Yes," she moaned back huskily.
He knew she wanted him and that he didn't need to ask, but he loved the sound of her voice granting him permission. He kissed her cheeks one more time before he slid his tongue lightly across her folds, thumbing her bottom simultaneously. He felt himself straining against his pants, desperate for release when she whimpered and arched her back, forcing his tongue deeper inside of her.
"You love this baby, don't you," he whispered against her clit, knowing she would never be able to decipher his words, but the vibrations would drive her mad. He sucked at her hungrily, his hands moving to grip her hips as she moved back against him, riding his face.
"Fitz," she moaned as he nibbled at her soft bud and licked at it eagerly. When she slammed her hand against the countertop he knew it was over, and nanoseconds later his nose and mouth were drenched with her pleasure. He ran his tongue over her folds one more time to make sure he didn't miss a drop and could feel her body still rippling from the magnitude of her orgasm.
He turned her around to him slowly so that he could kiss her, allowing her to taste the sweetness of herself. He set her back on the counter for a moment so he could grab a washcloth to wipe her down. When he was finished he picked up the small black box that had fallen onto the floor in their throes of passion. He stood in front of her, taking her hand in his so he could slide the ring onto her petite finger. It was a perfect fit. She smiled and draped her arms about his neck and he hoisted her into the air, carrying her into the bedroom.
She nuzzled into his neck, kissing him lightly, "You know you don't have to carry me all time."
"But I like to," he grinned at her.
She kissed his neck, "I like you to, too."
He laid them on the bed and she began unbuttoning his shirt. He stared up at her adoringly, watching her care for him.
"What kind of wedding do you want to have?" he asked, not knowing himself exactly where the question came from.
"I don't know..." she looked at him earnestly. "I've never even thought about it, really."
"Never?" he asked incredulously.
"Never," she laughed. "I just never saw it in the cards for myself."
"Wow, I thought all women dreamed about their wedding day."
She rolled her eyes, "That is such a stereotype, Fitz."
He smiled at that, "Yeah, I guess it is, but it's usually true. You're not like most women, anyhow. But now that we're on the subject, is there something special you would want to do?"
"I really don't know, I can't think of anything off the top of my head. I feel like having some big ceremony would be kind of a waste since I don't really have much family or friends besides Huck and Harrison," she remarked candidly, and as soon as the words left her mouth, a sense of sadness welled up inside her. Although she had always known the truth of the matter in her heart, speaking the words aloud bothered her. The fact that she had no real family and no place to go home to after graduating had frightened her until meeting Fitz, and she had dreaded the day when she had to leave Harvard.
"Babe, it's not a waste if that's what you want," he said, thumbing her chin. "It doesn't matter if there are four hundred people or just four, it would still be special."
"Yeah...I just wish my mom could be there," the words tumbled out before she could smush them down. She hated that feeling of being out of control, of wanting something she could never have, but on special occasions like birthdays and graduations, and now and impending wedding, her absence was like a hole in the heart.
"She will be, in spirit, at least. I know if she was alive she would not miss this day for anything. I wish I could have met her...She must have been amazing to produce someone as special as you. I wonder if she would have liked me."
"Oh, she would have loved you. When I was little she told me, 'Liv marry a teacher. They're kind, compassionate and patient by nature,'" she laughed at the thought.
"Smart woman, huh?" he smirked.
"Yep, except it might have had something to do with the fact that she was dating my fourth grade teacher at the time, but that's a story for another day," she giggled.
"Haha, wow. I bet you got to be the board monitor every day then." He paused for a moment, "You never really talk about her, Livi," he brushed a stray hair from her face, "what was she like?"
Olivia sighed wistfully, "She was funny, and brilliant and just plain amazing. Always trying to fix people's problems and helping others. She had her faults, but who doesn't. She was like my best friend...I've never showed you my book, have I?"
"No, he replied, "May I see?"
She grinned, leaping off of the bed and shuffling quickly over to the closet. He could hear her moving things around and then in a flash she was back on the bed with a small red photograph book.
They flipped through the images together, Olivia weaving a descriptive narrative between the photos that illustrated a close, loving bond between the mother and daughter. He could see her eyes begin to gloss over and her voice dripped with nostalgia as she painted him a clearer picture of her early childhood. He held her in his arms firmly to remind her that even though she was reliving her loss, she wasn't alone. He marveled at the pictures, beginning with captures of Olivia as an infant in her mother's arms, toddler bath photos, school plays and everything in between.
He threw his head back with laughter when she turned to a page that she showed her and a little boy sitting the bathroom, naked and covered from head to toe in globs of Vaseline. "Oh my god," he exclaimed in recognition, "is that Harrison?"
"Yup, and I can't believe how well I remember this day even though I couldn't have been more than like, five. It was totally his idea, he said it would make us invisible like some cartoon we had been watching," she laughed, shaking her head at the memory."
"Persuasive even at three, huh?"
"Especially at three! When my mom found us, oh lord, she was furious at first, but she couldn't stop laughing, either."
"That's hilarious. I guess you two have always been partners in crime. What do you think he'll think of us being engaged?"
"I don't know how he'll feel, but hopefully he'll be happy for us."
"Me too...but if he's not?"
"If he's not then...that's something he and I will have to work on, but I want this, Fitz. It wouldn't matter to me if it was just the two of us in a courthouse somewhere. Just as long as it means I get to spend my life with you."
He beamed at her, "If that's the case, we could go down to city hall and be married tomorrow."
"But baby," she laughed, "you work there."
"Yeah...I forgot about that part. But we could look online for an officiant and probably get fit in by the end of the week. Pick someplace nice and just do it. I can take off Friday, and next week is spring break. I can be out of the office until Thursday, so we can have a quick honeymoon," a smile widened across his face as the plan came to him effortlessly.
"Where would you want to go?" she asked.
"Someplace warm," he answered quickly, missing the relative warmth of the California winters.
"What about Costa Rica?" she offered, "It's only six hours away."
"I love that idea. Why there, though?"
"Kind of random, but Harrison and I used to talk about visiting the rainforests there in high school."
He paused for a moment, "Why don't we ask them to come?"
"On our _honeymoon_?" she asked, surprised.
"I know it sounds crazy, a little non traditional, but we are in a lot of other ways, too. They've been an invaluable help the past few months to me, to us. It would be a thank you."
She smiled, "I love that idea." She kissed him, "How did I ever get so lucky?"
"If anyone is lucky, it's me. How about we invite them over for dinner, tell them the good news and see it they're up for an adventure? They could act as our witnesses."
"Let's do it."
* * *
They were sitting around the dining room table listening to Harrison's tale about a date gone terribly wrong over dinner, when after a round of hearty laughter there was a moment of silence and Huck took that moment to speak up.
"So, what did you guys want to talk to us about?" he asked in his straightforward fashion, never one to beat around the bush.
Olivia gave Fitz a bashful smirk and he knew he would be taking the lead on this one.
"Guys, I just wanted to say thanks for everything." He cleared his throat, "I know we haven't been knowing each other very long, but I appreciate you welcoming me with open arms. I was wondering if you guys had anything planned for spring break, beginning this Friday?"
"Nope," they replied in unison.
"Well, we want you guys to join us for a few days in Costa Rica...for our honeymoon."
Harrison was sipping his water but choked at those words, spluttering water all over his place setting. Huck patted him on the back, and laughed at his misstep.
"On your, _**what**_?" he rasped.
"Our honeymoon. I asked Olivia to marry me this afternoon and she said yes. We decided to schedule a quick ceremony with an officiant for this Friday, and then fly out to Costa Rica in the afternoon. We would be overjoyed if you guys would be our witnesses and join us on our travels."
Harrison's mouth gaped open while an unusually wide smile spread across Huck's face.
A moment passed before anyone spoke.
"You fuckers are crazy," Huck laughed, "but I'm so down."
Harrison looked from Olivia to Fitz and then back to Olivia, and she could see the smile creeping across his face, "I guess congratulations are in order. I know you have some champagne around here somewhere Grant, break it out!"
* * *
Harrison and Olivia sat beside each other on the couch, watching on as Fitz and Huck battled on the Wii sports game Huck had brought over.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked her in a low, even tone.
She nodded, smiling widely, "Yeah, I'm sure...Are you okay with it?"
He turned to face her full on, "That's a _**big**_ ass commitment, Liv. But hey, I trust your judgement. If you say you're sure, I'm sure. Fitz is a good guy, I know he'll take good care of you. It's just really wild. That was probably the last thing I expected! I didn't want to ask in front of everyone, but you're not pregnant, are you?"
She laughed heartily at that, "Harrison, _**NO**_! He just _asked_. I wasn't expecting it either. But I want this, I really do."
He put his arm around her shoulder, "Then I'm behind you, one hundred percent."
She laid her head on his shoulder, "You don't realize how much that means to me. I love you, dearly. I'm super excited you guys are gonna come with us!"
They looked up when they heard Huck's boisterous cheers and Fitz's ardent groans, making it clear who the winner was. Huck was flexing and Fitz was already demanding a best out of seven rematch in the tennis game, while Harrison and Olivia just chuckled at the scene.
"I guess we're one, big happy family now, Liv," Harrison laughed with a smile.
* * *
Olivia biked her way from campus to the downtown area with enthusiasm on Wednesday afternoon.
_I can't believe this is happening, I'm getting married. _
It still felt surreal. It felt crazy and unreal and ridiculous, but she was incredibly excited. He had asked her about marriage before, once, but she figured it was mostly just pillow talk. The last thing she saw coming was an engagement. She had been waiting with bated breath for the bottom to fall out beneath her because things had been going well for them, even with their argument, almost too well.
Even though she had been excited for them to have sex, part of her was also afraid that once they did he would lose interest in her. She was afraid that he would use her up and throw her away in the exact fashion that her uncle had projected onto her in many a rant. She hated the thought of it, but she couldn't help but to think about the possibility, to try to prepare for it, just in case. But he didn't. In fact they'd gotten closer, somehow, since taking it to the next level. But still she had never expected a ring, let alone a wedding.
She looked at the time as she pulled up in front of the store and noticed that she was a few minutes early for her appointment with the personal shopper. She decided to check in with assistant at the register and a woman instantaneously appeared, "Hello, Ms. Pope, I am Linda, your personal shopper for today. I saw from your reservation that you have an important formal event this Friday for which you need a white dress?"
"Yes, I know it's a very last minute, but I was hoping you might be able to help me?"
"Certainly. Now this event wouldn't happen to be a wedding would it?"
Olivia couldn't help but beam at the mention of a wedding, "How did you know?"
"Well firstly, that _ring_, and your smile just screams newly engaged to me," she laughed. "I've been doing this a very long time. He must be a great guy to have you glowing that way. Are you two eloping?"
She chuckled, "Not quite eloping, but we're going to do a small, nontraditional ceremony with just a couple of family members. Nothing major, and I'm not really looking for a gown, but I do want a white dress. Something...different."
"Well you're in luck because we just received a new, edgy collection of alternative white wedding dresses which are all the rage this season. Let's go get your measurements and I'll show you what I have pulled so far, based on the questionnaire you filled out when you made the appointment."
Olivia tried on dress after dress for over an hour, still not won over by anything until Linda pulled out a dress that she was originally hesitated on showing her. As soon as she slipped into it, she felt instantly different, somehow overwhelming beautiful and sexy.
"I love it, Linda," she cried, unable to contain her joy at the find.
"Olivia, you look stunning. He is going to absolutely die when he sees you in this. Did you want to look at more, or-"
"**No**! This is it."
"Well then, let me prepare it for travel and get you ready to go!"
She returned to the main floor of the boutique to browse their selections as she waited when a voice called out her name behind her, "Olivia? Olivia Pope?"
She turned to find the source of the voice and couldn't believe her eyes.
_This bitch_, she thought to herself angrily, _What the **hell** is she doing here?!_ Her gut told her there was no way this was a coincidence, but she decided to play it cool anyway."Yes?" she feigned ignorance, "Do I know you from someplace?"
The woman gave her a trite smile and offered a hand, "Professor Tanner. Aren't you a law major at Harvard? I'm pretty sure we met at the dinner last week."
"Oh yes," Olivia replied, turning to look at a shirt and ignoring the gesture, "I think I do remember you. It's nice seeing you again, Professor Tanner."
"Same here, Olivia. You know, I've been dying to ask you, what brand was that gloss you were wearing? It was just unforgettable and I've been wanting to purchase one for myself," she asked with a knowing smile.
She wasn't sure where the line of questioning was going, but she refused to supply her with any details, regardless of how innocuous it may have seemed. "I have so many, I forget," she retorted vaguely.
"Oh, well, if you remember, please, let me know." She paused for a moment, "Aren't you one of Professor Grant's star pupils?"
Olivia froze, "Where did you hear that?"
"Well his and Professor Beene's star pupil, right? They just can't stop raving about you." She cocked her head and crossed her arms, "Especially Fitz, he seems quite..._enamored_ with you, one might say."
She almost flinched at her use of his nickname, "Really, now?"
"Yes, most definitely," she retorted without elaborating. The woman turned her attention to a barely-there dress on display beside them, "Oh _**sweet baby**_, isn't this just a sexy little number?" Professor Tanner asked, searching her face for a reaction.
Olivia just gave her an empty look, _I want to strangle her stupid ass_, was what she was thinking, but her gladiator mask never left her face.
"It's alright. Not really my style. I usually go more conservative than skimpy. But now that I think about your dress from last week...it seems right up your alley," she finished with a smile.
"Right," she replied blinking vacuously, "I just might have to purchase this today! Your hair looks amazing, by the way. How do you get it do that?" She asked reaching out to touch the mass of curls.
Olivia swiftly stepped out of her reach, "Please...I prefer not to be touched by strangers. And I don't _do_ anything, it just grows out of my head that way. No magic tricks."
"Well it sure is beautiful. Hey, now that I've got you here, I wanted to tell you, I'm teaching an ethics course next semester, you should sign up! I would love to have a brilliant student like you in my class...you come so highly recommended. You might be interested to know we use the honor code as one of our core texts. We go all over _all_ the rules and the consequences for breaking said rules...for faculty _**and**_ students."
Before Olivia could reply, she heard Linda behind them, "Ms. Pope? You're all set and boxed here, if you're ready. There are just a couple of details I wanted to go over with you before you go!"
She turned back to the trifle of a woman in front of her, "Well _Amanda_," she emphasized her first name, "please, take care."
She strutted back to the lady with extra pep in her step, determined not to let anyone see how much she had gotten under her skin, but inside Olivia felt sick. She kept her gladiator face on as the woman rung her up and gave her instructions on how to store the dress to avoid wrinkles and how to steam if it needed a once over, but Olivia could barely hear her over her own thoughts. Just minutes ago she was feeling pure jubilation at the engagement and impromptu wedding, as well as her purchase, but now she was nauseous with worry.
_What if she tells someone to spite Fitz? He'll lose his job, oh my god, he's going to be so upset..._
In her haze of happiness, she had completely failed to consider the implications this might have for his career. She tried to kill the anxiety producing train of thought, but it was picking up steam by the second. _She knows_, was all she could think, _she fucking knows_. How she knew, she didn't know yet, but whatever ploy this was, her being at the boutique, she knew was purely to make sure Olivia was aware that she was being watched.
_She might have even followed me here_, she worried frantically. She pedaled back home lifelessly and in a state of paranoia, watching the cars that trailed her carefully to see if the crazed woman was following her. She decided to take an take an alternate route which would draw out anyone following her, but also took an extra ten minutes to get home. By the time she reached the lobby of their building, she could feel the color draining from her face and all she wanted to do was lay down. She made it upstairs in a fog, Professor Tanner's antagonistic words still on her mind.
She unlocked the door and was surprised to find Fitz home in the middle of the day, propped up on the sofa with his laptop and papers on the ottoman in front of him.
He looked up from his screen, "Hey honey...What's wrong?" his tone changed immediately upon noticing her disposition.
She took off her shoes and dropped her bag to the floor, "I'm fine. What are you doing home?"
"My afternoon meeting was cancelled so I decided to work from for the rest of the day. I have my tux fitting in a few hours, though. Come here," he called her over and she moved to him without hesitation
"Sit," he motioned to his lap and she melted into him.
He kissed her ear gently and held onto her neck, "Where did you go?"
"I went to find a dress after class," she mumbled into his neck.
"Looks like you found something good, may I see?"
"Fitz, no," she chuckled, "I'm pretty sure it's bad luck to see the dress."
"I was hoping you wouldn't remember that little old wive's tale. Did everything go okay at the store?"
"Yeah, it went great, except I ran into Amanda Tanner. It was like the twilight zone."
"What?! Did she speak to you?"
"Yes and she had a lot to say. Fitz...I think she knows, actually I'm pretty certain of it."
"What? How? What exactly did she say?"
"She said that I was your star pupil and she thought you were 'enamored' with me. She also mentioned something about my gloss at the dinner, and my hair. She dropped 'sweet baby' on me, trying to make it sound casual, but the way she emphasized the words...I just _knew_ it wasn't by chance that she chose those exact words. But how could she know you call me that?" she pondered aloud.
"Shit, we're dealing with fucking Sherlock Holmes here. It's my fault." He sighed, "She pointed out the gloss on my suit jacket that night of the dinner. And remember that day you called me in my office and she was there? Well my phone was on my desk and that's the name I have you stored as in there. The picture is you sleeping, but mostly your hair, which you pretty much always wear straight to school..."
"Except for today, of course," she chuckled nervously. "Oh god," she began rubbing her temples.
He pulled her hands from her head, "Livi, do not stress about this."
"But babe, there has to be a reason why she confronted me that way in the store. How did she know I would even be there? If she's following me, why blow her cover by coming up to me? She wants me to know she's onto us. What do you think she'll do? She wants you and I'm in the way. What if she tells someone and gets you in trouble? I don't want to be the cause of you losing your job. I know how much you love your job, I can't-"
"Olivia, stop right there. You are not, and could never be, at fault for anything that happens to me as a result of us being together. _**I**_ made a choice. I knew from the first moment I even thought about kissing you that us being together could have serious consequences for me, professionally. I chose you anyway and I would do it again. Every. Single. Time," he told her pointedly, punctuating each word with a kiss. "There is no turning back for me. I want to be with you. _Whatever_ the price. I want to marry you, Olivia. Unless you're having second thoughts because that's okay..."
"Fitz, no, it's not that. I want to marry you, too, more than anything. I just wish I could fix it. Maybe we could see if Harrison or Huck-" she started.
"No, Livi, you can't fix that I love you. We're getting married and we're in this together. You're brilliant and I'm not too shabby when I put my mind to it," he chuckled, "so we can try to figure this out after we get back from our trip. Going forward, we're a team. We have to put our heads together and get through this. Hopefully, with my job intact. But if not, we're going to be okay. I have investments and things, I can support us until I can find something else. But even if I didn't, I still wouldn't change my mind about this." He cupped her face, "Livi, do you trust me?"
"Yes," she answered him seriously.
"Are we in this together?"
"Of course."
"Do you love me?"
She laughed finally, "More than should be humanly possible." She reached up for his face, "I just want you to be happy...and I know your career is a huge part of that. I really want what's best for you, babe. But yes, we're going to figure this out, _together_," she smiled at him.
"Now there's the smile I live for."
* * *
Olivia stood in the mirror trying to apply her eyeliner but failing miserably. Friday morning had come quicker than she could have hoped, and her excitement had turned into anxiety. Her hand was shaking like a leaf and her she kept missing her eyelid. She sighed, "Well at least my hair looks great," she mumbled to herself. It was times like this that she wished she had at least one girlfriend.
_I am so frickin nervous, _she thought to herself as she paced back and forth, trying to calm her nerves. She had the bedroom to herself and Fitz was getting getting ready in his study so she was all alone with her thoughts. She was giving the eyeliner another go when she heard the front door slam, and moments later there was a knock at the bedroom door, "Liv, it's me."
She threw on one of Fitz's huge t-shirts and swung the door open for him, "Hey cowboy, don't you look good in a suit."
He embraced her, "Well you know I had to put on my best for my favorite cousin. How are you feeling?"
She walked back to the mirror, "I won't lie, I'm super nervous."
"I mean, I guess that's normal. It would be more odd if you weren't. It's probably just a normal case of the jitters. Or is something else troubling you?"
"I just...I hope I'm doing the right thing...Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"
He looked at her with a face she couldn't read, "That's a question only you can answer, really. Why did you say yes?"
"Because I love him and there's no one else I want to be with...now, or ever," she answered without hesitation.
"It sounds like you're doing it for the right reasons. What scares you about it?"
"Honestly, I'm worried about the fall out at school. I think someone knows, and if they don't know now, they will soon because the marriage certificate will be public record. I don't know what will happen."
"You know Liv, I read in a book that the most passionate love always has the most tragic possibilities."
She snickered, "That sounds about right."
"What does he say about it coming out?"
"Basically that we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but it just doesn't sit well with me. I want to **do** something."
"Call off the engagement and break things off with him," he countered coolly.
"What?!" she uttered in disbelief.
"You heard exactly what I said. Call off the engagement right now and break things off with him."
"Harrison, I couldn't-"
"Then stop obsessing about shit you can't control. Unless you do what I just said, it's going to come out, one way or another, eventually. You can't hide it forever. You're just going to have to brace yourself and come up with a way to control the narrative. There are going to be obstacles, and none of them necessarily easy to navigate, but it is what is. They say healthy commitment exists not in the absence of doubt, but in the spite of it. I'm not saying don't think, but don't let it overwhelm you, don't let it steal your happiness. You do want this, right?"
"Definitely," she replied.
He grabbed her dress off of where it was hanging on the back of the door, "Well then go get dressed. Today is your day. Worry about the shit storm later. You know you always have the ace of spades and the big joker in your pocket if things need to be handled," he winked at her.
She grinned at him, "But I'm not finished with my eye make up. Hey, I know it's been a long time, but...do you still have those skills?"
"Olivia, no," he backed up, "I'm not eleven anymore, I am not helping you with your makeup."
"Pleaseeeeeee Harry, you know I wouldn't ask if my hands weren't on the fritz," she pleaded, giving him puppy dog eyes,
"You're lucky you're getting married today," he conceded, rolling his eyes, "And you better not tell Fitz or Huck that I did this, either."
"Your secret is safe with me, always."
"And yours too, Liv, yours too."
He managed to finish her eyeliner and mascara decently enough in five minutes flat and she eagerly went to the bathroom to get dressed. The pep talk with Harrison had transformed her anxiety back into mostly excitement. She got peered at herself in the bathroom mirror and smiled, _He loves me and he wants to marry me, no need to be anxious, just relax._
She ran her hand over the dress before slipping it on, admiring the fabric of the Scarborough Paisley cotton lace over the layers of airy tulles. The gentle plumes of real ostrich feathers carefully placed over the full lace ballgown skirt was what had attracted her eye. The hand-draped sweetheart bodice which was accented by a creamy satin waistband and delicate lace-covered pearl buttons in the back, fit her like a glove.
She gave herself another once over before reentering the bedroom where Harrison waited.
"Olivia, you look _amazing_. I've never seen a more beautiful bride."
She beamed, "Thanks Harrison. Would you mind zipping me up?"
"It'd be my pleasure," he replied crossing the room.
When he was done he linked his arm through hers, "Now let me take you to your lord husband mi'lady," he joked.
When they walked into the living room Huck and Fitz were talking casually, but immediately stopped. Fitz stood immediately upon seeing her, his breath momentarily stolen from his chest. He went to her and Harrison moved to sit on the couch so he could embrace her.
"You look-baby, I-," he kissed her forehead and she smiled up at him nervously. "I'm at a loss for words, Livi. I am _**literally**_ the luckiest man in the world," he whispered and she could hear his voice cracking. He intertwined his fingers with hers and brought them to his lips, "Are you ready?"
She drew him down for a soft kiss, "I was born ready."
"Alright guys, it's time to go."
* * *
The ride to the hotel where the ceremony was to be held flew by, and before she knew it, she was being whisked into the beautiful glass enclosed garden. Fitz never let go of her hand as they made their way to the officiant who stood in the middle of the Japanese garden styled solarium beneath a quiet waterfall. Even though it was still March, the garden was in full bloom and beautiful flowers adorned the space.
The man wasted no time beginning the vows and she could barely follow his speech, although she repeated him at all the right times. _Please don't let this be a dream_, was her last thought before she heard, "Do you, Olivia Pope, take this man, Fitzgerald Grant to be your lawfully wedded husband, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do," she responded emotionally, and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Moments later he was instructing Fitz to kiss his bride and she was in his arms, the tears falling freely now.
He pulled back and looked at her, "Forever."
She nodded, her heart bursting with a million different emotions.
"_Forever_," she whispered back solemnly.
* * *
**A/N: What did you guys think? Did you like the proposal? Was a bad idea to get married? What o you think Amanda will do next? Thanks for reading and all the reviews, it much appreciated!**
17. Honeymooners
The ride to the hotel where the ceremony was to be held flew by and before she knew it, she was being whisked into the beautiful glass enclosed garden. Fitz never let go of her hand as they made their way to the officiant who stood in the middle of the Japanese garden styled solarium beneath a quiet waterfall. Even though it was still March, the garden was in full bloom and beautiful flowers adorned the space. The man wasted no time beginning the vows and she could barely follow his speech although she repeated him at all the right times. Please don't let this be a dream, was her last thought before she heard, "Do you Olivia Pope, take this man, Fitzgerald Grant to be your lawfully wedded husband, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do," she responded emotionally, and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Moments later he was instruct Fitz to kiss his bride and she was in his arms, the tears falling freely now.
He pulled back and looked at her, "Forever."
She nodded, her heart bursting with a million different emotions, "Forever, she whispered back solemnly.
She felt almost drunk as they made their way back to the car and she was pretty certain that if Fitz's arms weren't locked around her legs would have given out beneath her. They were met with a barrage of congratulations as they exited the hotel, Huck and Harrison excitedly leading the pack. Harrison offered to drive back to the house where they all would change, grab their luggage and head to the airport. Olivia and Fitz sat in the back seat hand in hand and she felt as if every inch of her body was bursting with energy.
"Are you okay?" he asked squeezing her hand.
"Amazing," she replied giving him a small squeeze in return, "it feels like a dream to be honest."
He pinched her nose playfully, "Nope, not a dream," he joked. Moments later they were pulling into their apartment complex and heading upstairs. As soon as they were all filed into the living room, changed and ready to roll, Huck made an announcement, "Hey, before we go, we bought you two a wedding present."
"Aww, thanks, you guys didn't have to do that, just being here for us was a present enough," Fitz retorted as Huck handed Olivia the professionally wrapped, large, blue box.
"Well, we figured it was only right," Harrison interjected, "the only thing is, we weren't sure what to get. You two are the first of our peers to take the plunge, so we had to rely on google for suggestions. "Go ahead," he urged, "open it up!"
Olivia began unraveling the box delicately, hesitant to disturb the perfectly wrapped paper. "Oh my god, you bought us china," she laughed. "I love it," she said as she fingered the beautiful five piece set and accompanying coffeepot, creamer and sugar bowl. She loved the bold, broad, navy blue bands which wrapped around each piece and she couldn't help but to admire the craftsmanship of the intricately etched gold borders of the silverware which was inlaid with tiny stars.
Fitz picked up a plate, "Wow are these stars and stripes? This is pretty cool."
"Presidential china," Harrison remarked proudly. "There's insurance, too, since Liv is a butterfingers. I'm expecting a dinner party soon!"
She chuckled, "Thank you Harrison and thank you Huck, it's absolutely beautiful. I can't wait to use it."
* * *
They made their way to the airport and breezed through check in and security within fifty minutes. There was still another hour remaining before their flight departed for Costa Rica, so they decided to spend it creating a tentative plan for their vacation activities over the next few days.
"Alright, well first things first," Fitz began laying out the details, "we're all staying at the Four Seasons but our rooms won't exactly be near each other, so it's best we try and coordinate what we're going to do as a group before we arrive. Liv and I have a suite out over the water, and I would have put you guys out near us, but they don't offer separate beds in the bungalows and I figured you wouldn't want to share."
"No thanks," they replied in unison.
Fitz laughed, "I thought as much. So you guys will be up in the main hotel, but we're just a few minutes away walking distance, and there will be a phone in both rooms so we can call each other, too. Your room has two queens."
"Sweet," the chorused together again.
"Great, so we should land by five if everything goes as planned, and the resort is a twenty minute taxi ride from the airport," he continued, "so we should get dinner together." Fitz pulled out his laptop and the group began poring over the list of activities offered at the resort.
Fitz had thought of the idea to pre-plan because even though he loved Harrison and Huck's company, he still wanted to spend quality alone time with Olivia and he knew discussing it beforehand would alleviate stress or aggravation in trying to coordinate romantic time versus friendly, fun time.
After comparing interests the four of them decided to spend the following day's afternoon on a bird watching excursion, but to part ways afterwards until later in the night when they would hit the resort beach club together. Sunday, they planned to do a morning hike and afternoon kayak, splitting up until Monday morning when they would scuba dive and get lunch together. Fitz had a surprise romantic dinner planned for Olivia for Monday night, but they would meet up again for the final time on Tuesday to have a group dinner since it would be their last night in Costa Rica. Wednesday afternoon they would fly back to Boston.
"Sounds like a plan," Fitz beamed as their plane was just being called to board.
* * *
As soon as the taxi pulled into the picturesque resort it finally became real to Olivia that they were actually in Costa Rica, and she was on her honeymoon. They checked in and parted ways, agreeing to meet for dinner in an hour before Harrison and Huck were led upstairs to their suite and Olivia and Fitz escorted back outside in the direction of the beach.
She was delighted when her eyes registered the small abodes out on the water in the distance and she realized that they had to take a small boat out to the unit. Fitz had booked and finalized all the details of the accommodations and was intent on returning the favor of her birthday getaway surprise, so her excitement was growing as they drew nearer to the suite and couldn't wait to see the inside.
The huts grew much larger in size than they appeared from afar as the boat slowed to a stop in front of a case of winding steps that led up from the sparkling waters onto the terrace where there was a small table for two on one side and a couples' hammock on the opposite side. As the bellhop brought up their bags, they explored the unit.
"Wow, Fitz, this is just, _wow_," Olivia commented as they entered their bungalow suite, astonished by its simple beauty. The walls consisted of gleaming stained eucalyptus wood paneling and the roof was thatched in the fashion of a tiki hut. All around the room were strategically placed vases filled with wildly colored orchids. The living area was accessorized with dainty teak-wood furnishings, two chaises and a small brown love seat accompanying a double tiered glass coffee table.
Fitz plopped onto the sofa and threw his arms over the top of the cushions as if he had lived there all his life, "Sit, I wanna show you something."
She lowered herself onto the couch beside him, positioning herself beneath his open arm as he used the other to pull down a lever. She watched in amazement as the bottommost tier of the glass table began sliding into a hidden crevice and she realized there was a rabbit hole of sorts in the floor. He pushed the table over so they could get a closer look, and she peered down, gasping as she took in the sight of the colorful, tropical fish swimming beneath them.
"You can even feed them," Fitz remarked offering her a bowl off of the adjacent end table which was filled with fish pellets.
"This is so cool," she muttered, enthralled the school fluttering beneath them.
"Come on, let's go see the bedroom," he said excitedly taking her hand.
She was wide eyed when they crossed the threshold into the bedroom and instead of paneled wood in front of the bed they discovered an almost imperceptible wall of glass which provided the illusion that the serene expanse of ocean was in their room.
The bed itself was large and adorned with a simple tan bedspread and enormous white pillows, the width of it sprinkled with vibrant flowers and as she moved closer she realized the petals were arranged to spell out 'Mr & Mrs Grant.'"
There was a pair of double doors in the corner which she assumed led to the restroom, however the grandiose standing shower was located inside the bedroom instead of behind the doors. One side of the stall peered out onto the water and all sides of the glass were frosted over to give some semblance of privacy.
She walked over to the door and opened it to reveal a quaint restroom with two mirroring vanities opposite one another and the toilet off to the side. There was another set of double doors in front of her and she opened them to reveal a small deck against a breathtaking backdrop. The space dominated by an oversized porcelain tub.
He sidled up behind her, kissing the top of her head as he pulled her into him, "Do you like it?"
She pressed her head back against his chest in a vain attempt to get closer to him, "I love it, Fitz, this is amazing," she replied earnestly as they gazed out into the blue that seemed to go on forever.
"I'm glad you like it. I rolled our bags in here if you're ready to change. Let's get in the shower."
"Sounds like a plan," she smiled.
She followed him into the bedroom and Fitz sat on the bed and began to undress as she rifled in her bag for something lighter to change into. It was just then when she saw the small pouch she had forgotten about in the haste of the day.
"I have something for you," she called out over her shoulder as she removed the box from the bag.
"For me? What's that?" he asked looking up as he unbuttoned his shirt.
She turned around slowly and smiled at him, a small navy blue box in her hand. "What's that?" he asked again curiously, his eyes intent on the box as she moved to stand between his legs and slowly knelt before him. She opened the box and a small gold band gleamed in the sunlight that bathed the room.
She took his large hand and grinned up at him shyly, "It's nothing even close to the beautiful ring you've given me, and I know they're supposed to match and all, but I wanted to get you something for the time being. Fitz, I love you so much it scares me sometimes, but I know for a fact that I never want to live without you. You amaze and inspire me every single day and some days I wonder why you chose me, but I'm so glad you did. I promise I'm going to be the best wife you could ever dream of and I'll always love, cherish and respect you. You are _everything_ to me," she finished simply as she slid the ring onto his finger.
"Baby," he whispered breathlessly, his words caught in his throat as he slid his hands onto her face. "It's beautiful," he managed to get out as he leaned down to kiss her.
She took his bottom lip into her mouth, deepening the kiss as he slid his hands onto her neck, pulling her up until she was straddling him.
"You already are the best wife I could ever dream of," he whispered into her ear. He locked his arms around her waist, never breaking their kiss as he shifted them into a standing position. He moaned as her fingers grazed his scalp, sending a shiver down his spine as he moved swiftly across the room until he had her pressed up against the outer glass of the shower.
He groaned as he felt her sliding down his body, "I'm gonna turn the shower on," she said turning away from him.
He kissed her neck deliberately as she tried to turn on the water and adjust the temperature at the same time. She was trying to move the dial as deftly as she could, but it was hard to think straight when he was kissing her in that sweet, but torturous spot.
He pulled the rest of their clothes off and walked her into the stall, pressing her up against the glass until her hands splayed haphazardly against the moist surface. She threw her head back against his chest as he sucked on collarbone and he clung to her body desperately as her hips ground purposeful circles onto his throbbing erection. It hadn't even been a full forty-eight hours since they had last made love, but he was desperate to be inside of her. His body was aching for her, craving fulfillment as if she were a drug.
He spun her around skillfully, his hands gripping her thighs in an attempt to slide her slippery body up the wall so he could angle to enter her. But with her tongue was swirling around his and her nails were dragging lightly across his nipples he was losing all sense of space and balance, not realizing their bodies were gliding down the slick walls until they were on the floor of the shower.
Her body was on top of his as the water rained down on them, the strong stream transforming her hair from the long, straight strands into the curls he adored like magic. Her tiny hands were on his chest pushing his back onto the floor and her lips were latching onto his neck causing him to moan as his fingers roamed down her wet body. "Your mine," she muttered into his ear as her teeth nibbled his skin temptingly, small bites meant to both arouse him and mark him as her own.
He gripped her slippery hips as best as he could, lowering her onto him as she used his shoulders to steady herself. He groaned so loudly as he felt her heat enveloping him that he was sure the people occupying neighboring abodes could hear him. He chewed his lip as she began riding him slowly, her hips moving in a quickening pace that was driving him closer to his climax.
He forced his eyelids open so he could see her, her skin dripping and glistening sexily in the glare of the sunlight. "God, I love you," he grumbled throatily as he watched her ride him, her walls clenching dangerously around his cock as her bottom lip quivered. He found pleasure in seeing the signs of her ecstasy and was determined not to let go before she did.
He moved a hand from her hip to throat, bring her lips down to his, "Come for me, Livi," he grumbled moving his hips rhythmically beneath her. She moaned onto his lips and he devoured them, swallowing her cries of pleasure as he followed her into the promised land.
She collapsed slowly onto him as they both tried to regain their lost breath and he could feel her heart beating against his chest. He rotated them so she was partially beneath him on the floor and out of the direct stream of the water. When she opened her eyes he was grinning at her naughtily and she couldn't help but giggle. It never ceased to amaze her what one kiss had the possibility to turn into, and he chuckled too as if sensing her thoughts. They hadn't even been in Costa Rica for two whole hours yet and she was sure this was going to be a blast.
"Hi," he whispered as he caressed her face, trying in vain to wipe the droplets of moisture from her features
"Hi," she whispered back softly.
"We should probably get showering if we want to make it to dinner, huh?" he grinned.
"We probably should," she grinned back, leaning in to kiss him again.
* * *
Olivia wondered what time it was as she opened her eyes to the feeling of Fitz stroking her hair.
"Baby, get up, breakfast is going to be ready in five minutes," he shook her softly as the sun's bright rays invaded her line of sight. She looked up at him, confused to see him already up and about, the smell of his aftershave lingering on his skin. She could swear that just moments ago his body was peacefully nestled beneath hers, his arms secured around her waist.
"Meet me out on the terrace," he said kissing her forehead.
"Okay," she mumbled as she lumbered out of the bed to brush her teeth and wash her face, thankful that she was already clothed. After she finished with her face and teeth she decided that her hair definitely was in need of a brush. She was still wrangling with her unruly mane more than five minutes later when she heard what she thought was a guitar strumming.
_No way_, she thought as a puzzled expression crossed her face and curiosity took over, completely abandoning her hair to go out to see what Fitz was up to.
When she stepped onto the terrace Fitz was beaming at her, a dazzling bouquet of purple and orange orchids in his grasp. "Good morning, beautiful," he said with a boyish smile as he waited for her reaction. On the table in front of him was a beautifully set table for two and her eye was immediately drawn to the mouth watering serving of French Toast displayed on the plates beside two poached eggs, bacon and strawberries.
"Fitz, this is amazing," she uttered in disbelief as she closed the distance to embrace him.
He kissed her with a smile, "I heard French toast was your favorite."
Before she could respond she heard the sound that originally drew her out and just then she spotted the source. Floating in a small canoe just a few feet out from their bungalow was a middle aged man with a guitar and a young woman behind him, both smiling unnaturally hard at them.
He started up again, but this time instead of playing just a single chord, he queued up a full song, the melody slow and romantic, and the woman began singing along. The song was in Spanish, so she couldn't understand the words, but she as she gazed up at Fitz it was like the lyrics were being translated in his eyes, and she could feel all the original love and emotion she was sure the original composer was hoping to convey. She found herself speechless as he returned her gaze lovingly, and she never wanted to let him out of this embrace.
"_Forever_," he whispered intently, leaning down to kiss her again.
* * *
They walked hand in hand to the lobby of the main hotel a little after ten o'clock that night to meet up with Harrison and Huck before making their way over to the private beach club. That afternoon the four of them had enjoyed bird watching together in the nearby forests, and afterwards Olivia and Fitz had spent the day on beach, jet skiing and relaxing on the soft sands before deciding upon a couples' massage and facials.
When they spotted the pair exiting the elevator they joined up and moved as a group down the beach area where the club was located. It was really not much more than a large roped off section on the upper tier of the beach close to where the edge dropped off so that it had a nice elevated view of the lower beach and water. There was a small, but full service, tiki bar in the corner and music, but it was nice. Even though the spot was brimming with occupants, a mixed crowd of people on vacation looking to have fun, they were able to get a good table rather quickly.
They were seated at a wide table directly overlooking the beach and the waitress immediately took their orders. The foursome accepted her recommendation and ordered a round of Costa Rican beer that was specially made on site. Before Olivia was even three quarters of the way finished with her drink she could feel it coursing through her.
"Babe, I'm gonna go find the bathroom real quick," she said standing.
"Okay," he replied simply, rising to escort her.
"I think I can find it by myself," she chuckled.
"I know, I just-," he hesitated uncomfortably, "you sure you don't want me to come with you?"
She leaned up and kissed him, "Sit, enjoy your beer, I'll be right back," she reassured him and he watched her hips sway as she moved farther and farther from him. He knew she was capable of finding it just fine, but he hated the thought of her traveling around the island without him. There were a lot of people roaming about haplessly, many of them drinking and drunk, and he prayed no one tried anything stupid. He saw the way men looked at her, even with his arms wrapped around her, and it drove him halfway crazy though he did his best to hide it. He knew it wouldn't take much get him out of character in order to protect her and he hoped not to be provoked.
"Hey guys, can we join you?" A voice called out, breaking up his thoughts. He looked up and three girls were smiling at them._ Oh lord_, he thought to himself as they pulled chairs over to the table before he could verbalize his hesitancy.
"Of course, always room for beautiful ladies," Harrison retorted charmingly, flashing his million dollar smile. The girls introduced themselves and he gave them a small smile but didn't engage, allowing Harrison and Huck to take the lead. The girls seemed nice enough but he didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression, especially Olivia.
_I wonder what is taking her so long,_ he thought to himself as he noticed over fifteen minutes had gone by. He was sipping his beer and laughing at one of Harrison's jokes when something to the east caught his eye. There was a petite woman talking to the man checking room keys at the entryway, and he could tell the by the body language that the guy was being flirtatious and the lady was shaking her head and crossing her arms, clearly not reciprocating.
"Shit, that's Liv," he mumbled to himself as he got a better glimpse of her dress in the light. Before his thoughts were even fully formed he felt himself rising to cross the patio at an urgent pace. As he got closer he saw her smile in recognizance and he felt his face doing the same in spite of his irritation.
"There he goes," she grinned at him, sliding past the man to embrace him.
He leaned down to kiss her and shot the guy a menacing look, "Is everything okay?"
"Sorry, guy," the man grinned stupidly, "I didn't know that was your girl. Should stay close to a pretty thing like her."
"Yeah, it's fine," she replied nonchalantly, grabbing his hand and pulling him in the direction of their table, but his body stayed planted firmly in its place.
"Are you sure? he asked again, still grilling him."
"Baby," she called him softly and he finally broke his glare and looked at her, "Come on," she urged tugging him away from the man. She moved them swiftly out of the conflict zone towards their table and noticed the new additions to their party across from Harrison and Huck. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy mixed with irriatation as she noticed one girl had set up her chair directly across from Fitz's, even though his chair was angled towards her empty one.
"Liv!" Harrison called out, "you finally made it back!"
"Finally, right," Fitz teased, already feeling lighthearted again. "Guys, this is my wife, Olivia." As they introduced themselves he sat down in his seat and pulled her onto his lap before she could sit back in her own chair.
"Made some friends I see," she ribbed as she snuggled into him.
"It just kind of happened," he chuckled
Thry both looked up at the sound of Huck vehemently shouting 'No!' to one of the girls playfully, as they debated the quality of the Batman trilogy. Fitz wasn't sure if it was the beer, warm weather, or change of scenery, but Huck was coming out of his usual stoic shell and leading the conversation for once.
Another round of beers had come and he sipped slowly as they listened to them go back and forth. Olivia jumped in intermittently but Fitz was content to just listen as he drew lazy circles on Olivia's shoulders. He was engrossed with tracing the lines of her beautiful back, the feeling of her soft skin far more compelling than their movie debate.
He was obsessed with the sensation of her skin under his fingers, so silky and perfect. He felt so alive when he touched her and he couldn't help bringing his lips to the top the small of her back left exposed where her dress dipped down. She looked back and grinned at him, lacing her fingers lightly over his and dragging her nails across his digits and the crevices in between them as she shifted her ass strategically against his crotch. He bit back a groan as to not draw attention to them but he could feel himself growing harder with every light stroke of her nails. He squeezed her hand between his gently and brought their intertwined fingers to his lips to kiss her ring finger, giving her a knowing look.
"Guys, we're gonna go for a walk," he announced pulling her up to her feet and standing directly behind her to block his growing erection from view of the group. He wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug and walked them in the direction of the lower beach which was sparsely populated. He stopped towards the end when he found a secluded spot.
Fitz pulled her down to the sand and she laid beside him horizontally, her head draped across his lap. He ran his fingers over her forehead, nose, lips until he held her chin in his hand.
"I didn't invite those girls over, you know," he explained without her asking.
She chuckled, "I never said you did."
"I know, I just didn't want you to think anything."
She sat up, "Babe, you're allowed to talk to people."
He kissed her, "Well you're not."
She grinned, "I'm not?"
"Nope, didn't you know that's what getting married means? I get to lock you up and keep you all to myself now," he said tickling her gently.
"I actually like that sound of that," she laughed softly as she pushed him down onto the sand and began heaping sand onto his chest playfully.
"Now who's all locked up?" she giggled as she started pouring the sand on more earnestly. "Don't move," she commanded as she began covering his upper body until it disappeared beneath the small crystalline specks.
He laid back, letting her work and she moulded the mounds unconsciously until she recognized the beginnings of a sand mermaid. Once she realized what she was doing, she started poring over the details and he watched her face as she concentrated on her work. After a few minutes she patted his neck in finality and stood to take him in. She threw her head back and cackled at her Frankenstein like creation, his blue jean covered legs juxtaposed to the sandy breasts of her half done mermaid.
"What? I wanna see!"
"Man, I wish I would've brought my camera, amazing! I wish you could see it babe."
"Yeah, it's too bad," he agreed, sure that he looked a mess. "Am I allowed to get up now?"
"Sure," she conceded as he raised himself up out of the sand, groaning like the hulk which caused her to burst into another fit of laughter. "You are so silly sometimes," she laughed.
He pulled his shirt over his head and slipped off his shoes grabbing her hand to pull her close, "Come on, help me get some of this sand off," he grinned leading her towards the shore.
They went out to stand beside a large boulder that sheltered them from view of any passersby where the water reached Olivia's knees and she began cupping the water and pouring it over his shoulders and chest until his skin was clear. When she was done she splashed his back for good measure, sending up a wave which wet up his shorts.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, two can play that game," he laughed, sending a huge wave over her head.
"Fitz!" she cried out as he escalated the exchange, leaving her hair and dress dripping wet. She stared at him expectantly but he just grinned at her.
She took both hands and scooped up enough water to completely drench his pants and before she could blink he was on her, wrestling them down into the water until they were both completely soaked, splashing and laughing hysterically in he darkness.
She stood and he felt intoxicated with the sight of her as she smiled down at him in the moonlight, dripping wet from head to toe with her dress clinging seductively to her curves.
She looked down at herself, "Baby, you can see through my dress now," she giggled.
"Don't worry, I'll carry you," he promised
She reached down for his hand and he stood to tower over her. He leaned against the boulder and pulled her flush against him, his hand running through her sopping curls, "I love you, Livi."
"I love you, too," she responded with her head against his chest.
He pulled back so he could gaze into her eyes, "I just want you to know that I'm yours, here,"he brought his hand to his head, "and especially here," he brought her hand over his heart, "and always here," he grinned as he moved her hand to his hardness, his mouth devouring hers. She kept her hand over his cock, stroking it intently to match the pace of their kiss. "Mmmm, Livi, don't stop," he moaned into her mouth.
"I need you, right now," she breathed.
He didn't waste any time turning them around so her back was against the stone as he began hiking up her dress. He was extremely thankful for the cover the large rock provided as he lined himself up to her opening, his hands clutching her thighs as he thrust himself inside, taking shelter in his rightful home.
She lodged her head in his shoulder and he readjusted them against the rock so he could free one hand. He wrapped his fingers around her neck and moved her head back, "I need to see you, Livi," he grumbled softly.
Their pace was frantic and furious, his adrenaline rushing from the spontaneity of the moment and adventurousness of the locale. He felt himself spilling inside of her in spite his best efforts to hold back.
"We are _definitely_ coming back to Costa Rica," he mumbled softly against her ear.
* * *
Monday night came in a flash and Olivia couldn't believe she had little more than twenty four hours left on their trip. They had spent the previous day's morning hiking through the lush, picturesque trails of the Costa Rican rain forest and the afternoon kayaking over the waters of the secluded beaches along the peninsula which were accessible only by water.
As if that weren't taxing enough, her and Fitz had spent hours on the beach that night, kissing and talking until they were watching the sunrise. They had already made reservations to scuba dive with Harrison and Huck at seven that morning, so they didn't chance going to sleep. Instead they took a what was supposed to be a quick shower but turned into a session of love making in the shower and subsequently drug themselves to the cafe for coffee before their water excursion. They excused themselves from lunch, far too tired to eat and ended up napping in their bed until evening.
It was eight o'clock when their canoe came for them, the man paddling them along in the direction of the open water as they watched the island disappear behind them. They reached a sandy beach and were escorted towards a small canopied area where a chilled bottle of champagne and two flutes were awaiting their arrival.
"Mr. and Mrs. Grant, you are just in time for the sunset," their escort informed them.
They held hands and watched as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, and the moment the sky was absent of its largest star the man began leading them down a short path littered with rose petals.
When they came to the end of the path there was a small candle-lit table set for two, just feet away from the glimmering waters of the ocean.
When they were seated he took her hands over the table, "I love you, Olivia Grant, and I'm so happy that you made an honest man out of me," he grinned at her. "All I ever want to do is make you happy, and I promise to honor and protect you until my dying breath."
She coud feel the tears selling up in her eyes, "Fitz, I-. This is amazing. I don't even know what to say, I'm speechless."
"You don't have to say anything, Livi, I know."
As he brought her fingers to his lips, she noticed figures seemingly emerging from the trees. She had been so enthralled with the scenery and Fitz that she hadn't noticed that there were other people lurking about. A drum began to beat slowly, the momentum quickly picking up by the second and fires began to go up in succession, their poles spinning too fast for the eye to process.
"It's beautiful," she whispered in awe, not sure if he could hear her over the drums. He squeezed her fingers between his and instantly she couldn't bear the distance of the small table between them. She rose and he immediately pushed back from the table to allow her space to slide onto his lap as if he could read her mind. She draped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips onto his as his strong arms swallowed her up.
She pulled back to take him in, the light of the fire playing on his beautiful, chiseled features. "Thank you," she whispered, needing somehow to express her appreciation and gratitude, but knowing no words could ever be enough.
"Don't _**ever**_ thank me for loving you," he whispered back forcefully, his lips crashing onto hers again.
* * *
_I can't believe it's over_, Fitz thought as he looked out of the window as they descended upon Logan International Airport.
"Back to reality," Olivia sighed in his arms as the pilot came on over the intercom to let them know they were at their final destination and would be allowed to exit the plane momentarily. Fitz figured it was as good a time as any to turn his phone back on, and he an email notification immediately flashed across his screen,
Sender: Cyrus
Subject: Urgent
"Shit," he groaned as he swiped to open the message, apprehensive as to what laid inside.
**Need to meet with you as soon as you get back from vacation, I'm in the office until six each day.**
**-Cyrus**
"What happened?'
"Nothing, just an email from Cyrus. He says he needs to meet with me ASAP and its urgent."
"Oh, did he say what about?"
"Nope..." he trailed off, his mind racing as he tried to think of a logical reason Cyrus would need to see him urgently.
"Oh, yikes. Do you think...?"
"I don't know, Livi. But I think I should tell him."
"Really? Now? We haven't even figured out a plan of attack."
"I know, but I think Cyrus would be a good ally to have and I don't want Amanda Tanner to tell him before I get a chance. She's unstable and we don't know when she might explode. It'll seem much less twisted and dirty if it comes from me."
She sighed, "Okay, if you're sure." She cupped his face and kissed him, "Go get him on the team."
* * *
Fitz took a deep breath before he knocked on the slightly ajar door, "Hello Cyrus, how are you?"
"I'm great, how was your vacation, you look very tan!"
"It was absolutely amazing, best few days of my life. It's been a transformative week," he dangled the introductory carrot and hoped he would take the bait.
"How so?"
"I got married on Friday," he smiled widely.
"_Married_? Shit Fitz, I didn't even know you were dating anyone seriously, let alone engaged!" he exclaimed.
"I know, it all happened kind of fast."
"Who is the lucky woman?" Cyrus asked, his curiosity piqued.
"Olivia Pope," Fitz replied simply.
Cyrus furrowed his brows, "Stop fucking around, who is it?"
He sighed, "I'm not kidding...I married Olivia Pope."
Cyrus shook his head ardently, "Fitz, no, please tell me this is some kind of sick joke."
"Cyrus, I know, it's against the grain and I shouldn't-"
"Are you fucking nuts?!" he rasped, his face turning a sickening shade of red. "You have to have lost your _entire_ mind. She's a little girl, your student, for christ's sake!"
"She is **not** a little girl, she is twenty years old-"
"Twenty?! _**Twenty**_ fucking years old, Fitz? That's practically a baby bride!"
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm being ridiculous? **_I'm_** being ridiculous," he repeated increduously, "Where are her damn parents, they are going to murder you!"
"Her parents are deceased," Fitz replied seriously.
"Okay, I get it now, so she's little orphan Livi and you're daddy Warbucks, but you can't save her Fitz, whatever her problems are, it's not up to you to fix!" he strained to keep from raising his voice.
"It's not about that, Cyrus," he started.
"I get it, she's smart, and she's a very pretty girl, I bet the sex is amazing, but you're not thinking straight, Fitzgerald. This could _**ruin**_ you. Marriage? Why her?! Why _now_?! I don't get it, if this is all you say it is, you guys were doing a good job at hiding it, why rock the boat? Okay, buy her a ring, propose, play house for all I care, you're not the first to bed a student and you certainly won't be the last, but to actually _marry_ her? While she's not only a student at the school that you work at, but _**your**_ student? Fitz, it's career suicide! Fix this, Fitz, you fix this now, you need to get an annulment, ASAP!"
"Cyrus, are you finished? Now, Let's get something straight here, I am not bedding a student, nor do I have a complex. Olivia...Liv,is the love of my life. I married her because we're in love and she deserves security. She's graduating next year and we are planning a life together and I don't care who doesn't like it. We are going to be together and _not_ in the shadows. I'm tired of letting outside forces determine my happiness. This job doesn't define me, and if I have to let it go, it will suck, but I can live without it. I can't live without her. I came to you because you've been like a mentor to me these past few months and I was hoping we could work together to figure out a way that this won't be catastrophic and if possible, I could continue on in my position. But if you don't think it's possible, i will hand in my resignation,-"
"No," Cyrus growled pointedly.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, no. Fitz, there was a reason I asked you to come in and meet with me today. I was offered the position of president of the college and I intend to take the position. However if I do so I won't be able to teach this class and I don't trust it with just anyone, this course is my baby and it's a corner stone of our law program. I can't leave the course in the hands some random asshole who looks great on paper, but can't lead a classroom for shit. You're different Fitz, you have _it._ I want you to take this position. I also had a chat with the mayor earlier this week and he is going to ask you be his lead speech writer. I'm not going to let you throw these opportunities away. We're going to work this out. Where is she?"
"She's home, now. There's one thing though, I think Professor Tanner knows about us."
"You let me handle Tanner. I'm going to gather some materials, old cases and things that may help us. Tell Olivia to come to the law library tomorrow after four, because you'll be meeting with the mayor himself and she'll be researching how to get us out of this mess."
"Thank you, Cyrus," Fitz beamed, overjoyed, "you don't realize how much this means to me."
"It's my pleasure, Fitzgerald. I believe in you. Now, go home to your wife and you two get ready for tomorrow."
"Will do, have a good night Cy," he smiled, closing the door behind him.
As soon as the door clicked shut Cyrus had the phone to his ear, "Listen, I need you to get me as much information as you can on Olivia Pope in the next twenty four hours. If she so much as pissed her pants in the second grade I want to fucking know about it"
* * *
Olivia was poring over the books Cyrus had left for her in the law library when she heard feet shuffling her way.
"Hey Olivia," he called genially, "how is the research going?"
"Not bad, Professor Beene, I actually found a couple of interesting things we might be able use in our favor."
"Good, good. Quick question, how old are you?"
She smiled up at him, "Twenty."
He could almost smell the innocence wafting off of her and it was making him sick, "So tell me, why would a girl as young and beautiful as yourself want to get married?"
"Because I love him and I don't want to be with anyone else," she replied without hesitation looking back down at the document in front of her.
"Olivia, have you ever even been with anyone else?"
"No, but what does it matter?" she asked, looking at him curiously.
"It matters because you're selling yourself short. Don't you want to experience life? There's a lot more to marriage than love, you know."
"Like what?"
"I don't _know_," he replied frustrated, "there just **is**. What I'm trying to tell you is that you don't want to go through with this. There will be repercussions, you won't come out of this unscathed."
"It's a little late for that, we're already married," she said defiantly, crossing her arms.
"There are ways around that. You can get it annulled, or get a divorce. But either way, I need you to handle this, Olivia. You're a smart girl and Fitz will listen to you. Tell him you changed your mind and that maybe next year, after you graduate, you two can rethink this whole thing and do it over if you still feel the same way. But this, here, now, has to end, Olivia. Fitz is a brilliant man, he has his whole career in front of him, why would you want to ruin that for him?"
"I'm not ruining anything, he wants-"
"He doesn't know what he wants. What he wants is to build a legacy for himself, to have a career that is meaningful, and you know it. He comes from the Grant family, do you understand what that means? His family is a political powerhouse, it is in his blood even if he doesn't realize it yet. Once he does, and the cum drunk wears off, he'll begin to resent you. He is good at what he does, Olivia. Did he tell you he's up for a promotion here? Also, I spoke with mayor over break, he wants Fitz to be on his staff to permanently replace his speech writer. **_All_** down the drain if this comes out. He sits on the city council for Christ's sakes, don't you see this is _**bigger**_ than Harvard? This will make the papers, maybe even the news. Don't do it to yourself, Olivia. They are going to frame him as the pervert or you as the vixen, take your choice," he continued to hammer her as he saw the truth finally dawning on her face.
He lowered his voice and added edge to it, "People are going to get curious about your background, Ms. Pope. They are going to ask about the fact that your mother's blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit when she died in that fiery crash oh so many years ago. They are also going to inquire about that police report from sophomore year of high school alluding to abuse in the home, and your drunken uncle."
"How did you-?!" she cried incredulously.
"That's just the tip of the iceberg, Olivia, I'm sure of it. If I can come up with that in under a day, what do you think journalists are going to do? This is not some no name college in some no name town, they are going to rip you both to shreds. Do you really want to place yourself under that kind of scrutiny?"
"But, Fitz, we-," he could see her grasping for straws, anything to hold onto the fantasy of love.
"Fitz is just a _man_, Olivia. He is thinking with his little head instead of his big one, it's up to you to set this right. I'm looking out for you. I know he's gotten into your head with these fairy tales of forever, and I hate to be the one to break it to you little girl, but life is not a romance novel. Once the pressure gets to be too much, you're going to be left in the dust. I've seen it happen before. It's not worth it. Not only will your past be dug up, but they're also going to call your integrity into question. People might begin to wonder if that A you're getting in my class was earned at your desk or on your back, integrity board might-"
"Okay, I get it, just stop, please," he could hear the tears almost in her voice and he knew he had succeeded.
"Do the right thing, Olivia," he said turning to leave, "do the right thing.
* * *
A/N: so what did you guys think of the honeymoon? Was it a bad idea to go see Cyrus? Do you think he crossed the line? I love reading everyone's reviews, thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!
18. Fallout
Fitz pulled into the parking lot of his office building feeling on top of the world. _This just may work out to be the best week of my life_, he thought as he lumbered out of the car up to the law library where Olivia was working. His meeting with the mayor had gone swimmingly well, and he felt optimistic that with himself, Olivia and Cyrus all putting their heads together, they could work through initial shockwave that their marriage would cause.
His appointment had taken less than the time he had estimated, so he was surprised to find the workspace he had left her at earlier abandoned and Olivia no place in sight. He recognized one of her books left haphazardly on the floor as if she had hurried out in a haste, which was out of character because Olivia was typically meticulous about her belongings.
"Weird," he mumbled to himself as he picked it up and pulled out his phone to call her. His stomach sunk when the line just rang and rang until her voicemail picked up.
He decided to check Cyrus' office, hoping that maybe they decided to work together in his office, and she was there instead.
Fitz knocked twice to get his attention when he sidled up to the door, "Hey Cy, you wouldn't happened to have seen where Olivia went, have you?"
He looked up with eyebrows raised in surprise, "No, no clue. She's not in the law library, huh? Did you give her a call?"
"Yeah, I did. No answer."
Cyrus furrowed his brows, "Odd. Well, I don't know Fitz. She was reading in the library when I saw her last, maybe she stepped out to get a coffee or something. How did your big meeting go?"
"Amazing, he officially offered me the position. I asked him to give me a couple of days to get my business situated first before I give an official answer, though, but it sounds perfect. I was just coming to take Liv out to dinner and see what she thinks about it."
"Congrats! I told you, you have something special, and everyone sees it Fitz. This is a great power move for you. I'm sure Olivia's around here somewhere, and she wants nothing more than to see you live up to your full potential. You should go find her," he finished with a smile.
"Thanks, Cyrus. I appreciate your support."
* * *
Fitz checked main library, student center and even the dining hall before deciding to head home. He called her four more times on his way to their apartment, but when the phone ceased to ring and began being routed straight to voicemail, he felt apprehension growing in the pit of his stomach.
_Something is not right_, he thought to himself. He entered the house hoping to find Olivia in the bed asleep or in the shower, but his worst fears were confirmed when he found their apartment empty.
He paced the living room back and forth, a nervous habit that he had picked up from her, his nerves fraying by the millisecond.
_I am not going to drink, I am not going to drink, I am not going to drink,_ he chanted to himself as he walked the length of the living room. He went to his study and tried to paint, however he found himself listless and unable to concentrate. His last sketch of Olivia taunted him, the lines of her smile etched onto the paper ruining all attempts at concentration.
He pulled out his phone and dialed. When he answered Fitz cut straight to the chase, "Hey Harrison, is Olivia with you?"
"No, I haven't seen her since yesterday," he hesitated, "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything's fine," Fitz replied, hanging up before Harrison could ask any more questions. The last thing he wanted was for him to know they were having troubles already.
Fitz tried to occupy himself with classwork, but when the sun set and the clock passed eight he piled back into his car, unable to bear the four walls of the apartment any longer. He patrolled the perimeter of campus until he was almost in tears with worry. He didn't know whether to be angry or afraid for her safety and it was driving him crazy.
Clueless as to what to do next, Fitz returned home to a dark living room. He removed his clothes except for his undershirt and boxers and sat on the couch feeling completely lost, the knot in the pit of his stomach growing each minute. He dialed her number so many times he lost count before giving up. He looked at the time, **9:57.** He decided that if she didn't come home by midnight he would have to call the police and report her missing. "Where are you, Livi?" he mumbled to the empty apartment as he say staring into the distance.
* * *
Fitz was still perched on the sofa in the dark when he heard the key slide into the door, and the door creak open. He heard her slip into the house and try to shut the door quietly. When he heard the click of the lock he made his presence known.
"Where the _**hell**_ have you been?" he heard his voice boom across the room, his words dripping with fury.
She jumped, startled by his voice in the darkness. She turned on the light before responding, "Fitz, you scared me."
He was on the edge of the couch as if he was ready to pounce, his pecs and biceps struggling against the tight white cotton t-shirt and his bottom clad only plain black boxers. From the clench of his jaw and the lines around his furrowed eyebrows she could tell he was hours past angry.
He rose from his seated position, "I scared _you_? I scared **_you_**?! Do you know what fucking time it is, Olivia?"
"Yes," she replied weakly, not sure what else to say.
He stalked over to her until they were only inches apart, "I haven't heard from you in over eight hours, Olivia, and all you can say is yes. I'm going to ask you **one** more time, where the hell have you been?"
Now that he was closer she could see that his face was flushed, the tips of his ears were on fire and his eyes were red. He was enraged, and if it were anyone but Fitz she would be afraid, but instead all she felt was guilt. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him or make him angry, but she had succeeded in doing just that.
"I-I," she stuttered, not sure where to start. She sighed, "I'm sorry, Fitz, it was just that I needed some time to think."
"And you couldn't pick up the damn phone to tell me that? A simple text message would have sufficed! Do you know how _sick_ I was worrying about you? I was ten minutes from calling the damn cops! Olivia, what in the world is wrong with you?!"
"I'm-"
"Actually, you know what, right now I'm so pissed at you now **_I_** need time to think," he snarled, turning on his heels and stomping down the hall.
Seconds later she heard the door slam and the frame shake under the weight of his anger. She followed him down the hallway and stood at the door, hesitant to knock. He had never used that tone of voice with her and she wasn't sure if she should push the issue or let him marinate.
She considered it for a moment, but she had already left him stewing for eight hours so she figured it was probably best that she at least tried to talk to him.
Olivia knocked lightly on the door and pushed it open to find him laying on the bed with his MacBook on his lap, staring intently at the computer.
"Fitz, can I please explain myself?" she asked meekly.
He didn't take his eyes off of the screen, "I'm not sure I really feel like talking right now. You know what, maybe in oh, _seven_ and a half more hours I'll come find you and we can talk it out then."
She sighed, "I know you're upset with me."
"**_Livid_**."
"Livid with me. But will you please give me a chance to explain?"
He finally looked at her and spoke with an icy tone, "I'm pretty sure I said I don't want to hear your explanation right now."
She stood there frozen and feeling sick. He always made it easy for her to express herself, but right now she was hitting a brick wall and she was scared. Part of her was wondering if she had pushed him too far and he was through with her.
"Baby,-" she started.
"No," he growled slamming the laptop closed and throwing his legs over the side of the bed, "you don't get to call me that right now, **not** after what you put me through tonight! We're married, Olivia, or did you forget that?" he asked incredulously.
"I couldn't call you," she stated simply, grasping for a way to defuse the situation.
"Why not?"
She stood there trembling and unsure of how to explain herself or her inner turmoil, she didn't even know where to start. Before she could stop herself she was moving from the her position at the door to the side of the bed.
She dropped onto her knees before him and threw her head into his lap and started sobbing, "I'm _sorry_ Fitz, I really am. I was scared. I was trying to be strong but he just kept **_hammering_** at me. I'm screwed up and everyone is going to know it, but I don't care, I want to be with you, I don't care," she rambled.
His demeanor softened, immediately shaken by her sudden outburst, "Livi, please, slow down, I'm not following you." He tried to lift her head out of his lap but she resisted him, preferring to cry into his body.
He rubbed the nape of her neck for a few minutes hoping it would calm her, but the intensity of her sobs seemed to increase. He wrapped his hands under her arms and lifted her into his lap against her will, kissing her tears away gently as she kept her eyes clenched shut.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, I shouldn't have screamed at you like that. I'm sorry. I was just scared, babe. When you walked through the door it was a relief, but I was furious because you left me worried all day and I was thinking that maybe you were hurt somewhere. Or even worse, I was scared that somehow I had done something and you were leaving me. But baby, I didn't mean to upset you."
"It's not you," she whispered.
"Okay, well I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm listening. Can you tell me what's wrong? When I dropped you off everything seemed fine, what happened?"
"I was working on research and Cyrus came in...We started talking and he just started in on me. He knew things, Fitz."
"Cyrus?" he sighed in disbelief. He should have known better than to leave her there with him after the conversation they had yesterday. Cyrus had given up the fight with him far too easily, and from what he knew of him that meant he had a plan b, not that he was defeated. He felt himself growing pissed as he replayed their earlier scene in Cyrus' office where had asked him specifically about Olivia, and he had played stupid. "Fucking _Cyrus_. Things like what? What did he say to you?"
At that question her bottom lip started quivering and he knew that Cyrus really must have shaken her up. She didn't speak for a few moments, gathering her bearings until her expressive face was blank. "I'm not sure how he knows, I guess its probably public record somehow...It's about my mom and the crash I told you about. I didn't say so, but she was the one driving under the influence. She was ridiculously drunk and lost control of the car."
"Livi..."
"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think badly of her. Regardless of her drinking, she was a good mother, you have to believe that. I couldn't bear thinking that you thought of her as some stupid drunk who deserved it for being irresponsible enough to drink and drive in the first place, so I didn't mention that part."
"Baby, I would _never_ think something like that about your mother," he tried to reassure her.
She looked up at the ceiling, "I thought you might, because I did...for a long time. I was _**so**_ mad at her. I felt like she abandoned me. I told myself it was dumb to be sad for her because she did it to herself, and that she could've killed someone innocent in the process, but I didn't want anyone else to think it, too... Every so often she would go into these depressions. At night sometimes, when she thought I was asleep, I would hear her crying. Some nights she would crawl into my bed and lay with me, but she reeked. I never put two and two together until one night I got up to use the bathroom and found her slumped over the toilet with a bottle of wine by her feet. When she woke up in the morning she either didn't remember or didn't want to talk about it, so I never brought it up, but I knew. It was cyclical, whenever she got a new boyfriend it would stop for a while, until they hit a rough patch. It went on for years like that, until the accident. But yeah, that's what happened. Cyrus said people might look into it...bring it up. I thought you should know the whole truth from me," she stated with no emotion. It was like she had disconnected from it, and it had happened to someone else.
He shook his head, dumbfounded, "Livi, I'm sorry you had to go through that all by yourself. Your mother, no matter what her issues, loved you and _that's_ what's important. I would never, ever look down on her. Especially because I know she's a special part of you. Personally, I know first hand how it easy it is to get caught up with alcohol, particularly when you feel like you're all alone and the whole universe is against you."
"Really?" she looked at him hopefully, searching his eyes for understanding.
"Yes, really. Scotch is not my friend," he chuckled sadly. "It's been a crutch for me. Instead of feeling and working through the sadness or anger or whatever overwhelming emotion was bothering me, I would drink until all I could focus on was seeing in a straight line. I decided that I don't want to be that person anymore, but it's not easy to break the pattern. All kinds of people struggle with alcohol, and it doesn't necessarily make them weak, and it definitely doesn't mean they deserve to die."
Olivia shook her head in agreement, "I see that now that I'm a little older and know a little bit more about life. Love is not simple. I know I would probably lose my mind if you left me," she stared at him longingly, "so it puts things into perspective for me."
"Baby," he kissed her, "I would never leave you, but if god forbid anything ever happened to me you would be just fine. You're a gladiator Liv, I know you would be okay."
"But I don't _want_ to be okay without you," she countered sadly.
"As long as I can help it, you won't ever have to be. Just please, don't close me out Olivia, don't run from me."
"I'm trying, Fitz, I need you to believe me. It's just that sometimes I can't help it. It's what I've always done to cope when things are crazy or overwhelming. I just needed some time to be inside of my own mind because everything just felt so loud. It's like if I don't, I'll go crazy. I know it sounds insane, but every so often I need to have a conversation with myself to figure out how much of what I'm thinking and feeling is genuine and what isn't. I'm sorry I worried you and left you hanging, you have every right to be pissed at me. But Fitz, I'm _here_. I was scared and I was worried for a moment that maybe he was right, and maybe this was just some fleeting fantasy or a dream, but it was just fear, and I'm _here_. I don't want to hide from you. I'm in this."
"I love you Livi, I don't want you to doubt that."
She shook her head, "It's not you I doubt, Fitz," she replied swallowing hard, "it's not you," she repeated, and he could see the tears welling up in her eyes but she refused to let any more fall.
He could feel his heart breaking, "Why do you doubt that you're worthy of my love?"
"Because...Fitz...I don't know. It's stupid." She sighed, "After hearing how stupid and worthless you are and how you'll only ever be good for laying on your back for years and years you start to believe it. I hate myself for letting him get into my head and making me always doubt and question myself, but he succeeded," said stated, resigned. "There was something else he mentioned. A report from high school from when I had an accident in gym class and dislocated my shoulder. The school nurse checked me out and she saw bruises...too many to ignore. I begged and begged her not to tell anyone, but she said she was mandated to report suspected abuse, so it was a thing for a while."
Fitz was speechless. She had alluded to problems at home before and how much of an ass her uncle was to her, but she had never been specific. "Olivia, what happened?"
"I denied it. I was scared and I knew my aunt wouldn't back me up. She made it seem like I was just an angry, maladjusted teen because my mother died. She told me I would end up some place worse and get Harrison put in foster care. I was afraid of being separated from him. I know that sounds weak of me," she added meekly, sounded defeated.
"Olivia, no. You did what you felt was right and necessary at the time. That's not weak, that's survival."
"It's just not fair that he gets to live his life with no repercussions after he tortured me for years, all because I was too afraid to speak up. He tried to make it seem like I deserved to be violated somehow, or that I liked it. I hate him."
"Olivia, did he...did he hurt you?" he asked timidly, and she immediately could feel the weight of the question hanging in the air.
"He tried, but no. Harrison saved me and we figured out ways to outsmart him, so instead he would just go into rages and beat and berate me. Anyway, that stuff was supposed to be private and sealed, but somehow Cyrus got his hands on it. He says people will ask questions and it may reflect poorly on me and I might spare myself by divorcing you."
"_Cyrus_ said this to you?" he huffed in disbelief. "I knew he was the kind of person to use underhanded tactics, but I never thought he was a cruel man. This is disgusting. You were a victim, Liv, your uncle's actions in no way reflect on you. Anyone who would try to use that against you is despicable and I refuse to let him mess with your head like that. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind, -"
"Babe, maybe you shouldn't."
"What? Why not? If you think I'm going to let him get away with that bullshit,-"
"Fitz, listen, I'm pissed about it too. I won't lie, it screwed my head up for a bit, but I thought about it, and it's better if we keep him close rather than burn that bridge right now. I did some brainstorming, and I remembered that my freshman year one of the guys I know who was a year ahead of me told me this rumor. Apparently at one of these law department dinners, he caught Cyrus in a compromising position...with another man."
He raised his brows, "Really? Cyrus? Are you sure? He's been married for years."
She shrugged, "That's what he said. With some professor from the journalism department, James Novak. I figured it was worth a chance, so I looked on the directory and got Novak's number, since I already had Cyrus'. I pulled up his phone records and they seem to be in frequent contact."
"Wow, so you think there's something there? This could be the leverage we need to get him on our team."
"I know," she said excitedly, "that's why I'm going to dig deeper. Huck has been teaching me a program that hacks into cell phone data and tower activity, so I was going to see if he'd help me since I'm still new at it."
He gave her a small smile, "I'm glad you came home, Olivia. No matter how dirty Cyrus plays, or what he says, you know in your heart that I choose you. I would and will **always** choose you," he said as he kissed her slowly, fingering the button of her jeans. He unzipped them before gently tugging them down over the soft curve of her hips. He traced the fringe of her small pink underwear before removing them and then raised her shirt over her head. He cupped her breasts through her bra, kissing the top of each one softly before unhooking it and pulling it away.
Olivia toyed with the hem of his tshirt for a moment before raising it up over his head, her hands reaching to take off his boxers. He laid down beside her and pulled her onto his chest, their naked bodies melding together until they were almost one skin. The only way they could be close was if he was inside of her, but he didn't want that right now and he knew that was not what she needed. Their nakedness was symbolic to him: no barriers between them, no lies, and no secrets. They were in this together, wholeheartedly.
* * *
Olivia looked up at Fitz, watching the sun playing on his features. The gentle rays lighting up his strong chiseled jaw, long brown eyelashes, perfect nose and soft lips. One outstretched arm spanned the length of the pillow behind her and the other was wrapped securely around the middle of her back.
She ran her finger along his shoulder and kissed his firm skin. He was beautiful. So beautiful and so good to her in every way. She had lost so much and had had so much more taken from her, there was no way she was going to let him go willingly. It didn't matter how much fire and brimstone she would have to walk through to be with him, if he was willing to have her, she would fight for him.
She kissed his shoulder again, this time dragging her lips down his skin until she was running her tongue over his collarbone and her lips were moving to envelop his nipple. She could feel him stirring beneath her when she gripped his nipple lightly between her teeth and swirled her tongue over its tip. Immediately his hands were in her hair, gripping her desperately.
"Baby," he groaned as she moved her lips deftly to give the other nipple the same attention. She looked up at him, kissing the space between his pecs pointedly before continuing down his chest. Her tongue followed the light trail of wiry hair until she reached his pelvis. She teased him, peppering deliberate kisses around his base before taking him into her moist mouth.
"Good morning," she moaned onto his length as he groaned forcibly. He was muttering unintelligibly and rolling his eyes in the back of his head in pleasure, emboldened by this she began working her jaw gently to move him around in her mouth. He used his hands to help maneuver her at the pace that had him somewhere out in space when he felt the energy pooling in the tips of his toes and traveled up his body.
He tried to pull her away in anticipation of his climax but she continued moving her lips around his throbbing member, her tongue finding the most vulnerable places on his shaft.
"Baby, I'm coming," he mumbled helplessly as his orgasm released itself against his will. He looked down at her and instead of pulling away she was swallowing him whole, staring back at him mischievously.
She pulled away slowly, "I love you, Fitz, _all_ of you," she emphasized.
* * *
Later that afternoon, Fitz was in his study catching up on neglected emails that had built up over their honeymoon when Olivia stuck her head in the doorway.
"Hey babe, whatcha doing?" she smiled at him.
"There she goes," he grinned, "I was just thinking about you. How's your studying going?"
She shrugged, "Not bad I guess, boring though."
"Do you have a second? I wanted to ask you about something."
"Sure, what's up?" she asked curiously, crossing the room to him.
"Nothing crazy, there's just one thing we haven't really talked about."
"And what's that?"
"Finances. I just got an email from a friend of mine that I went to college with, his name is Tom. He also happens to be my financial advisor, he handles all of my investments and banking. While he's happy for us, he's a little miffed that I didn't give him a head's up since there will have to be a few changes. He's coming to town this weekend on business and he wants to meet with the both of us."
"Oh I see, well what exactly about?"
"Since we're married now, I should probably shift some things around so we can plan for the future. He thinks we should reevaluate our debts and such, talk about opening a joint account, go over some life insurance policies and finalize a will for me."
"A will? That's pretty morbid," she stated, caught off guard.
"I know, I said the same thing, but it's important. Tom says it's best I do it now because I want to make sure you're taken care of, just in case something ever happens to me."
"Don't talk like that, Fitz. But anyway if we're married wouldn't anything I have automatically go to you and vice versa?"
"I hope I live a long time baby, but you know don't my family, they're vultures. Even though we're estranged, they would probably fight you tooth and nail for every dime, claiming it's family money."
"Wow, really?" she asked, wide-eyed.
"Yeah, unfortunately. I would love to say my father is the only one, but my younger brother Teddy is a Gerry Junior, sadly. We were kind of close growing up, but my father has him completely brainwashed with the 'power-hungry, take-everything-you-can-get -your-hands-on' mentality. My sister Beth is pretty entitled, too. A lot less of a shark, but you never know. It's best to leave nothing to chance. Whatever I have is yours, and I just want to eliminate any possible disputes or stress."
She nodded, "When is the last time you've spoken to either of your siblings?"
Fitz paused for a moment, "Beth called me on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and we talked briefly. She's still trying to get me to come back to California and make up with Big Gerry. She means well, but she just doesn't get it. Teddy and I haven't spoken since I lost the election bid."
"Do you think I'll ever meet them?"
"If you're lucky, no," he chuckled. "But I mean, if you're up for the challenge we could take a trip to California someday. Beth is a bit nutty and vain, but she has a good heart. I'm sure she'd love to meet you. My father married her off to some big shot politician and they have two sons, really cute kids. It might be nice to go out there."
She smiled, "I'd love to Fitz."
"Awesome, we'll work it out, somehow. I absolutely have to take you to Napa Valley. You think you like red wine now? Just wait," he boasted.
She grinned, "Okay, we're definitely going. Is there anything I need to do before we meet with Tom, though?"
"He wants us to fill out some papers, some of which go into detail about your savings and investments, if you're okay sharing that."
"Of course it's okay. You're my husband, Fitz, there's nothing I won't share with you. If you trust him with your money, I trust him too. Hold on, I'll go get my stuff."
She was back in a flash, handing over to him a bag of bank statements and ledgers.
"I only have one checking and one savings account. My mom's life insurance policy went into the checking, which is what I've been using for living expenses and school. Then there's a savings account which a trust deposits money into incrementally until I'm twenty one."
He looked over the latest statement for March, "Wow Liv, what did your mom do for a living?"
He had vastly underestimated her finances, he thought as he looked over her accounts. She had over $167,000 in savings, $121,000 in checking and an unknown amount in a trust that she had yet to receive, which wasn't shoddy for her age.
"She did pretty much the same thing Huck and Harrison like to do, fix things, just on a grander scale. She owned a crisis management firm and worked her magic for people, making problems disappear."
"That's amazing, who handles this money for you?"
"A Rowan somebody or the other, he was the executor of her will. To be honest, I've never even met or spoken to him, I just get statements. I assume he and my aunt were in touch though, because he had to disperse the funds for my schooling and whatnot. When are we supposed to meet Tom?"
"Sunday night he says he has time for us."
"Okay, I'm meeting with Huck in the afternoon to get more details on Cyrus' extracurricular activities, but I'll come meet you guys straight from there."
* * *
It was shortly after six thirty when Tom and Fitz were seated in a private booth towards the back of the upscale restaurant. Olivia was to be arriving shortly, but tables were in high demand, even on a Sunday night, at the busy, business-friendly bistro.
"It's good seeing you, Fitz. I cannot believe you're married, _again_, man. It hasn't even been a full year since you've gotten divorced!" Tom ribbed.
"I know, I know, Tom. It wasn't planned, but sometimes life has a way of showing you what you need."
He laughed, "I'm giving you a hard time, but I'm happy for you. She sounds like a good woman, and you deserve happiness. In all seriousness, I'm glad to see you in love after Mellie, the way she tried to zap the life out of you was disheartening."
"Here she comes," was his only response as a smile took hold of his lips. She looked stunning in her crimson wool coat, nude slacks and her hair in angelic, bouncy curls. He stood as she approached their table and introduced the two.
If her age was any shock to Tom he was great at hiding it, and the three of them ordered and made small talk without any awkwardness. Soon Tom moved into the business zone and began detailing options for the financial planning of their future, outlining how they could best make their money work for them. He was giving them the rundown on the difference between the platinum and gold joint checking account when a voice appeared from above them, "Oh, wow, fancy meeting _you_ two here!"
They looked up to see none other than Amanda Tanner smiling sweetly from Tom's side of the table. Before anyone could respond she spoke again, "Just wanted to say hello, enjoy your dinner, toodles," she waved and took off, leaving them confused as to what just happened.
Fitz stood and motioned to Olivia, "Stay right here, I'll be right back."
He stalked after her, angry beyond words, "Amanda! Amanda, stop!"
She spun on her heels, "So _now_ we're on a first name basis?"
"This has to stop," he growled. "This will stop, and it stops today! Why are you following me and how did you know I would be here?"
She crossed her arms, "The better question would be what are you doing here, and with a _**student**_ no less? You must not care much for your job, Fitzgerald. You're getting quite sloppy," she added with a smirk.
He clenched his jaw, "What is really the problem here? I am truly baffled by this. Why is it that are you behaving like a scorned ex when there is not, nor has there ever been, anything between us. Leave us alone!" he demanded, emphatically waving his hands to convey his irritation.
He saw her eyes focus on his left hand, "You didn't...did you...you wouldn't! Did you marry her? Is that a fucking wedding band?!"
He sighed, "Yes, Amanda, we are married, Olivia and I. Do you get it now? Let this fantasy of 'us' go, it can never be."
"No," she stated sadly before repeating it again, more firmly, "_No_, it's not fair. Everyone else falls in love and gets married and gets to have their fantasy! _**Everyone**_! Even my sister who is four years younger than I am! We could have been _good_ together, Fitz. Don't you think I'm pretty? I'm smart, too. I'm a good person. Why not me?" she asked staring at him intently with eyes threatening to explode with tears.
"It just wasn't meant for us," he answered gently and her eyes immediately went to her feet. "You will find the man who loves and adores you, Amanda," he tried to reassure her before emphasizing, "but I am _not_ that man. When it's meant for you, it will come along." He softened, "I haven't exactly been kind to you, and I'm sorry if I've been harsh. I could have handled this differently, I admit that, but can we just forget about this whole thing? This seems like it's a big misunderstanding."
She looked up him, her frown turning into an eccentric smirk, "You wish. Either we both get our happily ever after, or nether of us do. I'll see you around," she replied nonchalantly, leaving him there confused.
* * *
Monday morning was here too soon and Fitz could hear the ringing of his phone. The irritating sound persisted in his sleep, intent on interrupting his dreams. He had ignored it the first go round, but when it stopped and began the silly jingle again, he fumbled along the nightstand for it with his free hand, his other hand occupied somewhere beneath Olivia.
He looked at the number on the screen and didn't recognize it, but registered that the area code was local, so he answered it thinking it might possibly be work related.
"Fitzgerald Grant," he greeted the caller, clearing the sleep out of his voice.
"Hello Mr. Grant, this is Gideon Wallace reporting from the Boston Sun. Do you have a moment?"
Fitz's ears perked up at that, "How can I help you today, Mr. Wallace?"
"I'm just calling to get your official comment on a tip I received this morning. Is it true that you, while acting in your official capacity as a professor and city councilman, began a sexual relationship with one of your students, who you recently married?"
"No comment," he choked out, caught off guard.
"I expected that. Okay, well if you change your mind about commenting, the story will be running first thing tomorrow morning, good bye."
"Fucking shit," he grumbled as he hung up the phone. "Livi, wake up babe."
She looked up at him with innocent eyes, "Hmm?"
"I just got a call from a reporter asking about our marriage. I think the Amanda Tanner bomb has finally exploded."
She sat up quickly, "Oh my god, what?!"
"Yeah, he asked for my comment and said the story is running tomorrow."
"What time is it now?"
He looked at his watch, "Ten to eight."
"Let's go, we have to go see Cyrus, ASAP."
"Do you think it'll work?"
"It's now or never to play the James card. If we can squeeze him enough to think his reputation is on the line as well and that our fates are tied together, he'll move hell and high water to get this to go over smoothly. He has the President's ear, it'll make a difference. It's our only real option at this point."
* * *
Cyrus was at his desk reading the paper when they walked in, "Well if it isn't Helen and Paris," he mocked them, "to what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Well good morning to you too, Cyrus," Fitz spoke up, "How are you?"
"I'd be far better if I knew you two were coming to tell me you handled this sordid affair respectably, but from the looks of things," he glanced down at their intertwined hands, "it doesn't seem like that's in the cards. So what can I do for you two?"
"We need your help, Cyrus," Fitz started as he sat down, "I got a call from a reporter this morning and The Boston Sun is planning on running a story about me and Liv tomorrow."
"I told you this is a sinking ship, and it stinks of professional misconduct. What exactly would you like for me to do?"
Olivia piped into the conversation, "Talk to the President for us. You two are good friends, he'll listen to you if you tell him to go easy on Fitz and vouch for him. Soften the blow and then have us meet with him."
He turned to her, "Since you seem to have all the answers, young lady, pray tell, why would I do that? It's messy and the last thing I need to do is involve myself in your bullshit when I'm on the president's good side and up for a promotion. So why would I, hmm?"
"James Novak," she countered quickly, her voice dripping with insinuation.
Cyrus' face turned a sickening shade of white, "Excuse me?"
"James Novak, you know, 610-555-2143? The number you call every third Thursday night of the month around nine pm without fail. It's also funny how when he answers on that particular nightl both of your phones' signals are tapping into the same towers, just feet from downtown Hilton. Coincidence?"
Fitz sat there mesmerized by her savvy and control of the conversation. He watched as Cyrus squirmed uncomfortably, clearly feeling some guilt under the pressure of Olivia's verbal assault.
"How _**dare**_ you-"
"You probably also should not have saved those photos on your phone, Cyrus. The ones from the fifth and twenty-third of January? I'm sure you know exactly which ones I'm talking about," she offered coyly.
He clawed at his tie, it all of sudden becoming breathtakingly tight. "This isnt right and it's _**not**_ the same thing," he snarled. "James and I are both fully grown adults and I am not his direct superior."
"But you are married, aren't you?" she asked innocently, as if she didn't already know the answer. "Does Carol, your wife, know? Do your your daughters, Patricia and Alexandra, know? Coming out on the tail end of me and Fitz's unceremonious marriage announcement, this will definitely make a splash in the news. People are really going to begin to wonder what's going on in the administration of the law department at Harvard. Then they might start to question if Cyrus Beene is truly the right leadership for this prestigious school. This is not just some no same school in some no name town, you know. Do you really want to be placed under that type of scrutiny, Cyrus?" she asked earnestly, her large doe eyes beckoning him to answer.
He glared at her, clearly beaten at his own game, "What do you want me to do?"
"Talk to the President and help us contain Amanda Tanner. We'll handle the rest," she answered sharply.
"Done. I'll call you and let you know when it's all set up. Now get out of here, both of you."
* * *
Olivia and Fitz rose from their seats and as soon as they were in the corridor he had her hand back in his, leading her down the hallway towards his office. As soon as the door was closed he had her pressed up against it.
"What in the world was that?" he asked, clicking the lock into place behind her.
"I don't know," she smiled shyly," I just went for it."
He kissed her softly and her tongue quickly came out to greet his lips. She splayed her hands across his chest to keep steady as he gazed down at her, "You were _amazing_ in there."
He moaned softly as she grabbed him and kissed him like she needed him right then and there. He ground himself into her, pinning her between the hard door and his harder erection. Olivia ran her hands down his chest until she was gripping his stiff member. She slowly flexed her fingers down his length over his slacks, stroking him at a slow deliberate pace to match the intensity of their tongues.
"Baby, we can't," he moaned, the awareness that they were in his office, on Monday morning no less, somewhere vaguely in his consciousness.
When she removed her hand and withdrew from his kiss it felt like someone had doused him with cold water. He stood up straight and led her over to his desk, sitting himself in the large leather chair and pulling her into his lap so she could lay across him. She propped her legs up over the arm rest cradled her head against his arm. She felt perfect there. He knew he should be anxious in light of this upcoming meeting, but his mind was completely occupied with the feeling of Olivia against him.
"Baby, what do you think we should say?" she wondered aloud.
"I don't know. Maybe we should just keep it simple, tell him the truth. We're in love and we're married and I'm not going to let it interfere with my work. I mean, I've somehow managed to keep my eyes and lips off of you every Tuesday and Thursday during class so far, that has to count for something, right?" he smiled at her.
She giggled and muttered, "Right," before leaning up to kiss him softly. She only meant for it to be an affectionate peck but before she could pull back his teeth were nibbling her bottom lip. His hands were making a path up her hips to her blouse as he began unsnapping the buttons to expose her cranberry hued bra. He kissed down the side of her neck, running his tongue over every inch until he reached the valley between her breasts.
"Baby, no," she moaned as he unhooked her bra, lowering it to expose her to his hungry eyes. He looked up at her defiantly before taking her left nipple in his mouth. She gasped and he moved a finger to her lips to silence her moans and she sucked at it greedily. He was moving to take her other breast in his mouth when he heard a knock at the door and they both froze.
* * *
A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Do you think Fitz went too hard on Olivia for her disappearing act? What do you think will happen now that Amanda has leaked their info? I'm curious what people think of Olivia's character development? Olitz is facing the music! Let me know what u think!
19. Resolutions
**A/N: This one is kinda long because things are about to change and I didn't want to leave anything out. I just wanted to also say _THANK YOU_, seriously, to everyone who has read/reviewed/followed/favorited. I've never, ever shared my writing, but I really enjoy doing it, so the feedback is really awesome and new for me. Hope you enjoy.**
* * *
"Baby, what do you think we should say?" she wondered aloud.
"I don't know. Maybe we should just keep it simple, tell him the truth. We're in love and we're married and I'm not going to let it interfere with my work. I mean, I've somehow managed to keep my eyes and lips off of you every Tuesday and Thursday during class so far, that has to count for something, right?" he smiled at her.
She giggled and muttered, "Right," before leaning up to kiss him softly. She only meant for it to be an affectionate peck but before she could pull back his teeth were nibbling her bottom lip. His hands were making a path up her hips to her blouse as he began unsnapping the buttons to expose her cranberry hued bra. He kissed down the side of her neck, running his tongue over every inch until he reached the valley between her breasts.
"Baby, no," she moaned as he unhooked her bra, lowering it to expose her to his hungry eyes. He looked up at her defiantly before taking her left nipple in his mouth. She gasped and he moved a finger to her lips to silence her moans and she sucked at it greedily. He moved to take her other breast in his mouth when he heard a knock at the door and they both froze.
Fitz felt her body tense in his arms and when he looked up he could see the alarm in her eyes. He clutched her arm, willing her not to move.
"Who is it?" he asked in the most nonchalant tone he could muster.
"Hey Fitz, it's Mark, I wanted to run something by you quick," he called back through the door and Fitz immediately felt a sense of relief.
"Oh, okay, sure but I'm busy right now. Can I come get you in a few?"
"Sure, I'll be in my office until lunch."
When Fitz heard Mark's footsteps carrying him away from the door in the opposite direction, he leaned back down to pick up where he left off.
"Fitz, _no_, don't. Seriously," she scolded him, her tone serious all of a sudden. Moments ago he was dangerously close to taking her in his office, but the unplanned interruption had shocked her out of her haze.
He gave her a crooked smile, "I'm sorry sweetheart, I got carried away."
"I did too," she replied fixing her bra and blouse, "but right now is probably not the right time, and it's definitely not the right place. I'm going to go."
He looked confused, "Where are you going?"
"I don't know, library probably. It's definitely not a good idea to stick around your office, though. I need to think about what I'm going to say and you should too."
"I'm just going to wing it," he stated simply, as if they were heading into an ordinary meeting that didn't have potentially ruinous ramifications.
"Fitz, this is serious, you _cannot_ just wing it."
"It's not like a test, Olivia, you can't study to talk to someone. He's going to ask questions and I'm going to answer those questions honestly. We don't even know what he's going to say or ask yet."
"Exactly, that's why I'm going to go think about it and run over the different possibilities. I don't want to be caught off guard."
"I just don't want to sound rehearsed or contrived, that's all. I guess we just process things differently, but I get it." He caressed her face, "You should go think for awhile and I'll call you when I hear from Cyrus, okay?"
"Okay," she replied staring at him like she wanted to say something but was stopping herself.
"What?" he grinned at her, willing her to speak.
"Nothing, it's just..." she looked away, "you know I would support you if-"
"Olivia, stop it," his tone changed and the smile instantly vanished from his face. "Do **_not_** go there."
"What? I'm just saying-"
"I know exactly what you were going to 'just say,' and I don't want you to say it. Quit doing that, trying to give me an out. It's insulting." He cupped her face, "I know exactly what I want, Olivia, do you?"
"Yes."
"What do you want, Livi?" he gazed at her intently, searching her eyes.
"I want you," she answered honestly and without hesitation.
"Well, I'm yours and you don't have to make any apologies for it, no matter _**what**_ happens today. We're married and fuck whoever has a problem with it," he finished resolutely.
She burst out laughing at his choice of words and ran her finger along his jaw,"Why are you so amazing?"
"Because I have you by my side," he countered seriously.
She smiled at him softly before speaking, "I should go," saying the words but not moving to get up.
"Okay," he complied, but didn't move to let her up.
They stared at each for a few more silent moments before she spoke the words they were both think, "One minute?"
"One minute," he smiled.
* * *
Olivia was sitting in front of the computer but not using it, her mind running a million miles per hour. She was obsessively going over the various ways the impending meeting could go wrong and she was beyond nervous. Fitz seemed to be taking it all in stride, but it was in her nature to worry. She was trying to harness positive thoughts when she swore she heard someone calling her name. She figured she must have been hearing things until it resounded in her consciouness again. When she turned around in her seat she was extremely displeased with the sight before her.
_Not now, ugh, why me?_ she thought to herself.
"Olivia? What's up? What are you doing here?" the voice questioned jovially as if there was not massive hostility brewing and bubbling over when they had last seen each other.
She just glared at her and refused to speak, sure that her eyes were conveying her utter disdain.
"How are you? Long time no see!" she tried again, refusing to be ignored.
"Can I help you with something, Abby?" she asked without any attempt to hide her anger.
"Look, I know I don't have the right to ask-"
"Then _**don't**_," Olivia snarled turning back to the computer.
"But please, I just want two minutes of your time-"
"I thought it was pretty clear the last time I saw you that we are not friends, and nowhere near _close_ to being on speaking terms."
"I know that, seriously, and it haunts me everyday, Olivia. But I'm truly sorry and I want you to know that I'm working on myself. I was hoping you might find it in your heart to forgive me."
"Why? What's changed all of a sudden?"
"I realized that I was wrong, so super wrong about Edison...and a lot of other things, too. I threw you under the bus in order to be with him, but he isn't who I hoped he was. I was in a bad place and I was a major bitch, but I'm going to therapy now, Liv. I'm getting help for my issues."
"Well that's good for you, Abby, and I mean that in all seriousness, but that doesn't mean I have to be your friend or even forgive you. You said some really hurtful things and at this juncture in the road, I'm not even sure if whatever semblance of a friendship we had in the past is worth trying to salvage."
Abby nodded somberly, "I know it will take time and I'm not demanding your forgiveness, it's yours to give to me _if_ and when you feel ready. I know I said and did some majorly fucked up shit that crossed the line. I don't even know if I would forgive me if the tables were turned, but at the very least I owe you an apology. I was just so unhappy with myself and jealous of you, I wasn't thinking rationally, whatsoever."
"Jealous? Of _me_? Abby, I've never had anything for you to be jealous of...you have everything I have, plus more. I may not have been the best friend or roommate, but I was always kind to you and I don't think I gave you a reason to be so hateful towards me."
"I see that now and believe me, I know my issues with you had more to do with myself than you. I projected my insecurities onto you and it was eating away at me. I just always perceived you as being so calm, and cool, and pretty and collected, you seem to have it all together and not need anyone else's approval. You don't care what other people think about you and no matter how hard I tried, I could never emulate that. I've always craved other people's approval, including yours, but I felt like you wouldn't give it to me. I shared things with you in hopes that you would open up, but you never would tell me much about your life and you rarely ever wanted to hang out, so I thought you felt you were too good for me. Especially when you would go hang at the frat house freshman year and never really invited me. I'm not blaming you, or making excuses for what I did, I'm just trying to explain my twisted reasoning."
Olivia was truly taken aback, "I'm sorry for that, it was...thoughtless of me. I just figured you had your own stuff going on. You seemed to have a pretty full social life so I didn't even think to ask you. Unfortunately, friendship is not my strong suit."
"And I did, which is the craziest part. I had so much going on, but in my own mind I felt entitled to your friendship and it pissed me off that you didn't seem interested in me."
"Abby...I honestly don't even know what to say. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. To be honest, it's only recently, very recently, that I learned how to open up to someone and be vulnerable without being afraid of being ridiculed or abandoned. I didn't tell you things about my family and life because I didn't feel there was much to tell, much good anyway. Your family seems so happy and loving that my past was embarrassing in contrast. Sometimes I think my life reads like a Shakespearian tragedy so I keep it tucked away from everyone so they won't throw me a pity party or use it against me. It's just easier for me that way. That's probably why I don't have many friends now as it is. It had nothing to do with you, personally."
"That makes sense. And the person I was before, it probably was for the best that you kept me at arm's length. I don't want there to be animosity between us, I'm serious about becoming a better me. I know it won't happen overnight, but I would be honored if you gave me a chance to earn your friendship and forgiveness."
"I never thought this would happen, but I think we can work something out. I know what it's like to have your doubts and fears eat at you. It will take time and we should take it slow, _really_ slow, but I'm open to the possibility. I really hope you won't make me regret this, Abby."
"I _**swear**_ you won't! Thanks, Liv! You're right, we should take it slow, but I guess that means you won't be moving back into our apartment, huh?"
"Nope," she chuckled, "not gonna happen. How about for the time being when we hang out, we'll pick someplace neutral?" she offered as a compromise.
Abby smiled widely at that. "Shake on it?" she asked offering her right hand to her, "To a new day and a new friendship?"
"Sure", Olivia smiled and extended her left hand.
"Whoa, what is that?! Are you engaged?!"
"Married," she corrected her with a blinding smile.
"_**OHMYGOD**_! Congratulations! Since when?!"
"Not even two whole weeks yet,"Olivia giggled girlishly.
"Ohhh, let me guess, guy in the black car?"
"Yep, that's the one."
"Well I'm super duper happy for you! He liked it so he put a ring on it," she joked. "Who is he? Do I know him?"
She paused, unsure for a moment if she should trust her.
_It's going to come out tomorrow either way, Olivia,_ she thought to herself. _Might as well get used to the questions._ "Umm probably not, he's a little older than us. His name is Fitz," she beamed.
"Oh-my-god this is just so crazy, well, come on, tell me all about him!"
Just then her phone vibrated and she noticed the time. "Shit," she mumbled.
"Something wrong?"
"Nothing, I just have to be someplace in like ten minutes and I lost track of time. It's not far, but I wanted to get there a little early. I have to run, Abby, but we'll definitely catch up later."
* * *
Olivia sped over to the building that housed the President's office as quickly as she could without tripping over herself. It was only a couple of minutes away, but the office was located on the twelfth floor and she couldn't chance the elevator making her late. Luckily, it was loitering on the first floor when she entered the building.
When she exited the elevator on twelve, she found Cyrus and Fitz sitting across from one another in the corridor outside of the office and Fitz stood as she walked over to him.
"Hey guys," she greeted them, eyeing Cyrus quickly before shifting her focus completely to Fitz. "What's going on?"
Cyrus spoke instead, "He wants to speak with Fitz first, _alone_."
"Oh," she replied, unsure if she should be relieved or more worried. "Is that alright with you?" she asked Fitz warily.
He embraced her, "It'll be fine, Livi. I'm just going to speak from the heart. I'm sure everything will work out."
Just then the secretary came out to inform Fitz that the President was ready to see him. He kissed her tenderly and gave her a reassuring smile before following the woman.
"Don't worry," he mouthed before leaving her with her thoughts. She touched her lips as she watched him walk down the hall, savoring the last moment of tranquility as she knew when he came out of that door, things would be drastically different.
When his figured disappeared around the bend Olivia flopped into the navy blue seat that he left unoccupied and pulled her textbook out of her bag with a sigh. As she was turning the pages, she could feel Cyrus' glare on her as if he were wishing she would spontaneously combust. She tried to ignore him but the weight of his piercing gaze was practically crushing her.
"_**What**_?!" she huffed, finally giving him the attention he was looking for as she slammed the book onto her lap.
He scowled at her with disdain, "I hope you're happy."
"I am, very much so, actually," she replied with sarcastic sweetness in her voice, "was that all?"
He turned the shade of red that was quickly becoming his signature color, "I thought I got through to you, Olivia. You don't know what you're doing, you haven't thought about this-"
"See, _that's_ where you're wrong, I _have_ thought about it and I didn't take this decision lightly. I made what I feel is the best choice for me and Fitz is making what he feels is the best choice for him, it's that simple."
"It is **_not_** that simple!" he snarled. "If you cared for him as much as you _say_ you do and were half as smart as you _think_ you are, you would have chose differently and spared him having to do **this**!"
"Cyrus, what don't you understand? Fitz is a grown man and he's smart enough to know what he wants. He asked _**me**_ to marry **_him_**, not the other way around. I am not holding him hostage."
He threw his hands in the air, "You just don't get it."
She rolled her eyes and picked her book back up."Kiss my ass," she muttered under her breath.
"Excuse me?" he growled.
"Kiss my ass, _Cyrus_. You don't know me and you don't know Fitz, so quit acting like you care about our well being so much it keeps you awake at night. You're _really_ mad because we're throwing a hitch in whatever plan it is you have for your professional future and that's about it. You were not trying to help me last week, you were trying to break me. I'm over it and I'm over you. You know, I used to look up to you, but I see who you really are now and I don't like what I see. For as much academic and professional success as you have, you're miserable and you're angry with us because you don't have the testicular fortitude to live your life the way you want to live it. If _you_ want to live a lie that's fine, but there's not enough room in the closet for the both of us. I'm going to be with the man I love, and I don't care what you or anyone else has to say about it. _Now_, do _you_ get it?"
He stared at her in disbelief, "Where was all this fire the other day?"
"You caught me off guard before. I thought we were on the same team, but it doesn't really matter now. You're not going to change my mind about this."
He nodded his head silently and sat back in his chair, "However you feel about what I said to you, I was doing what I thought was best. You may not agree with it, but there is a method to my madness. At any rate, we _**are**_ on the same team now, so it does you no good to hate me. You're right, I don't know you, but what I do know of you, I like. You're sharp, Olivia, and you have a bright future ahead of you. I'm still your professor and I promise I make a better ally than I do enemy."
She smirked, "Not the apologizing type, huh?"
"Never."
She smiled, "We're cool. Just don't try that bullshit again."
He huffed, "Yeah well, we see how that went. You definitely pulled my card. How did you find that out, anyway?"
She shrugged, "I'll show you my hand when you show me yours."
He grinned, "Smart girl."
"Woman," she corrected him, "smart woman. Now what is the plan for Amanda Tanner?"
* * *
"Thanks for coming to see me, Fitzgerald. Please, have a seat," he motioned to the chair in front of the desk.
"Thank you for agreeing to see me, Mr. President."
"Oh cut the formalities, we're both men here, you can call me Eric. It's not like I'm the real president or something. Can I get you a drink?" he asked as pulled out a crystal decanter filled with what appeared to be scotch and two glasses. He filled the two glasses and handed one to Fitz.
"Um, thanks," Fitz replied, faking a sip before setting it down beside him.
"So," Eric sat back in his seat and peered at him, "I hear you're a Berkeley man, is that right?"
Fitz smiled, "Yes, sir. All the men on my father's side are Berkeley men, so there was really no other choice for me."
He nodded in approval, "Excellent. My father was a Berkeley man so I have a lot of respect for the school. He wanted me to be a Harvard man, though, so here I am. So, Fitz, may I call you Fitz?"
"Of course."
"You went to Berkeley, and Cy tells me you're a Navy man as well. This sounds like the makings of a smart man, a man of the highest moral fiber. So what are these rumblings I hear about you and a student being involved in _extracurriculars_?"
He cleared his throat, "Sir, it is true that I am seriously involved with a woman who also happens to be a student here. We, um, actually got married last week."
"I heard."
"You know all day I've been thinking of what I should say, or could say, to make things sound better, but the honest truth is, it's just as bad as it sounds. Professionally speaking, I made a mistake and crossed a line that I should never have crossed. Personally speaking though, it was the best mistake I could have ever made and I wouldn't change it for the world. I've found the love of my life here at Harvard and we are planning to spend the rest our lives together. This is not the case of just some extracurricular fling or me taking advantage of a young, impressionable girl. Believe me, I _tried_ to fight it, I _did_ fight it for a long time, and I lost. I love Harvard and working here has been the best professional experience of my life, but as much as it pains me to say it, I would gladly resign if it came down to a choice between my marriage or my job."
The President nodded wordlessly and sipped his scotch, "Are her parents donors?"
Fitz paused for a moment, unsure where the conversation was headed, "They're no longer with us, sir."
Eric sighed, "Hmmm. Well, Fitz, I like you. You seem like a respectable guy and Cy vouched for you pretty enthusiastically. He says we can't afford to lose a resource like you and I'm inclined to believe him, especially since I'm handing him the reins in a few months when spring semester is finished. Honestly, I don't give a damn who anyone is screwing as long as things are running smoothly, and to be quite honest with you, neither does the board of trustees. However there are people out there who will, so we have to at least _pretend_ to care. The only things the board really cares about are the endowment and reputation of the school as number one in the country, which undoubtedly could be affected in light of a scandal."
"I understand that."
"After I spoke with Cyrus earlier, I called in a couple of my closest advisors from the board and we weighed the pros and cons of the situation. They also believe you can be an invaluable asset to Harvard, Fitz, and are more than willing to stand behind you."
"Wow, _seriously_? I can't believe it. You don't know how much it means to me. Harvard is an amazing institution and I want nothing more than to contribute to it in a positive and meaningful way. In _**no**_ way do I intend for my personal relationship to get in the way of my job here, and I will work double overtime to prove that you made the right decision."
Eric smiled knowingly, "I was hoping you would say that, because as we're both painfully aware, nothing in life comes for free, Fitz. Part of the reason why the board is so apt to help you is due to your imminent prominence in city hall."
"Prominence? I'm a speech writer and councilman, that's hardly prominent."
"But you're going to be the mayor's head of speech and communications, isn't that right?"
"Yes, beginning this week, actually."
"Exactly. That means you're going to be working rather closely with Mayor Reston and he's going to look to you for advice. Half the time Reston doesn't know which way is west. He's very open to guidance, a little _too_ open if we're being completely honest. He's going to lean on you, and that, combined with your role as a councilman, well, that means power. The board is more than willing to throw their weight behind you, but they need to know that you'll keep some of Harvard's interests in mind when you're down in city hall, you know, _guiding_ the mayor. However informally that may be. To act as a sphere of influence, if you will."
"What exactly does that entail? And regarding what 'interests' exactly?"
He clasped his hands and rested his head on top of them, "Fitz, do you know who you're replacing?"
"Billy Chambers? Only in passing."
"Do you know why you're replacing him?"
"Actually, no I don't...Everything has been happening so quickly I didn't even think to ask why he was being replaced."
The President ground his teeth in irritation before speaking again, "Billy Chambers is an enigma to most people, but _**I**_ see the cocksucker for what he is. Excuse my language, but he's a greedy bastard with no substance. If it wasn't for the Chambers family name and his pretty boy face he would be pumping gas somewhere. Fortunately for him and unfortunately for us, he hit the genetic lottery, so here we are. The reason he is being replaced is because he was found to be lining his own pockets under the guise of urban development and jobs creation. He is business partners with Don McKinney, a wealthy developer who has his hand in the urban renewal pot of pretty much every major city across the nation. His company is infamous for bribing city officials in order to declare lots and sometimes entire blocks as blighted so they can get can get public works funds to pay their private construction company to rebuild the area on contract to the city. All the while making a huge profit by also selling the materials to the city through shell companies. If bribery doesn't work, they have their independent contractors buy up tracts of cheap properties that span for blocks, and then letting it all fall into decay so the city will have no choice but to declare it blighted. Then guess who swoops in to pick up the free tax money?"
"McKinney."
"Exactly. It recently came out in certain circles that Billy has a huge amount of shares in the company, a silent partner if you will, so he's very personally invested in their success. He has been advising the mayor to back referendums and initiatives which further the agenda of their corporation, TYNE Inc., in Boston. Someone did their research and found the connection, it was leaked to the mayor, and boom, here we are."
"This is crazy," Fitz balked, "isn't that illegal?"
"Very. But when you come from a blue blood family that has influence up the political ladder all the way up to the Justice Department, as does Billy, people are willing to turn a blind eye. I'm willing to bet he is holding a few cards that if played correctly, could bring down a lot of prominent people, so being demoted and silently ostracized is supposed to be punishment enough."
"Wow, that's disgusting, but unfortunately I know all too how the pay for play goes. My dad has been in politics my whole life."
"Your dad? Not California's own Gerry Grant?"
"The one and only."
"You're shitting me, excuse my French. Well this just keeps getting better. So now I'm sure you're familiar with the shady pay for play of politics."
"Ha, most definitely, and I hope I'm not being dense, but what does Billy's indiscretions have to do with me and Harvard?"
"Well there's one particular initiative he's been pushing for which is coming to a vote in a few weeks. About three years ago, Harvard purchased a parcel of property designated for off campus housing. Due to bureaucratic issues, the land hasn't been leveled and cleared yet and it's quite a mess. Our commercial permit expired last year and somehow the matter got overlooked. I'll admit it, we dropped the ball on this end. But before we could even refile the paperwork of course TYNE had their people there attempting to have it declared blighted, petitioning the city to turn over the property to them for 'urban redevelopment.' Chambers doesn't have enough sense to be ashamed of his antics and is continuing to push the issue, even after his unceremonious removal. Fitz, we need you to go head to head against them on the floor for us. Persuade the mayor and city council that Harvard's plan for the space is what's best and we can consider ourselves even."
"Wow, this a _lot_, Eric. I'm not even sure what to say."
"Say you'll do it. Say you're committed to helping secure Harvard's position on the national stage as the most prestigious university in America. Fitz, that space is crucial to our expansion as part of our five year plan. Our reputation and endowment may take a hit from this scandal, but with your help, we'll bounce back and stronger than ever. Are you with us, Fitz? Are you comitted to Harvard?"
"I am, but...what if I can't get it to pass the vote?"
Eric smiled, "Fitz, as the upcoming lead professor of a class entitled 'Persuasion and Politics,' we fully intend for you to succeed. We wouldn't ask or invest in you if we didn't think you could. We believe in you, Fitz, the question is, do _you_ believe in you?"
"I do."
"So then, what do you say?"
"I'm in," he agreed.
"Great, why don't you go bring Olivia in so we can go over the plan of action for tomorrow."
* * *
When Fitz came out of the office, Cyrus and Olivia were sitting beside one another speaking in hushed voices.
"What are you two plotting?" he asked playfully.
Olivia immediately rose to greet him and he met her halfway to take her in his arms, "I need you to come in there with me."
"Okay, how's it going so far?"
"It's looking good. We've come to an agreement and it looks they're going to support us and I can keep my job."
"Seriously? You're _kidding_ me?!" she asked incredulously.
"Nope. It does, however, come with some strings, but we'll talk about that later."
She gave him an uncertain look but he reassured her, "It's nothing I can't handle, come on," he insisted, leading her the way he came down the corridor by the hand.
She took a deep breath as they crossed the threshold to the President's office.
"Olivia," he beamed as if she was an old friend, "how nice to finally meet you!"
She smiled offering her hand, "Nice to meet you too, Mr. President."
He kissed her hand instead of shaking it, "Oh god with the Mr. President business, Eric is just fine. Have a seat, won't you?"
She seated herself, "Thank you, Eric."
"Now, let's get down to business. I'm sure Fitz told you we've come to somewhat of an understanding?"
"Yes," she looked at Fitz hesitantly.
"Come tomorrow's whirlwind, Harvard, our leadership and trustees, will stand steadfastly behind you two. In an attempt to take some of the sting out of The Sun's little exposé, I'm going to give Mr. Wallace a call and make an official statement of support. I will inform him that we as an institution take no issue with this union, and that as a guest lecturer and advisor to the course, Fitz has broken no professional or ethical codes. Of course that's a little fudge of the truth, a loophole if you will, but it is what it is. We are hopeful that the declaration, especially since it's coming straight from the horse's mouth, will mitigate the damage. Nevertheless, there will have to be _one_ major, unavoidable change."
Fitz spokeup, "Such as?"
"Well, no matter how you slice it, it's unethical to have a husband in the advisory role of a course where his wife is a student. Unfortunately, Fitzgerald, we're going to have to ask that you remove yourself from the teaching role in the course until September, when you'll be taking over for Cyrus. It'll be a paid leave of course, and it's nothing against you. Just think of it as a preemptive move to placate the moral police before they're at the gates with the pitchforks. It'll also give you a little more time to focus on your new, expanded role down at city hall and the project we were just discussing which will be coming to a head in the next several weeks."
"I completely understand sir, I think it's a good idea as well," Fitz agreed.
"Great, well unless there are any questions, I thank you two for coming and wish you nothing but matrimonial bliss."
* * *
They stood side by side waiting for the elevator to arrive, both still processing the meeting that had ended just moments ago.
"So, what are you doing now?" Fitz inquired.
"I have a group meeting in a little bit so I was thinking of heading back to the library until it's time."
"I'll walk you over," he grinned, grabbing her hand as the elevator dinged to announce it's arrival.
The sun was high in the sky, reflecting his hopefulness, and he gave her hand a little squeeze as they began making their first public journey across campus together. They didn't speak as they made their way to the library, but she could feel the smile on his face and was sure he could feel hers as well. Although no one really seemed to be paying them any mind, it felt like the whole world was watching and judging, but even still it was the most free she had ever felt, knowing that they didn't have to hide anymore.
As they neared the library, he stopped across from the entrance and sat in one of long patio chairs which overlooked the green. Before he could even think it, she was on his lap and his face was nuzzling her neck, savoring her scent.
"Baby?" he whispered.
"Yes?"
"I think I got off easy, what do you think?"
"It wasn't as bad as I expected, I kinda am in disbelief, it just seems _too_ easy. I just wish you didn't have to take off the rest of the semester, I'm going to miss you in class."
He sighed, "Me too, I really love that class. But hey, it's a small price to pay," he conceded, kissing her neck. "Very, very, small," he said punctuating each word with a kiss. "At least they asked me to come back next year, and this time I'll be lead instructor. It's probably for the best anyways."
She nodded, "Fitz, what project was he talking about?"
"Yeah, that's what I wanted to tell to you about. So apparently there's some property that Harvard purchased years ago in jeopardy of being turned over to the city. It goes up for vote in a few weeks and the board of trustees wants me to persuade the mayor and city council not to vote against Harvard, but there are some heavy hitters majorly invested in seeing it go the other way."
"Hmm, how do you feel about it?"
"It sounds pretty cut and dry, but I don't know. The people who want the property have deep pockets and influential connections. I'm not sure if, realistically, I have enough power or influence to change the vote this late in the game."
She eyed him carefully, "Do you want to do it?"
"I do, because it's a good cause, especially as opposed to the alternative. Harvard technically already owns the property and the corporation looking to scoop it up is just out to make a profit, they don't really even care about the land. It's kind of a no brainer because the avarice at play just boggles my mind. After the bad publicity we're likely to cause the institution come tomorrow morning, I feel bound to them for looking out for us."
"Babe, I don't want you to feel forced into doing something you're uncomfortable with. If you don't believe in the cause or if you think it's a bad idea, don't get involved."
"But I want to, I do believe in it."
"Then I _know_ you can make it happen, there's zero doubt about it in my mind. You're brilliant and eloquent, and when you speak people take notice and listen." She placed her hand on his chest, "Don't doubt yourself. After all those speeches you gave us in class, I'm pretty sure you could convince anyone to do _anything_."
Just then she heard voices and laughter behind where they were seated, she peered around the chair and saw students walking into the library.
"Oh snap, Fitz, those are my group mates, I should really get going."
He looked at his watch, "I should, too. I'm conducting interviews for my assistant this afternoon."
"Wow, you get an assistant? Look at you, Mr. Big Shot!"
He tickled her and kissed her lightly, "I love you, Livi."
"I love you too, sweetheart, but I really should go."
"Okay," he conceded and let her up. She squeezed his hand before bolting off towards the entrance.
"Livi?" he called out after her.
"Huh?"
"You forgot something."
She hurried back to him with furrowed brows, the confusion written on her face as she looked around, "What did I forget?"
Fitz pulled her into his arms and brought his lips down on hers forcefully, unwilling to let their first day of true freedom go by without taking full advantage of their new breathing room.
Olivia could feel her feet dangling inches off of the ground as he lifted her up against him. She joined her hands behind his neck to match his passion, not caring for the moment about the passersby or her waiting classmates, and it finally all felt real.
* * *
The next morning when Olivia woke up Fitz was smiling down at her, watching her sleep.
"You are _such_ a creep," she murmured jokingly, smiling in spite of her words.
"Oh _please_," he grinned while stroking her ear, "you love it."
"I do," she admitted.
He kissed her with a smirk, "I knew it. Do you have work to do before class?"
"Nothing I can't do later, why?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to come down to city hall with me for a little bit? Check out my new office?"
"I would love to," she beamed at the unexpected invitation. It was surreal that they no longer had to pretend that they weren't together, but she was quickly coming to love it. Olivia had already decided that she would not bother reading the article about them for now, she would just go with the flow and hope it flew under most people's radar. She was resolved to try to enjoy her current happiness and do away with unnecessary worrying.
They showered together and enjoyed a quick breakfast before heading to his office. As they pulled into the large brick plaza, Olivia looked up at the building with renewed interest. She had passed it many times, but never dreamed that she would have a reason to go inside and see its inner workings.
The architecture of the large edifice was in stark contrast to the relatively conservative buildings which stood beside it. The sleek curtain windows and cantilevered geometric forms gave the building a distinct and looming presence, and she was almost nervous to go inside.
The twosome made their way through the stringent security to his office on the third floor. The inside of the building was cavernous and impressive, and she tried to absorb all the details as they traveled through the building which was already bustling with activity at eight-thirty.
He slowed when they reached an area where there was a small, and as of yet unoccupied desk in front of a door which boldly read **_Fitzgerald T. Grant III_**. When he opened the door, she was impressed by the understated opulence of the spacious room. The large oaken desk gleamed in the light of the airy window, and each piece of accompanying furniture was strategic, functional and aesthetically pleasing. Olivia was immediately drawn to the window which had an astounding view of the city.
"This is amazing, Fitz," she almost whispered as she gazed at the scenery through the glass.
"I like it, too." He responded coming up behind her. He turned her to face him so that he could see her, "I'm so happy that I can share this moment with you."
She gave him a smile that swelled his heart, "There's no place else I'd rather be and no one I'd rather be with. You don't know how proud I am of you. No one deserves it more."
She kissed him gently before sliding out from the space between him and the window and taking a seat in his oversized leather chair.
She noticed a few papers on top of the otherwise empty desk, "What's this? Hard at work on a speech already?"
"Not yet, those are actually the resumes from the top three candidates I interviewed yesterday. All three really impressed me so I'm not sure who to choose. Maybe you could glance at them really quick? Tell me who stands out to you?"
"Sure," she smiled widely, happy to be of help.
As she looked over the qualifications of each candidate, she noted that one was a woman and the other two were men. Her first instinct was to find a reason to eliminate the woman automatically, feeling a bit territorial of having someone work so closely with Fitz, especially in light of the Amanda Tanner fiasco. She knew it was irrational though, and made a point to suppress the green eyed monster. As she looked over their experiences her gut immediately got a good feeling about the third resume.
"I really like this one, Fitz, 'Quinn Perkins'? Her internship experiences are golden, her GPA was stellar and she stayed at both of her previous positions for over a year, so that shows she's reliable. I would go with her."
He kissed her forehead, "You're the best, I was leaning towards her, too. I'm going to give her a call right now to see how soon she can start."
* * *
Fitz was intently focused on editing the final draft of a short oration for a fundraising banquet the Mayor was due to attend the following night when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and it was a text from Olivia:
**I swear always get grouped with nincompoops for class projects :-( my group wants to meet after class so I'm probably gonna be on campus kind of late, you don't have to wait for me for dinner.**
He laughed at her word choice and quickly typed out a response:
**Ok baby, don't pop a vessel, I love you.**
**I love you more** flashed across the screen as he heard a knock on his door. He looked up and could not believe his eyes.
"Am I seeing a ghost, or is Captain Jake Ballard really standing in my doorway?"
"The one and only," he grinned at him. "When I heard Fitz Grant was burning down city hall I had to come see it for myself."
Fitz rose to hug his old friend and invited him to sit, "What in the world are you doing here?"
"Well I've actually been on assignment in Massachusetts for some time now, working out of the facility in Dorcester. Lots of changes and reorgs brought me to Boston, managing security details and other top flight kind of stuff," he laughed.
Fitz chuckled, "I thought you were more into the intelligence side, not brute force."
Jake shrugged, "Well you know me, I just do what I'm assigned. I have a wife and new baby so I have to go where the money goes."
"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day when Bachelor Ballard would settle down, how is the family life treating you?"
He scoffed, "Man, it's _treating_ me. The paper this morning says you recently got married too, huh? I hear Harvard has been good to you," he laughed.
"Laugh all you want, but I'm happier than I've ever been. I truly am."
"That's awesome. Hey, we should really catch up. I have to run, but are you busy after work? Maybe we could get a beer or something."
"You have impeccable timing because I just found out I don't have any dinner plans, let's do it."
* * *
When Fitz finally finished all his duties for the day, he called Jake and they decided to get Italian takeout and beers and head to his apartment instead of hitting a restaurant or bar. They were relaxing in the living room on the sofa and Jake was informing him about the woes of his married life.
"I'm telling you, Fitz, the woman is a major mind fuck. We were dating, casually might I add, for maybe four months. I go on assignment for two weeks, come back and she's pregnant. What was I supposed to do?"
"You didn't necessarily have to marry her, there are other options,-"
He huffed, "You don't know Tina. She really changed once she got that leg up on me, man. She went from sweet and cool, to moody and cruel."
"Oh come on, it couldn't be that terrible. I'm sure you loved her at some point or you wouldn't have done it," Fitz reasoned.
"We do have our moments, and I do love her, but everyday is a roller coaster. We used to joke around and it would be light hearted and funny, but now it's just mean spirited. She never misses an opportunity to get in a jab at me. I'm hanging in there for junior, but I just don't know how much more I can take."
Fitz was trying to find the words to encourage his friend, when they both heard the sound of the key in the door. Olivia was in a zone as she slid into the apartment and slipped off her jacket and shoes, until she looked up and saw them sitting there.
"Oh, hey, I almost forgot you said you were having company," she said walking over with a smile and Fitz stood to introduce them.
"Liv, this is my old friend, Jake Ballard, we did some work in the Navy together. Jake, this is my wife, Olivia."
"Goodness, Fitz, why do I have to be your _old_ friend," he ribbed as he took in the sight before him. He could definitely see how Fitz had gotten ensnared by Olivia to the point of risking his job and reputation to be with her. She was beautiful and she had youth on her side, which in many cases proved to be a lethal combination.
"Nice to meet you, Jake," she offered a hand.
"Nice to meet you too, Olivia. I've heard so many wonderful things about you."
Fitz sat back on the couch and pulled her down beside him, "How was your meeting, babe?"
She sighed, "Long and drawn out for no reason, I'm pretty much going to have to do everything."
He laughed and kissed her temple, "They couldn't possibly be that bad."
She snuggled up close to him as he wrapped an arm around her waist, "Worse."
He cupped her face and kissed her softly, "That sucks, I'm sorry. Are you hungry? I picked up your favorite from Capriani's, it's in the kitchen. You should hang with us, if you're up for it."
"Oh thank you babe, but I'm a little tired. I won't interrupt you guys, I'm going to go relax and take a shower."
"You sure?"
"Yeah," she patted his arm reassuringly as she rose to leave, "you guys catch up, I'll be in the room." She turned her smile to Jake, "It was really nice meeting you. Hopefully you'll come over again."
"Definitely. I'm in the city now so we'll all be good friends," he smiled back at her.
Fitz watched her walk down the hall as if mesmerized, and Jake was just about to make a crack about him being whipped when his phone began to ring with the familiar Law & Order ringtone.
He sighed, "I should take this, it's my wife."
"No problem, I'll be right back," he replied quickly, taking the opportunity to follow Olivia down the hall.
She was already halfway undressed, clad in just her t-shirt and underwear when he slipped into the room, rummaging through her drawer for something to sleep in.
"So, it was that bad, huh?"
"Yup," she responded without turning around.
"Let me make it better," he whispered pulling her onto the bed and pinning her beneath him.
"Fitz, isn't your friend in the living room?"
"It's fine," he mumbled starting in on her neck,"he's taking a call, it'll be awhile."
She wriggled beneath him, playfully slapping his chest, "You are such a horn dog, that's so rude."
"You just turn me on more when you do that, you know," he rasped in her ear, taking her lobe between his teeth.
"Baby...let me take my shower," she moaned out, fighting against the desire that was getting hotter by the moment.
"No," he growled, the feeling of her body beneath his too intoxicating to stop
"_Please_," she whispered into his ear as she moved her hips purposefully against his growing erection.
"Uhn-uh," he groaned back, his middle grinding against hers rhythmically.
She wrapped her legs around his middle and doubled her efforts, his moans escaped his lips before he could stop himself, "Please, baby...I _promise_ I'll make it up to you."
He bit his lip as he looked down at her, "God, you sure know how to get your way."
He let her up and she grinned at him, "I'll see you in a little bit," she teased coyly as she rolled out of reach and hurried into the bathroom.
He calmed himself for a minute before heading back into the living room and as he drew closer he heard pieces of the one sided conversation, "Tina, no. Would you please, just listen, for once-"
"Okay, okay, but-"
"But I _did_-"
"Alright, fine, I'm on my way," he muttered before hanging up.
He sighed and looked up when he heard Fitz reenter the living room, "Hey, thanks for having me over bro, but I have to get headed home."
"I understand, I'll take you back to your car. We should hangout again soon."
"Definitely, maybe we could get the wives together, the four of us have dinner or something?"
"Yes, I'm definitely interested in meeting the force that is Tina, we'll plan something soon."
* * *
When Fitz returned to their bedroom, the television was on but the lights were dimmed. At his entrance she sat up in the bed, the covers slipping down to expose her nude upper body.
"Hi," he whispered, in awe at her boldness.
"Hi," she whispered back.
He moved to the side of the bed where she was laying and sat beside her. His hands immediately moving to pull away the rest of the sheet to reveal her lower half in red satin. He stared at her in amazement, his body already on fire. It amazed him each day how much he desired her, all of the time.
Sometimes all it took was that glimmer in her eyes when she looked at him before telling him how much she loved him, or the way she would cock her head to the left a little before deciding if something was worthy of a full laugh or a hearty chuckle, or the way she would drum her fingertips lightly across the table as she was thinking. He loved all of her intricacies and her presence consumed him.
She smiled shyly, "I thought we could finish what you started earlier."
_I am the luckiest man in the world_, he thought to himself and he knew right then he didn't care what he had to do or who he had to convince, but he was going to make sure no one disrupt their happiness.
* * *
**A/N2: Okay, I hope you guys liked it! Some new, but familiar characters popping up, and Amanda tanner is still somewhere lurking, lol. What do you guys think about the deal Fitz made? Do you think he may be biting off more than he can chew? If you were Olivia, do you think you could forgive Abby? Or Cyrus? Love to hear your opinions, shit is about to get real in the next few chapters, though!**
**Oh yeah and mochamajesty asked why doesn't Liv have her own car even though she has the money. For the sake of the story, it happened that way, because I sort of seen it as symbolic. I feel listein the story her character has been kind of been in the passenger seat in the vehicle of her life, affected by the choices that the people in her life have made. So even though she has the ability, she doesn't necessarily have the confidence. Also, before Fitz she never really went anyplace so she didn't really need one, but she is going to get it together! **
20. Branches
One thing Fitz was realizing about trying to maneuver a political upset was that it was more about what you had to offer than what you had to say. Being in City Hall full time instead of a few hours a week was a completely different experience and his first couple of days there were odd, but he was having an interesting time adjusting to the change of pace. He was enjoying learning the ins and outs his job, but his biggest concern was figuring out how to approach the various councilmen about the upcoming property vote without making his intentions too obvious.
Fitz had done his research on each councilman's voting history and gotten a cursory appraisal of who was likely to vote or against TYNE Inc. Out of the total twenty four votes he needed two thirds to block the proposal, so only sixteen votes stood in the way of his success. His preliminary investigation told him that ten of the councilmen were staunchly opposed to the corporation and would vote against their interests in all matters. Those councilmen were representatives of working class neighborhoods which had been the target of earlier aggressive urban expansion projects which pushed out many low income residents in rent controlled residences, so their votes were a guarantee in any move to block TYNE's growth.
Knowing this he didn't waste time trying to convince those members, but he did speak with each one personally and briefly expressed his concerns about the initiative and offer solidarity. He still needed at least six more votes, and he knew six councilmen were unwavering supporters of Billy Chambers and would definitely vote the way he had been pressuring them to, but that still left eight votes up for grabs and Fitz wanted them all.
He had been making his rounds over the past three weeks, securing personal meetings with all of the fence straddlers and feeling them out. Although he had hoped the common sense and the morality of the matter would be enough to persuade his peers, it had taken more wheeling and dealing to seal the deal than he had originally planned.
Promises of meetings, attendance at fundraising banquets, future alliances and such were the breadth of the parleys. It amazed him how to rid himself of one large debt, he had to take on a number of small ones, but it was worth it. The past couple of weeks had been the epitome of freedom and the backlash had been minimal. With Fitz out of the classroom already, effectively recusing himself, the intended pacification had been achieved and he was in the homestretch of fulfilling his end of the bargain and he would not rest until he was triumphant.
Fitz was currently preparing for Thursday's council meeting where he would be making his boldest move yet. Just that morning he had e-mailed the council secretary to add a topic of discussion to old business. This would allow him a few minutes to speak to the entire group all at once, where he planned to lay out the dirty, ugly truth about TYNE. Then on Sunday, at the planned benefit dinner, he would sweep the room to get an idea of what loose ends remained until the following Tuesday's vote.
Short on time and with the voting day swiftly approaching, he needed to cast a large net and box in some votes, whether it was based on pathos or ethos he didn't care, but his words would leave little room for interpretation. He knew better than to get into the details of Billy's sordid bribery ring, but he did intend to present his research on how the shady organization had "successfully" developed other spaces in their and other cities across the nation which and make plain their pattern of creating unsustainable developments, the majority of which had fallen into disrepair.
A knock pulled him out of his thoughts.
"Come in," he called through the door.
Quinn opened the door tentatively, "I'm sorry to interrupt you, I know you're very busy, it's just that Billy Chambers is outside insisting that he speak with you and he won't take no for an answer."
"It's fine," he replied reassuringly, knowing that Billy had a reputation for being incorrigibly persistent, and he had long been expecting a visit from the man. "You can go ahead and send him in."
"Okay, sir, sorry, sir!" she chirped disappearing from the doorway.
Moments later the door was opening again and the blonde man stood unassumingly in the doorframe, "Hello, Fitzgerald."
"Hello, Bill," Fitz returned the greeting flatly.
Billy smirked at that, "How are you liking my old, _oops_ I mean your new job?"
"It suits me pretty well, actually. Can I help you with something?"
"Maybe," he replied coyly, closing the door behind him. "May I ask what is your investment in the Dover Street development project? Why are you pushing for Harvard so hard?"
"Excuse me?"
"What is your endgame? What is Harvard offering you?"
Fitz avoided the last question, "It's the most ethical use of the space, Billy. What is your investment in TYNE, would be the better question?"
He sat without invitation, "Ethical? You've got to be kidding me. You do know you're in City Hall, right? Those little textbooks with their ethics and morals could never prepare you for this shark tank. We go by quid pro quo here, Fitz, which is pretty ethical in my opinion. Fair exchange is no robbery, right?"
He shrugged, "Depends on the exchange. Why are you here, Billy?"
"I'm here to help you. This is a brave new world for you and I don't think you quite understand the way things work around here. You're involving yourself in things that are much, _much_ bigger than you. Bigger than the space even. I figured I'd give you some friendly advice." He sat back in the chair and his smile turned to an unreadable mask, "Certain things are better left unsaid and certain issues untouched. You piss a lot of people off when you start messing with their bottom line."
"People like who, exactly?"
"Just people. Some of whom aren't very happy with the message you've been spreading about their company and thus are trying to find ways to make _yours_ the shortest stint in head of communications history. But look, I know what a great guy you are and I spoke up on your behalf. I even have a gift for you, a peace offering," his smile returned as he slid an envelope across the wide desk.
Fitz watched his hand like a venomous snake, "What is that?"
"Just open it."
Fitz opened the small, off-white envelope to uncover a cashiers check for $50,000. "Whoa what the hell is this!" he demanded.
"Money," Billy responded simply as if the were an everyday interaction for him, which wouldn't be too hard to believe.
"Clearly, but for what, exactly?" Fitz asked, knowing but wanting to hear the words.
"For your friendship. Like I said, fair exchange is no robbery. Let this thing go, this whole rallying for the 'ethical' choice thing you've got going. Wait until you have a few more friends and experience to rock the boat, now is not the time."
Fitz slid the check back to him, "My friendship and dignity cannot be bought, and if it could, it'd be worth way more than fifty thousand."
"I'm telling you-"
"You're not _telling_ me anything. In fact, you're leaving. Thank you for your time, Billy," Fitz stood, extending his hand in an act of dismissal.
"Don't say I never warned you," the man huffed, grilling Fitz's lingering hand before turning to leave.
Fitz shook his head in disgust at the scene that just played out before picking up the phone to call Quinn. He didn't have time to waste.
"Is my 12:20 with Councilman Jacobs confirmed?"
Fitz was on a mission and he wasn't going to let Billy or anyone else stop him.
* * *
Olivia made her way through the security requirements that were quickly becoming just another part of her routine. She had visited City Hall on more than a handful of occasions in the few weeks since Fitz had begun working there full time, so the security guards knew her face and made it painless for her.
As she rounded the corner to Fitz's office, Quinn's desk came into view and she could see the young woman was very busy juggling the phone and computer simultaneously. She had come to be friendly with the woman, especially since she always seemed to be in an eager to please mood and wasn't but five years older than Olivia. Fitz was pleased with her work so far and Olivia liked her kindness and respected her professionalism, so she was very happy that she had had a hand in selecting her because it was proving itself to be the right choice.
Quinn was just finishing up her call as Olivia stopped a few feet away from her desk when she noticed that Fitz's door was closed.
"Hey Quinn, how are you?"
"I'm good Liv, how's your day been?"
"So far, so good. One of my classes got cancelled last minute so that's always a win. Is Fitz around?"
"No, he's actually scheduled for a working lunch with another councilman, you just missed him."
"Aw, I knew I should've called, but I wanted to surprise him."
"That's so sweet! He going to be upset when I tell him that he missed you stopping by. Are you gonna head home instead?"
"I would but I have another class in a couple of hours, so I'll probably just grab something and head back to campus to avoid the temptation of getting too comfortable."
"Oh...well I was gonna take my break in like five minutes. We can go together if you want, you don't have to eat alone," she offered timidly.
Olivia hesitated but then though better of it, "Sure, that's sounds great. What are you in the mood for?"
* * *
The ladies walked over to the small restaurant of Quinn's suggestion located only five minutes away from City Hall which she promised Olivia was to die for. The eatery offered American, Italian and Mexican cuisine, so they were both able to choose something suitable to their different tastes. They sat and made comfortable small talk until somehow the conversation turned personal and Quinn began telling Olivia about her background and her experience majoring in Political Science and Technology at MIT.
"My dad was a poli sci major so I was practically groomed for it my whole life, but I also love computers. My mom died when I was ten so it was just the two of us, we spent a lot of time in the basement," Quinn confessed.
"Oh," was all Olivia could muster at her forthrightness. The way she shared it so effortlessly disarmed her, and before she could stop herself she was confessing too, "My mom died, too. When I was twelve." She wasn't even sure why she said it once the words were out and she was instantly embarrassed.
The conversation lulled for a moment before Quinn spoke again, "I hope it's not weird because your husband is my boss, but are you free Thursday evening? I'm having a small get together and I'd love it if you came."
"Really?" Olivia asked, genuinely surprised.
"Yeah! My boyfriend Stephen is throwing me a little shindig, congratulations on my job, nothing big, just a few people. You can bring some friends if you'd like. Fitz told me that you liked my resume which I'm sure was key in me getting the position, and you've been so nice to me, you don't know what some of these other councilman's wives are like," she laughed.
Olivia smiled, lunch had turned out alright after all. "I'd love to. Send me the details and I'll definitely I'll swing by."
* * *
Thursday came quicker than he was prepared for, and as Fitz sat in his meeting anxiously awaiting his turn to speak, he couldn't help but think about Olivia at Quinn's party. When she had asked him about it, he said he didn't think it would be problematic, but in his mind he did have reservations about it.
He had warned her not to get photographed doing anything questionable and she had laughed it off, but he was partially serious. He knew that Olivia was far from a party girl and he had never even seen her drink hard liquor or get drunk, but something in him was worried.
It was gnawing at him that this was going to be the first time she was going someplace social without him since they'd been together and he wasn't sure what the crowd was going to be like. Quinn seemed mature and put together at work, but people were rarely ever who they appeared to be on the surface.
Deeper than that though, Fitz hated to admit that that a selfish and irrational part of him didn't want to share Olivia and her branching out a bit awakened an insecurity he wasn't even aware he possessed. He was used to them spending every free moment together and he wasn't sure he was ready for that to change just yet.
_She's young, she has the right to go out without you,_ he chastised himself. It wasn't right for him to expect her to spend every waking moment with him or waiting on him, but he loved nothing more than the sight of her curled up in the bed when he came in the door. However it boiled down to letting go and playing it cool or risk smothering her and having her pull away eventually, and he wanted to avoid that. He wanted them to have a loving, enduring, but most importantly _healthy_ marriage, and that included giving her room to grow outside of him.
He heard the nasally voice of the council secretary calling him up to introduce his addition to the agenda and he stood to meet the challenge. As he walked up to the podium he was transforming every ounce of worry and insecurity into passion and clarity. He had a message to get across and even though his head wasn't completely clear, he was going to use that energy to propel him forward.
* * *
As Harrison pulled onto the block indicated on the GPS, it was clear that that Olivia and Quinn had two very different definitions of a 'little shindig.' It was safe to assume that the house which had cars packed into the driveway and strewn across the lawn was the place they were looking for.
"Ugh," Huck groaned from the backseat, "I thought this was supposed to be something small? You guys know I don't fuck with crowds."
"We didn't know!" they replied in unison. She had convinced Huck to come only on the basis that Quinn had insisted it was supposed to be a small celebration, and she knew it would be a long time before she got him to come out again.
As they parked and approached from down the street they still couldn't hear the music, which confused her. She knew it was probably not likely that they were having tea and strumpets inside, but she was curious about what type of activities were going on at the party. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that the lights were on because she hated grind in the dark parties and would feel bad for turing right back around to leave.
Olivia knocked on the door and moments later it swung open to reveal a chipper Quinn. She reached to embrace Olivia as if they were long time friends, "Oh my god! You came! You brought friends! Come in, come in!"
"Hi Quinn, this is my cousin Harrison and my good friend Huck, thanks for having us. I thought you said a small get together though?" she asked as she looked around. There were small groups standing around sipping drinks and talking.
"It is," she looked confused, "if there's less than fifty people, and no dancing, it's not a real party! Come on, I'll show you guys around."
She gave the threesome a quick tour around the two story, Victorian style house, swinging around until they were on the back porch. There they found a group of four guys in one corner and a single guy smoking a cigarette by the steps.
"Guys," she sung as she walked over to the dark haired man, "this is my boyfriend Stephen."
He nodded as she introduced them and then spoke up, "Can I offer you mates a cigarette?"
"No thanks," Huck and Olivia replied in unison.
"I'll have one," Harrison spoke up and the two turned to look at him like he had five heads. "What? I'm in college, I'm allowed to experiment," he grinned mischievously.
"It's not experimentation if you've smoked before," Olivia admonished him.
"You know I seem to remember _you_ giving me the cigarettes, or did you forget that part?" he laughed as Stephen sparked it for him.
"You didn't care for the taste?" Stephen inquired, directing the question at Olivia, but Harrison answered instead.
"Ha! Did she?! Olivia was the chain smoking queen of the eleventh grade."
Quinn looked at her wide eyed, "No way, you look so innocent."
"It was only for like three months," Olivia tried to trivialize it.
"Um, try the whole school year!"
"So why did you quit?" Quinn pondered aloud, her interest piqued.
"Because Harrison got us caught smoking in his bedroom. He was fiending for a cigarette and couldn't wait until after midnight like we usually did, so of course my aunt smelled it and came bursting down the door. She made us smoke the entire pack, which was enough for me, but clearly not for Harrison!" she recounted with a wide smile and they all laughed.
It was the first of many hearty laughs that night and Olivia decided she liked little shindigs with forty plus people after all.
* * *
Fitz was in the kitchen making a bowl of oatmeal. He was hungry and he was tired, and although it was after midnight and he had to be up early in the morning, he knew he couldn't rest until Olivia was safe in his arms. She was still at Quinn's party but his meeting had ended two hours ago and he was trying to keep occupied to keep from calling her.
Just then he heard the door slam and he felt a smile cross his face.
"I'm in here," he yelled out, and mere moments later he felt familiar arms around his middle.
She rested her head against his back and he felt her body sigh contentedly against his. "How was your meeting?" she asked, her words partially muffled by his shirt.
"Great, I'm confident I got my point across. I still have a couple more guys to meet with, but I'm kind of cruising until the benefit dinner on Sunday. Vote is Tuesday, so we'll see sooner than later. Did you have fun at Quinn's party?"
"It was okay, it would have been better if you were there," she replied rubbing his back.
He felt his smile widen, "Oh no, you guys don't want an old fart like me hanging around. I don't want to cramp your style."
"Oh please, you don't even look your age, Fitz. Plus there were a lot of people there, no one would have even noticed...Does it make me completely pathetic that I missed you even though I just saw you this afternoon?"
"If that's the case then I'm drowning in the Pathetic Ocean cause I missed you too, babe," he replied turning around to kiss her forehead. He abandoned his oatmeal and picked her up to place her on the opposite counter.
She traced his lips with her fingertips and he kissed each one, "When you're not around, it's like a piece of me is missing."
He kissed her neck playfully, "Well technically we are one person now, so I guess it makes sense."
She giggled, "Right, we're Folivia."
He snickered, "Sheesh, all I get is one letter but you have your whole name? That's not fair!"
"Okay, so you think of one," she countered.
"Hmmm, how about Olitz? That seems equal."
"I like that one," she squealed, "we should name our first baby that."
He could feel his mouth gaping open at her mention of children, 'first' implying that there would be many, or at least more than one. As much as he had thought about it he was reluctant to bring up the topic of kids because he didn't want her to feel pressured.
Although he tried not to think too much about their age difference, in his heart he knew she was too young at this point to make the kind of sacrifice children would require and he would never ask her to so soon. She had dreams of law school and a career and he knew a baby would not fit in there anytime soon, but it was nice to know that she wanted to, somewhere down the line.
"You want to have my baby?" he asked incredulously.
"Of course I do," she answered quickly, "unless you don't want to."
He covered her stomach with his large hand, "No, no, I do. I _really_ do," he emphasized. She had meant her original comment to be flippant, but she could tell by his smile that he had thought about it before and was serious. "There is nothing I want more than eight little Olitzes running around, screaming and climbing all over us," he added.
"Eight? Are you crazy? I would do anything for you Fitz, but I don't know about eight kids," she laughed
He shrugged with a crooked grin, "I'm open to compromise."
"Well, I was thinking two."
Two? Come on, two?" he repeated, "that's no fun!"
She laughed heartily at his indignation and kissed his nose, "How about four? Twice my number, but half of yours"
"Four sounds like the perfect number. I was just messing with you, though. However many beautiful babies you want to give me, I'll be happy with it...The more the merrier though," he added with a smile. "I'm content just to practice for now," he added, throwing her over his shoulder as he headed toward the bedroom.
* * *
When Jake saw the red and blue lights flashing in his rearview mirror he knew he was fucked. He looked down at the speedometer and realized he was doing fifty on a residential street, so he hoped the officer would give him a ticket and send him on his way. He pulled over and checked his reflection in the rearview mirror, wishing that he didn't look as terrible as he felt.
The cop approached the car with his flashlight shining, "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over tonight?"
"Um, I was going a little fast," he slurred in spite of his best efforts.
"How much have you had to drink tonight?"
"Just a couple of beers," he mumbled, fumbling for his license and registration.
"Right, can you step out of the car for me, please?"
After administering a couple of sobriety tests the officer wasted no time, "I'm going to have to place you under arrest for driving under the influence, sir. Please place your hands behind your back."
"Sir, please, no," Jake pleaded, "I'm-I'm in the service, the Navy. I'm on assignment right now and this could destroy an ongoing investigation. I promise you I'm just having a terrible night...a fight with my wife, I've never done this before, I swear. My papers are in the dashboard console if you don't believe me!"
The older man eyed him curiously before going into the car and locating the papers. He sighed before speaking, "Do you have anyone you can call? Someone who can pick you up to sober off until morning?"
Jake paused for a moment, "Yes, I think I do."
* * *
Fitz was concentrating on the news when his phone buzzed softly beside him. Friday had been a long, but productive day, and he was enjoying taking his mind off of work. He looked at the caller id and saw that it was Jake, but not much in the mood for conversation, he decided he would call him back the following day. He sighed when the phone stopped and immediately began buzzing again, resigned to finding out what was so important he needed to call back to back at 11:30 p.m.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Fitz, how are you, it's Jake," he started shakily. "Are you busy?"
Fitz looked down at his chest, "I'm kind of on pillow duty," he chuckled. "Olivia just fell asleep on me a little bit ago."
"Oh, well, hey man, I hate to ask, but I'm in a bit of bind. Is it possible that you could come pick me up?"
"Pick you up? From where? What's wrong?" he asked curiously.
"I had a little run in with the law. They'll let me go if someone come gets but-"
"Okay, okay, I'm coming, just tell me where you are," he rushed out knowing it must be beyond serious. He gathered the address information and decided to try to wake Olivia.
"Liv," he kissed her forehead, but instead of waking up she just snuggled up closer to him. He chuckled and stroked her face as he watched her sleep peacefully for a moment. He could tell waking her up was going to be a fruitless pursuit, so he readjusted himself so he could slide her onto the pillow beside him and slip out of the bed.
* * *
Fitz was on the scene within fifteen minutes and could see Jake hanging his head in shame beside the cop car as he approached.
The officer spoke first, "Your friend here blew twice the legal limit. Do I need to tow his car, or will you be sure to take care that he doesn't drive tonight?"
"I've got it from here, sir. Thank you for allowing him a chance to be picked up instead of hauling him off to the precinct for the night."
"It's no problem. I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who serve our country in this time of terrorism and hostility. It changes people. When I came back from Korea I wasn't the same for while, so I understand. But you could have killed someone tonight Captain Ballard and you're luckily it was me and not some cuff-happy young guy looking to make a name for himself. If I catch you again, don't expect a break," the man reprimanded.
"Thank you, sir," Jake responded simply without taking his eyes off the ground.
After parking Jake's car, the two piled into Fitz's vehicle, but he wasn't sure where exactly to go.
"So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on with you? Driving drunk? Are you trying to kill yourself? Or someone else?"
Jake stared listlessly out the window, "Can we stop somewhere for a drink?"
Fitz huffed in disbelief, "You're kidding me, right?"
"Maybe not a whole drink, maybe just pick up a six pack or something?"
"What? No fucking way. I know you didn't call me so we could go out drinking-"
"And I also didn't call you for a fucking lecture. I called because I needed a ride, so just leave me alone," Jake snarled.
"I'm only going to ask you one more time, what the hell is your problem? You're acting like I owe you something when I could've just stayed in my very comfortable bed with my sleeping wife. I don't have to be doing this shit."
"Too bad not all of us can have the perfect marriage like you, Fitzgerald," the acidity dripped from his tongue.
"What is this all about?"
"I should kill her. I could have killed her and gotten away with it too, but I'm too much of a coward. You don't know how badly I wanted to wrap my hands around her throat until she turned blue-" Jake growled angrily.
"_Whoa_, buddy, what? Are we talking about Tina? Whatever she's done, it's not worth going to jail over, just think about Junior, where would that leave him?" Fitz tried to reason with him.
He laughed mirthlessly, "Junior? That's a fucking joke. He's not even my damn kid and she had the audacity-"
"Why would you say something like that?!"
"Because she told me so," he scoffed. "She just dropped it on me like it was nothing. All the sacrifices I've made, all the bullshit I've put up with just to make this family work and he's not even **_MINE_**!"
Fitz looked at him in shock, unable to find any words to respond. He sighed at pulled over as a convenience store came into sight, "You sit tight, alright? I'm gonna run inside and get you a beer, but just one."
"Thank you, Fitz. Make it a 24 oz please," he said, giving him a strained smile.
_Where the hell is Harrison when you need him?_ was all Fitz could think as he browsed the beer selection. He was certain the younger man would've found all the right words to talk Jake down from the ledge without enabling him to drink more, but unfortunately he didn't have that skill. His mind was blown by the startling revelation, so he could only imagine how screwed up Jake's head was. He checked out, his mind still fuddled by the last fifteen minutes and joined the somber man back in the car.
"So how did you find this out?" Fitz mustered the courage to ask.
Jake opened the beer and sighed, "We were arguing because I came home and she was in the room, on the phone as always. She had Junior in front of the television in his bouncy chair. I let her have it about how she's a sorry excuse for a mother and she said 'well at least I am his mother.' When I asked her what that was supposed to mean, she asked me if ever wondered why his eyes were green and both of ours were blue," he choked out shaking his head.
"You sure she wasn't saying it just to get under your skin?"
"I don't know, but I doubt it. Who says something like that if there's not a possibility that it might be true?"
"Someone being spiteful, trying to win a fight."
"I slapped her Fitz," he confessed in a hushed voice.
"What?! Jake, come on man-"
"She knew what she was doing! She knew she would crush me by saying that! I told her things about my family and she knows how much being a dad means to me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was be my like my father."
"But you talked about your dad all the time, how he was a high rankling lieutenant-"
"Because that's all I really knew about him. I saw him on holidays and every other summer, but even then we never really knew each other. He was always going away on duty. I didn't want that for my son, I wanted to be there. I wanted to know his favorite color, his favorite cereal, read him books at night, show him all the things my dad never showed me. I didn't want him to grow up with the emptiness that I felt, trying to fill the shoes of a man who was little more than a ghost to me. And she **_took_** that from me. She lied and she stole that from me. What am I supposed to do now? To tell me that the boy who I hold every night, who I watched take his first breath, his first steps, is not mine! How am I supposed to deal with that?"
Fitz paused unsure how to respond, but he just let the words flow, "Jake, sometimes life is cruel, but no matter what happens, you are that boy's dad, biology be damned. Any male can make a child, but it takes a real man to be a dad, and genetics is just a small part of that. There are ways for you to find out for sure if you want to know if he's yours or not. But it doesn't have to change the love you bear for him and you still have rights as a father if you want them. It takes a certain caliber of man to raise a child that's not his and it's not a decision you need to make right now, but it is an option. You don't have to let her take that from you, the choice is yours. Come on, you shouldn't go home tonight. You can crash on my couch for the night."
* * *
All was quiet as the two men entered the apartment, and Fitz he turned on the dim light by the door.
"Alright," he whispered, "I'm gonna get you a blanket and pillow."
Jake leaned down to take off his shoes by the door, but lost his balance, sending him headlong onto the floor with a loud crash.
"Fuck," he screamed louder than he meant to and Fitz erupted with muted laughter.
"Quiet, dude," he tried to hush him but at that moment all of the living room lights flashed on and Olivia was in the entrance of the hallway.
She was a beautiful, slumbering, confused mess, and Jake could tell by the look on her face Fitz hadn't told her to expect company, so he was probably in deep trouble. Her curly mane was unruly and wild, and her already tiny tshirt rose to barely cover the tops of her thighs as she tried to wipe the sleepiness out of her eyes. As hard as he tried he couldn't pry his eyes away from her exposed skin.
"What is going on?" she asked sleepily, as if she wasn't sure if the sight before her was a dream or reality
"Go back to bed baby," Fitz urged her, "I'll be there in a second, okay?"
She paused for a second as if she were going to question him further but thought better of it. "Okay," she muttered, turning to head back to bed. He was enthralled by the sway of her hips sauntering down the hallway until he felt Fitz's foot kicking him.
"Keep your eyes to yourself," he scolded gruffly
"Sorry," he mumbled before gathering his bearings to get back up.
* * *
Jake had been laying on the couch for a full fifteen minutes and was close to sleep when the urge to pee overwhelmed him. He sat up and realized that the last time he had been here, he hadn't used the bathroom and he wasn't sure where it could be in the darkness. He followed the corridor down to Fitz's bedroom and was just about to knock when he heard a high pitched giggle through the door.
He look down at the empty space between the door and the floor and noticed that the lights in their bedroom were off. He heard the bass of Fitz's voice through the door but not his words. Whatever he said elicited another giggle from Olivia and an admonishing, but playful, "Fitz."
Fitz responded with a playful, "What?," and then he could hear the sounds of them kissing and weight shifting on the bed. She called his name again but this time it was a moan, her breathing loud and labored.
Jake stood there lingering for a moment, confused. He was almost sure Fitz was going to be in the doghouse for bringing him home without permission but it sounded like he was being rewarded.
"Turn over," he heard Fitz's voice boom out in the darkness, and he imagined that she was obliging him.
"Baby," another of her moans wafted through the door and could feel himself reacting to the sensuality in her voice. He closed his eyes and the sight of Olivia's slim, shapely legs filled his mind. He wondered what her face looked like when she was being pleasured and whether her lips were as soft as they appeared.
Fitz grunted and Olivia gasped in delight, and he felt his member throbbing and suddenly awareness filled his consciousness.
_What the fuck am I doing?_ he snapped out of his haze and moved away from the door down the hallway. He saw a door and opened it in hopes that it was the bathroom, but instead it was another room which looked like it could be Fitz's home office. There was another door two feet away and he opened it to reveal a half bathroom. He relieved himself and washed his hands, taking in his reflection disgustedly.
_You're a sick bastard, Jake. Fantasizing about your friend's wife and listening in on them is a new low, even for you_, he thought as he went back to his makeshift bed on the couch.
_That girl is not even my type. I like them tall, blonde and with a bad attitude,_ which was precisely why he was in the predicament he was currently in.
_I'm just horny_, he rationalized. It had been almost a month since he and Tina had last been intimate, and even though he couldn't stand her most of the time, the hatred between them made for good sex.
_I'm going to forget this ever happened_, he resolved as he drifted off.
* * *
He couldn't tell if he was dreaming as he opened his eyes.
_I must be dreaming, what would she be doing hovering over me?_
"Are you okay?" Olivia asked and he knew it was real. Her full lips were pursed in concern and her eyebrows were furrowed. She was dresssd more appropriately for company, her small tshirt exchanged for the shirt Fitz had been wearing yesterday, and long pajama pants covered her petite legs.
"I heard you groaning when I went to get a glass of water. Do you feel okay? Do you want an aspirin?"
He nodded yes as the pounding in his head became more forceful.
She disappeared and returned with two small white pills and a glass of water. He swallowed the pills quickly and his stomach rumbled in return.
She laughed, "Are you hungry?"
"Umm a little bit," he admitted, "I didn't have dinner yesterday."
"I can make you something, what are you in the mood for?"
He paused, confused. He couldn't remember the last time someone who wasn't a customer service representative asked him what he wanted. "What do you mean?"
She raised an eyebrow, "I mean, what do you want to eat? For breakfast?" she looked at him curiously.
He must have sounded a complete fool, who didn't know what they were in the mood to eat? "I dunno, what do you have?"
"You can come take a look," she offered, walking into the kitchen and the scene from last night played over in his head. Her pajama pants disappeared and he swore he could see her bare legs before him, the sounds of her sexy moans filling his head again without his permission.
_I'm going out and I'm getting laid tonight_, he told himself, _this is **not** okay._
* * *
Sunday morning came in the blink of an eye, but this morning Olivia woke up with a ball of dread in her stomach. She looked up at Fitz sleeping peacefully, his right arm and leg distributed evenly across her body. She fingered his curls lightly and sighed. She was not looking forward to this dinner tonight, although her mind told her she should be excited. It was kind of like their big debut, even though everyone already knew. It was symbolic of exactly for what they had been waiting for, for so long, so why did her gut keep screaming that something was wrong?
She sighed again and resigned herself to get over the silly anxiety. This was an important night for Fitz as she knew the big day was coming up in the next couple of days and he wanted to mingle and be sure to take the temperature of a few of the councilmen to make sure that all was in place for the looming vote and failure was not an option. She was going to support him and she was going to do it with a smile. He had put it all on the line for them to be at this point, and anything else just wouldn't be right.
The rest of the day passed by uneventfully, and for as much of an inner pep talk as she was giving herself, it was not working. Fitz had been in a great mood since he had awoke and she was trying to keep up, but she was failing miserably.
Less than two hours until the event she was standing in the mirror still trying to style her hair. They were leaving in an hour because the dinner was at a private lodge twenty minutes north of the city. She was struggling with her bang when Fitz came up behind her and caught her frowning.
He wrapped his arms around her, "What's wrong, baby? Are you nervous?"
She nodded, "Yeah. I've been trying to shake it all day, I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry, Livi, and you don't have to be nervous, either. You look beautiful, as always, and you're an amazing conversationalist. We're gonna go rub elbows, we're gonna dance, and we're gonna laugh at all the weirdos. Easy breezy. I promise I'll be by your side the entire night, you have nothing to worry about."
She turned around in his and put her face in his chest, "I know it's just, I wish we didn't have to go." She knew she was acting like a big baby but she couldn't help it.
He pulled back and eyed her seriously, "Are you feeling okay, babe?"
She shook her head, "I'm just being stupid, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Because if you really, really don't want to go-"
"No we're going, and I'm going to be fine, she smiled, "I promised."
He kissed her forehead, "Thank you."
* * *
By the time the end of the night rolled around, Olivia's frown had vanished and was replaced the breathtaking smile that Fitz lived for. They worked the room effortlessly, mingling with the people on his checklist and dancing in between. Just as he promised they laughed and had an overall good time and he didn't leave her side unless absolutely necessary. The night was just about at a close and after the finishing statements they were free to leave, so he wanted to make sure to use the restroom before the mad dash at the end.
"I'm going to run to gentleman's room quick, okay?"
"Okay," she said flashing him a genuine smile as he rose.
There was no line so he utilized an empty stall quickly, but when he went to wash his hands one of his least favorite people just so happened to be finishing up at the same time.
"Enjoying your night, Fitzgerald?" Billy's cocksure voice sung from four sinks away.
"The best," he replied casually, not bothering to ask about the other man's night.
Billy turned to face him, "Last chance to accept the olive branch. What do you say?" he asked with a nauseating smile.
"Thanks, but no thanks," Fitz answered without hesitation, turning quickly on his heels to exit.
"Have a safe trip home," Billy called out behind him.
* * *
Less than ten minutes later Olivia and Fitz were on the way back to the car, both their moods cheery. He had changed his mind about waiting for the ending remarks and decided to beat the crowd out of the parking lot.
When they entered the car, he grabbed her hand and kissed her it. "Thank you," he whispered pulling her onto his lap.
"You don't have to thank me, Fitz."
"I know you were nervous earlier, but I think it went great, you?"
"I agree," she grinned.
"I just want you to know everything I'm doing isn't just for me, it's for you too, Livi. For us," he told her seriously.
"I know," she whispered.
"I just want you to be happy."
"I am, Fitz, I really am. I want you to be happy, too, and for you to accomplish all your goals and dreams. I'm always going to be there to support you, no matter how nervous I am," she promised.
He smiled earnestly, "Olivia you _are_ my dream, all this other stuff is just icing on the cake."
They were ten minutes into their drive home when Fitz heard a car honk behind him. He looked in his side view mirror and noticed that the driver's side headlight wasn't on.
"Shit, it was fine when we left earlier," he mumbled. "I'm gonna pull over real quick and check it out."
He hoped there was a quick fix like a loose wire as he exited the car, but as he drew nearer he saw what appeared to be multiple scratches and bent down to get a closer look. Just then he heard a car pulling to stop a few feet behind him and a car door open and shut. He looked over his shoulder and saw a short man of average build in a black parka and dark jeans.
"Need some help with that, bud?"
"No, don't think there's anything can be done," he responded turning back to take in the damage.
"Sure about that, Fitz?" the man challenged.
At that he froze and his heart began to beat a little faster in his chest.
He stood, "Do I know you from somewhere?"
The passenger side door and rear door opened and two more men emerged from the car the man had exited moments earlier.
Ftz backed up a step, "Can I help you guys with something?"
"Who us? No. You had your chance to help and you passed it up. Didn't they warn you about rocking the boat?"
Just then he heard the door to his car open and her heels clacking against the cement and his heart sunk.
"Livi, baby, get back in the car," he called, trying to keep his voice even.
"What's wrong?" she asked, ignoring his request.
"Make her get back in the car or he will, Fitzgerald," the man rasped in a hushed tone, motioning towards his heavy set comrade.
"Olivia, please, I need you to get in the car," his voice broke and he hoped she could feel his urgency.
She stood there for a moment that felt like eternity and he knew that she was fighting with herself; she wanted to do something, she wanted to fix it but there was nothing she could do. When he heard the car door close again it was the sweetest sound he ever heard. He wished she would just put the car in drive and take off. He already knew it was too late for him, but she could still get away.
"She follows directions, you should have done the same," were the last words he heard before a burning sensation overtook his whole body and the world was spinning. He felt the ground come up to meet him but there was no pain except the burning.
Then he felt arms around him, small but strong arms, and she was screaming his name but it was so far away.
_No_, he tried to scream, _what are you doing here, go,_ he tried to warn her, but instead of words there was only blood and her arms were the last things he felt as he drifted into blackness.
* * *
A/N: let me know what you think!
21. Promises
A/N: **This one is pretty long, my longest one yet, but it's a week in the making. Hope you enjoy what happens next!**
* * *
When Jake got the call it was close to midnight and he had been dead asleep, sprawled haphazardly across the double-size bed in the hotel room that had been his home for close to a week. Even in his groggy state he knew it had to be some sort of an emergency situation if someone from City Hall was calling him so late at night, and on a Sunday at that.
He had braced himself as he slid the unlock button on his phone, already expecting the worst. Yet and still nothing could have prepared him to hear the words that came next: Fitz had been shot and his condition was critical. They weren't even sure if he would make it through the night.
Jake was up on his feet and en route to the office in the blink of an eye. When he arrived he was briefed by the mayor's team on the details of the brutal and senseless attack, all of which left him more confused, stunned and worried than he had been originally.
They had called Jake in because the mayor was shaken up by the incident and demanding that his security be increased and tightened. Although it was still unclear what the motivation was behind the attack, if any, the mayor wanted to preemptively protect himself and simulataneously quell the fears of the public by presenting a 'firm on crime' stance in the morning's press conference. The plan was to minimize the incident by framing it as a random act which had taken place outside of the city limits, and was being handled by the authorities.
Somehow the mayor had pulled strings so that the story wouldn't break until the following morning's news cycle, allowing them a little time to prep for the press frenzy that would undoubtedly ensue. In the mean time, the mayor was requesting that someone visit the hospital to get a brief update on Fitz's outlook and try to wrangle a hopeful quote from a qualified representative, preferably the lead doctor.
Jake immediately volunteered because Fitz was his friend and he needed to see for himself how he was doing. At least that what he was trying convince himself was motivating him. Part of him, a larger part than he was willing to acknowledge, was desperate to see Olivia again. He wondered if she was hurt and if she was alone, if she was hysterical or calm.
It bothered him that she stuck in his mind, no matter how many times he reminded himself she belonged to someone else, his _friend_ at that. Even after going out and getting his rocks off he still couldn't shake his infatuation, much to his dismay, so he had promised himself that he was going to stay away, _**far**_ away, from her. Nevertheless, it seemed life was thrusting them together and he was going to seize the opportunity.
Jake arrived to a hospital alive with constant movement of patients, staff, and security, scrambling around hurriedly in a chaotically orderly fashion. It took some time, but after flashing his credentials to three different nurses, one finally was able to steal the head doctor away from his post for a moment to give him an update.
"Unfortunately, things are not so good Captain Ballard. Two bullets," he lectured as routinely as if he were discussing an everyday check up, "one through the clavicle, one through the cranium. The head wound exited cleanly, but there is a lot of swelling and bleeding in the skull. The remaining bullet is traveling and possibly causing nerve damage It's too early to determine what the permanent prognosis will be. He's currently being prepped for surgery so we can circumvent the damage, but it may be awhile before he's out of the woods."
"Well, thanks for being honest with me, but the mayor was hoping for something a little less...ominous. What's the most optimistic thing you can report about his condition? Can we hope for any changes anytime soon?"
"We are hopeful that his vitals will stabilize after the surgery if we can successfully alleviate some, if not most, of the pressure on his brain. However, it's still touch and go at this point. Once the lingering bullet is removed, it'll be more clear what kind of long term effects Mr. Grant is looking at, it's possible that he can come to and completely recover his faculties, with proper rehabilitation."
"Thank you, sir. Oh, and any word on his wife?"
"Examined by emergency responders on the scene, and determined to be physically unharmed. The family waiting room is just around the corner if you'd like to speak with her."
Jake extended his hand, "Once again, thank you for time Dr. McMillan."
* * *
Olivia was mindlessly pacing the room in circles, still clothed in her bloodied attire from the evening. Jake watched her from the doorway for a few moments and she didn't seem to take notice of his presence, her head clearly someplace far away. The despair and worry, amongst other emotions, were playing out on her face as she moved about the room on physical autopilot. He could tell her mind was racing a mile a minute and he felt bad for intruding, but he wanted to talk to her.
"Olivia?" he called out to get her attention.
She finally stopped and acknowledged him, but there was no hint of recognition in her eyes. "Yes?" she responded blankly.
He stepped into the room, "It's me, Jake."
"I know who you are. What are you doing here?"
"I heard about Fitz and I wanted to come see how he was doing. Everyone at City Hall is worried sick. What happened tonight? They're saying it was a carjacking, is that true?"
She flopped dejectedly onto the tan couch that spanned the back wall, "I already told the police everything."
"I know," he prodded softly, "but would you mind telling me?"
"I don't _remember_ anything else," she replied sadly, staring straight ahead.
He crossed the room to sit down beside her, "I'm sorry, now isn't the right time. I won't push."
She turned to look at him and he swore he could feel his heart breaking, "Please tell me this is a bad dream? It has to be. This is not happening?"
"I wish I could tell you that, Olivia, but unfortunately it is. I know it's not much consolation, but the police are going to catch whoever did this and Fitz is going to be okay. I know he is," he tried to convince her as much as himself.
"You don't _know_ that," she shook her head listlessly. "You don't know," she repeated, putting her head in her hands as she began to cry softly.
He wrapped an arm around her trembling shoulders to comfort her, the quivers from her cries sending vibrations up his arm that made his hair stand on end. He tried to pull her closer to him but her body remained stiff, so he moved over to close the distance instead, the scent of her hair filling his nostrils.
_God, she smells amazing,_ he thought to himself, even though he felt like a jackass for noticing at a time like this. The skin on her arms felt like silk beneath his finger tips, and as much as he was trying to fight it, he couldn't help but wonder how it would feel beneath his lips. As if she could sense his inappropriate thoughts, she pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"I'm fine," she mumbled through her sobs.
"You shouldn't be by yourself at a time like this. Do you want me to stay with you?" he offered.
"No, really, I'm fine. I'm okay," she insisted.
"Are you sure? Is there someone I could call-"
"Honestly, it's okay, really. I'm not in the mood for company right now. No offense."
"I understand. We all deal in our different ways. Don't hesitate to call me at any time, for _anything_. I'm a great listener."
"Thanks."
He left her there, kicking himself as he entered the elevator and only realized then that she didn't have his number.
* * *
Huck sat in his room in utter disbelief just as morning was beginning to dawn upon them. He always rose before daybreak, executing army-approved push ups until his mid-section was sore, preferring only the local news for background music. He was no where near close to his limit when a familiar name in the broadcast caused him to freeze mid-crunch.
Huck refused to believe his ears the first time he had heard the newscast, so he listened to the report six times, on four different channels, until it finally sunk in. He held each one in his mind, comparing and contrasting them for disparities that would soothe his rising nausea. However it was getting harder to question the authenticity of the story when each network was reporting the same thing: random carjacking, shooting, Fitz in critical condition and no suspects in custody.
He didn't know whether to feel anxious or relieved that there was little mention of Olivia and part of him wanted to hold out in hopes of hearing more about her. He was praying that it was intentional oversight since her lack of injury wouldn't add to the sensationalism of the story, but he couldn't be sure. Thirty-five minutes had passed when he gave up on getting more detailed information about her and decided it was past time to wake up Harrison. It was clear to him at that point that the news wasn't going to tell him anything more and he couldn't put it off any longer.
Harrison was his partner in crime and he knew him like the back of his hand, but in this matter he was uncertain of what his reaction would be. Olivia was Huck's friend, but she was Harrison's family and closer to a sister than a cousin to him and if she was hurt there was going to be hell to pay.
He followed the familiar route to Harrison's room and knocked on the door, the sound of Harrison's boisterous snores oozing through the walls.
Huck cracked the door, "Yo!" he raised his voice to an urgent level, "Harrison, get up!"
Harrison's snores were broken up by a short grunt as he turned over in his only slightly disturbed slumber.
Huck entered the room and flicked on the light without warning, "Seriously, dude, wake up."
"Huh, what the hell man?" he grumbled sleepily, "what time is it anyway?"
"It's almost six," he huffed back, "we really need to talk."
"And it couldn't wait until after I woke up? What's wrong?"
Huck sighed, "I need you to promise me you'll remain calm."
The sleep vanished from Harrison's voice and he sat up in his bed, "Tell me what happened."
"I'm not really sure how to tell you,-"
"Just give it to me straight."
"It's Fitz. He was jacked last night and got shot. Doesn't sound good. The news is reporting that he's in 'serious' condition."
"_**Shit**_, what about Olivia?!"
"She was with him, but I don't know anything else."
"Shit, do you think-?!"
"If she was hurt, they would've reported it, I suspect. But they really only discussed Fitz."
"Which hospital?"
"Boston General."
"I am going to kill them, whoever is responsible for this shit," he seethed.
"Dead men walking."
"Glad we're on the same page. I know Liv is going crazy right now, she needs us."
"I know, I honestly can't believe this shit. Hurry up and get dressed, we need to get over there, now."
* * *
Olivia wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there in that same position Jake had left her in when she felt firm hands on her shoulder. When he had left she had briefly considered going back to pacing until fresh sobs welled up in her throat, zapping all of her energy.
She wondered what time it was as she looked up, surprised to find light filtering through the blinds and Harrison and Huck now occupying the room alongside her. They were talking, at least their lips were moving, but she couldn't make sense of what they were saying. Her head was spinning. It felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach with steel toed boots and then punched her in the face, and if another person asked her how she was doing she was going to _scream_.
**_Everything_** was wrong and she couldn't imagine how anyone could fix their lips to say things would be okay when her Fitz, her sun and moon, was laying lifelessly on some operating table and no one could tell her when or if he would ever be getting up.
Their voices were drowned out by the sounds of the scene replaying in her head, over and over again.
One minute he was casually pulling over to check out a malfunctioning headlight, the next minute three men were surrounding him. Olivia had tried to get a good look at the car and the guys, but the glare of their high beams in the mirror made it hard to see. Somehow, even though she couldn't hear the conversation, her gut was screaming that something was not right. This was the moment she has been dreading since she had awoke earlier that morning and it was worse than anything she could have imagined.
Before she could think better of it, she was exiting the car and walking towards the group of men. Sitting in the car just _waiting_ was making her feel helpless and she was scared for Fitz out there by himself. There was nothing, physically, she could do to help but she didn't want him to be alone, either. She had tried to ask what was wrong, but his only response was to tell her to get back in the car and she knew it was just a matter of time.
After that everything seemed to happen so quickly. Not more than thirty seconds from her door closing she heard one pop and then another. Olivia flew out of the vehicle towards him, not caring about her own well being. His body was crumpled on the ground and two men were fleeing toward the car that was pulled up behind them. She was confused when she heard the car rev to life and pull off and then saw the lights from Fitz's car taking off behind it.
Olivia didn't have time to focus on that, though, because Fitz was in her arms, bleeding profusely and choking on his own blood. She was holding him, trying to will herself not to panic and keep him from going completely unconscious, but she was failing. She almost panicked when she realized her phone was in the car, but luckily Fitz's phone was in his suit pocket. She dialed 911 as the tears blinded her eyes, praying that the love of her life didn't die in her arms.
She came back into the moment and Huck was watching her quietly and carefully, while Harrison goaded her for answers about the night's happenings.
She knew he was trying to comfort and support her, asking questions to gather information so they could track down the perps, but really she just wanted peace to bask in her sorrow. Harrison usually knew when to back off but the questions were beginning to feel overwhelming and relentless.
"Olivia, look, maybe you should go home? Get a little rest? Change?" Harrison fired off.
"Are you crazy?" she snapped in disbelief.
"Huh?" he asked, clearly taken aback.
"I said, are you _crazy_? My husband is on an operating table, probably about to die, and you're asking me about changing clothes. Does it look like I care about what I'm wearing right now?"
"No."
"Then _**please**_, let me be for just one second. All I need right now is silence, can you please just do that for me?" she rasped.
Harrison sighed and sat back in his seat and Huck averted his gaze, giving her the outer quiet that she needed to deal with the overwhelming loudness inside of her brain.
* * *
An hour later, the doctor informed Olivia that she could see Fitz, but only for a few minutes. She was led into a small, private room, completely still except for the beeping machines that Fitz was hooked up to and dependent upon. She barely recognized him, his head and chest wrapped in bandages and his the rest of his body hidden beneath the hospital sheets.
She numbed herself and took her mind someplace else so she wouldn't buckle and fold onto the cold tiled floor.
"He's still unconscious, Mrs. Grant, but it's okay if you want to touch him, to hold his hand. The surgery was successful in extracting the bullet, but we may need to go back in to follow up."
"When will he wake up?" she managed to squeak out without crying.
"I...we can't predict that, unfortunately. It could be hours, days, or longer. But I promise you that we are doing everything we can and his vitals have improved." She nodded and he continued, "He is under close supervision and will require a high level of care. For that reason we can only allow families to stay in the room for five minutes every hour. As his condition progresses, we can allow you more time. I'll leave you alone with him."
Olivia moved to his bedside and looked down at him, hating how the tubes and wrappings made him look so small and broken. Even with the doctor's blessing she was afraid to touch him for fear of somehow getting entangled in the tubular mess and unhinging something important.
"Baby," she whispered, hoping beyond hope that this was all some long, cruel dream and he would open his eyes and she would wake up.
She grabbed his hand, "Fitz...can you hear me? I'm here and I'm not leaving, I promise baby. Even if I'm not in this room, I'm right down the hall. You're stronger than this, you're gonna make it, _okay_?" she choked out, her tears falling in a torrent onto their intertwined hands. "Please don't leave me, Fitz," she pleaded quietly.
Looking down at him Olivia didn't care if she never ate, showered or slept again, she was _**not**_ leaving, not when any minute could be his last. No, she could never leave him.
* * *
"Hi Quinn, when did you get here?" Olivia asked in a haze, genuinely confused as to when the young woman had appeared beside her.
"About an hour ago. I came Monday morning, and yesterday, too, but you didn't seem much in the mood for conversation."
"Yeah," she replied, turning her eyes back to the linoleum floor.
_Was it really Wednesday?_ she pondered in awe to herself. Olivia was running on fumes. She was so tired and keeping track of the time was the last thing on her mind because her body was reeling from the lack of sleep and stress. One of the guys had gone to her apartment so she could change out of her stained dress, but she still hadn't showered and she had no intentions of moving from her post anytime soon.
That was until she felt a hand gripping hers and she looked up to find Quinn smiling disarmingly sweetly at her, "Come on, let's go grab something to eat downstairs, Liv. Just the two of us."
"Okay," Olivia replied, allowing her take the lead. Now that she thought about it, her last real meal was Sunday night and since then she'd only consumed sweetly flavored cups of coffee and a couple of bananas, all other attempts at eating had failed. Anxiety was currently occupying her stomach and there didn't seem to be room for much else.
The twosome entered the small hospital lunchroom and Olivia grabbed a simple selection of a buttered roll and a bottle of water, hoping she could keep it down.
They sat at the red and blue checkered table quietly, and she could feel Quinn's eyes on her.
"I'm sorry, Olivia," Quinn started.
She sighed, "So am I."
"I know you've been through a lot these past couple of days and I can only imagine what's running through your mind. Fitz is a good person, he didnt deserve that."
Olivia just nodded and picked at her roll.
Quinn leaned in, "I need to tell you something."
Olivia's ears perked up at that, "Something like what?"
"The other day Billy Chambers stopped by Fitz's office without an appointment, demanding to be seen and that has been on my mind. Billy used to have Fitz's job and water cooler talk is that he's super bitter about it. I don't know what happened to cause him to lose his position, but part of me thinks he blames Fitz."
"You think he had something to do with this?"
"I mean, I don't know for sure, but things got heated between them in his office. Voices were raised and the meeting didn't last longer than a few minutes, which really made me wonder. _Nothing_ moves that quickly in politics. Shit, it takes most of the councilmen twenty minutes to decide which side of their bagel they'd like their butter on. But anyways, when he left he completely ignored my presence and I could swear I heard Bill mutter something like, 'he'll learn.'"
Olivia's wheel began to turn, "He was at the banquet that night, too. Right before we left he and Fitz came out of the bathroom within moments of one another. I only remember because I remember wondering why Billy looked so smug and Fitz looked so irritated. Right after that Fitz decided we should leave instead of waiting for the closing remarks.I wonder if they spoke to each other."
"Suspicious as hell! See, I didn't know what to do with the information, but I'm glad I came to you. I considered going to the cops, but I thought they would laugh at me but I thought you should know. Not everything is as it seems, and I want you to be safe."
After talking with Quinn, Olivia felt suddenly claustrophobic. She needed to get out from the white walls of the hospital, her head was spinning and she needed to lay down.
* * *
As soon as they crossed the threshold to the apartment Olivia regretted her decision of coming there. She was overwhelmed by the smell of his scent still lingering in the air, the sight of a pair of his shoes discarded by the door, the fire red couch that he loved so much, his framed painting on the wall. It was too much, it was choking her. She opened her mouth to speak but felt the tears welling up in her eyes and the sobs choking her throat. She left Huck standing in the living room as she rushed down the hall to their bedroom, closing the door forcefully behind herself to escape.
Except it was worse here. The light blue tie he had originally planned to wear was strewn across the bed, reminding her of the blue of his eyes that she might never see again. Olivia knew she was in desperate need of a shower because she hadn't had one in almost seventy-two hours, but she was afraid of the feelings that being in their bathroom would drudge up and she was barely able to keep the tears at bay as it stood.
In many ways, it seemed like her whole life had begun in that bathroom: it was where she had first ever touched him, the place where they had kissed for the first time, where his marriage proposal had taken place.
She looked in the mirror and saw herself crying and was angry with herself. She _knew_ it had been too good to be true, that someone like Fitz could love someone like her and they would live happily ever after. Impossible. She should have known the bottom was going to fall out sooner than later, it _always_ did.
* * *
Huck was staring at the ceiling instead of sleeping and trying to clear his head. It had been a long few days and he was feeling a mix of emotions which bothered him. He was used to being numb but a sense of sadness was awakened in him in that hospital. Olivia and Harrison were the closest people to him, and now Fitz was a part of that circle too, and someone had violated his circle. That was uacceptable.
When Huck had first met the older man he didn't trust him and his initial determination was that the guy was way too old for Olivia. Knowing this, he had searched and searched for Fitz's ulterior motive, but found none. Seeing the two of them together he realized that Fitz actually truly loved her and was willing to do whatever it took to protect her and keep her happy, so he softened to the man. Olivia had gone through a lot and Huck felt she deserved someone who loved her unconditionally, and Fitz seemed to be that guy.
The more time the four all spent together, he and Harrison had come to agree that Fitz was one of the good guys. As much as he abhorred small talk, he felt comfortable in his presence, and liked having him around. He was family now. And someone had tried to kill him.
Huck could tell that Olivia was on the brink of losing it and he was worried for her mental health. Another thing that was bothering him was the way the whole incident was being spun in the media. Something stunk and he planned to leave no stone unturned. _Someone_, in fact he bet a number of someones, was going to pay.
But for now he was trying to think of a way to push Olivia's sobs that were coming from down the hallway back from the forefront of his consciousness, but he was failing. She had been weeping uncontrollably since the door had closed behind her over three hours ago. He wanted to give her space to grieve, but he also wasn't sure how much longer he could listen to her cries before he lost it.
Huck got up and started off down the hallway towards the room, hoping he would be able to find the right words to comfort her. He knocked but got only more sobs for a response, so he opened the door. Olivia was balled up in one corner of the bed, crying into what appeared to be one of Fitz's t-shirts.
He laid on the bed beside her and the words came out before he could think about them. "When I was a kid, my family lived in a huge green house on the end of our street. We had a pool, so I thought we were rich. There were six of us altogether, including my mom and dad, and I was the youngest for a long time. When I was seven, my parents told me we were having a baby and I was so excited. My dad told me I was going to have a little sister now, and as a big brother it was going to be my job to protect her. They named her Annabelle after my maternal grandmother. I can still remember the day she was born."
"When they brought her home she was so tiny and little and perfect. I was nervous but they let me hold her. I never knew what he did, my father, but he would go away for work for weeks at a time, often, so I tried to help...changing diapers, watching her while my mom showered, just basic stuff. If she was crying she would always stop when I sang to her. She was perfect."
"A couple of weeks after my eighth birthday, my dad came home after being away for over a month. He usually brought gifts and laughter and cheer to the house after being gone for so long, but this time was way different. He seemed visibly tense and nervous. He just up and told us we were moving in two days, no warning. The worst part was that the girls were going to be leaving with my mom and us boys were supposed to go stay with my grandparents. I was _so_ angry- I screamed, I threw a tantrum, broke things. I didn't _want_ to be split up and I didn't understand why we had to be, but no one seemed to care how I felt about it."
"The day before we were set to depart, I was playing with Anna upstairs in her crib and I heard a commotion in the living room. Door slams open, screaming, popping noises, more screaming. I heard people on the steps and I went into panic mood. Rolled under the small space beneath the crib and pressed myself up against the wall. I could hear them moving through the adjacent bedrooms, trashing things, and I was sure that they were gonna bypass us. But then she started crying. Before I could blink the men were busting in the room and in my eight year old mind, I thought, no way anyone would hurt a _baby_. Maybe me, but not a baby girl, she couldn't even _talk_ yet...Next thing I heard was a pop and then her crying stopped."
Olivia looked at him in horror, her eyes wide with shock. She was unable to find words to speak so he just continued,"I could hear them on their walkie talkies, screaming 'there's supposed to be one more, there's supposed to be one more,' but they were running out of time."
Huck sighed, "I laid under that bed for what felt like an eternity after they had long been gone. I don't know what scared me more, the thought that they might still be in the house laying in wait to kill me, or having to face my baby sister's dead body. I'm not sure how much time elapsed until the police came, but I know it was dark and I was soaked in piss. I'll never forget the stench of the blood and urine melding together in the air."
"Anyway, they took me to the precinct where I was turned over to some guy who said he was a coworker of my father's and he told me the real deal. My dad was CIA and he had infiltrated a terrorist cell and been discovered. The higher ups told him he was on his own to deal with fall out and boom. My whole family gone. He took pity on me, though, convinced them to put me in protective custody because they knew the guys would come looking to tie up loose ends. As long as anyone knew who I was and who my father was, I would never be safe. Unfortunately that 'anyone' included me, so before I could be placed with a family I had to be "re-educated," which basically amounts to being brainwashed."
"I don't know what they did, or how they did it, or for how long, but I can't recall my family's faces, no matter how hard I try. I couldn't tell you what street, or city, or state that green house was in. I know Huck isn't my real name, but for the life of me, I couldn't tell you what my birth name was. I don't even remember my brothers' and sisters' names, except for Annabelle. As hard as they tried, I could never, _ever_ forget her, and every night, whether I have a dream or a nightmare, I hear the shot that killed her. _Every. Night."_
"Huck- I'm sorry, I-"
"Olivia, I'm not telling you feel sorry for me, or to make it a competition to see whose had the harder life. Just know that in some ways, I understand. Since the day we met I could always see the sadness in you. Loss has a way of damaging us, irrevocably. People will tell you it's going to be okay, but it won't, and it may not ever be. Harrison is used to being your rock and fixing you, but on a fundamental level, he can't relate to people like us. He doesn't know what it's like to wake up one day and have the rug ripped out from beneath you. To have everything you know and love taken from you in a second and be completely powerless. To be completely shattered and have to try to put yourself back together again. Hopefully, he never will. As much as he hates his parents, they're alive, and they're his to hate. If he changes his mind, he has the option. But for you and I, this little circle is all we have, so we have to protect it. Protect them. Those who haven't lived it will never understand."
She nodded, "I don't know if I can take losing him, Huck."
"You can't and you won't. Fitz is a fighter and he is in the hospital fighting for his life, and we can't give up on him. I won't let you give up on him. It's too late for me and I'm okay with that, but you, Olivia, you've got a chance. Don't let life turn you cold. Don't succumb to the darkness and let it break you. It's not over til it's over. You have to channel it or it will destroy you."
"Is that why you do what you do?" she asked.
"I think so. When I'm..._fixing_, I feel alive. Not the mind numbing coldness that I've had to employ to keep life from destroying me. Sometimes it feels like I'm chasing ghosts. I know I'll probably never find the people who murdered my family, so I'm content to take out assholes like them. I wonder sometimes, who would I have been if I had never heard that shot? It would have still hurt, but somehow I think I could have recovered more normally. I guess it doesn't matter any more, though. Tell me something, Liv, do you think what happened Sunday night was about the car?"
"No, definitely not."
"Me neither. Whatever is going on, this is deeper than what meets the eye, and I want to handle these motherfuckers. They can't get away with this."
"Me too, but I don't know where to start. The police-"
"Man, fuck the police. They're in on it, too, I bet. They should have already been all up and through here, and in Fitz's office, checking everything to see if there's even the slightest possibility that someone had it out for him. A shot to the head and chest sounds premeditated, not really like grand theft auto gone wrong. But they're fixated on framing it this way and there's a reason why. Someone is giving the orders to run with this carjacking story, it's on every channel. It's _too_ streamlined. They did the same thing with my family, said it was a burglary. _Somebody_ has something to hide and I want to find out what."
"Me too."
He nodded, "I thought you would. Is Fitz's laptop here?"
"He has one here and one at work, too."
"We need to get our hands on that computer. Do you know what he was last working on?Anything out of the ordinary?"
"He was pushing for a block against this company trying to backdoor some land from Harvard through the city. You know, Quinn says she heard something strange, too. A guy named Billy Chambers came into his office and he was being hostile, walked out looking pissed. She has access down there and she's good with computers...she might be willing to help us."
"Can we trust her?"
"My gut is telling me yes, but I don't know for sure."
"I would trust your gut."
* * *
When Olivia opened the door, Quinn was smiling nervously at her and her boyfriend was behind her. "Hey Liv, I hope you don't mind me bringing Stephen along? He knows a few things I thought could be of use to us."
"Sure, it's totally fine."
She led the couple to the sofa where Huck and Harrison were already sitting, "Okay, so before we get started, I just wanted to say thank you guys for being here for me. I know I haven't been very outwardly responsive, but I don't know where I would be right now without you all. It really means a lot to me. We're all here meeting because we care about Fitz and we know in our hearts this attack was not a carjacking, nor was it random. Unfortunately, Fitz has landed in someone's political crosshairs and whoever he pissed off wanted him gone by any means necessary. Luckily for us, Fitz is strong and fighting for his life, but I want to do something about these murderers and bring them down. It's clear that the police are either in their pocket or extremely obtuse and will not let go of this car angle, so that's why we're here. Quinn, do you want to tell everyone what you overheard?"
"Okay, well, first thing's first, I was able to access Fitz's office and collect the laptop in question," she handed the computer to Olivia who passed it to Huck. "The Friday before the banquet, Billy Chambers came by Fitz's office requesting to be seen without an appointment and when they were talking it sounded heated. I didn't hear anything specific, but my instinct is telling me that he has something to do with it. I'm pretty sure I heard him mumble 'he'll learn,' on his way out."
"I'm gonna jump in here," Stephen spoke up, "because I know a little something about City Hall. My masters is in Public Policy and Urban Planning, and I have spent quite a lot of time down there. I was really interested to see the security side of public policy, and how that affects the flow. Anywho, one of the dopey guards opened the wrong door by mistake and I saw a room full of screens, footage not of public spaces, but offices. I only got a quick look, but I'm willing to bet all of them are under surveillance, even the mayor. I got to know the dope a little bit better since it piqued my interest and after a few drinks the guy gave me the scoop. Apparently, the NSA has new software called Thorngate which is currently being employed in all the major government offices across the nation and god only knows where else, or why. But I was thinking, if somehow we can hack the system, Billy and Fitz's meeting should be on there and we can see what really went down, amongst other things."
"Wow, this is serious shit," Harrison huffed. "Sounds like some Orwellian, 1984 type shit. Huck do you think you could handle that?"
"I think so, but who knows how long it could take, especially with government level firewalls and coding, it could be days, weeks even to crack it."
"I could help," Quinn spoke up, "I've been hacking since I was ten, not this level of stuff, but I'm willing to learn. If you want an extra set of eyes and ears."
Huck eyed her curiously for a second as if he were wondering if she would be a hindrance instead of a help, "Okay, fine. Liv, do you mind if we work in Fitz's study?"
"Not at all, while you guys are doing that, the three of us can do some digging on Billy and this vote Fitz was working on. If we can find some kind of connection there, we can be sure we're not wasting time looking into the surveillance cameras."
Harrison grabbed the documents assigned to him, "I'm gonna take these back to my post at the hospital. I'll be back to get you in a couple hours, Liv," and at that Huck and Quinn started off down the hall and Stephen began flipping through the papers.
"Harrison?" she called out after him as he moved to gather his jacket and scarf.
"Yeah?"
"I...I wanted to apologize. I snapped at you at the hospital and I shouldn't have. I know you were just trying to help."
"Already forgotten, Liv. I know how you operate and I was being pushy when I should've backed off. It's nothing. I love Fitz too and I was worried, scared, all that. I tried to jump into gladiator mode to avoid feeling helpless."
She smiled, "Fitz loves you too, Harrison."
"We're not going to let these assholes get away with this. With all of us working together, it's only a matter of time. Once we find out who was driving that car, or get that footage, I know it won't be long."
"Speaking of cars, I was wondering if you could help me with something?"
"Anything, what's up?"
"Well, my cell was in the car when the guys took off, so I kinda need someone to take me to get a new one."
"For sure, whenever you're in the mood to go."
"One more thing, though. Since Fitz's car is God knows where, I was wondering if you could maybe help me get another one?"
"Another what? A _car_?" he rasped in disbelief.
"Yeah," she gave him a crooked smile.
"For Fitz, or for you?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"For me, silly."
"I thought you didn't do cars?"
"I don't. I didn't. But desperate times call for desperate measures. As much as you guys are a great support system, I know you all have your own lives and stuff. It's unfair to expect you guys to play the role of my personal chauffeur, especially when we don't have a timeline on his recovery. I hope Fitz's condition improves, but whether it does or doesn't, I need to be there at the hospital and able to get back and forth at a moment's notice, _independently_."
"Look at my Liv, all grown up. Wish it was under better circumstances, but this is a good move. We're gonna have you whipping around like a boss in no time," he grinned.
* * *
Over the next four days the group fell into somewhat of a routine. Olivia was super appreciative of how the four of them had effectively put their lives on hold to support her in her time of need. Although she still spent the bulk of her time at the hospital, she felt less guilty leaving to shower, rest and research for a few hours out of the day, knowing that Huck, Harrison, Quinn or Stephen would be there in her place in case anything happened.
Even so, for as much as she willed herself, she found it impossible to sleep for more than an hour and had completely given up on attempting to occupy their bedroom. Everything in there was him and it was just too hard, emotionally. She hated the way the bed seemed to swallow her up without Fitz in it. One of the crew was always home with her, so she took her catnaps in the living room, feeling less lonely and vulnerable in their presence.
This particular morning Harrison and Stephen were at the hospital and Huck and Quinn were locked up in Fitz's study. Huck liked the heavy drapes that closed out the sunshine and the two of them seemed to lose track of the time as they hammered away at the complex coding of the government software. Huck had brought over and set up five of his own computers and the two of them took breaks pretty much only to eat and visit Fitz.
Olivia was fifteen minutes into her nap when she heard the unusual sound of Huck's voice raised in cheer, "**_WE'RE IN! WE'RE IN_**!"
She heard the study door fly open and Quinn's voice ring out down the hallway, "_**OLIVIAAA! GREEN LIGHT, COMEEE!"**_
She was bolting down the hallway at lightning speed and when she entered the room Huck was expertly punching the keyboard so quickly that she wasn't sure how he could be certain he was pressing the correct buttons.
"You guys are in?!" Olivia exclaimed in disbelief.
"Yup, now, Quinn read me the date/time code sequence for Fitz's office."
Quinn read off the numbers and Olivia saw Huck's face screw up quizzically when the screen flashed to Fitz reading instead of meeting with Billy like they knew he had been at the time.
"What the hell?" he mumbled, punching in the sequence again. "It's not here, it's not fucking here."
"Here, try this," Quinn read off another code, "it's an hour beforehand."
As soon as the last of the numbers were entered, Fitz popped up on the screen, reading papers over in earnest and sipping a bottle of water. It was like the twilight zone to see him on the monitor, peaceful and serene, completely unawares of how his life was going to be turned upside down in the days to follow.
"Fast forward," Olivia requested, the sight of Fitz making her sick with sadness.
They watched the tapes and the stills moved seamlessly, but the three of them kept their eyes glued to the numbers on the bottom right hand side of the screen.
"It's been erased," Quinn declared while pointing at the monitor, "the time stamp jumps ahead thirty minutes after he turns the page on the document he was reading. Whoever does the archives is good, if you weren't looking for it, you'd never even notice."
"Shit, now what?"
"Now, we know we're on the right path. No one would go through the hassle of deleting and threading scenes together unless there was something to hide, something people might look into."
"We should go to the hospital, catch the boys up on what we've learned and reformulate the plan."
"Okay, just give me like ten, fifteen minutes. I really should try to do something with my hair, I'm sure it hates me after what I've been putting it through."
"Bet," Huck replied, "I'm gonna run to the Starbucks across the street and go get the car warmed up. I'll pull it around and you can meet me down there. You coming with me, Quinn?"
"Sure."
"Alright, Liv, we'll be right in front of the Starbucks."
"Sounds like a plan."
Olivia was five minutes into her hair when the intercom went off. She ran to answer it, thinking it must've been Quinn or Huck who had forgotten something in their haste.
Olivia pressed the button and spoke into the mic, "Yes?"
"I have a Captain Jake Ballard to see you, Mrs. Grant."
_Terrible timing_, she groaned to herself. "Thank you, Hal, you can send him up," she conceded, not wanting to be rude to Fitz's friend.
* * *
Jake had butterflies in his stomach as he ascended in the elevator. He had spent over a half an hour at the florist agonizing over choosing the perfect flowers. He wanted to select something special and out of the ordinary, something as beautiful, and unforgettable as Olivia was to him.
When he laid eyes on the oddly shaped, orange and blue petals, he knew they were perfect for her. It wasn't much, but he hoped it would at least make her smile for a moment, a small escape from her sadness. He had wanted to see her again before now and had tried, but after that first night she was never alone again. He had discovered that the two young men flanking her were a cousin and friend, but he was uncomfortable making his presence known to them. He knew they were friendly with Fitz, and him showing up with flowers would probably set off alarms, and he didn't need that.
It was just Jake's luck that he hadn't given up lurking across the street in his car long enough to catch the friend and Fitz's assistant crossing the street to Starbucks. He moved quickly, not wanting to chance missing this opportunity.
Now, he was nervous. _What if she doesn't like them? Or worse, sees right through me and tells me off for pushing up on her while she's vulnerable? Too late to turn back now,_ he reminded himself.
As the door to the elevator opened, he could see she was at the door waiting for him, her eyes immediately drawn to the beautiful bouquet he had in hand. "Hi Jake, I wasn't expecting you," her tone indicating that it was more of a question than a statement.
"Oh um, I'm sorry, I happened to be in the neighborhood. I would have called first but I don't have your number. I just wanted to see how you were holding up. I brought these for you," he offered the flowers out to her. "May I come in for a sec?"
"Wow, for me? Thank you, they're absolutely beautiful. Come on in, I've never seen these before, what are they called?" she asked over her shoulder as he followed her in and closed the door.
"They're called Bird of Paradise," he replied watching her ass as she stretched on her toes to place the floral arrangement on a shelf. "I'm glad you like them. It's not much, but my mom always said beautiful flowers lift the spirits. How are you feeling?"
"I'm doing okay, as best as can be expected I guess. It's really stressful and scary, but I'm hoping for the best and trying to be positive."
"Good. I know Fitz, he's strong and he's going to pull through. I can feel it."
She gave him a weak smile, "I hope you're right. Thanks for checking up on me, and for the flowers, I appreciate it."
He stepped closer and gazed at her knowingly, "It's my pleasure. I'm spending a lot of time at City Hall, things are hectic, but just know that if you need anything, you can call me. _Anytime_."
She sighed, "Well, what I really need is for Fitz to wake up and hold me, but I don't think you can do that, huh?"
He tried not to groan audibly, "No, Olivia, unfortunately not."
She paused for a second and he could see her wheels turning. "Are you sure there's nothing else?" he asked hopefully.
She shifted on her feet, "Umm, there is one thing, but actually, on second thought, I probably shouldn't ask."
"What?" the hope rose up in him again, "Why shouldn't you?"
"It's highly inappropriate, just forget that I said anything."
"Olivia, you can ask me anything. What's up?"
"Okay, it's just...You manage the security administration down there at City Hall, right?"
"Right."
"So you're aware of the audio/video surveillance software called Thorngate installed in every office?"
He crossed his arms, "Olivia, _how_ exactly do you know about that?"
"Not important, I just do. What I really need to know is if there are physical copies of the footage or is what exists in the digital archives all?"
"Olivia-"
"Jake, yes or no?"
He sighed, "Every day someone from the team reviews the previous day's data, which is encoded on a disk. Any damaging or confidential contents are deleted before it's added to the digital archives, but the captures do exist in it's original form on the hard drive. Only a few people have access to it."
"Do you?"
"You should tell me what this is all about before I give you anymore information."
"There is footage of Fitz's office missing from the digital archives from a meeting he took with Billy Chambers. I don't know why, but it's been erased, and I need that video."
"What? How the hell did you even _get_ into the digital network? That's federally created and encrypted software, the database is monitored by the NSA, _no one_ should be able to hack that. This is a major breach of homeland security, who are you working with?" he demanded.
She sighed, "I knew I shouldn't have asked. Never mind. Look, someone is actually waiting for me downstairs, I should go."
Jake froze. He knew if he left it like this between them she would never call him, things would be awkward and he wouldn't have an excuse to see her again, alone. He knew what he had to do. He breathed deeply before speaking, "Look if I do this, no one can ever find out, like, _ever_. _**Not**_ even Fitz."
She smiled and his heart began to flutter, "Oh my god, seriously? You would do that for me?"
"Yeah, sure, but just this once and after this we can never discuss this again. I would be in the hospital next if anyone ever found out. That's how serious it is. The National Security Administration is not a joke."
"I promise you, this is between us. I won't tell a soul. Shake on it?"
He smiled, taking her hand in his, "Deal."
His spirits were flying high from the sensation of her skin between his and the idea of there being a secret between just the two of them, something not even Fitz could share. He smirked, "I'll be in touch."
* * *
Olivia entered the hospital room for what felt like the millionth time. She should have been used to it already, the sight of him laying there motionless, but it still broke her heart every time.
Initially, she'd been granted only five minutes to visit with him each hour, which was torturously short. Over the course of the days, however, as his vitals slightly improved, she'd been given more time. Now, she was up to twenty minutes undisturbed, and his latest room change seemed to be for the better.
This room was a little less dreary than the last two, the pale gray walls a welcomed change from the stark, sterile white that reminded her eerily of nothingness and death. His window also allowed for direct sunlight, and the bright winter rays that poked through the venetian blinds made her mood a little less sad and a little more hopeful.
Some of the bandages had been cut away so that Fitz's hair was free for her to run her fingers through, and it felt like heaven to the touch. His usually conservative mane was now longer than she had ever seen it, but she liked it. It was human and distinct in this world of grays, blues and whites which dominated the hospital. No matter how unconscious he was, his body was still functioning and fighting, and his wild hair was symbolic of that.
She hated that the nurses pulled the covers so close about his neck, making him look so small and scared, but in the sunlight it wasn't so bad because it almost looked like he was sleeping.
There was a small space on the bed on his uninjured side and before she could stop herself she was crawling into it, she needed to feel him. She picked up his good arm and wrapped it around herself, trying to simulate his usual strong embrace. It was nowhere near close, but it was better than nothing, after missing his closeness for what felt like forever.
Her body moulded to his naturally, filling in the gaps so that where he ended, she began. She looked up at him, his eyelids shut tight, and stroked his eyelashes lightly. So many nights she had watched him sleep, the beautiful auburn hairs fluttering lightly in his dreams.
"I need you to come back to me, Fitz," she whispered to him. "I'm trying, I'm _really_ trying to be strong, but I need you so bad it hurts." She placed her hand over his heart, "Our story only just got started, you can't leave me now. I'm supposed to give you eight babies, remember?" She felt the tears flowing involuntarily but it felt peaceful as she was drifting in his arms. "You promised me forever, Fitz, you _promised_ me," she whispered in a hushed voice as she fell asleep.
* * *
Fitz woke up gasping for air and completely lost. He felt like he had been dreaming for years, and the last thing he remembered from the nightmare was that he was drowning in a red sea. His heart was racing and he felt scared. He blinked his eyes and tried to place himself, _Where the hell am I?_
He tried to swallow but there were foreign objects in his throat obstructing it. He moved his head slowly to look down at the pressure on his right hand side and it was Olivia. His heart slowed a bit, comforted by the sight of her sleeping in his arms. She was snoring lightly, which meant that she was exhausted, the bags under her eyes attesting to the fact. She must've been beyond tired if she was able to fall asleep in such an awkward position. He felt a pang of guilt when he saw the dried tear marks on her cheeks because he knew he had been the cause. He ran his fingers up and down her arm, wanting to wake her without startling her. She murmured and wriggled closer to him and he smiled.
He gave her arm a squeeze and her breathing changed so he knew she was rousing even though her eyes weren't open yet. Just as he did that the door was opening to reveal the doctor and his nurses coming in.
"Mr. Grant," he smiled, "you're awake."
The commotion caused by the footsteps and voices finally woke Olivia, and she stared down at his hand clasping her arm curiously, clearly in disbelief. She looked at the staff and doctors who pointed at Fitz and she looked up at him hesitantly.
"Fitz?" her eyes were as wide as saucers.
He nodded and tried to speak but it was garbled and the doctor spoke instead, "We'll need to remove those tubes before he'll be able to speak much. Mrs. Grant, would you mind giving us a few minutes to run some tests, and then he's all yours?"
Fitz answered and performed everything the doctors wanted in record time so he could have his Livi back, and minutes later she reappeared. She stared at him from the doorway as if she was seeing a ghost.
"Come," he said as he motioned to the bed and she was on him in moments. He wrapped his good arm as tightly as he could around her waist and she began sobbing into his chest.
"I was so scared, Fitz, I thought...I thought I'd never see your eyes again, or your smile, or hear your laugh. I thought I lost you," she wept.
"It's okay, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I'm right here Livi, and I promise you, nothing can keep me from you," he whispered into her hair before pulling her face from his chest so he could kiss away her tears.
* * *
Fitz hated the hospital and the two long weeks he had been contained to his bed for was beginning to make him stir crazy. They were treating him like an invalid and it was driving him mad. On top of the fact that the menu was already limited, they always managed to screw up his order somehow, like putting in onions when he specifically requested none, or slathering ketchup on his eggs and other petty mistakes that, in the grand scheme of things shouldn't have enraged him as much as it did, but when you can't move, every bit of volition feels crucial. He was bored of television and not being able to get around was making him snappy at the nurses. It wasn't in his nature to go off on people, but he couldn't seem to help it.
When Olivia was around, it was easy to be in a good mood, but visiting hours were only from eight to eight, some of which she had to leave during for class and things, so he was frustrated. He had an odd inkling that she was spending nights in the family waiting room instead of going home because she was always there bright and early, but he didn't ask. He was happy that she was there with him, but he was beginning to worry about her rest and well being.
She had already came to sit with him for a couple of hours that morning, but it was noon when she reappeared in his room, smiling, "Hey baby, how you feeling?" she asked.
"Hey sweetheart, I missed you," he grinned up at her as she ran her fingers through his hair. "How was class?" he inquired innocently.
Her smile vanished, "I didn't go."
He moved over to make room for her small frame and patted the space beside him on the bed, "Why not?"
"Babe, I'm just totally losing steam. I tossed and turned all night and I was just so tired when the alarm went off, I felt like I had just fallen asleep. There was supposed to be a quiz today that I knew I wasn't prepared for, so I just skipped class entirely."
"Baby-"
"I know, I know, it was dumb."
"Livi, no, don't feel dumb. You're just tired. You've been through a lot these past few weeks and you need rest. I know you love me babe, you don't have to come here everyday and spend all your free time here. I won't be upset. I know you need time to sleep and study. This part of the semester can be crazy and you should be focusing on that. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Maybe if you talk to your professor he'll let you take a makeup later this week."
"I was thinking about something," she gazed at him seriously, stroking his cheek.
"Something like what?" he asked, leaning in to kiss her.
She breathed in deep and brushed her lips against his lightly, "Like taking the rest of the semester off from school."
Fitz pulled back sharply, "What? Why would you do that?"
"Because I want to take you home."
"Olivia, _**no**_. Absolutely not."
"Fitz-"
"Livi, there's no way I could ask you to do that. _No_."
"Well, you didn't ask me, I _want_ to do this. I've missed so much in school the past couple weeks, there's no way I can catch up and finish up the way I want to because my head is not in it. You're not happy here, Fitz, you think I don't see it? I want you home, but someone needs to be there with you, and I don't want it to be a stranger."
"It would be a trained health professional, that's not the same as a random stranger off of the street," he countered.
"I talked to some of the people here and our living room would work fine for a rehab specialist to come and work with you during the week if we move the furniture around, so instead of doing it here, you can just come home next week. Everything else I can help you with, we don't _need_ someone else. Believe me, I asked."
"I am not about to let you drop out of school so you can be my home attendant, Livi."
"Babe, it's one semester. I'm not dropping out, plenty of people take time off, for various reasons. It's not the end of the world for me. If everything works out, maybe I can take classes during the summer and extra credits next year to still graduate on time. But whatever the case, I don't care if I have to stay in school a little bit longer, it's more than worth it to me."
"Honey, I just, I don't feel right about this," he shook his head to illustrate his displeasure.
"Let me do this for you Fitz, for _us_. It's one small sacrifice, and you've made so many for me." She took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead, then his nose, then his lips, "In sickness and in health, do you remember that part?"
"Of course I do," he whispered.
"Then come home with me, _please_. I don't want to be without you anymore. Don't make me beg," she gave him a small smile and she could see him softening to the idea.
"Are you serious about this?" he asked tentatively.
"I couldn't be any more serious if I tried. Harrison is helping me find a car so that I can get you back and forth to your appointments and anything else you'll need. I've got a list of the best physical therapists in the city that I'm working through, and now all I need is for you to say yes."
"But baby, you hate to drive."
"I do, but I'm going to get over it. I need you, Fitz, tell me you need me, too."
"I need you, baby, more than anything," he replied without hesitation.
"Then we're going home," she smiled.
* * *
**A/N: okay, hope it wasn't tooo long! Tell me you think! Is Olivia doing the right thing by putting herself on hold? Asking Jake for favors? I love hearing your reactions lol!**
22. Intentions
Olivia woke up to the smell of bacon permeating her consciousness. "Fitz?" she murmured absentmindedly, in her sleepy haze she associated the smell with him and in her mind's eye, she could see him in the kitchen whipping up his favorite food. She laid there contentedly, a smile playing on her lips as she imagined him moving through the kitchen until she heard the deep grumble of laughter that she knew didn't belong to Fitz and reality set back in that he was not here.
_Was that Huck laughing like that?_ she thought incredulously as she yawned and finally opened her eyes, _what in the world_? She looked at the time: **7:22**; it was still early but she actually felt somewhat well rested. Even though she had only slept about four hours, it was progress. Before Fitz had awoke from his unconscious state, Olivia could only manage cat naps at best, but now she was able to sleep at least part way through the night undisturbed.
It made her feel a little crazy when she thought about how much his presence and wellbeing truly affected her. From the outside looking in, she knew it probably seemed pathetic, but her body just couldn't seem to fully relax without him and it was beginning to take a toll on her. It amazed her how even if she was wide awake and wired, when Fitz wrapped his arms around her waist and draped his hands protectively over her ass she could fall asleep without an issue. She had dreamt of his embrace often, of resting her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat as he kissed her forehead, and whispered that he loved her when he thought she had already fallen asleep.
It frightened her to think how much she had grown to need and want him. Being without him for so long made her feel naked and created a sense of loneliness in her that pervaded everything. He was her best friend, her confidant, her lover her everything and no matter how much time she spent at the hospital, it didn't compare to having him home.
If someone would have told Olivia a year ago she would fall for someone as deeply as she had fallen for Fitz, she would have laughed at them because she always imagined herself as the antithesis to the falling head over heels type. And if someone would have told her she would be married before graduation, she would have told them to get their head checked. But here she was and she didn't regret a moment. Even with all the craziness she had been through in her life, she would gladly go through it again if she knew it would lead her to him.
Olivia sat up and began thinking of a timeline for the day. She figured that if they could get out of the door by eight-thirty or nine, she could take her time shopping around and still be able to spend most of the day with Fitz. She had talked over possibilities with him, but she still had no idea what exactly what kind of vehicle she wanted, so she hoped one would just attract her eye and make it easy.
Harrison knew the car market well and fancied himself a top tier negotiator, so she was counting on him to get her the best deal possible. She was nervous to be making such a large purchase, but she knew it would be worth every cent to make the transition home as smooth as possible for Fitz. Harrison had been taking her out on the road to practice her skills and she was getting into the swing of taking charge of the wheel. She had avoided having any accidents or close calls, so her confidence was soaring.
Olivia looked around the living room and smiled at the sight of Harrison balled up on the opposite couch and Huck and Quinn's laptops left abandoned in the middle of the floor. This was her crew, minus Stephen who actually had a full-time job he had to report to during the day, and they had become fixtures in her home. Harrison, Huck and Quinn had been living and breathing the case, and the apartment was their base, so they often stayed and worked there when she wasn't home.
Since Fitz was going to be back in the house soon, they were transitioning to set up shop at Huck and Harrison's, but in the meantime they were happy to keep her company and make themselves at home. Olivia was glad for it, as she was pretty sure she would've had a nervous breakdown if she had had to be at home alone for the past few weeks.
It lifted her spirits to return home to smiling faces after spending so many somber hours at the hospital. She had come to be a well known face to the resident staff in Fitz's wing and had picked up on the schedules and idiosyncrasies of the various nurses who had grown to like and empathize with her. Depending on which nurse was on duty, she would hang out in the overnight lounge, hours after eight o'clock had long passed and talk with them. After awhile a few of them had begun letting her sit with him overnight. Fitz was administered a higher dosage of medication at night so that pain wouldn't wake him up out of his sleep so he didn't even know she was there, but it made her feel better to see him and be sure he was okay.
No matter how many times the doctors told her he was projected to make a full recovery, she couldn't stop herself from worrying about him. So she sat there, watching him sleep and running her fingers through his hair when he murmured in his medicated slumber. When her favorite nurse, an older woman named Janet, was there on duty in the unit she could even climb in the bed and sleep with him until daybreak. Those were the only nights she felt at peace. Nevertheless, he was coming home in six days and then that wouldn't be a concern for her any longer. She was counting the hours until he would be hers, fully, again.
Olivia got up and stretched, then walked into the kitchen quietly, taking in the sight of Huck and Quinn cooking and whispering together in front of the stove. They hadn't taken notice of her yet so she watched them from afar, beaming as she observed them interacting organically as if they'd been knowing each other for years. She could tell Huck was smiling and he seemed more at ease than usual.
"Hey guys," she interrupted, finally making her presence known.
Quinn jumped a few inches from Huck, "_**Oh**_! Didn't see you there, you scared me. Morning, Liv!"
Huck turned to face Olivia reluctantly and his smile was gone, "You hungry?"
"Yeah, I think so," she responded, trying to figure out why they were being so weird.
"We're almost done, you should wake Harrison," Quinn suggested and Olivia took the opportunity to retreat from the awkward situation.
She walked over to the couch and chuckled at the sight of Harrison; he had changed positions so that he was now sprawled out on the sofa, one arm was thrown over the edge and was grazing the floor.
Olivia sat on his back, "_Harryyyy_," she sang out to wake him up because she knew it irritated him.
"Awwww, come _on_. Kill that noise. Get off of me, what time is it?" he whined.
"It's _morninnnggg_," she responded evasively, knowing that if she gave him the exact hour and minute he would beg for more time to sleep. "Get up, Huck and Quinn made breakfast for us. Brush your teeth buck, we have to get this day started!"
"_Someone's_ in a good mood. I'm coming, I'm coming, just get off my back, literally."
Minutes later the foursome was enjoying a breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon alongside Quinn's signature strawberry crêpes.
"Wow, you **really** put your foot in these crêpes, Quinn," Harrison exclaimed and she giggled in response. "So, you ready to pick some wheels today, Liv?" he asked.
"Ready like Freddy! I have a good feeling about today. Huck, Quinn, you guys wanna come with?"
The pair cast a fleeting glance at each other before Huck spoke up, "Nah, we're gonna hang back and work, right, Quinn?"
"Umm-hmm," Quinn agreed through a mouth full of orange juice, "yeah we have a hot lead on Billy and his connection to Tyne INC, we shouldn't lose any time on that!"
"Oh, well, Liv and I will only be a couple hours or so, if you guys wanna come I'll help out when we get back. Three heads are better than two," Harrison countered as he began piling more bacon on his plate.
"_No_!" They both replied in unison, causing Harrison and Olivia both to furrow their brows at each other.
"You guys just pick something great, okay?" Quinn followed up, "send us a pic when you find the one!"
* * *
Olivia's initial good feeling about the day increased enormously when she checked the weather report and saw that it was projected to be unusually warm, in the high 50's with a strong sun. Spring was right around the corner and she couldn't wait for it. She decided on a dress since that looked as cheerful as she felt and took her time doing her hair and was pleased that they still managed to hit the road by nine.
The car door had barely closed behind her and she hadn't even secured her seatbelt yet when Harrison started in with the questioning, "So, what's up with those two?"
"Those two, who?"
He shot her a look that seemed to say '_are you blind_?' "_**Those**_ two. Huck and Quinn! Something is going on."
"Why do you say that?" she asked coyly.
"Did you not see them this morning or am I bugging? I know I'm not bugging," he answered himself.
"I was hoping I was reading into things when I walked up on them in the kitchen this morning, but yeah, they seem a little..._friendly_. But hey, it's not any of our business, Harrison! If Huck wanted us to know he would talk to us about it. It's _**Huck**_, though, I really can't see him getting romantically involved with Quinn, or _anyone_ really," she finished with a confused look on her face.
"Liv, you know Huck and I have been friends since like, _forever_, and I've never seen him spend this much time with anyone, _especially not_ when he's working on a case. They're together all the time - when they're not holed up in Fitz's study, they're holed up in Huck's computer room, or going to Starbucks, or _something_. I even walked in on them **_giggling_** together. This is _Huck_, I'm talking about right now, _giggling_, for crying out loud. The Huck I know is **not** the giggly type of guy. And when we're home, you should hear the way he name drops her. It's Quinn this, Quinn that. I mean, doesn't she have a boyfriend? That she _lives_ with? I'm worried about him."
"Oh my god," she chuckled, "Harrison, are you jealous?"
"_**What**_? No!"
"You're use to Huck being your shadow and now _**he**_ has a shadow and you're not being included in their Huckleberry Quinn crime fighting duo. That doesn't make you feel some type of way?"
"Look, I didn't ask to be psychoanalyzed, Dr. Freud, so please, don't break out Rorschach's blots next. I am _not_ jealous."
"Okay, so then what are you worried about? If they _**are**_ doing something extracurricular, Huck can take care of himself."
"That doesn't mean we shouldn't worry about him. To be honest, on _top_ of the fact that she has a boyfriend already, she's too old for him."
Olivia shot him a look, "Is that right?"
"No shade to you, that's different."
She rolled her eyes, "Really? In what way? I _have_ to hear this."
Harrison shook his head, "Just listen, okay, cause I'm dropping facts here. It's been well studied and documented that women, by and large, mature faster than men, at least emotionally. So even though Fitz is thirty-six, physically, _mentally_ he's more like twenty-eight, probably. And your physical age is twenty, but mentally, you're probably like, hmmm like twenty-four. So it's not that huge of a leap for you two. But Huck is only eighteen, physically, so _emotionally_, he's probably about fifteen. Not saying he's not brilliant in most ways, but his _emotional_ intelligence is not all the way there yet, is all I'm saying. Quinn is twenty-_five,_ so lord only knows how old she is mentally, at _**least**_ thirty. It's like dog years," he shrugged with a smile.
She couldn't help but burst out laughing, "I love you, Harrison, but you are so crazy. I mean, I get the underlying concept, but it just reeks of determinism to me, which I hate. I think there are some biological markers that contribute to emotional maturity, but I think most of it is conditioning. Most little girls are just socialized to be nurturing in ways that a lot of little boys typically aren't, boys are not the hopeless dopes you're making yourselves out to be. Don't sell Huck so short, I think he'll be fine. Where the hell do you get this stuff from, anyway, Harrison?"
"I read a lot of books. Ask anyone, it's true. I just don't want him to get manipulated and hurt in some twisted love triangle. Huck is not your average Joe, things could get messy."
Olivia sighed, "So what do you think we should do?"
"I don't know," he replied exasperatedly, "I was hoping, maybe, you could talk to him?"
"Me? Don't you mean _we_? Why do I have to do it by myself?"
"Because the two of us talking to him about it _together_ would look like we were plotting an intervention. You get the duty because you have the higher emotional IQ, duh. I'm fifteen, you're twenty-four, remember?" he reasoned with a crooked grin plastered across his face.
"Slick, **_very_** slick. Just buttering me up to set me up for the kill! 'Oh Liv, you're _**so**_ mature, you're just so genetically _predisposed_ for this kind of thing," she mocked him jokingly.
He grinned, "So you'll do it?"
"Yes, but I'm not promising you anything, not even details of the conversation! I'm just going to make sure he's happy, but other than that, I'm staying out of it. I refuse to meddle or sabotage anything."
"I would never do something like that, or ask you to, I just wanted to bring it up, though. Weird as it may seem, Huck has never really discussed his girls with me so it's awkward turtle. You say you'll make sure he's good, that's good enough for me. Now, let's pick out a car!"
* * *
Fitz sat on the edge of his bed watching the television. He didn't have anyplace to go, nor could he walk much, but it was a change of pace from laying down. Technically, nothing was wrong with his legs, but when he stood unsupported for too long his head began to swim and he felt likely to keel over, so a wheelchair was his main mode of transportation for the time being. Since they were releasing him in a week he was also learning to utilize a crutch for short distances, but it was awkward with one arm.
Fitz was glad that at the very least, his working hand was his dominant one, but still it was humbling needing so much care and support when was used to having incredible strength. Now, even simple things like using the bathroom or trying to read a book had become a frustrating chore and he hated feeling so needy and helpless. He had sat on his bed for hours, sending mental commands to his left hand, willing his fingers to flex, but coming up empty in terms of results. He knew the more he focused on his faculties, or lack thereof, he would be irritated, so he had turned his attentions to the t.v. instead of slipping into a sour mood.
The sun was shining and he took solace in knowing that he wasn't condemned to this moratorium indefinitely. He was going home on Monday. He still felt a little guilty that Olivia was deciding to put school on hold to support to him, but it also swelled his heart. Fitz wasn't used to people stopping their worlds to make sure that he was alright, and he wasn't sure how to react to the new concept.
As a child he had learned to get used to being pushed off on nannies and maids when he was sick and then later boarding school infirmaries. His father had always had a penchant for sleeping with the help, so his caretakers usually never lasted long enough to form close bonds. He was used to being the one who made sacrifices, not being sacrificed for, and he wasn't sure how to fully show his appreciation yet.
She had chosen him and he was grateful, and he wanted to be in a good mood when she arrived so he browsed through the channels until he found his favorite guilty pleasure, Judge Judy. She was currently tap dancing on the litigious dreams of her latest plaintiff with glee and he was more happy than he felt he had a right to be when the guide showed that the channel was having an all day marathon of her cases.
"Oh yeah!" he cheered to himself. He loved her no nonsense approach and court tv seemed to him the most addicting fad on daytime television. Officer Byrd had just dismissed the litigants when the door to his room opened and Olivia walked in looking like every bit of the sunshine she was in his life, garbed in a beautiful bright yellow dress.
"Well _hello,_ nurse," he grinned at her. "Don't you look beautiful."
"Hey there, handsome," she replied, laughing happily as she walked over to stand in front him. She cradled his face in her hands before leaning down to kiss his forehead and then his lips, "How are you feeling?"
He ran his hand up the back of her thigh and clutched it, drawing her nearer, "Perfect, now that my sweet baby is here. How about you?"
"Great,"she grinned down at him, "guess how I got here?"
He could help but smile back, "How?"
"I drove," she replied casually, sitting on his lap.
"Seriously? So you found a car? Let me see a picture!"
"Nope, it's a surprise. The car is a little different than the ones we looked at, but I hope you like it."
"Oh boy, I'm nervous," he ribbed, "but as long as its not a clown car, if you like it, I love it."
"I think you'll like it. I saw it and it reminded me of you. The most important thing is that it'll be bringing you home."
"Six days and counting. I can't freaking wait. Every day I wake up without you in my arms is torture. What's crazy is, like two nights ago, I could swear you were here with me. I hate that medication, it messes with my mind."
"Well maybe I was," she countered coyly.
He furrowed his brows, "What? No way?! How in the world did you manage that?"
She shrugged, "I have friends in high places."
"I don't deserve you," he whispered.
"That is so not true. You have made me the luckiest woman on earth, babe."
Fitz stared at her for a second before he kissed her collar bone and slipped his hand up her dress slowly. He began tracing circles on her thigh before dragging his hand further upward, gripping the bare skin of her ass until he reached the lace of her thong against her hips and toyed with it. Looping a finger through the flimsy material, he traced the letters of his name into the skin beneath it with his finger tips. He moved his lips from her collar bone to the tops of her breasts, his tongue drawing lazy circles to match the ones he had left on her ass. He felt her legs quivering against his and he smiled to himself, her body had been missing his as much as his missed hers.
"Fitz," she moaned out as his mouth moved down her cleavage and he used his arm to maneuver her swiftly onto the bed. Before she could blink she was flat on her back, looking up at him in awe. His lips crashed onto hers and he hovered over her for a second before she slipped her legs into their familiar home around his waist. He nuzzled his face into her neck and lowered his body fully onto hers.
"My sweet Livi," he mumbled into her skin as the electricity flowed through his veins. He could feel her desire for him in the intensity of the rock of her hips and her wetness soaking through the front of his cotton pajama pants, which only heightened his arousal. Her hot mound was cradling his throbbing erection, the lock to his key, teasing him as she pressed her middle into his and he could feel himself threatening to erupt.
It had been too long since he had felt and tasted her last.
He moved his hand to her sweet spot and ran his finger along her dripping entrance, before slipping a finger inside. She broke their kiss to gasp for air, the dual sensations overwhelming her. He latched back onto her neck with ferocity, taking her skin between his teeth before running his tongue over it, knowing he would leave a mark and not caring; he wanted the world to know that she was taken, that she was his.
He moved down, trailing kisses over her shoulder as he used his hand to flip her dress up and expose her lower body to his hungry eyes. He picked his oral trail back up above her navel until he reached her hips, nibbling them gently as he fingered the lacy panties for a moment before ripping them off, feeling too impatient to try to slide them all the way down with one hand. He hoisted one leg around his neck and she lifted the other to join it as he immersed his face in her wetness, finally savoring in the taste he had been missing for weeks.
Her breathing hitched and her hands were running through his hair desperately as he began spelling his name with his tongue on her clit. She whimpered when he ran his teeth over her bundle of nerves and sucked at her gently, knowing that the sensations drove her crazy. "Mine," he breathed into her and her legs were trembling around his neck, and then she was exploding onto him, her sweet juices filling his mouth. He pulled back and looked down at her, her eyes wide with wonder as if it were the first time all over again. He would never tire of seeing that look on her face, the one that told him she was discombobulated and pleased.
"I need you," she whispered as her hand slipped into the front of his pants and he knew he could never deny her. He leaned down to kiss her, allowing her to taste herself as she guided him inside of her.
"Baby," he groaned as she took control and their middles melted and became one. He lodged his head into her shoulder until he felt her fingers on the side of his face, willing him to look at her. He struggled against his instincts so that he could meet her gaze and she pressed her lips against his. "I love you," she breathed against his lips before he took her bottom lip in his mouth, his eruption inside of her his only response.
"That was _so_ reckless," she whispered with a mischievous smile on her face.
"It was, and I regret _nothing_," he grinned at her.
Olivia just laughed and shook her head, "Me neither, but I definitely need to clean up." She went to the bathroom to get herself together before wiping him down. He laid back and pulled her into him, "Stay with me, Livi."
She turned around in his embrace and kissed his jaw, "I'm not going anywhere until they kick me out."
He smiled, "You wanna watch some Judge Judy?"
"Definitely, I love her mean ass!"
He laughed heartily as he fumbled for the remote to turn up the volume on the tv and decided that maybe the hospital wasn't so bad after all.
* * *
Fitz couldn't believe how quickly eight o'clock came and a familiar wave of sadness crashed over him because he hated this part. He was feeling super comfortable with her in his bed, one of her legs sandwiched between both of his and her other limb draped over top, his arm was beneath her dress, encircling her waist and he didn't want to let her go.
"Babe, I should get going before Nurse Kathy comes to do her sweep."
He pouted pointedly, "Booo, I don't want you to go."
She sighed, "I don't want to either. I hate this."
He cupped her chin, "Hey, in a few days I'll be _all_ yours, all day long. You're gonna be absolutely sick of me."
"Never," she replied and just as the nurse's voice called their five minute warning through the door. "I think Vicky is coming at midnight, maybe if I hang around-"
"Baby, _no_. Go home, okay, try to get some rest."
"Okay."
"And no sad eyes," he pleaded softly.
She gave him a small smile, "I'm gonna head out."
"Hey, I love you and you don't know how much it means to me that you come here every single day. It means the world to me."
"You don't have to thank me, there's no place I'd rather be than with you."
He grinned, "You better to get out of here before I start thinking of ways I can hide you in the closet without being found out. I'll see you in the morning, right?"
She giggled at that, "First thing."
He brought her close for one last kiss, his forehead pressing against hers, "I'll dream about you...I do, every night. Be safe getting home babe, don't forget to call my room phone to let me know you made it in okay or I'll worry."
She kissed his jaw before finally disentangling herself from him, "I will. I promise."
He sighed and watched her walk out, just a few more days until he wouldn't have to do this anymore and he couldn't hardly wait. He would be counting down the seconds until there wouldn't have to be anymore goodbyes.
* * *
Olivia exited the hospital and made a beeline to her car. She sat in the driver's seat unmoving for some moments, trying to gather her bearings and willing herself not to cry, but she was losing the battle.
_This is stupid, I'm being stupid,_ she chided herself, _he's coming home in a few days, he's okay, I'm fine, get it together_. But no matter how much she admonished herself, she still felt sad. Today's goodbye had felt so much harder after feeling him inside of her and his lips everywhere, and it was extra painful to have to be without him. To have to go to an apartment that, no matter how lively it was with friends, still felt glaringly empty without him in it.
She had just given up the fight against the tears when she felt her phone vibrating in her bag, wondering who might be calling. She fished it out and put on her gladiator face when she read the caller ID, hoping her voice didn't sound as shaky as she felt when she pressed the virtual 'accept' button.
"Hello, Jake, how are you?"
"I'm good, Olivia, and yourself?"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking. What's going on?"
"Not much, I was just passing by the hospital and I thought-"
"How did you know I was at the hospital?" she asked suspiciously.
He hesitated, "I didn't for sure, I just kind of assumed you were still camped out there because of Fitz."
"Oh, yeah, duh, of course. Sorry, I'm just- anyway, what were you saying?"
"I was wondering if you had a moment to meet up? I was hoping I could show you something?" he asked hopefully.
"Tonight?"
"Tonight," he confirmed, "It won't take long."
"When?"
"Are you free now?"
"Well, yeah, but I need to go home for a little bit first," she said to herself more than him. There was a chill in the air, the earlier warmth from the day gone now, and she would need more appropriate attire. She definitely was not going to travel anyplace else but home in a dress and no underwear.
"Okay, so why don't we meet in like an hour or so? I know a place we can go and talk."
"Sure, text me the place and I'll give you a call when I'm on my way."
"Great, I'll see you then," she could hear the smile in his voice as he hung up.
She sighed and began the short journey to the apartment deciding that maybe this was just the distraction she needed.
* * *
The lights were dimmed and all was quiet when Olivia entered the apartment. "Hello? she called out to no response as the door slammed behind her. A quick glance at rack beside the entryway revealed that at the very least Quinn was here, as her jacket was hanging from a hook overhead, which meant that Huck was most definitely here, too.
"Hey Liv," a voice called out from the hallway.
"Shit, you scared me Huck," she turned her eyes to his figure looming in the breezeway. How he ever managed to move so silently in a quiet room would forever boggle her mind.
"Sorry. How'd the car search go?" he asked curiously.
"Awesome, I found something I loved as soon as I stepped foot in the dealership and Harrison brokered a killer deal."
"Good. How's Fitz?"
"Getting stronger everyday," she sighed, "I can't wait until he comes home."
"I know. There's food on the stove if you're hungry."
"Oh, you cooked?"
"Quinn did most of the cooking, but I helped some."
"Nice, thanks, I'm definitely gonna check it out," she responded carefully, her earlier conversation with Harrison popping into her head. _It's now or never,_ she figured. "How's the lead coming along?"
"We got a lot done."
"Yeah, you two seem to be hitting it off."
Huck folded his arms across his chest, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, I just-"
"Yes it did. There's something you want to say, just say it," he goaded her, stepping closer.
"I just mean that I noticed you guys seem to be enjoying each other's company..._beyond_ researching. Cooking together and stuff...I heard you laughing with her this morning, in the kitchen. No judgements here, just curious."
"She has a boyfriend, Olivia," he told her in a tone that illustrated his dismay with the line of questioning
"I know, I know, it's just that I've never seen you smile or heard you laugh so much in as many years as I've known as I have in the past few weeks that she's been around. Do you like her?"
"It doesnt matter," he responded dismissively, "She has a boyfriend that's a good guy and I'm...not the kind of dude she would or should ever get involved with seriously."
"Huck-"
"It's true. You and I both know it."
"It's not true, Huck, don't sell yourself short. You deserve to love and be loved. Intimate relationships are never simple and love always has obstacles, but that doesn't mean it's not meant for you, or that it's not possible."
"Olivia, my focus is on finding the assholes who put Fitz in the hospital and making them regret that they were ever born. Quinn is helping me do that. That's all. But thanks for your concern."
"Okay...well, I'm gonna shower real quick and head out for a few."
"Really, where are you going?"
"Remember I was telling you I may have an inside source to help with the missing footage? Hopefully I can secure the tape tonight. He made it seem like he had something important to tell me."
"He? The source is a man? And he wants to meet up this late at night?"
"It's not that late, I should be back before eleven and we're going to meet in public."
He crossed his arms tighter, "I still don't like it. It doesn't feel right to me. You want me to shadow you?"
"No, it's fine, really. He's already paranoid about the whole thing anyway, the last thing I want to do is freak him out."
He gave her a look, "Okay. Well, be safe."
* * *
Jake was sitting in a booth in the back corner eyeing the door when he saw her walk in. He had asked her to meet him at a large rainforest themed café a few minutes off of the beaten downtown path. The crowd that patronized it consisted mostly of tree huggers and pseudo intellectuals who cared more about MacBooks, organic cups of coffee and dead poet societies than politics, but he liked it anyhow. He knew no one in the mayor's office would be caught dead in a such a place, so he figured it was a safe space to talk.
_She changed_, he noted to himself as he took in her outfit. He enjoyed the way her jeans hugged her hips as she strutted through the crowd, but he had fallen in love with the dress that he had saw her in this morning when he had watched her climb into her cousin's vehicle. The bright yellow had reminded him of the dandelions that used to grow in the backyard of his childhood home, and he thought it was more than fitting an association since thoughts of her had taken root and spread in his mind like the colorful weed.
She was under his skin and it was irritating the hell out of him; he knew he was playing with fire but she was just so intriguing. He just wanted to kiss her, to taste her tongue and palm her ass, just once, and he was sure that then would be able to kick the inappropriate infatuation. He hated to admit it, but part of him was envious of how much she seemed to love and live for Fitz, the whole reason why she was even entertaining him now was because she was hellbent on finding the culprits responsible for hurting him.
She was so beautiful and so nice, she just seemed too good to be true. If he could get her to kiss him then he would simultaneouly shatter the idealistic pedestal he had placed her on and put a chink in their perfect little bond, then he'd have no more reason to be jealous. At least that was the plan. Part of him feared that he would kiss her and it would only fan the flames instead of extinguishing them, but either way, he had to find out.
He could see her scanning the crowd for him so he dialed her number quickly, not wanting to call out and draw attention to himself. He watched her gracefully flip her hair and pull her phone out of her pocket. "I see you," he teased when he heard her voice on the other end.
"You do? Where are you?"
"Back left corner."
She made her way to the table and he stood, hopping she might offer him a hug. She gave him a wide smile and sat as she began unraveling her layers, "Hey."
"Did you find the place okay?"
"Yeah, I think I've been here before."
"Are you hungry, I-" he stopped suddenly when she removed her scarf, his eyes immediately zeroing in on the fresh purplish-blue marks dominating her neck. He knew he had no right to be jealous, but it irritated the shit out of him to see Fitz's love marks on her, a visual representation of his firm grip on her.
"What?" she asked with a confused look, wearing her ring of hickeys as proudly as if it were a gold necklace.
He hadn't realized that he had stopped suddenly in the middle of his sentence, "Oh, um, sorry, just wondering if you were hungry, the personal pizzas here are pretty good. The coffee is alright, too."
"I actually just ate, thanks. And it's a little too late for coffee for me, I can barely sleep as it is, so I won't. But I think I had an orange smoothie here last time I came and it was pretty awesome."
"Great, I'll grab that for you, and you can take a look at this," he said sliding a manila envelope across the table. He went to the register reluctantly, wishing she would have ordered something more substantial so that they would have more time together, but he would enjoy watching her wrap her sexy lips around the straw at least.
"Jake, what are these photos?" Olivia asked as he returned with her smoothie in hand, her eyes glued to the photos.
"That's Fitz's car, the night of the incident, after the shooting," he replied simply.
"How did you get these?"
"That software we were talking about goes a little further than just government offices...they're everywhere, including the red light cameras that the public is informed only captures the information of traffic law violators. They're always on, watching, recording, archiving. Anyway, the important thing is to look the background, about four cars behind Fitz's in each photos is the same black four door. It's in every capture, ten different cameras on as many different streets, I don't think that's a coincidence. Have your people look into it."
"Wow, I can't thank you enough, I really appreciate this."
"It's my pleasure, Olivia, really. I still don't have the archived footage you were looking for yet, but I will soon, and I'll get it to you ASAP."
"Thank you...so much, really. I know you're taking a big risk doing this for me, but I'm really grateful, and Fitz would be too, if he knew how much of a help you've been."
"I'm just doing the right thing. After I get you this video, I can still help, I want to help. I know you have a team together already, but I'm valuable, too."
"I thought you didn't want to meet the team? For privacy reasons?"
"I don't, but maybe you and I could just meet up from time to time. You can act as a liaison between me and your other associates. I want to help you, Olivia. What do you say? Are we partners in this?"
She grinned, "Yeah, sure. What do you want me to do?"
"Just wait on my call, and I'll let you know where and when. We're going to get to the bottom of this."
* * *
_There's no place like home_, Fitz thought as he sat at the dinner table surrounded by friends. Olivia was beside him on one side, her fingers clasping his throughout the night, and Harrison was on his other. Across from him Quinn was looking uncomfortable as she was fielding conversation from both Huck and Stephen. It was nice to be having a meal on a real plate instead of a styrofoam tray, and he was so happy to be out of the hospital that he had out on slacks and button down in rebellion against the loose fitting hospital grays he had been garbed in for weeks. It was nice.
The day had been almost perfect; the weather was calm, he had been discharged without an issue and even made it to the car with just a crutch instead of a wheelchair, so his pride was intact. He had grinned when Olivia pulled her new car up to the curb, sexy was first thing he thought we he saw her behind the wheel of the beautiful car. Although she had been looking at small cars as far as he knew, she had decided on a white Mercedes SUV that was absolutely stunning and had more than enough leg room to accommodate him comfortably. The ride home was smooth and everything had been perfect until he asked for his cell phone back. How he wished he would've left it in the drawer.
After getting settled he had called his lawyer, Tom, and his sister to let them know he had been released. As soon as he hung up from Beth his phone had rang again and he had picked it up without looking at the caller ID, assuming there was something she had forgotten to say. He was shocked when the male voice on the other end sent a chill up his spine, "I hear someone's been released today?"
"Who the hell is this?" Fitz asked, already knowing the answer.
"You don't know your dad anymore?"
He had hung up, but he knew it wasn't the end of the conversation. No sooner then he had pressed 'end,' than the phone was ringing again.
"_**What**_?!" Fitz had practically yelled.
"Don't hang up," Gerry commanded, "I'm in Boston, we need to talk."
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded icily.
"This nonsense has been going on for far too long between us, we _will_ talk son," he put forth in a tone that brooked no argument.
"No," Fitz growled.
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can agree to lunch, or I can just start popping up places, you know I'm not above it. So, whaddaya say?" Gerry commandeered.
Fitz sighed, "When and where?"
"Tomorrow at Cipriani's. I reserved the private room. And bring that pretty little wife of yours with you," he had added before hanging up.
It had pissed him off royally, but Fitz was trying his best not to let the phone call and looming lunch ruin his mood. He was resigned to go hear Gerry out and be done with it, once and for all. Olivia was going to be by his side and there was nothing Gerry could say or do to ruin what he had worked so hard for in the last year, no matter what he had up his sleeve.
Fitz yawned and looked at his watch: **8:37.** He felt worn out and it wasn't even ten yet, but he figured it would be awhile before his body stopped working on a hospital schedule.
He picked up his water glass and tapped it with his spoon to get everyone's attention. "Guys, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart for coming to see me and caring about my well being when I was in the hospital. I also wanted to say thanks for being there for my Livi when I couldn't be. I don't take that lightly and you all have my sincerest gratitude."
The five of them began cheering and whooping loudly in response and he laughed at their enthusiasm.
"You don't have to thank us, Fitz," Harrison spoke up, "you're part of the ohana now and it comes with the territory."
"Yep," Huck joined in, "Ohana means family, and in a family no one gets left behind or forgotten."
"Awww, you guys are the best. I hope I don't sound like the old fart that I am, but I'm really beat and the pain meds are beginning to wear off, so I'm gonna go lay down. I'm not kicking you guys out though, mi casa es su casa, but Olivia will be dragging me to bed if I don't go now."
* * *
When Olivia came into the room, Fitz was sitting on the bed, frustrated and completely irritated. He was definitely going to need more t-shirts because the buttons were proving to be impossible for him one handed, even if it was his right hand. When he had left the dinner table, he had forgotten that he hadn't really dressed himself and thus, was going to need another hand to undress.
"This is not going so well," he sighed and looked up at her with masked anger in his eyes. He hated this predicament.
She walked over to the bed and knelt in between his knees, methodically unbuttoning his shirt. She kissed each shoulder lightly before sliding it off of him.
"Better?" She asked seductively and he nodded as she began to unbutton his slacks and pull them off of him and he was instantly hard. Only Olivia could make his handicap feel sexy. When he was left in only his boxers and undershirt she kissed his lips and stood.
He looked up at her with desire in his eyes and heard the words leaving his lips before he thought them, "Take off your clothes."
She didn't respond verbally and her eyes never wavered from his as she deftly unbuttoned her jeans and slipped them down over her shapely thighs.
"Stop," he commanded as she moved to take off her top, and she dropped her hands, her gaze still meeting his. "Come," he motioned to his lap and she was on him, her arms draped around his shoulders as he buried his face in her neck. He used his able arm to try to take her shirt off and she raised her arms to help him. Then they were both in their undergarments and she was on top of him, pushing him down to the bed. Their lips met furiously, desire taking over them because aside from their rendezvous in his hospital bed, they hadn't been together for almost a month and they needed each other.
He pulled back and she looked at him with confused eyes, "What's wrong?"
"I really have to pee," he replied sheepishly.
She laughed and then eyed him seriously, "I missed you babe."
"I missed you too, Livi. I missed this, being here with you, alone, with no one about to tell us visiting hours are over. I hated having to watch you walk out that door every night."
"And I hated leaving you there. Want some help in the bathroom?"
"No, I think I can manage. I'll scream if I need you."
Six minutes later he emerged from the bathroom. _Much longer than it should take any adult male to pee, but not bad, considering_, he told himself. "Ta-da!" He exclaimed as he closed the door behind him, "I'm a big boy now," he joked but got no response.
"Tough crowd, ey?" he mumbled as he drew nearer to the bed. When he saw the reason for her lack of response he couldn't hold back his chuckle. Olivia was wedged in between the pillows, clutching his pillow tightly, her mouth open in a small O.
_God, she is so beautiful_, he thought to himself as he admired her. She looked angelic in the simple white bra and panties that he had been seconds from removing minutes earlier. _It's fine_, he thought to himself as he eased beside her onto the bed, _we have forever,_ he smiled to himself.
Her eyes fluttered open as he jerkily began trying to readjust the covers to get beneath them, "Huh?" she looked up at him in confusion.
"I didn't say anything, go back to sleep honey bun."
"I wasn't sleep," she mumbled as his arm swooped down to slide her onto his chest.
"Of course you weren't," he chuckled as she snaked her leg between his. He kissed her forehead and squeezed her arm, "I love you."
"Mmm I love you more," he could barely hear her faint reply as she drifted back to her dreamworld.
He laid there for awhile fighting sleep, enthralled by the sound of their synchronized heartbeats in the otherwise silent room.
_This is the way it should always be,_ he thought to himself, _**will** always be_, he corrected himself.
There was no other option, this was it.
* * *
Olivia looked up at his tense face as she secured his tie, "Babe, are you sure you want to do this?"
Fitz sighed, "Have to. If I don't, he'll just keep popping up. If you look up 'incorrigible' in the dictionary, there'll be a picture of Big Gerry next to it. I want him gone."
She nodded, "I understand."
The ride to the restaurant was quiet of conversation, Olivia let the radio play and left Fitz to his thoughts. She knew his relationship with his father was tumultuous at best, and she was nervous. She wondered if they would argue or if it would just be awkward.
When they reached Cirpriani's, the hostess show them to the back room where his father was waiting. When the pair entered the airy room Big Gerry rose to greet them, "I halfway didn't expect you to show, and you brought her, wow, color me shocked. You look good, a hell of a lot better than I expected based on the news reports." The older man reached out a hand and Fitz shook it reluctantly, "You sure do know how to pick em, boy, she's a beauty."
Fitz rolled his eyes, "Gerry, this is my wife, Olivia. Livi, this is Gerry. I've told you about him." Olivia almost flinched at the ice in Fitz's voice and picked up on the shade of not introducing him as his father.
"Nice to meet you," she greeted him and offered a hand, but he opened his arms for an embrace instead.
She looked up at Fitz hesitantly, but Big Gerry spoke before she could read his eyes, "Come on, your dad-in-law can't have a hug? You're a Grant now, we're family. Now, get over here, little bit. You're so tiny." She gave him a polite hug and then sat beside Fitz, who already was visibly agitated.
Just then a waitress with a tray of drinks came into the room, "I ordered your favorite, Fitzy, scotch on the rocks and a red wine, for the lady."
The woman went to place the drink in front of him but Fitz held up a hand, his glare on Gerry, "Don't you ever in your life call me 'Fitzy' again and I don't want your goddamn drink."
Everyone at the table, including the waitress froze.
Gerry and Fitz stared each other down for what felt like an eternity before Gerry turned his gaze to Olivia, "Sweetheart, would you mind giving us a few minutes to talk in private, mano y mano, ya know? It seems we have some issues to work out."
She moved to slide out of her seat but Fitz clutched her leg, harder than he must have intended because she grimaced. "No, anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of my wife."
"There are some family things-"
Fitz huffed, "Well, didn't you just say she was a part of the family? Or was that just more Big Gerry charm? Either way, it doesn't matter because Olivia has been more of a support system and family to me than you've ever been. You're not even worthy of breathing the same air she breathes, let alone talking to her, so forget trying to dismiss her. You don't run shit around here, and you definitely don't run me anymore, _Gerry_, so tell me, why the fuck are you here?"
Gerry sighed before taking a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting up.
Olivia looked around in paranoia, "Ummm, I don't think you're allowed to smoke in here."
Fitz put on a sarcastic smile, "Big Gerry does what he wants, isn't that right, _Ger_? Better to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission, that's what you always told me. Act first, pay em off later."
Gerry just inhaled and blew out small rings of smoke, "You done yet?"
Fitz grunted, "I was done before I even got started. I didn't come here to watch you smoke. What the hell is it that you want from me, anyhow?"
"You always assume the worst of me. What? A father can't miss his son?"
"My father is dead," Fitz responded flatly, "so again, what is it that you want from me, _Gerry_?"
"You wound me. Your father is still very much alive. You know, part of me feels like you still blame me for your mother running away."
Fitz shrugged, "Amongst other things."
"I didn't prohibit her from having a relationship with you guys, Fitz. If that was what she wanted she would've fought for it! I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth."
"You may have convinced Teddy and Beth of that cockamamie bullshit, but I know what really happened. You've been lying for so long you probably wouldn't know the truth if it jumped up and bit you. Anyway, did you come here to talk about mom? Because if so, I'm leaving."
"No, I came here to talk about us. It wasn't right how you left, Fitz. I had to find out from the goddamn cleaning people that you had been gone for days and had taken all your stuff. I practically had to beg Beth to tell me where you were! What kind of spineless shit is that? Huh? Why didn't you say anything?"
"For the same reason I had to find out through the grapevine that you were fucking my wife."
"So that's what this is about? _Mellie_? You should be happy that I exposed that snake bitch for the conniving whore that she is, excuse my French sweetheart," he looked to Olivia before continuing, "but it's the god's honest truth. I did you a favor. Stupid bitch is still a fucking thorn in my side. Hey, you've got a new wife now, so let's just call it water under the bridge, okay?"
Fits shook his head in disbelief, "You just don't get it! You made a damn cuckold out of me! She's a snake, but you're supposed to be my father. You knew what she was when you set me up with her, but you still fucked her, so what does that make you?"
"I suppose the same thing it makes you for marrying her. You had a choice, I didn't hold a gun to your head."
"Maybe not literally, but figuratively. What you did was fucked up-"
"Okay, and I acknowledge that I've done you wrong Fitz, I'm sorry. I'm apologizing. I'm here because I'm sorry. You're my son, my eldest son, it shouldn't be like this between us. Life is too short, didn't getting shot teach you that?"
"Yes, entirely too short to be putting up with your bullshit, I know that for sure."
"Fitz, you don't mean that. I'm sure you care for me, somewhere deep down in your heart because were family. Beth, Teddy, everybody misses you out west. You've missed so much. You don't belong out here, Fitz, you should be with your family, at home. California is in your blood. I know you've gotta hate these east coast winters, huh?" he asked hopefully but Fitz didn't budge. "I hear you're down at the Mayor's office, I knew you wouldnt stay off the political stage for long. You know I can set some things up and get you something way better back west. Plus we have the best doctors in the world in Santa Barbara, they'll have your arm back in tip-top shape in no time, you'll be up and at em in no time."
"_**No**_."
Gerry looked confused, "No? What do you mean no?"
"I mean I am **_not_** coming back to California and I want _**nothing**_ to do with you. I've heard what you have to say, and I have to say, thanks, but no thanks. You're full of shit and I'm done here."
"That's not all-"
"Well, _what_ then? Stop wasting my time. Spit it out already for Christ's sake!"
Gerry paused for a second, the cigarette dangling between his fingers lazily for a moment before he brought it back to his lips. He paused, lips pursed, before inhaling and letting the smoke fall out in shallow torrents from the side of his mouth, "I'm sick, Fitz."
"Sick, how?"
"Well you know I'm diabetic and...recently I was diagnosed with renal disease. Kidney failure. Whatever you wanna call it."
Fitz's tone softened, "Is it terminal?"
"Geez, don't sound so damn excited about it. Depends on whether or not they can find a match for me."
Fitz paused and then huffed, "So is that why you're here? You need an organ from me?"
"You're jumping to conclusions-"
Fitz shook his head in disbelief, "You couldn't even wait a whole week until I was out of the hospital, huh?"
"That's not why I'm here-"
"Tell me one thing, have Teddy and Beth both been tested?"
"Fitz-"
"Answer me straight for once in my life, you owe me that much at least."
"They were, but they're not a match."
He shook his head knowingly, "Right, so you come traipsing into town on a whim, hoping I'd be loopy and sentimental enough to pledge one of my vital organs to you, huh? I'm not stupid, I see what's going on here! I'm just the missing piece of the genetic puzzle you need to add a few more years onto your life. You're buttering me up so I will feel some type of familial _duty_ to you and when it comes back that I'm a match, because you know it will, that's just how it always goes. Then, if I refuse to get cut up for my asshole of a father I'll forever be painted as the evil, heartless son, who could've saved you, but didn't."
"For Christ's sake, will you let me get a damn word in edgewise? That's _**not**_ why I'm here, Fitzgerald, if you would just let me explain. I found out a couple months after you left. I could've come looking for you then if that was what I wanted, but I didn't. I heard about you being shot and I wanted to come immediately, I wanted to call immediately, but I knew you didn't want to hear from me, but I finally built up the nerve. I'm sure you think my health troubles are my just desserts, and I agree with you. Mortality has a way of shoving the looking glass in your face and you're right, I _haven't_ been a good father to you, _**any**_ of you, but it's not too late for us to try. I'm not looking for a kidney here in Boston, I'm looking for my _son_, and daughter in law. I may be a dirty bastard, but I'm still _your_ dirty, bastard father. My blood flows through your veins and I think that counts for something. _Forgive_ me, Fitzgerald, and let's start over anew. That's all I want. I swear it to you."
"I don't believe you. I'm done here, for real this time," he said as he stood. "Are you ready, Liv?" She stood beside him and they turned to leave.
"Well, it was good seeing you anyways, really and truly. Take care of yourself, son, and if you change your mind, I'll always be here, until I'm not. It was nice meeting you, Olivia, you two be good to each other."
* * *
The ride home was choked with silence as Olivia drove and Fitz stared listlessly out of the window. She wanted to say something, but she had no clue where to start, so she just remained quiet.
When they reached their apartment Fitz's frustration was ever apparent as he hastily tried to removed his tie and shirt, not caring about buttons or rips. He flopped dejectedly onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, clearly deep in thought. She laid next to him and watched his chest rise and fall, his hand balled up into a fist beside him. His jaw was clenched and his ears were scarlet so she knew he was seriously pissed.
Instead of words she just reached out and touched him, laying a hand softly on his chest, over his heart, to let him know he wasn't alone. Seconds later his hand was on top of hers and he was intertwining their fingers.
He finally looked at her, his eyes red and brimming, "I hate him, Olivia."
"I know."
"I just...he makes me feel so crazy, so stupid, like I'm still a ten year old kid. Yesterday, when he called, I knew he wanted something, I **_knew_** it. But part of me, some stupid, childish, idiotic part of me was still hopeful that this time might be different. That he actually cared about _me_, as a person, not as a means to an end. After almost four decades, you would think I would know better. He's right, too, some stupid part of me does still love him, in spite of the bullshit he's put me through and I feel guilty for not wanting to at least see if I might be a match. I fucking hate him, Livi," he finished in a cracked voice and she could see the hot tears begin to spill.
"Baby," was all she could say as she climbed on top of him, needing to give him physical comfort. He buried his face in her neck and she kissed the side of head, trying to catch the tears.
"I know you must think I'm so weak-"
"Fitz, no, don't say that. I could _never_ think you were weak, and anyone who does, doesn't know you. You don't care because you're stupid or weak, you care because it's in your nature to be kind hearted, and some people try to take advantage of that. If you want to forgive him, that doesn't make you weak. It takes a strong person to forgive. Hurt and anger come easily, forgiveness is hard. Don't let him guilt you into forgiving him or anything else, only do it because you believe it's the right thing for you to do. Even if you choose to forgive him, you still don't have to build a relationship with him if that's not what you want. You can love and forgive him from afar. But either way, no matter what you choose to do, I support you babe. We can hate him together or love him together, but either way, I'm on your team. And I'm not judging you, whatever you choose to do."
"Really?"
"Of course, Fitz. We're in this together. And if you decided you want to donate your kidney to him, I'll be right by your side the entire time. I'll be at the hospital until they kick me out, if that's what you choose to do, but it's your choice, babe. Don't let him back you into a corner."
He stared at her for a moment before he pulled her closer and kissed her, "I love you...so much, Livi."
She gave him a small smile, "And guess who loves you more?"
"I am never, ever letting you go."
"If you promise to never let go, I promise to never stop holding on."
"Forever?" he made the word a question.
"Forever," she repeated, a promise.
* * *
**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! What do you guys think about Huck/Quinn and odd man out Harrison? Do you think Fitz should help Big Gerry? ****Curious about your thoughts. Thanks again for reading!**
23. Confessions
Huck was sitting straight up in the bed with his back against the headboard, punching away at the keys of the computer that was hot on his lap. He looked at the time and it was** 3:32**; his eyelids were heavy and the pillow was calling his name, but he refused to give in to sleep. Huck was hellbent on coming up with at least some type of concrete information that would lead them in the direction of their prospective suspect, but with only a shady name to guide him, he was steadily coming up emptyhanded.
"I _foundddd_ him," Quinn's voice rang out and he pulled his eyes away from the screen in front of him momentarily. She was sprawled out on the bed comfortably beside him, her head propped up on a couple of pillows. She was hyped up on Starbucks expresso so she could afford to lay down, but Huck was trying to ween himself off of the sugary, highly caffeinated drinks.
"You sure it's the same guy you saw?" Huck asked tentatively. The twosome had encountered a number of false starts over the last few days so he was hesitant to get excited at this point.
The night Olivia had said she was going to meet her source, Huck had immediately felt leery of the mystery man and a burgeoning desire to know more. He knew that she would never voluntarily divulge his identity and she had specifically requested that he not trail her, so he had sent Quinn instead. Although he had really wanted to go himself, he knew Olivia was far too familiar with his gait and mannerisms, so Quinn was the safer choice. He figured he could talk her through it, make sure Liv was safe and it would be a good exercise.
The pair had cleverly disguised her in some old clothes that were stashed in the study and neither Olivia nor the Captain seemed to notice Quinn's presence in the background. The night had turned out to be uneventful, but Quinn kept going on and on about a distinctly creepy vibe she had picked up from the man, so they decided it would be good to find out more about him, just in case.
The twosome had spent the last few days secretly trying to identify and gather information on the guy, which was proving to be difficult because they had no clue what his piece in the puzzle was or how Olivia even knew him, nor could they ask. Nevertheless , Quinn had noted a City Hall parking sticker on his car, so they began searching the employee database. Something was telling Huck the guy had motives other than being a good samaritan, and until he figured out what exactly those motives were, he was going to keep an eye on him.
"Yeah, a little less hair, but definitely the same guy. Same creepy eyes," she exclaimed with a dramatic shiver.
"Give me the run down."
"Captain Jake Ballard, top security clearance, thirty-three, married to a Tina VanBuren-Ballard, one child," she rattled off in a faux bored tone. "It has his official residence listed as 1160 Manor Drive, which is right on the outskirts of town, but I followed him back to the Downtown Hilton."
Just then the sound of vibrations against the wooden desk across the room caught his attention and he looked over at it, but Quinn kept her eyes on the monitor in front of her.
"Don't you want to get that?" he asked.
"No. I bet it's probably just Stephen, again, calling to tell me how I should come home, for the fiftieth time."
"Maybe you should go," he replied evenly. He didn't understand her home situation and he didn't even want to begin to try.
She looked at him pointedly, "Do you want me to go?"
He hesitated for a moment and Olivia's question rang between his ears for the hundredth time, _Do you like her? _He didn't even know what that meant, really. He had never so much as kissed a girl, and in his mind, he didn't want to. He knew that romance tended to complicated life and could possibly distract him when he couldn't afford to be distracted; distractions could get you killed.
But something about Quinn was different; if he let her, she could become a distraction, or she could become a partner. She was a whiz in her own right with computers and technology and more importantly, she was a quick learner.
What he enjoyed most of all, however, was that she never seem put off or afraid of him. Most people saw him as prickly and withdrawn, but not Quinn, or at least if she did, she didn't seem to care. She could draw conversation out of him without trying and even when he wasn't in the mood to talk, she didn't let it affect her outward demeanor. She could be comfortable in the silences where most people couldn't and he loved that.
"No," he finally replied.
"Then I'm staying...He just doesn't get it," she added.
"It's not for everyone to get," he answered simply, not wanting to delve to futher into her relationship issues. "Anyway," he continued, changing the subject, "What else is there on Ballard?"
She picked up the hint and returned her eyes to the computer, "Hmm, he gets his captain title from serving in the Navy and he's handling security and intelligence at City Hall. I wonder if he knows Fitz from his time served?"
"Makes sense. That probably accounts for how Liv knows him and explains how he has access to those photos and the video she said he was going to get. Is there a phone number up there?"
"Yep, 617-555-3243. Verizon is the service provider."
"Perfect, run the number through the map app, it'll give us the coordinates for his phone and then we can track his movements as long as it's on."
"Done, any luck on the car rental dude?"
"Nothing but dead ends so far. I'm beginning to think this 'Charlie Glass' guy doesn't really exist and it's just an alias. The car is a rental, so the license plate does us little good and the driver's license number recorded on the forms doesn't exist in the DMV registry. The cell phone number listed belongs to a prepaid burner and he has a baseball cap pulled down low in all the photos that Liv's guy gave us. He's not going to make this easy for me. One thing though, there was a call from the phone to City Hall a couple days prior to the shooting, but it only shows the switchboard number, not which extension he was connected to, so another dead end."
"It's only a matter of time, I just know it," she reassured him through a yawn. "They had to have slipped up _somewhere_, they always do. Anyways, I'm kind of tired, you?"
"How could you possibly be tired when you had like, a kajillion shots of expresso today?"
She shrugged, "That was just maintenance. The more you have, the more you need. It's a vicious cycle."
He chuckled, "I know how that goes. Yeah, I'm pretty beat myself, maybe some sleep will get the balls bouncing against the wall and I'll wake up with something brilliant."
She smiled before repositioning herself on the bed and flipping off the light, "You always do."
* * *
"Fitz, cut it _out_," Olivia tried to scold him, but the amused smirk on her face took most of the seriousness out of her words. The front of her shirt and hair was already wet from his shenanigans. She was trying to be annoyed with him, but he just looked too cute soaking in his bubble bath, especially since she had washed his hair first, so it was all wet and curly and sticking to the sides of his face.
"Come on baby, get in with me," he pleaded.
Olivia quickly glanced at the shower clock above his head which read **10:05** and then splashed him back, "Babe, we don't really have time to bathe together. Both Quinn and your rehab guy should be here in like an hour and I still need to get ready to go to campus," she reasoned, but his expression didn't change.
Fitz had been anxious to start his physical therapy and Olivia had put a lot of effort into researching so that she could hire the right person and had set it up so he could begin right away. Originally, she had had no clue what to look for in a physical therapist or how to determine who would be the right fit for Fitz, so she had surveyed the staff in his wing for recommendations.
After the name Wilhelm Olnick was be put forth a number of times as reliable and effective, she had turned to Google for confirmation. The specialist's official website as well as _Yelp_! offered a number of client testimonials which attested to his skill and practice as a rehabilitator and she had been impressed. She thought it interesting that he took a full body approach and integrated homeopathic and eastern medicinal aspects, so she made the call and was lucky enough to find that he had space for a five-day-a-week, high-need client like Fitz, and today would be their first day working together.
Fitz splashed her again and gave her the pout that always got him his way, "You're no fun."
She smiled and kissed his lips softy, "Sorry babe, not gonna work. We'll have a bath later, k?"
"Okay," he conceded.
She leaned over him to grab the bar of soap off of its holder, but it slipped out of her grasp and just as she leaned down to fish it out she felt a pull and then the water was coming up to meet her body.
"Oh my god," she shrieked in shock as he burst out into laughter, "**_Fitz_**!"
He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her up between his legs so that they were face to face, "Hey, I gave you a chance to come in willingly," he smirked.
"You are the worst," she rolled her eyes in pseudo annoyance and he kissed her in response, his hand gliding down to help her remove the soaking bottoms that were clinging to her glistening skin. When they were off he threw them over the side of the tub and the water logged cloth hit the tiled floor with a thud. She pulled her t-shirt over her head to join its counterpart before turning back to him and kissing him slowly, her tongue exploring his mouth slowly, as if to rediscover the treasure she has been missing for so long.
"Baby," he moaned out, needing to temper the heat he felt growing in his groin.
"Hmm?"
"Be good before I lose it," he rushed out in a hushed whisper..
She smiled on his lips, "Maybe I don't want to be good."
"Turn around," he growled and she complied, the sexy bass in his voice sending chills up her spine.
He kissed her neck and slid his hand down her thigh until it reached the juncture between her legs and she gasped as he rubbed her lips lightly and she could feel the desire below her navel beginning to burn. He ran his thumb along her clit and gently grazed her opening which he knew drove her wild. She threw her head back against his chest and he kissed her temple. "Stop teasing me," she moaned.
He moved hs lips to her ear, "I want to make love to you so badly it hurts, do you feel me Livi?"
"Yes," she breathed as she ground her backside into his stiffening manhood, "I feel you babe."
"Have you missed me?" he demanded in a rich baritone, his fingers still teasing her overflowing wetness, refusing to enter her.
"_Every, single, day_," she groaned out raggedly, her voice barely above a whisper.
And at that he finally indulged her with penetration, satisfied with her answer, "I missed you too, sweet baby. Tonight, I want you on top, I want to feel you," He mumbled into her ear.
"I'm- Fitz-," she could barely think straight.
He added another finger and increased his pace, "Whose is it Livi?"
She moaned in response, the feeling of him touching her making it impossible to articulate coherently.
"I asked you a question," he growled and bit the back of her neck, "Whose pussy is this, Livi?"
"It's yours baby," she finally conceded as she exploded around his fingers.
"It better be," he whispered as she collapsed into him, all the former tension from her body erased. He peppered her neck with kisses as he shifted his hand from down between her legs to encircle her waist. Without missing a beat he fished the bar of soap from the water and drug it across her wet middle, working up a lather before using his hand to spread the bubbles over the skin from beneath her belly button up to her neck.
"Fitz, I'm supposed to be washing you," she chuckled.
"You'll get your turn," he replied playfully as she turned around in his arms and took the soap from him. She returned the favor and began soaping up his body as he watched her carefully through hooded eyes. She felt comfortable under his gaze and had missed it, had missed the way he paid attention to every her movement as if every moment was precious and he didn't want to miss a thing. She finished up quickly when she realize that thirty minutes had already passed and led him back into the bedroom.
They laid on the bed, him on top of her, his chest pressing onto her breasts and his eyes boring into her soul.
"I should get your special lotion," she remarked, trying to keep some semblance of time.
"Can we just lay here for a minute?"
"Sure," she smiled as they stared at one another and all of a sudden she felt a sudden wave of guilt. She hadn't necessarily been lying to him, but she had omitted things so that he wouldn't ask questions, and she knew she couldn't postpone being honest with him any longer. If he found out any other way he would be furious and the last thing she wanted was to keep secrets from him.
"Fitz?" she started hesitantly.
"Yes baby," he smiled.
"I should tell you something," she blurted out before she could lose the nerve.
He eyed her carefully for a second, his smile lessening, "What's up?"
"I've been...doing something, something that I've been purposely neglecting to tell you," she offered vaguely.
"Go on," he urged her, his voice serious.
"I've been," she paused thoughtfully, "well Harrison and Huck and I've been- well Quinn, too, I guess, and Stephen as well-"
"Livi, just spit it out," he interjected impatiently.
"We've all been looking for the guys that hurt you," she replied softly with more confidence in her voice than she actually felt.
He closed his eyes and was quiet for a moment, "Olivia, _**why**_ would you get involved in something like that?"
"_Because_, Fitz, it doesn't seem like the police are doing very much, and I'm not entirely convinced that this was a random carjacking."
He sighed, "Even if you're right on that front, wouldn't that be even more of a reason **not** to get involved? Livi, those guys were shooting to kill and I fully believe that they wouldn't hesitate to hurt you, and Huck and Harrison, too, if they got wind of the fact thar you guys intend to disrupt _whatever_ it is they're plotting. This is serious business, these guys are professionals."
"I understand that, but Fitz, we're _close_. I can feel it. We're going to find them before they even know what hit them. They can't- _**I**_ can't let them get away with that. They tried to take you from me and they deserve to be brought to justice."
He breathed in deeply, "You know, I can't say that I'm entirely shocked. I had a feeling you guys were up to something, but I was hoping I was wrong. You think you guys are close, huh?"
"**_Yes_**, Fitz, I can taste it," she tried to convince him.
"And what's the plan once you find them?"
"I...don't really know," she responded truthfully.
"Baby, I'm telling you, you don't understand the graveness of what you're getting involved in. Are you willing to _kill_ someone, Olivia? Because that's what it may come down to: kill or be killed. Do you have the heart for that?"
"I don't want to kill anyone, there has to be another way."
"Maybe you should consider rethinking this, because those guys will hurt you without a second thought. You may get yourself into a situation where a moment's hesitation could cost you your life, and then where will I be? Do you realize how guilty I would feel if anything were to happen to you? Or Harrison? Or Huck? You guys are my family. I'm begging you, Livi, don't put me in this predicament, please, just let this go," he pleaded.
She closed her eyes before speaking, "Fitz, when I was sitting on that ground with you bleeding in my arms I swore to myself that I wouldn't rest until the people who responsible paid for what they put you through, put _us_ through. I thought you were going to die, Fitz, I thought-" She stopped and opened her eyes, "Baby, you mean the world to me. Just like you want to protect me, I want to protect you, too. I couldn't sit by knowing I could do something and just leave it to chance and now we're **_this_** close...I don't want you to be angry with me, but I wish you would trust that I can do this. I **can** handle this. And it's not like I'm doing it all alone, I have Huck and Harrison and Quinn. This is really important to me and I need your trust on this."
"Livi, I _do_ trust you. I know you're beyond brilliant and you're passionate and your heart is in the right place. I could never be mad at you for that. I just know that the people behind this have serious interests and secrets to protect. These are people who wheel and deal and murder for a living. What I'm trying to say is, it's not important to me that the guys who did this pay for it. I'm a firm believer in karma and I know that eventually, they'll get theirs. I'm just so happy to simply be alive and to live and love you another day. Your safety and well being means a million times more to me than exacting revenge, and Huck and Harrison's too. I would lose my mind if you got hurt, Livi. Like, _**completely**_ lose it. I left everything I knew in California to come here and start over, never dreaming that I would ever find a love like yours and I'm not willing to jeopardize that. For _anything_. I know you want to protect me, but I'm okay. I know you were afraid that you were gonna lose me, but I'm okay. Let this go, please."
Just then her phone began to ring, Fitz grabbed it off the night stand and stared at the screen. "It's Huck," he said knowingly, passing her the device reluctantly.
"Hey Huck, what's up...really? That's great. Okay, I'll have her fill me in when she gets here."
"What happened?"
"He said Quinn should be here any minute...and Huck has the identity and some other details on the guy who was driving the car that night."
He sighed, "You're not gonna give this up, huh?"
"Fitz, if you really want me to-"
"I _do_, Livi, I _**do**_ really want you to. But something in your eyes is telling me that it would be easier said than done. I know we don't talk about age often, but you're young, baby, and really headstrong, and I don't want you to make a rash decision that puts your well being in jeopardy, but at the same time, I also never want to stifle you. If I try to force you to drop this, you'll resent me and it'll push you away. I can't have that... I _**won't**_ have that. If you're really gonna do this, the last thing I want is for you to be distracted and get hurt because you think I'm angry with you or because you're trying to hide things from me."
She eyed him carefully, "So what are you saying?"
"I'm _saying_ that I'm going to help. And you're gonna tell me everything you guys know and have been working on and I'm gonna fill in the blanks where I can."
She grinned widely, clearly shocked and pleased at his change in approach, "I love you baby!"
"I love you too, sweetie, and we're in this together, for life. I'm happy you told me. It's probably for the best that I didn't know in the hospital, I would've been sick with worry. Now, fill me in."
"Well, um. The first thing you should know is that Jake's been helping me."
"_Jake_?" he raised an eyebrow in surprise. "_My_ friend, Jake _**Ballard**_?" She nodded yes and watched his face contort with visible anger for a moment before attempting to relax and try to mask it. "Helping you, _how_, exactly? How did that even happen?"
"He just came by randomly one day to see how I was doing and dropped off some flowers-"
"_**FLOWERS?!** _What the _fuck_-"
"Fitz, calm down, he was just being nice-" she started before his nostrils flared again and he began to redden.
"Olivia, was he here with you, _alone_?"
Just then the intercom rang, and inside she breathed a sigh of relief. _Saved by the bell_, she thought to herself. "That probably Quinn, I should get it," she replied, avoiding answering the question as she began to slip from underneath him.
He clutched her arm, "We're not done talking about this."
"I know babe," she kissed him lightly,"just let me get the buzzer and let her in, okay? Then I'll come help you get dressed real quick. We'll talk later, k?"
He ran his thumb over her cheek before pressing his lips against hers, "Okay. Would you mind passing me my phone quick?"
She tossed his phone onto the bed and grabbed a tshirt and sweatpants before hurrying out of the bedroom just as the intercom rang again.
Fitz scrolled through his list of contacts before finding the one he was searching for and hitting 'send.' He reminded himself to try to keep his tone friendly and light, but inside he was seething. Something was not sitting right with him about this situation and he was going to get to the bottom of it. When he heard the voice come in on the line he took a deep breath and put as much warmth into his intonation as possible, "Hey, Jake? How's it going? I was wondering what you're up to and if you can stop by for a few, in a like an hour or so?"
* * *
Olivia opened the door with a genuine smile, "Hey Quinn! Thanks for coming, you're a lifesaver!"
"Oh of course, anytime!"
She walked into the kitchen and Quinn followed, "Awesome, I really appreciate it. His guy should be here at eleven, so just listen out for the buzzer for me, please. I'm not sure if they're gonna work for the full two hours today, but I should be back by one, hopefully. I'm going to bring lunch back for him, but he didn't have breakfast, so if he gets hungry there's a sandwich for him in the bottom of the fridge that should hold him over until I get back. He likes olives with them too, if he wants some, they're on the side door. He's going to insist to you he can get it by himself, but he can't."
Quinn laughed, "Noted, so where are you going?"
"Oh, I just have to run to campus real quick," she responded evasively.
"But I thought you're not finishing your classes this semester?"
"Um, I'm not, but I have an appointment with health services," she finally offered, hoping Quinn wouldn't ask for more details. "I'm still on the student list so they'll see me."
"Health services? Is everything okay?"
Olivia peered down the hall quickly to make sure Fitz hadn't left their bedroom, "Quinn, please don't mention this to _anyone_, but I'm late."
She furrowed her brows, "Late for what?"
Olivia gave her a knowing look and crossed her arms, "For the **_opera_**, Quinn, what do you think?"
Quinn looked at her quizzically for a moment, then she could see the realization dawning on her, "Ohhhh. Your _period_?!" she chirped. "Oh my god! How late?!"
"**_Shhh_**, please. This is just between us, okay? I'm pretty sure it's just stress, but I have to be sure, so I made an appointment."
"Liv, you should really be on birth control."
Olivia began pacing in circles, "I am, but when Fitz got shot I just completely let it fall to the way side like an idiot. It was literally the last thing on my mind. Then we got caught up in the moment last week and it didn't hit me until I looked at the calendar that I was supposed start my cycle this weekend, but I didn't. I had a little cramping, but that's it." She sighed, "I feel sick. Could I even be pregnant that soon? I don't feel pregnant, but then again, would you _feel_ anything so soon? Will a test even detect it this soon? I'm trying not to freak out, but, I don't even know," she rambled.
"So, wait. Fitz doesn't even know you're late?" she asked in disbelief.
"_**Hell**_ no, and I'm definitely not gonna mention it to him until I know for sure, because if I'm not, and I'm praying to God that I'm not, I'm not gonna mention it all."
"Liv, what are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna switch my birth control to the patch or something that I don't have to remember everyday, this can't happen again," she responded, not hearing the real question behind the words.
"No," she emphasized, "I mean if you _are_."
"But I'm not-"
"But if you _**are**_?"
"Quinn, I can't have a baby right now, _we_ can't have a baby right now. Fitz has just begun his recovery, I haven't even finished school yet. This would be the worst time and circumstances ever to have a child."
"Olivia, if you're not ready to begin a family, you don't have to...you do have options."
She stopped pacing and stared at her, "I...I couldn't do that. No, definitely not to Fitz."
Quinn blushed with embarrassment, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that-"
"No, it's fine, I'm not offended so don't feel bad. It's just that there's no way I could _ever_ make a decision like that without consulting him first and I could never bring myself to say those words to him." She sighed, "We did talk about babies once and you should've seen how his face lit up...I know he wants children and would be excited, that's not the part I'm worried about. I'm certain Fitz would make a great dad and that he would support me every step of the way, but I don't know the first thing about being a mom...It's just too much. I will definitely give him children but the timing just isn't right."
"Olivia, I'm a little older than you, not a lot, but enough to have friends who have been pregnant, planned and unplanned, and I can honestly say there's never going to be the 'perfect' time, per se. There will always be other things going on and challenges, but if you have a good partner, which it sounds like you do in Fitz, things will work themselves out. It'll be hard and crazy and stressful, but it'll work itself out and it will be so rewarding."
She gave her a small, grateful smile, "But hopefully, I'm _not_."
"Hopefully!" Quinn exclaimed.
"But you're right, if I am, he and I will figure it out _somehow_, together. Thanks, Quinn. I actually feel a little better now. I need to go help Fitz get dressed before Wilhelm gets here, though, and then get ready for this appointment. Make yourself at home."
"Thanks, I'm gonna be in the study practicing my investigative skills, I have to find out everything I can about Charlie Glass."
Olivia furrowed her brows, "Charlie Glass? Who is that?"
"Huck and I think he may be the guy who shot Fitz."
* * *
Fitz stood by the door, leaning on his crutch as he waited on Jake to arrive in the elevator. His first session with Wilhelm had gone well, and even though the guy was a bit strange, he could feel, at least in his mind, the blood flowing to his sleeping hand and he allowed himself to feel a bit more hopeful. Part of his care plan included acupuncture and meditation, which was very different from what Fitz had been expecting, but he trusted that Olivia had done her due diligence and chose the best guy for the task.
Luckily, today was mostly for introductory and assessment purposes, so he still had some time to have what he hoped would be a quick chat with Jake before she returned. He had resolved to keep his cool, but be firm in his expectations, and hopefully it would go over smoothly.
The elevator dinged and the doors slid open to reveal his comrade clad unusually casual in blue jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball cap, almost as if he were on some type of stake out, if Fitz didn't know any better.
He forced himself to smile genially, "Hey Jake, thanks for coming by on such short notice."
Jake took off his cap and shook his hand, "My pleasure, you look well. I've been meaning to come see you these past few weeks, but things have just been so crazy. I've been all over the place."
"Really?" Fitz took the opportunity to inquire as they seated themselves on the sofa, "How are things at City Hall? And at home?"
Jake sighed, "Business as usual at work, but things have deteriorated rapidly on the home front. After you saved my ass that night, I went home the next morning and Tina was acting as if we hadn't just had the blow out to end all blow outs the night prior. It was definitely a sight to see: food on table, baby on her hip, smile on her face. _Nauseating_. Anyway, I told her I wanted a paternity test and she lost it on me and acted as if she hadn't basically told me _herself_ that I had grounds to be concerned. Words were exchanged, it got heated, and when a skillet missed my head by about an inch I knew it was time to go."
Jake shook his head and shrugged, continuing, "I've been staying in a room downtown for the last month or so, looking into some apartments and stuff, but I kinda want something with a backyard. There are some nice places on Elm that I like. I really want a dog."
"Wow, so you're really going to pull the plug on it?"
"I don't see any other option at this point. After thinking about it, I've decided that I'm still going to be there for junior, but it's just not worth it trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole. I may never find the perfect partner, but I'm not gonna waste my life away in a miserable marriage. I'd much rather be single."
"Believe me, I know what that's like. I was in a prison of a marriage myself, once upon a time, and I wouldn't go back to that for any amount of money. Now that I know what true love is like, I say, don't waste your time, Jake."
"Thanks, Fitz. I appreciate that and I'm hopeful that I'm going to find her, one day. But until then, I'm more than happy to play the field," he grinned.
Fitz peered at Jake as he chose his next words carefully, wanting to gauge his reaction, "Right, and I'm sure you will. I thank my lucky stars every day that I've found someone I can fully love and trust in Olivia."
A small, almost unnoticeable smirk played on the man's lips as he nodded in agreement, "That, you are."
"Liv and I have a really special connection, you know, we tell each other everything," Fitz continued.
Jake raised his eyebrows smugly, as if he knew some secret Fitz was not privy to, "_Everything_, huh? Is that right?"
Fitz smirked and decided it was time to wipe the stupid look off of his face, "Yes, _**everything**_. Actually, this very morning we had a little talk and she informed me about some things that have been going on while I was incapacitated, so to speak."
Jake furrowed his brows at that, "Such as?"
"_Such as_ you feeding her information to help her find the guys that shot me. That's pretty risky, Jake. You're putting a lot on the line by doing such a thing."
Jake's jaw tensed up and Fitz was pleased that whatever former amusement he had been reveling in was now gone, "Well she _promised_ me that no one would find out that I was the source, but clearly, that's not the case."
"Olivia and I don't keep secrets, Jake. And while I appreciate your earnestness in the matter, I would appreciate it if you directed any future intelligence or inquiries to me regarding the matter," he informed him firmly.
Jake leaned back into the couch and eyed him, "You're _upset_," he remarked accusatorially.
"I'm not upset, I just thought it would make sense that I should take the reins here. These are dangerous people we're dealing with and I'd like to keep her as far away from this as possible," Fitz reasoned.
"You don't trust her to handle it?"
Fitz sighed, "This is not about trust."
"Then what is about?"
"It's about _respect_. Olivia is my wife and it just doesn't sit well with me to have you two meeting up independent of me. Since _**we're**_ supposed to be buddies, it would make me much more comfortable and it'd make much more sense for you and I to be in contact."
Jake chuckled at that, "So essentially, it's me you don't trust?"
"Let's be real for a second here, I haven't seen you in years, Jake, and I know you're going through troubles in your own marriage. Not a good combination for trust. What it boils down to is that Olivia is not up for grabs...Make no mistakes about it, she's **_mine_**, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to protect what's _mine_. Friend or no friend. But as a friend, which you **_say_** you are, and on a fundamental level as a man, you should be able to respect that. There's no reason for you two to be chummy, so just stay away from her."
He scoffed, "Excuse me? What is _that_ supposed to mean?"
Fitz was beginning to lose his cool, "It's not rocket science here, I mean _**exactly**_ what I said - stay away from her. She told me you've been dropping by here, unannounced. You should know better than that, Jake."
"Fitz," he started to explain, "it's not like that, _at all_. I just saw that she was upset so I just came by to bring her flowers-"
"And about that! _**Flowers**_? You're crossing the line and you know it-"
"She was _upset_, Fitz," he interrupted, "and I only 'dropped by' once. The next time we met up it was just to give her some information to help find the suspects at large. We met at a cafe one night, nothing romantic. You know me, Fitz."
"Stay away from her, **_period_**," he growled.
"We're friends-"
"That's where you're wrong, _we're_ friends and _she's_ my wife. What I don't understand is why you're so desperate to be her friend? Did I miss something? You have your own wife and troubles to worry about, why don't you take care of home before you go making new 'friends?'"
"Wow, you sound really crazy right now. She's not a possession, you don't own her, Fitz."
"She's my wife!" he exclaimed.
"So she can't have friends?"
"She can have friends, just not you."
"You know, I never took you for the insecure type, Fitz. What are you so afraid of? Worried that once she fulfills her daddy complex she'll realize there are better, more _able_, fish in the sea?"
"Really?" Fitz huffed, he was getting to see the real man behind the mask now. "Is that what you think?"
"I'm simply try to figure this out. You called me over her to stake your claim on your own wife, and it seems like this is more about you than it is about me. You're scared that your young, beautiful wife will grow weary of playing house and caretaker for her crippled old hubby? Is that it? Are you worried that I'm _competition_, Fitz?"
"_Get the hell out of my house_," he growled.
"I see it now, I truly understand why she has stars in her eyes for you. I bet you were her first, huh? Every girl falls hard for her first, it won't last though. Soon enough, she's gonna realize how much of her youth she's giving up for you. Tell me, does she she call you daddy when you-"
"_**Get the fuck out of my house, now, before I**_-" Fitz bellowed.
"Before you _what_, exactly?" Jake asked jeeringly, "Limp over here and beat me with your crutch? I'm already gone. You don't have to worry about me and your precious little Livi. Just remember, if it's not me, it'll probably be someone else. Take care, Fitz."
Fitz sat on the couch, staring at the wall as the door slammed. He was furious and wanted to smash something or drink something, but he knew doing either would be counterproductive.
He knew in his heart that the things weren't Jake had said weren't true, but it still made him feel crummy. He had thought he had long escaped the feelings of guilt he had about their age difference, but hearing certain sentiments expressed aloud made him question himself. He thought back to the night he had first had her in his arms and he had pondered the same things. What if this was just some complex for her? What if he was making a mistake, or worse, unknowingly taking advantage of her naïveté?
_I'm letting him get to me_, Fitz thought to himself, _This is exactly what he wanted, to make me feel crazy_. Fitz had pulled his card, and no matter how insecure Jake tried to paint him as, he had a feeling that he had a struck a chord somewhere. With 'friends' like Jake, he didn't need enemies.
* * *
When Olivia returned home Fitz was still sitting alone in the living room staring out into space and he was clearly immersed deep in thought.
"Hey baby, how did your first session go?" she asked as she slipped off her shoes.
"Fine," he replied solemnly.
"What's wrong?" she asked as she drew nearer to the sofa where he was seated, the bag with his lunch in it still in hand.
"Nothing's wrong," he replied.
She raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Where's Quinn?"
"I sent her home about a half hour ago."
"What? Why?" she inquired as she sat down beside him, "Fitz, you _know_ it's not a good idea for you to be here by yourself, what if something happened?"
"Actually, I wasn't here by myself, Jake just left a few minutes ago. You just missed him," he countered in a flat tone.
"Oh...I didn't know he was coming over, what happened?"
"Nothing."
"Fitz, can you please stop saying '_nothing_' because I can tell something's wrong. If you don't want to talk about it, you can just say so."
"Okay, I don't want to talk about it right now."
"Fine," she said, moving to stand.
He stretched his arm out in front if her to stop her from leaving the couch, "Well, no, actually, I do want to talk about it right now. I don't want to come across like a jealous, controlling husband, Olivia, but I don't want you having other men up here when I'm not home."
She sat back into the couch and crossed her arms, "What about Huck and Harrison?"
He gave her a look that said '_quit being funny_,' "I'm not talking about them."
"Stephen?" she threw out.
"Olivia, stop being purposely obtuse, you know _exactly_ what I mean."
"No, I don't, so that's why I'm asking you to clarify. You said 'men' which means all adult males, and they fall into that category."
"_**Olivia**_-"
"_**Fitz**_," she interrupted, leaning into him, "the only man that was here aside from them was Jake, that one time, and I didn't even invite him over here. Hal called up so he knew I was home, _what_ was I supposed to do?" she asked exasperatedly.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe meet him _downstairs_?" he fired back.
"Oh," she replied, slinking back into the couch, "I didn't think of that."
"And you also shouldn't have accepted those goddamn flowers!"
"Fitz, I think you're reaching, it was just a gesture-"
"A gesture for _what_ exactly? Olivia, you couldn't possibly be that oblivious. He has _**no business**_ giving you _anything_, let alone a bouquet of fucking _flowers_. Did you ever stop to think about **_why_** would he be going out of his way to come here and catch you alone instead of just seeing you at the hospital? Or why would he be giving _you_ flowers in the first place, if _**I'm**_ the one that's hurt?"
"I...don't know," she replied, resigned, "I didn't think about it like that."
"But I can bet he did. And going to meet up with him late at night? On coffee dates? What the hell, Olivia? What were you _thinking_?!"
"It was **_not_** a date! I was just getting some information from him, that's all!"
"Okay, but do you hear how that sounds? It's inappropriate! I don't like this, Olivia, and I don't want you meeting up with him and talking to him and-"
"**Okay**, baby, and I get that and I'm sorry. I should've handled it differently, but I didn't because I had a one track mind at that moment. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt or disrespect you. I was just trying to find the people responsible for taking my world away from me, I wasn't thinking straight. I thought since you knew him and you seemed to trust him, it would be okay. I accepted the flowers to be polite, I didnt even _water_ the freaking things. I put them on the shelf, they died, I threw them away. We met at the cafe, I didn't even _eat_, I just had a smoothie, which was pretty lousy by the way, and we were there for, _maybe_, twenty minutes. I didn't even let him walk me to my car."
Fitz sighed, "I'm sorry if I'm sounding crazy, I just, I _can't_ lose you Livi-"
She slid onto his lap and cupped his face, "You're not, babe. Not to Jake, or anyone else. I only have eyes for **_you_**. You're my one and only, and that's the only way I want it to be."
He pressed his forehead against hers, "Even if I don't get my hand back?"
"_Fitz_! Of _course_! Why would you think anything else?"
"I don't know, I just-"
"Baby, one hand, no hand, it makes no matter to me. When you were in that hospital, it was like I couldn't even _breathe_, and even if you were still unconscious, no one could convince me to leave your side. Your hand is going to be fine, but even if it isn't, I'm not going anywhere. I trust you with my heart, my mind, my soul, my life, and _**no one**_ can take me from you. You're not even allowed to die before me, or I'll kill you," she smiled.
He laughed, "I don't think I can control that, babe."
"Well you better figure it out."
"Livi, I love you, and the thought of living without you drives me crazy. The thought of you with some other man makes me so angry I could just- I would **_kill_** him, Olivia."
She kissed him and ran a finger over his lips, "Fitz, don't talk like that."
"I would Livi, with my bare hands. Well, _hand_."
She chuckled before bringing his hand to her lips, "You just might be crazy, but I love you. It would never come to that, I promise you. If you don't want me dealing with Jake, I trust your judgement, it's done. He means nothing to me. Now, are you ready for lunch, or what?"
* * *
Jake sat in the car across the street from Fitz's building, still seething. _How could she betray my trust like that? She fucking promised, and we shook on it._ He really thought they had an understanding, and now he was in a precarious situation. Fitz was onto him and now he would have to find another way to see Olivia. He wondered if he would place the same demands on her to stay away from him, and if she would fight him on it.
Either way, he needed to confront her. How _dare_ she reveal information that could cost him his job, and even more, his life. And how _dare_ Fitz raise his voice and try to put him in his place. They would have to pay, and he knew just how.
He pulled away from the curb in the made his way to City Hall. He was making a beeline through security in the direction of the one man he knew could throw a monkey wrench in the game.
Jake rounded the corner and greeted the secretary with a warm smile, "Hello, is Billy Chambers in?"
"I'm sorry, sir, do you have an appointment?" she asked sweetly.
"No, unfortunately, I don't, but I can promise you, what I need to tell him wont take more than a few minutes of his time and he'll be very upset to learn that he had the opportunity to get his hands on this information sooner, but didn't, because the messenger failed to make an _appointment_."
"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't get your name?"
"Captain Jake Ballard."
"Thank you Captain Ballard, give me just one moment, and Mr. Chambers will be right with you."
He smiled to himself, _Those two are going to rue this day for a while to come._
* * *
_A/N: This one was a little shorter, but I hope you enjoyed! Do you think Fitz went overboard or was he right to confront Jake? And Jake is still the ultimate snake! Curious to hear your reactions! Thanks for reading!_
24. Retaliation
**A/N: Just wanted to say thanks again to everyone that's been reading/reviewing/following/favoriting! It means a lot to me, and I really enjoy reading all you guys' comments as much as love writing the story! **
* * *
Fitz opened his eyes slowly and tried to adjust them to the darkness of the room. He had been brought to consciousness by the grumblings of his stomach, unable to ignore the physical sensation of his hunger that had pervaded the tranquility of his dreams. _God, I'm starving_, he thought to himself as he tried to recall his last meal.
Olivia had continuously coaxed him to eat some dinner throughout the night, but he had already overdone himself at lunch and had fallen asleep before he could work up a hunger. Now it was **4:12** and his stomach felt as if it was consuming itself. Under ordinary circumstances, he would have rolled out of bed and fixed himself something quick to settle his hunger pains, but with only one fully functional hand, it was easier thought than done.
Fitz looked down at Olivia sleeping peacefully in the crook of his shoulder, one of her hands clutching the hem of his boxers and the other splayed over his heart. He could never get over how beautiful she looked when she was resting and therefore couldn't find it in himself to wake her, so he turned his eyes up to the ceiling and sighed, hoping his restless stomach would quell itself enough for him to fall back to sleep until a more reasonable time.
"What's wrong?" he heard her tired voice murmur in the darkness.
"Hey, I thought you were asleep?"
"I was, but now I'm up. What's the matter?"
"Nothing," he replied, still hesitant to disturb her.
"Are you sure?" she asked and his stomach babbled back in reply. Olivia snickered, "Babe, are you hungry?"
He chuckled, "A little bit."
She ran a thumb over his lips, "What are you in the mood for?"
He grinned at her sheepishly in the dark, "Pancakes," he finally answered honestly, "pancakes and bacon."
Olivia leaned up to kiss him lightly before moving to roll out their love nest, "Coming right up."
She was already on the edge of the bed when she felt his arm reach out to stop her, "Mind if I help?" he asked wistfully.
Olivia looked at him and hesitated for a moment, but he could see her soften after searching his eyes, "Of course not, come on."
She leapt out of the bed and came around to his side, stopping him just as he began to reach for his crutch and offered her hand instead, "You don't need that babe, why don't you hold on to me instead?"
"You sure?" he asked doubtfully. At this point, he didn't think that he was going to fall, but if he did, the last thing he wanted to do was bring her down with him.
"Trust me, I won't let you fall," she answered, beaming.
"Okay," he conceded, raising himself off of the bed as she turned her back to him so he could wrap his arm around her waist. She secured her arm over his and as they began their short journey, inching towards the kitchen at a pace that he was sure was much slower than she was used to going, but quicker than the snail's pace he had become accustomed to over the past few weeks.
When they reached the kitchen he was sure his face was red, but inside he was doing jumping jacks, internally pleased with his burgeoning mobility.
"Stay right here, okay?" she requested, vanishing out of the kitchen before he could respond. She returned with one of the dining room chairs and positioned it so he wouldn't have to stand while they worked, and he sat, watching her in the dim light provided by the oven as she began gathering the utensils for their late-night/early-morning breakfast.
"Babe," she called out for his attention, "the mix is way up high on that shelf, you think you can get it, or should I climb?"
He stood, happy to feel needed, and peered into the cabinet he knew he housed the needed material on the second tier. The box sat pushed back into the rear, the shelf a couple feet over her head, but just a bit above eye level for him.
"No worries, I got it," he replied as he handed her the desired item.
Olivia emptied the powder into the bowl and added the eggs and milk, "You wanna do the mixing?"
"Sure," he agreed to the task, unsure of how well it was going to go being that he couldn't use his free hand to hold down the bowl.
He eased back into the seat and she slid onto his lap, handing him the mixer. As if sensing his apprehensive thoughts, her hand snaked down his arm until it reached the fingers that could only minimally register the sensation of touch. Locking her nimble digits between his stiff ones, she brought their hands up to rest upon the side of the bowl, her fingers controlling his as they both gripped the metal and he mixed batter purposefully until it was smooth.
"Think you can handle the bacon while I flip the pancakes?" she asked.
"Definitely," he grinned, more confident now. He laid out the strips in the pan and watched them sizzle as she perfected the flapjacks to a delicious golden brown beside him. Minutes later the meal that he had been fantasizing about less than an hour ago came to fruition before his eyes.
Olivia prepared a single plate for them to share and they began moving out into the dining room to eat.
"Baby," she exclaimed, stopping to stare out of the window, "it's snowing!"
Fitz groaned, "Jesus, it's supposed to be _spring_, why in the world is it snowing?" he asked as the fluffy, white flakes began landing more noticeably on the gleaming glass.
"Mother Nature is reminding us who's the boss," she laughedl "It's beautiful, don't you think?"
"Meh, it was the first couple of times, but I'm over it. I'd much rather be seeing rain."
She looked up at him with a smile, "I almost forget that you're not from the east coast sometimes. This isn't super unusual. My grandma used to live in upstate New York when I was a kid, right by the Canadian border, and she would complain about spring snow in May, even."
"Oh no," he moaned, "I think I will literally _die_ if it snows in May. The thought disturbs my spirit in so many ways. How would you feel about relocating someplace warmer, maybe, one day?"
She turned around in his arm, "Someplace like where?"
"I don't know, really, haven't thought about it that far," he grinned. He stared out of the window, pondering, "Anyplace warmer than this will do, though. Someplace where we can buy a home that's not .2 feet from the neighbors, so that I can make love to you underneath the stars in the backyard. Where we can have a real postbox that the mailman has to pull the flag up on, and I can check it and get the paper in the winter time without having to bundle up in Eskimo gear."
She shrugged and pulled him down to the floor, "I guess that would be okay," she answered, and he could tell she wasn't wholly convinced.
He rested his back up against the side of the sofa as she got comfortable in his lap, "Just think about it."
She nodded quietly, indicating that she would, as they sat watching the snowflakes fall through the paned glass. Olivia fed him pancakes and he served her the bacon as they enjoyed the panorama for some minutes before he broke the comfortable silence, "Thank you, baby."
"For what?" she asked quizzically.
"For letting me help in the kitchen. For pushing me to walk without the crutch. For not treating me like a baby."
"But you are a baby," she grinned, "you're **_my_** baby"
He chuckled, "Always and forever. But I just mean that I've been feeling so helpless, lately. It's like I'm Helen Keller or something."
She furrowed her brows, "Fitz, baby, Helen Keller was blind and deaf...?"
"Okay, Mrs. Smart-Ass, you know what analogy I'm attempting, but failing, to make," he teased, tickling her.
Olivia laughed and swatted him, "I do. I'm sure it must be hard to go from being to do everything by yourself, without a problem, to having part of your ability snatched away from you in the blink of an eye. I can only imagine how it must make you feel. But Fitz, you were _shot_, and in the head at that. I thank my lucky stars every day that you're doing as well as you are. I know it's a hard adjustment to make, but you're doing amazing, and I'm right here to support you, whatever you need."
"I know," he kissed her forehead, "and I'm so grateful."
"How is leftie feeling?" she asked as she gave his left arm a squeeze.
"My bicep feels great, it's just my forearm and fingers that are touch and go. I got them to wiggle a little bit after acupuncture today, which is a great sign, but it's still frustrating."
"Hey, Will showed me something," she chimed as she began massaging his arm methodically in the fashion he had demonstrated to her. Wilhelm was confident that Fitz's issue lied in circulation, and that once their was a constant supply of blood flowing to his fingers, his neural pathways would be reignited and utility rediscovered.
"Umm, how exactly did he show you _that_?" Fitz asked, perturbed at the thought of the man touching her.
"Fitz-" she started, her tone admonishing.
He smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
She shook her head and decided to gloss over the comment, "How does that feel?"
He closed his eyes, "Amazing, actually."
She leaned up and kissed him, her fingers still kneading his limb, "I love you, Fitz."
He gazed at her seriously, "I love _you_...Hey, look," he grinned as his brought up his pointer and thumb and it twitched, seemingly at his command.
"**_Seeee_**, I told you," she said as she pressed her lips onto his and pushed his back flat onto the floor. "You're going to be just fine in no time," she added before she began trailing kisses down his Adam's apple until she reached his collar bone and chest.
He slipped his hand up the back of her tshirt, tracing the small of her back before sliding his hand back down beneath her underwear to grip her ass firmly, simultaneously lifting his hips up off of the floor, anxious to grind into hers. She gripped his right nipple between her soft lips and he moaned so loudly he shocked himself. He had never known how sensitive his nipples were until Olivia put her lips on them.
She pulled back to admire his chest before bringing her lips back up to meet his. "And baby, if you're _ever_ hungry, or need anything, for that matter, wake me up. Seriously. That's what I'm here for," she emphasized as she raised his left hand and brought it to her lips. "But right now, I'm hungry, for you. I want to taste you, baby," she murmured onto his lips before making her descent back southward.
* * *
The sound of the door slamming and rattling against the frame was enough to shock Fitz out of his sleep with a start.
"Anybody home?" he heard a familiar voice rang out and his heartbeat slowed and began to return to a normal pace.
"Down here," he called back from his position on the ground and then Harrison's face was peering down on them from over the couch.
"Oh shit, my fault, you guys need a minute?"
"No, no, we're decent," he assured him. "Liv's fast asleep, though," he remarked as he looked down on her. When she was exhausted she could sleep through anything.
"Sorry for the intrusion, it's just I thought we were supposed to all be meeting at nine?"
"It's no problem, we just kind of fell asleep here by mistake. How'd you get up?" Fitz inquired.
"Well the door guy called up a few times, but you didn't answer. Since he knew me and I had the key, he let me up," Harrison explained, throwing the keys down onto the couch. "Liv let me hold those while you were sick."
"You should keep them," Fitz motioned at the keys.
"Really?"
"Definitely. In case anything happens, it's good to know someone we trust can get inside. Livi, sweetheart, wake up," he shook her gently.
"Huh?" she asked, opening her eyes sleepily.
"Harrison's here."
She looked over and took notice of his figure as he lowered himself onto the sofa, "Hey buck, fancy seeing you here."
"I'm beginning to feel like I made this meeting up in my mind. You guys are in here knocked out, and Huck and Quinn were also still in the bed when I last checked," he noted.
Fitz furrowed his brows in confusion, "Together?"
Harrison raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Oh, Liv didn't tell you?"
Olivia rolled her eyes, suddenly wide awake, "There's nothing to tell!"
"I thought Quinn was with Stephen?" Fitz asked curiously.
Harrison scoffed, "She is."
"So why are they sharing a bed?"
Olivia shrugged, "I'm sure they just fell asleep after staying up late. You're reaching, Harrison."
He shrugged, "If you say so."
"You should've roused them, I hope they're not still asleep," she scolded him, forgetting the fact that she was knocked out just moments ago.
"It would've been awkward," he explained.
"I'm gonna call," she said, moving to rise just as the buzzer rang.
Minutes later Huck was trailing Quinn as she brought her usual upbeat self to the party, "We come bearing _doooonutssss_," she sang as they joined the gang in the living.
"So, glad to see you guys!" Olivia greeted them as they sat, "I guess we might as well get started now. First thing's first: I should tell everyone that I lost the source that was going to get us the video," Olivia started off.
"**_What_**?!" Harrison huffed. "What the hell happened?"
Olivia glanced at Fitz quickly before turning back to the group, "It just..didn't work out."
"And that's all you're going to say about it?" he huffed in disbelief.
"Pretty much. However, it's not really that much of a loss in the grand scheme of things because we have Fitz right here, so he can tell us exactly what happened that day. Fitz," she gestured, giving him the floor.
"The day in question, Billy Chambers in no uncertain terms offered me fifty grand, a monetary bribe in exchange for a vote. I declined, more than declined, actually, I was pushing pretty hard for the opposition, and it looked like I was going to win. I was forewarned that Billy has meaningful ties to the owner of TYNE, which is the company that stood to gain the most from booting me out the picture. At this point, most of the night of the shooting is a blur to me, but one thing that still stands out in my memory is Billy's warning to me to 'get home safe. Billy is ruthless, and he'll stop at nothing to pad his pockets, and I'm not sure who all else is involved in the corruption."
The room was silent for a moment and then Huck spoke up, "Olivia, we know Jake Ballard was your inside guy."
"_What_? _**How**_?"
"I had Quinn follow you the night you brought back the photographs and we've been keeping tabs on him ever since. Quinn got a strange vibe from the guy. How much of what we've been working on does he know?"
"He knows we have reason to believe Billy's involved, at the very least, not much else."
"Hmmm...well I think he spoke to this Chambers character the other day," Huck replied.
"_**What**_?!" Fitz and Olivia both retorted in unison.
"Not exactly sure yet, but we need to find out what, if anything, they discussed. Does Jake have any reason to retaliate against us?"
Fitz cleared his throat, "Jake and I had a disagreement, of sorts, a couple days ago. We're not exactly the best of friends right now, but I don't think he would stoop so low as to sell us out to the guy who may have placed a hit on my life."
Huck stroked his chin, "Whatever happened, we need to move faster and gather more intel. I don't like working on speculation. I need to know where these guys' heads are at right now and what we have right now is not propelling us fast enough to prepare for the opposition."
"You're thinking something," Harrison chimed in, encouraging Huck to continue.
"We need to get inside of Billy's office and I have a plan on just how to do it. Fitz, I need you to call down to the mayor's office and make sure Quinn is still okay to get through security. I'll handle it from there."
* * *
Huck pulled into the lot and parked in the shadow of the enormous structure that housed the bustling hub of local government activity. Quinn had been inside of the edifice a number of times, under a number of different circumstances, but this time was vastly different, and he could tell she was anxious by the nervous tapping of her leg.
The pair had stayed up plotting and brainstorming until the wee hours of the morning, unwilling to succumb to slumber until they had thought of a viable guise under which to get into Billy's office. It was crucial that they be able to set up their own direct surveillance of his activities and, most importantly, gain access to his computer.
A quick glance at his schedule revealed that the latter half of his afternoon was blocked out for an out-of-office meeting, so this offer the twosome the best opportunity to gain entry to his workspace unaccosted since it would leave only his secretary as an obstacle. From past water cooler talk, Quinn had gleaned that Billy's current assistant was a young, entitled, recent graduate who had the little in the way of experience, but much in the way of influential familial connections.
The woman had a habit of parking in the handicapped spots closer to the edifice, preferring the risk of tickets and towing to the possibility of committing the fashion faux pas of wearing a bulky winter coat which would inevitably clash with her attire. Knowing this, Huck had come up with the plan to rent a small, nondescript truck with the requisite hookups in the hopes of luring her away from her post by pretending to haul off the young lady's car.
Quinn would play the good samaritan and warn the girl of the impending misfortune that she had witnessed by chance when she was returning from "lunch." While the secretary was off attempting to intercept Huck's faux tow, Quinn would have enough time to slip in and out of Billy's office, strategically planting the devices and disappearing before anyone was any the wiser. Hopefully, this would lead them to taking down Billy and his goons before they detected the infiltration and had a chance to formulate a counterattack.
"Hey," he grabbed her hand, "we come up with a different plan if you're not comfortable with this."
"No, "she gave him a brave smile, "I'm ready for this, I'm game," she insisted.
"Okay. I'll be in your ear the entire time and I'll keep her occupied for as long as possible. You have two and half minutes, at most. The Remote Access program should only take thirty-two seconds to install, and don't forget to leave the mic-"
"On the interior of the drapes,I remember, don't worry," she interjected, giving his hand a light squeeze, "I'm ready."
He smiled, "Alright then, go."
He watched as she slipped out of the vehicle and moved swiftly through the parking lot, blending the crowd of visitors, businessmen and civic officers as she entered the building. He moved the flatbed into position and kept his eye on the building as he listened pointedly to the sounds of Quinn making her way through security.
"Going upstairs now," she whispered in a hushed voice, the diamond studs in her lobes concealing the microscopic earpiece which allowed them to communicate.
"Okay. I'm in place," he responded.
He heard the click clack of heels on hard floors and moments later Quinn's cheerful voice was ringing in his ear, "Hey Donna, don't you drive a baby blue Audi?"
"Sure do, why do you ask?" the lady responded, her curiosity piqued.
"Oh, I could swear I just saw one in the parking lot being towed away. But I'm sure you wouldn't be crazy enough to park in the handicapped spots!" Quinn quipped knowingly.
Instead of a verbal response, he detected the sound of harried foot steps taking off in the background.
"Worked like a charm," she exclaimed and he could hear the grin in her voice, followed by the sound of a door closing, "I'm in!"
Huck slipped out of the car looked in the direction of the main entrance, seconds later he saw the petite blonde woman flying out of the building. He pulled his trucker hat down lower on his forehead and began his belabored demonstration of hooking up the sedan to the truck.
"Hey! Wait! Stop that!" she screamed wildly at him.
He looked over in her direction, "Sorry ma'am, you're illegally parked. You can pick your vehicle up in about twenty minutes at Tony's lot on 43rd, the fee is two hundred dollars."
"I'm not picking it up from anywhere! You're not allowed to do this!" the woman screeched.
"Program installed," Quinn's voice came through his Bluetooth clearly, "Mic in place, I'm on my way out."
"Consider today your lucky day, miss. I'm gonna let you go this once. Don't let it happen again," he scolded her as he jumped back in the driver's seat of the rental and left the angry woman standing there. Huck weaved through the lot as quickly as he estimated he could without drawing attention to himself and picked Quinn up from the side entrance where she was waiting, grinning ear to ear.
"Record timing," he applauded her.
"Tell me about it! I got something extra, too," she smirked, pulling a small black device from her pocket. "A phone," she explained before he could ask what it was, "and guess whose number is high on the list of recent calls?" she asked as she passed him the cellular phone.
Huck's eyes scanned the list and the number 617-555-3243 jumped out at him. "Jake Ballard," Huck huffed, "that bastard."
* * *
"So what do you guys want to do for dinner?" Olivia asked, wrestling her eyes away from the screen in front of her. It was barely four o'clock, but her mind was already on supper. Fitz had just finished up his session with Wilhelm and Harrison hadn't eaten anything but donuts since he had come over earlier, so she was sure the two of them had to be hungry as well.
"I could kind of go for some pizza," Harrison offered, "or maybe not," he added when he saw both Olivia and Fitz scrunch up their faces in disdain.
"I'm so over takeout," Olivia explained.
"Agreed," Fitz pitched in.
"Fine, well if we're talking about a home cooked meal here, you can never go wrong with steak!" Harrison declared.
"True," Olivia agreed, "you know, Fitz makes the best steak. Say babe, you up to cooking tonight? I'll be your helper," she smiled as she walked over to him.
"I would love to. When I was at General, I dreamt of pepper steak."
"Awesome, that means I have run to the supermarket quick. I just went grocery shopping last week, but Fitz eats like a starved man," she joked. "You wanna come with me babe?"
Fitz sighed, "I'm a little beat, Livi, Wilhelm worked me like a horse today. I was actually thinking of laying down for a quick nap. Plus, I would just slow you down, anyway."
"Not true, I move slowly anyway. But if you're tired...I'll make a list and bring back whatever what you'll need."
He kissed her, "That sounds perfect."
"Harrison, I know how much you hate grocery shopping, so I won't even ask."
"You know me too well," he chuckled.
"Alright, you dictate, I'll write the list," Olivia suggested, grabbing a notepad.
* * *
Olivia entered the Stop 'N Shop a little after four o'clock and assessed the crowd, noting that it was a lot emptier than she expected for a weekday afternoon. She grabbed a shopping cart and turned her iPod up to maximum volume, preferring her own jams to the elevator music, as she turned down the first row. Even though she had a list of the exact items she was at the store to purchase, she felt an irrational compulsion to go down each and every aisle, just in case something they were going to need was on sale. By the time she had made her way to the cashier to check out, she ended up leaving with a bag full of things as she hadn't originally set out to purchase.
She halfway across the parking lot, considering whether or not she should call Fitz to let him know she was about to be on her way back when she heard a voice that made her freeze, "_**OLIVIA**_!"
_Shit, fuck, what do I do? Why is he here? This is so awkward,_ she thought to herself as her legs made the decision for her to keep on walking.
"_**OLIVIA**_!" he called again, "So you're just going to ignore me?!" He added and the volume of his voice told her that he was closing the distance between them.
She stopped and turned to face him,"Yes, Jake?"
"_Yes_? **_Yes_**? That's all you have to say for yourself? _Seriously_?! Olivia, I thought we had an understanding," he demanded.
She looked around anxiously, "I'm not supposed to be talking to you."
"This is crazy. Are you afraid of him or something? Is he going to beat you if he finds out that you spoke to me?"
She sighed, "Jake, I can't-"
"No," he shook his head vigorously, "you are not just going to dismiss me! You owe me an explanation, you _promised_ me-"
"Look, I'm sorry that I promised you I wouldn't tell him, but I had to. There really wasn't any way around it. I should have warned you, and I shouldn't have promised that in the first place, to be honest, but he's not going to tell anyone. So you don't have to worry about it, _please_, don't worry about it, okay?"
"Liv, why are you letting him control you? We had a good thing going and now I'm in a fucked up predicament. _**Don't**_ do this to me. Does he have to vet all your friends, or just me? Why do you allow him to decide who you are and who you're not allowed to interact with?"
She shook her head, "I can't do this, I have to go," she called over her shoulder as she turned on her heels.
"Liv! _Olivia_!" she heard him call out behind her but she kept walking, "I **_really_** need to tell you something!"
She heard rushed footsteps behind her and without warning, her arm was being pulled in a backwards direction, "Olivia, this is _serious_-"
She looked down at her arm in his grip and then up at his face in utter disbelief, "_Take_ your hands **_off_** of me."
"Then **_listen_** when I'm talking to you," he growled.
Olivia pulled her arm back but he didn't budge, "_**Jake**_, let me go."
He yanked her small body towards him, forcing her bags to fall from her hand, "Just give me a sec-"
"You're hurting me," she whined and finally saw reason flash in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, letting go just as she snatched her arm back. Before he could react she flew out of his grasp, landing backwards onto the gravel with a forceful thud.
"Shit," he muttered, looking around to see if anyone had witnessed the scene.
"Uh, oh, ow," she groaned faintly and he kneeled down to help her up but she didn't move her body to rise.
"Are you okay?" he asked, but she only muttered incoherently in response. He leaned down further to raise her head, but as he slipped his head beneath the nape of her neck a sticky substance coated his fingers. He raised his hand to see blood and looked down to find they she had landed on a rock.
"_Fucking **shit**_! Just my fucking luck!" he groaned. "Liv, sweetie, look at me," he tried to rouse her but she barely opened her eyes. He shook her as gently as possible, "Olivia, how many fingers?"
"Ow," she whimpered, "hurts."
"Okay, okay," he plotted quickly as he gathered her in his arms and lifted her up off of the ground, "Jake is going to take care of you, okay? Everything's gonna be alright."
_What the fuck have I gotten myself into?_ he asked himself as he tried to move through the parking lot as inconspicuously as possible with an unconscious girl in his arms.
* * *
Fitz was deep into his nap when he felt a pull that drew him out of his sleep. "Livi?" he murmured, reaching out for her with clammy hands until he remembered that she had left to the store.
Looking at the clock told him that almost an hour had gone by since he had laid down and he wondered if she was back yet. He raised himself from the bed and made his way down the hall back to the living room to find her still absent.
Harrison looked up from his computer, "He rises," he commented, joking, "and look, ma, no hands!"
Fitz chuckled as he looked down and realized that in his haste he had forgotten his crutch and was pleased that he felt strong on his own two feet. "Didn't even mean to do it either!" he remarked.
"That's awesome, Liv is gonna be so proud."
"She will. Speaking of Liv, she hasn't gotten back with the groceries yet?" he asked, hoping that she had come back and stepped out quickly again.
Harrison glanced at his watch, "No, but she only left, like, fifty-seven minutes ago. You know how the supermarket can be, it's like a vortex. You go in for one thing and get caught up in all the pretty displays and coupon dispensers. Plus, Olivia is kind of a nut when it comes to food shopping, she's always calculating the price per pound to decide what's it's the best deal and all that jazz; it could be awhile. I'm sure she's fine."
"Yeah, that is true. It's just that she said she was only going to get a few things and Stop 'N Shop is only like ten minutes away," Fitz countered.
Harrison paused thoughtfully, "Well, you can call her if you want."
"No, no, I'll just wait, I guess," he replied quickly, feeling silly all of sudden. _She's twenty, not two, Fitz, she can handle groceries_, he chided himself, however he still couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right.
"Can I help you with something, Harrison?" he asked, hoping for something to distract himself with until his other half returned.
"For sure. How about you look at these records, pages twelve through twenty, and highlight whenever this number pops up?"
"Okay," he replied, happy to have something to occupy himself mentally. He was going to have to see about getting some work to do at home, because not having a job was making him unnecessarily clingy.
Fitz was getting deep into the groove of things when he looked up at the time and noticed that another thirty-five minutes had gone by since he had begun his task, and now he was really getting worried.
"Hey," he called out and Harrison looked over to him, "I think I'm gonna call Livi real quick, she must have a lot of stuff. I'm just gonna make sure she doesn't need help getting upstairs."
Harrison laughed, "You don't have to explain anything to me dude, she's your wife, call her," he urged.
Fitz smirked and his phone was in hand and the numbers dialing before the words were wholly out of Harrison's mouth. His stomach dropped when the line rang twice quickly and then was routed to the answering service, and before the automated voice had finished reciting that the number that he had dialed was unavailable, he was hanging up and calling again.
On the third dial, the line didn't even ring, it just went to voicemail which set off all of his alarms, forcing him to consider that his earlier apprehension may have been warranted. He sat staring at the background of his phone for a few seconds, a photo of them canoodling on the beach on their honeymoon staring back at him.
"She's not answering. It's going to straight to voicemail," he stated in a flat voice, willing himself not to overreact just yet.
"You think something's wrong?" Harrison asked.
"Something definitely isn't right."
"Let me check something real quick. Liv has a tracking program on her phone, let me see if I can locate her...It says her device's last ping back was about forty minutes ago, in the vicinity of the plaza that the supermarket's in. It must be turned off."
"Shit. Shit, shit, _shit_," Fitz gritted in a worried tone and then intercom buzzed loudly, shocking them both.
"Don't panic yet. That's probably Huck and Quinn now. We're gonna get to the bottom of this."
Within two minutes Huck and Quinn were filing into the apartment, "We have good news and bad news," Huck declared.
"We can't get in touch with Olivia," Fitz blurted out, ignoring Huck's statement.
"Where did she go?" Huck asked.
"Grocery store. What's your bad news?" Harrison demanded.
"Jake Ballard is definitely in touch with Billy. It's probably safe to say he's given us up. Contact began a couple of days ago, I'm assuming after your disagreement," Huck explained.
"_**Shit**_, I bet his ass has something to do with this, I fucking _know_ it!" Fitz bellowed.
"Wait, where did you say she went?" Huck asked again.
"Stop 'N Shop, down on Clover," Fitz elaborated.
"I know how to get into their security network," Huck exclaimed, jumping into Harrison's unoccupied seat in front of the computer. The crew gathered around behind him as he worked his technological magic and moments later he was fast-forwarding through the day's footage.
"That's her!" Fitz pointed out as the sight of her figure, however small on the screen, sent his heart into overdrive. They watched closely as she crossed the lot, two bags in hand, everything seemingly normal, until a figure began walking behind her.
"That's him, that's the fucking snake right there," Fitz seethed. Everyone was silent as they watched the scene play out on the screen, even though there was no sound to the video. As soon as Jake reached out to grab Olivia, Fitz could feel his blood bubbling, but the sight of him throwing her to the ground and then carrying her away really made his blood boil.
"I am going to _kill_ him," Fitz bristled as he slammed both hands the table.
* * *
When Olivia came to she was laying in a strange bed and her head was pounding as if someone had dropped an anvil on it. The black sky that filled the view of the window across from her informed her that it was nighttime, much darker than she recalled it being when she left the supermarket. She tried to sit up, but her head felt too heavy, and when she pursed her lips to speak, she could only formulate a groan.
"You're awake," Jake spoke up and she realized she wasn't alone.
Her stomach turned at recognizance of his voice, but she did her best to remain calm. "Where..am I?" she forced out the question through the pain.
"Unimportant," he deflected, "we need to talk."
"My head-"
"I took a look at it, it's fine," he countered dismissively, "This is all your fault, anyways, if you hadn't-"
"You _pushed_ me-"
"You **_pulled_** away from me and slipped on a patch of ice at the same time that I let go!" he screamed.
"You were **_scaring_** me," she retorted in the strongest voice she could muster.
"You were _not_ scared of me. If you're scared of anyone, it's _Fitz_, he has you trained like a little puppy dog. That's alright with you?"
"What do you _want_ from me?" she asked, ignoring his questions and accusations.
"You know, I don't know yet. But you forced my hand, Olivia. You put me in a bad position, and now a lot of people are in danger."
"What do you mean?" she inquired.
Jake sighed before speaking, "Billy is onto you, he knows."
"What? _How_?"
"I told him, that's how. You sicked your lunatic husband on me and I had to do what I had to do to protect myself. I couldn't chance Fitz blowing things up to get me fired and completely out of his crosshairs. But they're talking about hurting you, Liv, and as hurt as I am that you betrayed me, I don't want that for you. Fitz, I don't care what they do with him, but I don't want _you_ to get hurt."
Olivia scoffed at that, "Well I feel pretty hurt right now."
He moved from his chair and sat beside her on the bed, "It wasn't my intention to hurt you. You wouldn't let me tell you, you kept running from me."
He cupped her face and she tried to move out of his grasp but couldn't, "_Don't_," she growled.
"Stop _fighting_ me, that's why this all snowballed out of control in the first place! You don't realize how much you're selling yourself short by committing so early, and to _him, of all people_. You only love him because you have nothing else to compare it to. _**Why**_ did you tell him, Olivia?"
"He's my husband, I tell him everything," she explained simply.
Jake chuckled at that, "You think he tells you everything?"
She didn't hesistate, "Yes."
"Really, you do?"
"I do," she responded with as much confidence as she could muster. She wasn't exactly sure if she believed Fitz told her _everything_, but even if she knew for a fact that he didn't, she would never expose that weakness to someone like Jake.
"Then you're more of fool than I thought," he said, shaking his head in disgust. "I can bet my bottom dollar that he _hasn't_. I know things about him, Olivia, things I'm sure he hasn't told you. We served together, went on missions together, we did things that would frighten you."
She looked away, "That has nothing to do with me."
"Aren't you at least a little bit curious to know how much of a monster your precious Fitz has the capacity to be?"
She shook her head and repeated herself, "That has nothing to do with me."
Jake breathed in deeply, "Remember when you asked me what I wanted from you, and I said I didn't know? I lied. I know what I want, have been wanting, for awhile now. I want to open your eyes, Olivia, I want widen your world and your mind. I want to taste your lips and your tongue. I want to show you that Fitz is not the end all, be all...Close your eyes," he commanded her.
"_**No**_," she refused forcefully.
"Olivia, it may sound strange, but in order for me to open your eyes, I need you to close them first. Close your eyes."
"No, Jake, _stop this_ now, please," she pleaded and he stared at her expectantly. After what seemed like forever passed by with him just looking at her, she spoke "Jake, I-"
"Yes?" he asked hopefully.
"I have to- is it okay if I use the bathroom?"
He shook his head and rolled his eyes at her disdainfully before granting her permission, "Go."
She stood quickly and was just about to ask him which way the restroom was when she began to feel dizzy, standing too quickly in her hurry to put space between them. The rush of blood to the head hit her like a wave, then the room faded away and she felt her legs buckling beneath her.
* * *
Fitz sat beside Quinn in the back of the car as Huck drove and Harrison directed the navigation towards the location they believed Jake and Olivia were at currently. After trying to trace their steps from the supermarket, stopping by the Hilton and even his marital home, the crew had hacked Jake's e-mail and found that he had just begun renting a property on Elm street that was only minutes away.
Fitz's heart was in his throat and his mind was racing a mile a minute as he thought about what they could possibly be walking into. It was clear that Jake had ties to Billy Chambers, the depths of which was unclear, and it was entirely possible that this was some type of a trap to lure him and the rest of the team there, but at this point, he didn't care. He was going to get his Livi and didn't care care if he had to pay for her life with his own.
"Fitz?" a soft voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Yes, Quinn?"
"I just wanted to say that Olivia is strong, she's going to be fine, I just know it."
"Yeah," he replied unenthusiastically. He had a one track mind at the moment and casual conversation was not on it.
"Umm, also, I was just wondering...has Olivia spoken to you about anything...uh, _important_, lately?"
Fitz furrowed hs brows, "Could you be more specific?"
"Well, you know...about something, like, life changing?" she elaborated vaguely.
"Is there something I should know? Something that you know, that I don't?"
"That's what I'm asking you," she responded in true circular form.
"Quinn, not to be short with you, but right now isn't really time for riddles," he replied tersely, "So please, if this is about something serious, something that could affect Livi's health and well being, please just tell me," he pleaded.
"Ummm, uhh, well she said she would tell you if-"
"_Quinn_!"
"She's late. For her period," she blurted out finally.
"We're here guys," Harrison interrupted before Fitz could respond, his mouth hanging open.
"Thank you," he whispered to her as they climbed out of the vehicle, finally gathering his bearings.
The team eased up to the house quietly, with Fitz, Huck and Quinn standing off to the side as Harrison rang the doorbell.
"Who is it?" Fitz heard Jake's nasally voice call out through the wooden door, never guessing he would be tracked to his new address.
"Delivery," Harrison called back.
The door swung open, "Hey, I didn't order-" but before he could finish Harrison was bum rushing him and the other three were close behind for back up. In the blink of an eye Fitz was on him, his hands in a vice grip the man's thick neck.
"_**Where is she**_," Fitz growled as banged Jake's head forcefully into the hardwood floor. Jake tried to respond, but Fitz's death grip was blocking off his pathway. Fitz smashed his elbow into his nose and the man cried out in pain, "I will **kill** you, _right now_, where is she?!" he demanded.
"Hos-hos-pital, not here-" Jake struggled out as he coughed wildly in an attempt to recover oxygen.
"_You lying fucking bastard_," Fitz bellowed as he knocked Jake's bleeding head against the floor again, "I called _**every**_ fucking hospital, where is she?" Fitz demanded as he smashed his nose again.
He was drawing back to pound the man's face again when he felt Huck and Harrison dragging him away, "Fitz, you're gonna kill him before we get the intel," Huck reasoned.
Fitz drove his heel into Jake's head once more before he was pulled completely out of reached, "I want him dead, _tonight_."
"I swear," Jake wheezed through the blood, "I took her to the hospital. Didn't mean for-"
Fitz lunged for him again but Harrison caught him, "Give us a minute with him, Fitz, alright? We'll let you at him in a minute, just be easy for a second, cool?"
Fitz was seeing red, and he knew he was out of control, before he could formulate a response he felt his phone buzzing his pocket. He fished it out and answered when he saw a familiar number that he couldn't quite place.
"Hello, may I please speak with Fitzgerald Grant?" a woman's professional spoke.
"This is he, who's speaking?"
"I'm calling on behalf of Boston General Hospital, we have an Olivia Grant checked in here, and you're listed as the next of kin-"
"I'm on my way," he interjected before she could finish her sentence, "I'm coming right now."
As soon as he hung up his eyes went back to the sniveling mess of a man on the floor, he wanted to take care of him, personally. He felt Huck's hand on his shoulder, "Fitz, go to her, she needs you. You can trust us with this. Go."
* * *
Fitz swept into the room like a storm and before Olivia could even fully register his presence, she was up in his arms, his embrace and scent enveloping her. She breathed him in deeply and felt her body let go of the sigh it had been holding in.
He pulled back and cupped her face and she closed her eyes, waiting for his kiss, but when it didn't come she opened her eyes and saw the tears falling from his.
"Baby, I'm okay," she reassured him as she tried to kiss his tears away, "I'm okay, baby, don't cry."
He kissed her so gingerly that if her eyes weren't wide open she wouldn't have known he had done it, "No, you're _not_ okay. You're in the hospital and your head is bandaged. I'm supposed to be protecting you and I'm doing a terrible job."
"Fitz, _please_, don't say that, this is not your fault," she coaxed him, pressing her lips against his.
He shook his head, "It is, you asked me to come with you, I should have been there."
"Baby, no. You do an _**amazing**_ job at protecting me, but you can't be there all the time," she rationalized and he knew it was true.
"But I want to be."
"I know, and I want you to be, but you can't. Some people are just crazy," she reasoned resignedly, she couldn't let him blame himself for this.
"I saw what happened in the parking lot, Huck hacked into the security cam, I want to kill his ass, Livi, I was _this_ close. Did he..did he put his hands on you?" he asked hesitantly, afraid to know the answer.
"No...I don't know, I don't think so, I honestly don't recall much, it was so bizarre. I woke up on some bed, in some random house, and he was just _sitting_ there. He started asking me all kinds of questions and then when I stood up to use the bathroom, I fainted, then I woke up here. I don't really know," she finished quietly.
He sighed and stroked her cheek, "Don't worry about that right now, Huck and-"
"Fitz?" she interrupted him quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Baby, that's your _left hand_," she remarked, clearly shocked.
He smiled softly, "I know, crazy right."
"How in the world-?"
"Sweetie, I don't even know. Maybe it was the adrenaline," he hypothesized, flexing his hand, "I still can't quite make a fist, but hey, progress is a process."
"That's amazing, Wilhelm will be pleased. At least something positive came of today."
"That's one way of looking at things. How does your head feel?"
"Fine, I don't know what kind of painkillers they gave me, but I'm pretty high right now," she said, cracking a smile.
He laughed, "What the hell do you know about being high?"
She shrugged, "A little something, something...I know that when you kiss me, it feels like I'm walking on the sun."
He brushed his lips against hers, "Livi, that sounds painful."
"No," she beamed at him, "it's perfect."
He tucked a stray hair behind her ear, "You should get some rest."
She sighed, "I don't want to rest."
"I can go to the nurse's station and get the cable cut on-"
She grabbed the collar of his jacket before he could move from the bed, "No, you shouldn't. It's past visiting hours, they'll banish you to the waiting room-"
"Olivia, if they want me out of this room tonight, they'll have to have security physically remove me. I'm going to sleep right here, with you in my arms, and the way I'm feeling, they really don't want to try and stop me."
"Babe-"
He slid onto the bed and pulled her onto his him, "Livi, I'm not leaving your side tonight. Hospital protocol be damned."
She relaxEd in his arms and rested her head on his chest, "I don't need tv, I just want to lay here, with you."
He kissed her temple and slid a hand protectively over her abdomen, "I never stopped looking for you, Livi, even before I knew what happened, I promise you."
She gazed up at him unwaveringly, "I know."
"Babe, there's just one thing I need to ask you."
"Anything."
"Livi, are you pregnant?"
* * *
**A/N: Hope you guys liked this one! It was a little violent, but I think Joke bAstard deserved it! Or do you think fitz over did it? Was Quinn wrong for telling Fitz that Olivia was late? I'm curious to hear your reactions!**
25. Connections
Harrison, Huck, and Quinn stood staring at the front door for a few seconds before their collective attention was drawn back to the subject at hand by his violent hacking and wheezing as his body writhed in pain on the floor, still reeling from Fitz's blows.
Huck immediately dropped to his knees and popped opened his briefcase, withdrawing two pairs of metal fisticuffs and and tightening one set fast about Jake's wrists behind him and then securing the man's ankles in the same fashion. He rose quickly and went back to his luggage, pulling out a flour sack and the accompanying gag to silence and blind his captive for the time being to disorientate him.
After checking to make sure all restraints were properly in place, Huck turned back to Harrison and Quinn, "I need to take him someplace darker and start interrogating him. It's getting late."
"Why do you need someplace darker?" Quinn asked.
"For effect," Harrison spoke up on Huck's behalf. "Well that's all you, bro," Harrison offered apologetically. "You know that torture shit turns my stomach."
"I know the deal. Just help me carry him downstairs and then you and Quinn can start searching the house. Text me when you're finished."
"Alright, bet. Let's get moving then," Harrison answered.
"Can I help _you,_ Huck?" Quinn piped up.
"I work best alone, and besides, you wouldn't like it. Help Harrison," Huck ordered her.
"**_Come on_**, Huck. Haven't I earned my stripes already? I have the heart for this and you _know_ it! Give me a chance," she argued in a hushed whisper.
"Quinn, this is _not_ some experiment, some _test trial._ This is the real deal. A man's life hangs in the balance right now, and potentially many others," Huck challenged her.
"Don't you think I _realize_ that? At some point you had be a beginner, too. I have to start somewhere and what better learning opportunity than right here, right now?" Quinn goaded him, but Huck was still rather hesitant. Even with as much spy and detective work as the twosome had been performing together over the past several, Huck understood that physically harming someone in a premeditated fashion transported one to an entirely different realm of reality. Huck knew it would change her, how she viewed the world and the people in it, _especially_ him, and he wasn't completely sure if he wanted to be the one personally responsible for that paradigm shift. He weighed the pros and cons silently in his mind before verbalizing a response.
"Alright," Huck relented, "you can help."
"Yay," Quinn squealed quietly.
"But," he stopped her, "you _have_ to take this deathly seriously. This is not a joke - no smiling, no idle questions, and no matter what, be alert. Once we get him down into the basement, just follow my directions and do **_exactly_** as I say, no improvisations. If it gets to be too much and you can't handle it, remove yourself from the room, but you are expressly forbidden from asking me to 'stop,' at _**any**_ time. Got it?"
"Got it," Quinn agreed somberly. "So, what are we going to do to him?"
"We're gonna roast his ass, now get into place," Huck demanded.
* * *
Clutching Jake's ankles, Huck backed his way down into the basement, sure-footed and careful, as Harrison held the man beneath his arms and Quinn held onto what Harrison had affectionately dubbed as "The Briefcase of Brutality."
"Perfect," Huck thought as he took his eyes off of Jake and spared a quick glance around him at the unfinished basement. The unrefined, concrete walls were a dingy, brownish gray, the rafters were still exposed, and the single source of light in the room dangled from a thin string in the center of the ceiling, illuminating the room just enough to give the space a grungy, almost haunted feel.
_Yes, this will definitely do,_ he thought to himself.
The two men dropped their heavy load onto the unforgivingly hard floor thoughtlessly, regarding their captive as little as if he were an inanimate object instead of a human. Huck snatched the cloth sack from over Jake's head and removed the gag from his mouth. The man coughed and blinked incessantly for a few moments before spitting red on the ground beside him, "_I know exactly who you all are and where I am, if you don't-"_
Huck interrupted Jake's impending tirade with a swift kick to the chest, "**_Shut_** the fuck up and don't open your mouth again until you're asked a direct question. Understood?"
The man nodded and Huck turned to Quinn, "Briefcase."
Harrison took that very moment to make his wordless exit, the sound of his feet padding up the creaky stairs and the following thud of the door closing behind him reverberated throughout the basement with a looming sense of finality.
Huck rifled through his luggage until he spotted the box that he had brought along specifically for the Ballard bastard.
"Look," Jake's hoarse voice quivered, "I really didn't mean to hurt Olivia, this is just some big misunderstanding. I-"
Before Huck could respond, Quinn was beside Jake delivering a harsh elbow blow to his head.
"_**Christ**_!" The terrified man shrieked as he bowled over in pain, struggling against the restraints as he tried to to move his hands to his face to soothe the pain and Quinn gave Huck a quick smirk over his head.
_She is enjoying the way too much_, he thought to himself as he shook his head. He wondered if Quinn would find the next portion of the night's activities similarly enjoyable or if she would be the next one taking a trip out of the danger zone via the wooden staircase.
"Turn him over," Huck directed and the woman pushed Jake's limp body over with little effort. When she looked back to him for further direction he waved her over, wanting to allow her a closer look at his weapon of choice. Huck inspected the kit carefully, going over his mental checklist for the second time that night to make sure each piece of the apparatus was in place. He had tried a lot of different methods and mechanisms, but he had to admit that he enjoyed this particular one more than most others.
"What is _that_," Quinn whispered in awe, peering down over his shoulder.
"What we have here," Huck responded loud enough to make sure Jake could hear, "is our very own twenty-first century spin on Foot Roasting. A long time ago I was reading up on medieval torture methods and came across this blurb about a Christian Military Order called the Knights of Templar. Interesting stuff. Apparently their favorite way to wrangle a confession out of heretics was to put their feet to the fire, literally. It's really quite effective," he finished, making sure to emphasize te smile in his voice for effect.
Quinn raised her eyebrows and Huck continued, "Here, we have our electric hot plate with the temperature dial on the side, this knob allow us to reach heat of up to four hundred and fifty degrees. And these here," he lifted the iron shackles and they clacked ominously, "are our weights. Go ahead and fasten them about his ankles so that he can't thrash about," Huck directed as he stood and walked to tower over the man.
"Do you believe in God, Jake?" Huck asked inquisitively, but the man chose to stay quiet until a boot in his ribs jerked him up out of his sullen silence.
"Yes, yes, I do," Jake groaned out a hasty reply.
"Well, now might be a good time to send up a prayer, maybe he'll send me some _divine pity_ for your tragic ass," Huck mused. "But it might actually serve you better to take your destiny into your own hands. Now, I'm going to ask you some questions. Answer them. **Promptly** and _honestly_."
Huck took a seat on the back of the man's thighs and he heard Jake inhale a sharp intake of breath, "Make yourself valuable, and maybe, just _maybe, _you'll earn the right to walk out of here and live to furnish this basement someday. However, if you don't...well, you'll see. It goes like this: each time I don't like your answer, I'm going to instruct my assistant to turn up the heat on your bitch ass."
Huck paused for a second, "Hey, did you guys know that the soles of your feet are covered by the most heat sensitive skin on your body? You, _especially_, Jake, should keep that in mind going forward."
Huck turned to observe Quinn and found her face deadly serious, but her eyes glittering with what Huck thought to be a healthy mix between excitement and anxiety. "Two hundred," he ordered and Quinn's hands deftly moved to the power button and then began adjusting the dial.
_Maybe she is built for this_, Huck thought to himself as he shifted his body back to look down at a trembling Jake. He wondered if that glimmer in her eyes would disappear once the pungent odor of burning skin began wafting up her nostrils.
Huck turned his tangential thoughts off and began his interrogation, "Why have you been following Olivia?" he asked, his voice strong but lacking emotion.
"I haven't, I just happened at be at the supermarket and saw her car!" The man lied pitifully.
Huck sighed, "Maybe you don't understand how this game works, Jake. _**Up!**_" he called pointedly over his shoulder to Quinn and he felt Jake struggle in vain beneath him.
"I'm going to give you another shot at this, different question. Why have you been in contact with Billy Chambers? What have you two discussed?" Huck demanded.
"_**PLEASE**_," he cried, "stop this, I know who you want! It's Charlie Glass, not _**me**_! I'm begging you, I'll do _**anything**_, I know who he is, I'll take you to him!"
Huck paused thoughtfully before looking back at Quinn, "Off. Tell me more, Jake and we'll see what this is worth."
* * *
Fitz tucked a stray hair behind her ear, "You should get some rest."
Olivia sighed and gazed up at him, "I don't want to rest."
"I can go to the nurse's station and get the cable cut on-" he started.
She grabbed the collar of his jacket before he could move from the bed, "No, you shouldn't. It's past visiting hours, they'll banish you to the waiting room-" she rushed out worriedly.
"Olivia, if the staff wants me out of _this_ room tonight they will have to have security physically remove me. I'm going to sleep _right_ here, with _**you**_ in my arms. Honestly, with the way I'm feeling, they really don't want to try and stop me," Fitz assured her.
"Babe-"
He slid onto the bed and pulled her onto him, "Livi, I am not leaving your side tonight, hospital protocol be damned."
Olivia relaxed in his arms and rested her head on his chest, "I don't need the television, I just want to lay here, with you."
Fitz kissed her temple and slid a hand protectively down over her abdomen, "I never stopped looking for you, Livi. Even before I knew what happened, I promise you that."
She gazed up at him unwaveringly, "I know."
"Babe, there's just one thing I need to ask you."
"Anything."
"Livi...Are you pregnant?"
She sighed and closed her eyes, "Quinn spilled the beans, huh?"
Fitz grinned at her cheekily, "She did. But _only_ because we were extremely concerned about your safety. To Quinn's credit, she tried to ask me without _asking_ me, but I brow beat it out of her. I hope you won't be too angry with her...her heart was in the right place."
"I guess I can't be _too_ mad at her," Olivia tried to be understanding. "Under any other circumstances I would be extremely pissed, but in this predicament I can see why she mentioned it. I know I should have been the one to tell you...but I had convinced myself, and I thought Quinn too, that it didn't make sense to mention it to you unless I was absolutely positive, and when I had the conversation with her I hadn't known yet," she explained.
"So I'm guessing you're not, then," Fitz filled in the blanks somewhat disappointedly.
Olivia stroked his chin, "No, babe...I'm not pregnant. The doctor said I was probably just late from overall stress and thinking about it too much, I suppose."
"Livi, how come you didn't want to tell me?"
She shook her head, "I really just couldn't stop thinking about how happy you looked when we talked about our children in the future and I didn't want to see that look of disappointment on your face, if I could avoid it. I figured it didn't make sense to get you all worked up over nothing... you already are dealing with _so_ much, Fitz. I truly hadn't even planned on discussing it with Quinn, but we just kind of fell into it."
Fitz chuckled, "In a way, you're right, I probably would have been trying to pick out cribs and baby names if you had told me, even before anything was certain. And I won't lie, it is a teeny tiny bit disappointing, but Livi, I'm a big boy." He took her hand in his, "It would've been okay, it _is_ okay, I can handle it. There are a lot worse things to be disappointed about."
"Are you mad at me for not telling you first?" she asked hesitantly.
"No, _of course not_, I couldn't even wrap my head around being upset with you tonight. Besides, the idea of being pregnant is something I could never fully understand and I can see why it might have felt easier to discuss it with another woman. I've watched enough movies to know that most women tell their girlfriends before their husbands," he joked and Olivia cracked a smile. "But seriously, I want you to know that in the future, if that's something that you're concerned about, about me being disappointed, _don't_ be. You can tell me anything, sure **_or_** unsure, and there's nothing I'd love more than to find out about Baby Olitz together."
"Really?"
"Yes, most definitely," he reassured her.
"Babe...you know, we could start trying now...if you really wanted to," Olivia offered timidly.
Fitz raised one eyebrow, "Try _now_? For a _**baby**_?" he asked incredulously.
She smiled, "Yeah."
He breathed in deep, "Livi...while I'd absolutely _love_ to have baby number one on the way as soon as possible, now is definitely **_not_** the best timing. With all the crazy stuff going on around us right now... and being that my health still isn't one hundred percent and you haven't even graduated yet. As I much as I want to..." Fitz shook his head. He knew he couldn't be selfish on this, no matter what he wanted he was certain that it wasn't what she needed.
"Baby...are you sure?" Olivia asked. "I know you really want to start a family, and even though I was worried initially, the more I thought about it the more I kind of really liked the idea. I think I could handle school and a baby, I could do both," she tried to persuade him.
"Livi, I know you _could_ but the point is that you shouldn't _**have**_ to. We should try to conceive a baby time at a time when we're _both_ at a place where it won't be so impossibly complicated. You deserve that."
"Fitz, there's never going to be a perfect time, you know," she countered.
"I know that, and I'm not saying perfect, just _better_. I'm sure I'll still have baby fever in a few years when you're finished up with school. I absolutely refuse to get in the way of your dreams and I never want you to put yourself on hold to try to make me happy, seriously. For right now, _this_ is enough for me, more than enough for me. _**You're**_ more than enough for me. Why don't we wait to revisit the idea after you graduate, at least, alright?" he offered, feeling that this would probably blow over by then.
Olivia eyed him for a moment, stroked his cheek and then nodded in agreement, "Alright."
* * *
The couple crossed the threshold of their apartment the following morning after Olivia had undergone an extensive check up and was discharged. The doctor informed them that the three stitches that she had required due to the fall would dissolve, so unless she began experiencing migraines or other acute pain, she wouldn't need to return to the hospital and would be as good as new within days. After prescribing her a painkiller, the doctor promptly sent them on their way, but not before Fitz managed to put in a request for a wheelchair to transport her out to the car in, despite Olivia's insistence that she could walk just fine.
When the pair finally arrived in the building parking lot, Fitz had immediately draped his arms around her, an offering of wordless support as they made their way up to their love nest. As soon as the door closed behind him, Olivia felt herself being lifted off of her feet. "Baby, whoa, what are you doing?" she shrieked, pushing forward to stop him from completely taking her feet off of the ground.
"Carrying you," he grinned down at her as she resisted in his arms.
"Fitz, _**no**_," she warned him seriously, "you shouldn't strain yourself."
He kissed her temple, "Livi, I'm _fine_."
Olivia finally turned around his arms and took his face in her hands, "You're doing much better, but you're not completely fine yet."
He pressed his forehead down onto hers, "Baby, put your arms around my neck."
She sighed, but wrapped her arms around his neck, "Fitz-"
He interrupted her with a kiss. "_**Quiet**_," Fitz murmured as he scooped her up quicker than she could protest and moved them down the hall swiftly, stopping when reached the foot of the bed. He laid her on the bed gently and knelt down before her, taking off her shoes first, then her pants and top.
He kissed both sides of her head before pulling back to gaze down at her. "Don't move," he whispered as he moved to her dresser drawer across the room, opening the top most drawer before abandoning it in favor of his own. He rummaged through his dresser for a few moments before removing one of her favorite shirts, his huge, old blue t-shirt with the white **NAVY** insignia boldly emblazoned upon the front. Even though Olivia wore the shirt more often than he did, she liked to store it amongst his things where it would mingle with his other clothes, so that later she could revel in his scent.
"Is this one okay?" Fitz asked playfully as he walked over to the bed, already aware that it was her favorite.
"Perfect," she grinned as he handed it to her and crawled into the bed next to her, pulling her onto his chest.
"Aren't you going to get undressed, too?"
Fitz slipped his hand under the shirt to rest on her ass, "I'm thinking about going down to campus really quickly."
A puzzled look settled across Olivia's face, "What? Why?"
"I was actually thinking about it since this morning, before you woke up. I need to go speak with Eric, the president. He mentioned a lot of things at our initial meeting that I should have taken more seriously and I want him to expound on a few things. I have a distinct feeling he may just have some of the information we need," Fitz explained.
"So why did you take off my clothes? I'm going with you," she told him simply.
"_No_, **_you_**, my sweet baby, are going to lay in the bed and _rest_, just like the doctor ordered," he replied seriously.
Olivia pouted, "Baby, I think riding in the car hardly counts as strenuous."
"I know but things are just so unpredictable right now, I'd rather not chance it. Sleep for a bit, I'll call Harrison and ask if he can come over and chill out with you," Fitz offered.
"Oh, **_come on_**!" Olivia exclaimed, "Now I need a babysitter? Fitz-"
"It's _just_ for in case you need something. Or if someone pops up here unannounced."
"He should go with _you_, if anything," Olivia countered.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I mean, what are the chances of me getting shot twice in the same year?" Fitz joked lightly and Olivia's face dropped.
"Fitz, that is **_so_** not funny, not even a little bit!"
"Okay, too soon," he admitted. Fitz realized that this was going to be his first time going out without her since the incident and she was probably more than a little apprehensive about it, and with good reason, so it wouldn't serve him well to poke fun. "I'm promising you, I'm not going to make any waves. I'm going to make it back in one piece. I'm just planning to drop by Cyrus' office since he's been asking to see me for awhile now and then head up to Eric's to have a little chat. That's it."
She furrowed her brows, "You think the president will see you without an appointment?"
"Shit, he'd better," Fitz grumbled.
Olivia nodded, "Just text me when you get there and call me when you're on the way back?"
"Of course," he kissed her forehead. "You don't mind if I take your car, do you?"
"_Our_ car, and the keys are in my bag by the front door. Are you leaving now?"
"No, I'm not leaving until my beautiful wife falls asleep in my arms," he told her as his arms tightened about her waist and he gave her bottom a squeeze.
Olivia grinned, snuggled in closer to him and kissed his jaw, "I love you, more than anything, baby."
"I would tell you I love you more than everything, but you _are_ everything," Fitz whispered just as he felt her leg being thrown over his midsection and her lips pressing impatiently against his mouth. Olivia's warm hands were suddenly snaking up under his shirt and the sensation of her fingernails dragging across his spine was enough to make him harden instantly.
"_Hmmmm_," Fitz moaned against her mouth as their hips ground together rhythmically.
When he felt her lithe fingers trail a path over his rib cage to pinch his nipples Fitz pulled back and peered at her through hooded eyes, "If you keep kissing me like that, I'm _never_ going to make it out of here."
"That's the point," she smiled seductively, her eyes shimmering with mischief.
"Turn around," he breathed, knowing any more strategic movements of her body against his would cause him to have to delay his outing.
She brought his face down onto his and kissed him temptingly before suddenly snapping back out of his mouth's reach and swiveling in his arms, abiding his previously ignored request.
Fitz put his face in her neck and smiled onto her skin as he readjusted his hold around her middle, planning never to let go.
* * *
Fitz exited the apartment building and headed back out into the sunny, but brisk morning air. The sun shone brightly in spite of the chill in the air and as he crossed the parking lot in the direction of Olivia's car the bright, white vehicle gleamed in the light of the strong rays. He shot Harrison a quick text message before pulling off towards campus and deciding enroute that he would swing by the President's office first. Since Fitz didn't have an appointment he figured it would behoove him to get there as early as possible so that he could finagle his way into Eric's office before the day became hectic.
Within fifteen minutes Fitz was rounding the corner and encountering the president's secretary working busily at her post.
"Hey Mary, how are you?" Fitz started off casually, hoping it would lower the woman's defenses. "Would Eric happen to be available at the moment?"
Mary looked at him over the rim of her glasses, "I'm sorry, do you have an appointment Professor Grant?"
"Well, no," Fitz admitted glumly, "but I only needed to run something by him quickly, it's very important."
"The President doesn't take walk ins-" the older woman began to serve him the spiel.
"Mary," Fitz interrupted, not unkindly, "Eric and I have a _special_ project that we're working on together and it's super critical that I update him on its development. City Hall stuff. I know you have a job to do, and so do I, and I'm certainly not trying to give you a hard time or get you in trouble, but would you mind at least giving him a little ring? If he declines to see me, I'll turn around and walk right out of here knowing that I tried, but I need to know if he might even have a slim chance of fitting me in. So _please_, would you be so kind as to call him and let him know that Fitzgerald Grant is here? I promise this isn't any funny business," he added with his million dollar smile.
Mary eyed him carefully for a moment before acquiescing, "Have a seat over there, I'll telephone him as soon as I'm done with this e-mail."
"Don't mind if I do," Fitz smiled gratefully as he seated himself.
Less than a minute later the previously shut door swung open, "Fitz! What the _hell_ are you doing here, buddy?" Eric grabbed him in a bear hug, "I thought you were recovering!" Eric almost bellowed as he offered out a hand.
"I am," Fitz grinned as he shook his hand enthusiastically.
"Well Jesus, you look great. Did you get the card and flowers?" the man inquired.
"I did, and thank you."
Eric waved him off, "Don't mention it, it goes without saying. I only ask because some of those hospital guys are thieves in scrubs! My mother went in for surgery with thirty bucks and a stick of gum in her pocketbook, do you know they cleaned her out? Didn't even leave the gum for Christ's sake! Come the hell in!"
Fitz followed the man into his study and sat, "Thanks for seeing me, Eric, and on no notice at that."
"It's the very least I could do, Fitz. When I heard what happened to you I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. I feel as if we lured you into the devil's lair with gasoline boxers on," Eric replied apologetically.
"Please, don't blame yourself. There's no way you could have known. I made my choices as a man and I stick by them. I didn't only accept the task to stand up for Harvard in the face of greed for my own benefit, I also felt honestly moved when you informed me about the avarice and corruption that was influencing the agenda. I couldn't be complicit in their underhandedness," Fitz explain.
"I see that now, and it was for that very reason that your Co-Councilman Lewis moved to have the vote tabled until your return, and which man in the room could vote against that with you in the hospital? None. We still have a chance at this!"
"That's wonderful, and I fully intend to keep pushing for this initiative, but I do have questions for you Eric," Fitz countered.
The president sat back in his seat, "Questions like why, even with all the murmurings about the obvious connection between your political alignment landing you in the crosshairs of Chambers and McKinney, the police are refusing to explore that as a possibility? And questions like why, exactly, would the instruction to avoid going down that channel be given to Boston PD directly from the mayor's office? Questions like what exactly is the connection between Chambers, McKinney and Reston?"
Fitz was taken aback but did his best not to show it, "Yes, questions exactly like those."
Eric leaned forward in his chair again and dropped his voice to a lower tone, "When you have wealth, real wealth that comes with connections and all the trimmings, you can buy pretty much anything. Cars, yachts, planes..._political candidates...**vote rigging machinery**_."
Fitz gasped, "You're not saying..."
Eric nodded, "I know you're wondering how I know all this, and I'm going to fill you in. Just let me start from the beginning."
* * *
Fitz strode down the hallway feeling powerful. He finally seemed to have a leg up on Chambers and knew something so explosive that it could blow both Chambers and Reston away. The major questions were, how could they obtain the proof and what the hell were they going to do with this information? Fitz turned that question over in his mind as he mindlessly continued his journey to Cyrus' office. He was passing by the large glass window that peered out onto the green and also happened to offer of a view of the faculty parking lot when something caused him to freeze him dead in his tracks.
In the scene playing out below, two figures standing beside a cobalt blue Jetta seemed to be engaged in a heated argument. That alone was not what caught his attention, , though, even more interesting than that, something seemed oddly familiar about the pair.
Fitz stepped closer to the paned glass and squinted his eyes, finally realizing that the woman gesturing wildly was Professor Tanner, as confirmed by her recognizable stature, jacket and hair cut, even from the distance. The man's identity eluded Fitz for a moment, but his instincts were yelling to him that somehow, he knew the man with the bright blonde hair, wool coat and tailored black slacks.
"Billy Chambers?! What the hell?! How in the world do those two know each other?" Fitz muttered to himself incredulously.
"_**Fitz**_? What the hell, am I seeing things?!" a familiar voice called out.
Fitz pried his eyes away from the window just in time to face the direction it had come from, "I was just coming to see you Cyrus," he replied discontentedly. "Where are you coming from?" he asked, noting that he had rounded the corner that led from the conference room.
Cyrus' nostrils flared, "From _hell_! Interviews for a new addition to the law department for next year, and it's no fun, I _promise_ you. I should be grading papers, I don't have time for this shit!"
"New addition? _Already_? Who's being replaced?" Fitz inquired.
"Amanda Tanner, " Cyrus replied simply.
Fitz raised his eyebrows in surprise, "She was fired?"
"Not exactly. It _just_ so happened to be time for a review of her contract with the department and **_we_** decided not to renew it for next year," Cyrus explained with a wink. "You two asked me to handle the Tanner problem, and, _voilá_, it's handled."
* * *
**A/N: This one is a bit shorter, but I hope you still enjoyed? What did you think of Liv's offer to start a family? And Amanda Tanner popping back up? Let me know what you guys think, thanks!**
26. Questions
Olivia was floating somewhere in a distant dreamland when she felt the weight of a hand on her forehead. Instinctually somehow, her body was able to register even in her deep slumber that the touch did not belong to Fitz and immediately she was conscious. Alarmed, her eyelids flashed open to see two familiar eyes observing her as curiously as if she were an alien species.
Harrison jumped back at her sudden awakening, "Shit, you scared me!"
"Weirdo," Olivia shook her head as she sat up. "How could **_I_** have scared _you_, when you're in my bedroom watching _me_ sleep?"
"You know what I mean," he grinned at her. "I was just trying to make sure you weren't running a fever, or had stopped breathing, or something. Fitz said you had a mild concussion. How are you feeling? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I feel alright. It sounds a little more severe than it is. You know I've been knocked around a lot worse than this."
"Sheesh, don't remind me," Harrison mused as he plopped onto the bed beside her. "What exactly did the doctor say?"
"He basically just prescribed me something for the pain for a few days and advised me to avoid having any more '_accidents_.' At least for a while. It's only a few stitches, though, really. I'll live. Yesterday as a whole was just bizarre as hell. I'm still unsure what to make of it."
"Tell me about it," Harrison prodded.
"I don't know, I was passed out mostly so there's not too much to tell. I was in the super market and Jake appeared and he just seemed so...agitated. He was really pissed at me and for some reason, he really has it out for Fitz. Swears that he's beating me into submission, even though I've only had two, maybe three conversations with the guy. I don't know what exactly he was planning to happen, but when he asked me to close my eyes I almost pissed myself! I just want to forget the whole thing. Goodness, and I thought Edison was nutty."
Harrison chuckled, "Wow. I don't know, Liv. It seems like something in your milkshake brings all the crazies to the yard!"
Olivia slapped his arm playfully, "Oh, shut up. Fitz is not crazy!"
He shook his head,"Psychotic? No. But _definitely_ his own brand of crazy. If you could've just seen him yesterday, you would agree. Don't get me wrong, I was worried shitless too and under any other circumstances I definitely would not have been so calm, but Fitz was doing enough tripping out for the both of us. Straight hulk smash mode!"
Olivia laughed, "I'm sure you're exaggerating."
Harrison snickered, "Not even a little bit. I think he may have even turned a little green. That man loves your dirty drawers."
She scrunched up her face, "Eww, Harry, that's disgusting."
He waved her off, "It's a figure of _speech_. Anyways, you won't have to worry about that fool or his delusions anymore. It's being handled."
"Really? What are they doing to him?" Olivia inquired, unsure of if she actually wanted to hear all of the details.
"Well after Fitz beat him like he like he stole something, I'm not exactly sure. You know I try to stay far away from the overtly messy side of things as much as I can. I helped Huck carry him down to the basement and then went off to search the house and computers and stuff. From what they tell me, this dude didn't even last a good ten minutes before he started copping a plea. Huck and Quinn were able to get some intel from him, but then he passed out. I literally almost threw up when I had to help bring him back up to the living room and I got a close look at his feet. It was seriously a grizzly sight. _Rumpelstiltskin's_ feet probably looked better than his. It almost looked like that time when I tried to cook those eggs sunny side up style when I was eleven, or-"
"Okay, I get it, enough with the imagery," Olivia interjected. "Continue."
"_Anyway_, when he came to this and seemed alert enough, the three of them worked out a plan. He's supposed to be taking us directly to this Charlie dude, but honestly, it feels super sketch to me. Nevertheless, they're confident about the whole thing so we'll see what happens. Huck's supposed to hit me up when the ball is in motion a little later. But look in the meantime, I have an idea."
"What are you thinking?"
"Remember how Huck had Quinn install that remote access software on Billy Chambers' computer? Last night I was looking over his personal e-mail and in a random folder I found an e-receipt sent to him from a storage facility about fifteen minutes from here on Old Gick road. I'm wondering why a single man living in a mini mansion would need additional storage space? I'm thinking he must have some _things_ he doesn't want uncovered in case of an unplanned search and seizure. We need to know exactly what the hell he has hidden in there, it could possibly be of use to us. You said you're feeling okay, right?" Harrison asked hopefully.
"Yes, sir. Tip top shape," she replied convincingly.
"Are you up for an adventure?"
"Since when am I not?" Olivia answered.
"True. Well jump in the shower quick, get dressed, we're going on a bear hunt," Harrison roused her as he stood.
"Umm, how do you plan on getting into the unit?"
"Can't go over it, can't go under it, I guess we've gotta go through it," he replied flippantly.
"Right, but _how_?" Olivia emphasized.
"You just let old Harrison worry about that," he reassured her.
She shook her head as she rolled out of the bed to get ready for what had the makings of an interesting day, "You are nuttier than a snickers bar, did you know that?"
"This, Harrison knows well. Now hurry up, let's move," he urged her.
* * *
Olivia fiddled with the car radio dials while Harrison let the car warm up a bit and dug through his messenger bag to make sure all of his tools were in place before starting the car and hitting the road. The last thing he wanted to have to do was go back home after making the journey there. Turning the key in the ignition and slowly pulling out of the parking lot, Harrison glanced over at Olivia still trying to find a decent station on the radio and chose that moment to speak up.
"So Liv," Harrison started off hesitantly, unsure of if now was the right time to broach the topic. "I've really been wanting to talk to you about something."
Olivia turned to him with concern written on her face, "What's up? Everything okay?"
He tilted his head in consideration of the question, "Sort of, kind of, but not really, which is why I wanted to talk to you about this before I acted. It's about Quinn...I think we may have a '_pretender_,' if you will, in our midst," he explained.
"Oh lord, _**Harrison**_," Olivia replied exasperatedly. "I thought we were past this?"
"No, just wait, before you '**_Harrison_**' me, hear me out! Now I know you think I'm just jealous or what have you, and maybe on some tiny, indiscriminate level I may have been, at _first_. Hey, I'm only human. But I'm telling you, it's deeper than that. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to shake the notion that something truly strange is up with her. To be frank, I simply do not trust her, Liv." Harrison confessed.
"Maybe it's just a function of time, Harry. Think about it, we really haven't known her all that long. Give her a chance to grow on you. I know you're used to charming the pants off of everyone you meet, but maybe you two just don't connect on some fundamental level. It happens, and that's okay," Olivia tried to coax him.
"_Uhn-uh_," Harrison shook his head. "It's way more than that. Just listen to this: a couple of days ago at about six or seven in the morning when the rest of the house was asleep, Stephen came by making a real _stink_ and something he said really stood out to me."
"What did he say?" Olivia inquired.
"He goes, '_You guys think you know her, but you don't. She's not who you all think she is. All you see is her sweet, demure facade, but you don't really know her_.' Now what in the hell do you think **that** is supposed to mean?"
"I don't know. It is a little ominous, but he could have meant a lot of things by it, or nothing at all. He's probably just angry that she hasn't been home much and jealous that she's been spending so much time with Huck. I highly doubt it means little more than that," she tried to convince Harrison.
"Right, that's what I thought at first, too, but it really set me to thinking. So I ended up running some background checks on her, Livia," Harrison blurted out.
"_Harrison_!" Olivia shook her head vigorously, he was beginning to take this far.
"_What_?" He asked unabashedly. "What _else_ was I supposed do? We know her, but we don't _**know her, **know her_. Think about the things we do, and _have been doing_ in her presence? Things that could get us locked up, all of us. We have to protect ourselves wherever possible. I don't know that girl from a can of paint, what else could I do? I figure, if everything is copacetic then it should be okay because there won't be anything questionable to find, _right_?"
Olivia sighed, "I guess. Did you end up finding anything?"
Harrison scoffed, "Not really...Not under Quinn Perkins, anyway. Which I found to be even more strange. At that point I continued scouring the web and that's when I remembered her mentioning that she graduated from a Greenberg High School, but didn't say in which state. She also let slide once that her senior year of high school, the robotics team she was on won the National Title. Sure enough, after some searching, I found an article covering the winning team and there's a picture. I printed it out, open up the glove compartment."
Olivia opened the compartment to fish out the paper and her eyes were immediately drawn to the young Quinn in the photograph and then down to the caption beneath the picture listing all of the team members. She paused when she realized that in the place where Quinn's name should have been, she instead found the name "Lindsay Dwyer," highlighted in green.
"What in the..." Olivia muttered to herself.
"**BOOYAO**! I told you I am _not_ fucking crazy! I know! _Harrison_ knows! Now this _Quinn..._ _**IF**_ that's her real name-"
"What do you mean _'if_,' clearly, it's not," Olivia interrupted.
"I know, but I've just always wanted to say that line," Harrison admitted with a shrug. "But for real, this fraud needs to be confronted."
"_Relax_ cowboy. I know you're souped to be vindicated, but did you stop to think about how this is going to affect Huck? They're really close, he might take this hard," Olivia explained.
"The truth is the truth. He should thank us for bringing this to his attention!" Harrison replied exasperatedly.
"But I doubt that he _will_, is the point. It's not that cut and dry. Honestly, I don't understand how this could even be. She had references that I could swear Fitz verified. How could she have upheld this elaborate identity scheme under such strict scrutiny?"
"Well _that_ part of her life may indeed be true. I called her law school and she was on the record there, so she may not be a complete fraud, but still. Quinn, Lindsay, _whatever_ her damn name is, is playing us false."
"Damn, _damn_, **_damn_**. Let's just not jump to conclusions just yet, okay? We don't what she's been through and there must be some type of explanation for this," Olivia retorted sympathetically.
"Oh I'm **_sure_** there is and I want find out just what the hell that explanation is."
"I know you don't particularly care for her, but let's give her a chance to explain first before we jump down her throat. She hasn't done anything for us to think she's dangerous to us, in fact she's helped us. But hey, that's Old Gick right there so let's just put that on the back burner for a moment. Make a left at the light," Olivia instructed him.
"Awesome, we're looking for number 1066," he informed her as he slowed his speed to abide by the ten mile per hour speed limit of the storage facility.
"Even ending units are on the right so go all the way to the end. It looks like its starting from number one here. We're gonna have to go upstairs. So, explain to me how **_exactly_** are we getting into this thing, again?"
"Ever heard of a skeleton key?"
"Only on the Internet," she admitted.
He laughed, "YouTube is man's best friend. Something tells me Chambers is not the type of dude who uses combination locks, so I have this thingamajig here that I'll insert where the key should go and it will create a quick wax mold. This way I can see what the internal chambers are like, swivel these little grooves around to match it, and **bam**. Supposed to work like a charm."
"And if that doesn't work?" Olivia asked doubtfully.
Harrison nodded at the box in the backseat, "Take a look in there and you'll find a pair of steel clippers and a master lock. Harrison _stays_ prepared."
"Okay, I am _really_ going to need you to cut that third person shit _all_ the way out," Olivia replied, rolling her eyes with a laugh.
"Harrison will think about it. Yo, there goes 1060 right there so we must be close. Grab that box in the back, it's mostly empty besides the clippers, a lock, a couple of small flashlights and a blanket. I need you to stand next to me and cover my back while I'm adjusting the key because I'm pretty sure there's closed circuit surveillance. Here's a baseball cap to hide your face. I know how much you just love the Yanks," he teased.
"Harrison, we're in _Boston._ Are you trying to get me killed?"
"Sorry," he laughed, "It was all I had. You ready?"
Seconds later the car was in park and the pair was ascending the steps to the second story storage unit to find lucky number 1066. The small locker was in the back of the hallway, strategically located out of the direct eye of the camera. Feeling the pressure of time, Harrison managed to pick the lock in less than forty seconds. Pulling the metal door down behind them, the two stood inside of the eight by ten unit before two medium sized, but elaborate, tool storage cabinets in the light of their small, but powerful flashlights.
"You take the left, I take the right?" Olivia offered.
"Bet," Harrison agreed and they set to work.
Olivia and Harrison began quietly and methodically searching through the drawers of the tool systems side by side. Olivia was sorting through the mechanical junk in the third tier of the cabinet when her hand grazed over something carefully taped to the the back of the drawer.
She nudged Harrison for his attention. "Hey, look at this," she whispered, illuminating the spot with her flashlight to reveal a small translucent case. Olivia scraped at the tape with her nails until the the small piece of plastic was in her hand and they could both see the memory chip inside.
"_Oh shit_," Harrison whispered back excitedly, "I think we might've hit the jackpot with this one!"
* * *
"Fitz? What the hell! Am I _seeing_ things?!" a familiar voice called out and Fitz finally was able to pry his eyes away from the window just in time to face the direction it had come from.
"I was just coming to see you, Cyrus," Fitz replied discontentedly. "Where are you coming from?" he asked, noting that he had rounded the corner that led from the meeting conference room.
Cyrus' nostrils flared, "From _hell_! Interviews for a new addition to the law department for next year, and it's _no_ fun, I promise you. I should be grading papers, I don't have time for this shit."
"New addition? Already? Who's being replaced?" Fitz inquired.
"Amanda Tanner, " Cyrus replied simply.
Fitz raised his eyebrows in surprise, "She was fired?"
"Not exactly. It _just_ so happened to be time for a review of her contract with the department and it so happens that _we_ decided not to renew it for next year," Cyrus explained with a wink. "You two asked me to handle the Tanner problem, and, _voilá_, it's handled. And quite beautifully, might I add."
"Oh, yeah... About that, thanks," Fitz responded lazily. The woman and her sordid deeds had become little more than a shadow of an afterthought with all of Fitz's more recent, far more pressing troubles.
"Gee, that's all I get? You know you _could_ stand to be a little more enthusiastic about it, but you've been shot, so I'll let it slide this time. Come on tiger, follow me to my office," Cyrus motioned as he continue his path down the hall.
Fitz chuckled at that, "Sorry Cy, it's just that it has been a trying, hectic, last twenty four hours. I have a lot going on and a lot on my mind. One of them being that I could swear that I just saw Amanda out there in the parking lot with someone I know. What a strange pairing," Fitz rambled, mostly to himself.
"Who, Chambers?" Cyrus mused as he sat behind his desk and Fitz closed the door and took a seat as well.
"Yeah, do you know him?"
Cyrus scoffed, "Only in passing, but enough to know I don't care for him. He's a smart-mouth little _shit_ and he grinds my freaking gears. But enough about him, how is Olivia doing? What has she been up to?"
"Olivia is doing fine, she's at home trying to get some rest. You know I can be a handful," Fitz jested.
"Great. Please, _do_ remind Sleeping Beauty to answer her email sometime in the near future! I need a response, and pronto!"
"A response pertaining to what?" Fitz asked candidly, his curiosity piqued.
"About getting her some credit for this semester, that's what! She hasn't mentioned it to you yet? We were emailing back and forth with one another up until yesterday afternoon and then she went ghost on me." Cyrus shook his head frustratedly, "I am up to my _ears_ in midterms and essays, and then to top it off I have these interviews, while simultaneously transitioning into my Presidential duties. I'm absolutely **swamped**. I proposed that if she takes care of the grading and distribution for me, I'll give her the A as a final grade for this that class that we both know she deserves. I thought Olivia would be absolutely jumping for joy at this opportunity, because otherwise she'll have to change her major."
"What? Why would she have to do that?"
"Because the Law and Persuasion course is required for her degree and if _you_, her husband, are teaching the class next year, she would be prohibited from enrolling in it. Nevertheless, if she does this-"
"Cyrus, it's **_done_**. It's no problem, she'll do it," Fitz interjected.
Cyrus breathed a sigh of relief, "Excellent, you can also let her know that I did a little lobbying on her behalf. I spoke with Professors Stephenson and McKee, who are also willing to give her the credit for their courses as well, at my behest."
"That is amazing, Cyrus! Liv's going to be absolutely ecstatic when she hears this."
"I know she will! The only louse who I couldn't get on board was Lumpkin, you know him, he teaches the logic course. Who knew philosophers took their craft so seriously?" Cyrus huffed.
"I never liked that guy anyway, but hey one retake is better than four. She can probably still graduate on time, given this," Fitz realized happily.
"It's nice to have friends in high places, isn't it?" Cyrus asked as he draped his arms across his chest, clearly pleased with his own handywork.
"It truly is. Thank you, Cyrus, sincerely I mean that. I'm going to head out now, but where are those papers and when do they need to be back? I'll bring them home to her right now and get them back to you as soon as possible!"
* * *
As soon as he exited into the parking lot, Fitz called his physical therapist quickly and afterward promptly began blazing the trail home. He was in traffic on busy Broadway at a red light, checking out a website on his phone while waiting for the light to change, when he heard a car honk twice nearby. He looked around and didn't see any cars he recognized so he went back to his phone when it began to ring in his hand and the caller ID declared that Harrison was on the line.
"What's up, Harrison?" he greeted him, hoping nothing had gone wrong in his absence.
"Are you heading east on Broadway, behind a yellow car in the center lane?"
Fitz furrowed his brows, "Was that you honking to get my attention? Is Olivia with you?"
"But of course. Pull over into the parking lot behind Lillian's on the next block, we're hungry and it's lunch time."
"Sure," Fitz replied just before Harrison ended the call and he couldn't help but wonder what the two of them were doing out and about when Olivia had been fast asleep when he left her just a couple of hours ago.
Fitz turned into the small lot and before he could fully close the car door behind him Olivia was in throwing herself into his arms.
"Hi," she beamed up at him and he couldn't stop himself from lifting her up off of her feet.
"Hi beautiful," he replied with a kiss.
"I have to use the bathroom," the couple heard Harrison's voice call out from behind Olivia somewhere as he zoomed by them in the direction of the eatery. "I'll meet you guys inside. Hurry up and get a table!"
Fitz chuckled at that and let Olivia down from his embrace, "_You_ were supposed to be resting."
She grabbed his hand and began leading him towards the building, "I _was_, I did."
Fitz gave her a pointed look before pulling her closer to him so he could wrap his arms around her waist and whisper in her ear, "Now, how could you be possibly have been sleeping if you were out with Harrison?"
"Well, not at the same time, _obviously_," she teased. "I slept for a bit, then he came over and we went out," Olivia explained. "And it wasn't a frivolous outing, either. We acquired something important, at least we hope."
"And what might that be?" Fitz asked curiously.
"I'll show you in a second," Olivia replied as the hostess led them to an available both that could accommodate a party of three. They slid into the booth hand in hand and Fitz couldn't stop himself from pulling her halfway onto his lap. He looked over the menu with his face half hidden in her curls as they waited for Harrison to return from the gentlemen's room.
"Hey, you two do know that this is a family restaurant, right?" he ribbed, appearing suddenly from around the corner.
"Right," Fitz replied with a sheepish grin.
"Sorry," Olivia giggled as she gave Fitz a lot more personal space.
"So what'd you dig up on campus, Fitz?" Harrison asked as he slid into the side opposite from the couple.
"Some serious dirt. After speaking with Eric, it's clear to me that the corruption goes a lot deeper than we first thought. There was talk of an election rigging. Reston is covering for Billy because he knows if Billy sinks, he's going to drag down his entire administration with him. Billy boy seems to have his hands in a lot of pots. He has Reston bought and gift wrapped, so going to him about this his deeds is completely off of the table. Reston is the one helping to suppress police investigation, so he's not above playing dirty either. The problem is, Eric knows a lot of the closed door murmurings, but there's little in the way of proof, no irrefutable evidence. Only inadmissable gossip."
Harrison and Olivia looked at each other and then Olivia opened her purse and placed the memory card case on the table. "This may do us some good."
Fitz fingered the small case gingerly, "What is this?"
"We don't exactly know yet, but I found it when we went out today. Harrison uncovered the location of a storage unit belonging to Billy and it was in there. He had a notion that there must be something really damning to keep secret if he went through such great lengths to hide it, and I'm sure he's right. Once we get to a computer we can see exactly what's on there," Olivia explained.
"This is awesome, this could be the break we've been waiting for. But the remains, even if this is confirmation of the election rigging, where do we take it? The mayor and police are both a no go. State Attorney? Or maybe the Feds?" Fitz wondered aloud.
"Neither of them," Olivia answered firmly.
"What?" Harrison and Fitz chorused.
"I say, we keep it to ourselves until we have concrete proof connecting the deed to Billy. Right now, we only know this is Billy's because we broke into his private property and stole it from him, which doesn't make us very credible. We can't go to the authorities with that. Huck and Quinn are working on Glass, he could provide our missing link. Also we should look into Reston more closely, see if he's left any trail for us. Once we have our ducks in a row, we have to find a way to get it to some kind of press, let the State Attorney or whoever take it from there. It'll force their hand if it makes headlines. If we go to the police directly, it'll just put a larger target on our back and show our hand."
"You're right," Harrison agreed, looking down as his phone began to ping. "Guys, Huck just texted me. Says they're meeting Glass at a warehouse on the outskirts of town in a few. I should get out of here."
"Okay, call me to let me know how it goes down as soon as you can. Take the chip with you so Huck can work his magic," Olivia offered.
"Will do," Harrison grinned as he stood to leave, "you two be safe and take it easy until I see you again."
"So, I guess that just leaves the two of us," Fitz said as he gave her arm a squeeze.
Olivia kissed his lips, "Why yes, it looks like it does. I hope everything goes well with them. Did you cancel your appointment with Wilhelm for today?"
"No, just rescheduled for a bit later than usual," Fitz explained as he looked down at his watch. "I'm actually supposed to meet at him at the Health Club on Lake avenue in like forty-five minutes. He wants to and I quote, 'turn things up a notch in light of the recent development.'"
"Oh yeah," Olivia laughed, "He's definitely gonna work you out! That's for sure."
"I'm a little nervous, it's been a while since I've done an intense workout, but it'll be good for me. Hey, you should come with," he offered.
"Who, me? I'm not supposed to watch."
"Says who?" Fitz asked through furrowed brows.
"Says Wilhelm. Something about atoms behaving differently when they're being observed. Basically, he thinks I'll mess up your flow," Olivia explained.
"Ha, well using quantum physics is an odd way of explaining it, but I get it. Either way, I wasn't really expecting you to sit and watch for two hours, that's just cruel. But on the way here I checked out their website and it's a pretty nice gym. We can get you a day pass, you can look around, check out all the facilities, and if you like it I was thinking we could buy a membership. I definitely need to work out more and I noticed that they have some really nice tennis courts...a beautiful indoor pool," he added lastly, knowing that the latter part would pique her interest.
"A pool?" Olivia asked excitedly. "Really?" It was one of her favorite pastimes to swim, but she tended to avoid the the on campus facilities because it always seemed to be filled with loud, obnoxious jocks which disturbed the calming, therapeutic effect that she caused her to seek out the sport.
"Yep," Fitz grinned, knowing that he had hooked her. "Olympic size, too."
"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go get changed and hit the gym!" Olivia exclaimed.
* * *
Olivia was just finishing up a lap when the large shadow being cast from above caught her attention. Coming up for air, she realized it was Fitz.
"Wow, has it really been two hours?" she asked him in disbelief.
He smiled, "It has. You look like a fish in there, babe. Perfect form."
"Thanks," she replied pulling herself up out of the otherwise empty pool.
He grabbed her towel off of the nearby bench and wrapped it around her soaking body, "You don't have to stop now if you're not ready. I can work out for a little bit and come back."
"No, no, it's fine. I tired myself out," she confessed leaning up to kiss him. "Give me like twenty minutes, I'm gonna rinse off and change, okay?"
"Deal," he agreed as she began making the short distance down the hallway towards the locker room.
Olivia hadn't gone a full ten feet when she thought the water logged in her ears must have been causing her to hear double. Besides the pitter-patter of her own footsteps, she could swear she heard the sound of feet behind her. Olivia turned around to find Fitz striding mere feet behind her with a mischievous smirk on his face. She glared at him and turned back around, but the foot steps continued to follow her.
Stopping at the last door on the left of the row of small combination shower and changing rooms, she waited for him to catch up and then closed the door securely behind him.
"What are you doing?" Olivia rushed out in a hushed whisper. "What if someone comes? You're not supposed to be back here!"
"Shhhh, I know," he leaned down to kiss her, "but no one is around and no one saw me."
She turned her face, "What about the workers? No, you have to leave."
Fitz smirked and rested his hands on her hips, "Livi, are you really gonna kick me out?"
Olivia shook her head and smiled in spite of herself, "No."
"Good," he murmured, pulling down the straps of her bathing suit and planting a kiss on each of her shoulders, "it would have broken my heart."
"Fitz, we are not having sex in here."
"That's okay, take your shower. I just want to watch."
Olivia eyed him carefully before removing the rest of her bathing suit top and stepping out of her bottoms. She threw him a tempting smirk as she crossed the tiny space to turn on the shower.
Fitz felt his cock twitch in his gym shorts at the sight of her stepping under the stream and the water particles cascading down her smooth skin.
Forgetting the words she had uttered to him just moments ago, he moved forward anx wrapped his large hand around her petite waist, drawing her body back into his. "You don't know what you do to me," he whispered softly.
"Baby, you're gonna get all wet," she whispered back, her hand raising up to caress his face.
"Livi, I don't care," he moaned as he led her backwards so he could sit on the small changing bench and pull her onto his lap. With one of his hands splayed across her breasts, Fitz wrapped the other around her neck to turn her head and bring her lips onto his. As their tongues danced Olivia squirmed purposefully against his hardening arousal. With his tongue securely around hers, he loosened his grip on her neck and moved his hands to his shorts to release himself.
Olivia took that moment to swivel on his lap so she could straddle him and he entered her swiftly. Moaning against his lips, Olivia lowered herself onto his length as his hands gripped her ass, encouraging her to take all of him. Fitz lost his breath when he felt her hips slowly begin to gyrate rhythmically, her muscles squeezing his throbbing manhood.
He broke their kiss and groaned louder than he should have given their location, but he was far past the point of caring about being caught. Olivia's lips found his ear and he thrust himself deeper into her and sent their lovemaking into a frenzied pace. When he felt her body tense up in his arms in anticipation of release, he knew she was close and he was close too.
He ran his fingers up and then down the small of her back until he reached the top of her ass and gave it a firm smack right as he lost control and let go inside of her and he felt her juices rain down on him in response.
* * *
Huck slowed the car to a stop in the shadow of the warehouse and turned around to face Jake in the backseat, "You remember the plan?"
"I do, but what if he doesn't believe me? What if he realizes I'm working with you goons, _then_ what?"
"_That_ sounds like a personal problem to me. Are you getting cold feet? Cause I can definitely warm those right up for you," Huck offered menacingly.
"No, no, please, anything but that," Jake pleaded.
"Alright then, quit shivering in your fucking short pants and man up. If anything is going to alert him that something is off, it's _you_ acting nervously. You're here to give him the copy of the key to Fitz's apartment so he can 'finish him off.' You hate Fitz and you want him dead, it's that simple, okay?"
"It's go time. Now or never," Harrison quipped in from the passenger seat. They were a two man army today, with Huck making the executive decision to leave Quinn at home for this particular mission.
Charlie Glass was clearly a dangerous man and a wildcard, and while he trusted Quinn to have his back for the most part, he had zero doubts in Harrison's ability to maneuver quickly and capably in a dangerous situation. They worked together often and knew each other well, so Harrison could provide the quick thinking manpower that Huck would need if things somehow went awry, which things had a tendency to do.
The last thing Huck wanted was the guilt of having Quinn's blood on his hands, so he had left her at the apartment with the ever important task of attempting to crack the microchip that they had only recently come to possess.
Jake sighed and shuffled out of the car, limping somewhat noticeably on his burned, bandaged and medicinally numbed feet. The pair watched in silence through the tinted black windows as the man disappeared behind the decrepit edifice.
"I hope you guys gathered all of the intel we're gonna need from this guy. I have a funny feeling he's going to blow it," Harrison mused, still staring in the direction in which Jake had walked off.
"We can't afford for him to blow it. _He_ can't afford for him to blow it, actually. You would think an ex Marine would have a better poker face," Huck replied somewhat disgustedly.
"How someone can be still be yellow after all that training will forever be a mystery to me," Harrison added. "Speaking of mysteries, how's everything going between you and Quinn?"
Huck looked at him carefully, "What do you mean by that? What's 'mysterious' about her?"
"I don't know. You don't find her a little...strange?" Harrison probed.
"No. But clearly you do, so tell me what's on your mind."
"Just look at this," Harrison replied offering him a piece of paper. Huck felt his stomach drop a bit but he kept his eyes on the paper and forced himself to take in all the details on the page. "Anything else?"
"Huck, I-" Harrison started off in an apologetic tone, but Huck wasn't in the mood for apologies. It's not like it was his fault anyway.
"Is there anything else?" He interjected before Harrison could finish his statement.
"No, that's all."
"Okay," Huck replied in a tone that confirmed that their conversation was finished for the time being. It was awkwardly silent for a few moments until the sound of a cellphone buzzing on the dashboard grabbed their attention.
Huck grabbed the mobile device, confused by the appearance of Jake's number on his caller ID. "Jake?" he answered hesitantly.
"Wrong answer," a deep voice replied from the other end.
"Charlie." Huck knew in his gut that he had the very man he had been looking for on the line.
"_Ding, ding, ding_. Grand prize winner here," the man teased as if hadn't a care in the world.
"Where is Jake?" Huck asked gruffly, already knowing the answer to the question.
The man scoffed, "In hell, if he didn't pray. And you and your meddling cronies will be joining him in five-four-three-two." Click.
* * *
**A/N: happy Labor Day weekend, hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think! I have been reading all the reviews and I will say definitely stay tuned for part 2 of the story, definitely will see more of fitz's family and Liv's too!**
**ETA: eliza nooo, didn't mean this is the last chapter! Only that this one is almost finished, probably in a couple chapters, then part two shall commence. Definitely want to do Liv's twenty first birthday! I plan to update over the next couple of weeks and then do an epilogue and first chapter of the new story. But yeah Beth, Teddy, Big Gerry, Mellie, law school and the crew will def be making lots of appearances. **
27. Revelations
**A/N: I wanted to update earlier, but my mind has been on blank mode lol. Anyway, a lot happens and I hope you enjoy the chapter. I think there is going to be one more chapter and epilogue before this story is finished. Don't forget to tell me what you think!**
* * *
Fitz stood eyeing the juice bar menu with a grin on his face that could rival a Chesire cat's. Musing over the variety of healthy and supposedly tasty smoothie options, he was patiently waiting for Olivia to finish changing and meet him there.
Only fifteen minutes prior, he had snuck out of her changing room like a smooth criminal, hoping no one had noticed him coming from the direction of the women's wing and thought him some type of peeping Tom. Following her back there was reckless and careless in hindsight, but he in the moment couldn't seem to stop himself and he never could seem to get enough of her.
In the past, Fitz was never one driven by sexual urges, at least not since college. He prided himself in easily being able to go without it provided the right alternatives, but Olivia had awakened the sleeping giant that was his libido, leaving him satisfied but never satiated. Contributing further to his desire was the fact that she could never seem to get enough of him either, no matter how early or how late, she always seemed to want him just as much as he needed her.
In his prior relationships, it had felt to Fitz that sex had ceased to be about the pleasure two people brought to one another, and was instead became symbolic of power and control. Sex was used as a way to keep him in line and thus felt mechanical and robotic; a pointed kiss here, strategic touch there, and passionless grunts were the culmination of the experience.
Most times after sex Fitz would feel empty and spent, and even thought his body felt relieved, his heart would still feel heavy. But with Olivia it was different. Even when the sex was frenzied and rushed, it still felt intimate, like an expression of love. Instead of feeling like a rush to the finish line, it was about suspending the moment of oneness for as long as possible and what followed was inevitably transformative.
What Olivia lacked in experience, she made up for in enthusiasm and vigor. It wasn't a chore, she _wanted_ to please him. She wasn't afraid to ask him what he liked and he could often feel her watching his reactions to her touch, wordlessly memorizing what his body responded to and learning to play his vessel like an instrument. And after it was over all he his mind wanted to do was hold her in his arms and listen to her heart beat while his fingers ran up and down along her skin. Being with her was more fulfilling and intoxicating than any scotch could ever make him feel, and even in the middle of the storm that was currently swirling around them, threatening to tear them apart, he felt more normal and happy than he had ever felt. In his heart, he was certain that the more circumstances tried to break them, it would only serve to bring them closer together, and knowing that gave him the courage to face anything
Fitz felt slender fingers slide between his and an accompanying arm snake around his waist and interrupt his daydreams. "Anything look good here?" Olivia asked beaming up at him.
"You do," he grinned with a wink.
"Flattery will get you _everywhere_, Mr. Grant," she teased.
Fitz looked up at the colorful menu with renewed interest. "Wilhelm said I should get something loaded with protein."
"Then you should probably get the Power Shake," Olivia suggested as she slid into the stool at the countertop, drawing the man behind the bar to finally acknowledge their presence.
The young man grinned, "Hi miss, can I get you something?"
_It's Mrs._, Fitz thought to himself, but thought better of correcting him, as he knew it was petty was trying to stay in control his green eyed monster.
"Sure," Olivia replied, her eyes still roving the list. "I'm going to have the Ultimate Orange fruit smoothie. And what are you gonna have babe?" she asked glancing back at him.
"I think I'm going to take your advice and have the Power Shake," he answered as he occupied the seat beside her.
"Any particular flavor sir?"
"Hmm, wild berry," Fitz decided and the man immediately went to work whipping up their orders.
Fitz turned to face her. "So, did you enjoy your workout today?" he asked with a knowing grin.
"In more ways than one," she replied slyly, wiggling her eyebrows at him and he couldn't help but laugh. "I definitely would love to be a member here. I was looking around before I started swimming and I saw a sign for couples tennis lessons. We should sign up!"
"Sounds like fun, let's do it," he agreed.
"Yay!" Olivia exclaimed as the server slid their drinks in front of them. Olivia sipped hers carefully, "It's good. I like it. How's yours?"
Fitz scrunched up his face, "Meh, it tastes...protein-y. But I guess it's good for me. Can I try yours?"
"Of course," she answered, sliding her glass over closer to him.
Fitz reached for the glass but changed his mind at the last minute, taking her chin his hands instead and bringing his lips down onto hers. He took her bottom lip into his mouth gently, running his tongue over her sweet, soft lips until she opened up for him and he could taste the citrusy drink on her tongue. He sucked at her lips purposefully until he could hear her breathing quicken and she clasped onto his ear to deepen the kiss further. Fitz pulled back and she beamed at him, visibly blushing from his bold public display of affection.
"I think yours is more my flavor," he smiled and before she could respond the sound of a phone buzzing in her purse interrupted their intimate moment. Olivia fumbled in her bag as she fished for the small cellular device, frustrated when the phone stopped ringing before she could answer it.
"Damn it! That was Harrison," she grumbled looking at the screen, pissed that she missed it.
"Call him back," Fitz urged. Olivia hit the call back button, but the line just rang twice before going to voicemail. She went to her call log to find Huck's number and dialed him as well, but got a similar response.
"Neither Huck nor Harrison will answer. Now what?" she wondered aloud.
"Call Quinn, maybe?"
"Yeah, good idea. We should head out of here, too. Make our way home."
* * *
The couple made a beeline to the car as Olivia frantically tried dialing and redialing both of the boys' numbers and Fitz could see her becoming more visibly agitated with each failed attempt.
Fitz grabbed her hand as he started the car, "Baby, I'm sure Huck and Harrison are fine, they're very smart and capable guys. They're probably just in the middle of something and don't want to blow their cover by talking on the phone. Or maybe there's a poor signal. We don't know yet, but I don't want you to work yourself up for the worst. Okay?"
"But Fitz, why would he call me and then not answer? Something's wrong and I have a really bad feeling, babe. We need to find them, or at least get in touch with them."
"We will sweetheart, I promise," he assured her as he pulled out of the parking lot in the direction of home.
Olivia sighed and stopped dialing for a moment, staring out of the window instead when she noticed a car in the rear view mirror a few vehicles back. She couldn't place it, but something familar about the car struck her, she had seen it somewhere before.
"Baby, make the next left at this light," Olivia instructed him distractedly, her eyes still on the car behind them.
"What? Why? I'm in the wrong lane for that turn and that's not the way home."
"I know, I think someone's following us though. If so, it'll draw them out," she explained. Fitz swiftly changed lanes and made the unplanned left, and sure enough, within seconds, the blue car was coming into view again. The vehicle was still following tentatively, staying a couple of cars behind, but it was now close enough that Olivia could make out that the gender of the driver was female.
"No _fucking_ way," Olivia muttered. "Fitz, I think it's Amanda Tanner following us!"
"Not again," he groaned. "Shit, I meant to tell you earlier, I almost forgot, I saw her today at school. She was with Billy Chambers."
Olivia didn't respond verbally but her wheels were turning quickly in her brain as she looked around her surroundings and tried to think of a plan to get reverse the roles of predator and prey. She popped open the dash and rummaged through the contents until she found the item she was looking for. In light of all the madness, Harrison had encouraged her to keep a anti-theft club in her car just in case of an emergency. If she was ever pulled over by the cops, it wouldn't rouse any suspicions as a run of the mill steering wheel lock, but it had the dual capacity to function as an effective weapon in a time of need.
Olivia slipped the club into the arm of her coat. "Here's what we're gonna do: Huck and Harrison's place is on the other side of that park a couple blocks up. Pull over by those trees at the main trail and let me out. I'm going to kiss you and pretend like everything is fine and I'm just crossing the park to to visit the boys and you're on your way home. I'm pretty sure she's going to follow me in, then, I'm gonna take care of her. Make a circle real quick and meet me on the other side of the park. I'll be out fifteen minutes, tops."
"Olivia, are you _**crazy**_? I am definitely _not_ going to let you go off into that park alone and confront that psychotic woman. _Hell_ no! No freaking way!"
"Fitz, you have to trust me, I can handle her. I'm not afraid of her. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a plan, she's never really struck me as being that clever. I can bet dollars for donuts that Chambers is behind her following us and she's doing his bidding. I'm telling you."
"Olivia, exactly what do you plan on doing in the park?"
"Capture the queen to get closer to the king. Well, at least that's the hope."
* * *
Fitz sighed as he pulled over to the side of the park. He hated to do this, but he knew Olivia was serious about confronting this head on and he had promised to support her. He was grasping at straws in his mind, but coming up blank as far as plans went, so he was praying that he wasn't making a critical mistake in going along with this. Nevertheless, they were already fully immersed in the madness so it didn't make sense to half ass it now.
Olivia jumped out of the car and walked over to the driver's side. She kept her eyes on Fitz, put in her peripheral vision she could eyed the familiar vehicle that was slowing to a stop and parking down the street from where they stood.
"Ten minutes, Olivia, seriously. After that I'm coming in to get you," Fitz warned her with a kiss.
"I wouldn't expect anything less," she smiled excitedly before turning to enter the woodsy park.
Fitz watched Olivia disappear into the woodland before slowly pulling off, his eyes glued to Amanda Tanner as she followed into the park mere moments later.
* * *
The tall trees and shrubbery provided a large canopy that gave the park a foresty feel, despite it being located in the middle of the bustling metropolis. There were multiple trails for walking and jogging, but for the time being they laid undisturbed by most. Except for those most dedicated to their regimen, the walking paths seemed comparatively isolated while it was still so cold outside.
Olivia kept her pace light and carefree as she followed one of the less popular paths across the park in the familiar directions Harrison and Huck's house. She knew these trails well as she had traversed them too many times to count on her bike, most times simply for the sport, riding speedily on a route to nowhere.
Olivia loved to bike almost more than she loved to swim because it was one of the few things that reminded her of her mom without making her sad. She still remember that initial feeling of freedom and happiness the day she had learned to ride without her training wheels. Olivia would never be able to forget the look of pride and joy that had filled her mother's face when she had turned the handlebars nimbly and circled around the driveway, teetering slightly, but refusing to fall off.
That day and many days after, the mother and daughter duo had visited the state park, spending hours riding along the paths and trails, much like the ones in this very park. Olivia still could remember the sweet burning in her muscles as she tried to keep up with her mother's pace, and the smile on her face each time she turned around to make sure Olivia hadn't fallen too far behind.
The sound of footsteps closing in behind her jolted Olivia out of her thoughts and she shut down her emotions. Today, she was at the park for business, not pleasure, and it wouldn't do her well to be distracted. She looked ahead and noticed thst she wasn't too distant from where Fitz would be waiting and she hoped this would go quickly. Olivia's arms were crossed at her chest and she felt club secured inside of her coat.
Amanda was going to learn today.
"Hey you! _Girl_," she heard the woman's voice dripping with venom calling out from behind her.
Olivia slowed her pace, but didn't stop.
"I know you hear me, **_bitch_**," Professor Tanner baited her and Olivia finally halted.
"What are you doing here? Why are you following me?" Olivia asked in a small, scared voice, feigning ignorance.
"I knew we would meet again, _Miss. Pope_, and now, it seems your precious Fitz isn't here to save you. I warned him there wouldn't be any happy endings if I didn't get mine." Amanda grolwed as she pulled out a knife. "Do you think he'll want you after I cut up that pretty little face of yours?" she asked menacingly, stepping closer.
Olivia stepped back and reached into her jacket, closing her fingers deftly around the lock. She hadn't exactly been expecting the woman to be armed, but they were past due for a confrontation.
"I'm warning you," Olivia started off, but before she could finish Amanda was running at her full steam ahead. Letting her instincts take control, she took a deep breath, side stepped and swung like she was trying for a home run. Olivia felt the metal make contact with body mass and the woman fell to the ground with a thud at her feet. Looking around quickly to make sure no one had seen the altercation, Olivia dragged Amanda's dead weight beneath a tree out of view of passersby and called Fitz.
"I did it, it's handled. I need you to come forty feet into the park from where you're parked, I'm behind a tree," she whispered into the phone.
* * *
Huck grabbed the mobile device, confused by the appearance of Jake's number on his caller ID. "Jake?" he answered hesitantly.
"Wrong answer," a deep voice replied from the other end.
"Charlie." Huck knew in his gut that he had the very man he had been looking for on the line.
"Ding, ding, ding. _Grand_ prize winner here," the man teased as if hadn't a care in the world.
"Where is Jake?" Huck asked gruffly, already somehow knowing the answer to the question.
The man scoffed, "In hell, if he didn't pray. And you and your meddling cronies will be joining him in five-four-three-two." Click.
"Shit," Huck muttered as the line went dead in his ear.
"What? What happened?" Harrison demanded anxiously.
"It's Jake, man. He fucking blew it. That was Charlie on the line, dude's a goner. We have to get in there."
"What do you mean? The very _last_ thing we need to do is go in there. Who knows what kind of booby traps or set ups the man has in that warehouse. That wasn't the plan, -"
"Harrison, he called me from **_Jake's_** phone. The police are going to find a dead body with a phone and _my_ number as the last outgoing call. Whose door do you think they're going to show up on? You can bet he's cleaned up his tracks. I don't feel right leaving that loose end untied. We gotta get in there," Huck explicated.
Harrison nodded in understanding. "We have firepower, right?" he asked.
"Yeah," Huck responded as he removed the case from the hidden compartment beneath the driver's seat. Huck hated guns. They were loud, messy, and traceable. There were tons of better ways to get rid of people, but the majority of those methods required planning and forethought. In this case, the pair didn't have the luxury of doing much planning because their backs were against the wall and Charlie had the upper hand of knowing the turf. They would be entering the building pretty much blind, and the only long distance weapon that could make a dent in evening the odds was the one he hated most. The sound of shots ringing out reminded him of his childhood nightmares, but dealing with that anxiety would have to be postponed.
Huck opened the case and Harrison took the one of the twin pistols, slipping it into his waistline before taking a deep breath and exiting the vehicle. Huck turned off the car and joined his friend outside. Harrison gave him a nod that told Huck he was ready and the pair began quietly following the path they had earlier seen Jake take.
The steel door creaked as Harrison inched it open and Huck pointed his weapon at the threshold in anticipation of an ambush. The door closed behind them and the men stood by the exit quietly, listening for movement. Nothing in the room was stirring, but the soft humming of some type of machinery filled the empty space.
Huck turned to Harrison and gave him a curt nod indicating that in five seconds they would turn the corner and face whatever danger lay in wait for them. When they turned the bend, the source of the sound came into view and Harrison turned to him puzzled.
"An aquarium? Really?" he asked in disbelief. Spanning the entire back wall and part of the walls adjacent to it was a large fish tank that stood from floor to almost ceiling and beside it a movable platform.
"More like a kill factory, look," Huck pointed with his gun at what almost appeared to be a log that a couple of extremely large fish that may have been some specie of shark were congregating around in the corner of the tank.
"Oh my god, is that fucking _**Jake**_?" Harrison cried out as they drew nearer. "Jesus, they are tearing him apart. I wonder if he killed him before he dumped him."
"Probably not," Huck answered. "That would take all of the sadistic fun out of it. Clever set up, though. Never have to worry about body disposal."
"Ingenious, even," Harrison agreed. "But things just went from bad to worse. How do you propose that we get the phone out from the bottom of the tank, without getting ourselves killed?"
* * *
Fitz pulled up in the driveway alongside the small house and Olivia leapt out of the car and raced toward the front door, her fingers ringing the doorbell impatiently. Quinn answered the door quickly, already anticipating their arrival. "Where's Fitz?"
"In the driveway, open the garage!" Olivia instructed briskly before running back to the car. Moments later the garage door began sliding open and the two women followed Fitz as he carried the unconscious woman into the living room.
"What in the world is going on?" Quinn asked looking between the two of them.
A phone rang interrupting their thinking silence and Fitz realized it was his. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his mobile, eyeing the caller ID carefully. He didn't recognize the number, but since Huck and Harrison were still missing in action he thought it best to answer just in case.
"Fitzgerald Grant," he greeted the unknown caller.
"Hey. Son, how the hell are you?" A cheerful voice answered back. Internally, Fitz groaned; his father always did seem to have the worst timing. He put up a single finger to signal to Olivia and that he was going to step out of the room for a moment and mouthed 'my father.' Olivia took that moment to begin explaining the recent events to Quinn.
Fitz stepped into the kitchen and finally replied. "Gerry. What can I do for you?" he asked unenthusiastically.
"Nothing in particular. Just calling to check up on you, see how the recovery is coming along," Gerry answered casually, as if this was every day behavior for him.
"Now is not really the best time for pleasantries, so if there was something in particular you were calling for, you can just go ahead and get straight to the point," Fitz replied bluntly.
"It's honestly not like that, sport. I just got back from a doctor's appointment and thought of you. We were talking about starting off on a new foot, clean slate, and all. Remember? Last time I saw you? How's Olivia, anyway?"
"Gerry,-"
"Will you call me _dad_, for Christ's sake? I mean come on, I'm making an effort here," Gerry pleaded his case somewhat irritatedly.
"Look," Fitz spoke pointedly, "_Dad_, Gerry, _**whatever**_ I call you - it matters very little. I've been thinking about things, between us, and I've decided that I do want to forgive you. I want to let go of the anger I feel towards you. I realize now that it hurts me more than it hurts you. As much as I hate your actions, I _do_ still care about you as a father, and I want the best for you and your health. But that being said, I can't sacrifice my own well being to help you. It's not just myself and my own feelings that I have to consider anymore. I have Olivia now, too, and she needs me to be healthy. I've already put her through a lot regarding my health so far and it would be selfish of me. I'm sorry if you can't-"
"Fitz, don't apologize. I completely understand, and again, that wasn't my intention in getting in contact with you. I know you don't believe me, but it's not. My efforts may turn out to be too little, too late, but I'm hoping the saying 'better late than never' is more true. Hey, I even went to church last weekend, if you can believe that. Didn't even fall asleep. It's not much, but it's something. Look, I don't know what's going to happen with the transplant, or how much time I have left, but I want to make the most of it and that includes righting some wrongs. Why don't you think about maybe coming out here for a visit sometime? Beth and everyone is dying to meet Olivia, and everyone misses ya. You always have a place here at home, no matter what."
Fitz sighed and was silent as he tried to absorb the weight of his father's words. Even though the man _sounded_ genuine, time and experience had proven that when given the opportunity, he would find a way to hurt him. Knowing this, their relationship always felt like a seesaw. Gerry would easily find a way to raise him up high and then, when he least expected it, the bottom would fall out and knock the wind out of him.
Fitz cleared his throat, "I'll think about it."
It was noncommittal and vague, but it would have to be enough. He was a man grown now and he refused to let himself feel rushed or cornered into anything, anymore. If a relationship was going to develop, it would have to be on Fitz's terms this time around.
"Great. That's all I could ask for."
The line went silent again and this time it was awkward. He couldn't remember the last time he had had a conversation with Gerry that hadn't ended in a verbal sparring match or all out blow up.
"Okay, well, I have to go..." Fitz started off.
"No problem, it was good talking to you. How about I give you a call next week or something? Just to chat? Promise I won't take up too much of your time," Gerry asked hopefully.
"Alright," Fitz conceded, willing to agree to that much, at least.
* * *
"Geez, Olivia, how hard did you hit her?" Quinn asked, chuckling, as the two women leaned over the unconscious woman.
"Not nearly hard enough," Olivia mused.
Quinn slapped the woman's cheeks lightly in a lazy attempt to rouse her. "You two have history?"
"Harrumph," Olivia verbalized. "Do we? She has been a pain in my ass for months!"
"What happened?"
"It all boils down to she was after Fitz. Tried to make our lives harder than it needed to be, and basically outed us," Olivia summarized succinctly.
"What a bitch!" Quinn exclaimed. "You want to hit her again?"
"What? No," Olivia shook her head.
"You sure? The strumpet deserves it," Quinn egged her on and just then Fitz reentered the living room.
Olivia stood up straight and eyed him, noting that he didn't seem upset by the call. "How'd it go?" she inquired.
Fitz shrugged. "Not too bad, actually."
She smiled. "That's good."
"Water," Quinn called out from behind them.
Olivia turned around, "Huh?"
"To wake her up," Quinn clarified. "If we splash her with some cold water, that ought to do the trick. I'll go get a bucketful."
As she took her leave, Olivia looked to Fitz, "Babe, do you think there's something..._off_, about Quinn?"
"Not really, how do you mean?"
"I'm not sure. She just seems a little eccentric. She really seems to enjoy violent stuff," Olivia tried to explain, but Fitz just sort of shrugged it off. Harrison had gotten to her with his inarguable proof of her grifter ways. While she still held out hope that there was some innocent explanation for the name change, at this point she wasn't sure, and it definitely wasn't a good time to delve into the topic with Fitz. With Huck and Harrison still gone, Quinn was the only reliable ally they had for the moment so Olivia would have to place the identity issue on the back burner for now.
"So what's our plan, again?" Fitz asked as Quinn reentered the room, full bucket in hand.
"Plan A, get her to spill her guts and then lead us to Billy. Or, plan B, call Billy and tell him what happens to the girl if he doesn't agree to compromise with us. Beyond that, I don't know," Olivia confessed.
"Sounds good to me," Quinn quipped. "Olivia, go through her pockets and find her phone." Olivia did as instructed and then took her place back at Fitz's side.
"Now time to wake this whore up," Quinn said, flashing a mischievous grin at the couple before unleashing a torrent of water on the unsuspecting captive.
The woman sputtered and gasped to consciousness, her arms flailing about as she tried to gain her bearings.
"Where _**am**_ I?" Amanda asked in a panic as she sat up, looking about the room at her unfriendly company.
Quinn delivered a ferocious kick to the woman's chest, forcing her back down into a supine position. "You just shut the hell up now. _We'll_ be the ones asking the questions around here, you got it?" she growled.
"Billy's gonna come for me!" Amanda fired back but didn't move to sit up again. "He loves me and he's _not_ gonna stand for this! You all are as good as dead!"
Quinn knelt down and yolked the insubordinate woman up gruffly. "You will talk, or you will pay in pain, the likes of which you have never known. I hope he's worth it, this Billy, because when I-"
"Wait," Olivia interjected before the situation escalated out of control. "She says Billy will step up for her, let's see. Let's see if he's really willing to put it all on the line for you. Call him."
"I'm not gonna call him and set him up for the kill! Not ever!" Amanda declared.
"I'll call," Fitz volunteered. "He and I are _long_ overdue for a word."
Olivia handed Fitz the phone and he scrolled through the call log to find Billy's contact information. The line barely rang twice before Billy's agitated voice came blaring through the speakerphone for the entire room to hear. "Amanda, where the _**HELL**_ are you and where the _**HELL**_ have you been? I've been fucking calling and calling you!"
"This isn't Amanda," Fitz interrupted the tirade and the line was silent for a full twenty seconds.
"Fitzgerald...how goes the recovery?" Billy asked icily.
"None of your business, but thanks for asking. Where are you Billy?"
"Who wants to know?" the man replied coyly.
"I do, and so does Amanda. She doesn't look very happy here in our company and she's about to be a lot more than 'unhappy,' if you don't agree to call off your goon and turn yourself in for election fraud," Fitz ordered.
"Ha, ha," Billy laughed mirthlessly, "Good one, bug I have no clue about this 'fraud'you speak of, and you know what, I don't think I _know_ of any 'Amanda.' Maybe you have the wrong number."
"So that's how you want to play this?"
"No, this is how **_you_** decided to play this, Fitzgerald. You come _swaggering_ into City Hall all bright eyed and bushy tailed, sticking your nose in affairs you have _no_ fucking business in, and have the nerve to act surprised? This is politics, baby, big city politics. I _run_ Boston, and all the players, too, so don't think I don't know that Eric had something to do with putting the battery in your back. I gave you ample time and opportunity to wrangle yourself out of this mess, but you _insisted_ on fucking with people much smarter and **_much_** more powerful than yourself. With odds like those, you'll always lose Fitz. You, my friend, don't exactly have clean hands either, you and your people have been sneaking around, invading my privacy and stealing my things. You will pay for that-"
"My hands may not exactly be clean, but at least I don't have _**blood**_ on them," Fitz fired back.
"Well maybe that needs to change. You made some threats moments ago, now let's see what you're actually made of. Now that I think about it, I do know an Amanda. Amanda Tanner? Yeah, that sounds _**really**_ familiar. Even so, I can't seem to manage to care. Do what you will with the bitch, she's of little use to me at this point. Have a fucking ball."
The line went dead and the threesome glared at the woman as it dawned on her that she was up shit's creek without a paddle. "How could he...but he, he bought me a _dog_," she cried in shock. "He said he _loved me_, he said-"
"He probably said a lot of things, and promised you the world, but its clear that Billy is only out for self. He is **_not_** coming for you. So now that _that's_ settled, maybe you'd like to change your stance on things," Olivia reasoned.
"I didn't do _**anything**_, I swear," Amanda pleaded, suddenly apologetic. "Just some following, and okay, I messed with your taillight that one night, and I called Charlie to let him know when you left the parking lot, but that's _it_."
"How do you even know Chambers, anyway?" Fitz inquired.
"A week or two after you started working downtown, he came around the office and I saw him talking to Cyrus. I overheard your name and it caught my attention, so I lingered around to see what else I could hear. Billy ended up noticing me and we struck up a conversation and he invited me out for drinks and then asked me if I knew you. From there, things just spiraled out of control. I didn't realize how serious it all was. I didn't really wanted you dead, _per se_," Amanda rambled, doing her best, he was sure, to minimize her importance in the debacle.
Fitz didn't know if he necessarily believed that her role was as she was portraying it to be, but it was starting to make sense. Billy must have visited Cyrus in hopes of gathering dirt or an ally in Cy, and luck just had it that he bumped into scorned Professor Tanner. On the basis of him being their mutual adversary, they had become friends. He wasn't surprised that a master manipulator like Billy had sniffed out Amanda's desperation and found a way to use it to his own advantage, seducing her and then using her as the messenger between himself and Charlie in order to keep his hands, and phone records, "clean."
"Tell us what you know about the election rigging," Fitz demanded.
"_**Nothing**_, I _swear_ he never shared anything like that with me!"
"I think she's lying," Quinn sneered. "And you know, I have very special ways of dealing with liars."
"Amanda, how do you know Gideon Wallace?" Olivia blurted out randomly.
"Huh? What does that have to do with anything?"
"You _were_ the one who leaked the story to him about Fitz and I getting married, right? The journalist at The Boston Sun?" Olivia prodded, wanting to hear the woman take accountability for the spiteful act.
"Yes," Amanda answered hesitantly as if fearing that the question was leading into some type of trap. "I guess I did. He and I went to school together. But what does he have to do with anything? He's just a young journalist trying to make a name for himself, that's why he ran with the story. He's not guilty of anything!"
Olivia couldn't help but smile as a plan formulated in her mind and just then the sound of a car pulling into the driveway made them all freeze. They heard car doors slam and then two sets of footsteps approached the door. A key slid into the lock and the tension lessened a bit in the room.
Huck and Harrison were both home safe, dripping wet, but safe.
Olivia rushed to hug them but stopped short when she noticed their soaked clothing. "What in the world happened to you two?" she asked incredulously.
"Long story short," Harrison answered blithely, "Lost Jake, no Charlie."
"You'll _never_ catch him," Amanda spoke up from the floor. "He's a professional, ex CIA. Billy doesn't even think his real name is Charlie. He has no life, no family, nothing to trace him back to."
"Who the hell is that?" Huck asked as he finally decided to acknowledge the additional person in the room.
"We should all talk," Olivia declared. "In the kitchen."
"Fine, but someone should tie her up," Huck suggested.
"I'll do it," Quinn volunteered.
"Gag her, too," Huck added as the group moved into the kitchen.
* * *
"What happened to Jake?" Fitz asked as soon as the door was securely closed behind them.
"You could say he's swimming with the fishies," Harrison chuckled.
"Huh?"
"He's dead," Huck answered more directly, always one to cut through the witty banter and get straight to the heart of the matter. "Who's the chick in the living room and what's your plan, Liv?"
"She's basically just a pawn Chambers has been using to trail us and act as an intermediary between himself and the ever elusive Charlie. Fitz, Harrison and I were talking at lunch earlier and I was thinking that our best bet might be to leak the story to the press. At this point, going to the authorities would be like a crapshoot, we can't be sure who exactly is in the pocket of whom. Professor Pawn out there has a connect at the Boston Sun who is hungry for a story, maybe we should feed him? Have her take him the evidence and watch the bomb explode from afar? What do you think?"
Huck was quiet for a moment, "It could work. If everything she said about Charlie is true, which I'm inclined to believe it is, going after him head on is the wrong approach. He's Billy's guy, this isn't personal for him, if we neutralize the head, the body will follow. I'll keep an eye on her tonight and we can get the ball rolling on meeting up with Wallace first thing in the morning."
"Sounds good to me," Harrison agreed. "I'm tired, and I'm hungry, and I'm in dire need of a shower. Let's all recharge and regroup first thing in the a.m."
"_Bounddd and gaggedddd_," Quinn sang cheerfully as she finally rejoined the others in the kitchen. "So, fill me in guys."
"We should talk," Huck spoke to Quinn directly. "Catch up on a few things and then I'll go over what's going down for tomorrow."
Harrison and Olivia glanced at each other knowingly, wondering if he was going to bring up what Harrison had found so soon.
Olivia grabbed Fitz's hand. "Well, in that case, we're going to head home then. I'll call you guys in the morning."
* * *
Huck walked down the hallway towards his room with Quinn close behind him. It had been a hell of a day and he had a headache. His body was extremely tired, but his mind was going a mile a minute. Nothing that day had gone as he had planned it to, and didn't have a great feeling about the following day either. All Huck wanted to do was lay on the hardwood floor and do sit-ups until he was too exhausted to open his eyes, but there was still more work to be done.
Quinn plopped on the bed and kicked off her shoes. "What went down at the warehouse? How close did you get to Charlie?"
"Before we go there, you and I need to discuss something serious," Huck changed the subject, fishing the small paper that Harrison had given him out of his pocket. "What the hell is this, Quinn?" he asked, throwing the paper onto the bed. She picked it up and looked at it quizzically, her eyes widening like saucers in recognition of the issue at hand.
"What, **where** did you get this?!" Quinn gasped.
"Fucking Harrison! I thought-," he stopped himself when he realized his voice was raised above its usual volume. "I _**thought**_ you said you had covered all of your tracks? I thought you said this **wasn't** going to be a problem?!"
"Because I didn't think it would be! I bet it was Stephen, he is **so** spiteful. I knew I never should have confided in him!"
"He feels hurt, probably, and insulted. You need to take care of him, you need to placate him and you need to make this 'Lindsay' stuff disappear, for _good_."
"What about Harrison? What if he-"
"Don't worry about that," Huck reassured her.
"But,-" she interjected.
"I _said_, don't worry about that. I'll think of something, and I'll handle it."
* * *
"Oh my goodness, babe. Babe listen to this," Olivia nudged him with a chuckle but got no response. She looked up at Fitz behind her and he was three quarters of the way to sleep already.
When the two had first returned to the apartment, they had both felt tired but not sleepy, so Olivia had decided to start working on grading the esssys that Fitz had brought home to her from Cyrus. Elated that she was actually going to be closer to graduation than she had expected herself to be and wired from the day's events, she figured it would be a good way to wind down. It would either make her tired enough to fall asleep, or she would be able to make a productive dent in the stack of papers. Always the helpful husband, Fitz had offered to help her with her first crack at the task.
Attempting to minimize the distraction of each other's presence, the couple had started off on separate ends of the living room for awhile until she joined him on his respective couch to show him a specific line. After that she hadn't wanted to go back to the other sofa all by her lonesome, so they compromised by laying head to foot. But following a short tickle session which led to a foot massage, Olivia had stopped fighting it and crawled right into his lap. She was reading her fourth paper when she finally realized that Fitz was nodding off.
Olivia took a kernel of popcorn and threw it up at his snoozing face.
"Huh? What?" he jumped up with a start and she laughed.
"Ready for bed, sleepyhead?" she asked him.
"What? No, I'm wide awake," he countered with a yawn.
"Fitz, you sat up with me in the hospital all night yesterday, and then jumped to go to campus this morning. _Then_ we hit the gym and have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off ever since. If you're not tired, then you're superman."
Fitz grinned, "Don't you see this 'S' on my chest?" He sighed, "It has been quite the day, huh? You did amazing though, babe. Really, you showed a lot of courage."
"Thanks, honey bun. You know I couldn't have done it without you. It was exhausting though. This entire week has been exhausting. I can't wait until this whole thing is finished and over with," she confessed.
"You and I both, Livi, you and I, both. But hey, if all goes as planned, after tomorrow we'll be on our way back to being a normal, married couple," he told her hopefully.
She stroked his ears and gazed into his eyes, "Fitz, have we ever really been 'normal?'"
He chuckled and kissed her nose. "No, I guess not. But we could give it a try," and with that he lifted her up off the couch and carried them off to the bedroom, forgetting their cell phones in the living room.
* * *
**A/N: Curious to hear your opinions! Do you believe Gerry? Do you think professor tanned is telling the truth? Was Huck wrong for not telling Harrison he already knew Quinn's secret?**
28. Clocked
**A/N: okay, I lied lol, this won't be the last chapter, there's a part two to this one before the epilogue. Since this part was already written I figured why wait**. **Gonna try to finish part two in the next few days. Thanks for reading!**
**ETA: it's 9/22 and I'm definitely planning to update tonight! Sorry for the delay :( been having some technical difficulties, but I'm almost finished!**
* * *
It was six a.m. when Huck hit the snooze button for the third time and finally made up his mind to begin his day. He inhaled a few sharp breaths before disentangling himself from the covers and rolling out of the bed. He was well aware that he had been slacking on his usual workout routine for a few days now and it had to stop. He had been chalking it up mostly to being exhausted from staying up so late, but in addition to that he was also finding it much harder to motivate himself to get out if the bed when he wasn't sleeping alone. The bed seemed so much more warm and inviting with a body next to his, but today he decided to quit making excuses.
Huck stalked out of his bedroom quietly, his sole intention in that moment was to make a quick trip to the restroom before starting his crunches, but as soon as he stepped foot into the hallway all of the hairs on his body stood on end. Something was not right. Forgetting his physical urges, Huck headed for the living room where the night prior he had left Amanda Tanner gagged, bound and asleep on the couch. His heart and stomach both sunk to his feet when he came into full view of the sitting area and found the room empty of his prisoner.
"**Nooo, noooo, no, ****_lord, NO_**! Im-_fucking_-possible!" Huck screamed as he ran towards the vacant sofa and flipped over all of the cushions and adorning pillows, as if it that would possibly turn the woman up in front of him. "This is _**NOT**_ happening!" he groaned in complete and utter shock.
"I heard yelling, what's going on?" Harrison yawned, sidling up from behind. "Where's the chick?" he asked casually.
"I don't know," Huck replied frustratedly, still staring at the disheveled couch.
"What do you _mean_ you don't _know_? She's not here?!" Harrison demanded.
Huck finally turned around to face his friend. "Look around. Do you see her?"
"Don't tell me-How the **_fuck_**-_What_ in the hell happened?!" he stuttered.
"I don't fucking **_know_**, man. I was just wondering the same exact thing. I only got here moments before you did."
"We have _three_ locks on this place, a deadbolt, _AND_ an alarm," Harrison rattled off. "Not **one** of _all_ those precautions worked?!"
Huck walked over to check the door. "They're locked. All of them. Alarm is set," he huffed in disbelief.
"Either this chick is Houdini, or-"
"Charlie. It could only have been Charlie," Huck finished for him.
Harrison shook his head and began pacing the floor. "I'm beginning to feel like we're out of our league here. Every time we make a move he outmaneuvers us. _Every_ time! This is straight up _bullshit_!"
"What are you guys talking about?" Quinn asked hazily as she lumbered in from the hallway.
"Charl-dini strikes again. We lost another one, but _this_ time-"
"The chip!" Huck yelled suddenly and all three broke into a run in the direction of the computer room. He hadn't even stopped to think about it until he saw Quinn, who had last been working on decoding the microchip.
Huck yanked open the closet which housed the safe that should have been guarding the precious piece of technology, praying that all was as it should be. He could almost feel the air leave the room when the door pulled back to reveal the safe wide open and ransacked. Huck moved closer to the open unit, hoping beyond hope that by some small miracle the chip might still be in their possession. In it's place, he found a lime green post it note with a taunting smiley face and an almost illegible writing beneath it.
_Too Easy :)_
"Fucking bastard," Huck groaned, punching the closet door. He couldn't bear to face Harrison or Quinn yet as he strode over to his Mac, "Maybe I can recover something from the computer." He sat at the desk Quinn had been occupying the night before and pushed the power button to turn it on. "Quinn, how far into the decoding did you get?"
"The chip had information stored from the Ruskindale voting location, so I know that at the very least information was falsified there. Don't have any more details than that, the information was still downloading."
"What the fuck. It won't turn on. _Why_ won't it turn on?" he demanded looking from Quinn to Harrison back to Quinn." He stood and leaned over the desk to make sure the power cord was plugged in and had to stifle a scream when he saw that the wires had clearly been tampered with maliciously.
"This computer is out of commission. We're screwed." Huck admitted defeatedly as he knelt beside the damaged wires. It wasn't beyond his repair, but given the circumstances, he knew he didn't have the time or patience to nurse it back to health at that moment. He was on the verge of being overwhelmed and the whole situation was spiraling out of control. It was one of the first times he had felt like the eighteen year old lost kid he fighting his damnedest not to be.
Harrison chuckled mirthlessly. "Huck, I need a word with you."
He turned to him frustratedly, "Right now?" He was already beating himself up and the last thing he needed was to be chewed out as well.
Harrison glared at him. "_Right_ now," he emphasized before turning his glare to Quinn and then back to Huck, "and in private."
Huck sighed and followed him down the hall into his bedroom and closed the door behind them. "What's up?"
"What's up? _What's up_? You **_really_** want to know what the hell is up?! I want _her_ gone! **Now**!"
"Cut the dramatics, Harrison. You're pissed, I'm pissed, we're **_all_** pissed, but it's not Quinn's fault."
"Are you sure? Cause I'm not wholly convinced that she's not somehow responsible, or at the very least, involved, in _all_ of this! How do we know she's not some double agent, huh? Isn't it a little strange how someone not only broke into our very secure house and managed to extract a hostage, but also crack a safe and destroy the very computer that was being used to decode the chip? All by themself and without making a single, solitary peep? Come _on_! That not only takes skill, but a certain amount of inside knowledge, you _can't_ deny that. It reeks of an inside job. If it really _was_ Charlie, he could've slit our throats without a problem, but he didn't, and I have to wonder why. And that _smiley_ face? Since when do professional killers leave notes and **_smiley faces?!"_**
"Harrison-" Huck tried to interject, but he could tell that he was of the mood that he needed to express himself and couldn't be silenced.
"Not only that, but I show you _evidence_ that this chick is a fraud and for some odd reason she's not out in the cold. How is it that she's still sleeping in your bed? Why are you sleeping with the enemy?" Harrison demanded.
"She is _not_ a fraud, and she is definitely _**not**_ our enemy-"
"But Huck, if she's not who she says she is then what would _you_ call it?" Harrison asked, folding his arms across his chest.
"You wouldn't understand. It's a long story and at this juncture in the road, it's not important," Huck countered.
"'I wouldn't _understand_? Seriously? What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean? Do you mean to tell me that you've been _in_ on this little secret of hers this _whole_ time and you've been hiding it from me? Who _**are**_ you?" Harrison asked with an almost pained expression on his face. "Since when do we keep important shit like this from each other? You're dead wrong for that! I have a right to know who is laying up in our house and who I'm doing dirt with. It's not only me you have to think about, but Olivia, too, and Fitz? All of our lives are at stake here. Our safety _and_ our freedom. We can't afford to not all be on the same page!"
"We've been bugged," Huck replied, momentarily ignoring Harrison's rant.
"Huh? Didn't you hear _anything_ I just said?"
"I haven't swept in four days, that's the only thing that makes sense. While we were out surveilling Billy he must've had Charlie counter surveilling us. We have to get in touch with Liv and Fitz, but we can't leave this house until we sweep it with a fine tooth comb, change all the locks, the whole nine. Can't afford to make any more mistakes."
Harrison shook his head but said nothing as he turned to leave the room. Huck put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, "Harrison, you know exactly who I am, I'm still the same old Huck that I've always been. I know you think things have changed, or rather that _I've_ changed, but I haven't. You're still my very best friend in the world and my partner. When everyone else wrote I me off as a social leper, you were the only one who defended and befriended me. We're brothers, you know that, but Quinn and I just click. She gets me...You should understand that, you have Olivia," Huck reasoned.
"Whoa, _so_ not the same thing," Harrison rebuffed him.
"Well, you know what I'm saying, obviously you guys are related. I just mean that we have similar backgrounds, in a way, and that you two are friends, _independent_ of me. I'm sure there are things that Liv shares with you that she that you wouldn't tell me because it would upset her. Right?"
Harrison paused, "Yeah, I guess. But geez, nothing like this!"
"But even if it _was_ something like this, you still wouldn't tell. I know you wouldn't, because you didn't tell Olivia the things that I've shared with you in confidence. It's the same thing. Of course I wanted to tell you, but it wasn't my secret to tell. I hope you can understand that. When the time is right, though, we'll talk."
"And you get to decide when the time is right?"
"I do. Let's just get through the current curveball at hand, that issue is completely tangential. Once we get this Billy and Charlie stuff figured out, we will all sit down and have a real talk, clear the air. Now is not the time, though. Did you even consider the fact that dropping that 'bomb' on me yesterday could have epically fucked my head up before the possible confrontation with Charlie? That could have ended up costing one or both of us our lives. We're already at a disadvantage dealing with someone who has a ton more experience and resources than us. Our heads needs to be strictly in the game. Just know that Quinn is on our team. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. At least concerning this, anyway. Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I do," Harrison finally relented.
"So then _act_ like it," Huck countered, playfully punching his shoulder. "I love you, bro. Whatever happens, _you_ have my loyalty, **_always_**. I would always choose you, but I hope you won't make me choose. Are we good?"
Harrison smirked, "For now."
Huck put his arm around Harrison's shoulders, "Come on, we have bad guys to catch."
* * *
Olivia readjusted herself in Fitz's arms with her eyes squeezed tightly shut to keep out the bright rays of morning light. She was semi-conscious, but doing her best to delay her awakening because everything just felt so perfect in that very moment. She felt safe and warm in the arms of the man she never wanted to live without and the entire world felt calm.
In that in-between, almost-awake state, it was almost as if there weren't any worries or problems on the horizon to grapple with, and Olivia didn't feel quite ready to break out of their perfect little cocoon to face the madness of reality. Even though she could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel concerning their Billy Chambers issue, she knew they couldn't relax, _truly_ relax, until their plan was fully executed. Between now and then anything could go wrong.
"Stop moving," he mumbled into her ear, his lips brushing softly against the sensitive skin on her neck.
"Hmm?" she answered coyly, trying to close the already almost microscopic gap between their bodies.
Fitz nibbled her lobe gently and slipped a hand beneath her shirt and down over her hips to finally rest between her thighs. "I _said_ stop moving. I'm incredibly hard and you're not helping."
She chuckled and turned around in his arms. "Now whose problem is _that_?"
"It's about to be _yours_ in a second, if you don't quit," he grinned before descending on her lips. Olivia ran her hands slowly down his bare chest, slipping her dainty fingers beneath the fabric of his boxer briefs and continuing her tempting trail downwards until she was holding his hardness between her digits. A shiver went down his spine as she moved her lips to his neck and nipped at his skin lightly, her bites and strokes increasing in pressure to match the pace of his quickening breathing.
"I'm _never_ gonna quit," she whispered into his ear and he let go of the guttural growl he had been holding in the back of his throat.
"You are mine," he whispered as he used his weight to push her back flat onto the bed and take control. Her touch and her words had set him ablaze and only the wetness inside of her could put out his fire. Olivia wrapped her hands around the side of his face, clasping onto his ears to bring his lips back down onto hers. Fitz ran his fingers down her stomach until he reached the lace of her thong, initially intending to take them off of her, but deciding last second to leave them on. He grabbed her thigh and wrapped it around his waist as he moved the tiny fabric to the side and hovered over her, positioning himself to enter her.
"I need you," she moaned as he grazed his shaft along her slippery opening, teasing her.
Fitz had just pushed himself inside of her when the sound of banging on their bedroom door made them both almost jump out of their skin.
The door swung half way open and Harrison's head peeked throughmwith one hand covering his eyes, "Look, I'm sorry-"
"Harrison, get **_out_**!" Olivia shrieked.
"Yo, I've been calling you guys for over two hours! It's almost nine o'clock! Get the hell up and get dressed! There's an emergency!" he screamed and the door slammed shut.
Olivia palmed her face and groaned, "Oh. My. _God_."
"Well, _that_ was awkward," Fitz chuckled and kissed the hand that covered her face. "At least we were mostly under the covers, right? Hey, look at me."
She lowered her hand and pouted.
"I love you," he told her with a kiss. "We should get out of bed, though."
Olivia sighed, "I wonder what's wrong, _now_."
"I have a funny feeling we're about to find out."
* * *
"Sorry guys," Olivia apologized sheepishly as the couple joined the rest of the group in the living room ten minutes later.
"_Umm_-hmmm," Harrison replied in a tone that indicated that he wasn't wholly convinced that she was sorry. "What happened to first thing in the morning?"
"What do you want me to do? Kneel and kiss your ring? I just said I was sorry," Olivia fired back.
"So," Fitz offered more cheerfully, "what's the latest?"
"The girl is gone," Huck informed them flatly.
"_**Who**_?! _Amanda_?" Olivia asked incredulously.
"Yeah, her, and we're pretty sure Charlie did it. It gets worse," Huck added.
"Lay it on us," Fitz urged him.
Huck sighed and looked up at the ceiling, "He got into the safe and stole the chip back."
Olivia looked from Huck to Harrison to Quinn, "_Please_, tell me this is your sick idea of a joke." When no one spoke she finally accepted that they had collectively fumbled the interception. "I could almost cry," Olivia sighed defeatedly. "He is _such_ a freaking pain in our ass! Do...do you guys think he killed her?"
"Well, I'm about ninety-nine percent sure he didn't call up to take her out for an early breakfast. Billy must have sent him in to extract her once they heard our little plan to blow up their spot when we were talking in the kitchen last night. Oh yeah, another thing, our _house_ was bugged. You know, you almost have to admire the guy," Harrison huffed as he leaned back into the couch and everyone glared at him. "_What_?! It's true. The asshole is good. On the wrong side of the playing field, but damned good. We could stand to learn a thing or two from him. He really knows how to stay ahead of the competition."
"Not the best time for declarations of admiration, Harrison," Olivia chided him and he just shrugged. "You're right, though. He's slicker than black ice. But even so, we can't just give up. We're in too deep to turn back now. We have to come up with something."
The room had been silent for a few moments when Fitz had finally turned to her and saw the familiar look of intense thought and perseverance on her face. "What are you thinking, Livi?"
"I don't know. I'm just...it's kind of a reach," she answered flippantly but he could see that she was formulating an idea.
"Where we're at right now, we need every single idea we can get. A reach just may be our best bet at this point," Fitz assured her in effort to get her to reveal her thoughts.
"Okay, well...it depends on a lot of things, but just humor me for a second. Are there any guys on the council that you know for sure are not on Billy's payroll? You've mentioned Councilman Lewis to me a few times, do you think he's trustworthy? And is there anyone else?"
"A few that I can think of off the top of my head, but the only three prominent enough to be worth mentioning are Thompson, Blake and Lewis. Lewis being the most influential of the three. The ward he represents has the most voting power and he has connections to a lot of influential people. He's a very smart man and he's about as trustworthy as it can get, as far as City Hall is concerned."
"Do you think he'd be willing to meet with you?"
"Sure, I don't see why not. He as the one who tabled the land vote until further notice, seeing as how I was hurt. We're pretty friendly, on a first name basis."
"And the other two?" She asked hopefully.
"I can't say, but It's worth a shot. They all voted with me against Billy. So I can set it up under the guise of it pertaining to that to get them through the door."
"What if...what if you went back to work today? Call in and pretend as if things are on the way back to normal, update the office on your progress and let them know you're ready to get back into the swing of things. As soon as that's handled, set up a quick informal meeting with them if they'll see you and lay what we've found."
"And what is the end goal?" Huck asked.
"To stage a coup, of sorts. Fitz is not the only enemy Billy has made through his heavy handed action and from what you've told me, it seems like quite a few would love to see him gone. If you can convince one or all of them to stand beside you and bring this issue to the attention of the rest of the board it would put the spotlight on Billy and put him under the microscope. He can't kill everyone and there's power in numbers."
"That still leaves Charlie," Harrison reminded them. "I don't know if I feel comfortable leaving him out there in the world somewhere, possibly watching us. Even if you can convince the Councilmen to boot him, how long would it take for Chambers to be arrested? There's no guarantee that he'll call off his dog."
"I have an idea," Quinn piped up for the first time. "I think I know a way we can get to him, but it's going to require a little bit of blood."
* * *
Fitz watched her fumble with his tie for the third time before he stopped her. The crease in her brow and the slight tremble of her bottom lip told him that she was anxious and her mind was in overdrive thinking of the worst possible case scenarios. Although him going to City Hall for this meeting was her idea, he could now see that she was a bit afraid to let him go, as ironic as it may be.
"Honey, I don't mind tying it myself," he tried to relax her, taking her hands from his neck and placing them at her side.
"No, I've got it," she insisted, her fingers untying the poorly made knot. "It's just been awhile."
He covered her hands with his and brought them to his lips. "You're anxious. Don't be. Everything is going to be just fine, I promise you," he assured her.
She buried her face in his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Fitz, I can't lose you again. I can't-"
Fitz raised her head so he could see her."Hey, you never lost me, and you never will. I love you too much to die," he smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm just worried, babe. You know _he's_ going to be down there. What if he tries to-. What if he tries something?"
"Liv, he'd be crazy to try something down there. City Hall is probably the securest building in the city. He may not even realize that I'm there since it's so last minute. Also, Quinn will be right out front of my office and and we're riding back together. You yourself said she was, and I quote, 'a little off and violent,' right? Best company I could have. Plus, Huck will be outside of the building, doing his thing. No one is going to try anything. I'm coming home to you as soon as I can."
"Promise?"
"I swear it to you. Now," he stepped back, offered out a hand and bowed his head slightly, "may I have this dance?"
She eyed him quizzically, "What?"
He smirked, "Don't you hear the music, Livi? I was wondering if I might have this dance?"
She shook her head and smiled in spite of herself, placing one hand in his delicately into his, "Of course you may."
He pulled her close and began waltzing them in small circles around the room. It was silly and ridiculous, but on a day like this they needed silly and ridiculous. She giggled as he twirled her about the space between their bed and their bathroom. He didn't feel nearly as sure as he had made himself sound, but he needed her to believe in him. If he walked out of the door and the last thing he saw was the look of uncertainty and worry on her face, he would be worrying about her worrhing about him, and he couldn't afford to be distracted. His eye needed to be on the prize.
* * *
Fit sat in front of the three men and pled his case earnestly, praying that the words sounded more convincing to their ears than they did to his own. Nevertheless, the looks on the men's faces were telling him that his innate persuasiveness was not shining through. Councilman Thompson looked bemused, Blake appeared worried and Lewis remained stoic.
"So you had the chip and you **_lost_** it?" Thompson asked for the third time.
"Yes, however-"
"And we're supposed to put our lives and livelihoods on the line for this, why?" Blake joined in. "Chambers is not really the kind of guy you want to go against around here."
"Gentlemen, what I'm trying to convey to you is that the administration we're currently employed by is fraudulent and corrupt. As long as Billy Chambers is free to roam City Hall and bully everyone in his path, Boston will never be able to progress or prosper because it will remain a slave to avarice. He is a cancer and his influence will continue to spread unless we intercede. Chambers would watch this whole city burn if it meant lining his pockets. This is an election year. How much longer are you willing to submit yourselves to this madness? Lewis, in your ward alone there have been five construction projects in the last three fiscal years that have been usurped by Tyne, three in yours, Blake and two in Thompson's. They are bleeding this city dry, and I, for one, won't stand for it," Fitz declared.
"You're not even _from_ Boston," Thompson countered. "What do you care?"
"Martin Luther King said it best, 'An injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.' Boston may not be my hometown, but it's my home now. I care because by sitting idly by, we're complicit in it. Think about all of the resources this city has that are being wasted, and all off the important things that we could have built with the space and resources that Tyne has stolen? More affordable housing for the middle class and low income residents in your ward that is direly needed, Blake. Or how about another elementary school to deal with the gross overcrowding in your ward, Lewis? Or space to add another wing to the hospital to alleviate the E.R overflow which is a major issue in your ward, Thompson? Think of the possibilities. You not only owe to yourselves, you owe it to the people who have voted for you."
The room was silent and then Blake cleared his throat. "I admit you make a lot of sense and argue a great case Councilman Grant, but you have to realize what you're asking of us. Each of us would be making a number of powerful enemies by getting involved with this. You yourself saw first hand what happens to people who make waves, and no offense, but I don't necessarily want to join you in that boat."
"So in other words, no," Fitz read between the lines.
"I'm saying-I'll think about it," Councilman Blake replied quickly as he rose from his seat. "I will be in touch," he added as he offered his hand for a shake.
"Understood," Fitz stood and shook the man's hand genially, a politician's smile on his face even though inside he was reeling.
"I will be in touch as well," Thompson declared after clearing his throat, using that moment to make his departure as well.
"Well, thank you for hearing me out." Fitz watched the two men leave and then turned his attention back to his remaining audience. He hadn't spoken or even made an expression in the presence of the other two councilmen, but he was still seated, which had to count for something. Fitz was on a much friendlier basis with John Lewis than the other two men, having shared a few lunches and political conversations.
"And then there were two," Councilmen Lewis finally spoke with a small, knowing smile.
"And then there were two," Fitz repeated as he sat, unsure of what else to say. He was at a loss for more powerful words than the ones he head already uttered.
"It sounds to me like you have a real problem on your hands, bud. Chambers has got one hand your balls and the other wrapped around your throat," he chuckled.
"That's one way of putting it," Fitz tittered.
"Fitzgerald, you remind me of myself when I was a younger man, twenty odd years ago. You have spirit and integrity and I admire that. That's one of the reasons why I backed you in the whole voting ordeal, on top of the fact that those Tyne bastards are getting greedier and bolder each passing year. Something must be done. If I lose any more low incoming housing to their antics, I won't be able to get reelected next go around. Billy walks around here untouchable for the most part because he has he has friends in high places, but I have friends, too. Friends in the State Attorney's office...who have been just _itching_ to clean house around here."
"Really?"
"Really. First Assistant State Attorney General David Rosen, in particular, owes me a favor. Also he's truly a good guy, wears the white hat and all that. I would be willing to get in touch with him and get the ball rolling on this investigation. I can try to set something up for the three of us to talk this afternoon," Councilman Lewis offered.
"That's more than I could have hoped for coming into this, John. But there does remain the pesky problem of the missing evidence, however," Fitz reminded him.
"There _is_ that. But politics, like poker, requires a certain amount of bluffing. Once Rosen is informed of what you've seen it with your own two eyes, he'll be like a dog with a bone. The voter fraud, especially, is no small matter and this place is going to be crawling with investigators. As many things as he's involved with, I'm willing to bet that they'll find a way to make something stick. His cohorts will get worried about saving their own hides and will quickly start talking once the hammer comes down. Reston will need to put as much distance between his administration and Chambers as possible and Billy's days here will be numbered."
"And what would you need from me in order to make this happen?" Fitz asked cautiously. The offer, while great, sounded almost too good to be true and the past few months had taught him to be wary.
"Let me ask you something, Fitz. Where do you see yourself, professionally speaking, in say two years?" John answered his question with a question.
Fitz paused, "Honestly, John, I'm not even sure anymore. A few months ago if you had asked me that question, I would have said I see myself right in the middle of the political arena, affecting change in a meaningful way. But at this point, I'm unsure where my professional future lies. It seems that I've walked right into the lion's den upon taking this current position and I've been so focused on survival that I haven't had a moment to think that far ahead. I love sitting on the council, but I'm unsure of what my standing will be here. And yourself?"
"In two years, I see myself as mayor of this city," he answered simply and Fitz raised his eyebrows at that. "Like you, I hate witnessing what this once thriving city has turned into. When I was growing up, this town was overflowing with jobs. A man could get off the train at sundown on Sunday and would have a good paying job by sunset on Monday. People took pride in their homes and it meant something to say you were a Bostonian. We were a real, American, working class city where you could pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make something of yourself if you truly wanted to, but those days are gone. In my day, the politicians used to answer to the people, not the other way around. I want to take it back to those days and I need your help to do it."
Fitz was taken aback, "How can help you with that?"
"First, we get rid of Billy and in the process neutralize Reston, either he'll be forced to resign in the face of a scandal or stand alone on his own tarnished name come this November. You're a communications whiz and you know how to effectively work a crowd. I want you to run with me, Fitz, as the Deputy Mayor."
"Wow, but no one has held that position in over-"
"Ten years, I know," Lewis finished his sentence. "and the position isn't quite in the charter anymore, but that's simple enough to take care of. Your role as head of communications has more duties than what Deputy Mayor used to entail, but it's about titles and perceived power in this town. We have the numbers on the council to pass an amendment to the charter, that's the easy part. What's really crucial is what the move to reinstate the position and run together represents. I'm an old face around here, the older people know and respect my work, but I have to find a way to connect with the younger generation of voters as well. That's where you come in. You're young, you'rehandsome, you have bright ideas and connection to the Harvard world, and you're in an interracial marriage. You represent progress, Fitzgerald. The future. I need to promise these people a brighter future in order to win."
"John, this sounds like-"
"A lot, I know," the man interjected again. "But you said you needed a lifeline and I'm throwing you one. Sink or swim, Fitzgerald. After we win, you'll be my right hand and you can consider it to be a launching pad for you to establish yourself here in Boston. Blake, Thompson, those guys don't have vision, they're born followers. You and I are leaders. It's time to swim, Fitzgerald."
* * *
**A/N: hope this chapter answered some questions and you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think!**
29. Loaded
**A/N: Soooo sorry I'm so late with the update :'(! I was having technological difficulties, but the good news is this a long one! Plus, the epilogue will be up on a couple of days & the sequel will begin this week! Hope you enjoy & let me know what you think.**
* * *
Fitz paced his office in circles, a nervous habit he had picked up from Olivia, to burn off some of his pent up energy. He was still giving himself a pep talk when the phone buzzed and Quinn informed him that Councilman Lewis was ready to prep him for their upcoming meeting.
In that instant, he wanted to call Olivia and tell her about the recent developments quickly before he made his way down there, knowing just the sound of her voice would calm his nerves. Nevertheless, he decided against it and settled for sending a text message instead. It would not do to keep John waiting and it was probably for the best that he see how the meeting with David Rosen went first before jumping the gun. He didn't want to get her hopes up, just for it all to fall through. He closed the door behind him and gave Quinn a hopeful smile as he headed down the stairs towards his destiny.
"No jacket?" The older man asked as Fitz stepped into his office.
"Are we going someplace?" Fitz asked, confused.
He chuckled. "Well you didn't really think we were going to do it here, did you? What with all the, you know," he gestured around.
"True," Fitz realized, he had almost forgotten about Thotrngate.
"Plus we don't want to show our hand too early. Those kind of visitors would raise suspicion and interest around these parts. Chambers has little birds everywhere and would be notified in an instant," John explained.
"Visitors? I thought we were just meeting with-"
"Walk with me, talk with me," John instructed as he headed into the hall. "On second thought, don't worry about the coat. The town car is downstairs waiting around back and it'll chauffeur us door to door. In the car we can speak more candidly."
When the partition glass separating the driver from the two men in the back seat was firmly in place, Councilman Lewis finally broke the silence. "In thirty minutes, the two of us will be lunching with two key people: Assistant State Attorney David Rosen and Associate Justice of the Massachussets Supreme Judicial Court, Verna Thornton. Over the past few months, the three of us have been silently forming what amounts to a coalition against corruption. Rosen's major role will be regarding the criminal investigation. Verna is to be our trump card in terms of getting a case to stick, and most importantly, obtaining a warrant. Like I said, Billy has friends, but so do I. She can pull some strings to make sure David gets a fair judge to hear his motion which at the very least will guarantee a grand jury hearing. It may be a closed hearing, meaning no newspapers or media, but that remains to be seen. If we can get him indicted, and he implicates Reston, the office is going to be ripe for the taking. Even if he doesn't, once the press hears about your role in uncovering this trifle, you'll be a hero and we'll ride this wave right into a November victory."
"And Verna and David? What are they looking to get out of this?" Fitz asked.
Lewis smiled, "Smart guy, I see you've picked up on the fact that everything costs something around here, even doing the right thing. David mostly just wants to make a name for himself and gain his respect back. This isn't his first time going after Billy, but it will be his last if we can't manage to make this stick. His superiors have accused him of being on a witch hunt because every time he builds a case on the guy, evidence and witnesses mysteriously disappear. He has a score to even out and he wants his white hat back. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Now Verna, she's a different sort of animal, I can admit. Chief Justice Leland is creeping up on that mandatory retirement age of seventy in about a year and a half and she has her eyes on his seat."
"But isn't the governor responsible for appointing the next Chief?"
"He is, but you don't think he makes a big decision like that all on his own, do you? No, it's definitely a game of courting and fundraising and back room dealings, much like everything else in this town. The fact that there isn't an official election only serves to make it all the morecutthroat. Verna has an impeccable voting record, very progressive, and a spotless personal history. She's contributed to all the right charities, attended all the right galas, and such, but the fact still remains that she's a woman. If she can make friends in the right places, like City Hall, and the State Attorney's office, she has a fighting chance."
"I see," Fitz responded as he let the wheels turn in his mind. He wasn't sure if these were exactly the people he wanted to get in bed with just yet, but this was what he had in the way of allies. He wasn't naive enough to believe that people would be willing to stick their necks out for him for nothing in return, but it did make him uneasy that he didn't know much about their motives or abilities, except for what he was being fed, and he wondered if he was leaping out of the frying pan into the fire. What he knew of John, he liked and admired very much, but he knew every person had their dark side and demons.
The truth of the matter remained, though, he had very little choice at the moment. It was sink or swim, and without powerful allies he would surely sink. All he could promise himself in this moment was that he was going to do what it took to resolve this situation as smoothly as possibly and keep Olivia and the rest of their circle safe.
"I know what you're thinking, Fitz," John said easily. "You're wondering, if we're about to go to this meeting and wheel and deal for positions and such, how are we any different that Billy? You're wondering if you're going to make promises that you cannot keep, and if you're about to make a deal with a devil. Am I right?"
"In some respects, yes," Fitz admitted.
"The difference between us and them is in intention, Fitzgerald. Isn't that what the law says? The difference between first degree murder and self defense is the state of mind. In both cases the subject has decided that someone needs to be killed, but the motive is what separates the civilized man from the depraved criminal. What the two of us are about to embark on is not the same. We're going to set it up so that it's crystal clear to the public who the better leaders for this city are and make no mistake, thst us. The critical difference is that at the end of the election day, the people will still choose. Each citizen's vote _will_ be counted. No funny business. If they don't choose us, we will have failed, but with integrity...but they _will_ choose us. I have no doubt about that."
* * *
Huck eyed himself in the rear view mirror of his rental as he checked his disguise to make sure it looked decent. Hanging for a few minutes as no to arouse suspicion, Huck was preparing himself to follow Charlie into the gourmet cupcake shop. Today, he was donned in a shaggy blonde wig beneath his Boston Red Sox cap and all his black facial stubble was gone. The day was dark and rainy, so the juxtaposition of his attire wouldn't appear too strange and out of place. Dressed in business casual gear, he adjusted his blazer and sweater, trying to manually iron out the wrinkles that persisted. Huck couldn't take chances in being recognized so he had tried to distort his image as much as possible and he could only hope that he had gone extreme enough.
In his mind, Huck was incessantly going over the details of his plan, making sure every piece was in his mental memory map. He had a plan which would prove to either be his best yet, or his worst ever, but he was hoping for the former. There would be no dropping the ball this time, he couldn't afford to.
After he had gathered his disguise earlier that morning, he had sent Quinn home to prepare for her day at the office while he sat complete silence and he put together his toolkit for today's missions. When he was reviewing the tapes after going over Quinn's idea, something had clicked. Huck had already put together the theory that Charlie was Billy's for hire guy, not his body guard, who acted as would an independent contractor. Knowing this, it struck him as odd that twenty-four hours after both Jake's and Amanda's handling, he had overheard Billy instructing a messenger to deliver the "_sugar cookies_" promptly at three-thirty to Molly's Cupcakes.
Something in his mind told him it wasn't a coincidence, though little much was these days. Why would one be delivering sweets to a bakery instead of _from_ a bakery? He had an intuitive feeling that Charlie had a sweet tooth and this was specifiedtheir drop off spot for payroll, so he was taking a chance. It was swanky and unassuming, with it's seven dollar cupcakes, the last place one would expect to find a hired hit man.
Huck inhaled a sharp breath and counted to ten before exhaling, attempting to shake off the last bit of nervousness still coursing through his veins. Only minutes ago he had laid eyes on the man that his gut told him was his target for the very first time. Wearing a black cap, jacket and jeans, the man stood out to him and he was sure he was closer than ever to the elusive Charlie.
Huck exited the vehicle and walked nonchalantly in the direction of the shop. The atmosphere inside was vibrant, but not to crowded, and he quickly spotted Charlie in a back corner near the bathroom, away from most of the other patrons. Huck ordered a small coffee and apple crumb cake before heading in his target's direction, feigning to look for a table. Without skipping a beat, Huck slid into the empty seat at Charlie's table.
The man snatched his eyes from the reading material, and looked at him. "Billy didn't say he was sending a new guy and where is the briefcase?" He demanded irritatedly.
In response, Huck slipped the gun out of his waistband and placed it on the table facing Charlie, "Don't fucking move."
Charlie's face dropped and then his eyes glistened with recognizance.
"So we finally meet," Charlie snickered. "You killed my fucking fish."
"You've killed a lot of people," Huck responded flatly.
"People are replaceable. Those sharks, however, are not. Do you know how much those things fucking cost? The tanks, the maintenance, -"
Huck felt himself growing irritated, "Shut up about the fish already. Where is Amanda?"
"Where do you think she is?" Charlie answered his question with a question.
"You were at my house this morning, why didn't you kill us?"
"That's not something I've contracted for, yet, and I'm not in the habit of giving out freebies. Guess he was wrong in not seeing you as a real threat. It's nothing personal, kid." Charlie explained in a bored tone, confirming Huck's theory.
"How much does he pay you?"
"What are you? The tickler? Cut it with the questions already. I've been apprehended by much better than the likes of you, so if you plan on killing me, just get it over with already...preferably, before you find a way to fuck this up. Because if you do, trust me, I will kill you, then. But I doubt you have the balls to face the heat that a midday, coffee shop execution will bring on."
"Amanda said you were Ex CIA. Is it true, then?"
"What's it to you?"
"My father was B-432. He was abandoned."
"And I'm supposed to believe that?"
"I'm marked," Huck countered, showed him the small 'X' that was branded on his wrist. "What kind of deal did you get?"
"You don't get deals with the CIA, kid, you take them."
"How do I get a deal with you?"
Charlie looked amused, "How do you mean? You're the one with the gun, or did you forget?"
"I don't want to kill you. I want to learn from you. I mean, if you refuse, I will. But is Billy really worth dying over, Charlie? I'm already good, but I can be better. I can be great. With help. I want to be like you, teach me."
"Do I look like Mr. Miyagi to you? I don't run an orphanage. This isn't a movie. You'll get yourself killed fucking with me."
"Or you'll get yourself killed fucking with me. I guess it remains to be seen, but it's a chance I'm willing to take. I'm obedient and I'm smart...and I'll pay you."
"Now, we're talking. But before we go any further, I'm going to give you a task to complete. If you can wrap Billy up as a loose end, we can do business. I'm about tired of him anyway. Really demanding, bitch of a client."
* * *
Olivia let out an audible groan as she laid back on the couch and stared up at the living room ceiling. She had been reading the same introductory paragraph of Carter Cohen's argument for over an hour to no avail. Changing rooms and surfaces to find the perfect fit like Goldilocks, Olivia had first tried working spread out across the bed, but found it was too soft and smelled too much like Fitz. Next, she had tried sitting at the large desk in his study, but she found his chair to be unforgiving on her back and impossible to settle into, so she had finally come to inhabit the living area.
The sofa wasn't too hard or too soft, so she couldn't use that as an excuse, but somehow she still could not manage to concentrate. Every time she focused her thoughts on the page in front of her face for more than a few minutes, images of Fitz and what could possibly be happening downtown popped into her mind and she couldn't help but worry just a little.
Before he had left for the day, Fitz had tried to ease her fears through distraction, making her laugh by waltzing her around the room and kissing her until she was breathless. And it had worked, for a bit. But Olivia was a worrier by nature, especially concerning those she loved, and found that relaxing was easier said than done.
The thought of Fitz being in the same vicinity as that snake Billy Chambers was enough to put her on edge. She had already dialed his office number a handful of times and erased it, knowing that it was way too soon to call and it would probably just serve as an unnecessary distraction. Nevertheless, she still wanted nothing more than to hear his voice and be sure he was not in any direct danger.
Olivia sighed again and resigned once again to focus when she heard the vibrations of her phone against the floor. She retrieved it from its downward facing position in a flash and the message on the screen made her smile in spite of her worries.
**I love you and everything is going to be okay. Going well**
**I love you more babe, hurry up home :)** She replied, trying to keep it light with a smiley face.
Olivia put the phone back onto the floor and finally felt the motivation to buckle down.
_He said he was fine,_ _and if he's texting me, everything is okay. He's not hurt, at the very least,_ Olivia told herself.
She had finally made it onto the third paragraph of Carter's essay when she heard the distinct rumblings of her phone again, this time indicating that someone was calling her. Hopeful that it was Fitz, she grabbed it and answered before looking at the caller ID.
"Hi," Olivia smiled into the phone.
"Hi. What ya _doooin_'?" Harrison asked in a silly voice.
"Oh, it's you," she replied disappointedly.
"Geez, nice way to greet your favorite cousin," he scolded her.
"Sorry, I just thought it was-"
"_**Fitz**_, I know, but alas, it's just old Harrison. So, watcha doin'?"
"Sitting around being a worry wart," she confessed. "I should really be reading papers, but I'm not, I'm trying, though. You?"
"Homework. I was wondering if you could maybe, possibly, help me with something?"
"Of course, anything."
"I just need someone to listen to my presentation, give me a couple of pointers here and there. I have a mock trial the day after tomorrow and I don't feel one lick of ready. I'm responsible for the opening argument, which is still pretty rough, and an accompanying paper, which I also haven't finished yet. To be honest, I've only written the introduction in my mind. "
"Why don't you come over?" Olivia offered. "We can work side by side, I'll make lattes with whipped cream and extra shots of espresso. It'll be fun." She always found it easier to work in his presence, it gave her a sense of urgency, and every so often, the opportunity to goof off.
"Awesome, I'm there."
"Cool, how long until you get here? I just need to finish getting dressed, and a couple of things," she told him as she rose from her spot on the couch. She had taken a quick shower after Fitz had left and was lazily lounging around in her undergarments.
"Umm, I'm already downstairs, actually," Harrison chuckled.
"L-o-l, what?"
"I mean, I didn't really plan on you saying no, _so_...I kind of drove over here and then called. "
"_Wowwww_," Olivia said with exaggerated surprise. "Well at least this time I'll be somewhat prepared for you. Wouldn't want a repeat of that move you pulled this morning!"
"What?! Hey, I _did_ call and I didn't even see anything. We didn't have another hour to spare for you two to get your freak on. It wasn't fun for me either, believe me, but it had to be done."
Olivia rolled her eyes into the phone. "Whatever, Harry, just know that revenge is a dish best served cold. Your time will come. You wont even see it coming," she warned.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. _Anyway_, I'm getting out of the car now."
"Okay, come on up, then,_ I guess_," she teased.
"See you in t-minus ninety-nine seconds...and put on the Hazelnut roast blend. It helps me think!"
* * *
Fitz pulled out his phone as he and Quinn crossed the parking lot to the car to finally call Olivia. He had arrived back to his office a little over an hour ago and after completing a few assignments, decided to take his leave for the day. The working lunch with Verna Thornton and David Rosen had solidified the plans to neutralize Billy as a threat and he felt like progress was being made in the right direction.
The phone rang twice before she answered, "Hey baby."
"Hi sweetheart. Quinn and I are on the way right now."
"Awesome. I'll see you soon, then. I love you."
"I love you more," he told her as he settled into passenger side seat.
A couple of minutes into their ride, Fitz was staring out of the window in silence as Quinn waited at a red light and tapped on the steering wheel.
He was still trying to let the recent developments of the past few hours sink in. Deputy Mayor? Of Boston? _Him_? No matter how light the duties, it was a big title, a power move that likely would put him right in the center of more political warfare. Fitz couldn't help but wonder if he was the right man for the job and old feelings of inadequacy had already begun to spring up and take root. Fitz knew what it was like to run for an office and lose and he had only in the last few months climbed out from under the crushing weight of that intimate brush with failure.
The meeting with Verna and David had went well, and they had all felt confident that their ticket could win, but still, he felt the gnawing persistence of self-doubt. But that was not his only source of anxiety. He was worried that once the ball got rolling, the idealism would fall away and he would be left in a precarious situation, indebted and tied to people to who may have more nefarious intentions then they had initially let on. Fitz had no alternatives though, so he would have to make the best of a murky situation and look at the silver lining. He was gaining a second chance to build the political career of his dreams and this time without his father or Mellie to undermine him.
"Hey, Fitz?" Quinn interrupted hesitantly in a small voice that almost made him feel bad for being so visibly withdrawn. He had pretty much ignored her presence since he had gotten back from his off site rendezvous, having had locked himself in his office and retreated to his own thoughts and work.
"Sorry I've been so quiet, just thinking. What's up?"
"May I ask you something? It's completely unrelated to work, but I just needed to talk to someone," she pleaded.
"Of course, anytime. What's on your mind?"
"This is kind of random," she started off, "but...how did you know Olivia was the one you wanted to marry?"
Fitz looked over at the Quinn, "Where is this coming from?"
"Nowhere, it's just...today, after I left your apartment I had to go home to get dressed appropriately for work and I finally had a long, overdue talk with Stephen. He was not very happy with me, which wasn't surprising, but umm, he asked me to marry him, which was very, _very_ surprising. I don't even know what would possess him to do that."
"Wow, and how did you respond?" Fitz asked, genuinely surprised.
"I was speechless. I honestly thought he was going to break up with me, not _propose_. Somehow, it seems like the more I pull away, the harder he clings. Anyway, he said for me to think about it, I don't need to answer right away, and so I didn't. The ring was really nice..." she trailed off.
"But?" Fitz filled in the question that hung in the air.
"_But_, I'm not sure if it's the right move for me, for _us_. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's not. Still, it doesn't seem smart to say no. Don't get me wrong, Stephen is a stand up guy and I do love him...we've been together for a long time. Four years. He keeps me grounded and gives me some semblance of normalcy. He's stable...I need that, I should _want_ that," Quinn insisted.
"But?"
"_**But**_ I don't think that I do, and I'm not certain if that love is enough to sustain our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship anymore, let alone a marriage. Being with Stephen is familiar and comfortable, but if I'm being honest, I'm not fulfilled and don't know what to say or how to fix that. Is it even something that could be fixed? _Should_ be fixed? I let this façade go on for so long, I'm not even sure what it would be like to not be with him," Quinn confessed.
Fitz inhaled deeply, "Quinn, I'm not really sure if I'm the right person to seek out for advice on this matter, but I will say that normalcy is overrated. Marriage is not a means to an end, or at least it shouldn't be, and it doesn't matter whether that end is material or intangible. It's a serious vow meant to be a lifetime commitment, about spending the rest of your life with the person who makes life worth living. I've been married once before, and for all the wrong reasons, so I'm speaking from a personal place here."
"Wow, really? I didn't know that."
"Yeah, it seems like a lifetime ago now. It was a begrudging proposal with a pretty nice ring. The ceremony included lots of fanfare, bells and whistles, hundreds of people, photographers, hundreds of thousands of dollars spent, but do you know what I felt inside? Absolutely nothing. Well, that's not completely true, I felt intoxicated. In fact, I'm almost embarrassed to admit how drunk I was as I walked down the aisle. I went into it knowing that it wasn't right, but telling myself that it was what I needed. The entire time leading up to the day I kept thinking, 'don't sweat it Fitz, it's going to be okay. If this doesn't work out, you can always get a divorce.' Needless to say, it didn't work out and it did end in divorce."
"So, you think I should say no," she inferred.
"Quinn, I can't make that choice for you. That's for you to decide. I just said all that to say, don't marry Stephen for what he can offer you, marry him because you want to be with him and you won't settle for anything less. Believe me, if you do it for any other reason, it will haunt you. You will pay for the normalcy with your spirit and you will resent him and eventually you may end up hurting him. I knew Olivia was the one I wanted to marry because after we kissed, I felt it in my heart that no other woman, and no other love would ever do. It hasn't exactly been easy, but nothing worth having is, and there isn't any price I'm not willing to pay. I could have chosen normal, but I don't want a normal love, and deep inside, I don't think you do, either. I want life changing, extraordinary, love and I think I deserve it, too."
"Is that what you have with Olivia?"
Fitz genuinely beamed for the first time since leaving the apartment that day, "I'd like to think so. In fact, I know so. Way before we ever tied the knot, I sat back and thought about it and there are probably millions of reasons I could have come up with for why the two of us shouldn't be together and why it wouldn't work. I can't say it didn't frighten me a bit thinking of all the different ways us being together could have blown up in my face, but in the end it didn't matter because the fear never overpowered the love. All i can say is, follow your heart, Quinn."
* * *
Minutes later Fitz was jangling his key in the top lock, but before he could get the door open, it swung forward and Olivia was there in the doorway. His smile came effortlessly as she kissed him and them ushered the pair into the house. Harrison was standing in the center of the living room, apparently practicing some type of oral argument or persuasive presentation. Fitz planted himself on the couch to listen and Olivia sat down beside him. With his eyes still on Harrison, Fitz wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. She kissed his jaw and intertwined her fingers with his just as Harrison was concluding his monologue.
"So, what'd you guys think? Any pointers?" Harrison asked eagerly.
Fitz offered no criticism since he had only been present for the end portion, but Olivia went over a number of points that she thought would make his argument stronger.
"Thanks, Liv. I'm going to make those adjustments," Harrison said as he sat down on the floor in front of his laptop.
Since there was a lull in the conversation, Olivia turned to Fitz, "Babe, I, uh, broke something in the room earlier after you left. You should come take a look at it real quick. Maybe you can fix it."
He looked down at her and caught her quick wink. "Oh okay, yes, let me take a look. Harrison, Quinn, we'll be right back guys," Fitz informed them, standing as soon as Olivia removed herself from his lap. She grabbed his hand began leading him down the hallway to their room and no sooner than the door had clicked into place behind him, she had his back pushed up against it and her lips were attacking his.
He broke their frenzied kiss for half a second and watched as her face register the momentary lack of contact. "So, did you truly break something, or was that just an excuse to get me all alone?" he asked, teasing her.
She wrapped her hands around his ears and brought his face down for another kiss. "An excuse to get you alone," she confessed with a wicked grin.
"I thought so," he smiled onto her lips as his hands slid down her body to cup her ass and use his tongue to trace her mouth.
"How did it go today, down there?" she whispered, almost moaning.
He moved his face to her hair, inhaling her scent before pressing his pelvis against hers. "The short version or the long?"
"Short," she answered quickly, her fingers deftly undoing the buttons of his shirt. She almost didn't want to ask about it at all until the group was all together, preferring to take their time alone to shower him with kisses and affection, but the curiosity was gnawing at her.
Fitz rubbed her cheek with his thumb, "Lewis wants Reston's position, which is much more likely with Billy out of the way, so he's willing to help. He wants me to be deputy mayor."
She raised her eyebrows in surprised, "Baby, that's a huge deal."
He shrugged, "I'm pretty sure the position sounds a lot more important than it is. I mean, I would certainly have some type of influence and power. Overall, though, I basically would amount to being the understudy, that is if he even wins, and if he can get the amendment to pass."
"A lot of ifs, huh? But still, it's pretty exciting."
"Yeah, it is. If I play my cards right, I could make some interesting connections and who knows where it'll go. Nevertheless, the _'if_' I'm most concerned about right now is if all this is going to be enough to keep Billy off our ass. But hey, we can talk about that later," he lowered his tone a register and began walking her backwards towards the bed.
She laid back on the bed and smiled at him softly as his body joined hers, "Baby, we probably shouldn't leave them out there by themselves for too long. You know those two can barely stand each other."
He looked at her seriously, the dangerous twinkle in his eyes ever present. "Harrison can take one for the team. He owes us one from earlier...," he reminded her as he unbuttoned her jeans and undid the zipper. "All I need is twenty minutes."
She pulled back from his kiss and eyed him carefully, "You're okay though, right? It really went okay?"
"I would tell you if it didn't," Fitz assured her. "Cross my heart, it did. In fact, I would go so far as to say it went better than okay. The meeting went pretty well. And yes, I know you worry about me, but I'm fine babe. You know, I _could_ be a little better, though. I'm feeling a little light headed, I think my blood sugar is low. I need a snack."
"It is almost dinner time. What are you in the mood for?"
"My favorite treat..._you_. I think a slice of Olivia pie will do, for now."
"I love you Fitz," she laughed.
"I love you, too, my sweet, sexy, beautiful, lovely, Livi. Now lay back and I'm gonna show you exactly how much," he whispered.
* * *
"So," Quinn broke the silence, "your presentation looked pretty good. Almost finished?"
"Yeah," Harrison replied curtly, his eyes unmoving from the computer screen.
Quinn bobbed her head and twiddled her fingers nervously, trying to find a way to further the conversation. It was rare that the two of them ever occupied a room together alone, so this was a new and awkward experience. Nevertheless, even amongst the group, Quinn had noticed that Harrison rarely, if ever, spoke directly to her. It was awkward and she wanted it to end. "Only a couple more weeks until school is out...You ready for summer break?"
"Sure am."
"Have any plans for the summer, yet?"
He sighed, obviously annoyed by the forced conversation. "Nope, just focusing on finishing out the semester, first."
"Cool...well, if you need a little help, I'd be more than willing," Quinn offered. "I did pretty well in law school, myself."
Harrison huffed, "I'm good. But thanks, anyway."
Quinn sighed, "Harrison, why do you _**hate**_ me so much?"
Harrison finally unstuck his eyes from the monitor and looked at her. "Why would you say that? I don't hate you."
"Maybe hate isn't the appropriate word for it, but you've certainly made it more than clear that you do _not_ like me. I heard you and Huck talking earlier, you know. Most of it, anyway."
He shook his head. "So you were eavesdropping?"
"I didn't have to _eavesdrop_, you guys were loud enough for damn near the entire neighborhood to overhear! I'm not understanding your disdain for me when I've been nothing but nice to you and all I've done is try to help. I may not have the history you all have, okay, does that mean I don't deserve to come around? Things don't need to be so tense between us. It's uncomfortable and it messes up the group dynamic. I really like you guys, Fitz, Olivia...and Huck, and even you, even though you act like I don't exist."
"And _especially_ Huck, huh?" he asked, piercing her with his gaze.
"Is _that_ what this is about? Look, I'm not trying to be rude, but is there something romantic going on between the two of you? Because you act like I came in and stole yourboyfriends or something!"
"That's funny, because you act like you don't even _have_ a boyfriend. Which we all know you do. It's not fair for you to be toying with his emotions, and I don't appreciate it. Huck is not a plaything for you to use for a bit of excitement until you go back to your normal, boring little life with Stephen, because we _**both**_ know that that's exactly what's going to happen after the dust settles on this. You may not think it's my place, and you're entitled to think whatever you'd like about our relationship, but as his friend _**I**_ care. He deserves better than that."
Quinn turned her eyes to the ceiling, "You're speaking on things you don't know about."
Harrison scoffed, "That's another thing I don't like about you. Too many things don't make sense, and there are too many things about you that I don't know. You're not who you say you are, _Lindsay_, and I don't like frauds."
"Okay, so my name is different, big whoop. That doesn't make me a fraud. People change their names all of the time. If that's the case, do you consider Huck a 'fraud' too, then?"
"Ha!" he snickered, "That is the very _definition_ of a fraud! Huck's situation is completely different, don't try to compare apples and oranges. He never had a choice, we both know that, he's not running on account of his own misdeeds. He did what he had to do to survive."
"And so did I, Harrison, so did I! That's the part you don't know. You want the truth? Here it is, my government name is Lindsay Dwyer, not Quinn Perkins, as you already know. I'm from California, born and raised, not Seattle like I led you all to believe. I lived a relatively boring life until my mother died when I was a preteen, and then it was just my dad and I for a long time. He taught me everything he knew about computers and online data systems and pretty much laid my technological foundation to be a hacker. My first year of college, I decided to live on campus and I had a really hard time fitting in. I thought I would blossom into this social butterfly but it was harder for me than I thought it would be, being away from my dad. Being the geek that I was, I turned to online chat rooms...I met a guy. He was a little older and had money and was cooler than anyone who had ever expressed interest in me, so of course we started dating. It wasn't until a couple of months in that I found out that his 'IT' gig was as a leader of a cyber espionage gang."
"What in the world is that?"
"Basically a band of hack for hires, but they work on large scale attacks on high level targets. Internet pirates. He showed me a lot, and that's how I was able to help Huck to create the code that compromised the Thorngate software. Jason, my ex-boyfriend, was hired by a man named Hollis Doyle to launch attacks on big name corporations and defense contractors that posed as threats to his investments and prospects. The projects seemed to just keep coming in and Jason got tired of risking his freedom for pennies. He demanded to be paid more, said he wanted twenty five percent of each haul. They argued about it for a bit, but then Doyle conceded. Told him he was going to get everything he wanted, _and then some_."
"I had a bad feeling about, but I didn't say anything. Three days after that, we're going to the car to go grab some takeout and last minute I ran back up to the apartment to get my sweater. Seconds later, I hear a big boom and the car is on fire. Blew him to smithereens. _**I**_ was supposed to be in that car, and I knew they wanted me dead, too. I knew too much, so I ran before the coroner could confirm that there was one body instead of two. What else could I do? I used my skills to make a new identity, Quinn Perkins, and start over."
"Quinn,-"
"This isn't something that I _wanted_, it was necessary. I'm sorry if you think I should have been more upfront, but do you see now why I couldn't be?" She chuckled and added, "It would kind of defeat the purpose."
Just then the pair heard the bedroom door open and Fitz and Olivia coming down the hall in their direction.
Olivia grinned at Harrison and then Quinn, "Looks like you two are in cahoots."
Harrison gave Quinn a small, but genuine smile, "Something like that."
"Did you guys want me to give you the rundown on how it went down there now, or once Huck gets back?" Fitz asked the group.
"Now!" Olivia spoke for the group, her arms around his waist.
"Yeah, who knows how long it'll be until Huck gets finished with his business. We should just talk now and then fill him in the important parts when he arrives. He prefers it that way," Harrison reasoned.
"I'm all for that, guys," Quinn chimed in, but could we possibly do it over dinner? Lunch was hours ago, I'm starved!"
* * *
Huck had his toolkit popped open for his appraisal on the passenger's side seat. He had measured, and double measured and triple measured his prepared dosage of Succhinylcholine. Too much of the neurological relaxant could be fatal, and too little could be catastrophic in it's own way. If he jabbed the man and wasn't effective, it would allow him a moment to call out for help or initiate an altercation.
Huck kept a few cars behind as he trailed Billy on his way home from The Irish Tavern. The man had left by himself, not paying attention to his surroundings as he headed to his home after a few beers with colleagues. One would think that a man with as many enemies as he had would be smart enough to travel with an armed security detail, but alas Billy kept it simple and rolled solo. The man believed he was untouchable and his actions reflected that.
Huck had been listening to the tapes of Billy's office for so long that he felt almost as if he knew the man personally. The one word that could encapsulate his entire personality was arrogant, and Huck knew that this flaw would prove to be tragic.
Huck stayed three cars behind the man until two blocks away from his home where the traffic had begun to thin out a bit. He was grateful for the weather which had made the world gray and washed out and would serve as a good distraction from his tailing. When he was inches from the rear of Billy's bright red Ferrari, he made his move, smashing into the car's bumper with enough force that he knew the car would sustain an impact, but not much in the way of significant damage. Billy heavy handedly pressed his car horn and put on his hazard lights as he pulled off to the curb.
Huck put his lights on as well, lowered his cap and slipped out of the car to engage in the confrontation that he knew would undoubtedly ensue. The superficial damage to the fancy car would likely cost a small fortune to repair, and although money was probably not an issue to Billy, Huck could tell that he was the type of guy that liked to flex.
Billy exited the car and slammed his driver's side door with rage, using a newspaper as a makeshift umbrella to ward off the large droplets of precipitation. "You freaking _idiot_! Why do people act like they don't know how to drive in the goddamn rain?!"
Huck kept his posture timid and unassuming, "Sorry, sir, I didn't mean to."
Billy's face was red as he pointed an accusing finger at Huck. "You're going to pay for **_ALL_** of my out of pocket expenses, every last red cent!"
Huck crept closer, "I'll give you my insurance and contact information. Let me get my card out," he feigned as if he was reaching in for his wallet to make his move, but Billy stomped off in the opposite direction.
"Get your shit together and quickly," Billy demanded. "I'll be waiting in the car."
"Even better," thought Huck as he walked back to his vehicle for a moment and pretended to rummage for his insurance information. He double tapped the needle before approaching Billy's driver side window. Huck knocked twice and when the man lowered the glass, he faked as if he was passing the papers and jammed the needle into his veins instead.
Not wasting a moment, Huck popped the lock and swung open the door. Pushing Billy over to the passenger seat like a sack of potatoes, Huck turned off the emergency hazard lights and drove the rest of the way to Billy's house.
"You alright, buddy?" Huck asked with an impish grin. "You've been a real pain in my fucking ass, you know that? You're gonna pay." The man was rendered immobile, but Huck was sure he could hear him. "You've had your fun, and now it's time for me to have mine." He drove down the paved driveway until he reached the two car garage.
The entry to the covered garage was fingerprint operated, so he pulled the man's hand into his lap. "This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you," Huck informed him as he removed a small knife from his pocket. He could see the panic reach the Billy's eyes as the tip of the sharp blade reflected the light of the mirror and gleamed.
Without warning, he yanked the man's arm so that it was close enough to the window that he could press his index finger against the pad. "I guess this is a little easier though," Huck laughed as the man reddened. He knew full well that the system registered not only the fingerprint, but the body heat as well, so cutting off his finger wouldn't be the best route, but he wanted to exact a bit of psychological terrorism on Billy. He had put them through enough.
Huck wished he could just use the knife on the detestable creature's throat and just finish him, and over the past few weeks, he had considered brutally torturing and killing Billy Chambers more than a handful of times. But what gave him pause was his high visibility and profile. Billy had connections and family in high places, and even though he was known far and wide as a greedy bastard, his death would likely be subject to a high profile investigation and scrutiny. Huck wasn't sure if given all their missteps, that he could get away with something bold.
"You wait here, okay?" Huck told him as he took the keys so that he could let himself into the house.
Twenty minutes later he returned to the car, satisfied with what his informal search and seizure had turned up.
Huck let himself back to the car and turned it on before facing Billy. "You're a real asshole, you know that? Why would you keep this? In your nightstand, of all places? I noticed that you don't keep surveillance in the house. The better not to incriminate yourself, my dear. Welp, makes my life easier. It's been real, but today, this all ends. Save a seat for me in hell."
Huck made sure all of the windows were rolled up to the top and moved Billy's body into the driver's side seat before exiting the car. Carbon Monoxide poisoning was far too humane a death for Billy, but it would have to do. An apparent suicide would throw people off, at least for a while.
* * *
Olivia opened the door with a smile and Huck gave his version of a smile back, although he was sure it probably came across as closer to a grimace.
"You're just in time," she greeted him. "We cooked while we waited for you. You hungry?"
"No," he replied simply as he joined everyone else in the dining room. He felt bad that he was about to ruin the happy and relaxed atmosphere, but he was short on time and it had to be done.
"I can take your coat," Olivia offered from behind.
"That's okay, I can't stay for long," he answered, planting his hands firmly into his jacket pockets even though it was warm in the apartment.
"Why can't you stay? Where you going?" Quinn asked curiously, seeming to pick up on his apprehension.
"Away, for a while," he replied vaguely, not making contact with anyone in the room.
He could feel the weight of the question in their eyes crushing him as they looked up at him.
"Away to where, exactly?" Harrison asked.
Huck shrugged, "I can't say. I don't know."
"So then why are you going?" Harrison demanded.
"For business."
"How long will you be gone?" Olivia chimed in.
"I can't say. I don't know," he repeated.
"A week? A month? A _year_?" Fitz threw out.
"I don't know," Huck sighed.
"What about school?" Olivia asked.
Huck shrugged, "I'll figure it out later. I don't need it, you guys know that. I only went because Harrison was going and it was something to do. Maybe I'll finish, maybe I won't, but in the grand scheme of things, it's inconsequential. Look, I'm sorry I can't say more, but just know that I'm handling business, and I'll be in touch when and if I can. And I'll be back."
Huck looked at his watch, "I have to be somewhere in a half an hour, so I only have like fifteen minutes, but I wanted to assure you guys that Charlie won't be a problem going forward. Was City Hall fruitful for you, Fitz?"
"Uh, yeah," Fitz spoke up, still clearly stunned. "Lewis has a plan and has brought in a couple of big guns to neutralize Billy's political stronghold on the city. It's just a matter of paperwork and time. Councilman Lewis is running for Mayor, come November, and he wants me on the ticket as Deputy Mayor. With Charlie out of the way, that pretty much solidifies Billy's demise."
Huck modded and unzipped his jacket and accessed the small treasure hidden in his inner pocket. "This should help," he said, placing the chip on the countertop. "He was stupid enough not to destroy it."
"No way, is that-?"
"The memory card, yes. That should mean a slam dunk for you all. Don't fumble it." He walked closer to where Harrison was sitting and put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "You know where I keep everything, hold down my expenses while I'm away. There should be enough to cover everything until I get back." Harrison shook his hand, there was worry and the desire to demand more answers in his eye, but he knew Huck well enough to know it wouldn't go over well.
Huck moved to Quinn and stood in front of her awkwardly. It was hard enough for him to try to be sentimental, but to do it with her, in front of the group, was just too much. He couldn't find words that seemed appropriate so he just patted her head, "Quinn, be safe."
He shook Fitz's hand, "Good luck."
And lastly he went to Olivia, "Liv," and he nodded at her knowingly.
"You guys can handle it from here," he told them as he turn to leave, not looking back as he closed the door behind him.
* * *
Huck pressed the button to the elevator impatiently as he looked at his watch. If he was late, Charlie would either berate him or leave him, and he wasn't particularly in the mood for either. His body went tense at the sound of the door to Fitz and Olivia's apartment opening and slamming shut.
"So that's just it? No explanation, no nothing? Just a pat on the fucking head, like I'm a pet? What is this about, Huck? Where in the world are you going?"
Huck remained facing the doors of the elevator and closed his eyes, he wasn't sure what to say or what not to say. He didn't understand why she was making this harder for him, she was supposed to be like him, she was supposed to _understand_.
He finally turned around, "Quinn, it's not personal. I have to go and I can't say,-"
"Don't you dare give me that! You have to give me something!" She demanded.
"I'm going to study, okay? To perfect my craft." he finally relented. "Q, I can do better, I can _be_ better than what I am now. We both know the CIA is out of the question for me, my legacy is tainted. If I ever want to be better than a two bit amateur thug and hacker, continuously making amateur mistakes, I need someone who has the knowledge to mentor me. This is my opportunity and there's no guarantee that I'll get another one. So you see, I have to go. This is for me, this is _my_ time."
She staeed at him curiously and began inching forward towards him and he took a step back. "Uhh," he started off nervously and she closed the distance between them, her arms flying around his neck and pressing her lips against his.
Huck's mind went blank at the stunning sensation of her warm, soft, lips beckoning at his. His body responded without the brain's approval and found her rhythm. His arms had just slipped around her waist when the elevator dinged and shocked him out of his haze.
"You're going to teach me everything you know when you get back," she whispered as he pulled away and backed into the waiting lift.
Huck touched his lips and smiled as the elevator doors closed.
* * *
Fitz sat at his desk with his legs propped up, reading the memorandum giving him instructions on his next assignment. It was an easy task, just a short deliverance that Reston was to give at a gala. It was mostly fluff and banter, not very demanding, and so his mind was wandering onto more serious matters.
Two days had passed since he had meet with Johns Lewis' "coalition against corruption" and he was growing anxious. That same night he had turned the chip over to David Rosen and his investigative team and at the moment it had seemed like a slam dunk. Huck had evened the score and the good side seemed to be prevailing over the evil, but he hadn't had much of a word since. He was aware that warrants such took time, but he could help but grow impatient.
He hadn't seen Billy around City Hall since he had been back and whispers had it that he had called out on sick leave for a few days. It was a encouraging, but still, Fitz knew guys like Billy didn't go away quietly, they licked their wounds and regrouped. He was pretty sure that Billy's sudden disappearance had something to do with Huck, who had been short on time and details and his mind naturally drifted to the his unexpected exit.
The entire group had all been stunned at his announcement of departure, but Fitz was hopeful that he would keep his word and return. Whatever it was that had called him away, it must have been significant for him to take off the way he did. Nevertheless, Fitz was confident that Huck would be okay. Huck was a strong guy, and young as he was, he had heart and maturity beyond his years. When he had first inquired about Huck, Olivia had described him as smart and fiercely loyal, and Fitz had experienced that first hand. He wasn't sure if he could ever repay him for all of his help, but if the time ever arose he would definitely try.
The phone rang loudly interrupting his thoughts and Fitz answered on the first ring, "Yes, Quinn?"
"Sir," she addressed him formally, "I have Councilman Lewis on the line."
"Go ahead and put him through," Fitz directed her.
"Hello, Fitzgerald. How are you this fine day?"
"I'm well and yourself?"
"Even better now that all is in order. I just got off of the line with our good friend David and received the news that not two hours from now, agents will be executing a search warrant on Billy's house and associated properties. You should pat yourself on the back, the warrant was granted on account of your excellent work in turning up that smoking gun."
"Wow and it's alright to discuss this over the phone?"
"It sure is," Lewis gloated, "because come noon this story is going to be breaking on the midday news. All the little City Hall birds will fluttering and whispering shortly, but you heard it here first. But listen, Fitz, your job here is just beginning. At the very same time Billy's glass house will be shattering, there's going to be a press conference broadcast live for the major networks, and who better to brief the media on about the recent developments than you? You'll need to prepare something, there are only a couple of hours until show time."
Fitz swallowed deep and exhaled as he placed the phone back on its cradle.
_Well, I was just wanting things to happen. I guess it's true you really should be careful what you wish for._
Not knowing what else to do, Fitz immediately picked up the phone and called Olivia.
"Fitz?"
"Hey babe, It's me. What are you doing?"
"Reading papers in bed, being lazy," she chuckled.
"What are you wearing?" He asked with a smile in his voice.
"Nothing," she teased, lowering her tone. "Why aren't you working?"
He sighed, "I wanted to tell you that I just received a call informing me that Billy's house, storage facility and everything else we uncovered in the surveillance are being raided as we speak."
"Oh my god," she shrieked. "Thats awesome. I can't believe this!"
"Believe it, baby. Also, I'm being called on to speak at a press conference at noon. They want me to talk about some of things that happened. It's going to be on television."
"Wow, what are you going to say?"
"I...I don't know, Livi. I'm actually kind of nervous," Fitz confessed. "This could be make or break for the impending campaign. The news is going to reach a wide demographic. I have to tread very, _very_ carefully. I don't want to say too much, but i also need to have an air of transparency and walk the fine line." He hadn't intentionally called her to dump his worries on her, but he knew she would understand. He wasn't sure if his voice had betrayed his inner anxiety, but he felt a little better for it.
Olivia was silent for a moment before she spoke up. "Fitz, you know I got a lot of these papers done yesterday and over the past couple of days. Only about three more to go and my deadline isn't for four more days. I could come down there...you could bounce some ideas off of me to prepare."
"Baby, you don't have to-"
"Fitz, I'll see you in thirty minutes. Have something already written by the time I get down there!"
He smiled as he heard the line go dead.
* * *
The couple had been going over his words for close to an hour, but still something didn't feel right to Fitz and he was sure it was coming across in his delivery.
"Livi, I'm not sure about this," Fitz said in a resigned tone.
"About what?" Olivia asked, looking up at him curiously.
"About this whole thing, to be honest," he confessed. "I've tried this before, this public office thing and I'm not sure if I'm cut from the right same cloth. I've run before and I lost."
She closed the distance between them and stood beside his chair. "Fitz, you are not the same man you were backthen. You're strong and you are a leader. You have what it takes. You just have to go out there and let them see you. I can see it in your eyes, you want this, and I know you deserve this. You have to forget everything anyone has ever said to make you feel inadequate and weak, even yourself."
Fitz nodded his head, "You're right. I'm overthinking it."
Olivia took his face between his hands, "Baby, you are going to be Deputy Mayor, and then one day mayor, maybe, if that's what you want, and who knows after that? This city would be lucky to have you and the only one who can hold you back is _you_. Show them the brave, intelligent, decisive and confident man that I know and love. I'll be right there in the crowd, hanging onto your every word. You have a half hour. Think, concentrate. I'll be outside with Quinn and floating to make sure nothing is amiss. Call me if you need anything."
* * *
When Fitz took the stage at noon, his demeanor was calm, cool and collected, although inside he was still nervous. It was good nerves, though, for the most part. That was until he saw the crowd of press, media and others waiting to see what he had to say.
Fitz reached for the glass of water on the podium and took a deep sip. This was the first speech of the rest of his life. His eyes scanned the room, and in the corner, just when he needed a boost, he found her. His eyes met hers and the whole room almost went silent. He could feel her reaching out, encouraging him, supporting and loving him even from the distance and he knew he was ready, and he would always be ready, with her by his side.
30. Duty
**Nine Months Later:**
Fitz propped his arms up against his desk, resting his elbows on the surface as he peered thoughtfully at the screen in front of him. One headphone was dangling from his ear and cool jazz played audibly from the wayward bud. It was only eight a.m. and his Monday was just beginning, really, but Fitz had a good feeling about it. Compared to most of his days in the recent months, it was set up to be a relatively light one, with his main duty including attending meetings concerning the fiscal future of the city that would span the rest of the week.
Joseph Johnson, the City Treasurer, would be taking the lead in this matter, so Fitz had to do little more than listen and offer his independent criticism, which he wasn't sure counted for much as his background in finance was minimal. Nevertheless, Mayor Lewis fiercely respected and had grown to rely on his input regarding all matters crucial to the city's development and Fitz was more than happy to provide it.
It was only two months into his new position as Deputy Mayor, but already Fitz was confident that it was a great fit and he had done well to accept the opportunity in spite of his initial hesitation. The atmosphere in the building had felt much freer and lighter since Reston's resignation and the following change in administration, and Fitz was blossoming in his new position. His skills in communication and oration were still being utilized, but his role had expanded so that he was involved in overseeing all of the moving parts of the city's running.
In some of his ways, Mayor Lewis reminded Fitz of his own father, except more evolved. He reminded of what he could have become had he not been so absorbed with the amassing of his own personal wealth and power at the expense of all others. Lewis could be cold, calculating and merciless when he needed to be, and the very next moment charming, warm, and charismatic. No matter how it appeared on the outside looking in, every move John Lewis made was a power move, with his foremost concern being that of bettering the condition of the working class that had elected him. And whenever he made those moves, he made sure that Fitz was present and informed, always encouraging him to network and make connections for his own future power moves. Instead of treating Fitz like a useless pawn that he had manipulated to win his office, Lewis acted as amentor and exemplified what power, class and integrity looked like, all at once.
It was exciting.
Fitz had been running himself almost ragged as he learned to juggle his positions as an adjunct professor at Harvard, Deputy Mayor downtown, and most importantly, husband of the year at home. Nevertheless, he had managed to fall into a routine and with it being winter break for the college students, he had a lot more wiggle room to relax and thus was taking advantage.
Fitz checked his e-mail for the third time since he has reached the office that morning as he sipped his coffee. Seeing that nothing in his inbox was a pressing concern just yet, he changed gears. There was still a half an hour until the budget meeting began and he decided that since he was a bit ahead of his assignments, he could goof off a little until it was time, especially since this was his last work week until vacation.
Friday was Olivia's birthday and the two of them were going away for a much needed couple's relaxation trip and his mind was already on the plane, taking off. He had always figured that he would give her jewelry and other tangible tokens of affection for her special day, but he also wanted to give her an experience and memories. She had been nothing short of his backbone and support system as he learned to balance the demands of his positions at Harvard and City Hall, and he wanted for them to be able to enjoy a change of pace, scenery and people, if only for a few days.
Up until three weeks ago, he had felt at a loss as to where to take her or what she really would want to do, so he had asked her plainly, and more than once. Each time she would respond with, "Let's just have dinner or something, Fitz. I don't really need or want to do anything extravagant."
"But baby, why," he had whined.
"I just don't _do_ birthdays," she countered, still being vague.
"Livi, you went all out for my birthday last year, so how could that possibly be true?"
"That's different, it was _your_ birthday," she had teased with a smile before climbing on top of him and distracting him with her tongue.
"Livi," he had stopped her kiss with all the willpower he could muster. "There is _no_ way we're not doing something extravagant when, on top of that fact that you're turning twenty-one, we spent your birthday together last year and you didn't even **_tell_** me it was your freaking birthday!"
"_Because_, it wasn't a big deal, babe. And it still isn't," she whispered, burying her face in his neck and nibbling in that perfect way that never failed to lower his defenses. She ran her finger over his lips, "I already have everything I want."
He caught her finger playfully between his teeth. "Still not getting off that easy. Let's go someplace."
"Like where?"
"Well it's your birthday, Livi. What, do you want me to do _all_ of the work?" Fitz teased.
"Fitz, I don't know. What about your job? How are we going to get away?"
"Olivia, let me worry about that. Pick someplace and we're going."
"Okay," she smiled. "Do you mind if it's somewhere cold?"
"Not at all, your wish is my command."
"Well I saw an advertisement for vacations in Reykjavik on television the other day, apparently it's only six hours away... "
"_Iceland_?" Fitz asked incredulously.
"You said, pick. So, I picked," she laughed.
And he had made it happen. After running it past Mayor Lewis, he had scheduled to take the work week after her birthday off. Their first class flight was booked, their suite reserved and their list of activities and places not to miss grew with each passing day.
Fitz was excited.
Figuring that now would be a good time to double, or more like quadruple, check on their reservations, Fitz pulled the website up on his browser. The week had to be perfect for his Livi and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure that it was. Fitz was just entering his assigned reservation number on the Hotel Borg website when he heard a light knock at his office door.
"Come on in, Quinn," Fitz called out, knowing it would be no one else.
She stuck her head through the door tentatively. "Are you busy?"
"Not really, how's it going this morning?"
She slipped inside of the room and shut the door behind her. "Okay...I just received an e-mail, though, and I thought I should let you know about its message right away. It's about the meeting this morning...it's been...rescheduled."
"For when?" Fitz asked distractedly.
"Next week," Quinn replied in a small voice and immediately it sunk in why she looked so frightened and timid compared to her usual jolly self.
"Why, that's impossible, Quinn. I've already been cleared for vacation next week," he countered, nostrils flaring.
"I know, I-"
"I _just_ checked my e-mail, why wasn't I sent any information regarding this last minute change?" Fitz snarled. He didn't mean to take out his anger on her, but sometimes it was hard not to shoot the bearer of bad news.
"It was sent to all of the relevant secretaries for us to inform each one of you about it, I guess, maybe they knew it wouldn't go over too well," Quinn explained.
"Forward it to me, maybe you misread it. I need to see this for myself," he demanded.
"Fitz,-"
"**_Now_**, Quinn," he growled in a tone that brooked no arguments and she hightailed it out of the door.
Fitz had refreshed his screen twice already before the message appeared in his inbox and the subject title of the e-mail alone caused his heart to sink directly to his feet.
_Noooo_, Fitz groaned inwardly as the meaning of the e-mail finally set in. The rescheduled, week long meetings in which his presence would be mandatory would directly conflict with his trip. Thus, he would be forced to cancel his personal plans.
_Cancel, cancel, **cancel**_, the word rung in his head tauntingly. _How am I going to break to her?_ Fitz thought to himself. _This is not fair, this is **so** fucking not fair!_
In a rage, he swiped all the papers off of his desk onto the floor and his paper weight went tumbling with it.
It was _ruined_.
All of the thought and planning and he had put into the trip would be for naught and Olivia was going to be too through with him.
There was a knock at the door and before Quinn could peek her head in he yelled out, "I'm fine!"
Grabbing his suit jacket off of the back of his seat, Fitz decided that he wasn't going to go down so easily, at least not without a fight.
* * *
"Hey John, what's going on with this budget conference?" Fitz asked as the sitting mayor ended his call.
"I take it you saw the e-mail," Mayor Lewis replied with a grim look.
"Yes and I'm completely at a loss. Why the last minute change?"
"I'm sorry, Fitz, I truly am. I know you had a nice vacation planned and everything for Olivia's birthday, hell I approved it, but it's an emergency situation. Johnson's mother passed away early this morning. He's been called away to Wellesley to take care of her business and affairs for a few days. Can't create a budget plan without a treasurer."
"Oh, I see," was all Fitz could say. He felt bad for Johnson and would send his condolences, but it still didn't stop him from feeling bummed about his own misfortune.
"I know, she picked a bad time to pass on. But what could I say? We were left with little choice. Death waits for no man."
"Understood," Fitz conceded. "Of course funerals trump vacations."
"Such is the way of politics. With great power comes great responsibility. Things often change in the blink of an eye and all of us have made, or to will have to make our sacrifices. Sometimes our civic duty trumps our personal ones. If I didn't need you, you know I'd say go ahead, but I need you by my side, Fitzgerald."
"No, I completely understand, but I at least had to try. It just stings because I absolutely insisted that we do something big for her birthday and now I have to cancel, but it's necessary that I be here and be present for this. I'm probably going to be in the doghouse for a few days on account of this, though," Fitz vented.
"Fitz, give her some credit, Olivia is smart and she loves the hell out of you, even a blind man could see that. She'll be fine. Not to say that you won't necessarily in the dog house for a couple of days, but who amongst us hasn't been?" John chuckled. "It's a part of being married to both a woman and to politics."
Fitz laughed, "You have the most interesting way of putting things. Hey, since everything is moved to next week, is it alright if I take the day off, Friday?"
"For sure. Just between us, I won't be around Friday either, besides the morning. I have a golf date with some of the big fish from the State Attorney's office. If it helps, you can take off Thursday after our two o'clock meeting. I'll need you back Sunday, though. Just for a quick briefing in the afternoon. Sharon will be in touch with more details."
"Thanks, John, it helps a lot," Fitz told the man gratefully as he turned to leave.
* * *
It was a little after four o'clock when Fitz unlocked the door to the apartment and found Harrison sitting on the couch with his computer in his lap, which wasn't an unusual scene. With Huck gone, Harry had become somewhat of a fixture around their place and Fitz didn't mind. He had taken an immediate liking to the young man when they had met almost a year ago and over time, they had only grown closer.
Harrison had a kind and caring spirit and Fitz loved him like his own little brother. He could easily vacillate between being completely outrageous and hilarious and serious and wise, often times in the same conversation. With Fitz's sometimes unpredictable and late hours at the office, it was comforting to know that there was someone he could trust that could pop in on Olivia so that she wasn't always alone. Although she had come out of her shell a bit in terms of socializing, Fitz had come to accept that she was mostly a loner by nature and many times it didn't matter to her whether she had company or not, except when it came to him.
"Hey Harry, is Olivia home?"
"No, she left like an hour ago, so she should be back any minute. Said she was picking up something for you guys' trip from the mall. Supposed to be bringing me back a Cinnabon, I sure hope she hurries, though."
"Ugh," Fitz groaned as he plopped dejectedly onto the sofa opposite Harrison.
"Something wrong?" Harrison asked with genuine concern.
Fitz sighed and shook his head, "Last minute change of schedule at work. Long story short, I'm going to have to cancel our trip. I am so dead, or at the very least in the doghouse. I convinced her to make a big thing out of it when she didn't even want to, and now, I have to break my promise."
"Oh my god, no. She's going to be really disappointed."
"More like crushed." Fitz sighed again. "We were going to hike Mount Esja...spend a night on Videy Island...see the Northern Lights...I have a headache."
"Hey, look, don't get so down. It's not the end of the world. There are other things you guys can still do. What'd you guys do last year?"
"Last year, she didn't even tell me it was her birthday. We had only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, I didn't know," Fitz explained.
"Wow," Harrison chuckled. "What an Olivia thing to do. Well, you guys could always keep it local. There's always the Poconos, or maybe go south? I heard the Carolina's are beautiful. Miami is overrated, but nice and warm this time of year. Or, you could go north? Canada has some good spots, Toronto, Montreal, Niagra Falls. Or if you want to avoid customs, maybe even New York City, which is pretty close and always a good time."
A light bulb clicked, "You know, she's mentioned New York a couple of times and I've been meaning to take her. They have an exhibit at the MOMA that caught our attention, but things have just been so crazy..."
"Yeah, look into that!" Harrison encouraged him. "There are loads of things to do in New York City, they don't call it the city that never sleeps for nothing."
"Thank you, Harrison. You're the king of ideas, have I ever told you that?"
"Maybe once or twice," Harrison laughed.
"Anything else stored up there in that brilliant noggin of yours?"
"Cake. What are we doing for cake? There _must_ be cake."
"Oh, I hadn't thought of it. She loves carrot cake," Fitz offered.
"Only because it's my favorite. For her birthday, German chocolate is the only way."
"Okay, I can call around and see which of the gourmet shops can have it ready in time-"
"No! It _has_ to be home made," Harrison insisted.
"Harry, I don't know the first thing about baking. Why does it '_have_' to be homemade?"
"Because that's the way my Aunt Lisa used to do it for Liv's birthday every year. Coconut pecan frosting, walnuts and the tiny purple candles. Served warm with a daub of whipped cream. That's the way it _has_ to be, you can't mess with tradition. You, my friend, are in luck because I have perfected my baking skills and am the master chef now, so I'll teach you, for future reference."
"You're a freaking lifesaver. Anything else I should know concerning birthday traditions?"
"Fried Oreos. There has to be fried Oreos," Harrison added matter of factly.
"That sounds disgusting and like a heart attack," Fitz cried.
"You've never had them?! Not even at the carnival?"
"Nope, never really was a carnival kind of kid," Fitz explained.
He laughed, "Well you'll love it, and it is a heart attack, but once a year won't hurt you."
Fitz huffed, "I guess, but tradition is tradition, so that's what it shall be. Great, since we're on limited time, we'll probably head out for the city early afternoon, so let's do the cake cutting before that."
"Sure, we should make a 'party' of it. Streamers, confetti, the whole nine. She pretends not to care, but she'll love it. I'll invite Quinn, and Stephen, too...and his new girlfriend, too, I guess. It'll be a little awkward for Quinn, but Olivia really likes him. That girl she used to live with, Abby, is around over break. I'll see if she wants to come and bring her boyfriend Charles."
"Sounds like a plan. So, are you staying for dinner?"
"No, I actually have a date," Harrison grinned with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"Hey, look at you. Tell me about her, who is she?"
He shrugged, "No one you would know, just a chick I met downtown last weekend. She's making dinner and I'm bringing the wine. Hey, what would you suggest to go with grilled salmon?"
Fitz paused, "Go with a nice Pinot Noir. I actually have a nice, aged bottle from France on the rack beside the pantry if you really want to impress her."
"You are the man, Fitz!"
"And so are you, Harry, so are you. Behave now, you hear?"
"Pssh, now what fun would that be? Hey, I'll stop by the supermarket later on tonight on the way home and grab the stuff for the cake. When's a good time for us to bake?"
"Thursday afternoon is perfect, I'll come by your house straight after work, Lewis said I can leave early."
"Bet. Well, I'm going to peace out now. Tell Liv to hold onto my Cinnabon, cause I'm coming back for it tomorrow!"
* * *
Fitz had been googling like a mad man for over ten minutes when he heard Olivia's keys in the apartment door. _Thank God for the internet_, he thought to himself as he clicked the 'reserve' button to take care of their room for the weekend before abandoning his phone on the couch to greet her at the threshold.
"Hey babe...you're home early!" Olivia exclaimed.
"I am," he smiled, embracing her before she was fully through the door. Fitz unzipped her jacket and began unraveling her scarf from around her neck. "Did you find everything you were looking for at the mall?"
"I did," she grinned, standing on her tippy toes to kiss him. "And a few things I wasn't looking for as well. Where's Harrison and why do you have that look on your face?"
"He had to run, had a hot a date to get ready for, and what look?" he asked as he hung her jacket and scarf on the coat rack.
"The same look you had that day you spilled your coffee all over my laptop," she giggled.
He chuckled a little now, able to find a bit of humor in the horror and dread he had felt when he had knocked his mug of steaming French Vanilla coffee with cream onto her computer while she was working on a paper. He was sure was wearing on a similar look of apprehension because his guilt was weighing on him about the news he was about to deliver. Fitz picked her up off the ground and she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him softly.
"Tell me what's wrong, Fitz," she urged.
He walked them over to the couch and sat them down before speaking. "Baby, I have some really, _really_, disappointing news."
"What happened?"
He sighed, "Some things got changed around at the office, with my meetings. Johnson's mother passed, we have to delay the budget planning until next week, which poses a conflict with our birthday plans and-"
"We have to cancel," she finished his sentence.
Fitz sighed again, watching the disappointment flicker briefly in her eyes before she covered it up. "I'm _so_ sorry Livi, I feel like such an ass for this. It was all my idea, I know I-"
"Fitz, don't worry about it. It's not the end of the world," she assured him.
"Yeah, but _still_, it's your birthday and I know you were looking forward to this," Fitz insisted.
"I was, and I won't lie, I'm disappointed, but really, I'm not mad. It's not your fault...when duty calls, you have to answer. We can go some other time," she gave him a small smile.
Fitz cupped her face and kissed her pointedly, "Livi, we're still going to do have fun this weekend, okay? I'm not going in on Friday and I promise, I am **_going_** to make this up to you."
"Fitz, I _always_ have fun with you, no matter where we are or what we're doing. You're all I need, I don't care if we just lay in the bed all day."
He kissed her forehead, "You know it only makes me feel _more_ guilty that you're being so understanding about this."
"I know you would move heaven and earth in order to make this happen for me, so if you say you have to cancel, I know you were left with no other choice. How could I be mad at you for that? I'd rather not waste the time we do have together being upset about something neither of us could control. But if it'll make you feel better, I could be a bitch about it, if you really, _really_ want me to be," she joked.
Fitz chuckled, "Yes, it definitely would help if you threw something at my head and called me a bastard."
Olivia rolled her eyes dramatically, "You're one sick puppy. I can promise you one thing, I won't be as understanding if you cancel on me on our anniversary."
"I swear to you that that will not happen." He feigned a cough, "You know, I think I definitely foresee myself being too sick to work that week."
"That's what I like to hear. Hey, I know one way you can makeup it up to me."
He ran his thumb across her bottom kip before kissing it gently, "Anything."
"Come to the mall with me really quick? I just want to return a couple of things, I won't be long."
"Why don't you keep it? What'd you get, anyway?"
"Meh, just a couple of pairs of boots I don't necessarily need. I was already on the fence when I bought them, so I definitely want to take it back now, before I forget. We can stop at that Thai place you love so much, too."
"Say no more," Fitz smiled. "Your wish is my command."
* * *
Fitz held Olivia's small digits firmly between his fingers as they walked at a leisurely pace through the bustling mall. What had started off as a few simple returns had turned into multiple store trip, which wasn't unusual for Olivia and Fitz honestly didn't mind.
He enjoyed watching her try on random things and ask his opinion; it was normal and he loved being normal with her. It also gave him a window into her taste and style, which gave him good gift ideas and proved to be very helpful.
The couple was headed towards Olivia's fourth favorite store when a bracelet in the jewelry store display caught his eye. Fitz tried to slow his pace without making it too obvious what he was looking at as he tried to gain a better glimpse of the bauble. He had already been planning to pick up some type of token of affection for her birthday, and now since he had had to cancel their elaborate celebration, he would definitely need to up the ante.
"Babe?"
"Yes, sweetie?" he answered mindlessly, his eyes and mind still on the bracelet.
"How do you feel about cats?"
Fitz jerked his head away from the direction of the window and saw that Olivia had her eyes fixed on the pet store display.
"I kind of hate them," he replied honestly and she her neck snapped up towards him in a breakneck speed and glared up at him as if he had thrown cold water on her. "I mean, hate is a strong word," he backpedaled a bit. "I just think I'm more of a dog person, to be honest."
"But why? Have you ever even _owned_ a cat?" she asked accusingly.
"No, mostly because they don't do anything besides eat, sleep, poop and scratch up your furniture. My father's words, not mine."
"Well your father doesn't know what he's talking about it because that's simply _not_ true. They make excellent companions and they catch rodents and birds and stuff," Olivia countered.
"Well, it's a good thing we don't have any rodents. I think we'll be alright without one."
She pouted up at him, "Baby, can't we just go inside and take a little _look_?" It was a look that she had perfected in the last year, and if she hadn't known before how much of an effect she had on him, she definitely did now. He was wrapped about her tiny little fingers, but he didn't mind one bit since she used her power mostly for good.
"Sure, why not," he conceded, but inside he was hoping that a closer look would change her mind. In his opinion, cats were little fur balls that just made life more complicated than it had to be and he could do without one. At least a dog could serve as a protector, a cat, not so much. Nevertheless, he would humor the idea for now, especially given the circumstances.
She took his hand and led him past all the adorable puppy cages, where most of the people were congregated, towards the kitten cages near the back. Unlike the pups which were ripping and running and just generally being cute, most of the kittens were lazing about on their pillows looking like descendants of Egyptian royalty. Most of the animals ignored his presence, but the ones that did look his way offered little more than a bored expression of knowing all and caring less.
Unphased by their lack of enthusiasm, Olivia dropped to the floor, unlatched the hook and immediately began calling at the felines.
"Aren't they just so _cute_?" She asked as a calico sauntered over with attitude and nudged her hand to elicit a rub.
"They're okay...you sure you don't want a dog, baby?"
Olivia scowled at him, "This one is just the _cutest_. Aren't you? You're just so cute and lovable and you wanna come home with me and daddy, don't you?" Fitz couldn't help but smile at the mention of being a daddy.
"You're back," a voice called over his shoulder and a pet store attendant came up to stand beside him.
"You were here earlier?" He asked in disbelief.
"I may have been," she replied evasively, giving him a sheepish grin.
"Why do I have the odd feeling that I've been set up?" Fitz chuckled and sighed before turning to face the man. "Hey, I think I read somewhere that they can take the claws out or something? So he won't scratch up the couch?"
"Fitz, that's _cruel_!" Olivia shrieked.
"Well, that depends on what school of thought you're from," the clerk interjected. "Some believe it's bad because claws serve as the animal's main line of defense, but in the case of house cats, it saves a lot of them from becoming homeless due to pissing off their respective owners. There is a happy medium, though. We can cap them, so that the nails are in tact and she can maneuver, but she won't be able to sink them into your leather and such. She'll learn to rely on her leaping skills instead of sinking and dragging her claws into surfaces."
"Sooo, baby, can we take her home?" Olivia asked with the kitty cuddled in her arms, as if he could say no to that face.
"Babe, just give me a couple of days to think about it, okay? We'll see."
She smiled as if she had already won, "Okay, but _only_ a couple of days. We don't want to come back to find that someone has already adopted Saatchi! No, we wouldn't want that, right girl?"
* * *
Fitz glanced up at the clock that read six thirty a.m. It was finally Friday and he had the day off, but nonetheless, his body had not received the memo and still woke him at the same time. It was all the same anyway, because he had a mission that required he wake up first.
Fitz had made sure not to fall asleep until Olivia was good and knocked out so that he could position their bodies perfectly to exact the second leg of his plan.
Everything was in place; he had secretly packed their bags in preparation for New York two nights ago, the cake had been baked, the Oreos prepared for frying, the guests invited and the jewelry purchased. Just hours ago he had executed the first of his series of surprises and it had gone over well.
They had stayed up later than usual for a weekday night, just the two of them, to ring in her birthday exactly at midnight. Olivia had laughed when he said they should countdown the same way one would on New Year's Eve and said it was silly, but her bright smile told him that it was an idea she enjoyed.
He had kissed her right as the clock struck twelve and told her how much he loved her and was glad that she had been born, which was followed by flutes of champagne and the first gift.
"I have something for you," he whispered, gazing into her eyes as she laid on her back beneath him.
She kissed him, "You didn't have to get me anything, babe. Taking the day off is more than enough."
Fitz gave her a look that told her she knew better than that. "Well this isn't the most expensive, or the most original gift, but it's from the heart and I hope you like it." He jumped up and ran to the closet where he had hidden the parcel a few hours earlier and lugged it out.
She sat up and eyed him curiously, "What is it?"
"Come open it," he urged.
She ripped off the white paper and covered her mouth in surprise at the sight.
"Fitz," was all she could say. "It's amazing." She had completely forgotten about the portrait of her that he had begun sketching one late night that now seemed like forever ago. He had transformed it from the bare charcoal sketch into a beautiful piece of artwork filled with vibrant colors and intricate details. It was amazing and absolutely breathtaking to see herself through his eyes reflected in his art.
She embraced him, "Baby, you are so talented. I love it. If you ever get tired of politics, you have a real future in he art world.
He kissed her forehead and blushed before taking another look at the finished product. "I know it's a long time coming, I started it almost a year ago, but I think I finally got it right. It took a long time because I wanted to capture your essence _just_ right."
"You did a perfect job," she smiled.
After they had finished the champagne, Fitz broke out the special massaging oils and gave her a full body rub down until she was putty in his hands. Always aiming to please, he followed up by using his superpowers until he had sucked all the energy from her. Before he could even turn off the light she had been lightly snoring his arms, a sign of her utter exhaustion. He had held her tightly to his chest to make sure he could access the drawer beside their bed without having to disturb her sleep later that morning. The only problem now, was that they had shifted somehow in the night and now she was lodged between his chest and the arm that he needed to reach for the present in the drawer.
Fitz tried to wriggle his arm free from beneath her, but the movement caused her body to stir and he could hear her mumbling, rousing, but still mostly asleep.
"Baby?" He whispered, trying to gauge her consciousness. When she didn't respond, Fitz used his available arm to raise her upper body and roll her onto his chest to free his needed limb.
Instantly, she lifted her head to face him. Rubbing her eyes and blinking twice, she muttered unintelligibly before burying her face into his chest again. Fitz sighed in relief, she was still sleep.
He finally just decided to make a go for it, outstretching his arm and sliding out the drawer on the adjacent nightstand to extract the small black box that was hidden beneath a few strategically placed papers. When he opened the box, the bracelet glittered, even in the darkened room, and he smiled. It was stunning piece of jewelry and he hoped she would like it and the matching earrings that he had hidden in her luggage. It was eye catching, but still simple enough that she could wear it everyday, if she wanted to, and he hoped that she would.
_Here goes nothing_, Fitz thought as he slid her arm slowly down his side until it was at the right angle for him to clasp the tennis bracelet around her petite wrist.
_Mission accomplished._
He could have just given her the bracelet last night when she was conscious, like a normal person, but he was trying to be romantic. He had seen the idea in some movie a long time ago and it had looked like a nice idea in theory, but he had to admit that they had made slipping jewelry on a woman in her sleep look a lot easier than it had proved to be in execution, but it was well worth it.
Fitz gazed down at her sleeping soundly against his chest and couldn't resist the urge to kiss her. She was a godsend. In so many ways, she had made him a better man and a better human being overall. He looked at the time, **6:49**. He still had a few hours until Harrison and the gang would be sneaking in, so he decided that hewas going to get some rest until then.
* * *
"Baby," he heard an excited voice in his ear and felt soft lips against his chest. He opened his eyes to a grinning Olivia.
"This _sooo_ beautiful," she cried, her arm raised in his face to show him that she had finally seen his gift.
Fitz smiled, "You like it?" He was almost upset that he missed the look on her face when she saw it on her arm, but this was close enough.
"I love it, I love it, **_I love it_**!"
"Happy birthday, Livi."
She pressed her lips against his. "Are you hungry? I'll make us some breakfast."
Fitz moved his hand to the small of her back to keep her from getting up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, did you not get the memo that today is your birthday? You let me handle breakfast," he scolded her playfully. The clock read ten-thirty so he knew he had to keep her away from the kitchen for at least another half an hour. "Let's take a shower, first though, before we eat."
"Okay," Olivia agreed and then Fitz could swear he heard a thump come from down the hall. "Did you hear that?" Olivia asked with furrowed brows.
"What?" He asked coyly, even though he had heard it too. _Will they be freaking quiet_, Fitz thought to himself.
"Sounds like its coming from the kitchen," she told him as she rolled out of the bed, but Fitz got up in a flash and beat her to the door.
"Hey, hey, hey. What do you call yourself doing?"
"We both heard it, I'm gonna go check it out," she said, trying to sidestep him.
"I didn't hear anything, but if something was wrong, why would I send my _wife_ out there to make sure everything is okay? Back to bed with you."
She smiled slyly and crossed her arms. "Bed? I thought we were taking a shower? You're _up_ to something."
"Am _not_. Now you," he turned her around and walked her towards the bathroom, "get the shower hot me for me. _I'm_ gonna go check out the source of the imaginary sounds." He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her neck. "Whatever you do, do **_not_** leave this room."
"Okay, babe, you got it."
Fitz closed the door behind him and made his way down the hall. "Hey, don't you guys understand the meaning of a _surprise_? What's all the ruckus?" Fitz admonished the group playfully.
"Sorry," Harrison chuckled. "Quinn is a freaking butter fingers. She keeps dropping things." He pointed up at the banner that read 'Happy Birthday Livi' in bright red letters hanging on the wall. "It took us three tries to get it straight between the balloon arrangement."
He turned to the other couple hanging up streamers on the other side of the living room. "Hi Abby, Charles. How are you guys?"
"Great!" Abby chirped and Charles just nodded.
"How much more time do you guys need?"
"At least fifteen more minutes, mate," Stephen called from the kitchen. "We're frying the last of the Oreos, the cake is warming in the oven."
"And we haven't set the table yet, or unleashed the balloons," Quinn pointed out.
"Okay, got it, I'll stall. Thanks, guys. We're gonna take a shower, so that should give you all plenty of time."
"**_Ew_**, come on, I did not need that imagery," Harrison groaned.
"I guess it's my turn to be sorry," Fitz laughed. "Thank you again, _sooo_ much. Oh yeah, and Harry, how was Saatchi last night?" The kitten was in the middle of the floor stalking and periodically pouncing on a stray roll of red streamers that apparently had affronted her somehow.
"She was ripping and running like a mad man, typical cat stuff."
The roll of colored tissue paper rolled out of the kitty's reach and she gave up her game and decided to rub up against Fitz's leg. "Hey kitty, how's it going down in there?"
The cat tried to clutched at his leg and stared up at him with her large, green eyes.
_I guess she is pretty cute_, he thought and smiled. "Come on Chi-Chi," he picked up the kitten. "What better time to show you off then now?" He held the kitty securely in his arms as he walked back down the hall. Fitz had gone back to pick up the pet on his lunch break the the day after visiting with Olivia in order to start the adoption process. The same clerk he had spoken to the day prior was there and answered his million and one questions about owning the pet, include the proper way to hold it.
Fitz felt much better about the whole thing after the man assured him that the kitten could be outfitted with his nail caps, necessary shots and a grooming schedule within a couple of days. Compared to a dog, he figured a cat would be relatively low maintenance, a small inconvenience. If a kitty was what his baby wanted, then that's what she would have.
Fitz peeked his head through the door to confirm that Olivia was actually in the bathroom before entering the room. He put the kitty down in the chaise across from their bed before addressing her, "You stay right here, okay?"
The kitten yawned in response, but didn't move, so Fitz took it as a good sign and decided to make his appearance in the bathroom before Olivia's curiosity got the best of her.
When he opened the door to the steamy room, she was sitting on the counter top. She was naked, save for her red underwear, his favorite color, and looking every bit of the vixen she was. Fitz closed the door behind him and drunk in the sight before him. He wasn't sure how it was possible, but she seemed to get more beautiful and more sexy to him with each passing day.
Without a word, she beckoned him closer with a single finger and he obliged. He kissed her slowly at first, his lips patient and exploratory as his fingers traced the curve of her hips upwards until he reached her breasts, using the pad of his thumbs to tease her nipples lightly. Her hands moved from his hair down to his shoulders to try to draw him closer.
"Baby?" she asked, her mouth moving to his earlobes.
"Hmm?"
"Do you smell that?"
"Smell what?"
"It smells like cake. Chocolate cake."
He grinned, but played it cool. "Babe, you're _losing_ it." he smiled on her lips as he moved them from the countertop towards the shower.
* * *
Thirty minutes later they were getting dressed side by side. Fitz was trying to look as nonchalant as possible as he looked behind the chaise, beneath the bed and every place else he could think of in the relatively small space.
_Where the hell could the cat have gone? The door is closed, the closet was shut,-_
"Baby, what are you looking for?" Olivia asked from the in front of his dresser as he moved the nightstand to see if Saatchi had gotten trapped behind there.
"What?" he asked absentmindedly. "Me? Nothing."
"Umm, okay. Well, you wouldn't happened to have seen my brown sweater at your office, or something, have you? I can't seem to find it and I haven't seen for like two whole days. It's driving me crazy. How do you lose a _sweater_?"
Fitz grinned crookedly standing up straight, "I may have seen it." When he had packed their bags a couple of days ago, he had put the sweater in her luggage because he knew she loved to wear it and it was among her favorites. He had hoped that she wouldn't notice its absence and just wear something different instead, but it didn't seemed to have worked out that way.
He walked into the closet and wheeled out her small suitcase. "It may or may not be packed in here."
She tilted her head and eyed him curiously, "Why would you put it in there?"
"Because we have a one thirty reservation at the Heliport and I don't want to be late," he smirked, waiting for his words to register.
"Fitz, quit playing! The _Heliport_?! Why?!" she demanded excitedly.
He pulled her into his arms, "It's my wife's twenty first birthday. We have places to go, things to do, people to see."
"Will you tell me where we're going or are you going to kill me with suspense?"
"Is it okay if I whisk you away to New York for the weekend?"
"Baby! Oh my god, of course. And we're going by _helicopter_? This is nuts."
"I thought about getting a car, but with traffic the trip could be a several hours. A commercial flight poses its own set of issues and I'm not really a bus kind of guy. I know we only have a weekend, but I want to make every second count and this mode of transportation will take a fraction of the time. And it'll be fun. We can get the bird's eye view of some landmarks before we touchdown."
Before she could respond, the sound of jingling bells caught their attention and little miss Saatchi finally decided to make her debut.
"Fitz! You, you _didn't_!"
He kissed her forehead "I did. Whatever Livi wants, Livi gets."
"Baby...This is...Thank you! What are we going to do with her while we're away?"
"Harrison agreed to cat-sit for us, it's all taken care of."
"Baby, than-"
He stopped her, "If you thank me again, I'm going to scream."
She chuckled, "I love you, Fitz."
"I love you more. Now, let's get you some breakfast," he grinned before scooping her up off her feet.
* * *
"Happy Birthday!" The roar filled her ears as Fitz dropped her to her feet in the living room. There had to be at least half a hundred red and purple balloons filling the room, an oversized banner wishing her a happy twenty-first and a table already prepared with breakfast, chocolate cake, fried Oreos and champagne.
It was perfect.
Although there were only eight of them in the room, it felt full and warm and Olivia genuinely felt happy. As they sung happy birthday, she looked around the table and smiled.
Her and Abby weren't the best of friends, but over the months, they had mended a good part of it and she liked getting to know her over again. Charles, her boyfriend of the past four months, seemed to be a good influence on her so far and she seemed happy.
Harrison was singing the loudest and grinning ear to ear and she couldn't help but beam at her big, little cousin. He was always her loudest cheerleader and support system and she knew she could always depend on him for his unwavering love and friendship.
Beside him was Quinn, who had also become an integral part of her life over the past months. She could be dorky and ditzy and awkward when the mood overtook her, but she was also a good hearted person. Though a feeling still remained that there was something strange about the woman, Olivia had no doubts about where her loyalties lied and for that she was grateful. Although her and Stephen were no longer together, Olivia had remained friends with both of them.
Stephen was funny and smart and interesting and she enjoyed conversation with him. He was already on his third girlfriend since he and Quinn had broken up, but she was sure he was just sowing his oats to try to get over the failed relationship and eventually he would rise above the phase.
Finally, she looked up at Fitz, whose arms were still secure around her waist. He was her universe, where all space and matter existed, and she knew that life without him would be like a black hole, lightless. He was everything she could have ever dared to dream about having in a husband and partner and she knew that although things were calm now, there would come a time when things would get crazy again, and when it did, he would always protect her, and she him.
The sound of the intercom buzzing interrupted her thoughts and their song.
She was the closest so she answered the intercom and Hal informed her that there was a special delivery waiting for her in the lobby that only she could sign for and she told him she would be right down.
* * *
When the doors to the elevator slid open and Olivia spied the dark, husky figure looming in the corner of the lobby her heart began to speed up. He turned and she smiled, and was surprised to see him smile back.
Before he could rebuff her, she threw herself into his arms.
"Huck! When did you get back? I didn't think- Are you staying?!"
He pulled back and shrugged. "I'm here."
"For how long?" she asked. Not daring to interrogate him on where he had been for the past nine months.
"For good. Happy birthday. I got you something," he said, rifling through his bag until he found an envelope and handed it to her. "Open it later. It's nothing much, but I thought you'd like it."
"Thank you. Are you coming upstairs?"
"Should I? The gang's all there, aren't they?"
"Yeah, Fitz, Harrison, Quinn,-"
"Stephen."
"I'm sure he doesn't have a problem with you," Olivia offered, trying to reassure him.
"Wouldn't care if he did. A little awkward though. You know I hate big to-dos."
"Look, the only big to-do today is about _me_, so don't flatter yourself," Olivia ribbed.
He looped his arm through hers, "Come on. Let me get you back to your party, Miss Finally-Legal."
"That's _Mrs_. Finally-Legal to you, sir," Olivia laughed as the elevator doors opened for them.
* * *
When the door opened to their thirtieth floor suite, Olivia was was speechless for what felt like the millionth time that day.
The simplistic beauty of the room was astonishing. Everything was white from the carpet to the bedding to the curtains, all lined with gold trim. A sucker for a good view, Fitz had reserved for them the penthouse, which offered a breathtaking view of the fast paced city below and its could see the Empire State building, the city's crown jewel, not far in the distance and noted that it looked a bit different than the view she had gotten from their helicopter tour. She couldn't wait to see how it transformed by night, all dark and illuminated by bright lights and to experience that for the first time with Fitz.
_This is the best birthday ever_, was her last thought as she turned around to find Fitz looming above her. He had been talking with the concierge when she had originally decided to start exploring the space.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, his gaze piercing through her.
"How much I love you and this is the best birthday, of all time," she answered honestly
He smiled, "I'm glad I could make it happen for you. I'm still sorry that I-"
"Baby, quit apologizing. You don't have anything to be sorry for. This is perfect, _you_ are perfect."
Fitz pressed his forehead against hers, "I am not perfect, but for you, I wish I was. I _love_ you, Livi and I live to keep you happy. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, whatever my job is or whatever duties I have, _you_ are my everything. The most important duty I've been entrusted with is to love you for life, and I always will because without you, I'm nothing. I need you to believe that."
"I do, Fitz. I truly do."
* * *
**A/N: Part Two Coming please look out for that Monday or Tuesday! Hope you enjoyed the story and will read the next one too :)**
End file.
| fanfiction |
Does Maxwell's Equations on Magnetic Field holds good in year 2020? [duplicate]
**This question already has answers here**:
[How wrong are the classical Maxwell's equations (as compared to QED)?](/questions/169553/how-wrong-are-the-classical-maxwells-equations-as-compared-to-qed)
(5 answers)
Closed 3 years ago.
Does "Maxwell's equations" on "Magnetic Field" still hold good in year 2020?
Till now no parameters are changed or corrected?
Why does speed of Magnetism always relate to Speed of Electromagnetic Waves?
Yes, it’s still good.
Maxwell’s equation for the electric field is also still holding as well, as are the other two that tie together electric and magnetic fields. All four are good.
In fact, all four of the equations have been good for about 14 billion years. How do we know that? We detect microwaves that we’re confident were produced that long ago, and they obey his equations!
So you can expect Maxwell’s equations to hold in 2021 as well, and for the indefinite future.
The dude knew what he was doing.
I will leave it to others to explain how Maxwell’s Equations have been reinterpreted in terms of quantum fields to make QED and explain photons, how EM has been unified with the weak nuclear force as part of the Standard Model of particle physics, etc. Maxwell didn’t understand *everything* about EM, and probably neither do we today. But in classical form his equations stand today the same as when he formulated them about a century and a half ago, except for improvements in notation.
As for your last question, there is no “speed of magnetism”, only “speed of electromagnetic waves”. This is because there are no purely magnetic waves. All EM waves combine both electric and magnetic fields.
| stackexchange/physics |
the simple changepoint problem posits that one obtains a series of observations @xmath5 such that @xmath6 are independent and , for some value @xmath7 , @xmath8 ( the changepoint ) , @xmath9 have known density @xmath10 and @xmath11 have known density @xmath12 ( @xmath13 means that all observations have density @xmath10 and @xmath14 means that all observations have density @xmath12 ) .
the changepoint @xmath7 is unknown , and the sequence @xmath15 is being monitored for detecting a change .
a sequential detection policy is defined by a stopping time @xmath16 ( with respect to the @xmath17 s ) , so that after observing @xmath18 it is declared that apparently a change is in effect . by @xmath19
we denote the probability measure generated by the observations @xmath17 when the changepoint is @xmath7 and @xmath20 stands for the corresponding expectation .
the notation @xmath13 , @xmath21 and @xmath22 correspond to the no - change scenario .
in other words , under @xmath21 the observations @xmath23 are i.i.d . with density @xmath10 and under @xmath24
the observations @xmath23 are i.i.d . with density @xmath12 ( both with respect to a dominating measure @xmath25 ) .
common operating characteristics of a detection policy @xmath16 are @xmath26 , the average run length ( expected time ) to false alarm ( assuming there is no change ) , and @xmath27 , the maximal expected delay to detection .
subject to a lower bound @xmath28 on @xmath26 , the goal is to minimize the maximum expected delay .
note that a uniformly optimal procedure that minimizes the expected detection delay @xmath29 for all @xmath8 over stopping times with @xmath30 does not exist , and we have to resort to the minimax setting . in 1961 , for the problem of detecting a change in the drift of a brownian motion , shiryaev introduced a detection procedure that is a limit of the bayes procedure when the parameter of the exponential prior distribution tends to zero ; see shiryaev @xcite .
in particular , certain optimality properties of this procedure were established by shiryaev @xcite . in discrete time , a similar procedure was first considered by roberts @xcite as a particular case of the girschick - rubin @xcite bayesian procedure by setting the parameter of the geometric prior distribution to zero .
therefore , this procedure is usually referred to as the shiryaev
roberts procedure .
the shiryaev roberts ( sr ) procedure and its modifications are the centerpiece of this paper .
specifically , let @xmath31 denote the likelihood ratio for the observation @xmath32 , and define @xmath33 where @xmath34 is a positive threshold that controls the false alarm rate .
for a connection between @xmath34 and the expected time to false alarm @xmath35 see pollak @xcite .
when defining stopping times we always assume that @xmath36 , i.e. , @xmath37 if @xmath38 never reaches level @xmath34 .
note the recursion @xmath39 ( with the null initial condition ) .
pollak @xcite tweaked the procedure by starting it off at a random @xmath40 whose distribution is the quasi - stationary distribution @xmath41 of the sr statistic @xmath38 , defined by @xmath42 and showed that the stopping time @xmath43 where @xmath44 minimizes the maximal expected delay @xmath45 asymptotically as @xmath46 to within @xmath47 over all stopping times that satisfy @xmath48 , where @xmath34 is such that @xmath49 .
we will refer to this randomized sr procedure as the shiryaev roberts pollak ( srp ) procedure .
usually , @xmath50 can not be expressed in a closed form ( except in some rare cases ) . to compute @xmath50 and make the srp procedure implementable , moustakides et al .
@xcite proposed a numerical framework . until recently the question whether the srp procedure is exactly optimal ( in the class of procedures with @xmath48 ) was an open question .
moustakides et al .
@xcite present numerical evidence that there exist procedures that are uniformly better .
they regard starting off the original sr procedure at a fixed ( but specially designed ) @xmath51 , @xmath52 and defining the stopping time with this new deterministic initialization @xmath53 where @xmath54 they show by numerical examples that , for certain values of @xmath4 , apparently @xmath55 for all @xmath56 , where @xmath57 and @xmath34 are such that @xmath58 ( although the maximal expected delay is only slightly smaller for @xmath59 ) . we will refer to the procedure defined in and as the sr@xmath4 procedure .
in @xcite , it is conjectured that the sr@xmath4 procedure with a specially designed @xmath60 is third - order asymptotically optimal ( i.e. , to within @xmath47 ) in the class of procedures with @xmath48 as @xmath61 .
examples where the sr@xmath4 procedure is strictly minimax are provided by polunchenko and tartakovsky @xcite and tartakovsky and polunchenko @xcite .
shiryaev @xcite showed for brownian motion that if a change takes place after many successive applications ( re - runs ) of a stopping time @xmath16 ( to a sequence @xmath5 , starting anew after each false alarm ) , then the expected delay is minimized asymptotically as @xmath62 ( i.e. , in a stationary mode ) over all multi - cyclic procedures with @xmath48 for every @xmath63 by the original ( multi - cyclic ) sr procedure .
pollak and tartakovsky @xcite showed the same for discrete time .
the goal of the present paper is to answer questions regarding comparisons between the various sr - type procedures introduced above
the sr , sr@xmath4 , and srp procedures .
is the stationary expected delay of the repeated sr procedure described in the previous paragraph similar to @xmath64 ?
( yes , see theorem [ th2 ] , theorem [ th3 ] and corollary [ cor1 ] . )
what can be said about the maximal expected detection delays of these detection procedures ? ( the srp procedure and the sr@xmath4 procedure with a specially designed @xmath4 are third - order asymptotically minimax , i.e. , to within a negligible term @xmath65 .
see theorem [ th4 ] .
this answer justifies the conjecture of moustakides et al .
what can be said about @xmath64 , @xmath66 , and @xmath67 when all have the same average run length to false alarm @xmath28 ?
( the average delay to detection at infinity is the smallest for the original sr procedure @xmath68 , but the difference between them is @xmath47 as @xmath61 . see theorems [ th5 ] and [ th4 ] . )
we conclude with a numerical example that illustrates these phenomena .
recall that @xmath7 denotes the unknown changepoint which is identified with the last time instant under the nominal regime .
thus , conditional on @xmath69 , the joint density of the vector @xmath70 can be written as @xmath71 for any @xmath72 and @xmath73 provided that @xmath74 whenever @xmath75 .
given observations @xmath76 , introduce the hypotheses @xmath77 that the change occurs somewhere within this stretch of observations and @xmath78 that there is no change .
clearly , the latter hypothesis is equivalent to the hypothesis @xmath79 , @xmath80 . according to
, the likelihood ratio of these hypotheses is @xmath81 where @xmath31 .
therefore , the sr statistic can be interpreted as the average likelihood ratio averaged over a uniform improper prior distribution of the changepoint . by @xmath16
we denote a generic stopping time ( or a detection procedure ) and by @xmath82 the class of detection procedures ( stopping times ) for which the average run length ( arl ) to false alarm does not fall below a given number @xmath83 .
the following two objects will be of the main interest in this paper : _ supremum average delay to detection _ @xmath84 and the limiting value of the average detection delay which we will refer to as _ average delay to detection at infinity _
@xmath85 as we mentioned in the introduction , we are interested in a minimax setting of minimizing the maximal expected delay @xmath86 over stopping times with the lower bound on the arl to false alarm @xmath30 , i.e. , in finding a procedure that would minimize @xmath86 in the class @xmath87 : @xmath88 . however ,
in general we are unable to find an exact solution to this problem for every @xmath63 and , for this reason , we focus on asymptotic solutions for a large arl to false alarm @xmath28 ; see polunchenko and tartakovsky @xcite and tartakovsky and polunchenko @xcite for examples where an exact minimax solution is available .
we call the procedure @xmath89 * _ first - order asymptotically optimal _ * if @xmath90 i.e. , @xmath91 where @xmath92 as @xmath61 .
we call the procedure @xmath93 * _ second - order asymptotically optimal _ * if @xmath94 where @xmath95 is bounded as @xmath96 .
we call the procedure @xmath93 * _ third - order asymptotically optimal _ * if @xmath97 where @xmath47 tends to zero as @xmath96 .
it follows from pollak @xcite that the srp procedure is third - order asymptotically optimal whenever @xmath98 . in section [ ss : add ] we prove the third - order asymptotic optimality property under the stronger second moment condition @xmath99 using different techniques .
the second moment condition allows us to obtain higher - order asymptotic approximations for @xmath100 and @xmath101 ( up to a vanishing term ) . since the srp procedure is an equalizer , i.e. , @xmath102 does not depend on @xmath7 , it is sufficient to evaluate the average run length to detection @xmath103 assuming that the change is in effect from the very beginning . more importantly , using the ideas of moustakides et al .
@xcite , we are able to design the initialization point @xmath4 in the sr@xmath4 procedure , which may or may not depend on the false alarm constraint @xmath28 , so that this procedure is also third - order asymptotically optimal . in this respect , the average delay to detection at infinity @xmath104 plays a critical role . to understand why ,
let us look at figure [ fig : fig1 ] which shows the average detection delay @xmath105 versus @xmath7 for several initialization values @xmath4 .
this figure was obtained using integral equations and numerical techniques of moustakides et al .
@xcite . for @xmath106 ,
this is the classical sr procedure whose average detection delay is monotonically decreasing to its minimum that is attained at infinity ( a steady state value ) .
it is seen that there exists a value @xmath107 that generally may depend on the threshold @xmath34 for which the worst point @xmath7 is at infinity , i.e. , @xmath108 .
this is a very important observation , since it allows us to build a proof of asymptotic optimality based on an estimate of @xmath109 .
particular choices of the head start " @xmath110 will be discussed in the following sections . for various initialization strategies.,scaledwidth=70.0% ]
the monotonicity of the curve for the average detection delay of the sr procedure allows us also to conclude ( intuitively only since this is only a numerical observation and there is no theoretical justification of monotonicity ) that the asymptotic lower bound for @xmath101 can be evaluated based on the value of @xmath111 .
asymptotically @xmath103 , @xmath112 , and @xmath111 are the same since the mean of the quasi - stationary distribution is of order @xmath113 and the values of the head start @xmath114 that lead to the almost optimal performance are either fixed ( i.e. , @xmath115 ) or go to infinity in such a way that @xmath116 as @xmath117 , as we will see from the following study .
in this section , we discuss the asymptotic behavior of the sr@xmath4 and srp detection procedures for large values of the threshold @xmath34 and the arl to false alarm @xmath28 .
let @xmath118 denote the log - likelihood ratio for the @xmath119-th observation and let @xmath120 .
introduce a one - sided stopping time @xmath121 let @xmath122 be an overshoot ( excess over the level @xmath123 at stopping ) , and let @xmath124 , \quad \varkappa = \lim_{a\to\infty } { { \mathsf{e}}}_0 \kappa_a . \ ] ] the constants @xmath125 and @xmath126 depend on the model and can be computed numerically . in general ,
@xmath127 and @xmath128 .
[ th1]assume that @xmath107 where @xmath110 is either fixed or , more generally , @xmath129 in such a way that @xmath130 as @xmath117 . then for the sr@xmath4 procedure , uniformly in @xmath131 , @xmath132 where the constant @xmath125 is defined in . for the srp procedure @xmath133 the proof of this theorem is given in the appendix .
let @xmath134 denote a random variable that asymptotically as @xmath135 has the same @xmath21-distribution as @xmath136 , i.e. , @xmath137 where @xmath138 is called the stationary distribution of @xmath136 .
recall also that we denote by @xmath139 the quasi - stationary distribution of @xmath136 .
we always assume that both quasi - stationary @xmath50 and stationary @xmath138 distributions exist , which is always true when @xmath140 is continuous .
note that the process @xmath141 is a zero mean @xmath21-martingale and , hence , applying the optional sampling theorem yields @xmath142 , which can be used to approximate @xmath143 . using the above fact along with theorem [ th1 ] ,
for practical purposes we suggest the following approximations @xmath144 and @xmath145 where @xmath146 is the mean of the quasi - stationary distribution .
note that the mean of the quasi - stationary distribution is of order @xmath113 as @xmath117 . indeed , by kesten (
* theorem 5 ) , @xmath147 which along with the fact that @xmath148 ( cf .
pollak and siegmund @xcite ) yields @xmath149\,dx { \leqslant}\int_0^a [ 1-{{\mathsf{q}}}_{\mathrm{st}}(x)]\,dx = o(\log a).\ ] ] since @xmath150 as @xmath117 , it follows that @xmath151 , where @xmath152 as @xmath117 , so that @xmath153 we continue with obtaining asymptotic approximations ( as @xmath117 ) for the average delay to detection @xmath154 , including the case of the large changepoint @xmath7 , i.e. , for @xmath104 , as well as with deriving an asymptotic lower bound for @xmath101 . this will allow us to ascertain whether the sr@xmath4 procedure with a certain initialization @xmath4 ( which is either fixed or may depend on @xmath28 ) is third - order asymptotically optimal as @xmath96
recall that @xmath155 is the log - likelihood ratio for the observation @xmath32 , @xmath156 and @xmath126 is the limiting average overshoot in the one - sided test @xmath157 defined in .
let @xmath158 and let @xmath159 .
let @xmath160 denote the kullback
leibler information number .
[ lem1 ] let @xmath161 and assume that @xmath162 is non - arithmetic .
let @xmath163 be such that @xmath164 and @xmath165 as @xmath166 for some @xmath167 .
let @xmath168 and let @xmath169 be defined as in . then , as @xmath117 , @xmath170 } \bigg\ } + o(1 ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath65 as @xmath171 uniformly on @xmath172 .
the proof of lemma [ lem1 ] is given in the appendix .
[ rem3.1 ] let @xmath173 .
note that @xmath174 is independent of @xmath175 and has the same @xmath19-distribution of all @xmath176 , i.e. , it is distributed as @xmath177 under @xmath24 .
recall that by @xmath134 we denote a random variable that has the @xmath21-limiting ( stationary ) distribution of @xmath38 as @xmath178 , i.e. , @xmath179 . let @xmath180 = \int_0^\infty \int_0^\infty \log(1+x+y)\,d{{\mathsf{q}}}_{\mathrm{st}}(x ) \,d\widetilde{{{\mathsf{q}}}}(y),\ ] ] and @xmath181 = \int_0^\infty \log(1+r+y)\,d\widetilde{{{\mathsf{q}}}}(y),\ ] ] where @xmath182 .
the following theorem , whose proof is based on lemma [ lem1 ] and can be found in the appendix , provides asymptotic approximations ( for large @xmath34 ) for the average delay to detection of the sr@xmath4 procedure ( for large @xmath7 and @xmath14 ) , and for the supremum average delay to detection @xmath183 of the srp procedure ( within vanishing terms @xmath47 ) .
[ th2 ] if @xmath161 and @xmath162 is non - arithmetic , then for any @xmath168 @xmath184 } + o(1 ) \quad \text{as $ a\to \infty$},\ ] ] and @xmath185 } + o(1 ) \quad \text{as $ a\to \infty$},\ ] ] where @xmath65 as @xmath117 .
define @xmath186 the following lemma provides the lower bound for the supremum average delay to detection in the class @xmath87 .
this bound will be used to obtain an asymptotic lower bound in theorem [ th3 ] and for the proof of third - order asymptotic optimality of detection procedures in theorem [ th4 ] .
[ lem2 ] let @xmath68 be the stopping time of the sr procedure that starts from zero and let the threshold @xmath187 be chosen so that @xmath188 .
the following lower bound holds : @xmath189 obviously , for any stopping time @xmath16 @xmath190 { { \mathsf{p}}}_\infty(t > k)}{{{\mathsf{e}}}_\infty t}\\ & { \geqslant}\frac{\sum_{k=0}^\infty { { \mathsf{e}}}_k(t - k|t > k ) { { \mathsf{p}}}_\infty(t >
k)}{{{\mathsf{e}}}_\infty t } = { { \mathcal{j}}}(t ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] as follows from pollak and tartakovsky @xcite , the right hand side is minimized by the sr stopping time @xmath191 , so that @xmath192 and the proof is complete .
the following theorem provides the asymptotic approximation for the lower bound @xmath193 . its proof is given in the appendix .
[ th3 ] let @xmath194 be defined as in and @xmath195 as in .
if @xmath161 and @xmath162 is non - arithmetic , then @xmath196 where @xmath65 as @xmath117 .
theorem [ th3 ] also allows for the following interpretation .
consider the following multi - cyclic detection procedure .
let a stopping time @xmath16 be applied repeatedly after each alarm , so that @xmath197 are independent copies of @xmath16 and @xmath198 is the time interval between the @xmath199th and @xmath200th alarms .
clearly , the number @xmath201 of false alarms before the changepoint @xmath7 is @xmath202 and the real change occurring at the point @xmath203 is detected at the time @xmath204 .
for any fixed @xmath56 , the average delay to detection of the multi - cyclic ( repeated ) detection procedure is @xmath205 . assuming that the change occurs at a far time horizon ( i.e. , @xmath206 ) , introduce the _ stationary average detection delay _ @xmath207 by applying renewal theory , it can be shown that @xmath208 . to this end , see pollak and tartakovsky @xcite .
furthermore , the sr procedure is exactly optimal in the sense of minimizing the stadd .
therefore , the following corollary is a direct consequence of theorem [ th2 ] and theorem [ th3 ] .
[ cor1]if @xmath162 is non - arithmetic and @xmath161 , then , as @xmath117 , @xmath209 and @xmath210 the following theorem establishes asymptotic optimality of the srp and sr@xmath4 detection procedures under moderate conditions . its proof is immediate from the above results
. [ th4 ] let @xmath211 and let @xmath162 be non - arithmetic .
\(i ) then @xmath212 } + o(1 ) \quad \text{as $ \gamma\to \infty$}.\ ] ]
\(ii ) if in the srp procedure @xmath213 , then @xmath214 and @xmath215 } + o(1 ) \quad \text{as $ \gamma\to \infty$}.\ ] ] therefore , the srp procedure is asymptotically third - order optimal in the class @xmath87 : @xmath216
\(iii ) if in the sr@xmath4 procedure @xmath217 , and the initialization point @xmath4 is either fixed or tends to infinity with the rate @xmath218 and is selected so that @xmath219 , then @xmath220 and @xmath221 } + o(1 ) \quad \text{as $ \gamma\to \infty$}.\ ] ] therefore , the sr@xmath4 procedure is asymptotically third - order optimal : @xmath222 the asymptotic lower bound follows from lemma [ lem2 ] and theorem [ th3 ] .
the asymptotic approximations and ( and statements of ( ii ) and ( iii ) in whole ) follow from theorems [ th1 ] and [ th2 ] .
[ rem3.2]third - order asymptotic optimality of the srp procedure follows from pollak @xcite ( under the sole first moment condition ) , so that this result is not new .
however , higher - order asymptotic approximation for the sadd is new .
[ rem3.3 ] feasibility of selecting @xmath4 so that @xmath223 follows from numerical experiments performed by moustakides et al .
@xcite as well as from the example in section [ s : example ] .
see figure [ fig : fig1 ] in section [ s : prelim ] and figures [ fig : oc_vs_k ] and [ fig : srp_sr_r_addk_vs_k_arl_100 ] in section [ s : example ] .
[ rem3.4 ] since for the sr procedure @xmath224 , it follows from theorem [ th2 ] ( setting @xmath106 in ) that @xmath225 where @xmath226 $ ] . since @xmath227 implies @xmath228 , it follows that with this choice of threshold @xmath229 + o(1 ) \quad \text{as $ \gamma \to \infty$}.\ ] ] comparing with the lower bound shows that @xmath230 thus , the sr procedure is only second - order asymptotically optimal and the difference is approximately equal to @xmath231 .
this difference can be quite large when detecting small changes ( i.e. , when @xmath232 is small ) .
it is worth noting that theorem [ th2 ] suggests that if the initializing point @xmath107 is selected from the equation @xmath233 , then for the large arl to false alarm @xmath28 the values of the average delays to detection at zero and infinity are approximately equal , @xmath234 \approx { { \mathsf{add}}}_\infty(t_a^{r^*})$ ] ( to within small terms @xmath47 ) .
this choice of the head - start is intuitively appealing since we intend to make the sr@xmath235 procedure look like an equalizer as much as possible .
obviously , the value of @xmath110 does not depend on @xmath28 , i.e. , it is a fixed number that depends on the model .
this observation will be further elaborated in section [ s : example ] .
note also that the fact that the limiting value @xmath236 equating @xmath234 $ ] and @xmath237 to within @xmath47 is a fixed number has been first noticed by moustakides and tartakovsky @xcite for the problem of detecting a change in the drift of a brownian motion . also , although starting at @xmath110 causes for a faster initial response than starting at @xmath106 , the resemblance to lucas and crosier s fir scheme is secondary : their method is designed to give a really fast initial response , whereas our goal is to attain asymptotic third - order optimality .
it is interesting to ask how the average detection delays at infinity @xmath111 , @xmath104 , and @xmath238 are related when all three procedures have the same average run length to false alarm @xmath28 .
it turns out that the @xmath239 is the smallest for the original sr procedure @xmath68 .
theorem [ th5 ] below proves this statement .
note also that by theorems [ th2 ] and [ th4 ] the difference between add s of all three procedures is @xmath47 as @xmath96 .
this result can be proven in two steps : 1 ) to show that the arl to false alarm @xmath240 of the srp procedure is increasing in @xmath34 , the threshold ( the fact that the arl to false alarm of the sr@xmath4 procedure is increasing in @xmath34 for a fixed @xmath4 is obvious ) ; and 2 ) to show that the average delay @xmath238 of the srp procedure is increasing in @xmath34 ( obviously , the add s at infinity are the same for all three procedures when the same threshold is being used ) .
since the sr procedure requires the lowest threshold to attain the same false alarm rate , this implies that the sr procedure has the lowest @xmath239 .
we believe that @xmath240 and @xmath238 are both increasing in @xmath34 in the general case . however , we are able to prove this fact only when the cumulative distribution function of @xmath241 is concave , both pre - change and post - change , something that guarantees monotonicity properties of the markov detection statistics .
this is restrictive , but it does hold , for example , in detection of a shift of a normal mean and in detection of a change of the parameter of an exponential distribution .
it also holds for the example considered in the next section . for @xmath242 , regard the sequence defined by the recursion @xmath243 to prove the required result we need the following lemma whose proof can be found in the appendix .
[ lem3 ] let @xmath244 be a cumulative distribution function of @xmath241 that is log - concave ( i.e. , @xmath245 is a concave function ) . then the process @xmath246 that has transition probabilities @xmath247 is a stochastically monotone markov process , i.e. , @xmath248 is non - decreasing and right - continuous in @xmath249 for all @xmath250 .
[ rem3.5 ] note that the normal cumulative distribution function @xmath251 is log - concave , so the log - likelihood ratio of two normals whose means differ has a log - concave cdf . the same applies to two differing exponential distributions as well as to two differing beta - distributions considered in section [ s : example ] .
we are now prepared to state the desired result .
the details of the proof are given in the appendix .
[ th5 ] suppose that the cdf of @xmath241 is log - concave both pre - change and post - change .
let @xmath252 be fixed , and let @xmath253 be such that the arl to false alarm of the sr@xmath4 procedure @xmath254 is @xmath28 .
then @xmath255 is an increasing function of @xmath4 and @xmath256 where @xmath257 is such that @xmath258 . in order to implement the asymptotic approximations we have to be able to compute the constants @xmath259 and
@xmath195 defined by @xmath260 where @xmath261 is the stationary distribution of the sr statistic @xmath262 under @xmath21 and @xmath263 is the limiting distribution of @xmath264 under @xmath24 .
assume that the distribution of @xmath140 is continuous .
then for computing the constants we need to evaluate the two densities @xmath265 and @xmath266 .
let @xmath134 and @xmath177 be random variables that are the limit ( in distribution , as @xmath267 ) of @xmath38 and @xmath268 , respectively , which have densities @xmath269 and @xmath270 . to find the desired densities , observe that , by recursion , @xmath134 and @xmath271 have the same density @xmath269 under @xmath21 .
similarly @xmath177 and @xmath272 have the same density @xmath270 under @xmath24 . to see this note that , by the i.i.d .
property of the data , @xmath268 has the same @xmath24-distribution as the random variable @xmath273 , which follows the recursion @xmath274 .
therefore , we have the following integral equations for these densities @xmath275dy;~~ \tilde{q}(x)=-\int_0^\infty \tilde{q}(y)\left[\dfrac{\partial}{\partial x}f_0\left(\frac{1+y}{x}\right)\right]dy,\ ] ] where @xmath276 and @xmath277 are the corresponding distribution functions of the likelihood ratio @xmath140 .
thus , @xmath269 and @xmath270 are the eigenfunctions corresponding to the unit eigenvalues of the linear operators defined , respectively , with the kernels @xmath278 the constants @xmath259 and @xmath195 are then obtained , usually by numerical integration .
the next section offers a comparative performance analysis for an example where @xmath259 and @xmath195 are computable analytically .
to verify the accuracy of the asymptotic approximations , we carried out an extensive performance evaluation of the procedures discussed in the earlier sections for the following example .
suppose @xmath279 is a series of independent observations such that @xmath280 are @xmath281 each , and @xmath282 are @xmath283 each
. put another way , the series undergoes a sudden and abrupt shift in the expected value from @xmath284 pre - change to @xmath285 post - change , while retaining the variance . to be specific , our goal is to verify the conditions and the accuracy of the asymptotic approximations given in theorem [ th2 ] , theorem [ th4 ] , and remark [ rem3.4 ] , i.e. , @xmath286 } , \\ { { \mathsf{sadd}}}(t_a ) & \approx \frac{1}{i}{\left[\log a+\varkappa - c_0\right ] } , \end{aligned}\ ] ] and the approximations for the arl to false alarm given in , i.e. , @xmath287 where @xmath288 is the mean of the quasi - stationary distribution . to undertake this task ,
it is necessary to be able to calculate the constants @xmath259 , @xmath195 , @xmath125 , and @xmath126 and also to compute the initialization point @xmath4 and the mean @xmath288 of the quasi - stationary distribution @xmath41 .
while usually the constants @xmath259 and @xmath195 can be evaluated only numerically or by monte carlo , it turns out that for the @xmath289-model considered these constants are computable analytically . the pre- and post - change probability densities for this scenario are @xmath290 respectively , and the likelihood ratio for the @xmath291th observation is @xmath292 .
the quasi - stationary distribution satisfies the integral equation @xmath293 where @xmath294 and @xmath295 since for any @xmath296 @xmath297 which is continuously differentiable with respect to @xmath249 , the equation for the quasi - stationary distribution @xmath50 for this model is @xmath298 note that the quasi - stationary distribution converges to the stationary distribution @xmath150 as @xmath117 ( cf .
pollak and siegmund @xcite ) .
equation can not be solved analytically for an arbitrary _ finite _ @xmath34 , but its limiting value when @xmath117 ( i.e. , the stationary distribution of the statistic @xmath136 ) does permit a closed - form solution . by , the stationary distribution @xmath138 satisfies the following equation @xmath299 and the solution is @xmath300{{\one_{\{x{\geqslant}0\}}}}$ ] . to derive the equation for @xmath301 ,
observe first that for @xmath296 @xmath302 which is identical to @xmath303 . as a result
, the distribution @xmath301 satisfies precisely the same equation as @xmath138 and , therefore , @xmath304 using and , one is able to calculate the constants @xmath259 and @xmath195 _ exactly _ as @xmath305 in particular , @xmath306 .
note that the kullback - leibler information number @xmath307 , so that @xmath308 unfortunately , neither the limiting average overshoot @xmath126 nor the limiting average `` exponential '' overshoot @xmath125 are computable exactly .
monte carlo simulations with @xmath309 trials have been used to estimate the two as @xmath310 and @xmath311 with the standard error less than @xmath312 .
specifically , these estimates were obtained from the formulas @xmath313 , \quad \zeta=\frac{1}{i}\exp\left\{-2\sum_{k=1}^\infty\frac{1}{k}\biggl[{{\mathsf{p}}}_0(s_k{\leqslant}0)+{{\mathsf{p}}}_\infty(s_k>0)\biggr]\right\},\ ] ] where @xmath314 , @xmath315 , and @xmath316 $ ] ( see , e.g. , woodroofe @xcite ) .
the first fraction in the first formula is computable analytically .
the only issue is the infinite sum . to evaluate this sum it was first truncated at @xmath317 .
an extreme - value - theoretic argument shows that the weight of the dropped tail is of order of the machine precision .
this makes it safe to assume that the sum of the first @xmath317 terms is effectively equal to the original infinite sum .
the second source of errors is the expectations under the sum .
these expectations are not computable analytically , and therefore monte carlo simulations were used : we generated @xmath309 trajectories of @xmath318 , and performed averaging across the trajectories to find @xmath319 $ ] for each @xmath320 .
the sum in the second formula was evaluated in a similar manner . despite the fact that in the example considered the distributions @xmath138 and @xmath301 are obtainable exactly , neither the quasi - stationary distribution , required for the srp procedure , nor the conditional average delay to detection @xmath29 for @xmath8 and the arl to false alarm seem feasible to get analytically . to overcome this difficulty ,
these quantities were computed numerically , using the approach undertaken by moustakides et al .
@xcite with the number of breakpoints set at @xmath321 , high enough to ensure a relative error in the order of a fraction of a percent .
specifically , let @xmath322 . for @xmath323 , @xmath324 , and @xmath56
, define @xmath325 , @xmath326 $ ] , @xmath327 , and @xmath328 .
using the markov property of the statistic @xmath136 , the following integral equations and recursions for operating characteristics are obtained by moustakides et al .
@xcite : @xmath329dx , \quad j=0,\infty , \\
\delta_\nu(r ) & = \int_0^a\delta_{\nu-1}(x)\left[\dfrac{\partial}{\partial x } f_\infty\left(\dfrac{x}{1+r}\right)\right]dx,\quad \nu{\geqslant}1 , \\
p_\nu(r ) & = \int_0^ap_{\nu-1}(x)\,\frac{\partial}{\partial x}f_\infty\left(\frac{x}{1+r}\right)dx , \quad \nu{\geqslant}1 \end{aligned}\ ] ] with the initial conditions @xmath330 and @xmath331 .
these integral equations yield the arl to false alarm @xmath143 and the sequence of average detection delays @xmath332 , @xmath333 as functions of the starting point @xmath324 .
the distribution function @xmath334 is defined in and @xmath335 ^ 2 $ ] , @xmath336 . in order to implement the srp procedure @xmath337 as well as to evaluate its performance ,
we need to compute the quasi - stationary distribution @xmath50 , which satisfies the integral equation .
the arl to false alarm @xmath240 and the average detection delay @xmath103 of the srp procedure are then computed as @xmath338\,d{{\mathsf{q}}}_a(r)=\int_0^a \phi_j(r)\,d{{\mathsf{q}}}_a(r),\quad j=\infty,0.\ ] ] we recall that the srp procedure is the equalizer , so that @xmath339 for all @xmath340 . finally , by moustakides et al .
@xcite , the lower bound @xmath193 given in lemma [ lem2 ] is computed as @xmath341 , where @xmath342 is the solution of the integral equation @xmath343 } \,dx.\ ] ] the above integral equations allow us to compute numerically operating characteristics of both sr@xmath4 and srp procedures as well as the mean of the quasi - stationary distribution @xmath288 .
of the quasi - stationary distribution @xmath50 as a function of the detection threshold @xmath34 .
the @xmath344 function is plotted to demonstrate that @xmath345.,scaledwidth=90.0% ] at this point the only unresolved question is that of how to choose @xmath4 . to this end , several options are proposed by moustakides et al .
@xcite ; one of the options is @xmath346 .
recall that theorem [ th4 ] requires ( a ) @xmath347 as @xmath166 and ( b ) @xmath348 . if @xmath346 , then condition ( a ) is satisfied , since by and , @xmath349 and @xmath345 .
this is also illustrated in figure [ fig : mu_a_a ] , which shows that the inequality @xmath350 and the equality @xmath345 are indeed satisfied .
the condition ( b ) is also satisfied even for small values of the arl to false alarm , as can be seen from figure [ fig : oc_vs_k ] which shows how @xmath29 evolves as @xmath7 runs from 0 to 10 for the srp procedure and for the sr@xmath4 procedure with @xmath346 .
the arl to false alarm is about 100 for both procedures .
observe that the sr@xmath4 procedure attains supremum at infinity , i.e. , as @xmath206 .
also , the stationary regime kicks in as early as at @xmath351 , and this is for @xmath352\approx 100 $ ] .
in addition , figure [ fig : oc_vs_k ] illustrates theorem [ th5 ]
@xmath353 is indeed the smallest for the sr procedure , while the difference is small .
we iterate that it is easily shown that the log - concavity conditions of theorem [ th5 ] hold in the example considered , i.e. , @xmath354 $ ] and @xmath355 $ ] are concave functions .
table [ tab : oc_vs_arl ] provides values of the supremum average delay to detection @xmath356 and the lower bound @xmath193 versus the arl to false alarm @xmath352 $ ] .
also presented in parentheses are the corresponding theoretical predictions made based on the asymptotic approximations and .
its is seen that the approximations for the arl to false alarm are fairly accurate even for small values of the arl such as 50 , while the approximations for the @xmath356 and the lower bound become accurate for the moderate false alarm rate ( @xmath357 and higher ) . of the sr ,
srp and sr@xmath4 ( @xmath346 ) procedures .
the arl to false alarm @xmath358\approx 100$].,scaledwidth=95.0% ] [ cols="<,^,^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] [ tab : oc_vs_arl ] another possible way of starting the sr@xmath235 procedure is from the value of @xmath4 for which the average detection delay at the point @xmath14 is equal ( at least approximately ) to the @xmath239 ( i.e. , in the steady - state mode ) , as has been proposed in section [ ss : add ] . in the asymptotic
setting this is equivalent to finding a point @xmath107 for which @xmath359 is equal to @xmath259 . clearly , @xmath110 is a _ fixed _ number that does not depend on @xmath34 since @xmath359 does not depend on @xmath4 and @xmath34 .
using , we obtain the transcendental equation @xmath360 and the solution is @xmath361 . for the srp procedure and for the sr@xmath4 procedure with @xmath362 .
the arl to false alarm @xmath358\approx 100$].,scaledwidth=95.0% ] figure [ fig : srp_sr_r_addk_vs_k_arl_100 ] shows the average delay to detection @xmath363 $ ] versus the changepoint @xmath7 for the sr@xmath235 procedure with @xmath364 and for the srp procedure .
observe that for the sr@xmath235 procedure the average delay at @xmath14 is equal to that at infinity , as was planned .
more importantly , the point @xmath14 is the worst ( supremum ) point ( along with large @xmath7 ) .
also , it can be seen that the sr@xmath235 procedure is _ uniformly _
( i.e. , for all @xmath8 ) better than the srp procedure , although in this example the difference is practically negligible .
we also note that this initialization is better than starting off at the mean of the quasi - stationary distribution , while the difference in performance is very small
the @xmath356 is equal to @xmath365 for @xmath346 and @xmath366 for @xmath107 .
this allows us to conclude that the sr@xmath235 is robust with respect to the initialization point in a certain range .
we considered three different versions of the shiryaev roberts procedure , with the difference being the starting point
the conventional sr procedure , where @xmath0 , pollak s modification of this procedure , where @xmath3 is sampled from the quasi - stationary distribution of the sr statistic , and a generalization where @xmath367 is a specially designed deterministic number , proposed by moustakides et al .
@xcite . for each of the procedures we derived asymptotic formulas for operating characteristics when the threshold @xmath34 is high and showed that asymptotically when the arl to false alarm is large the sr@xmath4 and srp procedures are both asymptotically third - order minimax .
we emphasize that third - order asymptotic optimality of the sr@xmath4 procedure has been established under the conjecture that the worst changepoint is at infinity , which is justified numerically for several examples , including the one considered in section [ s : example ] .
unfortunately , we have not been able to prove this conjecture analytically .
in addition , we performed a comparative efficiency analysis of the detection procedures to verify the accuracy of the asymptotic approximations and demonstrated the proximity of the latter to the real values for a specific example .
the results of numerical analysis allow us to conclude that ( in the minimax sense ) performance of the sr@xmath4 procedure that starts with the mean of the quasi - stationary distribution as well as with a point that equates the average detection delay at zero and infinity is almost indistinguishable from that of the srp procedure .
we are grateful to a referee for useful suggestions that have improved the presentation in the article .
[ lemsmax ] let @xmath368 be i.i.d . with @xmath369 and @xmath370 .
let @xmath371 .
then for all @xmath372 @xmath373 { } 0.\ ] ] applying doob s maximal submartingale inequality to the submartingale @xmath374 , we obtain @xmath375 } \\ & = \frac{1}{\varepsilon^2 n } { { \mathsf{e}}}{\left[{\left(\frac{s_n^2}{n}\right ) } { { \one_{\{\max\limits_{n { \leqslant}n } s_{n } { \geqslant}\varepsilon n\}}}}\right ] } . \end{aligned}\ ] ] first , it follows that @xmath376 { } 0 .\ ] ] now , we show that @xmath377 } \xrightarrow[n\to\infty ] { } 0,\ ] ] which implies that @xmath378 as @xmath379 , i.e. , the desired result . finally , for any @xmath383 we have @xmath384}+{}\\ & \qquad\qquad\qquad{}+{{\mathsf{e}}}{\left[{\left(\frac{s_n^2}{n}-l\wedge\frac{s_n^2}{n}\right)}{{\one_{\{\max\limits_{n{\leqslant}n } s_n > \varepsilon n\}}}}\right ] } \\ & { \leqslant}l{{\mathsf{p}}}{\left(\max\limits_{n{\leqslant}n } s_n > \varepsilon n \right)}+ { { \mathsf{e}}}{\left(\frac{s_n^2}{n}-l\wedge\frac{s_n^2}{n}\right ) } \\ & { \leqslant}\frac{l\sigma^2}{\varepsilon^2 n}+\sigma^2-{{\mathsf{e}}}{\left(l\wedge\frac{s_n^2}{n}\right ) } \\ & \xrightarrow[n\to\infty]{}\sigma^2-{{\mathsf{e}}}{\left(l\wedge\xi^2\sigma^2\right ) } \xrightarrow[l\to\infty]{}\sigma^2(1 - 1)=0 . \end{split}\end{aligned}\ ] ] observe that @xmath390 and @xmath391 hence , @xmath392 on @xmath393 , which implies that @xmath394 therefore , we have the following chain of equalities and inequalities : @xmath395 where the last inequality stems from @xmath396 ( so that @xmath397 ) and from @xmath398 } | t_{a - m } > t_a^r { \geqslant}m\ } \\ & { \leqslant}{{\mathsf{e}}}_\infty r_{t_a - m } = { { \mathsf{e}}}_\infty t_{a - m}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] note that @xmath399 is a nonnegative @xmath21-martingale with mean 1 , so that @xmath400 and we obtain @xmath401 let @xmath402 and @xmath403 so that @xmath404 and @xmath405 ( which can always be arranged )
. then , uniformly in @xmath406 , @xmath407 which along with the reverse inequality proves asymptotic equality whenever @xmath408 as @xmath117 , and if @xmath110 does not depend on @xmath34 the result obviously holds .
similar to , @xmath409 thus , for the srp procedure , by conditioning on @xmath40 , we obtain @xmath410 where @xmath411 is the mean of the quasi - stationary distribution . by ,
@xmath412 and to obtain it suffices to take @xmath413 ( say ) .
therefore , nonlinear renewal theory can be applied to the sequence @xmath421 note also that @xmath422 so that the sequence @xmath423 satisfies the conditions of the nonlinear renewal theorem of woodroofe ( * ? ? ?
* theorem 4.5 ) uniformly in @xmath175 .
indeed , the sequence @xmath424 is slowly changing and converges @xmath425a.s .
( as @xmath267 ) to the finite random variable @xmath426 .
the nonlinear renewal theorem yields the following asymptotic approximation : @xmath427 } \bigg\ } + o(1 ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath65 as @xmath171 uniformly on @xmath172 .
note that all the necessary conditions of this theorem hold trivially .
the only condition that requires checking is the following : for some @xmath372 , @xmath428 { } 0 \quad \text{on $ \{r_\nu^r < a / n_a\}$ } .\ ] ] let @xmath429 , @xmath430 , and @xmath431 . changing the measure @xmath432
, we obtain that for any @xmath433 and @xmath434 @xmath435 } \\ & { \geqslant}{{\mathsf{e}}}_\nu\big[\exp{\left\{-s_{t_a^r}^{\nu+1}\right\ } } { { \one_{\ { { { { \mathcal{b}}}}_{a,\varepsilon},s_{t_a^r}^{\nu+1 } { \leqslant}c\ } } } } | t_a^r > \nu , r_\nu^r\big ] \\ & { \geqslant}e^{-c } \big [ { { \mathsf{p}}}_\nu{\left(t_a^r { \leqslant}\nu + l | t_a^r > \nu , r_\nu^r\right ) } - \\ & \quad { { \mathsf{p}}}_\nu \big(\max_{1{\leqslant}n { \leqslant}l } s_{\nu+n}^{\nu+1 } > c | t_a^r > \nu , r_\nu^r \big)\big ] . \end{aligned}\ ] ] setting @xmath436 and noting that @xmath437 we obtain @xmath438 where @xmath439 it remains to show that @xmath443 as @xmath117 for some @xmath444 .
note that @xmath445 by lemma [ lemsmax ] , @xmath446 { } 0,\ ] ] so that @xmath447 .
thus , condition holds , the asymptotic approximation follows and the proof is complete .
write @xmath450 .
note that @xmath451 as @xmath117 . obviously , @xmath452 note that for large enough @xmath34 @xmath453 and there exists @xmath454 such that for all @xmath455 , by kesten ( * ? ? ?
* theorem 5 ) , @xmath456 ( when @xmath457 first condition on @xmath458 , conditional on @xmath459 ) , so that the second term in the last equality in is @xmath47 . by lemma [ lem1 ] ,
the first term in the last equality in is equal to @xmath460 } \\ & \quad - { { \mathsf{e}}}_\nu{\left[\log{\left(1 + \frac{v_{\nu,\infty}}{1+r_\nu^r}\right ) } \bigg | t_a^r > \nu , r_\nu^r < l_a\right ] } \bigg \ } + o(1 ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] now , @xmath461 } \\ & = \frac{{{\mathsf{e}}}_\infty { \left[\log(1+r_\nu^r ) |
t_a^r > \nu\right ] } - { { \mathsf{e}}}_\infty { \left[\log(1+r_\nu^r ) | t_a^r > \nu , r_\nu^r { \geqslant}l_a\right ] } { { \mathsf{p}}}_\infty ( r_\nu^r { \geqslant}l_a| t_a^r > \nu)}{1-{{\mathsf{p}}}_\infty ( r_\nu^r { \geqslant}l_a| t_a^r >
\nu ) } \end{aligned}\ ] ] where by @xmath462 . also , since @xmath463 on @xmath464 , @xmath465 } { \leqslant}\log ( 1+a),\ ] ] so that @xmath466 } & = { { \mathsf{e}}}_\infty { \left[\log(1+r_\nu^r ) |
t_a^r > \nu\right ] } \\ & \times { \left[1 + \frac{{{\mathsf{p}}}_\infty(r_\nu^r { \geqslant}l_a|t_a^r > \nu)}{1-{{\mathsf{p}}}_\infty(r_\nu^r { \geqslant}l_a|t_a^r > \nu)}\right ] } + o(1 ) \\ & = { { \mathsf{e}}}_\infty [ \log(1+r_\nu^r ) |
t_a^r > \nu ] + o(1 ) \end{aligned}\ ] ] ( since @xmath467<\log ( 1+a)$ ] ) . by remark [ rem3.1 ] , @xmath174 is independent of @xmath175 and distributed as @xmath177 under @xmath24 .
since @xmath104 exists , it follows that @xmath468 } - { { \mathsf{e}}}{\left[\log { \left(1+\frac{v_\infty}{1+r_\infty}\right)}\right]}\right\ } } + o(1 ) \\ & = \frac{1}{i } { \left\ { \log a + \varkappa - { { \mathsf{e}}}{\left[\log { \left(1+r_\infty + v_\infty\right)}\right ] } \right\}}+o(1 ) \quad \text{as $ a \to \infty$ } \end{aligned}\ ] ] and the proof of is complete .
it remains to prove the validity of asymptotic approximation .
putting @xmath14 in , we obtain that the stopping time of the sr@xmath235 procedure can be written as @xmath469 where @xmath470 and @xmath471 is the random walk with the drift @xmath232 ( under @xmath24 ) .
the sequence @xmath472 is slowly changing and converges @xmath473a.s .
to the random variable @xmath474 whose expectation is equal to @xmath259 .
the crucial condition @xmath475 { } 0 \quad \text{for some}~\varepsilon > 0\ ] ] holds in an analogous way that yields .
therefore , nonlinear renewal theory can be applied to yield @xmath476 = \frac{1}{i } ( \log a + \varkappa - c_r ) + o(1 ) \quad \text{as}~ a\to\infty,\ ] ] and the proof is complete . recall that @xmath165 .
we have @xmath477 since @xmath478 and since for a sufficiently large @xmath34 , @xmath479 for the first term , denoted as @xmath480 , we have @xmath481 { } 0,\ ] ] so that @xmath482 as @xmath166 .
write @xmath483 by lemma [ lem1 ] , uniformly in @xmath484 @xmath485 therefore , for the second term ( denote it as @xmath486 ) we have @xmath487 { { \mathsf{p}}}_\infty(t_a>\nu ) } { { { \mathsf{e}}}_\infty t_a}-{}\\ & { } \qquad\qquad\qquad\qquad\qquad\qquad-\frac{\sum_{\nu=1}^{n_a } d_a { { \mathsf{p}}}_\infty(t_a>\nu ) } { { { \mathsf{e}}}_\infty t_a } \\ & = d_a + o(1)-\frac{d_a \sum_{\nu=1}^{n_a } { { \mathsf{p}}}_\infty(t_a>\nu)}{{{\mathsf{e}}}_\infty t_a } = d_a + o(1 ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where the last equality follows immediately from the fact that @xmath488 { } 0 , \ ] ] where the inequality holds for a sufficiently large @xmath34
. the required result follows . if @xmath245 is concave , then @xmath496 , so @xmath497 is a non - increasing function of @xmath250 .
therefore , we have @xmath498 } { \leqslant}0 , \end{aligned}\ ] ] which implies that @xmath499 is a non - increasing function of @xmath249 .
let @xmath244 denote the cdf of @xmath241 , and let @xmath500 denote probability when @xmath244 is the cdf of @xmath241 , when observations are iid .
the following applies both for @xmath244 defined by @xmath501 as well as for @xmath244 defined by @xmath502 . under the assumption of the theorem
, @xmath244 is log - concave . if @xmath503 , then @xmath504 for all @xmath505 , so that @xmath506 crosses @xmath34 no later ( and often earlier ) than @xmath507 .
hence , @xmath143 is a decreasing function of @xmath4 and @xmath253 is an increasing function of @xmath4 .
( note that this is true in general , with no assumption of log - concavity . )
note that @xmath518 , and therefore , @xmath519 exits @xmath520 at the same time that @xmath521 exits @xmath522 regardless of the distribution of @xmath523 .
it follows that @xmath524 , where @xmath525 and @xmath526 are the @xmath21-stationary distributions of @xmath519 and @xmath521 , which are also the corresponding @xmath21-quasi - stationary distributions of the markov processes @xmath527 and @xmath516 .
let @xmath528 . in a manner similar to , @xmath529 where @xmath493 , @xmath530 and @xmath531 .
writing @xmath532 we obtain that @xmath533 since ( by the same consideration as in the proof of lemma [ lem3 ] ) @xmath534 is non - increasing function of @xmath535 , it follows that @xmath536 construct a sample space where @xmath539 . by
, @xmath540 is stochastically larger than @xmath541 .
hence , one can construct the probability space so that also @xmath542 . now , due to stochastic monotonicity of the transition probabilities , @xmath543 is stochastically larger than @xmath544 , and one can construct the probability space so that also @xmath545 . continuing this inductively ,
one obtains a sample space where @xmath546 for all @xmath547 . under @xmath21 , @xmath548 and @xmath549
tend in distribution to the quasi - stationary distributions @xmath526 and @xmath550 , respectively , so it follows that @xmath551 for all @xmath250
. finally , consider the process @xmath552 governed by @xmath553 and started at @xmath554 and the process @xmath555 governed by @xmath556 and started at @xmath557 . in just the same way as above , we can construct a single probability space with @xmath558 for all @xmath547 .
therefore , the process @xmath552 will exit above @xmath559 no later than the process @xmath555 , and therefore the expected exit time of @xmath552 will not exceed that of @xmath555 .
but these expectations are arl s to false alarm if @xmath560 and @xmath239 if @xmath561 .
furthermore , the arl to false alarm and the @xmath239 of @xmath562 ( where @xmath563 ) are equal to those of @xmath552 . clearly , the first exit time of @xmath562 from @xmath564 is nothing but the srp stopping time @xmath565 .
hence , it follows that both the average delay to detection @xmath509 ( @xmath566 ) and the arl to false alarm @xmath510 of the srp procedure are increasing functions of @xmath34 , and the proof is complete . | arxiv |
binary - star studies are valuable for what they provide directly ( e.g. , stellar masses ) , as well as for the information they provide about the configurations resulting from star - formation processes .
this topic was particularly well developed in a classical series of studies by abt and collaborators .
for instance , abt , gomez , & levy ( 1990 ) discussed this question for late b stars . for several decades ,
binary - star studies have been the beneficiary of developments in observational techniques , particularly those providing high spatial resolution and access to new wavelength regions .
a clear demonstration of progress in this area was the discussion by duquennoy & mayor ( 1991 ) of the binary properties of solar - mass stars .
they combined extensive coravel radial - velocity ( rv ) observations with results from visual binaries and common - proper - motion stars to explore distributions of mass ratios and eccentricities at all separations . recently
this work has been updated by raghavan et al .
( 2010 ) to include new advances in high - resolution techniques ( long - baseline interferometry and speckle interferometry ) .
stars more massive than solar type are more difficult to study , because they are rarer , and hence more distant , and also because they have broad spectral lines , which limit the accuracy of rvs .
however , new observational techniques have likewise greatly enhanced the knowledge of their properties ( e.g. , kobulnicky & fryer 2007 ; kouwenhoven et al . 2007 ; mason et al .
2009 ; sana & evans 2011 ) .
sana & evans , for instance , find a fairly constant fraction ( 44% ) of spectroscopic binaries among ob stars in several nearby open clusters .
systems with small mass ratios ( i.e. , low secondary masses ) are the most difficult to identify .
evans et al .
( 2011a ) have used a different approach to determine the fraction of b stars with low - mass companions .
since late b stars produce x - rays very rarely , the fraction of late b stars in the young cluster tr 16 ( associated with @xmath4 car ) that were detected in x - rays provides the fraction ( 3239% ) which have young low - mass companions .
comparing the observed properties of binary and multiple systems with star - formation calculations is a test of the model predictions .
an obvious first step of this approach is a comparison of the properties of binary systems containing high- and low - mass primary stars , but our knowledge of binaries among intermediate- and high - mass stars is still not as extensive as it is for solar - mass stars .
this paper is the first in a series aimed at determining the properties of binary systems containing cepheid variables .
cepheids are stars of intermediate masses , ranging from about 4 to @xmath6 ; in this paper we will use @xmath7 as the typical cepheid mass .
cepheids are particularly useful for determining binary properties for several reasons .
they have narrow spectral lines , providing accurate rvs from optical spectroscopy .
if a cepheid has a fairly high - mass companion , the companion will dominate the light of the system in the ultraviolet ( uv ) , thus immediately demonstrating that the system is a binary .
this further makes it possible to determine masses by measuring the orbital velocity amplitude of the companion in the uv , for example by using _ hubble space telescope _ ( _ hst _ ) spectra ( e.g. , evans et al .
the combination of the optical and uv rv curves provides the mass ratio , and if the mass of the hot companion is inferred from its spectral type , the actual mass of the cepheid .
such studies provide direct evidence on the distribution of mass ratios in binaries containing cepheids ( e.g. , evans 1995 ) .
they also provide information about the fraction of triple systems ( evans et al .
2005 ) , because the companions can be directly studied in the uv .
a number of cepheid - containing triple systems have been identified through rv variability of the companions ( or inferred from the orbital mass functions ) . as compared with a sample of single - lined spectroscopic binaries , the ability to directly observe the companions
provides a much higher detection rate of triples .
this paper focuses on a complete sample of b- and early a - type companions of cepheid variables , which was obtained through a survey with the _ international ultraviolet explorer _ ( _ iue _ ) satellite , as described in 2 .
this approach has the strength that the survey is sensitive to binary companions at all possible separations .
by contrast , rv studies only find the close systems .
conversely , the limitation of this approach is that it does not detect low - mass companions .
the properties of the massive companion set include a few results from our recent _ hst _ snapshot imaging survey of cepheids with the wide field camera 3 ( wfc3)to be described in more detail in a subsequent paper as well as orbital information on our sample from the literature . in the following sections we discuss the construction of the sample , the derivation of the orbital separations and mass ratios , their distribution functions , and some implications of our results .
in order to have a well - defined sample , we start with a spectroscopic survey of all 76 galactic cepheids brighter than visual magnitude 8 , which was carried out with the _ iue _ satellite by one of us ( evans 1992a ) .
these spectra , obtained with _ iue _
s lwp and lwr cameras , covered the near - ultraviolet ( nuv ) wavelength range 2000 to 3200 . from this study we selected the cepheids
for which _ iue _ revealed a companion of spectral type a2 v or earlier , corresponding to companion masses greater than about @xmath8 ( e.g. , harmanec 1988 ) .
these are highly probable physical companions , because the rarity of a- and b - type stars in the field makes it very unlikely that such a star would be within the _ iue _ aperture by chance .
the sensitivity of this _ iue _ survey to hot companions varies somewhat from star to star , because of differences in the intrinsic luminosity of the cepheids , differences in the pulsation phases ( hence magnitude and color ) at the time of the observation , and different exposure times .
one product of the survey was a list of the spectral types of the brightest companions of each cepheid that would _ not _ have been detected ( evans 1992a , table 1c ) .
these limits were generally mid - a spectral types , but they were early a for some , and late b for four stars . of the complete sample of 76 cepheids observed in the nuv with _ iue _ ,
15 of them had detected a- or b - type companions ( evans 1992a , table 3a ) . to this list
we have added three more cepheids : ( 1 ) v636 sco and t vul , because hot companions of both stars were detected with the _ iue _ far - ultraviolet ( fuv ) spectrograph and swp camera ( evans 1992b , table 3b ) .
they were not evident on the 2000 to 3200 exposures presumably because of the phase of the cepheid .
( 2 ) @xmath9 cep itself , because trigonometric parallaxes obtained with the fine guidance system ( fgs ) on _ hst _ showed that the cepheid and its @xmath10 b - type companion hd 213307 are at the same distance ( benedict et al .
our list of the 18 cepheids with companions of @xmath11 or more is given in table 1 .
for each cepheid that had a detected hot companion , spectral types are available from _ iue _ observations in the fuv spectral range ( 11501950 ) .
fuv spectra of late b and early a stars are particularly sensitive to temperature changes , and such companions completely dominate the spectra , so the spectral types are tightly constrained .
the spectral classifications were derived by comparison with _ iue _ swp spectra of mk standard stars . because the spectral energy distribution is so temperature - sensitive , many of the companions were found to have spectral types lying between those of the mk standards , resulting in fractional spectral types such as b9.8 v. table 1 lists the spectral types for the companions and the references from which they were taken ( cols.2 and 3 ) .
many of the cited sources provide plots directly comparing the companion spectra with those of mk standards .
masses of the companions were derived from their spectral types , and are given in col . 4 of table 1 .
for the late b and early a companions , the large luminosity difference between the cepheid and the companion means that the companion can be assumed to lie on the zero - age main sequence ( zams ) . for the zams , we use the harmanec ( 1988 ) calibration of masses vs. spectral types .
the masses for these stars in table 1 are mostly taken from evans ( 1995 ) , but are new values for @xmath4 aql , su cas , s nor , t vul , and the systems discussed below .
table 1 also contains three hotter companions , some of which may have evolved beyond the zams ; these objects were discussed by evans ( 1994 ) .
masses for ax cir , bp cir ( overtone mode ) , and v659 cen are from fig . 7 in that paper , and are based on the geneva evolutionary tracks , which include mild core convective overshoot .
a few companion masses in table 1 require further discussion .
( 1 ) _ @xmath9 cep _ : the spectral type and mass for the companion , hd 213307 , are taken from benedict et al .
( 2002 ) .
( 2 ) _ s mus _ : the companion spectral type was derived from _ far ultraviolet spectroscopic explorer _ ( _ fuse _ ) spectra ( evans et al .
2006 ) , from which the mass was derived as discussed in that paper .
( 3 ) _ aw per _ : the cepheid and its companion have been rediscussed by massa & evans ( 2008 ) , who derived a temperature for the hottest companion of @xmath12 k. this effective temperature is used with the harmanec relation to derive the mass and spectral type given in table 1 .
massa & evans confirm , however , that the secondary is itself a binary based on the mass function of the spectroscopic orbit .
( 4 ) _ t mon _ : from _ hst _ high - resolution uv spectra , evans et al . ( 1999 ) found that the companion is a magnetic chemically peculiar ap star , very similar to @xmath13 cvn , and also a binary .
the companion mass is taken from that paper .
table 1 contains a sample of intermediate - mass companions of @xmath0@xmath7 stars with uniquely complete information over the full range range of separations . however , there are some further points that need to be addressed .
as is typical of massive stars , there is a high fraction of triple systems in this list of binaries ( evans et al .
the spectral types and masses in table 1 pertain to the hottest companion star in the system , but there may be additional system members .
two examples are as follows .
( 1 ) w sgr is a spectroscopic binary with a period of 1780 days , and _ iue _ revealed an a0 v companion . however , spatially resolved uv spectra obtained by evans et al.(2009 ) with the _ hst _ space telescope imaging spectrograph ( stis ) showed that the a0 v star is resolved from the cepheid at a separation of @xmath14 , based on an analysis of stis spectra taken at several telescope roll angles .
thus the a0 v star is not the secondary component in the 1780-day binary , and the system is a triple . ( 2 ) v1334 cyg is a single - lined spectroscopic binary with an orbital period of 1938 days ( evans 2000 ) , and a b7 v companion detected by _
v1334 cyg is cataloged as the resolved double star ads 14859 , with several reports of a companion being seen by visual observers at separations of @xmath15@xmath16 ; if so , v1334 cyg would also be a triple system .
however , neither _ hst _ fgs interferometry nor foc imaging ( 19982000 ) were able to resolve the visual companion , nor were there any convincing detections of a companion in speckle - interferometry measurements between 1976 and 2005 ( evans et al .
but very recently , gallenne et al.(2013 ) , using the chara array , reported that they have resolved a very close companion in observations made at two epochs in 2012 .
the measured separations were @xmath17 and @xmath18 .
these observations indicate that the b star seen by _ iue _ is the 1938-day companion , but this leaves the occasional reports of a more distant visually resolved companion unexplained .
having assembled the complete sample of 18 cepheids brighter than @xmath19 that have binary companions more massive than @xmath8 , we will now investigate the orbital separations in these systems . in col .
5 of table 1 , we indicate whether the systems have a spectroscopic rv orbit with a known period ( o ) , have been spatially resolved ( r ) , or have an unknown orbital period but detected orbital motion ( om ) . of the 18 systems listed in table 1
, nine have known orbital periods based on rv studies . for these binaries ,
the orbital periods are listed in col .
6 of table 1 , and are taken from evans et al .
( 2005 ) or evans et al .
( 2011b ) .
the logarithms of the orbital periods are given in col .
7 , and the logarithms of the orbital separations in col . 8 .
these objects tend of course to be the more compact binary systems .
we have recently completed a snapshot imaging survey of 69 nearby cepheids with the _ hst _ wfc3 camera ( program i d number go-12215 ) .
full details of the survey , in particular point - spread function ( psf ) subtraction to search for resolved low - mass companions of the cepheids , will be presented in a later paper .
however , some of the results are relevant to the present study of more massive cepheid companions .
the wfc3 images were obtained in the medium - width f621 m and f845 m filters , hereafter referred to as `` @xmath20 '' and `` @xmath21 . ''
all 18 stars listed in table 1 were imaged in the course of the snapshot survey . for three of the targets@xmath4 aql , v659 cen , and
s nor the intermediate - mass companion stars were resolved .
figure 1 depicts the @xmath20-band images of these three systems , and table 2 gives details of the observations and measurements .
the companions are plainly visible although the psf is complicated and even these relatively bright companions are significantly fainter than the cepheid .
we did not attempt to measure the brightnesses of these companions in these images , since the _ iue _ spectra provide information about the temperature and brightness of the companions .
however , we have measured the separation from the cepheid directly on the @xmath21-band images , which is listed in table 2 .
these are , of course , only the instantaneous projected separations ; however we will be examining the distribution of the logarithm of separations , so this is a small uncertainty . for completeness , we also include in table 2 the wider resolved @xmath9 cep system , and the close w sgr , both of which were discussed in 2 .
( the companion of @xmath9 cep was outside our wfc3 field of view , and the companion of w sgr was within the saturated pixels close to the cepheid . ) for @xmath4 aql , benedict et al .
( 2007 ) found perturbations in their _ hst _ fgs measurements within a couple of years , implying a companion in a relatively short - period orbit .
since we have now directly resolved the hottest companion in the system ( table 2 ) with a much larger separation / period , we conclude that the system is triple .
the cepheid s nor is a member of a cluster , increasing the probability of a chance optical alignment .
however , the small separation ( @xmath22 ) makes a physical association highly probable .
s nor also has a hot companion at a much wider separation of @xmath23 ( evans & udalski 1994 ) , making it a possible triple . in this case , given the high stellar density in the cluster , this could be a chance alignment .
we used the angular separations in table 2 , along with the secondary masses from table 1 , and the primary masses and distances from table 3 ( below ) , to calculate nominal orbital periods , by equating the projected angular separation to the semimajor axis , @xmath24 , of the putative orbit .
the resulting @xmath25 values are given in col .
7 of table 1 . to distinguish these from the directly determined spectroscopic periods ( 3.1 ) ,
the @xmath25 values are given to only one decimal place .
col . 8 of table 1 gives the values of @xmath26 , again to only one decimal .
of the 18 systems in table 1 , nine have known orbital periods , and five have been spatially resolved , as recounted above .
the remaining four stars ( su cas , bp cir , t mon , and t vul ) have detected hot companions whose temperatures and luminosities are consistent with the distances of the cepheids ( evans 1992b ; evans 1992c ; evans 1994 ; evans et al . 1999 ) .
while a chance alignment between a b or a star and a cepheid is highly improbable , orbital motion would be conclusive proof of physical association . in this subsection
we discuss what is known from rvs in the literature , and what limits can be put on the separations .
( 1 ) _ su cas _
: rvs have been measured in a number of studies .
the best claim for the detection of orbital motion is by gorynya , rastorguev , & samus ( 1996 ) , who rate su cas as a possible spectroscopic binary .
we have tested this by comparing two seasons of accurate data from the same group ( moscow university ) so that instrumental differences should be minimal .
typical uncertainties of their annual velocities are @xmath27@xmath28 .
we have chosen data from two years ( 1995 and 1997 ) which are predicted to have orbital velocities close to minimum and maximum according to their proposed orbit , and a velocity difference of @xmath29 .
when the pulsation velocity curves from the two years are overlaid , there is no appreciable difference , certainly nothing as large as that predicted by the orbit .
we conclude that orbital motion has _ not _ been detected convincingly .
( 2 ) _ bp cir _ : rv data have been discussed by petterson et al . ( 2004 ) .
the original velocity data are from balona ( 1981 ) , and have standard deviations of @xmath30 ( stobie & balona 1979 ) .
data were added from the mount john university observatory , with the final three years providing an accuracy of @xmath27@xmath31 .
petterson et al .
estimate the orbital motion to be greater than @xmath32 .
orbital motion appears to be seen on timescales of decades , providing some constraint on the period , but further observations are needed for confirmation .
( 3 ) _ t mon _ : rv variation is seen , although the orbital period is too long for a determination at present .
preliminary estimates of the period are between 90 and 260 years ( evans et al .
1999 ) .
( 4 ) _ t vul _ : it has been suggested several times that orbital motion may have been detected in rv measurements .
bersier et al .
( 1994 ) discuss this on the basis of 11 years of coravel data .
they find a standard deviation of the data around the pulsation fourier curve of only @xmath33 .
there are some limitations in the spacing of the data , in that the coravel observations were made only in the autumn and the most likely suggested period is close to 2 years .
however , there is no evidence of orbital motion at the level of @xmath34@xmath35 .
kiss ( 1998 ) and kiss & vinko ( 2000 ) extended the data series to 20 years using rvs from david dunlap observatory spectra .
3 in kiss & vinko shows no indication of orbital motion , only a possible small difference in the shape of the curve from the analytic fit to the coravel data .
we conclude that the highest - quality data show no orbital motion . while these four stars do not have a period or separation as well defined as either the stars with rv orbits or the resolved stars , there is information on both these quantities which provides significant constraints .
for the two stars with orbital motion , bp cir and t mon , we can assign reasonable estimates of the periods from the discussion in the previous section which should not result in large errors in the distribution of @xmath25 for the entire sample . for bp cir , an orbital period of 20 years ( @xmath36 in days )
is plausible for the observed orbital motion . for t
mon , a period of @xmath0150 years ( @xmath37 in days ) is in the middle of the range of plausible orbital periods . the remaining two stars
su cas and t vul appear to lie in the orbital separation range between the stars with known orbital periods and those for which the companions are separated widely enough to be resolved with _ hst _ or from the ground .
neither star was resolved in our wfc3 survey .
we estimate that these comparatively bright companions would have been resolved for a separation of more than @xmath38 . using the distances to the two stars , as well as the masses ( tables 1 and 3 ) , this results in upper limits to @xmath25 of 5.2 for su cas and 5.5 for t vul . for lower limits to the separation , we use rv observations .
as discussed above for su cas , orbital motion was not seen in recent rv data ( gorynya et al .
there are also earlier high - quality rv data . based in particular on the discussion of niva & schmidt ( 1979 )
we conclude that no orbital motion has been detected over 40 years , and use that as an orbital period lower limit ( @xmath39 in days ) .
thus the available data constrain the periods for both stars to lie between @xmath40 and 3 @xmath41 @xmath42 days . in table 1
we assign su cas to @xmath43 and t vul to @xmath44 .
the next parameter of the sample to examine is the mass ratio @xmath45 , where @xmath46 is the mass of the secondary companion and @xmath47 is the mass of the cepheid .
one of the strengths of the present study is that the masses of _ both _ the primary and the secondary can be inferred from uncontaminated spectra and photometry of both stars in the visible and the uv , respectively .
furthermore , this direct access to the parameters of both components is available at _ all _ orbital separations , which is unique among samples of massive stars .
table 3 lists the relevant parameters for the cepheid components , which have been determined as follows .
col . 2 : pulsation periods ; three of the stars ( su cas , bp cir , and v1334 cyg ) pulsate in the first overtone , so the listed period has been `` fundamentalized '' using the relation from alcock et al . (
1995 ) : @xmath48 where @xmath49 is the first overtone - mode period and @xmath50 is the fundamental period . col . 3 : unreddened visual absolute magnitude , @xmath51 , derived from the leavitt ( period - luminosity ) relation as given by benedict et al . ( 2007 ) : @xmath52 cols .
46 : values of @xmath53 , @xmath54 , and @xmath55 , which have been corrected for the effect of the companion and are taken from the same sources as the companion spectral types ( or can be directly traced from those references ) .
corrected photometry for s mus is from evans , massa , & teays ( 1994 ) .
the exception is @xmath9 cep , where the companion does not affect these values because it is well resolved ; its parameters have been taken from the galactic cepheid database ( fernie et al .
for all of the cepheids , @xmath55 has been computed using @xmath56 , appropriate for cepheids ( evans 1991 ) .
78 : bolometric correction , taken from flower ( 1996 ) , and the resulting value of @xmath57 .
. 9 : distance , calculated from @xmath51 and @xmath55 .
col . 10 : mass , computed using the models of prada moroni et al . ( 2012 ) with moderate convective overshoot [ 0.2 times the pressure scale height at the edge of the convective core on the main sequence ( `` noncanonical '' ; bono 2012 private communication ) ] , from the relation @xmath58 using the cepheid masses in the final column of table 3 , we calculated values of the mass ratio @xmath59 , which are listed in col . 9 of table 1 .
figure 2 shows the distribution of cepheid masses ( solid red line ) and companion masses ( dashed black line ) in our sample , which of course is truncated for companion masses lower than @xmath11 .
3 plots the companion masses against the cepheid masses , and indicates no strong correlation between them .
in fact , two of the most massive cepheids ( s mus and s nor , at masses of 6.2 and @xmath60 respectively ) have companions covering nearly the full range of companion masses ( 5.3 and @xmath61 respectively . )
table 1 provides the information for a study of the distribution of orbital separations and periods . however
, we must keep in mind two sample biases : ( 1 ) although the photometric approach to creating the sample means that companions at any separation are equally likely to be identified , the sample contains only companions hotter than early a spectral type , with the least massive being @xmath62 ( t vul b ) . ( 2 ) stars evolving off the main sequence in relatively close orbits will undergo roche - lobe overflow and the subsequent evolution of the system will be drastically altered . for cepheids
we have a good estimation of where this effect sets in .
z lac not in our sample because the mass of its unseen companion has an upper limit of @xmath63 is the cepheid with the shortest known orbital period ( 382 days ; sugars & evans 1996 ) .
it is also the only known pop i classical cepheid binary orbit with zero eccentricity , suggesting that it was circularized , appropriate for a system which just missed significant roche - lobe overflow . the orbital separations in col .
8 of table 1 were calculated as follows .
directly measured ( projected ) separations for the five resolved binaries have been taken from table 2 . for the remaining objects ,
the semimajor axes were calculated from the masses and orbital periods .
values of the separation from measured orbital periods are given to two decimal places , and from projected separations or the estimated periods of su cas and t vul to one decimal place .
for the triple systems the total mass of the system , and hence the separation , will be underestimated since we do not know the mass of the third star . however , since we know the masses of the two most massive stars in the system , this is a relatively small underestimate . fig .
4 shows the distribution of separations .
the vertical dashed line marks the cutoff in separations for periods of less than a year .
the distribution of orbital periods for our cepheids is shown as the red histogram in fig .
5 . we know
the bin for @xmath64 to 3 is incomplete due to the destruction of short - period orbits ( sugars & evans 1996 ) .
because the shortest orbital period for a pop i classical cepheid ( z lac , log p = 2.58 ) falls in the center of this bin , we have doubled the number of cepheids in that bin to account for stars removed from the sample .. for comparison , we show ( dashed black histogram ) the distribution of orbital separations for solar - mass stars from raghavan et al .
we have used their fig .
11 to create a sample with @xmath65 for comparison with the cepheid sample .
( binaries in the raghavan sample with @xmath66 have been omitted . )
the difference between the distributions of orbital periods for @xmath1 and @xmath67 in fig .
5 is striking , in that the more massive stars are concentrated at shorter periods than are the solar - mass stars .
the difference in the distributions is confirmed by the cumulative distribution functions ( cdfs ) plotted in fig . 6 , showing the observed cepheid distribution compared with the gaussian fitted by raghavan et al . ( 2010 ) to solar - mass stars .
a kolmogorov - smirnov ( k - s ) test confirms that the cepheid cdf is significantly different from the cdf created from fig .
11 of raghavan et al . for the same range of mass ratios and separations .
however if @xmath25 is arbitrarily increased for the cepheids , the form of the cdf closely matches that for the solar - mass stars .
sana & evans ( 2011 ) have assembled binary / multiple properties of o and early b ( down to b3 ) stars from the field and a large sample of galactic clusters .
7 shows the cepheid cdf compared with the sana & evans ( 2011 ) results .
they fit the data with a `` broken pik s law '' divided for periods longer and shorter than 10 days .
( pik s law [ pik 1924 ] , as discussed by sana & evans , models the distribution of periods to be flat in @xmath25 space . ) fig .
7 shows the slope of their cdf ( defined for @xmath68 to 3.5 , but shown in the plot from @xmath69 to 3.5 , and extrapolated to longer periods ) .
the cepheid data fit the extrapolation well to about @xmath70 .
the decline at higher periods matches the expectation from the gaussian fit to solar mass stars . for @xmath71 cepheid binaries
have low frequency because roche - lobe overflow occurs during post - main - sequence evolution .
one parameter that is similar between 5 and @xmath67 stars is the binary frequency .
the binary frequencies for periods longer than a year and @xmath65 are 24% for cepheids and 27% for solar - mass stars .
the mass ratios , @xmath59 , in table 1 have been computed directly from _ uncontaminated _ information about both components .
the mass ratio of bp cir has the unphysical result that it is slightly larger than 1.0 ( @xmath72 ) .
we take this simply to indicate an uncertainty in the derivation of the masses , and that the mass of the cepheid is only very slightly larger than that of the companion .
8 shows the frequency distribution of @xmath59 .
although the sample is modest in size , it is well defined .
the @xmath730.4 bin is presumably somewhat incomplete , since the sample criterion was based on the mass of the secondary , and the resulting @xmath59 depends also on the mass of the primary .
the highest frequency is for systems in the smallest two bins ( @xmath740.5 ) .
one interpretation of the cepheid distribution would be a bimodal one , with a concentration at large @xmath59 ( equal masses ) and another one around @xmath75 , with fewer systems in between .
does the distribution of mass ratios depend on the separations of the systems ?
8 compares the total sample with the sample of closer systems ( @xmath76 ; scaled by a factor of 2 ) .
the largest change is in the smaller-@xmath59 bins .
that is , there is an indication that closer systems are more likely to have larger @xmath59 than wider systems ( remembering that the cepheid sample is limited to systems of a year or longer , i.e. , @xmath77 . )
cepheids ( evans et al .
2005 ) and also solar - mass stars ( raghavan et al .
2010 ) have a high proportion of triple systems among the multiple systems .
the sample discussed here is a particularly good one for examining the effects of triple systems , since information is available about each secondary mass and frequently the velocity of the secondary , which increases the probability of identifying triple systems
10 and 11 in table 1 indicate which of the cepheid sample are known to be triple systems , and the source of this information .
( v1334 cyg is not classified as a triple as discussed above .
) there may be additional unrecognized triple systems in the sample since complete detection requires extensive observation of both stars in a binary .
9 shows the distribution of mass ratios for the known members of triple systems compared with the full sample .
the large-@xmath59 systems do _ not _ appear in the sample of triples .
that is , there is an indication that in a triple system , the mass ratio between the most massive and the second most massive star in the system is not as large as in a simple binary system , presumably frequently somewhat compensated for by the mass of the third star in the system . the comparison between the cumulative distributions is shown in fig .
10 . as in figs . 8 and 9 ,
differences are suggestive but not statistically significant in a k - s test .
how does the distribution of mass ratios for our cepheids compare with those for other stellar classes ?
sana & evans ( 2011 ) find that for their o - star sample , a uniform distribution in @xmath59 fits the data well .
this is shown in fig . 11 ,
compared with the distribution for the cepheid sample .
the normalization is approximate because the cepheid study does not include small-@xmath59 systems . for solar - mass stars ,
duquennoy & mayor ( 1991 ) concluded that the @xmath59 distribution is very similar to the initial mass function ( imf ) , with few systems near @xmath78 and many with small @xmath59 .
the recent , updated sample by raghavan et al . ( 2010 ) came to different conclusions .
11 also shows the distribution of @xmath59 values for the raghavan et al .
sample of solar - mass stars . for the comparison we have used data from their fig .
16 ( left ) binary systems .
their study illustrates very well the complexity presented by components from the combination of binary and multiple systems .
they have looked at the @xmath59 distribution for binary and multiple systems divided in two ways ( within a spectroscopic binary and also the ratio of the combined spectroscopic binary mass to the mass of the visual binary secondary ) .
the first approach ( their fig .
16b ) gives a distribution very similar to that of their binary systems .
we do not have information comparable to the second approach ( their fig .
therefore we have adopted their distribution for binary systems as representative of their findings .
we have rebinned it into bins covering 0.1 in @xmath59 and approximately scaled it ( fig .
this treatment of the data decreases the prominence of the peak at equal masses ( @xmath79 ) for the solar - mass stars , which makes the distribution reasonably similar to the uniform distribution for the o stars .
the largest peak in the cepheid data is at the smallest @xmath59 values in our sample .
further discussion of the distribution of @xmath59 values is deferred to a later paper in this series , which will deal with a larger range of mass ratios .
an important parameter to investigate further with this sample is whether there is any difference in binary / multiple characteristics between close and wide systems .
figs . 12 and 13 explore further the comparison made in fig . 8 . fig .
12 shows the distributions of mass ratios for stars with @xmath80 and @xmath81 .
the suggestion that closer systems have larger mass ratios is confirmed in fig .
13 , which compares the cumulative distributions for these two period groups .
an important question in interpreting the distributions in figs .
12 and 13 is whether they trace back to the original formation state , or whether there has been any dynamical evolution in the periods and separations of the systems after formation .
one approach to this problem is to compare the properties of binary and triple systems .
systems with three ( or more ) components can have interactions between the stars which will alter the original configuration ( even sometimes ejecting a component ) , which does not happen in purely binary systems .
as discussed above , we have identified a number of triple systems within the sample .
14 compares the distribution of mass ratio and @xmath25 for binary and triple systems . as noted above
, the binary systems have higher @xmath59 on average . using the binary sample as `` dynamically unevolved , '' fig .
14 shows that it contains wide systems as well as close ones , similar to the triple systems .
that is , the indication is that the wide systems are not exclusively those with a component moved out by dynamical interaction .
there are two caveats to this first exploration .
some of the binaries may have undetected third components ( despite the extensive multi - wavelength information on the sample ) . however , the binary sample should be dominated by systems which have not had internal interactions between components .
second , of course , it is possible that a previous component has been ejected , but this could have happened in either the binary or triple sample .
we have used an _ iue _ survey of cepheids to create a list of binary systems with mass ratios @xmath82 , which is complete for all separations . we have combined separations from resolved companions from an _ hst _ imaging survey with orbits from the literature and rv data to derive the distribution of orbital separations for the sample .
the @xmath1 cepheids are found to have systematically shorter orbital periods than the sample of @xmath83 stars from raghavan et al .
( 2010 ) , confirmed as statistically significant by a k - s test ( fig .
the distribution of mass ratios is also presented , with suggestions that closer systems have larger mass ratios and also that triple systems have smaller secondary to primary mass ratios . the distribution of mass ratios as a function of orbital separation , however , is the same whether a system is a binary or a triple .
these results for @xmath1 for all separations and mass ratios @xmath84 is the first step to be followed by studies of resolved companions , low - mass companions ( of late b stars ) , and radial - velocity observations .
the picture that is thus built up of binary properties will be compared with those of higher and lower mass stars for insights into star formation as well as future evolution .
it is a pleasure to thank h. harris and k. kratter for valuable discussions .
_ iue _ continues to provide a valuable foundation for cepheid companion studies .
support for this work was also provided by hst grant go-12215.01-a and from the chandra x - ray center nasa contract nas8 - 03060 .
vizier and simbad were used in the preparation of this study .
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2011a , , 194 , 13 evans , n. r. , berdnikov , l. , gorynya , n. , rastorguev , a. , & eaton , j. 2011b , aj , 142 , 87 fernie , j.d . , beattie , b. , evans , n.r .
, & seager , s. 1995 , ibvs no .
4148 as a function of @xmath25 ( in days ) .
systems known to be triple systems are filled squares ; binary systems are x s .
the dashed vertical line is the dividing line in previous figures at @xmath87 ( period in days ) .
[ fig14 ] ] llccclllccl @xmath4 aql & b9.8 v & 3 & 2.3 & r & & 5.5 & 2.3 & 0.40 & t & 12 + u aql & b9.8 v & 1 & 2.3 & o & 1856 & 3.27 & 0.77 & 0.40 & t & 11 + rx cam & a0 v & 1 & 2.2 & o & 1113 & 3.05 & 0.62 & 0.38 & & + su cas & b9.5 v & 3 & 2.4 & & & 5.1 & 2.0 & 0.57 & & + v659 cen & b6.0 & 4 & 4.4 & r & & 6.1 & 2.7 & 0.85 & & + @xmath9 cep & b7 - 8 & 10 & 4 & r & & 8.1 & 4.0 & 0.77 & t & 10 + ax cir & b6.0 & 4 & 5.0 & o & 6532 & 3.82 & 1.17 & 0.96 & & + bp cir & b6.0 & 4 & 4.7 & om & & 3.9 & 1.2 & 1.05 & & + su cyg & b8.0 v & 1 & 3.2 & o & 549 & 2.74 & 0.42 & 0.68 & t & 11 + v1334 cyg & b7.0 v & 1 & 4.0 & o & 1938 & 3.29 & 0.80 & 0.82 & & + t mon & a0p & 8 & 3.0 & om & & 4.7 & 1.8 & 0.33 & t & 8 + s mus & b3 v & 7 & 5.3 & o & 505 & 2.70 & 0.45 & 0.85 & & + s nor & b9.5 v & 2 & 2.4 & r & & 6.5 & 2.9 & 0.38 & & + aw per & b6 : & 6 & 4.0 & o & 13100 & 4.12 & 1.36 & 0.74 & t & 11 + w sgr & a0 v & 1 & 2.2 & r & & 4.8 & 1.8 & 0.38 & t & 11 + v350 sgr & b9.0 v & 5 & 2.5 & o & 1473 & 3.17 & 0.70 & 0.49 & & + v636 sco & b9.5 v & 1 & 2.4 & o & 1318 & 3.12 & 0.67 & 0.43 & t & 11 + t vul & a0.8 v & 9 & 2.1 & & & 4.9 & 1.8 & 0.43 & & + lccccccccc @xmath4 aql & 7.17 & @xmath88 & 0.12 & 0.71 & 3.48 & @xmath89 & 3.42 & 273 & 5.7 + u aql & 7.02 & @xmath90 & 0.35 & 0.70 & 5.26 & @xmath91 & 3.41 & 614 & 5.7 + rx cam & 7.91 & @xmath92 & 0.63 & 0.61 & 5.47 & @xmath93 & 3.44 & 714 & 5.8 + su cas & 2.74 & @xmath94 & 0.23 & 0.49 & 5.19 & @xmath95 & 2.97 & 375 & 4.2 + v659 cen & 5.62 & @xmath96 & 0.21 & 0.61 & 5.94 & @xmath93 & 3.29 & 752 & 5.2 + @xmath9 cep & 5.36 & @xmath97 & 0.09 & 0.57 & 3.68 & @xmath98 & 3.27 & 259 & 5.2 + ax cir & 5.27 & @xmath99 & 0.25 & 0.67 & 5.23 & @xmath100 & 3.28 & 525 & 5.2 + bp cir & 3.39 & @xmath101 & 0.32 & 0.51 & 6.60 & @xmath102 & 3.07 & 798 & 4.5 + su cyg & 3.84 & @xmath103 & 0.08 & 0.56 & 6.62 & @xmath104 & 3.13 & 855 & 4.7 + v1334 cyg & 4.74 & @xmath105 & 0.07 & 0.51 & 5.74 & @xmath102 & 3.21 & 631 & 4.9 + t mon & 27.02 & @xmath106 & 0.14 & 1.09 & 5.66 & @xmath107 & 4.10 & 1419 & 9.1 + s mus & 9.65 & @xmath108 & 0.21 & 0.69 & 5.47 & @xmath109 & 3.54 & 787 & 6.2 + s nor & 9.75 & @xmath110 & 0.19 & 0.77 & 5.77 & @xmath111 & 3.56 & 908 & 6.3 + aw per & 6.46 & @xmath112 & 0.53 & 0.57 & 5.72 & @xmath98 & 3.35 & 728 & 5.4 + w sgr & 7.59 & @xmath113 & 0.11 & 0.65 & 4.30 & @xmath114 & 3.43 & 409 & 5.8 + v350 sgr & 5.15 & @xmath115 & 0.32 & 0.55 & 6.41 & @xmath116 & 3.25 & 895 & 5.1 + v636 sco & 6.79 & @xmath117 & 0.20 & 0.73 & 5.96 & @xmath118 & 3.40 & 832 & 5.6 + t vul & 4.43 & @xmath119 & 0.06 & 0.64 & 5.41 & @xmath120 & 3.21 & 561 & 4.9 + | arxiv |
GONE BABY GONE
Written by
Ben Affleck & Aaron Stockard
Morning.
Clouds moving through the sky.
We see various shots of the city, exterior storefronts,
people going about their lives and some wider shots of the
city.
As they continue, the hour gets progressively later in the
day until the final sequence which takes place at night.
Over this we hear our guy, PATRICK (30).
PATRICK (V. 0 . )
To people who grow up here, this city is
like family. The thing about family,
about the city, about the church, about
the people you grow up with-- is that no
matter how much they hurt you, no matter
what the cost is, you still love them.
And despite all our flaws-- what we do to
each other-- what is done to us-- I've
always felt proprietary about it all.
Like the old commercial for dog food:
'doesn't your dog deserve to be treated
like a member of the family?' I've always
believed it depended on the dog. Beyond
that, the most I thought about anything
was what I wanted to do. Who I wanted to
be. To rise where my father said I
couldn't go, to succeed. To be a man.
EXT. MCCREADY THREE DECKER NIGHT
-
A playground at night, completely empty. One of the swings
drifts back and forth . . .
The back door to a home is open. A piece of light cuts across
the porch from inside . . .
Up the back stairwell another door is open, leading into an
apartment . . .
Down the hall, a third door opens to reveal a small, sparse
bedroom. A small mattress on the floor holds a dirty-faced
little girl asleep under her blanket . . .
Footsteps heard, quietly moving through the house . . .
A three foot gate hangs open. A car starts and pulls away.
We begin to hear the voice of Jack Doyle.
DOYLE
Amanda McCready was taken from her home
sometime between eight and eight thirty.
CUT TO:
INT. PATRICK AND ANGIE' S CAR - DAY
JACK DOYLE (60s) speaks at a press conference on a small,
PORTABLE TELEVISION with a 3x4 inch screen resting on the
dashboard of a car and plugged into the lighter outlet.
DOYLE
She is four years old, has blond hair and
green eyes, 35 pounds and about 3 and a
half feet tall. Amanda's mother says she
put her to bed in her B e a u t y and t h e
B e a s t nightgown . . .
Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro sit in the car watching
idly.
TV: A clip from an interview with Amanda's mother, HELENE
MCCREADY (29-39). She looks haggard and in desperate need of
sleep, if not a stint in detox. Standing beside her is her
brother LIONEL and sister-in-law BEATRICE, both of whom we
will come to know later.
HELENE (ON TV)
The thing is she just always had a smile
on her face, you know? That was her. She
was always smilin'.
(TEARS WELLING)
I mean, who would take my little girl?
What did she ever do to anyone?
PATRICK
Did you know her?
ANGIE
Vaguely.
(RE: TV)
This is horrible.
PATRICK
Not if you're channel nine.
ANGIE
That's Timmy Reilly. Is he a cop now?
A press conference with JACK DOYLE (68) comes on. Beneath his
image is written "JACK DOYLE, CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN."
DOYLE (ON TV)
I know the pain of losing a daughter --We
will pursue every avenue--
PATRICK
They can't be taking that many avenues.
The whole force is outside the house.
They are parked on a street in Dorchester lined with
residential apartments and storefronts.
A KNOCK on the windowsill startles them both. It's A
NEIGHBORHOOD GUY, BOBBY.
BOBBY
(winks, being funny )
Hey. How are you?
PATRICK
Good, Bobby. Nice to see you.
Bobby moves on down the street. She looks at Patrick.
ANGIE
This is why it's embarrassing to do
surveillance three blocks from where we
live.
Over Patrick and through the windshield we see A MAN AND A
WOMAN emerge from a MINT GREEN 3-DECKER.
PATRICK
There they go.
They kiss before parting ways. The MAN hops into a GREEN
LINCOLN while the WOMAN heads down the block, on foot.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
They' re splitting up.
ANGIE
Go with him. I'll follow the mother.
Angie jumps out and starts following the woman. Patrick pulls
slowly from the curb and trails the Lincoln.
ANGIE'S CAR, DRIVING - DAY (MOVING)
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick turns a corner on a residential street. Then another
one, keeping about a block between himself and the Lincoln.
EXT. DORCHESTER ST. CONTINUOUS
-
Suddenly, A TEN YEAR OLD KID darts in front of Patrick atop a
BMX bicycle. Patrick has to stop.
PATRICK
Get out of the way.
KID
Fuck your mother.
PATRICK
Move the Huffy before I slap your face.
Patrick waits for the kid to move. As he drives by he reaches
out to CUFF the kid, who eludes him.
KID
Missed me, faggot.
EXT. DORCHESTER AVENUE - MOMENTS LATER
Patrick pulls out onto Dot Ave. He looks around, doesn't see
the Lincoln. He goes left.
EXT. DOT AVE. - CONTINUOUS
Patrick drives a few cars behind the Lincoln. He can't cathc
UP -
EXT. DORCHESTER AVENUE - MOMENTS LATER
A car STOPS in front of Patrick. He tries to go around,
traffic is oncoming.
PATRICK
Fuck. Fuck.
The car moves. The Lincoln is long gone.
He pulls the car over.
He sees an ITALIAN MAN IN HIS SIXTIES looking at him from the
sidewalk (GERRY SPECA). The man sits in front of a VFW. They
trade looks.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
Fuck it.
Patrick dials his phone and puts it to his ear.
OPERATOR (OVER PHONE)
Nine one one, what's your emergency?
PATRICK
I want to report a drunk driver. I saw
him consuming alcohol in his front seat,
and he almost swiped an old lady.
OPERATOR (OVER PHONE)
What's the description?
PATRICK
(looking at paper)
1989 Green Lincoln Mercury LS.
Massachusetts Patriots bonus edition
license plate 357 bravo. 929.
OPERATOR (OVER PHONE)
Thank you sir.
PATRICK
Thank you. God bless.
Patrick reaches into the glove compartment and produces a
small device. He turns it on and sets it on the dash. By the
SCRATCHY VOICES and STACCATO CODE we realize it's a POLICE
SCANNER.
He waits. Cars roll by. Wipe. Shot outside car.
OMIT
OMIT
CUT TO:
EXT. DORCHESTER AVE. - MINUTES LATER
Patrick is in the car. Listening.
His phone rings. He answers it.
ANGIE (ON PHONE)
Where are you?
PATRICK
Dot Ave, where a r e you?
ANGIE
Nguyen' s n a i l s a l o n .
PATRICK
T h a t ' s where s h e went?
ANGIE
Yup. I ' m g e t t i n g my n a i l s d o n e . You s t i l l
with t h e father?
PATRICK
I l o s t him.
ANGIE
You d i d ?
SCANNER
L i n c o l n Mercury Cougar, n i n e t y e i g h t .
Broadway and L S t . F i e l d S o b r i e t y . . .
PATRICK
Whoops, t h e r e h e i s .
And h e p u l l s o u t .
SOUTH BOSTON - M M N S LATER
EXT. BROADWAY, O ET
On t h e s i d e o f t h e r o a d , s e v e r a l OFFICERS a d m i n i s t e r a FIELD
SOBRIETY TEST t o t h e MAN.
The Man i s u p s e t . He g e s t u r e s a t t h e P o l i c e .
P a t r i c k p u l l s up a c r o s s t h e s t r e e t , watching.
They l e t t h e man g o .
P a t r i c k e a s e s o u t a f t e r him. He W V S t o t h e c o p s , who s t a r e
AE
b a c k , n o t knowing him o r why h e i s waving.
EXT. OLD COLONY HOUSING DEVELOPMENT - DAY
From P a t r i c k ' s c a r , we s e e t h e F a t h e r g e t o u t o f h i s c a r and
head i n t h e door, h o l d i n g h i s b a d .
P a t r i c k w a t c h e s from a c r o s s t h e s t r e e t , i n h i s c a r .
He sees all the sweet-faced little kids, all dressed up in
the best clothes their parents could afford, running and
shrieking and playing kick-ball in a tiny play lot inside a
giant, ramshackle housing project.
The father emerges, BAGLESS.
EXT. OLD COLONY, PERKINS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - MOMENTS LATER
As Patrick walks past we dolly low alongside him and onto the
playground. He approaches the door the father came out of and
ENTERS
INT. BUILDING B. OLD COLONY - CONTINUOUS
Patrick comes in. There are a bunch of the ubiquitous MISSING
CHILDREN FLIERS on the ground. A door to a unit is ajar.
EXT. MAUREEN QUINN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Patrick eases the door open a bit. Patrick goes to his
haunches so as to stay out of sight at the opening. Through
the crack we see a man and a woman arguing.
A woman MAUREEN, Irish (34) is making breakfast. She calls
out to the next room.
MAUREEN
(CALLING OUT)
You want them eggs runnin' ?
TOMMY MEADE rolls into frame, bitching about his condition.
TOMMY
Yah. Where'd my father leave the bag?
She indicates.
MAUREEN
By the chair.
TOMMY
You know Cheryl Martin said Donna hired
missing persons investigators to find me?
MAUREEN
(FEEBLY)
...
You're not missin'
TOMMY
Fuckin' bullshit. I can't go back to my
own home to get my own clothes for fear
of gettin' my wages garnished to support
Mike Cuddehy' s fuckin' kids?
Patrick looks at the floor, the BAG the Father was carrying
has CLOTHES in it.
The KID comes to the opening in the door. He looks at
Patrick. Patrick holds a finger to his lips: shhh.
EXT TAFT ST. - DAY
Patrick parks and walks by various families.
PATRICK AND ANGIE'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY
INT.
Patrick looks at a paper. It's their ad.
PATRICK
"Dorchester' s best missing persons?"
That's terrible.
ANGIE
What's wrong with it?
PATRICK
It's like having world's tallest midget
as your slogan.
ANGIE
It's better than the old one.
PATRICK
You're just saying that cause the new one
has your name on it.
Patrick takes his gun out, wallet, puts them on the table.
ANGIE
At a certain point the person who books
half the business is entitled to her name
on the door.
(BEAT)
Speaking of which, how'd you get Tommy?
PATRICK
These people need to learn how to hide
better. Staying at your girlfriend's in
OC projects ain't slick.
(BEAT)
( MORE )
PATRICK (CONT'D)
And the reason you book half the business
is cause no one's trying to get in my
trousers.
ANGIE
Keep telling yourself that.
INT. PATRICK AND ANGIE'S BEDROOM NIGHT
-
Long, intimate improvised scene in their bedroom.
INT. PATRICK AND ANGIE'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - MORNING
Patrick walks down the hallway toward the kitchen.
PATRICK
Yo, you want some cereal?
ANGIE (O.S.)
I'm in the bathroom.
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Makes cereal. Walks out.
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Patrick walks by the door. He pushes on it. She BUMPS it
shut. He stands there for a minute, thinks of an
explanation.
PATRICK
I just wanted to see if you wanted some
food .
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Patrick comes into the living room, the television is on. He
puts the cereal down and starts eating.
JACK DOYLE (60s) speaks at a press conference.
DOYLE
She is four years old, has blond hair and
green eyes, 35 pounds and about 3 and a
half feet tall. Amanda's mother says she
put her to bed in her B e a u t y a n d t h e
B e a s t nightgown . . .
Patrick watches.
TV: A clip from an interview with Amanda's mother, HELENE
MCCREADY (29-39).
HELENE (ON TV)
The thing is she just always had a smile
on her face, you know? That was her.
She was always smilin'.
Angle enters.
HELENE (ON TV) (CONT7D)
(TEARS WELLING)
I mean, who would take my little girl?
What did she ever do to anyone?
ANGIE
Did you know her?
PATRICK
Vaguely.
ANGIE
This is horrible.
PATRICK
Not if you're Channel Nine.
She sits down to watch.
A press conference with JACK DOYLE (68) comes on. Beneath
his image is written "JACK DOYLE, CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN."
DOYLE
We will pursue every avenue.
PATRICK
They can't be taking that many avenues.
The whole force is outside the house.
TV: A STILL PHOTO OF AMANDA MCCREADY (4) occupies a corner of
the frame. She has dirty blonde hair and a shy smile.
NEWSCASTER
Her mother says Amanda may be carrying
Mirabelle, her favorite doll . . .
On TV the camera goes to BEA and LIONEL. Bea Speaks
BEA (ON TV)
Whoever you are, if you have her, just
give her back. We won't charge you. If
you're out there, just let her go!
ANGIE
Poor woman.
PATRICK
Look at these guys. Standing around
posing for the camera like they have a
purpose. That's why cops hate us. (MORE)
PATRICK (CONT'D)
Cause they know we do the same thing as
them without five years of jungle gym
Police academy.
Bell rings.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
Who's this?
CUT TO:
BEA MCCREADY' S FACE
ANGIE'S APT - MORNING
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick is standing in the doorway, looking at Beatrice and
Lionel McCready, not entirely sure what to say.
BEATRICE
My niece is missing.
INT. PATRICK AND ANGIE'S OFFICE DAY
-
Close on a hand picking clothes up off the couch in their
'officer-- which is basically their living room.
Now we get a good look at their guests, who are standing
politely.
BEA MCCREADY (mid 50s, matronly) we recognize from the TV
clip. She has a kind patience that has been tried by her
ordeal.
Her husband, LIONEL (mid 40s)' we remember as well. Lionel
is the kind of man who was once a hard drinker, a fighter and
a troublemaker. Now 'recovered,' he has been a husband,
provider and peacemaker for almost twenty years.
Angie is also trying to tidy the detritus of their morning
which lie strewn around their office, including a bra which
is behind the couch.
PATRICK
I heard about that on the news . . .Excuse
the mess. We just finished another
case. . .
ANGIE
I am so sorry, Mrs. McCready. I can't
imagine what this time must be like for
your family.
PATRICK
This is my associate, Angela Gennaro.
They all four stand there, not sure what comes next.
BEATRICE
We want to hire you to augment the police
with the investigation.
No one says anything.
LIONEL
Like Jean Benet Ramsey. The family hired
investigators.
PATRICK
Right. I remember that.
BEATRICE
The Police are nowhere, they're slow,
they keep us in the dark. We want our own
investigators.
ANGIE
I'm not sure we're who you're looking
for.
BEATRICE
Isn't that what you do? The ad in the
paper said 'missing persons.'
Tiniest of looks from Patrick to Angie.
PATRICK
What Angie is trying to say is: we
usually get hired to find people who
like, take off to New Hampshire without
payin' for their jet ski--
Bea looks up at Patrick, confused.
ANGIE
Every Police officer in Boston is looking
for your niece. This is something they're
qualified for.
BEA
What are you saying?
ANGIE
I'm not sure how much help we can be.
PATRICK
Hear her out, Ange.
BEA
You're not gonna do any harm, are you?
( shaking her head)
Why is this so hard? The cops sent one
man until I called the Herald and raised
Cain. The cops don't want me hirin' you.
Now you don't want the job?
PATRICK
It's not that we don't want the job.
BEA
Don't you know people in the
neighborhood? People who don't want to
talk to Police?
PATRICK
Yes. We do. Have the Police told you
anything so far?
BEA
If I hear they have "no leads" one more
time I'm gonna lose my marbles. I mean,
Helene was watching TV next door and
wasn't gone for more than a half hour.
LIONEL
She was watching "Wife Swap" downstairs.
(BEAT)
It's her favorite show.
PATRICK
Where's the father?
Beatrice snorts. Lionel shoots her a look.
LIONEL
Germany. Army base. He doesn't want
nothin' to do with Helene.
BEA
Or Amanda. He doesn't think she's his.
PATRICK
Is there anyone you know? An acquaintance
who could have taken her . . . a neighbor?
LIONEL
I don't know. You think she was
definitely taken though?
PATRICK
If she were lost I think they . . .
Bea may be coming unglued.
BEA
Couldn't she have fallen down a well or
something? Like in Texas?
PATRICK
That's not what we hope for.. .
Awkward moment.
ANGIE
How is Helene holding up?
LIONEL
She's trying.
BEA
Please, Lionel.
LIONEL
Look, it. I had my problems, hard bust at
22. Bea straightened me out. Helene
hasn't had that.
BEA
No, she has you. You find her work-- she
was our housekeeper for a year and a half-
(BEAT)
Look, come talk to Helene yourself. I
don't care if you think you can help.
Try. There must be something you can do.
She looks at them expectantly.
PATRICK
We'll meet you over there.
He throws Angie another small look.
BEA
We don't have a lot of money, but I saved
over the years. Don't think we can't
afford it.
Angie gives her a smile.
ANGIE'S CAR - LATER
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick and Angie are in their car. They pull to a stop,
looking at something off-camera right.
ANGIE
If a missing child isn't found in seventy
two hours they are almost never
recovered.
PATRICK
Pretty quick with the facts for someone
who's so unqualified.
ANGIE
I read that on the computer in two
minutes while you were getting dressed.
PATRICK
See that, you're already on the case.
ANGIE
We aren't needed, we canrt make a
difference and we can't take their money.
PATRICK
I don't want to take their money.
ANGIE
I don't want to find a child in a
dumpster.
PATRICK
Neither do I. I want to find one alive
who we can bring home.
ANGIE
We have a good life, Patrick.
PATRICK
This won't change that.
ANGIE
You go out in the rain, you get wet.
PATRICK
If it's a four year-old girl out there,
you go out and bring her back. We'll be
okay.
(SMILES)
It's just rain.
DAY
EXT HELENE'S APT. -
We might recognize it from the nighttime abduction sequence
except that now it's swarming with:
CAMERA TRUCKS, MEDIA TYPES and LOOKEY-LOOS.
This is a big shot full of REPORTERS, LOCALS, KIDS, A GUY
WITH A GRILL, AN ICE-CREAM TRUCK.
People mill around and converse. KIDS wave behind REPORTERS
heads, trying to get on camera.
We carry Patrick and Angie through with a Steadi-Cam as they
react to the circus.
A FIELD REPORTER does a stand-up, dressed formally to the
waist in a sports coat and tie but wears shorts below. He has
heavy pancake make-up on.
PATRICK
Block party.
EXT. HELENE'S APT - DAY
They reach the front porch.
One, OFFICER REILLY (from TV) stops Patrick as he comes in.
OFFICER REILLY
Friends of the family?
Patrick rolls his eyes.
PATRICK
Timrny. It's me.
Lionel is out on the porch.
LIONEL
It's okay. Come on in.
Patrick heads down the hall toward the kitchen but turns back
when he sees Angie going into the living room.
INT. HELENE'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM CONTINUOUS
-
Patrick and Angie enter the small two bedroom apartment. It
is crowded and crawling with police.
HELENE MCCREADY (in rough shape) sits wearing a "born to
shop" T-shirt. Her best friend DOTTIE sits next to her. They
are engrossed in a DAY-TIME TALK SHOW. Dottie wears a "Dot
Rat" T-shirt.
LIONEL
Helene, this is Patrick Kenzie and
Angela Gennaro.
The two women on the couch look over.
DOTTIE
I remember you.
Angie looks blank.
DOTTIE (CONT' D)
MRM high.
Angie offers a fake smile, half-recognition, polite.
DOTTIE (CONT' D)
I see you're still conceited.
LIONEL
Could you excuse us, Dottie?
HELENE
Dottie's my best friend, Lionel. She can
be in my house if she wants.
PATRICK
We just want to ask a few questions.
HELENE
She can be here for that.
PATRICK
(TO LIONEL)
It's fine.
DOTTIE
(TO HELENE)
Now everyone wants to be part of it.
HELENE
I know.
(TO ANGIE)
I already talked to the cops forty times.
ANGIE
We're sorry to take up your time.
PATRICK
Beatrice asked us to come here.
HELENE
- W h y don't Bea mind her business. It's
MY KID--
DOTTIE
'Cause everyone's tryin' to get their
moment now.
LIONEL
Bea hired these people to help find
Amanda with her own money. You better
show them the God damn courtesy they
deserve !
DOTTIE
She's in grief, prick.
LIONEL
She can grieve how she wants, Dottie. You
don't live here.
HELENE
Don't yell at her. You ain't her father!
DOTTIE
Fuck you, Lionel.
Lionel marches over toward Dottie. She scoots in a hurry.
DOTTIE (CONT'D)
Get away from me!
Dottie storms from the room. Patrick and Angie stand
uncomfortably in the hall.
LIONEL
I'm sorry.
ANGIE
Maybe we should go.
LIONEL
I'm sorry . . . I understand.
BEA (0.3.)
Can I speak with you for a minute?
PATRICK
Can you excuse us, Helene?
Helene ignores her.
INT. HELENE'S APARTMENT, HALLWAY/KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Bea stands at the far end of the hallway, distraught. She
holds a FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH in her hand.
LIONEL
Helene has emotional problems.
BEATRICE
It's not that, Lionel.
LIONEL
What is it, then?
What Bea says belies her matronly kindness.
BEATRICE
She's a cunt.
LIONEL
Beatrice! Don't say that word.
BEATRICE
God help me, it's true.
LIONEL
For God's sake, the walls are thin.
BEATRICE
I don't care anymore, Lionel. Let her
hear.
Bea hands Patrick the photograph of Amanda.
BEATRICE (CONT' D)
This is a child.
(beat, cracking)
And I don't know where she is.
Angie looks to Patrick.
ANGIE
(COMFORTING SMILE)
Well. We can't do any harm, right?
SAME LATER (KITCHEN)
-
The sink is FULL OF SHIT. Lionel tries getting out a cup for
coffee.
Patrick, Lionel, and Bea sit around the kitchen.
Angie makes her way around the kitchen, looking over the
environment. Shots of the mess that is Helene's apartment
(and a nod to our extraordinary set decorator.)
PATRICK
What about who she hangs out with? What
kind of people are around?
Bea looks to Lionel to answer this sort of thing.
LIONEL
I don't know. She's at the Fillmore all
the time.
PATRICK
(knows its reputation)
The Fillmore Lounge?
LIONEL
She drinks every day, she's got the gene.
The disease. Our parents had it, too.
PATRICK
She use drugs?
LIONEL
I think she does a little coke.
PATRICK
How much is a little?
LIONEL
I don't know . . . few times a week, maybe.
How much is a lot?
PATRICK
Few times a week is a lot.
LIONEL
Then she does a lot. I don't know
anything about that.
(TO PATRICK)
I put the plug in the jug, myself. I got
twenty three years sobriety.
There is a short beat before:
PATRICK
f o r lack of anything else)
Good for you.
ANGIE
What's Amanda like?
BEATRICE
She's quiet. Has her manners, please and
thank yous. She tries her hardest to be
good.
ANGIE
You mind if we look in her room?
INT AMANDA'S BEDROOM - DAY
Patrick and Angie stand just inside the door to Amanda's drab
little bedroom. The only furniture a TWIN-SIZED MATTRESS and
a CHEST OF DRAWERS. It's all third hand.
PATRICK
We get a bonus for finding the furniture?
Patrick looks over the dirtied walls, faded glowing stars,
stickers, a sad sight.
ANGIE
Maybe she ran away.
DOYLE (0.C.)
Solved it yet?
Patrick and Angie turn to the voice. Standing in the doorway
is JACK DOYLE, the police officer from the TV report.
PATRICK
Almost .
He extends his hand.
DOYLE
Jack Doyle.
PATRICK
(REACHING OUT)
Patrick Kenzie. Angela Gennaro.
DOYLE
Nice to meet you.
ANGIE
Good to meet you, Captain
DOYLE
I take it Bea hired you?
PATRICK
She wants to cover as much ground as she
can.
He looks them over.
ANGIE
I take it you didn't want us hired.
DOYLE
These people aren' t rich.
PATRICK
We understand that. This is about helping
in whatever way we can. Not about making
money.
DOYLE
Good. I don't care who finds her. I just
want it done.
ANGIE
We want that too, sir.
DOYLE
Fine. Keep us apprised.
PATRICK
Of course... is there any way we can see
what you're looking at so far?
DOYLE
(SMILES)
I'll put my two best men on it. Where can
they find you?
EXT FILLMORE LOUNGE DAY
-
The Fillmore Lounge is a dreary looking bar up an alley off
Dorchester Avenue.
Degenerate drinkers are now forced to go outside and smoke
under the noon day sun and the place's faux, stacked stone
facade .
INT FILLMORE LOUNGE - CONTINUOUS
And it's no more welcoming inside. Men come here to nurse
their drug habits, their alcoholism and their hate.
While you wouldn't think there were many clamoring to get
into their club, they don't look kindly on potential
applicants.
At one end of the bar, LENNY (mid 40' s) sips a whiskey and
studies the Keno results. In the rear, 4 ALCOHOLICS sit
around muttering to one another. And at one of the tables a
CAULIFLOWER FACED MAN drinks alone.
In addition there is a SMATTERING OF ROUGH LOOKING FACES.
The bartender BIG DAVE (hence the name) has a newspaper
spread out before him on the bar.
PATRICK
I'm not asking for the combination to the
safe here . . .
BIG DAVE
I got nothin' to say. I already talked to
the cops.
PATRICK
Look, Dave, right?
BIG DAVE
Big Dave.
PATRICK
Okay, "Big Dave." "Medium Patrick." Nice
to meet you.
BIG DAVE
You're a little light in the ass to be
talkin' shit .
Patrick puts his hands up.
PATRICK
I apologize.
BIG DAVE
Buy a drink or screw.
ANGIE
We'll have a couple of tonics.
Dave regards them for a beat, then moves off.
MALE VOICE (0. )
C.
Spuds McKenzie.
Patrick turns to find STEVE TSAFONIAS (30s), staring back at
him - - a dim, goofy smile across his face.
STEVE
Steve . . . Tsafonias.
(BEAT)
'Gyro?"
Patrick subtly looks to Angle.
PATRICK
Zeus! How you been?
INT. FILMORE LOUNGE, BOOTH LATER
-
We come off the face of a interesting man to see:
Patrick, Angie, and Steve sitting around a table sharing a
pitcher of beer.
STEVE
Oh, it's a real tragedy. She used to come
in here, sit up on the bar and shit . . .
She was like our mascot.
ANGIE
Helene brought Amanda in here?
STEVE
No, mostly in the afternoons. It's not
the place for a child at night.
ANGIE
Really?
STEVE
(lowers his voice)
Hot tempers. Lotta drugs.
PATRICK
How much does Helene come in?
STEVE
Like five nights a week.
(off their reaction)
She's a fuckin' coke head guys. Don't get
me wrong, you don't want that for no one.
But it's not a real shocker.
(pause. His voice almost a
whisper now. )
I seen her on the news saying how she was
at her neighbor's for a half hour?
Bullshit. She was in here snappin' lines
for two hours.
PATRICK
Are you sure it was the same night?
STEVE
Yeah, cause she was bumpin' rails in the
shitter with Ray. I was knockin' on the
door.
ANGIE
Ray Li kanski?
STEVE
He was duckin' me like a faggot 'cause he
owes me a dime. Then he owes everyone
money, I found out. Don't lend him no
MONEY--
LENNY (0. )
C.
Hey! What are you doing?!
Steve looks up. Lenny (Keno Guy) is out of his stool.
STEVE
(FRIGHTENED)
Nothing . . . what Lenny?
Lenny starts towards their table.
LENNY
Don't talk about people you don't know.
STEVE
I know them.
PATRICK
What's your problem, guy?
LENNY
You said you ain't a cop, right? Why
don' t you fuck off?
PATRICK
Why don't you mind your business.
Lenny moves to them.
LENNY
What are you doing here?
thumbs at Big Dave)
Dave can't make a martini.
PATRICK
We're trying to help Helene find her
daughter.
BIG DAVE
Kids go missing all the time. They always
show back up.
ANGIE
Why don't you mind your business?
Angle's comment stops Lenny.
LENNY
Oh, shit, Dave. She told you.
BIG DAVE
She wants to come in here and be a smart
ass?
PATRICK
Take it easy.
BIG DAVE
Don' t run your mouth like you're better
than me.
PATRICK
Just cool it, all right?
LENNY
'Cool it" Listen to this douche bag.
BIG DAVE
I bet she fucks this asshole in half.
AN ALCOHOLIC calls out to Lenny.
ALCOHOLIC #1
Ask her if she sucks cock.
LENNY
Ask her yourself.
The door outside is ajar. LENNY'S PAL pushes it CLOSED.
PATRICK
What the fuck is wrong with you?
LENNY
You know, I wouldn't mind seein' some
tit. Anyone else like tit?
ALCOHOLIC # 3
I like tuna.
ALCOHOLIC # 2
Show me your tunaaaa!
ANGIE
Shut the fuck up.
ALCOHOLIC #4
(mimes throwing his voice)
Twat steak!
ANGIE
Don't be stupid, Lenny.
ALCOHOLIC # 2
He's talking to his friends.
LENNY
Must be your good looks, Dave, bringin'
in all the new snatch. There's some good
lookin' pussy in here tonight.
The alcoholic men are laughing, egging one another on.
BIG DAVE
Lenny, think she wants to see your prick,
first.
Patrick reaches into his waistband and puts his hand on a
SMALL HOLSTER, revealing a 9mrn Kahr handgun.
PATRICK
No, Lenny. No one wants to see your
prick.
B I G DAVE
I do!
B i g Dave l a u g h s . A h i n t o f f e a r b e t r a y s Lenny.
LENNY
Dave.
PATRICK
Back u p .
ALCOHOLIC # 3
(SINGING)
' A l i t t l e b i t o f Monicer i n my l i f e . "
PATRICK
Open t h e d o o r , Rummy.
Lenny s m i l e s , s a v i n g f a c e w h i l e b a c k i n g down.
LENNY
Open t h e d o o r , Mike.
PATRICK
Quick.
M i k e s e e s t h e g u n . He SNAPS open t h e d o o r .
P a t r i c k and Angie have t o make t h e i r way p a s t Lenny t o g e t t o
the door.
ANGIE
Move.
LENNY
Now I r e a l l y want t o f u c k you.
P a t r i c k CRACKS Lenny i n t h e f a c e w i t h t h e gun, t a k i n g him o f f
g u a r d . Lenny f a l l s t o t h e f l o o r awkwardly. B e f o r e t h e r e s t o f
them make a move t o w a r d him, t h e y s e e h i s gun o u t .
PATRICK
You're t h e one a b o u t t o g e t f u c k e d , J a c k .
( b e a t , gun p o i n t e d a t Lenny)
Keep t a l k i n ' . Keep t a l k i n ' s h i t .
Lenny o p t s n o t t o k e e p t a l k i n g . P a t r i c k p o i n t s t h e gun a t B i g
Dave.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
(TO DAVE)
You got something to say now, too? Fat
Dave? Huh?.
BIG DAVE
All right. Get out
PATRICK
Fuck you, make me a martini.
ANGIE
Patrick, letfs go.
They move to the door.
EXT DORCHESTER AVE.- CONTINUOUS
Patrick and Angie emerge. They look to one another. Sounds of
laughter return inside. The guys appear to have gone right
back to their day.
Patrick tucks his gun away and looks to Angie.
PATRICK
You okay?
ANGIE
I'm fine. How's your hand.
PATRICK
It fuckinf stings.
He indicates his hand, there is some blood. He smiles. They
are a little rattled.
ANGIE
Thanks for that.
He smiles.
PATRICK
No problem.
OMIT
EXT PATRICK AND ANGIE'S 2ND STORY PORCH - SUNSET
Patrick and Angie look out over the neighborhood. Kids run
around. Adults watch them.
ANGIE
Helene was in there getting high--while
her kid was at home for two hours.
What kind of mother does that?
PATRICK
One who doesn't know better. A poor one.
An abused one. A damaged one.
ANGIE
A selfish one.
They look out over the kids running past.
PATRICK
Listen, you don't have to do this. I'm
fine. If you want to bow out-
ANGIE
Have you ever known me to bow out on
anything before?
PATRICK
No. But that was a scary thing.
Without looking at him.
ANGIE
Why? Because of those men? You think they
were gonna rape me?
She smiles at him.
PATRICK
They weren't gonna do that.
(BEAT)
They might ' got shot. But they weren't
A
gonna do that. . .
She looks up
ANGIE
They' re not what I'm afraid of, Patrick.
CUT TO:
EXT. DUDLEY SQUARE, ROXBURY - MORNING, ESTABLISHING
A big bus station. The place bustles with activity. Patrick
and Anqie walk through.
EXT. SILVER SLIPPER RESTAURANT - MORNING
Patrick and Angie walk by a MURAL painted on the side of the
restaurant, turn the corner and head into the diner.
OMIT
INT. SILVER SLIPPER DINER, ROXBURY - MORNING
Patrick and Angie enter to see TWO MEN seated in a booth.
REMY BRESSANT, (55) still very tough and wound very tight.
NICHOLAS POOLE (58) is chubby and affable -- the 'good cop'
when they do the routine.
Patrick and Angie approach them. Poole is finishing a joke.
BRESSANT
Can I help you?
PATRICK
Detective Bressant?
BRESSANT
That's right.
Slightly confused looks exchanged.
PATRICK
Patrick Kenzie. You just called me...
Bressant smiles, a little embarrassed. They get up and
introduce themselves.
BRESSANT
Oh, sorry. Detective Sgt. Remy Bressant.
POOLE
Shit.
(beat, rising to shake)
Detective Nick Raftopolous. Call me
Poole .
PATRICK
This is Angie Gennaro.
ANGIE
Is something wrong?
POOLE
(waves off concern)
No. No. I was just--
BRESSANT
We were expecting an . . . older couple, I
guess.
ANGIE
Life's full of surprises.
Poole stifles a small, good-natured laugh.
POOLE
(INDICATED BOOTH)
Have a seat.
INT. THE SILVER SLIPPER MOMENTS LATER
-
THREE MUG SHOTS slide across the table:
CORWIN EARLE: 30s; 5'10" and rail thin. His eyes bulge
POOLE
This is the lead we're working: Corwin
Earle.
BRESSANT
Serial molester, recently work-released.
Went AWOL around the time Amanda
disappeared.
POOLE
Known associates: Leon Trett and his
handsome wife Roberta. Apparently, The
three of them have some kind of Addams
Family thing goin' on.
LEON TRETT, 50s; mouse-faced and hostile.
ROBERTA TRETT, 50s; a frightening woman: 6 ' 330. She has the
'
shoulders of a bank vault and a thin goatee.
PATRICK
Jesus.
POOLE
The Trett's were released six, and eight
months ago respectively. They have drug
habits. We don't know where they are-but
we think Corwin' s with 'em. Jailhouse
snitch claims Corwin confided when he got
out he was going to move in with his
'family . '
BRESSANT
He was gonna find him a kid he could keep
in the house and have sex with.
PATRICK
Sounds promising.
BRESSANT
Not for Amanda it doesn't.
PATRICK
That's not what I meant
ANGIE
Is this who you think has Amanda?
POOLE
(FROWNING)
Well, they' re just suspects and there's
some holes in the theory. Corwin likes
boys. And he likes 'em seven to nine.
A pause.
PATRICK
(INNOCENTLY)
That's what you got? There are no other
suspects?
BRESSANT
(OFFENDED)
Yeah. That's it. A convicted finger
blaster who plans to keep a pre-teen at
the foot of his bed and just cut off his
ANKLE BRACELET--
POOLE
Take it easy, Remy--
BRESSANT
--Who the fuck is this guy? You're here
because Jack Doyle had us extend you a
courtesy. You got something to
contribute, be my guest. Otherwise go
back to your Harry Potter book.
PATRICK
I think you misunderstood my tone,
sergeant detective.
They gauge one another.
ANGIE
Isn't it usually someone who knows the
victim?
POOLE
I think Helene McCready has plenty of
people in her life capable of this.
PATRICK
I'm sure you've interviewed Ray Likanski.
POOLE
Who?
PATRICK
Ray Likanski. Skinny Ray?
(BEAT)
No?
BRESSANT
Never heard of him.
PATRICK
Well, with all due respect, we might be
able to contribute on that point--
POOLE
How' s that?
PATRICK
The night Amanda went missing Ray was
doing coke at the Fillmore Lounge for two
hours between eight and ten.
BRESSANT
Fascinating.
PATRICK
With Helene McCready.
Poole and Bressant are genuinely surprised by this.
POOLE
She did bullshit us...
BRESSANT
(TO POOLE)
We need to straighten her out.
ANGIE
Why would she lie about that?
POOLE
'Cause it's fucking embarrassing.
They go for their coats. Patrick takes the MUG SHOTS.
PATRICK
I'll just grab a copy.. .
As they stand, getting their things, Angie turns to Remy.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
What kind of name is Bressant?
BRESSANT
The kind they give you in Louisiana.
PATRICK
I thought you were from here.
BRESSANT
Depends on how you look at it. You might
think you're more 'from heref than I am,
for example-- but then again, I been
living here longer than you been alive.
(BEAT)
So who's right?
Patrick shakes his head.
PATRICK
I'll have to mull that over.
He takes the photos.
PATRICK ( CONT ' D)
We'll meet you over there.
CUT TO:
TRETT PHOTOS ROBERTA'S FACE
-
BUBBA (O.C.)
What the fuck makes you think I know
people like this?
INT. BUBBA'S LOFT - MOMENTS LATER
Reveal BUBBA ROGOWSKI. He is around 30 and hard. He has a
calm opacity which belies his strength. His loft is spare and
industrial.
PATRICK
I know you don't pay your rent doin'
peoplers taxes.
BUBBA
I don't do it sellin' penny rocks to wall-
eyed child molesters neither.
PATRICK
Just this one, Corwin Earle, is a
molester. He might be staying with the
other two baseheads. Just if you hear
somethin' .
BUBBA
What are you two? Crime dogs now?
PATRICK
We got hired to help find that little
girl.
BUBBA
Oh yeah? Good for you. What happened?
ANGIE
Turns out the mother was down the
Fillmore all night when her kid was
taken.
PATRICK
With Skinny Ray.
BUBBA
Fuck him.
PATRICK
I thought you were down with them.
BUBBA
With Ray? He works for the Haitian.
PATRICK
Ray works for Cheese?
BUBBA
(with a lack of regard)
Ray, Chris, Cheese, the whole trash
picker crew.. .
ANGIE
You ever sell to Helene?
BUBBA
There's reasons why there aren't three
inches of plexiglass between us right now-
-two of them being I don't deal with
coconuts like Cheese and skeezers like
Helene.
(beat, ruefully)
Because I'm the one-eyed man in the
kingdom of the fucking blind.
Bubba SLAPS his hand over one eye. Angie smiles. Patrick is
on his way out.
EXT. BUBBA'S LOFT - DAY
Patrick comes down the stairs with Angie behind. He is on the
cell phone, walking past the auto body shop.
PATRICK
(ON PHONE)
Detective, how well do you know Cheese
Jean Baptiste?
INT. HELENE'S APARTMENT - LATER
HELENE
Who?
Bressant and Poole question Helene who sits at the kitchen
table. Patrick, Angie, Bea and Lionel stand by.
POOLE
"Cheese" Jean Baptiste.
HELENE
It sounds familiar . . .
BRESSANT
It don't "sound familiar," Helene. He's
a violent, sociopathic, Haitian criminal
named "Cheese." Either you know him or
you don't.
LIONEL
Who is he?
BEATRICE
He's a drug lord or something, isn't he?
LIONEL
Who is he?
HELENE
He's just a guy, Lionel.. .
BRESSANT
Ask his homey here.
PATRICK
(taken off guard, what?)
He ain't my homey.
BRESSANT
Hard to keep track with you people.
Bea looks to Patrick, who shakes his head at Bressant.
POOLE
He is, among other things, a drug dealer,
Mrs. McCready.
LIONEL
What other things?
HELENE
I don' t know. . .
BEATRICE
Why don't you answer your brother's
questions, Helene?
HELENE
Why don't you go suck a nigger's dick,
Bea?
Lionel's FIST hits the table.
LIONEL
You listen to me. You don't insult my
wife! And you don't make racial remarks
in my kitchen. Who is this man?
POOLE
He's a drug dealer, a pimp, a
PORNOGRAPHER--
LIONEL
You associate with a pimp?
BEATRICE
A pornographer, Helene . . .
POOLE
And we think he rolled Pokey Jackson up
in a carpet and shot him in the head on
Castlegate.
(BEAT)
So there's that, too.
Bea canft fathom what shefs hearing.
BRESSANT
What do you do for him?
She sighs.
HELENE
I just mule.
(impresses upon them)
Occasionally, and not making a habit out
of it.
BEATRICE
Jesus, Mary & Joseph. What is that,
Lionel?
LIONEL
It means she's a drug runner. She carries
drugs. Isn't that right, Helene?
HELENE
A few times.
BRESSANT
Where?
HELENE
Providence . . . Does it matter?
LIONEL
For what?
HELENE
For fuckfs sake, Lionel. What do you
think? Money. A taste . . .
LIONEL
Of what, drugs?
HELENE
Yeas, Lionel.
BEATRICE
What kind of drugs?
HELENE
Yay, ron. . .
BEATRICE
What does that mean?
POOLE
Cocaine and heroin.
BEATRICE
No, we would have seen the tract marks--
BRESSANT
Not if you snort it, right sugar?
HELENE
Less addictive that way.
Helene gets up and gets a beer. It's 10:15 am.
INT. HELENE'S LIVING ROOM - LATER
The conversation has moved to the living room. The same
participants, but the collection of EMPTY BEER CANS
surrounding Helene suggest she's loosened up some.
Patrick peers out the WINDOW to see the CIRCUS below (POV)
BRESSANT
I don't know Helene. I keep thinking
about this thing I heard. You know where
I'm going with this?
HELENE
No.
BRESSANT
Did you know I used to work DCU?
HELENE
I give a fuck.
BRESSANT
Right. So, I still know some of those
guys real well. Anyway, I heard that
someone ripped Cheese off on a New
Hampshire run. You didn't hear that, did
you?
Angle on Patrick and Angie.
HELENE
No.
BRESSANT
Care to take a polygraph?
HELENE
(PROUDLY)
Already passed.
BRESSANT
Different questions this time.
POOLE
How much you take, Helene?
Nothing. Angle on Patrick.
POOLE (CONT'D)
It's all right. We don't care about
hopheads beatin' each other. We care
about your daughter.
(GENTLY)
Come on. How much?
A beat.
BRESSANT
You want Amanda back or not?
Silence in the room.
BRESSANT (CONT'D)
Do you give a fuck about your kid?
Another beat.
POOLE
We know you took the money. How much did
you take?
BRESSANT
rising, scary)
How much?
She takes a pull on her beer. Looks around. Fuck it.
HELENE
Ninety five.
The room goes quiet.
LIONEL
Hundred?
HELENE
rolls her eyes)
Thousand.
BEATRICE
Nintey five thousand dollars?!
HELENE
Yeas, Bea!
BRESSANT
Howrd you do it.
She exhales a long thread of smoke.
HELENE
Two weeks ago me and Ray did a run up
Nashua to drop four keys on some bikers.
When we was walking back through the
motel with the money, all these cops
swooped in and went for the bikers.
Amanda was with us so we pretended to be
like a family and they went right past
us. So we just-- got in the car and took
off.
BEATRICE
You took Amanda with you?
HELENE
What am I gonna do? Leave her in the car,
Bea?
BEATRICE
(shakes head, plainly)
You are an abomination. God as my
witness.
HELENE
(GETS 'EMOTIONALR)
You know what, Bea? It's hard bein' a
mother. It's hard raisinf children.
(beat, pointedly)
And if God made you barren then you
can' t judge me. 'Cause you wouldnrt
fuckin' know.
By Bears silence, and the narrowing of her eyes, we presume
this to be a low blow and that Bea can't have children.
BRESSANT
Hey.
(snaps fingers at Helene)
Right here. What happened?
Helene takes a pull from her beer.
HELENE
When we was driving back. Ray's like,
'everyone's gonna think the cops got the
money too.'
BRESSANT
You told Cheese the cops got it?
PATRICK
But you and Ray kept the money?
HELENE
This whole fuckin' thing is Ray' s fault.
Reactions to this realization.
POOLE
Where's the money now, Helene?
She looks at him.
BRESSANT
You want to find your daughter?
HELENE
Of course.
POOLE
Then you need to tell us. Where is it?
HELENE
With Ray.
BRESSANT
And where's Ray?
HELENE
Chelsea.
BEATRICE
Three days, Helene? You've known this?
And she could be alive?
BRESSANT
Let's go.
(INDICATES PATRICK)
She rides with you. I don't want her in
my car.
ANGIE'S CAR, CHELSEA - DAY (MOVING)
INT PATRICK &
Patrick drives. Angie rides shotgun. And Helene slumps in the
backseat.
They drive without saying anything. Helene looks up at
Patrick.
PATRICK
Helene, you went to St. Mark's?
HELENE
Yeah. Did you?
PATRICK
I was freshman when you were a senior.
You were with Scott Flaherty?
HELENE
Oh, him? He stabbed a foreign exchange
student in the chest. Got life. He's a
faggot now.
Beat.
PATRICK
Seemed like he was already a faggot in
high school.
She laughs.
HELENE
You're terrible.
She smiles,
PATRICK
How did the money end up with Ray in
Chelsea? I thought you went home after.
HELENE
We dropped off Amanda, went back to Ray's
then fuckin' retarded Ray left his rock
at my place-- right then I was like 'I'm
dropping this motherfucker, I don't care
if he does have a big dick' so we went
back to the apartment, he was, hollerin'
and gonna wake up Amanda, who needs her
sleep, so we went back to Ray' s. Ray' s
mother's, whatever. I don't know where
the mother is but she left all her
fuckin' cats and it smells like cock in
THERE--
PATRICK
Cheese never contacted you? They never
left a note?
HELENE
No. We never heard nothin' from them.
That' s why Ray said don' t say shit .
Patrick and Angie look back and forth.
ANGIE
You didn't think it was worth it, for
your daughter's sake, to tell people what
happened?
(BEAT)
Cheese has your kid right now. God
fuckin' knows what he's doing to her.
What do you think Amanda would give to
come home ?
HELENE
What am I gonna do? Call Cheese and be
like-- do you have my daughter? 'Cause I
ripped you off and I'm just checkin'?
Patrick says nothing.
HELENE (CONT' D)
(DEFENSIVE)
Am I gonna tell the cops "I run heroin in
case that' s irrelevance?"
PATRICK
The cops never asked you about Cheese
before?
HELENE
No.
PATRICK
What if Ray already spent the money?
A beat.
HELENE
Nigga, please. I hid it.
She rolls her eyes.
HELENE (CONT' D)
Pull over.
CUT TO:
INT RAY'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
All, save Helene, stare at something just off camera. Angie's
hand to her face. They register a beat of stunned silence
BROKEN BY :
BRESSANT
Christ. . .
ANGLE ON : RAY LIKANSKI ' S DEAD BODY.
He has been tied to a chair in his kitchen. Gunshots are what
killed him and the condition of his corpse suggests death
came as a relief.
There are FIFTEEN CATS wandering around the house, meowing.
BRESSANT (CONTFD)
They tortured him.
POOLE
Looks like he held out pretty long.
PATRICK
He didn' t have it.
POOLE
Huh?
PATRICK
He couldn't tell them where it was 'cause
he didn't know. Helene hid it.
Bressant chuckles.
BRESSANT
Ray made poor relationship choices.
PATRICK
(re: Ray's body)
Guess they didn't believe him.
POOLE
Poor prick.
HELENE (0.3.)
(ENTERING)
I'm not waitin' in the fuckin' car--
She sees Ray and holds her hand to her mouth. It's unclear
whether she is about to cry or vomit. Whichever it is, she
runs out into the backyard to do it.
Patrick goes after her.
EXT. RAY'S BACK YARD --MOMENTS LATER
Helene's make-up is a mess. Patrick stands next to her.
PATRICK
It's okay . . .
HELENE
I just want my daughter home with me.
PATRICK
Did Cheese know you were on the ride with
Ray?
HELENE
I think so.
PATRICK
Okay . . . Where's the money, Helene?
Poole and Bressant emerge from the house.
HELENE
Right here.
PATRICK
Where?
HELENE
I buried it when Ray was passed out.
EXT. RAY'S BACK YARD - LATER
CLOSE ON: A BAG IN A FRESHLY DUG HOLE IN THE DIRT.
POOLE
What was that book about 'everything you
need is in your own backyard?' It's a
French book.
He pulls a DUFFEL BAG from the ground. He opens it to reveal
NINETY FIVE THOUSAND IN CASH.
BRESSANT
That wasn't a book. It was a cartoon
Helene knows.
HELENE
Fuck you.
ANGIE
So, you bring in the FBI at this point?
BRESSANT
That's the worst thing we could do.
ANGIE
Why is that?
BRESSANT
'Cause I don't want Cheese to open a bag
full of newspaper and kill Amanda.
ANGIE
It ' s kidnapping.
BRESSANT
I don't see a note.
(turns To Poole)
You see a note?
POOLE
Nope.
BRESSANT
We're investigating a missing children's
case. Has nothing to do with kidnapping.
He turns to Patrick and Angie.
BRESSANT (CONT' D)
Fastest way Amanda gets home is we go to
him, swap the money for her and walk
away.
POOLE
So everyone keep their mouths shut.
(BEAT)
Helene.
HELENE
(to Patrick, looking for help)
Do you know Cheese?
PATRICK
When we were ten. He hardly spoke
English. His brother Jude was a sweet
kid.
(BEAT)
Cheese went another way.
HELENE
He wouldn't hurt her, right?
POOLE
(INDICATES HOUSE)
Ask Ray.
ANGIE
(TO HELENE)
You know how he got his name?
HELENE
No.
ANGIE
He moved here when I did. There was a lot
of tension between black American kids
and Haitians-and he got it the worst.He
had no running water at home. This one
girl was on him real hard 'cause he
smelled bad, calling him 'cheese.' All
of a sudden, he breaks a bottle, holds
her down, and carves the word Cheese in
her face. She lost an eye. Someone found
it on the sidewalk the next day.
PATRICK
And the name stuck.
ANGIE
But I'm sure Amanda will be fine.
BRESSANT
Just keep your mouth shut, okay? We can
get her back. It'll be fine. I have no
fear of this idiot.
HELENE
(TO BRESSANT)
You're gonna talk to him?
BRESSANT
That's the next step, yeah.
HELENE
Tell him I'm sorry. Tell him I apologize.
POOLE
Sorry goes a long way.
HELENE
(sniffles, remembering fondly)
She's a handful, that one. At least I
know she's giving them hell.
They react to this woman's feeble grip on reality.
PATRICK
What about Ray?
BRESSANT
You know what percentage of murders were
solved last year in Boston? Twenty nine.
Less in Chelsea.
POOLE
Take her home. We'll handle Chelsea.
They move to go.
HELENE
I'm hungry.
PATRICK
We' 11 get you some food.
HELENE
No, her. That's the last thing she said
to me before I put her to bed. She said,
'Ifm hungry." I mean, they fed her,
right? She's not still hungry?
PATRICK
I donft know.
EXT. HELENE'S APARTMENT - MAGIC HOUR
Angie waits in an idling car while Patrick walks Helene to
the door of her apartment.
W d o l l y w i t h them a s t h e y g e t o u t o f t h e c a r and c r o s s t h e
E
s t r e e t . A s we d o s o we p u s h i n . When we a r e t i g h t enough, we
r e v e a l Helene h a s s t a r t e d t o c r y .
HELENE
I know I f u c k e d u p .
(CRYING INTENSIFIES)
I want my d a u g h t e r b a c k . I s w e a r t o God
I ' 1 n e v e r u s e no d r u g s no more, I f 1
1 1
n e v e r go o u t , I ' 1 b e f u c k i n ' straight.
1
C r o s s my h e a r t .
PATRICK
I t ' s okay, w e ' l l f i n d h e r .
HELENE
Promise y o u ' l l g e t h e r back. P l e a s e .
PATRICK
1/11 t r y . I w i l l .
HELENE
You h a v e t o promise.
Patrick looks a t her.
PATRICK
I promise.
An i n t r e p i d FIELD REPORTER r e a l i z e s H e l e n e i s t h e r e and
t h r u s t s a MICROPHONE i n h e r f a c e .
INTREPID FIELD REPORTER
( FAUX CONCERN)
H e l e n e , w i t h t i m e r u n n i n g o u t on d a y
t h r e e , do you f e a r t h e w o r s t ? Most
c h i l d r e n missing t h i s long a r e k i l l e d .
PATRICK
( t o Helene)
Go i n s i d e .
Helene i s s c r a m b l e d , s h e makes h e r way u p t h e s t e p s . The
r e p o r t e r f o l l o w s . P a t r i c k p u t s h i s h a n d s on him.
PATRICK (CONT ' D )
Hey. Hey. Fuck o f f .
E X T . ROXBURY MEN'S CLUB ROOF- S N SETTING T NIGHT
U O
Wide a n g l e l e n s e s t a b l i s h i n g s h o t . Time l a p s e .
EXT. ROXBURY STREETS - NIGHT
Patrick and Angie roll through Roxbury, enjoying a few
withering glances directed at two white people in a late
model American car.
EXT . CHEESE' S APARTMENT, SHAWMUT AVE . ROXBURY - NIGHT
Patrick and Angie emerge from their car as Poole and Bressant
do the same. Poole lights a cigarette.
BRESSANT
Where do you think you're going?
PATRICK
To talk to Cheese.
POOLE
No you're not.
BRESSANT
Get back in your car.
PATRICK
That's a mistake. He'll never talk to a
badge. I know him. If there's a deal to
be brokered we're the ones who can do it.
BRESSANT
No. Me and Nick are handling this. This
is too important.
PATRICK
If you two go in, negotiate a ransom for
a girl, then it is kidnapping and that's
the FBI.
ANGIE
All you're gonna do is scare him and the
more scared he is the worse it is for
her.
The look at each other.
PATRICK
Do you want to get the kid back or not?
BRESSANT
I'm gonna take that as a rhetorical
question.
PATRICK
Sit fuckin' tight. We know him, he111
talk to us and we'll be right back.
CUT TO:
A PIPE BEING SMOKED. MARIJUANA BURNS
INT. CHEESE'S HOUSE, BACK ROOM - MINUTES LATER
CHEESE
Been a long time.
CHEESE JEAN BAPTISTE sits in frame. He is a wiry, intense man
who looks over Patrick and Angie suspiciously.
Along with Cheese, there are a MAN (CHRIS MULLEN, 30) and a
WOMAN (Cheese's Girlfriend, 22, from Laos) .
There are flat screen plasma TVs, piles of clothes and nearly
sixty boxes of sneakers against one wall.
Patrick and Angie sit opposite Cheese.
Cheese exhales. He gestures to his girlfriend.
CHEESE (CONT' D)
I'm a talk some private shit.
She starts to go. Chris remains.
CHEESE (CONT' D)
But don't get too far.
GIRL
You know I' 11 be right here.
He looks them over. He is languid but extremely intimidating.
CHEESE
Bitches love the cheddar.
Small laugh.
PATRICK
How you been, Chris?
CHRIS MULLEN
Better than you.
PATRICK
Good to hear it.
CHEESE
(TO CHRIS)
Be cool.
(BEAT)
Been too long not to see a fool. I give
you an audience.
(BEAT)
Go.
Patrick and Anqie exchange looks. He goes.
PATRICK
We found what you were lookin' for in
Chelsea.
CHEESE
What makes you think I am concerned with
the doings in Chelsea?
PATRICK
Cause I know one of the idiots who robbed
you lives there.
CHEESE
What idiot?
PATRICK
The one you just killed.
CHEESE
I don't know about nobody gettin' killed.
If someone robbed me and end up dead, you
know, life a ma' fucker.
He looks at Chris, they smile. Angie leans forward.
ANGIE
Cheese, I appreciate you're seeing us. I
know you're busy so we' 11 be quick.
(BEAT)
We have your money. It was buried in
Ray' s backyard.
(BEAT)
We want to give it back to you in
exchange for Amanda. The two police
outside are the only other people who
know. They're willing to risk their
careers to do this quietly and they've
sent us in here to demonstrate that.
They don't want to investigate you or
prosecute you for anything -- they just
want the girl back.
CHEESE
What you talkin' about? What girl?
ANGIE
(PATIENCE TRIED)
You know what girl. Cheese. Amanda
McCready. Who has nothing to do with
Helene stealing from you.
(BEAT)
Don't punish her for who her mother is.
(BEAT)
Tell us where to meet you, tell us what
your terms are and we'll do whatever
makes you comfortable. You'll get your
money and you made your point. Just give
us Amanda. Please.
Cheese seems confused.
PATRICK
Cheese, look at me. No one gives a fuck
what you did. I never even liked Ray.
You get the money. The girl goes home to
her mother we'll say we found her in the
bushes or whatever.
CHEESE
I donft know.
PATRICK
No. Don' t do this, bro. This isn' t the
time for that. This is where you take
the offer. It's either this real quiet
or it's ten thousand fuckin' cops kickin'
the door down and arresting everybody.
Cheese, very casually, takes a HANDGUN from out of his
waistband. He examines it.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
Yo, yo, what is this?
CHEESE
First of all, don't never come up in my
spot like that. You got my money? You can
leave that shit in the mailbox on you ass
way out. Feel me? Some other
motherfuckers let fools rob on 'em. I
don't play scrimmage-- but I don't fuck
with no kids--
Something occurs to Cheese.
CHEESE (CONT' D)
Hold up.
Cheese indicates Patrick's shirt with his pistol.
CHEESE (CONT' D)
Lift up yo shirt.
(BEAT)
What? You thought we was cool? I ain't
down with you. Don't l e t me see a wire . . .
A little taken aback, Patrick lifts his shirt up.
CHEESE (CONT'D)
(TO ANGIE)
You, too, baby. Show me them tetons.
From behind, we see her lift her shirt, exposing her bra.
Cheese seems satisfied.
He takes another whack at the pipe.
CHEESE (CONT' D)
I know one "McCready." Kept a bitch in
my stable by that name. No titties,
fucked up shit goin' on with the face--
But you give her the right shit she get
freaky. Bounce up and down on yo shit.
Pop! Pop! Go t h e w e a s e l .
He goes back for the pipe, seems to lose his concentration.
Patrick unsnaps his holster, subtly.
PATRICK
If you point a gun at her again I'm gonna
pull your fuckin' card, okay?
(BEAT)
You' re saying you didn't do it? Okay.
What other choice do I have? We'll take
your money and go along our way.
(BEAT)
But If I find out you' re lying, I'll
spend every nickel of your money
dedicated to fuckin' you up. I'll bribe
cops to go after you, I'll pays guys to
go after your crew, I'll tell everyone I
know that you're a C.I. and a rat -- and
I know a lot of people. Cheese. After
that, you're gonna wished you had
listened to me.
(MORE)
PATRICK (CONT'D)
'Cause your shitty pool-hall crime
syndicate headquarters will be raided,
your doped up bitches will get sent back
to Laos and this dumb mutherfucker
(RE: CHRIS)
will be testifying against you for a
reduced sentence while you end up in a
cell with a big motherfucker, his dick
and your Zippo 'cause from what I heard,
guys who kill kids aren't treated too
good in Concord. But maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe things are different these days.
CHEESE
Don't never speak to me that way.
(HE SMILES)
You ain't shit. Yo bitch ain't shit.
Neither one of y'all motherfuckers is
shit. Fuck both ya' 11. If you didn't have
two pig out in my meadow--! put a round
in both your heads right now.
Cheese's eyes narrow, his pupils like black pinpricks in his
irises.
CHEESE (CONT' D)
And if that girl only hope is you. I pray
for her. She is gone, baby. Gone.
He laughs.
CHEESE (CONT' D)
Out. And if I see you on the street, I'm
a get discourteous on you.
They get up.
CHEESE (CONT'D)
And get this sausage off my lawn.
He indicates Poole and Bressant who can be see through the
window, smoking on a small patch of dirt outside the
apartment.
EXT. CHEESE'S APARTMENT, SHAWMUT AVE. ROXBURY - MOMENTS LATER52
Patrick and Anqie approach Poole and Bressant. Patrick shakes
his head.
POOLE
What happened?
ANGIE
He said he didn't know anything but if we
had his money we could leave it in the
mailbox.
BRESSANT
Is that what he told you?
PATRICK
Yeah, that's it.
POOLE
He said nothing else?
PATRICK
He wants you off his fuckin' lawn.
POOLE
I thought you knew the guy.
BRESSANT
Half the guys he grew up with are
degenerates.
PATRICK
You know what the other half are?
BRESSANT
What?
PATRICK
Cops. But don't hold it against me.
BRESSANT
Nah. You know what I hold against you? We
had one chance to make this deal. You
said you knew him, you said you could do
it and you fucked it up. Now we have to
get a warrant for a tap, start
surveillance and hope to Christ we get
lucky. If that costs Amanda her life, I
won't have to hold it against you.
You'll hold it against yourself for a
good, long time.
ANGIE'S APT - NIGHT
INT PATRICK &
Patrick and Angie in their bedroom. It's late and they can't
sleep. A LOCAL NEWS REPEAT runs on the television woven into
their dialogue. In effect, it will play like background.
ANGIE
Look, the Police taking over isn't
necessarily a bad thing.
PATRICK
No?
ANGIE
They see more child exploitation in a
week than we could in a career...
PATRICK
Makes you want to have kids.
This gets Angle's attention. She looks at him.
ANGIE
Does it make you not want to?
Patrick drinks his beer.
PATRICK
There's a political party in Holland that
openly advocates pedophelia and won seats
in parliament. In America four hundred
thousand kids get abused every year.
There are half a million convicted,
registered sex offenders, two-thirds of
them for molesting children under
fourteen, there are a hundred thousand
child porn web sites. They busted one in
texas had seventy thousand members--
people who gave their credit cards . . .
There's a group, the 'Rene Guyon'
society, whose motto is 'sex before eight
or it's too late.' There's a rise in the
victimization of 'pre-verbal' children,
for the obvious reason that they can't
report their accusers. One in five
American girls is sexually abused or
victimized before they turn eighteen. But
only one third of those every tells
anyone in their lifetime that they were
abused.
She gives him a look: 'oh, really?'
PATRICK ( CONT ' D)
I read that in two minutes on the
computer while you were taking a shower.
ANGIE
And that tells you you don't want
children.
PATRICK
It tells me there aren't enough gas
chambers.
A beat.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
I' d love to have a kid.
ANGIE
Yeah?
PATRICK
I'm just not sure a kid would love to be
here.
She looks sympathetic.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
I don't want to be the guy who fucked
this up.
INT. PATRICK ANGIE'S APARTMENT, BEDROOM -MORNING
&
Patrick is asleep. Angle is on the far side of the bed.
The phone rings.
ANGIE
Yeah?
BRESSANT
Guess you did something right.
ANGIE
What ?
BRESSANT
Cheese came around. Called in and said he
wants to make a drop. Said he left
something in your mailbox.
ANGIE
Really?
BRESSANT
Well, you're gonna have to check the
mailbox yourself, but yeah.
ANGIE
Great.
BRESSANT
It is and it isn't. They tape calls
coming into the station now.
ANGIE
What does that mean?
BRESSANT
It means Jack heard about it, he wants
you down here and he's fuckin' pissed.
ANGIE'S APT - MORNING
EXT. PATRICK &
They walk out the front door and, sure enough, there is an
ENVELOPE in the mailbox. But what gets their attention is
that jammed into the box, along with the letter is AMANDA'S
BLANKET.
Patrick takes it out, hands it to Angie. They react.
INT. BOSTON POLICE DEPARTMENT BUILDING DAY
-
Patrick and Angie follow Devin down the hall.
PATRICK
What are you doing here?
DEVIN
When the boss wants you met, he only
sends the best.
ANGIE
Or when he wants you brought up the back
way.
Devin smiles.
DEVIN
That, too.
They walk through an area with cells in it that looks
medieval. They move through another door into a small control
room.
Then they walk into a lobby.
He comes to a stop at Doyle's SECRETARY'S DESK.
His SECRETARY, RENE ( 3 0 , attractive) seems to know Devin.
DEVIN (CONT'D)
(re: Doyle's ofice)
He in there?
She nods.
RENE
Yeah he said just let 'em in.
DEVIN
That's what he said?
She doesn't answer. Devin turns to Patrick and Angie.
DEVIN (CONT'D)
Good luck.
He starts back. They turn to the door and ENTER.
INT. DOYLE'S OFFICE - DAY
Patrick and Angie fail at entering unobtrusively. Poole and
Bressant are being lectured by Captain Jack Doyle.
Doyle turns his attention (for the first time) to Patrick and
Angie.
DOYLE
(to Patrick and Angie)
You're late.
Doyle picks up a paper TRANSCRIPT and hands it to Patrick.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
This is the transcript of a call that was
recorded coming into the station this
morning. Care to read the highlighted
portion?
Patrick reads.
PATRICK
Caller: Bitch you better have my money.
Patrick looks up. The room is quite. He continues:
PATRICK (CONT' D)
Detective Bressant: Who is this? Caller:
You know who the fuck this is, fool
(Creole curse words)- If you want that
girl back you need to meet me up Quincy
tonight. Fuck around for a minute and I
throw that girl in the lake.
DOYLE
The "lake" he refers to is the water in
the abandoned quarry.
He refers to the transcript.
DOYLE (CONT' D)
Detective Bressant goes on to make an
unauthorized ransom arrangement to
exchange Amanda McCready for a hundred
and thirty thousand dollars, tonight in
just that location.
A moment of quiet. Doyle gestures toward Bressant.
DOYLE ( CONT ' D )
After some discussion, Detective Bressant
was kind enough to produce this:
He indicates the bag of money on his desk.
DOYLE (CONT' D)
Look familiar?
Patrick and Angle offer a guilty plea by their silence.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
Seeing as you two made the initial
CONTACT--
ANGIE
Captain, we were concerned for the safety
OF--
DOYLE
I understand what your concern was. My
concern, interestingly, is also for the
well being of that child. And now that
concern has been elevated because of the
risky and ill-advised course of action
you people have taken.
(BEAT)
(MORE)
DOYLE (CONT' D)
The four of you have made me party to an
illegal activity without my knowledge or
consent and I don't fucking appreciate
it.
BRESSANT
You don't have to be party to it, sir . . .
DOYLE
The hell I don't. If I delay this now,
after this agreement, it would only
further endanger the life of this girl.
Does that sound like something you expect
me to do?
PATRICK
I'll accept responsibility for--
DOYLE
You' 11 accept-- Don' t come in here and
get noble with me. Responsibility is
earned. You can't take something you
have no shoulder for.
He gathers his composure.
DOYLE (CONT' D)
Let me see the note.
Patrick produces the note and the blanket.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
Good God.
CUT TO:
INT. TACTICAL BRIEFING ROOM - MINUTES LATER
Remy and Nick stand with Patrick and Angie going over the
RANSOM MAP which is tacked to the wall. Next to it are a
geographical survey of the quarry and a street map of the
surrounding area.
BRESSANT
They want to separate us.
He points to diverging paths on the map.
BRESSANT (CONT'D)
The note instructs you two to wait here
on the south side for Amanda and Nick and
I to be at the clearing by the edge with
the money.
( MORE )
BRESSANT (CONT'D)
(BEAT)
Once Amanda is turned over to you at your
position, call us on the radio and we'll
turn over the cash.
Doyle, having been observing, interjects.
DOYLE
This man won't come alone. Who is he
likely to bring?
PATRICK
Chris Mullen was in the apartment when we
made the offer.
DOYLE
What do you know about him?
PATRICK
Well, it was probably him that killed Ray
for Cheese. If I had to guess.
POOLE
He didn't ask you what you guessed. He
asked you what do you know.
PATRICK
I know he's a six foot, thirty year old,
caucasian heroin addict. And I know it
was him, not Cheese, who rolled up Pokey
Jackson and shot him in the head.
(BEAT)
So there's that, too.
Remy is the voice of reason today.
BRESSANT
I think we're all set here, Captain.
DOYLE
No one else knows about this, correct?
Angie has a concern.
ANGIE
I just wonder.. .
DOYLE
(turns to ask: )
Yes?
ANGIE
Are we rationalizing this? I mean,
wouldn't a hundred police up there be
better for her than the four of us?
Doyle stops.
DOYLE
What does that mean?
ANGIE
I'm asking if keeping this quiet is
better for Amanda, or is it better for
us?
Doyle is opaque.
DOYLE
Do you have any children, Miss Gennaro?
She shakes her head.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
Then you've never lost one. My only child
was murdered. She was twelve. You heard
about it?
The question is rhetorical.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
What you didn't hear, what you don' t
know, is what that feels like.
There are articles on the wall. COP FATHER OF SLAIN CHILD
VOWS: NEVER AGAIN.
DOYLE ( CONT' D)
What I live with? Is knowing my daughter
likely died crying out for me to protect
her, to come save her.
(BEAT)
And that I never came.
(BEAT)
She died afraid and alone, in a shallow
ditch bank, a few feet from the road and
not ten minutes from our house.
Silence.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
I know what it is- to lose my child.
He now gets more upset than he usually does delivering this
speech.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
God damn it.
(BEAT)
You force my hand and then question the
way I handle to it? Question me?
BRESSANT
(TO ANGIE)
No one's questioning you.
He relaxes a little.
DOYLE
I honor my daughter with this, this
division, so no parent has to live what
I've known . . .Not even a woman like Helene
McCready .
(BEAT)
THAT GIRL--
(indicates photo of Amanda)
is all I care about. And we're going to
bring her home.
EXT. AERIAL ESTABLISHING QUINCY QUARRY - SUNSET
From the sky, lit by the last slivers of light from a setting
sun, we see the Quincy quarry. It has become, in essence, a
huge lake, set a hundred or so feet into a rock quarry and
surrounded by acres of dense pine. As we travel past the
quarry, we see PATRICK'S CAR IN A PARKING LOT.
SUN JUST SET
EXT. QUARRY PARKING LOT -
The car idles. Patrick and Angie sit inside.
ANGIE
Why is he bringing us all the way up
here?
PATRICK
Dark, big, make sure he can get away.
ANGIE
No. Something's wrong.
PATRICK
All he wants is the money. He just
doesn't want to get arrested doing it.
ANGIE
They're gonna kill her. I can feel it.
He looks out the window.
EXT QUARRY TRAIL - NIGHT
Angie, Patrick, Bressant, & Poole follow up a steep incline.
Remy has the BAG OF MONEY.
POOLE
This asshole could have picked somewhere
on level ground.
BRESSANT
Keep the lights off for now.
ANGIE
Is this where all the peak rocks have
names?
PATRICK
(listing the names of the
PEAKS )
Running Tierny, Leo, Dan, Gooch, Jigger,
Goreski and runnin' Mike.
POOLE
Where'd they get those fuckin' names?
PATRICK
From the kids who died tryin' to jump off
em..
EXT. QUARRY TRAIL - MOMENTS LATER
More climbing. It starts to get steep. Some stones come loose
underfoot and trickle downhill. We see that the quarry rocks
are covered in the graffiti left by previous visitors.
They walk in silence.
EXT QUARRY TOP - NIGHT - MOMENTS LATER
They CREST the hill. The city lights are behind them and we
move to reveal the QUARRY WATER below and the edge before
them.
The path forks in two, opposite directions.
BRES SANT
(to Patrick & Angie)
This is where we part ways
POOLE
(SMILES)
Divide and conquer.
( CONT ' D)
POOLE
Be careful.
ANGIE
You be careful.
BRESSANT
Call us on the radio when you have her.
PATRICK
We will.
Bressant cranes his neck. A nervous tick. Finally:
BRESSANT
Fuck it.
And with that, he and Poole turn and head into the darkness.
- MOMENTS LATER
PATH
Patrick & Angie are on a steep incline. The vast openness of
the quarry looms on their right.
They climb still higher, finally arriving at 'rooftop.'
Patrick looks around. The view is breathtaking, but that
isn't it. It doesn't make sense.
PATRICK
How are they gonna get Amanda to us up
HERE--
A SPLASH IN THE WATER breaks the silence--
GUNFIRE and TWO MUZZLES FLASH on the opposite side.
Staccato voices come across the radio punctuated by gunfire.
POOLE ( WALKIE )
Remy, Watch out!
BRESSANT (WALKIE)
I HEARD A SPLASH!
Patrick and Angie take off running toward the gunfire.
-
EXT. QUARRY TRAIL CONTINUOUS
Patrick and Angie come flying down the trail, skittering and
falling. At one point Patrick comes perilously close to the
edge but rights himself. Their flashlights come on, bobbing
up and down frantically as they make their way back to Poole
and Bressant at a full on sprint. They can hear Poole and
Bressant out loud now, without the walkies.
POOLE (O.S.)
SOMETHING WENT IN!
BRESSANT (0.S)
NICKY WATCH OUT!
(BEAT)
THERE HE GOES!
More shots.
EXT. QUARRY, CLEARING CLIFF - MOMENTS LATER
Patrick and Angie run down the trail and approach a clearing.
POOLE AND BRESSANT are near its edge, chests heaving, and
frantically looking down into the quarry.
Patrick TRIPS and goes flying, nearly LANDING on CHEESE'S
BODY, shot dead.
ANGIE
Where did she fall!?
Patrick gets up and runs to the quarry edge.
POOLE
We heard it, too.
BRESSANT
First thing I saw was something went in.
ANGIE
Where is she?!
PATRICK
What happened?
BRESSANT
We got one, the other took off.
Patrick and Angie scour the water with their flashlights.
PATRICK
Right there!
SOMETHING IN THE WATER. A flash of something flesh-colored.
The minute she sees it, Angie SAILS OUT OVER THE CLIFF AND
INTO THE WATER.
His flashlight finds ANGIE SWIMMING DETERMINEDLY toward
something. He scans and sees what she's after: AMANDA'S DOLL
FLOATING IN THE WATER.
POOLE
Jesus.
She DIVES beneath the surface . . .
And finally emerges near the edge of the lake. She grabs hold
of an outcropping. In her other hand she holds AMANDA'S DOLL,
MIRABELLE .
We move in on Angie, clutching the nightgown and the doll --
shivering in the frigid, black water.
DISSOLVE :
INT. ANGIErS HOSPITAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Angie is in bed watching a news report, her leg bandaged from
being slashed open on the rocks.
Before Patrick enters we move in a long lens, near macro shot
along Angie, beginning on darkness, then onto her bandaged
leg, across the arm with an IV in it, stained by iodine and
resting on her face.
PATRICK
Is your leg alright?
ANGIE
It will be. You hear anything?
PATRICK
Cops found no one up there. Shocker. I
guess as soon as they had the money,
someone shot Cheese and another guy came
out shootin'. They must have tossed her
in.
ANGIE
Why?
PATRICK
I don't know. She saw their faces. For
some people that's enough.
ANGIE
But you and me could recognize Chris.
PATRICK
Remy said the other two kids were black.
So it wasn't Chris.
ANGIE
Have they found her?
PATRICK
No, but they got divers up there now,
so.. .
ANGIE
Then she could be alive. She could be
hiding. She could be stuck . . .
PATRICK
Yeah but, the one cop told me that two
years ago some guy killed his wife and
dumped her in there-- the divers found
the body . . .but it was so dark they lost
it and then they could never find it
again. There's so many crags and
outcroppings and old cars and shit.
(BEAT)
So don't get your hopes up.
He sees she is crying.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
Oh, hey. It's okay. I know.
She bends over, more emotional pain than physical. She curls
her knee up to her chin, holds her abdomen, in obvious pain.
Patrick climbs into bed with her, wraps her in his arms.
ANGIE
I'm sorry. . . I'm sorry. .
PATRICK
Don' t say that.
ANGIE
I'm sorry.. .
PATRICK
It's okay.
We creep back slowly as the news plays.
DOYLE (ON TV)
. . . every
effort to recover her remains so
the McCready family can have a proper
burial. However this quarry is extremely
deep and treacherous. All too often she
keeps that which she takes in . . .
They cut back to the Anchor desk.
ANCHOR (ON TV)
Well, a sad end to that story, Susanne.
SUSANNE (ON TV)
Yes it is, Phil.
ANCHOR (ON TV)
Ron is next with Sports. The Bruins in
action tonight?
RON (ON TV)
Yes, they are, Phil. The B f s took a crack
at the Flyers tonight and the rough stuff
started in the first perio--
DISSOLVE
0.
PATRICK (V. )
And like that. She was gone.
PASSAGE OF TIME SEQUENCE. MUSIC OVER.
ANGIE'S APT - NIGHT
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick gets a beer out of the refrigerator.
PATRICK (V. 0. )
I tried to catch my balance, but the
world kept turning forward.
ANGIE'S APT - NIGHT
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick in the living room. The only light is the television.
ON TV: A MUG SHOT OF CHRIS MULLEN.
PATRICK (V. )
0.
Chris' run lasted a day and a half until,
from what they could tell, he ran into
someone else who wanted the money even
more than he did.
NEWSCASTER # 2
A Dorchester man was gunned down today . . .
FIELD REPORTER # 7
In the third Dorchester slaying in as
many days, 29 year old Chris Mullen was
gunned down in an apparent robbery. The
Police Commissioner defended the rising
tide of crime as a statistical abberation
tied to growing umemployment and the
humidity of an unusually sweltering
summer month.
INT. SAME - LATER
Patrick lies on the couch, heavy. The coffee table is piled
high with empty beer cans.
PATRICK (V. )
0.
You couldn't turn on the television
without another kid gone and feared
whatever. Another horror story.
NEWSCASTER (ON TV)
Missing for four days and Shrewsbury is
gripped with fear. After Jimmy Pietro's
disappearance, doors are locked and
community watch patrols are being formed--
INT. BOSTON POLICE DEPARTMENT BUILDING, 4TH DISTRICT - DAY
Boxes are being piled and a photo of Doyle is among them.
NEWSCASTER # 3
A chief under fire. The legendary captain
of a unit dedicated to children stepped
down today in the aftermath of
controversy.
ROAD - DAY
EXT. TOWNSEND
Doyle's 'summer cottage.' He pulls up in a Suburban and gets
out of the car. The first time we see him in plain-clothes he
looks humbled.
INT. FATHER'S FOUR BAR - MONTAGE
Bressant and Poole drink with Patrick
PATRICK
It's bullshit. He was trying to save her
life.
POOLE
They don't see it that way.
PATRICK
Can he fight it?
BRESSANT
When you gamble, you don't put money on
the table if you're gonna cry about
losing it.
PATRICK
What did he get?
BRESSANT
The dignity of early retirement-- and the
humiliation of half a pension.
PATRICK
What about you guys?
POOLE
You don't have to call Remy 'sergeant'
detective anymore.
BRESSANT
Hey look, it's patrolman Raftopolous-
They laugh.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR BASEMENT MONTAGE
-
The small room is full of people at a wake for Amanda. Helene
sits up front with Lionel, Bea, and Dottie. Patrick and Angie
stand near the rear.
PATRICK (V. )
0.
There were others who didn't share their
gifts for stoicism.
A small mounted photo of Amanda sits in an empty and
impossibly small casket. Helene starts to rock back and
forth, then lets it go-- a fountain of grief and a future of
unending pain.
PATRICK (V. ) (CONT'D)
0.
They called off the search and issued
Helene a death certificate. She elected
to have a memorial service with a child's
casket there as a symbol. The guilt,
shame and agony inside Helene, finally
found their way out.
Helene opens her mouth with a cry, too painful for sound.
ANGIE'S APT, BATHROOM - MONTAGE
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick comes in, Angie is in the bathtub
PATRICK
Hey.
Angie doesn't say anything.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
I'm sorry.
ANGIE
It's not your fault.
PATRICK
Yeah it is. I wanted to do this.
ANGIE
I did, too.
PATRICK
I'm sorry this happened to us.
(BEAT)
I want it back like it was.
ANGIE
It' s okay.
( TRYING)
It' s just rain.
ANGIE'S APT - NIGHT
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick comes home. Closes the front door. He moves down the
HALLWAY.
PATRICK (V. )
0.
And when she didn't think I was home, or
if she thought I couldn't hear, she would
cry.
The bathroom door is closed but a sliver of light and a
shadow can be seen in the crack below.
NEWSCASTER # 2 (O.S.)
A missing boy, a bicycle, left roadside.
A tire left spinning. Wanda?
INT LIVE BOOTLEG HAPPY HOUR
-
The news plays on a TV behind the bar.
PATRICK (V. 0. )
I did the only thing that seemed to help.
I drank . . . And for a few hours the world
would go quiet and I could breathe.
Patrick sits at the bar with Bubba.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
I don't know. It just seems a little gay
to have a couch like that
BUBBA
Who are you, fuckinf Martha Stewart?
PATRICK
Do you even know who that is?
BUBBA
I know she was in the can.
He gets up, swallows the last og his beer.
BUBBA (CONT' D)
I need you to come on a ride with me.
PATRICK
Where?
BUBBA
Everett.
Beat.
PATRICK
Why the fuck you want to go up Everett
for? No parties in Lynn?
BUBBA
Something I want you to see
PATRICK
You already took me to the Portuguese
strip bar in Lynn. That place was tired.
BUBBA
You got your toast?
PATRICK
My what?
BUBBA
Your gun, dummy.
EXT. ROUTE 1A - SUNSET, MAGIC HOUR
Bubba's Navigator, full chrome package cruises down the
parkway.
INT. BUBBA'S NAVIGATOR CONTINUOUS
-
Bubba and Patrick ride silently. Patrick drinks a BEER.
EXT. EVERETT STREET DUSK
-
This used to be a neighborhood where families lived and
worked in factories nearby. The factories are long gone and
the families with them. All that remains are the ghosts of
their homes, derelict and near abandoned for decades.
They are ringed sparsely by the kind of industrial facilities
self-respecting neighborhoods won't permit.
The Navigator pulls up outside a particularly decrepit house.
INT. BUBBA'S NAVIGATOR - CONTINUOUS
Bubba takes a Beretta from beneath his seat. He checks the
clip. Patrick gives him a look.
BUBBA
Calm down. I'm doing you a favor.
PATRICK
You are?
BUBBA
You were lookin' for someone. I found 'em
for you.
PATRICK
The case is over.
BUBBA
You d o n ' t c a r e a b o u t t h a t Corwin E a r l e
dude n o more?
T h i s i s a g e n u i n e q u e s t i o n . Bubba went o u t o f h i s way t o h e l p
P a t r i c k and now f e e l s a l i t t l e h u r t .
BUBBA (CONT ' D )
'Cause t h e f a t b i t c h and t h e o l d d u d e a r e
i n t h e r e . M man d i d n ' t know a b o u t t h e
Y
diddler.
(BEAT)
Watch my s i d e a n d w e ' l l r o l l u p on t h i s
f o o l and s e e i f t h a t m o t h e r f u c k e r ' s i n
there.
(BEAT)
But b e r e a d y . W m i g h t have t o g e t down
E
a n d I d o n ' t want t o s e e you g e t k i l l e d .
PATRICK
(GETTING OUT)
L e t ' s go.
He l o o k s a t P a t r i c k . P a t r i c k o p e n s t h e d o o r .
EXT. EVERETT STREET - CONTINUOUS
Bubba and P a t r i c k walk up t h e s t e p s . Bubba pounds h i s f i s t on
the door.
Two b o l t s u n l o c k w i t h a SHARP SNAP and t h e d o o r c r a c k s o p e n .
P e e r i n g t h r o u g h t h e n a r r o w o p e n i n g i s LEON TRETT.
LEON
Jerome M i l l e r ?
BUBBA
No, i t ' s t h e c o k e f a i r y . Open u p .
LEON
I g o t t h e money r i g h t h e r e .
BUBBA
Marmaduke. You t h i n k y o u ' r e gonna hand me
money on a p o r c h ? Open t h e f u c k i n ' d o o r .
A b e a t . The d o o r SNAPS o p e n . They h e a d i n .
LEON
( r e: P a t r i c k )
Who's h e ?
BUBBA
He' s your father
(moving him aside)
Look out.
LEON TRETT
Okay, chill.
INT TRETT HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Bubba and Patrick step inside. It's a dirty, grim place.
They follow Leon down a hallway and through several rooms.
Music comes from upstairs.
BUBBA
You guys startin' a band?
INT KITCHEN - LATER
Bubba throws Leon a small "taste bag." Leon tosses Bubba a
KNOT OF MONEY. Leon promptly empties the bag and snorts it
from atop his closed fist. Bubba sighs at the mess of money
he' s been given.
BUBBA
Organizational skills are poor.
ROBERTA TRETT, a LARGE and UNATTRACTIVE woman appears.
ROBERTA
I told you to call me when it got here.
LEON
It just got here.
ROBERTA
You already did some.
LEON
I did two l i n e s . That was the taste bag.
Leon gives Patrick a look: Women.
Roberta POPS Leon in the face. He holds his hand to his face
ROBERTA
That's for gettin' wise.
LEON
I said I'm sorry.
Roberta takes the bag and snorts some from her pinky nail.
BUBBA
(gives Patrick money)
Patrick, count this . . . fuckin' mess.
Bubba starts walking around.
LEON
Where's the rest?
Bubba looks into the next room.
BUBBA
(OFFHAND)
Soon as he's finished counting.
Roberta and Leon exchange a look.
PATRICK
A hundred. One fifty . . .
ROBERTA
Mr. Miller. Do you mind?
BUBBA
No. I don't mind.
He walks past them and looks into the back.
ROBERTA
Excuse me.
BUBBA
I said I donrt mind.
Patrick is still counting.
PATRICK
Four eighty . . .
Leon nervously fingers a little martial arts knife.
LEON TRETT
Please donrt poke around, sir.
BUBBA
Relax.
ROBERTA
Excuse me.
Bubba keeps going, moving toward the back of the house.
LEON TRETT
Where t h e f u c k you t h i n k y o u ' r e g o i n g ?
Bubba i s h e a d i n g t o w a r d t h e s t a i r s .
ROBERTA
Excuse me!
He k e e p s g o i n g b a c k .
ROBERTA (CONT ' D )
M i s t e r M i l l e r , I ' m warning y o u .
Leon and R o b e r t a f o l l o w him b a c k t o t h e s t a i r s . Bubba l o o k s
up and b e g i n s t o a s c e n d when:
ROBERTA ( CONT ' D )
Stop!
T h i s i s a d i f f e r e n t t o n e . He l o o k s u p . She i s h o l d i n g a
c r a p p y l i t t l e REVOLVER. They have a b e a t .
BUBBA
(DEADPAN)
Patrick, shoot t h i s bitch.
She t u r n s t o s e e PATRICK s t a n d i n g b e h i n d h e r , h o l d i n g h i s
gun. He h a s d r o p p e d t h e money on t h e f l o o r .
Bubba l o o k s r i g h t i n h e r f a c e .
BUBBA ( CONT ' D )
You f a t , b u s t e d c u n t . You p u t a gun on
me, you b e t t e r f u c k i n ' u s e i t .
A beat.
BUBBA (CONT ' D )
You d o n ' t want t o s h o o t h e r , Patrick?
She r u n s o u t o f o p t i o n s .
ROBERTA
J u s t give us t h e fuckin' wizza.
BUBBA
What t h e f u c k i s a ' w i z z a ? '
Bubba h e a r s s o m e t h i n g a t t h e t o p o f t h e s t a i r s .
BUBBA ( CONT ' D )
Who's t h i s ?
Corwin E a r l e h a s c r e p t i n t o t h e room and i s p e r c h e d a t t h e
t o p o f t h e s t a i r s . He w e a r s a SILVER C H A I N AND MEDALLION
around h i s w r i s t .
ROBERTA
Corwin, go b a c k t o y o u r room.
He s l i n k s o f f . Bubba and P a t r i c k t r a d e l o o k s .
ROBERTA ( CONT ' D )
Give u s what we p a i d f o r .
Bubba t h i n k s .
BUBBA
How much money was t h a t , P a t r i c k ?
PATRICK
A thousand.
Bubba r e a c h e s i n t o h i s p o c k e t and p u l l s o u t a b a g . He EMPTIES
I T ON THE H L W Y FLOOR.
AL A
BUBBA
T h e r e you go, l a d y .
He s t a r t s o u t . P a t r i c k moves t o f o l l o w .
BUBBA (CONT ' D )
( t o Patrick)
Where you g o i n ' ? P i c k up t h e money.
BOOM. A TRUNK OPENS AS WE CUT T THE NEXT SCENE
O
EXT. TRETT HOUSE - MINUTES LATER
POOLE and BRESSANT who r i f l e t h r o u g h t h e i r t r u n k , p u t t i n g on
v e s t s and r e a d y i n g t h e i r weapons.
PATRICK
T h e r e ' s a t l e a s t two guns i n t h e h o u s e .
R o b e r t a ' s c a r r y i n g h e r s on h e r .
BRESSANT
What e l s e ?
PATRICK
They're d e f i n i t e l y high.
BRESSANT
On w h a t ?
PATRICK
Cocaine.
BRESSANT
(WINKS)
That what your 'friend' told ya?
POOLE
SWAT will be here in five minutes.
PATRICK
You're not gonna wait for them?
BRESSANT
(TO PATRICK)
Did you or did you not tell me that you
saw Corwin Earle with the medallion of
St. Christopher on his fucking wrist?
PATRICK
I think it was a medallion.
(BEAT)
It was definitely Corwin Earle.
BRESSANT
We' re not waiting.
Poole cocks the shotgun. Bressant picks up the radio in his
car.
POOLE
Stay here. Don't fuck around.
BRESSANT
(rapid fire cop speak)
290, German Road. Suspect 1860 moving in
now. Possible captive in danger.
Bressant throws the radio on his seat and starts for the
house. As he goes, he turns back to Patrick.
BRESSANT (CONT' D)
(GENUINE)
Nice job.
As they reach the sidewalk out front, Bressant cuts across
the yard toward the side of the house. Poole heads for the
front door.
Bressant does a ONE ARM COCK of the shotgun before
disappearing from Patrick's sight.
EXT. TRETT HOUSE CONTINUOUS
-
Poole rings the buzzer and steps back..
SHOTS FIRE THROUGH THE DOOR and clip into Poole. It seems
almost too clumsy to be real. He falls over, holding his
neck.
A moment of STUNNED SILENCE, then:
Patrick runs from the car. Staying low, he races for the
cover of the FRONT YARD OF THE HOUSE.
BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG
Patrick TRIPS taking cover and is splayed across the muddy
grass, looks over his shoulder.
Patrick reaches Poole and lies on top of him. He messily
checks for a pulse, gets smeared with blood.
Poole is torn up. Several rounds hit where the vest wasn't,
including his neck. He grunts. Patrick fumbles for his cell
phone.
PATRICK
There's an officer shot. Shots fired. An
officer down at
(he looks up at the door)
Two-nine-zero German St.
Patrick hears shots from inside. He leaves his phone by Poole
and heads inside.
HOWLING can be heard from within.
INT TRETT HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The foyer floor is spattered with blood. He cautiously moves
forward.
Into a completely bare room. He moves to the hallway.
Just inside the hall a BODY lies motionless on its stomach.
Patrick inches through the door, crouches next to the body,
and cranes his head. It's Leon Trett: DEAD.
Patrick momentarily pauses to examine Leon.
BOOM
A GUNSHOT explodes and a SLUG rips into the wall above
Patrick's head, showering him in plaster.
Looking up, he sees Roberta Trett at the far end of the hall
gripping her revolver.
BOOM BOOM, two more shots bury into the wall.
ROBERTA
(ENRAGED)
GET AWAY FROM HIM! GET AWAY FROM LEON!
She CHARGES. Patrick whips open a door opposite the one he
just came through and leaps out of the hallway . . .
And TRIPS up a staircase SMACKING HIS FACE against the
--
wood. . .
Roberta FIRES UP AT HIM. He scrambles up the stairs and
crashes his body against a STEEL DOOR at the top. It flies
open and he tumbles through.
INT. CORWIN'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Patrick spins over and kicks the door closed. He springs to
his feet, throws his body against the door, and locks it with
the heavy DEAD BOLT on the POLICE DOOR.
WHAM. Roberta slams into the other side of the door with
everything she's got. She does it again, WHAM. And again,
WHAM. But the door holds. Patrick turns to survey his
surroundings.
Patrick moves to ANOTHER ROOM outfitted with a COFFEE TABLE
piled high with empty beer cans, a frayed COUCH, a small TV.
The room connects to a small BEDROOM. Patrick steps toward.
A SOILED, BARE MATTRESS lies in one corner.
Patrick steps in, his gun raised . . .
And finds himself staring directly into the face of:
CORWIN EARLE.
Crouched on the floor, naked from the waist down and wearing
a half-shirt. His stare is bug-eyed & frightened.
Corwin stares at Patrick, scared.
PATRICK
Don' t move.
CORWIN EARLE
It was an accident.
He looks up at Patrick like a whipped dog, eyes shifting
nervously to the door.
Patrick cautiously pushes open the door to the bathroom.
He looks in the sink. There are bloody children's underwear
soaking.
Then Patrick looks in the BATHTUB.
BLACK.
And sees, curled in the fetal position, SAMUEL PIETRO,
gagged, bound and suffocated. His bluish face frozen in a
scream.
BLACK.
The blood rushes from Patrick's head. He retches violently.
BLACK
Close on Corwin, really scared. Really sorry.
CORWIN EARLE (CONT' D)
I didn't mean to.
BLACK.
He stands over Corwin Earle and pulls back on the trigger. It
takes longer and requires more strength than he thought it
would to fire.
BANG
Patrick FIRES A ROUND into Corwin Earle's head.
BLACK.
INT TRETT HOUSE MOMENTS LATER
-
Patrick stands in the threshold of the police door staring at
the mammoth corpse of Roberta Trett, which lies at the bottom
of the stairwell. Bressant stands over her. He looks up at
Patrick.
BLACK.
EXT. TRETT HOUSE - NIGHT
Patrick stands with officers who take his statement.
BLACK.
A tiny BLACK BODY BAG is wheeled past Patrick on a gurney.
BLACK.
INT HOSPITAL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Patrick walks a BRIGHT SHADOW-LESS CORRIDOR.
&
INT. I.C.U. NIGHT
-
Patrick approaches the room where Poole is buried in tubes
and surrounded by family. His wife and two daughters look up
at Patrick.
BLACK.
NIGHT
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY -
Patrick stands, looking out a window into black. We hold his
face and it's reflection in the glass: a two shot.
In the reflection, we see Angle come up behind Patrick and
put her arms around him. We dolly over to make them a 2-shot.
ANGIE
Hey. . .
She puts her hand up to his face, the side of his head.
ANGIE (CONT' D)
Are you okay?
He looks out through the glass.
PATRICK
No.
She looks at him. Feels him.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
(BEAT)
Nick got shot.
ANGIE
I h e a r d . How i s h e ?
PATRICK
He's i n w i t h h i s f a m i l y .
ANGIE
You found t h e boy?
PATRICK
I g o t wet t o d a y .
ANGIE
I know.
(BEAT)
I ' m p r o u d o f you.
P a t r i c k l o o k s a t h e r , s u r p r i s e d by t h i s .
A N G I E (CONT' D)
T h a t man k i l l e d a c h i l d . He had no r i g h t
t o live.
P a t r i c k t u r n s around t o f a c e h e r .
PATRICK
You're p r o u d o f me?
ANGIE
Of c o u r s e I am.
(BEAT)
You d i d what you had t o d o . Now l e t ' s go
home .
PATRICK
I need t o s t a y h e r e f o r a w h i l e .
ANGIE
Why?
PATRICK
Go home. I ' l l b e back t h e r e soon.
ANGIE
Are you s u r e ?
PATRICK
Yeah.
(BEAT)
I want t o be h e r e now.
He nods, l o o k i n g b a c k o f f i n t h e d i r e c t i o n o f t h e window.
ANGIE
Okay. I'll be at home.
EXT HOSPITAL - LATER
Patrick exits the front door of the Hospital and walks toward
Remy, drinking from a bottle in a paper bag, who looks up at
Patrick.
BRESSANT
It's fucked up, right?
PATRICK
They tell you anything about Nick?
BRESSANT
They say he could be okay. I don't know.
Bressant hands Patrick the bottle. Patrick sits down next to
him. There is a beat. He drinks.
PATRICK
How old did they say the kid was?
BRESSANT
Seven.
PATRICK
Second grade.
BRESSANT
You should be proud of yourself. Most men
would have stayed outside.
PATRICK
It doesn't matter.
BRESSANT
( KNOWING)
Yes it does.
PATRICK
I had a priest who always said, "shame is
God's voice telling us where we did
wrong. "
BRESSANT
Fuck him, you did good.
PATRICK
Murder is a sin.
BRESSANT
Depends on who you do it to.
PATRICK
(QUIET MATTER-OF-FACT)
It don't work like that. It is what it
is.
Bressant sees Patrick is struggling.
BRESSANT
I planted evidence on a guy once.
(BEAT)
We got a call from our pal Ray Likanski.
Back in '95 we were paying a hundred an
eight ball to snitches. He couldn't find
enough guys to rat out. Anyway, he tells
us there's a guy pumpin' out of an
apartment in Colombia point. Me and Nick
go in-- this was fifteen years ago; when
Nicky went in, it was no joke.
(BEAT)
So it's a stash house, the old lady is
beat to shit and the husband is mean,
cracked out, tries to give us trouble.
Nick takes him down. We' re doin' an
inventory but it looks like we missed it
cause there's no dope in the house. I go
in the back room, now this place was a
shit-hole, mind you, rats and roaches all
over the place, but the kid's room in the
back is spotless. He swept it, mopped it.
Immaculate. The kid is sitting there,
holding on to his Playstation for dear
life, no expression, tears streaming down
his face. He wants to tell me how he just
learned his multiplication tables.
PATRICK
Jesus.
BRESSANT
The father has the kid living in a crack
den, subsisting on twinkles and ass-
whippings and the kid is still asking me,
"is my daddy all right?"
(BEAT)
You're worried about what's Christian?
Kids forgive, they don't judge, they turn
the other cheek.
(MORE)
BRESSANT (CONT' D)
What do they get for it?
(BEAT)
I went back out and put an ounce of
heroin on the living room floor. Sent the
father on a ride. Seven to nine.
PATRICK
Think you did the right thing?
BRESSANT
I don't give a fuck. You take a side.
You beat a child, you molest a child, you
hurt a child -- you ain't on my side.
And hope you don't run into me because I
will lay you the fuck down. Easy.
PATRICK
Doesn' t feel easy.
BRESSANT
Look, was he better off without the
father? Yes. But okay, the kid might be
out there, pumpin7 with a gun in his
waistband. It's a war. Are we winning?
No.
(beat, shift)
Look, I got a great wife, money saved,
hit my 30 in three months, pick up that
pension and hail a fucking cab. Go down
TO FLORIDA--
PATRICK
'Cause a bad day in Florida--
BRESSANT
--Better than a good day anywhere else.
They share a small laugh,
BRESSANT (CONT'D)
Would you do it again? Clip Corwin Earle?
PATRICK
No.
BRESSANT
Does that make you right?
PATRICK
I donft know.
BRESSANT
Don't make you wrong t h o u g h , d o e s i t ?
He l a u g h s . T a k e s a d r i n k .
BRESSANT (CONT ' D )
When I s t a r t e d h e r e a n o l d e r c o p t o l d me:
D y o u r b e s t , l i v e w i t h y o u r r e g r e t s and
O
d i e w i t h your s e c r e t s .
(BEAT)
It's a l l I got.
PATRICK
Maybe t h a t ' s a l l you n e e d .
(RISING)
I ' m g o i n g home.
( s e r i o u s about Nick)
I f 1 s a y a p r a y e r f o r him.
1
Remy g i v e s P a t r i c k a s m i l e .
BRESSANT
Okay.
(BEAT)
You g e t t o F l o r i d a , P a t r i c k , l o o k me u p .
P a t r i c k moves o f f i n t o t h e n i g h t .
PATRICK
I w i l l . Take c a r e , Remy.
I N T PATRICK & ANGIErS APT, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
P a t r i c k comes i n . Angie i s s i t t i n g on t h e c o u c h , i n t h e d a r k .
P a t r i c k s t o p s when h e r e a l i z e s s h e i s t h e r e .
ANGIE
love.
Hi,
PATRICK
(DISTRACTED)
Hi.
ANGIE
Howr s Remy?
P a t r i c k t a k e s a second.
PATRICK
He l i e d t o me.
INT. PATRICK ANGIE'S APT, KITCHEN
&
Patrick is up now, mind going.
PATRICK
Ray. Before he said he never heard of
him. Now he says they go back.
ANGIE
Ray Li kanski?
PATRICK
Yeah. In Roxbury he tried to tell us he
never heard of him, now tonight he said
he been snitchin' for him for fifteen
years.
ANGIE
Patrick.
PATRICK
This motherfucker lied to us about the
reason Amanda disappeared--
ANGIE
--Patrick.
PATRICK
What?
ANGIE
Let it go.
PATRICK
Let what go?
ANGIE
I don't care about Remy. I don't care if
he's crooked. We don't need any more of
this. It's enough.
PATRICK
After what we been through? You want me
to 'let it go?'
ANGIE
Yes.
PATRICK
Something has to be wrong. He lied to me.
What we've been through we deserve to
know the truth.
She looks at him.
ANGIE
Why? Why is it important? Amanda's dead-
fuck the rest of them. Crooked, liars, I
don' t care.
PATRICK
What do you want?
ANGIE
I want this never to have happened.
PATRICK
Me, too.
She turns and goes into the bedroom.
ANGIE'S APT - DAY
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick slept out on the couch. Angie wakes him, whispering.
ANGIE
Babe, Nick died.
- DAY
EXT. MOUNT AUBURN CEMETERY
Patrick & Angie are among the crowd of MOURNERS. There are a
number of WHITE GLOVED POLICE OFFICERS-- indicating this is
Poolers funeral.
Everyone is heading UPHILL toward the grave site. An OLDER
OFFICER approaches Patrick and Angie. He extends his hand to
Patrick.
OLDER OFFICER
Mr. Kenzie.
(BEAT)
Nice fuckinr job on Corwin Earle.
EXT. MOUNT AUBURN CEMETERY, POND AREA - MOMENTS LATER
Separated by a small POND, Patrick and Bressant exchange
looks. Patrick is with Angie and Remy with his YOUNGER WIFE.
As the roads meet, Patrick comes up behind Bressant.
PATRICK
I was thinking about what we talked about
other night.
BRESSANT
( l o o k i n g away)
I s a i d some t h i n g s I s h o u l d n ' t h a v e . Too
much rum.
PATRICK
(OFFHAND)
L i k e what?
BRESSANT
We're n o t h a v i n g t h i s c o n v e r s a t i o n .
F o r g e t t h e o t h e r n i g h t and w e ' r e o k a y .
A careful beat. P a t r i c k l o o k s him i n t h e e y e s .
PATRICK
What i f I d o n ' t ?
BRESSANT
( m a t t e r of f a c t )
T h a t ' s n o t a n " i f " you want t o b r i n g i n t o
your l i f e .
EXT. BURIAL SITE - CONTINUOUS
their grief still
POOLE'S FAMILY h u d d l e s n e a r t h e c a s k e t - -
h e a v y . B r e s s a n t i s among them.
The BOSTON POLICE BAG PIPERS p l a y t h e i r e l e g i a c r e q u i e m .
EXT. CEMETERY - LATER THAT DAY
The body h a s b e e n i n t e r r e d and t h e m o u r n e r s a r e h e a d i n g b a c k
t o their cars.
They s e e Devin b r e a k i n g o f f from a n o t h e r g r o u p of c o p s .
EXT. CEMETERY - CONTINUOUS
P a t r i c k a p p r o a c h e s Devin.
PATRICK
Can I t a l k t o you?
DEVIN
Yeah.
PATRICK
Not h e r e .
DEVIN
Then y o u ' r e gonna have t o buy me l u n c h .
PATRICK
A l l r i g h t . How a b o u t Leos?
DEVIN
No, come on now. I s t i l l work u n d e r c o v e r .
I c a n ' t be s e e n w i t h you where a s u b j e c t
m i g h t walk i n .
PATRICK
How a b o u t t h e C h a r t House? I d o u b t any
d e a l e r s w i l l be r o l l i n ' i n t h e r e .
DEVIN
Sounds r i g h t .
Patrick r o l l s h i s eyes.
PATRICK
I ' l l b r i n g my w a l l e t .
DEVIN
J u s t b r i n g your l a d y .
PATRICK
Not a c o n v e r s a t i o n s h e ' s i n t e r e s t e d i n
having.
INT. CHART HOUSE RESTAURANT - DAY
P a t r i c k and Devin a r e a t a back t a b l e . T h e i r f o o d h a s m o s t l y
b e e n e a t e n . Devin f i n i s h e s a s t e a k .
DEVIN
No c o p a t e t h i s w e l l s i n c e t h e y h a d t o
disband vice.
PATRICK
What'd t h e y do t h a t f o r ?
DEVIN
I t was a t t h e p o i n t where some g u y s owned
.
YACHTS
Patrick smiles.
PATRICK
You worked n a r c o t i c s w i t h Remy, r i g h t ?
DEVIN
They c a l l i t DCU. Yeah.
PATRICK
Whyfd he leave?
DEVIN
Did shit that rubbed people the wrong
way.
PATRICK
Like what?
DEVIN
Married a prostitute, for one.
PATRICK
He married a hooker?
DEVIN
You don't want to do that if you're a
cop.
PATRICK
You might not want to do it if you're a
plumber.
DEV IN
Said he loved her. Told Mike Snell to
fuck himself, put in for a transfer.
PATRICK
To Doyle.
DEVIN
They go back.
PATRICK
Doyle and Remy?
DEVIN
Doyle.brought Remy with him from
Louisiana in '72. My man Doyle rolled
into Boston as a black cop and then
married a white woman in '74.
(BEAT)
He's no joke.
PATRICK
I got that impression.
(BEAT)
You have any reason to think Remy might
BE DIRTY
Devin looks up at him, now unsure what this is about.
DEVIN
No.
PATRICK
I know h e p l a n t e d e v i d e n c e once--
Devin l o o k s a t him, a n eyebrow r a i s e d .
DEVIN
Oh, you do?
He l a u g h s a l i t t l e .
D E V I N (CONT ' D )
(SMILES)
Look. CSI i s k i l l i n g u s . Now a l l t h e s e
j u r i e s want t o know i s where t h e
microfibers a r e . C e r t a i n people a r e
w o r k e r s . They d o n ' t want t o p l a n t n o t h i n '
but.. .
PATRICK
They don' t mind i t ?
DEVIN
(SMILES)
I f n e e d b e ? Nah, t h e y d o n ' t mind i t .
PATRICK
But o t h e r p e o p l e d i d ?
DEVIN
Some p e o p l e d i d b u t Remy g o t s h i t d o n e ,
made a r r e s t s .
He s t u d i e s P a t r i c k .
D E V I N (CONT' D )
What d o you want t o f u c k w i t h him f o r ?
PATRICK
He l i e d t o me. And from what I b e e n
t h r o u g h w i t h him- h e owes me t h e t r u t h .
(BEAT)
And I c a n ' t t h i n k o f one t h i n g b i g enough
t o l i e a b o u t t h a t ' s s m a l l enough n o t t o
matter.
He l o o k s a t him. Makes a d e c i s i o n .
DEVIN
I only know one thing. And it's from
another guy, so take it as that . . .
He sighs.
DEVIN (CONT' D)
Helene and Ray took Cheese's money in
June. A week later, Remy came to a cop in
DCU, asking if anyone knew who robbed
Cheese. The story went around like:
that's how good Remy was.
PATRICK
Why?
DEVIN
'Cause our informant told us- Cheese
didn't even know the money was stolen
until two weeks later.
PATRICK
How did Remy find out that quick?
Devin stands with his coffee, laughs a little.
DEVIN
If I knew that, I wouldn't be here
talkin' to you. And be sure on how far
you want to go with this--
(BEAT)
You start investigating Police it's a
whole other level. You try to take food
out of their mouths they will fuck you
UP -
He smiles.
DEVIN (CONT' D)
Thanks for the steak.
He downs his coffee and goes.
CUT TO:
EXT. TAFT STREET - DAY
Patrick gets out of his car. He walks down the street. On the
way he passes and waves to several residents of several
neighboring 3-Deckers.
He holds his look as we travel with him.
ANGIE'S APT - MOMENTS LATER
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick is talking to Angie.
PATRICK
Trust me. I know I'm right. He lied to us
because he didn't want us to know he knew
Ray. That' s the whole thing.
ANGIE
And how is it possible that he could know
the money was stolen before anyone else.
PATRICK
The same way everyone in this
neighborhood knows everyone else's
business.
(BEAT)
Someone tells them.
She looks dubious.
ANGIE
This is reckless. It's one thing to get
obsessed yourself because that's what you
need to go through-- but this man lost,
basically, his child. If you do this, you
better fuckin' be right.
PATRICK
I understand that. I'm not asking you to
believe I'm right. I'm asking you to
believe in me.
BEA'S HOME, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS, PRESENT
INT. LIONEL &
Lionel sits is his easy chair. It's still. We play the
conversation over him sitting there.
LIONEL
Hello.
PATRICK (ON PHONE)
Where are you. I need to see you.
LIONEL
Can it wait?
PATRICK (ON PHONE)
No.
There is a pause. Something in Patrick's tone stops Lionel.
LIONEL
Can you meet me at Murphy's Law? It's on
Summer.
PATRICK
Fifteen minutes, Lionel.
LIONEL
All right. I'm coming.
EXT. DORCHESTER ST. - DUSK SETTING IN
Colin Hay' s "The Water Song" plays.
The day has died. Muted yellow lights appear in windows. The
coming dark promises a deepening chill. Children have
disappeared from the street to wash up for dinner. Liquor
stores and nail salons are half empty and listless. Horns
honk sporadically and a storefront gate rattles as it drops.
In the faces of people on the street you can see the weight
of the morning's unfulfilled promise in the numb sag of their
faces.
EXT. MURPHY'S LAW - SUNSET
From a high angle, we see the bar.
From the car we see Patrick and Angie wait in their car
outside Murphy's Law. They see Lionel approach and head into
the bar.
INT. MURPHY'S LAW - DUSK SETTING IN
2 TEAMSTERS share a bottle of whiskey at the bar while 3
SECRETARIES chat nearby. A BARTENDER works with a WAITRESS.
Near the back door, TWO MEN throw darts.
Patrick, Angie and Lionel sit around a table in the middle of
the bar. Lionel stares at his hands.
PATRICK
How long you known Remy?
LIONEL
Detective Bressant?
(LIAR'S PAUSE)
Just, in, met him through the
investigation of Amanda.
PATRICK
That's it?
LIONEL
Yeah.
PATRICK
How long you known Remy?
LIONEL
What is this?
PATRICK
They have the internet now, Lionel.
LIONEL
(pauses -- looking from one to
THE OTHER)
You know how it is in town. Everybody
knows everybody.
PATRICK
No, Lionel. Everybody don't know
everybody.
LIONEL
What are you talkin' about?
PATRICK
Why you lyin' Lionel?
LIONEL
I'm not.
PATRICK
Do you have something to hide? Why can't
you tell me?
Beat.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
When you want to get away with a crime,
Lionel it ain't bullshitting your way
past ten questions. It's nobody asking
the first one.
PATRICK ALTERNATIVE LINE:
PATRICK (CONT'D)
You came to our house . . . .fuckin' explode.
Lionel puts up his hands.
LIONEL
Fine. Fine.
(BEAT)
I haven't been honest with you. It's
just not something I'm proud of, you
know? I was in a bar fight, in the day.
The other guy cracked his skull. At some
point, I musta said, "I' 11 kill you." So
they had me up for attempted. My word
against the other guy's. A witness
testified to my version and the jury
believed him.
PATRICK
'Cause he was a cop.
LIONEL
Yeah. He testified for me.
Angie starts to believe Lionel might be lying.
ANGIE
Why didn't you mention that?
LIONEL
I was embarrassed.
PATRICK
Bullshit. You bragged about taking a hard
bust the first day we met you.
LIONEL
No I didn't.
PATRICK
So you knew 'Detective Bressant.'
LIONEL
It's not like we were best friends.
ANGIE
(BUILDING SUSPICION)
But you lied.
PATRICK
Why did you call Remy?
LIONEL
He's a cop.. .
PATRICK
And?
LIONEL
(GETTING FLUSTERED)
The c a s e i s c l o s e d , P a t r i c k . I t ' s c l o s e d .
PATRICK
You h e a r d Helene a n d Ray t a l k i n g a b o u t
t h e money.
LIONEL
.
Come o n . .
PATRICK
I t r s a s m a l l p l a c e , t h e y were l o u d , you
h e a r d them a r g u i n g .
LIONEL
Who? Who a r g u i n r ?
PATRICK
You a n d him t o o k Amanda, t o b l a c k m a i l
your s i s t e r .
LIONEL
Why would I do t h a t ?
PATRICK
F o r t h e money L i o n e l , t h e f u c k i n ' money.
PATRICK ALTERNATIVE LINE:
PATRICK (CONTRD )
A f t e r t h e p l u g i n t h e j u g . . . .t h e n You
were f u c k e d .
ANGIE
You h a t e y o u r s i s t e r .
LIONEL
...
ANGIE
PATRICK
And you were fucked--
LIONEL
(looking f o r waitress)
Where's t h e - - why c a n ' t we g e t any--
ANGIE
L i o n e l , t e l l me what h a p p e n e d .
LIONEL
Hold o n a s e c o n d . . .
PATRICK
Coke d e a l i n ' H a i t i a n would be a n e a s y
t a r g e t f o r a frame--
LIONEL
E x c u s e me, m i s s ?
PATRICK
You t o o k y o u r n i e c e and l a i d i t o f f on a
b l a c k guy.
Lionel i s going t o break.
LIONEL
(SEEING HER)
Excuse me!
A WAITRESS g e t s t h e r e .
LIONEL (CONT ' D )
Can I g e t some s e r v i c e ?
She s t a r e s a t him.
WAITRESS
What c a n I g e t you?
Lionel t a k e s a long beat, then asks for:
LIONEL
Three s h o t s of Maker's, please.
These w i l l b e L i o n e l ' s f i r s t d r i n k s i n t w e n t y t h r e e y e a r s .
LIONEL (CONT'D)
And a Bud. T a l l .
(BEAT)
Thank you.
The w a i t r e s s g o e s t o g e t t h e d r i n k s . L i o n e l s i m p l y l o o k s a t
them, t h i n k i n g o v e r h i s s e c r e t s , wondering a b o u t t h e l i f e
h e ' s a b o u t t o l e t go o f .
LIONEL (CONT' D )
J u s t g i v e me a s e c o n d .
The w a i t r e s s r e t u r n s w i t h t h e d r i n k s and l i n e s them up i n
f r o n t of L i o n e l . He r e g a r d s t h e d r i n k s b e f o r e him f o r a l o n g
.
beat. .
LIONEL (CONT'D)
Twenty t h r e e y e a r s i s s o m e t h i n g , r i g h t ?
Lionel downs one. He feels the liquor flame through his
bloodstream.
PATRICK
Go.
LIONEL
In May I came up to check on Amanda. She
was alone, as usual. I was reading her a
story when Helene and Ray came home. They
didn't know I was there and they started
talking about how they had robbed this
drug dealer. Then they talked about
leaving the state. I called Remy and told
him.
PATRICK
Then what?
Lionel pours another shot down his throat, gathers himself.
LIONEL
Then we took her.
(BEAT)
Remy laid out this plan, it seemed easy.
We take her, force Helene and Ray to
cough up the money, and then put her
back. You know? Amanda gets a weekend in
the country; My sister learns a lesson;
And fuck it, we'll all get paid on top of
it . . . I got no problem taking money from
a guy like Cheese.
(PAUSE)
They were gonna handle the cops, but Bea
went nuts calling the papers and hired
you. Once you found the money they had
Amanda and the money. So they decided to
set up a fake exchange for you to
witness. They got Chris Mullen to set
Cheese up at the quarry for 15k and a
chance to be the boss. Even though it was
too late, Cheese figured out what was
happening and started shooting. You have
to understand, I never been around that.
Everyone was panickin' and she . . .
(A BEAT)
. . . she got scared and she ran.
(ANOTHER BEAT)
And she just fell in.
OVER THE PREVIOUS DIALOGUE WE PLAY FLASHES:
ANGIE
She was your sister's kid, Lionel.
(BEAT)
Your sister's c h i l d .
LIONEL
You don't think I miss her? She was more
my kid than Helene's.
(BEAT)
Last summer, Helene and Dottie took
Amanda to the beach. Real hot day. Amanda
fell asleep and they left her in the car
to go off with some guys in the dunes.
For two hours. Amanda literally roasted.
She was t h r e e .
He listens skeptically.
LIONEL (CONT' D)
My sister called me up later that night
because Amanda was, " b e i n q a r e a l b i t c h . "
(PAUSE)
When I got over there I found my niece in
the bathtub, schriekin' in pain and she
reeked, like beer. The best my sister
could come up with to ease her daughter's
pain was to douse her in cold beer. But
not all of it, she wanted to "save some."
Long exhale.
LIONEL (CONT'D)
Later on, I was holding her, trying to
help her sleep, and she was so hot she
felt like something just outta the
oven... Like a fuckinr pot r o a s t .
(BEAT)
So don't feel too sorry for my sister.
She never cared about anyone but herself.
108 A COMMOTION draws their attention to the front door. A MAN 108
WEARING A POPEYE MASK stands just inside the door brandishing
a shotgun.
POPEYE
(TO BARTENDER)
YOU! THE SAFE . . . NOW!
(pointing with his gun)
Right under there.
The bartender does as he's told -- sliding open a door
beneath the bar to reveal a safe.
POPEYE (CONT'D)
Everyone needs to shut up. I'll be done
in two minutes.
(to the dart players)
You get down on the floor. Hands behind
your head! Just relax.
A woman starts to panic.
WOMAN AT BAR
Oh, god, no.
POPEYE
This will all be over in a minute if
everyone stays calm.
TEAMSTER
Do you know who's bar this is, shit-head?
Popeye CRACKS the teamster in the jaw with the butt of his
shotgun.
POPEYE
Or you can get wise. It's up to you.
The bartender places a STACK OF BILLS on the bar -- 2 or 3
grand. Popeye throws a DUFFLE BAG at him and he fills it.
DART PLAYER
We got families.
POPEYE
Pipe down.
He turns to Lionel.
POPEYE (CONT'D)
What did you say?!
Nobody said anything.
POPEYE (CONT' D)
Another smart guy?
The bar is silent.
POPEYE (CONT'D)
(TO LIONEL)
You1re a talker, huh? Keep yapping
motherfucker.
WOMAN AT BAR
Stop antagonizing him! He has a gun.
POPEYE
(TO LIONEL)
You want to keep talking trash? Okay.
DART PLAYER
SHUT UP!
Even though Lionel has said nothing, every witness at the bar
would remember it this way. That Lionel had been talking and
he had been killed.
Popeye SNAPS THE ROUND INTO THE CHAMBER WITH ONE HAND.
HE CRANES HIS NECK
On Patrick, this rings a bell. From the Tretts. . .
Popeye is Bressant. Bressant levels the shotgun at Lionel.
POPEYE
(TO LIONEL)
Close your eyes, Mouth. Close 'em tight.
LIONEL
You don't have to do this
PATRICK
REMY BRESSANT.
Bressant looks at him, then sticks the shotgun between
Lionel' s eyes.
LIONEL
(his eyes shut)
Wait. Jesus.
PATRICK
Amanda McCready was taken by Remy
Bressant !
BRESSANT
Don't say that fucking name!
LIONEL
I already told him we did it for ransom.
I told him we did it for ransom!
Remy . . . Please.
Ill.
BRESSANT
Fuck. . .
His heart isn't in it. He begins to lower his gun
BANG! BANG!
TWO SHOTS HIT Bressant. He takes a beat to register this,
standing stock-still.
The Bartender is standing there with a smoking gun, in shock.
Patrick leaps out of his chair and drives his head into
Bressant's stomach. Wrapping his arms around his waist, he
plows his spine straight back into the bar.
Bressant cracks the shotgun stock down onto the back of
Patrick's neck, buckling his knees and crashing him to the
floor. He SCRAMBLES OUT the front door.
Patrick gets to his feet and looks around. Angie is okay.
Patrick turns and RACES out the front door after Bressant.
Angie goes to Lionel's side.
SECRETARY
Call 911! Call 911!
EXT STREET - CONTINUOUS
Patrick looks up and down the street, but Bressant is nowhere
to be seen. He sees a BLOODY POPEYE MASK on the ground. A
TRAIL OF BLOOD runs away from it which Patrick follows across
the street.
The thickening trail leads Patrick along the side of a LARGE
3-STORY FACTORY (in the process of being converted to lofts)
and to a DOOR near the back. Blood is smeared on the door and
a small red puddle has formed on the ground.
INT FACTORY STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS
Leading with his gun, Patrick steps into a bright STAIRWELL.
Blood tracks up the stairs and Patrick ascends cautiously.
He climbs one flight.
And then another -- pausing on the landing. Above him, light
comes through an OPEN DOOR. He starts for it.
Patrick continues up the last few steps. He reaches the top
and peers out onto:
EXT ROOFTOP - CONTINUOUS
Patrick scans the roof for Remy. He sees nothing on his right
and turns around to his left, circling the stairwell. Behind
him we see a magnificent view of the neighborhood. He turns
another corner to see:
Bressant sits against an aluminum vent - - his head leaned
back and his eyes half closed. A ROSE OF BLOOD spreads out
against Bressant's shirt. His flesh is beginning to grey.
Patrick holds his gun on him and calls out.
PATRICK
Put the fuckin' gun down! Put it down.
Remy has his gun on his lap. He lets it fall to his side.
BRESSANT
That bartender wasn't fuckin' around.
Patrick kicks away the gun.
PATRICK
Fuck you. You let this little girl die.
You want to tell me how to live?
Patrick looks at Remy.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
'Do your best.' Fuck you, this is my
best.
Bressant wags his head a little
BRESSANT
I know.
PATRICK
You know? You let a girl go off a cliff.
What do you know? You don't know.
Bressant just smiles at him.
( CONT ' D)
PATRICK
She was a child--
Remy gives him a long, strange look. Then:
BRESSANT
Yeah.
(BEAT)
( MORE )
BRESSANT (CONT'D)
I could never have kids. I told my wife
to marry someone else. She wouldn't do
it.
(beat, distant)
I love children.
Bressant is fading. Patrick stands over him. Oddly peaceful,
Bressant gives Patrick a kind smile.
BRESSANT ( CONT' D)
I like you, Patrick. You get to Florida,
look me up.
Patrick looks at him.
BRESSANT (CONT'D)
Let me see the city.
Patrick stands there. Bressant looks out at Boston, rising
steel and glass in the setting August sun. Autumn is almost
at hand and the crispness of the air makes the view all the
more sad.
Bressant makes a guttural sound, appreciating the last thing
he'll see.
Patrick looks at him, dying. Not how he expected this to end.
CRANE starts on Remy, up to Patrick, then pulls far above
both them and the city.
DISSOLVE OVER THE ROOFTOP IN THE SETTING SUN (CRANE)
INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
Patrick sits in a chair. Present are the NEW CAPTAIN (57) and
a BEEFY OFFICER (50) with a crew cut.
They sit around a desk, informally. Patrick is not charged
with anything but rather is being questioned routinely
(hence, no lawyer) .
PATRICK
Why would I expose a conspiracy I was a
part of?
(BEAT)
Did Lionel contradict anything I said?
Did the witnesses?
The Captain stands.
CAPTAIN
A Police officer was killed today. That's
not looked on lightly.
PATRICK
Is corruption looked on lightly?
BEEFY OFFICER
You got a smart mouth.
PATRICK
How is getting a little girl killed
looked on?
CAPTAIN
We'd like to ensure that you're telling
us the truth. Is that all right with you?
Hot shit?
PATRICK
It's fine, hot shit.
CAPTAIN
So, after setting up Jean Baptiste, your
friend Chris Mullen was coincidentally
killed? And you didn't have nothing to
do with it?
PATRICK
He was probably killed by Sgt. Detective
Remy Bressant or anyone else who wanted
the 130K in his backpack.
(BEAT)
He's not my friend.
BEEFY OFFICER
You charge money as a detective. But you
were at the quarry and yet you had no
idea it was a set up?
PATRICK
I trust the Police when they tell me
something. And I had a fake ransom note
and Amanda's blanket the cops left in my
mailbox. And I heard the tape from when
Cheese, or I guess it was Chris
pretending to be Cheese, called the
station.
CAPTAIN
A 911 call?
PATRICK
No. The call into the station from Cheese
to Remy.
CAPTAIN
We don't tape calls into the station.
(BEAT)
And we don't do transcripts, smart guy.
Beat. This causes Patrick to register something.
BEEFY OFFICER
Did you hear a tape?
PATRICK
No.
BEEFY OFFICER
Did you see a transcript?
PATRICK
I must have remembered it wrong. Remy
read it to me.
The Police look at him.
PATRICK (CONT' D)
Look, I've cooperated. Unless you want me
to go out there and start calling the
papers to give 'em my Police corruption
exclusive, I'm leaving.
He gets up.
CAPTAIN
Calm down.
(BEAT)
You're released. But Mr. Kenize--
(WINKS)
I hope you don't get pulled over any time
soon.
INT. PATRICK AND ANGIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Patrick comes into the office/living room. Angie is there.
ANGIE
What happened?
PATRICK
They kept my shoelaces.
She smiles.
ANGIE
We'll go down to Zayre's tomorrow and get
you some new ones.
PATRICK
I don't want to do that tomorrow.
ANGIE
What do you want to do?
PATRICK
Take a trip.
EXT MASS TURNPIKE - DAY
The car speeds along the empty highway, carving through thick
forests of pine trees.
Inside the car it's quiet. Patrick's stare is fixed to the
road -- the rhythm of the white lines that pulse by. Angie
rests her head against the passenger window, the BLUR of the
tree-line reflected in her eyes.
EXT . RURAL HIGHWAY - DAY
A 2-LANE ROAD winds them through rolling hills and past a
SIGN welcoming them to: 'WEST BECKETT, MA. Pop. 974' -- a
Rockwell painting in the heart of the Berkshire Mountains.
EXT TOWNSEND ROAD - MOMENTS LATER
The car rolls down a quiet road where small COTTAGES nestle
in clumps of birch and pine trees. Patrick parks opposite a
long driveway. A MAILBOX at its mouth reads: DOYLE
ROAD - AFTERNOON
EXT. TOWNSEND
Patrick and Angie sit in the car. They look down a driveway.
She takes a beat.
ANGIE
You want to tell me where our trip has
taken us?
PATRICK
You know where we are.
ANGIE
(BEAT)
He would never, ever do something to
endanger a child.
PATRICK
Are you sure?
ANGIE
Yes.
PATRICK
He was a part of it. They don't tape
calls. He handed us a transcript like it
was evidence and he knew it was a forgery-
-maybe he forged it himself. He knew
what they were doing, he supported it and
he covered it up.
ANGIE
Why? For a third of a hundred and thirty
grand? What for?
He just looks at her.
PATRICK
Had to be for something.
ANGIE
When you're talking about ruining an old
man who lost his child and gave years of
service . . . "something" isn't enough.
PATRICK
For a guy who tried to ruin us,
something' s plenty.
ANGIE
This is the kind of thing where if you do
it, you want to be sure.
(BEAT)
Are you sure?
PATRICK
No.
(BEAT)
Are you coming?
ANGIE
No.
And he goes down the road.
EXT DRIVEWAY - MOMENTS LATER
They start down the driveway towards a small, red cottage set
a hundred yards or so off the road. But after only a few
steps, they stop.
PATRICK & ANGIE'S POV: Through the trees, Doyle emerges from
the cottage. He carries 2 FULL SUITCASES to a SUBURBAN and
loads them in the back. His wife, FRANCINE, follows.
Patrick & Angie take a beat before resuming down the drive.
Only to FREEZE IN THEIR TRACKS at the sight of:
AMANDA MCCREADY CHARGING ONTO THE PORCH, clutching a BACK-
PACK, and wearing a look of utter determination.
AMANDA
Don't forget mine, gramma.
FRANCINE
I'd never forget yours, sweetheart.
Doyle lifts Amanda off the porch and carries her to the
Suburban. He dips down, allowing Amanda to place her back-
pack inside.
AMANDA
Can I have a, please a sandwich?
DOYLE
What kind do you want.
AMANDA
Grill Cheese.
DOYLE
You like the crusts on, right?
AMANDA
(thrilled with this game)
Noooo! I don't like the crusts on!
DOYLE
(FAKES REMEMBERING)
That' s right, that's right.
Patrick and Angie have ducked into the woods. They are both
in shock.
PATRICK
Jesus.
ANGIE
She's alive.
SERIES OF FLASHBACKS SHOWING WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN
EXTREMELY QUICK SUCCESSION.
-
- EXT. TOWNSEND ROAD - AFTERNOON
-1
Patrick walks down Doyle's driveway toward the car. Angie is
sitting, leaned up against the hood, he head tilted forward.
As Patrick draws near, she lifts her head up to him and we
see she has been crying.
This isn't what Patrick expected and he is taken aback for a
beat, long enough for Angie to say:
ANGIE
She's happy.
PATRICK
No.. .
ANGIE
She' s happy here.
(BEAT)
I saw her.
PATRICK
Angie, don't do this.
ANGIE
If you call the Police they'll send her
back.
PATRICK
I need you on my side.
ANGIE
I am on your side but I can't send her
back.
PATRICK
We're not sending her anywhere. That's
her mother. She has a right to her
child.
ANGIE
He's better for her.
PATRICK
Why? Because he has money and makes
sandwiches?
ANGIE
SIMPLY)
Because he loves her.
PATRICK
Helene loves her, too.
ANGIE
No.
PATRICK
She might learn from this.
ANGIE
No. People don't change.
Angle grows more impassioned.
ANGIE (CONT'D)
Helene is arsenic. She'll kill her.
She'll burn the life out of her.
PATRICK
You can't take away someone's kid.
ANGIE
I don't want to. I want to leave their
child with them.
PATRICK
~ l this time we wanted to bring her
L
home. Why is that wrong now?
ANGIE
Because I know right and wrong when I see
it.
PATRICK
I need you to understand me right now. I
need you to love me and say I know this
is a hard decision but I stand by you. I
need you to take me home and make this
okay.
ANGIE
I can do that. I can take you home and I
know how to make it okay.
(BEAT)
(MORE)
ANGIE (CONT'D)
It will be okay because every now and
again we'll talk about her and where she
might be and what grade she's in and
we'll be proud of her and that will be
okay.
(BEAT)
Because we'll know she's in a good school
and safe and has sleep overs and birthday
parties and smiles every day.
(BEAT)
And maybe sometime we'll drive out here
and watch a softball game with a teenager
in it from the back bleachers and we'll
see how much she's grown. And then I'll
take you home and we' 11 know it's okay.
PATRICK
You can't ask me to do something I can't
do.
ANGIE
You can't ask me to live with it,
She makes a plea.
ANGIE (CONT'D)
Patrick, for me. Please?
(BEAT)
I'll hate you for doing it. I don't want
to but I will.
She walks away, leaving him alone by the side of the road.
EXT. DOYLE SUMMER COTTAGE, DRIVEWAY - MOMENTS LATER
We push in, approaching Doyle who turns to see Patrick.
Doyle watches Patrick. He offers a measured greeting.
DOYLE
Patrick Kenzie. To what do I owe the
pleasure?
He holds Doyle's look.
PATRICK
Remy Bressant died last night.
DOYLE
I was told. It's a shame.
PATRICK
Hard to understand. He seemed like a
good man.
DOYLE
He was a good man. You don't know why
people do what they do. Only they see
out their own windows.
With that, AMANDA walks out the door, running to Jack and
clinging to his leg. Jack holds Patrick's look.
AMANDA
Papapa. Come make sandwiches now please.
Doyle smiles, giving away nothing of his tension with
Patrick.
Francine comes to the door.
DOYLE
(TO FRANCINE)
It's all right.
(TO AMANDA)
Go inside, my sweet. I'll be there soon
and make you a sandwich.
Francine hesitates. Doyle is gentle.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
I'm all right.
Francine takes her back inside.
A beat. Doyle smiles.
DOYLE (CONT'D)
So you know. Good for you. You
uncovered the thing men died for.
PATRICK
Men killed for.
DOYLE
I'm giving that little girl a life.
PATRICK
It's not your life to give. Helene is
her mother. You think she's a bad mother
you should have gone to social services.
Short of that, it's her mother, it's
where she belongs.
DOYLE
Turn around, get back in your car and
wait thirty years. You don't know what
the world is made of yet.
PATRICK
I know I'm tired of being lied to and
tired of being lectured by a gang of
criminals. I'm calling the State Police
in five minutes. They'll be here in ten.
DOYLE
No.
(BEAT)
You haven't made that call because you
think it might be an irreparable mistake.
Because part of you believes it doesn't
matter what the rules say. Because you
know, when the lights go out and it's
just you and your conscience you ask
yourself if she's better here or better
there, you know the answer and you always
will.
PATRICK
See you at the arraignment.
DOYLE
You can do one good pure thing here
today. One right thing. Most men don't
get that chance in a lifetime.
(BEAT)
You walk away from that, you may not
regret it when you get home, or in a year
but I promise you, get to where I am, you
will. But I'll be dead by then, you'll
be old, and she'll be trailing a ragged,
tattered childhood of her own -- and
you'll be the one who has to tell them
you' re sorry.
PATRICK
Then I guess I will. I'll tell them I'm
sorry and I'll live with it. And maybe
that will happen, what I'm not gonna do,
is have to apologize to a grown woman who
says, why did you leave me? I got
kidnapped, my aunt hired you to find me,
and you did. You found me with a strange
family but you broke your promise and you
left me there. Why? Why didn't you
bring me home?
(MORE)
PATRICK (CONT' D)
It don't matter how many outfits and
snacks and family trips we took-- they
weren't my family, they stole me and I
was raised as a stranger to myself and
the life I would have had. You knew
about it, you knew better and you did
nothing. And maybe that grown woman will
forgive me but I won't forgive myself.
Silence . . .
It hangs in the air.
PATRICK (CONT'D)
The only thing I care about is that
little girl. And I'm gonna bring her
home.
Doyle hears this. Has his reaction, something like a
sagging, an emptiness, and a resolution.
DOYLE
I STILL
Then you'll have to excuse me.
have a sandwich left to make.
He turns and walks inside.
SAME - LATER
Patrick watches from down the road. Doyle is on the porch.
Jack sits in his favorite chair. Amanda is on his lap,
facing him, arms around his shoulders, head tucked into his
neck. He slowly rocks the chair. He holds Amanda like its
the last hug of his life. His eyes are fixed on a point
somewhere far off in the distance.
Patrick takes out his phone.
In the distance sirens wail faintly, getting louder.
Just inside the door is Amanda's colorful kids back-pack, a
strange and cute stuffed snake, and Francine's bag spilling
over with zip-locked snacks and children's cups-- all the
stuff Francine had packed to make sure Amanda would have,
whereever she'd go.
Over this all, beginning faintly and growing increasingly
audible, is the inanity of the television news. It's blather
like a merciless blanket of idiocy over something hopelessly
sad.
A swarm of West Beckett POLICE CRUISERS cram the small road.
A Deputy knocks on the door. Doyle answers. He knows the
local cops' who are embarrassed to arrest him. He makes it
easy for them.
Doyle nods at the deputy with quiet acceptance and the
dignity of a man at peace with the choices h e r s made.
The DEPUTY puts a hand-cuffed Doyle into the back of his car.
Francine Doyle silently mouthing! "oh my God' oh my God."
Angie looks out from the car' past the policef past
everything.
They move to Francine to put her in a police car.
Amandal being taken from Francine' cries and reaches out to
her. She screams.
Francine is handcuffed.
Patrick tries to hold his look.
Patrick stands with a GROUP OF SHERIFF'S DEPUTIES.
He looks to Angie . . .
She doesn' t look back.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT HELENE'S APARTMENT - EVENING
The crush of media has descended outside the apartment for
footage of the joyous reunion. Helene is made up. She waits
on the curb as the POLICE CAR arrives.
Out gets a FEMALE OFFICERr holding Amandar who is terrified
by the rapacious mob of REPORTERS AND PHOTOGWPHERS.
Amanda's fear of the throng causes her to cling to Helenel
giving the photographers the shot they want.
Patrick watches from his car' parked up the block. He is
alone.
ADDITIONAL STREET MONTAGE IMAGES FEATURING PATRICK
He is in the neighborhood.
EXT. CITY STRETT - SUNSET
Patrick drives. He sees the ITALIAN MAN (Gerry Speca) and
they trade looksl once again' 40 fps as he drives by.
ANGIE'S APT - EVENING
INT PATRICK &
Patrick comes home. Boxes are packed. The place feels less
warm. More bare.
A voice from the doorway turns him around. It's Angie.
ANGIE
Sorryr I had to come back and get some
stuff.
PATRICK
It's okay.
She looks at himl almost sympathetic.
PATRICK ( CONT ' D)
Can we at least talk?
ANGIE
There's nothing to say
She smiles' maybe some water pooling at the corners of her
eyes.
After a beat' looking at herl he steps aside. She moves past
him and out the door.
ANGIE'S APTr KITCHEN - LATER
INT. PATRICK &
Patrick sits at the kitchen table.
On the TVl Helene is talking to the press. Pull back to
reveal Patrick watching her at his kitchen table.
HELENE (ON TV)
I just want to say God bless. God bless.
To all the police and . . .the firemen . . . I
just feel like nine-eleven right now...
EXT. CEMETERY DUSK
-
Watching from afar as Bressant is buried. In contrast to
Mount Auburn' this is a pitiful little place. His WIFE (the
former prostitute) and a few scant mourners stand by. A
PRIEST delivers the eulogy. It begins to rain.
END MUSIC CUE:
DISSOLVE :
INT HELENE'S APARTMENT EVENING
-
In the LIVING ROOM' Amanda is plunked on the couch staring
blankly at a SITCOMf sharing none of the studio audience's
enthusiasm.
Patrick stands just inside the front door watching her.
HELENE (0. . )
S
I'm sorry for being rude' but I gotta be
outta here in like two minutes.
Patrick doesn't answer' his gaze fixed on Amanda. She finally
looks up at him. Patrick SMILES at her.
PATRICK
Hi.
Amanda looks at him' blankly.
She returns her attention to the TV.
HELENE (0.. )
S
You think hef11 like me?
Patrick looks over to Helene standing in the doorwayf all
dolled up -- striking a pose. She wears too much makeup. Her
clothes reveal too much of what she hasn't got.
PATRICK
Who?
HELENE
My date.
PATRICK
I'm sure he will.
HELENE
Aww' you' re sweet. He seen me on my
American Victim and he wrote me letters
and I was like whatever' but then he saw
my Katie Couric and drove down here from
Providence so I was likef that's
romantic' right?
Patrick forces a smile.
HELENE (CONT'D)
Howrs your girlfriend?
PATRICK
(HESITATES)
She's all right. She's up the north shore
with her sister.
HELENE
( FLIRTY)
If she donrt get smart' I'll take you
out.
(shakes her head)
Hope she got better family than I do'
right?
Patrick forces a nod. She fastens an earring to her lobe.
PATRICK
Howfs Bea?
HELENE
I wouldn't let her in the apartment.
(JUSTIFYING)
Whatr I want to lose her again? Forget
it.
(BEAT)
She sold her unit. Moved out to fancy
pants in Melrose. Good riddance.
PATRICK
Yeah.
HELENE
Don' t think she didnft hate you for
Lionel goinr to jail.
PATRICK
Probably why she never paid my bill.
HELENE
You should fuckin' sue.
Something registers on Amanda's face when Helene says "fuck.''
PATRICK
How about youf Helene? You hate me?
HELENE
Euck no. Brother or not he took my kid.
Euck him. She could' a been hurt.
PATRICK
What about Amanda?
HELENE
What about Amanda?
PATRICK
Who's watching her?
HELENE
Dottie.
PATRICK
Dottie know that?
HELENE
She will in five minutes.
(GIGGLES)
Shit, I'm gonna be late, too.
Patrick waits.
HELENE (CONT'D)
Unless you don't mind sittin' for her?
PATRICK
Sure.
HELENE
For real?
PATRICK
It's fine.
HELENE
She likes you.
Patrick looks to Amanda. She just sits there. Watches TV.
HELENE (CONT'D)
(LEAVING)
You' re a godsend, Patrick.
She goes. And then calls out from the stairwell.
HELENE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
BYE!! !
Patrick sits next to Amanda on the couch . . . And together --
silently -- they watch TV.
Patrick sees that Amanda is holding her famous doll, the one
the papers said she loved so much, the one Angie plucked from
the quarry..
PATRICK
(RE: DOLL)
Is that Mirabelle?
Amanda looks up at him.
AMANDA
(CORRECTING)
Annabelle.
He nods. It makes sense. They turn back to the television.
PATRICK (V.0. )
I started going to Church again. I saw
them bury Remy and, for the first time in
years, maybe ever, I prayed for someone.
I did everything I wanted to do. I proved
my father wrong. I either learned my
lesson or became a man, I can't tell the
difference . Either way, all it' s left me
is the hollow, copper aftertaste in my
throat, like a vague and distant regret.
Remy was right, I know very little--but
what I do know, I am sure of: I was wrong
about that commercial. "Shouldn' t your
dog be treated like a member of the
family?" It doesn't depend on the dog. It
depends on the family.
We hold on them for an extended beat. The blather from the
television washes over them, the man and the little girl.
FADE TO BLACK
The End.
Gone Baby Gone
Writers : Ben Affleck Aaron Stockard
Genres : Crime Drama Mystery
User Comments
Back to IMSDb
| screenplays |
The New Generation Movement or Naway Nwe , , is an Iraqi Kurdish political party formed to contest the 2018 general election.
History of the Party
The New Generation Movement is a newly founded political party in the Kurdistan Region of Iraq, which was formed in Jan 05, 2018. The party was founded by Shaswar Abdulwahid who is a businessman and an investor in Kurdistan region. Abdulwahid founded the movement after heading the No for Now campaign against the Kurdistan Independence Referendum in September 2017. The Movement campaigns on a platform of anti-corruption, economic liberalization, and social tolerance.'
Founding of the Party
Shaswar Abdulwahid entered politics in 2017, during the Kurdistan Regions independence referendum. He led the No For Now campaign, which argued that the timing for the referendum was wrong from a political and economic standpoint.'
In 2018, Shaswar Abdulwahid established the New Generation Movement, which was able to secure four seats in Iraqs Council of Representatives in its first election in May 2018 and eight seats in Kurdistan Parliament in regional elections in September 2018, becoming the fourth largest grouping out of 40 political parties in the Kurdistan Parliament.'
Arrest
New Generation leader Shaswar Abdulwahid appeared in court in Sulaimani on 3 March 2019 and arrested after being summoned on charges related to Articles 229 and 434 of the Iraqi penal code.' Shaswar had been previously arrested in 2017 for backing protests.' He and his supporters have argued that these arrests were politically motivated, noting that he has had prominent companies, businesses, and TV channels since 2007 but was not never arrested until 2017 when he became an influential political player on the side of the opposition.'
Kurdistan 2033, New Generation Movement Strategy
The Kurdistan Region stands at a crossroads and the decisions that are made today will have an effect far into the future. To successfully navigate these dangerous times, the Region needs a political movement that envisions a decisive, new future: one that strives to build an inclusive, peaceful, and prosperous Kurdistan where human rights, individual liberties, womens rights, power sharing, economic development, tolerance, and compassion are societys guiding principles. That movement needs to be decisive in its support for these values, eschewing the systems of patronage that are so damaging to society.'
The Kurdistan Region needs to undertake a brave new change, unafraid to take on the large and complicated problems that require constructive dialogue with the Iraqi government. The New Generation Movement can resolve the issues between Erbil and Baghdad and make the Iraqi Constitution for our citizens.'
New Generation will do this in a way that empowers women and girls in political decision-making. Women and girls should not be used to decorate the table of politicians. Their role in decision-making must be equal to that of men. '
In the spirit of transparency and openness, the New Generation Movement is making its policy goals public by releasing this detailed fifteen-year plan. Drawing on the expertise of numerous advisors, this plan outlines three phases of development for the most important parts of our society.'
New Generation will work hard to become the largest party in the Region. For too long, the chaotic multi-party governments have divided the cake of government amongst themselves and, as a result, failed the people. This arrangement enables the old political forces to avoid taking for their own failures. New Generation seeks to form a majority government capable of implementing a cohesive, progressive policy agenda to end that practice. '
Unlike the older parties, New Generation does not look for excuses for its failures or others to blame. It is committed to governing with accountability and transparency. Success or failure would be measured by the welfare of the citizens, not the fortunes of the movements leadership. If we fail in that regard, we should not remain in power.'
This fifteen-year policy program put forward by the New Generation Movement requires harmony and stability to be successful. Ensuring peace and coexistence is central to this plan. Therefore, as a way of introduction, I would like to discuss these issues in greater detail.'
First, peace within the Kurdistan Region means creating an atmosphere of coexistence and tolerance that ensures a diverse and inclusive society between citizens of different ethnic and religious groups, all holding equal rights and responsibilities. We are all endowed with human rights that stem our common humanity and are not granted on the basis of religion, ethnicity, or gender. We are all citizens of Kurdistan or the people under our protection. The New Generation Movement serves all equally.'
A matter that has particular relevance for the Kurdistan Region is the historical tension between our political parties. While we all have strongly held beliefs and will firmly challenge each other on policy. Nevertheless, we are all also from this region and country. We should respect each other and ensure that our rivalry never reaches a point where we undermine our common identity or depend on external forces to resolve our differences. Developing the homeland is the first and foremost duty of us as citizens and as political parties. Maintaining peace within the borders of the Kurdistan Region is all of our responsibility, regardless of our partisan affiliation.'
Second, in terms of maintaining peace in the disputed territories, no government or military force has been able to resolve the issue using force. The last one who attempted to do so was Saddam Hussein, who failed to impose his will on the area around Kirkuk or on the Kurdistan Region, even with one million fighters and armed men. Peace in this contested zone stems from a commitment to tolerance, political stability, and economic development. Kurds should respect all other ethnicities, religions, and sects in these areas. Providing good governance would demonstrate the positive benefit of living under the umbrella of the Kurdistan Regional Government KRG. If a referendum were to be held in the future, residents in the disputed areas would want to choose this government freely. Kurds should use a discourse of coexistence.'
Third, in order to have a stable and progressive Kurdistan Region, we need a strong relationship between the Region and Iraq. Our Region stands to benefit from a peaceful, democratic Iraq and we should aim to build a mutually beneficial partnership with the government in Baghdad. War reached our region and thousands of this our sons and daughters became victims. The strategy of the New Generation is for the Region to have a strong and mutually beneficial relationship with a democratic Iraq, where both respect each others institutions.'
Fourth, New Generation believes that none of the three above-mentioned points can be realized if the Kurdistan Region does not have a good relationship with neighboring countries, especially Iran and Turkey. This relationship must be one based on mutual respect. The fate of the Kurdistan Region is linked to those countries. Successful development of the Region hinges of having positive trade relations and a stable security situation with them. When in power, New Generation will attempt to strengthen these relationships without surrendering any of its autonomy. In exchange, Iran and Turkey should respect the Kurdistan Region, its government, and its people and treat it as a sovereignty entity. Conducting regional relations in this manner is immeasurably preferable to that of the past and it will be the goal of New Generation to do so.'
Political stability and peace leads to economic development: It is an issue of primary importance for the New Generation. because without a strong economy, we cannot realize the true potential of the Kurdistan Region. In the following pages, we outline the policy program of the New Generation Movement. In it we address the issues of the economic well-being of the people and government, the health care and education of its citizens, the environment, and the peshmerga. Without a strong economy, we cannot effectively tackle these issues. Without a healthy, well-educated, verdant, and secure society, we cannot meet our economic potential.'
This fifteen-year plan of the New Generation Movement has been divided into three different phases for each sector: a one-year plan, a four-year plan, and a fifteen-year plan. We have attempted to be as detailed and open as possible, while recognizing that some of the finer points will change as we adapt to new circumstances. Nevertheless, the values inherent to this plan transparency, good governance, accountability, and stability will not change. As a new political force, we offer a vision that looks forward to a Kurdistan Region that is stable, progressive, and prosperous and ask the people of Kurdistan to help us meet that goal.'
Controversies
On 22 April 2019, the party's Supreme Council and two prominent members of the Iraqi Parliament, Rabun Maroof and Sarkawt Shamsulddin published a statement on Facebook, which, among others, read
'The New Generation has been shifted from a political movement different from the dominant political model to a political band in which all of its institutions and the important decision-making bodies have been marginalized.'
They also stated that the New Generation Movement 'no longer enjoys collective decision making'. They accused the party leadership of getting 'involved in business and family to the extent that it is difficult to separate.'
On 25 April 2019, the Supreme Council of the New Generation Movement suspended two of their 'high-profile members' who publicly criticized the party. On the same day, a 'high-level official' of the Movement was arrested by the Sulaymaniyah police, following a complaint by Shadi Nawzad, a New Generation MP in the Kurdistan Parliament. She accused the New Generation Movement's leader, Shaswar Abdulwahid, and some factions within the party of blackmailing her and other lawmakers by circulating nude videos.
Still on the same day, New Generation leader Shaswar Abdulwahid disputed the accusations of mixing the family, politics and business, and accused the dissident members of the party of 'betraying' him, while speaking from London where he received medical care. He also went on rejecting claims about the lack of collective decision making, saying 'Why didn't they say the decisions were unilateral when I made decisions to make them lawmakers and heads of caucuses?'. Furthermore, he stated 'We have seventeen offices within New Generation: none of my family members are in charge of those offices.' He also hinted about possible KDP Kurdish Democratic Party, the largest party currently in the Kurdistan Parliament and PUK Patriotic Union of Kurdistan involvement, the largest party in Iraq's Sulaymaniyah Governorate; 'This is a disgusting plan by both parties in power, which are the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan in Sulaimani and the Kurdistan Democratic Party in Erbil,', he said, adding that he expects 'more [of the same] from both parties in the future,'.
In the following weeks, several members of the movement have been arrested including the secretary of the leader, the director of Nalia group founded by Abdulwahid and social media staff members. Some political parties outside the PUK and KDP condemned the arrests, including the Kurdistan Islamic Group Komal the Kurdistan Islamic Union KIU, and The Freedom Movement of Kurdistan Society Tevgera Azad.
On 10 May 2019, four arrested members of the New Generation said Abdulwahid ordered them to threaten Shadi Nawzad. They also claimed that the Movement has two social media departments; one that administrates and manages the official social media pages, and the other that uses non-direct accounts and pages to attack political leaders.
On the same day, Abdulwahid reacted with stating that the Sulaymaniyah Asayesh which detained the party members and released their confessions are to blame because they want to 'target and defame' the Movement. He added that 'When we took this path we knew that it is a difficult path. We also knew that changing a system or toppling a KDP and PUK establishment in Kurdistan is not easy'. He stated that 'We will continue and not give up'.
On 16 May 2019, the leader of the Movement, Shashwar Abdulwahid was detained after appearing in a Slimani Sulaymaniyah court. Earlier that day, he published a Facebook post, saying 'Concerning the arrest warrant, I am going to court myself as we have done it in the past... What we and our friends suffer is the price of our stances, not a mistake. Many have made big mistakes and committed heinous crimes, but walk freely in this county,', and stated 'Making big changes requires sacrifices, patience and determination. At the end of the day, the one who has faith in his cause will prevail.'. He added that 'We assure everyone that we will not give up and will become stronger,'.
Later, it was stated that Abdulwahid had gone on a hunger strike, with his health 'unstable' by 22 May 2019.
References
Category:2017 establishments in Iraq
Category:Political parties established in 2017
Category:Political parties in Kurdistan Region | wikipedia |
Babatunde Luqmon Adekunle born 10 October 1984 in Lagos is a Nigerian footballer who is currently a free agent.
Career
Lukmon played as 20yearold in the 200405 First League of Serbia and Montenegro with FK Borac Čačak and moved one year later to FK Vëllazërimi Kičevo in Macedonia. From June 2006 to December 2008, he was under contract by FK Rabotnički where he contributed a lot to the success of the team, playing a big part in the Qualifiers to the UEFA Champions League 200809.
On 22 December 2008, the Swiss Super League Club confirmed the signing of Lukmon on a four-and-a-half year contract with FC Luzern after a Swiss agent discovered him in a Champions League qualifying match against FC Inter Baku in Azerbaijan and brought him to FC Luzern. He got off to a sensational start with the team in the beginning of 2009.
In summer 2011, after having already played two league matches for Luzern in the 201112 season, Lukmon agreed to a one-year loan deal to play for SC Kriens in the Swiss Challenge League. At SC Kriens in the 201112 season he played 13 times in total for the club while on loan
On July 1, 2014 Adekunle signed for Swiss team Zug 94 having been released by FC Luzern. He scored his first goal for his new club against FC Grenchen in a 9-0 win.
Honours
FK Rabotnički
First Macedonian Football League: 200708
Macedonian Cup: 200708
FC Luzern
Swiss Cup Runner Up: 2011-12
References
External links
Profile at Srbijafudbal
Category:1984 births
Category:Living people
Category:Sportspeople from Lagos
Category:Yoruba sportspeople
Category:Association football defenders
Category:Nigerian footballers
Category:Nigerian expatriate footballers
Category:FK Borac Čačak players
Category:FK Vëllazërimi 77 players
Category:Expatriate footballers in Serbia and Montenegro
Category:FK Rabotnički players
Category:Expatriate footballers in North Macedonia
Category:FC Luzern players
Category:SC Kriens players
Category:Swiss Super League players
Category:Expatriate footballers in Switzerland | wikipedia |
Does ice made out of salt water melt slower than ice made of pure water?
I'm trying to make this whole bunch of ice bottles to cool down my little aquarium. What I want in the ice bottles is that, fter freezing the whole bottle full water into ice, *I need the ice to melt as slowly as possible*. My question is, will the ice melt slower if
the ice is made up of:
1. Pure tap water
2. Salt water (Salt mixing with water)
The reason I ask this because I was taught when I was young that sprinkling salt onto ice cubes will make it melt slower (it lowers the freezing point too.)
But I'm not sure if it is the same thing because this time the salt is mixed with the water.
Anybody could help me?
By shifting the melting point to a colder temperature, the surface of your salt water/ice will be below $0C$. Assuming the environment is warmer than that, the temperature difference will be greater with the salt water ice bottle than the pure water ice. This implies greater heat transfer and faster melting.
If you want it to melt more slowly, the simple answer would be to put a layer of insulation around the bottle. The rate of melting is related to the rate of heat transfer. This means your desire to melt as slowly as possible is equivalent to wanting it to cool the environment as slowly as possible. Insulation will accomplish this.
You can think of your bottles as having almost a set amount of cooling power, rather like the amount of energy in a battery. Adding salt doesn't increase the amount of cooling power. You can slow down how fast the battery is used, but that doesn't make it more useful. Here you can slow down how fast the ice melts, but that might not make it cool your aquarium more efficiently.
No, salt water does not (in that situation) seem to melt slower. In more detail:
When you freeze the water, you make ice.
When you freeze salt water, you make ice, and (depending on details a bit) either concentrated brine or ice and salt crystals. There is no (or very little) salt in the ice, it separates out into brine or salt.
OK?
Then, if you supply outside heat, the water will quickly warm to 0 C, and then slowly melt. The water plus salt will start to melt at a lower temperature, as you suggest. Since it starts to melt colder, heat will flow into it more quickly. There will be a little less heat adsorbed per gram of water: there will be both the heat of fusion of water less the heat of solution and heat of mixing of the water with the salt. This will also cause it to heat up more quickly, but "less effectively" - there will be a little less cooling of the rest of the world.
General principles
==================
You should probably just run the experiment over the weekend, but here are the relevant bits of physics:
Typically, saltwater freezes at a lower temperature, so you will probably reach a point where your freezer no longer fully changes the state of the water to solid. You probably want the freezing to happen no matter what.
The reason that you probably want freezing no matter what is because *the colder the bottle gets, the faster it will exchange heat with the aquarium.* The heat flow will be proportional to the difference in temperatures. Ice has this really nice property that it forms and melts all at one temperature, so you do not have to increase the rate at which cold is pouring out of the system in order to store more coldness in the system. That's a big win.
Whether the water should be salted or not depends heavily on the temperature of your freezer, among other things. Water has about twice the specific heat of ice, so that suggests that you want as much water-stage as possible. So you have two competing things here: first off that the heat transfer is greater for a lower freezing temperature, pushing the freezing temperature up; second, that the water holds more heat than the ice will, pushing the freezing temperature down.
Calculating the maximum time.
=============================
The model that you want is something like: from temperature $T\_0$ to $T\_f$, we have ice; then from temperature $T\_f$ to $0~^\circ\text{C}$ we have liquid, then we assume that the water and saltwater will heat up the same amount from then on. Your aquarium is at some temperature $T\_1$ and so the heat exchange will go like $\frac{dq}{dt} = k (T\_1 - T)$ for some unknown $k$, leading to temperature changes due to $q = c m T$ where $m$ is the mass and $c$ is the specific heat capacity per unit mass. Curves are then looking like $T\_\tau(t) = T\_1 - (T\_1 - \tau) e^{-kt/(cm)}.$
From $T\_0$ to $T\_f$ requires a time $t\_0$ such that $T\_{T\_0}(t\_0) = T\_f;$ solving this yields: $$ t\_0 = \frac{m ~ c\_\text{ice}}{k} ~\log\left(\frac{T\_1 - T\_0} {T\_1 - T\_f}\right).$$ Then there is some heat of fusion $h\_f$ with timescale $t\_f$ given simply by $ m ~h\_f = k (T\_1 - T\_f) t\_f,$ so that:$$t\_f = \frac{m~h\_f}{k (T\_1 - T\_f)}.$$Finally, heating up to $0~^\circ C$ takes a time$$t\_1 = \frac{m ~ c\_\text{water}}{k} ~\log\left(\frac{T\_1 - T\_f} {T\_1 - 0~^\circ C}\right).$$The total time is $t^\* = t\_0 + t\_f + t\_1$ which is maximized independently of $m/k$ by setting its derivative to zero,$$\frac{k}{m} \frac{dt^\*}{dT\_f} = \frac {c\_\text{ice}} {T\_1 - T\_f} + \frac{h\_f}{(T\_1 - T\_f)^2} - \frac {c\_\text{water}} {T\_1 - T\_f} = 0$$This is solved by $T\_f = T\_1 - h\_f / (c\_\text{water} - c\_\text{ice}).$
Now of course the addition of salt will change these parameters, but it's important to see the order of magnitude of what we're talking about here. This critical temperature $T^\* = h\_f / (c\_\text{water} - c\_\text{ice})$ is something like (300 kJ/kg) / (200 kJ (kg °C)) ~= 1.5 °C: it is **tiny** in comparison to $T\_1$.
This means that the extra heat capacity gotten from shifting the temperature at which the water freezes is tiny in comparison to the higher heat transfer: you want to push this temperature as *high* as possible rather than as *low* as possible. So you want **no salt**.
What else can you do?
=====================
The absolute simplest way to make the ice last longer is to lower the parameter $k$ above. The easiest way to do this is to get some air between the ice and the water. Those foam pads that one wraps around beers might work best for this, but they might also pollute the water and/or be eaten slowly by fish. You might instead try a zip-lock bag or even a combination of the two. Of course, then you will need to weight the bag down so that it stays in the water.
To a simplified, less dichotomous version of the question, that is, "Which melts faster? Ice from mostly pure water or ice from a salt water solution?"
Would a layman-friendly answer not be:
"It depends a great deal on the temperature outside of the ice"? (This is the same as saying the two different solutions have different specific freezing/melting temperatures and therefore different rates of melting at different temperatures, only less technical and more applicable for the layman).
Examples of the scope and scale involved if needed:
If it is just barely over approximately 21 degrees fahrenheit, ice from relatively pure water does not melt as it has a melting point of 32 degrees, while ice from "ideal" (lowest possible salt water freezing temperature) salt water will start to melt. Therefore, under these circumstances, salt water melts faster than "pure" water. Between 21 and 32 degrees is an ideal time to apply salt to ice on roads and sidewalks. Applying it at lower temperatures will be a waste of salt unless the temperatures increase soon while the salt remains. Applying at higher temperatures than 32 could still help with specific patches of ice where temps locally reach 21 to 32 but could otherwise be fairly inefficient, used to melt what is already melting.
If it is well over 21 degrees, say room temperature, there may well be a difference, in either direction, in part dependant on the volume and shape of the ice, in part dependant on the specific solution being frozen and temperature respective solutions are frozen at, but it could be relatively insignificant as it is well over the freezing/melting points of both "pure" water and salt water. Therefore, here, they could melt seemingly at the same rate or either/or depending on other factors.
If it is under 21 degrees, both will stay frozen solid. Therefore, neither is melting, so in a sense they are both (not) melting at the same rate. (You can experience this in the winter when attempting to melt ice with salt but it is about 10 below...doesn't really work as expected given salt's reputation!).
If the salt solution is frozen at just under 21 degrees but the "pure" water is frozen at only just under 32 degrees, and both are out in, say, 40 degree temperatures at the same time, it may very well be that the salt water melts considerably slower than the "pure" water, but having more to do with their respective temperatures at beginning of melt (21 and 32 -- easy to gauge if you check the respective solutions in the freezer every 10 minutes waiting for them to become solid ice) than their melting/freezing rates assuming same temperature of frozen solution at beginning of melt (say 20 and 20 -- hard to gauge without precise thermometer and thermostat control, as "pure" water ice at 32 and "pure" water ice at 21 will both be frozen solid and thus mostly indistinguishable). Therefore, occassionally "pure" water melts faster than salt water.
Fast and slow are rate of temperature changes
But most cooling situations we want the most heat (energy) removal values
and that is in Joules or BTU for a given mass.
That value is based on the heat of fusion for phase change from solid to liquid, plus the heat for heating the liquid above freezing, and heating the solid below freezing. For water, the phase change energy is about 75 times the specific heat of water. For simplification we can neglectg the small amount of energy involved in heating the liquid or the solid in the narrow range of typical cooling (refrigerating foods etc) and look at the energy in the phase change.
I believe that potable water will have a heat of fusion of 333 J/gm. So most of the cooling will occur at a steady temperature of 0C.
I also believe that gel and other forms of package ice, have a freezing temperature of less than 0C....which means the temperature plateau will occur at a lower than 'water freezing'. Also the additives generally lower the heat of fusion, meaning that they are have less cooling capacity per unit (mass). Two issues here.
A. From a purely theromdynamic cooling need, Ice is better than gels, for a given mass. It would be the cheaper form considering shipping weight. There may be chemical systems that provide more capacity.
B. If you have a product with water, that should not be frozen, then do not use gels as the temperature where the phase change energy absorbtion will occur below 'water freezing' temperature, possibly causing the product with water to freeze or solidify. That is an issue in transporting medications such as Insulin with water content, that can be damaged by 'freezing"
| stackexchange/physics |
incomplete obturation of the root canal system and presence of communication between the root canal system and its surrounding tissues can lead to failure in endodontic treatment .
orthograde or retrograde filling materials should three - dimensionally seal the root canal . occasionally ,
several different materials have been recommended as root - end filling materials , including amalgam , zinc oxide - eugenol , glass - ionomer cements , composite resins and more recently , mineral trioxide aggregate ( mta ) [ 25 ] .
mta has various clinical advantages , such as superior sealing ability , setting in a moist environment , biocompatibility and bactericidal activity .
unfortunately , delayed setting time and poor handling characteristics are the disadvantages of this material as a root - end filling material .
recently , a calcium - containing cement has been introduced to dentistry , referred to as calcium enriched mixture ( cem ) .
asgary et al . showed that cem comprises water - soluble calcium and phosphate and forms hydroxyapatite after setting .
the clinical uses of cem are the same as those of mta ; they have similar working time , ph and dimensional stability . in another study ,
asgary et al . showed that cem has significantly better antibacterial properties compared to mta .
cem can induce hard tissue healing , sets in humid environments and has appropriate setting time , good handling characteristics and an excellent seal when used as a root - end filling material . in some conditions in which anatomic access and retrofilling are difficult or impossible during periradicular surgery , and in cases requiring nonsurgical retreatment , in which the root canal is obstructed and access up to the working length is impossible , the obturating material can be placed via an orthograde technique , while nonsurgical retreatment is performed . in these instances , if periradicular surgery is subsequently required , the clinician may elect to resect the root end and expose the previously set mta , rather than placing new mta , as a root - end filling material . this way , root - end preparation and filling is no longer required and the stages of surgery are simplified and performed faster than conventional methods .
there is some concern that root resection may alter the seal of the previously set orthograde material .
the aim of this study was to assess the sealing ability of orthograde mta and cem in resected roots with fluid filtration method and to compare it with retrograde mta during conventional periradicular surgery .
fifty - one extracted human maxillary anterior teeth , with closed apices , single and straight root canals , without cracks , caries , restorations and resorption , were selected .
the teeth were stored in normal saline solution and kept moist before and during the study . to maintain uniformity of the root canal lengths , the teeth were cross - sectioned at the cej with a carborundum disk ( brasseler usa , savanna , ga ) to obtain 15-mm - long roots .
working length was determined by reducing 1 mm from a # 10 k - file ( dentsply maillefer , switzerland ) visible at the apex .
the root canals were instrumented up to a # 40 master apical file , 3 mm shorter than the working length using the step - back technique and the coronal portions were flared using gates - glidden drills # 2 , 3 and 4 ( dentsply maillefer , ballaigues , switzerland ) .
the root canals were irrigated with 1 ml of 5.25% sodium hypochlorite as an irrigant between each file . to remove the smear layer from the canal walls , each specimen was irrigated with 1 ml of 17% edta ( ariadent , asia chemi teb , tehran , iran ) , which was left in the canal for 1 minute , followed by a final rinse with 3 ml of 5.25% sodium hypochlorite solution .
the root canals were completely dried with paper points ( aria dent , tehran , iran ) before obturation .
two control groups of three teeth each ( one sample in the positive control group and one sample in the negative control group for each experimental group ) were prepared too . in the experimental groups a and b , mta ( proroot ; tulsa dental , tulsa , ok , usa ) and cem ( cem cement , yektaz dandan ; bionique dent , tehran , iran ) were mixed according to manufacturers instructions and placed in the canal in an orthograde direction with a messing gun ( needle gauge # 1 mm ) ( endogun ; medidenta , woodside , ny , usa ) and applied within the canal with an endodontic plugger ( size # b ) ( hu - friedy , chicago , il , usa ) to create an apical plug measuring 4 mm in thickness , 3 mm shorter than the working length .
the remaining canal space was left unfilled , but a cotton pellet moistened with saline was placed in contact with the materials .
the coronal seal was established by 23 mm of cavit ( premier dental , king of prussia , pa ) .
the samples were stored in an incubator at 37c and relative humidity for 48 hours . after setting the material , the 3-mm root - end portions of each sample in both groups
were resected perpendicular to the long axis of the root to expose the previously set material .
finally , there should be a 4-mm - thick plug of both materials in the apical part of the resected roots .
another radiograph was taken in this step to ensure the thickness and absence of vacuity in the root canal . in the experimental group c ,
the apical 3 mm of each sample was resected perpendicular to the long axis of the tooth and the root end was prepared to a depth of 3 mm using ultrasonic tip ( cpr-2d ) powered by an ultrasonic unit ( spartan , fenton , mo , usa ) .
to provide an intracanal matrix to condense the root - end filling material against , a customized gutta - percha cone ( ariadent , iran ) was prepared and adapted to the apical part of the canal , leaving a root - end void of 3 mm , which was confirmed by a periodontal probe and radiographs .
the canals and the cavities were dried with sterile paper points and mta was mixed according to the manufacturer s recommendations and placed in the root - end cavity with a messing gun and condensed with endodontic pluggers . after the cavity was completely filled , the intracanal barrier was replaced with moistened paper points and the density and depth of the filling material was verified by radiography .
three samples that were instrumented , but not obturated were used as the positive control group , but in the negative controls , the canals were obturated according to each experimental group ; group a with 4 mm mta orthograde , group b with 4 mm cem orthograde and group c with 3 mm mta retrograde .
two layers of nail varnish were applied to the surfaces of all the teeth in the experimental and positive control groups , excluding the 3-mm apical portion and the access cavity . in the negative control groups
, the entire root surfaces were covered with two layers of nail varnish , except for the access cavity .
all the nail varnish layers were covered with parafilm tapes ( parafilm m , laboratory film , chicago , usa ) for double sealing . the method used in this study for fluid filtration measurements
the apical parts of the specimens were inserted into a plastic tube ( guihua , china ) , measuring 5 mm in diameter and 4 cm in length , from the apical end and cyanoacrylate glue ( zapit , dental venture of america , anaheim hills , ca ) was applied circumferentially between the parafilm tapes on the outer root surface and the plastic tube .
the plastic tube was attached to a micropipette ( microcaps , fisher scientific , philadelphia , pa ) via a tri - valve tube and all the system was filled with distilled water .
the fluid filtration system measured water movement through the obturated root canal under a constant pressure of 0.5 atm by monitoring the movement of an air bubble within the micropipette .
an oxygen tank equipped with a manometer ( to precise adjustment of pressure ) was utilized .
the movement of the air bubble was measured in mm / min and by using the volume of the micropipette , this was converted to l / min .
apical sealing ability of each sample was measured at 2-minute intervals for a duration of 8 minutes and the average value was recorded .
the amount of microleakage was expressed as l / min / cmh2o . statistical analysis of the data was accomplished using kruskal - wallis test .
fifty - one extracted human maxillary anterior teeth , with closed apices , single and straight root canals , without cracks , caries , restorations and resorption , were selected .
the teeth were stored in normal saline solution and kept moist before and during the study . to maintain uniformity of the root canal lengths , the teeth were cross - sectioned at the cej with a carborundum disk ( brasseler usa , savanna , ga ) to obtain 15-mm - long roots .
working length was determined by reducing 1 mm from a # 10 k - file ( dentsply maillefer , switzerland ) visible at the apex .
the root canals were instrumented up to a # 40 master apical file , 3 mm shorter than the working length using the step - back technique and the coronal portions were flared using gates - glidden drills # 2 , 3 and 4 ( dentsply maillefer , ballaigues , switzerland ) .
the root canals were irrigated with 1 ml of 5.25% sodium hypochlorite as an irrigant between each file . to remove the smear layer from the canal walls , each specimen was irrigated with 1 ml of 17% edta ( ariadent , asia chemi teb , tehran , iran ) , which was left in the canal for 1 minute , followed by a final rinse with 3 ml of 5.25% sodium hypochlorite solution .
the root canals were completely dried with paper points ( aria dent , tehran , iran ) before obturation .
two control groups of three teeth each ( one sample in the positive control group and one sample in the negative control group for each experimental group ) were prepared too . in the experimental groups a and b , mta ( proroot ; tulsa dental , tulsa , ok , usa ) and cem ( cem cement , yektaz dandan ; bionique dent , tehran , iran ) were mixed according to manufacturers instructions and placed in the canal in an orthograde direction with a messing gun ( needle gauge # 1 mm ) ( endogun ; medidenta , woodside , ny , usa ) and applied within the canal with an endodontic plugger ( size # b ) ( hu - friedy , chicago , il , usa ) to create an apical plug measuring 4 mm in thickness , 3 mm shorter than the working length .
the remaining canal space was left unfilled , but a cotton pellet moistened with saline was placed in contact with the materials .
the coronal seal was established by 23 mm of cavit ( premier dental , king of prussia , pa ) .
the samples were stored in an incubator at 37c and relative humidity for 48 hours . after setting the material , the 3-mm root - end portions of each sample in both groups
were resected perpendicular to the long axis of the root to expose the previously set material .
finally , there should be a 4-mm - thick plug of both materials in the apical part of the resected roots .
another radiograph was taken in this step to ensure the thickness and absence of vacuity in the root canal . in the experimental group c ,
the apical 3 mm of each sample was resected perpendicular to the long axis of the tooth and the root end was prepared to a depth of 3 mm using ultrasonic tip ( cpr-2d ) powered by an ultrasonic unit ( spartan , fenton , mo ,
usa ) . to provide an intracanal matrix to condense the root - end filling material against
, a customized gutta - percha cone ( ariadent , iran ) was prepared and adapted to the apical part of the canal , leaving a root - end void of 3 mm , which was confirmed by a periodontal probe and radiographs .
the canals and the cavities were dried with sterile paper points and mta was mixed according to the manufacturer s recommendations and placed in the root - end cavity with a messing gun and condensed with endodontic pluggers .
after the cavity was completely filled , the intracanal barrier was replaced with moistened paper points and the density and depth of the filling material was verified by radiography .
three samples that were instrumented , but not obturated were used as the positive control group , but in the negative controls , the canals were obturated according to each experimental group ; group a with 4 mm mta orthograde , group b with 4 mm cem orthograde and group c with 3 mm mta retrograde .
two layers of nail varnish were applied to the surfaces of all the teeth in the experimental and positive control groups , excluding the 3-mm apical portion and the access cavity . in the negative control groups ,
the entire root surfaces were covered with two layers of nail varnish , except for the access cavity .
all the nail varnish layers were covered with parafilm tapes ( parafilm m , laboratory film , chicago , usa ) for double sealing .
the method used in this study for fluid filtration measurements was previously described by javidi et al . .
the apical parts of the specimens were inserted into a plastic tube ( guihua , china ) , measuring 5 mm in diameter and 4 cm in length , from the apical end and cyanoacrylate glue ( zapit , dental venture of america , anaheim hills , ca ) was applied circumferentially between the parafilm tapes on the outer root surface and the plastic tube .
the plastic tube was attached to a micropipette ( microcaps , fisher scientific , philadelphia , pa ) via a tri - valve tube and all the system was filled with distilled water .
the fluid filtration system measured water movement through the obturated root canal under a constant pressure of 0.5 atm by monitoring the movement of an air bubble within the micropipette .
an oxygen tank equipped with a manometer ( to precise adjustment of pressure ) was utilized .
the movement of the air bubble was measured in mm / min and by using the volume of the micropipette , this was converted to l / min .
apical sealing ability of each sample was measured at 2-minute intervals for a duration of 8 minutes and the average value was recorded .
apical microleakage values ( means and standard deviations ) of the groups a ( mta orthograde ) , b ( cem orthograde ) and c ( mta retrograde ) were 2.3110 ( 0.3210 ) , 3.3310 ( 0.2910 ) and 4.4210 ( 0.4010 ) l.min.cmh2o , respectively ( table 1 ) .
the positive controls showed an excessive amount of leakage , significantly more than the experimental groups , while the specimens in the negative control group showed no microleakage .
kruskal - wallis test showed no significant differences between the groups ( p= 0.154 ) ; however , group c exhibited more leakage than the other groups .
mta may also be placed either as an apical plug or to obturate the entire root canal using an orthograde technique . in these instances ,
if periradicular surgery is subsequently required , the root - end fragment may be resected and the previously set material will be exposed .
the sealing ability of various orthograde or retrograde filling materials have been assessed by dye , radioisotope , and bacterial penetration , scanning electron microscopy , electrochemical , and fluid filtration techniques .
this in vitro study evaluated the effect of root resection on the sealing ability of orthograde mta and cem plugs compared to conventional mta retrofillings by using a fluid filtration device .
the validity and reliability of the device used in this study is proved by javidi et al . .
no significant differences were observed between the apical seal of resected mta- and cem - placed orthograde and the apical seal of mta - placed retrograde as a root - end filling .
these findings corroborate with previous findings of andelin et al . and milani et al .
milani et al evaluated the sealing ability of two retrofilled groups of mta and cem and two groups with apical plugs of these materials by dye leakage method .
the resected groups showed more microleakage than the retrofilled groups , which was significant in cem groups .
they concluded that root - end resection increases microleakage of cem , but the sealing ability of mta is not affected by root resection .
they also reported less microleakage in cem compared to mta , with no significant differences , consistent with the results of this study , in which there were no significant differences in sealing abilities of mta and cem orthograde apical plugs .
it is pertinent to point out that in the present study , mta and cem were utilized alone in the root canals and the remainder of the canal was left empty .
although this practice is a departure from what would have been done clinically , this design was adopted to evaluate the definite microleakage of obturating materials without interfering with the sealing capacity of gutta - percha and sealer .
in addition , in retrograde fillings the moisture absorbs from the end of the root not from the internal of the root , but in the present study moistened paper points were placed in the root canal to assimilate with the other groups . in the present study , based on a study by hachmeister et al . , apical plugs measuring 4 mm in thickness were used , hong and de leimburg also used plugs measuring 2 mm and 1 , 2 and 3 mm in thickness , respectively , reporting that all had acceptable seal .
evaluated the minimum thickness of mta apical plug to provide an acceptable seal after root resection .
they reported that root resection did not significantly influence the sealing ability of mta when at least 3 mm of the material was left in the canal .
their findings are consistent with those of the current study , in which resection of the 4-mm apical plug did not affect the sealing properties of the material .
compared the sealing ability of a 35-mm - thick mta apical plug with the whole - canal orthograde mta fillings and concluded that the whole - canal obturation technique provided a better seal during the first 48 hours .
it is clear that increasing the plug thickness may improve resistance to leakage . in the present study ,
the thickness of orthograde fillings ( mta and cem ) was 4 mm , but retrograde mta was 3 mm in depth .
ultrasonic tips are 3 mm in height that produce the minimum accepted thickness ( 3 mm ) for retrograde fillings and the clinicians have no opportunity to increase it . in orthograde fillings ,
we choose 4 mm thickness to assimilate with the retrograde group , because when the root was resected it might cut some of the fillings too .
, has been demonstrated to be an acceptable method for microleakage assessment and it is widely used to test the sealing ability of various materials in endodontics . this technique provides a quantitative measurement of microleakage over a period of time and is a non - destructive method that allows repeated evaluation of leakage of the same samples . however , there is no standardization in the materials and methods of this technique .
besides , the equipment and devices may not be found everywhere . in the present study , microleakage of each sample was measured at 2-minute intervals for 8 minutes , similar to the methods used by yildirim et al . , lamb et al . , yatsushiro et al . and garip et al .
the fluid filtration test was conducted under 0.5 atmospheric constant pressure according to a previous study by the authors . as a clinical consideration ,
an important issue is the healing process after using set or fresh mta , which has been assessed in some studies [ 34 , 35 ] . in an in vivo study , habibi et al
. declared that there were no significant differences between healing processes and hard tissue formation with the use of set and fresh mta during surgery on cat teeth .
apaydin et al . compared the healing processes and extent of cementum deposition on the resected set mta with those of fresh mta as a root - end filling material in dogs .
based on their results , it appears that fresh mta is more inductive than resected set mta .
however , the presence of resected set mta adjacent to periradicular tissues did not prevent regeneration of these tissues in the majority of cases .
based on the results of this study it appears that the sealing ability of mta and cem placed in an orthograde technique and allowed to set is not affected by root - end resection .
this may prove to be beneficial in cases where difficult access and isolation might prevent placement of mta as a root - end filling material . | pubmed |
a two - way process of exchanging or shaping ideas , feelings , and information between dentist and patient has created keen interest in dental society . the best way to achieve effectively exchanging and shaping ideas depend on the credibility of the dentist that is how he defines empathy practically .
empathy is to see with the eyes of other , to hear with the ears of another , and to feel with the heart of another ( alfred adler ) .
empathy was derived from two greek terms , em and pathos , meaning feeling into and has its origin from the german word einfulung .
the basic difference between empathy and sympathy is that empathy means intellectual understanding , while sympathy means sharing sentiments .
the american dental education association always emphasized on including empathy as a part of the dental curriculum as it plays an important role in healthy dentist and patient relationship .
sherman and cramer reported a similar decline in empathy levels among the dental students during the 2 year of dental training , but in contrary some studies reported vice - versa . in view of such varying empathy findings from different countries ,
it is the need of the hour to understand empathy levels among dental students in the indian context .
the present study is the first of its kind in india and few among the world to explore the empathy level among dental students .
to measure the self - reported empathy levels among dental undergraduate and postgraduate students of the dental program ( bds , mds)to review the trend of changes in empathy level with experience , age , and gender among dental undergraduate and postgraduate students .
to measure the self - reported empathy levels among dental undergraduate and postgraduate students of the dental program ( bds , mds ) to review the trend of changes in empathy level with experience , age , and gender among dental undergraduate and postgraduate students
to measure the self - reported empathy levels among dental undergraduate and postgraduate students of the dental program ( bds , mds)to review the trend of changes in empathy level with experience , age , and gender among dental undergraduate and postgraduate students .
to measure the self - reported empathy levels among dental undergraduate and postgraduate students of the dental program ( bds , mds ) to review the trend of changes in empathy level with experience , age , and gender among dental undergraduate and postgraduate students
a cross - sectional institutional and self - reporting questionnaire based study was conducted among students pursuing their graduation and postgraduation in two private dental institutions located in the north west part of the country , rajasthan , india .
the curriculum in india pertaining dental education offers 5 years course during graduation and 3 years of course during postgraduation .
the present study was cleared by the ethical committee of the sdcri and maharaja ganga singh dental college .
this research has been conducted in full accordance with the world medical association declaration of helsinki .
data were obtained from the 1 to final ( 4 ) year students , interns , and postgraduate students enrolled in bachelor of dental surgery and master of dental surgery program , respectively , in these two institutions from january to april 2015 .
the students were briefly explained about the nature of the study , and their written consent was taken .
the inclusion criterion for the present study was that students must have completed 6 months following admission .
those students who were either unable to provide the required information or incomplete questionnaire form were excluded .
the initial sample consisted of 1041 students but after applying the inclusion and exclusion criteria , the final sample comprised 978 students .
health profession students ( jspe - hps ) version questionnaire ( already validated ) was administered to assess the empathy level .
the questionnaire consists of twenty components using 7-point likert scale ( for every single component ) and score ranges from 20 to 140 with upper values representing greater empathy . along with jspe - hps questionnaire ,
there are four subcategories measuring different dimensions of empathy such as perspective taking , compassionate care , standing in patient 's shoes , and personal distress .
confirmatory factor analysis was used to recognize the dimensionality of the jspe - hps version using ( a ) kaiser 's criteria , ( b ) an eigenvalue ( > 1.25 was used ) , and ( c ) only retaining items if coefficients were 0.30 . after evaluation of results , 3-factor pathway was selected , i.e. , perspective taking , compassionate care , as well as standing in patient 's shoes .
the above outcome resulted in approximately 37% of the overall described variance . among the components ,
( armonk , ny : ibm corp ) for generation of descriptive , as well as inferential statistics . the statistical significant difference among groups
the female : male ratio in the present study was 2.7:1 [ table 1 ] .
there was a statistically significant difference reported when empathy was tested in relation to gender ( between males and females ) , as well as for age ( p < 0.05 ) .
the lowest and highest mean empathy score was found in postgraduate ( mean = 108.77 , standard deviation [ sd ] = 9.12 ) and 1 year ( mean = 117.23 , sd = 14.19 ) dental students , respectively .
empathy score when tested according to experience using anova and post hoc test was found to be statistically substantial ( p < 0.05 ) .
different variables retorts on the jefferson scale of physician empathy health profession student 's ten components were computed on subscale-1 and components value arraying between 0.697 and 0.518 describing 22.85% of the variability .
the most important component was health - care providers understanding of the emotional status of the patients , as well as that of their families ' .
five components were computed on subscale-2 and components value arraying between 0.207 and 0.023 describing 10.18% of the variability .
five components were computed on subscale-3 and components value arraying between 0.572 and 0.327 describing 9.34% of the variability .
two components were common among subscale 2 and subscale 3 , i.e. , component 14 ( i believe that emotion has no place in the treatment of medical illness ) and component 11 ( patients ' illnesses can be cured only by targeted treatment ; therefore , health - care providers ' emotional ties with their patients do not have a significant influence in treatment outcomes ) .
the required cronbach 's alpha value for satisfactory internal consistency should be above 0.70 and in the present study cronbach 's value for subscale 1 , 2 , and 3 were 0.79 , 0.76 , and 0.48 , respectively [ table 2 ] .
component analyses and adjusted score correlations of the jefferson scale of physician empathy health profession student 's few components brought out eminent mean values : patients feel better when their health - care providers understand their feelings
i believe that empathy is an important factor in patients ' treatment brought out a mean value of 5.27 ( sd = 1.31 ) .
the aim of the contemporary study was to define the properties of jse - hps , as well as to measure the empathy among students of dental colleges in sri ganganagar , rajasthan , india .
the present study reported that postgraduate students had statistically lower empathy score as compared to all other years of students .
this difference may be due to the fact that during the initiation of the dental course , students believe in idealism , i.e. , sharing the feeling of the patients but with the progression of the dental course these feelings vanish , i.e. , idealism gives way to the realization ( means to get through the various level of dental degree meritoriously , requisite is to acquire enormous dimensions of facts ) .
hence , significant perspectives such as sharing the thoughts and feelings of the patients are put aside and emphasis swings on facts - based examinations .
the mean empathy score of the present study ranges from 103 to 117 which is similar with the other studies among dental and medical students , while in contrary , other studies reported 7890 mean empathy score . while analyzing the empathy among male and female in the present study , females showed higher empathy level than males which is similar with the other studies , but this was against the studies done by rose et al . and babar et al .
this might be due to the fact that women 's brains probably show more empathy than men 's brains .
when females were probed to recognize other human 's feeling , female 's brain action showed that they themselves feel the same sentiments as well while in contrary male 's brain action showed noetic assessment a more objective position . in the present study
, it was found that empathy score differs by age while the same was not reported by babar et al .
subscale-1 , 2 , and 3 are parallel with the studies described previously . as empathy is an essential component of maintaining healthy rapport between the dentist and patient , thus amending empathy is the vital chore of health training . recently ,
bonvicini et al . conducted a study regarding communication skills exercise to find whether it will result in rise of the empathy level or not .
the conclusion of the study was that communication skill exercise led to increase in empathy among the students .
the present study showed that empathy levels were dropping with the progression of dental course .
therefore , the need is to introduce exercise regarding empathy among dental students at the initiation of and during their dental course .
however , there is an argument regarding the introduction of training in empathy as newton et al .
the author proposes to introduce administrative modifications which motivate students scholastically and sensitively during their dental course .
this will result in interprofessional education , growth of team effort principle , as well as alterations in judgment method .
hence , results of the present study can be implemented among other dental institutions also .
the limitation of the present study is that valuation of empathy was constructed on subjective evaluation of a validated questionnaire ; therefore , observational approaches such as the history - taking rating scale could be used with jse - hps to measure empathy level in dental students .
cross - sectional studies make it impossible to understand the process of changes in empathy level through the years of dental course .
dental health educators should consider this fall in empathy seriously as early as possible during the dental course .
empathy - related teaching exercises must be implemented among the dental students to endorse the growth of empathy so that fall in empathy should be prevented .
more longitudinal research is required to investigate the outcome of communication exercise in cultivating empathy among dental students .
the authors of this manuscript declare that they have no conflicts of interest , real or perceived , financial or nonfinancial in this article .
the authors of this manuscript declare that they have no conflicts of interest , real or perceived , financial or nonfinancial in this article . | pubmed |
The San Luis Rey River is a river in northern San Diego County, California.
The river's headwaters are in the Palomar Mountain Range and Cleveland National Forest, near Palomar Mountain and the Santa Rosa Mountains. The river mouth, on the Pacific Ocean, is in northern Oceanside. The San Luis Rey River bike path runs along it for its last .
The river is over long and drains . There is little water in the river during most of the year, but it can have very large flows during winter storms.
Course
The San Luis Rey River rises in two main branches. The mainstem starts east of Rocky Mountain in the Cleveland National Forest and flows generally south-southwest. The West Fork's headwaters rise as a pair of tiny streams, Fry Creek and Iron Springs Creek, just to the north of Palomar Mountain. These two streams combine into the West Fork, which flows southeast through the Mendenhall Valley. The West Fork joins the main stem at Lake Henshaw, a reservoir formed by a dam across the main stem San Luis Rey River.
From the base of Henshaw Dam, the river winds west along the foot of the Palomars, followed by California State Route 76. It then bends southwest into a gorge. It leaves the canyon at the wide and spacious Pauma Valley, where it becomes a wash surrounded on both sides by agricultural fields. Potrero and Pauma Creeks enter from the right, then Frey Creek and Agua Tibia Creek as the river travels northwest. The river turns west, passing Pala, flowing through a patchwork of privately owned, government-owned and Native American lands. It then crosses under Interstate 15 and exits the foothills of the mountains near Bonsall.
After passing Bonsall the river flows generally southwest, through the city of Oceanside. Although usually dry up to this point the river starts to contain water as it nears the mouth, both from seeps and from tidal activity that forms a lagoon at the mouth of the river. The San Luis Rey empties into the Pacific north of Oceanside, about south of the Santa Margarita River and about north of San Diego.
Water resources
The dam that forms Lake Henshaw is the only one directly on the river itself. However, tributaries in the river's watershed are extensively dammed. The San Luis Rey River has natural river banks, except for the last where it flows through a earthen channel with levees to prevent stormwater from flooding Oceanside.
Urbanization, mining, and agriculture have caused substantial deterioration of water quality in the drainage basin. Since Lake Henshaw is relatively close to the headwaters, it is a source of drinking water. However, the water in the lower reaches of the river is used for groundwater recharge only. A bridge was completed across the river near its mouth in 2009, replacing a small causeway that washed away in storms.
History
The river was within the homeland of the Luiseño people, or Payómkawichum meaning People of the West in the Luiseño language, for many centuries before Spanish immigrants occupied their ancestral lands. They are a southern tribe of the indigenous peoples of California.
The first European land exploration of Alta California, the Spanish Portolà expedition, stopped at the river not far from the coast for two nights on its way north, July 1819, 1769. On the return journey to the new pueblo of San Diego, the party again camped near the river on January 22, 1770. Franciscan missionary Juan Crespi noted in his diary, ...we descended to a large and beautiful valley, so green that it seemed to us that it had been planted. We crossed it straight to the north and pitched camp near a large pool of water, one of several in the plain. At the extremities or ends of the plain there are two large villages.
Mission San Luis Rey de Francia The Mission of Saint Louis King of France was founded east of the river in 1798 by padre Fermín Lasuén, becoming the 18th of the 21 Spanish Missions of California. The river took its current name from part of the mission's name.
In popular culture
The 2010 Rockstar Games release Red Dead Redemption features a river inspired by the San Luis Rey. The San Luis River serves as the border between the Western Border States and Mexico and is one of the hallmarks of the game.
Gallery
References
Busch Gardens - San Luis Rey River
Project Clean Water - San Luis Rey River
Category:Rivers of San Diego County, California
Category:Cleveland National Forest
Category:Oceanside, California
Category:Santa Rosa Mountains California
Category:Peninsular Ranges
Category:Freshwater ecoregions
Category:Watersheds of California
Category:Rivers of Southern California | wikipedia |
two major challenges of contemporary particle physics are the search for beyond - standard model physics and a better understanding of the non - perturbative low - energy sector of the strong interaction .
typically both aspects intermix when it comes to high - precision determinations of low - energy quantities and the corresponding standard model predictions .
if a low - energy observable is potentially influenced by quantum effects from new particles , then it is also influenced by hadronic loop effects .
the latter often if not always constitute the main uncertainty of the standard model prediction . on the other hand , new physics
can only be revealed if a significant deviation between experiment and standard model calculation is observed .
of course , this requires small uncertainties for both the experimental and the standard model result .
our poor understanding of non - perturbative qcd could provide a serious hurdle for a reliable standard model calculation and/or for a reliable uncertainty estimate of such a calculation .
two quantities of current interest which might indicate some deviation between experiment and the standard model are the gyromagnetic ratio of the muon @xcite and the rare decay of the neutral pion into electron and positron @xcite .
an important quantity that enters both observables is the pion transition form factor , i.e. the three - point correlator between a neutral pion and two electromagnetic currents .
two tasks are carried out in the present work : first , the pion - vector - vector ( @xmath1 ) correlator is determined by combining high - energy quark - based information with low(er)-energy hadronic information .
we follow the general approach proposed in @xcite with some refinements .
second , we explore some phenomenological consequences of our correlator and focus in particular on the rare pion decay @xmath13 . here
we include also qed radiative corrections along the lines of @xcite .
two limits of qcd are of particular interest for low - energy hadron physics : the chiral limit where the masses of the two or three lightest quarks are neglected @xcite and the limit where the number of quark colors , @xmath14 , is sent to infinity @xcite .
concerning the @xmath1 correlator the chiral anomaly fixes the low - energy strength unambiguously in the chiral limit . for a large number of colors
there are infinitely many , infinitely narrow , i.e. stable , quark - antiquark states for every combination of quantum numbers .
they show up as poles in the @xmath15-point correlators of quark currents . in the real world of three colors
the hadrons generically turn to unstable resonances because the hadronic interactions do not vanish any more .
the poles in the correlators turn to cuts ( and poles in other riemann sheets ) .
the cuts start at the corresponding many - body thresholds .
thus the relevance of the large-@xmath14 limit for the real world is highest , if one considers hadrons which are narrow and/or kinematical regions where there are no ( significant ) cuts .
this is our guiding principle when exploring phenomenological consequences .
concerning form factors there are no cuts in the space - like region . in the standard model the rare decay of the pion into electron and positron
is caused by a loop where the pion first turns into a pair of ( real or virtual ) photons ; see fig .
[ fig : piee ] below . at this vertex
the pion transition form factor sneaks in .
if the form factor was replaced by a constant , the loop would diverge @xcite .
in qcd the pion transition form factor is suppressed for large virtualities @xcite .
this leads to a finite result for the @xmath11-@xmath16-@xmath17 amplitude at the one - loop level of the standard model calculation .
thus for a quantitative determination of the branching ratio of the considered rare pion decay it is necessary to know where and how fast the pion transition form factor reaches its asymptotic form which in turn depends on the various combinations of virtualities .
these considerations show that one needs information from various qcd regimes : the threshold regime governed by the chiral anomaly , the regime of hadronic resonances , and , finally , the regime of asymptotically high energies dictated by quarks and asymptotic freedom .
these regimes are connected in the approach of @xcite where the operator product expansion ( ope ) for various three - point correlators of quark currents is matched to a hadronic ansatz that satisfies the chiral constraints for the low - energy limit .
this ansatz is furthermore based on a truncation of the infinite tower of stable hadronic states that appears in the limit of a large number of colors . in principle
one can work out arbitrary many orders in the ope and match to the parameters that emerge with the tower of hadron states .
however , the higher orders in the ope contain unknown quark and gluon condensates of high dimensionality .
thus in practice the model dependence emerges from a selection of the to be matched ope constraints and from the choice where to truncate the tower of hadron states .
using one hadron multiplet per channel and leading - order ope constraints has been studied in detail in @xcite .
this truncation is called `` lowest - meson dominance '' ( lmd ) . in the present work we will explore the consequences of having two hadron multiplets per channel . in the language of
@xcite our approach would be called `` lmd+v+p '' . to avoid this clumsy name
we decided to introduce the name `` two - hadron saturation '' ( ths ) .
concerning our quantity of interest , the @xmath1 correlator and the corresponding pion transition form factor , the starting point on the level of quark currents is the pseudoscalar - vector - vector ( @xmath0 ) correlator .
the consequences of lmd for this quantity have been studied in @xcite .
an application to the rare pion decay to electron and positron was presented in @xcite .
two vector multiplets have also been considered in @xcite ; see also @xcite where this has been used for the rare pion decay .
what makes our approach different from previous works is that we explore in detail the consequence of two multiplets in _ each _ channel and that we fit and/or compare to data on the @xmath18 correlator .
in fact , including a second multiplet in the vector channel involves the energy region of about 1.4 gev @xcite . in this region
there is also a pseudoscalar multiplet .
thus the extension from lmd to two multiplets for a channel suggests to use two multiplets for _ every _ channel . concerning the second aspect , the interrelation to the @xmath18 correlator
, we will come back to this issue below , after discussing in more detail the pertinent high - energy constraints .
there is yet one more short - distance limit to be considered . instead of studying the high - energy limit of correlators of quark currents ( ope )
, one can also study the high - energy limit of correlators that involve specific asymptotic states like hadrons or photons together with one or several quark currents .
in particular the high - energy behavior of the pion - photon - vector correlator has recently gained much attention since the babar data @xcite seem to contradict the brodsky lepage ( b - l ) scaling limit @xcite while the belle data @xcite seem to support it . using ths we are able to satisfy all leading - order ope constraints for the @xmath0 correlator and in addition the b - l constraint for the pion - photon - vector correlator . while lmd satisfies the same ope constraints
, it violates the b - l constraint as can be easily deduced from the explicit form given in @xcite ; see also the discussion in @xcite . as we will show below
, the constraints from the leading order of the ope , from b - l and from the chiral anomaly together fix the ths approach to the @xmath1 correlator up to one single parameter , which we call @xmath19 .
if the invariant mass of one of the vector currents in this correlator is set to zero , i.e. for the pion - photon - vector correlator , then @xmath19 drops out .
in other words we have full predictive power for this correlator .
aiming at the rare pion decay into electron and positron one needs the full information on the @xmath1 correlator for arbitrary invariant masses of the two vector currents . in principle , the parameter @xmath19 would be best determined from data on the @xmath1 correlator with both invariant masses being different from real photons .
unfortunately such data do not exist .
in this situation we turn to the second - best choice . projecting the @xmath1 correlator on one of the vector mesons that we include in ths
yields a 3-point correlator for the pion , the vector meson and a quark current with vector quantum numbers . given that our approach is based on the large-@xmath14 limit where mesons are approximated by infinitely narrow states , it is suggestive to use a narrow vector meson . since phenomenologically and in the large-@xmath14
limit the pion decouples from the @xmath20 meson @xcite , we are left with the @xmath4 meson as the best choice for a vector meson .
consequently we will use data on the @xmath4-@xmath5 transition form factor @xcite to fix our remaining parameter @xmath19 .
the @xmath1 correlator obtained in this way from ths shows an awesome behavior : if the virtuality of one vector current becomes large while the other is set to zero ( photon case ) , the asymptotic b - l limit is reached rather fast , resembling essentially strict vector - meson dominance ( vmd ) @xcite . the scale that defines where the approach to the asymptotic limit sets in is basically given by the mass of the @xmath21/@xmath4 meson . on the other hand ,
if both vector currents have the same large virtuality , the corresponding asymptotic limit is reached very late for the @xmath1 correlator as obtained from ths .
this finding points to the relevance of details of hadronic physics above 1 gev . for this case
the @xmath1 correlator from vmd falls off much faster than demanded by qcd , while for lmd the asymptotic limit is reached much earlier than for ths .
since the rare decay @xmath13 is sensitive to both high- and low - energy physics , it is interesting to study how this intriguing behavior of the @xmath1 correlator obtained from ths influences the branching ratio of this rare process .
before going into the details of our findings we shall compare our approach to related ones from the literature .
the @xmath4-@xmath5 transition form factor and related quantities have also been addressed in @xcite where the ground - state vector mesons are treated as light degrees of freedom . by construction
the approach is restricted to low energies , i.e. high - energy constraints were not considered .
nonetheless , it turns out that the ths result for the @xmath4-@xmath5 transition form factor is numerically very close to the one from @xcite .
conceptually close in spirit to ths is the lagrangian approach utilized , e.g. , in @xcite ( earlier references can be traced back from these works ) .
also here hadron resonances in the large-@xmath14 limit are used to interpolate between the low - energy region governed by chiral perturbation theory and the high - energy region governed by the ope or quark scaling considerations . in
@xcite a @xmath0 and a corresponding @xmath1 correlator are constructed with one multiplet in the vector channel and two multiplets in the pseudoscalar channel ( i.e. the goldstone bosons and one resonance multiplet ) . for an extension to two multiplets in the vector channel
see @xcite .
the @xmath1 correlator from @xcite satisfies the b - l constraint , but the @xmath0 correlator satisfies only one leading - order ope constraint , not all of them . as shown in @xcite the lagrangian utilized in @xcite is not capable to provide correlators that satisfy all ope constraints ; see also the discussion in @xcite . instead of the other ope constraints on the @xmath0 correlator a high - energy constraint based on quark counting rules
is imposed on the @xmath22 correlator in @xcite . in our work
we impose high - energy constraints on the @xmath0 correlator ( ths satisfies _ all _ leading - order ope constraints ) and on the @xmath1 correlator ( the b - l limit ) , but not on the @xmath22 or @xmath23 correlator .
our philosophy is that we take the first multiplets to resemble the corresponding ground - state physical particles but the second multiplets to mimic the effect of the tower of infinitely many excited states .
since we study with @xmath0 an order parameter of chiral symmetry breaking @xcite one expects that the second multiplets are close to the physical states that are the first excitations on top of the ground states .
however , the weighted average of the whole tower of states might shift the effective mass higher up . in the present work
we explore the uncertainty of the ths approximation by changing the masses of the second multiplets from the first to the second physical excitations . concerning the @xmath1 correlator we expect to obtain reasonable results because the pion might not resolve too many details of the intermediate - energy region . thus replacing the tower of excited resonances by the respective lowest excitation and demanding high - energy constraints for the @xmath1 correlator might be good enough .
in contrast , a @xmath22 or @xmath23 correlator resolves more from the intermediate - energy region because the vector meson induces a larger mass scale .
( the same would apply to a @xmath24 correlator . ) therefore to satisfy high - energy constraints in this case we expect that one would need a more detailed modeling than just having ths , i.e. one excitation ( plus the ground state ) in each channel .
it might be worth to explore a three - hadron saturation scenario , but this is beyond the scope of the present work .
therefore we demand constraints on the @xmath0 and @xmath1 correlators , but disregard constraints for three - point correlators of one pseudoscalar meson , one vector meson and one vector quark current .
for the same reason we only consider leading , but not subleading high - energy / ope constraints . from a formal point of view
our approach is close to the successive pad approximations as utilized , e.g. , in @xcite .
our correlators are also approximated by rational functions . in our approach , however , the poles of the correlators are related to physical states ( in the large-@xmath14 limit ) . in contrast ,
in the pad framework of @xcite one determines the rational functions by fits to data .
it is not the purpose of this pad approach to look for the poles of the obtained rational functions .
in fact , there are no physical restrictions from outside that would make sure that these poles correspond in any way to physical hadrons . but
this is what s - matrix theory suggests ( in the large-@xmath14 limit ) : anything beyond polynomials should be caused by unitarity , analyticity , crossing symmetry and physical states .
our work is complementary to the dispersion theoretical approach of @xcite ; see also @xcite . while we can not expect to reach the accuracy of a dispersive approach concerning low - energy quantities , our framework has the advantage to provide a smooth and physical connection between the low- and high - energy region and between the quark based and hadron based correlators . in practice ,
dispersive calculations are based on an excellent account of the low - energy region ( up to about 1 gev ) and a high - energy completion , i.e. a matching to the high - energy behavior deduced from s - matrix theory , qcd or qcd related approaches ; see the discussion in @xcite concerning the @xmath1 correlator .
as already discussed , for our doubly virtual @xmath1 correlator there are regions in the virtualities where the asymptotic regime is reached only at very high energies . in practice this might imply that a naive matching of a dispersive calculation to the asymptotic regime might miss part of the physics present at intermediate energies .
clearly it is worth to explore the interplay of a dispersive calculation with ths in the future .
the rest of the paper is structured in the following way : in section [ sec : ff ] we construct the @xmath0 and @xmath1 correlators subject to high- and low - energy constraints . the results for the @xmath1 correlator are compared to data and to other approaches ( lmd and vmd ) .
it is studied how the shape of the correlator changes when varying the remaining free parameter @xmath19 in a reasonable range .
in addition , a model uncertainty is estimated by varying the mass of the second vector - meson multiplet between the _ physical _ masses of the first and second excitation . in section [ sec : pheno ]
the @xmath23 correlator is constructed .
the parameter @xmath19 is determined from a fit to the @xmath4-@xmath5 transition form factor .
the widths or branching ratios , respectively , for the corresponding decays @xmath25 , @xmath26 , and @xmath27 are determined for ths ( and also for lmd and vmd ) . actually the first decay does not depend on @xmath19 .
we find good agreement between ths and the experimental results .
we address the rare pion decay to electron and positron in section [ sec : piee ] . including radiative corrections the branching ratio of this process is calculated and we compare again the ths result to other approaches . for the ths case
this branching ratio is sensitive to @xmath19 .
direct comparison to the experimental value from ktev @xcite seems to suggest that a discrepancy persists on the level of 2@xmath12 . in section [ sec : pieegam ] we study the properties of the singly virtual pion transition form factor in the low - energy region , such as slope and curvature .
note that these quantities do not depend on the parameter @xmath19 .
for the dalitz decay @xmath28 we calculate the decay width taking into account next - to - leading order ( nlo ) radiative corrections .
these are evaluated along the lines of @xcite .
again we compare ths to other approaches . with the full set of radiative corrections at hand , we take a fresh look on the ktev result . considering some radiative corrections that were not accounted for in the analysis
suggests that the previously stated discrepancy might be even reduced to 1.5@xmath12 .
the main message here , however , is that the radiative corrections are now theoretically under control @xcite and can be used in future data analyses . in section [ sec : outlook ]
we provide an outlook how ths can be further utilized and how the scheme can be extended .
finally , an appendix is added to provide the pseudoscalar form factors in terms of the loop integrals required for the rare pion decay . comparing in detail various approaches throughout the present work
reveals that the vmd form factor proves to be phenomenologically very successful in most applications , in spite of the facts that vmd is so simple and partially possesses an improper high - energy behavior .
however , the ths form factor , which satisfies all the considered constraints , works very well , too . still , the mean value of the ktev result remains a challenge for all approaches , even though the discrepancy has been reduced by a considerable level .
we provide a brief discussion on this point in the corresponding sections .
following @xcite we introduce the @xmath0 correlator @xmath29 by @xmath30|0\rangle \end{split}\ ] ] with @xmath31 .
the vector and pseudoscalar current , respectively , are defined by.]@xmath32 in the above formulae we have used @xmath33 = \frac12\delta^{ab}\,,\quad d^{abc } \equiv2\,\text{tr}\big[\{t^a , t^b\}t^c\big ] \ , .
\label{eq : normdef}\ ] ] for @xmath34 we have @xmath35 where @xmath36 denote the gell - mann matrices in flavor space .
since we utilize the large-@xmath14 limit we have to deal with flavor nonets , i.e. with u(3 ) instead of su(3 ) .
the formulae ( [ eq : normdef ] ) provide a natural extension to @xmath37 . working in the chiral limit and considering two meson multiplets in the vector and two in the pseudoscalar channel
, we propose a correlator of the form @xmath38 here @xmath39 is the most general polynomial in its arguments that is symmetric in the second and the third argument . for our purpose , a polynomial of order four
is sufficient inasmuch as higher powers of momenta in the numerator are not allowed due to the desired high - energy behavior that we will specify below .
thus we start with a term containing 22 monomials and associated free parameters .
schematically this looks as follows : @xmath40\\ & + c_2[(p^2)^3q^2+(q^2)^3p^2]+c_3(r^2)^2p^2q^2+\,\dots \ , .
\end{split } \label{eq : poly}\ ] ] the quantities @xmath41 and @xmath42 in ( [ eq : corr ] ) denote the usual low - energy constants of chiral perturbation theory @xcite .
we will specify them further when needed .
@xmath43 denotes the mass of the second multiplet , i.e. first excitation , in the pseudoscalar channel .
the first multiplet ( ground state ) is , of course , the massless multiplet of goldstone bosons .
the masses of the lowest two vector - meson multiplets are denoted by @xmath44 and @xmath45 . as already spelled out in section [ sec : intro ]
we use for @xmath44 the mass of the ground - state vector - meson multiplet ( in the chiral limit ) .
we assume that this mass is approximately given by the mass of the @xmath4 or @xmath21 meson .
for @xmath45 it is suggestive to use the physical mass of the first excitation in the vector channel .
however , we do not use a fixed mass here , but study the impact of a variation of @xmath45 on our results . in this way
we explore the uncertainty caused by the higher - lying excitations that are neglected in ths . in practice
we vary @xmath45 in the range @xmath46\,\text{mev , } \label{eq : rangev2}\ ] ] which is the interval between the masses of the first and the second physical excitation @xcite .
finally we note that the same logic applies to the mass @xmath43 of the second pseudoscalar multiplet . for the @xmath0 correlator one should study the impact of a variation of @xmath43 .
as we will see below , however , this mass does not show up in the final expression for the @xmath1 correlator .
we now demand that the ansatz ( [ eq : corr ] ) satisfies all the relevant high- as well as low - energy constraints in order to minimize the number of free parameters introduced in ( [ eq : poly ] ) .
starting with the general correlator ( [ eq : corr ] ) we apply the following leading - order ope constraints @xcite : @xmath47 @xmath48 it turns out that the third ope constraint @xcite @xmath49 is automatically fulfilled by our ansatz . here
@xmath50 denotes a function ( actually a two - point correlator @xcite ) that depends only on @xmath51 and not on the other kinematic variables @xmath52 and @xmath53 .
next , we define the @xmath1 correlator : @xmath54 where @xmath55 denotes the overlap between the pion field and the pseudoscalar quark current . with the usual conventions from chiral perturbation theory one obtains @xmath56 @xcite . for large @xmath57 one then finds @xmath58 which means that in agreement with @xcite we have @xmath59 hence , this condition is satisfied automatically on account of the ope constraints . actually , for the quantity @xmath60 also the subleading order in the high - energy expansion is known in terms of a quark - gluon condensate @xcite ; see also the corresponding discussion in @xcite .
however , we refrain from incorporating this as an additional constraint .
the reason is the same as to why we do not use constraints from transition form factors of hadronic resonance states .
one might become too sensitive to the details of the intermediate mass region where we use one hadronic state to describe effectively the whole infinite tower of large-@xmath14 excited states .
if one used three instead of two hadronic states per channel , the subleading high - energy constraints might provide a viable input to pin down the growing number of resonance parameters .
but this is clearly beyond the scope of the present work .
instead of involving subleading orders in the high - energy expansion we apply the b - l constraint @xcite @xmath61 we define the pion transition form factor as @xmath62 and match at the photon point to the chiral anomaly , i.e. to the wess zumino
witten term @xcite , @xmath63 together the constraints ( [ eq : ope1 ] ) , ( [ eq : ope2 ] ) , ( [ eq : bl ] ) and ( [ eq : wzw ] ) provide us with a @xmath1 correlator that appears to have only one free dimensionless parameter @xmath19 : @xmath64\bigg\}\ , .
\end{split } \label{eq : fffinal2}\ ] ] note that our result is independent of the mass @xmath43 of the first pseudoscalar excitation .
this happens due to the fact that at the end of the day we could conveniently rescale the only free parameter left . from the structure of the result ( [ eq : fffinal2 ] ) it can be read off that @xmath19 emerges from @xmath65 in ( [ eq : poly ] ) on account of @xmath66 we note in passing that @xmath19 scales with @xmath67 .
a comparison to the work of @xcite is in order here concerning the number of free parameters .
we shall compare our ths approach to lmd+v of @xcite , i.e. to the case of one pseudoscalar and two vector multiplets .
we recall that ths = lmd+v+p in the language of @xcite . after applying the ope constraints to ths
we are left with 12 free parameters for the @xmath0 correlator .
this compares to 7 free parameters for the case of lmd+v .
the low - energy constraint ( [ eq : wzw ] ) fixes always one more parameter .
once we focus on the @xmath1 correlator we are left with 4 parameters for ths . for lmd+v one
demanding that the @xmath1 correlator of ( [ eq : bl ] ) drops like @xmath68 limits the free parameters to 2 for both cases ths and lmd+v . demanding ( [ eq : bl ] ) _ quantitatively _ and not just a scaling with @xmath68 yields one free parameter for ths as well as for lmd+v . to summarize , after applying all constraints
ths has more parameters for the @xmath0 correlator than lmd+v : 8 in ths versus 4 in lmd+v .
but concerning the @xmath1 correlator one ends up with one free parameter in both cases .
according to @xcite the @xmath1 correlator should satisfy the inequality @xmath69 it turns out that the ths expression ( [ eq : fffinal2 ] ) satisfies ( [ eq : dc ] ) for @xmath70 .
we will see below that the values for @xmath19 that we obtain from fitting to experimental data lie well within this range . before further constraining @xmath19 from data
it is illuminating to study the qualitative shape of the @xmath1 correlator when @xmath19 is varied .
in addition , we compare our results to similar approaches from the literature , namely to the vmd correlator @xcite @xmath71 and to the lmd expression @xcite @xmath72\ , .
\label{eq : fflmd } \end{split}\ ] ] see also @xcite for a comparison of various correlators .
first of all , we note that the vmd result grossly violates ( [ eq : f / q2 ] ) while it is not far off from the b - l constraint ( [ eq : bl ] ) . on the other hand ,
lmd satisfies ( [ eq : f / q2 ] ) , but does not satisfy ( [ eq : bl ] ) . by construction
the ths correlator satisfies all the mentioned constraints , but it is interesting to see how fast or slow the asymptotic limits are reached .
this is shown in fig .
[ fig : ff ] . to facilitate a comparison with data
we show the pion transition form factor ( times the virtuality @xmath51 ) instead of the @xmath1 correlator .
note that the relation ( [ eq : defpitff ] ) between the pion transition form factor and the @xmath1 correlator only amounts to a rescaling . in the first panel of fig .
[ fig : ff ] we display the symmetric doubly virtual pion transition form factor .
this plot shows three different _ types _ of lines and a gray band .
we shall first discuss the lines : the dash - dotted lmd line approaches very quickly the asymptotic qcd result given by ( [ eq : f / q2 ] ) .
the dashed vmd line falls stronger than what is required by qcd .
the full lines labeled by values for @xmath19 show the ths result for a mass of @xmath45 taken in the middle of the interval ( [ eq : rangev2 ] ) .
all the full lines will approach the lmd line at very large momenta .
one sees , however , that typically the ths lines reach this limit rather late . in particular , for @xmath73 the ths form factor peaks at rather high momentum values and with large magnitude in comparison to vmd and lmd .
it reaches the asymptotic limit only very slowly . for the case
@xmath74 we see that the associated line is very close to lmd , but peaks later and approaches the asymptotic limit from above . for @xmath75
we get the limiting case where ths is monotonically growing .
going further down with @xmath19 a wiggle appears , which for @xmath76 and low virtualities resembles very much the vmd behavior . for negative @xmath19
the ths results start to undershoot vmd at low virtualities . moving to even lower @xmath19 values
there is always a region where the ths result becomes negative .
intuitively we find it hard to believe that the transition form factor of a ground - state hadron ( the pion ) would display so many wiggles as suggested by the full lines for small values of @xmath19 . indeed
, the determination of @xmath19 , which will be carried out in the next section , reveals a @xmath19 value of about 21 .
thus we find the qualitative situation that the ths result for the pion transition form factor ( times the virtuality @xmath51 ) overshoots the asymptotic limit , peaks at rather large momenta and approaches the asymptotic limit rather slowly from above . the gray bands in both panels of fig . [
fig : ff ] constitute our final ths predictions for the pion transition form factor .
the results from the next section are anticipated where @xmath19 is further constrained . to obtain the gray bands all input for our ths pion transition form factor ( @xmath41 , @xmath44 )
is varied within the respective experimentally allowed regions , @xmath77 as described in the next section , and @xmath45 is varied within region ( [ eq : rangev2 ] ) .
the whole gray band in the first panel shows the qualitative behavior described previously .
it also points to a significant quantitative uncertainty of our prediction for the symmetric doubly virtual pion transition form factor .
in other words , data on this form factor or in general on any doubly virtual pion transition form factor would be highly welcome to better constrain our approach . in the second panel of fig .
[ fig : ff ] we display the singly virtual pion transition form factor .
this plot shows two lines , a very narrow gray band and data .
we first discuss the gray band , which nearly resembles a full line since its width is so small .
obviously the narrow gray band of the second panel contrasts with the rather broad band of the first panel .
however , the singly virtual pion transition form factor is independent of @xmath19 as can be easily deduced from ( [ eq : fffinal2 ] ) when putting @xmath52 to zero .
the largest uncertainty comes from a variation of @xmath45 according to ( [ eq : rangev2 ] ) .
even this variation does not lead to very different results , which causes the curves to nearly collapse to one single line .
thus ths has rather high predictive ( or rather _ postdictive _ ) power for the singly virtual pion transition form factor .
another qualitative difference between the gray bands of the first and the second panel is the fact that the ths result for the singly virtual pion transition form factor reaches the asymptotic ( b - l ) limit rather early .
we regard this intriguing behavior of our correlator as one of the highlights of our work : the ths pion transition form factor shows an early ( late ) onset of the asymptotic behavior for the singly ( symmetric doubly ) virtual pion transition form factor .
it would be extremely interesting to see if this is supported by data in the future .
finally , we compare the ths result for the singly virtual pion transition form factor to vmd and lmd and to data .
the lmd result for @xmath78 behaves as a constant for large @xmath79 .
thus , it can not even qualitatively explain the data since , of course , it diverges after being multiplied by @xmath51 .
this behavior can be seen in the second panel of fig .
[ fig : ff ] where the lmd result is given by the dash - dotted line .
the results for vmd ( dashed line ) and ths are fairly close .
cleo data @xcite are only available for low virtualities ( @xmath80gev@xmath81 ) and prefer vmd to some extent though ths appears to be acceptable as well .
the situation turns around for higher virtualities .
ths describes the belle data @xcite better than vmd .
the early onset of the asymptotic behavior of the ths result for the singly virtual pion transition form factor makes ths essentially identical to the b - l limit .
not surprisingly then , ths agrees well with the belle data and is at odds with the babar data @xcite that are not fully compatible with the belle data .
we do not attempt to contribute to a clarification of the differences between belle and babar . in view of these complications
we have decided to stick to the b - l constraint ( [ eq : bl ] ) right from the start .
our strategy now is to obtain the parameter @xmath19 of the newly proposed @xmath1 correlator ( [ eq : fffinal2 ] ) from the @xmath23 correlator .
thus we turn to @xmath4 data for the reasons specified in section [ sec : intro ] , namely the lack of doubly virtual data for the pion transition form factor and the fact that the @xmath4 meson is fairly long lived to resemble the situation of the large-@xmath14 approximation .
we introduce the overlap between an @xmath4 meson and the vector current @xmath82 , i.e. @xmath83 where we assume that the @xmath4 meson does not contain hidden strangeness , which is a fairly good approximation to the real world @xcite . for later convenience
we also define the @xmath84-@xmath4 coupling strength @xmath85 the modulus of which agrees with @xmath86 as introduced in @xcite . with this at hand we can obtain @xmath87 from the @xmath88 decay process . a direct calculation from the lorentz invariant matrix element @xmath89 yields after averaging and summing over polarizations @xmath90^{-\frac12}\,,\ ] ] where @xmath91 is the speed of the electron in the rest frame of the decaying @xmath4 meson .
taking into account that @xmath92 , we can write @xmath93 using the values @xmath94 and @xmath95mev @xcite we find @xmath96kev .
together with @xmath97mev we obtain from ( [ eq : fv1 ] ) the following value for the coupling strength : @xmath98 it is convenient to introduce the @xmath18 transition form factor by @xmath99 this turns out to be the central quantity to determine @xmath19 and to address the phenomenologically interesting decays @xmath3 and @xmath100 , where @xmath101 denotes a lepton . for the special case when @xmath102 we find ( see also @xcite for a similar expression for the case of one vector multiplet ) @xmath103\,.\ ] ]
hence the decay width for @xmath3 is independent of @xmath19 , which provides us with full predictive power for this particular decay and can therefore serve as a cross - check of our formalism .
we will come back to this decay after having determined @xmath19 from the measured @xmath4-@xmath5 transition form factor .
in fact , the parameter @xmath19 , which constitutes the only unknown parameter of our proposed @xmath1 correlator , can be obtained by a fit to the na60 data @xcite for the normalized transition form factor @xmath104 in the low - energy time - like region of @xmath51 with the result @xmath105 the result is displayed in fig .
[ fig : ffomega ] as a gray band .
the uncertainty comes mainly from the fitting procedure ( and so from the error bars of the data ) and from the variation of the second - multiplet mass @xmath106 inside the considered region ( [ eq : rangev2 ] ) .
our fit to the na60 data has a @xmath107 per degree of freedom of 1.5 .
apparently we obtain a rather satisfying fit to the na60 data except for the last two or three data points at the largest values of the dimuon mass . at present , none of the hadron - theory approaches to this @xmath4 transition form factor @xcite is able to understand these last data points .
recently it has been suggested in @xcite using a dispersive calculation and high - energy constraints that these data points might be incompatible with qcd .
clearly it would be highly desirable to obtain additional data for this @xmath4 transition form factor , in particular from experiments where the complete final state @xmath108 can be reconstructed and not only the dilepton ; see @xcite for more details .
in the following we will stick to our result for @xmath19 as given in ( [ eq : kappa ] ) and obtained from a fit to the full range of na60 data since it is the best that one can do in the present situation .
however , we briefly discuss two alternatives : if we performed an alternative fit to the na60 data rejecting the last three data points , we would get @xmath109 , which is fairly compatible with our full fit .
the @xmath107 per degree of freedom would reduce to 0.8 .
if we rejected the na60 data altogether and regarded the dispersive calculation of @xcite as the `` truth '' , we would find @xmath110 .
the result of this last fit is also shown in fig . [ fig : ffomega ] as the dark gray band . if we return to the first panel of fig .
[ fig : ff ] we observe that one obtains the same qualitative features with such values of @xmath19 .
nevertheless , we will not use these results further on and will take into account only the result ( [ eq : kappa ] ) of the all - data fit .
as for the pion transition form factor we shall compare our result to similar approaches from the literature .
the form factor from @xcite , @xmath111 labeled by `` tl '' in fig .
[ fig : ffomega ] , lies within our uncertainty band in spite of the fact that the derivation is based on a very different approach .
the results for vmd and lmd can be obtained from ( [ eq : ffvmd ] ) and ( [ eq : fflmd ] ) , respectively , using ( [ eq : ffq2 ] ) and ( [ eq : ompinorm ] ) .
for instance , the vmd expression is @xmath112 as can be seen in fig .
[ fig : ffomega ] the results for both vmd and lmd deviate significantly from the data and therefore from our approach .
they also deviate from the results of the dispersive calculation of @xcite , which is shown as the black band in fig .
[ fig : ffomega ] .
as already noted we have performed an alternative fit of our ths expression to the dispersive result the dark gray band in fig .
[ fig : ffomega ] .
it should be noted that our rational function can not fit the cusp structure in the low - energy region @xmath113 $ ] that emerges in the dispersive calculation from a cross - channel inelasticity ; see @xcite for a detailed discussion .
we repeat our statement that additional data on this transition form factor would be highly welcome .
0.45 ( 208,152 ) ( 180,-230 ) ( 208,-152)(288,-152 ) ( 288,-152)(352,-88 ) ( 192,-152)[lb ] ( 368,-88)[lb ] ( 368,-224)[lb ] ( 352,-216)(288,-152)46.5 ( 288,-152)(14,14)(0)0.882 0.5 ( 220,165 ) ( 165,-230 ) ( 208,-152)(288,-152 ) ( 288,-152)(352,-88 ) ( 192,-152)[lb ] ( 368,-88)[lb ] ( 296,-192)[lb ] ( 336,-184)(288,-152)44.5 ( 336,-184)(368,-152 ) ( 368,-216)(336,-184 ) ( 380,-160)[lb ] ( 380,-224)[lb ] ( 288,-152)(14,14)(0)0.882 to further explore the validity of the ths scheme we study selected decay channels of the @xmath4 meson .
it appears to be convenient to introduce the matrix element @xmath114 using previous definitions ( [ eq : ffp2q2 ] ) and ( [ eq : ffq2 ] ) this can be reduced to @xmath115 in ( [ eq : mpq1 ] ) the factors 2/3 and 1/3 emerge from the respective overlap of the @xmath4 meson with the singlet and the 8th component of the octet current , i.e. the factors come from ( [ eq : normdef ] ) .
these factors actually sum to unity , which is not surprising from a flavor su(2 ) point of view where the @xmath4 is a pure singlet .
we start with the prediction of the decay width of the @xmath3 process , which is depicted in fig .
[ fig : omega]a .
the matrix element @xmath116 does not depend on @xmath19 as already mentioned .
this provides us with a pure prediction .
after simple manipulations we find @xmath117 where we have used ( [ eq : fv1 ] ) to obtain the last expression .
taking @xmath118 , @xmath119mev @xcite , @xmath120mev , @xmath121mev @xcite and @xmath106 in the range ( [ eq : rangev2 ] ) we obtain the values listed in tab . [ tab : gwpi0 g ] . .
decay width of the process @xmath3 as obtained from different approaches and from data @xcite .
we estimate an uncertainty only for our ths case . [ cols="^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] in the first row the nlo correction is presented .
naively one might get from the definitions ( [ eq : dalitznlosl ] ) and ( [ eq : dalitzxlo ] ) the impression that the pion transition form factor does not enter @xmath122 .
this is , however , not the case .
the nlo correction involves , of course , the four - body phase - space integrations and the pion transition form factor can not be scaled out .
this is due to the integration over the @xmath123 variable , which is tacitly performed also on the left - hand side of ( [ eq : dalitznlosl ] ) . on the other hand , taking into account the correction to the differential decay width , we would get an expression independent of the form factor .
this statement then holds only when leaving out the 1@xmath84ir part , where the form - factor - dependent loop integration is performed .
nonetheless , concerning model uncertainties , it is encouraging that numerically the nlo correction is to a very large extent independent of the used pion transition form factor . using the respective value of the nlo correction , the second row in tab .
[ tab : dalitz ] shows the corresponding branching ratio if no cut on additional photons is applied , i.e. the branching ratio of the dalitz decay for the whole kinematic region @xmath124 $ ] .
the results of this row should be compared to the experimental value @xmath125 , which has been calculated using inputs from @xcite .
the agreement with the values of the second row in tab .
[ tab : dalitz ] is very satisfying . in the previous section
we have stated the value ( [ eq : bktev ] ) as the outcome of the ktev analysis .
however , what ktev has determined at first place is from @xcite in contrast to 0.232 as stated in @xcite .
this value for @xmath126 corresponds to ( 65mev/@xmath127)@xmath81 . ]
@xmath128 we note in passing that for the quantity displayed in the last row of tab .
[ tab : dalitz ] the corresponding value used by ktev to obtain finally the result ( [ eq : bktev ] ) is 3.19% @xcite . this value is close but not equal to any of the results in the last row of tab . [
tab : dalitz ] .
having the radiative corrections determined from theory suggests to calculate directly the ratio ( [ eq : ktev232 ] ) instead of the derived quantity ( [ eq : bktev ] ) and to compare the calculation to the experimental result .
however , the result ( [ eq : ktev232 ] ) is not a direct measurement either , but is , of course , based on an interplay of measurements , monte carlo simulations , acceptance corrections , etc . @xcite . by the time
the ktev measurements were analyzed not all qed radiative corrections were available . to evaluate the decay width of the dalitz decay the radiative corrections from @xcite have been used .
in particular the 1@xmath84ir contributions have not been included in @xcite .
in addition , in the monte carlo generator of ktev the radiative corrections for the @xmath129 decay have been adopted from @xcite ; see @xcite .
however , in @xcite some approximations have been used that have been proven to be misleading after the exact calculation has been performed @xcite .
therefore it would be somewhat misleading to compare a theory result with all radiative corrections included to an experimental result where only part of these corrections have been taken into account .
on the other hand , it might be illuminating to provide a rough estimate of the impact of these differences . before presenting such an estimate
we would like to repeat the take - home message from the first section : all nlo qed radiative corrections are now available @xcite and can be taken into account in future analyses of data on the pion decays @xmath13 and @xmath130 . in spite of the fact that not all radiative corrections have been taken into account in the analysis that led to the result ( [ eq : ktev232 ] )
we do not feel legitimated to modify this experimental result .
instead we will calculate the ratio of ( [ eq : ktev232 ] ) within ths the results from the other approaches are comparable .
] , but assign an uncertainty to it , which is related to the neglect of the 1@xmath84ir contributions.ir contributions . ]
it should be stressed , however , that this is not an entirely valid approach either .
after all , as soon as one can calculate the nlo qed radiative corrections , they do not constitute an uncertainty of a result but rather a well - defined shift of the result .
nonetheless , we proceed in the described way to obtain a rough estimate of the uncertainty caused by neglecting part of the radiative corrections .
the quantity of our interest can be generally expressed and expanded as @xmath131\,.\ ] ] in our case we have @xmath132 and @xmath133 , which we calculate up to nlo using the complete set of corrections .
the uncertainties are then given by the 1@xmath84ir contributions to the nlo virtual radiative corrections , i.e. by the interference of the diagrams shown in fig .
[ fig : d1gir ] . hence @xmath134}\frac{\gamma^\text{lo}(\pi^0\to
e^+e^-\gamma\,,\;x>0.95)}{\gamma^\text{lo}(\pi^0\to e^+e^- ) } \ , , \label{eq : sa } \end{split}\ ] ] which numerically yields @xmath135 . for the second term
we get @xmath136}\ , , \label{eq : sb } \end{split}\ ] ] for which we find @xmath137 .
we can thus conclude that the total uncertainty would be at the level of 1% .
for completeness we list the values that we have used to get the above stated numbers .
the input for ( [ eq : sa ] ) is @xmath138 for the 1@xmath84ir contribution to the nlo virtual radiative correction for the decay width of the dalitz decay . for the ratio of the lo decay widths of the dalitz decay with @xmath139 and the @xmath9 process we have @xmath140 . in ( [ eq : sb ] )
we have utilized for the overall nlo correction to the dalitz decay @xmath141 and finally @xmath142 . in general
, we can see that the radiative corrections are getting more important with higher values of @xmath126 .
taking values from tab .
[ tab : ktev ] and tab .
[ tab : dalitz ] and the previously estimated relative uncertainty of 1% ( we state this separately ) we find @xmath143 this result is to be compared with the ktev value ( [ eq : ktev232 ] ) , yielding a discrepancy of approximately 1.5@xmath12 .
we stress one more time that the result ( [ eq : finallabel ] ) should be read with caution .
several directions are conceivable how the ths scheme might be extended or combined with other approaches .
most straightforward would be to extend ths to other correlators ; see also @xcite .
eventually one might get cross correlations and in that way more information , e.g. , by fitting to additional sets of data . in the present work we have merely used the @xmath0 correlator as an intermediate step to obtain the @xmath1 correlator . of course , the @xmath0 correlator is also interesting in its own right .
for instance , as it has been worked out in @xcite , the low - energy expansion of this correlator determines some of the low - energy constants of the chiral lagrangian at order @xmath144 in the anomalous sector @xcite , i.e. the corrections to the wess
zumino witten lagrangian . having determined some of the parameters of the @xmath0 correlator within ths by demanding high - energy constraints one could provide estimates and/or cross - correlations for these low - energy constants following the procedure outlined in @xcite .
as already spelled out in section [ sec : intro ] we refrained from using high - energy constraints for quantities like the @xmath23 correlator since the vector meson might probe already too many details of the intermediate - energy region ( above 1 gev ) where we have approximated the tower of infinitely many states by one effective state per channel . extending the scheme from ths to three hadrons per channel , albeit introducing more parameters in the first place , might allow to use quark - scaling relations along the lines of @xcite for @xmath145 and similar correlators which in turn could help to keep the number of free parameters manageable .
in the same spirit one can use subleading orders in the high - energy expansion in terms of qcd condensates @xcite . in the present work we have used the chiral limit to construct the @xmath0 correlator . in line with this approximation
we have focused on the @xmath1 and @xmath23 correlator where no strange quarks are involved . for a reasonable extension from the pion to the whole pseudoscalar multiplet ( a nonet in the large-@xmath14 limit ) one
has to go beyond the chiral limit .
the prospect of such an endeavor would be the possibility to tackle the transition form factors of the @xmath146 and @xmath147 mesons and their rare decays into electron and positron or muon and anti - muon . the simplest way to go beyond
the chiral limit would be to utilize a pertinent lagrangian . in extensions of chiral perturbation theory @xcite one
frequently uses a lagrangian where the vector mesons are represented by antisymmetric tensor fields @xcite .
as discussed in @xcite a given resonance lagrangian of formal chiral order @xmath144 might not be capable of satisfying all desired ope constraints
. indeed , as shown in @xcite this problem appears at least if only one vector - meson multiplet is used for the @xmath0 correlator . concerning the vector instead of the antisymmetric tensor representation
the same negative result has been reported in @xcite .
it might appear that the first - order approach suggested in @xcite offers more flexibility here . alternatively or in addition one might consider the inclusion of resonance terms of chiral order @xmath148 .
the following consideration might demonstrate that one can expect to create additional terms that would not spoil the ope right away : if one normalizes the @xmath0 correlator to the corresponding chiral - anomaly expression , a @xmath144 resonance lagrangian would produce `` corrections '' that schematically are given by @xmath149 we have replaced all resonance masses by @xmath150 and all momenta by @xmath151 .
this is sufficient to discuss the high- and low - energy limits .
the factor of @xmath152 in the numerator of emerges from the fact that the resonance lagrangian is assumed to be of chiral order @xmath144 while the chiral anomaly is of order @xmath153 .
the limitation @xmath154 comes from the fact that a three - point correlator is considered . at high energies a single term with @xmath155
definitely spoils the ope .
coupling constants between various contributions must be adjusted such that cancellations appear .
of course , this is the reason why the ope is capable to tell something about the resonance parameters .
a resonance lagrangian of chiral order @xmath148 produces terms with the schematic structure @xmath156 here the terms with @xmath157 spoil the ope and must cancel .
the terms with @xmath158 , however , produce structures that could be compatible with the ope but are structurally different from the ones in . thus the inclusion of resonance terms of chiral
order @xmath148 might help to obtain an agreement between a lagrangian approach and the ope .
needless to say that the systematic construction of a @xmath148 lagrangian would be extremely tedious ; see @xcite and references therein . in practice , according to @xcite , leading - order ope constraints together with a singly virtual pion transition form factor that vanishes at large momenta can be achieved by a resonance lagrangian with two vector - meson multiplets in the antisymmetric tensor representation .
note , however , that the concrete b - l limit ( [ eq : bl ] ) has not been used in @xcite . nonetheless , the results of @xcite suggest that ths can be reproduced from a resonance lagrangian of order @xmath144 in the chiral counting
. while leaving the chiral limit might be systematized by a lagrangian approach , our second basic assumption , the large-@xmath14 limit is much harder to remedy . on purpose we stuck to narrow states ( @xmath5 , @xmath4 ) and to the space - like or low - energy time - like region where the effects of inelasticities are minor .
nonetheless this induces uncertainties , which are hard to assess on a quantitative level . at low energies
an excellent way to deal with inelasticities is to use them in ones favor by a dispersive setup @xcite .
a powerful framework emerges when combined with chiral low - energy constraints , qcd high - energy constraints , and precise data on the scattering amplitudes that come into play via the inelasticities . in practice
the scheme becomes intractable at intermediate energies ( roughly above 1 gev ) where more and more many - particle channels open up .
even if one studies low - energy quantities one might need some information from the intermediate - energy regime if the qcd high - energy limit is reached very late .
this is exactly what we saw for the ths result of the @xmath1 correlator .
this suggests to study the impact of the ths results on a dispersive calculation by using ths in the intermediate- and high - energy space - like regime where its results should be most trustworthy . in the present work we have determined the @xmath1 correlator with a focus on the rare pion decay into electron and positron .
in turn this decay might offer some window to observe low - energy traces of physics beyond the standard model .
however , the @xmath1 correlator is also interesting because it contains information about the intrinsic structure of the pion .
hence it could be illuminating to figure out what the ths result implies for the pion distribution function @xcite .
t.h . would like to thank for the hospitality of uppsala university and to all his colleagues there who made a very friendly atmosphere .
we also acknowledge valuable discussions with our colleagues k. kampf and j. novotn from prague .
we are indebted to m. knecht for bringing @xcite to our attention .
the present work was supported by the charles university grants gauk 700214 and svv 260219/2015 , by the czech science foundation grant gar 15 - 18080s and by the project `` study of strongly interacting matter '' ( hadronphysics3 , grant agreement no .
283286 ) under the 7th framework program of the eu .
in section [ sec : piee ] we have defined the invariant amplitude for the process @xmath9 using the expression @xmath159 . in this appendix
we summarize its explicit form for various approaches that lead to a rational function for the pion transition form factor .
we make use of the standard passarino
veltman @xcite scalar one - loop integrals @xmath42 and @xmath160 .
the only uv divergent function is then @xmath42 .
its explicit form will be given here as a reference point for the used notation : @xmath161 ^ 2}\\ & = i\pi^2\bigl[\frac 1\varepsilon-\gamma_e+\log4\pi+\log\left(\frac{\mu^2}{m^2}\right)\bigr]\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] where we have introduced @xmath162 .
note that differences of @xmath42 functions are finite .
it will then be manifest from the form in which the results are presented , that the divergent parts cancel yielding a finite amplitude as desired .
it is also convenient to introduce the following combination of the three - point scalar one - loop function @xmath160 and the klln triangle function @xmath57 : @xmath163 for instance , we present two @xmath164 functions that are used further in this appendix : @xmath165 @xmath166 now we can finally list the results for @xmath167 as obtained from the various approaches to the pion transition form factor : @xmath168\\ & + c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2,0,m_e^2,0)\\ & -2\,c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2,0,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2)\\ & + c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2 , m_{v_1}^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2 ) \bigg\}\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] @xmath169\\ & -\bigg(\frac { m_{v_1}^2}{m_\pi^2}-1\bigg)\big[b_0(m_e^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2)-b_0(0,m_e^2,m_e^2)-2\big]\\ & + c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2,0,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2)\\ & -c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2 , m_{v_1}^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2 ) \bigg\}\ , , \end{split}\ ] ] @xmath170\\ & + \frac2{m_\pi^2}\big[7\,b_0(m_e^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_2}^2)-b_0(m_e^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2)\\ & -6\,b_0(0,m_e^2,m_e^2)\big]\bigg)\bigg]+\bigg [ m_{v_1}\leftrightarrow m_{v_2}\bigg]\\ & -\frac{2 } { m_{v_2}^2- m_{v_1}^2}\bigg(1+\frac{2\kappa m_{v_1}^4 m_{v_2}^4}{(4\pi f)^6m_\pi^2}\bigg)\\ & \times\big[b_0(m_e^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_2}^2)-b_0(m_e^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2)\big]\bigg\}\\ % & + c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2,0,m_e^2,0)\\ & -\bigg\{\frac { m_{v_2}^2 } { m_{v_2}^2- m_{v_1}^2}\bigg(2-\frac{3}{n_c}\frac{(4\pi f)^2 } { m_{v_2}^2}\bigg)\\ & \times c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2,0,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2)-\frac { m_{v_2}^4}{2 ( m_{v_2}^2- m_{v_1}^2)^2}\\ & \times\bigg[2+\frac{\kappa m_{v_1}^4}{n_c(4\pi f)^4}-\frac{(4\pi f)^2}{n_c m_{v_2}^2}\bigg(6+\frac { m_{v_1}^2 } { m_{v_2}^2}\bigg)\bigg]\\ & \times c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2 , m_{v_1}^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_1}^2)\bigg\}-\bigg\ { m_{v_1}\leftrightarrow m_{v_2}\bigg\}\\ & -\frac { m_{v_1}^2 m_{v_2}^2 } { ( m_{v_2}^2- m_{v_1}^2)^2}\\ & \times\bigg[2+\frac{\kappa m_{v_1}^2 m_{v_2}^2}{n_c(4\pi f)^4}-\frac{14}{n_c}(2\pi f)^2\bigg(\frac1 { m_{v_1}^2}+\frac1 { m_{v_2}^2}\bigg)\bigg]\\ & \times c^\prime_0(m_e^2,m_e^2,m_\pi^2 , m_{v_1}^2,m_e^2 , m_{v_2}^2 ) \bigg\}\ , .
\tag{\stepcounter{equation}\theequation}\end{aligned}\ ] ] | arxiv |
emissary veins traverse emissary foramina of the skull and connect venous sinuses to extracranial veins .
although they are valveless and blood may flow in both directions , flow is usually away from the brain . in ordinary usage , emissary foramina
an occipital emissary foramen has been traditionally described as a solitary foramen occasionally present in the squamous part of the occipital bone at the occipital protuberance .
it transmits the occipital emissary vein that connects the confluence of sinuses with the occipital vein .
the emissary vein may also receive the occipital diploic vein [ 2 , 3 ] .
this traditional view has now been challenged as the foramen has in the recent studies been found more often near the foramen magnum than the external occipital protuberance [ 46 ] .
the present study was done to ascertain the incidence of the foramen in unsexed adult modern human skulls of south indian origin .
the position of the foramen was also determined as a comparison of the study with the traditional and existing literature was done .
the findings of the study were then correlated to possible clinical manifestations that may arise due to the position and number of emissary foramina if seen on the skull .
the study was done on 221 south indian adult modern human skulls of unknown sex in the department of anatomy , st john 's medical college , bangalore .
the squamous part of occipital bone was studied for the presence of occipital emissary foramina .
the anatomical landmarks used in the study wereexternal occipital crest ( eoc);external occipital protuberance ( eop ) ; posterior border of foramen magnum ( fm ) . external occipital crest ( eoc ) ; external occipital protuberance ( eop ) ; posterior border of foramen magnum ( fm ) .
the position and number of foramina were noted .
the majority of the foramina were not seen on the eop ( as traditionally described ) .
hence they were classified as present to the right , to the left , or on the eoc .
a horizontal line was drawn midway between the eop and the posterior margin of fm .
the foramina were then classified as near the fm or near the eop depending upon their distance from the midline ( figure 1 ) .
a foramen was said to be present only if it transmitted a copper wire of 0.5 mm diameter and went through the bone into the skull .
out of the 221 skulls studied , the foramen was observed in 21/221 ( 9.50% ) skulls , 6/21 ( 28.57% ) to the right of , 10/21 ( 47.61% ) to the left of , and 2/21 ( 9.52% ) on the eoc .
of these two cases , one single large foramen was observed on the left side of eoc near the eop and the second foramen on the eoc near the fm . in 3 skulls ( 14.28% )
all were near the posterior margin of fm except the one case where a single large foramen was observed on the left side of eoc near the eop .
emissary foramina are a byproduct of selection of bipedalism by extant humans . as an upright posture necessitated delivery of blood from the brain to the vertebral veins , venous channels like the enlarged occipital / marginal sinus system , multiple hypoglossal canals , and emissary foramina that conduct the emissary veins developed .
these are considered to be epigenetic adaptations for delivering blood preferentially to the vertebral plexus of veins .
the occipital foramen occurs at low frequencies throughout the hominid record and is generally seen near the inion . in our study
this is higher if we compare it to other studies done in indian population ( table 1 ) . in studies done on north indian skulls ,
the incidence has varied from a single case in 214 skulls , that is , 0.46% to 2.07% [ 4 , 8 ] . in anatolian skulls
the incidence is 2.6% and in bangladeshi skulls it is 14% [ 5 , 6 ] .
the foramen in these studies is located near the posterior margin of fm . in a study done by boyd ,
the incidence of the foramen is 1.6% and is seen near the eop in all cases . in our study , all but one foramen are seen near the fm . in only a single case , the foramen has been observed near the eop ( table 2 ) , ( figure 2(a ) ) .
based on the location , the occipital emissary foramen connects : confluence of sinuses with the occipital vein if seen on the eoc near the eop ( 1 case in the present study);marginal sinuses to the occipital vein if seen on either side of fm ( 16 unilateral and 3 bilateral in the study ) ( figure 2(b));occipital sinus to occipital vein if seen on the eoc near the fm ( 1 case in the present study ) , ( figure 2(c));it may also receive the occipital diploic vein .
confluence of sinuses with the occipital vein if seen on the eoc near the eop ( 1 case in the present study ) ; marginal sinuses to the occipital vein if seen on either side of fm ( 16 unilateral and 3 bilateral in the study ) ( figure 2(b ) ) ; occipital sinus to occipital vein if seen on the eoc near the fm ( 1 case in the present study ) , ( figure 2(c ) ) ; it may also receive the occipital diploic vein .
but in our study , we have found bilateral foramina in 3 cases , all near the foramen magnum ( figure 2(d ) ) .
this implies that instead of a single vein , there may be two emissary veins connecting the occipital veins to the occipital sinus or to the marginal sinuses near the foramen magnum .
these veins serve to link the vertebral venous plexus with intracranial sinuses above and vertebral , brachiocephalic , and intercostal veins below . due to such rich venous connections , chances of spread of intracranial infections
on the other hand , procedures such as radical neck dissections that involve the ligation of internal jugular veins may benefit as now intracranial venous drainage will be assured to the exterior of skull .
the position of the foramen is more important than its incidence especially in suboccipital exposure as this procedure is one of the commonest neurological practices for the management of pathologies involving the posterior cranial fossa .
these procedures always include the posterior edge of foramen magnum which is either removed en bloc or piecemeal and then replaced . in adults ,
the dura is tightly adherent to the skull and since it can not be stripped easily at this location , operators have to pay particular attention to avoid tearing walls of occipital sinus . due to the adherence of dura , during the procedure , intermittent massive bleeding from the bone or underlying dura or the sinus is expected and taken care of .
but since the majority of the foramina lie near the foramen magnum ( as seen in most of the recent studies and our study as against the traditional view ) , knowledge of their presence and position is essential to rule out unexpected bleeding that may occur when such findings are missed during initial investigations . | pubmed |
Candy Candy DESCRIPCION DE MI AMADA
**DESCRIPCION DE MI AMADA…**
**Por. Magnolia **
Hola chicas… antes que nada quiero decirles que para este minific, utilice el Soneto 130 de William Shakespeare… espero que sea de su agrado. Este "sonetofic" como lo llamo yo se llama "Descripción de mi amada". Este escrito fue presentado en la guerra Florida de 2010.
Habían pasado poco más de cinco años desde que Anthony había tenido esa caída de caballo tan terrible que casi resulta mortal… Anthony al saber que Candy vivía no ceso de buscarla hasta que la encontró en Chicago trabajando de enfermera para saber si ella le había olvidado… fue un día muy feliz el día que Candy le dijo que jamás le he olvido aunque le dijeron que había muerto… pero que necesitaba un poco de tiempo para adaptarse a la idea… aunque no de muy buena manera él acepto, un día mientras pasaban por un parque en Lakewood, tomaron asiento en una banca, Anthony creyó que había llegado el tiempo de que ella supiera de su gran amor por ella… pero quería confirmar si el sentimiento era reciproco a través de una pequeña broma…
Candy… ¿Eres feliz?
Desde luego que si…
¿Y puedo confiar en ti verdad?
Ya lo sabes…
Hoy quiero darte la descripción de mi amada…
La rubia sitió que la saliva se le atoraba en la garganta… ¡Anthony estaba enamorado de una mujer que no era ella!, pero ¿sus atenciones?, ¿las flores? ¿Acaso se equivocó y pensó que era un cortejo en vez de una atención a una amiga?
Por su parte, el rubio miraba a Candy…. Expectante…
¿Te encuentras bien pecosa?
Sí, solo pensaba… discúlpame… soy toda oídos…
¿Entonces puedo describirte a mi amada? Es que eres la única amiga mujer que tengo que podría comprenderme, sabiendo tu opinión podré saber si se lo puedo decir a ella ¿Se podrá?
Si, Anthony desde luego –aunque por dentro sentía que el corazón se le partía-
Gracias muchas gracias
No me agradezcas… quiero conocerte en tu faceta poética –aunque interiormente pensaba entre más pronto termines, menos sufriré yo-
Muy bien… pues veras…
_Los ojos de mi amada no parecen dos soles,_
_y el coral es más rojo, que el rojo de sus labios._
_Siendo blanca la nieve, sus senos son oscuros,_
_y si el cabello es negro en ella es hierro negro._
Candy casi se va de espaldas… ¿Así que Anthony prefería a las morenas? Debía ser realmente hermosa, porque al parecer había tenido intimidad con ella… ¡Pero si soy una tonta! Él no me ama… mientras Anthony observaba su gesto… le dolía verla así… pero tenía que ser así si deseba saber si lo amaba realmente, no encontraba otra manera… pero haciendo un enorme esfuerzo la rubia logro hablar…
¡Vaya! Es hermoso… así que la chica es morena y de cabello negro…
Sí… su cabello negro como el azabache… pero brilla como el oro sin ser rubio…
Vaya… se ve que la amas mucho…
Más de lo que te imaginas…
Lo veo… pero sigue hablando Anthony…
Pues veras…
_He visto rosas rojas, blancas y adamascadas, _
_mas nunca en sus mejillas encuentro tales cosas._
_Y en algunos perfumes, existe más deleite,_
_que en ese dulce aliento que emana de mi amada._
Pero a pesar de eso Candy yo lo amo, la anhelo con todas las fuerzas de mi alma…
Candy deseba llorar… siempre soñó que alguien le dijera palabras como esas, cuando pensó que lo lograría… él amaba a otra… el amor no es para mi. Anthony que la conocía tan bien… sabía que ella estaba por llorar… pero tenía que continuar…
_Amo escuchar su voz y sin embargo, entiendo,_
_que la música tiene un sonido más grato. _
_No he visto caminar por la tierra a una diosa,_
_pero al andar mi amada, va pisando la tierra._
Candy… estarás de acuerdo que para que quiero a una mujer olímpica, si tengo mi amada… que para mi es una diosa, mi diosa del amor.
Candy no pudo más y empezó a llorar… creyó soportarlo… pero decir esas palabras era ya demasiado…
¿Qué te sucede Candy?
Nada, es solo que es tan maravilloso la descripción que haces que me dan ganas de llorar… es muy afortunada…
Anthony ya no respondió a lo que ella dijo… tomo sus manos que Candy tenía sobre su rostro y le obligo a mirarlo a los ojos y le dijo…
_Mas juro y considero a mi amada tan única,_
_que no existe en el mundo, ilusión que la iguale._
Dicho eso… la miro fijamente… y le dio un gran beso, lleno de amor y ternura…
¿Pero que es esto que acaba de pasar Anthony?
¿Qué? Un beso… un beso a mi amada…
¿A tu amada? Creo que decirme esos versos a mi te ha afectado… te aseguro que tu chica morena estará encantada –dijo Candy en tono francamente celoso-
No existe tal… la hice morena, para ver si me amabas… por ese tono de celos en ti… tu me amas… tú eres mi diosa, mi diosa del amor… a la que llevó tanto tiempo esperando…
No juegues conmigo… Anthony…
El volvió a besarla, pero ahora con pasión… que ella correspondió desde luego…
Perdóname… si hice lo que hice es porque dudaba un poco de que me amaras… perdóname amor mío… pero todas esa palabras salieron de mi corazón para ti solo para ti…
Amor mío… solo porque te amo tanto te perdono porque se que lo hiciste porque yo no daba "señales" de nada… pero tus palabras aunque yo pensé que eran para otra… me llegaron a mi corazón a mi alma… Te amo…
Los chicos finalmente volvieron a besarse, salieron del parque tomados de la mano, enamorados… deseosos de disfrutar su amor.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Digimon 1. Kari is hiding something
**CHAPTER ONE**
Only about a month before Christmas…
At Obadiah high, the Arts and Drama class were given the privilege of performing a Musical production of any Christmas, or Christmas-Related story for the minor grade-students and preschoolers.
And for extra credit, the class was given the class was told to write up the script for what play they would like to have done. Keeping in mind though that it had to be a Christmas, or Christmas-Related subject.
The class had been working on their scripts since last month, and were almost done. Kari and TK both had the same idea and asked if they could work together, and they got it.
This really ticked Davis off. Kari was up to her "Make Davis Jealous" thing again. He really wished she would cut that out, or did she even care how she was making him feel.
His little crush on her was grown bigger over the years, though he never wanted anyone to know that.
Kari and TK were growing closer over the years, and by now they had been considered the cutest couple in the school. Though they were not officially dating, nor were they even thinking about it.
Still… Davis was really beginning to feel like a loser. Always being targeted by Kari's jealousy game, and provoked by it too from other kids in the school.
Davis also had very little popularity in the school, and after all the heroic things he did for everyone being the greatest of the Digi destined.
Whenever there was a task the others said couldn't be done, Davis did it all by himself. If it wasn't for his ways of never quitting, and never backing down… everyone would've been killed long ago.
"_Some hero I am."_ Davis thought to himself. _"I save the world, I work my best, and still they all treat me as if I'm not there."_
Class ended, and everyone handed in their scripts the teacher would study and decided tomorrow on which one it was going to be.
Davis decided to head to the Digital world for some time alone. Kari and TK came up to him. "Hey Davis, what's happening?" said TK.
"Hi, Davis." added Kari.
But Davis didn't even look at them. "Yeah right! Whatever." He said sounding low and just walked right past them.
Yolei Cody and Ken saw the whole thing as they came up the stairs. "What's up with him?" asked Yolei.
Kari had a feeling. "I think I may have made Davis a little mad." She said. "I was… you know?"
The other had a feeling she was playing "Let's make Davis feel Jealous" again. "Kari, it was fun to do at first, but I think you're stating to go too far with this." said Yolei.
Ken nodded in agreement. "You _have_ been getting a little carried away in your playing with him." He said. "Why do you really do this to him all time?"
Only TK knew the real reason why, but he promised Kari he wouldn't tell the others. "Ah, never mind that." He said. "I'm going to walk her home." He said and they left.
The others were beginning to get really suspicious. Kari was obviously hiding something, but whatever it was it had to wait.
They were meeting with Tai's gang to help work the stage in the auditorium.
See… this was going to be no ordinary play. They wanted this to actually look real, like a watching a movie without the screen, and they had to work on everything.
Izzy was in charge of Lights, special effects.
Ken and Cody were working on the sceneries, and quick scenery changing.
Matt and Tai had a job that required stead hands, and strong arms. Hanging things on wire, even people to make it look as thought they were really flying.
Sora was in charge of making the costumes that did not exist in the in costume box, or making the ones that did exist. right size for who would be wearing them.
Since the play was going to be a musical, Yolei Sora and Mimi were going to be choruses. The people who sang parts of the songs behind the singers.
Kari and TK were in charge of ticket sales, together as usual.
As for Davis, he was in charge of making or finding any music that they could use in the plays, and from what everyone had heard about it, he had really been working hard at it.
But lately, he hadn't been coming to the group, and even if he had, he was really looking bummed. He never spoke to anyone unless he was spoken too, and didn't even so much as glance over to Kari, and refused to work with her unless she was in trouble.
Tai, was one of the only other people there who knew why Davis was bummed, and why Kari had been teasing him overtime, but he also promised not to tell anyone why.
"You okay, Tai." said Matt. "You've been awfully quiet these past few days."
Tai looked up, "Oh… I've just been working hard, that's all." He lied on that bit. _"Somehow we have to get her to tell him."_ He said to himself.
**_Meanwhile_**…
Kari and TK were preparing the tickets at Kari's place. "Kari, you have to stop trying to deny it, and just go and tell him." TK said.
"TK, I can't." said Kari. "What if he's so mad that he never wants to even look at me anymore?"
The truth was, Kari was over-teasing Davis because she was really trying to cover up her feelings for him that she had just realized were growing.
Nobody thought it would happen, but Kari was starting to fall for Davis, and all the heroic things he had done.
Risking his life countless times over to save everyone; Namely, herself. He was incredible, and yet she always knew deep down that she liked him, maybe… even--
But she didn't know if he still really loved her. "I don't want to rush into things, and make it all worse. Why, is it that I can't ever do things right?!"
TK put a comforting arm around her should. "Kari… listen." He said. "We're all just worried about you, and Davis too. We just don't want to see you guys get hurt."
Kari still didn't know. She really just didn't know if she should just tell Davis about her feelings or let him do it first.
2. Got alot to do
**CHAPTER TWO**
The next day, everyone was so psyched about who's script was going to be the play they had done.
The teacher was looking not only for a story about Christmas in the least, but also a story in general. A story that had some of the major things. Passion, romance, suspense.
A lot of people entered many different scripts.
_-The Little drummer boy_.
_-Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer._
_-Frosty the Snowman_.
_-Santa Claus is coming to town._ That was TK and Kari's idea.
And a whole lot of others, and finally the big moment.
The teacher came in and set down his papers. "Well, class… you all did very well on your scripts." He said. "You all get extra credit."
"But as for which script goes on stage. Well… I really enjoyed reading these. In a way, you are all winners, but to be in a more accurate way…"
"_Davis_… is the winner."
The whole class erupted into small gasps and comments like. "Davis… why him?" Davis was just as surprised too. "Mine sir?" he asked.
The teacher nodded. "I've never heard of any story like this one." He replied. "Heart warming, magical, sad… I'll never think the same way again."
Davis almost felt embarrassed.
"Now class… Davis' script will be the play we shall do. And that play is…" he wrote on the blackboard the name of the play.
"_Jack Frost."_
…
"Jack Frost?" said Sora, as she viewed the cast list at the end of the day. "Sounds interesting. Who's staring in it."
Davis handed her the list. "Well, me, Kari, and TK for sure." He said. "And I'm going around and asking people who like to try out."
He handed her a list of all the different roles there were, so far only the roles of who Davis Kari and TK were playing were filled out.
**_Jack Frost_**: Davis
**_Elisa:_** Kari.
**_Sir. Ravano Rightfellow:_** TK
Davis also planed to have auditions, if anybody wanted a role in the play, they could have it. "One thing is for sure, I'm going to need one of the preschool-classes to sign up."
"Preschoolers?" asked Kari. "Why?"
Davis looked at her strangely. "I just need them, that's all." He said calmly. "I got to go, I got tons to do."
Davis was obviously still a little upset, almost as if he wasn't looking forward to this play, even though he was starring in it as the main attraction.
Kari watched Davis until he was out of sight. "Kari, Kari?" called Yolei. "Earth to Kari. We have work to do." She said.
Kari came to her senses. "Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry." She said.
TK and Tai exchanged looks of dismay. Obviously she hadn't even considered any thought of even talking to Davis about how she really felt.
…
By next week, Davis had his scripts and story plot for his play ready, and he made a list of all the different sceneries and special effects would be required. So far, everything was going fine.
A preschool classes had also signed up for some roles as well.
Some kids would be playing as robotic-knights, referred to in the script as **_K-nights._** Some would be performing as **_Snow gypsies._** Some would even pretended to be some of the other villages who were just supposed to walk about on stage.
And a set of third graders were given some other roles. One of which included the Narrator of the story, who would sit on the sidelines and tell the story over.
As for costumes. Well the preschoolers and the two third graders were already having their costumes made by their mothers, and the chest already provided most of the costumes the main actors would need.
Sora's work was already beginning to get easier. She did however need to make a few special ones that the chest did not provide, and that Davis would have to design.
Now the sceneries were mostly just large tapestry paintings the stage workers could just lift to swap with when changing sceneries.
Most of the props were taken care of too. Large paper-snowflakes. Scenery statures. Izzy even brought in some heavy-duty fog machines to help with special effect and scenes.
So far, no one else had signed up for any other major roles in the play, and that made the rest of the group wonder…
"Hey, maybe some of us can star in the play." Tai suggested. "We don't always have to be behind and off stage, and most of the jobs only require one person anyways."
Everyone began agree. Some of them, namely Yolei, had always wanted to be on stage. So some of them began to sign up.
By the end of the next week, the play was scheduled for three days before Christmas break, which was only two more weeks away, and everything was nearly done.
Yolei, Ken, Tai, and even Cody agreed to be in the play. Joe even came over to help take Tai's place backstage.
All that remained wad the final two costumes for Sora to make, and for everyone to memorize their lines.
Davis handed Sora the Jack Frost outfit he needed. Davis was portraying an elf, so he'd have pointy ears, and wearing a sparkling blue-silver elf's outfit with add-ons.
**_(To make it easier. Davis will wear what the Rakin Bass Jack Frost wore, but with a sparkling cape and tulle-scarves waving from the sleeves.)_**
However, he was almost too embarrassed to give the last one to her. It was a very special one for Kari that was desperately needed for the end of the story.
Kari needed… _A wedding dress._
Nobody was actually shocked or upset in any way that Kari needed one. They read the script, and they knew what it was for.
They really didn't know why Davis wrote the script they way it was happening, and suggested that he change it.. but he'd refused and kept it the way it was.
Kari so desperately wanted to find out why Davis had wrote the script so what happened, happened. In fact, she wondered where he had gotten the idea for the whole plot.
The plot of the story was…
_Jack Frost was portrayed as a handsome elf-sprite well known, but could not be seen or heard at all. He can never be a simple, man, but falls in love with a beautiful woman and wishes to become human and win her heart._
Kari had to know why the end of the script seemed the way it was. "Why would Davis do this to himself?" she wondered.
3. She's totally into him
**CHAPTER THREE**
Less than a week to go before Christmas break, and the first of three performances.
One was going to be for the preschoolers, then another one for all the students in the high-school.
Finally, as a special treat before the break, the principal and student-body president had arranged for a Christmas-time Dance before the break. It would take place after one final performance.
And as an added bonus. Members of the cast required no admittance, so they could just go in and out as they pleased. They could even wear their costumes if they wished too.
…
Davis was as home the night before dress rehearsal for practice. He didn't have to learn his lines, because… well he wrote the script, he could do all his own performances with his eyes closed.
He was however trying on his costume, and it fit him perfectly. He really did look like someone totally different in that outfit.
Davis had one of the most fun and awesome roles in the play. Being Jack Frost, he got to dress like an elf super-hero, he got to fly on wires.
Izzy even had some special effects done that would make it look like Davis was really blowing freezing winds from his mouth.
The catch was how he wrote the entire story. He didn't just write them up from some book he read or a game he played. He wrote it all up from scratch, and selected the music, based on his feelings.
Davis sometimes did feel like the Jack Frost in his story. Well known, but never seen. Or in Davis' case, well known, but hardly appreciated.
True his friends did great jobs too in the past, but in the end it was always Davis who won the war for them. Davis who saved the world, and what did he get in return.
He got teased by Kari as she flirted with TK. His friends did give him their thanks but sometimes just acted as though he really wasn't there.
Davis wasn't even looking forward to the dance next week, because he was afraid he'd be one of he only people there with no date.
Usually Davis went all school dances, stag. No date, so he went alone hoping for the best. Bad idea!
All those happy couples, TK and Kari included. Davis always left early before the stress and envy ate him alive.
Every time he thought of asking Kari to the dance, he suddenly stopped at the last few feet, because she would mostly be talking with TK, but sometimes, if she was free… well--
He just chickened out.
Davis thought it over a lot. This year, he wasn't going to try and ask her out, or even go to the dance at that. He'd do his performance, then maybe stay around and receive a few compliments from the audience and then split.
Suddenly, there was a knock at his bedroom door. He heard Kari's voice from the other side, "Davis… can I come in?" she asked.
Davis almost thought the last thing he needed to see right now was Kari's face. "Yeah… come on in." he called to her.
Kari came in. "Wow." She said as she stared at him in his costume. "Davis, you look great."
Davis almost blushed. "Gee… thanks." He said. He also remembered back to earlier costume fittings how pretty Kari looked in the gown Sora made for Kari.
Remembering of course, that he designed it himself.
_The body-part clung to her, accentuating her narrow waist, and it had a very full skirt, which flowed around her loosely. Her veil was held in place with a crown of white roses._
"You… looked pretty good in that wedding gown today too." He replied.
Kari blushed this time. "Thanks." She said. "You really are a great costume designer. Maybe you can get a career out of it."
Davis rubbed his the back of his head. "Aw… I'm just an amateur." He said. "Uh… how come you're here? I though you knew all your lines already."
Kari hesitated a bit. "Davis… why did you write the end of the script the way it is?" she asked. "I've never seen anything like this in my life. Why are you doing this to yourself."
Davis had a feeling someone was going to ask that. He didn't want her to know the real reason why, so he quickly came up with a fib.
"I just it thought it may be a change." Davis said. "You know, so people would think differently about things, and know that they're not always as clear as you think."
Kari could sense a tender bit of sadness in his words. "You're lying, Davis." Was what she wanted to say, but for some reason. "Okay… I get it." Was what she said instead.
"I… uh… better go." And she left.
Davis turned his head to stare at the floor, catching a likeness in his carpet. "Real smooth Davis, real smooth." He said to himself.
**_Meanwhile_**…
Kari was sitting outside the building to her own apartment across the street. On a bench. It was snowing just a little bit, and it actually made the night sky look prettier.
Yolei came along on her way home from work "Kari?" she asked sitting down beside her. "What's wrong? You're looking down."
Kari decided to come clean. "Alright… if you must know." She said. "… I'm… I'm totally into Davis."
Yolei's body went wild. "EEE! I knew it."
"Yeah… but--" Kari replied, "I still don't know if he's willing to give us a chance anymore."
"So then, why don't you go and ask him?" asked Yolei.
"Well I did, but He was just looking even more stranger than ever. I think he even lied to me about why he wrote his script ending the way it was."
Yolei was also someone who questioned Davis about the end of the story and why it was the way it was, but Davis just fibbed his way out of it.
"I just don't know what to do anymore." replied Kari. "I'm even kind of afraid of going to the dance, because I don't want to see him walk out again."
Kari had been to every single school dance Davis ever went to, and there was not a single one of them that Davis didn't stay for the whole thing.
She hated how he walked out, broken hearted, wasted money, and dreading about it for days. "So just ask him to the dance." Yolei suggested.
Kari was really not sure about that. Her last visit to Davis wasn't really about the script only, she was testing him to see if maybe she did still have a chance with him.
So far… Davis was still as deep down in the dumps as ever, and still keeping most of his distance from her, and who was to blame.
"I don't know, maybe I just wont go to the dance." Kari said and she left to go inside.
Yolei shook her head in dismay. "Kari… if you don't get your act together, you could end up losing it all." She said to herself.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Fencing was inducted at the Youth Olympic Games at the inaugural edition in 2010.
Medal summaries
Boys
Épée
Foil
Sabre
Girls
Épée
Foil
Sabre
Mixed
Mixed team event
Medal table
As of the 2018 Summer Youth Olympics.
See also
Fencing at the Summer Olympics
External links
Youth Olympic Games
Youth Olympics
Fencing | wikipedia |
Card Captor Sakura 1. The Adventure Begins
**Authoress's note:** Ok this is my first time writing a Sakura X Syaoran fic. And actually at first it was my Best friend's story at first but he didn't feel like writing it but it sounded interesting so I volunteered to write it for him.(he better thank me later) some ideas I got from a manga called "Tsurasa" n I do not own any of the CCS characters. The rest are ma own ideas. So enjoy….
* * *
**Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins**
Dark clouds cover the skies of the Clow Kingdom. Water and moisture fill the air, which lead the people of his majesty to shelter in the confinements of their homes. For the past few months chaos has been rotting the world, covering it in its veil of darkness. High atop one of the towers of the castle, his Majesty stands, overlooking the vast and beautiful lands of his kingdom. Yukito, the king's advisor and friend, enters the room, smiling at the king's concern.
The king broke the endless silence, "It has begun."
A bit surprised, Yukito replies, "Yes, it has begun. What shall we do King Touya?"
Never leaving his position, "Did you call for Sakura?"
Astounded, Yukito answers, "Yes, she should be here any minute. Why did you want me to call for her? After all she's not done with her schooling and I don't see any connection between with what's going on and her."
Turning to face the white-haired mage, he answers, "I'm assigning Sakura to find the rods and bring them back here, before they land in the wrong hands."
Shocked, Yukito objects, "But she's only sixteen and the only heir to the throne and beside she doesn't have that much power."
"Yet."
"Your Majesty, with all due respect, this plan is preposterous. You do not surely wish to threaten the life of your sister. If she dies, we… I mean the Kingdom will not have an heir unless you get married and have kids."
"I'd rather let my Kingdom have no ruler than let the world be conquered by darkness." He paused for a moment, thinking. "I know this may sound absurbed but Sakura is the only one with enough power to go on the quest to find the all-powerful rods. Besides, she did capture and transform the Clow Cards."
"Capturing and transforming the Clow Cards pale in comparison to what you're assigning Sakura to do. It is too much for her. Please reconsider!"
"Yukito, there's no other way."
"There must be another way! Sakura is only-"
"I know. I also know that you see Sakura not only as a princess but like a well-loved sister, as the rest of the people see her."
Yukito stays silent. Moments pass as silence took over. Just then, a cheerful childish voice erodes and soon after follows by a hug for Yukito.
"Yukito!"
"Well, hey there." He looked over the emerald green eye and auburn haired princess. He saw that she is wearing the traditional mage-in-training outfit; a long sleeveless and strapless dress that stops at the bottom of the rear and white solid stockings that are half way up the thigh with orange shoes and blanket length cloth that starts five inches from the shoulders and stops at the tip of the middle finger with a round bell hanging from the bottom end of the cloth dangling at the same length of the dress. "Don't you look pretty?"
She blushed at the remark then wined, "Yukito! I don't like wearing these types of outfits. They're too…."
"Revealing?" Touya smirks.
"Touya!" Sakura screams out. Touya could not help but stifle a laugh, which causes Sakura to stare at him in a death glare. "Don't you start Touya. Why'd you even send me to that school?"
"Why?" saying in a 'as-a-matter-of-fact' tone, "Because it's the best. It provides security, a well-rounded education, a magnificent scenery, and… because I said so."
Sakura grunts and screams while Yukito, sweat dropping, tries to settle the frantic princess. His Majesty just laughs at his dear sister's childish behavior whenever he provokes her and enjoys doing so. All of a sudden, the princess's mood changes and her curiosity takes over.
Facing her brother, she asks, "Touya?" He just gives an affirmative grunt. "The school board told me you summoned me. Why? Is there something wrong?" Touya stares at the ground looking rather sadden which scared Sakura because for one, Touya was never sad and two, if he was, he would never show it especial in front of Sakura. The only times Sakura saw his face plastered with saddness was when their father died suddenly and Touya had to take the role of a king, father, and brother all at the same time; he had to be strong for Sakura's sake. As for their mother, Sakura never knew because Nadeshiko died while giving birth to Sakura so she never knew how Touya reacted. Although whenever Sakura mentioned their mother, Touya would enter what seemed to belike an endless mode of silence so Sakura never raised the subject until Touya came to her and told her how their mother was like and how Sakura so reminded him of her.
"Take a look." Touya motions Sakura to stand beside him. Sakura does so. "What do you see? Notice anything happening lately?"
Tear starts to form in her eyes as she realizes what is going on and had a feeling what her big brother is going to ask. She looks into the eyes of her brother and states, "You want… m-me t-to find t-the rods, r-right?"
Kneeling, he embraces his sister in his warm embrace and whispers in her ear, "I know you're scared Sakura, but you can do this And if you want you can take a companion with you." Hearing this slightly relaxes Sakura. Sakura returns the hug and rushes to her room to get her stuff ready for her rigorous adventure.
Yukito then turns to face Touya, "You sure this is wise? I have a feeling there are much in store for Sakura. Dangerous things. When are you going to start acting as a brother/father figure to Sakura instead of a king whose only concern is his people and kingdom." With that said the white mage left the king to his thoughts.
_I'm doing this in Sakura's best interest. She'll thank me someday._
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
**Li Residence**
"Of course mother. I accept." Syaoran replies to a self-appointed lady sitting formally on a dragon styled oak chair. Yelen signals Syaoran to leave and he does what he is 'told'.
Syaoran is a seventeen year old teenager of average height with brown hair and amber deep eyes. He prefers wearing plain clothes; jeans and a shirt. He walks in the corridors of the rich estate toward his room. He enters and looks over his room in which he had not been in, in ages. Opening a nearby closet, which contains his weaponry, he takes out a couple of sword, daggers and a bow and arrows and places them on himself as of preparing for a war. Taking out a bag, he stuffs some clothing and some essentials for the trip and finishes by covering himself with a coat to hide his weapons. He takes one last look at his room, remembering when his life was simple. He walks out of his room, out of the mansion and into the garden and soon out of the estate, one hand carrying his light luggage and the other holding a crimson red amulet dangling from his necklace. He hopes to return home from the quest with both rods in hand along with Victory.
* * *
Well there you have it the first chapter. Man that was tiring. Newaz if you like the story so far check out my other stories and kindly request others to read this story along with ma other ones.(I wanna know if I'm doing a good job)
2. On the Road
**Authoress's note(must read, really important!): **ok this is an announcement. By March 1st my penname will change, to what I don't know yet. Ya newaz oda than that enjoy reading this chapter.
* * *
**Chapter 2: On the Road**
The trees are at their greenest, the flowers are in full bloom, and the birds' young have begun to fly on their own. It is a beautiful day despite the fact that the kingdom is covered in darkness (not literally, basically like evil rampage kind of darkness). The princess, Tomoyo, and Kero-chan travel along the dirt road, starting their search. Tomoyo is a raven black haired girl with dark blue eyes who's been Sakura's best friend since they were youngsters. Kero-chan is a small yellow teddy-bear like creature with white wings and a long tail. When Sakura had to capture the cards, Kero-chan was there to guide her.
Kero spoke up, "So…what are we lookin' for again?"
Sakura smacked her forehead while Tomoyo covered her mouth, giggling innocently. Sakura almost screamed at the top of her lungs, "Kero! How many times do I have to tell you! And _every_ time I tell you, you're stuffing your face with food!"
Kero yelled back, " Well, I need energy to live! And food is one way I can get it…besides it tastes delicious."
Sakura sighed, "Ok, Kero, I'll say this one **_more _**time. WE. ARE. LOOKING. FOR. THE. RODS. The very rods that Clow made during his rule. Legends say that the rods were the very essence of-"
The winds gently blew, stirring the leaves in the trees and on the ground. The birds stopped their singing, the squirrels froze in their places, the deers halted, their ears pricking. The leaves on the ground danced in circles while the leaves attached to the trees gracefully twirled down.
Sakura signaled Tomoyo and Kero to hide in the bushes. Both Tomoyo and the guardian were about to protest when Sakura gave them a look of concern and fear… for their lives. Slowly and carefully, Tomoyo and Kero slipped in the bushes, making a small opening in the bushes to watch the princess. Sakura stood there motionless, eyes closed. She was sensing, sensing if there was someone close and if they are on their side or their enemy. A blur running through the trees flashed in her mind. Yes, someone was present and near._ Whoosh!_ Another blur. Was there more than one? She could not tell for 'it' moves too fast for her to identify. One thing she knew was to stay alert; the first rule of combat …and life. She stayed calm, like her teacher taught her. Eyes are still closed as she continues to search. Moments pass. A shadow hides itself behind a tree. Sakura can see it's a boy. Her hands gently brush the hilts of the swords, one on each side. The target moves yet again and at the same time Sakura's eyes open, searching the shadows for any irregular movements. Still searching until she quickly turned around letting swords meet a sword.
The attacker was very agile. He constantly moved his sword, trying to hit Sakura in any open spot. He tried to hit her side but Sakura blocked it. After she blocked, he immediately aimed for her head, but she blocked it with her other sword. He continued attacking and she continued to block. Sakura saw no way out of this. When it came to attacking physically, she wasn't the best. He just kept attacking, left, right, center, right. He continued his rapid attacks, backing her into a tree.
Sakura continued blocking until she felt a tree behind her. His sword clashed against her swords, knocking both out of her hands. The steel blade of his sword touched the skin of her neck. Now Sakura was cornered. Her captor has messy brown hair and amber deep eyes, His breathing was normal, seems as if he had no struggle at all fighting the princess. His body was so close she felt her face burning. Nobody has ever been this close to her. It seems as if this is the end for her and her search. She failed her kingdom. The thought of failure to her kingdom and brother made her extremely depressed. She felt tears begin to water in her eyes.
Syaoran had his enemy in his hand (not literally). He could kill her right now and rid the world of one of the evils, but he couldn't. Looking in her emerald green eyes was mesmerizing. Those eyes showed happiness, joy, and everything pure, but right now they held fear and deep sadness. It did not matter. It's his mission to find the rods and stop anyone else who wants their greedy, power-hungry hands on them. He was ready for the kill when suddenly her eyes shut and tears began streaming down her cheeks. Syaoran was stumped. Never in his life has he seen his enemies cry as they were about to die. He was staring to have second thought. Maybe she wasn't the enemy. While he was pondering about it, he temporarily let his guard down.
This was the chance Keroberos was waiting for. He transformed into his true form and went charging in, ignoring Tomoyo who was about to protest. Keroberos wasn't going to let some swordsman hurt his mistress. His duty was to protect her and protect her, he shall.
Syaoran was slowly pulling his sword away from her neck when out of the corner of his eye he saw a stream of fire coming his way. By reflex, he jumped away amazed that the fire didn't even touch the young girl. He landed on a tree branch and stared into the eyes of his attacker who is a golden yellow lion with white wings. The most incredible creature he'd seen. Nonetheless, the creature tried to attack him so therefore 'it' got in his way of his mission. Syaoran went charging in, jumping from the tree branch toward the beast, who was preparing to fire, with sword vertically above his head.
Sakura opened her eyes when she felt a blaze of fire pass her. She immediately turned her attention to her flying guardian. From the looks of it, it seems as if a brawl was about to begin. She watched the horrific event happening in front of her.
The two opponents clashed at each other; neither one giving up nor giving in. Syaoran dashed toward Keroberos while Keroberos spurted out a line of fire. Syaoran quickly changed directions and landed safely on a tree while at the same time drew out a magic paper tablet, leaving it in the air. He thrust the flat edge of his sword at the paper and shouted, "Wind!" Keroberos barely had anytime to react of it came so fast. A stream of spiraling wind came out of the tablet and went straight for him. The attack hit its target and soon Keroberos was thrown into a tree, badly injured.
This was the opportune moment for him to deliver the final blow. He jumped off the tree and started the dashing attack. He ran as fast as he could as to not give the beast a moment to recover. Just as he was about to pierce the beast's heart with his sword, Sakura stood in front of Keroberos, arms spread out while shouting, "Stop!"
Syaoran skidded to a halt. Breathing heavily, he shouted, "Get out of the way! That beast tried to attack me. I'm only doing what I'm trained to do."
Sakura's eyebrows furrowed, she stated, "_That beast_ is my guardian. He was only doing his duty to protect me. And if I can recall you attacked first, remember?"
Syaoran yelled, "Well. I overheard you talking about the rods and I assumed you were the enemy!"
Sakura simply said, "Maybe they should've taught you to never eavesdrop and have a better judgment of character." She added, "Also to never attack poor, defenseless girls."
Syaoran had to keep himself from laughing. "Poor, defenseless girls? I definitely did not attack a defenseless girl. You have twin blades."
She stomped on the ground, sending dirt flying around her foot. She argued, "If you noticed, all I did was parry and you easily defeated me."
Now Syaoran was stumped. He knew she was right. Darn, he had nothing to say to argue with her. There she was with a smile on her face, knowing she won.
Keroberos returned to his mini form and rested on Sakura's head. A quizzical expression appeared on Syaoran's face. Sakura simply smiled and laughed at Syaoran's sudden change of expression.
"This is Keroberos's alternate form."
Syaoran poked Kero and said, "You mean to tell me that the great beast I fought was just a stuffed bear?"
At that moment, Kero bit his finger. Syaoran waved his arm violently, trying to get the thing off him. Finally, Kero let go and flew toward Syaoran's face with his paw pointing at him and head throbbing.
"Look kid. I. AM. NOT. A. STUFFED. BEAR!"
They heard the bushes moving. Syaoran drew his sword , ready for whatever it was. Tomoyo came out, removing the leaves in her hair.
She smiled and sweetly said, "Thought I'd come out since it's safe now." She faced Sakura. "You're not hurt, are you Sakura?"
Sakura shook her head and replied, "I'm fine Tomoyo. Don't worry."
Tomoyo smiled, "That's good." She looked at the sky. It was getting dark. The sun was already setting. "I think we should make camp tonight. You can join us if you want Mr…."
"It's Li. Syaoran Li." Syaoran pondered about the invitation for a moment. He usually traveled alone, but traveling with them might help him figure out why these people are looking for the rods and what their purpose for the rods are. "Sure. Why not? The more the merrier right?"
Tomoyo clapped her hands together. "Excellent! You can help by gathering wood. Sakura, you go gather some mushrooms and berries. Kero and I will set up the tent and prepare the bonfire."
They all nodded and went to do their chores. Moments pass. Sakura came back with white mushrooms and blueberries and a gallon of water. Soon after Syaoran returned with an armful of twigs and branches. Kero was already done preparing for the bonfire and was soon getting wood from the pile Syaoran just gathered and placing them in position. He then spurted fire in the pile of wood. Kero was definitely an amazing creature. Tomoyo got out of the tent, pot in hand. She placed the pot above the fire and poured water into it.
Syaoran sat near the open fire, observing Kero, Tomoyo, and especially Sakura. Tomoyo is wearing a long white dress, a white hooded cloak, white elbow-length gloves, and white shoes. Judging by the clothing and color, Syaoran would guess that Tomoyo is a white mage. White mages specialize in healing and other magic that help raise status during battle. Tomoyo and Sakura talked to each other with ease, laughing and smiling. From the looks of it, they must be very good friends. As for Sakura, she appears to be the cheery type; always a smile on her face. Just the thought of it, put a small smile on Syaoran's face.
Syaoran was so concentrated on his thoughts that he did not notice a pair of red glowing eyes hiding in the dark corner of the trees.
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Well there you have it, chapter two. N Ya about the fighting scenes, I'm not very good describing it or thinking of it as I write. Hehe but I hope it was good enough. As usu. Review.
3. Another Day, Another Fight
**Authoress note: **Ok yea I finally updated for this story. Hey don't look at me, not my fault that I have so many schoolwork, especially from two AP classes! At least be glad that I managed to actually finish writing this chapter. So on with the story….
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The sun tried it's best to shine through the dark clouds. With so much effort, only a small portion of sunlight touched the land and its riches. Creatures of the land were still adjusting to what seems like an endless abyss. The small amount of sunlight managed to penetrate the forest's canvas and unto a small camp, where four figures lay in a deep slumber.
Outside of the tent, a certain messy brown haired boy, lying with arms behind his head near the extinguished campfire, awoken with the sunlight on his face. Lazily opening his eyelids, he adjusted his vision to better suit the environment. He sat up, stretched, and yawned. Standing on his feet, he studied his surroundings and nearly forgot where he was and what happened. Without thinking or knowing, his eyes fell on the tent. He didn't know how long he was staring at that tent. He continued to stare until amber eyes met emerald eyes. Both continued to stay as they were for a few precious moments and when both realized what they were doing, they both averted each other's gaze, a hint of red tint on both their faces.
Both stayed as they were until Tomoyo came out of the tent yawning.
Sakura suddenly exclaimed, "I'll go gather the firewood. Wouldn't want to freeze ourselves or eat cold food. Hehe." She left laughing nervously.
Syaoran then headed the other way without a word. Tomoyo stared at Sakura's direction then Syaoran and back to Sakura. Something was going on between the two. Tomoyo can detect that something was happening between the two even if they can't see it. In her mind, she was conjuring dozens of plans to get their feelings out in the open. Humming, Tomoyo went back into the tent to get the pots and pans and began formulating a plot.
The water current flows steadily, gently rocking the soil that encases the river. Sakura sits at the edge with legs drawn to her chest, admiring the serenity of the river. _I wish I could see the sun at day again and the moon and stars at night._ Looking down at the water, she sighed. She listened carefully to her surroundings while her eyes were closed. The bushes rustled. Sakura dismissed it as the movement of the wind. The bushes moved again. Sakura examined her surroundings, but found nothing suspicious. She averted her attention back on the river. The moment she did, an enormous black figure beast with red bloodthirsty eyes jumped out of the bush and attacked Sakura.
Sakura managed to dodge the attack, but nearly. The beast's claw embedded its mark on her right leg. Sakura's hands moved to her side to find that she left her swords at the camp. _Great! How smart of me to go into the forest without any weapons._ The beast attacked again, but Sakura rolled to the side, near the edge of the river. The beast spurted out black fire. Before it could hit her, Sakura extended her hand and cried out "Shield!" The impact sent Sakura toppling in the river and the beast flying into the bushes. Sakura tried to swim out but couldn't due to her bleeding leg. Suddenly, the steady flowing river turned into a raging rapid. Sakura tried her hardest to swim, but the current conquered her. Her movements slowly steadied. Her sight, her consciousness, and her nerves faded away as she allowed the current to carry her body. As her body was carried, the black beast emerged from the bushes and transformed into a man clad in black. The man had thirsty blood red eyes, hair as spiky and messy as a wild wolf, and has a stiff and chiseled body.
He stared in the direction Sakura floated away and a smile of content appeared on his face. _Good. The princess is gone. That's one less person to worry about. Mission accomplished._ A vertical black hole appeared beside the man. He then stepped into the portal and disappeared out of thin air.
The forest around the camp lay still; no sudden movements, no noise, no wind. Above on the braches of the treetops, lay a sleeping figure. Below, Tomoyo practices her magic while Kero is supervising. Syaoran lays on the branch half asleep, sensing and measuring Tomoyo's level of magic. Tomoyo is strong magically, but weak physically. Her high level magic makes up for her lack of physical strength. Syaoran was getting ready to permit Sleep to take over when he heard Tomoyo's scream. He expertly jumped down from tree branch to tree branch and landed in front of Tomoyo, face to face with a silver furred wolf.
Beast and man stared for what seemed like hours. The silver wolf stared, never blinking. It's head bent down, eyes still gazing into Syaoran's. A piece of white cloth fell onto the floor from the wolf's mouth. As soon as the cloth was released from its mouth, the silver wolf gently backed away and sat on its hind legs like an obedient dog.
Immediately, Tomoyo's eyes widened; she recognized the piece of fabric. Full of rage, Tomoyo launched at the wolf but was held back by a strong arm.
"Let me go! That monster devoured Prin-, Sakura!"
Despite her cries of anguish, Syaoran refused to release her. Still, she continued to plead Syaoran for her release, so she could avenge her dear friend.
Syaoran calmly spoke, "Tomoyo, if the wolf really did devour Sakura, why would it come back with evidence? And why didn't it attack you and me as well?"
Tomoyo slowly calmed down and apologized to Syaoran. Syaoran slowly approached the wolf, its eyes still glaring. He bent his knees low enough to come face to face with the silver beauty.
"Why are you here?" The wolf continued to stare. "Do you know where our friend is?"
As if understanding what he said, the wolf stood on all fours and began leading the way.
The river's current steadied. The body of a girl lay on the border of land and water. She lay there motionless, devoid of any sign of life.
A cloaked stranger with a basket of flowers and fruits on her arm passed by and saw the sleeping form.
"Oh my."
The wolf traveled along the invisible road with Syaoran, Tomoyo, and Kero right behind. A few hours passed and the longer they traveled, the further into the forest they went. Although the day was only half done, the sky cast darkness, enveloping night for those venturing in the forest.
Kero disrupted the silence that lingered among them. "Are we there yet? We've been traveling for so long! And…(stomach grumbling) I'm sooooooooooooo hungry!"
The wolf let out a low and silent growl.
Syaoran spoke out, "Don't you ever think about anything else besides your next meal, eh fur ball?"
Fuming, Kero shouted back, "I AM NOT A FUR BALL! I'D LET YOU KNOW THAT--"
Tomoyo interrupted Kero, "Look, there's a cabin!"
All three of them looked at the direction Tomoyo was pointing. Indeed there was a cabin, right in the middle of the forest. The lights were on and a shadow moved around in the logged house. The wolf started toward the door and the rest followed. As soon as the wolf reached the door, it scratched the door with its paw. The shadow in the light glided to the door. The door slowly opened revealing a woman of age twenty-three. She wore simple attire; she was dressed in a light silverfish-gray short-sleeved dress that barely touched the floor. Her face shone in the moonlight. Her hair was bundled up in the bonnet, but some golden brown hair strands fell on the sides of her face. Her eyes are the same color as her hair, but with a touch of liveliness shone from them.
Speaking softly and gently, she asked, "Is there something I can do for you?" Before anyone could answer, she exclaimed, "Oh, there you are SilverFang. Where were you? I was so worried." SilverFang licked her fingers as if to comfort the young woman. The young woman remembered she had company on her front door. "Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Luna Moonlight and this is my friend SilverFnag. So is there a reason why SilverFang brought you here?"
The moment Luna finished, Tomoyo sprang to Luna, knocking down Syaoran and Kero in the process.
Tomoyo spoke hysterically, "Have you seen a girl with long auburn hair and green eyes about this high? She's a happy girl that smiles all the time and she has this necklace that looks like a star in … in a circle with protruding wings from the sides and…and she goes by the name of-"
"Whoa. Slow down. Now I don't know about the girl you're describing, but I did find a young girl with long auburn hair by the river. She's resting now, but you can look if she's the one you're looking for."
Tomoyo bowed to her repeatedly while saying 'thank you' repeatedly. All went inside one by one. Tomoyo immediately went to the bedside of the sleeping girl. Kero flew to the bowl of sweets on the table and began feasting. Syaoran stood in the center, examining his surroundings. The place looked simple; there were wooden furniture, just simple furniture.
All of a sudden, Tomoyo's cries echoed throughout the cabin. Everyone rushed to her aid and found her kneeling on the ground with her hands covering her face. Kero flew close to her and asked what the matter was. Her response was barely above a whisper. Kero asked again.
She spoke a little louder, "I-It's S-Sakura. (sniff) S-She's a-alright, she's alive." All of a sudden she cried hysterically, "She's alright! I can't believe we finally found her! I thought I'd never see her again!" Tomoyo broke down into tears of happiness.
Everyone sweat dropped. Syaoran looked suspiciously at Luna. Soon Luna noticed his hard cold stare. She sighed and walked into the kitchen. Syaoran followed suit. As Luna sat on the wooden chair, Syaoran gently slammed the table with his hand and stared coldly into Luna's eyes.
He began to speak, "Is there something you're hiding from us?"
She coolly replied without losing eye contact, "Perhaps I am, perhaps I am not. Whether I am or not does not concern you or your friends."
Sighing, Syaoran massaged the point between his eyes with his fingers. "It does."
Her eyes widened in astonishment. "What do you mean?"
Syaoran continued, "For one, you live here all alone and I could tell through your movement discipline that you know no way of defense. Second, not many people are known to befriend a wolf, especially of one that knows who to befriend and who not to. Third, it was you after all who saved Tomoyo's friend."
She said in amazement, "You are quite a sharp observer."
In the shadows of the night, a black beast with blood red eyes hid, watching through the window in the distance. _So she still lives. I will make sure she doesn't survive this time._
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And there you have it, chapter 3 of my story. Hopefully I'll have more spare time to continue writing this. Hehe. I just had so many more ideas I wanna put in this. Don't worry though there are more to come.
4. Reattack
Author's note: Yay I'm able to update again. Hehe well I've prolonged it long enough. Enjoy… and please review.
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**Chapter 4: Reattack**
The starless sky indicated that the day has taken control. In the gardens of a beautiful stone castle, a man with dark auburn hair and warm brown eyes hidden behind clear spectacles, sat in a field of a variety of flowers. He sat there carelessly, not minding anything else but the words inscribed in a small pink book. As he turned the page a young girl's voice called out, "Papa!" The dark auburn haired man was greeted with a hug. He returned the embrace with one of his own. The young girl he embraced was no older than five years old. Her hair was auburn and her eyes emerald. She would always wear a smile on her face. Following the young girl was a ten year old boy who has raven black hair and dark brown eyes. Both took their place near their father.
The little girl, Sakura, looked up to her father's face and asked, "Papa, what is that you're reading?"
Looking down at the small pink book, he replied, "This?" Sakura nodded. "Well this belonged to your mother, Nadeshiko, once." At the mention of Nadeshiko, the boy, Touya, flinched.
The father, Fujitaka, glanced at his son. Fujitaka smiled sadly at the remembrance of his beloved wife. He was soon in a trance, walking down memory lane, remembering when he first met Nadeshiko to when they started dating to when he proposed and she accepted to when they got married not caring what the king though to when Touya was born and finally to when Nadeshiko died hours after given birth to Sakura. Fujitaka was snapped out of his trance when little Sakura kept calling him.
"Papa, what's in the book?"
Smiling at his curious daughter, he answered, "Your mother's collection of poems. Some she even wrote herself."
Her face beaming and she jumping excitedly, she begged her father to read one. Laughing at her cute behavior, he turned the pages searching for a poem to read. As he was beginning, the children scooted closer to their father.
"There are many things that we overlook.
So many that are undertook.
We are so busy making a living that we forget how to live.
We are overcomed by the glamour of material things that we soon forget completely the true meaning of life.
We are so absorbed by greater desires in life that we forget the value of simple things like a smile.
A simple smile can lighten up a room just as easily as thousands of candles.
A simple smile can bring happiness in someone's life just as easily as a roomful of gold.
A simple smile can uplift morale just as easily as someone lifting up the weight of the world on your shoulders.
A simple smile can give you a fresh of breath air just as easily as walking into a field of open clean air.
A simple smile can give you a ray of sunshine just as easily as the moonlight penetrating the darkness.
Something as simple as a smile can do many wonders thought unimaginable."
Little Sakura's face showed one of admiration. Before Sakura could request her father to recite another one, one of the king's servants came running. When he reached the king, he bowed. His face expressed worry and apprehension but as soon as he was aware that the young princess and prince were present he manipulated his expression to that of seriousness and stolidity. The servant's attempt to hide his emotion was futile since both the children were sharp observers and quite clever for their age.
"Your Majesty, Sorcerer Kirad requests your presence."
Sensing that Sorcerer Kirad was up to something, His Majesty asked, "Did he say specifically why he requests my presence?"
"No sire. He just requested you meet him. No matter how many times I asked he will not abide by my inquiries no longer."
"Very well. Tell him I will be there shortly."
"Yes sire." The servant respectfully bowed and headed toward the castle to give the news to the Sorcerer.
Sakura and Touya looked at each other with uncertainty. Their instincts told them that the renowned Sorcerer had hidden intentions behind his meeting with their father. Before they could commute with their father, Fujitaka ascended and made his way to the castle.
Later into the night, fire erupted and screams broke out throughout the Clow Kingdom, but most heavily centered at the castle. Little Sakura ran down the many corridors, ignoring the pleas of the servants that try to keep her safe. She ran, wearing her pink nightgown, as fast as she could, turning every corners until she reached her father's throne room. She forced the doors wide open and what she saw made her completely devastated. The room was in rags, the curtains half burnt, and bloodshed and bodies laying everywhere. Her eyes wandered and wandered until they focused on her father's dead body surrounded in a pool of blood. Sakura screamed at the top of her lungs until she heard someone calling out her name.
Sakura jolted awake, seeing before her Syaoran with worry in his eyes. Without thinking, she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and cried on his shoulder. Completely taken by surprise and not knowing what to do, Syaoran enclosed her tiny frame within his embrace and allowed her to continue to cry. In the corner of the room, Tomoyo and Kero glanced at each other, both knowing full well what the princess dreamt about.
Syaoran did not know what this sensation he was currently feeling was. All he knew was that it was something long forgotten. He continued comforting Sakura. Soon enough her crying gradually became snuffles.
The door was blasted open, sending the door flying across to the other side of the house along with some splintered wood from the door frame. Blazing red fire replaced the door's existence; fire crackling and devouring any and all remaining presence of what used to be there. The fire door started spitting out fireballs randomly to different sections of the house. Soon the inside of the house looked like a paradise for demons and hell creatures. For a moment the attack ceased. Luna, Syaoran, Sakura, Kero, and Tomoyo waited in anticipation. SilverFang positioned himself in front of the group, to attack if need be. Nothing but silence and the crackling of the fire can be heard. SilverFang was then in attack position; his fur stood on ends, his face scrunched up with his white sharp fangs showing, and his tail pointing straight up.
Out of the fire a huge black wolf-like beast appeared. Its bool-hungry red eyes scanned the vicinity, searching for its target. Those red orbs landed on the quivering calm group. For a moment a look of surprise was seen in the beast's eyes but was quickly changed to the cold and uncaring eyes. Its claws silently dug deep in the cabin ground, signaling his readiness for an attack.
SilverFang snarled at the black beast, daring it to launch its attack.
Luna whispered silently to the group, "We better run now if we value our lives, before the cabin burns down or before that beast sinks his teeth into our flesh." The rest nodded in understanding. When Luna yelled "Run!" the whole group ran out the back way and at the same precise moment the beast launched at them but SilverFang intercepted his attack. The two beasts brawled it out, rolling this way and that way with fangs sinking into the opponent's skin. The fire roared loudly as if cheering on the fight.
Outside the burning cabin, the group watched the shadows that move within. The shadows kept moving neither one giving in. As they were watching the scene, each one's eyes held an emotion; Sakura's eyes held painful memories, Tomoyo's held grief, Luna's held calmness, Kero's held concern, and Syaoran's held caution and suspicion. Suddenly without warning, the cabin collapsed, the fire eating away its dead corpse. Nothing but the mournful song of Nature could be heard.
Luna spoke with a hoarse voice that threatening to reveal her hidden emotion, "We have to go." With that she departed into the night of the forest, to never again lay eyes on her once beautiful home.
The rest followed suit, except one. Tomoyo noticed the absence of her friend. Sakura still stood on the same spot motionless. Placing a comforting arm around Sakura, Tomoyo gently motioned Sakura to follow. Kero flew beside his mistress to show that he is concerned but he will do his best to comfort her.
Silently, they all walked through the forest night, not one saying a word. They continued walking in groups of two; Sakura with her head bent low, with Tomoyo and Syaoran walking near Luna.
Syaoran placed himself at her side. He whispered, "So are you there isn't something you're hiding?"
Without changing her pace or position she responded, "What makes you still sure I'm hiding something?"
"Because there has to be a reason a beast like that attacked a lone cabin."
Luna didn't answer, she stayed silent. "Well, a long time ago I was a-"
Sakura absentmindedly spoke out loud, "I'm sure that was the same creature that attacked me earlier."
At that time, everyone's head snapped her way. Tomoyo looked at the princess with pleading eyes as if asking for it not to be true. Tomoyo stuttered, "W-What did y-you s-say S-Sakura?"
Sakura's head snapped up. She was looking at all of them with confusion in her eyes. Her eyes kept blinking. "Hoe? Did I say something?"
Luna spoke, "You said something pertaining to the beast."
Sakura's eyes landed on the ground as if searching for something hidden underneath. She quietly said, "I think that was the same beast that attacked me when I was by the forest stream." Everyone was listening intently. Not a sound was made from either one of them. Closing her eyes and clutching her hands into fists tightly, Sakura said with tears threatening to fall, "I bet that monster knew I was still alive and hunted me down. If it wasn't for me, then your house would still be in tact and your wolf friend would still be alive. It's my entire fault!" Tears flowed freely from her face. She shut her eyes tightly to hold in the rest.
Tomoyo and Kero were rubbing her back to try to comfort her but the attempt failed.
Syaoran walked forward and swung his hand which made contact with Sakura's cheek, reverberating sounds throughout the forest. Shock was written on everyone's but Syaoran's faces. Slowly, Sakura lifted her hand to the place where she was slapped. Syaoran sternly said, "Get a grip on yourself. We can't prevent the future from coming." Sakura then turned her head to face him. She was about to say something when Kero flew in front of Syaoran's face and yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KID, HITTING SAKURA LIKE THAT! LAY A FINGER ON HER AGAIN AND I'LL-"
Sakura stopped her guardian. "Kero… that's enough. He's right."
"WHAT! YOU'RE SIDING WITH THE GAKI!"
Syaoran retorted, "At least I'm not a stuffed toy."
Kero was about to charge at Syaoran when Tomoyo held him back by holding his tail. Despite the fact that Tomoyo was holding his tail, Kero kept charging toward Syaoran, his little fists swinging rapidly, trying to plummet Syaoran. Syaoran placed his pointer finger on Kero's forehead, causing Kero to stop, his eyes blinking in confusion. Syaoran then said, "Bug off." Right after he said that, he flicked Kero's forehead, sending him flying backwards. Sakura caught the flying Kero as he was fumbling-flying backwards. She patted Kero's head, trying to cool him down but he was mumbling inaudible curses like "Stupid gaki."
Sakura then said, "I think we better get going." Walking silently toward the front, she passed by Syaoran and glanced at him with eyes full of sorrow and regret. She continued walking. Amber eyes still gazed at her retreating back, still watching, watching her every movement. Syaoran snapped back into reality. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the feelings that was starting to bloom. _What's going on with me?_
If it were possible, the night sky turned even darker. The night clouds covered the stars and the moon, the source of light for weary night travelers. Wolf cries echoed throughout the darkened woods, howling in agony from the absence of the moonlight. The leaves from the trees and bushes rustled from the wind's gentle blow. The rustling, the howling, the hooting of the owls, and other noises heard in the forest, blended together in harmony to create Nature's symphony.
The group continued traveling despite the fact they can barely see anything. Luna was in the lead since she knew the forest better than anyone in the group, followed by Sakura who was holding a sleeping Kero, then Tomoyo who had her head hung down, and finally Syaoran who was paying close attention to his surroundings.
Tomoyo spoke to Syaoran, low enough for only him to hear. "Don't you think you were a bit too hard on Sakura? Shouting would have been okay but slapping her? That's too much for her since she's so fragile and bruises easily."
Upon hearing that Sakura bruises easily, Syaoran instantly felt a pang of guilt hitting him in his heart. Masking his guilt, he replied coldly, "She needs someone to snap her out of it." His eyes instantly focused themselves on Sakura. He continued to stay in that state until he heard Tomoyo talking to him.
"But… couldn't you have done it more gently?"
Syaoran immediately turned his head to face her. He saw in her eyes that she cares truly for her friend's safety and well being. He did no respond. He just continued walking and passed Tomoyo. He heard her whisper, "I guess that's a no," to herself.
Somewhere in the forest, near the vicinity of the traveling group, a silver light shone, zigzagging through the tall trees and stopping at the sight of a red-orange and yellow light. There the silver light stayed, watching them.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Lord of the Rings 1. Intro Neko&The tiara wearing pretty boy
**Hello once again! This is the sequel to Fellowship of the Pen so if ya haven't read it yet, do it now. **
**Now, what randomness can you expect from this fic? Well, just read and find out! New replacements I need to mention are:**
**Eomer- Marth **
**Gollum- Neko (oc)**
**And that's it! The rest you'll have to figure out yourselves! So, you know the drill…**
**Read and Enjoy!**
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They were running from an armada of penguins. Quickly they crossed the bridge till one remained.
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS! JUDGEMENT!"
And with that he was gone. They continued outside to safety but instead encountered more penguins. Soon they were overwhelmed. Thick ropes wrapped about him as he fell. Struggling, he looked up into the face of his captor.
"Just one of many tricks this old man can teach you."
He leaned in closer…
"AAAAAhhhhhhh!"
Cloud woke with a start. Wiping the sweat from his brow he looked around. They were still in those accursed mountains. Riku was snoring next to him. Giving him a push, he woke up. Sort of…
"Five more minutes…" he rolled over.
Cloud sighed. "Blizzard!"
"Aahhh! What the hell was _that_ for?-!"
"You wouldn't get up." he said simply.
"Oh…"
Sighing they got up and headed off. Five minutes later they stopped.
"Hey, Cloud?"
"Yeah?"
"We're going in circles."
"Yep."
"'rrr' This _sucks!_ Where's Leggy when you need him?"
"Hey Riku-"
"I mean, the only thing he was good for was directions!"
"Riku-"
"And Link! Talk about Anger Management! He seriously needs help!"
"RIKU!"
"WHAT?-!"
"Do you smell something?"
"Huh?" He stopped and sniffed. A hint of roses hit his nose. It was kind'a nice. "Yeah, what is it?"
"I don't know but I smelt the same thing in Moria…"
"You don't think-"
"I don't know… Lets wait till dark."
So till dark, wait they did. They made camp and pretended to sleep. Soon the scent of roses came about them. Above them came crawling the form of a human or cat… Slowly it crept toward them…
"What's this, precious? Two bishies lost in mountains? Have It maybe they do, precious… Yesss… It they must have-It _I_ must have. Its ours!"
It leapt at Cloud and Riku who dodged and got ready to battle. As the moon came out, they saw what they were up against. They paled. Standing before them was a Fan-girl. She was short and had long brown hair; she was cosplaying as a neko. She looked at Cloud then Riku.
There was a pause.
"RIIKUU!" She charged him.
Not knowing what to do, he fell victim to her glompings.
"Cloud, help!"
He just stood there. "She went for him and not me… Curse you Dumbledore!"
"Cloud!"
"Just hit her, stupid!" he said in a rage.
"But she's a girl!"
"Riku! Such a gentleman!" She punched him. "Give me the precious!"
"Ow!" he punched her back and she fell off. He stood up panting. "What are we supposed to do?"
The Fan-girl charged Cloud next. He stopped her with one hand. "I don't know… Tie her up?"
She stopped. "Oh yes! Tie me up, Precious!"
"Ugh!" he let go.
"CLOUD!" She glomped him. "Give me my precious!"
"Get off!" he yelled. "Riku, do something!"
"Just hit her, stupid!" he mocked.
"That's it!" With one good punch, he knocked her unconscious.
They took a moment to catch their breathe.
"Well, what now?" asked Cloud.
"Well, we cant just leave her here…" -such a gentleman-
"Why not?"
Riku glared at him. "Maybe she knows how to get out of these mountains?"
"I doubt it."
"But she did manage to follow us all the way here so… Why not?"
Cloud looked at him. "She's not coming!"
"I say she is!"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"YES"
"FINE! But when she tries to do something to you in your sleep, don't come crying to me!"
So they set a watch and fell asleep. The Fan-girl already dreaming about bishies.
Meanwhile
-cue dramatic music-
Link, Legolas, and Pikachu were in hot pursuit of Sesshomaru. They had been traveling for quite some time now but traversing a huge world map on foot takes foh-eh-vah!
"Hey, Legolas… How far is it to this Isen place anyway?" asked Link.
"We cant go there yet…"
"Pika?"
"First we have to go to Edoras where we meet up with the king. After that, there's a huge battle. THEN we go to Isengard." he finished.
"Talk about a detour…" he said dryly.
They ran for another scene or two until they were cut off by a large group of cavalry.
"Halt! What business does an elf a pokemon and a-" He paused and looked at Link. He shifted slightly then smirked. "Im sorry, what does _two_ elves and a pokemon have in the Riddermark?"
Link was about to kill him when he suddenly recognized his voice. "Marth?"
The man named 'Marth' took off his helm and looked down at him. "Fancy meeting you here, Link."
"Pika? You know him?"
"Unfortunately… What are you doing here?-!" demanded Link.
"What have I always done? Im stealing your girlfriend, of course."
"Hey! You leave her alone!"
Marth got off his horse to face him. "You gunna make me, elf boy?"
Before WWIII could begin, Legolas changed the subject. "Marth, have you seen a demon with long silver hair come by?"
He glanced at him. "Yeah… The bloody cur wiped out half my Rohirrim. Said he was heading to Isengard. We tried to stop him but he headed for Fangorn…"
"So he really is going to Isengard…" he paused and turned to Link. "We should head to Fangorn."
"Fangorn? I thought we were headed for Edoras?"
"Yes, but there's a chance we could catch up to Sesshomaru. I'd rather catch him _before_ he destroys Isengard, if we can."
"Alright! Let's go catch ourselves a Sesshy!" cheered Pikachu.
Marth sighed and got back on his horse. "Fine, if you wish to finish this, I'll be in Edoras. I'll give your regards to your- sorry- _my_ girlfriend." He then proceeded to gallop away.
"That bastard! Get back here!"
"Link, stop! I don't know what kind of history you two have but right now we have to stop Sesshomaru, ok?"
Link glared at him. "He knows where Zelda is! I have to follow him!"
"Pika? Who's Zelda?"
"It doesn't matter. Right now we have to go to Fangorn. Link, please…"
"Sorry Legolas, but Zelda's in danger." With that he turned and headed for Edoras.
"He sure is dedicated, isn't he?" asked Pikachu.
"Yes, but that could lead to problems…"
"Pika?"
"Im just worried that straying from the main story could lead to further complications…"
So Legolas and co. headed to Edoras, skipping yet another scene!
* * *
**And there you have it! The first chap! I only intro'd 2 new c's but the others are in the next chap! Also, this fic is more like the book but all that means is its got an extra chap at the end. Which is a good thing!**
**I don't know how long this one will be -cuz its in parts- but I'll try to make it longer than the first. But Im not making any promises!**
**Anyway…thanx for sticking w/ this!**
**Till next chap!**
2. Swamps, Kings, and Bishies, oh my!
**Ok, since I'm leaving this weekend I'll go ahead and post chap 2 now. This one might get a little confuzzleing cuz of the constant back and forth but I'll try to make it bearable. Also, there's going to be some 'language' from now on. Be amazed as I intro Théoden's replacement along w/ the Ring wraiths! Who are they? Also, we get to see Eowyn's as well! Anyway…**
**Read and Enjoy!**
* * *
Cloud and Riku were trying their best to ignore Neko -their nickname for the fan-girl- Not only had she led them into a swamp, she was singing at the top of her lungs…
"Deck the Halls with lots of Bishies! Falalalala lalala la! Tie them up and get all freaky-"
"Cloud, make it stop!"
"How?-!"
"They're so warm and cute and cuddly! Falala Falala lalala! Strip them down and start to-"
Just then a man in a black coat appeared. There was a pause…
"OMFG! It's Organization 13!" yelled Neko.
"No way! We killed you guys!"
"Guess you missed one," said Cloud.
The guy took a step back. "Oh man… Cloud AND Riku?-! I _told_ them they were sending the wrong guy…"
"Just who are you and what do you want?" asked Cloud.
"Huh? Oh!" He pulled back his hood, "My name is Demyx, Former Organization 13 member.
"Ugh! Its Fag boy… Cloud, Riku lets go!" They began leaving.
"Wait! Ooohhh, this isn't good!" He pulled out a flash card. "'If target fails to negotiate, use force.' Man…" He pulled out his Sitar.
"What are you going to do? Annoy us to death?" asked Cloud.
"You'll see… Dance water dance!"
"Aarrrg! Shut-Up!" yelled Neko. Full of rage she punched him, and he was out.
"Wow, Neko! Nice work!" congratulated Riku.
"I always wanted to do that!"
So they continued through the swamp, leaving Demyx behind.
**Link-Legolas-Pikachu**
As it turns out, skipping Fangorn was a good idea. As they entered the main hall the first thing they saw was:
"_Kratos?-!_"
Indeed. There he stood in his Judgement outfit.
"Link, I was beginning to wonder if you'd show up at all."
"What? But… the rabbit and and-"
"Do you honestly believe a rabbit could kill me?" he said flatly.
"Er well…"
"Kratos, have you freed Théoden from Saruman's control yet?" interrupted Legolas.
"Théoden? I do not know who that is…"
"Well he's-"
"Who the _hell_l are you?-!" demanded a newcomer. He had blonde hair, goggles on his forehead and a cigarette in his mouth.
"Hmph! Who are _you_?" asked Pikachu.
The man swiped his nose with his thumb. "You barge into _my_ castle and demand _my_ name?-! Guards! Seize these assholes and throw 'em out' a here!"
Legolas gasped. "Guards? Wait, are you Théoden? I mean, his replacement?"
"I aint no replacement! Im this here castle's king, Cid Highwind!"
"Cid?-!" There was a pause. "Nope, never heard of 'em…"
"Why you arrogant- Who the hell are you anyway?-!"
Legolas bowed. "Excuse me, your majesty. My name is Legolas. This is Pikachu, Kratos, and Link. We are on a quest to destroy the accursed Pen along with our companions Sesshomaru, Riku, and Cloud."
"Wait, what?-! You guys know Cloud? Hell, any friend of Cloud's is a friend of mine! Here, have some tea."
"No thanks…"
"Sit your goddamn ass down and drink your fucking tea!"
"Yes sir!" squealed Pikachu.
"That's the spirit! Yo, Zelda, get some tea!" he yelled.
Three minutes later Zelda walked in with a pot of tea. Link immediate got up and embraced her in a hug, nearly spilling the pot.
"Zelda! I've finally found you! Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine." she blushed. "You were worried about me?"
"I was worried about what Marth might be doing to you."
"Speaking of him," interrupted Cid," Where the hell is he?"
"Right here, my lord. Marth reporting in."
"What seems to be the problem?" asked Legolas.
He ignored him. "It seems you were right, Lord Cid. The penguins have begun attacking."
"Is that so? Then its only a matter of time before they reach Edoras." He paused. "We have only one option! We must go to war!"
"What about your people?" asked Kratos.
"They can fight too!" he said enthusiastically.
"Lord Cid, if I may… Wouldn't it be best to get them to safety? Helm's Deep perhaps?" ventured Legolas.
"Wha? Fine, whatever… As long as I get to kick some penguin ass! Yee-haw!" He ran off to prepare for war.
"I suppose I should go inform the people…" said Marth. He turned, winked at Zelda, and left.
"That bastard! When I get my hands on him I'll-"
"Legolas," interrupted Kratos, " What do we do now?"
"Well… Im not sure…" he said troubled. "We _are_ supposed to go to Helm's Deep however…" He paused. "It all depends on Saruman, or rather his replacement…"
"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now so lets just go!" declared Pikachu.
So to Helm's Deep they went…
**Cloud-Riku-Neko**
Eventually, they made it out of the swamp and into better scenery.
"Hey, Neko… Not to be nosy or anything, but aren't we supposed to go to the Black Gate?" asked Riku.
"No, precious. Black Gate is a waste of time. We're going through the back door!"
"Back door?" asked Cloud.
"Well, more or a 'back stair', precious."
"Quite calling us precious!" yelled Riku.
"But you are my precious bishies, precious!"
"Listen you-"
He was about to continue when Cloud interrupted him.
"Oh my god, what is that?-!"
"Hm?" He looked over the cliff and gasped. "It's a leopluredon!"
"A magical leopluredon!" exclaimed Neko.
"Yeah? Well what's it doing here?"
"Its probably on its way to Candy Mountain."
There was a pause.
"So, where are we headed again?" asked Cloud. "Neko?"
"Shh! I smell something!"
"It was Riku."
"Was not!"
"Quiet! I smell-"
"Yes?"
"I smell-"
"Yesss?"
"Bishie! And a _hot_ one too!" She took off after the bishie's scent.
"Riiight…"
There was an extended pause.
"Hey, Cloud… Shouldn't we go after her?"
"No" he said flatly.
"But she's our guide!"
"So? If I can make it through an entire 3 disc game without one, what makes you think I need one now?"
"Well…" he faltered.
A couple minutes passed then-
"Kyyaaaaaaaaa!"
-a high pitched scream came from the woods.
"Neko!" Without hesitating, Riku ran off after her. Cloud sighed and reluctantly followed.
What they found, neither were prepared for… Neko lay on the ground, hugging the life out of the bishie she was glomping. He had brown hair, a scar on his face, and a gun blade lay next to him.
"_Squall?-!_"
* * *
**And there you have it! Chap 2! Like always, my second chap is better than the first. Just to clarify: Organization 13 is the Nazgul and Zelda is Eowyn. But who is Squall? O.O You'll just have to wait and find out!**
**On a sadder note: My lotr: tt movie died yesterday… 'sniff' It didn't deserve to die like that!**
**Anyway…**
**Till next chap!**
3. New friend & The Battle at Helm's Deep
**Hello, once again! I see Im getting some readers, no reviews tho… But that's ok! **
**Oh man…This fic is almost done, AGAIN! Ai-ya! Guess I should start on the 3****rd****, huh? Oh well…**
**In this chap we learn Faramir's replacement -which you should have guess by now… And, for those of you who read the 1****st**** one, an element from chap 1 will Finally be intro'd. What am I talking about? You'll just have to read and find out!**
**-One more thing… Cloud knows Squall as Squall & Riku knows him as Leon, kay?-**
**Enjoy!**
* * *
Roy was talking to a penguin -how you do that I don't know- when another waddled in and explained the situation to him.
"I see, so the Fellowship has disbanded… Where are they now?"
"Squee!"
"Interesting… So the bishies have fled to Helm's Deep. Ha! This is the perfect chance to eliminate them! McSquee, gather the troops. I must speak to them."
So 15 minutes later, they were all assembled. Roy looked out at them and raised his hand for silence.
"A new power is rising… Its victory is at hand."
"Squeee!"
"This night, the land will be stained with the blood of Rohan! March to Helm's Deep... Leave none alive!"
"Squueeeeeee!"
"TO WAAARRR!"
"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Roy turned and left. Smiling to himself he said quietly, "There will be no dawn, for bishies…"
**Cloud-Neko-Riku**
Cloud and Riku has successfully saved Squall from Neko's glompings and were currently at his base…
"I see… So she is a Fan-girl. I've never seen one in person…" He put his hand to his temple and closed his eyes in thought.
"Leon? Hey, Leon!" yelled Riku.
"Its no use," said Cloud. "Once he goes into 'Squall Mode' its almost impossible to get him back.
"Oh…"
5 minutes later, he came out of his thoughts. "Cloud, Riku, thank you. But why are you traveling with a Fan-girl in the first place?" He looked at Neko who had hearts in her eyes.
"She is our guide. She's leading us to…uh… Where again?"
"Weren't we supposed to go to Murder or something?" guessed Riku.
"Mordor?-!" exclaimed Squall/Leon.
Riku was about to reply when he went into 'Squall Mode'. He sighed. "He sure does that a lot…"
"You have no idea…" said Neko dreamily.
"Riiight…"
So, 5 more minutes later he said, "You're going to destroy the Pen, aren't you?"
Riku gasped, "How did you know?"
"I don't just think of strategies and plot loops, you know…" He turned to Cloud. "You know the Ringwraiths are after you."
"Who?"
"Sorry, forgot. Organization 13."
"Yeah, we know… Neko already clobbered one!" Riku grinned.
He nodded. "That's good and all but there's still 12 of them…" He went into 'Squall Mode'. "Perhaps I should accompany you?"
"_REALLY?-!_" squealed Neko.
"Yes, but I do have my other duties. I can only go so far…"
"That's fine! No, that's GREAT!" She burst into song, "Bishie bishie everywhere, Bishie bishie climb the Stair!"
"Excuse me?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing!" She squealed, "Kyaaa! More bishies!"
So the next morning they headed for the Stair…
**Link-Legolas-Pikachu**
Eventually, they made it to Helm's Deep and prepared for the fight of their lives…
"Alright, get all the useless people into the caves." demanded Cid.
"Sir, its not nice to call them useless-"
"Shut-Up! Im the king and what I say goes! Now I want every man, boy, lad, and geezer who can put up a fight to be armed by the time I get back!"
"Wait! I want to fight too!" said Zelda.
"No!" shouted Marth and Link.
"Er, what I mean is… If something should happen to us, you're the only one who can defend the useless- I mean, defenseless people." amended Link.
She pouted and walked off.
"Real smooth , Link." commented Marth.
"Shut-up!"
"Alright, lets get suited up and do this thing!" declared Pikachu.
They just sighed and got ready. By the time they were done, it was night. They took their positions on the ramparts, waiting. And of course it was raining…ick.
"So, Legolas, what was this war like?" asked Link.
"It was very brutal. Many people died…"
"Oh, not anyone you know, I hope?"
"…"
"Legolas?" he asked worried.
Before he could answer, a war horn sounded in the distance.
"That is no penguin horn… Its-" He gasped.
An army of dwarves -yes dwarves- and penguins now faced them. Their number to many to count.
Both armies now faced each other. And how it usually goes, eventually led to a stand off. Several minutes passed. Finally, Cid couldn't take it anymore…
"Enough with this goddamn stand off shit! Give me that lance!" Taking aim, he threw it at a penguin and it connected! "Boo-ya! Head shot!"
The penguin fell to the ground dead, -duh- Upon seeing the death of a comrade, the penguins and dwarves charged.
"Hmph, here we go… Archers forward!" declared Marth.
Link and Legolas drew their bows also.
"Pika! I wanna help too!"
"No, your electricity would shock us as well as the enemy," informed Kratos.
As soon as the enemy got in range, they fired. Penguin after penguin fell as the arrows connected. Not so much for the dwarves, since they were smart enough the wear armor.
Seems they were smart enough to return fire, too. Dwarven archers -O.o- fired their arrows right back. Some of their allies fell but none important enough to mention…
Link spotted something amongst the enemy. "Ladders?" He turned to Legolas. "Can penguins climb ladders?"
"I don't know…"
Well he was about to find out. Ladder after ladder scaled the walls of Helm's Deep. Each accompanied by several penguins and dwarves. As soon as they cleared the railing, the real battle began…
"Ha! Legolas, 25! How 'bout you?" asked Link as he slayed a dwarf.
"You'll have to do better than that!" He loosed and arrow. "Im on 33!"
Pikachu head butted another dwarf in the unmentionables. "Will you guys slow down?-! Im only on 15!"
"Ha! But we've gotta-" He paused to slay a penguin. "long way to go to beat Kratos…"
Indeed, Kratos was on the ramparts blasting every enemy in sight with magic.
"Yes, but isn't magic cheating?" complained Pikachu.
"Actually, he's not even supposed to be here…" said Legolas.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, he-" He was interrupted as a flying axe nearly decapitated him. "Perhaps we should focus on the battle at hand?"
They nodded and continued their fight. Up in the Keep, Cid stopped to inspect the battle.
"This it? Puh! That damn Shinra bastard was harder than this…"
Link had just finished off a rather nasty dwarf when something caught his eye… Something familiar.
"Holy- Legolas! Take him down!" He brought out his bow and tried to take it down himself. "Bring him down!"
"What is it?-!" yelled Legolas, as he too started shooting.
"It's a Super Bomb!" he answered, the penguin getting closer and closer to the wall.
"How do penguins get something like that?-!" He fired again but it still came.
"I don't- Aaahhh!"
With a mighty BANG, the wall exploded and they were sent flying, landing on opposite sides of the blast zone.
In no time, the dwarves and penguins had entered the fortress of Helm's Deep…
* * *
**Yay! Cliffhangers!**
**Anyway… The battle at Helm's Deep has begun! How will it unfold? Wait till chap 4 to find out!
Also, anyone else notice that Cid and Link kinda act the same? Weird...**
**Anyway...**
**Till next chap!**
4. Helm's Deep p2 & Sesshomaru returns!
**Yo, sorry for the long update. Stuff happened… Anyways, lets find out how the battle for Helm's Deep ended, shall we? And what ever happened to Sesshomaru? Read and Find out!**
**Enjoy!**
* * *
On the other side of the fortress, the penguins had broken down the door heading in.
"Holy shit!" declared who else but Cid. He began running toward the door, lance in hand.
"My lord, no!"
"Shaddup! I can handle these assholes! Fucking Big Brawl!"
Cid charged the enemy head on. He was so fast, they didn't even know what happened. Five seconds later it didn't matter…they were dead.
"Now seal that damn door!" he ordered.
"Yes, sir!"
Elsewhere, the dwarves had created 'super ladders' and were about to board the ramparts. Upon seeing this, Kratos scoffed.
"I'll show you your powerlessness, Indignation Judgement!" In one bright flash, the ladders and everything near it disintegrated.
As good as this all sounds, they were actually doing bad. None of them had been in a war before. -Except Kratos but that was 4000 years ago.- Wave after wave of penguins and dwarves overwhelmed their forces at every turn and soon it was too much.
"My lord, we must retreat!" begged Marth.
"Fuck no! Let me go dammit!"
"No, come on! Retreat!" he yelled.
The army, or what was left of it, heard him and retreated. Or tried…some got shot in the back on the way… Once inside the main chamber, they braced the door and waited.
"My lord, what are we going to do?"
"What else? Go back out there and fight!" declared Link.
Cid grinned. "I like the way you think!"
Marth stared at them in disbelief, "This is madness!"
"Madness? THIS IS SPARTA! I mean… War! C'mon, lets go get those fucking bastards who dare take over my damn fortress!" He faced the door. "Fell deeds awake! Now for wrath, now for ruin! And the Red Dawn!" He scratched his head, "Or something like that…" He raised his lance and charged, "FORTH EORLINGAS!"
As dawn broke out over the fortress, the Fellowship, led by Cid, charged the enemy army. They were sickly outnumbered but it didn't matter… dawn equals no rain!
With a mighty 'Pika!' Pikachu unleashed his mightiest thunder ever! Add to the fact that Kratos used Judgement accompanied by Link's Bombos Medallion, and you get bad news for the one on the receiving end.
There was a horrific explosion and the enemy and even part of the fortress was destroyed.
A silence fell on Helm's Deep as they took in what just happened…
"We-We did it!" exclaimed Link.
"Pi-Pikachu!" cheered Pikachu.
"So it would seem," added Kratos.
"Heh, yes we did…"
"Huh? Something wrong, Legolas?"
"No, its just… This fight was too easy. In the movie, it was a 30 minute thing and we had allies… Im worried about what's going on in Isengard…"
So they go to Isengard.
**Earlier**
After leaving the Fellowship, killing some mortals who got in his way, and being stalled by talking trees, Sesshomaru had finally made it to Orthanc.
"So, this is Isengard…"
He began walking toward the double doors when penguins came to stop him. He dispatched them without breaking stride. Soon he was at the bottom of the stairs.
A voice shouted down at him from above.
"Who are you who dare trespass on these grounds?"
He looked up to see a red headed teen glaring at him. "Are you the master of this tower, Roy?"
"Yeah, what's it to you?"
"Hmph, then I, Sesshomaru, shall dispose of you. Dragon Strike!"
"Aahhh!" He ran back into the tower, which still stood after being hit by the Dragon Strike.
"What is this? Another butterfly incident?" He paused. "Very well…"
He sheathed his sword and began transforming into the great dog demon he was. With a mighty leap, he jumped into the air, slamming into the tower. Roy never knew what hit him. With a roaring crash, the tower collapsed.
Task done, Sesshomaru transformed back. He paused to survey the scene. The collapsing of the tower had destroyed the underground facilities and thus no more penguins could be created…in this fic anyway…
* * *
**Srry for the short chap, but this is where I decided to end it. This is actually where the movie ends but since its more like the book, you get a special ending chap! How lucky!**
**Also, xXSummerXx, once again thanx for review! Free cookies abound! And no, no Phantom yet. Deepest apologies. I am looking, promise! BTW- I like 'Phangirl' its cute.**
**Anyways… the next chap is the last one…I really Should start on the next one…heh. Anywho, no more updates for awhile tho, E3 is this week. But no worries! I wont forget about you guys!**
**Till next chap!**
5. Special Ending: 1UPS and Fangirls
**Alright, I didn't want to put this up yet but if I didn't do it now, I'd never get around to it so here it is. The special ending chap of lotr: The Two Bishies!**
**Oh! Another thing: Prepare to be confused as I intro someone you should already know!**
**Enjoy!**
* * *
**Legolas-Pikachu-Link**
What they found when they arrived at Isengard was of course destruction. And at the center of it all, Sesshomaru.
"You! Did you do this?-!" asked Marth.
He ignored him and turned to the Fellowship. "I did not expect to meet you again…"
"What do you mean? We're the Fellowship of the Pen! We're supposed to stick together!" stated Link.
"I do not cohort with lowly humans."
"Excuse me?-!" yelled Cid. "Who the fuck do you think you are?-! Why I out'a-"
"Lord Cid, not now." interrupted Legolas. "Sesshomaru, where is the Master of the Tower?"
"If you wish to find him, you're better off searching that tower."
"You mean what's left of it…" muttered Pikachu.
Kratos was about to speak when someone _else_ joined the party.
"Momma-mia! There you are!"
That's right. It was Mario.
"Mario how-"
"I killed you!" yelled Link. "How are you still alive?-!"
"Its-a called a 1UP! Im here for my revenge, Elf-a Boy!"
"You wanna fight? You got it!"
They started charging each other when Mario tripped.
"Ow, what's-a this?" He picked it up.
"No Mario, don't!" shouted Legolas.
Too late. He instantly started spazzing and collapsed. Springing into action, Legolas took it away from him, and concealed it.
"Mario, Mario are you alright?" cried Pikachu.
"What the fuck _was_ that thing?"
"A palantir," he said.
"Mario! Snap out of it!"
"Move." ordered Legolas. "Mario, can you here me? What did you see?"
"I saw a tree… It was burning… There were…marshmallows around it… She asked me if I brought the graham crackers. I didn't answer…"
He sighed, relieved.
"Relieved? How can he be relieved?-! Mario just had a premonition of destruction!"
"I was worried that it would be something else due to our previous actions but it seems everything's alright." He turned to Kratos. "Kratos, I need you to take Mario to Gondor."
"And why is that?" he asked.
"Because, the Fan-Girl Queen will be looking for her graham crackers. Meaning, she'll come here. We cant have that."
He nodded understandingly.
"Also, find Faramir, or rather, his replacement and ask him if he's seen Cloud. If so, then we may still have a chance."
"Alright." He paused. "Where is Gondor?"
"Its south east from here. Do you need a horse?"
Kratos looked at Mario. "I don't but he may-"
Mario interrupted. "Not to worry! Lets-a go!" With that he jumped into a random pipe and disappeared.
Kratos sighed, shook his head, unfurled his wings, and flew off.
"Oh! I forgot to mention! Watch out for Faramir's father, Denethor!" yelled Legolas.
There was a pause as they watched him go…
"That's nice and all, what with Fairy Boy flying and random plumbing but what the hell are we supposed to do now?" asked Cid.
"We are going to build an army for the war."
"What? But we just _had_ the war!" complained Marth.
"Not this war but for the war to end all wars. The final war…"
**Cloud-Riku-Neko**
On their way through Osgiliath they ran into Zexion but Riku quickly pwnd him cuz he's a pansy. Later that day they arrived at the Stair.
"Im sorry but this is as far as I go." said Squall.
"Very well, thanks for your help." said Cloud. In 'help' he meant keeping Neko from doing anything 'wrong'.
"Although we could have done without running into Zexion…" stated Riku.
"Think of it this way… Now there's only 11." He looked at each of them and turned to leave when Neko glomped him.
"Wait, precious! Come with us!"
"Im sorry but I must return to Gondor or something bad will happen."
"But-"
"We may never meet again but we'll never forget each other." He smiled.
She swooned and nearly fainted. "My precious bishie…"
"Farwell" Just like that he left.
"Welp, better start climbing…" He looked up at the Stair which was barely visible. "Oh man…"
He got about five feet up when Cloud shouted, "What are you doing?-!"
"What does it look like, stupid?-! Im climbing!"
"But…there's an elevator."
"Wha?" He looked down at Cloud who was pointing at an elevator. "Who the _hell_ puts an elevator on the side of a mountain?"
K-Tee hee!
So they took the elevator and in no time flat, were at the entrance to the cave.
"So, you're _sure_ this leads to Mordor?" asked Cloud.
"Of course, precious!"
He sighed, "Whatever you say…"
Five minutes later, they were running for their lives, a horde of penguins in hot pursuit.
"I knew this was a bad idea! This is all _your_ fault!" yelled Riku.
"_My_ fault?-! Im the one who said we shouldn't take her with us!"
"Well you should have been more demanding!"
"What do _you_ know of being demanding?-!"
There was no answer.
"Riku? Riku?-! Great, now we're separated…damn." He kept running till he made it to a clearing. He paused to catch his breathe and heard something behind him. He was about to turn around when suddenly he got jumped from behind. The last thing he remembered was an overpowering scent of roses…
Meanwhile
-haven't seen one of those in awhile-
Riku had just killed a couple penguins when he entered the clearing. He watched as a mob of fan girls, all with hearts in their eyes, charged Cloud. It was so sudden he didn't even know what to do.
"Cloud!"
"Squeeee!"
"Kyyaaaaaaaaa!"
"Let me touch him!"
"No, me!"
"Wasn't he with Riku?"
"Lets have them 'play' with each other!"
"Tee hee!"
Upon hearing what they had in store for him, Riku made sure to stay hidden when he noticed Cloud was not moving. Obviously one of the fan girls noticed too.
"Kyaaa! Oh no! Our bishie's been hurt!"
"Quick, lets take him home with us!"
"YAY!"
Excitedly they hurried off to their tower, Cloud in tow.
Riku was shocked. "Cloud's been captured!" He paused. "Who cares? Not like he was ever useful… I can destroy the Pen myself…"
He began walking away then stopped.
"Wait a minute… Cloud is supposed to be Frodo, right? So Cloud has the… OMG! Cloud's been captured!"
Don Don Don
To be Continued
…
* * *
**Yay! The Two Bishies is done! And its one chap longer than the first, mission complete!**
**And yes…I did kill Mario in FotP but I needed him back. Word of advice: Don't kill off your party members until you're sure you don't need them…'sweat drop'**
**I wont see ya next chap so…**
**UPDATE: THE SEQUEL IS NOW UP! LOTR: THE RETURN OF THE FANGIRL**
**See ya!**
"**So? If I can make it thru an entire 3 disc game without one, what makes you think I need one now?"**
**-Cloud**
End file.
| fanfiction |
yolk proteins ( yps ) are the nutritional basis for the developing embryo in all oviparous animals . in insects ,
yp are synthesized in the female fat body , secreted into the hemolymph , and then taken up by the oocytes during maturation . in some insect species , such as drosophila melanogaster and musca domestica ,
yps are also produced by the follicle cells surrounding the growing oocyte [ 13 ] .
three yp genes have been identified in musca : mdyp1 , mdyp2 , and mdyp3 .
however , mdyp1 and mdyp3 share the highest degree of amino acid similarity ( 82.5% ) , whereas mdyp2 reveals only 58.9% similarity to mdyp1 and 63.5% to mdyp3 . transcripts of all three mdyp genes are expressed in the fat body and in the follicle cells surrounding the developing egg chamber in musca females . in musca ,
ovarian development is synchronized , and after about five days of maturation , oocytes are laid in a batch .
adams described ten oocyte stages : stages 13 are the previtellogenic stages when the developing cysts have not yet taken up yp .
stages 48 are the vitellogenic stages , characterized by the uptake of yp - synthesized by the follicle cells and from the hemolymph .
stages 9 - 10 , finally , are the postvitellogenic stages , when yp uptake has stopped , the nurse cells are degenerating , and the egg is ready to be laid . in many insect species , yp synthesis
is controlled by a sex - specific hormonal regimen , in particular , by juvenile hormone ( jh ) and ecdysteroid hormone .
a burst of ecdysteroids after a blood meal , for instance , triggers yp production in females of ades aegypti .
for instance , a decline of jh levels by removing its site of production in the corpora - allata corpora - cardiaca complex results in a loss of yp expression in females ; when these females are again supplied with jh or methoprene , a jh analogue , yp production is resumed [ 8 , 9 ] .
while application of methoprene can not stimulate yp synthesis in males [ 8 , 10 , 11 ] , injection of 20-hydroxy - ecdysone ( 20e ) , the active isoform of ecdysone , induces yp synthesis in both males and females , even when jh production is eliminated by removing the corpora - allata complex .
thus , it appears that jh is rather a permissible factor in the regulation of yp synthesis , but not a controlling agent . in ades
aegypti , fat body cells require being exposed to high jh levels before ecdysteroids can trigger vitellogenin synthesis . in musca ,
jh may serve a similar function to make fat body cells competent to respond to high ecdysteroid levels with the production of yp .
the main controlling agent of yp production in musca appears to be ecdysone . in adult females ,
the ecdysterone level in the hemolymph is oscillating and followed by cyclic expression of yp , both reaching a maximum when synchronously developing oocytes arrive at stages 6 - 7 ( figure 1 ; adams and filipi , adams et al .
likewise , transcription of the mdyp genes follows the same cyclic pattern : mrnas of mdyp1 and mdyp3 are maximally abundant in the fat body and in the ovary at oocyte stages 48 , and mdyp2 transcripts show a maximum at stages 59 .
peak ecdysteroid levels in females are variable ranging between 18 pg/l and 50 pg/l , depending on musca strains used . in males ,
yet , ecdysteroids are not the only factor involved in yp regulation . in ovaryectomized females , ecdysteroids in the hemolymph drop to a very low , male - like level ( < 4 pg/l ) , but these females nevertheless continue to produce yp , if only at a low rate . furthermore , both allatectomized females and males start to produce yp after injection of 20e , but males are about 100 times less sensitive , and the response is significantly delayed .
thus , it seems that in females additional factors are present which render the mdyp genes more susceptive to activation by ecdysteroids . in this report
, we demonstrate that md - dsx is a likely candidate . in drosophila ,
dsx is known to directly control the transcription of the three yp genes in fat body cells . the male variant , dsx , represses yp transcription , whereas the female variant , dsx , acts as an enhancer of yp transcription ( reviewed in bownes ) .
the musca homologue , md - dsx , produces sex - specific splice variants , md - dsx and md - dsx which structurally and functionally correspond to dsx and dsx in drosophila . as in drosophila ,
the md - dsx gene is proposed to be the terminal regulator in the sex - determining cascade , relaying the primary sex - determining signal to the sex - differentiating genes .
the primary signal in musca sex determination is the male - determining factor m ( for a review , see dbendorfer et al . ) .
when m is present in the zygote , it represses the female - determining key gene f and , as a result , md - dsx is spliced by default in the male mode producing transcripts , which encode md - dsx .
when m is absent in the zygote , the zygotic f gene is activated by maternally supplied f activity and , together with its cofactor md - tra2 , promotes the female splice mode of its downstream target md - dsx to give rise to the female splice variant which encodes md - dsx ( figure 2 ; hediger et al . ) . in natural populations ,
m factors are located at different sites in the genome , most commonly on the y chromosome but also on any of the five autosomes or even on the x chromosome .
these m factors seem to differ in their capacity to repress the female pathway . for instance , m
( m on chromosome i ) allows production of yp , a typically female - specific physiological trait , in otherwise normal and fertile males [ 21 , 22 ] .
such males arise due to homozygosity of a recessive mutant allele of the female determiner f , f ( figure 2 ) . based on this finding , schmidt et al . suggested that these males express some residual f activity and concluded that f is not a null allele , but rather a strong hypomorph . in this study
, we demonstrate that m and f males which express yp even when ecdysteroid hormones levels are low produce substantial levels of md - dsx suggesting that md - dsx contributes to the sex - specific regulation of yp genes in musca .
as control strains we used a wild - type , a white ( w / w ) , and a multiply marked strain ( ac / ac ; ar / ar ; bwb / bwb ; ocra / ocra ) . these strains have standard - type sex determination : xy males and xx females .
autosomal markers used in this study are as follows : chromosome i : ac ali curve , curved wings , chromosome ii : ar aristapedia , chromosome iii : bwb brown body , w
white eyes , chromosome iv : ba bald abdomen , chromosome v : ocra ochre eyes ,
m strain : male genotype xx ; m + /+ ac ; ar / ar ; bwb / bwb ; ocra / ocra .
female genotype xx , ac / ac ; ar / ar ; bwb / bwb ; ocra / ocra ,
f strain : male genotype : xx ; ac / ac ; f / f .
hemolymph samples of individual flies were collected by inserting a glass capillary into the ventral thorax .
the samples were transferred into 13 l of 2x sds sample buffered on ice , boiled for 5 minutes , and stored at 78c .
oocyte stages in females were determined after taking the hemolymph samples , using the definitions of adams [ 5 , see introduction ] .
preparations of ovaries and fat body extracts : flies were dissected in musca ringer 's solution ( 7.5 g / l nacl , 1 g / l kcl , 0.18 g / l cacl22h2o , 0.12 g / l nahco3 , ph 7 ) ; ovaries or fat body were homogenized in 20 l 2x sds , and insoluble material was removed by centrifugation . the supernatant was boiled for 5 minutes , and the samples were stored at 78c .
sds - page was carried out using the biorad miniprotean ii system ; entire samples ( hemolymph ) or 5 l ( ovary and fat body samples ) were loaded on a 12% sds gel and separated by electrophoresis .
proteins were transferred to a 0.45 m nitrocellulose membrane ( biorad ) in tris - glycin - methanol .
the membranes were incubated in blocking solution ( 4% low fat milk powder in tbs/0.05% tween ) . the primary antibody ( polyclonal anti - yolkprotein antibody , kindly provided by dr .
t. adams ) was diluted 1 : 20 000 in tbs/0.05% tween with 1 mg / ml bsa ; membranes were incubated in the antibody solution for 1 hour at room temperature .
the antigen - antibody complex was detected using the alkaline phosphatase- ( ap- ) conjugated antirabbit antibody by promega at a dilution of 1 : 7500 in tbst/1 mg / ml bsa .
high avidity ( 20 000 fold ) rabbit antiserum , raised against 20-hydroxyecdysone-6-ketoxime thyroglobulin conjugate , was used .
ria measurements were performed using a protocol described earlier , but with overnight incubations at 4c .
results are expressed in 20-hydroxyecdysone equivalents , and normalised to hemolymph volume ( l ) .
total rna of 250 mg flies ( ~18 adult males or ~15 adult females ) were extracted with the agpc technique .
an amount of 1 g of mrna per lane was fractioned by formaldehyde agarose gel electrophoresis , transferred to hybond - n+ nylon membrane ( amersham ) by blotting with 10x sspe and cross - linked in a uv stratalinker 2400 ( stratagene ) .
hybridizations were carried out in formamide hybridization solution at 42c using 610 cpm of labelled probe .
labelled antisense rna probes were generated by in vitro transcription of pcr fragments of the mdyp genes using t7 rna polymerase ( promega ) and -p - rctp ( amersham ) .
in fact , 20-hydroxy - ecdysone ( sigma ) was diluted in musca ringer 's solution to concentrations of 10 ng/l and 1 g/l .
also , 1 l of these solutions was injected with a glass needle into the abdomen of 3d old males of the m strain and of a standard strain as a control .
hemolymph of the injected flies was taken 24 hours after injection and analyzed by western blotting as described earlier .
0.5 g mrna was retro - transcribed using enhanced amv reverse transcriptase ( sigma ) , following the manufacturers protocols .
male and female transcripts of md - dsx were amplified from cdna by standard pcr techniques using taq dna polymerase ( promega ) .
primers used for md - dsx amplification : primer c in the common exon 3 , primer f in the female exon 4 .
primers used for md - dsx amplification : primer c ( common exon 3 ) and primer m in the male exon 5 ( figure 5 ) .
samples of 5 l were taken after 24 , 27 , 30 , and 39 pcr cycles and analyzed on a 1% agarose gel .
the rnai experiments of md - tra2 in musca strain m were performed by injections of dsrna in early embryos as described in burghardt et al . .
we compared yp synthesis in males of the m and f strains with control males and females of a standard wildtype strain .
control males , regardless of their age , never show any traces of yp in their hemolymph or in fat body extracts when probed with a polyclonal anti - yp serum ( figure 3(a ) ) . in extracts of control females , on the other hand ,
three cross - reacting bands are detected , one at 50 kd and a doublet at 45 kd .
this pattern of yp - specific cross - reactivity is in accordance with data reported by agui et al . and adams and filipi .
the amount of detectable yp in the hemolymph depends on the stage of ovarian development .
low levels of the doublet are detected in females containing pre- or post - vitellogenic oocytes ( stages 13 or 9 - 10 ) , and their levels increase several folds during the vitellogenic stages reaching a maximum around stages 6 and 7 ( figure 3(a ) ) .
the 50 kd variant was only seen in females of this stage and its concentration was generally lower than that of the doublet proteins ( figure 3(a ) ) .
agui et al . and white and bownes observed that the amount of mdyp transcripts in females also oscillates in synchrony with ovarian development .
white and bownes reported that mdyp2-mrna was only detected in vitellogenic females suggesting that the 50 kd protein is a product of the mdyp2 gene . in the m strain , about 80% of the males contain detectable levels of yp in the hemolymph .
the frequency of homozygous f males producing yp varied between 4% and 40% in successive generations .
we observed highly variable levels of yp expression in individual m males even among siblings of the same age .
the amount of yp in their hemolymph ranges from undetectable to levels comparable to that in vitellogenic females ( figure 3(b ) ) .
variations in the level of circulating yp between individuals may in part be explained by gradual accumulation in the hemolymph , since males do not have an ovarian
a striking difference in the expression profile between males and females of the m strain is the complete absence of the 50 kd variant in male hemolymph even when the concentration of the doublet reaches a level as high as in vitellogenic females .
similarly , the level of circulating yp in the hemolymph of f males varied considerably from individual to individual and a 50 kd band was never detected even in extracts of the strongest yp - expressing individuals .
these findings suggested that the 50 kd band is absent in these males because the mdyp2 gene is transcriptionally inactive .
consistent with this conclusion we observed that , in m males , mdyp2 transcripts are absent , in contrast to substantial amounts of mdyp1 and mdyp3 transcripts present in these flies ( figure 3(c ) ) .
the presence of mdyp2 transcripts in female fat bodies excludes the possibility that mdyp2 is expressed only in ovarian tissues ( figure 3(a ) ) .
absence of mdyp2 transcripts in m and f males can thus not be simply explained by the fact that these males have no ovaries .
presence of the 50 kd variant , the putative product of mdyp2 , is limited to vitellogenic stages suggesting that mdyp2 expression can only be induced when the concentration of circulating ecdysteroid surpasses a high - level threshold .
we tested whether injection of 20-hydroxy - ecdysone can trigger expression of the full repertoire of yp products in males if applied in high concentrations .
our results show that 10 ng of 20e was sufficient to induce expression of the 45 kd doublet in control males and in m males , whereas a 100 fold higher dose , 1 g , was necessary to trigger the expression of the 50 kd band ( figure 3(d ) ) .
these results demonstrate that male tissues have the competence to produce mdyp2 and that transcriptional activation of mdyp2 requires higher concentrations of ecdysteroid hormones than activation of mdyp1 and mdyp3
. since yp synthesis in males can be triggered by injections of 20e , we examined whether expression of yp in m and f males results from elevated levels of ecdysteroid hormones .
a radio - immuno assay ( ria ) with an antiserum against 20e was conducted to measure the level of circulating hormones .
our results show that the ecdysteroid level in m and f males is low and comparable to that of control males ( table 1 ) .
the ecdysteroid levels measured in samples of control females and females of the m and f strains were 3 - 4 fold higher .
since ecdysteroid levels are not increased in m and f males , we concluded that other factors must be responsible for the induction of yp expression .
the musca dsx gene is a potential candidate in the light that yp genes in drosophila are direct transcriptional targets of dsx . in musca , md - dsx pre - mrna is spliced differentially producing two sex - specific transcripts , md - dsx in males , and md - dsx in females ( figure 4(a ) ; hediger et al . ) .
we tested the possibility that md - dsx is misregulated in f and m males .
we performed a semiquantitative rt - pcr to measure the levels of md - dsx and md - dsx transcripts in males and females of the m and f strain and of the standard xx / xy strain .
as an internal standard , we monitored transcript levels of the homologue of sex - lethal ( md - sxl ) , a gene that is expressed in males and females at equal levels .
using sex - specific primer pairs ( figure 4(a ) ) , our first experiment confirmed that standard xy males express abundant levels of md - dsx transcripts , but no md - dsx .
on the other hand , md - dsx transcripts were readily detectable in control females ( figure 4(b ) ) .
though transcripts of md - dsx were also recovered in females , their level was substantially lower than in males . in males of the m strain
, we detected , in addition to md - dsx products , a significant amount of md - dsx transcripts ( figure 4(b ) ) .
likewise , the f males tested expressed clearly detectable amounts of md - dsx transcripts , though at a much lower level than in m males .
thus , the presence of md - dsx in males correlates with yp expression . to test whether these genes are functionally interrelated
we specifically silenced md - tra2 , a cofactor required for female - specific splicing of md - dsx , by rnai .
injection of md - tra2 dsrna into early cleavage embryos has previously been shown to irreversibly shift md - dsx splicing from the female to the male mode .
we observed an almost 30x reduction in numbers of m males expressing yp when female splicing of md - dsx was abolished by md - tra2 rnai ( table 2 ) . from this finding , it can be inferred that female expression of md - dsx is required to activate mdyp1 and mdyp3 in a milieu low of ecdysteroid hormones . in line with this conclusion
is the finding that transgenic expression of md - dsx is capable of inducing yp synthesis in standard males with a low ecdysteroid level ( table 2 ; hediger et al . ) .
we thus conclude that md - dsx is also involved in the control of this physiological response .
yp production is coordinated with the onset of vitellogenesis and occurs in a cyclic fashion . in parallel to the yp concentration , ecdysteroid levels are oscillating in females , whereas , in males , they remain constantly low .
these results suggested that musca relies on ecdysteroids for controlling yp synthesis in the fat body .
however , studies based on exogenous application of ecdysteroids showed that male and female yp - producing cells respond differently . in females , the activation threshold for yp synthesis appears to be significantly lower than in males . since the fat body , the main site of yp synthesis , is present in both males and females , this difference can not be attributed to tissue - specific regulation but is more likely to be an intrinsic feature imposed by the sex - determining cascade . a potential candidate that modulates the responsiveness to hormones in a sex - specific manner is the musca dsx homologue , md - dsx . in line with such a role , we find that the threshold of activating yp synthesis in males is substantially lowered when they express the female variant of md - dsx .
since these males contain a normal low level of ecdysteroids in their hemolymph , we propose that binding of md - dsx to the promoter of yp genes enhances the binding of other stimulatory factors that are activated by ecdysteroids .
the possibility that expression of mdyp1 and mdyp3 in these md - dsx expressing males is a consequence of a gain - of - function mutation in the yp genes themselves can be excluded for the following reasons : first , the f and m strains have different origins .
second , when m , a strong m factor on chromosome 3 , is introduced in m males , yp synthesis is completely abolished . in drosophila ,
sex - specific variants of dsx bind to the 125 bp fat body enhancer ( fbe ) in the intergenic region of yp1 and yp2 genes to either enhance the basal transcription rate in females ( dsx ) or to completely repress it in males ( dsx ) [ 2730 ] .
likewise , it has been shown in the lepidopteran species bombyx mori that expression of the female - specific products of the dsx homologue is sufficient to induce vitellogenin synthesis in males .
sequences that match the consensus dsx binding sites were found in the promoter region of the musca yolk protein gene 1 ( mdyp1 ; tortiglione and bownes ) .
in addition , these authors showed that drosophila dsx can bind to these putative binding sites in mdyp1 promoter in vitro .
although these upstream sequences of mdyp1 , when introduced into the genome of drosophila , were able to drive expression of a lacz reporter in a tissue - specific pattern identical to that of the endogenous yp genes , sex - specificity was not conferred .
based on this finding , the authors suggested that mdyp genes are not responsive to the action of sex - specific dsx variants and that such transcription factors thus may play no or only a minor role in controlling yp synthesis in the housefly .
however , it can be argued that the promoter sequences tested did not contain all enhancer elements critical for conferring sex - specificity .
also , divergent evolution of dsx and the yp genes , since the separation of musca and drosophila is estimated 120 mya , may have prevented a functional interaction between the musca yp promoter and the drosophila transcriptional factors conferring sex - specificity .
this apparent lack of sex - specific regulation closely resembles that of yp3 in drosophila .
it has been suggested that yp3 regulation has diverged from that of yp1 and yp2 and may require additional hormonal inputs to achieve sex - specificity similar as in musca and calliphora . based on our results ,
we propose the following model for regulation of yp expression in musca domestica ( figure 5 ) .
it is the combination of several different inputs that regulates the level of yp transcription in the fat body .
a major contribution comes from the endocrine system to attune the production of yp not only with the synchronized maturation of oocytes but also with the availability of food resources .
the ecdysteroid hormone seems to be the major component in reconciling the cyclic progress of vitellogenesis and availability of yp and therefore can be referred to as a synchronization factor .
also , hormones play a critical role in assessing the availability of nutrients and other environmental conditions relevant to egg production . in addition , yp synthesis depends on signals that confer sex- and tissue - specificity .
these signals act cell - autonomously in the fat body cells and can be referred to as competence factors ( figure 5 ) . in musca
, they play a minor but relevant role in modulating the responsiveness of yp genes to the nonautonomous signals .
presence of the female - specific variant of md - dsx acts as a stimulatory factor , which upon binding to the yp promoters , in particular , that which drives expression of mdyp1 and mdyp3 , enhances transcription in the presence of ecdysteroids .
the male - specific variant , on the other hand , may have the converse effect by inhibiting rather than stimulating hormone - induced transcription .
apart from sex - specificity , a different set of transcription factors is needed to confer tissue - specificity .
some of these factors have been identified in drosophila to be activators , such as the ccaat / enhancer - binding protein ( c / ebp ) or inhibitors such as the adult enhancer factor-1 ( aef-1 ) .
it is conceivable that the same set of factors is also operational in musca to confer tissue - specificity based on the studies demonstrating that the expression of a reporter gene driven by the musca yp1 promoter is specifically confined to fat body cells in drosophila .
altogether , it appears that the relative contribution of nonautonomous and autonomous signals depends on the mode of egg production . in drosophila where egg production does not occur in a cyclic fashion but
is rather continuous , synchronization factors play a marginal role in regulating yp synthesis ( figure 5 ) . in this system , hormonal control
is mainly used to attune yp synthesis to environmental conditions such as food availability , while a much larger contribution comes from autonomously acting transcription factors to maintain a continuous supply of yp .
we propose that the yp genes were initially controlled by ecdysteroids produced by the ovaries to coordinate the maturation of the oocytes with yp production .
later , dsx was recruited as an additional factor to control the responsiveness to ecdysteroids in male and female fat bodies . in species like drosophila with continuous yp production ,
in musca , where yp production is cyclic , ecdysteroids kept their role as the main regulator . | pubmed |
The Exposition universelle, internationale et coloniale was a world's fair including a colonial exhibition in the French City of Lyon in 1894. The site was the parc de la Tête d'or in the north of the city. The exposition drew unwanted attention with the assassination of French President Sadi Carnot during his visit on 24 July 1894; he died the day after.
The exposition was initiated as a national exposition to be held in 1892, but the short interval since the Paris 1889 Universal Exposition led to a postponement of two years and the wish for international participation.
Several names were given to the project: lExposition internationale et coloniale de Lyon, en 1894, Exposition nationale de Lyon en 1894 and lExposition universelle de 1894 before the eventual name Exposition internationale et coloniale. At the same time San Francisco and the Belgian city of Antwerp organised world's fairs as well.
The main building of the exposition was a 55-metre high metal dome with a diameter of 242 metres. Several themes got dedicated pavilions:
Education palais de lenseignement
City of Paris
City of Lyon and the surroundings département du Rhône
Faith palais des arts religieux
Economy palais de l'économie sociale
Art
Agriculture
Labour
Railways
Civil engineering
Forestry services
French colonies were represented as well in four pavilions:
Algeria palais de lAlgérie
Tunisia palais de la Tunisie
French Indochina palais de lIndochine
French West Africa palais de lAfrique occidentale.
3.8 million people visited the exposition, and the success of the exposition led to renaming the neighbourhood next to the exposition from Tête d'Or to Tonkin de villeurbanne, thus referring to North Vietnam Tonkin, at that time part of French Indochina, in order to satisfy the inhabitants attracted to the exotic colonial atmosphere.
See also
Hanoi exhibition another colonial exhibition, 8 years later, in French Indochina
References
Category:World's fairs in Lyon
Category:French Third Republic
Category:1894 establishments in France
Category:19th century in Lyon
Category:Festivals established in 1894 | wikipedia |
physical activity ( pa ) is important in maintaining health and functional ability , especially in older adults
. it may also be an important predictor for the course of chronic diseases such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.13 several studies showed that lack of pa is a risk factor for the development of many chronic diseases.46 regular pa can play an important role in the prevention and management of cardiovascular disease , hypertension , diabetes , and other chronic diseases.4 warburton et al found that there is strong evidence that regular pa is effective in the primary and secondary prevention of several chronic diseases and premature death.7 the american college of sports medicine ( acsm ) and the american heart association ( aha ) have set pa guidelines .
the basic acsm and aha recommendations for people over 65 years of age include moderate exercise for at least 30 minutes a day , five days a week , or vigorous exercise for at least 20 minutes a day , three days a week in combination with strength training exercises.8 however , the assessment of pa remains difficult , especially in older adults.911 a number of questionnaires have been validated to assess pa in older adults , but all have several limitations .
for example , the zutphen physical activity questionnaire does not include household activities , one of the main activity types performed by older adults.12 the modified baecke questionnaire for older adults does not include walking and bicycling , which are common daily activities.13 the international physical activity questionnaire includes walking and bicycling for transportation purposes , and also includes household activities , but these items have only been validated among 1865-year - old adults.14 the longitudinal ageing study amsterdam physical activity questionnaire ( lapaq ) was developed and validated by keeping these limitations in mind , but it nevertheless has some limitations itself.15 first , the questionnaire is interviewer - administered , which requires training and substantial resources for its application in practice and studies .
a self - administered lapaq was recently developed , but has not undergone a validation process yet .
second , the lapaq was compared with a diary and pedometer , which were used as validation instruments . neither the diary nor the pedometer was able to accurately measure pa or validate the findings of the lapaq .
third , one study investigated the extent to which the findings of the lapaq were reproducible .
nevertheless , if the lapaq turns out to have good measurement properties , it would facilitate practical pa assessment in older adults . at face value
, the lapaq appears to be a promising tool for measuring pa ; however , uncertainty about its measurement properties remains .
therefore , we examined the reproducibility and validity of the self - administered lapaq using a modern triaxial accelerometer as a validation instrument.1619
the target participants were all persons aged 65 years from one primary health care center registered in the research network of the department of general practice of the university of amsterdam in the netherlands .
these individuals were identified through electronic patient charts by general practitioners ( gps ) . around 850 persons aged 65 years or older received study information and a written invitation letter from their gp to participate in the study .
they were invited to return a reply card only if they were interested in participating in the study .
approximately 150 individuals indicated their interest in participating in the study , and we contacted them by phone , inviting them for a first visit . for organizational reasons
inclusion criteria were dutch language as native language and the ability to walk independently , with or without assistive devices .
exclusion criteria were dementia , psychosis , or other psychiatric comorbidities that may invalidate the assessment of self - reported parameters such as the lapaq .
these criteria were evaluated by gps before invitations were sent and checked by study personnel at the first visit . during the first visit ( t )
patient characteristics such as age , sex , body mass index ( bmi , weight [ kg]/height [ m ] ) , and information about comorbidities were collected .
after 2 ( t = 1 ) and 4 ( t = 2 ) weeks , participants completed the lapaq .
since the lapaq asks about participants pa over the course of 2 weeks , the actr and the lapaq coincided at t1 , while t2 was used to determine the reproducibility of the lapaq only .
the study was approved by the medical ethics committee of the academic medical center and was funded by the dutch asthma foundation .
the lapaq contains 18 questions , which cover the frequency and duration of six activities during the previous 2 weeks : walking outside , bicycling , gardening , light and heavy household activities , and sports activities .
the participants were also asked if their physical activity pattern in the previous 2 weeks had been representative of the rest of the year .
stel and colleagues validated the interviewer - administered lapaq and adjusted this original version to obtain a less time - consuming and more practical self - administered version.15 first , some sentences were reformulated to improve participant comprehension .
second , only the nine most common sports activities were mentioned in the new version .
third , questions about moving around in a wheelchair were omitted . finally , the last question ( were the previous two weeks representative for the rest of the year with answer possibilities
) received an additional answer possibility ( no , i did more because ) . no changes with respect to the content of the questions
were made and it is unlikely that the activity measurements are affected by the adjustments .
appendix 2 shows the self - administered lapaq that was used in this study , which takes 510 minutes to complete .
the total scores can be measured for each activity and summing up the scores across all activities provides a total pa duration score ( in minutes/2 weeks ) .
the intensity for each activity can be expressed as metabolic equivalent tasks ( mets ) .
one met is defined as the ratio of work metabolic rate to a standard resting metabolic rate of 1.0 kilocalories per kilogram of body weight per hour.20,21 to compare the lapaq with the accelerometer , pa was classified into three met - categories : 22.99 mets ( mild pa ) , 35.99 mets ( moderate pa ) , and 6 mets ( vigorous pa ) .
we translated the lapaq - reported pa into met - values using a compendium20,21 ( see table 1 ) . according to the acsm guidelines , cut - off scores for the different pa intensity levels
are : 03 mets , mild pa ; 36 mets , moderate pa ; 69 mets , vigorous pa ; and 912 mets , very vigorous pa .
we used sligthly different cut - off points because the pa intensity of the lapaq activities ranged from 2.5 to 8 mets .
we used the sensewear pro armband accelerometer ( body - media , inc , pittsburgh , pa ) as the reference point ; this is a device that was validated with doubly labeled water and indirect calorimetry.1619 it is an ambulant body monitor system , which records metabolic and physical activity continuously .
it gives an exact overview of energy expenditure , and the duration ( minutes ) and intensity of daily activities ( met scores ) .
the device is attached to the right upper arm with a band , is 88 56 21 mm , and weighs 82 grams .
participants wore the device 24 hours a day ( except when showering or swimming ) for 2 weeks . the mean time that the device was actually worn was calculated .
many studies use correlation coefficients ( cc ) for the validation of questionnaires , but limitations of correlation coefficients are well documented in the literature.22 for example , since ccs are dependent on the true between - subject variation in the given study population , extrapolating results to other populations can be misleading .
furthermore , since ccs are measures of association but not of agreement between a questionnaire and its reference criterion , ccs can not detect systematic errors .
we calculated correlation coefficients , but our primary interest was a comparison by graphically visualizing aspects of agreement in scatter plots and bland
altman plots.23 differences in scores and pearson ccs ( pccs ) between lapaq scores and accelerometer values ( validity ) , as well as differences in scores between the two lapaq measurements ( reproducibility ) were calculated for the three pa intensity categories ( 22.99 mets , 35.99 mets , and 6 mets ) .
usually , intraclass correlation coefficients ( icc ) are used for measuring reproducibility ; however , we used the pcc , which is related .
one major difference between these two measurements is that the icc centers around and is scaled by a pooled mean and standard deviation ( sd ) , while the pcc centers around and is scaled by the mean and sd of each variable . since the activity pattern may have been different in the second time period , we preferred to use the pcc .
we used logistic regression and the area under the receiver operating characteristics ( roc ) curve to assess how well the lapaq score discriminates between individuals whose activity level is or is not in accordance with the acsm and aha recommendations .
all statistical analyses were performed with stata / se 10.1 ( statacorp lp , college station , tx ) and sas 9.2 ( sas institute inc , cary , nc ) .
the target participants were all persons aged 65 years from one primary health care center registered in the research network of the department of general practice of the university of amsterdam in the netherlands .
these individuals were identified through electronic patient charts by general practitioners ( gps ) . around 850 persons aged 65 years or older received study information and a written invitation letter from their gp to participate in the study .
they were invited to return a reply card only if they were interested in participating in the study .
approximately 150 individuals indicated their interest in participating in the study , and we contacted them by phone , inviting them for a first visit . for organizational reasons
inclusion criteria were dutch language as native language and the ability to walk independently , with or without assistive devices .
exclusion criteria were dementia , psychosis , or other psychiatric comorbidities that may invalidate the assessment of self - reported parameters such as the lapaq .
these criteria were evaluated by gps before invitations were sent and checked by study personnel at the first visit . during the first visit ( t )
patient characteristics such as age , sex , body mass index ( bmi , weight [ kg]/height [ m ] ) , and information about comorbidities were collected .
after 2 ( t = 1 ) and 4 ( t = 2 ) weeks , participants completed the lapaq .
since the lapaq asks about participants pa over the course of 2 weeks , the actr and the lapaq coincided at t1 , while t2 was used to determine the reproducibility of the lapaq only .
the study was approved by the medical ethics committee of the academic medical center and was funded by the dutch asthma foundation .
the lapaq contains 18 questions , which cover the frequency and duration of six activities during the previous 2 weeks : walking outside , bicycling , gardening , light and heavy household activities , and sports activities .
the participants were also asked if their physical activity pattern in the previous 2 weeks had been representative of the rest of the year .
stel and colleagues validated the interviewer - administered lapaq and adjusted this original version to obtain a less time - consuming and more practical self - administered version.15 first , some sentences were reformulated to improve participant comprehension .
second , only the nine most common sports activities were mentioned in the new version .
third , questions about moving around in a wheelchair were omitted . finally , the last question ( were the previous two weeks representative for the rest of the year with answer possibilities
) received an additional answer possibility ( no , i did more because ) .
no changes with respect to the content of the questions were made and it is unlikely that the activity measurements are affected by the adjustments .
appendix 2 shows the self - administered lapaq that was used in this study , which takes 510 minutes to complete .
the total scores can be measured for each activity and summing up the scores across all activities provides a total pa duration score ( in minutes/2 weeks ) .
the intensity for each activity can be expressed as metabolic equivalent tasks ( mets ) .
one met is defined as the ratio of work metabolic rate to a standard resting metabolic rate of 1.0 kilocalories per kilogram of body weight per hour.20,21 to compare the lapaq with the accelerometer , pa was classified into three met - categories : 22.99 mets ( mild pa ) , 35.99 mets ( moderate pa ) , and 6 mets ( vigorous pa ) .
we translated the lapaq - reported pa into met - values using a compendium20,21 ( see table 1 ) . according to the acsm guidelines , cut - off scores for the different pa intensity levels
are : 03 mets , mild pa ; 36 mets , moderate pa ; 69 mets , vigorous pa ; and 912 mets , very vigorous pa .
we used sligthly different cut - off points because the pa intensity of the lapaq activities ranged from 2.5 to 8 mets .
we used the sensewear pro armband accelerometer ( body - media , inc , pittsburgh , pa ) as the reference point ; this is a device that was validated with doubly labeled water and indirect calorimetry.1619 it is an ambulant body monitor system , which records metabolic and physical activity continuously .
it gives an exact overview of energy expenditure , and the duration ( minutes ) and intensity of daily activities ( met scores ) .
the device is attached to the right upper arm with a band , is 88 56 21 mm , and weighs 82 grams .
participants wore the device 24 hours a day ( except when showering or swimming ) for 2 weeks . the mean time that the device was actually worn was calculated .
many studies use correlation coefficients ( cc ) for the validation of questionnaires , but limitations of correlation coefficients are well documented in the literature.22 for example , since ccs are dependent on the true between - subject variation in the given study population , extrapolating results to other populations can be misleading . furthermore , since ccs are measures of association but not of agreement between a questionnaire and its reference criterion , ccs can not detect systematic errors .
we calculated correlation coefficients , but our primary interest was a comparison by graphically visualizing aspects of agreement in scatter plots and bland
altman plots.23 differences in scores and pearson ccs ( pccs ) between lapaq scores and accelerometer values ( validity ) , as well as differences in scores between the two lapaq measurements ( reproducibility ) were calculated for the three pa intensity categories ( 22.99 mets , 35.99 mets , and 6 mets ) .
usually , intraclass correlation coefficients ( icc ) are used for measuring reproducibility ; however , we used the pcc , which is related .
one major difference between these two measurements is that the icc centers around and is scaled by a pooled mean and standard deviation ( sd ) , while the pcc centers around and is scaled by the mean and sd of each variable . since the activity pattern may have been different in the second time period , we preferred to use the pcc .
we used logistic regression and the area under the receiver operating characteristics ( roc ) curve to assess how well the lapaq score discriminates between individuals whose activity level is or is not in accordance with the acsm and aha recommendations .
all statistical analyses were performed with stata / se 10.1 ( statacorp lp , college station , tx ) and sas 9.2 ( sas institute inc , cary , nc ) .
during september and october 2010 , a total of 92 subjects were recruited . of these participants ,
three were excluded because they provided extremely high pa scores on the lapaq of 9170 minutes and 14,280 minutes ( highly improbable given that there are 20,160 minutes in two weeks ) ; one participant even provided a score of 22,680 minutes .
in addition , one lapaq at t = 1 was missing , and two lapaqs at t = 2 were missing .
of the 86 subjects included in the study , 48% were male ; median age was 72 years , and median bmi was 25 .
participants actually wore the accelerometer on their body for 98.7 percent of the time ( interquartile range from 97.8% to 99.2% ) .
this percentage was measured as the actual on - body time divided by the theoretically maximal on - body time , which is 14 days .
a total of 36% participants did not report having any diseases ; 43% reported having one disease ; and 21% reported living with two or more diseases .
table 3 shows mean , median , and interquartile range of pa scores in each met category for the accelerometer , lapaq at t = 1 and lapaq at t = 2 .
as a reference , two full weeks contain 20,160 minutes ( 336 hours ) . according to the accelerometer , our population spent around 14% of their time ( 2748/20,160 minutes ) on pa and 10% ( 2058/20,160 minutes ) of their time was spent engaging in mild pa ( walking and light household activities ) . for reproducibility analyses , lapaq scores at t
= 1 were compared with lapaq scores at t = 2 ( n = 86 ) .
pccs , mean , and median difference scores for all categories are shown in table 4 .
the pcc for total pa ( 2 mets ) was 0.68 ( 95% ci 0.550.80 ) and the mean and median difference ( lapaq t = 1 minus lapaq t = 2 ) was 436 and 248 minutes , respectively .
pccs were also calculated for the representative group ( n = 50 ) ; these were the persons who claimed that their pa patterns were stable ( 2 yes on question 18 [ were the previous two weeks representative for the rest of the year ? ] ) .
for the total group ( 2 mets ) , the pcc was 0.73 ( 95% ci 0.590.88 ) and for the 22.99 mets , 35.99 mets , and 6 mets , the pccs were 0.69 ( 95% ci 0.540.84 ) , 0.81 ( 95% ci 0.690.93 ) and 0.81 ( 0.490.93 ) , respectively . in the scatter plot in figure 1 , the regression line is less steep than the line of equality . in general ,
the bland - altman plot shows again that the higher the pa score , the larger the difference in scores between lapaq at t = 1 and t = 2 ( see figure 1 ) . for validity analyses ,
accelerometer scores were compared with scores on lapaq at t = 1 ( n = 88 ) .
pccs , mean , and median difference scores for all categories are shown in table 4 .
the pcc was 0.25 ( 95% ci 0.070.44 ) for total pa ( 2 mets ) , and the mean and median difference in scores ( lapaq t = 1 minus accelerometer ) was 354 and 510 minutes , respectively .
in the scatter plot , the regression line is less steep than the line of equality .
below 2000 minutes of pa , the average lapaq scores are higher than average accelerometer scores ; when the scores are greater than approximately 2000 minutes of pa , the lapaq scores were lower than the average accelerometer scores .
altman plot shows much spread around the regression line and the range between the limits of agreement is wide , indicating measurement error in the lapaq ( see figure 2 ) .
the positive predictive value of the lapaq ( the ability for this questionnaire to correctly predict whether pa levels are above the recommended level ) is 0.88 ( 46/52 ) . the negative predictive value of the lapaq ( the ability of this questionnaire to correctly predict whether pa levels are below the recommended level ) is 0.33 ( 12/36 ) .
during september and october 2010 , a total of 92 subjects were recruited . of these participants ,
three were excluded because they provided extremely high pa scores on the lapaq of 9170 minutes and 14,280 minutes ( highly improbable given that there are 20,160 minutes in two weeks ) ; one participant even provided a score of 22,680 minutes .
in addition , one lapaq at t = 1 was missing , and two lapaqs at t = 2 were missing .
of the 86 subjects included in the study , 48% were male ; median age was 72 years , and median bmi was 25 .
participants actually wore the accelerometer on their body for 98.7 percent of the time ( interquartile range from 97.8% to 99.2% ) .
this percentage was measured as the actual on - body time divided by the theoretically maximal on - body time , which is 14 days .
a total of 36% participants did not report having any diseases ; 43% reported having one disease ; and 21% reported living with two or more diseases .
table 3 shows mean , median , and interquartile range of pa scores in each met category for the accelerometer , lapaq at t = 1 and lapaq at t = 2 .
as a reference , two full weeks contain 20,160 minutes ( 336 hours ) . according to the accelerometer , our population spent around 14% of their time ( 2748/20,160 minutes ) on pa and 10% ( 2058/20,160 minutes ) of their time was spent engaging in mild pa ( walking and light household activities ) .
for reproducibility analyses , lapaq scores at t = 1 were compared with lapaq scores at t = 2 ( n = 86 ) .
pccs , mean , and median difference scores for all categories are shown in table 4 .
the pcc for total pa ( 2 mets ) was 0.68 ( 95% ci 0.550.80 ) and the mean and median difference ( lapaq t = 1 minus lapaq t = 2 ) was 436 and 248 minutes , respectively .
pccs were also calculated for the representative group ( n = 50 ) ; these were the persons who claimed that their pa patterns were stable ( 2 yes on question 18 [ were the previous two weeks representative for the rest of the year ? ] ) .
for the total group ( 2 mets ) , the pcc was 0.73 ( 95% ci 0.590.88 ) and for the 22.99 mets , 35.99 mets , and 6 mets , the pccs were 0.69 ( 95% ci 0.540.84 ) , 0.81 ( 95% ci 0.690.93 ) and 0.81 ( 0.490.93 ) , respectively . in the scatter plot in figure 1 , the regression line is less steep than the line of equality . in general ,
the bland - altman plot shows again that the higher the pa score , the larger the difference in scores between lapaq at t = 1 and t = 2 ( see figure 1 ) .
for validity analyses , accelerometer scores were compared with scores on lapaq at t = 1 ( n = 88 ) .
pccs , mean , and median difference scores for all categories are shown in table 4 .
the pcc was 0.25 ( 95% ci 0.070.44 ) for total pa ( 2 mets ) , and the mean and median difference in scores ( lapaq t = 1 minus accelerometer ) was 354 and 510 minutes , respectively . in the scatter plot , the regression line is less steep than the line of equality .
below 2000 minutes of pa , the average lapaq scores are higher than average accelerometer scores ; when the scores are greater than approximately 2000 minutes of pa , the lapaq scores were lower than the average accelerometer scores .
altman plot shows much spread around the regression line and the range between the limits of agreement is wide , indicating measurement error in the lapaq ( see figure 2 ) .
the positive predictive value of the lapaq ( the ability for this questionnaire to correctly predict whether pa levels are above the recommended level ) is 0.88 ( 46/52 ) . the negative predictive value of the lapaq ( the ability of this questionnaire to correctly predict whether pa levels are below the recommended level ) is 0.33 ( 12/36 ) .
due to moderate reproducibility and low validity , the lapaq seems unsuitable in providing an exact estimate of physical activity levels in older adults .
overall , the lapaq underestimates physical activity by 510 minutes ( 8.5 hours in two weeks , 36 minutes per day ) .
however , for the highest met - category ( sports activities ) the lapaq scores were higher than the scores provided by the accelerometer .
this may be explained by a simple example : when a person is playing tennis for 1 hour , ( s)he might fill in 1 hour on the lapaq questionnaire , but the actual time engaging in pa above 6 mets is obviously less than 1 hour . when we compared both lapaq measurements , scores at t = 1 were higher than at t = 2 , with a median difference of 248 minutes ( 4 hours in 2 weeks , 18 minutes per day ) .
this may be a systematic effect caused by participants being more active in the first 2 weeks because they knew that their activity was being measured by the accelerometer ( otherwise known as the hawthorne effect).24 to avoid this , participants could have worn the accelerometer for 4 weeks instead of 2 weeks , but this might have led to a high drop - out rate since most participants were happy to take off the actr after two weeks . if this explanation is true , the reproducibility of the lapaq might be better than we measured in the current study .
although the lapaq seems unsuitable for providing exact measurements of physical activity levels in older adults , a more modest aim of this questionnaire might be to use it to determine if a person s activity level is above the current acsm and aha recommendations that individuals engage in moderate exercise for at least 30 minutes a day , 5 days a week ( 300 minutes 3 mets in two weeks ) , or that individuals engage in vigorous exercise for at least 20 minutes a day , for 3 days a week ( 120 minutes 6 mets in two weeks ) .
for this determination , the positive predictive value of lapaq is 88% and the negative predictive value is 33% .
this means that lapaq incorrectly predicts pa levels above the recommended guidelines in only 12% of respondents .
a number of questionnaires have been validated to assess physical activity in older adults , but all of them have several limitations and most have not been compared to activity monitors .
we compared the lapaq with sensewear , an actr that was validated with doubly labeled water and indirect calorimetry.16,18 a second strength of our study is that the actr and lapaq measurements coincided at t = 1 , implying that the lapaq covered the same time interval as the actr . with regards to reproducibility , the lapaq was administered twice , but only within a 2-week interval .
this probably avoided memory effects in participants ability to report their level of pa , while at the same time administration of the questionnaire in this timeframe may have ensured stability of activity levels .
a drawback of wearing the actr for only the first 2 weeks is that it may have induced a hawthorne effect , affecting our reproducibility measurements .
a third strength of our study is that our population consisted of 86 persons who varied in terms of sex , age , bmi , and comorbidities , which enhances the robustness of our correlation measures .
neilson et al evaluated several validation studies of pa questionnaires and the largest study they found contained a total of 80 subjects ( women only).9 they also found that in only 4 out of 36 studies , the pa questionnaires covered exactly the same time period of activity as the validation instrument ( which was consistent with the second strength of our study ) . finally , a fourth strength of our study is the elaborate statistical approach .
ambiguity still exists about the appropriate statistical methods and interpretation of validation studies . in schmidt and steindorf
s systematic review,22 the most common approach in validation studies is still the presentation of correlation coefficients ( 41 of 46 articles ) .
however , the limitations of correlation coefficients are well documented in the literature.22,23 the appropriate evaluation methods recommended by bland and altman were only applied in 10/46 publications .
altman plots , but they may remain undetected by correlation coefficients . in our study , correlation coefficients were added as a point of comparison for previous studies , but our primary interest was to compare our results by graphically visualizing aspects of agreement in bland
a limitation of our study ( which also served as a strength ) is the limited sample size .
although the present study seems to be one of the largest studies in this field , we still face wide confidence intervals indicating a high degree of variability in our findings . in conclusion
, the lapaq seems unsuitable for exact measurement of physical activity levels in older adults .
however , the lapaq is a fast and practical self - administered questionnaire that can be used in practice and in studies to determine if a person s activity level is above the recommendation level of the acsm and the aha . | pubmed |
One Piece First to Dawn
So I was feeling the need to try and be creative and come up with some kind of cray cray fantasy story that still uses Devil Fruit powers, but also has supernatural creatures in it. And this is what happened. I't going to be quite long I think. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. I will still be working on my other two fics, but I'm a little stuck with them at the moment. friggin writers block :P But anyway I REALLY hope you like this It's purely just to try and enhance my writing and creativity so I'm very sorry if it sucks :3 (I'm going to explain the creatures a bit at the end of the fic so yup.) I'm also sorry for any grammatical mistakes I make! (I'm only human)
**Disclaimer: I do NOT own One Piece or any of the characters mentioned.**
* * *
The world in which this story takes place is a very peculiar place indeed. Apart from the "normal" people who lived their day to day lives without a care in the world, there were other's who occupied the world's darkest corners. Beings who possessed great powers and skills. There were people who were different in appearance, such as those who were half wolf. Then there were people who possessed abilities and powers. Most of these beings kept to themselves and hid away in alleys and forests not wanting to be bothered by the "lower species" as they referred to the average humans as being. Though they disliked the humans so greatly and most of the creatures killed every human they came in contact with, almost all humans had no idea about their existence. Anything the humans knew was based off of legends, and those legends didn't even begin to encompass every thing that these beings could do or what they were. Not all of these beings hated humans though. The ones who didn't harbor a strong hatred toward humans joined the revolution. The revolution was lead by a powerful being who saw the destruction the world was being caused by the tyrannical government that ruled over it, and wanted to put a stop to it. Not only for the humans, but for his kind as well because every one was being affected by the choices the World Government made.
* * *
It was starting to get dark out and Luffy was slowly making her way home. Her appearance was disheveled. Her short black, messy hair whipped about in the wind and her cheeks were flushed from the cold. Her worn out strawhat hung from a string around her neck. The large sweater she wore did keep her somewhat warm, but the red scarf around her neck did a better job. It had been a long day of studying and information gathering for her mission. She didn't feel like dealing with anyone, she just wanted to go home and sleep, she was exhausted and tired. So when a strange man started following her she didn't take notice at first. She just kept walking. She was half way to her house when the man ran up behind her and put his hand over her mouth. She was stunned and confused at first. Who was this behind her? and why were they grabbing her?
Luffy could tell the man behind her was much weaker than her, but right now she was too tired to put up much of a fight. The man quickly pulled her into an alley way nearby. She did nothing to attempt an escape, just let the man drag her.
The man hadn't talked yet, he remained silent until they were safely in the alley.
"If you scream, I'll kill you. " The man stated. Luffy didn't care about treats, she was more than tough enough to handle herself.
No one ever messed with her, and for a good reason. She was known for being quite the violent fighter, she never gave up. Her daily life was a charade. Not like any one but her and a few select people in her group of friends knew, but she was the daughter of Dragon, the leader of the revolution going on in their world and she was his second in command. Sure she wasn't exactly the smartest person, but when the time called for it, she would be impressively wise for someone her age. Showing a seriousness and intelligence that was beyond her. Of course she always reverted back to her childish and naive nature when not in battle though.
Luffy just sighed and slumped her shoulders at the man's threat. She didn't feel like dealing with this right now. Usually she would have a little fun with her pray before she killed them and drained them, but today she wasn't feeling particularly playful.
She was a type of vampire who could survive for long periods of time without feeding and without being extremely blood thirsty (not that she didn't find the way humans smelled to be tasty), by eating human food. The only draw back being that if she didn't feed for more than two months her body would start to shut down. She was born a vampire, unlike other's who were titled the same species. There weren't many of her kind around, the only ones that were known about were her, her father and a very small clan that lived somewhere in the north. They were unique to say the least. Though her and her father both possessed different abilities, they were both extremely powerful. Her rubber abilities were incredibly awesome.
She usually didn't enjoy killing off random people, but this guy has it coming, it had also been a while since she'd had a decent feeding. What had it been? almost a month or so? Either way this man was to be her next meal. She sighed again before opening her mouth and biting down on the man's hand that was still covering her face. The man screamed in surprise at first, but was unable to continue because his blood was being drained from him at an alarmingly fast rate. It only took Luffy about a minute to finish the guy off entirely. His body fell to the ground with a thud and she calmly walked away from the scene. Not even taking a second glace back to the alley way.
She didn't bother to wipe the blood away from her mouth. It was dark enough outside that no one would be able to see it without staring at her. Even though her feeding had given her a considerable amount of energy, she was still very tired. It only took her another 5 minutes to make it too her apartment.
Usually she would have laid right down and fallen asleep without a care in the world. But today she smelled that she had a special visitor. She turned her head to the side to see a figure shrouded in darkness standing on the opposite side of the room. He wore a top hat and carried a metal staff with him. His tail was swaying from right to left and when he opened his eyes she could see the white that illuminated in the dark. She felt a smile cross her face at the sight of the wolfman in her presence. It had been a while since this particular person had come for a visit and she wasn't about to let her foul mood ruin it. She reached for the light switch and turned on the lights.
"When will you ever learn to clean yourself up after a meal, Lu?" He questioned walking closer to Luffy. He stopped right in front of her waiting for her response.
"When you learn to actually knock and not just sneak into my house, Sabo." A small smile playing at her lips.
"Hey to my defense you're never home when I get here!" he said as Luffy jumped on him and embraced him and a tight hug.
"Shishishi It's okay I don't mind! I missed you so much! how come you haven't visited me recently!?"
"Well I've been really busy lately. Dragon has been in need of my assistance a lot recently."
Sabo was the best strategist in the entire revolutionary army and very high among the ranks. He was constantly working to aid the revolution in it's effort and therefore didn't have much time to spend doing other things. Sabo and Luffy have been best friends since childhood. They grew up together.
"Well how long do you have here?" She questioned still not letting go of the wolfman.
"Haha I'm no quite sure, but I know it's more than 3 days" He replied with a smile.
"REALLY?! Awesome! You can stay here and sleep in my spare bedroom!" She cheered finally letting go of Sabo and doing a victory dance.
"Hahah sure thing, Lu. But... I would like for you to visit head quarters with me sometime this week. There's someone new in the combat unit that I'd like you to meet, he's become a friend of mine. He's human, but he's got a Devil Fruit ability that I know you'll like. We picked him up off the streets about two months ago, he was searching for food. So far he's proven to be a very worthy find. That, and I'm sure your father would like to see you, it's been almost a year."
"I'd love to meet him! and Yeah I know.. I feel bad about that.. I've just been so busy trying to complete my mission here and keep a low profile. Not letting other people figure out you're made of rubber is really hard when for some reason people really like pulling at your cheeks..." She stated with a pout.
Sabo couldn't help but to laugh at her.
"Well maybe it's cause they think you're adorable!" He said and continued to laugh as her pout deepened.
"I am not 'adorable'! I'm deadly! I could take out an army of one hundred in less than 5 minutes!" She whined. Sabo kept laughing, but he knew what she said was true. The small girl standing before him could pack quite the punch. It was downright terrifying sometimes.
He reached out and ruffled her hair.
"I know that, Lu, but the humans don't." He said with a warm smile.
"Hmmp. Well either way I don't have class tomorrow, so we can go then okay?" She said, she smile replacing her frown.
"Sounds fine to me. Should we race there? I bet I'll beat you again." Sabo said with a smirk. Even though Luffy was stronger than him, he had always been faster.
"Racing with you is no fair because you KNOW you're faster than me!" She said with the pout returning to her face.
"Hahaha Alright fine. Do you want to ride on my back then?"
"YEAH! That sounds like so much fun!"
"Alright it's settled then. We'll go to had quarters tomorrow."
"Yay! Alright! I should probably go get cleaned up now. Shishishi. I almost forgot I still have blood on my face! We should probably go to bed soon too."
"Yeah that's a good idea. I'll head off to the spare bedroom now. We'll need to wake up early around 6 in the morning so we can get to head quarters by around 9. I'm really excited for you to meet my newest friend. "
"I'm excited to meet him too! What's him name?"
"His name is Portgas D Ace. "
"Hmmmm... That's a cool name! I'm excited! Shishishishishi... " Luffy would have kept talking, but at that moment she let out a large yawn.
"Well I'm going to wash up and go to sleep. See you in the morning, Sabo!" She smiled a tired smile at him and then turned and made her way to the bathroom.
"Hahaha Alright. I'll wake you up." She just waved her hand back at him to let him know she heard.
So with that, Sabo then mad his way to the spare bedroom. He took his hat off and let his large fluffy wolf ears free of their confinement and settled down on the bed.
He sighed to himself, even though he was excited to introduce Luffy to his newest friend, he knew tomorrow would prove to be a tiring day.
* * *
**Creature Info!**
**Mokay. So I figured it'd be a good idea to explain the creatures I'm trying to use here so far, there will be more strangeness Okay so within this world there are humans. Humans can eat Devil Fruits and gain abilities, but it is EXTREMELY rare to find Devil Fruits. It will remain unknown how Ace got his. Just putting that out there. **
**Okay then we have the vampires. All of the vampires in this world are not ANYTHING like the Twilight vampires. The vampires in this story will not sparkle, They do not smell sweet, and they are not cold to the touch. The normal vampires in this world are created by being bitten like in normal legends and live in clans, and age but at a slow rate (if a vampire is impregnated she will most likely lose the baby, the ones who survive will be born human, due to the fact that their parents were originally human). **
**Luffy and her father though are a special breed of vampire that is able to reproduce and have the offspring be born as a vampire. They will age along with the humans, but have a much longer life expectancy. This kind of vampire also each as born with a different ability that is drawn from the power of a Devil Fruit. Like normal vampires they feed on humans and all that and they have heightened senses.
(Due to the fact the Luffy is mad of Rubber she wont ever have to worry about wrinkles. Yay!) **
**Sabo is a Wolfman. He cannot control his appearance and always has wolf like features displayed and has wolf like senses. They are also the fastest kind of creature in this world. **
**(sorry people but there are no Werewolves in this story) I'm not a big fan of them :3 But there will be a large amount f other creatures to come in further chapters hopefully. So yeah**
**I'm very excited for this story. **
**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS :D**
End file.
| fanfiction |
This course introduces you on how to use Microsoft Dynamics CRM to extend the effectiveness of your marketing department and provides context of how to use things such as marketing campaigns, marketing lists, and campaign templates in Microsoft Dynamics CRM. It also discusses the role of campaign activities and marketing lists in campaigns and discusses how to associate sales literature, target products and price lists with marketing campaigns.
This course is designed for new partners and customers of Microsoft Dynamics CRM that want to learn about the available marketing features in the Microsoft Dynamics CRM product.
Import Leads from Microsoft Office Excel files.
Capture and manage campaign responses. | slim_pajama |
Harry Potter, Naruto 1. Chapter 1
My Ninja Way!
Chapter 1: A whole new world!
Naruto POV:
Training Ground 7, 12:30PM KST (Konoha Standard Time)
"Just one more try…" I said before I fell to the ground oblivious to the things going on around me. My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I was trying to master the 4th Hokage's jutsu, the Rasengan! You see I made a bet with this old hag that by the end of this week I would have that jutsu mastered and win her necklace. Unfortunately, things got a bit more complicated. How this happened, I don't know. But when I woke up, a stick was pointed at my face from a guy with redder hair than Gaara!
Forbidden Forest, 6:47Pm GMT (Greenwich Mean Time)
"_W-Who are you?_" I stuttered surprised at this sudden change in scenery.
"What in bloody hell are you talking about?" the red-head said.
The sounds from this polka-dotted red panda were strange to me. It was like he was speaking another language! One I haven't heard ever in the Elemental Nations.
"Oh hush up Ron; he is clearly talking in Japanese. _Where did you come from and how are you here?" _the girl had asked nicely.
"_I don't know, one moment I was practicing my jutsu, the next this guy is pointing a stick in my face._" I answered truthfully.
"It seems we have a visitor." A man in a beard approached saying.
"Professor Dumbledore?" they all questioned in unison.
"Seems one of my experiments has brought a young man from another world here. Amazing he can comprehend all of this. Muggles tend to not be able to comprehend what they see this far into the barrier." Dumbledore stated.
"_Muggles?" _I asked confused.
"This language barrier seems to be a problem…hmm..Ah, that's the spell. Anglicus Interpretatio." Dumbledore said calmly.
"What did you do to ME?!" I screamed. "Wait, I sound like you guys. What kind of trick is this? Am I under some sort of genjutsu? Maybe I'm dead…"
"I can assure you, you are very much alive." Dumbledore said with a smile."Will you three please escort…?"
"Naruto" I said softly.
"…Naruto to the castle. Bring him to your common room until we sort this ordeal out." Dumbledore said as he quickly walked away.
The walk over to the castle took no longer than 10 minutes. We first entered into the Great Hall to say their greetings to their friends then took me to the staircase. I was amazed at how the stairs moved around whenever they wanted to. My eyes darting from place to place looking at everything. I could also sense great power in the school.
"_Sugoi!_" I gaped amazed at all the sights and actions going on around me.
"So Naruto, what did you do before you, well you know. I'm Hermione by the way." Hermione asked.
"I am a ninja/Genin for Konohagakure no Sato. I was training to become stronger with my sensei Ero-Sennin. I practicing a new technique I learned until I passed out from exhaustion. If I ever get back I plan on becoming Hokage!" I exclaimed.
"What did you do as a ninja?" Ron asked.
"Oh the usual, babysitting, gardening, killing bad guys, catching ca-" I was stopped in speech.
"YOU DID WHAT?" all three exclaimed, the loudest definitely Hermione.
"You guys never tried to catch a cat huh? It's pretty difficult seeing as-" getting cut off again.
"Not that you, ahhg. You killed people?" Hermione asked, "As in people died by your hands?"
"Yeah, pretty much." I replied calmly.
"Don't you feel bad about any of it?" She asked back. "I mean you did kill them."
"I guess that's just how my world was. It was either be prepared to fight, or die a coward." I answered back. Both Ron and the boy with the lightning shaped scar looked at me, mouths agape. "What's up with your scar? I still have you beat with these whisker marks though!"
"My names Harry Potter, I got this scar when I was a baby. My mom protected me with her love. It shielded me from the killing curse that Voldemort tried to cast on me. This scar is the only thing that showed up when it hit me. The curse rebounded and hit old Moldy Wart." Harry said.
"Oh…" I replied.
"Why don't we get into the common room? We've been standing out here for at least 7 minutes talking. We can talk more inside." Hermione stated. "Privately."
On that note we walked inside. They said they might sort me into a house that might not me Gryffindor. I said it was alright since I realized that hat couldn't determine your entire future, only what potential you might have. Although I would like to be sorted into Gryffindor more than any of the other houses.
2. Chapter 2
My Ninja Way!
Chapter 2: The hat talks to me?
3rd Person POV
Hogwarts, 7:00AM GMT
The sun shone brightly through the openings faded curtains over the window of the boys' dormitory in the Gryffindor common rooms. Naruto has just had one of his weirdest experiences coming from his world into an entirely new one. Sure when he heard that people used magic he was fascinated, but he wondered why HE was going to be sorted into a magical house. Dumbledore had sent Hagrid to get his supplies at Diagon Alley with the money from Dumbledore's personal vault. What seemed like a bad dream to Naruto now, is going to become more the real.
"Wake up!" screeched Hermione trying to wake the boys up. The only one that actually complied was Naruto, jumping out of his bed landing onto the ceiling. "How did you…Never mind. Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, GET UP NOW!"
"Calm down woman…" Ron mumbled in his sleep, unaware of the bucket of water approaching his bed… *SPLASH* "I'm up, I'm up, bloody hell." Whispering that last part, Ron had got up to a smiling Harry. "What are you so smug about? And why didn't you get wet?" Ron asked annoyingly.
"I actually woke up on the second time, not bothering to pester her more." Harry replied.
With those last words said, the boys went to go change while Hermione waited downstairs. Naruto walked out sporting his orange get-up while Harry and Ron followed behind him in their school clothes. As they walked into the Great Hall, they received many glances in their direction, mostly to Naruto of course.
"Why are they all looking at me funny?" Naruto questioned.
'You stand out the most, wearing all orange and blue. You should seriously consider a new outfit." Hermione said.
'I like this outfit." Naruto replied calmly.
"New kid!" A bright blonde headed boy said.
"Malfoy, stay away from us. Don't mess with Naruto, he's completely new here. You don't want him to kill you!" Harry said with a smirk.
"Him, kill me? You're joking right? He looks like he couldn't even take on Longbottom." Malfoy said.
"Don't tempt me." Naruto said, suddenly appearing behind Malfoy, holding a black wand.
"Hey! That's my wand, how did you get it?" Malfoy asked flustered. 'I didn't even feel a thing' he thought to himself.
"Easy, don't put a stick halfway out of your pocket next time." Naruto said pleasantly, throwing the wand back at Malfoy. "Keep your precious items safer."
Naruto POV
Hogwarts-Great Hall, 6:30PM GMT
We walked into the Great Hall at around dinner time. The time in between classes were boring since I was alone most of the time. I did meet a girl named Luna though. Luna kind of reminds me of Hinata, they both act strange. Anyway, they said Dumbledore noticed a lot of magical energy coming from inside of my body and that I should learn how to control it.
"Settle down, settle down." Dumbledore spoke to break the conversations from many of the students. "We have a new student here, as you all may notice. His name is Naruto Uzumaki. Now as tradition, we shall place him into one of our 4 houses: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin. Professor McGonagall, may you please take out the sorting hat?"
A woman with a large pointy hat walked into a room and when she walked out, I noticed that she was carrying a hat, with features of that of a mouth. I could sense some sort of power that was inside the hat, but I don't know what it was. It just sort of seemed to have a mind.
"Naruto Uzumaki!" McGonagall shouted. "Please sit down and let the Sorting Hat evaluate which house you shall belong in." And with that I walked up and sat on a stool. I felt as if someone was gaining access to my mind. It was a weird sensation at first, but I soon got over it. I trust these people enough to try not to gain my memories without me knowing.
'Hmmm, interesting." The hat spoke in my mind. 'You have great power, and a will to save others. Very brave as well, but I sense something foul in you. Something, that if to be brought out, it could harm many lives. But I can see your will to want to succeed. Any of the four houses may suit you well.'
'Please Gryffindor!' I mentally thought.
'Gryffindor, I suppose you have many friends there already. I have made up my mind…' The hat paused, "GRYFFINDOR!" it shouted for all the students to hear. A wild uproar of screams and shouts came following with respectful or disrespectful coming from a certain house, barrage of claps.
"Now now, since we have determined which house Naruto shall be part of, and treated like family in…Let the feast begin!" Dumbledore shouted.
Sounds of amazement came out of my mouth as delicious looking foods appeared right in front of me. Some of the foods I have not even known about. And to top it all off, there was even ramen! I had a feeling that I was going to like going to this school. The ramen wasn't that bad, I was probably on my 7th bowl when Harry and Ron had to pull me away from reaching another one.
"And I thought I ate a lot." Ron said laughing. "You completely devoured those bowls of noodle!"
"I can't go a day without one, or fifteen." I said smiling. "I guess it's time for us to go to bed. I hear Dumbledore has a surprise for us next dinner. I hope its more ramen…" I continued drooling at the thought of Ichiraku and when I can get back to it.
3rd Person POV
Gryffindor Common Room – Boy's dormitory, 7:00AM GMT
Naruto woke up to a letter on his bedside table –
_ Dear Naruto,_
_Your school supplies have been transferred into your trunk at the end of_
_your bed. You will need to personally go to Ollivanders to get your wand to_
_match yourself. Drop by my office and I will send you there. The pass-_
_ word is' Lemon Drops'._
_ Yours Truly,_
_ Professor Dumbledore_
Naruto looked for anything else, but just left the common rooms to go to Dumbledore's office.
"Lemon Drops" Naruto said. He walked into the office, greeted by a bearded man with a light blue grey robe.
"Ah, Naruto. I assume you got my letter?" Naruto nods. "Very well then, I will supply you with enough galleons for you to go to Ollivanders and get your wand. Here take this powder and when you throw it down, yell 'Diagon Alley'. You should end up in a wonderful place."
"Diagon Alley!" Naruto yelled. He erupted into green flames and disappeared into Diagon Alley. "Now let's see, Ollivanders. Oh, there it is!" Naruto walked into the store and rung the bell.
"Just one moment" a voice said. "I'll be right there."
3. Chapter 3
My Ninja Way!
Chapter 3: I get a stick too!
**Thanks for the reviews!**
'Thought'
"Diaglogue"
"Jutsu/Spell"
3rd Person POV
Ollivander's Wand Shop, 8:00AM GMT:
"Diagon Alley!" Naruto yelled. He erupted into green flames and disappeared into Diagon Alley. "Now let's see, Ollivanders. Oh, there it is!" Naruto walked into the store and rung the bell.
"Just one moment" a voice said. "I'll be right there." Ollivander came towards his counter to see a blond boy with immense power. "Well, I assume you will need a wand."
"Yes sir." Naruto said.
"Well, just one moment then…Hmm, maybe this will do. 11 inches, mahogany, with a dragon heartstring core." Ollivander explained then handed Naruto the wand. "Well, give it a flick." Ollivander will regret that. Just as Naruto flicked it, his windows cracked and broke while shelves of wands fell, dropping their contents. "No, definitely not."
"Maybe another one." Naruto added.
"Of course another one. Here, this wand is: 12 inches, ebony, with a core of fox hair." As soon as Naruto touched that wand, magical energy enveloped him and the shop began fixing itself. "Well, I believe the wand has spoken. I see something inside you. It could be used for goodness, or could lead to our destruction. Be wary of your future young Naruto." Ollivander added then waved Naruto goodbye.
Naruto decided to at least walk around a bit to look at all the shops. He saw shops for almost everything, books, clothes, food, pets…brooms?
'Why would they sell brooms?' Naruto thought. 'Well, I did hear something about flying on one.' Naruto then chose to floo back to Hogwarts. He saw enough things for one day.
"Hogwarts!" Naruto screamed. 3 seconds later, Naruto appeared back into Dumbledore's office.
"I see you have acquired your wand." Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yeah, you better believe it!" Naruto said ecstatically.
"I suppose you should take classes starting tomorrow. No need to rush you into your own torture just yet."
Harry POV
Great Hall, 6:30 GMT:
Ron, Hermione, and I walked into the Great Hall with a look of awe on our faces. We just saw a flying carriage pulled by winged creatures, and a ship rising out of water. There is no doubt that the "special announcement" Dumbledore's going to make is about that.
"Now, as you all have noticed, two exciting things happened today. Why not another?" Dumbledore said. "Hogwarts has been chosen to host the Tri-Wizard Tournament! For the one who wins will receive eternal glory!"
Chatter erupted from many parts of the Great Hall. Some questioning the safety, while others were considering if they should join this tournament. These thoughts of competing were then broken by Dumbledore's next sentence.
"Only those that are 17 and over may enter." Dumbledore said readily for a barrage of rage.
I heard from my left side the Weasley twins shouting at this. I for one was glad. People would expect me to join for being The-Boy-Who-Lived. I don't want eternal glory. I just want to be Harry.
"Now let's introduce our guests" Dumbledore announced.
_*This entire scene plays out exactly like the movie portrays it except for a bloody-nosed Naruto when __Beauxbatons come out.*_
3rd Person POV
Gryffindor Common Room, 9:00PM GMT:
"Naruto, I haven't seen that much blood in my life!" Ron shouted. "It was like a waterfall!"
"Sorry, can't help myself. I am from another world and that happens when we see sexy ladies." Naruto explained. "At least it wasn't real blood. Just a genjutsu of what my emotions were showing.
"I heard that my brothers are going to make an aging potion to get across the boundary lines. If it works, I'll have to ask them for some myself." Ron said.
"It won't work." Hermione said.
"Why not?" Ron replied.
"Dumbledore is one of the greatest wizards of all time. He wouldn't be foolish enough to be bested by an aging potion. You brothers are in for the time of their lives."
"Yeah yeah, whatever."
_*The next day*_
Room Obtaining Goblet of Fire, 8:00AM GMT
Students from all schools and years surrounded the Goblet of Fire watching as the older students put their name in. It went silent as Victor Krum put his name inside, obviously knowing he would get in.
"We got it!" the Weasley twins shouted. "Just finished up this morning."
"As I already told Ron, it won't work" Hermione said.
"Well, only one way to found out right?" Fred and George said together. "One, two, three." They both jumped inside the boundary lines. Nothing happened. "Yeah!" they both exclaimed as the room erupted into cheers. As soon as they put their names in though, they got pushed out and both had beards that would rival Dumbledore himself.
'It's your fault!" Fred said.
'No it's yours!" George screamed back. They both got into a small fight on the ground. Laughter echoing around the room as their attempt failed. McGonagall then dragged the twins to the infirmary to get the beards removed.
"Well, that was interesting. I think I'm going to go for a walk." Naruto said. "Bye Hermione."
"Bye."
Naruto started on his walk in the many hallways of Hogwarts. He was thinking about what life is like right now in Konoha, and with Jiraiya knowing that he's missing. It still hasn't fully sunk in yet that he wasn't with his friends and his sensei.
"Hello Naruto." Luna said, "What are you doing walking in the halls?"
"Just thinking. What are you doing?" Naruto asked back.
"Some people stole my shoes. Thought it would be funny for me to go out and look for them."
"I could help you if you would like. I have a 'spell' that could search a large area."
"Really? That would be great. But I wouldn't want to bother you."
"It's no problem. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto said, releasing about 20 clones of him.
"Found it!" One of the clones said, handing it back to Luna. Naruto then released the jutsu.
"Well, thanks for helping me. I hope I can repay you back."
"No need, anything for a friend." Naruto replied. He started feeling nervous around her. Like tensions arose. 'Why am I so nervous right now? I'm never nervous.'
"See you around Naruto." The words echoed inside Naruto's mind, like he didn't want to forget her voice.
'This is so weird.' Naruto thought to himself. 'The only time I've felt like this to someone was with Sakura..'
Naruto decided to go back to the common room to think things over about what just happened. He was starting to like Luna, but he just didn't know it yet. Hopefully he can figure things out before the Yule Ball comes.
End file.
| fanfiction |
the theory of holography was first developed by hungarian scientist dennis g@xmath0bor around 1947 - 48 while working to improve the resolution of an electron microscope @xcite .
he coined the words hologram and holography from the greek words holos ( whole , entire ) and gramma ( anything written or drawn ) .
a hologram is defined as the whole [ or entire ] message : the total information .
however , holography refers to the information storage process . according to the principle of holography , a detailed three dimensional image of an object can be recorded in a two dimensional photographic film and the image can be reproduced in a three dimensional space . in the first holographic experiment gabor used incandescent light and the results were good enough to prove his theory .
the quality of the hologram was poor due to the random phase relationships ( the noise ) produced by the incandescent light .
the conventional optical holography is a unique interference pattern of two light beams : a reference beam and an object beam ( also known as the diffraction beam ) [ see fig . 1 ] .
a laser beam is split by a beam splitter into two parts .
the first one ( the reference beam ) of the divided coherent beam is focused directly on the film and the second one ( the object beam ) is first flashed onto the object of interest and the modified light waves , after reflection from the object , are then directed on the film where they interact with the reference beam .
the interaction of the coherent information in the reference beam and the object beam creates the interference pattern and is recorded ( encoded ) in the film emulsion .
the complex patterned information stored in the film is called hologram. when the developed film is again illuminated by a coherent light beam , the encoded information is projected into local space and an image of the original object is reconstructed .
the hologram can be produced by any wave kind of wave action @xcite .
the conventional laser holography @xcite , acoustical holography @xcite and electron holography @xcite came up about fifty years after the first articulated hologram theory .
due to an advancement in the computer technology the computational holography @xcite , a computer synthesized real - time interactive or virtual reality display of holograms , is a growing area of interest . in this work
we investigate the aberrations caused by the holographic procedure .
we also studied the effect of reading beam hitting the screen not in the same direction as the reference wave , but in a slightly different one , and by using slightly different wavelengths for the reading , etc .
as it is known in optics @xcite , the image of a point is rarely a point , but a fuzzy object .
we investigate the width of this image and its dependence on the size of the holographic screen , the distance between the screen and the object , the distance of the object from the symmetry axis of the screen , the nature of the mapping and reading wave . by waves of different nature ,
we mean scalar , spinor , vector and tensor waves etc ... in the section-[s : form ] we describe the theory of creation and reading of a hologram using various types of waves in the usual space and hyperspace . in the section-[s
: stationary point ] we use computer simulations and study the image created by the holographic mapping of a single stationary point with scalar wave in 2d - space , and then reading the hologram . in this section
we also investigate the aberrations caused by the holographic procedure . in the section-[s : conclusions ] we present the discussion and conclusions .
in this section we first describe the creation of holograms when the object is in the usual three - dimensional space ( subsection [ s2:form ] ) . in the present study
the hologram is two - dimensional .
this of course can be generalized also for a different dimensionality d , but then the dimensionality of the hologram will be d-1. next , we describe the reconstruction of the holographic image in the d - dimensional space ( subsection [ s1:form ] ) .
as said above , the holograms can be formed in the presence of any wave action @xcite , first we use scalar fields and we generalize our procedure for several other fields , such as vector ( electromagnetic , acoustic , maxwell - proca ) , tensor ( gravitational ) , and spinor fields .
we also describe how can one generalize these calculations to a space of different dimensionality . to generalize the results of our previous work @xcite , here we use a massive scalar field and we prove that for this the green s functions found in the classical text books of electricity and magnetism , such as @xcite are adequate .
scalar waves can be produced by using scalar particles , or pseudo scalars , as in the case of our calculation space reflection is not used .
even if we make use of electromagnetic waves , that are vectors , they can be regarded as scalars in the so - called paraxial approximation , meaning that the size of the screen is much smaller than the object - screen distance @xcite .
but in order to create and read holograms , one must investigate how different kind of waves are reflected and how do they affect photosensitive materials .
we restrict our discussion to reflection holograms , although the generalization to transmission holograms is straightforward , and we assume thin holograms only . for scalar waves
, there is obviously no issue of polarity . for vectorial waves with several components @xmath1
, the reflection process can be modelled as @xmath2 where the prime referring to the components after reflection , r is the reflectivity , and @xmath3 is the reflection tensor .
the negative sign is due to the phase the phase shift of @xmath4 due to reflection . for tensor waves ,
this is generalized as @xmath5 next we describe how this transformation tensor is determined in the case when we use vectorial waves .
the wave vectors of the incident and reflected waves are @xmath6 and @xmath7 .
when we create the hologram , the first wave vector refers to the object beam before it hits the object , while the second the wave vector of the same when it leaves the object .
however , when we read the hologram , the first wave vector is that of the reference beam and the second is that of the wave reflected from the hologram .
we assume that they are equal in magnitude , @xmath8 , i.e. one has elastic scattering .
these two vectors determine a plane of incidence .
we then construct the unit vectors @xmath9 and @xmath10 , requiring that both be in the plane of incidence and @xmath11 , therefore they are found to be @xmath12 and @xmath13 where @xmath14 is the cosine of the angle between the two wave vectors . in the electromagnetic case ( whether the wave is transverse as in the case of free waves , or longitudinal or mixed , as they can appear in plasmas ) as well as in the case of massive vector bosons ,
that are called maxwell - proca waves , the reflection from perfect conductors has the same boundary conditions .
we model our reflection tensor in eq .
( [ eq1 ] ) to satisfy these boundary conditions , which are compatible with the very reasonable and commonly used assumption that there will be a phase shift of @xmath4 due to reflection .
this mean that the polarization component that is perpendicular to the plane of incidence will change sign ( which is signified by the minus sign in eq .
( [ eq1 ] ) , but we later include this sign in the phase ) .
the polarization component that is parallel to @xmath6 will be parallel to @xmath7 and will also change sign , just like the component parallel to @xmath15 that will be parallel to @xmath16 .
these considerations will give the following form to the tensor @xmath17
@xmath18 the @xmath19 and @xmath20 symbols mean the unit vectors belonging to @xmath21 and @xmath22 .
one can verify that a reflection of this kind preserves helicity . while modelling spin we consider processes that preserve helicity in order to be consistent with our former results and we also assume that the reflection tensor does not modify the norm , since we want to incorporate this effect into @xmath23 , and we also assume that there is a phase shift of @xmath4
. therefore eq .
( [ eq1 ] ) is maintained , while the transformation tensor is different @xmath24 with @xmath25 and the @xmath26 symbols stand for the usual pauli matrices .
the only link missing from our discussion is the investigation of the manner these waves interact with photographic materials .
it is known that for optical holograms the maxima correspond to the ventral points of the electric fields and not those of the magnetic fields and that the electric fields @xmath27 are parallel to the vector potential @xmath28 : @xmath29 @xcite .
therefore we model all our pure transverse waves in the same way as the free electromagnetic waves and the purely longitudinal ones as electrostatic waves . for these waves , if the intensity @xmath30 is defined as @xmath31 one can see that @xmath32 .
however , maintaining the same definition of @xmath30 for the maxwell - proca case , one does not have the same proportionality between intensity and the square of the vector potential as in the electromagnetic case .
it is known @xcite that for massive vector bosons the gauge symmetry is broken and the lorentz condition is mandatory , therefore besides the transverse fields @xmath33 there will be longitudinal components @xmath34 even in the case of free waves .
the frequency @xmath35 will not only depend on the wave vector , but also on the mass of the particle @xmath36 : @xmath37 , in the so - called natural system ( @xmath38 ) .
for these kind of waves it is also crucial to find a connection between the @xmath27 and @xmath28 fields , since the former is involved in the computation of the intensity , while the latter is given by the green s function formalisms directly , as we see in subsection [ s1:form ] . maintaining the same definition for the electric fields as in electrodynamics and making use of the lorentz condition
, we find that the electric field is @xmath39 , therefore the proportionality relation becomes @xmath40 in the scalar case we assume that the intensity is proportional to the absolute value squared of the wave field and in the spinor and tensor case this will be proportional to the sum of the absolute values squared of each component of the wave field .
the hologram is produced , as seen in fig.(1 ) , by splitting a single beam into two pieces : the object beam with its wave vector @xmath41 and the reference beam directly shed on the photographic plaque with a wave vector @xmath42 . as we have said before
, we assume a d - dimensional space with the holographic screen lying on the d-1 plane by construction .
we assume that the phase of the reference beam is @xmath43 while the phase of object beam is @xmath44 in the origin , which is also the geometrical center of the holographic screen .
the wavelength of the radiation is @xmath45 , where @xmath46 is the wave vector .
therefore the phase of the reference beam at an arbitrary point @xmath47 of the screen ( whose position vector is @xmath48 ) is @xmath49 . likewise if the position vector of the object is @xmath50 , the phase of the object beam when it hits the object is @xmath51 .
when the object beam is reflected , it acquires an additional phase @xmath4 , and when it hits the screen at @xmath47 , its phase will be @xmath52 . in the case of reflection , we added a phase @xmath4 , which is not always realistic , but in most cases is a good approximation and is widely used in eikonal optics @xcite . the wave field that is reflected from the object and then hits the screen has a value of @xmath53 , which is @xmath54 we labeled the amplitude of the object wave by @xmath55 , the cross section of the object by @xmath56 , its reflectivity by @xmath23 , and we assumed isotropic reflections , which is also a reasonable approximation .
likewise the reference beam ( whose amplitude is @xmath57 ) will have its contribution to the field on the screen @xmath58 the fields @xmath59 and @xmath60 can be added together and squared , and then we have the interference picture that is the hologram. how would one generalize for an arbitrary number of dimensions ? only eq . ( [ 1aeq1a ] )
will be modified , while the phases will be given by the same formulae as before , and eq .
( [ 1aeq1 ] ) is also maintained , with the exception that the dot product will contain a different number of terms . as we have found previously @xcite , in the case where we assume isotropic reflections and
the number of dimensions d is greater than two , the reflected wave field from the object will read @xmath61 where @xmath62 is the euler function and we also have to use the generalized cross section @xmath63 instead of @xmath56 . in this case , as we have said previously , the dimensionality of the holographic picture is d-1. the only infra - dimensional case which makes sense is d=2 , where the hologram is one - dimensional and eq .
( [ 1aeq1a ] ) will be modified as @xmath64 this discussion covers the effects of the dimensionality while creating the hologram . as we have seen , the velocity does not show up in these formulae , the only thing that is referring to the wave is the wave vector , therefore there is no dependence on the mass except for the case of the maxwell - proca waves due to eq .
( [ 5a ] ) .
this will be true also in the case of hologram reading .
we can generalize the former discussion for the case of waves with different nature , which implies a different number of components . for vector and spinor fields
, there will be @xmath65 components
@xmath66 where @xmath67 and @xmath68 where @xmath69 are the amplitudes of the different components for the object beam when it leaves the object , while @xmath70 are the different components for the reference beam .
the intensity on the screen at point @xmath47 will be @xmath71 .
the components @xmath69 will be evaluated as follows @xmath72 the hologram is read once one sheds a wave on it . it may be noted that the direction and the frequency of this beam should be the same as those of the reference beam that was used to create it . in order to determine the image generated by a hologram when we shed some wave onto it
, one must know the reflected fields at any given point .
the intensity of these fields is related to the squares of the reflected wave fields as we have described in subsection [ s0:form ] , and knowing that , we can have an analytical description of the generated image .
if some wave is reflected from a surface ( such as a hologram ) , we can compute the reflected fields on the surface and we can examine how those fields propagate .
first we consider how static fields are determined from known boundary conditions and after that we extend the calculation for wave fields . for simplicity ,
we start with the ( massive ) scalar case .
the green s function @xmath73 of a static field is defined as @xmath74 the field at any given point can be calculated as @xmath75 where the derivative @xmath76 is related to the variable @xmath77 . after applying the following identities @xmath78 -({\vec { \nabla}}g({\vec r},{\vec r}^{\prime } ) ) ( { \vec { \nabla}}\varphi({\vec r } ) ) \ , , \nonumber \\
( { \vec { \nabla}}g({\vec r},{\vec r}^{\prime } ) ) ( { \vec { \nabla}}\varphi({\vec r}))= & & { \vec { \nabla}}(g({\vec r},{\vec r}^{\prime } ) \nabla \varphi({\vec r}))-g({\vec r},{\vec r}^{\prime } ) \nabla^2 \varphi({\vec r})\ , , \label{1eq2a}\end{aligned}\ ] ] and making use of the laplace equation @xmath79 the field in any point can be calculated as @xmath80 where @xmath81 is the component of the derivative that is perpendicular to the surface .
the first term refers to the sources and we assume that there are no sources in the part of space we examine .
the other two terms are the so - called surface terms . in optics ,
these are called kirchhoff integrals . whenever the first surface term vanishes(and the green s function must be chosen accordingly , so that it vanishes on the surface ) we must know the value of the field on the surface , and we are said to use the dirichlet conditions .
if we know only the derivatives of the fields on the surface , we must require that the normal derivative of the green s function vanishes on the surface , and we are said to make use of a neumann green s function . note that any of these conditions can be met at any time ( although not both at the same time ) because eq .
( [ 1eq1 ] ) does not completely fix the green s function , so we might add any term whose laplacian is zero ( in the region of space we are interested in ) in such a way that the new green s function satisfies either one of the two conditions .
because we can calculate the fields at the surface , we use a dirichlet green s function , so our field at any given point is expressed as follows @xmath82 from the image solution for the auxiliary electrostatic problem , the green s function for dirichlet conditions can be calculated .
we need to know the dirichlet green s function on a plane .
first we define some new variables @xmath83 and @xmath84 as @xmath85 , ( in terms of our orthonormal basis @xmath86 , @xmath87 , @xmath88 ) , @xmath89 . in these terms , the dirichlet green s function is given in @xcite as @xmath90 if instead of static field we have wave fields , this green s function is replaced with @xmath91 where @xmath92 is the phase velocity of our wave .
since we consider only one frequency ( @xmath35 ) , we only need the fourier transform of this green s function , which is @xmath93 note that the dependence on @xmath35 and hence on the mass has disappeared .
if we change the sign between the two terms of the rhs of the former equation , we get the neumann s green s function .
if we drop the second term , we need to know both the field and its derivative on the integration surface , which is another way we could proceed .
we choose to use the dirichlet s green s function , however .
now we substitute eq .
( [ 1eq6 ] ) into eq .
( [ 1eq3a ] ) , but how one can justify this substitution , since eq .
( [ 1eq3a ] ) has been derived based on the assumption that the fields are static .
let s check this in the following way : we know if there is a wave field , the eq .
( [ 1eq3 ] ) is replaced with @xmath94 on the other hand , if we consider one frequency and retarded waves only , our field and source can be expressed as @xmath95 } , \nonumber \\
\rho({\vec r},t)=&&\rho({\vec r},t=0)\exp{[-i \omega(t - l / v_f ) ] } , \label{1eq8}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath96 is the distance between the source and observer .
now , substituting this into eq .
( [ 1eq7 ] ) and dividing the resulting equation by @xmath97 we obtain eq .
( [ 1eq1 ] ) .
so if we work with the time fourier transforms of the wave fields and green s functions and assume only one frequency , we are able to make use of the static formulation of the problem using the fourier transform of the green s function we have just given in eq .
( [ 1eq6 ] ) .
the normal derivative of this green s function on the surface defined by the hologram is @xmath98 if the dimensionality d were different ( but @xmath99 ) , our green s function would be modified as @xmath100 , \label{1eq10a}\end{aligned}\ ] ] while for @xmath101 , ( the only meaningful case of an infra space in holography ) is @xmath102 , \label{1eq10aa}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath103 is arbitrarily fixed in order to make the green s function vanish when @xmath104 .
the constant in the former equation is not even important .
now the only thing left to be determined is the reflected field at any given point of the hologram . for scalar waves ,
the phase and amplitude of the reflected wave depends on the phase and amplitude of the reading wave @xmath105 where @xmath106 is the reflected wave , @xmath107 is the reflectivity of the hologram ( it is the hologram data file generated in the previous step ) and @xmath108 is the reading wave ( exactly same as the reference beam in eq .
( [ 1aeq1 ] ) ) . as in the previous section , the field of the wave that hits the screen is @xmath109 } , \label{1eq14}\end{aligned}\ ] ] which we introduce into the eq .
( [ 1eq13 ] ) . in the case of wave fields with several components
, one must use the appropriate relations for the reflection as given in subsection [ s0:form ] .
we incorporate eqs .
( [ 1eq3a ] ) , ( [ 1eq10aa ] ) , ( [ 1eq13 ] ) and ( [ 1eq14 ] ) into a numerical code to compute the reflected fields ( and therefore the intensities in the manner presented in subsection [ s0:form ] ) at any given point of the space . therefore , after reading we obtained the image from the hologram .
in this section we generate a computer code which consider a stationary point - like object of negligible but finite physical size for study . in the simulation we use waves of different types , like scalar , spinor , vector and tensor waves , for creating and reading the hologram in various dimensionality . like any optical procedure @xcite ,
the process of generating and creating the hologram too will give us a blurry picture instead of a single point .
in this section we are empirically studying the dynamics of this blurriness and try to read some physics into it .
for the whole process we assume that the point - like object is situated in a d dimensional space and the hologram is created in a d-1 dimensional space .
the object is separated from the center of the rectangular screen ( whose picture is the actual hologram ) by a distance dd. the sides of the holographic screen are equal and their size is d , and that the line of separation is perpendicular to the screen . there is no need to play with wavelength because it appears in ratios with image width , distance from the screen , and off - centricity .
so for convenience we fixed the wavelength @xmath110 unit and thus wave vector @xmath111 .
the geometrical size of the point is taken as @xmath112 units .
for the numerical integration that is involved in creating and reading the hologram , we divided the screen into several thousands ( @xmath113 ) of equal regions ( pixels ) ; say @xmath114 .
the number of necessary grid - points was estimated as follows : @xmath115=screen size*number of fringes per unit wavelength .
we estimated the size of the fringe , knowing this , we computed the number of fringes per screen size , and placed 10 points per fringe , then , in order to check stability we doubled the number of grid - points and so on .
we played with the parameters ; screen dimensions ( d ) , distance of image centre from the screen ( dd ) , number of grid - points ( @xmath115 ) , directions of reference and object beams and off - central configurations etc ... to see the effect on best possible image of the object .
we also check the effect due to the change in wavelength @xmath116 .
we tabled down the width of image @xmath117 with respect to these parameters . in this work
we consider the simplest case of scalar wave and a point - like object in a two - dimensional ( d=2)-space .
the infra - space hologram thus created is one ( d=1 ) dimensional space .
the direction cosines of the object and reference beams are taken slightly different ; ( @xmath118 ) and ( @xmath119 , respectively . the numerically created hologram of the object
thus is read back in the two - dimensional space .
we noted the image has a sharp peak , centred at @xmath120 units , along x - axis , however it is quite blurred along -ve side of the y - axis , as shown in fig ( [ fig1 ] ) .
no effect in the image width and noise with variation in the distance of object from the screen has been found as shown in the table i. .__empirical study of the parameters in units : @xmath62 v / s @xmath121 . here
@xmath122 units . _
_ [ cols="^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] in the fig .
( [ fig2 ] ) we plot image intensity versus x - width of the image in four panels for @xmath123 units , respectively .
one can see from the figure that the blurriness is minimum for @xmath124 units , in other words the image is focussed at a distance of 10 units .
no change in the x and y coordinates has also been noted as we change the direction of object beam , keeping the direction of reference beam fixed .
however , if we change the direction of reading wave ( @xmath125 ) , keeping the direction cosines of the reference beam fixed ( @xmath126 ) , the peak shifts along x - axis . as shown in the fig .
( [ fig3 ] ) a shift in peak of about @xmath127 along + ve x - axis and about @xmath128 along -ve x - axis have been observed for first and third cases , respectively .
no significant change has been noticed in y - axis . in our simulation , there is no significant variation in the off - axis deviation i.e. non - symmetric position of the object .
at last we also investigated the effect of the wavelength on the image formation .
as shown in the fig .
( [ fig4 ] ) , on the variation of @xmath129 in wavelength there is @xmath130 up - down shift in the peak .
we have also investigated the sensibility of our holographic mapping on the process of changing the wavelength of the reading wave from that of the reference beam , and their direction cosines with a few percent knowing that during experiments this meant destroying the picture .
surprisingly , we did not find this effect in our computations .
the revolution in the holographic principle is now a major focus of attention in many area of science e.g. gravitational research , quantum field theory and elementary particle physics .
a popular account of holography can be found in @xcite . in the present work we discussed a mathematical formalism of creating and reading a hologram , in the most general terms .
we developed holographic theory for various kind of waves : electromagnetic , acoustic , etc .
these waves can propagate in several media , solids , liquids , plasma , etc .
they exhibit a large variety of mathematical structures , such as scalar , spinor , vector and tensor .
the fields that are neither scalar nor fermions , can be abelian or non abelian gauge fields if they are massless , but we also considered the same fields when non - zero mass is added and so the gauge invariance is in part broken . due to the fact that waves are fields , we borrowed many tools from classical field theory , such as green s function formalism , which is very useful for describing the creation of holograms , but it is more important for the understanding of the reading process .
this formalism can be used for waves of arbitrary spin and waves propagating in a medium .
as the formalism applies in any dimensions , we presented some conclusions for hyperspace and for the two - dimensional space , which is the only case of infra - dimensions that makes sense .
we first discussed the massive and massless scalar case , then we justified why this could be generalized for the vector fields , such as the electromagnetic field in the paraxial approximation , and gave a generalized procedure that applies even in the non - paraxial case whether the wave is transversal or longitudinal .
we also extended this generalized procedure for spinors and tensors . in our study we obtained the image of a point - like object , like any optical procedure @xcite , a blurry picture instead of a sharp point .
let us bring to your notice that in our previous work @xcite we have conjectured that the uncertainty in the quantum mechanics is due to the holographic basis of physical reality .
we have argued that for the macro particles ( classical objects ) this fuzziness , noise and wave pattern due to holographic projection are weak and so hard to observe in daily life .
we investigated the aberrations that are due to a reading beam hitting the screen in a slightly different direction that of the reference wave and a slightly different wavelengths , etc .
we measured the width of image so formed and its dependence on the size of the holographic picture , the distance between the screen and the object , the distance of the object from the symmetry axis of the screen , the nature of the mapping and reading wave .
in this work we presented the simplest case of scalar wave and a point - like object in a two - dimensional space .
the infra - space hologram is one dimensional and is read in a two - dimensional space . in the future work we plan to investigate scalar field in @xmath131 and @xmath132 space and the electromagnetic fields with an analogy of the massive case and propagations in a medium , especially in dielectrics and plasmas .
we also plan to describe some possible integrations of the path - integral @xcite formalism into our description .
bcc thanks inter - university centre for astronomy & astrophysics ( iucaa ) pune for the hospitality provided during the preparation of this work .
o. sapozhnikov , a. ponomarev , m. smagin , transient acoustic holography for reconstructing the particle velocity of the surface of an acoustic transducer , acoustical physics 52 , 3 ( 2006 ) : p324 ; w. f. druyvesteyn , r. raangs , acoustic holography with incoherent sources , acta acustica united with acustica 91 , 5 ( 2005 ) : p932 . | arxiv |
recently , charmless three - body decays of @xmath0 mesons have been intensively studied both experimentally and theoretically . on the experimental side ,
dalitz plot analyses of the charged @xmath0 decays were performed by belle @xcite and babar @xcite collaborations .
likewise , several theoretical studies involving the @xmath5 decays have been published @xcite , @xcite and @xcite . since charged kaons interact strongly ,
their long distance interactions in the final states have to be well understood if one aims at extracting weak decay amplitudes from the @xmath0 to @xmath6 decays . in this letter
we go beyond an isobar model parameterization of the @xmath0 decay amplitudes and introduce additional theoretical constraints on the @xmath2-wave two - body @xmath1 interaction amplitudes , which follow , in particular , from unitarity . in order to satisfy unitarity in two - body interactions
we construct scalar strange and non - strange form factors which enter into the @xmath2-wave parts of the decay amplitudes .
these amplitudes are calculated in the framework of the qcd factorization approach . in the construction of form factors we use experimental information on the @xmath1 interactions coming from experiments other than @xmath0 decays , for example from @xmath1 production processes in hadronic collisions or from @xmath7 reactions .
we apply also some low - energy constraints coming from the chiral perturbation theory .
preliminary results of our analysis concerning the @xmath5 reactions can be found in ref .
@xcite . in section
2 we formulate the theoretical model of the @xmath8 and @xmath9 decay amplitudes .
presentation of results and their comparison with the experimental data are given in sec .
our conclusions are presented in sec .
inspection of the dalitz plots of the belle @xcite and babar @xcite experiments reveals an accumulation of events for the @xmath1 effective masses below 1.8 gev . indeed ,
several mesonic resonances which can decay into the @xmath1 pairs exist in this range @xcite . among them
there are scalar and vector resonances which are formed via the @xmath2- and @xmath10-wave final state interactions . in the first approximation one can neglect their interaction with the third kaon .
this justifies using the qcd quasi - two - body factorization approach for the limited range of the effective @xmath11 masses ( see , for example ref .
the @xmath12 amplitude is then expressed in terms of the following matrix element of the weak effective hamiltonian @xmath13 : @xmath14 where the @xmath2-wave part is @xmath15 the @xmath10-wave part is @xmath16\big\}4\overrightarrow{p}_1 \cdot \overrightarrow{p}_2 \end{split}\ ] ] and the interacting kaons are taken to be kaons 2 and 3 . furthermore , @xmath17 is the square of the @xmath18 effective mass @xmath19 , while @xmath20 and @xmath21 are the kaon 1 and kaon 2 momenta in the center of mass system of the kaons 2 and 3 .
the scalar product of the kaon momenta can be written in terms of the helicity angle @xmath22 : @xmath23 in these equations @xmath24 is the fermi coupling constant , @xmath25 gev and @xmath26 gev are the kaon and the @xmath27 meson decay constants , @xmath28 , @xmath29 , @xmath30 gev , @xmath31 gev , @xmath32 gev and @xmath33 gev are the masses of the @xmath0 meson , kaon , @xmath34-quark , strange quark , down- and up - quarks , respectively . the functions @xmath35 and @xmath36 , present in the @xmath2-wave amplitude in eq .
( [ as ] ) , are the kaon non - strange and strange scalar form factors .
the vector form factors @xmath37 ( for @xmath38 and @xmath39 ) , introduced in eq .
( [ ap ] ) , are defined through matrix elements @xmath40 where @xmath41 is the vacuum state .
the @xmath1 pair in the @xmath2-wave is then denoted by @xmath42 .
similarly @xmath43 stands for the @xmath10-state .
furthermore @xmath44 in eq . (
[ as ] ) is the form factor of the transition from the @xmath0 meson to the @xmath1 pair in the @xmath2-state , @xmath45 is the constant related to the decay of the @xmath46 state into two kaons , and @xmath47 , where @xmath48 is the pion mass .
we take @xmath49 @xcite and we fit @xmath45 to the data .
functions @xmath50 and @xmath51 are the @xmath52 scalar and vector transition form factors and @xmath53 @xcite is the @xmath54 transition form factor . in our approximation ,
the ratio @xmath55 represents a general factor related to the transition from @xmath9 to any @xmath56 state and then its decay into the final @xmath1 pair . for the case of the @xmath27 meson this coupling to the pair of kaons
is effectively realized only above the @xmath1 threshold .
the weak decay amplitudes depend on qcd factorization coefficients @xmath57 and on the products @xmath58 , @xmath59 , where @xmath60 are the ckm quark - mixing matrix elements . in order to describe @xmath0 decay into mesons @xmath61 and @xmath62
we follow ref .
@xcite and calculate the coefficients @xmath63 at the next - to - leading order in the strong coupling constant at the renomalization scale equal to @xmath64 . here
the @xmath61 meson has a common spectator quark with the decaying @xmath0 meson . in the case of
the @xmath12 decays , @xmath61 or @xmath62 can be either kaon @xmath65 , or systems @xmath66 , @xmath67 .
we take into account one - loop vertex and penguin corrections to @xmath68 but neglect those due to hard scattering or the annihilation since they are expected to be generally suppressed . in the qcd factorization approach
they receive logarithmically divergent contributions due to soft gluon interaction which are `` unavoidably model dependent '' ( see ref .
we treat such soft interactions by introducing the form factors constrained by data on meson - meson interactions , taken from analyses of reactions other than the @xmath0 decays . under these conditions we have @xmath69 , with their common value denoted below by @xmath70 .
we also use the abbreviations : @xmath71 and @xmath72 .
the values of coefficients @xmath68 are given in table [ tab1 ] .
in terms of the quantities introduced above one defines : @xmath73 + \\
\lambda_c\big[a_{4y}^c+ a_{10y}^c-(a_{6y}^c+a_{8y}^c)r_{\chi}^k\big ] , \end{split}\ ] ] where @xmath74 @xmath75 @xmath76+\lambda_c\big[a_{3w } + a_{5w}-\dfrac{1}{2}(a_{7w}+a_{9w})\big ] , % \end{split}\ ] ] @xmath77 + \\
\lambda_c\big[a_{3w}+a_{4w}^c+ a_{5w}-\dfrac{1}{2}(a_{7w}+a_{9w}+a_{10w}^c)\big ] , \end{split}\ ] ] and @xmath78 one can notice that in the expressions for the decay amplitudes there are no transitions to the @xmath1 states of spin 2 or higher .
this results from the application of the factorization approach in which matrix elements to spin states higher than one vanish .
the contribution of @xmath79 with its rather small branching fraction to @xmath80 ( 4.6 % ) is thus not included in this study .
since two identical charged kaons appear in the final state of the @xmath12 decay , the amplitude of eq .
( [ a ] ) has to be symmetrized @xmath81 .
\end{split}\ ] ] the symmetrized amplitude for the @xmath82 reaction reads @xmath83 the final state kaon - kaon @xmath2-wave interactions are dynamically coupled with systems consisting of two and four pions .
thus a system of three coupled channels : @xmath84 and @xmath85 ( effective @xmath86 or @xmath87 , @xmath88 etc . ) , labelled by @xmath89 is considered in the construction of scalar form factors @xmath35 and @xmath36 .
here we use an approach initiated in @xcite and recently developed in @xcite for the @xmath90 decays .
a set of the 3x3 transition amplitudes @xmath91 , describing all possible transitions between the three channels , is taken from a unitary model of ref .
@xcite ( solution @xmath92 ) .
we introduce two kinds of production functions @xmath93 , labeled by @xmath94 ( non - strange ) or by @xmath39 ( strange ) : @xmath95 where @xmath96 and @xmath97 are constant parameters , while @xmath98 represents the total energy and is related to the center of mass momenta @xmath99 , with @xmath100 , @xmath101 , @xmath102 mev , and @xmath103 .
the three scalar form factors , written in the compact row matrix form @xmath104 , are given by @xmath105 where @xmath106 are rows of the production functions and @xmath107 is the matrix of the green s functions multiplied by the convergence factors @xmath108 .
these factors , which reduce to unity on shell ( @xmath109 ) , make finite the relevant integrals over the intermediate momenta @xmath110 .
the parameter @xmath111 will be fitted to the data of the babar @xcite and belle @xcite collaborations . for both the non - strange and strange form factors we also constrain their low energy behaviour using the chiral perturbation model of refs .
@xcite . at low @xmath39 values
one writes the following expansion : @xmath112 with real coefficients @xmath113 and @xmath114 .
explicit formulae for the set of non - strange form factors , in particular for the @xmath115 presented in eq .
( [ as ] ) , are given in eqs .
( 24 - 35 ) of ref . @xcite . for the strange form factors we have @xmath116,\ ] ] @xmath117,\ ] ] and @xmath118 @xmath119 in these equations @xmath120 is the @xmath121 meson mass , @xmath122 is the scale of the dimensional regularization and @xmath123 . using @xmath124 mev and the chiral perturbation theory constants
@xmath125 , @xmath126 , given in table x of ref .
@xcite , we obtain the non - strange - sector parameters : @xmath127 , @xmath128 gev@xmath129 , @xmath130 and @xmath131 gev@xmath129 and their strange - sector counterparts : @xmath132 , @xmath133 gev@xmath129 , @xmath134 and @xmath135 gev@xmath129 . for the form factors related to the third channel at low energies we make the simplest assumptions @xmath136 , as in ref
. @xcite .
the coefficients @xmath137 and @xmath138 are constrained by the values of the form factors at low energies .
they are calculated using the low energy expansion of eq .
( [ macg ] ) and are listed in table [ tab.a.tal.omega ] .
the parameter @xmath97 , which controls the high energy behaviour of @xmath139 , is fixed while fitting the data .
our scalar form factors satisfy the following unitarity conditions : @xmath140 where @xmath141 is the diagonal matrix of the kinematical coefficients which are proportional to the channel momenta @xmath142 in the center of mass frame : @xmath143 [ cols="^,^,^,^,^,^,^ " , ]
partial wave analysis of the decay amplitudes helps in the investigation of the density distributions in the dalitz diagrams . in eqs .
( [ as],[ap ] ) we have defined the @xmath2- and @xmath10- wave amplitudes to which the double differential @xmath144 branching fraction @xmath145 is related through the symmetrized amplitude @xmath146 of eq .
( [ asym ] ) : @xmath147 here @xmath148 is the total width of the @xmath9 meson and the kaon momenta are : @xmath149 @xmath150\left[m_b^2-\left(m_{23}-m_k\right)^2\right]}.\ ] ] the helicity angle @xmath22 is kinematically related to the effective mass @xmath151 of the @xmath152 system : @xmath153.\ ] ] due to the symmetry of the dalitz plot density under the exchange of the kaons @xmath154 and @xmath155 , one can define the effective mass @xmath156 distribution integrated over the @xmath151 masses larger than @xmath156 : @xmath157 where @xmath158 corresponds to the value of @xmath159 in eq .
( [ costetah ] ) with @xmath160 .
the helicity angle distribution @xmath161 can be obtained from eq .
( [ d2br ] ) by integration over the specific range of the effective mass @xmath156 .
our aim is to describe the data of the belle @xcite and babar @xcite collaborations in one common fit .
the data chosen by us include the total branching fraction for the decay @xmath162 $ ] , the averaged effective mass distributions @xmath163 for @xmath156 smaller than 1.8 gev , and the averaged helicity angle distribution @xmath164 for @xmath165 gev .
the distributions of the @xmath5 events are obtained from the published data by subtraction of the background components .
the total number of data points for ten plots from both collaborations is equal to 175 .
the theoretical distributions are normalized to the total number of experimental events corresponding to each data set . in our fit
we used the averaged @xmath162 $ ] branching fraction equal to @xmath166 @xcite .
there are four fitted parameters : @xmath167 and @xmath168 .
the first three parameters are related to the @xmath2-wave decay amplitudes and the fourth one , @xmath168 , is the common @xmath10-wave normalization constant by which the amplitudes @xmath169 and @xmath170 are multiplied .
varies within its error band.,scaledwidth=45.0% ] we have performed the fit to the 176 data points obtaining the total value of @xmath171 equal to 343 and the following parameters : @xmath172 gev@xmath173 , @xmath174 gev , @xmath175 gev@xmath176 and @xmath177 . for @xmath178 we obtain the averaged @xmath162 $ ] branching fraction equal to 3.73@xmath179 which is within one standard deviation from the experimental value of @xmath166 .
one sees that the absolute normalization of the @xmath10 wave is very close to 1 which means that the decay amplitudes calculated in our model are adequate .
our value of @xmath45 parametrizes a large range of @xmath11 effective mass up to 1.8 gev and not just the region of @xmath180 .
therefore it can not be directly compared with the value given in ref .
in addition , the estimate of @xmath45 given in eq .
( 18 ) of @xcite involves the coupling constant of @xmath180 to @xmath181 while here we have coupling to @xmath182 .
using @xmath183 from ref .
@xcite , a very rough estimate similar to that given in ref .
@xcite leads to @xmath184 [email protected] @xmath111 parameter was not used in ref .
@xcite where only the on - shell contributions to the form factors were taken into account .
the value of @xmath185 gev@xmath173 is reasonably larger than the typical @xmath186 mass considered .
we have also done an analogous fit to the data using the three @xmath10-wave form factors based on the parameterization of ref .
@xcite obtaining similar values of parameters as those written above , however with a higher @xmath171 value of 354 .
1 shows the moduli of scalar form factors @xmath187 and @xmath188 which determine the functional dependence of the @xmath2-wave amplitudes on the @xmath1 effective mass .
there are two prominent maxima of both form factors , one related to the @xmath180 resonance and the second one forming cusps due to the opening of the third channel at 1400 mev ( in the present model responsible effectively for the production of four pions ) .
presence of @xmath180 leads to the threshold enhancement of the @xmath2-wave amplitude .
this effect can be directly studied in high statistics experiment with a very good effective @xmath1 mass resolution of about 1 mev and should be seen only a few mev above the threshold . effective mass distributions from the fit to babar experimental data @xcite in the @xmath3 range ( a ) and between 1.05 gev and 1.8 gev ( b ) .
theoretical results are shown as solid line in ( a ) and as histogram in ( b).,scaledwidth=45.0% ] in fig .
2 the @xmath1 effective mass distributions are shown for two mass ranges and for the data from the babar collaboration . at low @xmath189 the spectrum
is influenced by the @xmath10-wave amplitude and dominated by the @xmath3 resonance . above 1.05 gev
the @xmath2-wave amplitude is much more important than the @xmath10-wave one . according to our analysis which uses the approach of refs @xcite
, the experimental maximum near 1.5 gev can be attributed to the @xmath190 found therein in solution @xmath92 .
we recall that in ref .
@xcite the coupling constant of the @xmath191 decay to @xmath192 is much smaller than the corresponding coupling to @xmath181 .
let us notice that the model distribution depends on the sharp @xmath85 threshold located at @xmath193 gev which in reality should be smoothed out by the four - body pion interactions not taken into account in this quasi - two - body approximation .
effective mass distributions from the fit to belle experimental data @xcite ( a ) for @xmath194 gev@xmath195 , ( b ) for @xmath196 gev@xmath197 gev@xmath195 , ( c ) for @xmath198 gev@xmath199 gev@xmath195 , ( d ) for @xmath200 gev@xmath201 gev@xmath195 and ( e ) for @xmath202 gev@xmath203 .
theoretical results are shown as histograms.,scaledwidth=45.0% ] we have also studied the belle @xcite @xmath1 effective mass spectra and found that the quality of their description is similar to that shown in fig . 2 for the babar data .
3 shows a more detailed comparison of the @xmath189 theoretical distributions with the belle data @xcite , with events grouped in five ranges of @xmath151 which is the other combination of the @xmath1 effective masses .
one observes an overall general agreement of theoretical histograms with experiment , with some surplus of experimental events in fig .
3e for the case of the highest slice of @xmath151 ( larger than 20 gev@xmath195 ) where our model is not fully applicable due to the proximity of the dalitz plot edge .
effective mass up to 1.05 gev .
the dashed line represents the @xmath2-wave contribution of our model , the dotted line - that of the @xmath10-wave , the dot - dashed - that of the interference term and the solid line corresponds to the sum of these contributions.,scaledwidth=40.0% ] finally , in fig .
4 we present the helicity angle distribution in the @xmath1 mass range dominated by the @xmath3 resonance . without the @xmath2-wave component of the decay amplitude the distribution should be symmetric with respect to @xmath204 .
however , we observe an interference effect which distorts the distribution . this is a direct evidence of a non - zero part of the @xmath2-wave present even under the huge peak of the @xmath3 resonance . a theoretical integration of the @xmath2-wave contribution to the spectrum in the @xmath189 range from threshold till 1.05 gev leads to about 12% relative branching fraction .
it corresponds to the average branching fraction of @xmath205 which is in agreement with the experimental upper bound of @xmath206 found in ref .
this agrees also with the babar estimate @xmath207 of the @xmath2-wave fraction in the region of masses between 1.013 and 1.027 gev @xcite . in the range of the @xmath11
effective mass from 1200 to 1800 mev , which might be relevant for the @xmath208 discussed in ref .
@xcite , the @xmath4 averaged branching fraction corresponding to the @xmath209wave is equal to @xmath210 which is larger than the total contribution of the @xmath211 resonance .
we have also studied the @xmath4 violation effects comparing the magnitudes of the decay amplitudes of the @xmath9 and @xmath8 decays .
while the moduli of the @xmath10-wave amplitudes for these charge conjugated decays are rather similar , the @xmath2-wave amplitudes behave differently indicating an important @xmath4 violation effect which depends on the @xmath189 range . for the @xmath2-wave parameters written above , starting from the @xmath1 threshold up to about 1.4 gev , the modulus of the @xmath8 @xmath2-wave amplitude is larger than the corresponding modulus of the @xmath9 amplitude .
then , above 1.4 gev , the @xmath9 moduli become larger than the @xmath8 ones .
defining the @xmath4 asymmetry as @xmath212 one gets very large asymmetries if one takes into account solely the contribution of the @xmath2-wave .
for example , @xmath213 gev@xmath214 , @xmath215 gev@xmath216 , @xmath217 gev@xmath218 , and @xmath219 gev@xmath220 ( here the superscript @xmath2 stands for the @xmath2- wave asymmetry ) .
when the @xmath10-wave is included then the @xmath4 asymmetry is reduced to : @xmath221 gev@xmath222 , @xmath223 gev@xmath224 , @xmath225 gev@xmath226 and @xmath227 gev @xmath228 .
let us note a particularly small asymmetry in the range of the @xmath229 resonance , where the @xmath10-wave amplitude dominates , and an inversion of the @xmath230 sign above 1.4 gev . due to cancellations between the ranges of the negative and positive asymmetries
the resulting @xmath4 asymmetry averaged over the @xmath189 range from threshold up to 1.8 gev is rather small , equal to -0.05 .
the averaged branching fraction for the same mass range equals to @xmath231 .
it is worthwhile to add that the @xmath2-wave gives to it the dominant contribution of @xmath232 .
we have studied final state interactions between kaons in the @xmath5 decays .
an overall general agreement with the belle and babar data has been obtained .
our formalism is based on the qcd factorization supplemented with the inclusion of the long distance @xmath1 interactions .
the latter are taken into account through the functional dependence of the scalar and vector form factors on the effective @xmath1 masses .
a unitary model is constructed for the scalar non - strange and strange form factors in which three scalar resonances @xmath233 , @xmath180 and @xmath190 are naturally incorporated .
the scalar resonance @xmath180 leads to the threshold enhancement of the @xmath2-wave @xmath1 amplitude .
the @xmath1 structure seen near 1.5 gev can be attributed to the third scalar resonance .
a potentially large @xmath4 asymmetry is obtained in the mass spectrum dominated by the @xmath2-wave .
it originates from violent phase variations of the two kaon scalar form factors which affect the @xmath1 effective mass dependence of the @xmath209wave decay amplitudes . in general
one can best study this effect away from the @xmath3 peak .
we have shown , however , that even under the @xmath229 maximum one observes nonnegligible helicity angle asymmetry .
this effect originates from the interference between the @xmath2- and @xmath10- waves .
our approach presented here for the @xmath5 decays can be extended to study the @xmath234 reactions for which results of the time - dependent dalitz analyses have been recently published by the babar @xcite and belle @xcite collaborations . for further studies of
the charged @xmath0 decays new experimental data with better statistics are needed .
such data already exist ! for example , the belle collaboration has now five times larger data sample than that used in their publication @xcite analysed by us here .
future results from lhcb and from super - b factories would also be very useful .
this work has been supported in part by the polish ministry of science and higher education ( grant no .
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NEC's Earth Simulator System announced the details of a recent series of system upgrades. The upgrades bumped the total system performance from the original 35Tflops to 131Tflops. Most impressive was the Linpack efficiency. The newly revised Earth Simulator was able to achieve 93.38% efficiency, or 122.4Tflops out of a possible 131 on its Linpack run. According to the current Top500 list, this makes it the most efficienct system in the world.
The Earth Simulator is used by the Japan Agency for Marine Earth Science and Technology for predicting developments in global warming and other meteorological computations. For more info, read the full article here. | slim_pajama |
The 197576 New York Nets season was the ninth and final season of ABA basketball on Long Island. The Nets won their second ABA Championship.
Off-season
ABA Draft
Exhibition games
On October 4, 1975, the Nets played their first exhibition game of the season, facing the Washington Bullets of the NBA in the Capital Center in Landover, Maryland. Julius Erving scored 36 points to lead the Nets, but the Bullets managed a one-point victory, 109108.
The Nets faced the New York Knicks on October 8 in Uniondale, New York. The Nets prevailed, 110104.
On October 11 the Nets ventured to Buffalo, New York, to face the Buffalo Braves on the Braves' home court. 15,000 fans attended the game. Erving was held to 16 points, but the Nets won by a large margin, 10983.
The Nets traveled to New Haven, Connecticut, on October 14 to play the Washington Bullets for the second time in the preseason. The Nets avenged their loss of ten days earlier, winning 122114.
The very next day, on October 15, the Golden State Warriors took the court against the Nets in Uniondale. Erving led the Nets with 43 points but Rick Barry had 49 for Golden State as the Warriors won, 119114.
Two days later the Nets traveled to Seton Hall for a rematch with the Buffalo Braves on October 17. The Nets won again, 11797.
The next day, October 18, saw the Nets play their final ABA vs. NBA exhibition game as they took the court at Madison Square Garden to again face the New York Knicks. Julius Erving scored 33 points and hit a jump shot at the buzzer to win the game for the Nets, 103101.
The Nets finished their ABA tenure with a record of 15 wins and 9 losses against NBA teams in exhibition games. The Nets went 20 against the NBA before the 197172 season, 03 before 197273, 41 prior to the 197374 campaign, 43 before the 197475 season and 52 before the 197576 season. Overall, the ABA went 7976 in the interleague matchups, faring poorly at first but going 6234 in the last three years of the league.
Regular season
Season standings
Schedule
Player stats
Note: GP= Games played; MIN= Minutes; STL= Steals; REB = Rebounds; ASST = Assists; BLK = Blocks; PTS = Points
Playoffs
Semifinals vs. San Antonio Spurs
Nets win series 43
ABA Finals vs. Denver Nuggets
Nets win series 42
This is to date the last title the Nets have won.
Awards, Records and Honors
Julius Erving, Finals MVP
References
New York Nets on Basketball Reference
New York Nets
Category:New Jersey Nets seasons
Category:American Basketball Association championship seasons
New York
New York | wikipedia |
Varis is both a surname and a given name. Notable people with the name include:
Surname:
Agnes Varis 19302011, American businesswoman
Kaisa Varis born 1975, Finnish cross-country skier and biathlete
Pekka Varis, Finnish ski-orienteer
Petri Varis born 1969, Finnish ice hockey player
Given name:
Varis Brasla born 1939, Latvian film director
See also
Varis, a treatment planning system by Varian Medical Systems
Vari disambiguation
Varys, a fictional character from the A Song of Ice and Fire series and Game of Thrones
Category:Finnish-language surnames
Category:Latvian masculine given names | wikipedia |
Are there acid/base processes in aqueous solution that are so slow that they are kinetically controlled?
This question came up in figuring out what the fundamental differences are between redox chemistry and acid/base chemistry (if any).
In redox chemistry, strong oxidants and strong reductants can co-exist in solution because they react slowly with each other (or not at all). An example from biology is a low NADH/NAD+ ratio in the same compartment as a high NADPH/NADP+ ratio.
Are there substances that act as acid or base that are far from equilibrium in aqueous solution for a long (minute, hours) time period? Or are all acid/base reactions in aqueous solution fast and reach equilibrium within seconds?
Since water is a protic solvent, the predominant form of aqueous acid-base reactions involve proton transfer and that mechanism tends to be quite fast.
But not always.
Most readers are familiar with the use of phenolphthalein as an indicator for titrating acid solutions with a strong base such as sodium hydroxide. When the acid is neutralized, the next increment of sodium hydroxide deprotonates the phenolphthalein molecules and they rapidly turn pink/fuchsia. We proceed to record the data, unaware that with too much additional sodium hydroxide the phenolphthalein color may fade.
That is the slow reaction, for instead of a relatively rapid proton transfer this excess stage is a much slower nucleophilic addition of hydroxide ions to the deprotonated phenolphthalein. From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenolphthalein):
>
> The lactone form (H2In) is colorless between strongly acidic and slightly basic conditions. The doubly deprotonated (In2-) phenolate form (the anion form of phenol) gives the familiar pink color. In strongly basic solutions, phenolphthalein is converted to its In(OH)3− form, and its pink color undergoes a rather slow fading reaction[[1](https://doi.org/10.1016/S1386-1425(00)00371-1)] and becomes completely colorless when pH is greater than 13.
>
>
>
How slow is "rather slow" is indicated in the educational article by [González-Arjona et al.[2]](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/336362530_Primary_Kinetic_Salt_Effect_on_Fading_of_Phenolphthalein_in_Strong_Alkaline_Media_Experimental_Design_for_a_Single_Lab_Session). The table below, taken from this reference, indicates that the second-order rate constant for the nucleophilic reaction is about $0.02\text{ mol}^{-1}\text{ s}^{-1}$.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/vN37t.jpg)
At pH $13$ we multiply by $0.1\text{ M}$ hydroxide ion concentration to get a pseudo-first order constant of $0.002\text{ s}^{-1}$, so the time constant here is about $500$ seconds — certainly long enough for kinetic control and convenient for laboratory kinetic measurements.
So if you want to use phenolphthalein indicator for a chemically inspired "It's a girl!" reveal, sodium hydroxide is not the best base to set off the color reveal. A small amount of milk of magnesia in water has the optimal pH to make the pink color but not set off the slow fading reaction.
**Reference**
1. Kunimoto, Ko-Ki (February 2001). "Molecular structure and vibrational spectra of phenolphthalein and its dianion". *Spectrochimica Acta Part A*. **57** (2): 265–271. Bibcode:2001AcSpA..57..265K. doi:10.1016/S1386-1425(00)00371-1. PMID 11206560.
2. González-Arjona, D. & Domínguez, Manuel & López-Pérez, German & Mulder, Willem. (2019). "Primary Kinetic Salt Effect on Fading of Phenolphthalein in Strong Alkaline Media: Experimental Design for a Single Lab Session". *The Chemical Educator*. **24**. 126-132.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries 1. Bill Regresa
**Disclaimer: Los personajes y algunas de sus relaciones son de Charlaine Harris. La historia salió de mi mente siniestra**
**Dedicado a mi querida amiga Frikkii_K para que babosee conmigo por Eric. **
Había sido un turno de lo más normal, Jason acaba de llevarse a unas chicas que iban de paso, de fiesta a su casa.
- Solo ten cuidado – le advertí. "Tengo un millón de condones" pensó
- Por supuesto que me cuido hermanita – me dio un beso en la mejilla y se dio media vuelta. Inmediatamente comencé a cantar en mi mente el himno de Estados Unidos, no quería saber en que posición pondría a esas chicas – Adiós Sam, cuida a mi hermana – oí que gritó. Sam se acercó a mí
- ¿Quieres que te vaya a dejar? – me preguntó Sam cerrando ya la caja
- Estoy bien, tengo que pasar primero a la casa de Bill, me pidió que le buscara unas cosas – le sonreí. Iba a ser una semana desde que mi novio Bill había viajado a Missisipi – luego se las debo llevar a Eric a Fangtasia
- ¿Estás segura que vas sola?
- No te preocupes Sam, en serio
- Sabes que ese jefe de Bill no me gusta
- ¿Eric? – dije mientras automáticamente se venía la imagen del rubio vikingo a mi mente – no es el jefe… es solo… el sheriff – Sam me miró levantando una ceja – ok, si, es su jefe – admití – no te preocupes Sam estaré bien
Salí de Merlotte's directo a la casa de Bill, ni siquiera quise pasa a la mía por miedo a que se me hiciera demasiado tarde. Estaba agotada y luego de ir a Fangtasia me iría a dormir plácidamente, para aprovechar el día siguiente: mi esperado día libre. Cuando llegué a Fangtasia, el bar ya estaba en su máximo funcionamiento. Pam me saludó al entrar como siempre, una mezcla de deseo e incomprensión, era una expresión que no se repetía con otros humanos.
Pasé hacia la oficina de Eric, iba aún con el uniforme de Merlotte's: una polera, short y zapatillas negras, además de llevar mi pelo recogido en una cola de caballo. Aún sin ir demasiado provocativa, según yo, me gané la mirada lasciva de algunos vampiros y pensamientos indecentes de alguno de los colmilleros que andaban por ahí "ese culo, esas piernas" "mmm esa debe ser la puta del dueño" "y a mi que me gustan tanto las rubias" ok, esa última era una mujer. Subí las barreras mentales. Ser telepata, solo me había traído problemas en mi vida, por eso no había podido tener un novio hasta la llegada de Bill, que de pasada, no era la relación más normal del mundo. Bueno, una relación diferente, totalmente asimétrica… De Vampiro a Humano.
- Sookie – me nombró Eric con la voz profunda y sensual que lo caracterizaba a penas levantando la vista del periódico – te estaba esperando – cuando me vio, apareció esa mirada. Una mirada de hambre, de lujuria que me daba miedo y a la vez me calentaba de sobremanera. – te ves… deliciosa – terminó la frase poniéndose en un segundo detrás de mí. Cerré los ojos para intentar concentrarme en mi respiración
- Aquí están los papeles – le pasé la carpeta mirándolo seria, él la recibió sin dejar de mirarme – ¿no los vas a revisar?
- Por favor – hizo hacia atrás una silla para que yo me sentara, así lo hice antes que mis piernas me traicionaran – ¿cómo has estado? ¿Cómo va tu trabajo de camarera?
- Perfecto – respondí rápido
- Sabes que acá podrías ganar mucho mejor, por menos trabajo
- Estoy bien en Merlotte's, gracias por el ofrecimiento Eric, pero creo que es suficiente con que tengas a mi novio de esclavo como para que quieras tenerme a mi también
- Bill no es mi esclavo, él solo trabaja para la Reina de Louisiana… tu… tu si quieres puedes ser mi esclava Sookie – me sonrió sacando los colmillos. No sabía lo condenadamente sexy que se veía así, o si… probablemente lo sabía, por eso mismo lo hacía, para provocarme. Estaba segura que incluso en la puerta del bar podían escuchar mi corazón latir
- Creo que mejor me voy – dije parándome, pero en una velocidad típica de ellos Eric me interrumpió el paso
- No te vas a ninguna parte a menos que yo diga que puedes irte
- Yo no soy tuya Eric
- Lo sé – respondió él con un poco de furia – eres de él – recordé como Bill lo había remarcado muchas veces "Sookie es mía". No era de Bill tampoco no era de nadie! Odiaba ser tratada como un simple objeto
- No soy de nadie, detesto que hagan eso
- Escúchame Sookie, tu eres de él… pero puedes dejar de serlo cuando quieras – sus colmillos volvieron a aparecer en una sonrisa totalmente lujuriosa, se me erizaron todos los pelos cuando sentí las yemas de sus dedos recorrer mis brazos, desde mi muñeca hasta mis hombros, para luego descansar ahí sus gigantescas manos. Lo miré a los ojos – cuando quieras – me repitió como si tratara de hipnotizarme – he bebido tu sangre, has bebido la mía… tenemos esa conexión especial Sookie- su boca se acercó a mi. Sentía como mi entrepierna comenzaba a quemar. El sentir su cercanía, me hacía desear esas manos tocando mi cuerpo, sus dedos dentro de mí – sé lo que te provoco… sé que me deseas tanto como yo a ti - su aliento, sus ojos que no salían de los míos y una de sus manos descendiendo por mi espalda hasta posarse en mi cintura. Mi respiración se estaba acelerando, mi corazón se saldría de mi pecho en cualquier momento. Tragué con dificultad – si tú me dices que sí, yo no debo responder ante nadie – cuando sus labios estuvieron a menos de un centímetro de la mía, me preguntó – vamos, ¿que dices? – lo que bastó para hacerme caer en cuenta
Me voy – dije tomando control de mi cuerpo – espero esos papeles sean suficientes – cerré la puerta tras de mi, preguntándome directamente hasta donde llegaría ese autocontrol. Vamos Bill, REGRESA!
2. Capítulo 2: Vínculo de Sangre
**Capítulo 2: Vinculo de Sangre**
Tal como yo creía, Eric no lo dejaría así. Pasaron exactamente de dos días, cuando el mismo Bill me hizo una llamada.
- Sookie, ¿estás bien?
- Si, Bill, ¿tu? ¿Cuando vuelves? Te extraño! – las palabras se atropellaban.
- Yo también Sook, pero esta misión se alarga más y más. Ahora necesito de ti
- Otra vez, ¿Eric?
- ¿Como lo sabes?
- Lo sospeché – me resigné
- Sucedió algo? Sookie, ¿Eric te hizo algo?
- No Bill, no ha sucedido nada – "aunque a veces rogara porque ese maldito Vampiro me tocara" sacudí mi cabeza limpiando mis pensamientos – que debo llevar ahora?
- En realidad Eric te acompañará mañana, es para Sophie Anne – Sophie Anne, la Reina de Louisiana. Cada vez que me relacionaba con ella tenía algún tipo de problema. Rogaba que esta vez fuese la excepción. Entendía de alguna manera porque Eric debía resguardarme, si era para la Reina, era importante. Sin embargo, si Bill hubiese sabido la fuerte tensión sexual que existía entre Eric y yo, lo hubiese pensado dos veces. – te amo, tengo que irme
- Está bien, Yo también te amo – respondí demasiado tarde porque Bill ya había colgado el teléfono. No alcancé a bajar el brazo cuando nuevamente sonó, esta vez era él.
- Sookie, como sabes….
- Si lo sé – lo interrumpí
- Ok, te recojo en Merlotte's a las 7
- Necesito cambiarme ropa, voy donde la Reina
- Tienes razón, te recojo en Merlotte's a las 7 – y me cortó estipulando precisamente lo que yo quería evitar: Eric Northman aquí, en mi casa, aunque perfectamente podía ser una maleducada, consciente de mis debilidades y dejarlo esperando afuera mientras me arreglaba. Perfecto, ese era el plan.
Al otro día Jason llegó temprano, tomamos desayuno y luego me aventó al trabajo, ya que mi adorado cacharro estaba en reparación en la casa Fontberry. Hoyt, el mejor amigo de mi hermano, se había ofrecido para arreglarlo sin costo para mí. Fue un día de locos, Arlene faltó porque su hijo Cody estaba enfermo y no tenía quien lo cuidara. Así que Lafayette, Sam, mi mejor amiga Tara y yo, nos hicimos cargo del bar el resto del día. Eric llegó con 15 minutos de adelanto y se sentó en una de mis mesas.
-Faltan 15 minutos – aclaré a penas lo vi
- No te he dicho nada, solo quiero una True Blood
- Que tipo?
- O negativo – maldito arrogante. Si no fuera tan guapo, pensaría en molerle su jodida hermosa cara de un puñetazo. Sin embargo, la única razón por la cual no lo había hecho, era porque era un vampiro de unos mil años. Calenté la sangre, mientras sentía como Sam me observaba y luego a Eric, que no dejaba de mirarme. Me sentía como una chuleta frente al perro más hambriento, y me provocaba unos escalofríos, de pura lujuria. Al término de mi turno, me despedí de mis compañeros y salí detrás de Eric. A veces era un soñado caballero, otras, como ahora, un real patán. Cuando llegamos a mi casa, Eric se bajó de su Corvette y yo también, su sorpresa fue cuando yo entré a mi casa y él no pudo.
- Sookie, tienes que invitarme a entrar – me dijo en tono sarcástico, como si estuviese hablando con una tonta
- Lo sé, por eso no lo he hecho – vi como su cara se desfiguraba y en el momento que comenzaba a disfrutarlo, oí unos pensamientos confusos cerca. Había un cambiaformas rodeando mi casa, miré a Eric, quien lo olió inmediatamente y sacó sus colmillos quedando lo más dentro de la casa que podía, solo a un par de centímetros de donde yo me había detenido.
- Sookie, invítame a entrar – me ordenó sacando los colmillos y sin perder la panorámica detrás de mí – no estoy jugando, invítame a entrar – me repitió esta vez furioso, de manera que bajo ninguna circunstancia podría haberme negado
- Entra Eric – dije llena de miedo, en un segundo estaba dentro de la casa. Podía ver como su cuerpo se había puesto alerta, listo para la lucha. Yo iba tras él, protegiéndome. De pronto, sentí un huracán de pensamientos dentro de mi cabeza que solo alcanzaron a advertir que me volteara para recibir a un enorme lobo abalanzándose sobre mi y otro sobre Eric.
El que atacó a Eric, no alcanzó a rozarlo siquiera porque el vampiro fue más rápido y lo lanzó lejos azotándolo contra la vidriera de la cocina. Pero el otro, se lanzó directo a mí y no tuve la fuerza ni la rapidez necesaria para esquivarlo, por lo tanto alcanzó a morderme un brazo. Eric, inmediatamente lo agarró del cuello y mientras lo asfixiaba, el cambiaformas comenzó a transformarse en humano y pronto tuve a un hombre desnudo frente a mí.
-Dime quien te envió – le ordenó Eric, mientras yo intentaba por todos los medios de no llorar de dolor, a la vez que me cercioraba vía telepatía, que el otro cambiaformas estaba muerto. Había sido demasiado fácil. – si me lo dices tendrás tu única oportunidad de vivir.
- No puedo – respondió él y Eric apretó con más fuerza, de pronto vi que el tipo ya no reaccionaba
- Lo mataste! – grité
- Solo está desmayado, tiempo suficiente – cargó al tipo hacia una de las habitaciones mientras yo lo seguía tratando de cortar la hemorragia de mi brazo. El maldito probablemente había atacado mi vena para que Eric perdiera su control sobre mí, pero él no sabía que Eric, aún con todo lo que despreciaba a los humanos, tenía más autocontrol que nadie. Sobretodo hablando de mi, ya que le era de mayor utilidad… eso me frustraba, ¿Que tanto me desearía él, si yo fuera una camarera común y corriente, que no tuviera el don de la telepatía? Amarró al hombre a la cama y luego me acompañó al que había sido el cuarto de mi abuela y actualmente lo usaba yo.
- ¿Que pasa? – pregunté
- Esto – tomó mi brazo herido y me lo mostro ciertamente me estaba haciendo inmune al dolor físico – deberás beber mi sangre para recuperarte
- No, estás loco?
- Que explicación darás Sookie? Tienes la clara marca de que algo te mordió – me dijo mostrándome la evidencia. El se tomó la muñeca y se mordió ofreciéndome su brazo. Yo sabía las consecuencias. Beber de su sangre, significaba algo importante para mí. La Sangre de vampiro agudizaba tus sentidos, era casi como una roca. Pero la verdad me dolía mucho y era cierto ¿Qué razones podía dar? Tomé el brazo que me ofrecía – bebe mi sangre Sookie – dijo con placer mientras yo succionaba ese néctar maravilloso, comenzando a sentir sus efectos rápidamente, sobre todo aquellos que tenían connotación sexual. A Eric le salieron los colmillos y yo me detuve, sabía lo que significaba eso. Dudé por un momento, pero el lazo que nos unía en ese momento era mayor. Me acerqué a él solo unos centímetros y Eric hizo el resto, de una manera rápida pero suave tomó mi cabeza entre sus manos y me besó. Mi cuerpo no se equivocaba al reaccionar así, si se notaba su amplia experiencia en un simple beso, no quería ni pensar en una algo más avanzado… tal como avanzaban sus manos por mi espalda hasta que se posaron en mi trasero, apretándome contra él. Sentir su masculinidad en mi estómago me hizo gemir…
- Sookie – susurró mi nombre en mi oído y gemí – Sookie – volví a escuchar, pero esta vez su tono cambio… - Sookie, Oye Sookie – Jason me sacudió y me miraba de manera burlesca– me quieres decir ¿qué demonios estabas soñando?
**Hola a todas! Primero que todo, gracias por los reviews, son realmente motivantes. **
**Espero les siga gustando la historia. **
3. El Regreso
- Mierda Jason - dije enderezándome - donde está Eric?
- Dijo que debía atender unos asuntos. Ese tipo es extraño… bueno, es un vampiro, ya lo sé, pero…- me levanté y me miré al espejo, mi aspecto era como si nada hubiese pasado. Miré mi brazo… si, había sucedido… pero hasta donde era real? Tal vez hice algo que…
- No - exclamé. Jason me miró extrañado
- Que pasa ahora Sook?
- Jason yo… - escarbé en su cabeza, a ver si tenía imágenes mías en algo extraño… No, nada mío. - Oh por Dios Jason, controla tus pensamientos
- Lo siento… Hey! Tu eres la que debes mantenerte fuera de mi cabeza, vale? - me apuntó con el dedo acusador - Andas en algo raro Sook, quiero que me cuentes… que pasa entre tú y ese vampiro?
- Nada - respondí insegura, ya que el solo hecho de pensar en Eric había revolucionado mis hormonas. Su sangre… podía sentirla, tenía sangre de un vampiro milenario en mi cuerpo y se sentía bien… Hasta donde habíamos llegado? Y si yo me había desmayado de puro placer? Me imaginé teniendo sexo con Eric, un calor recorrió mi cuerpo, me estremecí. No creo que hubiésemos tenido sexo, Eric no sería tan bastardo de tener sexo y luego dejarme desmayada… bueno, lo más probable era que sí - Entonces alcanzaste a verlo antes que se fuera
- De hecho, él me llamó. Vamos, quien podría querer visitar a su hermana a las 3 de la mañana? - miré el reloj en mi velador. Cierto - me llamó porque te habías desmayado y él tenía que salir, pero por lo visto solo estabas profundamente dormida, si incluso estabas soñando… - me miró con cara de pícaro - vamos, que estabas soñando… al menos dime con quién?
- idiota - le dije y me senté en la cama - gracias por venir - lo abracé - pero ya estoy bien, puedes volver a tu casa - le sonreí tranquilizándolo, aunque realmente nunca estuvo muy preocupado… era Jason, mi hermano que conocía desde que nací, no le podía pedir más. Además quería estar sola, necesitaba hablar con Eric para saber hasta dónde habíamos llegado. A penas se fue, marqué el teléfono - Pam, soy Sookie
- Ya lo sé, nuestra humana favorita - respondió ella con sarcasmo, tan típico de Pam - Eric está hablando con la Reina
- Sophie Anne está ahí?
- ajá, tienen al licántropo de rehén e intentan que de algo de información - me imaginé las torturas que estaba recibiendo ese pobre tipo… Pobre? Vamos! Me trató de matar, vaya a saber uno porqué. Espero al menos que Eric lo averiguara
- Pam?
- Sookie? - Pam siempre lograba hacerme sentir como una tonta, pero a pesar de eso, era una de los vampiros más cercanos, incluso podía calificarla como mi amiga
- Yo he bebido sangre de Eric, otra vez - reconocí - que tan fuerte es nuestro lazo?
- Lo suficiente como para que incluso yo sienta lo caliente que están uno por el otro - tan diplomática como siempre - Sookie, no es por meterme, pero acaso Bill te provoca algo así? Yo… ya no recuerdo cómo se siente… me refiero en sentido humano, claro porque…
- Si - la interrumpí antes que me diera detalle. Aunque no estaba segura si Bill me provocaba algo así - Ok Pam, debo dejarte. Yo… tengo que dormir
- Está bien, algún recado para Eric?
- Estaré mañana al atardecer por ahí - le corté y me quedé pensando. A Bill lo amaba, de eso no había duda, sería mi hombre ideal si no fuera un vampiro, aunque si no fuese un vampiro tampoco podría relacionarme con él.. Ok, basta de reflexiones por hoy.
Al otro día hablé con Sam, sobre el tema de los licántropos, necesitaba saber si conocía alguna organización sistematizada de licántropos, necesitaba tener información. Al anochecer estaba clavada en la puerta de Fangtasia, entré como si fuera mi casa. Pam me sonrió al verme dirigirme a la oficina de Eric, quien tenía a una jovencita de la cual se estaba alimentándose. A penas me vio entrar, casi la tiró al suelo
-Sookie - me saludó - vete - le dijo a la niña, quien salió de su oficina odiándome en lo más profundo de su ser. Cuando quedamos solos sentí la tensión sexual entre nosotros, inmediatamente mi respiración comenzó a agitarse y sentí mi ropa interior mojada. - Gusto en verte, que te trae por aquí
- Averiguaste algo de los licántropos? - asintió
- Querían la carpeta que iba dirigida a la Reina, saben que Bill está trabajando para ella por lo que pueden intentar tomarte de rehén. Por encargo de Sophie Anne seré tu protector hasta que bill regrese - sonrió satisfecho y yo me sentí morir - esta noche comenzamos, estás lista? - tomó las llaves de su coche y se paró a mi lado
- Necesito más información, Bill está al corriente de esto? - Eric asintió
- Bill no puede decir que no cariño, son órdenes de la Reina… además no le conviene.- Salimos con Eric llevándome casi a la arrastra, estacionó el coche y entramos - Sookie, relájate en serio - Eric se sentó a ver televisión y yo me fui a mi cuarto, no podía estar en la misma habitación que él con todo el deseo que sentía, luego bajé a la cocina a preparar un café y justo Eric se había entibiado una trueblood, una gota de sangre quedaba en sus labios. Maldito vampiro condenadamente sexy, por un momento no pude pensar más que en follármelo ahí y cuando volví a tener conciencia de mi, Eric estaba a mi lado mirándome con sus colmillos afuera. Era obvio que sentía lo que me provocaba, él era tan consciente como yo de lo que sentía en ese momento. Cansada de controlarme, posé mi mano en su pecho y la subí hasta llegar a su nuca, atrayendo su cabeza hacia mí hasta poder besarlo. Pronto el beso era desesperado, comencé a recordar la noche anterior. Sus manos comenzaron a vagar por mi cuerpo, mis manos recorrían cada fibra muscular que se le marcaba, hasta llegar al borde de su pantalón. Levanté su camiseta negra y él me ayudó a quitársela por sobre la cabeza. Con una mano, me tomó y me subió al mesón de la cocina, comenzó a besarme el cuello, sentía como esos colmillos estaban a punto de rasgar mi piel. Quitó mi camiseta negra de Merlotte's y con ella mi sostén, dejando nuestros torsos desnudos rozándose. Envolví mis piernas alrededor de su cintura, como aprisionándolo. Así y sin parar de besarnos, Eric nos llevó a mi cuarto.
Me depositó en la cama y se arrodilló, desabrochando mis pantalones y deshaciéndose de ellos en una velocidad asombrosa. Me besó y comenzó de a poco a trazar un camino de besos, hasta llegar a mi entrepierna, acomodó mis piernas sobre sus hombros y comenzó a darme el mejor sexo oral de mi vida. Todas las épocas vividas se reflejaban claramente en la experticia de su lengua, mi cuerpo se controlaba solo, estaba totalmente fuera de mi. La sensación de sus colmillos, rozando mis zonas más sensibles hizo que llegará pronto a un primer orgasmo. Su sonrisa, no ayudó más que en seguir provocándome, nos giré y me puse a horcajadas encima de él. Comencé a cabalgarlo, sus manos ayudaban mis movimientos y recorrían mi cuerpo. Cuando sentía que estaba a punto, se lo pedí
- Ahora, muérdeme - Eric se incorporó y me miró a los ojos, continuamos con el movimiento y cuando estaba a punto de venirme, Eric me ayudó enterrando sus colmillos en mi cuello. Sentí como los dos llegábamos juntos al orgasmo. Caí rendida sobre él - Oh Dios mío
- Al fin - dijo Eric lamiendo las últimas gotas de sangre de mi cuello
- Espero ahora estés feliz, Eric - esa voz la podía reconocer en cualquier parte… Bill.
End file.
| fanfiction |
the formation of string networks in phase transitions is a well - known connection between cosmology and condensed matter physics .
i would like to speak about a further connection which is not so widely appreciated , that is , the evolution of these networks _
after _ they form ( albrecht & turok , 1989 ; allen & shellard 1990 ; bennett & bouchet , 1990 ) .
figure 1 shows a simulation of what such a string network might look like today .
qualitatively it is similar to the network at formation , with some of the string in the form of infinite random walks and some in the form of loops of various sizes .
however , to understand the signatures it is essential to be quantitative .
for example , what is the mean density of string , and what is the distribution of loop sizes ?
it has been understood since the very early work of kibble ( 1976 , 1980 ) that most or all of the properties of the network are actually independent of the details of formation : the statistical properties of the network are given by an attractor solution .
the quantitative nature of this attractor solution is still very uncertain .
there is reasonable agreement ( though not unanimity ) about the total density in long strings .
however , estimates of the typical size of loops vary over tens of orders of magnitude , from nearly the size of the physical universe down to solar system scales and even down to microphysical scales .
remarkably , this true even when the equations governing the network are completely specified : it reflects our inability to solve these equations , either by numerical or analytic means . the closest analogy i can think of is turbulence .
let me first briefly review what kind of strings we are talking about , and how they might be observed . for a more extended review see polchinski ( 2008 ) .
the classic cosmic strings are gauge theory solitons , magnetic flux tubes , but the fundamental strings of superstring theory might also appear as cosmic strings .
other possibilities include the dual d - strings , as well as a variety of higher dimensional branes partially wrapped so that that only one dimension is extended ; one could also have electric flux tubes in the low energy gauge theory .
since the strings are of cosmic length and microscopic thickness , they will all be described to first approximation by the nambu action . however , there are a number of macroscopic properties and parameters that might distinguish them .
the first is their tension @xmath0 .
here it is useful to work with the dimensionless combination @xmath1 , which is a measure of the typical metric perturbation produced by the string .
another distinguishing property is what happens when two strings collide , since this is sensitive to their internal structure : do they pass through one another , or do they reconnect ?
the probability of reconnection is denoted @xmath2 ; to be precise , it is a function of the collision angle and velocity , but one usually takes a mean value .
other possible distinguishing properties would be the string having additional long - ranged interactions beside gravity ( e.g. axionic , or gauge ) ; the presence of extra low energy degrees of freedom , beyond the collective coordinates for its three - dimensional motion ; the existence of more than one kind of string ; and , the existence of junctions where three or more strings meet .
if cosmic strings are ever seen , the first task will be to determine these macroscopic properties , and then to try to deduce the underlying microscopic structure .
there is one notable situation in which there is a simple correspondence : if the only two models were the gauge theory solitons and the fundamental strings , then @xmath2 would distinguish them : it is 1 for the gauge theory strings , where reconnection is a classical process ( shellard , 1987 ) , and @xmath3 for fundamental strings , where it is a quantum process ( polchinski , 1988 ) . in order to determine the macroscopic properties from observations , a precise quantitative understanding of the networks will be needed .
in fact , the uncertainties are are large even for the simplest ` vanilla ' networks , with one kind of string , no junctions or extra long - range interactions or degrees of freedom , and @xmath4 .
we will focus on this simplest case . for vanilla networks the signatures are all gravitational : the effect on the cosmic microwave background ( cmb ) , gravitational lensing , and gravitational radiation .
the perturbations of the cmb come primarily from the long strings , for which the uncertainties are not so large but could still be improved .
long strings will lens , and so will loops if they are large enough .
gravitational radiation comes predominantly from the loops , and the intensity and frequency depend crucially on the highly uncertain loop size distribution .
this radiation is likely to be the strongest signature , and so it is essential to resolve this question .
in this section we describe the processes governing the evolution of vanilla string networks . for further details and references see polchinski ( 2008 ) , and also the classic reviews by vilenkin & shellard ( 1994 ) and by hindmarsh & kibble ( 1995 ) . any gauge theory with a broken @xmath5 symmetry
has a string soliton solution .
moreover , such strings will actually form in any phase transition in which a @xmath5 symmetry _ becomes _ broken ( kibble , 1976 ) , and a finite fraction of the string will be in infinite random walks .
these infinite strings are the seeds of the later network , because any loops that form in the transition decay rapidly .
subsequently , sarangi & tye ( 2002 ) made the remarkable observation that d - strings would be produced by d - brane annihilation at the end of brane inflation , since the low energy dynamics is again described by @xmath5 symmetry breaking .
in fact , regardless of the microscopic structure of the strings , there is some dual version of the kibble process , such that if the strings can exist only after some phase transition , they will actually form during that transition .
we must assume that the processes of breakage and string confinement are either absent or sufficiently suppressed so as to be negligible on cosmological time scales .
cosmic strings are long compared to their thickness , and so can be treated as idealized one - dimensional objects . for vanilla strings ,
the relevant action is just the nambu action in the frw metric @xmath6 the equation of motion governing the evolution of a cosmic string is @xmath7 here @xmath8 is given by @xmath9 these equations hold in the transverse gauge , where @xmath10 . dots and primes refer to derivatives with respect to the conformal time @xmath11 and the spatial parameter @xmath12 along the string , respectively .
the evolution of the parameter @xmath8 follows from equation ( [ eom ] ) , @xmath13 the equation of motion implies that on scales long compared to the horizon length , which is of the order of the frw time @xmath14 , the string is frozen in the comoving coordinates @xmath15 , and so just expands with the universe .
when a scale comes inside the horizon , the modes begin to oscillate ; the energy begins to redshift away , and the string straightens . from the second derivative terms it follows that signals on the string propagate to the right and left with @xmath16 .
thus the structure on a short piece of string at a given time is a superposition of left- and right - moving segments . in an expanding spacetime
the left- and right - moving waves interact they are not free as in flat spacetime .
it is very useful to discuss the motion of the string in terms of left- and right - moving unit vectors @xmath17 the equation of motion ( [ eom ] ) in terms of these is @xmath18 , \label{eom2}\ ] ] so that in the limit that we can ignore the time derivative of the scale factor we recover independent left- and right - moving waves .
when two straight strings reconnect , the resulting strings have a kink , which separates into left- and right - moving kinks . under the flat spacetime nambu equations ,
the kinks would move indefinitely in the two directions .
the curved spacetime equations imply that the kinks persist but their angle slowly decreases .
the decrease is sufficiently slow that the kinkiness is potentially very large : if one considers the total root - mean - square kink angle in a length of long string ( which is what would be relevant if the kink directions were uncorrelated ) , one finds that it diverges , so there is the potential for having structure on very small scales in the network .
the oscillations of the long string will emit gravitational radiation , and so are damped below a certain length scale .
a naive estimate would lead to the same scale that we will find below for the loop decays , something of order the dimensionless string tension @xmath1 times the frw time @xmath14 .
however , things are more subtle for long strings .
emission of gravitational radiation requires that a right- and left - moving mode meet . there is a nonlinear suppression when these have very different wavelengths , because the short - wavelength modes essentially perceives a straight string , so that the actual damping scale is @xmath19 times a larger power of @xmath1 .
when a long string intercommutes with itself , a loop breaks off .
the loop may then self - intercommute and fragment into smaller loops .
the fragmentation happens rapidly , within one period , so we are interested in the size distribution of the ultimate non - self - intersecting loops .
of course a loop may collide with a long string ( or each other ) and reattach ; for loops close to the frw scale this is likely , but smaller loops have a high probability never to rejoin .
dimensionally , a loop of length @xmath20 emits gravitational radiation power of order @xmath21 .
since its total energy is of order @xmath22 , we conclude that the lifetime is @xmath23 where the numerical factor @xmath24 is found to be of order 50 for typical loops . in other words ,
loops smaller than @xmath25 will decay in a hubble time .
if the network simply followed the expansion of the universe , all distances would grow as the scale factor @xmath26 , which goes as @xmath27 during the radiation - dominated era and as @xmath28 during the matter - dominated area .
however , the net effect of the evolution processes is to remove string from the network , so that the typical separation grows more rapidly . the horizon length ( which is the same as the frw time and as the hubble time , up to numerical factors ) is the maximum distance over which causal processes could have acted , and so is the fastest possible growth rate for the string separation . in fact , analytic arguments and simulations show that that this maximum is attained .
the _ scaling hypothesis _ states that the statistical properties of the network approach are constant when lengths are scaled to @xmath14 .
if the long string density exceeds the attractor value , the rate of collisions increases , resulting in more kinks , more loop formation , and less long string ; if it is smaller , than the opposite occurs .
this means that the initial conditions from the formation of the network , in particular the initial density of strings , are washed out in time .
the scaling hypothesis implies that the typical size at which loops form is a multiple of @xmath14 .
however , this leaves open the question as to whether the ratio is a pure number , or depends on the ( small ) dimensionless parameter @xmath1 .
the physical question is whether the smoothing of the network by gravitational radiation ( which takes place on a scale parametrically smaller than the horizon ) is important in determining the loop size , or whether the nonlinear dynamics of the network at scales near the horizon is sufficient . for the interesting values of @xmath1 ,
this represents an uncertainty of twenty orders of magnitude .
this remains a contentious subject even after twenty - five years of study .
if the horizon scale had been the only relevant scale in the problem , simulations would have readily determined the network properties .
instead , it is found that interesting physics takes place at the limits of spatial resolution and simulation time , and so one must attempt to extrapolate : is one seeing scales that are pure numbers , perhaps small numbers , times the horizon scale , or is new physics ( and a new parameter , @xmath1 ) needed to attain scaling ? unfortunately , analog systems seem difficult to employ here
. the bare minimum physics would be the expansion of the universe and the reconnection of colliding strings .
however , it is important that the dynamics is lorentz invariant and nearly dissipationless ; losing either of these properties would likely change the network behavior substantially .
also , it is important to reach large dynamic ratios of length and time .
it would seem difficult to find an analog system that does better than the numerical simulations .
rather , i think that the useful condensed matter parallel is one of theoretical approach .
analytic methods are difficult because of the nonlinearities of the problem .
one can write down the evolution equations for an ensemble of strings , but before long one must begin to approximate , and in the end most analytic treatments reduce to somewhat coarse models in terms of a few parameters . on the other hand
, one might have expected that the nature of the problem , the existence of a large ratio of scales , would lend itself to something like a renormalization group treatment .
roughly speaking , one would use the simulations to treat the strongly nonlinear behavior at the hubble scale , and then evolve down to shorter scales analytically .
this was the motivation for the work that will be described in the next section .
thus far , things are not as systematic as for the renormalization group .
the difficulty is largely that for the string network the flow is not from short distances to long but the other way around .
the hubble length , against which all things are scaled , increases more rapidly than the comoving length ( during the matter and radiation eras ) , so comoving structures move to smaller effective scales over time . in this respect
the problem is like turbulence , and has been similarly frustrating .
nevertheless , it has been possible to proceed by making approximations that are not precisely controlled but perhaps well - motivated . in particular , this has allowed us to understand why structures appear at scales far below the horizon length .
the simulations are still essential , but the analytic model enables us to distinguish real effects from transient ones , and to extrapolate beyond the scales that can be simulated .
combined with recent simulations that use a trick to get beyond the limitation on expansion times , it may be that a consistent and fairly quantitative picture is emerging .
the model we describe is developed in polchinski & rocha ( 2006 , 2007 ) and dubath _ et al . _
( 2007 ) , to which the reader is referred for more detail .
the philosophy is that the strongly nonlinear dynamics at the horizon scale ( and possibly at some other scales ) must be left to the simulations , but that the subsequent evolution over wide ranges of scale can be treated analytically .
we first consider the small - scale structure on the long strings . to do this
we focus on the evolution of a short left- or right - moving segment on a long string .
this will potentially involve the following : 1 .
evolution according to the frw - nambu equations ( [ eom2 ] ) .
2 . long string intercommutation .
3 . incorporation into a loop larger than the segment .
emission of a loop comparable to or smaller than the segment .
5 . smoothing via gravitational radiation .
the probability of the second of these is proportional to the length of the segment , and so can be systematically neglected for a short segment .
the third process is governed by dynamics on a longer distance scale , and so does not depend directly on the configuration of the segment : it will not change the statistical distribution for configurations of small segments . in saying this we are neglecting the correlation between the structure at short distance and the structure at long distance .
this is not a fully controlled approximation , but should become progressively better at shorter scales .
one could attempt to make an improved model in which this correlation is parametrized , but this will not be necessary for our purposes . ultimately one would like to write down the exact equations for an ensemble of string networks , and then approximate systematically , but this is apt to be very difficult ; it is more practical to first figure out what is going on .
the small loop production would be absent if the only scale were the hubble length .
we will see that if we assume this and proceed , it will not be self - consistent .
however , we will also find that the production of small loops is primarily controlled by the long - distance structure rather than the short distance structure , so we seem to get the right answer anyway .
finally , we will assume that , while we are below the hubble scale , we are at large enough scales to ignore gravitational radiation .
thus we need only to solve for the motion of a string in an expanding universe .
equations ( [ eom2 ] ) are not solvable in closed form , but they simplify for a short segment .
separate the configuration into a mean direction of the segment and a deviation , @xmath29 where @xmath30 and @xmath31 .
expanding in powers of @xmath32 gives @xmath33\ , \\
\dot{\bf w}_+ - \frac{1}{\epsilon } { \bf w}'_+ & = & - ( { \bf w}_+ \cdot \dot{\bf p}_+)\ , { \bf p}_+ + \frac{\dot{a}}{a } ( { \bf p}_+ \cdot { \bf p}_-)\ , { \bf w}_+\ . \label{eom3}\end{aligned}\ ] ] in eq .
( [ eom3 ] ) we have dropped a term @xmath34 , because it averages to zero ( with corrections suppressed by the length of the segment ) as the left- and right - moving waves sweep past each other . the first term on the right of equation ( [ eom3 ] ) is just a precession , which keeps @xmath35 perpendicular to @xmath36 ; if we work with parallel transported axes we can ignore it .
in the second term , the factor of @xmath37 means that the variation is significant only over a hubble time .
we then replace @xmath38 with its ensemble - averaged value .
this is simply @xmath39 with @xmath40 the ensemble average , which we obtain from the simulations , @xmath41 in the radiation era and @xmath42 in the matter era .
again , this is not a fully controlled approximation , but should become progressively better for shorter segments . along a left - moving characteristic
we then have @xmath43 , and similarly for @xmath44 along a right - moving characteristic . here
we take @xmath45 , so that @xmath46 . averaging over a translation - invariant ensemble of segments gives @xmath47 ^ 2 \right\rangle = t^{-2r(1 - 2\bar v^2 ) } f(\sigma-\sigma')\ . \label{ww}\ ] ] the physical length @xmath20 of a segment of coordinate length @xmath48 is @xmath49 where we have averaged in the @xmath8 equation of motion ( [ epsev ] ) .
as time goes on , the physical length of the segment increases as @xmath50 , but this is much slower than the growth of the hubble length @xmath19 , so the segment ` propagates ' to shorter and shorter scales .
correspondingly , as we evolve back , there will be a point at which its length approaches @xmath14 and our approximations break down . at this point
, we have to let the simulations deal with the horizon - scale dynamics , providing an initial condition that determine the constant @xmath14 .
that is , the correlator ( [ ww ] ) takes some value when @xmath51 , where the constant @xmath52 defines the matching scale .
this constant will be independent of time if the hubble - length dynamics scales , so we can conclude that @xmath53 to cancel the time - dependence of @xmath52 at the matching point . in all , @xmath47 ^ 2 \right\rangle = 2{\cal a } ( l / t)^{2\chi } \ . \label{fluct}\ ] ] the parameters @xmath40 and @xmath54 must be taken from simulations , but the remaining functional form is determined .
this two - point function implies that the fractal dimension of the string approaches 1 a short distance ( martins & shellard , 2006 ) , but slowly , as @xmath55^{2\chi})$ ] .
this power law behavior persists down to the scale where gravitational smoothing becomes important , @xmath56 ( polchinski & rocha , 2007 ) .
we now take account of the production of small loops .
since this takes place on scales small compared to the hubble scale , we can go to locally flat null coordinates @xmath57 , where @xmath58 and @xmath59 , with @xmath60 .
a loop forms whenever a long string passes through itself , meaning that @xmath61 for two points on the string . defining @xmath62
this means that @xmath63 for some @xmath64 , @xmath65 , and @xmath20 .
the rate of loop formation , per unit volume in @xmath66 , is then @xmath67 now , the components of @xmath68 are each proportional to the length @xmath20 , so the @xmath69-function implies a factor of @xmath70 .
the rate would scale as @xmath70 if the correlator of the @xmath71 s were scale invariant .
to work more carefully , separate @xmath72 as in eq .
( [ ppw ] ) , with the unit vectors @xmath73 proportional to @xmath74 .
then for small @xmath75 , @xmath76 the magnitudes @xmath77 are both equal to @xmath78 , so the whole is of order @xmath79 .
the columns of @xmath80 are of order @xmath81 ( the last from the components parallel to @xmath82 ) , so the determinant is of order @xmath83 giving @xmath84 for the rate .
the total rate of string length going into loops is weighted by an additional factor of @xmath20 , @xmath85 this diverges at the lower end for @xmath86 , a crucial result .
this large production of small loops seems surprising at first , because the string is becoming smooth in the sense that the fractal dimension approaches 1 .
what we have found above is that the production of small loops is controlled by the rate at which the fractal dimension approaches 1 , and in both the matter and radiation eras the approach is slower than the critical value @xmath87 . the total rate at which long string breaks off to form loops is fixed by energy conservation , so the divergence ( [ loopdiv ] ) must cut off in some way .
physically , the loop production at a given point must stop when the probability of a given point breaking off reaches unity . in dubath _
( 2007 ) it is shown by separating the curves @xmath72 into a classical long - distance piece and a random short distance piece ( figure 2 ) that the loop production occurs near large scale cusps - that is , intersections of the classical @xmath72 curves : for a small loop , equality of @xmath88 and @xmath89 occurs when the vectors @xmath90 are nearly parallel .
this is why the production of small loops is determined by the long distance structure , as claimed earlier .
further , it is found that the loop production distribution @xmath91 persists down to the gravitational radiation cutoff .
written as a fixed long - distance piece plus a random short - distance part .
production of small loops takes place near the cusp of the long - distance part . note that the figure is showing the tangent vector to the string , rather than the string itself .
the latter has a fractal dimension that approaches 1 at short distance , but the tangent vector path has a large fractal dimension as indicated . ] the most recent simulations ( olum & vanchurin , 2007 ) show two peaks in the loop production .
one is at a scale of order @xmath92 , while the other remains near the short - distance cutoff .
the authors of that work interpret the small peak as a transient , but it appears to match the analysis above : the exponent @xmath93 agrees quantitatively with the simulations , and also with those of ringeval _
et al._(2007 ) .
thus we argue that these are a robust physical feature .
we can not see the large loops in our model , which captures only the short - distance structure , but it is inevitable that some of these will arise from chance self - intersections of long strings .
our picture does explain why these large loops can survive fragmentation : one would expect from figure 2 that the regions near cusps will fragment extensively , but non - cusp regions of the long loop will remain .
thus it appears that we may be approaching an accord on the question of loop sizes .
some fraction of the string , perhaps a small fraction , goes into the largest scale under discussion , near the horizon .
the rest goes into loops at the gravitational radiation scale.[multiblock footnote omitted ] the simulations played an essential role in first revealing this double - peaked distribution , while the model plays a key role in confirming that the small loops are real , and in showing that gravitational radiation sets their actual size . the divergence ( [ loopdiv ] ) explains why there is not just a single scale in the string network : the nonlinearities of string evolution have a remarkable ability to transfer energy from cosmic scales down to much shorter wavelengths . in this respect
the cusps are like shock waves .
indeed , in shock waves the low energy field equations do break down , and shorter scale physics enters .
this has also been suggested for string networks ( vincent _ et al .
_ , 1997 ) .
we believe that smoothing due to gravitational radiation prevents this , but cosmic string networks have been a source of many surprises , and perhaps more are in store . finally , we emphasize the important lesson , that a precise understanding of cosmic string networks will depend on combining numerical and analytic calculations in the most effective way .
i thank jorge rocha and florian dubath for collaborations , and the organizers and participants of this royal society discussion meeting for a stimulating event . this work was supported by nsf grants phy05 - 51164 and phy04 - 56556 . | arxiv |
A Heart Full of Love For a Handful of Kisses is a 1948 single by Eddy Arnold. Written by Eddy Arnold, Steve Nelson and Ray Soehnel, the song was Eddy Arnold's eighth number one, where it spent one week at the top of the Best Seller lists. The b-side of A Heart Full of Love For a Handful of Kisses, a song entitled, Then I Turned and Slowly Walked Away hit number four on the Folk Best Seller lists.
References
Category:1948 songs
Category:Eddy Arnold songs
Category:Billboard Hot Country Songs number-one singles
Category:Songs written by Eddy Arnold | wikipedia |
pubmed |
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Digimon, Naruto 1. Chapter 1
**Naruto: The Digital Frontier**
**Chapter 1**
During a seemingly peaceful night in the village of Konoha, ten little white stars shone brightly in the night sky and were all positioned seemingly in a circle.
As the gleamed as bright as the sun an orange blur leapt from house to house, heading towards a large apartment building. That orange blur was the twelve-year old blue eyed, blond haired Genin called Naruto Uzumaki.
He leapt from roof top to roof top till finally he got close enough to the apartment, where he lived all by himself, resided. He inserted the key into the lock and opened the door as he entered.
Naruto yawned as he flipped the light switch. "Aw, man, what a day!" he remarked tiredly.
"Aw, man! What a day!" he exclaimed. "For an aloof kind of guy Kakashi Sensei can be a real _slave driver_."
Naruto took off his headband and placed in front of the mirror he walked by and tossed himself on his bed before sighing.
"Well at least it's over now!" he stated relieved. He glanced towards the window behind him and noticed the ten twinkly stars that laid in the sky. Normally, Naruto would ignore something like this but something about the stars seemed to catch his eye for some reason.
"That's weird… never noticed _those_ stars before…" he said. A few of the stars seem to twinkle even brighter much to his amazement. "Boy, I hope Sakura is watching this! Ooh! Maybe I can take a picture and show it to her! She'll _totally _dig me for that!"
Naruto quickly scrambled around his home looking for a camera to take a picture with, but so far he could not find it anywhere.
"Come on, it's gotta be around here somewhere…" Naruto told himself before starting to look around his room, searching for the camera. "Oh… where the heck did I put it?"
* * *
What Naruto didn't know was that he wasn't the only one who could see the ten glowing stars in the sky. Either by wandering outside or looking out the window, each of Naruto's friends and teammates; Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Kiba and Shino all saw the ten stars in different parts of the village and gazed at them with amazement and wonder.
"Beautiful…" Sakura mused.
"Amazing!" Hinata exclaimed, entranced by the glow of the stars.
"Wow! I've never seen stars this bright!" Ino remarked amazed.
Choji just chowed down on a bag of potato chips whilst staring at the stars, Shino on the other hand did not say a word and merely stared at the stars with a rather serious look on his face.
Shikamaru also had a serious look on his face. His eyes narrowed at the sight of the stars. "Something's not right…" he said quietly.
"Wow! Pretty amazing, eh Akamura?" Kiba asked the little dog safety tucked away in his jacket. His dog Akamura barked in response.
Like Shino and Shikamaru, Sasuke also looked at the star's with a serious look. "Something's coming." Sasuke said out loud.
The stars glowed brighter and brighter till finally split up, then they all started to fall from the sky and towards the village like streaking of falling stars, much to the shock and fear of the Rookie Nine.
One of the stars looked like it was heading for the village but looking closely it appeared to be heading in the direction of the outskirts of Konoha, where a figure with a black coat with red clouds all over it and dark hair watched it fall closely towards him. His name was Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke's older brother.
"Well, this is interesting…" he mused with absolutely no emotion.
* * *
Then before long, each of the remaining nine falling stars each flew at light speed towards each of the nine young ninja's. They were all stunned, then before any of them could react or even scream the balls of light slammed into their chests and slammed them against the nearest wall. They grunt with pain.
As soon as he hit the wall of his house an brief image of a strange warrior with long blond hair flashed around Naruto then faded. A similar thing happened to each of the others, with brief images of strange warriors appearing around their bodies, then fading away.
Naruto groaned in pain. "Ugh... what the...?"
Before he could say anymore, Naruto looked at his right hand and noticed a little ball of white light floating in the middle of his palm before taking shape of a strange crimson and black device with silver buttons, a silver spiked ring around the screen and a green middle button.
"What… what is this?" Naruto wondered, staring at the device. The suddenly, the device started to speak with a female voice.
"Greetings Naruto Uzumaki, this is your D-Tector." The voice in the device told him. "Use it well, and use it wisely."
"D-Tector?" Naruto echoed confused just before a flash of light emitted from the D-Tector and blinded him. His whole world went white.
2. Chapter 2
**Chapter 2**
It was morning by the time Naruto finally regained conscious. He opened his eyes to see fresh sunlight pouring into his home and birds chirping just outside his window.
He rubbed his sore head. "Aw man… what hit me?" he wondered. He then noticed the strange device in his hand. "What's _this_ thing?"
Naruto then remembered the voice called it a D-Tector and how one of the shooting stars phased into him and knocked him out.
"Oh yeah… it's called a D-Tector," he realized as he stood back up. "But what the heck does it _do?"_
Naruto then began to fiddle around with the strange device that was in his hand curiously and foolishly. While he did that, just outside his window, something even odder was happening in the sky, right in middle of the village and it appeared to be a strange blanket of dense fog approaching.
Elsewhere, the others were also waking up after being hit by the strange balls of light late last night and had just noticed that they also had D-Tector's in their hands. Each had different colors and buttons.
Sasuke's was navy blue and white with silver buttons and a orange middle button, Hinata's was green and cerulean with silver buttons and an orange middle button, Sakura's was pink and purple with light green buttons and a pink middle button, Kiba's was yellow and blue with silver buttons and a yellow middle button, Itachi's was gray and black with silver buttons and a yellow middle button.
Ino's was cerulean and navy blue with silver buttons and an orange middle button, Choji's was blue and orange with silver buttons and a yellow middle button, Shikamaru's was brown and light brown with silver buttons and a green middle button and Shino's was light green and green with light blue buttons and an orange middle button.
Each of them looked very curious and intrigued by the strange device they now held in their hands.
"What _is_ this?" Sasuke wondered.
"Wow… I've never seen anything like it!" Hinata remarked amazed.
"This is just too weird…" Shikamaru shook his head.
"I wonder if this thing can order snacks?" Choji inquired to himself.
"Ooh! I wonder what _this_ button does?" Ino questioned as she thoughtlessly began pressing different buttons on her D-Tector.
"Where did this come from?" Sakura asked out loud.
Kiba tried to press several buttons on his D-Tector but nothing happened, he growled frustrated. "Oh, man! I wish this thing came with a stinking manual!"
Shino just stared at his D-Tector thoughtfully, as did Itachi who saw a map appear on the screen of his D-Tector along with a few red blips blinking every few seconds.
"Very interesting indeed…" he mused. He then looked out to the dense fogged that was beginning to cover some part of Konoha.
It was that time that Naruto ceased playing around with his D-Tector and finally noticed the giant fog cloud covering the middle part of town.
"Whoa! What's _that_ thing?" he wondered. "Better go take a closer look!"
Naruto leapt out the window then started to leap from rooftop to rooftop, straight towards the dense fog. Unknown to him, Sakura and Sasuke were having very similar ideas.
"Some could be trouble… I'd better go check it out." Sakura said to herself as she began to travel towards the fog and at the same time, Sasuke had also began traveling in the same direction. They each carried with them their D-Tector's which seemed to beep flash and constantly.
Deep in the fog, no one could see much of anything, not even the strange portal that was opening up out of the ground and then after a few seconds a large, white snake like creature came shooting out of the portal hissing and baring it's fangs.
3. Chapter 3
**Chapter 3**
By the time Naruto entered the blanket of fog he could hear screams and shrieks coming from the center of it. He looked closely and saw the shadowy outline of the serpentine monster that had just emerged from the portal.
"Whoa! What the heck is that thing!?" Naruto exclaimed.
"I see you saw it too."
Naruto turned and noticed that Sasuke and Sakura had just arrived on the scene as well.
"Sasuke! Sakura!" Naruto cried.
"What do you think is going on over there?" Sakura asked Sasuke.
"I don't know but let's go over and take a closer look." Sasuke told them before heading off.
"Sure thing Sasuke!" Sakura gushed a bit.
"Oh sure, good plan Captain Obvious!" Naruto stated sarcastically.
"Just come on, Naruto!" Sakura told him sternly before following Sasuke close behind.
"Ugh, alright, fine!" Naruto said as he quickly leapt after the others.
As soon as they got close enough the trio of ninja are finally able to see through the blanket of fog and see just what was attacking. They are shocked when they saw that the creature was a giant white snake that resembled a cobra with a purple underbelly, red eyes and seemed to be carrying an axe with its long white tail. It hissed at them loudly.
"Wow! Look at the size of that thing!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Is this another one of Orochimaru's snakes?" Sakura inquired.
"I don't know…" Sasuke admitted. "I've never seen a snake wield a weapon like this one…"
The giant snake monster catches sight of the three of them, hisses loudly and swings its massive axe straight for them. Naruto bugs out as he, Sakura and Sasuke leapt out of the way while the Axe cut right through the building they were standing on like it was made out of butter.
"Whoa! What _is_ this thing!?" Naruto cried out in alarm.
"I don't know… but one thing's for sure… this is defiantly not an ordinary snake." Sakura determined.
"Yeah, you can say that again!" Sasuke agreed as the snake continued to hiss at them angrily. Just then, the trio's D-Tector's started beeping, much to their surprise.
Naruto took his out. "Hey… what's with…"
"Hey! Naruto!" Sakura called out.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"You have one of those things two!?" Sakura exclaimed as she and Sakura held up their D-Tector's, Naruto looked greatly surprised.
"They're the same… these things… are exactly the same." Naruto mused. "But… what the heck are they?"
"I don't know… Sasuke?" Sakura asked, hoping he had an answer but his silence said otherwise. Before they could contemplate any further the snake monster fired little needles laced with poison at them which the ninja trio managed to dodge quickly.
When they landed, a holographic image of the snake monster they were fighting appeared out of their D-Tector's, including its name, much to their surprise.
"Hey, what's this?" Sakura wondered before she began reading what the hologram said. "Sandiramon, a Beast-type Digimon, Ultimate Level, his special attack is Venom Axe."
"Sandiramon? Beast-Type Digimon? Ultimate Level? Venom Axe?" Naruto echoed, extremely confused. "What the heck does that mean?"
"No idea…" Sakura admitted. "Maybe…"
"Incoming!" Sasuke shouted. Naruto and Sakura looked up and saw that the giant snake known as Sandiramon was about to attack again.
"Venom Axe!" Sandiramon suddenly yelled as he raised his giant axe again, which seemed to glow with a purple light, before sending it heading down towards the three. They barely managed to dodge the attack which created a massive explosion around the area they were previously standing on, the explosion not only destroyed a few buildings but also caught the attention of two Jōnin named Kakashi and Guy who had just landed on a building close by, looking at the aftermath of the explosion.
"What in the world is _that_ thing?" Guy wondered.
"I don't know… but whatever is it's definitely not Orochimaru's…" Kakashi mused. He then spotted Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura nearby the creature, constantly avoiding it's attacks, his eyes widen. "Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura… what are they doing over there!?"
"I don't know… but it looks to me like their fighting that thing off!" Guy remarked, proudly. "Such youthfulness they have! You should be proud Kakashi!"
"This is no time to be proud Guy, those three could get _killed_ fighting that beast!" Kakashi told him sternly. "We must to get to them, and fast!"
"Right!" Guy exclaimed, as he and Kakashi bean to make their way to the site of the battle.
Meanwhile, at that said battle Naruto and his teammates were still trying their best not to get killed by the giant snake 'digimon'. But as they were dodging their D-Tector's began to beep and flash once again, which surprised them.
"Huh? What are they doing now?" Naruto wondered as he took a good look at it. Then an image of a strange object appears on the small screen of the D-Tector, it appeared to be red armor, then the image changed to show a glowing red symbol. "Whoa… hey are you guys seeing this?"
Both Sakura and Sasuke were also looking at their D-Tector's which were also displaying pictures of armor and symbols in front of them.
"Yeah, we sure are…" Sakura replied. Sasuke looked speechless, like he didn't know what to make of what they were all looking at.
Curious, Naruto pressed a button on his D-Tector. This caused a flash of light and a towers of different colored energy that surrounded the trio, which stunned Sandiramon and stopped Kakashi and Guy in their tracks.
"What?" Kakashi breathed.
"Holy Moly! Now _that_ is what I call a _lightshow!"_ Guy remarked, amazed. The light then became so bright that it blinded the two ninja and the snake.
Inside the towers of energy, Naruto and the others were almost just as amazed as Guy Sensei was, then a ring of energy appeared around their left hands. They all gasped in shocked.
"Guys… what's happening!?" Naruto exclaimed.
"How are we supposed to know Naruto!?" Sakura pointed out, annoyed.
"Oh, right…" Naruto muttered, seeing her point. Sasuke also looked just as confused as Naruto for once. Then their D-Tector's began to beep again and the image of their individual armor pictures start to flash on and off.
"_What's happening…?"_ Naruto thought as images began to flash rapidly in his mind and before long he somehow knew what to do.
"Hey! Hey, guys! I think I've figured it out!" Naruto called out. Sasuke and Sakura both turn to him, surprised.
"What? You have?" The pink haired girl inquired.
"Just do what I do!" Naruto told him. He put his D-Tector to the ring around his hand, presses a button and the D-Tector begins to scan it.
"Execute! Spirit… Evolution!" Naruto cried.
Sasuke and Sakura exchange glances and odd before they begin to mirror Naruto's movements.
"Execute! Spirit… Evolution!" They both shouted. Many, many rings of energy then began to appear around them till it looked like they were each in a cocoon of energy. Sandiramon saw this and hissed, Kakashi and Guy also saw it as well.
"What's _this?"_ Kakashi asked out loud.
"Kakashi! What's happening to them?" Guy inquired. But Kakashi did not enter as he was just as stunned as he was.
Inside the their cocoons, strange transformations were occurring to the three ninja. Their muscles each began to grow and were slowly starting to grow several inches with each passing second till they were even taller than Kakashi and Guy and their clothes began to shrink, morph and change. Each of them groaned loudly, under the strain of the pain.
Naruto's hair then became longer and spikier till it reached his waist and his fangs reappeared
Sasuke's hair shifted from raven black to blond like Naruto's and his dark eyes then became red, like Naruto he also grew fangs.
Sakura's eyes suddenly became blank as he hair became a more purple color and grew till it was even longer then before she cut it plus thin butterfly like wings began to grow out of her back.
All three of them all let out a loud battle cry as their cocoons flashed one more time, blinding everyone nearby. When the light finally faded Kakashi and Guy were shocked to see what Team 7 had now become.
Naruto now wore a mask with two horns attached to it. leaving only his mouth and eyes visible. He wore a black suit, with white armor on his breast. He also has flame patterned shoulder pads. Around his waist he wears a belt with the strange symbol on it. He had flame patterned padding's around his arms, and has a brace around each wrist with three holes to act as exhaust for the flames he releases. He had black hands from the outfit he wears. He had a pair of flame patterned padding's around his thigh, three holes through the padding of his knees and n top of each foot he had the same three holes. His feet also have two white claws and have the same flame patterned padding's around each foot.
Sasuke now wore a metal cap on his head that resembled a wolf's head. He wore a white suit beneath his armor plating's. He has a breast armor plate which is grey with dark purple patterns. He had large metal shoulder pads with another strange symbol embedded on each one. A long light and dark purple scarf is worn around his neck. Two weapons are also holstered in the belt around his hip and there is a weapon mounted on his left arm. He wore a large metal plating with three ridges on each arm. They extend from his wrist to just past his elbow. He wears dark purple gloves. He also dark purple knee pads, with black belts on each leg to keep them in place. He wore metal footwear with three black claws on each foot. A black belt was worn around each leg between his knee and pelvis.
Sakura's long purple hair was now done in a ponytail fashion with two strands in front of her face. A special visor was worn around her eyes. Four green stripes on each corner are visible on her face. She wore a headband which also wraps clothing around her neck and shoulders which is part of her outfit. On her headband, a pair of small wings were attached over her ears. Her outfit resembled female lingerie. It was colored lavender, and consisted of double layered white shoulder pads, a strapless bra, belt, and underwear which is also part of the headband and clothing around her neck. She wore a pair of tight pink gloves and on top of that, a pair of white and purple gloves with a pair of wings attached to each glove. A pair of thigh high boots with a pale green butterfly pattern embedded on them are worn. A pair of wings on each boot near the bottom can be found. From the top of the boots is a flexible thread connected to her belt, part of her outfit.
All three of them stood on a tall building ready for battle, they stared at Sandiramon when determined looks in their eyes. Naruto, in his new form, smirked. He now spoke with a deeper voice.
"All right… time to party," he declared.
4. Chapter 4
**Chapter 4**
Kakashi and Guy were eyed with shock and both of their jaws were hanging wide open as well, after seeing the trio transform before their eyes.
"What? Their hair… their bodies… they've been transformed!" Guy exclaimed.
"Wow… Incredible!" Kakashi admitted.
Naruto then noticed Kakashi and Guy then super leaped over to them, he landed right in front of him. Now standing in front of the boy who used to be a small twelve year old boy, Kakashi and Guy appear to only reach Naruto's shoulder.
"Kakashi Sensei! Mega Brows! What are you doing here?" Naruto asked.
"We saw the explosion and came over to help… but more importantly… what _happened_ to you Naruto?" Kakashi questioned.
"Not sure really, you like the new look? You should." Naruto stated. Sasuke, in his new super form suddenly appeared in front of them as well. He also spoke in a deeper voice.
"Yeah, just leave everything to us." Sasuke told the Jōnin. "We got this under control."
Naruto then saw a window and saw his reflection in it for the first time. "Whoa! With all this crazy hair and armor I barely recognize myself!" he remarked.
Sasuke just grunted. "Could be worse."
"Yeah, at least it's better than giant eye brows!" Naruto joked.
"How… how did you do this?" Kakashi asked.
Naruto shrugged. "Eh, it's no big deal, we'll tell you about it later… _after_ we squash this creep!" he said, glaring at Sandiramon who had begun to make its way towards them again.
"Come on, let's go!" Sasuke said.
"Right!" Naruto said, with a nod. They two of them leapt towards the direction of Sandiramon. Sakura flew downwards to talk to Guy and Kakashi.
"Sensei, stay here where it's safe, we'll take care of Sandiramon." Sakura told them, before flying off to join the others. Guy and Kakashi were stunned.
"Um… what just happened?" Guy wondered.
"I don't know, but I believe we have just been benched." Kakashi deduced. He then noticed Guy kneeling in a corner sulking.
"The shame…" he moaned, Kakashi groaned in exasperation.
Meanwhile, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke all appeared around Sandiramon, preparing to attack. The holes on Naruto's gloves lit themselves up with flames, Sasuke gripped the sword that was attached to his belt and as Sakura lifted her arms the winds around her began to blow faster and faster.
"Alright guys let's clobber this guy!" Naruto declared. "Fire Style: Pyro Darts Jutsu!"
Naruto tossed little bits of flame at Sandiramon.
Sasuke began to take out his weapon. "Light Style: Lobo Kendo Jutsu!" he cried, as the weapon formed a long sword made out of light energy which he aimed right at the giant snake Digimon.
"Wind Style: Hurricane Wave Jutsu!" Sakura shouted as little hurricanes begin to emit from her finger tips which she blew right at Sandiramon. All three attacks collided into the snake monster Digimon, creating a large explosion. Smoke began to rise from all over the area.
"Is it over?" Naruto wondered. His answer came quick in the form of a large axe cutting through the smoke and heading his way. "Whoa!"
Naruto leapt out of the way of the axe, as did Sasuke and Sakura. Sandiramon emerged from the smoke hissing ferociously. It attempted to chomp down on Naruto but he managed to jump out of the way in the time while the snake took a huge bite out of the building he was standing on. But while he was momentarily floating in mid-air Naruto was vulnerable thus allowing Sandiramon to strike him in the back with its tail and send him flying into a far off building. He left a large impact crater when he hit it.
"Naruto!" Sakura and Kakashi cried out in alarm. Naruto groaned and lifted himself out of the large crater he created in the wall while Sandiramon made its way toward him.
"Oh, no you don't!" Sakura shouted, she did a hand stand and began to twirl around and around creating large gusts of wind. "Wind Style: Tempest Twist!"
Sakura spun toward Sandiramon when she made contact with it not only did the hard winds hit it but her boots as well. As she did that Sasuke positioned himself on another building.
"Sakura! Get to move this way!" he called out as he aimed the blaster on his arm out and readied it. Sakura did as he order and delivered several more sidekicks to Sandiramon's face, moving it towards Sasuke's line of fire.
"That's it… just a little bit closer!" Sasuke muttered.
Eventually Sandiramon had enough and wrapped its tail around Sakura and squeezed hard, the pressure exerted from all its squeezing caused Sakura to scream out in pain as she began to feel her very bones start to crack a little.
"S-Sakura!" Naruto shouted. Sandiramon opened its mouth and prepared to swallow Sakura hold but at that moment Sasuke's blaster had began to charge up, catching it's attention.
"Light Style: Howling Laser!" he exclaimed as he fired two beams of light from his gauntlet which struck the very inside of Sandiramon's mouth. It screeched in pain as smoke began to emit from its mouth, like the very inside of it was on fire.
"Now Naruto!" Sasuke cried.
Naruto leaped high into the air, Sandiramon turned to him. The holes on the various parts of his armor then began to light on fire as he slowly begins to twirl around and around till there was a little tornado of flames in front of Sandiramon.
"Fire Style: Pyro Tornado!" he cried. The intense flames licked and struck Sandiramon hard and painfully, causing it to cry out in intense pain and release Sakura from its grasp, its cry that could be heard all over the village. Then the flames died out and Naruto finally ended it by giving Sandiramon a strong roundhouse kick to the face. Sandiramon let out one more cry of pain before it's whole body began to darken. A ring of energy then appeared around it's serpentine body.
"Whoa! What's happening?" Guy wondered.
"I don't know… but I think they just won." Kakashi guessed.
Naruto and the others then stand together before the now defeated Digimon, wondering what to do.
"Hey… what's that ring around him?" Sakura wondered.
"I don't know but it looks like the ring he scanned right before we all transformed." Sasuke deduced.
"Then let's try and scan this one!" Naruto declared, as his D-Tector suddenly appeared in his hand. "Time for some purification!"
Naruto pressed a button on his D-Tector and began to scan the ring around Sandiramon. "Fractal Code… Digitize!" he cried. The ring sucked itself into his D-Tector while the body of the giant snake Digimon known as Sandiramon became an egg which was sucked up by a portal that had just appeared in the sky, it disappeared quickly after it arrived. An image of Sandiramon appeared on Naruto's D-Tector.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Halo, Mario Halo Party
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story.
My first story, and it probably sucks.
This chapter has alternating POV's, but later I'm going to stick with the Chief.
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Chapter 1: A Series of Unfortunate Events.
The rear half of the Forward Unto Dawn entered the atmosphere, and a frozen warrior awoke within. Inside the cryo bay, Spartan-117 was thawing from his icy prison. He spoke as he pulled himself from the cryotube. "Cortana?" On a nearby pedestal, the small figure of a blue woman with code running along her body appeared. "I'm here Chief. Have a nice nap?" "How long has it been?" "Two months, a few days ago we were sucked into a decaying orbit around this planet. I suggest you hurry to the drop pod bay, there is a single HEV pod remaining."
The Chief grasped for the Assault Rifle he had secured in a nearby weapons rack, only to find the rack had come loose and crashed into an empty cryotube and soaked the MA5C in coolant. Shaking his head, he pulled Cortana from the pedestal and placed her chip into the slot in his helmet. Rushing out the door, he sprinted to the bay and strapped himself into the pod. The door closed, and the pod was ejected from the ship.
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Shy Guy hummed to himself as he walked down the path to the castle where they would announce the fourth annual Mario Party event. A flash of light appeared in the corner of his eye, and he looked up to see a shooting star. He squinted, and noticed a second star broke off from the larger one. In fact, it looked like it would land nearby...
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The pod slammed into the ground, and the door was blown off, allowing its occupant to roll out and sweep the area with his helmet macrobinoculars. All looked clear, when a white blip appeared on his motion sensor a few feet behind him. Spiinning around and dropping into a fighting stance, he found nothing but the pod he had came from. He was surprised when he heard a muffled cry for help come from under the pod.
Deciding the question of how the being survived an HEV pod containing a half-ton armored supersoldier crashing down on it could wait, the Chief shoved the pod over to reveal a short masked creature with stubby arms wearing a red hoodie, fedora, and blue shoes.
The creature looked up at him and spoke. "Um, thanks."
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Shy Guy looked up at the metal thing that had pushed the other metal thing off of him, and said the only thing he could think of.
"Um, thanks."
It tilted its head, if it was a head, and spoke in a rough voice. "Who are you?"
Shy Guy gulped. "Um, my name is Shy Guy."
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"I wonder if its a guy or a girl?" Cortana remarked sarcasticly inside the Chief's helmet.
Any reply was cut off by Shy Guy. "Um, who, or what, are you?"
"Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan-117."
Shy Guy stared blankly, and the Chief sighed.
"My name is John."
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Shy Guy suddenly remembered what he was doing in the first place.
"Um, I need to go. I'm late for a very important thing."
John nodded. "And I need to recover my shi-"
He was cut off as the ship inexplicably exploded in mid-air.
"On second thought, I'll come with you."
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Chapter one is over.
Well, was that horrible or just bad?
End file.
| fanfiction |
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the incidence of undescended testes has been reported to be 0.8% of infants at 1 year of age , 3.4% to 5.5% of full - term newborns , and 9.2% to 30.0% of premature infants [ 5 - 9 ] . of all undescended testes ,
approximately 20% are reported to be clinically impalpable . whereas the management of boys with palpable undescended testes is straight - forward , despite an abundance of international studies ,
there are no guidelines and there is considerable variability in the management of boys with impalpable testes . since the first report of diagnostic laparoscopy for impalpable testes in 1976 ,
diagnostic laparoscopy has gained wide acceptance as a diagnostic procedure for identifying the exact anatomy of impalpable testes and the adnexae .
however , some investigators have recently reported that scrotal exploration is a potentially definitive approach for the diagnosis and management of impalpable testes .
thus , we investigated the efficacy and results of diagnostic laparoscopy for the management of impalpable testes .
between april 2000 and december 2009 , 86 patients ( 89 testes ) with impalpable , undescended testes underwent diagnostic laparoscopy .
impalpable testes were diagnosed by physical examination and ultrasonography in the outpatient department , and the diagnosis was confirmed by careful physical examination under general anesthesia before surgery .
all patients with impalpable , undescended testes underwent diagnostic laparoscopy before making a decision regarding surgical management .
the testes were classified into the following four types on the basis of the location and viability of the testes : intraperitoneal viable testes , intraperitoneal nonviable testes ( including vanished testes ) , extraperitoneal viable testes , and extraperitoneal nonviable testes . in every case , except for intraperitoneal nonviable testes , an exploratory inguinal incision was performed .
clinical and follow - up data from the eligible patients were retrieved from the patients ' medical records and reviewed retrospectively .
comparison of laparoscopic findings and surgical outcomes were performed by pearson 's chi - square test .
all p - values were 2-sided , and data were considered statistically significant at a p<0.05 .
eighty - six patients were included in this study with a mean age of 34 months ( range , 9 - 368 months ) at the time of diagnostic laparoscopy .
seventy - one patients ( 82.5% ) had a unilateral , impalpable undescended testes and 15 patients ( 17.5% ) had bilateral undescended testes .
of the 71 patients who had a unilateral , impalpable undescended testis , 24 ( 27.9% ) were right - sided and 47 ( 54.7% ) were left - sided . of the 15 patients who had bilateral undescended testes , 3 ( 3.5% ) had bilateral , impalpable undescended testes , but 12 patients ( 13.9% ) had a unilateral , impalpable undescended testis and a contralateral , palpable undescended testis .
coexisting anomalies included one case of ipsilateral renal agenesis and one case of prader - willi syndrome .
of the 89 impalpable undescended testes , 52 patients ( 58.4% ) had an internal spermatic vessel and vas deferens visualized entering the internal inguinal ring ; 46 of the 52 testes ( 51.7% ) were extraperitoneal nonviable testes , and the remaining 6 testes ( 6.7% ) were extraperitoneal viable testes ( fig .
nineteen testes ( 21.3% ) were intraperitoneal nonviable testes and 18 testes ( 20.2% ) were intraperitoneal viable testes
. there were some discrepancies in the distribution of laparoscopic findings between unilateral and bilateral undescended testes ( table 1 ) .
in the patients with unilateral undescended testes , as with the distribution of total testes , 47 patients ( 66.2% ) had an internal spermatic vessel and vas deferens entering the internal inguinal ring , 16 testes ( 22.5% ) were intraperitoneal nonviable testes , and 8 testes ( 11.3% ) were intraperitoneal viable testes . in the patients with bilateral undescended testes , 10 testes ( 55.6% ) were intraperitoneal viable testes , 3 testes ( 16.7% ) were intraperitoneal nonviable testes , and cord structures entering the internal inguinal ring were observed in only 5 patients ( 27.8% , p<0.001 ) .
an inguinal exploration was performed on 72 testes ( 80.9% ) . in 5 patients ,
orchiectomies were performed in 43 hypotrophic or atrophic testes ( 59.7% ) , most of which were shown to enter the internal inguinal ring .
orchiopexies were performed on 24 testes ( 33.3% ) , including 10 cases ( 13.9% ) of 1-stage fowler - stephens orchiopexies .
the duration of follow - up ranged from 6 to 98 months ( mean , 30.6 months ) for the 24 patients who underwent orchiopexies .
the surgical outcomes of orchiopexies were assessed by testicular size and ultrasonographic findings . based on the method of the orchiopexy ,
12 of 14 testes ( 85.7% ) were viable following open conventional orchiopexy compared with 6 of 10 testes ( 60% ) following 1-stage fowler - stephens orchiopexies , but there was no statistical significance ( p=0.051 ) ( table 3 ) . according to the testicular anatomical position , 6 of 9 testes ( 66.7% ) in the inguinal canal were viable compared with 12 of 15 intraperitoneal viable testes ( 80% ) , but there was no significant difference in the success rate ( p=0.635 ) .
eighty - six patients were included in this study with a mean age of 34 months ( range , 9 - 368 months ) at the time of diagnostic laparoscopy .
seventy - one patients ( 82.5% ) had a unilateral , impalpable undescended testes and 15 patients ( 17.5% ) had bilateral undescended testes .
of the 71 patients who had a unilateral , impalpable undescended testis , 24 ( 27.9% ) were right - sided and 47 ( 54.7% ) were left - sided . of the 15 patients who had bilateral undescended testes , 3 ( 3.5% ) had bilateral , impalpable undescended testes , but 12 patients ( 13.9% ) had a unilateral , impalpable undescended testis and a contralateral , palpable undescended testis .
coexisting anomalies included one case of ipsilateral renal agenesis and one case of prader - willi syndrome .
of the 89 impalpable undescended testes , 52 patients ( 58.4% ) had an internal spermatic vessel and vas deferens visualized entering the internal inguinal ring ; 46 of the 52 testes ( 51.7% ) were extraperitoneal nonviable testes , and the remaining 6 testes ( 6.7% ) were extraperitoneal viable testes ( fig .
nineteen testes ( 21.3% ) were intraperitoneal nonviable testes and 18 testes ( 20.2% ) were intraperitoneal viable testes
. there were some discrepancies in the distribution of laparoscopic findings between unilateral and bilateral undescended testes ( table 1 ) . in the patients with unilateral undescended testes ,
as with the distribution of total testes , 47 patients ( 66.2% ) had an internal spermatic vessel and vas deferens entering the internal inguinal ring , 16 testes ( 22.5% ) were intraperitoneal nonviable testes , and 8 testes ( 11.3% ) were intraperitoneal viable testes . in the patients with bilateral undescended testes , 10 testes ( 55.6% ) were intraperitoneal viable testes , 3 testes ( 16.7% ) were intraperitoneal nonviable testes , and cord structures entering the internal inguinal ring were observed in only 5 patients ( 27.8% , p<0.001 ) .
an inguinal exploration was performed on 72 testes ( 80.9% ) . in 5 patients ,
orchiectomies were performed in 43 hypotrophic or atrophic testes ( 59.7% ) , most of which were shown to enter the internal inguinal ring .
orchiopexies were performed on 24 testes ( 33.3% ) , including 10 cases ( 13.9% ) of 1-stage fowler - stephens orchiopexies .
the duration of follow - up ranged from 6 to 98 months ( mean , 30.6 months ) for the 24 patients who underwent orchiopexies .
based on the method of the orchiopexy , 12 of 14 testes ( 85.7% ) were viable following open conventional orchiopexy compared with 6 of 10 testes ( 60% ) following 1-stage fowler - stephens orchiopexies , but there was no statistical significance ( p=0.051 ) ( table 3 ) . according to the testicular anatomical position , 6 of 9 testes ( 66.7% ) in the inguinal canal were viable compared with 12 of 15 intraperitoneal viable testes ( 80% ) , but there was no significant difference in the success rate ( p=0.635 ) .
there are three main locations of impalpable testes : 40% of all impalpable , undescended testes are located intraperitoneally ; 15% are vanished testes ; and 45% have cord structures entering the internal inguinal ring . for
the assessment and diagnosis of impalpable , undescended testes , several diagnostic imaging tools , such as computed tomography or magnetic resonance imaging , can not give us 100% reliable information about testes .
to diagnose undescended testes , siemer et al recommended diagnostic laparoscopy with a sensitivity and specificity of up to 90% .
ang and forrest reported that laparoscopy for impalpable , undescended testes is of proven valuable for both diagnosis and surgical management . in their study ,
25.3% of impalpable testes were identified intraperitoneally and 18.9% were absent ; therefore , diagnostic laparoscopy was helpful in 44.2% of impalpable testes .
our results are consistent with these findings . in our study , there were 19 cases of intraperitoneal nonviable testes ( 21.3% ) ; only 3 of 19 cases underwent inguinal exploration and 2 of 3 cases did not undergo any type of surgery .
there were 18 intraperitoneal viable testes ( 20.2% ) ; thus , diagnostic laparoscopy was useful for a minimum of 42.5% of cases .
because most testes were identified intraperitoneally in the patients with bilateral undescended testes , we focus more and more on the usefulness of diagnostic laparoscopy in such situations . recently , snodgrass et al reported that the initial scrotal incision for a unilateral impalpable testis may be definitive management when a nubbin is identified .
snodgrass et al demonstrated that laparoscopy is a reliable diagnostic tool for detection of an intraperitoneal testis , but a dilemma arises when there is no testis , and the cord structures exit the inguinal ring .
thus , most patients who undergo initial laparoscopy will undergo a second inguinal incision for an orchiectomy or orchiopexy .
this study suggests that scrotal exploration is a definitive procedure as a diagnostic and therapeutic tool for extraperitoneal testes and nubbins in patients with unilateral impalpable testes , but laparoscopy is only for intraperitoneal testes .
however , in cases of high inguinal testes , neither a scrotal nor a laparoscopic approach is definitive , necessitating a groin dissection to confirm extraperitoneal nonviable testes .
also , we acknowledge that groin dissection without any prior knowledge of a testicular location would sometimes be a tedious and challenging task without any benefit to the patient . thus , even in cases with extraperitoneal testes , diagnostic laparoscopy clearly shows the anatomy and provides accurate visual information , which surgeons can use to make a definitive decision . in the current study
, we found that there were some discrepancies in the distribution of laparoscopic findings between unilateral and bilateral undescended testes . in cases of bilateral undescended testes ,
a previous series by chang et al reported a higher incidence of bilaterality ( 25% ) in patients with intraperitoneal cryptorchid testes for reasons that are not entirely clear . considering the significant role of androgens in transinguinal descent of fetal testes ,
our findings support the notion that bilateral cryptorchidism is more under - masculinized than unilateral cryptorchidism .
the fact that greater than one - half of the patients had intraperitoneal viable testes prompts us to make every effort to find a viable testis if the laparoscopic findings suggest intraperitoneal testes . in the current study ,
the success rates were 85.7% for open conventional orchiopexies and 60% for 1-stage fowler - stephens orchiopexies . in our center , we chose to perform open conventional orchiopexies rather than the laparoscopic approach because we believe that the key to success is a careful dissection of the vas and vessels , which would be difficult to achieve laparoscopically in a very young patient .
the fowler - stephens orchiopexies are recommended in patients high intraperitoneal testes , defined as a distance between the testis and the internal ring > 3 cm .
although we prefer a 1-stage fowler - stephens orchiopexy due to the risk of injury to the reproductive tract , as well as the testicular vessels during the second stage of the procedure , a meta - analysis showed that two - stage fowler - stephens orchiopexy appears to carry a higher success rate than the one - stage approach ( 85% vs. 80% ; odds ratio : 2 , in favor of the two - stage procedure ) .
given the outcomes in the current and a previous study , we suggest consideration of two - stage fowler - stephens orchiopexy rather than the one - stage procedure in similar situations .
according to the results of our study , diagnostic laparoscopic localization and assessment of an impalpable , undescended testis was useful in a minimum of 42.5% of cases , especially for patients with bilateral undescended testes .
even though there was no statistical significance , the different success rates following orchiopexy were associated with the type of orchiopexy . | pubmed |
Berita Harian – malezyjski dziennik ukazujący się w języku malajskim. Został założony w 1957 roku i należy do głównych gazet w kraju.
W 2005 roku nakład pisma wynosił ponad 200 tys. egzemplarzy.
Przypisy
Linki zewnętrzne
Oficjalna strona pisma
Czasopisma w języku malajskim
Czasopisma wydawane od 1957
Dzienniki w Malezji | slim_pajama |
Ernest Louis Georges Will 25 April 1913 24 September 1997 was a 20th-century French archaeologist and University professor, a member of the Académie des Inscriptions et Belles-Lettres.
Biography
After he finished his secondary studies at the Jean Sturm Gymnasium and passed a licence de lettres at the Strasbourg University, Ernest Will joined the École Normale Supérieure in 1933 and obtained an Aggregation classique in 1936. He was a student of the French School at Athens from 1937 to 1939 and led excavations on the sites of Thasos, Delos and Delphi. When he was mobilized at the approach of World War II, he was affected in Beirut to the staff of general Weygand. After the Armistice of 22 June 1940, he returned to France where he was now a teacher at the lycée Thiers in Marseille from 1940 to 1943, an assistant to dean Charles Dugas at the Faculty of Arts of Lyon, then he taught at the Collège-lycée Ampère in Lyon 1945.
On 1 October 1946, he became, with Jean Starcky, one of the first residents of the French Institute for Archaeology in Beirut, which has founded the same year by Henri Seyrig and specialized in research on the Hellenized Middle East.
On his return to France in 1951, he was an assistant in Greek language at the University of Lille 19511953. He defended a thèse d'État ès lettres in 1953, entitled Le relief cultuel gréco-romain : contribution à l'histoire de l'art de l'Empire romain, and was recruited as a university professor in Lille 19531963. He was Director of Historic Antiquities of North-Picardie 19531968. He joined the Faculté des lettres de Paris as Greek language and literature professor 19631970 and then became a professor of art history and archeology at the Institute of Art and Archaeology of the Pantheon-Sorbonne University 1970-1973.
He returned to Beirut as Director of the Institut français darchéologie du Proche-Orient IFAPO 1973-1980, and in this context, engaged into considerable activity during the Lebanese Civil War, to protect the interests of the Institute and give it a new impetus, including by opening branches in Amman Jordan and Damascus Syria Since 2003, the IFAPO is a component of the current Institut français du Proche-Orient IFPO.
After his mission was accomplished, he resumed his position at the Institut d'art et d'archéologie then took his academic retirement in 1982.
For 19 years he directed the academic journal Syria dedicated to archaeology published by the Institut Français du Proche-Orient 19781997.
He was appointed member of the Scientific Council of the École française d'Extrême-Orient in 1992.
Sources
Fonds EW - Ernest Will. Archéologie du Proche-Orient hellénistique et romain, MAE René-Ginouvès, université Paris Ouest Nanterre.
Roger Agache and Jean-Claude Blanchet, « Nécrologie d'Ernest Will 1913-1997 », Revue archéologique de Picardie, n°3-4, 1997, p. 57, Read online
« Bibliographie d'Ernest Will 19131997 », Syria, volume 75, 1998, p. 18, Read online
Mélanges offerts à Ernest Will, Université de Lille III, Villeneuve d'Ascq, 1984, 430 p. special issue of Revue du Nord, n°260
Georges Le Rider, Notice sur la vie et les travaux de Ernest Will, Palais de l'Institut, Paris, 1999, 10 p.
Théodore Rieger, « Ernest Will », in , vol. 40, p. 42-43
Maurice Sartre, « Will Ernest 1913-1997 », Encyclopædia Universalis Read online.
Works
1949: La Tour funéraire de Palmyre, Paris, Paul Geuthner.
1955: Le Relief cultuel gréco-romain : contribution à l'histoire de l'art de l'Empire romain, Paris, E. de Boccard.
1992: Les Palmyréniens, Paris, Armand Colin.
1995: De l'Euphrate au Rhin, somme de contributions, IFAPO.
References
Category:1913 births
Category:People from Bas-Rhin
Category:1997 deaths
Category:French archaeologists
Category:École Normale Supérieure alumni
Category:Université Lille Nord de France faculty
Category:University of Strasbourg alumni
Category:Members of the Académie des Inscriptions et Belles-Lettres
Category:Officiers of the Légion d'honneur
Category:Commandeurs of the Ordre des Palmes Académiques
Category:Officiers of the Ordre des Arts et des Lettres
Category:Members of the French School at Athens | wikipedia |
Scottish Lullaby is a traditional melody that comes from the clans of the Scottish Highlands. Only the air Cdul gu lo Sleep on till dawn and not the original Scottish verses were used when a dramatization of Sir Walter Scotts Guy Mannering was presented. For this, Sir Walter Scott composed the verses Lullaby for an Infant Child.
The history of the Highlands and the wars by which the clans were able to preserve their independence are evoked in this first song for an infant. The dream is of the trumpet and the ideal is manhood. The lines of this lullaby are familiar to English speakers as a nursery rhyme. They are a curtailed version of Sir Walter Scotts verses.
Lyrics
Blow the wind, blow;
Swift and low;
Blow the wind o'er the ocean.
Breakers rolling to the coastline;
Bringing ships to harbor;
Gulls against the morning sunlight;
Flying off to freedom!
References
Category:Scottish music | wikipedia |
Dissolution of Carbon Dioxide in water
It may sound like an old problem but I don't find a good reference.
Gases are physically soluble in water. Given a water column without any salts solved in it. Air with a given concentration $c\_0$ (maybe as mol $\text{CO}\_2$ per litre or whatever unit) of carbon dioxide gas is given in the water. The gas solves (and a part of it reacts with the water to carbonic acid). Finally the process comes to an end when equilibrium is (asymptotically?) reached. Then the chemical potential in any high is balanced and Henrys's law at the surface is fulfilled.
The effective chemical potential depends from high $h$ above the ground of the column $\mu\left(h\right)=\mu\_{0}+mgh$, where $m$ is the mass of one molecule.
So one would expect a carbon dioxide concentration $c(h)$ that depends from $h$.
The question is:
* Is this right an then, what is this $c(h)$-dependence?
I would guess formally the same as the barometric density distribution in the atmosphere?
* Are there any measurements?
As said, this sounds nearly like a textbook example. But where could I search for it?
Yes, if the system is in thermodynamic equilibrium, gravity will cause gradient of concentration of the dissolved molecule in water, the same as in atmosphere (with concentration being exponentially decreasing function of height). This is easy to see both from statistical physics laws and from general thermodynamics.
Given the system is in thermodynamic equilibrium, then it has the same temperature everywhere, and the molecules should be distributed in accordance with the Boltzmannian probability proportional to $e^{-\frac{mgh}{k\_BT}}$. That implies concentration profile that decreases exponentially with height $h$. The highest concentration is at the bottom.
The other argument is as follows. Let's assume $\text{CO}\_2$ in atmosphere outside the column is described by the familiar exponential function of height. Let the water column of height $H$ be held in place due to a capillary dipped in water reservoir: the top is open and exposed to the atmosphere, and the bottom is also open and surrounded by the water at the ground level. In equilibrium, the top layer of water (with the shape of concave meniscus, or the "U shape") has to be in equilibrium with the thin concentration of $\text{CO}\_2$ in the atmosphere at height $H$, which we can denote $c\_a(H)$; so the concentration in the water is $c\_w(H) = kc\_a(H)$, where $k$ is the constant of proportionality for $\text{CO}\_2$ and $\text{H}\_2\text{O}$ (due to Henry's law). And the bottom has to be in equilibrium with concentration of $\text{CO}\_2$ in the reservoir, which in equilibrium is $kc\_a(0)$. Thus concentration of $\text{CO}\_2$ in the capillary has to decrease with height. Now, imagine we close the capillary at the bottom so it becomes a thin and tall vessel with a closed bottom and an open end. This will change nothing in the equilibrium state of the system: the water height in the capillary will stay the same, and the concentration of the $\text{CO}\_2$ molecules at every height will stay the same.
You may say, but this only fixes two points, the top and the bottom, what about the intermediate heights? Maybe the concentration there is different from the exponential law?
We can put any water layer in the column at any height $h$ in contact with the atmosphere via very small opening in the wall, so the capillary effect won't allow the atmosphere to be sucked in and destroy the equilibrium. Then the same argument applies: the water in the opening is in thermodynamic equilibrium with the atmosphere at that height, so concentration of $\text{CO}\_2$ in the water has to be $c\_w(h) = kc\_a(h)$.
It is hard to find a water column high enough to observe this easily. Ocean has a high water column, but it is not in thermodynamic equilibrium. Nevertheless, at great depths >1km, concentration of atmospheric gases increases slightly with depth, but this has a lot to do with the fact water on the surface gets oxygenated and cooled by the atmosphere, then it falls down due to its higher density. The increasing concentration with depth is thus not a manifestation of thermodynamic equilibrium.
At equilibrium the entire column will have the same concentration and that concentration will satisfy Henry's law. The only way to have a concentration gradient is if you have a *steady* removal of CO$\_2$ inside the column. The reaction with water you mention cannot be run for ever because they depend on the finite amount of water in the column and eventually will reach equilibrium.
The process you are discussing sounds like a standard problem of diffusion and reaction and is discussed in chemical engineering textbooks.
| stackexchange/physics |
Why does gas particle velocity affect rate of effusion?
I understand why smaller particles have more velocity, but I don't understand what velocity has to do with the rate of effusion:
My reasoning is thus:
1. Pressure is the number of impacts of particles in a given period of time.
2. If He and Ar are both in balloons at, say, 1.5 atm, both gasses have the same average Kinetic energy but He is moving faster (because it's smaller). Simple enough.
3. If both gasses are subject to the same pressure, they have the same number of impacts over a given area over a given period of time.
4. This should mean that each gas has an equal number of particles approaching a hole over a given period of time.
5. If a hole is big enough for both particles to fit through, the rate of effusion should be the same, since the same number of particles are approaching the exit hole.
For an analogy to explain my thinking ... if you have two lanes of cars going through a checkpoint, one has 30 cars per minute at 50 miles per hour and one has 30 cars per minute at 30 miles per hour, the resulting number of cars through the checkpoint should still be 30 cars per minute in each lane, regardless of their velocity.
My book (and professor, and Wikipedia...) say that it is the higher velocity of He particles that cause the faster rate of effusion; however, from my reasoning, that doesn't make sense except with small enough holes where the size of the particles would affect, i.e. the holes are very small in size and He could fit through but Ar could not, or there are simply *more* holes that He could fit through.
But Graham's law is referring to pinholes, which should be large enough for either atom to fit through.
So why does velocity affect the rate of effusion?
Your point 1 is mistaken (or incomplete)
$$P=\frac{F}{A}=\frac1A\frac{\Delta p}{\Delta t}=\frac1A\times\frac{2nmv}{\Delta t}$$
This is assuming all particles hit perpendicularly (you can always modify this for all colissions by taking the average component of velocity in the perpendicular direction).
So, pressure is proportional to number of impacts, **mass, and velocity**. Pressure is *not simply "number of impacts", rather it is a combination of number of impacts with other stuff*. Since the energies are equal, we can say that $v\propto m^{-\frac12}$, and we get $P\propto n m^{\frac12}$. P is also the same, so $n\propto\frac1{\sqrt m}\propto v$.
Thus, when avg KE and pressure are the same, rate of diffusion is inversely proportional to square root of mass.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Ullmann's Reaction (similar to Wurtz) - aryl chloride with deactivating groups - stability of free radical
Ullmann's Reaction:
-------------------
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/G4Lxf.png)
Mechanism:
----------
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/i2Kbu.png)
Question:
---------
My textbook says with $\ce{X} = \ce{Cl}$, the reaction gives less yield compared to using $\ce{X} = \ce{I}$ since $\ce{Cu}$ is not as reactive as $\ce{Na}$ ($\ce{C - I}$ bond is weak).
But if aryl halides with substituents such as $\ce{NO\_2}$ are used, they can help in obtaining good yield.
What I observe from both the mechanisms is that adding deactivating groups in the ortho or para position relative to the halogen should actually give lesser yield since the deactivating group would cause a partial positive charge to exist on the $\alpha$-carbon hence destabilizing the free radical intermediate.
Can anyone clarify my doubt? I suspect my last argument to be wrong regarding the $\alpha$-carbon. The $\alpha$-carbon is already electron-deficient and the partial positive charge should make it worse?
Courtesy: <http://www.name-reaction.com/ullmann-reaction>
Your assumption that electron-withdrawing groups destabilize radicals is wrong. Radicals are in fact stabilized by both electron-withdrawing and electron-donating groups and even more so if both types are attached to the same carbon atom ([captodative effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captodative_effect)).
I modified an image from Ian Fleming's Molecular Orbitals where you have the proof. In the image you can see that the combination of the carbonyl group's (which is electron-withdrawing) pi bonding/antibonding pair of orbitals with the p orbital of the radical results in an overall decrease in energy:
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/bBBoI.png)
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Highlighted by cascading spinels and diamonds paved Art Deco patterns, the Joy de Lumière creation is sparkling like a crystal-clear night. It reminds the majestic jewelry of the empresses lavishly embellished with precious stones and diamonds that the Maison Boucheron reinterprets with a contemporary twist.
Watch in white gold 750 / 1000 set with diamonds and black spinels.
Dial set with one diamond.
Twisted bracelet in black spinels.
Case diameter : 18 mm. | slim_pajama |
Why will two bubbles floating on water surface attract each other?
Two identical bubbles floating on water surface will form clumps, according to the "cheerio effect". But what's the detail about the force? It's necessary to calculate the shape of water surface, in order to find the force?
[Vella and Mahadevan](http://www.seas.harvard.edu/softmat/downloads/2005-13.pdf) explain the effect as follows:
>
> For simplicity, we consider
> the latter case schematically illustrated in Fig. 2, although
> the explanation of the clustering of many bubbles is similar.
> Here, the air–water interface is significantly distorted by the
> presence of the wall the well-known meniscus effect, and
> because the bubble is buoyant, there is a net upward force
> due to gravity, Fg , on the bubble. Because it is constrained
> to lie at the interface, however, the bubble cannot simply rise
> vertically, and instead does the next best thing by moving
> upward along the meniscus. [..........]
> A single bubble will deform the interface just as the presence
> of a wall does, although for a different reason and to a
> lesser extent. In the case of the bubble, it can only remain at
> the interface because the buoyancy force, which tends to
> push the bubble out of the liquid, is counterbalanced by the
> surface tension force, which opposes the deformation of the
> interface and hence acts to keep the bubble in the liquid.
> These two competing effects reach a compromise where the
> bubble is partially out of the liquid but the interface is
> slightly deformed. This deformation is sufficiently significant
> to influence other bubbles nearby, which move upward along
> the meniscus and so spontaneously aggregate.
>
>
>
They also provide an answer for the force of interaction between two particles with a Radius $R$:
$$F(l)=-2 \pi R B^{5/2}\Sigma^2 K\_1\left(\frac{l}{L\_c}\right)$$
With Bond number $B= \frac{R^2}{L^2\_c}$, $L\_c=\sqrt{\gamma/\rho g}$, $\Sigma$ a dimensionless Archimedes weight parameter and $K\_1$ a first order Bessel function.
For more information, consult the paper.
Bubbles don't just attract on the surface of water but also under water below the surface. Bubbles attract because they emit / produce ultrasonic waves which leads to the Bjerknes attraction phenomenon. Read 'The Acoustic Bubble' by Timothy Leighton. Gerald Pollack's 'The Fourth Phase of Water' also provides some good information, but basically, bubbles attract because of mechanical ultrasonic vibrations.
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Why is the 2nd ionization energy of chloride similar to that of sulfur?
The first ionization energy of chloride is significantly greater than that of sulfur. I suggest that this is very expected as the effective nuclear charge of chloride is higher and additionally, sulfur has even more electron-electron repulsion due to advent of paired electrons in 2p orbitals. However I am not too sure on why the 2nd ionization energies are almost the same.
The second ionization of chlorine leaves $[\text{Ne}]3s^23p^3$ where the $3p$ subshell is half-filled with one electron per orbital and gives a favorable exchange energy. With sulfur this relatively favorable configuration is achieved instead after the first ionization, the second ionization of sulfur breaks the half-subshell and is thus less favorable.
The effect of the half-filled subshell can be seen elsewhere, as well. The chart below ([reference](https://www.shodor.org/chemviz/ionization/students/background.html)) shows trends in first ionization energies. Counting backwards from the third peak (argon) we see that phosphorus exceeds sulfur violating the usual rules based on effective nuclear charge. The first ionization of sulfur gives the half-filled $3p$ subshell after removing the electron, whereas the first ionization of phosphorus would have to break that configuration. The half-filled shell effect beats effective nuclear charge here.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Hetalia - Axis Powers 1. Chapter 1
**Okay, this will make way more sense if you read "_To End This Way_" by Ersatz Writer. This is continuation of their fic, and I was given permission to write this. You should probably read the other fic because it WILL explain background information.** Also, you should thank my tumblr followers. (This is also kinda a present for them.)** I don't own Hetalia. (Or this idea really.)**
**Warning: Some readers may feel triggered by: Child abuse, mentions of heavy drinking, somewhat detailed panic attacks, murder, and England's eyebrows.**
* * *
Brothers were suppose to stay together. They were suppose to protect each other. Still, in the end that rule couldn't stop fate. In the beginning, Canada and America were brothers. Then the revolt happened...
_"Why shouldn't I do something?" The American asked the stranger standing there. "There's no way I can pay why Iggy wants. So I'll just point that out and everything will go back to normal."_
_ "By throwing tea into the harbor? I understand that you're having trouble with the taxes, but is this the way to be asking for them to stop? Brother, this idea of yours is insanity." The other man shook his head slowly. "It's not going to end well for anyone. You may be his favorite, but he'll be more then glad to make an example of you."_
_ "You shouldn't be so worried, Canada. Once Britain realized how serious I am, he'll understand." The ghost of a smile seemed to flicker in the warm candle light. "However you should leave. As much as I want you to stay, I don't want you to be caught up in my problems."_
Both boys knew that outside the wood walls, they would never breath a word of what happened on that night. Not when Britain pulled his troops out of the American colonies.
_The heavy cabin door slammed open, the night surrounding the man like a cloak. "I came as soon as I could. You have no idea how lucky I am, do you? Do have any idea how upset our brother is with you? He's been keeping an eye on me, thinking that I want to be part of whatever the Devil you're doing!" He shivered and shook, for it was a chilly night, and he was seething in anger._
_ The other man stood up by from the desk. He was a mirror image of the man who stood before him. "I thought you decided to renounce me also, Canada. Thank the Heavens that you didn't." America said simply, with his shoulders sagging and dark circles under those once blue eyes._
_ "You are still my brother, and England is still both of ours. You should do well to remember that." Canada's tone was sharp, cutting straight to the point. "And you would do well to get more sleep while you're at, eh? You look like Death itself. And when was the last time you ate a warm meal?" He fretted over the other colony and then wrapped his arms around his brother in a loving hug._
_ America sank into the warm embrace. "I didn't want this to happen. But I think I know how to fix this ungodly mess." He returned the hug, and then stood up straight. "One of my people had an idea. We're forming a group of men, one that will talk to Parliament and the king to help reach a compromise. We even have a name for it. We're going to call it the Continental Congress." He grinned, the kind of grin that looked like it came from a place of broken dreams and the madness of desperation. _
_ "It's going to work Brother, it has too." The northern man bit his lower lip and wondered if his dear brother could hear the lie in his voice. "I'm sure that our brother will be most acceptable to the proposal." Thankfully, the fireplace was dim, and needed more fuel. Otherwise, America might have seen past a facade that he normally would haven't believed if it was daylight._
Needless to say, England was not open to negotiations. Then there was a revolt. Canada stayed out of it until the very end. He tried to hard to avoid the family squabble, only to have Britain order the unthinkable.
It would be raining; the year would be 1775.
Death was everywhere, and America was going to die.
_"Come back with me America." England murmured and knelled down the to fallen nation. "You can still be my little brother. You can still be part of my Empire." He offered his hand out, the two meeting eye to eye. "I won't punish you... I promise." Canada had to strain his ear to hear the last part, and he was sure he misheard something._
_ His brother was on the ground, with mud and blood ruining what was once a pristine outfit. For a moment, it looked like America would say yes. Then everything would be alright, and all would be well._
_ But alas, America had a country's dignity. "Never!" He spat out, using the last of his strength to have his weak, shaking arm slap away his life._
_ Canada found himself taking a sharp breath inwards, like the other colonies Britain had called upon when France joined in. (But France had leave, and for that second betrayal, Canada would never forgive him.) But he was the only one praying he wouldn't start crying now. _
_ England stood up, and looked down on America. "England..." America whispered, perhaps for forgiveness, perhaps not. Either way, the empire paid no heed to it. He walked back to him army, and gestured for Canada._
_ "Do it quickly." Canada couldn't go against such a order, and certainly not at that moment. So, he raised his musket, aimed it at his twin's chest. His hands shook, he blink a tear out. Hopefully no one would notice it from the rain._
_ American's eyes widened. Those eye which were once so happy and innocent. But now those eyes were so dull and lifeless. Canada flinched, his fingers tightening around the trigger..._
_** BANG!**_
It takes a nation to end another nation's life. Canada never could remember what happen next, but Scotland told him everything. About how Canada fell in front of the corpse and cried while cradling it like a babe, about how it took Ireland and Scotland to tear the dead nation away from the colony's arms, and about how the said colony screamed and fought like an animal against anyone who tried to even touch the body. (Ireland had two nasty black eyes to prove.)
Scotland also told him that Britain never looked backed, not even when the musket was fired. Once Britain turned around and started to walk away, he never turned back. That was when Canada promised himself that he would avenge his brother.
_"One day Brother... I promise you that..."_
~~~Line break~~~
"Canada, I want to talk to you." The emerald eyed man waltzed into the study. It was a simple study, just a desk, bookshelf, and a few chairs in the large room, giving it an airy feel to it. "Is this a good time?" A polite way to demand to give Britain his fullest attention and stop whatever he was doing, mused Canada.
"Of course Britain. Why wouldn't it be?" Canada put down the papers he was going over and gestured to the seat in front of him. "What is it would would like to discus?"
"I'm planning to change a few things with my colonies. First off, we're going to need to make an agreement on taxes." Britain cut straight to the point, ignoring the usual formalities. "Then..." He hesitated, then recollected himself and smiled. "Well chap, we'll just cross that bridge when come to it, eh?"
Canada nodded. "Of course, Brother." He replied, with all emotion drained from his face. Come to think of it, that was Canada's main expression for the past few days. Ever since the funeral at least. "There's nothing I don't trust you with. So I beg of you to do the same." Starring straight into Britain's eyes, and allowing a miniscule smile to be made, Canada lied in a marvelous way.
"Of course I trust you, Canada. It's not like you'll ever attempt to revolt like some people, now is it?" Britain asked, meaning for the question to cut as deep as it did. Canada wondered if it hurt him to say it as much as it hurt himself. "Now, with America gone, I need more money for Parliament. So, instead of having one or two bear most of it like before, I want someone to help me divide it up evenly between everyone."
(Of course Britain didn't think of Canada first. Nor did he need help dividing up taxes. Still, it should say something that he tried to fix whatever happened between them.)
_It was such a nice day. Clear blue skies with not a cloud in them, warm enough to make one sleepy, but not enough to be unbearably hot out. It should have been raining, Canada wanted it to rain so badly. In the rain, it would have been easier to hide hid tears from the other. In the rain, it would feel proper to mourn. _
_ America would never want anyone to be sad on such a beautiful day, but he was gone, so his opinion shouldn't have counted. Funerals were meant to be cried at. Canada shouldn't have had to cry out all his tears beforehand. It shouldn't have been seen as an act of oppression to cry for his brother, now gone forever. _
"Okay, now that we've wrapped that up, I want to talk to you about something important." Britain's eyes sparked with... Something. Canada wasn't sure what, but he knew that it probably wasn't good. "I know that some have been upset at my choices recently, and I want to mend that. So, I'm going to have all of my colonies start living at my house."
A soft gasp emitted from Canada. "Oh, really? Are you sure it's a good idea?" He asked, trying to cause doubt. "I mean, what if-"
"Canada." The Brit held up a hand. "This isn't a request. You ought to start packing your bags, I want you to leave with me as soon as possible." He sighed, and asked in a softer voice, "Please, don't make a big fuss."
For a moment, Britain looked like the man who'd go over to his house just to yell at Big Brother France for a few hours. For a moment, Britain didn't look like the stranger he had become to everyone. For a moment, it looked like Britain hadn't ordered the death of his favorite brother.
And maybe, that is why Canada agreed without putting up a fight. Because, just for a moment, Britain looked human again.
* * *
**A/N: Thanks for reading this! I've been working on this for for a little less then seven months! I'm not finished, but I do have a four of five or the chapters done, and everything's been plotted out. I'm not going to be using a specific era, but the general setting is around the Victorian Era or sometime after. I hope you enjoyed this! Please left a review in the box below!**
2. Chapter 2
**This is a **continuation **of **"_To End This Way_" by Ersatz Writer. **I was given permission to write this. **I don't own Hetalia. (Or some parts of this idea.)********
* * *
Canada stared into the mirror, silently speaking to his reflection. The door creaked open, as a man poked his head in.
"'Ello there, Canada." The redhead smiled and opened the door the rest of the way. "Hope I'm not bein' a bother, but breakfast ought to be ready soon."
Canada turned and faced him. "Don't worry Scotland, I wasn't doing anything important." The blond gave a weak smile as he rubbed his amethyst eyes. "I was just fixing my hair. Why would you be a bother to me? You've been fantastic to me and-"
"Canada. Yer ramblin' again." Scotland cover a the few feet between them with his prideful stride and clasped a hand on the teen's shoulder. "If you feel that bad, Ah can cover for you. I'm sure that the boys wouldn't mind spending the day with me."
The aforementioned teen looked up. "Why wouldn't I be fine? Everything's fine, nothing's wrong, what you make you think anything's wrong?" He asked in a shrill voice, then winced at how he sounded to himself. "... Is it really that noticeable?" He hesitated before asking.
"Naw, only people who'll notice will be the ones that actually know you, laddie. Now head up and chin out, because we've got a meal to eat." Canada barely had time to process the words before the two devils of the household came bouncing in.
"Canada, Scotland! Everyone is waiting for you two! Aren't you hungry? I'm hungry, but we're not allowed to say grace until everyone's at the table!" Australia's shouts echoed off the wall while New Zealand stood off the the side, nodding in agreement. The two boys had come into Britain's care some years before, and since the nation was to busy running an empire to properly raise two hyperactive children, the boys were often watched by Canada.
"Of course _enfants_!" Canada grinned, despite how he was feeling. "Now, how about we hurry up and not keep them waiting any longer." In turn, the boys saved Canada from himself. That was the thing about children, they make people realize how not important problems because children are selfish brats. It's not their fault, it's just the way the universe is.
Breakfast was a boring and dull thing. Thankfully for once in his life, Australia manged to read the mood and somehow inferred not to make trouble. New Zealand thankfully was the kind of child that would act out rebelliously, but only if someone else started it. Scotland didn't make any kind of comments about kilts, sheep, or a combination of the two. Ireland was too busy nursing a hangover from the night prior to actually be use(les) for anyone, and Wales... Wales was being quiet and overall just acting like she normally did. (There was all the other colonies there of course, but Canada didn't know most of them.)
If would have been perfect if Canada did not spend a disturbing about of time starring his eggs down. But no one could really blame him. It was a touchy day for the young man.
"Chap, are you alright?" It was Britain. '_Damm him, damm the dammed Brit to hell and back. It's not fair,_' thought Canada.
"Yes. I am fine, just a little tired." Lying was second nature. It was too simple to slip a smile here, raise his voice a tad there, and in the end, the results would please both parties. It was sinfully easy to weave a tale.
Still, Britain looked down worriedly. That was a sensible thing to do of course, seeing as what day it was. "Canada... I want you take a few hours to yourself today. This is an order, and I expect you to obey it. Do you understand?" Even thought the words themselves were kind, Britain's voice was cold, perhaps cold enough to make Iceland look warm and loving.
(Canada was once friends with Iceland. It was because Denmark used to bring his family along when Britain needed to discuss trade, or renew treaties. The two boys had formed a sort of friendship over time, but the Britain had a 'talk' to Denmark about 'personal' matters. Then, Iceland stopped coming over, and without any way to communicate, their friendship fell apart.)
Canada nodded, "Of course sir. I completely understand, you can count on me, eh?" The tone of the younger man's voice was just as harsh, perhaps even more so. The following minutes are a silence, except for the sound and forks bumping into plates, and food being chewed.
"Excuse me, Britain?" Australia chooses to interrupt the beautiful almost-silence, "Why is Canada getting the day off?" Everyone else froze, Canada heard the sound of silverware clattering to the plates, but it didn't matter. The universe seemed to pause, just waiting for Britain to make his move.
"Australia?" "Yes sir?" "For being impetuous, there will be a punishment."
At that, the boy's jaw fell open as he tried to make amends for the unknown sin he had committed, "Please! Britain, I'm sorry! I don't need to be punished! I'm sorry, I promise! I won't do it ever again, I swear! I prom-"
"Promises are nothing more then empty words that waste air." Britain's fist echoed from hitting the table. "Pain, however, lasts. So your punishment is no meals for the rest of the day and ten whips. Don't make make me go up to fifteen." Rebuttal was quick and harsh.
"Yes sir," Australia hung his head, "I understand, sir."
'_Punishment for trying to learn about his world. What a perfect way to ruin a life. Oh he truly did a number on good ol' Britain, didn't you?_' Canada mulled the concept over in his mind.
~~~Line Break~~~
Canada keeled before the stone. "Good morning, Brother." He said in a tone that could be considered emotionless, but the tear running down his cheek betrayed that. "Isn't it a beautiful day? I wish you were here to see it, but alas, it appears that you're sleeping late again." A dark chuckle escaped from his lips. "Anyway, I've come to wish you a happy birthday. I've even brought flowers." He laid a mixed bouquet of harebell and anemone down before the unforgiving stone. _(Note to self: both flowers mean regret/sadness.)_
"You know, at breakfast, Britain told us that promises are nothing more then empty words. I don't believe him though. I think he just doesn't have a good experience with them, you know?" Canada shook with a small, silent sob. "Oh yes, that's right I don't think I've told you... He doesn't want to be called England anymore. He thinks that Britain is more imposing on us. I don't mind that anymore though, I did at first though. But now I have scars. Scars which tell me not to care about names. Because names are just a words you know? And words are just empty things that take up space, right?"
"I'm sorry though. I'm so, so, _so_ sorry. But I don't think you'd want me to mope around forever, would you? You'd just hit me or make a joke. That's why I've stopped coming to visit you so often. I'll still do it, but there's people who need me. My people need me to live in the present. There's children that need me to be there for them. Remember when I told you about Australia and New Zealand? They're still about the same age as last time I visited, maybe a little older though... Sometimes, I'm afraid that they're going to be children forever. That they'll never grow up, but instead just get so used to being under someone's thumb..." A hand was raised to muffle a sob that couldn't be silenced.
"But your people need me too. I've been keeping an eye on them. It's getting worse there. Taxes are raised, more little revolts break out, Britain sends more soldier's to take care of it, taxes are raised to take care of the expenses of sending soldier's across the sea and whatnot. Sounds like hell, eh? I've even heard that the Boston Bay has turned red, since the cemeteries' have run out of ground to bury the bodies, so the poor folk just toss in into the bay. I remember my promise though... It will get better, your people will thrive. I swear to God, I will make it happen." Canada stood, and cased one last long look at the headstone before walking back to the mansion. (Or was it a prison? Canada had a tendency to forget which it was.)
**America**
**Beloved Brother, Brave Warrior, Free Till the End**
For Canada, today just happened to be July 4.
_"One day Brother... I promise you that I will free your people..."_
* * *
**A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm really happy that so many people reviewed/favorited/followed on the first chapter! I hope that I don't disappoint any of you. I want to add that the flowers that were mentioned mean regret/sadness. (I should know. I looked it up myself.) Also, the French word '_enfants_' means children. Or at least that's what Google Translate told me.**
**Review in the comment box below, maybe?**
3. Chapter 3
**This is a **continuation **of **"_To End This Way_" by Ersatz Writer. **I was given permission to write this. **I don't own Hetalia. (Or concept of this idea.)********
* * *
"New Zealand, go get me the medicine, will you? Australia, stop wiggling around! I need to clean and wrap it!" Canada gently scolded the boy, who was laying on his stomach, writhing in pain. New Zealand nodded, and disappeared. The boy wanted to help, but at the same time, he didn't want to be there any longer then he had to be.
"Please, can't we skip cleaning it. It hurts when you clean it!" The room was light, airy, and large, with a several cabinets filled with various types of medicine, and a clean cot in a corner. Australia was lying face down on it, vainly attempting to win a losing battle. The poor child's back was covered in angry red welts, making sickening patterns with thin, faint white lines, all up against a tan background.
Canada sighed, after all there wasn't much to be done about the pain. Of course the household did have drugs such as rum and opium, but those were things that Canada felt uncomfortable giving those to a child. "Here, bit down on this. It'll help." Australia reluctantly took a spare towel from him as New Zealand returned, with the needed medicine in had. Which was promptly shoved a breath away from his face.
"Really? I understand you're a child, but couldn't you have said something?" Canada asked, shaking his head back and forth, a bitter smiles etched upon his face. New Zealand shrugged, and waved the bottle in the air.
New Zealand didn't talk to almost anyone. It wasn't that he was mute, he just was to shy (or terrified) to talk to anybody but Australia. Though if someone else was in the room he would whisper his thoughts to the elder boy who would respond back. Aside from that, he seemed to be as normal as any boy could be in their situation, even a bit cheerful. Perhaps that was just his way to deal with his lot in life.
"Okay, I'm going to start to clean the wound, okay?" A nod later, and muffled screams could be heard through the doorway.
Once the cleaning was done, New Zealand leaned down to his friend and whispered something into his ear. In response, Australia lifted his head up and glared, "Zee, I don't care if my back looks like a quilt. Everything hurts. I just wanna go to bed." Forest green eyes filled with tears. "I didn't even get to finish breakfast this morning. I'm hungry."
"Now, now, Aussie, I need you to be a grown up right now. I know it hurts, but you need to tell me what happened." Canada interrupted, wearing a stoic mask. Britain never personally attended the punishments, but instead humans would give them out. It was always possible that...
... No. Canada was sure _that_ would never happen. But what if the human didn't stop at ten whips? What if Australia decided to talked back again, and the human just decided to hurt the child in a different way? Millions upon millions of thoughts like those raced in Canada's mind. What if-
"I was whipped ten times. Trust me, I counted. I didn't even pass out this time too! ... That is a good thing, right? Canada?" Thank goodness. If anything happened to the boys, Canada couldn't image what he would do.
While Canada was about to cause himself a panic attack, his hands wrapped the injured boy's torso, helped him stand up, and made sure both children were paying attention to himself.
"Aussie, Zee, listen to me. Don't ever draw Britain's attention to yourself, do you understand? I don't care what's it about, I need you two to stop doing it. Promise me you will." Canada's voice took a hard, metallic tone it it.
"But Britain says promises are nothing more then empty words." New Zealand nodded, with worry etched upon both of their faces. That wasn't their Canada, who would help them feel better, sneak desserts, or read bedtime stories. This was a scary Canada, one that was as scared as they were.
"Promise me." Haunted violet eyes peered into their souls. "I need you both to promise me. I don't want either of you to get hurt again, understand me?"
The almost brunette stood on his tiptoes and whispered into the true brunette's ear. "Zee says he promises too. And I promise too, Canada. Or, at least I'll try to." Australia hastily added on.
Canada grabbed the boys, pulling them into a tight embrace. "Th-Thank you." He said plainly, with tear rolling down his face. It may have been weak for him to cry, but he couldn't lose them.
~~~Line Break~~~
The months had flown past, turning a full bloomed summer into a withering fall. The zephyrs were at it, and the sun was out. Dying green-brown lawn rolled along until a hansom brick wall cut it off. The wall penned in an even taller mansion, practically a castle. The only way in or out of the mansion was to walk through intimidating iron gates. There were trees of course, but they were planted and trimmed in such a way so it would be impossible to be used for climbing over.
From the outside, the estate looked like heaven. Unfortunately, appearances lie and the estate was truly hell for all those who lived on it. But life is woe, and a nation's life is no different.
"Eh, Australia, where's New Zealand?" Canada looked up from the book he was enjoying to inquire about one of his charges. Another soft breeze passed by, barely noticeable, but still sending shivers down spines.
Australia looked around, confusion apparent on his face. "Drat. I knew we should have gotten a cowbell for him! But you said that's be silly, and losing him was a rare occurrence! Even though it happens all the time! I told you so!" Australia dropped from of the tree he was climbing and starting calling around for New Zealand.
"Yes, I did say no. Mainly because of the look of horror and shame on his face when you suggested it. And stop climbing the trees. You'll hurt yourself." Canada rubbed his temples while sighing. A child who was for all intends and purposes mute, did tend to disappear easily. Perhaps a cowbell would have been a good idea after all.
Canada and Australia continued to call for the missing child in a similar manner for almost an hour, but to no avail. It was an oft occurrence unfortunately, but was could be done about it? New Zealand couldn't get off the grounds, and he'd always appeared later. "Australia, go tell Scotland that we misplaced your playmate again." It would be better off to warn a few other to keep a lookout for the missing child. After all, what if Britain found the child breaking a rule and New Zealand injured himself as a result? Children were clumsy, delicate things; it would be a true shame if one was _damaged_.
* * *
**Here's the new chapter. It's actually already been written up for awhile,** **I just kinda sorta forgot it existed. **
**Not much else to add, but where the heck did New Zealand go? **
**Is it actually important to the plot? **
**Should you leave a review? (Yes, you should. In fact, you ought to do that now.)****
**
End file.
| fanfiction |
in recent years intensive investigations of surface plasmon polaritons ( spps ) have been made in the promising context of nanophotonics .
this research is actually motivated by the current trends for optical device miniaturisation and by the possibilities of merging aspects of nanophotonics with those of electronics .
spps are electromagnetic waves bounded to dielectric - metal interface .
as surface waves , spps are exponentially damped in the directions perpendicular to the interface @xcite .
furthermore , spps could be used to transfer optical information in a two dimensional ( 2d ) environment .
this appealing property can be used for optical addressing of different 2d optical systems and nanostructures located at a dielectric / metal interface .
actually several 2d spp devices including passive nanostructures including mirrors or beam splitter and active elements like molecules or quantum dots are currently under development and investigation .
developments such as these raise the prospect of a new branch of photonics using spps , for which the term `` plasmonics '' emerged @xcite .
+ however , for experimental investigations of optical devices an important characteristic of spp modes is that their spatial extent is governed and defined by the geometry of the nanoelements rather that by the optical wavelength @xcite .
this consequently opens possibilities for breaking the diffraction limit but requires instruments of observation adapted essentially to the subwalength regime and being capable of imaging the propagation of spps in their 2d environment .
usually the analysis of the subwalength regime implies necessarily near field optical ( nfo ) methods @xcite able to collect the evanescent ( i. e. , non radiative ) components of the electromagnetic fields associated with spps . however , when the metal film on which the 2d optical elements are built is thin enough ( i. e .
, with a thickness below 80 - 100 nm ) and when the subtratum optical constant ( usually glass ) is higher than the one of the superstratum medium an other possibility for analyzing spp propagation occurs .
this possibility is based on the detection of coherent leaking of spps through the substratum .
such a far - field optical method is called leakage radiation microscopy ( lrm ) @xcite and allows indeed a direct quantitative imaging and analysis of spp propagation on thin metal films .
+ the aim of this article is to present a short overview of recent progress in the field of spp imaging using lrm . in a first part of this work we will describe the theoretical principles underlying lrm . in the second part we will discuss modern leakage radiation methods and illustrate the lrm potentialities by analyzing few experiments with spp waves interacting with 2d plasmonic devices .
in order to describe the theoretical mechanisms explaining leakage radiation it will be sufficient for the present purpose to limit our analysis to the case of a metal film of complex permittivity @xmath0 ( @xmath1 is the pulsation ) sandwiched between two dielectric media of permittivity @xmath2 ( substrate ) and @xmath3 ( superstratum ) . this system is theoretically simple and to a good extent experimentally accessible @xcite . in the limiting case where the film thickness @xmath4 is much bigger than the spp penetration length in the metal ( i. e. , @xmath5 nm for gold or silver in the visible domain )
one can treat the problem as two uncoupled single interfaces .
we will consider as an example the interface 0/1 ( the media 0 and 1 are located in the domain @xmath6 and @xmath7 respectively ) .
such an interface will be identified in the following with the plane @xmath8 in cartesian coordinates .
an elementary harmonic spp wave is actually a tm electromagnetic mode characterized by its pulsation @xmath9 and its magnetic field @xmath10 $ ] where the y component can be written @xmath11and where @xmath12 is the ( complex valued ) wavevector of the spp propagating in the x direction along the interface .
@xmath13}$ ] are the wave vectors in the medium j = [ 0 ( dielectric ) , 1 ( metal ) ] along the direction @xmath14 normal to the interface . by applying boundary conditions to maxwell s equations
one deduces additionally @xmath15 and @xmath16 which implies @xmath17 @xmath18 for a spp wave propagating along the x direction .
the choice of the sign convention connecting the z and x components of the wave vector is a priori arbitrary and must be done only on a physical ground .
$ ] across an interface air / gold ( thick line ) and glass / gold ( dashed line ) .
the optical wavelength considered is @xmath19 nm . the permittivity of glass is taken to be @xmath20 .
the inset shows the conventions for the axes x and z. the arrows indicate the direction of the real part of the wave vector normally and parallely to the interface.,width=302 ] indeed , due to ohmic losses in the metal we expect an exponentially decaying spp wave propagating along the interface .
this condition implies the relation @xmath21 @xcite .
this inequality is actually always fulfilled since from eq .
3 one deduces @xmath22 which is indeed positive because @xmath23 . by writing @xmath24
one additionally obtains the relation @xmath25 this relation fixes the sign conventions since the wave must also decay exponentially when going away from the interface in both media .
more precisely one gets @xmath26 @xmath27the product @xmath28 is positive if @xmath29 , a fact which is indeed true for silver and gold interfaces with air or glass in most of the visible optical domain .
however small negative values of eq .
8 occur for silver close to the interband region around @xmath30 .
additionally a higher value of @xmath2 will also change the sign in eq .
1 shows the behavior of the spp magnetic field close to an interface gold / air and gold / glass at the optical wavelength @xmath19 nm . at such a wavelength the conditions given by eqs .
5 - 8 impose the solutions @xmath31 the real parts of the @xmath32 components of the spp wave vector are for both media oriented in the same direction corresponding to a wave propagating from the air side to the metal side ( see inset in fig . 1 ) .
furthermore the waves are exponentially damped when going away from the interface in agreement with eq . 7 , 8 ( see fig . 1 ) . most important for us
is that the poynting vector @xcite @xmath33/2 $ ] is defined in the medium j by @xmath34e^{-2k''_x x-2k''_z z}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] on the dielectric side the energy flow is as expected oriented in the direction of @xmath35 $ ] .
however it can be shown on the metal side and for wavelengths not too close from the spectral region associated with the interband transition of gold or silver that the energy flow in the x direction is oriented oppositely to the wave vector @xmath36 $ ] since @xmath37=(k'_x\epsilon'_1+k''_x\epsilon''_1)/|\epsilon_1|^{2}$ ] is dominated by @xmath38 and since @xmath39 .
however the total energy flow in the x direction @xmath40 is oriented along @xmath41 . additionally in the z direction @xmath42=(k'_1\epsilon'_1+k''_1\epsilon''_1)/|\epsilon_1|^{2}$ ] is parallel to @xmath43 since @xmath44 dominate .
this implies in particular that the energy associated with the spp wave is absorbed by the metal during its propagation through the interface from the air side to the glass side .
it should be observed that already in the case of the ideal plasma model neglecting losses the wave vector @xmath45 is antiparallel to @xmath46 in the metal since there is no imaginary part and since @xmath47 ( see also @xcite ) . + we show in fig .
2 the curves associated with the dispersion relations of spps propagating along a gold / air and gold / glass interface respectively . fig .
2a represents the dependencies @xmath9 versus @xmath41 corresponding to eq .
2b shows the dependencies @xmath9 versus @xmath48 where @xmath49 is the propagation length of the spp waves ( for the metal optical constant we used the experimental values given in @xcite ) .
the typical back bending around @xmath50 corresponds to the resonance associated with the bound electrons and the interband transition ( for a good discussion see @xcite ) . far away from the interband
the real part of the dispersion is close to the asymptotic light lines : we speak about zenneck surface modes by opposition to fano and evanescent modes existing close to the interband @xcite . with @xmath51 .
the light cones corresponding to an optical wave propagating in air and glass ( i. e. , in the bulk medium ) are represented by a thin and thick continuous line respectively .
the back bending at @xmath52 nm correspond to the interband resonance .
( b ) imaginary part of the dispersion relations showing the evolution of @xmath48 with @xmath51 . the damping is higher for the glass / gold interface.,width=302 ] an important feature occurs close to this interband transition since the slope in fig .
2a is diverging .
this means that the group velocity defined by @xmath53 is infinite .
one can qualitatively deduce that there is however no paradox with causality by remarking that the propagation length is approaching zero at such wavelengths . actually the spp life time @xmath54 defined by @xmath55 is tending as well to zero .
this is a clear signature of the absence of significant spp propagation in the interband spectral region .
this fact actually precludes faster than light information transfer by spp waves and is in agreement with relativistic causality . + a second important feature concerning fig .
2 a is that the air / gold dispersion curve is located inside of the light cone for glass defined by the equation @xmath56 where @xmath57 is a real light wave vector and @xmath20 . writing @xmath58 $ ] the wavevector of a tm ( i. e. , p polarized ) plane wave propagating away from the interfaces into the glass side one see that spps propagating at the air / metal interface can radiate into the glass substrate if the condition @xmath59\ ] ] is approximately fulfilled . here
we neglected the role of the imaginary part in eq .
similarly one can deduce that none of the spps propagating at the two interfaces can radiates into the air side .
+ in order to have a more complete analysis one must actually consider the problem with two coupled interface 0/1 ( glass / metal ) and 1/2 ( metal / air ) supporting spp waves and separated by a small distance @xmath4 .
the two interfaces are coupled by evanescent spp waves tunnelling through the metal slab .
such a mathematical problem can only be treated numerically by resolving an implicit equation . as for the single interface
this equation can be defined directly from maxwell equations @xcite .
however it is much easier and convenient for the following to remark with raether @xcite that eq
. 2 and consequently eq . 3 are obtained by finding the zeros of the numerator in the fresnel reflectivity coefficient for a tm wave coming from the dielectric side : @xmath60 with @xmath61 . actually raether @xcite reasoned with the denominator of the fresnel coefficient due to different conventions for the signs of the wave vectors @xmath62 .
however it is remarkable that the result is the same at the end of the calculations .
identically one can thus define the fresnel coefficient for a tm wave reflected by the slab 0 - 1 - 2 @xcite : @xmath63 and find the zeros of the numerator , i. e. , one can solve the implicit equation @xmath64 in order to define the spp dispersion relations . from this equation
it follows that @xmath65 as for the single interface one has an important relation between the real and imaginary parts of the spp wave vectors in the different medium : @xmath66 since we are interested only into the solutions which are decaying along the interface we ( in agreement with our previous treatment of the single interface ) suppose the condition @xmath67 satisfied .
a second important point is that due to the arbitrariness in the sign of @xmath62 there are in fact apriori 8 possibilities for writing eq .
15 . however , eq . 15 is invariant under the transformation @xmath68 .
this means that the number of apriori possibilities for the sign of @xmath62 is reduced from 8 to 4 .
this multiplicity was studied by burke _
@xcite however since for the present purpose we are looking for spp waves leaking from the air / metal interface into the glass substrate we will consider only the possibility @xmath69 the sign of @xmath70 is however arbitrary as explained above and we choose it here positive by definition .
in order to define a spp wave leaking into the glass substrate one has thus to substitute eq .
17 into eq.15 and find numerically ( i. e. , by a minimization procedure @xcite ) the zeros of the implicit equation with variable @xmath41 and @xmath71 .
: 70 nm ( dashed line curve)es , 50 nm ( continuous line with triangular markers ) , 20 nm ( continuous line with square markers ) , and 10 nm ( continuous line with circular markers).(a ) real part of the dispersion relations showing the evolution of @xmath41 with @xmath51 .
the light cone corresponding to optical wave propagating in air ( i. e. , in the bulk medium ) is represented by a continuous line .
( b ) imaginary part of the dispersion relations showing the evolution of @xmath48 with @xmath51.,width=302 ] this has to be done only in the quarter of the complex plane corresponding to @xmath72 , @xmath73 .
the quarter @xmath74 , @xmath75 must be equivalent due to symmetry and corresponds actually to decaying spp waves propagating in the negative x direction .
the two other quarters of the complex plane correspond to growing spp waves along the interface and will be rejected on a physical ground ( compare @xcite ) .
figs . 3a and
3b show numerical calculations of dispersion relations corresponding to a spp wave leaking through a gold film from the air side to the glass side .
the thickness is taken to be @xmath4=70 , 50 , 20 , and 10 nm respectively .
for the value @xmath76 nm the dispersion relation is identical to the dispersion for the single air / gold interface for semi infinite media . however , for smaller thickness the coupling between the interface increases and the propagation length decreases as shown on fig . 3 b. $ ] associated with a spp mode leaking through a gold film of thickness 50 nm ( medium 1 ) from the air side ( medium 2 ) to the glass side ( medium 0 ) .
the evolution is represented along the normal @xmath14 to the interfaces .
the optical wavelength considered is @xmath19 nm .
the two horizontal lines show the interfaces separated by 50 nm .
the inset shows the conventions for the axis x and z. the arrows indicate the direction of the real part of the wave vector normally and parallely to the interface.,width=302 ] the magnetic field associated with spp electromagnetic modes in this layered system is given by @xmath77e^{-i\omega t}\nonumber \\
e^{ik_x x}e^{ik_{2 } ( z - d)}e^{-i\omega t}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the coefficients @xmath78 are obtained by considering the boundary conditions and one finds @xmath79 as an illustration we show in fig .
4 the evolution of the real part of the magnetic field across a 50 nm thick gold slab sandwiched between the glass substratum and the air superstratum for an optical wavelength @xmath80 .
as visible the spp field is located in the vicinity of the air / gold interface and is evanescent on the air side .
this is clearly reminiscent of our former analysis of spps propagating at the single air / metal .
in addition however the wave is leaking radiatively ( i. e. , propagatively ) into the glass substrate .
however from eq . 18 and the condition @xmath81 it is clear that the leaking wave is exponentially growing in the -z direction when going away from the gold slab .
this is already the result we obtained when we considered the limit of the thick slab .
an exponentially growing wave looks non physical and is in particular associated with infinite radiated energy in the far field .
there is now the question of how to connect a growing wave with the basic reasoning giving rise to eq .
11 and the idea of phase matching between the ( real part ) of the spp wave vector with a propagative plane wave vector in the glass substrate .
however such paradoxes disappear for two reasons : first , an infinite energy occurs only because we considered an infinite interface or equivalently because we did not consider how the spp is locally launched on the metal film .
when such conditions are taken into account this paradox must disappear @xcite .
second , the spp wave defined by eq .
18 is actually a wave packet when looked at through the fourier basis of propagative tm plane waves . since in the far field ( i. e. , in the glass substrate )
one actually detect such plane waves one must do a fourier transform in order to generalize eq .
11 @xcite . instead of
11 one obtains consequently a statistical distribution of ( real ) wavevectors @xmath82 given by @xmath83 where @xmath84 defines the full width at half maximum ( fwhm ) of this lorentz distribution of radiated plane waves . by noting as usual @xmath85
the angle between the wave vectors @xmath57 of the plane waves refracted into the glass substrate and the normal @xmath14 to the interfaces one has by definition @xmath86 and the angular distribution of radiated power is in the far field given by : @xmath87
historically the first observations of leakage radiation by spp propagating on a thin metal film were reported by analyzing scattering by rough metal surfaces of light into spps @xcite .
the possibility of using rough surface to excite spps was extensively studied in the past @xcite and is based on the fact that the scattering by small defects on a flat film can represent a source of evanescent momentum sufficient for the light waves to match the spp dispersion relation .
equivalently the amount of momentum needed can be carried by grating coupling @xcite .
spp waves are subsequently emitted back into the glass substrate as leakage radiation ( see fig . 5 ) . ) .
( a ) spps are launched on the air / silver interface by using scattering by film rugosities to produce the amount of momentum necessary to match the spp dispersion relation .
spps are leaking through the glass substrate and detected using a photographic plate in the far - field .
( b ) photography showing the leakage radiation cone .
the photography is extracted from the work by h. j simon and j. k. guha @xcite ( @xmath88 opt .
comm . , elsevier , 1976 ) .
, width=226 ] this light collected on a photographic plate forms a ring - like distribution in agreement with eqs . 11 , 20 , 21 .
the fwhm of the spp wavevector distribution is in direct correspondence with the radial width of the ring @xcite .
further progress was obtained recently with the development of near field scanning optical microscopy ( nsom ) which allows the local optical excitation of evanescent waves in the vicinity of a metal surface .
such evanescent waves can carry a sufficient amount of momentum to couple to spp waves .
direct observations have indeed confirmed this principle @xcite . as an example
we show in fig .
6 an experiment in which the nsom tip launches spps on an aluminum film which after interaction with a hole excites optically some quantum dots ( qds ) located below .
the collected signal shows a specific qd luminescence spectrum @xcite . by scanning the sample around the nsom tip one can realize spp mapping since the hole acts a probe structure for the field emitted by the tip .
quantitative analysis of the total luninescence of the qds associated with a given hole show clearly that the qd excitation is mediated by spps propagating on the aluminum film . separating the nsom ( source ) from the hole ( probe ) .
the experiment is made at 4.2 k @xcite ( @xmath88 europhys .
edp , 2003).,width=226 ] fig .
6b shows the radial dependence of the collected intensity .
these results agree well with a 2d spp dipole model supposing an effective dipole located at the tip apex @xcite ( see also the discussions concerning the bethe - bouwkamp @xcite theory of diffraction by a small aperture in a metal film in @xcite ) . following this model
the spp wave can be theoretically modelled by a scalar wave @xmath89 given by @xmath90 where @xmath91 is given by eq .
3 , @xmath92 are polar coordinates on the metal film and the origin of the coordinate is taken at the dipole position .
@xmath93 is the angle between the dipole associated with the nsom tip ( parallel to the polarization of the laser beam injected in the nsom tip ) and the the radial vector @xmath94 $ ] .
this simplified model can be theoretically justified by using the green dyadic formalism @xcite and has been applied by many authors successfully @xcite to spp waves propagating in various environments .
+ several authors applied nsom methods coupled to lrm @xcite .
in particular in @xcite hecht _ et al . _ realized an optical setup using an immersion oil objective to collect the leakage radiation emitted by the nsom tip on gold or silver films ( see fig .
the image in b is taken from b. hecht _ et al . _
@xcite ( @xmath88 phys
. rev .
lett , american physical society , 1996 ) . , width=226 ]
the system shown in fig .
7 b is a 60 nm thick silver film optically excited by a nsom tip at the laser wavelength @xmath95 .
it can be shown by analyzing fig .
7 b that the radiation pattern is well described by a 2d dipole model in agreement with eq .
in particular the spp propagation length was measured and is in fair agreement with our analysis in sect . 1 .
additionally it was shown in @xcite that one can also analyze the fourier distribution of spp momentum ( given by eqs .
20 , 21 ) by defocusing the objective lens . as expected spp rings similar to the one of fig . 5 were observed .
+ , 10x , numerical aperture @xmath96 ) .
lr is collected using an immersion oil objective ( objective @xmath97 , 63x , @xmath98 ) and refocussed on the ccd camera by using an auxiliary lens .
( b ) map of spp intensity using a ccd camera to collect the lr emitted through the glass substrate .
spps are launched on a 50 nm gold film at the optical laser wavelength @xmath99 from a gold ridge ( 50 nm height , 150 nm width ) represented by a white line .
the size of the laser spot with a diameter @xmath100 @xmath101 m is represented by the white dashed circle.,width=226 ] in the same context we developed in recent years a systematic approach using far - field microscopy to analyze quantitatively the interaction between spps and plasmonic devices by using lrm .
the nanodevices studied were all fabricated by electron beam lithography ( ebl ) allowing the precise and reproducible tailoring of metal and dielectric surfaces on a lateral size dimension down to 20 nm @xcite . as an example
we show in fig .
8 b a lrm image obtained by using a gold ridge ( 50 nm height , 150 nm width ) lithographed on a 50 nm thick gold film to launch two well collimated and counter propagating spp beams .
these beams are launched by focussing a laser beam with a microscope objective ( 10x , numerical aperture @xmath96 ) on the gold ridge .
scattering by the nanostructure gives rise to evanescent waves supplying the right amount of momentum necessary for generating a spp wave .
the optical lrm setup is sketched in fig . 8 a. leakage radiation emitted through the glass substrate
is collected by an immersion oil objective ( 63x , numerical aperture , @xmath98 ) .
light is subsequently refocussed on a charge coupled device ( ccd ) camera .
the direct mapping of the spp intensity with this method provides a one - to - one correspondence between the 2d spp intensity and the image recorded on the ccd camera .
it should be observed that an incident laser beam with diameter @xmath102 is in the focal plane ( object plane ) of the objective @xmath103 focussed into a disc of diameter @xmath104 ( i. e. , @xmath105beam waist ) such that @xmath106 where @xmath107 is the focal length of the objective and @xmath108 the divergence angle of the laser beam focussed on the sample .
the direct application of this version of the heisenberg relation @xcite implies that the divergence angle @xmath109 of the spp beam launched on the metal film must equal the divergence angle @xmath108 of the impinging laser beam .
this result is in good agreement with the experimental case shown in fig . 8 with @xmath110 mm , @xmath111 @xmath101 m and @xmath112 .
changing the objective focal length is a straightforward means to obtain different divergence angles @xmath109 ( see for example @xcite ) .
+ ) onto a structured gold thin film on a glass substrate .
lr emitted into the glass substrate from the gold / glass interface @xmath113 is collected by the immersion microscopy objective o2 ( 63x , na=1.25 ) and imaged by a ccd camera .
depending on the lateral position of the convex lens l3 either the back focal plane or the sample plane is imaged .
bb beam block , l1,2,3 convex lenses , f focal length of l1 and l2 ; @xmath113 , @xmath114 , sample plane and image thereof ; f , f back focal plane and image thereof @xcite.,width=302 ] as a further improvement it is possible to modify the previous optical setup in order to image not only the direct space information but also the momentum corresponding to the fourier space .
it is indeed a well known fact of fourier optics @xcite that such a mapping of the wave vector distribution ( as given by eq .
20 ) is in principle always possible by recording the lr light in the back focal plane @xmath115 of the oil immersion objective . in the optical setup shown in fig .
9 @xcite we realized a dual microscope able to image spp propagation in both the direct and fourier space .
in particular the back focal plane @xmath115 of the oil immersion objective @xmath97 ) and upper right to be partly reflected ( @xmath116 ) and transmitted ( @xmath117 ) by the bragg mirror .
the image is taken with no beam block .
ridge and bragg mirror are indicated by the dashed line and rectangle , respectively .
( b ) fourier plane lrm imaging corresponding to ( a ) .
c indicates the wave vector components of the directly transmitted laser beam @xmath118 ; @xmath119 have the same meaning as in ( a ) .
( c)-(d ) are fourier filtered images after removing the central beam @xmath118 with a beam block in @xmath120 ( see text ) . in ( c )
the reflected beam r is removed by blocking the arc of the spp ring _
shown in ( b ) . in (
d ) the transmitted beam t and the beam incident on the bragg mirror are removed by blocking the arc of spp ring @xmath117 in ( b ) .
data from @xcite ( @xmath88 , appl .
, american institute of physics , 2006).,width=302 ] imaged onto a ccd camera in fig
with such a microscope it is furthermore possible to act experimentally in the fourier space image plane @xmath120 .
first we can thereby remove the directly transmitted laser beam by using a beam block located on the optical axis . as an application of this method of filtering we consider the reflection of a spp beam by an in - plane bragg mirror .
spps are launched as before from a gold ridge ( 50 nm height , 150 nm width ) lithographed on a 50 nm thick gold film .
the bragg mirror @xcite constitutes a one - dimensional lattice of parallel gold ridges ( 50 nm height , 140 nm width ) separated by a distance @xmath121 defining the period of the lattice .
the period @xmath121 is connected to the spp wavelength by @xmath122 and to the angle of incidence reflection @xmath123 of the spp beam relatively to the ( in plane ) normal to the lattice by @xmath124 in the present case shown in fig . 10 the bragg mirror is optimized for @xmath80 ( i. e. , @xmath125 ) and for @xmath126 incidence angle which means @xmath127 . the experimental analysis of such a bragg mirror when the resonance condition ( @xmath128 , @xmath123 ) is fulfilled reveals a very high reflectivity of @xmath129% ( see , for example , @xcite for some earlier results on spp bragg mirrors studied with fluorescence microscopy ) . however , in the present experiment we choose an incident angle @xmath130 . as a consequence
the reflectivity was much lower ( see fig .
10 a and more details in @xcite ) . beam ( see inset ) .
experimental data ( symbols ) are compared with a lorentz fit ( solid curve ) .
the intensity is normalized by setting the maximum intensity of @xmath131 to 1 .
( b ) direct space cross - cut along the l beam in fig .
10 a. data points ( symbols ) are compared to an exponential fit ( solid line ) .
data from @xcite ( @xmath88 , appl .
, american institute of physics , 2006 ) .
, width=226 ] this configuration reveals spp interferences in the vicinity of the mirror ( fig . 10 a ) . in fig .
10 b we show the corresponding fourier space image .
the different observed arcs of lr rings correspond to the reflected ( r ) , and transmitted plus incident ( t ) beams .
the l beam is associated with a spp launched in the direction to the left , i. e , away from the mirror .
c is the directly transmitted laser beam distribution . by acting in the fourier plane image @xmath120 of the lrm microscope
we now block the information associated with the central beam and with the r or t beams @xcite .
thereby the according spp beam images are erased from the image plane and consequently weak intensity beams otherwise observed by interference can be directly analyzed . for further analysis we extracted radial cross - cuts along the white lines as shown in fig .
10 b @xcite .
results are shown in fig .
11 a for the cross cut along @xmath131 .
the data points agree very well with a lorentz fit given by eqs . 20 , 21 .
the fwhm of the lorentzian distribution gives us a spp propagation length of @xmath132 @xmath101 m .
this value is in perfect agreement with the cross - cut made along the beam @xmath131 in the direct space image 10 a ( see fig .
both data agree also with values given by the dispersion relations discussed in sect . 1 ( see figs .
2b and 3b ) .
+ nm and @xmath133 nm , respectively .
the gold ridge and plasmonic crystal are indicated by the gray line and the gray box , respectively .
the vector basis @xmath134 of the latices is indicated in a and e. data from @xcite ( @xmath88 nanoletters , american chemical society , 2007 ) .
, width=302 ] lrm was subsequently applied by us to many spp in - plane devices such as beam splitters @xcite , dielectric lenses , prisms @xcite and wave - guides @xcite . in particular , lrm experiments were compared to near field optical experiments ( photon scanning tunnelling microscopy ) and showed good agreement in the cases considered @xcite .
lrm appears thus in this context as a complementary far - field optical method to nfo such as nsom .
lrm was applied as well for analyzing spp bragg mirrors ( with high reflectivity @xmath135% ) , interferometers @xcite and spp elliptical cavities @xcite or 2d spp microscopes @xcite . in this context
we observed @xcite stationary spp waves with very high visibility @xmath136 by using lrm .
this proves directly that spp wave coherence is conserved in lrm and can exploited for quantitative analysis down to the spatial resolution limit @xmath137 .
actually spp interferometers such as the ones described in @xcite reveal clear interference pattern and oscillation characteristics of these devices .
it is thus possible to develop 2d interferometry for spp waves having all the advantages of current macroscopic interferometry techniques .
+ we also mention the realization of plasmonic crystals ( i. e. , photonic crystals for spps ) which were studied using lrm ( see fig .
12 ) . in such devices @xcite rectangular 2d latices made of gold nano - protrusions ( 200 nm diameter , 50 nm height ) deposited on a 50 nm thick gold film ( see fig .
12b ) are used to create photonic band gaps at specific spp wavelengths @xmath138 nm and @xmath133 nm ( i. e. , laser wavelengths of respectively 750 nm and 800 nm ) corresponding to the two periods of the lattice @xmath139 nm and @xmath140 nm . the existence of these band gaps implies that spp plane waves impinging on small devices build up with such lattice will generate stationary waves in the crystal .
more precisely this implies that spps will be reflected in specific and different directions if their wavelengths match the values @xmath141 or @xmath142 and if the angle of incidence relatively to the normal to the bragg planes of the crystal ( figs .
12 b , c ) equals @xmath143 .
such devices act consequently as an efficient in - plane wavelength demultiplexer for spps @xcite as it was indeed observed experimentally ( see fig .
12d and e ) .
while the results discussed here were achieved within the visible spectral range , plasmonic crystal devices are expected to perform even better ( e.g. , in terms of spectral selectivity ) in the infrared ( telecom ) spectral range due to significantly lower ohmic losses @xcite . in general , the use of multiplexers , splitters and tritters @xcite in photonic applications might be specifically appealing due to their small footprint in the range of @xmath144 @xmath101m@xmath145 .
furthermore , the use as building blocks for classical @xcite or quantum @xcite optical computing can be envisaged .
in this article we reviewed the field of leakage radiation microscopy ( lrm ) theoretically and experimentally .
theoretically we analyzed how spp can generate leaky wave in the glass substrate by tunnelling from the air side through a thin metal film supporting spp waves .
we showed in particular that for thick film ( @xmath76 nm ) leakage radiation ( lr ) does not affect the dispersion relation on the air / metal interface .
importantly the angular distribution of lr is located on a cone matching the spp dispersion relation .
we also reviewed the first experimental results reporting the observation of lr on rough surface and using near field optics methods .
we analyzed more recent application of lrm to spp nano - devices fabricated by electron beam lithography .
from all these results we can conclude that lrm is a convenient and versatile far field optical method for analyzing quantitatively spp propagation on flat film and their interaction with various nano - devices of direct practical interest .
such versatility positions lrm as an appealing alternative to near field optics for studying spp propagation on a scale of , or larger than the wavelength .
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Gundam Seed Fall for You
_Hai semuanyaaa~ Aah sudah lama sekali saya hiatus huhu, maaf ya... -,- *nunduk-nunduk*_
_Yap, sesuai request di fic saya sebelumnya (baca : Cinta yang Terlambat), fic kali ini pairingnya tetep Kira X Lacus/Athrun X Lacus, saya janji happy ending deh, nggak sad ending lagi ^ ^_
_Anyway, langsung aja kali ya hehehe_
**Fall for You...**
**By : Ishida Yuri Kobayakawa**
**Disclaimer :**
**All of Gundam Seed/Destiny's plot and characters are belongs to ©Sunrise**
**Prolog**
_#Wish 1 : "Aku ingin ada seseorang yang mencintaiku" (Lacus)_
Senja itu, matahari menyinari daun-daun musim gugur beraneka warna dengan gemerlapnya. Angin sepoi-sepoi menerbangkan dedaunan itu lembut sebelum akhirnya jatuh dalam pangkuan dua anak remaja yang tengah menghabiskan hari di sebuah taman kota. Mereka menatap matahari yang perlahan kembali ke peraduannya dan sontak membuat warna-warna langit yang begitu indah, sembari berbaring di antara daun-daun gugur.
Seorang pemuda berrambut cokelat itu menutup matanya perlahan, seperti hendak menyimpan semua gambar tadi dalam memorinya dengan helaan napas panjang. Kemudian ia berbalik, menatap seorang gadis yang tengah menyingkirkan daun-daun yang ada pada rambut merah mudanya, "aah.. besok kita sudah harus masuk sekolah, Lacus..."
Kening gadis yang disapa Lacus itu mengerut heran, "memangnya kenapa Kira? Kau tidak senang?"
Pemuda bernama Kira itu hanya terdiam menatap langit, "bukannya begitu... tapi entah kenapa aku tidak terlalu bersemangat untuk besok"
"Aneh sekali kau ini," timpal Lacus, "padahal aku ingin besok segera datang. Bertemu teman baru...guru baru... semuanya baru... aaah pasti menyenangkan"
Kemudian Lacus menyandarkan tubuhnya pada sebuah pohon sembari memainkan rambutnya. Sepasang mata biru mudanya tak sengaja menangkap pemandangan yang ada di depannya. Sepasang kekasih yang tengah duduk-duduk di kursi taman, saling bertatapan, tersenyum, dan kemudian berpelukan hangat.
Lacus menghela napas, "Kira?"
Yang dipanggil menoleh, "Ng? Ada apa?"
"Jatuh cinta itu... rasanya seperti apa _sih_?"
Kira sedikit kaget dengan pertanyaan Lacus yang tiba-tiba seperti itu, namun ketika ia melihat pemandangan tadi, ia mengerti, "aku juga tidak tahu"
"Sepertinya menyenangkan ya.. bisa punya seseorang yang mencintai dan benar-benar memahami kita seperti itu"
Kira hanya diam, bingung harus menjawab apa. Ia tahu, ia tidak begitu handal dalam hal ini.
"Menurutmu siapa yang duluan jatuh cinta? Kamu atau aku?"
"Kamu, " Kira refleks menjawab.
Lacus menatap Kira, tersenyum, "pokoknya siapa pun yang duluan jatuh cinta, kita harus sama-sama cerita ya, janji?"
Kira hanya mengangguk, "iya.. aku janji," kemudian ia melingkarkan kelingkingnya pada kelingking Lacus.
Baik keduanya tidak ada yang tahu, kisah apa yang menanti di hadapan mereka.
_Yoosh... silakan reviewnya, kritik dan __saran bakal diterima dengan senang hati_
_Special thanks to my pal, Rey, and you who read (and review) this fic..._
End file.
| fanfiction |
almost all degrees of myopia , hyperopia , and astigmatism can be corrected to some degree with refractive surgery .
available techniques include laser procedures , implantation of phakic refractive intraocular lenses , and clear lens exchange.1 less frequently used techniques include intracorneal ring implantation and radial keratotomy ( rk ) .
the challenge for refractive surgeons is the correction of presbyopia , which affects most people 45 years or older.1 according to current estimates , presbyopia is the most common refractive error , affecting more than 2 billion people worldwide.2 barraquer3 first described implanting corneal inlays to modify corneal refraction in 1949 .
various corneal inlays made of different materials implanted using different surgical techniques , including varying the depth of implantation , have been described over time ; however , there are complications , such as corneal stroma opacity , deposits , infiltration , and corneal necrosis due to inadequate nutrition flow between the anterior and posterior layers of the cornea.3 the kamra corneal inlay ( acufocus , inc , irvine , ca , usa ) is made of polyvinylidene fluoride and carbon .
several studies have reported on kamra implantation in emmetropic presbyopic46 and ametropic patients and found the treatment to be safe and effective.7 in this report , we describe kamra inlay implantation in two patients who had prior rk surgery .
a 53-year - old female who had had an rk surgery 15 years prior complained about her near visual acuity .
there was no other ocular history of note other than a laser - assisted in situ keratomileusis ( lasik ) procedure 7 years ago for residual refractive error correction after her rk surgery . on examination , uncorrected and corrected visual acuity for near and for distance
a corneal pocket was created with femto ldv crystal line ( ziemer ophthalmic systems ag , port , switzerland ) .
the pocket formation was done at 270 inferiorly , not temporally as is usually the case .
the surgical technique was targeted to minimize the risk of any intersection with the prior rk incision to avoid the extension of the rk wound into the interface . using a slit lamp
, it was observed that the depth of the inferior incisions was at 40%50% of the corneal thickness .
the other incisions were to a depth of 90% of the corneal thickness . considering this , the surgeon preferred to make the pocket at 270 inferiorly ( depth 250 m ) .
the inlay was removed with forceps from the sterile package and inspected under high magnification for any defects , before being carefully placed in the pocket ( figure 1 ) over the estimated line of sight based on the midpoint of the first purkinje image and the pupil center with coaxial patient fixation.7
a 46-year - old female with a history of rk surgery 20 years prior was a candidate for presbyopia treatment by kamra inlay implantation surgery .
since there was a refractive error as a residual outcome from a prior refractive surgery and the patient complained about her distance vision , a lasik procedure was performed on the same day as , but just prior to , the inlay implantation surgery .
a 200 m corneal flap was created in the nondominant eye using a femtosecond laser ( ifs , advanced medical optics , inc , santa ana , ca , usa ) .
the flap had a superior hinge with a 30 side cut and a 4 4 spot - line separation .
the refractive error was corrected with an excimer laser ( allegretto wave eye - q , alcon incorporated , hnenberg , switzerland ) .
the inlay was implanted under the flap over the estimated line as described for the patient in case 1 ( figure 2 ) .
preoperative and postoperative results of uncorrected distance visual acuity , corrected distance visual acuity , uncorrected near visual acuity , corrected near visual acuity , and manifest refraction spherical equivalent for both cases are presented in table 1 . for vision evaluation ,
logmar was used , which was converted to jaeger thereafter for near vision . for distance
the patient satisfaction questionnaire scores for case 1 and case 2 are presented graphically in figures 3 and 4 , respectively .
topography image ( tomey corporation , nagoya , japan ) was also estimated in both cases , figures 5 and 6 .
the postoperative treatment regimen used with these patients has been described in detail in a previously reported study.7 daily reading was strongly recommended as postoperative training to hasten neuroadaptation .
there were no complaints from either of the two patients regarding distance visual acuity and reading performance in any light condition .
the aim of this paper is to report the effectiveness of the kamra small - aperture intracorneal inlay in presbyopic patients with a history of a prior refractive surgery .
this was one of the exclusion factors in previous reports on this inlay.47 however , because the kamra inlay does not have refractive power , it can not correct refractive errors such as astigmatism , myopia , or hyperopia.7 thus , correction of the residual refractive error in the second case was performed by lasik procedure . as is known ,
rk involves creation of incisions of approximately 90% depth into the cornea , which flattens it and reduces nearsightedness .
one of the primary concerns after rk is refractive instability with a potential hyperopic shift.8 the rk incisions were examined in detail under the high magnification of a slit lamp .
ten rk incisions were made in the case 1 patient , three temporal , three nasal , and two transverse incisions both superiorly and inferiorly . during the rk procedure , the main goal is achieving an incision depth of 80% to 90% of the corneal thickness , which is critical in order to obtain a satisfactory surgical result .
all incisions in this case were to 90% of the corneal thickness , except the two inferior incisions , which went to 50% of the corneal thickness .
this was the reason why the surgeon preferred to create the pocket with an inferior ( 270 ) located incision .
the pocket depth of 250 m was chosen due to the 140 m corneal flap from prior lasik surgery .
since the kamra inlay should be implanted at the depth of 200 m or deeper , and may not be implanted above a depth of 140 m , the corneal pocket was created .
knowing that the safe distance between the previous flap and created pocket should be 100 m , the surgeon decided to form the corneal pocket at a depth of 250 m , with a safe 110 m of corneal thickness .
there were no complications in terms of the corneal biomechanical structure during the whole follow - up period for both rk patients .
the term dysphotopsia describes a decrease in the quality of vision , different from glare disability , with decreased contrast sensitivity resulting in image degradation.8,9 the relationship between dysphotopsia and corneal laser surgery was recognized quite early in the evolution of the process,10 when a disparity between the centrally treated corneal zone and the wider pupil , which expands under dim - light conditions , was reported.9 before the era of corneal laser surgery , corneal refractive surgery was conducted with corneal incisions ; rk for myopia was the most prevalent type .
difficulty with vision at night such as while driving was the main side effect that patients had to tolerate as a consequence of the radial scars and the small untreated central ( optical ) zone.11 both patients in our study were questioned about these types of postoperative complication and neither reported any such complications .
the uncorrected near visual acuity improved three lines in case 1 , and one line in case 2 , with nine lines gained in uncorrected distance visual acuity due to the simultaneous lasik procedure at the time of the kamra inlay implantation surgery in this patient . near visual acuity in japan
there is no internationally accepted standard distance for measuring near visual acuity . in our experience , converting acuity measured at 30 cm logmar into 40 cm jaeger was done as we reported in our previous study.7
the outcomes of the two cases presented suggest that the implantation of the kamra inlay may improve the near visual acuity even in patients with a history of prior rk surgery . | pubmed |
Why do cars with 4 drive wheel accelerate faster, from a physics standpoint? [closed]
**Closed.** This question is [off-topic](/help/closed-questions). It is not currently accepting answers.
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This question appears to be about **engineering**, which is the application of scientific knowledge to construct a solution to solve a specific problem. As such, it is off topic for this site, which deals with the **science**, whether theoretical or experimental, of how the natural world works. For more information, see [this meta post](https://physics.meta.stackexchange.com/a/4536/).
Closed 4 years ago.
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I know that an 4WD car beats a 2WD car "off the line," but I do no understand the physics behind it. I know that:
$$W\_{\text{Wheels}} = W\_{\text{Engine}} G\,\text{, where } G \text{ is gearing}$$
$$F = \frac{W\_W}{r\_W}\,\text{, where } r\_W \text{ is wheel radius}$$
$$a = \frac{F}{m}$$
I've concluded that:
$$a = \frac{W\_E G}{r\_W m}$$
And my best guess for factoring in drive wheels, $d$, would be (or symmetrical torque distribution):
$$a =\frac{\frac{W\_E G}{d}}{r\_W \frac{m}{d}}$$
Attempting to distribute torque and mass among the wheels. But that doesn't change the outcome. I am not taking wind resistance into account on purpose, but I am missing another force? Why, from a physics standpoint, does 4WD accelerate faster than 2WD? How could the above equations be modified to include this variable?
Let's take the example of a 2WD car, in which the front wheels are driven (which is the most common arrangement these days).
When you hit the gas to accelerate the car, there is a countertorque reaction which tends to lift up the front of the car and squat down the rear of it- it is as if the center of mass of the car has shifted towards the back of the car. This unloads the front tires and causes them to slip and spin, which limits the rate at which the car can accelerate.
If the car has all four wheels driven, then the squat tendency pushes the rear wheels into firmer contact with the road and they can push the car forward with less slippage, thereby furnishing better acceleration.
This presupposes that the drive system for the four wheels contains a slip-limiting mechanism which prevents the "spinnage" of the front wheels from short-circuiting the power delivery to the rear wheels. This is called a "limited-slip differential" and it is commonly used in all-wheel-drive cars.
| stackexchange/physics |
Vinod Kapri, born 15 August 1972 is a senior Indian journalist and filmmaker. He won a National Award for the documentary film Can't Take This Shit Anymore 2014. He made his feature debut with Miss Tanakpur Haazir Ho 2015 - a socio-legal satire that received extensive critical acclaim.
His second feature film Pihu has been widely appreciated in International film festivals such as Vancouver International Film Festival, Palm Springs International Film Festival California, Fajr International Film Festival Tehran and Indian Film festival Stuttgart.
His film Pihu was the Opening Film
Of 48th International Film Festival of India IFFI,2017. It soon became the talk of town that how a 100-minute film cast only one character that too a two-year-old girl.
Before venturing into filmmaking, he spent 23 years of his career as a journalist with media organisations like Zee News, Star News and India TV, where he produced and directed various documentaries and shows including those on 13 December Parliament attack, 26/11 Mumbai attack and anti-corruption crusader Anna Hazare.
Early life and education
Vinod Kapri originally hails from Pithoragarh in Uttarakhand but he was born in Secunderabad in Andhra Pradesh. His father was in Army, who was posted at different places across the country. Vinod Kapri completed his early education at Kendriya Vidyalaya in states like Andhra Pradesh Secunderabad, Jammu and Kashmir Udhampur, West Bengal Siliguri and Uttar Pradesh Bareilly.
Vinod was studying in class 9th, when he started writing short stories. His first story was published in 1987, when he was just 16-year-old. The story was published by Hindi daily Amar Ujala, for which he received a money order of Rs.15 as a payment. Soon enough, all leading Hindi newspapers like Dainik Jagran, Dainik Hindustan and Dainik Aaj would publish his articles and stories on various contemporary issues. In his school days, a novel written by him was published in a newspaper as a weekly series. Vinod graduated from Bareilly College in Uttar Pradesh and, at the age of 19, he launched his own monthly magazine Indian Econo Patrika.
Journalistic career
His career as a journalist began with Hindi daily Jansandesh when he was only a 20-year-old. The paper was owned by famous politician Chaudhary Devi Lal and functioned amid political interference. Vinod quit the job within a few months. Same year, in 1992, he joined Dainik Jagran as a trainee. But after a span of about 4 months, he was hired as a reporter by Daily Amar Ujala, soon became a subeditor. In 1995, he started his stint with Zee News as a trainee reporter. Within a year Editor Rajat Sharma assigned him an important beat to cover the United Front government. By 1996, he had established himself as a political reporter. Then he was given the responsibility of Uttar Pradesh Bureau Chief.
In 1998 he started producing and anchoring the weekly show 'Ek aur Nazariya' for Zee India TV. He also made documentaries on Dalai Lama, Homosexuals, Euthanasia, Doms of Benares, Mahakumbh of Allahabad and Aghori Sadhu of Haridwar. That was the first time when Aghori Sadhus were shown on TV.
From 1999 to 2001, he produced the breakfast show 'Morning Zee' for Zee News. Later on channel, owner Subash Chandra decided to shift the show to main GEC channel Zee TV.
In 2002, he was made an output editor of Zee News. In 2004, he moved to Star News as an Executive Producer and, over the years, rose to the post of Deputy Managing Editor. In 2007, he joined India TV as a Managing editor.
Career Highlights
Vinod conceived and executed various shows like News top 10, Hindustan Hamara, Crime Reporter, Kaun Hai, 24 Ghante 24 Reporter, Aaj Ki Pahli Khabar, Top 20 reporter, Superfast 200 and Nonstop Superfast. He also made documentaries on 13 December Parliament attack, 26/11 Mumbai terror attack and life of Anna Hazare
In 2004, he programmed a live show on a story of a Muslim couple, Arif and Gudiya. The couple became a household name for millions of viewers. The story unfolded with Arif, an Indian soldier missing for 5 years after the Kargil war, returning home to find his wife Gudiya married to another man Taufeeq and pregnant with his child. The drama that followed was broadcast live on TV for 3 full days while the entire nation was watching.
Vinod Kapri launched an acid attack survivor, Laxmi Saa, as an anchor for a weekly TV show 'Udaan' that was centred on social issues. He also launched a 21-year-old visually challenged youth, Kamal Prajapati, as a reporter who would host a weekly segment Aankhen Kholo India - on social awareness that drew people's attention towards civic responsibilities.
Life after News
At the end of his journalistic career, Vinod Kapri decided to take up film direction. In 2014 he won a National Award for his documentary film Can't Take This Shit Anymore. The film was based on true incidents of six women who left their husbands homes due to lack of toilets. The incidents reported in Uttar Pradeshs Kushinagar district in May 2014 caught his attention, and after a thorough reconnaissance of individual stories, he built a narrative to showcase the travesty of open defecation for Women in rural India. The film was also screened at the 12th Indian Film Festival Stuttgart in Germany.
His debut film Miss Tanakpur Haazir Ho was released on 26 June 2015. Bollywood actor, Amitabh Bachchan and director Rajkumar Hirani took to Twitter to talk about Vinod Kapris work in the film.
Miss Tanakpur Haazir Ho, a social-political satire inspired by true incident in Rajasthan, was received critical acclaim from some quarters. The film earned rave reviews from the likes of Raju Hirani and National Award-winning director Madhur Bhandarkar.
Vinods sharp observations of people and dialect were well noticed; film critics discovered that his craft of satire writing has striking similarities with humour of notable writers like Sri Lal Shukla, Manohar Shyam Joshi, Kashinath Singh and K P Saxena.
The film starred actors such as Annu Kapoor, Om Puri and Sanjay Mishra. It also featured actors like Ravi Kishen, Rahul Bagga and Hrishitaa Bhatt. The story of the movie is based in Tanakpur, a village in Haryana, ruled by a power wielding pradhan whose wife falls in love with a youth in the village. Discovering the reality, and spotting both his wife and the youth together, the village headman plots a conspiracy and falsely implicates the youth on charges of raping his buffalo. The 'pradhan' exploits all the resources in the system to extract his personal revenge helped by corrupt cops while legal system seemed helpless. However, truth prevails in the end and the youth is acquitted of absurd charges. Miss Tanakpur Haazir Ho uncovers the duplicity of society that allows powerful men to misuse the establishments to settle their own score.
Miss Tanakpur Haazir Ho was distributed by Fox Star Studios and television network STAR TV acquired its post release satellite rights.
Vinod Kapri has now launched his second film Pihu. This film has a single protagonist Pihu, who is a two-year-old girl. This film is based on a true incident reported in a national daily in 2014, where a 4-year-old girl was left alone at home by the parents. The film is a social thriller by genre.
References
Category:Journalists from Uttarakhand
Category:People from Pithoragarh
Category:1972 births
Category:Living people
Category:Kendriya Vidyalaya alumni
Category:Indian male journalists | wikipedia |
Semmeninathar Karumbeswarar Temple is a Hindu temple located near Vishnampettai in the Thanjavur district of Tamil Nadu, India. The temple is dedicated to Shiva.
Mythology
According to Hindu mythology, the mythical Brahmin sage Parasurama worshipped Shiva at this place to get rid of the sin of killing Kshatriyas. The place is also associated with legends of the Chola king Karikala.
Significance
Praises of the temple have been sung by the Saivite saints Sambandar and Thirunavukkarasar.
References
Category:Shiva temples in Thanjavur district
Category:Padal Petra Stalam | wikipedia |
anyone who has bought a can of ' dolphin - friendly ' tuna knows that dolphins can be unintended victims of the tuna - fishing industry .
now , a mathematical model shows that dolphin calves can gain up to 90% of the energy required for swimming if they position themselves correctly relative to their mothers , but that the calves are in danger of being lost if this positioning breaks down . as observations of dolphins in the wild support the model ( see ' the bottom line ' box for a summary of the findings ) , the new work starts to give a possible explanation why dolphin numbers remain at unnaturally low levels despite changes in the tuna - fishing industry aimed at protecting dolphin populations .
during the 1970s an estimated 350,000 dolphins were killed each year as an unintended but inevitable by - catch of the tuna fishing in the eastern tropical pacific ocean ( see the ' background ' box ) .
this occurred because between 1959 and 1963 the tuna - fishing fleet switched from pole and line fishing to a technique using vast ' purse seine ' nets .
dolphins are caught because fishermen have known for a long time that tuna gather beneath schools of dolphins and very often seabirds congregate overhead - if you want to catch tuna , look for dolphins .
purse - seine fisheries involve a fast moving boat and a helicopter that search for the telltale signs of seabirds and dolphins .
on arriving near a school of dolphins the main boat launches four to six speedboats that operate like sheep dogs , chasing the dolphins so that they are kept together while the main boat encircles them with a one - mile long , 400-foot deep curtain of net , the top edge of which is held on the surface by floats ( figure 1 ) .
the chase tends to last between 15 and 30 minutes , but occasionally extends to up to an hour .
once the circle is complete , the fishermen pull a rope that draws the bottom of the net together .
, the dolphins can get caught up in the net and , unable to reach the surface , drown . since the 1980s various changes in fishing procedures have reduced dolphin mortality . before pulling the net in
, the main boat turns and , because of the way it is constructed , the circular net forms a finger - like shoot opposite the large boat .
the speedboats head for this part of the net and hold it open so that the dolphins can swim out .
given that dolphins experience this procedure fairly frequently , they appear to learn what to do .
their escape is helped by the fact that the net in this area is made of a very fine mesh so that they do n't get caught , and divers swim inside the net actively pulling some of the stragglers out to the open ocean .
while the effort given to helping dolphins escape has cut deaths significantly , conservationists have been puzzled to note that dolphin numbers are nevertheless failing to recover .
one possible clue to the problem came when researchers examining data collected by observers placed with the tuna fleet found that more lactating mothers were killed within the net than nursing calves .
elizabeth edwards , a marine biologist working for the national marine fisheries service in san diego , usa , notes that " 70 - 80% of lactating females killed were not killed with a calf , and the findings were consistent over several years " .
edwards and her colleagues started looking to see whether calves could become separated from their mothers during fishing operations .
this would not be recorded in mortality statistics , but could radically influence the recovery of the dolphin population . "
dolphins are very precocious animals , " says frank fish of west chester university , in west chester pa . " we always marvel at wildebeest and other ungulates that start moving with the herd within 20 minutes of being born , but dolphins are moving constantly , so the neonate does n't even have the luxury of 20 minutes . "
marine biologists studying dolphin behavior frequently see mothers and calves swimming closely together at speeds of up to 2.4 m / sec , with young calves making little if any obvious swimming motions .
the assumption is that the calf is drafting in its mother 's slipstream , just as cyclists save energy by packing together during a race .
" we are always amazed at how smart animals are in their ability to conserve energy - such as ducklings ' use of the flow pattern in the water that the mother produces as she swims along , so that they can reduce the amount of energy they need to expend to maintain that speed , " says fish .
but in the case of dolphins there has never been any hard science aimed at seeing if this is a lovely myth or a physical reality . enter mathematician and aerodynamicist daniel weihs , who works at the technion , israel institute of technology , haifa .
he was involved in research some 25 years ago that aimed to find the speed dolphins needed to reach before they started jumping , and now he came back to the topic , looking for mathematical evidence of forces between mothers and calves ( see the ' behind the scenes ' box for more of the rationale of the work ) .
the first task in making a mathematical model of a biological situation is to identify the dominant effects and simplify the issue .
once calculations are made in this simplified world it is relatively easy to add back the complications .
weihs started by assuming that dolphins are ellipsoidal in shape and that their bodies are six times as long as they are wide .
using a regular symmetrical object makes the equations much less complex , and previous studies had indicated that dolphin bodies were closely represented by an ellipsoid . on top of this , people working on torpedoes and other underwater weaponry had already developed equations that predict ellipsoid behavior in water .
next , he assumed that the water is inviscid - that is , it has no viscosity .
named after eighteenth century french mathematician and physicist jean le rond d'alembert , this paradox states that objects surrounded by an inviscid , incompressible liquid experience no drag as the liquid moves past . in doing this
he had placed his theoretical dolphins into a simple newtonian world where objects continue to move until influenced by some external force . "
the main point here is that any single body under the conditions we are talking about produces no forces at all if it is moving at constant speed , " explains weihs .
the question then is , what forces occur in this environment when you have two objects moving closely together ? finally , he introduced two more assumptions : first , that the body shapes did not change during swimming ; and second , that the dolphins were swimming at sufficient depth that they were not creating any surface waves .
as the mother 's body moves through the water , it pushes water sideways and outwards , and after she has moved forwards the water flows back in to fill the vacated space . "
this means that if a second body is placed close enough to the first and within the area of forward motion of water , the relative velocity it feels will be less than its absolute velocity , " notes weihs .
weihs ' initial model showed that there were areas immediately in front of the mother dolphin , as well as to the side and behind , where a baby dolphin could swim and gain up to 90% of the force needed to move through the water from its mother .
what 's more , there were areas where bernoulli attraction would actively pull a calf sideways , towards its mother .
any baby dolphin that tried to stay immediately ahead of its mother would have great difficulty . " the situation , " explains weihs , " would be akin to pushing a string and expecting it to stay straight - it would be too unstable . " again , being immediately behind the mother would n't work , because a real dolphin moves by forcing a jet of water backwards , by flexing its body and using its tail flukes .
while the initial calculations might suggest that immediately behind the mother was a great place , common sense shows that it would n't . at the same time
, the flexing of the mother 's body means that any zone directly above or below her would be too unstable to be helpful to a calf .
this leaves the two zones on either side of the mother and about two thirds of the way back as the two most stable and energetically favorable places for a youngster to hitch a lift .
away from the mathematician 's calculations , real dolphins also experience drag from the viscosity of the water . adding this back
any drag is proportional to the square of velocity , so positioning yourself in an area of forward - moving water allows you to experience much less drag .
consequently , any 10% saving in apparent velocity leads to a nearly 30% saving in energy . "
the predicted force reduction is so substantial that it must play a major role in determining the calf 's swimming position in practice , " says timothy pedley , g. i. taylor professor of fluid mechanics in the department of applied mathematics and theoretical physics at cambridge , uk .
marine engineers calculate this as the froude number , a non - dimensional coefficient defined as the ratio of inertial force to gravitational force .
applying this to the dolphins ' situation reduces the effect of the previously mentioned gains .
consequently , swimming near to the surface presents added problems to a calf that is trying to keep up with its mother .
the point of interest for the tuna - fishing scenario is that in chase situations dolphins need to be nearer to the surface , as they need to breathe more frequently .
having determined the hydrodynamic basis for drafting , weihs then applied his calculations to photographs taken from helicopters of mother - calf dolphin pairs swimming together in the wild .
his conclusion is that in this real - life situation the calves gain between 30% and 60% of the force required to keep up with their mothers . "
this is a very nice model and is almost certainly the explanation for the observations of drafting , " comments pedley , adding : " it is not often that one can be so sure of the relevance of a mathematical calculation to biological phenomena . "
" weihs ' paper establishes the basis for how drafting works between mothers and calves and indicates that drafting is really important to the mother - calf bond , " says edwards , from the national marine fisheries service .
what is now open to question is the extent to which drafting operates at the pace created in the tuna - fishing chase , when adult dolphins move by a combination of bursts of speed , leaps out of the water and brief periods of coasting . "
reviewing the literature shows that in a chase situation the mothers will probably just run away and ' assume ' that the babies can just draft along side , " edwards comments .
edwards would also like to refine the model to specifically address the limits to drafting , and compare these limits to the expected conditions during purse - seine tuna - fishing operations .
this will help to determine whether fishery - related mother - calf separations are a likely source of unobserved dolphin mortality in the eastern tropical pacific ocean .
so , dolphin researchers believe weihs ' paper to be a good step forward , but as with all good research it generates a new layer of questions . "
what we now need is an understanding of how this translates into metabolic demand , " says fish . "
the model also needs to be developed to take in all the movements of the dolphin . "
doing that will move the mathematics closer to the mammal , and may ultimately help to reverse the tuna - fishing - related decline in dolphin numbers .
an illustration of how purse - seine fishing can allow some dolphins to escape while tuna are caught , as long as the dolphins can swim fast enough to escape the closing net . | pubmed |
Milton Hall near Peterborough, is the largest private house in Cambridgeshire, England. As part of the Soke of Peterborough, it was formerly part of Northamptonshire. It dates from 1594, being the historical home of the Fitzwilliam family, and is situated in an extensive park in which some original oak trees from an earlier Tudor deer park survive. The house is a Grade I listed building; the garden is Grade II*.
Location
The gardens and pleasure grounds of Milton Park are about from Peterborough city centre, off the A47 road, and are of about to the south of the house. There are views to the park from both sides of the house. The house and grounds are private and not open to the public; however, Peterborough Milton Golf Club has a par 71 parkland course set in the grounds of the estate, with many of the holes being played in full view of Milton Hall.
History
In the Middle Ages, Milton was a hamlet in the parish of Castor. The manor of Milton was bought from Robert Wittlebury in 1502 by Sir William Fitzwilliam, a wealthy merchant from an old Yorkshire family. He was knighted in 1515 and died in 1534.
The oldest parts of the Hall were built in the 1590s by William's grandson, the third William Fitzwilliam and Lord Deputy of Ireland, who also began to lay out grounds. He was succeeded in 1599 by his son, the fourth William, who continued to work on the Hall and possibly developed the landscape. On his death in 1618 he was succeeded by his son, later the first Baron Fitzwilliam, whose granddaughter Jane married Sir Christopher Wren. A plan dated 1643 records the grounds at this time enclosed by a moat and containing courtyards, fishponds, orchards and gardens.
The third Baron was elevated to Viscount Milton and Earl Fitzwilliam, and it was he who added the imposing stables in about 1690, choosing William Talman and John Sturges as his architects. John Fitzwilliam, the second Earl, succeeded in 1719 and the following year completed an extension to the stable block and continued the work his father had started on enlarging the park and altering the gardens to the south of the Hall to include the walled enclosures which still survive.
John's son William, the third Earl, married Lady Anne Wentworth, daughter of the first Marquess of Rockingham. In 1750, after abortive projects commissioned by his grandfather and father from Talman, Gibbs and Brettingham for modernising the Hall, the third Earl engaged Lord Rockingham's architect Henry Flitcroft to begin the process, and a new south front was added. Following the death of the third Earl in 1756, the work on the Hall was completed by Sir William Chambers for his son William, the fourth Earl, in 1773. In 1782, however, the fourth Earl succeeded to Wentworth Woodhouse on the death of his uncle the second Lord Rockingham, and this became his principal seat, the family moving to Milton only in the winter for the hunting. To facilitate this he commissioned Humphry Repton 17521818 to offer advice on improvements to the park in 1791.
The fourth Earl died in 1833 at the age of 85 leaving his properties to his only son, Lord Milton. With Wentworth Woodhouse the principal seat of the family, the fifth Earl left Milton to his younger son, George Wentworth-FitzWilliam, in 1857. George lived at Milton until after 1912 and is thought to have commissioned Harold Peto to produce plans for a garden within one of the 18th century walled enclosures.
The Hall was used by the military during both world wars. In the First World War, an auxiliary hospital was set up in the house. During the Second World War, part of the house and the stable block were occupied by the Czechoslovakian army and later Special Operations Executive who trained in the grounds and woods prior to being dropped by parachute behind enemy lines in France in the days leading up to the Normandy landings see Operation Jedburgh. After the war, Lord and Lady Fitzwilliam returned to Milton to make it their home. The Earl died in 1979 and the Countess in 1995, at which time the estate passed to Sir Philip Naylor-Leyland, 4th Baronet.
Thomas Wentworth-Fitzwilliam, 10th Earl Fitzwilliam 28 May 1904 21 September 1979 married, in April 1956, Joyce Elizabeth Mary Langdale 1898 June 1995, eldest daughter and heiress of Lieutenant-Colonel Philip Joseph Langdale 18631950, OBE, JP, DL, of Houghton Hall, Yorkshire, and formerly the wife of Henry FitzAlan-Howard, 2nd Viscount FitzAlan of Derwent 1883 1962, from whom she was divorced in 1955. Joyce Langdale by her first marriage had two daughters. The younger was Elizabeth Anne Marie Gabrielle FitzAlan-Howard 26 January 1934 20 March 1997 who married firstly in 1952, Sir Vivyan Edward Naylor-Leyland, 3rd Baronet 1924 2 September 1987. Their son and heir, Sir Philip Vivyan Naylor-Leyland, 4th Baronet born 9 August 1953 succeeded his father in 1987, and his grandmother and mother to the stewardship of the FitzWilliam estates. He married, in 1980, Lady Isabella Lambton. Elizabeth-Anne's first marriage was dissolved in 1960 and she married, secondly, in 1975, Sir Stephen Hastings 4 May 1921 January 2005.
Link to Daphne du Maurier
In 1917 when the hall housed an auxiliary hospital, Daphne du Maurier made the first of several visits to Milton at the age of ten along with her mother and two sisters. It is clear from correspondence in later life between du Maurier and the 10th Earl that the happiness and freedom experienced during these childhood visits made an impact on the future writer which she never forgot. She told Lord Fitzwilliam that when she wrote Rebecca 20 years later, the interior of Manderley was based on her recollection of the rooms and 'big house feel' of Milton in the First World War, and referred to Milton in a letter to the last Lord Fitzwilliam as dear old Milton.
Link to Margaret Thatcher
During the Falklands War, on 30 April 1982, the Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and her husband Denis stayed overnight at Milton following an engagement in Sir Stephen's Bedfordshire constituency. The following morning the PM took a call to tell her that an RAF Vulcan had successfully bombed the airfield at Port Stanley.
Notes
References
Category:Buildings and structures completed in 1594
Category:Houses completed in the 16th century
Category:Country houses in Cambridgeshire
Category:Tourist attractions in Cambridgeshire
Category:Grade I listed buildings in Cambridgeshire
Category:Grade I listed houses
Category:Buildings and structures in Peterborough
Category:Naylor-Leyland family
Category:William Talman buildings | wikipedia |
let @xmath1 be a spectrally negative lvy process defined on a filtered probability space @xmath2 satisfying the usual conditions . for @xmath3 , denote by @xmath4 the probability measure under which @xmath0 starts at @xmath5 and for simplicity write @xmath6 .
we associate with @xmath0 the maximum process @xmath7 given by @xmath8 for @xmath9 .
the law under which @xmath10 starts at @xmath11 is denoted by @xmath12 .
+ in this paper we are mainly interested in the following optimal stopping problem : @xmath13,\label{problem1}\ ] ] where @xmath14 and @xmath15 is the set of all finite @xmath16-stopping times . since the constant @xmath17 bounds the process @xmath18 from above , we refer to it as the upper cap .
due to the fact that the pair @xmath10 is a strong markov process , has also a markovian structure and hence the general theory of optimal stopping suggests that the optimal stopping time is the first entry time of the process @xmath10 into some subset of @xmath19 .
indeed , it turns out that the solution of is given by @xmath20 for some function @xmath21 which is characterised as solution to a certain ordinary differential equation involving scale functions .
the function @xmath22 is sometimes referred to as the optimal stopping boundary .
we will show that the shape of the optimal boundary changes according to the path variation of @xmath0 .
the solution of problem is closely related to the solution of the shepp - shiryaev optimal stopping problem @xmath23,\label{problem2}\ ] ] which was first studied by shepp and shiryaev @xcite for the case when @xmath0 is a linear brownian motion and later by avram , kyprianou and pistorius @xcite for the case when @xmath0 is a spectrally negative lvy process .
shepp and shiryaev @xcite introduced the problem as a means to pricing russian options , a topic we do not concern ourselves with in this paper .
our method for solving consists of a verification technique , that is , we heuristically derive a candidate solution and then verify that it is indeed a solution . in particular , we will make use of the principle of smooth and continuous fit @xcite in a similar way to @xcite . it is also natural to ask for a modification of with a lower cap . whilst this is already included in the starting point of the maximum process @xmath18 , there is a stopping problem that captures this idea of lower cap in the sense that the decision to exercise has to be made before @xmath0 drops below a certain level . specifically , consider @xmath24,\label{problem3}\ ] ] where @xmath25 such that @xmath26 , @xmath27 and @xmath28 .
in the special case with no cap ( @xmath29 ) , this problem was considered by shepp , shiryaev and sulem @xcite for the case where @xmath0 is a linear brownian motion .
inspired by their result we expect the optimal stopping time to be of the form @xmath30 , where @xmath31 is the optimal stopping time in .
our main contribution here is that we find a closed form expression for the value function associated with the strategy @xmath30 , thereby allowing us to verify that it is indeed an optimal strategy .
the purpose of this section is to introduce some notation and collect some known results about spectrally negative lvy processes .
moreover , we state the solution of the shepp - shiryaev optimal stopping problem which will play an important role throughout this paper .
it is well known that a spectrally negative lvy process @xmath0 is characterised by its lvy triplet @xmath32 , where @xmath33 and @xmath34 is a measure on @xmath35 satisfying the condition @xmath36 . by the lvy - it decomposition
, the latter may be represented in the form @xmath37 where @xmath38 is a standard brownian motion , @xmath39 is a compound poisson process with discontinuities of magnitude bigger or equal to one and @xmath40 is a square integrable martingale with discontinuities of magnitude strictly smaller than one and the three processes are mutually independent .
in particular , if @xmath0 is of bounded variation , the decomposition reduces to @xmath41 where @xmath42 and @xmath43 is a driftless subordianator .
furthermore , the spectral negativity of @xmath0 ensures existence of the laplace exponent @xmath44 of @xmath0 , that is , @xmath45=e^{\psi(\theta)}$ ] for @xmath46 , which is known to take the form @xmath47 its right inverse is defined by @xmath48 for @xmath49 . for any spectrally negative lvy process
having we introduce the family of martingales @xmath50 defined for any @xmath51 for which @xmath52<\infty$ ] , and further the corresponding family of measures @xmath53 with radon - nikodym derivatives @xmath54 for all such @xmath51 the measure @xmath55 will denote the translation of @xmath56 under which @xmath57 .
a special family of functions associated with spectrally negative lvy processes is that of scale functions ( cf .
@xcite ) which are defined as follows . for @xmath49 ,
the @xmath58-scale function @xmath59 is the unique function whose restriction to @xmath60 is continuous and has laplace transform @xmath61 and is defined to be identically zero for @xmath62 . equally important is the scale function @xmath63 defined by @xmath64 the passage times of @xmath0 above and below @xmath65 are denoted by @xmath66 we will make use of the following four identities . for @xmath49 and @xmath67
it holds that @xmath68=\frac{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x - a)}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(b - a)}}},\label{scale1}\\ & & { \ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_x\big[e^{-q\tau^-_a}i_{\{\tau^+_b>\tau^-_a\}}\big]={\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(x - a)}}-{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x - a)}}\frac{{\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(b - a)}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(b - a)}}},\label{scale2}\end{aligned}\ ] ] for @xmath69 and @xmath3 it holds that @xmath70={\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(x)}}-\frac{q}{\phi(q)}{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x)}}\label{scale3},\ ] ] and finally for @xmath69 we have @xmath71 the proofs of , and can be found in @xcite and is taken from @xcite . for each @xmath72
we denote by @xmath73 the @xmath58-scale function with respect to the measure @xmath56 . a useful formula ( cf .
@xcite ) linking the scale function under different measures is given by @xmath74 for @xmath75 .
we conclude this subsection by stating some known regularity properties of scale functions @xcite .
_ smoothness _ : for all @xmath49 , @xmath76 + _ continuity at the origin : _ for all @xmath49 , @xmath77 + _ derivative at the origin : _ for all @xmath49 , @xmath78 where we understand the second case to be @xmath79 when @xmath80 . in order to state the solution to the shepp - shiryaev optimal stopping problem
, we give a reformulation of lemma 2 in section 6 of @xcite .
[ k_star ] suppose that @xmath81 and @xmath82 .
additionally assume that @xmath34 is atomless whenever @xmath0 has paths of bounded variation .
then the function @xmath83 is strictly decreasing on @xmath60 and satisfies @xmath84 and @xmath85 .
in particular , there exists a unique root @xmath86 of the equation @xmath87 .
[ abs_cont ] note that the previous result is proved in @xcite under the assumption that @xmath34 is absolutely continuous with respect to lebesgue measure .
an inspection of the proof shows that this is merely a technical assumption to ensure that @xmath88 is @xmath89 which is known to be the case if @xmath0 is of unbounded variation or if @xmath0 is of bounded variation and @xmath34 is atomless .
[ solution2 ] @xmath90 1 .
suppose that @xmath81 and @xmath82 .
assume additionally that @xmath34 is atomless whenever @xmath0 has paths of bounded variation .
then the solution of is given by @xmath91 with optimal strategy @xmath92 where @xmath86 is given in proposition [ k_star ] .
2 . if @xmath81 and @xmath93 , then @xmath94 .
3 . if @xmath95 , then the solution of is given by @xmath96 with associated optimal strategy @xmath97 . bearing in mind what was said in remark [ abs_cont ] , the first part can be extracted from section 6 of @xcite . as for the second part , first suppose that @xmath98 . by the martingale property of @xmath99
, we obtain the estimate @xmath100\geq{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-qt+x_t}\big]=e^{t(\psi(1)-q)}\ ] ] which implies the assertion .
if @xmath101 , define @xmath102 for some @xmath103 and write @xmath104&\geq&e^k{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q\tau_k+\overline x_{\tau_k}}1_{\{\tau_k\leq t\}}\big]=e^k{\ensuremath{\mathbb{p}}}_{x , s}^1[\tau_k\leq t].\end{aligned}\ ] ] since @xmath105 is @xmath106-a.s .
finite , the result follows . as for the third part , note that @xmath95 necessarily means that @xmath0 is of bounded variation and in particular we have @xmath107 .
integration by parts leads to@xmath108 this in conjunction with the markov property shows that for @xmath109 we have @xmath110=e^{-qu}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x_u,\overline x_u}\big[e^{-q(t - u)+\overline x_{t - u}}\big]\leq e^{-qu+\overline x_u } \quad{\ensuremath{\mathbb{p}}}_{x , s}\text{-a.s.}\ ] ] which shows that the process @xmath111 is a right - continuous @xmath12-supermartingale for all .
this together with fatou s lemma and doob s stopping theorem gives for any @xmath112 , @xmath113\leq\liminf_{t\to\infty}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q(t\wedge\tau)+\overline x_{t\wedge\tau}}\big]\leq e^s,\end{aligned}\ ] ] with equality for @xmath114 .
this completes the proof .
define @xmath115 where we set @xmath116 .
the next result ensures existence of a function @xmath21 which will describe the optimal stopping boundary of problem .
[ g ] let @xmath117 be given and suppose that @xmath81
. additionally assume that @xmath34 is atomless whenever @xmath0 has paths of bounded variation . 1 . if @xmath82 , then @xmath86 , otherwise @xmath118 .
2 . there exists a unique solution of the ordinary differential equation @xmath119 satisfying the conditions @xmath120 and .
next , extend @xmath21 to the whole real line by setting @xmath121 for @xmath122 .
we now present the solution of .
[ rwc_mainresult ] let @xmath117 be given . 1 .
suppose that @xmath81 . additionally assume that @xmath34 is atomless whenever @xmath0 has paths of bounded variation .
then the solution of is given by @xmath123 with corresponding optimal strategy @xmath124 where @xmath21 is given in lemma [ g ] .
2 . if @xmath95 , then the solution of is given by @xmath125 with corresponding optimal strategy @xmath126 . define the continuation region and the stopping region @xmath127 .
the shape of the boundary separating them , that is , the optimal stopping boundary , is of particular interest . assuming that @xmath81 , theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] and show that @xmath128 also , using we see that @xmath129 this ( qualitative ) behaviour of @xmath21 and the resulting shape of the continuation and stopping region are illustrated in figure [ fig_behaviour ] .
note in particular that the shape of @xmath21 at @xmath17 ( and consequently the optimal boundary ) changes according to the path variation of @xmath0 . and
@xmath82 whereas on the right it is assumed that @xmath130 and @xmath93.,title="fig : " ] and @xmath82 whereas on the right it is assumed that @xmath130 and @xmath93.,title="fig : " ] + and @xmath82 whereas on the right it is assumed that @xmath130 and @xmath93.,title="fig : " ] and @xmath82 whereas on the right it is assumed that @xmath130 and @xmath93.,title="fig : " ] the horizontal and vertical lines are meant to indicate a realisation of the trace of the process @xmath10 in the @xmath11-plane .
each horizontal line corresponds to the trace of an excursion away from the maximum . in other words ,
the optimal strategy consists of continuing if the height of the excursion away from the running supremum @xmath131 does not exceed @xmath132 , otherwise we stop .
finally , in the case @xmath133 theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] asserts that the optimal strategy is to stop immediately .
this is intuitively clear since @xmath134 means that even when the process @xmath18 is increasing , the process @xmath135 is decreasing , i.e. , it is best to stop immediately .
+ inspired by the result in @xcite , we expect the strategy @xmath136 to be optimal , where @xmath137 is given in theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] and @xmath28 .
this means that the optimal boundary is expected to be a vertical line at @xmath138 combined with the curve described by @xmath139 characterised in lemma [ g ] .
if we define @xmath140 to be the unique solution to the equation @xmath141 , then our candidate optimal strategy splits the state space into the stopping regions @xmath142 and the continuation regions @xmath143 also let @xmath144 . and @xmath82 ( cf .
theorem [ combination_mainresult ] ) . ] clearly , if @xmath145 , then the only stopping time in @xmath146 is @xmath114 and hence the optimal value function is given by @xmath147 .
furthermore , when @xmath148 we have @xmath149 , so that the optimality of @xmath137 in implies @xmath150 .
consequently , the interesting case is really @xmath151 .
the key to verifying that @xmath136 is optimal , is to find the value function associated with it .
[ value_function1 ] let @xmath26 be given and suppose that @xmath81
. additionally assume that @xmath34 is atomless whenever @xmath0 has paths of bounded variation .
we then have @xmath152&=&v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s)\\ & : = & \begin{cases}v_{\epsilon_2}^*(x , s),&(x , s)\in c_{ii}^*\cup d_{ii}^*,\\u_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s),&(x , s)\in c_i^*\cup d_i^*,\\ e^{s\wedge\epsilon_2},&\text{otherwise,}\\ \end{cases}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath153 is given in theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] and @xmath154 our main contribution here is the closed form expression for @xmath155 , thereby allowing us to verify that the strategy @xmath136 is still optimal .
[ combination_mainresult ] let @xmath26 be given . 1 .
suppose that @xmath81 . additionally assume that @xmath34 is atomless whenever @xmath0 has paths of bounded variation .
then the solution to is given by with corresponding optimal strategy @xmath156 , where @xmath31 is given in theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] .
2 . if @xmath95 , then the solution to is given by with corresponding optimal strategy @xmath157 .
moreover , going through the proof of theorem [ combination_mainresult ] with @xmath158 $ ] and @xmath159 , one obtains the solution to with lower cap only .
[ consistency_barrier ] suppose that @xmath29 , that is , there is no upper cap . 1 .
let @xmath160 and suppose that @xmath81 and @xmath82
. additionally assume that @xmath34 is atomless whenever @xmath0 has paths of bounded variation .
then the solution to is given by @xmath161 where @xmath162 is given in proposition [ solution2 ] and @xmath163 the corresponding optimal strategy is given by @xmath164 , where @xmath165 is given in proposition [ solution2 ] .
2 . if @xmath81 and @xmath93 , then @xmath166 3 . if @xmath95 , then the solution of is given by @xmath167 with associated optimal strategy @xmath168 . in particular , if @xmath169 , where @xmath170 and @xmath171 is a standard brownian motion , then corollary [ consistency_barrier ] is nothing else than theorem 3.1 of @xcite .
however , this is not immediately clear an requires a simple , but lengthy computation which is provided in section [ applications ] .
let us consider the solution to from an intuitive point of view .
we shall restrict ourselves to the case where @xmath81 and @xmath82 . by proposition [ solution2 ]
, it follows in particular that @xmath86 .
it is clear that if @xmath172 such that @xmath173 , then it is optimal to stop immediately since one can not obtain a higher payoff than @xmath17 and waiting is penalised by exponential discounting .
if @xmath5 is much smaller than @xmath17 , then the cap @xmath17 should not have too much influence and one expects that the optimal value function @xmath174 and the corresponding optimal strategy @xmath175 look similar to the optimal value function @xmath162 and optimal strategy @xmath165 of problem .
however , if @xmath5 is close to the cap ( or the process gets close to the cap and has not yet been stopped ) , then the process @xmath0 should be stopped before " it is a distance @xmath176 away from its running maximum .
this can be explained as follows : the constant @xmath176 in the solution to problem quantifies the acceptable waiting time " for a much higher running supremum at a later point in time .
but if we impose a cap , there is no hope for a much higher supremum and therefore `` waiting the acceptable time '' for problem does not pay off in the situation with cap . with exponential discounting
we would therefore expect to exercise earlier .
in other words , we expect an optimal strategy of the form @xmath177 for some function @xmath21 satisfying @xmath178 and @xmath179 .
this qualitative guess can be turned into a quantitative guess by appealing to the general theory of optimal stopping ( cf .
@xcite ) . to this end , assume that @xmath0 is of unbounded variation ( @xmath180 )
. we will deal with the bounded variation case later .
from the general theory we informally expect the value function @xmath181 $ ] to satisfy the system @xmath182 where @xmath183 is the infinitesimal generator of the process @xmath0 under @xmath184 . moreover , the principle of smooth ( cf .
@xcite ) fit suggests that this system should be complemented by @xmath185 note that the smooth fit condition is not necessarily part of the general theory , it is imposed since we believe that it should hold in this setting .
this belief will be vindicated when we show that system with leads to the solution of problem . applying the strong markov property at @xmath186 and using and shows that @xmath187\\ & & + { \ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q\tau^+_s}1_{\{\tau^-_{s - g(s)}>\tau^+_s\}}\big]{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{s , s}\big[e^{-q\tau_g+\overline x_{\tau_g}}\big]\\ & = & e^s\bigg({\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(x - s+g(s))}}-{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x - s+g(s))}}\frac{{\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(g(s))}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(g(s))}}}\bigg)\\ & & + \frac{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x - s+g(s))}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(g(s))}}}v_g(s , s).\end{aligned}\ ] ] furthermore , the condition of smooth fit implies @xmath188 since
the first factor is strictly positive , this shows that @xmath189 equals @xmath190 .
this would mean that for @xmath172 such that @xmath191 we have @xmath192 having derived the form of a candidate optimal value function @xmath193 , we still need to do the same for @xmath21 . using
the normal reflection condition shows that our candidate function @xmath21 should satisfy the ordinary differential equation @xmath194 if @xmath0 is of bounded variation ( @xmath130 ) and @xmath82 , we informally expect from the general theory that @xmath193 satisfies the first two equations of .
additionally , the principle of continuous fit suggests that the system should be complemented by @xmath195 a very similar argument as above produces the same candidate value function and the same ordinary differential equation for @xmath21 .
one also sees that exactly the same argument leads to the same conclusion if @xmath196 and @xmath93 .
the idea is to define a suitable bijection @xmath197 from @xmath198 to @xmath199 whose inverse satisfies the differential equation and the boundary conditions . first consider the case @xmath82 .
it follows from proposition [ k_star ] that @xmath86 and that the function @xmath200 is negative on @xmath198 and satisfies @xmath201 and @xmath202 .
these properties imply that the function @xmath203 defined by @xmath204 is strictly decreasing .
if we can also show that the integral tends to @xmath205 as @xmath131 approaches @xmath176 we could deduce that @xmath197 is a bijection from @xmath198 to @xmath199 . indeed , appealing to de lhospital s rule and using
we obtain @xmath206 denote the term on the right - hand side by @xmath51 and note that @xmath207 due to the fact that @xmath208 is strictly positive and increasing on @xmath60 and since @xmath209 for @xmath82 .
hence , there exists a @xmath210 and @xmath211 such that @xmath212 for all @xmath213 .
thus , @xmath214 this shows that @xmath215 the discussion above permits us to define @xmath216 .
in particular , differentiating @xmath21 gives @xmath217 for @xmath218 and @xmath21 also satisfies @xmath178 and @xmath120 by construction .
as for the case @xmath93 , note that by and we have @xmath219 for @xmath220 which shows that @xmath118 .
moreover , together with implies that the map @xmath221 is negative on @xmath60 and satisfies @xmath201 and @xmath222 . defining @xmath223 as in , one deduces similarly as above that @xmath197 is a continuously differentiable bijection whose inverse satisfies the requirements .
we finish the proof by addressing the question of uniqueness . to this end , assume that there is another solution @xmath224 .
in particular , @xmath225 for @xmath226 and @xmath227 which implies that @xmath228 .
define the function @xmath229 for @xmath172 and let @xmath230 , where @xmath21 is as in lemma [ g ] . because of the infinite horizon and markovian claim structure of problem it is enough to check the following conditions : 1 .
[ cond1 ] @xmath231 for all @xmath172 , 2 .
[ cond2 ] @xmath232 is a right - continuous @xmath12-supermartingale for , 3 .
[ cond3 ] @xmath233 $ ] for all @xmath172 . to see why these are sufficient conditions ,
note that and together with fatou s lemma in the second inequality and doob s stopping theorem in the third inequality show that for @xmath112 , @xmath234&\leq&{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q\tau}v_\epsilon(x_\tau,\overline x_\tau)\big]\\ & \leq&\liminf_{t\to\infty}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q(t\wedge\tau)}v_\epsilon(x_{t\wedge\tau},\overline x_{t\wedge\tau})\big]\\ & \leq&v_\epsilon(x , s),\end{aligned}\ ] ] which in view of implies @xmath235 and @xmath236 .
the remainder of this proof is devoted to checking conditions - .
clearly , condition is satisfied since @xmath237 by definition of @xmath238 . given the inequality @xmath239\leq v_\epsilon(x , s),\quad(x , s)\in e,\label{inequality1}\ ] ] the supermartingale property is a consequence of the markov property of the process @xmath10 .
indeed , for @xmath109 we have @xmath240&=&e^{-qu}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x_u,\overline x_u}\big[e^{-q(t - u)}v_\epsilon(x_{t - u},\overline x_{t - u})\big]\\ & \leq & e^{-qu}v_\epsilon(x_u,\overline x_u).\end{aligned}\ ] ] we now prove , first under the assumption that @xmath180 , that is , @xmath0 is of unbounded variation .
let @xmath183 be the infinitesimal generator of @xmath0 and formally define the function @xmath241 it is shown in lemma [ generator_1 ] and [ generator_2 ] in the appendix that the function is well - defined on @xmath60 and satisfies @xmath242 for @xmath243 it is also well - defined and obviously @xmath244
. at zero the second derivative of @xmath238 does not exist . in this case
we understand the second derivative as the left derivative and hence @xmath245 .
now fix @xmath172 and define the semimartingale @xmath246 . applying an appropriate version of the it - meyer formula ( cf .
theorem 71 , ch .
iv of @xcite ) to @xmath247 yields @xmath12-a.s . @xmath248 where @xmath249 and @xmath250 . by the boundedness of @xmath238 on @xmath251
$ ] the first two stochastic integrals on the right are zero - mean martingales and by the compensation formula ( cf .
corollary 4.6 of @xcite ) the third and fourth term constitute a zero - mean martingale .
next , recall that @xmath252 and use stochastic integration by parts for semimartingales ( cf .
corollary 2 of theorem 22 , ch .
ii of @xcite ) to deduce that @xmath253 where @xmath254 is a zero - mean martingale .
the first integral is nonpositive since @xmath255 for all @xmath256 .
the last integral vanishes since the process @xmath257 only increments when @xmath258 and by definition of @xmath21 .
thus , taking expectations on both sides yields @xmath259\leq v_\epsilon(x , s).\ ] ] if @xmath130 ( x has bounded variation ) , then the it - meyer formula is nothing more than an appropriate version of the change of variable formula for stieltjes integrals and the rest of the proof follows the same line of reasoning as above .
the only change worth mentioning is that the generator of @xmath0 takes a different form .
specifically , one has to work with @xmath260 which satisfies all the required properties by lemma [ generator_1 ] and [ generator_2 ] in the appendix .
this completes the proof of the supermartingale property .
the assertion is clear for @xmath261 . hence , suppose that @xmath262 .
the assertion now follows from the proof of the supermartingale property .
more precisely , replacing @xmath263 by @xmath264 in and recalling that @xmath265 for @xmath266 shows that @xmath267=v_\epsilon(x , s).\ ] ] using that @xmath268 a.s . and dominated convergence one obtains the desired equality .
recall that the condition @xmath95 necessarily means that @xmath0 is of bounded variation and @xmath134 which after integrating by parts shows that @xmath12-a.s .
@xmath269 the result now follows similarly to the proof of the second part of proposition [ solution2 ] . for @xmath270
we obviously have @xmath271=e^s = u_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s).\ ] ] as for the case @xmath272 , write @xmath273&=&{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q(t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*)+\overline x_{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}>\tau^+_a\}}\big]\\ & + & { \ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q(t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*)+\overline x_{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}<\tau^+_a\}}\big]\end{aligned}\ ] ] and denote the first expectation on the right by @xmath274 and the second expectation by @xmath275 .
an application of the strong markov property at @xmath276 and the definition of @xmath153 ( see theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] ) give @xmath277{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{a , a}\big[e^{-q\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*+\overline x_{\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}}\big]\\ & = & \frac{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x-\epsilon_1)}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(a-\epsilon_1)}}}e^a{\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(g(a))}}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] recalling that @xmath278 and using the strong markov property at @xmath186 yields @xmath279\notag\\ & & + { \ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q\tau^+_s}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}>\tau^+_s\}}\big]{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{s , s}\big[e^{-qt_{\epsilon_1}+\overline x_{t_{\epsilon_1}}}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}<\tau^+_a\}}\big]\notag\\ & = & e^s\bigg({\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(x-\epsilon_1)}}-{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x-\epsilon_1)}}\frac{{\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}}\bigg)\notag\\ & & + \frac{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x-\epsilon_1)}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{s , s}\big[e^{-qt_{\epsilon_1}+\overline x_{t_{\epsilon_1}}}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}<\tau^+_a\}}\big]\notag\\ & = & e^s\bigg({\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(x-\epsilon_1)}}-{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x-\epsilon_1)}}\frac{{\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}}\bigg)\notag\\ & & + \frac{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(x-\epsilon_1)}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}}e^s{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{0,0}\big[e^{-q\tau^-_{\epsilon_1-s}+l_{\tau^-_{\epsilon_1-s}}}1_{\{\tau_{\epsilon_1-s}^-<\tau^+_{a - s}\}}\big].\label{last_expectation}\end{aligned}\ ] ] next , we compute the expectation on the right - hand side of by excursion theory . to be more precise
, we are going to make use of the compensation formula of excursion theory and hence we shall spend a moment setting up some necessary notation .
we refer the reader to @xcite , chapters 6 and 7 for background reading .
the process @xmath280 serves as local time at @xmath281 for the markov process @xmath282 under @xmath283 .
write @xmath284 for the right - continuous inverse of @xmath285
. the poisson point process of excursions indexed by local time shall be denoted by @xmath286 , where @xmath287 whenever @xmath288 .
accordingly , we refer to a generic excursion as @xmath289 ( or just @xmath290 for short as appropriate ) belonging to the space @xmath291 of canonical excursions .
the intensity measure of the process @xmath286 is given by @xmath292 , where @xmath293 is a measure on the space of excursions ( the excursion measure ) .
a functional of the canonical excursion which will be of interest is @xmath294 . a useful formula for this functional that we shall make use of is the following ( cf .
@xcite , equation ( 8.18 ) ) : @xmath295 provided that @xmath5 is not a discontinuity point in the derivative of @xmath296 ( which is only a concern when @xmath0 is of bounded variation , but we have assumed that in this case @xmath34 is atomless and hence @xmath296 is continuously differentiable on @xmath297 .
another functional that we will also use is @xmath298 , the first passage time above @xmath299 of the canonical excursion @xmath290 .
we now proceed with the promised calculation involving excursion theory .
specifically , an application of the compensation formula gives @xmath300\notag\\ & & = { \ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}\bigg[\sum_{0<t<\infty}e^{-ql^{-1}_{t-}+t}1_{\big\{\begin{subarray}{l } \overline\varepsilon_{u}\leq u-\epsilon_1+s\,\forall\,u < t\\ t < a - s\end{subarray}\big\}}1_{\{\overline\varepsilon_t > t-\epsilon_1+s\}}e^{-q\rho_{t-\epsilon_1+s}(\varepsilon_t)}\bigg]\notag\\ & & = { \ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}\bigg[\int_0^{a - s}dt\,e^{-ql^{-1}_{t}+t}1_{\{\overline\varepsilon_u\leq u-\epsilon_1+s\,\forall\,u < t\}}\int_{\mathcal{e}}1_{\{\overline\varepsilon > t-\epsilon_1+s\}}e^{-q\rho_{t-\epsilon_1+s}(\varepsilon)}n(d\varepsilon)\bigg]\\ & & = \int_0^{a - s } e^{t-\phi(q)t}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}\big[e^{-ql^{-1}_t+\phi(q)t}1_{\{\overline\varepsilon_u\leq u-\epsilon_1+s\,\forall\,u < t\}}\big]f(t-\epsilon_1+s)\,dt,\notag\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath301 .
the expression @xmath302 is taken from theorem 1 in @xcite .
next , note that @xmath303 is a stopping time and hence a change of measure according to shows that the expectation inside the integral can be written as @xmath304.\ ] ] using the properties of the poisson point process of excursions ( indexed by local time ) and with the help of and we may deduce @xmath305&=&\exp\bigg(-\int_0^tn_{\phi(q)}(\overline\varepsilon > u-\epsilon_1+s)\,du\bigg)\\ & = & e^{\phi(q)t}\frac{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(t-\epsilon_1+s)}}},\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath306 denotes the excursion measure associated with @xmath0 under @xmath307 . by a change of variables and
the fact that @xmath308 we further obtain @xmath309\\ & & = { \ensuremath{w^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}e^{\epsilon_1-s}\int_{s-\epsilon_1}^{g(a ) } e^{t}\frac{f(t)}{{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(t)}}}\,dt\\ & & = -{\ensuremath{w^{(q)}(s-\epsilon_1)}}e^{\epsilon_1-s}\int_{s-\epsilon_1}^{g(a)}e^t\bigg(\frac{z^{(q)}}{w^{(q)}}\bigg)^\prime(t)dt.\\\end{aligned}\ ] ] integrating by parts on the right - hand side , plugging the resulting expression into and finally adding @xmath274 and @xmath275 gives the result .
[ proof of theorem [ combination_mainresult ] ] we only prove the first part , the second follows by a very similar argument as in the proof of theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] when @xmath95 . recall that and from lemma [ value_function1 ] that @xmath273&=&v_{\epsilon_1}(x , s)\notag\\ \label{cond6}&:=&\begin{cases}v_{\epsilon_2}^*(x , s),&(x , s)\in c_{ii}^*\cup d_{ii}^*,\\ u_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s),&(x , s)\in c_i^*\cup d_i^*,\\ e^{s\wedge\epsilon_2},&(x , s)\in e\setminus
e_{\epsilon_1 } , \end{cases}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath153 and @xmath137 are given in theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] . it is enough to prove 1 .
[ cond4 ] @xmath310 for all @xmath311 , 2 .
[ cond5 ] @xmath312 is a right - continuous @xmath12-supermartingale for all . to see why this suffices , use and together with fatou s lemma in the second inequality and doob s optional stopping theorem in the third inequality to show that for @xmath313 , @xmath314&\leq&{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q\tau}v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x_\tau,\overline x_\tau)\big]\\ & \leq&\liminf_{t\to\infty}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[e^{-q(t\wedge\tau)}v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x_{t\wedge\tau},\overline x_{t\wedge\tau})\big]\\ & \leq&v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s),\end{aligned}\ ] ] which in view of implies optimality of @xmath315 and @xmath136 .
since condition is obviously satisfied , we devote the remainder of this proof to checking condition .
let @xmath316 and suppose that for all @xmath311 we have the inequality @xmath317\leq v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s)\label{inequality2}.\ ] ] the supermartingale property is then a consequence of the strong markov property of @xmath10 .
indeed , for @xmath109 we have @xmath318&=&y_{t_{\epsilon_1}}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\leq u\}}+{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x , s}\big[y_{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}}\big\vert\mathcal{f}_u\big]1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}>u\}}\\ & = & y_{t_{\epsilon_1}}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\leq u\}}+e^{-qu}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x_u,\overline x_u}\big[y_{(t - u)\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}}\big]1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}>u\}}\\ & \leq&y_{t_{\epsilon_1}}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\leq u\}}+e^{-qu}v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x_u,\overline x_u)1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}>u\}}\\ & = & y_{u\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] consequently , it boils down to proving .
this is clear for . if it can be extracted from the proof of theorem [ rwc_mainresult ] where it is shown that @xmath319 is a @xmath320-supermartinagle for all . in particular , the process @xmath321 is a @xmath12-supermartingale for .
the supermartingale property is preserved when stopping at @xmath322 and therefore we obtain , for @xmath323 , @xmath317\leq v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s).\label{part_of_inequality}\ ] ] thus , it remains to establish for @xmath324 . to this end , we first prove that the process @xmath325 is a @xmath12-martingale . the strong markov property gives@xmath326&=&y_{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*\leq t\}}\label{split}\\ & & + e^{-qt}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x_t,\overline x_t}\big[y_{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}\big]1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*>t\}}\notag.\end{aligned}\ ] ] by definition of @xmath315 we see that @xmath327 which shows that the second term on the right - hand side of equals @xmath328(1_{\{t\leq\tau^+_a\}}+1_{\{t>\tau^+_a\}})1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*>t\}}\\ & & = \big(e^{-qt}u_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x_t,\overline x_t)1_{\{t\leq\tau^+_a\}}+e^{-qt}v_{\epsilon_2}^*(x_t,\overline x_t)1_{\{t>\tau^+_a\}}\big)1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*>t\}}\\ & & = e^{-qt}v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x_t,\overline x_t)1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*>t\}}\\ & & = y_t1_{\{t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*>t\}}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] thus , @xmath329=y_{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}\ ] ] which implies the martingale property .
again using the strong markov property we obtain for @xmath272 , @xmath330&=&y_{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}}1_{\{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}\leq\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*\}}\\ & & + e^{-q\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}{\ensuremath{\mathbb{e}}}_{x_{\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*},\overline x_{\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}}\big[y_{(t - u)\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}}\big]\big\vert_{u=\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}1_{\{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}>\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*\}}\\ & \leq&y_{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}}1_{\{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}\leq\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*\}}+e^{-q\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*}v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x_{\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*},\overline x_{\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*})1_{\{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}>\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*\}}\\ & = & y_{t\wedge t_{\epsilon_1}\wedge\tau_{\epsilon_2}^*},\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the inequality follows from and the fact that @xmath331 on @xmath332 .
thus , @xmath333\leq u_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s)=v_{\epsilon_1,\epsilon_2}(x , s)$ ] for @xmath272 .
this completes the proof .
suppose that @xmath169 , where @xmath170 and @xmath171 is a standard brownian motion .
it is well - known that in this case the scale functions are given by @xmath334 on @xmath75 , where @xmath335 and @xmath336 . additionally , and @xmath337 and note that @xmath338 and @xmath339 are the roots of the quadratic equation @xmath340 .
choose a cap @xmath117 .
since @xmath0 is of unbounded variation , we have @xmath180 . if @xmath82 or , equivalently , @xmath341 , solving @xmath342 yields . otherwise , we have @xmath118 .
the function @xmath21 is then uniquely determined by the ordinary differential equation @xmath343 with boundary conditions @xmath179 and @xmath344 .
let @xmath160 . in the setting
above , the @xmath162 and @xmath345 part of the optimal value function @xmath346 are given by @xmath347 and @xmath348\\ & & + \bigg(\frac{e^x}{e^{\epsilon_1}}\bigg)^{\gamma_2}\bigg[\frac{e^{\epsilon_1}}{\beta}\bigg(\int_{\beta(s-\epsilon_1)}^{\beta k^*}\frac{e^{uy}}{e^{u}-1}\,du - e^{k^*\gamma_1}\bigg)\bigg],\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath349 and @xmath350 .
in particular , if we set @xmath351 , @xmath352 for some @xmath353 and @xmath354 for some @xmath355 we recover theorem 3.1 of @xcite .
the first part is a short calculation using the definition of @xmath356 @xmath339 and the fact that @xmath357 and @xmath358 . as for the second part , recall that @xmath163 it is easy to see that @xmath359 which , after a change of variables , gives @xmath360 denote the first integral on the right - hand side @xmath274 and the second integral @xmath275 .
after some algebra one sees that @xmath361 next , note that @xmath362 where the second equality follows from evaluating @xmath363 . plugging this into the expression for @xmath345 and simplifying yields @xmath364 rearranging the terms completes the proof .
in this section we provide some results concerning the infinitesimal generator of @xmath0 when applied to the scale function @xmath238 .
first assume that @xmath0 is of unbounded variation and define an operator @xmath365 as follows .
@xmath366 stands for the family of functions @xmath367 such that the integral @xmath368 is absolutely convergent for all @xmath369 . for any @xmath370
, we define @xmath371 similarly , if @xmath0 is of bounded variation , then @xmath366 stands for the family of @xmath372 such that the integral @xmath373 is absolutely convergent for all @xmath369 and , for @xmath370 , we define @xmath374 in the sequel it should always be clear from the context in which of the two cases we are and therefore there should be no ambiguity when writing @xmath366 and @xmath183 . [ generator_1 ] we have that @xmath375 and the function @xmath376 is continuous on @xmath60 .
we prove the unbounded and bounded variation case separately . +
* unbounded variation : * to show that @xmath375 it is enough the check that the integral part of @xmath377 is absolutely convergent since @xmath378 .
fix @xmath369 and write the integral part of @xmath377 as @xmath379 where the value @xmath380 is chosen such that @xmath381 . for the monotonicity of @xmath238 implies @xmath382 and for @xmath383 , using the mean value theorem , we have @xmath384}{\ensuremath{w^{(q)\prime}(z)}}.\label{estimate_2}\end{aligned}\ ] ] using these two estimates and defining @xmath385 , we see that @xmath386}{\ensuremath{w^{(q)\prime}(z)}}<\infty.\end{aligned}\ ] ] for continuity , let @xmath369 and choose @xmath380 such that @xmath387 as well as a sequence @xmath388 converging to @xmath5
. moreover , let @xmath389 such that for all @xmath390 we have @xmath391 .
in particular , it holds that @xmath392 for @xmath390 and hence , using the estimates in and , we have for all @xmath390 @xmath393}{\ensuremath{w^{(q)\prime}(z)}}1_{\{y\geq-\delta\}}+\big(2{\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(x_n)}}+{\ensuremath{z^{(q)\prime}(x_n)}}\big)1_{\{y<-\delta\}}\\ & & \leq qy^2\sup_{z\in[x-2\delta , x+\delta]}{\ensuremath{w^{(q)\prime}(z)}}1_{\{y\geq-\delta\}}+\big(2{\ensuremath{z^{(q)}(x+\delta)}}+{\ensuremath{z^{(q)\prime}(x+\delta)}}\big)1_{\{y<-\delta\}}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] since the last term is @xmath34-integrable , the continuity assertion follows by dominated convergence and the fact that @xmath378 . *
bounded variation : * to show that @xmath375 it is enough to show that the integral part of @xmath377 is absolutely convergent since @xmath394 . using the monotonicity and the definition of @xmath238 , it is easy to see that for fixed @xmath369 , @xmath395 the continuity assertion follows in a straightforward manner from
dominated convergence and the fact that @xmath394 . [ generator_2 ]
it holds that @xmath396 the idea behind behind this proof is very similar to the idea behind the proof of lemma 4.2 of @xcite .
recall that for all @xmath67 the process @xmath397 is a @xmath4-martingale ( cf .
remark 5 of @xcite ) .
first assume that @xmath0 is of unbounded variation .
let @xmath398 and define @xmath399 . applying the appropriate version of the it - meyer formula ( cf .
theorem 71 , ch .
iv of @xcite ) to @xmath400 yields @xmath401 where @xmath402 and @xmath403 . by the boundedness of @xmath238 on @xmath404
$ ] the first two stochastic integrals on the right are zero - mean martingales and by the compensation formula ( cf .
corollary 4.6 of @xcite )
the third and fourth term constitute a zero - mean martingale .
next , use stochastic integration by parts for semimartingales ( cf .
corollary 2 of theorem 22 , ch .
ii of @xcite ) to deduce that @xmath12-a.s .
@xmath405 where @xmath406 is a zero - mean martingale .
the claim now follows by exactly the same argument presented in the last part of the proof of lemma 4.2 of @xcite .
+ the bounded variation case is very similar and is based on an application of the change of variable formula for stiltjes integrals .
i would like to thank a. e. kyprianou for his discussions and remarks that led to improvements in this paper . | arxiv |
Can a negative pH exist? [duplicate]
**This question already has answers here**:
[Is a negative pH level physically possible?](/questions/5737/is-a-negative-ph-level-physically-possible)
(7 answers)
Closed 8 years ago.
I am programming a small model to simulate diffusion of $\ce{H+}$ ions in human tissue. It's quite a simplistic model based on a naive algorithm, and I'm mostly doing it to familiarize with the concept of agent-based models.
My space is an $n\times n$ grid where each position $(x;y)$ hosts $h$ $\ce{H+}$ ions.
I understand that $\ce{pH}$ can be calculated based on $h$ as $-\log(h)$. As I want my initial $\ce{pH}$ to be stable at average human $\ce{pH}$, I'd set $h$ across the matrix to be $10^{7.5}$. (In fact, as I don't want to simulate $10^{7.5}$ protons I decided each particle will represent a bulk of $10^5$ protons and made my equation $-\log(10^5\cdot h)$. )
However, I do not understand the equation, wouldn't it at some point yield a negative $\ce{pH}$ as $-\log(x) < 0$ for $x > 1$?
Yes, pH can be negative.
The official definition of pH is: negative log of H+ activity, not negative log of H+ concentration, however. See [pH Paradoxes: Demonstrating That It Is Not True That pH ≡ -log[H+]](http://pubs.acs.org/doi/abs/10.1021/ed083p752?journalCode=jceda8) J. Chem. Educ., 2006, 83 (5), p 752.
By either definition pH can be negative in concentrated solutions of strong acids. For example 5M HCl would have a negative pH.
Like you said the $\ce{pH}$ of blood is approximately $7.5$. So since
$$ \ce{pH} = -\log[\ce{H+}] \\
\text{or}\\
[\ce{H+}] = 10^{-\ce{pH}}$$
this means that the proton or hydrogen ion (same thing) has a concentration of $10^{-7.5}$ not $10^{7.5}$ (notice the negative). If you're dealing with blood you'll never have to worry about negative $\ce{pH}$ values. Like DavePhD stated, negative $\ce{pH}$ values only occur with high concentrations of strong acids.
In short, I think where you're going wrong is with $-\log(10^{7.5})$. It should be $-\log(10^{-7.5})$.
As a side note, you are correct. $\log(x)\geq0$ for $x \geq 1$. So $-\log(x) \leq0$ for $x\geq1$, but when do you ever have proton concentrations above 1 in human biology? Practically never.
$\text{pH}$ can definitely be negative.
It is defined as $$\text{pH}=-\log[\text{H}^{+}]$$
Note that if the $[\text{H}^{+}]\geq 1\text{M}$, the $\text{pH}$ will become negative.
Practically, this is only possible when you have an ultrapure solution of a strong acid.
Hope this helps.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
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finally skills of communication , active listening , control negative emotions , problem solving and conflict resolution , are extracted as the most common skills trained in all of effective and successful programs to enhance marital relationship and prevent distress .
research show that lack of communication skills , marital conflicts and sexual dissatisfaction were the main and common causes of marital dissatisfaction and divorce in the country ( 2023 ) .
after that , the mainframe work of national post marriage package with primary preventive approach was designed in three main domains of mutual and reciprocal rights of spouses towards each other from islam 's perspective , communication skills and sex education . after studying comprehensively on the scope ,
the main topics and its pertaining content for each domain was created by researcher regarding the raw format received from the ministry with supervision of an experienced expert of health bureau .
considering content of package as the training instrument , converting raw data into educational package form , was the first step of development of the scale in the process of content validation . to prepare the package , broad foreign and local librarian and electronic resources were studied on the most widespread and successful programs currently running in the world including premarital relationship enhancement and prevention ( prep)(14,15 ) , prepare enrich(16,17 ) , relationship enhancement ( re)(18 ) and the couple communication program(ccp)(19 ) .
finally skills of communication , active listening , control negative emotions , problem solving and conflict resolution , are extracted as the most common skills trained in all of effective and successful programs to enhance marital relationship and prevent distress .
research show that lack of communication skills , marital conflicts and sexual dissatisfaction were the main and common causes of marital dissatisfaction and divorce in the country ( 2023 ) .
after that , the mainframe work of national post marriage package with primary preventive approach was designed in three main domains of mutual and reciprocal rights of spouses towards each other from islam 's perspective , communication skills and sex education . after studying comprehensively on the scope ,
the main topics and its pertaining content for each domain was created by researcher regarding the raw format received from the ministry with supervision of an experienced expert of health bureau .
firstly , qualitative content developing panel whose 6 experts possessed appropriate content knowledge in marriage subject was executed . prior to the next panel ,
4 knowledgeable professors of thesis were asked to specify whether the content is appropriate , related and clear .
third step was taken with constituting the second panel , involving 13 experienced panelists , to rate the objectives of the program on a 6-point likert scale with defined cut of point of 0.75 . then supposing the content of program as an educational measurement , quantitative psychometric properties of face validity and cvr and cvi were assessed by third judgment expert panel
. minimum value of cvr for the specified number of panelists was calculated and presented by lawshe ( table1 ) . according to this table , accepted cut - off point for 10 experts , based on a one - tailed test at the .05 level of significance , was 0.62 .
the mean of the cvr values of the retained items resulted in cvi index ( 24 ) .
minimum values of cvr and cvr one tailed test , p= .05 -when all say essential , the cvr is computed to be 1.00 , ( it is adjusted to .99 for ease of manipulation ) -when the number saying essential is more than half , but less than all , the cvr is somewhere between zero and .99 step1 : six experts with well - developed views on the research topic of psychology , family counseling , heath education fields and experienced in preparation of educational package of tehran and ghom universities was contacted by e - mail and telephone and invited to participate in the study
. then invitations to participate in the study along with firsthand version of educational content prepared by the researcher , a brief description of the study and the main goal of panel formation were sent to them by e - mail .
after 2 months , the researcher received their professional comments on the area they were asked ; mainly resulted in generating , replacing or refining topics and pertaining sub- contents , as the essential step of developing instrument . to achieve the purpose ,
their comments were wrote down by the researcher and for clarification of vague statements , an interview of 30 minutes was , on scheduled appointment time , performed with each expert separately on three qualitative elements : representativeness , comprehensiveness and clarity which had firstly been asked ( 25 ) .
then the panelists were asked to vote the results . after valuing and summing the values of each idea
representativeness in this study referred to the degree to which each part of content reflected its nominated topic , in other words , the closeness of the contents to the constructs .
comprehensiveness of the entire instrument identified content , which they perceived to be incompatible with its respective topic .
finally , the experts were asked to identify the clarity of wording to ensure that there were clear and understandable .
after writing the experts ' comments on the paper , their conversation were grouped into common and opposing comments and asked them again until the experts reached a consensus .
step2 : in the second step , the modified version 2 , based on the comments of first panel was sent to 4 faculty members of shahroud university , who were student 's thesis professors , by e - mail and they were asked to comment on appropriateness , consistency , adequacy , clarity , simplicity , relatedness and attractiveness . after receiving their comments ,
this process was repeated 2 times until consensus was achieved on topics and its content resulted in production of version 4 .
step 3 : 13 experienced members from wide range multidisciplinary specialties including psychiatry , psychology , family counseling , community medicine , epidemiology , reproductive health , health education , general physician fields and expertise of health bureau on the area were intentionally selected .
the same process of invitations of first panel was carried out by e - mail .
the whole of modified content of last version was , based on each essential topic and its sub content carrying educational message , segmented into 63 sections . then specific educational objective , which achieving these objectives altogether was the main goal of the study , in one of three cognitive , affective or behavioral domains of blooms ' taxonomy were created for content of each topic and sent to the members .
the panelists were asked to measurethe degree of their agreement in the response to the question if the specified objective can be achieved with its respective topic and content .
the responses were assessed on a 6-point likert scales with options of completely disagree , disagree , relatively disagree , relatively agree , agree and completely agree . to determine which objective should be retained or rejected , a criterion for each objective was established .
objective being validated on the agreement scale was considered within validation range if 75% or more of the experts chose the option of agree or completely agree .
in addition , the experts were requested to give any comment content if they were willing . after receiving
, their responses lasted 2 months , the number of agree and completely agreement options was calculated for each objective , tabulated in table by researcher , and sent to each panelist .
then the panel meeting for final ranking of panelists ' ideas was constituted in virtual environment and the objectives out of criteria were deleted .
step 4 : third panel was completely different from the previous one both in the individuals and in member count , consisted of 10 members of relevant training qualifications and more in executive positions .
the cvr indicator of necessity and the cvi representativeness for relevance , simplicity and clarity of questions were , based on expert views , valued in this step ( 26 ) . with similar process of previous panels ,
the invitations and modified content according to couples ' viewpoints and respective objectives were sent to the knowledgeable members by e - mail . to determine cvr ,
the members were asked to value the content validity of specific objective representative of its content on three spectra : it is necessary
, it is helpful but not necessary , not necessary . in order to calculate the cvi for each objective , features like being relative , being simple and clear should be taken into account using four - choice likert scale ( 27 ) .
polit and beck believe that assessing the element of relatedness will suffice for calculating cvi ( 28 ) .
so to determine the cvi , relatedness was assessed from ranging 1=not relevant to 4=highly relevant ( 29 ) .
the minimum cvr for each item to be considered as acceptable was 0.78 ( 26 ) .
after constituting the third panel , in order to achieve qualitative face validity , modified version 6 , was given to evidence based adequate number of 5 newly wedding couples ( 10 persons ) , similar to the target groups of the study , to read and assess it in terms of simplicity , readability and clarity ( 30 , 31 ) .
firstly , qualitative content developing panel whose 6 experts possessed appropriate content knowledge in marriage subject was executed . prior to the next panel ,
4 knowledgeable professors of thesis were asked to specify whether the content is appropriate , related and clear .
third step was taken with constituting the second panel , involving 13 experienced panelists , to rate the objectives of the program on a 6-point likert scale with defined cut of point of 0.75 . then supposing the content of program as an educational measurement , quantitative psychometric properties of face validity and cvr and cvi were assessed by third judgment expert panel
. minimum value of cvr for the specified number of panelists was calculated and presented by lawshe ( table1 ) . according to this table , accepted cut - off point for 10 experts , based on a one - tailed test at the .05 level of significance , was 0.62 .
the mean of the cvr values of the retained items resulted in cvi index ( 24 ) .
minimum values of cvr and cvr one tailed test , p= .05 -when all say essential , the cvr is computed to be 1.00 , ( it is adjusted to .99 for ease of manipulation ) -when the number saying essential is more than half , but less than all , the cvr is somewhere between zero and .99
step1 : six experts with well - developed views on the research topic of psychology , family counseling , heath education fields and experienced in preparation of educational package of tehran and ghom universities was contacted by e - mail and telephone and invited to participate in the study . then invitations to participate in the study along with firsthand version of educational content prepared by the researcher , a brief description of the study and the main goal of panel formation were sent to them by e - mail .
after 2 months , the researcher received their professional comments on the area they were asked ; mainly resulted in generating , replacing or refining topics and pertaining sub- contents , as the essential step of developing instrument . to achieve the purpose ,
their comments were wrote down by the researcher and for clarification of vague statements , an interview of 30 minutes was , on scheduled appointment time , performed with each expert separately on three qualitative elements : representativeness , comprehensiveness and clarity which had firstly been asked ( 25 ) .
then the panelists were asked to vote the results . after valuing and summing the values of each idea
representativeness in this study referred to the degree to which each part of content reflected its nominated topic , in other words , the closeness of the contents to the constructs .
comprehensiveness of the entire instrument identified content , which they perceived to be incompatible with its respective topic .
finally , the experts were asked to identify the clarity of wording to ensure that there were clear and understandable .
after writing the experts ' comments on the paper , their conversation were grouped into common and opposing comments and asked them again until the experts reached a consensus .
step2 : in the second step , the modified version 2 , based on the comments of first panel was sent to 4 faculty members of shahroud university , who were student 's thesis professors , by e - mail and they were asked to comment on appropriateness , consistency , adequacy , clarity , simplicity , relatedness and attractiveness . after receiving their comments ,
this process was repeated 2 times until consensus was achieved on topics and its content resulted in production of version 4 .
step 3 : 13 experienced members from wide range multidisciplinary specialties including psychiatry , psychology , family counseling , community medicine , epidemiology , reproductive health , health education , general physician fields and expertise of health bureau on the area were intentionally selected .
the same process of invitations of first panel was carried out by e - mail .
the whole of modified content of last version was , based on each essential topic and its sub content carrying educational message , segmented into 63 sections .
then specific educational objective , which achieving these objectives altogether was the main goal of the study , in one of three cognitive , affective or behavioral domains of blooms ' taxonomy were created for content of each topic and sent to the members .
the panelists were asked to measurethe degree of their agreement in the response to the question if the specified objective can be achieved with its respective topic and content .
the responses were assessed on a 6-point likert scales with options of completely disagree , disagree , relatively disagree , relatively agree , agree and completely agree . to determine
which objective should be retained or rejected , a criterion for each objective was established .
objective being validated on the agreement scale was considered within validation range if 75% or more of the experts chose the option of agree or completely agree .
in addition , the experts were requested to give any comment content if they were willing . after receiving
, their responses lasted 2 months , the number of agree and completely agreement options was calculated for each objective , tabulated in table by researcher , and sent to each panelist . then the panel meeting for final ranking of panelists ' ideas was constituted in virtual environment and the objectives out of criteria were deleted .
step 4 : third panel was completely different from the previous one both in the individuals and in member count , consisted of 10 members of relevant training qualifications and more in executive positions .
the cvr indicator of necessity and the cvi representativeness for relevance , simplicity and clarity of questions were , based on expert views , valued in this step ( 26 ) . with similar process of previous panels ,
the invitations and modified content according to couples ' viewpoints and respective objectives were sent to the knowledgeable members by e - mail . to determine cvr ,
the members were asked to value the content validity of specific objective representative of its content on three spectra : it is necessary , it is helpful but not necessary , not necessary . in order to calculate the cvi for each objective , features like being relative , being simple and clear should be taken into account using four - choice likert scale ( 27 ) .
polit and beck believe that assessing the element of relatedness will suffice for calculating cvi ( 28 ) .
so to determine the cvi , relatedness was assessed from ranging 1=not relevant to 4=highly relevant ( 29 ) .
the minimum cvr for each item to be considered as acceptable was 0.78 ( 26 ) .
after constituting the third panel , in order to achieve qualitative face validity , modified version 6 , was given to evidence based adequate number of 5 newly wedding couples ( 10 persons ) , similar to the target groups of the study , to read and assess it in terms of simplicity , readability and clarity ( 30 , 31 ) .
guided by the interview data of panel 1 , one topic of stress management was deleted and topics and its content : barriers to empathy ,
this step is often viewed as the minimum psychometric requirement for measurement adequacy and is the first step in validation of a new measure ( 25 ) .
comments of thesis professors of shahroud university of medical sciences were mainly on simplification , clarity and wording , which were corrected .
three objectives as representative its content including emotional intelligence , the dimension of emotional intelligence and effective factors on sexual disorders treatment being less than defined cut of point criteria , were deleted .
the objectives leveled more than cut of point , were eligible to be retained in the package .
the second group of validation criteria of a panel is related to panel consensus on item , which is different from panel agreement .
however , 3 other objectives for their theoretical features were deleted from the content as consensus was not reached in the meeting . the results of this panel are briefly shown in table 2 .
percentage of panelist 's degree agreement on objective cvr of total 57 objectives as representative its content were all above the cut - off values presented in lawshe table ( 0.62 ) , therefore all content were retained for the next stage .
also based on the results of cvi calculation , all the objectives were accepted , since their cvi values were greater than 0.78 .
the objectives of first domain and their cvr and cvi indices are shown in the table 3 .
cvr ( content validity ratio ) and cvi ( content validity index ) of educational objectives of first domain : reciprocal couples ' rights from islam 's view after the version 7 was produced in the consequence of assessing face validity on couples ' viewpoints , it was submitted to health responsible authority of ministry . within 20 days ,
authenticity of content was confirmed by the respectable director of the health and population bureau of ministry and program was authorized to implementing in the country .
guided by the interview data of panel 1 , one topic of stress management was deleted and topics and its content : barriers to empathy ,
this step is often viewed as the minimum psychometric requirement for measurement adequacy and is the first step in validation of a new measure ( 25 ) .
comments of thesis professors of shahroud university of medical sciences were mainly on simplification , clarity and wording , which were corrected .
three objectives as representative its content including emotional intelligence , the dimension of emotional intelligence and effective factors on sexual disorders treatment being less than defined cut of point criteria , were deleted .
the objectives leveled more than cut of point , were eligible to be retained in the package .
the second group of validation criteria of a panel is related to panel consensus on item , which is different from panel agreement . however , 3 other objectives for their theoretical features were deleted from the content as consensus was not reached in the meeting .
cvr of total 57 objectives as representative its content were all above the cut - off values presented in lawshe table ( 0.62 ) , therefore all content were retained for the next stage .
also based on the results of cvi calculation , all the objectives were accepted , since their cvi values were greater than 0.78 .
the objectives of first domain and their cvr and cvi indices are shown in the table 3 .
cvr ( content validity ratio ) and cvi ( content validity index ) of educational objectives of first domain : reciprocal couples ' rights from islam 's view
after the version 7 was produced in the consequence of assessing face validity on couples ' viewpoints , it was submitted to health responsible authority of ministry . within 20 days ,
authenticity of content was confirmed by the respectable director of the health and population bureau of ministry and program was authorized to implementing in the country .
the current study aimed to validate content of iranian couples ' tailored post marriage program prior to receiving authorization required for its installment in health care system . for this purpose similar scientific sequential devellis ' ( 1991 )
procedure , alternating between qualitative and quantitative methods , of domain identification , qualitative content generation and quantified judgment were exactly traced ( 32 ) .
based on hinkin 's guideline ( 12 ) and in parallel to palter 's and boll studies ( 33 , 34 ) , item developmental process was followed out to specify the area of content through a comprehensive literature review by the researcher .
based on patton 's view , the sample size is not necessarily needed to be large in qualitative interview since information richness of the cases and the observational and analytical abilities of the researcher have more effect on the validity , meaningfulness , and insights than sample size ( 35 ) . within qualitative interview , mainly being item - oriented developmental step , only three topics generated versus one major topic rejected .
this result was , in disagreement with beck illustration ( 36 ) and most studies ( 31 , 37 , 38 ) in which the pool of items was created during qualitative inquiry .
this may be attributed to not only original tool development by professional writers but also time consuming and well - processed relevant literature review conducted by the researcher .
sixty - three well - prepared educational objectives written for processed content were given to the 13 multi - disciplinary specialists to rate them with respect to its sub - content on purposely selected 6-point likert scale .
this kind of scale , without neutral rating of forced choicemethod , is preferred when participants are conversant and familiar with the matter ( 39 ) .
refinement process of this panel resulted in reduction of 6 objectives , 3 due to being lower than determined minimum cut off value of 0.75 and 3 for being out of panelists ' consensus .
the findings of the last panel indicated that parallel to other well - processed studies ( 32 , 40 , 41 ) , the cvr of 57 retained objectives were all above the cut - off value 0.62 for 10 panelists ( table 2 ) . according to lawshe , if more than half of the panelists indicate that an item is essential , that item has at least content validity ( 26 ) .
contrary to rahimi 's study in which 24 items were omitted for cvr and cvi indices were lower than 0.62 and 0.8 respectively ( 31 ) , relevance of all objectives were accepted , since their cvi values were greater than acceptable lower limit of 0.8 recommended by pilot and beck ( 28 ) .
very high - evaluated indices of cvr and cvi , ranging between 0.8 to1.00 reflected high agreement of panelists on the post marriage program content eligible to implement in health care system of country .
no study reviewed used highly credible method of psychometric properties of cvr and cvi for content validity of educational program with converting its content to objectives presented in this paper . whereas this method was firstly proposed to determine not only content validity of tests and measures but also of procedures , contents and other attainable outcomes provided that the right and correct steps were taken observed in this study ( 26 ) .
we are convinced that using psychometric properties of cvr and cvi indices is useful to validate content of educational program .
in first qualitative panel , which was performed to determine the right retained and rejected content and topics , the purposive sampling method was used . whereas the most participants of the panel consisted of policy makers , research professors , family health service providers involved or interested in installing the program , so they may be biased .
however , the high agreement rate of panelists who were mostly of nondependent executive experts extracted from the qualitative indices show that the research strategy have tried to remove this shortcoming .
the study demonstrated the validation , with high levels of agreement among experts reflected in quantitative indices , exactly expected for its primary professional generation and well - developed process .
after confirmation of ethics committee of shmu and approval of shmu and authorization signed by health bureau , the study was commenced . ethical issues ( including plagiarism , informed consent , misconduct , data fabrication and/or falsification , double publication and/or submission , redundancy , etc . ) | pubmed |
ly@xmath1 emitters ( laes ) can be a probe of cosmic reionization , since their ly@xmath1 emission is absorbed or scattered by neutral hydrogen if the universe is not completely ionized , causing ly@xmath1 luminosity function ( lf ) to decline as the fraction of neutral hydrogen in intergalactic medium ( igm ) increases @xcite . from @xmath11 to 5.7 ,
the ly@xmath1 lf was observed not to evolve ( e.g. , * ? ? ?
* ) . also , many authors constructed statistically large and uniform samples of @xmath12 and 6.6 laes with some candidates spectroscopically confirmed @xcite .
they found that the ly@xmath1 lf significantly declines from @xmath12 to 6.6 , suggesting that the universe could be partly neutral at @xmath13 .
the decline of the lf was further supported with large spectroscopic samples newly obtained by independent observations of @xcite and @xcite .
meanwhile , @xcite found that ly@xmath1 lf also declines from @xmath126.6 to 7 .
these studies all imply that neutral fraction might increase with redshift at @xmath14 .
moreover , @xcite noticed that average ly@xmath1 equivalent width ( ew ) is slightly smaller at @xmath13 than 5.7 .
@xcite also found that ly@xmath1 ew distributions of @xmath155.7 laes are similar , but ews of @xmath13 laes are smaller . on the other hand , some lyman break galaxies ( lbgs )
are known to show strong ly@xmath1 emission , while some do not .
fraction of ly@xmath1 emitting lbgs increases from @xmath16 to 6 @xcite but suddenly drops from @xmath10 to 7 @xcite .
the lower ew and ly@xmath1 lbg fraction at @xmath14 could be due to the rapid evolution of neutral fraction from @xmath10 to 7 .
this is consistent with the idea of the partly neutral universe suggested by the decline of the ly@xmath1 lf .
however , some authors found a fair number of @xmath5 and 7.7 lae candidates and claim that the ly@xmath1 lf does not evolve from @xmath126.6 to 77.7 @xcite .
their results contradict late reionization at @xmath17 .
conversely , @xcite also surveyed @xmath6 laes but did not detect any laes and support reionization at @xmath17 .
interestingly , all the lfs implying no evolution at @xmath18 are based on photometric samples .
if they suffer some contaminations , the conclusion would be different . the best way to reveal
this is to identify all the candidates by spectroscopy .
however , this requires very expensive campaigns that observe many candidates spread over different sky locations with sufficiently long integration to ensure detections or non - detections of ly@xmath1 . alternatively , simpler but indirect method is to conduct one imaging and spectroscopy survey and compare its _ contamination free _ result with the photometric lfs . here
, we use our imaging and spectroscopy survey of @xmath57.1 laes for this purpose .
we did this survey in 2003 , using the subaru telescope faint object camera and spectrograph ( focas , * ? ? ?
* ) and a narrowband filter , nb980 ( @xmath19 , @xmath20 ; see figure [ filtertransmission ] ) as a groundwork for our subsequent larger @xmath5 lae surveys in 20052010 by @xcite and @xcite .
since no detailed information about @xmath21 galaxies was available in 2003 , we selected lae candidates with tentative color criteria and conducted spectroscopy of them . in this paper , we re - analyze the nb980 data , refine the color criteria based on recent knowledge of @xmath0 galaxies , select @xmath57.1 lae candidates and see if their spectra were taken in 2003 to derive a contamination - free result . in section 2 ,
we describe our imaging data .
we perform selection of lae candidates in section 3 . in section 4
, we explain the result of follow - up spectroscopy . in section 5 ,
we compare our nb980 survey with previously derived @xmath0 ly@xmath1 photometric lfs .
we conclude in section 6 . throughout
we use an @xmath22 cosmology and @xmath23 aperture ab magnitudes , unless otherwise specified .
the nb980 survey targeted the subaru deep field ( sdf , * ? ? ? * ) and the sky region around a galaxy cluster ms1520.1 + 3002 ( hereafter , ms1520 ) . for the sdf
, broadband @xmath24 and narrowband nb816 ( @xmath25 , @xmath26 ) and nb921 ( @xmath27 , @xmath28 ) images were taken with the subaru telescope suprime - cam @xcite by the sdf project and nb973 ( @xmath29 , @xmath30 ) image by @xcite .
all the sdf images were convolved to have a common point spread function ( psf ) of @xmath31 . limiting magnitudes at @xmath32 with @xmath23 diameter apertures are ( @xmath33 , @xmath34 , @xmath35 , @xmath36 , @xmath37 , nb816 , nb921 , nb973 ) @xmath38 ( 28.45 , 27.74 , 27.80 , 27.43 , 26.62 , 26.63 , 26.54 , 25.47 ) .
the @xmath36 and @xmath37 images of ms1520 were also taken by the suprime - cam and have psfs of @xmath39 and @xmath40 and limiting magnitudes ( @xmath23 aperture , @xmath32 ) of 27.33 and 25.74 .
we imaged the sdf and ms1520 with nb980 and focas on 2003 may 78 .
the seeing was @xmath41@xmath42 .
the 600 sec exposures were dithered with a simple pattern to minimize loss of the survey area .
first , every time each exposure was taken , the pointing was shifted by @xmath23 in the ra direction . after repeating this 8 ( 5 ) times for the sdf ( ms1520 ) , the pointing was returned to the original position in the ra direction but moved by @xmath43 in the dec direction .
we repeated this procedure 3 times .
the total integration times were 4 ( sdf ) and 2.7 ( ms1520 ) hours .
we reduced the nb980 data in the same manners as in @xcite .
the dithered exposures were registered and combined to produce final stacked images of the sdf and ms1520 ( hereafter nb980-sdf and nb980-ms1520 ) as shown in figure [ nb980images ] .
this reduced the fringing , but slight residual remained in the stacked images .
the standard star hz44 @xcite was imaged during the observations to calibrate the photometric zeropoints .
they were nb980 @xmath38 30.27 mag adu@xmath44 for both nb980-sdf and nb980-ms1520 .
the psfs and @xmath23 aperture @xmath32 limiting magnitudes of nb980-sdf and nb980-ms1520 were @xmath45 and @xmath46 , and nb980 @xmath47 and 24.44 , respectively . assuming the minimum detectable rest frame ly@xmath1 ew of @xmath48 ( see section [ selectioncriteria ] ) , these magnitudes correspond to ly@xmath1 flux limits of @xmath49 and @xmath50 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 or ly@xmath1 luminosity limits of @xmath52 and @xmath53 erg s@xmath44 , respectively .
the effective area imaged with the focas and nb980 was @xmath54 arcmin@xmath55 ( sdf plus ms1520 ) .
the comoving distance along the line of sight corresponding to the redshift @xmath56 probed by the nb980 was @xmath57mpc .
hence , we surveyed a comoving volume of @xmath58 mpc@xmath59 .
@xmath36 , @xmath37 and nb980 images ( from left to right ) of ms1520-a .
the north is up , and the east is to the left.,title="fig:",width=321 ] +
we first matched astrometry and pixel scales of all the suprime - cam images to those of nb980-sdf and nb980-ms1520 . also , we convolved psfs of the @xmath37-band images to those of nb980-sdf and nb980-ms1520 to calculate @xmath60 color by measuring @xmath37 and nb980 magnitudes with the same aperture to select lae candidates in section [ selectioncriteria ] .
then , we performed source detection and photometry with the sextractor @xcite .
the pixel scale of the nb980 images is @xmath61 pixel@xmath44 .
we regarded an area larger than 5 contiguous pixels with a flux greater than @xmath62 as an object .
we detected objects in nb980-sdf and nb980-ms1520 and did photometry in other wavebands , using the double - imaging mode .
the @xmath23 diameter aperture magnitudes were measured with the mag_aper parameter and total magnitudes the mag_auto .
finally , combining the photometry in all the wavebands , we constructed the nb980-detected object catalogs for the sdf and ms1520 .
figure [ filtertransmission ] shows that the nb980 band is located at the red side of the @xmath37 band .
if the lyman break of an lbg is redshifted into nb980 , it results in a significant excess of @xmath63 . if the spectrum has ly@xmath1 emission , the excess is more significant .
we used this characteristic to isolate @xmath21 lbgs / laes .
we examined the expected @xmath60 colors of @xmath21 lbgs / laes and derived candidate selection criteria .
we first created model spectra of lbgs having the power law continua @xmath64 with several different slopes @xmath65 and then model spectra of laes by adding ly@xmath1 emission with rest frame ews of @xmath66 and 300 .
we did not assume any specific line profile or velocity dispersion .
instead , we simply added the total line flux value to the spectra at 1216 .
then , we redshifted the spectra to @xmath678 and applied ly@xmath1 absorption by igm , using the prescription of @xcite .
colors of lbgs / laes were calculated using the model spectra and transmission curves of @xmath37 and nb980 and plotted as a function of redshift in figure [ candidatecolor1 ] . for comparison , we also calculated the colors of e ( elliptical ) , sbc , scd and i m ( irregular ) galaxies using the @xcite template spectra .
as clearly seen , lbgs ( @xmath68 ) and laes ( @xmath69 ) are expected to produce significant excess in nb980 against @xmath37 at @xmath217.1 .
also , @xmath703 ellipticals show modest excess due to the 4000 balmer break .
we adopted @xmath71 as a criterion that selects @xmath217.1 lbgs / laes avoiding ellipticals .
we used the following criteria to select lbg / lae candidates . @xmath72 the ( 1 ) is the object detection limit .
the ( 2 ) means nondetections in @xmath33 , @xmath34 , @xmath35 , @xmath36 , nb816 and nb921 for sdf and in @xmath36 for ms1520 .
no object should be seen by eyes in any of these bands since the flux blueward of ly@xmath1 should be absorbed by igm .
this eliminates interlopers such as l / m / t type stars and low redshift galaxies such as h@xmath73 , [ oiii ] , [ oii ] , h@xmath1 or [ sii ] line emitters .
the ( 3 ) is the nb980 excess as explained above . in calculating the color ,
if the @xmath37 magnitude was fainter than @xmath74 , it was replaced by the @xmath74 value .
the ( 4 ) is @xmath75 meaning a detection in nb973 whose bandpass targets @xmath767.1 ly@xmath1 .
we have the nb973 image of the sdf .
because the nb973 image is deeper than the nb980 image , any object detected in the nb980 image should be detected and visually seen in the nb973 image .
we applied the criteria ( 1)(4 ) to the nb980-detected object catalogs .
then , we visually inspected the nb980 images of selected objects to remove obviously spurious ones such as tails of saturated pixels from bright stars , halos of bright stars , noises of anomalously high fluxes at the edges of ccds and field of view , and residual of fringing . as a result , one object in ms1520 remained ( hereafter ms1520-a ) .
table 1 and figure 4 show its photometry and images .
.photometry of ms1520-a .
[ cols="^,^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] + note : the columns 35 ( 6 ) are @xmath23 aperture ( total ) magnitudes .
the limits are @xmath74 .
in our previous nb980 survey in 2003 , we had selected more candidates with more inclusive criteria @xmath77 and @xmath62 limiting magnitudes . then , we had conducted spectroscopy on 2003 june 2223 with multi - object slits and focas .
we confirmed that ms1520-a selected in section [ selectioncriteria ] had been also observed in 2003 . at that time
, we had used vph950 grism ( grating of 1095 lines mm@xmath44 and resolution of @xmath78 ) with o58 order - cut filter ( coverage of 5801000 nm ) and @xmath79 slits .
integration time was 4 hours comprising six 2400 seconds exposures dithered along the slit by @xmath80 .
the spectra of the standard star feige 34 @xcite had been also obtained and used for flux calibration .
the data reduction was performed in the same standard manners as in @xcite .
we inspected the sky - subtracted stacked spectrum of ms1520-a and could identify neither ly@xmath1 emission , a uv continuum nor any other spectral features . to see if we had enough depth to detect ly@xmath1 , we compared the sky background rms of the stacked spectrum with ly@xmath1 flux estimated from nb980 magnitude . if we assume @xmath5 and a rest frame ly@xmath1 ew as low as @xmath48 for the most severe case , @xmath81% of the nb980 flux comes from ly@xmath1 line , and total nb980 magnitude of ms1520-a , 23.42 converts to ly@xmath1 flux , @xmath82 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 .
@xcite estimated that slit loss of the flux in the focas spectroscopy of a @xmath83 lae iok-1 @xcite is @xmath84% with a @xmath79 slit under a seeing of @xmath85 .
we also used @xmath79 slits for our spectroscopy , and the seeing was also @xmath86 .
if we apply this slit loss , the flux is @xmath87 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 .
meanwhile , we used binning of 4 pixels ( equivalent to @xmath88 , smaller than the seeing of @xmath89 ) in the spatial direction to extract one dimensional spectrum of ms1520-a . calculating the variance in unbinned pixels in the dispersion direction at 97509850 ( nb980 passband ) in this spectrum , we estimated the sky rms to be @xmath90 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 @xmath44 .
the fwhm of ly@xmath1 line , for example , of a @xmath13 lae varies from 5.5 to 14.6 @xcite .
if we assume the fwhms of @xmath5 laes are similar , the ly@xmath1 flux is @xmath91@xmath92 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 .
this is 25 times fainter than @xmath93 , deep enough to detect ly@xmath1 .
thus , ms1520-a is unlikely an lae .
another possible origin of ms1520-a is a @xmath21 lbg .
however , we could neither see any faint continuum by eye on the 2 dimensional spectrum nor in the 1 dimensional one after the 4 pixel binning in the spatial direction . to see if we had enough depth to detect the continuum , we compared the sky rms of the stacked spectrum with the uv continuum flux density estimated from nb980 magnitude . if we assume @xmath94 lyman break ( i.e. , all the nb980 flux are from the uv continuum at the red half of nb980 and zero flux otherwise ) , total nb980 magnitude of ms1520-a , 23.42 and 35% slit loss converts to a uv continuum flux density , @xmath95 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 @xmath44 .
the sky rms of the 1 dimensional spectrum , @xmath90 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 @xmath44 , is 1.4 times shallower than @xmath96 , not enough to detect the continuum .
our spectroscopy does not reveal if ms1520-a is a @xmath21 lbg .
another way is to see if our nb980 imaging was deep enough to detect @xmath97 lbgs .
@xcite recently detected 22 @xmath21 lbg candidates in the sdf and the goods - n fields to the uv luminosity @xmath98 .
if we assume that all the nb980 flux is from the uv continuum and that @xmath5 , our depths , @xmath99 ( sdf ) and 24.44 ( ms1520 ) , convert to @xmath100 and @xmath101 . to these limits , @xcite did not detect any lbgs .
hence , ms1520-a is unlikely a @xmath21 lbg .
the other possible origin of ms1520-a is a late - type star , a variable / transient object or a noise . in case of a late - type star
, the spectrum could show no signal if the continuum is fainter than our spectroscopy limit .
because we have only one image blueward of ly@xmath1 ( @xmath36-band ) , the null detection criterion only on this band might not be strict enough to remove a faint late - type star . in case of a variable / transient object
, it could have been fainter than our detection limit at the time of @xmath36-band imaging and the spectroscopy while it might have been bright at the time of nb980 imaging .
meanwhile , ms1520-a is unlikely a low-@xmath102 line emitter .
if it was , its line flux would be as bright as the @xmath103 estimated in section [ laepossibility ] and detectable by the spectroscopy .
the purpose of this study is to obtain a contamination free result for @xmath21 laes , including null detection .
we can safely conclude that we detect no @xmath21 lae in our survey volume and to our detection limit .
we used this information to assess @xmath0 photometric ly@xmath1 lfs in the literatures .
@lcccccc@ authors & volume@xmath104 & ly@xmath1 flux limit@xmath104 & # lae candidates@xmath105 & + & ( 10@xmath106 mpc@xmath59 ) & ( 10@xmath107 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 ) & authors detected & sdf & ms1520 & sdf+ms1520 + + this study & 1.0 & 1.21.4 & 0 & & & + @xcite & 32 & 1.5@xmath108 & 1 & @xmath109 & @xmath110 & @xmath111 + @xcite & 30 & 0.97@xmath108 & 3 & @xmath7 & @xmath112 & @xmath7 + @xcite & 7.2 & 1.8@xmath113 & 6 & @xmath114 & @xmath115 & @xmath9 + @xcite d33@xmath116 & 40 & 2.7@xmath108 & 7 & @xmath117 & @xmath110 & @xmath117 + @xcite d41@xmath116 & 43 & 1.9@xmath108 & 7 & @xmath118 & @xmath117 & @xmath8 + @xcite & & & & @xmath119 & @xmath111 & @xmath120 + + @xcite & 6.3 & 0.83 & 7 & @xmath109 & @xmath110 & @xmath111 + @xcite & 1.4 & 0.60 & 4 & @xmath121 & @xmath119 & @xmath122 + @xcite & 2.8 & 0.80 & 4 & @xmath117 & @xmath119 & @xmath121 + @xmath104the survey volume and limit of the papers in the column 1 .
@xmath108ly@xmath1 fluxes converted from their limiting nb973 magnitudes ( @xmath123 , @xmath23 aperture ) , assuming a rest frame ly@xmath1 ew of 20 and @xmath5 .
@xmath113the ly@xmath1 flux directly converted from the nb9680 magnitude of their faintest lae candidate .
@xmath105the number of lae candidates the authors detected in their survey volumes and to their survey limits .
@xmath124the expected detection number of laes in our nb980 survey estimated using the ly@xmath1 lfs from the papers in the column 1 . for @xcite , we integrated the inferred @xmath5 ly@xmath1 lf in figure 10 of their paper .
@xcite ly@xmath1 lf is based on @xmath125 directly converted from ly@xmath1 fluxes of their candidates .
@xcite estimated that @xmath126% of nb973 total flux of a @xmath83 lae ( iok-1 ) is from ly@xmath1 . hence , we interpolated @xcite ly@xmath1 lf attenuated by @xmath127 to our nb980 survey limits to obtain the expected number of laes . for @xcite ,
we integrated the @xcite lfs best - fitted to their observed data by them .
for @xcite , we integrated the @xmath128 ly@xmath1 lf predicted by their model . for @xcite and @xcite , we interpolated their ly@xmath1 lfs to our nb980 survey limits .
the errors include poisson errors for small number statistics @xcite and cosmic variance @xmath129 .
we combined these errors quadratically and if the lower limit was a negative value , we adjusted it to zero .
we calculated @xmath129 s using the bias @xmath130 obtained for laes by @xcite and the dark matter halo variances @xmath131 s at @xmath132 predicted by the analytic model of @xcite and our survey volumes .
the @xmath129 s are @xmath133% ( @xmath134% ) for the survey volumes equivalent to two ( one ) focas field of views .
@xmath116the schechter parameters @xmath135 and @xmath136 for lfs derived from the d33 and the d41 fields in table 4 in @xcite paper was found to be mistakenly listed .
they are switched with each other ( p. hibon 2012 , private communication ) .
we used their schechter lfs with correct parameters to estimate the expected lae numbers .
we compared our null detection with the expected detection number of laes estimated from a variety of @xmath5 and 7.7 photometric ly@xmath1 lfs to check their consistency with the current contamination free result . in table
[ explaenum ] , we calculated and listed expected detection number of laes in our nb980 survey volume by integrating or interpolating ly@xmath1 lfs from four recent @xmath5 lae surveys @xcite to our survey limits .
the errors include poisson error for small number statistics and cosmic variance ( see the footnote of table 2 for details ) . for comparison , we also calculated the expected number in the case of no neutral hydrogen attenuation of ly@xmath1 emission ( i.e. , ly@xmath1 transmission to neutral hydrogen @xmath128 ) by integrating such a @xmath5 ly@xmath1 lf predicted by a recent lae evolution model of @xcite to our survey limits .
the expected numbers estimated using lfs from @xcite and one of the @xcite survey fields ( d33 ) are consistent with the null detection .
conversely , the number estimated using @xcite lf indicates the detection of @xmath9 laes .
also , though consistent with null detection within the error , the number , @xmath8 , estimated from another lf ( d41 ) of @xcite is larger than those estimated from other @xmath5 lfs .
this implies that lae candidates detected by @xcite might include some degree of contaminations .
we compared @xcite and @xcite surveys and investigated what causes the discrepancy .
@xcite obtained the narrowband nb973 images of the sdf and the sxds @xcite fields with one pointing of the subaru suprime - cam each , reaching limiting magnitudes @xmath137 and 25.4 ( @xmath123 , @xmath23 aperture ) .
meanwhile , @xcite imaged two fields called d33 and d41 with the same nb973 filter and one suprime - cam pointing each and reached limiting magnitudes @xmath138 and 24.7 ( @xmath123 , @xmath23 aperture ) .
though @xcite images are shallower than @xcite , they detected 7 and 7 lae candidates in the d33 and the d41 , while @xcite detected 1 and 3 in the sdf and the sxds ( see table [ explaenum ] ) .
moreover , @xcite imaged the cosmos field with their narrowband nb9680 ( @xmath139 , fwhm@xmath140 ) to detect 6 lae candidates , though their limit and volume are shallower and smaller than those of @xcite .
meanwhile , @xcite @xmath5 lf with @xmath128 predicts the detection of @xmath120 laes even if the neutral fraction at @xmath5 is 0% . because @xcite lfs predict @xmath8@xmath9 detections whether or not neutral fractions is 0% , the difference in the expected lae number between @xcite and @xcite can not be explained by field - to - field variation of the degree of ly@xmath1 attenuation by neutral hydrogen
in addition , since @xcite and @xcite surveyed similar and very large volumes , cosmic variance and poisson error are not the cause of difference , either . moreover , because @xcite probed to much deeper limit than @xcite , if _ difference _ in dust extinction of all the @xmath5 laes in different sky fields is @xmath141 ( equivalent to difference in survey depth ) , dust extinction is also unlikely the reason . for example , @xcite constrained dust extinction of a spectroscopically confirmed @xmath142 lae to be @xmath143 .
though it is one example , dust extinction of individual @xmath21 laes seem to be modest .
thus _ difference _ in dust extinction among @xmath21 laes could be even smaller .
one remaining factor that causes the discrepancy between @xcite and @xcite is different lae selection criteria . @xcite did not consider the redshift evolution of narrowband excess of galaxies , while @xcite did .
the nb9680 and nb973 they used have fwhms of 90 and 200 , and located at the red edge of @xmath37-band .
this makes @xmath144 laes / lbgs also selected as candidates . in the case of nb973
, @xmath145 ly@xmath1 emission with ews of even @xmath146 can produce significant excess of @xmath147 , according to figure 3 of @xcite that plots redshift evolution of @xmath148 colors of model laes / lbgs generated with @xcite population synthesis models .
the same figure also shows that a @xmath5 lae / lbg is expected to have @xmath149 .
we also calculated @xmath150 color versus redshift similar to figure 3 in the present paper , using spectra @xmath151 with @xmath152 to 0 and @xmath153 to 300 and found that a @xmath5 lae / lbg is expected to have @xmath154 .
for example , a spectroscopically confirmed @xmath83 lae ( iok-1 , * ? ? ?
* ) has a color of @xmath155 .
@xcite adopted slightly less strict criterion @xmath1561.72 , considering the effects of photometric errors and possible diversity of @xmath5 laes on the color .
this criterion in principle selects @xmath157 laes / lbgs .
hence , @xcite imposed an additional criterion , a null detection in the narrowband nb921 ( @xmath27 , @xmath158 ) to avoid @xmath1596.6 laes / lbgs .
hence , their criteria select @xmath160 laes / lbgs .
meanwhile , @xcite used even more inclusive criterion @xmath161 , which selects @xmath162 laes / lbgs , and they did not have nb921 images to avoid @xmath1596.6 laes . their sample include 4 and 6 candidates with @xmath1631.5 in the d33 and the d41 fields
. some of them might be @xmath1596.6 laes , which @xcite did not select .
in fact , @xcite reported that if they did not impose null detection in nb921 , they selected a spectroscopically confirmed @xmath13 lae iok-3 with @xmath164 as a candidate . besides , @xcite adopted @xmath165 without examining redshift evolution of this color of laes .
for the same reason as the case of nb973 , @xcite sample might potentially include some lower redshift laes / lbgs . if @xcite candidates really include some such contaminations , their real @xmath5 ly@xmath1 lfs after corrected for the contaminations could show evolution from @xmath10 and predict more consistent number of laes in our nb980 survey . in table
[ explaenum ] , we also listed the expected number of laes in our survey estimated using 3 @xmath6 ly@xmath1 lfs @xcite under the assumption that lf does not evolve from @xmath5 to 7.7 .
all the expected numbers are consistent with null detection within errors . nonetheless , the average value 0.70.8 of the expected number ( @xmath121@xmath122 laes ) estimated from the lfs of @xcite and @xcite is close to a single detection that means evolution of lf from @xmath5 to 7.7 . actually , these authors and even @xcite claim that if their candidates are all real @xmath6 laes , their lfs imply a trend opposite to the decline of ly@xmath1 lf from @xmath12 to 6.6 and 7 found by @xcite , @xcite and @xcite . @xcite and
@xcite also performed monte carlo simulations to estimate the expected number of laes in their surveys and concluded that even if 1 or 2 candidates in their samples are real @xmath6 laes , it implies no evolution of ly@xmath1 lf from @xmath159 to 7.7 .
there are two possible scenarios that explain the situation .
one is that @xmath6 laes might be somehow brighter than @xmath159 laes in ly@xmath1 luminosity . in this case , @xmath6 lf is observed to be similar to or higher than @xmath159 lf even if attenuated by neutral hydrogen .
there are two factors potentially supporting this .
first , stellar population studies of @xmath10 massive ( @xmath166 ) lbgs suggest that they could have had substantially high star formation rates in the past at @xmath218 to assemble their high masses and could be very bright at @xmath0 @xcite . also , narrowband selected laes tend to be the lower mass and younger age extension of lbg population and might be at the earlier stage of the evolution of lbgs @xcite
. if @xmath6 laes are the progenitors of @xmath10 massive lbgs , they might be intrinsically very bright .
second , @xcite estimated ly@xmath1 escape fractions @xmath167 at @xmath1687.7 using observed data in literatures and found that @xmath167 increases with redshift when they fitted a power law to @xmath167 s at @xmath1686 .
if @xmath167 is higher in laes at @xmath6 than 6.5 , @xmath6 laes are observed to be brighter .
another scenario is that all the lae candidates of @xcite and @xcite and all / some of @xcite lae candidates are not @xmath6 laes .
this agrees with the decline of ly@xmath1 lf from @xmath12 to 6.67 found by @xcite , @xcite and @xcite .
this scenario is supported by another @xmath6 lae survey by @xcite who did not detect any candidates . as mentioned earlier , the drop in fraction of ly@xmath1 emitting lbgs at @xmath14 @xcite
could be also a support .
we conducted the subaru focas nb980 imaging and spectroscopy survey of @xmath57.1 laes in the sdf and ms1520 and detected no laes to a @xmath32 ly@xmath1 flux limit of @xmath169 erg s@xmath44 @xmath51 in a comoving volume of @xmath58 mpc@xmath59 .
we estimated the expected number of laes in our survey from 5 @xmath5 and 3 @xmath6 photometric ly@xmath1 lfs .
seven agree with null detection within errors but average lae numbers predicted by one @xmath5 and two @xmath6 lfs among the seven indicate nearly a single detection .
the remaining one @xmath5 lf predicts a detection of @xmath9 laes . for @xmath5 ,
the discrepancy likely comes from different lae selection criteria . for @xmath6
, there are 2 possibilities .
( 1 ) if @xmath6 laes are brighter than lower-@xmath102 laes , @xmath6 lf is similar to or higher than lower-@xmath102 lfs even if attenuated by neutral hydrogen . ( 2 ) if all the @xmath6 candidates are not real , ly@xmath1 lf declines from @xmath10 to 7.7 .
evaluation of @xmath0 ly@xmath1 lfs in this study relies on an indirect method .
the direct and best way is secure spectroscopy of all the candidates .
future powerful telescopes such as jwst or tmt will facilitate this and reveal the real nature of ly@xmath1 lfs at the epoch of reionization .
this work is based on data collected at the subaru telescope , which is operated by the national astronomical observatory of japan .
this work was supported by the grant - in - aid for the global coe program `` the next generation of physics , spun from universality and emergence '' from the ministry of education , culture , sports , science and technology ( mext ) of japan .
we thank our referee for useful comments that improved this paper .
we thank pascale hibon , nobunari kashikawa and takatoshi shibuya for the information about @xcite paper .
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this paper explores approximation properties of finite smooth mixtures of normal regressions as flexible models for conditional densities .
these models are a special case of mixtures of experts ( me ) introduced by @xcite .
me have become increasingly popular is statistical literature since they are very flexible , easy to interpret and reasonably easy to estimate .
see , for example , papers by @xcite and @xcite who employ the expectation maximization ( em ) estimation algorithm or papers by @xcite , @xcite , @xcite and@xcite who use markov chain monte carlo methods for estimation of me in the bayesian framework .
this paper contributes to the literature that provides a theoretical explanation of the success of me models in applications . in particular , i show that large classes of conditional densities can be approximated in the kullback leibler ( kl ) distance by finite smooth mixtures of normal regressions .
approximation results are obtained in the kl distance for the following reason .
if a data generating density is in the kl closure of a class of models then this density can be consistently estimated from data by these models under weak regularity conditions [ see , e.g. , @xcite for a textbook treatment of schwarz s theorem on posterior consistency and @xcite for posterior consistency results for finite mixture of normals ] .
consider a joint probability distribution @xmath0 on a product space @xmath1 , @xmath2 and @xmath3 .
assume the conditional distribution @xmath4 has a density @xmath5 with respect to the lebesgue measure .
the marginal density of @xmath6 with respect to some generic measure is denoted by @xmath7 .
a model @xmath8 for the conditional density @xmath5 is described by @xmath9 .
the kl distance between @xmath10 and @xmath11 is defined by @xmath12 this distance can also be interpreted as the expected kl distance between the conditional distributions .
either way , this is the distance useful for obtaining estimation consistency results .
also , convergence in the kl distance implies convergence in the total variation distance .
below , i consider several different specifications of mixture of normal regressions models , @xmath9 , and provide conditions on @xmath0 under which @xmath13 can be made arbitrarily small .
i also derive rates of convergence and easy to interpret bounds for @xmath13 .
in general , a finite mixture of normal regressions model can be written as @xmath14 where mixing probabilities satisfy @xmath15 $ ] and @xmath16 , and @xmath17 , @xmath18 is a normal density with mean @xmath19 and standard deviation @xmath20 evaluated at @xmath21 ( if @xmath21 is multidimensional then the variance covariance matrix is diagonal @xmath22 ) .
most of the results obtained in the paper can be easily extended to models in which general location scale densities @xmath23 are mixed instead of the normal densities @xmath24 .
models , in which the mixing weights depend on @xmath6 , are referred in this paper as smooth mixtures . in practice , @xmath25 s
are often modeled by a multinomial choice model , for example , multinomial logit [ @xcite ] or probit [ @xcite ] , or it might not depend on @xmath6 .
the mean @xmath26 can be constant , linear or flexible , for example , polynomial , in @xmath6 .
an exponentiated polynomial or spline in @xmath6 can be used for modeling the standard deviation @xmath27 [ @xcite ] . to the best of my knowledge ,
previous literature on smooth mixtures of regressions ( or experts ) does not provide a theory on what specifications for @xmath28 , @xmath29 and @xmath30 deliver a model that can approximate and consistently estimate large nonparametric classes of densities @xmath0 .
there are theoretical results on approximation of smooth functions and estimation of conditional expectations by me [ see @xcite and @xcite ] .
the only paper on approximation of conditional densities by me seems to be @xcite who develop approximation and estimation results for target densities from a single parameter exponential family , in which the parameter is a smooth function of covariates .
a detailed comparison with results in @xcite is presented in section [ sec : comparison ] . in this paper ,
i do not restrict the functional form of @xmath31 and use weak regularity conditions to describe a class of @xmath0 that can be approximated .
conditions on approximable classes of @xmath31 and @xmath7 that are common for different model specifications include bounded support for @xmath7 , continuity of @xmath31 in @xmath32 , finite expectation of a change of @xmath33 in a neighborhood of @xmath21 and existence of the second moments of @xmath21 . the latter restriction can be weakened by adding densities with fat tails to the mixtures in addition to normal densities . in section [ sec : lin_logit ] ,
i show that considerable flexibility is already attained when @xmath28 s are modeled by multinomial logit with linear indices in @xmath6 , and @xmath34 are independent of @xmath6 .
results in sections [ sec : poly_logit ] and [ sec : lin_logit ] suggest that using polynomials in the logit specification reduces the number of mixture components @xmath35 required to achieve a specified approximation precision . as shown in section [ sec : flex_mean ] , models for univariate response @xmath21 in which the mixing probabilities and the variances of the mixed normals are independent of @xmath6 , and the means are flexible , for example , polynomial in @xmath6 , can approximate large classes of @xmath31 .
differences in quantiles of @xmath31 from these classes have to be bounded above and below uniformly in @xmath6 .
these restrictions on @xmath31 can be weakened if the variances of the mixed normals are modeled by flexible functions of @xmath6 .
section [ sec : conclusion ] summarizes the findings .
in this section , i explicitly construct a smooth mixture of normals model that converges to a given @xmath0 in the kl distance as @xmath35 increases .
this model is not feasible in the sense that it is not based on components employed in practice , for example , logit / probit mixing probabilities .
however , the results for feasible models presented in the following sections follow from this one or are similar .
let @xmath36 , @xmath37 , be a partition of @xmath38 consisting of adjacent half - open half - closed hypercubes @xmath39 with side length @xmath40 and the rest of the space @xmath41 . as @xmath35 increases
the fine part of the partition becomes finer , @xmath42 . also , it covers larger and larger part of @xmath38 : for any @xmath43 there exists @xmath44 such that @xmath45 where @xmath46 is a hypercube with center @xmath21 and side length @xmath47 .
it is always possible to construct such a partition .
for example , if @xmath48 let @xmath49 , @xmath50 for @xmath51 , and @xmath52 .
a candidate model @xmath53 for approximating @xmath31 is @xmath54 where @xmath55 is fixed , @xmath56 converges to zero as @xmath35 increases and @xmath29 is the center of @xmath36 .
one can always construct a model @xmath53 and a partition @xmath36 so that @xmath57 for example , in the example for @xmath48 from the previous paragraph let @xmath58 and @xmath59 . for a partition satisfying ( [ eq : con_partition_gen_case ] ) and ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h ] ) ,
let us introduce the following restrictions on @xmath0 .
[ assn : general_case ] 1 .
@xmath31 is continuous in @xmath21 a.s . @xmath0 . 1
. the second moments of @xmath21 are finite .
2 . for any @xmath32 there exists a hypercube @xmath60 with side length @xmath61 and @xmath62 such that ( i ) @xmath63 and ( ii ) exists @xmath64 such that for any @xmath65 , if @xmath66 then @xmath67 contains a hypercube @xmath68 with side length @xmath69 and a vertex at @xmath21 and if @xmath70 , then @xmath71 contains a hypercube @xmath72 with side length @xmath69 and a vertex at @xmath21 .
parameter @xmath55 can always be chosen so that @xmath73 where @xmath74 is the lebesgue measure .
[ prp : gen_case ] if the model @xmath75 and the partition @xmath36 are constructed so that ( [ eq : con_partition_gen_case ] ) , ( [ eq : candidate_general_case ] ) , ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h ] ) and ( [ eq : cond_sigma0 ] ) hold , and @xmath0 satisfies assumption [ assn : general_case ] , then @xmath76 as @xmath77 . the proposition is rigorously proved in the .
here , i briefly describe the intuition behind the argument and the role of the assumptions .
convergence in the kl distance is proved by the dominated convergence theorem ( dct ) .
first , i establish point - wise convergence of the integrand , @xmath78 , to zero , and then i derive an integrable upper bound on the integrand for the dct applicability .
nonnegativity of the kl distance is fruitfully exploited in the proof as it allows working only with upper bounds and ignoring the lower ones in convergence arguments .
the first term on the right - hand side of ( [ eq : candidate_general_case ] ) ( the sum from 1 to @xmath35 ) approximates the integral @xmath79 when @xmath40 is much smaller than @xmath56 , and the fine part of the partition is large .
the integral on the right - hand side of ( [ eq : convol ] ) is obtained by the change of variables . for a small @xmath80 and @xmath81 satisfying @xmath82
, @xmath83 is close to @xmath31 as @xmath31 is assumed to be continuous in @xmath21 .
therefore , when @xmath56 is much smaller than @xmath80 the right - hand side of ( [ eq : convol ] ) should be close to @xmath31 .
thus , this intuitive argument explains the role of conditions ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h ] ) and continuity of @xmath31 .
the second term on the right - hand side of ( [ eq : candidate_general_case ] ) converges to zero .
this term is not needed for point - wise convergence .
it can be omitted when the support of @xmath31 is bounded uniformly in @xmath6 as in this case we can set @xmath84 and use the same variance @xmath85 in all mixture components ( there is no need to define @xmath55 ) .
this term together with part of assumption [ assn : general_case ] prevents tails of @xmath86 from becoming too thin relative to @xmath31 in the unbounded support case ( in the absence of this term the tails would be too thin as @xmath87 ) .
parts and of assumption [ assn : general_case ] together guarantee existence of an integrable upper bound for the dct applicability .
an upper bound on @xmath88 , @xmath89 involves a lower bound on @xmath90 . both terms on the right - hand side in the definition of @xmath90 in ( [ eq : candidate_general_case ] ) can be bounded below by an expression proportional to @xmath91 .
that is how condition ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) is deduced .
the lower bound for the second term in ( [ eq : candidate_general_case ] ) also includes @xmath92 and that is why finiteness of the second moments of @xmath21 is assumed .
one interpretation of condition ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) [ part ( i ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] ] is that local relative changes in @xmath31 due to changes in @xmath21 should not be infinitely large on average .
it seems difficult to think of an unconditional density , which is well behaved and positive everywhere , that would violate ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) .
this part of the assumption though can be violated by reasonable conditional densities as example [ ex : exponential ] below illustrates . .
] when @xmath31 is positive everywhere , part ( ii ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] is not needed .
it always holds if @xmath60 is a hypercube with center at @xmath21 . part ( ii )
becomes important when @xmath31 can be equal to zero .
in particular , the sets @xmath68 and @xmath72 in part ( ii ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] are introduced to specify that @xmath60 needs to be defined differently near the boundary of the support and in the tails if one wants to use condition ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) in its present form .
this is illustrated in figure [ fig : cryx ] .
the support of @xmath93 should include @xmath60 a.s .
@xmath0 ; otherwise , part ( i ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] is not satisfied
. therefore , for @xmath31 in figure [ fig : cryx ] , it has to be the case that @xmath94 $ ] at the boundary of the support ( the intersection of the axes ) .
setting @xmath94 $ ] near the boundary of the support makes the ratio @xmath95 smallest possible ( equal to one ) and thus helps with condition ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) .
parts of @xmath38 near the boundary of the support are covered by the fine part of the partition @xmath39 for all sufficiently large @xmath35 , and part ( ii ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] holds for @xmath96 $ ] . using @xmath94 $ ] for all @xmath21 would not work . since for any @xmath35 one can find @xmath97 such that @xmath98 is arbitrary small , and part ( ii ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] fails .
thus , for @xmath21 that are arbitrary far from the boundary of the support , one has to use @xmath99 $ ] eventually . then , part ( ii ) of the assumption clearly holds for @xmath100 $ ] , @xmath101 $ ] and any @xmath35 .
results in this section and similar results in the following sections can be generalized in several different ways .
first , the derivation of the integrable upper bound in the proof of proposition [ prp : gen_case ] suggests that the requirement of finite second moments of @xmath21 can be weakened by adding a density with thicker than normal tails to the mixture of normals ; for example , substitute @xmath92 in ( [ eq : candidate_general_case ] ) with a student @xmath102-density .
second , more general shapes of the support of @xmath0 can be accommodated if instead of hypercubes @xmath60 , @xmath68 , and @xmath72 in assumption [ assn : general_case ] different sets with positive lebesgue measure are used .
for example , if the support of @xmath93 is a triangle in @xmath103 then small triangles can be used instead of the squares @xmath60 , @xmath68 and @xmath72 .
third , general location scale densities @xmath104 can be used in mixtures instead of normal densities . as long as analogs of lemmas [ lm : boundrsbyint_esp ] , [ lm : boundintby1 ] and [ lm : boundrs_epp_new ] ( see the )
are available for a particular type of densities , results in this and the following sections will hold for mixtures of these densities .
lemmas [ lm : boundrsbyint_esp ] and [ lm : boundrs_epp_new ] hold for @xmath104 if @xmath105 is bounded and nonincreasing in @xmath106 ( proofs of the lemmas use only these facts about the normal distributions ) . the derivation of bounds in lemma [ lm : boundintby1 ] exploits normality ; however , the qualitative results of the lemma hold as long as @xmath107 and @xmath105 is positive in a neighborhood of zero . thus , all the results in this paper that establish @xmath108 do not depend on the normality assumption ; however , bounds and convergence rates for @xmath13 derived below are specific to mixtures of normal densities , and they might be different for mixtures of other densities .
all these generalizations seem to be straight forward and i do not pursue them in this paper to keep the arguments short and simple .
examples below demonstrate that assumption [ assn : general_case ] is satisfied for a large class of densities .
they also describe some situations in which the assumption fails .
[ ex : exponential ] exponential distribution , @xmath109 , .
the density is continuous in @xmath21 ( part of assumption [ assn : general_case ] ) .
let @xmath110 so that the second moment of @xmath21 is finite ( part of assumption [ assn : general_case ] ) .
define the partition @xmath36 and @xmath60 , @xmath68 and @xmath72 as shown in figure [ fig : cryx ] , for example , for some @xmath61 let @xmath94 $ ] for @xmath111 $ ] and @xmath99 $ ] for @xmath112 .
thus , from the discussion of figure [ fig : cryx ] above it follows that part ( ii ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] is satisfied . because @xmath113 , part ( i ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] holds as long as @xmath114 is integrable with respect to @xmath7
. if @xmath114 is not integrable , then part ( i ) of the assumption fails .
[ ex : inf_student ] a student @xmath102-distribution , in which scale and location parameters are functions of @xmath6 , @xmath115^{-(\nu+ 1)/2}$ ] , @xmath116 and @xmath117 , @xmath118 and @xmath119 are integrable w.r.t .
the second moment of @xmath21 is finite since @xmath120 ^ 2 + 2 b(x)y - b(x)^2 \biggr ) \,df \\ & = & \int\biggl ( c(x)^2 \frac{\nu}{\nu- 2 } + 2 b(x)^2 - b(x)^2 \biggr ) \,df
< \infty.\end{aligned}\ ] ] as i discuss above , for densities positive everywhere part ( ii ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] always holds with @xmath121 $ ] . part ( i ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] is also satisfied because @xmath122 f(y|x)\ , dy f(dx ) < \infty,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the last inequality follows by the integrability of @xmath123 , its square and @xmath118 .
[ ex : inf_cont_bddsupport ] suppose that conditional density @xmath31 is continuous in @xmath21 and bounded above and away from zero , @xmath124 for any @xmath125 $ ] and @xmath126 .
then we can set @xmath84 .
for @xmath127 , let @xmath128 $ ] and @xmath129 $ ] for @xmath130 $ ] and @xmath131 $ ] and @xmath132 $ ] for @xmath133 $ ] .
clearly , part ( ii ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] is satisfied . because @xmath134 part ( i ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] also holds .
the second moment of @xmath21 is finite and thus all parts of assumption [ assn : general_case ] hold .
the boundedness away from zero condition can be replaced by a monotonicity condition at the boundary of the support .
for example , let @xmath31 be nondecreasing on @xmath135 $ ] , nonincreasing on @xmath136 $ ] and bounded below by @xmath137 on @xmath138 $ ] . in this case @xmath139 for any @xmath140
thus , part 3(i ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] holds .
the other parts of the assumption are not affected by this change .
[ ex : infeasible_unifrm ] consider a uniform distribution @xmath141}(y)$ ] and @xmath142 for any @xmath143 .
a natural choice of the partition would be @xmath144 and @xmath145 for @xmath146 . when @xmath147 , the only reasonable choice of @xmath60 is @xmath148 $ ] .
for an arbitrary @xmath35 and @xmath149 , @xmath60 violates part ( ii ) of assumption [ assn : general_case ] since the only possible @xmath150 $ ] is not included in @xmath41 . for @xmath7 with bounded support , this example would satisfy assumption [ assn : general_case ] since in this case we could set @xmath84 .
this example illustrates that assumption [ assn : general_case ] rules out some cases in which the support of @xmath93 is increasing in @xmath6 without a bound . in section [ sec : flex_mean ] , i consider model specifications in which means and variances of the mixed normals can be flexible functions of @xmath6 . those specifications seem to be more promising for modeling densities @xmath93 with support increasing in @xmath6 without a bound ( see example [ ex : uniform_flex_mean ] ) .
the proof techniques of this section can also be used to derive explicit bounds on the approximation error .
the bounds for positive everywhere and especially differentiable @xmath31 are particularly informative .
it is also easy to deduce an approximation rate from them .
thus , i present below the bounds and approximation rate for these special albeit important cases .
convergence rates and bounds for other special classes can be obtained in a similar way , for example , for densities bounded away from zero .
however , rates and bounds for the general case seem to be difficult to calculate .
[ crl : gen_case_bounds ] part .
suppose the model @xmath86 and the partition @xmath36 are constructed so that ( [ eq : con_partition_gen_case ] ) , ( [ eq : candidate_general_case ] ) , ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h ] ) and ( [ eq : cond_sigma0 ] ) hold .
suppose @xmath31 is positive and continuous in @xmath21 on @xmath151 for all @xmath6 , second moments of @xmath21 are finite and ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) holds with @xmath152 taken to be a hypercube with center at @xmath21 and radius @xmath153 .
then , for all sufficiently large @xmath35 , @xmath154 f(dy , dx),\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath155and bounds in ( [ eq : bound1_intfinff])([eq : bound4_inty2_cftail ] ) converge to zero as @xmath156 . part . if @xmath31 is continuously differentiable in @xmath21 for all @xmath6 and instead of ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) the following condition holds : @xmath157 then for all sufficiently large @xmath35 , @xmath158 f(dy , dx),\end{aligned}\ ] ] and bounds in ( [ eq : bound1_intdsuplnfdz])([eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) converge to zero as @xmath156 . part .
if , in addition to assumptions from part , for some @xmath159 and some @xmath160 @xmath161 and @xmath162 then the approximation error bound can be written as @xmath163)},\ ] ] where @xmath164 can be arbitrarily close to zero and @xmath165 does not depend on @xmath35 .
the corollary is proved in the .
the bounds in part ( i ) of the corollary follow from the proof of proposition [ prp : gen_case ] .
the bounds in part ( ii ) are derived from the bounds in part ( i ) , and they are especially easy to interpret .
the larger the `` average '' derivative of @xmath33 is the smaller @xmath80 has to be to achieve a prespecified level for the right - hand side of ( [ eq : bound1_intdsuplnfdz ] ) .
constant @xmath40 has to be much smaller than @xmath56 , and @xmath56 has to be much smaller than @xmath80 [ condition ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h ] ) ] so that ( [ eq : bound2_lof1_epsm2 ] ) becomes sufficiently small .
size of ( [ eq : bound3_intdsuplnfdztail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) depends on how fast and by how much tails of @xmath10 dominate @xmath166 , @xmath167 , and a constant . the approximation rate in part ( iii ) is derived from the bounds in part ( ii ) .
expressions in ( [ eq : bound1_intdsuplnfdz ] ) and ( [ eq : bound2_lof1_epsm2 ] ) can be immediately converted in expressions in terms of @xmath35 . to convert ( [ eq : bound3_intdsuplnfdztail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) in expressions in terms of @xmath35 one seems to need slightly more than integrability of @xmath168 [ condition ( [ eq : bdd_y_dlogfdz ] ) ] and slightly more than finiteness of the second moments of @xmath21 [ condition ( [ eq : bdd_q_moment ] ) ] . under these conditions , ( [ eq : bound3_intdsuplnfdztail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) are bounded by @xmath169 times a constant ( see the corollary proof ) .
an upper bound on @xmath170 , ( [ eq : bound1_intdsuplnfdz ] ) and ( [ eq : bound2_lof1_epsm2 ] ) gives the rate in ( [ eq : bd_rate ] ) .
this upper bound has to be strictly larger than ( [ eq : bd_rate ] ) with @xmath171 as i show in the corollary proof . for distributions with exponentially declining tails , ( [ eq : bound3_intdsuplnfdztail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] )
can be decreasing exponentially in @xmath172 . in this case , one can set @xmath173 in ( [ eq : bd_rate ] ) ( see example [ ex:2side_exp_flex_mean_rates ] below ) .
the dimension of @xmath21 enters the approximation bounds exponentially .
the dimension of @xmath6 does not affect the bound and the approximation rate for the `` infeasible '' model because this model is constructed with the use of @xmath174 s , which are unknown functions of @xmath6 .
the following sections shed some light on the role of the dimension of @xmath6 in approximating @xmath31 by feasible models .
this section gives conditions under which approximation results for `` infeasible '' model @xmath53 also hold for a model with logit mixing probabilities that include polynomial terms in @xmath6 .
it also shows how to extend these results to multinomial probit and other models for mixing probabilities . [
assn : xcompactlogfcont ] @xmath175 is compact and for partitions @xmath36 , @xmath37 satisfying ( [ eq : con_partition_gen_case ] ) , @xmath174 is a continuous function of @xmath6 on @xmath175 and @xmath176 [ the support of @xmath93 does not depend on @xmath6 ] . under this assumption ( by the stone
weierstrass theorem ) for any sequence of @xmath178 , @xmath179 there exist finite order polynomials in @xmath6 , @xmath180 such that @xmath181 let @xmath182 denote a model with @xmath30 and @xmath183 independent of @xmath6 and logit mixing probabilities , @xmath184 condition ( [ eq : logfcont ] ) implies @xmath185
. the following corollary immediately follows .
[ crl : logit_polynomials ] if assumption [ assn : xcompactlogfcont ] and the conditions of proposition [ prp : gen_case ] hold then @xmath186 is bounded above and below by @xmath187 and thus converges to zero .
it seems possible to extend this corollary to other models for mixing probabilities , in particular , to a class of multinomial choice models in which mixing probabilities have the following representation : @xmath188,\ ] ] where @xmath189 are flexible functions of @xmath6 and @xmath190 s are i.i.d .
multinomial logit and probit models fall into this category with polynomial @xmath189 and extreme value and normal distributions for @xmath190 s .
the proof of proposition 1 in @xcite implies that if @xmath190 are i.i.d . and have a density with respect to the lebesgue measure , which is positive on @xmath191 , then @xmath192 where @xmath193 is normalized to 0 and @xmath194 and @xmath195 are differentiable mappings defined correspondingly on @xmath196 , and the interior of the @xmath35-dimensional simplex .
flexible functional forms for @xmath197 can be used to approximate @xmath198 .
then @xmath199 @xmath200 will approximate @xmath201 . to get an analog of corollary [ crl : logit_polynomials ]
one only needs to show that @xmath195 transfers small additive approximation errors in @xmath189 into multiplicative approximation errors for @xmath25 , that are close to one .
since the mapping @xmath195 is continuous this is the case as long as @xmath174 are positive .
thus , it seems one does not need more than assumption [ assn : xcompactlogfcont ] to extend corollary [ crl : logit_polynomials ] to other models for mixing probabilities . of course ,
corollary [ crl : logit_polynomials ] can be formulated for any other method for approximating continuous functions in the sup norm on compacts , for example , for splines instead of the polynomials in the logit mixing probabilities .
the corollary implies that for @xmath0 satisfying conditions of corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] , bounds on the approximation error for model @xmath202 are given by the bounds in the corollary for @xmath203 plus @xmath204 .
results from the function approximation theory [ see , e.g. , section 3.3 in @xcite for a survey ] suggest that to achieve a worst case approximation bound @xmath204 , computable approximations to lipschitz continuous functions must involve the number of parameters proportional to @xmath205 ( @xmath206 if the function has bounded derivatives up to order @xmath207 ) . thus , the number of parameters in the polynomials ( or splines ) @xmath208 depends at best exponentially on the dimension of @xmath6 .
it might be very difficult to estimate a model with high order polynomials in the logit mixing probabilities .
the following section shows that it is not necessary to use high order polynomials in logit specification to attain flexibility .
however , as i discuss at the end of the following section , polynomial terms might reduce the number of mixture components required to achieve a specified approximation precision .
in this section i explore an alternative approximation to @xmath174 based on logit mixing probabilities that use only linear indices in @xmath6 .
the following assumption is a slightly stricter analog of assumption [ assn : general_case ] .
[ assn : logitlin_case ] 1 .
@xmath209^{d_x}$ ] ( the arguments would go through for a bounded @xmath175 ) . 1 .
@xmath31 is continuous in @xmath32 a.s .
the second moments of @xmath21 are finite .
3 . for any @xmath32 there exists a hypercube @xmath60 with side length @xmath61 and @xmath62 such that ( i ) @xmath210 and ( ii ) exists @xmath211 such that for any @xmath212 , if @xmath66 then @xmath67 contains a hypercube @xmath68 with side length @xmath69 and a vertex at @xmath21 and if @xmath70 , then @xmath71 contains a hypercube @xmath72 with side @xmath69 and a vertex at @xmath21 .
let @xmath213 , @xmath214 be equal size half - open half - closed hypercubes forming a partition of @xmath209^{d_x}$ ] . the partition becomes finer as @xmath35 increases , @xmath215 .
let @xmath216 denote the center of @xmath213 .
before looking at logit let us consider an `` infeasible '' model @xmath217 , @xmath218,\ ] ] where the mixing probabilities @xmath219 .
as the partition of @xmath175 becomes finer , model @xmath217 approximates @xmath53 because @xmath220 under continuity of @xmath31 in @xmath6 ( part of assumption [ assn : logitlin_case ] ) .
since , @xmath217 is not interesting on its own i do not make this argument precise here .
instead i employ this idea to get approximation results for model @xmath221 constructed similarly to @xmath222 but with logit mixing probabilities , @xmath223\\[-8pt ] & = & f(a_j^m|x_i^m ) \frac { \exp\ { - r_m ( x_i^{m \prime } x_i^m - 2 x_i^{m \prime } x ) \ } } { \sum_{l } \exp\ { - r_m ( x_l^{m \prime } x_l^m - 2 x_l^{m \prime } x ) \ } } .\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] in this expression , @xmath224 is a positive diverging to infinity sequence that satisfies the following condition : @xmath225 is the squared diagonal of @xmath213 .
this condition specifies that @xmath224 should increase fast relative to how fine the partition of @xmath175 becomes .
it is always possible to define sequence @xmath224 satisfying ( [ eq : condsmrm ] ) , for example , @xmath226 .
[ prp : gen_linear_logit ] if condition ( [ eq : condsmrm ] ) , assumption [ assn : logitlin_case ] , and conditions of proposition [ prp : gen_case ] hold then @xmath227 as @xmath77 . the proposition is proved in the .
the proof shows that the expression in ( [ eq : appr1bxi ] ) multiplying @xmath228 behaves like @xmath229 when @xmath224 becomes large and then uses the same arguments as in the proof of proposition [ prp : gen_case ] .
attempts to develop similar results for mixing probabilities modeled by multinomial probit [ see , e.g. , @xcite for applications ] were not successful
. it would not be hard to make multinomial probit mixing probabilities behave like indicator functions .
however , making them behave like an indicator times @xmath228 as in ( [ eq : appr1bxi ] ) seems to be more difficult .
the bounds on the approximation error for @xmath221 and @xmath31 positive everywhere are similar to bounds for @xmath53 obtained in corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] .
this is formalized in the following corollary .
[ crl : linlogit_case_bounds ] part .
suppose conditions of proposition [ prp : gen_linear_logit ] hold , @xmath31 is positive for any @xmath230 and any @xmath126 , @xmath31 is continuously differentiable in @xmath32 , and instead of ( [ eq : intboundfinffyx ] ) the following condition holds : @xmath231 then , for all sufficiently large @xmath35 , @xmath232\\[-8pt ] & & { } \times\int\sup_{z \in c_{\delta_m}(y ) , \vert x - t\vert\leq s_m^{1/2 } } \biggl\vert\frac{d \log f(z|t ) } { d(z , t)}\biggr\vert f(dy , dx ) \nonumber\\ \label{eq : bound2_lof1_epsm2_2 } & & { } + 2 \frac{3 d^{3/2 } \delta_m^{d-1 } h_m } { ( 2 \pi)^{d/2 } \sigma_m^d } + 2 \exp\biggl\{-\frac{(\delta_m/\sigma_m)^2}{8 } \biggr\ } \\ \label{eq : bound3_intdsuplnfdzxtail } & & { } + \frac{r d^{1/2}}{2 } \int_{b_{\delta_m}(a_0^m ) } \sup_{z \in c_{r}(y ) , \vert x - t\vert\leq r } \biggl\vert\frac{d \log f(z|t ) } { d(z , t)}\biggr\vert f(dy , dx ) \\
\label{eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2_2 } & & { } + \int_{b_{\delta_m}(a_0^m ) } \biggl [ \frac{y^{\prime}y}{2 \sigma_0 ^ 2 } - \log\frac{(r/2)^d}{(2 \pi\sigma_0 ^ 2)^{d/2 } } \biggr ] f(dy , dx ) \\
\label{eq : bound5_exprmsm } & & { } + \log[1-d_x^{d_x/2}\exp\{-r_m s_m\}/s_m^{d_x/2 } ] , \end{aligned}\ ] ] and bounds in ( [ eq : bound1_intdsuplnfdyx])([eq : bound5_exprmsm ] ) converge to zero as @xmath156 . part .
if , in addition to assumptions from part , for some @xmath159 and some @xmath160 , @xmath233 and @xmath234 then the approximation error bound can be written as @xmath235^{-1/ ( d_x+d \cdot[2 + 1 / ( q-2)+\varepsilon])},\ ] ] where @xmath236 is the number of mixture components in @xmath221 and @xmath164 can be arbitrarily close to zero . from the definition of models @xmath217 and @xmath221 and from the comparison of the convergence rates in ( [ eq : bd_rate ] ) and ( [ eq : bd_rate_linlogit ] ) , it is clear that using only linear indices in @xmath6 in the mixing probabilities does not come without a cost . the number of mixing components in model @xmath221 that approximates an infeasible model @xmath53 is equal to @xmath236 while for model with polynomial terms in logit , @xmath202 , this number is @xmath237 ( corollary [ crl : logit_polynomials ] ) .
the proof of corollary [ crl : linlogit_case_bounds ] implies that the number of hypercubes in the partition of @xmath175 , @xmath238 , increases exponentially with the dimensionality of @xmath175 .
thus , the number of parameters in model @xmath221 grows exponentially in the dimension of @xmath6 ( the exponential growth of the number of parameters in @xmath202 is discussed at the end of the previous section ) .
overall , approximation results for @xmath202 and @xmath221 do not seem to suggest which model might perform better in practice ; however , they seem to identify a tradeoff between the number of components in the mixture and the flexibility of models for the mixing probabilities .
in this section , i show that a finite mixture of normal regressions models , in which mixing probabilities do not depend on @xmath6 , can be quite flexible .
however , the results also suggest that specifications in which mixing probabilities are flexible functions of @xmath6 might perform better .
there is a large literature on finite mixture of regressions models . in early work ,
mixtures of two normal regressions were considered [ see , e.g. , @xcite and @xcite ] .
@xcite applied the em algorithm for estimation of finite mixtures of normal regressions .
fitting of more general finite mixtures of generalized linear models has been considered in @xcite and @xcite among others .
many more references can be found in a comprehensive book on finite mixture models by @xcite . to the best of my knowledge
, the literature on finite mixtures of regressions does not contain any approximation results for conditional densities .
the closest analogs of the results i obtain can be found in the literature on finite mixtures of unconditional densities [ see , e.g. , @xcite and references therein and @xcite ] . even for
mixtures of unconditional densities approximation results for the kl distance , which is useful for establishing consistency of bayesian or classical maximum likelihood estimators , seem to be scarce .
approximation results in the kl distance for convex combinations of densities in @xcite and @xcite seem to apply to mixtures of truncated normals and to target densities that are compactly supported .
some of these results are very strong .
for example , for target densities that are general mixtures of the densities mixed in the model , approximation error bounds obtained by @xcite are proportional to @xmath239 .
if there are no covariates @xmath6 , then the infeasible model from section [ sec : infeasible_model ] is simply a finite mixture of multivariate normals . for an elaboration on this idea in the context of joint and conditional density estimation and for consistency results for a bayesian estimator based on this model see @xcite .
the convergence rates obtained for this model in section [ sec : m0bounds ] are slower than @xmath239 .
however , the convergence rates are not directly comparable as the target densities in @xcite are different from those considered here .
model @xmath240 constructed in this section is very similar to model @xmath53 except for one important difference . in @xmath240 ,
fine equal probability partitions of @xmath38 are used instead of fine equal length partitions in @xmath53 .
as will be clear below , @xmath240 defined in this way allows mixing probabilities to be independent of @xmath6 .
however , it requires the means of the mixed normals to be flexible functions of @xmath6 . in this section ,
i assume that the response variable is univariate : @xmath241 or @xmath242 ( all the results from previous sections were obtained for arbitrary @xmath243 ) .
if fine equal probability partitions can be well defined for distributions of multivariate random variables and if these partitions depend smoothly on covariates , then it might be possible to extend the results of this section to multivariate responses .
i do not pursue this conjecture here .
define model @xmath240 as follows : @xmath244 for a given @xmath6 let @xmath245 , @xmath37 , be a partition of @xmath38 such that @xmath246 is a nondecreasing interval and @xmath247\\[-8pt ] f(a_0^m(x)|x ) & = & 1 - m p_m
\quad\mbox{and}\quad m p_m \rightarrow1,\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] for some @xmath248 $ ] that does not depend on @xmath6 .
define an upper bound on the length of an element of the fine part of the partition @xmath249 .
the candidate mixing probabilities are given by @xmath250 and @xmath251 .
the standard deviations @xmath252 for @xmath253 and @xmath254 are treated as functions of @xmath6 which is not essential but it weakens the restrictions on @xmath0 ( corollaries [ crl : flex_mean_bddsupport ] and [ crl : poly_mean_bddsupport ] and examples [ ex : exponential_flex_mean ] and [ ex : uniform_flex_mean ] below illustrate this point ) .
note that @xmath240 is an infeasible model ; in corollary [ crl : poly_mean_bddsupport ] below , i consider a feasible model @xmath255 in which @xmath26 are approximated by polynomials ( see also examples [ ex : exponential_flex_mean ] and [ ex : uniform_flex_mean ] ) .
suppose sequences @xmath256 , @xmath257 , and @xmath258 satisfy @xmath259 next , let us introduce the following restrictions on @xmath0 .
[ assn : flexiblemu_case ] 1 .
partitions @xmath245 used in construction of @xmath260 satisfy ( [ eq : eppconditions ] ) , and ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h_x ] ) holds . 1 .
@xmath31 is continuous in @xmath21 a.s .
2 . for any @xmath32 there
exists interval @xmath261 with length @xmath262 and @xmath263 such that ( i ) @xmath264 and ( ii ) exists @xmath211 such that for any @xmath212 , if @xmath265 , then @xmath266 contains an interval @xmath267 with an end at @xmath21 and length @xmath268 , and if @xmath269 , then @xmath270 contains an interval @xmath271 with an end at @xmath21 and length @xmath268 .
3 . @xmath258 , @xmath257 , and @xmath272 satisfy @xmath273 4 .
@xmath274 and @xmath272 satisfy @xmath275 which holds , for example , when @xmath276 .
@xmath277 f(dy ,
dx)}| < \infty$ ] . [ prp : flexiblemu_case ] if assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] holds then @xmath278 as .
the proposition is proved in the .
the assumptions of the proposition and their role in the proof are similar to those discussed in detail in section [ sec : infeasible_model ] for @xmath53 .
the assumptions are satisfied by a large class of densities as illustrated by the following corollaries and examples .
approximation error bounds for @xmath240 are presented below in corollary [ crl : flex_mean_rate ] .
[ crl : flex_mean_bddsupport ] assume : 1 .
@xmath31 is continuous in @xmath21 in the interior of the support of @xmath31 for all @xmath126 .
2 . there exists @xmath279 , such that @xmath280 for all @xmath32 .
the support of @xmath93 is given by a finite interval @xmath281 $ ] , where @xmath282 and @xmath283 are square integrable . also , for some @xmath284 , a positive integer @xmath285 , and @xmath286,@xmath287 on @xmath288 $ ] , + . ]
+ @xmath289^n$ ] on @xmath290 , and @xmath291^n$ ] on @xmath292 .
figure [ fig : fmubs ] provides an illustration for @xmath293 .
there exists @xmath61 such that @xmath93 is nondecreasing on @xmath294 and nonincreasing on @xmath295 for all @xmath126 .
then for @xmath240 constructed so that @xmath296 , @xmath297 , @xmath251 and @xmath298}$ ] and @xmath299 are independent of @xmath6 , @xmath300,@xmath301 .
[ crl : poly_mean_bddsupport ] assume conditions from corollary [ crl : flex_mean_bddsupport ] , @xmath302 is continuous in @xmath6 for all @xmath303 $ ] , @xmath175 is compact
. then there exists a sequence of polynomials @xmath180 such that @xmath304 where @xmath305 let @xmath306 .
note that @xmath307 $ ] and @xmath308 similarly , @xmath309 .
thus , for @xmath310 , @xmath311 . by the stone
weierstrass theorem there exist finite order polynomials in @xmath6 , @xmath180 such that @xmath312 .
therefore , @xmath313 , which was the only requirement on the means of the mixture components in corollary [ crl : flex_mean_bddsupport ] .
[ ex : exponential_flex_mean ] exponential distribution , @xmath314,@xmath315 , @xmath114 is continuous , @xmath316 and the second moment of @xmath21 is finite ( @xmath317 ) .
the quantile function is given by @xmath318 .
let the partition be such that @xmath319 .
since the exponential density is decreasing the largest interval in the fine part of the partition is given by @xmath320 .
therefore , @xmath321 .
choosing @xmath322 guarantees that @xmath323 .
for @xmath324 , and @xmath325 , and @xmath326 conditions ( [ eq : eppconditions ] ) , ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h_x ] ) and ( [ eq : cond_r_sigma_h_x ] ) hold .
next , let @xmath327 $ ] if @xmath328 $ ] , @xmath329 $ ] if @xmath330 .
since @xmath331 we have @xmath332 inequality ( [ eq : intboundfinffflexmu ] ) is satisfied since @xmath333 is assumed to be integrable . finally , let @xmath334 so that equation ( [ eq : cond_sigma0_x ] ) in assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] holds .
then , @xmath335 f(dy , dx)\biggr| = \biggl| \int\biggl[-\log(4 ) -
\frac{y^2 \pi}{4}\biggr ] f(dy , dx ) \biggr| <
\infty\ ] ] since the second moment of @xmath21 is assumed to be finite .
thus , condition of assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] holds . if @xmath175 is compact the same argument as in the proof of corollary [ crl : poly_mean_bddsupport ] can be used to show that @xmath26 can be polynomial in @xmath6 [ for fixed @xmath35 there exists @xmath179 such that @xmath336 for all @xmath6 and @xmath337 .
it is possible to give sufficient conditions for approximation results when @xmath114 is not bounded away from zero , for example , let @xmath338 , @xmath339 , etc .
however , then @xmath56 and @xmath55 would have to be functions of @xmath6 [ not necessarily flexible functions of @xmath6 but functions that would have the same order as @xmath114 ] . also , @xmath341 is not continuous and the argument i use for justifying the use of polynomial @xmath26 breaks down in this case .
[ ex : uniform_flex_mean ] uniform distribution , @xmath342}(y)$ ] , @xmath343 is continuous , @xmath344 and the second moment of @xmath21 is finite ( @xmath345 ) .
this example demonstrates that the support of @xmath31 does not have to be ( un)bounded uniformly in @xmath6 as long as normal variances are modeled as flexible functions of @xmath6 .
let the partition be such that @xmath297 and @xmath346 , @xmath253 .
note that @xmath347 .
for @xmath348 , and @xmath349 , and @xmath350 conditions ( [ eq : eppconditions ] ) , ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h_x ] ) and ( [ eq : cond_r_sigma_h_x ] ) hold .
next , let @xmath351 $ ] .
note that @xmath352 , and inequality ( [ eq : intboundfinffflexmu ] ) is satisfied .
finally , let @xmath353 so that inequality ( [ eq : cond_sigma0_x ] ) in assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] holds .
then , @xmath335 f(dy , dx)\biggr| = [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] holds .
if @xmath175 is compact and @xmath283 is bounded away from zero then the same argument , as in the proof of corollary [ crl : poly_mean_bddsupport ] , can be used to show that @xmath26 can be polynomial in @xmath6 [ for fixed @xmath35 there exists @xmath179 such that @xmath354 for all @xmath6 and @xmath337 .
[ crl : flex_mean_rate ] suppose conditions of proposition [ prp : flexiblemu_case ] are satisfied for @xmath355 , @xmath356 , @xmath357 and @xmath358 that do not depend on @xmath6 .
also , suppose conditions from parts and of corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] hold .
then for all sufficiently large @xmath35 , @xmath359 f(dy , dx),\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath360and bounds in ( [ eq : bound1fm_intdsuplnfdz])([eq : bound4fm_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) converge to zero as @xmath156 .
the proof is identical to the proof of corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] .
the bounds for @xmath240 , ( [ eq : bound1fm_intdsuplnfdz])([eq : bound4fm_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) , are almost the same as the bounds for @xmath53 , ( [ eq : bound1_intdsuplnfdz])([eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) , obtained in corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] , except for a difference between @xmath361 in @xmath240 and @xmath362 in @xmath53 .
for the same value of @xmath40 , the length of the complement of @xmath363 in @xmath240 is bounded above by @xmath364 [ @xmath365 which is the length of the complement of @xmath41 in @xmath53 .
thus the bounds obtained for @xmath240 are likely to be larger than the bounds obtained for @xmath53 .
compact and interpretable conditions sufficient for deriving an explicit approximation rate for @xmath240 from ( [ eq : bound1fm_intdsuplnfdz])([eq : bound4fm_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) seem to be difficult to find .
instead , i show in the following example that not only bounds for @xmath53 can be smaller but also that convergence for @xmath53 can be slightly faster than for @xmath240 .
[ ex:2side_exp_flex_mean_rates ] laplace distribution , latexmath:[$f(y|x ) = 0.5 \gamma(x ) \exp\{- \gamma(x ) @xmath114 is continuous , @xmath316 and the second moment of @xmath21 is finite ( @xmath317 ) . note that nondifferentiability of @xmath31 at zero does not affect any of the theoretical results above .
first consider @xmath240 .
let @xmath367 .
note that @xmath368 for @xmath369 and @xmath370 for @xmath371
. then , @xmath372\\[-8pt ] & = & \frac{1}{\gamma(x ) } \log\biggl(1 + \frac{2 p_m}{1-p_m m } \biggr ) .
\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] since @xmath323 and @xmath373 we can write @xmath374 where @xmath375 satisfies @xmath376 and @xmath377 . note that @xmath378 for any @xmath379 and all sufficiently large @xmath35 .
a direct calculation shows that integrals in ( [ eq : bound3fm_intdsuplnfdztail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4fm_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) can be bounded by @xmath380 for any @xmath381 and all sufficiently large @xmath35 . from ( [ eq : h_m_def ] ) and the mean value theorem , @xmath382 since the approximation error bounds increase in @xmath40 , we should choose the smallest possible value for @xmath383 .
one can verify that the smallest upper bound for @xmath80 , @xmath384 , @xmath385 and @xmath386 is inside the interval @xmath387}]$ ] for any @xmath388 and all sufficiently large @xmath35 .
thus , @xmath389}.\ ] ] next , consider @xmath53 .
expressions ( [ eq : bound3_intdsuplnfdztail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) are exponentially decreasing in @xmath390 . setting @xmath40 to a power of @xmath35 , one can show that @xmath391},\ ] ] for any @xmath392 and all sufficiently large @xmath35 .
these results suggest that @xmath53 converges to the target density faster than @xmath240
. it might be unfair to compare approximation errors for @xmath53 and @xmath240 .
although both models are `` infeasible '' and include @xmath35 functions that need to be approximated by polynomials ( or splines ) , the error from approximation by the polynomials enters the total approximation error in different ways .
nevertheless , the results obtained in this section do seem to suggest that models in which mixing probabilities depend on covariates might perform better in practice .
jiang and tanner ( @xcite ) is the only work on approximation of conditional densities by me that i am aware of . @xcite develop approximation and estimation results for target densities of the form @xmath393 functions @xmath394 , @xmath395 and @xmath165 are assumed to be known , @xmath394 and @xmath395 are assumed to have nonzero derivatives and @xmath396 is assumed to have uniformly bounded continuous second order derivatives .
it seems that their results could still hold if @xmath394 , @xmath395 and @xmath165 are known only up to some parameters ( see their remark 4 ) .
@xcite show that @xmath397 can be approximated in the kl distance by me of the form @xmath398 where @xmath399 is defined in ( [ eq : exp_family ] ) , @xmath400 is a linear function of @xmath6 and the mixing probabilities @xmath25 can be modeled by logit ( more general specifications for mixing weights are also allowed ) .
the idea of their argument is to divide @xmath175 into a fine partition @xmath401 , approximate @xmath402 by @xmath25 and approximate @xmath396 by linear function @xmath400 on @xmath401 .
@xcite prove that for their target class of densities a bound on the approximation error is proportional to @xmath403 .
there are several important differences between the present work and @xcite .
first , i consider multivariate responses , @xmath21 , while @xcite consider univariate responses .
most importantly , i do not assume that functional form of @xmath31 is known , for example , known @xmath404 , @xmath394 , @xmath395 and @xmath165 .
the components of the model i employ , for example , normal densities and logit mixing probabilities , are generally not related to the true density . as examples [ ex : inf_student ] and [ ex : inf_cont_bddsupport ] and corollary [ crl : flex_mean_bddsupport ] illustrate ,
many densities that are not from ( [ eq : exp_family ] ) are shown to be approximable by me models .
examples [ ex : exponential ] and [ ex : exponential_flex_mean ] also show that some of the densities from class ( [ eq : exp_family ] ) satisfy sufficient conditions for approximation results i obtain .
however , there might exist densities from ( [ eq : exp_family ] ) that violate these sufficient conditions .
this would not be surprising since the `` correct '' functional forms are mixed in ( [ eq : jtmodel ] ) . for the same reason it is not surprising that the approximation rate obtained by @xcite , @xmath403 , differs from the ones obtained here , for example , @xmath405}$ ] for model @xmath221 in corollary [ crl : linlogit_case_bounds ] .
finally , responses in @xcite class ( [ eq : exp_family ] ) can be discrete , for example , poisson . to accommodate discrete responses in the framework of the present paper one could map the discrete values of response @xmath21 into a partition of @xmath191 and introduce a corresponding latent variable @xmath406 .
for example , for binary @xmath407 let @xmath408 if @xmath409 and @xmath410 if @xmath411 .
any discrete distribution can be represented by a continuously distributed latent variable in this fashion .
this continuous distribution can be flexibly modeled by @xmath412 .
models with latent variables are easy to estimate in the bayesian framework using mcmc methods [ see , e.g. , @xcite and @xcite ] .
this paper shows that large classes of conditional densities can be approximated in the kullback leibler distance by different specifications of finite smooth mixtures of normal densities or regressions .
the theory can be generalized to smooth mixtures of location scale densities .
these results have interesting implications for applied researchers .
first of all , smooth mixtures of densities or experts can be used as flexible models for estimation of multivariate conditional densities .
it seems this issue has not been explored in the literature and it would be interesting to see how specifications studied in the paper work in these settings .
second , smooth mixtures of simple components , for example , models in which mixing probabilities are modeled by multinomial logit linear in covariates and the means and variances do not depend on covariates , can be quite flexible .
a simulation study in @xcite suggests though that models with more complex components perform better in practice .
this issue should be further explored in simulation studies .
third , results in section [ sec : lin_logit ] suggest that making mixing probabilities more flexible , for example , by using polynomials in logit , might reduce the number of necessary mixture components . however , these models are more difficult to estimate .
fourth , models in which mixing probabilities do not depend on covariates can be very flexible at least for univariate response variables .
however , they seem to require a lot of mixture components and very flexible models for the means of the mixed normals .
also , approximation error bounds and convergences rates ( example [ ex:2side_exp_flex_mean_rates ] ) obtained in section [ sec : flex_mean ] suggest that models with flexible mixing probabilities might perform better in practice than models with flexible means of the mixed normals and constant mixing probabilities
. nevertheless , it would be interesting to see how these specifications perform in actual applications and simulation studies .
on the basis of a simulation study , @xcite generally recommend using heteroscedastic experts ( mixture components with variances that depend on covariates ) .
the theory obtained here suggests that heteroscedastic experts might be necessary when differences in quantiles of @xmath93 are not uniformly bounded in @xmath6 and , especially , when the support bounds of @xmath93 are increasing without a bound in @xmath6 ( see examples [ ex : infeasible_unifrm ] and [ ex : uniform_flex_mean ] ) .
this suggestion is likely to remain useful when the differences in quantiles and/or support of @xmath93 , although bounded , still change considerably with covariates .
practical implications of the theoretical results obtained in the paper and summarized in this section are deduced under the assumption of no estimation and parameter uncertainty .
exploring the behavior of the estimation error in addition to the approximation error would result in a more complete understanding of the me models .
this issue is left for future work .
overall , the paper provides a number of encouraging approximation results for ( smooth ) mixtures of densities or experts which might stimulate more theoretical and applied work in this area of research .
proof of proposition [ prp : gen_case ] since @xmath413 is always nonnegative , @xmath414 thus , it suffices to show that the last integral in the inequality above converges to zero as @xmath35 increases .
the dominated convergence theorem ( dct ) is used for that .
first , i establish conditions for point - wise convergence of the integrand to zero a.s . @xmath0 .
then , i present conditions for existence of an integrable upper bound on the integrand required by the dct . for fixed @xmath32 , @xmath415\\[-8pt ] & \geq & \inf_{z \in c_{\delta_m}(y ) }
f(z|x ) \sum_{j\dvtx a_j^m \subset c_{\delta_m}(y ) } \lambda(a_j^m ) \phi(y , \mu _ j^m,\sigma_m),\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath74 is the lebesgue measure . in lemmas [ lm : boundrsbyint_esp ] and [ lm : boundintby1 ]
, i derive the following bounds for the riemann sum in ( [ eq : model_lb ] ) ( the riemann sum is not far from the corresponding normal integral , and the integral is not far from 1 ) : @xmath416 where the last inequality holds for all sufficiently large @xmath35 ( @xmath417 ) .
given @xmath418 there exists @xmath419 such that for @xmath420 , expressions in ( [ eq : riemannsumbd ] ) are bounded below by @xmath421 . if @xmath31 is continuous in @xmath21 at @xmath32 and @xmath422 there exists @xmath423 such that for @xmath424 , @xmath425 \leq(1 + \varepsilon)$ ] since @xmath47 . for any @xmath426 , @xmath427 thus , @xmath428 a.s .
@xmath0 as long as @xmath31 is continuous in @xmath21 a.s .
@xmath0 [ @xmath31 is always positive a.s .
@xmath0 ] .
parts and of assumption [ assn : general_case ] are used for establishing an integrable upper bound for the dct @xmath430 \nonumber\\[-8pt]\\[-8pt ] & & \hspace*{0pt}{}\times\inf_{z \in c_1(r , y , x ) } f(z|x ) \cdot \sum_{j\dvtx a_j^m \subset c_1(r , y , x ) } \lambda(a_j^m ) \phi(y , \mu _
j^m,\sigma_m ) \nonumber\\ & & { } + 1_{a_0^m}(y ) \cdot \inf_{z \in c_0(r , y , x ) } f(z|x ) \cdot \lambda(c_0(r , y , x ) ) \phi(y , 0,\sigma_0 ) .
\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] lemmas [ lm : boundrsbyint_esp ] and [ lm : boundintby1 ] imply that the riemann sum in ( [ eq : riemannsuminbound ] ) is bounded below by @xmath431 for any @xmath35 larger then some @xmath432
. inequalities ( [ eq : riemannsuminbound ] ) and ( [ eq : cond_sigma0 ] ) imply @xmath433\\[-8pt ] & & \qquad= \log\frac{1}{\phi(y , 0,\sigma_0 ) ( r/2)^d } \max\biggl\{\phi(y , 0,\sigma_0 ) ( r/2)^d,\frac{f(y|x)}{\inf_{z \in c(r , y , x ) } f(z|x)}\biggr\ } \nonumber\\ & & \qquad\leq -\log\bigl(\phi(y , 0,\sigma_0 ) ( r/2)^d\bigr ) + \log\frac{f(y|x)}{\inf_{z \in c(r , y , x ) } f(z|x)},\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] where inequality ( [ eq : inqlty1 ] ) follows by the first inequality in ( [ eq : cond_sigma0 ] ) .
the first expression in ( [ eq : inqlty1 ] ) is integrable by assumption [ assn : general_case ] , part .
the second expression in ( [ eq : inqlty1 ] ) is integrable by assumption [ assn : general_case ] , part . thus the proposition is proved .
proof of corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] the proof of the first part of the proposition is a simple implication of the argument in the proof of proposition [ prp : gen_case ] . note that @xmath434\\[-8pt ] & & { } + \int_{b_{\delta_m}(a_0^m ) } \log\frac{f(y|x)}{p(y|x,\mathcal{m}_0 ) } f(dy , dx ) .
\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] for @xmath435 , inequalities ( [ eq : model_lb ] ) and ( [ eq : riemannsumbd ] ) apply .
thus , the first integral in ( [ eq : d_kl_2_ints ] ) is bounded by the sum of ( [ eq : bound1_intfinff ] ) and ( [ eq : bound2_lof1_epsm ] ) , where the bound in ( [ eq : bound2_lof1_epsm ] ) is obtained by the mean value theorem for @xmath436 and a small positive @xmath6 , @xmath437\\[-8pt ] & & \qquad \leq2 \biggl ( \frac{3 d^{3/2 } \delta_m^{d-1 } h_m } { ( 2 \pi)^{d/2 } \sigma_m^d } + \exp\biggl\{-\frac{(\delta_m/\sigma_m)^2}{8 } \biggr\ } \biggr ) .
\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] by inequality ( [ eq : riemannsuminbound ] ) , the second integral in ( [ eq : d_kl_2_ints ] ) is bounded by the sum of ( [ eq : bound3_intfinfftail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4_inty2_cftail ] ) .
expression ( [ eq : bound1_intfinff ] ) converges to zero by the dct .
the point - wise convergence follows by the assumed continuity and positivity of @xmath31 .
an integrable upper bound is given by ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) .
expression ( [ eq : bound1_intfinff ] ) converges to zero by ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h ] ) .
expressions ( [ eq : bound3_intfinfftail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4_inty2_cftail ] ) converge to zero because @xmath438 and the integrands are integrable by ( [ eq : intboundfinff ] ) and by the assumed finiteness of the second moment of @xmath21 .
thus , the first part of the proposition is proved .
the second part of the proposition [ bounds for differentiable @xmath31 ] follows from the first part since @xmath440 which is implied by the multivariate mean value theorem : for any @xmath441 @xmath442 for some @xmath443 $ ] .
convergence of the bounds to zero is obtained in the same way as in the first part of the proposition . to obtain the third part
let us suppose that the fine part of the partition @xmath444 is centered at 0 . if @xmath445 , then @xmath446 for @xmath447 and all sufficiently large @xmath35 and @xmath448 \\ & & \qquad \leq ( h_m m^{1/d } / 3)^{-(q-2)}\nonumber\\ & & \qquad\quad{}\times \int _ { \{(y , x)\dvtx|y_i| > h_m m^{1/d } / 3 , \forall i \ } } ( h_m m^{1/d } / 3)^{q-2 } y_i^2 f(dy , dx ) \nonumber\\ & & \qquad \leq ( h_m m^{1/d } / 3)^{-(q-2 ) } \int _ { y \times x } y_i^q f(dy , dx).\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] similarly , @xmath449\\[-8pt ] & & \hspace*{137pt}{}\times \sup_{z
\in c_{r}(y ) } \biggl\vert\frac{d \log f(z|x ) } { dz}\biggr\vert f(dy , dx)\biggr)\nonumber\\ & & \qquad\quad\hspace*{0pt}{}\times\bigl((h_m m^{1/d } / 3)^{q-2 } \bigr)^{-1 } \nonumber\\ & & \qquad \leq ( h_m m^{1/d } / 3)^{-(q-2 ) } \int _ { y \times x } y_{i_1}^{q-2 }
\sup_{z \in c_{r}(y ) } \biggl\vert\frac{d \log f(z|x ) } { dz}\biggr\vert f(dy , dx).\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] since integrals in ( [ eq : bd_rate_y2 ] ) and ( [ eq : bd_rate_dlogfdz ] ) are finite by assumption , ( [ eq : bound3_intdsuplnfdztail ] ) and ( [ eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) can be bounded above by an expression proportional to @xmath170 .
thus , the sum of ( [ eq : bound1_intdsuplnfdz])([eq : bound4_inty2_cftail_2 ] ) is bounded by @xmath450\\[-8pt ] & & \qquad{}+c_4 \cdot1/(h_m m^{1/d})^{q-2},\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] where constants @xmath451 , @xmath452 , @xmath453 and @xmath454 do not depend on @xmath35 .
let @xmath455 be the smallest number satisfying @xmath456 , @xmath457 , @xmath458 and @xmath459 .
the first three of these inequalities imply @xmath460/m^{1/d}\}^{1/[2 + 1/(q-2)]}.\ ] ] it implies that for all sequences @xmath80 , @xmath56 and @xmath40 allowed by the corollary , @xmath461)}.\ ] ] one can verify that @xmath462 } \leq\biggl ( \frac{1}{m } \biggr)^{1/(d \cdot[2 + 1/(q-2)+\varepsilon])},\ ] ] when @xmath80 equal to the first bound in ( [ eq:2bds_rate ] ) , @xmath463 and @xmath464 .
proof of proposition [ prp : gen_linear_logit ] define @xmath465 and @xmath466 . for @xmath467 ,
@xmath468 > [ -r_m ( s_m - x^ { \prime } x)]\ ] ] and for @xmath469 , @xmath470 < [ -r_m ( 2 s_m - x^ { \prime } x)].\ ] ] note that @xmath471 where the second inequality follows from ( [ eq : i1rmsm ] ) and ( [ eq : i2rmsm ] ) .
the last inequality follows from the following bounds on the number of elements in @xmath472 and @xmath473 : @xmath474 [ @xmath475 is chosen in ( [ eq : condsmrm ] ) so that any ball in @xmath175 with radius @xmath476 has to contain at least one @xmath216 ] and @xmath478 for @xmath467 and @xmath479 , @xmath480 inequalities ( [ eq : boundsumi1 ] ) , ( [ eq : fa_jboindlogitlin ] ) and ( [ eq : riemannsumbd ] ) imply that @xmath481 exceeds @xmath482 \\ & & \qquad\quad\hspace*{78.5pt } { } \times \biggl[1-d_x^{d_x/2}\frac{\exp\{-r_m s_m\}}{s_m^{d_x/2 } } \biggr].\end{aligned}\ ] ] the expression on the last line of this inequality converges to @xmath483 by ( [ eq : condsmrm ] ) .
the rest of the proof is exactly the same as the proof of proposition [ prp : gen_case ] .
proof of corollary [ crl : linlogit_case_bounds ] the proof of part ( i ) is identical to the proof of corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] part ( ii ) . the proof of part ( ii ) is also similar to the proof of corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] part ( iii ) .
just set @xmath484 and note that ( [ eq : bound5_exprmsm ] ) can be made arbitrarily smaller than the other parts of the bound by an appropriate choice of @xmath224 .
thus , the bound is the same as in ( [ eq : bd_rate ] ) , we just need to express @xmath35 in terms of the number of mixture components in @xmath485 , @xmath486 . from the definition of @xmath238 and @xmath475 , @xmath487 .
since we set @xmath484 and @xmath488)}$ ] in the proof of corollary [ crl : gen_case_bounds ] , @xmath489)}.\ ] ] from this equation , one can express @xmath35 as a function of @xmath486 and plug it in ( [ eq : bd_rate ] ) to obtain ( [ eq : bd_rate_linlogit ] ) .
proof of proposition [ prp : flexiblemu_case ] first , consider point - wise convergence a.s .
@xmath0 . for fixed @xmath32 and an interval @xmath490 with center @xmath21 and length @xmath491 , @xmath492\\[-8pt ] & & \hspace*{90.1pt}{}\times \phi(y , \mu _
j^m(x),\sigma_m(x ) ) \nonumber\\ & \geq & \inf_{z \in c_{\delta_m(x)}(y ) } f(z|x ) \biggl(1 - \frac { 6 h_m(x ) } { ( 2 \pi)^{1/2 } \sigma_m(x ) } \nonumber\\ & & \hspace*{80.38pt } { } - \frac{16 \sigma_m(x ) } { ( 2 \pi)^{1/2 } \delta_m(x)}\exp\biggl\{-\frac { ( \delta_m/\sigma_m)^2}{8 } \biggr\}\biggr),\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the last inequality follows from lemma [ lm : boundrs_epp_new ] [ if @xmath493 and @xmath373 then for any @xmath32 there exists @xmath211 such that @xmath494 , @xmath495 and the lemma applies ] .
convergence of the bound in ( [ eq : m4_lb ] ) to @xmath31 a.s .
@xmath0 is implied by a.s .
positivity and continuity in @xmath21 of @xmath31 and conditions in ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h_x ] ) .
the rest of the argument establishing point - wise convergence is the same as for @xmath53 [ details are below ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h ] ) ] .
next , let us derive an integrable upper bound for the dct , @xmath496 \nonumber\\ & & \hspace*{0pt}{}\times\inf_{z \in c_1(r(x),y , x ) } f(z|x)\nonumber\\[-8pt]\\[-8pt ] & & \hspace*{66pt}{}\times \sum_{j\dvtx a_j^m(x ) \subset c_1(r(x),y , x ) } \lambda(a_j^m(x))\nonumber\\ & & \hspace*{161pt}{}\times \phi(y , \mu _
j^m(x),\sigma_m(x ) ) \nonumber\\ & & { } + 1_{a_0^m(x)}(y ) \cdot \inf_{z \in c_0(r(x),y , x ) } f(z|x ) \cdot \lambda(c_0(r(x),y , x))\nonumber\\ & & \hspace*{117.2pt}{}\times \phi(y , 0,\sigma_0(x ) ) . \nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] lemma [ lm : boundrs_epp_new ] and condition ( [ eq : cond_r_sigma_h_x ] ) imply that the sum in ( [ eq : riemannsumeppinbound ] ) is bounded below by @xmath497 for all sufficiently large @xmath35 .
equation ( [ eq : cond_sigma0_x ] ) implies @xmath498 + \log\frac{f(y|x)}{\inf_{z
\in c(r(x),y , x ) } f(z|x)}.\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] inequality ( [ eq : eppinqlty1 ] ) follows by ( [ eq : cond_sigma0_x ] ) . the first expression in ( [ eq : eppinqlty1 ] )
is integrable by assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] , part .
the second expression in ( [ eq : eppinqlty1 ] ) is integrable by assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] , part .
this completes the proof of the proposition .
proof of corollary [ crl : flex_mean_bddsupport ] it suffices to show that assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] is satisfied .
first , let us obtain a suitable @xmath40 .
note that @xmath499 } f(y|x)\,dy \geq\lambda \bigl(a_j^m(x ) \cap[a_1(x ) , b_1(x)]\bigr ) \underline{f}.\ ] ] also , @xmath500 } f(y|x)\,dy\nonumber\\ & \geq&\int_{a_j^m(x ) \cap[a(x),a_1(x ) ] } \underline{f } \cdot [ y - a(x)]^n \,dy \\
& \geq & ( n+1)^{-1 } \lambda\bigl(a_j^m(x ) \cap[a(x),a_1(x)]\bigr)^{n+1 } \underline{f}\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] and similarly @xmath501)^{n+1 } \underline{f}$ ] . combining this inequality with ( [ eq : p_mbd1 ] ) and ( [ eq : p_mbd2 ] ) we get for all @xmath6 and @xmath502 , @xmath503 for @xmath504 and @xmath505 conditions ( [ eq : eppconditions ] ) , ( [ eq : cond_delta_sigma_h_x ] ) and ( [ eq : cond_r_sigma_h_x ] ) hold . next ,
let @xmath506 $ ] if @xmath507 , @xmath508 $ ] if @xmath509 $ ] and @xmath510 $ ] if @xmath511 . by condition of the corollary @xmath512 for @xmath513 $ ] . for @xmath509 $ ]
, @xmath514 and @xmath515 condition and ( [ eq : cond_sigma0_x ] ) in assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] are assumed in the corollary . since
@xmath282 and @xmath283 are assumed to be square integrable , the second moment of @xmath21 is finite , and condition of assumption [ assn : flexiblemu_case ] holds .
[ lm : boundrsbyint_esp ] define a hypercube @xmath516 .
let @xmath517 be adjacent hypercubes with centers @xmath518 and side length @xmath519 such that @xmath520 and @xmath521 . define @xmath522 .
then @xmath523 by symmetry , this result holds for any hypercube with vertex at @xmath21 and side length @xmath524 .
this implies that for hypercube @xmath525 , @xmath526 as long as @xmath527 and @xmath528 . for @xmath529 let @xmath530 be a shifted and rotated version of @xmath531 .
note that @xmath532 , and therefore @xmath533 since @xmath534 $ ] and @xmath535 , we get @xmath536 ) \geq(\delta- 3 d^{1/2 } h)^d$ ] and @xmath537\biggr ) & = & \lambda(c_{\delta}(y ) ) - \lambda\biggl(c_{\delta}(y ) \cap\biggl[\bigcup_{j \in j } b_j\biggr]\biggr ) \nonumber\\ & \leq & \delta^d - ( \delta- 3 d^{1/2 } h)^d \leq3 d^{3/2 } h \delta^{d-1 } , % 3 h d \delta^{d-1}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the last inequality follows by induction .
thus , @xmath538\biggr ) \frac{1}{(2 \pi ) ^{d/2 } \sigma^d } \\ & \leq & \frac{3 d^{3/2 } h \delta^{d-1}}{(2 \pi)^{d/2}\sigma^d}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] [ lm : boundintby1 ] let @xmath539 be a @xmath243-dimensional hypercube with center @xmath21 and side length @xmath540 . then @xmath541 note that this inequality immediately implies that for any sub - hypercube of @xmath539 , @xmath542 , with vertex at @xmath21 and side length @xmath543 , for example , @xmath544 $ ] , @xmath545 @xmath546 } { \phi(\mu;0;\sigma ) \,d\mu}\\ & = & 1 - \int_{\bigcup_{i=1}^d [ |\mu_{i}| \geq\delta/2 ] } { \phi(\mu;0;\sigma)\,d\mu } \\ & \geq & 1 - \sum_{i=1}^{d } \int_{|\mu_{i}| \geq\delta/2 } { \phi(\mu_{i};0;\sigma)\,d\mu_{i } } \\ & = & 1- 2 d \int_{\delta/2 } ^{\infty}{\phi(\mu_1;0;\sigma)\,d\mu_1 } \\ & > & 1 - \frac{2 d}{(2 \pi)^{1/2 } \sigma } \int_{\delta/2 } ^{\infty } { \exp\biggl\{-\frac{0.5 ( \delta/2 ) \mu_1 } { \sigma^2 } \biggr\}\,d\mu_1 } \\ & = & 1 - \frac{2 d}{(2 \pi)^{1/2 } \sigma } \frac{- \sigma^2}{0.5 ( \delta/2 ) } \exp\{-0.5 ( \delta/2 ) \mu_1 / \sigma^2 \ } \\ & = & 1 - \frac{8 d ( \sigma/ \delta ) } { ( 2 \pi)^{1/2 } } \exp\biggl\{-\frac{(\delta/\sigma)^2}{8 } \biggr\}. % > 1 - \frac{8 d \sigma}{(2 \pi)^{1/2 } \delta}\end{aligned}\ ] ] [ lm : boundrs_epp_new ] let @xmath517 be a partition of an interval on @xmath191 such that @xmath547 and @xmath548 .
assume @xmath549 \subset\cup a_j$ ] is an interval with center @xmath21 and length @xmath524 .
then @xmath550 if @xmath551 $ ] or @xmath552 $ ] the lower bound in the above expression should be divided by 2 .
let @xmath553\}$ ] . for any @xmath529 and @xmath554 , @xmath555 as @xmath556 and @xmath548 , which implies @xmath557 .
therefore , @xmath558 } \phi(y , \mu -h,\sigma)\ , d \mu.\ ] ] note next that @xmath559 } \phi(y , \mu -h,\sigma ) \,d \mu\\ & & \qquad\geq \int_{y-\delta}^{y - h } \phi(y , \mu - h,\sigma)\ , d \mu= \int _ { y-\delta -h}^{y-2h } \phi(y , \mu,\sigma ) \,d \mu \\ & & \qquad = \int_{y-\delta}^{y } \phi(y , \mu,\sigma)\ , d \mu\\ & & \qquad\quad { } - \int_{y-\delta - h}^{y-\delta } \phi(y , \mu,\sigma)\ , d \mu- \int_{y-2h}^{y } \phi(y , \mu,\sigma)\ , d \mu \\ & & \qquad \geq \int_{y-\delta}^{y } \phi(y , \mu,\sigma )
\,d \mu- \frac{3h}{(2 \pi ) ^{1/2 } \sigma}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] by symmetry the same results can be obtained for @xmath560\}$ ] .
thus @xmath561 the claim of the lemma follows by lemma [ lm : boundintby1 ] .
the author is grateful to john geweke and participants of seminars at princeton , sbies 09 and site 09 for helpful discussions .
i thank justinas pelenis for pointing out shortcomings in several proofs .
i thank an associate editor and anonymous referees for useful suggestions .
all remaining errors are mine .
peng , f. , jacobs , r. a. and tanner , m. a. ( 1996 ) .
bayesian inference in mixtures - of - experts and hierarchical mixtures - of - experts models with an application to speech recognition .
_ j. amer . statist .
assoc . _ * 91 * 953960 .
rust , j. ( 1996 ) . numerical dynamic programming in economics . in _
handbook of computational economics _
( h. amman , d. kendrick and j. rust , eds . ) .
north - holland , amsterdam .
available at http://gemini.econ.umd.edu/jrust/sdp/ndp.pdf . | arxiv |
vitamin d - resistant rickets ( vdrr ) , also known as hereditary or familial
hypophosphatemia , is characterized by a metabolic disturbance which causes defective
calcification of mineralized structures .
vdrr is well established genetically as an x - linked dominant
metabolic disorder , that may be characterized by persistent hypophosphatemia and
hyperphosphaturea associated with decreased renal tubular reabsorption of inorganic
phosphates .
, there is deficient mineralization of bone caused by a genetic defect in renal
transepithelial transport of phosphate , which leads to a decrease in tubular
reabsorption of phosphate and persistent hypophosphatemia .
the features of rickets are
the main systemic signs , but many children are not diagnosed until about 2 - 3 years of
age . the metabolic disorder is treated with large doses of oral replacement of
phosphate .
these anomalies lead to discordance between the production and the rate of
mineralization of bone matrix , hence the accumulation of unmineralized matrix and poorly
mineralized bone , causing as main clinical features severe body deformities , especially
bowing of the legs , impaired growth and short stature .
radiologic findings usually
include fractures , generalized osteopenia , growth failure , in some cases
craniosynostosis may be present and arched or curve legs .
dental findings that are often characteristic include dentin defects , unusually large
pulp chambers and enlarged pulp horns , in some cases the enamel is hypoplastic .
these dental problems
are more commonly associated with the primary than the permanent dentition .
the most common intraoral radiologic
findings include large pulp chambers , short roots , poorly defined lamina dura and
hypoplastic alveolar ridge .
on histologic analysis , the dentin exhibits large tubular clefts or lacunae and the
enlarged pulp horns may extend beyond the dentino - enamel junction .
the poorly formed dentin and close proximity of the pulp to the tooth surface may lead
to a rapid necrosis of the pulp with periapical complications , because the bacterial
ingress to the pulp is being facilitated , occurring spontaneous dental abscess without
history of trauma or caries .
the purpose of this article is to report a case of vdrr in a 5 year - old boy , describing
dental findings and treatment .
a 5 year - old boy was referred to the pediatric dentistry clinic with the complaint of " a
small ball that appeared in the mouth " . during the anamnesis ,
the child was the third twin ;
however , the parents as well as the siblings , did not have the metabolic disorder .
clinical examinations revealed fistula at the periapical region of primary maxillary
left lateral incisor without caries or trauma ( figure
1 ) .
the patient presented complete primary dentition and none of the teeth
examined showed evidence of caries ( figure 2a - b ) .
radiographic examinations included periapical , panoramic and occlusal views showing pulp
chambers enlarged , with pulp horns extending to the dentino - enamel junction , poorly
defined lamina dura and hypoplastic alveolar ridge ( figure 2c ) .
the patient presented a large physiologic wear of the incisors ,
geographic tongue and primary mandibular right lateral incisor ( # 82 ) and canine ( # 83 )
with crown alteration ( figure 3a - b ) .
there were
areas of rarefaction around the apices of the primary maxillary right and left central
incisor ( # 51,61 ) , primary maxillary right and left lateral incisor ( # 52,62 ) , primary
maxillary right and left canine ( # 53,63 ) and primary maxillary right and left first
molar ( # 54,64 ) , primary mandibular right and left central incisor ( # 81,71 ) ( figure 4 and 5a - b ) .
clinical examinations revealed fistula at the periapical region of primary
maxillary left lateral incisor the patient presented complete primary dentition and none of the teeth examined
showed evidence of caries panoramic radiography showed the initial conditions teeth # 82 and # 83 fused , clinical and periapical radiography periapical radiography showed areas of rarefaction around the apices of the
primary maxillary right and left central incisor periapical radiography showed pulp chambers enlarged with pulp horns extending to
the dentino - enamel junction initially , two sections of management were performed .
the treatment was divided into two
phases : at first , the extraction of the teeth was performed : # 51 , 61 , 81 and 71 . at the
second phase , endodontic treatment of the teeth : # 52 , 62 , 53 and 63 .
the root canals were
submitted to preparation with kerr files and dressing with paramonoclorofenol
( biodinmica ltda , brazil ) for 48 hours .
canals were filled with zinc oxid - eugenol and
iodoform paste and restored with resin glass ionomer cement ( vitremer , 3m / espe ,
usa ) . during the aforementioned treatment , primary mandibular right first molar ( # 84 ) , primary
maxillary
right and left first molar ( # 54,64 ) and primary mandibular left second molar
( # 75 ) showed periapical fistula without evidence of caries or trauma in a short - term .
these teeth were extracted .
however , the child was constantly sick and did not attend
the consultations . in the other teeth , the primary mandibular right second molar ( # 85 ) ,
lateral incisor and canine ( # 82,83 ) , primary maxillary right and left second molars
( # 55,65 ) , primary mandibular left first molar and lateral incisor and canine
( # 74,73,72 ) , the choice of treatment was to open the pulp chambers and make a dressing
with formocresol ( biodinmica ltda , brazil ) . after a 7-day period
, the dressing with
formocresol was removed and the root instrumentation was performed and filled with zinc
oxid - eugenol and iodoform paste , afterwards the teeth were restored with resin glass
ionomer cement ( vitremer , 3m / espe , usa ) ( figure
6 ) .
panoramic radiography showed the final treatment in order to maintain the space of primary maxillary right and left second molars and
primary mandibular right second molar , a fixed space - maintainer was made and cemented
with resin modified glass ionomer cement ( rely x , 3m / espe , usa ) ( figure 7a - b ) .
the postoperative clinic course was uneventful and
after six months of follow - up , the child did not show clinical abscesses . fixed space - maintainer for maxillary and mandibular
dental abscesses are frequently observed in vdrr , to the extent that some patients are
first diagnosed from the appearance of the spontaneous dental abscesses which are found
in the absence of caries or trauma .
recurrent abscess formation affecting multiple non - carious primary
teeth has been the main clinical feature in the present case .
these abscesses are due to
deficiencies of dentine mineralization which result in large pulp chambers and physical
defects within dentine . in many teeth , there are channels connecting the pulp horns to
the dentino - enamel junction , and , therefore , when the enamel is lost through attrition
or caries , oral microorganisms enter the pulp through these channels . in the present report , the symptoms
were enlarged pulp chambers , poorly calcified dentin and multiple dental abscesses . of
the manifestations ,
spontaneous dental abscesses are most characteristic of this
metabolic disorder and present difficult problems to dentists .
these abscesses may be
the first sign of a metabolic disorder , such as vdrr , which causes the patient to seek
dental attention and then , subsequently , medical evaluation .
( 2012 ) showed an increasing frequency of endodontic complications
in these patients and the number of affected teeth increase significantly with age .
these authors concluded that the need for endodontic treatment among these patients is
comprehensive .
the basic dental defects in vitamin d - resistant rickets seem to be manifested in dentin .
spontaneous gingival and dental abscesses occur
without history of trauma or caries , and radiographic evidence of enlarged pulp chambers
with pulpal horns extending beyond the dentino - enamel junction are most important oral
findings . beltes and
zachou ( 2012 ) affirmed that
conservative endodontic treatment must be performed in all teeth with pulp necrosis and
rarefactions .
both findings and
treatment are recognized in the case presented . according to some authors ,
the histologic examination showed the penetration of
microorganisms through the calcified structures of the enamel layer without visible
caries .
the microorganisms passed through the dentino - enamel junction and invaded
dentin , which was characterized by calcospherites and large amounts of interglobular
dentin .
furthermore , microorganisms could be detected in dentinal tubules , which were
exposed to the oral cavity when enamel was removed .
however , large areas of tertiary
dentin extended between such tubules and the pulp .
these light microscopic results
suggest that clinical manifestations , such as pulp recrosis and periapical lesions , may
be caused by the penetration of microorganisms through microclefts of the enamel layer
as well as pathologically altered enamel microstructures of affected teeth .
patients should be informed of possible dental problems and should seek
immediate care when necessary .
as demonstrated in the present case , patients with vdrr have abnormal tooth morphology
as thin globular dentin and enlarged pulp horns that extend into the dentino - enamel
junction .
the increased
fibrotic content of the pulp , together with a reduced number of odontoblasts , decreases
the response to pulp infection . in this case , the spontaneous abscesses were common ,
thus , the extraction and pulpectomy was the treatment of choice .
regardless , the
prognosis for spontaneously abscessed teeth in patients with vdrr has been extremely
poor .
the main management strategy for the dental manifestations is the prevention of dental
abscesses by prophylactic treatment . in the patients , this
may be achieved through
prophylactic pulp therapy , pulpotomy and pulpectomy , coverage of the molar teeth with
stainless steel and restoration of the teeth with composite resins and resin glass
ionomer cement .
the methodical failure of these treated teeth suggests unhealthy pulps . the general
assumption in vdrr patients that microorganisms gain access to the pulp following
physiologic attrition
these teeth may erupt with pulpal
extensions that communicate with the oral cavity , resulting in microscopic exposures
from the time of eruption .
the prophylactic pulpotomies are being performed on pulp
tissue that is not as healthy as previously believed .
perphaps , the pulps were already
infected and the existing condition continued to progress undetected .
since the pulpal
health of teeth in these patients may be suspect , a more radical treatment approach of
prophylactic pulpectomy may be more beneficial . at this time
, there is insufficient
evidence to suggest that the recommendation for prophylactic pulpotomy therapy is
beneficial in preserving primary dentition in this patient population .
hypothesis had shown no or little
effect on dental anomalies as result of treatment with vitamin d and phosphate
supplements , therefore , this hypothesis must be explored precisely . moreover , to prevent spontaneous dental abscesses as observed in our patient , early
conservative endodontic treatment is necessary . in patients with vdrr ,
professional
dental care consisting of periodical examinations , topical fluoride application and the
maintenance of good oral hygiene should be performed .
thus , dentists are advised to provide information about the
dental characteristics that might first diagnose such patients and that might request
referrals to dentist as early as possible to prevent dental infections . | pubmed |
Rough/ballpark thermodynamics and black body temperature question
This is probobly pretty basic but I got into a debate with someone and the temperature of Titan came up, and I did some quick and dirty calculations - as follows.
Titan is about 9.5 times as far from the sun as the earth is, so, per square foot, it gets about 1/90th the solar energy the earth does.
According to the Stefan-boltzmann law, heat radiates off an object at the 4th power of the temperature, so if the earth recieves 90 times the energy per square foot in energy than Titan, it makes sense that it would also, given time to let the equilibrium happen, radiate about 90 times the energy per square foot as Titan, and so it's temperature should be roughly the 4th root of 90 times Titan's temperature (about 3) and that seems roughly true.
Earth - average temp, about 288 degrees. Titan average temp, about 94 degrees. 3 times 94 = 282. - pretty close.
Now, I know this quick and dirty calculation doesn't take into account internal heat, albedo, tides or Greenhouse, but my question is - is that roughly correct - 2 identical objects, the one that gets 90 times as much energy (or, 81 times) as the other should be three time as hot, or is that a bad way to look at it?
Thanks.
I think this should be roughly correct.
If you want to also roughly estimate the difference that internal heat, tides and atmosphere (the Earth's) would have had, you can look at the moon, which is the same distance from Titan but has an average surface temperature of $268K$. So your error is about $20K$ for estimating earth's temperature from Titan's. $268K/3\approx 95K$ which is more accurate for Titan's temperature.
| stackexchange/physics |
Deduction of four-acceleration vector
Consider an Euclidean metric. The four-accelation vector can be obtained from the time derivative of four-velocity:
$$a^k=\frac{du^k}{d\tau}=\gamma \frac{du^k}{dt}$$
We have that $u^k=(\gamma \vec{u}, ic\gamma)$, where $\vec{u}=(u\_x,u\_y,u\_z)$.
So,
$$a^1=\gamma \frac{ d(\gamma u\_x)}{dt}=\gamma\frac{d\gamma}{dt}u\_x+ \gamma^2\frac{du\_x}{dt}=$$
$$=\frac{\gamma^4}{c^2}u\dot{u}\hspace{2pt}u\_x+\gamma^2\dot{u}$$
This result is analogous to $a^2$ and $a^3$ components, and we have for $a^4$:
$$a^4=\gamma ic\frac{d\gamma}{dt}=i\frac{\gamma^4}{c}u\dot{u}$$
We have finally,
$$a^k=\left(\frac{\gamma^4}{c^2}u\dot{u}\vec{u}+\gamma^2\dot{u}, i\frac{\gamma^4}{c}u\dot{u}\right)$$
I've seen in books the following consideration:
$$u\dot{u}=(\vec{u}.\vec{\dot{u}})$$
The problem is that $\vec{u}$ and $\vec{\dot{u}}$ haven't necessarily the same direction. So why is correct to consider the previous equality?
$\dot{u}$ is not the magnitude of $\dot{\vec{u}}$, it is the derivative of the magnitude $u$.
$$\vec{u}\cdot\vec{u}=u^2$$
$$\frac{d}{dt}\vec{u}\cdot\vec{u}=2\,\vec{u}\cdot\dot{\vec{u}}$$
$$\frac{d}{dt}u^2=2\,u\dot{{u}}$$
| stackexchange/physics |
The Sovereign Award for Outstanding Apprentice Jockey is a Canadian Thoroughbred horse racing honour. Created in 1975 by the Jockey Club of Canada, it is part of the Sovereign Awards program and is awarded annually to a jockey undergoing their apprenticeship.
Honourees:
1975 : Jeffrey Fell
1976 : Chris Loseth
1977 : Brad Smythe
1978 : Ron Hansen
1979 : Ray Creighton
1980 : Valerie Thompson
1981 : Richard Dos Ramos
1982 : Richard Dos Ramos
1983 : Robert King
1984 : Robert King
1985 : Nancy Jumpsen
1986 : Todd Kabel
1987 : James McAleney
1988 : James McAleney
1989 : Maree Richards
1990 : Mickey Walls
1991 : Mickey Walls †
1992 : Stanley Bethley
1993 : Constant Montpellier
1994 : Dave Wilson
1995 : Dave Wilson
1996 : Neil Poznansky †
1997 : Rui Pimentel
1998 : Helen Vanek
1999 : Ben Russell
2000 : Cory Clark
2001 : Chantal Sutherland
2002 : Chantal Sutherland
2003 : Julia Brimo
2004 : Corey Fraser
2005 : Emma-Jayne Wilson †
2006 : Emma-Jayne Wilson
2007 : Tyler Pizarro
2008 : Janine Stianson
2009 : Omar Moreno
2010 : Omar Moreno
2011 : Ryan Pacheco
2012 : Scott Williams
2013 : Skye Chernetz
2014 : Sheena Ryan
2015 : Erika Smilovsky
2016 : Kayla Pizarro
2017 : Rey Williams
2018 : Kazushi Kimura
2019 :
A † denotes a jockey who also won that year's United States Eclipse Award for Outstanding Apprentice Jockey.
See also
Sovereign Award for Outstanding Jockey
References
Category:Canadian jockeys
Category:Horse racing awards
Category:Horse racing in Canada | wikipedia |
Iodine Titration with Free SO2 in wine
To determine the free $\ce{SO2}$ in wine, a common method used is called the Ripper Titration Method.
The equation is as follows: $$\ce{SO2 (aq) + I2 (aq) + 2H2O (l) -> 4H+ (aq) + SO4^2- (aq) + 2I- (aq)}$$
This method involves titrating an Iodine solution into a sample of wine. I have found that triiodide is made from reacting $\ce{I-}$ with $\ce{I2}$. However, if it is the triiodide we are titrating, how is the iodine reacting with the wine?
Is it triiodide ($\ce{I3-}$) that is being titrated with the wine sample or iodine ($\ce{I2}$)?
Reaction goes along the lines $\ce{3 I2 -> 2 I3- -> 6 I-}$. The beginning of titration is $\ce{I2}$. The end of titration is $\ce{I-}$. $\ce{I3-}$ forms as an intermediate, but it can be ignored in titration.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Elachista coalita is a moth of the family Elachistidae first described by Lauri Kaila in 2011. It is found in south-eastern Australia, including the Australian Capital Territory, New South Wales and Tasmania.
The wingspan is 6.2-8.1 mm for males and 7-7.2 mm for females. The forewings are pale grey for males and black with a bronzy sheen and four white markings for females. The hindwings are grey.
The larvae feed on Joycea pallida. They mine the leaves of their host plant. The mine is straight and gradually widens. It reaches a length of about 200 mm. The frass is deposited in a dense block in the rear of the mine. Pupation takes place outside of the mine on either a leaf or a twig of the host plant.
References
Category:Moths described in 2011
coalita
Category:Moths of Australia | wikipedia |
Dragon Age 1. Knowledge
W/N - Thanks so much for the input to do some further backstory chapters between Ostagar and Haven. This piece fits into the Vengeance story just around the time of the Elric Maraigne chapter. Like Tea, Incense and the Sea, I'm going to do this first person. Many thanks to Roxfox, EE, Ygrain, Thug, and Hubs for their support and input. I also highly recomment Roxfox's and Ygrain's wonderful fics too. Let's look at Flemeth now. I always got a creepy kick out of how she would refer to herself in the third person. CODEX - Honey Pot - pot for human waste.
Other malarkey - running off those holiday calories. My new Iaito will likely be the Ise blade from the Token Mino site online. It is a custom weapon and I am looking at the Kiyomitsu Hamon (wavy pattern at the cutting edge) and Yagyu tsuba (guard), aqua handle wrap and brown saya (scabbard). Just as a memorial to be dead sword I'm going to write in someone's blade breaking traumatically.
Please enjoy and suggestions are most welcomed.
**The Korcari Wilds - just prior to the Battle of Ostagar**
My daughter's words of the progress of our little forest party give me hope. It is amusing to hear her speak of the scurrying and the scrabbling of these people, who call themselves Grey Wardens. I suppose that their cause is…I can't quite find the word for it for it falls short of _just_. I'd long since given up on that word. Still, their visit to my humble abode gave me pause. I was impressed by the female, the one called Alice. She seemed to know things beyond her years. She will be useful.
In contrast, Morrigan is so naïve and simplistic in her view of these things that fall beyond the borders of the Wilds. I wonder if it was a mistake to keep her so cloistered. She would hiss at me if I told her that she is just as much a prisoner as a Chantry sister is. She knows nothing of friendship. She knows nothing of men. I know she sneaks off into some of the surrounding villages and sometimes all the way up to that insignificant spot of dirt known as Lothering. I have to laugh. She thinks that Flemeth doesn't know.
If only Morrigan knew the truth, that disrespectful smile of hers would fly away like a bird. There are times that I want to care…want to actually think of her as a daughter, but I must remind myself that she is only a tool, no more than a pot or a kettle. She has kept her young body fit though and she is oh, so beautiful, much like Flemeth used to be…and shall be again.
As a chilly evening descends, I see a doe trot up to my squalid hut and I know that it is she. She paws her hoof on the ground and snorts, giving her ever-present subtle defiance of me. I watch as the doe's fur and skin ripple and undulate, rapidly changing into human skin and Chasind clothing. "Ah, Morrigan, did you have fun in the Wilds with your friends?" I ask, mocking her lack of companionship.
She rolls her eyes and sighs as always. She thinks that I don't expect this from her. Flemeth has seen this juvenile behavior for centuries from many daughters long before Morrigan was even a gleam in some Chasind man's eye. Flemeth knows her every move…her every thought before she even knows it herself. "_Friends_?" she says as if she is speaking of the contents of a honey pot. "Oh, mother, your comedy never ceases to amuse me."
I have to admit that I am curious. I am old and wise enough to know that my fate is tied to the fate of the Wardens. Should they fail, the whole of Thedas could be swallowed by the Blight. I have seen the gathering of Darkspawn in the rifts and valleys of the Wilds. They are like a tidal wave that will crash down upon Ferelden and drown its people. Even the one called Duncan doesn't know the full extent of the threat. I have no wish to die, which is why I am doing what I am doing. "Morrigan, if you wish to play some more, do it later. Tell me of the Wardens, dear," I say without the emotion tied to such a personal label.
She raises a knowing eyebrow – we both understand the joke. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I wonder if she does know. But no, it is just my imagination. Morrigan is far too smug in her tiny world view to realize the truth. "Dear mother, you would be pleased to know that the army, or whatever they are, is ready for battle. There is talk of the Darkspawn attacking tonight."
So, I was right. The fate of nations will be decided soon. I really care not, but I do care if Flemeth survives. I will need to take a close look. "Ah, wonderful. Remain here, Morrigan. I will see to this myself now."
She forces a grin, the muscles in her face tensing in all the wrongs spots to be genuine. "Lovely. I'll have a sweet porridge awaiting your return. Lots of raisins, just as you like it."
I snort out a chuckle, which grows into a cackle, causing Morrigan to step back. It's well she should as I spread my arms and tap into the vast reservoir of power that is Flemeth. My body grows and feathers spring from my skin as my feet curl into talons. Morrigan steps back again, a hint of fear shadowing her face. I enjoy seeing her eyes bulge and her jaw drop as I tower over her now, wings unfurled. She knows nothing of true power.
With a cry I take to the air, stroking my wings downward to push the air behind me. I am free once more, soaring into the gathering darkness. Just past sunset I can see the fires in the distance, flickering torches that make for an orange ocean of flame. That may be the entire world soon if something is not done. I circle in the black sky, well above the prying eyes of both human and Darkspawn, watching and waiting. Time goes by and then the creatures of the Deep Roads attack and arrows pour into them. It is a scene that Flemeth knows well, war and death. This play never changes. The king's pikemen drive into the shattered horde and scatter them like leaves in a gale. But, it is not over. Flemeth knows this.
With the eyes of an eagle, I search the army for the ones I met earlier. They must survive. I need them. As the Darkspawn horde advances again, many times the force of the first attack, I realize that I cannot find them and I grow worried. I care not for this king or his minions…there will always be kings and minions, but I must have these Wardens. The new assault is met by waves of Mabari hounds. They are fierce and powerful beasts, but they will fail. Howls, snarls, shrieks and the braying of dogs echoes through the valley leading to Ostagar and I watch as the Darkspawn break through. Arrows fall like rain, but the horde presses on. Monstrous creatures hurl boulders into the ranks of men, scattering them like toys. A rock crashes into the king's guard, knocking his captain senseless.
Waves crash upon the wall of steel and wood, eroding it like a sand castle. The king rides in, brave as many kings are brave, skilled as many kings are skilled. This will not help him. Flemeth knows this. He is unhorsed as members of his guard fall around him. He falls back, hewing and slicing around him, leaving a mound of dead in his wake. He tries to reform his line and rally his troops, but they are dissolving like paper in a pool of water. Uncounted minutes pass and the king makes his way back to where the captain of his guard is reviving. Then, I see it, a scuffle on the nearby tower. I see a handful of people charging into a group of Darkspawn that includes a massive ogre. The brute sweeps two of the king's soldiers over the battlements of the tower, but Alice slices it across the throat and then drives the tip of her sword into its open mouth, silencing its scream. Good for her. She will help to ensure my survival. I bend one wing and dive towards the tower as a blazing beacon is lit.
As I close in, I can see a huge part of the king's army retreat without even having offered battle. Treachery perhaps? This was ever so in the hearts of men for as long as Flemeth has known them. I see the king fall, followed by the one called Duncan. His army breaks. I must hurry.
Darkspawn surge up onto the tower and the one called Alistair meets them, hewing two of them before they can gain a foothold. A black arrow flies and sinks into Alice's chest and she falls back, clutching at the wound, her helm clattering on the ground. Am I too late?
Alistair moves to protect the fallen girl, holding his shield over her as arrows _thunk_ on it, perforating it like a pincushion. I swoop in, flapping my wings, swirling the air atop the tower. Darkspawn are blown away, some skidding across the stone, some falling over the tower's edge to their death below. I seize the two Wardens in my talons and soar off into the night. Alice is weak, she is bleeding, but she is alive. She will serve my purpose and I will be once again young and beautiful as I have been many times before. Flemeth knows this.
2. Ignorance
W/N - Many thanks again! I totally had to add poor Cyrano in and in a bit of a humorous way. Like any mother/daughter relationship, Flemeth only _thinks_ she knows all there is to know. So, let's take a look at Morrigan. I wanted to paint her as a lonely girl, full of bravado, but lacking a lot of social skills and empathy. Sort of an out of control homeschooling where she daydreams a lot. We'll look at Morrigan again before the confrontation with Flemeth.
Other malarkey - We went to the Japanese Culture Faire. There was a demonstration of kyudo - zen archery as well as kendo. We sat in with the anime adventure club and manga bento fest, where I learned to draw a chibi usagi rabbit samurai. I am anxiously awaiting my new sword, which should be here on Wednesday. I lost a duel to sensei on Thursday, but won on Saturday, 5-3. I'm getting the feel of Mu Shin (no mind), which is like having the Force. :P You just feel ripples of energy along the blade and know what your opponent is going to do. Ei ei ei ooohhh! (samurai cheer)
**Flemeth's Hut - Night of the Battle of Ostagar**
My mother _thinks _she knows everything. Admittedly, she is very powerful and I envy that power. I have to sigh at the thought, but there are things I keep hidden deeply within me that she knows nothing of. I stir the pot of porridge with my old wooden spoon, one of the few things that I actually value in this squalid hut. I chuck in a few raisins and then a few more and churn the bubbly goo that simmers over a warm fire. Mother asked where I had gotten this favorite recipe of hers and I told her that a soldier in a passing caravan gave me this _grand delicacy_. T'is a truthful statement on its face.
I lift up a spoonful of the porridge and wave a finger over it, gathering a chill in the air to cool the mouthful for a taste. I have to chuckle at the seemingly inconsequential use of magic. Such a simple act t'would be branded as heresy by the mindless Chantry fools and the Circle stooges who think that they control every spell and incantation. They know nothing of true magic. If they had any inkling that I had used my foul apostate skills to avoid burning my tongue, there would be a horde of Templars knocking at the door of my hovel…if they could even find it past mother's glyphs.
I indulge myself in imagining the helmeted goons banging on the door and shouting, "Evil apostate witchy woman, we are the big strong Templar knights! Come out and face the Chantry's justice!"
I would go and open the way in and bat my eyelashes at them and gesture the brutes inside. "Oh dear, I, evil apostate witchy woman, have been caught cooling my porridge! You are surely doing the revered Maker's work and spending the Chantry's tithe sovereigns wisely. Can I interest you in also ransacking our shack? We have a moldy wolf pelt that no longer has any fur and a leaky wash tub. And…where was it now…my recipe booklet…ah, t'is here. I'm missing page two of my amazing stew, but just throw in a carrot and some parsley and you'll do fine."
Oh, I do so amuse myself. These flights of fancy do keep me sane. I sometimes catch myself talking to the wolf pelt as I feel that I should be talking to _someone_. "T'is not such a bad thing, is it?" I say to the scraggly, hairless skin lying on the floor. I imagine myself a player in one of those Lothering productions, crowds laughing at my witty repartee. I bow to applause.
With a snort, I roll my eyes and release the image back into the Fade. Mother would have my head if she knew I was doing anything other than catering to her and studying her lessons. I taste the blob of goo at the end of the spoon and I have to smile. It brings back a memory that I escape to from time to time. Ever since mother taught me to shape shift I have found myself further afield, wandering the woods and hills, learning of the animals and watching the people. I suspect that mother knows I have done this, but I have been careful about other things. I like to think that I am quite daring in this.
I think about how I learned this recipe not so long ago. I had just mastered shifting into the shape of a bear and was watching the slow progress of a caravan heading to Lothering. At first, I was too cautious to approach very closely, the memory of mother's rebuke at the bauble I _acquired_ still fairly fresh in my mind. But curiosity got the better of me and I turned myself into a cat, sneaking along on silent paws behind the ox carts and mounted guards. They talked about being afraid of the Chasind or the Dalish. T'is always about fear with these people. I suppose that if you oppress or torment a people like the elves for long enough you should be afraid of them. I twitched my whiskers at how none of these folk would ever know any sense of freedom.
I vividly recall one man among the caravan, who did not seem afraid and that intrigued me. I'd seen far too many skittish men who really should have been deer or squirrels if their inner selves were manifested in their outer form. But this one was different. I had to find out why. They passed another caravan and I saw my chance. New people mixed in with old and, with a thought, I grew back into a woman, standing on two feet. I emerged from behind a wagon and strode in as if I belonged there. A smile and a wink earned me the ability to walk around without any suspicion. Then, there he was, the captain of the guard, sitting in front of a pot of porridge on his fire, honing his sword. Without looking up, he asked if I was lost and I told him no. For the first time since my mother destroyed the pretty golden mirror I felt my skin flush and my heart skip a beat. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I sensed that it was beneficial this time. It was good that the man knew what I wanted without all of the awkward conversation. Perhaps I still had too much of the cat within me. I did get the recipe for the porridge too.
I lean back in my chair and sigh at the memory. I am certain that mother knows nothing of those moments for surely I would incur her wrath if she did. It brings me a strange sense of power to know that I have kept something hidden from her, no matter how inconsequential. I notice that the porridge is now of the perfect, runny consistency that mother loves. I wave my hand and the fire dies.
As if on cue, I hear the _thrum_ of giant wings flapping in the night. I rush to the door and open it just as mother lands, her form still shifted into that of an enormous bird, much larger than our hovel. She hovers for a moment, gently setting down a man and a woman from her talons. I then see a Mabari hound, its jaw firmly attached to mother's tail feathers. I have to chuckle at this comical sight as the hound lets go and mother settles her claws onto the ground.
The man thrashes about and jumps to his feet as mother shrinks back into human form, feathers absorbing back into her skin. She rubs her behind and cackles at the dog. "Strong grip you have there, my friend."
The man removes his helmet and I recognize him – the fool from the forest. He is afraid and powerless like all the rest…I can see it in his face, that terrified look that a mouse gets when a cat strikes. He staggers back and falls on his behind, raising his hands as if to ward off a blow from mother. How pathetic. Only the dog shows any nerve.
Instead of rending the man's bowels as she should, mother kneels over the woman, whom I also recognize from the forest. The woman, a Grey Warden, was the only one who didn't squeal like a frightened pig when I confronted them near that chest. Now, the Warden lies still, a black shafted arrow buried into her chest up to the fletchings. Mother presses her palm onto the woman's chest and a green light glows at her touch. The Warden gasps.
"Morrigan, don't just stand there," mother says in a chastising tone. "Snap off the arrowhead so I can pull the shaft out. Be quick about it."
The man, who I believe is named Armister or Ballister or something, merely sits there, gawking, while his leader lies bleeding. I should have expected no more from him. I grasp the wood just behind the arrowhead and break it sharply. Mother heaves with both hands and the stub disappears back into the woman's leather armor. The girl bucks her hips upward, gurgling up blood and tries to grasp my tunic with red stained fingers. Mother and I settle her back down and mother's hands glow green once again. The hound whimpers, worried for his mistress' life no doubt.
"Help me get her inside," I am told and we lift the Warden up in our arms. Only then does Armblister deign to help us. We rush into the shack and set the woman down…on my bed. I sigh. T'would be best if I make the floor comfortable by the fire for now. Mother doesn't need to tell me what to do – I immediately point to the smoldering embers of the stove and a fire blazes anew. I fill a pot with water and set it next to the cooling porridge. I pull out a roll of cloth and begin cutting bandages.
Mother and I work together like two wolves on the hunt, perfectly in synch. Hands moving in a coordinated flurry, we pull her leather breastplate off, tear her tunic, and spread a plaster over the girl's wound just as bandages are wrapped around her. Mother's hands glow orange now and she presses them down on the woman's chest, easing her breathing into a deep slumber. "The worst has passed. She will live and, thanks to my power, won't even have a scar."
Mother glances at me and grins. For a brief moment, I feel this thing others have called…_closeness._ I am speechless.
"Will she be alright?" the man asks. Didn't mother just answer that question? My opinion of Alkeester doesn't improve. Mother nods and he sinks to the floor, putting a hand over his eyes. He begins to shake and I see water running down his face. I got the back of mother's hand when that happened to me…years ago and it was the last time. The people, they call those…tears…a sign of weakness.
"What is the matter?" I ask. "Beyond a few scratches, you aren't even _wounded_. If anything, the dog should be more distressed than you and look at him, sitting attentively at his mistress' bed, ever alert."
Alistair…yes, that's his name…Alistair chokes and wipes snot from his nose. His face is red and puffy. "I am _not _wounded. Our army was destroyed, we were betrayed and our king was slain. Is that not enough for you?"
"Oh, well, t'is in the past now. Perhaps you would like some porridge? I prefer it more globby, but mother likes it runny-"
He slams his fist into the wall. "Porridge? I don't want any porridge! My…I…Duncan…."
I shake my head. The man is not making any sense. Hot porridge would be a welcome meal on this cold night. I try to appeal to his sense of reason. "It has raisins. Mmmm…_raisins_," I say slowly as if to a slow child.
"You just don't get it do you? You just don't know! My mentor, the man who taught me…befriended me…is dead, slaughtered by the Darkspawn and betrayed by the very people who swore to fight by our side."
I step back and snort. So, this is gratitude for saving them? Perhaps it is better that I don't know. Perhaps, ignorance is indeed bliss.
3. Slumber
W/N - A warm arigato gozaimasu again. I'm going to try something just a bit different. This will be told as a flashback from Morrigan's POV and we'll pick up at the Tower going into the Fade. I'm going to take just a bit of artistic license here in how she responds to the what happens to the Circle and in the Fade. I hope that the contempt that she shows for certain things shows through, but also a little of her vulnerability. I think we'll tackle more of the Fade next.
Other malarkey - I slowed down a bit for a crazy work schedule. I am still waiting on my new sword, still using my old one that is now too light and too short. I'll have to write a scene where someone's sword breaks and they get that oh, sh*t moment of just holding a handle. I also want to do one with Mikhail Dryden (Soldier's Peak DLC) and the forging of a sword. Being the geek that I am, I named my favorite shinai, Starfang.
Please enjoy and, by all means, let me know of any suggestions or ideas.
**The Circle Tower - After the Cleansing of Redcliffe.**
I have always considered myself confident and self reliant, one who could survive on her own wits and put fools to shame. Today, the Tower has shaken that belief. In order to save the pathetic Arl Eamon and his dolt of a son, I came with the Grey Wardens, thinking that I would just scoff at the plight of the mage sheep here and play out my antipathy with the Templars. However, I found great and terrible power here, much to my surprise. I had seen death and destruction before, after the Battle of Ostagar, but the vile horrors here made my skin crawl. T'was as if the very walls themselves were made of decaying flesh and oozing sores filled with feeding maggots. Though a cold pit grew in my gut, I put on a brave face. I could not show the Wardens that I had any fear or they might not respect my power and that would be dangerous.
But, let me tell you how it all began a few days ago. After clearing Redcliff Castle of the droll undead, I kept my cool sense of insouciance the whole ride up to the Tower, even enduring the mindless chatter between that stupid former Templar and that blathering Chantry girl. If she were to speak of shoes and ribbons once more, I swore, I would have electrocuted her. Then, that big, yappy mutt of the Warden's…he just had to put a dead chicken in my unmentionables…. A gift, Alice said. I'll gift that dog's mouth shut if he doesn't stop barking at night. At least that Qunari, Sten, knew how to keep his mouth closed and mind his own business. I liked that. And Alice too…. I think that she understands true power. She wields her sword with single-minded determination for vengeance and lets nothing stand in her way. I believe I can find respect for that.
So, we arrived at the lake and entered the tower, only to find Templars cowering in the corner like children. T'was amusing to watch them quiver in terror. Maybe they could gain _some_ empathy for the lives they snuffed out merely because someone _might_ want to cool some porridge without a helmeted goon looking over their shoulder. But, somehow, I doubted it. Then, that Greagoir fellow went on and on about how the mages were all dead and about rites and other meaningless things. In essence, he was going to cleanse the Tower. Now, I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for the mage sheep that reside here, but they should at least be given the chance to live and run away at some point. I'm not a heartless shrew, you know.
I was impressed when Alice backed him down and we were _allowed_ to retake the Tower. Not that he could have stopped us, mind you. And, the fact that not one Templar volunteered to accompany us solidified my opinion of them – little people in suits of armor that are far too big for them. So, we sauntered on in to find an old woman and a bunch of children fending off a demon. I watched for a moment to see the old woman's technique. I could grudgingly admit that she wielded some power and she flattened the demon into the floor with a sweep of her staff. When we approached, she seemed suspicious, but wisely accepted our offer of help. The mage, Wynne, seemed the sort that will grow to annoy me, but for now, I shall consider her an ally.
Wynne led us up through the Tower where we encountered a man, still alive and unharmed by the rampage around him. This man, Owain, was like a talking statue, no more than an animated corpse. In a zombie-like monotone, he droned on about some Niall and a book. I asked him what was wrong with him and he told me he was a…Tranquil, a lobotomized freak from the sounds of it. I would hurl myself off of a cliff if such a thing should happen to me, but from what he said, I t'wouldn't care at that point. Wynne gave me a disapproving look when I turned my nose up at him. Yes, she will annoy me.
The way up through the Tower brought a few satisfying frays. We abolished an abomination and rended a revenant. My personal favorite was when I infected the mind of a blood mage and caused him to run out of the window of the tower. T'is a long way down.
But, from then on, the way became increasingly uncomfortable, like teeth that are clenched too tightly. T'was as if there were the sound of roaches constantly scurrying beneath the floor, skittering and chittering and I could not shake the feeling of dread that was building with every passing step.
T'wasn't that I was unnerved by any of the demons or silly abominations that the mage sheep had become because they were distracted when heating water…t'was the Fade. Let me explain here. We came upon a Sloth Demon, a grotesque caricature of a person that seemed to be a pulpy mass of scaly and rubbery flesh with sleepy eyes. It stood over a man that lay at its feet, holding a book. T'was that the book that the zombie man spoke of?
My mind immediately grasped a spear from a statue and I thought to impale the demon with my magic, but my vision became hazy as it spoke. His words resonated through my head and the weapon clattered to the ground. I shook my head, but cotton seemed to fill my ears and my mouth. Though I could hear the demon's voice, I could barely understand him as I sagged to my knees. That fool, Alistair, toppled over and began snoring while Cyrano whimpered and settled down on his hindquarters from his fearsome stance. Even the great Sten leaned against the wall and then slumped over, cradling his massive sword. Nearby, Wynne and Leliana was already dozing…no wonder there. I tried to get up, but it felt as if I were wearing the heavy armor that encased the warriors. Ahead of me, Alice stumbled, the metal of her poleynes and greaves _clanging_ on the floor. She looked at me as if to ask something, but her eyes rolled back into her head and she slid to the ground. Ah, I had the satisfaction of being the last to succumb to this dirty trick. That satisfaction soon faded as I felt the cold tiles pressing on my cheek. All became dark.
Then, I felt fine. T'was as if I had woken from a gentle nap on a summer day. I _knew_ that something t'was amiss, but I couldn't quite place it. I was back in my bed, but the sheets were fine cotton and warm. I narrowed my eyes and looked around to find myself in our measly shack, but the pelts were fresh and clean and I could smell a rich broth bubbling on the stove. I know the Fade…I have been there many times and, as a mage, can maintain my wits there. But, this was different somehow. I felt…good.
"Ah, you're awake, dear daughter," a voice said from the shadows. I began to formulate my usual sarcastic response, but this voice, the voice of my mother, was kind and without guile.
"I…uhhh, yes, I am." I thought the cautious approach best and slowly placed my feet on the floor. It felt real enough.
Flemeth emerged from the darkness and her eyes were full of light with a smile on her lips. I almost laughed from the ludicrousness of the image, but I found I could not. I…liked seeing her this way. She sat on my bed, next to me and held out a bowl of hearty broth, which I took with a little wariness. I took a sip and found that it was not too hot and not too cold, but just right. I turned to see Flemeth still smiling, not a hint of deception behind it. She ran a hand down my face to cup my chin. No one had ever touched me that way, not even the captain of the caravan that I now kept hidden away in my mind. No one had ever looked into my eyes with any warmth or a reassurance that nothing was wanted from me where all I needed to do was exist and I would be appreciated. I was speechless. Every fiber of my being screamed for me to run into the wilds, change into a bird and fly away, but my head slowly slid into the crook of my mother's neck and I closed my eyes and let her stroke my hair.
4. Illusion
W/N - A hearty arigato gozaimasu! I'm having fun writing Morrigan and Flemeth. Let's shift back to another POV to fill out the Tower. As EE suggested, I'm going to take an entirely different view on what happens rather than go to Weisshaupt. As usual, this story arc will be longer than I expected if I'm going to do it justice. I'll have some notes at the end so as not to spoil the chapter. This pickes up immediately after the last Morrigan falls asleep.
Other malarkey - Because I am a total geek, I've been making Dragon Age icons, which I'll put up on my LJ site. I've got fCousland, Leliana, Morrigan, Wynne, Alistair, Oghren, Loghain, Anora and Eamon so far. I got a little crazy and did one of Eamon driving a tricked out lowrider and Oghren dunking a basketball too. We learned the last four katachi ( sets) of the Eishin Ryu Iaido school. They are fast and crisp paired sets, using wooden bokken, where you trade attacks and parries with a partner. Masayuki Shimabukuro Sensei has some excellent examples of this on YouTube.
So, please enjoy and I am very grateful for input and ideas.
**Illusion**
I clear my head with a shake and blink my eyes. Faint images of another existence flit about in my head before they begin to fade. I try to hold onto them – a tower of mages, grotesque creatures, a sultry demoness holding a Templar in thrall. I wipe crusty flecks from my eyes and realize that it's just a bad dream. _Now_, I am awake.
A man with a familiar smile leans over me and extends a helping hand. "We have him cornered, little sister. He cannot escape this time."
I stop for a moment as I focus on Fergus' face. At first, I have no memory of how I got here or even where I am. Then, visions of my rescuing my brother from the Wilds and our pursuit of Teyrn Loghain coalesce and I remember that we are in Denerim and that Leliana found us a secret entrance into the palace so that we might have our vengeance upon him. "I have waited so long for this."
Fergus pulls me up onto my feet and clenches his teeth in a grimace. "And he will face the same fate that we visited upon Arl Howe. You were wise to send that bastard to the gallows and deny him the death of a noble through the headsman's axe."
Raw energy surges through my body as if I had just taken a drink from a font of strength and willpower. I feel renewed and full of purpose. I have lived for nothing but seeing the men behind my family's destruction, themselves destroyed. "And Loghain will be no different. I have kept a hangman's noose in my pack just for such an occasion." I can still see Rendon Howe dancing at the end of my rope, his eyes bulging and his tongue swelling. Somehow though, the vision seems forced. I can't quite understand why. I recall putting the noose around the traitor's neck as surely as I can see Fergus standing here before me. No matter, we are here now and the end is at hand. Not even the Archdemon can deny me my vengeance.
Fergus hands me my cuirass and helps me to strap on the numerous pieces of armor that define my harness. With every metal plate that goes on my body I grow in power and resolution as if my very life force feeds some entity beyond my understanding. Whatever it may be, it can devour my very soul if it means that Loghain will not live out the day. I pull on my silverite covered gauntlets as my brother straps our family sword to my hip. He places his hand on my shoulder and grips gently. "Fear not, little sister, we will see justice." Like me now, his easy-going manner is gone, replaced by a fierce and unyielding fire that would consume all of Ferelden if left unchecked.
I nod and adjust the bevor protecting my throat. I pick up my polished silver helmet and ask, "Where is Leliana? We should get going."
Leli enters with my Mabari hound and she waves us over to the door. There is something odd about my Orlesian companion though. I stop to observe her and her hair is longer than I remember and she has a harder edge to her. I try to compare her to the image that I have in my mind, but it's fuzzy. Last I seem to recall, we were in a tower somewhere and she's glad I decided not to kill the mages. But, was that the dream I was having?
With Cyrano leading the way, we journey through a cellar and into the Royal Palace where Loghain has usurped the Crown. Like Howe, he will have no one to blame but himself for setting in motion a series of events that will lead to his doom. We come to the cellar door which Leliana easily picks open and we make our way stealthily through the kitchens, which oddly seem empty.
We near the entryway into the throne room and I can hear his booming voice, full of bombastic rhetoric about saving Ferelden…rubbish. It is _he_ that would destroy us all. I can feel every muscle in my body tense with quiet rage and anticipation now. This is all that I have wished for and, be it Maker or demon that brought me here, my blessings upon him. I move ahead of Fergus and crouch down to get a view into the room. I can see him now, the fiend, still droning on about his service and experience. I feel a spark in my gut that quickly grows into a flame in my heart. The intensity of my hate is so fierce that my vision grows dim for a moment and I see a ghostly image before me, a strange caricature of a man, with pulpy, scaly flesh that makes my skin crawl. I gasp and blink and the image vanishes. The creature is now gone, but I swear, it was feeding off of me…my anger and my rage, fueling its being.
Now is not the time to ponder on strange magics though and I survey the room to ensure that we are not walking into a trap. Leliana nods, telling me that the way is free from any pits or snares. There are several guards present, including his precious Ser Cauthrien. Perhaps I may be merciful enough to let her pay the headsman rather than swing from the gallows. Like Morrigan has announced, I am not a heartless shrew. Seeing no one else in the throne room, the opportunity is perfect now as if someone had set all of this up. Something screams a warning in the back of my head, but I am driven to this fate. I cannot turn back.
I signal Leliana to nock and arrow and take out the guard nearest to Loghain. She fires and the gull-feathered shaft flies true and into the throat of the soldier. His hands immediately come to his neck as he gurgles blood and sinks to his knees. I snap my fingers and Cyrano darts into the room, his fangs bared. He leaps onto another guard, knocking the man to the ground. I charge in to the sound of snarls and tearing flesh.
Fergus moves to take Cauthrien while I drive straight in for the foul heart of this treachery, Teyrn Loghain. Emerging from behind my shield, I swing the Cousland sword in a downward arc at his naked head, but Loghain is fast for a man his age and size. He dodges under my cut and grabs the handle of his big sword. I know he has to draw to defend himself and Master Aedan taught me how to deal with such moves. The draw must come from his left side so I shift to his right, just outside of the strength of his oncoming cut. As his sword clears the scabbard, I am ready and I deflect it downward with my own blade. The ring of steel pierces the room and I redirect my weapon to cut at his groin.
Loghain is an experienced swordsman and he does not fall for such a beginner's attack. He scoops his arms upward, sweeping my cut over his shoulder and wheels around in a circle, gathering momentum for his riposte. I barely have time to bring my shield up before I feel the jarring impact of his blow shivering through the wood and up my arm. My training drives me forward and I lower my head to rush into him, hurling him back with the force of my charge. We both grunt with the effort, but I realize that I've made a mistake. I feel the pommel of his sword crash down onto my helmet and my head reels in pain. I'm forced to stagger back and throw a weak cut out to distract him. But, that is another mistake.
Loghain shifts his sword again and deflects my attack into the ground. Before I can react, he steps on the flat of my blade and it snaps in the middle. A cold sense of horror shoots through my veins as I pull back the jagged shards of silverite that spring from the handle of my weapon. The Teyrn smirks, fueling my rage and hate. He makes his move to finish me.
I see his sword cock backwards for a moment before sweeping down at me. It's all moving in slow motion now and my body acts on pure instinct, sliding me out of the way as I shove the shield right in his face. Another impact jars the wood, but one is good. I hear a pained grunt and I emerge from behind the shield again to rake the jagged metal edge of my broken blade across his cheek and nose. Loghain staggers, holding his face and I toss my sword aside to seize the armored gorget around his neck. I swivel my hips and sit, pulling him down over my head to crash into the ground at my feet. In a flash, my poignard is in my hand and at his eye. I cry out in anger, baring my teeth as Cyrano would. My vengeance is at hand.
As my rage surges through my blood, my vision blurs again and I see the demon before me…He was from the Tower. I think I recall now. His sleepy eye bids me to finish this act, to play out my vengeance and be done. I can see tendrils of energy flowing from my wrathful heart towards his face to be inhaled into his preternatural lungs. I realized that I am…his food.
Loghain wheezes beneath the point of my dagger. "You foolish bitch…," he says, spitting blood. "I should have killed you when I had the chance. I would have fed you to the hounds."
A fire wells up into my breast and my hand twitches, ready to send sharp steel into his brain, but this is not Loghain…the Teyrn is smart…calculating. This…this simulacrum is merely trying to provoke me.
"Kill him!" I hear Fergus shout.
"Kill him!" Leliana cries.
It all makes sense now. The demon is in my head. Yes, a Sloth Demon…I remember now. He barred the way through the Tower as we were attempting to save the Circle. Somehow, he knows my very fears and desires and he feeds on my energy as my body lies in slumber. But, today, he will have to find new food. I will kill Loghain one day, but not for the pleasure of this creature of the Fade. Perhaps my soul is worth more to me than vengeance. I laugh and step away from my fallen foe. "I will find you, demon."
The images of Loghain and my companions shimmer for a moment before dispersing into shadow. I hear a deep, throaty chuckle before the halls of the Royal Palace shift into a bizarre, impossible landscape of mist and floating islands. I see a man, dressed as a Circle mage, sitting forlornly in front of a stone pedestal. He looks familiar. Ah yes, the man lying at the feet of the demon.
He gazes up at me and shows no enthusiasm whatsoever. How strange. I thought he might be more excited at the prospect of rescue. "Oh, welcome, my name is Niall."
**W/N** - Having your blade broken is a really sucky feeling. I've had that in fencing too, but then, you get to stop and fetch a new blade. I finally got one of "maraging" steel, which supposedly can't be snapped. I also once had my favorite bamboo shinai shatter on my husband's helmeted head. Quite dramatic.
I hope to show a little enlightenment with the Warden in how her rage is working against her. I'm thinking about a chapter with Mikhail Dryden forging a sword. And, because I'm a total geek, I named one of my shinai, Starfang.
5. Contentment
W/N - Thanks again for the input and support! Let's look at another dreamer. I was making more silly Dragon Age icons too. I have an Anora, before and after the Landsmeet, assuming you depose her. I have one for the F Cousland too, one with Mabari hound and one with Mabari Chihuahua.
Other malarkey - I'm getting re-used to my old sword, lighter and 1/2" shorter, which forces me to not muscle the techniques or I overswing or bounce the sword because its so light. My new weapon is a couple of months away because it's being forged and hand made by some craftsman in Japan, so I'm told by the dealer. It will be interesting to go back to a heavier weapon.
Please enjoy and thank you again. :D
**The Fade**
It is everything I have ever dreamed of. The setting is perfect. The food is perfect. The children are…well, almost perfect. Granted, the home of a washer woman is not the Royal Palace of Denerim, but it's well kept and frankly, just plain quaint. I feel safe, safer than I have ever felt and I ask myself why I am wearing my armor. Hmmm, that makes no sense. I don't even recall putting my armor on now. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I quickly shed the pieces of metal covering my body and lay them on the ground. I won't need these.
I take a seat at the worn oak dining table and look at all of the nicks and scratches in the wood. It gives me such a homey feeling. Then, I hear the joyful squeals of young Nicholas and Tasha. They have been such a delight.
"Have another drink, brother," Goldanna says to me as she hands me a goblet of fruit juice. My sister is all that I have envisioned – kind, gentle, and loving. When I found out about her, I knew that I had to meet her one day. And then, there was this whole Darkspawn distraction that got in the way, preventing me from going to Denerim to meet her. I think for a moment. What ever happened to the war? Is it over now? I can't seem to remember.
I take the cup and thirstily gulp down the drink. Ahhh, the flavors are so incredible – a little tart and pulpy, just as I like it. I taste a little bit of apple in there too. Then, the scent of Cornish hen, roasting on an open flame, comes wafting into the room. I lean back and inhale the aroma like a starving man. This is the life I have always dreamed about. I can't believe that I was so worried about meeting Goldanna. I was almost paralyzed with fear that she would not like me. I agonized over telling Alice about my sister and asking if we might visit Denerim one day and seek Goldanna out. But, it seems to have all worked out.
I think again and wonder what happened to Alice. The image of her face in my mind seems fuzzy. Did she survive the war? She just seems to have disappeared. I do remember when I first saw her, back in Ostagar, so full of despair and completely disheveled. But then, we ventured into the Wilds and I saw a different person, grim and full of hate. Still, I could see something beneath all of the pain – a beautiful woman, caught up in the flood of war, trying to do what she thought was right. I wish she were still here. I'd like her to meet my sister.
And, there were others with us, I recall now. Alice had a dog…kind of a scary one too. Oh yeah, there was a mean, sarcastic apostate witch with us. Morrigan, yes, that was her name. Funny how I get her name right and she never remembers mine. Just being near that heartless shrew makes my skin crawl. And then, there was a big guy with us…a Qunari. Doesn't talk much, always wants to beat me up. And finally, a sweet Chantry sister, now, she's a talker. She has a wonderful singing voice. I could sleep to that every night. What ever happened to them? We were…we were in a tower somewhere.
Childlike giggling interrupts my thoughts and Nicholas and Tasha scramble up into my lap as Goldanna laughs gleefully. The two kids wriggle around like worms and tug on my collar playfully.
"Don't you just adore the children, Alistair," my sister says.
I let out a deep chuckle and wrap the two up in my arms to the sound of their squeals. "Oh, ho ho, uncle Alistair has you!" I growl as I nuzzle my face in their tiny chests. As they squirm in my grasp I raise my head with a contented sigh. Surely, I didn't deserve such happiness, but I wasn't going to complain. Still, the nagging thoughts about my friends wouldn't go away. I turn to Goldanna. "Do you know what happened to the people I was with? I can't seem to remember. There was a young woman who was leading us. I'd like to find her and invite her to visit some day."
My sister smiles and touches my cheek. There was something sinister in her expression though that makes my skin prickle. "Oh her…," she says, tilting her head as if thinking. "Yes, she will be joining us. That you can be sure of."
I wasn't sure whether to be pleased or disturbed. It was the way in which Goldanna spoke that seemed…seemed odd, as if something nefarious was planned. I was going to say something further when Nicholas tugs at the patch of hair on my chin.
"Uncle Alistair, play with us!"
"Yes, play with us!" Tasha adds.
I look down into their cherubic faces, but I saw a darkness that clouded their smiles and their eyes seemed to radiate a red glow that made me want to bolt up. I feel Goldanna's hand press me back down into the seat with an unnatural strength. I gasp and wince at her grip and feel as if something is draining me of will and life. I turn back to face her and, for a moment, I see her image twist into that of a monster, bloated and scaly. The creature smiles at me for a moment before it reverts back to my blonde-haired sister. Goldanna places a dish with a finely roasted hen before me, its skin crackled brown and covered in a rich cranberry sauce. The aroma of the meal fills my senses and the picture of the creature in my mind quickly fades as does any will to leave.
"Ahhh," I say as I tear off a drumstick from the hen, "you are the finest cook in all of Ferelden. You just knew what my favorite dish would be." I lick my lips in anticipation.
Goldanna strokes my hair. "I know everything that you want, Alistair, and you shall have it all."
6. Duty
W/N - Ok, let's take another look at Sten. My first playthrough I let him die in Lothering. I did not like him my second playthrough, but he really grew on me the next time around. I enjoy exploring the Qunari culture and putting some of the nuances of it into the story. I'm still looking to do a Mikhail Dryden or Master Wade story with some forging. "Oh, Herren, you do vex me!" And, there's a little tongue in cheek nod to Mass Effect. I realized that there is a Sten in ME2 as there is an Anora. Speaking of which, I am formulating a post Normandy destruction story.
Many thanks for visiting and please enjoy. Input and suggestions are always most welcome. Leliana or Wynne might be up next.
**Duty**
I am caught in a swirling darkness like a vast whirlpool. At first, I struggle to free myself, but then I realize that whatever fate the _Qun_ has for me, it is something that I should accept. I do not know if I will perish, but I must embrace my destiny.
_Shok ebasit hissra…_the tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. There is nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the _Qun._
I close my eyes and exhale as the vortex spins around me. Live or die, I have already won.
The feeling of vertigo fades slowly and I crack my eyes open, wondering where I have been swept to. I try to remember where I had just been, but the images are faint. I picture a tower and a lake. I can see the face of a woman in my head – she has black hair, something unknown among the Qunari. She is human. I remember that my respect for the humans is not great, but this one is different. She fights with a fire and a skill that is rare, even among my kind.
Through my squinted eyes I now see freshly trimmed grass and I stand amid a strange and alien city with white walls made of some unknown material. It has an order to it similar to the domains of Par Vollen and Seheron. I feel some comfort here as the _Qun_ professes an order to all things and all things have their place in the world. The humans, the elves, and the dwarves fail to understand this, which is why the _Kithshok_, or commander of the Qunari armies, must one day bring them enlightenment, by the sword if necessary. They will understand and they will embrace as they should.
Then, there is movement in the empty city and I begin to see figures walking about, translucent at first, as if they are spirits, but they solidify and I see that they are human. One of them, a man with a weather-beaten face and a mustache, nods to me. "Sten."
I do not know him and wonder how it is that he knows me. I do not respond and he walks past me without a smile. I turn, about to ask him where I am and how we know each other, but I hear screams in the distance. In a moment, panicked people begin to run past me as the mustached man dashes for an open door. I see a dark cloud on the horizon that quickly blooms into a swarm of large flying insects. I reach for my sword, but the creatures are upon me, blackening out the sky like a plague of locusts. I swat one with my hand and then feel a sting on my neck. A second later my muscles tighten and I fall to the ground, unable to move, except for my eyes.
I see the man at the door, flailing his arms. "They got Lilith! They got Sten too!" he shouts and then shuts the door, sealing himself inside a building. The swarm passes, but I am paralyzed. I see the frozen forms of dozens of people lying around me, each of us captives in our own bodies. Then, man-sized creatures, as grotesque as the Darkspawn, enter the scene and begin to put the bodies into pods. What horror is this? One of them, a giant gray insect with a massive head and many tiny eyes, looks down at me. I am at his mercy. I cannot imagine a worse fate. He laughs and, for a moment I see the insect creature shimmer to be replaced by a dark being with scaly, pulpy skin - The demon from the tower. Now I remember.
The demon stoops over me and shuts my eyes with his hand. "I am sorry, Sten. I meant to send you to a better place. Rest easy now," he says in a slow, slothful tone. "You have had your victory. Return now to the _Beresaad_ and find the embrace of your fellow warriors. You have done your duty."
All of my fears and doubts begin to slip away and I feel at ease. I feel a touch on my cheek and I open my eyes. The city and the swarm are gone and I am now on a beach where I can hear the roar of the waves and feel the grit of sand on my skin. I blink and my fingers twitch. I can move again. I shake the yellow grains from my head and hair and prop myself up. I can feel the warm sunlight and the spray of seawater.
"How did I…?" Somehow, I am back in Seheron. I take a deep breath, the smell of salt heavy on the breeze. I can see the ships of the Qunari fleet at anchor just offshore. Flag and banners of _anaan_, or victory, fly over the canvas sails and wooden masts and I know that we have conquered. But conquered what?
"Sten," I hear a voice say. I turn and see the soldiers of the _Beresaad_, the very people that I left Seheron with. How can this be? I…I seem to recall that they were all killed. In the dim recesses of my mind I can see their bodies being torn apart by Darkspawn. But yet, here they are, stoic with the proud bearings of Qunari warriors. They sit in the sand beside me, unslinging their scabbards and laying them in their laps. "We have done our duty well, Sten," one says to me, addressing me as his leader.
"What duty?" I ask, incredulous. "We were defeated. You were killed by Darkspawn during our first battle in Ferelden. I am…I am shamed."
My _Ashaad_, or scout, smirks at me. "How can that be, Sten, when we are here with you. We defeated the Darkspawn and have made our report to the _Arishok_. We are to be honored. How can you deny our presence?"
"I cannot," I say and reach out to touch him. He is solid and his words are true. Though this seems to be a dream, I cannot deny Ashaad's foundation in the _Qun_. They are here. They are real. This must be accepted. Still, I cannot shake an uneasy feeling. A flash of memory shoots through my mind. "The _Asala_…my sword, it was lost." I try to stifle a horrified look, but I fail. I reach behind my back on pure instinct and find the handle of the _Asala_. Somehow, I know I had lost my place among the Qunari, my very soul, but yet, there it was in its scabbard.
Ashaad shakes his head. "No, Sten, you found it."
I nod slowly as my mind clears of the momentary panic. "No, she found it. She returned it to me." I see the woman from my earlier vision, presenting me with the weapon. In the memory she doesn't smile, but we make eye contact, warrior to warrior. I wrap my large hand around the scabbard and reclaim my soul.
With a sigh the image fades and I sit upright and pull the sword from its sheath. I feel the familiar long draw and heavy weight of the blue steel blade. As the tip clears, I bring the weapon around in front of me and hold it in before my face. The sunlight glitters on the surface of the well oiled metal, rippling like the surface of the sea. I know every knick and scuff along this blade and everything is where it should be…everything _is _as it should be. I accept what Ashaad has told me. I have done my duty for the _Qun_. I have earned my rest.
End file.
| fanfiction |
diabetic nephropathy ( dn ) is the leading cause of end - stage renal disease .
mesangial cell proliferation , excessive extracellular matrix ( ecm ) proteins accumulation , basement membrane thickening , mesangial expansion , and other mesangial region lesions are involved in the renal pathological process , which ultimately lead to glomerular sclerosis .
although hyperglycemia , hyperlipemia , hypertension , blood flow , and inflammation are participated in the pathogenesis of dn , the exact cause of dn remains unclear [ 14 ] .
naringenin ( 4,5,7-trihydroxy flavanone , nar ) is a flavanone compound found in citrus fruits , which is rich in the seeds and peels of fruits .
recent researches showed that nar had many potentially pharmacological effects such as antioxidant , anti - inflammation , anticancer , and antifibrosis [ 58 ] .
meanwhile , it was reported that nar possessed antiproliferative activity in lung cancer , colorectal cancer , and leukemia cell and regulated extracellular matrix synthesis in hepatic satellite cell [ 912 ] .
furthermore , nar could decrease the blood glucose level in stz induced diabetic rats [ 13 , 14 ] , suppress macrophage infiltration into adipose tissue in an early phase of high - fat diet - induced obesity , and inhibit production of il-1 , il-6 , type iv collagen , fibronectin , tgf-1 , and monocyte chemoattractant protein-1 ( mcp-1 ) in the kidney of diabetic mice .
however , the mechanism of the proliferation effect of nar in dn is unknown up to now .
microrna let-7 and its family members have been reported to participate in many diseases including kidney diseases . let-7a
regulated glucose metabolism and insulin synthesis / secretion with type 2 dm by targeting lin28 pathway [ 17 , 18 ] .
let-7a and let-7d could affect glucose metabolism by downregulating il-13 in the skeletal muscle of type 2 dm patients . also , let-7 family members regulated collagen expression in glomerular mesangial cells under diabetic conditions .
furthermore , our previous experiments showed that let-7a was downexpressed in dn patients , and the let-7a-3 promoter hypermethylation and the rs1143770 polymorphism of let-7a-2 were participated in dn [ 21 , 22 ] .
moreover , let-7a had been reported to modulate ecm deposition in breast and pancreas cells [ 2325 ] .
these findings suggested that let-7a may be an important factor in the effects of nar in dn . in the present study
, we aimed to explore the protective effects of nar on kidney as well as its effects on let-7a / tgfbr1 signaling in diabetic nephropathy rats and mesangial cell under high glucose condition .
this study demonstrated that let-7a and its related pathway - tgf-1/smad signaling formed a negative feedback to inhibit the deposition of ecm by targeting tgfbr1 in dn .
moreover , nar might repress glomerular mesangial cells proliferation and accumulation of ecm by let-7a / tgfbr1 signaling in dn , and let-7a may be a novel potential target for nar protecting against diabetic nephropathy .
twenty - five male sprague - dawley rats weighting 120 20 g ( four weeks old ) were provided by the experimental animal center at chongqing medical university .
the animals were housed in the clean environment under conditions of controlled temperature of 2025c and humidity 65~69% .
the rats were randomly divided into a control group ( con , n = 5 ) and a dn group ( n = 20 ) . the control rats were fed with the normal diet , while the rats in diabetic group were fed with the high - sugar - high - fat diet .
five weeks later , diabetic nephropathy was induced by a single intraperitoneal injection of stz ( sigma , st .
mmol / l ) and high urinary total protein level ( total protein level in dn group was more than twice higher than the control group ) were measured to confirm early dn in rats .
then , the dn rats ( n = 18 ) were assigned into two groups : dn rats treated with saline ( dn group , n = 8) and dn rats treated with nar ( nar group , n = 10 ) .
the rats in nar group were treated with naringenin ( sangon , shanghai , china ) ( 50 mgkgday , gavage ) , while the rats in dn group were treated with the equal volume of normal saline . among the three groups
, blood glucose was measured each week , and 24 h urine was collected every two weeks .
renal tissues from each rat were disposed as follows : one was immediately frozen in liquid nitrogen , and the other was fixed with 4% paraformaldehyde .
all animal experiments were performed in accordance with the protocols approved by chongqing medical university animal care committee .
24 h urinary protein was measured by the coomassie brilliant blue ( cbb ) method .
urinary creatinine ( ucr ) and serum creatinine ( scr ) were measured by clinical laboratory .
urinary creatinine clearance ( ccr ) ratio was calculated using the following equation : ccr ( mlminkg ) = [ urinary cr ( mmol / l ) urinary volume ( ml)/serum cr ( mmol / l ) ] [ 1/1,440 ( min ) ] .
right kidney weight ( kw ) and body weight ( bw ) were assessed to calculate kidney index :
the glomerular areas ( m ) with 50 fields of view were analyzed by image - pro plus 6.0 .
0.1 g nar powder was dissolved in 1 ml dmso and then filtrated using 0.22 m micropore filter , preserved at 4c for subsequent use .
the solution were diluted in dmem to different working concentration of 100 mol / l , 200 mol / l , 400 mol / l , 600 mol / l , and 1000 mol / l .
mouse glomerular mesangial cell ( mmc ) line ( academy of sciences , shanghai , china ) was cultured in dmem with 20% fbs in a humidified atmosphere containing 5% co2 at 37c .
mmcs were maintained in 5 mmol / l glucose plus 20 mmol / l mannitol as the control group ( lg ) .
cells were maintained in 25 mmol / l glucose as the high glucose group ( hg ) , and cells were treated with 25 mmol / l glucose plus nar as the nar treatment group ( nar ) .
293 t cells were preserved in our laboratory and grown in dmem with 10% fbs as previously described .
mmcs were seeded at a density of 1.0 10 cells / well in 96-well plates with nar treatment .
after treated with nar for 0 h , 12 h , 24 h , and 36 h , 20 l mtt reagent was added into each corresponding cultured well .
the absorbance in 490 nm was measured by the microplate reader ( bio - rad , usa ) .
mmcs were treated with nar for 24 h , then were digested with trypsin and were made into cell suspension , were washed with precooling pbs twice , were fixed with 75% precooling ethanol overnight at 4c , collected the cells by centrifuge , were washed with 1 ml pbs , were added 100 l rnasea incubated at 37c for 30 min , were added 400 l pi incubated at 4c for 30 min at dark , 1 10 cells for cell cycle analysis with bd flow cytometry by standard procedure .
mmcs were seeded at a density of 0.75 10 cells / ml in serum - free dmem , with the addition of a transfection agent and let-7a mimics oligonucleotides ( let7a - m ) , negative control mimics ( nc - m ) , let-7a inhibitor oligonucleotides ( let7a - i ) , and negative control inhibitor ( nc - i ) ( jima , shanghai , china ) .
six hours after transfection , the medium was changed and the cells were incubated with fresh serum - containing medium for another 24~48 h. in addition , mmcs were transfected with let-7a mimics plus nar as the nar + let7a - m group ; cells were transfected with let-7a inhibitor plus nar as the nar + let7a - i group .
all transfections were performed with the aid of a lipofectamine 2000 transfection agent ( invitrogen , usa ) following the manufacturer 's instructions .
total rna was extracted by trizol reagent ( invitrogen ) according to the manufacturer 's instructions .
small rnas ( < 300 nt ) were isolated when 2 to 5 g total rna sample was size - fractionated using a ym-100 microcon centrifugal filter ( millipore ) .
the primescript rt reagent kit ( takara , dalian , china ) and sybr premix ex taq tm ii ( takara , dalian , china ) were used for mirna and mrna quantification .
relative expressions were calculated using 2 method and normalized to the expression of u6 or gapdh .
primers for real - time pcr were as follows : col-4 , ( f ) : 5-caaaccacagccaatccttca-3 , ( r ) : 5-aagaagggaaaacccactgtagagt-3 ; fn , f : 5-catggctttaggcgaacca-3 , r : 5-catctacattcggcaggtatgg-3 ; tgf-1 , f : 5-agggctaccatgccaacttc-3 , r : 5-ccacgtagtagacgatgggc-3 ; tgfbr1 , f : 5-tggcggaatccacgaaga-3 , r : 5-acggatggatcagaaggtacaag-3 ; smad2 , f : 5-acaacaggcctttacagcttc-3 , r : 5-ctctgtggctcaattcctgc-3 ; smad7 , f : 5-ccatcaaggcttttgactatgaaa-3 , r : 5-ccatggctgctgcatgaac-3. all real - time rt pcr was performed in triplicate , and the data were presented as means sd . total protein from cells and renal tissues
were extracted , subjected to 10% sds - polyacrylamide gels ( beyotime , shanghai , china ) and transferred to polyvinylidene difluoride membrane .
membranes were blocked with 5% nonfat dry milk dissolved in tbst and then incubated with primary antibody overnight at 4c .
antibodies and dilutions included the following : rabbit monoclonal to col4 antibody ( 1 : 1,000 , proteintech ) , rabbit polyclonal to fn antibody ( 1 : 1,000 , proteintech ) , rabbit monoclonal to smad2 antibody ( 1 : 1,500 , proteintech ) , rabbit polyclonal to p - smad2 antibody ( 1 : 500 , bioworld ) , rabbit polyclonal to tgf-1 antibody ( 1 : 800 , proteintech ) , rabbit polyclonal to tgfbr1 antibody ( 1 : 700 , bioworld ) , and rabbit polyclonal to gapdh antibody ( 1 : 2,000 , proteintech ) .
the membranes were incubated with the goat anti - rabbit igg ( 1 : 5,000 , abcam ) for 1.5 h. signals were detected with chemidocxrs system ( bio - rad , usa ) .
kidney tissue paraffin sections ( 4 m ) were subjected to immunofluorescence staining.antibodies and dilutions were as follows : rabbit monoclonal to col4 antibody ( 1 : 50 , proteintech ) , rabbit polyclonal to fn antibody ( 1 : 100 , proteintech ) , rabbit polyclonal to tgf-1 antibody ( 1 : 50 , proteintech ) , and rabbit polyclonal to tgfbr1 antibody ( 1 : 50 , bioworld ) .
the tissue sections were then incubated with fitc or tritc for 1 h. images were acquired using the fluorescence microscope ( olympus japan ) .
tgfbr1 ( nm_009370.2 ) 3-utr - luciferase constructs were made using the pmir - rb - report vector , and the primers for tgfbr1 3 utr - wt were as follows : tgfbr1-wt - f : 5-gcgctcgaggggtgtttaggaggctggt-3 ; tgfbr1-wt - r : 5-aatgcggccgccatacaacttttccttcgg-3. the pcr products were excised with noti and xhoi .
the potential binding sequences of let-7a on the tgfbr1 3utr were mutated by the quikchange site - directed mutagenesis kit ( stratagene ) .
for transfection , 293 t cells were seeded into 96-well plates at a density of 1.5 10 per well ; then cells were transfected with tgfbr1 - 3utr - wt ( 200 ng / ml ) , tgfbr1 - 3utr - mut ( 200 ng / ml ) , and let-7a mimics ( 50 nmol / l ) using lipofectamine 2000 . after 48 h
data for multiple variable comparisons were analyzed by one - way analysis of variance ( anova ) .
results showed blood glucose level went up steadily with time in dn rats , while blood glucose level was decreased at 6 weeks in nar group ( figure 1(a ) ) .
the 24 h urinary protein went up steadily with time in dn rats , while after nar treatment , it was decreased ( figure 1(b ) ) . and creatinine clearance ratio ( ccr )
is generally considered as the feature of renal function , reflecting renal filtration function . kidney index ( ki ) and glomerular area ( ga ) are the morphological markers of glomerular hypertrophy .
we evaluated the effects of nar on 24 h urinary protein , ccr , ki , and ga .
24 h urinary protein ( 8.49 1.87 versus 40.41 4.68 mg/24 h , p < 0.001 ) .
ki ( 2.87 0.17 versus 4.83 0.30 , p < 0.001 ) and ga ( 146.32 23.74 versus 194.29 40.60 m ,
p < 0.05 ) were significantly increased in dn group compared with those in con group , whereas ccr ( 3.31 0.74 versus 1.39 0.30 ml / min , p < 0.01 ) was decreased in dn group .
after treatment with nar , ccr was obviously increased ( 1.39 0.30 versus 2.08 0.55 ml / min , p < 0.05 ) ( figure 1(c ) ) ; ki was significantly decreased ( 4.83 0.30 versus 4.33 0.34 , p < 0.05 ) ( figure 1(d ) ) .
ga was reduced ( 194.29 40.60 versus 165.15 41.15 m , p < 0.05 ) in the nar group compared with that in dn group ( figures 1(e ) and 1(f ) ) .
to evaluate the effect of nar on mesangial cells proliferation , mtt and cell cycle analysis were used .
mtt results showed that nar obviously inhibited cell proliferation at the concentration of 400 , 600 , and 1000 mol / l for 24 h , 36 h , and 200 mol / l for 36 h , whereas cell proliferation rates were unchanged at the concentration of 100 mol / l ( figure 2(a ) ) .
moreover , the cell cycle analysis showed cells were treated with 400 , 600 , and 1000 mol / l nar for 24 h , respectively .
the results showed that g2 phase of nar group was significantly increased when compared with that in hg group , while s phase was shortened in nar group at the concentration of 600 and 1000 mol / l .
therefore , these data indicated that nar delayed mesangial cell growth at g2 phase ( figure 2(b ) ) .
a key feature of dn was the accumulation of excessive extracellular matrix proteins , predominant collagens ( col4 ) , and fibronectin ( fn ) . to determine whether nar affected col4 and fn expression in vivo and in vitro , col4 and fn mrnas and proteins of kidney tissues were examined by real - time rt pcr ( figure 2(c ) ) , western blot ( figures 2(d ) , 2(e ) , and 2(f ) ) , and immunofluorescence ( figures 2(g ) and 2(h ) ) .
the results showed that the mrna and protein of col4 and fn were remarkably increased in the dn or hg group compared with the con or lg group and decreased when nar was treated in mice and cells .
taken together , our results suggested that nar could improve the excessive deposition of ecm .
our previous study demonstrated that several mirnas were differentially expressed in blood samples of dn patients by mirna array and real - time pcr , including let-7a , let-7d , let-7f , mir-363 , and mir-4429 ( data not shown ) .
furthermore , our result displayed that only let-7a was reversed when treated with nar among the five mirnas in mesangial cells with high glucose ( figure 3(a ) ) . to determine whether nar affected the expression of let-7a in vivo ,
the results showed that let-7a was significantly decreased in the dn group compared with the con group .
after the treatment of nar , the expression of let-7a was significantly enhanced in the nar group compared with the dn group ( figure 3(b ) ) .
these results demonstrated that nar upregulated let-7a expression both in vivo and in vitro in dn .
we further observed whether nar affected fibrosis markers col4 and fn expressions by regulating let-7a in cells .
mmcs were transfected with let-7a mimics ( let7a - m ) , let-7a inhibitor ( let7a - i ) , nar , or nar with let-7a intervention .
the results showed that let-7a was highly expressed in let-7a mimics group and decreased in inhibitor group .
the expression of let-7a was significantly elevated in nar + let-7a group , whereas let-7a declined in nar + let-7a inhibitor group ( figure 3(c ) ) .
moreover , the expressions of col4 and fn were decreased in let-7a or nar group compared with those in the untreated hg group .
interestingly , the expressions of col4 and fn were lower after transferring let-7a mimic and nar into mesangial cell compared with nar or let-7a group ( figures 3(d ) and 3(e ) ) .
so our results suggested that nar could improve the excessive deposition of ecm by upregulating let-7a expression . to evaluate possible functions of let-7a , we screened potential target genes of let-7a .
firstly , according to bioinformatics software targetscan ( http://www.targetscan.org/ ) , we found that dn related gene - tgfbr1 was a potential target of let-7a . by analyzing homology
, we found that the putative mmu - let-7a target site in tgfbr1 3-utr was highly conserved in sixteen genomes ( figure 4(a ) ) .
transcripts carrying the tgfbr1 3-utr - wt exhibited a significant reduction in luciferase activity in the presence of let-7a .
in contrast , the mimics negative control had no significant effect on the luciferase activity ( figure 4(b ) ) .
meanwhile , western blot results showed that the expression level of tgfbr1 protein was reduced significantly in the let-7a mimics group compared with the hg group ( figures 4(c ) and 4(d ) ) .
tgf-1 is recognized as a major mediator of renal fibrosis because it is able to stimulate the accumulation of ecm protein and tgf-1/smad signaling activation involving in this process . to determine that whether nar affected the tgf-1/smad signaling in vivo , we examined tgf-1 , tgfbr1 , smad2 , and smad7 mrna and protein expressions in kidney tissue of dn rats .
the results of real - time rt pcr showed that tgf-1 , tgfbr1 , and smad2 mrnas were remarkably increased in the dn group compared with the con group , while smad7 mrna was declined .
nar reduced the expressions of tgf-1 , tgfbr1 , and smad2 and increased smad7 mrnas ( figure 5(a ) ) .
meanwhile , the western blot results showed that tgf-1/smad signaling was highly activated in dn group as revealed by a marked upregulation of tgf-1 , tgfbr1 , and p - smad2/smad2 and downexpression of smad7 , whereas nar directly reduced tgf-1 , tgfbr1 , and p - smad2/smad2 and increased smad7 protein expression ( figures 5(b ) and 5(c ) ) .
we further observed the effects of nar on tgf-1 , tgfbr1 , smad2/p - smad2 , and smad7 protein in mmcs .
we found that the expressions of tgf-1 , tgfbr1 , and smad2/p - smad2 significantly decreased and smad7 increased in nar group compared with those in hg group ( figures 5(b ) and 5(d ) ) .
the results of immunofluorescence for tgf-1 and tgfbr1 were consistent with the results of western blot ( figure 5(e ) ) .
together , our results suggested that tgf-1/smad signaling was activated in dn rats and mmcs in high glucose condition and nar could inhibit tgf-1/smad signaling activation in vivo and vitro .
furthermore , we observed whether nar affected tgf-1/smad signaling by regulating let-7a in mmcs or not .
we found that overexpression of let-7a and nar treatment decreased the ratio of p - smad2/smad2 and tgfbr1 proteins compared with mmcs without treatment .
additionally , nar alleviated the change in the ratio of p - smad2/smad2 and tgfbr1 proteins cooperation with let7a - m more significantly than nar group and let7a - m group , whereas the ratio of p - smad2/smad2 and tgfbr1 protein was increased in the nar + let-7a inhibitor group compared with nar group ( figures 5(f ) and 5(g ) ) .
our results suggested that tgf-1/smads signaling was activated in dn rats and mmcs in high glucose condition and nar inhibited tgf-1/smads signaling activation through upregulating let-7a and suppressing tgfbr1 expression .
glomerular mesangial cell acts actively in glomeruli , which can secrete ecm and produce cytokine , phagocyte , and clear macromolecules , and it has systolic function like smooth muscle cell .
studies have confirmed that mesangial cell was the important glomerular resident cells in the synthesis of ecm proteins [ 30 , 31 ] .
deposition of excessive ecm molecules , predominant collagens , and fibronectin in the kidney will lead to kidney hyperplasia and glomerular area enlargement , which adversely affected the structure and function of the kidney .
it played an important role in diabetes and its complications . researches revealed that nar could affect dyslipidemia , apob overproduction , and hyperinsulinemia in ldl - receptor null mice with diet - induced insulin resistance .
the antidiabetic effect of nar might be insulin - like effect in type 2 diabetic rats . additionally , it was reported that nar supplement increased its deposit in the liver and kidney of diabetic mice , and plasma levels of glucose and blood urea nitrogen were both decreased in nar group , while insulin level and creatinine clearance were increased in nar group compared with the diabetic control group . in this study ,
our results showed nar could not only decrease the blood glucose , 24 h urinary protein , kidney index , and glomerular area but also increase ccr in dn rats .
also , we examined the therapeutic effects of nar in dn rats and mesangial cells under diabetic condition .
our data showed that nar inhibited mesangial cells proliferation by delaying cell cycle at g2 phase .
moreover , col4 and fn were highly expressed in dn rats and mmcs under high glucose condition , while nar directly reduced the expressions of col4 and fn mrna and proteins .
therefore , these findings displayed that nar might participant in the development and progress of dn and suggested that nar could play an important role in dn .
however , the exact mechanism of nar in dn is still unclear . to explore the underlying mechanism of nar in dn , several dn
results showed let-7a was the only mirna which reversed the expression level when treated with nar in mesangial cells cultured with high glucose . furthermore
, numerous researches showed that let-7a was closely linked to modulate cell proliferation in various diseases [ 3638 ] .
also , our previous studies also showed that the promoter hypermethylation and single nucleotide polymorphism of let-7a played important roles in dn [ 21 , 22 ] .
therefore , these studies suggested that let-7a might be related to the therapeutic effects of nar in dn . in our study , real - time rt pcr results exhibited that let-7a expression was significantly decreased in both blood and kidney tissues of dn rats and mesangial cells under hyperglycemic condition . and
additionally , nar alleviated the changes of col4 and fn proteins cooperated with let7a mimics more significantly than nar group , whereas the inhibitory effect of nar cooperated with let-7a inhibitor was weakened .
so these results suggested that nar alleviated the deposition of ecm proteins by upregulating let-7a expression . in the famous dn related pathway - tgf-1/smad signaling pathway
subsequently , phosphorylated smad2 and smad3 bound to the common smad4 and formed the smad complex to regulate the downstream gene transcription . in this process , smad7 could block the activation of tgf-1/smad signaling as an inhibitory factor .
therefore , tgfbr1 , tgf-1 , and smads were key factors in the tgf-1/smad signaling pathway .
research showed nar decreased cell invasion and metastasis by inhibition of tgf-1/smads signaling pathway in pancreatic cancer , and nar also reduced tgf-1-induced hepatic satellite cell extracellular matrix deposition by inhibiting tgf-1/smads signals [ 12 , 40 ] . in this study , our data displayed that there was a significant reduction of tgfbr1 protein in the presence of let-7a mimics by dual - luciferase reporter assay , and overexpression of let-7a could decrease the expression of tgfbr1 protein by western blot .
our results showed that tgf-1/smads signaling was highly activated in dn rats and mmcs under high glucose condition , whereas nar directly suppressed activation of tgf-1/smad signaling .
more importantly , in vitro experiments , overexpression of let-7a decreased the expression of p - smad2 and tgfbr1 proteins compared with hg group and it suggested that let-7a may negatively regulate tgf-1/smads signaling by targeting tgfbr1 .
meanwhile , nar cooperated with let7a mimics ; its effects were more remarkable than nar or let-7a mimics ' individual effect in the reductions of p - smad2 and tgfbr1 proteins , while the reductions of p - smad2 and tgfbr1 proteins in the nar cooperated with let-7a inhibitor group were weakened .
taken together , our data exhibited that nar regulated the alteration of tgf-1/smads signaling through upregulating let-7a expression and suppressing tgfbr1 . in summary ,
our study suggested that nar ameliorated kidney injury and inhibited mesangial cells proliferation and accumulation of ecm in dn .
/ tgfbr1 , and let-7a might be a novel therapeutic target for nar protect against dn . | pubmed |
m31 , the andromeda galaxy , is the closest spiral galaxy and belongs to the same morphological type as the milky way .
it provides us with a sample of x - ray sources at a uniform and relatively nearby range of @xmath0800 kpc ( @xcite ) .
galactic absorption in the direction of m31 is rather low ( @xcite ) , allowing the study of soft x - ray emission down to about 0.2 kev , which is not possible for the sources in the bulge or galactic plane of our own galaxy .
observations with the _ einstein _ and _ rosat _ satellites revealed multiple point x - ray sources within m31 , and also significant unresolved x - ray emission in the bulge ( @xcite , hereafter su97 ) .
the origin of the unresolved emission remains unknown .
the possibilities include interstellar hot gas , or multiple faint point sources ( stars or x - ray binaries ) below the detection limit .
recently irwin & bregman ( 1999 ) , hereafter ib99 , suggested that whole x - ray emission of the bulge can be attributed to low - mass x - ray binaries ( lmxbs ) , which are commonly assumed to be responsible for the hard ( above several kev ) x - ray emission of the x - ray faint early - type galaxies . whether the same population of lmxbs might also be the origin for a significant very soft excess detected with _ einstein _ and _ rosat _ in several x - ray faint early - type galaxies ( e.g. @xcite ) remained , however , open and interesting question to explore .
in this letter we present results of our analysis of _ rosat _ pspc data .
we generated spatially resolved spectra of the bulge of m31 and for the first time extracted the spectrum of the unresolved x - ray emission .
the results presented below demonstrate that the integrated spectrum of bright x - ray binaries is significantly harder than the spectrum of the unresolved emission in the bulge of m31 .
we analyzed the _ rosat _
pspc observations discussed in detail by su97 .
descriptions of the instrument can be found in @xcite , and @xcite .
we used all observations with a total exposure longer than 10,000 s that were taken before oct 14 , 1991 .
most of our results were obtained from observation rp600068n00 , when the central part of m31 was observed(fig .
[ fig_068 ] ) .
the angular resolution of _ rosat_/pspc does not allow a clean separation of point sources from the diffuse emission in the bulge of m31 , because both are concentrated towards the center of the galaxy .
however , we segregated these two components spatially as best as we could , collecting small regions around bright binaries into one spectrum , and photons from the areas without bright point - like sources into another . to identify point sources we used the _ rosat _ pspc catalog published by su97 . to optimize the radius of photon collection for the point sources in the bulge , where diffuse emission is significant , we tried collection radii ranging from 30 to 60 arcsec for each source . as the radius increases we are collecting a great fraction of the source flux , but also the amount of diffuse contamination is increasing .
we found that the choice of this radius does not change our conclusions described below .
for x - ray binaries in the bulge , the typical radius was chosen to be 45 arcsec .
studying the integral spectrum of bright point sources outside of the bulge of m31 , we collected all photons within 75 arcsec from each source .
we used only data within a central part of _ rosat _ s field of view , that is inside the central ring of pspc support grid with @xmath0 20 arcmin radius .
the background was measured in the same area of the detector , but outside of m31 bulge , in a region devoid of significant point sources and with much less unresolved emission than the bulge .
the same background spectrum was used for all analyses of observation rp600068n00 , both for bright point sources , and for unresolved emission , except when diffuse emission was subtracted from the point source spectrum as a background ( as discussed below ) .
we experimented with different background regions and found that our results do not depend on this choice .
the spectral differences we discuss in this paper are much stronger than the expected background variations . various routines from the @xmath1 package ( v.5.0 )
were used to generate spectra and other necessary files , which were then used for spectral fitting with @xmath2 ( v.11.0 ) package .
we ignored energy channels below 11 and above 219 , and rebinned spectra so that each channel contained at least 25 counts .
our choice of spectral model was based on recent spectral studies of m31 bulge reported by ib99 and @xcite , hereafter tr99 .
both studies revealed the presence of at least two spectral components in the integral spectrum of the bulge .
the hard component was fitted with bremsstrahlung or power law model , while soft component - by a raymond - smith or mekal plasma emission model .
we chose to use a power law for the hard component , mostly because the reported best - fit temperature of bremsstrahlung was well above the _ rosat _ upper energy limit . unfortunately , _
rosat _ data can not provide us with tight constraints for parameters of a two - component model .
table [ tab_c5 ] presents several different combinations of parameters which all give reasonably good fits for the integrated spectrum of bulge emission , including all point sources and unresolved emission within inner 5 arcmin radius around the optical nucleus of m31 ( see e.g. @xcite for j2000 coordinates ) . the parameters of the fit are strongly correlated .
there is the expected correlation between power law slope and absorption value , and also a correlation of the absorption with metallicity .
the studies by ib99 and tr99 , which used _ asca _ and _ bepposax _ data , also did not provide well - constrained fit parameters .
the temperature parameter of soft component is 0.360.38 kev in ib99 , but varies between 0.15 and 0.50 for the several fits presented by tr99 .
metallicity can be as low as 0.03 ( ib99 ) or as high as 1 ( fixed by tr99 ) .
the power law slope from 1.21.3 ( ib99 ) to 1.82.2 ( tr99 ) , and absorption parameter @xmath3 from 4.4 @xmath4 10@xmath5 @xmath6 ( ib99 ) to 1012 @xmath4 10@xmath5 @xmath6 ( tr99 ) .
as one may see from table [ tab_c5 ] , fraction of emission in the soft component depends strongly on fit parameters .
therefore , we need to freeze most of the parameters in order to track the relative contributions of the two components as a function of position . for the most of our analysis we fixed the power law slope at 1.5 , the absorption column at the galactic value @xmath3 = 6.73 @xmath4 10@xmath5 @xmath6 ( @xcite ) , and the metallicity parameter at 0.03 .
this choice allowed us to get acceptable values of @xmath7 value in all cases , and study relative significance of hard and soft components for various regions in the bulge of m31 .
it does not imply , though , that these values have a real physical sense . as illustrated by table [ m31_fits ] , one might , for example , choose to fix the metallicity at solar value and get different fit parameters .
however , our main conclusion regarding the difference between the spectra of bright point sources and the unresolved emission is not model - dependent . using the model described above
, we looked at the spectrum of the integral bulge emission ( including all point sources ) at various distances from the m31 center ( less than 2 arcmin , between 2 and 5 arcmin , and between 5 and 8 arcmin ) .
the contribution from the soft component decreased with distance from the center , in correlation with the decrease of the diffuse intensity in the image .
the soft component fraction falls from 0.62 to 0.50 and then to 0.37 , as we move from the inner 2 arcmin to the outermost annulus ( table [ m31_fits ] ) . for the next stage of our analysis , we separated bright point sources from unresolved emission .
overall approach was to draw small circular regions around each point source listed in su97 .
then we integrated these regions into one spectrum ( ` xrbs ' ) , and integrated the rest of the area into a second spectrum ( ` diffuse ' ) .
admittedly , we can not separate point sources and unresolved emission near the core completely by this method , because the density of unresolved emission is maximal near the core of m31 , where the concentration of point sources is also maximal , however , relative contribution of both kinds of sources is different in spectra of those two types . in table
[ m31_fits ] we present two spectra for each type , which differ by the area where the emission was collected .
we tried to collect unresolved emission from the area where its density corresponds to average density of the same emission around bright sources .
this allowed us to subtract ` diffuse ' spectra from ` xrbs ' spectra in an attempt to get ` clean ' spectrum of point sources .
_ xrbs and diffuse emission near the core_. for these spectra we extracted x - ray photons from the area near the center of m31 , where the brightest point sources are concentrated and the density of diffuse emission is maximal .
the separation of two types of progenitors is especially challenging in this area .
14 bright point sources from su97 catalog , which are located within 6 x 8 arcmin ellipse around the center of m31 ( see inset b of fig .
[ fig_068 ] ) , formed xrbs spectrum .
unresolved emission was collected over the ellipse 4 x 6 arcmin , but circles of 45 arcsec diameter around each catalogued source were excluded ( inset a of fig .
[ fig_068 ] ) . for ` xrbs near the core '
the contribution of soft component is large ( 0.48 ) , but significantly lower than for the total emission from the same region ( 0.62 ) .
the soft component dominates the spectrum of unresolved emission collected in this area ( 0.8 ) .
if ` diffuse near the core ' spectrum , normalized for area , is subtracted from ` xrbs near the core ' , then soft component is no longer significant in residual spectrum . in another analysis we fixed the metallicity parameter at 1 .
while , as expected , the absolute values of soft component fraction differ significantly for the different metallicity , soft component still contributes significantly more ( 0.47 ) to the spectrum of the unresolved emission than to the spectrum of ` xrbs ' ( 0.22 ) .
the difference in the spectra illustrated by fig .
[ fig_cnts4 ] does not depend on our choice of model parameters it is easily seen in the distribution of counts over the spectral band . _
xrbs and diffuse emission in the bulge_. here , we summed the spectra of point sources and collected an unresolved emission from a larger area , where they are more easily separable .
the spectra of 14 bright sources that lie within 8 arcmin from the center , but outside of central 2 arcmin , were integrated into ` xrbs in the bulge'(inset c of fig .
[ fig_068 ] ) .
unresolved emission was collected from inner 5 arcmin , less 45 arcsec radii around all point sources listed in su97 ( see inset d of fig . [ fig_068 ] ) .
soft component is much stronger in the spectrum of unresolved emission ( 80% of total flux ) , than in the spectrum of ` xrbs ' ( @xmath020% of total flux , not detected when spectrum of diffuse emission is subtracted ) .
we see that while all spectra can be satisfactorily fitted by the same model , the relative contribution of hard and soft component are significantly different for point sources and unresolved emission . because we see the difference even with pspc data which are seriously confused in this region
, we expect that the difference would be even stronger if we obtained clean , well spatially resolved spectra .
furthermore , it motivates us to suggest that hard component in the bulge spectrum is generated by x - ray binaries of the bulge , while the soft component originates from a diffuse source of different nature .
this suggestion can be checked with data coming from chandra and xmm - newton instruments .
additionally we analyzed the integrated spectrum of other x - ray binaries in m31 . in this case
we added together spectra of all bright point objects located outside of central 8 arcminutes .
we did not add spectra of the sources marked as foreground stars or background galaxies in su97 .
altogether 61 bright point sources were added together to the spectrum labeled as ` xrbs in the disk ' in table [ m31_fits ] .
the integrated spectrum can be fit by single power - law component with a slope around 1.4 and absorption slightly higher than the galactic value ( fig .
[ fig_cnts4 ] ) .
no evidence for soft component was found .
this spectrum is very close to the spectrum of ` xrbs in the bulge ' with diffuse emission subtracted .
we need to note that all spectra labeled as ` xrbs ' in table [ m31_fits ] include all bright compact sources in m31 and does not exclude supernova remnants or globular clusters .
we suggest that a single power - law spectrum in _ rosat _ energy band is a more suitable template for the population of bright compact x - ray emitters , than the spectrum of m31 bulge , which includes a significant soft component .
our spatially resolved spectral analysis revealed a qualitative difference between the unresolved emission and the bright point sources in the bulge of m31 .
we have performed several tests and that gave consistent results .
we found that soft component is much more prominent in the spectrum of unresolved emission than in the integral spectrum of bright point sources ( presumably lmxbs ) .
previous studies were based on the spectrum of integral x - ray emission from the bulge , in comparison with spectra for individual sources .
ib99 argued that lmxbs may be responsible for both hard and soft x - ray components in the spectrum of the m31 bulge .
they suggested furthermore that unresolved emission in the bulge is composed of the same lmxbs and has the same energy spectrum .
our analysis shows conclusively that this is not the case .
the spectrum of the unresolved emission is significantly different and hence it must be dominated by the sources of a different nature .
these sources are responsible for most of soft excess observed from m31 .
we can not rule out the possibility that lmxbs generate some of the soft component , but the contribution of this component to their spectra is lower than in the unresolved emission .
the nature of the unresolved emission remains unclear , however , we believe that the observation of an extended radio source of a similar size at the same position in m31 ( @xcite ) supports an interstellar gas hypothesis . the reality of diffuse emission in m31 is , in a sense , not a surprise - in our own galaxy , we have long known of diffuse emission from the galactic plane down to 3 kev ( valinia & marshall 1998 , kaneda et al . 1999 , and references therein ) .
although our measurements of m31 did not extend to these energies , and the soft component that we detected would be hidden by absorption in our own galaxy , the galactic measurements give evidence for thermal emission from a perhaps hotter phase of the interstellar medium .
our study suggests that the resolved bright sources in the bulge of m31 may not be responsible for any of the soft x - ray excess in the spectrum . in this case
, their integral spectrum strongly resembles the bright x - ray sources outside of the m31 bulge .
this looks surprising because it is commonly accepted that disk and bulge sources belong to different populations of x - ray binaries .
it may appear , however , that lmxbs can not be distinguished from high - mass x - ray binaries solely on the basis of their x - ray spectra in _ rosat _ band .
after all , the compact objects in both types of binaries are of the same nature . our conclusion that the soft spectral component mainly emerges from the unresolved emission does not depend on a quantitative deconvolution of the bulge spectrum .
this is important , because the exact fraction in the soft component depends strongly on the spectral model parameters , and can not be well evaluated with existing data .
our poor state of knowledge is reflected by the difference between tr99 ( 15% soft fraction ) and ib99 ( 38% or more ) .
the fraction of the total bulge emission from point sources is also unclear .
trinchieri and fabbiano ( 1991 ) found that 75% of the bulge emission was resolved into 46 point sources , but primini et al .
( 1003 ) estimated that 45 point sources accounted for only 58% of the emission from the inner 5 , with the rest unresolved . with these uncertainties , it is difficult to determine the fraction of soft emission that comes from lmxbs based on integrated spectra , motivating our spatially - resolved analysis .
new data from xmm - newton and chandra promises to clarify the picture .
the interpretation of our results goes far beyond the case of m31 , because this galaxy , due to its proximity , often serves as a testbed for other early - type galaxies ( see e.g. irwin & sarazin , 1998 ) .
the x - ray spectra of many x - ray - faint galaxies had been found to be the sum of a hard component and a very soft component , similar to the spectrum of the m31 bulge .
our analysis suggests that this soft component comes mostly from a hot interstellar gas , or some unknown population of faint , soft x - ray sources , but not from lmxbs .
the _ rosat _ public data were extracted from the heasarc electronic archive operated by the goddard space flight center ( nasa ) .
the authors are thankful to an anonymous referee and to j.irwin for useful comments .
kb is glad to acknowledge helpful discussion of the draft by m.revnivtsev and a.vikhlinin .
@xmath9 in units of @xmath10 @xmath6 + @xmath11 total unabsorbed model flux in 0.2 - 2 kev band , in units of @xmath12 ergs s@xmath13 @xmath6 + @xmath14 fraction of soft component in total unabsorbed model flux in 0.2 - 2 kev band + @xmath15 in this case the spectrum of diffuse emission has been taken as a background | arxiv |
The Koolakamba or Kooloo-Kamba is a purported hybrid species of chimpanzees and gorillas. This alleged hybrid ape species has been reported in Africa as early as the mid 19th century. No empirical evidence has been found to substantiate the existence of the creature. The Koolakamba was referenced in the mid-19th century in French work by Franquet 1852, as cited by Shea, 1984 and in some descriptive work of Paul Du Chaillu from 1860, 1861, 1867, and 1899, some of which was republished in 1969 Explorations and Adventures in Equatorial Africa.
Origins of the name
DuChaillu refers to the ape as Koolakamba based upon his description of words used by the indigenous peoples Commi, Goumbi, and Bakalai[sic] in the region of the Ovengi River of West Central Africa, modernly the areas of Cameroon and Gabon. The people allegedly referred to the ape as Kooloo because that is what its unique vocalization, quite unlike the vocalizations of other apes in the region, sounded like to them. Kamba, according to DuChaillu, is a Commi word meaning to speak DuChaillu, 1899.
Description and distinguishing features
The Koolakamba is believed to be larger, flatter-faced, larger-skulled and more bipedal than a chimp; though, it may also be a mutation.
According to DuChaillu 1861 and 1869, the physical characteristics described for Koolakamba include a short and broad pelvic structure, large supraorbital ridge, high zygomatic ridges, less prominent muzzle, dentition in which the upper and lower incisors meet squarely forming a grinding surface, and a larger cranial capacity than that of the common chimpanzee. Much of what DuChaillu records is essentially ethnographic. He includes the indigenous names and lore relevant to the ape, descriptive text, and presumably accurate illustrations, but limited quantitative mostly anthropometric data.
Discussion
Although there has not been a documented sighting of the Koolakamba or proof of its existence in modern times, in 1881 Koppenfelds claimed that it did indeed exist: I believe it is proved that there are crosses between the male Troglodytes gorilla and the female Troglodytes niger, but for reasons easily understood, there are none in the opposite direction. I have in my possession positive proof of this. This settles all the questions about the gorilla, chimpanzee, Kooloo Kamba,....etc.
In November 1996, a picture of an unusual ape taken by Peter Jenkins and Liza Gadsby at the Yaounde Zoo, Cameroon was featured in the Newsletter of the Internal Primate Protection League IPPL. This picture showed a seemingly hybrid ape with wider face and a larger skull than that of a chimpanzee and smaller than that of a gorilla. The ape in the picture had features that seemed to belong to both the gorilla and the chimpanzee.
Scientifically, it has not been determined if the Koolakamba is a subspecies of chimpanzee, a gorilla-chimpanzee hybrid, or perhaps simply a product of individual variation. Yerkes reported several unclassifiable apes with features intermediate between chimpanzee and gorilla in his 1929 book A Study of Anthropoid Life.It is believed that these are regional races of chimpanzee classified as separate species by over-enthusiastic scientists.
See also
Bili ape
Humanzee
Oliver the chimpanzee
References
Category:Apes
Category:Central African legendary creatures
Category:Hominid cryptids
Category:Legendary mammals
Category:Intergeneric hybrids | wikipedia |
a number of case reports have described the application of minimally invasive surgical techniques to accomplish esophagectomy .
however , most reports have employed thoracoscopic or laparoscopic techniques to perform esophagectomy in addition to an access
this report describes a total laparoscopic transhiatal esophagectomy in a 55 year old female with barrett 's esophagus and high grade dysplasia .
the patient had an uneventful recovery and was discharged home on the fourth day after a total laparoscopic esophagectomy .
this report demonstrates the technical feasibility of this complex procedure by a minimally invasive approach .
conventional esophagectomy can be performed from a variety of surgical approaches including laparotomy , thoracotomy , or combined thoraco - abdominal approach .
most of these operations have included a standard laparotomy with thoracoscopic esophageal mobilization or laparoscopic gastric mobilization and periesophageal dissection with a minilaparotomy .
we report our technical approach to a totally laparoscopic transhiatal esophagectomy in a patient with barrett 's esophagus and high - grade dysplasia .
a 55 year old white female with known barrett 's esophagitis was found to have high - grade dysplasia on routine endoscopic surveillance .
endoscopic ultrasound , computed tomography of the chest and abdomen showed no evidence of invasive cancer , and she was scheduled for esophagectomy .
the patient was placed in the supine position with the neck turned to the right .
these included two 10 mm ports , placed to the right and left of the midline between the umbilicus and the xiphoid for the camera and working port .
three 5 mm ports were placed , one on the left costal margin , one on the right costal margin and one near the inferior aspect of the right costal margin for placement of the self - retaining liver retractor .
the left lobe of the liver was retracted upward to expose the esophageal hiatus using the mediflex self - retaining retractor system .
the periesophageal dissection continued into the mediastinum by retracting downward on the stomach and dividing the aortoesophageal branches .
working circumferentially this dissection was carried cephalad on the esophagus up to the level of the left main stem bronchus .
next , the short gastric vessels were divided using the harmonic scalpel ( ethicon , cincinnati , ohio ) .
the dissection continued on the greater curvature of the stomach preserving the right gastroepiploic arcade .
the stomach was retracted superiorly and the left gastric vessels were isolated and divided using an endoscopic stapler ( endo - gia , ussc ) with a vascular load .
pyloromyotomy was performed using the endoscopic scissors ( endoshear , ussc ) and , electrocautery .
gastroduodenoscopy with insufflation showing a bulging mucosa confirmed the completion of the myotomy and demonstrated no evidence of leak .
the esophagus with a cuff of normal gastric cardia was divided from the remaining stomach using the 4.5 mm stapler ( autosuture endo - gia , u.s .
the distal esophagus was attached to the gastric fundus using a 2 - 0 endostitch ( autosuture , u.s .
surgical corporation ) . a 4 cm horizontal neck incision was placed one fingerbreadth above the suprasternal notch and extended towards the left sternocleidomastoid muscle .
the mediastinoscope was inserted through this neck incision along the periesophageal plane to facilitate circumferential dissection of the upper esophagus until the dissection plane achieved during laparoscopic mobilization was encountered .
once the entire esophagus was mobilized , it was removed through the neck incision pulling the attached gastric fundus transhiatally .
an esophagogastric anastomosis was performed using a 25 mm end - to - end stapler ( autosuture eea stapler , u.s .
the nasogastric tube was directed through the anastomosis and placed down into the distal stomach .
a laparoscopic feeding jejunostomy tube was performed by attaching a loop of proximal jejunum to the anterior abdominal wall .
the nasogastric tube was kept in place until a barium swallow was done on postoperative day 3 which showed no leaks .
jejunal feeds were not necessary , and the jejunostomy tube was removed at 3 weeks postoperatively .
as technology and expertise improve , more advanced minimally invasive surgical procedures are being successfully performed . established procedures include laparoscopic nissen fundoplication , video - assisted thoracoscopic ( vats ) lobectomy , laparoscopic esophageal myotomy and many others .
the application of minimally invasive surgical techniques to resect esophageal carcinoma has been recently investigated .
there are multiple series in the literature reporting the use of laparoscopy or video - assisted thoracoscopy to complete esophagectomy .
report nine patients that underwent laparoscopic mobilization of the stomach for esophageal replacement ( 6 patients with abdominal laparoscopic approach combined with right thoracotomy and 3 with transhiatal laparoscopic esophagectomy ) .
all three patients with transhiatal approach required a right upper quadrant mini - laparotomy for resection of the lesser curvature and pyloroplasty .
many other studies have demonstrated the feasibility of thoracoscopic esophageal mobilization : dexter et al . reported 24 patients , law et al .
reported 22 patients and mcanena et al . reported 9 patients that underwent thoracoscopic dissection of the esophagus in conjunction with a laparotomy and cervical anastomosis .
robertson et al . reported 17 patients who underwent thoracoscopic assisted ivor - lewis esophagectomy , with 5 patients requiring open thoracotomy .
were the first investigators to report their experience with laparoscopic transhiatal esophagectomy . in their study
, the laparoscopic procedure was performed on 12 patients through five abdominal wall trocars with the surgeon standing between the patient 's legs .
gastric mobilization , transhiatal esophageal mobilization and pyloromyotomy was accomplished using videolaparoscopy in all except one patient who required conversion to open surgery .
postoperative complications included pleural effusion ( n=3 ) , anastomotic leakage ( n=1 ) transitory dysphonia ( n=3 ) and dumping ( n = l ) .
the key elements of transhiatal esophagectomy , including esophageal hiatus mobilization , gastric mobilization , division of short gastric vessels , blunt periesophageal dissection , pyloromyotomy , esophagogastric transection , and transhiatal gastric pull - up , can all be performed using laparoscopic techniques .
the cervical anastomosis can be performed in the conventional fashion through a limited cervical incision .
first , the camera port and the operating ports must be placed near the costal margin to provide adequate reach and visualization during the transhiatal dissection .
second , a self - retaining device is helpful to elevate the left lobe of the liver to expose the gastro - esophageal hiatus .
third , the harmonic scalpel provides excellent hemostasis during division of the short gastric and aortoesophageal vessels .
selected patients with high - grade barrett 's esophagus , carcinoma in - situ or early esophageal cancer could potentially benefit from a minimally invasive esophagectomy . | pubmed |
the mandibular canal ( mc ) transmits the inferior alveolar nerve ( a branch of the mandibular nerve which is the third division of the trigeminal nerve ) and the inferior alveolar artery and vein .
the inferior alveolar nerve supplies the mandibular teeth and gives off the mental nerve , which exits the mc through the mental foramen .
knowledge of the anatomy and location of the mc are essential for successful procedures in the region such as inferior alveolar nerve block , surgical dental extractions especially wisdom teeth , implants placement , etc .
anatomical variations of the mc , mostly bifid,- and more rarely trifid , have been reported by many authors using different radiographic technologies [ panoramic , computed tomography ( ct ) and cone - beam computed tomography ( cbct)].- this report describes a case of a unilateral bifid mc ( bmc ) suspected by a panoramic radiograph and confirmed by a cbct prior to a dental treatment .
a 22-year old male presented to our office for extraction of his wisdom teeth . on the panoramic ,
# 18 was absent , while # 28 , # 38 and # 48 were impacted with mesioangulated inclination ( figure 1 ) .
the apices of # 38 and # 48 were superimposed on the left and right image of the mc and a bmc was suspected at the left side .
a cbct was requested for further assessment . on the cbct examination , and after drawing the canal on both sides , the following were noted : i ) on the right side : the mc is located lingual to the root of the # 48 , in close relationship with the distal root ( figure 2 ) ; ii ) on the left side : at the exit of the mandibular foramen , appears the usual track of the mc , but distal to him , appears another thinner canal that goes more inferior , closer to the inferior border of the mandible , and join the principal canal at the level of the distal root of # 37 ( figures 3 and 4 ) . at the level of # 38
, the mc is located lingual to it , in close relationship with its distal and mesial root .
panoramic radiographs were used by nortje et al . who found an incidence of 0.9% of bmc ( 33/3612 ) , and by langlais et al .
with 0.96% ( 57/6000 ) . in the same way , studies conducted by grover and lorton , zografos et al . , and sanchiz et al .
found that the prevalence of bmc was respectively 0.08% ( 4/5000 ) , 0.4% ( 3/700),7 and 0.35% ( 7/2012 ) .
a higher incidence was reported by durst and snow [ 8.3% ( 85/1024 ) ] .
nowadays , with the technological improvement of the imaging techniques such as cbct , more details are provided and consequently better evaluation .
thus , many studies propose that the incidence of bmc is underestimated with the use of panoramic radiographs alone .
, kuribayashi et al . , consider that the incidence of bmc may be superior when using cbct , since panoramic radiographs are not adequate to detect all canals especially narrow ones . in their study , they reported the prevalence of bmc to be as 15.6% ( 47/301 ) .
these findings were consistent with the ones of klinge et al . , who concluded in their study performed on cadavers that panoramic images were unsuccessful to identify the mc in 36.1% of cases , and bogdn et al . , who noticed that among their specimens , only 0.2% of bmcs were visible on panoramic radiographs while 19.6% were detectable on dry mandibles .
on the other hand , on panoramic images , some anatomical structures may mimic bmcs such as the groove of the mylohyoid nerve located on the deep internal surface of the mandible ramus , , or some intra - bony dense trabecular formations.12 this being said , even if routine panoramic radiographs prior to many dental and oral procedures in the region of the mc are largely recommended , they have limitations in exhibiting intra osseous structures consequently when used to assess the existence and the configuration of bmcs .
contrariwise , cbct is considered more accurate for differentiating true from false bmcs . , concerning the types of bmcs , many classifications have been suggested by different authors among others nortj et al .
the latter is divided into four types according to their locations and shapes ( table 1 ) . according to many authors ,
the bmc type extending to the third molar region is the most frequent.- we believe our present case is still a rare variation .
although considered a rare anatomical variation , bmc may be found in each patient and must be assessed adequately .
technological improvement of imaging techniques has provided alternatives for complete and precise evaluations . among these techniques
is cbct , which provides images in the three planes , offering better information about the mc and the detection / confirmation of bmcs thereby preventing probable complications . | pubmed |
Comparing purity grades for ethanol
I am trying to determine if the following two grades of ethanol are equivalent:
1. Ethanol absolute, 99.8% Normapur AR (Analytical Reagent)
2. Ethanol alcohol, pure ACS reagent, ≥99.5%
Information on the technical specifications of these grades would also be helpful for comparison.
The important aspects of reagent purity are the level of purity with respect to compound(s) X, and the purity with respect to compound(s) X required for your particular use case.
For example, if you are conducting a reaction that requires anhydrous reagents but is unaffected by trace metals, then you would want to see a certificate of analysis or equivalent showing an acceptable limit for water in the reagent. Whereas if you require sub-ppm levels of trace metals, then that's the parameter of interest to you and you probably don't care if there is 0.5% water present.
In other words, a 99.5% pure ethanol product and a 99.8% ethanol product could be drastically different in their composition with respect to your needs; i.e. the apparently slightly more pure compound could have orders of magnitude more trace metals present than the slightly lower overall purity product. Furthermore, terminology regarding reagent purity is often similar between different vendors (i.e. pure, ultrapure, milipure, etc.), but frequently has very different implications on the aspect of purity that is important to you.
**Summary, TL;DR:**
Although you can frequently make generalizations about the meaning of "ACS Reagent" grade or "[pick-your-prefix]pure" grade, you need to inspect either the specifications on the bottle or certificate of analysis for each reagent to know for certainty that it meets your needs. The simplest reliable source for such information is the manufacturer, most of which have online resources providing this information for their products.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Die beste Show der Welt Eng: The best show of the world is the name of a German television show, which was first broadcast on 30 April 2016 on the private channel ProSieben. In the program, presenters Joachim Winterscheidt and Klaas Heufer-Umlauf present three independent show concepts. After all six shows have been presented, the studio audience decides which show wins the title of the best show in the world or the worst show in the world. Voting devices are used by the spectators. These remote controls can also be used for the interactive design of the show. The moderator is Jeannine Michaelsen. In the third and fourth edition, Oliver Kalkofe commented on the events and judged the respective shows.
The program is produced by Florida TV and was awarded the Deutscher Fernsehpreis in 2017.
Show concept
Joko Winterscheidt and Klaas Heufer-Umlauf present three up to four four shows each with a length of about 20 to 30 minutes. The presented shows are partly new show ideas, but are also based on existing TV show formats, which are slightly modified and parodied. At the same time, the two of them may force each other to participate in a show once per appointment Joker.
In the first four episodes, the studio audience with voting devices determined the audience for the show shown, which was the TV viewer at home live as a graphic superimposed. This graphic has been removed with Issue 5 of December 2, 2017. Each of the 600 people in the studio could switch on or off during the show, as if sitting at home in front of the TV, using their voting device, which acts like a remote control. Over the entire running time of the show could be switched on or off as often as you like. The course of the ratings was therefore close to how good or bad the show arrived at the studio audience. This was only visible to the television viewer at home, not for the studio audience. Until the second installment of the program, a cloud of light consisting of white spheres fixed above the studio and illuminated with lasers was installed in the studio, which had visualized the audience rating by their brightness. The more spectators from the studio audience turned on, the brighter the cloud of light became. Since the third edition, these are no longer available. At the end of a show, their average ratings are calculated and announced. It wins the show, which could reach the highest ratings. Should the audience rate drop below 25 during a show, it will enter a red area colored red on the graphic. This is now also audiovisually signaled in the studio light turns red and the picture on the video wall in the background falls apart. If the ratings stay below 25 for more than one minute, the show must be canceled and considered canceled. The generated up to that point in the audience is forfeited.
Since the fifth episode no quota is generated during the show. Instead, viewers in the audience at the end of the show choose the show they like best from all six concepts presented. It also The worst show in the world is determined.
Joko or Klaas won a trophy for the Best Show in the World, the German Television Award in an oversized version referred to in the show as the German Television Prize in XXL as a parody of the real German Television Award.
Broadcasts
References
Category:2016 German television series debuts
Category:2010s German television series
Category:ProSieben television series
Category:German-language television programs | wikipedia |
Lens with different mediums [closed]
[Homework-like questions](https://physics.meta.stackexchange.com/q/714) and [check-my-work questions](https://physics.meta.stackexchange.com/q/6093) are considered off-topic here, particularly when asking about specific computations instead of underlying physics concepts. Homework questions can be on-topic when they are useful to a broader audience. Note that answers to homework questions with complete solutions may be deleted!
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Please help the asker edit the question so that it asks about the underlying physics concepts instead of specific computations. If there are any complete answers, please flag them for moderator attention.
Closed 2 years ago.
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Assuming parallel rays are incident, I basically want to derive a general equation for lenses with different mediums. Can we use the effective focal length method? Also, while deriving the equation, do we have to consider sign convention for object and image distance or just writing $u$ and $v$?
Given Equation:
$$\frac{2\mu}{d} - \frac{1}{\infty} = \frac{\mu\_g -1}{R} - \frac{\mu\_g -\mu}{\infty}$$
But I basically want to understand what is the proof of this given equation, how do we derive it step-by-step in a general case where we can consider the both side of lens with different radius of curvatures and different refractive indices on both sides.
**I have tried to edit the question appropriately so that it is useful for others facing problems in lens with different mediums**
You are mistaken about purpose of the thin lens approximation.
Assume a ray strikes a lens at a height $h$ from the axis. It travels through the lens at some angle $\theta$. After a horizontal distance $d$, it comes to the next surface. You can calculate the new height as $h\_2 = h + d \space sin(\theta)$. The thin lens approximation means you approximate $d = 0$ and $h\_2 = h$.
You would think this approximation implies the curvature of the lens is also $0$, which makes it a window. But this is not the purpose of the approximation. It is just to simplify optical calculations a bit. This simplification is only useful for a first approximation, but it helped a lot in the days before computers. And it is still useful when you are just setting up focal lengths and such of a system, before considering aberrations and the real design. Or when you have a simple single lens system and don't care about exact placement.
| stackexchange/physics |
Basic Introduction of Occupational Health and Safety Management System : ISO 45001: 2018
Home Basic introduction of iso 45001 Basic Introduction of Occupational Health and Safety Management System : ISO 45001: 2018
Basic introduction of iso 45001,ISO 45001,ISO 45001 Certification,ISO 45001 Consultant
Basic introduction of occupational health and safety management system: ISO 45001: 2018
Occupational health is an area of work in general wellbeing to promote and keep up with most significant level of physical, mental and social prosperity of workers in all occupations.
The goals are:
The maintenance and advancement of workers wellbeing and working limit;
The improvement of working conditions and the workplace to become helpful for security and well-being;
The growth of work organization and working cultures should reflect essential value systems adopted by the undertaking concerned, and include effective managerial systems, personnel policy, principles for participation, and voluntary quality-related management practices to improve occupational safety and health.
An Occupational Health and Safety Management System (OHSMS) is a crucial piece of an association's risk management strategy. Executing an OHSMS empowers an association to:
Secure its labor force and others under its influence
Agree with lawful prerequisites
Work with constant improvement
ISO 45001 is the new worldwide norm for an OHSMS. While it is like OHSAS 18001, the new ISO 45001 standards takes on the Annex SL high-level structure of all new and re-examined ISO the board framework guidelines.
ISO 45001 can be lined up with other administration frameworks principles, for example, ISO 9001:2015 and ISO 14001:2015. ISO 45001 was distributed in March 2018.
ISO 45001:2018 indicates prerequisites for an Occupational Health and safety (OH&S) executive's framework and gives direction for its utilization, to empower associations to give protected and healthy environments by preventing business-related injury and ill health, by further developing its OH&S execution.
ISO 45001:2018 is suitable to any organization that wanted to establish, implement and maintain the occupational health and safety management systems to improve occupational health and safety, and thereby prevent hazards and minimize occupational health and safety risks),
The Organization which implements ISO 45001:2018 achieves the intended outcomes of the occupational health and safety management system. Outcomes of an OH&S management system include:
a) Ceaseless improvement of OH&S execution;
b) Satisfaction of legitimate necessities and different prerequisites;
c) Accomplishment of OH&S targets
ISO 45001:2018 is appropriate to any association no matter what its size, type and exercises. It is applicable to the occupational health and safety hazards under the association's influence, considering elements, such as the context in which the organization operates and the needs and expectations of its workers and other interested parties.
ISO 45001:2018 doesn't state explicit models for OH&S execution, nor is it prescriptive with regards to the plan of an OH&S the executive's framework.
ISO 45001:2018 empowers an association, through its OH&S management system, to coordinate different parts of wellbeing and security, like labourer health/prosperity.
ISO 45001:2018 doesn't resolve issues, for example, item wellbeing, property harm or ecological effects, beyond the risks to workers and other relevant interested parties.
ISO 45001:2018 can be utilized as a whole or partially to improve occupational health and safety management system. Be that as it may, cases of adjustment to this report are not ok,unlessif every one of its prerequisites is fused into an association's OH&S management system and satisfied without prohibition
Components of an effective OHS management system:
The executive's authority and responsibility.
Distinguishing dangers and overseeing hazard.
Investigation of premises, gear, working environments.
Investigation of incidents
Joint wellbeing and security council and agents
Word related wellbeing and security programs
Some of the example of occupational health services includes employee wellness, pre-placement testing, ergonomics, occupational therapy, occupational medicine, and more. In several organizations there are occupational workers who take care of people wellbeing at work – physically and mentally. Occupational health services will help keep your employees healthy and safe in work and manage any risks in the workplace that are likely to give rise to work-related ill health
Contact [email protected] 9845313910 for further information
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WHAT BENEFITS CAN WE GET FROM RECYCLING MATERIALS ? | slim_pajama |
detection and further experimental reconfirmation of current cosmic acceleration pose to cosmology a fundamental task of identifying and revealing the cause of such phenomenon . in light of this cosmological models with spinor field
being the source of gravitational field attracts widespread interest in recent time @xcite .
it was shown that a suitable choice of spinor field nonlinearity + ( i ) accelerates the isotropization process @xcite ; + ( ii ) gives rise to a singularity - free universe @xcite and + ( iii ) generates late time acceleration @xcite .
question that naturally pops up is , if the spinor field can redraw the picture of evolution caused by perfect fluid and dark energy , is it possible to simulate perfect fluid and dark energy by means of a spinor field ?
affirmative answer to this question was given in the a number of papers @xcite .
in those papers the authors have shown that different types of perfect fluid and dark energy can be described by nonlinear spinor field .
in @xcite we used two types of nonlinearity , one occurs as a result of self - action and the other resulted from the interaction between the spinor and scalar field .
it was shown that the case with induced nonlinearity is the partial one and can be derived from the case with self - action .
in @xcite we give the description of generalized chaplygin gas and modified quintessence @xcite in terms of spinor field and study the evolution of the universe filled with nonlinear spinor field within the scope of a bianchi type - i cosmological model .
the purpose of this paper is to extend that study within the scope of a isotropic and homogeneous frw cosmological model .
in this section we simulate different types of perfect fluid and dark energy by means of a nonlinear spinor field .
let us first write the spinor field lagrangian @xcite : @xmath0 - m{\bar \psi}\psi + f , \label{lspin}\ ] ] where the nonlinear term @xmath1 describes the self - action of a spinor field and can be presented as some arbitrary functions of invariant generated from the real bilinear forms of a spinor field . for simplicity
we consider the case when @xmath2 with @xmath3 . here
@xmath4 is the covariant derivative of spinor field : @xmath5 with @xmath6 being the spinor affine connection . varying with respect to @xmath7
one finds the spinor field equations : [ speq ] @xmath8 variation of with respect to metric function gives energy - momentum tensor for the spinor field @xmath9 where @xmath10 in account of spinor field equations and takes the form @xmath11 we consider the case when the spinor field depends on @xmath12 only . in this case for the components of energy - momentum tensor we find @xmath13 a detailed study of nonlinear spinor field was carried out in @xcite . in
what follows , exploiting the equation of states we find the concrete form of @xmath1 which describes various types of perfect fluid and dark energy .
first of all let us note that one of the simplest and popular model of the universe is a homogeneous and isotropic one filled with a perfect fluid with the energy density @xmath14 and pressure @xmath15 obeying the barotropic equation of state @xmath16 where @xmath17 is a constant .
depending on the value of @xmath17 describes perfect fluid from phantom to ekpyrotic matter , namely [ zeta ] @xmath18 the barotropic model of perfect fluid is used to study the evolution of the universe .
most recently the relation is exploited to generate a quintessence in order to explain the accelerated expansion of the universe @xcite . in order to describe the matter given by with a spinor field
let us now substitute @xmath19 and @xmath20 with @xmath21 and @xmath22 , respectively .
thus , inserting @xmath14 and @xmath23 from and into we find @xmath24 with the solution @xmath25 here @xmath26 is an integration constant . inserting into we find that @xmath27 since energy density should be non - negative , we conclude that @xmath26 is a negative constant , i.e. , @xmath28 , with @xmath29 being a positive constant .
so finally we can write the components of the energy momentum tensor @xmath30 as one sees , the energy density @xmath14 is always positive , while the pressure @xmath31 is positive for @xmath32 , i.e. , for usual fluid and negative for @xmath33 , i.e. for dark energy .
in account of it the spinor field lagrangian now reads @xmath0 - \nu s^{1+w } , \label{lspin1}\ ] ] thus a massless spinor field with the lagrangian describes perfect fluid from phantom to ekpyrotic matter . here
the constant of integration @xmath29 can be viewed as constant of self - coupling .
a detailed analysis of this study was given in @xcite .
an alternative model for the dark energy density was used by kamenshchik _
@xcite , where the authors suggested the use of some perfect fluid but obeying `` exotic '' equation of state .
this type of matter is known as _ chaplygin gas_. the fate of density perturbations in a universe dominated by the chaplygin gas , which exhibit negative pressure was studied by fabris _
_ @xcite . model with chaplygin gas was also studied in the refs .
@xcite .
let us now generate a chaplygin gas by means of a spinor field .
a chaplygin gas is usually described by a equation of state @xmath34 then in case of a massless spinor field for @xmath1 one finds @xmath35 with the solution @xmath36 on account of this for the components of energy momentum tensor we find @xmath37 as was expected , we again get positive energy density and negative pressure .
thus the spinor field lagrangian corresponding to a chaplygin gas reads @xmath0 - \bigl(a + \lambda s^{1+\gamma}\bigr)^{1/(1+\gamma)}. \label{lspin2}\ ] ] setting @xmath38 we find the result obtained in @xcite . finally , we simulate modified quintessence with a nonlinear spinor field .
it should be noted that one of the problems that face models with dark energy is that of eternal acceleration . in order
to get rid of that problem quintessence with a modified equation of state was proposed which is given by @xcite @xmath39 here @xmath40 some critical energy density .
setting @xmath41 one obtains ordinary quintessence .
it is well known that as the universe expands the ( dark ) energy density decreases . as a result ,
being a linear negative function of energy density , the corresponding pressure begins to increase . in case of an ordinary quintessence
the pressure is always negative , but for a modified quintessence as soon as @xmath42 becomes less than the critical one , the pressure becomes positive . inserting @xmath14 and @xmath23 into we find @xmath43 with @xmath44 being a positive constant . on account of this for the components of energy momentum tensor we find
@xmath45 we see that a nonlinear spinor field with specific type of nonlinearity can substitute perfect fluid and dark energy , thus give rise to a variety of evolution scenario of the universe .
in the previous section we showed that the perfect fluid and the dark energy can be simulated by a nonlinear spinor field . in the section ii the nonlinearity was the subject to self - action .
in @xcite we have also considered the case when the nonlinearity was induced by a scalar field .
it was also shown the in our context the results for induced nonlinearity is some special cases those of self - interaction . taking it into mind we study the evolution an universe filled with a nonlinear spinor field given by the lagrangian , with the nonlinear term @xmath1 is given by , and .
we consider the anisotropic universe given by the bianchi type - i ( bi ) space - time @xmath46 with @xmath47 being the functions of @xmath12 only .
the einstein equations for bi metric read [ bie ] @xmath48 where dot denotes differentiation by @xmath12 . from the spinor field equation
, it can be shown that @xcite @xmath49 where we define @xmath50 for the components of the spinor field we obtain @xmath51 where @xmath52 . solving the einstein equation for the metric functions one finds @xcite @xmath53 with the constants @xmath54 and @xmath55 obeying @xmath56 thus the components of the spinor field and metric functions
are expressed in terms of @xmath57 . from the einstein equations one finds the equation for @xmath57 @xcite @xmath58 in case of on account of eq .
takes the form @xmath59 with the solution in quadrature @xmath60 here @xmath61 and @xmath62 are the integration constants . in the figs .
[ spinpf_pf1 ] and [ spinpf_de1 ] we have plotted the evolution of the universe defined by the nonlinear spinor field corresponding to perfect fluid and dark energy @xcite .
let us consider the case when the spinor field is given by the lagrangian .
the equation for @xmath57 now reads @xmath63,\ ] ] with the solution @xmath64 inserting @xmath38 we come to the result obtained in @xcite .
finally we consider the case with modified quintessence . in this case for @xmath57
we find @xmath65,\ ] ] with the solution in quadrature @xmath66 + c_1 } } = t + t_0 . \label{qdmq}\ ] ] here @xmath61 and @xmath62 are the integration constants . comparing with those with a negative @xmath67-term we see that @xmath40 plays the role of a negative cosmological constant . in the fig .
[ spinpf_mqep1 ] we have illustrated the dynamics of energy density and pressure of a modified quintessence . in the fig .
[ spinpf_mq1 ] the evolution of the universe defined by the nonlinear spinor field corresponding to a modified quintessence has been presented .
as one sees , in the case considered , acceleration alternates with declaration . in this case
the universe can be either singular ( that ends in big crunch ) or regular .
let us now consider the homogeneous and isotropic frw cosmological model with the metric @xmath68 corresponding einstein equations read [ efrw ] @xmath69 from the spinor field equation in this case we find @xmath70 the components of the spinor field in this case take the form @xmath71 where @xmath52 .
in order to find the solution that satisfies both and we rewrite in view of in the following form : @xmath72 further we solve this equation for concrete choice of source field .
let us consider the case of perfect fluid given by the barotropic equation of state .
in account of , and takes the form @xmath73 that admits the first integral @xmath74 in fig . [ spinpf_pf_frw ] and
[ spinpf_phan_frw ] we plot the evolution of the frw universe for different values of @xmath17 .
as one sees , equation imposes no restriction on the value of @xmath17 .
but it is not the case , when one solves . indeed , inserting @xmath21 from into one finds @xmath75 where @xmath76 and @xmath77 with @xmath78 being some arbitrary constant .
this solution identically satisfies the equation .
as one sees , case with @xmath79 , can not be realized here . in that case one
has to solve the equation straight forward .
as far as phantom matter ( @xmath80 ) is concerned , there occurs some restriction on the value of @xmath78 , as in this case @xmath81 is negative and for the @xmath61 to be positive , @xmath78 should be negative . as one can easily verify , in case of cosmological constant with @xmath79 eqn .
gives @xmath82 inserting and into in case of chaplygin gas we have the following equation @xmath83 we solve this equation numerically .
the corresponding solution has been illustrated in fig .
[ spinpf_pf_frw ] .
finally we consider the case with modified quintessence . inserting and into in this case we find @xmath84 , \label{frwmq}\ ] ] with he solution @xmath85 , \quad e_2 = { \rm const}. \label{dda2}\ ] ] in fig .
[ spinpf_mqep1_frw ] we plot the dynamics of energy density and pressure .
[ spinpf_mq_frw ] shows the evolution of a frw universe filled with modified quintessence .
as one sees , in case of modified quintessence the pressure is sign alternating . as a result
we have a cyclic mode of evolution .
within the framework of cosmological gravitational field equivalence between the perfect fluid ( and dark energy ) and nonlinear spinor field has been established .
it is shown that different types of dark energy can be simulated by means of a nonlinear spinor field . using the new description of perfect fluid or dark energy evolution of the universe has been studied within the scope of a bi and frw models . | arxiv |
Digimon Maybe hints aren't enough: Dai's Story
Disclaimer: Nothing lost. Nothing gained. I don't gain any money from making this fic', you don't sue me 'cause I have no money to lose to you =P I own nothing, apart from my pc and games consoles, and a few books. All characters/settings are the property of various people, none of them me or anyone associated with me.
PLEASE REVIEW!!!
This is just a short piece of fanfiction I wrote while I was in I.T. class. Written about how Daisuke felt in 'Mabye Hints Aren't Enough' (https://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1443602). Please read that, if you haven't already and review. This is quite strange for me, as i'm writing a side story, before the original is completed.
PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Mabye Hints Aren't Enough: Daisuke's Story
A dark haired boy sat, underneath the tree. 'Their tree' he thought the tree that Takeru Takaishi, his rival for the affections of Hikari Yagami, sat under with this girl…his girl as far as he was concerned. Until he saw the way she looked at him, but why had she agreed to this date then? Even if she insisted, she asked Takeru along, since he was a fellow digidestined and friend. She stated 'All three of us, haven't done something together for such a long time!'
Daisuke laughed silently to himself - he wasn't as stupid as people thought. He realised Hikari liked Takeru; just he didn't want to give up on his feelings for Hikari. It was more than people thought; he loved her.
Everyone thought he was obsessed with Hikari, wanting her based on lust alone. He would willingly admit that he would give almost anything for a chance with her, just for a night, but he loved her for being the light in his life. The boy, who was slowly maturing into a young man wanted more than that.
Daisuke Motomiya wanted Hikari Yagami to look at him, like she did Takeru. He wanted her love. His rival was undeserving; he did not act on Hikari's affections. He seemed unsure of whether, to try and love this angel.
A new thought entered his mind. More evidence as to whether Hikari's reasoning to bring Takeru along was true; 'why didn't she want to bring Iori and Miyako along, if she wanted us digidestined to do something together, we haven't all done anything together in ages'.
He sighed out loud, when he turned around to see the object of his affections, walking towards him. Daisuke put on his trademark goofy grin and greeted her loudly. She smiled at him, and inwardly he cringed, kept on his smile and started to walk with her, to their 'date'.
End file.
| fanfiction |
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strategies to prevent the progression from impaired glucose tolerance to overt ( principally type 2 ) diabetes in middle - aged and older adults have been developed by a number of groups worldwide , drawing on the results of major randomised controlled trials [ 13 ] .
women with previous gestational diabetes ( gdm ) are known to be at high risk of progression to type 2 diabetes .
however , strategies for diabetes prevention for women with previous gdm in the period immediately following pregnancy are less well defined .
the tripod and pipod studies demonstrated that thiazolidinedione ( tzd ) therapy could delay progression to diabetes in a high risk group of women .
some benefits have also been suggested for metformin by ratner and colleagues in women with previous gdm ( mean age at study entry 43 years ) who participated in the diabetes prevention program ( dpp ) . in women with previous gdm ,
metformin led to a 50% reduction of the risk of progression from impaired glucose tolerance to overt diabetes , whereas lifestyle intervention was associated with a 53% risk reduction .
however , medication - based strategies may not be appropriate for women of child - bearing age and are unlikely to be feasible or desirable on a broader scale .
anecdotally , the pressures of caring for a new baby tend to dominate the early postpartum period , with australian women potentially experiencing difficulty focusing on their own long - term health , and specifically their exercise , in this context .
this belief is supported by a recent qualitative study conducted in the usa that found that having young children / child was a major barrier to an active lifestyle in the first 12 months postpartum .
our recent work has demonstrated that women with previous gdm frequently have ongoing deficits in health promoting physical activity .
by contrast , the recent findings of retnakaran et al . were more positive , suggesting some improvement in physical activity following a gdm pregnancy .
changes in lifestyle patterns at this time might potentially prove to be valuable in preventing longer term progression towards diabetes , as well as influencing the woman 's entire family towards adopting health promoting behaviours .
however , cheung et al . have reported little success with a group intervention that used patient - centred counselling or more recently with a pedometer - linked programme .
in contrast , several intervention studies based on the social cognitive theory have demonstrated success in increasing and even maintaining physical activity among individuals with type 2 diabetes .
this pilot study sought to evaluate the feasibility and efficacy of an individualised programme , based on the social cognitive theory , to assist women to be more physically active in the early post natal period .
the study was registered with the australian and new zealand clinical trials registry : actrn 12608000280303 .
seventy - two women were approached to join the trial prior to six weeks postpartum .
forty - three women refused participation and one was excluded due to detection of overt diabetes on the entry oral glucose tolerance test ( ogtt ) , leaving 28 randomised participants . at six weeks after delivery of the index pregnancy complicated by gdm , participants underwent baseline assessment .
parameters assessed included a 75 g ogtt , fasting insulin , body weight and height using standardised instruments , and body composition using bioimpedance methodology .
insulin resistance was estimated using the homa - ir equation ( homa - ir = fasting insulin ( u / ml ) fasting glucose ( mmol / l)/22.5 ) .
the usual care group ( uc , n = 13 ) received brief printed materials outlining the importance of diet and exercise for the prevention of future diabetes . the supported care ( sc , n = 15 ) group underwent an initial face - to - face consultation with an exercise physiologist where specific , individualised goals for initiating and maintaining regular health - enhancing physical activity were developed . consistent with
current physical activity guidelines a physical activity target of 150 mins / wk was set , to be achieved gradually over the 12 weeks intervention through activities acceptable to the individual .
the exercise physiologist contacted each woman in the sc group weekly by telephone for the next four weeks and then every 2 weeks thereafter to assess progress , promote accountability , and to provide tailored expert support for recognising and overcoming experienced constraints to physical activity behaviour change .
twelve weeks following baseline assessment ( total 18 weeks postpartum ) , both groups underwent repeat examinations as noted above , except that samples for fasting glucose and insulin alone were taken without a repeat ogtt .
secondary outcomes were change in insulin resistance ( homa ir ) , change in weight , and changes in body composition .
statistical analyses were performed using data from those women who completed both assessments n = 11 uc and n = 14 sc women .
all comparisons between the uc and sc groups consider differences between these groups in the change or delta
( delta = value18 weeks post partum value6 weeks post partum ) in each variable between six and 18 weeks postpartum .
statistical comparisons have been performed using unpaired t - tests for normally distributed variables and mann whitney u tests for nonnormally distributed variables .
significance was accepted at the 5% level for two - tailed analysis for all variables .
typical of an australian gdm cohort , the women were generally in their early thirties and their mean body mass index ( bmi ) at six weeks postpartum was in the obese range .
importantly there were no significant differences between the study groups demographic , physical activity or insulin resistance at baseline ( see table 1 ) .
two uc and one sc participant dropped out of the study prior to the follow - up assessment .
consistent with previous studies , the physical activity data were nonnormally distributed ( see table 2 ) .
median ( range ) planned physical activity increased by 60 ( 0540 ) mins / wk in the sc group versus 0 ( 0580 ) mins / wk in the uc group , but this change was not statistically significant ( p = 0.234 , mann - whitney u test ) .
the change observed in the sc group 's physical activity comprised mostly increased planned walking .
a pre defined categorical analysis examined differences between sc and uc groups in the proportion of women increasing planned physical activity by > 60 mins / wk ; 67% of women who received sc achieved this criterion compared to 31% of women who received uc . despite this
, most women regardless of group allocation failed to reach the recommended physical activity level of 150 mins / wk ( see table 2 ) .
metabolic assessments revealed no changes in weight or insulin resistance in either group ( see table 2 ) .
breast feeding status ( full / partial / nil ) was also noted at six and 18 weeks postpartum . weight loss and
open - ended feedback regarding the intervention programme was obtained from the sc group . whilst most women responded positively to the programme ,
many commented that the starting point of six weeks postpartum was too early for maximum benefit , as they were still adapting to life with a new baby and found it difficult to focus on personal lifestyle changes such as increasing physical activity at that time .
this pilot study was designed to evaluate and refine a potential early postpartum intervention designed to increase physical activity in women with previous gestational diabetes for future dissemination and evaluation .
our findings suggest that a postpartum programme designed to encourage and assist women with prior gdm to be more physically active is feasible .
specific strengths of our study included the randomized design and good overall retention of participants .
weaknesses included relatively poor recruitment rates , anecdotally contributed to by the predominance of baby - related concerns in early postpartum period , short duration of followup , and small total study cohort .
as noted in tables 1 and 2 , there was great variability in physical activity both at baseline and at followup , with many women reporting essentially zero planned physical activity .
the variance in all biophysical study measures was large , in particular for homa - ir where the standard deviations approached or exceeded the mean values . in designing future studies
, it may be worthwhile to stratify women according to bmi at entry , as this is likely to be a major factor influencing the degree of insulin resistance .
anecdotally , women were happy that their potential health problems were being addressed in an organised programme . although changes in physical activity between groups did not reach statistical significance , the proportion of women increasing their physical activity by > 60 mins / wk in the sc group was twice that of women in the uc group . if confirmed in a larger study sample and maintained over a longer period of time , this would provide significant health benefits .
commencement of programmes designed to increase physical activity in the early postpartum period has some potential advantages in terms of capitalizing on the increased motivation often seen in pregnancy .
however , the focus of attention frequently shifts to the baby at this stage , making alterations in ingrained maternal behaviours potentially difficult to achieve .
the emotional stress of adapting to a new baby and the fear of receiving a diagnosis of diabetes are key barriers to follow - up care for gdm .
as noted previously , other studies of interventions in the postpartum period [ 1012 ] have met with limited and variable success and the optimal timing and content of postpartum programmes remains undefined .
group - based programmes may help increase motivation [ 11 , 12 ] but achieving buy in and maintaining participation appears challenging . despite the theoretical advantage of commencing diabetes prevention at an earlier stage of pathophysiology
, practical barriers may make women more resistant to change at this stage of the life cycle . despite some evidence of increased physical activity ,
measures of glucose metabolism were not altered by this intervention over a three - month period .
this was not unexpected given the small sample size and short duration of the study , but we noted absolutely no trends in favour of metabolic improvement .
although early postpartum breast feeding status did not appear to influence our findings , the potential importance of breast feeding in longer term diabetes prevention has also been noted in a recent review .
alternatively , one could argue in favour of pharmacologic prevention of progression towards diabetes following gdm , citing the results of the tripod , pipod , and dpp studies .
however , thiazolidinediones are rapidly disappearing from the pharmacotherapy of type 2 diabetes due to an unfavourable risk / benefit profile and their potential use in diabetes prevention appears severely limited .
metformin was reported to be equally efficacious as an intensive diet / lifestyle programme in women with previous gdm who participated in the dpp , but this finding relates to much older women ( mean age 46 years at study entry ) , rather than those in the early postpartum period . for large scale intervention , lifestyle measures appear intrinsically more attractive , though metformin may still deserve consideration in those struggling to make effective lifestyle changes .
further research is warranted to improve the physical activity levels and general health of women with previous gdm .
we suggest that studies combining physical activity and dietary interventions may potentially offer greater benefits and we are currently planning such studies , using the pilot data reported in this paper .
we hope that our findings will also assist other researchers in determining in the design and conduct of more definitive studies , in particular by allowing pre hoc power calculations to be performed in a more robust fashion . | pubmed |
Why does a star beyond a certain mass limit (Chandrasekhar limit) only become a black hole?
Why does a star beyond a certain mass limit ([Chandrasekhar limit](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chandrasekhar_limit)) only become a black hole?
A star is first made of hydrogen, it undergoes nuclear fussion reaction combining into helium and releasing a large amount of energy. This process continues till star is made up of iron core as iron has largest value of binding energy per nucleon, after this if mass of the star is above the value of Chandrasekhar limit it becomes a black star, what is the reason for this and why is certain mass limit required?
You are a little confused in your stellar evolution model. After the ignition of hydrogen fusion in the core of a star, it will next progress to helium fusion, then to carbon/oxygen fusion via the [triple-alpha process](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple-alpha_process) (I've skipped a lot of steps and details there, if you want the details you can look at either Hansen & Kawaler's *Stellar Interiors* text or Dina Prialnik's *Introduction to Stellar Structure* text). What happens next is mass-dependent (using $M\_\odot\simeq2\cdot10^{33}$ g and the mass of the star as $M\_\star$):
* $M\_\star\gtrsim 8M\_\odot$
+ able to continue fusion in the core
+ will later blow up in core-collapse supernova events, producing either a neutron star or a black hole (mass-dependent) after forming iron in the core
* $M\_\star\in(\sim0.5,\,\sim8)M\_\odot$
+ **unable to continue fusion in the core** due to insufficient temperatures
+ will proceed into the [planetary nebula](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planetary_nebula) phase (which has nothing to do with forming planets, but it's discoverer, [William Herschel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Herschel), thought that it was a planetary system forming)
+ **these stars form the white dwarfs that the Chandrasekhar limit applies to**
* $M\_\star\lesssim0.5M\_\odot$
+ unable to produce helium in the core (insufficient temperatures)
+ expected to continue burning hydrogen for $t\_{burn}>t\_{age\,of\,universe}$
Thus, **not every star produces iron in the core**; this only applies to stars with mass $\gtrsim8M\_\odot$.
The Chandrasekhar limit arises from comparing the gravitational forces to an $n=3$ [polytrope](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polytrope) (see [this nice tool](http://www.webnucleo.org/home/online_tools/polytrope/0.8/html/about_this_tool/tutorials/max_mass.shp.cgi) from Dr Bradley Meyer at [Clemson University](http://www.clemson.edu/) on polytropes)--polytropes basically mean $P=k\rho^{\gamma}$ where $P$ is the pressure, $k$ some constant, $\rho$ the mass density and $\gamma$ the adiabatic index.
That is, in order to find the limit, you need to use the hydrostatic pressure,
$$
4\pi r^3P=\frac32\frac{GM^2}{r}\tag{1}
$$
and insert the pressure of the polytrope of index $n=3$ (requires numerically solving the [Lane-Emden equation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lane%E2%80%93Emden_equation)) and then solving (1) for the mass, $M$. If you've done it correctly, you'll find $M\_{ch}=1.44M\_\odot$.
The Chandrasekhar mass is *not* the dividing line between those stellar remnants that will become black holes and those that will become something else.
A compact, cold white dwarf (i.e. one supported by electron degeneracy pressure) may become unstable and collapse at close to the value of $M\_{Ch}=1.44(\mu\_e/2)^{-2}M\_{\odot}$, where $\mu\_{e}$ is the number of mass units per free electron ($\mu\_e=2$ for Carbon or Oxygen) and derived using simple Newtonian mechanics. [In fact the Chandrasekhar mass is likely lower because of (i) electrostatic Coulomb corrections to the equation of state; (ii) inverse beta decay inducing instability and/or (iii) General Relativistic instability at finite density].
Anyhow, it's probably between 1.3 and 1.4 solar masses for a carbon/oxygen WD. If a white dwarf gained more mass than this it would either explode as a type Ia supernova or collapse to form a stable neutron star (e.g. [Fryer et al. 1999](https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1086/307119/fulltext/35822.text.html)); and certainly would not form a black hole.
The scenario described in the question is of a star forming an iron core. In this case $\mu\_e =56/26$ and $M\_{Ch}$ calculated from ideal electron degeneracy pressure is more like 1.24$M\_{\odot}$ and reduced even further to 1.06$M\_{\odot}$ by inverse beta decay instability. (e.g. [Boshkayev et al. 2018](https://arxiv.org/abs/1204.2070)).
If the core exceeds this value it will collapse, but that does not mean a black hole will form. The most likely outcome, at least for progenitor masses $<20-30M\_{\odot}$ may be the formation of a neutron star supported by the strong nuclear repulsion between closely-packed neutrons. The dividing line between those objects that become black holes and those that become neutron stars is *highly* uncertain and may depend strongly on other factors like rotation.
| stackexchange/physics |
What is the probability of measuring $p$ in the momentum space?
I have a wave function $\Psi (x,t)$. According to the Max Born postulate, $\lvert\Psi (x,t)\rvert ^2$ is the probability density. This quantity specifies the probability, per length of the $x$ axis, of finding the particle near the coordinate $x$ at time $t$.
If at $t=0$ I make a Fourier transform for the momentum space, $$\phi(p)=\frac{1}{\sqrt{2 \pi \hbar}} \int \_{-\infty} ^{+\infty} \psi(x)e^{-ipx/\hbar} dx$$ does $\vert\phi(p)\rvert ^2$ specifies the probability of finding the particle near the momentum $p$ at time $t=0 \hspace{1mm}$?
In this sense, given $\Psi(x,t)$, how could I write $\phi(p)$ at any time $t$, i.e. $\Phi(p,t)\hspace{1mm}$?
You’re exactly right: $|\phi(p)|^2$ gives the probability of measuring momentum $p$ at time $t=0$. An analogous relation holds for the time-dependent case:
$$\Phi(p,t)=\frac{1}{\sqrt{2\pi\hbar}}\int\_{-\infty}^{\infty}dx e^{-i px/\hbar}\Psi(x,t)$$
This is simply due to the fact that one independently transforms between position and momentum space and between time and frequency space.
For a “proof” that this is the case, consider:
$$\Phi(p,t)=\langle p|\Psi(t)\rangle=\int \_{-\infty}^{\infty}dx \langle p|x\rangle\langle x|\Psi(t)\rangle= \int \_{-\infty}^{\infty}dx \langle p|x\rangle \Psi(x,t)$$
Now, note that a free particle momentum eigenstate in the position basis is a plane wave $\langle x|p\rangle= \frac{1}{\sqrt{2\pi\hbar}} e^{i px/\hbar} $, so $\langle p|x\rangle=\langle x|p\rangle^\*= \frac{1}{\sqrt{2\pi\hbar}} e^{-i px/\hbar}$. Finally then, we arrive at:
$$ \boxed{ \Phi(p,t)= \frac{1}{\sqrt{2\pi\hbar}} \int \_{-\infty}^{\infty}dx e^{-i px/\hbar} \Psi(x,t)}$$
| stackexchange/physics |
Traditionally we've been an all CAT company, but with Kubotas latest offering, we couldn't help but go Orange when it came time to purchase a new 5.5T Excavator.
And here it is – the much-anticipated, fully featured, brand spanking new 5.5T Kubota U55-4. Affectionately known henceforth as the 'Carrot'! This animal has all the latest and greatest bells and whistles that make it feel at home in the tightest of jobs right through to large commercial excavations. With class leading breakout force, it punches well above its weight (similar to other brand's 8T models) yet enjoys the smaller form factor and zero turn features of the 5T class.
First and foremost is the Toku 5M Hydraulic Hammer. From the chisel up, the Toku hammers are designed to provide maximum power transfer, and when coupled with their 'optimal piston design' and 'nitrogen charged recoil chamber', they deliver world leading break force and reliability.
Second comes one of our all time favourites. The Embrey HDR40 Hydraulic Grapple. Having used its smaller brother extensively on our CAT 2.4T excavator, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to fit the Carrot up with a bigger, meaner and more powerful version. We're yet to put it to the test, so if you have something you want demolished, crushed, ripped apart or just generally destroyed, please call IMMEDIATELY. As you may have guessed, we're very keen to see what it can do!
Last but not least is a full complement of EI Engineering buckets. We dug deep (pun fully intended) and picked up 350mm & 450mm GP buckets with optional Tiger Teeth. The Tiger Teeth are specifically designed to rip into and break up 'fracturable' rock. We also picked up a 1500mm mud bucket and Ripper Tyne to make sure we have all the options covered.
It's important to have the right tool for the job, and keeping your tools happy is critical – so we made sure the Carrot had a few luxury items to keep the boys nice and comfy (hopefully you can see what I did there 🙂 – sorry boys!). The cab is fitted with Air Conditioning, Heating, Bluetooth Stereo, Vanity Mirror (I know right?!?! quick make-up check before stepping out of the cab??) and all the windows are tinted to ensure no one gets fried during the hotter months.
For the full details on the Carrots dimensions and accessories, check out our Equipment page. If you've got a job that you think could use the Carrot, don't hesitate to call! | slim_pajama |
9 drukier a and stodolsky l 1984 _ phys . rev . _ * d 30 * , 2295 ; canbrea b , krauss l m and wilczek f 1985 _ phys .
lett . _ * 55 * , 25 ; barbeau p et al .
2003 _ ieee tran .
sci . _ * 50 * , 1285 ; hagmann c and bernstein a , 2004 _ ieee tran .
sci . _ * 51 * , 2151 .
krauss l m 1991 _ phys .
_ b * 269 * , 407 ; barranco j , miranda o g and rashba t i 2005 _ j. high energy phys .
_ * 12 * , 021 ; papavassiliou j , bernabu j and passera m 2005 _ preprint _ hep - ph/0512029 ; scholberg k 2006 _ phys
. rev . _ * d 73 * , 033005 . | arxiv |
ADAPTATION
by
Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman
adapted from the book
THE ORCHID THIEF
by
Susan Orlean
Revised - November 21, 2000 EXT. PLANET - DAY1 1
SUBTITLE : THE EARTH
From space the Ea rth is brown and meteor-scarre d. We move in *
until we are on its endlessly barren and lif eless surface.
The atmosphere is hazy, toxic-lo oking. V olcanoes erupt.
Meteors bombard. Lightning strikes, c oncussing mu rky pools
of water. All this in silence.
INT. LARGE EMPTY LIVING ROOM - MORNING 2 2
SUBTITLE : HOLLYWOOD, CA, FOU R BILLION AND F ORTY YEARS LATER
Beamed ceiling, ostentatious fir eplace. A f ew birthday cards *
on the mantel, two of them identica l: "To Our Dear Son on His
Fortieth Birthday ." Charlie Kaufma n, a fat, baldi ng man in a
purple sweater wi th tags still atta ched, paces. His
incantational voice- over carpets this and every scene he's *
in. It is at times barely audible, bu t always present. *
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
I'm old. I'm fat. I'm bald. *
(reaches for n otebook, catches
sight of bare feet)
My toenails have turned st range. I am *
old. I am -- *
(flips through notebook, paces)
I have nothing. She 'll think I'm an *
idiot. Why co uldn't I stay on that diet? *
She'll pretend not to be disappointed,
but I'll see that look, that look -- *
(passes mirror, g lances quickly
at reflection, looks away)
God, I'm repulsive.
(another glance) *
But as repulsive as I think? My Body *
Dysmorphic Disorder confuses everything.
I mean, I know people call me Fatty *
behind my back. Or Fatso. Or,
facetiously, Slim. But I also realize *
this is my own perverted form of self-
aggrandizement, t hat no one talks about
me at all. What possible interest is an
old, bald, fat ma n to anyone? *
EXT. STATE ROAD 29 - DAWN 3 3
A lonely two-l ane highway cut ting through swampland.
(CONTINUED)BRITISH NARRATOR
As natural select ion works solely by and
for the good of each being, a ll corporeal
and mental endowments w ill tend to
progress towar ds perfection.
Suddenly, a beat- up white van ba rrels around a curve. It's
followed close ly by an old green Ford.
SUBTITLE : STATE ROAD 2 9, FLORIDA, FIVE YEARS EARLIER
INT. WHITE VAN - CONTINUOUS 4 4
John Laroche, a skin ny man with no front teeth, drives. The *
van is piled with bags of pottin g soil, gard ening junk. A
Writings of Charles Darwin audio cassett e case is on the seat
next to Laroche.
BRITISH NARRATOR
It is interesting to contemplate an
entangled bank , clothed wi th many plants
of many kinds, wi th birds singing...
Laroche tries to contem plate the plants and birds whizzing
by. Almost too late, he spot s the Fakahatchee Strand State
Preserve sign and makes a squealing right o nto the dirt road
turn-off. The cassette case flies from the seat and half-
buries itself in an open bag of peat.
INT. GREEN FORD - CONTINUOUS 5 5
Nirvana blasts. Russ ell, Vinson, and Randy, three young
Indian men, pa ss a joint and watch the errat ic van ahead.
RUSSELL
Laroche is asleep at the wheel.
RANDY
Crazy White Man is now Drowsy White Man.
They share a stoned laugh.
EXT. NEW YORK OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT 6 6
SUBTITLE : NEW YORKER MAGAZINE, TWO YEARS LATER
Late night street. The click-click of typing. We move
slowly up the building to the on ly glowing window. pg. 2
CONTINUED:3 3
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN (O.S.)
(wistful)
John Laroche is a ta ll guy, skinny as a
stick, pale-ey ed, slouch-shou ldered and
sharply handsome despite the fac t that he
is missing all his front teeth. *
INT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 7 7
We glide over a desk piled with orchid books, past a photo of *
Laroche tacked to an overwhelmed bulletin board , and come to
rest on a woman typing. It's Susan Orlea n: pale, delicate
and blond. We lo se ourselves in her melanch oly beauty.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
I went to Florida tw o years a go to write *
a piece for th e New Yorker. It was after *
reading a smal l article ab out a white man *
and three S eminole men arr ested with rare
orchids they'd stolen out of a place
called... *
INT. RANGER'S TRUCK - MID-MORNING 8 8
Tony, a ranger, drives past the Fakahatchee S trand State *
Preserve sign and ente rs the swamp. He sees the white van
and Ford parked ahead, spots a S eminole license plate on the
Ford. He pulls o ver down the ro ad, whispers into his C.B. *
TONY
We got Semi noles, in the swamp.
Tony waits for a res ponse. Nothing.
TONY (cont'd)
I repeat, I ndians in the swamp.
Tony clears his t hroat into the radio.
RADIO VOICE
I don't know what you want me to say.
TONY
Barry, Indians do not go on swamp walks.
If there are Indians in th e swamp, they
are in there for a reason.
No response. Tony g lowers, gets out of the truck, watches
the vehicles t hrough binoculars. N othing. He straightens
his cap. M osquitoes land on his neck, his nose, his lips. pg. 3
CONTINUED:6 6INT. L.A. BUSINES S LUNCH REST AURANT - MIDDAY 9 9
Kaufman, weari ng his purple sweater sans tags, sits with
Valerie, an attra ctive woman in wire-rim glasses. They pick
at salads. Ka ufman steals glanc es at her lips, her hair, her
breasts. She loo ks up at him. He bl anches, looks down. *
KAUFMAN
She looked at my hai rline. She thinks *
I'm old. S he thinks I'm f at. She -- *
VALERIE
We think yo u're great. *
KAUFMAN
Oh, thanks, wo w. That's n ice to hear.
A rivulet of sw eat slides down his f orehead. Va lerie watches *
it. Kaufman sees her watching it. She sees him seeing her
watching it. She looks at her sala d. He qu ickly swabs.
VALERIE
We all just loved the Malkovi ch script. *
KAUFMAN
Thank you. That's... I ap preciate that. *
VALERIE
(still looking at her salad)
Such a unique voi ce. Boy, I'd love to *
find a portal into your brain. *
KAUFMAN *
(laughing) *
Trust me, i t's no fun. *
VALERIE *
(laughs) *
So you're in p roduction, right? *
KAUFMAN
Yeah, it is. They are. We are. *
VALERIE
That must be so exciting. *
KAUFMAN
Yeah *
Uncomfortable silence. Kaufma n tries to fill it. *
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
It's exciting to see one's work produced. * pg. 4
(CONTINUED)VALERIE *
(looking up) *
I bet.
(looking up)
So --
Kaufman looks up, too. His brow is dripping again. Valerie *
pretends not to notice. *
VALERIE (cont'd) *
Good. So, tell me y our thoughts on this
crazy little p roject of ours.
In one motion, Ka ufman swabs his forehead and pulls a book
entitled The Orchid Thief from his bag.
KAUFMAN
First, I think it 's a great book.
VALERIE
Laroche is a fun cha racter, isn't he?
Kaufman nods, flips thr ough the book, sta lling. A photo of *
author Susan O rlean smiles fr om the inside back cover. *
KAUFMAN
Absolutely. And Orlean ma kes orchids so
fascinating. Plu s her musings on
Florida, orchid p oaching. Indians.
Great, sprawli ng New Yorker stuff. I'd
want to remain true to that, let the
movie exist rather than be artificially
plot driven.
VALERIE
Okay, great, great. I g uess I'm not *
exactly sure w hat that means.
KAUFMAN
Oh. Well... I li ke to let my work *
evolve, so I'd want to go into it with *
sort of open-ende d kind of... and also *
not force it into a typical m ovie form. *
VALERIE
Oh. That sounds interesting... what *
you're saying. I mean, I'm intrigued.
KAUFMAN
(blurting)
It's just, I don't w ant to ruin it by
making it a Hollywoo d product. Like, an
orchid heist movi e or something. pg. 5
CONTINUED:9 9
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)Or changing th e orchids in to poppies and
turning it into a mo vie about drug
running. Y'know? Why can't there be a
movie simply about f lowers? Tha t's all.
VALERIE
That's what we 're thinking. Definitely. *
KAUFMAN
Like, I don't want to cram in sex, or car *
chases, or guns. Or characte rs learning
profound life lessons. Or growing or *
coming to like ea ch other or overcoming
obstacles to s ucceed in the end. Y'know?
The book isn't li ke that. Life isn't
like that. It just i sn't. I feel very *
strongly ab out this. *
Kaufman is sweating like crazy now. Vale rie is quiet. We *
hear Kaufman's self-flagellating voice-over t hrough the *
silence, but we c an't make out t he words. Then: *
VALERIE
I guess we though t maybe Susa n Orlean and *
Laroche could fal l in and -- *
KAUFMAN
Okay, but to me -- this alienated *
journalist writing a bout a passionate *
backwoods guy and he teaches her to love--
that's like... fake. I mean, it didn't
happen. It wo uldn't happen. *
INT. OFFICE - DAY10 10
SUBTITLE : HOLLYWOOD, CALI FORNIA, THREE WEEKS EARLIER
The office is dec orated with pot ted flowers, Audubon posters,
lots of books. Margaret, a s oulful developm ent executive,
unpack boxes. Kaufman appears in the open doorw ay. In the *
hall behind him a re framed posters for action movies. *
KAUFMAN
Knock knock.
Margaret turns.
MARGARET
Char-lay Kauf-man!
She hugs him enthusiastically. pg. 6
CONTINUED: (2)9 9
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
(CONTINUED)MARGARET (cont'd)
What are you doing in t his Godforsaken
hell-hole?
KAUFMAN
Meeting upstairs. *
MARGARET
(mock impressed)
Ooh, with Ro bert? Oooh. *
KAUFMAN
(smiles, nods) *
So... just wanted to say hello, *
congratulate you on the promotion.
Pretty fancy o ffice, Margie!
MARGARET
Well, thanks. It 's all so stupid.
KAUFMAN
It's great. A re you kidding? I saw your
photo in Va riety and every thing. Very *
very cool.
MARGARET
Oh, God, such an awful picture.
KAUFMAN
You looked great.
MARGARET
Anyway. So what's with you? Come in,
man. Take a load off.
Kaufman enters, s its on the c ouch. Margaret closes the door.
MARGARET (cont'd)
(mock whisper)
Lousy with spies.
Kaufman laughs. Mar garet sits down ne xt to him. He tenses
at the closeness, covers by talking. *
KAUFMAN
I'm considering j obs. Mostly crap.
There's one you m ight like, about
flowers.
MARGARET
Flowers? Really? * pg. 7
CONTINUED:10 10
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
Demme's company w ants to adapt this book *
The Orchid Thief . About orchids.
MARGARET
Cool. You shoul d definitely do it. *
Kaufman is thrilled; he's scored.
KAUFMAN
I loved the b ook is all. *
MARGARET
I'll read it. You're all the
recommendation I need.
(presses butto n on phone)
Andy, could yo u get a book called The
Orchid Thief by... *
KAUFMAN
Susan Orlean.
MARGARET
Susan Orlea n. Thanks.
(hangs up, smiles at him) *
If anyone coul d figure out how to do a
movie about fl owers, it wo uld be you.
KAUFMAN
I dunno. I 'd like to t ry. Y'know?
MARGARET
You should. J esus, somebody needs to *
save us all. And it sounds exciting, to *
immerse yourself in a real subject and *
learn everythi ng about it. Get paid for *
it! Charlie! Not t his movie bullshit, *
sex and drug d eals and violence.
(looks up at ceiling and yells) *
God, Robert, I'm so sick of it! *
KAUFMAN
(looking at ceiling) *
Margaret. *
MARGARET
I don't care. *
(looking up , yelling) *
I don't care, Robert! *
(back to Kaufman) *
Hey, you know that Blake line about *
seeing heaven in a w ild flower? That's
the fucking truth, man. * pg. 8
CONTINUED: (2)10 10
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
I know. *
MARGARET
I know you know. *
(conspiratorially) *
After you learn a ll this flower stuff, *
you can teach me. *
KAUFMAN
(thrilled b ut controlled)
That'd be fun. *
EXT. MURKY POOL OF WATER - DAY 11 11
SUBTITLE : THE EARTH, THREE BILLION YEARS AGO
We move into t he pool, closer, c loser, until we see a single-
cell organism multip lying. Soon there are mill ions of them. *
EXT. SWAMP - MORNING12 12
Hot, dirty, mi serable. Laroc he leads the In dians through
waist-high black wat er. He points out a turtle on a rock.
LAROCHE
Pseudemys floridana . Did you fellas know
you fellas bel ieve the wor ld rests on the
back of a turtle? Not you fellas
specifically. Although, mayb e you fellas
specifically. That I can't speak to.
The Indians ig nore him. They trudge. La roche spots
something else, a du ll green root w rapped around a tree. He
stops, circles the tree. His ey es widen in reverent awe.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
A ghost. Polyrrhiza Lindenii .
The Indians come around. Laroche s tares at a single
beautiful, glowing white flower han ging from th e tree. He
tenderly caresses the petals. T hen, business-like:
LAROCHE (cont'd)
Cut it down, Russell.
Russell pulls out a hacksaw, begins sawing through the tree.
INT. RESTAURAN T - MIDDAY 13 13
Kaufman still sweats as he talks to Valerie. pg. 9
CONTINUED: (3)10 10
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
...plus I love the idea of learning all
about orchids and trying to do something *
simple. My st uff tends to be weird. *
VALERIE
But not weird for weird's sake. *
KAUFMAN
Thanks. That's nice to he ar. But I'm
ready to challenge m yself. I don't want *
to get by on quirkin ess. I don' t want to *
fall back on weirdne ss the way other *
writers fall back on sex and violence. I *
want to think differently. *
VALERIE
Adapting someo ne else's wo rk is certainly
an opportunity to think differently.
KAUFMAN
Yeah. I'd like to take somet hing real *
like orchids a nd show people how profound *
they are. It's like, show people heaven *
in a wildflower. As Blake said.
INT. PET STORE (1972) - DAY 14 14
SUBTITLE : NORTH MIAMI, TWENT Y-SIX YEARS EARLIER
A serious ten year o ld boy walks from cage to aquarium,
studying the inha bitants. He turns to his frum py mother, who *
is sitting with a frail, listless, anemic-looking little *
girl. The girl r ests her head on t he mother's shoulder. *
BOY
Any animal at all, ma? *
She nods sweet ly. The boy returns to his se arch. He stops
at a small turtle in an aquarium.
BOY (cont'd)
I want a turtle t hen. This one. *
MOTHER
(hugging him)
A wonderful choice!
(to the girl) *
Don't you t hink so, Diane? *
The glassy-eyed girl doesn't resp ond. The mothe r strokes the *
girl's hair as she talks to the boy. * pg. 10
CONTINUED:13 13
(CONTINUED)MOTHER (cont'd) *
And spirituall y significant. Did you *
know Native Am ericans believe the whole *
world rests on the back of a turtle?
BOY
Cool! I can't wa it to tell the guys! *
EXT. SWAMP - MORNING15 15
As Laroche superv ises, Randy, Russe ll, and Vins on saw through
tree branches supportin g lovely flo wering orchi ds. They
unceremoniously stuff the flo wers into bu lging pillowcases.
INT. ROMANTIC RESTAU RANT - EVENING 16 16
Kaufman eats w ith Margaret. Mar garet raises a glass.
MARGARET
To a fucking awesome assig nment, man.
The book is just amazing. I can't thank
you enough for telling me about it.
Kaufman, thrilled , clicks glasses.
KAUFMAN
God, I'm just so ple ased you liked it.
(He takes a breath)
Hey, I'm going to an orchid s how in Santa *
Barbara on Sunday? For research? Maybe *
you'll come?
MARGARET
Absolutely.
KAUFMAN
Great! Great! We could have breakfast
first or whatever?
MARGARET
That sounds ni ce. I think David, this
guy I'm seeing , would enjo y it, too.
He's a natural ist. Okay if he comes? *
KAUFMAN
(covering h eartbreak)
Yeah, of co urse. Sure.
MARGARET
He wants to meet you anyway. All I do is
tell him how great you are . He probably
hates you already. pg. 11
CONTINUED:14 14
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
Oh, okay. Tha t sounds good.
MARGARET
You'll like him. He's jus t honest and
smart. I'm sure you know, it's
impossible to fin d someone in this town
who thinks about thi ngs other than the
fucking business.
KAUFMAN
He sounds great.
MARGARET
Like the other day we were in bed
discussing Hegel. Hegel! In bed! After
really hot sex! Like my drea m come true.
I mean, in this goddamn town?
(marvels at th is for a moment,
then:)
Have you read much?
KAUFMAN
Y'know, a long time ago. A b it. Y'know.
MARGARET
Well, anyway, David and I were joking
about the Philo sophy of History . You've
read that, right?
KAUFMAN
Um, long ti me ago, so...
MARGARET
So I was ly ing there... *
The entrees arrive. *
MARGARET (cont'd) *
... kind of po st-coital dreamy.... *
(to waiter) *
Thanks. *
(to Kaufman) *
... and I w as suddenly struck by how *
profound the n otion is that h istory is a
human construct...
Kaufman begins the laborious task of getting through his
plate of food. He c an no longer lo ok up at Margaret.
KAUFMAN
Uh-huh. pg. 12
CONTINUED:16 16
(CONTINUED)MARGARET
... that natur e doesn't exist
historically, but rather cycl ically. So
whereas human history spirals forward,
building upon its elf, nature...
EXT. OCEAN - DAY17 17 *
SUBTITLE : EARTH, ONE BILL ION YEARS EARLIER
Odd, small blind jellyf ish collide, re coil, and hover. *
INT. BARNES AND NOBLE - DAY 18 18
Kaufman grabs some o rchid books off the shelf, car ries them
to the register, along with a book on Hegel which features an
engraving of the phi losopher on the cover. Kaufma n waits in
line and watches a t attooed female cashier flirtin g with the
handsome guy ahea d of him. With every fiber of his being, he
studies their intera ction, the way she looks at him, the body
language. Her ey es, her lips. The guy fina lly leaves and
the cashier wa ves Kaufman over. As she ring s him up, she
expresses no i nterest in him. He's hurt and fixates on a
sexy flower tattoo on her arm. She pu lls down her sleeve.
EXT. JANES SCENIC DRIVE - MORNING 19 19
Tony waits, sweat y and mosquito bit ten. The ra dio crackles.
RADIO VOICE
How's that Injun r ound-up g oing, Tony? *
Rustling near the parked cars. Tony tenses. Laroche steps
from the swamp with the Indians, who haul th e pillowcases.
TONY (cont'd) *
(into the r adio, pleased)
Ha! *
Tony jumps into t he truck and turns it around.
INT. ORLEAN'S APA RTMENT - NIGHT 20 20
Orlean types. Her delicate f ingers move wit h a pianist's
grace across t he computer keyboard.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
Orchid hunting is a mortal occupation.
EXT. TROPICAL RIVER - DAY21 21
SUBTITLE : ORINOCO RIVE R, ONE HUNDRED YEARS EARLIER pg. 13
CONTINUED: (2)16 16
(CONTINUED)An overturned boa t and uprooted orchids float on the river.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
The Victorian- era orchid h unter William
Arnold drowned on a collecting
expedition.
EXT. CLIFF - DAY22 22
SUBTITLE : SIERRA LEONE
A man lies at the bo ttom of a cliff, clutching a flower.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
Schroeder fell to his death. *
OMITTED23 23 *
EXT. RIVER - DAY24 24
SUBTITLE : YANGTZE RIVER
An emaciated, limping, wheezing man with a m akeshift bandage
wrapped around his head, d ocks his boat.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
Augustus Margary survived toothache,
rheumatism, pleurisy, a nd dysentery...
Someone steps from behind a bush, stabs him, st eals his boat.
ORLEAN (V.O .) (cont'd)
... only to be mu rdered when he completed
his mission and t raveled b eyond Bhamo.
The murderer sail s down river.
ORLEAN (V.O .) (cont'd)
Laroche loved orchids but I came to
believe he loved the difficulty and
fatality of getting them a lmost as much
as he loved the orchids themselves.
EXT. JANES SCENIC DRIVE - MORNING 25 25
Tony steps out of his truck. Laroc he smiles warmly.
TONY
Morning. May I a sk what you gentlemen
have in those pillowcases?
LAROCHE
Yes, sir, you absolutely may. pg. 14
CONTINUED:21 21
(CONTINUED)Laroche goes back to directing the Indians. To ny's confused.
TONY
Okay, I'm asking then.
LAROCHE
Oh, Okay then! Let's see...
(peeking in bags)
Five kinds of bromeliad , one peperomia,
nine orchid va rieties. About a hundred
and thirty pla nts all told, which my
colleagues have removed from the swamp.
TONY
You're aware t hat it's illega l to remove
plants or animals from state owned land?
LAROCHE
And don't f orget these plants are all
endangered, si r. Every on e of them.
TONY
Exactly. Well, t hat's exactly the issue.
This is a stat e preserve.
LAROCHE
Yes, sir, it is.
(afterthought)
Oh, and my colleague s are all Seminole
Indians. Did I mention th at? You're
familiar, I'm sure, with the State of
Florida v. James E. Billie.
Tony nods, even thou gh he has no idea.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
So you know that even thou gh Seminole
Chief Billie killed a Flor ida panther,
one of, what, forty in the e ntire world?
Laroche looks to the Indians for confirmation. They give it.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
The state c ouldn't success fully prosecute
him. Because he's an Indian and it's his
right. As repugn ant as you or I as white
conservationis ts might find his actions.
TONY
But -- pg. 15
CONTINUED:25 25
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
Not to mention th e failed attempts on
three separate occasions to prosecute
Seminoles for poa ching palm fronds,
which, I believe, they use to thatch the
roofs of their tr aditional ch ickee huts.
Laroche again looks to the Indians for confirmation.
RUSSELL
He's right. T hat's exactly w hat we use
them for. Chi ckee huts.
Tony looks at the Indians.
RANDY
Yeah.
VINSON
Yeah.
RUSSELL
Yeah.
TONY
Yeah, but I don't... I can't let you
fellas go yet. J ust hold on while I...
(into radio)
Hey, Barry, can I get some he lp? Barry?
INT. RENTAL CAR - DAY26 26
Orlean drives out of the Miami Airport par king lot. *
ORLEAN (V.O.)
Nothing in Florida seems hard or
permanent.
She passes urban con gestion and gar ish billboar ds advertising *
nature them e parks.
ORLEAN (V.O .) (cont'd)
The developed places are j ust little
clearings in the jungle...
Orlean drives past endless swampland.
ORLEAN (V.O .) (cont'd)
... but the jungl e is unstoppably
fertile, every thing is always growing or
expanding. At the same time, the
wilderness disapp ears before your eyes. pg. 16
CONTINUED: (2)25 25INT. HOTEL ROOM - AFTERNOON 27 27
Orlean unpacks her s uitcase on the bed. The TV is turned to *
the hotel info rmation channel. On the screen a pretty woman *
walks us through what to do in case of fire. O rlean finishes *
organizing her st uff. She sits blankly on the bed for a long *
time, then sta rts to weep inconsolably. *
EXT. RIVER'S E DGE - DAY/NIGHT 28 28
SUBTITLE: EART H, THREE HUNDRED MILL ION YEARS EARLIER
Simple green f lowerless plants line the wate r. In a time *
lapse sequence, the plants gr ow, whither, die. They are *
replaced by new p lants which go through the same process. *
This happens m any times in an accelerating sequence.
EXT. BIG SPANISH- STYLE HOUSE - DAY 29 29
Kaufman gets out of his car with his books. Two teenage
girls walk by. Kaufman watches as one whispers to the other.
He thinks he hear s the word " Fatso." The girls giggle.
INT. EMPTY HOUSE - A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER 30 30
Kaufman passes a hall mirror, regards himself glumly, and
climbs the stairs.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
I am fat. I am repu lsive. I cannot bear
my own reflection.
At the landing Ka ufman comes upon Donald, his identical twin
brother, on h is back in paja ma bottoms and his new purple *
sweater. *
DONALD
Did you wear your sweater f rom mom yet? *
Comfy. *
KAUFMAN
What's with you?
DONALD
My back.
Kaufman nods vagu ely, continues down the hall. *
DONALD (cont'd)
Hey, Charles, you 'll be glad, I have a
plan to get me out of your house pronto. pg. 17
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
A job is a plan. Is your plan a job?
DONALD
Drumroll, please
(supplies it)
I'm gonna be a sc reenwriter! Like you!
Kaufman doesn't respond, ente rs his bedroom.
DONALD (cont'd)
Okay, I know y ou think this is just one
of my get-r ich-quick schem es. But I'm
doing it right this time. I'm taking a
three-day seminar! *
INT. EMPTY BEDROO M - CONTINUOUS 31 31
Kaufman lies f ace down on his mattress on the floor.
DONALD (O.S.)
It's only five hundred bucks!
KAUFMAN
(muffled by pillow)
Screenwriting semina rs are bullshit.
Kaufman pulls a phot o of Margaret, cli pped from a trade
paper, from under his pillow. He g ets lost in the picture.
DONALD (O.S.)
In theory I agree wi th you. Okay? But
this one is highly regarde d within the
industry.
KAUFMAN
Donald, don't say "industry."
Donald appears on all fours in the door way. Kauf man puts the *
paper back und er his pillow.
DONALD
I'm sorry, I f orgot. Charles , this guy
knows screenwriting. People come from
all over to study his method. I'll pay *
you back, budd y. As soon as I sell --
KAUFMAN
Let me explain something to you.
DONALD
Yeah, okay. pg. 18
CONTINUED:30 30
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
Anybody who sa ys he's got "th e answer" is
going to attra ct desperate pe ople. Be it
in the world of religion --
DONALD
(indicating his back)
I just need to lie down wh ile you explain
this to me. Sorr y. I apologize.
(lies down, stare s at ceiling)
Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Okay. Go.
KAUFMAN
There are no rules to follow, Donald, and
anybody who sa ys there are, is just --
DONALD
Not rules, principles . McKee writes:
"A rule says, you must do it this way . A
principle s ays, this works... and has
through all re membered time."
KAUFMAN
The script I'm st arting, it's about
flowers. No one's ever done a movie
about flowers before. So, there're no
guidelines, and -- *
DONALD
What about Flowe rs for Algernon ?
KAUFMAN
That's not about flowers. And it's not a
movie. There was a book -- *
DONALD
Oh, okay, I never sa w it. Okay, keep *
going. Hey, what about Cactu s Flower ? I *
saw that. There's d efinitely a flower in *
that. *
KAUFMAN
Look, my point is, those teachers are *
dangerous if your goal is to do something
new. And a writer should alw ays have
that goal. Wr iting is a jour ney into the
unknown, not building a mo del airplane. *
Donald stares at the ceiling, fumin g. Kaufman waits.
Getting no response, he pulls out h is Hegel book and reads: pg. 19
CONTINUED:31 31
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Each being is, be cause posited, an op-
posited, a con ditional and conditioning,
the Understand ing completes these its
limitations by positing th e opposite...
Kaufman's head is spinning. He puts t he book down. Both
brothers stare at the ceiling. Donald fi nally speaks
DONALD
McKee is a for mer Fulbright scholar. Are
you a former Fulb right scholar, Charles?
Kaufman looks over at D onald's repu lsive girth.
INT. LIBRARY - DAY32 32
SUBTITLE : CONNECTICUT, TWENTY-FOUR YE ARS EARLIER
A teenaged Kaufman reads a book. He looks out the window
onto a courtyard where kids are smo king and eating lunch. He
spots Donald chat ting up two pre tty girls. The y seem to be
enjoying Donald. He says goo d-bye and walks happily away.
GIRL *
Bye, Donald! *
The girls look at each other and giggle mali ciously. One
puffs out her cheeks.
INT. EMPTY LIVING ROOM - DAY 32A 32A *
Kaufman stares at a blank sheet of pap er in a typewriter. *
OMITTED33-34 33-34 *
EXT. SWAMP - L ATE MORNING 35 35 *
Ranger, sheriff, and state police cars are p arked near the
van and Ford. Lots of sweating, uniformed p eople. The
pillowcases have been emptied, the plants li e on black
plastic sheets. A g uy sprinkles wa ter on them. Laroche
enthusiastically hel ps Ranger Mike Owe n catalogue the
flowers. The Indians lean against their car , bored and
smoking. Nirvana seeps tinnily ou t the car window.
LAROCHE
... and what we have here, my friend, is
... thirteen Encyclia Cochleata ... four
Encyclia Tampensis --
MIKE OWEN
I'm sorry, Encyclia what? pg. 20
CONTINUED: (2)31 31
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
(pointing to each)
Coch-le-ata . Tem-pen-sis .
(checks Owen's spelling)
Okay, let's see, twenty-two Epidendrum
Nocturnum . A very good haul. Two
Catopsi Floribunda . Three Polyrrhiza
Lindenii , the ghost or chid. What I
really came for. These sweeties grow
nowhere in the U.S. except in your swamp.
MIKE OWEN
That true? Boy, you really know your
plants, Mr. Laroche.
LAROCHE
Yeah. I do. I'm one of the world's
foremost exper ts. But tha t'll all be
revealed at the hearing.
INT. EMPTY KIT CHEN - DAY 35A 35A *
Kaufman talks on the phone as he prepares a salad. *
KAUFMAN *
Hi, my name is Charlie Kaufma n and I'm *
writing a scre enplay based on Susan *
Orlean's bo ok The Orc -- *
MIKE OWEN *
Oh, hi! *
KAUFMAN *
Hi. So, I want to come down to the *
Fakahatchee and -- *
MIKE OWEN *
Great! We'd love to have ya'. *
KAUFMAN *
Yeah, and I was w ondering if you could *
give me a little information about *
supplies I might nee d, y'know, bug sprays *
-- *
MIKE OWEN *
Bug spray woul d be helpful. *
KAUFMAN *
Bug spray. I can do that. * pg. 21
CONTINUED:35 35
(CONTINUED)MIKE OWEN *
You might want th e strongest you can *
find. With Deet. Mosquit o netting. I *
like to josh i t's a little like walking *
through a biti ng, buzzing, gray could. *
Long sleeves. Heavy , heavy pants. *
You'll be trudging through ac idic, thigh- *
high water. And the water 's black, so *
you won't be able to see t he snakes. *
KAUFMAN *
Okay. *
MIKE OWEN *
Or the alli gators. So a strong boot, *
something they won't easily bite through. *
KAUFMAN *
(clearly no t going) *
Sounds good. So I'll check my schedule *
and get back to you. *
MIKE OWEN *
Look forward to it! *
INT. EMPTY DINING RO OM - A BIT LATER 36 36 *
Kaufman sits at a card table in the otherwise empty room. He *
picks at his sala d and reads Orl ean's book. Donald lies on *
the floor, chompi ng a hoagie and reading a c opy of Story by
Robert McKee.
KAUFMAN *
The Orchidaceae is a large, ancient
family of perenni al plants with...
Kaufman, bored, looks over at Do nald, whose che eks are
stuffed with food.
DONALD (V.O.)
The most memor able, fascinating
characters tend to h ave not only a
conscious but an unconscious desire.
Although these characters are unaware of
their subconsc ious need --
KAUFMAN
Maybe you should watch what you eat,
Donald. Did you ever cons ider maybe
you're a bit fat? Does it ever occur to
you, you kind of represent me in the
world? pg. 22
CONTINUED:35A 35A
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)That people lo ok at you and think, he's
Charlie's twin, t herefore tha t's what
Charlie must look like?
DONALD
By the way, mom's paying for the seminar.
KAUFMAN
Did you even hear what I said?
DONALD
Yeah. Anyway. I pitched mom my
screenplay --
KAUFMAN
Don't say "pitch."
DONALD
Sorry. Anyway, s he loved my... telling
of my story to her. She said it's *
"Silence of the Lambs" meets "Psycho."
KAUFMAN
Hey, maybe you and mom could collaborate.
I hear she's really good w ith structure.
DONALD
You think you're so superior, Charles.
Well, I'm r eally gonna write this. And
you'll see. A nd, and... you suck, okay?
The two glare at each other. Th ey go back to their books.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
The Orchidaceae is a large, ancient *
family of perenni al plants with... *
DONALD (V.O.)
Do not prol iferate charact ers; do not
multiply location s. Rather than *
hopscotching t hrough time, space, and *
people, discipline yourself to a *
reasonably con tained cast and world... *
INT. RENTAL CAR - DAY37 37
SUBTITLE : FLORIDA, THREE YEARS EARLIER *
Orlean drives on State Road 29, pas t prefab housing.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
Florida is a landsca pe of transition and
mutation... pg. 23
CONTINUED:36 36
KAUFMAN (cont'd)INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - DAY 38 38
Kaufman traces a stu bby, nail-bitten f inger along State Road
29 along a Florid a road map. He turns to his typewriter, and
types in a clumsy hunt-and -peck style.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
We open on Sta te Road 29.
(stops, sta res off)
It's swampy and lonely.
(typing)
A lonely stret ch of road cutt ing through
untamed swampland.
(stops, thi nks, types) *
A white van ap pears from aroun d a curve. *
Its driver: a skinny man w ith no front
teeth. This is John Laroche. *
INT. COURT ROOM - DAY39 39
The proceedings are in progress. Orlean hurrie s in, sits in
the back. Lar oche, in a Miam i Hurricanes cap, wrap-around
Mylar sunglasses, and a Hawaiian shirt , is on the stand.
Alan Lerner, the tribe's lawyer, questions him.
LERNER
Finally, Mr. Laroche, what is your
experience in the ar ea of horticulture?
LAROCHE
Okay, I've been a professional
horticulturist for t welve years. I've
owned a plant nursery of my own which was
destroyed by the hurricane. I'm a
professional plant l ecturer. I've given
at least sixty lectures on the
cultivation of plants. I' m a published
author, both in maga zine and boo k form.
I have extensi ve experience w ith orchids,
and the asexual m icropropagation of
orchids under ase ptic cultures. This is
laboratory work, not at all like your
nursery work.
(grins)
I'm probably the smartest per son I know.
LERNER
Thank you.
LAROCHE
You're very welcome. pg. 24INT. BARNES AND NOBLE - DAY 40 40
As she rings up his books, Ka ufman admires the cashier's
flower tattoo. S he catches him and smiles w ith red, wet,
pierced lips. She unbuttons her blo use and shows him a breast
with a heart t attoo. A sweet heartbea t turns to knocking.
INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - NIGHT 41 41
Kaufman, in be d masturbating, looks up at the closed door.
KAUFMAN
What?!
The door opens . Donald stand s there for a moment in shadows.
DONALD
Look, you wann a hear my pi tch, or what?
KAUFMAN
Go away. God damn it.
DONALD
(lost)
Y'know, I'm ju st trying to do something.
Kaufman squints at his brother, sits up, waits.
DONALD (CONT'D)
Hey, thanks a lot, man. Cool.
(flicks on light, then in pitch
mode:)
Okay, there's this serial kil ler, right --
Kaufman groans, lies down, star es at the ceiling. *
DONALD (CONT'D)
No, wait. See , he's being hunted by a
cop. And he's taunting the cop, right?
Sending clues who his next victim is.
He's already hold ing her host age in his
creepy basemen t. So th e cop gets
obsessed with figuring out he r identity,
and in the process he falls in love with
her. Even though he's never even met
her. She beco mes, like, the
unattainable, like the Holy Grail.
KAUFMAN *
It's a little obviou s, don't you think? pg. 25
(CONTINUED)DONALD
Okay, but ther e's a twist. See, we find
out the killer su ffers from multiple
personality di sorder. Okay? See, he's
really also the cop and the girl. All of
them are him! Is n't that fucked-up?
Donald waits , proud. *
KAUFMAN
The only idea more overused than serial
killers, is multiple perso nality. On top
of that you ex plore the notio n that cop
and criminal are really tw o aspects of
the same pe rson. See e very cop movie
ever made for oth er examples of this.
DONALD
Mom called it psy chologically taut.
KAUFMAN
The other thing i s, there's no way to
write this. Did you consider that? I
mean, how could y ou have some one held
prisoner in a basement and working in a
police station at the same time?
DONALD
Trick photography?
KAUFMAN
Okay, that's not what I'm asking. Listen
closely, what I'm asking is ... in the *
reality of this movi e, if there's only
one character, right?... O kay? How
could you... What e xactly would the...
Donald waits b lankly. Kaufman gives up, get s out of bed.
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
I agree with mom. Very taut. Sybil *
meets.. I dunno, Dressed to Kill . *
Kaufman dresse s and exits.
DONALD
(calling after)
Cool. I really liked Dressed to Kill ... *
until the thir d act denouement.
KAUFMAN (O.S.)
That's not how it's pronounced. pg. 26
CONTINUED:41 41
(CONTINUED)DONALD
Oh. Okay. Sorry.
EXT. COURTHOUSE - DAY42 42
Orlean exits t he courthouse and watches Laroche in a huddle
with Lerner, Vins on, and Buster Baxley, vice-presi dent of the *
tribe's business operat ions. They're all smoking intently.
LAROCHE
They're gonna fuckin g crucify me.
BUSTER *
I'll go into the Fakahatchee with a
chainsaw. I s wear to God.
LERNER
Buster, for cr ying out lou d, I handled
it. Didn't I r emind her the Indians used
to own Fakahatchee? Lo ok, we'll deal
with all th is at trial.
Buster waves a dismissi ve hand at Lerner, wa lks away. Vinson
shrugs, stubs his ci garette, follow s Buster. Lerner and
Laroche stand there a moment. Lerner walks off. Laroche
cracks his neck. A charmingly shy Orlean approaches.
ORLEAN
Mr. Laroche?
Orlean smiles, apologetic for the intrusion.
ORLEAN (CONT'D)
My name's Susa n Orlean, I'm a writer for
the New Yorker. It's a maga --
LAROCHE
I'm familiar with the New Yorker. The
New Yorker, yes, the New Yorker . Right?
ORLEAN
Right. So I was int erested in doing a
piece about your situation down here.
Laroche scowls, smokes furiously . Orlean tr ies some more. *
ORLEAN (CONT'D) *
I find your story really fascin -- *
LAROCHE
Yeah? Put thi s in: I don' t care what
goes on here. pg. 27
CONTINUED: (2)41 41
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)I'm right, and I'll take this all the way
to the Supreme Court. Tha t judge can
screw herself.
Orlean scribbles on her pad. La roche twists his head to see
that she's writing "Judge can sc rew herself."
LAROCHE (cont'd)
That for re al would go in?
ORLEAN *
Absolutely. *
Laroche smiles his toothless smile at Orlean. *
LAROCHE *
I'll have to speak to my advisors. *
EXT. FIELD - MORNING43 43
MUSIC: lush, profound orc hestral piece.
A glorious orange, l arge-petalled o rchid blooms in dramatic
time-lapse. We slowly, lovingly circle the flower.
SENSUOUS FEMAL E NARRATOR
The Orchidaceae is a large, ancient
family of perenni al plants with one
fertile stamen and a three petalled
flower. In most orch id species, one petal
is enlarged in to a lip and is the most
conspicuous part of the flower.
INT. CALIFORNI A PIZZA K ITCHEN - DAY 44 44
Kaufman, in a booth, reads The Orchid Thief, takes notes. *
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
The Orchidaceae is a large, ancient...
He's bored, lo oks up, watches a waitress with glorious,
orange hair, pouty l ips, soulful eyes, and a voluptuous form,
turning slowly around, scanning her station. She sees
Kaufman, appro aches, and s miles warmly do wn at him. Her
badge reads: Alic e, Arcadia, CA. Kaufman sweats.
ALICE
So what looks good today?
KAUFMAN
Um, hi. The key lime pie, please. A *
small slice. I'm watching my... And a
coffee, please. Ski m milk. Please. pg. 28
CONTINUED:42 42
LAROCHE (cont'd)
(CONTINUED)ALICE
(sees book)
Orchids! I absolutely love orchids.
Kaufman goe s blank.
KAUFMAN
Cool! *
He flinches at his lameness. A small awkwar d pause.
ALICE
So, I'll be right back with y our pie.
She smiles warmly again and l eaves. Kaufman is humiliated.
EXT. ORCHID SHOW - DAY 45 45
Alice, in her CPK uniform, and Kaufman walk hand-in-hand,
inspecting sexy o rchids together. She smiles warmly at him.
ALICE *
I think these flower s are so sexy. *
Alice stands v ery close to Kaufman. Her bare arm touches
his. Kaufman loo ks at the touching arms. Alic e continues to
study the flow er but intertwines her fingers in Kaufman's. *
ALICE (cont'd) *
Let's see what 's around back.
She leads Kaufman behind the dis play to a quiet, wooded area. *
She unbuttons her uniform. It falls to the ground, leaving
her naked, dap pled in sunlight, her beautiful red hair
glowing. Kaufman drops to his knees in front of her and *
kisses her thighs , caresses her ass. Alice gli des Kaufman's
head to her crotch.
INT. EMPTY ROOM - NIGHT46 46
Kaufman finishes jer king off. He lies lonely in the dark.
INT. GIRL'S BE DROOM - NIGHT 47 47
SUBTITLE : CANTON, OHI O, FORTY-THREE YE ARS EARLIER *
It's dark. A lonel y, little girl in a n ightgown lies on her
bed, holds a flas hlight in one hand and writ es in her diary
with the other. * pg. 29
CONTINUED:44 44
(CONTINUED)LITTLE GIRL (V.O.)
Today I played with Mary. We had fun.
We played Momm y and Daddy. I got to be
the Mommy. It was very fun. *
Footsteps in the hal l. The little gir l flicks off the *
flashlight, close s her eyes. Th e door opens. A middle-aged *
woman walks in, b umps tipsily into the dress er, sits on the *
edge of the bed, loo ks at her daughter and cries quietly. *
EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT - MORNING 48 48
Orlean leans agai nst a car and smokes. A ti ny, lost figure.
There's a honk. Orl ean snaps out of her reverie to see
Laroche screeching to a stop in his banged-up van.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
A few days after the hearing, Laroche
took me to an orchid show in Miami.
She opens the passenger door.
ORLEAN (cont'd)
Hi. Thanks fo r picking --
LAROCHE
I want you to kno w this van is a piece of
shit. When I hit the jack pot, I'll buy
myself an awesome car. What are you
driving? *
ORLEAN
An Aurora. It 's my father's. He lives --
LAROCHE
Awesome. I th ink I'll get one of those. *
Orlean nods, c limbs in, and t ries to rearran ge some of the
junk on the front seat so she'll have a place to sit.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
Sit on top of that. You won't hurt it.
She situates hers elf on the edge of the seat, rests her feet
on an open bag of potting soil. Lar oche lurches off. *
INT. VAN - DAY49 49
Laroche drives ma nically. Orlean watches the r oad and holds
one hand again st the dashboard. pg. 30
CONTINUED:47 47
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE *
Where do these people lear n to drive? *
The world is insane. My theory is -- *
Orlean switches on a mini-cassette record er, pulls out a *
notebook. Laroch e clams up. Orlean tries to figure a way *
in. *
ORLEAN *
So I was so impre ssed to hear how *
accomplished y ou are in th e world of *
horticultur e and -- *
LAROCHE *
Yeah, yeah. The t hing you gotta know is *
my whole li fe is looking f or a goddamn
profitable plant. And that's the ghost.
We see that Orlea n is writing "The world is insane." *
ORLEAN
Uh-huh. Why t he ghost orchid? *
While Laroc he talks, Or lean writes.
LAROCHE
The sucker's rare. Collectors c ovet what
is not availab le. I'm the only one in
the world who knows how to cultivate it.
She's writing: "skinny as a stick, posture of al dente *
spaghetti." L aroche looks ov er and smiles. Orlean smiles *
back. *
ORLEAN
Uh-huh.
She indicates, wi th a small jerk of the head, that he might *
want to watch the ro ad. He doesn't take the hint.
LAROCHE *
The plan wa s, get the Indians to pull it
from the swamp. I researched it. As
long as I don' t touch the plants, Florida
can't touch us . Then I'd clone hundreds
of them babies in my lab, sel l 'em, and
make the Seminoles a shitload of change.
Orlean writes: "crushes out cig arette, steers with knees as *
he lights another." pg. 31
CONTINUED:49 49
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE (cont'd)
And I stop future poaching by making the
flowers readily a vailable in stores.
Then I give a big speech at the trial
about how t he legislature sho uld get rid
of loopholes smart people like me can
find. I'm a hero . The flowers are
saved. Laroche and nature win.
Orlean writes: "guy is priceless." *
LAROCHE (cont'd) *
Did you get th at last part? *
ORLEAN *
Yes, of course. *
OMITTED50-52 50-52 *
INT. 7 1/2 FLOOR SET - MORNING 52A 52A *
The set from Be ing John Malkovich . Crew people bustle about, *
bending down as t hey enter the squat s et. No one pays any *
attention to Kaufman , who stands by himself to the side. *
Donald is at the craft service t able, picking at food. *
Caroline, a pretty, young make-up w oman, stops by the table. *
Kaufman watches n ervously as Donald eyes her. Finally Donald *
says something to her. She l ooks over, says something back. *
It's too far a way to hear the conversation. Donald says *
something else and Caroline l aughs. The con versation warms *
up. Kaufman can't b elieve his eyes . The assis tant director *
appears in the hall. *
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR *
Scene 23 up next! All keys to set! *
Catherine Keen er and John Cus ack pass Kaufma n. They nod *
perfunctorily. *
KAUFMAN *
Hey. *
Cusack enters the hallway set. *
KAUFMAN (V.O.) (CONT'D) *
I'm fat. I'm old -- *
Keener sees Ca roline, who's still c hatting with Donald. *
KEENER *
(playfully) *
Caroline, c'mo n, jeez. We're shooting a *
movie here. Let' s go! Let's go! * pg. 32
CONTINUED: (2)49 49
(CONTINUED)Kenner grabs C aroline pulls h er down the hall. *
CAROLINE *
(laughing) *
You're insane, Ke ener! Let go! *
Kaufman watches. Donald appr oaches Kaufman. *
DONALD *
Hey, man. *
KAUFMAN *
Please don't hit on crew m embers, Donald. *
DONALD *
No, Caroline's a really nice girl. *
KAUFMAN *
Just don't embarr ass me. Oka y? I have *
to work with these people. *
DONALD *
I won't. Anyw ay, listen, I m eant to ask *
you, I need a cool way to kill people. *
Don't worry! For my scrip t! Ha ha! *
KAUFMAN *
I really don't write that kin d of stuff. *
DONALD *
Oh, man, pl ease. You're the genius. *
Kaufman stares at Donald, rubs his eyes, sighs. *
KAUFMAN *
Here you go. The killer's a literature *
professor. He cuts off li ttle chunks of *
his victims' bodies until the y die. He
calls him "The Deconstruct ionist."
DONALD
That's kinda good . I like that.
KAUFMAN
See, I was kid ding, Donald. *
DONALD
Oh, okay. Sor ry. You got me! Ha-ha.
Do you mind if I use it, though? pg. 33
CONTINUED:52A 52AINT. BOY'S BEDROOM (1972) - NIGHT 53 53
There are now many turtles in aquariums. Ma ny turtle books
and posters. The boy, in a turtle T-s hirt, looks out the
window into the darkness. His e yes are troubled.
MOTHER (O.S.)
(praying softly)
For certain is de ath for t he born/And
certain is birth for the dead
INT. LIVING ROOM (19 72) - CONTINUOUS 54 54
The boy comes downst airs. His father, in a backbrace, *
watches TV; his sister lies on the couch, semi- conscious,
more pale than before. His m other pats the gir l's head with
a damp cloth. Th ere's a little Hindu altar with candles.
MOTHER
Therefore over th e inevitable/Thou
shouldst no t grieve.
(beat)
Sweet, swee t Diane.
The boy surveys the sad scene. His mother l ooks up, smiles.
MOTHER (CONT'D)
A slice of pie for my turtle expert?
The boy beams wit h pride, then gets solemn.
BOY
Mom, there's s omething I feel I have to
do. I don't k now how to do this, but I
feel in my stomach t hat I have to.
MOTHER
What do you have to do, honey?
BOY
Collect one of every turtle in the world.
(beat)
It's a long list, ma. Cuora
galbinifrons , Graptemys versa , Callagur
borneoensis , all the Galapa gos species,
people think there's only one, but that's
not true. Cycloderma frenatum , Cuora
pani...
(sighs)
I don't think my life is worth living if
I can't do this.
The boy and hi s mother look at each other. pg. 34
(CONTINUED)MOTHER
Well, we'd better get started , huh, baby?
The boy nods h is head solemnly.
INT. VAN - DAY55 55
Laroche drives, s olemnly nodding his h ead. Orlean studies
him for a moment, her sad eyes wet and glisteni ng. The tape
recorder is on between them.
ORLEAN
Wow, that's so me story. H ow many turtles
did you end up collecting?
LAROCHE
(matter-of-fact)
Oh, I lost intere st right after that.
ORLEAN
Oh.
LAROCHE
I dropped turt les when I f ell in love
with Ice Age f ossils. Collec ted the shit *
out of 'em. Foss ils were the only thing
made any sense to me in this fucked-up
world.
They drive in silence. Orlean watches a flying heron. *
ORLEAN *
I guess I'd like to kno w how you can just
detach from somet hing when you've
invested so much of your soul --
LAROCHE
Ditched fossils for resilvering old *
mirrors. My mom and I had the largest
collection of 19t h Century Du tch mirrors
on the planet. P erhaps you read about
us. Mirror World October '8 8? I have a
copy somewhere...
Laroche fishes th rough junk as he d rives. O rlean writes
"What is Passion?" on h er pad. She und erlines it. *
ORLEAN
So, did you ever miss the turtles? The
only thing that made you t en year old
life worth living? pg. 35
CONTINUED:54 54
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
I'll tell you a s tory. I once fell
deeply, profoundl y in love with tropical
fish. I had sixty goddamn fi sh tanks in
my house. I'd skin-dive to find just the
right ones. Anisotremus virginicus ,
Holacanthus ciliaris , Chaetodon
capistratus . You name it . Then one day
I say, fuck fish . I renounce fish. I
vow to never set foo t in the ocean again,
that's how much fuck fish . That was
seventeen year s ago and I have never
since stuck so mu ch as a toe into that
ocean. And I love the ocean!
ORLEAN
(beat)
But why?
LAROCHE
(shrugs)
Done with fish. *
OMITTED56 56 *
INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - DAY 57 57
Kaufman sits in sile nce across from hi s female therapist.
KAUFMAN
I'm still mast urbating a lot.
THERAPIST
Uh-huh.
(beat)
The same woman? *
KAUFMAN
I mean, not a lot a lot.
(beat)
No. Different woman. The ne w girl I'm *
obsessed with. *
THERAPIST
Burger King? Dimples and sparkly eyes? *
KAUFMAN
No. California Pizza Kitchen.
THERAPIST
Right. Red hai r, likes orchids? *
Kaufman nods. * pg. 36
CONTINUED:55 55
(CONTINUED)THERAPIST (CONT'D)
So do you t hink you'll talk to this one? *
EXT. SEMINOLE NUR SERY - DAY 57A 57A *
Orlean pulls up to the nursery. A few Indians are hauling *
plants. She r ecognizes Vinson from the cour thouse. Today *
he's wearing a green t-shirt with w hite skulls. His long- *
black hair is braide d. He's handsome. Orlean approaches. *
ORLEAN *
Hi. I'm looking for John Laroche. *
Vinson comes over to her. His eyes are gentle. She's taken. *
ORLEAN (cont'd) *
Hi. Hi. I 'm writing an article about *
John and I thought I 'd drop by to... *
VINSON *
John's not here today. *
ORLEAN *
Oh. *
(beat) *
So you were in the swamp with him, right? *
I saw you at the cou rthouse... is how I *
know. *
VINSON *
Yes. I'm V inson Osceola. *
ORLEAN *
Susan Orlean. Could we maybe talk for a *
bit? I'm just trying to get a feel for -- *
VINSON *
You have very beautiful hair. *
He gently reaches out and touches it. *
ORLEAN *
Oh. Thank you. I washed it this *
morning, so... I'm using a new *
conditioner and.. . Anyway... Oy... *
VINSON *
I can see your sadness. I t's lovely. My *
heart holds yours. *
ORLEAN *
(taken aback) *
I'm just a little tired. * pg. 37
CONTINUED:57 57
(CONTINUED)Vinson nods, c ompletely present. *
ORLEAN (cont'd) *
So maybe we could go and chat. I could *
get some backg round for the -- *
VINSON *
I'm not going to talk to y ou much. It's *
not personal. It 's the Indian way. *
Vinson smiles. It cuts right th rough her. He touches her *
hand and heads back to work. Sh e watches him haul potted *
plants, immersed in the activity, muscles straining against *
his shirt. Orlea n scribbles "He turns me on" on her notepad. *
She just st ands there. *
INT. CALIFORNI A PIZZA KITCHEN - DAY 58 58 *
Kaufman, hair com bed, sits nervously in a booth, watching
Alice. He tenses as she comes up to h im. She smi les warmly. *
KAUFMAN
Hi!
ALICE
Hey! Some key lime pie fo r ya today?
KAUFMAN
(thrilled s he remembered)
Okay, yeah. T hat sounds great.
ALICE
I'll pick you out an extra large piece.
Preferred customer.
She winks at him. He's so in love.
KAUFMAN
Thank you. That's really sweet of you.
ALICE
Well, I'm just a sweetie, ain 't I. Still *
reading about orc hids, I hope.
KAUFMAN
Yes, I am, in fact! *
ALICE
A friend of mine has this pretty little *
pink one, grow s right on a tree branch.
Just like that. I can't remem -- pg. 38
CONTINUED:57A 57A
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
That's what 's called an epiphyte.
ALICE
(pointing at him excitedly)
Right! Right! Boy, you k now your stuff!
KAUFMAN
Not really. I 'm just learning.
Epiphytes grow on trees, b ut they're not
parasites. They get all their
nourishment from the ai r and rain.
ALICE
Well, I'm impress ed. That's great.
Awkward pause.
KAUFMAN
There are more than thirty thousand kinds
of orchids in the world.
ALICE
Wow, that's a lot, huh?
KAUFMAN
Yeah.
ALICE
So I'll be right back with a big slice of
key lime pie f or my orchid expert.
He beams. She sm iles and turns to leave. K aufman blurts:
KAUFMAN
But, so, anyway, I w as also w ondering...
Alice turns back, still smiling.
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
I'm going up to t his orchid show on
Saturday in Santa Barbara? And I --
Alice's smile slips away. Her w armth dissipates.
ALICE
Oh, um, well --
KAUFMAN
I'm sorry. I apologize. I'm sorry. pg. 39
CONTINUED:58 58
(CONTINUED)ALICE
(nodding)
So I'll be rig ht back with your pie then.
He nods, watch es Alice walk away and say someth ing to another
waitress. The other waitress looks over at him . He sweats.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
I am fat. I am old. I have to get out *
of here right now. Fuck the pie. *
The other waitress b rings his pie. He smiles a thank you and *
obligingly eats. *
INT. NEW YORKE R - MORNING 59 59
Orlean, at her de sk, copies something fr om her notebook onto *
the computer.
ORLEAN (V.O.) *
There are more than thirty thousand known
orchid species . One speci es looks like a
German shepherd...
EXT. SANTA BARBARA O RCHID SHOW - DAY 60 60
Kaufman walks alone amo ng the crowd of orchid e nthusiasts,
past a Santa Barba ra Orchid Society sign. He tries to study
the flowers. They are dull. He forces hims elf to look.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
... one looks like an onion, one looks
like an octopus. One looks...
Kaufman finds his at tention drifting f rom orchids to women:
all different shapes, colors, personalities, some in subtle
clothing, some in garish clot hing, all glowing.
ORLEAN (V.O .) (cont'd)
... like a sch ool teacher, on e looks like
a gymnast, one looks like a Midwestern
beauty queen, one looks li ke a New York
intellectual with whom you'd do the
Sunday Times crossword puzzle in bed.
One looks like that girl in high school
with creamy sk in. One has eyes that *
dance. One has e yes that contain the
sadness of the world.
He is sick wit h adoration for the women, who pay him no mind. pg. 40
CONTINUED: (2)58 58
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN (V.O .) (cont'd)
Nothing in science c an account for the
way some people f eel about orchids.
Those love them, lov e them madly.
One by one the women turn to the me n they're wi th: a whisper
in the ear, a shared look, an arm slipped through an arm.
Kaufman is alone in this sea of people and flowers.
OMITTED61 61 *
MONTAGE62 62 *
This sequence shows the entire history of mankind from a
world sparsely populated with primitive hunt er-gatherers to
today's overcrowded tec hnological society . We see the
history of architect ure, war, re ligion, commerc e. We see
murder and procre ation. We see man interacting with his
environment: f arming, eating meat, admiring a view. We see
old age and birth . We see it again and agai n at dizzying
speed. We see La roche as a child alone with hi s turtles. We
see Orlean as a c hild alone with her d iary. We see Alice
serving food, smilin g at customers. We finish on sad Kaufman
getting into his car and leaving the Santa B arbara Orchid
Show. The entire sequence takes two minutes.
INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - DAY 63 63
Kaufman talks to the therapist.
KAUFMAN
I could tell a woman I'm a scr eenwriter *
and I could get laid.
THERAPIST
I'm sure tha t's true. *
KAUFMAN
But I want them to l ike me. The way I
like them. The way I'd do anything for *
some woman walkin g down the street. A
million women walkin g down the street. I
don't need to kno w what their jobs is. I *
don't need to know them at all.
(a terrible sadness)
No one will ever love me like that.
Kaufman glances d own at his t herapist's breasts . He does it
fast and unint entionally. He quickly shifts back to her
face. His therap ist wraps her s hawl around her. pg. 41
CONTINUED:60 60INT. SHOW H ALL - DAY 64 64
Crowded with o rchid lovers. Noisy chatter a nd calliope
music. Elaborate displays inclu de orchids on a ferris wheel,
plastic clowns, a nd a booth that looks like a circus big top.
LAROCHE
Once you get t he sickness, it takes over
your life. Look at me. It's all I think *
about.
(dramatic pause)
It'll happen to y ou. You'll see.
ORLEAN
I don't know. I' m not prone to --
Laroche runs o ver to a flower, f ondles its petals.
LAROCHE
Angraecum s esquipedale ! Beauty! God!
Darwin wrote a bout this one.
ORLEAN
Uh-huh.
LAROCHE
Charles Darwin? Evolution gu y? Hello?
ORLEAN
(annoyed)
I know who Darwin is.
INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - NIGHT 65 65
A depressed Kaufm an fishes on hi s floor thro ugh an ever
increasing pile of books: about turtles, mirror re silvering, *
fish, Hegel, etc. He finds Th e Portable Darwin . The cover *
features a dag uerreotype of Darwin. K aufman paces and reads.
INT. BOOK-LINED STUDY - NIGHT 66 66
SUBTITLE : ENGLAND, ONE HUNDR ED AND THIRTY NINE YEARS EARLIER
Sepia. A sick ly Darwin writes at his desk.
DARWIN (V.O.)
Therefore I should i nfer from analogy
that probably all th e organic beings
which have ever lived on this earth have
descended from some one pr imordial form,
into which life w as first breathed. pg. 42INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - NIGHT 67 67
Kaufman looks off into space, th inking. Silenc e. Suddenly,
he grabs his mini -recorder and paces like a caged animal.
KAUFMAN
We start before life. All is silent... *
EXT. SHOW H ALL - DAY 68 68
Blasting music. Crowds. Laroch e shows the flo wer to Orlean.
LAROCHE
See that necta ry all the w ay down there?
Darwin hypothe sized a moth with a nose
twelve inch es long to pollinate it.
Everyone thoug ht he was a loon. Then,
sure enough, they found this moth with a
twelve inch proboscis -- proboscis means
nose, by the way -- and --
ORLEAN
I know what pr oboscis means.
LAROCHE
Let's not g et off the s ubject. This
isn't a pissin g contest. The point is
what's wonderf ul is that e very one of
these flowers has a specif ic relationship
with the insect t hat pollinates it.
EXT. MEADOW - DAY69 69
We're with an ins ect as it buzzes along.
LAROCHE (V.O.)
There are orch ids that look exactly like
a particula r insect.
It finds an or chid which it r esembles. It lands on the
flower and begins rapidly jerkin g its abdomen.
LAROCHE (V.O.) (cont'd)
So it's attracted to the f lower, like a *
lover. Think about it. The insect has *
no choice b ut to make love to that *
flower. The flower insists. And this *
attraction, this passion, is so much *
larger than either of t hem. Neither *
understands the s ignificance of this *
interaction. But because of it, the *
world lives. * pg. 43
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)The insect, covered with p ollen, carries *
it off, falls in love with another flower *
and pollinates it . How did this *
relationship dev elop? This odd *
connection? Does it matter? Can we *
fight it? Should we? *
The insect, co vered in pollen, f lies away. It merges with
thousands of insects doing the same th ing: Flying, buzzing
around flowers. *
INT. SHOW H ALL - DAY 70 70 *
Orlean looks at L aroche. In the ba ckground peo ple buzz *
around flowers: f eel petals, stare dee p into nectaries, *
jabber passionate ly, carry boxes of plants. *
LAROCHE
You gotta fall in love with t hem. Once
you learn anything a bout orchids , you'll
devote your life to learning everything
about them. You h ave to. You're *
supposed to. *
Orlean looks at Laro che, then deepl y into vario us flowers: a *
dizzying array of colors and sha pes. She re mains detached *
and scribbles on her pad: "Is th is guy more ali ve than I am?" *
INT. APARTMENT - EARLY EVENING 71 71
Orlean sits at the dining room table with he r husband and
another couple. She is detached here as well.
HUSBAND
He's a great c haracter. No front teeth.
One of those trai ler guys, not too
educated, but taught himse lf everything
there is to know about --
(punchline)
-- orchids!
MALE GUEST
Orchids? I love tha t. It's unexpected.
HUSBAND
Still lives wi th his dad. Right, Susie?
Orlean nods.
FEMALE GUEST
Oh, that's a great detail. pg. 44
CONTINUED:69 69
LAROCHE (V.O.) (cont'd)
(CONTINUED)HUSBAND
So, Susie gets to do a natura l history
thing, which she loves, plus this
tremendously quir ky character --
Orlean's husband goes on talking, but his voice goes under.
They smile at each o ther, but there's a terrible distance *
between them. She g ets up and heads toward the bathroom. *
ORLEAN (V.O.)
I wanted to want something as much as
people wanted these plants...
INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS 72 72
Orlean enters and stares at hers elf in the mirror.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
... but it isn 't part of my constitution.
HUSBAND (O.S.)
What is it about people who collect, who *
get obsessed w ith these... things? It's *
a real modern phenomenon ripe for the
picking, no pu n intended --
ORLEAN (V.O.)
I suppose I do ha ve one un embarrassed
passion.
Orlean past her o wn reflection to the reflection of her
husband chatting in the background.
INT. NEW YORKE R OFFICES - EARLY EVENING 73 73
Orlean is at her des k. We see "I supp ose I do have one *
unembarrassed passio n" on the compu ter screen. Orlean cries *
and types. As th e words appe ar on her scree n, we hear them *
in voice-over.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
I want to know how it feels to care about
something p assionately.
INT. LARGE EMPTY LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 74 74
Kaufman paces furiou sly with his mi ni-cassette recorder.
He's a sweaty mess. pg. 45
CONTINUED:71 71
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
... then, afte r the history of life on
the planet, in the last seconds of the
montage, we see the whole of human
history: tool- making, hunting , farming,
war, lust, religion. Yearning. Then,
bam! Cut to Su san Orlean w riting a book
about orchids. A nd the movie begins.
He rewinds the recorder, presses "play." As he listens, he *
slowly shifts from unbridled enthusiasm to a bottomless pit
of depression.
TAPED KA UFMAN VOICE
We start before l ife begins. All is *
silent. We see t he first amino acid and *
show step by step how thin gs mutated,
adapted, evolved. T his has never been *
attempted in a movie before. It breaks
every rule. T his is amazing! *
The taped voice c ontinues. K aufman stares despondently out *
the window, in to the night. The front door bursts open and *
Donald charges in. Kaufman q uickly turns of f the recorder. *
DONALD
McKee is a genius! And hilarious! He
just comes up wit h these grea t jokes, and
everyone laughs! But he's serious, too,
Charles. You'd love him. He's all for
originality, just like you! But he says,
we have to realize we all write in a
genre, so we must find our originality
within that genre. See , it turns out
there hasn't been a new genre since
Fellini invented the mockumentary!
Kaufman sits. Donal d waits for a r esponse, hea ving with
excitement. No r esponse from Kaufman.
DONALD (cont'd) *
My genre is thril ler! What's yours? *
KAUFMAN
(quietly)
You and I shar e the same DNA. Is there
anything more lon ely than this?
OMITTED75 75 * pg. 46
CONTINUED:74 74INT. ORLEAN'S STU DY - EVENING 76 76
Orlean looks at the photo of Laroche, sits sadly for a
moment, then type s. Through an open d oor, we see Orlean's *
husband at the ki tchen table finishing his dinner. *
LAROCHE (V.O.) *
I got married. S he was beautiful, my *
wife. We o pened a nursery. *
OMITTED77-86 77-86 *
INT. NURSERY - DAY87 87 *
Laroche and his wife stand amidst lonely-lookin g plant *
enthusiasts who ask him question s, browse, stare into space.
LAROCHE (V.O.)
People started coming out of the
woodwork, to ask me stuff, to admire my
plants, to adm ire me.
One guy pulls Laroche aside. *
CUSTOMER #1 *
John, what is thi s? It's amazing! *
LAROCHE *
Catasetum tenebrosum . From Peru. *
CUSTOMER #2 *
John, would yo u come over and look at my *
Eulophia? It's n ot doing well and I *
don't want to move it. *
LAROCHE *
Are you simula ting it's dry season? *
Because excessive watering will -- *
CUSTOMER #2 *
But Dave Ma xwell said -- *
LAROCHE *
Why would anyone listen to Maxwell? *
CUSTOMER #3 *
Hey, did you s ee the number he brought to *
the Miami show? Could be his daughter. *
CUSTOMER #1 *
It's a shame. Laura was such a class *
act, too. Say, John, what can you tell *
me about this Dactylorhiza ? * pg. 47
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE *
Everything. *
Everyone gathe rs around as Laroc he begins to talk. *
INT. VAN - NIGHT88 88
Laroche drives. Orl ean looks out at the dark night.
LAROCHE
I believe some folks were really spending *
time with me because they were lonely. *
Orlean looks at h im. After a long silence, Laroch e muses:
LAROCHE (cont'd)
You know why I lo ve plants? Because
they're so mutable. Adaptation is a *
profound proce ss. It m eans you figure *
out how to thrive in the w orld. People *
can't sometimes. *
ORLEAN *
Well, it's eas ier for plan ts; they have *
no memory. Th ey just move on to what's *
next. For a person, it's almost shameful *
to adapt. It's like running away. *
INT. AGENT'S O FFICE - DAY 89 89
Kaufman sits with his agent Marty in a glass-w alled office. *
KAUFMAN
I don't know how to adapt this. I
should've just stuck with my own stuff.
I don't know why I thought I could --
MARTY *
See her? I fucke d her up the ass.
Marty waves at a p assing beauty. She waves back, keeps *
walking. Kaufman follows the gi rl's ass wit h his eyes.
MARTY (cont'd) *
Just kidding. Hey, maybe I can help. *
Kaufman looks at Marty. Will he accept hel p from an agent? *
He glances at Mar ty's non-receding hairline, his full head of *
hair. Marty smiles at him. *
KAUFMAN
It's about flowers. pg. 48
CONTINUED:87 87
(CONTINUED)MARTY *
It's not only about flowers. It's got
that crazy plant nut guy. He's funny,
right?
Kaufman pulls out a folded newspape r clipping, reads:
KAUFMAN
"There is not nearly enough of him to
fill a book." So Orl ean "digresses in *
long passes." Blah blah blah... "No *
narrative real ly unites these passages." *
(looking up defiantly)
New York Times Bo ok Review. I can't
structure this. It's that sprawling New
Yorker shit.
Marty gets dis tracted by another s exy woman walking by. *
MARTY *
Oh man. I'd fuck her up the ass.
KAUFMAN
There's no story. T he book has no story.
MARTY *
Make one up. The book's a jumping off
point. No one in town can make up a
crazy story li ke you. You're the king.
KAUFMAN
I didn't want to do that this time. It's
someone else's material. I have a
responsibility ... Anyway, I wanted to
grow as a writ er, do somet hing profound
and simple. Show people h ow amazing
flowers are.
MARTY *
Are they amazing?
KAUFMAN
I don't know.
(uncertain) *
I think they are. *
MARTY *
Look, what I t ell a lot of guys is pick *
another film and use it as a model. I
always thought this one co uld be like
Apocalypse Now . The girl journalist *
spends the who le movie searching for the
crazy plant nu t guy -- what's his name? pg. 49
CONTINUED:89 89
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
John Laroche.
MARTY *
She has to tra vel deep into the darkest
swamps of Africa to find the mysterious *
"Laroche."
KAUFMAN
I need you to get me out of this.
MARTY *
Charlie, at th e end of the day, I think
it would be a terrible car eer move.
INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - DAY 89A 89A *
Kaufman, alone in bed, ejaculate s. He lies the re. After a *
few moments, he gets up and sits naked in front of his *
typewriter. He reads the page. *
KAUFMAN (V.O.) *
The Orchidaceae is a large -- *
The empty bedroom seems to get bigger and sadder. *
EXT. COURTHOUSE - DAY89B 89B *
A crowd of people. Report ers talk to video cameras. *
REPORTER *
... three S eminole men and a Miami orchid *
grower for trying to steal rare orchids -- *
Seminole lawyer Lerner is on the steps talki ng to reporters. *
LERNER *
The only reason we made the no-contest *
plea was for convenience. *
Laroche hides around the corner of the building, smoking and *
ranting at Orlean. *
LAROCHE *
I told you I'd be crucified. The judge *
is a moron. She didn't kn ow shit about *
Indian rights and she didn 't know shit *
about shit. *
Buster, at his car, talks to reporters. * pg. 50
CONTINUED: (2)89 89
(CONTINUED)BUSTER *
Just like any treaty you g uys sign, it *
isn't worth the p aper it's printed on. *
A park official is being interviewed. *
PARK OFFICIAL *
The ruling is mur ky. They were nailed on *
a technicality. It doe sn't protect the *
preserves the way we would 've hoped. *
INT. RESTAURANT - DAY89C 89C *
Orlean interviews the prosecuter. She sips iced tea. *
PROSECUTOR *
I was determined to convict them, *
especially Laroche, who I found so *
maddening. It was all so maddening, what *
with the prote ction the Nativ e Americans *
have. *
ORLEAN *
Hence the branches. *
(turns to waitress) *
Could I get so me lemon, please? *
PROSECUTOR *
Exactly. T he Native Ameri can protection *
is only in reg ard to endan gered species. *
But the endang ered species were attached *
to ordinary branches. Nobody's allowed *
to take those, not even the goddamned *
Indians. So that's what we got 'em on. *
ORLEAN *
It's a hollow victory, isn't it? Laroche *
gets a five hundred dollar fine and a six *
month ban from the Fakahatchee. *
PROSECUTOR *
(shaking his head) *
I hate that gu y. Please d on't put in I *
said, goddamne d Indians. *
MONTAGE90 90
Jumble of images: Laroche talking, flo wers, Indians, Orlean, *
the trial. The rapid fire click -click of typing.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
Okay, we open with Laroche. He's funny.
Okay, he says, I love to mutate plants. * pg. 51
CONTINUED:89B 89B
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)Mutation is fu n.... Okay, we show *
flowers, okay, we have the co urt case. We *
show Laroche, he says, I was mutated as *
baby, that's why I'm so smart...that's
funny. Okay we open at the beginning of
time...no, okay we open with Laroche
driving into the swamp, okay -- *
INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - NIGHT 91 91
Kaufman awakes wi th a start. En thusiastic off- screen typing.
He peers throu gh the darkness at the books, papers coffee *
cups. He picks up The Orchid Thief , opens it, reads. *
ORLEAN (V.O.) *
The pioneer-ad ventures in Flo rida had to *
travel inward, into a place as dark and *
dense as steel wo ol. They had to *
confront what a dark, dens e, overabundant *
place might have hidden in it. *
OMITTED92 92 *
INT. LAROCHE'S LIVING R OOM - NIGHT 93 93
Lit only by the l ight of the TV L aroche's father watches. *
Laroche talks on the phone and h alf watches TV. *
LAROCHE *
What are you up to? *
INT. ORLEAN'S APA RTMENT - NIGHT 93A 93A *
Orlean lies on her bed in her underwear. *
ORLEAN *
Ah, David's out of town. I'm just *
hanging out. How about you? *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE) *
Nothing. Going o ver some paperwork. *
ORLEAN *
Oh, I don't mean to bother you. Just *
thought I could g et some more info. *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE) *
No problem. *
Orlean is sile nt for a moment. *
ORLEAN *
I think you say some pretty smart things, *
John. * pg. 52
CONTINUED:90 90
KAUFMAN (V.O.) (cont'd)
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE *
The smartest guy I know. *
Orlean starts to tear up, then g ets professiona l to cover. *
ORLEAN *
So, tell me, what happened to your *
nursery? *
INT. LAROCHE'S LIVING R OOM - NIGHT 93B 93B *
Laroche glances at the TV. On top are two f ramed photos: one *
of Laroche's sist er and one of Laroche's mother. *
LAROCHE *
It was going well , but someti mes bad *
things happen. Darkness descends. *
INT. LAROCHE'S LI VING ROOM - DAY 94 94
SUBTITLE : NORTH MIAMI, NI NE YEARS EARLIER
Laroche ushers hi s wife, mother, and u ncle out of the house.
His father watche s TV. There's only a photo of Laroche's
sister on t he TV set now.
LAROCHE
Sure you don't want to come, dad?
His father doe sn't respond.
INT. LAROCHE'S CAR - A FEW MOMENTS LATER 95 95
They pile into a nice new Americ an car, his wif e in front,
his mother and uncle in back. Laroche pu lls into traffic.
UNCLE JIM
Nursery business good, Johnny?
LAROCHE
Everything's good , Uncle Jim. This last
year's been a dream, I'm telling you.
We're finally pul ling out of debt.
MOTHER
Amen, honey. Pra ise Allah, Buddha,
Vishnu. And all the rest of 'em.
Laroche smiles ba ck at his mother. A scr eech of tires and
another car crash es head on into th eirs. Laroc he's face
smacks the steeri ng wheel, his front teeth fly in all *
directions. pg. 53
CONTINUED:93A 93A
(CONTINUED)His mother rocket s forward sm ashing through the windshield.
His uncle hits Laroche's wife in the head , jerking her
forward and landing on top of her.
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY96 96
Banged-up and mis sing his front teeth, Laroche stands amidst
a group of mourners at a double funeral.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY 97 97
Laroche, in his mourning suit, sits by his comatose wife.
EXT. LAROCHE'S STOOP - NIGHT 98 98 *
It's dark. Laroche, on the cord less phone, stares out at the *
street where the accident too k place. *
LAROCHE
She divorced me soon after she regained *
consciousness.
INT. ORLEAN'S APA RTMENT -NIGHT 98A 98A *
Orlean is crying har d now. She has the phone mouthpiece *
flipped up so she can't be heard . She regai ns control and *
flips it down to talk. *
ORLEAN *
If I almost died, I think I'd leave my *
marriage, too. *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE) *
Why? *
ORLEAN *
Because I coul d. It's like a free pass. *
No one can jud ge you if yo u almost died. *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE) *
I judged her. And then, a dding insult to *
injury, the hurri cane destroyed my *
greenhouse. *
EXT. STREET - DAY98B 98B *
Laroche walks throug h a field where th e remains of his *
greenhouse are sc attered about: glass, wood, and the green *
pulp that was onc e plant life. * pg. 54
CONTINUED:95 95
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE (V.O.) *
Everything. I kn ew it would break my *
heart to start an other nursery, so when
the Seminol es wanted a white guy, an
expert, to get their nursery going, I
took the job.
INT. LITTLE BOY'S BEDRO OM - NIGHT 98C 98C *
Laroche is on his cordless phone . The many turtle posters *
been replace w ith many orc hid posters. *
LAROCHE *
I wasn't gonna give them a conventional *
little potted- plant place. I was gonna *
give them s omething amazin g. Y'know? *
ORLEAN ( PHONE VOICE) *
Yeah, John, I kno w. I understand. *
INT. PARTY HOU SE - NIGHT 99 99
A sad Kaufman, be er in hand, sees Marg aret across a room *
crowded with y oung Hollywood types. He tries to duck but she *
spots him. She runs over and hu gs him. She's drunk. *
MARGARET *
Hey, man! *
KAUFMAN *
Hi, Margaret. *
MARGARET *
You hate me. You don't call me no more. *
KAUFMAN *
I've been busy is all. *
MARGARET *
Oh. *
(beat) *
Well, sit, sit. *
She pulls him down onto a cou ch and puts her arm around him. *
MARGARET (cont'd) *
So, how's the script, lover? *
KAUFMAN *
I shouldn't have tak en it. I can't *
figure out how to make it work. I wanted *
to do something a mazing. I'm full of *
shit. I don't know. There's no story. * pg. 55
CONTINUED:98B 98B
(CONTINUED)MARGARET *
Oh, Charlie. Boy. It is a challenging *
one. God bles s you for tr ying. Man... *
so did you get anything out of going into *
the swamp? *
KAUFMAN *
Um -- *
MARGARET *
S-s-scary the way Orlean desc ribed it. I *
assumed there'd be some dramatic -- *
KAUFMAN *
It was s cary, but... *
MARGARET *
No, story, huh? *
KAUFMAN *
Not really. *
A young man appro aches. Margare t doesn't bothe r removing her *
arm from Kaufm an's shoulder. *
MARGARET *
Hey you. *
(to Kaufman)
Charlie, this is my friend David.
Kaufman and David shake hands.
DAVID
Hey.
KAUFMAN
Hey.
MARGARET *
David spent some time in the Everglades. *
Charlie said it wasn 't really helpful for *
him to be down there, Davey. *
DAVID *
No? I was fascinate d. I had a piece *
about it in Na tional Geographic . I'll *
get Marg to send it to you. *
KAUFMAN *
Oh, wow. That'd be great. *
DAVID *
Cool. Well, we should head, Marg. * pg. 56
CONTINUED:99 99
(CONTINUED)MARGARET
(pecks Kaufm an on cheek) *
You'll figure it out, man. You're the
best. And you are amazing.
Kaufman watches M argaret and David head off. D avid puts his
hand on Margaret's ass. She kis ses his ear.
INT. NEW YORKER OFFICE - EVENING 100 100
Orlean looks at a book called Th e Native Orchid s of Florida .
She sees a pho to of a ghost o rchid glowing whit e on the page. *
A line of text ca tches her eye: "Shoul d one be lucky enough
to see a flower all else will se em eclipsed." Orlean closes
the book, sits there. She di als the phone.
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE)
Yeah.
ORLEAN
Hey. *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE)
Susie-Q!
ORLEAN
So I was th inking it'd be good for the
article for me to go into the Fakahatchee
to see a ghost . I'd like you to take me. *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE)
I'd love to, but, hey, I'm banned. *
Goddamn crucified me. Get one of them
monkey-suited rangers. 'C ourse, they *
wouldn't be ab le to locate a ghost, if it
climbed off a tree a nd shoved itself up
their ass. Hey, put that in the article!
INT. EMPTY BEDROO M - MORNING 101 101
A hollow-eyed Kaufma n puts mosquito ne tting in his suitcase. *
INT. EMPTY LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 102 102
Donald types chee rily on a lap-top computer at an ergonomic
desk. Kaufman de scends the stairs w ith the suitcase. *
KAUFMAN
The swamp is dark, d angerous, as dense as *
steel wool, Donal d. I don't know if *
it'll kill me, but if it doesn't, I'll *
have something ho nest to give the world. * pg. 57
CONTINUED: (2)99 99
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)That's the dif ference between writing and
aping some guy 's "principles." *
Donald looks up from his work.
DONALD
Charles, I'm putting a son g in. Like *
when characters s ing pop songs in their
pajamas and da nce around. I thought it
might be a nice w ay to break the tension. *
So, try to think of a song about multiple *
personality. Hey, where you going? *
OMITTED103 103
INT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT 104 104
Kaufman reads Th e Orchid Thief .
ORLEAN (V.O.)
You would have to want someth ing very *
badly to go looki ng for it in the *
Fakahatchee Strand. *
EXT. SWAMP - DAY104A 104A *
SUBTITLE : FAKAHATCHEE, ONE HUNDRED AND F IFTEEN YEARS EARLIER *
A surveyor scribbles in a notebook. T he pond is alive with *
alligators. *
ORLEAN (V.O.) *
An early surve yor made this e ntry in his *
field notes: A pond surrounded by cypress *
swamp, impract icable. Full of monstrous *
alligators, counted fifty and stopped. *
INT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT 104B 104B *
Kaufman is getting more nervous. He closes the book and *
watches a steward ess tending to ano ther passenger. *
INT. STUDIO AP ARTMENT - NIGHT 105 105
Kaufman fixes a s alad in the kit chenette. The door opens and
the stewardess enters dragging her luggage on a little cart.
KAUFMAN
Hey! How was Denver?
STEWARDESS
Oh, God, swee tie, I'm so glad to be home. *
(kisses him) * pg. 58
CONTINUED:102 102
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)Did you get an y writing done? God, I've *
waited all day to feel you inside me. *
The stewardess slips out of her blazer, unbu ttons her blouse.
Kaufman slides hi s hand into her open shirt and caresses her
breast. She s ighs contentedly.
INT. AIRPLANE BAT HROOM - NIGHT 106 106
Kaufman finishes jerkin g off, stands, pul ls up his pants,
adjusts himself, and exits th e bathroom.
INT. AIRPLANE - CONTINUOUS 107 107
Kaufman steps out of the bathroo m. The steward ess is there
talking to another stewardess. She regards Kau fman blankly,
then goes back to her conversation. He heads up the aisle.
One of the stewar desses laughs. He tenses, ta kes his seat. *
OMITTED108-114 108-114 *
INT. RENTAL CA R - MORNING 115 115
A pale, pasty Kaufman d rives down a road sur rounded by swamp.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
The swampy part of t he Fakahatchee is hot *
and wet and bu ggy and full of cottonmouth *
snakes and dia mond back ra ttlers and *
alligators and sn apping turtles and
poisonous plan ts and wild hogs and... *
OMITTED116 116 *
EXT. SWAMP - MORNING117 117
The sky is overca st. Mike Ow en leads Kaufman t hrough a cool
swamp, which is c ompletely dry. The two men walk easily on
peaty ground. Kaufman, slathere d with sun s creen and covered
head to foot in unne cessary protect ive clothing, tries to be
interested in Owen's lecture. He takes notes. *
MIKE OWEN
So the whole ecos ystem is six thousand
years old. Five to six th ousand years
old. About that. Five or six.
KAUFMAN
Okay.
MIKE OWEN
Now the Fakaha tchee is the largest of all
the cyrpess strands, proba bly in the
world. pg. 59
CONTINUED:105 105
STEWARDESS (cont'd)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)I don't know of a ny cypress strand
bigger. It's about twenty mi les long, or
nineteen, nineteen to twenty, nineteen...
and right here it 's about five miles
wide, four and a half, five. So, again,
it's twenty mi les long, th ree to five
miles wide.
KAUFMAN
Um, why isn't it wet? Susan Orlean said
when she came she was up to her thighs in
horrible, black w ater. It was *
sweltering. There were snakes and
alligators. S he said it w as the scariest
thing she's ever done.
MIKE OWEN
Well, there's usually water. We've been *
going through a bit of a d rought. Good
for us t oday, though! *
OMITTED118 118 *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT119 119
Orlean, in her under wear and still dir ty from the swamp, *
holds a phone to her ear. She h as cute little dirty smudges
on her face. Her caked-with-mud clothes are on the floor. *
ORLEAN (V.O.)
That night after Mike Ow en took me into *
the swamp, I called Laroche. *
ORLEAN (CONT'D)
(into phone)
I didn't see anything but bare roots.
And I had this thoug ht. Mayb e the ghost
orchid only blooms in t he minds of people
who've walked too long in the swamp.
INT. ORLEAN'S APA RTMENT - NIGHT 120 120
Orlean types. It's pouring and sheets of ra in beat against
her window. She glances at her husban d, across the room
reading a book. She sighs, c ontinues typing.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
What I didn't say to him is that life
seemed to be filled with things that were
just like the ghost orchid -- wonderful
to imagine and easy to fall in love with
but a little fantast ic and fleet ing and
out of reach. pg. 60
CONTINUED:117 117
MIKE OWEN (cont'd) OMITTED121-123 121-123 *
INT. PLANE - NIGHT123A 123A *
A morose Kaufm an reads The Or chid Thief . *
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
... fleeting and out of reach. *
Kaufman is deeply moved. He hi-lites the passage, then looks
at the smiling photo of Orlean. He finds himse lf lost in it.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT124 124
Orlean, dirty from the swamp, is on the phone.
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE)
(beat,clear s throat)
Jesus Christ, of course there are ghost
orchids out th ere! I've stolen them!
(beat, a cl eared throat)
You should have gone w ith me.
CLOSE-UP OF MAGAZINE 125 125
The line: "... th en he cleared h is throat and said: 'You
should have gone with me.'"
VALERIE (O.C.)
Beautifully wr itten. R eally unique.
PULL BACK TO:INT. RESTAURAN T - MIDDAY 126 126
Busy lunch crowd. Valerie sits at a table with Orlean and an
open New Yorke r magazine.
ORLEAN
Thank you. Th anks very much.
VALERIE
We're big fans . Laroche is such a fun *
character.
ORLEAN
Yeah, John's a ch aracter all right.
VALERIE
It's funny and fr esh. And sad in a way.
ORLEAN
Well, thanks. Thank you. pg. 61
(CONTINUED)VALERIE
So we were wonder ing, what's next?
ORLEAN
Oh, um, Random House wants me to expand
it into a book . So I'll be doing that.
VALERIE
And there'll be more of Laroche?
ORLEAN
Yeah. More Jo hn, more orchids.
VALERIE
Y'know, we'd r eally like to option this. *
ORLEAN
(laughing)
You want to make it into a movie? *
VALERIE
Laroche is such a fun character. *
INT. VAN - DAY127 127
Laroche, wearing a Cleveland Ind ians T-shirt, drives crazily
thorugh the Holly wood, Florida S eminole reserva tion. Orlean
holds on, but seems to be enjoyi ng herself now.
LAROCHE
No shit I'm a fun character.
(beat)
Who's gonna play me?
Orlean laughs, a real affecti on for Laroche in her manner. *
ORLEAN
I've got to write it fi rst. Then
someone's gotta do t he screenplay. These *
things mostly never get made. So -- *
LAROCHE
I think I shou ld play me.
Orlean is charmed. Laroche swerves into a park ing space in
the nursery lot.
EXT. SEMINOLE NUR SERY - DAY 128 128
Laroche and Or lean get out of the van. pg. 62
CONTINUED:126 126
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
I've got all the right qualit ies to play
Laroche. While y ou write, I'll take *
acting classes. I'll study the shit out *
of acting. *
A few young India n guys haul bags of p otting soil and look at
Laroche sourly. Orlean scans the g rounds for Vinson. *
Laroche indicates the giant cart oon Indian on his T-shirt. *
LAROCHE
I wear this just to screw with 'em.
INT. TRAILER - CONTINUOUS 129 129
Laroche enters his office, looks at some papers on his desk.
LAROCHE
Most of them don' t even bothe r calling me
John anymore. Now i t's "Crazy White
Man." That's a good title for the movie. *
Before Orlean can respond, La roche picks up the phone and
dials an impos sibly long numb er. He w aits, gestures for
Orlean to sit on a chair piled high with junk.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
You won't h urt anything.
Orlean moves the junk over, shares the seat with it.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
(Yelling into phone)
Hello? Hello? Hi? This is John Laroche
from the Semin ole Nursery. Sem-ih-nole!
(to Orlean)
How do you say Se minole in Spanish?
(into phone)
That's right, yes ! Yeah, I w ant to order
some more of those pink string beans! *
(yelling)
Pink String Be ans! Pink String Beans!
Buster appears in the door.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
(into phone)
I'll call b ack. Back! *
(hangs up)
Hey, Buster.
BUSTER *
John. pg. 63
CONTINUED:128 128
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
I was trying to o rder some pink string
beans from Argentina.
BUSTER *
No kidding.
LAROCHE
I figure just becaus e Project Ghost
Orchid is dead, we'r e not closin g shop.
BUSTER
Listen, John --
LAROCHE
We'll get into plant multi plication. Buy
little ones, t urn 'em into big ones, sell
'em at a profit. Simple plant
multiplication fo r the masses.
BUSTER *
John, we're th inking maybe now's a good
time for you to t ake a few weeks.
Laroche stops short. He glances ov er at Orlean, humiliated
in front of he r. Her heart is brea king for him . There are
tears welling in her eyes. L aroche looks back at Buster.
ORLEAN
I'll wait outside.
LAROCHE
No. *
Laroche stares at Buster. Buste r stares back. Orlean does
what she can to m ake herself invisible.
LAROCHE (CONT'D) *
Y'know, the guys on my crew here, all
they do is smoke weed all day. I been
meaning to talk to y ou about that. So if
it's a question of productivity -- I got *
lot's of ideas, B uster, I'm really *
excited about. T he sprinklers were *
busted for a whil e, so all the dead *
shrubs... But I g ot it fixed. It's *
fixed. And we'll recover quick and -- *
INT. VAN - A F EW MINUTES LATER 130 130
Laroche weaves th rough traffic. Or lean holds on. pg. 64
CONTINUED:129 129
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
Goddamn politics. Crazy White Man's bad
publicity. Oooh, Crazy, craz y white man. *
(pounds steering wheel)
I can't believe I'm dealing with this!
(pounds steering wheel)
Like I could g ive a damn. If they fire
me, I'll sue. I already d id some legal
research on th is. They can't fire me.
And I ain't go ing to quit.
Laroche gets quie t and they driv e in silence. *
OMITTED131 131 *
INT. PHONE BOO TH - DAY 132 132 *
It's on the side of a desolate stretch of Florida road. *
Orlean dials the phone. It ring s for a long ti me. Finally:
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE)
(ghost-like)
Yeah?
INT. LITTLE BOY'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS 133 133 *
The flower poster s are gone. Th ere is nothing on the walls. *
The room looks sad, empty, an d anonymous. We don't see *
Laroche at all. He's in the room b ut the camera searchs and *
never finds him. *
ORLEAN ( PHONE VOICE) *
John, it 's Susan... *
LAROCHE (O.C.) *
Susan who? *
ORLEAN *
... Look, I was just wondering if you *
might be willing to talk some more. *
LAROCHE (O.C.)
What about?
ORLEAN ( PHONE VOICE)
John! Stop! I'm trying to put together *
a book. Don't just abandon me down here.
LAROCHE (O.C.)
I'm no longer interested in orchids. I'm
pursuing other avenues. I apologize for
any inconvenience this might cause you. pg. 65
CONTINUED:130 130INT. PHONE BOOTH - CONTINUOUS 134 134 *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE)
Thank you f or your time.
Laroche hangs up. O rlean stands th ere for a m oment, then *
falls to the floor and bre aks into tears. *
ORLEAN *
Goddamnit, Susan. Just stop crying! *
This is your fuck ing life! W hat are you *
doing? What a re you doing, what are -- *
INT. GIRL'S BE DROOM - NIGHT 135 135
SUBTITLE: CANTON, OHIO, THIRTY-FOU R YEARS EARLIER *
The little girl's room from befo re, but it's a teenager's *
room now. Bob Dylan 's Just Like a Woman plays on the stereo. *
On the walls are posters of Dylan, Velvet Un derground and a *
pilfered movie poster from Be rgman's Persona ; on the floor *
are records and books, a copy of I Been Down So Long It Looks *
Like Up to Me by Richard Fa rina. On the d resser, make-up, a *
tampax box, a NOW button. A blonde, skinny tee nage girl in *
embroidered, hip- hugger bell-bottoms a nd a peasant blouse, *
lies on her bed and writes in her journal.
TEENAGE GIR L (V.O.)
I baby-sat for Kelly tonight and just
stared into he r blue, infa nt eyes. She
is so pure, so pr esent, so beautiful.
What happens to ever yone? I apologized
to her for wha t she will have to become
to survive the nastiness. Then I cried.
I couldn't stop. At one point, Kelly
smiled up at me: the baby trying to
comfort the fu cked-up adul t. And I
thought, how perf ect, it's starting
already.
OMITTED136 136 *
MONTAGE137 137 *
Susan Orlean, her journalist persona on, tal ks to various *
orchid enthusiast s, visits nurserie s, sits in l ecture halls,
attends orchid shows. She is bo red and distracted.
INT. HOTEL ROO M - NIGHT 137A 137A *
Orlean sits on her bed, lonel y and lost. Sh e flips through *
her address book. T here is no one to call. * pg. 66
(CONTINUED)She studies he r orchid contact list. There's Vinson's phone *
number. After a long beat she dials the phone. *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - LATER137B 137B *
Orlean, dolled-up, anxiously gets ready to go out, eyes *
herself in the mi rror, plays with h er hair. The phone rings. *
She picks up. *
ORLEAN *
Hello? David! Hi. Not r eally. Um... *
okay. Hey, honey, c an I call you back? *
I've got an in terview and -- No, it might *
be late. L et me call you in the morning. *
Yeah. Work good? Good. Okay, hon, I'll *
speak to you in the morning. *
INT. HOTEL BAR - A LITTLE LATER 137C 137C *
Orlean sits by herself at a t able and watches the door. She *
sips a glass of c hampagne. H er notebook and tape recorder *
are on the table. After a few moments , Vinson ent ers. She *
waves. He saunte rs over and sits. *
ORLEAN *
(slightly tipsy) *
Hey, thanks for coming. T his should be *
really helpful. I'm glad you *
reconsidered talking. *
VINSON *
Yeah. Sure thing. *
There's a silence. *
ORLEAN *
Um, okay. So, what was it like for you, *
this whole media circus? *
Orlean fumbles to turn on her ta pe recorder. Vinson watches *
her trembly fingers. *
VINSON *
I don't know. Y'kno w? Just, y'know. *
ORLEAN *
Yeah. Uh-huh. It must've been crazy! *
Boy, I was just f ascinated with this *
story and, um, all the Nat ive American *
aspects and, y 'know, how... large the *
scope was and... * pg. 67
CONTINUED:137A 137A
(CONTINUED)Orlean trails off . Vinson is different than the last time *
she met him. He barely looks at her, he seems bored and *
impatient. Orlean is at a loss. *
ORLEAN (cont'd) *
... so I thought it would be helpful... *
for me... to hear a little bi t about your *
background and how you came to -- *
VINSON *
We should go to your room. I can reveal *
all sorts of Nati ve American aspects up *
there. *
ORLEAN *
Oh. Um, we ca n talk here. Y'know. I *
think we can -- t his seems fine... here. *
VINSON *
(stares at her for a moment) *
Listen, do you want to get laid or not. *
You were awfully fucking flirty on the *
phone. *
ORLEAN *
Oh. Gosh. No, I just -- Did I -- *
communicate so mething? No, no. No, I *
just wanted to ge t some, um, Native *
American, um, look, I apologi ze, if -- *
VINSON *
Ah, fuck. I drove an hour to get here. *
He heads out t he door without looking back. Or lean just sits *
there. She's sha king. She fini shes her drink. *
OMITTED138 138 *
INT. EMPTY HOU SE - NIGHT 139 139 *
Kaufman enters with his bags and heads to the stairs.
Donald, typing fu riously at h is desk, looks up.
DONALD
How was Flo rida, man?
KAUFMAN
(climbing t he stairs)
Okay.
DONALD
Hey, my script's goi ng amazing! Right
now I'm working o ut an Image System. pg. 68
CONTINUED:137C 137C
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)Because of my multip le personality theme,
I've chosen th e motif of broken mirrors
to show my pro tagonist's frag mented self.
Bob says an Im age System greatly
increases the complexity of an aesthetic
emotion. Bob says --
KAUFMAN
You sound like you're in a cult.
Kaufman disappear s upstairs.
DONALD
No, it's ju st good writing technique.
(types, then:)
Oh, I made you a cop y of McKee's Ten
Commandments. I've posted on e over both
our work areas.
INT. EMPTY BEDROO M - CONTINUOUS 140 140
Kaufman tears down t he Ten Comma ndments. Don ald appears *
backlit in the doorw ay and seems od dly threatening.
DONALD
You shouldn't hav e done that.
They look at each other. Donald breaks the tension, smiles.
DONALD (cont'd)
'Cause it's ex tremely helpful.
(lies down on floor) *
Hey, I got a s ong! "Happy Together." I *
was worried ab out putting a song in a
thriller, but Bob says Casablanca , one of *
the greatest screenplays e ver written, *
did exactly that. Mixed genres.
KAUFMAN
I need to go to b ed, Donald. I haven't
slept in a week.
DONALD
Okay. Cool. Good night. *
Donald remains on the floor.
OMITTED141 141 *
INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - NIGHT 142 142 *
Kaufman lies half -awake in bed, sweating, his eyes darting
back and forth. He looks over at the clo ck. It's 3:32. pg. 69
CONTINUED:139 139
DONALD (cont'd)
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
Damn it.
Donald is no long er in the room, bu t can be heard happily *
snoring off-screen. Kaufman sw itches on a lamp, pulls The *
Orchid Thief from his bag, flips through it. There are now
many yellow hi-li ted passages. He reads one.
KAUFMAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
There are too many ideas a nd things and
people, too ma ny directions to go. I was
starting to be lieve the reaso n it matters
to care passio nately about something is
that it whittles the world do wn to a more
manageable size.
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
Such sweet, sad i nsights. So true.
Kaufman flips to the glowing, smili ng author photo.
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
I like looking at you.
He stares at the photo. Its smile broadens. It talks.
ORLEAN PHOTO
I like looking at you, too . Charlie.
The photo smil es warmly at hi m. Kaufman closes his eyes,
begins to jerk off.
Then: Kaufman and Orlean a re in his bed together, making
love. She smiles at him through out. They finish.
Then: Kaufman is alo ne in bed, heaving . He looks at the
still smiling photo. It seems somehow sl eepy now.
KAUFMAN
I don't know how to do this. I'm afraid
I'll disappoint you. You' ve written a
beautiful book . I can't sleep. I'm
losing my hair. I'm fat and repulsive --
ORLEAN PHOTO
Shhh. You' re not. Whittl e it down.
Focus on one thing in the story, find the
thing you care pa ssionately about and
write about that.
Kaufman studies her delicate, melancholy face. He's in love. pg. 70
CONTINUED:142 142
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN PHOTO (cont'd)
(sweet, flirty smile)
I figured ther e might be something...
INT. KITCHEN - MORNING 143 143
Kaufman paces and ta lks animated ly into his mini-recorder.
KAUFMAN
We see Susan Orlean, delic ate, fragile,
beautiful, haunte d by lonelin ess, typing
at her desk. We hear her voice-over.
(reading book)
"John Laroche is a tall guy, skinny as a
stick..."
Donald, in his un derwear, enters wi th Caroline. S he's in a T- *
shirt we've se en Donald wearing. *
DONALD
Morning.
CAROLINE *
Hi! *
Kaufman looks up, sees Caroline with Donald, smiles. *
KAUFMAN
Hey, hey.
DONALD
(pouring coffee) *
You seem chipper.
KAUFMAN
I'm good. I have some new ideas.
CAROLINE *
God, you guys are so smart! It's like a *
brain fa ctory here. *
DONALD
(modestly) *
I got some ideas, too, this morning. *
CAROLINE *
Really, really good ones. *
DONALD *
I'm putting in a chase sequence now. The *
killer flees on h orseback with the girl.
The cop is after the m on a motorcycle. pg. 71
CONTINUED: (2)142 142
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)It's like a battle b etween motors and
horses. Like techno logy vers us horses.
KAUFMAN
And they're al l still one person, right?
DONALD
Hey, that's th e big pay-off.
KAUFMAN
(nice)
Well, it so unds exciting.
DONALD
Thanks, man. Thanks.
Caroline kisses D onald on the cheek. *
CAROLINE *
Told you he 'd like it. *
OMITTED144-147 144-147 *
INT. EMPTY BEDROO M - NIGHT 148 148
Kaufman has a bun ch of 1960's refer ence books on the floor in *
front of him. He is looking at one entitled Pop Music of the
Sixties. He copies down the names of B ob Dylan and Velvet *
Underground. He reads the lyrics to Just Like a Woman *
andseems pleased. The notebook page already in cludes: Tampax *
Box, NOW button, I Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up To Me *
by Richard Far ina, peasant blous e, Bergman's Persona . *
Kaufman seems quite please d with his researc h. He picks up
The Orchid Thief to reward himself w ith a glance at the
Orlean photogr aph. But he op ens the book to the wrong page
and sees an Ab out the Author paragraph. T he last line jumps
off the page: "She now lives in New Yo rk City with her
husband."
EXT. L.A. STRE ET - NIGHT 149 149
Kaufman wanders t he street, dist raught. A c ouple of passing
women snicker. At him?
INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - NIGHT 150 150
Kaufman types wit h new resolve.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
Susan watches her husband across the *
dinner table. She thinks, who is this *
man? She thin ks, why am I here? She *
thinks, how did this happen? * pg. 72
CONTINUED:143 143
DONALD (cont'd)INT. EMPTY LIVING ROOM - DAY 151 151
Kaufman and Orlea n move furnitur e into the room. It now
looks warm and inviting. Orlean wears a ban dana kerchief.
KAUFMAN
I'm so thrilled I get to adapt your book,
get to merge our tho ughts. I love that. *
It's intimate, li ke a marriage.
ORLEAN
Not like a marriage.
KAUFMAN
Maybe what marria ge could be? *
Her eyes tear up. She kisses him on the cheek, exactly as *
Caroline ki ssed Donald. *
ORLEAN
Isn't it ironi c? You adaptin g my book?
My three years in Florida med itating on
my inability to experience passion
resulted in my finding it with you.
They kiss and fall o nto the new couch.
INT. EMPTY BEDROO M - MORNING 152 152
Kaufman masturbat es alone in bed.
INT. KITCHEN - DAY153 153
Kaufman paces with h is mini-recorder. Off-screen laughing
and chattering from Donald and Caroline. *
KAUFMAN
We see the little girl writ ing in her *
journal. H er drunken moth er enters, sits *
on young Susan 's bed and crie s. We see *
the loneliness of her childhood, her *
mother's disappoi ntment at li fe, and how *
it forever scars the little girl. *
Kaufman is immensely pleased. He s miles at Orlean's photo.
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
This is good. I' m finding you.
The phone rings.
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
Yallo? pg. 73
(CONTINUED)VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)
Hi, Charlie. It's V alerie. Jus t bugging
you again. How's everything going?
KAUFMAN
Good. I think really good now.
VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)
Great. So I spoke to Susan yesterday.
KAUFMAN
(beat)
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)
I told her you we re making terrific
progress and she's r eally excited to read
the script.
Sweat appears on Kaufman's brow.
KAUFMAN
Good. *
VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)
And she said she'd love to meet you.
All color drains from Kauf man's face.
KAUFMAN
Um, well, y'kn ow, for me i t's distracting
to... or co nfusing to d iscuss what I'm
exploring in the screenplay at this
point... before I finish... So... *
VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)
That's fair. I'l l let her know.
KAUFMAN
Tell Susan I'd be very happy to meet her
at a future date. As she sees fit.
VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)
Okay. G ood enough.
KAUFMAN
And tell her how much I love her book.
Say I think she's a great writer. Tell
her I said tha t. Okay? * pg. 74
CONTINUED:153 153
(CONTINUED)VALERIE (cont'd)
Will do. Just ke ep us posted, Charlie.
Because we're very ex cited and anxious *
and all those good things. *
KAUFMAN
Okay. Nice talking to you. *
Kaufman hangs up and looks at the phot o of Orlean. It's
still smiling, but n ot at him. It's not glowing. Ma ybe it's
even smirking. Kaufman paces frantically, holding his
stomach. Donald' s off-screen typin g grows louder.
INT. EMPTY LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 154 154
Donald types at h is desk on his comput er. Caro line, on the *
floor, sips co ffee and skims a magazine. Kaufm an storms in. *
KAUFMAN
You can sit here and pretend to be a
writer, mocking the seriousne ss of what I
do, like so me kind of f ucking funhouse
mirror version of me! But let me tell
you, you don't know what w riting is!
Kaufman grabs his st omach, do ubles over.
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY 155 155
Kaufman is on a gurn ey and hooked up to an IV. He watches a
slightly hagga rd woman with a bandaged head sitting in a
small room across the hall. She glances over in his
direction. He sm iles. She look s through him.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
She thinks I'm repulsive. She thinks, *
why aren't there any cute guys in *
emergency rooms. She thinks -- *
An attendant e nters the room acr oss the hall and wheels the *
woman out. It is obvious she's onl y semi-conscious. *
KAUFMAN (V.O.) (CONT'D) *
I'm an idiot. I' m completely self- *
involved. Of course it's imp ossible for *
me to write about anyone else's -- *
Kaufman's eyes light up. *
INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - DAY 156 156
Kaufman paces with his mini-cassette. pg. 75
CONTINUED: (2)153 153
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN (V.O.)
Movie opens. Charlie Kaufman , fat, old,
bald, paces. His voice-over carpets the *
scene. "I am old. I am fat." *
OMITTED157-160 157-160 *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT161 161
Orlean is on the pho ne. She is shaky and d runk and still *
dolled-up from her intervi ew with Vinson. *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE)
Yeah?
ORLEAN
It's Susan again. *
LAROCHE (PHONE VOICE)
I know. *
ORLEAN *
Um, how's it going? *
INT. LITTLE BO Y'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS 161A 161A *
The room is now f illed with compute r equipment. Posters of *
naked women ad orn the walls. *
LAROCHE *
Great! I'm training myself on the *
Internet. It' s fascinating. I'm doing *
pornography. It' s amazing ho w much these *
suckers will pay for photographs of *
chicks. And it does n't matter if they're *
fat or ugly or what. *
ORLEAN ( PHONE VOICE) *
That sounds good. *
LAROCHE *
It's great is what it is. *
ORLEAN ( PHONE VOICE) *
So, look, I ha te feeling like I'm being a *
pain to you, but I s till haven't seen a *
ghost. And I was hoping, maybe you'd -- *
LAROCHE *
Yeah, yeah. I'll take you in . Tomorrow. *
ORLEAN *
Really? Thank you so much ! Oh, John! * pg. 76
CONTINUED:156 156INT. EMPTY BED ROOM - NIGHT 162 162
Kaufman types. The cassette player plays. *
KAUFMAN (ON RECORDER)
Kaufman, re pugnant, ridicu lous, jerks off
to the book jacket p hoto of Susan Orlean.
Donald appears in the doorway with a script.
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
What?! What do you want?
DONALD
I finished my script . I'm done.
Kaufman stares at his typewriter, d oesn't say anything.
DONALD (cont'd)
So would you show it to your agent?
(proudly)
It's called The Three .
Kaufman grabs Donald's scr ipt and throws it on his bed. The
Three is printed on th e cover in some dramatic bo ld typeface.
DONALD (cont'd)
Thanks. Also, I wanted to th ank you for
your idea. It was very helpful. I
changed it a litt le. Now the killer cuts
off body pieces a nd makes the victims eat
them. It's, like, Caroline has this *
great tattoo of a snake swall owing it's *
tail and -- *
Kaufman puts his hea d in his hands.
KAUFMAN
Ourobouros.
DONALD
I don't know w hat that means.
KAUFMAN
The snake is called Ourobouros.
DONALD
I don't think so. B ut, anyway, it's cool
for my killer to have this modus
operandi. Because at the end when he
forces the woman, who's really him, to
eat herself, he's also eating himself to
death. pg. 77
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
I'm insane. I'm Ourobouros.
DONALD
I don't know what that word means.
KAUFMAN
I've written m yself into my screenplay.
It's eating it self. I'm e ating myself.
DONALD
Oh. That's ki nda weird, huh?
KAUFMAN
It's self-indulge nt. It's narcissistic.
It's solipsistic. It's pa thetic. I'm
pathetic. I'm fat and pathetic.
DONALD
I'm sure you had good reasons, Charles. *
You're an artist.
KAUFMAN
The reason is I'm too timid to speak to
the woman w ho wrote the bo ok. Because
I'm pathetic. Because I have no idea how
to write. Because I can't make flowers
fascinating. Because I suck.
DONALD
Hey, am I in the script?
KAUFMAN
I'm going to New York. I'll meet her.
That's it. Th at's what I have to do.
DONALD
Don't get m ad at me for sa ying this,
Charles, but Bob's g ot a seminar in New
York this weekend at the Hy att Regency. *
So if you're stuck --
Kaufman shoots Do nald a look. *
OMITTED163 163 *
INT. CAR - A BIT LATER 164 164
The sun has co me up strong. It looks hot. Laroch e speeds
along with one finger on the wheel, paying little attention
to the road. The car veers onto the shoulde r, he lazily
corrects it. Orl ean is tense. pg. 78
CONTINUED:162 162
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
I remember one time when I was fifteen, *
my mother and I came to th e Fakahatchee
to look for a ghost. We walked for *
hours, through the m ost intense heat I'd
ever felt. We coul dn't find one. I
wanted to turn back. But my mom said, *
John, if you keep searching f or something
past doubt, pa st hopelessness, past the
absolute certaint y that you'l l never find
it, there it'll be. So we w alked. I had *
goddamn bloody bl isters on my feet. And
we found ou rselves in t his charred
prairie, desol ate, sun bla sted, y'know.
And there in the mid dle of it was this
one gorg eous, snowy Polyrrhiza lindenii .
They drive in silence f or a little while. She watches him.
EXT. MIDTOWN N EW YORK CITY STREET - DAY 164A 164A
Kaufman, sweaty and anxious, walks along. *
ORLEAN (V.O.) *
He made it sou nd like a Bible story, the
hopeful journey through da rkness into
light. I never t hought many people in
the world were like John, but I was
realizing more and m ore that Laroche was
an extreme, not an aberration -- most for
something excepti onal, something to
pursue, even at thei r peril, rat her than
abide an or dinary life.
Kaufman arrives at t he New Yorker buildi ng and enters with *
steely dete rmination.
OMITTED165-167 165-167 *
EXT. SWAMP - MORNING168 168 *
Laroche and Orlea n step off t he levee into blac k water. They
sink to their knees. The ground is so ft; it's a struggle to *
pull their feet up to walk. Things sl ither past in the
water. Something big runs by in th e distance. Bees, and *
dragonflies ho ver. Gnats and mo squitoes bite. Birds
screech. Frogs c roak. Laroche points to a yellow flower.
LAROCHE
Here we go. Encyclia tempensis .
Laroche lights a cigarette. pg. 79
CONTINUED:164 164
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE (cont'd)
Nice little su cker, isn't it?
Orlean examines it. Laroche con tinues and Orl ean attempts to *
keep pace. He points at a tiny orc hid on an other tree.
LAROCHE (CONT'D)
Clamshell orchid. You know that. *
ORLEAN
Uh-huh.
LAROCHE
See, I found y ou two already. I'll show
you every o rchid you want today. I'll
find you a fuckin g ghost if it kills me.
(pointing to a nother orchid)
Rigid Epidendrum . That's an ugly-ass
orchid. But I'm no snob. I'm interested
in all orchids. Not just pre tty ones.
Orlean laughs appreciatively. *
OMITTED169 169 *
INT. ELEVATOR - DAY170 170 *
Kaufman rides up in the crowded elevator. It stops a few
times; people get off and on. Kaufman sweat s. The doors
open. The New Yo rker logo is paint ed on the wa ll opposite
the elevator. No body gets off or on. The door s close. The
elevator conti nues up. Ka ufman hates himsel f. Soon the
elevator is em ptied out with the exception of Kaufman. It
begins its descen t and stops once again at t he New Yorker.
This time Orlean gets on. Kaufman is p anicked. Or lean looks *
at him blankly , presses "lobb y", and faces front. Kaufman
sweats, studies t he back of her head. The elevato r arrives
at the lobby. Orlean gets out. Kaufman hesitates. *
EXT. NEW YORK CIT Y STREET - DAY 171 171
Orlean walks along. Kaufm an follows her.
EXT. SWAMP - L ATE MORNING 172 172
The sun is much higher in the sk y. Orlean is a sweaty mess,
frizzed hair, anxiou s, scraped, dirty.
LAROCHE
(peppy)
They're right nearby. Just follow me. pg. 80
CONTINUED:168 168INT. RESTAURANT - DAY173 173
Orlean sits by herself, reading Vanity Fair. Kaufman sits a
few tables away. He scribbles in his notebook.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
Reads Vanity Fair. Funny detail: New
Yorker writer reads Vanity Fa ir. Use !
A waitress brings a tuna sandwic h and an iced tea to Orlean.
KAUFMAN (V.O.) (cont'd)
Likes tuna, drinks iced tea. Good
character details . Good stuff!
Orlean looks up from her magazine and smiles at the waitress.
ORLEAN
Thanks. Could I get some lemon please?
The waitress nods and leaves. Kaufman scribbles.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
Likes lemon in tea a nd her voice is not
at all what I ima gined. I nteresting!
EXT. SWAMP - NOON174 174
Orlean follows Laroche. She watches him start off in one
direction, stop, the n go in anot her direction. *
ORLEAN
Can I ask you a personal question? *
Laroche turns and scowls at her.
LAROCHE
We're not lost.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT175 175
Kaufman types fro m his notes. *
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
Orlean turns from t he prosecutor to the *
waitress and says: Could I get some *
lemon, please? *
Kaufman reads what he has written. He's frustrated, *
hysterical. He pace s, yanks the sh eets from th e bed, tries *
to tear them, swi ngs them wildly , knocking o ver a bedside *
lamp and shatt ering the bulb. * pg. 81
(CONTINUED)He stops, heav es, bends to pick up the broke n glass. The *
phone rings. He answers it, still holding the glass. *
KAUFMAN (CONT'D) *
Hello? *
MARTY (TELE PHONE VOICE) *
Hey, it's Marty. How's it go ing? Has it *
been helpful to talk to the writer? *
What's her name? *
KAUFMAN *
Susan Orlean. It's been okay. *
MARTY (TELE PHONE VOICE) *
Well, I mean, are you maki ng headway? *
Valerie's b reathing down my neck. *
KAUFMAN *
(hollow) *
You can't rush inspiration. *
MARTY (TELE PHONE VOICE) *
Okay, fair enough . Um, the other reason *
I'm calling is to tell you Th e Three is *
just amazing. *
KAUFMAN *
I don't know w hat that is. *
MARTY (TELE PHONE VOICE) *
Donald's scrip t! A smart, edgy thriller. *
Best script I've read this year. *
KAUFMAN *
Oh. Good. *
MARTY (TELE PHONE VOICE) *
I'll sell it for a s hitload. Tw o fucking *
talented guys in one family. Y'know, *
maybe you coul d bring your brother on to *
help you finish t he orchid thing. *
KAUFMAN *
Marty, don't say that. I mean -- *
MARTY (TELE PHONE VOICE) *
Just a thought, b uddy. He's really *
goddamn amazing at structure. *
KAUFMAN *
I gotta go. I have an appointment. * pg. 82
CONTINUED:175 175
(CONTINUED)MARTY (TELE PHONE VOICE) *
Adios, amigo. Finish! Finish! *
EXT. SWAMP - LATER176 176
The sun is high. Or lean and Laroch e sit on dry ground. She
stares at him. He won't l ook at her, but busies himself
opening the ba ckpack and p ulling out f ood. Finally:
LAROCHE
I'm just turned around a little.
He looks up at her, sees her sta ring at him. He pokes around
on the ground for something, comes up with a straight twig.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
A sundial. I' ll just set thi s up, wait a
few minutes, and we'll be abl e to tell
which way the sun is moving. We want to
be heading southeast.
Laroche sticks th e twig into the gr ound, stares at it.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
You should eat something.
Orlean takes a cracker. This relaxes Lar oche. He stretches
his legs, knoc ks over the twig. Without lookin g at Orlean,
he puts the twig back.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
So do you c ollect anything?
ORLEAN
(non-responsive)
Not really.
LAROCHE
Well, y'know it's not really about
collecting the thing, it's about --
ORLEAN
The sundial isn't working.
Laroche looks down at it.
LAROCHE
It is so.
Orlean stares at the twig in the groun d. She looks at
Laroche. Laroche smiles sheepis hly at Orlea n. Rage and
panic sweep ac ross her face, her fists clench into balls. pg. 83
CONTINUED: (2)175 175
(CONTINUED)Her eyes become w ild, some da rk fantasy play s out in her
brain. Laroche seems unaware. *
ORLEAN *
(panicky) *
Look, look, I need to -- *
LAROCHE *
The thing abou t computers. The thing I
like is that I'm imm ersed in it but it's
not a living thing that's going to leave
or die or something. *
Orlean looks sadl y at Laroche. *
LAROCHE (CONT'D) *
Okay, fuck the sundial. W e'll just go
straight and e ventually we'll get there.
They rise.
LAROCHE (cont'd)
What I mean is we'll get s omewhere. Out
of here. I mean, logically, we have to
get out as long as we walk straight.
Laroche points th em in a direction and they walk. *
OMITTED177 177 *
EXT. NYC STREETS ( MONTAGE) - MORNING 178 178 *
Kaufman wanders. He eyes other sad -looking, balding,
overweight men wandering the streets also.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
I am fat. I am repulsi ve. I am old. I *
can't write. I am just one more old, *
fat, bald man on the street.
EXT. SWAMP - DAY179 179
Laroche leads the way. There's a sadness, a sense of defeat
and humiliation that he tries to conceal. Orlean is stony.
LAROCHE
I've done this a million t imes. Whenever
everything's k illing me, I just say to
myself, screw it, and go s traight ahead.
Laroche leads Orlean back into the brush. pg. 84
CONTINUED:176 176EXT. NYC STREE T - MORNING 180 180
Kaufman sees a glass building ahead , glowing in the sun. He *
walks toward it. *
INT. LOBBY - MORNING181 181
The lobby of an a uditorium, crow ded with enthus iastic people
signing up for somet hing. Kaufman wai ts in line. He
watches the hands ome guy ahead of h im flirt with a female *
registrar. The guy moves on and the registrar loo ks without *
interest at Kaufman.
REGISTRAR
Yes?
Kaufman averts hi s eyes from her cool gaze; they come to rest
on a pile of M cKee's book Story next to her.
INT. AUDITORIUM - A BIT LATER 182 182
Kaufman sits in the packed room. McKee pace s the stage with
a mic clipped to his lapel.
MCKEE
Years from now you'll be s tanding around
a posh cocktail p arty congratulating
yourself on how you spent an entire
weekend locked in a room wi th an asshole *
from Hollywood fo r your art. *
The audience l aughs, except for Kaufman w ho looks pained.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
I am pathetic. I am a loser. I am fat.
MCKEE
So... what is the substance of writing?
Nothing as trivial as words is at the
heart of thi s great art. *
McKee continues to talk but his voice goes under.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
I have failed. I am panicked . I am fat.
I have sold out. I am wor thless. I...
MCKEE
Literary talent is not enough. First,
last, and always the imperative is too
tell a story.
Kaufman watches w ith disdain as peo ple take notes. pg. 85
(CONTINUED)MCKEE
Twenty-three h undred years ago, Aristotle
said, when sto rytelling goes bad in a
society, the r esult is decadence.
(deadpan)
Well, just loo k around you.
Everyone except C harlie laughs at McKee's joke.
MCKEE (cont'd)
Your goal must be a good story well told . *
Craft is the sum total of all means used *
to draw the au dience into deep *
involvement, a nd ultimately to reward it *
with a moving and meaningful experience. *
INT. AUDITORIU M - LATER 183 183
McKee scribbles a di agram onto a tr ansparency in an overhead
projector. It's some kind of complicated time- line with act-
breaks and cor responding page nu mbers indicated. The
audience membe rs take copious notes. Kau fman sweats.
KAUFMAN (V.O.)
It is my we akness, my ulti mate lack of
conviction tha t brings me here. Easy *
answers. Rules to short-cut yourself to
success. And here I am, beca use my jaunt
into the abyss brought me not hing. Well,
isn't that the ri sk one takes for
attempting someth ing new. I should leave
here right now. I'l l start over --
(starts to rise)
I need to face this project h ead on and --
MCKEE
... and God help you if you use voice-
over in your work , my friends.
Kaufman looks up, st artled. McKee seems to watching him. *
MCKEE (CONT'D)
God help you! It's flaccid, sloppy *
writing. A ny idiot can wr ite voice-over *
narration to explain the thoughts of a *
character. Yo u must prese nt the internal *
conflicts of your character in action. *
Kaufman looks around at people scribbl ing in notebooks.
"Flaccid..." writ es the guy on one sid e of him. "Any
idiot..." writes the guy on the other side. pg. 86
CONTINUED:182 182
(CONTINUED)MCKEE (cont'd)
Okay, one hour for lunch.
EXT. NYC STREET - A FEW MINUTES LATER 184 184
Students exit ont o the street in groups. Ka ufman wanders by
himself. His face is troubled. Th ere is no sound.
OMITTED185 185 *
INT. AUDITORIU M - LATER 186 186
It's late. The audience is t ired, but still attentive. Now
Kaufman takes serious notes. McKee, e nergetic as ever, wears
his sweater ti ed around his s houlders. We stay firmly
planted on his face as he talks and talks.
MCKEE
Long speechs are ant ithetical to the
nature of cinema. The Greeks called it
stykomythia -- the rapid exchange of
ideas. A long speech in a script, say a
page long, requires tha t the camera hold
on the actor's face for a minute. Look
at the second hand on your watch as it
makes one c omplete rotatio n around the
clock face and you'll get an idea of how
intolerable that would be for an
audience. The ontology of the screen is
that it's alwa ys now and i t's always
action and it's always vivid. And that's *
an important poin t. We are not
recreating life on the screen . Writers
are not tape r ecorders. H ave you ever
eavesdropped on p eople talking in a
coffee shop? Then y ou know how dull and
tedious real conversation is. Real
people are not interesting. There's not
a person in this world -- and I include
myself in this -- who would be
interesting enough to t ake as is and put
in a movie as a character.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - LATER STILL 187 187
McKee faces the audience, holding a cup of coffee.
MCKEE
The other day som eone asked me if *
Michelle Pfeiffer were beautiful. * pg. 87
CONTINUED:183 183
(CONTINUED)He pauses theatri cally, sips his co ffee, then, deadpan: *
MCKEE (cont'd)
Michelle Pfeiffer is proof for the *
existence of God. *
The overtired audience breaks into uproariou s laughter.
Kaufman, with dar k circles under his e yes, giggles a little.
MCKEE (cont'd)
Okay. That's it for tonight. Remember,
there'll be a Q a nd A tomorro w morning
before clas s starts.
INT. HOTEL - NIGHT188 188
In bed, Kaufman struggles with A ristotle's Poetics . There's
a photograph of a bust of Aristotle on the book's cover.
DISSOLVE TO:
OMITTED189 189 *
INT. KAUFMAN'S DINING ROOM - DAY 189A 189A *
Darwin and Aristo tle and Kaufman have tea. It's silent and *
tense. Aristotle rises to st retch. He w alks around the *
table. Out of nowhere, he smash es Darwin in the back of the *
head. Darwin fli es face forward in to the card table, *
collapsing it. He turns, grabs Aristo tle's foot and pulls *
him down. A violent fight ensues. Kaufman can't get out of *
the way, can't seem to move as the two men b rutally bludgeon *
each other, sm ash against walls lea ving bloo dy prints. *
INT. AUDITORIU M - MORNING 190 190
Kaufman, blear y-eyed, sits in th e back. McKee paces.
MCKEE
Anyone else?
Kaufman timidly r aises his hand.
MCKEE (cont'd)
Yes?
KAUFMAN
What if a writer is attempting to create *
a story where nothing m uch happens, where
people don't change, they don't have any
epiphanies. They struggle and are
frustrated and nothing is resolv ed. More
a reflection of th e real world -- * pg. 88
CONTINUED:187 187
(CONTINUED)MCKEE
The real world ? The real fucking world?
First of al l, if you write a screenplay
without conflict or cri sis, you'll bore
your audience to tea rs. Secondly:
Nothing happens in t he world? Are you
out of your fucki ng mind? People are
murdered every day! There 's genocide and
war and corrup tion! Every fucking day
somewhere in t he world somebody
sacrifices his life to save s omeone else!
Every fucking day someone som ewhere makes
a conscious de cision to de stroy someone
else! People find love! People lose it,
for Christ's sake! A child watches her
mother beaten to death on the steps of a
church! Someo ne goes hungry! Somebody
else betrays h is best friend for a woman!
If you can't find that stuff in life,
then you, my friend, don't know much
about life! And why the f uck are you
taking up my preciou s two hours with your
movie? I don' t have any u se for it! I
don't have any bl oody use for it!
KAUFMAN
Okay, thanks.
EXT. NYC ST REET - NIGHT 191 191
The last of the students are filing out. Kaufman waits,
leaning against t he building. M cKee emerges, carrying his
brown leather bag . A shaky, tired Kau fman approac hes him.
KAUFMAN
Mr. McKee?
MCKEE
Yes?
KAUFMAN
I'm the guy you y elled at this morning.
MCKEE
(trying to recall)
I need more.
KAUFMAN
I was the o ne who thought things didn't
happen in life.
MCKEE
Oh, right, okay. Nice to see you. pg. 89
CONTINUED:190 190
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
I need to talk.
MCKEE
I'm sorry. I can't talk to writers about *
material I hav en't read. *
KAUFMAN
Mr. McKee, my eve n standing h ere is very *
scary. I don' t meet people well. But *
what you said this m orning shook me to
the bone. Wha t you said w as bigger than
my screenwriti ng choices. It's about my
choices as a human being. Please.
McKee hesitates for a moment, then reaches o ut and puts his
arm arou nd Kaufman.
MCKEE
I could use a dri nk, my friend.
EXT. SWAMP - DAY192 192
Laroche and Or lean slog th rough the water with purpose,
looking only stra ight ahead. As they walk t he sounds and
colors become subdued. Soon there is silence.
ORLEAN (V.O.)
We turned to the rig ht and saw only more
cypress and pa lm and sawgrass
They turn left an d see metal flashing in the sunlight.
ORLEAN (V.O .) (cont'd)
So we turned to t he left, and there, far
down the diago nal of the levee, we could
see the gleam of a fender.
Orlean and Lar oche walk to ward the car.
ORLEAN (V.O .) (cont'd)
We followed it like a beacon...
INT. BAR - NIGHT193 193
Kaufman and McKee sit at a table with beers. K aufman reads
from his copy of The Orchid Thief .
KAUFMAN
... all the wa y to the road.
Kaufman closes th e book. The re's a pause. pg. 90
CONTINUED:191 191
(CONTINUED)MCKEE
Then what happens?
KAUFMAN
That's the end of the book. I wanted to
present it simply , without bi g character
arcs or sensationalizin g the story. I
wanted to show fl owers as God's miracles.
I wanted to show that Orlean never saw
the blooming ghost o rchid. It's about
disappointment.
MCKEE
(disappointed)
I see.
(beat)
That's not a m ovie. Maybe you've got two *
acts. *
KAUFMAN
(pause)
I've got pages of false st arts and wrong
approaches. I 'm way past my deadline. I
can't go back.
McKee sips his be er, eyes Kaufman.
MCKEE (cont'd)
Tell you a secret. The last act makes
the film. You can have an uninvolving,
tedious movie, but wow them at the end,
and you've got a hit. Find an ending.
But don't chea t! Don't yo u dare bring in *
a deus ex machina . Your cha racters must *
change and the change must must come from *
them. Do that and you'll be fine. *
Tears form in Kaufman's eyes.
KAUFMAN
You promise?
McKee smiles. Ka ufman hugs him. McKee recogni zes his bulk.
MCKEE
You've taken my course before?
KAUFMAN
My brother did. My twin brother Donald.
He's the one who got me to come. pg. 91
CONTINUED:193 193
(CONTINUED)MCKEE
Twin screenwriters. Julius and Philip
Epstein,who wr ote Casablanca were twins.
KAUFMAN
You mentioned tha t in class.
MCKEE
One of the finest screenplays ever *
written.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT194 194
Kaufman paces, t ries to read Story . McKee's Ten Commandments *
is taped to the w all. As is a photo of Michelle Pfeiffer
ripped from a magazine.
INT. MCKEE'S O FFICE - NIGHT 195 195
McKee, like Darwin b efore him, sits at his desk and writes.
MCKEE (V.O.)
Climax. A revolutio n in values from
positive to negative or negative to
positive witho ut irony -- a v alue swing
at maximum cha rge that's a bsolute and
irreversible.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT196 196
Kaufman is lost in McKee's text. He r ubs his t emples. He
dials the phone.
DONALD ( PHONE VOICE)
Great write rs residence.
Caroline gi ggles in the background. *
KAUFMAN
Donald.
DONALD ( PHONE VOICE)
Hey, how's the tr ip? Gettin' it on with
that lady jour nalist? You dog you!
KAUFMAN
Yeah. Listen, I' m calling to say
congratulations on your script.
INT. EMPTY LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 196A 196A *
Donald sits on the floor with Caroline and Catherine Keener. *
They drink wine a nd are in the midd le of a boar d game. * pg. 92
CONTINUED: (2)193 193
(CONTINUED)DONALD *
Isn't that coo l? Marty says he can make *
me, like, h igh-sixes again st a mill-five.
KAUFMAN (P HONE VOICE) *
That's grea t, Donald.
DONALD *
I want to thank you for all your help.
KAUFMAN (PHO NE VOICE) *
I wasn't an y help.
DONALD *
C'mon, you let me stay in you r place and
your integrity inspired me to even try.
It's been a wild ride. Keener says she *
really wants to play Cassie! *
KEENER *
(jokingly, tipsy) *
Oh, please, pleas e, Donald, please... *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS 196B 196B *
KAUFMAN
What? *
DONALD ( PHONE VOICE) *
She stopped by after work with Caroline. *
And she picked up the scri pt and couldn't *
put it down. *
KEENER (O.C.) (IN BACKGROUND) *
I couldn't put it down becaus e I had glue *
on my hands! *
Keener, Caroline, and Donald laugh. Kaufman is silent for a *
long moment, taki ng this all in. *
KAUFMAN *
Catherine Keen er is in my house? *
DONALD ( PHONE VOICE) *
Yeah. We're play ing Boggle. She's *
great. You should h ang out with her. *
KAUFMAN *
Yeah. Um, look, I've been thinking, *
maybe you'd be in terested in hanging out *
with me in New York for a few days. * pg. 93
CONTINUED:196A 196A
(CONTINUED)DONALD ( PHONE VOICE)
Oh my God, yes! *
KAUFMAN *
Yeah? I was going to show my script to *
some people. Maybe you could read it, *
too. Y'know, if you like. *
DONALD ( PHONE VOICE) *
Of course! I'm flattered! *
INT. HOTEL ROO M - MORNING 197 197
Donald lies on his back on th e floor intentl y reading the
script. Kaufman p aces. Donald f inishes, is quiet.
KAUFMAN
So, like, what would you do?
DONALD
Script kind of makes fun of me, huh?
KAUFMAN
Sorry. I was trying something. I --
DONALD
Hey, I don't mind . It's funny.
KAUFMAN
Okay. Good. S o, what would you do? *
DONALD
You and me are so differen t, Charles.
We're differen t talents.
KAUFMAN
I know. Just for fu n. How would the
great Donald e nd this script?
DONALD
(giggling)
Shut up. T he great Donald.
(serious)
I feel like you'r e missing something. *
KAUFMAN
(stung b ut covering)
All right. Like what?
DONALD
I don't know, man. I'm thinking, *
subtext. Y'kn ow, who is Susan Orlean? * pg. 94
CONTINUED:196B 196B
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
She's a jou rnalist writ ing a story.
DONALD
Is she? I mean, yes , of course she's
that, but, look...
(picks up Orch id Thief, reads)
"Sometimes this k ind of story turns out
to be something m ore, some glimpse of
life that e xpands like those Japanese
paper balls you dr op in water and they *
bloom into flo wers, and the flower is so
marvelous you can't believe there was a *
time all you saw in front of you was a
paper ball and a glass of water."
(looks up)
First of al l, she said she didn't care
about flowers. That's inc onsistent.
KAUFMAN
For God's sake, i t's just a metaphor.
DONALD
For what? What tu rned that paper ball *
into a flower? It's not in the book. *
KAUFMAN
I don't know. Yo u're reaching.
DONALD
Maybe, but I t hink you need to actually *
talk to this woman. To know her. *
KAUFMAN
I can't. Really.
DONALD
I'll go. Pre tend I'm you. *
Kaufman rolls his eyes. *
DONALD (CONT'D) *
I want to do it, Cha rles. Someone's got *
to talk to her. *
A long silence while Kaufman loo ks his brot her up and down. *
KAUFMAN
But you've got to be exactly me. I have *
a reputation to maintain. You can't be a *
goofball. You can't be an asshole. * pg. 95
CONTINUED:197 197
(CONTINUED)DONALD
I'm not an asshole.
KAUFMAN
You know what I mean. No flirting. No
bad jokes. Don't laugh how you laugh.
DONALD
(sort of hurt)
I'm not going to laugh. I get to have
people think I'm you. It' s an honor.
INT. ORLEAN'S OFFICE - DAY 198 198
Orlean is behind her desk. Donald, dressed as Charlie, sits *
across from her, doing his best seriou s writer impression. *
DONALD
So, I guess I'll bri ng out the big guns *
now. Do you keep in touch w ith Laroche? *
Orlean responds w ith what might be a practiced casualness.
ORLEAN
I had a brief phone conversation with him
when the book cam e out. He said, "You
know, if you write a couple more books,
you could b ecome a pretty good writer."
Donald laughs appreciatively as he scribbles on his pad.
DONALD
(flirty despite himself) *
I think you're a ver y good writer now. *
ORLEAN
Thanks.
DONALD
The reason I ask, is th at I felt I
detected an attra ction to him. In the
subtext. Care to comment?
ORLEAN
Our relationsh ip was strictl y reporter- *
subject. I mean, ce rtainly an intimacy
develops in that type of relationship.
You spend a lot of time together. By
definition, I was very interested in
everything he had to say. But the *
relationship ends when the book ends. *
Donald scribbles, mumbles unde r his breath. * pg. 96
CONTINUED: (2)197 197
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN (CONT'D) *
What?
DONALD
Nothing. Okay, j ust one more question. *
(reading from pad)
If you could have dinner with one
historical per sonage, livi ng or dead, who
would it be?
Orlean is somewhat relieved she' s dealing wi th an idiot. *
ORLEAN
I'd have to say... Einstei n or Jesus.
DONALD
Very good. In teresting answer. *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY199 199
Kaufman paces, st ares out the window, watches TV. Donald
enters, dressed as Charlie.
DONALD
She was nervous. She's lying.
KAUFMAN
What do you mean? What happened?
DONALD
Nothing. She said all the right things.
Too right.
KAUFMAN
Maybe they're too right beca use they're
true. Did you embarrass me? *
DONALD
People who answer questions t oo right are *
liars. And everybody says Jesus and
Einstein. Tha t's a prepacka ged answer. *
KAUFMAN
What do you mean "Je sus and Einstein"?
DONALD
Listen, Charles, I h ave an idea. You *
need to buy me a pai r of binoculars. *
KAUFMAN
What's Jesus and Einstein? * pg. 97
CONTINUED:198 198
(CONTINUED)Donald winks, pic ks up a pen, ho lds it like a microphone, and
sings and danc es around Kaufman, who just st ares at him.
DONALD
(singing)
Imagine me and you, I do.
(talking)
C'mon.
(singing)
I think about you day and night -- *
(talking)
C'mon, sing with me!
(singing)
It's only right to t hink about the one *
you love and h old her tight. *
KAUFMAN
What the hell do you need binocul ars for? *
INT. EMPTY SUITE OF OFFICES - NIGHT 200 200
Kaufman nervously watches the door. Donald sta res out the
window with binoculars. *
KAUFMAN *
I don't want to be caught here. I don't
want to be doing this.
DONALD
Leave. I'll just stay a litt le longer.
Kaufman can't step o ut into the hallwa y by himself.
KAUFMAN
Well, is she doin g anything at all?
DONALD
Still just staring off. Sadly.
KAUFMAN
Let's go. Let's go.
DONALD
She's dialing her phone!
INT. ORLEAN'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 201 201
We watch this in silence thro ugh the bino culars. Orlean
waits as the p hone rings. Sh e closes her of fice door. A
conversation e nsues, becoming mo re and more agitated.
DONALD (O.S.)
She's upset. pg. 98
CONTINUED:199 199
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN (O.S.)
Stop watching her. Leave her alone.
Orlean looks out her window. Sh e starts to cry. *
INT. EMPTY SUITE OF OFF ICES - CONTINUOUS 202 202
Kaufman paces behind Donald, who wa tches through binoculars.
DONALD
She's crying. She hung up the phone. *
She's at he r computer. *
KAUFMAN
This is morally reprehensible.
Through binoculars we see Orlean on her computer at an online
airline reserv ation site.
DONALD
United to Miami. Tomorrow morning. *
(turns to Kaufman) *
Hmm, I thought she was done with Laroche. *
KAUFMAN
Her parents live in Florida, Donald.
DONALD
That was no pa rent phone call , my friend.
KAUFMAN
Don't say "my friend."
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT203 203
Kaufman tries to rea d McKee's Story . Donald f lips a pencil
lazily in the air and reads The Orchid Thief .
DONALD
Have you check ed out Laroche 's porn site? *
KAUFMAN
No. I'm tryin g to read.
Donald tapes some computer keys.
DONALD
Anyway, I'm gon na look at i t. Research. *
Heh heh. Don't t ell my old lady. *
KAUFMAN *
You mean mom? * pg. 99
CONTINUED:201 201
(CONTINUED)DONALD *
No. I don' t mean mom. *
(waits for website to come up)
I still say we go to Mi ami tomorrow.
KAUFMAN
Forget it. *
DONALD
(studying website)
Some of these chicks are okay. Hey, *
guess what? We'r e going to Miami. *
KAUFMAN
I said, no.
DONALD
I said, oh yeah, ba by. C'mere. *
Kaufman sighs, goes over to the computer. On t he screen is a
naked photo of Or lean, posed but awkward. K aufman stares
incredulously at it. *
INT. RENTAL CAR - DAY204 204
Kaufman and Donal d are parked in th e loading area at the
Miami Airport, Donald behind the wheel. Orlean waits on the *
sidewalk with a suitcase. The beat-up white van pulls up. *
DONALD
Told ya.
KAUFMAN
It's so weird to see that van in real *
life.
Orlean gets in, t he van speeds off. Donald follows. *
INT. CAR - A BIT LATER 205 205
Donald drives, ke eping up with the van , which speeds and
swerves through traffic. Kaufman is sweaty, nervous.
EXT. SUBURBAN STR EET - LATER 206 206
The van pulls into the driveway of a n eat, middle-class
house. Kaufman a nd Donald drive by, in time to see Orlean
and Laroche emerge f rom the van. Orle an seems differ ent now:
more exotic. Don ald parks up the street, get s out, and *
watches as Laroche lugs Orlean's suitcase in to the house.
DONALD
I'll get a closer look. Y ou wait here. pg. 100
CONTINUED:203 203
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
(momentously)
No. I should go. I mean, it should be
me, right? I mean, it's my...
DONALD
Go for it, bro. You the man.
Kaufman gets out of the car. Donald gets in, peruses
Kaufman's script. Kaufman walks pa st the house , trying to
peer in windows. He slinks around back. His e yes widen as *
he discovers a green house filled wi th row upon row of ghost *
orchids. There's movement in a window in the house. Kaufman *
ducks.
LAROCHE (O.S.)
Darlin', I dunno wha t's come over you!
Kaufman crawls to the window, looks in. Orl ean and Laroche *
are laughing, kissing, undressin g each other . Kaufman is *
heartbroken and t ransfixed. Orlean pulls aw ay giggling, *
crawls to the coffee table, snor ts some lines of green *
powder. Laroche waits patiently. She drags herself back to *
him and continues where they lef t off. Laro che glances at *
the window, locks eyes with Kauf man. He jumps up and runs *
naked to the back door. Orlean, oblivious, contin ues to rub *
herself. Kaufman makes a mad dash around the side of the *
house. Laroche cuts him off, drags him i nto the house. *
INT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS 207 207
Laroche throws Ka ufman down into a chair. The chair slides
across the floor, tips over. La roche's new be autiful set of *
white teeth, have slipped. He adjusts them. *
ORLEAN *
Who's that, Johnny? *
KAUFMAN
I just... nobod y, I just -- *
LAROCHE
Who the fuc k are you?
KAUFMAN
Um, I'm just... Wrong house. *
Orlean stud ies Kaufman. *
ORLEAN
You know what? I t's that scr eenwriter. *
How did he fin d me, Johnny? * pg. 101
CONTINUED:206 206
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
The guy adapting o ur book? Wild! *
(to Kaufman)
Hey, dude, who's gonna play me? *
KAUFMAN
I'm not -- I d on't know that. I should --
Kaufman rises. Orlean rises. *
LAROCHE *
I thought I shoul d play me. *
ORLEAN
Did he follow me? Did you follow me? *
KAUFMAN
No, of course not . I should go.
LAROCHE
Okay. Well, it was nice to meet you. *
Let me give you my number. *
Laroche begins to write his phone number.
ORLEAN
I'm freaking, John. Why is he here?
What does he know?
KAUFMAN
I don't know anythin g about anything.
LAROCHE *
He did see the greenhouse. *
ORLEAN
Shit, don't let him leave. *
Laroche looks at Susan, then kind of stan ds in Kaufman's way. *
LAROCHE
Have a seat fo r a moment, 'kay?
Kaufman does. Orlean tries to focus.
ORLEAN
You going to put t his in yo ur screenplay? *
KAUFMAN *
I really don't know what this is. *
Orlean sees Kaufm an glance at th e drugs on t he coffee table. * pg. 102
CONTINUED:207 207
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN
He's lying! I mean, he's researching his *
script, right? *
LAROCHE
Good point. Why are you here? *
KAUFMAN *
I'm not sure. I was just -- I'm just *
down here to s ee the swamp. *
LAROCHE *
Oh. Well, I don't k now if I' m available *
to take you in . Maybe in a week or -- *
ORLEAN *
That's not why he's here! *
LAROCHE *
Why, then? *
ORLEAN
I don't know. I don't know.
KAUFMAN
I'm pretty much going to stic k with the
book. I'm almost done, anyway. I'm *
pretty clear on the structure. *
Kaufman rises.
LAROCHE
I believe him , Suze. *
ORLEAN
Hold him. *
Laroche does. Or lean massages her temples. She talks to
herself for a whi le, gestures to he rself. S he looks up.
ORLEAN (cont'd)
We have to kill him.
KAUFMAN AND LAROCHE
What?
ORLEAN
(mumbling)
I don't know.
(screaming)
I don't know! pg. 103
CONTINUED: (2)207 207
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE
Susie?
ORLEAN
What are we su pposed to do? You tell me! *
LAROCHE
(slow, deliberate)
Susie, you nee d to calm dow n. You're *
getting a little emo tional and you -- *
ORLEAN
Don't talk to me l ike I'm a mental *
patient! I hate when you do that! *
LAROCHE *
I'm not. I'm sorry. *
ORLEAN *
I can't have h im writing aobu t me. I *
can't have people -- all t hose people -- *
watching my -- *
KAUFMAN
Can I please speak?
ORLEAN
Lock him in th e closet. I have to think.
LAROCHE
Yeah, okay. *
Laroche escorts K aufman to the closet as Susan paces. *
LAROCHE (cont'd)
(quietly) *
Just for a lit tle while, C harlie. Sorry. *
KAUFMAN *
(trying to keep a friend here) *
It's okay. I unders tand. Thank you. *
Kaufman gets in. Laroche closes the door. *
INT. CLOSET - CONTINUOUS 208 208
Kaufman stands in the dark as the door is lo cked. He listens. *
LAROCHE (O.S.)
Susie, we can' t kill anyone. * pg. 104
CONTINUED: (3)207 207
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN (O.S.)
Then what? Ev eryone will fin d out. My *
mom! It'll be in a damn m ovie! I'll be *
humiliated. It will ruin our thing! Us! *
LAROCHE (O.S.) *
It will? *
ORLEAN (O.S.)
Protect me, Joh nny. Please. *
There's a long sweaty silence. *
LAROCHE (O.S.)
There are a couple guns with my dad's
stuff in th e basement.
Kaufman inhale s sharply.
INT. BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS 208A 208A *
Laroche, in cl ose-up, descends the basement sta irs. He pulls *
a cord lighting a ba re bulb. He sifts through a cardboard *
box, pulls out a stack of ancient TV guides, fi nds a battery- *
operated barte nder doll, turns it on. The b artender shakes a *
drink, his pants fall down, his face lights up red. Laroche *
turns it off. He reaches into the box and p ulls out a gun. *
INT. LAROCHE'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 208B 208B *
Orlean, in close-up, chews her f ingernail and c ries. Laroche *
can be heard ascendi ng the creaky b asement stairs. He passes *
behind her. She glances down at hi s off-screen hand. *
ORLEAN *
Do you know how to put the bullets in?
LAROCHE (O.S.)
I think you ju st stick them i n. In these *
holes here. *
Orlean nods he r head, a littl e hysterically. *
INT. LIVING ROOM WIN DOW - CONTINUOUS 209 209 *
Unnoticed, in close-up, Donald watches the goings-on. *
Laroche and Or lean, large, bl urry, pacing fo reground figures, *
occasionally pass between Donald and the camera. *
ORLEAN (O.S.) *
I thought mayb e we'd take him to the *
Fakahatchee. * pg. 105
CONTINUED:208 208
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)He could be found drowned, like he was *
doing research, like he sl ipped and hit *
his head on a rock. *
LAROCHE (O.S.) *
Okay. That sounds l ike a real thing that *
could happen. *
ORLEAN (O.S.) *
You have a car , screenwriter? *
KAUFMAN (O.S.) *
I, um, no, I --
ORLEAN (O.S.) *
Of course he does. We'll drive his car *
and leave it on t he side of the swamp. *
KAUFMAN (O.S.) *
I don't have a car! *
Donald disappears from the window.
INT. RENTAL CAR - NIGHT 210 210
Kaufman drives th rough a nice, suburban Mia mi neighborhood. *
His headlights shine on Laroche's v an ahead. Orlean sits *
next to him, hold ing a gun. She skims Kaufman' s screenplay.
KAUFMAN
Look, I don't care what you're doing. *
I'm really jus t interested in orchids. *
ORLEAN
Hey, here's me again! *
(mockingly reading from screen)
"Isn't it ironic? You adapti ng my book?
My three years in Florida med itating on
my inability to experience passion
resulted in my fi nding it with you."
Jesus, that's sort of creepy. *
KAUFMAN
I was just trying to do something. *
ORLEAN
Jerking off to my photogra ph. God, *
there's an image I c ould do without. *
KAUFMAN *
It's a story. I did n't really do it. *
They drive in silence. Orlean reads more of the screenplay. pg. 106
CONTINUED:209 209
ORLEAN (O.S.) (cont'd)
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN *
Here's a good one! *
(mocking)
"I wanted to know wh at it's like to care
about something passionately."
Orlean laug hs derisively.
KAUFMAN
You can laugh, but I didn 't make that up. *
That's a quote from your book.
ORLEAN
Yeah, I know, Charlie-boy. Chill. I'm
laughing at who I us ed to be. It's sad.
KAUFMAN
So now you lea rned about pass ion. From a
weirdo with no te eth. Bully for you.
ORLEAN
You can't lear n about passion! You can *
be passion. And it wasn't Johnny who *
made me passion. It was orchids.
KAUFMAN
You never even ca red about orchids. *
ORLEAN
I lied about w hat happened at the end of
the book. I'l l tell you the truth now. *
KAUFMAN
Look, if you don't tell me, you don't
have to kill me.
ORLEAN
(considers) *
No, I do. *
KAUFMAN *
We can turn around. Get a cup of coffee. *
Can we do that? We can talk this out. *
I'll sign anythin g. We can forget I ever *
came here. We can do what ever you want. *
ORLEAN *
Listen, this i sn't easy fo r me either. *
Kaufman stares st raight ahead at Laroche's van. *
ORLEAN (cont'd) *
So, we're on the way out of the swamp -- * pg. 107
CONTINUED:210 210EXT. SWAMP - DAY211 211
Laroche leads Orlean through the swamp. He spots something
on a tree, circles i t, stands there awestruck. Orlean comes
around to see a b eautiful ghost orc hid hanging fro m the tree.
LAROCHE
The jewel of the Fakahatchee.
Orlean tries to feel some passion for it, can't.
ORLEAN
It's a flower. I t's just a flower. *
LAROCHE *
Might as well grab it, long as I'm here. *
Laroche pulls a hack saw from his bag. *
INT. VAN - DAY211A 211A *
Laroche drives. Orlean stares o ut the window. *
LAROCHE *
Boy, my porn s ite is gonna be big. *
No reaction. They drive in silence. Then: *
LAROCHE (cont'd) *
Look, something I di dn't tell you... I *
want to tell you... About the ghost, *
okay? I know you're going th rough some *
shit. I think this might help you. *
Orlean doesn't even acknowledge he's talking. *
LAROCHE (CONT'D) *
Susan, I want you to know this. It *
wasn't my thing, I'd always wanted the *
ghost for t he reasons I to ld you, but *
some of the Indians... *
EXT. SEMINOLE NURSERY TRAILER - NIGHT 211B 211B *
Laroche heads up the steps and enters. *
LAROCHE (V.O.) *
I'd just start ed up the nurse ry. I went *
back one night to pick up something. * pg. 108INT. TRAILER BACK ROOM - NIGHT 211C 211C *
Laroche peeks in the room. A bunch of young, s toned Indian *
men. Some stare off . One sings to himself. Two of the men *
make out. One of the men is slicing up a ghost orchid and *
pulverizing it. One of the men looks up and sees Laroche. *
ORLEAN (V.O.) *
Jesus. *
INT. VAN - DAY211D 211D *
Orlean seems i nterested now. *
LAROCHE *
They wanted th e ghost just to extract *
their drug. It had been a ceremonial *
thing, but the young guys, they liked to *
get stoned. As I said, I alw ays wanted *
to clone it only to sell to collectors, *
like I told you, but -- *
ORLEAN *
Vinson. Was he one of the -- *
LAROCHE *
Sure. Vins on lived on that shit. Till *
they ran out. *
ORLEAN *
There was this day he w as fascinated by *
me. My hair. My sadness. *
LAROCHE *
It does that. That's what I wanted to *
tell you. I think y ou'd like it, Susie. *
It seems to help people be ... fascinated. *
ORLEAN *
Oh, fuck! Fuck it. Fuck Vinson! *
LAROCHE *
I can extract it for you. I kno w how. I *
watched. I 'm probably the only white guy *
who knows. I want to do t his. Y'know, *
your sadness is fasc inating to me, too. *
ORLEAN *
I'm done with orchids, Laroche. * pg. 109INT. RENTAL CAR - NIGHT 211E 211E *
Kaufman drives. He's barely lis tening. He's pasty white *
with fear. Orlean stares out the w indow as they follow *
Laroche down a strip -malled highway. *
KAUFMAN *
I can't even real ly hear you. Please, if *
you're not goi ng to let me go, let me be. *
ORLEAN *
I was so sad that n ight. So drained. *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT211F 211F *
Orlean sits bl ankly on her bed, reviews some notes, paces. *
ORLEAN (V.O.) *
I went down to the bar. Maybe I could *
get laid. I didn 't know. Something. *
INT. HOTEL BAR - NIGHT 211G 211G *
Orlean sits at the bar sippin g a glass of champagne. The *
place is empty. A female bartender chats and g iggles on the *
phone. Orlean tears her cocktail n apkin into t iny pieces. *
INT. HOTEL HAL LWAY - NIGHT 211H 211H *
Orlean, a little tip sy, emerges from t he elevator and heads *
with some uncerta inty down the gene ric hall, trying to *
remember her room number. There's a s mall package outside *
one door. Her name is written on it. This mus t be her room. *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT211I 211I *
Orlean sits on her b ed, talks on the p hone, and stares at a *
little plastic ba ggie with green powder in it. *
ORLEAN *
(bored) *
That sounds go od, hon. So you think *
you'll speak to him about it tomorrow? *
No, you should , you should. He needs to *
hear how you feel. All right then. *
Yeah, Friday. Ok ay. You too. *
Orlean hangs u p, picks up the baggie, sniffs inside, puts it *
down, picks it up, pours some onto the glass-to pped desk. She *
pulls a dollar bill from her pur se, rolls it up, hovers over *
the green powder, stares at it. * pg. 110
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN (V.O .) (CONT'D) *
I figured, what the fuck. I figured, *
what the hell. I figured, wh o really *
cares about an ything anymore. *
She snorts a s mall amount, st ands, tries to determ ine if it's *
going to kill her . She feels no thing. She sno rts the rest, *
stands again, tri es to feel some thing, doesn't. She sighs. *
INT. HOTEL BATHROOM - A FEW MOMENTS LATER 211J 211J *
Orlean brushes her teeth, dul ly watches hers elf in the *
mirror. Suddenly she becomes fixated on the white suds in *
her mouth, on the wonderful s ensation of bri stles against *
gum, on the scrub bing sound. A smile lights he r face and *
toothpaste dribbles down her chin. She watches her grinning *
face with love. She bends in to th e mirror for a better *
look. She gig gles. She alte rs the rhythm of her brushing. *
She makes various shapes with her mouth to change the tone. *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - A LITTLE LATER 211K 211K *
Orlean lies on th e floor studying t he carpet weave: the *
texture, the c olors. She's never seen anything more *
beautiful. She tugs at a str and, rolls it around in her *
fingers, sniff s it, sucks it. *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - A LITTLE LATER 211L 211L *
The lights are off. Orlean l eans her forehe ad against the *
window and stares with awe out the window at the star-filled *
sky. How exqu isite! She cri es, but not like any other *
crying she's done: n ow it's at the beauty of the universe. *
She tries to open the window for a better look, discovers it *
does not open. H er frustration qui ckly turns to fascination *
with the glass. She notices the oily imprint h er forehead *
left on it. She mak es many forehead p rints on the glass. *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - A LITTLE LATER 211M 211M *
Orlean lies sp rawled on her back on the bed, holding the *
phone to her ear, listening to the dial tone. It's so *
beautiful. She t ries to sing along wi th it. Suddenly she *
hangs up an d dials "0." *
ORLEAN *
Hello? Is thi s the operator? *
OPERATOR *
Maybe I help y ou, Ms. Orlean? *
ORLEAN *
How do you kno w my name? * pg. 111
CONTINUED:211I 211I
(CONTINUED)OPERATOR *
This is the hotel operator, ma'am. *
ORLEAN *
I'm so embarra ssed! Can y ou tell me, how *
I get a hold of the operator operator? *
OPERATOR *
Dial nine and then zero. *
ORLEAN *
Okay. Than k you so much! *
OPERATOR *
Good night, ma'am. *
ORLEAN *
Good night, ma'am, to you, too! *
(hangs up) *
She was so nice. *
Orlean dial s again. *
SECOND OPERATOR *
Operator. *
ORLEAN *
Hi! I was just w ondering if you could *
help me. I am tr ying to determine the *
notes in yo ur dial tone. *
SECOND OPERATOR *
The notes in my...? *
ORLEAN *
In your dial tone. It's so pretty. *
SECOND OPERATOR *
I don't have any idea. *
ORLEAN *
Well, would it be possible to speak with *
your supervisor? *
SECOND OPERATOR *
You'd have to call during business hours, *
eight to fi ve-thirty. But I don't think *
anyone here is go ing to know that. *
ORLEAN *
You have been very helpful! Say, would *
you like to come over? Af ter your shift? * pg. 112
CONTINUED:211M 211M
(CONTINUED)SECOND OPERATOR *
I can't really do that. *
ORLEAN *
Okay! You have a wonderful night! *
Orlean hangs up, stares at the ceiling. She imitates a dial *
tone. The pho ne rings. She listens to it, forgets to pick *
up the phone. Fi nally she remembers. *
ORLEAN *
Hello? *
LAROCHE *
Hi. It's John. Did you get my package? *
ORLEAN *
John! John! John J ohn John! Hey, John, *
do you know what notes are in a dial *
tone? *
LAROCHE *
I could figure it out. I have perfect *
pitch. *
ORLEAN *
Oh, that would be so helpful. *
LAROCHE *
I'll get right on it. *
ORLEAN *
Don't go yet! *
LAROCHE *
Okay. *
There's a pause. Orlean fingers th e phone cord. *
ORLEAN *
John, I'm very happy now. *
LAROCHE *
I'm glad. *
There's a pause. She studies her feet. *
ORLEAN *
Johnny, did you ever wish you could use *
your toes just like fingers? *
LAROCHE *
Sure, all the time. * pg. 113
CONTINUED: (2)211M 211M
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN *
Really?! Me too! *
(beat) *
I love my toes! I never let them do *
anything fun! I wish they could do *
activities. *
(starts to cry) *
I want my toes to be happy. *
LAROCHE *
They will be. *
ORLEAN *
They're my friends a nd I ignore them! *
That's not rig ht! I will walk on the *
beach tomorrow . Then I wi ll buy a pair *
of beautiful ocean blue socks! A *
souvenir of the day for my toes. *
LAROCHE *
Okay. *
ORLEAN *
You're so nice. Do you like soc ks, too? *
LAROCHE *
Yes, I do. *
ORLEAN *
I like socks. Wh o invented socks? *
LAROCHE *
I have a book. My guess is they were *
probably intro duced in severa l cultures *
simultaneously. *
ORLEAN *
Huh. Isn't it amazing to think that *
socks were invented at all , let alone *
several times simultaneously! *
LAROCHE *
I'll find out exactl y who and when. *
ORLEAN *
Did you ever see those ones with separate *
toes? I feel they are very w rong. I *
think toes sho uld be with their fellows. *
(pause) *
Do you slee p in yours? *
LAROCHE *
Socks? No. * pg. 114
CONTINUED: (3)211M 211M
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN *
(excited) *
Me neither! Me neither! *
Orlean grins. *
OMITTED212 212 *
INT. RENTAL CAR - NIGHT 212A 212A *
ORLEAN *
Oh, Johnny. *
Kaufman stares st raight ahead. *
KAUFMAN *
I don't want to die. Please think about *
what you're do ing. I'm a person, just *
like you. *
ORLEAN *
We spoke all night. *
INT. HOTEL ROOM - MUCH LATER 212B 212B *
Orlean is on the flo or, on the p hone, but not talking. She *
stares out the window at the early morning l ight. Finally: *
ORLEAN *
(whisper) *
Johnny? *
LAROCHE *
Hi. *
ORLEAN *
It's beginning to get light here. *
LAROCHE *
Here, too. *
ORLEAN *
Really? There you go. We're twins. *
(beat) *
Are you lonely sometimes, Johnny? *
LAROCHE *
I was a weird kid. Nob ody liked me. But *
I had this idea if I waited long enough, *
someone would come around and just, *
y'know, understand m e. Like my mom, *
except some one else. * pg. 115
CONTINUED: (4)211M 211M
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)I knew the uni verse wouldn't let me go my *
whole life alo ne like that. It'd send *
someone, she'd look at me, and quietly *
say, "yes", just lik e that. And I *
wouldn't be alone anymore. *
Orlean is flabber gasted. She remai ns silent, then: *
ORLEAN *
I once had the very same b elief, John. *
INT. VAN - NIGHT212C 212C *
The van is parked on the beach. The back do ors are open. *
Orlean and Laroch e make love ins ide on a sle eping bag. The *
junk is pushed to the sides. Laroc he seems clumsy, but *
Orlean is enraptu red: every touc h sends her fur ther into the *
experience. S he glances past Laroche at the mo on. She sees *
the moonlight ref lecting off the junk in the va n. Everything *
glows with uneart hly beauty: a c oke can, a b ag of soil, some *
lines of the green powder spr ead on a trowel . Orlean looks *
with love at these items, then at Laro che's strain ing face. *
She pulls h im to her and kisses him. *
ORLEAN *
(in a whisper) *
Yes. *
Laroche starts to cry. *
INT. RENTAL CAR - NIGHT 212D 212D *
Kaufman drives, p ale and sweaty. T hey pass ver y few cars *
now. Orlean smiles, lost in her story. *
ORLEAN *
I'd never had sex before. No t like that, *
anyway. I wasn't guilty about my *
marriage. Or fantas izing about someone *
else. I was j ust there. Alive. *
Adapting. You will not ta ke this away. *
I won't go back. *
Orlean looks hard at Kaufman, who stares straight ahead. *
KAUFMAN *
I don't want anyt hing from you. *
ORLEAN *
Back in New Yo rk, back on the book, I *
couldn't focus . Back, I c ouldn't care. * pg. 116
CONTINUED:212B 212B
LAROCHE (cont'd)INT. ORLEAN'S OFF ICE - NIGHT 212E 212E *
Orlean paces. Sh e types at the computer standing up. *
ORLEAN *
(plowing through) *
Um... and we foll owed it... like a *
beacon... all the way to t he road. Done. *
(dials phone) *
Yeah, hi. I need a ticket to Miami. *
OMITTED213 213 *
EXT. LAROCHE'S BACKYARD - DAY 213A 213A *
Laroche is inside a make-shift gree nhouse tendi ng to several *
immature ghost orchids. Orle an lies on t he grass outside, *
transfixed by a c olony of ants. Th e sun is warm on her skin. *
LAROCHE *
Milking the Se minoles is c ool, but we *
should introdu ce this to the general *
public, Suze. Make a shitloa d of change. *
ORLEAN *
Boy! I can quit writing! *
(new thought) *
I wish I were an ant . They're very *
shiny. *
LAROCHE *
You're shinier th an any ant, darlin'. *
ORLEAN *
That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever *
said to me. *
LAROCHE *
Well, I like y ou, is why. *
(back to business) *
The cool part is, if the g ov doesn't know *
the drug ex ists, it ain't con trolled. A *
Laroche kind of plan , if I do say. *
INT. RENTAL CAR - NIGHT 214 214 *
Kaufman and Or lean drive. The passing landscape is dark and *
wooded and swa mpy. There are no other cars. The only thing *
clearly visible is the lit-up rear of Laroche's van. *
ORLEAN *
So... Our prod uct is a small hit on the *
Miami club scene. * pg. 117
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)We're going to make a fortune. We call *
it "Passion." The kids call it Pash or P
or Flower.
(giggles)
Isn't that sweet?
Up ahead, Laro che turns off the road at t he Fakahatchee sign.
ORLEAN (cont'd)
Follow John ny, please. *
EXT. JANES SCENIC DRIVE - A L ITTLE WHILE LATER 215 215
Laroche's van sto ps in the middle of the road. His hand out *
the window ind icates that Kau fman should pul l off to the *
right onto a logg ing road. Kauf man does, pulls up to a matal *
barrier and parks . Laroche park s behind, block ing him in. *
OMITTED216 216 *
EXT. LOGGING ROAD - CONTINUOUS 217 217
Kaufman gets out of the car. Or lean does al so, keeping the
gun on him.
ORLEAN
Come around.
As Kaufman comes around the c ar to join Orle an, he sees
Donald, wild-eyed, on the floor in the ba ck. Laroche is in
the rear of his v an, getting some equipment. As Orlean goes
to meet Kaufman, Donald swings o pen the back right passenger
door, hitting her and sending her f lying. L aroche pokes his *
head out of the b ack of his van in time to see Donald
grabbing Kaufm an and dragging him into the swamp.
LAROCHE
Who was that?!
ORLEAN
I don't know! I didn't see!
LAROCHE
Fuck! Help me find the f lashlights! *
Orlean pulls hers elf up and d rags herself ov er to the van as
Laroche is throwing things around in the messy back,
searching for fla shlights. We see t he lovely C oke can. *
EXT. SWAMP - CONTINUOUS 218 218
Kaufman and Donal d slog through the black swamp, trip over *
unseen vines. Laroche and Orlea n banging aroun d in his van
can be heard in the distance. pg. 118
CONTINUED:214 214
ORLEAN (cont'd)
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
For Christ's sake, why did n't you do *
something while we were in the car?
DONALD
My back had seize d. I couldn't move.
Laroche and Orlea n have found the flashlights and entered the
swamp. The beams search the dar kness near the brothers. *
Donald pulls K aufman behind a stand of trees. They sit and
wait in silence, breath ing hard. Orle an and Laroche are *
heard slogging and talking in the distance. *
LAROCHE (O.C.)
It was a guy?
ORLEAN (O.C.)
Fat. That's all I could tell. *
LAROCHE (O.C.)
This really compl icates things.
Orlean and Lar oche are very close now.
ORLEAN (O.C.)
I know, John. I get that. Thanks.
LAROCHE (O.C.)
We need to split up. *
Orlean and Laroch e can be seen b ehind Kaufman a nd Donald now.
ORLEAN
I'm not going to be by myself out here. *
LAROCHE
All right. But w e've gotta hustle. *
Laroche and Orlea n move off. Their voices ge t far away. *
KAUFMAN
They're going to find us.
DONALD
I don't think so.
KAUFMAN
I don't want to die, Donald. I've wasted
my life. God, I've wasted it.
DONALD
You did not. And you're not gonna die. pg. 119
CONTINUED:218 218
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN
I wasted it. I admire you , Donald,
y'know? I spend my whole life paralyzed
worrying what peo ple think of me and you -
- you're ju st oblivious.
DONALD
I'm not oblivious.
KAUFMAN
No, you don't understand. I say that as
a compliment. I really do.
(beat)
There was this time in high school. I
was watching y ou out the l ibrary window.
You were talki ng to Sarah Marsh.
DONALD
Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
KAUFMAN
I know. And y ou were flirtin g with her.
And she was reall y sweet to you.
DONALD
I remember that.
KAUFMAN
Then when you walked away, she started *
making fun of you with Kim Canetti. It *
was like they wer e laughing at me. You *
didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
DONALD
I knew. I heard them.
KAUFMAN
How come you looked so happy?
DONALD
I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine,
that love. I owned it. Even Sarah *
didn't have the right to take it away. I
can love wh oever I want.
KAUFMAN
She thought you were pathetic.
DONALD
That was her b usiness, not mi ne. You are
what you love, not what loves you.
That's what I decided a lo ng time ago. * pg. 120
CONTINUED: (2)218 218
(CONTINUED)Kaufman and Donal d sit there for a long while in silence.
Kaufman starts to cry softly.
DONALD (cont'd)
What's up?
KAUFMAN
Thank you.
DONALD
For what?
Slogging sounds. Orlean and Lar oche are getting close again.
Flashlight beams mis s Kaufman and Donald by inches. *
ORLEAN (O.C.)
We looked h ere already.
LAROCHE (O.C.)
No.
ORLEAN (O.C.)
I recognize this tree.
LAROCHE (O.C.)
Suzy, I know every tree in here. *
ORLEAN (O.C.)
I'm thinking t his is a bad idea, John. *
On Orlean and Laroche. *
LAROCHE *
What do you mean? *
ORLEAN *
It was the Pash. My he ad is clearing now *
and suddenly this whole idea seems *
completely fuc ked up. *
LAROCHE *
Well, y'know, I said that. I said this *
was crazy. I tri ed to reason with -- *
ORLEAN *
I know. I' m sorry. *
LAROCHE *
Yeah, anyway, what do we do now? *
ORLEAN *
Maybe we talk to the guy. We can't go *
killing people. * pg. 121
CONTINUED: (3)218 218
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE *
If you recall, that's what I said before. *
ORLEAN *
I made a mistake. Jesus. What do you *
want from me? *
Laroche shakes his head, m utters, then: *
LAROCHE *
(calling) *
Charlie! We're n ot going to hurt you. *
We just want to talk! *
On Kaufman and Donald. They loo k at each other. Donald *
shakes his head "no." *
ORLEAN *
We're really sorry! It's just that... *
The flashlights shine elsewhere and the voic es go far away. *
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. SWAMP - E ARLY MORNING 219 219
The light is gray , pre-dawn, mur ky. Donald and Kaufman are
asleep. Donald awakens, looks around. The rental car is
still there, but there's no van. Dona ld nudges Ka ufman. He
wakes, looks at D onald, who indicat es the missing van.
KAUFMAN
They gone?
DONALD
I don't know. Maybe.
They quietly s log toward t he road. There 's no sign of
Laroche or Orlean. Don ald looks ba ck and smiles at Kaufman.
They're getting out of here. Kaufman feels a new, profound
affection for his brother. He pats Donald on the back. It's
an awkward tap, s omething never attempted before. Donald
gives a cheerful thumbs-up without looking back. They arrive
at the car. D onald is heading around to the passenger side
and stops dead in his tracks. Kauf man looks over to see
what's caught Don ald's eye: ther e, sitting prop ped against a
tree, sleeps L aroche, his rifle on the ground n ext to him.
Kaufman and Donal d are momentarily frozen. Then:
ORLEAN (O.S.)
(in the distance)
John! pg. 122
CONTINUED: (4)218 218
(CONTINUED)Kaufman and Donal d whirl around to see Orlean eyeing them as
she emerges fr om the van park ed up the road.
ORLEAN (O.S .) (CONT'D)
John!
Laroche opens his eyes. With a groggy start he sees the
identical brot hers standing before him. He instinctively
grabs for the rifle. To everyone's surprise it fires.
Donald is hit in the arm. Donald yelps.
KAUFMAN
Jesus!
Laroche is wide-eyed , doesn't know what to do. Kaufman grabs *
Donald and shoves him in the driver's side door. Kaufman
gets in behind hi m, closes the d oor and searche s his pockets
for keys. Lar oche approaches the c ar. Kauf man finds the *
keys, starts t he car, backs w ildly onto Janes Scenic Drive. *
INT. RENTAL CA R - CONTINUOUS 220 220
Kaufman driving. Do nald in the midst of an adrenaline rush. *
DONALD
(laughing)
I can't believe I got shot! Isn't that
fucked up?
KAUFMAN
(laughing too)
Shut up! Stop laughing. Are you okay?
DONALD
Yeah! It's co ol! I'm shot!
KAUFMAN
We gotta get y ou to a hospital. *
They pass Orlean next to the van. She follows them with eyes *
spaced on pash.
DONALD *
Jesus, Give me some of that shit. That
looks nice. Let's party!
Kaufman and Do nald both crane their necks to watch her recede
as they drive the swamp road. Then, f rom around a curve, a
ranger truck c omes barreling. The vehicles col lide and spin
violently around. The driver's side airbag dep loys. Donald
flies through the windshield. Kaufman regai ns his bearings
and sees his b rother halfway out the car, th e front of his *
body a bloody mess. * pg. 123
CONTINUED:219 219
(CONTINUED)Kaufman hurries a round the car to Dona ld, who is conscious, *
but fading fast. Kaufman tries to keep him awa ke, at the *
same time watchin g out for Orlea n and Laroche. *
KAUFMAN *
Donald, it's gonn a be okay. You're gonna *
be okay. Just do n't go to sleep. *
Donald's eyes close. Kaufman starts to sing. *
KAUFMAN (cont'd) *
Imagine me and you. I do. *
DONALD AND KAUFMAN *
I think about you day and night. *
It's only right. To think ab out the one *
you love... *
Donald is dead. A battered-looking, dazed Mike Owen emerges *
from the ranger truck, sees the two Kaufmans, is confused. *
Kaufman stares at the body. Orlean approaches Mike Owen from *
behind. Her m outh is open; she loo ks horrified, fascinated, *
at the body of Do nald. Mike Owen reaches into his truck and
grabs the C.B.
MIKE OWEN *
We need help h ere. Logging road twelve. *
Bad car accide nt. Is anyone there? *
Terry? Terry, wake the he ll up and -- *
Orlean shoots Mike Owen in th e back of the head. He slumps *
to the ground, le aving Orlean an d Kaufman st aring at each
other. Orlean's eyes well with tears. She can't look down *
at Owen. As K aufman and O rlean stare at eac h other, it's *
obvious to both t hat this has go ne beyond the point of no
return. Kaufman must be next. He bol ts into the swamp. She *
follows.
ORLEAN
Johnny!
Laroche, approach ing from down t he road, sees K aufman running
into the woods. He angles in to cut him off.
EXT. SWAMP - CONTINUOUS 221 221
Laroche and Or lean, running f rom two diff erent directions,
gain on Kaufman a nd limit his optio ns. Kaufman finds himself *
up against a l ake. Alligators swim in it. There's nowhere *
to go. Orlean an d Laroche ar rive, stop, heave. The three
stare at each other. Laroche wa lks toward Kaufman. * pg. 124
CONTINUED:220 220
(CONTINUED)LAROCHE *
I'm sorry I have to do this, dude. I'm *
not a killer. But put yourself in our -- *
Laroche steps on someth ing - An alligator : it awakens, *
startled and angr y, and reflexively grabs Laroche' s leg. His *
rifle fires at no thing. Orle an screams. Th e alligator *
pulls Laroche to the ground a nd tears him ap art. Kaufman *
watches. Orle an turns her gun on the creature, shooting *
crazily until it's dead. Laroche is d ead. Orlean looks at *
his body, drops h er gun, stunned , then looks to Kaufman. *
ORLEAN *
(screaming) *
You fat piece of shi t! He's dead, you *
hack! You rui ned my life! You loser! *
You're a godda mn fat, hack! You hear me? *
What do you want? ! What do you want from *
-- *
KAUFMAN *
Shut up! Shut up ! My brothe r's dead, *
you psychot ic bitch! Your book ruined my *
life! You're jus t a lonely, old, *
desperate, pathet ic drug addict! *
ORLEAN *
(suddenly weeping) *
Oh my God. Everything's o ver. I did *
everything wrong. I want my life back. *
I want it back befor e it got all fucked *
up. Let me be a baby again. I want to *
be new. I wan t to be new. *
Orlean collapses into a heap, sobbing. Kaufman watches, *
suddenly feeling so much for this person, this concept turned *
flesh before h is eyes. The sun is rising. She glows. *
KAUFMAN *
Your writing. It helped m e. Your book *
didn't ruin my life at all. Okay? *
ORLEAN *
Writing's a lie. Everything is a lie. *
KAUFMAN *
No. I think it c an touch people. Like *
if it expresses h ow it is to be lonely, *
that helps other peo ple feel not so *
lonely, maybe. * pg. 125
CONTINUED:221 221
(CONTINUED)ORLEAN *
I just wanted, I just want ed, I just *
wanted... *
There's a sile nce. Then: *
KAUFMAN *
What did yo u want? *
ORLEAN *
I just wanted. T hat's all. I just *
didn't want to die living the life I was *
living. *
KAUFMAN *
You tried to find something better for *
yourself. That's a good thing, Susan. *
ORLEAN *
Thank you f or saying that. *
KAUFMAN *
You found s omebody you lov ed. You *
followed your heart and you loved and -- *
ORLEAN *
Johnny. *
Orlean picks up Laroche's rifle and shoots herself. *
OMITTED222-223 222-223 *
INT. EMPTY LIVING ROOM - DAY 224 224
Kaufman and his m other are putting Don ald's belongings in
boxes. They look at each other fro m across the room.
Wordlessly, they meet in the middle an d hug, b oth crying. *
MOTHER
You should get so me furniture, I think. *
KAUFMAN
Yeah. I'm goi ng to do that, mom.
MOTHER
I worry about you , Charles. *
KAUFMAN
I know. I'm g oing to get a couch, some
overstuffed ch airs, a coffee table. Make
it really comfort able in here. pg. 126
CONTINUED: (2)221 221
(CONTINUED)MOTHER
Then you could entertain.
KAUFMAN
That sounds good.
INT. MARGARET'S OFFICE- DAY 225 225
Kaufman knocks on the open door.
KAUFMAN
Knock knock. *
Margaret looks up.
MARGARET
Char-lay!
She jumps up from her desk and runs to him, hugs him.
MARGARET (cont'd)
I'm so sorry to h ear about your brother.
KAUFMAN
Thanks. Th ank you.
She look compassi onately into hi s face. He meets her gaze. *
She closes the door and brings him to the couch . They sit.
MARGARET
I was going to call when I heard, but --
I don't know. Then it got to be too long *
and then I couldn't. I 'm just stupid. *
KAUFMAN
No, I understa nd, really. *
MARGARET
You able to wo rk at all, sweetie? *
KAUFMAN
Hey, I'm al most done!
MARGARET
Great! Please let me read it when you're *
ready. That's all I ask in this life. *
KAUFMAN
Listen, Margaret, I came by for a reason.
(deep breat h, quickly) * pg. 127
CONTINUED:224 224
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)I wanted to tell you I think you're
lovely and won derful, and I'v e never been
able to say it because I w as afraid to
find out you didn't feel the same. *
Kaufman pauses an d tries to read Ma rgaret's reacti on. He *
can't, so he plows on. *
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
But I guess I realize now ,um, I can love *
you, y'know, anyway. I don't have to *
get anything back. I mean, I'm not *
saying you don 't give me a nything back. *
I'm not saying that at all. I'm just *
saying, I'm gl ad you're in the world. *
(laughing, embarrassed) *
So, thanks for being in the world, *
Margaret. Okay then.
MARGARET
Wow, Charlie. Wow. I don't know what to
say.
KAUFMAN
It's okay. I' m glad I kno w you is all.
I'll send you the script w hen it's done.
MARGARET
That sounds go od. Hey, thanks for
telling me, be ing honest. That's really
great.
Kaufman smiles, gets up. *
MARGARET (cont'd) *
You're a great guy. *
INT. CAR - A F EW MINUTES LATER 226 226 *
Kaufman, in the p arking garage, waits in line with his *
validated ticket. T he attendant ta kes it and Kaufman pulls *
onto the street. Margaret ap pears in front of his car, *
looking a little pal e. Kaufman rolls down his window. *
KAUFMAN
Hey. What's up?
She approaches, nervously kisses him. He looks at her. *
MARGARET
I kinda thought maybe I could play hooky
today. Stupid job. What do you think? pg. 128
CONTINUED:225 225
KAUFMAN (cont'd)
(CONTINUED)KAUFMAN *
Um, that sound s good. I've never played *
hooky before. *
Margaret smiles, runs around the front of the car, and hops *
in the passeng er side. They drive off , both st aring ahead,
both sweetly anxi ous on this new adventure.
FADE TO BLACK.
WHITE TEXT ON BLACK SCREEN: 227 227
"We're a ll one thing, L ieutenant. That's what I've come
to realize. L ike cells in a body. 'Cept we can't see
the body. The way fish can't see the ocean. And so we
envy each othe r. Hurt each other. Hate each other.
How silly is that? A hear t cell hatin g a lung cell."
- Cassie from The Three
In Loving Memory of Donald Kaufman
THE END pg. 129
CONTINUED:226 226 | screenplays |
What is happening ? Saturn on the Steering wheel and Mars about to join its Debilitation sign on the 11th July and Rahu in Leo about to Join the junction point and then join Cancer and Sun ingress in Cancer sign could unfold some Aggression by the Giants and Specially China . The Planetary positions are taking explosive turn . It is said that when the Capricorn Darkest Sign of the Zodiac is Afflicted then war like conditions prevail, specially when the Malefics Transit this sign . Unfortunately Ketu will transit Capricorn and Rahu in Cancer on the 9th Sept. 2017. Saturn , Rahu Positions will be most Damaging since connected to the Watery and Fiery signs and then Mars also joining Leo on the 26th August at junction points can work as ammunition dump. I am afraid to write Ketu in Capricorn and aspects By fallen Saturn at very close degrees after 9th Sept. 2017 could Explode the situations , Since Rahu and Ketu both have been aspected by Saturn . Saturn aspects Ketu in Aquarius when Saturn ingresses in Sagitarius on the 26th Jan. 2017 , then on the 21st June as a Fallen Planet Saturn started to aspect Rahu, now Saturn as a Fallen Planet will aspect Ketu after 9th Sept. 2017. Ever since Saturn has fallen he has Punished and Rewarded so many and brought about changes in the alignment of the Countries . Take the Example of Qatar isolated by 6 Countries. The Brawl between Trump and Kim taking ugly turn and now China also wants to join. The Situations are sickening and can take the most ugly turn. Mars Activating the Eclipse point on the 2nd Sept. 2017 of the Total Solar Eclipse of the 22nd August 2017 Could further act as a catalyst to take the situations to land in oblivion. Let me write this Article for the catastrophic Planetary positions for Heavy Rains, Tsunamis ,Earthquakes ,Natural and Unnatural Calamities , War on Sea giving weightage to "CHINA IN WAR MOOD" .
India has pushed in more troops in a "non-combative mode" to strengthen its position in an area near Sikkim, where its soldiers have been locked in a standoff with Chinese troops for almost a month now in what has been the longest such impasse between the two armies since 1962.
India brought in more troops after the destruction of two of its bunkers and "aggressive tactics" adopted by the Chinese People's Liberation Army (PLA), sources said. In a "non- combative mode", the nozzle of a gun is placed downwards.
Read this News also " STAND DOWN: China launches WARSHIPS to intercept US destroyer " link http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/626786/China-US-War-South-Sea-Navy-Donald-Trump-USS-Stethem-Triton-Xi-Jingping-Islands-World-3. The Situations are becoming grim day by day.
For Research and Analysis let us have a Look at the Planetary positions when there was a war with China on the 20th Oct. 1962.
Rahu-Ketu in Transit over the Natal Navamsha in 1/7 axis , meaning Rahu over Ketu and Ketu over Rahu.
As per the above Planetary combinations the Following Dates are Prone for Aggressive actions by China in the Present Scenario along with Natural and in natural Calamities in the Country , Tsunami like events, Earthquakes , Fires etc.
The Natural and In natural Calamities, Fire, Tsunami, Explosions, Earthquakes cannot be ruled out in the Globe and this Transit may not be good for the World in Totality . China will be in war mood and the Giants , US, Russia, China may be responsible for War type Escalation of Activities . I have already mentioned in my articles that from 30th April to 5th May 2019 are most Provocative Period then the Present Scenario hence if the Tensions begin now from these planetary positions they will explode in May 2019. Needless to mention the Countries Prone to Natural and In natural calamites since already articles have been written , This Transit will be applicable to all those articles as well, May be it is For India-China, US-Russia, US-North Korea, US-China. Gulf Countries , Syria , Qatar will be the worst affected . The alignment between the different Countries will be disturbed .
The effects on Trump and N Modi in particular may be seen since Saturn Fallen is Transits over their Natal Moon in Scorpio and also Influences the Lagna and the 10th House in both cases. | slim_pajama |
Conservation of momenta in the solar system
I am writing a python program to simulate the universe and I had a question regarding conservation laws. As rightly stated in these [answers](https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/174691/conservation-of-angular-momentum-in-a-planetary-system/174703), "Both are conserved if you consider the whole system ... (but) subsystems may violate conservation laws." From this, I took that as a whole the solar system will conserve both angular and linear momentum, but for instance, the Sun-Earth interaction will not, and conserve only angular momentum. In my simulation, however, I am not sure why my linear momentum for the whole system is fluctuating so much. All the other values are conserved to a high degree such as $KE + PE =$ constant and angular momentum, however, I am failing to wrap my head around the linear momentum.  
The linear momentum varies by up to $75%$ however the angular momentum varies by far less than $1%$. The axis is just a bit deceiving for the angular momentum so it looks more. If I am correct the linear momentum should be constant so why is it fluctuating so much?
Update: Extra Figures
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/XxJHf.png)
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/qeKBB.png)
The top figure shows the individual components of linear momentum over time. The second figure showing the $x$ component of the linear momentum over time.
I started to write a comment. However, I eventually decided that it could be more useful as a full answer, since it covers a point that is often overlooked, even in the literature.
The general problem is *how can we decide how well the numerical integration of the equation of motion satisfies some exact conservation law?*
The general answer is the following. As soon as a conserved quantity $A$ is the sum of different terms ($A=\sum\_i A\_i $), the time variation of $A$ should be compared with each $A\_i$ and significantly smaller. In the case of a conserved quantity, the non-exact numerical conservation is only due to a combination of the error due to the integration algorithm, and round-off error. The former is usually dominant and can be easily identified from the decrease of the relative size of the variation of $A$ with respect to variations of $A\_i$ with decreasing the time step. In some cases, when using [symplectic algorithms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symplectic_integrator), the algorithm does not contribute to the error and only the time-step-independent round-off error remains.
For example, in order to judge the conservation of one of the cartesian components of the total linear momentum of the bodies in the solar system, one has to compare it to the corresponding component of the linear momentum of one of the planets. Done the comparison in this way, the variations in the corresponding plot should look very small. Actually, the best way to look at the results is to put *on the same plot* say $p\_{tot,x}$ and, for example, $p\_{Mercury,x}$. From the figure in the original question, I would suspect an excellent conservation of linear momentum.
Similarly for other quantities; for instance, the total angular momentum could be compared with $m\_ix\_i v\_{y,i}$, or the total energy with $\frac12 m\_i v^2\_{x,i}$.
Notice that there are papers in the literature where the conservation of energy is assessed in terms of the percentage variation of the total energy with respect to its initial value. Such a procedure is clearly meaningless, as soon as one realizes that energies are always defined within an arbitrary constant. Therefore the absolute value of the initial (or average energy) is not a safe quantity to be used in a comparison. *Variations* must be compared with other *variations*.
You should also include the linear momentum of the Sun.
The planets, especially Jupiter, cause the Sun to move slightly and it orbits around the 'barycenter' the true center of mass of the solar system.
After question edit:
If the momentum of the Sun is already included...
The variation is approximately the momentum of Jupiter, so it's a big variation. Here are a some suggestions.
1. To check the numbers for Jupiter
2. Check the direction of the momentum / time relation is ok
3. Check that the momentum used is relative to the barycenter.
Hope you can find the problem...
All numerical computing involves some amount of rounding error, and some amount of compromise between insulating against rounding error and algorithm speed. So the first question you have to ask should be “is this loss of precision a lot?”
It certainly *looks* like a lot, with your $10^{31}$ and $10^{36}$ in your plot axis labels. But you point out in a comment (and hiding in your axis labels in a slightly confusing way) that the *total* angular momentum in your solar system is of order $10^{43}$. (You don’t say, but I guess you are probably working in SI units, and those are joule-seconds.) So what you actually have is a change in the total angular momentum of your solar system at the part-per-million level. If I’m correctly reading Saturn’s orbit off of the plot with planetary motions, this is a part-per-million change over a hundred years of integration.
Part-per-million rounding errors are a place where your algorithm might be able to improve, but nothing to sneeze at.
I don’t quite understand how your first figure is related to your third figure (in v4 of your question). But comparing your third and fourth figures: if you have linear momentum components oscillating with amplitude $10^{31}$ (whether that’s $\rm kg\,m/s$ or some other unit) and the sums of those components are steady at the level of $10^{17}$ in the same units, you’re operating pretty close to the limit for double-precision computer arithmetic. Nothing to complain about there.
It’s always helpful, when modeling, to choose a “natural unit” for your problem so that you have some idea whether an effect is big or not. Back in the days of single-precision floating-point you would have stumbled onto this requirement already: your angular momentum $10^{43}$ [can’t even be represented in single precision](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single-precision_floating-point_format), and your total linear momentum $10^{31}$ would be subject to overflow if you computed its magnitude the “obvious” way
```
p = sqrt(p_x**2 + p_y**2) # generates 10^{62}-ish intermediate value
```
versus the more subtle
```
a, b = sorted(p_x, p_y) # guarantee a < b
p = b * sqrt( 1 + (a/b)**2 )
```
I vaguely recall the second approach has better accuracy even when overflow is not an issue, but I don’t remember a detailed argument for why; it probably depends on the details of rounding errors in `sqrt`.
I like to use [astronomical natural units](https://physics.stackexchange.com/a/112541/44126) for solar-system models. Instead of meters, kilograms, and seconds, use astronomical units (AU), solar masses, and years. Figuring out useful reference values for planetary linear and angular momenta in those units, or even in SI units, is a chore which will help you understand the numerical side of your problem a little better.
| stackexchange/physics |
MUSIC IN: "Stone Cold Dead in the Market" by Louis Jordon
THE TITLES appear on black. They are intercut with CLOSE-UPS
of a fighter's body.
EXAMPLES:
Feet move.
Credit over black.
Body lunges.
Credit over black.
Fists swing and punch at the air.
Credit over black.
WE CATCH A GLIMPSE of young JAKE LAMOTTA.
THEN CUT TO:
INT. BARBIZON PLAZA THEATRE - DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT (1964)
JAKE LAMOTTA, wearing a tux, is shadow-boxing.
We are unsure of where he is -- he moves in and out of the
shadows. At 42, he's overweight and out of shape, but the
balls of his feet still pop up and down like they were on
canvas and his tiny fists still jerk forward with short
bursts of light. He is rehearsing a nightclub monologue.
JAKE
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a thrill to be standing here
talking to you wonderful people. In
fact, it's a thrill to be standing!
I haven't seen so many people since
my last fight at Madison Square
Garden. After that fight, a
reporter asked me, 'Jake, where do
you go from here?' I said, 'To a
hospital!' I fought one hundred and
six professional fights and still
none of them bums figured out how
to fight me -- they kept hitting me
in the head! And that's why I'm
here tonight...
(starts to sing)
'When the fighter's not engaged in
his employment, his employment,
although he was Champ and quite the
rage, he must go somewhere else to
seek employment, seek employment.
But a fighter's life is not a bowl
of cherries, still I'd rather have
an egg than a fist upon my face...
That's Entertainment!'
INT. CLEVELAND ARENA - NIGHT (1941)
Bam! JIMMY REEVES, a fast, black middleweight, jabs LAMOTTA,
19 years old, in the face. JAKE staggers forward. No matter
how hard LAMOTTA is hit, no matter how often, he always
staggers forward -- like a bull. The bell sounds.
Battered, JAKE slumps on the stool in his corner.
It's September, 1941. Europe and Asia are already at war.
Young SOLDIERS, freshly recruited, dot the hostile audience --
each screaming at the FIGHTERS in the ring.
Suddenly, words are exchanged, a GIRL screams, and a SOLDIER
and a CIVILIAN stand and start swinging.
AND IN THE RING: JAKE LAMOTTA takes a swig of water and spits
blood into the bucket his younger brother, JOEY, holds for
him. TONY, his trainer, works the cuts.
JOEY
You didn't have to come to
Cleveland to get beat by a "moulan
yan," Jake!
TONY
He's got you, Jake! You're
outpointed! You're coming up for
the tenth. You gotta knock him out!
The bell sounds for the tenth. JAKE pulls himself up and
charges at REEVES.
REEVES slides away, jabbing, punching, piling up points.
In JAKE's corner, JOEY stands and yells at JAKE:
JOEY
A grand apiece! We got a grand
apiece on this, Jake! A fucking
grand!
JAKE suddenly corners REEVES and unleashes a desperate, wild
alley-fighting attack. One ferocious punch after another.
The SPECTATORS go wild; everyone's up for the kill.
REEVES staggers, then falls to the canvas.
The REFEREE counts:
REFEREE
One, two, three, four...
The GAMBLERS call out new odds; ten to one for REEVES, the
underdog. JOEY, excited, sees that time is running out and
steps in front of the bell. He swings his arms, pretending
not to realize he literally holds back the TIMER's arm for a
few seconds. This gives JAKE more time for a knockout -- but
not enough. JOEY is pushed back and the bell rings at the
count of nine, ending the match.
Boos and cheers. The BETTORS scramble back to the BOOKIE to
get their money.
JAKE dances around the ring, kissing his gloves and thrusting
them toward the CROWD. JOEY rushes out and hugs him.
The ANNOUNCER steps into the ring with the mike:
ANNOUNCER
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner,
under the rules of the Cleveland
Boxing Commission, after ten
rounds, by a decision -- Jimmy
Reeves.
The ANNOUNCER holds up REEVES' arm as his corner tries to
lift him off the canvas -- still out cold. TWO ATTENDANTS
bring in a stretcher.
JAKE is stunned. He still prances around, now trying to
figure out what happened. He raises his arms in victory, and
the FANS go crazy, cheering, ripping chairs out, fighting
with the COPS, throwing bottles and junk into the ring.
PEOPLE go into the ring.
JOEY
(to Jake)
Don't get out of the ring. You won
the fight -- let him go out first.
CUT TO:
REEVES being placed on the stretcher.
A ringside OFFICIAL signals the ORGANIST and she starts to
play the "Star Spangled Banner." REEVES is carried out.
Only then do JOEY and TONY escort JAKE out of the ring.
EXT. WEBSTER AVENUE AND 169TH ST., THE BRONX - NEXT DAY
It's a rough neighborhood, inhabited primarily by welfare
cases and street kids.
In the street, two young PUNKS, 13 or 14 years old, exchange
words and start to fight. Their FRIENDS cheer them on. SALVY
and JOEY turn the corner.
JOEY
Salvy, would I steer you wrong?
Let's say that's the truck; it's
full of cigarettes, right? Now, two
o'clock this morning we move the
truck from here to there,
(he points; the CAMERA
PANS)
take the cigarettes out, sell 'em,
make some cash.
SALVY
Hey but Joey, you're thinking
nickels and dimes. The money's with
your brother.
JOEY
What do you want from my life,
Salvy? He's my brother.
SALVY
He ain't doin' the right thing.
He's makin' beans compared to what
he should be makin'. Can't you make
him understand that?
A COP goes over and starts to break up the fight.
JOEY
(to cop)
Hey, leave the kids alone.
SALVY
Get lost.
(joking, he knows the Cop)
Hey kids, "A cop is a rat."
Remember that, "A rat."
The KIDS yell.
JOEY
(to Cop)
Hey Jimmy, here's a dollar for your
trouble. There's some bums around
the corner -- they need your help.
COP
Keep the dollar, Joey. Get yourself
a new suit.
JOEY
(laughs)
Here's my new suit.
(grabs his crotch)
Right here.
COP
Hey, don't get wise!
JOEY
Just kidding, take it easy.
(to himself)
No fuckin' sense of humor.
SALVY and JOEY continue to walk a little faster, giggling.
INT. JAKE AND IRMA'S KITCHEN - DAY
JAKE, bandaged from the REEVES fight the night before, sits
at the kitchen table (he's had a few glasses of wine) while
his wife, IRMA, 19, cooks at the stove.
JAKE gets up and pokes at the frying steak with a fork.
JAKE
This looks done.
IRMA
It's not done.
JAKE
It looks done. I'll take it the way
it is.
IRMA
Here's your steak. You can't wait
for it to be done. Here.
She slams the steak onto his plate, and reaches back to the
stove.
IRMA (CONT'D)
Here's your carrots. You're in such
a hurry. You can't wait.
JAKE
No, I can't wait. You know when I
wait? When it's important to wait.
It's not important to wait for no
steak. It's important to wait for
Reeves to leave the ring. It ain't
important to wait for no steak! I
won that fight. So, I stayed in the
ring, and that way I made sure
everybody knew it. I shoulda
knocked him out earlier,
sonofabitch.
He starts to eat the steak. He takes a drink of wine.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Wait! I'll wait. But let me tell
you, if this steak was the
middleweight championship, I'd show
you how I'd wait. I'd eat it raw.
I'd drink the blood. I'd eat it
before it came out of the cow --
that's how I'd wait.
EXT. JAKE AND IRMA'S APARTMENT BUILDING/TENEMENT - DAY
SALVY and JOEY approach the building.
JOEY
I can't convince him. He's got such
a thick head, I'd like to crack it
open myself. Believe me, my own
brother. It's very hard. You don't
have to convince me -- I know we
should be with Tommy. You talk to
him. He don't listen to nobody.
SALVY
Look, I'm just tellin' you how
Tommy feels. Jake is makin' it hard
on himself. Tommy wants him with
us. It's as simple as that.
They stop at the doorway.
SALVY (CONT'D)
Talk some sense into him, will ya?
You're still his brother.
If he ain't gonna listen to you, he
ain't gonna listen to nobody!
JOEY
All right, I'll try. See you later.
SALVY
Tomorrow, at the gym. Don't forget.
JOEY
Right, the gym.
SALVY leaves. JOEY goes into the building.
INT. JAKE AND IRMA'S KITCHEN - DAY
JOEY is knocking at the door. IRMA opens it.
JOEY
(noticing Jake)
What's the matter?
IRMA
He's doing it again.
JOEY
(goes to Jake)
What's the matter? You're drinking.
You're eating like an animal.
JOEY sits next to JAKE at the kitchen table. JAKE has a drink
in his hand, and tears on his face.
JOEY (CONT'D)
What's wrong?
JAKE
(gets up)
Nothing...
JAKE goes into the living room. IRMA looks at JOEY. JOEY
follows JAKE.
INT. LIVING ROOM
JOEY walks up to JAKE.
JOEY
Hey, c'mon, what's the matter?
JAKE
(privately, to Joey)
I ain't ever gonna fight Joe Louis,
that's what's the matter.
JOEY
What're you talking about? He's a
heavyweight. You're a middleweight.
JAKE holds out his scarred hands.
JAKE
Look at these hands. These fuckin'
hands. I was born with a girl's
hands. And even if I put on enough
weight to be a heavyweight, I'd be
too slow to fight. No matter how
big I get, I'll never be big enough
to fight Louis.
JAKE pauses. IRMA watches from the doorway.
JOEY
That's what I'm sayin'. You
shouldn't even think like that.
It's crazy.
JAKE
I tell you one thing. Ok, I'll
never be big enough to fight Louis,
but I know Joey, I know...
JOEY
You know?
JAKE
Yeah. Do me a favor.
JOEY
Sure. What is it?
JAKE
Hit me in the face.
JOEY
(after a pause)
You want me to do what?
JAKE
You heard me, I said hit me.
JOEY
C'mon, Jack. You had a few drinks.
JAKE
Go ahead. I ain't drunk. Take your
best shot. On the jaw.
JOEY
Jack, I got no gloves.
JAKE
(grabs a nearby towel)
Here's your glove.
JOEY wraps it around his fist. IRMA watches. JOEY hits JAKE
with his right. JAKE holds fast.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Go ahead. Hit me. C'mon, don't
worry about it. I want you to hit
me with everything you got.
JOEY hauls off and lands him a real belt. JAKE rolls with it
and stands firm.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Again. Harder.
JOEY hits him again.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Harder. Go 'head.
JOEY hits him again.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Harder.
(grabs the towel)
Take the towel off.
JOEY
Jack! Enough!
JAKE
Go ahead.
JOEY hits him again. JAKE holds fast. JAKE starts to walk
away.
JOEY
What was that for? I know you can
take punches. I can hit you from
now to doomsday. What the fuck does
that prove?
JAKE
See that, I don't feel it. I can
take it. I know I can take anybody.
EXT. GLEASON'S GYM - NEXT DAY
Gleason's, a small gym and fight club, stands on 149th Street
and 3rd Avenue above a small sandwich shop.
Each day BOBBY GLEASON posts a small sign alongside the door
listing the fighters who will be working out. JAKE's name is
posted at the top; the other names are unmemorable.
INT. GLEASON'S - DAY
Gleason's has a single sparring ring and ten training bags.
About a dozen managers train their fighters out at Gleason's.
For 50 cents, spectators sit in the gallery and watch the
workouts.
JAKE is sparring with JOEY in the ring. They've been working
out for a while now. The bell rings ending the third round.
JAKE prances about the ring waiting for the bell to sound
again.
At that moment, SALVY, along with two other young "BUTTON"
MEN (actually, they are very young -- about JOEY's age) enter
the gym. They are well-dressed (over-coat, ties, suits,
flashy rings, etc.). They say hello to some PEOPLE by the
door. JAKE looks over and notices them. SALVY looks over to
the ring.
SALVY
(waves)
Hey Joey --
JOEY waves back.
SALVY (CONT'D)
(waves again)
Jake, how you doin'?
JAKE nods to SALVY very cold. SALVY notices and can feel that
he's not exactly wanted there by JAKE. JOEY notices the same
and becomes a bit nervous.
SALVY sits down near the ring but not as close as he'd like
to. His two friends, FRANKIE and GUIDO, sit nearby also.
JAKE goes to JOEY's corner.
JAKE
Did you know they were coming up
here?
JOEY doesn't answer.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Answer me when I talk to you.
JOEY
Yeah, yeah. They just wanted to
talk to you. So I...
JAKE
(interrupting)
Don't ever bring those kids up here
again! I'm working out, I'm killin'
myself in here, and they walk
around like they fuckin' own the
neighborhood.
SALVY and the OTHERS see JOEY being chewed out by JAKE. They
begin to feel unwelcome at the gym.
The bell sounds. JAKE is more aggressive now as he corners
JOEY. JAKE swings away with body punches. JOEY can't block
them. SALVY and the OTHERS watch.
The bell sounds again. With that, SALVY and the OTHERS start
to leave.
SALVY
(to Joey)
Hey Joey, we better go. See you
later.
JOEY, dazed, turns to wave.
JAKE
Go 'head. Wave goodbye. They're
your friends.
JAKE watches them leave.
JAKE (CONT'D)
And that hard-on, Salvy. Who's he
think he is? I'm gonna let that
fuckin' hard-on come up here and
act like a big shot.
JOEY
What are you getting so hot about --
Tommy Como told him to come down
here...
JAKE
(interrupting)
Hey, I don't care about Tommy Como.
I don't care about Jesus Christ on
the fuckin' cross. I gotta give
them a percentage of what I make!
I'm in here breaking my ass, not
them. Don't ever bring them up here
again.
JOEY
I didn't tell them to come. Tommy
Como...
The bell sounds again. JAKE hits JOEY a few more solid body
punches. JOEY gets angry and fights back with a flurry of
punches which have no effect on JAKE. JAKE laughs.
JAKE
That's right, fight back. I got
laid three times before I came up
here this morning and I can still
break your ass.
JOEY fights back, but it's no use.
JOEY
You cocksucker.
JAKE laughs. The two continue to swing it out, as SALVY
watches unseen from the doorway.
EXT. SHOREHAVEN POOL - DAY (1942-43)
The Shorehaven Pool, spic-and-span in the summer sun is the
closest thing to a country club in the Bronx. An eight foot
fence stands between the pool and the street.
JAKE, wearing slacks and a sportshirt, hangs out with the
"BOYS" near the bar area. Older, "MADE" MEN play cards. A
young FAN walks by and says:
FAN
Hey, Jake.
At the opposite end of the pool where the GIRLS gossip, and
sunbathe, JOEY swaps small talk with VICKIE, a school girl,
about 15. VICKIE is a knockout.
SALVY, FRANKIE and JUNIOR are with VICKIE and her FRIENDS.
They joke with JOEY.
JAKE watches SALVY and VICKIE.
JAKE'S P.O.V.: JOEY is talking (PAN) to VICKIE. VICKIE
giggles. JOEY stands and walks over to JAKE.
JAKE
(referring to Vickie)
Who's that?
JOEY
Whadda you care?
JAKE
Whadda ya mean, whadda I care? Who
is she? What's a matter? You afraid
I'm gonna take her on you?
JOEY
No, I'm not afraid. Why? You wanna
meet her?
JAKE
Yeah --
JOEY
Cause I'll go right over there and
bring her here.
JAKE
Go 'head.
JOEY
You sure you wanna meet her? Don't
make me go over there, you change
your mind and you make me look bad,
cause she's really a knockout.
She's 15, this kid -- a great piece
of ass.
JAKE
How do you know? You know her that
good?
JOEY
No, I see her around the pool. I
know her. I know her like that --
not like that.
JAKE
(gesturing to his bandage)
Nah, not now... I wanna wait. I
don't feel right...
JAKE watches VICKIE.
INT. JAKE AND IRMA'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - LATE NIGHT
JOEY
(to Jake)
I'm tellin' you, she'll be there, I
know she'll be there.
JAKE
'Cause I wanna catch her alone.
JOEY
How you gonna catch anybody alone
at a dance?... I don't know if
she'll be there alone... She'll
probably be there with her
girlfriends or something.
JAKE
She ever go with them? Like Salvy?
JOEY
Nah, she don't go with nobody.
She's only 15 years old.
JAKE
What does that have to do with it?
She don't look 15 to me. I heard
somethin' with Salvy. She was with
him once or somethin', I think. It
was like some blonde. That's the
one...
JOEY
Probably. You know she talks to
everybody, and not just him.
JAKE
Yeah, she's nice.
JOEY
Ah, some piece of ass, I'm tellin'
you.
JAKE
You wasn't with her, were you?
JOEY
Huh?
JAKE
You wasn't with her?
JOEY
With her? How?
JAKE
You know, like bang her or
anything?
JOEY
Ah, no, no. I didn't bang her. I
know her from around here, that's
all. You want to meet her or what?
JAKE
Nah, not now -- all those hard-ons
around. I'll wait. Not now.
The scene ends on VICKIE as JAKE watches her.
INT. JAKE AND IRMA'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - LATE NIGHT
JOEY
(to Jake)
I'm tellin' you, she'll be there, I
know she'll be there. Dressed up
and everything.
JAKE
I don't like all those other clowns
around. That's all I know.
JOEY
C'mon, hurry up. We're never gonna
get outa here tonight.
JOEY sips a drink as JAKE knots his tie. IRMA enters from the
bedroom.
IRMA
Where you going at this hour?
JAKE
What're you, a cop? I'm goin' out --
business.
IRMA
You fuckin' worm, if you're going
out, I'm going out.
JAKE
And where you goin'?
IRMA
None of your fuckin' business.
JOEY lifts his eyes up.
JAKE
Eh, go out. Do what you're gonna
do. What do I care?
JOEY opens the door to leave. JAKE follows.
IRMA
That's right -- run out. I ain't
gonna be here when you get back.
INT. JAKE AND IRMA'S APT. BUILDING - HALLWAY - LATE NIGHT
JAKE and JOEY hurry down the stairs. IRMA shouts after them.
IRMA
Bunch of guys. You all hang out
together. Yeah, you're all going
out on business. You're all gonna
suck each other off.
INT. JAKE AND IRMA'S BUILDING - GROUND FLOOR - LATE NIGHT
JOEY
What a mouth on her -- you shoulda
hit her -- no good fuckin' Jewish
cunt -- breakin' our balls. You
shoulda hit her with a chair.
JAKE
Hey, watch your mouth. Don't talk
like that. She's still my wife.
JOEY
No, but Jake... how much abuse can
you take.
JAKE
(interrupting)
How many times do I have to hit
her? I hit her enough.
They exit to street.
EXT. JAKE AND IRMA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - STREET - LATE NIGHT
JOEY and JAKE come out of the building and start walking down
the street.
IRMA opens the window on the second floor right above them,
and shouts out to them:
IRMA
Go ahead -- that's all you're good
for -- to go out and leave me here
like a dog. You and your brother!
You don't even look like brothers.
You look like faggots! That's what
you look like -- faggots!
JAKE and JOEY walk faster down the block, pretending that
IRMA must be shouting at someone else.
She throws a bottle at them. It smashes in the street.
EXT. WEBSTER HALL - NIGHT (AN HOUR LATER)
ESTABLISHING SHOT.
INT. WEBSTER HALL - NIGHT
A neighborhood dance is in progress. A small BAND is playing
while mainly OLDER COUPLES dance. There are TWO PRIESTS
present. The younger people are divided into two groups --
the BOYS, who are dressed in suits and ties, and spend most
of their time at the bar area -- and the GIRLS, who are in
evening dresses, and spend most of their time dancing
together.
Some of the more popular GIRLS are surrounded by "WISE-GUYS."
There are tables near the dance floor with "set ups" (bottles
of Scotch, rye, and a bucket of ice) on them. These tables
are the "bases of operation" for different neighborhood
groups, as if they were street corners.
JAKE and JOEY are walking toward a table. VERA, a young
neighborhood girl, blocks their way as she bends over to talk
to some GUYS at a table. VERA's well-built, and knows it.
JOEY tries to move one way; VERA again blocks his way. This
little game goes on for a few seconds, then:
JOEY
Look, could you move a little.
Would you mind, darling?
VERA
Mind what, Mr. Big Shot?
JAKE
(annoyed)
Eh, girlie, take a walk.
JAKE starts to move forward; JOEY stops him.
JOEY
(to Vera)
All right, darling, I'll just stand
here and wait.
JOEY cups his hands and grabs VERA's breasts. VERA squeals,
covers her breasts, and moves back. JOEY and JAKE walk past
her. JOEY smiles.
JOEY and JAKE sit down at an empty table.
JAKE
Do you see her yet?
JOEY
Give me a chance. Let me look.
MOVING SHOTS
JAKE tries to find her -- Camera pans until we find her. JOEY
points out a distant table. He spots VICKIE with a couple of
other GIRLS . VICKIE locks beautiful and is obviously having
a good time.
JOEY (CONT'D)
THERE she is over there on the
other side. What did I tell you?
Oh, ain't she nice? Ain't she a
fuckin' doll?
As they watch, WE SEE, from JAKE's POV:
SALVY, FRANKIE, and JUNIOR show up at VICKIE's table. They
are in overcoats and hats and don't sit down. They are
obviously on their way to bigger things than a neighborhood
dance -- and VICKIE and her GIRLFRIENDS are glad to go with
them. They get up to leave.
JAKE
Be right back.
SALVY, FRANKIE, JUNIOR, VTCKIE and the other TWO GIRLS leave
the dance hall. JAKE, unseen, follows them to the entrance
way, as they go out onto the sidewalk.
EXT. WEBSTER HALL - NIGHT
JAKE watches as SALVY ushers everyone into his Cadillac, and
then drives off.
JAKE stares after the car for a moment, then goes back
inside.
EXT. SHOREHAVEN POOL - DAY (1942-43)
JAKE and JOEY get out of their Packard convertible and walk
over to the fence surrounding the pool. VICKIE is by the
pool.
JOEY
(calling out to Vickie)
Hey, Vickie, c'mere. Don't be
afraid. C'mere. Just say hello.
This is my brother.
VICKIE comes over to the fence.
JOEY (CONT'D)
Vickie, I want you to meet my
brother, Jake. He's gonna be the
next champ.
JAKE puts his fingers through the fence.
JAKE
Joey said you wanted to meet me. Is
that right? You wanted to meet me?
VICKIE
(to Joey)
I just wanted to say hello.
JAKE
You wanted to say hello, eh? I
can't believe it. When did you fall
outa heaven? Anyone ever tell you
you're the most beautiful one here,
princess of the pool. You got a
baby face. Look at mine. Whatcha
wanna meet me for?
VICKIE
I don't know. 'Cause you're cute.
JAKE
(to Joey)
Ya hear, Joey? She thinks this face
is cute? Hey, whatcha doin' now?
You wanna go for a ride?
PAN to car.
VICKIE
Sure. Gimme a few minutes.
She starts to go.
JAKE
Hey...
She turns. JAKE kisses his hand and holds it up to the fence
by her lips.
EXT. SHORE ROAD - DAY
JAKE drives his Packard convertible down Shore Road. VICKIE
sits in the passenger seat, her blonde hair blowing in the
wind. VICKIE feels JAKE's eyes all over her, and loves it.
On the radio, Bing Crosby sings "Just One More Charce."
EXT. MINIATURE GOLF COURSE - DAY
JAKE parks across the street from the new miniature golf
course on Shore Road. The Shore Road course is one of the
best. The first green features a pink windmill.
JAKE and VICKIE get out to cross the street.
VICKIE
You don't talk very much.
JAKE
I ain't ever talked to a movie star
before.
VICKIE
(giggles)
I ain't no movie star. I'm just in
high school.
JAKE
Oh no? I thought you was a movie
star.
A bus heads toward them.
VICKIE
Jake! The bus!
JAKE holds up his hand.
JAKE
Any bus gives you trouble, I knock
it out for ya.
The bus stops for them as they cross the street.
EXT. THE FIRST GREEN - DAY
JAKE sets VICKIE's ball on the tee facing the windmill.
VICKIE
You go first. Let me watch how to
do this.
JAKE
You don't get nothin' done by
watchin'. You just gotta do it.
Here, I'll help you.
JAKE hands VICKIE the putter, then moves behind her and puts
her hand on the club.
JAKE (CONT'D)
That's it. Just grip up a little
tighter. That's it. You're gonna be
real good at this. How does that
feel?
VICKIE
It feels real good.
JAKE
Just keep your eye on the ball.
VICKIE
Should I hit it?
JAKE
Just give it a nice little tap.
VICKIE swings and the ball rolls into the center of the
windmill. VICKIE breaks free and follows her ball. JAKE
follows.
VICKIE
I can't find my ball.
JAKE
Can you see it?
VICKIE bends and looks under the windmill.
VICKIE
No.
JAKE bends and looks.
VICKIE (CONT'D)
Can you see it?
JAKE
No.
VICKIE
What does that mean?
JAKE takes VICKIE by the arm.
JAKE
It means the game is over.
JAKE throws his putter on the next green.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Let's get outa here.
EXT. ARTHUR AVENUE APARTMENT BUILDING - BRONX - DAY
JAKE and VICKIE pull up to a tenement.
JAKE dashes around the car to open the door for VICKIE.
They enter the building.
INT. ARTHUR AVENUE APARTMENT - DAY
JOSEPH LAMOTTA, SR. is finishing his Sunday dinner with a
glass of wine as JAKE and VICKIE enter.
JAKE
Hi Pop. This is my new girlfriend,
Vickie. V for victory. How do you
like that Pop?
JOE LAMOTTA
V for victory.
VICKIE
(nervous)
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
LaMotta.
JOE LAMOTTA
(in Italian)
Sit down. Eat something.
JAKE is anxious. VICKIE is scared.
JAKE
C'mon, Pop. You've been in America
so many years. Speak English.
JOE LAMOTTA
(joking)
You want me to speak English --
Fuck you. That's English.
JAKE
Pop, don't curse. There's a girl
here. I'm gonna show her around the
house. Why don't you just finish
your wine?
JOE stares at him. JAKE grasps VICKIE's arm firmly.
INT. ARTHUR AVENUE APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY
The bedroom is a few rooms away from the kitchen. JAKE closes
the door. (There is a warm light in the bedroom.)
VICKIE
Jake, this is your father's
bedroom.
JAKE
That's all right. He don't mind.
The room is sparsely furnished. On the bureau, there is a
large framed photo of the boxing brothers: JAKE and JOEY
LAMOTTA. (JOEY wears a suit in the picture.)
JAKE puts VICKIE on the bed and removes his jacket and tie.
VICKIE
Jake...
JAKE
It's OK.
He pushes her against the bed and gently undresses her. They
make love.
INT. OLYMPIA STADIUM - DETROIT (FEB. 5, 1943)
JAKE is fighting SUGAR RAY ROBINSON. (It's their 2nd match.)
WE SEE highlights of the fight: JAKE is fighting ferociously,
but SUGAR RAY is a formidable opponent. AN ANNOUNCER'S VOICE
gives a blow by blow description. JAKE takes a lot of
punishment from SUGAR RAY -- until the 8th round. Then, JAKE
nails SUGAR RAY with a savage left. JAKE chases SUGAR RAY and
pounds him with a left and a right. SUGAR RAY gets in a right
cross. They stand toe to toe, fighting. Then, JAKE lands a
left to SUGAR RAY's stomach, and knocks him through the
ropes. JAKE goes after SUGAR RAY, but the REFEREE stops him.
SUGAR RAY gets back into the ring and sinks to one knee,
while the REFEREE counts to 9. The bell sounds.
TIME CUT: THE ANNOUNCER calls out that JAKE is the winner.
JAKE throws kisses. The CROWD goes wild.
INT. GLEASON'S - DAY (1943)
JAKE's press conference.
FIVE REPORTERS meander around the gym, waiting for JAKE to
finish sparring. They are not thrilled with their assignment.
JAKE is not thrilled with having them there.
The gallery is spotted with the usual BRONX TYPES. The lone
exception is VICKIE, dressed very well, very sensual, and
quite content to watch JAKE make his SPARRING PARTNERS' lives
miserable, despite their head and belly protectors.
JOEY is off in one of the corners arguing with ONE of the
REPORTERS:
JOEY
The fuckin' papers are full of
Robinson and nothing on Jake -- and
Jake knocked him clear outa the
ring in Detroit. He's the only guy
ever to beat Robinson. Whatsa
matter with you? I thought we had
an arrangement.
REPORTER
We do Joey. You know we do.
JOEY
You holding me up for more cash or
what?
The bell sounds, ending the sparring round.
REPORTER
I can't print nothing if Jake won't
give me nothing.
JOEY walks over to the ring. The REPORTER follows not far
behind.
JOEY
C'mon, Jake. You're makin' us look
stupid. I brought these guys up
here, now you don't wanna talk to
them? What are ya doin'? Open your
mouth, for Christsake.
JAKE nods his head, steps out of the ring, and goes directly
over to the REPORTER, who is about to say: "Hi, Jake."
JAKE
(interrupting)
I'm tallin' you now, when I read
this, it better not make me look
bad.
REPORTER
Jake, did I ever make you look bad
before?
JAKE
Maybe it wasn't you, but you know
what I'm talkin' about.
JOEY
(interrupting)
Don't worry. Don't worry. It's
gonna be all right.
(to reporter)
Ask him your questions.
REPORTER
All right, Jake, you're being
talked about as the top
middleweight contender. Do you
think another victory over Sugar
Ray will get you a shot at the
title?
JAKE
Why not? There's nobody else around
who wants to fight me; they're all
afraid. I don't see why I shouldn't
have a shot at the title right now.
REPORTER
Well, the word is to get a title
shot you have to cooperate with the
people who control boxing, in New
York. And they're saying that you
don't cooperate.
JAKE
You guys know more about that than
I do. I just fight...
JOEY
(interrupting)
He fights the toughest guys around
that everybody else is afraid to
fight...
JAKE
(interrupting)
I'm the only guy ever to beat Sugar
Ray, and I still don't have a shot
at the title.
REPORTER
You just fought Sugar Ray two weeks
ago and you're training like this
right now... Are you afraid Sugar
Ray might beat you this time?
JAKE
I tell you what. You hit me here.
(points to his right
cheek)
Sugar Ray hits me here.
(points to his left cheek)
I can't tell the difference. I just
fight.
JAKE turns to VICKIE, smiles, and prepares for his next
SPARRING PARTNER.
INT. ARTHUR AVENUE APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY (FEB. 1943)
JAKE, wearing pleated dress slacks, sits on the edge of the
bed examining his muscle tone.
He studies his small fists. Squeezes each knuckle. Twists his
wrists. Clenches. Unclenches.
VICKIE steps out of the bathroom wearing a nightie and
panties.
VICKIE
Are you sure we should be doing
this?
JAKE
Come over here.
VICKIE
You said never to touch you before
a fight.
JAKE
(lovingly)
If you let me do it, I'll murder
you. Come here.
VICKIE
You said I couldn't. You've been
good for two weeks...
JAKE
Come here.
JAKE watches VICKIE approach him. He respects her as he would
a shrine; he slowly removes her sheer nightie.
His round hands caress her smooth skin. He glides his bruised
knuckles across her shoulders, pride on his face.
She kisses his bruised knuckles sensuously, then his bruised
face.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Take off my pants.
VICKIE
Jake...
JAKE
Do what I say.
He touches her breasts as she removes his trousers.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Now take the rest off.
VICKIE
Jake, you made me promise not to
get you excited.
JAKE
Go 'head. Do it.
She pulls off his shorts. VICKIE is now getting excited. She
kisses his chest and licks it.
VICKIE
I like the gym smell.
JAKE
Now take your panties off.
She does.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Now, touch me...
(takes her hand)
... here.
VICKIE
Oh, Jake.
She caresses his broad shoulders and runs her hand along his
erection.
JAKE's lips are trembling. He quickly turns his back on
VICKIE, goes into the bathroom, and gets a full glass of cold
water.
VICKIE watches as he puts his erection in the glass of cold
water. She is shocked and surprised.
JAKE
I can't do it. I can't fool around.
This Robinson, I gotta beat him
again. I can't fool around. Don't
come near me.
JAKE grabs her again and kisses her. Then, gently but firmly,
he turns her around and pushes her out. (It's starting again,
and he must stop it.) He goes back the bathroom and closes
the door.
INT. OLYMPIC STADIUM - DETROIT (FEB. 26, 1943)
This is JAKE's rematch with SUGAR RAY (their 3rd fight). AN
ANNOUNCER's VOICE gives a blow by blow description.
THE FOURTH ROUND: JAKE is in serious trouble. SUGAR RAY
knocks him with a hard right, then a series of rights and
lefts. JAKE is punched all the way across the ring, but stays
in there.
THE SEVENTH ROUND: JAKE, coming on strong, forces SUGAR RAY
into his own corner, then lands a left hook to his chin.
SUGAR RAY drops, and takes a nine count. This time, however,
the blow does not have a crippling effect on SUGAR RAY;
instead, he comes back and outboxes JAKE.
TIME CUT: THE ANNOUNCER calls out the decision: SUGAR RAY is
the winner. JAKE is stunned. The CROWD boos so loud and for
so long that THE ANNOUNCER is unable to introduce the
fighters in the next bout.
INT. OLYMPIA STADIUM - DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
JOEY and TONY are in the dressing room. JAKE sits on the
table, dejected. His hand is being examined by a DOCTOR. TWO
HANGERS-ON are also present.
JOEY
(angry)
They robbed us! Those fuckin'
judges -- What the fuck fight were
they watching? If I see them on the
street, I'll break their heads.
Decision Robinson, my fuckin' ass!
Those judges give him the decision
'cause he's goin in the army next
week! How else could this have
happened?... What do you think they
gave him the decision for, that's
why.
JAKE
(almost to himself)
Whadda I gotta do, Joey? I knocked
him down. What did I do wrong? I
don't understand.
JOEY
You won and was robbed! You didn't
do nothin' wrong.
JAKE
I dunno. Maybe I don't deserve to
win. I've done a lot of bad things.
I dunno...
TONY goes to the door.
JOYE
Fuck that. This was the fight. This
coulda done it. This was our shot.
They out and out robbed us.
MARIO comes back from the door.
MARIO
Vickie is here, Jake.
JAKE
I don't wanna see nobody.
JOEY
You want us to wait for you?
JAKE
No, take her home. I wanna be alone
for a while. Everybody go.
They exit.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. BATHROOM NEAR THE DRESSING ROOM
JAKE, now alone, goes into the bathroom. He looks in the
bathroom mirror. After a pauseg, he touches his newly
acquired bruises and bandages. He combs his hair.
We hear the beginning of an early Frank Sinatra song. This
song carries over onto the following MONTAGE.
MONTAGE
This MONTAGE covers the period between 1943 and early 1947.
It shows JAKE hard at work fighting all the tough guys he
can. Each of the fights will be introduced by the
corresponding title card from the "Big Fights" film showing a
boxing glove with the fighters' names and the places of the
fights superimposed on it. The actual fight images will be
black and white newspaper photos JUMP CUT together to
simulate real action. For example: In still #1 JAKE is about
to land a punch on an OPPONENT.
CUT TO:
Still #2, and the punch lands, distorting the OPPONENT's
face, sweat spraying out everywhere. Live sound effects
accompany these stills.
The fight stills are INTERCUT with 16mm black and white home
movies of JAKE, VICKIE, JOEY, etc. (to be shot in 16mm black
and white).
It'll go something like this:
A) JAKE VS. FRITZIE ZIVIC at the Detroit Olympia (January 14,
1944)
B) JAKE, VICKIE, and JOEY, wearing sunglasses, pose in front
of a Cadillac. (1944)
C) JAKE VS. SUGAR RAY ROBINSON at Madison Square Garden
(February 23, 1945)
D) JAKE and VICKIE getting married. (This will be a black and
white still photo, posed especially for the occasion.) (1945,
New Jersey courthouse)
E) JAKE VS. SUGAR RAY ROBINSON at Comiskey Park, Chicago
(September 26, 1945)
F) JAKE and VICKIE on vacation -- very loving. They are
dancing, and he allows her to knock him into the pool. Then,
JAKE gives VICKIE a present by the poolside. She opens the
box and takes out a white garment and turban. She kisses
JAKE.
CUT TO:
VICKIE dressed in the outfit. She looks very much like Lana
Turner in "The Postman Always Rings Twice." She kisses JAKE.
(1946)
G) JAKE VS. JIMMY EDGAR at Detroit (The University of Detroit
Stadium) (June 12, 1946)
H) JOEY's marriage. JAKE and VICKIE are there as witnesses.
(Could also be a still photo as D was.) (1946)
I) JAKE VS. BOB SATTERFIELD at Wrigley Field, Chicago
(September 12, 1946)
J) JAKE and VICKIE in front of their new Pelham Parkway
house. It is an affluent, split-level house, an idyllic scene
-- stone terrace, freshly cut lawn, etc. JAKE carries VICKIE
inside.
CUT TO:
JAKE and VICKIE with their two boys JACK, age 2, and JOEY,
age 1 in the backyard of the Pelham Parkway house; they are
having a cookout. JOEY and his WIFE and their two children (a
BOY and a GIRL about the same ages as JAKE's) are there also.
(1947)
K) JAKE VS. TOMMY BELL at Madison Square Garden (March 14,
1947)
INT. PELHAM PARKWAY HOUSE (1947)
WE SEE an early model, round screen television. Nearby an old
radio. On it, Sinatra is finishing the song we heard in the
preceding montage.
JAKE enters, and turns down the volume on the radio. WE SEE
JAKE's living room; it is late forties modern.
JOEY and VICKIE are seated around the coffee table, which is
near the television. There are some remnants of a snack on
the table. JAKE's TWO BOYS are playing nearby.
JAKE
(to Joey as he turns down
the radio)
I just weighed myself - I'm 161. No
more deals like this Janiro
bullshit. I didn't tell you to do
it in the first place.
JOEY
Jake, you're the one who said you
could get down to 155! What did I
do, pull it out of the fuckin' hat?
JAKE
(angry)
Well, sometimes you shouldn't
listen to me! Now I don't know if I
can make it down to 155. I'm having
trouble making 160, and without
telling me, you sign me for a fight
at 155 pounds, and if I don't make
155, I forfeit $15,000! You're
supposed to know what you're doin'.
You're supposed to be a manager!
JOEY
You want the title shot?
JAKE
Say what you're gonna say.
JOEY
You want the title shot or not?
JAKE
Say what you gotta say. Don't be a
smart ass.
JOEY
(yelling)
This Janiro's an up-and-coming
fighter, this kid you gotta knock
out. Knockout this fuckin' kid! I'm
telling you, this is your step
towards getting a shot at the
title. Listen to me: I'm telling
you. You been killin' yourself for
three years. There's nobody left --
they're afraid to fight you.
This Janiro's up-and-coming. He
don't know. Fuckin' tear him apart,
wipe him out! What are you worried
about? Your weight? Look, even if
you lose they're gonna think you're
weak; they're gonna think you're
not the fighter you used to be.
They'll match you with guys they
were afraid to match you with
before, and then you'll kill them
and you'll get your title shot. And
if you beat this kid Janiro, they
gotta give you a shot at the title
because there's nobody else. Either
way you win and you do it on your
own -- just like you want it. All
right?
VICKIE
Joey's right. Janiro's up-and
coming, he's good looking...
JAKE
(interrupting)
What do you mean, "good looking?"
VICKIE
Well, he's popular. A lotta people
like Janiro. You beat him and it
only figures they'll wanna see you
get a title shot. But, what do I
know? I should keep my mouth shut,
I should...
JAKE
(interrupting)
Who asked you?
VICKIE
But, Jake, I was just...
JAKE
(interrupting)
Who asked you?
VICKIE
I was just...
JAKE
(interrupting)
Who asked you?
VICKIE, amazed, gets up to leave.
JAKE glares at her.
VICKIE rounds up the kids and takes them into the kitchen.
(MOVING SHOT).
WE SEE VICKIE in the kitchen angrily throwing things around.
We clearly see the tension as she cleans up, muttering to
herself.
JAKE (CONT'D)
(turns to Joey)
All right, manager. Everybody had
their say around here. Now this is
what I'm gonna say. I'm gonna get
down to 155, and I'm gonna destroy
this kid -- get my title shot. And
don't ever bet 15 thousand without
my sayso again.
JAKE comes into the kitchen. He tries to make up with VICKIE.
She plays hard-to-get. They begin to tease each other.
INT. COPACABANA LOUNGE - NIGHT (1947)
A COMEDIAN is in the middle of his act. JAKE, VICKIE, JOEY,
and JANET sit at a nearby table. JANET, an attractive blonde,
is are of JOEY's girlfriends; the moment you set eyes on her,
you know this is not his wife.
The lounge is very crowded. The COMEDIAN interrupts his
routine to point out that JAKE LAMOTTA is in the audience,
and even tries a little harmless joking at JAKE's expense.
COMEDIAN
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to
point out a special guest we have
with us tonight -- The Raging Bull,
The Bronx Bull, Mr. Jake LaMotta.
There is applause. JAKE smiles, and gives a hesitant wave.
COMEDIAN (CONT'D)
Stand up, Jake, c'mon. Oh, you are
standing. Sorry.
(laughs)
Just kiddin', Jake.
JAKE waves a fist at the COMEDIAN, good-naturedly playing
along with the joke -- even though he hates it.
JAKE
(to Joey)
Look at this abuse I gotta take.
JOEY, VICKIE, and JANET are amused.
JAKE (CONT'D)
(joking)
What's so funny?
(lifting his glass)
Cheers! Post-time. Joey, Vickie,
and...
(to Janet)
What's your name again, darling?
JANET
Janet.
JAKE Smiles. They all drink.
SALVY, a little older, but still young-looking, and dressed
even better than when we last saw him (flashy rings, etc.),
comes over to their table. He walks around like he owns the
fucking place. JAKE hates it.
SALVY
Hi, Joey. Jake, how you doin'?
Vickie...
They respond. JAKE is cold towards SALVY.
SALVY goes on his way to COMO's table.
As SALVY walks away, JAKE turns to VICKIE.
JAKE
What're you lookin' at? You lookin'
at him?
VICKIE
No, I'm not. I'm looking at you.
JAKE
Don't tell me "No." I saw you
lookin' at him. Why, you like him?
VICKIE
I'm not interested in him.
JAKE
You're not interested in him?
VICKIE
No, I'm not.
JAKE
In other words, you're not
interested in him but you'd be
interested in somebody else, right?
VICKIE
Jake, c'mon now. Don't start.
JAKE
(turns to Joey, referring
to Salvy)
Look at this, all of a sudden
everybody's a fuckin' Romeo around
here. Did you see the way she was
lookin' at him?
JOEY
Nah, she would never...
JAKE
(interrupting)
Didn't you just see her lookin' at
him? She told me no, but I don't
believe her.
JOEY
(uncomfortable)
C'mon, Jake. You know she's crazy
about you.
JAKE gives him a suspicious look. JOEY feels uneasy.
JAKE
I'd just love to catch her. Oooooh,
I'd just love to catch her once.
Drinks arrive at their table.
WAITER
These are from Tommy Como.
JAKE looks up but can't see where COMO is. JOEY gets up.
JOEY
(to Jake)
Excuse me for a minute. Be right
back.
JAKE
(sarcastic)
Don't be long. I'm afraid with all
these tough guys here.
JOEY goes to COMO's table in the rear of the lounge. JAKE
slides over and watches. JOEY shakes hands with COMO. SALVY
is there at COMO's table. JOEY comes right back.
JOEY
Jake, come over for a few minutes.
Tommy wants to say hello to you.
C'mon, just come and say hello.
JAKE doesn't like the idea, but goes along with it anyway.
ANOTHER ANGLE: COMO's table. JAKE comes over.
JAKE
Hi, Tommy. How are you?
TOMMY
Jake, sit down for a minute.
JAKE sits. SALVY smiles and nods to JAKE. JAKE barely nods
back.
TOMMY (CONT'D)
(his arm around Jake)
Fuckin' kid! You're the best
fuckin' fighter around. Loved what
you did to Satterfield. Them
"moulan yans" -- forget about it.
They're all afraid to fight you.
JAKE
(a little embarrassed)
C'mon, Tommy --
TOMMY
How you feelin'? Ok? You feelin'
good?
JAKE
Never felt better.
TOMMY
Tony Janiro's gotta watch out, eh?
JAKE
He should.
TOMMY
(to Salvy)
This Janiro's a good fiahter,
pretty good-lookin' kid.
SALVY
Bet on him three times. Always come
through for me.
JAKE just stares, holding his anger in.
There is a pause.
TOMMY
How's the weight? Ok?
JAKE
Yeah, the weight's Ok.
Another pause. TOMMY smiles and moves closer to JAKE.
TOMMY
All right, lemme ask you something.
Let's say I was a good friend of
yours. And I was telling you I was
gonna bet a lot of money on you in
this Janiro fight. What would you
tell me?
JAKE
I'd tell you to bet a bundle.
TOMMY sips his drink.
INT. PELHAM PARKWAY HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT
VICKIE is in bed trying to sleep. JAKE comes out of the
bathroom half-dressed, and sits on the edge of the bed
(preoccupied). Silence.
JAKE
Vickie?... Vickie, you asleep?
VICKIE
What?
JAKE
You asleep?
VICKIE
Yeah.
JAKE
Huh?
VICKIE
Yeah, what?
JAKE
Tell me, you think of anybody else
when I'm making love to you?
VICKIE
Nobody. I love you, remember?
JAKE
Then why'd you say that thing about
Tony Janiro?
VICKIE
What did I say?
JAKE
That he's got a pretty face.
VICKIE
I never noticed his face.
JAKE
You sure you're not thinking of him
right now?
VICKIE
Positive.
JAKE
You're the one who said he was good
looking. You think he's good
looking 'cause I know you think
he's good-looking. I'll smash his
face inside out. I'll make him into
dog meat. Nobody's gonna think he's
good-looking when I get through
with him. So you just go ahead and
think about who you want.
VICKIE freezes.
INT. WORTH STREET BASEMENT - DAY
TONY JANIRO, wearing boxer trunks, steps off the scale.
Commissioner COL. EDDIE EAGAN, a white-haired, heavyset man
in his mid-forties, calls out the weight.
The basement of the New York Boxing Commission on Worth
Street is a sparse room, crowded with REPORTERS, TRAINERS and
MANAGERS.
EAGAN
Tony Janiro, 151 lbs. and one half.
JAKE steps on the scale. He looks weak and woozy. After the
customary adjustments, EAGAN calls out:
EAGAN (CONT'D)
Jake LaMotta, 155 lbs. and one
fourth.
There's a commotion in JAKE's camp. JANIRO smiles.
JAKE
Just a minute.
JAKE, JOEY, and TONY confer.
JAKE gets off the scale and enters the men's room. An
OFFICIAL follows him.
INT. THE MEN'S ROOM
JAKE forces himself to urinate.
INT. WORTH STREET BASEMENT
JAKE comes out of the bathroom, and gets back on the scale.
EAGAN
Ok. This is official.
LAMOTTA stares at JANIRO.
EAGAN (CONT'D)
LaMotta, 155 lbs. on the nose.
JAKE throws JANIRO a kiss.
INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - NIGHT
It's the last round and JAKE is pouring it on a beaten and
virtually helpless JANIRO.
The CROWD chants:
CROWD
LaMotta.
HALF THE AUDIENCE is already on its feet. The kill is
imminent -- and they love it.
JAKE lands one blow after another. He is relentless.
Several rows back, TOMMY COMO, SALVY and SEVERAL OTHER "MADE"
GUYS sit with sober looks on their faces.
JAKE moves in fast, and with a powerful barrage, smashes
JANIRO's nose -- plastering it against his left cheek.
The final bell rings. JANIRO, his legs all rubber, staggers
back to his corner.
JAKE prances about, kissing his fists and throwing them to
the CROWD. JOEY rushes out, throws JAKE's leopard skin robe
over him and embraces him. TONY follows. JAKE looks right at
COMO and SALVY.
AN ANNOUNCER steps into the center of the ring:
ANNOUNCER
The winner, by unanimous decision,
in ten rounds, Jake LaMotta!
JOEY
I love you.
JAKE, weak from losing the weight and winning the fight,
still manages to prance around the ring victoriously.
VICKIE, now near the ring, throws kisses to JAKE.
JAKE
(shouts to Vickie)
This is my night! Listen to them!
I'm gonna be champ!
He bends down and gives her a kiss through the ropes.
JAKE (CONT'D)
I'm making everything up to you.
INT. COPACABANA - NIGHT (1947)
JOEY is at the bar with a DETROIT PROMOTER and JACKIE CURTIE.
DETROIT PROMOTER
When we gonna get Jake back in
Detroit? Jesus, he really did a job
on Janiro. Who you after next,
Joey?
JOEY
(evasive)
I dunno. We're working on it. He's
training at the camp now.
JACKIE CURTIE
After what I seen, they gotta give
him a shot at the title.
JOEY
We're gonna get our shot.
The DETROIT PROMOTER introduces JOEY to JACKIE CURTIE.
DETROIT PROMOTER
Oh Joey, this is Jackie Curtie. He
handles a lot of business in South
Ohio.
JACKIE CURTIE
I like your brother. Made a lot of
money on him.
JOEY
Betcha more than he has.
JACKIE CURTIE
Made a little cabbage on the Tommy
Bell fight too. Whatever happened
to him?
JOEY
Ain't he dead?
DETROIT PROMOTER
Nah. He's got a job downtown. Runs
an elevator in some building.
JOEY
Yeah?
DETROIT PROMOTER
Went down to see him the other day.
I says, "Tommy, take me up to the
fifth floor." And you know, he took
me right up there.
JACKIE CURTIE
Yeah, Tommy always was a stand-up
guy.
SALVY and PATSY arrive with VERA, SANDY (two neighborhood
girls), and VICKIE. They go to a nearby table.
The bar area: JOEY sees this.
DETROIT PROMOTER
Joey, let me get you another drink.
JOEY
(distracted)
Just a minute. Excuse me. I'll be
right back.
The table area: JOEY arrives at SALVY's table. VICKIE is
nervous. There is a cold exchange of'"hellos."
JOEY (CONT'D)
(to Vickie)
C'mere, let me talk to you for a
minute.
There is an awkward silence as he grabs VICKIE by the arm and
takes her over to the hat-check area.
JOEY (CONT'D)
What're you doin' with Salvy? You
shouldn't be here with him. Jake's
away killin' himself. Suppose he
found out.
VICKIE
What the hell am I doing wrong?
Just because Jake is training, I
can't go out? What am I, a goddamn
prisoner?
JOEY
No, you're his wife.
VICKIE
I'm not doing anythina wrong. I'm
just trying to have a good time. Do
I have to be cooped up in the house
all the time?
JOEY
It don't look right.
VICKIE
Well, go ahead, tell Jake. He's
gonna kill me anyway. It's a matter
of time.
JOEY
I'm not gonna tell him nothing; but
if he finds out, he will kill you.
What's the matter with you? Aren't
you happy? You got everything you
want.
VICKIE
You don't sleep with him. I do. I
don't get to breathe without
tellin' him. He keeps me in a cage.
If he thinks I'm lookin' at
somebody the wrong way, I get used
as a punching bag. He don't trust
nobody. If he saw the two of us
talking together right now, you'd
be in trouble too -- believe me.
Look at me, Joey. I'm 19 years old.
I wanna enjoy my life. I love Jake,
but you don't know. He gets crazy
sometimes. I'm scared.
JOEY
Try to understand, Vickie. Jake's
got a lotta aggravation. He's been
a top contender too long.
VICKIE
That's right, take his part. You're
his brother. He's never gonna be
champ. Too many people are against
him.
JOEY
And you're drinking with them right
now.
VICKIE
And I'm gonna finish my drink. And,
I'm gonna have a good time, because
I ain't doing nothing wrong.
She starts to go back to the table.
JOEY
(grabbing her)
You're wrong to be here. Let's go.
VICKIE pulls away from JOEY, and goes back to the table.
The table area: JOEY arrives at the table. He grabs VICKIE.
JOEY (CONT'D)
I said, let's go.
SALVY
Joey, relax. You're taking this the
wrong way. Why don't you sit down
and have a drink?
JOEY
Excuse me, I'm talking to my sister
in-law.
SALVY
Excuse me for living.
JOEY
What do you think, I'm blind? My
brother's breaking his ass in a
ring, and you're here with his
wife.
SALVY
Hey Joey, I'm here with Patsy and
Vera and Sandy. And Vickie just
happened to come along. We're just
trying to have a good time. What do
you want from me? So, why don't you
just take it easy before this gets
out of hand.
As the conversation gets louder, PEOPLE begin to notice.
PAUL, the owner (a tough-looking, well-dressed guy), and some
BOUNCERS also become aware of the argument.
JOEY
Get the fuck outa here. What did
you do, take your gangster pills
today? I'll tear your fuckin' head
off your shoulders!
JOEY goes for SALVY. PEOPLE react.
The GIRLS begin to scream. VICKIE exits. JOEY notices her
leave, and calls after her.
JOEY (CONT'D)
Hey, wait --
PAUL comes over and stops the fight.
PAUL
Ain't you forgettin' something?
Ain't there never supposed to be no
trouble in this joint?
SALVY and JOEY give each other looks. JOEY goes out after
VICKIE.
EXT. COPACABANA - NIGHT
JOEY looks up the street for VICKIE. She is gone.
SALVY and PATSY come out of the entrance.
SALVY
Hey Joey, whadda ya lookin' to die
young?
JOEY
(as he turns and lashes
into Salvy and Patsy)
I'll suck your eyes out! I'll
fuckin' take the two of you.
After a few moments, PAUL and the BOUNCERS from the Copa come
out. The BOUNCERS pull PATSY away. They try to separate SALVY
and JOEY, but can't.
JOEY savagely beats SALVY on the Copa steps and in the street
against the parked cars.
JOEY (CONT'D)
Fuckin' low-life, cocksucker, etc.
...
SALVY tries to fight back, but JOEY is too tough for him.
SALVY hits the pavement. JOEY kicks him.
PAUL, PATSY, and the BOUNCERS finally pull JOEY away. PATSY
tries to go after JOEY again, but PAUL stops him.
PATSY
(to Paul)
Don't fuckin' put your hands on me!
You're gonna near about this, Paul.
PAUL
(to Patsy)
Get the fuck outa here. Don't come
in my place and start fuckin'
trouble -- I don't care who you
are!
(to Joey)
Get outa here. Go on.
JOEY looks back at him, and then walks away.
INT. THE BACK ROOM OF THE DEBONAIR SOCIAL CLUB
The room is furnished with a few round tables and some
chairs; it is somewhat reminiscent of an old-fashioned candy
store.
TOMMY COMO, SALVY, PATSY and JOEY are present. SALVY's face
is bruised from the beating JOEY gave him.
COMO
All rightg I don't have to hear any
more. I think I understand what
happened. I understand it was your
brother's wife and there was
probably a misunderstanding. I'm
not sayin' Salvy shouldn't have
acted the way he did. But, Joey,
you don't raise your hands. You
don't do that kind of thing. This
time we forget about it but no more
after this. You understand?
JOEY
Yeah, I understand, Tommy.
COMO
All right, you guys, shake hands.
SALVY, JOEY, and PATSY shake hands.
COMO (CONT'D)
Go 'head. Be friends. That's it.
(to Salvy and Patsy)
All right, lemme be alone with him
for a minute.
SALVY and PATSY exit.
There is a pause.
COMO (CONT'D)
Aside from everything else, your
family all right?
JOEY
Yeah, they're good. They're good,
Tommy.
COMO
What is it with you? Can't you
talk? You got like a funny
attitude. I can't figure you out,
Joey. What's with you and the quick
answers? You wanna get outa here
fast?
JOEY
Aw, Tommy, c'mon, it ain't that.
COMO
Look Joey, I wanna tell you
something.
Your brother ain't gonna get
nowhere without us -- nowhere. And
I'm tellin' you between the two of
us, it's gettin' to the point where
it's gettin' to be a real
embarrassment to me, a real
embarrassment.
JOEY
How can he embarrass you?
COMO
He's an embarrassment because
Frankie and the other guys are
expectin' me to do something about
it, and I'm lookin' very bad. I
can't deliver a kid from my own
neighborhood. Why's he make it so
hard on himself? He comes to me, I
can make it easier for him.
JOEY
Tommy, Jake respects you. He won't
even say hello to anybody else --
you know that. But you know when
Jake gets set on somethin', Jesus
Christ Almighty could get off the
fuckin' cross and he ain't gonna
talk him out of it. I'm his kid
brother. I got no say with Jake on
this. He thinks he can buck
everybody and make it on his own.
COMO
Make it on his own? Does he know
the kind of money involved? I mean
the real money. He thinks he's
gonna become champ on his own?
We're gonna sit by and see some nut
come in there and hold one of the
most important titles in the world?
A nut who don't listen to nobody or
respect nobody? Is he really crazy?
Listen, Joey, you understand, you
tell him. I don't care how great he
is or how colorful. He could beat
all the Sugar Ray Robinsons and all
the Janiros he wants to. He ain't
gonna get a shot at the title
without us. I'm not askin' you to
do another thing except get that
message into that thick head!
EXT. SHORERAVEN POOL - DAY
Another day. JOEY, fully clothed, opens the gate and looks
around.
JAKE is sitting alone near the deep end. JOEY walks over to
him.
JOEY
Whatcha doin'?
JAKE
I remember the first time I met
Vickie... I know there's somethin'
up. I know she's doin' somethin',
but I can't catch her...
JOEY
Maybe she's afraid you're gonna hit
her so she can't talk to you the
way she wants to.
JAKE
What do you mean?
JOEY
Try talkin' to her. She's your wife
-- ask her what's the matter.
JAKE
When I'm away, did you ever notice
anythin' funny with her? Tell me
the truth.
JOEY
Jack, if there was anything funny,
I would tell you.
JAKE
I want you to keep an eye on her
when I'm not here. Understand?
JOEY
Sure, I'll keep an eye on her.
JAKE
What did Tommy say?
JOEY
I got good news, and I got bad
news. The good news is you got your
shot at the title. The bad news
is...
JAKE
(interrupting, resigned)
Yeah, I know.
INT. WORTH STREET BASEMENT - DAY
As BILLY FOX steps off the scales, EDDIE EAGAN calls out:
EAGAN
Billy Fox, 173 3/4 pounds.
JOEY removes JAKE's leopard-skin robe as he steps on the
scale. The REPORTERS crowd around.
EAGAN (CONT'D)
Jake LaMotta, 167 pounds.
JAKE'S HANDLERS urge him with words of encouragement as they
walk toward his dressing room.
INT. JAKE'S DRESSING ROOM - DAY
EAGAN walks over.
JAKE
What's up, Colonel?
EAGAN
I'd like to talk to Jake a minute.
JOEY
Sure.
EAGAN
I suppose you heard what
everybody's been saying, Jake.
JAKE
What who's been sayin'?
EAGAN
You were a big favorite in this
fight. Then two days ago the odds
start jumping all over the place
until you're a 12-5 underdog.
JAKE
I don't follow no gamblin'
Commissioner. I'm just a fighter.
EAGAN
Now the fight's off the books
altogether.
Meyer Lansky couldn't get a bet
down on this fight. Some people are
saying you're going into the tank.
JAKE
Believe what you want.
EAGAN
I want to believe you, LaMotta.
JAKE
I'm gonna kill him. That fuckin'
jig's gonna wish he never came outa
the jungle. You got any money?
EACAN
What?
JAKE
You got any money you want to bet
on Billy Fox, you can put it right
here...
(extends his hand)
'cause Jake LaMotta don't go down
for nobody.
EAGAN taps JAKE on the shoulder.
EAGAN
That's all I wanted to hear.
JAKE glares at EAGAN as the COMMISSIONER walks away.
INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - NIGHT (NOV. 14, 1947)
The old Garden is packed. The EX-CHAMPS, the PRESS, the
OFFICIALS, the MOB GUYS, the FANS -- they're all here.
The FIGHTERS are announced. BILLY FOX and JAKE touch gloves
and return to their corners.
FOX is taller and has a longer reach than JAKE.
The bell sounds and the FIGHTERS come out. FOX goes to the
head; JAKE goes to the body.
FOX lands a solid blow to JAKE's jaw, but LAMOTTA is unfazed.
FOX is surprised. In the past, his opponents have gone down
when he connected.
In the audience, COMO, SALVY, and some other BOYS watch with
interest.
JAKE moves in with a rapid series of trademark body blows.
All of a sudden, FOX is wobbly. JAKE goes for the head, then
cuts his punch short. FOX is about to go down.
JAKE throws his arms around FOX to make sure he doesn't fall.
JAKE
(to Fox)
Stand up! What the fuck are you
doin'?
The REFEREE breaks them apart and FOX remounts his attack.
JAKE bicycles into a corner and lets FOX work him over.
FOX connects: once, twice, three times. JAKE barely defends
himself -- but he doesn't go down either.
The CROWD starts to smell a fix. There are calls from the
AUDIENCE.
CROWD
Got your swimming trunks on, Jake?
I hope they're paying you enough.
Fake, fake.
TIME CUT:
JAKE's corner. JAKE is acting stunned. TONY, not aware of
what's going on, is slapping JAKE.
TONY
What's the matter with you? What's
the matter with you?
TIME CUT:
The sign reads "Round Four." JAKE is in the center of the
ring taking a relentless pasting from FOX. JAKE's arms hang
at waist level... FOX lands one blow after another. The stink
of a fix permeates the arena.
JAKE is furious that FOX can't deck him. He curses through
his mouthpiece (as he absorbs blow after blow):
JAKE
Hit me! Hit me! What's the matter
with you, you motherfucker? Hit me!
Boos and catcalls echo through the Garden. This is not even a
fight. The REFEREE, realizing this, steps in between FOX and
LAMOTTA, waves his arms and signals that FOX is the winner by
a technical knockout.
As he does, JAKE spits his mouthpiece in disgust at FOX and
struts back to his corner.
JAKE, JOEY, and TONY are already on their way out of the
arena as the REFEREE declares FOX the winner.
COMO and the OTHERS, satisfied, get up to leave.
INT. JAKE'S DRESSING ROOM - MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - NIGHT
As a REPORTER and a PHOTOGRAPHER come through the door, WE
SEE and hear a commotion in the hall behind them. They rush
in, look, and stop by the door. There is silence -- except
for JAKE'S uncontrollable sobbing. The atmosphere is like
that of funeral.
JAKE is seated behind the rubbing table. He is still in his
leopard-skin robe. His head hangs low as he sobs.
The PHOTOGRAPHER snaps a picture. The HANDLER motions to him
to stop, and then goes and sits near the door. The REPORTER
still stands near the doorway, seeming quite stunned by the
scene he is witnessing, but nevertheless continuing to
scribble away on his pad.
JOEY, standing near JAKE, has his back to everyone; his
shoulders are shaking, his lips are tightly drawn. He cries
soundlessly. TONY is pacing nearby.
TONY
Don't fight anymore!
(pause)
It's a free country, don't fight
anymore!
JAKE
(between sobs)
Why did they have to stop it? Why
did they have to stop it?
The REPORTER leans over to the HANDLER and whispers.
REPORTER
What happened?
HANDLER
(quietly)
He must've been really hurt in the
2nd. He didn't answer me when I
tried to tell him something in the
corner.
JAKE, still buried in his robe, becomes aware of the hum of
voices and shouts out:
JAKE
Get everyone out of here!
The REPORTER and the PHOTOGRAPHER leave. JAKE continues to
sob.
INT. PELHAM PARKWAY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
INSERT: CLOSE UP of a Daily News Headline from November 22,
1947: "Board Suspends LaMotta."
JAKE, dejected, sits on the couch. In front of him, on the
coffee table are scattered several newspapers -- including
the one with the headline we have just seen.
JOEY paces in front of JAKE.
JOEY
(yelling)
It woulda been so easy, Jack. So
easy...
JOEY goes into a boxing stance.
JOEY (CONT'D)
Stick out your hands, Jake.
JAKE
C'mon, Joey.
JOEY
G'wan, do it.
(jabs at him)
Protect yourself, rummy.
JAKE, out of reflex, sticks out his hands. As he does, JOEY
feigns a hit and falls onto the floor -- "out cold." JAKE
looks down at him.
JOEY pops to his feet.
JOEY (CONT'D)
See? That's all there was to it.
JAKE
What the fuck they want? I took the
dive. They want me to fall down
too? I don't fall down for nobody.
I never went down in my life. Joey,
what do I gotta do?
Crawl on my hands and knees? I made
an asshole of myself in the fuckin'
Garden! All the newspaper writers
make fun of me. I'm the bum of the
year. All I want is a shot. Just a
fuckin' shot. What do I gotta do?
I'll do anything.
JOEY
Except fall down like a normal
person.
JAKE
Yeah, except fall down. That's
right.
JOEY
All right, you don't wanna fall
down, so now you gotta take a rest.
So, you enjoy the suspension.
'Cause there's nothin' you can do
about it. Let the Commissioner and
the D.A. jerk you around. So you
wait.
JAKE
Jesus Christ! Seven months! What am
I gonna do for seven months? I'm
gonna go crazy. How do I keep my
strength? By that time I'll be too
weak to win the title. And my
weight? Forget about it -- I'm
gonna blow up like a balloon. I
ain't never gonna hold my weight
down. Seven months! I don't know...
JOEY
We did what we had to do. Tommy
don't forget. Sooner or later
you'll get your shot -- if Tommy
don't die.
EXT. BOOK-CADILLAC HOTEL, DETROIT - DAY (1949)
It's raining outside the stately Book-Cadillac.
A banner above the door proclaims.
The Book-Cadillac Welcomes
Marcel Cerdan
Middleweight Champion of the World
and the Challenger
Jake LaMotta
INT. BOOK-CADILLAC LOBBY - DAY
The lobby is chaotic: FIGHT PEOPLE and SPORTSWRITERS mill
anxiously about. Something's in the air.
The BELL CAPTAIN pages:
BELL CAPTAIN
Mr. Williams.
MR. WILLIAMS, THE DETROIT PROMOTER last seen in the
Copacabana Lounge, answers the page.
WILLIAMS listens on the phone a moment, then hands it back to
the BELL CAPTAIN and announces:
DETROIT PROMOTER
It's official. The fight's been
postponed twenty-four hours.
A groan goes up from the lobby.
INT. LAMOTTA'S SUITE - DAY
JAKE's suite is modestly decorated and consists of a living
room and two bedrooms.
DR. PINTO is there sewing up a pork chop.
JAKE, shadow-boxing in sportswear, paces back and forth.
TONY watches him. VICKIE sits quietly on the sofa, sipping
some wine.
JOEY is on the phone.
JOEY
That's right. "No comment."
(listens)
You like that? Good, 'cause I got a
lot more "No comments" where that
one came from.
JOEY cuts the line off, then leaves the receiver off the
hook.
JOEY (CONT'D)
I'm gonna order up some stuff. Have
a steak.
JAKE
I can't eat a steak. If I eat a
steak, I'm gonna have trouble
making the weigh-in.
JOEY
So eat just a little. You gotta eat
something.
JARS
What am I gonna do for 24 hours? I
can't even eat!
JAKE goes into the bedroom.
JOEY goes over to the DOCTOR.
DOCTOR
(shows him the pork chop)
How's that?
JOEY
How long did it take you?
DOCTOR
45 seconds.
JOEY
No good. Try to get it down. It's
gotta be no more than 30 seconds to
be on the safe side if we gotta
stitch him up.
INT. THE BEDROOM
JAKE is alone. There is a knock at the door. JOEY opens it
and pokes his head in.
JOEY
Jake, somebody wants to say hello
to you.
JOEY opens the door wider. TOMMY COMO is at the door with
JOEY. JAKE goes over to the door.
COMO
Hey champ!
JAKE
Tommy, thanks for coming over.
COMO
You just take it easy, now. You'll
do all right. Feelin' Ok?
JAKE
I'm Ok.
COMO
Just come by to wish you luck.
(shakes his hand)
Need anything?
JAKE
No, we're all right. Thanks anyway,
Tommy.
COMO
Ok, champ.
COMO turns to go. He says goodbye to everyone in the living
room. He goes over and kisses VICKIE. JAKE watches this from
the bedroom doorway.
COMO (CONT'D)
(as he kisses Vickie)
Look at her. As beautiful as
always. Take care of that guy, will
ya?
VICKIE
(going to the door with
him)
I'll take care of him. Thanks,
Tommy. Bye.
JAKE
(to Vickie)
C'mere.
She goes to the bedroom doorway. JAKE grabs her arm, pulls
her in, and slams the door.
JAKE (CONT'D)
(pushing her toward the
bed area)
Hey, you don't say goodbye to him
like that.
VICKIE
What did I do?
JAKE
(pushing her)
You don't kiss like that. Hello and
goodbye, that's all you do.
VICKIE
All I did...
JAKE
(interrupting)
You know what I'm talking about.
Don't ever make me look bad on the
night of my big fight.
VICKIE
You're hurting my arm.
JAKE has her by the night table now. They are edging their
way to the wall.
JAKE
Shut up. You just say hello and
goodbye to him. You don't kiss him
the way you did. That's out of
line.
JAKE pushes her against the wall. The lamp falls. There is a
loud crash. She tries to move away. He grabs her by the
throat and pins her against the wall. She's gagging.
VICKIE
But Jake... I didn't say
anything...
JAKE
Don't ever do that again. You don't
(he pushes her against the
wall)
do it!
VICKIE
(gagging)
Jake...
JOEY looks in and then starts to come over.
JAKE
You hear what I said? You don't do
it.
He pushes her again. VICKIE tries to get away, but can't
move.
JAKE (CONT'D)
(pushing her again)
You don't do it.
JOEY has his hand on JAKE's arm, trying to pry it away from
VICKIE's throat.
JOEY
Jake, Jake...
TONY and the DOCTOR watch from the doorway.
VICKIE's eyes close. JAKE releases his grip. JOEY helps
VICKIE. JAKE watches this.
JAKE
(to himself)
She ain't gonna ruin this fight for
me.
EXT. BRIGGS STADIUM - NIGHT (JUNE 16, 1949)
Bright floodlights illuminate the arena. The weather's clear
and the stadium is filled with cheering fight FANS.
An ANNOUNCER steps into the center of the ring and begins ti
introduce the many CELEBRITIES that have gathered for the
fight.
ANNOUNCER
And here is the young man who has
inherited Marcel Cerdan's European
championship - Laurent Dauthuille.
DAUTHUILLE jumps into the ring.
While WE HEAR him introduce the boxers and celebrities, WE
SEE a rapid MONTAGE: JAKE preparing for the title bout:
PRE-FIGHT MONTAGE
A) JAKE and GROUP arrive in the dressing room.
B) In his bathrobe, JAKE puts on his boxing shoes.
C) We see a pan with raw steak in it. JOEY drains the blood
(juice) into a glass and JAKE takes a long, slow swallow.
D) REPRISE of IMAGES from PREVIOUS SCENE (SLOW MOTION) - NEW
ANGLE.
TOMMY COMO shakes JAKE's hand in the bathroom doorway. VICKIE
kisses COMO. Jake watches.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And our very special guest tonight
needs no introduction. The only man
to defend the heavyweight crown a
remarkable twenty-five times, the
king of all heavyweights, the Brown
Bomber, Joe Louis. Come into the
ring, Joe.
JOE LOUIS (V.O.)
Thank you, Johnny. Let's bring the
middleweight crown back to the old
U.S.A. where it belongs.
Many cheers.
E) DR. PINTO injects a hypodermic needle filled with
novocaine into each of JAKE's fists.
F) JOEY massages JAKE's neck.
G) JAKE's hands are bandaged
H) REPRISE of IMAGES from PREVIOUS SCENE (SLOW MOTION - NEW
ANGLE)
JAKE strangles VICKIE in the bedroom, then releases her.
JOEY looks after her, but the IMAGE makes them look as if
they're making love. Jake watches.
ANNOUNCER
And in this corner, the
middleweight champion of the world,
from Casablanca, Morocco, the
Casablanca Clouter, Marcel Cerdan!
I) JAKE puts on his cup and trunks.
J) MARIO laces up JAKE's gloves.
K) JAKE, ready to fight, a towel draped around his head,
bounces on the balls of his feet. He starts walking down the
corridor from his dressing room, surrounded by MARIO, JOEY,
DR. PINTO and his HANDLERS. He enters the stadium.
INT. BRIGGS STADIUM - NIGHT
JAKE, wearing his leopard-skin robe, is pushed through the
CROWD by JOEY, MARIO and his HANDLERS. He's still shadow
boxing.
JAKE steps into the ring to both cheers and boos (many still
remember the Fox fight). JAKE raises his gloves.
ANNOUNCER
And in the opposite corner, from
New York, New York, the challenger,
the Bronx Bull, Jake LaMotta!
JAKE shakes hands with the assembled CELEBRITIES and EX
CHAMPIONS.
JAYE
I only wish it was you, Joe.
JOE LOUIS
Win the belt back for us, Jake.
Good luck.
JAKE glances at VICKIE who is sitting in the third row. She
is nervous.
TIME CUT:
The opening bell sounds. CERDAN and LAMOTTA touch gloves and
begin to fight.
JAKE is hot: there's no stopping him tonight. He fights like
a man possessed.
CERDAN clinches JAKE to avoid his brutal body blows. JAKE
pushes him out of the clinch in disgust.
There are no more boos. JAKE has won over the crowd.
TIME CUT:
END OF ROUND NINE. JAKE is working over a bloody CERDAN.
Punches to the body, then to the head, then back to the body.
The bell sounds.
JAKE walks back to his corner and sits down. JOEY is
ecstatic:
JOEY
Look at him, Jackie! You got at!
The fuckin' championship! He's
yours! Finish him off.
JAKE doesn't have the chance. The REFEREE, standing in
CERDAN's corner, waves his hands signaling the end of the
fight.
The REFEREE holds up JAKE's hands as THE ANNOUNCER takes the
mike:
ANNOUNCER
The new middleweight champion of
the world by a knockout after nine
rounds, the Bronx Bull, Jake
LaMotta!
JOEY is all over him. TONY helps VICKIE through the MOB.
In his corner, CERDAN holds his head in his hands and says,
"My title, my title!"
The OFFICIALS clear a circle as they bring over the jewel
studded championship belt. JOE LOUIS fastens the belt around
JAKE's waist.
JAKE touches the oversized belt with his bloody gloves. Tears
fall across JAKE's huge grin as he holds his hands high in
the air. It is the most glorious night in his life.
EXT. "JAKE LAMOTTA'S" - NIGHT (1956)
The name "Jake LaMotta's Lounge" is emblazoned in neon across
a lounge/liquor store on Collins Avenue, Miami's main drag.
JAKE's bar is across from The Rooney Plaza, one of Miami's
more prestigious hotels.
Fifties cars are parked outside the club.
INT. "JAKE LAMOTTA'S" - NIGHT
JAKE LAMOTTA, 34 years old, wearing a tux, steps in front of
a large painted wall mural of the Cerdan fight as he enters
his club.
The Lounge is dominated by a large circular bar. Featured
entertainers perform on a raised platform in the center of
the bar.
The club is half filled with SPORTS, ENTERTAINMENT and MOB
TYPES.
The small BAND plays a routine fanfare as JAKE steps onto the
platform. He takes the mike with one hand and silences the
BAND with the other. The applause dies out as he speaks:
JAKE
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a thrill to be standin' here
talking to you wonderful people. In
fact, it's a thrill to be standin'.
I haven't seen so many people since
my last fight at Madison Square
Garden. After that fight a reporter
asked me, "Jake, where do you go
from here?" I said, "To a
hospital."
About HALF THE PATRONS are listening; of them, HALF are
laughing, SOME a little too loud.
JAKE (CONT'D)
I fought one hundred and six
professional fights and none of
them bums figured out how to fight
me -- they kept hitting me in the
head!
(calls to the bar)
Will somebody at the bar -- Linda?
- get me a drink. I figure if I'm
gonna work to drunks I might as
well be one of 'em! I like this
place. It's a family type club...
every night I see a lot of fathers
sitting out there with their young
daughters! That's nice.
LINDA hands him a drink.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Thanks, honey. -- She's terrific.
The kinda girl you wanta take home
to meet your father. Especially if
your old man's a degenerate! --
Here's a toast! "To your health!
You only live once. But if you play
it right, once is enough." I
shouldn't be drinkin' like this
'cause I'm tryin' to lose weight.
I'm on this terrific diet -- I'm
allowed to eat anything I want. As
long as I don't swallow it! Well, I
never had much luck with my weight.
In fact, -- I never had much luck
with anything -- until about a few
years ago, when this happened --
He indicates the blow-up behind him and waits for applause,
of which there is some.
JAKE (CONT'D)
... thanks, I'm glad to see you
remember. For those of you that
don't... that's me takin' the title
from Cerdan.
You know, the tough thing about
winnin' the title... the next thing
you gotta do is have a rematch...
just to show it wasn't no fluke. So
what happens? Marcel Cerdan, a
really great champ, after I beat
him... he gets himself killed in
that airplane crash... a pretty
rotten break for him. That's why I
don't like to fly. People say to
me, "Look, Jake, when your time is
up, your time is up." And I say,
"Yeah, but suppose I'm on the plane
and the pilot's time is up?" As
good as Cerdan was, I could've
taken him again. But I never got
the chance to prove it wasn't no
fluke. He got killed but he got to
be what they call a legend. I don't
know what's worse -- bein' a fluke
or bein' a legend. -- That's the
kinda luck I got. That's why I quit
the ring and moved down here from
New York. My wife said, "You gotta
get outa this town, Jake." Come to
think of it... the boxing
commission said the same thing! But
I don't miss New York. Give me
Miami any day.
The AUDIENCE applauds.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Miami's a great place. I get along
with everybody in this town... even
the police force... They got the
best cops here money can buy! --
Only kiddin'. By the way... me and
my wife Vickie's gettin' ready to
celibrate our eleventh wedding
anniversary.
More applause.
JAKE (CONT'D)
We get along real great. We fight a
little but I never really belted
her on purpose. Once in a while
I'm standin' there doin' little
shadow-boxin' and she happens to
walk right into the shadow... I
can't help that.
She says, "Whataya hittin' me for?"
I says, "It's nothin'. It's only a
love tap." She says, "It's a good
thing you're not crazy about me!" --
I am crazy about her. I heard her
talkin' to a friend on the phone
and she was sayin', "After eleven
years, I'm still in love with the
same guy." -- If I ever find out
who the bum is, I'll kill him!
Women. You can't live with 'em, you
can't live without 'em.
Then, suddenly, falling into character... he quotes lago's
speech in Othello.
JAKE (CONT'D)
"'Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy.
It is the green-eyed monster, which
doth mock the meat it feeds on.
That cuckold lives in bliss who,
certain of his fate, loves not his
woronger; But O, what damned
minutes tells he o'er who dotes,
yet doubts -- suspects, yet fondly
loves!" -- That's from somethin'
called "Othello" --
OR, ALTERNATE SPEECH:
JAKE (CONT'D)
Is whispering nothing? Is leaning
cheek to cheek? Is meeting noses?
Kissing with inside lip? Stopping
the career of laughter with a sign?
-- A note infallible of breaking
honesty -- horsing foot on foot?
Skulking in corners? Wishing clocks
more swift? Hours, minutes? Noon,
midnight? and all eyes blind with
the pin and web but theirs, theirs
only, that would unseen be wicked?
Is this nothing? Why, then the
world and all that's in't is
nothing; The covering sky is
nothing; Bohemia nothing; My wife
is nothing; nor nothing have these
nothings, if this be nothing." --
That's from something called "The
Winter's Tale" -- Shakespeare! You
all remember Shakespeare.
He wrote all them famous plays one
after the other, then he went into
a big slump and he ain't done
anything good in years. That speech
is about jealousy -- jealousy's a
bad thing. Jealousy bothers a lot
of guys... take me... I almost
killed my brother... I love him...
he's my family... I mean, there's
nothin' he wouldn't do for me. And
that's the way we been goin' thru
life -- doin' nothin' for each
other! Anytime he got in trouble
when we was kids, I got him out of
it. You know, he used to steal
little things when we was growin'
up. But he was particular... only
stole things that begin with an 'a'
-- a watch, a car, a suit, a
ring... But I was wrong... I
shoulda never hit my brother.
Afterwards, I was sorry. Now every
time I need somethin' I gotta go
shoppin' for it! A psychiatrist
once told me, "When you hit your
brother you're really hittin' your
mother, but you can't admit it to
yourself." He's really crazy. I
woulda never hit my mother. I mean,
only in self-defense!
INT. JAKE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY (1950)
JAKE is struggling with his later model ten-inch RCA TV. He
fools with the dials, then slaps the side. The bluish video
image comes and goes. JOEY watches JAKE fix the TV.
JAKE has a half-eaten sandwich in his hand.
VICKIE enters the house, surprised to find JAKE home.
VICKIE
Jake, you're home.
JAKE looks up at her. (She goes over to him and kisses him.)
MOVING SHOT.
JOEY gives VICKIE a polite peck on the mouth. MOVING SHOT.
JOEY
Hi, Vickie.
JAKE watches JOEY kiss VICKIE. VICKIE notices JAKE'S
reaction.
VICKIE
What's the matter with you?
JAKE
Tryin' to get this fuckin' TV to
work. Paid all this money for it
and still can't get a station a
mile away. And Mr. Wizard here
ain't no help.
JOEY
Screw you, Jack.
JAKE
(to Vickie)
Where you been?
VICKIE goes into the bedroom to take off her coat. On the
stairs, MOVING SHOT:
VICKIE
I went out.
JAKE
(to Joey)
What's that kissing on the mouth
shit?
JOEY
What? I just said hello. Since when
I can't kiss my sister-in-law?
JAKE
Ain't a cheek ever good enough for
you? I never even kissed Mama on
the mouth.
JOEY
Well, you're not supposed to kiss
your mother on the mouth.
JAKE
Well, that's what I mean.
JAKE leans over the TV.
JAKE (CONT'D)
How's that?
JOEY
I can't tell. You're stomach's in
the way.
JAKE stares at JOEY.
JOEY (CONT'D)
Don't give me those looks. I'm just
your manager. The minute you start
to be champ, you start eating like
there's no tomorrow. And you giving
me looks. All I know is that I
don't have to defend my title next
month.
JAKE looks up at JOEY.
JAKE
Answer me somethin'. What happened
at the Copa with Salvy when I was
out of town?
JOEY
When?
JAKE
You know, when you gave him a
beatin'.
JOEY
(being as vague as
possible)
Nothin'. Salvy was out of line. He
was drunk or somethin', I dunno.
Anyway, the windup was I gave him a
beatin'. Tommy called me down, and
we straightened it out. It's all
forgotten about.
JAKE
Why didn't you tell me about it?
JOEY
It didn't have nothin' to do with
you.
JAKE
Didn't it have nothin' to do with
me?
JOEY
No, I just told you what happened.
JAKE
(he obviously knows)
Who did it have anything to do
with... Vickie?
JOEY
Jack, no. I just explained the
whole thing to you. It was just
between me and Salvy, if it had
anything to do with you and Vickie,
I woulda told you about it.
JAKE
Well, I heard some things.
MOVING in on JOEY, JAKE'S P.O.V.
JOEY
"You heard some things." Will you
stop worryin' about that shit?
Forget about it. You know you got a
title fight comin' up.
PAUSE.
JOEY
(refering to the TV)
Whatever you touched, that's good
now.
JAKE
Did Salvy fuck Vickie?
JOEY
What?
JAKE
You're supposed to keep an eye on
her for me. I'm askin'...
JOEY
(interrupting)
I did keep an eye...
JAKE
Then why did you give him a beatin'
if he didn't do anything? You and
him been friends a long time.
JOEY
Some things changed between us.
Now, he thinks who the fuck he is.
He's been passing certain remarks
that I don't like.
JAKE
(interrupting)
Don't bullshit me, Joey. You ain't
tellin' me the truth.
JOEY
What bullshit? Hey, I'm your
brother. You wanna believe me - you
trust me?
JAKE
When it comes to her, I don't trust
nobody. I'm askin' you somethin'.
JOEY
Well, you're wrong Jack. I'm
tellin" you what happened. He got
outta line, we had a fight, and
it's staightened out now.
There is a pause. (Move in on JOEY, JAKE'S P.O.V.)
JAKE
(suspicious)
You givin' me that look. I gotta
accept your word, but if I find out
anythin', I'm gonna kill
somebody...
JOEY
(yelling)
So, go ahead. Kill everybody. Kill
Salvy, kill Vickie, kill Tommy
Como, kill me while you're at it.
What do I care? You're killing
yourself the way you're eating, the
way you worry about things you
don't have to worry about.
JAKE
(interrupting)
What do you mean, "you"?
JOEY
What?
JAKE
(interrupting, catching
Joey)
What do you mean, "you"?
JOEY
(caught)
I meant, kill everybody. You or me
or anybody. You're a big shot.
Kill, kill... g'head.
JAKE
But you said "you."
JOEY
So what?
JAKE
Eh, Joey, even you don't know what
you meant. You mentioned Salvy,
Tommy Como, you -- that means
somethin'. Why'd you say them? You
coulda said anybody.
JOEY
You're worried about this girl,
you're gonna let this girl ruin
you're life for you... You wanna
worry, worry about your fuckin'
stomach that you can't bend over --
that you gotta step in the ring in
a month.
JAKE
Did you ever fuck my wife?
JOEY
What?
JAKE
I don't mean now. I mean before --
before we met.
JOEY
Whadda ya mean?
JAKE
Did you ever fuck my wife?
JOEY
Whatsa matter with you?
JAKE
You're very smart, Joey, very
smart. Nobody gives me a straight
answer around here.
You're givin' me these answers, but
you still didn't answer my
question. Did you fuck Vickie?
JOEY
(fed up, he starts to
leave)
I gotta go. I gotta get outta here.
I can't take this shit. Lenore is
waitin' for me. I gotta go. You're
a definite wacko. You're fuckin'
crazy, you know that, crazy.
JAKE'S P.O.V., MOVING SHOT as JOEY leaves. JAKE goes into the
bedroom.
INT. THE BEDROOM
JAKE walks over to VICKIE. (MOVE in on VICKIE - JAKE'S P.O.V.
becomes her shot.)
JAKE
Where you been all day?
VICKIE
I took the kids to my sister's.
JAKE
I called. You weren't there.
VICKIE
I got bored so I went to the
movies.
JAKE
What'd you see?
VICKIE
I went to the movies.
JAKE
What'd you see?
VICKIE
"Father of the Bride."
JAKE
What was it about?
VICKIE
Oh, c'mon. For Christsake, do I
have to tell you everything?
JAKE
Did you ever go to the Copa when I
was away?
VICKIE
What're you talking about?
JAKE
Answer me when I talk to you. What
happened that night?
VICKIE
(interrupting, yelling)
I am answering...
JAKE
(hits her)
What do I have to do to get a
straight answer around here.
JAKE holds onto her, but she gets away.
VICKIE
Jake, no --
JAKE
(as he chases her around
the room)
Do I have to kill you, eh?
(hits her)
Do I have to kill somebody to get
an answer?
(hits her)
I know about you at the Copa. I
know all about it.
JAKE catches her.
VICKIE
I didn't do anything wrong. I
swear. I just had a few drinks.
JAKE
(pins her down, hits her)
With Salvy, eh?
VICKIE
I went with Sandy and Vera. Salvy
was there.
(gets hit)
Stop it. I just had a drink, that's
all. I didn't do anything wrong.
(gets hit)
VICKIE escapes and locks herself in the bathroom.
JAKE
(by bathroom door)
Come out of there! Did you fuck
Salvy?
(punches door)
Answer me. Open this fuckin' door,
you fuckin' cunt!
(punches door)
Who've you been fuckin'?
VICKIE
(from inside bathroom)
Nobody, I tell you. Jake stop it.
JAKE
You're a fuckin' liar.
He breaks down the door.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Who've you been fuckin'? Salvy?
(hits her)
Tommy Como?
(hits her)
I can't trust nobody.
(hits her)
Did you fuck Joey?
(hits her)
Who you been fuckin'?
She finally manages to push him away.
VICKIE
All right, I fucked everybody! Go
ahead, kill me, kill me.
VICKIE takes JAKE's hand and hits herself. JAKE is stunned.
VICKIE (CONT'D)
I'll say anything you want me to
say. I fuckled Salvy. I fucked
Tommy. I fucked your brother. I
fucked everybody! What do you want
to hear? I sucked your brother's
fuckin' cock!
JAKE
You did?
VICKIE
Yeah, I sucked his cock.
JAKE starts to walk away. VICKIE goes after him.
JAKE is gone.
INT. JOEY'S PELHAM PARKWAY HOUSE - DAY
JOEY is at the kitchen table eating lunch with his family.
His wife, LENORE, her hair done up in pin curls, sits next to
him. JOEY's TWO KIDS sit across the table from them,
bickering.
JOEY
(to kids)
Don't hit your brother! Be nice.
Suddenly, JAKE comes through the front door, goes directly to
the table, grabs JOEY, lifts him into the air, and starts
hitting him.
JOEY (CONT'D)
Jake, stop it.
JAKE keeps hitting JOEY. The KIDS start to cry. LENORE wants
to stop the fight, but is afraid to get too close.
JAKE
Was Vickie part of the deal with
Tommy? Was my wife part of the
deal? Tell me, was that it?
JOEY
Stop it. What're you, crazy?
JAKE drags JOEY into the living room, and pushes him onto the
floor.
JAKE
(kneeling over Joey and
hitting him)
You didn't tell me. You didn't tell
me. You let me marry her. You let
me marry her.
VICKIE rushes into the house, past LENORE and the TWO KIDS
who are screaming even louder now.
VICKIE
(hitting Jake on his back
as he hits Joey)
You're killing him. You're killing
him for nothing. Stop it.
JAKE
(hits her)
Get the fuck outa here. Whadda you
mean nothing'? You stupid bitch!
VICKIE
(still hitting Jake)
Nothing is what I said! Go on, kull
me.
(hits him)
Kill me.
(hits him)
I'm not afraid of you anymore. I
don't care if you kill me like
you're killing him. You're a sick
animal.
JOEY is knocked out. LENORE goes over to him and holds him.
JAKE
(to Vickie)
You're the fuckin' animal! You ran
around with every guy I knew while
I was breakin' my ass for you.
VICKIE
(as she pushes and hits
Jake to the front door)
You're not only an animal, you're a
stupid animal.
(pushes and hits him out
the front door)
You're rotten.
(hits him)
Rotten.
(hits him)
Rotten.
(hits him)
You're a sick maniac. A maniac! You
belong in a mental hospital.
EXT. JOEY'S PELHAM PARKWAY HOUSE - DAY
VICKIE gives JAKE a final push out the door and then slams it
in his face.
JAKE is left alone on the front steps.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. JAKE'S PELHAM PARKWAY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - EARLY
EVENING
JAKE sits alone in the darkness.
VICKIE lets herself in. She comes and stands behind him.
VICKIE
Well, he ain't dead in case you're
interested.
(pause)
I'm leaving you. And I don't care
if you do try to kill me. Go ahead.
I'm not afraid of you anymore.
There's worse things than being
dead and one of them's living with
you --
(pause)
I'm leaving tonight. I must have
been crazier than you are for
stayin' with you this long. You're
hopeless. You're not gonna let
anybody love you. I kept thinking
that you'd change when you got to
be the champ... But I just can't
take it anymore. I'm taking the
kids and I'm leavin'.
There is a pause.
JAKE
Aw, Vickie, aw Vickie, please no.
Vickie, no... don't leave me.
Christ, I'm pleading... I know, I
know all the bad things, but I need
you. I'm a bum without you and the
kids. I'll change. Aw, Vickie,
maybe I don't do it the right way,
but I love you. I love you.
There is a pause.
VICKIE
You know, if there's one thing -- I
just don't understand you, not one
single little bit. You love me?
JAKE
Yeah --
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. STEAM BATH - NIGHT
The steam is oppressively thick. It must be 140 degrees.
JAKE, nude, does push-ups on the floor. His body is bathed in
sweat.
He pushes himself up, then collapses. His eyes are glazed
over from lack of strength.
He makes his way to the door and pounds on it.
TONY opens the door and gets on his knees beside JAKE.
TONY
It ain't worth it, Jake. Get out.
JAKE
(barely coherent)
What time is it?
TONY
Nine o'clock.
JAKE
At night?
TONY
Yeah. At night.
JAKE
How many pounds I gotta lose?
TONY
Three more, I figure.
JAKE
Just give me a chip of ice to put
in my mouth. Just a chip of ice.
TONY
I'll give you anything you want,
Jake. I think you should come out
for a few minutes -- give yourself
a break.
JAKE
(barely audible)
Are you outa your mind? If I come
out, I'll lose the title.
INT. JAKE'S PELHAM PARKWAY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM
VICKIE is seated on the sofa, reading newspapers. JAKE is
pacing.
VICKIE
Jake, why don't you just try lying
down and get some rest.
JAKE
I don't know what it is. I dunno,
it's the kind of thing that -- the
words won't come out.
VICKIE
Jake --
JAKE
What?
VICKIE
I want to say something to you
without you blowing your stack.
JAKE
OK. Talk.
VICKIE
(pause)
Why don't you just call him up?
JAKE
What do I say to him? Call him up
on the phone and say, "Joey, I'm
sorry about that little trouble we
had. How about havin' dinner?" Is
that what I say?
VICKIE
No, not that.
JAKE
Then what?
VICKIE
(pause)
I don't know.
INT. OLYMPIA STADIUM, DETROIT - NIGHT (SEPT. 13, 1950)
The LAMOTTA-DAUTHUILLE middleweight championship is told
through the eyes and words of the RINGSIDE ANNOUNCER. JAKE is
not doing well.
RINGSIDE ANNOUNCER
... Ladies and gentlemen, I've sat
in front of these microphones for
over twenty years but this is the
strangest championship bout I've
ever seen. With two minutes to go
in the final round, the champion,
the mighty Bull from the Bronx, is
just simply taking punch after
punch from the challenger.
Dauthuille scores a combination,
then backpedals. LaMotta pursues
him. One minute to go. Laurent
DauthuiLlle, who has already beat
Lamotta in a non-title bout, is
about to fulfill a dream -- to
bring the middleweight crown back
to France.
In the ring, JAKE looks like he's on queer street. Bouncing
off the ropes, opening his jaw to DAUTHUILLE. But
DAUTHUILLE's punches lack strength. JAKM is playing possum.
RINGSIDE'ANNOUNCER
Thirty seconds to go. The Bull
starts to swing. LaMotta comes in
for a brutal body combinaticn: one,
two, three, four punches. LaMotta
has landed a solid left hook to the
Frenchman's jaw! Dauthuille seems
confused. LaMotta is swinging
wildly now: right, left, right,
left! Dauthuille is backing off!
Everyone is on their feet! I can
hardly see, ladies and gentlemen.
Dauthuille is on the ropes. LaMotta
hits a right -- Dauthuille is down!
Dauthuille is down! Referee Lou
Handler is counting him out --
three, four, five -- if Dauthuille
can stand, he'll win the decision --
eight, nine -- Dauthuille is on
one knee -- ten! It's all over!
With thirteen seconds left on the
clock, Jake LaMotta has retained
his middleweight championship in
one of the most remarkable combacks
in boxing! Dauthuille is standing
now, confused. But the fight is
over.
AN ANNOUNCER holds up JAKE's victorious hand. He seems as
surprised as everyone else.
TONY throws JAKE'S robe around his shoulders as THE ANNOUNCER
calls out:
ANNOUNCER
The middleweight champion, and
still champion by a knockout in
fifteen rounds, the Bronx Bull, the
Raging Bull, Jake LaMotta!
The CROWD cheers. JAKE raises his arms in victory.
INT. JAKE'S DRESSING ROOM - OLYMPIA STADIUM - NIGHT
It is after the fight. TONY, VICKIE, and OTHERS are in the
room. Some PEOPLE are leaving. Congratulations are heard.
TONY puts away JAKE's fight gear.
JAKE, half-dressed, looks troubled.
JAKE
(to Vickie)
I miss Joey. I wish Joey was here.
VICKIE
Why don't you just call him?
JAKE
I dunno.
VICKIE
Tell him how you feel -- you miss
him. Tell him you're sorry.
JAKE
(pauze)
Ok, all right. Telephone's in the
hall. Dial his number.
VICKIE goes to the pay phone in the hall, and dials long
distance.
JAKE is nervous, but follows VICKIE.
THE HALLWAY
As the number starts to ring,
VICKIE hands the phone to JAKE.
JOEY (O.S.)
Hello... hello...
JAKE can't answer.
JOEY (O.S.) (CONT'D)
What's this, a joke? Hello... Hey!
JAKE can't answer.
JOEY (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Well, if there's somebody
listenin', their mother's a fuckin'
whore who takes it in the ass.
There is a click as JOEY hangs up.
JAKE stands there, and finally hangs up the phone.
INT. "JAKE LAMOTTA'S" - NIGHT (1956)
JAKE gulps down the last of his Scotch.
JAKE
(continuing his monologue)
I shoulda never hit my brother.
Afterwards I was sorry. Now every
time I need somethin' I gotta go
shoppin' for it! A psychiatrist
once told me, "When you hit your
brother you're really hittin' your
mother but you can't admit it to
yourself." He's really crazy. I
woulda never hit my mother. I mean,
only in self-defense! A lot of
people wanta know who was the best
guy I ever fought. Let's see...
there was that one I fought
twice... the other Frenchman... you
know who I mean...
(having trouble
pronouncing the name)
... Dauthuille! He was tough, but I
beat him... I had to! I mean, how
would it sound losin' to a guy
whose name you can't even
pronounce? But... Robinson. I can
say that alright. I fought Sugar
Ray so many times it's a wonder I
don't have diabetes! Linda... get
me another drink! Linda's the most
popular waitress here... you can
tell by her tips! She's the kinda
girl I go for. You oughta see the
ones I get.
LINDA brings him another Scotch.
JAKE (CONT'D)
... Thanks, babe. She's a nice kid.
She'll only do it with a guy if she
really likes him. She's got a lot
in common with Will Rogers -- never
met a man she didn't like! ... I
was talkin' about Sugar Ray. Some
of you think I was better than
him... but you know, it's a toss
up. Except the last fight...
February 14, 1951.
JAKE sips his drink.
JAKE(CONT'D)
Valentine's Day. The anniversary of
the St. Valentine's Massacre.
Robinson didn't use a machine gun
but it was still a massacre...
JAKE takes another drink.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Actually, I was doin' okay at
first. In fact, by the end of the
fifth round I really had him
worried -- he thought he killed me.
INT. JOEY'S PELHAM PARKWAY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (FEB.
14, 1951)
LENORE, JOEY's wife, watches the 6th Robinson-LaMotta fight
on JOEY's new television console.
JOEY walks by on his way to another room, but stops to watch.
LENORE is not a fight fan, but is caught up in the fight,
anyway.
LENORE
Look at that. The sonofabitch is
outboxing Robinson.
JOEY
I can't believe he's getting that
jab in.
The bell sounds, and a Pabst commercial comes on:
PABST COMMERCIAL
"Friend, the quality that has
carried Pabst Blue Ribbon around
the world is yours for the asking.
Next time that friendly bartender
says, 'What'll you have?' give him
the answer the whole world gives,
Pabst Blue Ribbon!"
INT. CHICAGO STADIUM - NIGHT
TONY is wiping JAKE off in his corner.
JAKE
He ain't hurting me, but I can't
get him down.
TONY
Don't talk. Keep at it. Jab, jab,
jab. You're ahead on points.
In the other, SUGAR RAY'S TRAINER pats down ROBINSON's
pompadour as he says:
S.R.'S TRAINER
He's going, Sugar. He's old. He
ain't Jake LaMotta no more. Make
your move, Sugar. Kill him!
ROBINSON nods.
The bell sounds and the FIGHTERS step onto the canvas. They
look at each other before the boxing starts -- they both know
the inevitable outcome. ROBINSON smiles.
INT. JOEY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
ROBINSON makes his move. His arms are a blur, swinging
rapidly but accurately.
JOEY and LENORE are suddenly silent.
TV ANNOUNCER
LaMotta's on queer street, but he's
still standing. Robinson throws a
right, a left, a right, a right and
a right again! How can LaMotta stay
on his feet?
On the TV, WE SEE that ROBINSON has JAKE up against the
ropes. He's giving JAKE a pier six beating. It's the Fox
fight for real.
JAKE's face is so soaked in blood that it's impossible to
pinpoint the cuts.
TV ANNOUNCER (CONT'D)
No man can take this kind of
punishment. LaMotta is just a rag
doll now. God knows what's holding
him up. This is an historic
beating. Sugar Rav staggers LaMotta
with a left and comes across with a
blackjack punch to the champion's
head. The referee is stepping in,
Robinson has LaMotta on the ropes.
That's it! Sugar Ray Robinson,
former welterweight champion, has
taken the middleweight crown from
Jake LaMota.
As the REFEREE stops the fight, JOEY sighs with relief.
INT. CHICAGO STADIUM - NIGHT
LAMOTTA, a bloody and beaten fighter, walks over to the
victorious ROBINSON and puts his arm on his shoulder.
JAKE
You never knocked me down. You
could never knock me down.
ROBINSON, receiving congratulations from every direction,
takes time to turn to JAKE and say:
ROBINSON
So what?
EXT. JAKE'S MIAMI HOUSE - DAY (JUNE 2, 1954)
ESTABLISHING SHOT. The house is quite large, and has
beautiful landscaping and a swimming pool.
INT. JAKE'S MIAMI HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
JAKE, wearing sportclothes that can't hide his paunch, and
VICKIE, wearing a dress and looking her best, sit in the
living room with their THREE CHILDREN (the TWO BOYS, and also
a GIRL, about two years old).
A still PHOTOGRAPHER clicks pictures of JAKE and VICKIE as
TWO REPORTERS talk with JAKE.
JAKE
I'm pulling out of next Wednesday's
TV bout 'cause I can't make the
weight. I'm fighting at light
heavyweight, and I still can't make
the weight.
REPORTER
Does that mean...
JAKE
It means I'm through with boxing.
I'm tired with tryin' to make the
weight anymore. I'm sick of
thinkin' about weight, weight,
weight.
REPORTER
You sound bitter.
JAKE
Why should I be bitter? Boxing's
been good to me. I got a nice
house, three kids, a beautiful wife
-- take a picture of her. Vickie.
VICKIE poses dutifully.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Ain't she beautiful? Coulda been
Mrs. America if I didn't pull her
outa the contest. Didn't want her
wearing a swimsuit for nobody but
me.
REPORTER
What do you think of Jake's
retirement, Mrs. LaMotta?
JAKE cuts in:
JAKE
I also bought a club on Collins
Avenue, and I'm gonna open it real
soon. Know what I'm gonna call it?
"Jake LaMotta's."
INT. "JAKE LAMOTTA'S" - NIGHT (1956)
JAKE, an empty glass in his hand, stands on the bar platform.
He's wearing a white tuxedo jacket with a red rose in the
lapel. His tuxedo shirt is stained. He continues his
monologue.
JAKE
Valentine's Day. The anniversary of
the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.
Robinsin didn't use a machine gun
but it was still a massacre...
(takes another drink)
Actually, I was doin' okay at
first. In fact, by the end of the
fifth round I really had him
worried --- he thought he killed
me. You know, I could keep tellin'
you this brilliant material all
night -- but you'd only laugh. Now
I'm gonna sing. -- Any requests? I
mean, besides "don't"!
(then to piano player)
-- In the key of H.
(then to audience)
You're laughin'. Give me the right
key and I'll play in anybody's
flat! I sing for a reason. When I
finish, you'll be so sobered up,
we'll sell a lot of booze.
JAKE's onstage version of "That's Entertainment" differs from
the backstage version. It's not just that he's a little drunk
-- no, his voice is defiant, sadly defiant. He is singing at
the PATRONS rather than to them.
JAKE (CONT'D)
"When the fighter's not engaged in
his employment, his employment,
although he was Champ and quite the
rage, he must go somewhere else to
seek employment, seek employment.
So what does he do? He goes upon
the stage and meets his true
adversaries, all you members of the
human race. But a fighter's life is
not a bowl of cherries, still I'd
rather have an egg than a fist upon
my face... That's Entertainment!
JAKE brings the BAND to a crescendo with a wave of his hand,
then silences it. The spotlight goes out and there is a
hearty round of applause.
JAKE receives the kisses, glad handshakes and congratulations
of the PATRONS as he works his way around the club.
JAKE's new friends love him. They are PARTY GIRLS, SPORTS
FIGURES, COLUMNISTS, MOBSTERS, B ACTORS, and OTHER
"CELEBRITIES."
JAKE poses for a still with TWO BUXOM YOUNG LOVELIES. ONE
GIRL giggles as he fondles her. After the flash goes off, the
GIRLS admire his "small, delicate" hands.
JAKE steps over to a table and greets J.R., a newspaper
columnist, and his COMPANIONS.
JAKE (CONT'D)
J.R., glad you could make it.
J.R.
You were great, Jake. Just like old
times. Good thing Sugar Ray wasn't
here tonight. Oh Jake, this is
State's Attorney Bronson and his
wife.
JAKE shakes his hand, then holds it up -- showing an empty
palm.
JAKE
(joking)
Sorry, empty! Heh, heh! Oh, I
didn't mean that. If I don't give
your husband no money, he won't
have enough to buy you a drink. To
show you I'm a nice guy, this one's
on me. The last one was your
payment for this month.
BRONSON is embarrassed. He doesn't think the joke is funny,
but he manages a smile. His WIFE gives a nervous laugh. JAKE
leans over and kisses her.
JAKE (CONT'D)
You're a good sport, lady.
J.R.
I saw you fight Bob Satterfield in
'46, Jake. In Chicago. You were
great.
JAKE
Yeah, I really cleaned up on him.
J.R.
Where's your wife, Jake?
JAKE
Do you think I'd let her in a place
like this with guys like you
hangin' around?
JAKE feigns a few jabs, and they all laugh. He walks off.
As JAKE leaves, J.R. whispers to his FRIEND:
J. R.
You ought to see his wife.
JAKE steps over to a table where some of the "BOYS" are
sitting. RICKY is the Miami 1956 version of Salvy.
JAKE
Hey, Ricky, glad you came.
RICKY
Wouldn't miss it, Jake.
JAKE calls a WAITRESS over.
JAKE
Hey, honey, give these fellas a
round on me. I can tell they're
gonna be regular customers.
The WAITRESS says to a clearly underaged GIRL:
WAITRESS
I'll have to ask for your I.D.
JAKE leans over and gives the young GIRL a long kiss on the
lips. She enthusiastically reciprocates.
JAKE
Whew! Any girl that can kiss like
that can drink in my club any time!
They all laugh as JAKE moves on. The life of the party.
EXT. "JAKE LAMOTTA'S" - DAY
JAKE, hungover, his tux wrinkled, walks out of the club to
the adjacent parking lot.
VICKIE is sitting in her yellow Cadillac outside the Club.
The curbside window is halfway up. She calls to him:
VICKIE
Jake.
JAKE, chagrined, steps over to the car.
JAKE
I'm sorry. I had to work late last
night. Slept at the club.
VICKIE
I'm leaving your Jake.
JAKE
Sure, what else is new?
VICKIE
No. This time it's true. I didn't
bother to tell you until I had
everything worked out.
JAKE tries to open the door. It's locked.
JAKE
Open the door, Vickie.
VICKIE
No. I won't talk to you where you
can use your hands on me.
JAKE
Aw, c'mon. Don't say that.
VICKIE
I got a lawyer, Jake. We're getting
a divorce. I'm getting custody of
the kids.
JAKE
Aw, c'mon, Vick --
VICKIE
I'm sick of it. I can't watch you
this way. You're too drunk all the
time. There's too many girls. I
can't... I don't wanna talk about
it. I made up my mind.
JAKE tries to reach in the window, but VICKIE hits the power
switch, closing it and catching his hand. She now has to yell
to him:
VICKIE (CONT'D)
You got three days to get your
stuff out of the house. After that,
the cops will be there. I have the
kids with me. I never want to see
you again.
VICKIE turns her face and drives away.
JAKE grabs at the Cadillac, but it is bigger and stronger
than him.
JAKE is left alone in the parking lot. The car is gone.
INT. JAKE'S OFFICE - DAY (JAN. 9, 1957)
JAKE has an office above the lounge. Ever since VICKIE left,
it's also been his apartment.
The place is a mess. JAKE sends his laundry out when he runs
out of clean clothes. Dirty socks, shorts and shirts are
scattered randomly. Empty whiskey bottles on the desk, empty
beer cans in the wastebasket.
1ST DEPUTY
Let's go, Jake, wake up!
JAKE
Huh? Whadda ya mean, get up?
1ST DEPUTY
(showing badge)
We're from...
JAKE
(interrupting)
I know where you're from. You guys
look the same every place.
1ST DEPUTY
They wanna talk to you.
JAKE
About what?
1ST DEPUTY
I don't run the joint. They just
told me to bring you in.
JAKE
For what?
2ND DEPUTY
C'mon, get dressed.
JAKE hunts for his clothes.
JAKE
Hey, I'm a big tax payer down here.
Don't that entitle me to some
information what this is all about?
The SECOND DEPUTY shows JAKE a photo.
2ND DEPUTY
You recognize this girl? She been
in the club?
JAKE
I dunno.
2ND DEPUTY
She says you introduced her to men.
JAKE
I introduced a lot of people to
men. So what? What does that mean?
2ND DEPUTY
She's fourteen.
CLOSE UP of picture.
EXT. JAKE'S MIAMI HOUSE - DAY
JAKE, wearing a suit, walks up to the door and pushes the
bell.
VICKIE opens the door and looks at him over the chain.
JAKE
Vickie, open up. I need to come in.
VICKIE
Are you drunk?
JAKE
No. Open the door.
JAKE tries to touch her face through the doorway crack, but
she steps back.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Please, Vick. I won't bother you.
I'm out on bail. You can send the
kids next door. I just gotta pick
one thing up, then I'll get outa
here.
VICKIE thinks a moment, then opens the door and lets JAKE in.
VICKIE
The kids are sleeping.
JAKE
I promise I just gotta pick up one
thing.
VICKIE
All right, just don't make any
noise.
INT. JAKE'S MIAMI HOUSE - DAY
JAKE walks directly past VICKIE into the living room. VICKIE
watches from a safe distance.
JAKE removes his jewel-studded championship belt from the
glass bookcase and carries it into the kitchen.
In the kitchen, he takes a hammer and screwdriver out of a
drawer, places the belt on the counter top, and starts
digging the jewels out of it.
VICKIE appears in the doorway.
VICKIE
What are you doing?
JAKE
I need ten thousand dollars. My
lawyer says if we can spread ten
thousand bucks around, we can get
the case dropped.
VICKIE
But they don't have a case against
you.
JAKE
(digging at the belt)
Are you kiddin'? Did you ever see a
14-year-old testify in court? Did
you see the papers? "LaMotta on
Vice Rap." Everybody likes a shot
at the Champ.
VICKIE
Jake, be careful! What're you doing
to the belt?!
JAKE
Don't make no difference no more.
VICKIE
Can't you get the money from your
friends?
JAKE
What friends?
JAKE, frustrated by his task, turns the belt over and hammers
at it. The jewels scatter across the counter top and floor.
JAKE collects the jewels and puts them in his pockets.
INT. JEWELRY SHOP - DAY
JAKE stands at the counter of a small jewelry store. The
JEWELER examines the stones.
JEWELER
Didn't you also wish to sell the
Championship Belt, Mr. LaMotta?
JAKE
That's it. Those are the jewels
that were in the belt.
JEWELER
But where's the belt?
JAKE
You want the jewels or the belt?
JEWELER
Both. These stones are worth about
fifteen hudred dollars, but the
belt of a champion is a very rare
item. The belt with the stones
untouched would have been worth
near five thousand dollars.
JAKE seems to despair of the whole thing: the belt, the
attempt to raise 10 g's, the vice case, his life.
EXT. PHONE BOOTH - DAY
JAKE places a call from a booth outside the jewelry store.
JAKE
(on phone)
I can't raise the ten thousand.
Fuck 'em. Let 'em put me on trial.
INT. BARBIZON DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Same as Scene 1.
JAKE, 42 years old, continues to rehearse. He is seated
across from a mirror.
JAKE
So there I am in the can... and not
the one that says "gentlemen" on
the door. I'm talkin' about jail!
Down south!
I mean, jail up north is gotta be
like summer camp compared to jail
down in cracker country. And if
you're a guy like me, you ain't got
a chance in a place like that.
Especially if you're Italian... you
come from the Bronx... and you're
an ex-champ. As soon as they saw
me... soon as they heard me... I
know I'm in trouble. To me, they
got an accent, and to them, I got
an accent! You gotta get the
picture -- I'm big, I got small
hands, I walk like I'm still in the
ring... the balls of my feet pop up
and down, you know... and whenever
I get the chance, I read a lot. So
naturally, takin' all this into
co
sideration, they figure it adds up
to one thing -- I'm queer! Now I
didn't mind too much when they
called me "Queer" or "Mr. Tough
Guy" or "Yankee Punk"... But one
day these screws got to me... I was
workin' on the work gang, pickin'
up some trees that were knocked
down by a storm or somethin' and
puttin' 'em on this truck. All of a
sudden... one of the trees slipped
and fell on me and pinned me to the
ground. I'm lyin' there with a tree
across my chest! This screw walks
over, takin' his time, he looks
down at me and says, "Well, Champ
Pimp... you lyin' down on the job
again?"! They got a great sense of
humor when they're standin' there
with a gun in their arms and you
got a tree on your chest! So I look
up at him and say, "Oh, this
tree... it fell on me." And he
says, "Oh, I'm sorry... If I'd have
known, I would've yelled 'timber'"
I said, "Hey, look... it hurts. I
think maybe I broke somethin'!" He
says, "Well, whaddaya know... Champ
PImp's got himself a boo-boo." Then
I got as stupid as him. I said, "If
I'm Champ Pimp... how 'bout givin'
me the money you made last night?"!
Then another screw comes over and
says, "This Yankee creep givin' you
trouble?" -- What kind of trouble?
What am I gonna do -- hit 'em with
the tree? Now anybody else in their
right mind would've said, "No sir,
I wouldn't think of giving any of
you gentlemen trouble... I just
want to serve my time and get the
hell out of here as soon as I can."
That's anybody else. When I said
it... it was a little different.
"You stupid cracker... take your
hands off me or I'll get up and
kick your brains out -- but first
you gotta bend over so I can find
'em!" Next thing I know I'm in the
hole. Solitary confinement. All my
life I had guys in my corner
yellin' "Go get 'em, jake... kill
'em! You're the greatest." Now
there's nobody rootin' for me. But
it wasn't so bad. I learned things
there. I learned how to scratch a
calendar on the wall. I never knew
how to do that before. Now I know.
Monday is one scratch. Tuesday is
two scratches. Wednesday is three
scratches. And so on. Except for
Sundays. Sundays is no scratches.
Sundays rested.
INT. DADE COUNTY STOCKADE - DAY
The CAMERA TRACKS down the lonely corridors of the Dade
County Prison. Empty faces stare out from behind the bars.
JAKE is led down a long corridor by TWO GUARDS. His hands and
legs are manacled and chained.
The GUARDS, redneck screws both, take special pleasure in
working JAKE over.
They take JAKE to the "Hole" -- solitary confinement.
ONE of the GUARDS unmanacles JAKE.
Both GUARDS push JAKE into the cell and slam the door.
INT. THE HOLE - DAY OR NIGHT
A thin slit provides the only light in JAKE's cell.
The rough cement walls are covered with obscure graffiti. The
8x8x8 room features only a cot and a toilet.
The room is mostly darkness. Sounds are more tangible here
than sights.
WE SEE JAKE's body as it passes through the slit of light.
JAKE crouches into the corner away from the light. As WE SEE
JAKE's face, the following MONTAGE images appear.
(There will be contrasting sound effects accompanying the
images: for example, the image of JAKE hitting VICKIE might
be accompanied by the sounds from a love scene between them.)
A) 1940s black and white pornography: partially clothed men
and women engaged in explicit sex acts.
B) Boxing magazines: fighters' beaten and bloody faces. A
body building ad: Charles Atlas raises his muscled biceps.
C) Li'l Abner comics; Daisy Mae's tits seem about to fall
free.
D) Reprise from earlier scene: Back in JAKE and IRMA's old
apartment, JOEY, using a towel as a glove, punches JAKE in
the face.
E) A 1934 "OLDER GIRL" sashays into the candy store in
flickering 8mm black and white footage. WE SEE ohter Bronx
PRETEEN GIRLS walking, smiling.
F) At Shorehaven pool, JAKE and JOEY, in bathing suits, are
sleeping in the sun next to each other. OTHER BATHERS are
around, also taking in the sun.
G) Reprise from earlier scene: As in D, JOEY hits JAKE in the
face again.
WE SEE again the image of JAKE's face as he sits in his cell.
The MONTAGE continues:
H) JANIRO's face at the weigh-in.
I) JAKE throws JANIRO a kiss at the weigh-in.
J) JAKE punches in JANIRO's face.
K) A naked GIRL stands in the doorway of a bedroom.
L) JAKE lies in bed with IRMA staring at the ceiling.
M) VICKIE's pretty young face DOUBLE EXPOSES with SUGAR RAY
ROBINSON's.
N) DR. PINTO injects novacaine into JAKE's fists.
O) Sitting in his corner of the ring, JAKE spits blood into a
pail...
P) Still in JAKE's corner: JOEY wipes off his brother's
bloody face.
Q) Still in JAKE's corner: There is an open cut over JAKE's
eye. JOEY, rushing against time, sucks the blood from the
wound as DR. PINTO begins to examine it.
R) Still in JAKE's corner: JOEY puts the mouthpiece in JAKE's
mouth. (SLOW MOTION)
S) JAKE wins over CERDAN. JOEY, overenthusiastic, hits JAKE
on the back of the head a little too hard. JAKE gives JOEY a
quick look, but JOEY just embraces him.
T) On a bed, a GIRL is going down on JOEY. The GIRL turns and
looks up at JAKE. It's LINDA, the waitress from his club.
JAKE stares.
U) JAKE's fist hits LINDA's face.
V) VICKIE playfully bends JAKE's hand back, pretending to
break it.
W) JAKE hits LINDA again. She cries.
X) Repeat image N: DR. PINTO injects novocaine into JAKE's
fists.
WE SEE again the image of JAKE's face as he sits in his cell.
The MONTAGE continues:
Y) VICKIE is in her underwear in a bedroom. A pair of black
arms come in and embrace her body.
Z) CLOSE UP of JAKE; he reacts to this. He's in the ring with
SUGAR RAY. He knocks SUGAR RAY out of the ring.
AA) VICKIE again. JAKE approaches her from behind, pulls her
head back by her hair, and slaps her.
BB) THE ANNOUNCER points to SUGAR RAY as the winner.
(Different fight.) CAMERA PANS to RAY, victorious, his arms
up.
CC) A bloodied JAKE comes over to SUGAR RAY and embraces him.
WE ARE BACK WITH JAKE in the cell. He slowly starts to bang
his head against the wall.
JAKE
(murmuring)
Why, why, why?
(with each bang of his
head)
I'm a man, I'm a man. I'm no
faggot. I'm not a faggot. Ma, why?
What do they want? My cock's not
enough. What do they want from me?
Why? Ma? Why?
JAKE is now smashing the wall with all his strength --
vicious body punches.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Why, why, why me? You took it away
from me. They took everything away.
What do they want from me? What the
fuck do they want from me? I ain't
bad. I ain't bad. I'm not that guy.
I'm not that guy. I'm not a
monster. I'm not an animal.
JAKE breaks his knuckles; the pain and blood are unbearable.
JAKE collapses to the concrete floor. His hands are smashed.
He cries, then sobs.
JAKE (CONT'D)
I'm not like that. Please. I'm not
like that. Please. Please. Please.
Then silence.
We begin to hear: JAKE doing a monologue.
JAKE (CONT'D)
And so, as Shakespeare said, I've
been down so low there's nowhere
else to go.
INT. METROPOLE - NIGHT (1958)
The Metropole is a club on 7th Avenue off Times Square.
JAKE LAMOTTA, 36 years old and wearing a hip Fifties suit,
continues his monologue.
JAKE
Except here, gentlemen, with you
bums. I call you "gentlemen"... but
you know what you really are! You
know, this place used to be pretty
exclusive... now they got bouncers
outside to throw the drunks in! My
first night here I said to the
boss, "Where's the toilet?" -- He
said, "You're in it!" By the way,
this engagement is just a stepping
stone for me. If I do good here,
I'm ready to get out of the
business!
The CROWD starts to shout: "Get the fuck off the stage!"
JAKE (CONT'D)
OK, OK, I know what you're waitin'
for -- and from the looks of you,
you been waitin' for it for a long
time. I had my own joint in Miami
Beach once... it was too high-class
for you guys... we had a 50-cent
minimum charge just to keep out the
riff-raff!
The CROWD continues to shout, as before, also shouting:
"Bring out the girls!"
JAKE (CONT'D)
Hey, sorry. Here's your girls.
(grabs his crotch)
Yeah, she's here... just like it's
advertised out front. She's come
back. A girl who's seen the Lower
Depths... who's been as far as I
have in that direction. She's on
her way back up now... give you an
idea how low she was! Let's give
her a warm welcome... make her glad
she's back, boys. -- Miss Emma
48's!
JAKE gets off the stage as MISS EMMA 48's goes into her
dance. He goes over to the bar and gets a drink. SEVERAL
OLDER MEN in T-shirts - a disreputable looking lot - are at
the bar.
EXT. METROPOLE - NIGHT
The Club is closing. JAKE and EMMA, the stripper, come out
and walk by a delicatessen on their way to a parking lot.
JAKE sees his brother JOEY enter the delicatessen.
JAKE
Look, sweetie, be a good girl.
Here's some money. Take a cab. Go
home by yourself. Just wanna walk
around a little, sort of unwind.
OK?
EMMA
Will I see you later?
JAKE
Yeah. I dunno... I'll call you.
JAKE goes to the parking lot entrance as EMMA gets into a
cab.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT
It's about twenty minutes later.
DOLLY INTO A MEDIUM SHOT of JAKE waiting by the parking lot.
He looks at the delicatessen.
JOEY finally comes out carrying a paper bag. Not noticing
JAKE, he walks right past him to his car which is parked near
the rear of the outdoor lot.
JAKE
Hey, Joey --
JAKE walks towards JOEY with his hand outstretched.
JOEY looks at JAKE. Silence. JOEY turns his back and starts
to get into his car.
JAKE runs over to JOEY and grabs his shoulder.
JAKE (CONT'D)
No, Joey, no. Look, wait a minute,
please --
JOEY looks at JAKE like he's shit, throws JAKE's hand off his
shoulder, and starts to get into his car again.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Aw, Joey --
JAKE stops JOEY from getting into his car. He puts his hand
on JOEY's shoulder again.
JAKE (CONT'D)
You're right. You're perfectly
right. You got every right in the
world to hate my guts.
JOEY pulls away from JAKE's hand, and tries to put the paper
bag into the front seat of the car.
JAKE (CONT'D)
No, please. I know I was a
cocksucker. You're right. I shoulda
never raised my hands to you.
JOEY half pushes JAKE away, and begins to get into his car
again.
JAKE pulls JOEY by the arm.
JAKE (CONT'D)
No, Joey, listen to me --
JAKE pulls too hard, causing JOEY to drop the paper bag to
his feet. The containers of coffee and tea in the bag break
open and splatter JOEY's pants legs.
JOEY stares down at his pants, then up at JAKE. Suddenly, he
belts JAKE with a left and a right to the jaw. JAKE is taken
by surprise, and backs off to get his own hands up.
JOEY keeps pouring it on. JAKE drops his hands and takes it.
JAKE (CONT'D)
Go ahead.
(gets punched)
Hit me again.
(gets punched)
I deserve it...
(gets punched)
Pay me back...
(gets punched)
More...
(gets punched)
JOEY stops in mid-punch and stares at JAKE. He can't figure
it out.
JAKE nods and tries to smile, but starts to cry instead.
JAKE (CONT'D)
More. Go ahead, Joey. I deserve it.
JOEY pauses, then finally throws a very weak punch to JAKE's
shoulder.
He leaves his hand there -- then, uncurls his fist -- and
finally puts his hand around JAKE's neck as tears start to
fill his eyes.
JOEY hugs JAKE close to him, crying.
They hug each other, both crying. They don't say anything.
EXT. BARBIZON PLAZA THEATER - NIGHT (1964)
The theater lights are flashing.
This may not be Broadway, but it's a long way from the
Metropole. The entrance to the Barbizon looks out on the
corner of 6th Avenue and Central Park South.
A stand-up billboard in front of the theater advertises "An
Evening with Jake LaMotta." The billboard also lists the
authors whose works will be performed: Paddy Chayevsky, Rod
Serling, Shakespeare, Bud Schulberg, Tennessee Williams.
INT. BARBIZON DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Same as Scenes One and Eighty-One.
JAKE is alone preparing to go onstage. He rehearses.
JAKE
You know, I'm not a philosopher or
anything like that but I been
around a little and the way I look
at it is -- We're, all of us,
lookin' for the same thing: a shot
at the title. No matter what you
wanta be... you wanta shot at bein'
the best. Well, I had mine and
it'll always be in the record
books... it don't make no
difference what happens to me from
here on in -- I got my shot and
that's a fact. Some guys weren't
that lucky... like the one Marlon
Brando played in "On the
Waterfront" -- an up and comer
who's now a down and outer. You
remember... there was this scene in
the back of the car with his
brother Charlie, a small-time
racket guy, and it went somethin'
like this -- "It wasn't him,
Charlie. It was you. You 'member
that night in the Garden you came
down my dressing room and said.
'Kid, this ain't your night.
We're going for the price on
Wilson.' You 'member that? 'This
ain't your night!' My night -- I
coulda taken Wilson apart! So what
happens? He gets the title shot
outdoors on the ballpark, and what
do I get? A one-way ticket to
Palookaville. I never was no good
after that night. It was like a
peak you reach. Then it went
downhill. It was you, Charlie. You
was my brother, Charlie. You
shoulda looked out for me a little
bit. You shoulda taken care of me
just a little bit so I wouldn't
have to take them dives for the
short end money... You don't
understand! I coulda had class. I
coulda been a contender. I coulda
been somebody -- instead of a bum,
which is what I am. Let's face it.
It was you, Charlie."
A shadow goes by the frame; it's a STAGEHAND.
STAGEHAND (O.S.)
Hey Jake, how you doing?
The shadow exits.
JAKE
How long do I have?
The shadow pops in again.
STAGEHAND (O.S.)
About five minutes
The shadow exits.
JAKE
OK.
JAKE pauses, then starts to shadow-box in his dressing room.
His breath comes in quick gasps. His feet pop up and down
like they were on canvas. His tiny fists jerk forward with
short bursts of light.
Still alive. Still a contender. A 42-year-old man fighting
for his shot.
The CAMERA DOLLIES into a FULL SHOT of his fists as they hit
the empty air -- in and out of the frame.
This quote appears: (Music in)
"Verily, verily I say unto thee,
Except a man be born again,
He can not enter into the kingdom of heaven..."
John 3-3
The CAMERA goes into DARKNESS.
The END CREDITS roll up.
THE END
| screenplays |
Five killed, several injured as blast strikes Chaman
At least five people were killed and fifteen others were injured on Monday when a blast ripped through Chaman in Balochistan.
The injured had been shifted to a nearby hospital. The bomb reportedly targetted a vehicle of the Anti-Narcotics Force (ANF).
An additional contingent of police officials and Levies have arrived at the Mall Road in Chaman and cordoned off the area while further investigation is underway.
According to reports, the blast was planted in a motorcycle. Many cars parked in the area were damaged due to the intensity of the blast.
Prime Minister Imran Khan, in a statement posted on the PM Office's Twitter account, condemned the incident and expressed grief for the lives lost.
Chaman is considered a sensitive town in Balochistan as it shares a border with Afghanistan's volatile Kandahar province. In March this year, at least nine people were injured in an explosion near the Levies Lines of the town. The attack targetted Levies Risaldar Maj Naseebullah, who remained safe.
Balochistan has recently seen an increase in terrorist attacks. Last month at least one person was killed, while seven were injured in an explosion in a bazaar in Turbat that was also caused by an IED planted in a motorbike.
Earlier in May, seven soldiers, including a junior commissioned officer, were martyred in a bomb blast and an exchange of fire with militants. | slim_pajama |
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The Re-Read: Kurdo Baksi on Stieg Larsson
2022 MOTIVE In-Person Event The Re-Read
Join us as we explore influential books and writers who define a genre and have captivated readers for decades. Each session brings a contemporary writer sharing a favourite book or author, offering their insight as an author and sharing their joy as a reader. In this session, Kurdo Baksi discusses the work of the late Stieg Larsson. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest make up Larsson's Millenium Trilogy, a series that redefined the impact of Nordic Noir. With Swedish author Stieg Larsson's death in 2004, Baksi penned a memoir about the legacy, feminism and work of his long-time friend.
Interviewer: Catherine Graham
Ticket Info:
Date & Time: June 4 at 1:30pm ET
Where: Main Loft at Harbourfront Centre
Ticket prices: $16.50 – Regular; $12.50 – Youth; or Get the All-Access Pass
*This event will be followed by a book signing
Please note, there was a change of venue for this event. It will now take place in the Main Loft at Harbourfront Centre at 1:30pm ET.
Supported by the Swedish Arts Council, and Nordic Bridges and Harbourfront Centre.
Stieg Larsson, My Friend
Buy Now (Indigo)
Buy Now (Kobo)
Kurdo Baksi
Photo credit: Marion Voysey
Catherine Graham
Reflecting the city to its residents,
its literature to the nation,
and its creative ambition to the world
Harbourfront Festival Prize
Delegate Programme
IV Programme
Lit ON Tour
© Toronto International Festival of Authors. 2023. All rights reserved. | slim_pajama |
the existence of intergalactic magnetic fields has been speculated for nearly half a century largely motivated by the observation of micro gauss fields in galaxies and clusters of galaxies .
a primordial magnetic field can be a crucial ingredient for the formation of stars and galaxies @xcite and its properties can open a window to the early universe in the domain of very high energy particle interactions of matter @xcite .
it is not surprising then that substantial theoretical effort has been devoted to discover ways to generate primordial magnetic fields ( for recent reviews , see ) , understand their implications for the present state of the universe ( e.g. , @xcite ) , and to observe them using an array of tools ( e.g. , see @xcite and references therein ) .
until relatively recently , various cosmological observables yielded an upper bound on the magnetic field strength at the nano gauss level ( e.g. @xcite ) , and blazar observations have placed lower bounds at the @xmath0 level @xcite .
an important development in the last few years is an appreciation of the importance of magnetic helicity in the generation and evolution of cosmological magnetic fields .
this has led to the exciting possibility to use the cp odd nature of the helicity to discover intergalactic magnetic fields @xcite .
further , the helicity of the intergalactic magnetic field provides an unmistakable handle by which one can study detailed stochastic properties .
we have implemented these ideas to observe and measure the strength of the intergalactic magnetic field and its correlation functions using diffuse gamma ray data from the fermi - lat satellite @xcite .
our analysis and ( updated ) results are reviewed in sec .
[ sec : review ] where we also test and confirm predictions made in @xcite . the successful predictions bolster confidence in the intergalactic magnetic field hypothesis .
yet there are some other tests that are also essential to rule out other more mundane explanations related to the observational techniques .
foremost among these is that fermi - lat observations are not performed uniformly on the sky ; instead different parts of the sky are sampled with ( slightly ) different time exposures .
we now take the time exposure map into account in our monte carlo simulations which we use to calculate statistical error bars .
this results in larger error bars but the signal found in @xcite persists with high significance .
another test is that fermi - lat provides two data sets for the diffuse gamma ray sky , namely the clean and ultraclean data sets , the former being recommended for analyses of the diffuse background but the latter is the most conservative .
the analysis in @xcite used the clean data set but , throughout this paper , we use ultraclean , with essentially no change in results .
a third test is that a cosmological signal should be present over the whole sky , in particular it should be seen in both the northern and southern hemispheres .
so we analyze the north and south data sets separately .
the results show a much stronger signal in the north and a weaker signal in the south . at present
we do not have a good explanation for the difference in the strengths of the signal . in sec .
[ sec : qrmh ] we turn our attention to connecting the observed correlator of gamma rays described in sec . [ sec : review ] to the correlation function of magnetic fields .
the analytical framework has already been set up in @xcite .
we now use that framework to give a `` proof of principles '' reconstruction of the intergalactic magnetic field helical correlator .
we conclude in sec .
[ conclusions ] .
consider the location vectors , @xmath1 , of gamma rays of energy @xmath2 on the galactic sky . as motivated in @xcite
, we consider the triple - product correlator at energies @xmath3 , @xmath4 where the indices @xmath5 , @xmath6 , and @xmath7 refer to different photons at energy @xmath8 , @xmath9 and @xmath10 respectively . the top - hat window function @xmath11 is given by w_r ( ) = 1 , & for @xmath12 + 0 , & otherwise . the statistic can also be written as @xmath13 where _ a = _
i d(n_k(e_3),r ) n_i ( e_a ) , a=1,2 and @xmath14 is the `` disk '' or `` patch '' with center at the location of @xmath15 and with angular radius @xmath16 .
to calculate @xmath17 from data , we bin the data in the energy ranges ( 10,20 ) , ( 20,30 ) , ( 30,40 ) , ( 40,50 ) and ( 50,60 ) gev .
( the energies @xmath2 will refer to the lower end of the bin . ) we also realize that the data will be contaminated by gamma rays from the milky way and from other identified sources @xcite .
these are avoided by only considering @xmath10 photons at very high galactic latitudes , @xmath18 , and by excising a patch of angular radius @xmath19 centered on sources identified in the first lat high - energy catalog @xcite . versus @xmath16 for the ultraclean data set for weeks 9 - 328 for @xmath20 .
the data points are shown with standard - error error bars .
the monte carlo error bars ( magenta ) are generated under the isotropic assumption .
data points that deviate by more than 2@xmath21 are colored in red .
, width=566 ] in contrast to the analysis in @xcite which used the fermi - lat clean data set , in this paper we will use the more conservative ultraclean data set for fermi - lat observation weeks 9 - 328 . with the latest release of the fermi science tools , v9r33p0 , we follow the fermi team recommendations to select good quality data with a zenith angle cut of @xmath22 . however , the results are very similar with the use of either data set . in fig . [ upto30degrees ]
we show plots of @xmath23 for various energy combinations @xmath24 ; @xmath10 is always taken to be @xmath25 . in these plots
we also show the spreads obtained from monte carlo simulations assuming that diffuse gamma ray background is isotropically distributed . in sec .
[ sec : exposure ] we will improve on the monte carlo simulations by using the fermi - lat time exposure map .
another feature in fig .
[ upto30degrees ] is that we have extended our analysis to @xmath26 .
this is to test the prediction in @xcite that @xmath27 should have a peak at r_peak(e_2 ) r_peak , 0 ( ) ^3/2 [ rpeak ] where @xmath28 is the location of the peak when @xmath29 .
the plot with @xmath30 and @xmath31 has a peak at @xmath32 .
this implies that all plots with @xmath31 should also have peaks at @xmath32 , a feature that is confirmed in fig .
[ upto30degrees ]
. then eq .
( [ rpeak ] ) can be used with @xmath33 , @xmath34 to predict peaks at @xmath35 in the @xmath36 and @xmath37 plots .
this feature is clearly seen in the @xmath36 plot in fig .
[ upto30degrees ] , but a clear peak is not present in the @xmath37 plot .
there should also be an inverted peak for @xmath38 at @xmath39 .
however , as we will see in sec . [ constructnue ] , at such large angles , the milky way contribution becomes very strong and we do not see any indication of the cosmological signal .
we also note that all the identified peaks in fig . [ upto30degrees ]
are inverted , as we would expect from magnetic fields with left - handed helicity provided the spectrum is not too steep @xcite .
we summarize the peak data in table [ peaktable ] as we will use it in later sections when we model the magnetic field . [
cols="^,^,^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] the magnetic helicity spectrum is now given by eq .
( [ qinfty ] ) which we re - write as @xmath40 where @xmath41 , @xmath42 and m_ab [ mabdef ] in our case , we have observed four peaks , and so we have four such equations , 6 cm + - & = & 2.2 + 6 cm + - & = & 4.1 + 6 cm + - & = & 0.3 + 6.2 cm + - & = & 0.1 [ simultaneous ] these 4 simultaneous linear equations involve 8 unknowns : @xmath43 . thus the system does not have a unique solution and additional physical input is required . for the present analysis
, we will consider three cases : ultra - blue spectrum in which the spectrum vanishes at large distances , ultra - red spectrum in which the spectrum vanishes at small distances , and a power law spectrum . in the case of the ultra - red spectrum , we assume that the spectrum on the smallest length scales vanish : @xmath44 and solve for @xmath45 .
this does not work , however , because the assumption is inconsistent with eq .
( [ simultaneous ] ) , as the left - hand side vanishes while the right - hand side is non - vanishing .
thus , at least with these simple assumptions , the data does not fit an ultra - red spectrum . in the ultra - blue spectrum case , we set @xmath46 for the larger values of @xmath47 in table [ dabtable ] .
then @xmath48 and the only non - zero unknowns to solve for are @xmath49 .
the solution is ( d , m)_45 = ( 12,367 ) , ( d , m)_34 = ( 18,-75 ) , ( d , m)_35 = ( 31,128 ) , ( d , m)_24 = ( 49,-93 ) , ( ultra - blue assumption ) [ bluesoln ] where we also show the distance scale of the correlation ( in mpc ) .
next we would like to go from @xmath50 to @xmath51 by using eq .
( [ mabdef ] ) . here
we need to resolve the discrete `` charge ambiguity '' factors @xmath52 . to understand how these factors arise , recall that pair production by tev gamma rays results in electrons and positrons .
these carry opposite electric charges and are bent in opposite ways in a magnetic field .
the cascade gamma rays we eventually observe could have arisen due to inverse compton scattering of an electron or a positron .
this ambiguity is encapsulated in @xmath53 where @xmath54 represents the sign of the charge of the particle that resulted in the observed gamma ray of energy @xmath55 . to determine @xmath52 we work with the assumption that the magnetic helicity power spectrum , @xmath56 , has the same sign over the distance scales of interest .
then there are two cases to consider : @xmath57 or @xmath58 . if we assume @xmath57 , then with the signs of @xmath50 in eq .
( [ bluesoln ] ) , we get @xmath59 , @xmath60 , @xmath61 and @xmath62 .
multiplying the first three relations gives @xmath63 , which has no real solutions .
hence there is no consistent solution with @xmath57 . on the other hand , if we assume @xmath58 , we need @xmath64 , @xmath65 , @xmath66 and @xmath67 .
then @xmath68 is a solution ( with either choice of @xmath69 ) . with this solution ,
we find ( d_ab , |d_ab| m_h(|d_ab| ) = ( 12,-3.7 ) , ( 18,-0.7 ) , ( 31,-1.3 ) , ( 49,-0.9 ) , ( ultra - blue assumption ) where @xmath47 is in mpc and the correlator is in units of @xmath70 ^ 2 $ ] .
however , this estimate of the helical power spectrum with the ultra - blue assumption is in tension with the estimate of the magnetic field strength based on the peak location , @xmath71 , since the magnetic helicity density is bounded by the energy density of the magnetic field via the so - called `` realizability condition '' @xcite .
another approach is to assume that the helicity power spectrum has a power law dependence on distance , r m_h(r ) = a ( ) ^p ^2 g^2 and then determine the best fit values of @xmath72 and @xmath73 by minimizing the error function e(a , p ) = _
i=1 ^ 4 ( -1 ) _
i^2 where @xmath74 labels the four simultaneous equations in eq .
( [ simultaneous ] ) , `` lhs '' and `` rhs '' refer to the left - hand side and right - hand side of those equations , and we set @xmath75 .
note that the construction of @xmath76 gives equal weight to the four equations ; for example , if we define the error via @xmath77 , this would give greater weight to equations with larger @xmath78 .
then we obtain the best fit values a = 2.08 , p = + 0.56 [ mhbestfit ] which suggests a mildly red spectrum .
we would like to caution the reader that the results of this section depend on the assumption @xmath79 as given in table [ nuetable ] which is probably not accurate .
the intent of the above analysis is to show that a reconstruction of the helical power spectrum may be possible once a definitive model for @xmath23 is established .
we have re - examined the finding in @xcite that the parity - odd correlator , @xmath23 , of fermi - lat observed gamma rays does not vanish .
we have used the most recent data ( weeks 9 - 328 ) and find that the signal originally found in data up to september 2013 persists and is , in fact , a little stronger ( see https://sites.physics.wustl.edu/magneticfields/wiki/index.php/search_for_cp_violation_in_the_gamma-ray_sky for a time sequence of results ) .
we have also successfully tested the prediction of a peak in the ( 10,30 ) data around @xmath80 @xcite and the locations of the peaks in the other panels as seen in fig . [ upto30degrees ] .
building on the model of @xcite , we find that all the peak locations in fig .
[ upto30degrees ] can be explained by a single value of the magnetic field strength : @xmath81 ( see fig .
[ rpeakvsb ] ) .
the plots of @xmath23 in the northern and southern hemispheres separately show similar signals in some energy panels but not in others ( fig .
[ northsouthfig ] ) , for which we do not have an explanation .
the peak amplitudes have then been used to reconstruct the magnetic helicity spectrum under the assumptions of either an ultra - red spectrum or an ultra - blue spectrum .
the assumption of an ultra - red spectrum does not yield a solution ; the assumption of an ultra - blue spectrum yields the helicity power spectrum at four distance scales , however the field amplitude is in tension with the realizability condition .
the sign of the helicity depends on the sign of the charged particles that are responsible for the inverse compton scattering of the cmb photons .
we find that this sign ambiguity has a unique resolution if we assume that the spectrum is either everywhere positive or everywhere negative _
i.e. _ @xmath57 or @xmath58 at all distance scales , in which case the helicity is negative ( left - handed ) .
we have also worked with the assumption that the helicity spectrum is a power law to find the best fit amplitude and exponent as given in eq .
( [ mhbestfit ] ) .
the reconstruction of the power spectrum should be considered a `` proof of principle '' and not a definitive claim since it assumes a noise to signal ratio , @xmath82 , and also certain other assumptions , _
e.g. _ that the helical spectrum does not change sign over the length scales of interest .
we have made several improvements on the analysis to check the robustness of the results .
the change from the fermi - lat clean to ultraclean data set makes no difference to the signal ; the error bars obtained from monte carlo simulations that include the fermi - lat time exposure are larger but the signal is still statistically significant at the @xmath83 level . another outcome of our analysis in sec .
[ constructnue ] is that the milky way starts contributing to the gamma ray data set at @xmath84 for the 10 gev bin and at yet larger @xmath16 for higher energies ( fig .
[ ntvsr ] ) .
even though our non - trivial signals occur at @xmath85 , this raises the question if the milky way is somehow responsible for the signal we are detecting .
this seems unlikely to us for several reasons :
( i ) we observe a signal even in the ( 30,40 ) gev data set where contamination is seen to be minimal , ( ii ) the signal has a peak structure whereas milky way contamination would presumably lead to a monotonically increasing signal at large @xmath16 , and ( iii ) that the whole pattern of peak locations fits the helical magnetic field hypothesis very well . to further confirm the signal , as more data is accumulated , we could restrict attention to only the higher energies but reduce the bin size , _
e.g. _ in 5 gev bin widths instead of the current 10 gev bins .
the higher energies would limit the milky way contamination and the several ( smaller ) bins would still give us the magnetic helicity spectrum over a range of distance scales .
we are grateful to a large number of colleagues who have made suggestions for further tests of our results in @xcite .
we would especially like to thank jim buckley , dieter horns , owen littlejohns , andrew long , guenter sigl , david spergel , and neal weiner for their remarks .
this work was supported by mext s program for leading graduate schools `` phd professional : gateway to success in frontier asia , '' the japan society for promotion of science ( jsps ) grant - in - aid for scientific research ( no .
25287057 ) and the doe at asu and at wu . | arxiv |
Resistor circuit that isn't parallel or series
What's the equivalent resistance in this circuit (between points A and B)?
I'll give the answer to this question using an unusual method that showed up in the American Mathematical Monthly's problem section perhaps in the late 1970s. This is not necessarily the easy way to solve the problem, but it works out nicely from an algebraic point of view.
The way most people solve most resistance problems is to use series and parallel resistor rules. These are mathematically elegant in that they involve only resistance. But this circuit cannot be reduced to series and parallel rules (is this true if you write an infinite series in R3, perhaps?), so probably the most straightforward method is to apply a voltage of V to the circuit and use algebra to work out the total current. This is inelegant (but physical) in that it introduces ideas other than resistance itself.
The "delta" method mentioned by Manishearth, (but at this time not actually worked out to the final answer) is how an EE would solve the problem. It has the advantage of sticking with resistance, but it involves somewhat unintuitive changes to the topology of the circuit.
The method I'm giving here uses only resistances and illustrates a general solution to this sort of problem. If one generalizes the $R\_k$ to complex numbers $Z\_k$, it can be used for general impedances (as can the delta method), but it is more general than the delta method. It also may help with student's understanding of sheet resistance so I think it's worth my time to type it in:
---
First, we replace the resistors with thin flat material that happens to have a "[sheet resistance](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheet_resistance)" of 1 ohm per square. With such a material, if we cut out a rectangle of dimensions 1 x R, we will obtain a resistance of R ohms between two conductors attached to the 1 length sides:
Now the thing about sheet resistance is that you can scale the resistor to whatever size you like; so long as you keep the ratio of the side lengths as "R", the resulting resistor will have resistance R. The sheet can be made up of little sheets that are pasted together. To do the pasting correctly, we need to use insulating glue for the horizontal connections and conducting glue for the vertical connections. This is because current only flows from left to right. So the insulating glue doesn't help or hinder the current flow, and the vertical connections don't matter because all the conducting glue has the same voltage anyway. I saw this method of computing resistors in [a solution to problem E2459 at the American Mathematical Monthly, February 1975](http://www.jstor.org/stable/2319671).
So replace the given circuit with one where each resistor is replaced by a rectangular region with dimensions appropriate for its resistance. In doing this, we have to make an assumption about which way current flows through resistor R3. I'll assume it flows from top to bottom. And in order to set a scale for the whole thing, let's make the vertical dimension of R3 to be length 1. This gives us the following drawing:
Now the overall circuit has a resistance given by the ratio of its length to its width:
$$R = L/W = (R\_1 x\_1 + R\_2x\_2)/(x\_1+x\_4)$$
There are four unknowns, $\{x\_1,x\_2,x\_4,x\_5\}$. Comparing horizontal dimensions gives two independent equations:
$$R\_1x\_1 = R\_4x\_4 + R\_3,$$
$$R\_5x\_5 = R\_3 + R\_2x\_2.$$
And comparing vertical dimensions gives:
$$x\_1 = 1 + x\_2,$$
$$x\_5 = 1 + x\_4.$$
This eliminates $x\_1$ and $x\_5$ to give two independent equations in two unknowns:
$$R\_1 + R\_1x\_2 = R\_4x\_4 + R\_3,$$
$$R\_5 + R\_5x\_4 = R\_3 + R\_2x\_2.$$
Or:
$$ R\_1x\_2 - R\_4x\_4 = R\_3-R\_1,$$
$$-R\_2x\_2+ R\_5x\_4 = R\_3-R\_5 .$$
These solve to give:
$$ x\_2 = \frac{R\_3R\_5-R\_1R\_5 + R\_3R\_4-R\_4R\_5}{R\_1R\_5-R\_2R\_4},$$
$$ x\_4 = \frac{R\_1R\_3-R\_1R\_5 + R\_2R\_3-R\_1R\_2}{R\_1R\_5-R\_2R\_4},$$
and so
$$ x\_1 = \frac{R\_3R\_5-R\_2R\_4 + R\_3R\_4-R\_4R\_5}{R\_1R\_5-R\_2R\_4},$$
$$ x\_5 = \frac{R\_1R\_3-R\_2R\_4 + R\_2R\_3-R\_1R\_2}{R\_1R\_5-R\_2R\_4},$$
We need $W=x\_1+x\_4:$
$$W = \frac{R\_3(R\_1+R\_2+R\_4+R\_5)-(R\_1+R\_4)(R\_2+R\_5)}{R\_1R\_5-R\_2R\_4}$$
and $L = R\_1x\_1+R\_2x\_2:$
$$L = \frac{R\_3(R\_4+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_2)-R\_1R\_2(R\_4+R\_5)-R\_4R\_5(R\_1+R\_2)}{R\_1R\_5-R\_2R\_4}$$
so the total resistance is:
$$R = L/W = \frac{R\_1R\_4(R\_2+R\_5)+R\_2R\_5(R\_1+R\_4)-R\_3(R\_4+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_2)}{(R\_2+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_4)-R\_3((R\_1+R\_2)+(R\_4+R\_5))}.$$
In the above, I've grouped terms in order to make it clear that this gives the correct answer in the limit of $R\_3$ goes to $0$ or $\infty$.
Use a [star-delta transform](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y-%CE%94_transform) to simplify part of the circuit. You may also use the principle of superposition.
```
A x----x-----[1]-----x-----[2]-----x----x B
| | |
[4] [3] [5]
| | |
|-------------x-------------|
```
$\uparrow$ Fig.1. OP's original circuit.
As suggested by Manishearth, one can perform a [$Y$-$\Delta$ transform](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y-%CE%94_transform) from $Y$-resistances $R\_1$, $R\_2$ and $R\_3$, to $\Delta$-conductances $G\_1$, $G\_2$ and $G\_3$ (using a $123$ symmetric labeling convention), cf. Fig.2 below.
```
A x----x------x-----[3]-----x------x----x B
| | | |
[4] [2] [1] [5]
| | | |
|------x-------------x------|
```
$\uparrow$ Fig.2. A $\Delta$-equivalent circuit to OP's original circuit.
In terms of formulas, the $Y$-$\Delta$ transformation is given as
$$ G\_i ~:=~ R\_i \frac{\sum\_{j=1}^3 R\_j}{\prod\_{k=1}^3 R\_k}~=~ R\_i \frac{R\_1+R\_2+R\_3}{R\_1 R\_2 R\_3},\qquad\qquad i=1,2,3. $$
The $\Delta$-equivalent circuit in Fig.2 can be viewed as composed of only [series and parallel resistors](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Series_and_parallel_circuits). The equivalent [conductance](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electrical_conductance) between $A$ and $B$ therefore becomes
$$ \frac{1}{R}~=~G\_3+\frac{1}{\frac{1}{G\_2+\frac{1}{R\_4}} +\frac{1}{G\_1+\frac{1}{R\_5}}}. $$
(Finally let us mention that it is also possible to apply the $Y$-$\Delta$ transform to other triples of the five resistors than $123$.)
Here is how I would do it, following the method outlined by kleingordon in a comment. This method is less cool but more general than Carl Brannen's answer, because it will work even in the case where there are crossing wires and you can't rearrange it into a single sheet of resistive material.
Let the electric potential at $A$ be $V\_A$ and that at $B$ be $V\_B$. Also, let the potential on the wire that connects $R\_1$ to $R\_2$ and $R\_3$ be $V\_C$ and let the potential on the wire connecting $R\_4$ to $R\_3$ and $R\_5$ be $V\_D$. We know that the current across each resistor must equal the potential difference divided by the resistance, so we have
$$I\_1 = R\_1(V\_A - V\_C)$$
$$I\_2 = R\_2(V\_C - V\_B)$$
$$I\_3 = R\_3(V\_C - V\_D)$$
$$I\_4 = R\_4(V\_A - V\_D)$$
$$I\_5 = R\_5(V\_D - V\_B).$$
We also know that the current must be conserved at every junction, which gives us
$$ I\_1 + I\_2 = I\_4 + I\_5 $$
$$ I\_1 = I\_2 + I\_3 $$
$$ I\_4 + I\_3 = I\_5, $$
but the last of these three equations is redundant because it can be derived from the other two, so there are seven equations in total, in nine unknowns (five currents and four potentials).
We want to calculate the resistance, which is given by $(V\_A-V\_B)/(I\_1+I\_2).$ Since everything's linear we can assume without loss of generality that $V\_B=0$ and $V\_A=1$. This gives us seven equations in seven unknowns, which we can solve to find the answer.
I haven't worked it through because it's a bit laborious (I'd probably use a computer algebra system rather than doing it by hand) but it should give the same answer as Carl Brannen's method.
Following on from A Googler's comment to Carl Brannen's answer:
>
> But I think $R\_1x\_1=R\_4x\_4−R\_3$ and $R\_5x\_5=R\_2x\_2−R\_3.$ What I'm doing wrong? Please explain
>
>
>
If you follow this correction through, (ie. swap your subscript 1's and 4's, and 2's and 5's in your opening horizontal consideration - the vertical statements do not need changing), then you achieve a similar result to:
>
> $$
> R = L/W = \frac{R\_1R\_4(R\_2+R\_5)+R\_2R\_5(R\_1+R\_4)-R\_3(R\_4+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_2)}{(R\_2+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_4)-R\_3((R\_1+R\_2)+(R\_4+R\_5))}.
> $$
>
>
>
but without the negative signs of each $R\_3$ term:
$$
R = L/W = \frac{R\_1R\_4(R\_2+R\_5)+R\_2R\_5(R\_1+R\_4)+R\_3(R\_4+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_2)}{(R\_2+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_4)+R\_3((R\_1+R\_2)+(R\_4+R\_5))}.
$$
This result also gives the correct results for both R tending to 0 and also R tending to infinity, but the definitions of the R's are now consistent with the diagram.
Here are some steps:
We have:
$$
R\_1x\_1 = R\_4x\_4 - R\_3,
$$
$$
R\_5x\_5 = R\_2x\_2 - R\_3.
$$
Using also:
$$
x\_1 = x\_2 + 1,
$$
$$
x\_5 = x\_4 + 1,
$$
and eliminating $x\_1$ and $x\_5$ from the horizontal equations, we get:
$$
R\_1x\_2 + R\_1 = R\_4x\_4 - R\_3,
$$
$$
R\_2x\_2 - R\_3 = R\_5x\_4 + R\_5.
$$
These solve to give:
$$x\_4 = \frac{R\_1R\_5 + R\_1R\_3 + R\_1R\_2 + R\_2R\_3}{R\_2R\_4 - R\_1R\_5}
$$
$$x\_2 = \frac{R\_1R\_5 + R\_3R\_5 + R\_3R\_4 + R\_4R\_5}{R\_2R\_4 - R\_1R\_5}
$$
$$
x\_1 = \frac{R\_2R\_4 + R\_3R\_5 + R\_3R\_4 + R\_4R\_5}{R\_2R\_4 - R\_1R\_5}
$$
$$x\_5 = \frac{R\_1R\_3 + R\_1R\_2 + R\_2R\_3 + R\_2R\_4}{R\_2R\_4 - R\_1R\_5}
$$
$$W = \frac{R\_3(R\_1+R\_2+R\_4+R\_5) + (R\_2+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_4)}{R\_2R\_4 - R\_1R\_5}
$$
$$
L = \frac{R\_3(R\_1+R\_2)(R\_4+R\_5) + R\_1R\_4(R\_2+R\_5) + R\_2R\_5(R\_1+R\_4)}{R\_2R\_4 - R\_1R\_5}
$$
and finally
$$
R = L/W = \frac{R\_1R\_4(R\_2+R\_5)+R\_2R\_5(R\_1+R\_4)+R\_3(R\_4+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_2)}{(R\_2+R\_5)(R\_1+R\_4)+R\_3((R\_1+R\_2)+(R\_4+R\_5))}.
$$
Interestingly, if the resistors $R\_1, R\_2, R\_4, R\_5$ all have the same value, say $\rho$, then it can be shown that the resistance of the entire circuit will not depend on $R\_3$ at all and will instead just be equal to $\rho$.
I think this formula might help you:
>
> $$R\_3 \frac{R\_1 + 3R\_2}{R\_4+3R\_5}$$
>
>
>
| stackexchange/physics |
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