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the concept of topological order long - range order beyond the conventional paradigm of symmetry broken order has profoundly broadened our view of strongly correlated systems over the last decades @xcite .
archetypal realizations of actual materials exhibiting such unconventional order include the ( fractional ) quantum hall liquids @xcite discovered over 30 years ago , sr@xmath2ruo@xmath3 as a possible realization of a @xmath4 superconductor @xcite or in the more recent past the discovery of topological band insulators @xcite .
further insight into the rich physics of topologically ordered systems has been achieved by the analytical understanding of exactly solvable spin models including the toric code @xcite or kitaev s honeycomb model @xcite . despite all this progress
it has remained a challenging task to unambiguously identify a topologically ordered state in a given system both in experiments or theoretical approaches . on the analytical side ,
concepts from quantum information theory have proven particularly helpful in generating a powerful measure of topological order in model systems .
a key insight is that the topological order present in a quantum many - body system is reflected in its entanglement properties . in its most pronounced incarnation
the long - range order present in topologically ordered systems leads to long - range entangled states @xcite , a scenario that applies to most of the examples of topologically ordered states above .
the notable exception are the topological band insulators which exhibit short - range entanglement @xcite . here
we will focus on the former class of long - range entangled states . a key concept to measure entanglement in a quantum many - body system
is the entanglement entropy calculated by dividing the system into two parts @xmath5 and @xmath6 as illustrated in fig .
[ fig : partition ] , obtaining the reduced density matrix of one partition by tracing out the other , e.g. @xmath7 , and then collapsing the information in the reduced density matrix into the so - called entanglement entropy @xmath8 \,.\ ] ] despite the relatively broad - brush character of the entanglement entropy studying its dependence on the geometry of the bipartition has been shown to allow for a rather general classification of ground states of interacting quantum many - body systems . for systems restricted to two spatial dimensions the entanglement entropy exhibits a so - called ` area law ' or more specifically a ` boundary law ' for all gapped ground states
; it grows with the length @xmath9 of the boundary between the partitions @xmath5 and @xmath6 @xmath10 where any additional terms indicated by the dots are subleading terms of order @xmath11 , i.e. vanish in the limit @xmath12 .
one of the more striking features of this boundary law is the occurrence of a subleading constant contribution that for a smooth boundary , i.e. one without any sharp corners , is independent of the size or the geometry of the bipartition and thus indicates long - range entanglement .
this constant @xmath13 is often called the _ topological entropy _
@xcite , since it strictly vanishes for disordered or conventionally ordered states while for a topologically ordered state it always remains finite .
in fact , the topological entropy has to lock into a universal value , which is tightly connected to the effective topological field theory describing the non - local topological order in the system at hand .
it was shown @xcite that @xmath14 where @xmath15 is the so - called total quantum dimension , an important characteristic of the effective topological field theory . an alternative perspective to understand the origin of a finite constant @xmath13 for a topologically ordered
state emerges from considering the entropic contribution arising solely from the boundary .
in contrast to a conventionally ordered or entirely disordered system , the states on the boundary of a topologically ordered system are found to be subtly constrained which then leads to a non - trivial entropic contribution of this boundary .
we will discuss details of both perspectives in the remainder of the manuscript . despite the obvious fact that classical systems do not exhibit any entanglement , the notion of the entanglement entropy has a straight - forward companion for classical statistical systems the shannon entropy , which we can analogously define for a bipartition of the system as illustrated in fig .
[ fig : partition ] .
it is then given as @xmath16 where @xmath17 denotes the set of possible classical configurations in @xmath5 and @xmath18 is the statistical probability of a given configuration @xmath19 .
the analogy to the entanglement entropy goes even one step further , as the shannon entropy also exhibits a rather characteristic scaling with the size and the geometry of the bipartition . in its most general form
it follows a ` volume law ' of the form @xmath20 where @xmath21 is the volume of partition @xmath5 and @xmath9 is again the length of the boundary of the partition .
the dots indicate subleading terms that vanish in the limit of @xmath22 .
the occurrence of a non - vanishing constant term @xmath23 in this volume law for the classical shannon entropy is again tightly connected to the occurrence of long - range information in the classical system .
a prototypical family of such classical systems exhibiting long - range information are classical variants of so - called stringnet states , which we will introduce and discuss in much detail in the following .
the main result of this manuscript is that for this broad variety of classical systems we establish a universal equation relating the constant term @xmath23 to a characteristic feature of the topological field theory underlying these stringnet states .
the methods , which allow us to derive this relation , are based on recent work by fendley and simon @xcite .
we should note that a related question was discussed previously by castelnovo and chamon in @xcite , where the authors studied classical variants of a class of quantum double models , including kitaev s toric code @xcite .
the authors found that the values of the classical and topological entropy are identical for this class of models .
this statement is , in general , no longer true for the classical variants of the stringnet states .
instead , we find that @xmath24 where @xmath25 is the number of abelian particles in the anyonic theory underlying the stringnet states .
our results shed new light on the question on what kind of information in the quantum model can be retained in the corresponding classical variant . our discussion of the above results is structured as follows in the remainder of the manuscript : we provide a general introduction to the classical shannon and renyi entropies in section [ sec : shannon entropy ] . in section
[ sec : classical_stringnet_models ] we introduce the stringnet models , first in the context of quantum double models based on the so - called su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories , and then describe their classical analogs . in section [ sec : crossing_symmetry ]
we outline the methods we use to analytically compute the renyi entropies for these classical stringnet analogs with the results for the renyi entropies and the topological entropy of eq .
presented in section [ sec : renyi entropy ] .
the manuscript finishes with an outlook on more general stringnets , a summary of our main results , and several appendices providing the details of our calculation .
in quantum mechanics , one of the most important measures of entanglement in a system of multiple quantum mechanical degrees of freedom is the entanglement entropy .
we will briefly recap this notion in the following and then turn to the classical analogs of these concepts .
let us consider a quantum system with ground state @xmath26 and a bipartition along a smooth cut ( without any sharp corners ) that divides the system into two parts called @xmath5 and @xmath6 .
as already outlined in the introduction we can characterize the entanglement of the two partitions by calculating the reduced density matrix of one of the two partitions , say partition @xmath5 , by tracing out the other one to obtain @xmath27 we can now readily diagonalize this reduced density matrix to obtain its eigenvalues @xmath28 , which are the probabilities to find system @xmath5 in the quantum state corresponding to the respective eigenvector . in terms of these eigenvalues ,
the entanglement entropy can thus be readily calculated as @xmath29 note that for a quantum system the so - calculated entanglement entropies @xmath30 and @xmath31 are equal , i.e. @xmath32 . to identify a classical analog to the entanglement entropy we note that the definition of the entanglement entropy in the form of eq .
has a straightforward interpretation also for classical systems . in particular
, we can replace the quantum mechanical probabilities @xmath28 to find the system in a certain state @xmath33 by their classical counterparts to find subsystem @xmath5 in a particular classical configuration @xmath34 .
the classical analog of the entanglement entropy is then simply given by the well - known shannon entropy @xmath35 where the sum now runs over the set of all possible configurations @xmath17 of subsystem @xmath5 .
similar to the quantum mechanical case , the probability of a given classical configuration @xmath34 is obtained by summing over all possible complementary configurations in partition @xmath6 , i.e. @xmath36 where @xmath37 is the energy of the configuration in the full system , @xmath38 is the boltzmann factor , and @xmath39 the temperature .
note that in general the classical shannon entropy is not equivalent for the two partitions @xmath5 and @xmath6 , i.e. @xmath40 . instead of directly calculating the shannon entropy
it is often more convenient to compute one of the renyi entropies @xmath41 \,,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the index @xmath42 typically is an integer @xmath43 .
the renyi entropies are bounded by each other by @xmath44 for @xmath45 , and recover the shannon entropy in the limit @xmath46 .
they can be computed by considering @xmath42 copies ( replicas ) of the system @xcite . in doing so
, the different replicas of part @xmath5 are required to have identical configurations , while the configurations in the replicas of part @xmath6 are independent of one another , see e.g. ref .
@xcite for details of a numerical implementation . for the ground state of two - dimensional gapped quantum systems
, the entanglement entropy obeys an area law , i.e. it grows as the length @xmath9 of the boundary of system @xmath5 instead of its volume @xmath47 the coefficient @xmath48 is non - universal , as it depends on the microscopic details of the model and can be changed continuously .
more interesting is the presence of the subleading constant term @xmath13 , which is often called topological entropy and is robust against changing the microscopic details of the system . for a smooth cut it does neither depend on any length scale of the system nor the geometry of the bipartition and as such must be rooted in long - range entanglement . the seminal work of refs .
@xcite showed that the topological entropy is universal and can be directly calculated from the total quantum dimension @xmath15 of the effective topological field theory .
in particular , it is given by @xmath49 .
as the topological entropy is subleading , it is often cumbersome to determine it to sufficient accuracy by doing a scaling analysis , though recent numerical investigations have been quite successful in doing so @xcite .
in addition , there may be additional @xmath50 contributions to @xmath30 arising from sharp corners in the cut .
thus , it is beneficial to use a setup , which was introduced by levin and wen @xcite , to extract the topological entropy from a set of different bipartitions of the system as illustrated in fig .
[ fig : levinwencuts ] . by considering the four different bipartitions of fig .
[ fig : levinwencuts ] one can cancel out the leading boundary term in eq . as well as
all @xmath50 potential corner contributions to directly obtain the topological entropy from the linear combination @xmath51 which then leads to the final result @xmath52 in contrast to the quantum case , the leading term of the classical shannon entropy @xmath30 scales with the volume @xmath53 of the subsystem @xmath5 in the bipartition , i.e. it follows a volume law of the general form @xmath54 where @xmath9 is again the length of the boundary of the partition and the dots indicate subleading terms of order @xmath55 ) that vanish in the limit of @xmath22 .
note again that a direct consequence of this volume law is that the shannon entropy is in general not symmetric with regard to the two partitions , i.e. @xmath40 . similar to the quantum case , we can also in the classical system identify a constant contribution @xmath23 , which reduces the entropy .
this constant turns out to be independent of the geometry and size of the system , which is why we will call it ` classical topological entropy ' . as we will discuss in the subsequent sections
we can uniquely determine the universal values for this classical topological entropy for a broad variety of classical topologically ordered systems . ) and the classical loopgas , when computing @xmath30 ( @xmath56 ) respectively @xmath31 ( @xmath57 ) . ] at this point , we only want to point out that the form of the scaling behavior of the classical shannon ( and renyi ) entropies still allows to use the setup suggested by levin and wen to directly evaluate the @xmath50 topological correction .
one subtle difference to the quantum mechanical calculation is that in the classical case the topological correction @xmath23 is sensitive to the number of disconnected regions in partition @xmath6 . as an example
, we show the constant contributions to the entropy for a quantum system and its related classical system for the four levin - wen partitions in fig .
[ fig : levinwenpartitions ] .
the first line indicates the topological entanglement entropy for the quantum mechanical system , the example being the so - called toric code model @xcite , which has total quantum dimension @xmath58 .
note that in the quantum mechanical case the topological correction for a given bipartition is related to the number of boundaries between parts @xmath5 and @xmath6 ; the bipartitions involving @xmath59 and @xmath60 contribute twice the value than those bipartitions involving @xmath61 and @xmath62 .
the classical analog of the toric code is the so - called loopgas at @xmath63 , whose classical topological entropy was already studied in ref .
@xcite and found to be @xmath64 .
as the shannon entropy is not symmetric in @xmath5 and @xmath6 , we show both the topological correction when computing @xmath30 ( in the second line ) as well as @xmath31 ( in the third line ) .
note that the classical value is independent of the number of boundaries but instead measures the number of disconnected regions in the complementary part .
for instance , the topological @xmath50 contribution in @xmath30 is non - vanishing only if part @xmath6 is disconnected .
finally note that the similar setup introduced by kitaev and preskill @xcite for extracting the topological entropy is not suitable for the classical systems considered here , because all bi - partitions have connected parts @xmath5 and @xmath6 .
as an example family of model systems exhibiting non - trivial topological order , we will consider so - called stringnet states and in particular their classical analogs .
their quantum variants , so - called stringnet condensed states or simply stringnets , have been introduced by levin and wen @xcite in a rather general mathematical construction using so - called quantum doubles @xcite . for completeness , we will briefly recap this levin - wen construction in the following by first introducing so - called su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories and then outlining the quantum double construction before shifting gear to discuss the construction of their classical analogs .
the most elementary building block for both the quantum and classical versions of stringnets are so - called su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories @xcite .
these theories describe anyonic degrees of freedom with both abelian and non - abelian exchange statistics ( in two spatial dimensions ) . for
a given level @xmath65 such an anyonic theory contains @xmath66 individual degrees of freedom , which for our purposes here we label by integers @xmath67 one can think of every degree of freedom as a representation of the quantum group su(2)@xmath0 or in analogy to the spin representation of su(2 ) , which corresponds to the limit @xmath68 , as generalized spins with even / odd integer labels corresponding to integer / half - integer spins .
we can combine two representations of su(2)@xmath0 into one joint representation similar to combining two spin quantum numbers into one joint spin quantum number for conventional su(2 ) spins .
this process , which for the anyon theories is often called fusion , has to obey very similar rules as those for combining two conventional su(2 ) spins .
in particular , they have to obey the so - called fusion rules which also incorporate the cut - off @xmath65 in a consistent way @xmath69}l\ , , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath70 increases in steps of two .
eq . can be written more compactly by introducing fusion coefficients @xmath71 , which are defined via @xmath72 note that for the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories at hand these fusion coefficients are always either 0 or 1 .
the simplest example is probably the anyon theory su(2)@xmath1 with anyonic degrees of freedom @xmath73 and @xmath74 , for which the above fusion rules become @xmath75 a slightly less trivial example is the anyon theory su(2)@xmath2 with anyonic degrees of freedom @xmath76 and @xmath77 , for which the fusion rules read @xmath78 where the fusion with the identity @xmath73 has been omitted , as it is trivial .
in addition we also mention the fusion rules of su(2)@xmath79 with anyonic degrees of freedom @xmath80 and @xmath81 , for which the fusion rules read @xmath82 and finally the fibonacci theory , which is the even - integer subset of this su(2)@xmath79 anyonic theory @xmath83 one striking distinction between the fusion rules for su(2)@xmath1 in and for the remaining ones in , , and is the occurrence of representations , which fused with itself , generate more than one fusion outcome , e.g. representation @xmath74 in su(2)@xmath2 .
such representations are called _ non - abelian _ as opposed to _ abelian _
representations such as the identity @xmath73 that always generate a unique fusion outcome @xcite . in order to understand this concept better ,
let us consider a set comprising multiple such non - abelian representations .
their combined fusion will no longer be described by a single state but necessarily needs to be described by a set of states . in more technical terms
, this manifold of states for a set of non - abelian degrees of freedom asymptotically grows exponentially with the total number of degrees of freedom .
the base of this exponential growth is called the _ quantum dimension _
@xmath84 of the representation @xmath33 .
non - abelian representations have quantum dimensions that are strictly larger than one , i.e. @xmath85 .
in contrast , any representation @xmath86 that is abelian ( exhibiting only single fusion outcomes ) has quantum dimension @xmath87 . for a given anyon theory the _ total quantum dimension _
@xmath15 is then defined as a sum over all the quantum dimensions of the individual representations of the theory @xmath88 for all values of @xmath65 , the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories always contain two abelian representations , labeled by @xmath73 and @xmath65 , with quantum dimensions @xmath89 .
the remaining representations are all non - abelian and thus have quantum dimension @xmath90 . anyon theory , b ) the su(2)@xmath2 anyon theory , and c ) the fibonacci theory . ] with the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories as elementary building blocks at our hand , we can now proceed to briefly recap the quantum double construction of levin and wen @xcite and introduce the quantum mechanical version of stringnet condensed states or simply stringnets .
the quantum double construction of levin and wen creates a lattice model from an anyonic theory , such as one of the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories introduced in the previous section .
the elementary constituents of the lattice model are edges that carry an anyonic degree of freedom , which is captured by the respective anyon theory , i.e. it corresponds to one of the labels @xmath91 .
the bonds form a lattice via _ trivalent _ vertices .
an example of a particularly regular lattice construction would be the honeycomb lattice , which we will use in all visualizations in the following . at each vertex
the fusion rules of the anyonic theory need to be fulfilled , thus constraining the possible labelings of edges around a given vertex .
examples of allowed vertices for the su(2)@xmath1 , su(2)@xmath2 and fibonacci theory are given ( up to rotations ) in the various panels of fig .
[ fig : allowed_vertices ] , respectively . .
] forming an entire graph out of a set of these allowed vertices and corresponding edges , one can then create a multitude of lattice configurations . by visual inspection of these configurations
it becomes evident how the vertex constraints translate into constraints of the overall lattice configurations .
for the case of the su(2)@xmath1 anyonic theory , which contains only abelian anyons , the resulting configurations will consist of closed loops only , as illustrated in fig . [
fig : loopgas ] . introducing a non - abelian anyon into the anyon theory ,
as it is the case for , e.g. the fibonacci theory , the resulting lattice configurations also include branches resulting in netlike configurations as illustrated in fig . [
fig : stringnet ] . for the abelian su(2)@xmath1 anyon theory . ]
the set of allowed lattice configurations forms a basis for the part of the hilbert space , where the groundstate resides in . before moving on to the construction of the classical analog of these quantum states ,
we want to mention in passing a few additional constraints present in the quantum model ( but not the classical model to be introduced in the next section ) .
most notable for the remainder of this manuscript is that a subset of allowed lattice configurations has vanishing weight for the groundstate , in particular all those configurations where the netlike configuration includes so - called tadpoles illustrated in fig .
[ fig : stringnettadpole ] . the actual weight of an allowed lattice configuration will be finely tuned by a number of parameters depending on the specifics of the underlying anyon theory ( such as , e.g. , a @xmath92-isotopy parameter for the inclusion of closed loops ) .
further , the levin - wen construction goes beyond the construction of quantum ground states , but also allows a description of excited states , e.g. states where the vertex constraint is not fulfilled at individual vertices or which include one of the aforementioned tadpoles .
finally we note that in more mathematical terms , the quantum double construction is routed in the so - called drinfeld double @xcite , which takes a topological quantum field theory ( tqft ) @xmath93 and its time - reversal conjugate @xmath94 to construct a doubled tqft that is time - reversal invariant @xcite . for more details on this construction the reader
is referred to the original math literature @xcite or the more physical introduction in ref .
note that the total quantum dimension of the quantum double model is the square of the total quantum dimension of the anyonic theory , i.e. @xmath95 , resulting in a topological entropy @xmath96 .
we now turn to the classical analogs of the quantum mechanical stringnet states introduced as groundstates of the quantum double construction of levin and wen in the previous section .
to do so , we first note that the quantum ground states of levin and wen can generally be written as a superposition of stringnet configurations @xmath97 , which fulfill the vertex constraints at every single vertex .
the wavefunction can then be expressed as @xmath98 where the coefficients @xmath99 are real , but not necessarily all positive or non - zero @xcite .
we can now construct a _ classical _ stringnet by defining a partition function that corresponds to the equal - weight superposition of allowed stringnet configurations @xmath97 of the quantum double construction , i.e. @xmath100 = \sum_s 1 \ , , \label{eq : partition_function}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath101 indicates the number of vertices in the lattice . note that whether a given stringnet configuration @xmath97 is allowed or not , again depends solely on the _ local _ constraints implemented around every vertex .
in fact , one can explicitly count the number of allowed configurations contributing to the partition function .
going through a sequence of combinatorial steps ( detailed in appendix [ sec : stringnet ] ) , one finds that @xmath102=\sum_{j=0}^k \left(\frac{\mathcal{d}}{d_j}\right)^v \approx 2\mathcal{d}^v \,,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the @xmath84 indicate the quantum dimension of the anyons in the underlying anyon theory su(2)@xmath0 and @xmath15 is the total quantum dimension of the theory . in the large - volume limit
, the explicit sum can be approximated as a power of the total quantum dimension , which connects the original meaning of the quantum dimension in the anyonic theory with its analogous role in the purely classical model .
before we turn to a general discussion of the classical stringnets defined in this section , we will briefly layout the more technical details of the methods and in particular the role of a so - called crossing symmetry for the analytical calculations of the renyi entropies for these classical stringnets .
in the following we derive several formulas , which are important to the computation of the shannon or renyi entropies of the classical stringnet models . our analytical approach is heavily based on the concept of a so - called crossing symmetry , which was recently introduced by fendley and simon as a method to compute the exact partition function of a special class of classical lattice model @xcite . for later convenience
, we will keep the discussion in this section very general , such that it is applicable to _ any _ crossing symmetric model .
as the following discussion of crossing symmetric models is very brief , the interested reader is referred to ref .
@xcite for a more complete treatment . in the following
we consider models that are defined on a trivalent graph with @xmath103 possible states labeled by @xmath104 living on the edges of the graph .
the edges are in general oriented , which is indicated by an arrow in the visualizations .
we assign each degree of freedom a conjugate via a permutation @xmath105 of @xmath106 $ ] of maximally order two , i.e. @xmath107 . the conjugate of @xmath86 is denoted by @xmath108 and conjugation is implemented by reversing the arrow on the edge .
the physical significance of the conjugation will become clear below .
we define local boltzmann weights for the vertices that depend on the labels ( and orientations ) of the three edges around the vertex . when defining the weights @xmath109 we use the reference orientation that all arrows are pointing inwards , as is visualized in fig .
[ fig : weight_directed ] .
the vertex weights can alternatively be written as a ` weight matrix ' @xmath110 defined as @xmath111 which will become convenient later on .
note that the second matrix index is conjugated compared to the definition of the boltzmann weights , see also fig .
[ fig : weight_directed ] .
we consider only models that are isotropic , which implies that the value of the boltzmann weight is the same for cyclic permutations of the indices , i.e. @xmath112 . the partition function @xmath113 $ ] of a graph with @xmath101 vertices is then defined as the sum over all edge labelings of the product of all weights @xmath114&= \sum_{\mbox{\small edge labels } } \prod_{\mbox{\small vertices } \nu } w(i_\nu , j_\nu , l_\nu)\,.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the model is called crossing symmetric if the boltzmann weights defined on the vertices fulfill the crossing symmetry relation @xmath115 which is visualized in fig . [ fig : crossing symmetry ] .
crossing symmetry implies that the weight matrices commute . in ref .
@xcite fendley and simon showed that crossing symmetry allows for calculating the partition function exactly .
using the crossing symmetry relation successively , one can equate the partition function of different graphs .
this in turn allows a transformation to a graph , where the partition function can be calculated straightforwardly .
an example of such a transformation is illustrated in fig .
[ fig : crossing symmetry z ] .
the main insight is that the graph can always be deformed into a chain of ` bubbles ' , where a bubble can be interpreted as a matrix that in the following is denoted by @xmath39 and defined through the weight matrices @xmath116 by definition , the @xmath39-matrix commutes with all the weight matrices .
the graphical interpretation of the bubble as a matrix is visualized in fig .
[ fig : t - matrix ] . .
, scaledwidth=30.0% ] as a result of the transformation of the graph , the evaluation of the partition function is reduced to diagonalizing an @xmath117 matrix @xmath114&= \mbox{tr}\left(t^{v/2}\right)\ , .
\label{eq : partition function}\end{aligned}\ ] ] the crossing symmetry relation seems at first glance rather restrictive . however , there are a number of interesting classical models that obey the relation .
in particular , it was shown in ref .
@xcite that the classical stringnet models discussed in section [ sec : classical_stringnets ] are crossing symmetric . to be more precise ,
the degrees of freedom living on the edges are the representations of the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theory .
admissible stringnet configurations have the property that the fusion rules are fulfilled at each vertex .
this constraint corresponds to a local boltzmann weight of @xmath118 where the ordering of the labels is not important , i.e. @xmath119 the conjugate @xmath108 of the degree of freedom @xmath86 is defined as the unique element , such that the fusion of @xmath86 and its conjugate contains the identity element @xmath73 , i.e. @xmath120 . from the fusion rules of the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theory , it can readily be seen that the identity element only occurs when @xmath121 .
hence , all degrees of freedom are their own conjugate in this case and we can consider the edges as un - oriented .
however , this is no longer true for more complicated anyon theories , such as e.g. su(n)@xmath0 .
another class of crossing symmetric models are the ones based on finite groups .
the degrees of freedom living on the edges are now taken to be elements of a finite group @xmath122 with the identity element denoted by @xmath123 . in this manuscript , we are most interested in models , where the group operation @xmath124 is fulfilled at each vertex , i.e. @xmath125 the conjugate element @xmath108 of @xmath86 is defined as the unique inverse , such that @xmath126 .
when @xmath122 is non - abelian the ordering of the indices in @xmath109 is important , i.e. in general @xmath127 . as a result , we need to introduce an orientation for each vertex ( in addition to the orientation of the edges ) . here
, we use the convention that the ordering of the indices corresponds to an anti - clockwise orientation of the vertex .
we should comment on that eq .
is , in fact , much more restrictive than is needed for crossing symmetry , as was shown in ref .
@xcite . however , the models defined by are the most interesting from the perspective of calculating the renyi entropies , as it turns out that they have the maximal possible value of the topological entropy , namely @xmath128 , where @xmath129 is the number of elements in @xmath122 .
having already derived an explicit expression for the partition function in eq .
, let us now continue with discussing the relevant steps to compute the renyi entropies .
when dividing the system into two partitions @xmath5 and @xmath6 , we divide the set of vertices spatially into vertices in @xmath5 and @xmath6 respectively , thus cutting the graph spatially on the edges .
the total number of these ` boundary edges ' is denoted by @xmath9 in the following . as the two subsystems @xmath5 and @xmath6
are only coupled via the boundary links , it is useful to keep the boundary configuration , denoted by @xmath130 , explicit .
a visualization of a bipartition of the system with boundary configuration @xmath131 can be found in fig .
[ fig : boundary ] . in order to compute the renyi entropies
, we need an expression for the probability @xmath132 of a given configuration @xmath133 , where the set @xmath134 incorporates all edge labels in the volume ( excluding the boundary ) of one of the partitions , say @xmath5 . in terms of the local boltzmann weights
@xmath109 , the probability is given by @xmath135 where @xmath136 indicates a sum over all edge labels of links in @xmath6 ( again excluding the boundary ) . inserting the probability into the definition of the renyi entropy with index @xmath42 yields @xmath137 \,.\end{gathered}\ ] ] in order to simplify this expression , we define a ` boundary weight ' @xmath138 ( and similarly for @xmath5 ) by @xmath139 where @xmath140 denotes the volume of @xmath6 and is defined such that @xmath141 is the total number of vertices in @xmath6 .
this definition ensures that the contributions of the volume and the boundary to the renyi entropy are nicely separated in the final result .
@xmath142 is nothing but the total weight of classical configurations in @xmath6 , given a particular boundary configuration @xmath131 .
it can be computed exactly by using crossing symmetry to transform the graph of subsystem @xmath6 into one , where the internal summation over all edge labelings in @xmath6 is expressed as a matrix power of the @xmath39 matrix : @xmath143_{\alpha_1,\beta}\mbox{tr}\left(\phi^{(\beta)}t^{v_b/2}\right)\ , .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] an example of such a transformation is illustrated in fig .
[ fig : crossing symmetry boundary ] .
as the weight matrices @xmath144 commute with each other as well as with the @xmath39-matrix , we can simultaneously diagonalize them and eq .
can be readily expressed in terms of the eigenvalues of the matrices .
note that we must define a reference configuration on the boundary edges , in the case where edges have an orientation . in the following , we will use the convention that the arrows point towards the vertices in the respective volume , i.e. @xmath6 in case at hand .
consequently , we need to take the conjugate boundary configuration @xmath145 for the boundary weight of the other partition , which is @xmath5 in this case .
if the replicated system is crossing symmetric , i.e. if the weights @xmath146 obey the crossing symmetry relation , we can also compute @xmath147 exactly , using the weight matrices and the @xmath39-matrix that are obtained from the weights @xmath146 instead . as a result
, we can find a compact expression for the renyi entropy of subsystem @xmath5 with index @xmath42 @xmath148\,,\end{aligned}\ ] ] for all classical models , where the model as well as the replicated model
i.e. the model , where the local boltzmann weights are given by @xmath146
are crossing symmetric .
the requirement that both @xmath109 as well as @xmath146 obey the crossing symmetry relation seems at first glance rather restrictive .
however , we note that for the classical stringnet models based on the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories the weights @xmath109 are all either @xmath73 or @xmath74 .
hence , the replicated model is trivially crossing symmetric .
the same applies to a few other stringnet models , e.g. those based on the su(n)@xmath0 theories with @xmath149 .
it is also valid for the classical models based on finite groups that were discussed in the previous section .
in this section , we give a brief outline on how to derive the shannon and renyi entropies of classical stringnet models and discuss their properties .
we focus on the model based on the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theory , for which we provide the basic steps .
a detailed derivation can be found in appendix [ sec : stringnet ] .
let us first discuss a bipartition , where part @xmath5 and @xmath6 are both connected , for instance @xmath61 and @xmath62 in fig .
[ fig : levinwenpartitions ] .
we note that for the classical stringnet based on the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theory , all representations are self - conjugate and the local boltzmann weight of a vertex is either @xmath73 or @xmath74 .
consequently , the expression for the renyi entropy simplifies to the following @xmath150\ , .\end{aligned}\ ] ] the partition function @xmath113 $ ] , see eq .
, can be approximated by @xmath151\approx 2\mathcal{d}^v\end{aligned}\ ] ] in the limit of large volume @xmath101 . in the following ,
we assume that both the volume of partition @xmath5 and @xmath6 are large , such that the approximation above is valid .
the boundary weights @xmath152 can then be expressed in terms of the quantum dimensions of the representations in the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theory @xmath153 where @xmath154 is the number representations of type @xmath33 in the boundary configuration .
deriving eq .
makes use of the fact that the eigenvalues of the weight matrices are related to the quantum dimensions , which we derive in appendix [ sec : stringnet ] .
crossing symmetry implies that the ordering in the boundary configuration is irrelevant , only the number of each type of representation enters the expression for the weight .
the summation over all boundary configurations can be performed by noting that the summands are nothing but multinomial coefficients of @xmath155 with @xmath156 and the renyi entropy becomes @xmath157\nonumber\\ & \approx v_a\log \mathcal{d } + \ell \log\left[\frac { \mathcal{d}^{2n}}{\mathcal{d}^{+}_{n+1 } } \right]^{1/(n-1)}\ , , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where the second line is valid in the limit of a long boundary length @xmath9 .
note that there is no constant contribution to the renyi entropy , when part @xmath5 and @xmath6 are both connected .
the constraint of the boundary there are only @xmath158 instead of @xmath159 boundary configurations that contribute to the entropy is exactly compensated by the constraint from the volume , i.e. the factor 2 in the boundary weights @xmath160 in eq . as well as the partition function in eq . .
note that this additional factor came about because there are two abelian representations in the su(2)@xmath0 model , which resulted in that the highest eigenvalue of @xmath39-matrix was doubly degenerate .
let us now assume that part @xmath5 is connected , but there are two disconnected regions in @xmath6 denoted by @xmath161 and @xmath162 , e.g. bipartition @xmath163 in fig .
[ fig : levinwenpartitions ] .
the boundary configuration for @xmath164 is given by @xmath165 with length @xmath166 .
the expression for the weights @xmath160 in eq . is unchanged , except that the weight for part @xmath5 has a boundary that is the combination of @xmath167 and @xmath168 . that the boundaries combine and can be written as one boundary of length @xmath169 is ensured by crossing symmetry .
the calculation of the renyi entropy proceeds along the same lines as the one above , but in this case the boundary and volume constraints do not compensate each other .
instead the constraints arising from the volume are only partly compensated by the boundary , which yields an additional @xmath170 to the previous result : @xmath171-\log 2 \\
\approx v_a\log \mathcal{d } + \ell \log\left[\frac { \mathcal{d}^{2n}}{\mathcal{d}^{+}_{n+1 } } \right]^{1/(n-1)}-\log 2\ , , \end{gathered}\ ] ] where the second line is valid when @xmath172 and @xmath173 are both large .
if we had computed @xmath174 instead , we had recovered expression with @xmath5 and @xmath175 interchanged .
the calculation above is straightforward to generalize to arbitrary number of regions in @xmath5 and @xmath6 .
we find that in the limit , where the individual volumes and boundary lengths are all large , the renyi entropy is given by : @xmath176^{1/(n-1 ) } -(n_b-1)\log 2\ , , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath177 is the number of disconnected regions in part @xmath6 .
analytic continuation to @xmath178 , gives the following result for the shannon entropy : @xmath179\\ -(n_b-1)\log 2\ , .\end{gathered}\ ] ] let us emphasize again that the total quantum dimension @xmath15 of the anyon theory appears as coefficient in the volume term , but not in the topological entropy .
the latter is instead given by the logarithm of the number of abelian representations , which is two for _ all _ su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories .
in appendix [ sec : effective_loop_model ] we present an alternative description of the su(2)@xmath0 models , which gives an intuitive understanding of this , at first glance surprising , finding that the topological entropy does not depend the level @xmath65 .
it turns out that all classical stringnet models based on the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories can be mapped to generalized loop models , for which an topological entropy of @xmath180 is expected , independent on the details of the loop model .
so far , we have focused our discussion on classical stringnets rooted in the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories .
however , the quantum double construction of levin and wen and as such also the construction of their classical analogs can in principle be applied to a much broader class of anyonic theories ( or in more general words topological quantum field theories ) . for the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories we have found that the topological entropy is @xmath181 , independent of the level @xmath65 of the theory . in fact , this result
can readily be generalized to a broader class of anyon theories to @xmath182 where @xmath25 is the number of abelian representations in the underlying anyon theory .
it might thus be interesting to go to anyonic theories that contain more than the strictly two abelian representations in the su(2)@xmath0 theories .
one prominent example is the family of su(n)@xmath0 anyon theories , which we will touch on in the next section .
another example would be models based on finite groups @xmath122 , which we will briefly discuss in the subsequent section .
we first consider stringnet models based on the su(n)@xmath0 anyon theories , which are related the the more conventional su(n ) algebra , in that only a finite number of representations is kept
similar to the su(2)@xmath0 deformation of su(2 ) discussed before .
the theory contains @xmath183 representations , @xmath103 of which are abelian .
the fusion rules can again be constructed
similar to the fusion rules of su(2)@xmath0 in a consistent way that incorporates the cutoff @xmath65 of the deformation , though no closed expression are known for @xmath184 . constructing the classical stringnet model based on these su(n)@xmath0 anyon theories we can again define a set of admissible lattice configurations , where the fusion rules are fulfilled at every single vertex . a ( weighted ) sum over these admissible lattice configurations will then define the partition function of the classical model .
similar to our discussion of the su(2)@xmath0 stringnet models we define the local boltzmann weight of a vertex via the fusion rules as @xmath185 which not only enforces the fusion rules at the vertex , but also assigns weights to the various admissible vertex configurations .
in particular , it should be noted that for @xmath186 not all vertices enter with the same weight , but depending on the multiplicity of certain fusion channels @xmath187 the weights can actually vary in contrast to the previously discussed case of su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories .
the so - defined classical su(n)@xmath0 stringnet model obeys the crossing symmetry relation @xcite .
however , as a consequence of the unequal boltzmann weights for @xmath186 the replicated system used for calculation of the renyi entropies no longer obeys the crossing symmetry . as such , our results can be directly generalized only to the case of su(n)@xmath1 and su(n)@xmath2 anyon theories , while the su(n)@xmath0 theories with @xmath186 require additional work beyond the scope of the current manuscript .
let us first get some intuition by discussing the su(n)@xmath1 anyon theory , which turns out to be rather accessible .
it has @xmath103 representations , which can be labeled consecutively by integers @xmath188 .
all representation are abelian with fusion rules @xmath189 where we note that these fusion rules are equivalent to the group operation of the cyclic group @xmath190 .
the fusion matrices are then given by @xmath191 and the @xmath39-matrix is diagonal with @xmath192 from the definition of the weight one can deduce that only configurations , where the boundary representations fuse to the identity , contribute to the renyi entropies @xmath193 inserting the weights into and noting that there are @xmath194 allowed boundary configurations for each individual boundary , one obtains the renyi entropy @xmath195 where @xmath177 is the number of disconnected regions in @xmath6 .
we again see that the renyi entropy follows a volume law augmented by a boundary term and a topological correction of the form @xmath196 this result is precisely in line with the statement that only the number of abelian anyons in the underlying anyonic theory contributes to the topological correction .
the calculation for su(n)@xmath2 is substantially more technical , but yields precisely the same value for the topological entropy @xmath197 the interested reader is referred to appendix [ sec : stringnet_su(n ) ] for some of the details of this calculation .
in addition to anyon models described so far , the quantum double construction , the formulation of its classical analog as well as the methods described to calculate the classical entropies in section [ sec : renyi entropy ] can also be used to study classical stringnet models based on finite groups , both abelian and non - abelian .
such a group is denoted by @xmath122 in the following and its elements by @xmath198 with @xmath123 being the identity element .
the fusion rules are replaced by the usual group operation @xmath124 , such that @xmath199 implies a fusion coefficient
@xmath200 where @xmath108 is the ( unique ) inverse of @xmath86 defined by @xmath201 .
the boltzmann weights are thus defined as @xmath202 we want to emphasize , the outcome of ` fusing ' two particles is always unique given an ordering .
thus , all elements are abelian according to our previous definition counting the number of fusion outcomes , even though the underlying group may be non - abelian .
in particular , the individual quantum dimensions are all @xmath203 and the total quantum dimension @xmath204 , where @xmath129 is the total number of elements in the group .
the calculation of the renyi entropy is very similar to the one outlined for su(n)@xmath1 . in particular , eq . still holds when replacing @xmath103 by @xmath129 @xmath205 finally , we should emphasize that our results for classical models based on finite groups are fully consistent with the results previously reported by castelnovo and chamon in ref .
see also ref .
@xcite for related work on kagome spin - ice .
to summarize our results , the manuscript at hand provides a detailed introduction of the construction of classical stringnet models from quantum double models based on a given anyon theory . for the family of su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories ,
we have carefully analyzed the topological entropies arising as subleading contribution in the renyi entropies .
in particular , we have derived the precise form of the volume law governing the renyi entropies of order @xmath42 for a subsystem @xmath5 @xmath206^{\frac{1}{(n-1)}}-(n_b-1)\log 2 \ , , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath177 is the number of disconnected regions in part @xmath6 , @xmath15 is the total quantum dimension of the anyon theory and @xmath207 .
analytic continuation to @xmath178 yields the shannon entropy @xmath208\\ -(n_b-1)\log 2\ , .\end{gathered}\ ] ] these results for the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories can readily be generalized to su(n)@xmath0 theories with @xmath149 as well as models based on finite groups to give a topological entropy of @xmath209 where @xmath25 is the number of abelian representations in the underlying anyon theory .
eq . is the main result of our manuscript .
let us finally reemphasize that the classical and quantum variants of topological entropy are encoding substantially different aspects of the system , even though they are defined in a very similar manner . while the quantum topological entropy arises from a constraint on the boundary , the classical entropy rather originates from a constraint on the volume .
in particular , in the quantum system the topological @xmath50 contribution is proportional to the number of individual boundaries . for the classical counterpart
, the shannon ( or renyi ) entropy of subsystem @xmath5 has a topological contribution , which is proportional to the number of disconnected regions in subsystem @xmath6 , or rather @xmath210 .
even though the actual values of the classical and quantum topological entropy can turn out to be the same , in particular when considering classical models based on finite groups @xcite , they are in general sensitive to different features in the topological field theory . while the quantum version is sensitive to all representations in the quantum double model of the underlying anyon theory , the classical one is sensitive only to the abelian ones in the anyon theory resulting in vastly different estimates for su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories with @xmath211 .
unfortunately , the proof leading to does not directly generalize to su(n)@xmath0 for arbitrary @xmath65 , as the summation over configurations in part @xmath5 and the boundary can not be performed analytically .
the form of eq .
suggests that the topological contribution is again given by @xmath212 .
however , within our current approach we can not rigorously proof that there are no other contributions to the topological entropy arising , e.g. , from the summation over boundary configurations .
for these cases numerical simulations might be useful to shed more light on this question .
an important issue that was not discussed in this manuscript is the one of stability .
the main feature of the topological entropy of quantum systems is that it is robust against any kind of local perturbations .
it was already noted in ref .
@xcite that the classical topological entropy is not robust against softening the vertex constraint .
let us for instance consider the classical loop model .
as soon as there is a finite ( even if infinitessimal ) probability of open loops , the topological entropy vanishes for large enough system sizes .
another important perturbation in the classical stringnet model is introducing a string tension .
some guidance on this issue arises from the classical loop model .
the latter is dual to the 2d ising model with the loop tension in the loop model corresponding to finite temperature in the ising model . as such we know that the ( topologically non - trivial ) loopgas phase persists up to a finite , critical loop tension , corresponding precisely to the critical temperature of the dual ising model . as such it is reasonable to expect that the topological entropy remains constant up to the critical value of the loop tension .
the topological entropy of the classical system can then be used to characterize an entire phase in full analogy to its quantum counterpart . +
* acknowledgements * m.h .
thanks eddy ardonne , steve simon , and joost slingerland for interesting and stimulating discussions .
s.t . thanks r.g .
melko for an inspiring discussion that has led to the idea for the calculations in the manuscript at hand .
we also thank t. quella for a critical reading of the manuscript .
we acknowledge partial support from sfb tr 12 of the dfg .
in this appendix we derive the analytic expression of the renyi entropies for su(2)@xmath0 stringnets in the limit of large volume .
we focus on a bipartition , where part @xmath5 and @xmath6 are both connected . generalizing to disconnected regions in @xmath6 and/or @xmath5
is straightforward .
the weight matrices and the @xmath39 matrix are simultaneously diagonalized by the modular @xmath213-matrix , which is known explicitly for su(2)@xmath0 , see e.g. ref .
@xcite : @xmath214 with @xmath215 .
the explicit form of the @xmath213-matrix is in fact not important for the proof .
however , we will use that the @xmath213-matrix elements are directly related to the quantum dimensions @xmath84 of the representations of the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theory : @xmath216 where @xmath15 is the total quantum dimension .
consequently , the eigenvalues of the weight matrices and the @xmath39-matrix @xmath217_{i , j}&=\delta_{i , j}\lambda_{j}^{(\alpha ) } \nonumber\\ \left[s^\dagger t s\right ] _ { i , j}&=\delta_{i , j } t_{j } \end{aligned}\ ] ] are also related to the quantum dimensions : @xmath218 in particular , @xmath219 which can readily be derived from . for su(2)@xmath0
there are exactly two abelian representations , labeled by @xmath73 and @xmath65 , with @xmath220 .
all other represenations are non - abelian and have , therefore , larger quantum dimensions .
thus , the highest eigenvalue of the @xmath39-matrix has value @xmath221 and is two - fold degenerate . as a consequence , we find that the partition function grows asymptotically as a power of the total quantum dimension @xmath15 @xmath222=\sum_{j=0}^k \left(\frac{\mathcal{d}}{d_j}\right)^v\approx 2\mathcal{d}^v \end{aligned}\ ] ] in the limit of large @xmath101 .
let us now proceed by deriving an explicit formula for the boundary weight . in the following , we assume that the volumes of both subsystems are large .
the boundary weight of a boundary configuration @xmath223 and volume @xmath101 is by definition @xmath224_{0,\beta } \mbox{tr}\left[\phi^{(\beta ) } t^{v/2}\right]\nonumber\\ & = \sum_{\beta , s , j=0}^k s_{0j } \lambda^{(\alpha_1 ) } _ j \ldots \lambda^{(\alpha_\ell)}_j s_{\beta j } \lambda^{(\beta)}_s\left(\frac { \mathcal{d } } { d_s}\right)^v \ , .\end{aligned}\ ] ] using the explicit expression of @xmath225 in terms of the @xmath213-matrix elements , performing the summation over @xmath226 and noting that @xmath227 yields @xmath228 in the large volume limit only the terms with @xmath229 survive , the others are exponentially suppressed . by noting that eq
. relates the @xmath73th and @xmath65th eigenvalue of the weight matrices to the quantum dimension , we arrive at the final result for the boundary weight @xmath230 where @xmath231 and @xmath232 is the multiplicity of the representation labeled by @xmath33 on the boundary .
the ordering of the representations is unimportant due to crossing symmetry . using the explicit form of the boundary weights ,
the renyi entropy can be computed straightforwardly .
@xmath233 \nonumber\\ & = \frac{1}{1-n}\log\left[\sum_{n_{0}+\ldots+n_{k}=\ell}\frac{\ell!}{n_{0}!\ldots n_{k}!}\right . \nonumber\\ & \left
. \times \prod_{j=0}^{k}\left(d_j\right)^{n_{j}(n+1 ) } ( 1+(-1)^{\sigma})^{n+1}\right]\nonumber\\ & + \frac{1}{1-n}\log\left[\mathcal{d}^{v_a+nv_b - n(v_a+v_b+2\ell)}2^{-n}\right ] \,,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the binomial factors enumerate the number of configurations for given @xmath234 . using @xmath235 and @xmath236
we find that @xmath237\ , , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where the last two lines are multinomial expansions of @xmath238 with @xmath239 we can simplify eq . by noting that the contribution from @xmath240 vanishes exponentially in the limit of large @xmath9 and
obtain @xmath241^{1/(n-1)}\ , .\end{aligned}\ ] ] in the limit @xmath242 , we find the following limiting behavior for the shannon entropy : @xmath243\ , .\end{aligned}\ ] ]
let us now briefly comment on the su(n)@xmath0 models and give the final result for the renyi entropies of the stringnet models based on the su(n)@xmath2 anyonic theories .
the calculation proceeds along the same lines as in the previous appendix .
thus , we only comment on the few details that differ from the previous calculation .
the su(n)@xmath0 anyonic theories have @xmath103 abelian representations .
a similar calculation as the one done in eqs . and
shows that the @xmath39-matrix has an @xmath103-fold degenerate , highest eigenvalue @xmath221 . in the su(2)@xmath0 models
, we saw that the eigenvalues of the weight matrices have special properties , namely @xmath244 , where 0 and @xmath65 were labeling the abelian representations .
a similar property is valid for su(n)@xmath0 . in order to see this
let us first introduce some necessary notation . in the su(n)@xmath0 anyon theories
the representations can be labeled by @xmath103 component vectors @xmath245 @xcite , such that the sum of all the vector entries is @xmath65 .
the abelian representations are labeled by the vectors , where one component is @xmath65 and all the others are 0 .
for instance , we can label all the abelian representations consecutively by vectors @xmath246 with @xmath247 and @xmath248 , where @xmath249 denotes the identity representation .
it can be shown by using the outer automorphism of su(n)@xmath0 that some of the eigenvalues of the weight matrices are related by phases @xcite : @xmath250 \lambda_{\boldsymbol\mu_0}^{(\boldsymbol\alpha)}\ , . \end{aligned}\ ] ] note that in contrast to the index @xmath251 , which labels an abelian representation , @xmath223 may label any representation , in particular it may label one of the non - abelian ones .
the phases are @xmath103th roots of unity in analogy to what was found for the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theory . in analogy to the previous calculation
, we can identify @xmath252 with the quantum dimension of the representation labeled by @xmath253 , i.e. @xmath254 . the boundary weights are computed in same way as shown in appendix [ sec : stringnet ] . restricting the discussion to systems where the volumes of each of the subsystem is large and using to relate the eigenvalues of the weight matrices to the quantum dimensions , we find the following form of the boundary weights @xmath255 \prod_{i=1}^{\ell}{d_{\boldsymbol \alpha_i } } \ , \mathcal{d}^{v}\nonumber\\ & = \left \ { \begin{array}{cc } n \prod_{i=1}^{\ell}{d_{\boldsymbol\alpha_i } } \ , \mathcal{d}^{v } & \mbox { for } \sum_{j=1}^\ell \sum_{s=0}^{n-1 } \frac{s \alpha_{js}}{n } \in \mathbb{n } \\
0 & \mbox { otherwise } \ , .
\end{array } \right .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] we note that the form of the boundary weight is very similar to what was found in appendix [ sec : stringnet ] .
the remaining calculation proceeds analogously to the one in appendix [ sec : stringnet ] and the scaling form of the renyi entropy in the limit of large volumes and boundaries looks very similar to the result of the stringnet based on the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theory @xmath256^{1/(n-1)}\!\!-(n_b-1)\log n\ , , \end{aligned}\ ] ] except that the total quantum dimension is now the one of the su(n)@xmath2 anyon theory and the topological contribution is proportional to @xmath257 , as there are @xmath103 abelian representations in su(n)@xmath2 . the number of disconnected regions in subsystem @xmath6 is again denoted by @xmath177 .
@xmath258 is defined as in eq . .
stringnets using a generalized loop model .
the vertices are in one - to - one correspondence to the ones in panel b ) of fig .
[ fig : allowed_vertices ] .
note that a vertex with two lines on each outgoing leg is absent in the theory . ] in this appendix , we want to present an alternative description on the classical stringnets based on the su(2)@xmath0 anyon theories that is useful for understanding why the classical topological entropy is independent on the level @xmath65 .
the main idea is to map the su(2)@xmath0 stringnets to models of non - crossing loops , where at most @xmath65 loops are allowed on each edge .
the correspondence between the classical stringnet and this generalized loop model is illustrated in fig .
[ fig : su(2)_2loop ] for the case of @xmath259 the upper panel shows the allowed vertices for su(2)@xmath2 and the lower panel the corresponding vertices in the loop model . in order to reproduce the allowed vertices for su(2)@xmath0
one needs to put additional constraints on the non - crossing loop model . for instance , the loop configuration with two strings on each edge is not allowed .
the topological entropy is by definition a quantity that is not sensitive to local details .
in contrast , it indicates a global conservation law , which on the classical level is enforced by local ( hard ) constraints . for loop models ,
this constraint is the absence of open strings .
thus , as long as the partition function contains loops on all length scales with a finite weight , the topological entropy should be given by @xmath180
independent of which particular loop model is studied .
thus , it seems reasonable that the topological entropy of all su(2)@xmath0 models is given by @xmath260 . for a more mathematical introduction the reader
is referred to the early chapters of z. wang , _ topological quantum computation _ ,
conference board of the mathematical sciences * 112 * , american mathematical society ( 2010 ) .
note the subtle difference to the loopgas configurations of the toric code model , which are equal - weight superpositions of closed loop configurations , similar to those occurring for the su(2)@xmath1 anyon theory , where all coefficients @xmath99 are strictly positive and of identical magnitude . | arxiv |
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there have been six recent detections of transient radio bursts whose dispersion measures ( dms ) are so large that their emission has been suggested to originate at cosmological distances ( lorimer et al.2007 ; keane et al.2010 ; thornton et al.2013 ) .
a substantial fraction of the dms of these bursts are attributed to baryons in the diffuse inter - galactic medium , heralding the possibility of probing the entire baryonic content of the universe out to which these bursts can be detected .
measurement of the dispersion delay as a function of frequency enables direct measurement of the total electron column along the line of sight , and for @xmath10 the contribution of the igm is expected to dominate the total dm of objects viewed through lines of sight off the galactic plane ( ioka 2003 ; inoue 2004 ) .
the existence of such bright , short - duration transients makes it possible to probe the ionized igm at cosmological distances in exquisite detail .
impulsive extragalactic radio bursts offer the prospect of measuring the turbulent properties of the inter - galactic medium ( igm ) .
turbulent plasma along the line of sight can scatter the radiation , which alters the temporal profile of the burst as it propagates through intergalactic plasma .
the effect of temporal smearing caused by scattering potentially reveals information on the igm on exquisitely fine scales , down to lengths as small as @xmath11 m .
temporal smearing arises due to multipath propagation as the radiation travels through inhomogeneities in the turbulent plasma .
radiation scattered back into the line of sight is delayed relative to radiation that arrives along the direct line of sight to a source , with the amount of radiation scattered depending on the typical angle through which it is scattered .
this angle , and hence the amount of delayed radiation , increases with the strength of the scattering .
thus both the apparent angular diameter and the temporal profile of a compact transient source depend on the amount and distribution of turbulent intergalactic plasma along the line of sight .
there is strong evidence that the radiation from these extragalactic bursts is subject to scattering at intergalactic distances . in two out of the six reported cases
the burst duration increases sharply with wavelength across the observing band , scaling as @xmath12 ( lorimer et al.2007 ; thornton et al.2013 )
. this scaling is characteristic of radiation subject to temporal broadening caused by turbulent plasma .
the reported smearing times are of order milliseconds , much larger than the microsecond timescales expected of temporal smearing expected due to the turbulence in our own galaxy along the lines of sight on which these bursts are observed .
the expected smearing time of the lorimer burst , if due to galactic scattering alone , is @xmath13s , far smaller than the observed width of @xmath14ms .
this raises the prospect that radiation from these bursts contains information on turbulence in the ionized igm and even in the host galaxy .
there are two main reasons to compute the effect of temporal smearing due to the igm .
firstly , it affects searches for short - duration transients at sufficiently low frequency .
the steep scale of the temporal smearing timescale with frequencies raises the possibility that searches for transients at low frequencies are particularly susceptible to the effects of temporal smearing . unlike dispersion smearing , temporal smearing due to multipath propagation results in an irretrievable loss of sensitivity to transients when the smearing time exceeds the intrinsic burst duration , with the observed s / n decreasing by the square - root of the factor over which the smearing time exceeds the intrinsic pulse duration . secondly , at higher frequencies , where temporal smearing is a smaller hindrance to the detection of transient sources but is still measurable , the effect affords a means of probing the evolution of the igm itself .
this is attractive because it furnishes a means of probing the history of energy deposition in the igm .
the sources invoked to explain reionization of the universe and feedback associated with galaxy formation inject energy into the igm on large scales , driving a turbulent cascade that should drive the evolution of inhomogeneity in the igm .
sources of energy input include the radiative and mechanical energy of agn and their jets , the uv and x - ray emission and stellar winds from young stars and the flows driven by supernovae ( cen & ostriker 2006 and references therein ) .
the subject of intergalactic scattering is coming to the fore with the inevitability of detecting many more extragalactic transients in the near future .
several radio arrays with wide fields of view ( @xmath15sq.deg . ) ideally suited to the detection of large numbers of short - duration transient sources are currently entering operation or being planned .
these telescopes span the frequency range 30mhz to 3ghz and include lofar , the murchison widefield array ( mwa ; tingay et al .
2013 ) , askap ( johnston et al .
2007 ) , meerkat and , eventually , the ska .
specific surveys for fast transients are planned on many of these , including the lofar transients key project ( stappers et al .
2011 ) , the commensal real - time askap fast transients survey ( craft ; macquart et al.2010 ) , and the transients and pulsars with meerkat survey ( trapum ; pis stappers and kramer ) . the parkes high time resolution universe legacy survey ( htru ; keith et al.2010 ) , even with a comparatively small field of view , has shown that the rate of impulsive radio extragalactic transient events is large .
the detection of the four high - dm pulses so far implies an event rate @xmath16sky@xmath17day@xmath17 at 1.4ghz above 1jy ( thornton et al . 2013 . ) .
the high luminosity of the events detected so far from inferred redshifts of @xmath18 suggests that it is relatively easy to detect bursts out to redshifts with lookback times to a significant fraction of the age of the universe .
this rate may be augmented from other types of yet - undetected events , such as those postulated to be generated by coherent radio emission associated with the initial explosions of grbs ( usov & katz 2000 , sagiv & waxman 2002 , moortgat & kuijpers 2004 ) .
should they be detected in great enough numbers , the combination of dm and scattering information gleaned from transients may enable tomographic reconstruction of the structure and turbulent properties of the baryonic component of the universe .
this is akin to the manner in which pulsar measurements have been used to map out the structure of our galaxy s own interstellar medium ( e.g. armstrong , rickett & spangler 1995 ; taylor & cordes 1993 ; cordes & lazio ne2001 ) .
in this paper we relate the temporal smearing of radio transients to the underlying properties of the igm . in
2 we outline the relationship between angular broadening and temporal smearing due to scattering to the turbulent properties of a plasma located at cosmological distances .
the aim of this section is to furnish the means by which future transients detections may be used to reverse engineer the structure of the igm . in
3 we explore simple models for turbulence in the igm and show how the magnitude of scattering effects would be expected to scale with redshift under several simple scenarios . in
4 we discuss existing limits and properties of igm turbulence based on measurements to date .
we conclude in 5 with a summary of the means by which these effects may be used as a cosmological tool to probe the history of energy deposition into the igm .
we consider the effects of scattering under the simplifying assumption that the inhomogeneities associated with the plasma are confined to a single plane .
the thin - screen approximation provides an accurate description of the scattering properties if the line of sight is dominated by a single turbulent region .
however the range of validity of this commonly - used approximation extends further because it is often possible to model the effects of an extended medium in terms of an equivalent thin - screen after appropriate adjustment of simple parameters , such as the screen distance and scattering strength ( see tatarski & zavorotnyi ( 1980 ) and lee & jokipii ( 1975 ) in the context of temporal smearing ) .
the thin - screen formalism elucidates the essential physics of the scattering without the hindrance of the extra mathematical formalism required to exhaustively treat a scattering in an extended medium .
the observed wavefield of a point - like source of unit amplitude emanating at cosmological distances with angular diameter distance @xmath19 and subject to phase fluctuations on a plane located an angular diameter distance @xmath20 from an observer is ( schneider et al .
1992 ; see also macquart 2004 ) , @xmath21 , \label{ugrav } \\
r_{\rm f}^2 & = & \frac{d_l d_{ls } \lambda_0 } { 2 \pi d_s ( 1 + z_l ) } , \label{rf}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath22 is the fresnel scale , @xmath23 is a co - ordinate in the plane of the observer , @xmath24 is the redshift of the scattering material , @xmath25 is the wavelength in the observer s frame , @xmath26 is the angular diameter distance from the source to the phase plane and @xmath27 represents the phase delays imparted to the radiation on this plane by the igm .
eq.([ugrav ] ) is the generalization of the fresnel - kirchoff integral to curved spacetime geometries ; it retains the same form as in euclidean space , but with the details that embody the curved geometry of the universe contained within the calculation of the angular diameter distance is given by the integral @xmath28^{-1/2 } dz ' $ ] , where @xmath29 is the hubble constant , and @xmath30 and @xmath31 , @xmath32 and @xmath33 are , respectively , the ratios of the dark energy density , matter density and radiation density to the critical density of the universe . throughout this paper
we take @xmath34 and @xmath35 . ] . in the formalism used in the treatment of gravitational lensing
which , like the current situtation , involves optics at cosmological distances , the fresnel - kirchoff integral is often written in the alternate form which makes explicit the time delay of the radiation , @xmath36 : @xmath37 , \quad t_{\rm d}({\bf x},{\bf x } ) = \left [ \frac{d_s ( 1+z_l)}{2c d_l d_{ls } } \left ( { \bf x } - \frac{d_{ls}}{d_s } { \bf x } \right)^2 + \frac{\phi({\bf x})}{2 \pi \nu } \right].\end{aligned}\ ] ] in order to compute quantities involving phase fluctuations , a model is needed to specify the electron density fluctuations . in a wide variety of turbulent astrophysical plasmas the electron density power spectrum , @xmath38 , is taken to follow a power law between some inner and outers scales @xmath39 and @xmath40 respectively .
the amplitude of the turbulence per unit length , @xmath41 , is parameterized in terms of distance along the ray path , @xmath42 , so that the power spectrum takes the form , @xmath43 the specific choice of index @xmath44 corresponds to the value associated with kolmogorov turbulence ; this index is approximately consistent with interplanetary and interstellar plasma measurements ( armstrong , rickett & spangler 1995 ) .
we confine our results to the regime @xmath45 , which pertains to most astrophysical plasmas .
a useful related quantity is the phase structure function , which measures the square phase difference between two points separated by a displacement @xmath46 on the phase screen , @xmath47 ^ 2 \rangle \\ & = & \frac{2\,r_e^2 \lambda_0 ^ 2}{(1+z_l)^{2 } } \int_l^{l+\delta l } dl \int d^2{\bf q}\ , ( 1-e^{i{\bf q } \cdot { \bf r } } ) \phi_{n_e}({\bf q},q_l=0;l ) , \label{dphidefn}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath48 is the ( small ) thickness of the phase screen . for a power law spectrum of density inhomogeneities
it is convenient to write the phase structure function in the form @xmath49 with @xmath50^{-1/2 } , & r_{\rm diff } < l_0 , \\ \left [ 2^{2-\beta } \frac{\pi r_e^2 \lambda_0 ^ 2 \beta}{(1+z_l)^2 } \,{\rm sm } \ , \frac{\gamma \left(-\frac{\beta}{2 } \right)}{\gamma \left ( \frac{\beta}{2 } \right ) } \right]^{1/(2-\beta ) } , & r_{\rm diff } \gg l_0 . \\
\end{cases}\end{aligned}\ ] ] [ rdiffdefn ] in the thin - screen approximation one assumes @xmath51 to be nonzero across the depth , @xmath48 , of the phase screen and zero elsewhere .
the quantity @xmath52 is identified as the scattering measure rather than the conventional but more cumbersome units of kp@xmath2 , which are more appropriate in the context of scattering within the galaxy . ] .
this means of calculating the sm is often appropriate for calculating the scattering properties of turbulence inside our galaxy and , by extension , turbulence in other graviationally collapsed objects , such as the host galaxy of a transient .
however , the foregoing definition of the scattering measure is inappropriate for objects that are part of the hubble flow , where the friedmann - lematre - robertson - walker metric applies . for a scattering medium that is extended along the line of sight , but in which the thin - screen formalism ( i.e. eq.([ugrav ] ) ) still applies in an approximate sense ( see the discussion in codona et al.1986 ) , the redshift of the scattering , @xmath24 , changes continuously , and eqns.([rdiffdefn ] ) need to be generalized to take this into account . furthermore , the integral over path length @xmath48 needs to be specified in such a way that it accounts for the geometry of the universe . in defining the effective scattering measure , @xmath53 for a medium that extends between redshifts @xmath54 and @xmath55 , it is useful to absorb the denominator @xmath56 into the definition of the scattering measure and refer all quantities back to the observer s frame so that , @xmath57 where we measure distances in terms of light travel time so that @xmath58 and where , @xmath59^{-1/2 } , \label{dhubble}\end{aligned}\ ] ] is the hubble radius for a @xmath60 universe . in this manner one can still use eqns.([rdiffdefn ] ) provided one makes the replacement @xmath61 . for the purposes of numerically computing the magnitude of angular and temporal broadening , we provide numerical expressions for @xmath62 for @xmath44 : @xmath63 the effect of angular broadening due to plasma turbulence
is deduced from the average visibility of the scattered radiation , @xmath64 , where the angular brackets denote an average over the ensemble of phase fluctuations .
using eq.([ugrav ] ) and averaging over the phase fluctuations , the average visibility for a point source of flux density @xmath65 is ( fant 1975 ; macquart 2004 ) , @xmath66 \nonumber \\ & \null & \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \times
\exp \langle \left [ i \phi({\bf x } ) - i \phi ( { \bf x } ' ) \right ] \rangle.\end{aligned}\ ] ] using the result @xmath67 \rangle = \exp [ -\langle \phi \rangle^2/2]$ ] , and making the change of variable @xmath68 and @xmath69 the average visibility reduces to , @xmath70 . \label{vigm}\end{aligned}\ ] ] the visibility is related to the image brightness distribution via a fourier transform , from which we deduce that the angularly broadened image has a radius ( half - width at half maximum ) , @xmath71 where @xmath72 is a constant of order unity and @xmath73 is the wavenumber in the observer s frame .
( one has @xmath74 if @xmath75 or @xmath76 and @xmath77 for @xmath44 and @xmath78 . )
a source intrinsically smaller than @xmath79 is scatter - broadened to this angular size , whereas the angular sizes of sources intrinsically larger than @xmath79 are largely unaltered by scatter broadening .
multipath propagation of radiation through a turbulent plasma also causes the signal to be temporally smeared . since the fresnel - kirchoff integral in eq.([ugrav ] ) retains the same form as in euclidean space , it follows that the form of the expression for the temporal smearing time is identical to that derived in the euclidean spacetime .
thus the solution for the smearing timescale proceeds analogously to the euclidean solution presented in goodman & narayan ( 1989 ; gn89 ) .
specifically , since eq.([ugrav ] ) can be cast in an identical form to gn89 s eq.(2.1.3 ) , the solution for the decorrelation bandwidth proceeds according to the treatment outlined in 3.3 of gn89 .
thus we find that the scattering timescale associated with a thin screen of scattering material at an angular diameter distance @xmath20 is ) is also presented in 4 of macquart ( 2004 ) where the result is discussed in the context of the gravitational lensing .
the solution is equally applicable to intergalactic scattering since both the lensing and plasma scattering formalisms are founded upon identical propagation equations , as discussed in the context of that work .
] , @xmath80 an impulsive signal of duration shorter than @xmath81 is smeared by multipath propagation to a timescale of duration @xmath81 .
combining relations ( [ thetaapprox ] ) and ( [ tauapprox ] ) links the angular size of a scattered source to the temporal smearing timescale : @xmath82 this demonstrates that observations of the angular sizes of radio sources at high redshift either determine or place upper limits on the temporal smearing timescale depending on whether the observed source size represents the scatter - broadening size ( when @xmath83 ) or the intrinsic source size ( when @xmath84 ) .
the temporal smearing timescale for a given @xmath79 depends additionally on the location of the scattering plasma along the line of sight to the source which is , a priori , unknown .
numerically , one may express the temporal smearing timescale in terms of the ratio of angular diameter distances @xmath85 and the parameters of the turbulence : @xmath86 [ tauempirical ]
one may regard the theory of angular broadening and temporal smearing at cosmological distances presented in the previous section primarily as a means to reverse - engineer the structure of the turbulent igm .
however , it is instructive to consider the relative contribution that various scattering regions embedded in the igm may make to the overall amplitude of the scattering .
it is also illuminating to compare these estimates to the amplitude of the scattering implied by the temporal smearing observed in the six lorimer bursts detected to date .
there are four obvious components that contribute to the overall scattering measure : ( iv ) the diffuse intergalactic medium , ( ii ) the turbulent plasma associated with intervening galaxies , ( iii ) plasma associated with intervening galaxy clusters , and ( iv ) intervening lyman-@xmath87 systems .
we consider contributions from each of these in turn below in terms of their differential contribution to the scattering measure as function of redshift . to be explicit , we consider the contribution each makes to the quantity @xmath88 ( i.e. the differential contribution to the scattering measure as a function of redshift ) is always interpreted as redshift , rather than distance , along the line of sight . ] . here
we consider the contribution that the diffuse ionized igm makes to the scattering measure .
since the mean baryonic density of the igm is well known ( hinshaw et al.2013 ) , it is possible to make a relatively simple model that describes the effect of the diffuse igm on the scattering measure .
the variance of the electron density fluctuations depends on the amplitude of @xmath41 and the outer scale of the turbulent medium @xmath89 . for an electron density power spectrum of the form given in eq.([phidefn ] ) , the variance in the electron density is , @xmath90 the root mean square electron density therefore depends only weakly ( @xmath91 for kolmogorov turbulence ) on the outer scale . however , this parameter is uncertain by many orders of magnitude .
it is plausibly between 0.001pc , a scale typically observed in interstellar turbulence ( armstrong , rickett & spangler 1995 ) , and 0.1mpc , the scale of the agn jets that deposit energy into the igm .
one can obtain an initial rough estimate of the amplitude of @xmath41 by relating the turbulence to the average free electron density of the igm .
the mean baryonic density of the universe is @xmath92 for @xmath93kms@xmath17mpc@xmath17 and if we take @xmath94 this implies , for a kolmogorov spectrum of turbulence ( @xmath44 ) , @xmath95 the scattering measure along the line of sight is then conventionally found by integrating @xmath41 along the line of sight , @xmath96 for a concordance universe in which @xmath60 , with the radiation contribution @xmath33 assumed negligible , one can use eq.([cn2diffuse ] ) to predict the scattering measure associated with the diffuse igm : @xmath97 \sqrt{(1+z)^3 \omega_m + \omega_\lambda } \right\ } \nonumber \\ & \null & \qquad \qquad \times \left ( \frac{\omega_b}{0.04 } \right ) \left ( \frac{l_0}{1\,{\rm pc } } \right)^{-2/3 } \,{\rm m}^{-17/3}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] while the foregoing definition of the scattering measure is a good indicator of the total electron density variation along the line of sight , it is not useful in evaluating the strength of the scattering because the wavelength of the radiation changes along the ray path and so , therefore , does the amplitude of the phase perturbation for a given density fluctuation . the correction for this effect is straightforward if the scattering takes place in a narrow range of redshift along the line of sight .
however , the correction is nontrivial if the scattering takes place across a range of redshifts in the igm . to take the changing wavelength of the incident radiation into account
, it is useful to define an alternate scattering measure , @xmath53 for which the phase perturbations are referred to a standard wavelength ( see the discussion following eqns.([rdiffdefn ] ) above ) . in this manner
the scattering measure can then be used to determine the cumulative phase variance due to scattering through an extended patch of the igm .
it is convenient to refer to quantities in the observer frame , for which the wavelength of the observed radiation is denoted @xmath25 . since the phase perturbation @xmath98 is proportional to @xmath99 , we therefore have @xmath100 and obtain the effective scattering measure of ( cf .
eq.([sm0eq ] ) ) , @xmath101 we have evaluated this integral numerically for @xmath102 and @xmath103 , and the results are shown in figure [ fig : smplots ] .
we have not found a simple analytic solution for this integral valid over the whole range of @xmath54 .
however , one may expand the integrand to second order in @xmath54 to find an approximation that is correct to within 10% at @xmath104 or approximate the denominator of the integrand as @xmath105 to find an approximation that is correct to within 10% for @xmath106 : @xmath107 & z \ll 1 , \\ 4.91
\ , \omega_m^{-1/2 } [ ( 1+z)^{5/2}-1 ] & z \gg 1 .
\end{cases } \label{smeffz}\end{aligned}\ ] ] the contribution to the scattering measure for a slice of the intergalactic medium between redshifts @xmath54 and @xmath108 is , @xmath109 & z \ll 1 , \\ 4.91 \ ,
\omega_m^{-1/2 } [ ( 1+z+\delta z)^{5/2}-(1+z)^{5/2 } ] & z \gg 1 .
\end{cases}\end{aligned}\ ] ] as a function of redshift for a @xmath102 , @xmath103 universe .
sm measures the total electron density variance along the line of sight , whereas @xmath53 corrects for the changing wavelength of the radiation as a function of redshift to determine the equivalent phase variance that would be deduced at a redshift of zero on the basis of the density fluctuations along the line of sight . in scattering theory ,
the latter is the relevant quantity.,title="fig : " ] as a function of redshift for a @xmath102 , @xmath103 universe .
sm measures the total electron density variance along the line of sight , whereas @xmath53 corrects for the changing wavelength of the radiation as a function of redshift to determine the equivalent phase variance that would be deduced at a redshift of zero on the basis of the density fluctuations along the line of sight .
in scattering theory , the latter is the relevant quantity.,title="fig : " ] we have considered above the contribution of a diffuse , homogeneously distributed igm .
however , scattering measurements from the turbulence in our own galaxy suggests that this is likely to be too simple a model to adequately capture the full breadth of scattering phenomena likely to be present in the igm . both pulsars and intra - day
variable quasars reveal that the turbulent interstellar medium in our own galaxy is highly inhomogeneously distributed ( cordes & lazio 2002 ) and intermittent ( kowal , lazarian & beresnyak 2007 and falgarone et al .
2006 and references therein ) .
there is increasing evidence that many lines of sight are , in fact , dominated not by the diffuse ism , but instead by single patches of intense turbulence whose scattering measures exceed the expected value from the diffuse ism by several orders of magnitude ; evidence for this is gleaned from so - called anomalous scattering regions ( cordes & lazio 2001 ) , from the `` secondary arcs '' observed in pulsar secondary spectrum , and in extreme scattering events ( putney & stinebring 2005 ; fiedler et al .
the occurence of localized pockets of extreme turbulence appears to be a widespread property of turbulent plasmas ; some analogous effects appear to occur in terrestrial environments , manifest in the phenomenon of travelling ionospheric disturbances ( he et al .
2004 ) .
the physical origin of anomalously strong scattering regions in the ism is not understood , rendering it unclear how one should extrapolate its properties from the interstellar environment to intergalactic plasmas .
however , the widespread nature of this phenomenon in the ism suggests that this phenomenon may be too important to ignore when considering possible models of intergalactic turbulence . to this end ,
our objective here is to construct a model which phenomenologically captures the effects of anomalous scattering without recourse to a detailed physical model of its origin .
we therefore consider a model that computes the incidence of large ( but possibly rare ) overdensities as a function of redshift , and then determine how many such regions are likely to exist along a given line of sight .
we start by positing a simple but generic model for the turbulent density fluctuations that enables us to calculate the frequency of overdense regions .
our basis for the model is a log normal distribution of density fluctuations , whose long tail permits the existence of large high - density deviations from the mean .
furthermore , simulations and in situ measurements argue that the distribution of density fluctuations in turbulent media is usefully modelled by a log - normal distribution ( e.g. vzquez - semadeni 1994 ; hopkins 2013 and references therein ) . the probability of encountering a clump with a density greater than @xmath110 is @xmath111,\end{aligned}\ ] ] and the expected number of clumps whose density exceeds some threshold , @xmath112 , for such a distribution is ( see appendix [ clumpapp ] ) given by , @xmath113 - \frac{1}{2 } \ln(f^2 + 1 ) -\ln x}{\sqrt{2 \ln ( f^2 + 1 ) } } \right ] } { ( 1+z)\sqrt { \omega_\lambda + \omega_m ( 1+z)^3 } } dz .
\label{numberblobs},\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath114 is the mean baryon density , the root - mean - square density is a factor @xmath72 times the mean , and we use the fact that the mean density of the igm increases as @xmath115 . to illustrate the behaviour of @xmath116 , we evaluate eq.([numberblobs ] ) for a specific instance .
we set the mean density , @xmath114 , equal to the mean baryonic density as a function of redshift as per eq.([rhoz ] ) , and take @xmath117 .
figure [ fig : number ] shows the cumulative number of regions whose typical density exceeds various threshold values as a function of redshift . along the line of sight as a function of redshift .
the @xmath118-axis is normalised to a turbulence outer scale length of @xmath119pc ; the number of regions encountered is inversely proportional to @xmath40 , so that an outer scale of @xmath120mpc would result in a factor @xmath121 reduction in @xmath116 .
the mean density scales as @xmath115 as a function of redshift , as per eq.([rhoz ] ) , and we assume that @xmath117 , which is to say that the amplitude of the rms density fluctuation at a given redshift is equal to the mean density at that epoch .
the black horizontal line denotes @xmath122 , below which encountering an overdensity of a given @xmath110 is improbable . ] having calculated the number of regions with densities greater than a certain threshold , it remains to compute their contribution to the scattering measure .
we approximate the scattering measure contribution associated with each overdense region as @xmath123 . in this expression for @xmath41 we are implicitly treating the outer scale @xmath40 as a proper distance .
this is justifiable in the sense that the outer scale depends only on conditions set by local physics , which is to say that the physics of the turbulence does not evolve with redshift .
it is , of course , possible that even the proper distance @xmath40 does change slowly with redshift if there is some evolution in the overall development of the turbulence throughout the igm .
however , an investigation of the possible scenarios under which @xmath40 might evolve is beyond the scope of the simple calculations presented here . given these provisions , the scattering measure and effective scattering measures are , @xmath124 we take the integer floor of the quantities inside the symbols @xmath125 because these expressions denote countable quantities ( i.e. the number of scattering clouds ) ; the integral picks up an integral amount of scattering , @xmath126 , only each time one encounters a new cloud in the igm . the quantity inside the integrand in eq.([sm0number ] ) may be considered an effective incremental element of scattering measure as function of redshift , which we denote @xmath127 .
we plot the value of both @xmath128 and @xmath53 in figure [ fig : numbersm0 ] .
the behavior of the curves of @xmath129 in this figure may be understood as follows . at low redshifts
only moderate density clouds , @xmath130@xmath131 , are common enough to make a substantial contribution to the scattering measure . however , as the mean density of the igm increases as @xmath115 , gradually larger and larger overdensities become more probable . as
the increment of sm associated with denser clouds is larger , there comes a point at which their contribution to @xmath129 dominates over that from the more numerous but less dense clouds .
thus , at low redshifts clouds of densities @xmath132@xmath131 dominate , but at @xmath133 clouds of densities @xmath132@xmath131 dominate the contribution to @xmath129 , and at @xmath134 clouds of densities @xmath135@xmath131 begin to dominate the contribution to @xmath129 . and that the mean density of the igm , @xmath114 , scales as @xmath115 , as per eq.([rhoz]).,title="fig : " ] and that the mean density of the igm , @xmath114 , scales as @xmath115 , as per eq.([rhoz]).,title="fig : " ] we now consider scattering by intervening gravitationally bound objects , namely the intracluster medium ( icm ) of rich clusters of galaxies , as well as the ism of other galaxies .
we assume that the electron densities and turbulent properties of these objects are constant ( with no evolution ) across the redshifts of interest .
the values of @xmath41 for these objects are therefore independent of redshift , and are given by : @xmath136 for scattering through a spiral galaxy similar to the milky way , and @xmath137 for scattering through the icm
. kolmogorov turbulence is assumed , and the parameters @xmath138 and @xmath139 are normalized by values appropriate for galaxies and the icm respectively . the scattering measure , @xmath140 , is obtained simply by multiplying @xmath141 with the thickness of the object ( @xmath48 ) and number of objects ( @xmath142 ) intersecting the line - of - sight to the background source : @xmath143 where @xmath141 can be @xmath144 or @xmath145 .
note also that the effective scattering measure , @xmath146 , is dependent on the redshifts of the intervening objects , so that : @xmath147 the mean number of objects intersecting a background source at a redshift of @xmath54 is given by ( padmanabhan 2002 ) as : @xmath148 where @xmath149 and @xmath150 are the typical proper radius and proper number density of the object respectively .
we evaluate the @xmath140 for galaxies and the icm , assuming that their sizes do not evolve , and that their number densities are conserved over the redshifts of interest , so that @xmath151 , where @xmath152 is the number density at the present epoch .
we used typical values for the various parameters , listed in table [ galicmparam ] .
both the mean @xmath153 and @xmath154 for galaxies and the icm are shown as black curves in figure [ fig : probgalcluster ] .
we also evaluate the probability of intersecting @xmath155 objects at each redshift , taking the statistics of object counts to follow a poisson distribution .
l c c c mean electron density & @xmath139 & @xmath156 & @xmath157 + outer scale of turbulence & @xmath138 & 0.001 pc & 0.1 mpc + proper radius & @xmath149 & @xmath158 kpc & @xmath159 mpc + proper number density & @xmath152 & @xmath160 & @xmath161 + ( left panel ) , as well as the scattering measure as a function of @xmath54 ( right panel ) .
the black lines give the mean values , while the colored curves show the 95th percentile based on poisson statistics .
we have used the parameters in table [ galicmparam ] . ]
the value of @xmath41 for individual galaxies is relatively large , typically @xmath162 , thus their @xmath140 is at least @xmath163 orders of magnitude larger ( depending on source redshift ) than that predicted for the diffuse igm .
however , due to their scarcity and smaller sizes , their contribution is unlikely to dominate for most sight - lines , since the mean number of intersecting galaxies is @xmath164 up to @xmath165 , and particularly at @xmath166 where there is a @xmath167 chance that the source is not intersected by a galaxy , following poisson statistics . in the event that a transient source is indeed intersected by an intervening galaxy , the @xmath146
would then depend on where the scattering galaxy is located along the line - of - sight , @xmath168 , and thus be reduced by a factor @xmath169 .
the ism of such intervening galaxies , especially those located at @xmath170 , would then dominate the sm towards the transient source . while the chances of intersecting a galaxy cluster is higher due to its larger size ,
approaching an average of 1 intervening cluster for a source at @xmath165 , the typical value of @xmath145 is much lower , @xmath171 , due to the lower electron densities and the larger outer scales of turbulence used in the approximations .
the icm therefore also does not contribute much to the overall sm on average , unless the @xmath138 of the icm is of order @xmath172pc , at which the contribution to the sm will be comparable to that shown in figure [ fig : numbersm0 ] .
we thus conclude that the ism of intervening galaxies and the icm are important if they do intersect sight - lines towards transient sources , but do not contribute significantly to the total @xmath140 for most sight - lines .
the statistics used , however , do not account for the fact that extragalactic transient sources are more likely to be detected within a large cluster of galaxies , or that searches for extragalactic transients will most likely be directed towards galaxies or galaxy clusters .
the ionized material associated with lyman-@xmath87 systems potentially contributes to the scattering of extragalactic sources .
the magnitude of this contribution was investigated by rickett et al.(2007 ) , whose results we briefly summarize for completeness here .
they used the haardt - madau cosmological model for reionization by the uv background ( haardt & madau 1996 ) , and assume reionization equilibrium , to infer the electron densities of photoionized gas associated with lyman - alpha clouds , whose hi column densities are well studied over a wide range of redshifts ( prochaska et al.2005 ; janknecht et al .
2006 ) . as with our models ,
these clouds are assumed to have fully developed turbulence with a kolmogorov spectrum . applying the thin screen scattering model , and summing over the scattering contributions of all clouds in the line of sight , they predict angular broadening of order @xmath173as up to @xmath174 at 5 ghz , for cloud sizes of order @xmath175 kpc .
based on the relation in equation [ tauuse ] , this translates to temporal smearing timescales of order @xmath172 to @xmath176s at 5 ghz , depending on the locations of the scattering clouds , and @xmath172 ms to @xmath177 ms at 1 ghz , which are comparable to that of the other components already discussed , as well as the limits imposed by the lorimer bursts , which we discuss below .
to supplement the foregoing estimates , we also consider an alternate empirical approach based on attempts to relate dispersion measure and scattering measure .
an empirical relation between dm and sm is observed in turbulent astrophysical plasmas in the interstellar medium ( bhat et al .
2004 ) , and it is therefore useful to consider how this relationship might relate to turbulence in intergalactic plasmas .
this approach holds practical appeal because the dispersion measure is a fundamental measureable of any implusive cosmological transient , and a relation between sm and dm would suggest a characteristic dm out to which scattering may begin to assert its importance in limiting the detectability of extragalactic transients . following the formalism of cordes et al . (
1991 ) and bhat et al .
( 2004 ) , one may consider the igm to be comprised of a collection of scattering clouds in which the respective dm and sm increments associated with a scattering cloud of depth @xmath178 are @xmath179 where @xmath180 takes the value 1.84m@xmath181@xmath182 if we assume a kolmogorov spectrum of turbulence , and where @xmath178 is expressed in kpc , @xmath139 in @xmath131 , dm in kpc@xmath131 and sm is expressed in its usual units of kp@xmath2 .
the dimensionless fluctuation parameter is defined by @xmath183 where @xmath40 is the outer scale of the turbulence , @xmath184 is the volume filling factor of the turbulent medium , and @xmath185 measures the amplitude of density fluctuations within the cloud relative to its mean value , and @xmath186 is a measure of fluctuations in the mean density between clouds .
this implies the following relation between increments in dm and sm , @xmath187 where the fluctuation parameter is found to lie in the range @xmath188 for turbulence in the interstellar medium of our galaxy ( cordes & lazio 2002 ( ne2001 ) ) .
the extension of this formalism to an intergalactic context involves two modifications which alter the ratio of the sm to the dm .
the mean density of the igm ( @xmath189@xmath131 ) is much lower relative to the ism ( @xmath190@xmath131 ) , so that a given dispersion measure variation is expected to produce an sm contribution that is a fraction @xmath191 of that expected in the ism .
2 . the characteristic cloud thickness and outer turbulent scale may be much larger in the igm than in the ism .
if we associate with outer scale of intergalactic turbulence with the scale of sources likely to inject turbulent power , such as agn jets , it may be more plausible to identify the outer scale for intergalactic turbulence with scales @xmath192mpc , in which case the fluctuation parameter @xmath193 would be a fraction @xmath194 that of the ism . however , we caution that the effective outer scale may be lower by many orders of magnitude , as it may instead be dictated by microphysical properties of the turbulence ( i.e. it may be as low as @xmath120pc ) , in which case one might expect values similar to those encountered in the ism . given these considerations , one therefore expects @xmath195 . with @xmath196
expressed in the more conventional units of pc@xmath131 and sm in units of m@xmath197 , one finds @xmath198 while this approach presents only a crude means of estimating the relationship between dm and sm in the intergalactic medium , due to the inherent uncertainty in the estimate of @xmath193 in a plasma whose turbulent properties may qualitatively differ from the ism , it does demonstrate two important properties of the turbulence .
firstly , the nature of the @xmath199dm-@xmath199sm relationship is not constant , but is expected to increase sharply with redshift , scaling as @xmath115 .
secondly , it demonstrates that the amount of scattering expected per unit of dispersion measure is likely to be several orders of magnitude lower than that found in the ism .
the range of values implied by this approximation is consistent with the order of magnitude of the sm computed by other means in previous subsections .
the lower amplitude of scattering per unit dm suggests that level of temporal smearing experienced by extragalactic bursts is substantially lower than may be expected on the basis of extrapolation from the dm - sm relationship observed in the ism , and there thus are excellent prospects of detecting extragalactic bursts out to high redshifts . the sm estimate based on the detection of temporal smearing in frb 110220 , as discussed above ,
may be used to provide a tentative estimate of @xmath193 in the igm . for this burst
, we use @xmath200 ( thornton et al .
2013 ) to find @xmath201 .
this value is similar to that obtained in highly turbulent regions of the ism , and it suggests that the outer turbulent scale may not be dissimilar from that found in interstellar environments .
it is worth considering whether high resolution vlbi images of high redshift radio sources pose any additional constraints on the angular broadening , and hence temporal smearing . in terms of the quantities derived in this paper , the angular size of the source
is @xmath202 the largest values of @xmath53 indicated by our various models are of the order of @xmath203m@xmath197 for @xmath204 and @xmath205m@xmath197 for @xmath206 , indicating that a conservative upper bound on the expected scattering broadening size is @xmath207as for @xmath7 and @xmath208as for @xmath209 .
the most stringent observational limits come from vlbi and from the minimum source angular sizes of sources as deduced by interstellar scintillation at cm - wavelengths .
the strongest vlbi limits are at the lowest frequencies since the expected angular broadening size increases quadratically with wavelength but the resolution of an interferometer degrades only linearly with wavelength .
however , the limit on igm angular broadening at @xmath7 is well beyond the resolving capabilities of vlbi : baselines larger than @xmath210 km are required at 300mhz to access sources at the angular resolutions relevant to igm angular broadening . at higher frequencies constraints from iss are more stringent .
scintillation studies of intra - day variable sources yield source lower limits on the source size of @xmath211as ( e.g. rickett , kedziora - chudczer & jauncey 2002 ; macquart & de bruyn 2007 ) at 5ghz . however , the predicted upper limit on angular broadening by the igm at this frequency is @xmath212as , far lower than the lower limits deduced from iss .
we may also utiliize the angular sizes of intra - day variable sources to place upper limits on the effective scattering measure in the igm at moderate redshifts .
the @xmath213 source j1819@xmath2143845 , contains components between 9 and 26@xmath215as in size at 5ghz ( macquart & de bruyn 2007 ) .
the smallest of these components therefore implies @xmath216m@xmath197 , where we assume @xmath217 .
similarly , the smallest component size deduced for the quasar pks 0405@xmath218385 is 9@xmath219as ( rickett et al .
2002 ) , which places an identical limit on the effective scattering measure at @xmath220 . the temporal characteristics of the six extragalactic bursts reported by lorimer et al.(2007 ) , keane et al.(2011 ) and thornton et al .
( 2013 ) may be used to further constrain the properties of scattering over cosmological distances .
temporal smearing was detected in only two bursts , and only the detection of the highest s / n event reported by thornton et al.(2013 ) was not of marginal significance : this burst , frb 110220 , possessed a ( smearing - dominated ) duration of @xmath221ms duration at 1.3ghz .
no significant detection of scattering was made in other bursts , placing limits on the smearing timescale of between between @xmath222ms and @xmath223ms at the same frequency .
moreover , we note that the upper limit on the dm@xmath224pc@xmath131 , @xmath225ms duration burst ( frb 110703 ) is smaller than the duration of frb 110220 , despite occurring at the lower dm of @xmath226pc@xmath131 .
this indicates that there is appreciable variation in the smearing timescale of extragalactic bursts between different lines of sight .
we use eqns.([tauempirical1]-[tauempirical2 ] ) to determine the effective scattering measure implied by these durations .
the frequency dependence of the temporal smearing observed in frb 110220 , @xmath227 is consistent with both scattering in which @xmath75 ( @xmath228 ) or in which @xmath78 ( @xmath229 ) .
since the observed pulse shape is the convolution of the intrinsic pulse shape with the pulse broadening kernel , we attribute 4ms to the temporal smearing timescale in frb 110220 , which implies the following @xmath230 this may be regarded as an upper limit on the effective scattering measure of the igm in the sense that some component of the temporal smearing may originate in the interstellar medium of the host galaxy .
more generally , the absence of broadening in the other bursts implies @xmath231 the scattering is particularly constraining for frbs 110627 and 120127 , with durations of @xmath232ms and @xmath222ms respectively ( thornton et al.2013 ) .
the extension of the scattering theory above to cosmological distances allows us to immediately address an important issue related to the origin of scattering in high - dm lorimer - like bursts .
specifically , in several high - dm bursts the pulse width is observed to increase as @xmath12 , which suggests that these pulses are broadened by multipath propagation by an inhomogeneous plasma along the lines of sight to the objects . for the case of the lorimer
burst itself , the predicted temporal smearing time due to our galaxy s interstellar medium is @xmath233s at 1.4ghz ( cordes & lazio 2002 ) , which is much smaller than the observed @xmath234ms pulse duration .
thus the scattering occurs either in the igm or in the host galaxy of the burst itself .
there is currently considerable debate about whether the observed temporal smearing is caused by the igm , or whether it can be fully attributed to turbulence in the interstellar medium of the galaxy in which the burst occured ( the host galaxy ) .
the foregoing theory makes a strong prediction about the redshift dependence of the scattering at cosmological distances .
this potentially enables us to distinguish between temporal smearing predominately due to the host galaxy or the igm itself .
if the scattering is dominated by turbulent plasma inside the host galaxy , the sm will reflect local conditions within those galaxies and will be decoupled from the hubble expansion that affects the density of the diffuse igm .
we discuss the effect of temporal smearing in relation to eq.([tauapprox ] ) . for scattering occurring at the host galaxy one
has , to an excellent approximation , @xmath235 so , @xmath236 thus , if one were to suppose that the values of sm of the various host galaxies are comparable between different bursts , since they reflect the instrinic properties of the environments of the host galaxies rather than the evolving density of the igm with redshift , then one has @xmath237 and @xmath238 under the assumption that the diffractive scale is smaller than the inner scale of the turbulence if the diffractive scale is smaller than the inner scale of the turbulence . in the opposite regime , @xmath78 ,
one has @xmath239 .
the observed @xmath240 dependence of temporal smearing of the high - dm pulses suggests that @xmath75 . ] . if , instead , the diffractive scale is larger than the inner scale of the turbulence , @xmath78 , one has @xmath241 .
thus , for objects in which the scattering is dominated by the interstellar medium of the host galaxy , this leads to the surprising result that the temporal smearing time will _ decrease _ as a steep function of redshift !
this result is in stark contrast to the redshift dependence of the temporal smearing time expected of scattering in the igm .
equation ( [ smeffz ] ) shows that , for @xmath242 , the effective scattering measure scales linearly with redshift , while for @xmath243 it scales proportional to @xmath244 . using eq.([tauapprox ] )
, we can derive the redshift dependence of the scattering time in terms of the redshift of the burst , @xmath245 : @xmath246 this result is subject to the assumption that the diffractive scale is smaller than the inner scale of the turbulence ; this assumption is supported by the observed frequency dependence of the temporal smearing of the frbs observed so far . for completeness
, however , we also quote the results for the case in which the diffractive scale exceeds the inner scale of the turbulence : @xmath247 the redshift dependence of the ratio @xmath248 must also be taken into account when examining the temporal smearing time .
however , at @xmath249 this ratio generally exhibits only a weak dependence on source redshift , and therefore does not strongly alter the redshift dependence of the temporal smearing timescale .
figure [ fig : dlratio ] shows the evolution of the ratio @xmath250 as a function of the source redshift , @xmath245 and the effective location of the scattering material , whose redshift we parameterise in terms of the fraction @xmath251 of the source redshift , @xmath252 .
it is evident that , for most of the range of effective screen distances ( i.e. @xmath253 ) , the ratio @xmath250 turns over and is nearly flat in the range @xmath254 , and then declines slowly to higher redshifts . for @xmath255 the decline in @xmath250 with source redshift scales as @xmath256 , with the index @xmath87 increasing from @xmath257 at @xmath258 to a value of @xmath259 for @xmath260 . in the regime of very small source redshifts ,
@xmath261 , in which redshift is approximately linearly proportional to the angular diameter distance , we obtain the simple result @xmath262 \approx z_l(1 -z_l / z_s)$ ] . combining the redshift scaling of @xmath250 with the scaling expected of igm turbulence in eq.([tauigmlowhighz ] ) , we obtain an overall redshift dependence of , @xmath263 thus we see that at low redshifts the temporal smearing time is expected to increase quadratically with redshift , but turns over and only increases as weakly with source redshift beyond @xmath264 .
the foregoing results present a definitive statistical means of determining the origin of the scattering observed in high - dm bursts .
there is a strong difference in the redshift dependence of scattering due to the interstellar medium of the burst s host galaxy or whether it is due to the igm .
the scattering timescale of bursts that are scattered predominately by the host galaxy scales as @xmath265 , whereas the timescale of bursts scattered by the igm increase as @xmath266 for low redshifts , and in the range @xmath267 to @xmath268 for bursts at @xmath249 .
it should be emphasised that this distinction applies only in a statistical sense , in that there is likely to be considerable variation between the scattering properties of bursts .
for instance , one expects some variation in the sm of the host galaxy depending on its orientation relative to the line of sight .
the scattering of the host galaxy is more likely to dominate over the igm contribution on occasions when the burst is viewed edge - on through the host galaxy .
however , the fraction of bursts in which orientation plays a strong role is likely to be small .
experience in our own galaxy reveals that interstellar scattering decreases sharply at galactic latitudes @xmath269 so that , in a galaxy with scattering properties similar to the milky way , only @xmath270% of bursts would be viewed the a galactic disk sufficiently inclined for it to contribute substantially to the scattering . as a function of the source redshift , @xmath245 , and the effective redshift of the scattering material , @xmath271 . ]
our conclusions are summarised as follows : * we have generalized the theory of scattering to take into account the curved geometry of spacetime at cosmological distances . in curved spacetime
the temporal smearing timescale can be expressed in the form @xmath272 where @xmath85 is the effective scattering distance expressed in terms of angular diameter distances between the observer and the medium ( @xmath20 ) , the observer and the source ( @xmath19 ) and the medium and the source ( @xmath273 ) , and @xmath62 is the diffractive scale of the scattering medium , which is a function of the scattering measure .
numerically , one has @xmath274 the estimated amplitude of this effect therefore depends on the effective scattering measure .
this equation furnishes a means to deduce the scattering measure of the igm from measurements of temporally smeared impulsive events .
+ however , we caution that the effective scattering measure differs from the usual ( euclidean space ) definition in terms of an integral of @xmath41 over path length in two respects .
( i ) the wavelength of radiation from a redshifted source is larger when it reaches the observer than when it was scattered by an object at high redshift , say at @xmath24 , so that the observed sm is a factor @xmath56 smaller than the correct sm .
( ii ) for scattering that occurs in the hubble flow in which the friedmann - robertson - walker metric applies ( i.e. not in gravationally collapsed objects ) , the integral over path length @xmath275 must be corrected for the curvature of spacetime and is replaced by an integral over redshift : @xmath276 .
* for the purpose of completeness , we have attempted to estimate the expected effective scattering measure associated with the objects at cosmological distances .
a simple estimate suggests that the effective scattering measure is of the order of @xmath277m@xmath197 at @xmath204 and @xmath278m@xmath197 at ( @xmath279 ) for the diffuse igm .
the contribution from collapsed systems such as intervening galaxies and cluster gas will dominate the effective scattering measure for sightlines through which they intersect , but is unlikely to occur ; there is only a @xmath280 chance that a source at @xmath166 and @xmath281 will intersect a galaxy or a galaxy cluster , respectively .
an extrapolation of the dm - sm relation observed in our galaxy and modified to the densities applicable in the igm yields an estimate of the expected sm that is also comparable to the two foregoing estimates .
+ these estimates are compatible with existing limits on the angular broadening of compact sources at cosmological distances .
the deduced angular sizes of intra - day variable quasars only limit the effective scattering measure to @xmath282m@xmath197 at @xmath3 .
+ the absence of detected temporal smearing in several of the extragalactic transients detected by keane et al . ( 2011 ) and thornton et al . ( 2013 ) limits the effective scattering measure of the igm to values below @xmath283m@xmath197 at @xmath7 while the corresponding limit for the transient in which temporal smearing is detected is @xmath284m@xmath197 ; this value is a limit in the sense that it is unclear whether the host galaxy makes a substantial additional contribution to the temporal smearing of the signal . + lorimer et al.(2013 ) make use of an empirical dm - sm relation in their consideration of event rates for frbs at frequencies relevant to the mwa and lofar .
they note that the amount of scattering observed in frbs detected so far falls considerably below the empirical dm - sm relation observed in the milky way .
the rederivation of the dm - sm relation for the physical conditions of the igm , in [ dmsm ] , shows why this is the case .
one expects the amount of scattering expected per unit of dispersion measure to be several orders of magnitude lower than that found in the ism .
moreover , one predicts that the constant of proportionality between dm and sm to change with redshift as @xmath115 . *
these estimates of the scattering measure at @xmath285 suggest that temporal smearing may , _ on average _ , be less than @xmath0ms for observations at frequencies above 300mhz .
however , if the igm is clumpy one may expect variations between differing lines of sight through the igm in much the same way that large sight - line variations are observed in our galaxy s turbulence ism . *
the effects of scattering in the igm and that in the host galaxy of a bright transient event are strongly distinguished by their dependence on redshift .
this is because the baryon density in the igm increases sharply ( @xmath286 ) whereas the baryon density in the gravitationally collapsed systems ( e.g. galaxies and clusters ) is decoupled from the hubble flow .
+ for decoupled systems one has @xmath238 if the diffractive scale is smaller than the inner scale of the turbulence and @xmath241 if it exceeds the inner scale ; one expects @xmath287 if the turbulence follows the kolmogorov value of @xmath44 . in the igm ,
the redshift dependence of the scattering depends on both the redshift dependence of the effective scattering measure and on the redshift depedence of the lever arm effect associated with the effective distance @xmath288 .
we find @xmath6 for @xmath7 and @xmath8 for @xmath9 .
in table [ symtable]1 we present a summary of the most common symbols and parameters used throughout the text .
l l l @xmath289 & power - law index of the spectrum of turbulent densitity inhomogeneities & [ phidefn ] + @xmath41 & amplitude of the density power spectrum & [ phidefn ] + @xmath144 & contribution to the density power spectrum from a galaxy & [ cn2gal ] + @xmath145 & contribution to the density power spectrum from the intra - cluster medium & [ cn2icm ] + @xmath141 & contribution from either @xmath144 or @xmath145 & [ smicmgal ] + @xmath290 & contribution to the density power spectrum from a turbulent clump in the igm & [ smclumpcontribution ] + @xmath291 & hubble radius & [ dhubble ] + @xmath273 & angular diameter distance between the scattering region and the source & [ rf ] + @xmath20 & angular diameter distance between the observer and the scattering region & [ rf ] + @xmath19 & angular diameter distance between the observer and the source & [ rf ] + @xmath288 & @xmath292 & [ tauempirical ] + @xmath48 & scattering region depth & [ dphidefn ] + @xmath193 & turbulence fluctuation parameter & [ fcdefn ] + @xmath293 & wavenumber & [ thetaapprox ] + @xmath25 & wavelength in the frame of the observer & [ rf ] + @xmath39 & turbulence inner scale & [ phidefn ] + @xmath40 & turbulence outer scale & [ phidefn ] + @xmath62 & diffractive scale length & [ rdiffdefn ] + @xmath22 & fresnel scale , @xmath294 & [ rf ] + sm & scattering measure & [ rdiffdefn ] + sm@xmath295 & effective ( redshift - corrected ) scattering measure & [ sm0eq ] + @xmath81 & temporal broadening time & [ tauapprox ] + @xmath296 & temporal broadening time associated with igm scattering & [ tauigmlowhighz ] + @xmath297 & temporal broadening time associated with scattering in the host galaxy & [ tauhost ] + @xmath24 & redshift of the scattering region & [ rf ] + @xmath245 & redshift of the transient event ( i.e.source ) & [ tauigmlowhighz ] + [ symtable ]
in this appendix we consider in detail the contribution of a collection of clouds embedded in the igm whose density fluctuations follow a log - normal probability distribution .
the form of the distribution is , @xmath298 , \quad x > 0,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath219 is the mean density and @xmath299 is the standard deviation of the associated normal distribution .
the mean of a lognormal distribution is @xmath300 and its variance is @xmath301 , so if the root - mean - square density is a factor @xmath72 times the mean density , and the mean is @xmath114 , one has @xmath302 thus the corresponding probability of obtaining a density greater than @xmath110 is , @xmath111 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] this probability indicates the chance of obtaining an overdensity greater than some value @xmath110 in a given cell of turbulence . now , if the turbulence has an outer scale @xmath40 the fluctuations between adjacent cells of length @xmath40 can be taken to be mutually independent , and thus each @xmath303-sized volume in the igm contains an independent realization of the stochastic turbulence . for any wavefront propagating through a path length @xmath304 through the igm , the radiation will encounter @xmath305 independent turbulent cells .
we can use these arguments to determine the rate per unit length of encountering a region of overdensity @xmath110 : if the probability per unit cell is @xmath306 , then the rate per unit length of encountering an overdensity region is @xmath307 .
now , in general @xmath306 will depend on the redshift , because the mean density of the igm scales as @xmath115 .
we therefore write the mean density as @xmath308 and , since the variance is a multiple @xmath309 of the mean - squared , it follows that the standard deviation increases like @xmath310 .
other scalings of @xmath299 with redshift may be feasible , but we expect @xmath299 to depend on the microphysics of the turbulence , which should be redshift - independent , so we adopt the foregoing assumption as a conservative approach .
so we can now compute the mean number of overdensitites that the radiation will ecounter as , @xmath311 one thus obtains @xmath113 - \frac{1}{2 } \ln(f^2 + 1 ) -\ln x}{\sqrt{2 \ln ( f^2 + 1 ) } } \right ] } { ( 1+z)\sqrt { \omega_\lambda + \omega_m ( 1+z)^3 } } dz .
\label{numberblobsapp}\end{aligned}\ ] ] a value of @xmath116 much smaller than one signifies that it is improbable that a line of sight up to a redshift @xmath54 intersects any clouds above a density @xmath312 .
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Magnetic monopoles gauge theories
I'm quoting 't Hooft:
>
> "[...] Locally stable field configurations may exist that have some topological twist in them [...].Careful analysis of the existing Lie groups and the way they may be broken spontaneously into one or more subgroups $U(1)$, reveals a general feature: Only if the underlying gauge group is compact, and has a compact covering group, must electric charges in the $U(1)$ gauge groups be quantised (otherwise, it would not be forbidden to add arbitrary real numbers to the $U(1)$ charges), and whenever the covering group of the underlying gauge group is compact, magnetic monopole solutions can be constructed. [...]"
>
>
>
1. What are the covering groups?
2. What did he mean by saying electric charges are quantised only when the gauge group and the covering group are compact?
3. And finally how can magnetic monopoles be constructed out of quantised electric charges?
1) Universal covering groups are groups with the property of being simply connected. Each algebra has a unique covering group. The other groups, $\{G\}$, associated to the same algebra can be obtained from the covering group in the following way
$$G=\frac{\tilde G}{Ker(\rho)},$$
where $Ker(\rho)$ is the kernel of the group homomorphism $\rho:\tilde G\rightarrow G$. Once you have defined a particular representation you are able to compute this kernel. For example, you start with an $\mathfrak{su}(2)$ algebra. Then if you choose the adjoint representation you can show that $Ker(\rho)=\mathbb Z\_2$ and the group will be $G=SU(2)/\mathbb Z\_2=SO(3)$. On the other hand, if you choose the defining representation you get $Ker(\rho)=\mathbb 1$ and $G=SU(2)/\mathbb 1=SU(2)$.
2) A topological magnetic monopole has to satsfy the quantization condition
$$e^{ieQ\_m}=\mathbb 1,$$
where $Q\_m$ is the (non-Abelian) magnetic charge. This is a generalization of the [Dirac quantization condition](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_monopole#Dirac.27s_quantization). It can be shown that to satisfy this condition the $U(1)$ has to be compact because the electric charge has to be quantized as well. I am not quite sure about the result he is claiming: "a compact $G$ with compact covering $\tilde G$ implies in $U(1)$ compact". The result I know is that that when you have a spontaneous symmetry breaking $G\rightarrow K\times U(1)$, the $U(1)$ is compact if $G$ and $K$ are both [semisimple](http://mathworld.wolfram.com/SimpleLieAlgebra.html). Otherwise $U(1)$ may be non compact.
3) Magnetic monopoles are not constructed out of electric charges. However they are obtained in spontaneously broken gauge theories which in general have elctric charges in their spectrum. I suppose he just meant that quantized electric charges imply quantized magnetic charges and vice versa.
| stackexchange/physics |
oral mucositis ( om ) is a common complication of radiotherapy ( rt ) and chemotherapy ( ct ) in patients with cancer .
use of 5-fluorouracil ( 5-fu ) is one of the most common causes of om .
grade 3 - 4 mucositis , which results in delay , dose reduction , or discontinuation of ct , occurs in more than 15% of cases during 5-fu administration .
om is characterized by erythematous , erosive , and ulcerative lesions in the oral cavity .
the severity of mucositis varies from lesions with few symptoms to severe ulcers and pain that result in lower quality of life and/or death .
in addition , mucositis can have a significant economic impact because of increased hospitalization , use of opioids , and the requirement of parenteral or enteral nutrition .
on the basis of recent evidence and an evolving understanding of molecular and cellular processes in mucositis , sonis proposed a theory for the pathogenesis of om .
this theory consists of multiple , interdependent biological processes involving multiple cell types and the extracellular matrix . according to this theory ,
the initial phase of mucositis consists of an inflammatory response to radiation and/or chemotherapy - induced generation of reactive oxygen species ( ros ) .
many agents and strategies have been used to treat mucositis in patients receiving ct or rt .
treatment modalities have included oral mouthwashes , basic oral care , antibiotics , analgesics , local anesthetics , growth factors , cytokines , and biological mucosal protection .
however , none of these have proven highly effective , and there is no universally accepted protocol .
boron is a mineral that is abundant in soil , air , and the surface water of oceans .
the major sources of human exposure to boron are diet ( e.g. , fruits , vegetables , and nuts ) and water .
some studies have demonstrated that boron compounds have nutritional benefits , such as increased vitamin d biosynthesis , induction of hematopoiesis , and stronger antioxidant defenses in animals and humans .
boron limits oxidative damage by enhancing the body 's store of glutathione and its derivates , or by inducing other ros - neutralizing agents .
the promising antioxidant effects displayed by boron in previous studies suggest the potential for therapeutic benefit in chemotherapy - induced mucositis .
therefore , we hypothesized that boron would accelerate healing of mucositis induced by the chemotherapeutic drug 5-fu in a rat model .
all animals were kept in individual stainless steel cages and acclimated for 5 days at a constant temperature and humidity .
the rats were pair - fed with standard chow and given free access to water .
the animal ethics committee of gaziantep university school of medicine approved the experimental procedure . at the beginning of the experiment ,
all animals were intraperitoneally injected with 100 mg / kg of 5-fu on day 1 and 65 mg / kg of 5-fu on day 3 .
the right cheek pouch mucosa was scratched with the tip of an 18-g needle , dragged twice in a linear movement , on days 3 and 5 .
this technique has been used repeatedly to induce ulcerative mucositis , which is similar to human om .
the animals were anesthetized with xylazine hydrochloride ( xylazinebio ; 3 mg / kg ) and ketamine hydrochloride ( ketasol ; 90 mg / kg ) before these procedures were performed .
rats were randomly divided into two groups of 32 : boron group ( bg ) and control group ( cg ) .
the others were fed 3 mgkgday boron ( 99.99% pure , in powder form ; national boron institute of turkey , ) by gavage .
boron dose was determined on the basis of a previous study and constituted a supra - nutritional amount .
the beginning of the gavage was considered day 1 of the study after mucositis was induced . in the cg group ,
the animals were weighed daily and sacrificed on days 3 ( n = 8) , 6 ( n = 8) , 9 ( n = 8) , and 12 ( n = 8) , and the right cheek pouch was removed for histopathological analysis . all animals in the current study were sacrificed by cervical dislocation .
a single pathologist ( s.e . ) masked to group assignments performed histological analysis to determine the effect of boron on the course of mucositis .
after the animals were sacrificed , mucosal specimens from wounds were collected and fixed by immersion in 10% formaldehyde for at least 24 h after these sections were obtained from the tissues .
the specimens were placed in an automatic tissue processor and then embedded in paraffin to provide transverse sections of tissue .
histological evaluation was used to assess degree of inflammation , necrosis , granulation tissue , and re - epithelization .
statistical analyses were conducted with spss 15.0.1 for windows ( spss , inc . , chicago , il , usa ) .
before administration of 5-fu , all rats gained body weight , with no significant differences among groups ( p > 0.05 ) .
after 5-fu administration , all rats , including those treated with boron , experienced significant weight loss ( p > 0.05 ) .
this decrease in body weight continued over the remainder of the experimental period , with no significant differences between bg and cg [ figure 1 ] .
distribution of the mean weight of animals throughout the experiment as shown in figure 2 , the healthy rat mucosa had normal epithelium and connective tissue without inflammatory infiltration . on day 3 , both groups showed necrosis and active inflammation , but inflammation was mild in cg and moderate in bg . on day 6 ,
both bg and cg showed necrosis ; in cg , there was moderate inflammation , and in the bg , there was severe inflammation and granulation tissue around the necrotic area . on day 9
, re - epithelization began in both groups , and no difference was detected between groups .
re - epithelization was complete in both groups on day 12 , and the histopathological appearance was similar [ figure 3 ] .
histological view of healthy rat mucosa ( h and e , 100 ) histopathological view of rat oral mucosa .
( a ) control group on day 3 ; necrosis and mild inflammation . ( b )
( d ) boron group on day 6 ; severe inflammation and granulation tissue surrounding necrosis .
( e ) control group and ( f ) boron group on day 9 ; re - epithelization has begun in both groups , and is no difference between groups .
( g ) control group and ( h ) boron group on day 12 ; re - epithelization is complete in both groups and the histopathological appearance is similar ( h and e , 100 )
chemotherapy - induced om may lead to significant morbidity or discontinuation of treatment in cancer patients .
an increasing number of studies are investigating different treatment modalities for mucositis , making this one of the most researched topics in the field of supportive cancer care .
however , no effective intervention has been developed for the management of om . in this study
, we analyzed the effects of boron on wound healing in chemotherapy - induced om in a rat model .
the experimental model used in the current study was the 5-fu - induced mucositis protocol developed by sonis et al .
this model has proven very useful in pre - clinical trials of new treatment options for mucositis . in the current study ,
abrasion of the buccal mucosa and 2 doses of 5-fu - induced mucositis and caused a reduction in body weight ; this corroborates findings described in other studies .
body weight reduction occurred in both groups , with no statistically significant differences between groups , as compared on days 3 , 6 , 9 , and 12 ( p > 0.05 ) .
the similarity between groups indicates that the boron dose we used in this study did not affect weight loss in rats .
the present study used 100 mg / kg on day 1 and 65 mg / kg on day 3 , following the protocol proposed by franca et al .
the dose of boron used in the current study was determined based on the findings of uysal et al . , who reported a beneficial effect of boron on tissue regeneration .
apart from the boron , water and diet were not considered confounders , because both groups received the same water and diet . therefore , the boron dose was supranutritional , meaning that our study evaluated the effect of supplementing a conventional diet with additional boron .
the pathogenesis of mucositis is not completely understood , but both direct and indirect mechanisms are known to be involved in mucositis .
agents used to treat cancer may cause epithelial atrophy , making tissue more susceptible to traumatic or spontaneous ulceration .
other factors , such as the endothelium , cytokines , and extracellular matrix , may also contribute to the pathogenesis of mucositis .
therefore , mucositis appears to stem from a series of dynamic interactions as well as molecular and cellular events that involve all elements of the mucosa ( epithelium and conjunctive tissue ) .
the current classification describes five biological stages of mucositis : initiation , primary damage response , signal amplification , ulceration , and healing .
several anticancer agents , including 5-fu , have been shown to promote ros generation in both normal tissue and cancer cells , and overproduction of ros is a major cause of mucosal injury . in the present study ,
however , there were indications that the rate of recovery from mucositis could be improved . on day 3 , inflammation was more intense in bg than in cg . on day 6 , necrosis was observed in both bg and cg ; cg had moderate inflammation , and bg had dense inflammation and granulation tissue around the necrotic area .
it appears that the effect of boron declines as healing progresses and disappears by the time the mucosa has fully recovered .
antioxidants may affect the quantity of damaging ros , which are generated in the first of five recognized stages of mucositis .
therefore , the effect of boron may not have been detected in the latter stages .
in addition , antioxidants may play a protective role in the first stage of mucositis .
, boron has a more pronounced beneficial effect on bone and mineral metabolism than on soft tissues .
we found no beneficial effect of boron on the healing process of 5-fu - induced om .
although a supranutritional dose of boron changed the nature of the healing process , it did not affect the eventual restoration of epithelial tissue .
these findings should be interpreted with caution and in light of the limitations of the study .
indeed , the reason for publishing this limited study is not to provide a definitive conclusion , but to contribute to the knowledge of new therapeutic approaches for mucositis . additional research is warranted to elucidate the pathogenic inflammatory mechanisms involved in mucositis and the prophylactic and therapeutic roles of antioxidants . | pubmed |
Inuyasha, Legend of Zelda Showdown in Inuyasha's Forest!
**A/N:** _Who would win? You decide! Leave a comment below please._
* * *
><p><strong>Showdown in Inuyasha's Forest!<strong>
Since Naraku's defeat, Sesshomaru had learned a few things. For instance, unnecessary battles were just that. Unnecessary.
That knowledge alone, however, was not enough to deter him from the occasional battle against a worthy foe. Which is exactly what he _didn't _expect to find in an oddly-dressed human in the middle of Inuyasha's forest...
He'd been minding his own business, silently brooding the day away and enjoying the temporary reprieve from Jaken, when the sound of leaves crunching under boot caught his attention. The footsteps probably wouldn't have been heard by anyone other than a demon such as himself, such was their quiet grace. But Sesshomaru _did _hear and his curiosity took things from there, leading him directly to their source.
At first, he was confused. The boy (for he was but a boy) clearly smelled human. His ears, however, were as pointed as Sesshomaru's own. What was more was his strange attire; a green tunic and _tights?, _a curiously floppy cap and an insanely majestic shield and sword...
Link blamed himself, really. He'd been careless enough to assume the forest was deserted and subsequently let his guard down. Now, he found himself facing off against a rather peculiar sort of monster. It had the longest, palest hair Link had ever seen and armor bedecked with hellish spikes that it wore along with a bizarre, furry boa.
Futhermore, while Link considered himself somewhat of a master swordsman and appreciated the weapon as much as the next Hylian, he couldn't for the life of him understand what anyone would need with _two _swords...
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, recognizing the young man's inquisitive stare for what it really was. A warrior's appraisal. Surely this fool didn't think to challenge him?
Likewise, Link saw the man's curiously gold eyes darken with the threat of violence and assumed his fighting stance with a readiness leant only by experience. If it was a fight he wanted, well Link could deal as well as could be dealt...
Thin silver eyebrows raised in surprise when the human crouched, thrusting his ridiculous shield between them and drawing his sword with swift ease.
Although it pained him to admit such things, Sesshomaru was genuinely surprised. He'd expected him to do one of two things: run away screaming or charge blindly forward in attack. But no, despite his youth this boy seemed to have a warrior's spirit.
In fact, closer inspection wrought realizations he'd failed to notice at first. Like the glint in steely blue eyes that suggested a certain level of inner strength. And the well-toned muscles beneath the green tunic that bespoke years of hard work and training...
Link relaxed his stance somewhat but refused to drop his guard. The monster was casually regarding him, the darkness in his eyes receding bit by bit. They no longer seemed feral, though Link knew from experience not to trust appearances alone.
Appearances were generally deceiving. For instance, some opponents underestimated him based on nothing more than his lack of physical bulk and most of them were no longer around to correct their own misconceptions.
He could almost guarantee with no small amount of smugness that this monster had thought the same thing. Unlike enemies of the past, however, he was smart enough to reconsider.
Sesshomaru detested the boy's impudence. It made him want to put the human flat on his back for nothing more than amusement's sake, but to do so would be to engage in battle unnecessarily. Though he would never doubt his own power, he did not wish to start conflict with a boy who didn't seem to want any trouble. And who, admittedly, might give him a run for his money...
Link replaced the Master Sword in its decorated scabbard. It was clear by the monster's lack of offensive manuever that he wanted a fight no more than Link himself. He didn't know what it was about this opponent that made him uneasy. Maybe it was the cold and calculating aura that surrounded him. Or perhaps it was merely the feeling that Link only continued to live because this man had chosen to allow it...
Either way, both warriors continued on their chosen routes without ever uttering a word.
_Maybe one day when he's older, _Sesshomaru thought darkly.
_If we ever meet again, I will not allow him to walk away, _Link thought with determination.
_Fin?_
End file.
| fanfiction |
Cartoon X-overs 1. Prologue
Lilo and the Stitch
Prologue
Once there was a blue prince alien like koala, living in an enchanted castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the alien prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. His kind hearted servants all tried their very best to change the prince's attitude, but it didn't work, nothing had change Stitch's rude behavior.
Then one evening, Mama Cosma came to the castle and offered him a single rose, for exchange to let her out of the bitter cold. Stitch growled at the offer, and turned Mama Cosma away. But she warned him not to deceive appearances, for true breauty lies within. When Stitch turned her down again, she turned into her true beautiful form. She was really Rosalina in disguise!
Stitch tried to apologize, but Rosalina could see that there was no good in him at all. So she turned him into a beastly alien (he didn't really didn't change much at all, except he grew two antennas, and he grew some scales on his back.) She put a curse on the castle, and on all who lived there.
The rose was really an enchantment rose and will bloom for a full ten years. Stitch would be doomed to remain a hideous monster forever until the last patel fell. Unless someone could love him and brake the spell. But who will ever learn to love a hideous monster?
2. Chapter 1
Chapter 1
A little Hawaiian girl, Lilo came out of her house. She was carrying a basket in her hand with a copy of the book "Miltilda" inside. As she went over the bridge, she began to sing.
"_Little town, such a quiet village. Everyday like the one before. Little town full of little people waking up to say…" _All sorts of cartoons started poking their heads out of windows.
"Aloha!"
"Aloha!"
"Aloha!"
"Aloha!"
"Aloha!" Lilo continued her song as she strolled down the street.
"_There goes Mario with his pasta tray like always. The same meatballs and noodles to never sell! Every morning is just about the same, since the morning that we all came, to this poor belonging town!" _
"Aloha Lilo!" Mario said to her. Lilo did a little curtsey to Mario.
"Aloha Mario!"
"Where are you off to my lady?"
"Off to the bookshop. I read a wondrous navel about a 6 and a half year old girl which, and her awful parents, and her horrible principal, but her teacher was nice. She…"
That's nice!" Mario interrupted her, sitting down to enjoy his pasta. He picked up a fork. "Now let me eat my pasta, saving the princess every time from Bowser is a lot of work!" Lilo continued towards the bookshop while Mario enjoyed his pasta. The other _cartoons_ began to sing.
_"Look there she goes, that girl is strange, no questions! That little Hawaiian girl is so odd, can't you tell?"_ Myrtle joined in.
"She's never part of the crowed!"
"Cause her head is way up in the clouds!" Dr. Rip Stantwell agreed.
"_There must be more to this belonging life!" _Lilo sang as she entered the bookshop.
"Ah Lilo!" Russ T greeted her when he saw her.
"Morning Russ T!" Lilo replied. "I came to return my book?" She handed the book to Russ T as she went to look at other books in the small library.
"Finished already my dear girl?" Russ T asked her. He put away the book on the book shelf.
"Oh yes, I couldn't put it down!" Lilo answered. "Anything new?" Russ T chuckled.
"Not since yesterday!"
"OK, I pick this one!" She handed him a copy of "The Wizard of Oz." Russ T looked at it.
"But if I'm not mistaken, you read it twice!" He told her.
"But I _liked_ the book! Dorothy and Toto getting sent to oz from a tornado, and…" Russ T chuckled again. Russ T handed her the book.
"If you like it so much, then it's _yours_ my dear child!"
"But Russ T!"
"I insist!"
"Well thank you Russ T!" She exits the shop reading her book. Cartoons started singing again.
_"Look there she goes, that girl is so odd! With a dreamy off look, with her nose stuck in a book! What puzzles us most is that strange Lilo!" Lilo shows some Mareep a page on a fountain while singing. _
_"Isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part just wait and see! Here is where she and her dog lands in oz! She won't meet the scarecrow until chapter three!" _She went away from the fountain, still reading her book. Than a shot could be herd! A poor dead Tallow fell from the sky.
"I got it, I got it!" Escargoon shouted. He tried to catch the fallen Tallow but failed, so he put it his bag instead. He then went to congladuate the owner of the bazooka, Wario.
"Nice shot Wario!" he told him.
"I know!" Wario said. "I'm the bust hunter in the world!"
"Mario, a beast, and even a girl wouldn't stand a chance!" Escargoon said.
"In speaking of girls," Wario told Escargoon. "I'm gonna merry that one!" Wario pointed to Lilo. Escargoon looked at her.
"But she's too young!" Escargoon told him.
"I can arrange that!" Wario began to sing.
_"From the moment I saw her, she was gorgeous and I fell! She's my type, so I'm planning to be wed to Lilo!" _Lilo walks pass Wario without looking away from her book; Escargoon and Wario tries to follow Lilo with the surrounding of the singing cartoons.
_"There must be more to this belonging life!" _Lilo finally sang.
_"Someday I'll make Lilo my wife!" _Wario sang. The cartoons sang louder.
_"She's nothing but the rest of us, that Lilo!" _The song ended, and Wario finally got to be with Lilo.
"Hello Lilo!" Wario greeted.
"Aloha Wario!" Lilo replied. Wario took Lilo's book to look at.
"Wario, may I please have my book back?"
"How can you read this? It's stupid, got no pictures in it!"
"Well some people use their imagination. Like right now, Dorothy's a sponge, Toto's a snail, Scarecrow's a fairy, Tin man's a blue alien, and Cowardly Lion's a duck!"
"That's some stupid imagination there young missy!" Escargoon said. "Unless Toto's me, then I'm ok with it!"
"It's time you stop reading books, and pay attention to me more!" Wario told Lilo, he tosses the book in the mud.
"It's not right for a little girl to read." Lilo picked up her book and cleaned it.
"Wario, you're prime evil!" Wario laughed.
"Thank you Lilo! Hey why not look at all of my trophies at my place?
"Maybe later."
"What's wrong with her?" Blonda asked.
"He's crazy because he's dreamy!" Wendy Koopa added.
"I'm sorry but I can't Wario! I got to go and help my father!" Lilo told Wario and Escargoon.
"Yeah, that crazy old mustashed toad needs all the help he can get!" Escargoon said, he and Wario laughed.
"Don't you _dare _talk to my father that way!" Lilo screeched. Wario stopped laughing.
"Yeah don't you dare talk to her father that way!" Wario bonked Escargoon on the head. Escargoon stopped laughing, and rubbed his head.
"My father's a genus and you guys know it!" Then they saw and heard an explosion from Lilo's house. Lilo rushed home, while Escargoon and Wario started laughing again.
"Dad?" Lilo asked Toadsworth when she came to the basement. "Are you all right?"
"I'm just had it with this junk!" Toadsworth said, and kicked the machine. "I'll never make it work!"
"You always say that!" Lilo told her father.
"I mean it this time! I'm going to burn it in the morning!" Lilo gasped.
"Don't do that dad! I'm sure you're fix it, and you'll win the blue ribbon at the fair!"
"Hmmmph! Rotten Pichus!"
"You can become the _greatest _inventor alive!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok, daughter hand me that screwdriver!" He went under the machine. Lilo grabbed the screwdriver. "So anything new?" Lilo handed him the screwdriver.
"I got a new book, dad do you think I'm strange?"
"Strange? No!"
"But there's no one I can talk to!"
"What about Wario? He looks like your type!"
"No dad, he's rude! He's not my type!" Toadsworth got out from under the machine.
"Well, let's test this baby out!" He turns on the machine. To Toadsworth's surprise, the machine chopped wood!
"WHOO HOO!" Lilo cheered. "It's working, it's working!"
"Sweet Pichus, it does work!" Toadsworth said.
"Now you can go to the fair!"
"Right! Hitch Ponyta, it's off to the fair!" A piece of wood hit Toadsworth's cheek, making him hit the floor.
"Good bye dad!" Lilo shouted, waving to her descending father when they were outside.
"Bye Lilo!" her dad shouted back on Ponyta. "Take care!"
"I will dad! Bye!"
They went into Forever Forest. They had gotten lost!"
"Where in the name of the princess have you taken us Ponyta?" Toadsworth asked the fiery hoarse.
Ponyta shrieked when she saw some approaching Crobats and Golbats. She ran as fast as she could! When Crobats frightened her again, she went crazy, and Toadsworth fell off of her back!"
"Ponyta _no!"_ Ponyta ran off.
"Stubborn girl!" Toadsworth went deeper into the woods. "Someone should tie her up really tightly!" Toadsworth than saw a dark castle. He looked at it, opened the gates, and went inside the castle to get warm.
3. Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Once inside the dark caste, Toadsworth looked around.
"Hello? He called. "Anyone here? _Hellooo_?"
"That old toad must have gotten lost in the woods." A Grimer named SpongeBob whispered to a Charmender named Wade.
"Shhh, be quiet so he won't hear us!" Wade whispered back.
"Hello?" Toadsworth repeated. "I lost my Ponyta and I'm looking for a place to stay for tonight." SpongeBob felt sorry for the old toad.
"Awe Wade." He told the Charmander. "Have a heart!"
"Humph!" muttered Wade. "If only our master had one, speaking of the master you know he hates trespassers, so I think the old toad should leave _immediately!_" SpongeBob stepped on Wade's foot. Ignoring Wade's yells of pain, he turned to Toadsworth.
"Of course you can stay my friend!" He told Toadsworth.
"Who said that?" Toadsworth wanted to know. He looked around. SpongeBob tugged at his vast. Toadsworth looked down at the Grimer.
"Hello sir!" he waved at the toad. Toadsworth, surprised stepped back in shock.
"Now you done it!" Wade walked towards SpongeBob. "Nice going!"
"Interesting." Toadsworth looked at Wade. Wade looked at the old toad.
"What do you want?" Wade asked.
"I never saw a _talking _pokemon before, except on TV and in certain games." He tickled Wade. Wade laughed.
"How is all this possible?" Toadsworth wanted to know. Suddenly Toadsworth sneezed all over Wade!
"Oh no!" SpongeBob cried. "You must have got those nasty suds! Come on, sit near the fireplace." SpongeBob lead Toadsworth and Wade to the family room.
"Thanks!" Said Toadsworth. "You are really hospitable."
"I know!" SpongeBob agreed.
"No! Remember what the master will think of this!" Wade reminded SpongeBob.
"Pish posh Wade!" Spongebob comforted Wade. "The master won't mind, as long as he doesn't _know _about it!"
"Shoota!" Stitch said in the shadows, he headed towards the family room.
"How do you like it?" SpongeBob asked, when Toadsworth was sitting on the family room sofa.
"It's very nice!" Toadsworth told him. "Thank you very much!"
"Bark, bark!" Barked a Growlithe named Odie, who laid by the warm fire.
"Want some hot coca?" asked a pink Kangaskan with a yellow pointy crown floating above her head, who's name was Wanda. She went beside Toadsworth, and handed him a cup of hot coca
"Oh why thank you!" said Toadsworth as he grabbed the cup.
"You guys are the _nicest_ Pokemon I ever met!" he said as he patted Wanda on the head, he took a sip. A little dark purple Kangaskan hopped out of his mother's pouch. He had a smaller crown floating above his head just like his mother's.
"Do you like it?" he asked the old toad. Toadsworth looked at the kid Kangaskan. He stopped sipping.
"Why yes!" He smiled at the child. Toadsworth patted the little Kangaskan on the head, making the kid laugh.
"This is the best darn Hot Coca I ever tasteted!"
"My mama's a _really_ great Hot Coca maker. By the way my name's Poof!"
"Well it's a pressure to meet you Poof!" He shook Poof's hand. "You know your mama is the great…" Suddenly the room went dark real fast. Everyone in the room panicked, Poof hid quickly behind his mom.
"Uh oh!" Poof said. "Trouble's coming!" Stitch walked on all fours growling.
"Stranger here!" He growled.
"M-master let me explain," SpongeBob started. "The old toad was cold, lost, and sick, so we decided to…" Stitch interrupted SpongeBob with a loud roar. SpongeBob cowered in fear.
"Master," Wade said hiding under a rug. "I tried to stop them, but it was all SpongeBob's crazy idea, I tried to stop him, but _no!_" Stitch roared again, forcing Wade to stop and cower with fear behind the rug.
Toadsworth looked around the sofa until he saw Stitch's evil eyes glaring at him. Toadsworth stepped back, freighted.
"What you doing here?" Stitch commanded.
"I-I was lost in the woods so I…"
"Not welcome here!"
"I'm sorry; I was trying to find a place to stay! I'll leave immediately." Toadsworth began to run away when Stitch grabbed him.
"Stitch will give you place!" Stitch started dragging Toadsworth away.
"Oh _nooooo_! Toadsworth cried. "I'm too old for this kind of torchure! _Heeellllpppp_!" Stitch slammed the door shut behind him. SpongeBob, Wade, Wanda, and Poof all watched, and felt sorry for poor old Toadsworth.
Meanwhile, back at Lilo's village, Wario was gathering all of his friends to the "wedding" outside of Lilo's house. Wario stepped forward.
"I like to thank all of you to attend my wedding!" He told the guests. "Now all I got to do now is to propose to the little girl!" Some of his friends laughed, Wendy and Bronda just cried. Wario looked at Escargoon. He had a choir stick in his hand.
"Escargoon know what to do when Lilo and I come out of the house?" Wario asked the henchmen snail.
"Don't worry boss!" Escargoon told him. "I know, I strike up the band!" The band started playing by order of Escargoon. Wario bonked the snail on the head; the band stopped playing.
"Not yet!" he said.
"Sorry!" Escargoon apologized.
There was a knock at Lilo's front door.
"Awe man!" Lilo put her book down, and headed towards the door. "Just when they just got the dead witch's broom too!" Lilo looked out the door window; she gave a disgusted look when it was Wario. She had no choice but to answer the door. She opened the door to let Wario in. She took a few steps back.
"Wario!" She laughed a little as he came in. "What a surprise! I didn't know you were coming here!"
"A surprise in deed my girl!" Wario said, walking towards Lilo. "Lilo today's your lucky day!"
"What do you mean?"
"I got an offer that all of your dreams will come true!" Lilo gasped a little.
"You know about my dreams?"
"Plenty!" He sat in a chair and rested his muddy shoes on Lilo's book.
"Imagine this Lilo! My latest hunt roasting in the fire, while the little ones play with the hunting dogs! We'll have six or seven."
"Puppies?" Lilo asked, hopefully. She grabbed her book from under Wario's smelly feet, and wiped it off.
"_No!_" Wario stood up. "Handsome hunting boys like me! And you know who the lucky mother is going to be?" Lilo put her book back on the self.
"A peanut butter sandwich?"
"You Lilo!" Lilo backed away to the front door, Wario followed.
"Wario, I'm shocked. I-I don't know what to say!"
"Say you'll be my wife Lilo! Come on, _say it!"_
"I'm sorry Wario, you're not my type!" With that, she opened the door, and pushed Wario outside before he could kiss her. Lilo closed the door. Wario fell face in the mud near the playing band. Escargoon looked at the mud soaking Wario.
"So how did it go?" he asked. Wario sneered and grabbed Escargoon by the throat!
"I assume not very well then!" Wario threw Escargoon in the mud and stormed off!
"Looks like someone has an attitude problem!" Escargoon sighed in the mud. "I bet even a _king_ will be more _stubborn_ then Wario is!"
"Is he gone?" Lilo asked opening the front door, to some wild Torchics. When the coast was clear, she went outside with a bucket in her hand, closing the back door.
"Can't you believe it?" she asked the Torchics. "He asked me to merry him; I mean I'm way too _young_ to get married?" She put a piece of cloth over her hair.
"Look, can't you imagine me as Miss. Wario? His little wife?"" Lilo threw the cloth into the barrow, and put down the basket.
"Well I'm _not _marrying that stupid mashashe fat boy!" She started to sing as she went to the prairie.
_"I want much more then this belonging life! I want adventure in the great somewhere; I want it more than I know!" _She sat down in the grass, and picked a few Dandelions.
_"And for once it'll be wonderful, if someone could understand…" _She let theDandelions go in the wind._ "I want more then they got less."_
Suddenly, Lilo herd and saw Ponyta come into the prairie.
"What is it girl?" Lilo asked Ponyta, and stood up. "Did you find dad?" Ponyta neighed. Lilo toughed the scared firely hoarse.
"Well come on Ponyta, take me to him!" Lilo unhitched Ponyta and got on her.
"We need to find my dad Ponyta!" Lilo told Ponyta. They galloped back into forever Forest.
"H-he's in there?" Lilo asked when she and Ponyta saw the dark castle. Ponyta sighed, and then started freaking out.
"Whoa girl, study!" Lilo got off Ponya's back, and calmed her down. "Don't be afraid!" Then she saw her father's cane near the gate. She went to grab it.
"Dad." she cried, holding on to the cane. She looked, into the castle and heading towards it while she sang.
"_Aloha oy, in kana alli que po_!" She took a deep breath, opened the door, and shut it behind her as she went inside.
4. Chapter 3
Chapter 3
"_Hello_?" The little girl asked when she was inside. "_Dad_?" she looked around the castle. "Daddy, where are you? _Daddy!"_
"_Mama, mama!"_ Little Poof jumped up, excitedly. Wanda was getting Poof's bath ready for him. "Guess what mama? I saw a _girl _in the castle, really I did!" Poof's mom jumped down, and glared at her son.
_"Yeah!" _She sounded like she didn't believe him. "And I saw a flying U.F.O outside. Now Poof, don't be like your father and think of _crazy _stores again!"
"But _mama! _I really saw her. There's a real little girl in the castle!"
"_Poof!_ No matter how much we want a little girl to win Stitch's heart, and break the spell, so that we can be free from our pokemon bodies forever; I won't believe it!"
"But mama…"
"Poof, _that's enough! _In the tub you go!" She placed her son in the tub of bubbly water.
"_But mama…" _
"You son's _right!_" A Blissey named Toadette told Wanda. "There is a girl in the castle! I mean, besides you, me, and Miss. Puff of course!" She went away. Wanda stood there jaw wide, and looked at Poof in the tub.
"_See?"_ Poof told his mama. He spit out some water from his mouth. "I _told_ ya!" Wanda was still shocked!
"See what you did?" Wade told SpongeBob. "You let that poor stranger in from the bitter cold, and now he's our Master's _prisoner! _See what you done now?"
"I'm just trying to _help_!" SpongeBob reminded him. "There's no punishment in being kind, is there?"
"Well _no!_ But not with the master around. You know he needs to learn to be gentle, kindhearted, respectful.…"
"_Dad_?" They head a female's little voice. They turned and saw Lilo looking for her father. "_Hello, dad_?"
"Could it be?" SpongeBob asked, he and Wade went closer. SpongeBob gasped with amazement. "Why, it is!" He started to dance with Wade. "Don't you see Wade? She came to make our ten year old dream come true! We'll be normal again; she came to break the spell!" He let go of Wade, then he and the Charmander went to show Lilo the way.
"_Dad?_" She heard a door open. She went inside. "Daddy, where are you?" She saw nothing but a dusty, musty dungeon.
_"Daddy_?"
"_Lilo_?" She heard Toadworth's faint voice. "Is that you?" Lilo felt overjoyed, and ran to the old toad's cell. She held his hand.
"I thought I'll never see you again!" Toadworth said. "Who sent you?"
"Ponyta did! I'm glad to dad, now _come on!_ I'm bursting you out of here!" She looked around for a key. Toadsworth looked serious.
"Now listen Lilo!!" He said. "You must get out as fast as you can before he comes!" Lilo looked at her father.
"Before who?" Lilo wanted to know. "I won't leave you! Who's done this to you?"
"There's no time for an explanation! Now leave before…" the little girl screamed when she felt a pointy tap on her shoulder. She turned around.
"W-who's there?" She asked nerviously. "Show yourself!" Then she saw the blue alien monster. He growled at her.
"Not welcome here!" he sneered at her.
"I'm sorry!" She told him. "Can you release my father?"
_"No!_"
"But he's old; he needs to be cared for_! Please_, he might die without my help!"
_"Don't care, shouldn't_ have trespassed!"
"Then can I take his place?" Toadsworth and Stitch looked shocked to hear this.
"Lilo, have you lost it?!" Toadsworth asked. "You can't be this monster's prisoner, he destroy you for sure!"
"You do that?" Stitch asked, sounding surprised.
"If I did, would you let my father go?"
"Yes!"
"Then it's a deal!"
"_Fine_!" He went to collect Toadsworth.
"Lilo, I'm old, I won't let you do this!"
"_Come old man!_" Stitch started to drag him away.
"No wait!" But it was too late! Lilo started to cry as she saw a Crobat take the old toad away.
"Master?" SpongeBob asked Stitch.
"_WHAT?!"_ Stitch demanded.
"I was thinking, since Lilo is staying, maybe she'll get a more comfortable room?" Stitch roared, and marched away. "Then, maybe not!"
"You didn't let me say goodbye!" Lilo sobbed when she saw Stitch, "I may never see him again!" Stitch looked at the sad girl.
"Room?" he asked.
"What?"
"Stay in tower all night?"
"No!"
"Fallow me!" so she fallowed him in the castle.
"Don't go in west wing."
"What's in the…"
_"Forbidden_!" They got to the spare room.
"Ask her for dinner!" SpongeBob offered the blue alien.
"Join me for dinner, no exception!" Stitch slammed the door.
Lilo ran to the bed, and cried.
5. Chapter 4
Chapter 4
Lilo herd a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" She asked.
"It's Wanda dear!" The voice said. "I made you some Hot Coca." Lilo went to the door, and opened it.
_"Hello_?" She called. "Anyone out there? _Hello?!_" She was surprised when she saw a Kangaskan and her kid come into the room.
"I am here to make sure you have a present stay." Wanda told her. "So, enjoy your hot coca!" Lilo stepped back a few steps.
"But you're a…a…" She bumped into something. She turned around; she had bumped into Mss. Puff who was a Wigglytuff.
"A pokemon?" Mss. Puff finished. She leaned on the bed. "I know_. Awful_, isn't it? But on the bright side, SpongeBob can't drive with those new slimy hands of his!"
"I know but it's just that you're all talking and, and…"
"Told ya she was small like me, didn't I mom?" Poof told his mom.
"Yes dear!" She answered. She poured a cup of hot coca, and gave it to Poof. "Now be a sweetheart, and give this to her." Poof grabbed it, and went to hand it to Lilo. Lilo grabbed it.
"Thanks!" She said, and took a sip.
"I can do a trick!" Poof blurted out. Watch!" Lilo watched, as the purple Kangaskan blew a bubble of saliva out of his mouth that then popped all over his face!
"_Poof!_" Wanda scolded his son. "That's impolite and gross!"
"_Oops_!" Poof confessed to his mom. "_Sorry_!"
"That was a brave thing you did sweetie!" Wanda told the little girl. "To sacrifice your freedom for our master." Lilo looked sad.
"We all think so." Miss. Puff added.
"I know." Lilo said. "But I've lost my dad, and I'm afraid that I will never see him again. Poof frowned for the girl.
"Don't feel blue." Wanda told her. "It'll all turn out just perfect in the end, you're see!"
"I hope you're right!"
"Oh look at me, busy bickering when I need to be downstairs. Come along Poof!" She started towards the door. Poof's frown vanished as he followed his mom out of the room.
"_Bye!_" He called as they departed.
"Now, what should we dress you in for dinner?" Mss. Puff asked Lilo. She dug out some clothes from the drawer.
""Pink, blue, purple?"
"That's ok, I'm not…"
"Oh I know, how about this white dress?"
"That's kind of you, but I'm not going to dinner."
"_What_?! But you simply _must go_!" Lilo was about to reply, when Wade walked in. He cleared his throat.
"Your dinner awaits!" He said, bowing.
"Where is she?" Stitch demanded to know. "Told her to come, where is she?" He asked Wanda and SpongeBob.
"You must have patience sir!!" SpongeBob told him. "She'll be down soon!"
"Have patience Stitch!" Wanda added. "The poor little girl has lost her freedom and her father all in one night. She may not be feeling the best tonight."
"Fooling myself!" Stitch said.
"What do you mean?" SpongeBob wanted to know.
"Look, me,_ monster!_" They looked at him. "Build to destroy, not love!"
"But you must see past all that!" Wanda told the alien.
"How?" Wanda looked serious. She went to Stitch and straigted up.
"Well first, you got act stately!"
"_Smile!_" SpongeBob added. Stitch tried a smile.
"Oh but, don't smile too much." Wanda said.
"Yeah, you don't want to frighten her!"
"_Chin up_!"
"Don't speak with your mouth full!"
"Be gentle, and have compassion!"
"And be patient! And the most important thing…"
"Stitch headache!" He groaned.
"You must learn to control your temper!!!" They both told him at the same time. Then Wade came in.
"_Well?_ Where _is she_?"
"Well she, she, she…" Stitch was growling. "She's not coming!" Wade then shielded himself. "Don't kill me!"
"_WHAT_?!!!" Stitch stormed upstairs. Wanda, SpongeBob, and Wade ran after him.
"Oh no, I had to say it, didn't I?" Wade said. "Master, wait!" When he got there, Stitch pounded on her door.
"_COME DOWN_!!!" He ordered.
"_NO_!"
"Ok, then _STAR_…"
"_Please_, say the P word!" Wanda begged.
_"Please_ come down?"
"_No_, I'm not hungry!"
"Then_, STARVE_!" he looked at the three. "No eat with me, not at all!" Then he stormed out of the hallway.
"Well, that didn't work as planned!" Wanda observed. SpongeBob and Wade agreed.
"Why she so _difficult_?" Stitch asked himself in his room. He tore up some blankets, and tossed over tables. "What she want me to do? _Beg?!"_ he picked up his magic mirror. "Show me girl!" The mirror glowed, and then showed Lilo and Mss. Puff in their room.
"He isn't that bad once you know him." Miss. Puff consoled Lilo.
"I don't _want _to know him!" Lilo told her. "He's gross, ugly, and mean!" Stitch felt sad when he heard this.
"Fooling myself!" he said. He put the mirror back on the table. "Won't see me, but a monster."
6. Chapter 5
Chapter 5
"Who do you think she is?" Wario said. "I mean I am nice to her and stuff."
"Uh, I don't call putting you muddy feet on someone else's book nice Wario." Escargoon told him, Wario bonked the snail on the head.
"I'm handsome, and I'm strong." He showed the mirror his muscles, Wendy and Blonda awed. "But what is it that I'm doing wrong?" He sat back down in his chair, looking sad.
"Want some root beer?" Escargoon offered him a glass.
"What's the point? Nothing helps!"
"Wario, you got to put yourself back together!" Then the snail began to sing.
_"Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Wario, looking so down in the dumps. Everyone_ _here likes to be you even when taking your lumps_!" Wario stood up, and grabbed Escargoon by his throat.
"I know how great I am!" Wario snapped. "So, don't sing!"
"Ok, sorry!" He threw the snail on the ground. Suddenly, Toadsworth came in from the cold.
"_HELP!_" He shouted. _"HELP_!" Everyone looked at the old toad, waiting to hear what he had to say. "And I'm not loony when I say a hideous monster has trapped my daughter in his castle!" Then, everybody except Toadsworth burst out laughing. Toadsworth looked hopeless.
"Is it a blue alien?" asked Plankton.
_"Yes_!" Toadsworth answered.
"With razor sharp, putrid teeth?" The Flying Dutchman added.
"Very putrid and gross!" Said Toadsworth.
"Ok old Toad, we'll help you out!" Wario told him.
"You will?" Asked a hopeful Toadsworth. Gannon and Eggman carried the old toad to the door. "Great!" Then they threw him out into the cold!
"Hmmmmm, crazy old toad!" Eggman muttered.
"I thought I was the only crazy, but _no_!" Gannon added. "Now it's Toadworth, and I'm happy with that!"
"Hey crazy old Toadsworth hmmm?" Wario pondered to himself. He then picked up Escargoon by the throat again.
"Hey Escargoon, I got an idea?"
"_Yeah_, what is it?" Wario whispered his plan to the snail.
"_No way_!" Escargoon couldn't believe it!
"_Yes way_!" Said Wario.
"What are they whispering about?"" Gannon wanted to know. "Are they getting married?" Vatti sighed.
"Uh sir." He said. "That's your new solution to everything now, isn't it?"
"Yup!" Gannon responded. "And I'm quite pleased with myself too!"
"_THEN LET'S GOOOO_!" Wario and Escargoon said together. They held hands as they went all round the room as everybody sang.
"_My what a guy, that Warrrrriiiiioooooo_!"
'Will no one help me?" Toadsworth asked, walking around the circle of buildings outside.
"Come on Poof." Said Wanda in the kitchen. "Go on and sleep with Kirby." Kirby, who was a Munchlax, was making a bubble when he snored. He was sound asleep.
"But _moooommm_!" Poof complained. He yawned. "I'm not tired, not one bit!"
"Yes, you are!" Wanda told him. "Nightly night!"
"But mom, I'm not…zzzzzz." He then dozed of and slept.
"I just don't get it." SpongeBob said. "The master said "_please_", so why did she still refuse?"
"I say she was just being stubborn!" Wade huffed.
"Well, our master has to learn how to control his temper." Wanda reminded them. "And I think this is the _perfect _way to teach him! So that one day, she'll break the spell." Suddenly Lilo came into the kitchen. Odie went to greet her. Lilo patted the dog, and laughed when he licked her.
"Awe hello there!" SpongeBob greeted. "I'm SpongeBob, and the Charmander's Wade, how can I help you miss?"
"I'm a little hungry." Lilo answered. "Can you make me something?"
"Oh sure!" SpongeBob answered. "After all I'm the greatest fry cook in a cartoon if I do say so myself! Wanda, we got a hungry girl over here!"
"_Roger that_!" Wanda saluted, and then got to work.
"Uh, it's SpongeBob." SpongeBob told her. "But oh well, we got work to do!"
"Ok." Wade said. "But keep it down. Remember what the master said."
"But Wade." SpongeBob said. "She's our guest, and we're going to treat like her as one!"
_"But, but_…" They went out.
"And what's a fine dinner without _music_." SpongeBob said. Then, he disappeared behind the door.
_"Music_?" Wade asked, astounded. "_Uhhhhhh!_" He then fainted by Kirby and Poof, who were both awake.
"_Pyroh!_" Kirby cheered when Wade opened his eyes.
"Goodie, you're _alive_!" Poof said. "We thought you might be dead."
"Uh Poof, please tell me he didn't say the "_M"_ word."
"What, _music?_"
"Please don't say that, I have Musicophobia."
"No you don't!" He laughed, then looked puzzled. "What's _musicophobia_?"
"The fear or hatred of music."
"Then, tough luck! Because Kirby and I don't have it! Come on Kirby!"
"_Pyro!_" Kirby agreed excitedly, and followed Poof out the door.
"Wait!" Wade called after them. "Are you sure you should be taking Kirby along with you with all that food?" But they didn't hear, they were already out the door!
"Wait, I now have Monophobia, a fear of being alone! Wait!" He then dashed out of the kitchen, after them.
"What is happening mama?" Poof asked his mom when he and Kirby got there. The room was dark, and a disco ball was now up above. "Is SpongeBob going to sing?"
"Yes my dear." Wanda answered. A Laketu who was a Merkrow, gave SpongeBob a microphone. SpongeBob grabbed it.
"Thank you!" He said.
"_No problem_!" The Merkrow flew away. SpongeBob then shift himself over to Lilo.
"_GRIMERRRRRR!_" He said.
"Why you say that?" Lilo asked.
"I don't know." He admitted. "Force of habit now, I guess!" he then looked at some Swablus (Paragoombas). "_Hit it_!" They then cued the lights. Wade then came in as colors began flashing in the room. Poof and Kirby bounced up and down gently to the music. Poof noticed Wade.
"Come on Wade!" He told him. "Join the party, it's _rockin'_!"
"_Uh no_!" Wade said as he saw SpongeBob. "Look's like I'm in the nuthouse again." SpongeBob began singing in the mike.
_"Oh little girl, won't you be our guest? Let me put my amazing fry cooking skills_ _to the teat! If you just be our guest_!" He began to sing louder as the room burst into life!
"_Oh be our guest, be our guest, be our guesssttttt_!" Kooper (Wabaffett) gently wrapped a napkin around Lilo's neck.
"_And now it's time for your dinner! So that you don't stave and end up be_ _thinner!"_ Lots of Squrtles (Koopas) came in, and gave Lilo her food.
"_Pyro_!" Kirby began to drool at the sight of all the food.
"Oh no!" Poof realized. "I should've let Kirby stay in the kitchen!"
"Don't worry dear." Wanda assured him. "I'll take care of this!" She looked at the mouth watering Kirby.
"_Kirby!"_ She said. Kirby looked at her. "No food for you, they're for Lilo!"
_"Pyro_!" Kirby looked down, disappointed.
"_Be our gueeeessstttt, be our guessst, be ouurrrr guesssst_!" SpongeBob ended the song with a "_Taa Daaa_!" Lilo appladded.
"That was _wonderfu_l!" She said.
"Why thank you!" SpongeBob bowed. The rest came over to them.
'That…was…._super spectacular_!" Poof twilled once around. "You should be an entertainer!" SpongeBob chucked. Wade yawned and looked at his invisible watch.
"Is that the time already?" He looked at Lilo. "Well off you go to bed missy!"
"But I want a tour!" Lilo told him. "Can you give it to me, _please_!"
"Look I can't, it's late, and the master…"
"_Awe Wad_e, come on!" SpongeBob said.
"_But…But_…"
As the empty treys were carried away, Kirby looked sad at each one.
"Awe come on Wade!" Poof encouraged him. "Give Lilo a tour of our home!" He gave Wade the puppy dog look.
"_Oh _I can't believe I'm about to do this. Ok."
"_YES!_" Kirby and Poof jumped up and down.
"Poof, Kirby, _bed!_" Wanda ordered.
"But _mamaaaa!_" Poof complained. "I want to go on the tour!"
"You have been living in this castle for eight years now Poof. You know where everything is, now you and Kirby go to bed!"
"But _mooommm!_" Poof gave the puppy dog look to his mother. Wanda looked stern.
"_Nice try_!" Wanda told him. "But, not going to slide by easily this time. Now, _bed!_"
"_Awe_ all right!" Poof sighed. "Come on Kirby." Kirby followed. Poof then cheered up.
"Good luck on the tour!" They said thank you, as the three went into the kitchen
"_Awe right_!" Wade told them. "Follow me, and let the tour begin! They followed as the Charmander went out of the dining hall.
7. Chapter 6
Chapter 6
The tour was underway and already Wade, SpongeBob, and Odie showed Lilo a lot of stuff! They showed her the living room, the ballroom, and their bedrooms plus Odie's outside doghouse. They went past the stairs, when Lilo asked "What's up there?" She began walking up, when SpongeBob and Wade blocked the way, and grinned.
"What's up there?" She repeated.
"What's up where?" SpongeBob pretended to ask.
"There!" She pointed upstairs. "Come on, what's up there, I want to know!"
"Oh there? Ha, that's nothing!" SpongeBob lied.
"Yeah, nothing but the west wing!" Wade now realized his mistake, and covered his mouth.
"So, that's the west wing?" Lilo asked. "Wow! I wonder what he's hiding up there."
_"Nice going_!" Spongebob told Wade statically.
"But…But. I couldn't help myself." Wade confessed. "It just spat out of me!"
_"Yeah right_!"
"No really, it did!" Lilo began walking up again.
"Uh, want to see Poof's room?" SpongeBob asked.
"Yeah!" She said. "He's a kid like me, so we can relate!"
"Except the fact that's he's a boy and you're a girl." Wade pointed out.
"Well, Poof is by his mom most of the time." SpongeBob said. "So let's go!" Lilo fallowed the three down the steps. Then she stopped, she just had to find out what's in the west wing, the curiosity was killing her! So, as the three were walking, she went upstairs, and in the west wing.
When she was there, she saw a rose in a glass case. She went over, took the glass of, and looked at the rose. She was about to tough it, when she gasped as she saw Stitch in the room! Stitch quickly put the glass back over it. He glared and growled at the little girl.
"Why here?" Stitch ordered. "Told you not to come!"
"I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't know!"
_"Get out_."
"_What?_"
"_GET OOOUUUUTTTT_!" He roared. Lilo screamed, as she ran out of the room. Stitch tossed over tables, then slapped his face, and shook his head sadly.
"Where you going?" SpongeBob wanted to know, as she zoomed down the stairs, and put on her coat, scarf, and boots.
"Bark, bark!" Odie barked.
"Sorry I can't stay!" Lilo told them. "He is your problem now!"
"But." Wade started." You were going to help break the…" Lilo shut the door after her. "Spell."
_"Go_ Ponyta!" Lilo told the horse outside. She neighed and galloped with the girl on her back.
"Go girl, _go_!" Lilo then herd barking. She turned and panicked when she saw some Mightyenas after them. She encoureged the pony to go faster, The Mightianas attacked, and Lilo fell into the snow! Ponyta stopped to kick some attacking Mightianas. Lilo gasped, as she saw a fast approuthing Mightina. She ducked, as the wolf pokemon was about to attack!
Lilo looked when she herd a different roar. Stitch came to save her. She roared and battled with them. The Mightianas all ran with fear after they sense they were all losing. Stitch growled one last time then, fainted in the snow,
The little girl went to her pony. Then she looked at the alien laying in the cold snow. She felt sad and went over. She took of her shawl, and placed it over Stitch. She then hosted him on Ponyta's back. Then they both walked back to the castle.
Then, inside the castle; Lilo was rinsing a towel a pot of hat water. Poof, Wanda, Odie, Wade, Kirby, and SpongeBob.
"Here you go!" Lilo looked at Stitch who was licking his wounds.
"Oh don't do that!" She placed the towel on Stitch's arm. Stitch roared in pain. The others stepped back. Lilo just ignored it.
"Thank you for saving my life." Lilo said. Stitch looked at her.
"You're welcome." He said. The others were surprised to hear this.
"Hear that mama?" Poof asked his mother. "He said "You're welcome", it's a miracle!"
"Yes dear." Wanda told him. "I heard every word the master said."
"This better be good!" Larry told Escargoon and Wario. They were at Wario's house, sitting around the table. "I got a robbery to do in one hour, and I'm not planning to miss it."
"You will like it when I tell you." Wario told him. "I want to marry Lilo."
"And she's too young!" Escargoon added. Wario bonked him on the head.
"And her father's a loony." Wario continued. "So I want you to throw Toadsworth in the asylum and lock it until Lilo agrees to marry me.
"That's really evil Wario." Larry said. "What's in it for me?"
"All of Escargoon's money!" Wario threw bags of money on the table.
"WHAT?" Escargoon was shocked. "But Wario, I need those to…" Wario pushed Escargoon aside. "OOF!" Wario grinned at Larry.
"So?" He wanted to know. "What do you think? Will you do it?"
"Once again, pure evil!" Larry picked up one coin. "I _love_ it!"
"I'll show the beast he can't keep my girl locked up!" Toadsworth said at their house. "I'll show him who's in charge her!" He put on his coat, and went outside.
Later, Wario and Escargoon enter the house looking for Lilo or Toadsworth.
"Toadsworh! Lilo!" Wario called.
"Oh well, nobody's home." Escargoon told him. "It won't work after all." Wario picked the snail up by the neck and went outside.
"They got to be here sometime." He threw him in the snow bank. "Escargoon, don't leave until they come home!" Then Wario left.
"But, but, aw man!" He punched the snow which topped over him.
Meanwhile Stitch and Lilo were having a snowball fight outside. Poof, Wanda, Wade, and SpongeBob were watching from the inside window.
"Awe, would you look at that?" Wanda told them. "They're playing in the snow."
"I knew it will work!" SpongeBob said. Poof looked at SpongeBob.
"What?" He wanted to know.
"Yes, we're be normal again soon!"
"What?" Poof asked again. "What works?"
"Ooh! Let's get supper ready for them!" Wade agreed. Then the two went out of the room.
"What mama?" Poof asked his mom. "I didn't see anything. What works?"
_"Shhhhh_!" Wanda kissed him. "I'll tell you when you're older." Then they too left the room.
"But mom, can't you tell me _now_?" Poof asked on the way. "How much older do I have to be? Come on mom!"
Lilo?' Stitch asked after they have eaten Dinner that night (not normally). Lilo stopped to listen.
"Yes Stitch?" Lilo asked. What is it?"
"Want you to have these." Stitch pulled out some chocolates. Lilo gasped.
"I LOVE it!" She then hugged him.
"Look at this!" SpongeBob cried out when he saw them, outside building snowman.
"Well bless my soul!" Wanda said. "I can't believe it!"
What?" Poof wanted to know. He bounced, trying to see past SpongeBob, Wade, and his mother. "What are you all looking at mom?"
"You know." Wade told them, and then he began to sing. "There may be something that wasn't there before."
"What?" Poof asked.
"Oh yes." SpongeBob sang along. "There may be something that wasn't there before."
"What's there? What the heck are you guys keep talking about? Come on, just tell me!" Wanda giggled, and joined in.
"Yes, there may be something that wasn't there before."
"What's there mom?"
"Shhhh, Poof I'll tell you…"
"I know, I know! You're tell me when I'm older." He sighed. Then they all walked away.
"But mom, _come on_, I'm only 8, I got to know! Come on, what's there mama? I _really _want to know! Is it _love_ or what? _Tell me, mom_!"
8. Chapter 7
Chapter 7
_"Stitch_?" Lilo pulled out her book from her knapsack. "I want to read to you one of my favorite stories of all time!" Stitch just looked at the Hawaiian girl, and scratched his head.
_"Gabba_?" He asked. "_Story?_"
"Yes!" The girl answered. "Reading is one of my favorite pastimes."
"But Stitch _can't_ read!"
"Don't worry, I'll show you how! Come on, it'll be fun!" They went outside, sat on the balcony, and started reading _The Wizard of Oz_.
"Isn't this great guys?" SpongeBob asked his friends.
"_What_?" Poof still wanted to know. "_What's_ so great? Come on, you can tell me!"
"Why, the day we change into our normal bodies again, and never have to still be in these dull Pokemon ones."
_"Yes_." Wanda agreed, she sighed. "If only that were _true."_
"But it can be _true _my dear Wanda." SpongeBob told her. "We just got to _believe!_ Tomorrow when they fall in love, then abra cadabra _akazam_! The spell will be broken and we'll all be normal again before you know it!"
"I thought you were tired of pokemon." Poof told SpongeBob.
"I _am!_" SpongeBob replied. "I want to be normal again soon and quick."
"Then why did you say three pokemon names?"
"What you mean? I didn't say any pokemon names."
"Yes you did! _Abra, Kadadra, Alakazam_, those are three pokemon names."
"Fine smarty-pants! But why can't I say them? _Whynot_?"
"_See?_ You just did it again!"
"_Ugh_!" SpongeBob toughed his top of his head with his two slimy hands. "Not again! Pokemon is starting to mess with my brain! I have a headache, I'm going _Psyduck_! Wait, _OH NO,_ I did it again! Stop messing with me Pokemon!" Poof giggled.
"_Awe!_ To be normal again!" Wade sighed heavenly. "That'll be the day!"
"It will soon!" SpongeBob reassured Wade.
_"What_?" Wade was shocked. "_When? How_?" Then SpongeBob started singing.
"_Oh I'll be cooking again, flipping Krabby Pattys with Spats again! Even blow_ _bubbles again!"_
"_Ooh_! Blow bubbles again, that'll be _awesome!"_ Poof piped up. Wade joined in.
"_I'll be on the farm again! Being with my animal friends again! Ooh, when I'm normal again!" _It was Wanda's turn.
"_When I'm normal again! Yes only normal again! I can continue my life with_ _pride!_" She took out a picure of Cosmo, looked at it, and sighed heavenly. "And I can be _with my hubby and we can continue our love ride! Oh, when I'm a fairy again!" _
_When my mama and me are fairies again." _Poof sang_. "She can be with her boys again! And at the end, she'll say me and dada are her truest joys!" _Then they all went downstairs, and the living room burst into life with singing.
_"When I'm normal again_!" Miss. Puff sang. "_Yes, normal again! I can teach all of my students again!" _
"Plus her favorite student of all time!" SpongeBob shouted.
"Yes, I will forever be teaching this master mime!" Miss. Puff sighed.
"_I'll be cleaning Peach's castle and shop at Toad Town when I'm normal again!"_ Toadette sang as she mopped the floor with a mop.
"I can play video games and play with my dad." Poof continued_. "When mama and I are fairies again! _
_"I can endlessly annoy Squidward_!" SpongeBob sang. "_And I can go_ _Jelly fishing with Patrick when I'm normal again_."
"Aw to be able to turn into a fish again." Wanda sighed. "That would be my one true wish!"
"And if mama decides I can go to school." Poof added. "I can skip it."
_"Poof_!" Wanda madly glared at her child.
"Yes mama!"
"_Oh when I'm a sponge again, I no longer have to be grimy! GRIIMMMMER_!" SpongeBob then let out a stinky smell. Everyone plugged their noses.
"_EEEW_! Poof said disgusted. "Don't remind me!" Then they all sang together at the same time.
_"OH WHEN WE'RE ALL NORMAL AGGAAAIIIINNN_!"
"_Pyro!_" Kirby jumped up.
"But Dorothy knew what had happened." Lilo read. "But she was also glad to be home again, because there is no place like home!" She closed the book when she was done. She then looked at the alien. "Like it?"
"Oh yeah!" Stitch nodded. "Very entertaining."
"I'm glad you like it!" She put the book in her bag. "Can I go to dinner with you?"
_"Huh?" _
"Give you a second chance, you know. So can I please have dinner with you?"
"Well um,…" Stitch scratched his head. Lilo ran up and hugged him before his answer.
"Oh thank you, thank you, _thank you!_ You are the kindest creature I ever met." Stitch looked down at the hugging girl.
"Okay Lilo." Stitch decided, hugging her. "_Okay._"
When Stitch and Lilo entered the dining room, they had on their fanciest clothes. Stitch in a Tux with a red rose pined at the side and Lilo with her yellow dress. As they ate, Bootler (Duskull) played a nice tune on his violin.
Stitch gobbled down his food like a pig when he got his. Lilo just stared at him. Stitch stopped, and looked at Poof who offered him a spoon. Stitch grabbed the spoon, and tried eating with it but failed. Poof laughed until he saw his mom glaring at him and immediately stopped.
Then Lilo put down her spoon. and lifted her bowl. Stitch did the same with his, and then they both sipped their bowls. Stitch burped when he was done.
_"Sorry_!" He quickly said when he saw Lilo's disgusted look.
Then Lilo grabbed Stitch's hand, and they went to the ball room. Poof and his mom followed. Kirby escaped from SpongeBob, and raced after them.
When Poof, Wanda, and Kirby got comforted next to each other; Stitch and Lilo began their dance. Wanda began singing as the lovely couple danced on the dance floor.
"_Tale as old as time. True as it can be. Barely even friends, when somebody bends unexpectedly."_ Poof and Kirby were enjoying this, they listened to the wonderful song. "_Just a little change. Small to say the least. Both a little scared. Not a one prepared, Lilo and the Stitch! Bittersweet and strange; learning you were wrong as the sun rises in the east. Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme." _Poof rubbed effectively at his mom_._ _"Lilo and the stitch_!" She kissed Poof on the head.
"Okay Poof." She told him as Poof and Kirby yawned. "You and Kirby get to bed. Good night love!" She kissed Poof one last time before he and Kirby departed towards the kitchen.
9. Chapter 8
Chapter 8
After Lilo and Stitch finished dancing, a Delibird flew into the room. He landed on the floor.
"Master it's urgent and _dreadful _news!" Delibird swacked.
"What is it?" Stitch wanted to know. They both looked at him as he took the magic mirror out of his sack.
"Magic mirror." Stitch said. "Why you have it?"
"Allow me to demonstrate master." He looked into the mirror. "Mirror mirror in my hand, tell me who's the fairest one in all the…"
"_PARAKARRY!_" Stitch shouted.
"Sorry!" He said. "Couldn't resist." Stitch puffed at him. The Delibird quickly looked down at the mirror again. "Please show me the loco old toad that is Lilo's father." Parakarry quickly showed them the glowing mirror. Lilo wanted to protest, but she was too upset by the image that the mirror showed. For the image showed that Toadsworth collapsed trying to fight the strong cold winter winds, he coughed. The mirror then went black again.
"Oh no Dad!" Lilo said. Stitch looked on with concern.
"_What?_" He was curious to know.
"My dad is all alone in the fierce winds of winter!" She told him. "If I don't get out of here, he may die from the bitter cold at any minute!"
"Then go to him."
"What but I thought…"
"No longer prisoner, go before he dies."
"But…"
"Take mirror and _GO_!"
"Why _thank you_!" He took the mirror from Parakarry.
"Here you go!" He said. "Good luck!"
"Thank you!" Then Parakarry flew off. She looked at Stitch one last time.
"Thank you for understanding!" Then, mirror in hand; she took off. Wade, who heard and saw that the girl was leaving, dashed of to tell the others.
"HE DID _WHAT_?!" Wanda, Miss Puff, Toadette, and SpongeBob shouted together.
"He let her go." Wade answered. "I'm sorry." He looked down. "I guess she wasn't the spell breaking girl we were hoping."
"I don't get it." Poof said. "She's going _away_?"
"Yes." Wade nodded sadly.
"After all this time too." Miss Puff sighed.
"What a pity indeed." Wanda looked sad. "He finally learned to love someone."
"Uh guys?" Said Toadette. "The petal's wilting."
"It's hopeless!" SpongeBob declared, looking down. "I guess we'll be stuck in these bodies for life." He sighed sadly.
Poof wasn't to give up so easily, he had a mission! As his friends and his mother were weeping and giving up hope, he slowly left the room.
_"Phew_!" Poof said in relief in the hallway. "I made it without anyone noticing! I guess this is very sad news that they didn't realize I was walking away, oh well!" He started hopping forward. "Now all I got to do is find Lilo and…" Then the little child bumped into Kirby!
_"Oof_!" He and Kirby fell on the red carpet. Kirby and Poof shook their heads, and noticed one another.
"_Pyro_!' Kirby jumped up as he saw Poof. "_Pyro, pyro_!"
"_Shhhh,_ Kirby!" Poof went up to shush the pink star warrior's mouth. "Mama'll hear you, and my escape plan will be ruined forever."
"_Pyro_?" Kirby wanted to know as Poof let go.
"That's right Kirby; I'm running away!"
"_Pyro!_" Kirby was shocked. Kirby was about to call for help, when Poof shushed him again.
"Kirby, _nooooo,_ you'll ruin the surprise!" Poof let go, Kirby looked at him in wonder.
"I'm going to be a hero Kirby!"
"_Pyro?_"
"I'm running away to convince Lilo to break the spell for us so we can be in our regular bodies again."
"_Pyro!"_
"I know, mama will be so proud of me after this!"
"_Pyro_!" Kirby wanted to go with when Poof stopped him.
"Pyro?" Kirby looked at him.
"No Kirby, you got to stay here!"
"Pyro?"
"It's bad enough that mama will worry about me. If both of us leave, she'll have a _heart attack_. You got to make sure she doesn't! Promise to keep my secret secret?"
"_Pyro!_" Kirby saluted.
"You won't tell anyone_, right_?"
_"Pyro_!" Kirby saluted again.
"Good boy, now _bye!"_ And then he and Kirby went their seperate ways.
Poof got outside a few seconds too late; for Lilo was already riding Ponyta's back to go and collect Toadsworth!
_"Wait_!" Poof shouted, and ran after them. "Wait for me!" When he was close, he hopped and landed on Lilo's knapsack.
"_Phrew_, I made it!" The child sighed in relief. "Now I got to get in Lilo's bag before she realizes that I'm here!" He then unzipped her bag, hopped inside, then zipped it back up.
When Lilo found an uncouncesed Toadworth, she let him laid on Ponyta's back while she walked, pulling on Ponyta's reigns all the way home.
Escargoon was drawing a Tally chart in the snow while Lilo and Toadsworth got back. He was tallying the days he'd could survive in that one snowy spot until they got back. Then hourseprnts ruined Escargoon's drawing!
"_Hey_!" The snail shouted with an angry voice he looked up. "Mind your manners you…" Then Lilo got Toadsworth off the pony's back, and lead him inside.
"_Yey finally_!" Escargoon said. "They're back! I thought it would be _infinity_ until they got back!" He went to tell Larry and Wario the news.
'Lilo?" Toadsworth said when they got home. He was in bad.
"It's fine dad." She told him, sitting on the bedside. "I'm home!"
"How did you escape from that awful repugnant blue monster?"
"He's not repugnant anymore dad. He's gentle now."
_"Him_? The turbulent beast!? _Impossible!_"
"But dad, he _changed_ somehow." Then Lilo's bag shook, it unzipped, then Poof came out.
_"Hi!"_ He greeted in a friendly voice. "Or how you in Hawaii say it_, aloha_!" He hopped to the bed.
"Oh look Lilo!" Toadsworth said. "A _stowaway_!"
"I _know_!" Lilo said. "He's going to be in big doo doo when his mom finds out!" Poof hopped on the bed.
"Hello there again!" Toadsworth said to the little Joey like pokemon. "Fancy meeting you again!" Poof turned to Lilo.
"Lilo, why did you go away?" He asked. "Don't you like us anymore? Or do you hate us because we're pokemon?"
"Oh Poof!" Lilo said. "Of coerce I loved you guys even through you were pokemon that most people in the word hate. But I was just…" Suddenly, they herd a knock at the door. Lilo walked to the door.
"I _knew _it!" Poof said sadly. "No one will ever like us just because we'll pokemon." He sighed sadly. "Looks like we'll never be normal again after all." A tear strolled down his cheek as he sniffed sadly.
"_Y-yes_?" Lilo said when she saw it was Larry. "What do you want Larry Koopa?" Poof looked outside with her.
"I came to collect your loco father." Larry told her. ""He'll be with his own kind at the asane asylum." Lilo saw a trailer that read "For Kuko for Coco Puffs cartoons only." Lilo gasped.
"My father isn't crazy." Lilo said.
"And I'm _not_ kuko for Coco Puffs ether!" Toadsworth added, who came outside in his _Kuko for Coco Puffs_ slippers and robe. Escargoon snickered when he saw Toadsworth's robe and slippers, stopped snickering, and stepped forward. In his hand was a flaming touch.
"You better believe it missy!" He told her. "We all herd him gabbing his loony mouth of about a blue monster earlier." He looked at the angry mob. "Am I right?"
_"YEAH_!" Everyone shouted at once, raising their touches.
"_No!_" Lilo walked forward to them. "You can't take him; I won't let you!"
"Hey Toadsworth!" Said Escargoon. "Tell us old toad, how ugly was this monster?"
"Very ugly looking!" Toadsworth replied. The mob just laughed.
_"Get him_!" Larry snapped his fingers. Gannon and Bowser grabbed Toadsworth and carried him to the trailer.
_"No!"_ Toadsworth screamed and kicked. "I may be loony but I do not want to go in there! It smells like rotten socks, noooo!"
"Aw come on oldie!" Bowser said. "I have to live in a castle with stinky smelly kids all day, but do you hear me complain? Nooo, I learn to respect my surroundings!"
"That means you can too like I did!" Gannon added.
_"LILO, HELP_!!!" Toadsworth shouted. Lilo knew what to do, she went inside. She came back with the mirror.
"My dad's not a loony." Lilo said. Then to the mirror, she said. "Show me Stitch!" The mirror glowed; she showed them the image of Stitch in it. Everyone gasped.
"_THE MONSTER_!!!" They screamed.
"Please I know he looks dangerous." She told them. "But he's kind, sweet, and my friend."
"You have feelings for this ugly monster?" Wario asked.
"He's no monster Wario, _you are_! And I'm never _ever_ going to marry you for as long as I live!" Everyone gasped. Wario snatched the mirror from him. "Ha ha, kids!" Then he looked at everyone.
"Ok everyone!" He said. "This monster is extremely turbulent! I say let kill him. _Who's with me_?!"
"_LET'S DO IT_!" Everyone shouted.
_"Yeah!"_ Cosmo agreed with a pitchfork and a torch. "He got my wife and son in there .Heaven knows what he's doing with them right now."
"And my friend's in there!" Patrick added. "Kill stitch, kill stitch!"
"_YEAH!_" Wade's friends all protested.
"_Finally!_" Laughed Dr. Doofenshmitz. "I'm doing evil and this time Perry the Platypus won't interrupt!" He laughed until he saw Perry next to him. He was in his hat.
"Uh Parry this is not what it looks like, we were just having a…, girly tea party! Honest, this is what girls now at tea parties, I swear!" Perry just looked at him, and then grabbed his own pitchfork and torch.
"That's a good platypus!" Dr. D said. He patted him on the head. Perry stepped back. "Oh ok, you need you space, I see!"
"Let's _go!_" Wario told them.
_"Nooooo!"_ Lilo grabbed him. "I won't let you!"
"You're agaist us now! Throw them in the caller!" Wario ordered.
"In you go!" Bowser threw Toadsworth in the caller. Wario threw in Lilo next, and locked the caller door.
"This is mutiny!" Toadsworth said.
"Get us out!" Lilo commanded. She pounded on the door. The mob began going away. Poof looked at the caller, wondering if this was the end or not. Then he saw Toadsworth's wood chopper. Poof gasped in delight.
"Whoa, that's _perfect!"_
When Poof got the machine working, he jumped for joy.
_"YES!!"_ He then started it, and it went towards the caller.
"_Whoo- hoo_!" He chooed like a train. "Wait till mom and dad find out that I drove a wood chopper at the age of eight! They'll flip _and_ be happy at the same time! _Yee- haw_! _Ride on cowboy_!"
"What's that?" Toadsworth and Lilo saw the machine coming through the crack. "_GOOD GRAVY! GET DOWN LILO_! He and Lilo went to safety as the wood chopper brake through and destroy in a million pieces!
"_MY WOOD CHOPPER_! Toadsworth cried. "It's dismembered, _NOOOOO!" _He fainted. Lilo looked and saw Poof in the seat.
"_Oops!_" Poof said. "_My bad_!" He looked guilty. "But on the bright side, I got you guys free! Am I a hero or what? _Huh?! Huh_?!"
Then on Ponyta's back with Poof in the bag, and Toadsworth following; she and the pony bolted towards the castle.
10. Chapter 9
Chapter 9
"I _knew_ it!" Wade said, pacing back and fourth. "I _knew_ giving our hopes up was stupid and will eventually leave us in the doghouse!" Everyone sighed sadly.
"Now I look uglier then I was when I had that Sundae." SpongeBob said. He picked at his flabby body. "I mean look at me, I'm filthy! Kids want to watch _SpongeBob Squarepants, _not _SpongeBob GRIMMMMEEEERRRpants_. It's hopeless, we'll be pokemon forever."
"And kids don't want to see _Fairly Odd Parent and Two Pokemon_." Wanda added. "Our show will have very bad ratings, then it already is."
"And don't forget." Wade told her. "Kids will be thinking that a female Kangaskan will be married to a fairy that looks like a human, and the male fairy giving birth to a _pokemon_? If you ask me, that's just _wrong_!"
"True. That would be _completely_ messed _up_! _No one_ would watch our show then."
"And _everybody_ wants to see Wade the _cowardly duck_!" He picked at himself. "Not Wade the cowardly _Pokemon!_ I'm not even a duck anymore, just a salamander. What is up with that?!"
"_It's hopeless_!" SpongeBob said again. "_Completely hopeless_!"
"_Bark, bark_!" Odie barked, trying to get everyone's attention.
"Not now boy!" SpongeBob told him. "Can't you see we're all in deep depression?" But Odie wouldn't stop his barking.
"Dear Neptune, would you _stop_ barking!? You already remind me of Gary when _he_ gets my attention!"
""I think he wants to tell us something." Wanda suggested.
"What is it boy?" Wade asked. Odie went to the window, and barked.
"Could it be?" Wanda said, she went to look out the window. "Has Lilo returned?" Wade and SpongeBob looked out with her, and saw the mob heading towards the castle.
"Great Neptune!" SpongeBob cried. "An angry mob invasion!"
"Just what we need." Wade sighed. ""An angry mob that going to demolish our home for the pas ten year. And they look really angry indeed." Wanda gasped in horror when she saw Wario with the mirror.
"Oh my gosh!" She cried. "He has the magic mirror!"
"We got to warn the master at once!" Wade cried out.
"_Right!"_ Wanda agreed. "I'm on it!" She went out of the room.
"Come on Wade!" SpongeBob told him. "If they want a fight then darn it, we'll give them a…"
"Please no fighting." Wade said. "This is a _kid's_ story, and..,"
"Then we're brawl then."
"Oh okay. Wait, _what?_"
"Come on Wade!" SpongeBob pushed Wade to the door. "Don't have Atychiphobia now! We got work to do!"
"You mean the fear of failure? _Gotcha!"_
_"Dad! Dad_!" Poof called to his father when he hopped out of Lilo's pack, and on the streets where the mob was chanting "_Kill Stitch, Kill Stitch_!" His dad was chanting too, when he saw his son. He looked up. "_Dad! Don't!" Don't do it!"_
"A pokemon!" He said. He then crouched to Poof's level. "Hey there little Kangaskan baby. What are you doing here on the same street that a whole bunch of cartoons are having a rebellion on?"
"No dad, I'm _not _a pokemon. I'm your…."
"_Ooh_, a _talking_ pokemon! You know, you better scamper! If Ash and friends are here, they might catch you! And since you're talking, Team Rocket might kidnap you. Although they already have a talking pokemon, Meowth! He may get jealous and…"
"Dad _please_, I'm _not_ a pokemon! I'm your son! Mama and I and our castle friends were transformed into pokemon because of Rosalina's magic because of Stitch's vicious behavior! Now the only way to turn us all back to normal is if he falls in love with Lilo. Except that might not happen and we'll be pokes forever! So can you please convince Wario not to kill Stitch so that the spell can be broken? _Please Dad_, I don't want to be a pokemon forever! So _please!" _He gave his dad the sad puppy dog look. Cosmo just stared blankly at his son.
"_Whoa,_ I think you've been out of you mama's pouch for too long kiddo!" He finally said. He patted Poof. "There, there, it's all right! You'll be back with your mama soon. I won't let them catch you, I promise!" Poof backed away.
"_No dad_, I'm telling you; I'm your one and only son!" Then Cosmo laughed.
"_Yeah right_!" He laughed. "Like I gave birth to a pokemon! _That'll_ be the day!" Poof looked down sad. Cosmo stopped laughing, and consoled Poof. "Look here kiddo; you have a wild imagination for a baby pokemon! I did to when I was your age, not a pokemon of course, but you get the idea! A _wild _imagination!"
"_But dad_!" Poof sniffed, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I told you, I'm _not_ a pokemon!"
_"Yeah yeah_ kid, I know what's it like to have your imagination ruined. _When pigs_ _fly_!" Then they herd a bunch of snorts from pigs. They looked up. A swarm of pigs flew in the sky!
"I-I don't believe it!" Cosmo was astonished. "Pigs _flying_?" He looked at Poof who was done crying.
"Told ya I wasn't lying dad!"
"_POOF_!" Cosmo cried. "It _IS _you!" Poof smiled. "Come on and give you daddy a hug!"
"_Daddy_!" Poof and his dad hugged.
"_Ha, ha, ha_!" Dr. Doofenshmitz evilly. He was holding a remote. "_Finally _I have my flying pig army!" He looked at Perry. "Like it Perry the Platypus? I made them all fly with my flyotron remote! Now when the whole world sees pigs flying, they will no longer say "_when pigs fly_!" _Ha, ha, ha_! I'm an evil genius, _no_?" He laughed some more. Perry just looked at him, then at the flying pigs.
As the pokemon (servants) in the castle were all preparing for battle, Wanda was upstairs, warning Stitch of the upcoming attack.
"Pardon me master." Wanda told Stitch. He was in his room.
"Talk." He allowed.
"I must warn you that the castle will soon be under attack by an angry mob!"
"Let them come."
"_What_?! But master, they may kill you, they…"
"Don't care. Just let them come."
"Well okay." Wanda didn't know what else to say, so she just went downstairs to help with the battle.
The doors burst open, and the mob came in. They looked around the room, the room seemed to be empty, no sight of life whatsoever.
"Okay, let's go!" Wario told the mob. "Stitch must be upstairs, _come on_!" He went to the stairs, everyone followed.
"Oh, why it is so _bare_?" Escargoon wanted to know. "I'm sure Stitch couldn't manage this place by himself, he must have _servants_ or something." Bowser just about this a minute.
"That's _it_!" He said. Everyone looked at him. "This will be my second castle, since my kids are like hogging our other castle back home." Then everybody started walking again. Then Vatti saw something gooey on the floor. He scooped his finger in it.
"_Eeeeew_! What is this stuff?"
"_Vatti!"_ Scolded Gannon. "How _DARE_ you throw up in another castle without permission! _Wait_, why should I care? _Good job Vatti_!"
"But I didn't throw up highness. This was already on the carpet before we got here. I don't feel nauseous, and besides, my puke doesn't look like a goopy blob."
"You're right. Then I blame Escargoon."
"_WHAT_?!" Escargoon said. "It wasn't me! It was…" He looked at Dr. D.
"It was Dr. D with his vomitnator!"
"_WHAT_?" Dr. D said. "No it wasn't. Besides I never made a vomitnator. That's just _nasty!_ It was all Perry." Perry glared at him.
"We can talk about who puked later!" Wario said, paranoid. "Right now, let's find the little beast and kill him."
"_LET'S DO IT!"_ Everyone shouted, and ran. They stopped when they herd someone.
"It was _me!_" They herd a grimy voice say.
"_WHAT_?!" Everyone asked at once, except Wario.
"Well I didn't puke, but you'll know when you see me."
"Well show yourself!" Bowser said. "_Come on_, we're not scared! Or are you just _chicken?"_
"Well okay, come on everybody!"
_"Ha, Ha_!" Bowser laughed after a second. "They're chicken, come on, nothing to see here!" He stated to walk when pokemon came out and attacked. Everyone but Wario (who didn't get attacked) screamed. He went upstairs.
"Kirby, you know what to do!" Wade said. He let out his Flamethrower attack; Kirby jumped, and inhaled the fire!
"Hey, Munchlax can't inhale." Escargoon said. "He can eat like a pig when it comes to food, but never inhales! Only Kirby does that!"
"Oh you don't know this munchlax!" Wade told him. "Do it Kirby!"
"_Huh?_" Then Kirby leapt into the air, and transformed into Fire Kirby! He landed back on the floor.
"_What? Fire Munchlax_, that's impossible!"
"_Now do it Fire Kirby_!"
"_Wait! Fire Kirby_? But that means…_UH NO_!" He started to run, but Kirby burned him until he was all black!"
"_Uhhhhhh_, he got me again! But this time, without the king." He fainted. Wade and Fire Kirby cheered.
"_Oh boys_, time for the rules of the road!" Miss. Puff told Bowser and Gannon.
"Oh I don't want to learn." Gannon groaned.
"_Yeah_!" Bowser said. "Learning is for dumb kids with no edication."
"Oh _really?_" Miss. Puff said. "I don't like you attitudes. You two, go to the principal's office!"
"We don't have to do what you say." Bowser said. "Besides, the principal won't scare us."
"What if I told you the principal was _Barney_?" Gannon and Bowser grew big eyes and both ran off screaming.
"_NOOOOOOO! NOT BARNEY_!" Gannon screamed.
_"Yeah_!" Bowser added. "He taught me my ABCs, _NOOOOOOO!"_
"Remember boys." Miss. Puff said. "You _always_ need a good education, rather you like it or not!"
"Go my pig army, _go_!" Dr. Doofenshmitz laughed evilly as the flying pigs flew above him. "_ATTACK!_!!" The pigs flew towards the fighting cartoons.
"I know how to handle smelly pigs!" Wanda said. In her hand was a bucketful of mud. "If they rather play dirty, they might _be_ dirty while they're at it!" She was about to toss mud all over the floor, when Perry stopped her.
"What you say Perry?" She asked. "You want to fight Dr. D and his army of pigs by yourself?" Perry nodded.
"Well I suppose he _is_ your nemesis." She hesitated for a moment. "_Okay_! Do it Perry! I won't have to worry about cleaning mud off later. So, _go Perry, go_!" Perry then went into action! Wanda put the bucketful of mud on the floor. The platypus whipped every pig to the floor with his tail. When the pigs landed, they all squealed, and scampered out of the castle.
_"My pigs_!" Dr. D shirked when every pig were gone, and out of the castle. He looked at Perry. "You made them leave the castle seconds flat! Never mind, I knew you would! Now Perry meet your _doom!"_ He was about to press a button on a remote, when Perry poked him in the eyes with his fingers.
"Ow, my eyes!" Mr. D yelped. He stepped back. "I can't believe you poked me in the eyes, now I might need eye surgery. _I can't see_!" He screamed as he tripped on Wanda's bucket of mud. The bucket landed on his head, mud splattered on him everywhere! "Oh great, it feels like I just peed in my pants, I need a bath. I _hate_ to get baths, _curse you Perry the Platypus_!" Perry landed on his feet and smiled.
"Well, I guess I have to clean the mud after all." Wanda said. "_Oh well,_ when Poof and I turn into fairies again, we'll get our wands back. I'll do it then!"
"You're dead meat grimy grime!" Larry told SpongeBob. He had the freighted, sweating Grimer pinned to the floor. "Any last words_, punk_?" SpongeBob was then saved by Toadette, who tackled Larry to the ground!
_"Owwww_!" Larry said. SpongeBob looked up.
"_There_!" Toadette looked at the shocked SpongeBob. "_What_? A girl can help fight when she sets her mind to it, and if it's _absolutely necessary_." Then she walked away. SpongeBob's mouth was still agape when he saw her walking away.
Wade was being chased by the Bokoblins and the Moblins. He stopped at a dead end, he was trapped! He looked at them and went to his knees and begged.
"Please don't hurt me guys!" He pleaded. "You can take my lunch money; even through I don't have any cause I don't go to school and stuff. Oh have _mercy,_ and just don't hurt me!" A Bokoblin just shrugged and raised his spear. Wade cowered in fear. The spear was about to go down when Odie attacked it out of the Bokoblin's hands! The dog growled as he guarded the terrified salamander. All of the enemies raised their swords and spears at the pup. Odie barked loudly, then the Bokoblins and Moblins dropped their weapons and all ran away in fear. Odie barked some more. Wade looked at him.
"_Phew_, I'm saved! Thanks Odie! I guess dogs aren't all that bad at all." He laughed as the dog licked his face all over.
When all the cartoons were defeated, they all quickly ran out of the castle. Dr. D lifted off his bucket, and then fled after them. The others just cheered; they had all pulled together, and won the battle!
"_We won_!" SpongeBob cheered. "I guess there is some good about being a pokemon after all." Cosmo and Poof entered the castle.
"_Mama, mama_!" Poof called when he saw his mom. Wanda saw him and Cosmo and smiled.
"Hey Wanda!" Cosmo greeted. "Poof told me what happened to you guys. Maybe I can turn you back to normal!" He held up his wand.
"Thanks for trying dear." Wanda told him. "But our wands are useless against Rosalina's powers, so until Lilo falls in love with Stitch, there's just no use."
"_Awe man_!" He put his wand away, and then looked around.
"I remember being on the castle's property eight years ago!"
"What _happened_?" SpongeBob came in the conversation, and wanted to know.
"I brought Poof here when he was 2, to see his mom. It happened like it was only yesterday.
Flashback: 6 years ago
Poof and Cosmo were at Timmy's house. Timmy was at school. Cosmo was watching _Roadrunner_ Cartoons on TV. Two- year old Poof was looking at a picture of his mom, when he looked up.
"_Daddy?_" Two- year old Poof said. "I wanna see mommy. What _happened_ to her? Is she all right?" Cosmo turned off the TV, and went over to his son.
"_Okay kiddo_!" He decided. He picked up Poof, and they poofed in front of the creepy dark castle.
"So, s-she's _here?_" Poof shivered. Cosmo nodded. Poof looked for a sign of his mother's being here. Then he saw a Kangaskan putting a vase of flowers on the windowsill. Then he herd her talking to someone.
"Well Wanda," The voice said. "Yesterday was your son's second birthday, and _still _you don't know what he looks like."
"I know SpongeBob." The Kangaskan said. "Please don't remind me! Sometimes I wish we weren't fairies, that way I can give birth to our son and I can see him."
"But you're taking care of Kirby, that's _kind of_ having a kid of your own." She sighed.
"I know. But _still,_ I wish I could see my long lost son."
"But Wanda, if he steps in foot of this castle right now, he'll turn into a pokemon like us!"
"I know that. I hope our master finds love, and the spell's broken quick! I miss my long lost son and husband all so dearly."
"I know this is hard on you Wanda. It's been hard on all of us. But if we hold on together, I _know_ that our dreams can _never _die!"
"Oh SpongeBob, I hope so, I just hope so!" Then Poof saw a teardrop on the Kangaskan's cheek. Then the little toddler realized something. _His _second birthday was_ yesterday! He _missed his mom, and his dad missed his wife_! _And the Kangaskan said she had a son _and_ a husband! Could this pokemon really be his mom? Then his hopes rose. _Of course_ it was his mom, who else could it be?
"_Mama."_ Poof said.
"What's that kiddo?" Cosmo asked. But the toddler didn't listen. He ran towards the castle.
"_MAMA, MAMA_!" He cried as he zoomed towards the castle. Cosmo realized where his son was zooming too; he gasped, and chased after him.
"_POOF!_" He cried. "_NOOOOO_! Don't go in there! A monster lives in that castle, and he will…" But it was too late; Poof has already poofed into the castle. Cosmo looked through the window, and gasped when he saw purple smoke. Something was happening!
"I got to get help!" He said, and then he dashed of for help.
"What's _happening_?" Poof asked himself when he was in the castle. Purple and white smoke surrounded him; his wand disappeared in a flash! "Hay, what happened to my wand?! _What's happening_?!" Then there was a loud flash, and Poof dropped on his feet to the floor. He looked down at himself, and gasped. He has turned into a dark purple baby Kangaskan! Everybody else came down, he looked up. His mom then came rushing in, picked up her now pokemon son, and hugged him close with tears in her eyes.
End of Flashback.
"And you didn't get help until now_, six years later?"_ Wanda asked her husband. "When we almost have given up all signs of hope?" She glared at him. "Oh gee, _thanks _for all the help that _harmed us!"_
"Well I _tried_ getting help earlier." Cosmo told her. "Except when I told everybody, they thought that I was cuckoo. Nobody believed that my wife and son were both a monster's captives. It isn't till now that they finally understand, and besides I didn't know that they were going to have such a turbulent battle with you guys once they found you. At least you're both safe, then I'm happy!"
Meanwhile, Wario has found Stitch (after some delays from finding some Waddle Dees who all were Slowpokes, going to the many bathrooms in the castle)!
When Wario saw the alien, he aimed his crossbow at him, and fired. Stitch looked at the flying arrow headed towards him, but he just looked down in sadness. When the arrow stabbed him in the back, the alien screamed and roared in pain. Then Wario tackled him, and they both smashed the glassed window, and were now in the rainy night.
"_Ha, ha, ha_!" Wario laughed, pinning Stitch to the hard wet balcony. "Get up and fight your monster!" Stitch just looked down in despair. "Or are you too kind and gentle to fight back?! Ha, ha, ha, you sicken me!" He laughed some more. He began aiming his arrow and crossbow at him. "Any last words you _beast?_" Stitch just looked sad at him. "Well, answer me!"
"Wario, _no_!" Lilo shouted from below and Ponyta's back. Toadsworth was standing beside her. Wario and Stitch just looked at them.
"Lilo!" Wario responded. "We were just…" He thought a moment. "Having a _girly tea party_!"
"_Lilo_?" Stitch said. He looked at Wario and growled.
"Ponyta, _go girl_!" Lilo told the pony. Then she, Ponyta, and Toadsworth all headed for the castle.
"Where were we?" Wario asked Stitch. "Oh yeah!" He got his weapon, prepared to fire. "Time to _Die!!!"_ He was about to let go, when Stitch got up, roared in Wario's face, and tackled him to the ground!
"Did you _love her beast_?" Wario asked the alien. "Did you think she'll choose you when she has batter cartoons to love like _me_? Did you…" Stitch had enough; he then grabbed Wario by the neck, and held him above a ledge. Wario tried to get free, but it was no use.
"_Please_!" He pleaded. "Please, don't drop me! I-I'll do anything, just spare me and my valuable wife, I mean life!" Stitch's anger slowly disappeared as he dragged Wario back in.
_"Get out_!" He told Wario, then dropped him.
"_Stitch_!" Lilo said when she was on the top balcony.
"_Lilo!_" Stitch said happily. He went foreword, and reached out his hand. Lilo gently grabbed it.
"Came back!" Stitch gently ruffled the little girl's black hair.
"Of course!" She told him. "I couldn't…" Then Wario, who was now underneath Stitch stabbed him in the back with a pointy rock. Stitch screamed, as he lost his balance, he knocked Wario of the kedge! Wario fell, screaming to his doom.
Lilo pulled Stitch up, and laid him on the ground.
"Came back!" Stitch repeated, smiling at her.
"Of course I did!" She replied. "I couldn't have let Wario… oh if only I came here sooner."
"Better this way maybe." He was now raspy voiced.
"No, don't talk like that! You'll be fine, you'll see! Stitch toughed her cheek.
"See you one.. last… time." Lilo just looked at him.
"One last _time_? What do you mean?" But it was too late, Stitch dropped his head on the ground, his eyes now closed. Lilo dropped his hand to the floor, and gasped.
"_No!_" She began to cry and hugged him. "Oh please, don't do this to me now!" She sniffed back tears.
Wanda, Wade, and SpongeBob all come up to the balcony. They gasped when they saw the tragic site. They all looked up, and saw the last Patel on the rose began too fall! It was too late, they all looked back, tears rolled down their cheeks.
"_Please_!" Lilo sobbed. "No matter what teenaged boys say…_I love you_!" Her teardrop then fell on the alien's chest.
Suddenly, shooting stars shot down. Lilo watched as Stitch was lifted into the sky by the seven star sprits. Wanda, Wade, and SpongeBob all watched in astonishment.
Then a bright light surround Stitch, Lilo shaded her eyes, then the lights vanished, the star sprits disappeared, and Stitch laid back slowly to the ground. When he was down, he got up and looked at himself. His extra two antennae and all of his scales were now gone. Stitch then looked at the Hawaiian girl.
"_Lilo, me_!" He said.
"_Stitch!_" Lilo cried, hugging him. "It _is _you, it really is!" They then hugged, then they kissed. Then fireworks exploded in the background, turning every gloomy castle object back to it cheery self. The sky turned a bright blue, and a rainbow was now in the sky! Wanda, Wade, and SpongeBob all went to the couple. One by one, they all transformed into their normal forms.
"_SpongeBob! Wade! Wanda_!" Stitch cried out. Then they herd barking.
"_Mama, mama_!" Poof cried. He rid in on Odie's back. His dad was beside them.
"You're back!" Cosmo said. "What a relief! For a tragic moment, I thought I would have a pokemon for a wife forever, thank goodness that's not the case!" Then Odie and Poof both turned back to normal. Wanda laughed as she picked her son up.
"Mama look, _a rainbow_!" They saw the rainbow in the sky.
"_Yes!_" She agreed. "And a pretty rainbow it is too! That's what happens when it rains in the daytime, you'll see a rainbow!"
"_Ooh, look_." Cosmo said as Wanda grabbed their wands that just appeared and dropped from the sky. ""You and Poof's wands are back!" Wanda gave Poof his wand. Poof grabbed it, and hugged her.
"It's a miracle!" SpongeBob said. Lilo and Stitch agreed.
Meanwhile back at the castle, everyone was together in the ballroom. There were Cosmo with Wanda and Poof, Patrick with SpongeBob, Kooper, Bootler, Parakarry, Bootler, Lake tu, Paragoombas, Waddle Dees, Waddle Doo, Koopa Troopas, Mss. Puff, Kirby, Perry, and Toadette. Lilo and Stitch were dancing on the dance floor. Wanda sighed heavenly.
"Are they going to live happily ever after mama?" Poof asked.
"That what happens evreytime at the end of every one of Poof's fairy takes." Cosmo told her. "So _do they_ like in the storybooks?"
"_Yes my loves_." She answered with pride. "Yes they are!" They all watched happily as the two danced, danced, and kissed.
_Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme, Lilo and the Stttttiiiiittttttttcccchhhhh! _
End file.
| fanfiction |
collagen has a proven rate of success in the field of dentistry as guided tissue regeneration , root conditioning , hemostatic , and wound dressing agent .
it has inherent properties like low immune response and toxicity , ability to promote cellular growth and attachment , homeostasis , and added advantage of antibiotic incorporation .
pulpotec is commercially available as resinous cement that contains polyoxymethylene , iodoform , dexamethasone acetate , formaldehyde , phenol , guaiacol , and excipient .
its mode of action is by cicatrization of the pulpal stump at the chamber - canal interface , while maintaining the structure of underlying pulp .
so the purpose of present study was to evaluate the pulpal response to collagen particles impregnated in antibiotics ( biofil - ab ) and new commercially available cement ( pulpotec ) that can be used as pulpal medicament .
a randomized , controlled , prospective 2-year clinical study was done after obtaining the institutional ethical committee approval and an informed written consent from the parents was attained .
a sample of 40 teeth from 20 children in the age group of 7 - 10 years without sex predilection , having bilaterally retained / primary teeth which were noncarious and having at least two - thirds of the root , and indicated for orthodontic extraction were enrolled in the study from the outpatients . out of 20 children , five of them were excluded due to uncooperativeness . in the remaining 15 children ,
pulpotomy procedure was carried out on 15 teeth with collagen particles , ( biofil - ab , eucare pharmaceuticals pvt . ltd , chennai , india ) on right side ( group i ) and the rest with pulpotec cement , ( produits dentaires , sa , vevey , switzerland ) on the left side ( group ii ) .
the teeth were anesthetized and standard pulpotomy procedure was carried out under rubber dam isolation .
for group i , collagen particles were mixed with saline into paste like consistency , carried into the pulp chamber and compressed using a damp cotton pellet ; for group ii , the constituents were mixed into putty - like consistency and were carried into the pulp chamber .
the teeth were later restored with zinc oxide eugenol cement and finally with glass ionomer cement ( gc type ix , gc corporation , japan ) .
the patients were recalled after 7 , 15 , and 30 days time interval and five teeth in each group were extracted and subjected for decalcification procedure . immediately after post extraction , the teeth were fixed in 10% formalin for 48 h and placed in 10% nitric acid solution till the specimens were completely decalcified . after processing ,
these specimens were embedded in paraffin wax and sections of 5 m thickness were obtained using soft tissue microtome which were further stained using hematoxylin and eosin solutions .
two samples in each time interval ( 7 , 15 , and 30 days ) from both the groups were discarded due to procedural or processing errors .
the remaining sections were examined under research microscope and digital photomicrographs were obtained under 40 and 100 magnifications .
the photographs were evaluated using the histological evaluation criteria given by barbosa et al . [ table 1 ] . to avoid bias ,
the findings were reevaluated by two oral pathologists who were unaware of the study design .
the scoring thus obtained were tabulated [ table 2 ] and subjected to statistical analysis .
histological evaluation criteria used in the study the absolute values for inflammatory cell response , soft tissue organization , and dentin bridge formation
group i ( collagen ) : after 7 days interval , the specimens showed moderate diffuse chronic inflammatory cells and numerous blood vessels with extravasated red blood corpuscles ( rbcs ) and obliteration of ` odontoblastic layer was observed along the dentinal surface [ figure 1a ] . at 15 days , the pulp tissue was accompanied by large quantity of extravasated erythrocytes and a large number of newly formed blood vessels in all the samples [ figure 1b ] and severe inflammation within the pulp tissue was observed in two samples . at 30 days interval , there was disorganization of odontoblastic cell layer along the dentinal surface with no inflammatory cells in all the samples [ figure 1c ] and dentin bridge formation was observed in two of the specimens [ figure 1d ] .
( a ) group i ( collagen ) at 7 days interval showing moderate inflammation .
( b ) group i at 15 days interval showing extravasated erythrocytes and more number of newly formed blood vessels .
( c ) group i at 30 days interval showing no inflammation with odontoblastic layer disorganization .
( d ) group i at 30 days interval showing dentinal bridge formation group ii ( pulpotec ) : none of the specimens showed any signs of inflammation , [ figure 2a ] but there was a discontinuity in the odontoblastic layer lining along the dentin walls after 7 days [ figure 2b ] . at 14 days interval ,
pulp tissue showed moderate inflammation in two samples and a discontinuity in odontoblastic cell layer lining the dentinal walls was noted in all the samples .
, pulp tissue did not show any inflammatory changes and discontinuity in the odontoblastic layer lining the dentinal walls was observed in all the samples [ figure 2d ] .
( a ) group ii ( pulpotec ) at 7 days interval showing no inflammatory cells .
( d ) group ii at 30 days interval showing disorganized odontoblastic layer with no inflammatory cells the data was analyzed by descriptive statistics according to the features observed in each experimental group .
statistics have been done using unpaired t - test which showed no significant difference ( p < 0.05 ) for chosen parameters in the study .
in spite of wide array of materials and techniques , the gold standard material for pulpotomies of primary teeth till today is formocresol , due to its bacteriostatic and superior fixative property and a success rate of 70 - 90% . the international agency for research on cancer classified formaldehyde , one of the components of buckley 's formocresol as carcinogenic to humans .
concerns have been raised regarding its systemic absorption , increased prevalence of hypoplastic and/or hypomineralization defects and necrosis / sloughing of the tissue when it comes in contact with the gingiva .
recently the national institute for occupational safety and health in the united states and the organization for economic cooperation and development have stated that formaldehyde is not likely to be a potent carcinogen to humans when used under low exposure conditions .
therefore , pulpotec has been selected for this study as it contains formaldehyde at a very low concentration .
collagen that has a potent hemostatic property and the ability to aggregate platelets , that facilitates wound maturation by enhancing initial blood clot and fibrin linkage formation .
it is chemotactic for fibroblasts and improves their migration and attachment through its fibrillar structure .
this property may enhance cell migration into the space between collagen membrane and the pulp wound .
the above mentioned positive properties , collagen particles ( biofil-ab ) , impregnated with antibiotics like metronidazole and mupirocin has been selected for the study .
findings in the specimens treated with collagen particles is a perfect indication of strong vascularization , thus resulting in increased number of fibroblasts and a tendency of forming the granulation tissue .
these findings show the regenerative characteristics of collagen and are similar to the study conducted by marsan et al . , where collagen , bioresorbable membrane ( bio - gide ) was used as a pulp capping material in mongrel dogs . after 6 weeks
, the pulp tissue preserved its vitality with a better blood supply in the pulp and an increased number of blood vessels ; however , none of the tested samples showed reparatory bridge formation .
thus , the authors stated that collagen bioresorbable membranes showed preservation of the morphology of all histological structures . in the present study ,
moderate to severe inflammation is seen in the pulp architecture of samples treated with collagen which has been reduced subsequently .
postlewaithe and kang demonstrated that topically placed collagen can initiate wound healing by activating inflammatory cells and promoting increased vascularization of the healing tissue .
formation of dentin bridge with collagen can be considered as a sign of pulp healing .
the same findings were noticed when bimstein and shoshan used collagen as a direct pulp capping agent .
in 1-month period , the pulp of tested teeth remained vital and a thin , newly created dentinal bridge was found .
fuks et al . , found dentinal bridge formation in 73% of the tested monkey teeth which were subjected to vital amputation , and later treated with collagen solution .
conversely , studies conducted by rutherford et al . , tested the pulpal reaction to human osteogenic protein where collagen matrix was used as a carrier .
results showed that human osteogenic protein had good characteristics as a direct pulp capping material , but the collagen matrix itself did not initiate mineralization nor create the dentinal bridge .
it has been demonstrated that some kind of a stimulative chemical factor is necessary for the development of protective reaction of traumatized dental pulp , where mere contact with biocompatible nonstimulative matter is not sufficient . both bimstein and shoshan and fuks et al .
, used an enriched collagen solution which contained some vitamins , amino acids and other nutritive factors ; whereas study conducted by rutherford et al . , used only plain collagen .
thus , the secondary matters are more significant initiators of positive pulp reaction than the collagen itself .
hence , type i collagen particles ( fish origin ) , impregnated with metronidazole are effective against anaerobic infections , mainly gram positive bacteria and mupirocin shown to be quite effective against staphylococcus aureus can be considered as promising material for use in pulpotomy procedure , especially in the primary dentition . in group
ii , pulp tissue treated with pulpotec cement showed destruction of odontoblastic cell layer along the dentin walls and moderate inflammation limited to the coronal third of radicular pulp .
the reduced inflammation in pulpotec group may be attributed to the presence of corticosteroid , dexamethasone , which has a potent anti - inflammatory action .
the findings of this study are similar to the study conducted by khattab et al . , who evaluated the histological response of dental pulp to pulpotec cement in primary teeth at postoperative intervals of 1 , 7 , and 14 days .
moderate inflammation limiting to the coronal third of radicular pulp with congestion of the pulp vessels were noticed after 1-day interval .
after 7 days , there are areas of pulpal necrosis and 14 days later , increased area of pulpal necrosis with destruction of odontoblastic cell layer and chronic inflammatory cell infiltration was noticed .
histological evaluation following the usage of pulpotec cement for pulpotomy procedure by satygo revealed three zones next to the pulp - cement interface which is similar to formocresol . even though the histological findings are similar , usage of pulpotec cement is advisable when compared to formocresol because of the minimal concentration of formaldehyde as recent research about formaldehyde metabolism , pharmacokinetics , and carcinogenicity indicate that formaldehyde is probably not a potent human carcinogen under conditions of low exposure . the synergetic action of other ingredients in the pulpotec cement like dexamethasone , a potent synthetic member of the glucocorticoid class of steroid drugs has an anti - inflammatory and immunosuppressant property .
iodoform ; a pale yellow , crystalline , volatile substance used as a disinfectant makes it more patient friendly .
regeneration of pulp tissue is observed with collagen and devitalization of the pulp tissue with pulpotec in the present study .
based on the results of this histological study , both collagen and pulpotec cement showed promising results as a valuable material for use as pulpotomy material especially in primary dentition . to overcome the shortages of this study ; long - term clinical , radiological , and histological studies have to be carried out in large sample size with both infected and healthy pulp tissue to draw proper conclusions .
even though the use of collagen in different forms has been proven in the field of medicine and dentistry , its use as pulpal medicament is very limited .
the results of the present study may vary as the pulpal response was noticed after placing the medicaments on healthy pulp rather than compromised pulp tissue .
based on the outcome , it may be considered that collagen and pulpotec cement used for covering the radicular pulp remnant after pulpotomy were proven to be promising alternatives as a pulp medicament .
collagen , the biomaterial known for its excellent wound healing properties , increased vascularization , pulp healing capacity , and biocompatibility is found to be a better alternative to pulpotec cement . | pubmed |
Gregg, Robert - Robert S Gregg Law Office (Lawyers) is practicing law in Dallas, Texas. This lawyer is listed on Lawyer Map under the main category All Law Firms in Lawyers.
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Contact Gregg, Robert - Robert S Gregg Law Office to find out about hours of operation / office hours / business hours.
Listed business hours are general only. Call (214) 752-8308 to learn about office hours. | slim_pajama |
the crystal - melt interface ( cmi ) has a great relevance in materials science given that its properties have a strong influence in crystal nucleation and growth , as well as on wetting phenomena @xcite . despite its importance , the cmi is far less understood than the fluid - fluid interface because the former is difficult to probe with standard experimental techniques like x - ray diffraction @xcite .
for example , it is well known that the interfacial tension of liquid water at ambient conditions is 72 mn / m , whereas the reported values for the ice - water interfacial free energy at ambient pressure range from to 25 to 35 mn / m @xcite .
also the dynamics of the fluid - fluid interface is far better understood than that of the cmi @xcite .
understanding the dynamics of the cmi is of great interest given that it can provide valuable insight to the important process of crystal - growth @xcite .
the cmi interface is not flat , but rather exhibits relatively large undulations of the local interface position , or surface waves ( sw ) , as a result of thermal excitations ( see online movie @xcite ) . for length scales below the capillary length
, sw are mainly governed by the interfacial stiffness and are known under the name of capillary waves ( cw ) . the equilibrium and dynamic properties of cw at the fluid
fluid interface have a long history and were already studied by smoluchowski and kelvin @xcite . for the cmi ,
the study of the cw spectrum provides static properties , like the interfacial stiffness or the interfacial free energy @xcite . at smaller length scales and higher frequencies , the surface of elastic media exhibit thermal excitations known under the name of rayleigh waves @xcite .
these are small amplitude , high frequency perturbations that result from the elastic response of the solid .
rayleigh and cw serve as a benchmark for the study of other surface phenomena in more complex materials .
for example , polymer solutions and polymer gels , which are able to support both elastic and viscous response , exhibit a crossover from capillary to elastic sw @xcite .
the cmi also appears as an interesting system for the observation of sw .
the solid phase is elastic and could in principle exhibit rayleigh waves , while the fluid phase is viscous and could rather favour cw . unfortunately , despite the fair amount of theoretical research in the field , there seems to be no appropriate theoretical framework for the study of crystal - melt sw dynamics .
pleiner , harden and pincus extended the rayleigh theory in order to incorporate the viscoelastic response of polymeric materials , but did not consider polymers in contact with a viscous dense phase @xcite .
the theory was later extended to study a dense fluid on an elastic medium , but capillary forces were neglected @xcite . on the contrary ,
jeng et al extended the kelvin theory to study sw at the interface of two dense fluids , but did not incorporate the elastic response of the solid @xcite .
a suitable theoretical framework is in principle that of baus and tejero , who considered sw at the interface of two fluids baring simultaneously viscous and elastic response .
however , the final results were worked out only for the special case of a vapour - liquid interface where one of the phases has negligible viscosity @xcite . an alternative rather different approach to study interfacial fluctuations of the crystal - melt interface is employed in the field of crystal growth . the emphasis here is on the hydrodynamic equations of heat and mass transport , and energy dissipation is enforced by introducing gaussian random noise . in the limit of small temperature gradients ,
this formalism provides a diffusion equation for the interface height fluctuations , and hence a strongly damped interface dynamics @xcite .
computer simulations ( see e.g. ref . @xcite and references therein ) and experiments of colloidal systems @xcite have also been used to investigate the cmi .
both approaches allow for the visualization of the cmi at a single - particle scale . therefore , these techniques are highly suited to improve our understanding of the cmi .
many studies are devoted to obtain relevant static properties of the interface , such as the stiffness or the interfacial free energy , by means of an analysis of the spectrum of interface fluctuations ( e.g. @xcite ) . .
the study of dynamic properties of the cmi , by contrast , has not received that much attention .
the dynamics of the cmi has only been investigated by means of computer simulations for metal models @xcite and hard spheres @xcite , and experimentally for colloidal suspensions @xcite .
not only there are just a handful of works dealing with the dynamics of the cmi but the results are in some cases contradictory .
for instance , in simulation studies @xcite a quadratic dependency of the relaxation frequency with the wave vector is observed whereas the experimental work of ref .
@xcite claims that such dependency is instead linear . motivated by the importance of gaining a deeper understanding on the dynamics of the cmi we pursue in this paper a computer simulation study of the relaxation of sw for the cmi of three archetypal systems , namely hard spheres ( hs ) , lennard jones ( lj ) and water .
we show that the relaxation of crystal - melt sw is well described by a double exponential given that there are different processes , characterised by different time scales , involved in such relaxation . as the wavelength increases only one process , the relaxation of cw ,
is observed .
we also show that .
moreover , we compare the relaxation dynamics of sw for systems composed of molecules with ( water ) and without ( lj and hs ) orientational degrees of freedom . finally , following the methodology proposed in refs .
@xcite , we estimate the kinetic coefficient ( the proportionality constant between the speed of crystal growth and the supercooling ) from our measurements of the cw relaxation dynamics , and compare our results with independent measurements of such parameter .
we simulate a solid in equilibrium with its melt and characterize the dynamics of the sw . to do that we first generate an initial configuration , then simulate the system at coexistence and finally analyze the trajectories generated in our simulations .
below we give some details about this procedure .
the first step consists in creating an initial configuration .
snapshots of an initial configuration for lj and water are given in fig .
[ snapshot ] . in the snapshot corresponding to the lj system
we show the way we refer to the edges of the simulation box , @xmath0 and @xmath1 . by preparing systems as indicated in fig .
[ snapshot ] we study the dynamics of the cmi for the crystal face exposed in the @xmath2-@xmath3 plane and sw propagating along the @xmath2 direction .
this sort of box geometry has already been used in a number of simulation studies of the cmi ( see , e. g. , refs .
@xcite ) . to specify the crystal orientation we indicate in parenthesis the miller indexes of the interfacial plane ( @xmath4 ) , and in square brackets the miller indexes of the crystalline plane parallel to the direction of propagation and perpendicular to the interface ( @xmath5 ) . in table [ systems_size ] we summarize the orientation and the size of the systems investigated . .orientation and size of the systems investigated . [
cols="^,^,^,^",options="header " , ]
in this paper we present a computer simulation study of the crystal - melt interface for three different systems : hard spheres , lennard jones and the tip4p/2005 model of water .
we focus on the dynamics of surface waves .
first , we generate an initial configuration in which a crystal slab is surrounded by its melt .
the box geometry allows for the study of long wave - length capillary waves without having a prohibitively large number of molecules in the system ( see fig .
[ snapshot ] for an example ) .
then , we do molecular dynamics simulations in the @xmath6 ensemble at the melting temperature . the overall density of the system is comprised in between the coexistence densities of the fluid and the crystal phases , which guarantees that the system stays at coexistence throughout the @xmath6 simulation .
the area of the box side parallel to the interface is chosen in such way that the solid phase is free of any stress .
once we run the molecular dynamics simulations , we analyse the dynamic autocorrelation function of the surface waves modes ( eq . [ acf ] ) . to do that we first obtain a function that describes the profile of the interface , which we do by identifying the outermost crystalline particles of the solid slab .
we carefully checked that our conclusions are not affected by the choice of the parameters needed to locate the interface ( fig .
[ locate_interface ] ) or by the geometry of the box or the system size ( fig .
[ tamano ] ) .
we examine in detail the shape of the dynamic autocorrelation function as a function of the wave vector @xmath7 , and conclude that a double exponential function describes the relaxation dynamics of crystal - melt surface waves much more accurately than a single exponential ( fig .
[ ajustes ] ( a ) ) .
this implies that there are two distinct time scales , fast and slow , involved in the relaxation of crystal - melt surface waves .
the slow time scale is due to the recrystallization - melting occurring at the interface , and is governed by capillary forces .
the fast relaxation is due to a combination of processes that readily alter the shape of the interface .
we speculate these may be related to rayleigh waves , subdiffusion of the fluid and the attachment / detachment of particles to / from the crystal phase . as the length scale of the capillary wave modes increases ( or @xmath7 decreases )
the relaxation becomes increasingly dominated by the slow process and can be just described by a single exponential . within the uncertainty of our data
, we see that the characteristic time for the slow relaxation process is related to @xmath7 by the power law : @xmath8 for all systems .
this power law was predicted theoretically in ref .
@xcite and checked in simulations of metallic systems @xcite and hard spheres @xcite , although the existence of a single relaxation process was assumed in these works .
our results for hard spheres are clearly at odds with claims of a linear overdamped regime observed in the crystal melt interface of colloids @xcite . in addition to molecular dynamics simulations , we also perform monte carlo simulations for the hard sphere system .
monte carlo and molecular dynamics simulations yield virtually identical autocorrelation functions if compared in diffusive time units ( fig .
[ correl - mc_vs_md ] ) . .
moreover , we compare the relaxation dynamics of different systems in diffusive time units .
we see that the crystal - melt interface of water relaxes about ten times slower than that of hard spheres or lennard jones .
we ascribe this difference to the presence of orientational degrees of freedom in the water molecules . following the methodology proposed in refs .
@xcite we obtain estimates of the kinetic coefficient ( the proportionality constant between the rate of crystal growth and the supercooling ) for all the three systems investigated .
we find a good agreement with the results of ref .
@xcite for hard spheres ( fig .
[ compamini ] ( a ) ) . in our reduced units
we can compare the kinetic coefficient for lennard jones with that of water .
we show that a lennard jones crystal grows roughly ten times faster than a water crystal for the same degree of supercooling . from the kinetic coefficient
we estimate the rate of crystal growth for ice at moderate supercooling . we compare it with recent calculations of such quantity obtained by a completely different approach @xcite and get a quite good agreement ( fig .
[ growthrate ] ) .
however , the linear dependence of the rate of crystal growth with the supercooling is restricted to fairly small supercooling .
we also compare our results for the rate of ice growth with experimental measurements @xcite and show that the employed water model predicts significantly faster rates than those seen in the experiments ( fig .
[ growthrate ] ) .
* acknowledgements * + we would like to thank useful discussions with r. p. sear , r. e. rozas , j. horbach , a. mijailovic , e. romero enrique , , and f. monroy .
e. sanz and j. benet acknowledge financial support from the eu grant 322326-cosaac - fp7-people-2012-cig and from a spanish grant ramon y cajal .
l.g . macdowell and j. benet also acknowledge financial support from project fis2010 - 22047-c05 - 05 ( ministerio de economia y competitividad ) .
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see supplementary material document no.xxx for a molecular dynamics trajectory for the ( prismi)[basal ] crystal melt interface with the tip4p/2005 model .
capillary waves can be seen propagating along the prismatic i plane of ice ih and parallel to the basal plane .
, , 205 ( 1908 ) . and e. m. lifshitz , , revert , barcelona , 1991 . , m. asta , and a. karma , , 5530 ( 2001 ) . and e. r. weeks , , 15198 ( 2009 ) . and e. m. lifshitz , , revert , barcelona , 1969 .
, m. w. kim , h. schaffer , and h. z. cummins , , 9317 ( 1991 ) . and
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d. r. nelson , and m. ronchetti , , 784 ( 1983 ) .
to distinguish between solid and liquid - like particles for the lj and water systems we calculate for each particle a local bond order parameter , @xmath9 , proposed by lechner and dellago @xcite .
if @xmath9 exceeds a certain threshold particle @xmath10 is considered to be solid - like .
the expression for @xmath9 reads : @xmath11 where @xmath12 and @xmath13 here @xmath14 includes particle @xmath10 plus all its @xmath15 neighbours , and @xmath16 are @xmath17 order spherical harmonics .
the neighbors are identified over a cut - off distance of 3.5 for water and 1.4 @xmath18 for lj . in order to determine the best choice for the order parameters we calculated the values of two order parameters , namely @xmath19 and @xmath20 , for both the bulk solid and the bulk fluid phases at coexistence .
we discuss here the case of water . as it can be seen in fig .
[ q6q4 ] @xmath20 allows for a better separation between the solids ( hexagonal and cubic ice ) and the fluid phase in water .
next , to choose the @xmath20 threshold ( @xmath21 ) that best separates the liquid from the solids , we count the percentage of mislabelled molecules in each phase for several choices of @xmath21 . whenever a liquid particle has a @xmath22 value larger than @xmath21 , it will be mislabelled as solid - like . likewise ,
if a solid - like particle happens to have a @xmath22 smaller than @xmath21 , it will be mislabelled as liquid - like . in fig .
[ fraction - mislabelled ] we plot the percentage of mislabelled molecules as a function of @xmath21 . at @xmath23
the liquid and ice - ih curves cross at a mislabeling percentage of 0.82 .
we choose that value as the threshold to discriminate between liquid - like and solid - like molecules .
the threshold is indicated with a horizontal dashed line in fig .
[ q6q4 ] . at @xmath23
the percentage of mislabelled ice - ic molecules is as low as 0.26 .
this means that ice - ic molecules would be detected as solid - like , should they appear when the interface recrytallizes .
once molecules are labelled either as solid or as liquid - like , the largest solid cluster is found using a clustering algorithm with a cut - off of 3.5 to find neighbors belonging to the same cluster . for the lj system we used a @xmath21 value of 0.294 and a cut - off to build the biggest cluster of 1.4@xmath18 . for the hs system we employed an order parameter based on @xmath24 as described in ref .
@xcite to distinguish between solid - like and liquid - like particles . .
liquid water ( green triangles ) , ice ih ( red squares ) and ice ic ( black circles ) . ]
when fitting the time autocorrelation functions to a double exponential function ( eq . [ de ] ) it is convenient to have a good initial guess for the fitting parameters to avoid convergence to non - physical results . in order to obtain a good guess for the relaxation time of the slow process , @xmath25 , we plot @xmath26 vs @xmath27 ( see fig . [ derivadas ] ) .
note that for long enough times one can approximate eq .
[ de ] by : @xmath28 taking into account that @xmath29 .
if we now take the logarithm of eq .
[ aprox_1exp ] and differenciate with respect to @xmath27 we obtain : @xmath30 therefore , from the intercept of the horizontal region of the plots shown in fig .
[ derivadas ] we can get an estimate of @xmath25 . recall that the higher the @xmath7 the more influenced is the relaxation of the interface by the fast process ( see fig .
[ coefa0 ] ) . hence , as expected , the horizontal region in fig .
[ derivadas ] becomes less evident as @xmath7 increases .
nevertheless , it is enough for our purpose of getting an initial estimate for the fitting parameter @xmath25 .
given that for small @xmath7s the preexponential factor @xmath31 is close to 1 , we use @xmath32 as an initial guess to fit the autocorrelation function corresponding to the smallest @xmath7 .
regarding @xmath33 , we set an initial value two orders of magnitude smaller than @xmath25 .
we use the resulting parameters @xmath31 and @xmath33 of the fit to the smallest @xmath7 as an input for the following @xmath7 .
for @xmath25 we use the value estimated from fig .
[ derivadas ] as explained above .
we repeat this process until we obtain a fit for each and every @xmath7 .
vs @xmath27 for three different systems : ( 100)[001 ] hs md ( a ) , ( 100)[001 ] lj ( b ) and ( pi)[basal ] tip4p/2005 water . from top
to bottom in a given plot wavevectors with values of @xmath34 with @xmath35 are shown.,title="fig:",scaledwidth=35.0%](a ) vs @xmath27 for three different systems : ( 100)[001 ] hs md ( a ) , ( 100)[001 ] lj ( b ) and ( pi)[basal ] tip4p/2005 water . from top to bottom in a given plot wavevectors with values of @xmath34 with @xmath35 are shown.,title="fig:",scaledwidth=35.0%](b ) vs @xmath27 for three different systems : ( 100)[001 ] hs md ( a ) , ( 100)[001 ] lj ( b ) and ( pi)[basal ] tip4p/2005 water . from top to bottom in a given plot wavevectors with values of @xmath34 with @xmath35 are shown.,title="fig:",scaledwidth=35.0%](c ) +
in fig.[fig - nvt - nve ] we compare the autocorrelation functions calculated in many short @xmath36 simulations starting from independent configurations with those obtained in a single , long @xmath6 simulation .
@xmath36 simulations are short enough to guarantee energy conservation and , at the same time , long enough to allow for the relaxation of the studied capillary waves modes
. clearly , @xmath36 and @xmath6 give the same results ( @xmath36 curves are more noisy because the statistics is not as good ) . | arxiv |
Fairy Tail Midnight Solace
**Dedicated to: ismichi**
**Happy 23rd birthday~**
* * *
[ - ]
**Midnight Solace**
[ - ]
Her lungs burned as her legs threatened to give out but her mind refused to let them slow her. Her mind was the strongest part of her. Levy rounded a corner on the sidewalk; she knew this town the best. She knew all the best hiding spots as a child, she knew where to find what books, what place had the best smoothies but most of all: Levy knew the best spot to be alone.
* * *
An obnoxious ringing cut through the peaceful lull of his drowsiness; turning over onto his stomach, Gajeel reached for the source of the noise. With his dad out of town for a conference, he opted for leaving their house phone within reach in case anyone was looking for his dad.
" 'ello..." His gruff voice, laced heavily with sleep, greeted the other person on the line.
"Gajeel?" At the sound of Levy's mother voice coming through the speaker, the raven instantly felt all drowsiness leave him as he fumbled around so he was sitting at the edge of his bed.
"Yes," He reached over to flick his bedside lamp on as the woman continued on through sobs: "Have you seen Levy recently? She ran off earlier tonight and she normally returns within two hours at most... Is she with you?"
"I haven't seen her since school let out... but if you give me a moment, I'll run out and find her..." He offered calmly to her but as he hung up, his chest felt heavy and he jumped to his feet.
Slipping a pair of pants on, he opted for sliding on his coat over top his black muscle shirt before running out the door; the cold winter air met him angrily, chilling him to the bone. Locking the front door, Gajeel sprinted down the streets for the places that meant the most to the bookworm. With his body busy with running, his mind wandered...
_...the alleyway where we first met. That was the day he had threatened her and the two guys with her, his lackeys leering from behind him as the victimized trio drew closer to one another. The boys doing their best to shield their smaller companion from the delinquents. That day was also the day that Levy's two friends were left battered and bruised, mostly by Gajeel, while Levy was beaten nursing an aching pain his stomach - thanks to the only female delinquent in his group._
_...their middle school track field where he defended her. That day the petite bookworm had been running around the track for their usual warm-up when she and a few of her friends had been stopped by Laxus. He had taken it upon himself to bully many of the weaker students despite his grandfather being the principal of the school. Gajeel was coming back around when he noticed that people making the last turn were glancing back, following the track he came to a stop behind a sobbing Levy. In front of her was Laxus tormenting one of the guys that was often around the petite girl; stepping in between the lanky carrot-topped guy, who immediately slouched against the wooden wall, and Laxus whose attention drifted onto him with a smirk. The punches and kicks he received while denying the angry blonde a fight had been worth it._
_...the smoothie place that Levy dragged him a week later. Despite his scary nature, she refused to take 'no' as an answer and he could feel his former self breaking. That day she had given him a headband as a 'thank you' before muttering that it was a stupid gift but that felt on deaf ears as Gajeel not only accepted it but had put it on. With his raven hair pushed up and out of his face, he felt different. Lighter._
_...the bookstore that six months later she dragged him to for a closing sale. That day she had pleaded for him to carry all the books she was looking to get; somewhere in the six months since the day at Levy's favorite smoothie place, the duo had developed a friendship different than anything she had with anyone else. And for him, it was a friendship that he never had before. They argued, fought, laughed and shared a smoothie since she had spent almost all of her money on books._
His lungs burned slightly as he turned a corner on the sidewalk; he had been running for a couple hours, taking short pauses every time he reached one of the possible places the bookworm could be to look around for any evidence Levy had been there. Gajeel was running out of places before something caught his eye, slowing to an almost stop. He remembered one last place; turning on his heels he ran back the way he came and didn't stop until he came to a stop, bending over to catch his breath, in front of a park.
_...the park where a week ago, he brought up something that had been bothering him for the past month. That day Gajeel finally grew weary of how the petite girl had seemed jumpy and feverish but always denied feeling sick. The sun was setting when Levy finally opened her mouth, only to say 'its nothing' with a smile that seemed broken. The raven didn't press the issue but later when he was seeing her off, he left her with one last comment: "Whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me about it..." that he regretted saying moments later._
"Oi Shrimp!" He called out as he entered the park, "You in here?"
Walking along the lit path, he continued calling out for her until he saw her -sitting on a swing with her back to him. He ran over, despite the fatigue and grabbed her by the back of her collar on her coat. The act had she glancing back before her eyes widened in surprise upon seeing the inky black eyes staring down at her; "G-Gajeel...?" His name fell from her mouth before her face scrunched up as tears broke from her eyes.
Releasing his hold was all it took before Levy raced over and sobbed into his coat, his hand raised to pat the top of her blue hair comfortingly. The raven was glad it was so late, he really **did not** want anyone else seeing him like this.
"So why did you run off like that?" He asked in a low voice.
Sniffling Levy pulled herself far enough away so anything she said wasn't muffled: "I had a fight with my mom..." She mumbled in defeat before leaning back into his coat.
His shoulders visibly relaxed as his hand fell onto her shoulder, "Wanna talk about it?" after saying such a cliche thing he was sure she was going to laugh at him later.
Her body seemed to tense for a moment before relaxing with a soft sigh as Levy wiped her eyes with her hands: "I don't think I'm ready to think about it again..." She shook her head, earning another comforting pat on the head that helped a new set of tears break past her defenses. The argument floated to the forefront of her mind and the petite bookworm did her best to wipe away the new tears.
The expression on her face was still so broken -like one wrong step would completely break her- but before Gajeel could try and mend it, an annoying ringtone broke the atmosphere between them.
"Ah, its Lucy..." Answering her phone, the raven saw as the petite bookworm did her utmost to sound herself as she spoke to her best friend; if it wasn't for showing up minutes before, Gajeel was sure he would have believed her act. He stayed silent, taking a seat on one of the swings, as he waited until she was off the phone to pick up their conversation again.
Taking the swing beside him, "See you tomorrow at school then, Lucy~" Levy laughed before hanging up, her previous state of mind melting back onto her face instantly.
"I know it seems like a lot right now," brown eyes met black as he continued, "but you're not the first kid to fight with their parents over something. And you sure won't be the last-Not that I'm saying whatever the fight was between you and your mom was stupid. O-or a-anything..." Gajeel's voice trailed off awkwardly, allowing the distant noise of the city fill the void.
Levy watched in slight awe as he lowered his face until it was hidden in the shadows; Gajeel had never in all the time she's known him spoken like this - it was usually just playful (but arrogantly stubborn) banter or friendly insults coming out his mouth. Blinking away, she stared down at the ground trying to think of some way to fill the silence but came up empty.
"If you don't want to tell me," his voice made her eyes widen and the pause that followed drew her gaze back on him, "that's fine..." He sighed, lifting his head as he reached up to rub the back of his head. Again he paused and once more Levy had no idea how to fill the silence. Inky black eyes darted over to her before quickly darted away: "I used to fight with my dad all the time..."
"...used to?" The question stumbled out before she had a chance to stop it and before she could brush aside her own question, Gajeel answered.
Rubbing the back of his neck again, "Y-Yeah... back when... I was a delinquent," the last word left a heavy atmosphere between them but crumbled slightly as Gajeel coughed, "We used to... fight... argue... you name it... he would always say... he was disappointed in me," chuckling in hopes to lighten the mood, "Can you blame him?"
"...so what happened?" Again her question slipped out and once again he responded.
"uh..." his hand reaching up to pull his coat closer towards his face, "I uh... cleaned up my act... about seven months ago..."
Levy could feel some warmth flooding her face as the meaning behind his words clicked in her mind; roughly seven months ago, he had stepped in when Laxus was bullying two of her best friends. That day she had seen the person behind the scary demeanor and curiosity had bloomed, watching the delinquent take hit after hit. The next day she had demanded to thank him even if, as she voiced, he didn't really deserve it - when he actually followed behind her to her favorite smoothie shop, the curiosity had sparked once again. After six months, her curiosity had developed a more affectionate side.
After what felt like an eternity of stillness, Gajeel stood up: "How about we get you home? Or some place warm?" He suggested, stepping away from the swings but before he could get far something tugged on his coat. More accurately, _someone _tugged on his coat.
Levy, still holding onto his coat, stood from her spot; it was now or never: "we fought about college... she wants me to pursue something concrete,"
"And what do you want to do?"
"I don't know..." She waited for him to speak but when he didn't she chanced a glance up at him; Gajeel seemed in deep thought, which did not suit him, and the sight of it made Levy smile: "So are you going to walk me home or not?"
She waited for his reaction that was sure to come; as if on cue, the raven turned to her and without missing a beat responded: "Depends, are you gonna walk or am I gonna have to carry you like a rag doll?" His eyes narrowed with annoyance.
Releasing her hold, Levy walked away with a confident stride earning a more rowdy expression of annoyance from her companion; the duo walked side-by-side, letting their banter entertain them until they had reached Levy's house. Turning around with her back to the front door, Levy's features softened: "Thanks for telling me about the fights with your dad,"
"Oh... uh... j-just don't... tell anyone" He muttered, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.
"I won't"
"See you tomorrow then" With a short wave, Gajeel began his way back home.
"Ah, wait!" The moment he turned back towards her, Levy swore time stopped just long enough for her previous courage to come back: "Thank you for finding me and tomorrow," pausing for just a moment, "meet me at Strauss' Diner after school" Without waiting for an answer, she slipped inside and shut the door behind her. A bubble of excitement and nerves filled her stomach but that was put on pause when she saw her mom appear from the other end of the hall.
* * *
**Csilla: I can't believe I wrote something for another Fairy Tail couple that DID NOT involve any Gratsu ;w; (it was really hard but that's okay because its for someone who has actually seen me grow as a writer &she's my best friend)**
**I hope this was fluffy and counts as a "happy" Gajevy oneshot...**
**&I hope Gajeel is ACTUALLY in character because I've only used him twice (I think) in my fics - i****f not, well... I tried xD**
**&&please no one expect more... I might do another if Michi still ship them next year (or someone makes a REALLY interesting oneshot idea)**
End file.
| fanfiction |
Q: MYSQL - datetime, group by, correct query
UPDATE
I found this query :
SELECT CONCAT(DATE(gid), ' / ', HOUR(gdate), ':00:00 to ', CONCAT(HOUR(gdate), ':59:59')) as slice,
COUNT(*)
FROM t_table
GROUP BY
DATE(gdate),
HOUR(gdate);
It doesnt output a ZERO when there is no data for a period of 8 hours or for a day. Is there a way ?
I have a table which has 3 fields :
*
*gid (int)
*gdate (datetime)
*ginfo (text)
I want to find the correct query that would ouput the number of items (field ginfo) for every 8 hours every day between two dates. I am not sure if it's clear so I can try to schematize it :
The first date is : 2013/10/01. The second date is :
2013/10/03. For the first day the PHP output would be for
example: 2013/10/01 00:00-07h59 : 8 2013/10/01 08:00-15h59 :
5 2013/10/01 16:00-23h59 : 7 For the second day the PHP output
would be for example : 2013/10/01 00:00-07h59 : 2 2013/10/01
08:00-15h59 : 3 2013/10/01 16:00-23h59 : 1 etc.
In the table, there are 20 items for 2013/10/01.
In the table, there are 6 items for 2013/10/02.
I can't find the correct query.
Can anyone help me ?
Excuse my poor english.
A: you can use like this :
SELECT COUNT(gid) FROM [table_name] WHERE (gdate>=2013/10/01 00:00) and (gdate<=2013/10/01 07:00)
UNION ALL
SELECT COUNT(gid) FROM [table_name] WHERE (gdate>=2013/10/07 00:00) and (gdate<=2013/10/01 16:00)
UNION ALL
... bla bla with your conditions
i think the format date is not correct you can looking for format date.
A: Try like this.
SELECT COUNT(ginfo)
FROM 'TABLE_NAME'
WHERE gdate BETWEEN 'from_date' AND 'to_date'
GROUP BY (date(gdate) + INTERVAL 8 HOUR)
A: You can try something like this
SELECT ROUND(UNIX_TIMESTAMP(`gdate`)/(480 * 60)) AS timekey,count(*),`gdate`
FROM your_table
WHERE gdate BETWEEN '2013-10-01' AND '2013-10-03'
GROUP BY timekey
You can refer following for detailed answer
GROUP BY interval overlapping timestamp MySQL query
Group mysql query by 15 min intervals
| slim_pajama |
In a landscape of economic and cultural inequity, the very effort to claim a place as one's home becomes subversive activity.
Homing Project is sponsored by Intersection for the Arts.
Intersection for the Arts provides Bay Area based artists and arts organizations with resources, community and cultural space in order to develop sustainable practices. | slim_pajama |
Buffy X-overs I'm not Your Girl
_A/N: This was written as an answer to Candle's song fic challenge. The song is from Reba McEntire's c.d., So Good Together. I can't lie…this isn't the third song on it but the third song was one that made no sense to me._
_I don't own the WWE, Kevin Nash, or the Scoobies. I don't own the song either._
**Felt so right for awhile, almost really believed**
**I could stay here forever, my heart could be free**
**Oh I wish it were that easy but it's never been for me**
She knew it wasn't to be. She'd always known that. That didn't stop her from wishing, from hoping. She only wanted to find a place to belong but she knew that that wasn't going to happen.
The company felt like home. She Slayed at night, always being careful so that that he wouldn't notice. No one in the company had. It was ironic, really. She was careful but she would still have to leave.
Her heart was beginning to feel like it was safe, but it was time to move on. The more time she spent here, the harder he'd take it.
**I'm not your girl**
**Feels so warm and so safe here, now don't get me wrong**
**But it's selfish to stay here; I'd be leading you on**
**Maybe someone else can give you what you really really want**
**But I'm not your girl**
Buffy ducked her head. The song said it best. A Slayer had no business with the heart of Big Papa Wolf. Kevin Nash would forget her. He would move on, grow older.
She'd talked to Giles just that evening. The End was coming. She had to be there, or else.
**They say people change**
**I wish it were true**
**It's something I've tried so hard to do**
**Now I can't explain why right seems so wrong**
**And I keep hearing the same old song**
**I'm not your girl**
**I'm not your girl**
Oh, she could explain it. Her kind didn't live to see 18, as a rule. She'd made it to twenty-one. According to the newest prophecy, the twice-lived Slayer would die the day she gave birth. If she were cruel, she would kill the children now. Abort them, and all would be fine.
But she couldn't do that. Whoever had written that prophecy had known that fact. And they had to have known what she was giving up.
She was unwed and pregnant. She could only hope that she would live long enough to have them. They would grow up with their father; they simply had to.
She would be the first Slayer to give birth in multiple millennia.
**See I've been here before, left a good thing behind**
**Can't see where I'm going, maybe love's really blind**
**And I'm so afraid to lose the one who was so hard to find**
**But I'm not your girl**
**They say people change**
**I wish it were true**
**It's something I've tried so hard to do**
"Willow, promise me that you won't tell him what my destiny was."
The redhead knew how much those words took out of her. But she knew that Buffy wouldn't be ready to face the threat to her children until she promised. "I promise, Buffy. Sleep now. Your children need the rest." She did too. Willow had thought that Buffy had been bad about having to die when facing the Master, but, apparently, she was even worse this time around.
**Now I can't explain why right seems so wrong**
**And I keep hearing the same old song**
**I'm not your girl**
**I'm not your girl**
**One day I'll come back here, and I'll knock on your door**
**She'll be sweet when she answers, and I'll know for sure**
Kevin couldn't believe it. She'd left. Told him to move on. Told him to marry someone else. Why didn't she understand that she was the only one for him? What was he supposed to do without her?
**That life is never easy in my complicated world**
She left the tiny babes with Giles. She'd always known that she wouldn't grow old. She'd never be married. But now she knew that she wouldn't be there to watch her son and daughter grow.
She'd miss the twins' birthdays and she wouldn't get the chance to tell Kevin the truth.
Somehow, that was the thing that she was the most upset about. She'd never get to tell him that she loved him.
The letter she'd left for him had told him to forget about her. Giles had the one that told her real feelings but she'd given him strict orders to burn it.
Her head held high, she walked into the cave where she had once battled the Master.
**I'm not your girl...**
He knelt by her grave, tears blurring his vision. She was younger than he'd thought she was. Only twenty-one. He still didn't know much about her, but he did know a couple of things.
She'd been every dream he'd ever had, all wrapped up into one.
He would never be able to forget her and move on. No matter what that final letter had said, he had loved her. And maybe he was being foolish, but he'd really thought that she loved him too.
A redhead that he'd noticed at the funeral came up to him. "I'm Willow. Buffy made us all promise two things but we agreed that some promises were meant to be broken."
He was mystified by then. "Huh?"
She smiled. It was a watery smile, but it was there. "She loved you so much. But she knew that she would die young; it was her destiny to die young. But it was also her destiny to love you."
He gaped at her.
"And it was her destiny to fight her first love on the day she had your children." Willow figured that he didn't need to know all of it. "Meet Kendra Elizabeth Nash and Jesse Giles Nash."
"Hi there, little ones. I'm your daddy."
And inside of Heaven's gate, a Jamaican girl comforted a tiny blonde woman. She had known that that she wouldn't get the chance to become his girl, but it still broke her heart.
REVIEW! REVIEW!
REVIEW! REVIEW!
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| fanfiction |
Did this Woman Really Discover What 'the Universe is Made of'?
We look deeply at viral claims about Cecilia Payne, one of the most influential and overlooked female astronomers in the history of science.
Alex Kasprak
Updated 27 August 2019
Image via Smithsonian Institution Archives
A Facebook post, first published in September 2018 and reshared virally in July 2019, discussed the career of Harvard astronomer Cecilia Payne and her contribution to our modern understanding of the universe:
Cecilia Payne (who went by Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin most of her life) was instrumental in discovering the ubiquity of hydrogen in our universe, and the data she derived for her 1925 dissertation are likely the most significant contributions to our modern understanding of the true composition of stars. Despite this, she was, at the time, encouraged to downplay her paradigm-challenging results at the behest of men who would later verify them as accurate. That said, the viral post takes a few liberties. This article provides historical and scientific context about Payne-Gaposchkin, and then addresses each specific statement in the post.
Scientific Context
In the early 1920s, the prevailing view about the composition of stars was that they were essentially composed of the same elements existing on Earth, just many times hotter. One of the more prominent supporters of this view at the time was Princeton astronomy Professor Henry Norris Russell. Russell would later write a paper rejecting his earlier views on the topic, supporting the now-accepted conclusion that stars were primarily made of hydrogen.
Payne-Gaposchkin, while working at the influential Harvard College Observatory, wrote a 1925 doctoral dissertation on the composition of stellar atmospheres. During the course of this work, some of her data challenged the prevailing view about the composition of stars, suggesting they contained orders of magnitude more hydrogen (and to a lesser extent helium) than any other elements. Russell, who served as one of her outside thesis mentors, suggested that her result stemmed from a problem with the physical theory she had employed and could not actually indicate the massive level of hydrogen and helium in stars her data implied. As described by Smithsonian Space Historian David Devorkin:
We know that her initial findings showed that hydrogen and helium were orders of magnitude more abundant in stellar atmospheres than the rest of the elements she examined. When Russell found this conclusion in her draft, he figured that something was amiss with the theory.
In fact, Russell's own graduate student, Donald Menzel, had already found similar evidence of anomalously high levels of hydrogen in stars. Russell had rejected those findings as well, but described Payne-Gaposchkin's work as displaying a "very much more serious discrepancy." The result of this criticism, as described in a review of her autobiography in Science magazine, was that she significantly downplayed immensely important results:
The emerging view of the atom and the uncertain chemical origins of Earth, Sun, and stars were united in one thesis, in which Payne-Gaposchkin brilliantly demonstrated that all stars had nearly constant compositions. In addition, she found that stellar atmospheres showed enormously larger amounts of hydrogen and helium compared with abundances found in meteorites. Her superiors held a conservative view, however, and she wrote in her thesis that "the enormous abundance derived … is almost certainly not real," thus bowing to authority and doubting her own remarkable results.
Later, after Payne-Goposchkin had moved on to other astronomical topics, Russell would confirm her then-disputed findings. Though he cited Payne-Gaposchkin's work in that paper, much of the popular credit for that discovery at the time went to him and other male scientists. The conclusions that all stars are primarily composed of hydrogen allowed scientists to determine that hydrogen is the most abundant element in the universe, as alluded to in the viral post.
Payne-Gaposchkin, born in the U.K. in 1900, began attending Cambridge University on a scholarship in 1919 and completed coursework in physics and chemistry among other subjects. Because Cambridge University did not provide equal standing to women until 1948, she received no degree. Instead, astronomer Leslie Comrie suggested to her that the United States would have more opportunities for her in the field of astronomy. Comrie introduced her to Harlow Shapley, then the director of the Harvard College Observatory, after a talk he gave in a lecture at Cambridge University. He agreed to hire her, and she moved to the other Cambridge on a fellowship.
The Harvard College Observatory was "a major force in the advancement of astronomy" in the early 20th century, and the facility played a major role in the early classification and cataloging of the major stars in our galaxy. It contained, at the time, the world's largest collection of stellar spectrographic plates — the product of an early form of observational astronomy that imaged and mapped stars on chemically coated glass plates. Though they had been denied any actual titles or academic posts, women had, since the turn of the century, already played a major role in this effort. They served as "human computers," crunching and meticulously cataloging data.
Payne originally went to Harvard with the intent of working with these plates to determine a relationship between a star's temperature and the spectrum of light it released. Ultimately convinced by Shapley to pursue a dissertation based on her work, she became interested in what these plates might tell scientists about the relative abundance of elements in stars.
Because Harvard did not give Ph.D.'s to women, she received the first-ever astronomy doctorate from Radcliffe College, Harvard's sister institution that is now part of Harvard University. She was the first person of any gender to receive an astronomy doctorate through the Harvard College Observatory, and her Ph.D. — awarded in 1925 — predates the formation of the Harvard Astronomy Department, which was founded in 1931. Her thesis became the first monograph published by the Observatory.
Devorkin, the Smithsonian historian, argues that political factors in academia, exacerbated by 1920s-era gender roles, could have led her to downplay her most significant results in that work. Unable to gain an academic post, she would be reliant on the same men who reviewed her work for future employment in the field:
The published form of her abundance discussion [in her dissertation] highlights not the discordances, but the striking similarity between celestial abundances and the relative abundances of the elements in the Earth's crust. Indeed, she seemed to belabor this conclusion, drawing heavily upon the arguments Russell made in his brief study in 1914.
This was a brilliant political tactic, given Russell's power. Cecilia Payne hedged her bets: unable to clearly state her findings as forcibly as she knew how, she decided to give Russell the credit for an old qualitative abundance picture she figured could well be thoroughly altered in time. […] If the problem was due to theory, then she was well advised to acquiesce. But if her abundances were right, then she would be ultimately vindicated. This explains why, in both her National Academy paper on abundances and her eventual thesis, she persisted in displaying her results for hydrogen and helium, both in tabular listings and discussion.
That vindication came when Russell, the Princeton astronomer, published his 1929 paper verifying her results. "Payne watched as Russell and others continually faced and tried to rationalize the hydrogen anomaly," Devorkin wrote. "Her work was certainly not forgotten by Russell, who in 1929 finally accepted her conclusions and published a long paper in the Astrophysical Journal that laid out, in ways ApJ readers would accept, all the arguments that led to the still radical conclusion." In that paper, Russell does credit Payne-Gaposchkin:
The most important previous determination of the abundance of the elements by astrophysical means is that by Miss Payne, who determined, by Milne's method of marginal appearances, the relative abundance of eighteen of the most important elements.
In 1976, three years before her death, she would receive the prestigious (if not, in this case, ironically named) Henry Norris Russell Lectureship, which is awarded each year by the American Astronomical Society "on the basis of a lifetime of eminence in astronomical research."
Individual Meme Claims
"Since her death in 1979, the [Cecili Payne-Gaposchkin] has not so much as received a memorial plaque. Her newspaper obituaries do not mention her greatest discovery."
Though Payne-Gaposchkin's contributions to the field of astronomy have historically been overlooked, she has received at least one physical memorial. In 2002, as reported by the Harvard Crimson, her portrait was added to the Faculty Room in Harvard's University Hall — an honor that also spoke to the discrimination women in academia have historically faced. At the time of the Crimson's reporting, "Only two of 49 portraits hanging in the room [were] of women."
With regard to her obituary, it is accurate to say it did not mention her contribution to our understanding of the abundance of hydrogen in the universe. Here is how the New York Daily News reported her death on Dec. 9, 1979:
"Cecilia Payne's mother refused to spend money on her college education, so she won a scholarship to Cambridge."
This claim is partially true. Payne's mother had supported her daughter's education and scientific ambitions throughout her early life, but she did not have the money to pay the tuition to send her on her own. As she wrote in her autobiography, Payne-Gaposchkin "won the only scholarship large enough to pay my expenses."
"Cecilia Payne completed her studies, but Cambridge wouldn't give her a degree because she was a woman, so she said to heck with that and moved to the United States to work at Harvard."
Essentially true. Payne-Gaposchkin entered Cambridge with a desire to study botany but became fascinated with astronomy after attending a lecture by astronomer Sir Arthur Eddington about his famous expedition confirming Einstein's theory of general relativity. As a result, she took as much math and physics as possible for a woman at Cambridge University at the time, corresponded with and impressed Harvard College Observatory director Harlow Shapley, and won a fellowship to begin work there in 1923.
"Cecilia Payne was the first person ever to earn a Ph.D. in astronomy from Radcliffe College with what Otto Strauve called "the most brilliant Ph.D. thesis ever written in astronomy."
This is true and also undersells her achievements. She was also the first person to get a doctoral degree through the Harvard College Observatory, and her thesis was the first item published as a monograph by that institution. In 1929, noted astronomer Strauve did indeed write that her thesis was "the most brilliant Ph.D. thesis ever written in astronomy."
"Cecilia Payne is the reason we know basically anything about variable stars (stars whose brightness as seen from earth fluctuates). Literally every other study on variable stars is based on her work."
Though her work on stellar atmospheres served as the focus of her doctoral research, variable stars became a primary research focus of her career. She wrote multiple well-reviewed books on the topic, and her (and her students') "analyses of variable stars laid the basis for all subsequent work on them and their use as indicators of galactic structure."
"Not only did Cecilia Payne discover what the universe is made of, she also discovered what the sun is made of (Henry Norris Russell, a fellow astronomer, is usually given credit for discovering that the sun's composition is different from the Earth's, but he came to his conclusions four years later than Payne — after telling her not to publish)."
The "discovery" of what the universe is made of came from the discovery that stars — all of them, including our own Sun — have orders of magnitude more hydrogen than anything else. This is what Payne-Gaposchkin's thesis hinted at and what Russell confirmed in his paper on the composition of the sun. Describing these two discoveries as different is misleading. As discussed above, her work was foundational to Russell's paper, and Russell had previously encouraged her not to reach the conclusion he would later make on his own.
"Cecilia Payne was the first woman to be promoted to full professor from within Harvard, and is often credited with breaking the glass ceiling for women in the Harvard science department and in astronomy, as well as inspiring entire generations of women to take up science."
This is true. Payne-Gaposchkin would be named as a lecturer in astronomy in 1938 after serving as Shapley's assistant for many years. Not until 1956 would Harvard award her a full professorship, but she became the first woman in Harvard's history to receive that honor. She also was appointed chair of the Department of Astronomy, becoming the first woman to chair any department at Harvard.
Correction [27 August 2019]: An earlier version misspelled Harlow Shapley's name.
Harvard University Department of Astronomy. "A Brief History of the Harvard College Observatory."
Accessed 23 August 2019.
Payne, Cecilia H. "Stellar Atmospheres."
Harvard Observatory Monographs.   1925.
DeVorkin, David, H. "Back to the Future."
Proceedings of Science.   August 2009.
Stryker, Linda. "A Life in Astronomy."
Science.   18 May 1984.
Russell, Henry Norris. "On the Composition of the Sun's Atmosphere."
Astrophysical Journal.   July 1929.
Encyclopaedia Britannica. "Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin."
British History Online. "The University of Cambridge: Epilogue (1939-56)."
Encyclopaedia Britannica. "Annie Jump Cannon."
American Astronomical Society. "Grants, Prizes, and Awards."
Archived 22 December 2010.
Rakoczy, Kate L. "Men Rule These Walls."
The Harvard Crimson.   5 June 2003.
New York Daily News. "Obituaries: Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin."
9 December 1979.
Payne-Gaposchkin, Cecilia. Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin: An Autobiography and Other Recollections.
Cambridge University Press, 1996. 0521483905.
Williams, Richard. "January 1, 1925: Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin and the Day the Universe Changed."
APS News.   January 2015.
Whipple, Fred L. "The Stars of High Luminosity: A Review."
Publications of the Astronomical Society of the Pacific.   April 1931.
CWP at UCLA. "Cecilia Helena Payne-Gaposchkin." | slim_pajama |
Maybe there are pockets of these retro, hands-off dads out there, but all the dads I know and love are thoroughly involved in their kids' lives—spending hours crafting Lego creations with their kiddos, taking late-night sick duty, and yes, changing diapers.
Dove's research focused on dads' media image, and it turns out, most guys are not entirely pleased with how they're portrayed. While more than 75 percent of guys out there feel that they're responsible for their children's well-being, only 20 percent of guys feel like the media shows that aspect of their lives.
And I love Dove's shout-out to the dads out there (have some tissues handy, and a phone to call your own dad).
Tell us: How does your husband rate as a dad? Is he super helpful, or are you the one doing most of the diaper changing and late-night duty? | slim_pajama |
Mbala may refer to:
__NOTOC__
Culture
Mbala people, an ethnic group of the Democratic Republic of Congo
Mbala language, spoken by the Mbala
People
Mbala Mbuta Biscotte b. 1985, Congolese footballer
David Mbala b. 1993, Congolese footballer
Yves Yves Mekongo Mbala b. 1987, Cameroonian basketball player
Places
Mbala, Cameroon
Mbala, Central African Republic
Mbala, Zambia
Mbala District, Zambia
Mbala Airport, Zambia
See also
M'Bala
Category:Bantu-language surnames | wikipedia |
even when return of spontaneous circulation ( rosc ) is achieved , mortality related to cardiac arrest due to pte is high . in the 2010 american heart association and the european resuscitation council guidelines ,
although surgical embolectomy is considered the most effective method to treat pte , emergency surgery after pte - related cardiac arrest is associated with high mortality .
we report two successfully resuscitated cases of cardiac arrest due to massive pte by using recombinant tissue - type plasminogen activator ( rtpa ) and therapeutic hypothermia .
a 52-year - old female was transferred to our emergency department ( ed ) from a local orthopedic clinic , presenting with cardiac arrest .
she previously had a right ankle fracture and lumbar vertebral compression fracture due to a traffic accident seven days prior to cardiac arrest .
she was found unconscious with a pulse in the bathroom of a local clinic after complaining of chest discomfort and dyspnea . on arrival in the ed ,
her initial rhythm was pulseless electrical activity . the estimated no - flow time and low - flow time were unknown and three minutes , respectively .
after achieving rosc , blood pressure ( bp ) was 49/35 mmhg and heart rate was 135 bpm .
after using norepinephrine ( 120 g / min ) and dopamine ( 30 g / kg / min ) , bp was stabilized at 129/93 mmhg .
computed tomographic pulmonary angiography showed heavy burden of pulmonary embolism in the bilateral pulmonary arteries and branches ( fig .
on echocardiography , a d - shaped left ventricle was observed during systole and diastole . within two hours of arrival at the ed
, she was admitted to the ed intensive care unit , and we started therapeutic hypothermia using a commercial temperature regulation system ( arctic sun temperature management system ; medivance , louisville , co , usa ) with our hospital protocol ( rapid cooling to 33c , 24-hour maintenance , and 0.15c / hr rewarming to 36.5c ) .
we also administrated 100 mg of rtpa over two hours , with a loading dose of 60 unit / kg followed by a continuous intravenous infusion of unfractionated heparin ( 12 unit / kg / hr ) . while conducting therapeutic hypothermia ,
no bleeding complications were observed . on her third hospitalized day ( hd3 ) , she was able to follow simple commands and vital signs were stable without inotropes .
the follow - up computed tomographic angiography at hd3 showed that the burden of pulmonary embolism remained in the right main pulmonary artery ( fig .
right ventricular systolic pressure , estimated by the maximum velocity of tricuspid regurgitation and right atrium pressure , was normalized ( from > 58 to 24.1 mmhg ) on echocardiography .
she was transferred to the thoracic surgery department to undergo a pulmonary artery embolectomy . at hd28 , she was discharged with a cerebral performance categories scale score of 1 , without neurological deficits .
a 62-year - old female was transferred to our ed from a local tertiary hospital after achieving rosc after cardiac arrest .
she had had a radical hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo - oophorectomy due to cervical cancer 20 days prior to the cardiac arrest .
when she arrived in our ed four hours after cardiac arrest , her bp and heart rate were 129/66 mmhg and 120 bpm with norepinephrine ( 20 g / min ) , but she was comatose .
2a ) , with a d - shaped left ventricle during systole and diastole visible on echocardiography . after admission to the ed intensive care unit within two hours of arrival , we started therapeutic hypothermia using a conventional method ( a commercial cold blanket , as well as 4c cold saline bladder irrigation or traditional ice packs placed on the patient s groin , armpits , and neck and head ) as per our hospital protocol .
we administered 100 mg of rtpa over two hours , with a loading dose of 60 unit / kg followed by a continuous intravenous infusion of unfractionated heparin ( 12 unit / kg / hr ) . at two hours after administration of rtpa , massive bleeding was observed via nasogastric ( ng)-tube .
right ventricular systolic pressure was normalized ( from 41.72 to 29 mmhg ) on echocardiography .
at hd7 , she was extubated and transferred to the cardiology department for an inferior vena cava filter insertion . at hd27 , she was discharged with a cerebral performance categories scale score of 1 .
a 52-year - old female was transferred to our emergency department ( ed ) from a local orthopedic clinic , presenting with cardiac arrest .
she previously had a right ankle fracture and lumbar vertebral compression fracture due to a traffic accident seven days prior to cardiac arrest .
she was found unconscious with a pulse in the bathroom of a local clinic after complaining of chest discomfort and dyspnea . on arrival in the ed ,
her initial rhythm was pulseless electrical activity . the estimated no - flow time and low - flow time were unknown and three minutes , respectively .
after achieving rosc , blood pressure ( bp ) was 49/35 mmhg and heart rate was 135 bpm .
after using norepinephrine ( 120 g / min ) and dopamine ( 30 g / kg / min ) , bp was stabilized at 129/93 mmhg .
computed tomographic pulmonary angiography showed heavy burden of pulmonary embolism in the bilateral pulmonary arteries and branches ( fig .
on echocardiography , a d - shaped left ventricle was observed during systole and diastole . within two hours of arrival at the ed
, she was admitted to the ed intensive care unit , and we started therapeutic hypothermia using a commercial temperature regulation system ( arctic sun temperature management system ; medivance , louisville , co , usa ) with our hospital protocol ( rapid cooling to 33c , 24-hour maintenance , and 0.15c / hr rewarming to 36.5c ) .
we also administrated 100 mg of rtpa over two hours , with a loading dose of 60 unit / kg followed by a continuous intravenous infusion of unfractionated heparin ( 12 unit / kg / hr ) . while conducting therapeutic hypothermia ,
no bleeding complications were observed . on her third hospitalized day ( hd3 ) , she was able to follow simple commands and vital signs were stable without inotropes .
the follow - up computed tomographic angiography at hd3 showed that the burden of pulmonary embolism remained in the right main pulmonary artery ( fig .
right ventricular systolic pressure , estimated by the maximum velocity of tricuspid regurgitation and right atrium pressure , was normalized ( from > 58 to 24.1 mmhg ) on echocardiography .
she was transferred to the thoracic surgery department to undergo a pulmonary artery embolectomy . at hd28 , she was discharged with a cerebral performance categories scale score of 1 , without neurological deficits .
a 62-year - old female was transferred to our ed from a local tertiary hospital after achieving rosc after cardiac arrest .
she had had a radical hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo - oophorectomy due to cervical cancer 20 days prior to the cardiac arrest .
when she arrived in our ed four hours after cardiac arrest , her bp and heart rate were 129/66 mmhg and 120 bpm with norepinephrine ( 20 g / min ) , but she was comatose .
2a ) , with a d - shaped left ventricle during systole and diastole visible on echocardiography . after admission to the ed intensive care unit within two hours of arrival , we started therapeutic hypothermia using a conventional method ( a commercial cold blanket , as well as 4c cold saline bladder irrigation or traditional ice packs placed on the patient s groin , armpits , and neck and head ) as per our hospital protocol .
we administered 100 mg of rtpa over two hours , with a loading dose of 60 unit / kg followed by a continuous intravenous infusion of unfractionated heparin ( 12 unit / kg / hr ) . at two hours after administration of rtpa , massive bleeding was observed via nasogastric ( ng)-tube .
right ventricular systolic pressure was normalized ( from 41.72 to 29 mmhg ) on echocardiography . at hd7 ,
she was extubated and transferred to the cardiology department for an inferior vena cava filter insertion . at hd27
massive pulmonary embolism ( mpe ) with hemodynamic instability is a clinical condition with a poor prognosis and a mortality rate greater than 50% .
current guidelines recommend aggressive treatment with systemic fibrinolytic therapy , catheter embolectomy , or surgical embolectomy , depending on the local situation .
fibrinolytic therapy remains the most commonly used treatment in hypotensive patients presenting with a mpe in the ed .
catheter embolectomy or surgical embolectomy can be used as an alternative mpe treatment method when fibrinolytic treatment is contraindicated or fails . when cardiac arrest due to acute mpe occurs , the risk of death increases up to 70% . in spite of achieving rosc , cardiac arrest due to mpe is often fatal because it results from mechanical obstruction of the pulmonary arterial tree by thrombi .
although fibrinolytic therapy is not recommended for undifferentiated cardiac arrest , it should be considered for cardiac arrest patients diagnosed with mpe .
rtpa has been preferred as a fibrinolytic agent . according to one small case series reported in 2014 , surgical embolectomy with percutaneous cardiopulmonary support
is considered the preferred method for mpe - induced cardiac arrest . however , overall mortality remained high in patients who underwent cardiopulmonary resuscitation ( cpr ) for more than 15 minutes .
there are no randomized trials guiding the use of fibrinolysis with hypothermia in cardiac arrest survivors following mpe .
it has been reported that a hypothermia - induced coagulation disorder could increase the risk of serious adverse events , but it is unclear if bleeding complications occur more often in cardiac arrest patients treated with therapeutic hypothermia . in a recent systematic review and meta - analysis , the risk of bleeding was not significantly higher for patients treated with therapeutic hypothermia .
relative contraindications to fibrinolytic therapy include prolonged cpr ( > 10 minutes ) and major surgery within three weeks prior to cardiac arrest .
however , current guidelines recommend that physicians weigh the relative benefits of fibrinolysis on a case - by - case basis . in our cases ,
the cardiac arrest survivor with prolonged cpr was diagnosed with mpe and then had fibrinolytic therapy using rtpa with therapeutic hypothermia .
although gastric ulcer bleeding was observed for the first few hours , it is unclear if this bleeding was made worse by fibrinolytic therapy or therapeutic hypothermia . in conclusion , we describe two cases of cardiac arrest due to mpe in which fibrinolytic therapy was successfully combined with therapeutic hypothermia .
this report suggests that fibrinolysis with hypothermia are feasible in the treatment of mpe with cardiac arrest
. however , larger scale and randomized trials are necessary to establish standard therapy for mpe with cardiac arrest . | pubmed |
European History Online Europäische Geschichte Online, EGO is an academic website that publishes articles on the history of Europe between the period of 1450 and 1950 according to the principle of open access.
Organisation
EGO is issued by the Leibniz Institute of European History in Mainz in cooperation with the Center for Digital Humanities in Trier and the Bavarian State Library, Munich. The editorial board comprises the two directors of the Institute as well as 25 European scholars of history. The project is funded by the federal state of the Rhineland-Palatinate and by the German Research Foundation.
Conception
EGO investigates the history of modern Europe from a transcultural/transnational perspective, in interdisciplinary cooperation and across methodological boundaries. Articles are published in English and German and provide additional contextual materials such as images, maps, videos, digitized sources, music etc.. The articles are categorized and can be accessed via ten thematic threads:
Theories and Methods: Methodological and theoretical approaches to a transcultural history of Europe
Backgrounds: Europe as a Communicative Space Prerequisites and Backgrounds
Crossroads: Spaces of Concentrated Communication
Models and Stereotypes: The Formation of Models and Stereotypes in Intercultural Transfer Processes
Europe on the Road: Migrants and Travellers as Mediators of Intercultural Transfer
European Media: The Media and Media Events
European Networks: The Transfer of Ideas, Technologies and Practices in Networks of Personal Relationships
Transnational Movements & Organisations: Groups with cross-border programmes and structures
Alliances and Wars: Rejection and Learning through Military Victories and Defeats
Europe and the World: Entanglements between and Reflections of Europe and the Non-European World
References
External links
European History Online
Twitter-Account EGO
Category:Historiography of Europe
Category:Open access publications | wikipedia |
Odyssey also known as OTN1 is a Canadian Greek language Category A specialty channel and is owned by Odyssey Television Network. It features programming from ANT1 Satellite, a private network from Greece as well as local Canadian content produced by Odyssey and other independent companies.
Programming on Odyssey consists of news, sports, Greek serials comedies & dramas, reality programs and more.
History
OTN1 was licensed as Odyssey on 4 September 1996 by the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission CRTC as a regional ethnic specialty channel for the province of Ontario. On 6 June 1997, before the channel launched, the CRTC amended its licence to allow it to be distributed nationally. In December 1998 Odyssey Television was launched on Rogers Cable and Shaw Direct.
Noted series
A list of notable shows that air on Odyssey, as of September 2019:
ANT1 News nightly newscast
Kalimera Ellada morning show, airs Monday Friday
Gynaika Horis Onoma soap opera, airs Monday Friday
Agries Melises drama, coming soon
NOMADS Madagascar reality series, airs Monday Friday
Rouk Zouk game show, airs weekday afternoons
Greek Cup Live Greek Football Cup matches
References
External links
ANT1 Satellite
Category: Canadian analog cable television networks
Category: Multicultural and ethnic television in Canada
Category: Television channels and stations established in 1998
Category: Greek-Canadian culture
Category: Greek-language television stations
Category: CanadaGreece relations | wikipedia |
Downton Abbey 1. On the Train
On the Train
Her hands clasp tightly together, rest solidly in her lap. Her lips pressed into a thin, harsh line, move ever so slightly as she chews on the lower one nervously. She absently stares out of the carriage's window and watches the countryside pass – an indistinct series of blues, greens, browns, and grays. She really does not notice the particulars. The lovely stone farmhouses, the children playing in the yards, women hanging the wash. To her they are but blurs on the countryside. Not one to brood, life is what it is, a series of circumstances, her mind drifts to the past, to the sister that she is traveling to see.
It has been three years since she has seen Becky, the sister four years younger than herself. The sister that she wished for, had been so excited to learn was finally coming. Her mother's pregnancy had been a happy one and Elsie marveled at the idea that a baby was growing inside her mother's belly. She had been a farm girl, watching births all her life, but this would be different. A brother or a sister (she secretly hoped) to confide in, to be friends with, to roam the rolling hills with. But she still shivers, a cold tingle running down her spine, when she remembers the night of her sister's birth.
The hours of waiting, the strangled cries coming from the bedroom, her father's anguished face, the midwife struggling and her aunt bursting through into the bedroom with warm blankets and pans of warm water. She remembers that no one bothered to tell her what was happening, but she understands now, forgave them long ago. She remembers scraps of conversation "a little girl," "wrapped around her neck," "infirm."
She remembers the first time she saw her sister, a beautiful little thing.
_All soft, big eyes and downy hair. Her mother beckons her sit next to them, to introduce herself to this sister that she has so wanted. Her mother explains that the little bundle's name is Rebecca, that it means both captivating and tied up; her mother explains that it also means secure. That they must always make sure Becky is secure. Elsie understands the captivating part right away for her sister captivates her. She loves her instantly, from the moment she extends her finger and the little bairn grasps it tightly. It will be fair few years before she understands the second meaning of the name, before she understands the life her sister is destined to lead. The tie that they will share. _
"We will be there soon," his voice interrupts her thoughts. She glances away from the window and looks to him, smiles, places her hand on his arm and squeezes.
"Yes, not long now," she replies.
**TBC: This story will not be a long, protracted thing. The chapters will not be long, just little insights into a visit with Becky, some backstory maybe, the perspective of Charles and Elsie. I would love to know what you think.**
2. Quiet Strength
Quiet Strength
A/N: A little update for today…
"Yes, not long now," she replies, her hand resting on his arm. He smiles, covers her small hand with his large one, caresses her wrist with his thumb. She slips her hand from his and finds her handbag, begins to search for something, a little black notebook and a pen. She flips open the cover begins to make a few notes and a list of items to purchase that Becky may like: pens, paper, colours.
He watches her as she writes, meticulous in her process, perfect script. He marvels at this woman, his wife, the fierce concentration playing across her face as she plans for her sister, for their stay at the little hotel nearby. Every item noted and checked. He watches as she absentmindedly chews on the end of her pen, thinking, and then writes a sentence and a question she wishes to ask the doctor.
He reaches for the pocket of his waistcoat and frees his watch, clicks it open, and notices the time. He rubs the chain between fingers, feeling the delicate metal, counting the links. His mind is taken back to their wedding night when she presented it to him. _A new chain for your watch, Charles._ His initial impulse had been to refuse it for he knew that she could ill afford such extravagances. Instead, tears flooded his eyes at her thoughtfulness, her sacrifice. He had tried to attach the chain himself, but in the end his shaking hands failed him and she affixed it for him. He places the watch back into the pocket of his waistcoat and pauses his finger a moment on the chain. He thinks that it is like her shinning and bright, delicate, yet strong. Steady. Always steady. This woman, his wife.
_Now I've embarrassed you._ The words haunt him still. Even then, when he unknowingly forced the secret out of her, she was concerned about him rather than herself. Concerned that she had mortified him with her story of poverty, of revealing something so very personal about herself to him, of somehow being less in his eyes. He looks over to her now, as she writes in her little book, and thinks how wrong she was to have thought such a thing. He saw her then, he sees her now, as not less, but more than most he knows. Richer than the family they serve, kinder beyond measure, and more than he deserves.
She flips the notebook's cover closed and places it and the pen back into her handbag. He reaches out, mostly something that she does first but he is getting better at, and takes her hand. He intertwines their fingers together and rests their hands on his knee.
TBC: Next chapter: At St. Anne's getting ready for a visit. Thank you all for the wonderful response! I am overwhelmed. I tried to respond to everyone and if I missed you, I profoundly apologize. I'd love to know what you think. The backstory of the Hughes sisters and the nature of Becky's illness will be revealed throughout the chapters.
3. Arrival
The last time she has visited St. Anne's she was alone. It was during the season when everyone was away and she took a week to herself, telling the few staff that remained back at Downton that she was visiting a distant cousin. She had lodged at a bed and breakfast, not unlike the one that she and her husband now own, visited her sister taken meals with her, walked the gardens around the hospital with her. She had walked the beaches, toes and ankles relishing the freedom from the thick stockings that confined them every day. Bare feet on warm sand, toes sinking into it, leaving prints behind, that the tide soon washed over. Her mark being washed out to sea with the footprints of all the others who had walked before her somehow comforted her. Being part of a larger whole, all bound by the Creator and nature that operates according to schedule. Yet, now she thinks of what and who she will leave behind when her time comes. She has never dwelt on these things much before. Tries to shake them from her mind. Wonders what on earth has gotten into her. But the thoughts are there. There are no children who have her eyes or hair. Her laugh or sense of compassion. Like the footprints washed out with the tide, what will be left behind? What will happen to Becky if she dies first? There is the money from the sale of the farm; her mother left her the place for the both of them. Elsie knew what her mother wanted, what she intended but did not spell out. That Elsie can take care of herself and that she must take care of Becky as well. They are sisters bound by name and blood and circumstance. She has never seen the money as hers; she is not bitter nor jealous, it is the way things must be. Long ago, Mr. Murray placed the money in a trust for the care of Miss Rebecca Hughes.
She steps off the train and takes in her surroundings, noticing that everything looks the same. The little red brick train station, the two wooden green benches on each side of the station entrance, the train schedule behind the glass. Even the stationmaster is the same man as the last time she visited. She knows that the only difference is with her; the gold band that the sits snugly on the third finger of her left hand and the big bear of a man who placed it there, standing to her right. He grabs their bags and guides her with a nod of his head toward the taxi stand. The last time she arrived, she walked to the place that she stayed and she is content to do it this time but a light rain has begun to fall and so they pile into a car and find their way to their hotel.
After supper, they bathe, change into their night things, take a cup of tea, and settle into bed. She has her notebook open, her reading glasses on (her vanity shows, she only wears them with him, never in public), she taps the end of the pen against the page as she thinks. Charles is reading the sport page of the local paper and making comments on how the local cricket club is faring. He has a keen interest in all things sport, not just cricket. This is but only one thing she has learned since they married; she feigns interest but listens dutifully. He prattles on about one thing or another but then notices that she has stopped responding. Folding the paper, he sets it aside and looks over to her. Finds her staring into her lap, at the book, at the black words scratched into the stark white paper. He reaches, takes the pen and book from her, and sets them aside with his paper.
"Elsie, what's wrong?" he asks softly. She has been pleasant enough today but distant. He decided to let her work through it, but can stand it no longer. "Have I done something?"
She jerks her head up in his direction; tears filling her eyes threaten to spill over. "You've done everything," she cries.
TBC…. Thank you all for the response to this story. Please drop me a line if you are so inclined. The next chapter will be longer and provide the answer for many of our questions.
4. A Story to Tell
A Story To Tell
"You've done everything," she cries. For a moment, she sees a wave of confusion pass over him, his eyebrows twisting downward just so. Poor man, she realizes, he misunderstands. Her tears are those of joy, hope, release. The burdens that she has held so long, the things that she doesn't lie about but doesn't say, she can share, and he has been so understanding so patient with her. He has not pressed her to reveal anything more about Becky than she is ready to. She has told him little bits here and there, when she has felt she must. It's old habit really, keeping it all to herself. But now this man, her man, lays beside her, warm and comforting, and she does not have to keep it to herself any longer.
She shakes her head slightly and wipes the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. "You must think me foolish," she says through a watery smile.
"No, never."
She looks down at her hands, as she fidgets with the blanket, and thinks for a moment. "Charles, I was always taught, that we took care of our own and that people had enough of their own burdens….."
"….and that is why you didn't tell me about Becky?" he asks.
"I don't know. Maybe." She looks up when she feels him unclasp her hands and taking one into his, cradling it between his two big paws. "It is the job of the housekeeper to give counsel not to seek it," she says with a sad smile.
"But you aren't just the housekeeper anymore, Elsie," Charles says fingering the ring that he had placed there just a few months earlier.
She slides down, pulling him with her, his face over hers. Running fingers through his graying hair, she gently encourages him forward and then claims his lips, pouring every feeling she has for him into a burning kiss. Every old burden that she could not or would not share, every fear, every unspoken desire, every 'Thank You' for listening, is here between them in this moment.
Charles reaches over her, turns off the lamp on the stand, and settles down pulling her close to him. Planting a kiss into her hair, he makes a request. "Tell me about you. About these Hughes sisters." He feels her relax into him and sees a smile, illuminated by the moonlight creeping in behind the drapes.
She tells Charles stories of a beautiful little lass with deep blue eyes, a shock of dark hair. Delicate features. Stories of two little girls, one thundering ahead of the other, but who by necessity and devotion learned patience and to slow to the other's pace. Of singing lullabies to her sister and making houses of fresh sweet straw and cakes and tarts out of mud. Of ambling after butterflies. Oh, she looks up to Charles with pride in her voice, Becky can identify and draw every butterfly in Scotland and England. He smiles, brushes her hair behind her ear. These are good memories, he is thankful that he can share them with her. She rests her head back in the crook of his shoulder. Tells him more of their childhood. Of singing on the front porch, braiding Becky's hair, sitting with their feet in the cool waters of Argyll's lochs.
Then Charles notices that her mood grows a bit pensive, but not maudlin. Sadness is a sometimes-traveling companion of happiness, she tells him as she picks at his pajama shirt. Circling a button with the tip of her finger. Elsie begins to tell Charles of a bright girl locked away in an unwilling body.
She tells him of how she read her lessons to Becky, who at two had no idea what Elsie was doing, but sat and listened nonetheless. Who, several, years later stayed at home with her mother while Elsie walked with her mates to the village school. How her sister was slow to speak and cried in frustration when she wanted to read or write the same way as the other children. Elsie remembers rubbing soothing circles on Becky's back until she quieted. How she sat, still sits, with a notebook and pencil and draws; it calms her. "She's really very talented." He hears the pride in her voice again before it turns to sadness as she tells him of how her parents struggled to buy a pair of desperately needed eyeglasses. Of how their mother cried at night when she thought they were sleeping but how she had heard. Heard the deep sobbing that occurred only under the cover of darkness where no one other than God could stand witness. But by day, Margaret Hughes stood tall, proud, worked hard and had a smile and bit of sass in her voice. "A right nippy sweetie," she laughs against Charles's chest.
Charles hugs his wife closer and mentions that he is beginning to understand that she is a little like her mother, perhaps. Elsie sighs. Perhaps she is. Lord knows she has cried over Anna and Mr. Bates. Alone in her room at night, cries muffled into a handkerchief or pillow so that no one would hear. And Lord knows she has a nip to her words. She thinks. If she is at all like her mother, then he has paid her an almighty compliment.
Charles listens as Elsie talks well into the early hours of the morning. She talks until her voice gives way to sleep, the words trailing off until he notices her breathing slows and her motions still. He smooths his hand over her shoulder and pulls the blanket over them. This night he realizes that butlers are not the only ones who need their hearts stitched up. Housekeepers do too.
TBC...Thank you so much for your reviews, follows, favorites, etc. I am woefully behind on my responses. It is the first of the semester and all but I am working on those responses. There are so many wonderful Chelsie fics out there right now, I am off to read and review and respond. Please drop me a line and let me know what you're thinking.
5. These Hughes Sisters
These Hughes Sisters
Elsie's handbag is looped over her elbow and she carries two small parcels wrapped in brown paper tied with blue ribbon. Charles coat pocket swells with a small package that the shopgirl wrapped for him. He reaches down, pats the outside of his coat, and makes sure that the parcel is safe. He smiles and hopes that she likes it when he gives it to her. Oddly, he is nervous. Her opinion means a great deal to him.
As they round the corner, the hospital comes into view. A large sprawling Victorian, surrounded by lush gardens and iron gate, Charles isn't sure what he had expected but somehow this home seems much less clinical than what he had imagined. He hadn't imagined the workhouse of course, but perhaps more of a cold, stone edifice, imposing, daunting, possibly filled with wards, and teeming with patients. But of course, she would never leave her sister in a place such as that. And then it makes sense as to why she went to see Grigg. Enlisted Mrs. Crawley's help. And oh, god, he cannot bear think it. What she must have gone through when she thought she was ill. He feels his heart begin to race. Both she and Becky could have ended up in one of those horrible places. Becky in an asylum and Elsie worried that she would end up in the workhouse or worse. Sometimes he can be a right fool, he thinks.
They approach the door and Elsie turns to him and smiles. He imagines that she is somehow seeking his approval; that she has done well by her sister when she made the decision to leave her here, at this place. "It's very nice," he offers sincerely.
"She seems to like it here. She's done well. They are very good to her," she answers back happily. He approves, she thinks, and his approval means more to her than she thought it would.
They ring the bell and a well-dressed man greets them at the door, asks them who they are and if they have an appointment. He checks his register and finds their names there. _Mr. and Mrs. Charles Carson._ Another change from the last time she visited, she thinks. Pride swells in her breast. _Mrs. Carson._ She signs the register with her new name; notices out of the corner of her eye how the corner of her husband's mouth twitches just upward as he watches her.
"Why don't I sit here while you visit? When you're ready, come and get me," he offers with a gentle smile. Truth told she is grateful. She hasn't seen her sister in three years and covets some time alone, wants to introduce the idea of her marriage to Becky privately. She clasps Charles' hand and squeezes, leaves him with a dazzling smile. He watches as she walks away from him toward the figure in the distance. Her stride familiar, strong, purposeful. He has watched her walk the halls of Downton for more years that he can remember, but nothing matches the sight before him now. She is walking toward the sister, whom she hasn't seen in a handful of years, the sister she loves, has devoted her life and livelihood to. He watches as she reaches Becky, she turns, and he sees Elsie's hands lovingly hold both sides of her sister's face and then brush over her hair. Charles's heart stirs as he realizes that this is family and that this is _his_ family. These Hughes sisters.
"Essie," Becky cries in delight at the touch of her older sister. The childhood nickname still warms Elsie's heart all these years later.
"Becky, lass, I've missed you," Elsie replies with a quiver in her voice.
Becky clings to her sister with a child-like innocence. In service, touch is something that servants crave, something Elsie starved for until Charles. She is overwhelmed by this overt showing of love. For most of her life, she has lived in such a constrained, proper, world where human touch is almost forbidden, unseemly. She draws her lip between her teeth, a habit not lost on her sister. "Just like Mam," she laughs. Elsie feels free to laugh as well. Becky's laughter. It's one of the things that she misses hearing every day. So pure and unaffected.
"I've brought you some things," Elsie tells her as she caresses Becky's hand and she guides them to a sit at the table that is nearby. When she places the two parcels on the table, she notices as Becky's eyes light up. She remembers it is the same look that Miss Sybbie had upon seeing the array of gifts under the tree her first Christmas morning. The happiness in Becky's eyes is always the same, never faltering, she is always amazed (and grateful) for whatever Elsie sends her by way of the post or brings to her when she visits. Elsie wonders how much better everyone would be if they approached life with the simplicity that Becky does. She is thankful that Becky is untouched from the harsh realities of life, unlike those back at home.
With enthusiasm and exaggerated motion, Becky unties the ribbon and quickly rids the parcels of their paper wrappings. Smiling broadly, she finds a supply of new pencils, coloured and regular and a new notebook for drawing. She immediately opens the notebook, turns to a fresh page and begins to doodle. Elsie and Becky fall into the familiar routine that they have had for years. They remember stories from their childhood. Reminisce about the chocolate cakes that their grandmother baked and the time that Elsie burned the shortbread black. Becky mentions about the time that Elsie blacked the eye of Donal Frazier when he tried to sneak a kiss at the village dance when she was thirteen. They speak of butterflies; of the small book on Scotland's butterfly species that Elsie sent last spring, (it is a cast off from Lord Gratham's library). Becky tells of some of the people at the clinic. A woman called Mary who talks to her baby doll. Another woman called Caroline with whom she plays snakes and ladders.
"Becky," Elsie begins tentatively "you remember my friend, Mr. Carson? I've told you about him. Well, he came with me today. He would like to meet you." More things she doesn't lie about but doesn't say. _Why not just come out and say it, Elsie? I've married Mr. Carson._
Becky continues to draw, a beautiful butterfly beginning to take shape. "Why does he want to meet me?" she asks innocently.
"Well, you see, he's my husband," Elsie replies, carefully gauging her sister's reaction. Becky continues to draw, never looking up. "We married a few months ago."
"So you aren't Essie Hughes anymore?"
"My last name is Carson now, but that is all that has changed," Elsie reassures her. "Nothing else has changed. He is a very kind man. Shall we meet him?" Elsie extends her hand to Becky's back, rubbing it as she did when they were girls. She is worried about how Becky might react to this change. Becky doesn't like change, but the doctor has assured her that Becky has progressed nicely over the years. Makes friends, engages in activities more often than she used to. Deals with change some better. Best get on with it, Elsie thinks.
Elsie stands, puts some gentle pressure on Becky's arm, prompting her, "Come on, he's waiting," she urges. Becky acquiesces. Stands, tears the page from the notebook that she's been working on, and arm in arm she and Elsie make their way to Charles.
"Mr. Carson, I have someone I would like you to meet."
TBC…This chapter has been the most difficult of any chapter I have ever had to write for anything ever. So with that said…..the next chapter will comprise Charles and Becky's first meeting. Please drop me a note if you are inclined. x
6. Cheerful Charlie & Scottish Butterfly
Cheerful Charlie and the Scottish Butterfly
"Mr. Carson, I have someone I would like you to meet," Elsie said with a hesitant smile. She'll never dare to admit it, but she's anxious. Anxious that Becky will not retreat into her shell in the presence of a stranger. And if she is to dwell on it, she hopes that Charles doesn't retreat into the Butler in the face of the unfamiliar.
Charles looks up from the article he is reading to find the two Hughes sisters, standing arm in arm before him. As he stands to greet them, doffing his hat, he is struck by them. He expects a family resemblance, of course, and is not disappointed. Elsie has shown him a few pictures, but none too recent and it is quite different to meet the woman in person. Oh, she is an inch or two shorter than Elsie, a stone slimmer, hair darker, but the similarities are remarkable. The same sapphire eyes dancing with an underlying hint of mischievous wonder, Becky's covered behind wire-rimmed glasses, but bright and shining nonetheless. Her face unlined by the worries of life, she shares the same high cheekbones, and importantly, in Charles estimation, the brilliant smile that he has come to love.
"It is a pleasure to meet you," Charles offers a little stiffly. He notices a note of concern pass briefly over his wife's face. Hopes he hasn't disappointed her; given her cause to worry that he will muck things up. "I've brought you a little something," he says as he nervously fishes the small package out of his suit pocket. "I hope that you like it, Becky."
Charles holds the parcel out for Becky to take and she hesitates for a moment. She looks to her sister, a question in her eyes. Elsie smiles, nods. Gives her a reassuring pat on the arm. "I have something for you too, Charlie," she says offering him the piece of paper that she's torn from her notebook. Charles mouth hangs open for just a moment and the intake of breath is almost audible.
"Well, Charles, you should count yourself special," Elsie chirps. "Becky doesn't just offer her drawings to anyone." She notices Charles' lip quiver as he takes the paper, turns it over and sees the most beautiful rendering of a delicate butterfly. His finger hovering just above the paper, he traces over the black lines, checkerboards of orange, cream, and brown shadings.
"It's perfect," he says, his tongue subconsciously slipping between his lips to wet them.
"It's a…." Becky begins
"…Marsh Fritillary," her brother-in-law finishes for her, both of them looking at one another, proudly. Elsie breathes a sigh of relief; the butler stayed in his box. She urges Becky to unwrap her gift from Charles, knowing that he has waited nervously to give it to her.
Becky tears the ribbon and paper from the parcel passing them to her sister. Much like Charles, she is astounded at the sight before her, silent for a moment, before rewarding Charles with a sparkling smile. "Essie look," she says excitedly showing Elsie her prize.
"Well, my, my Becky, you've quite an admirer in Mr. Carson," she replies with pride looking from her sister to her husband.
"Pin it to my dress, Essie, please," Becky asks. Elsie takes the silver stickpin with the lovely and delicate silver butterfly on the end, a small blue stone in its center, and pins it securely to the lapel of Becky's dress.
"Thank you Charlie," she says with such a sincerity that Charles' heart leaps just a little. He thinks of how the ladies at home take for granted all of the elaborate dresses, shoes, and handbags that come from the best stores in London but Becky is genuinely pleased with this small offering.
"You are very welcome, Becky," he offers in return.
As Charles listens to Elsie and Becky natter on about this and that, Elsie telling stories of those at Downton, Beryl, Daisy, Anna, and even Thomas, he wonders if there may be a place for Becky in their home. For so long his family had been the Crawleys, until Elsie and now, he realizes that his family sits here in front of him. These two women, these sisters. He wonders if Elsie will want it. They've not even retired yet, only been married a few months. If Becky will want it. To change from something that she has known for so very long. But the longer he listens, he thinks that it may work. He hasn't heard Elsie laugh so freely in years, since she was a young woman, before she became housekeeper. _I may just mention it_, he thinks, a feeling of satisfaction filling him.
Elsie listens to the easy banter between her husband and sister and it warms her heart. She wonders what it might be like when they are retired, away from their responsibilities at the Abbey, leading their own lives, to have Becky with them. But she looks to Charles and then she thinks _No, we've only been married a few months_. It wouldn't be right. We've never had time to ourselves. And to take on the responsibility at our ages. _I won't mention it_, she thinks sadly.
"I am sorry to interrupt, but we are ready to see you now, Mrs. Carson," the nurse says kindly.
Elsie worries her lip for a moment. She isn't sure if she is ready to leave Becky and Charles just yet, even if it is just to step down the corridor into Dr. Smith's office and then speak with the accounting office. She worries that Charles will become stiff again. That the Butler will resurface. That Becky may be uncomfortable without her there. They have been easy with one another with her present but without her?
"Mrs. Carson," the nurse interrupts again growing a bit impatient.
"It's all right Elsie, Becky and I will be fine. Come find us when you are finished," Charles reassures her. Elsie looks to Becky who seems content enough, she's drawing again, and she and Charles have been laughing about Scottish butterflies and Scottish dragons.
"I won't be long," she says as she brushes a hand across Becky's shoulder.
Elsie is with the doctor and then the bookkeeper for three quarters of an hour before she sets out to rejoin Charles and Becky. She returns to the porch swing where she left them, but they are nowhere to be found. She scans the other chairs and questions a few of those she comes in contact but they are of no help. Elsie takes a stroll about the gardens and then she sees them. She stops, completely befuddled and astonished at the sight. Charles' coat folded over the back of a chair, his hat lying atop it. Her husband in shirtsleeves with Becky and a gaggle of her friends gathered around him. As she moves closer she laughs aloud, she sees the true nature of this business. Her husband shuffling through a deck of cards asking one of the ladies to pick a card from those fanned out in his hand.
"Cheerful Charlie," Elsie teases as she made her way to his side, "I thought he retired."
Charles looks to her with a gleam in his eye that she's seen before. When a bazaar or dinner party goes spectacularly well, on their wedding day, when they opened the bed and breakfast to their first customer. "Pick a card, Mrs. Carson," he beams. "Cheerful Charlie at your service."
TBC...Thank you all for your kindness toward this story. To those who read, review, guest reviewers who I cannot thank personally, those who reblog on Tumblr, thank you for your support. Please drop me a line if you are inclined. A couple more chapters to go. x
7. She Stole My Heart Away
Months have passed since the visit to Lytham St. Anne's. In that time the Butler has turned over his book (one of them) to Mr. Barrow and the Housekeeper has turned over her keys (all but one) to Mrs. Baxter; the other she gives to Mrs. Patmore for old times' sake. Mrs. Carson finds that her fears that her husband would have trouble leaving the Abbey are unfounded, as they have settled into the satisfying hum of a daily routine. He makes his rounds each morning, attending to the fires in the sitting room and guests rooms, readies the table for breakfast. Each place setting exactingly set, perfectly arranged. He snips fresh flowers from their garden, he has become quite the gardener in their retirement, a fact that she is very proud of, and arranges them in a vase in the center of the table. Checks them twice before giving them his approval.
She readies breakfast. If they have guests, it is a treat of fresh made scones (her mother's recipe) and blackberry jam (her own). His chest puffs out proudly when he tells them that his wife's jam won first prize at the county fete. She serves eggs and bacon (from Lady Mary's pigs) and porridge with fruit if they request it. After breakfast, he clears and they do the washing up together; she washes and he dries. As they finish, he is known to sneak a kiss, just beneath her ear on that spot that still makes her smile, her knees a bit shaky. The combination of his warm breath, his scent, the press of his lips against the sensitive flesh of her neck, leave her feeling like a young lass. And though she knows it is coming, when he turns to leave her to attend to his day, he extends one of his big paws and gives her bottom a gentle pat; she hears the faint strains of a familiar tune humming from his lips. _She stole my heart away._
Their days are busy when they have guests. Luncheon and supper to serve. Elsie is an excellent cook. Though he would never dare admit it, Charles worried just a bit as to her culinary skill until she whipped up their first meal. Something to satisfy their hunger the morning after their wedding night. Any doubt he may have had she quickly erased. Elsie Carson proved that she could satisfy _all_ of her husband's appetites.
They attend to their guests when they have them and when they do not, he serves on a few committees within the community and the church; he complains that Mrs. Wigan serves on one of them as well. The woman continues to ruffle his feathers. Elsie listens in amusement when he complains of the woman's rudeness. Elsie, herself, volunteers with Mrs. Patmore at the church's charity food and clothing drive. She still helps to organize the church fete; Her Ladyship had asked her personally to continue to oversee it. Truth told, she is happy to do it. To keep her hand in, her mind sharp in organizing such a large undertaking.
At the end of the day, after sheets are changed and beds made, the rooms dusted and floors cleaned, dinner served and guests accommodated, Charles and Elsie finally have time to themselves. When the days are warm, they spend them enjoying the swing in the garden. Elsie particularly enjoys these summer nights, with Charles in his shirtsleeves (only when they have no guests), his tie loosened, and his mood light. His arm stretched out across the back of the swing, his hand cupped around her shoulder. Sometimes they sit in silence, enjoying the sounds of nature. Other times they reminisce of their days in service, those who were their charges, the latest letter from Mr. Branson, or they speculate on when Mrs. Patmore might finally retire to her cottage. When they are well and truly alone, she snuggles close into his side and he plants a kiss to her hair. A satisfied sigh rumbles from Charles' chest, he pushes her aside gently so that he can look at her, see her face, the lovely smile that she offers him. He takes her hand, pushes himself up from the swing bringing her with him. Kissing her gently, he asks a question; a question she answers as she leads him into their cottage.
xxxxxxxx
He returns from the village post office. Another encounter with that woman, Mrs. Wigan, he complains. He sorts the post, places the bills on the kitchen table, and then sees two letters in particular which makes him smile.
"Seems that we each have one today," he says happily, as he passes her letter across the table to her.
She looks at the envelope, sees the return address, and knows immediately who sent the letter. "Well, I wonder what she's sent us this time," Elsie chirps as she begins to open the brown envelop bearing her name.
Charles has already opened the envelope bearing his name "Mr. Charlie Carson." He removes the paper inside and shows the envelope to his wife. "You know, I would never let anyone else call me 'Charlie,'" he says with feigned grumpiness, tapping the envelope with his forefinger.
"No one else would dare call you 'Charlie'," she says laughing. She sees his eyes glance over the paper that he is holding and then she looks over her own. She smiles. It is a drawing of Charles surrounded by Becky and several of her friends. Elsie is choosing a card from a deck fanned out in his hand. The detail is amazing and the expression of joy on Charles' face is captivating; the smiling eyes, upturned crooked smile, rosy cheeks, dancing eyes. Becky has managed to capture the sweet man that usually only Elsie gets to see.
They write Becky faithfully. Charles writes twice a month, as does Elsie. She writes of the goings on of the guesthouse, of the community, of Charles and his garden. Makes inquiries of Becky and her friends. He writes of silly jokes that he thinks she will like, sends snippets of cartoons from the newspaper, of funny things that her sister does. Tells her of a kitten that has come up to their door and that Elsie cannot bear to turn it away.
"Let me see your picture," Elsie says as she moves to pass hers to across the table to him. She notices that he hesitates. "Charles," she says softly. As he looks up, she notices his eye are wet, misty. He passes the paper to her, his lip trembling just slightly.
She takes it, vaguely recognizes the subject with her youthful curves, full hip and bosom. An angular face with chiseled cheekbones, wide sapphire eyes full of both innocence and mischief, and supple lips. The curly dark hair with streaks of auburn flowing wild and free in the breeze, the last carefree days of youth before adulthood and duty came calling.
"Beautiful," the word sticks in his throat.
"That was a lifetime ago," she says softly. "I'm afraid I don't much recognize her now." She has almost forgotten that farm girl; told him once that she was not that girl anymore. He had been right; life has altered her.
"Don't you? her husband asks sincerely. "Because I do." He reaches across to take her hand. Becky has given them each a gift. With pen, ink, and colour she has captured them as she sees them. Him – handsome, kind, generous, funny, and loving. Her – beautiful, mysterious, carefree, and now loyally standing beside him. She has sketched into paper what is etched into their hearts; confirmed what they see that others might not.
"You know, I've been thinking," he begins hesitantly with a ragged breath. "I have something I would like for you to consider. I know that it might be unusual but I would like you to consider it nonetheless."
"Charles, I hope this isn't another _business venture_," she teases.
"Will you never stop teasing me about that?" he asks pointedly.
"Probably not," she laughs as she squeezes his hand.
He steadies his breathing. _She can still make me feel off-kilter, blast it._ "Elsie, I've been thinking that now that the business is running smoothly and now that we've been married a while and had some….."
"…time to ourselves?" she finishes for him.
"Yes," he says with a slight blush creeping up his neck and cheeks. "I was wondering what you might think of inviting Becky to live with us? It _would_ make you happy wouldn't it?"
He watches her pull her lip between her teeth hard; it blanches as she bites down on it. She pulls her hand from his, rises to her feet, to stand. She turns her back to him, gripping the cool porcelain of the kitchen sink. He has just asked her the very thing that she has wanted since that visit with Becky all those months ago. He has explained why he waited until now but she wonders if he is only doing it to make _her_ happy?
"Charles, are you sure of what you are asking?" she asks quietly.
TBC…Please, if you are inclined, let me know what you think. I appreciate all of your reviews (to guest reviewers to whom I cannot respond individually "Thank You!,") reblogs, favorites, and follows. x
8. What You Are Asking
"Charles, are you sure of what you are asking?" she asks quietly. Her fingers grip the cool porcelain of the sink's edge, her knuckles blanche, and if the sink were not made of cast iron she is sure that she will leave an impression. She has thought about bringing Becky to live with them since they visited her. Not every day, if she is honest with herself. She has been happy just the two of them, pottering around their house, the garden. Watching her husband in the early morning when she wakes and he is still sleeping, the buttons of his pajama top worked loose in the night when the house is warm, like this summer. Watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, the skin that only she gets to see, touch, and taste. The hair that is mussed from sleep, the hum of his slumber, the gentle and sometimes not so gentle snore that lets her know that he is still there, beside her. (She cannot bring herself to think of the day that he won't be; she banishes that thought from her mind.) She relishes the walk to church on Sundays when she can wrap her hand in the comfort of his elbow as they natter on about this and that. The way he looks down at her fills her with pride that he is hers.
It is in the quiet moments when he is in town on business, when she misses the bustle of the Abbey, misses Beryl Patmore ranting in the kitchen, and the endless parade of maids through her sitting room. When she's cleaned the house and changed the beds and done it all again, when they've no guests, and there are no bazaars to plan, that she desperately misses her sister. Wants to bring her to Downton. And not for herself, not because she is selfish or needs a project like the ladies of leisure that she worked so many years for. No. It is because she is _his_ wife and _her_ sister and they are settled now and a family and families should be together. Not out obligation but love. And she does love. Loves completely and without reservation. But if Becky is to come, it cannot be to make her happy as much as she loves Charles for suggesting it. It must be because it is right and he wants it as well.
"I _do_ know what I am asking," he answers after a moment. He is confused by her reaction. She's turned her back to him and he cannot read her. He admits that she still befuddles him sometimes, causes him to feel off from time to time. It is not an altogether unpleasant feeling, because if he lives two lifetimes they will not be long enough to learn the intricacies of this woman, his wife. And he so enjoys learning the intricacies of her. Her mind, her heart, her body. But today, in this moment he is utterly confused; wonders what he has done to upset her so. "I thought the idea of bringing Becky to live here with us would make you happy."
She turns to meet his eye, her own drawn tight. "I am happy. Do you think that I am unhappy?"
"Then I don't understand," he says genuinely. "Do you not wish to bring her here to live with us?"
Elsie closes her eyes and releases a deep breath. "I'll not deny that I've thought about it but…"
"…but what?" he interrupts. "Elsie, you once asked me if I have ever thought of going another way. Of working in a shop of having a wife, of having childr…."
"….Becky is not a child Mr. Carson," Elsie spits out. "She is a grown woman with special….special requirements. She cannot replace what we do not have." Her heart sinks the moment the words tumble from her lips; she is ashamed of herself that she has hurt him in such a way that he doesn't deserve. This lovely man who sits in front of her like a wounded bear and she is the cause of it. But she must know. Must know that he understands what they are in for.
He sits shocked as if an electrical current has passed through him. They've not had words this harsh since her cancer scare and then they came from him. He wants to bolt. To push away from the table, to grab his coat from the hook by the door, and leave. The walk until he can walk no more. She needs to cool down and he needs to think. He needs to understand why she is so angry, why she has lashed out when he only mentioned something he thinks will completely mend her heart as she once did for his.
He finds that he cannot move, cannot leave her. He watches her as her chin drops to touch her chest and a tear drops from her eye and drops to the floor. She wipes the back of her hand across her eye and he hears a muffled. "I am sorry, Charles. I didn't mean it."
He knows that she didn't. Perhaps she did mean _some_ of it. He sometimes thinks of the little ones they might have had. Imagines curly headed boys with her eyes and little girls with his flair for the dramatic. Grandchildren clinging to his trousers pleading for peppermint sticks or playing with the new kitten that Elsie has taken in. He thinks of these things on those quiet days, when he is in the garden, when he misses the bustle of the Abbey, when she is away at a charity function, or choir practice.
He pushes away from the table, makes his way to his wife, and gathers her in his arms. He pulls her close; she rests her head on his chest, his chin against her hair. "Elsie, what are you afraid of?"
"I don't know," she cries. "I want you to be certain that you want Becky to live with us not just because you think that it will make _me_ happy."
He shifts away from her just slightly so that he can look at her eyes, he takes his handkerchief from his pocket and gently dries them. "After my mother died, I had no family left. Well, except a few distant cousins that I didn't know. So, for many years, I borrowed another man's family for my own. I thought that was all I needed. But, because…of you, I have my own family and that includes Becky. That is what I was clumsily trying to say. It may be a little late, but we have our other way, now. Bringing her here is not a substitute for anything but it completes our little family. My family. So if I am being selfish by suggesting….."
Elsie flashes a brilliant smile through happy tears. She raises to kiss him, her lips press to his. She tastes of tea and shortbread, salty tears, and happiness. Charles presses in deeper, wraps one hand around her waist, another at the back of her head. He wonders if she will ever know how happy she makes him. If he can ever express how she makes him feel. How proud he is to be her husband, to be a part of this family of theirs. How his heart flutters when she breaks the kiss, brushes her fingertips across his cheek, beams at him with pride, and calls him her man.
"Well, now that it's settled," she says as she brushes the hair over his ear "it is of course up to her."
TBC… Thank you all for your reviews, Tumblr love, etc. You cannot know how much it means to me. If you are inclined, please let me know what you think. I covet your reviews. I apologize if I did not respond to everyone last chapter. Life has been a bit crazy as of late as I am sure all of you can sympathize with. Next chapter, Becky's response. Then maybe one more chapter to round it out. I am inclined to crank up the Elsie Hughes novelist / Charles Carson sportscaster AU that I wrote the one shot for in "I Am Afraid That You Will Continue To Wonder." It will be the story of how they meet, etc. A prequel if you will. Let me know if you'd be interested in seeing that. Thanks. x
9. A Mother's Wish
"…but we are her family and I don't…." Charles interrupts before her hand on his arm stops him. His wife looks to him imploring him to hold his tongue; to allow the doctor to finish speaking. The tension in the room hangs heavy. Elsie knows that her husband's harsh tone is because he is anxious. She has been on the receiving end of it often enough herself. Now that they sit here, before the doctor who is peering at them through his wired rimmed spectacles, dressed in his perfectly starched white coat, they worry that they are doing the right thing. For them. For Becky. Not many people can intimidate either one of them and the doctor is not unfriendly, quite the opposite. He is courteous and he has not intentionally said anything to put them off the idea of bringing Becky home with them. And this man who only has Becky's best interests at heart does not intimidate them, but Elsie realizes that perhaps they have not thought through every possibility. She and Charles pride themselves on examining every detail and she thinks that they have thought them all through but perhaps they have not. She watches her husband as he firmly grips the brim of his hat; she can almost hear what he is thinking. _How dare this man suggest that we are not Becky's family?_
"Mr. Carson," the doctor softens his tone. "Miss Hughes has lived here quite a long time. She has established friendships and a sense of family that might be difficult to give up no matter how fond she is of her sister or you for that matter. She is accustomed to routine, to a prescribed schedule; her days change very little."
"But are you suggesting that we should not ask Becky if she would like come live with us?" Elsie questions.
"No, Mrs. Carson," the doctor begins, shifts in his chair and adjusts some papers on his desk. "You should be aware that your sister may be hesitant, even resistant to the idea of leaving our home." He leans into his desk and steeples his fingers together across its top. He sees the concern play across Elsie's face and the consternation set in the jaw of her husband. He is not being unkind; quite the contrary. This is the kindest thing that he can do for them. "Mrs. Carson, I am confident that you will be sensitive when speaking with Becky and that should she decided not to leave you should not take offense. She most certainly would not mean it as such. And should she decide to leave, we will offer every assistance in making her move a pleasant one."
As they make their way to the common room, Charles replays the words of the doctor over in his mind. _A sense of family. Routine. Prescribed schedule. Her days change very little_. He realizes that Dr. Smith could have well been describing him during his days in service. Bits of conversation flitter through his mind. "_What are you so afraid of?_ _We're catching up, Mr. Carson. Whether you like it or not, Downton is catching up with the times we live in."_ "**_That is exactly what I am afraid of_**," he remembers telling her. Elsie chatters as they walk through down the corridor passing the dining hall, the doctor's words washing over those of his wife. _A sense of family. Routine. Prescribed schedule. Her days change very little_. _"They are not our family." "__**They are all the family I've got**__."_
Charles pulls the packet of cards from his coat pocket. He cannot help but notice the smile on Becky's face as he empties the paper box and discards it to the side, shuffles the cards, and begins to distribute them to Elsie, Becky, and then himself. They chat amiably for a while about generalities. Becky's friends. The goings on at Downton. Charles tells of varieties of birds and butterflies that visit their garden. Elsie speaks of the little tabby called Misty that comes to their door every morning, skirts around her legs, purrs for milk and food. How she sometimes finds Charles asleep in the garden swing, Misty sprawled across his lap. Charles laughs as he tells how Elsie shooed the cat outside after finding her atop the kitchen counter lapping milk from a glass.
"We've a house with three bedrooms, sitting room, a bathroom, kitchen, and another small room off the kitchen," Charles mentions, drawing two cards from the pile in the center of the table. "Each guest has their own room." He surveys those in his hand and those he needs. "Becky do you have any…ehm…threes?"
"I've never had my own room. I share with Ada," Becky casually informs them as she searches through her cards for those Charles requested. She finds that she has none and gleefully taps the pool of cards in front of them from which Charles must select one. "Sometimes I'm afraid at night," Becky confides in her sister, "Ada sings to me, like Mam used to. Are you afraid at night, Essie?"
Elsie smiles as she rearranges the cards fanned out in her hand. She looks up to Charles, sees the corner of his mouth upturned. "No, sweetheart. I'm not frightened."
"Do you have your own room Essie?" Becky asks innocently. Elsie's eyes dance as Charles vainly attempts to suppress a nervous cough. So many years alone in small rooms, they are thankful for the room they now share. The comfortable bed they share. The nights and mornings shared.
"I share with Charles, Becky. Like Da and Mam. Remember?" Elsie replies matter of factly. Charles is thankful that Becky is preoccupied with counting the cards in her hand. She does not press for further explanation. She asks Elsie for fives and Elsie passes her a card. Becky seems pleased to lay down a matching set on the table in front of her.
"Ehm, Becky, would you ever like to visit our house?" Elsie asks as she fans out the cards in her hand, arranging them by number and suit.
"Could I bring my friends?" she asks with childlike innocence. Charles looks over his cards, catches his wife's expression. Notices that she has pulled her bottom lip between her teeth; she is chewing on it and he thinks that she might draw blood if she does not stop.
"Any eights?" Elsie asks Charles. He flips out a card passes it to her. As he does, their fingers touch and he lingers a moment, caresses her finger with his. Catches her gaze and offers her a sympathetic smile. "No, dear. I'm afraid that we haven't the room for all of your friends. Just you," Elsie replies as she places a pair of cards into the messy pool of discards in front of her.
"But they would miss me and I couldn't be gone long because I would miss Duff."
Elsie folds her cards and lays them down in front of her. "Duff? Becky, Duff has been gone a very long time."
"No, Essie," Becky insists. "Duff lives here and visits us in the garden. He came as a little kitten and Dr. Smith said that we could keep him." Elsie smiles, picks up her cards.
"I'll wager Duff is very black," Elsie teases.
Becky looks up from her cards, astonished. Charles suppresses a laugh; he has seen the same look from her sister more times that he can count; usually when he has done something that shocks her. "How do you know that?" she asks
Elsie shakes her head in amusement. Of course, Becky would name the cat after the old black cat that slept in soft hay in the barn back home in Scotland. Memories flood back of a wee lass, tucking the docile old feline under an arm and waging him around the farm. And then how inconsolable a four-year-old Becky was the day the old cat died and their father buried him on the hillside up from the house. "Well," Elsie begins, "we wouldn't want Duff to be lonely without you."
"He would be sad," Becky replies. Elsie nods in agreement. The decision has been made.
The card game plays to its natural conclusion and Charles and Elsie completed their visit with Becky. They leave her with a new blouse and skirt, a gift from Mrs. Crawley. A tin of biscuits from Mrs. Patmore and Daisy. Some stamps so that she can send them pictures when she wishes. Elsie pulls Becky close, embraces her, and places a kiss to her cheek. She pulls back, clasps one of Becky's hands in her own, the other she places gently on her shoulder, then smoothes slowly, lovingly down her arm. Tells her to take care of Duff. To try not to be frightened at night. Elsie steps in again, closes the distance, hugs her sister tightly, and breathes in the essence that is Rebecca Hughes. Knows that this could be the last time that they see each other. Though she hopes to visit next year, she'll not make promises; they are getting on after all. Becky smiles and she has no idea why her sister is holding on so tightly. No inkling that she has made a decision that affects them all.
As Elsie pulls away Charles steps in. He gives Becky a kiss on the cheek and presses a packet of cards into her hands. He tells her to play the game with her friends and that he will send her the instructions for a new game soon. They all say their last goodbyes and Elsie feels Charles hand at her elbow as they turn away from Becky and begin to walk down the corridor away from the common room. She is thankful that he is there, offering a steadying presence as she reaches into her handbag and finds her handkerchief. She brings it to her eyes and then to her nose. Presses lightly at the moisture gathered there. She looks up to her husband and finds kind eyes.
He has seen her like this before. When they walked home from the memorial dedication and she was broken hearted over Anna and John. He had offered her encouraging words then, had managed to get a half smile from her and shocked himself. She was usually the one for encouraging words. Yet, perhaps he can help carry her burden today. "I am sorry that you are sad," he offers.
He watches as her eyes fill with tears and she looks away briefly before raising her eyes back to him. He sees the corners of her eyes crinkle; her lips turn up. "I'm not sad Charles," she answers. "All my mother ever truly wanted was for her daughters to be happy. We may not have been happy every day of our lives but…." she pauses, her lip worried before she can begin again, "…..but in the end….."
"…..in the end, your mother got her wish?" Charles asks with hope.
She places her hand in the comfortable bend of his elbow. "I think that you already know that answer to that, Mr. Carson."
He covers her hand with his own as they begin to walk again down the corridor. "And that makes me very happy, Mrs. Carson. Very happy indeed."
TBC… The last and final chapter is an epilogue that I hope to post over the weekend. Thank you all for your very generous support of this story. I covet your reviews and appreciate each and every one of them. To the guests to whom I cannot respond, "thank you." x
10. Epilogue
In the years that follow, Elsie and Charles visit as they are able and time allows. When they find help to manage the guesthouse or when there are no bookings, they take the train to Lytham St. Anne's. Becky always seems pleased to see them, greets them with that "Hughes smile" as Charles calls it. When they aren't able to make the trip, they write religiously and Becky continues to send paintings and pencil drawings of butterflies, of Duff, and of her friends. She has the nurses write for her of teaching her friends to play the card games of which Charles sends instructions. She is particularly pleased when she manages one of the card tricks he sends.
At Christmas, Elsie manages to send a new dress or suit of clothing; perhaps a pair of shoes on Becky's birthday. The nurses send a card of thanks in return with Becky's signature scrawled at the bottom. Elsie is amazed that such a talented artist has such poor handwriting. But then again she thinks that while she has very nice handwriting she has no talent for art. Elsie puts each letter, every card, every painting away in box for safekeeping. She chooses not to think that they are of no significance to anyone other than Charles and her. That one day someone will toss the pictures, along with many other things, into a bin. That their house will be cleared of its belongings, furniture sold, clothes given to the church charity drive, personal possessions bequeathed away to those listed in their will. The furniture means nothing, nor the clothes, but certain things mean everything to her. The ring Charles slipped onto the third finger of her left hand, her mother's broach, Charles pocket watch that she hears ticking away in the quietness of the night, and Becky's drawings. They are all precious to her. But she cannot think of all that; if someone tosses them out she will not be around to know it anyway.
xxxx
The house is warm; as the sun beats down upon it Elsie has thrown open the windows to air the rooms, to enjoy the summer breeze that occasionally blows through ruffling the curtains. They have one guest, a young man who is repairing some of the stained glass windows at the church and putting in another given by the Granthams in remembrance of the Dowager. He's been in the village for a fortnight and he will be leaving in a week going back to Glasgow. He's been little trouble, comes in early, takes breakfast and supper with them, talks cricket with Charles. Elsie is happy to have someone in the house from home, a young person to talk with. When she hears Charles and the young man talking sport, she wonders what it would be like if the young man were their son. If Charles had a son to talk cricket with and she had a son to dote over, cook for. She's seen the look in Charles' eye, when he's talking with the lad. Or the misty-eyed look just before he averts his gaze when he thinks that she's not looking when she and the young man are talking of home. Truth told, both of them will be sad to see him go.
One day a knock at the door comes, the quick rap of a visitor rather than the longer familiar knock of a friend. Elsie places a cool hand to the door handle to turn it, opens the door to find a young man, his bicycle standing behind him, a letter in his hand. She has been on the receiving end of a telegram a fair few times in her life. Some for herself. Many for others in her duties as Housekeeper. Experience tells her that this is personal; something that she doesn't want to open. The telegraph boy extends the note toward her; he was here just two days ago delivering another telegram. One telling her to stand by, that there is no need to come just yet. Wait until she receives further word. She takes it from him and the sends him on his way.
She closes the door and leans against it, holds the telegram to her breast, and closes her eyes. She knows what is inside, what the doctor and his staff have written. She wishes Charles is home perhaps he could read it first, but then she scolds herself. She has never cowered in the face of anything. Not when her father dropped dead in the fields when she was sixteen or when her mother died of pneumonia when she was forty-five and Housekeeper at the Abbey. Not when she rushed into the dining room to find _him_ surrounded by the family, red faced possibly dying from a heart attack. Not when duty called first and all she could do was to direct the dinner service and _then_ attend to him. Not when she found her girl in a disheveled heap in the corner of her sitting room after that despicable valet forced himself upon her. No. Elsie Carson did not flee from a crisis. Her mother taught her that.
She reads the black lines on the cream paper. Her last connection with home gone. Her last living relative dead. Her sister with the angels.
xxxx
Charles runs his thumb over the gold lettering on the book's spine as he casts appraising eye over the leather cover, taking in each detail. The fine stitching, the walnut colour of the leather. He hums in appreciation. Opening the cover, Charles examines the cream marbled end covers; turns the page and rubs his finger across the name on the title page. Her name in stark black script stands contrasted against the crisp white page. Elsie watches as her husband's lips turn up at the edges. She's already looked over the book but he appreciates the finer qualities of the thing. The perfection of it. But when his eyes first register the author's name, Elsie's heart swells with unimaginable pride. Charles passes the book back to his wife and she cradles it lovingly in her lap.
"So you're pleased?" the lady in the smart jumper and skirt asks. She looks so comfortable and confident behind the desk, Elsie thinks. Elsie is proud of the woman she has become. To have been through so many trials, she has indeed triumphed in the end.
"Oh, my lady, it is so much more than I ever imagined," Elsie replies sincerely.
"Well, we've the leather bound volumes of course and for the general trade market there will be these," Lady Edith remarks as she reaches across her desk to hand Elsie a copy of hard cloth bound volume with a paper dust jacket. Elsie smiles as she takes the book and thumbs through it. To her it is just as beautiful. The illustrations inside are the real treasure no matter the cover that binds them. She leans over, proudly shows the volume to Charles.
"Becky was very talented," Lady Edith offers with a smile. "I could not believe all of the pictures when I saw them."
"It was rather amazing," Charles replies with a smile. "Memories collected over a lifetime. I never thought that they might be collected into a book."
Elsie finishes with the book in her hand and places it on the desk. Finds herself drawn to the letters on its spine. _Butterflies of Great Britain by Rebecca Hughes_. If only our mother could see, Elsie thinks wistfully. Perhaps she can.
"And we've taken the originals and placed them in our archives like you asked, Mrs. Carson. They will be preserved," Lady Edith assured her.
"Very well," Elsie replied. "Now as to any proceeds that are earned from the sale of the book, Mr. Carson and I wish for those to go to a fund that we have set up in Becky's honor to provide funding for those who need care at the home where she lived. It has been fixed, so Mr. Ward will be contacting you to make the arrangements."
Lady Edith smiles broadly at the former butler and housekeeper. She tells them that she is honored that they asked her to be a part of publishing Becky's work; to help secure her legacy. Now that their business is concluded, Charles and Elsie inquire of little Marigold who lives with her mother in London. Lady Edith shows them several pictures of the little girl who is bright and cheerful much like her mother now. London is good for them and Edith has come into her own. Though the Butler has his favorite, Charles is proud of the woman Edith has become.
xxxx
The Carsons return to their guesthouse and visitors come and go. The summer of 1931 is their last as proprietors, as "property magnets" Charles once called them. For Charles' seventy-fifth birthday, they take down the guesthouse sign, decide to pack it in and close up shop, and retire for good. They've done well for themselves and before they are too old, before knees and hips and backs give out completely, they sell the house to a young couple with four children. With a tidy sum in their account, they buy a cottage near the sea and spend their days doing as they please. Charles pocket watch rarely leaves its spot on the dresser and he and Elsie find that their mornings lie in is just right. On cool nights they sit uninterrupted by a small fire, reading their books, her leaned into his chest, sherry glasses nearby. And early nights, well, early nights are sweet and tender, slow and gentle. When the weather is nice and warm, they walk in bare feet along the sandy shore hand in hand, holding each other steady.
Elsie looks forward to the post when they receive a letter from Beryl with news of Downton, of home. But home is where they are now, together. They will visit at Christmas and stay at the Bates' hotel. She cannot wait to see her girl and the little one with the golden hair of her mother and the soulful brown eyes of her father. If she misses anything, it is that. Seeing Anna's child grow up, Beryl, and Daisy. She keeps up with them through the post and Charles has installed a telephone. She speaks with them on occasion but she and Charles are frugal and telephone calls expensive.
Each month Elsie receives a statement from Mr. Ward's office. Becky's book has done well, has allowed a stipend for a fair few people to supplement their care. It is a gentle reminder that each life has purpose no matter how affected or afflicted. She hopes that her mother would approve, thinks that she would, will ask her one day. When she sees her again. One day. But today, she sees her man strolling up the path to their cottage. She smiles. He has a fishing rod, a pail, and a stringer full of fish. She hugs her arms close to her breast. He brings his catch, his bounty, and lays it at her feet. He leans in to kiss her and he tastes of sea spray. Her mind flashes back to that day in his pantry, all those years ago before the war, another now on the horizon, when she asked him about another way. She sees it before her now. She reaches up, cards her fingers through his white hair, and has never been happier.
A/N: Well, we've reached the end of our story. An even ten chapters. This has been a _real_ emotional experience for me. When I started out, I just though "Hey, this will be just an exercise in fleshing out a tidbit that was left in hanging in a lovely episode." But it turned into something much more personal. Many of us have / had someone in our lives, a "Becky" that we have been or are a carer for. I have one. Due to privacy, I will not say who it is. But every decision that I make as to how many classes I teach, whether or not it is time to retire (I am only in my early 40s, mind but can retire at this point) to devote my full energies to this person, to financial considerations to provide appropriate care, is wrapped around considerations for this person. This is a lifelong situation for this person and I do worry what will happen when I am no longer around (due to distance, health, or worse). But as I told someone privately (and I appreciate your listening, you know who you are), I appreciated the way that PL played this out because for many of us, this is just life. We, like the fictional Elsie Hughes, do not seek nor ask for pity, it just is life. You just simply deal with things as they come and make the best decisions you can. Therefore, thank you for all who read, reviewed reblogged on Tumblr, commented privately, and provided me with insight (chelsie-carson and klswhite). It has meant more to me than you can know. Ok, therapy session over. x
End file.
| fanfiction |
When we are inside a plane and look outside the window why does everything (outside) appear to be at rest?
When we are inside a train and we look outside the roadside trees appear to be moving in the opposite direction but when we are inside a plane and look outside the window everything seems to be at rest. Why is that so? The plane is moving so to the passengers inside the plane the outside things (clouds etc) should appear to be moving, but why don't they?
You must have watched only the uniform blue sky, otherwise we do can see things passing by. :)
| stackexchange/physics |
currently , the standard model describes most aspects of nature with remarkable precision .
if there is new physics at the multi tev scale ( perhaps associated with the hierarchy puzzle ) , it is reasonable to expect measurable deviations from the predictions of the standard model in the flavor sector . amongst the experiments with very high reach in the mass scale associated with beyond the standard model physics
are those that look for flavor violation in the charged lepton sector through measurements of the processes , @xmath1 @xcite and @xmath2 conversion @xcite , and the search for electric dipole moments of the neutron , proton and electron .
models with scalar leptoquarks can modify the rates for these processes .
simple models of this type have been studied previously in the literature , including their classification and phenomenology @xcite .
our approach is to first identify the minimal renormalizable scalar leptoquark models containing one single additional representation of @xmath0 and construct the most general renormalizable model without any additional constraints on the couplings apart from the usual ones , i.e. , gauge invariance , poincar invariance , and locality . given the strong experimental constraints on baryon number violating processes like @xmath3 , we concentrate only on those scalar leptoquark models which do nt have baryon number violation in perturbation theory .
of course there is baryon number violation through non - perturbative quantum effects since it is an anomalous symmetry .
but this is a very small effect at zero temperature .
only two models fulfill this requirement .
one of those two models gives a top mass enhanced @xmath1 decay rate .
we perform an analysis of the phenomenology of this specific model , including the @xmath1 decay rate , @xmath2 conversion rate , as well as electric dipole moment constraints focussing mostly on the regions of parameter space where the impact of the top quark mass enhancement is most important . for lepton flavor violating processes at higher energies such as @xmath4 , deep inelastic scattering @xmath5 , _ etc .
_ , the impact on the phenomenology of the top quark mass enhancement of charged lepton chirality flip is less dramatic and that is why we focus in this paper on low energy processes involving the lightest charged leptons .
there is also an @xmath6 enhancement of the one - loop contribution to the charged lepton mass matrix .
we focus on the region of parameter space where this contribution does not necessitate a fine - tuning of parameters .
we also consider the effects of dimension five operators that can cause baryon number violation .
we find that the two models without renormalizable baryon number violation can have such operators and , even if the operators are suppressed by the planck scale , they may ( depending on the values of coupling constants and masses ) give rise to an unacceptable level of baryon number violation .
we discuss a way to forbid these dimension five operators .
a general classification of renormalizable leptoquark models can be found in @xcite .
however , in the spirit of our approach , in which we are interested in models with no proton decay , a more useful list of possible interaction terms between the scalar leptoquarks and fermion bilinears is presented in @xcite , where those models that have tree - level proton decay are highlighted .
the relevant models are listed in table i below . .
[ cols="^,^,^ " , ] the only two models fulfilling our requirement are @xmath7 and @xmath8 . + @xmath9 .
+ the lagrangian for the scalar leptoquark couplings to the fermion bilinears in this model is , & = & -_u^ij |u_r^i x^tl_l^j -_e^ij |e_r^i x^q_l^j + h.c . , where , x = ( c v _ + y _ + ) , = ( cc 0 & 1 + -1 & 0 + ) , l_l = ( c _
l + e_l + ) . after expanding the @xmath10 indices it takes the form , & = & -_u^ij |u_r^i(v_e_l^j - y__l^j ) + & & -_e^ij |e_r^i(v_^u_l^j + y_^d_l^j ) + h.c . .
note that in this model the left - handed charged lepton fields couple to right - handed top quarks , and the right - handed charged lepton fields couple to left - handed top quarks .
so a charged lepton chirality flip can be caused by the top mass at one loop .
+ @xmath11 .
+ the corresponding lagrangian is , & = & -_d^ij |d_r^i x^tl_l^j + h.c . , where we have used the same notation as in the previous case . expanding the @xmath10 indices yields , & = & -_d^ij |d_r^i(v_e_l^j - y__l^j ) + h.c . .
in model ii the leptoquark can not couple to the top quark , so there is no @xmath6 enhancement in the @xmath1 decay rate .
there is also no @xmath12 enhancement , and the one - loop effective hamiltonian for @xmath1 ( after integrating out the massive scalars and the heavy quarks ) is proportional to the muon mass .
for this reason , in the remainder of the paper we will focus entirely on model i.
in this section we analyze some of the phenomenology of model i , i.e. , @xmath7 .
we concentrate only on those constraints which are most restrictive for the model and potentially most sensitive to the unusual top mass enhancement of the charged lepton chirality change , i.e. , the ones coming from the following processes muon decay to an electron and a photon , muon to electron conversion , and electric dipole moment of the electron .
there is a logarithmically divergent contribution to the charged lepton mass matrix that is enhanced by @xmath6 .
this contribution to the mass matrix , coming from momenta between @xmath13 ( the cutoff ) and @xmath14 is , [ mij ] m_i j _
e^j 3 ( ) . to avoid unnatural cancellations between this loop contribution to the lepton mass matrix and the tree - level lepton mass matrix we require , [ delta_mij ] |m_i j| . for example , for a scalar of mass @xmath15 and a cutoff set at the gut scale eq
. ( [ mij ] ) gives , m_i j _
u^3i _ e^j 3 170 gev , which , combined with eq .
( [ delta_mij ] ) , yields the following constraint on the couplings , will include the constraint imposed by eq .
( [ delta_mij ] ) by indicating which regions of the plots are not favored by the naturalness considerations .
the relevant feynman diagrams for this process are presented in fig . 1 .
the uniqueness of model i is that , apart from the fact there is no tree - level proton decay , the @xmath1 rate is enhanced by the top quark mass . to our knowledge , such an enhancement of @xmath1 was observed previously only in @xcite in the context of an @xmath10 singlet scalar leptoquark model . however , that model suffers from perturbative proton decay and the impact of the @xmath6 enhancement was not focussed on . keeping only the piece enhanced by @xmath6 , the sum of amplitudes corresponding to the diagrams in fig .
1 ( neglecting the terms proportional to @xmath16 ) is given by , @xmath17 \ , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath18 is the photon four - momentum and @xmath19 is the photon polarization .
the function @xmath20 is given by , f(x ) = + ( ) , and the tilde over the couplings denotes that they are related by transformations that take the quarks and leptons to their mass eigenstate basis through the following @xmath21 matrix transformations , @xmath22 where the right - handed up quarks in the lagrangian are related to the right - handed mass eigenstate up - type quarks by the matrix @xmath23 , the left - handed up quarks in the lagrangian are related to the left - handed mass eigenstate up - type quarks by the matrix @xmath24 , _
etc._. from eq .
( [ lambda ] ) as a function of the scalar leptoquark mass for two values of the @xmath25 branching ratio relevant for the meg experiment .
the shaded region consists of points which do not satisfy eq .
( [ delta_mij ] ) . ]
the @xmath1 decay rate is , ( e ) = f(m_t^2/m_v^2)^2 , where , [ lambda ] .
2 shows the relation between @xmath26 and the scalar leptoquark mass .
this dependence was plotted for the @xmath1 branching ratio equal to the current upper limit of @xmath27 reported by the meg experiment , and the prospective meg sensitivity of @xmath28 .
it shows that the experiment will be sensitive to scalar leptoquark masses at the hundred tev scale for small values of the couplings .
for very small @xmath29 , @xmath30 .
this is a reasonable approximation in the range of @xmath29 we are interested in .
for example , @xmath31 .
+ the effective hamiltonian for the @xmath2 conversion arises from two sources , @xmath32 the first is the dipole transition operator that comes from the loop diagrams which are responsible for the @xmath1 decay , given by , @xmath33\ .\end{aligned}\ ] ] using the following fierz identities ( for spinors ) , ( |u_1l u_2r)(|u_3r u_4l ) & = & ( |u_1l ^u_4l)(|u_3r _ u_2r ) , + ( |u_1l u_2r)(|u_3l u_4r ) & = & ( |u_1l u_4r)(|u_3l u_2r ) + & + & ( |u_1l ^ u_4r)(|u_3r _ u_2l),we arrive , after integrating out the heavy scalar leptoquarks ( at tree level ) , at the second part of the effective hamiltonian , [ hamiltonian ] _
eff^(b ) & = & \{_u^12(_u^11)^*(|e_l ^_l)(|u_r
_ u_r)+_e^11_u^12 + & & + _
e^11(_e^21)^*(|e_r ^_r)(|u_l _
u_l)+(_e^21)^*(_u^11)^ * } + & & + ( _ e v_ckm)^11((_e v_ckm)^21)^*(|e_r ^_r)(|d_l _ d_l ) + .
the ckm matrix arises whenever a coupling to the left - handed down - type quark appears . in eq .
( [ hamiltonian ] ) the contribution of the heavy quarks , as well as the contribution of the strange quark , are in the ellipses .
since the operators @xmath34 and @xmath35 do require renormalization , their matrix elements develop subtraction point dependence that is cancelled in the leading logarithmic approximation by that of the coefficients @xmath36 . including strong interaction leading logarithms we get , @xmath37^{-12/ ( 33 - 2n_q)}\ ] ] and @xmath38^{4/ ( 33 - 2n_q)}\ , \ ] ] where @xmath39 is the number of quarks with mass below @xmath14 . in order to match the effective hamiltonian ( [ hamiltonian ] ) to the hamiltonian at the nucleon level and use this to compute the conversion rate , we follow the steps outlined in @xcite . from eq .
( [ lambda ] ) as a function of the scalar leptoquark mass for two values of the @xmath40 relevant for the mu2e experiment . the thin solid line , corresponding to @xmath41 , is included for reference .
the shaded region consists of points which do not satisfy eq .
( [ delta_mij ] ) . ] our results , taking into account only the contribution from @xmath42 , are shown in fig .
the current experimental limit is @xmath43 @xcite .
however , here we focus on the prospective mu2e experiment @xcite , which has a sensitivity goal of @xmath44 .
the comet experiment @xcite aims for comparable sensitivity in later stages .
we use the total capture rate for @xmath45 of @xmath46 @xcite to switch from the @xmath2 conversion rate to a branching ratio .
apart from coupling constant factors , the contribution to the @xmath2 conversion amplitude from @xmath42 is enhanced over the contribution to the amplitude from @xmath47 roughly by @xmath48 , for @xmath14 in the hundred tev range .
our results show that in some regions of parameter space the mu2e experiment will be able to constrain leptoquark couplings with similar precision to what can be done with an experiment which is sensitive to a branching ratio for @xmath1 of around @xmath49 .
in other regions the mu2e experiment is likely to give a more powerful constraint for such a @xmath1 branching ratio , for example , when the yukawa couplings are strongly hierarchical and the top quark loop is very suppressed . to show graphically the contributions to the branching ratio originating from terms in the effective hamiltonian with different structures
, we set all the couplings to zero apart from @xmath50 for simplicity , i.e. , we leave only the couplings relevant for the @xmath1 decay and one of the vector contributions to @xmath51 . from eq .
( [ lambda ] ) as a function of the scalar leptoquark mass for a branching ratio @xmath52 and four different positive values of the ratio of the couplings @xmath53 from eq .
( [ ratio ] ) .
the shaded region consists of points which do not satisfy eq .
( [ delta_mij ] ) . ] . ]
note that the heavy quark contributions are suppressed by @xmath54 , low energy phenomenology suggests that the strange quark contribution is small , and furthermore the tensor contributions are not enhanced by the atomic number of the target .
in addition , we consider only real couplings and define @xmath55 .
we also assume @xmath56 , so that we can plot @xmath26 as a function of the scalar leptoquark mass @xmath14 for a given value of the ratio , [ ratio ] r = . figs . 4
7 show our results for a few values of @xmath57 @xmath58 , @xmath59 , @xmath60 , @xmath61 and two values of the branching ratio @xmath62 .
for @xmath63 the branching ratio is dominated by the @xmath42 contribution and in this parameter region all curves look like the ones in fig . 3 . for larger values of @xmath53 , depending on the relative sign between the contributions from @xmath42 and @xmath47 ,
there are two possibilities .
if the interference is constructive , the curve moves down with increasing @xmath53 since a smaller value of the coupling @xmath26 is required to achieve a given branching ratio ( figs . 5 , 7 ) .
in the case of a destructive interference , the curves move up until a value of @xmath53 is reached for which the two contributions are the same ( figs . 4 , 6 ) .
as estimated before , this occurs for @xmath64 .
increasing @xmath53 further brings the curves back down , since the @xmath47 contribution becomes dominant .
large values of @xmath53 are expected if the yukawa couplings of @xmath65 exhibit a hierarchical pattern like what is observed in the quark sector ; @xmath66 changes generations by one unit while the product of couplings in @xmath26 involves changing generations by three units .
finally , we note that for all the curves in the plots above the yukawa couplings are well within the perturbative regime . .
] . ]
another flavor constraint on the couplings of model i comes from the electric dipole moment ( edm ) of the electron . as mentioned earlier , the fact that @xmath65 couples directly to both left- and right - handed quarks means that at one loop the top quark mass can induce the chirality flip necessary to give an electron edm .
we find that , [ edm ] |d_e| f(m_t^2/m_v^2 ) |im [ _ e^13 _ u^31]| . the present electron edm experimental limit
@xcite is , |d_e| < 10.5 10 ^ -28 e cm .
we can write the dipole moment in terms of the branching ratio , @xmath67 , giving the constraint , @xmath68\big|}{\lambda } \sqrt{{\rm br}(\mu \rightarrow e \gamma ) } < 2.0 \times 10^{-7 } \ .\end{aligned}\ ] ] for example , if model i gave a branching ratio equal to the current experimental bound of @xmath69 , this would correspond to the constraint on the couplings of @xmath70\big|/ \lambda < 0.13 $ ] .
figure 8 shows the relation between the parameters @xmath70\big|$ ] and @xmath14 for the electron edm equal to @xmath71 \big|$ ] as a function of the scalar leptoquark mass for three different values of the electron edm .
the shaded region consists of points which do not satisfy eq .
( [ delta_mij ] ) . ]
tree - level renormalizable interactions are not the only possible source of baryon number violation
. it might also occur through higher - dimensional nonrenormalizable operators . in the standard model proton decay
is restricted to operators of mass dimension six or higher . however , the scalar leptoquark models we consider exhibit proton decay through dimension five operators .
let s first consider model i , in which @xmath7 .
although it does nt give proton decay at tree level , one can construct the following dimension five operator , [ o1 ] _ i = g^a b d_r ^a d_r ^b ( h^x _ )
^ . the coupling constant matrix @xmath72 is antisymmetric in flavor space . because of the tree - level leptoquark couplings ( see , table i )
, baryon number violating decay occurs here through the process shown in fig . 9 , resulting in @xmath73 and @xmath74 .
setting the coupling constants to unity , we estimate the baryon number violating nucleon decay rate caused by this operator to be , [ rate ] _ p 210 ^ -57()^4()^2 gev .
since the current experimental limit is @xmath75 @xcite , even if the scale of new physics @xmath76 is equal to the planck mass @xmath77 when the coupling constants are unity , this operator causes too large a proton decay rate for @xmath78 . in the case of model
ii , where @xmath8 , there are two dimension five baryon number violating operators , [ o2 ] _
ii^(1 ) & = & g^a b u_r ^a d_r ^b ( h^x _ ) ^ , +
_ ii^(2 ) & = & g^a b
u_r ^a e_r^b ( x_x _ ) ^ .
the operator @xmath79 permits a nucleon decay pattern similar to the previous case , e.g. , @xmath80 and @xmath81 .
proton decay through the operator @xmath82 is much more suppressed . in order to prevent proton decay through dimension five operators
, one could introduce a discrete gauge symmetry that forbids the baryon number violating nonrenormalizable couplings . since @xmath83 is the only anomaly free global symmetry in the standard model , we chose to impose a discrete subgroup of @xmath83 . in models
i and ii the leptoquark has @xmath84 .
the usual @xmath85 , where the nontrivial transformation is @xmath86 , does nt work , as the operators @xmath87 , @xmath79 , and @xmath82 are invariant under this transformation .
however , we find that imposing a @xmath88 discrete symmetry , with elements that are powers of @xmath89 $ ] , forbids these dimension five operators and , thus , prevents the proton from decaying in this class of models .
note that gauging @xmath83 and spontaneously breaking the symmetry with a charge three scalar ( at some high scale ) leaves this unbroken discrete @xmath88 gauge symmetry .
it is not possible to use any discrete subgroup of @xmath83 to forbid proton decays in the models from table i which exhibit proton decay at tree level since all the interactions conserve @xmath83 .
finally , we would like to comment on the relation between this work and that of @xcite , where renormalizable models that have additional scalars and have baryon number violation at tree level but not proton decay were enumerated and discussed . in these models none of the scalars
were leptoquarks ( they could rather be called diquarks or dileptons ) .
however , if we permit higher dimension operators , then models 4 and 9 containing the scalar @xmath90 ( which has renormalizable diquark couplings ) , have dimension five leptoquark - type couplings , _ iii & = & g^a b ( |q_l^a h ) e_r^b x _ .
this operator , combined with the renormalizable couplings of @xmath65 to two quarks , gives proton decay with the rate estimated in eq .
( [ rate ] ) .
this observation restricts the parameter space of models 4 and 9 presented in @xcite to the one in which either the color triplet scalar @xmath65 is very heavy or its yukawa couplings are small .
we have investigated the minimal set of renormalizable models in which a single scalar leptoquark is added to the standard model with the requirement that proton decay not be induced in perturbation theory .
we have looked in detail at one particular model which gives an unusual top quark mass enhancement of the branching ratio of @xmath1 . for this model
, we have considered the @xmath1 branching ratio , the @xmath2 conversion rate , and the electric dipole moment of the electron , in light of current constraints and future experiments .
we have shown the potential limits the meg , mu2e , and the electron edm experiments could place on some of the couplings of the scalar leptoquark to the @xmath91 and @xmath92 bilinears .
we have explored the region of parameter space for which the loop contribution to the charged lepton mass matrix does not overwhelm the tree - level part . given this naturalness constraint ,
we have found that current experiments are sensitive to leptoquark masses on the order of a hundred tev , whereas future experiments may push the sensitivity into the several hundred tev mass region .
we have commented on the existence of nonrenormalizable operators in these minimal models which can give an unacceptably large proton decay rate for @xmath93 , as well as provided a simple mechanism for avoiding them .
since there are only two scalar leptoquark models where at the renormalizable level baryon number is automatically conserved , it would be interesting to examine a more extensive range of phenomena and address , over a wide range of parameter space , how to distinguish experimentally between these two models .
the authors are grateful to vincenzo cirigliano and robert tschirhart for helpful comments .
this paper is funded by the gordon and betty moore foundation through grant @xmath94 to the caltech moore center for theoretical cosmology and physics .
the work of the authors was supported also in part by the u.s .
department of energy under contract no .
de - fg02 - 92er40701 .
r. kitano , m. koike and y. okada , _ detailed calculation of lepton flavor violating muon electron conversion rate for various nuclei _ , phys .
d * 66 * , 096002 ( 2002 ) [ erratum - ibid .
d * 76 * , 059902 ( 2007 ) ] [ hep - ph/0203110 ] .
h. nishino _ et al . _
[ super - kamiokande collaboration ] , _ search for proton decay via @xmath101 and @xmath102 in a large water cherenkov detector _ , phys .
lett . * 102 * , 141801 ( 2009 ) [ arxiv:0903.0676 [ hep - ex ] ] . | arxiv |
today 's micro and nanoelectronic industry is more or less entirely based on silicon , a material that offers single crystalline substrates with a very high purity at a low cost . in contrast to other semiconductor materials , such as indium and gallium needed for iii
v compound semiconductors , there will never be any shortage of silicon as it is the second most abundant material in the earth crust .
these facts have initiated intense research efforts in developing epitaxial growth of non - silicon semiconductors on silicon substrates , particularly for applications in areas such as lighting , photo - voltaics , and high - speed electronics [ 14 ] . in this respect ,
the recent use of nanowires for heteroepitaxial growth of iii v semiconductors on si has attracted considerable attention since their small diameter allows for relaxation of part of the strain resulting from the lattice mismatch at the heterointerface . even in an extreme case , such as in the case of direct growth of inas on si with a lattice mismatch of 11.5% , where a high density of defects can be expected ,
no line or planar defects running along the length of the nanowires have been reported .
in addition , the small nucleation area leads to single crystalline wires , guaranteeing that no anti - phase boundaries are created inside a wire .
already a short distance above the substrate , high quality inas is available , which can be used for many different applications .
several groups have shown inas and gaas nanowire growth on si [ 5,714 ] . in this work
, we attempted to further understand the growth mechanism leading to self - seeded particle - assisted inas nanowire growth ( i.e. nucleated by liquid indium particles ) on si and in particular to control the position of the wires .
such a position controlled growth of nanowires is required to use the superior electronic and opto electronic properties of iii v materials [ 1517 ] for devices in combination with si substrates . in the following , we will evaluate the influence of the sio2 mask on nanowire growth .
first , we investigate the influence of the opening diameter on nanowire nucleation and their size .
the results are then compared to the influence of pre - depositing indium prior to growth .
then , we study the influence of the growth time on nanowire length and diameter . finally , some interesting features observed in merged nanowire morphology will be discussed .
lowly doped si ( 111 ) wafers were thermally oxidized to a sio2 thickness of 4555 nm . after dicing the wafer into 99 or 55 mm pieces , these were spin coated with pmma , baked and exposed using electron - beam lithography ( ebl ) .
the pattern was then transferred on to the sio2 layer by etching for 55 s using a 1:10 buffered hf solution .
after this step the pmma layer was removed by remover 1165 ( rohm and haas ) at 65 c , for > 5min .
this was followed by 90 s o2 plasma cleaning and a 30 min ozone ashing to remove any remaining organic material from the si surface .
this layer was removed prior to growth by an additional hf etch step . in this case , the samples were etched for 28 min using a weak , 0.46 mol% hf in h2o solution . to minimize the effect of oxidation , the samples were loaded into the h2-atmosphere of the epitaxy system as quickly as possible , typically within 710 min . after the samples were loaded into the reactor they were heated to 625 c and annealed at this temperature for 10 min in an h2 atmosphere , after this the samples were cooled down to growth temperature of 540 or 550 c under a h2 atmosphere . after the growth temperature was reached , usually both sources , trimethylindium ( tmi ) and ash3 , were introduced simultaneously .
the tmi and ash3 molar fractions were varied from 3.110 to 4.010 and from 2.810 to 1.510 , respectively . the growth system ( epiquip 502-rp )
was operated at 100 mbar and uses a h2 carrier gas flow of 6000 ml / min . to stop growth
the tmi supply was switched off and the samples were cooled under ash3 supply , to prevent decomposition of the nanowires .
the ash3 supply was turned off when the temperature reached 300 c and the samples were taken out of the reactor as soon as the temperature dropped below 100 c .
using the growth method described above , well controlled nanowire growth can be achieved , as is illustrated in fig .
the opening sizes varied from 85 nm to 220 nm ( in total of 12 different opening sizes in this range ) , and they were arranged in regular triangles with a 800 nm pitch .
sample tmi and ash3 molar fractions of 3.910 and 2.810 were used , respectively . in fig .
4 the nucleation yield , nanowire diameter and nanowire length are shown as a function of the opening diameter .
the yield is here defined as number of openings nucleating nanowire growth divided by the total number of openings in the pattern . as can be seen in fig .
this diameter is almost independent of the opening size , except for the two left most data points where a slight decrease in the diameter is found , but still within the diameter distribution of the other samples .
this shows that the diameter of the wire is not determined by the opening size , but rather by other factors . in previous work ,
we have reported evidence that the growth is nucleated by a liquid indium particle , the size of which likely determines the initial nanowire diameter . in this process
self - seeded growth thus perfectly explains the observed independence of wire diameter from the opening size . as can be seen in 4(c )
, we find an indication for an increase in nanowire length with decreasing opening size .
as the fwhm of the data is quite large it is hard to clearly interpret this effect
. it could be due to the decreasing yield observed with decreasing opening size , which leads to more material available for the nanowires that do grow . as already discussed by various groups [ 1921 ]
, the nanowire growth rate depends on the surface diffusion of the group iii material .
another possibility might be that simply slight variations in nanowire size lead to variations in nanowire length .
4(a ) can be caused by two effects : the first effect is that smaller openings lead to smaller collection areas for indium , hence decreasing the probability of an opening to form a seed particle . since the wire to wire distance
most likely is smaller than the indium diffusion length , once a wire starts growing , the indium seed particle will act as a sink and collect a considerable amount of indium from the surrounding surface , as will be discussed in detail below , reducing the probability for formation of additional seed particles nearby .
the second effect is that the openings re - oxidize during the loading of the sample after the final hf dip , and that it takes longer for a larger opening to be covered by an oxide layer than for a smaller one . as we know that on a sio2 surface nanowire growth is not possible ( otherwise we should have nanowire growth on the entire sample surface ) , there is a critical thickness of the sio2 layer below which nanowire growth is possible . as the oxidation is independent of position , at each point
as we have not reached the critical oxide thickness ( otherwise nanowire growth is not possible ) the oxidation process was stopped before .
the probability for a full oxide coverage of critical thickness during the loading time is much higher in smaller openings .
therefore , even for the case that the oxidation mechanism is vertical , the opening size has an influence . in both cases ,
the yield is directly connected to the initial opening size and can in this work not be distinguished . to understand more about the influence of the opening size on nucleation ,
further samples were investigated , on which large areas of the sio2 layer have been etched away ( 500 nm1m wide , up to several 10m long ) , while in between also areas with arrays of smaller openings ( up to 250 nm in diameter ) have been fabricated .
the growth itself was performed with a molar fraction of 3.110 and 1.510 for tmi and ash3 , respectively . on such samples we find that in the small openings a high yield of nanowire nucleation can be achieved , while when large areas of the si surface are exposed , large crystallites of inas with no distinct preferential growth direction are found instead of nanowires , as shown in fig .
this clearly demonstrates that the seed particle size is critical for nanowire nucleation , and that seed particles larger than a critical size around 250 nm do not nucleate wires . due to the high growth rate and growth conditions used in a movpe system
it is not possible to probe the time dependence of the nucleation directly . as can be seen in fig . 5 the number of crystallites is smaller than the number of nanowires .
the crystallites seem to be separated by roughly the diffusion length of indium ad - atoms on the si surface which is in the order of 1m , consistent with the increase in axial growth rate with decreasing nanowire yield , as discussed above .
indium droplets closer together will most likely merge by atom migration , leading to a ripening effect and merging of indium particles due to their movement collecting all the material in larger particles .
this mobility of indium particles is suppressed by an immobilization effect of the sio2 layer leading to smaller indium particles in the small openings which nucleate nanowire growth and to the position controlled nanowire growth observed here .
in previous work we studied the mobility of indium droplets on a clean inas substrate and a substrate covered with a thin siox
( x1 ) mask layer .
the indium droplets on the oxide covered surface are immobilized and typically a high density of small droplets is found .
in case of the samples with a clean substrate surface such a suppression of indium particle movement does not exist and in a quite short time indium particles of m size can form . the sio2 mask used in this work
is expected to have the same influence on indium particle movement , leading to small indium particles and nanowire growth in small openings ( < 300 nm ) and large indium particles and crystallite formation in large openings ( > 1m ) .
5 clearly contradict the case of selective area growth ( sag ) , as proposed in . for sag the entire clean si surface seen in fig .
furthermore , nanowires grown according to the sag mechanism should cover the entire size of the opening , assuming that no oxidation has occurred . in case
the openings do oxidize , the nanowires diameter should correspond to that of the remaining clean si surface . in both cases
this should result in a clear correlation between opening size and nanowire diameter , in contradiction to our findings . to verify the finding that indium droplets above a critical size do not nucleate inas nanowire growth we compared the results of several growth runs with and without intentional indium pre - deposition .
in the following we discuss the indium pre - deposition for 0 s , 1 s , and 16 s , after which the ash3 was activated to initiate nanowire growth .
for the samples with a pre - deposition of 1 s and 16 s a molar fraction of 4.010 a molar fraction of 7.410 for tmi and ash3 is used , respectively . for the sample without pre -
3 , a high yield of nanowire growth can be achieved without indium pre - deposition .
if a small amount of indium is pre - deposited , more than half of the nucleated structures are nanowires , but several larger structures form in the openings , as shown in fig .
if the indium pre - deposition is further increased , only large crystallites are found , as can be seen in fig .
it is interesting to mention that the crystallites cover all the space between two openings , suggesting that the indium particles that formed during indium deposition might have even been larger than the openings . with these experiments
, we demonstrated that the role of the oxide mask layer is to limit the mobility of the indium particles to the oxide openings , where nanowire nucleation occurs , and by that position control is achieved .
we clearly show that nanowires only nucleate if indium droplets smaller than 250 nm are provided , which is the case inside openings within a certain diameter range .
the yield of nanowires can be increased using openings small enough to prohibit the formation of large indium droplets , indicating that the oxide layer reduces the surface mobility of indium droplets .
too small openings , however , lead to a reduction in nucleation , as discussed above .
as mentioned already in previous work , we found that the nanowire length as well as the diameter is influenced by the growth time .
a sample series was grown in which only the growth time was changed . for this growth molar fractions for tmi and ash3 of 3.110 and 1.510
were used , respectively . the nanowire diameter changes from 475 nm to 1300190 nm and the length from 0.710.1m to 4.710.65m when increasing the growth time from 30 s to 16 min . as the indium particle on the wire top
is not fixed in size but consists of material provided during the entire growth process this particle continuously grows , and consequently also the wire diameter .
interestingly , once the nanowire growth is nucleated , wires with quite large diameter can still maintain the axial growth as was the case for the wires grown for the longest time .
it should be noted that once axial growth is initiated , the diameter of the wire and by that of the particle as well can become larger than the proposed maximum particle size for the initial nucleation of nanowire growth . even for the deposition of a large amount of indium and inas on the samples , no substantial growth on the sio2 mask layer was found .
this could be connected to a very short time which the indium ad - atoms remain on the layer before they desorb again , or it could also be connected to a certain transparency of the mask layer for indium ( such an effect was found in ref . ) leading to a transport of indium inside this layer , separating it from the ash3 and by that preventing any growth on the layer .
unfortunately our experiments do not allow to clearly identify why no indium droplets on the sio2 mask form and nucleate nanowire growth and why no inas layer growth can be observed on the sio2 surface .
the use of position controlled growth in such a case can lead to a merging of wires .
if this is to be prevented , the growth time has to be decreased , or the distance between the openings increased .
7 shows an example , for an extended growth time which led to nanowire coalescence .
several features of such merged structures are quite striking . in most cases two wires that meet
as the particle on top of the longer wire is not affected , this wire continues growth without any change in its cross section .
for the shorter wire , however , the indium particle will wet the side facets of the longer wire .
this deforms the in seed particle on top of the shorter wire , which leads to a deformed cross section of the following axial growth of the shorter nanowire .
7 marked by the circle ii , where two nanowires of similar lengths have merged .
our interpretation is that at some stage during growth the indium seed particles have merged , leading to growth of one nanowire with an elongated hexagon as cross - section under a single particle .
next we consider the grooves created by the merging of the wires due to their cross section . at the point where two nanowires merge ,
it is reasonable to assume , that due to the deformation of one or both indium particles , from that point on the groove is directly filled by the axial wire growth .
the high curvature of the surface just below the point when two wires have merged promotes nucleation .
this leads to an increased growth speed for the downward filling of the grooves between merged nanowires , whereby a sharp step in the groove is formed , as shown in circle iii of fig .
we expect these two effects , particle deformation and preferential filling of the grooves , to lead to the observed shape of the nanowire side facets for merged nanowires .
the set of experiments performed in this work clearly demonstrates three properties of self - seeded nanowire growth on pre - patterned substrates:(i)inas nanowire growth under the used parameters is due to self - seeded particle assisted growth based on indium particles .(ii)there is an optimum indium particle size range for nanowire nucleation ; indium particles outside of this range do not lead to nanowire growth under the growth conditions studied here.(iii)the sio2 mask used in this work restricts indium particle movement , leading to small indium droplets and nanowire growth in small openings ( < 500 nm ) and large indium droplets and crystallite formation in large openings ( > 1m ) .
the observations strongly indicate that the nanowires are nucleated by a liquid indium particle and contradict the case of selective area growth.in summary we have shown that holes in a sio2 mask act not only as the position control for inas nanowire growth , but also as a control for the nucleating seed particle size . in too large openings , where ripening effects and merging of indium particles can occur , nanowire growth is not observed and crystallites are grown
. moreover , characterization of the nanowire dimensions shows that these are not determined by the opening size but mainly by the growth time .
furthermore , changes in the wire morphology for merging of pairs of nanowires was demonstrated .
the present work shows that for self - seeded nanowire growth a certain range of optimal particle dimension exists which makes nanowire growth possible .
inas nanowire growth under the used parameters is due to self - seeded particle assisted growth based on indium particles .
there is an optimum indium particle size range for nanowire nucleation ; indium particles outside of this range do not lead to nanowire growth under the growth conditions studied here .
the sio2 mask used in this work restricts indium particle movement , leading to small indium droplets and nanowire growth in small openings ( < 500 nm ) and large indium droplets and crystallite formation in large openings ( > 1m ) .
the observations strongly indicate that the nanowires are nucleated by a liquid indium particle and contradict the case of selective area growth . | pubmed |
1) Using teeth as tools. At one point or another we are all faced with a plastic bag that refuses to open or a piece of string that needs cutting. The temptation to use your teeth as a tool may be great, but it is dangerous.
Your teeth have been designed by evolution to bite, chew and grind food. And, of course, to smile! While they can handle the toughest foods, they are not meant to be used to replace tools. The forces applied by using teeth as tools can greatly increase the chances of suffering a chip, fracture, or even worse complications.
Don't use your teeth as a tool, take the extra time to go to your tool drawer or box and get the proper tool!
2) Dangerous chewing. Many people nibble on foreign including pencils and pens. Biting fingernails and crunching ice is also quite common. Here at EK Dental Surgery our team of dental professionals always warn our patients about the dangers of giving in to these bad habits as they can chip or fracture a tooth. It's also possible for a piece of a foreign object to break off and puncture your gums, or get painfully stuck between your teeth.
If you have to chew, chew sugar-free gum!
3) Cardiovascular exercise. A new German study suggests that long cardio workouts may take a toll on your teeth. Exercise reduces saliva, which is filled with minerals that nurture your teeth and neutralise acids that cause rotting. Consumption of acidic sports drinks during training can also exacerbate tooth decay. Chewing sugar-free gum during your work-out will boost your saliva production.
4) Weightlifting. Jaw-clenching is a common reaction to lifting weights, but such pressure can harm your teeth, even cause them to crack. The practice could also lead to jaw pain.
Consider wearing a mouth-guard, which can be easily purchased at a pharmacy or sports store. You could even have your dentist make a custom gear for you.
5) Contact sports. When Jeff Horn won the WBO Welterweight Championship, EK Dental Surgery joined all of Australia in congratulating him, but we made special note of how his custom-made mouth-guard meant that he could celebrate his win with a big smile. If you are going to practice any contact sport, follow Jeff Horn's example and wear a custom-fitted mouthpiece to protect your teeth and jaw!
Can "Dental Health" Harm Your Dental Health?
6) Brushing after meals. Many people are surprised to learn that brushing immediately after a meal can harm their teeth. Acids created by food can wear away protective enamel leaving teeth at their weakest state directly after eating.
Saliva corrects the high acid levels in your mouth, naturally washes away food particles, and gives your enamel the balance it needs to continue its protective work. Even soft-bristled toothbrushes can be highly abrasive if enamel is already weakened by high acid levels. It's best to let saliva do its job after you eat. But don't forget to brush altogether. Just wait at least an hour after your meal before brushing.
7) Brushing too hard. Overly harsh brushing can cause wear and tear on your teeth, weakening the enamel and making it more prone to decay. Your teeth can also become more sensitive as a result.
Brushing too hard can also contribute to gum disease. Your gum tissue can become inflamed and damaged, and oral bacteria can target it. As periodontal disease progresses, the symptoms become more severe, such as tooth and bone loss, which could necessitate oral surgery. Brushing too hard can even cause gum recession, which could require a gum graft to replace the missing tissue.
To avoid such consequences, you should check with us at EK Dental Surgery for a refresher course on good brushing technique. Also, don't use a toothbrush with too-hard bristles, or consider moving to an electric toothbrush.
At EK Dental Surgery your oral health is important to us. We provide gentle, expert care for all conditions and work to prevent disease, decay, and too many dentist appointments in the future. Our commitment to our patients is dental health for Valentine's Day and beyond! | slim_pajama |
We will be closed from Apr.28th-May 6th due to public holidays.
Inquiries during this period will be answered when we come back on May 7th onwards.
We appreciate your kind understanding and cooperation in advance.
◆For the following 2 items, there was a change in vintage.
"SAKURA" Japan Women's Wine Awards 2019 Entry Start!! | slim_pajama |
Using photometric quantities for determination of intensity of laser light
I would like to measure the intensity of a laser beam after it has passed through a translucent material. However, the sensor that I am using returns values in lux, which reflects the subjective perception of the human eye to light of different wavelengths. Is laser light monochromatic enough that it is possible to use the lux values as a measure of the light intensity?
Additionally, despite (or perhaps beacuse of) reading the following pages ([1](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_intensity),[2](http://www.crompton.com/light/)), I am still rather confused about what the term "intensity" means in the context of laser light. The unit lux is equivalent to lumen per square meter, yet intensity units seem to be given in terms of solid angle. However, I would think that this must be different for lasers, given that the beam is collimated.
I have seem the following units given for intensity:
* W/sr
* cd (lm/sr)
* W/$\mathrm{m^2}$
* W/(sr $\mathrm{m^2}$)
Which of these is correct, and am I justified in using lux?
Any unit involving solid angle (steradians) is usable but not helpful here since they are tailored to characterise radiation emitters, meanwhile you are just trying to measure received radiation some arbitrary distance away from a light source.
You can stick with Lux for your purposes. There is no problem with describing received monochromatic light in terms of lumens (well, as long as the light is in the visible range). If you want to convert your Lux measurements into W/m² you can use a luminous efficacy table.
[Table of Luminous Efficacy](http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/vision/efficacy.html#c1)
| stackexchange/physics |
Dimensionless vs. dimensional RG-Flow equations
When one writes down RG-Flow equations for any theory, at some point one encounters statements like
>
> "It is useful to properly rescale the above exact flow equations and rewrite them in dimensionless form."
>
>
>
or
>
> "The rescaled form of the RG-Flow equations is also most convenient to discuss fixed points."
>
>
>
or
>
> "The advantage of working with the rescaled flow equations is that we can directly read off the canonical dimensions of the couplings and thus classify all couplings according to their relevance w.r.t. a given fixed point."
>
>
>
(These sentences are more or less literally from the Kopietz-book.)
I don't really understand this logic; I don't really understand why one has to go to dimensionless flow-equations; Can't I just calculate the critical exponents (by diagonalizing the stability matrix and reading off it's eigenvalues, assuming that this is possible) for the RG-flow equations of the dimensional couplings?
An explanation that I could deal with is, that it is just an *standard-fact that has been verified experimentally* that the only "interesting" critical exponents are those, that come with the flow-equations of the dimension*less* couplings.
Can anybody elaborate a good explanation please?
EDIT:
An example for dimensional flow equations:
$$
\left\{ \,
\begin{aligned}
\frac{ \mathrm{d} }{ \mathrm{d} \Lambda } \gamma\_{1} \quad & \approx \quad 0 \\
\frac{ \mathrm{d} }{ \mathrm{d} \Lambda } \gamma\_{2} \quad & \approx \quad 0 \\
\frac{ \mathrm{d} }{ \mathrm{d} \Lambda } \gamma\_{3} \quad & \approx \quad + {\gamma}\_{1} \cdot \left( 4 \, D\_{ \Lambda } \right) \cdot {\gamma}\_{2} \\
\frac{ \mathrm{d} }{ \mathrm{d} \Lambda } \gamma\_{4} \quad & \approx \quad + {\gamma}\_{2} \cdot \left( -16 \, D\_{ \Lambda } \right) \cdot {\gamma}\_{4}
\end{aligned}
\right.
$$
An example for dimension*less* flow equations:
$$
\left\{ \,
\begin{aligned}
\beta\_{1} ( \tilde{\gamma}\_{1} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{2} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{3} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{4}) \quad & \approx \quad - 2 \tilde{\gamma}\_{1} / \Lambda \\
\beta\_{2} ( \tilde{\gamma}\_{1} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{2} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{3} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{4}) \quad & \approx \quad - 2 \tilde{\gamma}\_{2} / \Lambda \\
\beta\_{3} ( \tilde{\gamma}\_{1} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{2} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{3} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{4}) \quad & \approx \quad - 2 \tilde{\gamma}\_{3} / \Lambda + \tilde{\gamma}\_{1} \cdot \left( 4 \, D\_{ \Lambda } \, \Lambda^2 \right) \cdot \tilde{\gamma}\_{2} \\
\beta\_{4} ( \tilde{\gamma}\_{1} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{2} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{3} , \tilde{\gamma}\_{4}) \quad & \approx \quad - 2 \tilde{\gamma}\_{4} / \Lambda + \tilde{\gamma}\_{2} \cdot \left( -16 \, D\_{ \Lambda } \, \Lambda^2 \right) \cdot \tilde{\gamma}\_{4}
\end{aligned}
\right.
$$
where $D\_{ \Lambda }$ is the dominant contribution for the flow of the couplings; Mode-elimination (in the FRG, analog to Wilson's RG) corresponds to decreasing $\Lambda$ from $\Lambda = \infty$ to $\Lambda = 0$ and $\tilde{\gamma }\_{ \bullet } = \gamma\_{ \bullet } / \Lambda^2$
I will limit my answer to the situation in Wilson's RG approach with the functional renormalization group (FRG) as explicit implementation. Lets begin with an obvious observation: considering a set the flow equation of the couplings $\{\lambda\_i\}$
$$
\partial\_k\lambda\_i(k)=\mathrm{Flow}\_i(k,\{\lambda\_i(k)\}),\tag{1}
$$
where $k$ denotes the RG scale ($\Lambda$ in Antihero question) and $\mathrm{Flow}\_i(k,\{\lambda\_i\})$ is a not further specified function which depends on RG scale and all couplings. Let $\lambda\_i$ be of dimension $d\_i$ which gives rise to the dimensionless coupling $\bar\lambda\_i(k)\equiv \lambda\_i(k)/k^{d\_i}$. Inserting the definition of the dimensionless coupling into Eq. (1) yields
$$
k\,\partial\_k \bar\lambda\_i(t)= -d\, \bar\lambda\_i(k)+k^{1-d}\,\mathrm{Flow}\_i(k,\{k^{d\_i}\bar\lambda\_i(k)\}),\tag{2}
$$
where we multiplied both sides with $k^{1-d}$. For convenience we introduce "RG time" as the dimensionless parameter $t\equiv\ln(k/\Lambda)$, with an at the moment arbitrary reference scale $\Lambda$. With $\partial t/\partial k=1/k$ we rewrite Eqs. (1) and (2):
$$
\partial\_t\lambda\_i(t) = k\,\mathrm{Flow}\_i(k,\{\lambda\_i(t)\})\equiv\,\mathrm{Flow}\_i(t,\{\lambda\_i(t)\})\tag{4}
$$
$$
\partial\_t \bar\lambda\_i(t) = -d\, \lambda\_i(k)k^{-d}+k^{-d}\,\mathrm{Flow}\_i(t,\{\lambda\_i(t)\})=-d\bar\lambda\_i(t)+\mathrm{Flow}\_i'(t,\{\bar\lambda\_i(t)\}).\tag{5}
$$
Now to the aforementioned observation: demanding $\partial\_t\lambda\_i(t)=0$ for a "fixed" point or demanding $\partial\_t\bar\lambda\_i(t)=0$ for a fixed point are two completely different requirements/definitions of fixed points since:
$$
0\stackrel{!}{=}\mathrm{Flow}\_i(t,\{\lambda\_i(t)\})\neq -d\, \lambda\_i(k)k^{-d}+k^{-d}\,\mathrm{Flow}\_i(t,\{\lambda\_i(t)\})\stackrel{!}{=}0.
$$
$\bar\lambda\_i(t)$ carries a canonical running based on the dimension of the coupling $\lambda\_i(t)$, see also the related question ["Are fixed points of RG evolution really scale-invariant?"](https://physics.stackexchange.com/q/360989/120730). In Literature RG fixed points are usually refereed to as fixed points ($\partial\_t\bar\lambda\_i(t)=0$) of the dimensionless couplings $\{\bar\lambda\_i(t)\}$. In connection to the classical picture of Wilson's RG these dimensionless couplings stay constant at a fixed point under RG transformations which include a change in scale ($k$ or equivalently $t$)/mode elimination, a rescaling of momenta, and a rescaling of fields. The latter two properties might require the inclusion of the anomalous dimension of the fields of the theory which modify the canonical scaling on the r.h.s of (5): $-d\rightarrow -d +\eta\_{\lambda\_i}$ with $\eta\_{\lambda\_i}$ as a sum of field anomalous dimensions $\eta\_i=-(\partial\_t Z\_{\phi\_i})/Z\_{\phi\_i}$. The r.h.s of Eq. (5) with $\mathrm{Flow}\_i'(\ldots)$ is then completely independent of $t$ and $k$, which means a fixed point solution $\{\bar{\lambda}\_i^\*\}$ with $\forall i \ \partial\_t\bar{\lambda}\_i^\*=0$ naturally holds at all scales $k$ -- which is a defining property in the canonical notion of RG fixed points.
"Fixed" points with $\partial\_t{\lambda}\_i=0$ are associated with a scale $k^\*$ and are not scale-independent (since the r.h.s. of Eq. (1) or equivalently (4) depends on the scale). In the sense of invariance under RG transformations at all scales it does not sense to discuss solutions of $\partial\_t{\lambda}\_i=0$. Fixed points of $\partial\_t\bar\lambda\_i(t)=0$ are very important in understanding theories and their RG flows. I would rephrase the second quote of the original question
>
> The rescaled form of the RG-Flow equations is used to define and discuss specific fixed points (scale invariant solutions of the RG flow equations).
>
>
>
Coming to the first quote and the comment of bbrink I again rephrase
>
> For certain applications it is useful to rescale the above exact flow equations and rewrite them in dimensionless form.
>
>
>
There is more to (quantum) field theories than fixed points (using the canonical notion). While they are undoubtedly very important they are not the only aspect of interest. For certain applications especially involving numerical solutions of explicit systems of flow equations it can be quite disadvantageous to compute in dimensionless couplings by pulling out the canonical scaling.
Regarding "fixed" points of (1) and equivalently (4): these flow equations have "fixed"/stationary points at certain scales/couplings. I strongly disagree with bbrink's comment. The construction principle of the functional renormalization group (as an exact implementation of Wilson's RG approach) is based on such a stationary points/the associated couplings and scales: the (F)RG flow is initialized at a for a given theory asymptotically large scale $\Lambda$ (for certain theories $\Lambda\rightarrow\infty$ is considered). This scale has to be larger than all internal and external scales which means that quantum fluctuations above the scale are not relevant for the theory and the theory can be considered classical at $\Lambda$, meaning that we can initialize the RG flow for the effective average action with the classical action of the theory (potentially including gauge-fixing or anomaly related terms). One way to quantity the scale $\Lambda$ for a theory specified at $\Lambda$ (with, e.g., a set of couplings $\{\lambda\_i(k=\Lambda)\}$) is to require $\partial\_k\lambda\_i(k)|\_{k=\Lambda}\stackrel{!}{=}0$ or at least $\approx 0$ to a sufficient degree. This requirement is refereed to in FRG literature as "RG consistency". Some theories additionally have $\partial\_k\lambda\_i(k)=0$ or $\approx 0$ when approaching the infrared/small $k$. It is true that the RG and also FRG have an inherent diffusive character but this does not mean the absence of "fixed"/stationary points in $\{\lambda\_i(k)\}$. The argument given by bbrink in his comment about the absence of fixed point solutions in the heat equation $\partial\_t c(t,x)=\partial\_{xx}c(t,x)$ is wrong: $c(x)=a+m x$ for arbitrary constants $a$ and $m$ is a fixed point solution due to its vanishing second derivative. In that regard fixed points of $\partial\_t c(t,x)$ are "thermal" equilibrium solutions while fixed points of the rescaled equation resemble steady state solutions. This might in fact be a good picture for the RG fixed points of $\{\lambda\_i(t)\}$ and $\{\bar\lambda\_i(t)\}$. RG flows can often be understood and discussed using such fluid dynamic notions. (The people who formulated the (F)RG did not call the underlying equations "flow" equations for no reason).
Coming to the last quote:
>
> "The advantage of working with the rescaled flow equations is that we can directly read off the canonical dimensions of the couplings and thus classify all couplings according to their relevance w.r.t. a given fixed point."
>
>
>
One can classify directions in the space of couplings $\{\bar\lambda\_i(t)\}$ by inearizing Eq. (5) around the fixed point using
$$
\bar\lambda\_i(t)=\bar\lambda\_i^\*+\delta\bar\lambda\_i(t) \Rightarrow \partial\_t\bar\lambda\_i(t) = B\_{i,j}\delta\bar\lambda\_i(t)+O(\delta\bar\lambda\_i(t)^2),\tag{6}
$$
where we used the fact that at the fixed point the flows/beta functions vanish. Computing the eigenvalues $b\_i$ of the stability matrix w.r.t. normalized eigenvectors one may classify directions/couplings: $b\_i<0$ is UV attractive/IR repulsive, $b\_i>0$ is UV repulsive/IR attractive, and $b\_i=0$ is a marginal direction. This might be meant by "relevance w.r.t. a given fixed point" but if that is the case the choice of the word "relevance" is quite poor since the canonical notion of relevant, irrelevant and marginal couplings during RG flow is not directly relate to the notion of UV repulsive/IR attractive and flow around a fixed point (I think but maybe I am wrong on this one). The canonical dimensions are needed for a proper rescaling. In the spirit of what comes first: starting a dimensionful flow eq. one needs to figure out the canonical dimensions (dimensional analysis and proper additions of $\eta\_i$) to formulate the dimensionless flow equation.
I hope this answer helps in understanding the differences in the flow equations of $\{\bar\lambda\_i\}$ and $\{\lambda\_i\}$. I however have to admit that I am no expert when it comes to fixed points in the (F)RG: I usually work with dimensionful couplings $\{\lambda\_i\}$ and my limited knowledge of fixed points/dimensionless flows comes from lecture notes and talks and not from practical experience (which at least for me is somewhat necessary to really understand this kind of stuff). For an explicit but relatively simple application I would recommend looking for FRG discussions of the O(N) model specifically (but not necessarily exclusively) in the infinite-N limit, see, e.g., the papers ["Critical O(N) models in the complex field plane"](https://arxiv.org/abs/1607.02030) and ["Critical exponents from optimised renormalisation group flows"](https://arxiv.org/abs/hep-th/0203006v2), where the r.h.s. of the flow equation is known exactly without truncations in a simple and closed form. Allowing for relatively simple computations of critical points and related quantites.
| stackexchange/physics |
Difference between dielectric constant and dielectric function
I'm confused by the definition of [dielectric constant](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relative_permittivity). We all know that dielectric is function of wavelength, because materials respond in different ways depending on the energy of the light. But what does it mean when it says
>
> *Dielectric constant of a material is = 5.* ?
>
>
>
Dielectric constant is a measure of how a material responds to an electric field, particularly how much separation of charge occurs.
Simplistically, electrons can be thought of as bound to nuclei with springs. Or perhaps positive and negative ions bound with springs. An electric field pushes positive and negative charges in opposite directions.
The dielectric constant is a measure of the spring constant. A material with a large dielectric constant is made of "stretchy" atoms or molecules.
Given a parallel plate capacitor, the capacitance depends on the distance between the plates. Inserting a dielectric effectively adds plates, reducing the separation.
```
Capacitor Dielectric
+++++++++++++++
+- +- +- +- +-
+- +- +- +- +-
---------------
Capacitor with dielectric
+++++++++++++++
- - - - -
+ + + + +
- - - - -
+ + + + +
---------------
```
The effect of an oscillating electric field depends on frequency. Masses and springs have resonances. The dielectric constant is large near resonance frequencies. So you can learn things about atomic bonds from the dielectric constant.
Dielectric constant is a complex number. It is a function of state variables, electric field, frequency, temperature, pressure, mechanical stress, etc. Because of this the value listed in a data sheet should indicate the condition of measurement. Usually it is measured at 1kHz because on inexpensive meters available performing measurement at this frequency.
It means that when this slab is introduced in a capacitor(covering it fully), its capacitance increases by a factor of 5.
When one reads a statement, " dielectric constant of SiO2 is 5" It is the response of SiO2 to a dc electric field, which is normally measured like a capacitor.
But then you probe the material with light (varying electric field) We get the ac response, like an elipsometery measurement
You can speak of a dielectric constant when the dielectric function is approximately constant for the given range of interest. Some materials, like air, have a slowly varying function with the wavelength; in that case, you can consider it constant.
Also, if your problem involves a fixed wavelength (say, you consider the influence of a laser on a material), then naturally you can also speak of a dielectric constant.
| stackexchange/physics |
gastrointestinal cancer is a common digestive system tumor , accounting for 30% of the global incidence and 40% of the global malignant tumor mortality . tumor recurrence and metastases
therefore , prognostic and predictive factors are urgently needed for a better - personalized treatment . circulating tumor cells ( ctcs )
ctcs can be released from a primary site through the bloodstream to the distant organs , contributing to metastasis .
previous studies reported that the presence of ctcs was directly related to the prognosis of patients with metastatic breast cancer .
the detection of ctcs in the blood requires highly sensitive , specific , and reproducible methods . to date
, several methods including immunocytochemistry , real - time reverse transcription - polymerase chain reaction ( pcr ) , and flow cytometry have been used for the detection of these rare ctcs in the peripheral blood .
cytokeratin-19 ( ck19 ) is a cytoskeletal protein that is expressed on epithelial but not on mesenchymal cells .
it is the most commonly used marker for ctcs . to the best of our knowledge ,
not all ctcs arrive at a secondary site and develop into metastases . if ctcs proliferate , it is likely that they will develop into metastases , but if they do not , they are cleared from the blood , can not be detected , and will not develop into metastases . thymidine kinase-1 ( tk1 )
is internationally recognized as a marker of abnormal cell proliferation , which enables the dynamic monitoring of the proliferation of cancer cells and can indicate tumor recurrence and metastasis .
tk1 is usually detected using a chemiluminescence dot blot assay . to the best of our knowledge
, rare studies have yet reported on the expression of both ck19 and tk1 in gastrointestinal cancer . in the present study , we used quantitative real - time pcr and chemiluminescence dot blot assay methods to specifically quantify the expression levels of ck19 and tk1 , respectively , in the peripheral blood , and followed up patients with recurrence and death , to explore the clinical value and application of ck19 and tk1 as prognostic indicators of gastrointestinal cancer .
this study was approved by the research ethics committee of the first affiliated hospital of anhui medical university . written informed consent was obtained from all of the patients .
a total of 171 patients with advanced gastrointestinal cancer attending the department of oncology of the first affiliated hospital of anhui medical university from may 2013 to january 2014 were enrolled in this study .
none of the patients had received any treatment before the sample collection , including surgery , radiotherapy , or chemotherapy .
all cases were pathologically confirmed as gastrointestinal cancer , and no patients had a history of any other type of cancers .
there were 112 male and 59 female patients with a mean age of 59 years ( range : 2386 years ) .
the gastrointestinal cancer specimens originated from esophageal cancer ( n = 23 ) , gastric cancer ( n = 90 ) , colorectal cancer ( n = 31 ) , and rectal cancer ( n = 27 ) .
a total of fifty healthy people without a history of other systemic diseases , consisting of graduate students and staff of the first affiliated hospital of anhui medical university , served as controls .
characteristics of enrolled patients with advanced gastrointestinal cancer pretreatment fasting blood samples were collected from the peripheral vein into ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid - containing tubes .
blood was transferred into a 10 ml centrifuge tube and centrifuged at 10,000 g at room temperature for 10 min . the plasma was removed , and the peripheral blood mononuclear cell ( pbmc ) fraction was stored at 80c for future use .
the ck19 mrna assay was performed using a nucleic acid detection kit , based on the pcr fluorescence probe method ( pu yuan biotech ltd . ,
total rna from the pbmc fraction was extracted using trizol reagent ( invitrogen , usa ) according to the manufacturer 's protocol .
the rna was pretreated with rnaase - free dnase and 2 g of rna from each sample was used for cdna synthesis with random hexamers .
the pcr assay conditions and the primers for ck19 have also been described in detail previously .
the following primers were used : ck19 , forward : 5-gaa atc agt acg ctg agg gg-3 and reverse : 5-ccg gct ggt gaa cca ggc tt-3 and glyceraldehyde-3-phosphate dehydrogenase , forward : 5-gaa ggt gaa ggt cgg agt ca-3 and reverse : 5-ttg agg tca
atg aag ggg tc-3. pcr reactions were performed in an abi prism 7700 sequence detector ( perkin elmer / applied biosystems , ca , usa ) .
pcr amplifications were performed in a total volume of 50 l consisting of 5 l of template cdna and 15 l of pcr master mixture containing tag dna polymerase , dntp mixture , and reaction buffer .
cycling conditions were 5 min at 95c for initial denaturation , followed by 45 cycles of 15 s at 95c for denaturation , 60 s at 60c for combined annealing , and 15 s at 72c for primer extension .
tk1 protein levels were detected in 96 patients ( some of the patients refused to have the test ) and the healthy controls .
the tk1 assay was performed using a commercial kit , based on an enhanced chemiluminescence dot blot assay ( huarui tongkang bio - tech ltd . ,
varying concentrations of tk1-peptide ( 20.0 , 6.6 and 2.2 pmol / l ) were used as an extrapolation standard .
the spot intensities on the membrane were determined using a cis - l imaging system ( huarui tongkang bio - tech ltd . ,
from the intensities of the tk1 standard , the tk1 concentrations were calculated and expressed as pmol / l . the coefficient of variation was < 10% .
tk1 values of < 2.0 pmol / l were defined as negative and considered as a lower risk for developing malignancy .
tk1 values of > 2.0 pmol / l were defined as positive and likely to represent individuals with an increased risk of premalignancy / malignancy progression .
the follow - up information was obtained from the medical records of the clinic and by telephone or written contact with the patients .
the follow - up period was from the date of diagnosis to death or the last follow - up contact .
differences in expression of ck19 mrna and tk1 protein according to different clinicopathological characteristics were analyzed using the chi - square test .
overall survival ( os ) was analyzed using the kaplan - meier method , and differences were examined using the log - rank test .
this study was approved by the research ethics committee of the first affiliated hospital of anhui medical university . written informed consent was obtained from all of the patients .
a total of 171 patients with advanced gastrointestinal cancer attending the department of oncology of the first affiliated hospital of anhui medical university from may 2013 to january 2014 were enrolled in this study .
none of the patients had received any treatment before the sample collection , including surgery , radiotherapy , or chemotherapy .
all cases were pathologically confirmed as gastrointestinal cancer , and no patients had a history of any other type of cancers .
there were 112 male and 59 female patients with a mean age of 59 years ( range : 2386 years ) .
the gastrointestinal cancer specimens originated from esophageal cancer ( n = 23 ) , gastric cancer ( n = 90 ) , colorectal cancer ( n = 31 ) , and rectal cancer ( n = 27 ) .
a total of fifty healthy people without a history of other systemic diseases , consisting of graduate students and staff of the first affiliated hospital of anhui medical university , served as controls .
pretreatment fasting blood samples were collected from the peripheral vein into ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid - containing tubes . the first 3 ml of blood was discarded to prevent the epidermal contamination .
blood was transferred into a 10 ml centrifuge tube and centrifuged at 10,000 g at room temperature for 10 min . the plasma was removed , and the peripheral blood mononuclear cell ( pbmc ) fraction was stored at 80c for future use .
the ck19 mrna assay was performed using a nucleic acid detection kit , based on the pcr fluorescence probe method ( pu yuan biotech ltd . ,
total rna from the pbmc fraction was extracted using trizol reagent ( invitrogen , usa ) according to the manufacturer 's protocol .
the rna was pretreated with rnaase - free dnase and 2 g of rna from each sample was used for cdna synthesis with random hexamers .
the pcr assay conditions and the primers for ck19 have also been described in detail previously .
the following primers were used : ck19 , forward : 5-gaa atc agt acg ctg agg gg-3 and reverse : 5-ccg gct ggt gaa cca ggc tt-3 and glyceraldehyde-3-phosphate dehydrogenase , forward : 5-gaa ggt gaa ggt cgg agt ca-3 and reverse : 5-ttg agg tca
atg aag ggg tc-3. pcr reactions were performed in an abi prism 7700 sequence detector ( perkin elmer / applied biosystems , ca , usa ) .
pcr amplifications were performed in a total volume of 50 l consisting of 5 l of template cdna and 15 l of pcr master mixture containing tag dna polymerase , dntp mixture , and reaction buffer .
cycling conditions were 5 min at 95c for initial denaturation , followed by 45 cycles of 15 s at 95c for denaturation , 60 s at 60c for combined annealing , and 15 s at 72c for primer extension .
tk1 protein levels were detected in 96 patients ( some of the patients refused to have the test ) and the healthy controls .
the tk1 assay was performed using a commercial kit , based on an enhanced chemiluminescence dot blot assay ( huarui tongkang bio - tech ltd . ,
the spot intensities on the membrane were determined using a cis - l imaging system ( huarui tongkang bio - tech ltd . ,
tk1 values of < 2.0 pmol / l were defined as negative and considered as a lower risk for developing malignancy .
tk1 values of > 2.0 pmol / l were defined as positive and likely to represent individuals with an increased risk of premalignancy / malignancy progression .
the follow - up information was obtained from the medical records of the clinic and by telephone or written contact with the patients .
the follow - up period was from the date of diagnosis to death or the last follow - up contact .
differences in expression of ck19 mrna and tk1 protein according to different clinicopathological characteristics were analyzed using the chi - square test .
overall survival ( os ) was analyzed using the kaplan - meier method , and differences were examined using the log - rank test .
we first examined expression levels of ck19 mrna in 171 patients with gastrointestinal cancer by real - time pcr .
seventy four ( 43.3% ) of the 171 patients were found to be positive for ck19 mrna .
the positive rate of ck19 mrna in healthy patients was significantly lower than that in samples from the advanced gastrointestinal cancer patients ( p < 0.001 ) .
ck19 mrna was observed in 39.1% of esophageal cancers ( 9/23 ) , 40.0% of gastric cancers ( 36/90 ) , 51.6% of colon cancers ( 16/31 ) , and 48.1% of rectal cancers ( 13/27 ) . among the 171 patients , 26.8% of male patients ( 30/112 ) and 74.6% of female patients ( 44/59 ) were positive for ck19 mrna .
we next examined tk1 protein expression in 96 patients with gastrointestinal cancer by chemiluminescence dot blot assay .
tk1 expression was observed in 81.8% of esophageal cancers ( 9/11 ) , 74.5% of gastric cancers ( 38/51 ) , and 55.9% of colorectal cancers ( 19/34 ) .
both tk1 protein and ck19 mrna were detected in 36 ( 37.5% ) of the 96 patients .
fifteen ( 15.6% ) of the 96 patients were tk1 protein - negative and ck19 mrna - positive .
the association of ck19 mrna expression with os in patients with gastrointestinal cancer was analyzed using the kaplan - meier method [ figure 1 ] .
the results indicated that patients with positive ck19 mrna expression had significantly shorter os times than those who were negative for ck19 mrna expression ( median os 7.7 vs. 9.7 months , respectively ; p = 0.02 ) .
kaplan - meier survival curves of patients with positive or negative expression of ck19 mrna .
patients who were positive for ck19 mrna and tk1 protein expression had significantly shorter os times than patients who were positive for ck19 mrna and negative for tk1 protein expression .
accordingly , patients who were positive for ck19 mrna and tk1 protein expression had shorter os times than those who were positive for ck19 mrna and negative for tk1 protein expression ( median os 6.1 vs. 9.1 months , respectively ; p = 0.028 ; figure 2 ) .
kaplan - meier survival curves of patients with ck19 mrna positive and tk1 protein positive or ck19 mrna positive but tk1 protein negative .
positive ck19 mrna expression was significantly associated with unfavorable outcomes ( p = 0.027 ) , and ck19 mrna associated with tk1 was significantly related to os ( p = 0.031 ) .
based on a multivariate cox regression analysis , ck19 mrna together with tk1 protein expression ( p = 0.024 ) was an independent predictor for os in gastrointestinal cancer patients [ table 2 ] .
multivariate analysis for overall survival in patients with advanced gastrointestinal cancer ( n = 96 ) ck19 : cytokeratin-19 ; tk1 : thymidine kinase-1 ; ci : confidence interval ; hr : hazard ratio .
we first examined expression levels of ck19 mrna in 171 patients with gastrointestinal cancer by real - time pcr .
seventy four ( 43.3% ) of the 171 patients were found to be positive for ck19 mrna .
the positive rate of ck19 mrna in healthy patients was significantly lower than that in samples from the advanced gastrointestinal cancer patients ( p < 0.001 ) .
ck19 mrna was observed in 39.1% of esophageal cancers ( 9/23 ) , 40.0% of gastric cancers ( 36/90 ) , 51.6% of colon cancers ( 16/31 ) , and 48.1% of rectal cancers ( 13/27 ) . among the 171 patients , 26.8% of male patients ( 30/112 ) and 74.6% of female patients ( 44/59 ) were positive for ck19 mrna .
we next examined tk1 protein expression in 96 patients with gastrointestinal cancer by chemiluminescence dot blot assay .
tk1 expression was observed in 81.8% of esophageal cancers ( 9/11 ) , 74.5% of gastric cancers ( 38/51 ) , and 55.9% of colorectal cancers ( 19/34 ) .
both tk1 protein and ck19 mrna were detected in 36 ( 37.5% ) of the 96 patients .
fifteen ( 15.6% ) of the 96 patients were tk1 protein - negative and ck19 mrna - positive .
the association of ck19 mrna expression with os in patients with gastrointestinal cancer was analyzed using the kaplan - meier method [ figure 1 ] .
the results indicated that patients with positive ck19 mrna expression had significantly shorter os times than those who were negative for ck19 mrna expression ( median os 7.7 vs. 9.7 months , respectively ; p = 0.02 ) .
kaplan - meier survival curves of patients with positive or negative expression of ck19 mrna .
patients who were positive for ck19 mrna and tk1 protein expression had significantly shorter os times than patients who were positive for ck19 mrna and negative for tk1 protein expression .
accordingly , patients who were positive for ck19 mrna and tk1 protein expression had shorter os times than those who were positive for ck19 mrna and negative for tk1 protein expression ( median os 6.1 vs. 9.1 months , respectively ; p = 0.028 ; figure 2 ) . kaplan - meier survival curves of patients with ck19 mrna positive and tk1 protein positive or ck19 mrna positive but tk1 protein negative .
in the univariate analysis , positive ck19 mrna expression was significantly associated with unfavorable outcomes ( p = 0.027 ) , and ck19 mrna associated with tk1 was significantly related to os ( p = 0.031 ) .
based on a multivariate cox regression analysis , ck19 mrna together with tk1 protein expression ( p = 0.024 ) was an independent predictor for os in gastrointestinal cancer patients [ table 2 ] .
multivariate analysis for overall survival in patients with advanced gastrointestinal cancer ( n = 96 ) ck19 : cytokeratin-19 ; tk1 : thymidine kinase-1 ; ci : confidence interval ; hr : hazard ratio .
the presence of ctcs has been analyzed in breast and bladder cancer as has the presence of tk1 protein in breast and lung cancer .
however , the significance of ctcs and tk1 expression in the clinical setting and their prognostic value in gastrointestinal cancer has not yet been established .
therefore , the current study investigated whether ctcs were associated with tk1 in terms of protein levels and whether ctcs and tk1 levels had prognostic significance in patients with gastrointestinal cancer .
these cells might then intravasate into the blood or lymphatic circulation and subsequently extravasate from the circulation and establish a secondary tumor in another organ far from the primary tumor .
the detection of ctcs has been well demonstrated in breast , lung , colon , prostate , and bladder cancers , melanoma , and other malignancies .
although ctc detection can contribute to tumor diagnosis and help identify patients with advanced bladder cancer , such assays can not be used as initial screening diagnostic tests due to their low sensitivity .
pcr - based methods are commonly used , rapid , and low - cost methods for detecting ctcs .
the utility of ctcs as biomarkers for predicting the clinical outcomes of patients with various cancers has been revealed in many studies .
tk is a key enzyme in the pyrimidine salvage pathway , catalyzing the transfer of the terminal phosphate from adenosine triphosphate to the 5-hydroxyl group of thymidine , producing deoxyadenosine triphosphate , which is subsequently incorporated into dna .
there are two forms of cellular tk enzymes ; the cytoplasmic form , tk1 , and the mitochondrial form , tk2 .
tk2 is cell - cycle independent whereas the level of tk1 protein is tightly correlated with the s and g2 phases of the cell - cycle and thus to overall cell proliferation .
tk1 plays a role in regulating the intracellular thymidine pools throughout the cell - cycle but is probably also involved in the dna repair process . in proliferating normal cells and tumor cells ,
the synthesis of tk1 starts at the latter stage of the g1 phase and significantly increases until the late s and g2 phases .
tk1 in nonproliferating cells and in the serum of healthy people is minimal or undetectable .
tk1 also provides information on recurrence , on the 5-year survival of cancer patients and is useful for monitoring the outcome of tumor therapy in lung , rectal , breast , and cervical cancer patients .
thus , elevated tk1 is an important risk factor indicating a high tumor proliferation capacity , leading to shorter survival . in the study
, we revealed the frequency of ck19 and tk1 expression in patients with metastatic and recurrent gastrointestinal cancer . at the same time , we investigated the value of ck19 and tk1 as prognostic indicators of advanced gastrointestinal cancer .
ck19 mrna was observed in 74 ( 43.3% ) of all 171 advanced gastrointestinal cancer patients .
the results indicate that positive ck19 expression predicts poor os in patients with advanced gastrointestinal cancer ; however , that patients who are positive for ck19 but negative for tk1 might have a better prognosis . in other words ,
patients who are positive for both ck19 and tk1 expression have worse os than those who are positive for ck19 but negative for tk1 expression in advanced gastrointestinal cancer . in conclusion ,
co - expression of ck19 and tk1 might be crucial for the progression of tumors and , therefore , for the prognosis of patients with gastrointestinal cancer , indicating that the expression of these might be considered as independent prognostic markers .
more studies are urgently required to test the clinical utility of using ctcs and tk1 in liquid biopsies to contribute to personalized treatment strategies in gastrointestinal cancer . | pubmed |
Antonia Albert born is an Austrian business economist and entrepreneur. In 2015, she co-founded the startup Careship in Berlin, Germany as an online marketplace for in-home senior care. Albert helped raise $4 million in investor funding in 2017, and an additional $6 million in 2018. Careship has expanded to the state of North Rhine-Westphalia as well as the cities of Hamburg, Dusseldorf and Frankfurt.
Careship
When Albert's grandmother became sick in 2014, her family had great difficulty finding a suitable caregiver. In response, she co-founded the startup Careship with her brother Nikolaus Albert to create a virtual marketplace for in-home senior care. Careship uses an online matchmaking algorithm to connect families needing senior care with qualified self-employed caregivers. Caregivers can help with common tasks such as cooking, shopping and cleaning. On the platform, caregivers set their own price and Careship handles billing and coordinating insurance payments.
Albert and her brother raised $4 million in investor funding for Careship in 2017, and an additional $6 million in 2018. The marketplace was initially only offered in Berlin but has expanded to the state of North Rhine-Westphalia as well as the cities of Hamburg, Dusseldorf and Frankfurt. They would like to expand into Austria in 2018.
The business model used by Careship and similar services is controversial. Product testing organization Stiftung Warentest examined cleaning services in October 2014 and came to the conclusion that the service matched the online promise only in four out of ten cases.
Biography
Albert is from Vienna, Austria. She studied business administration in the Netherlands and Switzerland, receiving a BSc in International Business Administration in 2012 and a MSc in Strategic Management in 2013. Before co-founding Careship with her brother, she worked as a business economist for internet holding company Rocket Internet. Antonia was voted one of the 100 most Inspiring Women 2015 by BBC and was included on the 2018 Forbes 30 Under 30 list.
References
Category:Year of birth missing living people
Category:Living people
Category:Austrian women in business
Category:Austrian businesspeople
Category:BBC 100 Women | wikipedia |
Q: Opening an alert outside of the popup window in a Chrome Extension I have a Chrome extension I am writing where I have a button on the popup page, that when pressed should open an alert with a little help text for the user. I can get the alert to appear in the popup window by calling:
var button = document.getElementById("HelpMe");
button.addEvenListener("click", function(){
alert("HelpText");
});
But this opens the alert in the popup window, which puts it mostly offscreen. I want to make the alert appear in the main tab, which would put the alert right in the center of the screen.
I tried this:
var button = document.getElementById("HelpMe");
button.addEventListener("click", function(){
chrome.tabs.executeScript(null, {
code:`
alert("HelpText");
`
});
});
But it didn't seem to do anything, and I can't get any error messages or logs to appear that I have been able to find. Advice is appreciated.
| slim_pajama |
Sailor Moon New Sailor Moon's end
New Sailor Moon's end
I made this, that maybe some people will find less beautiful that the real one, because I wasn't really happy with it. So let's get back to the episode number 200, the last one, at the moment when the Star lights and their Princess are leaving Usagi and the others. They've just defeated Sailor Galaxia and everything's back to normal.
Seiya, after telling Mamoru to take care of Usagi, turn his side on them. Usagi is sad, she looks suddenly at Mamoru then at Seiya, Sailor Star Fighter, the one who helped her to defeat Galaxia… Without him she have lost the hope… At this moment, seeing her Prince and Seiya the Sailor Star at the same time, she understood.
She loved Seiya… but… she couldn't just run like this, Mamoru was her destiny, if she lost him, she would lost Chibiusa, and the beautiful world they would create in the 30th century… But, at this moment, Rei talked to her, like if she had read in her mind…
'Usagi, do what you think the best for you. Don't think about the future, it will be all right, maybe different, but if you don't do what your heart desire, it won't be the beautiful world we saw at all…
'But… Chibiusa… I can't do that to her…'
'Chibiusa will be, whatever you do Usagi' said Amy, as though she had wondered what they were talking about.
'Do what you're heart want!' said all her friends.
Mamoru looked at them, as though he had wondered, he looked at Seiya, then at Usagi, and said.
'Do what heart want, Usagi, and don't worry, the future musn't tell them what we should do.'
'Thanks everyone! Sorry Mamoru…' said Usagi.
'You don't have to, just be happy.' He answered.
She looked at them, the eyes full of tears, and ran.
'Seiya!'
The Star lights stopped and returned. Seiya's face lightenened. Usagi fell into his arms.
'I love you, don't go, stay with me!'
'Dumpling! You really… I'm so glad! And what your boyfriend?'
'Take care of her.' Said Mamoru.
Seiya looked at the Princess and at his friends.
'Well, maybe you should stay… maybe we should all stay…' said Princess Kaguya. 'Unless Usagi thinks there is no place for another Princes here…'
'Stay, stay with us, and together, let's build our own future.'
End file.
| fanfiction |
Juvenile Gaelic Football has taken off at a tremendous speed in the UAE. Our primary focus is to develop the game at both club and school level. Gaelic Football in many Dubai schools has become the forefront of after school club agendas. In the space of only a few months there are 5 schools both primary and secondary playing the game of Gaelic football. The majority of children are of non Irish decent all of different abilities.
Since Gaelic Football has kicked off in schools many of these children have had the opportunity to compete against other schools and in different tournaments including the GGG in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. It has been a real pleasure to watch these young children part take in the game of Gaelic football and see them develop their kicking , hand passing and soloing skills and to continue to go from strength to strength. In addition not only are these children learning about the game of Gaelic football but also about the Irish culture and the passion that is embedded within the GAA.
The number of Irish and their families emigrating all over the globe has increased and never has there been a greater time to expose our Irish identity and culture through our cluichí, ceol agus craic to the world. There is an opportunity for all young boys and girls, not just Irish to develop the skills of Gaelic football and hurling. Our Gaelic games have the skill sets that can be incorporated from many other sports including basketball, AFL, hockey, rugby, soccer to name but a few and we, as a community, have the potential to develop our unique games to all children in the region. Through a progressive relationship between the Club, the parents and the children, each club here in the Middle East has the potential to expand our games and identity.
Each Middle East club has or is in the process of forming a juvenile section to their clubs. Abu Dhabi Na Fianna, Dubai Celts, Al Ain and Arabian Celts conduct weekly coaching sessions for children ranging from five to fourteen years old. Due to the high influx of physical education teachers in public and private schools around the region, many schools are incorporating our native games into their curriculums. For example, the students of Jumeriah Primary in Dubai, under the tutelage of Hollie Murphy play regular games as part of their after school programs. This enables Emirati and other expat students to play our native games.
To expose and develop our native Games to the young Irish Diaspora and children of different cultural backgrounds in the region through inclusive and progressive structures.
To adequately inform parents and to coach young children in the skills and ethos of our national games in a fun and healthy way.
The coaching course of the GAA Fun Do modules focus on the key motor skills that are associated with our native games. Gaelic Games unites the skills of rugby, Australian rules football, soccer, athletics and gymnastics to name but a few.
The skills of catching, kicking, jumping along with incorporating the mental, physical, social and psychological aspects of the young athlete as well as the ABCs (Agility, Balance, Coordination and speed) of movement to develop your child into an all round athlete. | slim_pajama |
C.I.D. 1. Chapter 1
**A/N: hi back with new story.. plz do read and review… yes again it is on mine favourite.. abhijeet :-) **
**A lady is packing her things.. she was looking worried.. man enters in.. lady looked at the man.. **
Lady: dekho khyal rakhna aapna.. aur.. uska bhi… while keeping her clothes in bag.. time par khana khana.. aur.. haan.. subah.. ussey time par.. school ke liye utha dena.. nasta kare bina bureau maat jana.. aur jyda.. **man turned her.. to himself..**
Man: bas.. bas.. itni fikar karogi toh.. kaam kaise karogi.. tumhe kya lagta hai.. tumhare bina mai uska khyal nahi rakh sakta..
Lady: uska tum rakh logey.. par tumhara kaun rahega..
Man: mera.. khayal.. hum dono ek dusre ka khyal rakhengey.. bahut hi samajdhar hai mera beta..
**A boy of 16 year old comes in..** haan sahi kaha papa..
**Lady and man turns.. the boy smiled.. **
Boy: mamma aap behfikar ho kar jao.. papa ka khyal mei rakhunga..
Man: lo tarika.. ab toh mere bete ne bhi keh diya..
Tarika: haan abhijeet.. tum aur tumhara beta.. tek hai.. mai jald se jald aane ki koshish karungi.. tab tak.. tum logo se baat..
Abhijeet: tarika.. I know.. tum jaha jaa rahi ho.. waha koi contact nahi hoga humse.. aur tum conference mei itna busy ho jaogi ki humhe yaad kanre ka time nahi milega tumhe.. hai na adi..
Adi: haan papa..
Tarika smiled.. and hugged.. abhijeet.. and her son..
Tarika: aacha.. time ho gaya hai.. mai calti hun..
Adi: mummy.. Singapore se.. mere liye gifts lana maat bhulna..
Tarika: tek hai.. **and.. tarika.. leaves.. for conference…**
Adi: papa.. aapko bureau nahi jana..
Abhijeet: jaana hai.. aap door lock rakhna..
Adi: haan papa.. aap jayie.. **and abhijeet to leaves.. to bureau.. adi goes to his room to study…**
**At another home.. **
Man: shreya.. mai bhi chalu..
Shreya: nahi daya.. mai chali jaungi.. aap pareshan maat hoyie..
Daya: tek hai.. Shreya.. jab tak dadaji tek na ho jae.. tum unke pass hi rukna..
Girl: mama.. mai bhi jaungi..
Shreya: haan.. khushi.. chalo..
**Khushi smiles… **
Daya: aap dono dhyan rakhna aapna..
Khushi: haan papa.. aur.. bade dadu ka bhi.. rakhengey..
**Daya hugs.. both.. **
Daya: aacha.. train ka time ho gaya hai.. Ahmedabad pachuchtey hi phone karna..
Shreya: jee.. **and.. they leave.. for railway station.. straight from there daya goes to bureau…**
**Daya entered.. **
**He saw abhijeet… **
Daya: good noon boss..
Abhijeet: good noon daya… Shreya aur khushi gayi..
Daya: haan gayi.. ghar mei akela..
Abhijeet: arey mere rehtey tum akele.. kaise ho sakte ho.. ek kaam karo jab tak wo dono wapas nahi aa jate.. tum.. mere gher aa jao.. adi aur mai hai.. aura di aapne chahcu ko miss bhi kar raha tha..
**Daya smiles..** haan idea aacha hai.. chalo shyam ko mai aata hun..
Abhijeet: haan tek hai…
**In evening.. duo go to home together… abhijeet rings the bell.. and adi opens the door… **
Adi: papa.. aap.. aur chachu.. aap.. bhi…
Daya: haan.. kaise.. ho adi..
Adi: mai aacha hun.. chachu..
Abhijeet: andar toh aane doh.. phir baat karna..
Adi: haan.. **adi moves side so duo came in.. **
**After relaxing.. the three sit together and eat… **
Adi: chachu.. chalo videi game kehltey hai..
Daya: haan chalo..
**As soon as they sit to play.. Daya's phone rings.. **
Abhijeet: yeh phone humesha galat samay bajhta hai..
Daya: haan.. abhi tum dekho na plz.. abhijeet sees.. it is.. acp sir..
Abhijeet: acp sir ka phone hai..
Daya: kaam hoga.. lao doh.. **abhijeet gives phone to him.. daya answers it.. **
Daya: hello… jee.. sir.. mai abhijeet ke ghar par hun… haan.. sir.. kya? kab sir? Jee.. sir.. koi problem nahi hai.. bye sir..
**Adi and abhijeet looks at daya's tensed face.. **
Abhijeet: kya hua? daya..
Daya: abhijeet wo…
Abhijeet: bolo..
Daya: abhijeet.. padso.. mission par jana hai..
Abhijeet: mission par.. acp sir bhi na.. galat samay par.. hi mission batatey hai..
Adi: chachu.. koi baat nahi aap chale jao.. mai aur papa.. akele.. maza kar lengey…
Daya: haan.. adi koi choice hi nahi hai.. chalo.. phir kal mei.. jaa kar tayari karta hun.. fun ka time khatam..
Abhijeet: haan tumhara time khatam humhara shuru.. **adi and abhijeet share a high-five..**
Daya: haan tarika nahi hai.. na.. aane doh bataunga.. tum dono ki karastani..
Adi: kya bataogey chachu.. aap toh sab miss kardogey..
Daya: tum dono na.. aacha.. toh mai chalta hun..
Abhijeet: abhi subah chale jaana.. na..
Adi: haan chachu..
Daya: tek hai..
**Soon.. three go to sleep.. next morning.. daya left to bureau.. early.. he had to complete some pending.. work before leaving for the mission… adi got ready for school.. **
Adi: papa.. aap mujhe chod dogey..
Abhijeet: haan.. mai chod dunga.. chalo…
**And soon they too left.. abhijeet dropped… adi.. to school.. **
Adi: papa.. mai.. bus se aa jaunga.. tek hai..
Abhijeet: arrey nahi.. mamma kahiyegi phir.. ki mere bete ko school se bhi nahi laa sakte..
Adi: arrey papa.. mai bada ho gaya hun.. bacha nahi hun.. aa jaunga mei..
**Abhijeet smiles..** haan wo toh hai.. aacha bye..
**Adi smiles… abhijeet waves him bye.. and drives off.. **
**Adi remembered..** arrey papa.. se kehna tha ki.. shyam ko bahar dinner karengey.. chalo shyam ko aayengey tab keh dunga.. **and.. goes in to school.. happily..**
**After noon… at bureau.. daya comes.. **
Daya: good noon.. freddy..
Freddy: good afternoon sir..
Daya: abhijeet kaha hai..
Purvi: sir unhe koi call aaya tha.. uske baad wo yaha se nikal gaye.. 2 gante ho chuke hai..
Daya: kya? **he calls abhijeet but his number is not reachable..** yeh phone kyu nahi lag raha hai uska.. kahi koi problem toh nahi hai..
Sachin: kya ho sakta hai sir.. **bureau phone rings.. purvi picks up.. **
Purvi: hello cid bureau.. inspector purvi.. kya? jee.. **she disconnects the call…**
Daya: kya hua purvi?
Purvi: sir.. wo..
Daya: purvi bolo…
Purvi: abhijeet.. sir..
Daya: abhijeet kya?
Purvi: abhijeet.. sir.. city hospital.. accident..
**All were stunned.. at their place… **
Daya: nahi.. chalo hospital..
**And all rush to hospital… **
Sachin: excuse me.. wo cid inspector abhijeet..
Receptionist: yes sir aagey se left.. operation theatre.. 2
**And all went to the direction… the came.. to the operation theatre.. one.. police.. inspector was there.. **
Daya: abhijeet..
Inspector: sir andar operation chal raha hai..
Daya: abhijeet.. kya hua?
Inspector: sir.. accident.. hua tha.. ab doctor hi bata sakte hai..
**And.. the operation theatre door opens after 2 hours.. of wait.. two doctors comes out.. all rush to him… **
Daya: doctor abhijeet…
**Both doctors looked at each other.. **
Sachin: doctor aab boltey kyu nahi hai kuch…
Doctor: wo Mr abhijeet.. actually hum.. I am sorry to say... **And he pauses**
**A/n: ho gaya.. so do u want me to continue.. if you do.. plz do review… plz… thank you so much.. **
2. Chapter 2
**A/N: thank you so much.. **
Abhidayafan- sorry di.. maaf kardo.. gudiya ko agli baar se nahi puchungi… maaf kardo kaan pakarke sorry..
Rajvi, Misha, Rafia, aditi, Neha, Praju – thanks a lot..
As anjaana- thanks a lot.. haan yaar.. sabke jawab milegey… sabar rakho
Sadia, rits1437, tasha, duo angel, krittika di, loveabhi, guest, shrestha, kavel04 - thanks a lot…
Khushi Mehta- thanks a lot.. haan wo bhi dungi..
Artanish- haan nahi dungi sad ending..
Raffia- dear.. thanks a lot.. aap meri stories ka wait karte hai..
Jennie- thanks a lot.. plz.. do keep reviewing..
Mishti- thanks a lot.. haan padha hai dear..
Little angel- thanks a lot..
Rooly- thanks a lot.. and take care..
**GUEST- Please aap meri story mat paro I will be grateful if u quit aur hell ka rasta mujhe toh malum nahi it may be ur staying place so pls inform me the way to visit u there**
**Anoosha- please aap meri story mat paro.. I will be grateful if u quit.. and mujhe nakhre.. dikhane ki zazurat.. yaha obviously nahi hai… mai nakre dikhaungi toh aapne khud ke ghar pe… **
Doctor: I am sorry.. but Mr. abhijeet had memory loss..
All were stunned..
Daya: nahi.. abhi.. tears.. doctor left from there.. soon abhijeet was shifted to ICU.. all entered in.. abhijeet was lying there.. with life equipment attached to him.. and a big bandage on his head and hand too.. daya sat beside him..
Daya: yeh kya ho gaya abhi.. kal tum mai adi.. saath.. they.. khush they.. aur aaj.. adi.. wo kya kahunga mei ussey.. sachin.. issey kaho na.. ki.. baat kare mujhse..
Soon daya feels movement in abhijeet fingers..
Daya: sachin.. doctor.. ko bulao..
Sachin: jee sir..
Sachin and freddy left… soon returned with.. doctor..
Abhijeet slowly opened his eyes..
Daya: abhi..
Abhijeet looked at daya.. confusingly.. he jerked his hand.. which daya was holding… in week voice he utters.. k..aun.. h..o.. aap? Aur mai.. he tries to get up.. but feels pain in his head.. and head.. too.. ahh..
Doctor: aap plz.. lethey rahiye..
Daya: abhi..
Abhijeet: kaun.. abhi.. tum kaun ho? Mujhe.. holded his head.. kuch.. yaad.. nahi.. aa raha.. hai.. mai.. yaha.. aah..
Doctor prepares.. injection.. and tries to inject to abhijeet.. but abhijeet was became violent.. nahi.. nahi chahiye.. mujhe yeh..
Freddy: sir.. plz..
Abhijeet shouted.. kaun sir.. mujhe nahi rehna yaha.. he tried to get up from bed.. but.. was about to fall… daya grabbed him.. abhi.. nahi.. but abhijeet did not listen he was trying to realize himself from his grip.. daya left him.. so that abhijeet does not fell anymore pain in his wound.. abhijeet throw.. saline and other equipment..
Daya: abhijeet..
Abhijeet shouted.. kaun abhijeet.. kaun ho tum.. haan..
Daya: mai daya.. tumhara dost..
Abhijeet: kaun daya.. nahi hai mujhe yaad.. nahi rehna mujhe yaha.. jana hai mujhe…
Daya made him sit on bed.. and somehow.. doctor.. gave him seductive… he laid down murmuring.. kaun.. nahi.. hai mujhe yaad.. kuch.. nahi hai mujhe yaad kuch..
Sachin: sir.. abhijeet sir.. aap mission par maat jayie sir..
Daya: sachin.. abhijeet ko chodke mei bhi nahi jana chahta.. par mission.. postponed.. bhi nahi kar sakta mei… doctor kya hum issey ghar le jaa sakte hai..
Doctor: haan.. par inhe.. sambalna.. bahut muskil hoga.. gussa, hyper..
Daya: doctor.. aap chinta maat kijiye..
Doctor leaves.. to do discharge formalities.. and.. few other things..
Sachin: sir.. aap mission par jayengey toh abhijeet sir..
Daya: sachin.. filhal gher le jana hai issey.. yaha waise bhi hospital pe rukaga nahi bhag gaya toh lene ke dene padh jayegey… dhyan rakhna media walo ya highter authorizes.. tak yeh baat na pahuchey.. warna.. pata nahi.. kya hoga..
Sachin: jee sir..
Daya: mujhe bas adi ki fikar hai.. wo aise.. abhijeet ko dekhega.. toh..
His phone rings.. it is adi..
Daya: adi ka phone.. daya picks the call..
Daya: hello..
Adi: chachu.. papa aapke saath hai kya.. unka phone mei kabse try kar raha hun lag nahi raha hai…
Daya: adi.. wo.. a bit tensed tone
Adi: kya baat hai chachu.. papa tek toh hai na..
Daya: adi.. wo abhijeet.. ka.. accident..
Adi was stunned… kya? chachu.. wo tek hai na.. tears..
Daya: haan.. haan adi.. wo tek hai.. mai ussey lekar aata hun gher todhi dher mei.. tum pareshan maat ho.. he disconnects the call..
Adi was not assure.. with daya's answer..
Sachin: sir aapne adi ko..
Cut by daya: sachin.. phone pe mai ussey kuch nahi bata sakta tha.. gher jaa kar hi bataunga..
At abhijeet's home..
Adi is waiting.. for his father.. soon.. he hears.. vehicle.. stopping sound.. he rushes towards the door.. unlocks it and opens.. adi is shocked.. to see abhijeet… who is still under seductive.. carried.. by two people.. with help of daya.. he is taken to his room…
Adi: chachu.. papa.. aapne kaha tha ki wo tek hai.. par.. yeh..
Daya: adi.. suno.. wo bas.. hosh mei nahi hai..
Adi: nahi chachu.. bolo.. kya hua papa.. ko
Daya: adi.. wo aapke papa ki yaadasht.. chali gayi hai.. wo kisiko nahi pehchantey..
Adi was stunned.. matlab.. ki.. wo mujhe nahi..
Daya nodes..
Daya: aapke papa kiskiko kya khud ko bhi nahi pehchante.. kuch bhi yaad nahi hai unhe..
Adi gets disturbed.. when.. abhijeet will wake up.. adi will be in front of him.. and.. his father will not recognize.. him..
Daya: adi mai janta hun tum kya soch rahe ho.. par humhe koshish karni hogi.. dhere dhere.. wo tek ho jayega.. todha gussa karega.. irritate hoga..
Adi: chachu.. koi baat nahi.. bas wo tek ho jae..
Daya smiles.. aacha.. mai.. gher jaake aata hun.. yaha rukne ke liye..
Adi: chachu.. aapko toh mission par.. jana hai na..
Daya: adi.. jana hai par.. mai mission cancel.. karna chahta hun.. abhijeet.. ko aise haal mei chodke kaise jaunga..
Adi: nahi chachu.. aisa maat karo.. aap jao mission par.. mai sambal lunga..
Daya: par.. adi..
Adi: chachu.. papa ko bhi aacha nahi lagega ki unki wajah se aap aapne kaam ko chode..
Daya: wah.. bilkul papa jaise baat karte ho tum toh..
Adi smiles.. beta toh unhi ka hun aur wasie bhi maine mummy se promise kiya tha ki mai papa ka dhyan rakhunga..
Daya: par adi tum akele.. itna aasan nahi hoga..
Adi: chachu.. koi problem nahi hogi.. I am there na.. aap jao mission pe..
Daya: mai jaldi se aane ki koshish karunga..
Adi: wo papa kya kehtey hai.. han jald bazi mei gadbaar maat karna..
Daya smiles.. aacha.. tek hai.. haan yeh.. abhijeet ki medicines.. tum dena ussey bahut nakre karta hai wo…
Adi: mai unhi ka hi beta hun.. and daya explains.. him.. he looks at abhijeet..
Daya: abhijeet.. sorry tumhe chodke jaa raha hun.. par jaldi wapas aaunga.. aur tumhara beta.. hai toh meri kya zazurat..
Adi: haan chachu.. aapke aane se pehle hi mai papa ko tek kar dunga…
Daya ruffles.. his hairs.. and leaves..
Adi pov: maine chachu ko keh toh diya hai.. par mai… karunga kaise.. papa ko aise.. wo mujhe dekh kar kaise.. react karengey.. nahi adi.. tu senior inspector abhijeet ka beta hai.. har muskil ka samna karna hai tujhe.. aakhir tere papa.. hai..
At bureau..
Acp is in tension..
Rajat: sir.. aap abhijeet sir ko lekar pareshan hai..
Acp: haan rajat.. daya mission par jaa raha hai.. tarika conference mei hai.. kaise.. ussey..
Rajat: sir.. kya mission..
Acp: nahi rajat.. mission roka nahi jaa sakte kayi sawal puchegi aur wajah humne batayie.. toh tek nahi hoga.. filhal abhijeet se milne tum mei se koi nahi jayega.. wo jyda stress le ga tension lega.. main ahi chahta wo tension le..
Purvi: par sir abhijeet sir.. ko kaun
Acp: adi.. junior abhijeet.. sambalega aapne pita ko…
Here adi is sitting beside abhijeet.. holding his hand… adi sees.. some reaction.. movements in abhijeet's finger… he looks at abhijeet.. who is coming.. into consciousness..
Adi calls.. Papa..
**A/N: thank you so much.. plz do review.. I will waiting.. for your reviews.. thank you.. so much… **
3. Chapter 3
**A/N: thank you so much for all your wishes.. love u all.. **
**Artanish- thank you**
**Abhidayafan- thank you… di**
**Guest- dear..aapko kahi jaane ki zazurat nahi hai.. I am sorry I only meant with one particular guest.. who bashed me… not you.. I am really sorry… and most welcome… **
**Praju- thank you.. **
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**Misha- thanks a lot.. **
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**Khushi Mehta- mai 17 ki ho gayi hun… thank you so much… for your wishes… take care.. **
**Krittika di- thank you so much.. aapki aadat par gayi hai mujhe.. :P **
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Adi smiles papa...
Abhijeet tries to sit looking around..
Abhijeet: Mein yeaha
Adi: papa yeh aapke gher hai
Abhijeet: Gher...
He looks around
Abhijeet: aur tum.. tum kaun
Adi: mai aapka beta.. hun papa
Abhijeet: Mera beta.. per mein..
He looks downwards helplessly mein kaun hu...
Adi: aap mere papa ho.. Abhijeet naam hai aapka
Abhijeet: Abhi..jeet... per kuch yaad... yaad kyu nahi aata...
He is looking really confused.. adi too was feelling helpless… He sat beside abhijeet and kept a hand over his shoulder… Abhijeet looked towards him tumhara naam... mera matlab mujhe..
Adi: mera naam adi hai.. aap chinta maat karo jaldi aapko sab yaad aa jayega
Abhijeet smiled lightly...then looked around...
Abhijeet: Aur koi...
Adi: Haan papa bahut hai par filhal gher mei mai aur aap hi hai mumma toh kaam se out of india gayi hai
Abhijeet: Mummma...wo...
Adi: Haan mumma wo dekho samne wo rahi mumma aap aur mei poiting towards the phone hanging.. on the wall.. Abhijeet was looking at it silently he wants to remember something but no.. not a image is clear he jerks his head... tries to concentrate hard.. Sweat appears on his forehead.. Adi notices the change..
Adi: Papa papa kya hua aap tek hai na..
Abhijeet: Ha wo.. sab.. yea tasveer... acha wo hospital mey.. wo... kaun..
Adi: Wo daya chachu hai
Abhijeet: Tumhare chachu...
Adi: Haan aapke chote bhai dost sab kuch..
Abhijeet closes his eyes and leaned back on the backrest...
Abhijeet: Pata nahi kuch samajh nahi araha
Adi: Dhere dhere sab samaj aa jayega aap abhi jyada maat sochiye..
Abhijt didn't answer..
Adi tried papa
Abhijeet opened his eyes which were bit teary.. he tried to wipe it but adi was smart enough to understand
Abhijeet opened his eyes and looked at adi.. adi wiped his tears
Abhijeet smiled ruffled his hairs
Abhijeet: tum school mei parte ho?
Adi: haan parta hun
Abhijeet: Kis class mei?
Adi: 10th mei
Abhijeet: Arey bah.. to parai nahi karni.. yeaha baithe ho.. jao..
Adi: kya papa jab dekho parai ke liye kehtey rehtey ho
A pain flashed on abhijeet's face.. but he managed a smile...
Abhijeet: Jao mein thik hu..
Adi: nahi..
Abhijeet: Matlab? kya nahi?
Adi: nahi ka matlab nahi.. mai nahi jana
Abhijeet sat straight again kyu
Abhijeet: kyu kya aapke pass nahi baith sakta mei..
Abhijeet sighed...
Abhijeet: Mujhe akela rehna hai
Adi: tek hai.. jata hun mei
He got up to leave making a sad face
Abhijeet said sorry
Adi: no papa it's okay
Abhijeet: Aise muh latkake jaoge to bura lagega na?
Adi smiles.. a little..
Abhijeet continued looking at him silently..
Adi surrendered and sat beside him kya hua
Abhijeet: nahi.. kuch nahi..
Adi: Papa aap itna pls mat sochiye sab yaad ajayega aapko... pls
Abhijeet: agar nahi aaya toh
Adi: Ager aagaya toh?
Abhijeet: toh.. aachi baat hogi.. par yaad nahi.. aata kuch.. yaad karne jao toh yeh sar dard hota hai...
Adi: To aap koshish mat kijiye na..
Abhijeet looks at him..
He comes near to him
Adi: papa aap aise sochte rehenge to kuch thik to nahi hoga na? balki aap aur bimar ho jayenge.. to aap relax rahiye brain ko rest milega to hi na wo thik hoga
Abhijeet: lekin aise toh phir kabhi mujhe kuch yaad nahi aayega..
Adi: Aap bahut negative sochte hai... aap relax rahiye jo injuries hua use thik to hone dijiye.. fir dekhna jhat se sab yaad ajayega
Abhijeet smiles.. he ruffles his hair.. bahut samajdhar ho tum..
Adi: Pata hai mujhe akhir bhateja kiska hu?
He smiles...
Abhijeet smiles too..
Abhijeet: aacha.. aapke.. chachu.. wo.. kaha hai..
Adi: wo mission pey gaye hai
Abhijeet: mission?
Adi: Ha wo cid mei hai na to.. culprit wagera ke liye jana parta hey ,aap bhi to jate they
Abhijeet: mai bhi..
Adi: Haa...aap bhi to cid ke senior inspector ho
Abhijeet: cid se..nior inspector.. few things starts to run in his mind.. the name he had heard before... nothing is cleared... he again starts to fell pain.. in head.. aah...
Adi: Papa kya hua papa?
Abhijeet: phir se.. wahi dard..
Adi: Aap letiye mein ata hu abhie.. leto aap
Abhijeet lies down.. holding his head
Adi comes back with the tablet and hand it over to abhijeet
Abhijeet gulp it down and lies down.. he is still pressing his head… Adi asked softly
Adi: balm laga du? acha lagega aapko...
Abhijeet denies nahi thik hu
Adi protest thik nahi hai dard ho raha hai aapko
Abhijeet opens his eyes
Abhijeet: ha ho raha hai.. nahi hu thik mil gaya jawab.. now leave.. pls akela rehne do mujhe jao.. ahhh jao... pls
Adi move out silently... Abhijeet closed his eyes... and soon drifted into sleep..
Adi was in his room crying silently..
He never remembered his father using loud tone for him.. he lied down burying his face in pillow,
Abhijeet woke up after two hours... he got up feeling quite fresh... then he remembered how he spoke with adi.. maine bahut buri tarike se baat ki ussey...
He got up.. and tried to look for adi where he could be.. He came in front of adi's room and found him sitting on the window pane looking out he knocked at the door.. adi looked.. papa.. aap.. aayo na
Abhijeet: Adi wo mein.. I am sorry... meine tab pata nahi kaise.. kya ho jata hai dimaag mei sorry
Adi: nahi papa koi baat nahi mai samaj sakta hun..
Abhijeet: Fir ro kyu rahe they? bura to laga na?
Adi: nahi.. wo bas isse pehle aapne kabhi mujhse aisa baat nahi ki thi na.. isliye
Abhijeet came near him..
Abhijeet: Sorry beta... plsss
He holded his hand.. nahi papa sorry maat bolo..
Abhijeet patted his cheeks lightly.. Adi smiled….
Then said.. raat kaafi ho gayi.. rukiye mein dinner order ker deta hu
Abhijeet asked hum mil ke banane ki koshish kare kuch?
Adi: Per aap ki tabiyet
Abhijeet: nahi adi.. mai tek hun aab..
Adi: To chaliye waise bhi aap ki haath ki khana to mera all-time favorite hai
Abhijeet smiled.. mera haath ka khana..
Adi: Haa pata hai aap paalak ki sabji aur chana aisa banate hey mummy aur chachi bhi peeche chut jati hey.. chalo aaj milke bana lete hai
Abhijeet: haan.. chalo..
They both moved to kitchen
Here daya was tensed for abhijeet…
Daya: pata nahi kaisa hoga wo.. adi kaise sambalega.. aur agar abhi ne uske saath bhi subah jaise behave kiya toh.. sir bhi na.. mission.. jaa toh raha hun.. par abhijeet ki fikar hi.. lagi rahegi… nahi daya.. adi ne kaha tha wo sambal lega.. phir kyu.. phir bhi.. fikar toh rahegi hi.. mujeh jaldi se jaa kar wapas aana hoga.. adi kab tak akela sambalega… ussey…
**A/N: thank you so much.. plz do review.. but lost few reviews.. pls do review… and haan hum update kiya hai plz review karna… last chapter.. uska bhi.. jaldi post karungi.. par review.. too that.. plz.. do review.. thank you so much.. in advance.. take care.. bye… **
4. Chapter 4
**Abhijeet is waiting for adi, it's already late evening**
School mey itni der...
**He** **moved out to the lounge..**
Phone.. per mere pass toh mobile.. aur koi number... sayed phone book mey
**He started searching the phone book but no useful number came out**
ab kya karu mei.. kisse.. pucho..
**He was really feeling tension... he was pacing up and down the room.. about after an hour.. the doorbell rings.. He opens the door hurriedly**
**Abhijeet:** adi.. itne dher se kyu aaye? tum?
**Adi:** Papa wo..
**Abhijeet:** Kya papa wo... school gaye they.. school kab khatam hota hey? raat 9 baj rahe hey.. tution bhi ho to ek phone ker sakte they na
**Adi:** papa.. sorry.. wo phone ka battery khatam ho gaya tha
**Abhijeet:** Kyu charge nahi kiya ja sakta tha? koi friends ke pass phone nahi tha?
**Adi:** tha.. par mai bol gaya.. sorry..
**Abhijeet**: Sorry.. pata hey kaisa lag raha tha yeaha mujhe.. koi number bhi.. jao aab apne room mey...
**Adi nodes and silently.. walks towards his room.. Abhijeet notices blood marks on his shirt..**
Adi... **He calls**
**Adi:** haan papa.. **adi turns..**
**Abhijeet:** Yea kya hey..
**Pointing towards the marks**
**Adi:** wo.. kuch nahi.. mai aata hun.. change karke.. **he starts to walk.. abhijeet.. said.. **
Ruko... **adi stops… Abhijeet comes forward and touches his arm where the blood marks are there**
**Adi flinches.. abhijeet looks at his face then says in a strict tone** dikhao
**Adi:** papa.. kuch.. nahi.. hai..
**Abhijeet:** Meine kaha dikhao
**He pulls up his sleeves..**
**Abhijeet:** Yea itne sare chot.. kya hua tumhe?
**He touches the wound softly** baitho tum.. batao first aid box kaha hey
**Adi:** wo waha.. uper.. shelf mei.. hai..
**Abhijeet:** Baitho tum.. aur shirt utar ke.. mein aata hu..
**Adi removes his shirt.. and sits.. abhijeet returns with the first aid box and started cleaning the wound with antiseptic**
**Abhijeet:** hua kya tha?
**Adi:** kuch nahi.. wo bas ek chota sa accident..
**Abhijeet:** Chota sa?
**Adi**: haan wo mei wapas aa raha tha.. wo bike waale ne..
**Abhijeet**: Bike wale ne kya?
**Adi:** wo bike wala bahut hi teesi se aa raha tha...
**Abhijeet:** Aur fir?
**Adi:** mai wo kuch soch raha tha... dhyan nahi diya.. aur bike marke..
**Abhijeet:** Aisa kya soch rahe they jo itni bari bike nahi dekhi?
**Adi:** aapke.. baare mei
**Abhijeet looked up at adi automatically his voice lowered he finished dressing with** kya soch rahe they
**Adi:** kuch nahi... papa.. bas humhare aache din yaad kar raha tha...
**Adi got up to move to his room.. abhijeet sat there itself...**
**He uttered..** mujhe koi haq nahi tha aise daantne ka
nahi papa aapko pura haq hai..
**abhijeet:** Aap jao beta rest karo fresh hoke
**Abhi moved away from the scene.. adi went to his room.. to freshen up.. Abhijeet moved in kitchen he was preparing dinner but his mind is somewhere else...**
Baap ka farz nahi nibha sakta to gussa kaise ker sakta hu.. yea yaadein.. mere wajase aur stress ho raha hey bacha.. mujhe sab yaad kerna hoga jaldi..
**Adi comes to the kitchen.. after while.. he sees abhijeet in deep thought..** papa..
**Abhijeet:** Ha kuch cahiye tumhe
**Adi**: aap tek ho na..
**Abhijeet:** Haan.. tumhe aaram kerna tha na beta
**Adi:** nahi papa.. mai tek hun.. yeh toh choti si chot hai jaldi tek ho jayegi
**Abhijeet:** Per abhie jao.. subha nikle they.. jao..
**Adi:** tek hai
**And adi.. goes to his room.. Abhijeet finishes making the dinner and moves to call adi.. He was still disturbed with different thoughts.. adi was lying on bed with closed eyes... Abhijeet sits beside him and calls softly **adi beta..
**Adi opens his eyes..** haan papa..
**Abhijeet:** Chalo dinner ker lo.. fir soh jana aake... chalo
**Adi nodes.. and they both move out.. to do dinner.. After dinner adi said** papa aapki medicine..
**Suddenly abhijeet's eyes got moist**
**Abhijeet:** tum jake so jao beta.. mein thik hu
**Adi:** nahi papa.. aapki dawai bahut zazuri hai... aap dawai khalo phir mei chala jaunga
**Abhijeet:** Kha lunga thik hey jao aab.. aur so jana computer leke mat baith jana kal ki tarah
**Adi smiles..** tek hai papa nahi baithunga aap bhi jaldi soh jaana...
**Abhijeet:** Haaa babah...
**Adi leaves.. to his room.. Abhijeet too but he didn't find his medicines so left it and sat on the bed attaching his back with backrest.. looking at the bedside photo of tarika and him with adi between them, adi having a little girl in his lap and daya shreya standing beside them..**
**He tried hard to remember anything from his past... But no all things are blank.. He closed his eyes feeling headache.. he dozed off... Still in mind thinking about past**
_**A doctor comes out handing a baby to his hand...**_
_**He is shooting someone**_
_**Daya is making adi walk...**_
**He wakes up with a jerk...**
Yea sab kya tha... mein kise shoot.. wo bacha.. wo admi... Ahhh yea sarr dard.. ahhh... Dawai...
**He searches his side table but can't get any painkiller...**
**He was feeling high drizzle and pain.. he moved to lounge** sayed uss first aid box mey..
**He started searching making most of the things fall down.. But can't get the required medicine.. he moves to kitchen.. opens the cabinet.. Here adi gets some noises which disturbs his sleep**
yeh awaas kaisi.. **adi got up.. and came out.. hearing the noises**
**He sees medicine rather whole first aid box scattered on sofa**
yeh.. sab.. papa.. zazur dawai nahi li hogi.. **he hears noise from kitchen and moves to kitchen**
**He founds abhijeet in front of the open cabinet holding the kitchen slab standing with closed eyes.. its clear from his face that he is feeling pain.. adi goes to abhijeet... papa... he holded his hand..**
aap baitho.. **he helps him walk to the sofa.. and makes him sit..**
Tum.. jaag gaye.. sorry.. wo mein... ahhh.. tum jake so jao.. raat.. ho gayi.. mein..
Papa.. aapne dawai nahi li na aapni..
**Abhijeet cannot sit straight he is grasping at the sofa handle in pain**
**Abhijeet:** Nahi nahi thik hu mein tum.. so jao.. kitna ..
**He looks at the wall clock**
arey 2 baj gaye.. mein thik.. tum jao... le leta hu dawai.. mil gaya.. tum..
**adi**: nahi.. aap tek nahi ho.. **adi.. goes to kitchen brings water... and finds his medicine... comes to abhijeet...** yeh lijiye... khaiyiye..
**Abhijeet gulps it down..**
**Abhijeet:** Wo mila nahi tha tab.. aab thik hu tum so jao..
**He is feeling very weak so closed his eyes**
**Adi know he will not be able to walk to his room.. so adi make him lie properly on sofa...**
**Abhijeet:** Mein thik hu tum.. mein thik hu.. ahhh.. thik hu..
**Adi:** papa.. chup chap.. leth jao...
**Abhijeet smiles weekly..** haan tum bhi.. ahh... yea dard bhi na... mein so jaunga.. tum.. kal school hey jao.. tum
**Adi:** haan papa.. mai soh jaunga.. aap aakhein band karo.. he patted his head.. softly..
**Abhijeet's face reflected a great sooth and he moved to dreamland under the medicine effect**
**Adi went.. and brought blanket.. and covered.. him..**
**Abhijeet relaxed in the warm comfort and moved in deep sleep**
**Adi smiled.. tear slipped his eyes..** aap jaldi tek ho jao papa.. aise.. aapko nahi dekh sakta mei..
**Then he too moved to his room... **
**Early morning sun rays touched abhijeet's eyelids**
**Abhijeet woke up and after grasping the situation sat up**
Mein yeaha sofe pey.. kal raat...
**He remembered the high pain he felt and then he was in kitchen when adi came there**
Oh no.. meine uska bhi neend kharab ker diya
**He got up hurriedly and found the blanket...** Yea.. adi ne... **He felt proud as the father of such a son**
**He moved to adi's room.. found him trying to hide his eyes from sun rays.. He managed the curtains and sat beside adi.. He caressed his hairs for some moments then felt a ringer from adi's mobile.. looked at it, it's the waking up alarm.**
**He put it off and called** adi
Adi beta subha ho gayi dekho
**But adi decided he should sleep more**
**Abhijeet: **adi.. beta utho school jana hai.. na.. late ho jayega..
**Adi just moved in a more cozy position**
**Abhijeet:** beta uth jayo... dekho breakfast banana hai help cahiye na aapki..
**It worked.. adi got up...** kya help cahiye papa..
**Abhijeet:** Lo yea bola to neend tut gayi... he smiles
**Adi smiled too.** papa.. aap bhi na..
**Abhijeet: **Aap ki chot kaisi hey aab?
**Adi:** pehle se tek hai.. jyda dard nahi hai
**Abhijeet:** Dressing change kerni hey fresh ho ke ajao..
**Adi:** tek hai.. papa
**He came back after freshening up abhijeet handed him the milk glass and bring the first aid box...**
**He removed the old bandage and started in low tone..** beta srry...
**Adi:** sorry kyu papa?
**Abhijeet:** Wo kal raat bekar mey tumhe bhi disturb ker diya
**Adi:** nahi papa.. ismei disturb wali baat nahi hai.. mujhe toh aapse naraz hona chahiye
**Abhijeet:** Kyu? naraaz kyu?
**Adi:** jab aapko dawa mili nahi.. toh.. aapne mujhse kyu nahi kaha
**Abhijeet:** Arey wo tum so gaye mujhe kya pata tha adhi raat ko wo sapne..
**He stopped instantly and diverted words with** dudh pakerne ke liye nahi diya piyo
**Adi:** haan.. wo sapne.. kya keh rahe they aap.. kaise sapne.
**Abhijeet:** Kuch nahi jao...jake ready ho jao late ho jaoge school ke liye
**Adi decides to leave the topic ask him later.. he goes to get ready..**
**Abhijeet murmurs**
mein cid officer hu yea nahi pata nahi yea pakka cid officer banega bara hoke.. offff...
**Then smiles..** but bahut pyara hey mera beta.. kitna khayal rakhta hey.. **Pauses** mera beta? mujhe to wo yaad bhi nahi yaad aayega bhi ya nahi.. he was in lost in thoughts..
**Adi came back after getting ready**
**Adi:** papa.. i am ready..
**Abhijeet:** Haan.. wo haan.. baitho breakfast lata hu abhie... He left..
**Adi thinks** aaj parents meet hey school mey papa ko bolu yea nahi.. school mey bahut daant paregi... ek bar try karu bol ne ka?
**He sees abhijeet coming with breakfast he decides to start the matter with a casual convo**
**Adi:** papa.. aapki tabiyet kaisi hai aab
**Abhijeet:** Bilkul thik hey.. kyu?
**Adi:** nahi.. aise.. hi pucha..
**Abhijeet:** Kuch kehna hey tumhe?
**Adi:** wo.. aaj.. school mei..
**Abhijeet gives him a questioning glance.. adi decides to first confirm whether abhijeet is comfortable in going out**
**Adi: **papa.. aapko nahi lagta.. gher mei saare din rehke.. gutan mehsoos hoti hai.. todha bahar.. gumna chahiye.. aapko
**Abhijeet:** Nahi adi
**abhijeet's face reflected a pain and something like a fear..** mujhe ajeeb lagta hey aisa lagta hey jaise sab mujhe dekh ke pehchan lenge aur mein.. **He sighs** mein gher pey hi thik hu.. kahi nahi jana.. waise tum kya keh rahe they school mey kya
**Adi:** tek hai papa... arrey bas kuch nahi.. ek ladke ki complaint karni hai.. bahut hi sararti ho gaya hai wo
**Abhijeet smiled** tumse jyada?
**Adi:** mai sararti hun..
**Abhijeet:** Hmm isiliye to itne pyare lagte ho..
**Adi smiles..** aacha mujhe dher ho rahi hai mai chalta hun.. aap dawai lena maat bulna..
**Abhijeet**: Haa meri fiqar mat kerna.. dhyan se jana aur der ho to phone ker dena.. bahut tension ho jati hey..
**Adi:** tek hai papa aur aap aapna bhi dhyan rakhna..
**Abhijeet nods and adi moves out**
**Adi reaches school.. he saw all the parents meeting with the teachers… soon the parents meeting were over.. adi was called by teacher.. **
**Teacher:** adi.. tumhare parents kyu nahi aaye.. maine bola tha na..
**Adi:** mam.. wo.. mummy.. kaam se bahar.. teacher cut him..
**Teacher:** papa.. toh yahi hai na.. gher tumne bataya hi nahi hoga.. haina.. she scolded him now go to your classroom..** adi goes quietly.. **
**Adi's friend.. asked him:** adi.. kyu nahi aaye uncle?
**Before adi can say something… another friend says..** duty ke agey bet eke liye waqt hi kaha… **and others.. laugh.. adi was super angry.. he fights with them.. **
**Adi:** mere papa ke baare mei kuch maat kaho samjhe…
**Friend:** aacha.. kya karega.. haan**.. he pushed him.. adi was angry.. he fight.. with his friend… the friend also fight hurting more on his wound.. the teacher came in.. and saw… adi.. beating his friend.. **
**Teacher angrily:** adi…
**They stop.. **
**Teacher:** kya ho raha hai yaha..
**Friend:** mam adi.. dekho.. mujhe marr raha hai..
**Adi:** mam wo.. mere papa..
**Teacher:** adi.. yaha padne aate ho ki ladai karne… haan.. yahi sikhaya.. hai tumhe.. **teacher scolds him more.. badly.. **
**Adi returns home… his face was red.. boiling in anger… throws his bag on the floor.. the blood was also dripping from his wounds… **
**A/n: Thank you so much for reviews.. **
**Artanish- **thank you so much..
**Praju- **thank you so much..
**Abhidayafan- **thank you so much.. hmm why is tarika not informed.. chapter 1 firse padhlo.. pata chal jaayega..
**As anjaana- **thank you so much.. dekho maine aaj tak paalak ki sabzi ko haath tak nahi lagaya hai khane kit oh dhur ki baat hai :P
**Naina mallik- **thank you so much…
**Duo angel- **thanks a lot…
**Kashaf- **thank you so much..
**Rajvigirl-** thank you so much…
**Khushi Mehta- **thankyousomuch… mai kaise mil sakti hun yaar mei toh NRI hun
**Guest- **thank you so much..
**Krittika- **thank you so much di.. adat aachi hi hai..
**Loveabhi- **thank you so much…
**Shrestha- **thank you so much..
**Neha- **thank you so much…
**Shweta- **aacha maine aapko maaf kiya.. meri sabzi abbey yaar.. yaar mera naam paalak nahi palak hai palak mane.. aankho ki palkey.. samzi…
**Rits1437- **sorry.. thank you so much..
**Pinki- **thank you so much..
**Rooly- **thanks a lot.. plz take care of yourself
**Sami- **thanks a lot…
**Little angel- **thanks a lot… take care of yourself..
**Honey- **thank you so much.. haan janti ho tum mei gusse se ubal rahi hun.. thank you so much… take care…
**Crazyforpurvi- **thank you so much…
**Kavel- **thanks a lot.. bro.. love u…
**Aditi- **thanks a lot.. dear…
**A/N: plz do review.. and if u have any special abhijeet and adi scene request.. plz do tell.. through review.. I will try to include.. :) plz.. do review.. hope to see.. new reviews… hope can cross 120 plz review.. hmm toh ab kya hoga? Itna gusse mei adi? Kya hoga.. gher pe.. wait for next.. but review fast fast.. **
5. Chapter 5
**A/N: thank you so much.. for reviews.. loveabhi, krittika di. Kashaf, aditi, neha, as anjaana, abhidayafan, artanish, naina mallik, Shweta, guest, praju, jyoti, rajvigirl- thank you so much… **
**Khushi Mehta- mai india mei born hui hun.. pechle 7 saal se bahar hun.. aati hun india 2 saal mei ek baar… **
**Adi came back home throwing his bag on floor and blood dripping from his wounds.. He sat on the sofa dejected... Abhijeet comes out of his room**
**Abhijeet:** arey adi tum agaye..
**He notices the haalat of adi..** Beta yea sab..
**Adi:** papa.. kuch nahi..
**Abhijeet:** Per beta yea jakham.. aur tum bahut gusse mey.. kuch hua school mey?
**Adi:** haan haan hua aapko ussey kya.. **he shouted**
**Abhijeet looked at him** kya hua?
**Adi:** dosto se ladai hui meri.. aapki wajah se..
**Abhijeet:** Meri wajase.. matlab?
**Adi:** koi bhi... ulta seedha bolega toh gussa toh aayega na...
**Abhijeet comes and sit beside him and pats his back softly**
**Abhijeet:** kya bola kisine?
**Adi jerks his hand**
**Abhijeet:** aapko kya aap jaiye duty kijiye..
**Abhijeet looks at adi's face.. his eyes is having pain**
**Abhijeet:** aapne larai kisse kiya?
**Adi:** haan ki.. aapko kya.. mere dost hai mai kuch bhi karu..
**Abhijeet:** Per bete to aap mere hey.. to aapko chot lagti hai to mein puch bhi nahi sakta
**Adi smirks**
Beta...aapko to yaad bhi nahi hai na
**Abhijeet looks at him with a jerk..** Adi.. **Adi also realizes the very next moment what he said.. He tries to say but he know words are like bullet once thrown can't pulled back.. He murmurs **papa mein wo..
**Abhijeet got up with..** fresh ho jayo.. dawai le ke aata hu..
**He moves.. and Adi moves in his room and banged the door close.. Abhijeet looks at the door.. Sighs enters his own room He was waiting for adi to open his door but he has no hurt to call adi.. He was lost in his thoughts his guilt when about half an hour he heard the doorbell abhijeet was in a bit dilemma when he heard adi moving to main door Adi opened the door and his friends were standing there.. whom he has fought**
**Friend:** adi actually hum to bas majaq... uncle ki duty hi kuch aisa hai to..
**Adi:** to tum logo ne soch liya meri fiqar kyu hoga mere papa ko
**Friend:** nahi.. adi.. wo baat nahi hai.. hum toh bas..
**Adi just look at him and sighs.. **
**The friend says in low tone** waise uncle kaha hai..
**Adi looks down papa..**
**He in his mind..** bol du papa gher pey nahi hai.. nahi... mere papa ne koi galti nahi kiya.. unki yea problem bhi suru hua iss desh ki seva kerte hue fir kyu.. He a loud baitho papa sayed ander koi kaam.. mein dekhta hu
**He moves in to call abhijeet.. he enters to abhijeet room... and calls him papa..**
**Abhijeet looks up...** Koi aya hai?
**Adi:** haan mere dost aaye hai.. aapse milna chahtey hai..
**Abhijeet:** Mujhse... per mein...
**Adi:** chalo na papa..
**Abhijeet:** Per.. wo.. mein unnhe pehchnta nahi..
**Adi:** koi baat nahi papa.. chalo.. na.. he holds his hand.. Abhijeet looks at the grip.. **his father instincts told him to move but something deep is telling** mein kaise.. wo log.. kya sochenge..
**But he moves.. out**
**his friends..** hello uncle.. kaise hai aap...
**Abhijeet:** Mein thik hu beta aap log?
**Friend:** hum sab bhi aache hai..
**Abhijeet smiles** aur aap sab ki padai?
**Friend:** jee aachi chal rahi hai.. uncle.. aaj aap school nahi aaye?
**Abhijeet:** School?
**Adi:** jee aapko adi ne bataya nahi aaj parents teacher meet tha na
**Abhijeet looks toward adi who looks down**
**Abhijeet:** nahi beta wo sayed subha jaldi jaldi mey...
**Friend:** lagta hai adi ne nahi bataya aapko..
**Abhijeet nods**
**Abhijeet:** waise baitho aaplog.. baatein karo.. mujhe kuch kaam.. ata hu mein...
**Friend:** jee acha..
**He signals adi towards kitchen cabinet having chips and all and move back to his room.. adi went to kitchen brought the chip and other snacks for his friend.. They talked for sometime and after some time then they left.. adi moved to abhijeet's room.. he went in.. he saw abhijeet.. sitting on bed..**
**Abhijeet sensed his arrival asked without looking at him** school mei meeting tha?
**Adi with head down.. and in low tone..** haan tha
**Abhijeet:** Batane ki jararut nahi samjhi
**Adi:** papa.. wo.. subah aap i mean.. bahar.. kaise..
**Abhijeet:** Ha mein kaise baap hone ka farz nibha sakta hu hey na? sahi kiya...
**Abhijeet's voice trembled a bit..**
**Adi:** nahi papa aisa nahi hai..
**Abhijeet:** Tum baitho.. mein dawai...
**He tries to get up but adi sits in front of him.. he looks at adi **
**Adi:** papa aap naraz hai mujhse? haina..
**Abhijeet looks away**
**Abhijeet:** nahi tumne galti nahi ki.. mein nibha kaha pa raha hu jimmedari
**Adi:** nahi.. papa aap aisa maat socho...
**Abhijeet looks at adi. adi is about to cry.. abhijeet tries to smile**
lar ke aagaye mein jan bhi nahi paya kyu.. parents meet tha bataya bhi nahi.. aur waise bhi mein jata to tumhe aur embarasment hi hoti.. thik hai.. chalo koi baat nahi aab..
**But his words remain incomplete as adi buried his head in his father's lap**
**Adi:** papa.. nahi.. aisa nahi hai.. wo.. aapne hi kaha tha.. ki bahar.. aap.. nahi jaana chahtey.. aap logo ko nahi pehchan payengey.. while crying... mai toh bas... aapka sochke hi.. plz.. papa.. mera aapko bezat karne ka.. koi irada nahi tha... na embarrassment.. ka..
**Abhijeet cupped his face **
adi aise rote nahi beta.. meine to isliye kaha tha ki tum aise bahar jane ki baat ker rahe they.. tumhari jarurat ki baat hoti to mein.. ha sayed mein thik se sab handle nahi ker pata per jata jarur... aap ne yea kiu soch liya? haan aapko lagta hai aapke papa apse pyaar nahi karte?
**He is fighting his own tears while wiping adi's tears**
**Adi:** nahi.. aap toh mujhse bahut pyaar karto.. ho.. mumma se bhi jyda.. karte ho...
**Abhijeet:** Ha beta.. chalo yeaha ayo..
**He made him sit on the bed beside him**
**Abhijeet:** school mei isi baat ko leke jhgra hua na?
**Adi:** haan... wo mera dost ne.. kaha.. ki aapko duty ke aage.. beta nahi dekhta.. mujhe gussa aaya.. aur hum hare.. beech ladai ho gayi..
**Abhijeet smiles he was caressing his hairs..**
**Abhijeet:** Mujhe to laga tha mera beta bahut samjhdar hai per yeaha to...
**He made a fake sorrow face**
**Adi looked at abhijeet..** kya hua papa.. aap udas maat ho... na..
**Abhijeet:** Arey mein udas nahi hu beta per aap aise larai kiu krte ho? unhone to yeauhi keh diya.. itna gussa acha baat nahi hai na..
**Adi nods and looks at abhi with teary eyes and hugs him tightly.. not like the matured boy he is but like a small child abhijeet ruffled his hairs**
**Abhijeet:** kya hua mumma yaad aa rahi hai?
**Adi:** haan..
**Abhijeet:** To phone ker lo unhe..
**Adi:** mumma jaha gayi hai waha koi.. contact nahi ho sakta.. ager ho pata toh mai unhe aapke baare mei bata deta aur wo turant aa jaati aapke pass
**Abhijeet:** Acha.. koi baaat nahi papa hai na aapke pass.. aur mujhe bhi aur kisiki jarurat nahi itna samjhdar beta jo hai... acha yea batao school se ake aapne kuch nahi khaya bhukh nahi lagi?
**Adi:** Bahut bhuk lagi hai
**Abhijeet:** To choro mujhe kuch bana ke late hai fir karte hey aapse laad thik hai..
**He kisses adi in his head.. And goes to kitchen to make something.. father and son enjoy food together.. **
**A/N: thank you so much.. but yeh kya bas 15 reviews.. agar aisa hi.. kum hote rahe toh mai phir mai sad ending kar dungi.. review.. guys… plz review.. warna.. sad ending milega iska… **
6. Chapter 6
**A/N: thank you so much.. **
**Rajvigirl- t..y.. **
**Artanish- t…y..**
**Kashaf- t…y.. **
**Abhidayafan- t..y di.. **
**Guest- t..y.. **
**Neha- haha.. thamki samjo.. ya kuch bhi.. t..y… **
**Krittika-t..y.. di… **
**Guest- t..y.. aachi deti hun na.. aap bhi kabhi try karna… :P aap mere fan.. kabhi socha nahi tha.. hum koi aisa kaam bhi karengey… :P**
**Praju- t..y… **
**Shrestha-t..y..**
**Kavel04- t..y.. bacho.. tu toh ghar ka hi.. bataungi tujhe… **
**Khushi- mai.. india dec 2015 mei aaungi.. :) aur mujhe aapse koi gift nahi chahiye… :) 14 dec tak hai.. **
**Naina mallik- thank you so much.. dear.. **
**Bhumi98- t..y.. it's okay.. ab regular review karna… **
**Duo angel- t..y… luv you.. too.. **
**Shweta- t..y… haan dear.. aaap sab regular reviewers ke liye maine kiya… **
**After the food adi got up from dining table to keep his plate... he felt a high pain in his wound..** aah...
**Abhijeet:** Adi kya hua...
**Adi:** kuch nahi.. papa.. bas.. wo chot mei todha.. dard..
**Abhijeet:** Baitho tum.. kaha dard ho raha hai dikhao...
**Adi:** nahi.. wo.. bas.. putting his hand.. behind.. his near his shoulder..
**Abhijeet slowly moves his hand and folds his t shirt**
**Abhijeet:** yea cut to bahut deep..firse chot ayi ispe?kaha nahi gaya ake?
**Adi:** papa wo.. maine dhyan nahi diya.. tab dard nahi hua.. abhi ho raha hai..
**Abhijeet:** Acha baitho ata hu mein..
**He come back with medicines and started doing the dressing he applied the antiseptic adi flinched **chhh... **he holded abhijeet's shirt...**
**Abhijeet:** Bas bas ho gaya... bacha bas.. **abhijeet patted his head with the other hand and applied **bandage lo ho gaya...
**Adi** **smiled..** thank you papa..
**Abhijeet:** Papa ko koi thank you kehte hai?
**Adi:** Jao jake aaram karo.. ek nap le lo acha lagega..
**Adi didn't moves but looked at abhijeet with kiddish look**
**Abhijeet:** kya hua?
**Adi:** nahi.. kuch nahi.. aap sulado na aaj
**Abhijeet smiled** acha chalo..
**They both moved to adi's room**
**Abhijeet sat on bed half lying position and.. adi head's was on his lap... Abhijeet caressed his hairs.. But adi was restless**
**Abhijeet:** kya hua mere bete ko neend nahi aa rahi hai?
**Abhijeet asked lovingly Adi nodes no...**
**Abhijeet:** Kyu? papa thik se sula nahi pa rahe hai?
**Adi:** nahi wo.. aap wo lori sunnatey they wahi sunao.. na..
**A pain reflected in abhijeet's eyes**
**Abhijeet:** beta mujhe to yaad nahi mein kya.. aaj aasehi so jao please
**Adi:** nahi.. papa.. lori yaad karne ki kya zazurat hai.. mei aapki madad karta hun na.. haan wo kaise shuru hoti thi.. aa ri aa jaa...
**Abhijeet gave a teary smile and kissed his forehead**
**Abhijeet:** ankhe band..
**Adi closed his eyes...**
**Abhijeet patted his head an murmured some music without lyrics..**
**Adi smiled and.. soon drifted into deep sleep..**
**Abhijeet whispered** I am sorry beta really sorry bahut bure hai tumhare papa
**He made adi lie comfortably and moved out.. Abhijeet sat on sofa.. with closed eyes... He don't know when time passed after long he opened his eyes with** arey raat kaafi ho gayi.. adi utha nahi..
**He moved to adi's room.. sat beside him.. touched his hand.. he felt it is warm.. he touched his forehead.. and it was burning**
**Abhijeet:** Itni tej bukhar aa gaya ise.. Adi..
**He patted his cheeks..** beta adi...
**He said to himself** dawai.. per doctor se bina consult kiye.. doctor ka number..
**He was feeling helpless..**
**Abhijeet:** Adi.. beta ..
**He again patted his cheeks.. adi.. a little opened his eyes.. but closed back again..**
**Abhijeet:** Bahut taqleef horahi hai adi?
**He is really feeling helpless feeling like banging hard his head**
**Adi:** papa.. in low tone.. aap.. soh.. jao.. mai.. t.e.k.. **and closed his eyes again.. which were half open...**
**Abhijeet:** Kaisa baap hu mein mere bete ko aise mey bhi meri fiaqar aur mein.. haan phone book usme sayed number ho..
**He moved to hall.. But the doctors number present their is switched off.. he even searched for any name he had heard in this days as team of family but Abhijeet does not what to do.. Whom he should call and take advice from... He takes out a bowl full of chilled water some ice and moved to adi's room.. He started keeping the wet strips, feeling angry on himself, continuously trying the switched off number.. adi was mumbling something**
**Abhijeet:** Adi.. uthar jayega bhukar.. mai hun na...
**Adi was mumbling...**
**Adi:** papa.. tek.. yaad.. chachu.. mai rakunga khayal..
**Abhijeet patted** ha beta aapne bahut achese khayal rakha papa ka.. bahut achese...
**Adi holded his hand** maat jao papa.. maat jao...
**Abhijeet:** Nahi ja raha hu beta yeahi hu.. aap so jao.. mein yeahi hu... aapke pass hu.. so jao..
**Abhijeet changed the strip and was moving his fingers in adi's hairs Adi slept.. his fever went down a little **bhukar kum ho gaya par puri tarah se tek kaise hoga..
**Abhijeet:** Koi dawai.. per aise bina consult kiye... aur itni raat ko to.. **he looked at watch its 2 am...**
**He decided he have to wait till morning.. he stayed awake by adi.. after about an hour adi became restless.. Abhijeet saw him getting restless.. Abhijeet sat beside him.. **adi beta kya hua.. **Placing his** **hand on his head**
**Adi:** Paani.. papa pyaas.. pani
**Abhijeet:** Haan abhijeet poured the water in glass which was on side table and helped adi to drink yeh lo
**Adi lifted his head.. but he can't keep it lifted… It fell back on bed.. Abhijeet kept back the glass** mein abhie aya haan
**He moved to kitchen to bring a spoon.. He came back found adi trying to reach the glass making it fall on the ground.. Abhijeet came forward adi saw him**
**Adi:** Papa.. wo sorry.. mai bas
**Abhijeet:** Koi baat nahi beta tum leto.. mein deta hu paani..
**He drank him water with the spoon.. then noticed adi touching his head**
**Abhijeet:** sar mey dard hai?
**Adi nodes**
**Abhijeet:** Chalo aap ankhe band karo mein daba deta hu...
**Adi instead of closing his eyes looks around.. abhijeet asked** kya hua
**Adi says** papa raat kaafi hai na?
**Abhijeet:** Haan isliye toh keh raha hun ki soh jao
**Adi:** To aap nahi soyoge?
**Abhijeet:** Aap soh jao mai bhi soh jaunga chalo ab aankhein band karo
**Adi:** Aaap tab se jag rahe ho na?
**Abhijeet:** toh kya hua.. tum sawal bahut karte ho chalo aanke band karo
**Adi:** Nahi aap bhi leto.. nahi toh aapki tabiyet kharab ho jayegi na.. aur aapne dawai li? nahi liya hoga na.. mein.. **He lift up his head but it spinned and he was about to fall abhijeet grabbed him and lied him down **
**Abhijeet:** kaha na chup kerke so jao... baat kyu nahi mante?
**Adi:** Papa.. mai toh bas.. aap dawai nahi lengey toh aapki tabiyet..
**Abhijeet:** Meine tumhe aankh aur muh band kerne ko kaha...
**Adi made a sad face closed his eyes... Abhijeet pressed his head **mere liye itni fiaqar mat karo beta...
**Adi:** Kyu? aapki fiker hogi mujhe
**Abhijeet:** Acha babah thik hai, le liya meine dawai aab khush...
**Adi smiled.. and closed his eyes.. again and drifted into sleep abhijeet patting his forehead**
**Abhijeet got up.. **dawai to leni paregi aab bete se jhut bolna thik nahi, tab to ise utne bukhar mey dekh dhyan se hi nikal gaya...
**Abhijeet searched for his medicine took it..** lo beta le li maine dawai..
**Then he moved back to adi's room sat comfortably beside him and drifts in sleep due to medicine effect.. **
**Next morning adi woke up fist found Abhijeet still in sleep.. his fever is lower now but he is little dizzy so he decides to call abhijeet then remembered **papa ne sayed mere khne ki bad meds liye isilye effect abhie taq hai rehne deta hu
**The doctor comes he rings the bell...**
**Abhijeet woke up he found adi trying to get up**
lete raho... **He ordered and got up.. Abhijeet went and opened the door and doctor was there.. the doctor came in**
**Abhijeet:** Aap?
**Doctor:** Jee mai doctor anil
**Abhijeet:** Acha wo meine hi kal raat apko call kiya tha.. phone off aa raha tha
**Anil:** haan wo battery nahi tha subah charge kiya toh phirse phone aaya isliye mei aaya
**Abhijeet:** Subha phone?
**Anil:** Jee
**Abhijeet:** Per subha to meine call nahi kiya wo raat ko mere bete ko kaafi tej bukhar tha to.. khair ayiye ek bar dekh lijiye
**Doctor followed abhijeet to adi's room**
**Adi is sitting on bed.. Doctor told him to lay down.. adi laid down.. and doctor checks him... Adi was making faces.. Abhijeet looked at adi..**
**Abhijeet:** Muh mat banao chup chap lete raho
**Adi:** okay papa.. He said in a bit irritates tone… **Doctor finished his checking**
**Abhijee**t**:** Doctor adi tek hai na..
**Anil:** Jee bas chot ki wajase bukhar aa gaya tha.. he is fine.. ha ek din rest karega gher to behtar rahega
**Abhijeet:** Jee jaroor doctor.. kyu adi karogey na rest
**Adi got up with per papa**
**Abhijeet:** Kya per?
**Adi:** School
**Abhijeet:** School ki chutti bemar ho tum..
**Adi:** Per aaj cricket match..
**The doctor looked at adi in shock**
**Anil:** beta aap bemari mei cricket kelengey aapki tabiyat bigar jayegi
**Adi:** Arey yea to bas..
**He notices Abhijeet's glare lies down immediately**
**Doctor smiled..** aacha mei chalta hun.. take care... **and doctor leaves... After he left Adi said**
**Adi:** papa per cricket match.. mein captain
**Abhijeet:** toh? kaha na maine.. aaj nahi jaogey.. tum
**Adi:** Aap bahut jalim ho
**Abhijeet:** haan jalim toh jalim hi sahi.. chalo dawai lo aur soh jao
**Adi:** Sona nahi hai.. tv dekhna hai.. aur dudh nahi peena...
**Adi covered his head with blanket.. abhijeet hit his head lightly.. he went to him uncovered him..** kya kaha tumne.. **fake anger..**
**Adi:** Papa aap bahut bure ho.. lao kya khana hai..
**Abhijeet:** yeh.. hui na baat.. **abhijeet went brought milk** lo peeyo.. aur phir dawai bhi leni hai
**Adi made a face and drink it with medicines then looked at abhi** ek baat kahu
**Abhijeet:** kaho
**Adi:** Aj aap bahut fresh lag rahe ho... mere bimaar parne ka to bahut faida hua
**Abhijeet:** adi.. aisa kuch nahi hai.. tum mera itna khyal rakh rahe ho toh mujhe toh tek hona hi hai
**Adi:** Papa aap ko kal bura laga na? meine aap pey gussa dikhaya..
**He shifted his head on his father's lap**
**Abhijeet:** nahi.. beta.. mujhe bura nahi laga.. bas afsoos iss baat hai ki.. mei.. aapne pita hone ka farz nahi nibaha paa raha hun..
**Adi:** Nahi papa aap to sab ker rahe ho... aap mera itna khayal rakh rahe ho.. aur aapna kabhie aapki iss problem ki jimmedar khud ko mat manna...
**Abhijeet smiled..** khayal toh mei rakh raha hun.. par dekho na.. kuch bhi yaad nahi hai mujhe.. kuch bhi nahi...
**Adi:** Papa firse? kaha na meine aap kuch nahi sochenge?
**He sat up on the bed with annoyed expression**
**Abhijeet:** aacha.. tek nahi sochta kuch..
**Adi didn't looked at him and looked away**
**Abhijeet:** adi naraz.. ho kya papa se..
**Adi:** Hmmmm... aapne mujhe dudh peela diya aur khud ka kya? jaiye breakfast kijiye fir subha wali dawai lijiye fir mujhe aapse kuch mangna hai..
**Abhijeet:** joh hukum sarkar..
**Adi smiled...abhijeet left...**
**He came back after some hours found adi coming back from washroom after having bath**
**Abhijeet:** nahkar aa gaye..
**Adi:** Papa wo bandage...
**Abhijeet:** aao baitho mei badal deta hun
**Adi:** Nahi.. mein khud ker lunga na.. aap kerte ho to dard hota hai
**Abhijeet:** Toh bata nahi saktey ab karunga toh dard nahi hoga
**Adi:** Nahi aab jab bhi krte ho dard hota hai... pichle saal jab haath mey fracture..
**He stops...**
**Adi:** Sorry papa wo bas.. change ker dijiye..
**Abhijeet:** Pichle saal kya hua tha?
**Adi:** Wo nahi fir se daant denge aap
**Abhijeet:** Batao adi nahi daaantunga
**Adi:** Pichle saal mein tracking gaya tha haat fracture ker ke lauta to aapne uss halat mei bhi itna daanta... mummy ko bhi daant diya.. chachu ko kuch kehne bhi nahi diya unhe sidha gher bej diya fir jab haath ki exercise kerwana tha fir kitna dard hua per aap sune hi nahi..
**Adi made a sorrow face**
**Abhijeet:** Maine yeh sab kiya
**Adi:** Haa aap mujhe bahut dante they... chachu bhi darte hai aapse..
**Then made a proud face** per mein nahi darta..
**Adi:** Arey haan papa mujhe aapse kuch mangna tha
**Abhijeet:** Haan kya mangna hai tumhe
**Adi:** Aap ko bura to nahi lagega?
**Abhijeet:** Nahi bola na tum
**Adi:** Mujhe bahar dinner kerne jana hai.. meine aapke accident wale din hi plan kiya tha per.. aab aap thik ho, to isliye...
**Abhijeet:** bahar dinner..
**Adi:** Haan pata hai aap bahar nahi jana chate ho per kyu papa aap aise gher mei atak ke rehenge to kya sab thik ho jayega?
**Abhijeet nodes no..**
**Adi:** Papa please... chaloge na
**Abhijeet:** tek hai..
**Adi:** Thank you papa
**Adi plunged on him hugging him tightly and** **a** ahhh **escaped adi's mouth**
**Abhijeet:** adi.. aaram se.. chalo pehle bandage badal lo..
**Adi:** Hmmm... aaram se.. kerna na pls...
**Abhijjet gave him a tough look adi moved his t shirt.. Abhijeet slowly and carefully started changing his bandage.. Then they did their lunch and abhi found adi very excited about dinner but abhijeet is sacred inside.. he don't know why but he is feeling restless… hours passed and they left for restaurant**
**A/N: hmm.. so father and son chale.. bahar.. kya hoga? Dekhtey jao.. but review pls… mai aapko bata deti hun yeh story bhi short hoga.. plz do review.. jab tak 165 cross nahi hote no update.. aur iss baar mei serious hun.. so silent readers.. plz.. jago aur review karo… **
7. Chapter 7
**A/N: thank you for your reviews… **
**At restaurant an old man who got up.. was about to fall.. someone grabbed him… **
**Person:** aap tek hai..
**Old man:** haan.. mai.. tek hun.. **then the old man looked at him… the old man smiled..** abhijeet..
**Abhijeet looked at the man.. man continues.. **abhijeet.. itne saalo baad mile ho.. kaise ho tum.. aur tumhari maa.. kaisi hai.. itne time bhul gaye kya mujhe.. **abhijeet fails to recognize the person…**
**Abhijeet:** aap.. kaun.. mujhe.. **the old person looked at him shockingly..**
**Old person:** abhijeet tum mujhe nahi pehchante
**Abhijeet:** jee mein...
**Old person:** Ha pechnano ge bhi kyu jab tumhari maa ne hi rishta tor diya.. ek waqt tha... khair tum pehchan na nahi cahte koi baat nahi aaj kal ke bache waise bhi kaha pehchanne ki koshish karte hai humhe.. **the old man moves from there…**
**Abhijeet feels..** aisa kyu lag raha hai aisa kuch pehle bhi hua hai mere saath…
**Adi had seen his father helping an old man and both having a conversation but he didn't cared much.. he was listening to the music played there.. After some moments he noticed abhijeet coming back to their table but his face seems lost.. Adi was about to say something when abhijeet sat down on the chair tiredly**
"papa kya hua?"
**Abhijeet looked towards him but didn't respond as if he didn't grasped what adi told adi repeated** "papa aap thik ho?"
**Abhijeet nodded** "haan.. mein.. thik hu.." **his words are confused and broken he rested his elbow on the table touching his forehead..** "order kiya tumne?"
"nahi.. aap ke saar mei dard hai?"
"haan?" **abhijeet seems totally un attentive**
"aapke sar mei dard ho raha hai?"
"nahi.. nahi to"
"fir aap sar kyu dawa rahe hai?"
**Suddenly abhijeet got irritated** "kaha na thik hu.. kya hai.. dinner order karo aur.."
**Adi cut him with** "mujhe nahi karna dinner chaliye"
**Abhijeet looked at him adi already got up from his chair**
**Abhijeet tried** "beta mein wo.."
**Adi silently nodded with** "chaliye aap.."
**He moved towards the gate.. abhijeet helplessly followed glancing once more towards that man.. He got a high pinch of pain in his head.. They took a cab and moved to home.. On the way abhijeet is continuously getting those scenes as if a movie running in front of his eyes.. **
**Who is that lady... that man.. those people..**
**He unintentionally murmured** "wo log.."
**Adi was silently looking at the road till now turned to him with this abhijeet is having sweats over his forehead his eyes are enough to tell he is having a storm inside..**
**Adi thought** "aisa kya hua restro mei.. per abhie papa se puchunga to aur panic ho jayenge.. gher pahuch ke hi.."
**He silently kept his hand over abhijeet's lap.. Abhijeet jerked rather badly..**
"papa?"
"haan kuch nahi.. thik hu.."
**The cab reached home… adi got down with** papa purse dijiye...
**Abhijeet silently handed over the purse and moved to the main door.. After giving the fair adi moved to the gate and found abhijeet still standing there staring at the nameplate strangely**
**Adi felt alarm inside** "papa aapne darwaja nahi khola.."
**Abhijeet looked at him..** "haan wo sorry.."
**He pulled out the key and after entering moved inside.. he said in a low tone **"tum fresh ho jao.. kuch bana.."
"papa aap baithiye..."
**Abhijeet didn't argue he sat down.. adi moved inside abhijeet leaned back on headrest with closed eyes.. Adi came back with medicine after some time.. abhijeet was clutching his head tightly in his both hands sweating profusely.. adi kept down the medicine and the glass and sat beside..** "papa kya hua? dard ho raha hai aapko?"** he asked in a tensed tone.. **
**Abhijeet opened his eyes then again tightly closed it with** "adi.. wo.. pain.. killer..wo.."
**Adi handed him the medicine with **"yea lijiye.."
**He gulped the medicine and whole glass of water in a go then said **"fridge... mei... dudh hoga tum.. pilena.." **he is having difficulty in speaking so adi stopped him** "ha mein ker lunga sab... aap kamre mei chalo.."
**He pulled abhijeet's hand abhijeet signaled him to stop** "bad... mei chala.. jaunga.. tum.. jao.. jake.."
**he closed his eyes again.. Adi looked at abhijeet for some minutes then silently sat beside him and placed his head on abhijeet's shoulder** "sorry papa.. I am really sorry.." **his tone turned teary **"mein jid na kerta to aap.."
**Abhijeet opened his eyes** "nahi beta kuch nahi hua mujhe.. mein thik hu.." **it's evident from his voice that he is forcing it to be normal**
**Adi said in extreme low tone** "sar mei dard to hai na? tabiyet kharab lag to rahi hai na?"
**Abhijeet tried to smile.. he wrapped on of his hand around** **adi** "pata nahi.. kuch yaad ate ate chut raha hao bas.. lagta hao aab kabhie kuch yaad hi nahi ayega.."
**Adi looked up then placed back his head on the shoulder lightly and hugged abhijeet by waist** "sab aajayega yaad.. bas aap chinta mat kijiye samjhe?"
**Abhijeet smiled.. somewhere he is feeling relaxed with the feeling of having his son around to him.. he was moving his hand over adi's head and by the passing time adi slept there itself in the position**
**Abhijeet after some time felt adi's grip loosened and breathing deep looked at him** "arey aise hi so gaya? khaya bhi nahi kuch.. uff mera khyal rakhna aata hai aapna nahi.."
**He tried to freed himself and lift adi but adi holds him tightly with a sleepy murmur** as "sone do na papa.."
**Abhijeet smiled under his teeth and after making adi more comfortable leaned back in his position..** "beta kamre mei chalna hai na?"
"bad mei.." **adi murmured sleepily and snuggled cozily towards Abhijeet.. Abhijeet sighed and patted him back to sleep.. himself also leaning back moved to dreamland**
_**Beta mein tumhari ma hu beta...**_
_**Beta mujhe nahi pehchante**_
_**tum abhijeet ho abhijeet.. cid ki senior inspector**_
_**sir aap koshish to kijiye**_
_**beta abhijeet beta.. abhijeeet**_
**Abhijeet jerked open his eyes... his whole body jerked loudly making adi awaken..**
**Abhijeet is panting heavily** "kaun hai yea log.. yea..."
**Adi looked around.. he neded some time to grasp the situation then heard the murmur.. he turned to his father… Adi after grasping the situation looked at his father and touched his arm lightly** "papa"
**Abhijeet looked at him with blank eyes.. He repeated again **"papa kya hua?"
**Abhijeet looked around** "nahi bas.. wo... sab..."
**He got up adi confusingly asked** "kaha jaa rahe hai papa?"
"kuch nahi.." **abhijeet answered rather vacantly adi got up**
"papa ko firse flashes aa rahe hai sayed.. per.."
**He noticed abhijeet taking out the painkillers once again he moved in his room** "papa aapne tab bhie painkiller liya... aab firse.. kya hua bataiye na pls..."
**Abhijeet said in a rude tone** "tum apne kamre mei jao please.. aur jake so jao.."
"per papa.." **adi said..**
"kaha na meine jao.." **a bit loud**
**Adi moved to his room dejected.. Abhijeet sat down on his bed helpless**
"kaun hai wo log.. wo sab.. mujhe apna beta keh rahi thi.. meri ma per.. mein apne ma ko pehchan nahi raha hu kyu.. kya tab bhi mujhe.. ahhh yea sar dard.. pagal ho jaunga.. kuch yaad bhi.. aaj restro mei bhi.."
**He paused..**
"adi ko meine aise daant diya.. wo to tab bhi waise hi so gaya tha.. lunch ke bad se usne kuch khaya bhi nahi.. mein sach mei kaisa baap hu.."
**He banged his hand hard on the bed.. Adi was.. standing at the door hiding.. and listening… **
**He came in angrily with a glass of water** "yea lijiye.."
**Abhijeet looked at him... he drank the water... Adi understood by his way of drinking that he is still not relaxed but maintained his anger as** "painkiller nahi liya aapne?"
**Abhijeet a bit low tone..** "wo.. adi.. nahi.. mei.."
"kyu le lijiye... mein kaha disturb ker raha hu... chachu mujse puchnge to keh dunga mein kuch kahu to aapko bura lagta hai.. mumma ajaye to bol dunga aapko apne bete ki fiqar hi nahi.."
**Abhijeet looked down..**
**Adi sat in front of him** "papa kya hua restro mei? tab se aap pareshan ho... abhie neend se bhi aise uth gaye.. boliye na?"
**Abhijeet:** adi.. wo.. aadmi.. ne mujhe.. yaad nahi.. tha.. kaun hai wo.. phir.. mujhe.. wo sapne.. ek aurat.. aur.. wo aadmi.. dekhtey.. mai kisi ko nahi pehchan paa raha hun..
**Abhijeet looked helplessly at adi**
**Adi got up and sat beside him** "papa uss admi ko to mein bhi nahi pehchnta.."
**Abhijeet suddenly turned to him** "adi ek baat bologe?"
**Adi:** jee..
**Abhijeet:** mujhe yea problem pehle bhi hua tha kya? haan? mein pehli bhi sab bul chuka tha?"
**Adi:** papa.. wo..
**Abhijeet:** bolo na adi mein pehle bhi... mujhe aisa lagta hai mein aise hi sab bhul... pls.. bolo na.."
**He asked in earnest tone grabbing adi's palms.. **
**Adi:** papa haan aap sab kuch bhul chuke they..
"kya.. fir.. fir mujhe sab yaad aya tha na? haan sab yaad ker paya tha na mein? meri ma bol rahi thi.. meine unhe pehchana tha na? sab.. yaad? bolo na chup kyu ho?" **abhijeet is in total panic he is not totally in senses**
**Adi:** papa.. aap plz.. aisa.. aap shant ho jayiye..** he pressed abhijeet's arms.. his pov: **papa ko kaise.. sach batau mei.. fir to wo aur tut jayenge.. per ager jhut bolu to jo sare sawal honge wo kya karu?
Abhijeet tries again "please kaho na aya tha na yaad? meine sabko pehchan liya tha na? aaj uss admi ne bhi kaha mein jan bujhke ker raha hu aise.. per sach mei mujhe.. bolo na aya tha na yaad?"
**Adi:** papa.. wo.. aapko yaad.. nahi aaya tha kuch..
**Abhijeet looked at adi.."**nah.. nahi aya...? fir... mein kab..hie unhe pehchan nahi paya? mein tumhe bhi kabhie fir pehchan nahi paunga? iss bar bhi yaad nahi ayega.. kuch yaad nahi ayega.."
**He mumbled** "sab sochte hai mein jan bujhke.. uss admi ne bhi yeahi kaha.. per sach mei mujhe yaad hi nahi.. yaad aayega bhi nahi.."
**Adi:** nahi papa.. aap himaat maat haro.. aapko sab yaad aa jayega.. i am with you na papa.. mai hun aapke saath.. mai janta hun ki janbujhke nahi hai.. aapko sab yaad aa jaeyga..
**Abhijeet looked at him helplessly** "uss bar yaad nahi aya.. ager abhie yaaad na aye? ayega na? yaad?"
**Adi nodded** "ha ayega na papa sab yaad ajayega.. per aap itna stress lenge to aapki tabiyet bigar jayegi na?"
**abhijeet nodes..**
"fir abhie aap yea sab soch na choriye.. aur so jaiye.." **caring tone..**
**Abhijeet:** per mein..
**Adi:** please papa...
**Abhijeet lied down but was touching his head continuously and is restless** "mujhe kab yaad ayega sab?" **he asked in a whisper**
**Adi:** jaldi aa jayega papa..
**Abhijeet closed his eyes** "pata nahi.." **he sighed** "sorrry.. tum mere liye.. jao tum.. yea sapna wagera to.. bas.."
**Adi kept his hand on his head..** aap soh jao papa.. mai hun.. yahi..
**Abhijeet turned away his face he needs to hide his tears..**
**Adi understood.. pov:** janta hun papa.. mei aapne udhar kyu muh fher liya..
**He lied down beside his father burying his face in his father's chest.. Abhijeet silently wrapped him tightly in his arms.. He felt his son as a shelter for him now.. Adi mumbled** "papa aapka beta hai na aapke pass.. aap bilkul tension na lo.."
**Abhijeet:** ha beta aap ho.. chalo aab jake fridge se dudh pilo leke.. fir aake so jao.. please khud lelo..
**Adi nodded got up and moved abhijeet sighed **"pichli bar ka pata nahi.. iss bar to yaad aana hi hoga.."
**A/N: thank you so much please review.. mai bahut hi disappointed hun.. itne kum reviews se.. next chapter mei Thursday post karungi.. agar aise hi.. chalta raha.. agar… 200 ho gaya toh Monday chapter mil jayega… warna.. Thursday… **
8. Chapter 8
**Next morning.. abhijeet woke up.. He looks beside him where adi is sleeping making his arm his pillow.. Abhijeet smiled.. he slowly.. tried to remove his arm so he does not disturb his sleep..**
Uhun.. sone do na papa.. sunday hai.. **Mumbled adi and placed his head more comfortably**
**Abhijeet:** beta.. mujhe isliye toh aaram se haath nikal raha hun.. mujhe.. toh uthne doh.. tum sojao..
Aap bhi ayo.. **he grabbed his hand tightly..** Mummy ker legi..
**Abhijeet:** beta mummy yaha nahi hai..
**Adi half opened his eyes** wo haan acha.. **He moves to the other side of bed resulting in falling down of blanket and freeing abhijeet**
**Abhijeet smiled..** blanket bhi ger diya.. abhijeet got up.. **pick up the blanket and covered adi..who moved in his morning sleep soon..abhijeet freshens up.. and then moves to kitchen..**
**He thinks** aaj adi ka favourite kuch.. then he stops mujhe to yea bhi nahi pata ki mere bete ka favorite kya hai..
**But he feels like he had heard something related to this.. he tries to remember..**
**A distant voice**
"_arey mummy aap choti ma jaise gobi ki parathe kyu nahi banati?"_
"_Bengan cheee... chana banao na mummy"_
**He felt this words around him but..nothing is clear... he feels pain in his head..**
Ahh.. firse yea dard... yaad karne ki koshish kerte hi yea..
**He drinks a glass of water and relaxes himself..then again thinks what to make.. **kya banao.. paratha.. kya? banau.. bana hi leta hu.. wahi gobi ke parathe
**Then he starts making gobi paratha... After some time adi wakes up and peep in the kitchen with papa** khusbu arahi hai.. kya ho raha hai
**Abhijeet:** gobi ka paratha ban raha hai..
**Adi:** Wow.. mera fav.. he touches one hot paratha with his finger then hopped back with ahhhii
**Abhijeet:** adi.. garam hai.. jaal gaya na haath... itni bhi kya jaldi hai..
**Adi:** Arey samne dekha to.. aap nahi samajhoge chachu pey gya hu na..
**Abhijeet looked at adi who was putting his finger in running water **
**He asked amazingly** "wo bhi aisa kerta hai?"
**Adi answered..** haan.. papa.. chachu humehsa aisa hi karte hai aur bhi aap unhe aise hi daant tey ho.. chachu phir bhi nahi mantey.. **smiled naughtily..**
Fir tumse kya kahu.. **Abhijeet sighed** jab itna bara hoke mera bhai hi aisa hai toh beta se kya kehna..
**Adi asked in an eager tone** abhie kya kaha apne?
**Abhijeet:** maine kya kaha.. kuch galat kaha kya
**Adi:** Nahi aap yea baat pehli bhi bolte they isi andaj mey... sachie
**Abhijeet:** sach mei.. par mujhe toh yaad nahi...
**Adi:** Ha hum dono ne milke kuch qarnama kiya tha.. choti ne aapse sikayet ki to aapne yeahi kaha tha.. papa aap bahut jald thik ho jayenge... wow...
**Abhijeet smiled..** qarnama.. kya qarnama kiya.. tha.. bade ne aur chote ne..
Kya papa aap bhi.. mujhe fresh hona hai nahi batata jaiye.. **He smiled shyly**
**Abhijeet smiled... soon adi came back.. and.. enjoyed the.. gobi ke parathe.. made by his father..**
**Adi:** Waise aappko yea banane ki kyu suji? **He was realizing his dish while asking**
**Abhijeet:** kyu nahi bana sakta mei..
**Adi:** Nahi per aap ko to yea pasand nahi to achanq...
**Abhijeet:** wo pata nahi.. mujhe aisa laga ki jaise.. koi keh raha hai.. gobi ke parathe kyu nahi banaye...
**Adi:** Mein hi kehta tha yea..papa aab aap dekhna aapko sab yaad ajayega
**Abhijeet:** haan mai bhi yahi chahta hun..
**Adi smiled..** then abhi asked adi groceries kis dukan se aata hai
**Adi:** papa pass mei hi..dukan hai.. grocery ke naam se waha se
**Abhijeet:** Okkk... tumhe aaj kahi jana nahi haina? fir gher mei ruko mein hoke ata hu..
**Adi:** haan par mai bhi chalta hun na aapke saath
**Abhijeet:** Aur parai kaun karega? do din se books ki saath naata tor ke baithe ho
**Adi made sad face.** tek hai jaata hun.. par aap jaldi aa jaana
**Abhijeet pats his cheeks lightly** aap na mujhe leke jyada hi tension lete ho..
**Adi:** Arey tension toh hogi hi.. chachu mummy nahi hai and maine chachu and mummy ko promise kiya hai
**Abhijeet:** Aap apne chachu ki baat bare mante ho na?
**Adi:** Haan manta hun
**Abhijeet:** Ek baat bolo aapke chachu mere matlab.. wo mere bhai hai?
**Adi:** Wo aapke bahut aache dost hai par aapke bhai se kum nahi hai wo
**Abhijeet:** Ha wo pata chala tha hospital mei.. pata nahi kya mission ker raha hoga... Acha jao tum mein nikalta hu.. kuch cahiye?
**Adi:** Nahi kuch nahi chahiye
**Abhijeet**: Jao parai karo jake.. tension lene mat baith jana
**Adi:** Tek hai papa nahi lunga tension…
**And adi goes to his room.. Abhijeet moves out.. He went to the grocery shop… There he finds two people trying to snatch a purse from a lady unknowingly his cop instincts get alerted.. He went to help the lady.. Abhijeet slaps the snatcher.. and grabs the purse from him.. the other one runs away..**
**Abhijeey:** chori..
**Person:** maaf kardo jaane doh **and the person leave from there.. He returns the bag**
**Abhijeet:** yeh lijiye aapka bag.. **the lady smiles..**
**Lady:** Abhijeet sir thank you so much
**Abhijeet:** Aap janti hai mujhe?
**Lady:** Sir aap aise kyu baat kar rahe hai mai neha.. aapne meri madad ki thi pehle bhi kuch mahine pehle hi
**Abhijeet:** Jee wo acha...
**He is feeling awkward..**
**Abhijeet:** Okk mein chalta hu
**Neha:** sir aise kaise rukiye na mai aapse milna chah rahi thi
**Abhijeet:** Jee kahiye
**Nahea:** Aapne usa aadmi ko pakra na uska koi toh hai mujhe bahut pareshan kar raha hai wo... aap plz madad kijiye meri
**Abhijeet:** Aadmi? Abhijeet cabn't recall anyting.. acha aap police mey kyu nahi jati... wo behtar rahega
**Neha was shocked...** sir aap aisa kyu keh rahe hai aap hi ne kaha tha na ji jaab bhi jarurat ho mujhe yaad karna
**Abhijeet:** Mein wo.. dekhiye mein bas mein milta hu aapse please
**Neha:** Sir aap seedhe seedhe bolyie na aap meri maadat nahi karna chahtey.. aapka kaam hota hai logo ki madad karna aaur aaap hai ki.. after a pause for few seconds… suna tha Senior Inspector Abhijeet aapne wado ka paaka hai.. aaj dekh bhi liya...
**She stormed out abhijeet stood there silently then moved back to home.. abhijeet was walking.. his mind was not alert.. he was thinking what the lady said.. her words were roaming in his minds… He didn't hear the car horn… And he gets hit by the car… **
**Here a person was talking with a person..**
**Person:** kya baat hai daya.. tumhara mission toh kal khatam ho raha hai… tum khush nahi ho…
**Daya:** haan.. kal mission khatam ho raha hai.. iss baat ki khushi hai.. par tension bhi ho rahi hai mujhe… pata nahi kyu?
**Person:** mai chalta hun kaam hai mujhe.. jyda tension maat lo tum.. and the person.. leaves… daya.. was tensed…
**Daya:** pata nahi abhijeet kaisa hoga? Adi ussey kaise sambal raha hoga ussey itne din.. aisa lag raha hai jaise.. koi aapna musibat mei hai.. kahi abhijeet… nahi daya.. kya kuch bhi sochtey ho… adi hai uske pass.. kya hoga.. ussey.. par phir bhi… ab kal jaake hi pata chalega… mai aa raha hun boss.. kal.. **daya was still tensed… and here abhijeet was.. lying.. on the road.. His mind flashed adi's face in front of him before he turned unconscious.. **
**A/N: oh no.. aab kya hoga.. dekhtey hai next chapter mei.. plz review.. :) thank you so much to all.. next chapter after 220.. plz.. review.. :) take care… **
9. Chapter 9
**A/N: thank you so much for your reviews.. here is the next chapter… **
**Abhijeet was lying on the road.. down head... the person who's car.. abhiejet got hit.. he came out..**
**Person:** My god inhe to gehri chot.. per police case ho jayega.. mein.. **He was afraid **par issey marne ke liye bhi nahi chod sakta yaha.. kya karu mei... **He decides to take the person to hospital then move out form there… he takes him to the hospital... Abhijeet is being carried in stretcher.. and doctor comes.. he is shocked to see the person...** abhijeet.. sir.. yeh chot.. **He takes him in and orders to call cid bureau..**
**At bureau.. phone rings.. rajat picks up.. **
**Rajat:** hello cid bureau..
**Person:** sir.. hum city hospital se bol rahe hai..
**Rajat:** hospital se..
**Person:** haan.. wo aapke saath inspector abhijeet.. yaha.. zakhmi.. laaye gaye hai.. aap sab.. turant aa jayie..
**Rajat was shocked..** kya? hum.. abhi aate hai.. **and he cuts the call.. acp comes seeing rajat tensed look… **
**Acp:** kya hua rajat..
**Rajat:** sir.. abhijeet sir.. hospital mei..
**Acp:** kya? hospital.. chalo jaldi.. **and all leave.. towards hospital.. all were tensed… they arrived in hospital.. a nurse comes out.. **
**Rajat:** nurse.. wo sir..
**Nurse:** doctor.. is handling him.. abhi kuch nahi..keh sakti mei.. **and she leaves..**
**Freddy: s**ir mujhe bahut tension ho rahi hai..
**Here adi is looking at the time**.. itne dher ho gayi papa abhi tak aaye nahi.. **he gets tensed...**
**Even team thought that** jab taq abhi ko leke confirm news na mile adi koi nahi batayega…
**Rajat:** sir.. aapko lagta hai adi se chupana tek hoga..
**Acp**: rajat.. pata nahi.. par filhal kuch nahi kehna usse…
**Adi moves out of home to go to the shop.. he goes to the shop and ask him whether his dad came here.. the shopkeeper tells him what happened here.. Adi tensely moves out but he can't get anything he moves back to his home… **
**Adi to himself..** papa kaha chale gaye aap.. **he was super tensed...** kahi phirse aapko sar dard.. nahi.. Per ager aisa hua to? papa ko to bahut dard.. per fir raste se kaha gaye wo... chachu... aap ajao na? papa kho gaye hai.. kaise dundhu mai unhe.. aa jao na chachu.. plz.. **He started crying**
**Here daya was packing his stuffs… **
itni din baad jaa raha hun.. pata nahi adi ne kaise abhi ko sambala hoga.. sab tek toh hoga na.. aisa lag raha hai jaise koi mujhe bula raha hai... Abhi ne adi se kaise behave kiya hoga.. abhi to aise mei bahut jald panic ho jata hai.. adi ne.. kaise kiya hoga yeh sab.. koi nahi ab mai aa raha hun na hum dono milke sambal lengey ussey..
**Adi tensely dials Acp sirs number..** haa dadu ko call krta hu
**He calls.. acp sees the call id.. adi ka phone.. he picks up..** haan adi beta..
**Adi:** Dadu papa kahi chale gaye.. wo samaan lene nikle they abhie aye nahi.. mujhe papa ko akele jane hi nahi dena tha.. dadu kuch kijiye na
**Acp:** adi. aapke papa.. wo.. **Then acp sir decides that no he can't tell.. so says **wo ajayenge beta.. mein dekhta hu
**Adi:** haan dadu.. jaise bhi pata chale mujhe batana.. bahut chinta ho rahi hai mujhe...
**Acp:** Haan beta bilkul aap tension na lo
**Adi:** dadu tension toh hogi hi.. kahi unhe phirse sar dard na hua ho aur wo.. behosh.. ho gaye ho.. aap jaldi se dundho unhe.. plz..
**Acp**: Ha beta..** It's now getting difficult for Acp sir he cut the call**
**Adi:** dadu ne ek dun phone kyu kat diya.. papa.. kaha ho aap... **He was crying there**
**Daya boarded the plane.. He is feeling something like a pain.. he is feeling tensed** kuch galat ho raha hai.. abhi.. adi.. sab tek toh honge na..
**A lady meets a child… **
**Lady:** kya hua beta…
**Child:** aunty wo raat hai hai na.. mai akela.. hota hun… mei.. papa kaam se.. bahar hote hai…
**Lady:** aur aapki mummy…
**Child:** mummy.. nani keg her gayi hui hai…
**Tarika remembers… abhijeet spending many nights at bureau… She is feeling tensed**
Adi kahi akela to nahi hoga? abhi duty ki beech waqt de payega use? khud se leke to khata bhi nahi.. abhi pata nahi kab laut ta hoga…. Adi beta sorry... **she says looking at his picture in phone**
**Adi was really tensed so he calls rajat**
**Rajat:** haan adi beta..
**Adi:** Mama aap log kaha ho?
**He can hear some announcement at the background**
**Rajat:** adi.. hum wo.. bureau ke kaam se.. bahar hai..
**Adi:** Mama papa ka kuch pata chala?
**Rajat:** nahi.. adi.. hum lage hue hai pata lagane mei.. aap chinta maat karo jaise hi sir ka kuch pata chalta hai mai aapko phone karke bata dunga..
**Adi:** Mama aap sab kuch chupa to nahi rahe ho na?
**Rajat**: adi.. nahi.. hum kya chupayengey...
**Adi: **Mama.. pls papa ko jaldi dhundiye na
**Rajat:** haan adi dhund rahe hai
**Adi:** Ok mama rakhta hu
**Rajat cuts the call.. **
**Adi: **aisa kyu lag raha hai mujhe jaise sab mujhse kuch chupa rahe hai.. aur peeche.. yeh awaas.. papa… kaha ho aap.. bahut fikar ho rahi hai mujhe.. apki…
**Here.. all are.. waiting.. for operation to get over.. after.. a long wait.. doctor comes… **
**Acp:** doctor.. abhijeet…
**Doctor:** sir.. wo filhal tek hai.. sar pe.. chot hai.. unke hosh mei aane se pehle mei kuch nahi bata sakta..
**Doctor leaves.. and.. team.. now waits.. for abhijeet.. to get conscious.. after 2 hours… daya's flight lands… and.. nurse informs.. all.. about abhijeet… coming into his senses.. all move in.. and.. same time.. adi's phone rings… **
**A/N: thank you so much.. for your reviews… wow.. iss baar.. aapne itne reviews.. de kar.. mujhe khush kar diya… next chapter bhi jaldi post karungi.. 260 cross hone ke baad.. I kept my promise.. I updated.. aap bhi jaldi se review kardo… waiting.. abhi short ke kaam chala lo next wala.. pakka.. bada chapter hoga.. sorry haan.. par suspense mei chodke jaana padh raha hai**
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10. Chapter 10
**A/N: thank you so much.. friends… here is the chapter… **
**Adi phone rings.. adi picks up the call.. **
**Adi:** hello..
**Daya:** hello adi.. kaise ho tum.. aur abhijeet…
**Adi:** chachu..
**Daya:** kya baat hai adi.. tum pareshan kyu.. ho..
**Adi:** chachu.. wo papa… **and he tells everything… in.. tension.. daya was shocked..**
**Daya:** adi.. tum.. roh maat.. mai aa raha hun.. dund lunga tumhare papa ko.. kuch nahi hoga..
**Adi:** chachu aap jaldi aa jao.. plz.. **and cuts the call….**
**Daya immediately hires a cab and rushes to home on the way his mind tells** abhi ko to pura team dhund hi raha hoga pehle adi ki pass jata hu.. wo akela...
**He reaches home.. rings the bell.. adi rushes to door.. thinking..** papa... aa gaye..
**He opens the door and seeing daya plunge on him** chachu mein.. mein wada nahi nibha paya.. chachu
**Daya:** nahi adi.. beta aisa nahi kehtey.. aapne kuch nahi kiya.. aa jayengey aapke papa.. mai aa gaya hun na...
**Adi:** Chachu pata hai mujhe lagta hai mama kuch chupa rahe they aap baat karo na mama se.. please...
**Daya:** aacha.. mai baat karta hun..
**Doctor comes.. and tells them abhijeet getting conscious.. all smile.. and.. enter in...**
**Abhijeet opens his eyes with** "adi..."
**Then looks around sees his team he tried to sit up with** "sir.. mein.. yeaha.."
**Acp smiles**.. abhijeet.. lethe raho.. dard hoga..
**Abhijeet:** Sir mein thik hu.. then suddenly in an urgency sir adi gher pey akela hoga.. use kuch pata hai?
**Acp:** nahi.. abhijeet.. humne ussey kuch nahi bataya abhie
**Abhijeet:** Thank god.. per sir wo pareshan hoga aap use ek bar phone lagaiye...
**Acp sir nodded.. But before that only rajat's phone rang… rajat picked up the phone..** hello..
**Daya: **Hello rajat..
**Rajat recognized the voice** sir aap... **He look at others and whispered** daya sir.. **then says in phone sir** aap kab aye...
**Abhijeet extended his hand signalling him to give the phone.. rajat gave him the phone... Abhijeet keeps it on ears hears two voices as** meri choro yea batao abhi ka kuch **and another meek voice as** chachu dadu se bhi ek baar baat karlo na..
**Abhijeet sighed with** daya...
**Daya:** abhi... tum tek ho.. kaha ho.. kaise ho..
**Abhijeet:** Saans lele.. aur adi ko phone dey pehle
**Daya:** haan karo baat aapne bete se.. kitna.. gabra hua hai.. wo
**Daya handover phone to him.. Adi took the phone with** papa aap kaha ho thik ho na aap?
**Abhijeet answered softly** ha beta bilkul thik hu.. aap tension nahi lena thik hai... mein abhie to gher nahi aa paunga jald hi aa jaunga thik hai?
**Adi:** kyu? papa.. aap kyu nahi aa paogey? batao.. na
**Abhijeet:** Beta wo... haan wo bas ek jaruri kaam... aap tension nahi lo.. bas beta kal taq
**He felt Acp's glare so corrected with** ek do din beta bas.. acha aab aap chachu ko phone do..
**Adi gave phone to daya..** abhi yaar.. kaha ho tum
**Abhijeet:** Pehle adi ki pas se hat...
**Daya moved a side..** lo hat gaya.. ab batao..
**Abhijeet:** Mein hospital mei hu.. kyu yea filal mujhe bhi samajh nahi aaya..
**Daya:** kya? hospital.. mai aa raha hun
**Abhijeet:** Chup... bilkul nahi.. kahi nahi ayega tu.. waha ruk adi ke pass.. bikul hspital ki ass pass mandrate na dekhu
**Team can't help but gave a laughter**
**Daya:** lo.. daanta tumhe chahiye.. ulta mujhe daant par rahi hai... beta.. gher wapas aa tu.. phir dekh kaise... badla leta hun mei
**Abhijeet:** Haa fir dekhna abhie gher pey hi ruko.. jab aa jaunga jo jo sunana hai suna lena.. aur abhie adi ko kuch mat batana **Then he disconnected the call.. Then turns to acp sir with** sir mein yeaha kaise?
**Acp:** abhijeet.. ek chota sa accident ho gaya tha.. tumhara
**Abhijeet:** Ha sir wo car. .mein adi ko school pahucha ke laut raha tha.. per sir... kuch ajeeb sa lag raha hai
**Acp:** abhijeet.. wo accident.. ek mahiney pehle hua tha..
**Abhijeet:** What? **Shocked **fir yea ek mahine?
**Acp:** wo.. tumhara memory loss..
**Abhijeet sighed then asked sir** adi? wo?
**Acp:** haan.. adi ne hi tumhe sambala hua tha
**Abhijeet:** Per sir wo aise...
**Acp:** yeh tum aapne bete se hi puchna..
**Abhijeet:** Per sir aap logo ne mujhe gher kyu..
**Acp:** tum hospital mei kaha rukne wale they.. itna bawaal macha diya tha tumne.. daya mission pe nahi jaane wala tha.. par adi ne kaha ki wo sambal lega
**Abhijeet:** Kuch jyada hi bara ho gaya.. tarika ko pata hai?
**Acp:** nahi tarika ko nahi pata kuch
**Abhijeet:** Thank god.. Sir mujhe chutti cahiye
**Acp was shocked..** abhijeet.. nahi..
**Abhijeet:** Please sir.. tab maan liya to abhie bhi man lijiye
**Acp:** tek hai tumse koi nahi jeet sakta..
**Abhijeet:** Jee sir to formalities?
**Acp:** haan mai aata hun
**Acp** **does some formalities and.. returns...** lo ho gaya tumhara kaam ab jaa sakte ho tum
**Abhijeet:** Thank you sir...
**He gets up.. Rajat still now was smiling interrupted** chaliye sir chor deta hu mere banje se bhi mil lu
**Abhijeet smiled..** haan chalo
**They moved to their home… soon arrived..** sir aa gaye.. gher.. **They ranged the bell and the person who opened the door shocked both... rajat uttered** "lo.. aa gayi.."
**Abhijeet tried to smile but before he can say anything his son jumped on him** "papa**.." Abhijeet kissed his head softly... Then separated him with** jao filal ander jao.. mein aata hu thori der mei
**Rajat also said** ha chalo beta hum ander..
**Tarika said in an ordering tone** ha dono ander jao..
**They both moved inside… now abhijeet gave a smile to tarika… Tarika glared so he gulped down the smile and entered found daya busy in eating sandwich and coffee.. So asked** tarika tum kaafi pehle aayi kya
**Tarika:** Nahi aaj hi subha per tum batao yea itne din kya chal raha tha
**Abhijeet:** mujhe.. kuch yaad nahi kya hua tha.. bas... itna yaad hai adi ko school chodte waqt accident hua.. tha
**Tarika:** Uski bad ka pata chala adi se
**Abhijeet:** aacha.. kya.. kya hua
**Tarika:** Kya kya hua bete se puch lena.. Ek baat batao kuch bhi ho jaye hospital mei nahi tik sakte?
**Abhijeet:** tarika.. hospital jail hai mere liye.. tum janti ho na
**Tarika:** Tum jaise ko usi jail mei rehna cahiye.. adi ager thik se sambhal na pata to.. wo bhi bacha hi hai..
**Daya interrupted** kaha tarika wo bara ho gaya hum hi samajh nahi paye..
**Tarika chewed** ha bas tum dono hi chote ho
**Abhijeet:** mera toh pata nahi yeh jarur chota hai
**Tarika scolded** chup raho... aab yeaha kya ker rahe ho ander jao... **She ordered abhijeet..** accident hua hai ghum ke nahi laute ho
**Daya smiled...** **abhijeet looked at daya.. with angry glance.. then to tarika..** haan.. jaata hun..
**Tarika glared at daya…** aur tum mission se laute ho park se nahi.. guest room mey jane ki kripya ker do tum bhi
**Daya nodes.. and leaves.. murmured..** maine toh kuch kiya nahi bina wajah daant par gayi.. **Abhijeet chuckled and then moved inside to adi's room rajat came out with** tarika tum kab lauti
**Tarika:** aaj hi subha ki flight se.. gher pahuchi bas kuch ghante pehle
**Rajat nods..** adi kaafi samajhdar ho gaya... pata hai... hum log to pareshan they ki kahi media taq... isiliye gher le aye.. fir adi ne aise..
**Tarika smiles..** Ha rajat per..
**Rajat:** Per kya tarika
**Tarika:** Adi ko pata nahi kaise feel hua hoga.. ek bacha hi to hey wo chahe jitni bhi matured ho.. Uske dil pey pata nahi..
**Rajat pats her shoulder..** abhijeet sir sambhal lenge.. aur waise bhi adi ne bataya kya kuch tumhe
**Tarika:** Mujhe to nahi per daya se keh raha tha
**Rajat:** Pura to suna nahi per wo keh raha tha ki abhijeet ko leke kis baat se daarr gaya yea aisa kuch
**Rajat nods..** hmm waise bhi abhijeet sir bahut chire hue rehte hai aur panic bhi ho jate hai.. asal mey daya sir ki mission..
**Tarika:** Nahi rajat mission ka to pata hai per hospital mey to reh sakta tha na.. yea mujhe na sahi shreya ko inform ker dete ek bar
**Rajat nods..** arey jane bhi do aab..
**Tarika smiles then rajat leaves... Tarika sighs moves to guest room found her devar sleeping soundly then too adi's room found abhijeet half lying on the bed with adi sitting beside him with his head on abhijeet's chest telling something in low voice while abhijeet caressing his hairs smoothly.. tarika moved out smiled... She thanked the god for giving her such a family where everyone is with the others.. **
THE END
**A/N: lejiye.. ho gaya.. ek aur story samapth.. haha.. I hope u all liked this story… please do review.. will be waiting.. thank you so much.. to all.. review karke batana jarur kaisa tha story… **
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| fanfiction |
cystinuria is an autosomal recessive disorder of amino acids transport affecting the epithelial cells of the renal tubules and gastrointestinal tract .
it is characterized by increased urinary excretion of cystine and the dibasic amino acids ( ornithine , lysine and arginine ) , and manifested by recurrent renal stones due to the poor solubility of cystine in the urine .
there are three different types of cystinuria according to the urine phenotype in heterozygotes : type i ( mim220100 ) , non - type i ( mim600918 ) , and mixed . in type i cystinuria , heterozygotes have a normal pattern of amino acid excretion in the urine ( 1 ) . in non - type i
cystinuria , heterozygotes have a variable degree of hyperexcretion of cystine and diabasic amino acids . patients with mixed type cystinuria inherit type i and non - type i alleles from either parent .
two genes responsible for cystinuria have been identified . the first locus gene , slc3a1 , located on chromosome 2p-16.3 - 21 encoding rbat ( related to b amino acid transporter ) ,
was identified to be the cause of type i cystinuria in 1994 ( 2 ) .
a second locus gene that is responsible for non - type i cystinuria was mapped on chromosome 19q12 - 13.1 .
encoding for b at ( b amino acid transporter ) by linkage analysis and later identified as slc7a9 by international cystinuria consortium ( 3 ) . at present ,
79 mutations in slc3a1 were reported and over 50 mutations in slc7a9 have been described so far ( 1 ) .
there have been several reports of cystinuria associated with neurological manifestations ; mental retardation , muscular dystrophy , hypotonia and dwarfism , paroxysmal dyskinesia , migraine , subacute combined degeneration of the spinal cord , and cerebellar atrophy ( 4 - 6 ) . in terms of pathogenetic correlation between cystinuria and various neurological conditions , it is still undetermined whether these two conditions share a common pathogenesis or are coincidental .
we report a case of non - type i cystinuria associated with neurologic symptoms and identified new missence mutation g173r in slc7a9 gene .
a 13-yr - old boy was admitted due to increasing difficulty in walking and clumsiness of the movement , noticed at about 5 yr of age by his mother .
he held his head at 3 months , turned over at 5 months , and sat alone at 10 months of age .
his neurodevelopments were delayed since then ; standing with support at 16 months , walk alone at 21 months of age .
he used his first meaningful words at 2 yr of age , make phrases at 4 yr of age , and simple sentences at 5 yr of age . at the age of 5
yr , his mother noticed that he walked with a slow and broad - based gait , and all his movements were weak .
however , he did not sought medical advice . his difficulty in walking was slowly aggravated , and he also had a difficulty in academic achievement recently .
physical examination revealed minor dysmorphic features : long face , macrognathia , high arched palate , and large ear .
neurologic examination disclosed mild higher cortical dysfunction , dysarthria , upper limb and gait ataxia , hyperreflexia with bilateral extensor toe signs .
the sensory examination disclosed no abnormalities except that vibration and position sense were impaired in lower extremities .
neuropsychological evaluation revealed mild mental retardation on the k - wisc - iii : full - scale intelligence quotient , 62 ; verbal scale intelligence quotient , 79 ; performance scale intelligence quotient ; 47 .
somatosensory evoked potential of posterior tibial nerve stimulation revealed no cortical waves ( p1 ) suggestive of central conduction dysfunction through the posterior column of the spinal cord .
however , spine magnetic resonance imaging ( mri ) did not disclosed structural lesions in the spinal cord .
chromosome analysis and fragile x mental retardation 1 ( fmr1 ) gene studies are normal .
cerebrospinal fluid examination , serum and cerebrospinal fluid lactate / pyruvate level , urine organic acid analysis , and plasma amino acid analysis were normal .
quantitative amino acid analysis of the urine disclosed increased excretion of cystine ( 1,345 m / g cr ) and an excess of the dibasic amino acids ; ornithine , lysine , and arginine ( fig .
his mother and sister were screened by quantitative amino acid analysis of the urine and showed variable degree of cystine and dibasic amino acids excretion ( fig .
mutation analysis of slc3a1 and slc7a9 genes was performed on genomic dna samples , which were extracted from peripheral blood lymphocytes of the patient , his mother , and his sister .
amplification of individual exons of the two genes was performed using intronic primers obtained from the literature ( 7 ) .
direct sequencing of entire coding region of slc3a1 and slc7a9 genes of the patient revealed both a g ( normal ) and a ( mutant ) at nucleotide 535 in exon 5 , resulting in the presence of a gly ( codon gga ) at amino acid position 173 and a arg ( codon aga ) in heterozygote state ( fig .
we identified the novel mutation , g173r and 6 known polymorphisms ( table 1 ) . to confirm that g173r is not a polymorphism which could be found in normal control , we screened this mutation in 50 unrelated healthy korean .
the patients has only one mutation , g173r in slc7a9 gene , therefore we screened for slc3a1 mutations to ensure that no other mutations were missed .
g173r was also detected in the genomic dna of the patient 's mother and sister .
cystinuria is an inherited disorder of cystine and dibasic amino acids ; ornithine , lysine , and arginine .
this disorder is mainly expressed by the formation of cystine stones in the urinary tract .
more than 80% of patients develop their first stone within the first 2 decades . on the other hand cystinuira
has been occasionally described in association with a various neurological manifestations ; mental retardation , muscular dystrophy , hypotonia and dwarfism , paroxysmal dyskinesia , migraine , subacute combined degeneration of the spinal cord , and cerebellar atrophy ( 4 - 6 ) . our patient is similar to these in that there is clinical evidence of posterior column , corticospinal tract involvement , and mental retardation .
pathogenetic correlation between cystinuria and various neurological conditions is still undetermined , and a relevant explanation must be needed .
if the amino acid transport systems of the brain closely resemble those of the kidney and gastrointestinal tract , one might expect that cystinuria could impaired brain functions ( 8 , 9 ) .
experimental results have demonstrated that transport systems for entry of cystine and cysteine into brain differ from those of kidney and intestine ( 10 ) .
it is unlikely that cystinuric patients are at risk of impaired cerebral functions because of difference in the amino acid transport systems of the nervous system ( 9 ) .
however , scriver et al . ( 4 ) reported that homozygous cystinuria is statistically more prevalent in patients in mental hospitals than in the general population .
this finding suggest that cystinuric patients are still at higher risk for impaired cerebral function .
cystinuria is currently classified into three types according to the urinary phenotype in heterozygotes : type i ( mim220100 ) , non - type i ( mim600918 ) , and mixed . in non - type i heterozygotes showed a variable degree of urinary hyperexcretion of cystine and dibasic amino acids .
probands excreting more than 1,300 m / g cr are considered as phenotypically homozygote ( 11 ) .
i cystinuria , there is no uptake of cystine by intestinal mucosal cells and there is no rise in serum cystine following an oral cystine load . in non - type i
cystinuria , the intestinal transport of dibasic amino acids is disturbed , but not abrogated .
there is some increment in plasma cystine following oral cystine load especially in patients which were previously classified as type iii cystinuria by old classification scheme ( 9 ) . in this patient ,
quantitative amino acid analysis disclosed increased urinary cystine excretion ( 1,345 m / g cr ) within the range of phenotypic homozygote , and an excess of the dibasic amino acids ; ornithine , lysine , and arginine ( fig .
his mother and sister also showed increased excretion of cystine and diabasic amino acids in urine ( fig .
. therefore , patient was diagnosed as non - type i cystinuria . despite the classification of the disease described above
, a new scheme based only on genetic aspects has recently been proposed : type a , caused by mutations in both alleles of slc3a1 ; type b , caused by mutations in both alleles of slc7a9 ; the possibility of type ab , with one mutation on each of the above genes ( 1 ) .
we screened the family with patient for gene mutation by sequencing of the slc7a9 and slc3a1 gene , and identified a new missence mutation g173r in slc7a9 gene in heterozygote state .
the present search for mutations covered the whole coding region and neighboring intron / exon boundaries . despite careful analysis of the slc3a1 and slc7a9 genes ,
there are still a number of patients that lack mutations or display only heterozygosity ( 1 ) .
recently , two distinct recessive contiguous gene deletion syndrome , hypotonia - cystinuria syndrome and 2p21 deletion syndrome , associated with type i cystinuria have been described ( 12 , 13 ) . in these contiguous gene deletion syndromes , various neurologic manifesations such as mental retardation , hypotonia , developmental delay , neonatal seizure , facial dysmorphism , and mitochondrial respiratory chain deficiencies
this contiguous gene deletion is already known to disrupt the coding region of at least 4 genes ( slc3a1 , prepl , ppm1b and c2orf34 ) .
deletion of slc3a1 gene causes cytinuria , and loss of the other 3 genes are elucidated to contribute neurologic manifestations in these contiguous gene deletion syndromes . in this pedigree ,
patient 's mother and sister did not showed clinical symptoms of cystinuria , but biochemical and molecular genetic data disclosed them as heterozygote of non - type i cystinuria .
they also did not showed neurologic symptoms similar to those of the patient even though they had same g173r mutation in slc7a9 gene .
although the neurologic manifestations of the patient probably are not to be caused by g173r mutation itself , it may be explained by unidentified other genes associated with slc7a9 gene mutation including large gene deletion such as a contiguous gene deletion syndrome which may be transmitted to the patient from paternal side .
extensive genetic evaluation must be needed in the patient and his father to answer this question .
, we identified a new mutation , g173r , in the exon 5 of slc7a9 gene , in the patient with non - type i cystinuria associated with neurologic manifestations which presented as mental retardation and ataxia . | pubmed |
the purpose of lowering high blood pressure is to prevent morbidity and mortality from hypertensive complications , such as heart attack , stroke , renal failure , and heart failure .
the veterans administration studies in the 1960s proved beyond doubt that treating hypertension with thiazides and -blockers ( the drugs available at that time ) significantly diminished the rates of strokes , renal failure , and heart failure , although the decrease in the rate of myocardial infarcts did not reach statistical significance .
it has been estimated that a 1015 mmhg fall in systolic blood pressure should lead to a 15% reduction in relative risk for heart attack and to a 40% reduction for stroke .
with the advent of new classes of antihypertensive agents , the emphasis shifted from efficacy in lowering blood pressure , which is taken for granted , to potential to protect against end - organ damage .
controlled clinical trials have indicated that drugs from different classes have different neurohumoral and metabolic profiles , which might enhance or partially offset the benefits from blood pressure lowering per se .
for example , thiazides and -adrenergic blockers have been reported to further increase insulin resistance , and hence to accentuate the dysmetabolic syndrome that commonly accompanies essential hypertension .
on the contrary , 1-adrenergic blockers and angiotensin - converting enzyme ( ace ) inhibitors have been reported to improve insulin sensitivity and the lipid profile , whereas calcium - channel blockers were found to be metabolically neutral . in terms of neurohormonal changes , the stimulation of the renin angiotensin and sympathetic systems associated with the use of diuretics and dihydropyridines should be detrimental to end organs , whereas angiotensin blockers and sympathetic blockers should be beneficial to them .
several such effects that are theoretically considered to be beneficial have been used as ' surrogate endpoints ' in the absence of firm data on morbidity and mortality .
improvement in surrogate endpoints may be encouraging but is not always predictive of real endpoints , and should not be sufficient to influence clinical decisions .
this was shown repeatedly by recent trials ( e.g. with estrogen replacement or various antioxidants ) , where amelioration in various markers did not result in improved cardiovascular outcomes .
nevertheless , clinical trials on selected subpopulations as well as meta - analyses of pooled data suggest that , at levels producing a similar blood pressure lowering effect , -blockers were cardioprotective and ace inhibitors were both cardioprotective and nephroprotective , while calcium - channel blockers might offer better protection from stroke .
these newer classes have not strictly speaking been proven to reduce morbidity and mortality from hypertension , as they could not ethically be tested against placebo .
they could , however , be tested against ' the gold standard ' , a thiazide that has been proven to reduce morbidity and mortality in the placebo - controlled trials .
this is what led to the antihypertensive and lipid lowering treatment to prevent heart attack trial ( allhat ) .
the double - blind , active - controlled component of the allhat was designed to determine whether the rate of the primary outcome ( a composite of fatal myocardial infarcts and nonfatal coronary events ) would be different in high - risk older patients treated with a drug from each one of three classes of antihypertensives , an ace inhibitor ( lisinopril ) , a calcium blocker ( amlodipine ) , or an 1-adrenergic blocker ( doxazosin ) , compared with patients treated with a thiazide diuretic ( chlorthalidone ) .
the trial started in february 1994 and , after an interim analysis in january 2000 , an independent review committee recommended that the doxazosin arm be discontinued .
this was because , compared with chlorthalidone , doxazosin had a significantly higher relative risk of stroke ( 1.19 ) and of combined cardiovascular disease ( relative risk = 1.25 ) , and a more than double risk of congestive heart failure ( relative risk = 2.04 ) .
there was dismay that , once more , improvement in surrogate endpoints ( blood pressure , lipid profile , and other parameters of the dysmetabolic syndrome ) did not translate into favorable outcomes .
there was speculation on what concurrent changes might have overridden the benefits of those improvements .
we would like to add our own plausible , although speculative , explanation for these findings .
in addition to the renin - angiotensin and the sympathoadrenal systems , arginine vasopressin ( avp ) is the third major systemic pressor hormone .
its pressor function is partly offset by its sensitizing influence on baroreflexes , not fully apparent until the other two systems have been impaired .
the importance of avp to systemic or regional vascular resistance can not necessarily be predicted from the circulating levels , as it is markedly increased after effective sympathetic inhibition even in the absence of a further increase in plasma levels .
it can only be accurately estimated from the response to a selective antagonist of the v1 type receptors of avp .
using such a pharmacologic probe , we have found that the pressor action of avp is maximized after 1-adrenergic blockade . under certain conditions , avp becomes an important vasopressor factor in patients with hypertension and/or congestive heart failure .
its pressor influence is most apparent in patients with autonomic insufficiency , such as diabetics or elderly individuals .
severe coronary constriction in response to avp has been proposed as the mechanism underlying a number of acute ischemic events reported in the earlier literature .
although avp does not seem to cause myocardial ischemia under normal conditions , it may well do so under chronic 1-adrenergic receptor blockade , especially in older patients and in those with various degrees of autonomic insufficiency .
the experimental evidence suggests that , in the presence of functional baroreflexes , the small elevation in avp following 1-adrenergic receptor blockade produces an increase in systemic resistance with a strong reflex suppression of cardiac output . in the absence of an intact sympathetic system
, the vascular sensitivity to the vasoconstrictor effect of avp is enhanced by several orders of magnitude .
accordingly , a combination of these factors could explain the increased rates of ischemic cardiomyopathy and/or heart failure in these patients .
what are the implications of the allhat findings ? one implication is obviously that 1-adrenergic antagonists should not be first choice antihypertensives , and this message has already been widely disseminated .
these agents are , however , used extensively for their urodynamic properties in patients with benign prostatic hypertrophy , many of whom are older hypertensives ( possibly with ischemic heart disease ) who prefer to use one drug as monotherapy for both purposes .
indeed , doxazosin and terazosin are probably much more popular for the treatment of prostatic symptoms than for hypertension , and in this setting any cardiovascular adverse effects from their widespread use would most probably go unappreciated .
ace = angiotensin - converting enzyme ; avp = arginine vasopressin . allhat = antihypertensive and lipid lowering treatment to prevent heart attack trial . | pubmed |
there are a number of scientific justifications for astrometry of stars with circumstellar masers . historically , the registration of radio single dish and infrared data was so uncertain that proper identification of maser bearing stars was a problem .
most of these problems have been overcome ; the accuracy of connected element interferometers is sufficient to make these identifications unambiguously .
however , there is still a lot of uncertainty when comparing vlbi data from different experiments .
notably , when maser distributions from different transitions are overlayed , a common origin is usually assumed .
astrometry can be done to do such comparisons properly . however , the most tantalizing application of astrometry of circumstellar masers is the accurate determination of the motion of the star on the sky .
proper motions of a star anywhere in the galaxy ( 10 km / s at 8 kpc corresponds to @xmath1 mas / year ) can in principle be obtained with vlbi , as can the parallax for such distances ( @xmath2 mas ) . a direct distance estimate is important for studying the physics of the mass - losing stars . for many mira variables
hipparcos measured the distance , but for the most enshrouded stars vlbi offers the best approach .
both the proper motion and distance are inputs for studying the stellar population and galactic kinematics ( habing , these proceedings ) .
in addition , detailed astrometric monitoring of evolved stars could reveal information about the existence of binary components , or even planets in these systems .
moreover , by monitoring its position new facts can be learned about maser physics .
are spots persistent , what ( turbulent ) motions can be measured , is the brightness a function of stellar cycle ?
finally it is worth mentioning that the maser astrometry could tie the observational reference frames , in particular in the infrared where these stars are very bright .
carrying out astrometric monitoring projects with spectral line vlbi is extensive work that requires some special techniques and assumptions .
there are a number of technical advancements and initiatives that will make improvements to this field which will make it much more accessible .
the most straightforward way of doing vlbi astrometry is to use `` phase referencing '' to a bright and close calibrator in order to overcome the spatial and temporal fluctuations of the ionosphere and/or troposphere .
the calibrator is usually an extragalactic source with a fixed and known position , which is sufficiently bright to calibrate the atmospheric and instrumental effects within a fraction of the coherence time .
because the modern vlbi correlators have incorporated the best geodetic models , phase referencing results obtained in this way can be accurate to a few mas .
this is already sufficient for a number of applications . in other cases ,
higher accuracy is required and some adjustments are necessary to improve the model . in such cases
one probably needs to return to the `` totals '' in order to use astrometric / geodetic software . to get accuracies below 1 mas is not trivial ; better models of the atmospheric behavior and structure of the reference source are required . for maser astrometry an additional complication can be that one needs to observe in mixed bandwidth mode , applying a narrow band for the maser detection and simultaneous wide bands for the reference source .
obviously the maser dictates the observing frequency , which rules out some calibration schemes used in continuum and geodetic vlbi .
ideally the masers should be bright and persistent .
the brightness relates to the size of individual maser features , which sets an upper limit to the resolution one can obtain .
a fundamental issue remains to link the motion of the maser spot to the stellar properties .
one way forward is to assume that the masers are on a linear path with respect to the star ( e.g. a constant outflow ) . in this case
the parallax of individual spots equals the parallax of the star , and the average motion may be assumed to be the stellar motion . in other cases one may be able to deduce the position of the star from the distribution of the masers , for example when they form a ring .
if we can determine the position of the star , one can in principle measure the motion and the parallax .
note that only when one can consistently determine the stellar position with ( much ) better than 1 au accuracy , a useful parallax can be determined . in some cases there is evidence that special maser spots exists that correspond to the stellar continuum amplified by the maser shell .
such spots are then tied very accurately to the stellar position . in other cases
one has to worry about the systematic and turbulent motions in the maser shell . in any case
, there may be additional motions involved , for example when masers occur in binary stars .
the oh masers usually originate in large shells at 1000 au from the mass - losing stars .
as the outflow is constant at that point , the maser radiates most effectively radially , from the front and back cones of the shell .
three 18 cm transitions can give reasonably bright maser emission .
however , the vlbi spots are usually resolved at 20 mas , sometimes degraded further by angular broadening in the interstellar medium , notably in the direction of the galactic centre ( van langevelde et al .
1992 ) .
although the shells are large , the `` amplified stellar image '' paradigm makes the oh maser interesting for astrometry .
radio continuum , amplified by the maser results in a spot that is fixed on the stellar position , bright and persistent .
the observation that the most blue - shifted spots in two oh transitions coincides is a very good confirmation of this idea ( sivagnanam 1990 ) .
recently , comparison of a proper motion study of u her with hipparcos agreed to 15 mas ( van langevelde et al .
2000 ) , thus confirming that the most blue - shifted and most persistent spot indeed follows the stellar trajectory in this case .
therefore the maser motion can be used to obtain the parallax and proper motion of the star .
u her was observed 10 times in 6 years on the nrao vlba which resulted in the first vlbi parallax of a mass - losing star ( fig 1 ; van langevelde et al .
the motion agrees within the error with the hipparcos data , from which no reliable parallax could be obtained .
if the amplified stellar image is a general feature in circumstellar oh masers , it will allow astrometric measurements of a large number of stars
. however , the modest brightness of oh masers limits the application of this technique to stars closer than 1 kpc .
the 22 ghz masers are much brighter than the oh masers in circumstellar shells
. therefore positional accuracies in the order of 50 @xmath3as are in principle achievable . of course at this high frequency
the coherence time is much shorter and phase referencing vlbi at 22 ghz is quite a bit more challenging .
additional complications arise from the fact that the circumstellar h@xmath0o masers are rather messy .
the structures are often ring - like on scales of 100 au , as expected from tangential amplification . however , large departures have been observed , as well as considerable variability . if the structures are persistent enough one can attempt to track individual maser spots over a year and measure the parallax of the star from these ( e.g. kuruyama et al . , these proceedings ) .
if this approach works the water maser observations offer the interesting possibility to measure parallaxes throughout a large fraction of the galaxy .
there have been claims that in water masers the amplified stellar image can also occur ( marvel 1996 , colomer et al .
2000 ) . to check this
we have observed u her at 22 ghz with merlin , which yields a comparable resolution as our previous oh vlbi results . using the same position calibrators we find , somewhat surprisingly , that the brightest h@xmath0o maser coincides with the optical position and the oh image .
although the merlin observations do not resolve individual maser spots observable with vlbi , we take this as a clue that amplification of background radiation may play a role in water masers too ( fig 2 ; vlemmings et al .
2002 ) . o masers with respect to the stellar positions determined from the hipparcos observations , as determined from phase referencing to an extragalactic calibrator .
the star is denoted by two circles indicating the star itself and the stellar radio photo - sphere .
the error bars on the maser feature are the errors due to the positional fitting .
the errors on the stellar position are due to the link to the radio - reference frame and due to the errors in the proper motion used to transpose the optical position .
the triangle denotes the stellar position when using the phase referencing results on the secondary calibrator .
, scaledwidth=99.0% ]
the sio masers around evolved stars can be even brighter . at 43 ghz the spots
sizes allow 10@xmath3as accurate positions . at the same time
the technical difficulties are considerable .
the coherence time is only of the order of a minute and in addition there are fewer suitable extragalactic calibrators .
the masers themselves are located close to the star , within 10 au .
they are bright and abundant .
monitoring of their structure indicates that the masers are showing motions on the time - scale of the variability of the star ( diamond & kemball 1999 ) .
often these motions are not linear and it will be a challenge to measure a parallax from the combined motions of sio masers . as the masers are in a ring close to the star , it will be possible to estimate the stellar position from the distribution of sio masers .
the proper motion of the star can be measured this way , even if the individual spots can not be resolved .
proper motions of individual stars can probably be measured throughout the galaxy using the 43 ghz transition .
a very suitable target for stellar astrometry by sio masers are the galactic center stars . in this region
there is an abundance of maser stars close together ( sjouwerman , these proceedings ) .
in addition , sgra * is a suitable calibrator ; it is bright at short wavelengths and , as it is is the location of a massive black hole , it is stationary .
in fact , an important results from circumstellar maser astrometry is the tie between the ir and radio positions in the galactic centre . by locking the positions of the ir sources to the radio maser counterparts , it can be shown that the motion of stars in the galactic centre is consistent with motion around a massive black hole located at the position of sgra * ( menten et al .
1997 ; eckart et al .
2002 ) .
several groups have explored the possibility to start monitoring sio masers in the galactic centre region with vlbi ( sjouwerman et al .
1998 ; deguchi , these proceedings ; imai , these proceedings ; reid , private communication ) .
the basic goal is to add two more components to the measurement of kinematics in this dynamically interesting region ( winnberg , these proceedings ) .
there are many planned improvements of ordinary vlbi that will facilitate more astrometry of circumstellar masers . several modern , big telescopes are under construction that will observe at high frequencies , necessary for h@xmath0o and sio masers .
disk - based recording systems will improve the reliability and productivity of vlbi , and will be especially advantageous for time consuming astrometric monitoring .
in addition there are several indications that the atmospheric modeling can be improved considerably .
other improvements of the geodetic models are important too , for example accurate telescope positions .
however , the future for astrometry of masers clearly lies in instrumental setups that overcome the temporal variability of the atmosphere at high frequencies . some of this can be done with `` cluster cluster '' vlbi , but the dedicated vera project provides a far more ambitious approach that will soon produce interesting results ( kobayashi & sasao , these proceedings ) . a number of studies are required to establish new techniques for astrometry of circumstellar masers .
careful analysis of errors and consistency checks will be necessary to determine how to use the masers optimally to determine the underlying stellar motions .
but in potential this method enables the measurement of proper motions and distances of mass - losing stars throughout the galaxy .
this will progress the study of stellar evolution as well as our knowledge of the structure of the galaxy .
the national radio astronomy observatory is a facility of the national science foundation operated under cooperative agreement by associated universities , inc .
merlin is a national facility operated by the university of manchester at jodrell bank observatory on behalf of pparc .
we acknowledge the continuous support by phil diamond , harm habing and richard schilizzi . | arxiv |
Get to know more about one of Rutgers' service sororities, Delta Gamma!
Meet Delta Gamma's Chapter President!
Can you guess what fraternity Seth Rogen is a member of? We know.
Get ready for the most fun part of being in a sorority! | slim_pajama |
Pluralism as a political philosophy is the recognition and affirmation of diversity within a political body, which is seen to permit the peaceful coexistence of different interests, convictions, and lifestyles.
While not all political pluralists advocate for a pluralist democracy, this is most common as democracy is often viewed as the most fair and effective way to moderate between the discrete values.
As put by arch-pluralist Isaiah Berlin, let us have the courage of our admitted ignorance, of our doubts and uncertainties. At least we can try to discover what others [...] require, by [...] making it possible for ourselves to know men as they truly are, by listening to them carefully and sympathetically, and understanding them and their lives and their needs... . Pluralism thus tries to encourage members of society to accommodate their differences by avoiding extremism adhering solely to one value, or at the very least refusing to recognize others as legitimate and engaging in good faith dialogue. Pluralists also seek the construction or reform of social institutions in order to reflect and balance competing principles.
One of the more famous arguments for institutional pluralism came from James Madison in The Federalist paper number 10. Madison feared that factionalism would lead to in-fighting in the new American republic and devotes this paper to questioning how best to avoid such an occurrence. He posits that to avoid factionalism, it is best to allow many competing factions advocating different primary principles to prevent any one from dominating the political system. This relies, to a degree, on a series of disturbances changing the influences of groups so as to avoid institutional dominance and ensure competition. Like Edmund Burke, this view concerns itself with balance, and subordinating any single abstract principle to a plurality or realistic harmony of interests.
Pluralism recognizes that certain conditions may make good faith negotiation impossible, and therefore also focuses on what institutional structures can best modify or prevent such a situation. Pluralism advocates institutional design in keeping with a form of pragmatic realism here, with the preliminary adoption of suitable existing socio-historical structures where necessary.
William E. Connolly challenges older theories of pluralism by arguing for pluralization as a goal rather than as a state of affairs. Connolly's argument for the multiplication of factions follows James Madison's logic in engaging groups, constituencies, and voters at both the micro and macro level. Essentially, he has shifted the theory from a conservative theory of order, to a progressive theory of democratic contestation and engagement. Connolly introduces the distinction between pluralism and pluralization. Pluralism, whether the interest-group pluralism of Dahl or political liberalism's reasonable pluralism, is oriented towards existing diversity of groups, values, and identities competing for political representation. Pluralization, by contrast, names the emergence of new interests, identities, values, and differences raising claims to representation not currently legible within the existing pluralist imaginary.
The common good
Pluralism is connected with the hope that this process of conflict and dialogue will result in a quasi-common good. This common good is not an abstract value or set in stone, however, but an attempt at balancing competing social interests will thus constantly shift given present social conditions. Proponents in the contemporary political philosophy of such a view include Isaiah Berlin, Stuart Hampshire and Bernard Williams. An earlier version of political pluralism was a strong current in the formation of modern social democracy to balance socialist and capitalist ideals, with theorists such as the early Harold Laski and G. D. H. Cole, as well as other leading members of the British Fabian Society. In the United States, President Eisenhower's middle way was arguably motivated by a belief in political pluralism.
While advocated by many pluralists, pluralism need not embrace social democracy given it does not a priori assume a desirable political system. Rather, pluralists advocate one based on the pre-existing traditions and cognizable interests of a given society, and the political structure most likely to harmonize these factors. Thus, pluralists have also included Michael Oakeshott and John Kekes, proponents of something close to liberal conservatism although will often reject such political labels. What pluralists certainly do have in common is the notion that a single vision or ideological schema, whether Marxism or unbridled neoliberalism, is likely too simplistic and rigid to advocate human beings' natural plurality of values. Pluralists likewise reject historicism and utopian thinking. While some, like John N. Gray, repudiate historical progress altogether, others, like Edmund Burke, indicate that human progress has occurred, as a function of improved social harmony.
Conditions
For pluralism to function and to be successful in defining the common good, all groups have to agree to a minimal consensus that shared values are at least worth pursuing. The most important baseline value is thus that of mutual respect or tolerance. If no such dialogue is possible, extremism and physical coercion are likely inevitable.
Notable pluralists
Aristotle
Montaigne
James Madison
Alexis de Tocqueville
early Harold Laski
Stuart Hampshire
Edmund Burke
Isaiah Berlin
Adam Smith
David Hume
James Fitzjames Stephen
Charles Sanders Peirce
William James
Bernard Williams
Learned Hand
later Michael Oakeshott
Joseph Raz
John Kekes
later Paul Feyerabend
John N. Gray
Hannah Arendt
Robert A. Dahl
William E. Connolly
See also
Liberal democracy
Moderation
Value pluralism
Notes
References
Rajiv Krishnan Kozhikode and Jiatao Li, Political pluralism, public policies, and organizational choices: banking branch expansion in India, 19482003, Academy of Management Journal, 552, 339359.
Pluralism and Liberal Democracy, Richard E. Flatham 2005.
Isaiah Berlin
Morality and Conflict, Hampshire, Stuart 1983.
From Pluralist to Patriotic Politics, Blattberg, Charles 2000.
Liberty, Berlin, Isaiah 2002.
In the Beginning Was the Deed, Williams, Bernard 2005.
Michael Oakeshott and Modern Conservatism
On legal pluralism and communities, see: Gad Barzilai, Communities and Law: Politics and Cultures of Legal Identities. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press, 2003.
Category:Pluralism philosophy
Category:Political theories
hr:Posrednici
nl:Pluralisme | wikipedia |
jaspar core was originally designed with the clear goal of finding the best pfm for a certain tf , unlike other databases that can hold several models for the same factor .
although many users have appreciated the clarity , it is not established how to resolve cases where the same factor has been characterized in - depth in two or more species . while this situation was rare in the early jaspar versions , new experimental methods
allows for probing binding specificity in several species with comparative ease ( 30 ) . in general
, the binding specificity for orthologous tfs rarely changes to a substantial degree , but exceptions exist ( 31 ) .
thus , future curation of jaspar will have to resolve whether the non - redundancy approach should be within each species or within larger clades .
likewise , the sheer amount of sites that the new laboratory methods generate provides sufficient information to produce predictive models that address more aspects than can be readily handled within the classic pwm framework in particular , dependencies between positions and variable length motifs , which basic pwm models ignore . here , one will have to consider the trade - off between possible higher specificity in binding predictions [ see ( 32 ) for a detailed discussion ] and the comfort of the community with the simpler pwm models .
it is our plan to introduce newly designed transcription factor flexible models ( 33 ) derived from chip - seq data within jaspar in the near future .
the as lab was supported by grants from the novo nordisk foundation , the lundbeck foundation and the european research council under the eu 7th framework programme [ fp7/2007 - 2013]/erc grant agreement 204135 .
the www lab was supported by the canadian institutes for health research [ to w.w.w . ] ; the national sciences and engineering research council of canada ( to w.w.w . and c.y.c . ) ; the national institute of general medical sciences [ r01gm084875 to w.w.w . ] ; michael smith foundation for health research ( c.r.w.h . ) ; genomecanada ( abc4de project ) and genome british columbia ( abc4de and caneucre projects ) ; the rhnes - alpes region cmira fellowship and cnrs support ( to f.p . ) ; supported by the eu fp7 large - scale integrated project zf health [ health - f4 - 2010 - 242048 to g.t.];. supported by the medical research council uk and the department of informatics , university of bergen ( to b.l . ) .
funding for open access charge : supported by the novo nordisk foundation and lundbeck foundation for the as lab , the national institute of general medical sciences [ r01gm084875 ] for the w.w.w .
lab , and the medical research council ( uk ) for the b.l . lab . | pubmed |
Negima! Magister Negi Magi/魔法先生ネギま！ 1. Introduction: Two Worlds, One Story
**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NEGIMA OR ANYTHING BY KEN AKAMATSU**.
**Was that disclaimer sufficient? Well, this is my first shot at this fanfiction stuff. So, please don't be too hard on me. THANK YOU. ^_^;**
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Even in the dead of night, a warrior cannot afford to rest. A life sworn to the protection of a singular being, she continues to train toward achieving "true strength." There cannot be another slip-up. There is no room for mistakes. A life of hardship reminds her of why she is there. A brief moment of happiness fuels her undying resolve.
Her name is Setsuna Sakurazaki – a warrior, an outcast, and a guardian.
_And in another part of the world…_
Living a life in peace, the princess finds bliss in simple ignorance. And yet: life always seemed so empty. Materials can only bring a person so far. Friends are a privilege – tangible and easily taken away in an instance. Losing a friendship, it hurts, especially when it was your first. It leaves behind a void on the heart.
She is the daughter of a prestigious family – Konoka Konoe, a pure soul and the embodiment of innocence.
_And it is destiny that brings these two together…_
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**Yeeeeeee! (For the simple intro at least...)**_
_
2. Chapter 1: Nightmares
**Disclaimer: Nope, I do not own anything related to Negima. I am far from the talent of Mr. Akamatsu.**
**Besides that! I think I'll try this dual perspective thing. I don't have a plot...I just wanted to write from these character's perspectives (in fictitious and actual manga events). Eh, never know? Maybe something will manifest?
**
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"Kono-chan!" I cry out again, "Kono-chan!"
Her small frame battered against the strong river current. She was like a rag doll, breathing for air at every opportunity.
_I have to save Kono-chan. I will rescue her. She is my best friend – my only friend._
Before another second could pass, I dove straight into the water. It was cold and the current was stronger than expected, but, I swear, my resolve was stronger. Left, right, left, right. In no time, I caught hold of her body. I was going to save Kono-chan. I was going to make the impossible happen.
But the waves proved to be too strong. I struggle, holding onto Kono-chan. The tables have turned. Now, both of us are grasping at any chance for air. Why can't I save Kono-chan?
Suddenly, I hear the yelling of our rescuers. Under my blurred vision, the feet of the adults continued to hurry towards us. The hands of our saviors pulled us out of the water. Placed onto the grass, next to Konoka, I feel a blanket embrace me. I grasp onto it like a shield in order to hide my shame. My eyes focus on the ground. Her voice calls out to me softly.
"It's ok, Set-chan. In the end, we both made it out safely."
_But I couldn't protect you._
As I look up to face her, the scenery has changed. The forestry was replaced with a city street. The soft glow, from the windows, illuminates the scene. The road is abandoned. I cannot sense my lady's presence, but ahead of me a shadow carefully takes its stance – a fighting style seeming all too familiar. Shinmeiryuu? Impossible.
In a flash, the figure appears no more than a foot ahead of me, preparing to swing. I block without hesitation. Strike after strike, our weapons clash together like a violent duet. This opponent with no substance – this shadow and this silhouette – begins to overpower me. I can feel my strength waning, dropping rapidly. I try to push myself, to summon all of the might in my body. And yet: I am easily defeated. My knees drop to the ground. With my head hung low, I feel each drop of blood travel down my face, spilling onto the ground. I hear a maniacal laugh, forcing me to stare into the eyes of the perpetrator.
And there she was in front of my eyes, Konoka, my ojou-sama, in the hands of danger. Resting under her neck, my enemy's sword laid ready for the kill.
A single tear escapes from Ojou-sama's eye. The figure, with demon eyes, tells me:
"In the end, you are nothing but a disappoint: a failure to your own beloved."
My body won't move. Anxiety, anger, and sorrow suddenly rush into my veins. The sight immediately becomes unbearable as I see her sword steadily crawl into position, thirsting for blood. The striking blow is given and –
"Ojou-sama!"
My body, covered in sweat, shook ever-so-slightly. Although the moon shone through the window, the shadow of that nightmare lingered on my face. Even in the middle of the night, I cannot be awarded happiness.
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**Eh...let's see what I can think of later...if anything...**
3. Chapter 2: Memories of a Knight
**Disclaimer: As much as a good chunk of the population would like to own the rights to Negima, its characters, or anything else Akamatsu related, I am part of the unfortunate (vast) majority who do not and cannot. Sad, but true.**
**Read and (hopefully) enjoy. I have NO IDEA what I'm doing...but I'll go along with it anyway. I don't think I can do an original storyline with these characters anyway...yet.**
* * *
Finally, class is over! As I emerged from the building, the sun gently played on my skin. The day was absolutely beautiful. To top it off, I had plenty of free time and a miniscule amount of homework. In determination to take full advantage of the situation, taking a leisure campus stroll seemed completely reasonable. It was a day like this that allowed me to reflect.
I can't say my life hasn't been pleasant. Since moving to this academy, I've made a fair amount of friends. For example, take Asuna Kagurazaka; she's boisterous, (sometimes) belligerent, and a little dimwitted. Don't get me wrong! She also has endearing qualities – outgoing and dependable to name a couple. And…yes, courageous. Asuna-san's valor reminds me of a time long ago – the reminiscence of a knight, MY knight.
I found myself resting under the statue in the plaza, while my memory played upon me like a reel of film.
_Bouncing a ball in the courtyard, I didn't have anyone to play with until that day when a group of strangers arrived. The group wore some kind of special robes. As they approached, a little figure peered around the adult it hid behind. It was a girl – and she was my age! I remember her hair pulled into the side ponytail she wears even to this day._
_We were children of different backgrounds, but we became the best of friends. I didn't care, as long as she was there by my side. She practiced Kendo, but I didn't mind that either. She protected me like a true warrior, especially from dogs. Oh no, that little dog…_
_Waiting for her to get out of practice, I played in the courtyard. For the time being, that simple bouncing ball was my companion. On one bounce, it evaded my arms and it started to roll away. In effort, I chased after it as fast as my legs could carry me in that restrictive dress. The ball came to a stop and a dog stood in plain eyesight about 6 feet away from me. It was barking at me! Scared. Fearful. I didn't know what to do. What if it attacked? Then, rushing to my side, she was there. Arms spread out like an angel with her shinai in hand._
_Well, safe to say, the dog was friendly. But it was moments like those that I would never forget: Set-chan protecting me from any harm. Even when she failed once, I didn't care – as long as we had each other. Yes, as long as she was by my side…_
My eyelids slowly opened. I woke up to the sunset quietly saying its final goodbye to the world. "It looks like I feel asleep while enjoying the scenery." However, my heart was heavy and melancholy. I couldn't shake the feeling. Perhaps, it stemmed from that recollection of memories.
Out of the corner of my eye, a shadowy figure caught my attention. But as I turned around to get a better look, it had vanished. I could've sworn someone was there, and it wasn't my imagination. But, I cannot say I was worried, afraid, or even "creeped out." No, that's not it at all.
_I felt protected_.
A small smile spread across my face. "I'll never forget. Set-chan was so brave."
* * *
**I should really go to sleep...eventually. Insomnia wins tonight! *sigh* Please read and review? I mean, it's my first time trying this out, and I want some feedback. Mostly, I just want to know if I should be writing at all. T-T**
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| fanfiction |
Gundam Seed A Day at the Doctor's
Random crack lol enjoy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Auel and sting both dragged Shinn and Stellar out of the house, into the car, out of the car, and through the walk way , but they just couldn't seem to get them though that stupid door!
"dammit why won't you two just go into the hospital its only a yearly checkup "
"Cause stellar doesn't want to" stellar said as she started struggling to get out of stings grapes and successfully scratching his face.
"ok that's it Auel forget about Shinn for a min cause he probably won't leave that pole for awhile anyway and just grab stellar legs and help me throw her in!!"
It was at that moment that Auel was desperately trying to pry Shinn of the light pole but failing miserably, so he simply let go which happened to be a bad idea because shinn ended up hitting the pole pretty hard and kinda got knocked out in the process (imagnge a chiby form of shinn with stars over his head and little swirls for eyes LOL "SO CUTE").
"Shit . . . . . . . . well at least I don't have to worry about him running off . . . ." Auel said as he started to walk over to help out sting. When both he and sting had stellar by the hands and legs they literally never let go even when signing into the doctor's office.
"Hello welcome to . . . the doctor's . . . . um can I help out " questioned the poor nurse (pick one of the girls from GSD)who was watching as stellar tried her hardest to get out of sing's and auel's hands.
"YOU CAN GET US THAT DAMN DOCTOR!!!!!" they said simultaneously.
"heh. . . heh . . . right um doctor Kira is a little busy at moment but I' m sure Dr. Athrun is ready I'll get him right away.!.!."
With that the nurse ran as fast as she could to find the doctor.
"Should we he worried about Shinn" Sting asked in staggered voice while tiring to hold onto stellar.
Auel sweat dropped with and said " no no I think he will he just fine . . . . . "
Meanwhile outside the hospital main doors many people just stopped and stared that the raven haired ruby eyed boy who was still just sitting and spinning (yes in his chiby form) on the ground.
"I'm here for the check up on stellar" athrun said as he looked up at the two guys who looked like they were kidnapping some crazed out girl. " what do you two think you are . .. . . umuff" Athrun didn't have the time to finish his sentence because Auel and Sting through stellar at him and ran leavening a HUGE pile of dust and a coughing Athrun in their tracks.(even though they are in a nice clean hospital . . . . . yes well . . )
"ok I'm guessing that your stellar lets get started on your check up and get you out of here as fast as we can."
"stellar will go only if she gets a lollypop at the end" stellar said her third person talk.
"rrrr iiiii gggg hhhh ttt?!.?!."
Surprisingly stellar took what Athrun said the wrong way and went peacefully with him. Meanwhile Auel and sting were both staring at Shinn with the big crowd of people.
"So he'll be just fine . . " sting angrily whispered to Auel so that he wouldn't adtrack the unwanted attention of others.
"well at least he didn't run off " Auel said with the innocent look on
"Cause giving him a concussion was worth it " sting argued it a slightly louder voice
"well if you could have handled stellar better then this wouldn't have happened"
"what did happen!?!?!?!?!!!!! And you weren't doing much better with shinn"
"think of it as a sling shot reaction and I was doing just fine!!!!"
" O YAH"
"YAH "
" O YAH"
"YAH "
" O YAH"
"YAH "
" O YAH"
"YAH "
. . . . . . . . . This was when the crowd started to leave, and by the time auel and sting had stopped their now very loud fight the only ting that was heard was the cliché cricket.
"Ok well at least the crowd is gone lets just pick up Shinn and get him in the office."
"Right"
Sting just put Shinn over his shoulder and walked in. This time the nurse was even more shocked and started to wonder if these two were good parents . . . wait were they parents . . . I mean they are both guys . . . WTF ??? maybe they adopted . . . but how could that happen they only look about a year or 2 older if even WTF again . . .. maybe they . . . .
Hut hum . . . Auel and Sting both started to tap their foots impatiently
"ohhh right I'll get Dr. Kira right away" and with that the nurse was left to think about her own thoughts. . .
Ok I know that you people want more for this chapter but I'm tired and want to go to bed I mean hay its like 2 in the morning . . . . . so up to come is the XXX and the other chapter YAH!!!!!!! Mean while I am going to get some sleep i'll update soon so plz don't worry !!!!!!!! o and commets would be nice to lol
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| fanfiction |
hepatitis b virus ( hbv ) is a partially double spiral type dna membrane virus .
globally , approximately over 400 million individuals are infected with hepatitis b. hbv is known as one of the most important carcinogens .
every year , over one million individuals die due to hbv - related causes . primary objective in hepatitis b treatment is to improve clinical and histological progression and to provide virus eradication . for many years , interferon , lamivudine , adefovir , telbevudine , entecavir and tenofovir
the treatment with these drugs leads to normalization in liver enzymes , improvement in liver histology , hbsag and hbeag loss and undetectable hbv dna levels.[24 ] elevation of the decreased hbv dna during treatment is attributed to drug resistance or noncompliance .
a 30-years - old man , a marketer by profession , had been diagnosed with hepatitis b infection for 10 years .
his laboratory values were hbsag ( + ) , hbeag ( - ) , anti - hbe ( + ) , hbv - dna : 123.000.000 iu / ml , alt:160
hepatitis activity index was 13 and fibrosis score was 5 . according to those findings , entacavir 0.5 mg 11/ day was initiated . in the third month of the treatment ,
/ l , ast was 48u / l . in the ninth month of the treatment ,
hbv dna levels were increased to 26,000 iu / ml , alt was 61 u / l . in this period
it was observed that the patient had taken the drugs regularly in recommended dose and duration .
entecavir resistance can be investigated by molecular methods . in this patient , it was investigated by determination of surface and polymerase gene mutations method .
the patient was requested to inform how and under which conditions he has taken the medication and where the drugs were preserved .
the patient was a marketer by profession and used to spend 2/3 part of the day in his car . to avoid missing the medication dose ,
the atmospheric temperature was high ( 4050c ) and therefore the drug was degenerated and lost its activity as a result of inappropriate preservation .
after three months of following this recommendation , patient 's hbv dna levels were regressed to 200 iu / ml alt : 26 u / l and ast:26 u / l [ table 1 ] .
in some cases treated with hepatitis b treatment even though alt level are found to be normal , resistance is considered if one log elevation is observed in hbv dna levels .
hence , treated cases were recommended to be followed up with estimation of hbv dna .
if one log elevation is observed in hbv dna levels , this should be confirmed by repeating the test . in those cases ,
if treatment compliance was found and the doses were appropriate , anti - viral resistance should be examined . in this case , we could detect neither noncompliance nor drug resistance . despite this
, there were elevations in the hbv dna level and in alt , ast levels . because of the negative results of the compliance and resistance tests , alternative etiologies were searched .
proper preservation of the drugs is as important as taking them in suitable doses and at appropriate time in terms of treatment outcome . according to the manufacturing firms
, the drug requires to be preserved under 35c , away from excess heat , light and moisture .
, heat levels inside waiting cars probably exceed the prescribed limits for preservation and therefore the drug degenerates .
entecavir should not be preserved at very low or high temperature and should be avoided from exposure to moisture and direct sun light .
the author therefore suggests that when the response to antiviral treatment is not obtained , patient compliance as well as drug preservation conditions should be examined , and patient should be counseled to preserve the drug at requisite temperatures at all times . | pubmed |
forecasting methodologies , traditionally motivated by numerical weather prediction ( nwp ) , can find applications in other fields such as engineering @xcite , finance @xcite , epidemiology @xcite , and marketing @xcite .
techniques borrowed from the weather forecasting community may prove to be powerful for forecasting these other types of complex systems .
fluid systems can be particularly challenging due to dynamics taking place at multiple interacting spatial and temporal scales .
however , because of their relationship to nwp , fluid systems are among the most studied in the context of forecasting . in this paper , we show that the flow in a computational fluid dynamics ( cfd ) simulated thermosyphon undergoing chaotic convection can be accurately forecast using an ordinary differential equation ( ode ) model akin to the classic @xcite system .
the thermosyphon , a type of natural convection loop or non - mechanical heat pump , can be likened to a toy model of climate .
thermosyphons are used in solar water heaters @xcite , cooling systems for computers @xcite , roads and railways that cross permafrost @xcite , nuclear power plants @xcite , and other industrial applications . in these heat pumps ,
buoyant forces move fluid through a closed loop , and at high amounts of forcing they can exhibit complex aperiodic behavior .
as first suggested by @xcite , this is illustrative of the unpredictable convection behavior observed in weather and climate dynamics .
synthetic observations of the thermosyphon are combined with model data to produce new forecasts in the process known as data assimilation ( da ) .
da is a generic method of combining observations with past forecasts to produce the analysis , an approximately optimal initial condition ( ic ) for the next forecast cycle .
another interpretation of the analysis is that it is a `` best guess '' for the true system state as represented in the phase space of the model .
da can be used as a platform for the reanalysis of past observations , in which the dynamical model plays a key role in constraining the state estimates to be physically realistic @xcite . in the present study ,
we use an analysis of simulated thermosyphon mass flow rate data to explain the heat transport processes occurring during chaotic flow reversals , and to inform empirical forecasts of the occurrence of these flow reversals .
although the flow reversals are chaotic , we show they have short - term predictability , quantifying the extent to which this is possible with our methods .
this paper is structured in the following way : in sec .
[ sec : model ] , we explain the cfd simulation used to generate a synthetic true state or `` nature run '' of the thermosyphon and the separate forecasting model . in sec . [
sec : da ] we present an overview of how da was applied to this experiment and its performance . in sec .
[ sec : reversals ] we explain and present the results for flow reversal and rotational state residency time forecasts . finally , sec .
[ sec : conclusion ] contains concluding remarks . in appendices s1 - 4 in the supporting information we present a derivation of the model , detail the tuning of model parameters , and explain in detail the da methods used . while the top wall is maintained at the temperature @xmath0 , creating a temperature inversion of hot fluid below cold fluid .
if conduction alone can not stabilize this temperature inversion , then the fluid will begin to rotate and convection becomes the dominant process of heat transfer .
the relevant model state variables are proportional to the bulk fluid velocity @xmath1 and the temperature difference across the loop @xmath2 . for counterclockwise flow , as indicated by the arrow near 9 oclock , fluid velocity @xmath3 and @xmath2 is typically @xmath4 .
the radius ratio @xmath5 used in our experiments is shown to scale . ]
following previous experiments that examined the periodic @xcite and chaotic @xcite behavior of toroidal thermosyphons , we also consider a circular thermosyphon geometry .
picture a vertically - oriented hula hoop , as shown in fig .
[ fig : loopcartoon ] .
an imposed wall temperature @xmath6 on the lower half of the loop ( @xmath7 ) heats the fluid contained in this section .
similarly , a wall temperature @xmath8 is imposed on the upper half ( @xmath9 ) to cool the upper section ( fig .
[ fig : loopcartoon ] ) .
the forcing , proportional to the temperature difference @xmath10 , is constant .
we focus on the case of developed flow , ignoring transient behavior .
the behavior of the fluid can be qualitatively understood as follows . as the heating parameter is increased , the flow behavior transitions from a conduction state ( conducting equilibrium ) to a steady , unidirectional state of convection ( convecting equilibrium ) .
no particular rotational state ( clockwise , cw , or counterclockwise , ccw ) is favored due to symmetry . at still higher heating values , chaotic flow oscillations can be observed . in the chaotic regime , the flow
is observed to oscillate around one unstable convecting equilibrium state until flow reversal .
each flow reversals causes the system to transition between cw and ccw rotational states .
the reference state of the thermosyphon is represented by a cfd - based numerical simulation in two spatial dimensions ( 2d ) .
the details of the computational model have been described in detail in a previous study by @xcite ; however , for completeness , we summarize here its essential elements . it is assumed that the temperature differential @xmath11 is sufficiently small so that temperature - dependent variations of material properties can be regarded as negligible , save for the density .
the standard boussinesq approximation is invoked and all fluid properties are assumed to be constant and evaluated at the reference temperature @xmath12 .
the flow is assumed to be laminar , two - dimensional , with negligible viscous dissipation due to low velocities . under these circumstances ,
the governing dimensionless equations are the unsteady , 2d laminar navier - stokes equations along with the energy equation and equation of state for the density .
no slip velocity boundary conditions are imposed on the walls and isothermal boundary conditions of @xmath6 and @xmath0 are imposed on the heated and cooled lower and upper walls , respectively .
the dimensionless control parameter for convection is the rayleigh number , defined here as @xmath13 where @xmath14 is the gravitational acceleration , @xmath15 is the thermal expansion coefficient , @xmath16 is the kinematic viscosity , and @xmath17 is the thermal diffusivity .
the one dimensionless geometric parameter is the ratio of major ( loop ) radius @xmath18 to minor ( tube ) radius @xmath19 , hereafter referred to as the radius ratio .
consistent with the previous study , the dimensions of the loop are chosen with @xmath18 = 36 cm and @xmath19 = 1.5 cm to yield a radius ratio of 24 .
as in the classic rayleigh - bnard problem , the rayleigh number determines the onset of convection in the thermosyphon .
for the numerical simulations on this fixed geometry , a range of rayleigh numbers can be imposed by varying the value of the gravitational acceleration . as the rayleigh number is increased from zero , the flow behavior transitions from a stationary , conduction state to a steady , unidirectional state of convection . at still higher values of ra , chaotic flow oscillations can be observed . unless otherwise indicated , the simulation results presented in this paper correspond to a value of ra= @xmath20 , which is within the chaotic regime .
all numerical simulations were performed using the commercial cfd software @xcite , which is based on the finite - volume method .
( an example of the output is shown in fig .
[ fig : regchangeprofiles ] , in the discussion of flow reversals . ) during the course of the simulations , the time - varying mass flow rate , a scalar denoted by @xmath21 and proportional to @xmath1 , is saved at 10 s intervals .
this reporting interval is conservative , as laboratory thermocouples can be sampled more than once pre second . in doing so , a time series of the `` true '' synthetic thermosyphon state
is recorded to be used in a forecasting scheme .
the ehrhard - mller ( em ) system is a three - variable ode derived specifically to model bulk flow in the thermosyphon ( @xcite ; also see appendix s1 in the supporting information for an alternative derivation ) .
written in dimensionless form , the governing equations are [ eq : em ] @xmath22 the state variable @xmath23 is proportional to the mass flow rate or mean fluid velocity , @xmath24 to the temperature difference across the convection cell ( @xmath25 , measured between 3 oclock and 9 oclock ) , and @xmath26 to the deviation of the vertical temperature profile from the value it takes during conduction ; specifically , @xmath27 , where @xmath28 is the temperature difference measured between 6 oclock and 12 oclock .
the parameter @xmath29 is comparable to the prandtl number , the ratio of momentum diffusivity and thermal diffusivity .
similar to the rayleigh number , the heating parameter @xmath30 determines the onset of convection as well as the transition to the chaotic regime .
finally , @xmath31 determines the magnitude of variation of the wall heat transfer coefficient with velocity .
the functional form of that variation is determined by @xmath32 , where @xmath33 the interested reader is referred to appendix s1 in the supporting information for an explanation of this piecewise form , which differs slightly from the original model of @xcite . note that when @xmath34 , the system is analogous to the @xcite system with geometric factor ( lorenz s @xmath35 ) equal to one .
the lack of a geometric factor in the em system is due to the circular geometry of the convection cell .
lorenz equations have been widely used in nonlinear dynamics to study chaos and in nwp as a model system for testing da @xcite .
when in the chaotic parameter regime , the em system exhibits growing oscillations in the @xmath23 and @xmath24 state variables around their convecting equilibrium values until flow reversal . in this system ,
the ccw rotational state is characterized by @xmath36 and @xmath37 , and the cw rotational state by @xmath38 and @xmath39 .
however , one should note that near a flow reversal @xmath23 and @xmath24 can have opposite signs , because zero - crossings of the @xmath23 variable typically lag behind those of @xmath24 .
the parameters found to match the simulated thermosyphon were @xmath40 , @xmath41 , and @xmath42 . the characteristic time and mass flow rate scales , used to transform the dimensionless model variables @xmath43 and
@xmath23 into dimensional time and `` observations '' of mass flow rate , were 631.6 s and 0.0136 kg / s , respectively .
the @xmath21 scale is the one nonzero entry in the observation operator @xmath44 , eqn . .
the above parameters were found using a multiple shooting algorithm explained in appendix s1.2 in the supporting information .
numerical integration of this autonomous ode was performed with a fourth - order runge - kutta method and timestep 0.01 ( corresponding to 6.316 s ) in @xcite .
da is the process by which observations of a dynamical system are combined with forecasts from a model to estimate error covariances and calculate an optimal estimate for the current state of the system , called the analysis .
the inherent difficulties are compounded by the fact that the forecaster uses an inexact forecasting model and never knows the true state of the dynamical system .
the number of state variables in a nwp model is typically @xmath45 times larger than the number of observations .
nevertheless , the analysis becomes the ic for a new forecast .
the time interval between successive applications of the da algorithm , i.e. the time between analysis steps ( usually determined by the availability of observations but here allowed to vary ) , is called the assimilation window .
the process is illustrated in fig .
[ fig : daexample ] .
a variety of filters are capable of solving the da problem .
the canonical example is the kalman filter ( kf ; @xcite ) , the optimal state estimation algorithm for a linear system .
one of da s first applications was to trajectory estimation and correction of missiles and rockets @xcite .
a number of nonlinear da schemes are implemented in this study . in 3d
variational da ( 3d - var ; here 3d refers to the spatial dimensions for weather models ) , the background error covariance is estimated a single time , offline , prior to the data assimilation procedure . in the extended kalman filter ( ekf ) ,
background error is evolved according to the linear tangent model , which approximates the evolution of small perturbations about the trajectory .
ensemble kalman filters ( collectively enkfs ) use ensembles of forecasts to estimate the background error and better capture nonlinear behavior .
the methods examined in this study were 3d - var , the ekf , the ensemble square root kalman filter ( ensrf ) , and the ensemble transform kalman filter ( etkf ) .
detailed descriptions of each method are included in appendix s2 in the supporting information .
a full review of da is beyond the scope of the present paper ; for a comprehensive treatment , we refer the reader to @xcite .
a perfect model experiment , in which the lorenz equations were used to forecast a synthetic truth created by the exact same system , was tested first but not included here .
we found analysis errors similar to those reported by @xcite ( 3d - var and ekf ) and @xcite ( etkf ) , using the same model and tuning parameters .
this ensured that the da algorithms were working before applying them to the synthetic thermosyphon data .
as stated in sec .
[ sec : thermosyphon ] , forecasts of the thermosyphon are made observing one scalar variable , the mass flow rate @xmath46 .
gaussian noise with standard deviation equal to @xmath47 kg / s , approximately @xmath48 of the mass flow rate climatological mean , @xmath49 kg / s , is added to the synthetic truth to create observations .
the relative magnitude of this error is comparable to that of experimental measurements .
the em model is used in the forecast step to integrate the analysis forward in time and create the new background forecast .
the end results of applying da are a background and analysis timeseries of @xmath50 , informed by both the timeseries of thermosyphon mass flow rate and the em model dynamics . in this realistic forecasting scenario ,
where only limited information about the true state is available , the observations of state variable @xmath21 provide the only validation .
for this reason , we calculate the forecast errors in observation space .
these are given as root mean square error ( rmse ) , where @xmath51 .
the residual at a specific assimilation cycle is given by @xmath52 . here
, @xmath53 is the background forecast made by the model , and @xmath54 is the linear observation operator @xmath55\ ] ] in units of kg / s . all errors are then scaled by @xmath56 , the climatology of @xmath21 .
analysis error is a common metric for assessing da performance in perfect model experiments . in this study , however , we assert that background error is preferable .
analysis error in observation space , which will be small even for large assimilation windows , is not an appropriate metric for assessing model performance since it can disagree substantially with the background error .
for example , 3d - var in one experiment with a 10 minute assimilation window yielded analysis and background scaled errors of 0.08 and 0.86 , respectively . the analysis error would seem to indicate that forecasting is doing a good job , but the background error shows that background forecasts are essentially meaningless .
the filter , however , accounts for this and weights the observations heavily over the background forecasts when producing the analysis . since we are concerned with forecasting , background error is a more representative metric
when applying da to nonlinear systems , some type of covariance inflation is performed to prevent filter divergence due to error underestimation .
@xcite found that a lorenz forecasting model with a slightly different forcing parameter required a 10-fold increase in the multiplicative inflation factor when using a 3 member enkf .
model error is more pronounced for our forecasts , since the em model is a reduced approximation of the numerically simulated thermosyphon .
we relied upon additive and multiplicative background covariance inflation to capture model error .
additive inflation was particularly important for the stability of the ekf and enkfs .
additive noise provides a different exploration of dynamically accessible regions of state space , and it would be interesting to explore why additive versus multiplicative is preferred in certain cases , although this is beyond the scope of this paper . the specifics of how inflation was performed and tuned , and the parameters used are given in appendix s2 in the supporting information .
all em and da parameter tuning was performed using a separate mass flow rate time series than was used for validation . each da algorithm was allowed 500 cycles to spin - up , and its performance was measured over the following 2500 cycles .
ensemble size in each case was set to 10 members .
over 2500 assimilation cycles plotted for different da algorithms and varying assimilation windows .
as the window becomes larger , the error increases towards saturation .
the lower dashed line in the main figure shows the limit of a `` perfect '' forecast while the upper demarcates a `` useless '' forecast . ] with proper tuning , all da algorithms were capable of synchronizing the em model to observations of mass flow rate alone .
as the assimilation window increased , scaled background error increased in a sigmoidal fashion , as expected ( see fig .
[ fig : emfwindows ] ) . for assimilation windows up to 2.5 min ,
all da algorithms have nearly indistinguishable errors . for assimilation windows between 3 and 6 min
, 3d - var performs noticeably worse than the other methods which remain indistinguishable . then , with assimilation windows greater than 6 min , the ensemble methods ( ensrf and etkf ) outperform the ekf noticeably .
this is perhaps surprising , at first glance , because the ensemble size is significantly smaller than the dimension of the simulated thermosyphon state space ( @xmath57 variables ) .
however , we know the thermosyphon dynamics effectively take place on the em equations attractor ( a manifold in three dimensions ) .
the superior performance of enkfs here is likely due to the ensemble methods capturing nonlinear effects which dominate at larger windows . following the historical s1 score convention , scaled error above 70%
is considered a `` useless '' forecast , while under 20% the forecast is `` perfect '' @xcite .
perfect forecasts for 3d - var were found up to a 4 minute assimilation window , while the other methods ( ensrf , etkf , and ekf ) produced perfect forecasts with assimilation windows 1.5 minutes longer . a persistent spike in background error for the 5 minute assimilation window ( fig .
[ fig : emfwindows ] ) is possibly due to that time being approximately the same as the characteristic period of oscillations in @xmath21 ( evident in fig .
[ fig : daexample ] ) .
we conjecture that this may lead to a type of resonance in the da - coupled em system which degrades da performance . besides these results pertaining to forecast skill
, we also found that the da algorithms infer thermosyphon dynamics which are absent from the em model . in fig . [
fig : attractor ] we see the simulated thermosyphon s attractor obtained by both a time - delay embedding ( fig .
[ fig : attractor](a ) ; @xcite ) and a projection of the em analysis states to the @xmath23-@xmath24 plane ( fig .
[ fig : attractor](b ) ) .
if the thermosyphon fluid flow stalls in the midst of a reversal , fluid in the bottom can quickly heat up while that in the top is cooled , leading to an unstable , strong temperature inversion .
this causes the fluid to move very quickly in the reversed direction , but this new direction also ends up being unstable , and a new flow reversal can occur immediately .
absent da , the em model system does not exhibit this behavior of stalling followed by large swings of the trajectory . in the time - delay embedding ( fig .
[ fig : attractor](a ) ) , this phenomenon is exhibited by small loops in the trajectory as it moves near the convective fixed points .
the flow stalls when the system state is near the conductive fixed point at the origin , then it swings wildly which brings it near the convective fixed point , but in such a way that it does not end up spiraling outward in the usual fashion as during a normal flow reversal , as exhibited by the lorenz equations .
instead , it quickly reverses again , which we call non - lorenz behavior .
this non - lorenz behavior is further elaborated upon in sec .
[ sec : revoccur.new ] .
forecast skill is worst at the far edges of the assimilated attractor ( fig .
[ fig : attractor](b ) ) .
this could be due to the wild swings of the em trajectory after being ejected from the region of state space near the conducting equilibrium , or to the nonlinear dynamical instabilities at the edge of the attractor found by @xcite and @xcite .
that creeps towards 0 with @xmath23,@xmath58 , before the state swings quickly ( b ) through one oscillation in the cw rotational state .
this is followed by one oscillation in the ccw state ( c ) before another stall near the conducting point and subsequent swing ( b again ) before settling into lorenz - like oscillations ( d ) .
note that the filter only observes the @xmath23 variable but is able to reconstruct the dynamics in the full state space . ]
we also explicitly show one of these stalled flow reversals in fig .
[ fig : perfectstorm ] , where we plot the ekf - assimilated em trajectory using a 30 s assimilation window .
when the fluid stalls , the @xmath26 variable moves closer to 0 ( i.e. @xmath28 increases ) while @xmath23 and @xmath24 ( proportional to @xmath21 and @xmath2 , respectively ) are approximately 0 , reflecting the growing temperature inversion while the fluid remains stationary .
when the fluid starts to move , the assimilated trajectory swings wildly to the left attractor lobe ( cw rotational state ) , then right ( ccw rotational state ) .
the trajectory undergoes another stall - swing cycle before finally resuming lorenz behavior , where the trajectory spirals outward from the ccw convecting equilibria .
this contrasts the lorenz and em model dynamics , for which large deviations in the system state from convecting equilibrium are driven close to the other convecting equilibrium during a flow reversal , which stabilizes the system .
see also sec .
[ sec : revoccur.new ] , fig .
[ fig : emfregchange ] , and the accompanying discussion .
this result remains unchanged for the other da algorithms also using a 30 s assimilation window .
the inference remains using ekf and a 60 s assimilation window , but the trajectory appears much noisier , leading us to believe that this is due to the rapid update . with larger assimilation windows ,
the trajectory becomes uninterpretable as error in the unobserved variables increases .
for the purpose of flow reversal forecasts , we picked a single da algorithm and assimilation window . in this section ,
all analyses were generated by the extended kalman filter and an assimilation window of 30 s. this interval corresponds to 5 time steps of the model and is shorter than that used in @xcite and @xcite .
the following could certainly be repeated using other algorithms , observations , and assimilation windows , but this was beyond the scope of this paper .
the flow reversal tests in sec .
[ sec : revoccur.tests ] and the residency time forecasts in sec . [
sec : revoccur.dur ] were tuned and validated on separate analysis timeseries .
the length of the tuning and validation timeseries were approximately 39 and 93 days , respectively .
the first explanation of the mechanism responsible for flow reversals was presented by @xcite and repeated by @xcite .
welander , who was also the first to discover that thermosyphons exhibit aperiodic oscillatory behavior , explained the instability of steady convecting flow by considering a thermal anomaly or `` warm pocket '' of fluid . for low heating rates ,
the convecting equilibrium is stable because viscous and thermal dissipation are in phase , thus an increase ( decrease ) in flow rate leads to an increase ( decrease ) in friction and a decrease ( increase ) in buoyancy , and such perturbations are damped out . at higher heating rates , the warm pocket is amplified with each cycle through the loop due to out of phase viscous and thermal dissipation s .
welander explained that when the warm pocket emerges from the heating section and enters the cooling section , it feels a greater buoyant force than the surrounding fluid and accelerates , exiting the cooling section quickly , giving it less time to radiate away its energy .
as the pocket moves into the section with warm boundary , the buoyant force it experiences is again higher than normal , so now the pocket decelerates and passes slowly through the heating section , gaining more energy .
this positive feedback effect causes the pocket to grow hotter and larger with each pass through the loop .
these oscillations in the fluid temperature and velocity do not grow unhindered , however .
the pocket eventually becomes large and hot enough that its descent towards the heating section is stopped entirely by its own buoyancy . without movement , the pocket dissipates , but its remnant heat biases new rotation in the opposite direction , and the flow reverses . in the lorenz and em systems ,
this feedback is embodied in the spiraling repulsion of trajectories from the unstable convecting equilibria at the center of each lobe or wing of the attractor before moving to the other lobe . because the growth of oscillations is an important component to the flow reversal process in both the cfd simulated thermosyphon and em system
, we define here what is meant by oscillation amplitude in each case . in the cfd simulated thermosyphon , it is the maximum distance of the system state from the nearest convecting equilibrium , where system state is understood to mean the state of the entire temperature and velocity flow fields in the cfd simulation . when considering the da - generated em analysis ,
the @xmath59th @xmath23 oscillation amplitude @xmath60 is defined as the maximum amplitude @xmath61 where @xmath62 $ ] is the time interval of the @xmath59th oscillation .
three separate tests were developed to predict , at each assimilation step , whether a flow reversal would occur within the next oscillation period ( approximately 11 min ) , here taken to be within the next 20 da cycles .
see sec .
[ sec : revoccur.skill1 ] and appendix s3 in the supporting information for a description of how the tunable parameters were chosen .
the simplest test forecasts a flow reversal whenever the background forecast changes rotational state .
note that to forecast a flow reversal occurring in the future , the background forecast started from the most recent analysis ic provides our only information about the system s future state .
ignoring the three - dimensional nature of the state space , a flow reversal is forecast whenever @xmath23 crosses through zero .
note also that the forecast is unable to predict flow reversals that occur beyond the lead time , and that lead forecast quality quickly degrades as the lead time is increased .
we impose a limit on the number of assimilation cycles to look ahead , @xmath63 , so that the algorithm does not trust forecasts too far in advance .
an ensemble of perturbed states forming a small ball around the analysis can be used to represent uncertainty in the ic .
a nonlinear system will dynamically stretch and shrink such a ball around its trajectory as it moves through the attractor @xcite .
small perturbations to points on a trajectory are integrated forward in time , and the differences between perturbed and unperturbed solutions are called bred vectors ( bvs ) . here
, the rescaling amplitude is 0.001 and the integration time coincides with the 30 s assimilation window . the average bv growth rate is a useful measure of local instabilities @xcite .
@xcite , studying perfect - model forecasting of the lorenz system , set a bv growth rate threshold which accounted for 91.4% of the observed flow reversals ( hit rate ) .
our bv test simply forecasts a flow reversal whenever the average bv growth rate over the previous assimilation window exceeds a threshold , @xmath64 .
the final test uses the fact that flow reversals are suspected to be caused by out of phase viscous and thermal dissipation .
since the friction term grows with fluid velocity @xmath65 and the thermal dissipation grows with the size of the temperature anomaly , related to @xmath24 , we examined the correlation between those two variables over a tunable number of previous analysis cycles . specifically , when the slope of the least - squares linear fit of @xmath66 previous analysis points @xmath67^t$ ] for @xmath68 exceeds a threshold @xmath69 , a flow reversal is forecast .
see fig .
[ fig : corr ] for an illustration of this process .
interestingly , increasing autocorrelation of the state seems to be a universal property of many systems in advance of critical transitions @xcite .
^t$ ] correlation exceeds a threshold ( red ) , a flow reversal is forecast .
correct positive predictions are shown as filled circles and false positives as open circles .
the starred point corresponds to the inset , which shows how correlation is computed as the slope of the least squares fit ( green line ) of previous analysis points , and the arrow shows the direction of the trajectory .
note that each analysis cycle where the correlation fails to exceed the threshold counts as a correct negative forecast ( not shown ) .
there are no false negatives , i.e. misses , in this timeseries . here
@xmath70 and @xmath71 are the same as for tab .
[ tbl : con ] . ]
we found that the analysis @xmath23 oscillation amplitude preceding each flow reversal is correlated with the duration of the following rotational state , shown in fig .
[ fig : emfregchange ] .
we refer to these durations between flow reversals as residency times .
residency times are observed at discernible `` steps '' corresponding to integer numbers of oscillations .
this correlation makes the @xmath23 oscillation amplitude a plausible predictor for residency time in the new rotational state .
furthermore , the average bv growth rate measured over the assimilation window preceding that extremum follows a clear gradient in fig .
[ fig : emfregchange ] , the growth rate increasing with oscillation amplitude .
the bv growth rate gradient implies that more unstable system states precede longer residency times in the next rotational state .
outliers with @xmath72 result in shorter residency times than expected from making similar plots to fig .
[ fig : emfregchange ] for the pure lorenz and em systems ( not shown ) . in the lorenz and em systems ,
the steps continue to move upwards with @xmath23 oscillation amplitude .
the discrepancy is due to the non - lorenz behavior that was mentioned at the end of sec .
[ sec : da.results ] our residency time prediction algorithm proceeds as follows . when a flow reversal is forecast by one of the methods described in sec .
[ sec : revoccur.tests ] , the algorithm first calculates @xmath73 as defined by eqn . for the presently occurring oscillation .
the algorithm uses only the analysis and lead forecast data available at the time the flow reversal test is triggered when estimating @xmath73 .
the algorithm then examines the residency times of all flow reversals which followed an @xmath73 in the interval @xmath74 .
these ordered pairs of amplitudes and residency times are drawn from the training timeseries . from the relative abundance of residency times in this sample ,
we assign a probability to the number of flow oscillations in the forthcoming rotational state .
( see the inset histogram in fig .
[ fig : emfregchange ] . ) the categories are restricted to 16 oscillations ( a duration of 7 oscillations , shown in fig .
[ fig : emfregchange ] , is observed exactly once in the training timeseries , so it was considered too rare an event to merit a category ) .
the typical residency times corresponding to 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , and 6 oscillations are taken to be 11.48 , 23.09 , 33.72 , 44.38 , 55.11 , and 66.08 minutes , respectively ; the oscillation category associated with a given residency time is taken to be that with the closest time in this list .
this algorithm generates a probabilistic forecast from the relative abundance of points in each oscillation category .
an example output would be 20% , 40% , 30% , and 10% chance of 1 , 2 , 3 , and 4 oscillations in the next rotational state and zero probability of 5 or 6 oscillations .
not all flow reversals occur when the system reaches the same flow oscillation amplitude , nor do all rotational states last the same amount of time . during a flow reversal , the fluid motion stalls after hot
fluid extends across the entire heating section into the cooling section ( see sec . [
sec : revoccur.trad ] and fig .
[ fig : regchangeprofiles ] ) .
the magnitudes of this hot `` tongue '' and , likewise , the opposite cold tongue affect the stability of the system as it reverses .
if the oscillation is small , it will mostly dissipate before the new rotational state is entered , bringing the temperature profile close to that of conduction .
this is a highly unstable equilibrium , since the vertical temperature gradient builds until the fluid in the bottom is much hotter than the fluid above ( illustrated in the analysis in fig .
[ fig : perfectstorm ] ) .
when the fluid begins to rotate , it accelerates rapidly .
the large amount of heat carried by the fluid brings the system state far from the convecting equilibrium .
if the oscillation is large ( corresponding to a large deviation from convecting equilibrium in temperature and velocity ) , remnant warm and cool areas will be present in the top and bottom sections of the loop , respectively .
these stabilize the new rotational state near its convective equilibrium . the resulting duration is longer since the instability requires more time to grow before causing the next reversal .
these two situations are illustrated in fig .
[ fig : regchangeprofiles ] and explain the trend in the lorenz region of fig .
[ fig : emfregchange ] .
animations of the simulated temperature field during flow reversal are consistent with this explanation .
is provided online at http://www.uvm.edu/~kharris/thermosyphon/t-ra-18000-new.mp4 . ]
we believe that the behavior in the extremely large oscillation , non - lorenz region , where @xmath72 and shown in fig . [ fig : emfregchange ] , is caused by excessive remnant thermal energy after flow reversal .
although the temperature distribution present after a flow reversal is configured in a way that stabilizes the flow in the new rotational state , the very large magnitude of the temperature field is a competing , destabilizing factor that dominates as @xmath60 increases into the non - lorenz region .
this leads to shorter durations in the new rotational state before a second flow reversal occurs .
the results of the three tests are presented in tab .
[ tbl : con ] as two - by - two contingency tables .
shown in tab .
[ tbl : skill ] are the threat score ( ts ) , false alarm ratio ( far ) , and probability of detection ( pod ) @xcite .
given a non - probabilistic yes / no forecast with @xmath75 hits , @xmath35 false alarms , @xmath76 misses , and @xmath77 correct negatives for a total of @xmath78 events , these are defined as ts=@xmath79 , far=@xmath80 , pod=@xmath81 . because flow reversals are relatively rare events , the hit rate @xmath82 would be dominated by correct negatives . instead , ts is chosen as an appropriate overall performance metric since it disregards these frequent negative events and takes into account both false alarms and misses .
there are trade - offs among the various skill scores for each flow reversal test . tuning the reversal tests then amounts to multiobjective optimization , attempting to maximize ts , rps - avg , and rps - med ( the skill scores used for residency time forecasts , defined in sec .
[ sec : revoccur.skill2 ] ) , minimize far , and maintain pod above 95% .
the goal was to tune each method to all - around good performance , for both reversal occurrence and residency time forecasts . to guide the process
, plots of the skill scores were made for different tuning parameters , but the final tuning was performed ad hoc . in appendix s3 in the supporting information ,
s3 - 2 shows one of these tuning experiments with the final parameters chosen appearing in the center of each subfigure .
considering ts alone , the lead forecast performed best , followed by the correlation test , with the bv test performing poorest .
the bv test also had a very high far , leading us to conclude , in contrast to the results of @xcite for a perfect model experiment , that bv growth rate is a poor overall predictor of flow reversals in a realistic thermosyphon .
on the other hand , the correlation test had the lowest far while maintaining a high ts , but this comes at the price of more misses , resulting in a lower pod .
the reasonable performance of the correlation test in all areas lends circumstantial evidence to the claim that out of phase dissipations are indeed the cause of flow reversals .
the flow reversal occurrence tests are triggered in different situations , leading to variation in how far in advance flow reversals are detected , the `` warning time '' .
warning times were only computed for hits , i.e. forecast flow reversals which were observed to occur . the lead , bv , and correlation tests had average warning times of 175 , 217 , and 304 s respectively .
histograms of these warning times are presented in appendix s3 in the supporting information .
( a ) lead forecast , n=175592 + .contingency tables for the three flow reversal tests .
the parameters used were : @xmath83 , @xmath84 , and @xmath85 . for a detailed description of the tuning ,
see the text and fig . s3 - 2 in appendix s3 in the supporting information .
[ tbl : con ] [ cols="^,^,^,^ " , ] the results of the multiple shooting algorithm are shown in fig .
[ fig : multshoot ] and table [ tbl : params ] .
the kf is well - known and widely used in linear da and control problems .
although the thermosyphon is highly nonlinear , the linear update equations are similar to those of the nonlinear algorithms used for this experiment .
the kf attempts to assimilate observations and forecasts for a process of the form @xmath86 in this case , @xmath87 is the true state , which advances in time according to the linear process @xmath88 , which is unknown but approximated by the model @xmath89 .
subscripts index the time step . using the model ,
the analysis from the previous time step is integrated to generate the background forecast for the current time step @xmath90 where @xmath89 is the linear model , @xmath91 is the old analysis , and @xmath53 is the background . because @xmath89 is only an approximation of @xmath88 , a perfect initial condition will not lead to a perfect forecast , so @xmath92 where the model errors @xmath93 have covariance @xmath94 ( usually assumed to be constant in time ) and are written on the right hand side for convenience . when deemed unnecessary , time subscripts are left out
. given an observation @xmath95 and background forecast @xmath53 , the kf finds the optimal way to combine them into the _ analysis _
@xmath91 , the best guess of the current state .
this becomes the ic when forecasting with the model , eqn . .
in an operational context , we usually can not observe every state variable . if @xmath96 and @xmath97 , then @xmath98 ( in nwp @xmath99 ) , so we define the observation operator @xmath100 that takes the background forecast from the model state space into the observation space .
this serves two purposes : first , it avoids extrapolation of observations to gridpoints in state space ; and second , it enables us to interpret our forecasts by comparing them directly to observations . for the thermosyphon , @xmath101 is linear , so we write it as @xmath44 , but this is usually not the case for the observations in nwp , e.g. , satellite radiances and radar reflectivities .
the complete application of the kf consists of a forecast step [ eq : kffcast ] @xmath102 and an analysis step [ eq : kfanalysis ] @xmath103 with the kalman gain @xmath104 given by @xmath105 the forecast equations create the background forecast and update the background error covariance .
the new background error covariance is the old analysis error integrated forward plus the model error @xmath94 . in the analysis step
, this background forecast is incremented by the gain times the innovation ( @xmath106 ) to produce the analysis .
the difference between the analysis and the background is referred to as the _ analysis increment _ ; statistical properties of these increments can be used to reduce model error @xcite .
the new analysis error is equal to the background error reduced by a factor of @xmath107 . by finding the analysis ,
the filter has revealed the best possible starting point for the next background forecast .
in fact , if the system is linear , the kf is the optimal algorithm for state - estimation . rather than minimize the analysis error variance ,
the analysis equations can also be derived by finding the analysis state @xmath91 that minimizes the quadratic scalar cost function @xmath108 .
the cost @xmath109 has its minimum at @xmath110 , where @xmath91 is given by eqn . .
this is called the 3d variational ( 3d - var ) method since the minimization for nwp is with respect to a state vector embedded in a three - dimensional field ( latitude , longitude , and height ) . formally , both 3d - var and the kf yield the same solution @xcite
. however , in this case the control variable is the analysis , while in the kf the control variable is the weight matrix itself . in operational nwp , where the dimension of the state space @xmath111 is of @xmath112 , the numerical implementations of 3d - var and the nonlinear kf are drastically different .
because 3d - var assumes the background error @xmath113 is fixed in time , the kalman gain @xmath114 needs to be calculated only once .
the calculation of @xmath114 is the most computationally prohibitive part of da because it requires solving a linear system in @xmath111 variables .
a constant @xmath114 thus makes the algorithm computationally simple ; the most difficult part of implementing 3d - var is finding the optimal @xmath113 . however , a static @xmath113 is not realistic . from a dynamical systems standpoint ,
uncertainty is closely related to stability , which is clearly dependent on the system state . in the thermosyphon ,
the true background error is typically smaller when the system state is near the unstable convecting equilibria than when the state is near the more unstable conducting equilibrium .
because 3d - var is computationally cheap , the national centers for environmental prediction ( ncep ) employ it to estimate ics for the national weather service 14-day global forecasts .
however , it can not detect so - called `` errors of the day '' , state - dependent forecast errors which grow quickly but are not represented in the 3d - var background error covariance matrix @xcite . in our implementation
, the 3d - var background error covariance @xmath115 was calculated iteratively , using a techniques similar to that described in @xcite .
we did this by calculating a time average of the outer product of analysis increments @xmath116 disregarding the initial 500 assimilation cycles and iterating the process until convergence . during this
, forecast errors were observed to decrease and stabilize .
this @xmath115 was first computed for the 30 s assimilation window .
it was stored and then used to bootstrap the iterative procedure for the 60 s assimilation window , which was stored and fed into the calculation for the 90 s assimilation window , etc .
the ekf is essentially the kf applied to a nonlinear model .
given a nonlinear model @xmath117 , the error covariances are updated by the _ linear tangent model _
@xmath118 which takes the place of @xmath89 in eqn . .
this model propagates small perturbations around the trajectory @xmath53 forward in time . to operate on the matrix @xmath119 with the linear tangent model ,
first take the jacobian of @xmath120 ( the right hand side of the nonlinear differential equation @xmath121 which describes the model @xmath117 ) and evaluate it at the background point @xmath53 ; call this matrix @xmath122 .
each column @xmath123 of @xmath119 , which can be thought of as an error perturbation to the analysis state , is then integrated forward in time according to the linear ode @xmath124 . also note that if the observation operator @xmath101 is nonlinear , it is replaced by a similar linear tangent model @xmath44 in the matrix equations and .
the transpose of these matrix functions are called _ adjoint models _ , which are used in sensitivity analysis of the state to perturbations . to propagate the background covariance without the explicit adjoint model , as eqn
. would require , @xmath113 was first decomposed with the cholesky factorization @xcite into the product of a lower and upper diagonal matrix before its columns were integrated forward with the linear tangent model @xmath89 .
@xmath125 this guarantees symmetry for the new analysis error covariance @xmath119 .
some modifications to the ekf algorithm are necessary to prevent filter divergence . a multiplicative inflation factor @xmath126
was applied to the background covariance matrix after the model integration and before the analysis step .
we also performed additive inflation , following @xcite .
random numbers uniformly distributed between 0 and @xmath127 were added to the diagonal elements of @xmath119 after performing the analysis and before the next forecast step , i.e. @xmath128 where @xmath129 is an @xmath111-dimensional vector whose entries are drawn from a uniform distribution between 0 and 1 . the enkf is a method that replaces a single forecast state with an ensemble of states .
the spread of the ensemble about its mean gives an approximation of the background error covariance and forecast uncertainty , while the ensemble average gives the best guess of the forecast .
the enkf was first introduced by @xcite . for a comprehensive overview of ensemble filters ,
see @xcite .
it was shown that if the observation , which has random error with covariance @xmath130 , is perturbed with @xmath131 random errors ( again with covariance @xmath130 ) , to make an @xmath131-member ensemble of independent observations @xmath132 , then the background error covariance can be written @xcite @xmath133 which is simply the unbiased average outer product of background perturbations @xmath134 $ ] . the background forecast of ensemble member @xmath135
is denoted @xmath136 , @xmath137 is the background forecast ensemble average , and @xmath138 is the @xmath135th member s deviation from the mean . in this case , each ensemble member is updated according to the kf equations for their associated observation the advantages of the enkf are many : there is no linear tangent model to compute , the number of ensemble members can be small ( @xmath139 for nwp ) relative to the dimensionality of the state space , and prior knowledge about the structure of the forecast errors is not necessary .
currently , 4d - var ( like 3d - var but also taking into account older observations ) and ensemble filters are the most promising candidates being considered to replace 3d - var in operational nwp . as with the ekf ,
ensemble filters tend to underestimate the background error , resulting in an ensemble spread which is typically less too small .
we again used multiplicative inflation of the background error , a common method shown to be successful in @xcite .
this is accomplished by setting @xmath140 before the analysis step .
additive inflation proved crucial to stabilizing both enkfs tested . without it ,
the filters sometimes worked but only with @xmath141 ; @xmath142 is supposed to be a small parameter .
as in the ekf , additive inflation is applied immediately after the analysis step , but in this case the noise is added to the analysis ensemble states @xmath143 for all @xmath144 .
the noise @xmath16 is , again , an @xmath111-dimensional random vector with entries drawn from the uniform distribution between 0 and 1 .
the original enkf adds noise to create linearly independent observations and is classified as a _
perturbed observations _ method @xcite .
this necessarily introduces additional sampling error into the forecast . for this reason
, @xcite introduced the ensemble square root filter ( ensrf ) as an improved enkf . in the ensrf ,
the ensemble mean is updated with the traditional kalman gain ( eqn . )
@xmath145 and deviations from the mean are updated by @xmath146 where @xmath147^t \times \left[\sqrt{\mathbf{hbh}^t+\mathbf{r}}+\sqrt{\mathbf{r } } \right]^{-1 } \;. \ ] ] when the observation is a scalar , it can be shown that @xmath148 if observation errors are uncorrelated ( @xmath130 is diagonal ) , then eqn .
can be used to process observations one at a time @xcite .
the updated analysis ensemble is then @xmath149 , where @xmath150 .
square root filters have better numerical stability and speed than their standard kf counterparts .
the potter square root filter was employed for navigation in the lunar module of the apollo program @xcite .
the etkf is another type of deterministic square root filter . in this variant ,
the analysis perturbations are assumed to be equal to the background perturbations postmultiplied by a transformation matrix @xmath151 so that the analysis error covariance satisfies eqn . .
the analysis covariance is written @xmath152 where @xmath153^{-1}$ ] .
the analysis perturbations are @xmath154 , where @xmath155^{1/2}$ ] .
see @xcite for further details .
the local ensemble transform filter ( letkf ) is a variant that computes the analysis at a given gridpoint using only local observations .
this allows for efficient parallelization .
localization removes spurious long - distance correlations from @xmath113 and allows greater flexibility in the global analysis by allowing different linear combinations of ensemble members at different spatial locations @xcite
. table [ tbl : datuneparam ] lists the tuning parameters used for the da experiments .
the tuning was done manually .
sensitivity of model error to the tuning parameters was checked by creating a course contour plot of background error for assimilation windows of 2 , 4 , 6 , 8 , and 10 minutes for each filter ; an example is shown in fig .
[ fig : s2 ] .
l|l|l + analysis window ( s ) & @xmath142 & @xmath127 + 30 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 60 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 90 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 120 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 150 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 180 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 210 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 240 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 270 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 300 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 330 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 360 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 390 & 0.2 & 0.25 + 420 & 0.2 & 0.25 + 450 & 0.2 & 0.25 + 480 & 0.25 & 0.25 + 510 & 0.25 & 0.25 + 540 & 0.25 & 0.25 + 570 & 0.25 & 0.25 + 600 & 0.25 & 0.25 l|l|l + analysis window ( s ) & @xmath142 & @xmath127 + 30 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 60 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 90 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 120 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 150 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 180 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 210 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 240 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 270 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 300 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 330 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 360 & 0.15 & 0.25 + 390 & 0.2 & 0.25 + 420 & 0.2 & 0.25 + 450 & 0.2 & 0.25 + 480 & 0.2 & 0.25 + 510 & 0.2 & 0.25 + 540 & 0.25 & 0.25 + 570 & 0.25 & 0.25 + 600 & 0.25 & 0.25 and @xmath127 were varied .
the chosen parameters @xmath156 and @xmath157 lie in the region of lowest error . ]
in fig . [ fig : regchgtune ] , we present skill score curves as the tuning parameters of the three flow reversal forecasts are varied .
we used a sequence of plots of this type to inform our tuning of the various flow reversal tests . for the correlation test , ( b ) @xmath158 for the bv test , and ( c ) @xmath159 for lead test
the dashed line is at 95% .
there are tradeoffs among the various skill scores ( pod , ts , rps - avg , rps - med ) and costs ( far ) .
the chosen , final parameters @xmath63 , @xmath160 , and @xmath161 ( with @xmath66 ) appear in the middle of each plot .
[ fig : regchgtune ] ] yang , s .- c . ,
baker , d. , li , h. , cordes , k. , huff , m. , nagpal , g. , okereke , e. , villafae , j. , kalnay , e. and duane , g. s. 2006 .
data assimilation as synchronization of truth and model .
_ journal of the atmospheric sciences _ * 63 * , 23402354 . | arxiv |
sixty subjects with type 1 diabetes were enrolled at the barbara davis center for diabetes at the university of colorado denver .
the first 60 adult patients ( 30 patients using mdi therapy and 30 on csii therapy ) who qualified based on the inclusion and exclusion criteria were included in this study .
the baseline a1c values were within 6.510.0% , and patients were willing to monitor their glucose ( smbg ) at least four times a day .
in addition , all subjects were willing to wear the cgm continuously throughout the 6-month study period . subjects who had used cgm for 6 weeks during the past 3 months were excluded from the study .
baseline demographic * and a1c results for study population * numbers in parentheses indicate sd or % .
baseline demographics including a1c values were similar in the two groups ( p > 0.05 ) . significant but similar reduction in a1c values in mdi and csii groups ( p < 0.01 ) .
the protocol was approved by the institutional review board , and all subjects provided written informed consent before enrollment .
subjects were enrolled prospectively and scheduled for a total of seven clinic visits ( at 0 , 4 , 8 , 12 , 16 , 20 , and 24 weeks ) . throughout this study , subjects used the dexcom sevenplus cgm system comprised of a 7-day transcutaneous sensor , a transmitter , and a receiver for 7-day wearing periods .
initially , subjects were blinded to glucose data for the first 4 weeks and thereafter unblinded for the remainder of the study ( 20 weeks ) . at each clinic visit ,
a1c values were collected , patients were screened for adverse events , and sensor insertion sites were assessed .
all subjects were provided with an smbg meter ( onetouch ultra , lifescan , milpitas , ca ) and test strips , which were used for receiver calibration and diabetes self - management purposes .
subjects were instructed to use only the meter(s ) provided to them for all smbg measurements taken throughout the study duration .
subjects were instructed to wear the study device during all normal daily activities and to capture events such as bolus insulin dose , carbohydrate intake , and exercise using the cgm event input function . at the beginning of the study ,
in addition , providers evaluated trends and alarms on the cgm and counseled patients on diabetes management including insulin dosing , treatment of hypoglycemia , and smbg .
all subjects were provided guidance ( according to subjects needs ) for adjusting insulin dose and/or food intake based on glucose trends , rate of change of glucose , and absolute glucose value in the case of hypoglycemia .
subjects were also instructed in timing of insulin bolus 1530 min before the meals in an attempt to achieve euglycemia in the postprandial phase .
general guidelines for increasing or decreasing the insulin dose were also provided , as have been previously described ( 15,16 ) .
subjects were also asked to wear the device and the sensor continuously for the study period . during the period of unblinded cgm use , receivers provided real - time continuous glucose data to the patients . when making treatment changes , subjects were instructed to use cgm data as an adjunct to , and not as a replacement for , smbg values as per u.s .
the primary outcome for both iit therapy groups was defined as change in a1c , comparing screening values to 3- and 6-month follow - up p values .
the secondary outcome was defined by measuring glycemic variability , including the amount of time spent within the target range ( wtr 3.910.0 mmol / l [ 70180 mg / dl ] ) , hypoglycemic excursions ( below target range [ btr ]
< 3.9 mmol / l [ 70 mg / dl ] ) , hyperglycemia excursions ( above target range [ atr ] 10.0
mmol / l [ 180 mg / dl ] ) , mean and sd of cgm glucose , and other glycemic variability indexes ( 17 ) .
compliance comparisons of cgm use between both groups were made by analyzing the number of sensors used , and adverse effects of the device such as insertion site reactions and adhesive - related inflammation or bleeding were recorded .
descriptive statistics for continuous variables were summarized using mean , sd , median , minimum , and maximum .
categorical variables such as patient diabetes history and baseline characteristics are summarized using counts and percentages .
the repeated - measures ancova model was used to evaluate the a1c change over time and therapy groups , adjusted for random subjects .
change in a1c between the 6-month follow - up and baseline within an individual was calculated and compared between therapy groups using an independent t test .
the two - sided 95% ci was then constructed based on the model , and the noninferiority of therapy group was then concluded if the upper limit was < 0.4% a1c , a prespecified margin of indifference .
the analysis was performed on the full intent - to - treat population ( subjects enrolled for whom at least one a1c was collected during the study ) .
similar analyses were conducted using data from only subjects who were categorized as compliant , and a similar approach was used for other continuous end points ( i.e. , time spent wtr , hypo- and hyperglycemia excursions , glycemic variability measurements ) .
all analyses were performed using sas software ( version 9.1.3 ; sas institute , cary , nc ) .
sixty subjects with type 1 diabetes were enrolled at the barbara davis center for diabetes at the university of colorado denver .
the first 60 adult patients ( 30 patients using mdi therapy and 30 on csii therapy ) who qualified based on the inclusion and exclusion criteria were included in this study .
the baseline a1c values were within 6.510.0% , and patients were willing to monitor their glucose ( smbg ) at least four times a day .
in addition , all subjects were willing to wear the cgm continuously throughout the 6-month study period . subjects who had used cgm for 6 weeks during the past 3 months were excluded from the study .
baseline demographic * and a1c results for study population * numbers in parentheses indicate sd or % .
baseline demographics including a1c values were similar in the two groups ( p > 0.05 ) . significant but similar reduction in a1c values in mdi and csii groups ( p < 0.01 ) .
the protocol was approved by the institutional review board , and all subjects provided written informed consent before enrollment .
subjects were enrolled prospectively and scheduled for a total of seven clinic visits ( at 0 , 4 , 8 , 12 , 16 , 20 , and 24 weeks ) . throughout this study , subjects used the dexcom sevenplus cgm system comprised of a 7-day transcutaneous sensor , a transmitter , and a receiver for 7-day wearing periods .
initially , subjects were blinded to glucose data for the first 4 weeks and thereafter unblinded for the remainder of the study ( 20 weeks ) . at each clinic visit ,
a1c values were collected , patients were screened for adverse events , and sensor insertion sites were assessed .
all subjects were provided with an smbg meter ( onetouch ultra , lifescan , milpitas , ca ) and test strips , which were used for receiver calibration and diabetes self - management purposes .
subjects were instructed to use only the meter(s ) provided to them for all smbg measurements taken throughout the study duration .
subjects were instructed to wear the study device during all normal daily activities and to capture events such as bolus insulin dose , carbohydrate intake , and exercise using the cgm event input function . at the beginning of the study ,
in addition , providers evaluated trends and alarms on the cgm and counseled patients on diabetes management including insulin dosing , treatment of hypoglycemia , and smbg .
all subjects were provided guidance ( according to subjects needs ) for adjusting insulin dose and/or food intake based on glucose trends , rate of change of glucose , and absolute glucose value in the case of hypoglycemia .
subjects were also instructed in timing of insulin bolus 1530 min before the meals in an attempt to achieve euglycemia in the postprandial phase .
general guidelines for increasing or decreasing the insulin dose were also provided , as have been previously described ( 15,16 ) .
subjects were also asked to wear the device and the sensor continuously for the study period . during the period of unblinded cgm use , receivers provided real - time continuous glucose data to the patients . when making treatment changes , subjects were instructed to use cgm data as an adjunct to , and not as a replacement for , smbg values as per u.s . food and drug administration label .
the primary outcome for both iit therapy groups was defined as change in a1c , comparing screening values to 3- and 6-month follow - up p values .
the secondary outcome was defined by measuring glycemic variability , including the amount of time spent within the target range ( wtr 3.910.0 mmol / l [ 70180 mg / dl ] ) , hypoglycemic excursions ( below target range [ btr ]
< 3.9 mmol / l [ 70 mg / dl ] ) , hyperglycemia excursions ( above target range [ atr ] 10.0
mmol / l [ 180 mg / dl ] ) , mean and sd of cgm glucose , and other glycemic variability indexes ( 17 ) .
compliance comparisons of cgm use between both groups were made by analyzing the number of sensors used , and adverse effects of the device such as insertion site reactions and adhesive - related inflammation or bleeding were recorded .
descriptive statistics for continuous variables were summarized using mean , sd , median , minimum , and maximum .
categorical variables such as patient diabetes history and baseline characteristics are summarized using counts and percentages .
the repeated - measures ancova model was used to evaluate the a1c change over time and therapy groups , adjusted for random subjects .
change in a1c between the 6-month follow - up and baseline within an individual was calculated and compared between therapy groups using an independent t test .
the two - sided 95% ci was then constructed based on the model , and the noninferiority of therapy group was then concluded if the upper limit was < 0.4% a1c , a prespecified margin of indifference .
the analysis was performed on the full intent - to - treat population ( subjects enrolled for whom at least one a1c was collected during the study ) .
similar analyses were conducted using data from only subjects who were categorized as compliant , and a similar approach was used for other continuous end points ( i.e. , time spent wtr , hypo- and hyperglycemia excursions , glycemic variability measurements ) .
all analyses were performed using sas software ( version 9.1.3 ; sas institute , cary , nc ) .
one subject withdrew from the study after baseline and one subject did not complete the last two visits because of scheduling conflicts . at the 6-month mark , 34 subjects met the per - protocol requirements of using the cgm at least 6 days a week .
an equal number of per - protocol subjects were on mdi and csii therapy ( n = 17 , table 1 ) .
all patients were provided with unlimited sensors ; however , because of schedule conflicts , losing the sensor or being bothered by the alarms were the main reasons for noncompliance in 26 subjects . over the 6-month study period , there was a tendency of similar a1c values between mdi and csii groups ( p = 0.584 ) .
significant changes in a1c during follow - up were observed ( p < 0.001 ) , with lowest a1c values of 7.4% for mdi and 7.3% for csii at week 12 .
the mean ( sd ) change in a1c within subjects from screening to 6 months was 0.16 0.84% for mdi and 0.02 0.59% for csii .
the 95% ci for difference in change of a1c between mdi and csii groups was 0.26% ( less than the 0.4% predetermined noninferiority margin ) .
the difference in a1c from screening to 6 months was not statistically significant in both mdi and csii therapy groups ( p = 0.3273 ) .
similar results were obtained for per - protocol population analysis ( table 1 ) . for the mdi group , a1c reduction from screening to 6 months among protocol - compliant subjects was 0.16 0.59% ( mean sd ) compared with an increasing a1c of 0.36 0.85% for noncompliant subjects . for the csii group , the protocol compliant subjects showed changes in a1c similar to noncompliant subjects ( 0.02 vs. 0.07% , respectively ) . at the 6-month follow - up visit , the overall study population s ( itt ) time spent wtr ( 3.910.0 mmol / l [ 70180 mg / dl ] ) increased by an average of 0.7 h / day for the csii group and 1.4 h / day for the mdi group when compared with the cgm - blinded baseline period ( table 2 , p = 0.009 ) . similarly , the time spent in the hypoglycemic range ( < 3.9 mmol / l [ 70 mg / dl ] ) was reduced by 21% in the csii group and 30% in the mdi group ( table 2 , p > 0.05 ) . glucose control and variability indexes in the two groups
* itt analysis showed no difference in mean glucose value or glucose variability indexes in the two groups .
there was a significant reduction in mean glucose , mage , grade , and time spent in hyperglycemia in the csii group when compared with mdi group .
however , there were similar but significant reductions in all parameters in the unblinded phase . for both therapy groups ,
the number of glycemic excursions ( hyper- and hypoglycemic ) were decreased ( p < 0.001 ; figs . 1 and 2 ) similarly . when compared with the cgm - blinded phase , subjects spent less time in hypo- and hyperglycemia during the unblinded cgm phase .
changes in hypoglycemic excursions during the study period were similar in itt ( n = 60 ) ( a ) and per - protocol analysis ( n = 34 ) ( b ) .
changes in hyperglycemic excursions during the study period were also similar in the itt analysis ( n = 60 ) ( a ) . however , hyperglycemic excursions were significantly lower in the csii group in the subgroup analysis ( per - protocol analysis , n = 34 , b ) .
this analysis was repeated for unblinded cgm data on the per - protocol population ( 17 in each group ; figs .
reduction in time spent in both hyper- and hypoglycemic ranges was observed ( 23 and 12% for mdi and csii groups , respectively ) .
the average time spent in hypoglycemic ( < 3.9 mmol / l [ 70 mg / dl ] ) and hyperglycemic ( > 10.0 mmol / l [ 180 mg / dl ] ) ranges was further evaluated at each clinic visit ( 1 month ) .
the reductions of these glycemic excursions were apparent at 1 month after unblinded cgm use .
the reduction in hypoglycemia between mdi and csii therapy groups were similar for all study populations ( fig .
a greater reduction in time spent in hyperglycemic ranges was observed for subjects who used csii , particularly for the per - protocol population ( fig .
2b , p < 0.05 ) . from baseline measurements to the 6-month follow - up visit , the mean glucose concentration decreased in both therapy groups ( p < 0.001 ; table 2 ) .
mmol / l ( 176 mg / dl ) to 9.7 mmol / l ( 174 mg / dl ) for mdi and from 9.9 mmol / l ( 178 mg / dl ) to 9.2 mmol / l ( 166 mg / dl ) for csii ( p = 0.468 ) .
mmol / l ( 77 mg / dl ) to 3.8 mmol / l ( 67 mg / dl ) for mdi and from 4.1
mmol / l ( 75 mg / dl ) to 3.6 mmol / l ( 68 mg / dl ) for csii ( p = 0.364 ) .
similar trends were observed in the per - protocol population , where the reduction in glucose and glycemic variability was greater . in the mdi group ,
the mean cgm glucose changed from 9.8 mmol / l ( 177 mg / dl ) to 9.5 mmol / l ( 171 mg / dl ) and 9.5 mmol / l ( 171 mg / dl ) to 8.8 mmol / l ( 158 mg / dl ) from baseline to the 6-month follow - up ( table 2 ) .
the csii group showed greater reduction in cgm glucose and glucose variation compared with the mdi group ( p = 0.03 and 0.04 , respectively ; table 2 ) .
similar numbers of sensors were provided to study subjects and similar numbers of cgm devices were used ( 29 and 28 for mdi and csii , respectively ) . in the noncompliant subjects ( as defined per - protocol ) , fewer sensors were used by subjects who used csii ( 24 devices ) than subjects who used mdi ( 28 devices ) . retrospectively , 93% of cgm data were available for the protocol - compliant population , whereas the availability of cgm data dropped to 68% for the noncompliance population .
independent of baseline a1c , the glycemic variability indexes including mean amplitude of glycemic excursions ( mage ) ( 12 ) and glycemic risk assessment diabetes equation score ( grade ) ( 13 ) were reduced in the 6-month unblinded period when compared with the blinded period . no statistical difference in these measures
the reductions of these indexes were more prominent in the csii group for the per - protocol population ( p = 0.02 ) . over the 6-month duration of this study
of these inspections , the incidence of adverse effects associated with sensor insertion sites were as follows : 37 ( 23% ) mild erythema , 5 ( 3% ) moderate erythema , 7 ( 4% ) mild edema , 2 ( 1% ) moderate edema , 10 ( 6% ) mild bruising , and 1 ( 0.6% ) severe bruising .
adverse effects associated with sensor adhesive included the following : 40 ( 25% ) mild erythema , 7 ( 4% ) moderate erythema , 2 ( 1% ) severe erythema , 2 ( 1.3% ) mild edema , 3 ( 1.9% ) moderate edema , 1 ( 0.6% ) severe edema , 5 ( 3% ) mild bruising , and 3 ( 1.9% ) moderate bruising .
all adverse events were resolved or stable upon completion of the study . no sensor insertion site infections or hypoglycemic events requiring assistance were reported .
over the 6-month study period , there was a tendency of similar a1c values between mdi and csii groups ( p = 0.584 ) .
significant changes in a1c during follow - up were observed ( p < 0.001 ) , with lowest a1c values of 7.4% for mdi and 7.3% for csii at week 12 .
the mean ( sd ) change in a1c within subjects from screening to 6 months was 0.16 0.84% for mdi and 0.02 0.59% for csii .
the 95% ci for difference in change of a1c between mdi and csii groups was 0.26% ( less than the 0.4% predetermined noninferiority margin ) .
the difference in a1c from screening to 6 months was not statistically significant in both mdi and csii therapy groups ( p = 0.3273 ) .
similar results were obtained for per - protocol population analysis ( table 1 ) . for the mdi group , a1c reduction from screening to 6 months among protocol - compliant subjects was 0.16 0.59% ( mean sd ) compared with an increasing a1c of 0.36 0.85% for noncompliant subjects . for the csii group ,
the protocol compliant subjects showed changes in a1c similar to noncompliant subjects ( 0.02 vs. 0.07% , respectively ) .
at the 6-month follow - up visit , the overall study population s ( itt ) time spent wtr ( 3.910.0 mmol / l [ 70180 mg / dl ] ) increased by an average of 0.7 h / day for the csii group and 1.4 h / day for the mdi group when compared with the cgm - blinded baseline period ( table 2 , p = 0.009 ) .
mmol / l [ 70 mg / dl ] ) was reduced by 21% in the csii group and 30% in the mdi group ( table 2 , p > 0.05 ) . glucose control and variability indexes in the two groups * itt analysis showed no difference in mean glucose value or glucose variability indexes in the two groups .
there was a significant reduction in mean glucose , mage , grade , and time spent in hyperglycemia in the csii group when compared with mdi group .
however , there were similar but significant reductions in all parameters in the unblinded phase .
for both therapy groups , the number of glycemic excursions ( hyper- and hypoglycemic ) were decreased ( p < 0.001 ; figs . 1 and 2 ) similarly .
when compared with the cgm - blinded phase , subjects spent less time in hypo- and hyperglycemia during the unblinded cgm phase .
changes in hypoglycemic excursions during the study period were similar in itt ( n = 60 ) ( a ) and per - protocol analysis ( n = 34 ) ( b ) .
changes in hyperglycemic excursions during the study period were also similar in the itt analysis ( n = 60 ) ( a ) . however , hyperglycemic excursions were significantly lower in the csii group in the subgroup analysis ( per - protocol analysis , n = 34 , b ) .
this analysis was repeated for unblinded cgm data on the per - protocol population ( 17 in each group ; figs .
reduction in time spent in both hyper- and hypoglycemic ranges was observed ( 23 and 12% for mdi and csii groups , respectively ) .
the average time spent in hypoglycemic ( < 3.9 mmol / l [ 70 mg / dl ] ) and hyperglycemic ( > 10.0 mmol / l [ 180 mg / dl ] ) ranges was further evaluated at each clinic visit ( 1 month ) .
the reductions of these glycemic excursions were apparent at 1 month after unblinded cgm use .
the reduction in hypoglycemia between mdi and csii therapy groups were similar for all study populations ( fig .
a greater reduction in time spent in hyperglycemic ranges was observed for subjects who used csii , particularly for the per - protocol population ( fig .
from baseline measurements to the 6-month follow - up visit , the mean glucose concentration decreased in both therapy groups ( p < 0.001 ; table 2 ) .
mmol / l ( 176 mg / dl ) to 9.7 mmol / l ( 174 mg / dl ) for mdi and from 9.9 mmol / l ( 178 mg / dl ) to 9.2 mmol / l ( 166 mg / dl ) for csii ( p = 0.468 ) .
the sd of glucose within subjects also reduced from 4.3 mmol / l ( 77 mg / dl ) to 3.8 mmol / l ( 67 mg / dl ) for mdi and from 4.1
mmol / l ( 75 mg / dl ) to 3.6 mmol / l ( 68 mg / dl ) for csii ( p = 0.364 ) .
similar trends were observed in the per - protocol population , where the reduction in glucose and glycemic variability was greater . in the mdi group ,
the mean cgm glucose changed from 9.8 mmol / l ( 177 mg / dl ) to 9.5 mmol / l ( 171 mg / dl ) and 9.5 mmol / l ( 171 mg / dl ) to 8.8 mmol / l ( 158 mg / dl ) from baseline to the 6-month follow - up ( table 2 ) .
the csii group showed greater reduction in cgm glucose and glucose variation compared with the mdi group ( p = 0.03 and 0.04 , respectively ; table 2 ) .
similar numbers of sensors were provided to study subjects and similar numbers of cgm devices were used ( 29 and 28 for mdi and csii , respectively ) . in the noncompliant subjects ( as defined per - protocol ) ,
fewer sensors were used by subjects who used csii ( 24 devices ) than subjects who used mdi ( 28 devices ) . retrospectively , 93% of cgm data were available for the protocol - compliant population , whereas the availability of cgm data dropped to 68% for the noncompliance population .
independent of baseline a1c , the glycemic variability indexes including mean amplitude of glycemic excursions ( mage ) ( 12 ) and glycemic risk assessment diabetes equation score ( grade ) ( 13 ) were reduced in the 6-month unblinded period when compared with the blinded period . no statistical difference in these measures
the reductions of these indexes were more prominent in the csii group for the per - protocol population ( p = 0.02 ) .
over the 6-month duration of this study , 158 insertion areas were inspected . of these inspections ,
the incidence of adverse effects associated with sensor insertion sites were as follows : 37 ( 23% ) mild erythema , 5 ( 3% ) moderate erythema , 7 ( 4% ) mild edema , 2 ( 1% ) moderate edema , 10 ( 6% ) mild bruising , and 1 ( 0.6% ) severe bruising .
adverse effects associated with sensor adhesive included the following : 40 ( 25% ) mild erythema , 7 ( 4% ) moderate erythema , 2 ( 1% ) severe erythema , 2 ( 1.3% ) mild edema , 3 ( 1.9% ) moderate edema , 1 ( 0.6% ) severe edema , 5 ( 3% ) mild bruising , and 3 ( 1.9% ) moderate bruising .
all adverse events were resolved or stable upon completion of the study . no sensor insertion site infections or hypoglycemic events requiring assistance were reported .
to the best of our knowledge , this is the first ( pilot ) prospective real - life study showing similar glycemic benefits of using cgm for iit patients on mdi or csii .
recent studies demonstrated that the use of real - time cgm systems with or without pump therapy resulted in reduction in a1c , improved glycemic excursions , and reduced incidences of hypoglycemia ( 6,7,18 ) .
the juvenile diabetes research foundation study , however , did not report the subgroup analyses comparing patients on mdi therapy to those on csii therapy .
the star3 study provided only comparison between integrated cgm with the pump system and injection therapy ( mdi ) where cgm was not used ( 18 ) .
thus , it is possible that star3 results may entirely be due to use of cgm in the integrated pump and cgm group .
although a statistically significant but similar decrease in a1c was observed at 3 months after the initial screening , the a1c measurements at 6 months were similar to the screening values in both mdi and csii groups ( both iit and protocol - compliant populations ) .
the study population was relatively well controlled with a mean baseline a1c of 7.6% in both groups .
all subjects who were included in this study did qualify based on the inclusion and exclusion criteria as described above . despite patients being informed of continuous use of the sensor throughout the study period , only 34 patients followed the protocol .
patients were initially educated on trends and pattern management while using the cgm . the protocol allowed for real - life use of cgm without specific instruction by a physician or diabetes educator for insulin adjustments during the duration of the protocol . as discussed above in the study procedures ,
all subjects were provided guidance for adjusting insulin dose and/or food intake based on glucose trends rate of change of glucose . no follow - up education on cgm use
continued diabetes education may be a key component of successful long - term cgm outcomes after 3 months . despite the insignificant a1c reduction at the conclusion of this study
, there was an improvement of glycemic variability ( mage , grade ) with real - time cgm use .
there was reduction in time spent in both hypoglycemic and hyperglycemic ranges and improvement in time wtr for both groups during the unblinded phase .
there was a greater reduction in time spent in hyperglycemia in subjects using csii , which is not surprising , since administrating correction boluses is easier with csii .
the difference in reduction of time spent in hypoglycemia between both therapy groups was not statistically significant .
different glucose variability indexes have also been previously shown to improve similarly with mdi and csii treatment groups in many retrospective analyses ( 17,1922 ) .
we conclude that 6-month use of real - time cgm showed similar benefits in usability , persistence , and glycemic control in csii- and mdi - treated adult patients with type 1 diabetes , especially when patients are unblinded . | pubmed |
the ultimate theory for gravity is an open question .
general relativity has been repeatedly tested in the weak gravitational field @xcite .
however , the properties of the strong gravitational field have not yet been fully verified . as for modifications in the strong gravitational field , the possibilities of various gravity theories still remain .
one of the most promising alternative gravity theories is dynamical chern - simons ( cs ) modified gravity ( see e.g. @xcite ) .
this theory can be derived both from an effective theory of superstring theory @xcite and from that of loop quantum gravity @xcite .
furthermore , the cs modified gravity is derived from an effective field theory for inflation @xcite .
such a theory contains corrections consisting of higher - order derivative terms . thus high curvature ,
namely , strong field regime such as the vicinity of a black hole is inevitably modified .
the cs modified gravity was originally formulated in a non - dynamical theory @xcite , in which a presumed , non - dynamical scalar field is coupled to the gravitational field .
however , the non - dynamical theory has several problems : ( i ) curvature singularities appear on the rotational axis for a rotating black hole @xcite ( see also @xcite for the comprehensive study of a rotating black hole ) , ( ii ) a wide class of black hole oscillation modes is suppressed @xcite , and ( iii ) ghost appears in general @xcite . hence many authors @xcite have come to discuss the dynamical cs modified gravity , in which the kinetic term for the scalar field is taken into account , to pursue self - consistency for the theory . in the dynamical theory , the first two problems mentioned above do not occur @xcite , and the last problem does not also appear at least in a certain situation @xcite . therefore , the dynamical cs modified gravity has attract much attention in recent years .
the most remarkable feature of the dynamical cs modified gravity is that the schwarzschild spacetime is the unique solution for a static and asymptotically flat black hole @xcite ( see also @xcite for the case of a charged black hole ) .
similarly , the spacetime outside a static and spherically symmetric star becomes the schwarzschild spacetime ( see e.g. @xcite ) when we assume asymptotically flat spacetime again , because cs corrections exactly vanishes in that case .
thus the dynamical cs modified gravity gives the same result as that in general relativity for the leading term at the post - newtonian order .
hence , this theory passes the classical tests for general relativity .
once the assumption of a static state is broken , spacetimes in the dynamical cs modified gravity could deviate from those in general relativity . as an example for such spacetimes , we can consider a stationary spacetime around a rotating black hole .
the deviation from general relativity becomes large when we approach strong field regime such as the vicinity of a rotating black hole .
in weak field regime , we could merely derive small deviation from general relativity .
in fact , the experimental results of gravity probe b and the lageos satellites around the earth give a rather weak constraint for a cs coupling constant @xmath0 such that @xmath1 $ ] @xcite ( see sec .
[ sec : csg ] for the definition of the coupling constant ) .
nevertheless , this is the most stringent constraint ever obtained .
therefore , we need to investigate the strong field regime without assuming a static state to test the validity of the dynamical cs modified gravity . in this paper , we consider a stationary spacetime around a rapidly rotating black hole . in the previous works @xcite , both slow rotation and weak cs coupling
are assumed for discussing rotating black holes . however , the former assumption is insufficient for extracting distinctive features of the dynamical cs modified gravity thoroughly
. thus we do not rely on the slow rotation approximation in the present work . as mentioned above
, we can regard the dynamical cs modified gravity as an effective theory of more fundamental theories .
thus , the assumption of weak cs coupling would still be valid , and we can treat cs corrections in the framework of the perturbation theory . to deal with a rapidly rotating black hole , we adopt the kerr spacetime as the background .
as explained below , the cs scalar field and the cs gravitational correction are determined alternately in a bootstrapping scheme .
therefore , we investigate the cs scalar field around a rapidly rotating black hole as the first step for the cs corrections to the stationary spacetime . this paper is organized as follows . in sec .
[ sec : csg ] , we briefly review the framework of the dynamical cs modified gravity . in sec .
[ sec : cs - c ] , we discuss cs corrections to a rapidly rotating black hole based on the perturbation theory . we obtain the formal solution for the cs scalar field around the black hole , assuming a stationary and axisymmetric configuration . in particular , we obtain the analytic solution for the leading term in the legendre expansion of the scalar field with respect to the polar angle . in sec .
[ sec : prop - sf ] , we discuss the properties of the scalar field solution that can be obtained by numerical integration . finally , we provide a conclusion in sec .
[ sec : concl ] .
we use the geometrical units in which @xmath2 throughout the paper and follow the conventions of @xcite .
the action of the dynamical cs modified gravity is provided by @xcite @xmath3 , \label{eq : action}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath4 is the determinant of the metric @xmath5 , @xmath6 is the ricci scalar defined with the ricci tensor @xmath7 , @xmath8 is the riemann tensor , and @xmath9 is the dual riemann tensor . here , @xmath10 stands for the christoffel symbols , and @xmath11 is the levi - civita tensor with the definition of @xmath12 . in the action , @xmath13 is a scalar field with the dimension of @xmath14 = l^{0}$ ] , @xmath15 is the potential for @xmath13 , and @xmath16 is the lagrangian for matter .
the coefficient @xmath17 has the dimension of @xmath18=l^{0}$ ] , while the coupling constant @xmath0 has the dimension of @xmath19 = l^{2}$ ] . the first term in eq .
( [ eq : action ] ) is the einstein - hilbert action .
the second term , which is called the chern - pontryagin ( cp ) term , can be converted to the cs term via partial integration as @xmath20 the third term in eq .
( [ eq : action ] ) is the kinematic term for @xmath13 . throughout the paper ,
we neglect the potential @xmath21 for simplicity ( see @xcite for justification in relation to the string theory ) . while the kinematic term for @xmath13 is neglected in the nondynamical theory @xcite , it is taken into account in the dynamical theory . from the variations with respect to the metric @xmath5 and the scalar field @xmath13
, we derive the field equations in the forms @xmath22 @xmath23 where @xmath24 is the einstein tensor , and @xmath25 is called @xmath26 tensor @xcite and defined as @xmath27 here , round brackets for indexes denote symmetrization such as @xmath28 . in the field equation ( [ eq : feq - g ] ) , @xmath29 is the stress - energy tensor for usual matter , and @xmath30 is that for the scalar field @xmath13 as @xmath31 in this paper , we consider vacuum for usual matter , i.e. , @xmath32 . thus eqs .
( [ eq : feq - g ] ) and ( [ eq : feq - s ] ) govern the dynamics of the gravitational field and the scalar field in the dynamical cs modified gravity .
the cs modified gravity is regarded as an effective theory obtained from more fundamental theories .
thus the cs corrections are considered to be small in comparison with the terms appearing in general relativity .
the cs corrections can be tuned with the coupling constant @xmath0 .
hence we can assume @xmath33 , where @xmath34 denotes a mass scale in question , in particular , it corresponds to a black hole mass in our problem . we can treat the cs corrections in the framework of the perturbation theory with the expansion parameter @xmath35 .
we assume that the background solution @xmath36 is a solution in general relativity and that the scalar field completely vanishes in the background , i.e. , @xmath37 , where @xmath38 and @xmath39 . to expand the metric and the scalar field into power series in @xmath40 ,
let us discuss the structure of the basic equations ( [ eq : feq - g ] ) and ( [ eq : feq - s ] ) . equation ( [ eq : feq - g ] ) is now written as @xmath41 equations ( [ eq : feq - s ] ) and ( [ eq : feq - g2 ] ) can be solved in a bootstrapping scheme . to understand the scheme
, it may be useful to recall that the curvature tensors are essentially composed of the second - order derivatives of the metric and that @xmath42 .
the bootstrapping scheme is as follows .
first , given a background solution @xmath43 , the righthand side of eq .
( [ eq : feq - s ] ) provides the first - order corrections in @xmath40 .
thus the solution for @xmath44 can be obtained from eq .
( [ eq : feq - s ] ) .
second , when we have @xmath43 and @xmath45 , the righthand side of eq .
( [ eq : feq - g2 ] ) provides the second - order corrections in @xmath40 .
the solution for @xmath46 can be obtained from eq .
( [ eq : feq - g2 ] ) .
next , given @xmath47 , the solution for @xmath48 can be obtained from the terms of order @xmath49 in eq .
( [ eq : feq - s ] ) . then , given @xmath47 and @xmath50 , the solution for @xmath51 can be obtained from the terms of order @xmath52 in eq .
( [ eq : feq - g2 ] ) .
the same procedure is repeated to produce the power series in @xmath40 , @xmath53 it should be noted that while @xmath13 is expanded by odd powers in @xmath40 , @xmath5 is expanded by even powers in @xmath40 .
thus , we need to solve the scalar field @xmath13 and the gravitational field @xmath5 alternately in the bootstrapping scheme . the series expansions in eqs .
( [ eq : expand - th ] ) and ( [ eq : expand - g ] ) is validated for the region in which @xmath0 is much smaller than the squared curvature radius .
thus these expansions would be valid except for the neighborhood of the curvature singularity . to discuss a rapidly rotating black hole in the dynamical cs modified gravity
, we adopt the kerr spacetime as the background .
we start from the metric in the boyer - lindquist coordinates . after the coordinate transformation of @xmath54 , where @xmath55 denotes the polar angle from the rotational axis
, we derive the metric @xmath56 where @xmath57 is the mass of the black hole , @xmath58 denotes the rotational parameter defined by the angular momentum @xmath59 of the black hole , and @xmath60 we assume @xmath61 to avoid naked singularity . from the metric @xmath62 , we have @xmath63 .
we can also calculate the cp term , which appears in the source term in eq .
( [ eq : feq - s ] ) , as @xmath64 thus the cp term becomes singular only at @xmath65 , i.e. , the curvature singularity of the kerr spacetime .
the field equation ( [ eq : feq - s ] ) for the scalar field @xmath44 can also be expressed as @xmath66 where @xmath13 depends on @xmath67 and @xmath68 due to the assumption of stationarity and axisymmetry . using eq .
( [ eq : cp ] ) , we derive @xmath69 + \frac{\partial}{\partial \mu } \left [ \left ( 1-\mu^2 \right ) \frac{\partial}{\partial \mu } \vartheta^{(1 ) } ( r,\mu ) \right ] \nonumber \\
= - \frac{3}{2\pi } \alpha m^2 \left ( \frac{3ar\mu}{\rho^6 } - \frac{16a^3 r^3 \mu^3}{\rho^{10}}\right ) .\end{aligned}\ ] ] when we introduce dimensionless variables @xmath70 the field equation ( [ eq : feq - s3 ] ) becomes the form @xmath71 + \frac{\partial}{\partial \mu } \left [ \left ( 1-\mu^2 \right ) \frac{\partial \vartheta^{(1)}}{\partial \mu } \right ] \nonumber \\
= \tilde{\alpha } s \left ( \tilde{r } , \mu \right ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath72 , and @xmath73 equation ( [ eq : scalar - main ] ) is the main equation for the scalar field @xmath44 of the first order in @xmath40 . to solve eq .
( [ eq : scalar - main ] ) , we may expand the scalar field @xmath13 by the legendre polynomials of the first kind @xmath74 , because the set of @xmath75 forms the system of orthogonal functions that are regular anywhere in the region of @xmath76 .
then we have @xmath77 where @xmath78 , and @xmath79 is a function of @xmath80 only .
we also expand the source term @xmath81 as @xmath82 here the legendre polynomials @xmath83 satisfies the differential equation @xmath84 + n(n+1 ) p_{n } ( -\mu ) = 0 .\ ] ] substituting eqs .
( [ eq : theta - expand ] ) and ( [ eq : s - expand ] ) into eq . ( [ eq : scalar - main ] ) and using eq .
( [ eq : legendre - diff - eq ] ) , we derive the equation for the radial part , @xmath85 -m(m+1 ) \theta_{m } = s_{m } , \ ] ] where @xmath86 , and we have used the formula @xmath87 from the functional form of eq .
( [ eq : source - term ] ) , we find @xmath88 for @xmath89 , eq .
( [ eq : diff - eq - th - r ] ) becomes @xmath90 = 0 , \ ] ] this equation admits the solution @xmath91 , which corresponds to a shift symmetry @xmath92 . for the remaining even part ( @xmath93 ) , the source term in eq .
( [ eq : diff - eq - th - r ] ) vanishes , and , therefore , we derive the trivial solution of @xmath94 .
thus , we focus on the odd part ( @xmath95 ) only , hereafter . by using the formula @xmath96 we can obtain the odd modes @xmath97 analytically as @xmath98 where @xmath99 is given by @xmath100 ! } { 2^{2n+2 } \pi\left ( n - m\right )
! \left ( n+m+1\right ) ! ( 2m+1 ) ! } , \nonumber \\ & & \end{aligned}\ ] ] and @xmath101 is defined as a. for @xmath102 , @xmath103 b. for @xmath104 , @xmath105 c. for @xmath106 , @xmath107 here @xmath108 , @xmath109 and @xmath110 are defined , respectively , as @xmath111 !
\left(|j|!\right)^2 } \frac{1}{\tilde{a}^{i+2 } } .\end{aligned}\ ] ] the explicit forms of @xmath97 for lower orders are given in appendix [ sec : s_forms ] .
thus the main equation ( [ eq : scalar - main ] ) is reduced to the odd part ( @xmath95 ) of the ordinary differential equation ( [ eq : diff - eq - th - r ] ) with the source term given by eq .
( [ eq : s - term ] ) . to solve eq .
( [ eq : diff - eq - th - r ] ) , let us introduce the variable transformation @xmath112 note that the domain of @xmath113 is mapped onto the domain of @xmath114 , where @xmath115 corresponds to the radius of the outer horizon of the kerr black hole .
the differential equation for @xmath116 is then expressed as @xmath117 + \frac{(2n+1)(2n+2)}{1-\tilde{\eta}^2 } \theta_{2n+1 } \nonumber \\
= - \frac{1}{1-\tilde{\eta}^2 } s_{2n+1 } \left ( \tilde{r } \left ( \tilde{\eta}\right)\right ) , \nonumber \\\end{aligned}\ ] ] the independent solutions for the homogeneous equation of eq .
( [ eq : th - diff - eq ] ) are given by @xmath118 and @xmath119 , where @xmath120 is the legendre polynomials of the second kind .
the wronskian @xmath121 is then given by @xmath122 therefore the general solution of eq .
( [ eq : th - diff - eq ] ) is given by @xcite @xmath123 where @xmath124 and @xmath125 are constants .
two extra constants of integration arise from the two integrals in eq .
( [ eq : g - s1 ] ) .
however these constants can be absorbed into @xmath124 and @xmath125 .
thus we can neglect the constants of integration from the integrals in eq .
( [ eq : g - s1 ] ) . for given @xmath126 , two constants @xmath124 and @xmath125
should be determined with the two boundary conditions @xmath127 we discuss the behaviors of the righthand side in eq .
( [ eq : g - s1 ] ) as @xmath128 and @xmath129 .
@xmath130 diverges when @xmath129 , while @xmath131 diverges when @xmath132 . thus taking account of the boundary condition
, we derive @xmath133 therefore , we obtain the formal solution for the scalar field @xmath134 where the radial function @xmath116 is given by @xmath135 .\end{aligned}\ ] ] here we define @xmath136 hereafter , we neglect the constant term in eq .
( [ eq : theta1-exp ] ) .
explicit forms for the solution can be found by performing the integration in eq .
( [ eq : th - solution ] ) analytically or numerically .
in particular , we can find the analytic form for the leading - order solution @xmath137 as @xmath138 .\end{aligned}\ ] ] on the other hand , it seems difficult to find analytic forms for higher - order solution @xmath116 in terms of elementary functions .
however , we can obtain numerical solutions for @xmath139 , which are provided in the next section .
( a ) scalar function @xmath137 and ( b ) its derivative @xmath140 with respect to @xmath80 when @xmath141 .
the red curve shows our result , while the dashed blue curve shows the result from the slow rotation approximation ( sra ) .
the inner and outer horizons correspond to @xmath142 and @xmath143 , respectively.,title="fig : " ] + ( a ) scalar function @xmath137 and ( b ) its derivative @xmath140 with respect to @xmath80 when @xmath141 .
the red curve shows our result , while the dashed blue curve shows the result from the slow rotation approximation ( sra ) .
the inner and outer horizons correspond to @xmath142 and @xmath143 , respectively.,title="fig : " ] ( a ) scalar function @xmath137 and ( b ) its derivative @xmath140 with respect to @xmath80 when @xmath144 .
the red curve shows our result , while the dashed blue curve shows the result from the slow rotation approximation ( sra ) .
the inner and outer horizons correspond to @xmath145 and @xmath146 , respectively.,title="fig : " ] + ( a ) scalar function @xmath137 and ( b ) its derivative @xmath140 with respect to @xmath80 when @xmath144 .
the red curve shows our result , while the dashed blue curve shows the result from the slow rotation approximation ( sra ) .
the inner and outer horizons correspond to @xmath145 and @xmath146 , respectively.,title="fig : " ] ( a ) scalar function @xmath137 and ( b ) its derivative @xmath140 with respect to @xmath80 when @xmath147 .
the red curve shows our result , while the dashed blue curve shows the result from the slow rotation approximation ( sra ) .
the inner and outer horizons correspond to @xmath148 and @xmath149 , respectively.,title="fig : " ] + ( a ) scalar function @xmath137 and ( b ) its derivative @xmath140 with respect to @xmath80 when @xmath147 .
the red curve shows our result , while the dashed blue curve shows the result from the slow rotation approximation ( sra ) .
the inner and outer horizons correspond to @xmath148 and @xmath149 , respectively.,title="fig : " ]
first of all , we discuss the properties of the leading - order solution @xmath137 presented in the last section . since the rotational parameter @xmath150 satisfies @xmath151 , the power series expansion in @xmath150 is also valid for the scalar field solution .
as shown in appendix [ sec : s_forms ] , we roughly derive @xmath152 .
thus , from eq .
( [ eq : th - diff - eq ] ) , we conclude @xmath153 .
therefore , we recognize that the leading - order solution @xmath137 gives the most dominant component in the first - order scalar field solution @xmath44 , i.e. , @xmath154 . when we expand @xmath137 into the power series in @xmath150 , we derive @xmath155 hence , from the first term of the righthand side of eq .
( [ eq : th1-s - sr ] ) , we retrieve the result of the slow rotation approximation @xcite @xmath156 from eq .
( [ eq : th1-solution ] ) , we also derive the asymptotic form of @xmath137 for large @xmath67 , @xmath157 thus @xmath137 decays in proportional to @xmath158 at infinity . at the outer horizon @xmath159
, we derive @xmath160 .\end{aligned}\ ] ] thus @xmath137 is finite at the outer horizon .
however , it should be emphasized that @xmath137 diverges when @xmath80 approaches the inner horizon @xmath161 .
near the inner horizon , @xmath137 behaves as @xmath162 therefore , @xmath137 that satisfies the boundary conditions ( [ eq : bcd1 ] ) and ( [ eq : bcd2 ] ) becomes problematic near the inner horizon , rather than the curvature singularity .
figures [ fig : th1_a01 ] , [ fig : th1_a05 ] and [ fig : th1_a08 ] show the function @xmath137 and its derivative @xmath163 for @xmath141 , @xmath144 and @xmath147 .
we confirm that both @xmath137 and @xmath163 decay when @xmath80 increases and are regular at the outer horizon @xmath164 , and that both diverge when @xmath80 approaches the inner horizon @xmath165 .
@xmath166 @xmath167 obtained by numerical integration when @xmath147 .
the result of @xmath137 ( solid curve ) coincides with the analytic result ( cross ) .
the inner and outer horizons correspond to @xmath148 and @xmath149 , respectively . ]
next , we discuss the properties of the higher - order functions @xmath168 . for this purpose ,
we numerically calculate @xmath169 based on the first line of eq .
( [ eq : th - solution ] ) , in which @xmath116 is expressed by the integrals containing @xmath97 , @xmath170 and @xmath120 . here
, @xmath97 is given by eq .
( [ eq : smr ] ) with the source term @xmath171 in eq .
( [ eq : source - term ] ) .
the integrals are numerically calculated with the romberg integration scheme in which richardson extrapolations are applied repeatedly until desired numerical accuracy is achieved .
the numerical code is made up based on the routine qromb in @xcite with double precision .
first , we numerically calculate @xmath97 .
then , we numerically calculate the integrals in the first line of of eq .
( [ eq : th - solution ] ) using the above method .
the higher - order terms of the legendre polynomials of the first kind are calculated by using the recurrence relations between @xmath172 , @xmath173 and @xmath174 .
the higher - order terms of the legendre polynomials of the second kind are calculated from the definition by the hypergeometric functions and that by the relations between @xmath172 and @xmath175 @xcite .
figure [ fig : thm_a08 ] shows the numerical results of @xmath169 for @xmath147 and @xmath176 .
the numerical result of @xmath177 coincides with the analytic result .
the lower - order functions @xmath178 are basically larger than higher- order functions @xmath179 for the region of @xmath180 .
each function is regular at the outer horizon .
however , every functions @xmath181 diverge when @xmath80 approaches @xmath182 , i.e. , the inner horizon . as in eq .
( [ eq : blowup_r- ] ) , the features of the divergence are different from those of power functions , but it is difficult to determine the functional forms from our numerical results at present .
( a ) color map of @xmath44 for @xmath147 .
the vertical axis denotes @xmath183 , and the horizontal axis denotes @xmath184 .
( b ) 3-dimensional plot of @xmath185 for @xmath147 .
the inner horizon corresponds to @xmath148.,title="fig : " ] ( a ) color map of @xmath44 for @xmath147 .
the vertical axis denotes @xmath183 , and the horizontal axis denotes @xmath184 .
( b ) 3-dimensional plot of @xmath185 for @xmath147 .
the inner horizon corresponds to @xmath148.,title="fig : " ] next , we evaluate @xmath44 in eq .
( [ eq : theta1-exp ] ) using the numerical results of @xmath169 .
it should be noted that the series tends to converge when we raise the order to which we sum the series .
here , we define @xmath186 as the series summed up to the order @xmath187 , i.e. @xmath188 . a relative error is defined as @xmath189 .
we confirm that when the series is truncated at @xmath190 , the values of @xmath44 numerically converges within the relative error @xmath1911% , except the divergent region on the inner horizon .
figure [ fig : theta_a08 ] shows ( a ) a color map of @xmath44 and ( b ) 3-dimensional plot of @xmath192 for @xmath147 .
the values of @xmath44 are normalized by the coupling constant @xmath40 .
we also confirm the signature that the scalar field solution @xmath44 diverges when @xmath80 approaches the inner horizon @xmath193 .
finally we discuss the divergence of the scalar field on the inner horizon again .
when we take the slow rotation limit @xmath194 , @xmath182 reduces to zero .
thus the location of the inner horizon coincides with the point of the curvature singularity in the slow rotation limit .
therefore the problem about the divergence of the scalar field has been hidden under the curvature singularity in the framework of the slow rotation approximation . without the slow rotation approximation ,
the scalar field becomes problematic at spacetime points other than the curvature singularity .
the divergence of @xmath44 originates from that of @xmath116 .
the radial function @xmath116 obeys eq .
( [ eq : th - diff - eq ] ) , and the solutions for the homogeneous equation are given by the legendre functions @xmath195 and @xmath196 .
the function @xmath196 diverges as @xmath197 , i.e. , @xmath198 .
recalling eq .
( [ eq : g - s2 ] ) , we understand that the divergence of @xmath116 at @xmath199 can completely be removed by adopting the appropriate domain of the integral .
however , the divergence of @xmath116 at @xmath200 remains .
if we impose the boundary condition that @xmath116 is regular at @xmath200 , then @xmath116 would diverge at @xmath201 .
therefore , the divergence of the scalar field would inevitably occur on the inner horizon when we impose its regularity on the outer horizon .
we have investigated the cs scalar field induced by a rapidly rotating black hole in the dynamical cs modified gravity . to discuss cs corrections
, we adopted the perturbative approach assuming cs coupling to be weak .
furthermore , we took the kerr spacetime to be the background to deal with rapid rotation of a black hole . in this approach , the cs scalar field and the cs gravitational correction
are determined alternately in the bootstrapping scheme based on the perturbation theory .
as the first step to the cs corrections , we obtained the solution for the scalar field analytically and numerically . in the derivation , we assumed a stationary and axisymmetric configuration and adopted the boundary condition that the scalar field is regular on the outer horizon of the kerr black hole and vanishes at infinity .
in particular , we could find the analytic solution for the leading term in the legendre expansion of the scalar field with respect to the polar angle .
the scalar field is a well - behaved function outside the outer horizon .
however , the cs scalar field inevitably diverges on the inner horizon of the kerr spacetime .
thus the scalar field becomes problematic when we approach the inner horizon .
the readers might have a question : why should we care about the region inside the outer horizon ?
if the scalar field had no effects on the spacetime , the behavior of the scalar field inside the horizon can not be observed at all .
however , the scalar field , in fact , affects the structure of the spacetime via the stress - energy tensor .
note that the stress - energy tensor @xmath30 is composed of the scalar field and its derivative .
therefore , the stress - energy tensor for the scalar field also diverges on the inner horizon .
after all , ill - defined spacetime region increases in the dynamical cs modified gravity in comparison with general relativity .
the treatment for such a problematic region , which might require quantum treatments , would be awaited in future works .
we are grateful to dr .
leo c. stein for useful comments .
_ note added in revision_.after this paper was submitted , related works @xcite appear on the arxiv .
we present the explicit forms of @xmath97 derived from eq .
( [ eq : s - term ] ) for lower orders .
a. for @xmath202 , we derive @xmath203 the taylor expansion of @xmath204 about @xmath205 gives @xmath206 .\ ] ] b. for @xmath207 , we derive @xmath208 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] the taylor expansion of @xmath209 about @xmath205 gives @xmath210 .\ ] ] c. for @xmath211 , we derive @xmath212 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] the taylor expansion of @xmath213 about @xmath205 gives @xmath214 .\ ] ] d. for @xmath215 , we derive @xmath216 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] the taylor expansion of @xmath217 about @xmath205 gives @xmath218 .\ ] ] e. for @xmath219 , we derive @xmath220 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] the taylor expansion of @xmath221 about @xmath205 gives @xmath222 .\ ] ] f. for @xmath223 , we derive @xmath224 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] the taylor expansion of @xmath225 about @xmath205 gives @xmath226 .\ ] ] | arxiv |
the growing awareness of transfusion - associated morbidity and mortality has initiated a surge of investigations into the underlying mechanisms , which may be related to storage .
storage lesion of red blood cells ( rbcs ) includes alteration of the plasma composition , together with changes in morphology of rbcs resulting in reduced deformability , which together may reduce tissue oxygen availability and have pro - inflammatory and immunomodulatory effects .
these changes may all reduce posttransfusion viability of red blood cells . for decades , one of the standards of blood conservation as set by
the fda is more than 75 % recovery measured at 24 h posttransfusion .
optimizing storage conditions may negate some of the changes occurring during storage of rbcs . to test hypotheses of storage lesion as well as interventions aimed at improving storage conditions ,
however , the biology of stored murine rbcs may not accurately reflect that of human rbcs . indeed , rbc storage lesion of rodents appears to occur much faster than that of human rbcs .
rodent rbcs stored for 15 days in a commonly used storage solution were reported to rapidly deteriorate , with only 26 % recovery at 24 h following transfusion .
however , not all reports using rodent rbcs are consistent , with also reports of normal 24-h posttransfusion survival of stored rodent rbcs . a model in which functional effects of storage can be studied using human rbcs would overcome these problems with translation to the human condition . to that end , cross species models with transfusion of human rbcs into rodents have been used to study the role of rbc storage in transfusion - related acute lung injury , in recruitment of the microcirculation , in mechanisms of storage lesion , and in rejuvenation of storage solutions [ 57 ] . however , given the differences in size of the rbcs as well as the capillaries , it is conceivable that the use of cross species may lead to enhanced clearance of human donor rbcs from the rodent circulation . in this study , we investigated the role of storage on routing of human rbcs following transfusion into rodents .
the institutional animal care and use committee of the academic medical center and the medical ethical committee of sanquin blood bank foundation approved all experiments .
all animals were handled in accordance with the guidelines prescribed by the dutch legislation and the international guidelines on protection , care , and handling of laboratory animals .
blood of healthy volunteers was collected using a needle connected to a syringe containing 1.25 ml citrate - phosphate - dextrose .
blood was handled and stored according to national standards for human blood ( sanquin blood supply foundation ) , by overnight storage at room temperature , followed by centrifugation for 10 min at 1892g and 20 c .
plasma was removed , and the buffy coat was separated from the packed red blood cells .
saline - adenine - glucose - mannitol was added to the red blood cells up to a hematocrit of 5560 % .
samples of the rbc products were analyzed for ph , potassium , sodium , glucose , and lactate with a rapidlab 865 blood gas analyzer ( siemens medical solutions diagnostics ; breda , the netherlands ) .
male sprague - dawley rats ( 275 g ) raised on a regular diet were weighed and anesthetized with isoflurane 2 % .
animals were randomized to receive fresh ( 1 day storage ) or stored rbcs ( 35 days storage , n = 6 per group ) .
the tail vein was cannulated with a 24 gauge venflon ( vasofix certo ; b.braun , meisungen , germany ) , and blood was aspirated to verify intravascular placement .
twenty - four hours after transfusion , rats were sedated with ketamin and medetomidin as described and bled via the inferior caval vein in citrated ( 0.109 m ) vacutainer tubes for analysis and blood culture .
blood taken 1 and 24 h after transfusion were used for cell counts on the advia 2120 hematology system .
analysis of the human rbc from the circulation was done by spinning down 1 10 rbcs for 15 min at 1500 rpm and subsequently removing the top layer containing the white blood cells .
rbcs ( 5 10 ) were washed twice in hepes and stained with anti - human cd235a - pe ( sanquin pelicluster ref m1732 ) or control antibody ( control igg1pe ref m1628 ) and analyzed by flow cytometry ( becton dickinson lsrii ) .
we were not able to collect organs and analyze them from all animals , because time on flow cytometry and personnel were limited .
the organs were cut into 15 mm cubes , resuspended in hepes buffer ( 132 mm nacl , 20 mm hepes , 6 mm kcl , 1 mm mgso4 , 1.2 mm k2hpo4 ) supplemented with 2 mm cacl2 and 10 mm glucose . and homogenized using gentlemacs c - tubes ( miltenyi biotec ) and the gentlemacs dissociator ( miltenyi biotec ) .
afterwards , 5 10 cells were stained with anti - cd235a or control antibody as above .
results are expressed as mean sd . results of donor rbcs are expressed as percentage human rbcs of the total amount of stained rbcs .
comparison between groups at the same time period or in the same organ was done using student s t test
blood of healthy volunteers was collected using a needle connected to a syringe containing 1.25 ml citrate - phosphate - dextrose .
blood was handled and stored according to national standards for human blood ( sanquin blood supply foundation ) , by overnight storage at room temperature , followed by centrifugation for 10 min at 1892g and 20 c .
plasma was removed , and the buffy coat was separated from the packed red blood cells .
saline - adenine - glucose - mannitol was added to the red blood cells up to a hematocrit of 5560 % .
samples of the rbc products were analyzed for ph , potassium , sodium , glucose , and lactate with a rapidlab 865 blood gas analyzer ( siemens medical solutions diagnostics ; breda , the netherlands ) .
male sprague - dawley rats ( 275 g ) raised on a regular diet were weighed and anesthetized with isoflurane 2 % .
animals were randomized to receive fresh ( 1 day storage ) or stored rbcs ( 35 days storage , n = 6 per group ) .
the tail vein was cannulated with a 24 gauge venflon ( vasofix certo ; b.braun , meisungen , germany ) , and blood was aspirated to verify intravascular placement .
twenty - four hours after transfusion , rats were sedated with ketamin and medetomidin as described and bled via the inferior caval vein in citrated ( 0.109 m ) vacutainer tubes for analysis and blood culture .
blood taken 1 and 24 h after transfusion were used for cell counts on the advia 2120 hematology system .
analysis of the human rbc from the circulation was done by spinning down 1 10 rbcs for 15 min at 1500 rpm and subsequently removing the top layer containing the white blood cells .
rbcs ( 5 10 ) were washed twice in hepes and stained with anti - human cd235a - pe ( sanquin pelicluster ref m1732 ) or control antibody ( control igg1pe ref m1628 ) and analyzed by flow cytometry ( becton dickinson lsrii ) .
we were not able to collect organs and analyze them from all animals , because time on flow cytometry and personnel were limited .
the organs were cut into 15 mm cubes , resuspended in hepes buffer ( 132 mm nacl , 20 mm hepes , 6 mm kcl , 1 mm mgso4 , 1.2 mm k2hpo4 ) supplemented with 2 mm cacl2 and 10 mm glucose . and
homogenized using gentlemacs c - tubes ( miltenyi biotec ) and the gentlemacs dissociator ( miltenyi biotec ) .
afterwards , 5 10 cells were stained with anti - cd235a or control antibody as above .
results of donor rbcs are expressed as percentage human rbcs of the total amount of stained rbcs .
comparison between groups at the same time period or in the same organ was done using student s t test
parameters of storage lesion of the human rbc products are shown in the table 1.table 1parameters of storage conditions of human rbcsrbcs stored 1 dayrbcs stored 35 daysph6.966.36lactate ( mmol / l)525potassium ( mmol / l)422glucose ( mmol / l)2413atp ( mol / g hb)432,3dpg ( mol / g hb)14.90hemolysis ( % ) 0.10.124 parameters of storage conditions of human rbcs directly following transfusion , human rbcs could be detected in the circulation of all recipients ( fig . 1 ) .
of note , the percentage of human rbcs per circulating rat rbcs was higher for stored rbcs than for fresh rbcs.fig .
1percentage of human donor rbcs detected in the circulation and in organs of rat recipients , after storage for 1 day ( fresh ) or 35 days ( stored ) .
f fresh , s stored percentage of human donor rbcs detected in the circulation and in organs of rat recipients , after storage for 1 day ( fresh ) or 35 days ( stored ) .
f fresh , s stored in contrast , 24 h following transfusion , no donor rbcs could be detected in the circulation , regardless of storage time .
donor rbcs were detected in different organs of all recipients ( fig . 1 ) .
the presence of fresh donor rbcs in the liver appeared to be higher compared to stored donor rbcs .
the use of human donor rbcs in a rat transfusion model resulted in clearance from cells from the circulation , associated with the presence of donor cells in all organs .
a possible explanation may be the size of human rbcs , which are somewhat larger than rat rbcs ( 78 versus 6 m ) and may get stuck in the capillaries of organs . of note ,
1 h following transfusion , we found that the percentage of fresh donor rbcs in the circulation was lower compared to the percentage of stored rbcs , suggesting that fresh rbcs are cleared more rapidly than stored human rbcs . in line with this ,
the percentage of fresh rbcs stuck in the liver following transfusion was higher compared to stored rbcs .
however , this did not hold true for all organs , also not for the lungs , in which the capillaries have the smallest diameter . besides size , there may be an immunologic mechanism of clearance of human rbcs from the rat circulation .
we were unable to define a precise mechanism . whether fresh rbcs may elicit a stronger immune response than stored rbcs is not known
although we did not measure markers of hemolysis , visual inspection of the samples did not suggest hemolysis .
this study is limited by a small sample size , in particular of the organ measurements , because we were not able to analyze organs from all recipients due to logistic reasons .
although the mechanism is undefined , this study clearly shows that human rbcs get stuck in organs in a rat transfusion model .
given that the standard of appropriate transfusion requires more than 75 % posttransfusion survival , the use of human rbcs in rodent recipients are not appropriate to study the efficacy of rbc transfusion .
the use of human donor rbcs in a rat transfusion model is not appropriate to study the efficacy of rbc transfusion . | pubmed |
Cayratia acris is a species of plant native to Australia and Papua New Guinea.
References
acris
Category:Flora of Queensland
Category:Bushfood | wikipedia |
the study of nonclassical ( quantum ) correlation can be traced back to the 1930s , when schrdinger @xcite invented the word _
entanglement _ to describe the inseparability of our knowledge of a composite system , and einstein @xcite used this peculiar correlation to argue that quantum mechanics is not complete .
a formal mathematical definition of entanglement arises from the point of view that entanglement can not be created locally even with classical communication , therefore entangled states are those that can not be written as a convex sum of product states .
this essentially motivated the definition of entanglement of formation @xmath0 and entanglement cost @xmath1 , the latter as the asymptotic version of the former .
various other measures , such as entanglement of distillation @xmath2 @xcite , relative entropy of entanglement @xcite , squashed entanglement @xcite , arise to describe different properties of entangled states . however ,
entanglement ( in the strict sense , nonzero entanglement of formation ) is not the only aspect of quantum ( nonclassical ) correlation .
quantum discord @xmath3 , formulated by ollivier and zurek @xcite , describes a different aspect of nonclassical correlation .
other measures of nonclassical correlation beyond entanglement include the quantum deficit @xcite , measurement - induced disturbance @xcite , symmetric discord @xcite , relative entropy of discord and dissonance @xcite , geometric discord @xcite , and continuous - variable discord @xcite .
for a nice review of the different measures of quantum correlation beyond entanglement , see @xcite .
separable states could in general , have nonzero quantum correlation ; and the only states that have zero quantum discord are those classical - quantum ( cq ) states and the only states that have zero symmetric discord are those classical - classical ( cc ) states . both quantum discord and symmetric discord have been studied in dqc1 model of quantum computation @xcite , and it is widely believed that the speedup in quantum computation could be attributed to the existence of nonclassical correlation beyond entanglement @xcite . despite the enormous works on quantifying classical and quantum correlations , there are many essential issues that need to be solved or understood , such as the differences in various measures of classical and quantum correlations , the irreversibility in entanglement manipulation , and the additivity problem of entanglement of formation .
the purpose of this article is to establish quantitative relations among several entropic measures of classical and nonclassical correlations , especially those related to quantum discord and the symmetric discord , and provide insights into the irreversibility of entanglement manipulation and additivity of various measures . in this article ,
the measures of classical and nonclassical correlations are defined according to optimizations over positive - operator valued measure ( povm ) measurements , while most discussions in the literature are based on projective measurements .
the article is arranged as follows . in section
ii , we start with an introduction to several naturally defined measures of classical and nonclassical correlations . in section iii , we establish inequality relations for several different measures of classical and nonclassical correlations .
we use these relations to investigate some open questions in the following two sections . in section iv
, we obtain an upper bound of entanglement irreversibility and a sufficient condition for reversible entanglement . in section
v , we address the additivity problem and connect additivity of entanglement of formation to that of quantum discord as well as a certain measure of classical correlation .
for a bipartite quantum state @xmath4 , quantum discord @xmath5 is defined as @xcite @xmath6 here @xmath7 is the quantum mutual information with @xmath8 denoting the von neumann entropy .
@xmath9 is a measure of classical correlation defined as @xcite @xmath10\ ] ] where @xmath11 denotes the probability of obtaining the @xmath12-th result for a povm measurement @xmath13 on system a , and @xmath14 denotes the state of system b conditional on alice s @xmath12-th measurement result .
@xmath9 can be viewed as the holevo bound of the ensemble @xmath15 that is prepared for bob by alice via her local measurement , hence the superscript @xmath16 is adopted .
the bar on @xmath17 in both @xmath5 and @xmath18 reminds us that the measurement is performed on system a , as they are asymmetrical in general .
there are alternative measures of classical correlation in a bipartite state @xmath4 .
suppose alice and bob can perform any local povm measurements @xmath19 ( with @xmath20 , @xmath21 , @xmath22 and @xmath23 ) , from the joint probability distribution @xmath24 one can define a classical mutual information @xmath25 where @xmath26 denotes the shannon entropy of the corresponding probability distribution , @xmath27 and @xmath28 are marginal probability distributions of @xmath29 .
let @xmath30 denote the maximum classical correlation that can be extracted by local measurements , i.e. , @xmath31 @xmath30 is a natural measure of the maximum amount of classical correlation accessible by means of local measurements , and it is symmetrical with respect to both systems . a symmetric measure of nonclassical correlation was proposed and discussed in detail by wu , poulsen , and mlmer in @xcite , and it is referred to as the wpm measure or the symmetric discord in the literature @xcite .
the symmetric discord is given by the difference of quantum mutual information and @xmath30 : @xmath32 since @xmath9 can be viewed as the holevo bound of ensemble @xmath15 prepared for bob by alice s measurement on her system a , it is an upper bound of the accessible information @xmath30 via a subsequent measurement by bob on his system b @xcite , i.e. , @xmath33 similarly , @xmath34 therefore , we have @xmath35 for a review of entropic measures of nonclassical correlation , see @xcite . if classical communication is also allowed in addition to the local measurements , other alternative measures of classical correlation are possible .
suppose alice and bob can perform any local operations and one - way classical communication ( locc ) , then an alternative measure @xmath36 of classical correlation in @xmath4 is defined as the maximum classical correlation gain @xmath37\ ] ] where @xmath38 denotes the maximum classical mutual information that could be established via the locc protocol @xmath39 , and @xmath40 denotes the amount of classical communication cost , the arrow in @xmath41 reminds us that only one - way classical communication from alice to bob is allowed in the locc protocol @xmath39 .
similar quantities can be defined if other protocols such as two - way communication are allowed .
since @xmath30 can be viewed as @xmath36 with zero communication , we have @xmath42 the difference @xmath43 is the amount of classical correlation locked in the state @xmath4 , and it can be unlocked only by a certain amount of classical communication @xcite . in this article , we are mainly interested in the correlation measures based on optimizations over the most general strategies with povm measurements .
the optimum values may not be achieved by projective measurements ; this is illustrated by an example at the end of section iii .
in this section , we shall establish relations for different measures of correlations introduced in the previous section . for convenience ,
we define a quantity @xmath44 of a bipartite state @xmath4 as @xmath45 we shall show that this minimum is actually an upper bound for various measures of classical correlation in this section . for two special cases , @xmath44 can be simplified . if @xmath4 is separable , one has @xmath46 and @xmath47 @xcite , therefore @xmath48 for any separable state .
if @xmath4 is a pure state , one easily has @xmath49 . in this article
, a quantity with an overline denotes the regularized version of the quantity , for example , @xmath50 and similarly for other quantities .
the regularized quantity is defined via local collective measurements , for example , @xmath51 is obtained by maximization over all local collective measurements , i.e. , alice s measurement could be performed on her @xmath52 copies of systems together , and bob s measurement could be performed on his @xmath52 copies of systems together .
the set of local measurements on individual copies is a subsect of the set of local collective measurements , hence , @xmath53 .
similar relations hold for other measures of classical correlation introduced in section ii . therefore , for the measures of classical correlation
, we have @xmath54 as either measure of nonclassical correlation , @xmath55 or @xmath5 , is defined as the difference between the quantum mutual information @xmath56 and the corresponding measure of classical correlation @xmath30 or @xmath9 , we have @xmath57 since the von neumann entropy is additive , @xmath44 is also additive , @xmath58 for any bipartite state @xmath4 .
now we give the following relations for the measures of classical correlation .
_ proposition 1 .
_ for an arbitrary bipartite state @xmath4 , we have @xmath59 the above relations are still correct if indices @xmath17 and @xmath60 are exchanged .
the proof is left to the appendix . for the simplest case when @xmath4 is a pure state ,
all the inequalities in proposition 1 become equalities , and all the quantities in ( [ th1 - 1 ] ) and ( [ th1 - 2 ] ) are equal to the von neumann entropy of the marginal density matrix on either side . for general cases , the inequalities in ( [ th1 - 1 ] )
establish the order of several measures of classical correlation in a bipartite state @xmath4 .
the classical correlation @xmath30 accessible by local measurements on both a and b is upper bounded by the net gain @xmath36 of classical correlation if one - way communication of a classical message from alice to bob is allowed in addition to the local measurements .
this net gain @xmath36 is upper bounded again by the holevo bound @xmath9 of the ensemble prepared for bob by alice s local measurement , which is , in turn , upper bounded by its regularized version .
all the measures of classical correlation are upper bounded by @xmath44 , which is the minimum of the three quantities @xmath61 .
( [ th1 - 2 ] ) gives the order of the corresponding regularized measures .
the following lemma is very useful in the discussions later on .
_ lemma 2 .
_ suppose two bipartite states @xmath4 and @xmath62 are shared by alice and bob , and @xmath62 is separable , then @xmath63 and therefore @xmath64 for any separable state @xmath62 .
this lemma was originally proved in @xcite via inequalities of mutual information , an alternative proof is given in the appendix . in the rest of this section
, we shall study the relations of different measures for a special class of states .
the difference between the symmetric measure @xmath65 ( @xmath66 ) and the asymmetric measure @xmath67 ( @xmath3 ) is illustrated by the classical - quantum ( cq ) state @xmath68 where @xmath69 are basis states for system a and @xmath70 are arbitrary states of system b. for this cq state , one has @xmath71 , where @xmath72 . from lemma 2 , we know that both @xmath9 ( @xmath5 ) and @xmath73 ( @xmath74 ) are additive for any separable states , hence also for the cq states , i.e. , @xmath75 , @xmath76 , @xmath77 , @xmath78 .
the optimum povm in the definition of @xmath9 is the projective measurement onto @xmath79 , since one can easily show that @xmath9 achieves the upper bound @xmath44 via this projective measurement on a. therefore , for the cq state , @xmath80 where the inequalities become equalities when the supports of @xmath81 are orthogonal ( so @xmath82 becomes a cc state ) .
we also have the following proposition for cq states .
_ proposition 3 .
_ for the cq state in ( [ cqdefine ] ) , we have @xmath83 and the optimum povm measurement that achieves @xmath84 actually involves a local projective measurement ( by alice ) onto the basis states @xmath85 and a local povm measurement ( by bob ) which is the optimum povm measurement to achieve @xmath86 ; furthermore , @xmath30 and @xmath55 are also additive for the cq states , @xmath87 proof is left to the appendix . as a summary of the results for the cq state @xmath82 in ( [ cqdefine ] ) , we have @xmath88 and @xmath89 in general , the inequalities could be strict when some supports of @xmath81 in ( [ cqdefine ] ) are not orthogonal . before leaving this section
, we point out that strategies based on projective measurements may not be able to extract all the classical correlation in a state , general povm measurements may indeed have advantages . as an example , we consider a particular cq state @xmath90 where system a is a qutrit with the basis states @xmath91 and system b is a qubit with the pure states @xmath92 forming equal angles @xmath93 in the same plane according to a bloch sphere picture .
it is shown in @xcite that @xmath30 ( a different symbol @xmath94 is used in @xcite ) is strictly greater than the corresponding measure based on projective measurements only . from proposition 3 , we immediately know that @xmath73 can not be achieved by projective measurements on system b either . therefore , for the state in ( [ povmvspvm ] ) , strategies based on projective measurements are not enough to achieve @xmath30 , @xmath73 , @xmath55 , and @xmath95 , povm measurements are indeed necessary ! however , it is easy to see that each measure of classical ( quantum ) correlation based on projective measurements provides a lower ( upper ) bound of the corresponding measure based on general povm measurements .
in section iii , we have derived relations among different measures of classical correlation and nonclassical correlation beyond entanglement . in this section ,
we discuss a somehow different but related problem , i.e. , entanglement irreversibility , with the help of the relations we have derived . for a bipartite pure state @xmath96 , entanglement of formation @xmath0
is simply the von neumann entropy of the marginal density matrix on either side .
a general bipartite state @xmath4 can be decomposed into an ensemble of bipartite pure states @xmath97 , this decomposition is not unique in general ( except when @xmath4 itself is a pure state ) .
entanglement of formation @xmath98 is defined as the minimal average pure - state entanglement over all possible decompositions of @xmath4 .
entanglement cost @xmath99 denotes the number of singlets needed to generate @xmath4 per copy via locc in the process of entanglement dilution , it is equal to the regularized version of entanglement of formation @xcite , i.e. , @xmath100 .
entanglement of distillation @xmath101 denotes the number of singlets that can be generated asymptotically per copy of @xmath4 via locc .
entanglement dilution and entanglement distillation are generally irreversible , i.e. , @xmath102 with strict inequality for many cases . in the following , we shall discuss how entanglement irreversibility is related to the measures of classical and nonclassical correlations we have discussed in the previous sections . for any tripartite pure state @xmath103 ,
the entanglement of formation @xmath0 in @xmath4 and a measure of classical correlation @xmath104 in @xmath105 have the koashi - winter relation @xcite @xmath106 in order to get the regularized version of this equality , we consider @xmath52 copies of the state @xmath103 .
the total state is still a tripartite pure state , therefore , @xmath107 .
considering the equality @xmath108 in the limit @xmath109 , we immediately obtain the regularized version @xmath110 for convenience , the coherent information of @xmath4 is defined as @xmath111 the coherent information is a lower bound of entanglement of distillation @xmath101 @xcite , @xmath112 now we present the following proposition that gives an upper bound for entanglement irreversibility as well as a sufficient condition for reversible entanglement .
_ proposition 4 .
_ let @xmath4 , @xmath105 , and @xmath113 be the three reduced bipartite states of a tripartite pure state @xmath114 ; then + ( i ) entanglement cost satisfies the equality @xmath115 ( ii ) entanglement irreversibility has an upper bound @xmath116 + ( iii ) entanglement in @xmath4 is reversible , i.e. , @xmath117 , if the regularized measure of classical correlation @xmath118 in @xmath105 reaches its upper bound @xmath119 , i.e. , @xmath120 ; + ( iv ) the above three statements are still valid when each subscript @xmath121 is replaced with @xmath122 .
proof is left to the appendix .
has an upper bound @xmath123 , where @xmath105 is an arbitrary state that has the same purification @xmath114 as @xmath4.,width=302 ] eqs .
( [ ent1 ] ) and ( [ ent2 ] ) provide some insights into entanglement irreversibility ( see fig .
1 ) , the entanglement irreversibility of @xmath4 is bounded from above by the discrepancy between the regularized measure @xmath118 of classical correlation and its upper bound @xmath124 in @xmath105 , where @xmath105 is the reduced state that shares with @xmath4 the same tripartite purification @xmath114 .
although proposition 4 does not tell us how to discriminate all reversible entanglement from irreversible entanglement , it does provide a sufficient condition for reversible entanglement .
it is suggested in @xcite that entanglement irreversibility of @xmath4 is due to nonzero regularized quantum discord @xmath125 . from ( [ ent2 ] )
we have @xmath126 therefore , the regularized quantum discord @xmath127 is indeed an upper bound of @xmath128 .
however , we point out that it is only an upper bound by the following example .
we consider a tripartite pure state @xmath129 ( shared among alice , bob and camilla ) , which is constructed in the following way : alice , bob and camilla share a greenberger - horne - zeilinger ( ghz ) state together , in addition , alice and bob share an einstein - podolski - rosen ( epr ) state , while alice and camilla share another epr state , i.e. , @xmath130 here @xmath131 and @xmath132 .
it is straightforward to obtain @xmath133 .
one also has @xmath134 since @xmath135 can be reached by a particular choice of camilla s local measurement : projecting @xmath136 onto the schmidt basis of the ghz state , and @xmath137 onto an arbitrary basis . from proposition 1 we know that @xmath138 , together with @xmath134 and @xmath133 , we obtain @xmath139 .
therefore , entanglement in @xmath4 is reversible according to proposition 4 .
entanglement reversibility can also be directly verified @xmath140 as we can easily distillate one copy of epr from one copy of @xmath4 via locc , and create one copy of @xmath4 from one copy of epr via locc as well
. however , the regularized quantum discord @xmath141 does not vanish !
therefore , the regularized quantum discord @xmath142 is just an upper bound for entanglement irreversibility of @xmath4 .
one may further attempt to ask whether the difference @xmath143 characterizes entanglement irreversibility @xmath128 , instead of being just its upper bound .
we consider another example : suppose alice , bob and camilla share the same state as in the previous example , in addition , bob and camilla share another epr state as well , i.e. , the overall state is @xmath144 we show that @xmath145 in the appendix .
in this case , one can easily have @xmath146 therefore , @xmath143 is just an upper bound of entanglement irreversibility of @xmath4 as well .
the quantity @xmath124 is additive but not fully additive , i.e , @xmath147 while @xmath148 . in fact , we have @xmath149 for arbitrary bipartite states @xmath4 and @xmath62 .
the inequality looks surprising since @xmath124 is the minimum of three quantities , each of which is fully additive as the von neumann entropy is fully additive .
however , it becomes obvious if one notices the following fact , @xmath150 since the minimum values may be reached at different places .
one has an example of strict inequality if one considers the marginal state of ( [ triplephi ] ) by tracing out c. in general , the measures for classical correlation ( @xmath65 , @xmath151 , @xmath67 ) , and the measures for nonclassical correlation ( @xmath66 , @xmath3 ) may not be additive .
their regularized versions are additive by definition , but there is no indication that the regularized versions are fully additive . , the additivity of entanglement of formation in @xmath152 is equivalent to the additivity of quantum discord in another bipartite state @xmath153 ( or @xmath154 ) when the measurement is performed on the third system @xmath155.,width=226 ] there is an equivalence for the additivity of the three quantities : entanglement of formation @xmath0 , the measure of classical correlation @xmath67 , and quantum discord @xmath3 . for any tripartite pure state @xmath103 , from ( [ efcrelationpure ] ) , ( [ efcrelationregularized ] ) and the definition of quantum discord , we have @xmath156 from these relations we know that the nonadditivity of entanglement of formation for a bipartite state @xmath4 is equivalent to the nonadditivity of quantum discord @xmath3 ( or the classical correlation @xmath67 ) in either @xmath105 or @xmath113 as long as they share the same purification @xmath103 and the measurement is performed on the third system c ( see fig .
2 ) . in this way , if one finds a bipartite state with @xmath157 ( or @xmath158 ) , he finds a corresponding bipartite state with nonadditive entanglement of formation , and vice versa . for the cq state in ( [ cqdefine ] ) , a purification of @xmath4 is @xmath159 , where both subsystems @xmath160 and @xmath161 are held by camilla , and each @xmath162 is a purification of the corresponding @xmath163 , i.e. , @xmath164 .
the other two reduced states are given by @xmath165 where @xmath113 is called a pseudopure state @xcite . from lemma 2 ,
one has @xmath166 and @xmath167 . therefore ,
entanglement of formation in both @xmath113 and @xmath105 are additive , i.e. , @xmath168 and @xmath169 . as another example , consider the separable state @xmath170 where @xmath171 and @xmath172 are normalized ( nonorthogonal in general ) states of a and c. according to lemma 2 , the measure of classical correlation @xmath9 ( @xmath73 ) and quantum discord @xmath5 ( @xmath74 ) are additive for @xmath4 . construct the purification @xmath173 , and we immediately know that the entanglement of formation is additive for @xmath105 , i.e. , @xmath174 with @xmath175 the state in ( [ owmcs ] ) is called the one - way maximally correlated state in @xcite .
in conclusion , we have studied the properties of several naturally defined measures of correlations and provided insights into some open questions .
we have obtained inequality relations among several different measures of classical and nonclassical correlations as well as equivalence relation of different measures for certain states .
we consider the measures that are defined according to optimizations over povm measurements , they are different from the corresponding measures based on projective measurements in general . we have derived a sufficient condition for reversible entanglement as well as an upper bound for entanglement irreversibility .
we have also discussed the additivity relations of entanglement of formation , quantum discord and a certain measure of classical correlation .
we hope that the results and discussions here could provide useful insights into the open problems in quantum information theory .
the author would like to thank b. sanders for his hospitality during the author s visit to iqis , m. c. de oliveira for drawing his attention to ref .
@xcite , r. b. griffiths , d. yang , l. yu , and p. j. coles for valuable discussions .
the author acknowledges support from a ustc visiting funding and aitf for a visiting professorship .
this research also receives partial support from nsfc ( grant no .
11075148 ) .
it is sufficient to show ( [ th1 - 1 ] ) , since the regularized version ( [ th1 - 2 ] ) follows directly from ( [ th1 - 1 ] ) , the additivity of @xmath124 and the definition of the regularized quantities .
let us consider the inequalities in ( [ th1 - 1 ] ) one by one .
the first inequality @xmath176 is shown in ( [ ccl ] ) as @xmath30 can be viewed as @xmath36 without communication .
the second inequality needs to be proved below .
the third inequality @xmath177 is shown in ( [ chchreg ] ) . since @xmath44 is additive
, the fourth inequality @xmath178 follows from @xmath179 ( that needs to be proved below ) via the regularization . in other words
, we only need to prove the following two relations : @xmath180 for a bipartite state @xmath4 , @xmath181 $ ] , and @xmath182 $ ] .
we first prove ( [ appa-1 ] ) . without loss of generality ,
suppose the optimum locc protocol @xmath183 that achieves the maximum in the definition of @xmath36 does the following .
first , alice performs a local povm measurement @xmath184 on system a. whenever alice gets the @xmath12-th outcome , which occurs with probability @xmath185 , system b is left in the state @xmath186 .
the one - way classical communication from alice to bob , which can always be carried out after alice s measurement , could depend on alice s measurement result @xmath12 .
a classical message of finite number of bits could be modeled as an integer function @xmath187 of alice s measurement result @xmath12 .
we construct the following tripartite state : @xmath188 therefore , for this optimal locc protocol @xmath183 , @xmath189 where the last equality is due to the fact @xmath190 .
as @xmath191 , we have @xmath192 here , @xmath193 , and @xmath194 .
@xmath195 denotes the number of classical bits that need to be sent from alice to bob in the asymptotic limit . for a single copy , @xmath196
, therefore , @xmath197 \nonumber \\ & = & \mathcal{c}^h_{\bar{a}b}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] this completes the proof of ( [ appa-1 ] ) .
next , we prove ( [ appa-2 ] ) , i.e. , @xmath198 .
one easily has @xmath199 from the definition of @xmath9 , and one has @xmath200 since quantum discord is non - negative @xcite .
it is not so straightforward to get @xmath201 .
however , the overall inequality ( [ appa-2 ] ) can also be proved as follows .
considering a purification of @xmath4 , from ( [ efcrelationpure ] ) one has @xmath202 the definition of the coherent information of @xmath113 is similar to ( [ cohinfdef ] ) : @xmath203 on the other hand , the inequality corresponding to ( [ edirelation ] ) reads as @xmath204 hence , @xmath205 from ( [ chsbef ] ) and ( [ efedicsb ] ) , one immediately gets ( [ appa-2 ] ) .
_ proposition 5 .
_ for an arbitrary ensemble of product states @xmath206 with the corresponding probability distribution @xmath207 , @xmath208 this inequality is a property of the von neumann entropy , it could actually serve as a separability criterion , which is interesting by itself .
the proof is straightforward .
one directly obtains ( [ lemma2eq ] ) from the strong subadditivity relation @xmath209 on the tripartite state @xmath210 .
next , we prove lemma 2 .
alice and bob share the state @xmath211 , and @xmath212 is separable and can always be written as @xmath213 .
suppose @xmath214 is the optimum povm measurement performed on @xmath215 in the definition of @xmath9 .
let @xmath216 , and @xmath217 . when alice obtains the @xmath12th result , which occurs with probability @xmath218 , the state of bob s combined system @xmath219 is left in the state @xmath220 where @xmath221 .
we have @xmath222 where the inequality is due to proposition 5 .
@xmath223 and @xmath224 can be viewed as the probability and resulting state of obtaining the @xmath12th result in a measurement on subsystem @xmath225 alone ( with subsystem @xmath226 prepared in the state @xmath227 as an ancilla ) , therefore , @xmath228 .
let @xmath229 , and one has @xmath230 with @xmath231 therefore , @xmath232 and @xmath233 could be viewed as the probability and resulting state of @xmath234 when the @xmath12th result is obtained in a measurement on subsystem @xmath226 alone with @xmath225 prepared in @xmath235 as an acilla .
we have @xmath236 . by combining the above results
, we have @xmath237 which together with the obvious relation @xmath238 implies that @xmath239 this is ( [ lemma2 - 11 ] ) .
similarly we obtain ( [ lemma2 - 22 ] ) .
the other equalities ( [ lemma2 - 33]-[lemma2 - 66 ] ) follow straightforwardly .
this completes the proof of lemma 2 .
for the cq states in ( [ cqdefine ] ) , the optimum povm on a in the definition of @xmath30 is actually the projection onto the basis states @xmath79 @xcite .
therefore , @xmath30 is the maximum value of mutual information for the joint probability distribution @xmath240 over all possible choices of local povm @xmath241 , @xmath242 with @xmath243 on the other hand , @xmath244 , where @xmath245 and @xmath246 with @xmath247 .
one easily has @xmath248 , and @xmath249 .
thus , @xmath250 therefore , for the cq states , @xmath251 , and @xmath252 . the optimum povm that achieves
@xmath30 actually involves a local projective measurement ( by alice ) onto the basis states @xmath85 and a povm ( by bob ) which is optimum to achieve @xmath73 . from lemma 2 , we know that @xmath73 and @xmath74 are additive for the cq states , therefore , @xmath30 and @xmath55 are also additive for the cq states .
hence , the last two equalities in proposition 3 is proved .
the proof of proposition 3 is completed .
the proof is straightforward .
statement ( i ) in proposition 4 follows from ( [ efcrelationregularized ] ) and the definition of the coherent information @xmath253 . statement ( ii ) follows from statement ( i ) and ( [ edirelation ] ) .
when the regularized measure of classical correlation @xmath118 reaches its upper bound @xmath119 , i.e. , @xmath120 , we have @xmath254 from ( [ ent2 ] ) .
since @xmath255 , we immediately have @xmath256 . therefore , statement ( iii ) is proved .
statement ( iv ) is obvious as all the arguments in this proof are still true when each subscript ac is replaced with bc .
from one copy of @xmath4 we can distillate one copy of epr state via locc , and we can create one copy of @xmath4 from one copy of epr state via locc as well , therefore , @xmath259 , @xmath260 .
as entanglement cost is no less than entanglement of distillation , we immediately have ( [ phieced ] ) . from the expression of @xmath105 , it is straightforward to get ( [ phism ] ) . in order to prove ( [ phichregac ] )
, we need to calculate @xmath118 .
we recall the definition @xmath261 since @xmath262 is a pure state , we have @xmath263 .
it is straightforward to get @xmath264 , this upper bound can be achieved by @xmath104 when camilla projects her systems @xmath265 onto the computational basis , therefore @xmath266 . since @xmath267 is a separable state , from lemma 2
, we have @xmath268 , and @xmath269 thus , ( [ phichregac ] ) directly follows from ( [ appe-11 ] ) and ( [ appe-22 ] ) .
this completes the proof of ( [ phieced ] ) , ( [ phism ] ) and ( [ phichregac ] ) . | arxiv |
the fetus enjoys special privileges that minimize the risk of being rejected by the maternal immune system during pregnancy .
the maternal immune system is alerted and responds actively to the fetal invasion , but the type of inflammation generated is not a milieu in which rejecting t cell responses are favored . at the fetal maternal interface
, the decidua serves as an immunologically privileged tissue playing essential functions in pregnancy maintenance . during the first trimester of pregnancy , the majority of leucocyte populations in the human decidua
is composed of 70% natural killer ( nk ) cells , and 1020% antigen presenting cells ( apcs ) , whereas t cells are sparse and b cells are virtually absent .
dendritic cells ( cd11cdcs ) are the key professional apcs representing 510% of all hematopoietic uterine cells .
dcs are not only essential for the induction of primary immune responses but also important for the establishment of immunological tolerance .
the local microenvironment influences the functions and differentiation of dcs with tolerogenic activities that play a prominent role in dictating the quantity and quality of immune responses .
two different myeloid dc subsets , bdca-1 and bdca-3 , were detected in normal human first trimester decidua .
bdca-1 decidual cells express hla - dr , cd80 and cd86 at low levels , consistent with the immature characteristics of myeloid dcs .
in addition , kammerer et al . have shown that early human pregnancy decidua harbors c - type lectin - expressing cells ( dc - sign ) that show functional features of immature dcs . during human pregnancy ,
non - classical hla class i hla - g proteins , specifically expressed in the trophoblasts , contribute to the establishment of immune tolerance .
seven different isoforms of hla - g exist , four of which are membrane - bound ( hla - g1 to -g4 ) and three are soluble forms ( hla - g5 to -g7 ) .
hla - g locus is low polymorphic in the coding region , but polymorphisms that can regulate its expression are present at both 5 up - stream regulatory region ( urr ) and 3 un - translated region ( utr ) non - coding regions .
the immune - regulatory properties of hla - g result from interactions with diverse inhibitory receptors : directly via ig - like transcript ( ilt)2 expressed on myeloid and lymphoid cells , ilt4 specifically expressed on apcs , including dcs , and kir2dl4 on nk cells and cytotoxic t lymphocytes ( ctl ) ; indirectly via cd94/nkg2a on nk cells .
myeloid apcs may express hla - g and its expression is greatly enhanced by interferon- , il-10 and maturation stimuli .
the expression of membrane - bound hla - g and the secretion of soluble hla - g by myeloid apcs contribute to the generation of a tolerogenic microenvironment that may alter the functions of hla - g - expressing myeloid apcs ( hla - g apcs ) themselves , in a feedback loop .
thus , myeloid hla - g apcs may be viewed as suppressor cells capable of inhibiting other effector cells and of generating regulatory cells , such as tolerogenic dcs and regulatory t cells ( tregs ) .
recently , a subset of il-10-producing human dc ( dc-10 ) has been characterized in the peripheral blood .
these cells secrete high levels of il-10 , express membrane - bound hla - g , ilt2 , ilt3 , ilt4 , and are potent inducers of adaptive il-10-producing type 1 tregs ( tr1 ) in vitro through the il-10-dependent ilt4/hla - g pathway .
cd4 t cells constitutively expressing hla - g have been shown to accumulate at sites of inflammation .
it has been demonstrated that cd4hla - g cells suppress t cell proliferation via a reversible non - contact il-10- and soluble hla - g5-dependent process that leads to regulation of tissue inflammation at the target organ . in the present study
we identify for the first time the presence of dc-10 and cd4hla - g t cells at the fetal maternal interface where they may contribute to the tolerance establishment and maintenance in the first trimester decidua .
first trimester decidua ( n = 10 ) at 612 weeks of gestational age were obtained from caucasian women with clinically normal pregnancies which were scheduled for elective abortion due to social or psychological reasons . peripheral blood was collected soon before the aspiration procedure .
decidual tissues were taken through the cervix during dilatation and aspiration according to formal clinical procedures .
informed consent was obtained from all subjects , and the investigation was approved by the ethical committee of fondazione irccs ca granda , milan , italy .
human peripheral blood was obtained from healthy donors upon informed consent in accordance with local ethical committee approval ( tiget periblood ) and with the helsinki declaration . peripheral blood mononuclear cells ( pbmc )
were isolated by centrifugation over lymphoprep ficoll gradients ( fresenius kabi norge as , halden , norway ) .
this study was approved and monitored by the internal ethical committee of the san raffaele scientific institute and the ethical committee of fondazione irccs ca granda , milan , italy .
decidual tissues were dissected into small pieces and enzymatically dissociated in rpmi 1640 medium containing collagenase type iv ( 1 mg / ml ; sigma aldrich , carlsbad , ca ) , and dnase i ( final 0.01% , invitrogen ) for 90 min at 37 c with gentle shaking .
the suspension was filtered through a 40-m nylon mesh ( cell strainer , bd biosciences , san jose , ca ) .
decidual mononuclear cells ( dmnc ) were separated by density gradient centrifugation over lymphoprep ficoll gradients ( fresenius kabi norge as , halden , norway ) .
dmnc and pbmc were initially incubated for 15 min at room temperature with fcr blocking reagent ( miltenyi biotech , germany ) and stained for additional 30 min at room temperature with the following human monoclonal antibodies ( mabs ) : cd1c ( bdca-1 ) and cd83 ( miltenyi biotech , germany ) , cd14 , cd16 , dc - sign , cd11c , cd4 , cd8 ( bd bioscience , ca ) , cd45 ( biolegend , usa ) , ilt4 and cd56 ( beckman coulter , france ) and hla - g ( mem - g9 , exbio , praha , czech republic ) .
samples were acquired using a facs canto ii flow cytometer ( becton dickinson , mountain view , ca ) , and data were analyzed with fcs express ( de novo software ) .
significance was defined as p 0.05 , p 0.005 , p 0.0005 , and p < 0.0001 .
first trimester decidua ( n = 10 ) at 612 weeks of gestational age were obtained from caucasian women with clinically normal pregnancies which were scheduled for elective abortion due to social or psychological reasons . peripheral blood was collected soon before the aspiration procedure .
decidual tissues were taken through the cervix during dilatation and aspiration according to formal clinical procedures .
informed consent was obtained from all subjects , and the investigation was approved by the ethical committee of fondazione irccs ca granda , milan , italy .
human peripheral blood was obtained from healthy donors upon informed consent in accordance with local ethical committee approval ( tiget periblood ) and with the helsinki declaration . peripheral blood mononuclear cells ( pbmc )
were isolated by centrifugation over lymphoprep ficoll gradients ( fresenius kabi norge as , halden , norway ) .
this study was approved and monitored by the internal ethical committee of the san raffaele scientific institute and the ethical committee of fondazione irccs ca granda , milan , italy .
decidual tissues were dissected into small pieces and enzymatically dissociated in rpmi 1640 medium containing collagenase type iv ( 1 mg / ml ; sigma aldrich , carlsbad , ca ) , and dnase i ( final 0.01% , invitrogen ) for 90 min at 37 c with gentle shaking .
the suspension was filtered through a 40-m nylon mesh ( cell strainer , bd biosciences , san jose , ca ) .
decidual mononuclear cells ( dmnc ) were separated by density gradient centrifugation over lymphoprep ficoll gradients ( fresenius kabi norge as , halden , norway ) .
dmnc and pbmc were initially incubated for 15 min at room temperature with fcr blocking reagent ( miltenyi biotech , germany ) and stained for additional 30 min at room temperature with the following human monoclonal antibodies ( mabs ) : cd1c ( bdca-1 ) and cd83 ( miltenyi biotech , germany ) , cd14 , cd16 , dc - sign , cd11c , cd4 , cd8 ( bd bioscience , ca ) , cd45 ( biolegend , usa ) , ilt4 and cd56 ( beckman coulter , france ) and hla - g ( mem - g9 , exbio , praha , czech republic ) .
samples were acquired using a facs canto ii flow cytometer ( becton dickinson , mountain view , ca ) , and data were analyzed with fcs express ( de novo software ) .
significance was defined as p 0.05 , p 0.005 , p 0.0005 , and p < 0.0001 .
during pregnancy , subpopulations of leukocytes present at the fetal - maternal interface change participating in a coordinated manner to orchestrate sequential , reproductive events that result in the maintenance of pregnancy . during the first trimester , nk cells represent the most abundant immune cells in the decidua .
these cells are cd56cd16 , are distinct from peripheral blood nk subsets , and are critical for the maintenance of pregnancy since their cytotoxicity is inhibited by the expression of hla - e and hla - g on trophoblasts .
as expected , 58.3 4.6% , ( mean sem , n = 10 ) of the human decidual mononuclear cells were cd56 nk cells , of which > 90% were cd16 ( fig .
the remainder decidual leukocyte population included t and b lymphocytes , cd14 monocytes , cd11b and cd11c myeloid cells . in comparison with peripheral blood lymphocytes ,
the proportion of cd4 t cells infiltrating human decidua was significantly lower ( 16.01 1.64% , mean sem , n = 10 , vs. 39.12 3.83% , mean sem , n = 9 , p = 0.0009 ) ( fig .
no differences in the percentages of cd8 t cells , cd19 b cells , and cd14 monocytes were observed between the human decidua and the peripheral blood .
human decidual leukocytes contained also 6.4 1.8% ( mean sem , n = 8) of cd11b cells , 49.95 6.07% ( mean sem , n = 9 ) of cd11c cells , and 3.54 1.2% , ( mean sem , n = 9 ) of bdca-1 ( cd11ccd1c ) cells ( fig .
the frequencies of decidual myeloid cd11c and bdca-1 cells were significantly higher than their counterpart in the peripheral blood of pregnant women ( 13.12 1.74% , mean sem n = 9 , p = 0.0027 , and 0.69 0.27 , mean sem , n = 9 , p = 0.0047 , respectively ) ( fig .
our data are in line with a previous report demonstrating the presence of several subsets of dcs , including bdca-1 ( 0.2% ) , in the human first trimester decidua ; however , we found a higher percentage of decidual bdca-1 cells ( 3.5% ) .
this may be due to the method used for isolating decidua - infiltrating cells : ban et al .
used a non - enzymatic method , while we isolated immune cells from decidual tissues by collagenase - mediated digestion .
in addition , in the previous study the percentage of bdca-1 cells was calculated based on total decidual cells , whereas we evaluated the frequency of bdca-1 cells by gating on cd45 cells . in our setting ,
the percentage of cd45 cells ranged from 10% to 70% of the total decidual cells .
human decidua harbored a significant population of dc - sign cells that represents 610% of decidual cells .
decidual dc - sign cells have been shown to be immature myeloid cells and have been proposed to play a role in normal and pathological pregnancy outcome . in our setting ,
the percentage of decidual dc - sign cells was 2.9 0.6% ( mean sem , n = 8) , and their frequency was significantly higher than that observed in the peripheral blood of pregnant women ( 1.12 0.23% , mean sem n = 9 , p = 0.01 ) ( fig .
dc-10 are tolerogenic dcs characterized by their ability to secrete il-10 and by the high expression of membrane - bound hla - g .
since dc-10 are highly potent in inducing tr1 cells , we hypothesized that these cells might represent one of the major subsets of apcs present in the decidua involved in promoting and maintaining tolerance during pregnancy .
dc-10 were identified by the concomitant expression of cd14 , cd16 and cd83 on human decidual leucocytes ( cd45 ) .
interestingly , a significantly higher percentage of dc-10 was present in the human decidua than in the peripheral blood of pregnant women ( 2.29 0.75% , mean sem , n = 10 vs. 0.25 0.07% , mean sem , n = 8 , p = 0.0014 ) ( fig .
human decidual dc-10 expressed similar levels of hla - g , but significantly lower levels of ilt4 ( 80.38 2.45% , mean sem , n = 10 vs. 96.38 1.01% , mean sem , n = 8 ; p = 0.0003 ) as compared to circulating dc-10 ( fig .
similarly , inflammatory monocytes ( cd14cd16 ) present in the human decidua expressed similar levels of hla - g but lower amounts of ilt4 as compared to their circulating counterpart ( 56.86 4.89% , mean sem ,
n = 7 vs. 94.57 1.23% , mean sem , n = 9 ; p = 0.001 , fig .
the expression of hla - g and ilt4 on decidual bdca-1 cells was comparable to that observed in their peripheral blood counterpart ( fig . 2c ) .
the increased frequency of dc-10 observed in the decidua may be dependent on several mechanisms : dc-10 can be recruited from the peripheral blood , resident decidual dcs can be converted into dc-10 , or the decidual microenvironment can promote the de novo induction of dc-10 .
the decidual microenvironment is enriched of several chemokines , including ccl2 and cx3cl1 that have a role in tissue remodeling and in the recruitment of immune cells . peripheral blood dc-10
express ccr2 and cx3cr1 , thus it can be hypothesized that they are attracted and accumulated in the decidua .
several cytokines including il-4 , il-10 , and gm - csf as well as growth factors and hormones with anti - inflammatory properties are present at the decidual level ( reviewed in ) .
this pro - tolerogenic microenvironment is known to promote alternatively activated macrophages and tolerogenic dcs .
in particular , the high levels of il-10 may promote the up - regulation of hla - g , ilt2 and ilt4 on resident decidual immature dcs converting them into dc-10 .
alternatively , the presence of gm - csf , il-4 and il-10 can allow , through the il-10 dependent ilt4/hla - g pathway , the de novo induction of tolerogenic dc-10 .
further functional studies are required to better define the origin and the role of dc-10 in the decidua .
in addition to dcs , cd4cd25foxp3 tregs are enriched at the fetal - maternal interface and are expanded accordingly to gestational stages .
we confirmed that cd4cd25foxp3 tregs cells are present in the human decidua , and no differences in the percentages of these cells were observed between human decidua and peripheral blood in our cohort of pregnant women ( data not shown ) .
in addition to cd4cd25foxp3 tregs , other tregs either naturally occurring or induced have been described . among them
, we focused our attention on a new type of naturally occurring cd4 and cd8 tregs that constitutively express hla - g .
cd4hla - g and cd8hla - g tregs are present in the peripheral blood . moreover , cd4hla - g tregs have been shown to accumulate at sites of inflammation , and are potent suppressors of t cell proliferation in vitro
. to date , there is no evidence of the presence of hla - g - expressing cd4 or cd8 t cells in the peripheral blood and the decidua during pregnancy .
we first investigated the frequency of circulating cd4hla - g t cells in pregnant women as compared to healthy donors .
results showed a significantly higher frequency of hla - g expressing cd4 t cells in the peripheral blood of pregnant women ( pbmc pw ) compared to that of healthy donors ( pbmc hd ) ( 5.29 1.3% , mean sem , n = 8 vs. 2.13 0.28% , mean sem , n = 53 , respectively , p = 0.0053 ) ( fig .
interestingly , a distinct population of cd4 t cells expressing hla - g was detected in the human decidua ( 18.97 2.98% mean sem , n = 9 ) ( fig . 3a and b ) .
the frequency of cd8hla - g t cells in the human decidua was comparable to that observed in the peripheral blood of pregnant women ( data not shown ) .
similarly to what has been described in the central nervous system , cd4hla - g t cells can be recruited to the human decidua in the first phases of embryo implantation to control immune responses against the semi - allogeneic fetal antigens .
it still remains to be defined whether decidual cd4hla - g t cells express ccr5 or other chemokine receptors , which may allow their recruitment into the decidua , in analogy to what has been described for the same cells during the active inflammatory phase of multiple sclerosis .
we can not exclude that cd4hla - g t cells could be directly induced in the decidua by local il-10 as it is known that il-10 promotes hla - g expression in cd4 t cells .
moreover , we previously demonstrated that during tr1 cell induction via dc-10 , il-10-derived from dc-10 induces hla - g expression on cd4 t cells that become anergic t cells , and subsequently tr1 cells . in this scenario , it can be speculated that naive cd4 t cells , once recruited in the decidua , can be activated via dc-10 , up - regulate hla - g expression and then , in the continuous presence of il-10 and chronic allo - specific stimulation , they become allo - specific tr1 cells . it still remains to define whether cd4hla - g t cells are precursors of tr1 cells or represent a distinct subset of tregs , which co - operate with other tregs , including cd4cd25foxp3 tregs , in promoting and maintaining fetal - maternal tolerance .
in addition to an overall improvement of the knowledge on the biological mechanisms underlying tolerance associated with hla - g expression , our findings may have different potential clinical implications .
the ultimate goal of this study is the development of a risk assessment of women with a history of recurrent implantation failure who undergo in vitro fertilization ( ivf ) . from a diagnostic point of view
, the tolerance status of women with recurrent embryo implantation failure after ivf can be evaluated .
the analysis of dc-10 and hla - g tregs and their potential association with hla - g polymorphisms will allow the identification of specific hla - g genotypes that could be included among the pre - ivf screening tests . from a therapeutic point of view
, the study will open new perspectives for the modulation of immune responses in the early phases of pregnancy with the aim of minimizing the negative effects on embryo implantation associated with a reduced maternal tolerance status . | pubmed |
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Back to Soccer news
Nov 25, 2021, 3:11:00 AM
Cristiano Ronaldo leads Man United to the UCL knockout stage
Manchester United has booked their ticket to the Champions League's knockout stage by beating Villarreal for the second time. Cristiano Ronaldo and Jadon Sancho scored a goal apiece to lead the Reds to a 2-0 victory.
For the majority of the match, Villarreal was controlling the pace with a solid defensive strategy. However, they couldn't contain Man United when they found their stride late into the second half. David de Gea was also fantastic during this match as he saved multiple shots to keep a clean sheet.
Reds defender Victor Lindelöf was pleased to see a win. He believes that this win can leave a huge mark on their mindset. He said, 'It's been a tough couple of weeks and a tough couple of days, but we came here with the desire to win the game and go through to the next round, and we managed to do that. I'm very proud of the guys today and, of course, very happy that we're through as well'.
Bet on future soccer matches
Ronaldo's late goal opened up the scoring for the Reds as they poured on their aggression after his goal. Sancho followed up with his goal as he felt inspired by the level of performance that United showcased after the Ronaldo goal.
The defence was solid against the Villarreal offence as they kept a clean sheet. Over the past few weeks, United has been abysmal with their defence and now that Ole Gunnar Solskjær has parted ways with the squad, there have been changes in the team.
As the caretaker manager, Carrick was pleased with the win because it held solid value. He said, 'Let's be honest, I don't think we could have hoped to have come out here and played really pretty football from the word go. When you have suffered results-wise and not being in a great run of form, individually and as a team, it's not easy to just come out and let things click'.
It will be fun to see how the Man United squad will play in the next few weeks because they will surely be inspired by Ole's exit. Carrick has stepped in to keep following Ole's vision and the players are ready to keep fighting in the UCL and Premier League.
For updates on soccer and other sports, go to Sportsbet.io
Words: Cholo Martin
The complete and comprehensive Serie A betting guide
The Serie A has earned its place as one of the biggest leagues to watch in Europe. This competition is all about grit and grind, and many punters want to bet on the hottest games. They could use a guide to help them make the most of their bets.
Nations League: Expert predictions you need to know
The Nations League is one of the most prominent international leagues in Europe. It consists of numerous top-level national teams. Let's talk about some of the expert predictions you need to know before betting on the tournament.
How to bet on the Champions League 2021-22
The Champions League returns with a lot of intense matches, and fans are keen to see the best teams in Europe's top leagues battle for the big glory. There are a lot of punters who would love to get the chance to win out their bets in this competition.
How handicap betting works in the sports betting scene
Sports betting has a rich history surrounding it. The number of bettors has grown in the digital age but the betting markets haven't changed. Let's talk about a popular betting market called handicap and find out how it works.
Why the Messi vs Ronaldo debate will not go away
Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo have been embroiled in a friendly rivalry since they broke into football. They are considered the two best players in football history but their greatness is always debated. Let's talk about why the debate will not go away.
The season struggles of Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang
This season has not been kind to Arsenal forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang as he continues to struggle with the team's lack of synergy and offensive dynamic. It remains to be seen whether or not he'll pick up the slack.
Why traditional centre-backs are struggling in the modern era
Football is usually seen as a forward-thinking sport. As time goes on, the sport continues to evolve and roles change including the traditional centre-backs. Let's talk about them and how they have evolved over the years.
Man United beats Crystal Palace: A few takeaways
During the matchup between Manchester United and Crystal Palace, new interim manager Ralf Rangnick became the sixth German to manage in the Premier League. He secured his first win during his first game acting manager in charge during the feisty competition.
How Cristiano Ronaldo continues to evolve his playstyle
Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the most recognizable names in sports. He has sustained his success over the years with constant evolution. He is involved in the greatest player of all-time debate alongside Lionel Messi. Let's talk about his longevity and how he continues to evolve.
Why Arsenal struck gold with the duo of Martinelli and Saka
After easily beating the lowly Newcastle United on November 27, Arsenal's key pieces are starting to look like the future of the league. Both Gabriel Martinelli and Bukayo Saka are proving to be more than just young football players with high potentials. | slim_pajama |
Victor is an unincorporated community in Roberts County, in the U.S. state of South Dakota.
History
Victor was laid out in 1913, and named after Victor Township, in which it is located. A post office called Victor was established in 1913, and remained in operation until 1955.
References
Category:Unincorporated communities in Roberts County, South Dakota
Category:Unincorporated communities in South Dakota | wikipedia |
Trump - Merkel: We Were Both Wiretapped
President Donald Trump has stood by claims he was wiretapped under Barack Obama, telling visiting German Chancellor Angela Merkel: "At least we have something in common, perhaps."
US intelligence agencies under Obama reportedly monitored Merkel's phone, sparking an angry response.
But both Republican and Democratic congressional leaders have said they do not believe Trump was wiretapped.
Trump and Merkel have discussed key issues including Nato and trade, reports the BBC.
Her visit had been scheduled for Tuesday but was postponed due to a snowstorm.
Trump made his wire-tapping jibe in a joint press conference with Merkel. She gave a quizzical look.
He was also asked about a comment by White House press secretary Sean Spicer that the UK's GCHQ spy agency had carried out wiretapping on Trump during the US election campaign.
Trump said Spicer had been quoting a comment on Fox TV. The president said he had not offered an opinion on it, adding: "You shouldn't be talking to me, you should be talking to Fox."
Fox later read out a statement on air, saying: "Fox News knows of no evidence of any kind that the now president of the United States was surveilled at any time in any way, full stop."
GCHQ rejected the allegations against it as "nonsense" and Downing Street says it has been assured the US will not repeat the claims.
The US president was also asked if he regretted any of his regular tweets. He said "very seldom", adding that it was a way to "get round the media when it doesn't tell the truth". | slim_pajama |
ANALYZE THAT
Screenplay by
PETER STEINFELD and HAROLD RAMIS and PETER TOLAN
Based on characters created by
KENNETH LONERGAN and PETER TOLAN
June 2002 Draft
FOR EDUCATIONAL
PURPOSES ONLYFADE IN:INT. DIMLY-LIT BAR - NIGHTTwo men, CAESAR and MARTY "DUCKS," stand at the end of thedeserted bar, talking quietly, oblivious to the exotic dancergrinding her pelvis on a pole in the middle of the smallstage. Body language and charisma tell us that Caesar is theboss, "Ducks" his lieutenant.DUCKSIt's Peezee. Gotta be. He hates yourfuckin' guts.CAESAR(brooding)I don't know.DUCKSWho else knew about the money? Andhow did Peezee know they popped TonyCisco when we didn't even hear aboutit 'til last night?CAESAR(sighs heavily)I don't know.DUCKS(pressing)What is so hard to understand here?You said yourself Peezee was amamaluke and you couldn't trust him.Now suddenly you're soft on the guy?CAESARI just don't think it was him.DUCKSOkay, I'll bite. If not Peezee, thenwho?CAESAR(slowly rising to his full height)I think it was you, Ducks.Caesar starts to walk away as the bartender, now holding asawed-off shotgun, moves closer to Ducks. The exotic dancersplits in a hurry through a curtain at the back of the stage.DUCKS(scared)You gotta be kiddin'!Caesar stops at the door where two of his soldiers have2.appeared, holding AUTOMATIC WEAPONS.DUCKSCaesar, you know me! What kind offuckin' idiot would I have to be totry that shit with you?CAESARA dead fuckin' idiot.As he walks out the door, the soldiers OPEN FIRE on Marty"Ducks." Caesar doesn't look back.PULL BACK TO:The title credits come up on the made-for-cable series we'vebeen watching, "Little Caesar." CLAPPING AND CHEERING fromO.S.WIDEN TO:Maximum-security prisoners are gathered around watching theirfavorite show in the rec room. In the front row is PAUL VITTI,former New York crime boss, and a couple of other wiseguys.VITTIGarbage. Change the channel.WISEGUYOkay, Paul.The WISEGUY gets up and starts switching channels on the TV.A couple of CONVICTS in the back start to protest.CONVICTHey! What're you doin', asshole!Vitti turns and stares at them. They fall silentimmediately.CONVICTSorry, Mr. Vitti. Didn't mean anydisrespect.WISEGUYPunks.Vitti turns the page and sees a huge headline in the Post:MOB SHRINK TELLS ALL. He gets up, agitated.TV SCREENINT. SING SING PRISON - NIGHT3.VITTII'm going to bed.Vitti stands up and heads back to his cell.CUT TO:As Vitti approaches his cell, he sees a prison guard standingby. His cellmate, EARL, a giant of a man, comes out of theircell carrying his bedroll and a box containing his othermeager possessions.VITTI(suspicious)What's goin' on, Earl?EARLThey're transferring me.VITTIWhy?EARL(shrugs)Don't know. Thanks for looking outfor me, Mr. Vitti.VITTIYeah. Take it easy.He notices something in the box.VITTIHey, Earl. Is that my after-shave?EARL(blanches)I'm sorry. I just grabbed stuff/nobreakspace-- Ididn't know --VITTIThat's okay. Keep it. Go ahead.EARLThanks. See you around.Earl exits with the guard. Vitti hesitates a moment, thenwarily steps into his cell.CUT TO:The cellblock is quiet. A guard stops outside the darkenedcell, looks around to make sure no one is watching, thenINT. CELL BLOCK - MOMENTS LATER
INT. VITTI'S CELL - MIDDLE OF NIGHT4.pulls out a GUN with a SILENCER, reaches through the bars andFIRES REPEATEDLY into Vitti's shadowy form under the blanket.Then he slips away as quietly as he appeared.ON his exit we PAN DOWN TO Vitti, unhurt, curled up under hisbunk.CUT TO:A deluxe casket flanked by elaborate floral displays and aneasel displaying a portrait of the deceased, Dr. Isaac Sobel.Mourners fill the pews, standees at the back, an overflowcrowd. BEN SOBEL sits in the front row, staring at thecasket with his wife, LAURA, his son, MICHAEL, now ateenager, BEN'S MOTHER, and her friend, DR. JOYCE BROTHERS.At the podium, the RABBI is speaking.RABBIAnd now I'd like to call on Isaac'sson, Dr. Ben Sobel, who would like tosay a few words.Ben rises and crosses solemnly to the podium.BEN(addressing audience)It's very difficult for me to talkabout my father, because in a senseI'm talking about two men.BEN (CONT'D)One, of course, is the public IsaacSobel, the eminent psychotherapist andpopular author known to millions ofreaders around the world.Laura, Michael and Ben's Mother listen proudly to the eulogy.BENThe second Isaac Sobel is the privateman -- my father -- Dad. And forthose of you who knew him well andknew our family -- well, let's face it-- my father was a psychotic, mind-fucking prick. An arrogant, abusive,ego-inflated --A RINGING CELL PHONE interrupts him.JUMP CUT TO:INT. MEMORIAL CHAPEL - DAY
BEN5.still seated in the front row, daydreaming. The RINGINGCONTINUES as all the mourners and even the Rabbi discreetlycheck their cell phones.Then Ben realizes it's his, fumbles for the phone in hisjacket pocket and answers it.BEN(whispers)Hello?The mourners mutter.CUT TO:VITTIGuess who, you fuck!INTERCUT WITH:Ben turns away from Laura.BENPaul?(to Laura)I have to, uh, take this.(into phone)This isn't a good time.Vitti is disheveled, his hair messed, his shirt buttonedwrong.VITTINot a good time? Let me explainsomething to you. I'm in fucking Hellright now. This is not a good time.BEN(sotto voce)I can't talk right now. My fatherdied!VITTISo what does that have to do with me?BENCall me later --VITTIDon't hang up on, Sobel! They'retryin' to kill me!INT. PRISON PAY PHONE - SAME TIMEINT. CHAPEL6.Ben hangs up.CUT BACK TO:He stands there for a long beat just staring, the DIAL TONEBUZZING in his ear.CUT TO:Vitti and another WISEGUY pass through the cafeteria linewith their trays. Vitti now looks catatonic.WISEGUY #2Ooh, they got tapioca. I lovetapioca.(looks at Vitti)You all right, Paul?Vitti just stares, wild-eyed, actually drooling a little.WISEGUY #2Can I have your tapioca?A guard, the one who tried to kill him, watches Vitti fromhis post. Then he nods to someone across the room.COYOTE, a heavily-muscled and tattooed gang member, nods inresponse.Vitti walks past the table where Coyote is sitting with othertough Hispanic gang members.COYOTE(to Vitti)Hey, Fredo! Or is it Guido?His friends laugh.Vitti stops and stares dumbly at them.COYOTEJust keep walkin', Don Corleone.There is a tense moment, then Vitti bursts out laughing.COYOTEShut up!Vitti laughs harder, strangely manic.COYOTEI said, shut up, bitch!VITTIINT. SING SING - MESS HALL - NEXT DAY7.But Vitti can't stop. He drops his tray of slop, splatteringfood on the men. Coyote leaps to his feet and pulls a shiv.COYOTEYou're a dead man, jefe!Coyote lunges at Vitti with the knife, but Vitti suddenlywhirls around, bashes Coyote in the face with his food trayand bursts into song.VITTI(singing, with appropriate dance moves)'When you're a Jet,You're a Jet all the way,From your first cigaretteTo your last dyin' day...'Prisoners and guards stare at him like he's nuts.Coyote stabs at him again, but Vitti dodges and smashes himover the head with the tray.VITTI'When you're a Jet,If the shit hits the fan,You got brothers around,You're a family man...'COYOTEYou're a dead man, jefe!Coyote rushes him, but Vitti sidesteps and hits him in theface.Guards move in from all sides. Vitti jumps up on thetabletop to escape them.VITTI(kicking at them, singing)'I like to be in America,Okay by me in America...'The guards drag him down and cuff his hands behind him, thencarry him out stiff as a board.VITTI'Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night -- 'DISSOLVE TO:A limo pulls up to an old, but well-maintained suburbanhouse, the family gets out and starts walking to the house.EXT. SOBEL HOUSE - LATER8. CUT TO:The family crosses to the front door.BEN(sighs deeply)I can't believe he's gone.LAURAI can't believe what you said abouthim. Cold and withholding? You hadto tell everybody?MICHAELNice. Why didn't you just take aswing at the casket?Ben opens the front door and they go in.CUT TO:The family enters the foyer.BENOkay, I might have strayed from mynotes a little. I'm dealing with alot of stuff here. Grief is aprocess.Laura notices FBI AGENTS CERRONE and MILLER waiting for themin the living room. Cerrone is an attractive woman in herlate twenties, wearing a dangerously-short skirt. Miller isa clean-cut man in his thirties.MILLERDr. Sobel, I'm Agent Miller, this isSpecial Agent Cerrone, Federal Bureauof Investigation. We'd just like toask you a few questions, if we could.LAURA(testy)Can I ask what this is about? We justcame from the cemetery.CERRONEWe know this is a difficult time foryou, Dr. Sobel. Sorry about yourfather.BENThank you, I'm going to miss himEXT. SOBEL HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - MOMENTS LATER
INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS ACTION9.terribly.Ben gestures for them to sit.Laura and Michael both look at him doubtfully.BENI mean -- there were issues -- as, Ithink, there are with any father andson. He wasn't especially warm --LAURABen -- once today? Enough.BENNo, I'm just saying, in spite of allthat --Agent Cerrone crosses her legs, a move that does not gounnoticed by Ben and Michael.BEN-- he was a great, great legs.(beat)Man.CERRONEDr. Sobel, you received a call thismorning from Paul Vitti?Laura shoots him a look.BENWhat makes you think Paul Vitti calledme?MILLERBecause we monitor and record all hisphone calls from Sing Sing.BENThen yes. He did.LAURAThat was him on the phone?BENYes.LAURAAnd you didn't tell me?MICHAELWow. Talk about withholding.BENMichael?10.LAURAYou told her --(nodding at Agent Cerrone)You told her at the drop of a hat.Agents Cerrone and Miller eye each other.BENShe's with the F.B.I. She needs toknow these things.LAURAOh, I see. And I don't. Why tellLaura? She couldn't possibly handle aphone call.BENDid I say that?MILLERYou folks need a minute?BENNo, we're fine.LAURAIf you don't need me anymore, I'll bein the kitchen.(to Agent Cerrone)And two words of advice -- from oneprofessional woman to another/nobreakspace-- Pant.Suit.She exits.BENShe's grieving. It's a process.MILLERWe understand.(prompting)Vitti?BENOh, yes. Paul Vitti and I wereinvolved in some organized crimeactivity a couple of years ago. Imean, I wasn't involved -- not'involved' involved -- I was justtrying to help him therapeutically,and some people tried to, uh, kill us.No big deal.MILLERWell, shortly after you spoke, he11.seemed to have some kind of breakdown.BENWhat kind of breakdown?MILLERI think you'd better go up there andsee for yourself.CUT TO:Vitti huddles in the corner of a bare, white, padded cell,rocking, completely out of his head.VITTI(singing)'I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feelpretty and witty and bright...'Ben watches through a two-way mirror with the prisonpsychiatrist, DR. CUTLER. They can hear Vitti through awall-mounted speaker.DR. CUTLERI'm treating him with Thioridazine,300 milligrams, T.I.D. That seems tokeep him pretty calm.BEN(watching Vitti)That would keep a parade pretty calm.He just keeps singing West Side Storysongs?DR. CUTLER'Tonight,' 'Maria,' the balcony scene.BENThe balcony scene? Both parts?DR. CUTLEROh, yeah. Get him to do 'OfficerKrupke.' It's really good.Ben and Dr. Cutler enter. Vitti doesn't seem to notice.VITTI(singing)'Who's the pretty girl in the mirrorINT. SING SING INFIRMARY - PSYCH WARD - DAY
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - SAME TIME
INT. PADDED CELL12.there? What mirror? Where? Who canthat attractive girl be?'BENPaul, it's me. Ben Sobel. Paul?(beat)Maria?VITTITony?BEN(with a look to Dr. Cutler)Oh, boy.(to Vitti)What's going on, Maria?VITTIThe rumble -- it's tonight! I have toget out of here. I don't want to die.No, Chino, no!Vitti's jaw suddenly goes slack and he slumps in his seat,staring forward.BENPaul? Paul?Ben waves a hand in front of Vitti's face. Nothing.DR. CUTLERThis is how it's been. He sings for awhile, then he goes completelycatatonic.BEN(skeptical)Really. Can we take him to anexamining room?DR. CUTLEROf course.CUT TO:Vitti sits inert on the examination table.BENYou already did a neurological work-up?DR. CUTLERYep. No tumors, no aneurisms, no signof stroke --INT. EXAMINING ROOM - MINUTES LATER13.Ben slaps Vitti's face lightly a couple times.BENCompletely catatonic --He pulls on Vitti's ears and nose. Vitti does not react.BENTotally gone. Well, I don't thinkhe's smart enough to be faking.Street smart, yes, but we're talkingabout an I.Q. just north of a bedroomslipper.Ben checks Vitti out of the corner of his eye. No reaction.Then Ben takes a sharp needle from an instrument tray.BENSo if I just stuck him with thisneedle, he probably wouldn't evenrespond.DR. CUTLERI don't know. Try it.Ben hesitates for a moment to see if Vitti will crack, thenBENOkay --He sticks the needle into Vitti's shoulder.VITTI(bursts into song)'Boy, boy, crazy boy, keep cool, boy!Got a rocket in your pocket, keepcool-y cool boy -- 'CUT TO:Vitti is sitting at a table facing Ben. Dr. Cutler observesfrom a chair in the corner.BENPaul, we're going to give you sometests to assess your mental condition.There's no pressure -- just answer asbest you can. Do I have your consentto share the results of these tests?VITTIMommy's mad at me because I made aboom on the rug.INT. SING SING - CONSULTATION ROOM - NEXT DAY14.BENI'll take that as a yes. Okay, I'mgoing to show you ten cards, eachcontaining a picture of an inkblot. Iwant you to look at each card and tellme what you see.VITTII see you. I see him. I see a table.BENFocus, Paul. You haven't seen thecard yet.(hands him first card)What does this look like to you? Takeyour time.Vitti looks at the wrong side of the card. It's all white.VITTIIt looks like snow.BENNo, Paul, the other side.Vitti turns it over and makes a face.VITTIA bat. A big bat. Or a weasel.BEN(taking notes)Bat or weasel. All right.VITTIAnd he's got a little girl -- no, it'sa little boy -- in his teeth -- andhe's shakin' him and shakin' him'cause the kid didn't wipe himselfgood -- and the kid is screamingbecause the bat-weasel ripped out histhroat and the blood is shootin' outof his neck vein.(pointing)That's the blood.Doctor Cutler looks worried.BEN(skeptical)See anything else?VITTIJust the pussy with the teeth.15.BEN(making more notes)Pussy with teeth. Next card.CUT TO:Vitti is literally trying to pound a square peg into a roundhole.CUT TO:BENNow try repeating the numbersbackwards. For instance, if I was 1-2-3, you will say 3-2-1. Okay, 7-3-8.VITTI3-2-1.BENTry again. 7-3-8.VITTIBlue.CUT TO:Vitti studies a vague and ambiguous photograph of a manstanding beside a bed with a sleeping woman and child on it.BENJust tell me what you think is goingon in this picture.VITTIThis is a picture of a guy -- nice,hardworking guy -- comes home andfinds out his wife's been screwin'this midget while he was out of town.BEN(appalled, makes a note)Screwing a midget. And how does thestory end?VITTII think he works over the midget for awhile, then he blows 'em away.SHAPES TESTVITTI AND BEN
THEMATIC APPERCEPTION TEST16.BENThe wife or the midget?VITTI(smirks)Trick question, right? Both of 'em.CUT TO:BENOkay, Paul. Last test. In this one,I'm going to start a sentence and youcomplete it any way you want to.Ready? 'I getangry -- 'VITTIYes.BENNo, you're supposed to complete thesentence.VITTII did. I said 'yes.'BENI wasn't asking if you agreed ordisagreed; it was more like, 'I getangry when -- 'VITTI-- whenever.BENWell, that about does it for me.CUT TO:Ben meets with RICHARD CHAPIN, the U.S. Attorney for theSouthern District of New York.BENBased on his symptoms and the testresults, I'd say brief psychoticdisorder -- if it persists, possiblyschizophreniform disorder. And Dr.Cutler agrees with my diagnosis.CHAPINSo he's crazy?ANOTHER TEST
INT. U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE - DAY17.BENDr. Cutler? No, he's annoying, but --CHAPINVitti.BENNot crazy. At least not permanently.In certain people, continuous exposureto an extremely stressful situation --soldiers in combat, for instance,disaster victims, a hostage situation,or being locked up in a maximumsecurity prison with someone trying tokill you -- it can produce a temporarypsychotic state.CHAPINHow temporary?BENA day, a week, up to a month/nobreakspace-- if theprecipitating stressors are removed.CHAPIN(musing)Which means he's not going to get anybetter while he's still in the can.BENHe could get worse. He coulddeteriorate to the point where he'd bepermanently schizophrenic.CHAPINThen I'd say he's got a real problem,because he goes before the paroleboard in four weeks.BENYou think they'll let him out?CHAPINOh, yeah, I'm sure they'll want torelease a major Mafia figure who's nowtotally deranged on top of it.BEN(thinks)Well, couldn't you release him to ahalfway house or some place where hecould get some decent treatment?Based on my earlier work with him, Idon't think he's dangerous, and Ithink he was making a real effort toreform himself.18.CHAPINYou do, huh?(thinks for a long moment)Okay. Then I'll tell you what. I'mgonna release him into your custody.BENMine? Me? No, this is a bad time forme. My father just died -- and I'vegot this bulging disc in my neck --and we're redecorating, which is atotal nightmare. I can't --CHAPINYou want to see him killed in prison?BENNo, of course not.CHAPINOr sent to a facility for thecriminally insane.BENNo --CHAPINThen he's all yours. I'm going totalk to the Bureau of Prisons and getyou certified as a temporary federalinstitution.BEN(stricken)What? I can't be an institution.CHAPIN(firm)You've got thirty days to get him inshape for his parole hearing. Thatmeans sane, sober and gainfullyemployed. But let me warn you,Doctor. If he fucks up in any way --if he flees, or if I find out thatthis whole thing was just a setup sohe could get back on the street andreturn to a life of crime -- I willhold you totally responsible, and I'llsee that you are stripped of yourlicense and prosecuted to the fullextent of the law. Are we clear?BEN(gulp)Yes. We're clear.19.CHAPINYou still want him?BEN(long beat to decide)Yes.CUT TO:The gate opens and Ben coaxes Vitti outside. A guard watchesthem.BENOkay, Paul -- this way.Vitti comes out carrying an overnight bag, walking like azombie. Ben leads him over to the car and opens the door forhim. Vitti keeps walking, passing the car.BENThis way, Paul. Over here. Here wego.Ben helps Vitti into the car. One of Vitti's legs is stilloutside.BENLeg, Paul. Leg up.Ben lifts Vitti's leg into the car and closes the door.CUT TO:Ben STARTS the CAR and pulls away with Vitti still slumped inhis seat. Once out of sight of the prison, Vitti straightensand turns on Ben, suddenly lucid.VITTI(enraged)You fucking son-of-a-bitch! Where thefuck do you get off sticking me with aneedle?BENI knew it! I knew you were faking!You used me to get you out of prison!VITTITook you long enough. I was singin'West Side Story for three fuckin'days. I'm half a fag already.EXT. SING SING - FEW DAYS LATER
INT. CAR - MOMENTS LATER20.BENWhat are you talking about?VITTII call you to say somebody's trying tokill me and you hang up on me?BENI was at the funeral home!VITTIYou're my fuckin' doctor!BENMy father died!VITTIMe me me me! He's dead! Get over it.BENAre you hearing yourself?VITTI(perfunctorily)I'm deeply sorry for your loss.BENYeah, I can see how touched you are.VITTIWhat's the difference? You hated himanyway.BENI loved my father. I'm feeling a lotof grief right now.VITTII'm not sensing it, but if you say so.Ben nervously pops a pill and swallows it.VITTI(re: pill)What's that?BENDecongestant. I'm getting over acold. All right, what's going on?Who's after you?VITTII don't know -- take your pick. Couldbe my old family, or could be theRigazzis. Ever heard of Lou Rigazzi -- Lou 'The Wrench'?21.BENWhy "The Wrench"?VITTIBecause he twisted a guy's head offonce.BENOff?VITTIOff. Fuckin' Calabrese -- animals.And comin' from me you know that's abig compliment.BENI'm sure they'd be flattered. So --VITTIThe feds are really putting thepressure on. The families arefighting each other again -- what'sleft of 'em. It's the fall of thefuckin' Roman Empire. It'sWorld War Three out there.BENSo what does that have to do with you?VITTIThey knew I was gettin' out soon andthe last thing anybody wants to see isme getting into it on either side.BENMaybe if you just explain tothem -- that you're out of it now,that you're starting a new life --VITTIYeah, they'll probably want to throwme a party and give me a gold watch.Trust me -- nobody's lookin' forwardto me being out.BENYou are, aren't you?VITTIMe? Oh, yeah, my future looks realfuckin' rosy.Ben can't believe what he's gotten himself into.CUT TO:EXT. SOBEL HOUSE - LATER22.Ben and Vitti pull into the driveway and get out of the car.BENWant to grab your stuff?VITTII'm not gonna be here that long.Jelly's pickin' me up in an hour.BENPaul! I don't think you understand.You're in my custody. I could get ina lot of trouble if you screw up.VITTIDon't worry about it. I'll call youtomorrow.BENOh, no. You want to go back to SingSing? Thursday's meatloaf night. Ican have you back there in no time.The U.S. Attorney was very clear. Youstay with me; therapy every day; youcan't leave the area withoutpermission --VITTIWhat are you, my father now?BENAnd you have to get a job as soon asyou're well enough, which is now. Soare you coming in with me or do I haveto make a phone call?Vitti relents and grabs his stuff from the back seat.VITTII'm comin'. Some fuckin' life this isgonna be.He follows Ben up the stairs.CUT TO:Chapin is conferring with another U.S. ATTORNEY, DAVIS, andAgents Miller and Cerrone.CERRONEYou really think Vitti is crazy?CHAPINYeah, he's about as crazy as I am.INT. U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE - LATER23.Think about it. Locked up, he wasabsolutely no use to me. But back onthe street, Vitti's still powerfulenough to pose a threat to bothfamilies. It's like throwing gasolineon a fire.DAVISIf we can use Vitti to escalate thiswar, we might just end up putting themall away.MILLERThat's if he goes back to his oldlife.CHAPINIf? People like Paul Vitti don'tchange. This guy's been a menace tosociety since he was twelve years old.Being a criminal is all he knows.Trust me.DAVISHe's gonna head straight for trouble.Then all we have to do is sit back andpick up the pieces. We could gettwenty, maybe even thirty indictmentsnext time the grand jury convenes.CHAPIN(smiles)You know, Giuliani started this way.DAVISYou running for mayor?CHAPINCould happen. Just stick with Vitti.CUT TO:Ben and Laura are in the kitchen, cleaning up the dinnerdishes. Ben is wearing an apron that says "To Heck withHousework!" and a pair of Playtex rubber gloves. Laura isangrily muscling dishes around.LAURAHow could you? How could you bringhim here? That --(shuddering)-- mobster -- in my home -- eating offmy dishes.INT. SOBEL HOUSE - LATER24.(looking at the plate in her hand, disgusted)Ewww.She scrubs the plate with manic energy.BENI didn't have a lot of choice.LAURAOh, there's a law that says you haveto bring a gangster home?BENI told you. He's in my custody. I'ma federal institution.LAURAYou should be in an institution. Whycouldn't he just go home?BENHis wife and kids aren't here.They're in Ohio.LAURAOhio! Sure. Everyone gets to be inOhio except me.BENHis life was threatened and he didn'twant to endanger his family.LAURAHow thoughtful! What aboutendangering our family?(worried)I think my teeth are loose. Feel myteeth.BENHoney, your teeth are fine. I knowit's an imposition, but what could Ido? I didn't want him here. They -LAURAYou didn't want him, I didn't wanthim, but here he is!She looks up and jumps when she sees Vitti standing there.LAURA(covering, cheerful)Here he is!VITTICoffee?25.LAURAWhat?VITTISomebody said something about coffee.LAURAThat was you. You said you wantedsome.VITTISo what's the holdup?LAURA(to Ben)Why don't you make your friend somecoffee. I'm going upstairs to take along bath and hopefully drown.Laura smiles at the two men, then exits.BENYou'll have to forgive her. She'susually a great hostess.VITTII understand. She's uncomfortable.The whole situation's a little awkwardwith me bein' here -- but let's faceit, Emily fuckin' Post she's not.BENEmily fuckin' Post. Well, thatexplains why she rarely used hermiddle name.VITTIListen, I got a friend coming over. Ididn't want you to be surprised.BENWhat kind of friend? Because if it's'The Wrench,' or 'The Power Drill' orany other kind oftool --VITTINot that kind of friend. It's apersonal thing.BENThey won't stay late, will they?VITTI(stares at him)Are you really that pussy-whipped?26.BENI'm not -- this has nothing to do withLaura.VITTII heard her busting your balls.BENWe were having a disagreement. Acertain amount of conflict is normalin a marriage.VITTIOr?BENOr what?VITTIOr you're pussy-whipped.BENPaul --VITTIGood night, Whippy.BEN(calls after him)Remember, this is only temporary.VITTIOh, really? I didn't hear you thetenth fuckin' time.He exits.CUT TO:Ben knocks on Michael's door and walks in without waiting tobe asked.CUT TO:Michael is sitting up in bed reading.BEN(oblivious)Mike, can we talk for a second?MICHAELSure. What?INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATERINT. MICHAEL'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS ACTION27.BENI know the last few weeks have beenkind of tough with Grandpa -- dyingand everything -- and it might've feltto you like I didn't have time for youor I didn't care about how you feel.MICHAELNo, it didn't.BENGood. Because I want you to know thatyou can talk to me about stuff andthat I can really listen andunderstand what you're going through.MICHAELI do, Dad.BENAnd if I seemed a little hard onGrandpa, it's just that yourgrandfather was a hard man in a lot ofways. He wanted everything done hisway and sometimes I just felt likenothing I ever did was good enough. Idon't want it to be that way with us.MICHAELIt's not.BENAnd you know, at times like this weall might start questioning our ownmortality and you might be thinkinghow devastated you'd be if I died.Right?MICHAELNo. Not really.BENThat's good. Good talk. And Irealize it's all a little hectic rightnow, but this Paul Vitti thing is onlytemporary, okay?MICHAELOh, really? I didn't hear you thetenth fuckin' time.BENThat's not funny. Good night,Michael.28.MICHAELGood night, Whippy.Ben exits, shaking his head.The moment he's gone, the rumpled blankets next to Michaelshift, and a CUTE, PUNKY 16-YEAR-OLD GIRL emerges from hidingunder the comforter.CUTE GIRLI gotta get home. What was thatabout?MICHAELI have no idea. Parenting stuff.CUT TO:The suburban street is dark and quiet and all the lights areoff in the house.WOMAN (V.O.)Ohhhhh! Ohhhhh, Paul!CUT TO:The room is dark. We PAN UP the foot of Ben and Laura's bedand find them both wide awake staring straight up at theceiling, listening.WOMAN (O.S.)Ohhhh, God! Oh, oh, oh, oh!BENThis has to be some kind of record,don't you think? It's been like fortyminutes.LAURAHow long are you going to let them goon?BENLet them? How much longer can he go?Another twenty minutes, I'm eitherbreaking it up or calling the GuinnessBook of Records.The MOANING shifts into low gear, more guttural and bestial.LAURAOh, give me a break. She's got to beEXT. SOBEL HOUSE - NIGHT
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - SAME TIME29.faking. Nobody sounds like that.BEN(suggestively)That's not entirely true.LAURAOkay, sometimes you do sound likethat.The O.S. MOANING kicks up another notch. Laura rolls overand jams her pillow over her ears. Ben growls, exasperated.CUT TO:Michael's girlfriend is gone. He has his bedroom door open acrack and he's standing there holding a small tape recorderand smiling broadly.WOMAN (O.S.)(high-pitched now)Ah, ah, ah, ah...!CUT TO:Agents Cerrone and Miller sit in a sedan with a small,sophisticated-looking microphone trained on the Sobel housejust down the street. They hear the high-pitched MOANING.Miller gives Cerrone a look.CERRONEOh, come on. Nobody sounds like that.CUT TO:Ben takes a deep breath and knocks sharply on the guest roomdoor. The heavy MOANING STOPS. After a moment, Vittiappears wearing only a bathrobe. Ben can see the beautifulSHEILA sitting naked on the bed.VITTIWhat?BEN(indignant)I have a 17-year-old son.VITTISo let him get his own fuckin' girl.INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM - SAME TIME
EXT. STREET - SAME TIME
INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER30.BENCan I talk to you, please?VITTIActually, I'm right in the middle ofsomeone.Sheila starts to light a cigarette.BENMiss? Excuse me. There's no smokingin this house.CUT TO:Michael freezes, about to light a cigarette himself.CUT TO:Ben comes down the stairs with Vitti.BENWhat do you think you're doing?VITTIMinding my own fuckin' business, likeyou should be doin'.BENWell, it's a little hard with the livesex show going on in the guest room.VITTII've been in prison for two and a halfyears. What am I supposed to do?BENGo to a hotel.VITTIThat's what I wanted to do, but youtold me I had no choice -- it waseither here or Sing Sing.BENI'm not trying to punish you. Thesearen't my rules, but I have aresponsibility here. Besides, Ithought you might like a nice home-cooked meal after being in prison thatlong.INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM - SAME TIMEINT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENT LATER31.VITTIYeah, that's what I've been jerkin'off about for eight hundredconsecutive nights -- a nice home-cooked meal.(making a jerking motion)Ohhhh, tuna casserole.BENThat girl is not staying here.VITTII think you're jealous.BENOh, yeah, I'm really jealous.VITTII didn't hear nothin' comin' out ofyour room.BENWe don't think it's necessary to wakethe neighbors every time we have sex.VITTIHey, if you're really quiet, you mightbe able to do it without even wakin'up your wife.SHEILA (O.S.)(moaning)Ohhh. Ohhh.Ben looks curiously at Vitti.VITTII told her if I wasn't back in twominutes to start without me. I gottago.Vitti heads back upstairs.BENThis is not a good start, Paul.CUT TO:Laura and Ben are hosting a brunch for the out-of-townrelatives. Laura offers a basket of bagels to a seated,older woman.INT. DINING AREA - NEXT MORNING32.LAURAAunt Ester, I'm so sorry we had to putyou up at the hotel. We wanted youhere with us, but we had an unexpectedhouse guest.She glares at Ben.AUNT ESTHER(sighs)Your father always had room for us.BENI'm sorry.(mutters to Laura)Next time I lose a parent, I'll besure to reserve the guest room.A DOOR SLAMS somewhere, then Sheila storms into the roomsobbing, her hair askew, tucking her blouse into her skirt.SHEILA(screaming)Go to hell, Paul! You just go tohell!VITTI (O.S.)Go ahead! Get out of here, you crazyfuckin' whore.Vitti charges into the room, his robe open. From thereactions of everyone in the room, it's clear he's notwearing anything under it.VITTIGo back to turning tricks in Jerseyfor all I fuckin' care.Sheila exits and slams the front door. Vitti sees everyonestaring at him. He closes his robe.VITTIHow's it goin'?(sees buffet)Oh, we got food. Good.Vitti heads for the buffet.LAURA(smiling)Ben?BEN(quickly)Paul?33.Vitti bellies up to the buffet, stepping between an oldercouple. He eyes the food disdainfully.VITTIOh, great. Jew food. Who do you haveto fuck to get some bacon around here?The woman reacts in horror.VITTINot you, I'm guessing.BEN(snags Vitti's arm)Why don't we go to my office? I'llmake you a plate.CUT TO:Ben and Vitti enter. Vitti still in his robe.VITTIWhat is it with your relatives? Theytend to overreact quite a bit.BENI know. All you did was flasheverybody in the dining room.VITTISo? From the look of 'em, some ofthose broads haven't seen the oldsalcicc' in a long time. It's goodfor them.BENWell, when the paramedics revive myAunt Goldie, I'll be sure to ask her.Sit.Vitti starts for Ben's chair.BENAh ah ah!He points Vitti to the sofa and takes his own chair.BENSo what are you going to do, Paul?VITTIWhat do you mean?BENWith your life.INT. BEN'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER34.VITTIFirst I'm gonna find out who's tryin'to kill me. I'm a target. Somebodycould shoot right through that window-- blow my fuckin' head off.Ben sees that he's in the line of fire, gets up and moves outof the way.BENOkay, that's a priority. Have youthought about what you're going to dofor work?VITTIYeah. I'm too big for a jockey soI was thinkin' maybe a hairdresser.They'll call me Mr. Paul.BENCome on. There must be something youlike to do.VITTII like hitting a guy on the head witha baseball bat.BENOh, sporting goods. We'll check thewant ads tomorrow but don't get yourhopes up. Anything else?VITTIShylocking, bookmaking, unions, theusual --BENWho are you?VITTIWho am I? I'm the guy who's payingyou $150 an hour to play these stupidfuckin' games. You know who I am.BENI know that. I mean what are you?VITTIWhat do you mean, 'What am I?'BENI just want to know how you seeyourself.35.VITTIYou're making me very fuckin' nervous.BENJust answer the question. What areyou?VITTI(shrugs)I'm the boss.BENReally? The boss of what -- Jelly?You're not the boss of me. So whatare you the boss of?VITTIYou, you're good. I see what you'redoing here.BENWhat am I doing, Paul?VITTIYou're pissing me off is what you'redoing. Look at me. It's startingagain, the anxiety.BENI understand.BEN (CONT'D)You've spent your whole life becomingwho you are and now you can't be thatanymore -- that's gotta be scary. Ifyou're not Paul Vitti the mob boss,who are you?Vitti is at a loss.BENWell, let's think. When you were akid, What did you want to be?VITTII don't know. Who remembers thatstuff?BENYou must've wanted to be somethingwhen you were little -- fireman?VITTINo.BENBaseball player?36.VITTINo.BENAstronaut?VITTINo.BENAl Capone?VITTIYeah, maybe. What did you want to be?BENWe're not talking about me.VITTII am.BENFine. I wanted to be a philatelist.VITTIYou wanted to look up people'sassholes all day?BENNo, Paul, I believe you're thinking ofa proctologist. I wanted to collectrare and unusual stamps.VITTIYou must've been a lot of laughs whenyou were a kid. Lonely, huh?BENOh yeah. Big time. So what did youwant to be?VITTIIt's stupid.BENYou afraid to tell me?VITTIYeah, I'm afraid.BENThen tell me. I'm not here to judgeyou.37.VITTI(a beat)Okay. When I was really little --like seven or eight -- maybe I wantedto be a cowboy.BENA cowboy. Really?VITTIYeah. My father gave me a cowboysuit -- you know, the vest, thechaps, the cap guns -- the wholething. And he used to take me upto my uncle's farm in New Jerseyand lead me around on this pony.Yippee-i-o. You happy now?BENSo you watched cowboy movies and TVshows with your father.VITTIEverybody. The whole family. Myfather loved 'Gunsmoke.'BENSheriff Dillon.VITTI(corrects him)Marshal Dillon.BENMarshal. So who were your favoritecowboys?VITTIThis is so fuckin' retarded.BENPaul!VITTIAll right. Gene Autry, Roy Rogers,the Lone Ranger --BENInteresting. They're all good guys.VITTIYeah, I guess.BENNo, that's important. You didn't wantto be the bad guy. You wanted to bethe hero.38.VITTIYeah, so?BENSo what happened?VITTII don't know. Nothing happened.BENSo why didn't you become a cowboy?VITTII lived in East Harlem! I joined astreet gang when I was 12 and that wasit.BENSomething else happened when you weretwelve.VITTIWhat?BEN(prompting)Something that made you very sad?VITTIThe Dodgers moved from Brooklyn toL.A. Everybody took it pretty hard.BENSomething else.VITTIWe playin' a guessing game here?BENPaul! Your father was murdered!Right in front of you. Remember?VITTIDo I remember? I think about it everyfuckin' day of my life. What's thatgot to do with it?BENIt's got everything to do with it. Hegave you the cowboy suit. With awhite hat. He was in the mob, but hewanted you to be a good guy, didn'the?Vitti starts thinking about his father and starts to weep.39.VITTIYeah. He did.BENHe didn't want you in the gang life.He only did it himself so you wouldn'thave to. He was trying to buy you abetter life than his.VITTI(crying harder)He always said he wanted me to go tocollege. I didn't even finish highschool.He really starts sobbing now.BENWell, Paul, this could be a greatopportunity for you. You're rightback where you were when you weretwelve. You've got some big choicesto make.Vitti fights to regain control.VITTIOkay. Okay. That's enough of thatshit.BENIt's not shit, Paul. My point is,when you're a child, you thinkanything is possible. Wouldn't it begreat to think like that now?VITTI(retreating back into his cynicism)Yeah, just sprinkle some fuckin' fairydust on me.BENI'm just saying you've got to keepan open mind and explore some newpossibilities. Try some differentthings -- maybe you'll connect withone of them. There's a careercounselor I work with. I can callhim for you. He may be able to helpyou find a job.VITTIYou mean working for somebody? I'msupposed to take orders from some guywho used to get me coffee?(starts sweating and40. breathing hard)I can't do that. It's not right.It's not me.BENHow do you know unless you try?Suddenly one of the WINDOWS behind Vitti SHATTERS.Ben dives for cover. Silence -- then another RAP on thewindow. Ben looks out and sees JELLY in the back yard,tossing stones at the window.JELLY(calls out)Hiya, Doc. Sorry about the window.Ben waves him around to the side door.CUT TO:Jelly is loading up a plate of food from the buffet, talkingto the elderly relatives. Laura stares at him.JELLYI love lox and bagels. I dated aJewish woman once. Actually, shemight have been the love of my life,but my mother broke it up.JELLY (CONT'D)She was always hockin' me a chinickabout the madels. A wonderful woman,my mother, but she fuckin' hates theHebes.LAURAReally.(noting mountain of food on his plate)More smoked salmon? Don't be shy.Ben enters.BENJelly -- what are you doing here?JELLYMakin' new friends. How's it going,Doc? I brought some clothes for Mr.Vitti.LAURA(indicating the door)Ben?INT. DINING AREA - MOMENTS LATER41.BENThat's great, Jelly. I'd love tocatch up with you -- outside.JELLY(rising)You got it.(to Laura)Thanks, Mrs. S.(to others)So long, everybody. Ess gesunterhait.Jelly and Ben exit.CUT TO:Ben and Jelly walk out to the driveway where Jelly's Buick isparked.JELLYSo. Long time no see. You look good,Doc.BEN(trying to be pleasant)And you, Jelly -- you look --(can't find words for how he looks)Did you get a haircut? I thought youwere in prison.JELLYIt would appear not.BENHow'd you get out?JELLYNew trial. The evidence in my firsttrail was, you know, tainted. Turnsout two of the witnesses against mechanged their minds -- and the thirdone, he died after a short illness.BENWhat did he have?JELLYGunshot wound to the head.BENThat's not an illness.EXT. SOBEL HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER42.JELLYYeah, but it is short.Vitti, now dressed, comes out of the house and crosses to thecar.BEN(to Vitti)Where are you going?VITTII got stuff to do.BENWhat kind of stuff?VITTI(as he gets into the car)Calm down. I'll be back.BENYou can't leave without my permission.VITTIOh, yeah? Watch me. Drive, Jelly.Jelly STARTS the CAR and slowly backs out of the driveway.Ben runs after the car, talking to Vitti through the openwindow.BENThat's it, Paul. I forbid you to go.VITTIStop sweating, Doc. I'll be back.Vitti puts the window up.BEN(shouts anxiously)If you screw this up, Paul -- Paul!The car pulls away.BEN(angrily)Shit! Shit, shit, shit!Ben turns and sees his Aunt Goldie on the porch.AUNT GOLDIESo, the fat one -- he's single?CUT TO:43.Soldiers lounge at the bar, keeping a respectful distancefrom the capos seated at a table in the rear. All eyes turnas the door opens and Vitti enters.SAL MASIELLO, Vitti's old consigliere rises and warmly butwarily welcomes Vitti back into the fold.MASIELLOPaulie, great to see you! You'relookin' good, kid. Lookin' very good.Jelly, how are ya?Vitti embraces him and they sit down with the others.MASIELLOSo, Paul, we heard you had sometrouble while you were away. Some'mental' problems.VITTINo, I'm okay. It was an act. I hadto pretend I was nuts. There werepeople watching me all the time.MASIELLOLittle people?VITTIDoctors. They never woulda let me outif they thought I was normal.MASIELLOSo you ain't crazy?VITTIYou want to see crazy? Just tell mewho's trying to kill me. I'll showyou crazy.MASIELLOWe're in a war, Paul -- nobody's saferight now. The Rigazzis are walkin'all over us. We got next to nothingcoming in, and I don't have to tellyou, you don't buy a lot of musclewithout money these days. We needyou, Paul. The family needs you.VITTII can't do it, Sal. I'm out of it.MASIELLOCome on, Paulie. Nobody used to dothe big jobs like you. Air France--they're still talkin' about it.INT. KNIGHTS OF PALERMO SOCIAL CLUB - DAY44.VITTISal, even if I wanted to -- the fedsMASIELLOAfter your father died, I alwaystreated you like my own son. You knowthat.VITTII know.MASIELLOHe was a good man. I still miss him.VITTIYeah, I do too.MASIELLOSo you'll think about it. For me,Paulie?VITTIYeah, okay, I'll think about it.MASIELLO(brightening)Hey, what is this -- a fuckin' funeralhere? You just got back from collegefor Chrissakes. We should be havin' aparty for you.(to bartender)Hey, Nino, give everybody a roundhere. We gotta drink to Paul.VITTII can't, Sal. I gotta go talk to theboss.MASIELLOI understand. No problem. It's goodto have you back, Paul.(embraces him)Don't forget what I said. We'recountin' on you.Vitti gives his old friend a pat on the back and exits.CUT TO:Jelly pulls up, Vitti gets out and strides up to the frontdoor of a nice home on Staten Island and RINGS the BELL.CUT TO:EXT. LOPRESTI HOUSE - SAME MORNING45.The door is opened by EDDIE DEVOL, early thirties, dark andsullen.EDDIEYeah, what?VITTI'Yeah, what?' That's how you answerthe door?EDDIEYou got a problem with that?VITTIYeah.Vitti punches Eddie in the mouth, sending him sprawling backinto the living room. Several other bodyguards are watchingtelevision, caught off guard by Vitti's sudden entrance.VITTIWhere is she?PATTY (O.S.)(calls out)In the kitchen, Paul.CUT TO:Vitti enters. PATTY LOPRESTI, mid-forties, still sexy evenin an apron, is mixing cake batter in a bowl with an electricmixer.PATTYPaul -- what a nice surprise.VITTIHow's it goin', Patty?PATTYGood. It's good. Give me a kiss,you.Patty hugs and kisses him, taking the opportunity to pat himdown for a weapon or a hidden wire.VITTISorry to hear about Carmine. He was agood man.PATTYYeah. You live with a person twenty-one years, then one day they'reINT. ENTRY HALL - CONTINUOUS ACTION
INT. PATTY'S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS ACTION46.pulling his torso out of the river.It's hard.VITTII'll bet -- especially with all thetalk about you being the one who puthim there.PATTYThat's why I try not to gossip, Paul.It's ugly. Just a sec.(screaming to ceiling)Michelle! Teresa! It's ten-thirty!Stop fucking around and get ready forballet!(to Vitti)It's hard being a single parent and acareer woman.VITTIYeah, I'm sure you're very busy.PATTYThe pressure -- it's awful. Forinstance, a lot of people think, nowthat you're out, you're going to tryand take the family back from me. ButI said, no, Paul would never do that.(smiling)By the way, how are Marie and thekids? Still in Ohio? In ShakerHeights? At 1356 Locust?Vitti explodes, reaches across the counter and grabs her bythe shoulders.VITTI(enraged)You even go near them, you crazy bitch--PATTY(quietly)Don't make me call my guys in. Youmay need the shit kicked out of you,but not in here. I just mopped.Vitti lets her go.PATTY(smoothing clothes, flushed and a little excited)Wow. Have you been working out?VITTIYeah, I been workin' out who's trying47.to kill me. I'd love to hear yourthoughts on that.PATTYIt's a dog-eat-dog world out there.Nobody's gonna be safe unless we canend this thing with the Rigazzis.VITTISo then you didn't have nothin' to dowith it.PATTY(hurt)Oh, Paul. You actually think I wouldkill you? All the years we've knowneach other -- the Christmas parties,the fun times at the beach. Itwouldn't be right. I want us to befriends.(smiles demurely)Who knows? Maybe we'll be more thanfriends. Want to lick my beaters?She holds the beaters out to him.VITTI(declining)Thanks. I gotta see a guy about abusiness thing.PATTYWhat kind of business? You know, ifyou get something going, we wouldexpect some kind of consideration -- alittle taste.VITTINo, this is a legitimate business.PATTY(shudders)Oh, Paul. I just got a chill.VITTII just want to be left alone. Put mylife back together -- straight up thistime. Put the word out, will ya?Nobody's got nothin' to worry aboutfrom me.PATTYSure, Paul. I understand.He heads for the door.48.PATTY(calls after him)Don't be a stranger!After Vitti leaves, Eddie enters from the other door.PATTY(turning to Eddie)Watch him like a hawk. If he stepsout of line, it would break my heart,but shoot him in the fuckin' head.CUT TO:Vitti is trying to sell an $80,000 Audi to theMacINERNYS, an upscale middle-aged couple. Vitti opensthe trunk.VITTILook at the size of that trunk. Youcould fit three people in there.(off their shocked looks)Not people -- suitcases. It's a joke.The MacInernys laugh uncertainly.VITTISo what are you driving now?MR. MacINERNYWe have a Lexus.VITTI(nods)It's a fancy Toyota, right? The Japsmake good cars, but I ain't that quickto forget Pearl Harbor.The MacInernys look doubtful.CUT TO:A crowd of well-heeled New Yorkers surround Vitti at thecaptain's station. Vitti, the new host, greets a prominentsports figure who embraces him like an old friend.VITTI(signals the MAITRE D')Mario, put Mr. Torre at table five.JOEY BOOTS, an old acquaintance of Vitti's, enters with acouple of his cronies.EXT. PARK AVENUE AUDI DEALERSHIP - LATER
INT. MORETTI'S STEAK HOUSE - NIGHT49.JOEY BOOTSPaul, I heard you were out.VITTIHey, Joey.JOEY BOOTSAll dressed up for dinner, huh?VITTIYeah.The Maitre D' crosses away and waves at Vitti.MAITRE D'Paul, that table for six is ready.You can send them back.JOEY BOOTSYou're working here?VITTI(dying)Nah -- not really. It's like -- I'mon parole, so I just -- I come in, Igreet people.Joey and his friends nod condescendingly.JOEY BOOTSOkay. I get it. Nice seein' you,Paul. Don't want to hold you up. Yougot people to seat.Joey and his guys walk away, they turn back and glance atVitti, then whisper something in audible to each otherand laugh.Vitti burns, humiliated.CUT TO:Vitti poses for a picture with some notables.CUT TO:Vitti with some Broadway actors. CUT TO:FLASH PHOTOANOTHER PHOTOANOTHER PH0TO50.Vitti poses grimly with a BUSINESSMAN and his friends.BUSINESSMANThanks, Paul. Appreciate it.Vitti moves to leave.BUSINESSMANHey, could you get us a big bottle ofPellegrino and another round ofdrinks?He slips Vitti a couple of bills. Vitti stares at the moneyin his hand.BUSINESSMANAnd more bread when you get a chance.VITTIYou want more bread?He takes a small loaf from the breadbasket on the next table,stuffs it into the Businessman's mouth and walks off.VITTII'll get your drinks now.CUT TO:Two Hassidim are in the back of a 47th Street jewelry store,sorting through a huge pile of diamonds.Behind the display counter, Vitti stares at the diamonds,breathing hard, starting to perspire. His customers, athirty-ish YOUNG MAN and his FIANCEE, study the diamondengagement ring on her finger.YOUNG MANThis stone is supposed to be a 'G'color, but it looks kind of yellow,doesn't it?VITTI(distracted)Fluorescent light. Makes everythinglook yellow.He starts instinctively casing the store.QUICK CUT TO:INT. IMPERIAL DIAMONDS - DAY
ARMED SECURITY GUARDBACK TO FIANCEE51.FIANCEEI thought fluorescent light makeseverything look blue?CUT TO:bound and gagged.END FANTASY.VITTI(sweating)What am I -- Edison? I'm telling you,it's a 'G.'He glances at the surveillance cameras.YOUNG MANCan I look at it with a lens?CUT TO:the camera lens and clipping the alarm wires.END FANTASY.VITTI(completely distracted)What?FIANCEEA lens. Do you have a lens?CUT TO:in the back as it BLOWS UP.END FANTASY.Ben's cousin, approaches Vitti who is nowhyperventilating.FANTASY - SECURITY GUARDBACK TO VITTI
FANTASY - SPRAY-PAINTINGBACK TO VITTI
FANTASY - SAFEOWNER52.OWNERAre you all right?VITTII'm gonna do us both a big favor. Iquit.CUT BACK TO:The MacInernys are trembling.VITTIYou want to see the manager?(grabs his crotch)Here's the manager. Now take a hike,you fuckin' deadbeats.The MacInernys rush out of the showroom.VITTI(calls after them)Get a Hyundai!CUT TO:Vitti is on the sofa. He's wearing a shiny, silk, short-sleeved shirt with the sleeves turned up, tight, black chinopants and short, black, pointy-toed boots. His hair is oiledand coifed like early Frankie Avalon.VITTI(distraught)I can't deal with this shit. Mygrades suck, I'm gettin' in fightsevery day, and if I get suspendedagain my mother's gonna fuckin' killme -- if the nuns don't kill me first.is listening to Vitti, but dressed as Sigmund Freud.BEN(nodding)Eins, zwei, drei!VITTIWhat?VITTI'S MOTHER is sitting next to him.INT. CAR DEALERSHIP - DAY
DREAM SEQUENCE - INT. BEN'S OFFICE - NIGHT
BEN53.VITTI'S MOTHER(elbows him)Sit up straight! Pay attention whenthe doctor talks to you. This iscosting money.Ben (Freud) has a large TAXI METER TICKING away beside him.VITTIMa? What are you doin' here?BEN (FREUD)(snorts some cocaine)Acht gemacht gehunden nicht.VITTI'S MOTHERI tell him the same thing.Suddenly, the WINDOWS are SHATTERED by GUNFIRE.BLASTS open, flying off the hinges. Jelly enters, pushedinto the room by a gang of thugs, led by Patty LoPresti,Eddie DeVol and his guys, all at least ten-feet-tall and allholding huge guns.leaps to his feet and reaches for his gun, but instead pullsout a long sword. Confused but desperate, he holds up thesword to menace the intruders, but the sword suddenly goeslimp. He tries to make the blade stand up, but it just keepsdropping like a piece of soft rope.Patty, Eddie, and the thugs laugh contemptuously at Vitti,while Jelly looks on with an incredible stream of tearspouring from his eyes.END DREAM SEQUENCE.CUT TO:Vitti is back in bed in his robe, still asleep. The dooropens and Laura enters with an interior decorator who hasfabric samples over her arm.LAURANow in here, I thought we'd get rid ofthe wallpaper and maybe put in somewainscoting --She sees Vitti and quickly steers the decorator back outside.DOORVITTI
INT. GUEST ROOM - NEXT DAY54.LAURA(to decorator)Don't look, don't look.She comes back in, closes the bedroom door and confrontsVitti who is still groggy from his troubling dream.LAURADo you realize it's almost noon?VITTIReally? Do me a favor, honey -- makeme a sandwich.LAURAYou want a sandwich? Make ityourself. I'm not afraid of you, Mr.Oh-I'm-A-Great-Big-Mobster Man. Iwant you out of my house.LAURA (CONT'D)I've had it with the bathrobe and theskulking around and the girlfriendwho, I'm sorry, is so obviously fakingit's not even funny. Enough!VITTICoulda had that sandwich made by now.LAURA(tries new tack)Okay. You don't like me and I don'tlike you. We can at least agree onthat, right?VITTIOkay.LAURAI'm going to be honest with you -- I'ma very anxious person --VITTIHey! Me, too.LAURAWe have so much in common. Anyway,this is not helping me, it's nothelping my marriage, and I know Benreally needs some alone time. So I'masking you -- as a human being --could you please leave?(off Vitti's look)Yes, I'll make you a sandwich.55.VITTIHam, cheese, lettuce, tomato,mayonnaise, no onion.CUT TO:Jelly comes out the front door with Vitti's suitcases as Benpulls into the driveway. He gets out of the car holding asmall bag from the drugstore and sees Vitti coming out thefront door. Ben stops him on the porch.BEN(concerned)Where are you going?VITTIWhere am I going? The orphanage foundmy real parents. They want me back.(to Jelly)Put those in the car.(to Ben)I'm goin' to Jelly's.Jelly carries the luggage to his car parked in the driveway.BEN(to Vitti)The hell you are. You're supposed tobe in my custody. We have therapytoday.VITTIFor what? The more we talk the worseI get. I had that dream again.BENThe one where you're Mussolini?VITTINo, the other one.BENThe limp sword dream?JELLY(at car)I probably shouldn't be listening tothis.VITTISo don't!JELLYSorry.EXT. SOBEL FRONT PORCH - LATER56.BEN(to Vitti)Do you think this dream might besexual?VITTII know what you're thinkin'. Thesword is my cock and I can't get itup, but that ain't it. I saw Sheilalast night and I had a hard-on youcould swing from.BEN(winces)I don't want to know that.VITTIYou coulda hung wet towels on it.JELLY(calls out)He's like a racehorse in that area.BENOkay! I get it.VITTI(to Jelly)Wait in the car!(to Ben)So what does it mean?Ben sits on the wicker divan.BENSex can represent a lot of things. Inyour case I think it's aboutperformance anxiety. Trying to find ajob that fits.VITTIDoc -- nothing's gonna fit. Thatnine-to-five bullshit/nobreakspace-- I'll fuckin'kill myself if I have to do that forthe rest of my life. You know theytake taxes out of your check? Whatthe fuck is that? I'm doomed. I'mgonna end up selling hot dogs on thestreet.(starts breathing hard and sweating)Look at me. I'm havin' a fuckin'panic attack here. My heart's beatin'like a rabbit.BENYou're hyperventilating.57.He empties the drugstore bag and hands it to Vitti.BENBreathe into this.Vitti sits on a wicker chair.VITTI(speaks through bag)This is your fault.BENExcuse me?VITTITellin' me I have to get a job likeI'm some fuckin' nobody. It washumiliating! Thanks a lot.BEN(jumps up, in a total rage)Hey, I'm doing the best I can! If youcan't appreciate that, or if my bestisn't good enough for you, then maybeyou should find somebody else to talkto, you selfish prick!Ben breaks down and cries what amounts to one racking sob,then quickly pulls himself together.BENSorry.VITTIWhat the hell was that?BENI'm fine. I'm grieving. It's aprocess.Ben takes a pill bottle out of his pocket and pops a coupleof pills.VITTINow what are you takin'?BENEchinacea and goldenseal. Do you knowthe TV show 'Little Caesar'?VITTIYeah, I know it.BENThe producer of that show is a man58.named Raoul Berman. A mutual friendtold him I knew you and Mr. Bermancalled me this morning. He wants tomeet you.VITTIFor what?BENMeet him and find out.CUT TO:Ben and Laura walk up to a trendy Japanese restaurant inChelsea. Ben is really keyed up.LAURAWe finally got him out of the house --why are we having dinner with him? Imean, how professional is that?BENThis is not social. Paul's meeting atelevision producer who might have ajob for him. He's nervous and wantsme here as a buffer. I'm a buffer,that's all.LAURAHe's a grown man. I don't see why heneeds a chaperone.BENHe doesn't. He needs a buffer. I'mhere in buffer capacity only.LAURABen, if you say 'buffer' one more time--Ben pops a couple of pills.LAURADidn't you just take two of those?BENNo, that was something else.LAURAWell, you better not drink anything.You know what happens.BENLaura? I'm a doctor? I think I knowwhat I'm doing.EXT. NOGO RESTAURANT - NIGHT59.Ben opens the door and motions for Laura to enter.BEN(quietly, behind her back)Buffer.CUT TO:Cerrone and Miller watch the front of the restaurant.MILLER(into radio)They're all inside. We're going toget something to eat. We'll be backbefore they finish dinner.They drive off.CUT TO:Seated at a table are Ben and Laura, Vitti and Sheila, Jelly,and the producer RAOUL BERMAN and his uptight, downtownGIRLFRIEND. Jelly inspects a piece of raw octopus, whileRaoul gushes over a platter of sushi and sashimi.RAOULI adore this place. Best sushi intown. Have you tried the yellowtail,Paul?Raoul picks up a floppy piece of raw fish with hischopsticks.VITTI(makes a face)No. We gettin' any real food? Thisis like eatin' fuckin' bait.Raoul chuckles and glances uncomfortably at his girlfriend.Ben laughs loudly to cover the awkward moment. He'ssuffering from some reaction between the pills and the boozeand he's oddly thick-lipped.BENBait! That's funny. Honey, did youhear what Paul just said? He saidthis is like eating bait.LAURA(not amused)I heard him. And I think it was'effing bait.'INT. FBI CAR - SAME TIME
INT. NOGO RESTAURANT - LATER60.VITTIWhy you talkin' like that?BENLike what?VITTILike a fuckin' retard.BEN(pointing to his lower lip)Oh -- this? I took a couple ibuprofenbefore we got here -- I shouldn't havehad the saki. I'll be fine. It onlylasts a couple hours.(to Raoul)Rah-oo. Row. Rowl. I guess you needboth lips for that name. You knowwhat I love about Paul? Hewas born without a filter. Hesays exactly what he's thinking --just lays it right out there. Hedoesn't edit himself.VITTI(quietly)You wanna shut the fuck up?BENSee? He just told me to shut the fuckup. No filter. I love that.(to Raoul)Isn't he great?LAURA(aside to Ben)Too much buffering. Way too much.RAOUL(eyeing Ben oddly)Yes. Paul, I'm such a huge fan ofyours -- not a fan, but you know, anadmirer.VITTIDon't admire me too much.RAOULIs there any chance you might beinterested in working on 'LittleCaesar' as a consultant? Give ustechnical advice, coach the actors,make sure the dialogue rings true --61.BENWow. That would be incredible. Didyou hear that, Paul? Raoul wants toknow if you'd be interested in workingon his show as a consultant. Youknow, give technical advice, coach theactors --VITTI(quietly to Ben)In two seconds I'm gonna put a fork inyour eye.BEN(suddenly cowed)Got it.RAOULSo what do you think, Paul?VITTIYeah, sure, whatever.RAOULFantastic!SHEILAThis is so exciting. Mr. Berman, Ilove your show. Anthony Bella, theguy who plays Nicky Caesar -- I thinkhe grew up in Bensonhurst next door tomy cousin's friend's husband.VITTIThat's her claim to fame.(to Sheila)I hate to bust your bubble, but he'snot from Bensonhurst. He's aprofessional Italian. He grew up inConnecticut or something like that.SHEILAWell, wherever he's from, I think he'sa wonderful actor.JELLYYeah, I bet he gets a lot of pussy.Laura chokes on her drink.VITTIWhat's the matter with you? We gotwomen at the table.JELLYYou said 'fuckin'.'62.VITTIThat's different. It's colorful.BENHey, speaking of colorful -- thispeacock walks into a bar --LAURAOh, my god.(to a passing waiter, rising her half-empty drink)Could I get another one, please?BENAnd one for me.LAURANo. No more for the Buffer.She glares at Ben as the table descends into silence.VITTI(tries a desperate save)So. I see in the paper whereOklahoma! might win the Tony award.Vitti's eyes suddenly go wide.VITTI(shouts)Down!!!He grabs Sheila and pulls her down as GUNFIRE rakes the wallbehind them. Everybody else at the table hits the floor.Other diners scream in terror. Jelly pulls a GUN and SHOOTSback.runs from the restaurant. After a long beat, the frightenedpatrons start to get up and chatter nervously.Nobody's hurt. Vitti helps Sheila to her feet.BEN(to Vitti)What the hell was that?VITTII think somebody's got it in forRaoul.A LONE GUNMANBEN'S TABLE63.Raoul crawls up from behind the table.RAOUL(wide-eyed)Holy fucking shit.(grinning)That was phenomenal! CUT TO:Jelly stands in front of an apartment building parkinggarage. A guy comes walking up the ramp toward him. As hecomes nearer, we see that the guy is the Gunman from therestaurant.JELLYHey, pal -- got a light?The guy stops, pulls out a Zippo and lights it for Jelly.GUNMANWhere's your cigarette?JELLYI'm trying to cut down.The Gunman recognizes Jelly and desperately reaches for thegun in his pocket, but Jelly hauls off and whacks the guyacross the back of the head with a sap. As he slumps intoJelly's arms, Vitti steps out of a doorway and Jelly dragsthe gunman into the garage.CUT TO:Ben and Laura are getting ready for bed.LAURAI don't know why you feel you have tosave this man.BENIt's my job. He needs me.LAURASo that automatically means you haveto help him? You're always doing this-- putting other people's needs aheadof your own, like you're this martyror saint or something. It's likeliving with Mother Teresa.EXT. MIDTOWN STREET - LATER THAT NIGHT
INT. SOBEL HOUSE - SAME TIME64.BENActually, I hear she was tough to livewith. Lot of parties, loud music --lepers.LAURAYou don’t need this in yourlife -- especially not now. Youreally need to be grieving for yourfather.BENI am.LAURAReally? I haven't seen it.BENWell, you know, it's a process. Imean, we had issues -- there's someanger -- but I'll work it out.Laura goes to Ben and embraces him.LAURAIt's okay, honey. You can let it go.Ben almost starts to break, but he holds it back.BENNo, I'm -- it's okay.Ben sits heavily on the bed.BENIt's just a confusing time. I becamea therapist because he was atherapist, so obviously his approvalwas very important to me. But is thatthe only reason I did it? I don'tknow. And now that he's gone, why doI keep doing it? Is this what Ireally want?She sits next to him and takes his hand.LAURAI just want you to be happy.She kisses him.BENMaybe you're right.(kisses her)Maybe it's time I started focusing onme, and, you know, satisfying some of65.my desires.He looks at her expectantly.LAURA(apologetic)Oh, honey, I just brushed my teeth.BENNo, that's not what I meant. I justneed --(at a loss)I don't know what.She puts her arms around him and holds him.CUT TO:Vitti and Jelly stand with the Gunman on the roof of theparking garage, four stories above the ground. The guy'sarms are bound. Jelly ties a rope around his ankles.VITTII'm gonna ask you once nicely. Whoyou working for?GUNMANFuck you.VITTIFuck me? Fine. Jelly?Jelly shoves the guy to the parapet at the edge of the roof,grabs him by the legs and hangs him over the side of thebuilding. The guy screams.VITTII'll ask you again. Who you workingfor?The guy keeps screaming.JELLYHe's screamin' too loud. Hold on asecond.Jelly swings the guy against the building, hitting his headand dazing him momentarily.JELLYGo ahead.VITTIWho are you working for?EXT. ROOFTOP - LATER THAT NIGHT66.GUNMANNobody!VITTIDrop him, Jelly.GUNMANOkay! Okay! Rigazzi! I'm workingfor Rigazzi!VITTIPull him back up.Jelly drops the guy.The Gunman plunges three stories and lands heavily in adumpster full of garbage.VITTIWhat's the matter with you?JELLYYou said drop him.VITTII said pull him back up.JELLYThat's not what I heard.VITTIYou heard what you wanted to hear.JELLYOkay, you got me there.CUT TO:A "family" business in Jersey.CUT TO:The light from outside barely penetrates the painted windowsof the shabby office.LOU RIGAZZI, aka "Lou the Wrench," the aging boss of theRigazzi family, sits in the half-light as a couple of hissoldiers enter with the battered and hobbling Gunman betweenthem.RIGAZZIWhat the hell happened to you?EXT. RIGAZZI PLUMBING AND HEATING - NEXT MORNINGINT. BACK ROOM - NEXT MORNING67.GUNMANVitti threw me off a roof.RIGAZZIVitti? You talked to Vitti? What didyou say to him?GUNMANNothing. I didn't tell him anything.Mr. Rigazzi, can Igo -- I think my leg's broken.RIGAZZIThat must hurt.Rigazzi pulls out a GUN with a silencer and SHOOTS theGunman.RIGAZZII hate to see people in pain.(to soldiers)Get him out of here.SOLDIERWhat about Vitti?RIGAZZI(musing)He's a hard man to kill. But he's notimmortal. Our time will come.CUT TO:A big, family barbecue is going on in a back yard in Queens.Several children are splashing in an over-sized, above-groundswimming pool. Oddly, the children appear to be shouting andlaughing but make no sound.At the barbecue, Nicky Caesar is watching his friend MELLOturn Italian sausage on the grill.CAESARI like mine burnt.MELLOI don't know how you like yoursausage? Twenty fuckin' years we beendoin' this. So you got the money?The wind shifts and blows the smoke from the barbecue intheir faces.EXT. BACK-YARD SWIMMING POOL - DAY68.CAESAR(coughing, eyes watering)Not all of it. I'm still light aboutfifteen large.(blinded by smoke)Can we cut? This is ridiculous.RAOUL (O.S.)(shouts)Cut! Can you do something about thefucking smoke?We PULL BACK to reveal the set of "Little Caesar." Assistantdirectors and production assistants echo the director:"We're cut!" "Reset!" "Effects!"Vitti observes the action sitting in a director's chair,still brooding over the previous night's events. Raoul sitsnext to him.RAOUL(to Vitti)This is the problem with shooting onlocation. But it's worth it for theauthenticity.VITTIYeah, this is real authentic.RAOUL(calls out)Tony! Come here a second.(to Vitti)Anthony Bella. He plays Nicky Caesar.VITTII know who he is. They used to watchthe show up at Sing Sing.RAOUL(delighted)Are you shitting me?ANTHONY BELLA joins them.RAOULTony, this is Paul Vitti.TONY BELLA(Australian accent)You don't have to tell me who he is.(shakes Paul's hand)It's a pleasure, mate.69.VITTI(reacting to accent)Mate? I don't believe this! You'rean English guy? You ain't evenItalian.TONY BELLAAustralian-Italian. We got somepaisans down under.VITTIDown under what?RAOUL(to Tony Bella)How incredible is this? Paul tells methey watch the show in Sing Sing!TONY BELLAFantastic! That's so fuckin' great.VITTII wouldn't wet my pants over it. Theywatch 'Supermarket Sweep,' too.Raoul laughs hard.VITTIYou laugh too much.TONY BELLASo, Paul, you going to join us?Vitti looks around, his future plans now beginning to form.VITTIYeah. You got a good setup here.TONY BELLAGreat. See you later then.He exits. Vitti turns to Raoul.VITTICoupla things, though. I don't knowwho makes these decisions, but some ofthis, it don't look right.RAOUL(concerned)I sensed it myself. Which elementsstrike you as wrong?VITTIThe people mainly. I mean, you got aboss who speaks Australian. What thefuck is that? And I'm guessing your70.background is -- what?RAOULThe theater, mostly.VITTIYeah, the theater. So how about if Ibring in some guys that I know -- youknow, more 'authentic.'RAOULI would be eternally grateful.Anything else?VITTI(thinks)Yeah. One of those trailers like thestars have.RAOUL(slight hesitation)Done.(shakes his hand)I'll put that in the works right now.He hurries off to talk to his assistant. Jelly comes up toVitti.JELLYYou really gonna do this?VITTINo fuckin' way. I've had it with thisjob bullshit. A week of this and I'deither shoot myself or shoot Raoul.But it's good cover while I figure outmy next move. Call the guys.JELLYYou got it.CUT TO:Jelly and Vitti's old crew, MO-MO, BIGS, TUNA, EDDIE COKES,and eight or nine other wiseguys walk en masse into basecamp.Vitti's guys go to the front of the lunch line, forcing thecrew aside.A big, pop-out trailer labeled "Mr. Vitti," guarded by threeof his guys. Tuna brings a lunch tray and knocks on thedoor. Jelly opens the door and takes the tray.Vitti conferring with Raoul and Tony Bella on the script,MONTAGE71.ripping out whole sections.Vitti in the makeup trailer getting a haircut and manicurewhile he smokes a cigar and talks on his cell phone.Vitti with the costumer, approving and nixing variouswardrobe choices, while Jelly steals an expensive watch inthe b.g.Vitti in a massage chair getting a backrub from a masseuse.A PRODUCTION ASSISTANT approaches him.P.A. (PRODUCTION ASSISTANT)They're ready to start shooting, Mr.Vitti.VITTIYeah, ten minutes, tell 'em.Eddie Devol, Patty LoPresti's guy, watches Vitti from a safedistance.CUT TO:Ben comes out of the market carrying several grocery bags anda small prescription bag. Two Mafia SOLDIERS step up besidehim and urge him toward a big stretch LIMO IDLING at thecurb.SOLDIERWalk this way.BENThere must be some mistake. I didn'torder a limo.SOLDIERGet in the car.CUT TO:Ben enters timorously, still carrying his groceries.Patty LoPresti, Masiello and a couple of other heavyweightsare sitting at the table, all except Patti smoking cigars.Ben immediately recognizes their status and grasps thegravity of their mood.BEN(nervous, but trying to keep it light)Hello. I'm Ben Sobel. And you are --?EXT. SHOPPING MALL - DAY
INT. KNIGHTS OF PALERMO - LATER72.The Soldier sits Ben down. The other soldier takes hisgroceries. Ben looks at Patty, trying to gauge her role.MASIELLOYou're the shrink who's taking care ofPaul Vitti?BENYes, sir. That's right.(to guy with groceries)Could you be careful, because I thinkthey put the eggs on the bottom.He drops the bags heavily onto the bar.MASIELLOSo? Is he nuts or what?BENWho?MASIELLOPaulie. Is he nuts?BENI can't discuss a patient's case withanyone --MASIELLODiscuss it.BENI'd say he's still suffering fromchronic anxiety and --He hesitates.MASIELLOAnd what.BENWe call it Antisocial PersonalityDisorder. Sociopathy.MASIELLOMeaning what?BEN(very carefully)Meaning -- he -- fails to conform tosocietal norms with respect to --lawful behavior.MASIELLOI'm getting a fuckin' headache here.73.What are you saying?BENHe's got a -- criminal temperament.MASIELLO(stares at him)He's a criminal? This is news? Andfor that you need a doctordegree? So what are you doin' withhim?BENWell, I'm trying to at least show himthe possibility of change --PATTYWrong. You do not want him to change.Ben looks at her, sensing her command of the group.BENWe haven't really beenintroduced --MASIELLOThis is Mrs. LoPresti.PATTYPatty.BENBen Sobel.Ben offers his hand but she ignores it.PATTYBen, Paul Vitti is important to thisfamily. We don't want to see you turnhim into a stromboni.BENA stromboni? That thing they cleanthe ice with at hockey games?MASIELLOThat's a Zamboni, asshole. Stromboni.PATTYIt's a bull with his balls cut off.She reaches under the table and grabs Ben's balls. He wincesin pain.BEN(squeezed)No, we don't want to do that.74.PATTYNot unless you want to be one, too.BEN(in pain)Me? No. I'm very attached to myballs. As you can probably tell.PATTY(lets go)Then do the right thing, understand?BEN(greatly relieved)Yes, I understand completely. May Igo now? I have perishables --He takes his groceries and edges away.CUT TO:Vitti is sitting at a table with Jelly and some of his mainguys. From a distance it looks like they're playing cards.Up close it's a different story.VITTIWe're gonna need a grapple or a cranewith maybe a fifty-foot boom.MO-MOI seen one -- in Bayonne -- but I'llcall around.VITTISee what you can come up with. Andwe're gonna need a city bus.JELLYI got a guy in the Transit Authority.He owes me. Just let me know when.PATTY (O.S.)Paul! Hello!Vitti turns to see Patty, Eddie Devol and his men headingacross the set.PATTYI guess everybody's gone Hollywood,huh?VITTIHow you doin', Patty.INT. "LITTLE CAESAR" SET - DAY75.PATTYJelly -- you're working here, too?JELLYI'm an extra.PATTYAn extra what?JELLYA supernumerary. An 'atmosphere.' Itain't bad. You just stand around allday waitin' for them to shoot and theypay you eighty bucks.PATTYEighty bucks? For standin' around allday? You used to sneeze eighty bucks.How much you make shootin' craps?JELLYToday? About eight hundred maybe.PATTYAnd how about bookin' bets for theTeamsters and the crew?JELLYAnother grand. One of the producersreally likes the ponies.PATTYSo eighteen hundred bucks.JELLYPlus eighty --PATTYI know -- extra.They all laugh.An ASSISTANT DIRECTOR approaches the group.ASSISTANT DIRECTORThis is a closed set. We're about tostart shooting.EDDIEYeah? So am I.Eddie grabs the Assistant Director and walks him away.CUT TO:EXT. "LITTLE CAESAR" BASE CAMP - SAME TIME76.The trucks and trailers are arranged on a parking lot. A carpulls up and Lou Rigazzi gets out with his bodyguards.DRIVERShould I wait here, Mr. Rigazzi?RIGAZZINo, pull the car up your ass and waitthere.CUT TO:Patty takes Vitti's arm and walks with him.PATTYI heard you had some more trouble.VITTIOne of Rigazzi's guys took a shot atme.She stops at the extras' makeup table and starts primping inthe mirror.PATTYI don't have to tell you, Paul. Aloneon the street you don't stand achance. That's what the family's allabout. Since the old days, when thegrandfathers first came over. That'snot something you just walk away from.VITTIYeah, I know. When you're a Jet,you're a Jet all the way.PATTYSo you want to tell me what's going onhere? It looks like you got yourwhole crew back together.VITTINothing's going on. They're actors.PATTYDon't bullshit me, Paul. You'replanning something. I'm feeling veryleft out.VITTI(quietly)Okay. Something big is going down,but you're getting a cut. My hand toGod.EXT. SET - SAME TIME77.PATTYYou're a good friend, Paul. And Iwould never think of insisting onthis, but I'd feel better if youbrought in Eddie and some of my guysto help with the job.VITTII don't think so.PATTYThen I'll have to insist.VITTIWhatever.Raoul approaches and eyes Patty disdainfully.RAOULOh, dear God. First of all,sweetheart, we're not shooting thehooker scene until tomorrow. And thehair -- please, what is that?PATTYExcuse me?VITTIRaoul, this is a friend of mine.Patty LoPresti.Raoul freezes, recognizing the name.RAOULMrs. LoPresti -- I am so very, veryRaoul wheels on a production assistant who happens to bepassing by.RAOULHow dare you not inform me Mrs.LoPresti was on the set. You'refired!(to Patty)Enjoy your visit with us. If there'sanything I can do --PATTYGo fuck yourself.RAOULImmediately.Raoul moves away quickly. Patty turns back to Vitti.PATTYIt's good to have you back, Paul.78.(kisses Vitti on the cheek)We'll be in touch.She exits.CUT TO:As Patty and her men walk away down one aisle of trucks andcampers, Rigazzi and his men walk down the next aisle headingfor the set.They narrowly miss seeing each other.CUT TO:Ben arrives looking for Vitti. He sees Patty approaching andfreezes, then quickly ducks behind a nearby truck, shieldinghis crotch. Patty and her men pass by. Ben waits until theypass, then comes out of hiding and hurries on.CUT TO:A mildly-distraught Raoul is huddled with Vitti.RAOULI mean, tell me -- was she angry? AmI in any danger?VITTINo, you're fine. But you might wantto have somebody else start your carthe next couple of weeks.RAOULI'll have Brian do it. He's new.Rigazzi and his men join them.RIGAZZI(to Vitti)Could I talk to you for a second?RAOUL(eyeing Rigazzi)Oh, what is this now, the bus andtruck tour of Guys and Dolls?VITTIThis is Lou Rigazzi.EXT. PARKING LOT - MOMENTS LATER
EXT. BASE CAMP - MOMENTS LATEREXT. BACK-YARD SET - SAME TIME79.Raoul freezes.RAOUL(a horrified whisper)'The Wrench.'RAOUL (CONT'D)(taking Rigazzi's hand)Please, forgive me. I'm onpainkillers -- half the time I don'tknow what I'm saying.Raoul kisses Rigazzi's hand. Rigazzi yanks it away.RIGAZZIGet lost.RAOULCertainly.(as he exits)Brian! Get my car!RIGAZZI(to Vitti)I need a couple minutes.VITTI(nodding)This way.CUT TO:Vitti and Rigazzi stand at the table. Rigazzi's soldiers arenearby.RIGAZZIThe guy who shot at you -- he wasacting on his own. I never gave anorder.VITTIIs that right?RIGAZZIAnd he's been taken care of. Therewon't be another incident. Unlessyou're thinkin' of workin' for PattyLoPresti.VITTIMe? No.RIGAZZIGood. Then I got no beef with you.EXT. CRAFT SERVICES TABLE - MOMENTS LATER80.VITTIThanks. I'll sleep much better.RIGAZZIBecause that would not be the way togo. You want to back a winner, whichis gonna be me. It only makes sense.You come work for us. I'll treat youright.VITTII don't think so.RIGAZZI(a beat)Well, so much for sleeping better.Rigazzi smiles and pats Vitti's cheek, then exits with hissoldiers.CUT TO:Ben walks in and sees Vitti's guys sitting around.JELLYHey, Dr. Sobel?BENJelly, hi.(recognizing some of the others)Hey! Yo-Yo!JELLYIt's Mo-Mo.BENRight. I was thinking of the cellist.How's it going?MO-MOGoin' good. I did a 'Law and Order'last week, I had a line on 'Sex andthe City' --TUNAI'm up for a recurring on 'NYPD Blue.'BENThat's great. Have you seen Paul?JELLYYeah, I think he's in his camper.INT. EXTRAS HOLDING TENT - SAME TIME81.BENHis camper.CUT TO:There's a loud KNOCK on the door and Ben storms in.VITTI(surprised to see him)Hey, Doc. What are you doing here?BENNo, what are you doing here? I cameto tell you we have a preliminarymeeting with your parole officer andwho do I run into? Patty LoPresti.VITTIPatty who?BENWhat is this -- a knock-knock joke?Patty-who-kidnapped-me-and-threatened-to-cut-off-my-balls. Stop lying tome, Paul. Your whole gang is here.VITTIWho says I'm lying? I finally get astraight job and start putting my lifein order and you come in here andstart accusing me! That's how muchyou trust me?BEN(off balance)It's not that I don't trust you, Ijust don't -- trust you. Are youlying to me? Because I know you,Paul. You'll say or do anything toget your own way.VITTIThis is what's so hard about being anex-con. You make one little mistakein your life and people never let youforget it.BENOh, so now you're the victim? I wantthe truth.VITTIWait a second. Say that again.INT. VITTI'S TRAILER - MOMENTS LATER82.BENSay what?VITTI'I want the truth.' Say it -- likeyou did just now.BENI want the truth?VITTINo, strong, like before.BEN(forceful)I want the truth!VITTIYeah, that's good!BENPaul --VITTINo, I'm serious. That had power. Ibelieved it. You could be an actor.BENI'm not an actor --VITTIHey, you're as good as most of thebums I see around here. They havethis part. You could do it.BENActually, I did The Music Man in tenthgrade.VITTIOf course. I'm gonna talk to Raoul.BENAbout being on the show? I couldn't --VITTINo, this part you could do. It'sperfect. Believe me.CUT TO:The camera rolls.EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY (LATER)83.ASSISTANT DIRECTORWe're rolling.SOUNDMANSound speed.RAOUL(shouts)Action!Jelly and Tony Bella drag Ben kicking and screaming to theedge of the roof and hang him over the edge.On the ground, Raoul and Vitti look up, watching the action.RAOUL(doubtful)Does that screaming sound real to you?VITTIOh, yeah. That sounds real.CUT TO:Ben drives, pissed off. Vitti chuckles to himself.BENIt's not funny! There was no safetyharness or anything. They could havedropped me.VITTIHey, if you didn't want to do it, whydidn't you say something?BENI know exactly what that was about.You resent the fact that you've beenput in my custody, so you passive-aggressively arranged things to makeme look like a fool.VITTICome on -- you were great.BEN(turning on a dime)Really? I was scared at first, but onthe second take, I think I found somegood stuff. I was able to texture thescreaming --ON ROOFTOP
INT. BEN'S CAR - LATER84.Vitti is laughing.BENOh, screw you, Paul. Just screw you.He pops two pills.VITTIWhat, are you self-medicating again?And don't give that decongestantmulti-vitamin bullshit.BENDon't worry about me. Just worryabout what you're going to say to thisparole officer. What are you going tosay? That you've moved out of myhouse. That you've got your old gangback together. For what, a highschool drop-out reunion?VITTII'm gonna say that's none of hisfuckin' business.BENIt's my business. I want to know.I'm a federal institution.VITTI(checks side- view mirror)You recognize that car?BENWhich car?VITTIThe one that's been following us thelast mile and a half.Ben jerks his head around to look and sees a black Mercedesbehind him.VITTILose 'em.BENWhat do you mean, 'lose 'em'?Vitti stomps his foot down on Ben's, flooring theaccelerator.CUT TO:EXT. HOBOKEN STREET - CONTINUOUS ACTION85.Ben's car speeds up suddenly. The black Mercedes behind himspeeds up, too, as does a third car that has joined thechase.CUT BACK TO:Ben is on the edge of panic.BENMaybe I should just pull over. Itcould be the F.B.I.VITTINo, they're two cars back. You gottabe a little more observant, Doc. Turnleft.Ben executes a hard, SKIDDING left. The Benz stays rightwith him.BENWhat if we just stop and get out?They're not going to shoot us in broaddaylight.VITTIBroad daylight's the best time. Youcan see better. Take a right. Now!Pedestrians scatter as Ben makes a sudden turn into a bankdrive-thru. He over-steers and wipes out an ATM machine,sending up a cloud of bills that flutter down like confetti.BENSorry!follows right behind him, then the bystanders run to pick upthe cash, blocking the drive-thru, forcing Miller in the FBIcar to stop.CUT BACK TO:Two police officers are parked at the curb. They hear a HORNHONKING, and turn just as Ben's car comes flying past them.The cops start to pull out but stop short as the Benz blowsINT. BEN'S CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION
EXT. HOBOKEN STREET - CONTINUOUS ACTIONINT. CARMERCEDESEXT. HOBOKEN STREET - MOMENTS LATER86.by, swerving to avoid hitting them. The cops take off in hotpursuit.CUT TO:BEN(frantic)We can't do this, Paul! We have tostop! This is a lease!GUNFIRE SHATTERS the rear WINDOW of the car.BEN(shouting back at the Mercedes)It's a goddamn lease!VITTI(looks back)Move over. I'll drive.BENMove over? Where?Vitti puts his left foot on the gas pedal and his left handon the wheel.VITTIBackseat. Now!Ben tries to launch himself into the backseat but is stoppedby his seat belt.BENSeat belt.He releases the belt, then twists and crawls over the top ofthe driver's seat into the back, while Vitti slides into thedriver's seat.CUT TO:Ben's car races past an industrial area with the Mercedesright on its tail.CUT TO:Ben's car bounces over some railroad tracks and sails into awarehouse complex on the river with the Mercedes still only afew car lengths behind.INT. BEN'S CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION
EXT. PARKWAY - MOMENTS LATEREXT. INDUSTRIAL PARK - MOMENTS LATER87.CUT TO:Vitti drives down the narrow lane between two big warehouses.VITTI(determined)Hang on.BENIt's gonna get worse?CUT TO:Vitti rockets out from between buildings and races through aparking lot toward the river with the Benz on his tail.CUT BACK TO:BENThey're right behind us!(shouts at them)Get away!He starts whipping things out the shattered back window/nobreakspace-- atennis racket, sneakers, an empty Macy's box.CUT TO:is crushed under the Mercedes' wheels.CUT BACK TO:Ben picks up the only thing left -- the New York Times. Hestarts leafing through it.VITTIWhat the fuck are you doing?BENI wanted to save the crossword.VITTIThrow it!Bent throws the paper out the window.INT. BEN'S CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION
EXT. PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS ACTIONINT. BEN'S CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION
INSERT - TENNIS RACKETINT. BEN'S CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION88.CUT TO:The Times hits the windshield and one double-page sticks,totally OBSCURING the driver's VIEW.Vitti throws a 180, SKIDDING to a stop just inches from theriver's edge. The Benz, with the newspaper covering thewindshield, sails past them and right off the embankment. Itseems to hang in the air for a long time, then lands with abig splash and starts to sink almost immediately.They jump out of the car and watch the Mercedes disappearunder the water.BEN(aghast)You think they'll get out?VITTIYeah, that's James Bond and the 'SeaHunt' guy in there, so they got apretty good shot.They hear POLICE SIRENS APPROACHING. Vitti starts walkingaway quickly. Ben follows after him.BENWhere're you going?VITTII gotta take care of something.BENBut your parole officer --VITTISend my regrets.BENI'm warning you. If you leave now/nobreakspace--VITTISo long, Doc.Vitti takes off running, ducking behind the rows of parkedcars.BENZ DRIVER'S POVEXT. PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS ACTIONBEN AND VITTI89.BEN(calling after him)That's it! I'm finished! You're onyour own now, pal! I'm --POLICE CARS and the FBI CAR SCREECH into the parking lot andsurround Ben.BEN(quietly)-- screwed.CUT TO:Police divers search for the sunken Mercedes in the middle ofthe channel.On shore, Ben leans against a government car looking tiredand distraught while Chapin berates him.CHAPINWhere is he, Dr. Sobel?BENI wish I knew.CHAPINWell, considering that he's in yourcustody, that's not quite the answer Iwas looking for. He's got somethingbig in the works. You want to tell mewhat you know?BENI don't know anything. As far as Ican tell, he's making a real effort togo straight.CHAPINYeah, that's why I've got two corpsesat the bottom of the river.He reaches through the open car window into his briefcase andpulls out a file of photographs.CHAPINHere. Vitti with Sal Masiello. Vittiwith Patty LoPresti. Vitti with LouRigazzi. Let me know -- I can ordersome wallet size for you. I've gotmore than enough to put him away againwithout these. Violation of parole,second-degree murder here. When Ireally start digging, it'll be amazingEXT. RIVERBANK - LATER90.what I come up with. You have twenty-four hours to find him and deliver himto me. Otherwise you're looking atobstruction of justice, and accessoryto felony manslaughter. And trust me,Dr. Sobel, if you don't like me now,you really don't want to see me incourt.BENI'm getting that. Can I go now?He starts for his car.CHAPINYou can't take your car. We'reimpounding it as evidence.BEN(exasperated)Then can somebody give me a ride home?CHAPINYeah, the government runs a limousineservice. The number is 1-800-FuckOff.Chapin walks away.CUT TO:Vitti is hurriedly collecting his stuff, talking to Jelly anda few of his old gang.VITTII don't have a lot of time. They'reprobably gonna come lookin' for me, sowe'll go over everything later, okay?JELLYPaul, not that I'm questioning, butwhat do we want with Eddie DeVol?Guy's a fuckin' scumbag.VITTILook, I'm not happy about it, but ifit keeps Patty off my back, so be it.They're meeting us at the club. Let'shead out.(as they all get up)Not all at once. I gotta tell youeverything?A PRODUCTION ASSISTANT KNOCKS and sticks her head in thedoor.INT. VITTI'S TRAILER - DAY91.P.A.Mr. Vitti? Mr. Bella asked if youcould meet him in the makeup trailer.VITTINo, I gotta go.P.A.He said it was important.VITTI(annoyed)I'll talk to him tomorrow.He hands the P.A. some money.VITTIHere -- tell him you couldn't find me.Vitti exits. The P.A. looks at the money.CUT TO:Vitti makes his way past the trailers, heading for his car.As he passes the makeup trailer, the door opens and TonyBella sticks his head out.TONY BELLAPaul! Excellent!VITTICan't really talk right now, mate.Headin' out.TONY BELLATwo seconds. Please, Paul. It'sreally important.Vitti looks pissed.CUT TO:Vitti watches impatiently while the makeup artist touches upTony Bella.TONY BELLA(script in hand)I'm looking for something to do whenmy character finds out he's beingindicted. I was thinking of punchingthe wall, but I did that when theykilled Uncle Lenny, and I did it againEXT. MAKEUP TRAILER - LATER
INT. MAKEUP TRAILER - MOMENTS LATER92.when Franny left me. Oh, and Ipunched a car, a van actually, whenPeezee screwed up the big drug deal.So I'd like to find somethingdifferent, that doesn't involve, youknow, punching anything.VITTITry kickin' something. Let me knowhow it works out.Vitti starts for the door.TONY BELLAWait, Paul. That's interesting. Likewhat?VITTI(impatient)I don't know. You could kick a guy inthe face.TONY BELLAWho?VITTI(irritated)Just some guy! You knock him down,give him a couple quick kicks in thehead while he's on the ground.TONY BELLAWhy?VITTIWhy not? Because he's there andyou're pissed off.TONY BELLAYou've done that?VITTIMaybe once or twice. Look, I gotpeople waiting.TONY BELLA(thinks about it, decides not)My character wouldn't do that. Whatelse?VITTI(at a loss, getting angrier)I don't know. You could yell realloud?93.TONY BELLAYell real loud? That's original.VITTI(pops)Or keep your fuckin' mouth shut! Whogives a shit what you do, for cryin'out loud?Tony Bella likes something about Vitti's inflection.TONY BELLA(imitates him)Who gives a shit what you do, forcryin' out loud?VITTIWhat are you doin'?TONY BELLAWhat are you doin'?VITTI(irritated)Okay, you can cut that shit out rightnow.TONY BELLAOkay, you can cut that shit out rightnow.VITTI(menacing)Hey, I'm serious, asshole!TONY BELLAHey, I'm serious, asshole!CUT TO:The door flies open and Tony Bella comes flying out of thetrailer backwards, hitting the pavement hard. Vitti chargesout of the trailer and storms away. Tony wipes blood fromunder his nose.TONY BELLAThat was good. My character could dothat.CUT TO:A cab pulls up to the house, and Ben gets out.EXT. MAKEUP TRAILER - MOMENT LATER
EXT. SOBEL HOUSE - LATER94.He walks up the driveway and sees Jelly's car parked at theback door and a big man in a dark suit and tie wiping thewindshield.BEN(irritated)Jelly! Where's Paul?The guy in the suit turns. It's Michael.BENMichael? What are you doing?MICHAELWorking.BEN(pleasantly surprised)You got a job? That's great. Lookhow handsome you look in that suit.What's the job?MICHAEL(reluctantly)I'm working for Mr. Vitti. I'm hisdriver.BENOh, no, you're not!MICHAELYou keep telling me to get a job!BENI meant making sandwiches at theSubway, not driving a getaway car!MICHAELHe's paying me twenty dollars an hour.BENI don't care if he pays you twohundred an hour, you're not doing it.MICHAELDad --BENHe had no right to ask you without mypermission. Where is he?MICHAELI can't tell you.BENWhat do you mean you can't tell me?95.MICHAELI promised I'd never repeat anything Iheard in the car. I took an oath.BENYou took an oath! Oh, my God! Wasthere blood involved?MICHAELDad, I gave my word.Laura comes out of the house.LAURABen? Where've you been? Whathappened to you?BEN(minimizing)I was in a car chase. There was alittle shooting -- not that muchreally -- then they -- drove into theriver. It wasn't as bad as it sounds.LAURAWhen is this going to end?BENTonight, I hope. I just have to findhim and --LAURAWhy? A few days ago you weren't evensure you still wanted to be atherapist. Now you're going to riskyour life again for that lout.BENYeah, but he's an amazing lout, isn'the? I can't quit now. You know that.LAURA(relents)Go. Just don't get shot/nobreakspace-- please?BENI love you.They kiss. Then Ben turns to Michael.BENAll right, where is he?MICHAELI can't.96.LAURA(pops)You tell your father right now or I'llgive you such a smack it won't even befunny!MICHAEL(surprised)Okay! I dropped him at the club.BENWhat club?MICHAELLittle Darling's in Queens.BENOkay, Mafiaboy, give me your car keys.MICHAELI'm grounded?BENNo, I'm borrowing your car.He kisses Laura again and takes off.CUT TO:Several limos are parked outside a family-owned nightclub inQueens.Ben pulls up, leaning way back in the driver's seat ofMichael's, half-painted, modified '82 Honda Civic with theBUBBLING MUFFLERS.CUT TO:Ben takes out a bottle of pills. He tries to remove thechild-safety cap but his hands are shaking so badly he can'tdo it. Frustrated, he tries to bite the cap off, then givesup and throws the bottle away.CUT TO:Ben enters the club.A moment later, Cerrone and Miller cruise by in an unmarkedcar and park at the end of the block.EXT. LITTLE DARLING'S - LATER THAT NIGHT
INT. CIVIC - CONTINUOUS ACTIONEXT. LITTLE DARLING'S - SAME TIME97.CUT TO:Ben enters the nightclub and starts moving through the crowd,looking for Vitti.He pushes through and sees Jelly and a few of the guyswatching an exotic dancer, a beautiful young blonde in askimpy costume, standing on a platform grinding in mockecstasy.BENJelly!JELLY(yelling over music)Hey, Doc. What are you doin' here?BENWhere's Paul?Jelly tucks a few bills into her G-string. She looks at Benand winks suggestively.JELLYI think she likes you, Doc. Give hera couple of bucks.Ben reluctantly digs in his pocket and holds out a bill tothe stripper.BENCan you break a twenty?The stripper sensuously fingers the top of her G-string, andBen gingerly sticks the twenty in it.BENDo I just make my own change?He tentatively reaches for some smaller bills in her G-stringbut she dances away.BEN(calls to her)A ten and five ones -- when you havethe chance.He turns around to talk to Jelly, but he's already gone.Ben finds Jelly at a table with Vitti.BENOkay, Paul, what's going on?INT. CLUB ENTRANCE - MOMENT LATER98.VITTI(keyed up)What are you doing here?BENI could ask you the same thing.VITTIWhat's it look like? We're justblowin' off a little steam. What'sthe big deal?Eddie DeVol enters, flanked by his main guys, AL PACINO andENORMOUS BOBBY.EDDIEHow's it goin', Paulie? You know myguys -- Enormous Bobby and Al Pacino?VITTI(looks at him)Al Pacino? That's your real name?AL PACINONo. People call me that because Ilook like Al Pacino.(beat)The actor.VITTIAnybody ever call you Carol Burnett?AL PACINONo. Why?VITTI'Cause you look about as much likeCarol Burnett as you look like AlPacino.Ben laughs. Al Pacino glares at him.BENI do see a little Pacino there --around the eyes.EDDIESo we're all here. Let's do it.He heads for the back of the club with his guys. Vitti andJelly start to follow.BEN(stops Vitti)Let's do what?99.VITTIYou better get out of here.BEN(lays a hand on his arm)I'm not going until you tell me what'sgoing on here.Vitti violently shakes off Ben's hand.VITTI(menacing)Don't make me hurt you. Get the fuckout of here.He walks away leaving Ben frozen.Ben watches as they disappear through a door leading to theback of the club. He starts toward the door.CUT TO:Vitti is seated at a big table in the crowded, smoke-filledroom. Jelly sits at his side. He's surrounded by his crew,about a half-a-dozen guys, and Patty's man, Eddie DeVol.Several street maps and diagrams are spread out on the table.VITTIOkay, this is big and we only get oneshot at it; and there's only about amillion ways this fuckin' thing can gobad, so listen up.Vitti pulls a street map to the center of the table and tapsa spot downtown.VITTIThe Federal Gold Depository in LowerManhattan. Three times a year ashipment of gold bars goes in aheavily-guarded armored truck from theDepository to the vault at the FederalReserve to hold for foreigngovernments that trade in bullion. Atthree o'clock in the morning -- eighthours from now --we're gonna hijackthat truck.CUT TO:Ben enters the back room of the club, looks around, andstarts down the stairwell leading to the basement.INT. BASEMENT ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
INT. LITTLE DARLING'S - SAME TIME100.CUT TO:Ben makes his way down the cramped, dimly-lit stairway andapproaches the door to the basement room.He raises his hand to knock, then hesitates and stands therefor a moment listening to the MUFFLED VOICES inside.Suddenly he is grabbed from behind and slammed up against thedoor by Enormous Bobby. Bobby slams him against the door acouple of more times, using Ben's head as a doorknocker. Thedoor is opened by someone inside and Enormous Bobby shovesBen into the room.CUT TO:Ben hits the floor to a chorus of surprised reactions fromthe guys. Enormous Bobby pulls Ben off the floor by hislapels.EDDIEWhat the fuck is this?ENORMOUS BOBBYI found this guy listening at thedoor.BEN(dazed)Hey, guys. How's it going?EDDIEWho is this guy?BEN(not looking at Eddie)Ben Sobel. Sorry, I can't move myhead to the right. Boy, I hope that'snot permanent.EDDIEGet rid of him.Al Pacino puts his gun to Ben's head.BEN(still dazed)Hi, Carol.AL PACINOYou're a dead man, asshole. Let's go.INT. BASEMENT STAIRWAY - MOMENTS LATER
INT. BASEMENT ROOM - CONTINUOUS ACTION101.He starts muscling Ben to the door.VITTIWhat are you doing?EDDIEWhat do you think? He can make everyguy in this room.BENOh, I'm not into that, fellas.VITTIGet your fuckin' hands off him! He'swith me.EDDIEWhat, on the job?Vitti hesitates.EDDIE(impatiently)Either he's in, or he's dead. Whichis it?BENI think in is better.VITTI(reluctantly)He's in. He's my responsibility.EDDIE(to Vitti)Okay, no more surprises. And fromthis moment on, no one leaves mysight. Got it? Now go through it onemore time.VITTIOkay -- everybody listen up.BENWait!(sits)Okay. Go ahead.CUT TO:Agents Cerrone and Miller watch the front of the club fromtheir car parked across the street.EXT. LITTLE DARLING'S - LATER THAT NIGHT102.CERRONE(yawns, checks watch)I wonder what it costs to keep thatmany limos waiting for three-and-a-half hours.A dozen men looking like Vitti and his crew come out of theclub and get into the limos.MILLER (O.S.)Everybody stand by. They're leaving.The limos drive off.At the corner, the FBI car pulls out and follows at adiscreet distance.CUT TO:The FBI car follows the limos across the bridge intoManhattan.CUT TO:The limos pull up at the WWF Restaurant. The FBI car stopsup the block.CERRONE (V.O.)(over radio)312, all units. W.W.F. Restaurant.Times Square.The limo doors open and the passengers get out -- allnondescript nobodies.CUT TO:Miller watches intently.MILLERWhere's Vitti? I don't see Vitti.Cerrone stares with the growing awareness that they've beenhad.CERRONEDamn it!THEIR POV
EXT. QUEENSBOROUGH BRIDGE - NIGHTEXT. TIMES SQUARE - LATER
INT. FBI CAR - SAME TIME103.(grimly, into radio)Call it off. We lost them.CUT TO:Vitti's guys are dressed like construction workers as theyload their gear into two trucks. Vitti supervises whileothers work on a New York City bus.Eddie DeVol, Al Pacino and Enormous Bobby stand guard overthe whole scene, in case anyone is thinking of defecting.Ben is wearing heavy dungarees and an oversized plaid shirt,struggling to lace his work boots. Jelly approaches him andtosses a bulletproof vest on the table.JELLYHere. See if this'll fit under yourshirt.BEN(extremely nervous)I could fit you under my shirt. Don'tthey have anything smaller?JELLYThis ain't Bloomingdale's. Nobodyknew you were comin'. You're luckyyou're alive, Doc.He glances at Eddie DeVol.BEN(hisses)Nobody's going to be alive when thisis over. What kind of plan is this?It's crazy. It's stupid!JELLYWatch it. It may be crazy but itain't stupid. If you want to stayalive, just keep your mouth shut, doeverything I tell you and try not topee in your pants.(quietly)Can you handle an M-16?He holds up an automatic rifle.BENYou mean shoot it?JELLYNo, I mean twirl it like a fuckin'baton. How about an A.K.?INT. MANHATTAN WAREHOUSE - MIDDLE OF NIGHT104.He holds up another rifle.BEN(exasperated)Jelly --JELLY(rummaging through pile)Kalashnikov, MAC-10, Uzi -- stop me ifI hit one you like.Ben sees Eddie watching him and gingerly picks up a 9mmhandgun.BENCouldn't I just take this?JELLYYeah, that's a good one. That gunbrings back a lot of fond memories.Use it in good health.Ben puts the gun into the waistband of his dungarees, but itslips through and drops into his pants.BEN(winces)Ooh, cold -- cold.He jams his hand down the front of his pants and startssearching around in there. Eddie and Enormous Bobby stare athim as they walk by.BEN(explaining)My gun -- fell down in my --He shakes his leg and the gun drops out of his cuff andclatters onto the floor. He smiles weakly and picks it up.Vitti approaches. He looks agitated but under tight control.VITTI(to Jelly)Check the bus.Jelly exits.VITTI(quietly, to Ben)If we can, I'm gonna get you outbefore the real shit goes down. Justdon't flip out on me, okay?105.BENYou are making a huge mistake. Youknow that, don't you?VITTIYou said it yourself. It's my nature.BENIt's not your nature! You have achoice.VITTIWhat are you, fucking Jiminy Cricket?I don't know what planet you live on,but here on Earth it's 'might makesright.' Read the papers. The guyswith the guns make the rules.BEN(holding up the pistol)So I guess that makes me a real mannow. What happened to the white hat,Paul? Your father wasn't wrong. Youcould be one of the good guys.VITTIEnough. Say one more word about myfather and I'll break your fuckin'head.BEN(quietly)Okay.Vitti walks off.CUT TO:Vitti comes in, locks the door and has a full-blown panicattack -- gasping for breath, sweating, whimpering, trying tostifle his panic. Then he sees his tortured face in themirror and starts pulling himself together.CUT TO:The guys are getting into the trucks. Ben keeps lettingeverybody go in front of him, then starts to back away, butEddie and Enormous Bobby come up behind him and push him upinto the truck.INT. BATHROOM - SAME TIMEINT. WAREHOUSE - FEW MINUTES LATEREXT. MANHATTAN WAREHOUSE - NIGHT106.The big doors open and two trucks roll out carrying Vitti,Ben and the crew.CUT TO:The guys are sitting on the floor in the back of the truck,lined up along the sides like paratroopers waiting to jump.Ben is sitting next to Jelly and across from Vitti who isjust staring intently.CUT TO:The trucks make their way past the aircraft carrier Intrepidheading downtown.DISSOLVE TO:Vitti, Ben, and Eddie DeVol stand next to the treads of agiant crane.VITTI(checks his watch)I have five to three. They shouldstart movin' any minute.BEN(looking at his watch)I have three-o-six.VITTILet's see your watch.Ben slips it off and hands it to him. Vitti smashes it on arock with the butt of his gun, then tosses it back to Ben.Vitti's RADIO SQUAWKS and the spotter's voice is heard.SPOTTER (V.O.)(filtered)They're moving!Vitti keys his radio twice as a signal and holds up hisclenched fist to alert the guys on site with him.CUT TO:A CONVOY of vehicles emerges from the bowels of the buildingand turns onto the street. In front and back are specially-equipped SUVs, full of heavily-armed federal marshals; anarmored truck in the middle carries the gold.INT. LEAD TRUCK - SAME TIMEEXT. WEST SIDE HIGHWAY - NIGHTEXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT (LATER)
EXT. FEDERAL BUILDING - NIGHT107.CUT TO:The convoy RUMBLES past a block-long, high-rise constructionsite, totally enclosed by a plywood wall around theperimeter.He can hear the convoy passing outside the wall.He looks down on the convoy from a vantage point on ascaffold high above the street. When the trucks are in theright position, he waves to Vitti on the ground.sees the signal.VITTI(on walkie)Go!CUT TO:A forty-foot, flat-bed trailer truck loaded with cementconduit backs across the street and stops, blocking the pathof the convoy.The lead SUV HONKS. The truck doesn't move. The CAPTAIN ofthe marshals gets out and walks up to the truck. The driverhas slipped out the other side and disappeared.Suddenly, a huge steel claw drops down from above and closesaround the top of the armored truck, its sharp pointscrunching into the metal sides. Then the truck starts risingoff the pavement. A couple of determined marshals jump outof their vehicles, race over and grab onto the bumpers as thearmored truck is lifted off the ground.CUT TO:A hundred-foot tower crane lifts the truck straight up. Themarshals hang on as long as they can, then prudently let goand drop heavily to the street. Two marshals are stillclinging to the truck as it rises to a height of thirty feet,then swings silently over the perimeter fencing.EXT. ANOTHER STREET - SAME TIMEVITTISPOTTERVITTI
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS ACTION
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - CONTINUOUS ACTION108.A bank of arc lights is switched on illuminating the site asthe truck is lowered to the ground. Heavily-armed gangstersin ski masks surround the truck and herd the driver, theshotgun guard and the frightened marshalsinto a construction shack, while men with acetylene torchesattack the back doors.Vitti pulls down his ski mask and taps Ben.BENPaul, it's not too late. Don't dothis.VITTILet's go.He strides off to take charge. Ben pulls down his mask andhurries after him, but runs right into a pole.BENShit! Ow!He raises his mask and scampers after Vitti rubbing thepainful bump on his forehead.CUT TO:The marshals run around, frantically searching for a way intothe construction site.CUT TO:Totally in charge, he strides up to the armored truck just ashis men finish cutting through the steel plate doors. Vittiyanks the doors open..Vitti and Ben stare in awe at the exposed contents of thetruck -- a fortune in gold bars.VITTI(shouts)Get the ramp!Eddie and his guys run up with a long, narrow track withmetal rollers and set it up at the rear of the gold truck.EDDIE(very excited)You know, this might just fuckin'work.INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE
EXT. STREET - SAME TIMEVITTI109.BENYou're gonna get in so much trouble.CUT TO:The marshals are trying to climb over the construction sitewall, but they're stopped by rolls of razor wire andSUPPRESSING FIRE from inside the site.LIEUTENANTThey can't get over the wire.CAPTAINThen knock down the gates!CUT TO:The guys take the heavy bars out of the armored truck and runthem quickly along the rolling track into the bus.CUT TO:Jelly is pulling on the hat and jacket of a transit authoritybus driver. The floor boards of the bus have been lifted outand the guys are laying the gold bars in the hollow under thefloor.VITTI(pops his head in)Forty bars. That's all we need.BENHow much is that?VITTI$350 an ounce, 16 ounces in a pound,90 pounds in each bar -- do the math.JELLY(a beat)Actually, gold is measured in troyounces. 14.6 ounces to the pound.That would be... $18,396,000.BENReally?JELLYGive or take.He hears a LOUD CRASH and all eyes turn to the gates.EXT. STREET - SAME TIME
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITEINT. BUS - SAME TIME110.BENWell, so much for not peeing in mypants.Eddie goes off to help transfer the gold.CUT TO:The marshals back up one of the SUVs and run it into thegates again.CUT TO:The big, wooden GATES SHUDDER but Vitti's men roll twoenormous earthmovers up to reinforce the gates.BENYou know what you said about notflipping out?VITTIYeah?BENSorry.(flipping out)What did I do? What did I do? I hada perfect life, I threw it away.VITTIDon't do this.Vitti drags him off toward the building structure.BENI can't help it! My life is over!I’m going to jail. Some peoplecan handle prison -- I'm not one ofthem. I have delicate features. I'msmall. I'll be way too popular!VITTICalm down.BENI can't calm down! I'm gonna die!Inside the structure, Vitti spins him around and shakes him.VITTIYou're not gonna die!EXT. STREET - SAME TIMEINT. CONSTRUCTION SITE111.BENI can't breathe! I'm suffocating!VITTI(shaking him)For Chrissake, get hold of yourself!BENI can't! I’m dying! We're all goingto die!Suddenly, he slaps Vitti hard across the face. They bothfreeze.BENDid I just hit you?VITTIYeah. Feel better now?BEN(breaking down)I'm sorry, Paul. I blame myself forthis. I wanted to help you. I wantedto be there for you. But I justwasn't good enough.VITTIYou were good. It isn't your fault.BENNo, it is. Since my fatherdied --(starts crying)I've lost my way. I don't knowanything anymore. I mean, what's thepoint? I didn't think it would hit meso hard --VITTIWould you just shut up about yourfather!BENI'm grieving, goddammit! Have alittle respect!VITTIHe was an asshole -- you said ityourself. What are you grieving for?BENI'm grieving for myself, you fuckingidiot!Ben lets it all go, sobbing for all the years of pain.112.VITTI(surprised, shrugs)Jeez, I’m sorry.BENNow I know how you must have felt whenyour father was killed.Vitti looks at him.BEN(crying more)I mean, it had to be ten times worsefor you -- being murdered right infront of you. And you were so young --VITTIWe don't have time for this.BEN(really sobbing)It must've been so painful!VITTI(eyes filling with tears)I'm warning you -- don't dothis --BENI mean, it's like all his hopes foryou died with him. And that's so sad.VITTI(starting to cry)There I go. You happy now? You seewhat you're doing here?Both men are crying now.BENYour father really loved you.VITTII loved him, too. I did.BEN(hugs him)I know. I know.Jelly comes around the corner and sees the two men in a weepyembrace.JELLYOh, boy. This is bad.113.Another huge CRASH as the marshals ram the gates again, thistime tearing loose one of the big hinges.JELLYMaybe we oughta should go.Vitti, Ben and Jelly run to the bus, but Eddie pulls a gunand stops them. Al and Bobby cover Jelly and the rest of thecrew. Vitti backs away slowly.EDDIEDid you really think you were gonnalive through this?VITTII had my hopes.EDDIEYeah, well, nice work. Mr. Rigazziwill be very grateful.BEN(to Vitti)Rigazzi? I thought he worked forPatti LoPresti.VITTIThat's what Patty thought, too. Thisscumbag's been playin' both sidesagainst the middle.EDDIEThere's only one side as far as I'mconcerned. Mine. What did you think?I was just gonna stand by and let somefuckin' has-been move back in? Solong, Mr. Vitti.He cocks the gun and is about to pull the trigger when Bensuddenly roars and slams him in the head with his gun. Vittiand Jelly quickly cover Al Pacino and Enormous Bobby.BEN(beating the shit out of Eddie)I can't take it anymore! That's whatI hate about you fucking sociopaths!You just keep changing the rules tosuit yourselves. Well, not this time,you anti-social asshole. You fuckedwith the wrong shrink!Sitting on Eddie's chest, he presses the gun against Eddie'snose.BENDon't you read the papers? The guy114.with the gun makes the rules.VITTIYeah, what?They shove Eddie, Enormous Bobby and Al Pacino into the backof the armored truck, Vitti gives a signal and the cranelifts it off the ground.CUT TO:The armored truck comes down fast and drops heavily to thestreet. Federal MARSHALS swarm the truck and find Eddie, Al,and Bobby sprawled in the back.CAPTAIN(screaming)On the floor! Face-down! Now!AL PACINO(to Eddie)Nice goin'. Good plan.ENORMOUS BOBBYWhat's a sociopath?The marshals handcuff them.Suddenly, the marshals hear AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FIRE comingfrom the next block.Uniformed SWAT COPS come running from that direction andshout to the marshals.SWAT LEADERThey're escaping out the back! Getover there! Move it!The marshals rush toward the sound of the GUNFIRE anddisappear around the corner.CUT TO:As the marshals round the corner, they see a police shoot-outin progress.Wiseguys are FIRING AUTOMATIC WEAPONS at cops who are pinneddown behind police cruisers.The Captain of the marshals FIRES a warning SHOT in the air.CAPTAIN(on a bullhorn)Freeze! Drop your weapons!EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS ACTION
NEXT BLOCK115.The head wiseguy, Anthony Bella, turns in surprise.TONY BELLAWhat the hell is this?RAOUL (O.S.)(on his own bullhorn)Cut, cut, cut! What the hell’s goingon?Raoul strides out into the street, furious, still talkingthrough his bullhorn.RAOUL(to the Captain)Who are you? What are you doing in myshot?The Captain and the marshals look around and see that they'reon the set of "Little Caesar."CAPTAINWhat are you doing on my street?The Captain walks toward Raoul until they are almost face toface, shouting at each other through their BULLHORNS.RAOULI have a permit!CAPTAINI don't give a shit about your permit!The ASSISTANT DIRECTOR addresses the TV crew.ASSISTANT DIRECTORAll right, people. Back to one andlet's try it again!(into his walkie-talkie)Release the traffic and reset foranother take.On the perimeters of the set, the PA's signal the off-dutycops who work the set to release the real traffic they'vebeen holding on the cross streets.A city bus passes behind Raoul and Tony Bella who are stillscreaming at the Federal Marshal.CUT TO:In mid-block, SWAT cops step into the street and wave the busto a halt.EXT. 11TH AVENUE - MINUTES LATER116.CUT TO:Ben is sitting in the back with Vitti as the helmeted SWATcops board the bus.BEN(sees them coming)That's it. We're screwed.The cops walk toward the back and confront Ben.LEAD SWATYou!BENYes, Officer?LEAD SWATYou're one tough shrink.The cops unmask. It's Mo-Mo, Cokes, and Tuna. They laughand slap hands with Vitti and Ben.CUT TO:The bus pulls out and joins the flow of traffic headingdowntown.CUT TO:INT. BUS - MINUTES LATERAll the guys are looking pretty happy with their score.Ben turns to Vitti.BENFeeling pretty good, huh?VITTII felt worse.BENSo what now? You go on the run forthe rest of your life? Back to SingSing? Or you turn up dead in an alley?VITTIThose are my choices? What happenedto lying on a beach in Costa Ricafor the next twenty years? Youcan't let me enjoy this for fivefuckin' minutes?INT. BUS - SAME TIME
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS ACTION117.BENFive minutes? And then what?VITTIAnd then what? I'll show you.CUT TO:EXT. RIGAZZI PLUMBING AND HEATING - NEXT MORNINGA Rigazzi company van is forced open by a team of FBI agents ledby Agent Miller. Stacked inside are forty gold bars.Agent Cerrone comes out of the building with Lou Rigazzi andseveral associates in handcuffs.U.S. Attorney Chapin makes a statement to the media.CHAPINActing on intelligence we developed inthe last few days, the JusticeDepartment and the F.B.I. took veryaggressive action to recover thestolen gold and bring the perpetratorsto justice. I'm happy to tell thepeople of New York that the streetsare safe again.CUT TO:Vitti knocks on the front door. Patty answers it in herrobe.PATTYHi, Paul. How'd it go?VITTINot so good.PATTYYeah, I heard. It's all over thetelevision. I never should've trustedEddie. But, you know, a woman alonein the world is very vulnerable.VITTIYeah, I know.PATTYAt least I don't have to worry aboutthe Rigazzis no more. Thanks to you.VITTII told you -- I just want to be leftEXT. PATTY'S HOUSE - SAME TIME118.alone.PATTYI know. I'll make sure. How aboutsome breakfast? I could make you somewaffles and -- whatever else you want.She adjusts her robe, providing Vitti a quick peek.VITTICan't do that.Patty smiles and shrugs.PATTYWell, if you ever change your mind --(kisses him)Good luck, Paul.CUT TO:Ben is leaning against the railing gazing at the water whenVitti walks up.BENDid you see Patti?VITTIYeah.BEN(ruefully)Did she grab your balls?VITTIWhat kind of question is that? She'scool. She's just happy to have 'theWrench' out of the way.BENWell, I talked to the U.S. Attorney.VITTIDid he grab your balls?BENNo, Paul, he did not grab my balls.He thanked me for tipping him offabout the gold. And he said he won'tbe coming after you if you stay out oftrouble. So what do you think?VITTII'm gonna go to Ohio -- get Marie andthe kids -- then we'll probablydisappear for awhile -- figure out allEXT. EAST RIVER BOARDWALK - LATER MORNING119.this future stuff-- away from all the pressure.BENGood idea. Change is hard, Paul. Butyou did the right thing.VITTIYeah, you, too. You hung in there.That took a lot of guts.BENWell, I just --VITTINo, you were like an animal backthere.BENI just vented my displaced aggressionVITTINo. I'm telling you. You're amonster. I saw the beast in you.BENI'm not a beast. I can handle myselfif I have to --VITTIHandle yourself? You were fuckin'John Wayne.BENWell, I wrestled a bit in high school-- 122 pounds.VITTIYeah, I could tell. You're good, you.BENI'm not --VITTIPaul, I just --VITTINo. You are good. You got a gift, myfriend.Ben gives up.BENFine. I have a gift.VITTISo -- happy ending, huh?120.BENWell, I think so. Don't you feelbetter now?VITTIAre you kidding? I feel like shit.All that work for nothing. 20 millionbucks.BENYou're grieving -- it's a process.VITTITake it easy, Doc.BENYou, too, Paul.They embrace. Then Vitti starts to walk away toward Jellywho has been waiting at a respectful distance.Vitti stops and turns.VITTIHey, Doc!(sings)'There's a place for us -- 'BEN(sings)'A time and place for us -- 'JELLY(joins in)'Hold my hand we're halfway there -- 'ALL TOGETHER'Hold my hand and I'll take you there.(belting)Somehow, someday, somewhere.'The ORCHESTRA SWELLS as we CRANE UP TO the Brooklyn Bridgeand Lower Manhattan beyond.DISSOLVE TO:A little boy in a cowboy suit sitting on a pony as his fatherleads him around the ring.FADE OUT.THE ENDFADED 8MM COLOR HOME MOVIE FOOTAGE | screenplays |
the bessel functions are defined by @xcite @xmath1 these functions satisfy several addition formulas @xcite .
for example the graf s addition formula @xmath2 where @xmath3 for general @xmath4 and due to neumann ( 1867 ) for @xmath5 ( see @xcite ) . + another addition formula obtained by gegenbauer , is more connected with the theory of spherical waves .
it is @xmath6 where @xmath7 are the ultraspherical polynomials ( see @xcite ) .
+ formula ( 1.3 ) implies a product formula for bessel functions , important in harmonic analysis and applied mathematics .
it is related to the generalized translation associated with the bessel operator introduced by j. delsarte @xcite .
also , the product formula together with its positivity plays a central role in the development of the classical harmonic analysis .
+ many @xmath0-analogues of the bessel functions exist .
the oldest ones were introduced by jackson in 19031905 .
they were rewritten in modern notation by ismail @xcite .
other @xmath0-analogues can be obtained as formal limit cases of the three @xmath0-analogues of jacobi polynomials , i.e. , of little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials , big @xmath0-jacobi polynomials and askey - wilson polynomials .
for this reason we propose to speak about little @xmath0-bessel functions , big @xmath0-bessel functions and aw type @xmath0-bessel functions respectively for the corresponding limit cases ( see @xcite ) . also observe that the little @xmath0-bessel functions were already given by jackson ( 1904 ) , and that they are often called jackson s third @xmath0-bessel functions ( see @xcite ) .
+ in this paper we are concerned with the little @xmath0-bessel functions defined by @xcite @xmath8 it will be convenient to use the slightly different functions @xmath9 called normalized little @xmath0-bessel functions , which are defined by @xcite @xmath10 there are now several addition formulas available for little @xmath0-bessel functions . the first one is a @xmath0-analogue of graf s addition formula @xcite , established by r. f. swarttouw by using an analytic method .
a special cases of this addition formula is a @xmath0-analogue of neumann s addition formula for little @xmath0-bessel functions @xmath11 .
+ the second addition formula is also a @xmath0-extension of graf s addition formula .
this formula has originally been discovered by koelink @xcite using the interpretation of the little @xmath0-bessel functions on the quantum group of plane motions .
+ the third addition formula is a @xmath0-analogue of gegenbauer s addition formula derived by r. f. swarttouw @xcite .
the purpose of this paper to point out that a new addition formula for the little @xmath0-bessel functions can be derived as a limiting case of an addition formula for the little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials established by floris and koelink ( see @xcite , @xcite ) .
our procedure is suggested by the observation that the normalized little @xmath0-bessel functions @xmath12 can be obtained as a confluent limit of the little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials .
let @xmath13 such that @xmath14 and @xmath15 the @xmath0-shifted factorial are defined by @xcite @xmath16 for negative subscripts the @xmath0-shifted factorial is defined by @xmath17 we also define @xmath18 recall that , for @xmath19 and @xmath20 we have + @xmath21 @xmath22 the basic hypergeometric series are defined by @xmath23 where @xmath24 in particular , the @xmath25 basic hypergeometric series satisfies the relation @xmath26 let @xmath27 and @xmath28 . the basic hypergeometric series @xmath29 satisfies the relation @xmath30 in addition , @xmath31 from
, we can write @xmath32 the first @xmath4 terms of the series vanish , so the summation on the right - hand side of starts with @xmath33 , we obtain after replacing @xmath34 by @xmath35 @xmath36 thus , we have shown the relation for @xmath37 . the case @xmath38 follows from the case @xmath39 by changing @xmath40 by @xmath41 and @xmath42 by @xmath43 in and using relation .
bessel functions are limit cases of some orthogonal polynomials .
a well known limit transition is the one between the normalized jacobi polynomials and the bessel functions @xmath44 , which we can rewritten as @xmath45 where @xmath46 the @xmath0-analogue of limit transition starts with the little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials , which are defined by @xmath47 and which satisfy the orthogonality relation @xmath48 where @xmath49 and @xmath50 see @xcite .
the @xmath0-analogue of the limit from the little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials @xmath51 to the normalized little @xmath0-bessel functions is given in the following proposition .
for @xmath52 and @xmath50 we have @xmath53 uniformly on compact subsets of @xmath54 from , we can write @xmath55 let @xmath56 . by inequality
, the summand of the sum at the right hand side can be majorized by @xmath57 and @xmath58 on the other hand a simple calculation shows that @xmath59 then the result follows from and by dominated convergence .
another limit transition from orthogonal polynomials to the bessel functions , starts with the krawtchouk polynomials @xcite . in this work
we consider the affine @xmath0-krawtchouk polynomials .
they are defined by @xcite @xmath60{ccc}q^{-z } , & q^{-x } , & 0\\ tq , & q^{-n } & \end{array } \right\vert q , q\right)\ ] ] where @xmath61 and @xmath62 .
they satisfy the orthogonality relation @xmath63 next , we will establish a limit transition from affine @xmath0-krawtchouk polynomials to big @xmath0-bessel functions , which are defined by @xmath64 let @xmath65 and @xmath66 with @xmath67 and @xmath68 then @xmath69 furthermore @xmath70 from the following identity ( see @xcite ) @xmath71{ccc}q^{-n } , & c / b , & 0\\ c , & cq / bz & \end{array } \right\vert q , q\right ) = \frac{(-1)^nq^{\binom{n}{2}}}{(cq / bz;q)_n}(cq / bz)^n \ _ { 2}\varphi_{1}\left ( \left .
\begin{array } [ c]{ccc}q^{-n } , & b\\ \,\,\,\ , c & \end{array } \right\vert q , z\right),\ ] ] we can rewrite the affine krawtchouk polynomials as @xmath72{ccc}q^{-z } , & tq^{n - x+1}\\ \ , \ , \ tq & \end{array } \right\vert q , q^{x+1}\right).\ ] ] thus @xmath73 now , by , we see that @xmath74 on the other hand @xmath75 so , the proposition follows by dominated convergence .
let @xmath76 @xmath77 @xmath78 and @xmath79 @xmath80 @xmath81 and @xmath82 with @xmath83 + we consider @xmath84 where @xmath85 are the little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials . p. g. a. floris and h. t. koelink obtained the following addition formula for the polynomials @xmath86 @xmath87 @xmath88 where @xmath89 @xmath90 and @xmath91 let @xmath92 with @xmath93 , then from the formula we obtain @xmath94 @xmath95 the addition formula for the little @xmath0-bessel functions can be obtained formally as a limit case of the formula .
let @xmath76 @xmath77 @xmath78 and @xmath96 then the series @xmath29 satisfies the following addition formula @xmath97 @xmath98 in order to justify the limit transition from the little @xmath0-jacobi to the little @xmath0-bessel functions we first prove the following lemma .
for @xmath78 and @xmath99 we have @xmath100 in the sum defining @xmath101 replace the summation index @xmath34 by @xmath102 and apply elementary relations for the @xmath0-shifted factorial ( see @xcite ) to obtain @xmath103 by and @xmath0-binomial theorem ( see @xcite ) , we get @xmath104 hence @xmath100 ( @xmath105 ) in the addition formula for the little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials @xmath106 , replace @xmath107 by @xmath108 @xmath40 by @xmath109 @xmath110 by @xmath111 and @xmath112 by @xmath113 , we get addition formula for @xmath114 @xmath115 as @xmath116 , the right - hand side and left - hand sides of these formula tends to the right - hand side and left - hand side of the addition formula for @xmath0-bessel .
we give a rigorous proof of these limits by using the dominated convergence theorem .
+ from and there exists a positive constant @xmath117 such that @xmath118 then by the use of proposition 3.2 and lemma 4 - 2 , the summand in the first sum of the second hand side of next formula is bounded in absolute value by @xmath119 , where @xmath120 is positive constant and independent of @xmath121 .
similarly , the summand in the second sum at the second hand side of next formula is bounded in absolute value by @xmath122 in the following corollary we rewrite the addition formula in theorem 4.1 in terms of the normalized little @xmath0-bessel functions . for @xmath123 @xmath124 and @xmath125 the normalized little @xmath0-bessel functions
satisfy the following addition formula @xmath126 @xmath127 throughout the next formula is called addition formula for the normalized little @xmath0-bessel functions . now
if we let @xmath112 to infinity in these formula we obtain for @xmath123 @xmath128 and @xmath129 @xmath130 @xmath131
taking @xmath132 with @xmath133 in formula ( 6.2 ) of @xcite gives the following product formula for the little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials : @xmath134 @xmath135 formally the product formula for the @xmath29 series can be obtained as a limit case of the product formula for little @xmath0-jacobi polynomials . in just replace @xmath40 by @xmath136 and make the substitution @xmath137 and @xmath138 . and let @xmath139 to @xmath140 we obtain the formula cited in the following proposition .
where @xmath147 @xmath148 ^ 2 } { ( q;q)_{n - z}(q^{n};q^{-1})_{x}(q^{n+1},q^{1+n+y - x - z};q)_{\infty } } q^{\nu(n - x)+(1+y - x)(z - x)}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] furthermore , the kernel @xmath149 is symmetric in @xmath150 @xmath151 and @xmath152 the formula follows from and . to show the kernel is symmetric it suffices to prove @xmath153 and @xmath154 by application of and twice ,
we can write , for @xmath155 @xmath156 and by the following elementary relations @xmath157 we get @xmath158 ^ 2 } { ( q;q)_{n - x}(q^{n};q^{-1})_{z}(q^{n+1},q^{1+n+y - x - z};q)_{\infty } } q^{\nu n+(y - z)(x - z)+x}\end{aligned}\ ] ] hence , @xmath159 for , applying relation and replacing @xmath112 by @xmath160 in the second member of , the kernel @xmath161 becomes @xmath162 ^ 2 } { ( q^{n+x - y};q^{-1})_{x}(q^{1+n+x - y},q^{1+n - z};q)_{\infty } } q^{\nu(n - y)+(1+x - y)(z - y)}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the result follows from the elementary relations @xmath163 99 , orthogonal polynomials and special functions , cbms - nsf regional conference series applied math .
@xmath164 , siam , philadelphia pa , ( 1975 ) . , elements of harmonic analysis related to the third basic zero order bessel function , j. math .
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( 2008 ) , 12031219 . ,
the @xmath0-@xmath166 bessel function , j. approx .
theory , @xmath167 ( 2002 ) , 144166 .
, addition formulas for @xmath0-bessel functions , j. math .
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( 1992 ) , 29842988 .
, addition formula for @xmath0-disk polynomials , compositio mathematica ( 1994 ) @xmath169 , 123149 . ,
basic hypergeometric series , 2nd edition ( 2004 ) , encyclopedia of mathematics and its applications , @xmath170 , cambridge university press , cambridge .
, on a @xmath0-definite integrals , quarterly journal of pure and applied mathematics @xmath171 ( 1910 ) , 193203 .
, the zeros of basic bessel functions , the functions @xmath172 , and associated orthogonal polynomials , j. math .
@xmath173 ( 1982 ) , 119 .
, a basic analogue of graf s addition formula and related formulas , integral transforms and special functions @xmath169 ( 1993 ) , 165182 . , duke math .
j. @xmath174 ( 1994 ) , 483508 . , j. comp .
math @xmath175 ( 1986 ) , 209220 , a @xmath0-analogue of graf s addition formula for the hahn - exton @xmath0-bessel function , j. approx .
theory @xmath176 ( 1995 ) , 260273 . , the askey - wilson function transform scheme , in : special functions 2000 : current perspective and future directions , j. bustoz et al .
( ed . ) , nato science series ii , vol .
30 , kluwer , dordrecht , ( 2001 ) , pp . 221241 ; @xmath177 , hypergeometric orthogonal polynomials and their @xmath0-analogues , springer monographs in mathematics , springer - verlag , berlin , ( 2010 ) .
@xmath178 ( 1988 ) , 12031221 . , a treatise on the theory of bessel functions , 2nd ed . , cambridge university press , cambridge , ( 1944 ) . | arxiv |
breast carcinoma in men is uncommon with an incidence report rate of 1.08 per 100,000 . at time of diagnosis ,
men have a higher median age ; and are more likely to have a more advanced stage of disease and lymph node involvement .
forequarter ( interscapulothoracic ) amputation was first performed in 1808 for severe traumatic injuries of the upper extremity .
the procedure involves removal of the entire upper extremity with the ipsilateral scapula and total/ subtotal clavicle .
the first oncological forequarter amputation was reported in 1836 . since then , it has been used for managing high - grade bone and soft - tissue sarcomas of the shoulder girdle in which salvage of the extremity and the aforementioned bones including the shoulder joint would not be feasible . today ,
it is very rarely used as effective adjuvant chemotherapy with or without radiation therapy combined with limb - sparing surgery in many cases has replaced radical amputation surgeries .
although the majority of forequarter amputations are performed for high - grade bone and soft tissue sarcomas or extensive osteomyelitis of the upper extremities , this radical operation may also be indicated for the curative treatment of recurrent breast cancer and for the palliation of locally advanced breast cancer .
axillary tumor recurrence may cause significant morbidity due to pain , limb dysfunction , lymphedema , and varying degrees of paralysis and sensory impairment .
it may also cause chest wall invasion , and skin ulceration secondary to invasion of the brachial plexus and axillary vessels by the tumor .
further morbidity can be caused by perforation of the overlying skin by the tumor causing bacterial or fungal infections , sepsis , or hemorrhage . in those cases with dysfunctional upper extremities , a need for
a more radical surgery may arise in order to improve the patient 's quality of life and daily function [ 3,5 - 7 ] . to date
, there have only been 20 published cases of forequarter amputations for axillary recurrence of breast cancer .
all of the cases were females and only 4 of these amputations were performed primarily for curative purposes .
we are hereby reporting a male patient with metastatic breast adenocarcinoma who underwent simultaneous modified radical mastectomy and forequarter amputation .
the axillar mass was 12 7 cm and the mass in the proximal lateral humerus was 6 5 cm .
his symptoms had started a number of years prior . before the initiation of these symptoms , he denied having any significant medical problems .
he had been referred to a surgerical clinic three years prior in which he had a biopsy of the tumor reported as mucinous adenocarcinoma .
it appears that he had been evaluated only for possible intestinal primaries at that time and having failed to identify the primary , had been sent to receive radiotherapy of unclear dosage .
after the recurrence of his tumor , he was referred to the medical oncology department at our hospital with a mass in the left thoracic region and another in the left humerus , visible on x - rays ( fig .
1 ) . his examination revealed a mass in his left breast besides the aforementioned ones .
his biopsy materials were reevaluated in our pathology department and confirmed to be metastatic adenocarcinoma .
the report also indicated that the mass might be breast originated , raising the suspicion towards a possible breast primary .
he was then given neoadjuvant chemotherapy consisting of docetaxel and capecitabine for six cycles following the decision of our tumor council .
an magnetic resonance imaging ( mri ) scan was obtained following the cessation of his chemotherapy revealing a 140 100 90 mm lobulated mass in the proximal epiphyses , metaphysis and diaphysis of the left humerus , which was destructing the cortices on multiple sides with a large soft tissue component , and invading and protruding out of the skin ( fig .
another mass , 123 54 74 mm in size , was located in the axillary region adjacent to the thoracic wall infiltrating the skin , surrounded by multiple nodular masses of different sizes .
there were other masses also in his pectoral muscle , as well as in his scapular muscles .
medullar intensity of the scapula appeared to be normal . computed tomography scans of the chest , abdomen and pelvis and an mri of the brain failed to demonstrate any other metastasic lesions . at the end of the neoadjuvant chemotherapy protocol ,
he was under a combination analgesic treatment that consisted of ibuprofen ( 3 400 mg ) , tramadol ( 4 50 mg ) and pethidine ( 1 75 mg ) .
his pain scales ( out of 10 ) were 8 to 9 in the mornings and 9 to 10 at night , severe enough to awaken him from his sleep .
the status of the patient was discussed amongst the tumor council of our hospital consisting of orthopedic surgeons , radiologists , medical oncologists and radiation oncologists , who decided that amputation would be the best option for the management of the patient 's pain and impaired function . the radical nature of the procedure as well as the risks and benefits were discussed with the patient and his family and the patient consented to undergo the operation .
the operation was performed by a team of orthopedic , general and plastic - reconstructive surgeons .
the skin incision was marked in close consultation with the general and plastic surgeons ( fig .
skins flap were elevated superiorly to the clavicle , inferiorly to the costal arch , and medially to anterior midline .
the lateral border of the skin flaps was latissimus dorsi muscle , inferiorly ; and the supero - medial border of the mass , superiorly .
dissection of the pectoralis major muscle was started from the medial side at the origin from the sternum as the insertion was also invaded by the mass .
dissection was then directed to the thoracic wall to excise all the breast tissue , pectoral muscles and the soft tissues , including the periosteum of the ribs without exposing the tumor .
the exposure was continued laterally and posteriorly up to the insertions of rhomboid muscles . finally , the upper extremity , all together with the mastectomy material , was removed including the scapula , inevitably creating a big tissue defect ( fig .
4 ) . the defect was closed with full thickness skin graft and application of vacuum assisted closure ( v.a.c .
the specimen consisted of 70 cm of upper extremity and scapula and breast tissue attached to it .
there was another ulcerated region of 6 5 cm in the lateral proximal humeral region .
the tumor was negative for estrogen receptor , c - erbb2 and gcdfp-15 , and 1% positive for progesterone receptor .
in fluorescence in situ hybridization ( fish ) studies conducted with dna probes ( repeat - free poseidon fish dna probes , kreatech diagnostics , amsterdam , netherland ) her-2 gene amplification was not manifested .
the patient was monitored in the post anesthesia care unit for a few days until he was stabilized and then transferred to our clinic . in the early post - operative period
his pain medication was ibuprofen ( 3 400 mg ) and tramadol ( 2 50 mg ) , with the addition of morphine patient controlled analgesia for the first two days .
his pain scales , out of 10 , were between 4 to 6 both during the day and at night .
he was discharged from the hospital when the wound healed after two weeks ( fig .
his outpatient progress was monitored during the first , third , sixth and twelfth weeks post - operatively . in the third and the sixth week controls ,
the patient reported that he was experiencing reduced levels of pain and had therefore lessened his intake of pain medication ; he was only taking ibuprofen ( 3 400 mg ) . in the control during the twelfth week the patient reported that he was almost entirely pain - free .
the patient , refusing to receive any further chemotherapy , passed away eleven months after surgery .
invasive breast cancer is the most common malignancies among women . although the incidence appears to be on the rise , due to earlier detection and adjuvant therapy , declining mortality rates
there is a tendency for limited axillary surgery , which may eventually increase the potential risk of future axillary recurrences .
a review of the literature reveals only 20 published cases of forequarter amputation for axillary recurrence of breast cancer , most derived from small groups or individual case series .
none of these patients were men , and to our knowledge , forequarter amputation as a primary treatment for metastatic and infiltrative breast cancer has never been reported .
the status of the disease and possible treatment alternatives were discussed amongst the tumor council at our hospital , which consists of orthopedic surgeons , radiologists , medical oncologists and radiation oncologists . the operation of simultaneous mastectomy , forequarter amputation and skin grafting was performed by a team of orthopedic , general and plastic - reconstructive surgeons .
it was well known at the time of treatment that our patient would have a poor short - term prognosis with his extensive metastasis , and the operation was performed with palliative aim , focusing on his quality of life rather than life expectancy . eventually his quality of life improved dramatically after the operation and he lived for eleven more months without suffering from severe pain . similarly , an overall improvement in daily life , physical and emotional well - being and sexual or social life is reported for patients who underwent forequarter amputation for palliation .
furthermore , it has also been advocated that local recurrence of breast cancer without a remote metastasis can be an indication for surgery to relieve pain and bleeding , and that in combination with adjuvant therapy the patient 's survival can be prolonged . in conclusion
, this case demonstrates that even in grossly advanced stages of breast carcinomas with invasion not only to the chest wall but also to the neighboring axilla and extremity , ablative surgery of a very large magnitude including the excision of the breast and all chest wall muscles as well as the entire shoulder girdle and upper extremity , is not only feasible with a multidisciplinary approach but also advisable in order to decrease patients ' pain and improve the quality of their lives . | pubmed |
Does airflow also increase in velocity as it hits a surface as fluid does?
When you drop a stream of water to the ground, you can see it spreading out over a large area at a higher speed than it fell as the water thins out against the surface. Air is like fluid in many ways, but it doesn't hold itself together with polar/hydrogen bonds and tends to create turbulence and eddies more readily.
So, does a mass of air also experience this phenomena of spreading out faster that it was previously traveling as it hits a surface? Not necessarily a large surface, it could be a small sphere traveling fast through the air or a large surface like the ground or a mountain. You could argue conservation of energy or that it is specific to falling, which I'm not opposed to, but I also don't want to assume air is completely like fluid and that there could be some other mechanism at work.
Air is as much a fluid as water. Both liquids (which I assume you mean by the term fluid) and gases are described by the same physical laws. Obviously, there are quantitative differences, but the qualitative features are the same.
The two examples you mentioned of polarity and hydrogen bonds are also present in gases. Only in the ideal gas model do we neglect those interactions - real gases behave very differently!
This deviation from ideality can be described by the so called compressibility factor. If you look up this Z-factor for the polar molecule NH3 and compare it to CO2, you will see that ammonia behaves much less ideal and that is partly caused by it's polarity, although there are also a lot of other intermolecular forces to be taken into account. HF is a great example for the influence of hydrogen bonds in the gaseous state.
By including more and more of these factors, you end up with more 'refined' models for the behaviour of gases. Look up the Van der Waals Equation, which extends the ideal gas model to include attractive and repulsive forces and gives a much more accurate description especially when you start to think about phase transitions between liquid and gas.
No you cant argue that conservation of energy is specific to falling. Neither is conservation of momentum.
Just think what would happen if the opposite were true and air behaves differently than water when hitting a surface, and therefore decrease or keep its initial velocity. Would planes be able to fly?
One of the key differences between the two in daily life is incompressibility. Water is compressible, but about 4 orders of magnitude less than air so this is a fair assumption in most cases. However, very interesting things happen if a flowing medium is viewed as compressible:
Consider a huge storage tank of an ideal gas at some higher than ambient pressure. Imagine drilling a small hole into the tank.
If the tank contained (incompressible) water, the water would flow out of the tank and thereby reduce it's pressure to ambient conditions. As the pressure of the water decreases, it's velocity increases.
Now that the tank contains an ideal gas, we have to take compressibility into account. It turns out there is a 'critical pressure' in the plane of the hole, and the gas can not reduce it's pressure lower than this critical pressure - so if the ambient pressure is lower than the critical, the exiting gas will reach the speed of sound and the only means to further reduce pressure is by shock.
Ever heard a military fighter jet transition into supersonice speed? The loud bang you hear is a result of this phenomenon. Google 'Schlieren Image', a very nice visualisation technique for supersonic shocks.
| stackexchange/physics |
the exchange of meson pairs plays an important role in hadron dynamics .
the first meson exchange models of the two - nucleon interaction were based on the exchange of one meson only and had to introduce a scalar - isoscalar meson ( the sigma ) which is not seen as a resonance in the two - pion phase shifts and has remained a controversial issue @xcite .
models of the two - nucleon interaction based on dispersion relations show that the sigma meson can be understood as an effective degree of freedom which parameterizes the exchange of two pions @xcite .
a natural extension of this approach leads to the inclusion of @xmath0 correlations in the @xmath2-channel @xcite .
in addition to the exchange of two pions , the exchange of a pion - rho pair is necessary to describe the phase shifts , in particular near the pion production threshold @xcite .
correlated two - pion exchange has been incorporated in meson - theoretic models of both pion - nucleon @xcite and kaon - nucleon scattering @xcite . in these calculations ambiguities in the
dispersion theoretic approach @xcite to the correlated two - meson exchange in the @xmath2 channel were encountered .
exchange is defined by integrating right hand cuts only @xcite . by leaving out contributions from the left hand cuts ,
the mentioned ambiguities arise . ]
the quantitative effect of these ambiguities is illustrated in fig .
[ figcoupl ] , where we show the vector and tensor @xmath5 coupling as calculated using different dispersion relation formulations @xcite . given the important role of correlated two - meson exchanges in many different hadronic reactions , one is compelled to address the question which of the various dispersion relation formulations is preferred . in order to answer this question , we calculate the correlated @xmath0 exchange , not in the framework of dispersion relations , which suffer from the problem of being ambiguous , but in a formulation based on spectral functions . we introduce this method in the next section using the @xmath3 potential due to correlated @xmath0 exchange in the @xmath1 channel as an example , which is simpler than the exchange in the @xmath2 channel . in the third section we deal with the construction of the potential in the @xmath2 channel and
discuss the problem of differing results in the dispersion relation approach .
the last section summarizes our results .
in order to extract the dynamical information from the transfer matrix in both channels , @xmath4 ( hereafter called the @xmath6-channel ) and @xmath7 ( hereafter called the @xmath8-channel ) , one must first decompose the @xmath9-matrix into well - defined operators and amplitudes that contain the dynamics of the reaction .
the most familiar amplitudes in this respect are the @xmath10 amplitudes ( see fig .
[ figspec ] ) introduced by frazer and fulco @xcite , which we will use as input for our calculations .
the details of this decomposition are given in the appendix [ zerleg ] .
our starting point for the construction of the correlated @xmath0 exchange is the lagrangian @xmath11 we use derivative coupling at the @xmath12 vertex to ensure chiral symmetry . from this lagrangian
we calculate a @xmath3 potential @xmath13 where the propagator @xmath14 depends on the theoretical framework in which one is working . in a covariant approach
the propagator is @xmath15 our notation is shown in fig .
[ fignot ] in the appendix .
the potential @xmath16 can be expressed in terms of the invariant amplitudes @xmath17 and @xmath18 defined in the appendix : @xmath19 in order to obtain an idea of how to proceed , let us look again at the spectral functions in fig .
[ figspec ] .
the two spectral functions of the @xmath2 channel suggest a breit - wigner parameterization of a resonance .
the width of such a resonance is the decay width of the particle .
if the particle is stable the width is zero , resulting in a delta function located at the mass squared of the particle .
the spectral functions @xmath20 can then be regarded as mass distributions of an unstable particle .
we can then incorporate the width of the @xmath1 meson into our amplitudes by exchanging a continuum of @xmath1 mesons with different masses @xmath21 , with amplitudes weighted according to the spectral function .
this can be cast in spectral form @xcite : @xmath22 where the spectral function is normalized according to @xmath23 all that we need do is calculate the spectral function @xmath24 .
we do this by relating the spectral function to the dressed @xmath1 propagator , @xmath25 , via @xmath26 in order to extract the @xmath1 propagator , we express the @xmath27 amplitudes of eq .
( [ ampfsigma ] ) as a @xmath1 pole diagram with a dressed propagator , @xmath28 , which contains all the @xmath0 dynamics , as shown in fig .
[ figpic ] .
we thus obtain @xmath29 the spectral function is then given by @xmath30 from which we obtain the amplitude @xmath31 : @xmath32 here we have used the relation @xmath33 and the definition of the on shell momentum @xmath34 and changed the variable of integration from @xmath35 to @xmath36 .
this enables us to compare our expression directly with the results of the dispersion theoretical approach of ref .
@xcite @xmath37 the tilde is used only as a reminder that this is a result from dispersion theory . in comparing the two results , eq .
( [ ressigma ] ) derived by using the spectral function and eq .
( [ sigschuetz ] ) calculated within the framework of dispersion relations , we find differences only in the factor in front of the integral : @xmath38 in eq .
( [ ressigma ] ) and @xmath39 in eq .
( [ sigschuetz ] ) . for on - shell amplitudes ,
these two terms agree .
therefore the on - shell amplitudes of both methods are the same , as it must be .
off - shell , however , they are very different , as seen in fig .
[ figfaktor ] .
if one wishes to use this amplitude as a potential in a scattering equation or as an off - shell @xmath3 amplitude in another reaction , care must be taken to use a potential with an off - shell behavior that is compatible with the off - shell behavior of other diagrams ( e.g. nucleon exchange ) .
the off - shell behavior can be implemented easily in eq .
( [ ressigma ] ) , because here only the momenta of the two pions appear and the off - shell prescription of these momenta is given by the formalism used to solve the scattering equation for which the correlated @xmath0 exchange serves as a potential .
the importance of a proper off - shell behavior of the @xmath3 amplitude constructed in a dispersion theoretical way is also pointed out in the calculation of the @xmath40 vertex in ref .
there the authors prescribe the off - shell behavior of the correlated two pion exchange by comparing the amplitude to the field theoretical amplitude for the exchange of a stable particle .
the fact that the on - shell amplitudes , which are the ones we are interested in at the moment , are the same with both methods shows that our method leads to correct results where dispersion theory is applicable .
this observation encourages us to proceed in the calculation of the correlated @xmath0 exchange in the @xmath2 channel .
let us start this section by taking a closer look at the source of the difference displayed in fig .
[ figcoupl ] .
the coupling constants shown there are calculated by using different dispersion relations @xcite .
the dashed lines were calculated by using the amplitudes @xmath41 which we get by writing dispersion relations for @xmath42 and @xmath43 separately and inserting these into eq .
( [ ampfrho ] ) . a different way was originally suggested by frazer and fulco @xcite and later applied by hhler and pietarinen @xcite to a calculation of the the @xmath5 couplings .
they define the combinations @xmath44 for which dispersion relation are written .
this leads to the amplitudes @xmath45 and to the solid curves in fig .
[ figcoupl ] .
note that the factor @xmath46 does not generate a pole at @xmath47 since the @xmath10 amplitudes obey the relation @xcite @xmath48 yet another possibility was suggested by j.m .
richard @xcite .
he defines two amplitudes @xmath49 and formulates a subtracted dispersion relation for @xmath50 and an unsubtracted dispersion relation for @xmath51 @xmath52 since @xmath53 the amplitude @xmath54 ( and therefore the tensor coupling ) is the same as in eq .
[ dispgamma ] .
the amplitude @xmath55 , however , reads now @xmath56 and leads to a different vector coupling , shown in fig .
[ figcoupl ] .
the fact that these three alternatives lead to very different amplitudes can be seen directly by comparing the eqs .
( [ dispf ] ) , ( [ dispgamma ] ) , and ( [ dispgh ] ) .
one can see for example , that the factor @xmath46 appears in front of the dispersion relation integral over the @xmath10 amplitudes in eq .
( [ dispf ] ) , whereas it is absorbed in the definition of the @xmath57 amplitudes in eq .
( [ dispgamma ] ) .
of course this influences the convergence of the dispersion integrals which causes the differences between the couplings displayed in fig .
[ figcoupl ] .
these are the ambiguities mentioned above .
let us now calculate the @xmath2 exchange by using the spectral function approach we have introduced in section [ secsig ] .
the calculation of the amplitudes in the @xmath2 channel proceeds along the same lines as outlined in the previous section .
the lagrangian we start with is @xmath58 ( @xmath59 ) . from this
we calculate the invariant amplitudes @xmath60 which we have to weight with a spectral function to get the correlated @xmath0 exchange . the two coupling schemes of the @xmath2 to the nucleon as given in eq .
( [ lagrho ] ) , manifest themselves in two spectral functions which must be calculated from the two amplitudes @xmath43 and @xmath42 by using eq .
( [ ampfrho ] ) , but how to assign the propagators ( spectral functions ) is not yet clear
. we could either define ( a ) separate spectral functions for the amplitudes @xmath17 and @xmath18 or ( b ) spectral functions for the vector and tensor part of the coupling .
* by using the _ ansatz _ @xmath61 the first method leads us to the spectral functions @xmath62 which we now use to construct the amplitude for correlated @xmath0 exchange via @xmath63 we finally obtain for the amplitudes @xmath64 * the different momentum dependence of the vector and tensor coupling as given in eq . ( [ lagrho ] ) may lead to different dressing of these couplings in expressing the amplitude by a dressed propagator ( as displayed in fig .
[ figpic ] ) .
the second possibility of defining spectral functions for the vector and tensor coupling takes this into account and leads us to a system of coupled equations @xmath65 solving this system of popagators and using the definiton of the spectral function given in eq .
( [ propspec ] ) as well as the relations @xmath66 for integrating over the @xmath2 mass distribution we get @xmath67 where we have written our result also in terms of the @xmath57 amplitudes defined in eq .
( [ gammaamp ] ) + the amplitude @xmath55 can be reduced further by using @xmath68 to give @xmath69 as can be seen by comparing @xmath54 from eq .
( [ abtwo ] ) and @xmath55 from eq .
( [ finalb ] ) with the amplitudes in eq .
( [ abone ] ) both methods lead to the same amplitudes .
therefore it does not matter how we assign the propagators to the different amplitudes or coupling schemes ; they all lead to the same result .
this makes our prescription for calculating the correlated @xmath0 exchange in the @xmath2 channel _
unambiguous_. in comparing the amplitudes from the dispersion relation approach and the amplitudes from our approach using the spectral functions , we see , that the amplitudes of eq .
( [ dispgamma ] ) generated by the dispersion over the @xmath57 amplitudes are in complete agreement with our amplitudes from eq .
( [ abtwo ] ) .
furthermore we recognize , that the only difference between our amplitudes from eq .
( [ abone ] ) and the amplitudes from dispersing the @xmath10 amplitudes of eq .
( [ dispf ] ) is the position of the term @xmath46 . in our case
this term appears inside the integration whereas in eq .
( [ dispf ] ) it appears in front of the integral . a dispersion relation over the amplitudes @xmath70 would therefore lead also to the eq .
( [ dispgamma ] ) .
the dispersion relation over @xmath70 was done for the @xmath1 exchange right from the beginning , since the known ( model dependent ) part of the @xmath71 amplitude does not have the necessary asymptotic behavior as @xmath72 @xcite .
to summarize , we have introduced an alternative method for the construction of amplitudes for the correlated @xmath0 exchange that does not suffer from ambiguities of the @xmath2 exchange in approaches through dispersion relations . in the @xmath1 channel
our result agrees completely with the on - shell results from dispersion theory , however by starting from a field theoretically constructed potential , our approach removes ambiguities in the construction of the off shell amplitudes . in the @xmath2
channel the source of ambiguity in the coupling constants is traced to the choice whether to perform a dispersion relation over the amplitudes @xmath10 or the ratio @xmath70 .
the latter choice agrees completely with dispersion relations over the @xmath57 amplitudes used by hhler and pietarinen .
our approach solves the problem of non - uniqueness and yields amplitudes that are in complete agreement with the results from dispersion relations over the @xmath57 amplitudes for on - shell processes .
we are grateful to i.r .
afnan and g. hhler for stimulating discussions .
furthermore we would like to thank j.w .
durso for carefully reading the manuscript .
two of us ( o.k . and j.s . ) would like to thank a.w .
thomas for the hospitality they enjoyed during their stay at the _ special research centre for the structure of subatomic matter _ in adelaide / australia , where part of this work was done .
thanks the deutsche forschungsgemeinschaft for financial support under grant no .
447 aus-113/3/0 during his stay in adelaide .
c.h . acknowledges support from the alexander - von - humboldt foundation as a theodor - lynen fellow .
this work was supported in part by the u.s .
department of energy under grant no .
de - fg03 - 97er41014 .
the transfer matrix @xmath9 is related to the standard @xmath73-matrix by @xmath74 in the @xmath8-channel the transfer matrix @xmath9 can be represented as @xmath75 where @xmath76 is the dirac spinor of the nucleon with momentum @xmath77 and helicity @xmath78 . the isospin wave functions @xmath79 for the nucleon and @xmath80 for the pion
explicitly depend on the third components as given in fig .
[ fignot ] .
the operator @xmath81 acts in spin - momentum and isospin space and can be decomposed into @xmath82 where @xmath83 and @xmath84 are the isospin operators of nucleon and pion , respectively .
the index @xmath85 symmetric and @xmath86antisymmetric tells us how the amplitudes behave under exchange of the two pions .
these amplitudes can be represented by @xmath87 where @xmath88 .
the @xmath9 matrix in the @xmath6-channel can be decomposed in the same way @xmath89 where the amplitudes @xmath81 and therefore also @xmath90 and @xmath91 are the same functions as in eq .
( [ zerlegs ] ) and eq .
( [ abs ] ) , however , in a different kinematic domain . in order to isolate the contributions of the @xmath1 and @xmath2 we have to perform a partial wave decomposition of the amplitudes @xmath90 and @xmath91 , @xmath92 and the same for @xmath91 .
the argument @xmath93 of the legendre polynomials @xmath94 is the cosine of the scattering angle in the @xmath6-channel . due to crossing symmetry
, the amplitudes @xmath95 and @xmath96 have to vanish for even @xmath97 and @xmath98 and @xmath99 have to vanish for odd @xmath97 , so that the index @xmath97 determines also the symmetry @xmath100 , which can then be dropped from the partial wave amplitudes .
the @xmath10 amplitudes introduced by frazer and fulco @xcite are free of kinematical singularities .
they are connected to the partial wave amplitudes in the following way : @xmath101 the momenta @xmath102 are the @xmath6-channel momenta of the @xmath103 and @xmath0 system in their c.m . , respectively .
the index @xmath104 gives the helicity of the nucleon @xmath105 .
the helicity of the antinucleon is fixed to @xmath106 . using these amplitudes ,
the invariant amplitudes can be written as @xmath107 where @xmath108 .
the symmetry @xmath100 of the amplitudes is determined by summing only even ( odd ) @xmath97 .
the @xmath1 and @xmath2 contribution is contained in the @xmath109 and @xmath110 term in eq .
( [ aampfamp ] ) , respectively .
explicitly , the amplitudes for the @xmath1 channel read @xmath111 and for the @xmath2 channel @xmath112 c. caso et al .
j. c * 3 * , 1 ( 1998 ) .
cottingham , m. lacombe , b. loiseau , j.m .
richard , and r. vinh mau , phys .
d * 8 * , 800 ( 1973 ) .
brown and a.d .
jackson , the nucleon - nucleon interaction ( north - holland , amsterdam , 1976 ) .
durso , a.d .
jackson , and b.j .
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colorectal cancer ( crc ) is a common cause of cancer - related death , with increased incidence over the past 25 years . despite advances in treatment
, it is expected that more than 50% of patients undergoing resection for crc will experience disease recurrence .
pulmonary metastases ( pm ) have been reported in approximately 10% to 25% of patients with crc .
patients who underwent curative resection of crc and isolated pms had 5-year overall survival ( os ) rates of 27% to 68% [ 6 - 8 ] , whereas patients with untreated metastatic disease had a median survival of less than 10 months and a 5-year survival rate of less than 5% .
surgical resection combined with adjuvant chemotherapy is the current treatment of choice for patients with resectable pm , whereas chemotherapy is the treatment of choice for patients with unresectable pm . despite development of several novel chemotherapeutic and targeted agents for treatment of metastatic crc , which might prolong disease - free survival ( dfs ) and os ,
the long - term results have been less than satisfactory in patients with unresectable pm .
surgical resection has been accepted as the only radical treatment available for pm and has shown benefits in cases where metastases are confined to the lungs and complete resection ( r0 ) is possible .
however , the recurrence rate after pulmonary metastasectomy is still as high as 68% , with the remaining lung being the most common site of recurrence .
therefore , identification of factors prognostic of the outcomes of pulmonary metastasectomy in patients with pm from crc is important .
many factors have been reported to show association with the prognosis of patients with pm from crc who undergo pulmonary metastasectomy , including number of pulmonary lesions , patient age , stage of the primary tumor , history of liver resection , maximum tumor size , histology of the primary tumor , disease - free interval ( dfi ) between primary crc surgery and detection of pm , and carcinoembryonic antigen ( cea ) concentration .
however , these studies included small numbers of patients , patients who underwent r1 and/or r2 resection , or patients with both synchronous and metachronous lesions , and few studies have assessed therapeutic strategies in patients who develop recurrent pm after the first pulmonary metastasectomy .
this study was therefore designed to determine prognostic factors of survival in patients who underwent complete resection for metachronously developed pm .
in addition , outcomes and factors prognostic of repeated pulmonary metastasectomy for recurrent pm were analyzed .
in this study patients who underwent curative pulmonary resection for metachronous pm from crc at seoul national university bundang hospital between june 2003 and june 2011 were analyzed retrospectively .
curative pulmonary resection was defined as histologically - proven complete resection for isolated pulmonary metastatic lesions , confined to the lungs without local or extrapulmonary recurrence on computed tomography ( ct ) scans of the chest , abdomen , and pelvis and positron emission tomography ( pet ) of the entire body .
metachronous pm was defined as a new lesion detected at least 4 months after curative crc surgery , as reported in a previous study .
patients with synchronous pm and those who underwent pulmonary metastasectomy with positive margins ( r1 resection ) or gross residual disease ( r2 resection ) , or those with evidence of distant metastasis or concurrent malignancy at pretreatment work - up , except for resectable hepatic metastases , were excluded .
patients underwent physical examination and measures of serum cea levels every 3 months for 2 years , and then every 6 months for 5 to 8 years .
contrast - enhanced ct scans of the chest , abdomen , and pelvis were performed every 3 to 6 months during the first 2 years , and then every 6 to 12 months thereafter , and total colonoscopy was performed every 1 to 2 years .
pet - ct was selectively performed if needed , mainly in patients with suspected recurrence .
diagnosis of pm was based on imaging findings on chest x - ray or ct .
indeterminate lesions detected in the lungs after crc surgery were discussed by a multi - disciplinary team ( mdt ) , consisting of a colorectal surgeon , thoracic surgeon , radiologist , pathologist , and medical oncologist ; assessment by chest ct was performed 3 months later .
the onset of pm in those patients was defined as the time after crc surgery when the new pulmonary nodules were first detected .
the selection criteria for pulmonary metastasectomy were defined as described previously : ( 1 ) no evidence of uncontrolled primary site , ( 2 ) no evidence of extrathoracic metastasis , ( 3 ) chest ct showing that complete resection was possible regardless of the number of lesions , ( 4 ) tumors in the bilateral thorax not considered a contraindication , and ( 5 ) patient s general condition should be able to tolerate surgery , with remaining respiratory function sufficient for normal daily life .
further resection in patients who developed additional pm was performed according to the above - mentioned criteria .
pulmonary metastasectomy of metastatic nodules consisted of non - anatomical resection ( precision excision and wedge resection ) and anatomical resection ( segmental resection and lobectomy ) .
precision excision was defined as nonanatomical resection by application of electrocautery just beneath the lesion , leaving essentially all normal lung tissue .
wedge resection through thoracotomy or video - assisted thoracic surgery was the procedure of choice , although lobectomy was performed on metastatic lesions located deep within the pulmonary parenchyma .
all specimens were fixed in formalin and sectioned in the oblique coronal plane to include the largest plane of the tumor , and all sections were stained with hematoxylin and eosin , followed by examination by light microscopy .
factors recorded included patient age , sex , body mass index , primary tumor location , presence of liver metastases , tumor staging , histology of the primary tumor , neoadjuvant and/or adjuvant chemoradiotherapy for primary crc , dfi between initial resection of the primary crc and detection of pm , number and maximal diameter of pms , distribution of pms , types of resection performed , mediastinal ln dissection and involvement , chemotherapy after pulmonary metastasectomy , and os and dfs . in addition ,
os and dfs in patients with recurrent pm , defined as a new pulmonary nodule or development of a tumor after initial pulmonary metastasectomy , were measured from the time of the first pulmonary metastasectomy to the time of death or recurrence .
dfi and recurrent dfi were dichotomized according to < 12 months and 12 months , as reported in a previous study .
the sizes of all metastatic tumors were dichotomized as 20 mm and > 20 mm .
the kaplan - meier method and log rank test were used for evaluation of the prognostic effect of each variable on survival and l multivariable cox proportional hazards regression analysis was performed for analysis of factors related to survival .
patients were subgrouped according to factors significantly prognostic of dfs , and rates of survival and recurrent pm in the subgroups were compared .
categorical variables were analyzed using the chi - squre test or fisher exact test , and continuous variables were compared using student s t test .
this study was approved by the ethics review board at seoul national university bundang hospital , korea .
between june 2003 and june 2011 , 2,529 patients underwent curative crc surgery at our hospital . of these , 167 patients ( 6.6% ) developed pm , including 54 patients ( 2.1% ) with synchronous and 113 patients ( 4.5% ) with metachronous lesions .
of the latter 113 patients , 94 patients underwent pulmonary metastasectomy for metachronous pm , and 36 of 39 referred patients with metachronous pm who underwent crc surgery at other hospitals underwent curative pulmonary metastasectomy at our hospital during the study period .
following exclusion of eight patients who underwent r1 or r2 resection , 122 patients were eligible for analysis .
there were significant differences in baseline characteristics between patients with synchronous pm and those with metachronous pm according to tumor stage of crc , adjuvant therapy for crc , number of prior regimens , and number and distribution of pm ( table 1 ) .
the median interval between primary crc surgery and pulmonary metastasectomy in patients with synchronous and metachronous pm was 1.5 months ( range , 0 to 25 months ) and 24.0 months ( rang , 4 to 86 months ) , respectively .
however , there was no difference in survival rate between the two groups ; the 5-year os rates were 65.6% and 66.9% ( p=0.57 ) , respectively ; the 5-year dfs rates were 40.8% and 50.9% ( p=0.26),respectively .
the mean age of patients with metachronous pm was 61.311.2 years , and 83 patients ( 68.0% ) were male .
serum cea level was available in 102/122 ( 83.6% ) patients , and missing in 20 cases because the patients had been referred .
of these , 64 patients had a normal serum cea level , whereas 38 patients had a high serum cea level .
the primary crc was located in the colon in 55 patients ( 45.1% ) , and 14 patients ( 11.5% ) underwent curative hepatic resection for liver metastases during crc surgery .
seventy - seven patients ( 63.1% ) had solitary pm , and the median maximum tumor size was 12.0 cm ( range , 2 to 70 cm ) .
the types of pulmonary resection included precision excision ( 28.7% ) , wedge resection ( 45.1% ) , segmental resection ( 9.8% ) , and lobectomy ( 16.4% ) .
mediastinal ln dissection was performed in 52 patients ( 42.6% ) , and eight of 52 patients ( 15.4% ) had mediastinal ln involvement .
a total of 111 patients ( 91.0% ) received chemotherapy after pulmonary metastasectomy ; 97 patients ( 79.5% ) received a cytotoxic agent only , and 14 patients ( 11.5% ) received a cytotoxic agent with a targeted agent ( table 1 ) . the median follow - up period after the first pulmonary metastasectomy was 27.5 months ( range , 1 to 104 months ) .
a total of 48 patients ( 39.3% ) had developed recurrent pm after initial pulmonary metastasectomy , including 39 patients with recurrent pulmonary metastases confined to the lungs and nine patients with multiple systemic metastases .
of 39 patients with pulmonary recurrence , only 10 patients had recurrences at previous resection sites .
pulmonary recurrence in the ipsilateral lung was detected in 12 patients , contralateral in 13 , and bilateral in four .
dfi , number of pms , distribution of pms , and mediastinal ln involvement were significantly prognostic of dfs .
in multivariable analysis , dfi 12 months , solitary lesions , and absence of mediastinal ln were independently prognostic of dfs ( table 2 ) .
the 5-year os rate in patients with recurrent pm was 56.3% , and the median dfi for recurrent pm after the first pulmonary metastasectomy was 13.0 months ( range , 1 to 38 months ) .
of the 48 patients with recurrent pm , 39 patients ( 81.2% ) underwent repeated pulmonary metastasectomy .
in univariable analysis dfi of recurrent pm , number of pms , and distribution of metastases were significantly prognostic of os , whereas mediastinal ln involvement and chemotherapy after pulmonary metastasectomy were not significantly prognostic of os . in multivariable analysis ,
dfi of recurrent pm was the only factor independently prognostic of os in patients who underwent repeat pulmonary metastasectomy ( table 3 ) .
patients were divided into two subgroups according to dfi and number of pms . the high - risk group ( n=70 ) was defined as patients with dfi < 12 months , or multiple lesions , or mediastinal ln involvement , and the low - risk group ( n=52 ) as patients with dfi 12 months , solitary lesions , and absence of mediastinal ln involvement .
the median dfi in the high- and low - risk groups was 15.0 months ( range , 4 to 83 months ) and 28.0 months ( range , 13 to 85 months ) , respectively .
the median number of pms was 2.0 ( range , 2 to 14 ) in the high - risk group .
of 70 patients ( 54.3% ) in the high - risk group , 38 patients developed recurrent pm after initial pulmonary metastasectomy compared with 10 of 52 ( 19.2% ) in the low - risk group ( p < 0.001 ) .
development of recurrent pm occurred within 12 months in 16 of 38 patients ( 42.1% ) in the high - risk group , compared with three of 10 ( 30.0% ) in the low - risk group .
the high- and low - risk groups differed significantly in stage of crc , distribution of pm and recurrent pm , whereas there was no significant difference in the percentage who received adjuvant chemotherapy ( table 4 ) . os and
this study demonstrates the potential benefit of curative pulmonary metastasectomy for survival in patients with metachronous pm from crc .
our results showed that dfi , number of pulmonary lesions , and mediastinal ln involvement were independent prognostic factors in patients with crc who underwent curative pulmonary metastasectomy .
in addition , better survival rates were observed for patients with recurrent pm 12 months compared to those who developed recurrent pm < 12 months after pulmonary metastasectomy .
we observed 5-year os and dfs rates of 66.4% and 50.9% , respectively ; this os rate is at the high end of the range of previously reported 5-year os rates ( 30% to 68% ) .
however , the current study only included patients with metachronous lesions who underwent r0 resection .
these findings suggest that patients should be carefully selected by strict multimodal assessment of the probability of r0 pulmonary metastasectomy .
various factors , including number of pulmonary lesions , patient age , stage of the primary tumor , history of liver resection , maximum tumor size , histology of the primary tumor , dfi , and cea level , have been associated with the prognosis of patients who undergo pulmonary metastasectomy ; however , the results remain controversial because of the heterogeneity of selection criteria and variations in multimodal treatment .
therefore , only patients with metachronous pm who underwent r0 resection were assessed , since it is important to determine whether pulmonary resection offers a chance of cure .
there is no definite consensus regarding synchronous and metachronous pm . in previous studies lesions detected prior to or within 3 months after crc surgery
were defined as synchronous pm , whereas in some studies lesions detected at least 6 months after the primary resection were defined as synchronous pm . the first opportunity for follow - up imaging study usually occurred at 3 months after the primary crc surgery
; therefore , metachronous pm was defined as a new lesion detected at least 4 months after primary crc surgery .
dfi has been reported to be prognostic of pulmonary metastasectomy for pm from crc ; however , various cut - off values have been used to define short dfi , and the correlation between dfi and survival rate was not determined in several studies .
the mechanism underlying this finding may be related to the time of detection of disease progression , or earlier metastasis may represent a more disseminated disease and tendency to spread than later metastasis .
our results showed that dfi was independently prognostic of pulmonary metastasectomy for pm . therefore , careful follow - up is required after pulmonary metastasectomy for patients who develop pm less than 1 year after primary tumor resection .
similar to previous studies , we observed significantly better prognosis for patients with a solitary pulmonary lesion than for those with multiple lesions , although several studies found no significant association between prognosis and number of pms .
multiple lesions may increase the likelihood of widespread undetected tiny nodules throughout the lungs or even in other distant organs .
therefore , meticulous preoperative staging for pm is critical in detection of occult metastatic lesions .
several studies suggested an association of mediastinal ln involvement with an increased risk of death and a meta - analysis showed poor 5-year survival in the group with ln involvement ( range , 0% to 33.5% ) compared to those with no thoracic ln metastases ( range , 38.7% to 71% ) .
our results showed that mediastinal ln involvement was a significantly prognostic factor for dfs in univariable and multivariable analysis , although there were no differences in dfs between patients who underwent mediastinal ln dissection and those who did not .
therefore , we suggest that mediastinal ln dissection could be performed in patients with expected ln involvement who show an enlarged ln on preoperative chest ct or hypermetabolic lesion on pet - ct .
this study also identified a subgroup of patients , based on dfi and number of pms , who are expected to benefit most from pulmonary metastasectomy .
a significantly higher recurrent pm rate was observed in the high risk group compared with the low - risk group ( 54.3% vs. 19.2% , p < 0.001 ) , suggesting that pulmonary metastasectomy might have the greatest benefit in the low - risk group .
careful attentive surveillance based on a regular follow - up schedule may result in early identification of these patients .
repeated pulmonary metastasectomy has been found to offer a chance for long - term survival to patients with prolonged dfi after initial pulmonary metastasectomy , a solitary recurrent pulmonary lesion , and normal cea level .
in addition , a recent meta - analysis reported a 5-year survival rate of 57.9% for patients who underwent repeated pulmonary metastasectomy , perhaps because these patients were highly selected , based on initial resection of pm . in our study a better prognosis was observed for patients with longer recurrent dfi than for patients with shorter recurrent dfi , whereas os rate was not affected by treatment of recurrent pm with chemotherapy and surgical intervention . therefore , repeated pulmonary metastasectomy in selected patients in whom the capacity of the remnant lung parenchyma could be preserved after resection may be a valuable alternative to palliative chemotherapy .
there was no definite consensus regarding recurrent dfi of recurrent pm , as dfi after the first pulmonary metastasectomy .
park et al . reported that recurrent dfi was dichotomized before and after 12 months , whereas two other studies could not set the cut - off value of recurrent dfi , in which median recurrent dfi was 14 months ( range , 4.0 to 29.0 months ) and 16.8 months ( range , 2.0 to 38.2 months ) , respectively .
our results showed a median recurrent dfi of 13.0 months ( range , 4.0 to 31.0 months ) .
therefore , we used the cut - off value of 12 months for recurrent dfi , as reported in a previous study .
similar to the number of pms , bilateral pm and larger pm size may indicate a greater likelihood of the presence of other undetectable metastatic lesions .
however , in a previous study bilateral pm had no effect on os , and most studies found no significant association between survival and pm size .
these findings suggest that bilateral pm and larger pm size that can be completely resected are not contraindications for pulmonary metastasectomy .
several studies have reported better survival outcomes for patients with metachronous pm compared to those with synchronous pm , the latter being considered more aggressive ; however , it remains controversial . in the current study , it did not appear that patients treated with metachronous pm had longer survival compared to those with synchronous pm , although patients with synchronous pm had more aggressive primary tumor stage , multiple pms , and bilateral pms .
this might be due to the fact that only patients who underwent pulmonary metastasectomy for synchronous pm were included , because of the study limitation by retrospective design .
nevertheless , survival outcomes did not differ between patients who underwent pulmonary metastasectomy for synchronous pm and those who underwent pulmonary metastasectomy for metachronous pm .
therefore , pulmonary metastasectomy might be feasible in selected patients with either synchronous or metachronous pm .
previous studies have reported on the usefulness of chest ct scan for detection of lung nodules , with > 70% sensitivity for detection of suspicious pulmonary metastatic nodules from crc .
however , it does not appear to show correlation with an equal specificity , which may cause difficulty in interpreting the nature of a pulmonary lesion , because pathologic confirmation is too difficult or occasionally risky in most cases , particularly for small lesions .
therefore , we have used the regular follow - up program for patients with pm from crc in accordance with national comprehensive cancer network guidelines , and treatment decisions were made by the mdt .
first , there was a potential for selection bias , compounded by the retrospective design .
inclusion of patients was highly selective , with presumed good performance status , and fewer comorbidities , which might have contributed to the demonstrated long - term survival .
second , in this study chemotherapy after pulmonary metastasectomy did not appear to be significantly prognostic of os , which may affect survival rate . nevertheless , surgical resection of pm and recurrent pm after primary pulmonary metastasectomy was feasible for patients with or without systemic chemotherapy .
in addition , we identified prognostic factors of survival in patients who underwent complete resection for metachronously developed pm , and divided them according to high- and low - risk groups using these factors .
in conclusion , there is a potential survival benefit for patients with metachronous pm from crc who undergo pulmonary metastasectomy , even those with recurrent pulmonary metastases .
these findings suggest that pulmonary metastasectomy might benefit carefully selected patients , particularly those with longer dfi , solitary lesions , and absence of mediastinal ln involvement . | pubmed |
The House of Orange-Nassau Dutch: Huis van Oranje-Nassau, , a branch of the European House of Nassau, has played a central role in the politics and government of the Netherlands and Europe especially since William the Silent organized the Dutch revolt against Spanish rule, which after the Eighty Years' War 15681648 led to an independent Dutch state.
Several members of the house served during this war and after as stadtholder governor; Dutch: stadhouder during the Dutch Republic. However, in 1815, after a long period as a republic, the Netherlands became a monarchy under the House of Orange-Nassau.
The dynasty was established as a result of the marriage of Henry III of Nassau-Breda from Germany and Claudia of Châlon-Orange from French Burgundy in 1515. Their son René inherited in 1530 the independent and sovereign Principality of Orange from his mother's brother, Philibert of Châlon. As the first Nassau to be the Prince of Orange, René could have used Orange-Nassau as his new family name. However, his uncle, in his will, had stipulated that René should continue the use of the name Châlon-Orange. History knows him therefore as René of Châlon. After the death of René in 1544, his cousin William of Nassau-Dillenburg inherited all of his lands. This William I of Orange, in English better known as William the Silent, became the founder of the House of Orange-Nassau.
The House of Nassau
Nassau Castle was founded around 1100 by Dudo, Count of Laurenburg, the founder of the House of Nassau. In 1120, Dudo's sons and successors, Counts Rupert I and Arnold I, established themselves at Nassau Castle, taking for themselves the title Count of Nassau. In 1255 the Nassau possessions were split between Walram and Otto, the sons of Count Henry II. The descendants of Walram were known as the Walram Line, and they became Dukes of Nassau and, in 1890, Grand Dukes of Luxembourg. This line also included Adolph of Nassau, who was elected King of the Romans in 1292. The descendants of Otto became known as the Ottonian Line, and they inherited parts of the County of Nassau, as well as properties in France and the Netherlands.
The House of Orange-Nassau stems from the younger Ottonian Line. The first of this line to establish himself in the Netherlands was John I, Count of Nassau-Dillenburg, who married Margareta of the Marck. The real founder of the Nassau fortunes in the Netherlands was John's son, Engelbert I. He became counsellor to the Burgundian Dukes of Brabant, first to Anton of Burgundy, and later to his son Jan IV of Brabant. He also would later serve Philip the Good. In 1403, he married the Dutch noblewoman Johanna van Polanen and so inherited lands in the Netherlands, with the Barony of Breda as the core of the Dutch possessions and the family fortune.
A nobleman's power was often based on his ownership of vast tracts of land and lucrative offices. It also helped that much of the lands that the House of Orange-Nassau controlled sat under one of the commercial and mercantile centers of the world see below under Lands and Titles. The importance of the family grew throughout the 15th and 16th centuries as they became councilors, generals and stadholders of the Habsburgs see armorial of the great nobles of the Burgundian Netherlands and List of Knights of the Golden Fleece. Engelbert II of Nassau served Charles the Bold and Maximilian I, Holy Roman Emperor, who had married Charles's daughter Mary of Burgundy. In 1496, he was appointed stadtholder of Flanders and by 1498 he had been named President of the Grand Conseil. In 1501, Maximilian named him Lieutenant-General of the Seventeen Provinces of the Netherlands. From that point forward until his death in 1504, Engelbert was the principal representative of the Habsburg Empire to the region. Hendrik III of Nassau-Breda was appointed stadtholder of Holland and Zeeland by Charles of Ghent in the beginning of the 16th century. Hendrik was succeeded by his son René of Châlon-Orange in 1538, who had inherited the title of Prince of Orange and the principality of that name from his maternal uncle Philibert of Chalon. René died prematurely on the battlefield in 1544. His possessions, including the principality and title, passed by his will as sovereign prince to his paternal cousin, William I of Orange. From then on, the family members called themselves Orange-Nassau.
The Dutch rebellion
Although Charles V pretended to resist the Protestant Reformation, he ruled the Dutch territories wisely with moderation and regard for local customs, and he did not persecute his Protestant subjects on a large scale. His son Philip II inherited his antipathy for the Protestants but not his moderation. Under the reign of Philip, a true persecution of Protestants was initiated and taxes were raised to an outrageous level. Discontent arose and William of Orange with his vague Lutheran childhood stood up for the Protestant mainly Calvinist inhabitants of the Netherlands. Things went badly after the Eighty Years' War started in 1568, but luck turned to his advantage when Protestant rebels attacking from the North Sea captured Brielle, a coastal town in present-day South Holland in 1572. Many cities in Holland began to support William. During the 1570s he had to defend his core territories in Holland several times, but in the 1580s the inland cities in Holland were secure. William of Orange was considered a threat to Spanish rule in the area and was assassinated in 1584 by a hired killer sent by Philip.
William was succeeded by his second son Maurits, a Protestant who proved an excellent military commander. His abilities as a commander and the lack of strong leadership in Spain after the death of Philip II 1598 gave Maurits excellent opportunities to conquer large parts of the present-day Dutch territory.
In 1585 Maurits was elected stadtholder of the Provinces of Holland and Zealand as his father's successor and as a counterpose to Elizabeth's delegate, the Earl of Leicester. In 1587 he was appointed captain-general military commander-in-chief of the armies of the Dutch Republic. In the early years of the 17th century there arose quarrels between stadtholder and oligarchist regentsa group of powerful merchants led by Johan van Oldebarneveltbecause Maurits wanted more powers in the Republic. Maurits won this power struggle by arranging the judicial murder of Oldebarnevelt.
Expansion of dynastic power
Maurits died unmarried in 1625 and left no legitimate children. He was succeeded by his half-brother Frederick Henry Dutch: Frederik Hendrik, youngest son of William I. Maurits urged his successor on his deathbed to marry as soon as possible. A few weeks after Maurits's death, he married Amalia van Solms-Braunfels.
Frederick Henry and Amalia were the parents of a son and several daughters. These daughters were married to important noble houses such as the house of Hohenzollern, but also to the Frisian Nassaus, who were stadtholders in Friesland. His only son, William, married Mary, Princess Royal and Princess of Orange, the eldest daughter of Charles I of Scotland and England. These dynastic moves were the work of Amalia.
Exile and resurgence
Frederick Henry died in 1647 and his son succeeded him. As the Treaty of Munster was about to be signed, thereby ending the Eighty Years' War, William tried to maintain the powers he had in wartime as military commander. These would necessarily be diminished in peacetime as the army would be reduced, along with his income. This met with great opposition from the regents. When Andries Bicker and Cornelis de Graeff, the great regents of the city of Amsterdam refused some mayors he appointed, he besieged Amsterdam. The siege provoked the wrath of the regents. William died of smallpox on November 6, 1650, leaving only a posthumous son, William III *November 14, 1650. Since the Prince of Orange upon the death of William II, William III, was an infant, the regents used this opportunity to leave the stadtholdership vacant. This inaugurated the era in Dutch history that is known as the First Stadtholderless Period. A quarrel about the education of the young prince arose between his mother and his grandmother Amalia who outlived her husband by 28 years. Amalia wanted an education which was pointed at the resurgence of the House of Orange to power, but Mary wanted a pure English education. The Estates of Holland, under Jan de Witt and Cornelis de Graeff, meddled in the education and made William a child of state to be educated by the state. The doctrine used in this education was keeping William from the throne. William became indeed very docile to the wishes of the regents and the Estates.
The Dutch Republic was attacked by France and England in 1672. The military function of stadtholder was no longer superfluous, and with the support of the Orangists, William was restored, and he became the stadtholder. William successfully repelled the invasion and seized royal power. He became more powerful than his predecessors from the Eighty Years' War. In 1677, William married his cousin Mary Stuart, the daughter of the future king James II of England. In 1688, William embarked on a mission to depose his Catholic father-in-law from the thrones of England, Scotland and Ireland. He and his wife were crowned the King and Queen of England on April 11, 1689. With the accession to the thrones of the three kingdoms, he became one of the most powerful sovereigns in Europe, and the only one to defeat Louis XIV of France. William III died childless after a riding accident on March 8, 1702, leaving the main male line of the House of Orange extinct, and leaving Scotland, England and Ireland to his sister-in-law Queen Anne.
The second stadtholderless era
The regents found that they had suffered under the powerful leadership of King William III and left the stadtholderate vacant for the second time. As William III died childless in 1702 the principality became a matter of dispute between Prince John William Friso of Nassau-Dietz of the Frisian Nassaus and King Frederick I of Prussia, who both claimed the title Prince of Orange. Both descended from Frederick Henry, Prince of Orange. The King of Prussia was his grandson through his mother, Countess Luise Henriette of Nassau. Frederick Henry in his will had appointed this line as successor in the case the main House of Orange-Nassau would die out. John William Friso was a great-grandson of Frederick Henry through Countess Albertine Agnes of Nassau, another daughter and was appointed heir in William III's will. The principality was captured by the forces of King Louis XIV of France under François Adhémar de Monteil, Count of Grignan, in the Franco-Dutch War in 1672, and again in August 1682. With the Treaty of Utrecht that ended the wars of Louis XIV, the territory was formally ceded to France by Frederick I in 1713. John William Friso drowned in 1711 in the Hollands Diep near Moerdijk, and he left his posthumously born son William IV, Prince of Orange. That son succeeded at that time his father as stadtholder in Friesland as the stadtholderate had been hereditary in that province since 1664, and Groningen. William IV was proclaimed the stadtholder of Guelders, Overijssel, and Utrecht in 1722. When the French invaded Holland in 1747, William IV was appointed stadtholder in Holland and Zeeland also. The stadtholderate was made hereditary in both the male and the female lines in all provinces at the same time.
The end of the stadtholderate
William IV died in 1751, leaving his three-year-old son, William V, as the stadtholder. Since William V was still a minor, the regents reigned for him. He grew up to be an indecisive person, a character defect which would come to haunt William V his whole life.
His marriage to Wilhelmina of Prussia relieved this defect to some degree. In 1787, Willem V survived an attempt to depose him by the Patriots anti-Orangist revolutionaries after the Kingdom of Prussia intervened. When the French invaded Holland in 1795, William V was forced into exile, and he was never to return alive to Holland.
After 1795, the House of Orange-Nassau faced a difficult period, surviving in exile at other European courts, especially those of Prussia and England. Following the recognition of the Batavian Republic by the 1801 Oranienstein Letters, William V's son William VI renounced the stadtholdership in 1802. In return, he received a few territories like the Free Imperial City of Dortmund, Corvey Abbey and Diocese of Fulda from First Consul Napoleon Bonaparte of the French Republic Treaty of Amiens, which was established as the Principality of Nassau-Orange-Fulda. William V died in 1806.
The Monarchy since 1815
A new spirit: the United Kingdom of the Netherlands
After a repressed Dutch rebel action, Prussian and Cossack troops drove out the French in 1813, with the support of the Patriots of 1785. A provisional government was formed, most of whose members had helped drive out William V 18 years earlier. However, they were realistic enough to realize that any new government would have to be headed by William V's son, William Frederick William VI. All agreed that it would be better in the long term for the Dutch to restore William themselves rather than have him imposed by the allies.
At the invitation of the provisional government, William Frederick returned to the Netherlands on November 30. This move was strongly supported by the United Kingdom, which sought ways to strengthen the Netherlands and deny future French aggressors easy access to the Low Countries' Channel ports. The provisional government offered William the crown. He refused, believing that a stadholdership would give him more power. Thus, on December 6, William proclaimed himself hereditary sovereign prince of the Netherlandssomething between a kingship and a stadholdership. In 1814, he was awarded sovereignty over the Austrian Netherlands and the Prince-Bishopric of Liège as well. On March 15, 1815 with the support of the powers gathered at the Congress of Vienna, William proclaimed himself King William I. He was also made grand duke of Luxembourg, and to assuage French sensitivity by distancing the title from the now-defunct principality the title 'Prince of Orange' was changed to 'Prince of Oranje'.
The two countries remained separate despite sharing a common monarch. William had thus fulfilled the House of Orange's three-century quest to unite the Low Countries.
As king of the United Kingdom of the Netherlands, William tried to establish one common culture. This provoked resistance in the southern parts of the country, which had been culturally separate from the north since 1581. He was considered an enlightened despot.
The Prince of Orange held rights to Nassau lands Dillenburg, Dietz, Beilstein, Hadamar, Siegen in central Germany. On the other hand, the King of Prussia, Frederick William IIIbrother-in-law and first cousin of William I, had beginning from 1813 managed to establish his rule in Luxembourg, which he regarded as his inheritance from Anne, Duchess of Luxembourg who had died over three centuries earlier. At the Congress of Vienna, the two brothers-in-law agreed to a tradeFrederick William received William I's ancestral lands while William I received Luxembourg. Both got what was geographically nearer to their center of power.
In 1830, most of the southern portion of William's realmthe former Austrian Netherlands and Prince-Bishopricdeclared independence as Belgium. William fought a disastrous war until 1839 when he was forced to settle for peace. With his realm halved, he decided to abdicate in 1840 in favour of his son, William II. Although William II shared his father's conservative inclinations, in 1848 he accepted an amended constitution that significantly curbed his own authority and transferred the real power to the States General. He took this step to prevent the Revolution of 1848 from spreading to his country.
William III and the threat of extinction
William II died in 1849. He was succeeded by his son, William III. A rather conservative, even reactionary man, William III was sharply opposed to the new 1848 constitution. He continually tried to form governments that were dependent on his support, even though it was prohibitively difficult for a government to stay in office against the will of Parliament. In 1868, he tried to sell Luxembourg to France, which was the source of a quarrel between Prussia and France.
William III had a rather unhappy marriage with Sophie of Württemberg, and his heirs died young. This raised the possibility of the extinction of the House of Orange-Nassau. After the death of Queen Sophie in 1877, William remarried, to Emma of Waldeck and Pyrmont in 1879. One year later, Queen Emma gave birth to their daughter and the royal heiress, Wilhelmina.
A modern monarchy
Wilhelmina was queen of the Netherlands for 58 years, from 1890 to 1948. Because she was only 10 years old in 1890, her mother, Emma of Waldeck and Pyrmont, was the regent until Wilhelmina's 18th birthday in 1898. Since females were not allowed to hold power in Luxembourg, due to Salic law, Luxembourg passed to the House of Nassau-Weilburg, a collateral line to the House of Orange-Nassau. For a time, it appeared that the Dutch royal family would die with Wilhelmina. Her half-brother, Prince Alexander, had died in 1884, and no royal babies were born from then until Wilhelmina gave birth to her only child, Juliana, in 1909. The Dutch royal house remained quite small until the latter 1930s and the early 1940s, during which Juliana gave birth to four daughters. Although the House of Orange died out in its male line with the death of Queen Wilhelmina, the name Orange continues to be used by the Dutch royalty and as evidenced in many patriotic songs, such as Oranje boven.
The Netherlands remained neutral in World War I, during her reign, and the country was not invaded by Germany, as neighboring Belgium was.
Nevertheless, Queen Wilhelmina became a symbol of the Dutch resistance during World War II. The moral authority of the Monarchy was restored because of her rule. After 58 years on the throne as the Queen, Wilhelmina decided to abdicate in favour of her daughter, Juliana. Juliana had the reputation of making the monarchy less aloof, and under her reign the Monarchy became known as the cycling monarchy. Members of the royal family were often seen bicycling through the cities and the countryside under Juliana.
A royal marriage policy quarrel occurred starting in 1966 when Juliana's eldest daughter, the future Queen Beatrix, decided to marry Claus von Amsberg, a German diplomat. The marriage of a member of the royal family to a German was quite controversial in the Netherlands, which had suffered under Nazi German occupation in 194045. This reluctance to accept a German consort probably was exacerbated by von Amsberg's former membership in the Hitler Youth under the Nazi regime in his native country, and also his following service in the German Wehrmacht. Beatrix needed permission from the government to marry anyone if she wanted to remain heiress to the throne, but after some argument, it was granted. As the years went by, Prince Claus was fully accepted by the Dutch people. In time, he became one of the most popular members of the Dutch monarchy, and his death in 2002 was widely mourned.
On April 30, 1980, Queen Juliana abdicated in favor of her daughter, Beatrix. In the early years of the twenty-first century, the Dutch monarchy remained popular with a large part of the population. Beatrix's eldest son, Willem-Alexander, was born on April 27, 1967; the first immediate male heir to the Dutch throne since the death of his great-granduncle, Prince Alexander, in 1884. Willem-Alexander married Máxima Zorreguieta, an Argentine banker, in 2002; the first commoner to ever marry an heir apparent to the Dutch throne. They are parents of three daughters: Catharina-Amalia, Alexia, and Ariane. After a long struggle with neurological illness, Queen Juliana died on March 20, 2004, and her husband, Prince Bernhard, died on December 1 of that same year.
Upon Beatrix's abdication on April 30, 2013, the Prince of Orange was inaugurated as King Willem-Alexander, becoming the Netherlands' first male ruler since 1890. His eldest daughter, Catharina-Amalia, as heiress apparent to the throne, became Princess of Orange in her own right.
Net worth
Unlike other royal houses, there has always been a separation in the Netherlands between what was owned by the state and used by the House of Orange in their offices as monarch, or previously, stadtholder, and the personal investments and fortune of the House of Orange.
As monarch, the King or Queen has use of, but not ownership of, the Huis ten Bosch as a residence and Noordeinde Palace as a work palace. In addition, the Royal Palace of Amsterdam is also at the disposal of the monarch although it is only used for state visits and is open to the public when not in use for that purpose, as is Soestdijk Palace which is open to the public and not in official use at all at this time. The crown jewels, comprising the crown, orb and sceptre, Sword of State, royal banner, and ermine mantle have been placed in the Crown Property Trust. The trust also holds the items used on ceremonial occasions, such as the carriages, table silver, and dinner services. The Royal House is also exempt from income, inheritance, and personal tax.
The House of Orange has long had the reputation of being one of the wealthier royal houses in the world, largely due to their business investments in Royal Dutch Shell, Philips Electronics company , KLM-Royal Dutch Airlines, and the Holland-America Line. How significant these investments are is a matter of conjecture, as their private finances, unlike their public stipends as monarch, are not open to public scrutiny.
As late as 2001, the fortune of the Royal Family was estimated by various sources Forbes magazine at $3.2 billion. Most of the wealth was reported to come from the family's longstanding stake in the Royal Dutch/Shell Group. At one time, the Oranges reportedly owned as much as 25 of the oil company; their stake is in 2001 was estimated at a minimum of 2, worth $2.7 billion on the May 21 cutoff date for the Billionaires issue. The family also was estimated to have a 1 stake in financial services firm ABN-AMRO.
The royal family's fortune seems to have been hit by declines in real estate and equities after 2008. They were also rumored to have lost up to $100 million when Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme collapsed, though the royal house denies the allegations. In 2009, Forbes estimated Queen Beatrix's wealth at US$300 million. This could also have been due to splitting the fortune between Queen Beatrix and her 3 sisters, as there is no right of the eldest to inherit the whole property. A surge in export revenue, recovery in real estate and strong stock market have helped steady royal familys fortunes, but uncertainty over the new government and future austerity measures needed to bring budget deficits in line may dampen future prospects. In July 2010, Forbes magazine estimated her net worth at $200 million This estimate was unchanged in April 2011.
Stadtholderate under the House of Orange-Nassau
Stadtholderate under the House of Nassau
Note:
Principality of the Netherlands 18131815
Kingdom of the Netherlands 1815present
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The Royal Family and the Royal House
A distinction is made in the Netherlands between the royal family and the Royal House.
The royal family is the Orange-Nassau family.
However, not every member of the family is also a member of the Royal House. By Act of Parliament, the members of the Royal House are:
the monarch King or Queen;
the former monarch on abdication;
the members of the royal family in the line of succession to the throne, limited to the second degree of sanguinity reckoned from the reigning monarch;
H.R.H. Princess Margriet of the Netherlands, for whom an exception was made;
the spouses of the above.
Members of the Royal House lose their membership and designation as prince or princess of the Netherlands if they lose the membership of the Royal House on the succession of a new monarch not being in the second degree of sanguinity to the monarch anymore, or marry without the consent of the Dutch Parliament. For example, this happened with Prince Friso in 2004, when he married Mabel Wisse Smit. This is written down in the law of membership of the Royal House, 2002.
Family tree
The lineage of the House of Nassau can be traced back to the 10th century.
A detailed family tree can be found here. A detailed family tree of the House of Orange-Nassau from the 15th century can be found on the Dutch Wikipedia at Dutch monarchs family tree.
A summary family tree of the House of Orange-Nassau from the joining of the house of Nassau-Breda/Dillenburg and the House of Châlon-Arlay-Orange to the end of the Dutch Republic is shown below. The family spawned many famous statesmen and generals, including two of the acknowledged first captains of their age, Maurice of Nassau and the Marshal de Turenne.
The house of Orange-Nassau was relatively unlucky in establishing a hereditary dynasty in an age that favoured hereditary rule. The Stuarts and the Bourbons came to power at the same time as the Oranges, the Vasas and Oldenburgs were able to establish a hereditary kingship in Sweden and Denmark, and the Hohenzollerns were able to set themselves on a course to the rule of Germany. The House of Orange was no less gifted than those houses, in fact, some might argue more so, as their ranks included some the foremost statesmen and captains of the time. Although the institutions of the United Provinces became more republican and entrenched as time went on, William the Silent had been offered the countship of Holland and Zealand, and only his assassination prevented his accession to those offices. This fact did not go unforgotten by his successors.
The Prince of Orange was also not just another noble among equals in the Netherlands. First, he was the traditional leader of the nation in war and in rebellion against Spain. He was uniquely able to transcend the local issues of the cities, towns and provinces. He was also a sovereign ruler in his own right see Prince of Orange article. This gave him a great deal of prestige, even in a republic. He was the center of a real court like the Stuarts and Bourbons, French speaking, and extravagant to a scale. It was natural for foreign ambassadors and dignitaries to present themselves to him and consult with him as well as to the States General to which they were officially credited. The marriage policy of the princes, allying themselves twice with the Royal Stuarts, also gave them acceptance into the royal caste of rulers.
Besides showing the relationships among the family, the tree above then also points out an extraordinary run of bad luck. In the 211 years from the death of William the Silent to the conquest by France, there was only one time that a son directly succeeded his father as Prince of Orange, Stadholder and Captain-General without a minority William II. When the Oranges were in power, they also tended to settle for the actualities of power, rather than the appearances, which increasingly tended to upset the ruling regents of the towns and cities. On being offered the dukedom of Gelderland by the States of that province, William III let the offer lapse as liable to raise too much opposition in the other provinces.
The main house of Orange-Nassau also spawned several illegitimate branches. These branches contributed to the political and economic history of England and the Netherlands. Justinus van Nassau was the only extramarital child of William of Orange. He was a Dutch army commander known for unsuccessfully defending Breda against the Spanish, and the depiction of his surrender on the famous picture by Diego Velázquez, The Surrender of Breda. Louis of Nassau, Lord of De Lek and Beverweerd was a younger illegitimate son of Prince Maurice and Margaretha van Mechelen. His descendants were later created Counts of Nassau-LaLecq. One of his sons was the famous general Henry de Nassau, Lord of Overkirk, King William III's Master of the Horse, and one of the most trusted generals of John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough. His descendants became the Earls of Grantham in England. Frederick van Nassau, Lord of Zuylestein, an illegitimate son of Frederick Henry, Prince of Orange, gave rise to the Earls of Rochford in England. The 4th earl of Rochford was a famous English diplomat and a statesman.
In 1814, William VI of Orange became King of the Netherlands. The institution of the monarch in the Netherlands is considered an office under the Dutch Constitution. There are none of the religious connotations to the office as in some other monarchies. A Dutch sovereign is inaugurated rather than crowned in a coronation ceremony. It was initially more of a crowned/hereditary presidency, and a continuation of the status quo ante of the pre-1795 hereditary stadholderate in the Republic. In practice today, the monarch has considerably less power. This summary genealogical tree shows how the current Royal house of Orange-Nassau is related:
Coats of Arms
See also: Coat of arms of the Netherlands
The gallery below show the coats of arms used by members of the house of Orange-Nassau. Their growing complexity and use of crowns shows how arms are used to reflect the growing political position and royal aspirations of the family. A much more complete armorial is given at the Armorial of the House of Nassau, and another one at Wapen van Nassau, Tak van Otto at the Dutch Wikipedia.
The ancestral coat of arms of the Ottonian line of the house of Nassau is shown right. Their distant cousins of the Walramian line added a red coronet to distinguish them. There is no specific documentation in the literature on the origin of the arms. The lion was always a popular noble symbol, originating as a symbol of nobility, power, and royal aspirations in western culture going all the way back to Hercules. The lion was also heavily used as a heraldic symbol in border territories and neighbouring countries of the Holy Roman Empire and France. It was in all likelihood a way of showing independence from the Holy Roman Emperor, who used an eagle in his personal arms and the King of France, who used the famous Fleur-de-lis. The lion was so heavily used in the Netherlands for various provinces and families see Leo Belgicus that it became the national arms of the Dutch Republic, its successor Kingdom of the Netherlands, Coat of Arms of Belgium, and Luxembourg. Blue, because of its nearness to purple, which in the northern climes tended to fade red was the other choice, was also a popular color for those with royal aspirations. The billets could have been anything from blocks of wood to abstractions of the reenforcements holding the shield together. The fact that these were arms were very similar to those of the counts of Burgundy Franche-Comté did not seem to cause too much confusion.
Henry III of Nassau-Breda came to the Netherlands in 1499 as heir to his uncle, Engelbrecht II of Nassau-Breda. His and his uncle's arms are shown below. When Philbert, prince of Orange died in 1530, his sister's son René of Breda inherited the Princedom of Orange on condition that he used the name and coat of arms of the Châlon-Orange family. History knows him therefore as René of Châlon instead of as René of Nassau-Breda. The 1st and 4th grand quarters show the arms of the Chalons-Arlay the gold bend princes of Orange the bugle. The blue and gold cross is the arms of Jeanne of Geneva, who married one of the Chalons princes. The 2nd and 3rd show the quarterings of Brittany and Luxembourg-St. Pol. The inescutcheon overall is his paternal arms quartered of Nassau and Breda. William the Silent's father, William the Rich, was rich only in children. He bore the arms shown below. Clockwise from upper left they displayed the arms of Nassau 1st quarter, Katzenelenbogen 3rd quarter, Dietz 2nd quarter, Vianden 4th quarter.
The princes of Orange in the 16th and 17th century used the following sets of arms. On becoming prince of Orange, William placed the Châlon-Arlay arms in the center as an inescutcheon of his father's arms. He used these arms until 1582 when he purchased the marquisate of Veere and Vlissingen. It had been the property of Philip II since 1567, but had fallen into arrears to the province. In 1580 the Court of Holland ordered it sold. William bought it as it gave him two more votes in the States of Zeeland. He owned the government of the two towns, and so could appoint their magistrates. He already had one as First Noble for Philip William, who had inherited Maartensdijk. This made William the predominant member of the States of Zeeland. It was a smaller version of the countship of Zeeland & Holland promised to William, and was a potent political base for his descendants. William then added the shield of Veere and Buren to his arms as shown in the arms of Frederick Henry, William II and William III with the arms of the marquisate in the top center, and the arms of the county of Buren in the bottom center. William also started the tradition of keeping the number of billets in the upper left quarter for Nassau at 17 to symbolize the original 17 provinces of the Burgundian/Habsburg Netherlands, which he always hoped would form one united nation.
When John William Friso became Prince of Orange, he used the arms below. However, he was never recognized outside of Holland and areas friendly to Holland as Prince of Orange. His son, William IV, recognized as Prince of Orange, seems to have used the original arms of William the Silent. When the princes of Orange fled the Netherlands during the Batavian Republic and the Kingdom of Holland, and when France occupied the Netherlands, they were compensated by Napoleon with the Principality of Nassau-Orange-Fulda. These principalities were confiscated when Napoleon invaded Germany 1806 and William VI supported his Prussian relatives. He succeeded his father as prince of Orange later that year, after William V's death. The house of Orange-Nassau also had several illegitimate lines see below who based their arms on the arms of Nassau-Dillenburg.
When William VI of Orange returned to the Netherlands in 1813 and was proclaimed Sovereign Prince of the Netherlands, he quartered the former Arms of the Dutch Republic 1st and 4th quarter with the Châlon-Orange arms 2nd and 3rd quarter, which had come to symbolize Orange. As an in escutcheon he placed his ancestral arms of Nassau. When he became King in 1815, he combined the Dutch Republic Lion with the billets of the Nassau arms and added a royal crown to form the Coat of arms of the Netherlands. In 1907, Queen Wilhelmina replaced the royal crown on the lion and the shield bearers of the arms with a coronet.
Wilhelmina further decreed that in perpetuity her descendants should be styled princes and princesses of Orange-Nassau and that the name of the house would be Orange-Nassau in Dutch Oranje-Nassau. Only those members of the members of the Dutch Royal Family that are designated to the smaller Royal House can use the title of prince or princess of the Netherlands. Since then, individual members of the House of Orange-Nassau are also given their own arms by the reigning monarch, similar to the United Kingdom. This is usually the royal arms, quartered with the arms of the principality of Orange, and an in escutcheon of their paternal arms.
As sovereign Princes, the princes of Orange used an independent prince's crown or the princely hat. Sometimes, only the coronet part was used see, here and here. After the establishment of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, and as the principality of Orange had been incorporated into France by Louis XIV, they used the Dutch Royal Crowns. The full coats of arms of the princes of Orange, later Kings of the Netherlands, incorporated the arms above, the crown, 2 lions as supporters and the motto Je maintiendrai I will maintain, the latter taken from the Chalons princes of Orange, who used Je maintiendrai Chalons.
Lands and Titles
Besides being sovereign over the principality of Orange, this is a partial listing of larger estates and titles that William the Silent and his heirs possessed, most enfeoffed to some other sovereign, either the King of France, the Habsburgs, or the States of the provinces of the Netherlands:
Marquis of Veere and Vlissingen
Count of Nassau-Dillenburg
Katzenelnbogen , Dietz , Vianden , Buren , Moers and Leerdam ,
Viscount of Antwerp
Baron of Breda , and of Aggeris, Cranendonck , Lands of Cuijk , Daesburg, Eindhoven , City of Grave , Lek , IJsselstein , Diest , Grimbergen , Herstal, Warneton, Beilstein, Bentheim-Lingen, Arlay , and Nozeroy ;
Lord of Baarn , Bredevoort , Dasburg , Geertruidenberg, Hooge en Lage Zwaluwe , Klundert, 't Loo, Montfort, Naaldwijk , Niervaart, Polanen/lands of Polanen , Steenbergen , Sint-Maartensdijk , Soest , Ter Eem, Turnhout , Willemstad , Zevenbergen , Bütgenbach, Sankt Vith , and Besançon
In most of the estates in the more populous provinces of Holland and Zealand, the land itself was secondary to the profit on the commerce that flowed through it.
Standards
The Dutch Royal Family also makes extensive use of royal standards that are based on their coats of arms, but not identical to them as the British Royal Family does. Some examples from the Royal Family's website are:
The standards of the ruling king or queen:
The standards of the current sons of the former Queen, now Princess Beatrix and their wives and the Queen's husband:
A fuller listing can be found at the Armorial de la Maison de Nassau, section Lignée Ottonienne at the French Wikipedia.
See also
For further about the Dutch Monarchy and the Dutch Royal House:
Dutch monarchy
House of Nassau
Prince of Orange
Principality of Orange
Orange Institution
William III of England
Traditionally, members of the Nassau family were buried in Breda; but because that city was in Spanish hands when William died, he was buried in a new crypt in the New Church, Delft. The monument on his tomb was originally very modest, but it was replaced in 1623 by a new one, made by Hendrik de Keyser and his son Pieter. Since then, most of the members of the House of Orange-Nassau, including all Dutch monarchs have been buried in that church. His great-grandson William the third, King of England and Scotland and Stadtholder in the Netherlands, was buried in Westminster Abbey
Crypt of the House of Orange-Nassau in Delft
Burial Monument to William the Silent
Crypt of the Frisian Nassaus in Leeuwarden
Crypt of the Nassau-LaLecqs in Ouderkerk aan den IJssel
Original Crypt of Netherland Nassaus in Breda
Crypt of Engelbrecht II van Nassau in Breda
Crypt of the Nassau-Bergens in Bergen
Crypt of the Nassau-Siegens in Siegen
In Robert A. Heinlein's 1956 science fiction novel Double Star, the House of Orange reigns over but does not rule over an empire of humanity that spans the entire Solar System.
Hofstra University
Residences of the House of Orange
References
Literature
Herbert H. Rowen, The princes of Orange: the stadholders in the Dutch Republic. Cambridge and New York: Cambridge University Press, 1988.
John Lothrop Motley, The Rise of the Dutch Republic. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1855.
John Lothrop Motley, History of the United Netherlands from the Death of William the Silent to the Synod of Dort. London: John Murray, 1860.
John Lothrop Motley, The Life and Death of John of Barenvelt. New York & London: Harper and Brothers Publishing, 1900.
Petrus Johannes Blok, History of the people of the Netherlands. New York: G. P. Putnam's sons, 1898.
Jonathan I. Israel, The Dutch Republic: Its Rise, Greatness, and Fall, 14771806 Oxford University Press, 1995.
Pieter Geyl, Orange and Stuart 16411672 Phoenix Press, 2002>
Mark Edward Hay, Russia, Britain, and the House of Nassau: The Re-Establishment of the Orange Dynasty in the Netherlands, MarchNovember 1813, Low Countries Historical Review 133/1, March 2018, 321.
Rouven Pons Hrsg.: Oranien und Nassau in Europa. Lebenswelten einer frühneuzeitlichen Dynastie. Historische Kommission für Nassau, Wiesbaden 2018, .
External links
Dutch Royal House official website
Sources about the history of Orange-Nassau in the Hessian Main State Archives, Wiesbaden
Category:German noble families
Category:House of Lippe
Category:House of Mecklenburg-Schwerin
Category:House of Nassau | wikipedia |
the emission of gravitational waves in a binary system and the accompanying loss of angular momentum produce a decrease in separation , and for certain systems , will inevitably lead to coalescence ( if the initial separation is small enough so that the decay will take place in less than the hubble time ) .
in fact , the binary neutron star systems known psr 1913 + 16 ( hulse & taylor 1975 ) , psr 1534 + 12 ( wolszczan 1991)have been observed to decay at a rate that matches the prediction of general relativity to high accuracy ( taylor et al .
1992 ; stairs et al .
there are no observed black hole
neutron star systems yet , but it is believed that they do in fact exist .
estimates of the event rates can be inferred from the statistics of hulse taylor type systems and from theoretical studies of stellar evolution , and are expected to be about 10@xmath7 to 10@xmath8 per year per galaxy , implying several coalescences per year out to a distance of 1 gpc could be taking place ( lattimer & schramm 1976 ; narayan , piran & shemi 1991 ; tutukov & yungelson 1993 ; lipunov , postnov & prokhorov 1997 ; portegies zwart & yungelson 1998 ; bethe & brown 1998 ; kalogera 1998 ; beczyski & bulik 1999 ) .
the astrophysical interest in compact binaries such as the ones treated here is varied .
they are primary candidates for detection by the gravitational detectors being currently constructed and expected to begin operation within the next few years , such as ligo ( abramovici et al .
1992 ) and virgo ( bradaschia et al .
1990 ) . when the binary separation is large ( compared with the stellar radius )
, the system can be effectively considered to consist of point masses , and accurate waveforms can be calculated using the post newtonian approximation ( see e.g. kidder , will & wiseman 1992 ; cutler et al .
1993 ; blanchet et al .
detection of these signals will yield information about the masses and spins of the system . at small separations ,
a powerful but short burst of waves containing information about the radii and internal structure of the stars is expected . in particular
, it may help constrain the equation of state of matter at high densities . at this stage
, hydrodynamics will play an important role in the evolution of the system and must be taken into account to make any sense of possible observations .
clearly , this requires performing accurate , three dimensional simulations in general relativity .
these simulations have not yet been performed , but progress is being made in this direction by several groups ( see e.g. wilson , mathews & marronetti 1996 ; lombardi , rasio & shapiro 1997 ; baumgarte et al .
1997 ; shibata 1999 ; shibata & ury 2000 ) .
theoretical studies of the tidal disruption and coalescence of black holes with neutron stars were carried out many years ago ( wheeler 1971 ; lattimer & schramm 1974 , 1976 ) but the computing resources to perform accurate numerical studies have only recently become available . numerical work on the final stages of binary evolution and close interactions , including coalescence , has been carried out in the newtonian case by many authors .
these calculations may serve as a useful guide for future work , and also provide benchmarks one can use to compare the results of future general relativistic codes when used in the weak field limit .
the first studies of binary neutron star coalescence were done by oohara and nakamura ( 1989 ) who focused on the emission of gravitational waves .
they later improved their work , using equilibrium conditions for tidally locked systems , and including the effects of radiation reaction in their calculations ( nakamura & oohara 1989 , 1991 ; oohara & nakamura 1990 , 1992 ) .
lai , rasio & shapiro ( 1993b , hereafter lrsb ) developed a semi analytical method that allowed them to generalize the study of incompressible rotating ellipsoids done by chandrasekhar ( 1969 ) to compressible ones , using throughout a polytropic equation of state .
rasio & shapiro ( 1992 , 1994 , 1995 , hereafter rs92 ,
rs94 , rs95 ) extended this work to dynamical simulations of coalescing binaries using smooth particle hydrodynamics ( sph ) , exploring the effect of the mass ratio and the stiffness of the equation of state on the global behavior of the system , as well as on the gravitational radiation signal .
they clearly showed that hydrodynamics can play a crucial role in the evolution of such systems , making them dynamically unstable for small separations even in the newtonian regime ( lai , rasio & shapiro 1993a , hereafter lrsa ) .
zhuge , centrella & mcmillan ( 1994 , 1996 ) also used sph and concentrated on the gravitational wave spectrum and on the effect of varying the neutron star spin and radius .
the thermodynamic evolution of the fluid during and after coalescence has been studied using a physical equation of state by davies et al .
( 1994 ) and ruffert , janka & schfer ( 1996 ) in double neutron star mergers , and recently by janka et al .
( 1999 ) in black hole neutron star mergers .
this has important implications for gamma ray burst models ( see below ) .
it is now believed that the gamma ray bursts ( grbs ) are of cosmological origin ( meegan et al .
1992 ; see fishman & meegan 1995 for a review ) , with redshifts to several optical afterglows ( mszros & rees 1997a ) having been measured recently ( metzger et al . 1997 ; djorgovski et al . 1998 ; kulkarni et al . 1998 , 1999 ) .
the extreme energetics of these events ( e.g. kulkarni et al .
1999 ) and their variability ( which arises at the source , sari & piran 1997 ) indicates that the `` central engine '' must involve a compact object of some sort .
the preferred model involves the relativistic expansion of a fireball that produces the gamma rays as a result of internal shocks in the ejecta .
beaming of this fireball would reduce the energy requirements somewhat , and recent observations indicate that this could indeed be the case ( harrison et al .
1999 ; stanek et al .
1999 ) . what the central engine itself is made of remains to be seen .
the bimodality in burst durations ( kouveliotou et al .
1995 ) with classes of long and short bursts ( separated at about 2 seconds ) hint that there might be two different processes producing the grbs .
different mechanisms involving neutron stars and/or black holes have been proposed , such as binary coalescence of neutron stars ( paczyski 1986 ; goodman 1986 ; eichler et al . 1989 ; narayan , paczyski & piran 1992 ) , neutron stars with black holes ( paczyski 1991 ) , catastrophic release of rotational energy through intense magnetic fields ( usov 1992 ; kluniak & ruderman 1998 ; spruit 1999 ) and failed supernova explosions ( woosley 1993 ) .
janka & ruffert ( 1996 ) estimated that the energy release in neutrinos during a binary neutron star coalescence was insufficient to power a grb .
however , after the initial coalescence an accretion torus may be formed around a resulting black hole , and such a structure might produce a grb ( jarozyski 1993 , 1996 ; witt et al .
1994 ; popham , woosley & fryer 1999 ; macfadyen & woosley 1999 ) . the fireball might be powered by neutrino emission from this disc ( e.g. goodman , dar & nussinov 1987 ; thompson 1994 ; ruffert & janka 1999 ) or by the energy of rotation of the black hole at the center of the disc ( mszros & rees 1997b ) if one is present ( blandford & znajek 1977 ) .
it is not clear that the r process nuclei can be produced by supernovae explosions alone in the observed abundances ( see e.g. meyer & brown 1997 ; freiburghaus et al .
thus an alternative mechanism seems desirable . the ejection of nuclear matter during binary neutron star or black hole
neutron star mergers and its subsequent decompression could provide an adequate environment for this to occur , as has been suggested before ( lattimer & schramm 1974 , 1976 ; symbalisty & schramm 1982 ; eichler et al .
recently , newtonian hydrodynamical simulations by rosswog et al .
( 1999 ) have addressed this problem , and the evolution of the ejected matter has been studied in greater detail by freiburghaus , rosswog & thielemann ( 1999b ) .
so far , they have found that indeed binary neutron star mergers seem to be promising candidates for this process to occur . since the rates of black hole
neutron star mergers are probably comparable ( see above ) , it seems natural to assume that this will also happen in such systems .
since our equation of state is of a simple form , we do not calculate nuclear reactions in any way , but merely wish to determine how much ( if any ) matter can be ejected during the dynamical coalescence and/or tidal disruption of the neutron star by the black hole , a necessary first step if it is to contribute to the abundances of r process material . in previous work ( lee & kluniak 1995 ; kluniak & lee 1998 ; lee & kluniak 1999a , b hereafter papers i and ii ) we have studied the dynamical coalescence of tidally locked black hole neutron star systems . in all cases
the neutron star was modeled as a polytrope and the dynamical simulation was followed using an ideal gas equation of state , as we have done for this work .
we studied the case of a stiff ( @xmath0 , paper i ) and a soft ( @xmath9 , paper ii ) equation of state , mainly to gauge what effect this would have on the outcome of the coalescence .
we found that the compressibility of the neutron star affected the process greatly , with the binary surviving after a brief episode of mass transfer for the former , and unstable mass transfer leading to complete tidal disruption in the latter .
we also confirmed through these dynamical simulations the presence of a dynamical instability for high mass ratios before roche lobe overflow ocurred for @xmath0 . in the case of @xmath9 mass transfer
was initiated before the onset of dynamical instability ( see figure 1 in paper ii ) . in all cases we found that the outcome of the event was extremely favorable for the production of gamma ray bursts , with a region of low density along the rotation axis of the binary , and in some cases an accretion disc containing a few tenths of a solar mass around the black hole .
this scenario seems particularly well suited for the class of short grbs ( kluniak & lee 1998 ; see fryer , woosley & hartmann 1999 for a variety of scenarios that could give rise to a grb ) . in the present paper
, we extend our work to the case of irrotational binaries , which is believed to be a more realistic approximation to the conditions encountered in such systems ( see below , section [ initial ] ) .
we have chosen to model the neutron star with a stiff equation of state , using @xmath0 as before , but also studying the case with @xmath1 .
this may seem like a small difference , but the outcome is significantly altered , as shown below .
we have adopted this value because it closely matches the adiabatic index that is believed to be appropriate for matter at nuclear densities ( e.g. in the physical equation of state of lattimer & swesty 1991 ) .
the paper is organized as follows . in section [ method ]
we present the numerical method we have used , emphasizing the modifications we have implemented in our code .
the initial conditions used for the dynamical simulations are presented in section [ initial ] , followed by a presentation of the simulations themselves in section [ results ] .
the influence of the choice of initial conditions is explored in section [ sphere ] .
a summary and discussion of our work is given in section [ discussion ] .
for the calculations presented in this work , we have used the method known as smooth particle hydrodynamics ( sph ) ( see monaghan 1992 for a review and lee 1998 for a description of our own code ) .
the code is essentially the same one that was used for our previous simulations of tidally locked black hole
neutron star binaries ( paper i , paper ii ) with some minor modifications , discussed below . here
we will not discuss the code in detail nor present any tests of the method , since it has now become widely known .
we limit the discussion of numerical implementation to the new features of the code . as before ,
the black hole is modeled as a newtonian point mass of mass @xmath10 with an absorbing boundary at the schwarzschild radius @xmath11 . any sph particle that crosses this boundary
is absorbed by the black hole , whose mass and momentum are adjusted so as to ensure conservation of total mass and total linear momentum in the system .
the neutron star is modeled as a polytrope with a stiff equation of state , so that the pressure is given by @xmath12 with @xmath13 and @xmath14 being constants ( see paper i ) . unless otherwise noted , we measure mass and distance in units of the mass and radius of the unperturbed ( spherical ) neutron star ( 13.4 km and 1.4 m@xmath6 respectively ) , so that the units of time , density and velocity are @xmath15 @xmath16 @xmath17 for the dynamical simulations presented here , we have used @xmath18 sph particles to model the neutron star ( except where noted ) .
the initial ( spherical ) neutron star is constructed by placing the sph particles on a uniform three dimensional grid with particle masses proportional to the lane emden density .
this ensures that the spatial resolution is approximately uniform throughout the fluid .
this isolated star is then allowed to relax for a period of thirty time units ( as defined above ) by including a damping term linear in the velocities in the equations of motion .
the specific entropies of the particles are kept constant during this procedure ( i.e. _ k _ is constant in the equation of state @xmath12 ) . to perform a dynamical run , the black hole and every sph particle
are given the velocity as determined from the corresponding initial condition ( see below ) in an inertial frame , with the origin of coordinates at the centre of mass of the system .
each sph particle is assigned a specific internal energy @xmath19 and the equation of state is changed to that of an ideal gas , @xmath20 .
the specific internal energy is then evolved according to the first law of thermodynamics , taking into account the contribution from artifical viscosity ( see below ) .
we vary the initial mass ratio @xmath2 in the binary by adjusting the mass of the black hole only .
artificial viscosity is used in sph to handle the presence of shocks and avoid particle interpenetration .
the momentum and energy equations are written as : @xmath21 and @xmath22 here @xmath23 is the artificial viscosity term and @xmath24 , @xmath25 , @xmath26 , @xmath27 , @xmath28 , @xmath29 and @xmath30 are the velocity , pressure , density , internal energy per unit mass , gravitational potential , radiation reaction acceleration ( see below ) and interpolation kernel respectively ( for the kernel we use the form of monaghan & lattanzio ( 1985 ) , see also paper i ) . in previous work
we have used the form introduced by monaghan ( 1992 ) , containing both shear and bulk viscosity .
we have now changed the viscosity prescription and use the form presented by balsara ( 1995 ) , namely : @xmath31 where @xmath32 and @xmath33 is the form function for particle _ i _ defined by @xmath34 the factor @xmath35 in the denominator prevents numerical divergences . the sound speed at the location of particle _
i _ is denoted by @xmath36 , and @xmath37 and @xmath38 are constants .
the divergence and curl of the velocity field are evaluated through @xmath39 and @xmath40 we use this new form of the viscosity because it vanishes in regions of large vorticity , when @xmath41 . since in our dynamical simulations accretion structures are often formed ( where strong shear is present ) , we wish to limit the effect of artificial viscosity on the evolution of such structures , while at the same time retain the ability to deal with strong shocks ( in regions of strong compression where @xmath42 , the form function _
f _ approaches unity ) .
lombardi et al . ( 1999 ) have performed a study of the effects of different artificial viscosity prescriptions in several problems involving sph , and they suggest using @xmath43 , where @xmath13 is the adiabatic index .
for all the calculations presented here we have used these values for @xmath37 and @xmath38 .
we have modified our implementation of gravitational radiation reaction .
previously ( see paper ii , also davies et al .
1994 ) we used the quadrupole formula for angular momentum loss , and applied a back reaction force to each binary component .
this approach is only reasonable as long as the neutron star is not tidally disrupted and can be reasonably approximated as a point mass .
usually this radiation reaction force is switched off when the binary separation ( defined as the distance between the black hole and the centre of mass of the tidally deformed neutron star ) decreases below a tidal disruption radius , given by @xmath44 . however , there are situations in which the initial episode of mass transfer in the binary does not disrupt the neutron star completely .
instead , a massive core survives while at the same time an accretion disc forms around the black hole ( see the results for a tidally locked binary with a mass ratio of unity in lee & kluniak 1995 ; kluniak & lee 1998 and paper i ) . in this case one still has a stable binary system , composed of the black hole and the surviving core , plus an accretion torus around the black hole .
gravitational radiation losses will affect the evolution of the new binary , but the system composed of the accretion torus and the core ( the fluid ) can hardly be considered to be a point mass .
we thus realized that identifying the core was necessary in order to apply a gravitational raditation reaction term to it and the black hole .
this needed to be done while the simulation was progressing , in order to update the calculation of angular momentum losses as needed .
in all cases where it was apparent that this identification was a necessity , the system had evolved through roche lobe overflow into a configuration consisting of a stable binary ( a low mass neutron star around the black hole ) and an accretion torus around the black hole ( see figure 4 in paper i ) .
it was apparent that the core consisted of matter that was gravitationally self bound , and that the fluid in the accretion torus was in quasi keplerian orbits around the black hole . thus identifying
the core became an issue of finding where the gravitationally self
bound matter was located .
our calculation of gravitational forces in the code uses a hierarchical tree structure ( see benz et al .
1990 ) , and it simultaneously calculates what the gravitational potential energy is for every particle , @xmath45 .
the first term arises from the contribution of all sph particles , and the second from the presence of the black hole , given simply by @xmath46 .
there is also kinetic energy in the fluid that needs to be considered , and we take this into account by calculating the kinetic energy of the sph particles in the instantaneous frame of reference that is _ co moving _ with the centre of mass of the core ( to remove the influence of the kinetic energy of orbital motion ) .
since we do not know which sph particles will make up the core beforehand , we use the position of the centre of mass of the core from the previous time step in the computation .
since in our initial condition ( see below ) the star has not overflowed its roche lobe , the centre of mass of the core at @xmath47 coincides with the centre of mass of the entire neutron star .
thus the kinetic energy we calculate is @xmath48 , where @xmath49 . if the total mechanical energy of an sph particle , @xmath50 is negative , then that particle is identified as belonging to the core of the star .
we note that in the simulations presented here , we have not considered the internal energy of the fluid for this determination ( we have performed several tests including this term , and the effect it has on the global evolution of the system is negligible ) .
we keep track of the total core mass @xmath51 and the position of its centre of mass .
the radiation reaction formula is then applied to the black hole and to every sph particle in the core as in paper ii , producing an acceleration @xmath52 while for the black hole the acceleration is given by @xmath53 the energy loss is given by the quadrupole formula ( landau & lifshitz 1975 ) : @xmath54 the emission of gravitational radiation is calculated as described in papers i and ii ( see also finn 1989 ; rasio & shapiro 1992 ) .
of course , even with this new formulation of gravitational radiation reaction , the star can in principle be completely disrupted , so throughout our dynamical calculations , we monitor the separation of the black hole and the core , and compare it to the current tidal disruption radius .
for @xmath0 we switch gravitational radiation off if the distance between the centre of mass of the core and the black hole drops below @xmath55 ( this never actually happened for the simulations presented here ) , and for @xmath1 we do so when ( and if ) the mass of the core drops below one tenth of the initial neutron star mass ( i.e. 0.14 m@xmath6 ) .
we then perform an _ a posteriori _ check to ensure that the gravitational radiation reaction terms are not switched off too late or too early in the simulation .
we have altered the criterion used to turn off radiation reaction from that used previously ( paper ii ) because we noticed that there sometimes occurred a slight jump in the slope of total angular momentum as a function of time ( @xmath56 ) at the moment when radiation reaction was turned off .
the new procedure eliminates this discontinuity , and when radiation reaction is turned off it is no longer an important factor in the evolution of the system . to make sure that this is so , we continuously compute the radiation reaction timescale @xmath57 and an estimate of the current orbital period @xmath58 , where _ r _ is the separation between the black hole and the centre of mass of the core . for the typical separations and masses in the black hole
core binary , by the time the core mass has dropped to 0.14 m@xmath6 , the radiation reaction timescale is much longer ( by at least an order of magnitude ) than the current orbital period .
in previous work ( papers i and ii ) we have used tidally locked binary systems as initial conditions . this was done initially for two main reasons .
first , it is relatively easy to set up self consistent initial conditions for systems in a state of rigid rotation .
since we are interested in equilibrium configurations , the system can be relaxed in the co rotating frame of the binary and coriolis forces can be ignored .
second , we wanted to perform accurate comparisons to the results for two neutron stars using essentially the same approach ( newtonian hydrodynamics and a polytropic equation of state ) as rs92 , rs94 , rs95 .
on the other hand , it has been known for some time that realistically , tidal locking is not expected in such binary systems , because the viscosity inside neutron stars is not large enough ( bildsten & cutler 1992 ; kochanek 1992 ) . thus the case of irrotational systems is physically more interesting .
unfortunately , it is also more complicated . in this scenario
the _ shape _ of the star is fixed in the co rotating frame , but there are internal motions with zero circulation .
each component appears to be counter spinning with the orbital angular velocity , and in an inertial frame , the star has effectively no spin .
( we note here that , as pointed out by rasio & shapiro ( 1999 ) , for double neutron star systems this creates a vortex sheet at the interface of the stars when they come into contact that is extremely difficult to handle numerically . for black hole
neutron star systems like the ones presented here , this problem does not exist , since there is no contact surface between the neutron star and the black hole , but a vacuum boundary condition . ) constructing equilibrium initial conditions for irrotational systems in black hole
neutron star binaries is a problem that has only recently been addressed ( ury & eriguchi 1999 ) .
a method for constructing approximate solutions was developped by lrsb .
they used an energy variational method to find equilibrium solutions for a variety of binary systems assuming a polytropic equation of state and approximating the stars as compressible tri axial ellipsoids . the black hole
neutron star binaries we treat in this work correspond to irrotational roche
riemann binaries ( see section 8 in lrsb ) .
we have used this approach in order to construct initial conditions for all the dynamical runs presented here , except two ( see below ) .
we build an initial condition by first constructing a spherical star of given radius and mass , as described in section 2 .
we then use the method of lrsb to calculate the orbital angular velocity of the binary and the semimajor axes of the roche
riemann ellipsoid for the appropriate choice of adiabatic index , initial mass ratio and binary separation ( see table [ parameters ] ) .
the semimajor axes of the fluid configuration can also be calculated from the sph numerical solution using @xmath59 where @xmath60 the stiffness of the equation of state enters these equations through the parameter @xmath61 ( @xmath62 for @xmath0 and @xmath63 for @xmath1 ) .
the first and second semimajor axes of the tri axial ellipsoid lie in the orbital plane , with the first one along the line joining the two binary components .
the third axis is oriented perpendicular to this plane ( along the axis of rotation ) .
the position of each sph particle is then re scaled ( independently along each coordinate axis ) so that the new fluid configuration has the appropriate semimajor axes .
it is this new ellipsoid that is then used as an initial condition for the corresponding dynamical run .
the initial velocity is given by the orbital angular velocity ( for the azimuthal component ) plus the ( small ) radial velocity corresponding to point mass inspiral .
we show in figure [ jra ] the variation in total angular momentum as a function of binary separation for irrotational roche riemann binaries ( with various mass ratios and adiabatic indices in the equation of state ) , as calculated using the method of lrsb .
the curves exhibit a turning point as the separation is decreased , indicating the presence of an instability in the system .
strictly speaking , the ellipsoidal approximation breaks down close to this turning point , and a full equilibrium solution is necessary ( see ury & eriguchi 1999 ) .
however , we have chosen the values of the initial separation for our dynamical runs @xmath64 to be slightly _ above _ the turning point ( see table [ parameters ] ) .
the ellipsoidal approximation is then still reasonable , and our equilibrium configurations have not yet reached the point where the neutron star will overflow its roche lobe .
when the dynamical simulation is initiated , the separation will decrease due to the emission of gravitational waves , and mass transfer will start promptly . if one were to construct the appropriate roche
riemann ellipsoid at a large separation and then allow the system to evolve dynamically through gravitational wave emission , the neutron star would be spun up to some degree for several reasons .
first , since the neutron star can not react instantly to changes in the tidal potential produced by the black hole , a tidal lag angle will be induced as the separation decreases , so that the tri axial ellipsoid and the binary axis are no longer aligned ( see lai , rasio & shapiro 1994 ) .
this tidal lag increases as the separation is decreased .
immediately before roche lobe overflow occurs , the presence of a dynamical instability can make it quite large ( on the order of @xmath65 ) .
second , any amount of viscosity will transfer orbital angular momentum to the spin of the neutron star , contributing to orbital decay .
this applies both to a real , physical viscosity , but also to any numerical effect that might be present in our scheme .
we have thus tried to minimize the effect of numerical noise and viscosity on the initial evolution of the binary by proceeding as described above , always keeping in mind that our initial condition is not fully self consistent .
we hope to improve on this in future work .
the initial separations we have chosen are similar to what we have presented before for the case of tidally locked black hole neutron star binaries ( paper i , paper ii ) .
we also include in table [ parameters ] the initial parameters for two runs ( a31s and b31s ) that used initially spherical neutron stars for the dynamical calculations , with a keplerian orbital angular velocity .
we have performed these runs to gauge the effect non equilibrium initial conditions will have on the evolution of the system .
the results of these runs are presented in section [ sphere ] . [
cols="<,^,^,^,^,^,^,^,^,^ " , ] all quantitites are given in geometrized units such that @xmath66 , and @xmath67 erg s@xmath68 .
as mentioned before , we have performed two runs , a31s and b31s , in which the initial condition uses a spherical neutron star , relaxed in isolation .
the initial orbital angular velocity used for these dynamical runs is that of a point mass binary with the same initial mass ratio and separation .
otherwise all initial parameters are as in runs a31 and b31 respectively ( see table [ parameters ] ) .
constructing fully self consistent initial conditions for close binaries is not an easy task , particularly for non synchronized binaries like the ones treated in this paper .
the complications that arise also depend on the particular numerical method being used , and there is a trade off between numerical accuracy and physical sense of the results that is always present .
all other things being equal , at larger binary separations , tidal effects are smaller ( how much smaller depends on the details of the equation of state ) , and thus taking a spherical star as an initial condition can be quite reasonable .
however , one then needs to evolve the system for a large number of dynamical times ( e.g. draining angular momentum through gravitational wave emisison ) before the actual coalescence takes place .
this has two very important drawbacks .
first , much cpu time is wasted modeling the system at high resolution while the hydrodynamics has little effect on the evolution .
zhuge et al .
( 1994 , 1996 ) have performed dynamical simulations of binary neutron star coalescence using sph , starting with initial conditions at large separations and removing angular momentum from the system through gravitational wave emission as we have done here .
their spatial resolution was severely limited ( the neutron star was modeled with approximately 4000 particles at most ) because they had to evolve the system for a large number of dynamical times .
second , spurious numerical effects can degrade the initial condition one imposed at the start ( through viscous dissipation and angular momentum transport ) so that we have little control over the physical state of the system when the final merging occurs .
thus , many of the simulations of binary coalescence reported in the literature for double neutron star systems ( e.g. oohara & nakamura 1989 ; benz et al . 1990 ; davies et al . 1994 , ruffert et al . 1996 ; rosswog et al . 1999 ) , and for black hole neutron star binaries ( janka et al .
1999 ) , have used spherical neutron stars as an initial condition , regardless of the initial separation , which is nevertheless small enough so that the two problems stated above are avoided .
we note here that it is much easier to build even approximate equilibrium solutions to initial conditions if the equation of state is of a simple form like the one we have used here , rather than a physical equation of state like the one used by janka et al .
( 1999 ) and rosswog et al .
( 1999 ) ( this is another trade - off one must balance ) . here
we wish to explore how one aspect ( tri axial ellipsoid vs. spherical star ) of the choice of initial conditions will affect the outcome of the coalescence , in a qualitative and quantitative fashion .
as noted above ( see section [ initial ] ) , we remind the reader that an irrotational roche
riemann ellipsoid does not correspond to a fully self consistent initial condition either .
the main effect of using a spherical star as an initial condition appears as soon as the dynamical simulation starts , since the neutron star must respond the the instantaneous appearance of a tidal field produced by the black hole .
thus a tidal bulge quickly appears , initially along the axis joining the two binary components .
this act drains energy from the orbital motion , and makes the separation decay slightly faster than it otherwise would ( see figure [ decay]a ) .
the appearance of the tidal bulge also induces radial oscillations of the star which damp out after a few dynamical times , and can be appreciated in figure [ decay]b , where we plot the total internal energy of the neutron star for runs a31 , a31s , b31 and b31s .
all curves show variation , since runs a31 and b31 do not correspond to full equilibrium solutions either , but their oscillations are somewhat smaller .
this initial perturbation is responsible for all subsequent differences in the variables shown in tables [ disks ] and [ waves ] , and are easily understood .
since the separation decreases at a higher rate , the initial encounter with the black hole is more violent , making the peak accretion rates larger by about 8% , and the surviving core ( for @xmath0 ) less massive by about 20% .
the gravitational wave signal ( see figure [ gwb ] ) is also affected for the same reasons .
the peak amplitude in the waveforms and the peak luminosity are slightly higher ( because the minimum separation reached during the first episode of mass transfer is smaller ) but decay faster , and the final amplitude ( when the binary survives ) is smaller ( largely because the final mass ratio is lower )
. however , the total energy radiated away through gravitational waves is significantly lower ( by about 15% ) , because the initial encounter is much more brief . finally , the faster initial decay is also reflected in a slight phase shift in the gravitational wave signal ( see figure [ gwb]b ) .
we have presented the results of three dimensional hydrodynamical simulations of the coalescence of a neutron star with a black hole .
we use a stiff equation of state to model the neutron star as a cold polytrope with @xmath0 and @xmath1 , which is believed to be appropriate for matter at nuclear densities .
the black hole is modeled as a newtonian point mass with an absorbing boundary at the schwarzschild radius .
we have explored a range of mass ratios @xmath2 , and follow the dynamical evolution of the system for approximately 23 ms .
it is important to keep in mind that our simulations are completely newtonian , except for our treatment of gravitational radiation reaction on the hydrodynamics ( see section [ grr ] ) . since tidal locking
is not expected in this type of system ( bildsten & cutler 1992 ; kochanek 1992 ) we have used initial conditions corresponding to irrotational binaries in equilibrium , approximating the neutron star as a compressible tri axial ellipsoid ( see lrsb ) .
the dynamical simulations are begun when the system is on the verge of initiating mass transfer .
the loss of angular momentum to gravitational wave emission , together with hydrodynamic instabilities , always drives these systems to initiate mass transfer within one orbital period after the start of the dynamical simulations . for @xmath0
this episode always leads to the survival of the neutron star core and its transfer to a higher orbit .
a long tidal tail of matter stripped from the star appears from the outer lagrange point , and for high mass ratios ( @xmath3 in our simulations ) an accretion disc is clearly visible ( for lower mass ratios this is not so evident at our current level of resolution ) .
the new binary system is clearly stable , and the slightly elliptical orbit ( @xmath69 ) is small enough to allow secondary mass transfer events to occur at each periastron passage ( two or three more occur during our simulations ) .
since the mass ratio in the new binary differs substantially from the initial one , and the separation is larger , the timescale for decay of the orbit due to gravitational wave emission is lenghtened considerably , and becomes up to two orders of magnitude greater than the orbital period ( calculated for point
mass binaries in the quadrupole approximation ) .
thus the lifetime of the system may be on the order of tenths of one second . for @xmath1 ,
the neutron star is eventually completely disrupted and an accretion disc is formed around the black hole , but over a longer timescale ( essentially up to and including the second periastron passage of the core ) than in the previous case . a tidal tail of material thrown out from the outer lagrange point is also formed as described above .
these tails survive as well defined structures throughout the simulations .
the overall morphology of the events is directly reflected in the gravitational radiation waveforms . in the cases where the stellar core survives , the signal continues to exhibit a finite amplitude ( albeit greatly reduced ) at a frequency corresponding to the new orbital period ( approximately 350 hz vs. 800 hz at the start of the dynamical simulations , since the frequency of the gravitational radiation signal is twice that of orbital motion for circular orbits ) .
the eccentricity of the orbit produces periodic peaks in the gravitational wave luminosity .
this remnant signal is completely absent in the case of @xmath1 , where the waveforms ( and luminosity ) drop apruptly and practically to zero after the star is disrupted and the accretion disc is formed .
the dramatic dependence on the stiffness of the equation of state shows the type of information that could be gleaned from an observation of gravitational waves in the near future , and is similar to what has been found for double neutron star systems by rasio & shapiro ( rs94 ) , where the persistent emission was due to a lack of axisymmetry in the central object left after the coalescence . in all cases ,
the fluid contained in the outer parts of the tidal tails ( amounting to 10@xmath7010@xmath68 m@xmath6 ) appears to be on outbound trajectories ( it has enough mechanical energy to escape the gravitational potential well of the black hole
debris torus system ) .
this probably represents an upper bound , since the effects of general relativity are likely to lower this value . as we have pointed out above
, this may have important implications for the abundances of r process material in the galaxy .
we refer the reader to the more detailed analysis performed by rosswog et al .
( 1999 ) and freiburghaus et al .
( 1999b ) where they have used the equation of state of lattimer & swesty ( 1991 ) and a detailed thermodynamic and nuclear network calculation .
the use of adequate initial conditions for detailed dynamical simulations is always an important concern . for tidally locked binaries , setting up equilibrium initial conditions can be done in a relatively simple way ( paper i , paper ii ) .
this is not the case if this restriction is lifted , as it has been for this work .
we have chosen to use the semi
analytical method of lrsb to construct approximate equilibrium solutions to the problem of a compressible tri axial ellipsoid in orbit about a point mass companion ( see ury & eriguchi 1999 for full equilibrium configurations ) .
we remark that this does not mean that our initial conditions are entirely self consistent , since at small separations , a dynamical tidal lag angle is induced in the binary ( see lai et al .
1994 ) , and we have necessarily neglected this effect for now .
we have carried out two dynamical simulations in this work that use a spherical neutron star relaxed in isolation as an initial condition , and find that there are quantitative differences in the evolution of the system ( see section [ sphere ] ) .
these can be directly traced to the fact that the spherical star must respond instantaneously to the presence of the gravitational field of the black hole when the dynamical simulation is started .
this leads to radial oscillations of the star and to a more rapid orbital decay , as compared to the equilibrium case .
the evolution is more rapid and the mass transfer episodes are more violent . thus the maximum accretion rates and the peak in the gravitational radiation waveforms and luminosities are overestimated ( see table [ waves ] and figure [ gwb ] ) .
we can perform a direct comparison between run a31 and the dynamical coalescence presented in paper i for a tidally locked binary with initial mass ratio @xmath71 ( see section 5.4.2 and figures 2023 in paper i ) .
both simulations included the effect of gravitational radiation reaction on the system and were carried out with an adiabatic index @xmath0 , thus any differences are due entirely to the initial condition . in both cases
there is an initial episode of intense mass transfer , with the surviving core being transferred to a higher orbit .
however , in the case of the tidally locked system , it is less violent , and thus the final separation of the binary is smaller than in run a31 , and the orbit is more circular .
this allows the secondary episodes of mass transfer to be more intense , by about an order of magnitude ( they are clearly resolved in the run shown in paper i , despite the lower numerical resolution ) .
the evolution is reflected in the gravitational radiation signal , with the final amplitude of the waveforms being greater by a factor of two than in run a31 , and the gravitational radiation luminosity exhibiting secondary peaks at each periastron passage that are greater by approximately one order of magnitude .
additionally , no resolvable amount of mass ( @xmath72 ) is dynamically ejected in the tidally locked case , in stark contrast with the result of run a31 .
the surviving core ( for @xmath0 ) can be driven below the minimum mass required for stability by the successive episodes of mass transfer .
if this occurs , an explosion may take place ( page 1982 ; blinnikov et al .
1984 ; colpi , shapiro & teukolsky 1991 ; sumiyoshi et al .
1998 ) . exploring
this process clearly requires a greater level of detail in the physics input than we have at our disposal for this work , and is beyond the scope of this paper .
the presence of the black hole would make this even more complicated .
all the accretion discs that form around the black hole during the coalescence are similar in structure , and by the end of our simulations , they are quite close to being azimuthally symmetric .
they have masses of a few tenths of a solar mass , with maximum densities and specific internal energies of order 10@xmath73 g @xmath74 and 10@xmath75erg g@xmath68 ( or 10 mev / nucelon ) respectively .
all of the final configurations have a low degree of baryon contamination along the rotation axis , in the regions directly above and below the black hole .
it is low enough so that only modest beaming ( of approximately 10@xmath76 ) of a relativistic fireball along this axis would be required in order to avoid being stopped by the fluid in the vicinity of the black hole ( mszros & rees 1992 , 1993 ) .
this is encouraging as far as current models of gamma ray bursts ( grbs ) are concerned , and confirms our previous results ( lee & kluniak 1997 ; kluniak & lee 1998 ) , where we found that these systems appear to be good candidates for the central engines of short grbs .
the recent simulations of black hole neutron star coalescence performed by janka et al .
( 1999 ) using the equation of state of lattimer & swesty ( 1991 ) have produced essentially the same results .
the coalescence of binary neutron stars may result in a very similar scenario if the central object collapses to a black hole ( ruffert & janka 1999 ) .
it is a pleasure to acknowledge many helpful discussions with wodzimierz kluniak , frederic rasio , lars bildsten and maximilian ruffert .
i thank the aspen center for physics for its hospitatlity .
support for this work was provided by conacyt ( 27987e ) and dgapa unam ( in-119998 ) .
i thank the anonymous referee for his comments and suggestions for improvements to the text .
kouveliotou c. , koshut t. , briggs m.s . ,
pendleton g.n . ,
meegan c.a . ,
fishman g.j .
, lestrade j.p . , 1995 , in kouveliotou c. , briggs m.f . , fishman g.j . ,
, aip proc .
384 , gamma ray bursts , aip , new york , p. 42 | arxiv |
What is the edge length of ZnS, given the radii of Zn and S ions? [closed]
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What is the edge length of $\ce{ZnS}$, given the radii of $\ce{Zn^2+}$ and $\ce{S^2-}$ ions?
In ZnS, $Zn^{2+}$ is located in alternate tetrahedral voids and $S^{2-}$ at the vertices of cube of ZnS crystal. If $a$ is the length of cube, then the tetrahedral void is present at a distance $√3a/4$ from the ion at the nearest vertex on that diagonal of cube,i.e.,$S^{2-}$.
So, $Zn^{2+}$
is at a distance
$√3a/4$ from $ S^{2-}$.
Tetrahedral void is present between centre of cube and it's vertex on the diagonal of the cube.
So $√3a/4$ = radius of $Zn^{2+}$+ radius of $S^{2-}$=$d$ say.
Hence, $a$=($4/√3a$)×$d$
| stackexchange/chemistry |
The Americans has always been excellent, but FX's story of two undercover Russian spies in 1980s America solidified itself as one of the greatest shows on TV this past year, with its best season so far. In Season 4, the Jennings dealt with ever-escalating threats, including terrifying bioweapons, along with the ongoing danger that their true identities would be exposed. As the season progressed, we saw several characters encounter notably permanent and upsetting consequences for their actions, with The Americans proving it would never play things safe. It was incredibly intense and involving to see the Jennings begin to reach their breaking point, and what occurred felt like the sadly inevitable outcome of everything set up in previous years of the show. As always, Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys were amazing, helping us continue to empathize with Elizabeth and Philip, even as they kept finding themselves having to commit some very dark acts in the name of their mission. For these reasons and many more, The Americans is IGN's pick for the best TV Series of 2016.
Your votes have been counted, and the People's Choice winner for Best TV Series 2016 is Game of Thrones. Thanks for voting! | slim_pajama |
Michael Douglas Mike Caveney born June 17, 1950 is an American magician, author, publisher, magic historian and collector. He is a life-member of the Magic Castle in Hollywood and a member of The Magic Circle of London. His work as a magician and publisher spans over four decades. He has appeared onstage or on TV in more than 20 countries worldwide and most of the 50 States.
Life and career
Caveney was raised in the San Gabriel Valley, California. He discovered magic at age nine and as a pre-teen worked for Owen Magic Supreme, where he was paid in magic apparatus. He was a member of the Long Beach Mystics, a club for young magicians, founded in 1955 in Long Beach, California. The club met regularly in the backroom of Brownies Hobby and Magic Shop and produced a myriad of professional magicians including Michael Weber, Stan Allen, Kevin James and Dana Daniels. In 2005, a documentary about the Mystics was created to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the organization.
In 1995 he received the John Nevil Maskelyne Award for literature by the Magic Circle of London. Four years later he was awarded the Literary Fellowship Award by the Academy of Magical Arts at the Magic Castle. In 2006, he was voted Stage Magician of the Year and has been nominated as Lecturer of the Year several times by that same organization. In 2010, Caveney received a Special Award for History, Research and Scholarship from FISM.
He is co-organizer and host of the Los Angeles Conference on Magic History, a biennial invitation-only conference to showcase historical magic. The conference is co-hosted by Ricky Jay, John Gaughan and Jim Steinmeyer. As a magic historian, he was featured on A&E's 1997 Story of Magic, hosted by Ricky Jay.
Author and publisher
Since 1979, Caveney has published over 50 titles on the theory, practice and history of magic.
His biographical works include Kellars Wonders 2003 with Bill Miesel, and Carter the Great 1995. In 2010 he co-authored, Magic, 1400s-1950s for Taschen Books. He is also a contributing editor to MAGIC - The Independent Magazine for Magicians. He recently published a book of his life's work titled Mike Caveney Wonders.
Personal life
Caveney lives in Pasadena, California with his wife, magician, mime and harpist Tina Lenert. The couple married on April 22, 1979.
References
External links
Category:1950 births
Category:American magicians
Category:Historians of magic
Category:Living people
Category:People from the San Gabriel Valley
Category:People from Pasadena, California | wikipedia |
Why only plane polarized light is absorbed in polarized glasses?
Polarizing glasses can cancel out the light that is reflected from either the horizontal plane or the vertical plane. But why it can not cancel out the light that is reflected from the perpendicular plane?
A typical polarizing filter contains light-absorbing molecules that are long and thin, all oriented in one direction. An individual molecule is electrically conductive along its length, so absorbs light whose electric field vector is oriented in the direction of the molecule's length. Light that is plane-polarized with the electric field in that direction is absorbed, while light plane-polarized in an orthogonal direction is not absorbed.
Any light that can be represented as consisting of two plane-polarized components (e.g., light whose polarization is circular, elliptical, or random) is converted to linearly polarized light by passing through that kind of polarizing filter. The light that emerges from the filter is all plane-polarized in the direction orthogonal to the absorption axis of the filter.
It is interesting to note that light polarized at 45 degrees to vertical can be considered to contain two components polarized in the vertical and horizontal directions. So, light polarized at 45 degrees is only partly absorbed by a polarizing filter that absorbs at 0 degrees: light emerges that is polarized at 90 degrees.
Light that reflects at an angle of about 54 degrees away from normal from a smooth glass (or plastic, water, or even stone) surface is polarized with its electric vector parallel to the surface. So, in your photo light reflected from the tabletop has horizontal polarization, while light reflected from the vertical surfaces has vertical polarization. So, if you tip your head 90 degrees, or rotate your polarizing glasses 90 degrees, you will find that reflections from vertical surfaces will be absorbed while reflections from horizontal surfaces will be transmitted. Light that is reflected multiple times can have its polarization direction rotated to almost any angle.
| stackexchange/physics |
jets , collimated relativistic outflows carrying large amounts of energy away from the deepest parts of the gravitational potential well , are a relative latecomer to the overall picture of accretion around stellar mass black holes .
much of the basics of accretion theory , namely how the matter gets in while angular momentum and radiation get out , was developed in between the 1960s and 1980s , with roots in much earlier works , and is still applicable today ( and much of it will have been covered in other chapters in this book ) .
in contrast , it took until the 2000s for it be accepted that jets are a key part of the accretion process in stellar mass accretors , both in terms of their uniquity and importance in having very large kinetic powers . furthermore , despite knowledge of their existence in active galactic nuclei for a century , the basics of how relativistic jets are launched are still a long way behind our understanding of the accretion process .
nevertheless , once we discovered that jets in x - ray binaries follow certain patterns , revealed mainly ( but not exclusively ) by coordinated observing campaigns in the radio and x - ray bands , we realised that they offered perhaps our best opportunity to understand the connection between accretion and jet formation in relativistic objects
. in this paper we will describe the current state of play in our empirical understanding of the relation between accretion , jets and winds in stellar mass black holes ( and neutron stars ) .
we will focus on thoroughly summarising the observational evidence , and highlighting recent progress . for a lengthier introduction to the basic observables of jets and
what can be understood from them , the reader is directed towards fender ( 2006 ) and references therein . for a very quick summary of the state of the field ,
see fender & belloni ( 2012 ) .
other relevant historical reviews include hjellming & han ( 1995 ) , mirabel & rodrguez ( 1999 ) , mart ( 2005 ) .
in this section we shall summarise the empirical evidence for a connection between accretion and outflow in x - ray binaries .
we shall start with the black hole x - ray binaries , for which the evidence is strongest .
fig [ science ] summarises both the current state of our knowledge of the connection between accretion and outflows in black hole x - ray binaries , and how we most commonly choose to represent it .
this representation of the relation between jets and x - ray state originated with fender , belloni & gallo ( 2004 ) , and has since been greatly augmented by the work of ponti et al .
( 2012 ) who found a clear relation between accretion disc winds and the soft x - ray state .
we are very fortunate that , on timescales fairly well tuned to phd durations or grant cycles , we can observe a single stellar mass black hole in a binary system undergo accretion in a small number of different modes over a large range of luminosities .
the cycle illustrated in fig [ science ] takes place over about one year , as is illustrated in fig [ lightcurve ] .
noteworthy points to take from this figure are that the quasi - steady jet is present most of the time , although mainly at low luminosities , that the transient / flaring jet phase constitutes a very small fraction of the outburst , and that for most of the time at the highest luminosities there appears to be no core jet but a strong disc wind .
the following subsections refer to the ( quasi - cyclic ) phases labelled a through f in figs 1 and 2 .
outbursts of black hole x - ray binaries ( bhxrbs ) seem to be caused by a switch in the viscosity of the accretion disc , associated with the ionisation of hydrogen .
the most recent test of this theory , originally developed for white dwarf accretion in cataclysmic variables ( meyer & meyer - hofmeister 1981 ) , continues to support the scenario ( coriat , fender & dubus 2012 ) . once the viscosity increases , the accretion rate at the inner edge of the accretion disc rises dramatically . since this is where most of the accretion luminosity is produced , the source gets brighter on a short timescale ( days ) . in our experience to date
, most bhxrbs spend most of their time outside of outbursts at ` quiescent ' levels of accretion with corresponding luminosities of @xmath0 erg s@xmath1 .
this population is not very well sampled , however , and some sources are stable at higher luminosities ( e.g. v404 cyg which is ` quiescent ' at @xmath2 erg s@xmath1 ) and selection effects suggests that there s likely to be a tail to lower luminosities .
once the outburst begins , however , the sources can rise to luminosities @xmath3 erg s@xmath1 very rapidly , an extremely dramatic change . for most of this range in luminosity
the x - ray spectrum remains in a ` hard ' spectral state ( however , it is likely that most of the action is going on in the ultraviolet , which is hard / impossible to observe in for most x - ray binaries , due to large dust extinction in the galactic plane ) .
this state is characterised by a broad - band x - ray spectrum with photon index @xmath4 ( with the spectrum hardening as the luminosity increases ; e.g. plotkin et al . 2014 ) often observed to show a cutoff between @xmath550 - 130 kev ( with the temperature decreasing the luminosity increases ; e.g. , motta et al 2009 ; joinet et al .
2008 ) , and generally ascribed to thermal comptonisation in a hot plasma or ` corona ' above / around / near the accretion disc .
there is usually strong x - ray variability ( up to 40% r.m.s . in the fourier frequency range 0.01 100 hz ) associated with this state . in this hard state ,
bhxrbs essentially always show relatively weak but steady radio emission , with a flat ( @xmath6 , where flux density @xmath7 ) spectrum and low levels of polarisation ( fender 2001 ; but see brocksopp et al . 2013 and russell & shahbaz 2014 ) .
the relative steadiness , flat spectrum and lack of polarisation suggest that this emission originates in a more or less continuously replenished , partially self - absorbed outflow , such as those originally conceived of to explain the flat spectrum cores of some quasars .
the radio - x - ray correlation has been studied extensively , and is discussed in more detail in the following subsection . quasi - simultaneous radio and x - ray monitoring has become the standard tool of investigation for the so called jet - accretion coupling " in hard state bhxrbs .
a strong and repeating correlation has been established between the radio and x - ray luminosity for two systems , with @xmath8 being proportional to @xmath9@xmath10 ( gx339@xmath114 : corbel et al .
2003 , 2013 and v404 cyg : gallo , fender & pooley 2003 ; gallo , fender & hynes 2005 , corbel , krding & kaaret 2008 ) .
however , the universality of this relation 10 years after its discovery is far from obvious .
fig [ fig : plane ] summarizes the current state of the problem by assembling what is likely the most complete data collection as of today ( data from gallo , miller & fender 2012 plus corbel et al .
2013 , and references therein ) .
two main differences stand out with respect to the simple picture we used to draw a decade ago : firstly , there appears to be _ two luminosity tracks _ ( see gallo et al .
2012 for more details ) ; secondly , the behavior of the bhxrb h174322 ( in blue ) as observed during the decline of its its 2008 outburst ( jonker et al . 2010 ; miller - jones et al .
2012 ; miller et al .
2012 ) is in stark contrast with that of gx3394 and v404 cyg ( green and red , respectively ) : h174322 starts off as under - luminous in the radio band during the initial outburst decay phase ( @xmath12@xmath8@xmath13erg s@xmath1 ) , proceeds to make a nearly horizontal excursion toward lower x - ray luminosities ( between @xmath12@xmath8@xmath14erg s@xmath1 ) , and finally reaches a comparable radio luminosity level ( for the same @xmath8 ) as gx3394 and v404 cyg ( this happens below @xmath15 erg s@xmath1 ) .
whatever drives the relative radio quietness / loudness of bhxrbs in hard and quiescent states , thus , can not be linked to any physical property that remains constant over typical outburst time - scales ( e.g. , black hole spin , orbital inclination ; see soleri & fender 2011 ) .
coriat et al .
( 2011 ) ascribe the erratic behavior of h1743@xmath1122 , and by analogy that of other radio - quiet systems , to the onset of a radiatively efficient inflow ( see also krding , fender & migliari 2006 ) . along the same lines , a more theoretical basis for the existence of a radio - quiet ( or rather , x
- ray - bright ) track has been recently proposed by meyer - hofmeister & meyer ( 2014 ) , who argue that thermal photons from a weak , cool , inner disc ( sustained by re - condensation of optically thin gas within the inner regions ; meyer et al . 2007 ;
liu et al .
2007 ) could be responsible for enhancing the seed photon field available for comptonisation , and hence the hard x - ray flux . from a theoretical standpoint ( as well as observational ,
see e.g. miller et al .
2006 ; reis fabian & miller 2010 ; reynolds & miller 2013 and references therein ) , the inner cold disc would cease to exist at low accretion rate .
thus , _ the radio - quiet track is not expected to extend down to the quiescent regime .
_ though this exact behavior is just what was observed in the case h17143@xmath1122 , whether the inner disc re - condensation scenario will stand the test of time ( in terms of reproducing the x - ray and radio behavior of bhxrbs ) depends critically on our ability to probe the truly quiescent domain ( see calvelo et al .
2010 and miller - jones et al . 2011 for a detailed discussion on how distance limitations are likely to hamper a systematic investigation in the radio band ) . to date
, a0620@xmath1100 is the only truly quiescent system with a robust radio detection , and its radio luminosity seems to lie on the extrapolation of the gx339@xmath114 and v404 cyg radio / x - ray correlations down to eddington - scaled x - ray luminosities as low as @xmath16 ( gallo et al .
however , with a sample of one , and considering selection effects , this is a long way from conclusive . at the same time , a systematic study on the radio properties ( most notably spectral index and polarization degree ) of bhxrbs while on the radio quiet / x - ray bright track could provide complementary information on the physics that drives this apparent divide ( there are hints that the radio quiet " objects have slightly more optically thin radio spectra , brocksopp et al .
a good candidate for the origin of the flat spectrum , left unresolved in blandford & knigl ( 1979 ) , is internal shocks driven at the frequencies of the x - ray variability ( malzac 2013 ) .
+ determining the compact jet contribution at mm , infrared ( ir ) and optical frequencies is admittedly challenging ; much progress has been made in this direction over the last 10 years .
a growing number of works ( based both on spectral energy distribution analysis as well as variability studies ) support the claim that , while in the hard state , the compact jet extends all the way up to ir and often optical frequencies ( fender 2001 ; chaty et al .
2003 ; bradley et al .
2007 ; gallo et al .
2007 ; russell et al .
2010 , 2011b ; brocksopp et al .
2010 ; malzac et al .
2004 ; hynes et al .
2004 , 2006 , 2009 ; markoff & nowak 2007 ; casella et al .
most relevant to this section , russell et al .
( 2006 ) collected nearly - simultaneous ir / optical and x - ray observations of 33 x - ray binaries ( black holes and neutron stars ) to estimate the relative contributions of various ir / optical emission processes as a function of x - ray luminosity .
they found evidence for a positive correlation between the ir / optical and x - ray luminosity , of the form @xmath17@xmath9@xmath18 , extending all the way from the peak of the hard state down to the loses quiescent x - ray luminosities . notwithstanding the large scatter , no strong outliers , exceptions , sub - clusters or bifurcation have been reported so far for this relation .
once the rising source passes an x - ray luminosity of @xmath19 erg s@xmath1 ( albeit with substantial variations between sources and even between different outbursts of the same source ; see , e.g. , dunn et al .
2010 ) , at which level it will still be in the hard state , it is very likely to make a subsequent transition to a softer spectral state .
the transition from the hard state to the soft state can occur with very little change ( of order unity ) in the broadband luminosity of the system ( in spite of rather dramatic changes in the spectral shape ) , and has a number of very interesting characteristics .
for a ` typical ' bhxrb the spectral transition from hard to soft states can take days or weeks , but the evolution can be much more dramatic in terms of the x - ray power spectra .
while the hard and soft states appear to be dominated by strong ( @xmath20% ) and very weak ( @xmath21% ) broad band noise respectively , some phases during the transition can be completely dominated by strong peaked and qpo - like components .
casella et al .
( 2005 ) classified these qpos into three types : a , b & c , with strong type - bs being the most indicative of the transition .
the hard to soft transition is also where the brighest radio flares occur , sometimes singly and sometimes in sequences .
these radio flares can peak , in the 15 ghz band , at many times the preceding hard state flux density , and ( mostly ) evolve in a ` standard ' ( e.g. van der laan 1966 ) way from optically thick to thin as they ( presumably ) expand .
such flares are occasionally spatially resolved by radio telescopes into individual radio knots which move away from the radio core ( presumably the site of the black hole ) at ( at least ) mildly relativistic speeds ( e.g. mirabel & rodrguez 1994 ; hjellming & rupen 1995 ; fender et al . 1999 ; miller - jones et al .
it appears , although it is not at all proven , that these jets may move faster than those in the hard state , and so what we may be seeing is at least partially associated with internal shocks in a flow of variable ( increasing ) speed ( fender et al .
2004 and references therein ; fender et al .
however , it is certainly not clear that they are significantly more _ powerful _ than the preceding , bright , hard state jets .
there have been a number of attempts to associate the ` moment of jet launch ' with an associated change or event in the accretion flow .
fender , homan & belloni ( 2009 ) and miller - jones et al .
( 2012 ) both attempted to see if the momenet of jet launch could be associated with changes in the timing ( x - ray variability ) properties of a small number of black hole binaries , in particular with the occurrence of the type - b qpos ( see also discussion in soleri , belloni & casella 2008 ) . while they are certainly broadly coincident , a one - to - one relation could not be firmly established and whether or not there exists a key signature of the moment of launch remains unclear .
seemingly at odds with this statement , in the bright black hole binary grs 1915 + 105 , which undergoes long cycles of accretion state changes on timescales as short as minutes , it is clear that each cycle is associated with an ejection event , and possibly even with a particular moment in that cycle ( e.g. mirabel et al .
1998 ; klein - wolt et al .
however , these state changes appear to be compressed versions of what happens on longer timescales in other systems , and the blurring effect caused by the size scale of the radio emission makes direct association with some change difficult .
success is more likely in the infrared band , where much effort was made for grs 1915 + 105 ( e.g. fender et al .
1997 ; eikenberry et al . 1998 ; mirabel et al . 1998 ) but it is extremely hard to maintain minutes - resolution monitoring of a more normal black hole binary across its entire week - long transition phase . finally , it should be noted that there may be no clear ` moment of jet launch ' at all : internal shock models are showing promise in reproducing some of the radio properties of x - ray binaries ( e.g. jamil et al . 2010 ; malzac 2013 ) and it may be that a rapid , but not instantaneous , change in jet properties ( such as injection cycle time or speed ) are enough to reproduce what we see as bright flares in the radio band . in the soft state the x - ray spectrum is dominated by a blackbody - like component which peaks around 1 kev , combined with a steeper and weaker power law . the origin of the thermal component is likely to be an optically thick accretion disc .
the overall x - ray variability drops dramatically in this state ( often below 5% ) .
the core radio , mm and near - infrared emission drop dramatically in the soft state ( fender et al .
1999 ; russell et al .
2011a ) , the simplest interpretation of which is that the core jet has switched off .
a major breakthrough in understanding states appears to have arrived recently with ponti et al .
( 2012 ) demonstrating that accretion disc winds , revealed in x - ray spectra , appear to be uniquely observed in _ edge - on , soft - state _ bhxrbs ( caveat relatively poor sampling of late - time soft states , and some remaining small uncertainty about how evolving ionisation could affect this conclusion ) .
thus it seems that in moving from the hard to the soft state , we leave a regime of strong , quasi - steady jets and little , if any accretion disc wind and enter the converse regime , with strong winds and weak jets ( see also miller et al .
2006 , 2008 ; neilsen & lee 2009 ) .
these two regimes are probably not simply a rebalancing of the same outflow power , however , with the wind probably carrying less kinetic power but more mass than the hard state jet ( detailed calculations of kinetic energy , mass and momentum flux in these two modes have yet to be carried out , however ) .
the x - ray states described above have been done so from a viewpoint which is very much biased towards the outflows .
other very useful reviews , usually more focussed on the x - ray emission and what it tells us about the workings of the inner accretion flow , can be found in remillard & mcclintock ( 2006 ) , done , gierlinski & kubota ( 2007 ) , belloni , motta & munoz - daris ( 2011 ) .
the general pattern of hysteresis can also be viewed in other ways than the _ hardness - intensity _
diagram used in fig 1 . in particular munoz - darias , motta & belloni ( 2011 ) and plant et al .
( 2014 ) utilised _ rms - intensity _ and _ reflection - intensity _ diagrams respectively to show broadly the same patterns but shedding new light on the detailed evolution of the accretion flow ( see also belloni & stella , this book ) .
it should be noted that while the root cause of the outburst may be agreed upon as being the hydrogren ionisation instability , the origin of the accretion state cycles and associated spectral hysteresis is not at all clear .
there are published models which may be testable in the future ( e.g. petrucci et al .
2008 ; begelman & armitage 2014 and references therein ) , and very similar cycles of behaviour appear to be present in systems containing both neutron stars and white dwarfs ( krding et al .
2008b ; munoz - darias et al . in prep ) .
there are good reasons to believe that the patterns of behaviour observed in stellar - mass black holes should be scalable to intermediate mass black holes and supermassive black holes in active galactic nuclei , in fact there is strong observational support for this view .
merloni , heinz & di matteo ( 2003 ) and falcke krding & markoff ( 2004 ) presented the first evidence for relatively neat scalings of x - ray / radio luminosities and black hole mass , across the whole black hole mass range .
mchardy et al .
( 2006 ) and krding et al .
( 2007 ) made similar analyses for timing frequencies .
krding , jester & fender ( 2006 ) made an argument that the overall patterns of coupling between states and jets might be the same in agn , although this connection has really yet to be established convincingly ( see also krding , this book ) .
radiative and mechanical feedback from relativistic jets is thought to play a key role in regulating the growth of galactic bulges and their nuclear super - massive black holes .
empirical scaling relations between the mass of super - massive black holes in nearby galaxies and large scale properties of their host bulges , such as the well know
black - hole - mass / stellar velocity dispersion " relation ( see kormendy & ho 2013 for a recent review ) are interpreted as strong observational evidence for strong co - evolution . at the same time , state - of - the - art cosmological simulations ( e.g. khandai et al . 2014 ) that trace the assembly and merger history of galaxies and their nuclear black holes rely on some form of black hole- ( plus supernova ) -driven feedback in order to reproduce them .
nevertheless , even the most sophisticated models make use of over - simplified recipes for the relative efficiencies of accretion vs. jet power , and _ posit _ that the jet power , at least during the quasar phases , is set by the spin of the black hole .
as we discuss in the following sections , bhxbrs can actually help shed light on some of these processes .
the holy grail for relativistic jet astrophysics is to establish the jet formation mechanism .
more specifically , we would like to be able to identify observational signatures pointing unequivocally to models that rely solely on differential rotation ( blandford & payne 1982 ) vs. models that tap directly into the rotational energy of the black hole ( blandford & znajek 1977 ; bz ) .
while super - massive black holes in agn offer the advantage of vast demographics , bhxrbs in soft states provide us with a more favorable environment to systematically employ x - ray spectral fitting techniques to measure the temperature , and thus the extent , of the inner accretion disc ( see miller 2007 and reynolds 2013 for recent reviews , as well as reynolds , and mcclintock , narayan & steiner , this book ) .
this translates into an estimate of the black hole spin parameter @xmath22 , which can then be compared against the jet power @xmath23 in order to ( dis)prove a relation of the form @xmath24 , predicted by the bz model ( see tchekhovskoy et al .
2010 for a full relativistic traetment ) . how to measure @xmath23 ?
when it comes to bhxrbs , persistent , hard state , compact jets are a natural place to start . unfortunately ,
that the face - value radio luminosity of compact jets is at best a poor indicator of jet power is apparent from a number of considerations ; firstly , although compact jets seem to be persistently on during hard states , their flux density varies by orders of magnitude , with some non linear power of @xmath8 ( see section [ scaling ] ) .
in addition , it should be kept in mind that any inference of radio luminosity that is based on a single - frequency flux density measurement relies on assuming a specific spectral shape at lower frequencies ( often taken as flat ) .
further , extrapolating the integrated radio luminosity to total ( i.e. radiative plus kinetic ) jet power relies on even more crucial assumptions : @xmath25 on the location of the optically - thin - to thick jet break ( which is known to vary with overall luminosity , yet not necessarily as basic scaling relations would predict ; see next section ) ; @xmath26 on the location of the cooling break ( possibly constrained in one source , see again next section ) @xmath27 on the radiative efficiency of the synchrotron process . based on the above arguments , in attempt to test the presence of a correlation between jet power and spin parameter in hard state bhxrbs , fender , gallo & russell ( 2010 ) adopted a phenomenological approach whereby the relative normalization of the ( thought to be universal ) radio / x - ray and/or infrared / x - ray correlation were taken as a proxy for total jet power . perhaps not surprisingly , no evidence for a positive correlation between these normalisations and reported spin measurements emerged a result that could be interpreted as due the large uncertainties in measuring jet power ( and , to a second extent , spin ) .
a different approach was taken by king et al .
( 2013a ) , who found a marginally significant positive correlation between the mass - scaled radio luminosity and spin parameter across a sample of 11 bhrbs and 37 seyfert galaxies .
ideally , one would like to calibrate the radio luminosity - to - total jet power relation conversion via robust observational constraints on the amount of work exerted by the jets on the surrounding inter - stellar medium , and use jet - inflated radio lobes and cavities as effective jet calorimeters , similarly to what has been done for super - massive black holes in radio galaxies for decades .
unfortunately , the number of jet - powered large - scale structures is very slim for bhxrbs , mainly as a result of the jets propagating though under - dense environments compared to agn ( see heinz 2002 ) .
albeit the small number statistics , these large scale structures point towards the jets carrying away a substantial fraction of the overall accretion energy budget ( heinz & grimm 2005 ; gallo et al . 2005 ; fender , maccarone & van kesteren 2005 ; krding , jester & fender 2008 ; heinz , merloni & schwab 2007 , king et al .
2103b ) . + more recently , much excitement has grown around the claim of a positive correlation
consistent with the bz - predicted scaling between spin parameter and jet power _ for transient jets _
( narayan & mcclintock 2012 ; steiner , mcclintock & narayan 2013 ) . in these works ,
the mass - scaled peak radio luminosity of the giant radio flare that is often observed during hard - to - soft state transitions is taken as proxy for jet power ( while the spin measurements rely on fitting the broadband x - ray spectrum in pure thermal states ) . in a subsequent work , russell ,
gallo & fender ( 2013 ) argued against there being a significant correlation .
while the controversy is still open , much of the uncertainty depends on the relative scarcity of observations of eddington - limited bhxrbs , which are supposed to act as standard candles " ( cf .
steiner et al .
. the debate will likely settle over the next few years , as more and better data become available ; in the meantime , the number of possible exceptions to the @xmath28 scaling relation for transient jets may be growing ; the extragalactic bhxrb in m31 ( middleton , miller - jones & fender 2014 ) , and the galactic system 4u 1630472 ( king et al .
2014 ) seem to display too high / low ( respectively ) flare radio luminosity for their reported spin values ( unless exceptionally high values of jet boosting / de - boosting factor are at play ) . for the microquasar " in m31 ( middleton et al .
2013 ) , however , the significant uncertainty on the system inclination also allows for a reconciliation with the best - fit scaling relation reported by steiner et al .
( 2013 ) . for 4u 1630472 , the high spin parameter reported by king et al .
( 2014 ) relies on fitting the x - ray reflection spectrum rather than thermal continuum spectrum . while the number of discrepancies between the two spin - measuring methods is reported to be diminishing ( see discussions in miller et al . 2009 ;
fabian et al . 2012 ) , the consensus is that any convincing relation between jet power and spin parameter ought to be verified by both ( or , at least , that either spin - fitting method leading to the existence of a positive relation with jet power does not constitute a legitimate argument for invalidating the other ) .
+ an entirely new approach to measuring black hole spin has been recently devised by motta et al .
( 2014a , b ) ; rather than fitting x - ray energy spectra , this technique relies on the relativistic precession model quasi - period oscillations ( qpos ) in the power density spectra of bhxrbs ( stella & vietri 1999 ) .
this method has been successfully applied to the bhxrb gro j1655 - 40 ( motta et al .
2014a ) and xte j1550 - 564 ( motta et al .
2014b ) . in the former case
, the recovered black hole mass value matches the known system s mass function , while the spin value is not consistent with x - ray spectroscopy . in the latter ,
the spin value estimated from the relativistic precession model is consistent with x - ray spectroscopy ( while the known black hole mass was used to solve for spin ) .
going forward , this could prove an exceptionally powerful method to infer black hole spin and mass values , in that it is not affected by many of the complexities of radiative models . as briefly discussed in the previous section
, the location where the optically thick ( partially self - absorbed ) synchrotron spectrum breaks and becomes optically thin also determines the peak of the jet flux density .
standard synchrotron theory predicts this jet break frequency ( @xmath29 ) to scale with the mass accretion rate and black hole mass ( heinz & sunyaev 2003 ; markoff et al . 2001 , 2003 , 2005 ) .
for bhxrbs , assuming that the magnetic field and jet acceleration region size do not vary dramatically , a positive relation should exist between @xmath30 and mass accretion rate .
in order to test for such a correlation ( in the form of @xmath31@xmath8@xmath32 ) russell et al .
( 2013a ) performed a comprehensive literature search for nearly simultaneous multi - wavelength ( including radio , ir and optical ) data of bhxrbs in quiescent and hard states .
this work represents the most accurate and complete study on bhxbr jet spectral breaks to date , with 12 bhrxbs having constraints on @xmath30 .
no global relation was found with @xmath8 , from @xmath33 up to the eddington limit .
prior to this work , a _ shifting _ jet spectral break frequency ( that is , within the duration of a single outburst ) had been observed for one bhxrb only ; gx3394 ( gandhi et al .
2011 ; corbel et al .
russell et al .
( 2013a ) reported on the same behavior for xte j1118 + 480 , whose jet break frequency varied by more than one order of magnitude while the x - ray luminosity change was negligible .
more recently , high cadence , multi - wavelength monitoring of the 2011 outburst of maxi j1836194 ( russell et al .
2013b ) , showed even more severe discrepancies between the data and the expected scaling between @xmath30 and @xmath8 ; during the early days of the outburst , @xmath30 for maxi j1836194 moved almost perpendicular to theoretical line ( see fig [ fig : breaks ] ) , strongly indicating a much higher degree of complexity in the processes that regulate the jet special energy distribution , particularly during the initial phases of the compact jet recovery .
+ a second , major finding of this multi - wavelength campaign was the observational inference , for the first time , of the high energy synchrotron cooling break : @xmath34 hz . though the cooling break was not directly visible in the broad - band spectral energy distribution data ( see figure 7 of russell et al .
2013b for a zoom into the mid - ir to x - ray spectrum of maxi j1836194 as measured on 2011 sept 03 , along with the inset showing the ag 31 and sept 01 vlt spectrum ) , the presence of a high energy break in the above frequency range is necessary in order to reconcile the near - ir synchrotron power - law spectrum with the strength of the balmer absorption lines seen in the nearly simultaneous ( within a day ) vlt optical spectrum .
it is important to stress that , for x - ray binaries , the cooling break is expected to shift from from the ultraviolet to the x - ray band ( above 10 kev ) as @xmath8 increases from quiescence up to bright , hard x - ray states ( pe@xmath35er & markoff 2012 ) , while the reported value for maxi j1836194 falls into the optical band .
this has been interpreted by russell and collaborators as evidence for the jet already evolving early in the outburst , at the same time as the system is brightening and the disc begins filling in " .
the works discussed above serve to illustrate how high cadence , simultaneous , multi - wavelength monitoring of bhxbrs in outburst particularly when the more traditional radio / x - ray approach is integrated with sensitive spectroscopy at ir and optical frequencies hold the key to making further progress in this field .
+ a new avenue is also close to opening up for the study of x - ray binary outbursts : radio selected sources from wide - field searches . by the end of the current decade ( i.e. 2020 ) the first phase of the ska will have been constructed , alongside / incorporating the meerkat and askap telescopes . for the first time
large fractions of the sky ( of order unity steradians ) will be surveyed regularly ( daily ) and we should begin to find such events first by their radio emission .
the mid - frequency component of the first phase of the ska , ` ska@xmath36 mid ' , should be able to easily detect most galactic xrbs during the hard state rising phase , providing plenty of alert for new outbursts , as well as tracking sources all the way to quiescence , and monitoring xrbs in other galaxies ( fender 2004 ; see * www.skatelescope.org * for more information on the ska project ) .
one of the most important uncertainties in the study of relativistic jets ever since their discovery has been the question of their composition . in nearly all cases
the radiation from jets is synchrotron emission , which only requires the presence of leptons , leaving us little the wiser as to whether the jets are primarily electron : proton or electron : positron in composition .
the only exception to this case is ss433 , which is itself an highly unusual system which is hard to fit into existing classification schemes , and in which the jet may become baryon - loaded after launch by interactions with a massive and dense environment ( see begelman , king & pringle 2006 and references therein ) . in the past year , diaz - trigo et al .
( 2013 ) have reported the first evidence for strong atomic emission lines associated with relativistic jets in a ( low - mass ) black hole x - ray binary , 4u 1630 - 47 .
they report evidence for doppler - shifted emission lines originating in gas moving at @xmath37 , at the same time as optically thin radio emission is observed .
this is a very exciting discovery , although it seems unlikely this can be ubiquitous for all strong - jet states and it may be only associated with certain rare phases of the outburst cycle ( neilsen et al .
regardless of the duration of the active baryon - loaded jet phase , its presence gives us very important new clues into the power of the jets and their role in the mass flow close to the black hole .
in this brief review we ve attempted to provide a picture of the current empirical understanding of the coupling between accretion and outflow in stellar mass black holes .
a key development in the past few years have been a clearer picture of the role of baryons in outflows , both in the systematic coupling of winds to accretion states reported in ponti et al .
( 2012 ) , and the recent , very exciting , discovery of relativistically moving baryons in a low - mass x - ray binary ( diaz - trigo et al . 2013 ) .
understanding these phenomena more deeply should allow us to really being to understand the flow of mass and energy near accreting black holes in different accretion states .
the investigation of whether or not black hole spin really powers relativistic jets ( part or all of the time ) continues , and the results remain tantalising but unclear ( to us ) . without doubt
this is one of the most important avenues of research in high - energy astrophysics research right now .
what drives the ` radio loud ' and ` radio quiet ' branches in the hard x - ray states is a mystery ( although its not spin ! ) , and whether or not everything ( anything ? ) we learn from black hole x - ray binaries is really applicable to agn remains to be proven .
much , much , more remains to be done , observationally and theoretically , and this will be in part driven by new facilties such as the ska , and by renewed interests in the origin of x - ray binary states and accretion cycles .
rpf would like to acknowledge an almost uncountable number of conversations with many collaborators over the past two decades . during this particular writing period
he has learnt from teo munoz - darias , gabriele ponti , mickael coriat , dan plant and joey neilsen .
eg would like to thank stephane corbel for sharing his radio and x - ray luminosity data set , dave and tom russell for sharing their data on spectral break frequencies .
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2008b science , 320 , 1318 king a. l.
et al . , 2013a , apj , 771 , 84 , 12 king a. l. et al . , 2013b , apj , 762 , 18 king a. l. et al . , 2014 ,
apj , 784 , l2 , 6 kormendy j. & ho , l. 2013 , araa , 51 , 511 jamil , o. ; fender , r. p. ; kaiser , c. r. , 2010 , mnras , 401 , 394 joinet , a. ; kalemci , e. ; senziani , f. , 2008 , apj , 679 , 655 jonker p. g. et al . , 2010 , mnras , 401 , 1255 liu b. f. et al .
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a&a , 397 , 645 markoff s. , nowak m. & wilms j. , 2005 , apj , 635 , 1203 markoff s. & nowak m. , 2007 , apj , 609 , 972 mart j. , 2005 , mmsai , 76 , 592 miller , j. m. , homan , j. , miniutti , g. , 2006 , apj , 652 , l113 miller , j. m. , 2007 , araa , 45 , 441 mcclintock j. e. & remillard r. a. , 2006 , black hole binaries .
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, shahbaz t. , 2014 , mnras , 438 , 2083 russell t. d. et al . 2013b , mnras in press ( 2014mnras.tmp..180r ) reis r. c. , fabian a. c. & miller j. m. , 2010 , mnras , 402 , 836 reynolds c. s. , 2013 , space science reviews ( arxiv:1302.3260 ) reynolds m. t. & miller j. m. , 2013 , apj , 769 , 16 soleri p. , belloni t. , casella p. , 2008
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lett . , 82 , 17 tchekhovskoy a. et al . , 2010 , apj , 711 , 50 van der laan h. , 1966 , nature , 211 , 1131 | arxiv |
Kristina Maria Gjerde is a High Seas Policy Advisor for the International Union for Conservation of Nature Global Marine and Polar Program. She works on the Global Ocean Biodiversity Initiative and won the 2018 Boat International Visionary Ocean Award. Gjerde currently lives in the greater Boston area.
Education and early career
Gjerde studied history at University of California, Los Angeles. She graduated summa cum laude in 1981. She moved to the east coast and studied law at New York University, graduating Juris Doctor in 1984. She worked on the use of space technology in conflict prevention as an intern at the United Nations. She specialised in admiralty law at Lord Day & Lord. She was not allowed to join the admiralty law social club, the Whitehall Club, as it did not accept women members. During a scuba diving trip to Palau, Gjerde became interested in protecting the oceans. She was awarded a two-year fellowship at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution in 1988. She evaluated the international protection that was given to Caribbean coral reefs. This report made her realise that it was possible to force constructive change through analysis and negotiation. She greatly admired Elisabeth Mann Borgese. She joined the University of Hull as a research fellow and lecturer. She has represented the World Wide Fund for Nature at the International Maritime Organization since 1993.
Career
Since 2002, Gjerde has served as High Seas Policy Advisor for the International Union for Conservation of Nature. At the International Union for Conservation of Nature Gjerde is responsible for helping communities and governments protect the environment. In 2003, Gjerde was awarded a Pew Foundation fellowship in marine conservation to promote improved legal regimes for oceans that were beyond the jurisdiction of nations. She was elected as New York University School of Law's alumna of the month in 2004. She worked on ways to protect deep-sea coral ecosystems. Gjerde delivered a TED talk, Making law on the high seas, in 2014. Since 2015, Gjerde has been a member of the Cambridge Conservation Agenda for Biodiversity Beyond National Jurisdiction and the EU project Managing Impacts of Deep Sea Resource Exploitation (MIDAS). She is an adjunct professor at the Middlebury Institute of International Studies at Monterey, teaching the Masters program on International Environmental Policy. She is interested in how we can use law, science, technology and economics to manage global oceans. She was made an honorary fellow at the University of Edinburgh in 2016. She actively participates in the Biodiversity Beyond National Jurisdictions negotiations at the United Nations and the negotiations on deep sea mining regulations at the International Seabed Authority.
Gjerde has delivered several keynote talks on ocean conservation. She co-founded and helped to lead the Deep Ocean Stewardship Initiative, the Deep Sea Conservation Coalition, the High Seas Alliance, the Global Ocean Biodiversity Initiative and the Sargasso Sea Project.
Deep Sea Conservation Coalition
The Deep Sea Conservation Coalition (founded 2004) work to address to issue of bottom trawling in high seas, which has harmful impacts on the environment. They look to reduce the greatest threats to life and safeguard the health of deep-sea ecosystems.
Global Ocean Biodiversity Initiative
The Global Ocean Biodiversity Initiative (founded 2008) is an international partnership that supports conservation of biological diversity in the deep sea and open ocean. They develop data, tools and methods to identify ocean areas in need of special care. She supports this with the German Federal Agency for Nature Conservation. They found that female northern elephant seals swim halfway across the pacific to find areas to feed. They identified where white sharks congregate in the northeastern Pacific. She was involved with the 2018 celebrations for the ten-year anniversary of the initiatives.
Sargasso Sea Alliance
The Sargasso Sea Alliance (founded 2010) looks to protect the health and productivity of the Sargasso Sea. It looks to serve as a model for ways to achieve protective status for areas beyond national jurisdiction. She published Lessons from the Sargasso Sea in 2016. In 2016 the Northwest Atlantic Fisheries Organization closed the Corner Rise Seamounts and New England Seamounts to bottom fishing.
High Seas Alliance
The High Seas Alliance (founded 2011) is a partnership of organisation that conserve the high seas through international cooperation and governance. They work with global leaders, non-governmental members and the International Union for Conservation of Nature.
Deep Ocean Stewardship Initiative
The Deep-Ocean Stewardship Initiative (founded 2013) use stake-holder workshops, publications and surveys to engage experts in law, policy, economics and conservation. They work with national and global policymakers, as well as educators and civilians.
Gjerde won the 2018 Boat International Media Visionary Ocean Award.
Publications
Gjerde has published in many journals including the Journal of Marine and Coastal Law, the Ocean Yearbook, and Science.
Family
Gjerde was born in 1957 and is the daughter of Hildegard Huntsman and Marion Wilbur Gjerde. She is married to Adam de Sola Pool and has a son.
References
Women oceanographers
University of California, Los Angeles alumni
New York University alumni
Admiralty law
People from California
American women lawyers
American lawyers
American women scientists | slim_pajama |
copyright:
years: 2015, 2016
---
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{:shortdesc: .shortdesc}
{:prereq: .prereq}
{:download: .download}
{:pre: .pre}
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# App mit der Befehlszeilenschnittstelle bereitstellen
*Letzte Aktualisierung: 24. Februar 2016*
{: .last-updated}
Mithilfe der Befehlszeilenschnittstelle können Sie Anwendungen und Serviceinstanzen bereitstellen und ändern.
{:shortdesc}
Installieren Sie vor Beginn die Cloud Foundry- und {{site.data.keyword.Bluemix}}-Befehlszeilenschnittstellen.
<p>
<a class="xref" href="https://github.com/cloudfoundry/cli/releases" target="_blank" title="(Wird in einer neuen Registerkarte oder in einem neuen Fenster geöffnet)"><img class="image" src="images/btn_cf_commandline.svg" alt="Cloud Foundry-Befehlszeilenschnittstelle herunterladen" /> </a> <a class="xref" href="http://clis.ng.bluemix.net/ui/home.html" target="_blank" title="(Wird in einer neuen Registerkarte oder in einem neuen Fenster geöffnet)"><img class="image" src="images/btn_bx_commandline.svg" alt=" {{site.data.keyword.Bluemix}}-Befehlszeilenschnittstelle herunterladen" /> </a>
</p>
**Einschränkung:** Die Befehlszeilentools werden von Cygwin nicht unterstützt. Verwenden Sie die Tools in einem anderen Befehlszeilenfenster als dem Cygwin-Befehlszeilenfenster.
{:prereq}
Nach der Installation der Befehlszeilenschnittstellen können Sie beginnen:
1. {: download} Laden Sie den Starter-Code herunter.
<a class="xref" href="http://bluemix.net" target="_blank" title="(Wird in einer neuen Registerkarte oder in einem neuen Fenster geöffnet)"><img class="image" src="images/btn_starter-code.svg" alt="Starter-Code herunterladen" /> </a>
2. Extrahieren Sie das Paket in ein neues Verzeichnis, um Ihre Entwicklungsumgebung einzurichten.
3. Wechseln Sie in Ihr neues Verzeichnis.
<pre class="pre">cd <var class="keyword varname">neues_verzeichnis</var></pre>
4. Nehmen Sie die gewünschten Änderungen an Ihrem App-Code vor. Es wird empfohlen, zunächst sicherzustellen, dass sich die App lokal ausführen lässt, bevor sie wieder in {{site.data.keyword.Bluemix}} bereitgestellt wird.<br><br>Eine Datei, die zu beachten ist, ist die Datei `manifest.yml`. Wenn Ihre App wieder in {{site.data.keyword.Bluemix}} bereitgestellt wird, dient diese Datei zum Ermitteln der URL, der Speicherzuordnung, der Anzahl von Instanzen und anderer wichtiger Parameter für Ihre Anwendung. Weitere [Informationen zur Manifestdatei](https://docs.cloudfoundry.org/devguide/deploy-apps/manifest.html){: new_window} finden Sie in der Cloud Foundry-Dokumentation.
5. Stellen Sie eine Verbindung zu {{site.data.keyword.Bluemix}} her.
<pre class="pre">bluemix api https://api.<span class="keyword" data-hd-keyref="DomainName">domänenname</span></pre>
6. Melden Sie sich bei {{site.data.keyword.Bluemix_notm}} an.
<pre class="pre">bluemix login -u <var class="keyword varname" data-hd-keyref="user_ID">benutzername</var> -o <var class="keyword varname" data-hd-keyref="org_name">organisationsname</var> -s <var class="keyword varname" data-hd-keyref="space_name">bereichsname</var></pre>
7. Stellen Sie Ihre Anwendung für {{site.data.keyword.Bluemix_notm}} bereit. Weitere Informationen zum Befehl 'cf push' finden Sie unter [Anwendung hochladen](./upload_app.html).
<pre class="pre">cf push <var class="keyword varname" data-hd-keyref="app_name">app-name</var></pre>
8. Greifen Sie auf die App zu, indem Sie die folgende URL in Ihren Browser eingeben:
<pre class="codeblock"><code><var class="keyword varname" data-hd-keyref="host">host</var>.<span class="keyword" data-hd-keyref="APPDomain">App-Domänenname</span></code></pre>
| slim_pajama |
Trying to figure out what these elements have in common [closed]
**Closed**. This question is [opinion-based](/help/closed-questions). It is not currently accepting answers.
---
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Closed 8 years ago.
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I have an old periodic table and I marked five metals from groups 1A and 2A with dots to indicate something about them. Only all this time later I can't figure out what exactly it was. I've been trying to figure it out for ages.
The elements are: Li, Na, K, Ca, Ba.
Doesn't anyone know any properties that just those elements, or maybe even just primarily those five, share that I could have been marking them for?
They are all member of the s block in the periodic table. It means they all have valence electron in the s orbital.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
late - onset lipid storage myopathy ( lsm ) is an autosomal recessive muscular disorder associated with errors of fatty acid , amino acid , and choline metabolism .
the four main genetic causes of lsm are multiple acyl - coenzyme a dehydrogenase deficiency ( madd , omim 231680 ) , primary carnitine deficiency ( omim 212140 ) , neutral lipid storage disease with myopathy ( omim 610717 ) , and neutral lipid storage disease with ichthyosis ( omim 25630 ) . the mutations of electron transfer flavoprotein dehydrogenase ( etfdh ) gene have been described in a considerable number of patients and madd appears to be a rather main form of lsm in chinese population .
previous data indicated that the etfdh - c.250g > a had a high mutation frequency in southern china whereas c.770a > g and c.1227a > c were more widespread hot spot mutations in both southern and northern china .
the clinical symptoms of late - onset madd are heterogeneous , varying from pure muscle weakness to serious metabolism crisis .
patients predominantly present in adolescence or adulthood with episodes of proximal myopathy , exercise intolerance , vomiting , hypoglycemia , and encephalopathy usually triggered by metabolic stress .
since the clinical manifestations of late - onset madd are highly heterogeneous and relatively unspecific , the ultimate diagnosis is based on a standard muscle biopsy and genetic analysis , none of which is widely available on different levels of hospitals .
in such situation , we need a helpful and practical tool to formulate a reasonable diagnosis or limit the differential diagnosis . in the last decade , as a noninvasive tool in the diagnosis , various muscle magnetic resonance imaging ( mri ) patterns of neuromuscular diseases have been found .
mri allows detection and characterization of much muscular pathology , such as inflammation , atrophy , edema , and fat infiltration .
for diagnostic purposes , t1- and t2-weighted axial images of lower limbs may be sufficient for muscular dystrophy .
hence , muscle mri has been widely used in accessory diagnosis of spinal muscular atrophy , limb girdle muscular dystrophy ( lgmd ) , duchenne muscular dystrophy / becker muscular dystrophy ( dmd / bmd ) , and congenital muscular dystrophy ( cmd ) , especially in the absence of robust muscle biopsy results .
recently , a case report highlighted the diagnostic clues and body fat mri in metabolic disorders .
indeed , muscle mri pattern in late - onset madd due to etfdh gene mutations has not been systematic analyzed and concluded . based on our initial clinical , genetic , and treatment studies in a large cohort of chinese patients with late - onset madd ,
we were interested to characterize the disease - specific patterns of involved muscle by the pelvic girdle and thigh muscles mri to help in diagnostic work - up , exploring the diagnostic value of muscle mri on late - onset madd .
in total , 28 patients ( 18 males and 10 females ) visited the first affiliated hospital of fujian medical university from january 2012 to december 2015 , and these patients were pathologically and genetically diagnosed as late - onset madd and recruited to perform the muscle mri scan of pelvis and thigh muscles . in addition , cases involving lipid storage abnormalities secondary to steroids and mitochondrial diseases were excluded .
this study was approved by the ethical committees of the first affiliated hospital of fujian medical university .
basic information , including gender , age , onset age , and family history , was first collected . before riboflavin treatment
, manual muscle testing ( mmt ) , blood biochemistry , muscle biopsy , abdominal ultrasonography , electromyography ( emg ) , and acylcarnitine and urine organic acids profile were performed .
muscle strength grade in mmt scoring was counted and referenced to kendall 010 point scale as previously described .
the strength of 14 muscles distributed in neck , proximal limb , and distal limb was examined .
the proximal limb muscles contained deltoid , biceps , triceps , iliopsoas , gluteus medius , gluteus maximus , posterior group , and quadriceps femoris .
the muscles in distal limb were wrist flexion , wrist extension , ankle dorsiflexion , and ankle plantar flexion .
blood biochemistry test items were creatinine kinase ( ck ) , mb isoenzyme of ck , aspartate amino transferase ( ast ) , lactate dehydrogenase ( ldh ) , and blood lactic acid deficiency ( lac ) .
blood acylcarnitine and urine organic acid profiles were analyzed by tandem mass spectrometry ( ms / ms ) and gas chromatography - mass spectrometry , respectively .
hematoxylin - eosin ( he ) and oil red o ( oro ) staining were carried out . after informed consent , peripheral blood samples were collected from these patients and their available immediate relatives .
polymerase chain reaction ( pcr ) was performed to amplify the exons of etfa , etfb , and etfdh genes .
mri scans of the lower limbs were performed on a 3.0-t whole - body scanner ( magnetom verio ; siemens ag , erlangen , germany ) before riboflavin treatment .
coronal , horizontal , and anteroposterior axial planes of the pelvis and bilateral thighs were obtained by the conventional t1- and t2-weighted spin - echo sequences .
short tau inversion recovery ( stir ) sequences for fat suppression were also available for all the individuals .
sections were generally analyzed with pelvis and mid - upper thighs , for the reason that muscle bulk is greatest at this level and that muscle abnormality could be more clearly visualized .
the combination of t1-/t2-weighted imaging with stir sequences was used to assess the degree of muscle fat infiltration and atrophy .
individual thigh muscles were scored for fat infiltration , including anterior ( sartorius , rectus femoris , vastus lateralis , vastus intermedius , and vastus medialis ) , medial ( gracilis , adductor longus , adductor brevis , and adductor magnus ) , and posterior thigh muscle groups ( biceps femoris , semitendinosus , and semimembranosus ) .
the degree of fat infiltration in single muscle is described as follows : grade 0 , normal ; grade 1 , punctate hyperintense ; grade 2 , mildly abnormal ( fatty streaks detected below 30% muscle volume ) ; grade 3 , moderately abnormal ( hyperintense detected among 3060% muscle volume ) ; grade 4 , severely abnormal ( hyperintense detected above 60% muscle volume ) ; and grade 5 , terminal stage ( hyperintense in the whole muscle ) .
the frequent of gluteus involvement was calculated to represent the degree of fat infiltration in gluteus .
the mean scores were compared among muscle groups using one - way analysis of variance .
the comparison between two muscle groups was conducted by dunnett 's t3 test due to the heterogeneity of variance .
in total , 28 patients ( 18 males and 10 females ) visited the first affiliated hospital of fujian medical university from january 2012 to december 2015 , and these patients were pathologically and genetically diagnosed as late - onset madd and recruited to perform the muscle mri scan of pelvis and thigh muscles . in addition , cases involving lipid storage abnormalities secondary to steroids and mitochondrial diseases were excluded .
this study was approved by the ethical committees of the first affiliated hospital of fujian medical university .
basic information , including gender , age , onset age , and family history , was first collected . before riboflavin treatment
, manual muscle testing ( mmt ) , blood biochemistry , muscle biopsy , abdominal ultrasonography , electromyography ( emg ) , and acylcarnitine and urine organic acids profile were performed .
muscle strength grade in mmt scoring was counted and referenced to kendall 010 point scale as previously described .
the strength of 14 muscles distributed in neck , proximal limb , and distal limb was examined .
the proximal limb muscles contained deltoid , biceps , triceps , iliopsoas , gluteus medius , gluteus maximus , posterior group , and quadriceps femoris .
the muscles in distal limb were wrist flexion , wrist extension , ankle dorsiflexion , and ankle plantar flexion .
blood biochemistry test items were creatinine kinase ( ck ) , mb isoenzyme of ck , aspartate amino transferase ( ast ) , lactate dehydrogenase ( ldh ) , and blood lactic acid deficiency ( lac ) .
blood acylcarnitine and urine organic acid profiles were analyzed by tandem mass spectrometry ( ms / ms ) and gas chromatography - mass spectrometry , respectively .
hematoxylin - eosin ( he ) and oil red o ( oro ) staining were carried out .
after informed consent , peripheral blood samples were collected from these patients and their available immediate relatives .
polymerase chain reaction ( pcr ) was performed to amplify the exons of etfa , etfb , and etfdh genes .
mri scans of the lower limbs were performed on a 3.0-t whole - body scanner ( magnetom verio ; siemens ag , erlangen , germany ) before riboflavin treatment .
coronal , horizontal , and anteroposterior axial planes of the pelvis and bilateral thighs were obtained by the conventional t1- and t2-weighted spin - echo sequences .
short tau inversion recovery ( stir ) sequences for fat suppression were also available for all the individuals .
sections were generally analyzed with pelvis and mid - upper thighs , for the reason that muscle bulk is greatest at this level and that muscle abnormality could be more clearly visualized .
the combination of t1-/t2-weighted imaging with stir sequences was used to assess the degree of muscle fat infiltration and atrophy .
individual thigh muscles were scored for fat infiltration , including anterior ( sartorius , rectus femoris , vastus lateralis , vastus intermedius , and vastus medialis ) , medial ( gracilis , adductor longus , adductor brevis , and adductor magnus ) , and posterior thigh muscle groups ( biceps femoris , semitendinosus , and semimembranosus ) .
the degree of fat infiltration in single muscle is described as follows : grade 0 , normal ; grade 1 , punctate hyperintense ; grade 2 , mildly abnormal ( fatty streaks detected below 30% muscle volume ) ; grade 3 , moderately abnormal ( hyperintense detected among 3060% muscle volume ) ; grade 4 , severely abnormal ( hyperintense detected above 60% muscle volume ) ; and grade 5 , terminal stage ( hyperintense in the whole muscle ) .
the frequent of gluteus involvement was calculated to represent the degree of fat infiltration in gluteus .
the mean scores were compared among muscle groups using one - way analysis of variance .
the comparison between two muscle groups was conducted by dunnett 's t3 test due to the heterogeneity of variance .
among the 28 patients , the mean onset age was 21.0 11.1 years , ranged from 3 to 55 years .
proximal muscle weakness was found as the most frequent initial symptom in 24 patients ( 85.7% ) .
all patients exhibited exercise intolerance and weakness of proximal limbs as well as neck muscle .
sixteen ( 57.1% ) patients displayed gastrointestinal symptoms , such as nausea , vomiting , or diarrhea .
two patients were found to have muscle atrophy in bilateral thighs . when analyzed the muscle strength ,
the most severely involved muscles were neck muscle , deltoid , iliopsoas , gluteus maximus , and gluteus medius .
means of muscle strength of gluteus maximus , gluteus medius , hamstrings , and quadriceps femoris . clinical manifestation and accessory examinations of 28 late - onset madd patients values
/ n or median ( range ) . upper limit of normal : ck , 140 u / l ; ckmb , 27 u / l ; ast , 40 u / l ; ldh , 245 u / l ; and lac , 2.10 mmol / l .
madd : multiple acyl - coenzyme a dehydrogenation deficiency ; ck : creatinine kinase ; ckmb : mb isoenzyme of creatinine kinase ; ast : aspartate aminotransferase ; ldh : lactate dehydrogenase ; lac : lactic acid deficiency . among the 28 patients ,
five missense mutations in etfdh were detected , including c.250g > a , c.380t > a , c.770a > g , c.1601c > t , and c.524g > a .
twenty - one patients ( 75.0% ) were c.250g > a homozygote , as well as five heterozygous patients also carried c.250g > a .
three patients complained a suspect family history of this disease and six patients had heterozygous parents .
the median and range of ck , ast , ldh , and lac are summarized in table 1 . for most patients , the muscle enzyme values ranged from normal to 29 times of normal upper limits [ table 1 ] .
twenty - two patients ( 78.6% ) showed a high lac level . in the blood acylcarnitine profile test
, 21 patients ( 21/28 , 75.0% ) represented increased multiple acylcarnitines while three patients showed decreased multiple acylcarnitines and free carnitine .
for the emg examination , 25 patients ( 89.3% ) were found myopathic changes and the remaining were neurogenic or no obvious myopathic changes . for twenty patients carried abdominal ultrasonography examination , six patients ( 30.0% ) showed fatty liver in varying degrees .
all the patients showed vacuolus on he staining and lipid droplets deposition on oro staining of the muscle fibers .
there was obvious variability in the severity degree of muscle mri results among the patients included .
two patients were sparing of muscle involvement whereas the other 26 patients symmetrically developed mild to severe muscle involvement , including fat infiltration and atrophy [ figures 24 ] .
muscle involvement could be identified in patients with either homozygous mutation or compound heterozygous mutation [ figures 3 and 4 ] .
the detailed muscle fat infiltration scores of each patient are listed in supplement table 1 . at thigh level , a major involvement of the posterior thigh muscle group was noticeable .
the mean scores for fat infiltration of anterior , medial , and posterior thigh muscle groups were 0.13 0.22 , 0.47 0.40 , and 1.35 0.75 , respectively .
the mean scores were significantly different among the three groups of thigh muscles ( p < 0.001 ) . in the comparison of each two muscle groups ,
the mean of fat infiltration scores on posterior was significantly higher than either anterior or medial thigh muscle group ( p < 0.001 ) [ figure 5 ] .
moreover , the mean on medial thigh muscle group was significantly higher than that of anterior thigh muscle group ( p < 0.01 ) [ figure 5 ] .
twelve patients ( 42.9% ) exhibited thigh muscle atrophy , especially in medial and posterior thigh muscle groups .
of 24 patients , 15 ( 62.5% ) who conducted gluteus muscle mri displayed fat infiltration and atrophy in gluteus muscles .
twelve patients showed atrophy especially in medial and/or posterior thigh muscle groups , which had the similar distribution with fat infiltrated muscles , especially in posterior group .
it was worth noting that increased stir signal , suggestive of edema and inflammation , was found in none of pelvic and thigh muscles in our patients [ table 2 ] .
t2-weighted images ( a , c , e , and g ) and fat suppression images ( b , d , f , and h ) showed mild fat infiltrated regions ( arrows ) from a male with c.250g > a homozygous mutation on coronal scanning ( a and b ) , anteroposterior axes of right thigh ( c and d ) , horizontal scanning of pelvic ( e and f ) and thigh ( g and h ) level . t2-weighted images ( a , c , d , e , and g ) and fat suppression images ( b , f , and h ) showed serious fat infiltrated regions ( arrows ) from a male with c.250g > a homozygous mutation on coronal scanning ( a and b ) , anteroposterior axes of bilateral thighs ( c and d ) , horizontal scanning of pelvic ( e and f ) and thigh ( g and h ) level .
t2-weighted ( a , c , e , and g ) and fat suppression images ( b , d , f , and h ) showed serious fat infiltrated regions ( arrows ) from a female with c.250g > a , c.770a > g compound heterozygous mutation on coronal scanning ( a and b ) , anteroposterior axes of right thigh ( c and d ) , horizontal scanning of pelvic ( e and f ) and thigh ( g and h ) level .
thigh muscle fat infiltration scores of 28 late - onset madd patients madd : multiple acyl - coenzyme a dehydrogenation deficiency .
the mean of thigh muscle fat infiltration scores in three thigh muscle groups ( * p < 0.01 , p < 0.001 ) . lower limbs muscle mri changes of 28 late - onset madd patients values are presented as n / n .
madd : multiple acyl - coenzyme a dehydrogenation deficiency ; mri : magnetic resonance imaging .
among the 28 patients , the mean onset age was 21.0 11.1 years , ranged from 3 to 55 years .
proximal muscle weakness was found as the most frequent initial symptom in 24 patients ( 85.7% ) .
all patients exhibited exercise intolerance and weakness of proximal limbs as well as neck muscle .
sixteen ( 57.1% ) patients displayed gastrointestinal symptoms , such as nausea , vomiting , or diarrhea .
two patients were found to have muscle atrophy in bilateral thighs . when analyzed the muscle strength ,
the most severely involved muscles were neck muscle , deltoid , iliopsoas , gluteus maximus , and gluteus medius .
means of muscle strength of gluteus maximus , gluteus medius , hamstrings , and quadriceps femoris . clinical manifestation and accessory examinations of 28 late - onset madd patients values
/ n or median ( range ) . upper limit of normal : ck , 140 u / l ; ckmb , 27 u / l ; ast , 40 u / l ; ldh , 245 u / l ; and lac , 2.10 mmol / l .
madd : multiple acyl - coenzyme a dehydrogenation deficiency ; ck : creatinine kinase ; ckmb : mb isoenzyme of creatinine kinase ; ast : aspartate aminotransferase ; ldh : lactate dehydrogenase ; lac : lactic acid deficiency .
among the 28 patients , five missense mutations in etfdh were detected , including c.250g > a , c.380t > a , c.770a > g , c.1601c > t , and c.524g > a .
twenty - one patients ( 75.0% ) were c.250g > a homozygote , as well as five heterozygous patients also carried c.250g > a .
three patients complained a suspect family history of this disease and six patients had heterozygous parents .
the median and range of ck , ast , ldh , and lac are summarized in table 1 . for most patients , the muscle enzyme values ranged from normal to 29 times of normal upper limits [ table 1 ] .
twenty - two patients ( 78.6% ) showed a high lac level . in the blood acylcarnitine profile test , 21 patients ( 21/28 , 75.0% ) represented increased multiple acylcarnitines while three patients showed decreased multiple acylcarnitines and free carnitine .
for the emg examination , 25 patients ( 89.3% ) were found myopathic changes and the remaining were neurogenic or no obvious myopathic changes . for twenty patients carried abdominal ultrasonography examination , six patients ( 30.0% ) showed fatty liver in varying degrees .
all the patients showed vacuolus on he staining and lipid droplets deposition on oro staining of the muscle fibers .
there was obvious variability in the severity degree of muscle mri results among the patients included .
two patients were sparing of muscle involvement whereas the other 26 patients symmetrically developed mild to severe muscle involvement , including fat infiltration and atrophy [ figures 24 ] .
muscle involvement could be identified in patients with either homozygous mutation or compound heterozygous mutation [ figures 3 and 4 ] .
the detailed muscle fat infiltration scores of each patient are listed in supplement table 1 . at thigh level , a major involvement of the posterior thigh muscle group was noticeable .
the mean scores for fat infiltration of anterior , medial , and posterior thigh muscle groups were 0.13 0.22 , 0.47 0.40 , and 1.35 0.75 , respectively .
the mean scores were significantly different among the three groups of thigh muscles ( p < 0.001 ) . in the comparison of each two muscle groups ,
the mean of fat infiltration scores on posterior was significantly higher than either anterior or medial thigh muscle group ( p < 0.001 ) [ figure 5 ] .
moreover , the mean on medial thigh muscle group was significantly higher than that of anterior thigh muscle group ( p < 0.01 ) [ figure 5 ] .
twelve patients ( 42.9% ) exhibited thigh muscle atrophy , especially in medial and posterior thigh muscle groups .
of 24 patients , 15 ( 62.5% ) who conducted gluteus muscle mri displayed fat infiltration and atrophy in gluteus muscles .
twelve patients showed atrophy especially in medial and/or posterior thigh muscle groups , which had the similar distribution with fat infiltrated muscles , especially in posterior group .
it was worth noting that increased stir signal , suggestive of edema and inflammation , was found in none of pelvic and thigh muscles in our patients [ table 2 ] .
t2-weighted images ( a , c , e , and g ) and fat suppression images ( b , d , f , and h ) showed mild fat infiltrated regions ( arrows ) from a male with c.250g > a homozygous mutation on coronal scanning ( a and b ) , anteroposterior axes of right thigh ( c and d ) , horizontal scanning of pelvic ( e and f ) and thigh ( g and h ) level . t2-weighted images ( a , c , d , e , and g ) and fat suppression images ( b , f , and h ) showed serious fat infiltrated regions ( arrows ) from a male with c.250g > a homozygous mutation on coronal scanning ( a and b ) , anteroposterior axes of bilateral thighs ( c and d ) , horizontal scanning of pelvic ( e and f ) and thigh ( g and h ) level
. t2-weighted ( a , c , e , and g ) and fat suppression images ( b , d , f , and h ) showed serious fat infiltrated regions ( arrows ) from a female with c.250g > a , c.770a > g compound heterozygous mutation on coronal scanning ( a and b ) , anteroposterior axes of right thigh ( c and d ) , horizontal scanning of pelvic ( e and f ) and thigh ( g and h ) level .
thigh muscle fat infiltration scores of 28 late - onset madd patients madd : multiple acyl - coenzyme a dehydrogenation deficiency .
the mean of thigh muscle fat infiltration scores in three thigh muscle groups ( * p < 0.01 , p < 0.001 ) .
lower limbs muscle mri changes of 28 late - onset madd patients values are presented as
madd : multiple acyl - coenzyme a dehydrogenation deficiency ; mri : magnetic resonance imaging .
in this study , we have identified and evaluated the muscle mri finding in a cohort of late - onset lsm patients carried pathological etfdh gene mutations .
our results indicated that lower limbs mri is an additional and helpful tool in guiding the clinical diagnosis of late - onset madd .
a previous mri findings about madd have described those t2 hyperintense lesions in the bilateral globus pallidus in a young child with neonatal - onset form . while a recent report using whole - body mri revealed an increase subcutaneous fat but normal visceral fat , despite fatty liver and lipid storage in muscle , in a young patient with a novel homozygous missense mutation in etfdh gene .
these studies only paid attention on the brain lesion or body fat distribution . herein , we focused on the lower limbs muscle mri findings , including fat infiltration and atrophy , in a group of patients with clinical , pathological , and genetic diagnosed as late - onset madd .
the complete clinical information allowed us to provide a systematic analysis of the muscle mri pattern and correlate the severity of the mri finding with the severity of clinical impairments .
mri plays an important role in detecting alterations in muscle morphology and signal intensity characteristics associated with many neuromuscular disorders although a limited number of nonspecific pathophysiologic changes ( e.g. , fat infiltration , atrophy , edema , and fibrosis ) respond to various muscle damages .
mri shows pathological changes of parenchymal alterations in muscle based on these major patterns of fat infiltration , atrophy , or edema .
our current results suggested that patients with late - onset madd showed a rather homogenous pattern of muscle pathology on muscle mri .
indeed , the majority of our patients presented a relatively homogenous involvement of posterior compartment of the lower limbs , mainly in posterior group and gluteus muscles [ figures 3 , 4 and supplement table 1 ] .
using fat infiltration scoring , we found that the degree of fat infiltration in posterior group was significantly more severe than those in anterior and medial thigh muscle groups ( p < 0.001 ) .
similarly , muscular atrophy was more prominent in posterior group than other parts of thigh muscle groups .
in addition to posterior group , fat infiltration and muscular atrophy were also identified in gluteus among most of the late - onset madd patients . on the contrary , few patients had the quadriceps femoris muscle involvement . combing with the significant reduction of muscle strength in gluteus maximus , gluteus medius , and posterior group
, it could be speculated that the degree of fat infiltration was consistent with the muscle strength .
this pattern of muscle involvement may also provide indirect information about the disease process of late - onset madd .
we assume that the most frequently affected muscles , posterior group and gluteus , are affected earlier in the clinical course .
in addition , muscle edema pattern , which is the most common characteristic performance of acute or recent muscle insult , was found in none of our patients .
the mri finding reflects a biologically chronic process in pathogenesis of this metabolic disorder and may be useful for differential diagnosis with other disease .
the mri features of thigh and gluteus muscles existed in patients with both homozygous mutations and compound heterozygous mutations .
the highly various clinical symptoms of patients with late - onset madd easily lead to difficulty for diagnosis and confusion with other diseases , such as polymyositis , bmd , lgmd , and cmd .
even though genetic detection and muscle biopsy are necessary , they are invasive and unavailable in many hospitals . as a noninvasive and universal technique , muscle mri can evaluate heterogeneous muscle involvement and has been utilized in many neuromuscular disorders for differential diagnosis .
although some neuromuscular disorders have similar mri appearances , others have distinct patterns of signal intensity abnormality .
the mri characteristics of late - onset madd summarized in our study provide valuable information for helping diagnosis .
however , patients with polymyositis present with widespread symmetrical muscle inflammation and prominent edema is the most prominent mri finding , which is not found in late - onset madd . in patients with dmd / bmd ,
progressive muscle hypertrophy and adductor magnus fat infiltrated are the best characterized signs of muscle mri , unlike the obvious involvement of posterior group and gluteus in late - onset madd .
the muscle mri of lgmd patients varies from different subtypes with the heterologous gene mutations .
a part of lgmd patients show that posterior compartment muscles in lower limbs affected while the fat infiltration is not as severe as that in late - onset madd .
the lower limbs muscle mri of cmd shows diffuse fatty degeneration , especially in gluteus maximus muscle . in this
regard , muscle mri features , when correlated with clinical and laboratory findings , may facilitate a correct diagnosis to molecular screening of late - onset madd . in conclusion , late - onset madd patients harboring etfdh gene mutations presented an overall homogeneous pattern of muscle pathology on muscle mri appearances , which are among the conditions associated with typical fat infiltration and atrophy .
the majority of patients showed a consistent pattern on muscular imaging , with mild to severe involvement of the muscles of medial and posterior thigh compartment , as well as gluteus , and a sparing involvement of the anterior thigh compartment relatively .
supplementary information is linked to the online version of the paper on the chinese medical journal website .
this work was supported by grants from the national natural science foundation of china ( no .
81271254 and u1505222 ) , the national key clinical specialty discipline construction program , and fujian key clinical specialty discipline construction program .
this work was supported by grants from the national natural science foundation of china ( no .
81271254 and u1505222 ) , the national key clinical specialty discipline construction program , and fujian key clinical specialty discipline construction program . | pubmed |
molecular hydrogen has been recognized for a long time to be potentially the most important ( baryonic ) element in the universe ( zwicky 1959 ) , or at least in the galaxy ( gould , gold & salpeter 1963 ) ( see also the review by field et al . 1966 and references therein ) . since the late sixties the availability of millimetric radio - telescopes allowed to find substantial amounts of molecular hydrogen in locations where it can be traced by the co molecule , the molecular clouds . roughly , the indirect detection of molecular hydrogen by the co doubled the known gas content of spirals . however , in metal poor regions where co can hardly trace h@xmath0 , the question is still open .
most of the mass in the outer , metal poor parts of a galaxy could be very cold h@xmath0 , and remains invisible even today . the present trend to increase the conversion factor @xmath3 between the co intensity and the h@xmath0 mass at decreasing metallicity goes in this direction ( e.g. sakamoto 1996 ) . the difficulty to detect the molecule h@xmath0 comes from its symmetry , cancelling any electric dipole moment in the ground state .
this prevents the detection of any radio line in emission , the only ones to be excited from the ground state in the cold interstellar medium ( @xmath4 ) .
the first h@xmath0 lines to be detected in emission occur only by quadrupole radiation : they are the pure rotation ones , the first being the @xmath5 at @xmath6 wavelength , already at @xmath7 above the fundamental state , the @xmath8 at @xmath9 and @xmath10 at @xmath11 ( beck et al . 1979 ,
parmar et al . 1994 ) , and @xmath5 ) , and @xmath12 ( @xmath13 , @xmath8 ) , corresponding to an excitation energy of @xmath14 .
these lines trace hot h@xmath0 gas , for example excited in supersonic shocks , which corresponds to an insignificant fraction of the h@xmath0 mass ( e.g. shull & beckwith 1982 ) .
many recent results obtained with the iso satellite , with the sws instrument sensitive between 2 and 45@xmath15 , have revealed the detection of more than a dozen of these ro - vibrational h@xmath0 lines ( timmermann et al .
these lines are emitted by very dense and warm gas ( @xmath16 ) in shocks , or even hot gas ( @xmath17 ) , that is likely excited non - collisionally through uv pumping ( wright et al .
1996 ) . in the violent starburst arp@xmath18 ,
the h@xmath0 emitting warm gas could represent up to 10% of the ism mass ( sturm et al .
1996 ) .
the only direct information on colder h@xmath0 gas has been gained through far uv absorption in front of stars in the solar neighbourhood by the copernicus satellite ( e.g. spitzer & jenkins 1975 ) .
unfortunately , only very diffuse clouds could be traced , since high h@xmath0 column densities are associated with large extinctions .
the density ( lower than @xmath19 ) , the molecular fraction ( 0.25 ) and temperature ( @xmath20 ) are typical of diffuse intercloud material .
the dense and much colder molecular cloud bulk component remains to be explored .
in a recent model , we propose that the dark matter detected around spiral galaxies through flat rotation curves , is composed for a substantial part of cold molecular gas , in near isothermal equilibrium with the cosmic background temperature at @xmath21 ( pfenniger et al .
this gas forms a hierarchical structure , possibly a fractal of dimension @xmath22 , spread over more than six orders of magnitude in scale ( @xmath23 down to @xmath24 ) . at the smaller scale ,
the tiniest fragments or `` clumpuscules '' are evolving in the adiabatic regime ( pfenniger & combes 1994 ) .
they have an average density of @xmath25 , a column density of @xmath26 , and a jupiter mass ( @xmath27 ) . their surface filling factor is less than 1% ( simply estimated by the ratio of the average galactic and clumpuscule column densities ) . due to the intrinsic inhomogeneity of the fractal structure , the collision time - scale of the clumpuscules and larger clumps is shorter than their collapse time .
so the envisaged equilibrium is dynamical , constantly renewed collisions in a slight supersonic regime prevent statistically most of the otherwise expected collapses that would lead to jupiter or star formation .
note that the collision speed at the bottom of the hierarchy is of the order of @xmath28 , so `` shocks '' do not imply necessarily strong heating in such conditions .
the frequent collisions mean also that the average temperature and density of the clumpuscules are associated with large fluctuations , the warmer tail of the distribution being just the observed hi .
indeed collisions not only tend to heat by mechanical compression , they also simultaneously _ cool _ by gravitational coupling , an often overlooked effect due to the negative specific heat of gravitating systems . of course in such a model a 100% inefficiency of jupiter or star formation can not be excluded .
however we expect that for the same yet poorly understood reasons that prevent normal molecular clouds to form stars efficiently ( as a naive expectation about collapsing gas would lead to believe ) , similar mechanisms must exist in low excitation regions such as outer galactic disks and malin 1 type galaxies preventing the the fast cooling hi to collapse immediately .
this model explains naturally the evolution of galaxies along the hubble sequence . through gas accretion ,
the dark matter in the outer parts of late - type galaxies is progressively transformed into stars while galaxies evolve towards earlier types .
it also explains the near constant surface density ratio between the hi gas and dark matter in the outer parts of spirals ( bosma 1981 ) . during galaxy interactions ,
some of the cold gas of the outer parts is progressively heated , and accounts for the huge amounts of hot gas detected through x - ray emission in rich galaxy clusters . with similar argumentation variant models
have also been recently proposed , in which h@xmath0 gas contributes significantly to the dark matter , based mainly in massive proto globular cluster clouds possibly mixed with brown dwarfs ( de paolis et al .
1995 , gerhard & silk 1996 ) . in this case , the cold h@xmath0 gas is not _ very _ cold , but has a temperature between 5 and @xmath29 , which makes it easier to detect in emission .
however , in the mixed model it is hard to see how any substantial fractions of cold gas and brown dwarfs can coexist without virializing rapidly the gas temperature to much higher values than @xmath30 , via dynamical friction and cluster core collapses .
if most of the mass of the galaxy is under the form of molecular gas , are there more or less direct ways to detect it ? in this article , we review several , some novel , possibilities , and try to select the most promising ones . to our knowledge
a similar earlier attempt was made only in the 60 s ( gould & harwit 1963 ) , so the tremendous changes made in between justify a new article on the subject .
we first describe the ultrafine structure of the ortho - h@xmath0 in its ground state , due to the interaction between the nuclear spin ( @xmath31 ) and the magnetic moment induced by the nuclear rotation ( @xmath32 ) , which splits the fundamental in three sublevels ( @xmath33 , 1 and 2 ) .
then we consider trace molecules , formed in the big - bang nucleosynthesis , hd , lih , which could be seen in emission due to their electric dipole rotational transitions , or ions such as h@xmath34 that could be detected through its hyperfine structure .
also , traces of metal enrichment of this quasi - primordial gas could help to detect it through co emission or absorption .
since very cold gas is more likely to be detected in absorption , we evaluate the probability to detect uv absorption lines of h@xmath0 in front of remote quasars .
finally , we discuss the submillimeter continuum emission of very cold dust .
the possibility to trace cold gas through their interaction with cosmic rays and production of gamma rays will be discussed in a subsequent paper in which the highly inhomogeneous gas distribution of the ism will be taken into account .
the hydrogen molecule can be found in two species , the para - h@xmath0 , in which the nuclear spins of the two protons are anti - aligned , and the resulting spin @xmath35 .
then , the spin wave function is anti - symmetric , and the nuclear wave function must be symmetric . since the two electrons are paired in the molecule , their total spin and angular momentum is zero .
the angular momentum of the molecule is then only due to the rotation . in the fundamental state @xmath36 ,
for which there is a symmetric wave - function . for the ortho - h@xmath0 , on the contrary , the total nuclear spin is @xmath31 , since the spins of the two protons are parallel .
the spin wave function being symmetrical , the nuclear radial wave function must be antisymmetric , by pauli exclusion principle . then , the fundamental state of ortho - h@xmath0 is @xmath32 .
the rotation of the molecule creates a rotational magnetic moment parallel and proportional to the angular momentum @xmath37 , since charged particles ( the protons ) are in rotation .
this rotational moment interacts with the nuclear spin @xmath38 , through an interaction of the form @xmath39 . in other words , this comes from the interaction of @xmath40 , the nuclear spin magnetic dipole , with the magnetic field created from the motion of charges due to rotation . to this interaction
, must be added the spin - spin magnetic interaction for the two nuclei , and the interaction of any nuclear electrical quadrupole moment with the variation of the molecular electric field in the vicinity of the nucleus ( kellog et al .
1939 , 1940 ; ramsey 1952 ) . in negligible external magnetic field ,
the h@xmath0 states can be expressed by the reference basis of @xmath41 , @xmath42 , with @xmath43 .
magnetic dipole transitions are possible for @xmath44 , i.e. , there are two transitions , @xmath45 , and @xmath46
. measurements of these frequencies in the laboratory have been carried out through magnetic resonance on molecular beams ( kolsky et al .
1952 ; harrick & ramsey 1953 ) . the wavelength of these two transitions have been measured at 0.5 and @xmath1 , or more precisely at frequencies of @xmath47 and @xmath48 respectively for @xmath46 and @xmath45 .
the reason of such a low energy split of the hyperfine structure is due to the only interaction between nuclear momenta .
when the fine structure is due to interaction between electronic momenta , the usual hyperfine structure corresponds to interaction between electronic and nuclear momenta .
the fine structure splitting is then proportional to the bohr magneton @xmath49 squared , where @xmath50 is the electron mass .
the hyperfine structure involves the product of @xmath51 with the nuclear magneton @xmath52 , where @xmath53 is the proton mass .
when the interaction involves two nuclear momenta , the splitting is proportional to @xmath54 , i.e. smaller than the hyperfine structure by roughly a factor @xmath55 .
this could be called ultrafine structure ( cf .
field et al .
1966 ) .
only the ortho - h@xmath0 is concerned by the ultrafine structure .
normal molecular hydrogen gas contains a mixture of the two varieties , with an ortho - to - para ratio of 3 when the temperature is high with respect to the energy difference of the two fundamental states ( @xmath56 ) .
for instance , in the warm h@xmath0 gas detected by iso - sws , an ortho - to - para ratio of 3 is compatible with observations ( wright et al .
1996 ) . at lower temperatures ,
the ortho - to - para ratio must be lower , if the thermodynamical equilibrium can be reached , until all the hydrogen is in para state at @xmath57 .
however , due to the rarefied density of the ism , the ortho - to - para ratio is frozen to the h@xmath0-formation value ( schaefer , private communication ) .
considerable densities are required for the ortho - to - para conversion , which occurs in solid h@xmath0 for instance .
but the fractal gas must be seen as a dynamical structure far out of thermodynamical equilibrium , not only with large density contrasts , but also large temperature contrasts , extending to low temperature the well know inhomogeneous properties of the ism where it can be well observed , i.e. above about @xmath58 .
the hi is then the warm interface , and h@xmath0 the coldest component , in a mass ratio of about 1 to 10 . by continuity , h@xmath0 forms from hi and vice versa with a rate given by the clump collision time - scale at the scale corresponding to the virial temperature of the transition
this is in any case relatively short : at a scale corresponding to a temperature of @xmath59 , and a fractal dimension @xmath60 , we estimate a duty - cycle time of transformation hi to h@xmath0 of the order of @xmath61 , the cold and warmer phases must be chemically well mixed .
this is an important difference with the alternative cold gas models of de paolis et al . and
gerhard & silk , were gas clumps , modeled as classical gas blobs , require stability over a substantial fraction of a hubble time .
now the key role in ortho to para conversion in interstellar clouds is the proton exchange reaction ( @xmath62 , cf .
dalgarno et al .
1973 ; gerlich 1990 ) .
this reaction can transform the ortho in a time - scale @xmath63 , if the h@xmath64 ions in dense clouds are essentially due to cosmic ray impacts , with the ionizing flux @xmath65 characteristic of the solar neighbourhood . the corresponding time - scale for a clumpuscule near
the sun is @xmath66 , and the ortho fraction is negligible , but at large distances in the galaxy outskirts , where the cosmic - ray flux is expected to fall exponentially to zero , we can expect a significant part of ortho - h@xmath0 in the cold gas .
on the earth , the ionosphere is reflecting the long wavelength radiations , and this phenomenon is used for radio transmission all over the world ( communications with submarines , for example , can be made through km wavelengths signals ) .
the ionospheric plasma is filtering all frequencies below the plasma frequency @xmath67 .
it is therefore necessary to observe from space .
even from space , the long wavelength radiations are somewhat hindered by interplanetary or interstellar scintillations ( e.g. cordes et al .
this means , as shown below , that spatial resolution above @xmath68 could not be obtained below @xmath69 .
the plasma frequency in the interstellar medium can be estimated by @xmath70 , where @xmath71 is the electron density in @xmath72 . since the latter is in average of the order of @xmath73 , the plasma frequency @xmath74 .
radiation of frequencies below that value does not propagate in the medium .
more precisely , since the ism is far from homogeneous , low - frequency radiation propagates in rarefied regions , and is reflected and absorbed by denser condensations . for the kilometric wavelengths that we are interested in , there is no problem of propagation , but the waves are scattered due to fluctuations in electron density .
the electric vector undergoes phase fluctuations , since the index of refraction is @xmath75 , where @xmath76 is the radiation frequency .
if the ism is modeled by a gaussian spatial distribution of turbulent clumps of size @xmath77 , the scattering angle can be expressed by : @xmath78 where @xmath79 is the total path crossed by the radiation , and @xmath76 is the frequency in hz ( e.g. lang 1980 ) . at a typical distance of @xmath80 , and for the frequencies considered ( @xmath81 ) ,
the scattering angle is of the order of one degree .
the scintillation problem is therefore severe , and hinders spatial resolution for point sources , but it is still possible to map the galactic disk .
the interplanetary medium produces somewhat less scattering , and the total order of magnitude remains unchanged .
the radiation has a dipole matrix element proportional to @xmath82 ; the line intensity is therefore much weaker than for usual hyperfine transitions ( magnetic dipole in @xmath83 ) . since the spontaneous emission coefficient @xmath84 is proportional to @xmath85 , the life - time of a hydrogen molecule in the upper ultrafine states is much larger than a hubble time : @xmath86 .
it is then likely that the desexcitation is mostly collisional . even at the @xmath21 temperature ,
the upper levels are populated in the statistical weights ratio
. a weak radiation is therefore expected , but the velocity - integrated emission ( @xmath87 ) is ten orders of magnitude less than for the hi line , for the same column density of hydrogen .
the prospects to detect the lines are scarce in the near future , since it would need an instrument of about 6 orders of magnitude increase in surface with respect to nowadays ground - base telescopes ! a solution could be to dispose a grid of cables or array of dipoles spaced by @xmath88 on a significant surface of the moon , e.g. an area of @xmath89 .
this requirement could be released , however , if there exists strong coherent continuum sources at km wavelengths .
the h@xmath0 ultrafine line could then be detected much more easily in absorption , with presently planned km instruments .
several groups have studied the possibility to observe the sky in the very low frequency domain ( @xmath90 ) ; the most important projects being the nasa low frequency space array ( lfsa ) ( weiler et al . 1988 , 1994 ) , and esa very low frequency array ( vlfa , esa report , sci96 - 002 ) .
these are space projects , since the earth ionosphere is opaque below @xmath91 .
the present projects now consider the possibility either of satellites orbiting the moon , or an array of dipoles on the moon itself , to avoid the strong radio interferences coming from the earth . on the moon
, the hidden far - side surface is favoured , to be completely free of the earth radio emissions .
however , the lunar ionosphere might add some problems , especially on the lunar day , so the observations would confined to the 14 days lunar night . the limit at low frequency ( @xmath92 ) is fixed by interstellar free - free absorption : the optical depth depends on the emission measure of the medium ( @xmath93 ) and its electron temperature ( @xmath94 ) .
typically , the depth @xmath95 that we can see through the medium below @xmath96 is a function of frequency @xmath76 in mhz : @xmath97 . at the lower frequency @xmath92
, the observations will just cross the galactic plane , and be able to see extragalactic sources .
one can not rely on the clumpy structure of the medium to see through it ( as for dust in the optical domain ) , since the scattering effects of the turbulent plasma broaden any emission to an angle @xmath98 , i.e. @xmath99 at @xmath92 .
the sensitivity of such arrays depends only on their total surface and filling factor @xmath100 , but not on the receivers quality , since the system temperature is dominated by the sky noise itself ( galactic background radiation , essentially of synchrotron origin ) , which is about @xmath101 at @xmath92 .
arrays of short dipoles ( @xmath102 ) on the moon covering @xmath103 diameter surface are considered , with a filling factor of @xmath104 .
the signal to noise ratio reached in an integration time @xmath105 in a frequency band @xmath106 is then @xmath107 , and can reach @xmath108 in @xmath109 . in other words
, we could detect signals at a few percent of the galactic background within a lunar night . in front of such an intense galactic background
, the h@xmath0 molecules are absorbing at their line frequency of @xmath92 .
however the optical thickness could be at most @xmath110 in condensed regions , and smoothed to an average of @xmath111 in regions subtended by the effective resolution of @xmath99 .
observations of an absorbing signal will only be possible towards very strong continuum sources such as cas - a , and in any case will be quite difficult .
hd has a weak electric dipole moment , since the proton in the molecule is more mobile than the deuteron ; the electron then does not follow exactly the motion of the positive charge , producing a dipole .
this moment has been measured in the ground vibrational state from the intensity of the pure rotational spectrum by trefler & gush ( 1968 ) : its value is @xmath112 .
the first rotational level is at @xmath113 above the ground level , the corresponding wavelength is @xmath114 .
this line could be only observed in emission from heated regions , and given the very low abundance ratio hd / h@xmath115 10@xmath116 and weak dipole , does not appear as a good tracer of the cold gas .
the lih molecule has a much larger dipole moment , @xmath117 debye ( lawrence et al . 1963 ) , and the first rotational level is only at @xmath118 above the ground level , the corresponding wavelength is @xmath119 ( pearson & gordy 1969 ; rothstein 1969 ) .
the line frequencies in the submillimeter and far - infrared domain have been recently determined with high precision in the laboratory ( plummer et al .
1984 , bellini et al . 1994 ) , and the great astrophysical interest of the lih molecule has been emphasized ( e.g. puy et al .
a tentative has even been carried out to detect lih at very high redshifts ( de bernardis et al .
this line is unfortunately not accessible from the ground at @xmath120 due to h@xmath0o atmospheric absorption .
this has to wait the launching of a submillimeter satellite , but is a good candidate .
the abundance of lih has been recently estimated to a very low value ( @xmath121 ) in the post - recombination epoch ( stancil et al .
the rate coefficient for lih formation through radiative association is now estimated 3 orders of magnitude smaller than previously ( lepp & schull 1984 ) . in very dense clouds , however , three - body associations reactions have to be taken into account , and most of the lithium turns into molecules ; an order of magnitude for lih abundance is then lih / h@xmath122 , and the optical depth should reach 1 for a column density of @xmath123 , or n(h@xmath124 , in channels of @xmath125
. the line should then be easily detectable in normal molecular clouds , within the optical disk of the galaxy ; the more so as the primordial abundance of li could be increased by about a factor 10 in stellar nucleosynthesis ( e.g. reeves 1994 ) . in the outer galaxy parts of course ,
the same problems of excitation arise for a very cold gas , and the surface filling factor might be a problem for absorption measurements .
the abundance of the h@xmath34 ion is predicted to be no more than @xmath126 to @xmath127 in chemical models ( e.g. viala 1986 ) .
but the h@xmath34 ion possesses an hyperfine structure in its ground state , unfortunately in the first rotational level @xmath128 .
the electron spin is 1/2 , and the nuclear spin @xmath31 , which couple in @xmath129 and @xmath130 ; then @xmath131 , @xmath130 and @xmath132 .
five transitions are therefore expected , of which the strongest is @xmath41 , @xmath133 , @xmath134 , @xmath135 , at @xmath136 ( sommerville 1965 ; field et al .
1966 ) . at the interface between the cold molecular gas and the interstellar / intergalactic radiation field ,
one can hope to encounter a sufficient column density of h@xmath34 .
the excitation to the @xmath137 level is problematic however .
the usual tracer of molecular hydrogen in the ism is the co molecule , but is valid only for enriched gas , and fails at large distances from galaxy centers .
the abundance [ o / h ] decreases exponentially with radius in spiral galaxies , with a gradient between @xmath138 and @xmath139 ( e.g. pagel & edmunds 1981 ) , and the n(h@xmath0)/i(co ) conversion ratio is consequently increasing exponentially with radius ( sakamoto 1996 ) .
there could be even more dramatic effects such as a sharp threshold in extinction ( at 0.25 mag ) before co is detectable ( blitz et al .
1990 ) , due to photo - dissociation .
the effect of metallicity on the conversion ratio has long been debated ( e.g. elmegreen 1989 ) , but strong evidence exists in the magellanic clouds ( rubio et al .
1993 ) , and in nearby dwarf galaxies ( israel , tacconi & baas 1995 ; verter & hodge 1995 ; wilson 1995 ) . the fact that the co line is optically thick does not make it insensitive to metallicity , since the observed size of molecular clouds is related to the @xmath140 surface , and clouds appear much smaller at low metallicity . this fact is often ignored in theoretical models , where clouds or clumps are assumed to have a constant column density with radius ( e.g. wolfire et al .
1993 ) .
it is easy to estimate until which radius the dense clouds are likely to contain co molecules , if we estimate that the opacity gradient follows the metallicity gradient . assuming the proportionality relation n(h)@xmath141 between the gas column density and opacity in the solar neighbourhood ( savage et al . 1977 ) , and a column density of @xmath142 for the densest fragments
, their opacity a@xmath143 falls to 0.25 at @xmath144 , but of course the co disappears on large scales before .
another effect hinders the detection of molecular tracers in emission , far from star - formation regions , which is the lack of heating sources .
it is impossible to detect emission from a cloud at a temperature close to the background temperature .
only absorption is possible , although difficult for a surface filling factor of less than 1% .
absorption is biased towards diffuse clouds , or intercloud medium , which has a large filling factor , and a low density ( and therefore a low excitation temperature ) .
this is beautifully demonstrated in the molecular absorption survey of lucas & liszt ( 1994 , 1996 ) in our galaxy : practically all of the absorbing clouds are diffuse ( a@xmath145 ) with a low excitation temperature .
when the gas becomes metal deficient , the diffuse medium is preferentially depleted in molecules , through uv photo - dissociation .
it might still be possible in special environments such as galaxy clusters , to try to detect the cold gas , polluted by the enriched intra - cluster medium .
the problem is to estimate the actual enrichment , based on the gas mixing .
the medium is expected to be multi - phase from theoretical calculations ( e.g. ferland et al .
1994 ) , and direct euve observations of the @xmath146 gas in the virgo cluster ( lieu et al .
1996 ) support a substantial cooling of the x - ray gas toward cold phases . in the outer parts of the cluster ,
before galaxy interactions have heated the cold gas around individual galaxies , the latter is still cold and metal deficient .
progressively the cold gas is heated and transfered in the hot x - ray emitting phase , where it is metal enriched , at least to the intra - cluster abundance of @xmath147 . in the cluster center , where the density of hot gas is high enough ,
the hot phase becomes unstable to cooling , and generates the cooling flow . since there is no reason why the ubiquitous hierarchical fragmentation observed in the galaxy is not universal
, we must expect that in galaxy cluster gas fragmentation occurs too down to low temperature , small sizes and high densities , i.e. to molecular clumpuscules ( pfenniger & combes 1994 ) .
this accounts for the apparent complete disappearance of gas in cooling flows , and may explain the high concentration of dark matter in clusters deduced from x - ray data and gravitational arcs ( durret et al . 1994 ; wu & hammer 1993 ) .
many authors have tried to detect this gas in emission or absorption , either in hi ( burns et al . 1981 ; valentijn & giovanelli 1982 ; shostak et al .
1983 ; mcnamara et al .
1990 ; dwarakanath et al .
1995 ) or in the co molecule ( grabelsky & ulmer 1990 ; mc namara & jaffe 1994 ; antonucci & barvainis 1994 ; braine & dupraz 1994 ; odea et al .
maybe the best evidence of the presence of the cooling gas is the extended soft x - ray absorption ( white et al .
although the hi is not detected in emission with upper limits of the order of @xmath148 , it is sometimes detected in absorption , when there is a strong continuum source in the central galaxy .
the corresponding column densities are @xmath149 .
there is also some co emission in perseus a ( lazareff et al .
1989 ) , but which may come from the galaxy itself and not the cooling flow . to produce the x - ray absorption observed , the gas must have a high surface filling factor ( @xmath150 ) , and a column density of the order of n@xmath151 ( white et al .
the total mass derived is of the order of @xmath152 over a @xmath153 region .
this gas can only correspond to the atomic gas envelope of the denser , low filling factor , molecular clouds .
if the molecular clouds are cold ( @xmath154 ) and condensed ( filling factor @xmath155 ) , it is extremely difficult to detect them , either in emission or in absorption , even at solar metallicity .
the best upper limits reported in the literature ( @xmath156 , average over regions @xmath157 in size , but assuming @xmath158 and solar metallicity , i.e. the standard @xmath159(co ) conversion ratio , are perfectly compatible with the existence of a huge cold h@xmath0 mass ( the conversion factor tends to infinity when the temperature tends to the background temperature ) .
the hi gas , on the contrary , could give much significant constraints , since it is a warm gas with high filling factor . the column density detected in absorption
are all compatible to what is expected from the cooling flows .
the hi gas is observed redshifted , falling on the central galaxy .
why is there no emission ?
it could be that the absorbing gas is too cold , and/or part of the gas absorbing x - rays is ionized ( as observed h@xmath160 filaments suggest ) . that the molecular gas can cool down to @xmath161 within the intra - cluster environment has been demonstrated by ferland et al .
( 1994 ) , but debated ( e.g. odea et al .
odea et al .
( 1994 ) evaluate the x - ray heating rate of molecular clouds , assuming that the attenuating column density can be no more than @xmath162 ( @xmath163 to 2 ) measured by white et al .
but this assumes that the absorbing medium is homogeneous . on the contrary , if a hierarchical structure of dense molecular clouds is embedded within this hi envelope , the attenuating column density can be 3 or 4 orders of magnitude ( @xmath164 ) locally ( @xmath165 ) ; the molecular fragments can be completely screened from the x - ray flux .
the presence of the x - ray flux introduces a warm ionized interface between the very cold molecular gas and the hot medium .
that might be this phase that is seen in soft x - ray absorption by white et al .
the hi absorption measurements reveal that only a small part of this interface is neutral .
recently , lieu et al ( 1996 ) and bowyer et al ( 1966 ) have detected large quantities of gas at intermediate temperature of @xmath146 in the virgo and coma clusters with the euve satellite ( extreme ultraviolet explorer ) .
since this gas is cooling very rapidly , being near the peak of the radiative cooling curve , it should be very transient .
although its extension coincides with that of the cooling flow , the mass flow involved would be 30 times that of the cooling flow itself .
its detection is therefore not only evidence for a continuous flow of gas cooling from the high virial temperature of the clusters ( 10@xmath166 k ) , but also of possible other heating mechanisms like shocks .
also the detection of the near - infrared quadrupolar emission line h@xmath0(1 - 0)s(1 ) in central cluster galaxies with cooling flows ( and their non - detection in similar control galaxies without cooling flows ) strongly confirms the gas flow as it passes through the temperature of 2000k ( jaffe & bremer 1997 ) .
absorption should be the best way to trace the cold gas .
if the effective gas temperature is indeed close to the background @xmath167 , emission is extremely weak .
the antenna temperature is , in the rayleigh - jeans approximation : @xmath168 where @xmath169 is the gas excitation temperature and @xmath170 the optical thickness in the transition considered . on the contrary ,
absorption is biased towards cold gas , since the observed signal is proportional to @xmath171 , where @xmath172 is the column density in the ground state .
absorption in the vibration - rotation part of the spectrum ( in infrared ) is not the best method , since the transitions are quadrupolar and very weak .
an h@xmath0 absorption in orion has been detected only recently ( lacy et al .
1994 ) and the apparent optical depth is only about 1% .
this needs exceptionally strong continuum sources , which are rare .
electronic lines in the uv should be more easy to see in absorption . however , recognizing molecular hydrogen absorption in uv spectra of quasars is not easy due to the dense ly@xmath160 forest .
many tentatives have remained inconclusive . a careful cross - correlation analysis of the spectrum is needed in order to extract the h@xmath0 lines from the confusion .
already levshakov & varshalovich ( 1985 ) had made a tentative detection , towards pks@xmath173 , with some 13 coincident lines among the lyman and werner h@xmath0 bands .
but molecular hydrogen has been firmly found in absorption in front of the quasars pks@xmath173 ( foltz et al .
1988 ) and qso@xmath174 ( ge & bechtold 1997 ) .
these objects are at redshifts @xmath175 and @xmath176 respectively and are viewed through damped ly@xmath160 systems ; the inferred h@xmath0 column densities are @xmath177 and @xmath178 , with estimated widths of 5 and @xmath179 and kinetic temperatures of 100 and @xmath180 .
these conditions , together with the molecular fraction derived @xmath181 and @xmath182 , indicate a diffuse medium . it should be remarked that only the very low column densities of h@xmath0 can be detected this way , since for moderate to high molecular column densities
, the line damping is so high that the quasar is no longer visible , as is developed in next paragraph .
this happens in only rare cases , since the filling factor of high h@xmath0 surface density gas is lower than @xmath183 .
unfortunately , it is not presently possible to observe h@xmath0 absorptions at @xmath120 from our own galaxy in front of quasars , since the hst has no instrument at the right frequency ( wavelengths smaller or equal to @xmath184 ) .
the probability to have an intervening high molecular column density is of course very small at non - zero redshift .
moreover , for redshift high enough , the size of a dense clump is not large enough to cover the quasar uv continuum , and the depth of the absorption is not larger than @xmath183 . the possibility to detect h@xmath0 absorption from our own galaxy has to await future uv satellites , such as the lyman - fuse ( far - ultraviolet spectrographic explorer ) mission . for a high column density of h@xmath0 , such as @xmath142
as should be the case at the center of a clumpuscule , the absorption lines in the uv range is extremely saturated . in these circumstances ,
the actual width of the lines exceeds considerably the doppler width , to be entirely dominated by the natural width .
radiation damping determines the profile . while the doppler width should be of the order of @xmath185 , the equivalent width must be computed from the `` square - root '' region of the curve of growth .
the expected equivalent width @xmath186 normalised to the wavelength @xmath187 can be crudely estimated to be @xmath188 .
this means that all h@xmath0 lines in the lyman and werner bands are overlapping , and all the uv and optical light are absorbed . a special computation of the line profile
should then been done , since the simple lorentzian profile is no - longer valid far away from the resonance line ( when @xmath189 ) .
we have derived the total cross section of the interaction photon - molecule , including absorption and scattering .
it can be shown ( see appendix ) that this total cross - section , from the fundamental state , and in the vicinity of electronic dipolar transitions , can be written as : @xmath190 where the resonances occur for @xmath191 ( with corresponding dipole matrix element @xmath192 ) , and @xmath193 is the natural width of the @xmath194-level . at low frequencies , the classical rayleigh scattering formula in @xmath195
is retrieved .
-7 mm -3truecm this cross section has been taken into account to compute the expected profile in front of a clumpuscule ( fig .
[ damping ] ) . at high frequency , the asymptotic limit of the total cross - section is the thomson cross - section @xmath196 .
the high frequency wing of the h@xmath0 lines is then always optically thick .
the clumpuscule is absorbing all light with wavelength smaller than the optical band . within this band ,
the h@xmath0 clumpuscules play then the role of dusty globules , removing the whole continuum of the region ( even the he lines could not be seen ) .
since their surface coverage is not large , however , they do not completely obscure the quasar source , depending on its size , but only a few percents of it
. the type of absorption depends strongly on the relative distances .
if the absorbing clouds belong to an intervening galaxy at high redshift ( @xmath197 ) , the angular size of the obscuring clumpuscules is less than a micro - second , and the effect on the remote quasar would remain un - noticed .
if the absorption comes from our own galaxy , the angular size can be a fraction of an arcsecond , and the optical qso could be entirely covered and obscured . through proper motions of the absorbing globules , at about @xmath198 , this absorption can appear or disappear on scales of one year .
the most abundant primordial element after hydrogen is helium , which remains atomic in dense molecular clouds . we have not considered it as a good tracer candidate :
only the uv lines could be detected in absorption , the first one being at @xmath199 .
the intensities of the lines are similar to that of molecular hydrogen , the problems of line damping and of filling factors are comparable .
the direct h@xmath0 lines are therefore a better candidate .
when the latter are damped , the he lines are also obscured . only in the case of complete condensation of the h@xmath0 molecules into ice ,
does the he lines become useful .
helium is then the most abundant gas , its pressure supporting the clumpuscule against a free - fall gravitational collapse .
the far - infrared and submillimeter continuum spectrum from @xmath200 to @xmath201 has been derived from cobe / firas observations by wright et al .
( 1991 ) and reach et al .
they show that in addition to the predominant warm dust emission , fitted by a temperature ranging from @xmath202 to @xmath203 , according to longitude , there is evidence for a very cold component , with temperatures between @xmath204 and @xmath205 , ubiquitous in the galaxy , and somewhat spatially correlated with the warm component .
the opacity of the cold component , if interpreted by the same dust emissivity model ( varying with frequency as @xmath206 , is about 7 times that of the warm component .
most of the gas mass would then be contained in this component , which is , relatively to the warm component , stronger at high latitude and away from the galactic center .
this is clearly seen in the longitude dependence of the cold / warm power ratio , which shows a characteristic minimum towards zero longitude ( reach et al .
1995 ) .
schaefer ( 1996 ) proposes that the cold dust component detected by cobe / firas might be due in fact to molecular hydrogen emission , as collision - induced dipole transitions : in small very high density fluctuations ( at a fraction of `` amagat '' , i.e. a density of @xmath207 ) , the h@xmath0 gas can emit a continuum radiation , corresponding to free - bound or free - free transitions of weakly and temporarily bound h@xmath0 molecules , the dimers , and containing a large fraction of ortho - h@xmath0 . by symmetry the para - para complexes
do not produce such a radiation .
a good fit is found for the cobe spectra if the dense h@xmath0 clouds follow the hi distribution in the outer parts of the galaxy .
at least this shows that a cold component ( `` dust '' ) is indeed associated to the warmer hi .
this weak - dipole radiation due to h@xmath0 collisional complexes is an interesting possibility to detect the presence of cold molecular hydrogen .
this kind of radiation has been identified in planetary atmospheres during the voyager iris mission ( hanel et al .
1979 ) . only exceptionally dense regions could explain the signal detected by cobe , since the emission is proportional to the square of the density ( schaefer 1994 ) .
the required density then imposes the temperature ( @xmath208 ) , to avoid the transition to solid molecular hydrogen .
already we had remarked that at the present cosmic background temperature of @xmath209 , the average pressure in the h@xmath0 clumpuscules was about 100 times the pressure of saturated vapour , and that probably a small fraction of the molecular mass might be in solid form ( pfenniger & combes 1994 , and several references therein about previous papers discussing the possibility of hiding molecular hydrogen in solid form ) .
snow flakes of h@xmath0 can improve the coupling with the cbr , but the large latent heat of @xmath210 per h@xmath0 molecule and the lack of nucleation sites in metal poor gas may prevent a large mass fraction to freeze out .
the condition of dimerization is then largely satisfied in the physical conditions of the clumpuscules ( @xmath211 , @xmath212 ) , and we expect continuum radiation to be emitted and absorbed by the h@xmath0 collisional complexes , through collision - induced dipole moment .
the absorption coefficient peaks in the submillimeter domain ( @xmath213 )
. the optical depth of each clumpuscule is however quite low , @xmath214 .
this radiation is not detectable , but for the densest fluctuations , where the density exceeds @xmath215 .
the total mass required in these fluctuations is already a few @xmath216 for the whole galaxy .
the rather steep dependence on density of the h@xmath0 emission coefficient prevents the obtaining of a less crude model , the more so as the optical depth of the dust components are not yet exactly known .
reach et al .
( 1995 ) have neglected any cosmic infrared background ( cibr ) in their modeling , but it has been claimed by franceschini et al .
( 1994 ) that 5 to 25% of the sky brightness in the submillimeter and far - infrared bands is in fact the cibr coming from the integrated light of galaxies . in their model , early - type galaxies at high redshift are highly obscured , and most of their light coming from the intense star - formation phase is re - radiated in the fir .
the cobe data allows a significant fraction of the sky brightness for the cibr , since there is some freedom in the relative contributions of the galaxy and the isotropic backgrounds . in any case , however , the hypothesis of the existence of a cibr does not solve the cold component problem . reach et al .
( 1995 ) have tried , prior to their analysis , to subtract a cibr component as high as that computed by franceschini et al .
( 1994 ) , but this did not change their conclusions about the existence of the two components , which temperatures were unaffected . the basic problem in deriving the exact amount of the cibr contribution is the subtraction of the foreground emission .
another recent interpretation of the cobe / firas data has been put forward by puget et al .
( 1996 ) and boulanger et al .
their approach consists in modeling the foreground dust emission according to the dwingeloo recent hi survey ( cf .
hartmann 1994 ) .
they use the fact that the relation between the integrated hi emission and the far - infrared emission is almost linear , at least for weak hi emission , corresponding to column densities @xmath217hi@xmath218 .
they consider only the high latitudes : @xmath219 , where the temperature of the dust can be fitted with a constant temperature @xmath220 , with an emissivity varying as @xmath206 . after subtracting this component , with
the proportionality factor found between hi and firas emission they also subtract the infrared emission associated with the ionized gas , equivalent to an average column density of @xmath221 , ( following a cosecant law variation with latitude ) .
this is necessary , since there is a bias in the hi - fir emission relation , i.e. , some far - infrared emission exists at zero hi emission , and this is interpreted as coming from dust associated to ionized gas , not correlated with hi .
the residual has then the spectrum of a very cold dust component , peaking around @xmath222 .
however this treatment neglects completely the molecular contribution , which in our galaxy is of the same order of magnitude in mass as the hi component .
the h@xmath0 component distribution can not be accurately known , since the co molecule is not a good tracer .
it was claimed by puget et al .
( 1996 ) that they avoid molecular hydrogen by selecting only low column density of hi ( @xmath223 ) .
however they have first smoothed out the hi map at the firas resolution of @xmath224 . the molecular component being very clumpy ,
its signature is completely washed out in the process .
a typical high latitude cloud ( hlc ) detected in molecular transitions is in average of 1 deg@xmath225 extent ( magnani et al .
1996 ) , so that its average hi column density of @xmath162 becomes negligible , diluted by a factor 49 .
the average surface density of hlc s has been estimated by magnani et al .
( 1996 ) already below the hi threshold of @xmath226 .
this means that it is impossible to avoid molecular hydrogen at the firas resolution .
-1.5 cm -9 mm -1.2 cm it is quite difficult to subtract local material emission from a possible isotropic component , since the distribution of the local material departs significantly from a plane - parallel geometry .
it has been known from the first hi surveys that the sun lies in a hole of hi deficiency ( e.g. burton 1976 ) .
the total column density of hi observed at the pole is @xmath227 , while it should have been twice higher through extrapolation of the @xmath228 data .
it is well known from many gas tracers that the sun appears not too far from the center of an elongated local bubble mostly filled with hot gas , deficient in neutral gas , and of radius about @xmath229 ( welsh et al .
1994 ) , approximately bounding the local ism ( lism ) ( cox & reynolds 1987 ) .
the high latitude clouds observed in molecular transitions might be at the boundary of this cavity ; their distribution does not show any longitude dependency , while it is also quite deficient at high latitude ( e.g. magnani et al .
the latitude distributions of the hi and iras @xmath200 emission component depart from the expected cosecant law ( e.g. boulanger & perault 1988 , and fig .
[ csb ] ) , which might be attributed to the continuation of the local bubble in a high latitude chimney . note that between @xmath230 to @xmath231 , the region sampled is only the close neighbourhood of the sun , within @xmath232 or @xmath233 , according to the scale height of the medium ( the hi scale height is @xmath234 , and the h@xmath0 @xmath235 ) .
therefore , no longitude dependence is expected for @xmath236 .
if the neutral warm gas can not be considered to follow the plane parallel geometry locally , i.e. there is a deficiency of warm dust associated to the hi gas at high latitude , this deficiency could be compensated by a colder medium , emitting only at the lower firas frequencies .
indeed , the long wavelength ( @xmath237 ) emission from cobe / firas does not suffer from this depletion , and follows better the cosecant law .
the correlation between the hi flux and the cobe / firas emissions at wavelengths between @xmath200 and @xmath238 is in fact non - linear , as found by boulanger et al . (
also there appears to be some fir - submm emission even at zero hi flux , which could be due to other gas components .
it is therefore quite difficult to subtract the emission associated to the hi , since the results depend on the linear fit used , i.e. on the maximum @xmath186(hi ) chosen .
boulanger et al .
( 1996 ) choose a rather low hi column density ( @xmath239 ) , which induces strong selection effects as a function of latitude ; indeed when averaged over longitude , the threshold @xmath240 ( or @xmath241 ) corresponds to @xmath242 .
this range of latitude is not sufficient to reveal a cosecant law , since low column density regions at lower latitudes is not completely sampled ( only the very low column densities are selected at lower latitudes ) .
moreover , the mere subtraction of a linear fir / hi fit , which underestimates the fir at high latitude ( low column density ) and overestimates at low latitude ( high column density ) is able to create an isotropic residual . the residual found by puget et al .
is comparable to the fir flux at zero hi obtained through linear fitting of the fir / hi correlations by boulanger et al .
this residual corresponds to fir emission not associated to hi , and could come from colder gas than the hi ( for example molecular ) .
that would explain why its spectrum is shifted to long wavelengths .
at least part of this residual could come from cold h@xmath0 at high latitudes , that has not been properly sampled by co. -5truemm -6 mm -28truemm -5truemm -6 mm -28truemm the relative contributions of all these components are summarised in fig .
[ reach500 ] , where we have plotted as a function of longitude the flux of the cold and warm component at @xmath243 , as derived by reach et al .
when the fluxes of the various components are plotted as a function of latitude ( fig .
[ reachb ] ) , it can be noted that the cold component contribution appears indeed almost isotropic at @xmath244 .
the cold component is also relatively more important outside of the galactic center .
its longitude distribution corresponds to what is expected from a ring - like distribution , with a hole in the galactic center .
it is important to note ( cf .
[ reach500 ] ) that at @xmath243 , the cold component found by reach et al .
( 1995 ) is 50 times higher than the cibr , tentatively detected by puget et al .
this is obtained at @xmath245 , but the ratio is even higher at lower frequencies ( up to 100 at @xmath246 ) , since the cold component has a lower temperature .
the existence of the very cold component is inescapable .
it can not disappear , even in varying extensively the power @xmath160 of the emissivity law .
one of the best interpretation of the cobe - cold component could be dust associated to cold molecular hydrogen deep inside giant molecular clouds ( gmc ) , shielded from the isrf by the high opacity of the cloud envelopes . that such cold component should exist is no surprise .
it was already predicted by mathis et al .
( 1983 ) in their investigation of the dust emission spectrum in both the diffuse ism and in gmc s . from the determination of the dust absorption cross - section from the lyman continuum to the submm range , and a model of the isrf
, they determine the radiation field inside a gmc , as a function of the optical depth from the surface . assuming a typical homogeneous cloud , they find that the isrf is absorbed in a very thin outer layer of the cloud . inside the cloud the isrf is converted entirely into fir radiation , and its mean intensity is about five times the galactic fir emission .
only the thin outer layer of the clouds is heated enough to radiates at @xmath247 : it corresponds to the warm dust traced by iras observations .
it is well known that this dust mass represents only about 10% of the total dust mass ( e.g. thronson & telesco 1986 , devereux & young 1990 ) .
well inside the gmc s , both silicate and graphite grains reach a temperature between 5 to @xmath205 ( mathis et al .
this estimation did not include the clumping of gas , which could be responsible to even larger opacities , and lower grain temperatures . if the existence of this cold gas could have been easily foreseen , the corresponding amount of gas was completely unknown .
this is due to the fact that the molecular transitions are no longer a good tracer of h@xmath0 mass at high density and low temperatures , as shown by studies of nearby molecular clouds , such as orion . of course
, the main isotopic lines such as co and cs are highly optically thick in such conditions , but also the rare isotopes , such as c@xmath248o or c@xmath249s , are not good tracers of molecular condensations , certainly because of depletion of molecules on grains at high density ( chemistry is not responsible , since the co molecule is not destroyed at high density ) .
mezger et al . (
1992 ) and launhardt et al .
( 1996 ) have mapped in the millimetric dust emission dense cores in the orion molecular cloud .
they discover a certain number of condensations , where the dust emission peaks , which correspond to minima in dust temperature .
the dust condensations _ are not _ or only barely visible in isotopic co and cs transitions , probably because molecules have frozen out on dust grains ( mezger et al .
1992 ) : it appears that molecule depletion becomes important at densities @xmath250 , at least at low dust temperatures @xmath251 .
if the @xmath252 emission of dust is a good pointer towards the dense cold condensations of the orion gmc , they might not indicate the actual h@xmath0 mass , because of large uncertainties in the physics of grains and their true opacities , and also in the actual temperature ( they are determined around @xmath253 from the emission ratio between 870 and @xmath254 ) .
virial masses determined from the cs line - widths are found @xmath255 times higher than the gas mass derived from the @xmath252 dust emission ( launhardt et al .
1996 ) .
the mass in dense cold condensations can therefore only be traced by dust emission at long wavelength , such as with the cobe / firas instrument ( from @xmath256 to @xmath257 ) . although reach et al .
( 1995 ) have discovered precisely such a cold component ( @xmath258 ) , they do not attribute it to cold dust , because it is also present at high latitude .
their argument is that these cold condensations must then be seen in the extinction maps at high latitude , and also their surface should be @xmath200 emitters in iras maps , and they are not observed .
but these clouds are actually detected , both in the iras maps , and in extinction maps , and correspond to the well - known high latitude molecular clouds ( hlc , magnani et al .
1985 ) . the surface filling factor of these hlc s has been debated .
magnani et al . ( 1986 ) estimated a surface filling factor of @xmath259 , while heithausen et al .
( 1993 ) find more than an order of magnitude larger , 13% , in mapping @xmath260 in the co line with the cfa @xmath261 telescope .
they find that the molecular surface density of these high latitude cirrus , projected on the galactic plane , is between @xmath262 to @xmath263 , which corresponds to 20% to 50% of the total molecular surface density of the milky way .
however , the controversy is not so large when the limiting surface density is considered : heithausen et al .
( 1993 ) find a larger surface filling factor , but they include larger and less opaque cloud envelopes .
magnani et al . ( 1996 ) in compiling all literature data confirm their filling fraction of @xmath259 , which corresponds to @xmath264 of the local milky way molecular surface density .
the two estimations differ by a factor 2 , and if we take the overlapping value of 20% , we end up with an average column density of @xmath265 .
this estimation has been made with a low conversion factor for the hlc s : @xmath266(h@xmath0)/@xmath38(co ) ratio of @xmath267 ) for heithausen et al .
( 1993 ) , and a mixed range of values in the compilation of magnani et al .
( 1996 ) ; this estimation is therefore highly uncertain ( by up to an order of magnitude ) , and is likely to be a lower limit . the low conversion factor adopted for hlc
s makes their mass much lower than the virial mass , and their co abundance much larger than that of local dark clouds ( e.g. boden & heithausen 1993 ) . the standard conversion ratio ( cf .
strong et al .
1988 ) would lead to @xmath268 .
the value derived by reach et al .
( 1995 ) for the cold component at high latitude ( @xmath269 ) corresponds to an average column density of @xmath270 , and is therefore compatible with the hlc value , within the uncertainties .
moreover , since reach et al . have ignored any cibr background , their average column density of the cold molecular material at high latitude could be somewhat overestimated ( see fig . 4 ) .
this overestimation of dust optical depth at high latitudes is acknowledged by reach et al .
( 1995 ) : they subtracted from the firas spectra the brightest cibr model from franceschini et al .
( 1994 ) , before repeating their spectral fit ; the optical depths decreased , but the notable point is that the temperatures of the warm and cold components are barely affected
. note that the remarkable correlation between optical depths of the cold and warm cobe components , even at high latitude , supports the interpretation of the cold component as coming from the cold dust shielded by the warm envelopes of the same clouds .
the mean ratio 7 of optical depths found by reach et al .
( 1995 ) reveals that the molecular mass of the galaxy could be 7 times larger than previously assumed . whatever the origin of the cold component is
, it might be a serious problem for measurements of cosmic microwave background fluctuations ; it is not perfectly correlated spatially with the warm dust , and has the temperature and spectrum of the cosmological signal . moreover , since it is likely that this component exists also in every spiral galaxy similar to the milky way , at a temperature @xmath271 , the integrated redshifted signals over all galaxies contribute also to the microwave fluctuations .
it is well established from the big - bang nucleosynthesis and observed abundances of primordial elements that the visible baryons today represent only a small fraction of all baryons that must exist in the universe ( cf .
recent measurements by tytler et al .
the recent micro - lensing experiments conducted towards the magellanic clouds have revealed that machos can account for 20% of this dark baryons ( aubourg et al .
1993 ; alcock et al .
1996 ) ; the constraints are however weak and inconclusive because 0% as well as 100% are still values within the range allowed by the limited statistics of events and a robust estimate of all the errors involved .
cold molecular hydrogen is one of the most appealing candidate ( pfenniger et al .
present observational constraints , when properly assessed , do not rule out this hypothesis .
so we must search for observational tests to constrain or infirm the proposition .
the main difficulty to detect the cold gas in emission is its low temperature , close to the cosmic background temperature .
the detection of the ultrafine " structure of the ortho - h@xmath0 molecules at km wavelengths raises considerable difficulties in the near future , but could be eventually a good means to fix the @xmath266(h@xmath0)/@xmath38(co ) conversion ratio in our galaxy . the hd and lih rotational lines are or will be detectable by far - infrared satellites ( iso , first , ) , but their excitation energy is too high to trace the bulk of the cold gas .
they could at best trace a perturbed fraction of it . in the same vein
, the hyperfine structure line of h@xmath34 could be observed easily from the ground .
absorption lines detection might be the best way if the gas is indeed very cold . since the surface filling factor of the molecular clumps is low ( @xmath165 ) ,
large statistics are required , but the perspectives are far from hopeless .
h@xmath0 absorption in the lyman and werner bands has already been identified in two damped ly@xmath160 systems . for a clumpuscule falling just on the line of sight of a quasar
, we expect a damped absorption .
it is then impossible to detect the quasar in the optical or uv , but in the near - infrared .
tracer molecules like co in absorption are much less promising due to the low metallicity in addition to the low filling factor . finally , it is not excluded that the cold dust component detected by cobe / firas ( reach et al .
1995 ) is tracing the cold h@xmath0 component , limited to galactic radii where the cold gas is still mixed with some dust .
this cold component would be already 7 times more massive than the usual warm dusty ism . as predicted by mathis et al .
( 1983 ) , the dense h@xmath0 cores of giant molecular clouds , shielded from the isrf by large opacities , should keep an equilibrium temperature between 5 and @xmath205 .
the fact that this cold medium is still observed at high latitude is not in contradiction with observations of high - latitude molecular clouds , given the large uncertainties in their true h@xmath0 column densities . at high latitude , there could be also a contribution of the cosmic infrared background radiation ; the latter is however negligible in front of the cold component at low latitude .
we are grateful to claude cohen - tannoudji for enlightening discussions about the quantum mechanical treatment of photon - atom interactions , to joachim schaefer for interesting discussions about the h@xmath0 molecule and its dimers , and to dick tipping for advice about far - wing profiles of molecular lines .
this work was supported by the swiss `` fond national de la recherche scientifique '' .
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in this appendix , we compute the total cross section of the interaction between photons and cold molecular hydrogen , including absorption and scattering .
when a discrete excited level @xmath272 is coupled to a continuum of states , the evolution of the system becomes irreversible .
this is the case for the spontaneous emission , where the probability to stay in the excited level decreases exponentially with time , @xmath273 .
this defines a half - life @xmath274 , where @xmath275 is the transition probability per unit time .
the finite life - time of the levels implies that they acquire a finite width , of the order of @xmath276 ; the energy of the level can then be represented by @xmath277 . a non perturbative quantum approach exists to compute these photon - molecule interaction amplitudes ( e.g. weisskopf & wigner 1930 ) .
the amplitude of absorption and scattering has then a pole in @xmath278 .
this introduces an imaginary part , that corresponds to absorption .
we consider only the molecule in its ground state , absorbing a photon to reach the level @xmath272 . to find the cross section
, we must first sum all amplitudes : @xmath279 where @xmath280 is the matrix element of the interaction , which can be considered here dipolar ( @xmath281 ) , since the photon wavelengths are assumed large with respect to the sizes of the molecules .
the probability of transition from the initial to final state is the product of the above amplitude by the density of state , since a discrete level is coupled with a continuum of states ( the photon energy is continuous ) .
the density of states is @xmath282 , which introduces a term @xmath283 as a function of photon frequency @xmath284 ( cf .
cohen - tannoudji et al .
1988 ) . since
the square of the matrix element @xmath285 is proportional to the square of the dipole , and also to @xmath284 , the total cross - section is proportional to @xmath286 ; this dependency is retrieved in the spontaneous emission coefficient ( @xmath287 , and the related @xmath275 ) ; although very close to the resonance , these coefficients are taken as constants , their @xmath284 dependency should be taken back to find the true shape of emission lines , slightly different from the lorentzian shape ( arnous & heitler 1953 ) .
it can be shown that in the vicinity of an electronic dipolar transition , between levels @xmath272 and @xmath288 , the line profile has the shape : @xmath289 where the resonance occurs for @xmath290 ( with corresponding wavelength @xmath291 ) , @xmath292 and @xmath293 are the statistical weights of the transition levels , and @xmath275 is the natural width of the line ( cf .
power & zienau 1959 ) .
the numerator of this expression can be considered as a constant close enough to the resonance , and the classical lorentzian profile is retrieved . according to the optical theorem ,
the imaginary part of the forward scattering amplitude determines the total cross section for all processes , elastic and inelastic , for a given initial state of the photon ( cf .
for instance landau & lifchitz 1989 ) .
we can consider the absorption cross - section from a stable fundamental state as equal to the total cross section of all possible scattering processes , since in absorbing a quantum , the molecule comes back to its fundamental state after emission of one or several photons .
therefore the total absorption cross - section from the fundamental state , and in the vicinity of resonances , can be written as ( cf .
landau & lifchitz 1989 ) : @xmath294 i.e. the shape of the diffused line coincides with the natural shape of the spontaneously emitted line . it is convenient to introduce the dimensionless oscillator strengths @xmath295 , where @xmath50 is the electron mass and @xmath296 is the matrix element of the dipole ( and @xmath297 ) .
the width of each level is computed by summing the probabilities of spontaneous desexcitation to every lower levels : @xmath298 , and the spontaneous rates are expressed by : @xmath299 where @xmath300 is the classical electron radius .
the total cross section can then be expressed in terms of the thomson section @xmath301 : @xmath302 although there does not exist a simple analytical formula valid over the whole frequency range , the cross section is defined through approximations in the three domains of non - resonant , resonant and free ( high frequencies ) . at the low frequency limit @xmath303
, the photon - molecule interaction reduces to the rayleigh diffusion @xmath304 : @xmath305 ^ 2,\ ] ] and at high energy , the cross section reduces to that of free electrons , @xmath306 , since the electron binding energy is then negligible . at high energy
the cross section is anyway not realistic since the formulae for the ground state ignore ionization and other high - energy effects . for the summation
we consider all lyman and werner lines , as tabulated in abgrall & roueff ( 1989 ) . since we are concerned only with h@xmath0 molecules initially in their ground state ( @xmath36 , @xmath307 ) , we have considered only @xmath308 transitions ( where @xmath309 ) and tabulated 21 and 7 levels respectively in the lyman and werner bands .
the shape of the total cross section is plotted as a function of frequency in fig . | arxiv |
This is a list of Swedish sportspeople.
__NOTOC__
A
Ara Abrahamian - wrestler
Tommy Albelin - ice hockey player
Daniel Alfredsson - ice hockey player
Helen Alfredsson - golfer
Marcus Allbäck - football player
Therese Alshammar - swimmer
Agneta Andersson - canoe racer
Arne Andersson - athlete
Frank Andersson - wrestler
Håkan Andersson - ice hockey scout
H. Johan Andersson - ice hockey player
Johan Andersson - ice hockey player
Johan A. Andersson - ice hockey player
Kennet Andersson - football player
Patrik Andersson - football player
Mikael Appelgren - table tennis player
Johan Asplund - ice hockey player
P. J. Axelsson - ice hockey player
B
Johan Backlund - ice hockey player
Christian Bäckman - ice hockey player
Nicklas Bäckström - ice hockey player
Bengt Baron - swimmer
Malin Baryard-Johnsson - show jumper
Stellan Bengtsson - table tennis
Kajsa Bergqvist - high jumper
Jonas Björkman - tennis
Elias Bjuhr - hockey player
Jesper Blomqvist - football player
Jan Boklöv - ski jumper
Martin Boquist - handball player
Arne Borg - swimmer
Björn Borg 19192009 - swimmer
Björn Borg born 1956 - tennis player
Kenny Bräck - race car driver
Thomas Brolin - football player
Ricky Bruch - discus thrower
C
Per Carlén - handball player
Robert Carlsson - ice hockey player
D
Ulf Dahlén - ice hockey player
Kjell Dahlin - ice hockey player
Martin Dahlin - football player
Alx Danielsson - racing driver
Sven Davidson - tennis player
E
Nancy Edberg - swimmer
Stefan Edberg born 1966 - tennis player
Alexander Edler - ice hockey player
Per Elofsson - cross-country skier
Sten Ekberg - track and field athlete
Nils Ekman - ice hockey player
Oliver Ekman-Larsson - ice hockey player
Ludmila Engquist - hurdler
Thomas Enqvist - tennis player
Marcus Ericsson - racing driver
Anders Eriksson - ice hockey player
Kenneth Eriksson - rally driver
Loui Eriksson - ice hockey player
Sven-Göran Eriksson - football manager
Conny Evensson - ice hockey manager
F
Niclas Fasth - golfer
Magdalena Forsberg - biathlete
Peter Forsberg - ice hockey player
Johan Franzén - ice hockey player
Gert Fredriksson - canoe racer
Lars Frölander - swimmer
Ove Fundin - speedway
G
Anders Gärderud - steeplechase athlete
Peter Gentzel - handball player
Thomas Gradin - ice hockey player
Gillis Grafström - figure skater
Anders Graneheim - bodybuilder
Gunnar Gren - football player
Nicklas Grossmann - ice hockey player
Susanne Gunnarsson - Canoe racer
Anton Gustafsson - ice hockey player
Bengt-Åke Gustafsson - ice hockey player
Tomas Gustafson - speed skater
Alexander Gustafsson - Mixed Martial Artist
H
Gunder Hägg - middle distance runner
Joakim Häggman - golfer
Linda Haglund - sprinter
Yared Hagos - ice hockey player
Per Hallin - ice hockey player
Inge Hammarström - former ice hockey player
Kurt Hamrin - football player
Johan Harmenberg - Olympic champion épée fencer
Niclas Hävelid - ice hockey player
Johan Hedberg - ice hockey player
Victor Hedman - ice hockey player
Jonathan Hedström - ice hockey player
Ronnie Hellström - football player
Stefan Holm - high jumper
Johan Holmqvist - ice hockey player
Leif Honken Holmqvist - ice hockey player
Michael Holmqvist - ice hockey player
Tomas Holmström - ice hockey player
Samuel Hübinette - driver in the Formula D drifting series
Kristian Huselius - ice hockey player
Fredrik Hynning - ice hockey player
I
Zlatan Ibrahimović - football player
Emma Igelström - swimmer
Klas Ingesson - football player
Andreas Isaksson - football player
J
Jonas Jacobsson - sport shooter
Anders Järryd - tennis player
Jonas Jerebko - basketball player
Sixten Jernberg - cross-country skier
Bengt Johansson - handball player/coach
Calle Johansson - ice hockey player
Ingemar Johansson - boxer
Joachim Johansson - tennis player
Jonas Johansson - ice hockey player
Kjell Johansson - table tennis player
Stefan Johansson - Formula One driver
Thomas Johansson - tennis player
Kim Johnsson - ice hockey player
Jörgen Jönsson - ice hockey player
Kenny Jönsson - ice hockey player
Lars Jonsson - ice hockey player
Tomas Jonsson - ice hockey player
K
Charlotte Kalla - cross-country skier
Kim Källström - football player
Anders Kallur - ice hockey player
Jenny Kallur - 100 metres hurdles runner
Susanna Kallur - 100 metres hurdles runner
Anna-Karin Kammerling - swimmer
Andreas Karlsson - ice hockey player
Erik Karlsson - ice hockey player
Nils 'Mora-Nisse' Karlsson - cross-country skier
Peter Karlsson - table tennis
Ola Kimrin - American football player
Ove Kindvall - football player
Carolina Klüft - heptathlete
Ulrika Knape - diver
Carin Koch - golfer
Armand Krajnc - boxer
Annichen Kringstad - orienteer
Niklas Kronwall - ice hockey player
Staffan Kronwall - ice hockey player
John Kvist - football player
L
Gabriel Landeskog - ice hockey player
Adam Larsson - ice hockey player
Gunnar Larsson - swimmer
Henrik Larsson - football player
Eric Lemming - track and field athlete
Nicklas Lidström - ice hockey player
Nils Liedholm - football player
Andreas Lilja - ice hockey player
Anna Lindberg - diver
Ola Lindgren - handball player
Peja Lindholm - curler
Peter Lindmark - ice hockey player
Catarina Lindqvist Ryan - tennis player
Joakim Lindström - ice hockey player
Sanny Lindström - ice hockey player
Willy Lindström - ice hockey player
Freddie Ljungberg - football player
Hanna Ljungberg - football player
Mikael Ljungberg - wrestler
Håkan Loob - ice hockey player
Peter Loob - ice hockey player
Stefan Lövgren - handball player
Henrik Lundqvist - ice hockey player
Joel Lundqvist - ice hockey player
M
Hanna Marklund - football player
Kim Martin - ice hockey player
Björn Melin - ice hockey player
Olof Mellberg - football player
Fredrik Modin - ice hockey player
Eric Moe - ice hockey player
Torgny Mogren - cross-country skier
Mustafa Mohamed - athlete
Malin Moström - football player
Doug Murray - ice hockey player
Mats Wilander - tennis player
N
Markus Näslund - ice hockey player
Mats Näslund - ice hockey player
Liselotte Neumann - golfer
Catrin Nilsmark - golfer
Marcus Nilson - ice hockey player
Joakim Nilsson born 1966
Joakim Nilsson born 1985
Joakim Nilsson - javelin
Jonny Nilsson - speed skater
Kent Nilsson - ice hockey player
Magnus Nilsson - ice hockey player
Mats Nilsson - javelin
Robert Nilsson - ice hockey player
Roland Nilsson - football player and manager
Torbjörn Nilsson - football player
Björn Nittmo - American football kicker
Joakim Noah - basketball player
Anette Norberg - curler
Gunnar Nordahl - football player
Niklas Nordgren - ice hockey player
Tina Nordlund - football player
Magnus Norman - tennis player
Mattias Norström - ice hockey player
Fredrik Nyberg - Alpine skier
Michael Nylander - ice hockey player
Peter Nylander - ice hockey player
Stefan Nystrand - swimmer
Bob Nystrom born 1952 - Swedish-Canadian ice hockey player
O
Johnny Oduya - ice hockey player
Mattias Öhlund - ice hockey player
Fredrik Olausson - ice hockey player
Christian Olsson - triple jumper
Jon Olsson - Skier
Staffan Olsson - handball player
Linus Omark - ice hockey player
P
Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson - ice hockey player
Samuel Påhlsson - ice hockey player
Jesper Parnevik - golfer
Anja Pärson - alpine skier
Joakim Persson - football player
Jörgen Persson - table tennis player
Ronnie Peterson - Formula One driver
Johan Petersson - handball player
Annelie Pompe freediver
David Printz - ice hockey player
R
Thomas Ravelli - football player
Tony Rickardsson - speedway rider
Paolo Roberto - boxer
Jonny Rödlund - football player
Maria Rooth - ice hockey player
Thomas Rundqvist - ice hockey player
Johan Ryno - ice hockey player
S
Henri Saint Cyr - dressage rider
Ulrich Salchow - figure skater
Börje Salming - ice hockey player
Tommy Salo - ice hockey goalkeeper
Kjell Samuelsson - ice hockey player
Magnus Samuelsson - World's Strongest Man in 1998
Mikael Samuelsson - ice hockey player
Ulf Samuelsson - former ice hockey player
Lotta Schelin - football player
Daniel Sedin - ice hockey player
Henrik Sedin - ice hockey player
Agne Simonsson - football player
Patrik Sjöberg - high jumper
Fredrik Sjöström - ice hockey player
Sarah Sjöström - swimmer
Ragnar Skanåker - pistol shooter
Lennart Nacka Skoglund - football player
Christian Söderström - ice hockey player
Annika Sörenstam - golfer
Alexander Steen - ice hockey player
Anders Steen - ice hockey player
Thomas Steen - ice hockey player
Ingemar Stenmark - alpine skier
Henrik Stenson - golfer
Ulf Sterner - ice hockey player
Anton Strålman - ice hockey player
Staffan Strand - high jumper
Stig Strand - alpine skier
Pär Styf - ice hockey player
Oscar Sundh - ice hockey player
Mats Sundin - ice hockey player
Niklas Sundström - ice hockey player
Patrik Sundström - ice hockey player
Peter Sundström - ice hockey player
Gunde Svan - cross-country skier
Johan Svedberg - ice hockey player
Lennart Svedberg - ice hockey player
Björn Svensson - ice hockey player
Tomas Svensson - handball player
Victoria Svensson - football player
T
Henrik Tallinder - ice hockey player
Dick Tärnström - ice hockey player
Jeffery Taylor - basketball player
Mikael Tellqvist - ice hockey player
Jonas Thern - football player
Daniel Tjärnqvist - ice hockey player
Mathias Tjärnqvist - ice hockey player
Sven Tumba - ice hockey player
W
Jan-Ove Waldner - table tennis player
Niclas Wallin - ice hockey player
Mats Waltin - ice hockey player
Fredrik Warg - ice hockey player
Thomas Wassberg - cross-country skier
Mattias Weinhandl - ice hockey player
Mattias Wennerberg - ice hockey player
Pernilla Wiberg - alpine skier
Mats Wilander born 1964 - tennis player
Björn Wirdheim - Champ car driver
Magnus Wislander - handball player
Z
Henrik Zetterberg - ice hockey player
Pär Zetterberg - football player
See also
List of Swedish Olympic medalists
Swedish athletes
Swedish basketball players
Swedish canoeists
Swedish footballers
Swedish golfers
Swedish high jumpers
Swedish ice hockey players
Swedish show jumping riders
Swedish sport wrestlers
Swedish swimmers
Swedish table tennis players
Sports
Swedish
Sportspeople
# | wikipedia |
Adele Megann born September 3, 1962 is a Canadian writer. She is a recipient of the Bronwen Wallace Memorial Award.
Biography
Megann attended Concordia University, received an MA from the University of Notre Dame in 1985 and a BEd from the University of Calgary 1998.
Megann is a Newfoundlander based in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Her short fiction has been published in many Canadian and United States reviews and anthologies. As an active member of the writing community, Megann has won several awards, emceed readings, and taught creative writing. She has given over thirty readings and interviews. Megann lived several years in Calgary, where she was part of the Pack of Liars writing workshop, and was a fiction editor of Dandelion magazine. Since moving to Nova Scotia in 1999, Megann has participated in Writers in the Schools throughout the province.
Megann's plays have been read at the Exodus Tuesday Reading Series. She has performed twice in the Playwrights in Performance Cabaret. She has written curriculum guides for Exodus Theatre Society and coordinated their school matinees. In the summer of 2005, she was awarded a grant by the Province of Nova Scotia to write a play.
Megann has taught diverse subjects to children and adults, including those with disabilities. In the present day, she mostly teaches music. She once owned a candle-making business called Beesworks Chandlery.
She was fiction editor of Dandelion magazine.
Her work has appeared in a number of literary journals and anthologies including Boundless Alberta.
Awards
1995 Bronwen Wallace Memorial Award
2001 24th Annual Atlantic Writing Competition, Honourable Mention in Novel category,
2002 2-20-200 Contest, Filling Station, First runner-up
2002 Journey Prize, Nomination for the
Works
Boundless Alberta, NeWest Press, 1993,
References
External links
Category:Living people
Category:1962 births
Category:Concordia University alumni
Category:University of Notre Dame alumni
Category:University of Calgary alumni
Category:Canadian women short story writers
Category:20th-century Canadian short story writers
Category:21st-century Canadian short story writers
Category:21st-century Canadian women writers
Category:20th-century Canadian women writers | wikipedia |
it is common to study dynamics of a system with a large number of degrees of freedom in almost every scientific field . in general
it is impractical , and often unnecessary , to track all the dynamic information of the whole system . furthermore even if the dynamic information of the whole system is available , a set of equations of motion or representations at reduced dimension are often desirable to reveal the system dynamics more transparently and informatively , or to allow efficient description of long time dynamics .
consider , for example , a protein may have tens of thousands of atoms interacting with an even larger number of solvent molecules and other molecules .
however , to provide insights of the protein functional mechanism it is often needed to monitor a few number of collective modes . in statistical physics , the celebrated zwanzig - mori projection approach is a general and formal procedure to derive the equations of motion of a set of selected primary degrees of freedom , while the remaining secondary degrees of freedom manifest their effects on the primary degrees implicitly .
this basic idea can be dated back to einstein on his treatment on brownian motion @xcite .
inspired by techniques from quantum mechanics , zwanzig provided a formal procedure leading to a set of governing equations in the form of generalized langevin equations ( gles ) @xcite . in the limit that there is clear time scale separation between the primary and secondary degrees of freedom , the gles can reduce into langevin equations .
mori further derived a simplified version of the equations that is `` inherently linear in the system variables '' @xcite . the z - m procedure is typically adopted to studies on closed hamiltonian systems that relax to thermodynamic equilibrium in the long time limit .
one notable recent development is the work of lange and grubmuller to derive the dynamic equations of some collective coordinates with the zwanzig projection procedure @xcite .
the success of the zwanzig - mori projection approach leads to great interest to apply it to general non - hamiltonian systems out of thermal dynamic equilibrium , which may be dynamically highly inhomogeneous , and have fascinating emerging properties such as oscillations and bifurcations .
examples include climate changes in one place , stock market fluctuations , and collective dynamics of @xmath0 neurons in a brain , stochastic dynamics of gene regulatory networks .
it is of both theoretical and practical significances to examine the applicability of the projection formalism to complex systems , if yes , what new features of the gles exist .
chorin and coworkers have made considerable efforts in this field @xcite . using a time series analysis approach@xcite , erban et al .
showed how one can reconstruct a one - dimensional fokker - planck equation , or the equivalent langevin equation , to recapitulate the dynamics of a gene regulatory network such as a toggle switch .
kawai and komatsuzaki derived the gles in nonstationary environments @xcite .
recently xing and kim applied the projection approach to nonequilbrium non - hamiltonian systems with stochastic dynamics and derived the corresponding gles . in this paper we will further present a numerical procedure on how to reconstruct gles in a reduced representation from full model simulations .
a prominent feature of the procedure is that all the model parameters are extracted directly from the data , in the same spirit of erban _
et al_@xcite .
the remaining part of the paper is organized as follows : in sec .
[ sec : theory ] we summarize the theory of the zwanzig - mori projection and its generalization to non - hamiltonian systems ; in sec .
[ sec : methods ] we present the numerical approach to extract the gle model parameters ; sec .
[ sec : results ] shows numerical tests on two model systems ; and we conclude with discussions in sec .
[ sec : discussions ] .
first we give a heuristic presentation on the projection approach , following the discussions given in @xcite with some modifications , and focusing on the hamiltonian systems .
consider a system described by the hamiltonian , @xmath1 where @xmath2 and @xmath3 are position and conjugate momentum vectors .
we will use mass - weighted coordinates here . the liouville operator @xmath4 is defined as , @xmath5 for an arbitrary dynamic variable @xmath6 , the projection operator is defined as , @xmath7 where @xmath8 composes the basis set for the projected subspace .
the inner product for two arbitrary variables @xmath6 and @xmath9 is defined as , @xmath10 where @xmath11 means taking transpose and complex conjugate .
any dynamic variable within the subspace can be expressed as a linear combination of the basis functions .
the projected equations of an arbitrary dynamic variable @xmath6 , which is defined within the projected subspace , are given by , @xmath12 where @xmath13 the last equation leads to the generalized fluctuation - dissipation relation , and we have used the anti - hermitian property of the liouville operator . in practice
the basis sets are usually chosen as portion of the coordinate vector @xmath2 and the corresponding conjugate momentum vector @xmath3 .
mori derived a gle that is linear to the coordinates and momentum @xcite .
however , in principle this restriction is unnecessary .
one can expand the hilbert space to include high order combinations of the coordinates and momentum .
appendix [ appendixanalytic ] gives such an analytic example .
therefore it should be clear that while the projection is performed in the linear hilbert space , the resultant gles can be nonlinear to the coordinate variable .
especially below let s consider the extreme limit of including all the possible hilbert functions composed by the coordinate and velocity ( or momentum ) in reduced dimension .
the following procedure is analogous to what adopted by zwanzig @xcite . for simplicity
let s focus on projecting onto a one - dimensional manifold @xmath14 and its conjugate momentum , while generalization to higher dimensions is straightforward .
noticing that a possible choice of the basis set of the hilbert space is @xmath15 , one can expand @xmath14 and @xmath16 as @xmath17 therefore @xmath14 and @xmath18 are vectors in the full hilbert space .
let s consider the sub - hilbert space , which may still have infinite dimension , supported by all the possible multiplicative combinations of @xmath14 and @xmath18 , such as @xmath19 .
a key observation is that these basis functions , denoted @xmath20 , compose a complete basis set for the subspace so any arbitrary function of @xmath21 , can be fully expressed by the basis set .
that is , for an arbitrary function @xmath22 , the inner product becomes @xmath23 where @xmath24 the above expression may be more familiar if the dirac bra and ket notations are used .
then one obtains explicit expressions for the first term on the right hand side of eqn .
[ eqn : gle_formal ] , @xmath25 to derive the above expression , we perform integration by parts , and use the relations , @xmath26 compared to eqn .
[ eqn : collective_cdot ] , the result derived by lange and grubmuller has an extra term @xmath27 in the expression of @xmath28 @xcite .
the discrepancy may come from the fact that the projection operator defined in @xcite does not rigorously satisfy @xmath29 .
it remains to be examined on how this extra term may affect the dynamics . in the case
@xmath30 is a linear combination of @xmath2 , and is chosen to satisfy @xmath31 , eqn .
[ eqn : collective_cdot ] gives the familiar relation to the gradient of potential of mean force .
recently xing and kim@xcite applied the zwanzig - mori projection procedure to a general dynamic system described by a set of stochastic differential equations , @xmath32 in general the vector @xmath33 can not be represented as the gradient of a scalar potential due to violation of detailed balance , @xmath34 and @xmath35 may be different , @xmath36 are temporally uncorrelated , statistically independent gaussian white noise with the averages satisfying @xmath37 , @xmath38 is related to the @xmath39 diffusion matrix @xmath40 , where the transpose of a matrix is designated by the superscript @xmath41 .
the resultant gles for projection to @xmath42 , components of @xmath2 , assume the form @xmath43 where @xmath44 is the potential of mean force , @xmath45 is in general not symmetric , reflecting violation of detailed balance , and the generalized fluctuation - dissipation theorem reads , @xmath46 where @xmath47 .
for simplicity in the remaining discussions we focus on the case that the projected system is one - dimensional , while generalization to higher dimensions is straightforward .
in this work , we assume that the full dynamics of the system under study , or the time series data of the primary degrees of freedom are available , and our goal is to reconstruct the dynamic equation in the reduced dimension from the data . consider a generic 1-d generalized langevin equation , @xmath48+\mathcal{f}(t ) \label{eq : glealt}\ ] ] we first integrate it from time @xmath49 to @xmath50 for discrete time steps @xmath51 , and perform ensemble average over the random force .
notice that the random force @xmath52 averages out to 0 , then eqn.[eq : glealt ] becomes , @xmath53 \label{eq : gleavg}\end{aligned}\ ] ] this can further be approximated as , @xmath54 alternatively , by multiplying @xmath55 on both sides of eqn .
[ eq : glealt ] before performing average and integration , one obtains an equation for the autocorrelation function counterpart of eqn .
[ eq : memk ] , @xmath56 \nonumber\\ & & + \sum_{j=1}^{i-1}\gamma_1(t_{j+1/2 } ) \left [ \langle x(t_0)x(t_{i - j+1})\rangle - \langle x(t_0 ) x(t_{i - j})\rangle \right ] \bigg\ } \nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] the potential of mean force @xmath44 can be obtained directly from the stationary distribution @xmath57 from @xmath58 , and all the ensemble averaged terms ( @xmath59 ) can be obtained from the data . both eqns .
[ eq : memk ] and [ eq : memcorr ] are linear equations of the terms @xmath45 and @xmath60 .
for example , eqn.[eq : memk ] can be rewritten in matrix form as , @xmath61 here @xmath62 , elements of the square matrix @xmath63 for @xmath64 and 0 otherwise and @xmath65 .
however , it is not numerically desirable to solve any of them directly , since numerical errors in @xmath66 and @xmath67 accumulate quickly and lead to inaccurate and unstable prediction of the gle parameters
. instead we regularize the data using the tikhonov regularization ( also know as ridge regularization ) @xcite .
simply speaking , the tikhonov regularization adds a penalty term to damp the highly oscillating components of the estimator .
mathematically , we need to minimize the function ; @xmath68 in this work we choose @xmath69 , for @xmath70 and @xmath71 for @xmath72 and 0 otherwise , except for the first and the last row where all elements are 0 .
the term @xmath73 is a preselected constant , which we will refer as the penalization factor .
this minimization yields a simple solution of the form , @xmath74 we assume that @xmath75 is a smooth function of @xmath76 , and thus the penalty function @xmath77 is chosen to minimize the derivatives , or differences between @xmath75 at two consecutive time points .
however , use of the function @xmath77 may also lose meaningful information and distort the result .
hence the penalty factor , @xmath73 , must be chosen wisely .
below we demonstrate how to choose @xmath73 properly using two examples .
using eqn .
[ eq : glealt ] and with @xmath44 , @xmath45 , and @xmath60 determined , we simulate the gle using the following discretized version , @xmath78 we use the method of berkowitz et al.@xcite to generate the random forces , with each realization given by @xmath79\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath80 and @xmath81 are random numbers drawn from independent random gaussian distributions , @xmath82 and @xmath4 is the number of time steps over which the pseudo - random forces repeat
. therefore @xmath83 should be no less than the simulation time .
the spectral density @xmath84 is determined using the memory kernel through the wiener
khintchine@xcite theorem , @xmath85 where @xmath86 .
calculation of the spectral density may need @xmath60 at time points finer that those retrieved in section [ subset : tr ] , e.g. , within @xmath87 and @xmath49 , which are obtained through linear interpolation using @xmath88 and @xmath89 in this work .
to demonstrate the strength of our parameter free projection method , we first apply it to a simple nonlinear chemical network .
this network is an end product inhibition motif found in metabolic and other biology networks .
the reactions are governed by irreversible michaelis menten kinetics , @xmath90 and @xmath91 values @xmath92 , @xmath93 , @xmath94 are used in the simulations .
the system initially relaxes to the steady - state .
we choose @xmath95 as our species of interest .
we determine the potential of the mean force defined as @xmath96 , where @xmath97 is the stationary state distribution of @xmath95 . at time 0 , the concentration of @xmath98 is jumped to @xmath99 .
the relaxation dynamics @xmath100 , which is defined as the value of @xmath95 averaged over all trajectories , is recorded for every time step with an interval of @xmath101 . in order to compute the memory kernel ( @xmath45 , @xmath60 )
we first obtain the mean force through histogram counting and fit the entire @xmath102 with @xmath103 piecewise quadratic functions to facilitate the derivative calculations .
next while recording the @xmath100 we also record the @xmath104 for every time step determined using the functional form determined using the piecewise quadratic fits .
actually this model system has been studied in our earlier work @xcite , where the memory kernel is obtained by fitting with an ansatz of the function form .
here it is calculated directly using eqn .
[ eq : tikho3 ] .
the time independent part of the memory kernel , @xmath45 obtained for this system is @xmath105 , the time dependent memory kernel , @xmath60 is shown in fig [ fig : jcpex ] .
@xmath34 , the number of time steps over which the pseudo - random forces repeat is chosen to be @xmath106 for the gle whereas the @xmath101 .
both agree well with the previous results @xcite , but differ in subtle details .
as shown in fig [ fig : jcpex]c , this subtle difference leads to remarkable improvement on the agreement between the gle result and the full model calculation , compared to the previous work .
notice that both @xmath60 and @xmath107 show damped oscillations with similar frequency .
furthermore , with the same memory kernel as shown in fig [ fig : jcpex ] , we predict the relaxation dynamics with different values of @xmath108 and @xmath109 . again
, the results in fig . [ fig : otherstpt ] show striking agreements with the full model calculations .
in general it is a question to what extent the gle parameters are transferable from one situation to another one .
the results here give a positive answer .
next we examine a more challenging system shown in fig [ fig : bist]a .
it is a phenomenological model proposed by tyson et .
al . to capture the crosstalk between the growth factor ( gf ) and esptrogen receptor ( er ) signaling in cancer studies @xcite .
all components in gf signaling are lumped into the black box named ` gfr ' , the growth factor receptor .
extracellular estrogen , e2-bound esptrogen receptor , er ( er : e2 ) inhibits gfr
. withdrawn of e2 promotes activation of gfr , which then activates erp ( phosphorylated er ) and erp : e2 ( e2 bound phosphorylated er complex ) .
erp facilitates / stabilizes gfr activation .
further details of this model can be found in @xcite .
a remarkable feature of this system is that it can have bistable dynamics .
appendix [ appendixergfr ] gives the detailed scheme for the full model and the gle simulations .
we use chemical langevin equations to simulate the stochastic dynamics .
table [ tab : t1 ] in appendix [ appendixergfr ] gives the model parameters .
figure [ fig : bist]b shows that this bistable system has a double - well shaped potential of mean force , with the more stable ( left ) state corresponding to the low gfr activity state . to generate the data for reconstructing the gle , we initialize the system within the right well corresponding to the high gfr activity state . fig .
[ fig : bist]c gives the obtained memory kernel @xmath60 .
it seems to reach zero at @xmath110 mins . as our first attempt
, we hence set @xmath111 for @xmath112 .
however , the blue curve in fig . [ fig : bist]d shows that the gle result does not agree well with the full model simulation results except at an early stage and the long time behavior . for the latter it is because the long time steady state behavior is governed by the potential of mean force . for the former the early stage dynamics is governed by @xmath45 .
the discrepancy in the middle stage suggests that @xmath75 is not sufficiently long .
physically , we think that the relaxation process involves the fast intrawell dynamics and the slow inter - well dynamics . in this case
the inter - well transition dynamics is beyond a simple markovian process , but shows correlation among transitions .
correspondingly , the memory kernel @xmath75 shows a rather long tail ( fig .
[ fig : bist]c ) , and a biphasic relaxation dynamics for @xmath113 ( fig .
[ fig : bist]d ) . indeed using the evaluated @xmath60 up to @xmath114 mins
, we obtain an excellent agreement between the gle ( red curve in fig .
[ fig : bist]d ) and the full model simulations .
next , we use the reconstructed gle to predict the first passage time distribution for the transition from the right well ( high gfr ) to the left well ( low gfr ) . fig .
[ fig : fpt ] shows excellent agreement between the gle and full model results .
it is a highly nontrivial achievement to reproduce the whole distribution , not just a few moments , such as the mean first passage time .
reconstruction of the governing equations is an important step towards understanding a dynamical system .
the zwanzig - mori projection method provides a rigorous theoretical formalism . in this work
, we present a numerical procedure to reconstruct the gles from the data .
numerical tests on two model systems show that the accuracy of the algorithm is encouraging .
[ eqn : gle_formal ] is a mathematically exact solution .
it is equivalent to but mathematically more involved than the original dynamic equations .
the practical usage of the projection approach lies in the assumption that the effect of the implicitly treated secondary degrees of freedom can be well replaced by the potential of mean force , the memory kernel with some simple function forms , and the related noises with certain statistical properties .
therefore one expects that the gles after such approximation in the form of eqn .
[ eqn : gle_phe ] work best for systems coupled to many degrees of freedom .
einstein shows a classical example that a single drag coefficient and a corresponding white noise term can well describe the dynamics of a brownian particle influenced by its interaction with avogadro number of solvent molecules .
then it is out of surprise that for both of the two models , which have only a small number of degrees of freedom , the gle results and the full model simulations agree remarkably well
. it may be partly due to the fact that the full system dynamics is governed by stochastic differential equations , and the stochastic noise can be viewed as generated by a bath system with infinite number of degrees of freedom @xcite .
it remains to examine to what extent one can use a coordinate - independent memory kernel form to describe a dynamic system .
most molecular systems are well modeled by some simple memory kernel forms such as an exponentially decayed function .
recent single molecule studies reveal a power - law form for describing intramolecular fluctuations @xcite .
studies on the two model systems in this work show that the function form can be more complex for systems kept out of equilibrium .
can one find a set of common function forms corresponding to systems with different dynamic behaviors ?
let s ask the problem in an alternative way . in two or higher dimensions , the gles in eqn .
[ eqn : gle_phe ] share similar form as those obtained for hamiltonian systems relaxing to equilibrium , except that the matrix @xmath45 is not symmetric .
for a one - dimensional gle , however , the form is the same .
then can one tell whether it describes a closed or open system from the equation itself ? in this work we perform numerical simulations with the stochastic gles to demonstrate their accuracy .
simulating gles with colored noise is computationally expensive , especially if the noise spectrum has a long tail . in practical applications , in general
there is no need to perform such full stochastic simulations .
instead one may just need to calculate the first few moments of the distribution , or work with the corresponding fokker - planck equation .
our numerical studies also reveal that the quality of a reconstructed gle is very sensitive to the accuracy of the potential of mean force , which then requires well converged sampling .
some systematic studies and statistical tools are needed to improve the accuracy of reconstruction with less sufficient data . in our current algorithm
, we first obtain the potential of mean force , and then the memory kernel that is affected by the form of the former
. it may be desirable to have a procedure to reconstruct the two simultaneously .
model 2 examined in this work shows a very long memory kernel , which includes both intra- and inter - well dynamics .
one possible reason is that @xmath115 is not a good choice for the reaction coordinate , and the dynamics along the orthogonal degrees of freedom is comparable or even slower than that along @xmath115 .
lange and grubmuller demonstrated how to reconstruct a gle along a nonlinear collective coordinate @xcite .
one may follow similar procedure to examine whether a short memory kernel can be obtained , and whether the dynamics between the two states can be approximated as markovian processes . in this work we focus on model reduction .
since the data needed for reconstruction is in the form of time series , the procedure can be used as a way of nonlinear time series analysis @xcite .
the latter is an active and under - developed area , with a main difficulty lying in how to construct the nonlinear function form . in the gle formalism , however , the nonlinearity is given by the potential of mean force that is automatically obtained from data .
therefore in principle the difficulty of selecting the nonlinear function form does not exist .
in conclusion , in this work we demonstrate the practical feasibility and accuracy of using the gles to model the dynamics of a general dynamic system , _
i.e. _ , with or without detailed balance constraint , in reduced dimension .
further developments are necessary to test the formalism in different systems and make the algorithm practically useful on studying complex systems .
we thank steve press for suggesting the tikhonov regularization method .
this work is supported by national science foundation ( dms-0969417 ) , and the institute for critical technology and applied science of virginia tech .
we also thank the athena cluster at the advanced research computing facility at virginia tech for providing computational resources .
here we consider a system - bath hamiltonian , @xmath116 zwanzig discussed a nonlinear gle for the system coordinates @xmath117 obtained by directly solving the equations of motion @xcite , @xmath118 the memory kernel and the random force terms are given by , @xmath119 with the fluctuation - dissipation relation , @xmath120 the average is over an equilibrium heat bath with the system constrained at @xmath121 . by projecting to the hilbert space @xmath122 with mori s procedure ,
one can also obtain a linearized gle @xcite , @xmath123 where @xmath124 , and the the random force and memory kernel terms are also related by the fluctuation - dissipation relation @xmath125 however in this case , the average is over the unconstrained thermal equilibrium distribution .
effects of the nonlinear term @xmath126 are contained in the renormalized coefficent @xmath127 , the memory kernel , and the random force terms . in the following discussions
, we will generalize the projection procedure of mori by choosing a basis set @xmath128 .
functions with even powers of @xmath129 makes no contribution to the projection ( @xmath130 ) .
therefore the lowest nolinear basis function is @xmath131 .
first , @xmath132 let s calculate the normalization matrix , @xmath133 where @xmath134 .
the memory function and the random force in the equation of motion of @xmath129 vanish , which can be seen from , @xmath135 one has , @xmath136 however , one also has , @xmath137 therefore , @xmath138 then , @xmath139 one can easily show that the random force ( through @xmath140 ) and memory kernel ( through eqn .
[ eqn : memory_general ] ) terms are the same as those given in eqs .
[ eqn : memory_exact ] and [ eqn : randforce_exact ] , although in general here the average perform in eqn .
[ eqn : memory_general ] is over the unconstrained thermal equilibrium distribution . therefore with the mori projection procedure we recover eqs .
[ eqn : gle_exact ] , [ eqn : memory_exact ] , [ eqn : randforce_exact ] obtained by exact integration . following similar procedure , one can show that further expanding the basis functions to include higher orders of @xmath141 does not change the projected equation form .
the above results can also be obtained by applying eqs .
[ eqn : gle_formal ] , [ eqn : collective_c ] , [ eqn : collective_cdot ] directly . [ cols="<,^,<",options="header " , ] [ tab : t1 ]
the rate equations for the er - gfr signaling switch are taken from @xcite and are listed below ; @xmath142}{dt}=k_{ser}-k_{der}[er]+k_{dser : e2}[er : e2]-k_{aser : e2}[er][e2]+\frac{k_{dperp}[erp]}{j_{dperp}+[erp]}-\frac{k_{per}a_{gfr}[er]}{j_{per}+[er]}\\ \nonumber & & \frac{d[erp]}{dt}=-k_{der}[erp]-k_{dser : e2}[erp : e2]-k_{aser : e2}[erp][e2]-\frac{k_{dperp}[erp]}{j_{dperp}+[erp]}+\frac{k_{per}a_{gfr}[er]}{j_{per}+[er]}\\ \nonumber & & \frac{d[er : e2]}{dt}=-k_{der}[er : e2]-k_{dser : e2}[er : e2]+k_{aser : e2}[er][e2]+\frac{k_{dperp}[erp : e2]}{j_{dperp}+[erp : e2]}\\ \nonumber & & \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } -\frac{k_{per}a_{gfr}[er : e2]}{j_{per}+[er : e2]}\\ \nonumber & & \frac{d[erp : e2]}{dt}=-k_{der}[erp : e2]-k_{dser : e2}[erp : e2]+k_{aser : e2}[erp][e2]-\frac{k_{dperp}[erp : e2]}{j_{dperp}+[erp : e2]}\\ \nonumber & & \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } \mbox { } + \frac{k_{per}a_{gfr}[er : e2]}{j_{per}+[er : e2]}\\ & & \frac{da_{gfr}}{dt}=\gamma \left[\left({1+e^{-\sigma\left(\omega_0+\omega_1[er : e2]+\omega_2[erp : e2]+\omega_3[erp]+\omega_4[gfr]\right)}}\right)^{-1}-a_{gfr}\right ] \label{eq : rate}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where , @xmath143 $ ] is the concentration of unbound estrogen receptor ; @xmath144 $ ] , the concentration of unbound phosphorylated estrogen receptor ; @xmath145 $ ] , the concentration of estrogen receptor bound to estrogen ( @xmath146 $ ] ) ; @xmath147 $ ] , the concentration of phosphorylated estrogen receptor bound to estrogen and @xmath115 is defined as the activity of growth factor receptor defined as @xmath148 $ ] .
table [ tab : t1 ] lists all the model parameters .
+ + following tyson _ et al _ , we convert the deterministic rate equations eqn . [
eq : rate ] to chemical langevin equations as follows .
specifically we add nonzero noise terms to the equations of @xmath149 and @xmath115 , @xmath150 where @xmath151 determines the time scale of synthesis and degradation reaction of species @xmath152 , @xmath153 represents the steady state level of species @xmath152 , @xmath154 indicates the rate of all other reactions affecting @xmath152 , @xmath155 , and @xmath156 is a gaussian noise term . only fluctuations arising from the processes of protein synthesis and degradation
are added to the model ; noise terms arising from the fast association disassociation and phosphorylation dephosphorylation reactions are ignored . in our simulations ,
a hard reflecting barrier is imposed at 0 for all chemical species ( but not for @xmath115 ) , so that only positive concentrations are involved . for @xmath157 $ ]
, a negative value corresponds to concentration of gfr less than 1 , so there is no scope of negative concentration of @xmath158 .
+ + for reconstruction of the gle , we choose @xmath115 as our species of interest .
the chemical langevin equation , described by eqns .
[ eq : rate ] and [ eq : ergfrcle2 ] with parameters from the table [ tab : t1 ] , is simulated for @xmath159 with a time step of @xmath106 mins using initial concentration of @xmath146 = 0 nm$ ] , @xmath143=19.04 nm$ ] , @xmath144=3.15 nm$ ] , @xmath145=[erp : e2]=0 $ ] , @xmath160 . thereafter the stationary state distribution , @xmath97 is obtained by sampling @xmath161 points .
the mean force potential , fig [ fig : bist]b , is obtained using the relation @xmath162 . to study the dynamics , @xmath115 is dragged out of stationary state and set to @xmath163 , while the concentration of the rest of the species are sampled from the original stationary distribution . to determine the memory kernel ( @xmath45 and @xmath60 ) the mean potential is fit with @xmath103 piecewise quadratic functions .
using the functional form of the mean force obtained via the quadratic fits and eqn .
[ eq : memk ] the memory kernel is determined for @xmath164 .
we would like to point out that a large value of the penalizing factor in tikhonov regularization results in inaccurate estimate of the @xmath60 while a small value accumulates error with time . hence
four different values of @xmath73 are used for different intervals _ viz .
_ @xmath165 for @xmath166 , @xmath167 , @xmath168 , and beyond @xmath169 mins , respectively .
although @xmath170 is a large penalization , the general signature _
i.e. _ a slow relaxation of the long tail , @xmath112 mins , of the memory kernel remains intact . for the spectral density calculations , @xmath34 , the number of time steps over which the pseudo - random forces repeat is chosen to be @xmath106 for the gle reconstruction with short memory kernel and @xmath171 for the long one , corresponding to the trajectories shown in blue and red curves respectively in fig [ fig : bist]d , with time step @xmath164 .
+ + since these simulations are computationally expensive , the codes are parallelized using _ mpirun _ in _ athena _ cluster at virginia tech advanced research computing facility on 8 cpu nodes with 16 processors per node . | arxiv |
Cieszeniewo is a village in the administrative district of Gmina Świdwin, within Świdwin County, West Pomeranian Voivodeship, in north-western Poland. It lies approximately east of Świdwin and north-east of the regional capital Szczecin.
Before 1945 the area was part of Germany. For the history of the region, see History of Pomerania.
The village has a population of 220.
Notable residents
Ernst von Rüchel 17541823, Prussian general
References
Cieszeniewo | wikipedia |
Heat production of magnifying glass
Why Magnifying glass(convex lens) produces heat when placed in front of sun?
When you focus light from the Sun you are actually creating an image of the Sun. If the focal length of the lens is $f$ the radius of the image is given by:
$$ r = \frac{r\_s}{d\_s} f $$
where $d\_s$ is the distance to the Sun and $r\_s$ is the radius of the Sun. The fraction $r\_s/d\_s \approx 10^{-3}$, so if you choose a lens with a focal length of 10cm the radius of the image is about 0.1mm (assuming the lens is perfect).
The intensity of sunlight is around 1kW per square metre - the exact value depends on latitude, season, time of day, cloud cover, etc, etc so let's just take 1kW/m$^2$ as a representative figure. All the light falling on your lens is being concentrated into the 0.1mm radius image of the Sun, so if the radius of your lens is $r\_l$ the power per unit area in the image is:
$$ I = \left(\frac{r\_l}{0.1 mm} \right)^2 1kW/m^2 $$
So if the lens radius is 5 cm, which seems a fairly standard size for a lens, then the power per unit area in the focussed image of the Sun is about 250MW/m$^2$ or 250,000 times the intensity of Sunlight on the Earth. That's why it's hot!
Of course the total power isn't very great, because even though the focussed light is very intense the area of the 0.1 mm image is only about $3 \times 10^{-8}$ square metres. The total power is just the area over which light is being collected (the area of your lens) times 1 kW. A bigger lens will capture more sunlight and focus more power.
It is the sun that produces the energy that falls on the convex lens in the form of light (and a bit more than just light in the visible part of the spectrum). The lens concentrates all this light in a small spot. A good fraction of the energy is converted to heat if the material at the focal point is suitable.
The lens focuses light due to refraction. Absorbance of light by a surface creates heat. More intense light due to focusing creates more heat per unit area at the focal region.
| stackexchange/physics |
The Siege of Constantinople in 1203 was a Crusader siege of the capital of the Byzantine Empire, in support of the deposed emperor Isaac II Angelos and his son Alexios IV Angelos. It marked the main outcome of the Fourth Crusade.
Siege
To take the city by force, the Crusaders first needed to cross the Bosphorus. About 200 ships, horse transports and galleys would undertake to deliver the crusading army across the narrow strait, where Alexius III had lined up the Byzantine army in battle formation along the shore, north of the suburb of Galata. The Crusaders' knights charged straight out of the horse transports, and the Byzantine army fled south.
The Crusaders followed south, and attacked the Tower of Galata, which held one end of the chain that blocked access to the Golden Horn. The Tower of Galata held a garrison of mercenary troops of English, Danish, and Italian origin. As the crusaders laid siege to the Tower, the defenders routinely attempted to sally out with some limited success, but often suffered bloody losses. On one occasion the defenders sallied out but were unable to retreat back to the safety of the tower in time, the Crusader forces viciously counterattacked, with most of the defenders being cut down or drowning in the Bosporus in their attempts to escape. The Golden Horn now lay open to the Crusaders, and the Venetian fleet entered.
On 11 July the Crusaders took positions opposite the Blachernae palace on the northwest corner of the city. Alexios IV was paraded outside the walls, but the citizens were apathetic, as Alexios III, though a usurper and illegitimate in the eyes of the westerners, was an acceptable emperor for the Byzantine citizens. The siege began in earnest on 17 July, with four divisions attacking the land walls, while the Venetian fleet attacked the sea walls from the Golden Horn. The Venetians took a section of the wall of about 25 towers, while the Varangian guard held off the Crusaders on the land wall. The Varangians shifted to meet the new threat, and the Venetians retreated under the screen of fire. The fire lasted for 3 days and destroyed about of the city, leaving 20,000 people homeless.
Alexius III finally took offensive action, and led 17 divisions from the St. Romanus Gate, vastly outnumbering the Crusaders. Alexius III's army of about 8,500 men faced the Crusader's 7 divisions about 3,500 men, but his courage failed, and the Byzantine army returned to the city without a fight.
On 18 July 1203 the Crusaders launched an assault on the city, and Alexios III immediately fled into Thrace. The next morning, the Crusaders were surprised to find that the citizens had released Isaac II from prison and proclaimed him emperor, despite the fact that he had been blinded to make him ineligible to rule. The Crusaders forced Isaac II to proclaim his son Alexios IV co-emperor on 1 August, effectively ending the siege.
After the 1203 siege
Following the end of the first siege of Constantinople in 1203, on 1 August 1203, the pro-Crusader Alexios Angelos was crowned Emperor Alexios IV of the Byzantine Empire, who then tried to stabilize the city. But riots between anti-Crusader Greeks and pro-Crusader Latins broke out later that month and lasted until November, during which most of the populace began to turn against Emperor Alexios IV.
On 25 January 1204, the death of co-Emperor Isaac II set off rioting in Constantinople in which the people deposed Alexios IV, who turned to the Crusaders for help but was imprisoned by the imperial chamberlain, Alexios Doukas, who declared himself Emperor Alexios V on 5 February. Emperor Alexios V then attempted to negotiate with the Crusaders for a withdrawal from Byzantine territory, but they refused to abandon their old treaty with Alexios IV. When Alexios V ordered Alexios IV's execution on 8 February, the Crusaders declared war on Alexios V. In March 1204, the Crusader and Venetian leadership decided on the outright conquest of Constantinople, and drew up a formal agreement to divide the Byzantine Empire between them. By the end of that month, the combined Crusader armies had begun the 1204 Siege of Constantinople as Emperor Alexios V began to strengthen the city's defences while conducting more active operations outside the city.
See also
Siege of Constantinople 1204
Siege of Constantinople 1235
References
External links
The Latin Occupation in the Greek Lands The Latin Empire, from the Foundation of the Hellenic World
1203
Constantinople 1203
Category:1200s in the Byzantine Empire
Category:Conflicts in 1203
Constantinople 1203
Category:Amphibious operations
Category:1203 in Europe | wikipedia |
frequently problems arise in science which involve both additive and multiplicative noise .
the first type is relatively easy to handle with the help of the central limit theorem .
the situation changes dramatically with the appearance of multiplicative noise .
famous examples are the anderson localization , turbulence , and the kicked quantum rotator among others . in this
field results of an importance comparable to the central limit theorem are still lacking .
moreover , the approaches are in general numerical ones and analytical tools are the rare exception .
we present such an analytic approach which permits to deal in great generality with processes involving multiplicative and additive noise even in the limit of strong disorder . in this paper
we apply the formalism to the famous anderson localization in a two - dimensional ( 2-d ) disordered system which is one of the paradigms of solid state theory .
the quantum mechanical consequences of disorder in solids have first been revealed by anderson @xcite .
the anderson model provides a standard framework for discussing the electronic properties of disordered systems , see reviews @xcite .
the nature of electronic states in the anderson model depends strongly on the spatial dimension @xmath0 .
it has been shown rigorously that in one dimension ( 1-d ) all states are localized at any level of disorder @xcite .
the shape of these localized wave functions is characterized by an asymptotic exponential decay described by the lyapunov exponent @xmath1 .
the most important results for dimensions higher than one follow from the famous scaling theory of localization @xcite , which assumes a single scaling parameter for the dimensionless conductance @xmath2 or , equivalently , the localization length @xmath3 .
the conclusion of the scaling theory is that for @xmath4 all states are localized at any level of disorder , while a delocalization ( metal - insulator ) transition occurs for @xmath5 if the disorder is sufficiently strong .
a detailed review of the scaling theory for disordered systems can be found in @xcite .
the 2-d case still presents a problem , since there is no exact analytical solution to the anderson problem , and all numerical results published so far rely on finite - size scaling @xcite .
recent studies @xcite have questioned the validity of the single parameter scaling theory , including the existence of a finite asymptotic localization length for @xmath6 .
additional boost of interest in the @xmath7 anderson model has been triggered by experimental observations of kravchenko et al .
@xcite of a metal - insulator transition in thin semiconductor films , which contradicts the conventional scaling theory .
moreover , recent experiments of ilani et al .
@xcite can be interpreted in terms of the coexistence of localized and delocalized states .
these experiments are still being discussed controversially .
the experimental reality is certainly more complex than the simple tight - binding schemes used in the theoretical treatment so far and in particular the electronic iteractions could play a role in the above mentioned experimental situations .
but nevertheless these results add doubts to the status of the localization theory in 2-d . before embarking on computational schemes beyond the tight - binding approach , which necessarily lead to more restricted system sizes and other approximations
, it appears advisable to try to solve as rigourously as possible the problem in the tight - binding scheme . in the present controversial situation
the first step in resolving the conflict is thus in our opinion to consider exact results that do not rely on the scaling theory or small parameter expansions .
the starting point for the method presented in this paper is found in the work of molinari @xcite , in which the anderson problem for the 1-d system is dealt with as a statistical stability problem for the solutions @xmath8 of the tight binding hamiltonian in a semi - infinite system , @xmath9 .
it was shown in ref .
@xcite that the equations for the statistical moments of the type @xmath10 can be obtained analytically ( explicit solutions are given for @xmath11 ) , which enabled the author to derive exact generalized lyapunov exponents .
we will show in the following that this approach can be further generalized for systems of higher spatial dimensions .
but it turns out to be unavoidable to change again the mathematical tools for the treatment . in the present investigation
we use both for the 1-d and the 2-d case the tool of signal theory abundantly used in electrical engineering , see e.g.@xcite .
the basic idea in applying signal theory to the problem of anderson localization is to interpret certain moments of the wave function as signals .
there is then in signal theory a qualitative difference between localized and extended states : the first ones correspond to unbounded signals and the latter ones to bounded signals . in the case of a metal - insulator transition extended states ( bounded signals )
transform into localized states ( unbounded signals ) .
signal theory shows that it is possible in this case to find a function ( the system function or filter ) , which is responsible for this transformation .
the advantage of working with filters instead of the signals themselves lies in the fact that the filters do not depend on initial conditions in contrast to the signals .
the existence of this transformation in a certain region of disorder and energy simply means that the filter looses its stability in this region .
the meaning of an unstable filter is defined by a specific pole diagram in the complex plane .
these poles also define a quantitative measure of localization .
thus it is possible here to determine the socalled generalized lyapunov exponents as a function of disorder and energy . the outline of the present article is as follows . in chapter 2
we treat the 1-d case in detail describing also essential elements of signal theory .
the theory for the 2-d problem is presented in chapter 3 and the results are given in chapter 4 . in the latter chapter also
the implications of the present approach for perturbation theory , the order of the phase transition and the problem of self - averaging is discussed as well as numerical scaling .
we start for pedagogical and methodical reasons with the treatment of the 1-d case .
the aim of this section is to apply mathematical tools which are new in the field of anderson localization but well - known from other fields and which may and do in fact prove useful also for the higher dimensional cases .
we start from the hamiltonian of the standard 1-d anderson model in the tight - binding representation @xmath12,\ ] ] where @xmath13 is the hopping matrix element ( units with t=1 are used below ) and the @xmath14 are the on - site potentials which are random variables to simulate the disorder .
the @xmath15 are independently and identically distributed with existing first two moments , @xmath16 and @xmath17 .
this model is well investigated @xcite and it is known that for any degree of disorder the eigenfunctions become localized .
this in turn means that @xmath18 with @xmath19 is growing exponentially in the mean on a semi - infinite chain where the rate of growth is described by the lyapunov exponent . in the one - dimensional case
one can compute the lyapunov exponent by different methods and under different assumptions @xcite or numerically by means of the transfer matrix method which results in solving a recurrence equation @xcite .
the disadvantage of these analytical methods is that they can not be easily extended to the 2-d and 3-d cases . in this paper
we want to show that one can construct an approach which is able to handle all cases from a universal point of view .
it is well - known that the two - point boundary problem for a finite difference analog to the stationary schrdinger equation with homogeneous boundary conditions can be reduced to a cauchy problem with the one - side ( initial ) condition @xcite @xmath20 due to the linearity of the equation the non - zero value of @xmath21 serves only as a normalization parameter .
the asymptotic behaviour of the solution is completely determined by the energy @xmath22 and the level of disorder @xmath23 .
the presence of a boundary permits one to rewrite the schrdinger equation @xmath24 in the form of a recursion relation for the grid amplitude of the wave function @xmath25 ( @xmath26 ) : @xmath27 statistical correlations in this equation are separated : it is easy to see that in a formal solution of the recursion relation the amplitude @xmath28 depends only on the random variables @xmath29 with @xmath30 , which is the causality principle
. this observation has been extensively used by molinari@xcite in the solution for the 1-d case .
we emphasize that this property is fundamental as a key for obtaining an exact solution to the anderson problem for all dimensions .
note that both amplitudes @xmath8 and @xmath31 on the r.h.s . of eq .
( [ recursion ] ) are statistically independent of @xmath32 . the equation for the first moment of the random variable @xmath8 does not include the parameter @xmath33 : @xmath34 the ansatz @xmath35 results in the @xmath36 which satisfy the equation @xmath37 .
energies with @xmath38 , where @xmath39 and @xmath40 , obviously coincide with the band of delocalized states in a perfect chain ( @xmath41 ) .
a bounded asymptotical behaviour of the first moment at any level of disorder indicates that there are always physical solutions inside the band @xmath38 .
further information about the character of these states ( localized / delocalized ) can be gained by considering the other moments . for one - dimensional models with random potential
the eigenstates are always exponentially localized @xcite .
the natural quantities to investigate is therefore the lyapunov exponent @xmath42 @xmath43 the generalized exponents have been studied extensively by pendry et al .
( see ref . @xcite and references given there ) , in a systematic approach based on the symmetric group .
the method involves the construction of a generalized transfer matrix by means of direct products of the transfer matrices , followed by a reduction of the matrix size .
this generalized transfer matrix produces the average values of the required power of the quantity under consideration .
the concept of lyapunov exponent @xmath1 and the corresponding localization length @xmath44 describe a statistical stability of solutions of the tight - binding equations .
anderson localization as a metal - insulator transition is a typical critical phenomenon . to determine the phase - diagram of the system we need only make use of the qualitative aspect of the lyapunov exponent .
two phases differ qualitatively : @xmath45 for conducting states ( metallic phase ) and @xmath46 for localized states ( insulating phase ) .
the lyapunov exponent @xmath1 is a typical order parameter @xcite .
it is useful to check whether this kind of relation is valid for other systems like ferromagnets and ferroelectrics too . here
the order parameters are the magnetization @xmath47 and the polarization @xmath48 , respectively . at high temperatures and zero external field
these values are @xmath49 ( paramagnetic or paraelectric phase ) . at lower temperatures , however ,
spontaneous magnetization and polarization arise , @xmath50 .
the order parameter is zero for one phase and becomes nonzero for the other phase .
it is well - known that there is no unambiguous definition of an order parameter @xcite .
this holds also in our case , many different definitions are possible ( see e.g. ref .
@xcite and literature cited there ) .
every exact lyapunov exponent either via the log - definition ( @xmath42 ) or via the @xmath51-definition ( @xmath52 ) gives this property .
this permits us to consider a transition from the quality @xmath45 to the quality @xmath46 as a critical point , where all moments @xmath53 diverge for @xmath54 simultaneously .
if on the other hand we are interested in the values themselves of the lyapunov exponents @xmath55 , they always depend on the definition .
if one prefers a particular definition , this can only be by agreement and always remains quite arbitrary . in the 1-d case
we find the metallic phase ( @xmath56 ) only for @xmath41 ; even for infinitesimally small disorder one has @xmath57 and only the insulating phase exists .
the critical point is therefore @xmath58 independently of the value of the energy @xmath22 , and the phase - diagram is trivial .
this situation is typical for a critical phenomenon in a 1-d system with short range interaction @xcite : all 1-d systems ( e.g. 1-d ising - model ) do not possess a true phase transition at a finite value of the parameter ( temperature in the ising model or disorder @xmath23 in the anderson model ) ; one of the phases exists only at a point .
one also says @xcite , that 1-d systems do not possess a phase transition .
the advantage of the new @xmath51-definition rests in the possibility to play with the parameter @xmath51 which gives a new degree of freedom . in quantum theory
there are many examples , where a problem is insoluble in the schrdinger picture , but looks rather simple in the heisenberg picture .
the same holds for representations in coordinate or momentum space .
it is always useful to transform the mathematics in such a way that the problem becomes soluble . and nothing else is done here . for @xmath42 ( log - definition )
the problem remains analytically insoluble .
molinari @xcite was the first to show that with a generalisation of the definition , and for special values of @xmath59 , a simple analytical ( algebraic ) investigation becomes possible .
molinari@xcite has not only considered a standard definition via `` the log of the wave function '' i.e. @xmath42 , but also a set of so - called generalized lyapunov exponents @xmath60 , @xmath61 ( @xmath62 for the square of the wave function ) . in general
all the @xmath60 are quite different parameters .
however , it is important that a transition from the quality @xmath45 to the quality @xmath46 is simultaneous , all @xmath63 for @xmath41 and @xmath64 for a disordered system .
as has already been established @xcite , in the limit of small disorder different definitions of the lyapunov exponent or localization length give values differing only by an integer factor .
this property is again a signature for a critical phenomenon . in the vicinity of the critical point @xmath58 as common for all critical phenomena and only one scale dominates .
thus molinari has shown that for the 1-d anderson problem all @xmath65 for @xmath66 ( this is proven for @xmath67 ) , where @xmath68 is taken from other investigations@xcite , the only difference being the numerical cofactor .
this means that even in 1-d there are other quantities besides the logarithm of the wave function which can be used for the analysis . in order to obtain the phase diagram
it is ( based on the above discussion ) sufficient to choose a particular and convenient value of the parameter @xmath51 , e.g. @xmath69 , the second moments .
it is shown in ref .
@xcite that the calculation of the higher moments , @xmath70 with @xmath71 , is important for determining the shape of the distribution of @xmath72 , but at the same time the higher moments of the on - site potentials beyond the second one must be considered .
we will restrict ourselves here to the pair moments only .
then the initial full stochastic problem eq .
( [ recursion ] ) can be mapped onto an exactly solvable algebraic problem , in which the random potentials are characterized by a single parameter @xmath23 .
two points should be mentioned : ( i ) we are at present not interested in the shape of the distribution which is influenced by the higher moments of the on - site potentials but in the problem of localization ( phase - diagram ) ; ( ii ) in the analysis of the moments of the amplitudes the localization of states finds its expression in the simultaneous divergence of the even moments for @xmath73 .
because the second moment depends only on the parameter @xmath23 this means that the critical properties are completely determined by @xmath23 .
we are interested in the mean behavior of @xmath74 which follows from eq .
( [ recursion ] ) as : @xmath75 ^ 2 \rangle \nonumber \\ = ( e^2 + \sigma^2 ) \langle \psi_n^2 \rangle - 2 e \langle \psi_n \psi_{n-1 } \rangle + \langle \psi_{n-1}^2 \rangle.\end{aligned}\ ] ] in the derivation of eq .
( [ secondmoment_e2 ] ) the mean of the product of uncorrelated quantities was replaced by the product of the means .
the resulting equation is open ended , but the new type of the means @xmath76 can be easily calculated : @xmath77 \psi_{n-1 } \rangle \nonumber \\&= & e \langle \psi_{n-1}^2 \rangle - \langle \psi_{n-1 } \psi_{n-2 } \rangle.\end{aligned}\ ] ] let us rewrite these equations using @xmath78 and @xmath79 : @xmath80 the initial conditions are : @xmath81 let us summarize the intermediate results up to this point .
the causality principle has led to a set of linear algebraic equations for the second moments of the random field instead of an infinite hierarchy of equations that couple the second moments with the third ones etc .
the set of equations is closed , but it does not include all possible second moments of the type @xmath82 ( this fact is irrelevant in the search for localization criteria ) . at this level
the on - site potentials are also characterized by a single second moment @xmath83 only , which implies that the shape of the distribution does not matter for localization .
information on higher moments is a crucial step for other models , e.g. , in turbulence and econophysics because the third and the fourth moments are linked to skewness and kurtosis of the distribution which are interesting features in these fields .
equations for the higher moments can be easily constructed using the same causality property@xcite , but in the treatment of the anderson problem we restrict ourselves to the second moment only .
the set of equations is exact in the sense that no additional approximations were made in its derivation .
therefore , we conclude that at the given point the stochastic part of the solution to the anderson problem is completed and one has to deal further only with a purely algebraic problem .
the set of equations ( [ relations ] ) , ( [ relations2 ] ) can be solved by different methods of linear algebra .
we employ first a simple matrix technique .
the eqs.([relations ] ) , ( [ relations2 ] ) can be rewritten in the form @xmath84 where the vector @xmath85 and the transfer matrix @xmath86 are respectively @xmath87 initial conditions transform into @xmath88 .
an explicit formula for @xmath85 is derived by diagonalizing the transfer matrix @xmath86 .
the characteristic equation of the eigenvalue problem for the @xmath86 matrix is @xmath89 with function @xmath90 .
the solution of the cubic characteristic equation ( [ chareq ] ) can be given explicitly in radicals ( cardan s formula ) .
corresponding expressions are known and not presented here .
it is significant that one of the eigenvalues ( let it be @xmath91 ) is always real and @xmath92 .
other solutions , @xmath93 and @xmath94 , are either complex conjugate to each other or both real and satisfy @xmath95 . these properties result from the fact that the coefficients @xmath96 and @xmath83 are non - negative . the solution of eq .
( [ matform ] ) reads as follows : @xmath97 where @xmath98 is a diagonal matrix containing the n - th power of @xmath99 and @xmath100 is the eigenvector matrix .
the resulting exact formula for @xmath101 is @xmath102 thus we have the full algebraic solution for any energy @xmath22 and any degree of disorder @xmath103 . from the functional form of the eq .
( [ x ] ) one can see that the roots of eq .
( [ chareq ] ) , @xmath99 , give us the lyapunov exponents @xmath1 of the problem , @xmath104 , so the judgement on a localization transition can be done immediately after arriving at eq .
( [ chareq ] ) .
electronic states satisfying the inequality @xmath105 correspond to localization .
an alternative solution makes use of the so - called z - transform .
this is used mainly in electrical engineering for discrete - time systems and we suggest as publicly available source @xcite .
the z - transform of the quantities @xmath101 and @xmath106 to functions @xmath107 , @xmath108 is defined by @xmath109 the inverse z - transform is quite generally defined via countour integrals in the complex plane @xmath110 we further on need the following properties : for the z - transform @xmath111 and for the inverse z - transform @xmath112 in this way eqs .
( [ xy ] ) and ( [ shift ] ) translate eqs .
( [ relations ] ) , ( [ relations2 ] ) into a system of two coupled linear equations for the two unknowns @xmath113 and @xmath114
@xmath115 this is easily solved for @xmath107 @xmath116 where the function @xmath117 is defined above .
the inverse z - transform gives us again eq.([x ] ) .
it is easy to see that the solution of the characteristic equation ( [ chareq ] ) for the transfer matrix is equivalent to the determination of the poles of the @xmath107 function .
the eigenvalues @xmath99 , i.e. the poles , determine according to eq . (
[ lambda ] ) the asymptotic behaviour of the solution @xmath101 for @xmath118 .
( this is a simplified example for the general relation ) .
let us start with the following definitions .
let @xmath119 describe an ideal system ( @xmath120 for @xmath121 ) .
this function is independent of the parameter @xmath23 . for @xmath122 @xmath123 with @xmath124}{\mathcal{d}(z)}.\end{aligned}\ ] ]
note that the boundary conditions ( parameter @xmath21 ) influence only the function @xmath125 .
the function @xmath126 for @xmath41 .
( [ xh ] ) possesses quite a remarkable structure which is better interpreted in the context of signal theory @xcite , which makes intensive use of the z - transform .
let us define the system input as @xmath125 ( it characterizes the ideal system ) , the system output as @xmath107 ( the disordered system ) , then the function @xmath127 is the system function or filter .
the inverse z - transform gives @xcite
signal theory is not very crucial for the @xmath129 case , because the solution , eq.([xz ] ) , looks very simple and the inverse z - transform is always possible . for @xmath130
, however , the use of signal theory is exceedingly important because the corresponding solution @xmath107 can be a very complicated function and an inverse transform may be impossible to find . in the present case it is ,
however , completely sufficient to investigate the analytic properties of the filter function @xmath127 , i.e. the poles @xmath131 , because the poles determine uniquely the properties of the system .
the essential idea is very simple . in the band
@xmath132 all wave amplitudes ( and input signals @xmath133 ) are bounded .
output signals @xmath101 are unbounded only under the condition that the filter @xmath134 is unbounded for @xmath54 .
this property depends on the position of the poles @xmath99 in the function @xmath127 .
it is known @xcite that the filter @xmath127 can be characterized by a pole - zero diagram which is a plot of the locations of the poles @xmath99 and zeros in the complex z - plane . since the signals @xmath133 and @xmath101 are real
, @xmath127 will have poles and zeros that are either on the real axis , or come in conjugate pairs .
for the inverse z - transform @xmath135 one has to know the region of convergence ( roc ) . as follows from physical reasons we are interested only in causal filters ( @xmath136 for @xmath137 ) that have always rocs outside a circle that intersects the pole with @xmath138 .
a causal filter is stable ( bounded input yields a bounded output ) if the unit circle @xmath139 is in the roc . to give an example .
we start the analysis of the solution with the case of the ideal system , @xmath41 .
all solutions in the band @xmath140 ( defined as a region with asymptotically finite first moment ) are delocalized with @xmath141 , @xmath142 , where @xmath143 .
the inverse z - transform gives us @xmath144 . in this case the filter @xmath126 and the roc of this filter is the full commplex z - plane .
the roc includes the unit circle , the filter @xmath127 is thus stable , which means the delocalization of all states . for @xmath145
we always have @xmath146 .
the roc corresponds to the region @xmath147 , and the unit circle @xmath139 lies outside the roc .
a filter @xmath127 is unstable , in other words , this is simply the localization of all states .
consider a 2-d lattice with one boundary .
the layers of this system are enumerated by an index @xmath148 starting from the boundary , and the position of an arbitrary lattice site in a particular layer is characterized by an integer @xmath149 .
the presence of a boundary permits one to rewrite the schrdinger equation @xmath150 in the form of a recursion relation for the grid amplitude of the wave function @xmath151 ( @xmath152 ) : @xmath153 for the sake of a compact notation an operator @xmath154 is introduced which acts on the index @xmath155 according to the equation @xmath156 the lattice constant and the hopping matrix element are set equal to unity .
the on - site potentials @xmath157 are independently and identically distributed with existing first two moments , @xmath158 and @xmath159 .
eq.([recursion d ] ) is solved with an initial condition @xmath160 it turns out to be convenient to consider the index @xmath161 not as a spatial coordinate , but as discrete time
. then eq .
( [ recursion d ] ) describes the time evolution of a @xmath162 dimensional system .
it is easy to see that in a formal solution of this recursion relation the amplitude @xmath163 depends only on the random variables @xmath164 with @xmath165 ( causality )
. we encounter a very important feature in eq .
( [ recursion d ] ) : grid amplitudes on the r.h.s .
are statistically independent with respect to @xmath166 .
we are going to generalize further the result of ref .
@xcite that the set of equations for a certain combination of pair moments is self - contained and can be solved analytically .
the divergence of the moments , which is caused by the localization , is the basis for the existence of lyapunov exponents for the @xmath161-direction , which is generally a functional @xmath167 $ ] of the field @xmath168 .
the well - known idea to define the fundamental lyapunov exponent for the problem of anderson localization as a minimal one @xmath169 \}$ ] , is an algorithm but not a general definition , because a fundamental quantity is independent of the initial condition .
the proper definition is possible in the framework of signal theory @xcite .
we define the solutions of the equations for the second moments with disorder ( @xmath170 and without it ( @xmath41 ) as @xmath171 ( system output ) and @xmath172 ( system input ) . because these equations are linear
, there exist an abstract linear operator @xmath173 ( system function or filter ) , which transforms one solution into the other one , @xmath174 .
it is important that the initial conditions @xmath168 only determine the signals , the filter on the other hand is a function of the disorder @xmath23 only .
divergence of the moments ( unbounded output for bounded input ) simply means that the filter is unstable@xcite .
this approach utilizing the concept of the system function is a general and abstract description of the problem of localization . instead of analyzing the signals
@xmath171 which have restricted physical meaning in the present context because of the chosen normalization we study the filter @xmath173 with properties described by generalized lyapunov exponents
. then e.g. delocalized states ( bounded output ) are obtained by transforming the physical solutions inside the band @xmath175 ( bounded input ) provided that the filter @xmath173 is stable .
the transformation @xmath174 is not only valid for individual signals , but also for linear combinations of these signals .
let us regard an ensemble of initial conditions in eq .
( [ rand d ] ) which is obtained by trivial translation in @xmath155-space , @xmath176 .
translation generates _ physically _ equivalent signals with identical lyapunov exponents @xmath167 $ ] .
a linear combination of these signals also has this same value @xmath167 $ ] .
we construct a linear combination from all such signals with equal weights ( this corresponds simply to an average @xmath177 over all possible translations @xmath178 ) .
we here start from the basic fact that the determination of the phase - diagram ( the fundamental topic of the paper ) requires only the lyapunov exponents .
signals @xmath171 are only a means to arrive there .
consequently it is possible to make certain operations with the signals , but under the strict condition that these operations have no influence on the lyapunov exponents @xmath167 $ ] .
next we define a full averaging over random potentials and over the ensemble of translations in @xmath155-space .
this latter averaging correponds to the construction of the linear combinations discussed above .
full averaging restores the translational invariance along the @xmath179axis , which appears e.g. in @xmath179independent diagonal elements , @xmath180 , in the set of the second moments of the type @xmath181 and @xmath182 .
we further on regard @xmath101 as a one - dimensional signal .
if we succeed to solve the equations for @xmath101 then we also find not only the lyapunov exponent @xmath167 $ ] but simultaneously the projection of the abstract operator on the one - dimensional space , @xmath183 , because for one - dimensional signals the convolution property eq.([x_n ] ) exists @xcite .
the filter @xmath134 possesses the same fundamental information as the abstract filter @xmath173 and can easily be analyzed , because signal theory provides a definite mathematical language for this aim ( see above ) .
we emphasize here that we do not reduce the problem to a one - dimensional one ; it remains two - dimensional .
this is quite apparent from the equations below which contain two spatial variables , @xmath161 and @xmath184 , the distance along the m - axis . after the full averaging as defined above the moment @xmath185 ( where @xmath186 ) transforms the initial condition by replacing the field @xmath187 by its property correlation function @xmath188 ( it is assumed that the field itself and its correlation function are finite ) .
the initial condition for @xmath101 reads as @xmath189 .
non - diagonal elements , @xmath190 , depend on the difference @xmath191 . in the following
we will need only three types of moments @xmath192 with @xmath193 , @xmath194 .
let us denote them by @xmath195 , @xmath196 , and @xmath197 : @xmath198 the corresponding initial conditions are @xmath199 ; @xmath200 ; and @xmath201 .
since the definition of @xmath202 for @xmath203 coincides with @xmath101 , we have the boundary condition @xmath204 the moments @xmath205 can be calculated directly from the definition , eqs.([ma])-([mc ] ) .
let us consider e.g. @xmath206 . in order to calculate the average , the first factor , @xmath163 or @xmath207 ,
is expressed from the main relation eq .
( [ recursion d ] ) , while the second factor , @xmath208 or @xmath209 , is left unchanged .
analogously , the equation for the moments @xmath202 and @xmath210 are obtained .
we have ( @xmath211 ) @xmath212 the operator @xmath154 is introduced in eq.([l ] ) which acts on the index @xmath213 according to the equation @xmath214 in the derivation of eqs .
( [ ma1])-([mc1 ] ) the mean of the product of uncorrelated quantities was replaced by the product of the means .
the basic equation for the variable @xmath101 is obtained by squaring both sides of eq .
( [ recursion d ] ) and averaging over the ensemble .
one gets @xmath215 the expression for @xmath216 includes the seconds moments of the type @xmath217,@xmath218 introduced earlier ( moments @xmath219 are obviously absent ) . in the following derivations we utilize two types of algebraic transforms : the z - transform @xcite @xmath220 and the discrete fourier
transform @xmath221 z - transform of the eqs .
( [ ma1])-([mc1 ] ) gives @xmath222 for boundary condition , eq.([boundary ] ) , we have @xmath223 after simplification of the equation for the moment @xmath224 we have eq.([mb2 ] ) and new equation for moment @xmath225 : @xmath226 it turns out to be convenient to lift the constraint @xmath227 in the form : @xmath228 this equation requires expressing the parameter @xmath229 in a self - consistent way via the boundary condition , eq.([a0 ] ) . after an additional fourier
transform one gets @xmath230 here @xmath231 is the fourier transform of the operator @xmath232 .
z - transform of the basic equation ( [ basic ] ) gives @xmath233 the function @xmath234 can be represented with the help of the fourier transform @xmath235 after simplification of eq.([chi1 ] ) ( we use here eqs.([ma5]),([mb5 ] ) ) one gets @xmath236 or @xmath237 because for the boundary condition , eq.([a0 ] ) , we have @xmath238 > from eq.([basic z ] ) together with eq.([chi3 ] ) we obtain @xmath239 it is apparent , that the moment @xmath240 as a solution of the eqs .
( [ ma5]),([mb5 ] ) depends on the parameter @xmath229 .
the parameter @xmath229 in turn is determined by @xmath113 according to eq .
( [ recurs3 ] ) .
one gets @xmath241 the equation for the signal @xmath113 is obtained in a self - consistent way from eq.([iden ] ) .
then we finally obtain eq.([xh ] ) , where @xmath242 note that the boundary conditions ( field @xmath168 or correlation function @xmath188 ) influence only the function @xmath125 which is independent of the parameter @xmath23 and describes an ideal system , @xmath126 for @xmath41 .
this point needs some comments .
we have already stated that the initial conditions @xmath168 only determine the signals , the filter is a fundamental function of the disorder @xmath23 only .
this fact has a very simple and important logical consequence .
a filter @xmath127 is defined via the relation between input and output signals , eq.([xh ] ) .
it is therefore completely sufficient to determine only once this relation e.g. for a particular boundary condition , @xmath168 , where the calculation of input and output signals is trivial .
the simplest case is @xmath243 . for this condition
our system has ( after averaging over random potentials ) the translational invariance along the @xmath179axis and we need not do a further averaging over the ensemble of translations in @xmath155-space . for @xmath244
we get back to eq.([h ] ) .
the corresponding input signal @xmath125 follows from eq.([x0 ] ) , if one makes use of the simple relation @xmath245 .
it is appropriate to return to the topic of averaging over the ensemble of translations in @xmath155-space and the full averaging , section [ signal ] .
we clearly see now that this procedure is not at all obligatory .
one could avoid it altogether .
we have , however , used this procedure for pedagogical reasons to demonstrate clearly that the mentioned property of the filter ( the filter is a function of the disorder @xmath23 only ) really exists and is independent of the initial conditions .
for the sake of illustration we restrict ourselves first to the case of the band center @xmath246 . evaluating integrals by standard methods ( contour integrals )
one gets : @xmath247 where generally the complex parameter @xmath248 is defined in the upper half - plane , @xmath249 .
changing the complex variable @xmath250 to the parameter @xmath251 corresponds to the conformal mapping of the inner part ( @xmath252 , transform @xmath253 ) or the outer part ( @xmath254 , transform @xmath255 ) of the circle onto the upper half - plane , the circle itself maps onto the interval @xmath256 $ ] .
note also that if @xmath127 has complex conjugate poles , then on the upper @xmath251 half - plane they differ only by the sign of @xmath257 . to avoid complicated notations , we seek for poles in the sector @xmath258 and double their number if we find any .
the inverse function @xmath259 is double - valued , it has two single - valued branches that map the selected @xmath251 sector onto either the inner part of the half - circle ( @xmath252 , @xmath260 sign in the formula ) or the half - plane with the half - circle excluded ( @xmath254 , @xmath261 sign in the formula ) .
it is also easy to derive that @xmath262 substituting ( [ int ] ) and ( [ gpm ] ) into ( [ h ] ) gives the system function @xmath263 or @xmath264 we see that the filter @xmath127 is a non - analytic function of the complex variable @xmath250 .
the unit circle @xmath139 divides the complex plane into two analytic domains : the interior and exterior of the unit circle .
the inverse z - transform is quite generally defined via countour integrals in the complex plane , eq.([count ] ) , and this definition is only possible in an analytic domain . in this way in the formal analysis of the problem
multiple solutions result .
let us consider first the solution @xmath265 which is formally defined in the region @xmath254 .
the function @xmath265 has two poles @xmath266 and @xmath267 , where @xmath104 , @xmath268 and @xmath269 the first pole lies inside the region of definition and the second one is located outside of it ( virtual pole ) .
however , for the inverse z - transform this fact is irrelevant .
note also that in the case of general @xmath22 the pole @xmath91 which lies on the real axis and which can be found from the parametric representation , eq.([zw ] ) , in the @xmath251 sector defined earlier , has its virtual counterpart @xmath270 .
for @xmath271 the roc for a causal filter is given by the inequality @xmath272 .
hence , the unit circle does not belong to the roc , and therefore the filter @xmath273 is unstable .
the inverse z - transform gives @xmath274 which is an exponentially growing function .
this result can be generalized for all @xmath22 values , however the expression for the function @xmath273 will be more complex .
therefore , the solution given by the system function @xmath265 always gives unbounded sequences @xmath101 , in full analogy with the solution of the one - dimensional problem @xcite .
the natural interpretation of this result is that states are localized .
the parameter @xmath1 is nothing else but the generalized lyapunov exponent @xcite , defined for the second moment of the random amplitudes .
therefore , the localization length is @xmath275 .
the case of the filter @xmath276 is a little more complicated .
the filter is formally defined in the region @xmath252 . for @xmath246 and @xmath277
the poles are found at @xmath278 and @xmath279 ( virtual pole ) with @xmath280 , @xmath281 .
a roc which is consistent with the causality restriction corresponds to the inequality @xmath282 and this lies outside the region of definition of the solution @xmath252 .
therefore , any physically feasible solution is absent .
however , for @xmath283 the poles lie on the unit circle @xmath284 , @xmath285 .
the critical value @xmath286 corresponds to the equation @xmath287 let us consider this problem as a limiting case of a modified problem in which the poles are shifted into the unit circle , @xmath288 and @xmath289 .
the casual filter has roc @xmath290 , however , the poles move onto the unit circle . in the literature on electrical engineering @xcite the filter that has a pole on the unit circle , but none outside it is called marginally stable
. marginally stable means there is a bounded input signal @xmath133 that will cause the output @xmath101 to oscillate forever .
the oscillations will not grow or decrease in amplitude .
the inverse z - transform gives @xmath291 i.e. a bounded oscillating function . evaluating the required integrals
one gets @xmath293 a similar analysis as above shows that the marginally stable filter exists for @xmath294 , where @xmath295 and the value of the energy is limited by @xmath296 . for either @xmath297 ( @xmath145 ) or @xmath298 ( @xmath299 ) a physical solution of this filter
is absent .
the critical value of @xmath300 follows again from eq.([hw ] ) .
we conclude that the system function @xmath276 exists in a well - defined region of energies @xmath22 and disorder @xmath23 .
it always gives bounded sequences @xmath101 which can be naturally interpreted as delocalized states .
marginal stability corresponds to the existence of quite irregular wave functions . the first solution @xmath273 is defined outside the unit circle and always exists .
the filter @xmath273 describes localized states and it is possible to connect its properties with the notion of the localization length . in the energy range @xmath301
the lyapunov exponent is a non - analytical function at zero disorder : @xmath302 , because without disorder all states here are extended ones , @xmath303 .
the second solution @xmath276 is defined inside the unit circle and does not always represent a solution which can be physically interpreted ( this is the mathematical consequence that the filter be causal ) .
the filter @xmath276 describes delocalized states .
we also note that if both solutions @xmath304 and @xmath305 for the system function exist simultaneously , they both give solutions @xmath101 of the initial problem that satisfy all boundary conditions . in this sense ,
a general solution of the problem is @xmath306 , where the parameter @xmath307 is left undefined by the averaging procedure ( this is natural for the problem with particular solutions of different asymptotic behavior ) .
such a solution @xmath134 may be interpreted as representing two phases , considering that @xmath304 determines the properties of the insulating state , but @xmath305 the metallic state .
therefore the metal - insulator transition should be looked at from the basis of first - order phase transition theory .
this opinion differs from the traditional point of view , which considers this transition as continuous ( second - order ) . for first order phase transitions
the coexistence of phases is a general property .
there exists for the present case an experimental result which is at least consistent with the present non - trivial result .
ilani et al.@xcite have studied the spatial structure at the metal - insulator transition in two dimensions .
they found @xcite : the measurement show that as we approach the transition from the metallic side , a new phase emerges that consists of weakly coupled fragments of the two - dimensional system .
these fragments consist of localized charge that coexists with the surrounding metallic phase . as the density is lowered into the insulating phase , the number of fragments increases on account of the disapearing metallic phase. the results of the present investigation - if it proves to be correct - have certain consequences for the validity of many theoretical tools used for the investigation of anderson localization in the past .
our comments do not exclude the possibility that better theroretical tools in the traditional approaches can be found , which may better master the situation .
our comments in the subsequent paragraphs are intended to highlight the differences between the present and previous approaches and the basic problems encountered by previous approaches - all this under the premise that the present analytical theory is proven to be correct .
our first comment refers to the anderson localization as a critical phenomenon .
one has always believed that all states in a 1-d and 2-d systems are localized for infinitesimal disorder , whereas in 3-d a metal - insulator transition occurs . from our studies it , however , emerges that a metal - insulator transition occurs in 2-d system . because localization as a metal - insulator transition is a typical critical phenomenon , the parameters @xmath1 and @xmath44 are quite generally not analytical functions neither in the energy nor in the disorder parameter .
it is well - known that perturbation theory is not a suitable method for describing critical phenomena .
e.g. for @xmath246 and @xmath66 one has from eq.([gam ] ) @xmath308 . from this
follows that the function @xmath1 can not be represented as a series in powers of @xmath83 .
i.e. perturbation theory is not applicable to the anderson problem in 2-d ( as it is neither for other critical phenomena @xcite ) : the corresponding series expansions tend to diverge .
this should be quite generally valid ; that is why all estimations which result from first order perturbation theory ( e.g. for the mean free path ) are physically extremely doubtful , because they are the first term of a divergent series . in the case of 1-d systems
it is known@xcite that in the limit of small disorder all lyapunov exponents @xmath309 . here
perturbation theory is completely acceptable , because 1-d systems do not show a phase transition @xcite .
these results of perturbation theory tend , however , to become inapplicable for higher spatial dimensions . in a similar vein
it can be stated that results for the 1-d ising - model have no relevance for the 2-d model ( onsager solution ) @xcite .
physics of disorder associates experimental quantities with quantities obtained by averaging over random potentials ( statistical ensemble of macroscopically different systems ) .
this approach is well - known @xcite .
one expects that , although the results of measurement of this physical quantity are dependent on the realization of disorder , the statistical fluctuations of the result are small .
one assumes that physical quantities are only those which do not fluctuate within the statistical ensemble in the thermodynamic limit ( length of system @xmath310 ) .
one defines these as self - averaging quantities .
it is also known that in connection with localization this self - averaging property is not trivially fulfilled , e.g. the transport properties of the disordered systems are in general not self - averaging@xcite . here
the fluctuations are much larger than expected or they even diverge in the thermodynamic limit .
even though the existence of non - self - averaging quantities is known , the theory of the physics of disorder starts from the assumption that certain quantities will still be self - averaging and physical .
however , one has to the authors knowledge never analyzed the conditions for the validity of this statement from the point of view of phase transition theory . in a system without phase transitions one can prove the existence of certain self - averaging quantities .
their existence is also possible if there is a second order phase transition . here in the thermodynamic limit
there exists only one or the other phase , a coexistence of phases is impossible by principle . in each phase there
do exist certain average values which have physical relevance .
strong fluctuations are observed only as usual in the vicinity of a critical point . in a system with a first order phase transition one
finds certain parameter values for which two phases do coexist ; i.e. a macroscopic system is heterogeneous and consists of macroscopically homogeneous domains of the two phases . in this case a formal averaging over the statistical ensemble takes into consideration also an averaging over the phases , and the resulting averages have no physical meaning .
physically meaningful are only the properties of the pure homogeneous phases .
the trivial example in this respect is the coexistence of water and ice .
an average density of this system has no sense and depends on the relative fraction of the phases , whereas the density of pure water and pure ice are meaningful quantities .
formally systems with a first order phase transition do not possess self - averaging quantities .
the well - known idea @xcite , to analyze such non - self - averaging quantities via probability distribution functions or all of its moments , can not be realized in practice .
in the theory of phase transitions @xcite one has a general idea to treat such multi - component systems , but these exist only as approximations .
one writes down the equations for certain averages . if these equations possess a multiplicity of solutions one interprets the corresponding solutions as phases .
let us now consider the present solution of the anderson problem from this point of view .
it is well - known that the exact equations of statistical physics are always linear but form an infinite chain ( e.g. see the equations which form the basis of the bbgky theory ( bogoliubov , born , green , kirkwood , yvonne ) @xcite . via decoupling approximations which use multiplicative forms of distribution functions
( see e.g. the kirkwood approximation @xcite ) one derives from the insoluble infinite chain a finite set of equations which , however , are now nonlinear .
this latter property leads to the multiplicity of solutions and the possibility to describe the phase transition .
it remains , however , unclear in which way the original linear equations describe mathematically the phase transition .
the anderson localization problem is the extremely rare case where an analytic solution was found for the chain of equations . as a result one
can clearly see how mathematics produces a multiplicity of solutions in the form of non - analytic filter functions @xmath127 .
the z - transform lifts the phase degeneracy allowing one to study the properties of each phase independently .
particular solutions @xmath304 and @xmath305 can be naturally interpreted not as the result of full averaging over all realizations of random potentials , but as averaged over one of the two classes of filtered realizations . if a particular realization of random potentials for a given energy @xmath22 leads to unbounded sequences for all boundary conditions , we classify it as belonging to the first class .
otherwise the realization of random potentials belongs to the second class .
sorting of the realizations into two classes corresponds mathematically to an infinitely weak constraint on the on - site potentials , which are still characterized in the equations by a single parameter @xmath23 .
therefore the equations for the second moments given above will describe both one - phase solutions with full averaging ( if the metallic phase is impossible ) and each phase of the two - phase solution separately with partial averaging . for known technical reasons one treats d - dimensional systems as quasi - one - dimensional ones @xcite ; this is e.g. done for the recursive calculation of the lyapunov exponents .
one starts with a system of the size @xmath311 : it is infinite in the @xmath312direction and the length @xmath313 in the other directions is finite .
numerical scaling studies @xcite assume the scaling variable to be self - averaging .
a further crucial assumption is that there is one - parameter scale function .
one calculates the localization length @xmath314 as the average of the logarithm of the quantum mechanical transmission probability @xcite , and assumes that this quantity is self - averaging . for any finite length @xmath313
the localization length @xmath314 is finite too .
this fact is rather trivial .
every quasi - one - dimensional system is qualitatively similar to a true one - dimensional one .
because in the 1-d anderson model all states are localized , the same will hold for quasi - one - dimension systems .
it is known that a rigorous theoretical definition of the phases requires the investigation of the thermodynamic limit @xmath310 .
one assumes that in order to be extrapolate to infinite system size it is necessary to investigate the scaling behaviour of @xmath314@xcite .
it is possible to establish a scaling function @xmath315 that does not depend on the disorder .
the scaling parameter @xmath316 is a function of disorder .
this method yields complete localization in 2-d dimension , and an anderson transition in 3-d case . is the scaling parameter necessary to scale numerical data onto the same curve .
values of the disorder @xmath23 are indicated .
, width=302 ] one notices that the idea of numerical scaling has a weak point ; one starts from the assumption that self - averaging quantities exist .
the analytic solution presented in the present paper , section [ 2d ] , offers in principle the possibility to clarify the problems connected with the numerical scaling procedure .
the analytic equations treat from the very start a system in the thermodynamic limit ( @xmath317 ) , because the integer @xmath318 in eq.([schroedinger ] ) . a transition to a finite system ( @xmath319 ) in this context is rather trivial and corresponds simply to the transition from the fourier integral , eq.([ft ] ) to the fourier series .
thus we arrive from the filter - function in the form of eq.([h ] ) at another equation : @xmath320
the difference is large .
the filter ( [ h ] ) has a multiplicity of solutions : the unit circle @xmath139 divides the complex plane into two analytic domains . for a finite system one has only one solution , the unit circle @xmath139 does not play a role anymore .
the filter ( [ hl ] ) corresponds to only one phase , where all states are localized .
mathematically this means that between the possible poles @xmath131 of the function ( [ hl ] ) there always exist the pole @xmath321 , and the filter is unstable . if one defines the localization length as @xmath322 , where according to the definition by using the second moments @xmath323 , then this length is always finite .
the physical reason for this result is rather clear : in the @xmath161-direction the system remains infinite since the @xmath324-transform always `` feels '' the true asymptotic behavior .
fixing a finite size @xmath313 in the @xmath155-direction effectively renders the system a one - dimensional one at large scales , hence the corresponding behaviour ( full localization ) . from this point of view
, @xmath314 is essentially the crossover length form 2-d to 1-d behavior .
let us do now a typical scaling study for the localization length @xmath314 at the band centre , @xmath246 .
we have found that the scaling parameter @xmath316 is identical with the value @xmath44 , where @xmath325 and @xmath1 is defined in eq.([gam ] ) .
disregarding for the moment the fact that one commonly uses a different definition of the localization length @xmath314 via the log - definition , we arrive qualitatively at the same results as numerical scaling@xcite .
there exists a scaling function , fig.1 , which is typical for 2-d systems and whose behaviour one commonly interprets as complete localization in 2-d dimensions .
the corresponding scaling parameter is , however , identical with the localization length @xmath44 in the insulating phase .
i.e. numerical scaling is not capable to analyze a system consisting of two phases .
this approach to the problem with particular solutions of different asymptotic behaviour , @xmath326 or @xmath46 , always sees only one diverging solution ( @xmath46 ) .
the basic idea of the present work is to apply signal theory to the anderson localization problem .
we interpret certain moments of the wave function as signals .
there is then in signal theory a qualitative difference between localized and extended states : the first ones correspond to unbounded signals and the latter ones to bounded signals . in the case of a metal - insulator transition extended states ( bounded signals )
transform into localized states ( unbounded signals ) .
signal theory shows that it is possible in this case to find a function ( the system function or filter ) , which is responsible for this transformation .
the existence of this transformation in a certain region of disorder and energy simply means that the filter looses its stability in this region .
the meaning of an unstable filter is defined by a specific pole diagram in the complex plane .
these poles also define a quantitative measure of localization . thus it is possible here to determine the socalled generalized lyapunov exponents as a function of disorder and energy . for pedagogical reasons
we have analyzed in this paper first the 1-d case . here
no new results are obtained .
all states are localized for arbitrary disorder .
the aim of this section consists in showing to the uninitiated reader a possible alternative to the traditional mathematical tools of dealing with anderson localization and to interpret its content .
the power of the approach comes only to its full bearing when it proves possible to find analytically the filter function also for the 2-d case .
although the filter is quite in general defined by an integral , it is possible to give a representation in terms of radicals . as a consequence we have been able to find an exact analytical solution for the generalized lyapunov exponents for the well - known and notorious anderson problem in 2-d . in this way
the phase diagram is obtained .
the approach suggested in the present paper does not in any way represent the complete solution to the problem of anderson localization in 2-d .
the very important topic of the transport properties of disordered systems lies outside the presumed region of applicability of the method .
the results of the studies give us a few answers to existing questions but open up even more questions .
we have only considered the phase diagram of the system .
the theory permits us to ascertain to which class of problems anderson localization belongs . in the 1-d case
all states are localized for infinitesimally small disorder in complete agreement with the theoretical treatment of molinari @xcite . in the 2-d case
we have shown that in principle there is the possibility that the phase of delocalized states exists for a non - interacting electron system .
this phase has its proper existence region and it belongs to the marginal type of stability .
all states with energies @xmath327 are localized at arbitrarily weak disorder . for energies and disorder , where extended states may exist we find a coexistence of these localized and extended states .
thus the anderson transition should be regarded as a first order phase transition .
the argument of mott that extended and localized states can not be found at the same energy is probably not applicable in our case as the solutions for the two relevant filter functions do not mix .
this has to be worked out in detail in the future .
also the role of different disorder realizations has to be elaborated , which could be a source of the observed phenomena .
our findings can in principle explain the experimental results of kravchenko et al .
@xcite on films of a - si .
they are also in agreement with the experimental findings of ilani et al @xcite which showed the coexistence of phases .
although one has to be cautious in concluding from our results directly onto specific experimental situations our theory is the first one to be in accord with experiment for 2-d systems .
the qualitative diagnosis which we propose here is in several aspects different from the predictions of prevailing theories , scaling theory , mean field and perturbation theory .
it has to be stated here that much work still remains to be done both via the present approach as via other established approaches . 1
. the anderson problem belongs to the class of critical phenomena .
it is known from the scientific literature that in such a case one encounters in general a poor convergence behaviour of approximations @xcite , which in their basis contain a mean field approach . to cite an example : the exact solution of onsager for the 2-d ising model is in complete disagreement with the landau theory of phase transitions ( mean field theory ) @xcite .
all critical exponents differ in the two approaches .
yet there is at least a qualitative agreement between the two theories : the landau theory describes second order phase transitions and the exact onsager theory confirms this aspect .
2 . for the anderson problem the outlook on the theories
might also be far reaching , if our approach should prove to be correct .
all presently accepted theories derive here from the scaling idea which is in turn based on the assumption that the anderson transition belongs to the class of second order phase transitions .
this basic idea is up to now a hypothesis which can not be proved in the absence of the exact solution .
one has assumed that averaged or self - averaging quantities are always physical quantities .
and every theory had the direct aim to calculate such quantities .
our exact solution for the phase diagram , however , indicates that in this system the coexistence of phases is possible , i.e. that the anderson transition should be regarded as a phase transition of first order .
3 . for a phase transition of first order with a coexistence of phases there surely also exist self - averaging quantities , whose fluctuations are small .
the quantities , however , tend to be unphysical because the average over an ensemble includes an average over the phases . physically meaningful in this case
are only the properties of the pure phases .
consequently one requires a new idea to calculate the transport properties of the disordered systems .
we can at the present time only surmise that this future theory of transport properties will calculate the transport properties with the help of equations which have the property of a multiplicity of solutions
. this theory should also formulate in a new way the average over the ensemble of random potentials in order to arrive at the properties of the pure phases . | arxiv |
Dolon Nor ; , Doloon nuur, seven lakes; also: To-lun, Dolonnur, is a town and the county seat of Duolun County, Xilin Gol League in the Inner Mongolia Autonomous region, China. It is of historical importance because the remnants of Shangdu, the summer capital of Kublai Khan and the following Mongol emperors of the Yuan dynasty 13th and 14th century, are located some 28 kilometers 17 miles northwest of the modern town. Beginning in the 17th century, the Manchu emperors of the Qing dynasty developed the city as a religious center.
In the Encyclopædia Britannica Eleventh Edition 1911, the city is described as follows:
Another, longer description of the city is to be found in the remarkable writings of Évariste Huc 18131860, a Frenchman who stayed there in 1845 on his way to Lhasa which he reached after 18 months of travelling.
In 1933, the town was the object of fighting between the Japanese and their Manchukuoan puppet troops and the Chahar People's Anti-Japanese Army.
See also
Actions in Inner Mongolia 193336
References
Category:Populated places in Inner Mongolia | wikipedia |
Naruto 1. Broken Dreams!
**Los personajes De Sakura y Sasuke no me pertenecen, si no, los dos estarían juntos hace mucho, los personajes le pertenecen a: ******Masashi Kishimoto. **** **¡Disfruten!****
><strong>
* * *
><p><strong>Ahora te diré lo que he hecho por ti<strong>
** 50 mil lágrimas he llorado**
** Gritando, engañando y sangrando por ti**
** Y aun así tu no me escuchas**
_¿__Es normal que no te olvide?, creo de alguna forma estúpida y totalmente cierta que es completamente normal recordarte, pero ¿es normal no poderte odiar?, tú la persona que más me daño, pero aún así mi esperanza de vivir._
**No quiero tu mano esta vez**** me salvaré yo sola**
**Quizá me despertaré por una vez**
** Sin estar atormentada diariamente y derrotada por ti**
_Recuerdo cada momento que pasamos juntos, como compartíamos todo, como mi corazón se detenía solo al verte y volvía a latir cuando nuestras miradas se encontraban ¿Alguna Vez lo sentiste así?, y ahora al verte pasar mi mente juega conmigo y me reproduce cada momento que me fuiste rompiendo, cada vez que me odie e intente odiarte, pero nada resulto, sigo aquí atada a ti, ¿Recuerdas esas tardes Luego del colegio? ¿o cuando caminábamos solos del colegio a nuestras casas?, yo llevo esos recuerdos impregnados en la piel, algo eterno que me marcara por siempre, solo tú puedes borrar lo que dejaste en mí, pero eso es solo una ilusión, una ilusión que me rompe cada día, cada instante de mi corta vida._
**Justo cuando pensé que habría alcanzado el fondo**** Estoy muriendo otra vez**
_Cada canción, cada gesto me recuerda a ti, ¿Porque eres tan difícil de olvidar?, No logro comprender como todo lo que teníamos, se perdió de un momento a otro._
**Me estoy estrellando**
**Ahogándome en ti**
** Bajando para siempre**
**Tengo que abrirme paso**
** Me estoy estrellando **
_Lo que sentí al saber que iba a estar en tú mismo colegio fue una alegría profunda y más, cuando quede en tú mismo curso, nada de esto lo hice queriendo fue el destino que tenía ese plan para mí, aunque no creo en destino para mí fue una cadena de casualidades, tú parecías sorprendido, feliz__y a la vez enojado con esa noticia, yo, por mi parte, estaba feliz ¡Tendría un "amigo" sin esforzarme!, creí tan ilusamente que tú me ibas a proteger y a ayudar a crear amigos más fácilmente, ¡Mierda! que equivocada estaba ¿es que acaso tan poco te conocía? Tú, el macho alfa de tu manada, el que no tiene debilidades, popular, controlador, el que hacia todo lo que le daba la gana, ¿te ibas a doblegar por mí? , solo puedo culparme a mí por ser tan infantil, tan crédula._
**Confusa y conmovida por la verdad y las mentiras **
**Así que ya no sé lo que es real y lo que no**
**Siempre confundo los pensamientos en mi cabeza**
** Así que ya no puedo confiar en mi mism****a**
** Estoy muriendo otra vez**
_El tiempo pasó así, y tú te encargaste de que nadie se acercase a mí, creaste una barrera, con tus bromas y dolorosas –solo para mí- molestias, cada día iba hundiéndome más, sin saberlo la verdadera yo, iba muriendo poco a poco, nadie pudo ayudarme y tú luego de la graduación desapareciste, y todos me dejaron ahí, claro, ya se habían reído de mí lo suficiente, pero he aquí otra casualidad, eres mi vecino, suelo verte tres o cuatro veces a la semana, ¿sabes algo? Eso no me ayuda a olvidarte, y siento la desesperante necesidad de odiarte, ya que por tú culpa no puedo amar, por tú culpa Sasuke, ya que tú te robaste mi corazón, lo destruiste y luego, te lo quedaste, dejándome sin corazón. Y aún así ¡Te amo! ¡Viva yo! Por no aprender de los errores, pero creo que la muerte es la mejor solución, ¿sabes la linda vista que se tiene sobre este edificio? , y lo mejor es que estos son mis últimos latidos , son mi última imagen –hermosa sin comparación , y tú, tu eres mi último recuerdo y lo que me da fuerza para saltar. ¡Adiós mi querido amor!_
**Me estoy estrellando**
** Ahogándome en ti**
**Bajando para siempre**
**Tengo que abrirme paso**
_¡Sakura!- escucho tú voz a lo lejos, pero ya no hay vuelta atrás, no volverás a romperme, porque sé que si regreso a ti, eso harás me romperás nuevamente y yo ya no quiero ser rota. _
**Así que, adelante, grita **
**Grítame, estoy tan lejos**
** No estaré rota otra vez **
**Tengo que respirar ****no puedo seguir estrellándome**
_Y estoy tan lejos de ti ahora_, sin miedo a ser rota_, sin miedos ni nada que me ate a algún dolor_, Quizás por alguna casualidad nos volveremos a ver_, pero ahora no_, realmente ahora lo veo_,__ estoy mejor sin tí._______
* * *
><p><strong><em>Déjenme<em>**_______** sus comentario****s_, criticas_, se acepta de todo. __**_______
_______**__¡Espero que lo hayan disfrutado! ¡Mi primer One-Shot!__**_______
2. Broken Hearts!
Aquí esta el Pov de Sasuke que me salio de la nada.
Espero Que les guste.
* * *
><p><strong>POV SASUKE.<strong>
¡Mierda!, todo se había ido a la mierda, y me encontraba desesperado, la persona que más me ama en el mundo se había ido del instituto luego de la primera clase, todo por mi jodida culpa, pero aunque no quisiera disculparme ¡Todo lo hacía por ella!
Cuando supe que estaría en mi instituto, en mi curso, la ira me controlo, solo al pensar que alguien, cualquiera, podría alejarla de mí, quitarle mi atención, distraerla de mí, así que desde el primer día, la "aislé" socialmente y me encargue de aislar a todo hombre que ponía su interés en ella, pero aprovechaba todo el tiempo solo con ella, los caminos de regreso del instituto a nuestras casas, los trabajos grupales o en parejas, aunque claro cuando no los hacía conmigo, me encargaba de que ella estuviera con sus amigas.
Aunque al pasar el tiempo, mis burlas, mis desprecios, le fuero afectando cada vez más, y yo me hundí en un mundo desconocido hasta ese momento para mí, como ella decía fui "convirtiéndome en un monstruo", las drogas se hicieron parte de mí, el alcohol, y me odie, odie cada parte de mí, y perdí mi corazón.
¡Estaba desesperado!, mi respiración era desigual, y mi mente intentaba pensar donde encontrar a esa molestia de cabello rosa, la gente pasaba sin preocupación, ¿Cómo?, ¿Cómo podían están tan relajados si mi corazón estaba perdido por ahí?, mi mente pensó en un y mil lugares donde encontrarla, y mis pies por sí solos se dirigieron al edificio en que solíamos ocupar como guarida de nuestros amigos, y la vi, al borde del edificio, mirando a la nada, el edificio contaba con unos diez pisos, pero no me importo, corrí hacia la entrada del edificio, y emprendí la carrera hacia arriba.
Nuca había corrido tan rápido en mi vida, no sé el tiempo en que me demoré en subir, pero abrí la puerta que daba a la terraza, y la vi, mi corazón se detuvo, se encontraba de espaldas a mí, con su cuerpo relajado y el miedo se apodero de mi ser.
¡Sakura! – Dije aunque mi voz sonó lejana, por lo que en ese momento sentía, miedo a perderla, dolor porque si ella estaba ahí era por mi culpa, pero ella no me hizo caso y mis ojos se abrieron y sentí romperse todo dentro de mí al verla avanzar hacia el vacio.
Corrí hasta la orilla de la terraza, y la vi volar, a mis ojos acudieron las lágrimas y cerré los ojos al momento que su cuerpo se estrellaba contra el suelo, un jodido nudo se instalo en mi garganta al tomar mi celular marque el numero de la ambulancia, y solo logre dar la dirección y decirles que llegaran lo más pronto posible, pero en mi interior ya sabía la verdad, ella no podría haber sobrevivido al golpe, y al darme cuenta de eso, baje las escaleras a paso lento, sin esperanzas en nada.
Me acerque lentamente a su cuerpo y comprobé lo inevitable, no tenia pulso, me senté a su lado, pasaron unos cinco minutos y la ambulancia llego, los paramédicos la subieron a la ambulancia, y me llevaron a mí con ella, verla ahí sin vida no hizo más que aumentar mis lagrimas.
A los veinte minutos me encontraba llorando a las afueras de la sala donde habían ingresado su cuerpo, su familia y amigos más cercanos llegaron y le preguntaron al médico que había sucedido, el les explico que ella había ingresado sin pulso, y como había terminado así.
Sus padres rompieron en llanto, mientras eran abrazados por otros familiares, sus amigas que también estaban llorando apoyadas en los hombres.
* * *
><p>15 días después…<p>
Me encontraba en su tumba , como la mayoría de los días, llevaba ahí unas horas, y era el tiempo de irme, me levante sin ánimos, sonreí pronto estaría con ella para siempre.
Te amo.. – Susurré al viento y sentí su aroma tan cerca mío.
Pronto haría las cosas bien de una vez por todas.
* * *
><p>Espero les guste.<p>
Dejen sus comentario o criticas ^.^
End file.
| fanfiction |
Samavak may refer to:
Samavak, Hamadan
Samavak, Markazi | wikipedia |
collagenous gastritis was first described in 1989 when it was reported in a 15-year - old female . thus far , less than 60 cases of collagenous gastritis are reported in the literature .
histologically , it is characterized by thick collagen bands under the mucosal epithelium and infiltration of lamina propria with inflammatory cells , similar to collagenous colitis .
most commonly , it presents with chronic watery diarrhea along with weight loss due to associated collagenous colitis .
a 26-year - old caucasian female with past medical history of gastroesophageal reflux disease presented with abdominal pain and irregular bowel habits with a tendency for diarrhea for 6 months .
she was on omeprazole 20 mg for heartburn for 6 months . on examination , she had mild epigastric tenderness . cbc was normal except for a mild increase in the lymphocyte count .
anti - tissue transglutaminase iga was normal but total iga level was low . due to the abnormal serology for celiac disease and irregular bowel habits , esophagogastroduodenoscopy and colonoscopy was done .
the gastric biopsy showed significant thickening of sub - epithelial collagen ( fig . 1 ) and chronic inflammation consistent with collagenous gastritis .
the duodenal biopsy showed preservation of villous architecture with mildly increased intraepithelial lymphocytic inflammation consistent with focal mild lymphocytic duodenitis ( fig .
2 ) . as she was already on omeprazole with a gluten free diet , a follow - up visit in 3 months was planned .
the clinical symptoms may include abdominal pain , diarrhea , nausea , vomiting , weight loss , abdominal distension , gastrointestinal bleeding and fatigue .
the clinical picture is different in pediatric and adult age groups depending on the site of gastrointestinal tract involvement . in the pediatric age group
, it presents mostly with anemia and abdominal pain related to involvement of stomach . in adults
, it presents with chronic watery diarrhea due to coexisting collagenous colitis and more diffuse involvement of gastrointestinal tract involvement .
adult collagenous gastritis is also associated with autoimmune diseases , such as systemic lupus erythematosus , ulcerative colitis , lymphocytic gastritis , and lymphocytic colitis . due to this association ,
immune factors stimulate the production of extracellular matrix via production of growth factors and cytokines leading to collagen deposition . on egd
, gastric mucosa looks nodular with depressed mucosa in between nodules particularly in the body of stomach .
the depressed mucosa consists of inflammatory cells with atrophic glands , collagen bands and abnormal capillary vessels .
the collagenous gastritis is considered a chronic , intermittent to persistent histological disease with chronic , intermittent clinical course in the majority of adult patients .
there are no reports of any association between collagenous gastritis and any malignancy , lymphoma or any other gastric disorders .
the thickness of collagen bands has been associated with disease duration , but not with disease severity . however , in the majority of cases , the collagen deposits remain unchanged or become thicker due to continued inflammation . due to the small number of cases reported and unclear etiology ,
proton - pump inhibitors , oral corticosteroids and a gluten - free diet have been tried with limited success .
all authors have directly participated in the execution in a manner substantial enough to take responsibility for it . | pubmed |
NINE
Written by
Michael Tolkin & Anthony Minghella
Final Script
November 11, 2009
INT. PRESS CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
The flicker of film. Footage from a press conference.
GUIDO
You kill your film several times,
mostly by talking about it. A film is
a dream. You kill it writing it down,
you kill it with a camera; the film
might come to life for a moment or two
when your actors breathe life back
into it - but then it dies again,
buried in film cans. Mysteriously,
sometimes, in the editing room, a
miracle happens when you place one
image next to another so that when,
finally, an audience sits in the dark,
if you're lucky -- very lucky - and
sometimes I've been lucky - the dream
flickers back to life again. That's
why I'm secretive.
REPORTER (O.S.)
So what's your favorite pasta?
GUIDO
Finally, a serious question.
Laughter. A word:
NINE
INT. STAGE 5, CINECITTA - NIGHT
A huge soundstage. The STUDIO SUPERINTENDENT lets a
man into the stage, turns on a working light.
SUPERTITLE: Cinecitta film studios, Rome, 1965
STUDIO SUPERINTENDENT
Good luck, Maestro.
Departing, he closes the soundstage door.
As the man crosses the shadowy stage, a dim shaft of
light catches his face, weary, handsome, haggard.
GUIDO CONTINI, the most famous film director in the
world. In front of him:
AN ENORMOUS, DUSTY, MULTI-LEVEL FILM SET under
construction. A complex maze of scaffolding, its
unfinished, chaotic elements suggesting ancient ruins.
Cracked stone facades, broken columns, open
platforming, the skeleton of a grand staircase. A
lighting grid, not yet hung, and a camera crane
surrounded by a forest of studio lights on stands.
p. 2
Guido sits at the table, lights up a cigarette and puts
on his glasses. He looks at the plans, looks up at the
stage, puts his glasses down and stands up, stepping
over to the crane.
Guido, alone, cigarette hanging from the corner of his
mouth, contemplates the studio, its turbulent set, in
every sense a jumble of ideas.
Guido looks at the set in despair. He sits in the
bucket seat of the crane, buries his head in his hands,
overwhelmed.
THE FIRST OF NINE LOUD CHURCH BELLS CHIMES
GUIDO (V.O.)
Maestro, Maestro, Maestro Contini...
How do you begin? How do you begin
this thing? Page 1... Page 1... Page
1... Page nothing...
In the distance, a figure approaches out of the
darkness, the darkness of Guido's imagination. An
escape from his tortured reality.
The figure emerges gradually, like a goddess. She is
gorgeous, imposing, and seductive. She is CLAUDIA, his
film star, his muse. When Claudia reaches Guido, she
stops in front of him, takes his hands from his face,
and kisses him. And with that gesture, the music
swells, the lighting grid rises majestically into the
air, the gritty soundstage transforms into something
beautiful, transforms into the interior world of
GUIDO'S FANTASY.
As Claudia moves away, more and more women slowly
appear. They emerge from everywhere. These are the
women from Guido's life, past and present. Women from
his films, women he has loved, the sources of his
inspiration and creative genius.
A grand OVERTURE unfolds. The most significant women
in Guido's life are revealed, each with their own
powerful entrance:
LUISA, his wife
CARLA, his mistress
LILLI, his costume designer and accomplice
GUIDO'S MAMMA, her spirit
STEPHANIE, a fashion journalist
SARAGHINA, a whore
p. 3
A dark and glamourous dream. The women surround Guido
and he loses himself and his anxiety in their
collective embrace.
INT. STAGE 5, CINECITTA - DAY
The fantasy ends abruptly with A VIOLENT GRATING NOISE,
as the studio's truck doors are yanked open, jolting
Guido who is slumped in the crane seat. Harsh daylight
penetrates the gloom. Too bright. He blinks,
discombobulated, as a group of silhouetted figures
approach with purpose. One of the figures is a well-
fed, amiable character, DANTE. He is Guido's longtime
associate and Producer. A younger, more ascetic figure
accompanies him, sharp and birdlike. This is FAUSTO, an
accountant. Dante speaks quickly and without obvious
punctuation:
DANTE
(walking)
Guido! You're here.
GUIDO
Buongiorno, Dante.
DANTE
I've been looking for you all over the
place. The set's coming along. How
are you?
GUIDO
Bene, grazie, bene.
Guido stands to greet him. They kiss on both cheeks.
DANTE
Bene. My God, you look terrible,
better go to makeup, forget you've got
a press conference?
FAUSTO
(discreetly, to Dante)
He has no tie.
DANTE
Yes, makeup and wardrobe.
He takes Guido's arm and they head towards daylight.
Guido looks back at Fausto, who follows and with a look
and a gesture asks Dante who is he?
FAUSTO
(overlapping Dante)
Signor Contini, I'm Fausto. Good
morning, Signor Contini.
p. 4
DANTE
(interrupts)
He's counting costs, you know. The
Bank wants him here.
(to Fausto)
Don't speak to him, I speak to him.
FAUSTO
Okay, I have some questions for Signor
Contini.
GUIDO
We all have questions for Signor
Contini.
They head outside.
EXT. CINECITTA - DAY
Guido, Dante and Fausto hurry through the studio en
route to the Production Offices. Behind them is a large
poster of CLAUDIA, starring in Guido's last movie, a
failure, LA DONNA MODERNA (The Modern Woman). As Guido
passes he causes a mild stir, and many people nod
deferentially, offer a Maestro, or Dottore. Guido nods.
FAUSTO
Yes, but please, please, I think it's
customary for there to be an approved
script and budget before filming
commences...
GUIDO
Is he going to follow us?
FAUSTO
It's not my intention to be difficult.
Maestro, I am a huge admirer of
Maestro Contini's movies, your early
films are...everybody loves them
and... I consider it a great honour
for me to be here now... none the
less, I need a script and a budget.
Neither Dante nor Guido respond. Fausto flounders.
They make their way to the Production Offices.
Everywhere signs for the movie, ITALIA.
INT. PRODUCTION OFFICES, CINECITTA - DAY
A long corridor, bustling with activity. The trio
heads down it. If a pretty girl goes by, and there are
several, both Guido and Dante turn to look but without
missing a beat of their solemn conversation.
p. 5
As they progress into and through the open plan office,
many of the crew look up and cluster around, trying to
get Guido's attention, swelling the procession,
interjecting with their urgent requests.
There are set models everywhere, in the process of
being constructed, or painted.
JACONELLI, Guido's production designer, looks up from a
model, hurries over. Nobody stops moving.
As a pretty girl passes between them, they all turn to
look.
PIERPAOLO, Guido's young PA, has caught up with the
procession. He has dozens of phone messages, sorting
through them, as he walks alongside Guido, through a
partitioned office -
PIERPAOLO
Where do you want your messages?
GUIDO
On my desk.
PIERPAOLO
There's no room on your desk.
- into the main office -
GUIDO
Under my desk. In the trash. Non lo
so.
PIERPAOLO
(waving them at him)
Some of these are urgent!
GUIDO
(to Pierpaolo)
Get me a cigarette.
JACONELLI
(confidentially)
We will never be ready to shoot in ten
days.
GUIDO
Jaconelli -
FAUSTO
(at the same time)
Not ready?!
GUIDO
(continues)
Ascolta me.
(MORE)
p. 6
GUIDO (CONT'D)
(he kisses Jaconelli on
the cheek)
Careful what you say. He's a spy from
the bank.
Guido carries on moving through the office.
DANTE
He's not exactly from the bank, Guido.
Now BENITO, Guido's Casting Director, moves towards
Guido, Guido tries to duck away from him as they head
towards Guido's office.
BENITO
Dottore, Dottore. You have actors
waiting for you in your office.
Auditions all morning. You should see
what I've found. I found two sisters.
Look, they're right...
Guido turns through another partition, as they all
besiege him with questions. Benito despairs.
BENITO (CONT'D)
Dottore, this way...
Guido heads towards Wardrobe, goes straight through the
door, swinging it shut, leaving the chaos behind him.
Dante blocks Benito.
BENITO (CONT'D)
Maestro!
DANTE
Not now. He's got the Press
Conference.
INT. WARDROBE, CINECITTA - DAY
Guido comes through the door, blows hard from the
barrage.
They're in Lilli's domain here, and a haven, always,
for Guido. Part Edith Head, part Coco Chanel, Lilli is
Guido's Costume Designer, no longer young, cranky,
indomitable, sharp as a tack. She adores Guido without
any sentiment. She's incapable of sentiment. Guido
heads straight towards her desk, where she is cutting
some fabric.
GUIDO
I need a cigarette.
Dante comes in, closing the door behind him.
p. 7
DANTE
He needs a shirt and tie, Lilli.
Guido sits up on Lilli's table, as Dante heads to
Lilli's desk and picks up the phone to make a call.
GUIDO
I need a coffee and a cigarette.
He lies down.
LILLI
(unimpressed)
Answer a question, I'll give you a
coffee. Answer another question, I'll
give you a cigarette. And so on.
GUIDO
Actually and an aspirin.
Dante stands at Lilli's desk and looks at some
drawings.
DANTE
(in the background, on the
phone)
We're running late...
LILLI
(turns to Guido and lights
a cigarette)
Calm down. Directing a movie is a very
overrated job, we all know it. You
just have to say yes or no. What else
do you do? Nothing. Maestro - Should
this be Red? Yes. Green? No. More
extras? Yes. More lipstick? No. Yes,
no, yes, no, yes, no - that's
directing.
Lilli hands Guido the lit cigarette.
GUIDO
That's right: that's directing. And it
doesn't seem to make a blind bit of
difference, finally, what the answer
is...
LILLI
So please, Guido, yes or no, do you
want any costumes in this film?
GUIDO
Yes.
p. 8
LILLI
You see - simple!
(handing him an espresso
fetched by her assistant,
ROBERTA)
Might I know what period the movie's
in?
Lilli glances at Dante who has edged closer to the
table, he looks at the costumes.
GUIDO
Yes, yes.
(downs the espresso)
Soon.
Lilli glares at Dante, ushering him away.
LILLI
You know I don't allow producers in
here.
DANTE
Alright. Two minutes Guido.
Lilli is the only person who intimidates Dante. He
leaves. Guido pulls out his own tie from his pocket.
Lilli walks round and takes the tie off him. Guido sits
up. Lilli puts the tie round his neck.
LILLI
He's gone. Have you written a word of
the script?
GUIDO
No.
LILLI
Are you in a panic?
GUIDO
Yes.
She ties Guido's tie for him.
LILLI
Is Luisa going with you to the Press
Conference?
GUIDO
No. Nobody. Dante. And his spy.
LILLI
You need to shave. You look terrible.
p. 9
GUIDO
(looking around,
desperate)
Why is there no fire escape in here?
What if somebody needed to escape? I
can't face these reporters. I have
nothing to say.
LILLI
You'll be fine. You're a world class
liar, darling, go out there and lie
for Italy, lie for Italia.
EXT. ROME - DAY
Guido is driving his Roadster through the streets of
Rome. An Italian pop song of the day is playing on the
radio as he speeds around the Piazza del Poppolo. In
front of him in the convoy is Dante with Fausto.
INT. GUIDO'S CAR - DAY
As Guido drives, he turns to see his MAMMA in the
passenger seat. He's not remotely surprised. She
appears the way he remembers her. Mamma is
extraordinary.
GUIDO
What the hell's wrong with me? I
can't sleep. I can't think. I can't
write. I can't breathe. My heart is
racing. Am I dying, Mamma? I owe you
flowers, I know. I'll come to the
cemetery at the weekend. You should
have let me bury you in Roma, Mamma, I
could visit you every week. Don't
look at me like that.
MAMMA
(with kindly patience)
Oh, Guido, Guido.
He stops at a busy intersection.
EXT. STREETS OF ROME / INT. GUIDO'S CAR - DAY
This is the Rome of La Dolce Vita, the Rome of Vespas,
skinny ties, cool sunglasses, impossibly cool young
people. A magnificent fall day, and the cafes are
stuffed with the beautiful and chic.
p. 10
MAMMA
This is your Rome, Guido. The world
sees Rome the way you invented it.
Your films did that.
GUIDO
(buoyed by her
encouragement)
I miss you.
MAMMA
I miss you, too.
Guido is in his own world. The policeman raps on the
bonnet of the car. Guido startles and pulls off, alone
in the car.
Guido looks across as he drives. Mamma has gone.
EXT. HOTEL EXCELSIOR, VIA VENETO - DAY
The convoy comes to a quick stop in front of the Hotel
Excelsior on the Via Veneto.
As soon as Guido gets out of the car, the waiting
paparazzi snap his picture. Beautiful women look at
him. Guido moves quickly by them.
Dante and the team hurry after him. Fausto tackles
Dante.
And they hurry after Guido.
INT. PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - DAY
A big suite. About fifty reporters, men and women, are
in the room, and an array of microphones are on a
coffee table next to a long couch. Excited chaos. A
RADIO REPORTER narrates in the background.
RADIO REPORTER
And we're just waiting for the arrival
of Contini...any moment now - Could
this film put the Maestro back on top?
A few news cameras are filming. There's a buffet, and
a bartender.
And Guido comes into the room, shaking hands, patting
shoulders, grabbing a glass of champagne. Dante and the
team follow him in.
RADIO REPORTER (CONT'D)
And here he is..!
p. 11
DANTE
Silenzio, per favore...Thank you,
thank you...
RADIO REPORTER
Dante, Guido Contini's long time
producer, is about to speak...
DANTE
I want to say a few words from my
heart. I am humbled and thrilled to
be able to announce that I am
producing Guido Contini's next film,
Italia, which will star once again
Contini's longtime inspiration, the
international film star, Claudia
Jenssen...
A stunning film poster is revealed -- Claudia Jenssen
emerging from the Colosseum: CLAUDIA JENSSEN. UN FILM
DI GUIDO CONTINI. ITALIA. Flashes. Excitement.
DANTE (CONT'D)
...we start shooting in ten days time
in Cinecitta. That makes it one week
from Monday.
(to Guido, handing over)
Thank you, Maestro, thank you very
much. This is our ninth film
together. Guido Contini.
GUIDO
Thanks for coming, everybody.
Pretending to leave, he heads towards the exit and
kisses Dante on the cheek.
He returns to the couch. All the reporters fire their
questions at once. The questions come on top of each
other, and Guido covers his despair with an inflated
energy. He takes his sunglasses off and signals to
DINARDO, a harsh-looking woman.
DINARDO
Maestro Contini. Maestro Contini.
GUIDO
Yes.
DINARDO
Grazie. Maestro Contini, your new
film is called Italia... big title.
Another journalist, Leopardi, vile - sitting next to
her, egging Dinardo on - almost sniggers with contempt.
p. 12
GUIDO
Actually, it's my shortest title yet.
DINARDO
But hardly a modest one.
GUIDO
Films are not modest. They cost too
much, they take too long, and they
involve too many people. So they
should have grand titles.
DINARDO
And might you tell the press what the
film is about?
GUIDO
Why? I still don't know what my last
film was about.
LEOPARDI
(In a loud aside to
Dinardo)
That was the problem. Nobody else did.
GUIDO
Of course I can tell you what my film
is about...I can tell you the story, I
can tell you who I am going to cast,
the music I want to use, I can tell
you everything... but... I... won't.
I'm afraid that if I say anything, the
word might get out to the Press.
General laughter in the room. He wins a round, but is
clearly feeling the strain... Dante recognizes, steps
in.
DANTE
Our next film will be exactly as it
sounds. Italia. It's the very spirit
of Italy - Italy as myth, Italy as a
woman, Italy as a dream.
LEOPARDI
Is this true?
GUIDO
It sounds fantastic. I can't wait to
see it.
He's still winning. Ignoring the question, he points
to STEPHANIE, a gorgeous fashion reporter he recognizes
from American Vogue. Flirtatious and charming, she
wants him and he senses it.
p. 13
STEPHANIE
Signor Contini.
GUIDO
Stephanie.
STEPHANIE
Grazie. Could you tell the fashionable
women of America who your favorite
designer is this year?
GUIDO
I'm less interested in the wrapping
than what might be inside it.
REPORTER ONE
Signor Contini! You're a man of the
world, yes? Educated in Britain, a
home in Biarritz. With Italia is it
fair to say that you've come home for
good?
REPORTER TWO (O.S.)
(tries to interrupt)
What do you think of the New Wave in
the French Cinema?
GUIDO
For good?
REPORTER FOUR
It's been a long time since you made a
movie with your wife, do you plan on
casting her in this new film?
Guido is spinning plates.
GUIDO
I told Luisa that when we got married
I would never again make love to my
leading lady.
REPORTER FOUR
But she hasn't worked at all since
working with you.
Laughter. Everyone starts firing questions at Guido
again. Another REPORTER asks a question.
REPORTER FIVE
But why are you being so tight-lipped
about this film? It's a serious
question. What's the big deal?
p. 14
FANTASY:
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
We discover Guido, alone on the soundstage of his
unfinished set. A retreat into surreality. He sits on
the same couch from the hotel suite. He slouches, arms
folded, legs crossed, with his hat pulled over his
eyes.
GUIDO
I WOULD LIKE TO BE HERE.
INT. PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. DAY
GUIDO
You want me to be serious? In a Press
Conference?
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
GUIDO
I WOULD LIKE TO BE THERE
INT. PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. DAY
GUIDO
I thought I was the clown in this
circus.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
GUIDO
I WOULD LIKE TO BE EVERYWHERE AT ONCE
I KNOW THAT'S A CONTRADICTION IN
TERMS.
INT. PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. DAY
LEOPARDI
Signor Contini. Artists do their best
work before they're famous. Now
you're famous. Without wishing to be
negative - but your last two films,
they're not, they were...
GUIDO
Flops.
LEOPARDI
Your word. Flops.
p. 15
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
GUIDO
AND IT'S A PROBLEM, ESPECIALLY WHEN
MY BODY'S NEARING FIFTY AS MY MIND IS
NEARING TEN.
INT. PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. DAY
LEOPARDI
I'm just asking if you're nervous?
You seem nervous...
This stops Guido. He doesn't answer. We see a bead of
sweat running down the back of Guido's neck.
Everyone waits.
GUIDO
Excuse me?
LEOPARDI
What I'm asking, Maestro, is have you
run out of things to say?
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
As the number progresses, Guido gets up from his chair
and begins to scale the enormous heights of his
unfinished set, with great effort.
GUIDO
I CAN HARDLY STAY UP
AND I CAN'T GET TO SLEEP,
AND I DON'T WANT TO WAKE TOMORROW
MORNING,
AT THE BOTTOM OF SOME HEAP
BUT WHY TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY?
AFTER ALL, THERE'S NOTHING AT STAKE
HERE - ONLY ME
I WANT TO BE YOUNG.
AND I WANT TO BE OLD.
I WOULD LIKE TO BE WISE BEFORE MY TIME
AND YET BE FOOLISH AND BRASH AND BOLD.
I WOULD LIKE THE UNIVERSE TO GET DOWN
ON ITS KNEES AND SAY, "GUIDO,
WHATEVER YOU PLEASE,
IT'S OKAY EVEN IF IT'S IMPOSSIBLE,
WE'LL ARRANGE IT."
THAT'S ALL THAT I WANT.
p. 16
INT. PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - DAY
STEPHANIE
I was wondering if you think there's a
limit to what you can show in a movie.
GUIDO
What would you like to see that I
haven't already shown you?
She smiles, he smiles back, lighting his cigarette.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
GUIDO
I AM LUSTING FOR MORE,
SHOULD I SETTLE FOR LESS?
I ASK YOU, WHAT'S A GOOD THING FOR
IF NOT FOR TAKING IT TO EXCESS?
ONE LIMITATION I DEARLY REGRET:
THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME I'VE EVER MET.
INT. PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - DAY
Guido turns to the mantle. He grabs a bottle of
whiskey, looks up into the large gilded mirror at his
reflection. We see two Guidos.
GUIDO (V.O.)
I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ANOTHER ME TO
TRAVEL ALONG WITH MYSELF.
I WOULD EVEN LIKE TO BE ABLE TO SING A
DUET WITH MYSELF.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
GUIDO
I WOULD LIKE TO BE HERE
(SING ALONG WITH MYSELF IN A SONG)
TO BE THERE (WALKING DOWN A LANE NOW),
EVERYWHERE
(EVERYWHERE)
EVERYWHERE, THAT'S A CONTRADICTION IN
TERMS
I WANT TO BE HERE
(WITH A COUNTER-)
HERE (MELODY IN THE)
HERE (TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU GUIDO)
GUIDO (GUIDO)
GUIDO (GUIDO)
GUIDO. ME (ME) ME!
I WANT TO BE PROUST...
p. 17
INT. PRESIDENTIAL SUITE/INT. EXCELSIOR HOTEL - DAY
Amidst the chaos, Guido notices a waiter with a tray of
glasses entering the suite through a hidden door in the
wall. As the waiter passes, Guido slyly opens the door
and sneaks out.
GUIDO (V.O.)
...OR THE MARQUIS DE SADE.
I WOULD LIKE TO BE CHRIST, MOHAMMED,
BUDDHA
BUT NOT HAVE TO BELIEVE IN GOD.
AND YOU KNOW I MEAN IT WITH ALL OF MY
HEART -
IT'S THE END IF SOMETHING IMPORTANT
DOESN'T START...
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Guido continues climbing higher and higher.
GUIDO
...I WANT TO BE YOUNG,
BUT I HAVE TO BE OLD.
WHAT I WANT IS A TALE OF SOUND AND
FURY
THAT SOME IDIOT WENT AND TOLD.
I WOULD LIKE THE UNIVERSE TO GET DOWN
ON ITS KNEES
AND SAY, "GUIDO, WHATEVER YOU PLEASE,
IT'S OKAY EVEN IF IT'S RIDICULOUS,
WE'LL ARRANGE IT..."
INT. EXCELSIOR HOTEL - DAY
Guido slips through the hallway, down the grand lobby
staircase, and escapes.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
GUIDO
SO ARRANGE IT!
As Guido reaches the pinnacle of his Everest-like set,
Guido's WOMEN appear on the different levels.
WOMEN
ARRANGE IT!
GUIDO
THAT'S ALL THAT I WANT!
p. 18
EXT. ROME - DAY
Guido speeds away from Rome in his Roadster.
EXT. ROME ROAD - DAY
Guido's car passes by the remnants of an ancient
aqueduct, with women from his fantasy draped around
him, spilling out of his car.
THE WOMEN sing a musical flourish of praise to Guido.
WOMEN (V.O.)
CONTINI, CONTINI, CONTINI, CONTINI...
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - AFTERNOON
Now Guido and his women are in the countryside.
WOMEN (V.O.)
CONTINI, CONTINI, CONTINI, CONTINI...
The car races over a hill, blurring the countryside,
and we see the blue Mediterranean sea, and the pretty
spa town of ANZIO.
EXT. HOTEL BELLAVISTA - DAY
WOMEN (V.O.)
GUIDO!
The Alfa Spyder comes to a screeching stop in front of
the gates of the entrance of an impressive looking Spa:
GRAND HOTEL BELLAVISTA. The hotel has a slightly faded
glamour, something that lifts it a little out of time.
Guido's women are gone as the song ends.
SUPERTITLE: Bellavista Spa Hotel, Anzio, Italy
INT. LOBBY, HOTEL BELLAVISTA - DAY
Guido enters like a thief. He doesn't want to be
recognised. He approaches the Front Desk, where an
immaculate Desk Clerk, the urbane and wise DE ROSSI,
waits to greet him.
GUIDO
I need a room.
DE ROSSI
Of course.
p. 19
GUIDO
A suite.
DE ROSSI
Yes.
GUIDO
With a view of the sea. A balcony.
Something with air.
DE ROSSI
All of our suites have air... let me
just look for you.
GUIDO
I've come from Milano.
DE ROSSI
I understand.
GUIDO
On business. I'm a businessman. Busy
busy busy.
DE ROSSI
(without looking up)
Would Maestro Contini prefer to
register under a pseudonym?
GUIDO
(doleful)
Please.
DE ROSSI
(suggesting a name)
Signor Milano?
GUIDO
Why not.
DE ROSSI
(continuing to work)
Needless to say, I love your films.
Guilty pleasure. Those early films.
GUIDO
Not the flops.
(anxious, confidential)
I need to see a doctor. Do you know
one who's discreet...? I'd like to
see him today, in my room, now, if
possible.
DE ROSSI
Consider it done. Please.
p. 20
GUIDO
(takes the key)
And I need to place a call. To my
wife.
Guido writes the number on a piece of paper on the
desk.
DE ROSSI
You can take the call at the lobby
phone over there.
INT. TELEPHONE KIOSK, HOTEL BELLAVISTA - DAY
Guido heads into the elegant Art Deco booth, pulls the
glass door shut. The phone rings. He picks up.
INT. CONTINI HOME, ROME / TELEPHONE BOOTH - DAY
We intercut between the phone booth and LUISA in their
apartment in Rome... Luisa knows every move of
Guido's. She manages him very well, calm, dry and
funny.
GUIDO
Luisa, tesoro...
LUISA
There you are.
GUIDO
Is everybody mad at me?
LUISA
Well, I'm mad at you. Where are you?
GUIDO
I had to escape from the Press
Conference.
LUISA
I heard. Dramatic.
GUIDO
Don't tease me. I'm sick, Luisa.
LUISA
You're making a film. You make a
film, you get sick. It's what happens.
GUIDO
No, but this time I'm really sick. I
can't breathe.
p. 21
LUISA
Are you by yourself?
GUIDO
Yes, of course I'm by myself.
LUISA
Then shall I come?
GUIDO
Yes, please come, that's why I'm
calling, please come straight away.
That would be wonderful.
LUISA
Okay.
GUIDO
Great. Marvellous.
LUISA
I don't know where you are.
GUIDO
I don't know, some spa. Horrible. I
just kept driving.
LUISA
Well I can't come if I don't know
where you are.
GUIDO
(suddenly claustrophobic)
And, actually, it's hardly worth it.
I'll be home in a day or two.
LUISA
(all too familiar )
Yes, it's hardly worth it.
GUIDO
But I do wish you were here.
LUISA
Get some rest, take the waters, sleep,
then come back here and make a good
movie.
GUIDO
I love you.
LUISA
Get better.
p. 22
INT. LOBBY, HOTEL BELLAVISTA - DAY
He hangs up, pensive. Goes straight back to De Rossi
at the Front Desk, and scribbles down another number.
DE ROSSI
Your doctor is on his way.
GUIDO
(carefully)
This number - if a woman answers you
put it through to my room,
otherwise...
De Rossi understands.
DE ROSSI
It's a wrong number.
INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - DAY
...CLOSE-UP on Guido's eye, being held open by a
DOCTOR. Guido is on the bed, shirt open. The Doctor
examines Guido's eye while a heavy-set NURSE takes his
blood pressure. The Doctor stands and turns to his
case.
GUIDO
What?
NURSE
Dottore.
DOCTOR RONDI
Si?
He walks round to her. The Nurse whispers to the
Doctor. They look at the blood pressure gauge. Guido
is disturbed by their conspiracy.
GUIDO
What is she whispering? Is it my
blood pressure? Is it serious? Am I
dying?
DOCTOR
(to the Nurse, not
answering Guido)
Check again.
The doctor, interrupting him, takes a tongue depressor
from his kit.
The doctor, sits on the bed beside Guido, and takes his
cigarette out of his mouth. He stubs it out.
p. 23
DOCTOR (CONT'D)
Stress. Exhaustion.
THE PHONE RINGS. The doctor is in the way of the phone.
Guido desperately makes an attempt to reach it and
can't. He's trapped by the doctor and by the nurse
holding his arm.
DOCTOR (CONT'D)
Your liver, your heart, your kidneys,
they're all very cross with you,
Signore.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"/INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - DAY
WE CUT TO A PAIR OF FULL BEAUTIFUL LIPS SINGING HIS
NAME.
CARLA
GUIDO...
DOCTOR
Open wide.
Guido opens wide, gagging, as the phone continues
ringing. Guido looks at the ringing phone, but the
nurse has his arm in her grip as she takes his blood
pressure for the second time. And the phone continues
ringing.
DOCTOR (CONT'D)
But you've come to the right place.
There are a dozen mineral springs
around the town...
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"/INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - DAY
NOW WE CUT TO A SUGGESTIVE LOOK FROM A HEAVILY MADE UP
EYE.
CARLA
GUIDO...
DOCTOR
...the Roman emperors came here for
the waters...
Guido lunges for the ringing phone, with the blood
pressure cuff still on his arm, and picks it up. It is
CARLA, at the perfect wrong time.
GUIDO
(into the phone)
Pronto.
p. 24
DE ROSSI (V.O.)
Signor Contini, it's the Signora.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"/INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - DAY
WE SEE ISOLATED IMAGES OF A SEDUCTIVE BODY: A LONG LEG
IN SHEER BLACK STOCKINGS, A SHAPELY ASS, MAGNIFICENT
BREASTS.
CARLA
I WAS LAZING AROUND MY BEDROOM WHEN
YOU CALLED AND AN IDEA OCCURRED TO ME
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING
ABOUT, GUIDO...
GUIDO
(coming back quickly to
life)
It's a very an important call, Doctor.
I'm sorry, I have to take it. Private
call.
DOCTOR
As you wish.
FANTASY:
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
An enormous swathe of pink satin rakes across the
scaffolding of Guido's unfinished set. Emerging from
the highest point is a pair of long legs sliding down
the lush fabric. She wears stockings, heels and little
else. Bathed in hot light, Carla reveals herself from
inside the sumptuous folds of satin.
CARLA
WHO'S NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES?
I'M NOT!
MY DARLING,
WHO'S AFRAID TO KISS YOUR TOES?
I'M NOT!
YOUR MAMA DEAR IS BLOWING INTO YOUR
EAR,
SO YOU'LL GET IT LOUD AND CLEAR,
I NEED YOU TO SQUEEZE ME HERE...
AND HERE...
AND HERE...
INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - DAY
The Nurse, still taking his blood pressure and
listening to his pulse, is concerned about Guido's
vital signs.
p. 25
NURSE
Doctor... His pulse... it's racing.
DOCTOR
(to Guido)
Is something wrong?
GUIDO
What? Yes, yes. It's about my film.
It's from the Vatican. Go ahead,
Monsignore! Yes, yes, of course, I'm
listening.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Carla slides from the lush fabric onto a mirrored
platform. As she sings, she writhes and undulates in a
seductive display of sexuality. This is Guido's
ultimate fantasy.
CARLA
COOTCHIE, COOTCHIE, COOTCHIE COO.
I'VE GOT
A PLAN FOR WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO YOU,
SO HOT
YOU'RE GONNA STEAM, AND SCREAM, AND
VIBRATE LIKE A STRING I'M PLUCKING-
KISS YOUR FEVERED LITTLE BROW
PINCH YOUR CHEEKS TILL YOU SAY "OW,"
AND I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SHOW YOU HOW,
GUIDO.
INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - DAY
Guido trying to hide the effects of this phone sex from
the Doctor and Nurse.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Carla grabs onto two satin-covered ropes, suspended
from the ceiling. She wraps herself in them, swinging
and gyrating.
CARLA
WHO WON'T CARE IF YOU COME TO ME TIRED
AND OVERWORKED?
I WON'T! BAMBINO,
WHO KNOWS A THERAPY TO BEAT WHAT YOU
CAN GET FROM ME?
I DON'T!
BUT THIS WILL HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR
NOW,
GUIDO,
CIAO.
(MORE)
p. 26
CARLA (CONT'D)
(spoken)
I love you, Guido.
Carla disappears in a cloud of hot steam that becomes
the steam from an arriving train.
EXT. ANZIO, TRAIN STATION - DAY
And out of the steam... CARLA comes walking toward
Guido, swinging her hips, with a PORTER behind her,
pulling five bags on a wagon. Carla is dressed in her
own style, which is not chic, but it's what Guido
likes, a little too tight, a little flamboyant. She
wears it with pride.
CARLA
Guido! Ciao!
GUIDO
(to himself, remembering
how much work she is)
Carla.
(and now to her, covering
his ambivalence)
Carla!
CARLA
I'm so happy to see you.
GUIDO
Carlissima.
She gives him a hug and a kiss, both too much for him
in public.
CARLA
I missed you so much.
(they move off)
Are you happy I'm here?
GUIDO
Of course.
CARLA
But very happy? Or just a little
happy?
GUIDO
Very happy.
She sees something in his face that worries her.
CARLA
What's wrong? You look very tired,
very tired.
p. 27
GUIDO
(avoiding this, looks at
her bags)
Carla, all those bags for the weekend?
CARLA
Yes, the Bellavista is a very
fashionable place. You know I stayed
there with my parents, during the war,
it was full of Germans.
GUIDO
Carla... I have to tell you... they
found out who I am at the hotel--
CARLA
No...
GUIDO
... yes, horrible, but obviously we
don't want to be followed by the
press, so I found the most charming
pensione for you, and it's right here.
It's charming.
CARLA
Here at the station?
EXT. PENSIONE FERROVIA - DAY
A small pensione across the street from the station.
Carla sizes it up, and it's really not at all what she
was hoping for, but she doesn't say anything.
INT. PENSIONE BEDROOM - DAY
Later, Carla, in silhouette, from behind. Wrapped in a
sheet, she is looking out the window of the dingy room.
The light from the pensione's neon sign spills in. They
whisper.
GUIDO (O.S.)
Close the curtains, it's too light in
here.
Carla closes the curtains. They continue to whisper.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Perfect. Now, go into the corridor---
CARLA
What?
p. 28
GUIDO
Shhh! Yes, count to ten and come back
in, and pretend you're in the wrong
room, and I'm a complete stranger--
Carla sits on the bed facing Guido.
CARLA
I love your games!
She kisses him.
GUIDO
I'm here on business.
CARLA
Okay.
GUIDO
Go, go. Wait. Your face.
CARLA
What about it?
GUIDO
Get your makeup.
Guido switches on the light, puts on his glasses, and
tilts the lamp shade up. He begins to pencil in a
beauty mark and darken her eyes. He is meticulous
about this, and precise, and takes his time to make it
exactly as he wants it.
CARLA
I had a nightmare last night. We were
in that little alley behind Piazza
Navona, where I bought you that scarf,
remember? The same one your wife
bought you--
GUIDO
(probably doesn't)
Don't move, Carla.
CARLA
When you wear it, I never know if it's
hers or mine.
GUIDO
(not really listening)
Uh-huh.
CARLA
So we were there, on the ground,
naked, kissing, and we didn't care,
and then my husband arrived and killed
us both with a shovel! Poor Luigi!
(MORE)
p. 29
CARLA (CONT'D)
He would never do that! He's so sweet.
He speaks Latin! He knows all the
Roman Emperors.
GUIDO
(still intent on his
makeup job)
Good for him.
CARLA
Perhaps there's a job for him in the
movie--
GUIDO
Why not?
CARLA
You could work well together.
GUIDO
Beautiful. When you come in I want
you to be my little savage.
CARLA
Yes.
GUIDO
(gesturing towards the
door)
Go, go.
Guido takes off his glasses and puts them on the side
table..
CARLA
You think I am one of your actresses?
GUIDO
Hurry, please, Carla.
Carla gets up and takes Guido's glasses with her. Guido
turns out the light and settles into his pillow, for
the game. Carla looks at herself in the mirror.
CARLA
Oh, Madonna!
GUIDO
I'll pretend to be asleep.
Carla turns back to the mirror, she puts on Guido's
glasses and turns back to him.
CARLA
What if I really found the wrong room?
Would you be jealous?
p. 30
GUIDO
Could you do such a thing?
Carla teases him with a look that says, "Why not?"
CARLA
(coyly)
Hm! Who knows?
Carla goes into the hall and closes the door behind
her. We HEAR the MATRON who runs the Pensione talking
to her. While they talk, Guido removes a crucifix from
the wall and puts it in the bedside drawer.
Now Carla comes back into the room, giggling, signaling
for Guido to keep quiet.
GUIDO
What happened?
CARLA
(still giggling)
It was the woman from the hotel. She
wanted to give me towels.
GUIDO
Come here.
CARLA
Okay.
GUIDO
What?
CARLA
You are a stranger, I don't know you.
GUIDO
Carla, just come here.
(indicating her sheet)
Be savage. Show me.
She crosses the room and climbs onto the bed and opens
the sheet slowly, spreading her arms wide.
CARLA
Excuse me! I've got the wrong room.
GUIDO
Yes, you have. And I don't have the
faintest idea who you are.
She throws herself on Guido, whose arms enfold her.
p. 31
INT. PENSIONE BEDROOM - LATER
Carla is asleep, her bare back a thing of post-coital
beauty. Guido sits on the edge of the bed, quietly
getting dressed, filled with confusion and guilt.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE PENSIONE BEDROOM - NIGHT
Guido tip-toes out of Carla's room, shoes in his hand.
He walks down the hallway, alone.
GUIDO (V.O.)
Page one, page one, page one...
The figure emerges from the darkness
like a goddess. She is Claudia, his
muse...
INT. HOTEL, GUIDO'S SUITE - DAY
IMAGES OF CLAUDIA in his fantasy. Kissing him.
Walking away...
GUIDO (V.O.)
She takes the man's face and kisses
him...
Guido is surrounded by discarded bits of paper, an
outline of Italia. An empty sheet of paper sits in his
typewriter on his desk. He is not working on the
outline. He is sketching a voluptuous woman...
GUIDO (V.O.) (CONT'D)
...And with that gesture, he's
suddenly inspired to write
something... profound.
...he draws in the nipples on the woman's breasts.
Guido becomes discouraged. He tosses off his glasses
and runs his hands through his hair in frustration.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Mother of God, give me a sign.
He's happily distracted by the sound of vehicles
arriving outside his window. He opens a slat in the
shutters, looks down as a motor calvacade draws up. At
its heart is an impressive luxury car.
p. 32
EXT. HOTEL BELLAVISTA, POV FROM BALCONY - DAY
Hotel staff swarm around the vehicles which discharge a
procession of religious, including an ANCIENT CARDINAL
in scarlet robes and the CARDINAL'S SECRETARY. Priests
follow as the Cardinal heads inside the hotel.
Guido is intrigued, hurries out of his hotel room.
INT. HOTEL BELLAVISTA LOBBY - DAY
As Guido hurries down the stairs, the Cardinal is being
helped into the elevator. The CARDINAL'S SECRETARY is
dealing with check-in formalities with De Rossi. Guido
calls to him.
GUIDO
Excuse me, father...
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
(turns)
Buongiorno.
GUIDO
His Excellency, the Cardinal, is he -?
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
(recognising Guido)
Signor Contini!
(starstruck)
I am a big fan.
GUIDO
I would very much like to speak to the
Cardinal. Do you think he might grant
me -
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Is Claudia Jenssen with you?
GUIDO
No.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Pity. His excellency is a big admirer
of Signorina Jenssen.
GUIDO
(explaining)
I'm in need of some guidance, some
pointers...
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Do you think you could find a signed
photograph of Signorina Jenssen?
p. 33
GUIDO
For His Excellency?
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Si.
GUIDO
I'm sure that would be possible...
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Truly? What a pleasure. Arrivederci,
Maestro.
He heads towards the elevator. Guido watches him go,
then a voice calls out his name....GUIDO! Guido can't
turn round. He knows that voice.
DANTE
Guidino!
Guido hurries towards the elevator. The elevator doors
close. Guido is trapped.
GUIDO
I'm not going to ask how you found me.
DANTE
Please - it's my job. A producer
needs to know where his director is at
all times...even to know the pensione
where his mistress is staying...
GUIDO
Oh God.
DANTE
I understand, Guido. Rome is
absolutely unbearable. The pressure.
It's no good.
GUIDO
Really? You understand?
He takes Guido by the arm and leads him to a stairwell.
INT. HOTEL BELLAVISTA - STAIRCASE - DAY
DANTE
Of course I understand. Absolutely.
GUIDO
You're not going to drag me back?
DANTE
No. You're a genius and genius must be
served.
p. 34
GUIDO
Thank you, my old friend.
(Dante is guiding him)
Where are we going?
DANTE
You can't be in Rome. Okay.
(heading towards the
ballroom)
INT. GRAND BALLROOM, HOTEL BELLAVISTA - DAY
DANTE
Rome will come to you!
Dante opens the door of the Ballroom to reveal a full
PRODUCTION OFFICE, ART DEPARTMENT, COSTUME DEPARTMENT,
CASTING OFFICE. The models, costumes, headshots,
everything all in place or being put into place. An
absolute beehive of activity. Guido is staggered.
DANTE (CONT'D)
It's a fantastic place for you to
focus. Everyone is here to help the
movie. Everyone is here because they
love you, Guido.
He stands watching Guido with genuine admiration as he
sets to work with his team. Guido moves through the
room avoiding specific questions from everyone. As he
does so, Dante makes his way over to Guido with a
magnificent girl on his arm.
JACONELLI
(explaining his designs)
Yes, with the flower and the glass and
the arches of the Roman Empire...
DANTE
Guido...you remember Donatella.
DONATELLA
Ciao.
GUIDO
(he doesn't, she's new)
Ciao.
DANTE
Donatella, you tested her.
DONATELLA
I was very nervous. He probably
doesn't remember. I was quite
nervous.
p. 35
GUIDO
(distracted, taking it all
in)
No, I remember you. You were, we all
enjoyed you, so to speak.
PIERPAOLO
Maestro...
Pierpaolo, Guido's assistant, holds a telephone. Guido
wants to know who it is.
PIERPAOLO (CONT'D)
Claudia's agent...
Guido grimaces. Then takes the phone. He attacks the
phone call with gusto.
GUIDO
(listens to a stream of
invective)
Did she like the script?
(gestures for Pierpaolo to
light him a cigarette)
No no no no - impossibile - are you
telling me she didn't get the script?
(shouting at Pierpaolo)
Pierpaolo!
He takes the cigarette with a smile, and then without
missing a beat starts barking at Pierpaolo.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Claudia didn't get the script! Send
her another one. For Chrissake. Send
her two!
PIERPAOLO
(playing along)
Yes, I'm sorry. Right now.
GUIDO
Cretino!
(back to Lombardo,
listens)
Yes, yes, that's what I say, people
just don't realise - she's an actress
as well as a star - I know Dante's
dying to talk to you. A dolpo. Ciao.
He hands the phone to Dante, who's delighted to see
Guido back on good directing mode.
DANTE
Lombardo...
p. 36
As Dante takes over, Guido walks away, heads towards
Lilli and her domain.
INT. LILLI'S TEMPORARY OFFICE, BALLROOM - DAY
GUIDO
Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap!
Guido leaps over the balcony and lies down on a table.
Performance mode off. Lilli nods to Roberta to leave.
Roberta puts down her work and clears the room quietly,
leaving them alone.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
What are we doing here?
LILLI
I'm happy. I brought my swimsuit.
Lilli is working at a mannequin, hand-sewing some
sequins on a costume. A red feathered boa is draped on
the figure.
LILLI (CONT'D)
It was Luisa's birthday yesterday.
GUIDO
What? No. Oh please God. No. I
spoke with her yesterday. She didn't
even mention it. Give me a cigarette.
Lilli points to the one in Guido's hand.
LILLI
What's that?
Guido sees the costume.
GUIDO
What's that?
LILLI
It's for Claudia.
GUIDO
For which scene?
LILLI
Well I don't know which scene until
I`ve seen the script, but she always
likes something like this, or you do.
GUIDO
Looks like the Folies Bergere. It's
wrong. Italian women don't wear those
things.
p. 37
LILLI
Don't knock the Folies Bergere...
Lilli tosses the boa over her shoulder as she continues
pinning the costume.
LILLI (CONT'D)
...it brings back happy memories.
That's where I learned my art. All
those sequins, all those feathers.
(Still working)
And, you're wrong, you put Claudia
in one of these for that nightclub
scene in Natura Morta.
GUIDO
Why did people love that film?
Guido picks up a straw hat. Puts it on his head
playfully.
LILLI
Oh Guido, don't. That's death. Every
time we have to start again.
GUIDO
I'm trying to find it.
LILLI
You won't find it with your head
jammed halfway up your ass.
GUIDO
Ashtray.
She produces one.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Thanks. You were saying - my head is
jammed up my ass.
LILLI
Halfway. I don't know. Why not dream
up something entertaining, Guido?
Something with music...with dancing...
God knows, we could use a little joie
de vivre around here...
Guido looks into the faded ballroom mirror behind her
and sees...
p. 38
FANTASY:
INT."SOUNDSTAGE"
...Lilli, draped atop an upright piano, the red
feathered boa hangs from her shoulders. She places the
same straw hat on her head.
The soundstage has been transformed into an
impressionistic version of the Folies Bergere of the
1930's, with Lilli as its French Star. A spotlight
finds Guido watching from the scaffolding of his
unfinished set. The din of the theater audience fills
the smoky atmosphere.
LILLI
(singing and performing in
a french accent)
LE CINEMA TODAY IS IN A CRISIS
DIRECTORS ARE SO EXISTENTIALISTES.
THE MOVIES ARE
NOT WORTH THEIR ENTRANCE PRICES
IF NO ONE SINGS A LOVE SONG
WHEN HE'S KISSED.
LOVE CANNOT BE LOVE WITHOUT "LE
SINGING,"
A STRING, A CLARINET, A SAXOPHONE TAKE
A LESSON FROM THIS OLD PARISIENNE
AND THE FINEST ENTERTAINMENT SHE HAS
KNOWN.
Behind a black scrim, ghostly images come to life.
Apparitions that reveal themselves as exotic SHOWGIRLS
barely covered in beads, sequins, and feathers. They
descend the grand staircase.
LILLI (CONT'D)
FOLIES BERGERE-
WHAT A SHOWING OF COLOR, COSTUME, AND
DANCING!
NOT A MOMENT IN LIFE COULD BE MORE
ENTRANCING
THAN AN EVENING YOU SPEND
AUX FOLIES BERGERE.
FOLIES BERGERE,
NOT A SOUL IN THE WORLD COULD BE IN
DESPAIR
WHEN HE IS GLANCING
AT THE FABULOUS STAGE
DES FOLIES BERGERE
The showgirls disappear. Lilli comes down from the
piano and crosses onto the stage. The scrim rises.
From every corner, more showgirls begin to enter.
p. 39
LILY SHOWGIRLS
FOLIES BERGERE- OOH LA LA
LA MUSIQUE, LA DANSE, LE
SON, LA LUMIERE! OOH LA LA
LES PETITS JOLIES SEINS DES
BELLES BOUQUETIERES OOH LA LA
SUR LA BELLE PASSARELLE DES
FOLIES BEREGERE, OOH LA LA
PAS DE MYSTERE-
LE SPECTACLE EST TOUT A OOH LA LA
FAIT DECOUVERT.
"ET PAS TROP CHER"
VIENS CE SOIR AVEC MOI
AUX FOLIES BERGERE.
Lilli crosses onto the passerelle, and speaks directly
to the audience.
LILLI (CONT'D)
Ah, Bon soir, bon soir, bon soir. Je
suis la vedette des Folies Bergere.
Vedette, it means 'star.'
Lilli singles out guests at the lip of the stage:
LILLI (CONT'D)
Let me tell you. Last night I looked
down at this table in the chairs you
are sitting in now, and what did I
see? A priest! And next to him?
Suddenly, she sees Young Guido in the audience.
LILLI (CONT'D)
Ahh, mon Dieu! Guido? Guido Contini?
What are you doing here at the Folies
Bergere? You naughty boy! You're
only nine years old! But I'm glad
you've come. Would you like to join
me on stage? Yes. Come. Come, come,
come.
And she brings him onto the stage. The audience
applauds. She addresses him as though he is Older
Guido.
LILLI (CONT'D)
Feeling better? There's no room for
hopelessness in here, is there, Guido?
(to the audience)
We must explain something to our young
Guido. What do we want? Laughter!
What do we want? Love! What do we
want? Dreams! Let us not forget,
Guido, mon cher -- That's our
privilege - to entertain.
p. 40
The number kicks into full gear with a rousing can-can.
Young Guido finds himself swept into Lilli's
intoxicating world.
LILLI AND SHOWGIRLS
FOLIES BERGERE
THE MUSIC, THE LIGHTS, AND THE
LAUGHTER,
THE ANSWER TO WHAT YOU ARE AFTER
EACH NIGHT AT THE FOLIES BERGERE.
FOLIES BERGERE
LILLI
BY THE HEAVENS ABOVE, YOU WILL SWEAR
THERE'S NOTHING RARER!
LILLI AND SHOWGIRLS
THAN THE FOLIES BERGERE
Lilli crosses the proscenium. Her boa grows and grows
until it stretches the length of the stage.
LILLI AND SHOWGIRLS
(CONT'D)
FOLIES BERGERE
THE STAGE OVERFLOWING, AND GIVING A
MUSICAL REASON FOR LIVING EACH NIGHT
AT THE FOLIES BERGERE.
FOLIES BERGERE...
LILLI
TO YOUR MODERN IDEAS I COMPARE ONE
DERRIERE!
LILLI AND SHOWGIRLS
AT THE FOLIES BERGERE!
Lilli wraps her long boa around Young Guido. He and
Lilli are lifted onto an art deco swing, flanked by two
showgirls, that rises into the air. He is transported
and inspired.
LILLI AND SHOWGIRLS
(CONT'D)
THE ANSWER TO WHAT YOU ARE AFTER,
THE MUSIC, THE LIGHTS, AND THE
LAUGHTER
OF THE FOLIES BERGERE!
INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - NIGHT
We seem to be looking at the SET ON STAGE 5. But
suddenly a HUGE HEAD dips into the shot and it's Guido
contemplating a model of the set. He places a figure
on the top of the staircase.
p. 41
He moves round to the front of the model and places
another figure on the top of the scaffold tower. He
knocks it over.
Unconvinced, he sits down on the sofa. The coffee
table is covered in head-shots. He finds the one of
Claudia. Guido looks at it.
He lies back to write and finds himself in CLAUDIA'S
LAP. She hands him a lipstick, smiles and strokes his
hair. He starts to sign - "TO HIS EXCELLENCY.... "
then paints his lips and kisses the photo himself.
Claudia laughs.
INT. ANCIENT BATHS - DAY
Grottos and tunnels are thick with steam. Guido
follows the Cardinal's Secretary.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
The Cardinal is right this way.
The Cardinal's Secretary leads Guido to a private area,
where the Cardinal is already soaking in a large tub of
hot water.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
(CONT'D)
Your Eminence, Signor Contini is here.
The Cardinal's Secretary makes a gesture to Guido to
get into the tub with the Cardinal. Guido gets in the
water. The Cardinal looks hard at Guido and then makes
his first pronouncement.
CARDINAL
I like Charlie Chaplin.
GUIDO
Me too.
CARDINAL
A genius. What can I do for you?
GUIDO
Do you believe in God?
The Cardinal's Secretary is shocked.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Signor Contini, please.
CARDINAL
No, no, it's an honest question. Yes,
I believe in God.
p. 42
GUIDO
So do I.
CARDINAL
Are you a Catholic?
GUIDO
Oh yes, very much so. Not as much as
I would like to be, not as much as you
would like me to be, I'm sure, but
certainly yes, I'm trying.
CARDINAL
Try harder.
GUIDO
Yes, yes. I will, I will. Your
Eminence, I am not happy. I'm
searching for something. I feel a
sense of misery, of despair and --
CARDINAL
(interrupting)
I saw your films. Not the flops, the
others, the good ones.
But you think people need to see so
much sex? It's not necessary. We can
all imagine.
GUIDO
(laughing)
Excuse me - my films are what I
imagine.
CARDINAL
Then your imagination has no moral
training.
GUIDO
(nonplussed)
How do you train the imagination?
CARDINAL
The imagination is God's garden; don't
let the Devil play in it. Teach our
Italian women to be wives, not whores,
don't make us look at filth and
debauchery. Make us proud to be
Italian...
Guido's head disappears under the water. The sound of
the Cardinal's voice trails away...
p. 43
MEMORY:
EXT. BEACH - DAY
SUPERTITLE: Pesaro, Italy, 1926
Young Guido, dressed in his school uniform, runs fast
across the rough dunes with five boys from the village.
The boys head for a graffiti-covered defensive wall
with barbed wire along the top, a leftover from the
war.
They reach into pockets and extract small change, hand
it to Young Guido, already the ring leader.
They crawl through a small opening in the wall and
approach an abandoned bunker...
EXT. SARAGHINA'S BUNKER - DAY
...Young Guido takes a step forward toward the bunker,
as the other boys fearfully take a step back.
YOUNG GUIDO
(not loud enough)
Saraghina.
(louder)
Saraghina.
Now all the boys join in.
BOYS
Saraghina! Saraghina!
YOUNG GUIDO
(loudest)
Saraghina! Sa-ra-ghina!
A shadow moves inside the bunker. Now even Young Guido
takes a step back, but the boys are taking three steps
back.
And then she comes out. SARAGHINA is a gritty, earthy
woman, with a powerful, voluptuous energy. She has
darkened eyes and a beauty mark: she is clearly the
model for the whore makeup on Carla.
She looks at the boys. She may be a crazy whore, but
she's not an animal, she's just playing one for the
boys, and they don't quite understand that she's having
her own fun with them.
She takes a deliberate step. Young Guido stands his
ground. She takes another step and holds out her hand.
p. 44
Young Guido opens his hand with the coins.
She looks at the money. Is it enough?
But she grabs his wrist, and holds it, and then takes
the coins.
She stuffs the money in her ample bosom and heads back
to her bunker. She returns dragging an old broken
chair, places it in front of the boys and sits, ready
for the "show."
Saraghina scoops up the soft white sand in her hands
and pours it over her body...
A dark vamp begins.
FANTASY:
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Curtains of falling sand fill the soundstage.
Through the sand, we see Saraghina seated on the same
chair from the beach. She speaks, surrounded by other
WHORES in provocative positions on beaten-up chairs.
SARAGHINA
So, you little Italian devils, you
want to know about love? Saraghina
will tell you...and if you want to
make a woman happy, you rely on what
you were born with. Because it is in
your blood.
EXT. BEACH - DAY
With a smile, she pulls her dress off her shoulders.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
SARAGHINA
(sings)
BE ITALIAN, BE ITALIAN.
TAKE A CHANCE, AND TRY TO
STEAL A FIERY KISS.
BE ITALIAN, BE ITALIAN.
WHEN YOU HOLD ME, DON'T JUST HOLD ME
BUT HOLD THIS!
She grabs her breasts.
p. 45
EXT. BEACH - DAY
She undulates her body. The boys watch and cheer.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
SARAGHINA
PLEASE BE GENTLE, SENTIMENTAL,
GO AHEAD AND TRY TO GIVE MY CHEEK A
PAT,
BUT BE DARING AND UNCARING.
WHEN YOU PINCH ME, TRY TO PINCH ME
WHERE THERE'S FAT.
EXT. BEACH - DAY
Saraghina gets up on the chair, lifts her skirt, and
begins to move her hips.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
SARAGHINA WHORES
BE A SINGER, BE A LOVER BE A SINGER, BE A LOVER,
PICK THE FLOWER NOW BEFORE BEFORE IT'S PAST, BE
THE CHANCE IS PAST, BE ITALIAN, BE ITALIAN.
ITALIAN BE ITALIAN
LIVE TODAY AS IF IT MAY
BECOME YOUR LAST!
EXT. BEACH - DAY
Saraghina drops to the ground and playfully writhes in
the sand. The boys are transfixed.
She gets up and heads towards the water. The boys
follow, running.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Saraghina and The Whores brandish tambourines. They
begin a slow, rhythmic and sensual dance that builds
into a wild and raucous tarantella.
We furiously intercut between the musical fantasy and
the memory of the boys romping on the beach with
Saraghina, across the sand and through the water.
SARAGHINA WHORES
BE A SINGER, BE A LOVER, BE A SINGER, BE A LOVER,
PICK THE FLOWER NOW BEFORE BEFORE IT'S PAST.
THE CHANCE IS PAST.
p. 46
SARAGHINA WHORES
BE ITALIAN, BE ITALIAN, BE ITALIAN, BE ITALIAN.
LIVE TODAY AS IF IT MAY
BECOME YOUR LAST!
The whores dance.
The number ends.
EXT. BEACH - DAY
Two PRIESTS are running down the beach, cassocks
flapping.
The boys run. Young Guido tries to run away from the
priests. They catch him and carry him away from the
beach.
INT. ST. SEBASTIAN CHAPEL - DAY
Off-screen, a boys choir sings KYRIE.
The priests drag Young Guido through the school's
chapel, past a tortured Christ hanging above the ornate
altar, into the Principal's office.
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY
Guido's mother is there with the PRINCIPAL (again, she
appears the way he remembers her).
MAMMA
I am ashamed of you, Guido.
YOUNG GUIDO
But Mamma, what did I do.
PRINCIPAL
Bring him here. That savage is the
devil. God will punish you for your
sins, now and forever.
The Principal produces a cane and starts to whip the
boy remorselessly. Mamma looks away. Young Guido cries
out as they punish him...
INT. PENSIONE BEDROOM - DAY
...and the cry is now in Guido's mouth, on top of Carla
in the spasm of sex... He suddenly can't breathe...
Carla is suddenly aware that he's not in ecstasy... He
rolls over, recovers slowly. As always, immediately
wanting to leave after the sex.
p. 47
CARLA
What? What?
GUIDO
I can't breathe, I can't breathe.
CARLA
Guido, don't die on me! Can you
imagine... poor Luigi! It would kill
him.
GUIDO
(finding her ridiculous)
If I die it would kill your husband?
Guido shrugs the sheet off and sits up slowly. Carla
kneels up and hugs him, kissing his back.
CARLA
No, that's not what I meant, Guidino.
No. Where are you going?
GUIDO
I have to go to work. Carla, I can't
breathe.
Guido stands up and picks up his shirt. He puts it on
whilst they argue.
CARLA
Let me come with you.
GUIDO
It's impossible.
CARLA
Why?
GUIDO
Because it's impossible. Please.
CARLA
But why is it impossible? Look at your
producer! He's married, he brings his
girlfriend to work and nobody cares.
Guido. Everybody knows about me. Why?
Why won't you let me near you?
GUIDO
For the very same reason you don't
want me to die on top of you. It's
not fair to your husband. It's not
fair to my wife.
p. 48
CARLA
See, you're playing with me. You're
twisting everything... Please let me
come with you.
GUIDO
No.
Guido heads towards the door, still dressing.
CARLA
I'll be here waiting for you with my
legs open.
Disgusted with himself, he leaves.
INT. TERRACE RESTAURANT, HOTEL BELLAVISTA - NIGHT
Glittering lights on the terrace. A view of the sea.
A pop band and a dance floor. A slick Italian MALE
SINGER performs QUANDO QUANDO QUANDO. People dance.
The whole PRODUCTION TEAM is at a working dinner.
Guido is at the end of the table, spilling ideas,
struggling, struggling to make sense of Italia -
GUIDO
Let's say there were ten sequences,
each one set in a different period,
but played by the same cast, a man and
a woman, a woman and a man...
(pours himself a glass of
wine)
Something light and hectic - like
Mozart would do it, like Figaro.
(to Lilli)
Like the circus...
DANTE
Claudia is going to be amazing.
BENITO
It sounds like a masterpiece.
FAUSTO
(hissing at Dante)
Dante, you see, he hasn't written a
word...
DANTE
(defending his director)
The screenplay is first of all a map.
That's a map.
p. 49
GUIDO
Let's try to dig for something else.
Maybe a group of people digging, with
shovels, in the desert.
LILLI
Guido.
She nudges him. He looks across the restaurant to see
his wife at the entrance looking for him...
GUIDO
Luisa!
He jumps up from the table and hurries towards the
dance floor, genuinely happy.
ON THE DANCE FLOOR:
- as Guido is protective of Luisa... holding her back
from the dinner table.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
I can't believe you came.
LUISA
The jungle drums said it was an
emergency.
GUIDO
The jungle drums exaggerated just a
tiny bit.
LUISA
Not entirely.
(with concern)
You haven't been sleeping.
GUIDO
I was dying, until just now. Come.
He pulls her into the middle of the dance floor. They
start to dance.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
And don't think I forgot your
birthday. When you get home, the house
will be full of flowers...
LUISA
Am I already going home?
GUIDO
I hope not. Happy Birthday, my
darling.
p. 50
They move together, enjoying each other. She kisses
him.
They walk towards the table.
AT THE TABLE:
DANTE
(Seeing Luisa)
Here she is. At last. Magnificent.
You know Donatella?
LUISA
I do now.
She leans across to kiss Lilli.
He sits Luisa down, goes to grab a bottle of champagne.
LUISA (CONT'D)
(to Lilli)
Thank you for calling.
LILLI
(confidentially)
You're saving the movie. Give him a
good idea, for God's sake.
Luisa says hello to the rest of the gang, there are
kisses, etc. as Guido returns and pops open the bottle
of champagne.
GUIDO
Let's drink a toast to Luisa's
birthday.
LUISA
(negating it)
It was Monday.
DANTE
Happy Birthday!
LUISA
(not quite able to forgive
him)
Thank you.
GUIDO
Happy Birthday.
Just then, the Cardinal's Secretary appears. Heads
towards the table.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Maestro.
p. 51
GUIDO
(standing up to greet him,
then turning to Luisa)
Ah, Don Mario. Excuse me, darling,
this is Don Mario. This is my wife,
Luisa.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
A pleasure, Signora.
LUISA
Sit down, won't you, Don Mario?
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Oh no.
LUISA
Please.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
I was telling your husband how much I
admire his movies. Publicly, you know
the Church condemns them - we have to -
but we all love them.
(To Guido)
Last year we did our own version of
your Il Vicolo at the Christmas
Party.
LILLI
That I would pay to see.
GUIDO
Luisa was in that film.
LILLI
She was the best thing in the movie.
GUIDO
It's true. It was your first part.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Of course! - you're Luisa Acari! Oh
my Lord!
LUISA
I was.
Music begins.
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
You can't stop being somebody.
LUISA
Can't you?
p. 52
CARDINAL'S SECRETARY
Well there's a good catholic wife for
you, Guido, that's what they do -
sacrifice. Still, Signora Contini, it
must be a very exciting life for
you...
Luisa looks to Guido. Close up on Guido.
FANTASY:
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
The restaurant table as well as the production team are
transplanted onto Guido's unfinished set. They are
surrounded by camera equipment, standing lighting
units, etc. Luisa rises from her chair, distancing
herself from the scene. The other characters, with the
exception of Guido, freeze in a dimly lit macabre
tableau.
Luisa contemplates her life with Guido.
LUISA
MY HUSBAND MAKES MOVIES
TO MAKE THEM HE LIVES A KIND OF DREAM
IN WHICH HIS ACTIONS AREN'T ALWAYS
WHAT THEY SEEM-
HE MAY BE ON TO SOME UNIQUE ROMANTIC
THEME.
SOME MEN RUN BANKS
SOME RULE THE WORLD
SOME EARN THEIR LIVING BAKING BREAD.
MY HUSBAND.... HE GOES A LITTLE CRAZY
MAKING MOVIES INSTEAD.
MY HUSBAND SPINS FANTASIES,
HE LIVES THEM, THEN GIVES THEM TO YOU
ALL
LIKE MICHELANGELO,
HE PAINTS HIS PRIVATE DOME
BUT CAN'T DISTINGUISH WHAT'S HIS WORK
AND WHAT'S HIS HOME.
SOME MEN SELL STOCKS
SOME MEN PUNCH CLOCKS
SOME LEAP WHERE OTHERS FEAR TO TREAD.
MY HUSBAND, AS AUTHOR AND DIRECTOR,
MAKES UP STORIES IN HIS HEAD.
As the number progresses, the world around Luisa
disappears into a black void, leaving only herself,
with Guido in the shadows. Luisa climbs the staircase.
LUISA (CONT'D)
GUIDO CONTINI, LUISA CONTINI:
NUMBER ONE GENIUS AND NUMBER ONE FAN.
(MORE)
p. 53
LUISA (CONT'D)
GUIDO CONTINI, LUISA CONTINI:
PASSIONATE WOMAN IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN
LONG AGO - MANY YEARS AGO.
ONCE WE TWO WERE-
GUIDO CONTINI, LUISA HIS LOVER:
ACTRESS WITH DREAMS AND A LIFE OF HER
OWN,
THEN WE HAD NO END OF WORLDS TO
DISCOVER,
SINGING TOGETHER ALL NIGHT ON THE
PHONE LONG AGO - SOMEONE ELSE AGO...
MEMORY:
INT. INSERT STAGE - DAY
Luisa's screen test for Guido. A work print in
scratched black and white. The music continues.
CLAPPER LOADER (O.S.)
Signorina Acari, per favore. Provino
numero uno. Luisa Acari.
The clapper board. TITLE: IL VICOLO (The Alley) Her
name: LUISA ACARI.
A small set. A couple of tables and chairs, as if it's
an outdoor cafe in Piazza Navona. Luisa enters,
younger, she's like Audrey Hepburn...
Luisa sits on the chair.
GUIDO (O.S.)
Your name, it's Italian.
LUISA
My father's Italian. My mother's
French.
GUIDO (O.S.)
What have you done before?
LUISA
(eyes twinkling)
Oh, I've waited...
GUIDO (O.S.)
Waited? For this?
LUISA
Waited tables.
(they both laugh)
And, of course, I studied theatre and
mime in Paris. But, mostly waited
tables.
p. 54
Guido enters. He's fascinated by her. She's taken
aback that he's in front of the camera and approaching
her. He walks straight up to her and unties her hair.
It's oddly intimate. He stands back to reappraise her.
GUIDO
Thank you.
LUISA
For what?
GUIDO
Thank you. For what I'm looking at.
(walking away)
Keep running.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Luisa is now at the top of the staircase. She looks at
Guido from a greater distance and descends the stairs.
LUISA
LONG AGO - SOMEONE ELSE AGO.
HOW HE NEEDS ME SO,
AND HE'LL BE THE LAST TO KNOW IT.
MY HUSBAND MAKES MOVIES.
TO MAKE THEM HE MAKES HIMSELF
OBSESSED.
HE WORKS FOR WEEKS ON END
WITHOUT A BIT OF REST-
NO OTHER WAY CAN HE ACHIEVE HIS LEVEL
BEST.
SOME MEN READ BOOKS,
SOME SHINE THEIR SHOES,
SOME RETIRE EARLY,
SOME STAY UP TO DREAM AND MUSE.
MY HUSBAND ONLY RARELY COMES TO BED -
MY HUSBAND MAKES MOVIES INSTEAD.
MY HUSBAND MAKES MOVIES...
INT. TERRACE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
In reality, Luisa sees Carla enter the restaurant.
They look at each other. Carla tries to change
direction, or look as if she's come to the wrong place.
...Luisa gets up abruptly.
LUISA
Excuse me, I suddenly feel very tired.
She hurries away. Guido senses something terrible is
happening. He gets up and goes after his wife.
p. 55
EXT. STEPS, HOTEL BELLAVISTA - NIGHT
Guido catches up to Luisa as she storms up the steps.
GUIDO
Luisa!
LUISA
I'm staggered by my own stupidity. I
could vomit.
GUIDO
Luisa - will you please just tell me
what happened?
LUISA
You open your mouth and a lie comes
out.
GUIDO
What lie?
LUISA
Why am I surprised? - it's like
breathing to you.
She walks away up the steps. Guido can only guess at
what's happened. He heads back to the terrace
restaurant...
INT. TERRACE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Guido comes back inside. Carla is seated at a table.
She sees him and calls for him.
CARLA
Guido.
Raging, he grabs her and frogmarches her out the door.
INT. LOBBY, HOTEL BELLAVISTA - NIGHT
Guido pulls Carla through the lobby. She's humiliated.
CARLA
(trying to explain)
I was hungry. I'm tired of eating
alone in that room.
GUIDO
There are plenty of restaurants.
p. 56
CARLA
I wanted to see the hotel. I told you
I came here with my parents when I was
little. I didn't come to disturb you.
GUIDO
Well you certainly managed to.
CARLA
Why didn't you tell me Luisa was going
to be here!
GUIDO
I didn't know she was here. She just
turned up.
CARLA
Well, she could have warned you.
GUIDO
The only privilege my wife has these
days is not having to warn me.
He walks over to the front desk, to the ubiquitous De
Rossi.
GUIDO O.S
A taxi, please, for the Signora.
DE ROSSI O.S.
Right away.
Guido goes back to the suddenly vulnerable Carla.
GUIDO
Carla, you have to wait outside.
CARLA
Will you wait with me?
GUIDO
I'm in the middle of a working dinner
with my colleagues.
CARLA
So why do I have to wait outside?
GUIDO
(shamed)
I'll find someone to escort you home.
He disappears. Carla walks towards the door, conscious
of De Rossi. She's humiliated. De Rossi comes out
from behind his desk, approaches her.
p. 57
DE ROSSI
(carefully)
Signora, would you rather wait inside?
CARLA
I'm going to walk. Please tell my
friend I had to leave.
She walks away.
EXT. ROAD - NIGHT
Carla walks along the road in the dark, stumbling
along.
INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - NIGHT
Guido enters. The two single beds. Luisa is apparently
asleep in hers. Guido sits on his bed. Glum.
GUIDO
Apparently she's staying in some
grotesque pensione next to the
station.
Luisa doesn't move.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Luisa, if I'd invited her here, she
would be staying in the hotel,
wouldn't she? Think about it. I
didn't even know you were coming.
LUISA
(without opening her eyes)
Very plausible.
GUIDO
Because it's true.
Luisa turns on her bedside lamp and sits up in bed.
LUISA
You told me it was finished.
GUIDO
It is. Look, she was worried about
me, she came to see if I was all right
- which yes, is stupid but not, as far
as I know, a crime, and hardly a
mortal sin.
Luisa suddenly laughs, disconcertingly.
p. 58
GUIDO (CONT'D)
(smiles, insecure)
What? What are you laughing about?
LUISA
Nothing. If you could see yourself.
(raising herself up
further)
I couldn't live with it - the
absurdity of being you, the effort of
having to hide and lie and cheat. It's
exhausting, no wonder you've got no
script, you're too busy inventing your
own life.
GUIDO
It's finished. It's finished.
(and he is exhausted)
If it wasn't before, it is now.
LUISA
(lying back on her bed)
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Luisa turns over, reaches to the bedside lamp and turns
it off. Guido gets up and hurries from the room.
INT. BAR, HOTEL BELLAVISTA - NIGHT
Guido enters the bar, goes up to the bartender.
GUIDO
Vodka.
A voice comes from behind him.
STEPHANIE (O.S.)
I'll have one of those. Due.
Guido looks around, it's the Vogue Journalist from the
Press Conference. Stephanie grins at him, infectious,
full of flirt.
STEPHANIE (CONT'D)
Hi, Guido Contini. Stephanie, from
Vogue, remember me?
GUIDO
Yes, I remember very well, Stephanina
from Vogue.
STEPHANIE
So, coincidence. You being here. And
me being here.
p. 59
GUIDO
(taking his glasses off)
Amazing. May I take a cigarette?
STEPHANIE
That was quite a performance. At the
Press Conference. The Vanishing Act.
Guido takes a cigarette. The drinks appear. Guido
produces some money.
STEPHANIE (CONT'D)
No, please, my treat.
GUIDO
(paying)
Please.
STEPHANIE
Grazie.
GUIDO
Prego.
STEPHANIE
(eyeing Guido)
I've seen all your movies.
GUIDO
(lights their cigarettes)
Really?
STEPHANIE
Like a million times. They're the only
movies that tell the truth about the
modern world.
GUIDO
And what truth is that?
STEPHANIE
(thinks)
Death of religion... Sexual
revolution...
GUIDO
I don't think religion is dead. And
what exactly is the sexual revolution?
STEPHANIE
That we can talk about later.
Stephanie crosses her legs. Guido looks down and sees
her grey patent leather boot moving in time to the
beat.
A RHYTHM BEGINS.
p. 60
STEPHANIE (CONT'D)
You have such style. I always think
that. That's the other thing I love
about your movies.
GUIDO
(appalled)
Style.
FLASH: A SUDDEN HEAD TURN OF A MAN IN SHADES.
STEPHANIE
Every frame is like a postcard.
GUIDO
(appalled)
Okay.
STEPHANIE
It's great: you care as much about the
suit as the man wearing it.
FLASH: A SUDDEN IMAGE OF MEN IN STYLISH SUITS.
STEPHANIE (CONT'D)
It's the Italian man in you: pays for
your drinks, undresses you with his
eyes...
FLASH: A SUDDEN IMAGE OF A WOMAN'S HIP THRUST.
GUIDO
I hate that man.
STEPHANIE
No! Style is the new content! It's
what my readers love. They want to
dress like Claudia Jenssen. They want
to undress like Claudia Jenssen. They
want to ride on a Vespa down the Via
Veneto. They want to live in an
Italian movie.
FANTASY:
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
The tiered levels of the unfinished set are covered
with go-go girls in silver miniskirts. At the center
of the stage, Italian male models in stylish suits and
Ray Bans strut down a fashion runway.
Stephanie makes her entrance on the catwalk.
p. 61
STEPHANIE
I LOVE THE BLACK AND WHITE!
I LOVE THE PLAY OF LIGHT!
THE WAY CONTINI PUTS HIS IMAGE THROUGH
A PRISM.
INT. HOTEL BAR - NIGHT
Guido lights Stephanie's cigarette.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
STEPHANIE
I FEEL MY BODY CHILL
GIVES ME A SPECIAL THRILL
EACH TIME I SEE THAT GUIDO NEO-REALISM
INT. HOTEL BAR - NIGHT
Guido and Stephanie share a laugh as she steals a sip
from Guido's glass.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Stephanie leads the men in a series of tight, rhythmic
moves.
STEPHANIE
I LOVE THE DARK AND HANDSOME GUYS
WITH THEIR SKINNY LITTLE TIES
DRESSIN' MOD, LOOKIN' OUTTA SIGHT!
I LOVE TO WATCH `EM AS THEY CRUISE
WITH THEIR POINTY LEATHER SHOES
WEARIN' SHADES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
NIGHT.
INT. HOTEL BAR - NIGHT
Stephanie rubs her leg against Guido's.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
STEPHANIE
WHATEVER GUIDO DOES, IT MAKES ME SMILE
HE IS THE ESSENCE OF ITALIAN STYLE.
I LOVE THE GLAMOROUSLY LATIN WORLD
THAT ONLY GUIDO CAN PORTRAY!!!
CONTINI'S CINEMA ITALIANO!
I LOVE HIS CINEMA ITALIANO!
HE MAKES ME FEEL WITH CINEMA ITALIANO
(MORE)
p. 62
STEPHANIE (CONT'D)
MY LIFE IS REAL WITH CINEMA ITALIANO
HE IS THE KING OF CINEMA ITALIANO!
INT. HOTEL BAR - NIGHT
Stephanie whispers into Guido's ear, as she drops her
room key into his pocket. He watches her hips swing as
she walks out. Guido plays with her room key, deciding
whether or not to follow.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
A long line of chic women replace the men on the
runway, joining Stephanie.
STEPHANIE
THOSE SCENES I LOVE TO SEE
FROM GUIDO'S "P" "O" "V"
THERE'S NO ONE ELSE WITH HIS UNIQUE
DIRECTOR'S VISION.
HIS ANGLES - WIDE AND TIGHT -
EACH MOMENT FEELS SO RIGHT...
DEFINES ITALIAN STYLE BY ONLY HIS
DECISION!
I LOVE THE SPEEDY LITTLE CARS
THE HIP COFFEE BARS
THE SLEEK WOMEN IN POSITANO...
GUIDO'S THE ULTIMATE UOMO ROMANO!
STEPHANIE AND MEN
CONTINI'S CINEMA ITALIANO!
I LOVE HIS CINEMA ITALIANO
GUIDO GUIDO GUIDO
GUIDO GUIDO GUIDO
GUIDO GUIDO GUIDO
GUIDO GUIDO!
DRUM BREAK. The number heats up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Guido exits the elevator, weary and ripe with self-
disgust, and walks down the hallway to Stephanie's
door.
Guido pushes open the door and drops her key in a bowl.
He walks tentatively into the room and sits on her bed.
The dressing room door is deliberately ajar.
Guido catches a glimpse of Stephanie undressing in a
mirror.
p. 63
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
STEPHANIE
DARK AND HANDSOME GUYS
SKINNY LITTLE TIES
SHADES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
SPEEDY LITTLE CARS
HIP COFFEE BARS
SLEEK WOMEN IN POSITANO...
STEPHANIE AND WOMEN MEN
ECCO IL RE DEL ECCO IL RE DEL
CINEMA ITALIANO CINEMA ITALIANO
QUESTO O E IL QUESTO O E IL
CINEMA ITALIANO CINEMA ITALIANO
NELLA MIA ANIMA
ALL
NELLA MIA ANIMA
NELLA MIA ANIMA
CINEMA ITALIANO
BIANCO-NERO BIANCO-NERO
BIANCO-NERO
NERO-NERO
STEPHANIE
CINEMA ITALIANO
WOMEN MEN
BIANCO-NERO BIANCO-NERO DARK AND HANDSOME GUYS
BIANCO-NERO SKINNY LITTLE TIES
NERO-NERO SHADES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
NIGHT
SPEEDY LITTLE CARS
HIP COFFEE BARS
MOD, LOOKIN' OUTTA SIGHT
ALL
NELLA MIA ANIMA
CINEMA ITALIANO
NELLA MIA ANIMA
CINEMA ITALIANO
CONTINI'S CINEMA
ITALIANO!
Suddenly, Guido is sharing the runway with Stephanie,
the go-go dancers, and the male models, soaking up the
adoration as his idol-worshipping audience cheers and
paparazzi flash. It's a party. Champagne Popping.
Flowing.
Everyone is chanting Guido's name. Guido and Stephanie
exit the runway, arm and arm...
p. 64
INT. STEPHANIE'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Guido feels consumed with self-loathing.
GUIDO
No.
He gets up from the bed and bolts from the room...
INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - NIGHT
...Guido enters his own suite. He sits down on Luisa's
bed, curls round her and kisses her neck. Determined
to commit to Luisa.
GUIDO
I love you Luisa.
After a moment she turns to him, her own hand seeks
his.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Can we please try to be close again.
The PHONE RINGS, shockingly loud. He kisses Luisa,
then grabs the phone to silence it.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Pronto...
EXT. PENSIONE FERROVIA - NIGHT
Guido arrives at the Pensione. The Matron is waiting
at the door. Distressed.
INT. PENSIONE FERROVIA - NIGHT
As they walk down the hall -
GUIDO
Is the doctor still with her?
The Matron nods.
MATRON
Yes, he's in there. He's waiting for
you. This way.
p. 65
INT. PENSIONE BEDROOM - NIGHT
Guido goes in with the Matron to find her DAUGHTER
pressing a cold compress onto Carla's head as she lies,
feverish in the bed. DOCTOR RONDI is packing up his
things.
CARLA
(distant)
You came.
GUIDO
(taking her hand)
I'm here.
Doctor Rondi is brisk. He nods to Guido that they go
outside.
DOCTOR RONDI
Signor Contini.
As Guido makes to leave -
CARLA
Come back.
Guido reassures her with a gesture.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE PENSIONE BEDROOM - NIGHT
Guido and Doctor Rondi come out. Guido is concerned.
Doctor Rondi writes out a prescription as he talks.
DOCTOR RONDI
She took five or six pills, enough to
make herself very sick. I understand
she's your mistress.
(Guido can't answer)
This is a sordid business. You movie
people, I suppose you don't consider
yourself bound by morality...
Guido doesn't fight. Rondi hands him the prescription,
picks up his bag, turns and walks away, leaving Guido
leaning against the wall...
MEMORY:
EXT. BEACH - DAY
Young Guido, alone and dressed in his school uniform,
runs fast across the rough dunes.
p. 66
MAMMA (O.S.)
Guido? Dove corri? Where are you
running to?
INT. PENSIONE BEDROOM - NIGHT
... the door knob turns. Guido comes back into the
room, indicates to the Matron and her daughter that
they should leave.
GUIDO
Thank you. I'm going to stay with her
now.
MATRON
If you need us for anything, just
call, okay? Francesca, andiamo.
GUIDO
Grazie.
He sits on the side of the bed and puts his hand over
hers.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Carla, I should call your husband.
CARLA
No, he'll take me home.
GUIDO
What have you done to yourself? I'm
not worth dying for, Carla.
CARLA
Don't be angry with me. Everything I
do, I just want you to love me.
This comes out with enormous tenderness, as if she
suddenly understands herself.
CARLA (CONT'D)
When you're not here with me, I'm
still here. When you're in your life,
making your movies, dancing with your
wife - I'm still here.
Guido hears her. Knows what she's saying is true. She
looks at him.
GUIDO
Ssshh. You should rest. We'll talk
about everything in the morning...
He stands and pulls a sheet up over her.
p. 67
CARLA
(Clutching at him)
Don't leave me. Don't leave me.
Guido lies down next to her, she turns to face him.
GUIDO
Rest, rest. Cara mia...
FANTASY:
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
MAMMA (O.S.)
...Caro,caro mio.
...Young Guido is scaling the unfinished set, as Mamma
circles him from below. Hundreds of candles fill the
darkness.
Mamma intercepts Young Guido as he jumps down from the
spiral staircase and she swings him into her arms. She
sings playfully.
MAMMA (CONT'D)
GUARDA LA LUNA CHE BRILLA LASSU
HOW THE MOON GLOWS
AS IT SMILES OVER YOU
WHEN YOU'RE DREAMING
BLISSFULLY!
DREAMING, FLYING FREE!
INT. PENSIONE BEDROOM - NIGHT
Guido attempts to comfort Carla.
CARLA
My husband thinks I'm clever, that's
the strange thing, because I'm not,
well you know that, I spend too much
time in my little brain thinking about
you, about where you are, what you are
doing, what you dream of.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Mamma guides Young Guido through an all�e of candles.
MAMMA
OH, DREAM OF YOUR YOUTH
WHEN I'M STILL BY YOUR SIDE
DREAM OF YOUR MANHOOD,
PRAY I'M THERE TO GUIDE YOU
AND WHEN YOU GROW OLD
(MORE)
p. 68
MAMMA (CONT'D)
HOW MY LOVE STILL WILL SHINE
ALWAYS REMEMBER MY SON...
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE
MINE!
YES, MINE!
She gently spins Young Guido, and - as he completes the
turn - he is replaced by Older Guido. Mamma now waltzes
with her adult son.
MAMMA (CONT'D)
GUIDO
SAI CHE TI VOGLIO BENE,
FIGLIOLO MIO,
GUIDO
DO YOU THINK THAT SO MANY
WILL LOVE YOU
AS I DO?
Mamma caresses Guido's face. Guido pulls away.
Older Guido watches, as Mamma takes Young Guido up the
grand staircase.
MAMMA (CONT'D)
GUARDA LA LUNA,
SHE HANGS IN THE SKY
BEAMING HER BLESSING
TO MAKE YOU AND I KNOW THAT
THIS ONE GOODNIGHT KISS
WILL KEEP ALL YOUR LIFE
PERFECT LIKE THIS.
Mamma sits on the steps with Young Guido. He rests his
head in her lap.
Older Guido walks past them up the staircase.
GUIDO
Hold on to me, Mamma. Don't let me
wake from this.
He disappears into darkness.
INT. PENSIONE BEDROOM - DAY
Guido wakes. It's morning.
Carla looks very fragile as the first rays of sun touch
the room. Him, too. He rubs his face, hears voices.
He gets up, goes out to investigate.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE PENSIONE BEDROOM - DAY
Carla's husband, LUIGI, is talking with Matron on the
landing.
p. 69
Guido straightens himself up, approaches, as Matron
retreats to leave them alone. LUIGI is a nice,
dignified man. He's very anxious. He and Guido can't
really look at each other.
MATRON
Excuse me.
She leaves.
LUIGI
Is she okay?
GUIDO
Yes.
LUIGI
I'd like to take her home.
GUIDO
Of course. I'm sorry.
(hapless)
She loves you, you know that, don't
you.
LUIGI
She's my wife.
He walks into the room. Guido stands outside for a
second, then turns to go.
INT. GUIDO'S SUITE - DAY
The door is open as Guido enters. He's confused,
worried that Luisa has gone, perhaps. But then he sees
a figure moving about in the dressing room, emptying a
closet.
GUIDO
Darling?
Dante appears, stuffing Guido's things into a suitcase.
DANTE
We're going back to Rome.
GUIDO
(anxious)
Where's Luisa?
DANTE
Luisa? She's gone. She's had it with
you.
(different tone)
And quite frankly, so have I. You
drag a whole crew up here and then you
just disappear.
(MORE)
p. 70
DANTE (CONT'D)
I can't protect you anymore. And
Claudia is in Rome. Makeup tests start
today. Remember?
GUIDO
(sits)
I can't.
DANTE
You can't. You must. Don't sit down.
GUIDO
I need help.
DANTE
(still packing)
You've had help. You've seen the
doctors, you've seen the priests,
you've taken the cure.
GUIDO
I'm not cured.
DANTE
(decisive, no arguments)
That's enough! The movie calls, your
star has landed. Fausto - take his
things please.
Dante walks over to the door with the suitcase, passing
Fausto. A Bellboy and a luggage cart stand in the hall.
DANTE (CONT'D)
(impatient,
at the door)
Guido! Andiamo!
EXT. GATES OF CINECITTA - LATE AFTERNOON
Guido's Roadster approaches the gates. There are
PAPARAZZI gathered for the arrival of Claudia, for the
beginning of filming. They drive through, solemn faced,
ignoring the press.
GUIDO (O.S.)
I need more time.
DANTE (O.S.)
Forget the script. Claudia's here now.
She'll inspire you to do what you do
best, write with your camera.
p. 71
EXT. CINECITTA - LATE AFTERNOON
The whole energy of this return to Cinecitta is hectic,
people wanting to work, equipment waiting to work,
everybody and everything needing Guido's attention.
Guido drives towards the stages. Guido feels the
pressure that the whole studio is gearing up for a
movie that doesn't exist.
Guido is trying not to panic. He feels as if he's just
arrived in prison camp. He drives fast and straight to
Stage 4, and as they head towards the studio, they are
immediately swamped. Pierpaolo has a hundred requests
for Guido...
PIERPAOLO
Maestro, the screen tests are back
from the lab. Will you watch them now?
DANTE
Tonight. We'll watch everything
tonight and make some decisions.
PIERPAOLO
Design meeting? Production meeting?
DANTE
Tonight.
PIERPAOLO
Tonight.
Dante marches Guido towards the stage. Lilli joins
them.
LILLI
Claudia says where are you? She's in
fine form. Feisty.
GUIDO
(knows what that means)
Okay.
LILLI
She asked if she could read my script
as she didn't have one. I said I
didn't quite have mine.
Lilli peels off and joins her assistant Roberta at a
rack of costumes.
p. 72
INT. INSERT STAGE, CINECITTA - LATE AFTERNOON
A couple of huge cameras are being prepared, some
lights are being flown up into the grid, the LOADER is
preparing the Clapper Board. The Loader has created a
slate: ITALIA, CLAUDIA JENSSEN, HAIR AND MAKEUP TESTS.
The gang enters. Guido says a brisk hello to the crew,
then leaves the set quickly. Finds the studio
telephone behind the flats. He dials.
Guido waits. Luisa picks up the phone.
LUISA
Pronto.
GUIDO
Luisa, it's me. Please don't hang up.
(she doesn't respond)
I want you to be with me in the
screening room tonight. I want to talk
to you about the casting, about the
script. Everything...
INT. INSERT STAGE/CONTINI HOME - LATE AFTERNOON
INTERCUT, LUISA at home, listening, inscrutable.
GUIDO
Otherwise I won't be able to start, I
won't know what I'm thinking...
Luisa listens. Pierpaolo appears again, always the
same, needs him to start.
PIERPAOLO
Maestro.
Guido nods, waves him away.
GUIDO
Are you there? Luisa?
LUISA
Go on.
GUIDO
I'm not asking you to let me come
home, I just want you to come to the
screen test tonight. Not for me, but
for the movie. You always have, you
always do.
Luisa puts down the phone.
p. 73
Guido is in a mess.
INT. INSERT STAGE - EARLY EVENING
Guido walks forward and sits by the camera, as suddenly
there's a commotion at the studio door, and Lilli and
some of her assistants come through, silhouettes only,
followed by a tall figure, who demands the space around
her. As the others walk towards a holding area with
costumes, and wigs and all manner of items, the woman,
who is CLAUDIA, of course, simply walks into the light,
her home, and stands there waiting for Guido.
She looks stunning and glamorous. The epitome of a
Sixties movie star. Guido gets up and approaches
Claudia.
Pierpaolo acts as First Assistant Director.
PIERPAOLO
Silence please. Se gira. And we are
rolling.
Guido gets behind the camera and films Claudia's test.
GUIDO
Could you turn to the right please,
Claudia.
CLAUDIA
Yes, I can turn to my right.
GUIDO
And can you turn to the left.
CLAUDIA
Yes, I can turn to my left.
GUIDO
Now just one slow turn for us.
CLAUDIA
(she turns around)
Okay, one slow turn.
GUIDO
Bellissima. Brava. Cut.
PIERPAOLO
We've got it. Next costume please.
Makeup artists and costume assistants immediately
surround her, loosening her hair.
Dante is thrilled. Fausto is also mesmerised. She's a
star, that's the long and short of it.
p. 74
And she's warming up for a fight with her director.
Another litany of jibes, half-joking, but dangerous.
CLAUDIA
Has anybody got a script? Script
missing, handsome reward.... Lost, one
script, title Italia. Can't make a
film without it...
Lilli comes forward, puts a chinchilla fur coat on
Claudia, adjusts her hair.
CLAUDIA (CONT'D)
So interesting to do hair and makeup
for a part when you don't know what
the part is.
Guido adores her, her spirit, her feistiness.
CLAUDIA (CONT'D)
(shrugs off the coat)
No! I'm going back to my hotel now.
PIERPAOLO
(anxious)
But please, just a couple more
costumes, Claudia.
CLAUDIA
(to Guido)
I'm going back to my hotel now, my
darling, and when I there is a script,
I'll read it and then we'll take it
from there.
(calls over to Lilli)
I love the costumes, Lilli. They are
beautiful.
(back to the guys,
sweetly)
Ciao Bello.
GUIDO
That's fair.
DANTE
Claudia!
GUIDO
(to Dante)
That's fair.
DANTE
Fair?
GUIDO
I'll be back.
p. 75
Guido races after Claudia, taking the chinchilla coat
from Lilli with him. Opportunity for escape.
DANTE
(calling to Guido)
You've got dailies, Guido.
GUIDO
I'll be right back.
DANTE
(shouting)
You've got meetings.
EXT. CINECITTA - NIGHT
Guido drives Claudia towards the gates, which swing
open. The paparazzi are in waiting and swarm the car,
flashbulbs popping, men clambering onto the car for a
picture of the Star driving away with her Director.
Lots of shouting and pleas, lots of remonstration from
Guido. They drive away, and are immediately followed
by a posse of photographers on their mopeds and Vespas
and little cars.
INT. CAR, ROME OUTSKIRTS - NIGHT
Guido's Roadster roars away, the papparazzi posse
following. Guido glances at Claudia, loves having her
in the car, she's such a class act. He's always
inspired. He's driving fast but distracted by her.
GUIDO
You look ravishing.
CLAUDIA
You're not seeing me, you're seeing
Lilli's wigs and makeup, I'm somewhere
hidden underneath.
Guido's a good driver and weaves in and out of the
traffic. So do the posse, but as the road opens up,
they can't keep up with him and he manages to overtake
a car, they speed after him.
EXT. MEDIEVAL LANES, TRASTEVERE - NIGHT
Guido stops the car by some narrow streets in the
Trastevere, just south of the Vatican. They watch the
photographers hurtle past in search of them.
They sit for a second.
p. 76
GUIDO
It's good to see you.
CLAUDIA
I'm assuming that's code for there's
no script.
Guido is exasperated.
GUIDO
Why is everybody so suddenly obsessed
with the script?
Claudia listens. She's always seduced by the way he
speaks, his passion. They fall in love with each other
in every movie, that's the way of it. Guido lights a
cigarette.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
Talk to the people who love you in our
films, they're not interested in my
script! They're interested in the way
you turn your head, the way the camera
looks past you to the moon... the way
you smile a little as you cry, the way
you really do blush for the camera -
how?! -
(enough examples, sighs)
who even knows, but whatever else it
is, it's not my script.
Guido has no confidence in what he's saying anymore.
They get out of the car and begin to walk away. It's
almost deserted here.
CLAUDIA
So Lilli says I'm playing a million
different parts -
GUIDO
Not a million - you're the muses, the
incredible women who made Italy what
it is today, a country run by men -
who are themselves run by women,
whether they know it or not.
CLAUDIA
(teasing him)
So I'm the women behind the great men?
GUIDO
(trying hard to tell the
truth)
The great women...
(MORE)
p. 77
GUIDO (CONT'D)
In a way - yes - you have this man in
the story and he's, he wants to take
hold of everything, to devour
everything, he can't let anything go,
or, he doesn't want to, and he changes
direction every day, because he's
lost, he's dying, he's bleeding to
death...
CLAUDIA
(deflating)
And these muses - they fall in love
with the man?
GUIDO
Exactly! They fall in love with him.
CLAUDIA
(decisive)
I'd rather be the man.
GUIDO
What?
CLAUDIA
I'd rather be the man.
She grabs his hat, puts it on her head. Saunters down
the road. He follows.
FANTASY:
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
CLAUDIA
IN A VERY UNUSUAL WAY,
ONE TIME I NEEDED YOU,
IN A VERY UNUSUAL WAY,
YOU WERE MY FRIEND.
MAYBE IT LASTED A DAY,
MAYBE IT LASTED AN HOUR,
BUT SOMEHOW IT WILL NEVER END.
EXT. MEDIEVAL LANES, TRASTEVERE - NIGHT
CLAUDIA
These women who come off their
pedestals for a kiss - they're just
fantasies.
GUIDO
No, you misunderstand...
p. 78
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
CLAUDIA
IN A VERY UNUSUAL WAY,
I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU,
IN A VERY UNUSUAL WAY,
I WANT TO CRY.
SOMETHING INSIDE ME GOES WEAK,
SOMETHING INSIDE ME SURRENDERS,
AND YOU'RE THE REASON WHY,
YOU'RE THE REASON WHY.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DO TO ME.
YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE.
YOU CAN'T TELL WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ME
LOOKING AT YOU.
IT SCARES ME SO THAT I CAN HARDLY
SPEAK.
EXT. MEDIEVAL LANES, TRASTEVERE - NIGHT
GUIDO
She's his inspiration.
CLAUDIA
I can't keep playing that part.
GUIDO
I fall in love with you every time.
CLAUDIA
When there's a camera between us.
GUIDO
No.
CLAUDIA
It's not a real person, Guido.
(pointed)
And this man you describe - he doesn't
know how to love.
CLAUDIA (O.S.) (CONT'D)
IN A VERY UNUSUAL WAY,
I OWE WHAT I AM TO YOU.
EXT. PIAZZA WITH FOUNTAIN - NIGHT
Claudia heads towards a little Piazza with an ancient
fountain in the centre of the square. The Piazza is
empty except for a few cars parked where the entrances
have been blocked off. Claudia steps up onto the
fountain.
p. 79
GUIDO
There was a time once, we were on
location, some terrible hotel - and
you were in the room directly above me
and I could hear you walking about...
Guido sits down at the edge of the fountain.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
...and, all through the night, I
wanted to rush up the stairs and
hammer on your door until you opened.
CLAUDIA
And why didn't you?
GUIDO
I don't know. I don't know.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
CLAUDIA
SPECIAL TO ME IN MY LIFE,
SINCE THE FIRST DAY THAT I MET YOU.
HOW COULD I EVER FORGET YOU,
ONCE YOU HAD TOUCHED MY SOUL.
IN A VERY UNUSUAL WAY,
YOU'VE MADE ME WHOLE.
EXT. PIAZZA WITH FOUNTAIN - NIGHT
Claudia leaves behind the hat on the fountain and moves
closer to Guido. The music continues.
CLAUDIA
Maybe you should have knocked, maybe
you should have knocked me right off
the pedestal. I can't do this
anymore.
She takes off her wig and diamond earrings.
CLAUDIA (CONT'D)
This is me. And you have a wife who
loves you.
She hands him the wig and the earrings. She kisses
him.
CLAUDIA (CONT'D)
I'll miss you. Wrong girl.
The music ends. Claudia turns and walks away.
p. 80
INT. SCREENING ROOM, CINECITTA - NIGHT
A screen, the leader of a film reel, numbers counting
down, the synch pop on 3, and Claudia appears on the
screen, looking extraordinary from the hair and makeup
test. People start to comment, all enthusiastically.
Guido gets a cigarette off Pierpaolo and lights up.
DANTE
(to Lilli)
Great work, Lilli... Wonderful
costume...
LILLI
Thank you.
DANTE
...and the hair, makeup, fantastic.
Guido watches, sitting alone, he turns around as he
sees someone come in the door, but it's Gianluca, not
Luisa.
BENITO
She has a beautiful profile.
DANTE
Two great profiles.
FAUSTO
She's a goddess.
DANTE
And the back isn't too bad.
FAUSTO
She came directly from Venus.
Beautiful.
DANTE
Fantastic. Guido? Really nice.
Who's next?
BENITO
Actresses.
DANTE
Okay. Let's see the actresses.
The reel finishes. The lights come up, to excited
chatter, he looks at Lilli a row or two behind him, she
shrugs sympathetically.
The room goes dark, the next reel begins. Guido turns
back to look at the screen.
p. 81
During the reel, Dante is very decisive... shouts out,
as the women appear.
They come on, one after the other, say their names.
Guido gives them things to do. Pick up the phone and
argue with your lover. No, make him laugh. Make him
want you. Walk towards the camera as if you were
frightened. As if you were angry. ON ELEANORA - very
angry on the phone:
BENITO
If we like her, we have to call her
agent right away. Everybody wants her
right now.
DANTE
Well they can keep her.
BENITO
She's a very funny actress.
DANTE
She's peculiar. You don't like her
Guido?
Next actress: ILARIA. Someone comes in the door.
Guido turns and sees it's Luisa, sitting next to Lilli.
She's come. He turns back to the screen.
Another actress appears. It's Donatella. Very
nervous. She says her name. Guido instructs her. She
tries the phone, the walks. She's not a natural.
Luisa finds the gentle humor in this situation. She
looks at Guido. A little smile. He feels it like
sunshine. He turns back to the screen.
DANTE (CONT'D)
She's nice.
FAUSTO
She's very natural.
DANTE
Even better. She's a bit nervous
here. What do you say, Guido?
Donatella's nice?
Another girl: ALESSIA. Very striking. Keeps looking
out past the camera, getting sotto voce instructions
from Guido. Her hair is in a chignon. She begins her
improv, but Guido interrupts her, suddenly appears in
front of the camera. Approaches her, and undoes the
chignon, freeing her hair. She's beautiful and
innocent. Guido says something to her, a whisper. But
what he says and how he says it, the smile it provokes,
goes like a dagger to Luisa.
p. 82
DANTE (CONT'D)
Who's this? I thought we were looking
for a blonde.
FAUSTO
She's too tall.
DANTE
Very tall.
BENITO
She's very beautiful.
DANTE
It's not the point. Guido wants the
blonde.
FAUSTO
She's not bad, but -
DANTE
Shh.
FAUSTO
She's beautiful.
DANTE
She's too beautiful. For my tastes.
As the reel finishes... and the lights come up.
DANTE (CONT'D)
I don't know what Guido thinks. I
think we are happy with Donatella.
Donatella's better, isn't she?
GUIDO
Sure.
DANTE
(delighted, jumps up)
Great. Anyway, fantastic day, but we
have to go home. We have a very, very
busy day tomorrow. Thank you very much
everybody. Thank you. Okay, well
done.
The screening room empties, a lot of mutual
congratulations on good work, especially to Lilli, and
a hug or a handshake from almost everybody for Luisa.
Lilli kisses her, leaves. Just the two of them now,
husband and wife, several rows apart in the empty
screening room.
GUIDO
It meant so much to us all. That you
came.
(MORE)
p. 83
GUIDO (CONT'D)
(nothing from Luisa)
What did you think? Did you like
anybody or -?
(nothing)
Luisa?
FANTASY:
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
THE BEAT OF A STRIPPER'S DRUM.
A gloved hand emerges from behind a beaded curtain,
beckoning. The curtain opens, revealing the silhouette
of a figure bathed in red light.
Guido sits in an audience of raucous men who have
filled all the seats around him. They start to whistle
as if they were at some sleazy club. Guido squirms,
trapped.
The figure steps forward. It's Luisa, tricked out like
a seedy nightclub stripper.
LUISA
YOU WANT MY LOVE?
TAKE IT ALL
YOU WANT TO WATCH IT ALL COME OFF?
TAKE IT ALL
COME ON NOW
SHOW ME HOW
YOU TAKE IT ALL...
INT. SCREENING ROOM, CINECITTA - NIGHT
LUISA
Thank you.
GUIDO
(encouraged)
What for?
LUISA
Thank you for reminding me I'm not
special. You don't even see what you
do, do you? Even the moments I think
are ours, it's just you working to get
what you want.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
Luisa strips.
p. 84
LUISA
YOU WANT MY GLOVE?
ARE YOU ENTHRALLED?
YOU WANT TO SEE IT SLIP AWAY
AND WATCH IT FALL?
OH WE KNOW
IT'S YOUR SHOW
SO TAKE IT ALL
INT. SCREENING ROOM, CINECITTA - NIGHT
GUIDO
(dawning on him)
What are you talking about?
He stands up, leans on the chair back.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
The screen test? You have to
understand, it's nothing, this is what
I do, I direct. That's my job.
Guido stands up straight.
LUISA
And this is our life. You think to
create is to forgive yourself in
public. Fine. But don't think I can
forgive you in private, because I
can't ever.
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
As the strip becomes more raw, Luisa defiantly exposes
her body and her contempt for Guido. Guido watches,
humiliated.
LUISA
SO GO AHEAD
TAKE IT ALL
YOU WANT MY SOUL?
TAKE IT ALL!
IT'S TIME TO LEAVE.
IF I'M TO LIVE.
BECAUSE I HAVE NO MORE,
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE...
Instrumental.
Luisa charges into the audience: she is mauled and
assaulted by the men.
p. 85
LUISA (CONT'D)
I WATCH YOU RISE!
I WATCH YOU FALL!
WHILE I AM STANDING
WITH MY BACK AGAINST THE WALL
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN
TO FINALLY LEARN
YOU HAD THE WORLD
YOU HAD YOUR FLING
YOU WANTED MORE THAN EVERYTHING
YOU GOT YOUR WISH
YOU GOT YOUR PRIZE
NOW TAKE IT RIGHT BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS
YOU GRABBED FOR EVERYTHING MY FRIEND
BUT DON'T YOU SEE
THAT IN THE END
THERE WILL BE
NOTHING!
INT. SCREENING ROOM, CINECITTA - NIGHT
LUISA
You're just an appetite, and if you
stopped being greedy you'd die. You
take everything, and I'm empty.
Luisa gets up from her chair, heads to the exit door.
LUISA (CONT'D)
You know, I'm glad I came. I can see
now... it's hopeless...
Luisa leaves. Guido is left alone.
The room goes dark as the screen tests, on a loop,
start up again.
Guido walks into the flickering light of the
projector...
GUIDO
What have I done? What have I done,
Luisa?
INT. "SOUNDSTAGE"
...He sits silhouetted by the harsh white beams.
GUIDO
I CAN'T MAKE THIS MOVIE,
THERE'S NO WAY THAT I'LL BEGIN IT.
I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE THE CAMERAS ROLL.
PROBLEM IS THE SUBJECT,
THERE'S NO PLEASANT WAY TO TREAT IT.
(MORE)
p. 86
GUIDO (CONT'D)
THE PROBLEM IS THE AUTHOR'S LOST
CONTROL.
HOW I WISH IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE SO,
BUT WE CUT THE LOSSES-STARTING NOW
STRIKE THE SET AND KEEP IT FOR SOME
SIDESHOW.
TELL THE CAST AND CREW THAT THEY CAN
ALL GO.
Guido stands and walks towards the image on the screen.
He violently rips the screen to the ground.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
FIND ANOTHER GENIUS,
I CAN'T BE ONE OR BECOME ONE.
I CAN'T EVEN TELL HOW I'D BEGIN.
HELP LUISA, HELP ME, HELP ME MAMMA,
HELP ME SOMEONE.
HERE'S A PLACE WHERE I HAVE NEVER
BEEN.
GUIDO OUT IN SPACE
WITH NO DIRECTION,
GUIDO AT A LOSS FOR WHAT TO SAY,
GUIDO WITH NO INTERVENING ACTORS,
GUIDO AT THE MERCY OF DETRACTORS,
GUIDO HERE, WITH NO ONE ELSE BUT...
NOTHING HOLDS TOGETHER
NOTHING MAKES A BIT OF SENSE NOW
IMPOSSIBLE TO GRASP OR UNDERSTAND
HOW CAN I GO ON TO WATCH THE WHOLE OF
MY EXISTENCE
END UP BEING NOTHING THAT I PLANNED
HAVE I LOST MYSELF AND ALL I WISHED
FOR
HAS MY LIFE BECOME A MINDLESS GAME
GUIDO, I CAN'T STAND THE NAME OF GUIDO
GUIDO, FOR GODSAKE,
WHO IS THIS GUIDO?
GUIDO HERE, WITH NO ONE ELSE BUT
GUIDO...
Guido collapses to his knees.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
(honest)
I destroyed everything, Mamma...
Suddenly, his mother appears.
GUIDO (CONT'D)
...I destroyed everything, I just...
you make one wrong turn and then
because of that, after it all the
turns are wrong. And you are so far
from where you wanted to be...and
you're lost and then you're lost.
p. 87
MAMMA
No one can help you find your way.
(a beat)
It's up to you, Guido. Up to you.
Nobody else.
In Guido's face, a soulful recognition that what she's
said is true.
INT. CINECITTA, STAGE 5 - DAY
A HUGE CRASH...
...A large piece of Guido's set comes crashing down.
Dante and Guido walk through the empty soundstage,
leaving behind the set which is being dismantled by a
group of construction workers.
GUIDO (O.S.)
Old friends, I have to come clean with
you.
INT. PRODUCTION OFFICES, CINECITTA - DAY
REALITY. Guido faces his production team. This is
hard for him.
GUIDO
There is no movie. I can't pretend
anymore. We have to stop.
(nothing more to say)
I'm sorry.
There is silence in the room.
EXT. CINECITTA, STAGE 5 - DAY
The metal soundstage door opens as Guido and Dante walk
through and into the sunlight. Guido is defeated. He
stops at his car and turns to Dante. Guido gets in his
car. Guido drives away. Dante watches him go.
EXT. BEACH - ANGUILLARA - AFTERNOON
A cold wind blows. A lonely figure (GUIDO) walks along
a deserted beach.
SUPERTITLE: Anguillara, Italy, 2 years later
p. 88
EXT. BEACH CAFE, ANGUILLARA - AFTERNOON
It's the end of the season. Only a few customers left
in the cafe, as the waiters close up for the day,
pulling down umbrellas, stacking tables.
Guido's changed, bearded, hair longer and unkempt.
Haggard. He looks out to sea, alone, as the waves
crash to and fro. A newspaper sits open in front of
him. Scribbles and heavy markings circle an ad for a
theater production in Rome. Guido gets up at this
moment, starts to leave, hesitates, takes the paper,
folds it under his arm, and exits the restaurant.
He heads up the steps towards the promenade and we
catch a glimpse of the profound regret in his eyes -
EXT. ROME, THEATER - NIGHT
Guido waits, nervous, in a doorway across the street
from a theatre that's presenting the Pirandello play,
DIANA E LA TUDA, starring LUISA ACARI.
Luisa exits the theatre with the company of actors, all
of them plaited together in post-performance bonhomie.
Guido watches from a distance.
Luisa takes the arm of a handsome male, as they cross
and head down the street.
EXT. ANGUILLARA STREETS - DAY
Guido and Lilli walk along the waterfront. People pass
by occasionally. They talk -
LILLI
I'm glad she's acting again. I made
her costumes for the play. She's
funny.
GUIDO
She seemed so happy. I didn't want to
interfere... Is she with anybody?
LILLI
Guido, she's my friend. I'm not her
mother. I don't know. I expect so.
Nobody likes to be alone. Promise me
you're going to let me cut your hair
and get rid of that awful beard.
p. 89
GUIDO
I like to get about without everybody
pointing at me.
LILLI
And where are you getting about?
GUIDO
Nowhere. Here. I walk. Just to be
able to walk.
LILLI
Are you seeing anybody?
GUIDO
No, no. Nobody.
LILLI
(teasing)
Well, it sounds exciting. Walking
around and not seeing anyone, growing
a beard. I might come up here and
join you.
GUIDO
Don't tease me, Lilli. My heart is -
LILLI
- I know.
GUIDO
I just miss her. I should have IDIOT
tattooed on my forehead.
LILLI
Luisa certainly thinks so.
GUIDO
(grasping at this)
Does she? Did she really say that?
LILLI
Stop! I'm not going to act as a
postman between you both. Come back
to Rome. Make a movie. Go to work.
He sits. Lilli joins him.
GUIDO
No. Never. I've spent this time
trying to learn something, Lilli, to
not be the person who forgets about
everybody else, the person who never
grew up.
p. 90
LILLI
You're such a dope, aren't you?
Making movies wasn't your problem. You
were your problem. Don't stop being
a child. You'll never make another
movie! Nobody wants that...
especially Luisa.
She indicates the people who pass.
LILLI (CONT'D)
Guido - there probably isn't a single
person passing by who hasn't been
touched in some way by one of your
movies. That's your gift. That's what
you've been given. Use it. Just use it
with some grace. For Chrissake.
GUIDO
(doubtful)
The only movie I could make now would
be... I don't know... would be about a
man trying to win back his wife.
LILLI
Sounds perfect.
(after a beat)
The costumes might not be so bad too.
FLASH: Lights from a makeup mirror. A glimpse of a
female eye applying false eyelashes.
FLASH: A man of the collar applies pancake makeup,
while a cigarette dangles from his lips.
Young Guido, 9, appears and whispers into Guido's ear.
YOUNG GUIDO
We're ready to begin!
INT. FANTASY DRESSING ROOMS
A surreal backstage, the cast of Guido's life, whores,
models, schoolboys, priests, etc. A show about to
begin.
The music of "Be Italian/Folies Bergere" plays and
builds throughout.
People run past with props, lights, etc. Showgirls are
hurrying. A beautiful confusion.
p. 91
EXT. STAGE 5, CINECITTA - DAY
Guido pulls up in his car outside the soundstage. He
stops the engine, and sits for a moment in silence.
Summoning his courage, he gets out of the car. He is
greeted by Pierpaolo. He seems to need and acknowledge
his support. Pierpaolo is tender.
GUIDO
I can't remember how you do this.
PIERPAOLO
You'll remember.
INT. FANTASY DRESSING ROOMS
The camera moves through the backstage mayhem.
Mamma is in her dressing room preparing. Saraghina is
sharing a dressing room with a Priest. He is helping
with her corset. Carla and Luigi. Carla fixes her
husband's hair. Claudia and Stephanie smoke and talk.
Lilli adjusts her own, and other men's wardrobe.
INT. STAGE 5, FILM SET, CINECITTA - DAY
Guido is in his element again, locked in passionate
discussion with an ACTOR and an ACTRESS. In his hand,
an actual script. The set surrounding them is modest;
a tiny bedroom with a single window and rumpled sheets.
The vast film Italia has clearly given way to something
smaller, and perhaps truer: the tale of a man and a
woman.
GUIDO
I don't want to say too much. The
first way that we kill our film is by
talking about it. But this scene is
about reconciliation. And within the
scene I would like you to try and find
your way to begin that journey back
towards each other.
INT. FANTASY DRESSING ROOMS
Young Guido rushes by the dressing rooms.
YOUNG GUIDO
Presto! Presto! Take your places!
Andiamo! Andiamo!
The dressing rooms begin to empty.
p. 92
INT. STAGE 5, FILM SET, CINECITTA - DAY
From high above on the soundstage catwalk, Young Guido
watches Older Guido at work.
GUIDO
(Continuing to speak to
his actors)
Maybe it's the most important building
block that we have to begin again...
We start from the beginning each time
and I feel today as if I'm starting
from the beginning. We'll just keep
asking each other questions, and don't
look to me for the answers, okay?
On cue, Young Guido opens the door behind him and
ushers in THE CAST OF GUIDO'S LIFE. They enter with a
sense of anticipation and excitement and arrange
themselves on the staircases and scaffolding that loom
behind Guido. They are all dressed in angelic white.
But Guido is oblivious, focused instead on the task
that lies ahead. He talks to his cameraman. Puts down
his script. He takes off his jacket and hangs his
glasses off his sweater, stands contemplating the set
in front of him.
PIERPAOLO
Maestro, should I call final checks?
GUIDO
Yes.
PIERPAOLO
Makeup, please! Final checks!
A LONG WIDE PAN reveals a tableau vivant looming behind
Guido like a glorious choir, his every muse, his every
inspiration. They watch him as he begins to work. A
part of him now and forever.
Guido sits on the crane.
The soundstage door opens, and we see a small figure
slip quietly onto the set. Tentatively, she steps
through the shadows. It's Luisa. From a discreet
distance, she watches her husband return to his gift.
Pierpaolo calls for silence.
PIERPAOLO (CONT'D)
Alora. Silencio per favore. Silence
please.
(to camera)
Gyriamo. E alora motore!
p. 93
CLOSE UP ON THE CLAPBOARD. WORKING TITLE: NINE. DIR:
G. CONTINI.
As the clapboard strikes.
CLAPPER LOADER
Slate.
At the last moment, Young Guido runs fast, down the
maze of steps, across the soundstage and jumps onto the
crane with Guido as it begins to rise. Luisa watches.
As the last note plays, the crane soars higher,
carrying Guido up and up.
GUIDO
ACTION.
CUT TO BLACK.
Nine
Writers : Michael Tolkin Anthony Minghella
Genres : Drama Musical Romance
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Sons of Anarchy 1. Chapter 1
**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own, except for Gillian who belongs to the wonderful Superdani. Thanks for your collaboration Sweetheart!
**
**Chapter One**
"Come on Dixie, it's not that bad." I pleaded as Dixie grabbed her stuff and angrily marched toward the door.
"Not that bad? He slept with me then said it was just 'fun'. I like you Milla but I can't be around that…that…player." She turned on her heel and slammed the door behind her. Great, now I had to find a new nurse.
I sighed in defeat and went into the living room. Damn Koz. I was finally alone for the first time in weeks and I relished it. I just had to be sure not to over exert myself. I was on a portable heart monitor and if it spiked I'd be treated like a child. I'd just gotten people to trust me again so I didn't want that to happen. I turned the TV on and turned it to the Food Network, it was my go to channel. As I watched Guy Fieri eat a sandwich that was unhealthily big but looked delicious, the doorbell rang and I sighed. So much for enjoying time to myself. I turned down the volume and hoisted myself up. As I made my way to the door I sighed again, damn my lower back hurt. The doorbell rang again and I got frustrated, couldn't people be patient?
"Hold tight, I'm coming!" I yelled as I got closer to the door. Once there I looked through the peephole and was shocked by who I saw. I wasted no time opening the door and my guest looked just as shocked as I was.
"Milla? You live here?" Gillian, the most competent nurse at St. Thomas and object of Koz's insane stalkerish affection was standing on the stoop.
"Yeah, have for a while." I gave her a smile and she blushed. "What can I help you with Gillian?"
"Umm, it's about my car. Koz said I could pick up some paperwork here since I couldn't make it to the garage." She blushed brighter when she said his name and I bit my cheek to keep from laughing, the girl had it as bad as he did.
"Come in, I'll check for the paperwork." She nodded and I walked her into the living room where I was sure there was a folder Koz set down. "Sit down, I'll be with you once I find it."
She nodded and sat on the couch while I went to the rolltop desk in the corner which was my current work station and found the folder I was thinking of. Just a simple manila one with a single smudge in the corner which proved it was from TM. I'd been barred from TM and the clubhouse ever since I punched some croweater skank and broke her nose. Well I was barred because the incident had caused an unhealthy spike in my heart monitor…but still. What was I supposed to do? She called my man a fairy and said that he was probably currency on the inside. She didn't know how close to home that hit so I hit her. With a shake of my head I picked up the folder and flipped through it, inside there was the order slip for the two tires and an insurance slip which she needed to sign and send into her company and a workorder which she needed to sign and we'd take the original. It was very simple paper work.
"I found it." I turned around and saw Gillian staring at the entertainment system with the huge flatscreen at the center and various game consoles and different kinds of media players. It had taken me about a month but I finally figured out how to work the damn thing. Now when Ellie, Kenny and Piper wanted to play Wii they could. And Koz already knew how to use the PS3 and Xbox. I almost rolled my eyes as I thought about how much time and effort Juice put into making everything perfect. He measured the space down to the millimeter and spent hours calibrating everything from the soundsystem down to the playback speed on the dvd player. The only thing he put more time into was his bike and that made me smile. In reality what he put the most time and effort into was _us_ so I could give him a pass on the technolust.
"Thanks. Do you use all that stuff?" She pointed to the entertainment center and I smiled as I sat in the chair next to the couch. With my belly I tended to spread out when I sat and I didn't want to crowd my guest.
"I don't but the kids are here all the time and Koz likes to play on the Xbox and have Mariocart tournaments with Chantal. I can't really participate with this." I gestured to my arm and she nodded. I knew that she knew my file backwards and forwards, she was that thorough. "I'm being a terrible hostess, would you like something to drink?"
"Don't put yourself to any trouble on my account." She said and I shook my head. The least I could do was make her comfortable.
"No problem, the kitchen's just through that door. We have bottled water, different kinds of soda, orange, apple and grape juice and of course brews. Anything sound good?" I asked and she smiled.
"I guess I'll have some water." I nodded as I hoisted myself up and went into the kitchen. As I was rummaging through the fridge I heard a bike pull up followed by a little girl's voice and I grimaced. Ellie shouldn't have been home, it was barely eleven.
There was a knock at the kitchen door and I sighed before I went across the room and opened it. Standing there was an angry Ellie and an equally belligerent Opie. I gasped when I saw my baby's face. She had the start of what promised to be one hell of a black eye.
"Milla? Where's Dixie?" Opie was well aware of my staff's schedule. Juice had him held to the same promise as Koz and Paco. They were in charge of keeping me and Baby Ortiz happy and healthy.
"She took off, now please tell me what happened to my Elliedoll." I reached out my arm and Ellie moved into the safety of my arms before her Dad continued.
"Shit, you're alone?" I gave him a glare and he sighed but he was still angry. "Little Miss Anger Management got into a fight with this boy. He said shit about SAMCRO so she went at him. The little bastard punched her."
"Why are you mad at her? She was defending her family." I rubbed her back while she sniffled and Ope sighed again.
"Brains before brawn Milla. It would've been fine if she hadn't thrown the first punch. I don't know where she got the strength from but she knocked out three of his teeth." There was the ghost of a smile on his face before he continued, still playing the hardass. "I brought her here because I have to go to Oakland for a meet with some contacts and Lyla's at that financing thing so I thought between you and Dixie she'd have someone to watch her."
"Of course, I have a guest right now but Ellie knows where everything is and how to use it." Ellie nodded before she had me lean over and she kissed my cheek. With one last glare at her Dad she ran behind me and I could hear her talking in the living room.
"Who's your guest?" Opie was on alert. He obviously thought I was at risk being alone.
"Koz's girl, Gillian." I smirked when I thought of all the shit he pulled to simply get to know her and she was not making things easy for him.
"Ah, the nurse who's been making him a fool. I'd love to say hi, but I gotta run Mills. I'll have Lyla pop over when she's done. Until then stay away from the windows and don't be surprised if you hear bikes driving by." I nodded and he started to turn before I stopped him.
"Did you hear anything about Putlova?" I was nervous. Part of the reason I was never alone was my health but a larger, harsher reason stemmed from the fact that Putlova and the whole Russian crew wanted revenge and were not picky about how they got it. Me being so entangled with key members of SAMCRO painted a nice target on my forehead.
"Whispers in Lodi, I want you safe Milla. I don't care if we have to have another lockdown but nothing's going to happen to our women again. But for now stay inside, stay safe and take care of Ellie. I know you're gonna spoil her so I won't even waste my breath telling you not to." It made me laugh and I watched him swing his leg onto his bike and head down the driveway.
I turned and picked up the water bottle from the kitchen table. It was slightly warmer so I went to the fridge and got her a new one before I went into the living room. I was glad that I went when I did because I was suddenly privy to what had to be the most hilariously awkward conversation I'd ever heard in my life.
"Are you gonna marry Uncle Koz?" I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing at the completely shocked deer-in-headlights look on Gillian's face.
"Umm, ah I..don't.." She sputtered and Ellie paid it no mind as she continued.
"If you don't that's ok. Aunt Milla didn't marry Uncle Juice for a long time and Uncle Bobby hasn't married any of his girlfriends. You should have a baby though, they're fun and Espy and Abel are gonna need friends who understand this life. I'm Espy's Auntie, it's my job to make sure she's happy and I know she'd like any kids that you had. Don't have a boy though; they don't know how to be anything other than asses." I stared at her in shock shock but not before I noticed the sad look on Gillian's eyes, as I moved into the living room.
"Elizabeth Marianne Winston, language." I admonished her but I knew my smile took the power of it away.
"It's true, they are!" She countered before she turned back to Gillian who grabbed the water from my hand and drank it in an effort to compose herself. "If you want a baby, just have sex. It's the only way to do it. That stork stuff is bullshit."
"Ellie! That's enough! Watch your language. You don't talk like this in school do you?" I wanted to save Gillian from any more embarrassment but from the bright red face she was sporting I could see she'd weathered the worst of it.
"No I don't. Grampa says that there's a time and a place for bad language and school isn't the time or the place. Lyla doesn't mind if I swear." There was just enough truth to it that I knew I'd have to talk to Lyla about it later.
"Well I do, why don't you go to the nursery and check out the new rocking chair Uncle Koz picked up?" She nodded and got off the couch. I watched her run down the hall before I shook my head. "Sorry about that she's normally a really good kid but things have been tough for her lately."
"What happened to her eye?" Gillian asked as she took a sip of her water and I sighed as I rubbed my eyes.
"She got in a fight with a boy at school. I didn't get into all the reasons or the punishments but she's fine." Gillian nodded as I reached my hand to the back of my neck and rubbed.
"You ok?" She sat up and looked closely at me while I nodded.
"Yeah, just stress." She got up and took my hand away before she started rubbing my neck. It felt really good so I let her continue and by the time she was done the stress was gone. It was the best massage I'd had since Juice went in.
"That better?" She asked as she pressed her thumb to a spot at the back of my neck.
"Yeah, that's fabulous." I smiled at her and she smiled back before she turned and picked up the envelope.
"I should be going. I have to get to my insurance company with this, and then enjoy the rest of the time off that I have today. Thanks for the water .Tell Ellie it was wonderful to meet her. And please, don't fight with her too much just because she got into a fight with a boy. I'm sure there was a reason for it. She was just defending herself." Suddenly I got a crazy thought and I grabbed her arm as she passed, not missing her flinch but she composed herself.
"Wait. I have to ask you something." She looked expectantly at me and I continued, "Have you ever done freelance work?"
"What?" She looked confused and I released her before I elaborated.
"My fill-in nurse just abandoned me this morning and I need someone to fill in odd spots in the schedule." She gave me a considering look.
"I don't know, I just started at St. Thomas and am trying to find a place for myself here. Taking on an extra job may be too much." I nodded, it made sense but I wanted her to consider it.
"Just think about it. It would just be a few hours a week, sitting with me, making sure I don't over exert myself. Just stuff like that. Besides it would be nice to have a female presence around here. Koz can be a bit overwhelming." She smiled despite herself before she gave herself a little shake and put a hand on my shoulder.
"I'll think about it. Thanks for the water." I got up and walked her out, giving a little wave as she walked down the street. I liked her and hoped that Koz didn't do anything stupid enough to scare her away.
"Elliedoll!" I shouted as I went to sit on the couch again.
"Yeah!" She shouted from the nursery.
"Wanna watch _Suite Life_?" She didn't even respond she just came bounding down the hall and joined me on the couch where we cuddled. I'd get the whole story later but right now I could just enjoy being with her.
* * *
"You're good to go." The guard said as he handed me back my ID and put his metal detecting wand thingy back in its holster.
"Thanks." I put the ID back in my pocket and went to stand by Tara while we waited for the doors to unlock and let us into the private room. Koz, Opie and Chibs were standing in a different group since the family meetings took priority.
Stahl had been a smart, calculating bitch when she'd worked out her deal for Jax. Due to the bad blood SAMCRO had managed to accumulate with the just about every group inside the prison walls it had been decided that they would be in protective custody away from gen pop. Stahl in that calculating way of hers had ensured that the boys would be safe and secured and I was grateful for the foresight but not enough to wish her back into the land of the living.
"You ok babe?" Koz asked as he moved away from Opie and placed his arm across my shoulders.
"Yeah, this just never gets easy, seeing him in the jumpsuit, not being able to touch him. That's the hardest thing. Fucking federal prisons." I grumbled and he squeezed me tighter. Suddenly there was the telltale noise of the locks being disengaged and Koz pulled away as we waited to be brought in. I straightened my shirt and smoothed my khakis as I waited for the guard with the clipboard.
"Millicent Ortiz?" The big guard asked and I nodded as he took my id again and put it next to the list. "Ok, you get to visit Jean Carlos Ortiz, for the duration of one hour. Sign this sheet and I will lead you in."
I nodded and signed the sheet before he nodded and let me go into the meeting room. Juice was at one table, Dad at the next and Jax in the corner. In the next row there was Bobby and Tig. Happy was conspicuously absent and it made me nervous but that nervousness was overshadowed by the joy I felt when I saw my husband. He grinned and I felt an answering smile on my face. I looked at each of the guys and nodded before I sat down and had to rub my palm against my pants, my hands were literally itching to touch Juice.
"You look so good baby." Juice said and I watched him flex his hands, he was feeling the same itch.
"You look pretty good yourself. Any more trouble?" The last time I visited he'd pissed off another guy in protective custody and had gotten knocked around a little.
"Nah, Clay fixed things. What did the doctor say?" I believed him that Dad fixed things and I had no doubt that that was the reason Hap was missing.
"Dr. Nior wants to have more control over my labor so we've decided to induce on the 13th, which is coincidentally a Friday." I grinned at him and he shook his head.
"Only you would do that baby. How are you? The heart, the blood-pressure?" Great, another visit wasted on medical talk.
"Baby, you can have Lowen give you the run down on my medical status. I'm sitting here across from you, I'm not hooked up to an IV, my monitor's been off for two days. What does that say?" He let out a breath I didn't know he'd been holding and reached across the table before he stopped himself and darted his hand back to his lap.
"I should be there with you baby, rubbing your back, reading to the baby. I'm so sorry." I shook my head and wanted nothing more than to have him in my arms.
"Every time, every fucking time you bring this up. Baby, don't be sorry. I'm fine, Espy's fine and you'll be out before either of us know it. Oh, did Lowen send you the pictures of the nursery?" There, we could talk about the house.
"Yep, I liked it. The cartoon Harleys were a nice touch and I'm glad it's not pink." I rolled my eyes and he laughed.
"I fought Ma tooth and nail on that one. She said that if she was paying she got to choose color. I told her that if she wanted to see her granddaughter I'd pick the colors and since she knows I'm capable of keeping her grandbaby away she caved and Esperanza got a bright, sunny yellow nursery with white accents and pale green ivy on the walls. I had no idea Chick was such a good artist." I smiled as I thought of the new room. I had to give up my tiny office but that was ok, I could do any work I needed to do from the rolltop in the living room and when Juice came back he'd have his office just as he left it.
"God I wanna touch you." He practically growled and I took a deep breath.
"I want you to, but you're gonna have to wait. Now, tell me about how Dad took care of your little problem." Juice sighed before he reluctantly told me about the whole situation. Apparently the whole fight happened because one of the prisoners saw the Paiute symbol he had on his bicep and called him on not being Native. Juice's defense wasn't good enough so they knocked heads and since Juice didn't start the fight he didn't get a write up but the dude got punished. After the dude who fought Juice got out of solitary Dad had a discussion with him about leaving his men alone and showed his own Tribal ink. Now they had new allies on the inside.
"At least something good came of it." Juice said as he finished the story and I could do nothing but agree.
* * *
"You bitch!" Koz shouted as he elbowed Chantal in the ribs and she responded by doing something with her finger which caused his character to blow up. As "Game Over" flashed on the screen he sent her a death glare.
"Oh stop it or I'll tell your nurse that you're mean t women." She stuck her tongue out at him and it was hilarious to watch him cave.
"Shut it. Aren't you going to defend me Mills, sweetheart?" Koz affected a hurt tone and I laughed from my spot on the recliner.
"You're a grown ass man and SaA you can defend your own damn self." He chuckled and got up.
"Need anything, I'm gonna get a brew?" He asked as he stood and stretched.
"I'll take some orange juice; I need to up my vitamin C." He nodded and went to the kitchen while Chantal took another game off the shelf and put it in.
"So, you tell Juice I'm living in his house yet?" Chantal asked and I hissed. He had no idea and I wanted to keep it that way. She was just living with me to help with my personal care and to be there when Esperanza was born. She was gonna be moved out by the time Juice got home so I was hoping it wouldn't be an issue.
"No I didn't tell him. An hour isn't long enough to go through the issues this would bring up." She nodded as she sat back and started creating a player profile.
"You have to tell him, otherwise those issues are just gonna grow. Besides we worked through most of our shit and he knows I won't capitalize on your vulnerability. I mean look, I can actually say his name now, no bitchy nicknames or descriptors." She was speaking the truth but I knew he still didn't completely trust her.
"I'll tell him during my next visit." She looked satisfied and started playing her game.
Koz came in a second later and handed me a glass of orange juice with some ice. Before he sat on the couch and took a long pull of his brew. He looked so content, so domestic that I had to give him shit about it.
"Shouldn't you be at the clubhouse dude? I bet the croweaters miss you." I gave him mock-sad eyes and he rolled his.
"Let them miss me. I'm here with my girls. Nowhere else I'd rather be." It was so honest that it made me smile. I liked having my surrogate big brother around, it made life easier.
"Except for in bed with a certain nurse." Chantal piped up from her seat on the floor before she was pushed over by Koz. "Hey you just killed me."
"Sorry slipped and I dare you to prove otherwise." He took another drink of his beer and she smiled.
"Don't need to I'll get you back, you won't know when or where or how, but it will happen and I _will _get the last laugh." She smirked and Koz just shook his head. He was in for trouble and didn't even realize it.
I laughed and smiled as I sat and tried to find a comfortable position. My back had been hurting for hours and no position seemed to work for me. At about my fifth shift Koz looked over and his brow furrowed.
"Are you ok sweetheart?" He set down his brew and moved over before Chantal crawled toward me and put her hand on my knee.
"What's wrong?" She patted my hand and I sighed.
"I'm fine, just some back pain, I'm fine. It's been hurting all day." They looked at each other before Koz took out his cell.
"Where on your back baby?" Chantal asked as Koz got up and went into my bedroom.
"The lower back. I'm fine it comes and goes." She got this big smile on her face and stood up before she went to my coat rack and got my shoes, "What are you doing?
"I'm getting your stuff sweetheart. You're gonna have a baby." I shook my head and she nodded.
"No, not for another two weeks. It's planned." I shook my head, I wasn't ready.
"Esperanza has other plans, now get your ass up and get ready. What did she say?" Chantal asked as Koz came back with my emergency bag.
"Tara will meet us at the hospital; she's already called Dr. Nior and told her to prep the operating room. Looks like you're having this baby tonight." Koz helped me stand and actually picked me up and carried me bridal style.
"I'm not ready." I said with tears in my eyes and Koz gave me his smile.
"No one ever is sweetheart." He moved through the door and we went to the car. I was more frightened than I'd ever been in my life. Could I do this?
* * *
**Author's Note:** Yay, they're back! I tried writing my other stories and have met a wall of monumental writer's block. Milla just would not leave my head so here's the continuation of their story. As always I look forward to your reviews and I hope you all like this story.
2. Chapter 2
**I own nothing you recognize. Gillian belongs to the amazing Superdani and of course Milla, Chantal and anyone else you don't recognize belongs to me.**
**Chapter Two**
"Everything looks good Mills. Sometime during the day your water broke and you're dilated about four centimeters, but we don't need to worry about that. How are you feeling?" Tara asked and I took a deep breath.
"Scared out of my mind. I'm two weeks early Tara. Shit, Lowen was going to find a way for Juice to be on the phone or something, now… Tara! How will he find out?" I started to panic and Tara put her hand on my shoulder.
"Calm down sweetheart. I talked to Gemma and she's talking to Lowen and Rosen right now. Something good will happen, you'll see." I gave her a skeptical look and she simply smiled at me. She knew something. Just as I was about to say something pain rippled across my belly and banded around. I wanted drugs…now.
"Tara, I need drugs." My voice was breathy from the pain and she simply squeezed the hand that was on my shoulder.
"Dr. Nior will be here any time. Just wait, be patient." She moved her hand and it was a smart move I was ready to attack.
"This wasn't supposed to happen yet. I'm not ready." I was scared and Tara gave me wide, sympathetic eyes.
"I've seen you with Ellie, with Abel. You're ready, more ready than you think you are. I'm going to go check in with Dr. Nior. I want you in that OR within the next hour. Your heartbeat is getting erratic and I don't like it." I was surprised to hear that, I'd been so focused on the pain and my nerves that I'd totally missed the issues with my heart. With one last look she went out and I was left alone, I hated being alone. I felt another contraction and started doing my breathing; I was a nervous wreck and needed to calm down. The last thing I wanted was to be on the mini-monitor again. As I was starting to calm down I heard the click-clack of heels coming down the hallway. Thank god, they were letting Chantal in. I needed her, hell I needed anyone. The feet paused briefly outside the door before I heard them moving with purpose. I looked over, expecting to see Chantal and felt my eyes widen, there was my Mom in all her Queenly glory.
"Ma, what are you doing here? How are you here?" She simply smiled at me as she came to the bed and leaned down to kiss my forehead.
"I've had this in the works since they put the damn thing on my ankle. As long as I have a police escort and don't leave the hospital premises I'm allowed to be here for the birth of my grandchild. It doesn't hurt that my only daughter's prone to emotional and physical distress. Officer Eglee, Candy-"She snorted at that, "was happy to bring me in and stay as long as I needed. Aren't you happy to see me?"
There was nothing I could say I simply held out my hand and she took it. I was freaking ecstatic to see her, now if only Juice could be part of this I'd consider myself that happiest person in the world. Mom dragged a chair over and sat by my bed while she told me about the room she was having remodeled in the house which would be for her grandbabies. She had plans for Abel, Espy and Tara's bambino to spend a lot of time with her. Well Abel already spent a lot of time with her but that was simply due to the fact that Neeta was with me quite a bit and Ma had a lot of time on her hands lately and an idle Gemma was potentially dangerous. As we chatted Gillian came in to check my vitals. I had been surprised to see her since I knew she was off shift, I was as much privy to her schedule as Koz was. I had to keep tabs on him; the man was known to do crazy things to get what he wanted.
"Gillian, what are you doing here?"I was happy to see her, but it still caught me off guard.
"Didn't think I was going to miss this, did you?"She winked and went to stand at the end of my bed, with charts in hand and I smiled.
"Who are you?" I almost cringed at Mom's bluntness but stopped myself. If Gillian was going to be around she had to learn how to deal with the Queen.
"Gillian Smith, I'm the nurse assisting Dr. Knowles. I'll be with Milla through the whole procedure." She gave me a smile which caused mine to widen.
"Gillian? I've heard about you." Mom had a smirk on her face and I sighed. "You've made quite the impression on Kozik."
Gillian blushed and marked something in the chart before she seemed to collect herself. But I decided to save her from any further discomfort.
"Gillian, this is my Mom Gemma Teller-Morrow. I'd say she's not always this gruff but I don't want to lie to you." Mom turned her smirk to me while Gillian smiled again.
"Nothing to worry about. Dr. Nior is having the Operating Room prepped and Dr. Knowles had to speak to Ms. Murphy about something but she should be here soon to give you another internal examination." I groaned. I loved Tara and knew she could compartmentalize her doctor and Old Lady roles but having her check my dilation was beyond awkward. "I have to give this chart to Dr. Nior, is there anything you want me to get you while I'm out?"
"I'll have a coffee, doll, black with two sugars. Get my baby some ice chips and let everyone in the hall know how she is." Giving orders, what my Mom was best at.
"Sure thing." Gillian said as she exited the room.
"She seems nice, not the usual ass Koz pulls. She good to you baby?" Mom asked as she found a loose strand of my hair and played with it.
"I consider her a friend; she's nice, competent and very good at her job. We've talked a few times; I really haven't told her much about us. There's something about her that seems so innocent, I don't wanna corrupt her." I shrugged and Mom snorted.
"I think Koz has plans of his own about corrupting the nurse. As long as she's good to you and keeps her nose out of club business we won't have a problem." Mom continued to play with my hair before she decided to get up and report my status to everyone in the hall.
During her absence I had a mini panic attack and luckily Gillian came in and managed to talk me down. I don't even know what I said but Juice's name came up a few times and Gillian was laughing. Once I was calm Mom came in wearing scrubs, a hairnet and a face mask followed by Tara and Dr. Nior in similar get ups.
"Let's go have this baby!" Dr. Nior said brightly and Gillian came in and helped me get onto the gurney for transport.
As we wheeled down the hall I caught Koz's eye and he smiled and gave me a thumbs up while Lyla and Chantal blew me kisses. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I was freaking out but I could do this, I wouldn't even have to push or worry about an episiotomy. I'd be just as tight for Juice when he came out as I was when he went in. The randomness of the thought made me laugh and I got a knowing look from my Mom and Tara, I'd had the tightness discussion with both of them and they could be mind readers when they wanted to be. Once we were in the OR Gillian and another nurse started prepping me. Gillian gently lifted my head and put a hairnet on me while the other started the IV process. Great I'd be on the table at least half an hour before they'd start the cuts.
"We have a fast acting anesthetic that we're going to use on you Milla. It's mainly a muscle relaxer but it will also go to work on those nasty labor pains. We have two options, we can give you a spinal block with the epidural that is a continuous IV feed or we could use a regional block which is a single shot to a group of nerves in your spine. Normally we would just use a regional block without the epidural but due to your heart and blood pressure issues we feel including the epidural is best. Luckily as it is fast acting it is also fast releasing and you will be able to interact with Esperanza immediately. Anything else you'd like to add Dr. Knowles?" Dr. Nior asked and I looked over to see Tara and the nurse who wasn't Gillian fixing up what looked like a laptop.
"Nothing about the procedure but we will be having a special guest in a matter of seconds." She turned her head and I could see her eyes crinkle in a smile before I heard a voice that made me burst into tears.
"Is the camera working on my end, I can see you guys. Can you see me Tara?" Juice's voice rang out in the nearly silent operating room.
"We can see you Juice. You can see us, but can you see Milla?" She moved and I looked over seeing Juice's grinning face and it was almost as though we could actually make eye contact.
"Yeah I see the most beautiful woman in the world. How are you baby?" He asked and I was crying too hard to say anything. The only thing better would have been to have him there.
"How?" I managed to ask after I composed myself and he grinned wider.
"Lowen worked out a deal with the DA and the warden. I'm gonna have to do some weird teaching thing but it's worth it to be here with you baby."I felt the tears start again.
"I love you." I smiled and he kissed his thumb and pressed it to the camera unself-consciously.
"I love you more than anything else in the world. You ready to start doc? I wanna be a Daddy as soon as possible." The joy in his voice made me laugh and I managed to tear my eyes from my husband long enough to see the nurses working in tandem to drape my lower body so I couldn't see anything and I saw a man, who I knew from experience was the anesthesiologist prepping what looked like a really long needle with a huge reservoir. He looked over before he gave a spiel about what the drug was. I didn't care so once he was done explaining I looked back over to see Juice glaring at him, he was entirely too close to my lady parts. Jealousy was not something Juice would give up easily.
"We're ready to start. Milla you'll feel a pinch followed by an extended bit of pressure as Mr. Gavin starts to administer the regional anesthetic. Nurse Smith and Nurse Reynolds will help us roll you onto your side as Mr. Gavin injects the anesthetic. It should be over in a matter of seconds." No sooner had she finished explaining the procedure before Gillian and Nurse Reynolds rolled me over, making my back visible.
"Hey, where are you injecting that?" I could hear the concern in Juice's voice and it made me smile.
"The regional anesthetic or nerve block must be administered to the spine Mr. Ortiz. Once it is administered we have a twenty minute time limit to get the procedure done but Dr. Knowles and I know what we're doing. Between us we've conducted nearly a hundred c-sections." I could tell Juice was nodding. He didn't like it but there was nothing he could do.
"I'm ready back here. Milla, just remember to breath and calm down. The pain will be over before you know it and you'll have your baby in your arms." I nodded then hissed as I felt the needle go into my back. A "pinch" my ass it was a sharp, burning pain, so bad that I felt nauseated but soon enough the pain stopped, but so did all feeling in my legs. Well at least I wouldn't feel them cutting into me.
"Milla? Baby? You ok?" Mom asked and I looked into her eyes, knowing mine were swimming in tears. I nodded and she took a deep breath. She was nervous about seeing me cut open. It was nice to know something could shake her up.
"We'll give the block about two minutes to be sure it's working then we'll begin." Dr. Nior said as I was rolled onto my back again. Once I could look over I looked to the computer screen and saw Juice staring intently at me and everything that was going on. I would have given just about anything to have him there with me.
"Milla, sweetie, we're going to start." Tara said and I nodded. I had the option of watching the surgery but I decided to focus on Juice.
"Hang in there baby, you're so strong. Talk to me," I nodded and kept my eyes on him.
"I shoulda told you this earlier baby. Chantal's living with me and Koz right now. Don't be mad." I quickly added the last and sucked in a breath. They'd started; I could feel pressure where the scalpel was cutting me open.
"Baby, I know. Koz told me before she moved in. It's ok, I'm not mad at all. You need her and I'm glad you have someone you can trust. They've started Milla, soon we're gonna have our little girl." I grinned at that and took a deep breath as I felt my insides shift then I felt a tug.
"Look over here baby." I could hear tears in Mom's eyes and I looked over to see Dr. Nior and Tara holding a bloody gooey thing which Dr. Nior held at an angle while Tara used what looked like a little vacuum to clean out its nose and throat. Dr. Nior held my baby at a steeper angle before she lightly slapped her bottom. That did it my baby cried and I cried with her.
"You did it baby, I'm so proud of you." I could hear Juice talking but my eyes were on that bloody gooey little person.
"Well Mama, you've got a beautiful little girl. Dr. Knowles is going to get her cleaned up while I sew you up. How does it feel Daddy?" Dr. Nior asked as she looked to computer screen and as soon as Esperanza went out the door with Tara I looked over and saw tears in Juice's eyes.
"I don't think I've ever been this happy. We did it baby." I nodded and kissed my fingertips before I feebly blew him a kiss.
"We're going to cut the feed now Mr. Ortiz. Once Milla is set up in her room we'll resume it." I shook my head I wanted him with me.
"It's ok baby. I'll see you soon. I love you." Nurse Reynolds hit a button and he disappeared. I looked for Gillian before I realized that she must have gone with Tara.
Dr. Nior and Nurse Reynolds sent Mom out before they started cleaning me up. I could feel them working but there was a glorious lack of pain. A few minutes into the suturing Tara came through the door pushing the cart. She smiled a crinkly-eyed smile before she lifted my baby out of the cart and set her on my stomach.
"She's beautiful. You did so well Milla." She held Esperanza to my chest and I really looked at my baby for the first time. She was absolutely beautiful. Her skin was the same rich caramel of her father's and she looked like she had a less prominent version of his nose but the cheekbones and the set of her brow were pure Morrow. She also had a full head of dark, downy hair and it made me smile, I couldn't wait to braid that dark hair. All I needed was to see her eyes. I hoped she had her Daddy's deep chocolate brown.
"Hey babygirl. I'm your Mommy." I said quietly as my voice got strangled with emotion. She was the single most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I knew without a doubt that if anyone hurt her they'd get a bullet between the eyes. No one would ever hurt my baby.
"We're ready to take you to the room now." I nodded and Tara took Espy off my chest as I was cautiously moved to a gurney for the return to the room.
Once we were settled in the room Tara put Espy in my arms and they set up the feed. Juice was the proud Daddy as we got a steady stream of visitors. Opie and Lyla were there but I was assured that Ellie would visit the next day. Since it was two-thirty in the morning I was actually glad they'd left the kids at home with Neeta. I breathed a sigh of relief when I learned that Abel was with them. The hospital in the middle of the night was the last place for the baby boy. I had tears in my eyes as Piney put a pink beanie with the Reaper on it on Esperanza's head. It was official, she was a club kid now and every man with a patch was now honor bound to protect her with their very life. I was getting groggy and starting to dip into sleep when Mom liberated Espy from my arms and kicked everyone out with assurances that they'd get to visit me the next day. Koz assured me that he'd be in the hallway watching out for us and Chantal promised she'd watch the house but she'd be returning the next day. I was glad and smiled when Juice said he held her to her promise. Maybe they really had worked through their shit.
I started to nod off and Mom took a seat next to me. I'd rest for a little while then we'd give Espy her first feeding. With one last look at my baby my eyelids closed and I was out like a light.
* * *
"Can I hold my baby Ma?" I asked as I watched my Mom holding Esperanza as she stood by the window a couple of hours after I'd finally been able to rest.
"Sure baby. She's so beautiful." Mom gave me a smile as she handed Esperanza to me and I stared in awe at the little bundle in my arms in her Sons onesie and hat. I had no idea when they'd put the onesie on her but I had a suspicion that Mom was behind it.
"Of course she is, she looks just like her Daddy." I smiled as she started air sucking and I knew she'd need her next feeding soon.
"Don't worry she'll grow out of that." I chuckled before I moved to cuddle Espy closer.
"Don't listen to grandma, you have a handsome Daddy and you look just like him." I kissed the top of her head. I had never loved anyone as much as I loved the little girl in my arms. The only person who'd ever come close was her Daddy.
"How does it feel baby?" Mom asked as she caressed my hair and looked at Espy.
"I've never fallen in love so quickly. She's my everything Ma. Did you feel like this the first time you held Jax? Did you feel like everything in your life finally made sense, had a purpose?" I asked as I stared at my baby's face.
"Sounds about right, felt the same way when I held you that first time too. I had my little princess. I think you're one of the reasons I made it after Tommy. You gave me a reason to move on." I turned my eyes to Mom in shock. She'd never said anything like that before. In fact sometimes I thought I was a burden to her, an inconvenience. I wasn't one of her "boys", I never thought I meant so much to her. I felt tears in my eyes and let them flow as mom reached over and took out a tissue. She smiled as she started wiping the tear tracks from my face. "Don't look so surprised, you know I love ya."
"Now I do." I whispered as I shared a watery smile with Mom.
* * *
"What's wrong with her? How bad is the heart thing?" Juice asked and I took a deep breath as I looked to my side where Espy was resting in her bassinet. She was two days old and still the most beautiful little thing in the world. She was in, yet another, SAMCRO onesie and sleeping so soundly I doubted an atomic blast could wake her. She was definitely her Father's daughter
"Well the tear is larger than they thought and we were given two options. One we just have her medicated and see what happens. She could be like me and have a stress induced reaction decades from now or she could potentially develop symptoms like Tommy." I felt my throat practically close as I thought of the big brother I'd never met whose death had caused a pain so big that the club was nearly destroyed. Mom had survived his loss but I doubted I could handle losing Esperanza.
"What would it mean to have the surgery?" His voice was quiet; I knew he was having the same thoughts I was.
"They're confident that they'd be able to fix the problem with a minimally invasive procedure. She'd have to stay in the hospital an extra week as the incisions healed. Honestly I think this is the best option and since I'm also having a minor surgery we wouldn't be separated." I took a deep breath and saw Espy start to move. She'd be ready for her next feeding soon.
"Ok, I'm with you on this. Get our baby girl the surgery. Is there anything for me to sign?" He asked and I smiled. He wanted to do what he could to keep his girls safe.
"No baby, since you gave me power of attorney while you're in I'm responsible for everything." I was about to add more when there was a beep.
"Shit baby, I'm outta time. I love you two more than anything and give Espy a kiss from me. I'll have Lowen send me Espy's stats." I felt tears prick my eyes. I missed him so much.
"We love you too baby. Be safe in there." He grunted and the call was cut off. I hung up my phone and sighed. The next year was going to be tough but as long as I had my baby I could do it. Suddenly there was a wail for the bassinet and I smiled, she was hungry and would fuss until she was fed. I shook my head as I pressed the call button. Yep, she was definitely her Father's daughter.
3. Chapter 3
**I own nothing you recognize. The characters of Milla, Chantal, Esperanza, Chick and Dr. Bremmer belong to me. Gillian belongs to the wonderful and understanding Superdani. Thank you for the collaboration sweetheart!
**
**Chapter Three**
"You'll be doing the surgery, right?" I asked Tara as she stood by my bed and held Esperanza.
"Unless you think this is a conflict of interest." She said as she gave me a sly smile and ran a fingertip along Espy's cheek.
"I'll cry foul is anyone _but_ you performs the surgery." I gave her a hard look and her smile widened.
"Then you have nothing to worry about. When are you going under?" Espy fussed a little and Tara started rocking her. She must have really loved her Aunt Tara since she calmed down right away.
"Dr. Bremmer agreed to wait until after Espy's surgery." I sighed, I was getting a temporary pacemaker put in, the erratic heartbeat I had while I was in labor had caused some damage and the pacemaker would even out the beat and I'd be fine until I could get the hole repaired. Dr. Bremmer and I agreed that it would be best to wait until Espy was older before I had the surgery.
"Sounds like a good plan, Espy needs you." She cuddled Espy closer before she gave me a more familiar smile.
"Abel needs you." I smiled at her and we stayed in comfortable silence before she had to leave for her rounds.
I stared at the bassinet for what felt like hours as Espy slept. I didn't want to think about her having surgery, even a necessary surgery, and it was bothering me. I had a suspicion that I might have to be sedated when she went in, I didn't think I could remain calm without actually seeing her. As I used my good arm to move her bassinet closer there was a knock at the door before a huge bunch of balloons were thrust through followed by my favorite teenager.
"Tris!" I said happily while she smiled and moved to the bed. Her progress was stopped as she looked into the bassinet.
"She's so cute!" She squealed before she passed the balloons to me and started cooing and baby talking into the bassinet. A few seconds after she'd planted herself next to Espy a smiling Elliot walked into the room carrying a large box and balancing a vase of tiger lilies, someone must have told him they were my favorite flowers.
"How are you feeling?" He asked as he leaned over and kissed my cheek while Tristen continued to baby talk Esperanza.
"I'm good, after my surgery tomorrow I'll be better. You guys made it just in time, Espy's about to go into surgery soon and I'll be a wreck." I went out of my way to be honest with Elliot and Tristen, it was just good job acumen.
"I heard that she had the same heart defect. I take it they're confident about her recovery?" Elliot asked as he took a chair from the other side of the room and sat down while Tris smiled at me before she went back to cooing.
"Very confident and I got assurances that Tara would be doing the surgery. I am confident but it's still terrifying. I can't imagine any parent being ok with their kids going under the knife." I gave him a sad smile and he nodded.
"Tristen had her tonsils taken out three years ago and Karen and I were…well now you know how we were." He smiled before he stood and looked into the bassinet with Tris. "She is beautiful; she has a lot of her father in her."
"Yeah she does. How's everything going?" I was worried about Elliot, he was really good at putting up a brave face for Tristen but I could see the tightness around his eyes and the forced nature of his smile.
"Nothing to concern yourself with just know that I can't wait for you to get well. Gemma told me you were having surgery as well. What happened to you this time?" His tone was jovial but pure concern radiated from his eyes.
"They're putting in a pacemaker, I'm less concerned with that than I am about Espy." I looked over and saw Tris playing with Espy's fingers.
"She's so tiny, can I babysit when you go back to working for Dad?" She asked as she looked at me with smiling eyes.
"If you can wrestle her from my Mom." We shared a smile and chatted for a while before I opened the gift they'd brought. Inside the box there was an activity center so that Espy could play on the floor and work on her hand/eye coordination and several tiny, expensive looking, outfits. There was also a gift certificate to one of the upscale baby boutiques in Sacramento. Tristen must have went shopping with Karen to get all this. It was nice to know that even though she and Elliot were no longer together she felt no ill will toward me. I thanked them and they left. Now I just had to wait until they came in to bring Espy to the OR. The waiting was the worst part
* * *
I was in my bed staring at my clock. They took Esperanza in an hour and a half ago and despite the fact Chantal was sitting with me I was a nervous wreck. Both Tara and Gillian had assured me that everything was going to be fine but until I held my baby in my arms again or kissed her tiny head I wouldn't be alright.
"Your Mom's in the waiting room, want me to get her?" Chantal asked nervously as she watched my face.
"No I think that would actually make me more nervous. Could you go check on her though?" I loved Chantal but I needed to be alone. As soon as she left the room I took a few deep breaths and did something I never did…I prayed and it made me feel better even though I wasn't a believer. As if in answer to my prayers Gillian came through the door, giving a little knock on the door. I glanced up at the clock again and realized more time had passed, I must have zoned while I prayed.
"Everything's fine, her heartbeat is regulated and she's already starting to wake up. We're going to keep her under observation tonight but we'll bring you to see her soon. You have a strong little one there." She smiled and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you so much. She looks good?" I felt my brow furrow and Gillian gave me a slight smile.
"She has good color and of course she's beautiful. Relax and I'll bring you to her once we've double checked everything." I nodded and gave her a smile as she left the room. If my baby was fine then maybe the world wasn't out to get me.
Later I sat in my wheelchair in front of the glass partition with my Mom on one side and Chantal on the other as we watched Esperanza sleep in the small protective bed; since she was recovering from surgery they wanted her in a germ-free environment. Mom held a hand on my shoulder while her police escort hung back and let us have this moment to ourselves.
"When are Koz and Chick getting back from Thief River?" I asked Mom as she squeezed. Now that he wasn't around I had an almost desperate need to have Koz with me.
"Tomorrow morning, he'll be here in plenty of time for your surgery." Mom leaned down and kissed my forehead while I nodded. Good, he could watch over my baby while I was in surgery.
"Good." I didn't say anything else as I watched my baby's chest rise and fall. As long as she was ok I could relax.
* * *
"Come on peanut, Mama and Gillian need some sleep and you need to rest up so you can meet your Daddy, Grandpa and Uncle Jax tomorrow." I told my angel as I stood over her crib while I waited for Gillian to come from the kitchen and pick her up. I had resentment attached to my arm but now it was a murderous hatred. I shouldn't have to depend on other people to pick up my baby. We'd been home three days and it didn't get any easier to deal with. A few seconds later Gillian came in with a bottle of breast milk and pointed me in the direction of the rocking chair. I settled myself in and waited while Gillian picked up Espy and carried her to me. I couldn't keep the smile from my face as Espy settled down once I propped her.
"Thanks Gillian." I smiled at her before I tipped the bottle to my babygirl's lips. At two weeks old she was getting bigger and as she healed from her surgery she was getting stronger. I had thought that I'd be physically breast feeding Esperanza but after the first attempt in the hospital I discovered that with my arm the way it was and while I recovered from my own surgery I wasn't able to hold her close enough to get her to the actual breast but as long as I pumped my breasts twice a day I had plenty to give my baby.
"Are you sure you don't want me to go to Stockton tomorrow, to help with Esperanza?" Gillian asked as she hovered near the crib.
"Yes I'm sure; Chantal's coming to help with Espy, besides we want you to keep your innocence for as long as possible. You're already being lumped with us around town and that hasn't helped your image." She gave me a blank look before smiling and I smiled at her and stared down as Espy sucked her bottle.
"Oh yeah I hate being lumped with a nice group of people who go out of their way to help me, who fix my shower for free. It just sucks being part of that." Her sarcasm made me smile. It amazed me how much trust she put in us.
"Ok Gillian I get it, you see nothing wrong with us but a lot of people do and I worry about you. Also I like having you around, it helps having someone with us who's above suspicion." I gave her a wider smile and she rolled her eyes again.
"Stop worrying about me. I'm a grown woman and can take care of myself. Is Kozik going with?" She asked as she helped me prop Espy better on the pillow. My smile turned sly but it was lost on her since her eyes were on Esperanza.
"Yeah, he's going to visit our guy Happy. He finally got out of solitary so Koz has to update him on the stuff that's gone down." I looked up from Espy's face and saw that her eyes were wide, I had to make it sound better. "Don't worry Hap was just doing his job, he was protecting his brothers. In fact, he saved Juice's ass."
"He was in solitary? What did he do?" Gillian was always curious but respectful, I tried to keep her out of as much club business as possible.
"Let's just say that he had to be _persuasive_ with someone who wouldn't leave my husband alone. Luckily no one died." As soon as I said it I cursed myself but Gillian just shook her head.
"Is your husband ok?" Ever since I'd told her about Juice during my mini freakout I'd been telling her little stories and one day we went through my wedding album and picture box and she put up with me while I blubbered like an idiot.
"Juice is great, can't wait to hold this little one though. Seriously, he was like a kid on Christmas morning the last time I talked to him." I grinned and looked down at the little one in question. She'd stopped sucking and looked like she was finally ready to sleep. I looked at Gillian who nodded and took Espy, she carefully balanced her on her chest and rubbed circles in her back. Because of the surgery we had to be very careful when it came to feeding and burping her. After a few minutes there was a little burp and Gillian brought her to the crib and made sure she was settled.
"She's sleeping, want me to do anything else?" I shook my head as I slowly rose. For the first few days after the C-Section standing up was the most awkward thing in the world. It had felt like my lower body was "settling" it was like my organs were moving independently and I hated it. Now I was just sore but Tara said that would be the norm for about five weeks, oh joy.
"Just try to get some rest. Thank you." I gave her another smile before I went to the crib again to look at my baby. Soon she'd be meeting her Daddy and the thought made me grin, he already loved her but he was about to learn just how quickly and deeply he could fall for someone. "Mommy loves you babygirl."
* * *
"Alright, Ms. Tau you're cleared." The guard flirted as he handed her ID back and she flirted with everything in her arsenal. During an earlier visit I'd learned that I could get away with a lot as long as Chantal was there showing off her tits.
"Thank you." She smiled as she settled Esperanza in her arms again. I'd learned that I could stand or I could hold Espy, not both at the same time.
We waited for a few minutes more while Tara and Koz went through the security checklists. Since this was a family meeting we had to undergo even more intense checks since we'd be meeting with more than one of the guys at a time. Well I'd have a fifteen minute window alone with Juice but then Dad and Jax would have a chance to see us. I heard a gurgle as I looked over to see Tara standing next to me with Abel. He gurgled again and leaned toward me, I smiled before I tilted my head and kissed his little baby cheek. He giggled and Tara and I shared a smile.
The locks soon disengaged and we were led in. I looked over and saw Juice bouncing in his seat, as soon as he saw me with Chantal a grin split his face and I felt an answering look on mine. A guard led us to the table and Chantal and I sat while Juice took a deep breath.
"Can I?" He asked no one in particular and the guard nodded while Chantal stood again and moved so that she could place Esperanza in his arms. He stared in awe at her and I felt tears streaming from my eyes as I saw tears in his. "Hey there pretty girl, I'm your Daddy."
His eyes were on her and I looked over to Chantal to see her crying. She looked over at me before she handed me a tissue and we watched Juice get acquainted with his daughter.
"You're so beautiful Esperanza. You look just like your Mommy and we both know she's the most beautiful girl in the world. Someday I'll tell you about your grandma, she's the first Esperanza and she would have loved you. God, I've done so many wrong things in my life but you're the one thing I did perfectly." He leaned down and kissed her forehead and the tears started coming faster from my eyes. He looked up at me and there was still that awe on his face. "I'm wrong, you're the one thing _we_ did perfectly."
"I love you." I whispered and he leaned down to kiss Espy again.
"I love you both more than anything in the world. She's so tiny, my tiny, little princess." He smiled wider and was drawn under her spell again. The fifteen minutes passed quickly and before I knew it Tara came to sit with Chantal and I and Dad and Jax joined the table.
"Hey Daddy." I smiled and my Dad gave me the indulgent smile that he always reserved for me.
"Hey angel." He smiled wider and looked over at Juice who looked like he was never going to let Espy go. "Hey can I hold my granddaughter?"
Juice looked up and he looked like he was about to protest but then he looked in Dad's eyes and they shared what could only be described as a fatherly exchange and he passed Esperanza over. The look of pride on Dad's face made me smile and I felt tears in my eyes again, but couldn't help but laugh as Dad talked to Espy.
"You look just like your Mommy when she was tiny like this. I'm going to have to beat the boys off with a stick but I have your Daddy and Uncle Jax to help with that." Both of the guys nodded and Jax leaned over to look at Espy with Abel in his arms and Abel looked over too. He had a fascination with the tiny baby. "You will never have to worry about anything babygirl, if grandpa can get it for you it's yours, if he has to tear the world apart to get you what you need he will but you gotta promise me something too. No boys, your Mom almost killed me until she found one good enough so no boys. Ok? We'll have this talk again in a few years but until then just remember…no boys."
We all shared a chuckle at that and Dad looked like he never wanted to let go but he relented when Jax offered up an exchange, Dad would take Abel while he held Espy. Jax smiled at me as soon as Esperanza was settled in his arms.
"I'm so proud of you." Jax told me as he cradled Esperanza, then he chuckled again, "I can't believe something this beautiful came from that goofy looking bastard."
Juice just shook his head, used to being the butt of jokes. I just smiled as I watched Jax smile at his niece, he apparently didn't have any rules or platitudes for her and I was ok with that. Once he got out of prison he'd have plenty of time to be the "cool" uncle as was his birthright. Once time started to get low he handed Espy back to Juice who held her in a death grip.
"Fifteen Minutes!" The guard shouted and I felt like panicking. This was nowhere near enough time for Juice and Espy. I'd been bonding with her since she was born and he had barely gotten to hold her. Life wasn't fair.
"It's ok baby. I'll see you both again next week, then we can spend the whole hour together." He grinned and it calmed me down, he was always insanely perceptive when it came to me and I was grateful for it.
"I just want you to have some time with your daughter. She deserves to know her Daddy." I said it quietly and Juice smiled sadly before he moved and deposited Esperanza in my arms. During the exchange he briefly gripped my fingers and that touch calmed me more than an entire bottle of Zoloft could have.
"Don't worry sweetheart, she'll know her Daddy. We're doing what we can to keep his ass around for you." I had to laugh at Dad's announcement, he had no idea how grateful I was for their diligence.
Far too soon the hour was over and we watched as the guys were taken to the back, Juice looked back and gave me a smile while Chantal put Esperanza back in her car seat and I waved before he was out of sight. With a sigh I helped Chantal with what I could and we walked out. Koz was standing outside on his cell but he ended the call when he saw us and sauntered over.
"Everything go ok?" He asked as he reached out and wiped away a tear I hadn't known escaped.
"As well as it could. It just seems so unfair." I took a deep breath and stopped my tears while he smiled.
"I get that. I just got off the phone with Gillian, she's up for dinner tonight. How do you girls feel about having a family dinner tonight? Gemma said that if you agreed to help she'd host." He was so happy that it was infectious.
"You get Lyla to help and we're there." Chantal answered for us and Tara rolled her eyes but still smiled. I knew we were sharing the same thought. Gillian was about to get a baptism by fire.
Koz just grinned and kissed my cheek before he sauntered over to his bike prouder than a peacock. That boy had it bad but for once he'd made a good choice. With a smile to Chantal we walked to her car and left. We suddenly had a lot of shit to do and a short time to do it in.
* * *
**Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**
4. Chapter 4
**I own nothing you recognize. Gillian belongs to the wonderful Superdani and everyone else you don't recognize is mine.**
**Chapter Four**
"Ellie, sweetie, can you take Espy and put her down in the bassinet?" Ellie jumped out of the seat next to me and took Esperanza out of my arms. She'd only been Auntie Ellie for two weeks and she was already the perfect little pseudo-mommy.
I took a deep breath as I watched them go through the doorway to the den. Mom sat next to me once Ellie was gone and pushed a glass of orange juice in my direction.
"Drink up, you've been looking kinda tired lately, you can't afford to get sick." She took a drink from her own glass and I sighed. I had shit to talk to her about.
"Well if I get sick we have doctors and nurses at our beck and call. Speaking of nurses, what the hell Ma?" Her interaction with and _kindness_ to Gillian was disconcerting to say the least.
"What I'm not supposed to be good to people? Aren't you the one who spent the majority of your life trying to make me _nicer_?" She shook her head and chuckled while I took a deep breath and held in my glare.
"I gave up when I realized you were never going to change, now suddenly you're buddy, buddy with a relative stranger and I'm not supposed to think anything of it? Jesus Ma, just warn me before the hammer drops." I sipped my orange juice and she took a longer swallow of what she was drinking.
"No hammer to drop. Can't you believe I'm just being nice because I like her?" She looked like she was honest but I knew Gemma Teller-Morrow better than most people did and it took me the better part of my twenty-five years to get to that point.
"No, I can't believe that because if it were true a huge chunk of my life would be a lie. Seriously, you're not even nice to me out of maternal obligation. Just promise me you won't drive her off." The smile on her face was disconcerting and she merely looked at me.
"If she gets driven off by anything around here then she's not the girl you or Koz need." She took out a cigarette from her pack and lit up. We had a rule, when the kids were here she was restricted to one cigarette an hour and she couldn't be in the same room with the kids when she smoked. Threat of not having access to her grandbabies was a good enough reason for her to do her part. A bike rumbled in the driveway and I got up to see which of the guys was here. I smiled when I saw Phil but the smile faltered a little in confusion as I saw Chantal get off the back. She was supposed to be shopping with Lyla and Tara while Ma and I watched the kids.
"Goddamn, motherfucking sons of bitches." She was cursing up a storm as she made it to the door. Mom had gotten up with me and opened the door as an irate Chantal walked in with a sheepish Phil behind her. She stalked right past me and went to the kitchen, still cursing a blue streak.
"What happened?" The look on Phil's face was pure fear and panic but he was saved from answering when Chantal came back out with a beer in hand.
"Fucking Russians." As soon as she said it Mom and I both tensed. At least she was still alive, that was something.
"Where are Tara and Lyla?" Suddenly I felt cold and nervous; the thought of any of them getting hurt killed me.
"They're at the store, Opie and Chibs are with them. Chantal had to pick something up at your house and one of the Russian bastards followed her. He must have recognized her car." Phil explained; fear still plain on his face.
"My house, shit is it safe for us to go back tonight?" I asked and Mom put an arm around my shoulders.
"Well we don't know. The guys are going to take it to vote whether or not we should have a lockdown." I felt my head start to throb and needed to sit down. I broke away from Mom and walked into the dining room collapsing into a chair.
"No, I'm not going to a lockdown. I have a two week old daughter, I can't handle that shit." I shook my head but rubbed it when the pain started.
"We won't know anything until they go to church." Phil said in a calm placating manner. As if sensing my distress I heard Espy wail from the living room.
I waited for someone to bring me my baby and was rewarded for the wait by seeing the most simultaneously sweet and disconcerting thing I'd ever seen. Phil came into the dining room cradling a calm Espy in his arms. She looked utterly content as he cooed her and he seemed lost in his own little world. It was amazing what an effect a little bundle of human had on big, burly, manly men. She was only two weeks old and she already had these men wrapped around her little finger. Suddenly Phil looked up and blushed.
"Sorry it's just-" Mom put up a hand and smiled at him, a rare real one.
"No need to apologize, that little one has the same effect on everyone. Hold her for a while, she needs to get used to big men in cuts." She put a hand to my shoulder and leaned down to kiss my cheek.
Phil continued to hold Espy while Chantal filled us in on what happened. Apparently she had decided to go to the house and put on some different shoes since she'd hurt her heel earlier and as she pulled into the driveway a large black SUV had blocked the driveway. Luckily Chantal had called Phil and told him she'd broken from the pack and since she wanted to leave her car at the house she knew he'd give her a ride back to the grocery store. She freaked out when the vehicle pulled up and stayed in her car. After a few minutes a man in an expensive suit and sunglasses got out and walked to her car. She refused to open her door or roll down her window so he took matters into his own hands and broke her window. He had a message for the Sons. If they didn't get the money the Russians were owed to them in two weeks time it was war and all their women would be working off that debt. He didn't hurt her but she was still shaken up.
Chantal sat beside me and cried while I held her hand with my good one. This was not good; the Russians had stepped up their game. Maybe a lockdown really was needed. I looked at Phil and his fear was gone, now he was livid. He viewed Chantal as his and the fact that she got hurt on his watch bothered him. Despite his rage he was still holding Espy in that perfect baby hold and I had to give him props, it takes a real man to hold a baby like that. After Chantal calmed down Mom took her in the kitchen and Phil sat down, still holding the baby.
"You're really good with her." He smiled as she shifted a little.
"Oldest of four, you learn to handle babies or you're out on your ass. Besides she's the calmest baby I've ever seen." Just like that he was under her spell again. I had to be careful with her or I was going to end up raising a little diva.
"Don't know where she gets that, Juice and I are both pretty high strung. Think you're going to have your own some day?" I asked as I adjusted my sling. Ever since my latest surgery I'd had more problems with the arm, no position was comfortable. My physical therapist said that was normal but still made me come in three days a week to work with it.
"If I find the right girl." He smiled and I nodded, we both knew that he'd found the right girl, unfortunately she was on the lookout for the right girl herself.
"You will." I smiled sadly and Phil got a call so he handed me my daughter and went outside to answer. It had to have been something important because a few minutes later I heard his kickstart and the rumble.
* * *
About an hour later I was sitting with Ellie going over her English homework when there was the sound of bikes coming up. I'd been on edge ever since Chantal had shared her story. I trusted the guys implicitly, especially after _**The Plan**_, but this seemed too big. The Russians ran a good chunk of the underground and had dealings with many of our "associates" one call to Lin or Leroy and we could have war on our hands from three sides. I knew I was zoning when Ellie touched my hand.
"Aunt Milla? What should my haiku be about? I've asked you a few times." She had a concerned look on her face that a girl her age shouldn't have had.
"What does the assignment say babygirl?" Esperanza was my light and my joy but Ellie would always be my baby too.
"Write a haiku about someone in your family. Can I write bout Espy?" I smiled and placed my hand on her head.
"Of course baby, we'd both like that." She grinned before a look of concentration transformed her face and she turned back to her paper. A few seconds later the door opened and I could hear the sounds of bags being jostled followed by curses.
"Fuck Ope you don't have to man handle me." I kissed the top of Ellie's head before I went into the dining room and saw Lyla and Tara unloading groceries while Opie and Chibs stayed at the door.
"Hey." I looked at them and Tara nodded.
"Hey, do you know what's up? These two haven't given us an inch of space and we were followed by a small formation." As if proving her point more bikes could be heard pulling into the driveway. I felt something in my chest loosen that I didn't even know was tight when Koz came into the house.
"Where's Chanty?" He asked as he looked around.
"She's resting in the guest bedroom." He nodded as he and Opie made their way to the stairs.
"What happened to Chantal?" I looked at Chibs and he nodded. It was alright to tell them.
"The Russians, they broke into her car while she was inside and delivered a message. We have two weeks to get them what was owed for Jimmy or it's war and SAMCRO's women will be working off the debt." I let the implications hang in the air and Tara sat down.
"What does this mean? Are we safe?" She looked at Chibs who shrugged.
"We're going to church as soon as dinner's over, we don't want the kids to suspect somethin's up. We'll arrange a meeting with Putlova because there's no fucking way we can have that much money in two weeks." I nodded, I truly did trust them.
"You didn't answer my question. Are we safe? Milla's got a new baby, is still recovering from multiple surgeries and is by far the most vulnerable. What about her?" Leave it to Tara to put everyone else first.
"We'll do everything we can to keep you safe. We won't let another of our women be hurt on our watch. As far as Milla goes you know we'll keep you and Esperanza safe. Right love?" I nodded and Chibs came over to kiss my head. "Where's the little one?"
"She's sleeping in the living room, Ellie's watching her." Chibs kissed my head again before he went into the living room; he was yet another man who'd fallen under Espy's spell.
"Good you two are back? Did the German have the steaks?" There was Mom unfazed by it all.
"Yes he had the steaks but Jesus, Gemma. We spoke to you half an hour ago and you couldn't fill us in." Tara was angry, being kept in the dark was never a good thing.
"Not my place. Besides the boys were with you and I didn't want you distracted. Now help me in the kitchen, Gimpy over there's only got one hand and our other guest is still at work. Chop chop, we've got things to do." Lyla smiled at Tara's annoyed expression but they both got to work as I went back in the living room and saw Chibs leaning over the bassinet while Ellie watched him out of the corner of her eye. He may have been Uncle Chibs but she was Auntie Ellie and she took her job seriously.
"Did you finish the haiku baby?" I asked to keep her from glaring at Chibs.
"Yeah, let me know if you like it." I nodded and sat on the couch by where she was on the floor.
"The cutest baby / Anyone will ever see / My Esperanza." As she read the haiku I felt tears in my eyes. It was the sweetest, most adorable thing I'd ever heard. "Did you like it?"
"I loved it baby. You should paint it on Espy's wall. Let her know how much her Auntie Ellie loves her." She grinned again and went back to her homework. I looked up from her and dried my eyes, smiling wider as I saw Chibs pic Espy up out of her bassinet. When he looked at me I raised my eyebrow and he chuckled.
"Don't worry over there Mama, I won't wake her up. She just seemed so lonely in her cot." I nodded, no need to explain, she had him around her little finger.
"No problem Chibs, just make sure you get her to me or Ellie if she fusses." He ran a fingertip over her face; I could tell that he was feeling a bit nostalgic. Now that he had his daughter and his wife back he could allow himself to think back to the time when he had his own baby girl.
"Shit!" Ellie shouted and my attention was drawn to her.
"What is it babe?" I wasn't going to yell at her about swearing. A quick talk with her teacher after the black eye incident had reassured me that she was a great kid in school; it's the other ones that were little bastards.
"I'm supposed to write another poem, it's due tomorrow…"She whined and I smiled, all kids had the same problems.
"Any particular subject?" I ruffled her hair and she got out of my way. Oh right, little girls and their hair.
"We're supposed to right about something important to us. I know what I'll write about." She suddenly became somber and started to write.
"Want to share it with me?" She shook her head and erased what she had written. I looked over her shoulder and saw the word "Mom" and knew that she wanted to be left alone.
I watched Ellie for a minute before my eyes were drawn to Chibs again as he gently placed Espy back in her bassinet. I could hear noises from the kitchen and the sound of more bikes riding by. Even though things looked pretty dire I could just sit here and enjoy the calm before the storm. I did have my family after all.
5. Chapter 5
**I own nothing you recognize. Original characters, with the exception of Gillian, belong to me. Gillian belongs to the wonderful Superdani. I'd be lost without her encouragement.**
**This chapter is dedicated to Superdani, Dutch '76 and Belle. They helped me through a rough patch and it meant the world to me. Thank you.**
**Chapter Five**
I glared at my mother with every ounce of venom I could muster. Not only was I sequestered in the living room with all the other women and kids watching some reality show about trophy wives in Orange County, but Gillian knew everything about the Russians because Ma couldn't keep her mouth shut. I moved my glare from Mom and stared at the tv not caring about anything on it. I knew that Koz would eventually make his move and Gillian would be drawn into this life but until that time I wanted her to be outside the darker aspects of the club. I didn't want her to know about the Russians, the guns, the drug deliveries, just the random shit the guys had to do every day. She was so innocent, so trusting and it was refreshing to have someone like that around. Lyla was never like that, she had a healthy dose of distrust from the beginning. Growing up with an abusive father had removed any easy trust or innocence from Tara before she'd even met Jax. Chantal…well really bad things happened to her that ensured that she'd never trust anyone again without them jumping through hoops for her. Hell, I grew up in the club and I'd been taught that you don't trust anyone unless they've got a Reaper on their back. Gillian though… there was something about her that just made me want to shield her and keep her from the shit I dealt with on a daily basis, but I knew that was a pipe dream. So I just sat and glared as I processed everything.
"Milla, babe, you ok?" Lyla asked and I looked up at her but tilted my head as I thought of how to formulate my thoughts into words.
"She's fine, just restless and pissed off at me. She'll be better when the guys get back." Mom was right as always.
"Why are you mad at Gemma?" Gillian asked and there was a simultaneous snort from Tara, Lyla and Chantal before Mom's glare stopped them. Tara volunteered the answer.
"When isn't she mad at Gemma? Sorry Gillian but you'll get used to it. The Queen and the Princess are always at odds." I rolled my eyes, whenever Tara used the royalty thing it was to knock us down a peg and she succeeded, I felt like an ass.
"I didn't think it was a good idea to tell you everything. You were on the edge of this and I didn't want you roped in. Mom didn't respect that and told you everything. Therefore I am pissed the fuck off at her."I returned my glare to Mom who just shook her head.
"She needs to know." With those four words the conversation was ended and not a moment too soon. Espy started wailing from her bassinet so Tara got up and cuddled her while Gillian grabbed the diaper bag and went into the kitchen. It was a practiced routine that I was never a part of.
As I watched Gillian come back with the bottle and hand it off to Tara like a baton I felt all the resentment and anger I was bottling up inside rise in my gut. These other women were taking care of _my _baby and I couldn't do anything because my arm was jacked up. My mother was treating another woman more like a daughter than she'd ever treated me and I was forced to stay here "protected". I couldn't take it anymore so I got up from the couch, much faster than I should have and before anyone could stop me I was out the door. I couldn't be there, couldn't watch as everyone else took pieces of my life away from me.
I walked away but didn't go far, there was only one place I wanted to go and luckily it was just out the door. I tried the door to Dad's workshop and found it locked, a peek into the mortar under the window produced the key and I unlocked it and went inside, breathing in the smell of cedar and miscellaneous wood chips. Dad hadn't done his carpentry in a couple of years due to his hands and it showed, but his military training made him incapable of letting the space fall into disrepair. It was as clean and tidy as ever, except for the few months of neglect which left a fine layer of dust on everything.
I locked the door behind me and made my way to the rocking chair in the corner. Before I sat I saw one of my Dad's workshirts hanging from a hook and took it down. As I put it on I caught some of Dad's smell and wrapped it around myself. I found myself needing Dad more than ever. He was always the buffer between me and Mom, she'd be critical and he'd offer me a way to vent and work out shit. I was a Daddy's girl through and through and I missed my Dad's hugs and the smell of his stogies. I even missed the way he'd tease me for marrying the "village idiot", mostly because I knew he accepted Juice as a son and the teasing was just another way to show how much he loved me. That was the thought that made the tears come and I cried myself sick in that rocking chair.
I blew my nose on the sleeve of the shirt and looked up when I heard movement outside. Mom must have told them to give me space and time, but now they were getting nervous. I couldn't bring myself to get up because if I went back nothing would be changed. I still couldn't take care of my baby the way I wanted to, my Mom would still be my Mom and I'd be stuck in that damn house. I tried to pull my knees up to my chest but I was too sore so I leaned my head back and rested. I was so tired, physically and just plain tired of it all. I knew I needed to get back to my baby but for now I needed to work through my own shit.
I started to doze when I heard the sound of bikes pulling up. Good, at least one thing was going to be fixed. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door.
"Milla, are you ok in there? Everyone's worried about you sweetheart. Espy won't stop crying, she wants Mommy." I heard Koz clear as day but I couldn't force myself to move. "I'm coming in whether you want it or not."
There was a clinking and rustling from the door and I saw it twist before it opened and Koz stepped inside. His eyes were angry before they softened and he crossed the room. I looked around him and saw Gillian standing with Chantal by the door.
"I'm sorry." I whispered and lowered my head but he put his fingertips under my chin and lifted my head. As he looked in my eyes I rose up and wrapped an arm around his waist as he folded me into a hug.
"It's not easy is it sweetheart? The world took a crap on you and you have to be strong. Don't feel bad about breaking down, we just wish you wouldn'tve run off." He kissed the top of my head and I cried some more.
"I couldn't do it anymore, couldn't watch my life divvied up and passed around. I feel so fucking helpless Koz. The arm, my heart, everything…I just want to go back to how things were, before I was shot, before they went in. I'm so fucking pathetic." He pulled me tighter and just held me while I cried it out.
"Feel better?" I nodded, I genuinely did feel better. "Good, now you're going to listen to me. You aren't pathetic, you're scared, hurt and have more responsibility than you've ever had in your life. I'm amazed you aren't in a padded cell after all the shit that's happened to you. Yes, you need people to help you, yes you don't have control but that doesn't mean that you're pathetic. Come inside, we've figured out what to do with the Russians."
I looked up and nodded as he shifted me around and nudged me forward. I kept my head down as I walked out and Chantal placed an arm around my shoulders and led me into the house. I looked sheepishly at Mom and she sat me down in the arm chair while Tara put a still crying Espy in my arms. I brought her head up and kissed it.
"Mommy's so sorry baby, she'll never leave you again." She gurgled and stopped crying, I felt like the biggest tool in the world.
"Are you feeling better?" Lyla asked as she ran a hand through my hair and perched on the chair.
"Yeah, I'm so sorry." She nodded and continued running her fingers through my hair while Opie and Chibs stood by the fireplace.
"Alright, now that everyone's here and the kids are in the den we can let you know what's up." Opie said and Chib's nodded before he picked up where Opie looked off.
"We're meeting with Putlova next week. He's willing to negotiate terms if we make a down payment. We're handling it but he agreed that his men would leave our women alone, the mothers at least. He doesn't want to leave any orphans. So Chantal, Gillian and a couple of our others need to have some form of protection. Phil'l stay with Chantal but we have a bit of a problem with Gillian, Koz's in charge of Milla's safety that means we need to find someone else to take care of her." Chibs said as I looked around the room.
"He said he'll leave the mother's alone right? Well Koz can help with Gillian, make his presence known. I'll just stay home since Phil's gonna be there." Koz and Opie nodded, they liked the plan.
"Why do I need protection? I'm not like Chantal or Lyla." Gillian asked and the guy's looked between themselves so I answered as best I could.
"You're a friend to the club and really important to us, that pretty much paints a target on your back." Rather than looking horrified she nodded and remained quiet. Mom whispered something to her and I looked suspicious at their little interaction.
"Now that that's taken care of we've made plans for the night. Milla and Chantal will be going home with Phil and Chick guarding the place. Koz will be patrolling Gillian's place. Tara and Abel will be staying with Opie and Lyla, just for the night and Gemma, well; we thought we'd ask what you want to do." Mom nodded, knowing they'd have to defer to her during the interim.
"I'll have Tara and Milla here with my grandbabies. Chantal can stay too, there are less windows here, less of a chance of a drive by. It would also make a statement that the women stick together." Chibs and Opie looked between us while I nodded, it made sense.
"I need my breast pump and medicine bag. I didn't think I'd be here all night." Mom looked triumphant and Tara looked annoyed.
"Don't I have a say?" She asked and I shook my head before I made sure she looked at me.
"No, this is for the best. I need to know you're safe." She looked into my eyes and nodded.
Once she agreed it was decided. Koz escorted Gillian home while Phil took Chantal back to the house and she packed a bag for us. Opie took Tara to pack a bag and soon enough everyone was situated.
I was resting in the guest bedroom with Esperanza in the bassinet right next to the bed. Mom had dismissed my nurse for the night and had taken it upon herself to be the nurse. I was unable to sleep, still embarrassed by my breakdown earlier and my attention was drawn to the door which opened a bit. I wasn't the least bit surprised to see my Mom poke her head in.
"I knew you weren't asleep." Mom said as she came in and sat on the bed with me.
"I know I fucked up Mom, you don't need to give me the speech. You're ashamed of my behavior." I sighed and looked in the bassinet, no matter what I adored that little girl.
"Don't go puttin' words in my mouth. I'm actually surprised you didn't break sooner. You're strong baby, really strong but you're too stubborn for your own good. You need to let us help you, I know you want to be Espy's world but you can't so deal with it." She looked into the bassinet with me and her face softened.
"What no berating me for being a subpar Old lady?" I asked, wanting to get it over with.
"Nothing subpar about you baby. You're loyal to your man, you live, breathe and bleed the club and you gave your man a beautiful baby girl. Nope, nothin' subpar about that. Just don't bottle that shit up anymore. Talk to Tara, to Gillian, even me if you want to don't let it come to a head again. Once you learn to do that everything will be fine." She moved her hand over and caressed my hair. "I love you baby, don't doubt that."
With that parting remark she got off the bed and went out the door while I wiped tears from my eyes. I had to be strong but not let everything fester like I did. All I could do was try.
* * *
I sat at the table waiting for them to bring in Juice. It had been a couple of days since my breakdown and I needed a one on one with my man. Ever since everything had went down with the Russians and my breakdown I felt a need for my man more than ever. I was drumming my fingers on the table when I heard the locks on the doors disengage and a guard brought Juice in. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I saw him. He gave me a small smile and sat at the table while the guard propped himself against the wall.
"Hey baby." He greeted while I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. It was so good to see him.
"Hey." I didn't say anything else.
"I heard about the Russians. Is Chantal ok? Are you ok?" He asked as he searched my face, no one in the world understood me like he did so I knew he saw me wrestling with my emotions.
"Chantal's fine, Phil's with her every moment. He even goes to work with her. I'm staying with Mom for a couple of days but Koz is making sure the house is ok. Your daughter is perfect." He smiled at that, I had Lowen bring him pictures of her and I knew he kept them with him as much as he could.
"Of course she's perfect. You didn't tell me if you were ok. I'm guessin the answer is no, you look like you're ready to fall apart." Like I said no one understood me like he did.
"I just feel like I'm not in control of my life anymore. I have to have people with me all the time to take care of me. I can't do simple things for my daughter and I don't have you. I need you." I said quietly and his smile turned sad.
"I need you too baby. Yeah you have to let other people take care of you now but that's not a bad thing. You've been taking care of me for years, taking care of the club. It's about time people return the favor. I know you're a control freak baby but you need to let that go. That's the best thing you can do for yourself, for Espy…for me." The manipulative bastard, he knew I'd do everything in my power to make him happy.
"I'm not a control freak, I just want things done a certain way and no one can do that but me." He chuckled and I had to laugh. I needed him and he needed me.
"You are a control freak baby and I love that. Takes a lot of pressure off me. You feelin' better?" He was flexing his fingers. He wanted to touch me as much as I wanted to touch him.
"Yeah, a lot better. I needed you to get my head straight." I adjusted my sling and he nodded.
"It's why I'm here. Who's with you?" Now that the big stuff had been worked out he could think about the mundane stuff.
"Opie, he doesn't trust the Russians so he insisted that he go with me while I "run errands". I like having him around." He smiled at that, he knew Opie was my big brother, even if it wasn't in blood.
"Where's Koz?" He had made Koz swear he'd be my bodyguard so he had to ask.
"He's hanging out at the hospital today; apparently he fucked up with Gillian and felt the need to provide full bodyguarding services. I don't know what he did, but if Gillian's mood this morning was nay indication, it was big." He chuckled and gave me that smile.
"You should have her with during the next family visit; I'd like to meet her. According to Bobby, Koz has it bad. I'd like to see the woman good enough to get him offa pussy patrol." His eyes sparkled in a smile and I felt my eyes respond.
"You saw her; she was working on me during the c-section." I reminded him but he shook his head.
"No baby, my eyes were on you the whole time. All I saw was my beautiful wife bringing our baby into the world." I smiled wider.
"I love you baby, more than anything, except our daughter." Our visit would be over soon and I hated it.
"I love you too baby, be sure you let Espy know Daddy loves her too." I nodded, wanting nothing more than to kiss him. "I know what your thinkin' baby and I want that too. Fucking Federal Prisons."
"Yeah, I'd give anything for a conjugal visit. Dr. Bremmer says the pacemaker fixed the majority of my heart problems so I'll be fine for sex once I heal from the other surgeries. Once you get out I'll be able to rock your world baby." I smirked and he groaned.
"You are evil woman, but that's why I love you. Never doubt that, no mstter how bad shit gets out there I want you to know that I'll never stop loving you." I nodded and felt my eyes mist up.
"Time's up!" The guard shouted and Juice kissed his fingers and placed them on the table, as soon as he moved his hand I kissed my fingers and placed them in the same spot. Since we couldn't kiss or even touch each other we had to be creative.
With one last "I love you" he was led out and I was escorted into the waiting area where I retrieved my shoes and purse. Once I had everything I walked out and greeted Opie.
"Get what you needed?" He asked as he opened the door for me.
"Yeah, he was just what I needed." I said as I settled in the seat. He got in and helped me buckle up.
"Good, there are a lot of people that would be lost without you." That was the last thing he said before we pulled out. I'd had my breakdown and worked through it. Now I had to work on letting people help me and handing over the reins once in a while. It was going to be hard but nothing in this life is ever easy.
* * *
**Author's Note:** So sorry for the delay. I was having some really intense personal problems for the last month and they were blocking this story for me. Over the last week they have subsided and I figured out what I wanted to do, needed to do. I'd like to thank my readers and I hope I can get a couple of reviews because as self-serving as it sounds, when people show their interest it does aid in my writing. It also makes me feel appreciated and for a long time the lack of reviews made me feel like I wasn't. Anyway, as above a special thanks to Superdani, Dutch '76 and Belle for reminding me that people do still read my stuff.
6. Chapter 6
**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters, with the exception of Gillian, belong to me. Gillian belongs to the wonderful and amazing Superdani, who is helping to feed my muse lately. I really appreciate all you do sweetheart.**
**Chapter Six**
"Knock, knock. " I said cheerfully as I walked into the office at TM, my banning from the premises was over and there was nothing I wanted to do more than to see Lyla.
"Sweetheart, what are you doing here?" Lyla asked as she got up from behind the desk and gave me a hug.
"It's been a few days…I missed you." She gave me a smile but simply stood with me, not offering me a place to sit or anything…something was up. "What's going on Lyla?"
I got my answer a few seconds later when a familiar and unwelcome head of blonde hair entered the office from the garage.
"I don't see why I have to use the back entrance Lyla…I mean it's not li-"The words died in Ima's throat when she caught my glare and I moved away from Lyla. Suddenly so angry there were spots in my vision.
"What the fuck is that _whore_ doing here Lyla? Didn't we make it clear that that thing isn't welcome in Sons territory?" My voice was colder than it had ever been with Lyla, seeing Ima brought back feelings of betrayal and disgust so intense that I could barely remain upright.
"Milla, she's my frien-" I put up my good hand and cut her off.
"No she's not; she's a selfish, arrogant, haughty little bitch who gets off on fucking with others. She's hurt me, hurt this club and hurt Tara. She's not worth the air she's breathing." I spit the last out and Ima's eyes were wide.
"I'm so-" Lyla came up to me and I made sure I kept her at arm's length.
"You have a choice here Lyla, a very simple one. Ima or the club, there really is no other option. My Dad and Jax both made the call that she's not welcome. Just by having her set foot here you've broken club trust. I fucking _know_ Opie told you she wasn't welcome." Ima seemed to find herself again and drew herself up, but her response wasn't what I was expecting.
"She knew, she tried to tell me to back off but I came anyway. This isn't on Lyla. I needed help and…I had no one else, she's the only one I could trust, the only one who would actually help me. I'm sorry for all that other shit, really, I know now that your brother only wanted me for a quick fuck. I'll never be an Old Lady or anything to the club, I really do get it. Just please, let Lyla help me." She pleaded and I felt my eyes go flat. I believed parts but Ima could be a talented little actress when she wanted to be.
"What's your problem?" I was one hundred percent positive that I wouldn't let Lyla help her but I was curious about her reasons. She wasn't stupid and knew she was risking a lot of wrath by coming here.
"I tried to go out on my own, do the solo star thing. Wanted something like House of Jameson." I snorted; she sure as hell was no Jenna Jameson. "I started working with this computer guy, setting up my apartment with cameras and shit. I just found out that he's filming me all the time and broadcasting it on his site. I'm not getting a fucking penny and I signed papers that gave him the right to do it. I wanted Lyla to come over and help me get the camera's out of my fucking walls."
"No, she's not going with you. Opie wouldn't want his fiancée on some voyeur's private website. As for your problem, it's what you get for signing a contract without having a lawyer go over it. Lyla, go in the rolodex and look in the T's. Find Tomol, Roland." Lyla did as she was told and took the card out of the ancient rolodex that Mom just couldn't seem to part with. As she handed it to me I looked at Ima, not sure why I was even offering her this much help.
"This is the number of one of our associates. He's not a lawyer but he knows several who are affordable. Just copy his number into your phone, we need the card." Ima nodded and took the card before she furiously started typing the number in, then she handed it to Lyla who was still looking a little scared.
"Thank you, thank you so much. I just didn't know what to do. Why are you helping me?" She asked and I gave her a considering look.
"You and I have history Ima and not all of it's bad." She smiled but I shook my head to let her know that that wasn't the right response. "Also I'm considering this your payoff. You _never_ come here again or I will make sure you get taken out to the foothills…nothing good ever happens there to people who piss off the club. Finally I'm doing it so that you don't press charges."
"Charges?" She asked and Lyla's eyes went wide while I smirked.
"Chantal came with me…she told you what she was going to do to you the next time she saw you. Didn't she sugar?" I asked when the door opened and I could feel Chantal's presence.
"You! What the fuck are you doing here?" Chantal asked as she saw Ima, then it was on. Ima went out the back and Chantal was on her heels. Lyla and I went out in the parking lot in time to see Chantal tackle Ima and straddle her while she started raining punches. No sissy slap fights with Chantal.
"Chanty…I'm sorry…please…" Ima pleaded and I saw some blood trickling out of her mouth. The pleading made Chantal stop punching but she grabbed Ima's hair in both hands and held her head to the ground.
"I told you to leave my family the fuck alone. Didn't I Ima? Now I see you on our turf, with Milla and Lyla, two of the three I _specifically _told you to stay away from. There is no excuse good enough for you to be here…none. You betrayed everyone when you went to Georgie, could have gotten Milla killed, then you worked for Darby…then you hurt Tara. No excuses can trump that shit. I will let you walk out of here today, but the next time I see you around _my _fucking family, you'll be leaving in a body bag." She said the last so coldly and so finally that I felt a shiver go down my spine and in that moment I mourned the fact that she'd never be an Old Lady…she was made for this shit.
"I'm sorry…" Ima sobbed and Chantal crawled off of her. Suddenly Phil appeared and I looked around, shocked to see the guys formed in a semi-circle around us, watching the show. Phil helped her up and walked her back toward us. Ima pushed herself up and put a hand to her face, she winced when she touched her nose and her jaw. Chantal had done some damage.
"Just go Ima." I commanded and she scrambled up and ran across the lot to where she had parked inconspicuously with the repo cars…smart move. She peeled out of the lot and Lyla stood, looking very apologetic.
"What was she doing here?" I almost jumped when Chibs spoke and Lyla hung her head.
"She needed help, wouldn't take no for an answer." Opie sighed before he walked over and threw an arm around Lyla.
"We get it baby, no harm." I nodded; all my initial anger was gone. I knew Lyla would choose us, we were her family now.
"We should go inside, Chucky gets nervous around Esperanza and Neeta's not in a good mood. Everyone nodded and I moved over to Chantal and put my arm around her waist. "No one hurts your fucking family, huh?"
"Got that right." She smiled and kissed the top of my head as we walked into the clubhouse.
* * *
"When's the new Physical Therapist showing up!" I shouted to Chantal who was in the living room while I managed to change Espy's diaper one handed.
"Any minute now. The bitch is late." Chantal grumbled as she walked into the room with a fresh bottle, she'd be keeping Espy occupied while I had my appointment.
"She's new, cut her some slack. What's her name by the way?" I asked as I finished with the diaper. Chantal came over to me and put Espy in her onesy and the little outfit for the day.
"Carmen Ortega." As soon as she said the name I dropped the bottle of baby powder I was holding before I scrambled to pick it up before she noticed. I was too late and she raised an eyebrow. "You know her?"
"You could say that." I said breathlessly while the doorbell rang. There was no one in the house but me and Chantal so that meant it was up to me to answer the door since Chantal was balancing Espy in her arms with the bottle. With a deep breath I walked out into the living room and crossed the floor. I hadn't seen Carmen in almost four years and I wasn't prepared. With another deep breath I opened the door and looked into that all too familiar face…I was right…I wasn't prepared.
"Milla?" She asked and her eyes widened as she looked me over and I felt my heart clench the way it always used to with her. She was still as beautiful as she always was. A perfect blend of Shakira and Olivia Wilde. She was tall, curvy, bright green-blue eyes and a wicked smile… Damn, it suddenly got hot in here.
"Hi, Carmen." I moved out of the way and she took it for the invitation it was.
"I read Millicent Ortiz and never imagined that it was you. Ortiz?" She asked and I was drawn in by the way her eyes sparkled. She looked around and I cursed myself. There was baby paraphernalia everywhere and Koz had had a pity party last night and I didn't have time to clean up his mess.
"Yeah, almost a year." I pointed to my finger with my ever present engagement ring and wedding band.
"He's a lucky bastard…" She let it drift before she cleaned off a section of couch and grinned as she picked up one of Espy's reaper onsies. "Yours?"
"My baby's in her nursery right now with a friend. Keeping her in there so they don't interrupt the session." She sat and motioned for me to sit next to her. I couldn't seem to take my eyes off her
"Married with a baby, I never thought I'd see this. Shot on the other hand…not surprised." She tried to joke but there was a strain in her voice. She'd just inadvertently brought up one of the big reasons our relationship ended.
"Yeah…anyway why don't we go over the exercises?" I finally took the seat next to her and she looked confused for a minute.
"Exercises? Oh right. Well, since this is our first session I thought we'd just go over what your doctor wants then do some of the simpler exercises." I nodded and listened as she went over the exercises and I signed her paperwork. During our brief talk I couldn't help but notice that our hands kept on brushing each other and I shamefully admit to giggling and blushing when she complimented me. As Carmen was helping me out of my sling Chantal came out carrying a very unhappy Esperanza. I couldn't help but notice that Chantal didn't look too happy either.
"What's wrong?" I asked and Carmen moved away while Chantal put Espy in my arms. I started to rock her but when that didn't work I realized the issue. "Can someone help me prop her, she's got a burp stuck."
Chantal made a move toward us but Carmen got there faster and she helped me prop up Espy. I rubbed circles and did little taps on her back and soon there was a little burp and she settled down. I kissed the top of her head and Chantal came back to get her.
"Sorry, I burped her and she let out a little one." I nodded, Espy was the queen of the fakeout.
"No problem, Chantal this is Carmen Ortega, Carmen this is my friend and godsend Chantal Tao. She's living here with me." Carmen nodded and they shook hands.
"When do I meet Mr. Ortiz?" Carmen asked and I could see a bit of hardness in her eyes. Another reason we didn't work was that Carmen wanted forever and I was too scared. I was scared of what my family thought, scared of violence against us but more importantly scared of the concept of forever. Juice was the one who blew that fear to smithereens.
"Not for a while." I didn't elaborate and she didn't push. Good, she was professional.
"Ok, you can stay in the room Ms. Tao. I'm simply going to help Milla remove the sling, then try some height exercise to see how far she can move her arm." Chantal nodded and sat in the armchair while Carmen slowly and carefully undid the sling. I watched as her fingers moved over the straps and gently slid them away. I had always loved her hands. A light cough from the direction of the arm chair distracted me and I looked up to see Chantal giving me a disapproving look. I gave myself a mental shake and before I did anything else embarrassing I decided to concentrate on the matters at hand.
She had me do multiple arm lifts and my arm was throbbing by the time I was done. She saw my pain and had me stop. I was grateful. She helped me put my sling back on and took my hand in hers. She stared at the rings and moved her eyes to mine, I saw a flurry of emotion there but it ended with acceptance.
"It was really good to see you Milla. Lord knows I've missed you." She let go of my hand took a deep breath and stood. "Looks like I'm done for the day. I'll file this paperwork then we'll be set for the twice weekly sessions."
"Good, thank you Carmen. I'll walk you to the door." She smiled and I stood. My hand brushed hers on the way out and without any conscious thought I hooked my pinky with hers…just like the old days. She grinned and opened the door for herself before she stepped out.
"Goodbye Milla, I'll see you Thursday." She let go of my pinky and quickly squeezed my hand.
"Thursday." I said quietly and she leaned in to kiss my cheek. I didn't do anything else and she just walked down the steps. I sighed and leaned on the jamb. I'd forgotten how nice her ass was.
"What the fuck Milla?" Chantal asked after I turned around and she'd placed Espy in her bassinet,
"What?" I asked and shut the door behind me, being sure to lock and deadbolt it.
"You and _Carmen_! You two were practically all over each other." She accused and I hung my head.
"Carmen's my ex. She's the last person I dated before Juice." Chantal's eyes were wide as saucers. "We've been over for years."
"You've been with a woman before…Does Juice know?" She asked as she sat down heavily on the chair.
"I wasn't with her, with her. We dated and it ended before things got too intimate. Well physically intimate, before Juice came along I thought I'd lost the love of my life. I'm sorry I never told you, only a few people know, Juice does…you know how this is treated in my world, our world." I pleaded and she looked at me sadly.
"Ok, that explains a lot. I just wish you would have told me." She sighed and gave me a considering look. "So, if I would have met you before Juice would we have? Could we have?"
"Chantal, you're beautiful, brilliant, kind and tenacious but I've never felt that way about you. I'm so sorry. I do love you." She smiled.
"I love you too; now let's go get you some lunch. Neeta left some roast chicken and garlic potatoes. To die for." I laughed and walked to Chantal. She placed an arm around my waist and led me into the kitchen. She was still upset but she was going to let it go for now.
* * *
"They'll be fine, it's just a negotiation. No weapons, no heavies, just the guys in Putlova's restaurant. Stop pacing and tell me about _Carmen_." Mom commanded snidely.
"What's to tell, she finally got her PT certification and is working in St. Thomas and I'm her first client here. Not a big thing." I shrugged and Mom scoffed.
"Chantal seems to think it's a big thing. The girl called me all upset. She seems to think you'll be taking advantage of the prison clause." I looked up, shocked by Mom's accusation. I was loyal, not just to the club but to my man, my love.
"How can you fucking say that Mom? Juice and Esperanza are my life. Yes Carmen is as sultry and beautiful as ever but I'm a married woman. I love my husband." I slammed down the glass I was drinking and Mom nodded before she inhaled some of her joint. I was pissed that she was smoking in my house but we had negotiated things when they had expanded her house arrest radius. Now she could move in a four and a half block radius. She was already going back to TM. Good behavior and history as a productive and active citizen could pull a lot of weight with the review board.
"Keep that in mind darlin'. I know you miss the moron but don't let that cloud your judgment." I felt like crying, I did miss my husband, more than anything but not enough to rekindle some long spent flame.
"Whatever. Do you know what's up with Gillian? All I know is that Koz did something unpardonable and she doesn't feel safe around us anymore. I miss her." I said sadly and Mom got a thoughtful look.
"Can't tell you. Gilly trusts me with her secret." I gaped at Mom, angry and upset by her admission.
"Fine, you won't share, I'm going into the living room with my daughter." I got up and walked into the living room, smiling at Gerard, my new day nurse. He was gay as the day is long and absolutely wonderful.
"Hey Milla, I just fed Espy. She'll be down for a while. I think now would be the time to check your chest bandages." I nodded, he was right. I sat on the chair and took off my sling while he took out the gauze and sterile tape. I was healing wonderfully but until it was completely healed I needed my bandages changed twice a week. Usually Gillian did it but lately she'd been finding reasons to stay as far away from us as possible. I didn't understand and Koz was confused all the time. He had no idea what he did, but he knew was that it was bad. Now he was walking around like a zombie and focused completely on club stuff. So focused that he'd been sleeping in the clubhouse and we had Chick and Phil watching over us. With Gerard's help my shirt was unbuttoned and my camisole was up toward my throat. He removed the old bandages and was cleaning the crud off my last stitches when the door opened.
"Whoa, whoa now! Didn't ever wanna see that." Opie covered his eyes with his hand while the other guys followed suit.
"If you guys will just wait a few minutes I'll have this done." Gerard said as he applied salve to the still healing portion of the incision and applied new gauze. "At least I wasn't working on the C-Section bandages…Ooh that reminds me. Gillian asked me if I wanted a double shift so I'll be working with you tonight. I'll change your bandages after I help you in the tub." At the mention of Gillian's name Koz groaned and I had to look over. He had schooled his face into a hard mask; he wasn't going to give anything away.
"You sure you're queer boy? You sound a little too interested in dealing with our girl's bits." Chibs asked and Gerard helped me get back into my shirt and sling.
"Yes sir, I'm sure I'm _gay_. No need to go to Mr. Ortiz." I chuckled and moved into a more comfortable position on the couch. "Well now that that's handled I'll move Espy into the nursery and let you guys talk."
Gerard got up to walk to the bassinet and Opie stopped him.
"No, you're going to the gas station two blocks down and you're going to pick up some stuff. Don't care what. Just don't head back for say…forty-five minutes." Opie took out a fifty and put it in Gerard's hand. Gerard grew up in Charming, he knew the drill. He nodded to me and Ma, who had wandered in when the bikes pulled up, and went out the door.
"He out of the way?" Ope asked a few seconds later and Chibs nodded before they shut and deadbolted the door.
"Alright now that it's clear. We'll let you know what's going on with the Russians." Koz said in a no-nonsense voice that made me completely uneasy. "First of all you're safe, all the women are safe. No need for increased protection detail anymore. I'll be coming back home."
I just stared at him, wishing I could take away whatever he did and set things right again. Chibs came and sat on one of the armchairs while Ma sat on the arm of the couch next to me and started playing with my hair. I was either going to have to chop it off again or find a new way to style it. Too many people used my hair like some ritual fetish object.
"You're safe but we had to agree to some things we're not proud of." Mom nodded and Chibs continued. "We'll be givin' the Russians any and all bonuses we get from the Irish. We get to keep runnin' the guns but all we get to keep is enough to keep it runnin' and some overhead. We owe them the two million plus interest."
I hissed and I could feel tension in Mom, but we both stared at them and willed them to continue.
"We'll still be makin' a tidy profit, just not as good as it was. We also have to do protection runs for them in the less-than-nice neighborhoods. Help them keep up appearances and- "Chibs sighed. "We agreed to let them pimp their girls out in Charming. They won't touch our women if we let them do that. We know this goes against what the Club stands for but it as the lesser of two evils. Koz's meetin' with Clay tomorrow to give him the rundown but this is happenin'."
"We also have to take care of a little problem Putlova has with one of his brothers. If we do it it'll shave off a good two hundred grand from the payback. We just need Tara and…Gillian's help to get it done." I looked at Koz and at the mention of her name he visibly flinched but straightened himself out again.
"Ok, thank you for telling us. We'll let Chantal and Gillian know the women are safe. You need us to do anything?" Mom was ever the queen and all three guys shook their heads.
"We just need you to keep doin' what you're doin'. If you see or hear anything suspicious you know the drill." Chibs answered and I nodded with Mom.
"Thank you, for looking out for us." Chibs smiled and got up. He moved until he was by the couch and sat down next to me. I smiled as he put his arm across my shoulders.
"We'd die for you lovey, kill for you too." He kissed the top of my head and I nodded. I knew they would.
* * *
I woke up the next morning and moved around the house. Koz had drunk himself into a stupor the night before so I cleaned up his mess and made sure that I put on a fresh pot of coffee and ordered breakfast from Stumpy's that was going to be delivered. Why did I do this?
Simple, I had a plan. I had asked Gerard to call Gillian and tell her I needed her in the morning. She agreed, so I was going to sit her down with Koz and have them hash it out. They were good for each other and no matter what he'd done I was sure it wasn't something unforgiveable. I was in the middle of setting my table when there was a knock at the door. I was glad that I'd put the "please knock" sign on the door. I wasn't expecting the breakfast this early but I could always warm it in the oven. I grabbed some money from my purse and went to the door. When I opened it I almost dropped the money. There was Carmen, shit it was Thursday.
"Hey Milla, ready for the next session?" She grinned and I sighed before I looked around her and saw Gillian coming up the walk. Fuck, nothing was going as planned.
"Go in and sit on the couch Carmen, I have to talk to Gillian." She looked around and got a look of distaste on that pretty face.
"Nurse Icy, I'll go in and wait. Don't keep me long cutie." She flirted and moved around me as I looked at Gillian and saw the same look of distaste on her face.
"What's she doing here Milla?" Gillian asked as she balanced her bag on her shoulder.
"She's my new physical therapist. Come in Gillian, I've missed you." I moved out of the way and she entered the house, giving a suspicious look to Carmen. I didn't know what happened between the two but there was no love lost.
"Umm, Gerard said you'd need me this morning but if she's here…" She looked around like a deer in headlights. She had to have seen Koz's bike outside and she was nervous.
"Well I was hoping you'd watch Esperanza while we go through my exercises. Then maybe you'd help rearrange the diaper bag. We're going to see her Daddy in a couple of days and I need to separate the stuff from the regular diaper bag to the clear bag." She nodded, she understood.
"Ok, no problem. Do me a favor though, watch yourself around her, don't ask me why but I don't trust her around you." God, she sounded just like Mom and Chantal but I nodded anyway. She gave me a stern look before she moved around me and went down the hall to the nursery, not even bothering to acknowledge Carmen on the couch.
"What did I do?" Carmen asked and I shrugged.
"Never mind. Can we skip the big exercises? I have stuff to do this morning." I asked and Carmen smiled so wide those damn green-blue eyes sparkled brightly.
"Didn't you notice? I arrived two hours early; I thought we'd have a chance to catch up." I sighed and was saved from answering when there was another knock at the door. I looked out the window and saw the delivery boy for Stumpy's, here not a moment too soon. I went out on the small porch and made the transaction. I was happy to see that I could actually balance the box. The happiness changed to frustration when I almost dropped it. Carmen saw my distress and grabbed the box before we moved into the kitchen and she helped divide the food. As we were putting the finishing touches on the plates I heard the distinctive sound of boots on the stairs. Good, Koz was up. He walked through the door, looking better than he should have after his night of drinking but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Carmen.
"Hello Carmen, I thought you agreed to leave Milla alone?" Koz was definitely in a mood.
"Hello to you to Mr. Kozik." She finished scooping out the hashbrowns and stood. "Well the breakfast is ready."
I had filled her in on who it was for and she agreed to help. I gave her a nod and had Koz sit down before I went in the nursery where Gillian was reading a magazine. Once I got in the door I leaned on the jamb.
"Hey Gillian, can you help me in the kitchen for a few minutes. I want some oatmeal when Carmen leaves and need some help." Gillian put down the magazine and moved past me without a word. I followed closely behind in order to block her path and almost ran into her when she saw Koz and stopped in her tracks. Gillian stood still and I saw that Koz had risen to his feet.
"Did you do this?" She asked him coldly as she gestured to the food. I had never heard her talking like this. "Did you drag Milla into your _plans?"_
"No Gillian, I swear, I just sat down and Carmen told me the food was for me and Milla." When he said my name he glared at me and I felt horrible. This was not my intention at all. Gillian turned her cold eyes to me.
"What the hell is all this Milla? What were you trying to accomplish. I told you I didn't want him in my life anymore!" She yelled and I shrunk in on myself.
"I'm sorry; I didn't want to upset either of you. You're so good together I wanted you to hash it out over breakfast. I don't know what he did but I'm sure you two could work it out. I'm so sorry if I hurt you." Gillian's face turned colder, if it was possible, and it was that cold rage which was worse than anger.
"You had no right to force this on me, none. Just because this is inconveniencing you, you feel that you have the right to manipulate people and treat people any way you want. I thought you were my friend Milla, but maybe you're too selfish and spoiled to be anyone's friend." She rushed past me and went to the nursery. Barely any time had passed before she darted down the hall and ran through the door. I could hear her crying.
I looked at Koz and he was looking at me with disgust, a look I never thought I'd ever see on Koz's face. He picked up his plate and threw it against the wall and as it shattered he turned to me.
"How could you do this Milla? You made everything fucking worse! I can't even look at you right now!" He stomped to the stairs before he turned around. "I'm getting my stuff and moving to the clubhouse. I'll send someone else over, someone you won't try to screw over."
He was down the stairs and I stood motionless as Carmen came over and pulled me into her arms. She held me as I cried and kept me from chasing after Koz when he stomped out the door. I clutched her and was almost distracted by the same citrus scent she always wore. I managed to stop crying and moved away from her. I went to the destroyed plate and started to clean up when Carmen knelt down and helped me. I picked up an egg and didn't realize there was some porcelain underneath it and sliced my finger. As I lifted it to inspect the damage, Carmen took my hand in hers and brought my finger to her lips and kissed it before she brought it between her lips. I was fascinated by the sight and forced myself to look away. Unfortunately, I looked into her eyes and saw her staring at me.
Without even thinking I started to move toward her and she took my finger from her mouth and moved toward me to. Before my mouth made contact with hers Espy started screaming and I moved quickly away. Without Carmen's help I got up and practically ran to the nursery. Once inside I moved down the railing to the crib and with a mixture of determination and luck I managed to balance Espy in the crook of my right arm and I sat on the rocking chair. Gillian had left a bottle that was already warm and ready for Espy by the chair so I sat and fed my little girl while I tried to make sense of everything that had just happened.
I had just potentially destroyed relationships with two people I cared about, one that I considered a brother and loved as such. I'd let an ex that I was still attracted to into my life without thinking about the consequences. I'd also almost kissed that ex. Why was I actively sabotaging my life? I thought of Carmen again and tried not to; I was still replaying the almost-kiss in my head and wanted it to stop. I looked around the room and saw the picture that was taken after I started to develop my bump. Juice was holding me with his hand splayed protectively over my stomach. In that moment we were a family and there was love shining in both of our eyes. Then it hit me. I need to hug and kiss and touch my husband. Once I could do that I'd be able to look past this insane lust. That cemented the idea in my mind. I needed to talk to Lowen about full contact visits, not these partials where we were allowed to be in a room without glass but couldn't touch. I needed my man.
With that decision made I finished feeding my baby and had to call in Carmen to help me burp her. She came in and I motioned that I didn't feel like talking. She nodded in understanding and helped me with Espy before she left, knowing that physical therapy was the last thing on my mind. I called Lyla and she came over to help with Espy until Neeta came for the afternoon shift. I told Lyla everything and she held me while I cried before she had me look at her.
"You may be a little selfish and you may be spoiled but you're loyal and you have the biggest heart ever. Gillian'll come around and so will Koz, just have faith sweetie. Too many of us love you to let them treat you like anything other than our princess. Come on, you rest on the couch and I'll play with Esperanza until Neeta gets here." I took her advice and lay down on the couch. I was suddenly too tired to move and fell asleep. Maybe things would be better when I woke up but I wouldn't have bet on it.
* * *
**Author's Note: **If any of you are confused by things that are going on just message me and if you aren't already reading **Superdani's **story _The Nurse and the Son_ do so. A lot of the things that happen in this story are in direct reference to events in her story. We're working collaboratively on our respective stories. As always thank you for reading and reviewing.
7. Chapter 7
**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters, with the exception of Gillian, belong to me. Gillian belongs to the wonderful and amazing Superdani. I really appreciate all you do sweetheart. Original storylines are also my own**
**Chapter Seven**
"So, physical therapy? I thought you were going to be a brain surgeon." I raised an eyebrow at Carmen and she shook her head.
"I was but during my first year at Mayo I met this old woman, she couldn't even get out of her chair by herself, her muscles were atrophied and she was just a mess. I worked with her everyday and eventually she started to get strength back. I realized that that was my calling. So rather than going for neuro surgery I decided to go into physical therapy and I haven't looked back since. I'm just glad I chose Orthopedics otherwise I wouldn't have the chance to work with you." She grinned and I frowned. Ever since the near-kiss in the kitchen she'd been flirtier than usual and very insistent on being alone with me. Chantal didn't trust her and made sure someone was with us the whole time. Today it was Mom.
"If Milla didn't need an Orthopedic therapist would you still have come to St. Thomas? I heard you only moved here a month ago." Mom stared at her steadily and I tensed up as Carmen rubbed slow, firm circles along the back of my neck. It felt good but Juice was the one with the magic touch.
"I was always planning on moving to a small community, I didn't think it would be Charming though. It was made painfully clear that I wasn't welcome." She gave Mom a sharp look and Mom just calmly stared at her.
"Would you still be here if her husband was around? The way tongues wag in this town I know you know the story." Mom was in rare form.
"I don't care what you believe Mrs. Teller-Morrow; I'm here for the job. Yes I know about Mr. Ortiz, Mr. Morrow and the others but that doesn't mean anything. I'm here for the job." She lifted my arm until it started shaking then settled it down again. "Or do you think I have enough foresight to start a career in Orthopedic physical therapy on the off chance that the only person I've ever loved will have trauma. That's giving me a bit too much credit."
"Ummm, maybe we should cut this session short?" I suggested and realization dawned in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry Milla, I really am a professional. I shouldn't have risen to the bait like that. Alright, we finished with your height exercises, now let's move onto rotation. According to your records the surgical wounds are healed on your arm and your collarbone is in the final stages. Next week we'll be able to add rotation to the exercise list. Are you doing your exercises before bed?" She poised her pens to take some notes.
"Yes, I usually have my night nurse help but she recently had to quit so I've had Chantal and Phil help me out." As soon as I said the names she made a face.
"That's not good; you should have someone with training. I'll find you a new nurse, you need as much help as you can get." She made a note and I felt Mom tense.
"She has the help she needs. Chantal is more than qualified to help her with exercises." I felt a smile tug my lips. She'd kept Chantal at more than arms length, treated her as something other, something different. Now she was defending her like she'd defend any member of our extended family.
"Well just consider getting a new nurse. I'll get you a few numbers." She then proceeded to press my still sore collarbone and had me extend my arm in front. I placed my hand on her shoulder and pushed forward. She had me do that for ten reps then I was done, my arm and chest were aching.
"I can't do this anymore, sorry." I apologized and Carmen shook her head.
"No need to apologize, you're actually doing much better than your injuries would suggest." Carmen smiled at me and I felt my heart flutter a bit. Damn I needed my husband.
"I'm too stubborn to let this stop me." Mom snorted and continued to watch us with overly attentive eyes.
"Not stubborn…determined." Carmen's eyes hooded slightly and I felt myself blush before I shook my head and looked away. I looked over at Mom and saw her glaring openly at Carmen while she helped me with my sling and moved away. "I should be going, lot's of paperwork."
She stood but before I could get up too Mom stopped me with a hand to my shoulder and walked her out. She closed the door behind them and though I couldn't hear the words they said the tone was far from friendly. The sound of feet stomping off drew my attention to the door as Mom came back in with a triumphant look on her face. I raised an eyebrow and grabbed a magazine from my coffee table. Even with Juice inside I still got his _Tech World News, Wired, Popular Mechanics_ and _Game Informer_. He went through them like they were nothing every month and I was collecting them. Yeah he had access to a couple of them in the prison library but it was one little thing I did that helped me feel closer to him. I also read them on occasion which was what I was doing now.
"We're gonna find you a new PT baby, I don't want that skank working with you. She's already caused enough trouble." She sat in the chair she'd recently vacated and I shook my head.
"She's good at what she does Ma, I'm getting strength back in my arm. Last week I could only do three push reps, now I can do ten. I'd say that's a marked improvement. Yeah we have a history, but it's over. She just needs to get used to it." I found an interesting looking article in _Wired_ about the new IPhone apps and decided to read that and ignore my mother's aggravatingly wise counsel. Unfortunately she would not be ignored.
"She wants you baby, we all see it. Maybe your head will be right after you see Juice this week but for now just sit back and let me take care of things. I'll have Tara find us a good replacement." I squared my shoulders and continued to stare at the magazine, not really reading just looking at the words.
We sat there, her willing to talk but me unwilling to listen until Chantal came home from work. Once she arrived she helped Mom fix dinner while Phil helped me with Esperanza in the living room. He had certainly taken his job as Uncle Phil seriously, so seriously in fact that he was the only one Ellie didn't watch like a hawk. I thought about everything with Carmen while Phil helped me change Espy's outfit. I knew logically that Mom was right, it was an awful idea to have her here, around me, but with all the upheaval that had been going on in my life recently it was comforting to have someone around who had been a steady presence in my life, even if it was in the past. It also felt great to have someone in my life that treated me like "Milla" not an Old Lady or one of SAMCRO's women. In a way it reminded me of how Juice treated me when it was just me and him. When we were alone I was his Milla and he was just my Juice. I sighed and smoothed the shining black hair on Espy's head. At least with her I was Mommy and that was all I needed to be.
* * *
"What do you want for your birthday Elliedoll?" I asked as I tried to keep a relaxed hold on the grocery cart. One of the things suggested in my physical therapy workbook was to go without the sling for at least an hour a day and today I decided to do it while I went grocery shopping with Ellie and Lyla. I'd been sequestered in my house for over a week and other than a couple trips to TM and Ma's I'd been restricted. Things would have been different if I would have had a Son available to take me but with increased gun and protection runs and Koz's abandonment I was left with minimal to no protection and since my house was pretty innocuous it was decided that it was the best spot for me. Now I was free to go out in public, I had Lyla and Ellie for companionship and Miles for protection I was good.
"Season One of _Suite Life of Zach and Cody_ on DVD or _Wizards of Waverly Place_. I'm not picky." I smiled indulgently and Lyla leaned over to whisper in my ear.
"Get her the wizard show, Chantal already picked her up _Suite Life_." I nodded and finally found a comfortable position for my arm.
"Would you guys mind if I got some groceries too. Mom has been having the prospects fill my pantry with stuff she likes and thinks I should eat. Koz isn't there to feed my junk food habit." I felt my throat constrict painfully. He hadn't talked to me in over a week and the two times I saw him he had urgent things to do in the garage. I missed him. Lyla saw my face and stopped the cart to take me in a hug. As I rested my head on her shoulder Ellie shouted and rushed down the aisle.
"Gillian!" I moved out of the hug and Lyla watched with me as Gillian caught Ellie and gave her a quick squeeze.
"Hi Gillian." Lyla said with a smile while I was firmly rooted in place. This was a new situation for me. Usually my plans went off with little to no collateral damage or at least damage to me. Gillian had been avoiding me as much as Koz had. Without her I had a huge empty spot in my nursing rotation but more than that I'd lost a friend. What bothered me most was that there wasn't any maliciousness on my part. I simply wanted everything to work out between her and Koz, I didn't mean to hurt her. She looked at Lyla and made a pointed effort not to look at me. I was never one to shy away from confrontation but this one had me at a loss.
"Hi Lyla, shopping I see. Are those candles?" Gillian asked and Ellie beamed.
"Yep, I turn nine next week. You have to come to my party. It's at my house and everyone will be there. Ooohh Uncle Koz can bring you. He hasn't been around lately but he promised me a ride on his bike. You can go after me though." Despite everything I was feeling I had to smile, Ellie wasn't a stupid kid, she knew there was tension between Gillian and Koz but she was playing dumb. She knew there were very few people that could resist her when she went all cute and peppy.
"We'll see what happens with my schedule. Listen I have to pick up some stuff for my dinner tonight. How about I take you, Piper and Kenny out for ice cream later this week? How does that sound?" Gillian knelt down to Ellie's level and Ellie nodded.
"Gillian you don't have to do that. We have ice cream at home, you can stop by. No problem, right Ellie?" Lyla asked and Ellie nodded.
"I'll call later this week to find a time. I really should be going. Bye Ellie, Lyla…Milla." She said the last quickly and moved around us as fast as she could without looking rude. Ellie cocked her head and took me in before she walked over and gave me a hug.
"Don't worry Auntie Milla she's just upset about something. She'll get over it and you'll be friends again. Don't forget that you still have me." She looked up and I leaned down to kiss her head.
"I'll never forget that I have you." She smiled and unwound her arms from around me and took my hand as we went down the aisle. Yeah, I'd never forget that I had her.
* * *
I stood just outside the bay doors watching Koz as he bent over the open hood of some car in the garage. I was sick of not knowing where I stood with him. He'd been part of my life ever since he prospected for the club. I was there when he got his patch, I was there when he became a Man of Mayhem, He was the first Son I'd ever visited in prison and he was the first one I told when I broke the taboo and started dating a woman. He'd held me when I cried over Alex and had held my hand when I got my first tattoo. We had too much history to let one tiny misunderstanding unravel us. I needed him and I knew that in some way shape or form he needed me too.
"You gonna stand there all day?" I jumped when Koz stood and slammed the hood closed.
"We need to talk." I stood straight and was happy when my voice came out strong and firm.
"Yeah we do…Thought you would have showed up sooner." He wiped his hands on a rag and just stood staring at me.
"Can we go to the picnic tables? I don't feel like hashing it out here." I asked and he nodded before he moved past me and led the way. He sat down in one of the tables farther away from the clubhouse and waited for me. I found a way onto the bench and sat, suddenly more nervous than I'd been in a while. The last thing I wanted to do was screw this up.
"How are you doin? Ope says you've been going without the sling a bit. Is Espy ok?" He placed his hands in front of him and I just looked at him. He looked slightly better than before but still awful.
"I'm doing better, Dr. Bremmer says the heart's great and Carmen's helping me quite a bit with the arm. I still have a long way to go but I'm doing better. Esperanza's wonderful; she's almost completely healed from the surgery. Dr. Nior says she's as stubborn as I am." The corners of his mouth turned up a little and he nodded.
"Any problems with the house?" So this was how it was going to be, a Q&A session. Not if I could help it.
"Everything's fine with everything except us. I'm sorry Koz." I took a deep breath and Koz gave a curt nod.
"Yeah, I know you are. Why'd you do that kiddo?" Koz tapped his hand on the table and I blew out the breath I'd just taken.
"I didn't want to hurt anyone, I just wanted you two to work out whatever this is keeping you apart. You're good together. I promise you that I only meant to help you." I looked down and heard Koz swear.
"Fuck! I know kiddo, I fucking knew the next day. Don't you see where I was coming from?" He asked and I shook my head.
"Not really, I just wanted to help. I don't see why it was so bad. Maybe if I knew what you did I'd understand the reaction I got." I silently pleaded with him and he ran a hand through his hair before he ran it over his face.
"I fucked up, I got drunk and treated Gillian like a croweater. I didn't mean to be so fucking stupid. Then that little get together you planned made everything worse. I was so fucking angry with myself that I took it out on you and yeah I'm annoyed by your meddling but I should have expected it." He gave me a once over. "I should have come back."
"Yeah you should have, or you should have at least given me a chance to explain myself. I really didn't mean to fuck shit up for you Koz, the breakfast was supposed to be an opportunity for the two of you to work out your shit. Damn I'm a broken record. This is my last statement on the issue. I'm sorry and I love you." I stood up and walked into the clubhouse where Opie was waiting to drive me home. If Koz forgave me I'd be seeing him later. If not I'd just have to find a way to live with it. There were plenty of Sons and Old Ladies who couldn't stand me and I dealt with them. I met Opie's eyes and he nodded before he walked out with me. By the time we got back outside Koz was gone and I sighed. I'd know soon if our talk had any effect.
A few hours later I was home and on the phone with Lowen. They were going to have to change the parameters of our visits for the next few weeks. There was a small scuffle in the yard between our guys and the Aryans, Juice got some of the worst of it and had to get some stitches from the infirmary. When she told me I couldn't breathe but she assured me he was going to be ok. Unfortunately since they were actively participating in the fight they had to have some of their privileges suspended, including contact visits and family visits. I could still see him every week but it would be behind glass. I felt tears in my eyes but kept myself in check as Lowen filled me in. Before we hung up a bike pulled into the driveway and I mentally cursed whoever arrived. The last person I wanted to see was a Son. I had Neeta with me and she was all I needed. I hung up with Lowen when the door unlocked and Koz walked in with his bedroll under his arm and duffle slung across his back.
"Basement still good?" He asked and I nodded. As he passed me he ruffled my hair. "I love you kiddo."
"Love you too." I watched him walk through the kitchen and heard his boots walking heavily down the stairs and smiled. He was back and hopefully it was to stay.
* * *
I looked into my husband's bruised and battered face and had to look away. It seemed like every few months someone was beating the shit out f him and prison had upped that frequency to every few weeks. He picked up his phone and tapped on the glass. With a deep breath I picked up my phone. I was in that rare stage of frustration where I couldn't decide whether to scream or cry.
"Hey gorgeous." He gave me a facsimile of his goofy grin. What set this one apart was the fact that it didn't reach his eyes.
"What the fuck happened?" The frustration had found an outlet and that outlet was anger. His grin disappeared and he was left with that cool, still look that all Sons get when they want to shut you out. He'd never shut me out before.
"We took care of it, that's all you need to know." He spoke in quick clipped tones and it just made me angrier.
"No, I need to know why you can't see or hold your daughter, why you can't hold me. Damn it Juice, we were going to get full-contact visits. We would have been able to touch again and now this! What happened?" He face hardened further before it took on the softness he reserved for me.
"We still have enemies baby and they made their presence known. That's all I'm telling you. Fuck Milla you think I'm not pissed as fuck about this. When I heard I could touch you again it was like I got every Christmas present I'd ever wanted at once. Then we get jumped in the yard and now I can't see you outside of glass for at least a month. Lowen's working to get that reduced but I don't see that happening. Tig and Jax did some serious damage, enough to have them reconsidering our privileges in the short term and their long term privileges. I love you baby and I'd give my left nut to hold you again but…shit… things are getting tougher in here and I'd rather be alive than risk it all to touch you. I have five backs to watch in here other than my own baby, I have to think about them first. I wish you could understand that." He ran a hand over the growth where his Mohawk used to be and I felt tears slide down my face.
"You think I don't get it baby? I was raised with this shit. I know that your brothers come first and wouldn't upset that for anything. I just got my hopes up and I know it's selfish but I've been crushed over and over and over again. I think I have a right to be frustrated. You know what? Watch their backs, I want you all to come home. Even Tig." The last remark made him smile; a genuine one and he pressed a hand against the glass. I repeated the gesture as I balanced the phone between my ear and shoulder.
"I love you." He smiled wider and I smiled before I felt mine falter.
"I love you too baby. I need to tell you something and I don't know how to do it." His brow furrowed and I decided to press on. "I got a new PT Babe and proving that all deities hate me and that my world is smaller than most that PT is Carmen. My Carmen."
I didn't know what reaction I was expecting but it certainly wasn't Juice going eerily calm and still. He looked down for a second and set down the phone while he worked something out in his head. He nodded to himself and picked up the phone.
"I'm going to say this once baby. You will get another PT, you will cut off all contact with Carmen and as of now the prison clause means nothing when it comes to you, you're mine and only I'm allowed access to you. I don't know if this bitch talked herself into your panties yet and I don't wanna know but know this. If she touches you I will reconsider my thoughts on taking out women." I stared at him in shock. His voice was so cold, so serious and I knew without a doubt that he meant what he said.
"You don't trust me baby?" I asked and he shook his head.
"When it comes to her your head isn't on straight. I don't think for a second that you've done anything with her but there's the possibility. I doubt those rings on your finger or our child in the nursery matter to her. I was waiting for you to tell me. Koz told Clay about her and word came to me. I don't believe for a second that it was coincidence that brought her to you. Just do what I say baby, cut off all contact with that bitch." The last was pleading and I felt myself shaking my head.
"Nothing will happen baby, she's good at what she does, did you even notice that I'm not wearing a sling, she's _that _good baby." I pleaded with him too and his eyes were steely.
"You'll find someone better. Don't fight me on this baby. For the first time be an Old Lady, not the princess. Do what I tell you to do." I felt my stubborn petulance bubble up in my gut and fought it down. I didn't come here to fight with him.
"That goes both ways baby. I do what you say and you tell me shit. I don't hear you telling me shit." There was this little voice in my head telling me to let it go but for some reason that voice was being silenced by my stubborn streak.
"In case you didn't notice sweetheart I'm behind glass and you're just a step above an invalid. It's not like you can play the no info, no pussy card. You're on a need to know basis and right now you don't need to know but what you need to do is be my fucking Old Lady and listen to me. I don't want that bitch around you and around our daughter and I will be checking on you." He gave me a smirk and I felt my blood boil. He was bringing up shit to hurt me and while I was hurt I was angrier.
"You son of a bitch. I've always been your Old Lady. I can't believe you just said that shit to me…" I seethed and he gave an almost feral grin.
"Remember what I said baby. This conversation is over, come back when you've cooled down and actually had time to think shit through. I really do love you." He hung up his phone and motioned to the guard who took him away. I hung up the phone and sat still trying to figure out what just happened. One of the guards came over and escorted me out, they needed the window for another prisoner so I nodded dumbly and followed the guard out.
Once I got my purse and shoes I sat in the visitor's chair and waited for Koz and Tara to come out so that we could go. That meeting was an unmitigated disaster. I didn't know what I did wrong and now that it was over I wasn't that angry. Yes I still hated being ordered around but he was my Old Man and he had a logical request. He was the only one other than my mother who understood how much Carmen had meant to me. It was his right to lay claim to what was his but this was more than that. He hadn't just issued a command to me, he'd withheld information and those two things weren't like Juice. More had obviously gone down than I thought and it had colored our interaction, something had pissed him off or scared him enough that he felt the need to lay down the law with me. Unfortunately this meant that I couldn't listen to his command. Now I had to investigate. I nodded to myself and the plan was set.
Soon enough Tara and Koz came out and we were on our way to Mom's where the kids were. I had a need for both my Mother and my baby so this was perfect. I needed to hold my baby and talk to Mom about what had just gone down. If anyone would understand the webs that were being formed in my head as I dissected everything it was Mom and if anyone could shed light on the shit that went down it would be her. With that thought I turned my head and looked out the window as we continued our forty-five minute drive back to Charming. Plenty of time to work through the first layer of shit.
8. Chapter 8
**I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters are my own with the exception of Gillian who belongs to the amazing Superdani. Be sure to read her story, "The Nurse and the Son". Also, all original storylines are my own.**
**Chapter Eight**
"I do appreciate you being here Lyla I really do. It's just that I have a feeling that you're here for more than a visit." I said to Lyla as we sat in my living room. It was Tuesday so that meant that Carmen would be coming in for the physical therapy.
"Well I'm obviously here to help with Espy. You've gotten suspicious Mills." That was all the confirmation I needed.
"What's your mission?" I sat back on the couch and folded my arms on my, still too big for my liking, belly.
"Mission? I'm just here for you and the baby. That's all I swear." Lyla was a really bad liar. Mom was going to have to work with her on that one.
"Lyla…what did Mom want you to do?" She was about to protest but with the raising of an eyebrow she looked at me, defeated.
"I'm supposed to make sure that you, and I'm quoting here. "Fire the dykey bitch and make sure she makes tracks." Gemma just wants your head on straight." I took a deep breath and looked at Lyla, she was just trying to be a good little soldier, one of Ma's minions. I couldn't fault her for that.
""If I don't?" I was genuinely curious. Mom was very inventive with her punishments.
"Then I'm supposed to call her and Tara and we'll have a powwow-" I gave her a look, sensitive to any First Nations talk, "Sorry, we'll have a discussion with Carmen. We don't want her hurting you or hurting the club."
"Have any of you considered that I'm a grown woman with my own thoughts, feelings and can actually make my own decisions. Fuck! First Juice lays down the law now I've got you working as Mom's proxy and even Tara's in on it. I don't know why you aren't trusting me." I sighed and rubbed my head. Damn, the headaches were coming back.
"It's not that we don't trust you it's that you aren't looking at the big picture here. She could end up hurting the club to get to you. Talk to Gemma, she made some very good points. She said you almost left once already because of her." Of course Mom would bring that stupid act of rebellion up.
"I also didn't go through with it. Not to mention that last time I didn't have a husband that I loved more than life itself and a daughter I'd gladly lay down my life for. If I didn't leave then why the fuck would I leave now. Besides, I don't think she'll do anything stupid. Carmen's selfish, a spoiled little rich girl who got handed everything in life, but even she has to know when the deck's stacked against her." I rubbed the bridge of my nose near where a good deal of the pain was pooling.
"Are you going to fire her?" Lyla asked apprehensively and I took a deep breath.
"I've started looking for a different PT. I can only ignore so much, but when Gillian breaks her self-imposed non-com to tell me she gets a bad vibe from Carmen I have to listen. Also, my man laid down the law and the last thing I want to do is disappoint him. I love him Lyla and if booting Carmen gets us on firm footing again I'll do it." She nodded and gave me her bright smile before she went in the kitchen and got me some grapefruit juice. I was feeling a little run down so Vitamin C was welcome. After she sat down with me again and we settled into watching a movie the doorbell rang and Lyla was up and ready to go. I watched her walk to the door with a strange feeling of dread in my stomach.
"Hello, my name is Aaron Marx from the California Department of Social Services." I was on high alert. Did someone call CPS about Espy? Was the ghost of Stahl back to haunt us?
"How may I help you Mr. Marx?" Lyla asked in a voice that was calm and collected and only because I knew her as well as I did I could hear a small note of fear.
"There have been reports concerning a physically challenged adult in this household. I'm simply here to check in on the adult. I do have a police escort if you require their presence." Shit, shit, double shit fuck. What the hell was someone from APS doing here I wasn't an old woman, I wasn't mentally handicapped and, despite my injuries, I wasn't physically handicapped. Whoever had filed the report was in for a world of fucking pain.
"I'm confused, there isn't anyone physically challenged living in this house." I could just imagine her pretty little face scrunched up in confusion. I got up to go to the door. Once there I nudged Lyla aside.
"She's right; no one here is physically handicapped. There's just me with an arm injury and an unreliable ticker." I pointed to my sling and Lyla gave me a grateful smile.
"Are you, Millicent Ortiz?" He asked and I nodded. Now it was his turn to look confused.
"This doesn't seem right. According to the report you require around the clock care for a heart ailment and are relegated to your bed. It also says that you are being neglected with emotional and verbal abuse from caregivers." He shuffled his papers and I just gave him a steady look.
"Do I look like I'm confined to a bed?" I asked and he went back to his papers. "Listen I appreciate you coming to check on me and I know you can't tell who filed the report but they were mistaken, I'm as healthy as can be expected and I do receive around the clock care. My day nurse will be clocking in in about fifteen minutes and in the interim I have Lyla to help me. Feel free to check out the house. I can guarantee that I'm fine."
"Just a brief look. Officer Ryan, please come in as an escort." I nodded to them as I opened the door. Lyla had cleaned a bit when she got there so the house didn't have its usual veneer of Koz-induced chaos. They looked over the house and Mr. Marx took notes while the officer remained a quiet shadow. There was fussing coming from the monitor on the coffee table and Lyla went in to look after Espy.
"You have a baby?" The officer asked and I saw a spark of interest.
"A baby girl, she's a little over a month old. I can't lift her with my arm and my caesarian. She's a big part of the reason I have around the clock care. I need help with my baby. We're never alone and never neglected." The officer whispered something to Mr. Marx who jotted down a note. Once I showed them my bedroom with the hospital bed and medical equipment they were satisfied.
"Well Mrs. Ortiz, I'll be contacting your doctor and checking on your care situation but from what I can see you and your child receive adequate care. I do apologize for the circumstances of our meeting." He held out a hand and I shook it. Just as he and Officer Ryan turned around a bike pulled up and parked next to the nondescript sedan. When Koz got off he looked suspiciously at Mr. Marx and the officer.
He stayed off to the side as Mr. Marx made his way down the steps he took out his file and looked from Koz to his file. Then he approached Koz.
"You wouldn't happen to be Ken Kozik would you?" He asked and my stomach dropped.
"Who wants to know?" He asked and lit up a cigarette in an act of defiance.
"I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions before I leave, just a formality?" He was amiable but Koz wasn't one to work with government stooges.
"Who's asking the questions?" Koz asked as he stared down Mr. Marx who was already shaking and Koz hadn't even turned on his badass button.
"I'm Aaron Marx from the California Department of Social Services." Koz quirked an eyebrow and continued to level him with that steady gaze.
"Milla go in the house. I'll take care of this." Koz commanded and I nodded hoping it didn't look like I was afraid of him. Lyla was in the living room with Espy in one arm and the phone against her ear.
"Yeah Gem, it was scary as hell. Milla worked her magic. They're outside; I think one of the guys pulled up. Ok Milla's here." She handed me the phone and I put it to my ear.
"Are you ok baby?" Mom asked and there was genuine concern in her voice.
"I'm fine but I was wondering if you could do something for me Ma." I asked and I heard her let out a breath.
"Anything baby." I smiled, I knew she meant it.
"Have Phil hack the database and find out who filed the fucking report. I have a theory and I hope that I'm wrong but I want the proof." I rubbed my head. She couldn't be that fucking stupid, could she?
"I'll get you that fucking proof. But you already know who did it baby, we all do." I sighed and went up to Lyla. I gave her a reassuring smile before I leaned down and kissed my baby.
"I just can't believe she'd be that stupid. I'm also worried Mom, the cop got interested when he found out about Espy. What if they call CPS?" I asked and Mom growled.
"Then we fight. These kids all have the best care anyone could ever provide and if anyone tries to take my grandbabies away they'll find out just how fierce a bitch I can be." Mom got vehement and I felt some of the pressure in my chest ease.
"I needed to hear that Mom. Come over later I think Abel would love to play with grr, grr." Mom laughed at the noises Abel made when he reached for his baby cousin.
"I'll bring Tara, we could have a girl's night." She offered and I felt a smile grace my lips.
"Sounds good, too bad Chantal's out of town, she'd love this. Love you Ma." I listened for her response.
"Love you too Darlin'." She hung up and I took a deep breath before I handed the phone to Lyla and sat down. She handed me Espy and holding my baby was just what I needed.
As I sat just staring at my baby Koz came through the door angrier than I'd ever seen him. He looked ready to slam the door but one glance in my direction and he changed his mind. He simply closed the door and walked to his customary seat on the La-Z-Boy and folded his hands as he took several deep breaths. Once he was calm he looked at me.
"The bastard insinuated that I abused you and Espy. He implied that you were scared of me. Someone fucking reported us." I shook my head and felt like crying. Yeah he and I had a rough patch, he raised his voice to me but that was only once and except for that time and only a handful of others he'd always been one of my Knights in Scuffed Leather.
"It was a false report, they'll see. I'm so sorry this happened, it was my fault for letting her in my life again." A tear fell and since my hands were full I couldn't catch it and it landed on Espy's blanket.
"Don't you fucking blame yourself. I knew that bitch would do something like this. Just sit tight, I'm gonna call church, see what we can do." Koz got up, kissed my forehead and was gone again. Why couldn't things work out for us, just once?
* * *
"God I miss cooking." I sighed as I watched Mom and Lyla working on the pizza while the kids sat around the table doing homework. Ellie was in a bad mood so we let her listen to her IPod while she did her homework. She was rocking out to Gaga while she went through her math problems. I smiled thinking about how she and I were so different in so many ways. She was shy and reserved unless she was with me or other members of her family; I was always the uber-confident one ready to take on the world if it slighted me. She wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother, who was also a heart surgeon. I had to thank Tara for giving her that ambition. Juice had to work his ass off to get me to say yes to his proposal and I was content being an assistant who wrote whenever I had the chance. Finally the girl was a math whiz, already doing sixth grade problems. I hated math with a passion, English and History were my subjects. Despite this she was my Elliedoll and we were as close as any two people could be. I watched as she got this confused look on her face then she popped out an earbud and tapped my hand.
"Auntie Milla, what does she mean by "if it's not rough it isn't fun"?" I started laughing before I could stop myself. I loved that song and had to admit that the line she quoted worked wonders on Juice. Tara looked at me in challenge while Ma and Lyla leaned against the counter and watched the show.
"Umm, you know how when you fight with Kenny you guys get really mean to each other. Isn't that the best way to fight him?" She smiled and nodded before she put the earbud back in and continued her homework while I took a deep breath.
"Good one." Tara whispered as she put a hand on my forearm.
The doorbell rang and I got up, I'd been restless all day and felt like I needed to move. I looked through the peephole and sighed, it was the last person I wanted to see…ever…
"Hey Milla, sorry I didn't come earlier. One of my other patients rescheduled. Ready for your session?" Carmen asked as I opened the door. I looked behind me before I went outside and talked to her.
"No, I'm not ready for my session or for anything else with you. I should have kicked you out the first day you showed up." I was pissed the fuck off. APS was called because of her false reporting.
"Come on Milla, look at the progress you've made. It's because of them isn't it? Because of that fucking gang that's controlled your life ever since you were a baby. You know what I was going to wait until you were better, but I can't. Come with me, we can be on our way to Morocco by tonight or Dubai. Anywhere you wanna go baby." She pleaded and I backed up against the wall. Her eyes were turning crazy.
"That "gang" you're talking about happens to be my family. My husband's a Son, my father, my brother, everyone I love is associated in some way. This is why we didn't work before. You don't understand the concept of family and if you think I'm leaving them for you you're insane." I had my cell in my pocket, ready to send out my emergency tree text with one button.
"I'm not insane, you just forgot how good we are together baby. We can leave right now, get in my car and go." She tried to grab my hand and I dodged.
"What about my daughter? Did you think about her? Even if I could be persuaded to leave my husband, which will never happen, I could never leave my baby behind." She looked down for a second and seemed to be considering things.
"We'll send for her, my Dad has the best lawyer's in the world and you've got a spotless record. It would be easy to get her back, I mean her Father's a convicted felon and her Grandparent's, god the charges that have been levied against them. Just come with me now." She demanded and I shook my head.
"No, never, I will never go with you. I can't believe that I defended you for weeks and tried to tell myself that you weren't the manipulative bitch they said you were. I was wrong. If you leave now things will be easier in the long run." She looked like she was going to cry, "Go now, everyone's inside."
"I'm not leaving without you Milla. We were good together, you're the only one I've ever loved." Then she moved faster than I could comprehend and pinned me to the wall. As her mouth descended onto mine, I pressed the button on my phone, hoping that one of them would answer the call. A few seconds later the door flew open and she was pulled off of me.
"Get the fuck off my daughter!" Mom shouted as she flung Carmen to the steps then proceeded to push her off backward. "I've held my tongue for weeks, because as much as I hated to admit it, you were helping her. Now you've crossed a line. Get the fuck out of our lives and the fuck out of Charming you dykey little whore."
Mom stood with the steps framing her as Carmen fumed from below.
"I'm going to press assault charges, you'll go to prison you old biker whore. Milla will see, in time she'll see. I'll be back Milla and you'll come with me." She made a dash to her car and I sagged in the porch swing. The bad feeling in my gut from earlier intensified and Mom came to the swing and pulled me into her arms.
"She won't do shit. She's just blowing smoke. You think I'd let some little tart get the best of me?" Mom asked and I pressed my face to her shoulder and shook my head a little. "Good, no one's going to break up my family, least of all her. Let's go in, I bet the kids are missing you."
I nodded and got up while Mom kept a firm grasp on my shoulder. Something in Carmen's bravado had spooked her and she was holding on with all her might. I patted her hand with my good one and felt her relax a bit. No, no one was going to break up our family.
* * *
"Come on Ope, leave at least one piece for me." I begged as he put the last piece of the Canadian bacon/bacon/pepperoni/onion/green pepper pizza on his plate. Our girls' night had turned into an impromptu SAMCRO family night and I was glad. I felt a need for my entire family to be together and we were as whole as we were going to be with the guys in prison.
"Here." He said as he cut the piece in half and put one of the halves on my plate. It was our favorite pizza, one of many things we had in common.
"Thanks." He smiled and finished his piece off in three bites while I nibbled on my piece.
Once I finished my piece I walked into the nursery where Esperanza was sleeping. Ever since this afternoon when Carmen begged me to leave I had to be close to Esperanza. The thought of losing, of leaving my baby was a nightmare. I caressed my angel's face and heard heavy boots in the hallway. I looked over and Opie was framed in the doorway.
"How is she?" He asked as he came over and stood by me. He looked into the crib and a small smile graced his lips.
"Perfect." He smiled wider and we watched her in silence.
"I heard about what happened. Did you know they came to the garage to investigate?" Opie asked and I sighed.
"I was afraid they would. What happened?" He reached over and put an arm across my shoulders.
"We were on our best behavior, kept Chucky in the storage room. I don't want you to worry Mills, but I also don't want you out of the loop." I looked into Opie's face then leaned my head against him.
"If you want to keep me in the loop, tell me what happened with the Aryans in prison." Ope nodded and pulled me tighter.
"One of them told Jax that you're Mom was a good lay, turns out he was one of Weston's men, picked up for drugs about two days after the rumble. Jax lost it and he went after him, pulled everyone else in. Tig pulled Jax off then bit the guy's nose clean off when he wouldn't shut up about Gemma. The rest of the guys were trying to keep an ambush from happening Juice and Hap were trying to keep Clay out of the thick of things. That's all there is to it. Juice didn't want you to worry. You'd think after all the years you two have been together that he'd realize you need to know." I smiled and moved away to look over the crib again.
"Thank you Ope, I really needed to know that." He nodded and we stood in silence. The silence was rudely interrupted by the doorbell ringing. I felt myself tense and Ope pulled me to him.
"Whatever it is it's ok." He said and he led me to the living room where Mom was opening the door.
"Can I help you?" She asked snidely and the woman at the door took out a clipboard.
"My name is Amanda Ramos, I'm from Child Protective Services. I'm here to investigate a report of possible abuse and improper medical care." I didn't hear anything else as the world went dark.
* * *
**Author's Note:** If I got anything wrong about procedure I apologize. I've had family members reported to CPS before when there was nothing wrong so I understand that fear. Thank you all for reading and reviewing.
9. Chapter 9
**I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters are my own with the exception of Gillian who belongs to the amazing Superdani. Be sure to read her story, "The Nurse and the Son". Also, all original storylines are my own.**
**Chapter Nine**
I woke with a start and found myself on the couch with a painfully bad smell burning my nostrils. I looked around and saw Tara kneeling next to the couch with something in her hand and Ellie was running her fingers through my hair. Opie and Chibs were standing behind her with their arms crossed over their chests.
"It's alright Milla, you just fainted. I administered smelling salts and I'll continue to watch you for a few hours to see if there are any adverse effects." Tara gave me a concerned look and handed the, now identified, smelling salts to Kenny who ran to the trash in the corner. I sat up with Tara and Ellie's help and saw that my nightmare was real. A woman in a sensible blouse and skirt was talking quietly to Mom while a police officer looked on. The smile on his face showed that he was amused by something.
"She's awake." Tara announced and placed her hand on my forearm, offering her support in a show of solidarity.
"Thank god." Mom said and she turned to the woman from CPS. "This is why she's never alone. She and her daughter have the best care money can provide."
"Is this a common occurrence?" The woman asked and Tara answered.
"No, due to the stress of the day and your impromptu visit she had a spike in blood pressure. We'll be sure that she goes to the doctor tomorrow to have her medication adjusted but rest assured that every precaution has been taken." She was every inch the accomplished surgeon and the look on her face dared the woman to contradict her.
"You are?" The woman asked and Tara drew herself up taller.
"Dr. Tara Knowles, I'm a Pediatric Surgeon at St. Thomas and a close, personal friend to Mrs. Ortiz." She didn't need to volunteer that information but we all knew that it would go a long way in establishing credibility and halting an investigation. Also it would be better not to divulge her relationship. My older brother's babymama wasn't quite the right message we wanted to send out
"I see, thank you for your assessment Dr. Knowles. May I see the child?" My blood chilled in my veins I wanted to say no, to run but Tara squeezed my arm.
"I'll go get her. Lyla, sit with Milla." Tara commanded and Lyla did as she was told, such a good little soldier. Ellie sat on the arm of the couch and glared daggers at the woman. She was fiercely protective and this woman's mere presence rubbed her the wrong way.
A few seconds later Tara came out with Esperanza in her arms. I watched as she unwrapped the blanket from her and showed the woman that the baby was healthy and clean. She made notes on her clipboard and nodded to herself about something.
"Would you mind if I took a brief tour of the house?" She asked me but Mom answered.
"I'll show you around, Miss…" Mom was on her best behavior but she couldn't resist a little show of superiority.
"Ramos, I believe I introduced myself at the door." She answered with authority.
"Right…Follow me." Mom commanded and the officer gave me an encouraging smile before he followed behind. Tara held Espy and sat in the La-Z-Boy while the guys formed a solid wall of protection around us.
"I know the cop." Opie said quietly and I looked up quickly, "One of Unser's guys. He'll help."
Some of the weight on my chest disappeared and I felt that I could breathe a little better. I sat still and silent as Mom brought Ms. Ramos and the officer from the hallway which contained the nursery and my bedroom into the living room again. Ms. Ramos looked at everything with alert eyes and jotted down some things on her clipboard before she stopped short at the line of men blocking the kitchen. Mom gave an exasperated sigh and Chibs and Phil parted to give them room to move through. The officer nodded at Opie and gave me that same reassuring smile before he followed them. I tried to get up to follow but Lyla and Ellie both put hands on my shoulders. I sat back and watched Tara; she was glaring into the kitchen, offended by the very presence of CPS.
"Everything looks in order. The house is practically spotless; the baby is healthy and looks to be content. The log in the bedroom denoted an around the clock list of care personnel and the mother, even with medical problems of her own, is taking every precaution for the care of her child. I would still like to conduct some short interviews to tie up any loose ends and speak to her care providers. Due to the lateness of the hour I would like to conduct these interviews tomorrow. Would you be willing to offer your cooperation Mrs. Teller?" She asked and Mom nodded.
"Nothing to hide. These kids get the best care. I'll be here with my daughter tomorrow morning if you insist on this follow up." She'd probably be spending the night and I was grateful.
"Very well, I hope that you're feeling better Mrs. Ortiz. Is there any chance I could speak to your husband? I assume he's at work." Shit, I thought that Carmen would have been all over that in the report.
"He's not around; we can talk about that tomorrow." Mom was back to commanding.
"Alright, Officer Johnson we'll return in the morning." She turned and walked out the newly opened door while the officer stopped in the doorway. He gave a glance back before he spoke to us quietly,
"I'm gonna do what I can. No matter what the Sons do or don't do your kids are always taken care of. You guys are like Mama pitbulls. I'll do what I can, I have a feeling the report was malicious anyway." With that final vote of confidence he walked out and Mom shut the door and stood still for a second as she collected herself. When she turned around she was her old regal self again.
"Ok, I'm spending the night." Mom said and I nodded.
"Me too, I know how CPS can be. If they don't like a person or their lifestyle they can take things out of context and if I'm here they have to consider my relationship to you and my job." I looked at Tara, unbelievably touched by her offer.
"I'll be here, show her how the house runs and Chantal should be back tomorrow morning." Koz said in a voice that brooked no argument.
"We'll be around, on call if you need us." Opie said as Chibs nodded. Phil didn't have to say a word, he'd be watching from across the street. Mrs. Jenkins liked the "nice boy" who found her dog when it ran away so she was always willing to let him use her kitchen as a lookout spot.
"Thank you, I'm just so…god I don't know what to do." I'd been putting on a brave face since the smelling salts woke me up but now I just needed to break down so I did. I started crying and Lyla hugged me and pulled me close while Ellie wrapped her little arms around both of us.
"Don't worry baby, that's why you have us." Mom said and I looked at her while she swept her eyes over the room, our family.
* * *
The next morning I woke up at an ungodly hour, unable to shut off my mind and ultimately unable to get a good night's rest. Tara had come in to check on me and take a blood pressure reading and had tried to get me to take a mild sedative but I couldn't do that. What if they wanted me to submit a blood test? My mind was working so fast as scenario after scenario flitted across my tired and anxious brain. Eventually she forced me to drink a glass of warm milk and sat with me until I actually fell asleep. When I woke up she was gone so I quickly pulled on some sweats and a long loose t-shirt and went into Espy's room. She was sleeping soundly, my perfect little girl. I'd already come up with a plan. If they tried to take her away I'd shoot them all and head to Mexico then on to Germany to go to the Erbach Charter and beg asylum. Eventually Juice would join me. As these thoughts swirled around in my head the phone rang and spooked me so I went to the hall to get the cordless. The number on the ID was unfamiliar but I would rather answer and hang up than have the ring wake up Ma and Tara.
"This is a collect call from…Stockton Federal Penitentiary…would you like to accept the charges?" The automated voice asked and I accepted the charges knowing only one of six men would be the caller.
"Baby you there?" I heard Juice's voice and felt like crying. The last time we'd talked we'd fought and I didn't want that again.
"I'm here." I answered in a voice choked with emotion.
"What's wrong baby?" His voice was sharp and immediately I was reminded that this was my Old Man who knew me better than anyone else in the world and I had done him wrong. In the back of my mind I knew I deserved this hell.
"I should have listened to you baby, I should have been smart." I was full on crying now so hard that I barely heard his gentle coaxing voice.
"We only have half an hour baby, tell me why you're upset." Shit I forgot about the limit on his weekly call. They were only allowed one phone call a week and it had to be collect and was limited to half an hour. Usually he used it to call Lowen or Koz and get info that he didn't get when I visited.
"That stupid fucking bitch Carmen. She called APS, then she called CPS. I think the APS thing is over they conducted their interviews and found me fine but CPS should be here in a few hours. Shit, fuck baby what am I gonna do?" I needed him to hold me, to tell me we were going to be ok, I just needed him.
"First you're going to calm down baby. They aren't going to find a fucking thing. You're fine, Espy's fine and you have the best care possible. Second, and this is important baby, you're going to cooperate with everything, give them no reason to dig. I know you're scared and you lash out when you're scared but I need you to keep your head. Third, follow Gemma's lead; she knows how these investigations are done. CPS has been called on a lot of us in the past; it's a hazard of wearing the Reaper. Finally just be you. You're smart, charismatic and can wrap the hardest bastard around your pinky, just use that to your advantage. After Gemma goes all gruff and difficult they'll appreciate the sweetness you put out baby. I've seen you do it a million times. This is no different." I took several deep breaths and digested what he said. I could do it, I could do it all.
"I'm so sorry I brought this on our doorstep baby." I apologized and I heard him scoff.
"All you did was trust that stupid bitch. I hate to say this but you were just being you baby, you tend to think the best of people and forget that some people are just born bastards and this Carmen is one of them. Don't take this the wrong way baby but women are bitches, it's why you never should have been with a woman in the first place. Pussy should experiment with pussy but a relationship is taking things in a place it shouldn't go. That was your mistake now we deal with the fallout. I love you baby, love you more than is probably healthy and I know that you've learned from that mistake." How the conversation evolved to this I didn't know but I would listen to all that he had to say.
"Have you heard about the full contact visits?" I needed to hug him even if it was for a split second. I also needed to change the subject.
"It's gonna be a while baby. That's why I called. I needed to be sure we were ok and I needed you to know that it would be a while before things would go back to normal. Sounds like I had perfect timing. Once everything is worked out get a letter to Lowen, I wanna know the outcome." I rested my head against the back of the rocking chair and sighed.
"I'll make sure you know everything. I love you baby." I didn't think there was anything else to really say but he didn't have the same thoughts.
"Before I go I gotta make sure we're good baby. I know the last convo didn't go well and I wanna be sure you're still my baby. I also wanna make sure you're following my instructions." I smiled, as confident and strong as he was he needed me and he needed _us_ to be the strong unit we'd always been.
"We're good and obviously I'm cutting off everything with that bitch and as far as the prison clause goes that's always been null and void with me baby. You're it, the only one I've ever let in and will ever let in. That what you wanted to know?" I asked and rested in the chair, I was getting sleepy.
"Yeah, that's what I wanted to know. I love you baby, fucking worship you. The thought of that bitch touching you was a damn nightmare. Now I can breathe again. Our time's almost up baby. Give Espy a kiss for me and know that I love you both and I have faith that you'll get through this strong as ever." Again I could do everything he asked of me.
"I'll get through it as long as I know I have you. I love you." I spoke quietly into the phone. I'd heard some movement from upstairs and knew Mom was up. She'd been in the bed with Abel sleeping in his pack-n-play while Tara slept on the fold out in the living room so she could check on me.
"You always have me baby. The beeps have started on my end. Just remember be strong and be yourself and you'll get through this. I love you, both of my girls." He was cut off by the timer and I hung up on my end and buried my face in my hands. God why couldn't he be with me, I'd never needed him more.
* * *
"It's good to see you up and about Mrs. Ortiz. Are you feeling well? You gave us quite a scare yesterday." Ms. Ramos was being polite and professional and seemed to not have anything against us. That was a very good thing but I wouldn't fall for it.
"I'm feeling alright. A little nervous about everything. I love my daughter more than anything else in the world and you being here is a nightmare." Honesty was always the best policy.
"I'd actually be more concerned if you were calm about this Mrs. Ortiz." She actually gave me a sympathetic smile. "According to the report issued there's fear that your daughter isn't receiving appropriate medical care. However, we've talked to Ms. Neeta Tubbs who is a highly regarded caregiver in the community with over twenty years experience caring for children with special care needs, as well as adults. Also Gerard Perrier, again an excellent record in the field of Obstetric and Pediatric nursing. We haven't been able to get a hold of Gillian Smith but again her record is spotless and she has a very good reputation. The other nurses on the roster appear to have similar records. It appears to me that you do not let anyone near your daughter unless they have a spotless record. Not something an abusive and uncaring parent would do. Also, I've spoken to Dr. Knowles who has conducted several of Esperanza's post surgical checkups and even performed her surgery. According to her you and the nurses are following all instructions to the letter. Again this does not seem to fit the report. Do you have any questions?"
"Have you found anything that lends credence to the claims?" There, polite, I wasn't lashing out. Juice would be proud of me.
"I have looked into your husband's record as well as Ken Kozik's, since he is spending a great deal of time around your daughter. Both men have violent crimes on their records and that is of course a source for concern. I will be conducting an interview with an Elliot Oswald this afternoon to assess your husband's and Mr. Kozik's character. Once I have that on record I will be able to put it to rest. When I interviewed Mr. Kozik, well I can't divulge what was said or not said but I received the distinct impression that he would rather die than see harm come to you or your daughter." She made a note. "Your Mother, Mrs. Gemma Teller-Morrow, seems to think this report came from a spurned ex-partner. From the look on your face I'd say you have made the same assumption."
"Yes I have Ms. Ramos." I answered as calmly as I could, no need to lash out and she was being so reasonable.
"I feared as much when I observed your daughter's healthy appearance yesterday. Your injuries make it difficult to care for your daughter don't they?" There it was, I knew she was too reasonable.
"That's why I have around the clock care Ms. Ramos. The nurses help me with what I cannot do. Believe me, it is frustrating but I would never let my limitations and frustrations get in the way of my daughter's care." She nodded and made a note, damn I was calm and collected.
"That's what I've been hearing from everyone it seems to me like you should be receiving a Mother of the Year award not a report to CPS."She said the last quietly almost under her breath and I had to smile. "Well it appears as though our interview is complete. I will be speaking to a Ms. Lyla Page, and a Ms. Chantal Tau, also the character assessment from Mr. Oswald, once those interviews are completed and once we get a hold of Nurse Smith I'll be able to complete my investigation. Thank you for your time and I wish we could have met under other circumstances."
She reached out and shook my good hand before she packed up her files and went out the front. Once she was outside Mom and Tara came into the kitchen. Tara immediately put her fingers to my wrist and checked my pulse while Mom sat down across from me.
"Well?" She asked and I took a deep breath.
"She only has a couple more interviews to conduct, then we should be in the clear. Elliot's going to provide a character assessment of Juice and Koz." Tara let go of my wrist and lifted my head to look into my eyes. When she was nervous she slipped into doctor mode.
"You did real good baby, she didn't seem like a normal government bitch. Chantal and Lyla will do good and I know Gillian won't do anything to hurt you or Espy. I think we're going to come out of this intact and if she reports again they'll probably dismiss it with a quick trip and a check on the clipboard. I'm so proud of you baby, holding your own and keeping it together." I smiled, already glowing from Mom's praise; it was enough to keep me from going insane.
"Now we just have to take care of Carmen." I added and got a nod from both Mom and Tara, we had shit to figure out.
* * *
"I'll be in the car if you need me babe." Chantal said as I got out of the car and went up Gillian's walkway. I must have passed this house a million times growing up but I never noticed it, it was a mystery spot full of history and secrets, much like the woman residing within its walls. I almost went back to the car but steeled my resolve. I'd gotten a call from Gerard telling me that Ms. Ramos had tracked Gillian down at the hospital and that the interview was done. He'd asked her about it and she'd been as tight-lipped as usual but I know she did right by us, it was the kind of person she was. Now I needed her to be that kind of person again. Even if she didn't want to be she was widely regarded as a SAMCRO woman and we women had shit to take care of. With a deep breath I pressed her doorbell, got no indication that it was working so I knocked. I waited about three minutes and just as I was going to turn and head back down the walkway the door opened a crack.
"What are you doing here Milla?" Gillian asked and I ran my hand through my hair. Shit I was starting to fetishize it too.
"I need you to come to the clubhouse tomorrow evening at seven. Don't ask questions, you'll be told everything when you get there. I know you and I have issues but please put them aside. This is for me, for Espy and for the Club's future. If you don't come I'll know you're done with us and done with me. I'll make sure no Sons ever darken your doorstep again." Shit it hurt to get that out.
"I'll be there." She said it quickly and simply and shut the door. Ok it was much easier than expected. I turned around and walked to the car, as I got closer I gave Chantal a thumbs up and she grinned.
* * *
By the time six thirty rolled around all of SAMCRO's top women were gathered around two tables that had been put together in the clubhouse. Mom and Tara each took an end with Mom at the head. I sat at her right with Chantal at my side and Lyla sat with Gillian on her left. Phil, Ellie and Neeta had the kids in Jax's apartment so they wouldn't hear anything. We had some planning to do. The guys had a protection run for the Russians so we didn't have to worry about their interference in our planning either.
"I say you just let me shoot the bitch. She's not going to give up." Mom said as she took a drag of her cigarette and got nods from Chantal and Lyla. Lyla of course agreeing to whatever Mom said and Chantal just wanting Carmen dead.
"No, she's got too many connections and her Father's too important, she'd be missed. We need more constructive ideas, more _legal _ideas." I looked pointedly at Tara who seemed to be lost in thought.
"I have an official complaint and harassment charge already typed up I just need a notary and Milla's signature. Gillian also has a similar complaint about improper conduct and harassment. Margaret is also concerned by some of the things she's been hearing about Carmen and seeing around the hospital. We can ruin her career before it even begins but that won't be enough to get her gone." This got a chorus of nods from the table.
"Maybe we can intimidate her, use the guys. I know Opie's a good guy but he can be scary and maybe they can do something." Gillian suggested and I shook my head.
"No, this problem was caused by a bitch and it's the bitches who are going to deal with it. I'm only bringing the guys in if things get too hot to handle but I trust you all to do what's right here, to do what we need to for the Club because it's not just me she's trying to hurt here. I doubt she'd stop with Esperanza. Do you want her to call about Abel, or Ellie and Kenny or even Piper? No we need to stop this before it spirals out of control and we're all on the radar. I also promised my man I'd take care of things and I need you all to help me do that." Chantal and Lyla gave me a smile while Mom seemed to be considering everything. Chantal suddenly spoke up from my side.
"Does anyone have any dirt on her, maybe blackmail her." I shook my head.
"Blackmail won't work, she doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks of her." I said as I contemplated it while Mom stubbed out her cigarette.
"I told you nothing good would come of this shit when you started with her but you refused to listen. Look at what's happening to Milla Chanty, this is what happens when you go after other bitches. Find yourself a man before this shit happens to you." God, now was not the time for the old arguments.
"Not that easy Gemma but thanks for the advice. What's she scared of?" Chantal asked and I wracked my brain.
"Well when we were together she was claustrophobic, you don't get over that shit and she was terrified of being buried alive…" Suddenly realization dawned and we all looked at each other before we began talking at once.
"Shut up!" Mom shouted before she gave that evil lupine smile she was so good at. "I think we know what we're doing with this bitch. It's time to hammer out the details."
* * *
**Author's Note:** This plot line won't leave me alone so I wrote this up. I did a lot of research and apparently CPS conducts interviews and looks over files and if everything seems fine with no evidence of abuse they tend to leave people alone. It's only if they spot something that doesn't seem right that they'll pursue it. I was worried about it seeming too clean but then I had research to back me up but I have a feeling that we haven't seen the last of Ms. Ramos. She was actually fun to write. Thank you to all my readers and reviewers you inspire me to keep this story and others going. I really appreciate all your support.
10. Chapter 10
**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters, with the exception of Gillian, belong to me. Gillian belongs to the super amazing Superdani. She really is super **
**Chapter Ten**
"Mr. Oswald will see you now." The new assistant smiled sweetly at me and I nodded back, not the least bit pleased with my replacement.
"Thank you." I said politely and made my way into the office. As soon as I made it through the door Elliot stood up and came to greet me. With a quick kiss to the cheek he led me to the chair.
"It's so good to see you Milla, you look a million times better than the last time. How are you feeling and how is your daughter?" I smiled at the genuine concern in his voice. So man "important" people don't care for their employees but Elliot treated us like family.
"Other than CPS being called in we're doing wonderfully." He nodded and the smile on his face faltered. "Thank you for helping with that. It means so much. Ms. Ramos said you were very complimentary of Juice and Koz in particular but the group as a whole."
"I was just honest. I don't know Mr. Kozik well but Carlos was always very respectful and a genuinely decent man. The way he looked at you was enough to know that he'd do anything to keep you safe. I simply told Ms. Ramos that there was no one in the world that could take better care of your child than you and that appearances could be deceiving." I knit my eyebrows and he laughed before he continued. "I mean I told her that the Club may look dangerous and scary but the people who are part of it would die and kill for the children. I told her that Esperanza's in great hands."
"Thank you so much Elliot." My smile widened and he gave me a grin.
"Like I said, I was honest. I also told her about all that you've done for Tris, how I could never begin to repay you for that. Now, the CPS visit can't be the only reason you showed up. Let me know what you need." One of my favorite things about Elliot was the fact that he was perceptive and got to the point.
"You're always so perceptive Elliot...Ok, I need use of one of your back lots on Sunday. I was thinking the parcel of land you have near the orange orchard. The one with the barren land." I'd spent two days working through this with Mom and the girls. We knew what we needed.
"Why do you need the land?" He asked and I smiled softly.
"We're just taking care of some business Elliot. I can't tell you the details because I want you to have deniability." He got a concerned look.
"This SAMCRO?" He asked and I shook my head then thought better of it. SAMCRO was involved just not to the extent he implied.
"In a larger sense but in a more immediate sense it's for me and my family." He got this look in his eyes, he understood.
"This has something to do with CPS." It wasn't a question but I nodded anyway.
"None of this will blowback on you. We've worked out every detail and gone through all possible contingencies. All we need from you is use of the land and the use of a backhoe." I smiled at him and he took a deep breath.
"How long would you need the land?" He asked as he took a pen and pad out and started jotting something down.
"Just for a few hours on Sunday. We plan on getting this out of the way as soon as possible, so it'll go down in the early morning. Please Elliot, I know that you've already done so much for us, I just need to do this." He gave me a soft look.
"Do you have someone who could run the backhoe? I'd be willing to send one of my guys over." Yes! He was going to help.
"We have that worked out. I just thought it would be less suspicious to have Oswald equipment on land you own." He nodded before he wrote down something else on the sheet of paper.
"There will be a backhoe waiting for you on Sunday morning; I'll have them drop it off Saturday night. When you're done with whatever you're doing have the driver drive it to the utility shed on the opposite side of the orchard. I'll say I was doing some speculative digging. Never know where a vein of something will pop up." He stood and I rose with him. As I tiptoed to kiss his cheek he squeezed me and held me close. "I'd do anything for you Milla, just ask."
My brow furrowed at his tone but I chose to ignore it. I'd gotten what I came here for. Now onto step two.
* * *
"I can't believe you talked me into this." Chantal grumbled as I helped her straighten her shirt out so that her tits literally _popped_ the first couple of buttons.
"You're just the bait, Tina agreed to be the actual payoff, remember." I pleaded with my eyes and she simply sighed before she walked with me to the crematorium.
"God, just being here creeps me out." I tilted my head as I considered what she said.
"I dunno, the thought of bodies being burned to the point where they're ash is oddly comforting to me. We're all the same in the end kind of thing. I'll use that shit when we talk to Skeeter. You just bring the girls and get the doors for me." She nodded as we walked to the building but she hesitated at the doors.
"Just knock if you're nervous, remember that I'll do the talking." She went down the steps and knocked on the doors before she rushed back up as fast as her stiletto clad feet could make it and joined me. A few seconds later the doors opened and a husky man in an ash covered apron looked skeptically at us.
"I'm sorry ladies but all the bodies have been taken care of, talk to the mortician if you wanted a last look at a loved one." He didn't seem nearly as creepy and gross as the stories that circulated around the clubhouse made him out to be.
"No sir, we're actually here to see you. We have a business proposition for you." He looked from me to Chantal and when his eyes zeroed in on her breasts I knew he'd at least listen.
"Um, do I know you?" He asked as he licked his lips, the bait was working like a charm.
"You know my brother and my husband. I'm Jax Teller's sister, Milla Ortiz. I'm also married to the Son with the Mohawk and head tats." His eyes flashed up at me and he suddenly looked nervous.
"Listen I did my part months ago. My supervisor is still on my ass and has been since bodies went missing. I can't put a toe out of line." I nodded my head in mock understanding.
"Good thing we don't need bodies or use of your crematorium. Mind if we come down to speak in private?" I asked as I checked my purse, yep I still had my beretta and Chanty was armed to the teeth, he really creeped her out.
"I suppose, but I doubt I can help you." He moved out of the way and Chantal helped me down the awkward stairs. Once we were down the stairs Chantal closed one of the doors but kept the other open slightly. Better to have someone overhear part of the plan than be alone with this creep with the escape route closed off.
"Alright, Skeeter, I'll lay this out right now. I need access to a casket lowering device. I know for a fact that there are four available in this cemetery and only two will be in use this weekend. This leaves two unattended. I'll pay you generously if you make this happen." I leaned against a bench and Chantal stood with her arms at her sides in the center of the room unwilling to inadvertently touch anything
"I don't know what makes you think that I can do this for you. I'm just the cremator." He tried to play himself off as innocent ad I shook my head.
"Skeeter, Skeeter, Skeeter, you're so much more than that. I know you help rig up the caskets for memorial services, I know you handle the graveside prep as well as this job. You can't lie to me, I've done my research. In my research I also learned that you're one of three people with a key to the storage room that has the equipment we need. All we need is for you to loan us the key and you're in the clear. How does that sound?" I saw his interest piqued.
"What's the payment if I do this for you?" He was looking at Chantal; he seemed smart enough to get the drift.
"According to a reliable source money's no good for you but you've got a hardon for croweater pussy, direct quote there. This job is _very_ important to me, so important that I won't trust the payment to any croweater, no matter how small the tube she can suck a golf ball through. Do this for me and I'll get you a bona fide pornstar to work your junk, someone who Chantal here has worked with and can attest to their…skills. What do you say Skeeter, a little key worth some pornstar snatch?" I could see the wheels turning in his head.
"Since I can't have her, you got a picture of the other one?" Oh yeah, we had the key. I nodded to Chantal and she took out her phone, showing him some of the naked pics she had Tina send to her. The man was salivating. "Anything you want. I'll give you anything you want for an hour with her."
"Good, I'm amending the offer. Get us the key and find a way to put the device, a stand and the roll bars right near the entrance so our crew can get in and out. We'll grab it very early Sunday and return it long before business resumes Monday. Your key will be hanging from the door Sunday morning, we'll find a way in on Monday. It's my best guess that you losing the key wouldn't go over well with your boss. Your payment will come once every transaction is complete." I stood straight and he nodded.
"I'll do it, I'll even be around if you need help Sunday." I shook my head.
"No the less people present the better. We've got all the help we need." I went and stood next to Chantal as she took the phone away. "Give me your cellphone number. I'll have Chantal send you some pictures of your prize, just in case you want to pussy out of the deal."
He quickly told Chantal his number and her nimble fingers typed out the code as he stood going from foot to foot like a kid told he'd be getting a treat but had to wait. A few seconds later it was done and he led us out with assurances that the key would be in an envelope tucked into the outside door of the storage room when we got there on Sunday. He knew better than the renege on a promise made to someone associated with SAMCRO. Once we left Chantal practically bolted to the car but then evened her pace once we got far enough away.
"God I need to go home and take a dozen showers." I grinned at her response but then shook my head.
"No can do, you need to bring me to the clubhouse. I have a favor I need to ask Phil." She grumbled but put the car into drive and we took off.
"I'm taking a shower in the apartment then." The grin never left my face as we hurried off toward the clubhouse where a shower and the prospects awaited us.
* * *
"So, just let me get this straight. You want me to hook up these ancient radios to a private frequency, jury rig one of them to extend a distance of two miles then create a mic setup to hook up to the same frequency with the red radio as the parent port. You want this all done by tomorrow night so that we can test them out. I'm supposed to pull off this miracle while also helping set up and take down Ellie's party and build the new crib for Esperanza that's going in Gemma's place. I'm happy you have so much confidence in my abilities Milla but I'm no miracle worker." Phil said and I just smiled at him.
"Well I lightened some of your load for you. I've arranged for two old ladies to help with the party and Mary promised to be there so there's something. Also, Gillian's helping, at least that's what Lyla told me. As for the crib you can do that Monday, Mom already said it was fine as long as you do this. With the radios I just have this to say. Juice could do it; he could make them contact Mir if he wanted it. Since he's inside we need you to pick up the tech slack. You're right I have confidence in you, now it's your turn to show me it's not misplaced." Phil sighed then looked at the various wires and doo-dads I had managed to find in Juice's stash here at the clubhouse. If I had to go in his office at home I would but I hoped Phil would be able to do something with what he had.
"I think I can do something, do you think I could get a hold of Juice's microtools?" He asked and I nodded. I'd managed to retrieve them from the office before Chantal had taken me on my morning errands.
"Of course. They're in Chantal's bag, she's in the apartment but I think as long as you make your presence known she won't kill you for surprising her." He nodded quickly before he got up and practically ran to the back. While he was gone I took out my phone, there was a text from Koz
_ Heading to the clubhouse now. You there?_
I smiled before I sent my own reply.
_Here with Chantal, Espy's with Mom. How was coffee?_
I grinned; he and Gillian were starting that long, slow road to forgiveness. Right now they got coffee every once in a while and he'd resumed stalking her at the hospital but things looked good. Also, the fact that she'd agreed to be part of the plot against Carmen showed that maybe she'd be willing to patch things up between us as well. I had a plan for that but time would tell if I'd get to put it into effect. As I was waiting for his text some bikes pulled up and I felt relief. Some people needed Enya or the sound of a burbling brook to be calm. I needed a Harley's engine to soothe me. A few moments after the bikes stopped the door opened and I saw Koz followed by Opie, Chibs was still in Washington and would be until at least Saturday afternoon. He wanted to make it for Ellie's party.
"Hey kiddo." Koz greeted as he leaned over to kiss my head.
"Hey you, you never responded to my text." He smiled as he waved over a croweater who brought him a beer and me a bottle of juice. Now that I could visit the clubhouse again the guys kept the bar stocked for me.
"Well I was almost here. It went well and that's all you're getting from me for now." I nodded and smiled while he opened my grapefruit juice before he opened his brew. "What's all this shit?"
"Phil's working on a project for me. That reminds me; think I can borrow the prospects and Mike from the garage Sunday morning?" His eyebrows rose then he considered it.
"Let me talk to Ope about it. What's this about?" He asked and pounded his brew while I shook my head.
"Just taking care of some unfinished business. Don't worry nothing will blowback on the Club." He kept one eyebrow up and continued to look skeptically at me.
"Need help with whatever this is?" He picked up one of the radios and turned it over in his hand looking at it with a weirdly confused look. Koz was a lot of things but technologically inclined wasn't one of them.
"I just need the prospects and Mike." Koz sighed, I never had secrets with him but this was a bitch problem and the bitches needed to handle it.
"I still need to talk to Ope but if you need them they're yours. You will tell me about this shit though. Just give me the Cliff's Notes version." Shit, a direct order from the SaA, no way out of telling him.
"We're taking care of a problem, a big fucking problem that draws unwanted attention to the Club. It's a bitch problem and we want to keep the patched members out of it." Realization came to his eyes and he nodded before he took a long pull.
"Ok, we'll stay out but if you need us you better fucking call. Juice knew you'd do some shit like this, he had us on alert." I raised my eyebrow and he chuckled. "After he found out about CPS he sent a note through Lowen. Apparently, we're supposed to keep you out of jail."
I laughed; sometimes I forgot just how well my man knew me. Koz went on to tell me how this latest outing went and I couldn't help but smile at the look of hope in his eyes. Things were finally going well, now all I needed was for Gillian to forgive me and things would be golden. She'd been conferencing and speaking with Tara about the plan for two days but her interaction with me was at a minimum and it stung. I really missed her.
"What have we here?" Koz suddenly asked and I turned around to see a soaking wet Phil come out of the back holding the case of microtools with the magnifying head rig and a few steps behind him was Chantal with a towel drying off her hair. I knew my eyes were wide and Koz smirked.
"Um, I have the microtools. I'll get to work on this." He grabbed the stack of technological paraphernalia from the table and took off without giving us a chance to speak and Chantal merely stood continuing to dry her hair.
"What?" She asked and I turned around. How the hell was I supposed to address this? Koz looked at Chantal then to where Phil retreated to and let out a laugh that would make a hyena proud before he got up and went to Chantal kissing the top of her head.
"Nothing, sweetheart." He chuckled again before he walked up to Ope at the bar and whispered something to him, Ope laughed too and I knew it was time to leave.
"Chanty, I need to take my baby home." Chantal nodded and finished with her hair. Miles came running from somewhere in the back grinning as he took the towel, yep definitely time to leave.
* * *
"What's wrong Milla? You're really quiet." Chantal asked as we pulled out of the lot and I didn't know what to say.
"I thought you were into women?" Shit, why the fuck was now the time to channel Mom? Chantal just chuckled and gave me a smile.
"I still am, but there's just…something…about Phil. You know what happened to me when I was a kid what my "Dad" and brothers did to me. Phil's the first guy I've ever actually trusted and…well let's just say that with that trust came some benefits. Right now we're just friends who get a little something on the side but..shit Milla, you're the only other person I've trusted this much, the only other person I've wanted this much. No other man even reaches my radar. I mean I trust Koz, Ope and the rest of the boys but they're like how big brothers are supposed to be. Damn, I'm rambling, but you get the gist right?" She was gesticulating and I felt a smile creep on my face. She'd make a damn fine old lady after all.
"Yeah I get it. You're still into women, it's just that Phil's special and you're falling in love with _him _not his plumbing." She grinned; I'd gotten it in one.
"Don't tell Mama Gemma please, I'd hate to have her smirking at me all day. It's bad enough that you're gonna be grinning like a jack-o-lantern every time I'm in the room with Phil." I could feel my face split, the grinning had started.
"How long has this "little something on the side" been going on?" I asked and she smiled a sweet smile, as innocent a smile as I'd ever seen on her face.
"The night of the family dinner. I went home with Phil while you stayed at Gemma's. We were watching movies and he made this dumb joke about Transformers and he was so cute and nerdy that I had to kiss him and the kiss led to so much more. The best part about it was that he let me lead the way, he didn't push, didn't prod just let me show him what I wanted, what I needed. I've never had a guy treat me like that Milla. I wasn't Chantal the porn star…I was just Chantal and that's who he wanted. Shit, it was the best sex I've ever had and things have only gotten better." I felt tears in my eyes as she told me the story. After everything that happened to her through her life she deserved this, deserved to find love with someone who obviously worshiped the ground she walked on. She looked over and I saw tears in her eyes too. "I never thought I'd love anyone as much as I love you, but I think I could love him more."
The confession made me smile wider but also caused the tears to finally fall. I was so happy for Chantal, for Phil, for me. Hell, Juice would be in the clouds when he found out he didn't have to worry about Chantal anymore. Despite his protests and assurances I knew he still doubted her sincerity from time to time. We sat in companionable silence as we made our way to Mom's so I could collect my daughter.
"You get everything squared away?" Mom asked by way of greeting as we entered the house. I smiled when I saw Abel putting a block in Espy's bouncy chair. He really wanted his little cousin to play with him. He'd be a year old in a month and the thought almost made my breath catch. So much had happened to that little man in the year since his birth, so much had happened to our family. "Well?"
"Yeah, everything's squared away, we just need Gillian's help with the supplies." We'd agreed that since Gillian was new in town and constantly doing repairs on her own house that it wouldn't be suspicious for her to buy zip ties, duct tape, canvas bags and shovels. We just needed those necessities and the mic setup and everything would be complete.
"Good, Espy's sleeping so you can just chill out for a while, besides." Mom smirked as I sat. "Now's the time for Phase Two."
Chantal and I looked at each other as I took out my phone and brought up the text screen. I was going to be sending a very important message to a very stupid woman. You'd think she'd have some sense of self preservation and at least change her number, but no. I grinned as I typed the message.
_Need to talk. I made a terrible mistake. They're gonna take Espy away. I need to get out of the country._
Mom smirked as she read over my shoulder. We'd been having Gillian and Tara discuss the "horrible" situation around Carmen any time they could. Tara could be a really good actress and Gillian was just…Gillian. You couldn't help but trust her. Apparently Carmen had taken the bait in the hospital and now she was taking my bait. Less than 30 seconds later I got a reply.
_We can talk 2nite. Get online n IM we cn b out of the cntry 2morrow. I knew you loved me._
I cringed at the message but continued with the ploy.
_Too many eyes, come to the house Sunday morning at 5:30. It's my nurse's shift change. I'm alone for 10 minutes_
Ma smirked and kissed my forehead while we waited for the reply.
_Ill b there. Love you. Cnt w8 2 finally b a family w you_
That was it, it was done. Now we just had to get all of the little pieces together to complete the picture.
* * *
"Who's Mommy's pretty little girl?" I cooed to Espy as I helped Mom give her a bath. It still stung that I was "the help" with my own baby but as long as she stayed my baby and wasn't confiscated by the state I'd be happy to just assist.
"I never thought you'd be one of _those moms_." Ma said as she started to wash Espy's hair while I took the wash cloth and got her little feet.
"What do you mean?" I had a suspicion but waited for her to confirm it.
"Those babytalking, cooing, just annoying kind of Moms. It's cute now but you better snap out of it. She has enough of a handicap with Juice as a Daddy you don't have to lower her brain cells by doing the babytalk bullshit." Wow, that was harsh. Even for Mom.
"She's a baby, there's a natural inclination to babytalk her. What's the real problem Ma?" She was upset about something and I was a convenient target.
"The real problem is…" She sighed as she took a different washcloth and rubbed Espy's head to get a lather, "I don't want you to be one of _those_ moms. You're smart and fierce and your baby needs that, not some simpering fool."
"I rarely babytalk her Ma, I don't really like it either but come on, how can you not want to coo at the sweet little face?" I asked as I ran the washcloth over Esperanza's cheek and Mom smiled.
"Ok, once in a while you just have to, but curb that shit." I smiled and saluted Mom. As we were finishing up the bath there was a knock at the door and since Ma had her hands full it was my duty to get the door. To say I was pleased to see who was standing on the other side is a definite understatement.
"Hi Milla." Gillian said shyly as she stood on the other side, patiently waiting.
"Hi Gillian." Damn, why was I acting like a shy kid on her first date? I shouldn't have been this nervous around Gillian. I guess this was kind of how Koz felt, hell, still feels.
"Can I come in?" I nodded and opened the door wider. "Your Mom said she had Esperana for the day, I kinda missed her."
I smiled as Gillian walked into the dining room and sat down, knowing almost instinctively where it was ok to sit at Mom's table. That thing was almost as sacred as the Redwood. I joined her and looked at my hand for a second before she spoke.
"I was also hoping I'd get to see you." I looked up, surprised. She'd made no indication that she was going to ever talk to me in more than one or two syllables ever again but here she was, seeking me out. "We need to talk about some things."
"Whatever you wanna talk about." I insisted and she nodded.
"Before we get to that, where's Espy?" She asked and I smiled, that little girl already had everyone wrapped around her little finger..
"Mom's finishing up her bath, then she'll bring her out." Gillian nodded.
"Good, we can talk before they get out here." She took a deep breath before she continued. "I've talked to Koz a bit about that morning and I think I may have reacted too harshly. I'm not saying that it wasn't the wrong thing for you to do. It's just that now I know that your intentions weren't selfish. You love Koz and care about me and just wanted things to work out for us. Thank you for caring so much, really, but you went about it the wrong way."
"I get that and I'm sorry about how everything happened." She nodded and smiled lightly.
"Apology accepted. I miss you Milla, I realized that you and Espy had become a big part of my life, it's not just the Club I care about it's the two of you and over the last couple of weeks I learned that I don't just need the Club in my life, I need you and Espy too." She smiled, "Besides, if I ever work things out with Koz, I couldn't get away from you two if I tried. You're too important to him."
"You got that right, he's just as important to us." She nodded and those brown eyes shone.
"Can we start over again? A semi-clean slate?" She asked and I nodded.
"Of course, Espy could always use another Auntie." This made her grin and we chatted about everything she'd missed. Eventually Mom came from the back with my clean and freshly dressed baby, looking pleased at the scene in front of her. She nodded once in approval before she handed the baby to Gillian who cooed and just showed her love for my daughter. While she visited with us we also learned that she'd assembled all the pieces we needed and even managed to smuggle a sedative from the hospital so we'd be able to knock Carmen out when it came time to get to Phase Four of the plan. I had to grin at that revelation; things were turning out so nicely.
* * *
"Heart rate is steady and your blood pressure's good. You're in the clear." I glared at Tara as she gave me all the little tests that she needed to do to ensure that I was good. After everything with CPS and the plotting, she felt it was in my best interest to run through these tests every time we saw each other or get on the phone with my nurse or Neeta to see if they ran them. I loved Tara, I really did but this hovering was too much. I knew that she considered me family and she'd never be the touchy-feely-lovey type and this was her way to show she loved me, but it was still annoying as hell.
"I've been fine for two days Tara, you don't need to be so vigilant." I huffed and she simply gave me a shifty little smile.
"I may not need to be, but I want to be. Milla this is a stressful time and you've already undergone more trauma in the last year than most people go through in their entire lives. Be annoyed with me if you want but it won't make me care any less or do any less to take care of you." She took my wrist in her hand again. "Follow up."
I rolled my eyes as she finished up and read the chart Gerard had written up that morning which detailed how well I was healing and the recent change in Espy's routine. Now she'd be going to Ma's with Abel for a couple of hours a day so I could do some minor work for Elliot's non-profit. I was still on disability and Tribal Assistance but both organizations said that as long as I was below part-time status and working for a charity it didn't count. The charity was aimed at providing the survivors of sexual abuse with access to support and emotional assistance. There was no way I wasn't going to help with that. Mom also liked that, having me on board looked really good for SAMCROs image. We definitely needed a boost there.
"Tara, what about you? You're pregnant, got the little bambino all secure in there and you've undergone as much trauma as I have. Who's taking care of you?" Tara started putting things away and she still had that little smile on her face.
"I have Gillian watching me like a hawk and Gemma's hovering all the time. The guys are also checking up on me. I have no shortage of people looking out for me." She smiled slightly wider and sat next to me, resting her hands on her belly. "Then there's you. I know you have Gerard check on me when he's in the hospital. I know you're still on good terms with Dixie and she constantly brings me little snacks and pick-me-ups during the day. I haven't said anything because you're trying to be sneaky about it but I do appreciate it, even if I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
"I just want to be sure you're taking care of yourself. All throughout my pregnancy you made sure I was ok, even when I tried to be all stoic and suffer in silence. You made sure I took all my meds, went to every appointment and made sure I wasn't working too hard. You also took Juice's panicked calls and managed to calm him down, a remarkable feat to be sure." That made her chuckle a little. "You've done so much that I can't possibly begin to repay you. Also, you're my sister, it doesn't matter if Jax has that ring on your finger or not you are part of my family and always will be. I want you and my little niece or nephew to be alright, because I love you both."
"I'm fine, the pregnancy is progressing without incident. That feeling's mutual you know, the sister thing. I may not be the "let's all hug and share our deepest feelings" kind of person but I do love you and I love my niece which is why I want her Mommy to be around for a very long time." I smiled then I had to take a deep breath.
"I want you around for a long time too but I think your part in the plot is over. I don't want you doing anything that could put the pregnancy in jeopardy. You can stay with Ma and make sure she doesn't go crazy." She shook her head.
"No, I was in the second she brought Espy into this. Hell, if you would have told me about APS when that inquiry was going down I would've had her in a disciplinary sanction so fast her head would spin. She messed with my family Milla, our family and I can't let that slide. Besides, you need me to monitor Carmen so she doesn't die on us. That would just be awkward." I don't know if it was her tone or just what she said but I burst out laughing and she joined me for a bit. It really felt good to laugh.
* * *
"Everything's looking good." I said to Lyla as we joined Chantal at a table in the corner, overlooking everything. She grinned at the praise before she took my hand.
"Well it was easy. All Ellie wanted as a Disney Channel party and that shit's everywhere. Really, between her and Gillian the party planned itself." This time it was my turn to grin as I saw Gillian standing by the food table making sure that all the food bowls were full and the soda cooler was stocked.
"She's really all in isn't she?" I asked and Lyla nodded. Besides Tara and Ma, Lyla spent the most time with Gillian.
"Yeah, all in, we just need Koz to slap a crow on her for it to be complete." I grinned wider at the thought as Tara came over with Abel on her hip and Ma pushed Espy in the stroller that Ellie had decked out in Disney regalia. Apparently since Ellie was Auntie she wanted Espy to have a special place in the party. That meant full access any time she wanted her and her newly pimped-out ride.
"Very nice job Lyla, the kids look like they're having a good time." Tara gave her a smile and Lyla grinned wider, especially when Mom gave a slight nod.
"Thanks for the compliment but you should really be thanking Gillian, she helped Ellie plan this and I just got everything they needed and made sure the decorations went up." Mom nodded again, it was something she would've done.
As we chatted about the party Gillian gave up her spot by the food table and joined us at the table. As I looked at everyone I realized that now would be perfect to bring everyone up to speed on the plan.
"Ok, I just thought I'd let you know that Phase One through Three is complete. We have all items, bait has been taken and Phil completed work on the mic system and fitted it to the box. There's also been an oxygen tank installed thanks to Chantal's brilliant thought that maybe the target would hyperventilate and the air holes wouldn't be enough. We have the van and flatbed operational and ready to roll out at three a.m., coincidentally that's when Mike will head to the orchard and commence digging. I also received a text from the target this morning. She has her bags packed and is ready to take off. We'll apparently be buying our tickets at the airport, one less paper trail to deal with. You all still with me?" I asked already knowing the answer. Everyone else did too and just gave me a look. "Good."
Once that bit of business was out of the way we sat watching the kids at their various locations around the party. Ellie and one of her little friends from school were at the "Hannah Montana" section. Her little friend was lip-syncing to "Who Says" while Ellie took pictures with the "professional" camera Chantal had managed to snag from her work before they threw it out. Kenny, Piper and a few of the other boys were running around with wands and pointy hats from the "Wizards of Waverly Place" section, thinking of the grossest spells they could. Then there was the "Suite Life" section, they decided on "On Deck" and I laughed out loud when I saw Piney cooling his feet off in the pool while Opie just shook his head and Koz merely snickered. It was especially funny since Mary had arrived and was doing some complaining but Piney couldn't have possibly cared less. The other kids and parents were scattered around the backyard, eating and talking and just having a good time. Eventually Ellie got tired of playing photographer and wandered over to our table, being sure to liberate Espy from her stroller as soon as she got there.
"How're you liking the party babygirl?" I asked as I watched her cradling the baby she so often claimed as her own.
"I'm having fun. I just wish Uncle Juice could be here, he always had fun stuff at the parties and I miss Uncle Bobby being Elvis." I knew my smile turned sad and Ellie handed Espy over to my Mom before she walked to me and gave me a hug. "I know you miss them too."
"Yeah I do but, you know what?" She shook her head. "They would want you to have a good time, enjoy your birthday."
She smiled and nodded before she hugged me. Once she was done hugging me she went around the table and hugged everyone, even managing to get a pleased gurgle from Abel. Once she was done with the hugs she took Espy back and looked back at us.
"I don't know what you guys are doing, but I know you're up to something." We looked at her in shock. The last thing we wanted was our plan and general anxiety to ruin the party. We shared concerned looks with each other while Ellie gave a sudden grin. "But that's ok, I know you all love me and are here for me so you can go back to what you were doing. Besides, I need to show Angie what a pretty baby Espy is. She said she looked like a monkey and that's not cool."
I chuckled knowing Ellie would never let the insult stand. Espy was hers and she would do anything she could to protect her in any way she could. Once Ellie rolled away with Espy in her pimpin' little stroller, Mom turned to me and we shared a little telepathic message. We still had some work to do.
We talked more about about the plan, hammering out the details and being sure everyone knew their part. Eventually the party started getting entirely too loud and we had to cut it short but we stayed seated at the table. We were the women of SAMCRO and we were ready to defend what was ours.
* * *
**Author's Note:** Next chapter REVENGE! Nothing but revenge
11. Chapter 11
**I own nothing you recognize. Original characters, with the exception of Gillian, belong to me. Gillian belongs to the wonderful Superdani.**
**Chapter Eleven**
"Sit down, you're giving me whiplash." Mom commanded from her seat at the kitchen table but I had to ignore her. It was 5:05am and we still had twenty-five minutes to go before the plan would be set into action.
"Can't...too freaking nervous." Ma got up from her seat and banded her arms around me in a firm embrace, keeping me still but also causing my shoulder to scream in protest.
"We've planned everything out baby, down to the last detail. It's all gonna go off without a hitch. Breathe baby." She changed her hold and pulled my head to her shoulder. At times like this I wanted to look at her and ask who this sweet, calm, nurturing woman was and what she did with Gemma Teller-Morrow but that impulse was always immediately shot down by my need for the affection.
"What if she comes early? What if she figures out something's up?" I asked and my eyes went wide. Mom merely smiled and kissed my head while she rubbed my back.
"Honey, if she comes early that just means that we go to our hiding places early and she's not smart enough to figure out something's up." I chuckled at that and Ma kissed my head again. "Ok, now go in the living room and sit with Tara and Gillian. Lyla will be here soon."
I nodded and went in the living room, being sure to take steady breaths in and out. We were doing it; Carmen was going to find out that the women of SAMCRO could be even more vicious then the men. I smiled to think how proud Tig would be of me for coming up with this plan. When I got in the living room Tara and Gillian were putting medical supplies in the bag. We had my portable heart rate monitor, ready to get hooked up to Carmen's chest. The various needles with things like epinephrine, sedatives and anything else we might need that were liberated from the hospital. There was also a tiny camera that Phil had set up with a night vision lens that was going to be mounted once we got her in the burlap lined box. Now we weren't just going to have audio contact but visual as well.
"How's everything here?" I asked and Tara nodded before she gave me a small, tight lipped smile.
"Good, even with her extreme phobia she won't die on us. We have everything we could need short of a sterile OR." I smiled and let out a breath, it was what I needed to hear.
"Ok, now we wait." I sighed and sat down in the chair and watched the clock as the seconds crept by.
During the twenty or so minutes between my talk with Tara to showtime Lyla had arrived with the kids. Opie was doing some "Club business" and wanted them with Ma and since Ma loved all the kids she agreed. I watched Gillian during this time and was a little shocked at how calm she was about the whole thing. I thought she'd be nervous or freaking out about committing her first felony but she was doing better than I was. Also during that time Chantal had arrived on the back of Phil's bike and was now waiting in the kitchen with the rest of the girls, ready to pounce while Phil helped Miles with the van. Apparently the digging and prep had gone off without a hitch and Mike was waiting at the orchard for further instructions. He was most likely getting a Prospect patch for this and the man had earned it. When we said "no questions asked" he took it to heart and followed every direction to the letter. A very good habit for a prospect. I was talking to Tara about the heart monitor's battery pack when there was an excited knocking at the door…Showtime!
I got out of my seat, straightened out my shirt and made my hair messy. I already had red eyes from staying up all night so I could pull this off. Gillian gave me a thumbs up before she joined the other women in the kitchen and with one last, deep breath I walked to the door.
"Oh Milla!" Carmen exclaimed as she hugged me tight before she held me at arm's length and looked at me. "You don't look so good baby."
She hugged me again and it took everything in my power not to cringe.
"Would you be good if they were going to take your child away?" I asked, drawing from the sick churning in my gut as I thought about that exact scenario.
"Of course…well, not to worry. I have them gassing up one of Daddy's jets in Fresno. We'll be going to Dallas and that's where we'll pick up the Nanny, chef and in-house doctor. From there our first trip will be Dubai, we're taking a luxury flight. Then we'll see all that there is to offer. Once you're rested and recuperated we'll go to Madrid, I have family there and they'll be more than happy to put us up. God I've been planning this trip for years, now that dream is coming true." She took my hand and kissed it before she looked around. "Where's Espy? Shouldn't she be ready to go?"
"No, my granddaughter is sleeping peacefully in her crib." Carmen jerked up and I smiled a smile I knew was pure evil. Mom came up behind me and put her arm around my shoulders while she held the gun to Carmen. "You really are too stupid to live."
"Milla?" Her eyes were wide and I kept the smile on my face while I shook my head.
"You made a big mistake Carmen." Her eyes got wide as she saw the girls come out of the back and fought when Lyla grabbed one arm and Chantal the other.
"What mistake? I love you, that's it." She fought but Lyla and Chantal were surprisingly strong, her eyes went wider when she saw Tara and Gillian. "How is loving you a mistake?"
"Oh, honey, that's not the mistake. The mistake was messing with my family." I rested my head on Ma's shoulder while she held the gun trained and Gillian prepped the needle. "Family is everything."
Gillian plunged the needle into her arm while Tara put the sack over her head while Lyla and Chantal let her fall back into the chair. Within a matter of minutes the guys had come in and carried her out to the back while I hugged Ma and made sure the radio/video feed was operational. Now, we could have some real fun.
* * *
Once Carmen was secured we began our trip. It was silent as Tara checked Carmen's heart rate and made sure she wasn't in strain and everyone else just sat quietly with their game faces on. It sucked that Mom couldn't be here for the physical act of vengeance but it was a relief to know that she'd be with us through the radio and video hookup. No words were spoken as Chantal drove us to the location with Phil leading and Miles behind. As we pulled into the lot I grinned as I saw Mike, in the light of the work lamps, walking around the setup, occasionally putting out a hand to test the tension in a strap or the locking mechanism on the rack. Yeah, this guy had what it took for prospecting. We ground to a stop and waited for the guys to come and grab our charge. I smiled at Mike as he opened my door for me and helped me down.
"Everything's set up, the tension's done up on the lowering straps, the crank's well oiled and the hoist ropes are in place. Once the box is in the hole, it'll come out again." He gave me a smile and I nodded.
"You don't know how much I appreciate this. I'm going to have a talk with Chibs and Piney when we get back." I didn't have to say anything else, the look on his face proved that he got the gist of it. He nodded and helped me navigate my way in the still-dark morning air. I heard shuffling and a thump behind us and knew that the guys had unloaded Carmen. With Mike's help I found myself at the box and had to smirk. It was like something from a Takashi Miike film, or Tig's wet dream.
The box was a seven foot by three work of solid cedar, I wanted her to have the smell lodged in her memory forever. It was lined in a thin layer of the scratchiest burlap Gillian could find and affixed to the side there were four "asylum level" restraints to keep her locked in tightly. Also attached was an oxygen tank with enough oxygen for three hours that would be piped into the tubes we were going to affix to her nose. The mic set up was a thing of genius. Phil had managed to get mini-mics from somewhere and had them peppering the box so we could hear from every conceivable angle and the camera was affixed to the top of the box so that when it was closed we'd see everything. Instead of nails the box was going to be strapped in place with ratchet straps and duct tape. We wanted to be able to get her out quickly in case of an emergency. All in all it was a thing of beauty and it would be a shame when we'd have to have Mike torch it, we did have pictures though, it was too good not to share. Tig and Hap would certainly appreciate it. As I was admiring it Mike took my elbow and guided me away while Miles and Phil placed Carmen in the box. Once she was in there Tara, Gillian and Chantal went to work locking her in the restraints while Lyla went to the hole and took some pictures with her phone. I looked over and she smiled.
"For posterity." That made me grin wide and I watched Tara tap a needle before she put its contents into Carmen who took a sharp breath and started to wake up. It was a good thing that Gillian had already put the oxygen tubes on her nose and hooked her up to the monitor. From that moment there was a bustle of activity as the girls finished with Carmen and helped Phil and Miles get the box closed and on the lowering device. Phil clicked a button and suddenly we could hear the sound of shuffling, followed by a sound of obvious panic. Oh yes, she was awake.
"Whe- Wha- Oh god! Help! Somebody help me!" She screamed for about a solid moment before she quieted down. "Ok, I can get out of this. I can do it. Oh god."
"Hello Carmen." I said quietly into the headset Phil had equipped me with. The rest of the girls were around the monitor he'd set up in the back of the van with an external mic in case they wanted to talk.
"Milla." She said my name like she couldn't believe it was me and I guessed she couldn't.
"Yes Carmen, it's me." Suddenly she started screaming again and I had to remove the earpiece from my ear. As soon as the screams stopped I spoke again. "Oh, Carmen, Carmen, Carmen you don't wanna do that. The more you scream, the more oxygen you waste and that canister only has three hours worth…well two and a half thanks to that little outburst."
"Why are you doing this?" Her voice held an edge of panic; we couldn't let her rile herself up too much.
"I told you, you made a mistake. You went after my family and we can't let that stand. Now, you can get out of this darling. You just have to cooperate." I nodded to Chantal and she nodded back before she went to the box and slapped her hands to the top.
"What was that?" Carmen shrieked and I smiled.
"Just letting you know you're not alone. You cooperate and my friend will release you, you don't and…what was your worst fear again?" As soon as I asked the question we could hear struggling.
"If I get out of here, you're all gonna fry! I'll get my Dad's lawyers and you'll all go down. You'll be as worthless as your husband, who'll take care of your _little princess _then, huh?" I took a deep breath and nodded to Gillian who took the handle to the tension crank out of the box in the back of the van and went to the device.
"Another stupid move Carmen. Again, what was your worst fear?" As I asked it Gillian put the crank handle to the apparatus and cranked it enough to loosen the tension before she let the weight of the box take it down, as it descended about a foot Carmen screamed.
"STOP! Stop…I won't do anything just let me out of here please." She begged and Gillian pushed the button next to the crank, effectively stopping the progress.
"Good girl. We're all set to do that again if you offer any resistance and this hole goes deep…can you guess how deep Carmen." She didn't say anything, just whimpered. "What I'd like from you now is an explanation. What possessed you to do what you did? What did you think you could possibly gain from me losing my child? You have to know by now that my child means more to me than anything else."
"I-I- just wanted to h-h-hurt you." She sobbed and stuttered pitifully. "Thought your family w-w-was bad enough, to get attention. I wanted you to lose for once."
Toward the end of her explanation her voice got stronger. She was getting angry again. Good, we were just getting started.
"I get it Carmen, I do. I've had someone I thought I loved reject me and it hurt but I was mature about it. I didn't go after the people he loved. I just sucked it up and went about my life. I was thirteen at the time and more mature than you are now. Again, tell me what would you gain from me, hell from SAMCRO, getting that attention?" She had to learn that what happens to one effects all in the SAMCRO world.
"I wanted you to hurt so you'd see that I was the only one who could save you. I was ready god damn it. I had lawyers on standby ready to fight this for you. I even hired this guy who could get your marriage absolved because your man's in prison. I was going to be your savior." There it was, she did it to be my hero.
"Oh Carmen, you silly, silly bitch. You were never going to be my savior. I already have a savior in my life and he's in Stockton Federal Penitentiary biding his time until he can be in my life again. He's my old man, the love of my life and father of my children. You were never going to replace him and it was stupid to even think you could. On another note did you ever consider that it wasn't just me you were messing with, but SAMCRO? Did you ever think that my baby has the best care possible? So many holes in your plan Carmen, so damn many." I sighed, she was so spoiled that she couldn't see things beyond what would benefit her. The rest of the world didn't register.
"That thug? I've talked to people around town; he's nothing but a criminal like your Dad and your brother. When I get out of here they're all going down, all the kids will be in the system and you'll be lucky if you see your "old man" in twenty years. Fuck you and fuck SAMCRO!" I didn't even have to say anything Gillian let the box drop a bit before she stopped it so abruptly that it bounced. Carmen screamed, but we weren't done. With a jerk of my head to Chantal and Tara they nodded and each grabbed a shovel. As they shoveled dirt in the hole Carmen screamed again and resumed begging and crying in an unintelligible string of words.
"You ready to be a good girl Carmen? Ready to stop insulting my family, threatening my husband?" I asked in a voice so cold butter wouldn't have melted in my mouth.
"I'll be good." She squeaked and I nodded to Tara who went to the van and picked up the mic before she walked over to me.
"Hello Carmen." She said in a voice that was calm and collected. "Are you feeling well? Any nausea?"
"I feel sick but I can breathe." She said in a cooperative tone.
"That's good, now Carmen. I just want you to know that Milla's not alone in this, by going to CPS you put us all in danger and we can't let you do that. I know you don't like being in that box, but we need you to learn your lesson. If we let you walk out of here, what are you going to do?" Oh I loved Tara so much at this moment. Carmen wouldn't listen to me anymore. She was afraid of me now. I'd let Tara and the girls do the talking for a while, then I'd start again.
"I'll leave Charming, please Dr. Knowles, please let me out of here. You're better than this, better than that trash. I couldn't see it, couldn't see that she was a redneck piece of white trash but I bet you can doctor. Please let me out. I'll get you an appointment at Mayo or Johns Hopkins, hell Cedar-Sinai. Just let me out of here." I looked over and saw that Tara's face was white and the skin stretched tight, she was pissed the fuck off.
"Wrong answer Carmen, this "trash" is my family and I love them. If you say anything like that again I'll have Gillian drop the box a little lower, not much farther now." I was so proud of Tara I thought I would burst. "Now, tell me. What. Will. You. Do?"
"I'll leave Charming, start a new life. I'll never think about, talk about or come back to Charming!" She was getting excited; we had to calm her down.
"And Milla?" Tara asked as she rubbed my back.
"That redneck whore? Done. She can have her criminal and her half-breed baby. I never wanted the kid anyway." That revelation didn't surprise me, she hated kids. "Please let me out of here."
"We can arrange that, I just need you to promise me something Carmen." Tara said in a soothing voice that I knew was well practiced from working with hysterical parents. "Promise that you won't come back and I'll need you to put it in writing, we need documentation that you won't retaliate and call CPS again or report this to the authorities. If you do either of those things we'll just find you again and won't even bother with the set up."
"No, I won't put it in fucking writing. You'll have to take my word." Suddenly, Gillian came from her position by the crank, which Chantal took over and took the mic from Tara.
"That doesn't work for us Carmen. You're a liar and a loudmouth. I've heard the stuff you've been spreading around the hospital about the Sons and the kids. You've said the most horrible, disgusting things and for that reason alone your word is worthless. I'm prepared to help you get out of town, leave us in peace but we need the document. We need the proof." I looked at Gillian and she gave me a smile. She was so full of surprises.
"Nurse Icy? Jesus Christ, does SAMCRO have _everyone_ in this town in their pocket?" She sounded belligerent but Gillian's smile turned malicious.
"Carmen, I have zero patience for people like you and if you talk like that again, I'll lower this coffin so fast the impact will snap your neck. Your head's the only part of you that's not quite secure; imagine the force of that impact. The short version is that I will kill you. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Gillian's voice sent chills down my spine and for a moment we all just looked at her. Where was the sweet nurse? She sounded pretty Happy-esque, which was very disconcerting. "Either you agree to the document or we finish the drop, fill in the hole and call it a day."
Tara smiled tightly at her and Chantal joined us with Lyla in tow.
"I can't." She said quietly and suddenly there was a crackle in the feed.
"Jesus Christ, just drop her already, she's too dangerous to keep alive." Mom's voice came slightly scratchy but still intelligible. There was no way Phil _wasn't _getting that top rocker.
"You know we can't do that yet Ma, she's shown that she knows how to cooperate. If she ceases to do so we will have to amend that, but for now she'll remain as is." I spoke for the first time in a while and saw Carmen jerk in the video feed.
"Fine, but wrap this up Ellie and I are marinating ribs for lunch and Koz's barbecuing with Piney. We'd hate for you to miss that." I smiled and Chantal leaned over and spoke.
"Sounds good Gemma, you gonna keep some naked for me?" I loved this; it was a good way to show Carmen what she almost destroyed.
"Of course baby, we also have some coleslaw with grapes for Lyla. I want all my girls to be happy. So hurry up and take out the trash, Ellie and I are waiting and Espy misses her Mommy. We all want you to come home…all my girls." That was it, the crackling stopped and I knew Mom was done talking but would be listening and watching until the end.
"You heard that Carmen, that's what a family is. We watch out for each other, love each other and do what we can to make each others' lives easier. Now, that's what you've never had and could never understand. You almost took that from me and that will never be forgiven." I spoke quietly and suddenly felt tears rolling down my face, I couldn't talk any more but Gillian, with an annoyed look to the screen took up the mic again.
"We'll give you one more chance Carmen. You put the promise in writing and let me watch you leave and you'll get out of this mess. You fight us and we let you drop. We have a backhoe here ready to fill in the hole and are prepared to lay down a slab of concrete so you won't get out. You don't have very long to make this decision. Tick Tock." She handed the mic to Tara who looked positively evil as she spoke.
"She's right Carmen, with all your freaking out and screaming I'd say you have about fifteen minutes left on that tank. That's just about enough to hold you over as we get you out of the box. The clock is ticking Carmen and we need an answer." She smirked and we watched as Carmen warred with herself in the box.
"YES! Ok? I'll do it. I'll even make it legally binding. Please. Just let me out of here. I won't do anything; you'll be safe and free. Just promise the same for me." I made a tsking noise.
"You're in no place to make demands. We'll accept your offer but remember this. Wherever you go, whatever you do, we'll be able to find you and trust us, we will find you. There are Charters and allies all over the world and word will spread about what you did to the Mother Charter. We'll be keeping track of you but, as long as you cooperate, you'll be free. Do you agree to our terms?" I asked and I saw and heard her breathe a sigh of relief. I don't think she believed that we'd be able to keep tabs on her.
"Yes, just get me out of here. Once I'm free I'm out of your life and you don't have to worry about me ever again. I'm sorry I ever wasted time on you." I smiled; she'd be paying for that comment.
"Very well. It's done." I nodded to Gillian and she went to the crank again while Lyla hugged me, both of us almost limp with relief. "Oh one last thing Carmen."
"What?" She asked testily.
"Brace yourself." She didn't have time to reply before Gillian hit the crank and tension lever simultaneously, sending the box down the last few feet at a too fast speed. Suddenly there was a scream, and then a loud thump and Carmen went limp. We ladies all shared a smile and a hug before we nodded to the boys, who immediately went to retrieve the box, looking at us with pride. As they were retrieving the box and getting Carmen out of it I was walked to the van and forced to sit down, almost giddy with relief. Lyla gave me another hug while Chantal held my hand and we heard the rumble of motorcycles in the distance. Our boys were watching over us.
* * *
"It was the funniest goddamn thing I'd ever seen." Ma said as she dished me up a plate of ribs and the herbed, garlic potatoes that she's whipped up just for me.
"I was so nervous that she'd fight us and we'd have to kill her but damn it if Tara couldn't talk her down. I am so grateful to you sweetheart." I said as I picked up a rib and nibbled on it.
"I just did what I had to do. That bitch hurt family. Speaking of the bitch, has anyone heard from Gillian? She should have been here by now; it shouldn't have taken this long for Carmen to pack." She asked as she bounced Abel on her knee.
"She just texted me, Carmen's gone and she's on her way over, she wants us to save her some ribs." Koz said as he breezed in and deposited a fresh batch on the table and leaned down to kiss Mom's cheek before he moved around the table to do the same to mine.
"Thank God." Ma said as she got me a glass of juice. Ever since we got back we were being treated like conquering heroes. The guys went out of their way to make us feel comfortable, including Opie giving Lyla a much needed foot rub and Chibs making sure Tara didn't have to get up to do anything and even Piney went out of his way to show kindness, making a special batch of "naked" ribs just for Chantal who was allergic to the peppers in Ma's marinate. Today was turning out awesome and that awesomeness was compounded by the fact that I'd learned that, while the meetings were still restricted, I'd get to see Juice tomorrow and bring Espy. He couldn't hold his little girl but he could sure as hell see her. I smiled as I nibbled my rib…yeah things had turned out alright.
* * *
**Author's Note: **There you have it! The revenge has been doled out and Carmen's out of the picture…or is she? You'll have to keep reading to find out. If you have any questions about the apparatus I described. Just let me know. I have a cousin who works for a mortuary and he was very valuable in my research and of course Google's very informative. I hope that met your expectations and thank you for reading and reviewing.
12. Chapter 12
**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines, with the exception of Gillian, are my own. Gillian belongs to the amazing Superdani.
**
**Chapter Twelve**
"Where are you going?" I asked Koz as he practically ran out the door.
"She should have been here by now. I'm going to go find her." He looked mildly panicked and I shared a look with Mom before we laughed. Koz in love was one of the cutest things I'd ever seen and after the show at the party last night it was even cuter.
"She'll be here soon, just relax. It's not like she's a shrinking violet." Ma said and I looked down at my plate, trying hard not to giggle.
"I'll go wait outside." With that Koz walked outside and Ellie got up from her seat next to me.
"What's up baby?" I stopped her and she smiled.
"I want to see Gilly." She said before she leaned down and whispered conspiratorially, "I think he's gonna kiss her."
I shooed her away and stayed seated. If he did kiss her it would be about damn time. I'd heard about the the reconciliation and if the way they'd acted at the party was any indication, she'd not just forgiven him but she trusted him again and I was happy for them.
"Hey Mama, I think your babygirl wants you." I looked up to see Opie bringing me a squirmy Espy. I smiled at him, loving how comfortable he was getting with my baby. I loved Ope so much that I wanted my baby to love her Uncle Opie just as much and lately he was doing a lot for both of us. I didn't think I'd ever get over the shock of walking into the living room seeing him changing a dirty diaper, I think Ellie's was the last one he'd changed, but he did a good job.
"Gimme." I said and Opie gave me a big smile as he deposited my little girl into my arms. I smiled down at her, she was getting so big with her caramel skin and pronounced nose. She looked so much like her daddy that sometimes I found it hard to breathe I missed him so much.
"She's here!" Ellie practically shouted from the living room and Ma walked to stand by her. I turned around and watched as Mom quietly opened the door, ushered Ellie out and followed her. No one was spared the watchful eyes of Gemma Teller-Morrow.
Tara gave me a look when there was a giggle from outside and we laughed. It seemed like Ellie was right. We watched as Mom and Ellie came back inside with matching Cheshire cat grins and a blushing Gillian and beaming Koz came in a few moments later.
"About damn time brother!" Chibs practically shouted and none of us could hold it in any longer, about damn time indeed.
* * *
I balanced my baby in her Bjorn that the guards allowed me to use. I still wasn't strong enough to hold her in my arms but with Mom's help we'd discovered that I was strong enough to hold her in this way and between Tara and Gillian we'd found a comfortable position that would allow Juice to see her face and Phil committed it to memory as he helped me arrange her in the main visitors' area. At first the guards were skeptical but after I allowed them to scan the cloth sling and check out my other sling they were ok with it. What did they expect me to do? He was behind glass anyway.
"Right this way Mrs. Ortiz." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I was here every week, I knew the procedure but the guard was just doing his job so I deserved to show him a little respect. It's not like he put them in here, in fact the guards were part of the reason they were all still alive. Once Espy and I were seated at the partition we waited for Juice to be brought in. It had been weeks since he'd seen her and I knew he missed her. Soon there was the noise of locks being disengaged and Juice was brought in. His grin was so bright I was momentarily blinded but gave him my own grin just the same.
"God, she's beautiful." He said once I moved so he could get a good look at her. We were in a private partition with perforated glass and a guard by the door on his side.
"She's perfect. How are you baby?" I asked once he moved his eyes from her and settled them on mine.
"Better, is everything settled?" I nodded, once we got this out of the way we could really talk.
"Yeah, we just have to do some follow up but Gillian assured us it was done." He nodded and his eyes went back to Espy.
"I'd give anything to hold her." His voice sounded distant and I felt a little piece of my heart break, we both wanted the same thing but didn't know when that would happen.
"When's the disciplinary hearing baby?" The question shook him from wherever his brain had transported him to and his mouth quirked a bit. It wasn't a smile or a grimace it was just what it was.
"It's scheduled for next Wednesday. Lowen says things aren't looking hopeless. It helps that I have a shorter rap sheet." I nodded, accepting that I wouldn't get anything else from him.
"Want me to postpone the weekly until after that, to see how things go? The gen pop visits are scheduled on Saturdays so-"He cut me off by raising his hand.
"No, I don't want you in that mess; even with the deal we were given there'd be no guarantee that you'd be able to see me. Besides, there's no guarantee that the hearing will go smoothly either and I need to see you. Seeing you is the only way I'm staying as sane as I am." I smiled as I felt my eyes mist up. Seeing him was the only way I was staying sane too.
"I'm starting my new job today." I was so proud that I could actually speak even though I felt like I was choking.
"The non-profit thing?" He asked and I nodded. He liked Elliot and trusted him so as long as I took care of myself and quit if things got too much he'd bow to my judgment.
"Yeah, just a couple of hours a day. I get to sit and answer phones, just basically offer any help I can. We're setting up a hotline so I'll be busy with that. This is such a great thing baby." I smiled at him and he nodded.
"You were goin' crazy at home weren't you?" He asked and I nodded. "Only ten more months to go then I'll be running you ragged baby."
I grinned, in ten months I'd be whole again. I stared at Juice while his attention turned to Espy and just studied him. In the three months and some change that he'd been here things were starting to change. The muscles that I loved were getting more defined and the bodyfat, what little there was of it, was melting away. His hair was starting to grow even longer than it had previously been and I mourned his Mohawk. I loved that hair, it was so _Juice_, I would associate that strip of black and those bolts with him until the day I died and I knew he wasn't feeling right without them. I moved to his face and my heart hurt as I saw the bruises my brother caused by being a fool, by reacting when he should have picked his battles. I knew Opie did me a huge favor at his own expense by telling me but I was grateful that I knew what happened. As I reached his eyes, those dark brown eyes I loved so much I saw that they had moved from Espy and he was doing his own studying, once they moved from my chest, where they were trained on where my healing surgical scar was, to my face and when his eyes met mine there was a sadness there that I'd never wanted to see. He started to speak and I shook my head. We didn't need apologies, we just needed our family and the time we'd been given.
* * *
After Phil and I dropped Espy off at Mom's he brought me to work. I was now working for "Survivor's United" Elliot's non-profit organization that's purpose was to aid survivors of sexual abuse. When he asked me to be part of it, there really was nothing I could say other than yes. Far too many people I loved and cared about had been victimized and, at one point, I was almost a victim myself. I knew he was doing this so that girls like Tristen could have a safe place to go to to get the support they needed in order to move on with their lives.
"Milla, you're here." Elliot beamed as I walked through the door to the office space he'd set aside in the building he kept open off of main street. The building looked to be in the middle of some extreme remodeling and I looked back to where Phil had just walked in the door. "Oh, Phil, good to see you too."
His smile lost a bit of his luster but he walked over and placed a hand to the small of my back in a gesture that was a bit too familiar. He led me to the center of the room and had me look around. All I saw was drywall being put up with paint in cans everywhere and some loose wiring.
"Umm, Elliot, why did you want me to come in today? It looks like this place won't be ready for a couple of weeks at least." I looked over at Phil who shrugged but was eying Elliot suspiciously.
"I want you to see where your new offices are going to be. I love having you around Milla, you're amazing as an assistant but...I need someone with a more fixed schedule and a more business minded acumen. Don't be disheartened, that's part of the reason I wanted to start this organization, to give you a place you fit. I talked to Tris about it and she says that you were the best person to talk to, you never judged and were always supportive. These women and girls need someone like you to advocate for them, to offer them support and give them hope. You're going to be our spokeswoman." He grinned and my eyes widened. I had no experience running an organization.
"Elliot, I'm flattered but I don't have a business degree or a counseling certificate. All I have is an English B.A. and a Journalism minor. I don't think I can be what you want me to be." I said and his smile never faded.
"Yes you can. I've hired managers to cover the business end and counselors to handle the counseling needs but I need you to handle the walk ins, offer a shoulder and an ear. You'll be our liaison, I know you know the laws and I know you know how to work with survivors. There are some women who can't handle counselors, psychologists or even well meaning doctors but they'll work with you. You were already going to help me, now you'll just have a larger place and a higher wage. Please Milla, say you'll be here, a voice for Survivor's United." He smiled and I just nodded. I may not have been able to run a business but I could handle PR, get the community to help. I'd helped Ma arrange charity runs in the past and knew how to spread word of mouth. If he needed me to garner support for this fledgling organization I'd do it.
"I can't start full time right away." I said quietly and his grin widened, he knew he had me.
"I understand, right now I'm on the lookout for your proxy. It's good to have you on board Milla." I nodded it was good to be on board, this whole thing felt right. "Come on I'll show you where your office will be."
I started to protest but he led me away. I looked back and saw Phil following stealthily so I relaxed. I was never nervous around Elliot, but after the tight hug on Friday and the declaration that he'd do anything for me I was a little iffy about him. Soon we were in the room and I had to admit, it was nice, nice lighting, some good windows and the perfect spot for a desk.
"This is great Elliot. What color are the walls going to be?" I asked as I looked around.
"We're going with a pastel and white theme, we're hoping it will be more comforting while still looking professional. What color would you like the walls to be?" he asked as I was simply staring at the walls imagining my diploma on one wall with a picture of my family on the desk along with a tiny replica Dyna. I could really make this place my own.
"Lilac." I answered without thinking and Elliot nodded.
"Lilac with a white trim sounds about right. What kind of desk? I was thinking a light wood like pine or even a slightly darker walnut would be good." Again my mouth spoke before my brain could catch up.
"Rosewood." I was imagining a nice, shiny rosewood desk with a simple space reserved for doing paperwork and a good computer, that Juice would soup up, in the corner. Suddenly I shook myself out of my fantasy and looked at Elliot. I blushed at my presumption. This was a nonprofit organization. It was horrible and selfish of me to want something so expensive and, in the long run, frivolous. "Pine will be fine."
"A rosewood desk wouldn't break the bank Milla. Besides, I'd do anything for you. I know I told you that." There it was again. I couldn't let this go I had to address it and if I lost my job and Elliot's support in the process then that's just the way it was. I was an Old Lady, I belonged to a man so really I was doing Elliot a favor too.
"Elliot, you know I'm happily married right?" I asked him and saw some of the joy leave his eyes.
"What do you mean Milla?" He asked and I took a deep breath.
"I mean the daily flowers while I was in the hospital, the unexpected pay bumps when I was your assistant, the kisses on the cheek and too-long hugs. Now "I'd do anything for you". It all adds up to you either thinking our relationship is more than it is or wanting it to be more than it is." I took another deep breath but kept my eyes trained on his. His look turned sad and I wished I could take back everything.
"What if I did want it to be more?" He asked and my heart broke. I liked Elliot, I really did but if he wanted things with me that he could never have I'd have to nip this in the bud and go searching for another job.
"Then you want something you can never have Elliot. I love Juice, Carlos, he's been my Old Man for a long time and he's a proud daddy who loves his daughter. Yes he's part of an organization with a questionable history and yes he's in prison but that doesn't change the fact that he's mine as much as I'm his and I'd never do anything to jeopardize that. I like you Elliot, far more than our professional relationship should allow and I love your daughter dearly but nothing can come of that. You're my friend Elliot, you can't be any more than that." I felt tears in my eyes and angrily wiped them away.
"I love you Milla, I would love for you to be more to me and to Tris but I know you can't be. I know that you're devoted to your husband and that devotion... You've done so much for me with the divorce. You've been a shoulder when I needed it an ear for Tristen and you've gone out of your way to support me in this, even as your life seemed to be crumbling around you. How can I not love you?" I smiled he didn't love me. He thought he did but he didn't really. He loved what I was to him, what I did for him, not me. I wouldn't tell him that and make him feel like a fool so I took another route.
"Thank you Elliot. It means a lot to me that you care as much as you do and I'm glad that you understand why I can't be what you want me to be. I will be here for you, but at a less _personal _level. I like you Elliot, but maybe it's time for you to be a boss, give yourself that distance too." He nodded in understanding.
"In that case, I expect you here in two weeks to begin work we'll start with one, two hour shift four days a week to start, then once you have use of your arm and can handle further movement we'll up your hours and see about putting you on our insurance again. How does that sound?" He asked as he started walking me out and I couldn't help but smile.
"That sounds great Elliot...Mr. Oswald." He nodded, gave me a pained smile then escorted me to Phil who was going to drive me home. As I walked out the door I saw Elliot surveying the room with his back straight and head high. He may have been hurting but it wouldn't get in the way of him helping people. That's just the kind of guy Elliot was.
* * *
"What's that bitch doing here?" Phil asked as we pulled into the yard after collecting Espy from Ma. Sitting on my porch was Amanda Ramos, a woman I never wanted to see again. "This better not be Carmen."
He growled and I nodded, we were on the same page but I put on a smile as I got out of the car. I didn't even have to tell Phil to get Espy from the back as I walked to the porch and stared at Ms. Ramos who scrambled up as I approached.
"Hello Ms. Ramos. What brings you here this fine day?" I asked as Phil moved around her and entered the house.
"I wanted to come here and let you know personally that your case has been resolved. We checked every interview and reviewed your daughter's medical records and determined that there was no abuse or neglect. Normally I would have just gone about my business and just called you to let you know the investigation was off but something about your case bothered me." She looked at me and gave me an earnest look, "You have no idea how many times I come to houses and find children being abused, raped, burned and scarred. I can't do anything for them, they slip through the cracks. That's why it made me so angry to see a young mother who actually _cares_ about her child get a report. For the time it took me to investigate your case I could have at least tried to help two or even three children who really needed saving."
"Thank you for coming here Ms. Ramos, really, I appreciate all you did." She nodded and held out her hand.
"You're very welcome. I'll be on the lookout for your name in the files, flag you if I have to. We're required to check every report that reaches a certain level but rest assured that you'll be treated fairly." I nodded again and took her hand in my good one. Once she let go she walked around me and took a right at my driveway. Once she was out of sight I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and walked in the house where Phil had Espy in her bouncy seat. As I watched them I felt a smile stretch my face. We were free the shadow Carmen had cast over us was finally gone.
* * *
"Milla! You here babe?" Chantal shouted and woke me up from the nap I was taking.
"In the bedroom sweetheart." I shouted back and looked over to the bassinet that held a still sleeping Esperanza.
"Good you're here. I need to talk to you about something. I didn't see Gerard out front so I wasn't sure if you were here or not." She walked by Espy's bassinet and stopped for a second to coo at the baby that she loved as much as if she were her own.
"What do you need?" I asked as she sat down with me on the bed.
"Phil told me you're going to be working for Survivor's United, not just volunteering but really working." I nodded, it made sense that he told her little things like that. "I want to work for you. Imagica's going under. That refused shipment to the distributor a month ago clinched it. I told them they'd lose everything with that shipment."
"I don't think I have the power to hire anyone, besides I haven't even been officially hired yet." I said and Chantal nodded as she took my hand.
"Not officially, but we both know Elliot. He'll always find a place for you. Listen, you know what happened, you know how I survived, how I fixed the part of myself that they broke. I can help so many other girls and women. You know I can."She was pleading so I squeezed her hand.
"Hey, sweetie don't get so upset. I agree, you're the perfect person to help with those girls and I know you'd do a great job. You should talk to Elliot, give him a point by point reasoning as to why you're the right person for whatever position you're going for. He appreciates succinct and to the point reports and you're good at those." She got this considering look on her face.
"I don't know if I can tell him about it, I'm not ashamed but is it a good idea to tell your future employer that your father and brothers kept you as a sex slave from the age of four to fifteen. That you were an underage stripper and entertainment from sixteen to eighteen then a porn star." I raised my eyebrows, I knew her story well. "I just want you to put it into perspective sweetie. I don't know if telling him would be a good idea."
"Actually, honey, it's a good idea. He's a father whose daughter is a survivor. Tristen is still healing and seeing you out there proud and happy would be great. Maybe you could go to school, get a counseling degree, then you could work with these girls and their families full time. I think this job would be perfect for you. Should we call Elliot now?" I asked and she shook her head.
"I should talk to Phil about it first, see what he says. That's what Old Ladies do right? They ask their man before they do something big?" Her eyes were wide and I smiled.
"You're not an Old Lady until he's patched in but I say do whatever feels right for you. I don't tell Juice every little thing and we work out fine. Just talk to Phil if you think he can help you with decisions but you don't have to run it all by him." I patted her hand and she smiled.
"I guess you're going to teach me how to be an Old Lady." She smiled wider and I chuckled.
"I'll help when I can but it's your man's job to guide you and help you learn everything and since he's so knew you'll learn together. You picked a good man in Phil, Chanty, and I know he'll do right by you." Suddenly she started crying and hugged me tight.
"I'll always love you you know?" She kissed the top of my head. "Only I think I'll love you differently."
She let go of me and wiped her tears before she got up and went to the kitchen. I sat back on my pillows and sighed. Today had been very eventful I reaffirmed the love I shared with the only man I'd ever loved, squashed a false love and helped the woman who used to love me learn how to love someone else. As Espy started fussing in her crib I got up and looked into the face of the purest love I felt, love for my child. The perfect blend of myself and my man.
13. Chapter 13
**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters, with the exception of Gillian belong to me. Gillian belongs to the amazing Superdani.**
**This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful, amazing, stupendous Superdani who inspired me to write when I was completely unmotivated. Thank you sweetheart.**
* * *
**Author's Note: **This chapter is just wonderful, fluffy goodness to bridge the gap and fill time before the start of the new season. There will be a few more chapters but they'll be spread out and we'll see how I write with the new Season. I usually like to set the tone of my stories to match the tone of the season. Anyway, thank you as always for reading and reviewing!
* * *
**Chapter Thirteen**
"Koz, where are you going?" I asked as I blew my nose and Chantal resumed stroking my hair.
"To get my woman. Don't worry kiddo, I'll be safe and bring her home." He walked over and kissed the top of my head before he went back for the door.
"Wait!" I called out and he turned around. "At least pack a bedroll. You don't want to get to her smelling and looking like roadkill."
He grinned that cheeky grin of his and I sighed internally. He was smiling, this was good. He quickly moved through the living room and dashed into the kitchen. We could hear his boots clomping down the stairs before they quickly started back up them again. He didn't even look back as he went out the door and I breathed a deep breath. Ever since Gillian had stopped by that afternoon to say goodbye I felt like my heart was torn from my chest. What did we do to scare her off? Why didn't she want to be part of our family anymore? Her words made no sense. She said that she wasn't good enough for us that _she _was the problem. Koz was working on something with Chibs and hadn't answered his cell but when he did they rushed here like a bat out of hell. He was terrified and the anger he displayed when we'd told him about Gillian was frightening in itself. For the first time I was sure he would've hurt me if I got in his way.
"Come on everyone. Lyla made coffee and baby, you go to sleep. You need to rest up." Mom came over and kissed my head while I nodded. Today was a trying day, I needed sleep but a thought came to me.
"Phil?" I asked and the big man turned around. "Let me see that file."
He handed me the heartbreaking file he'd compiled on Gillian and I bypassed the photos of the broken and battered young woman our Gillian was and looked at the information. She was so remarkable and had survived so much. When I found what I was looking for I smiled and took my phone out of the pocket on the sling.
"Looney here." My surrogate father-in-law answered and I smiled.
"Hey Looney, it's Milla." I greeted as I sat back further on the couch with the file spread out in front of me.
"Well I'll be, how are ya girl? The arm still givin you trouble? How 'bout the baby? You really need to bring her here Desiree's itching to meet her adoptive grandbaby and you know Juicy'd want us to meet her." I smiled, I would've loved for them to meet her too.
"I can't really travel Looney. I'm still recovering but I called you for a reason. Koz'll be coming through and he's on a mission. I need you to help him find Oak Hills." I set the file back on the coffee table as I waited for his reply.
"You want this help under the table right. Just guide him without telling him." I bit my lip to keep from laughing, there was a reason he was President.
"Please, I know I'm just an Old Lady, no real pull but-" I didn't get to finish before he cut me off.
"Don't go sayin you're _just_ anything darlin. Your our girl, even moreso since you married that boy. What you're askin is such a small thing I'd be happy to keep Koz on the right path. Who knows, he may have a convoy on the way back. Desi's not the only one who wants to see that baby." With that Looney hung up and I smiled. Koz would get to Gillian without a hitch and a brief check showed that Portland was still a hundred percent with us. Now I could sleep.
* * *
"Koz! I asked if you could hand me the paper." I sighed as Koz smiled that damn smile and handed me the paper that I handed to Ellie who grinned. Koz had been like this for a week ever since he returned from Oregon with Gillian on the back of his bike. Something big had happened and they weren't just back to good they were official and it would just be a matter of time before she got his crow.
"What are you girls doing?" He asked as he watched us working with the paper.
"Mommy's birthday." Ellie continued working on her paper as her grin was replaced by a look of determination.
"We're making cards that we're going to attach to balloons. Send them up to heaven." I said and Ellie just nodded while Koz turned to us and put down his beer.
"Can anyone get in on this?" He asked and I smiled while Ellie looked up from her work and handed him a few markers.
"Make it nice but no glitter, Mommy hated glitter." He saluted Ellie and the three of us got to work.
I finished my simple card and watched Ellie add a new page to her card. I'd have to give Lyla a huge hug for this, it was her idea and Ellie just ran with it and included me in everything. Once we were done I was going to lock the cards in my rolltop...to keep them safe until we went to say goodbye. After I'd walked Ellie across the street back to her house while Koz stayed with Espy I went home with the intention of making Koz help me with arm exercises. He was in a good mood so I'd take advantage of it. What I didn't expect was him thrusting the phone at me as soon as I got through the door.
"It's Lowen." Was all he said before he draped a cloth over his shoulder and positioned Espy for maximum burping.
"Hello Counselor." I kept the tremor out of my voice and was grateful. Today was the disciplinary hearing and when I'd seen Juice on Monday he'd been nervous as hell but tried to hide it. I knew him far too well for his act to work on me.
"Hello Milla. I have some very good news for you." I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding and sat down.
"What's happening?" I asked as I tried to stop my hands from shaking.
"The disciplinary board decided that your husband is not a violent individual or a risk to himself or others. Barring any further offenses he'll be released on schedule. They also feel that he would benefit from having access to his family. From what was said he's apparently very calm and mellow after a visit from you and your daughter. Now it will take two weeks to process the paperwork but once it is you will be allowed contact visits with your husband." I had tears in my eyes, I didn't think I could be so happy.
"Thank you so much Counselor I don't-" I was stopped when she laughed on her end.
"Don't thank me, Juice was perfect. I didn't have to say a word he pleaded his case very well. You have a lovely day and we'll make sure that in two weeks time you get to see your husband again, without glass." We said our goodbyes and I grinned while Koz joined me on the couch. I leaned over and kissed my baby girl before I moved my face close to hers.
"We're going to see Daddy, Peanut, and he's gonna hold you." I kissed her again before I moved away and Koz smiled.
"It's about time something good happened." He said as he set Espy in her bouncy chair and threw an arm around me. "Everyone should be as happy as me."
I laughed and hit his shoulder but I was still grinning from ear to ear. In two weeks I'd get to touch my husband again. Nothing could be better.
* * *
I swear time had never gone slower than in the two weeks it took for the paperwork to process. The only way time seemed to go faster than a snail's pace was when I was at work or with the kids. There's something about kids running everywhere that makes time speed up. I spent so much time with Ellie, Kenny and Piper that there was a suggestion circling around town that I'd adopted them. There was a time when I really wanted to adopt Ellie and Kenny but I wisely maintained my faith in Opie and let him come back to himself. Besides it was trying enough with an infant and an overgrown kid in the house. Especially when that overgrown kid was very happily in love and inadvertently rubbing everyone's faces in it. I didn't think I'd ever get over the shock of walking in the kitchen one morning with Gillian in one of Koz's SAMCRO shirts and boxers making coffee. I was still caught up in the "Gillian's too good for us" mentality, despite what I knew she did... Well Gillian was family now and that meant that she had to go through the fire like everyone did and Ma wasn't against making her clean up after a Friday night party or make snacks for the guys and she did it all with a smile. Now her duty was to take me and Espy to the prison so I could see my man without glass and without guards preventing us from touching.
"Are you sure this is ok?" She asked for the dozenth time.
"Yes, it's perfectly fine. Lowen called the prison and Mrs. Murphy faxed your credentials so they know you're my personal care attendant, so that means you can visit and Juice put you on his approved visitor's list so you're golden." I stared at the road for a few seconds. "Can we get there any faster?"
Gillian chuckled and sped up a little, everything was going perfectly.
"Right this way Mrs. Ortiz, Ms. Smith." The guard directed us to a place I was unfamiliar with. It was a large room, much larger than the rooms we'd been meeting them in before with what looked like metal picnic tables and guards lining the walls. We were directed to a central table where Gillian sat across from me and took Esperanza out of her carrier. We waited for about ten minutes as I drummed my fingers against my knee and watched the door. Soon there was the sound of the "lock disengaged" warning and I saw Juice walk through, practically bouncing. I stood and his eyes were on me as he walked with purpose.
"Hey." I said quietly and he didn't say a word as he took my face in his hands and brought his lips to mine I moaned and reached my good hand up to trace his face as his tongue lightly traced my lower lip. I was lost in the kiss and the smell of him when we were violently ripped from this small slice of heaven.
"Hey, stop that!" Juice broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine before he ducked in for a little kiss.
"You have no idea, baby, no idea." I smiled, I had an idea. He kissed me one more time before he moved away from me and took my hand. "Hey is-"
He didn't get to finish his question before Gillian walked over, still carrying Espy.
"Someone wants to see her Daddy." She said as Juice removed his hand from mine and took his daughter into his arms.
"Juice this is Gillian. Gillian this is my husband Jean Carlos Ortiz...Juice." She smiled and nodded. The warning about limited contact ringing in all our ears.
"So you're Gillian. Damn, Koz has good taste. Thank you for everything, for being with my family when I couldn't. There's no way I could repay you for that." He said sincerely and Gillian remained smiling.
"They're my family too so there's no need to thank me Mr. Ortiz. I'm going to go talk to the guard about my bag. I'll be back. It's so great to meet you Mr. Ortiz." Gillian smiled wider and Juice looked at her with this adorable scrunched, up squinty face. He was a bit put out by being respected like that.
"It's just Juice." He still scrunched his face and Gillian went to talk about the items that had been confiscated from her bag. I'd told her that they'd be returned as we left the visitor's area but she just didn't seem to believe me.
"Baby, It's so good to see you." We sat together on one side of the table and I reached my hand over and ran my fingers through his short hair. It didn't matter how short it was, anything other than the 'hawk felt wrong. "When was the last time you shaved?"
"What you don't like the 'stache?" He asked as he ran his fingertip over Espy's cheek and he smiled.
"It makes you look like some sleazy telenovella villain or a used car salesman. It's not your look baby." I ran my fingertips along his jaw and he turned his head to place a kiss on my moving hand.
"I think it would feel good on your thighs." He whispered and my breath caught, yeah it and the bit of scruff would feel great.
"Watch what you say baby, we can't take care of it and you're holding our angel. It's creepy." He chuckled and looked down at Espy.
"Sorry baby girl, Daddy's just really happy your Mama's here and he missed you both so much." He leaned down and kissed her.
"I think she forgives you Daddy." He smiled and maneuvered so he could continue holding her and reached out his hand to give mine a quick squeeze.
"How are things going? The job, the kids? I wanna know it all baby." He smiled that smile and for the first time in months there wasn't the shadow behind his eyes.
"The job's great, we're just getting started so I'm mainly helping Elliot hire employees and just getting the office set up. As far as the family goes everything's fine and last week Ellie, Kenny, Opie and I sent cards on balloons to Donna since it would've been her birthday. I think Ellie's finally starting to work through the pain and Kenny's working through it in his own way too. The only thing that's not perfect is me baby. I miss you so much." I just looked at him and hia hand reached across again and he carressed my hair.
"I miss you too but stay strong. Now I can kiss you again, I can hold you again, even for a few seconds. That makes this worth it baby. I'm gonna keep my nose clean and try to stay out of shit, especially shit that a certain brother starts. I can't lose you baby and I can't lose this." He took my hand and kissed it before he gave my fingers a squeeze and released them.
"They'll give back my stuff before we go, you were right." I looked up, surprised that I didn't even hear Gillian approach, I was so wrapped up in my man.
"Sit with us. Tell me about yourself." I smiled at Juice's invitation. He knew how important she was to me and to the Club so he wanted to know her and I appreciated it.
Gillian smiled wide and told him the cliff's notes version of who she was and her relationship to the Club and me. Juice in turn told her a bit about himself but focused on his life with me. I felt tears in my eyes as he thanked her again for protecting the most important people in his life. All too soon the visit was over and he handed Espy off to Gillian before he took my face in his hands again and kissed me for all we were worth. I ran my hand over his new bit of hair one last time and he grinned before he was led away. I watched him walk through the doors and turned to see Gillian with Espy, she'd already packed her up. With one last smile I nodded and we nodded to a guard who led us out and after Gillian retrieved her things we went outside only to see Koz leaning against his bike.
"There are my girls!" He said excitedly as we crossed the lot to him and Gillian greeted him with a kiss before he reached over and hugged me. "You look happy kiddo."
"I am, what are you doing here?" I asked and he leaned down to kiss Gillian again before he tapped my nose.
"I'm taking my girls out to lunch then who knows? I just want to spend the day with all of you." I smiled wide and leaned up to kiss his cheek before he gave Gillian one last kiss and we were soon on our way. Today was turning into the best day I'd had in months and I'd have to thank my family for that.
14. Chapter 14
**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own with the exception of Gillian. She belongs to the wonderful and amazing Superdani who I need to apologize to. Sometimes I get so into updating that I forget important things. I'm so so sorry.
**
**Warning: Some slight spoilers for season 4.**
**Chapter Fourteen**
"Dr. Morris says that it's a good idea." I argued as my Mom pursed her lips.
"It doesn't feel right baby. You've only been doing his work for five months now. Not long enough." She shook her head and clutched the keys I desperately wanted in her hand.
"Look Ma, I know you worry about me but Dr. Morris said my arm's strong enough and it won't be far, just down the road and back. No more than a mile." Mom looked torn and clutched the keys tighter while I pleaded. God I felt like I was sixteen again, begging like this.
"You'll just go to the store? No side trips?" I smiled, with Jax in prison she had to coddle someone.
"Just to the store." She nodded and handed over the keys and it felt like the "Hallelujah Chorus" should be starting anytime. With a kiss to her cheek I went out the door and smiled as I saw my car. I'd have to adjust the seat since the amazon had been driving it a lot but that was fine, at least it wasn't sitting around unused and Chantal liked it better than her own outdated hunk of metal.
"Miss me baby?" I whispered as I got in the seat and adjusted everything from the seat to the mirrors. I sighed in near orgasmic bliss as I pulled out of the driveway and made my way toward the store. I was on an errand for Tara who was still sore and tired from adjusting to life with a toddler and a newborn. All she wanted was some almond milk and Cheerios, two things I didn't have since I only had real milk in my house and Cheerios never lasted long.
As I drove down the road I noticed a police vehicle following me. As I slowed and moved toward the shoulder to let them pass their lights started flashing and the siren was going off. I dutifully pulled over, expecting them to rush past but instead it pulled up behind me and a tall, bald black man got out. He was one of the new officers from San Joaquin. I calmly sat with my hands sill on the wheel after I'd rolled down the window and set my license and registration on my lap. I didn't know why I'd been pulled over but I wanted to be prepared.
"License and registration Ma'am." The officer requested and I handed them over.
"What seems to be the problem officer?" I asked politely and waited for the officer to answer.
"I noticed your tabs are expired and one of your tail lights is a little dim. I'd think with your family owning a garage you'd get that taken care of." I got a good look at the uniform and realized that this must be the new Sheriff we were informed of.
"I'll have it taken care of right away...Sheriff." I kept my hands on the wheel and studied the Sheriff. He was, as of now, a mystery to me and probably to the guys. He so new that they would either tell us to be wary of him or get him on the payroll.
"You should, I'd hate to bring you in...leave that little baby alone." I looked at him and suppressed my glare. He obviously knew who I was and who I was affiliated with He didn't know how we handled people who threatened our children.
"Like I said, I'll get it all taken care of. Am I free to go sir or am I getting a citation?" I asked reasonably and he gave me a smile.
"Just a warning Mrs. Ortiz. Be sure to get those problems fixed. I really would hate to bring you in. From what I hear around town you have enough to deal with." He gave me a Cheshire Cat grin before he handed me back my license and registration. "Have a nice day."
He nodded his head slightly before he walked back to his squad car and pulled out. Once he was gone I put everything away, situated myself again and pulled out. He may have just given me a warning, but I had a feeling that he was just getting started and would be messing with me again in the future. Men like that are too easy to read.
* * *
"Ok Koz, no problem. I really have no idea why you're so worried about this. We love Gillian and I swear that sometimes Espy likes her better than me. She'd be a welcome addition to the household for the night. Ok. Love ya bro." I sighed as I hung up. Koz and Gillian may have been a couple for four months now but their desire for each other and obvious passion hadn't diminished in the least. If anything they had gotten more passionate as they explored new territory together and found a life together that fit both worlds. I was very happy for them and wanted them to stay as happy and in love as they were but I was getting fed up with Koz's crazily over protective instincts which had gotten even crazier since Gillian became his. I shuddered to think how bad it would get once she got his crow.
After I hung up I had to smile at the situation. A "strange car" had been driving on Gillian's block so Koz was going to check it out while Gillian spent the night with us. Once everything was sorted out she'd be free to return home and we wouldn't have to hear of this again, until the next "threat" popped up. I quietly went into Espy's room to check on her and wrinkled my nose at the smell of "baby" that permeated the room. We were using this new lotion that Tara recommended to combat the dry skin that plagued my poor babygirl. Once Juice got out I'd have to smack him for passing his horrible dry skin onto our baby. Even so the lotion was working nicely, but we still had her dry and brittle hair to contend with. Once I gave my baby one last kiss I walked down the hallway and stopped in the doorway, watching the scene in front of me. Gillian was sitting on the couch and spread out on the coffee table in front of her was my wedding album and the pictures I'd tucked in outside of the sleeves. She had her back to me but I could see her lovingly running her hands over some of the pictures and smiled softly as she picked up the picture of me with Koz, his arm firmly around me and a grin plastered on his face. That was one of my favorite pictures, we both looked so proud and happy.
"I can make you a copy of that if you want." I said as I walked into the room and instantly felt bad when she practically jumped out of her skin. Usually Gillian was like a an animal, she could sense if someone was watching her or approaching her. I guessed that it came with being prey for so long.
"Sorry, I just saw this on the shelf over there and decided to take a look. You don't mind, do you?" She asked as she turned around and I shook my head.
"I don't mind at all. What do you think? At the time I thought I'd gotten so fat, I was mortified, but Juice kept looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. He always looks at me like that." I picked up one of the pictures of him kissing me and felt my smile turn sad. Sometimes I missed him so much I couldn't breathe. "Sorry, I'm just missing him right now."
I tried to turn the smile happy again and Gillian smiled warmly at me. I knew she worried that she was rubbing my face in the fact that she had her man with her, but I never felt like she was. I just wanted her and Koz to be as happy as they could be. At least one couple needed to be and as often as Ope and Lyla were fighting lately, they weren't the happy ones.
"Do you mind if I ask you something?" She asked and I chuckled a little.
"Not at all, you know you can talk to me about anything." I put the picture back and sat waiting for her to continue.
"I was looking at these pictures and I was just wondering, what made you decide on this? According to Gemma you didn't want to get married. What made you say yes?" She asked as she picked up a picture of Juice and I with our large extended family, in front of the Reaper.
I smiled as I thought about it. It seemed like a lifetime ago when it was only just under a year.
"We were together a long time before we got married, three years. Juice said he wanted to take me to a Justice of the Peace the night of his Patch party, that night he knew I was his and nothing would change it, but he waited to propose until he'd decided that we'd spent enough time learning each other. I kept putting it off and putting it off. I knew I was his and once I got the crow everyone else did too. I didn't want civilian rules to dictate how I loved my man. Unfortunately, I was hurting my man, I made him feel like I didn't really want him. Even after he bought me the perfect ring I was still hung up on proving a point." I looked down at my engagement ring, that rested so perfectly with my wedding band, and smiled. It was perfect, just like the man that gave it to me. "Eventually I realized I was hurting him and some serious shit happened with SAMCRO that made me realize that I didn't give a damn about what the civilians thought I wanted my man to own me in every way and have a claim to him too. So I said yes, and after another tragedy I couldn't wait any longer so we got married in the clubhouse and my only regret is that Bobby and Opie couldn't be there."
I looked up from the picture my eyes had landed on and saw Gillian smiling even wider at me. I felt my face heat up a bit. She probably didn't need such an in depth explanation but sometimes when I get started the words won't stop. it was one of the things I had in common with my man.
"What I'm trying to say is that when the time is right you know. You won't wanna fight it anymore. Something got you thinking about it?" She looked at my ring finger, then looked up at me, blushing when she saw the knowing look in my eye.
"Oh no, Koz and I are happy as we are. Just being together is enough. It sounded like you and Juice were the same way. I was just wondering what happened to change that." She slaughed a little and I started thinking about what she just told me. They were happy as they were and I was glad of that, but I knew Koz. Now that he'd found the woman it would only be a matter of time before he'd want the family but he'd sabotage himself by taking too long and thinking too hard about the things that _could _happen. I couldn't let him do that. I had to save Koz from himself and it hit me. I knew the perfect way to save him. With a smile to Gillian I got up and went to my kitchen. I had the beginning of a plan, I just had to fine tune it.
…
Later that night Koz had come home from his stakeout and, after a kiss to Gillian and a game of "peek" with Espy, he discovered that he was almost out of beer. As he was heading out I stopped him, it was time to set my new plan into action.
"Koz can you pick me up a couple of things?" I asked before he made it out the door.
"Sure Kiddo, everything ok?" I smiled, Koz was always so good to me.
"I'm fine I just need a copy of "Modern Bride" and some rice. I'm doing something with Ellie and I'm planning on making that rice pudding you like tomorrow and I'd rather have the ingredients on hand."I smiled sweetly at him and he just grinned before he ruffled my hair.
"Good thing I love you kid." He kissed my forehead before he went out the door and I turned my smile to Gillian. The seeds had been sown, now we just had to see if anything took root.
* * *
"Ma, what are we doing here?" I looked up at the sign and sighed. We were at the new facility Wendy had been placed in and I was nervous. It was never good when Ma left whoever she was working with in the dark, it's how she ended up getting pinned for the death of an IRA rat. With another sigh I got out of the car and stood by Ma as she smiled. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, that smile was never good.
"Come on baby, it's time to right some wrongs." Damn it, it was never good when Ma got all "superhero". Regardless I grudgingly walked with Mom and stood with her at the front desk.
"We're here to see Wendy Case, her caseworker said today would be a good day to visit?" Mom was acting all polite, not good.
"Gemma Teller and Milla Ortiz?" The woman behind the desk asked and I was shocked, whatever this was Ma had planned ahead.
"That's us." Mom put her arm around my shoulder and I looked quizzically at her, trying to decide who this woman was and where she hid my Mom's body.
"Wait here, Once Ms. Case is in the visitation room I'll be right back for you." Mom Nodded and I turned to look at her again.
"What's happening here Ma? This June Cleaver act is scary as fuck." Mom grinned and pulled me away from the desk.
"If I came in here waving my piece, how do you think that'd go over? Sometimes bein' nice is the only way to get what you really want." She just took a page from my playbook so I simply nodded, I could wait and see how long this lasted. A few seconds later she grinned and turned me to face the woman from the desk.
"She's ready. I must ask to see your bags before we go in." I handed my bag over and she rifled through it, nodding when there was no contraband present. She did the same to Mom's and I was shocked that she'd passed the inspection too. Whatever reason we were here had to be an important one. The woman nodded and we were led into a nice big room with bright sun pouring in through the large windows and women in scrubs standing like guards while other women were sitting at tables. It was like jail as seen on Oxygen.
"Gemma...Milla, Corinne told me you'd be visiting. Despite me telling her that you two were two of my biggest stressers." I looked at her and was pleased to see that she didn't have any of the symptoms that she was using again. I knew Wendy, she could talk her way into getting pretty much anything from people. Even contraband in a recovery facility.
"Did we stress you the last time you shot up?"Mom asked and Wendy looked at the table, not wanting to be reminded of her fuck up.
"In a way. You gave me hope, then it was crushed. So yeah, you're to blame for the shit I'm in now." Mom smiled and I rubbed my forehead. "What do you two want?"
I looked at Ma, I had no idea why we were here and I wanted to know as much as Wendy did.
"We're here to make sure something good happens. You know Abel turned a year old a few months ago right?" Mom asked and Wendy swallowed before she answered.
"Yeah, I get pictures every once in a while. Don't know who sends them." She looked like she was ready to cry and I couldn't force myself to feel sympathy for the woman, any pain she felt she brought on herself.
"I do, Abel's _real _mother sends them. A woman too damn good to be mixed up with the likes of you. A woman too good to admit you're the trash you are. She's done you a world of favors. It's time you paid up." I looked at Mom and smiled, I knew what she was doing.
"Pay up how, I'm stuck in this place." She huffed and I sat back in my seat, simply enjoying what was happening.
"Tomorrow a lawyer is comin' to see ya. She's goin to have a stack of papers for you to sign. Sign all of them. You do that and you just might breathe free air again. If not...we'll just see what happens." Mom sat back and I looked at Wendy, her mind appeared to be racing.
"You want me to give up Abel don't you?" She asked and I scoffed.
"Giving up implies that you gave a damn in the first place. Just sign the papers and do the first unselfish thing you've ever done in your life. Give Abel a real family with a Mom and Dad that love him and love each other, a little brother he already adores. Do that for him and earn the right to call yourself a person." I put everything into that little speech and Wendy just nodded.
"I'll do it. I'll sign everything. He was the only good thing in my life ya know. The only thing I did right and even then I fucked up. You're right, he deserves a real family." She sighed and looked down. "Can you two please go now? I need time to think."
Mom nodded to me and stood up. I followed suit and went for the door but stopped to watch Ma who hadn't moved from Wendy's table.
"You're doin a good thing, the right thing. Feel good about that. Thanks to you your boy will actually have a chance." Ma turned on her heel and collected me. linking her arm with mine as we walked through the door. Once we were in the car and settled I turned to mom.
"That was a good thing you did Ma. I'm glad I was there." She smiled at me as she lit up.
"I'm glad you were there too, the bitch always seemed to listen to you." I smiled and Ma started the car. "Where we off to now?"
"Umm, if I remember right you're running low on your stash so I thought we'd hit up that new dispensary, Clear Passages. For some reason they sent me a couple of vouchers for some free shit, don't know why but who am I to turn down free weed? I also thought you could stock up, throw a little my way when I'm done breastfeeding." I handed a voucher to Mom who smiled as she read.
"Hope they have good shit." Mom pulled out and we were on our way. I looked at the voucher and felt my nose wrinkle. They did colonics too. Maybe I could convince Mom to get one and figure out what's been up her ass all these years. With that thought I burst into giggles and couldn't seem to stop.
* * *
**Author's Note: ** We're almost at the end of _Down the Road_. Only one more chapter to go. I know these last couple of chapters may seem boring but they're my way of tying up loose ends and laying the groundwork for my next story which is already being written. I hope you've liked the story so far since I've loved writing it. Thank you all for reading and reviewing!
15. Chapter 15
**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters are my own, with the exception of Gillian who belongs to the wonderful, amazing Superdani. Thank you so much for everything sweetheart!**
**Warning: Slight spoilers for season 4.**
**Chapter Fifteen**
"I'll be back in six hours. You be good for Gramma." I said as I kissed my baby girl's cheek while Mom smiled.
"She's always good. Don't know how she came from you and the posterchild for ADD." I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but laugh. She did have a point.
"I have to go, take care Ma." I kissed my mom's cheek then went out the door. I had to pick up Chantal at Phil's then we were heading in. Elliot had told us to arrive early and I was curious as to why he wanted us so early.
I drove to Phil's and found Chantal sitting on the stoop of the building in her nice slacks and button-down blouse and had to smile. If given the chance she doesn't dress like the porn star she used to be. Except for her shoes, the girl stumbles in anything other than heels.
"Thank god you got the message. I've been locked outside for an hour." Chantal said as she got in the car and I looked her over, there was something off about her.
"You ok?" I asked and she nodded.
"I'm fine, just in love with a dumbass." She huffed then gave me a sly smile. "I guess you could give me pointers, huh?"
I reached over and smacked her arm as she laughed. After that the conversation stayed light and we continued to the offices of Survivors United.
"What the fuck?" She said quietly as we parked in our customary spot and saw Jacob Hale standing outside the back with his cell to his ear.
"I have no idea but this can't be good." She nodded and we got out of the car. As we approached the door he was standing near Hale looked over and said a quick goodbye before he hung up.
"Milla, Ms. Tau." He nodded and I resisted the urge to growl. Such a condescending, disrespectful asshole and after what he had done to Elliot last month he was definitely on my hit list.
"It's Mrs. Ortiz, unless I consider you a friend, or a fellow human...Jacob." I smiled tightly and he frowned. Good, he was quick on the uptake.
"Very well, Mrs. Ortiz." He said my name in the disgusted tone and I just smiled before his phone beeped and he turned. I took advantage of his distraction and went to the door. Chantal followed and soon we were through the door and down the hallway. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Elliot standing in the main room, but that relief turned to apprehension when he turned and I got a good look at his face.
"Elliot?" I asked and he came up and hugged me before he turned and hugged Chantal.
"I'm so glad you two are here, I wanted you to be the first to know." He ran a hand over his face and Chanty gave me a look.
"What's going on Mr. Oswald?" She asked and he led us to a set up with two chairs facing a third...shit...this didn't look good. Still, we sat down and waited for him to let us know what was up.
"You two know that I took a beating with the land deal right?" We both nodded and he continued. "Unfortunately that means that I had to cut a lot of things from Oswald, things that were costing me money, rather than bringing it in. I held onto Survivors United as long as I could, but with the economy, and this...I couldn't justify it anymore. There was no way that I could keep this up. Not even with donations or volunteer work. I'm sorry."
"That's it, you're not even going to try?" I asked and Elliot gave me a sad look.
"I did try, for a month but I can't keep this up. I'm so sorry Milla, Chantal. The reason I invited the two of you here so early is because I have job opportunities for the two of you that I won't be offering anyone else." He smiled his most professional smile and I felt my stomach lurch. "Oswald Construction has been offered the "Charming Heights" contract and we accepted. I'll need and on-site supervisor to handle paperwork and employee issues and an interoffice liaison to help with the flow this will create. I was thinking Chantal could work on-site and Milla, you could be my interoffice liaison. You know the way Oswald works and have a good rapport with all the supervisors. The jobs would pay slightly better than both of you are getting now and you'd have more responsibilities and access to healthcare. What do you say?"
Chantal looked at me and I sighed. The new job sounded good, sounded great but I just couldn't do it.
"Do what you need to do Chanty." I said quietly and she nodded.
"This is a great opportunity for both of you." He was trying to sell it, but I sighed before Chantal grabbed my hand and squeezed to give me strength. This was going to be hard.
"I appreciate this opportunity Elliot, I truly do but I have to respectfully decline your offer. I cannot justify working for Jacob Hale. The man has tried to oust my family and destroy everything we've worked for. He's responsible for so much shit that I can't even look at him without my stomach turning. I respect you and understand that you had no choice in this but I do and I can't work for you if you work with him. I'm sorry Elliot." I looked at him and he nodded.
"I was expecting this reaction. What if I offered you a job in another part of Oswald?" I shook my head and he nodded again before he turned to Chantal. "Chantal?"
"I would love the opportunity Elliot and am very pleased and flattered that you think of me so highly, but I can't do it. This is my family now and Hale has hurt them too much to let it stand. Thank you so much for all that you've done for me but now I have to say goodbye and good luck." She leaned over and kissed his cheek and I saw tears in her eyes. I hated that she felt she had to do this, but at the same time I was proud she was showing her loyalty.
"I understand. Thank you both so much for everything you've done and, Milla, please don't let this sour your relationship with Tris. She still needs you." I smiled before I stood. He and Chantal did the same.
"I'll still be there for Tris, you can count on that." I edged past Chantal and gave Elliot a hug. "Thank you for everything."
Once I let go I took Chantal's hand and we walked out, not the least surprised to see Hale leaning against the wall by the door. Chantal and I looked anywhere but at him and got in the car. We had a lot that we needed to think about.
* * *
I walked into the studio and felt an odd sense of homecoming. The naked women, the cameras, all it was missing was Auntie Lu. As I thought about Lu my throat closed up but I willed the sensation away and followed Chantal. We were at Dondo's studio to give Lyla her bag, and so Chantal could see about getting a job. She didn't handle being unemployed well.
"You miss Cara Cara don't you?" Chantal asked and I nodded. I missed being behind that camera, I even missed working on the scripts with Luann and running lines with the stars. I was about to speak when the bossman himself walked up to us. I'd worked with Dondo before when I was Luann's assistant so there was no hesitation as he gave me a hug.
"Milla Mia, my darling." He smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder. "How are you? The last time I saw you, you were in a hospital bed."
I smiled, Dondo may have been arrogant and annoying at times but if he was your friend it was for life and I considered him a friend.
"I'm good, I have a beautiful little girl and I'm recovering nicely. We're here to give Lyla her bag." Dondo nodded before he looked over at Chantal and smiled wider.
"Chantal Tau, the brains and the beauty. Please tell me you're looking for a job.I would _love_ to have you on my payroll." He took her hand in his and she gave him a small smile.
"Actually, I did want to talk to you about a job. Is it possible to arrange a meeting?" She smiled more brightly at him and he nodded.
"No need to arrange one. You two go to my office after you see Lyla." We nodded and he leaned down to kiss my cheek before we went to Lyla's dressing room. In Cara Cara she was one of the lower-rung girls but here she was his star and I was happy she'd finally made it big. I just wished she'd actually listen to her old man every once in a while and at least try to find work with Dondo that didn't involve her getting naked in front of the camera. I knocked on the door and heard her shout for us to come in. When we walked in she was sitting around dressed in a nurse's uniform and talking into her phone.
"I'll be home later Ope. I know, Milla and Chanty are here. I'll ask them." She gave an exasperated sigh and looked at us. "Did you two get an escort here? Ope wants to be sure you're not alone."
"Ratboy came with us since Phil was doing some updates on the Club comp." Chantal answered and Lyla nodded.
"Ratboy's their escort. Ok, I'll call when I'm on my way." Lyla hung up before she stood and hugged us both. "Sorry about that, Ope's been up my ass lately. Thanks for bringing my bag."
"No problem, everything ok with you two?" I asked and Lyla threw up her hands.
"Who knows? One minute he's letting me do my thing, the next he's on me about my job. Just relationship bullshit. I'm good and really, thank you for my bag." She hugged me again before she stuffed her bag under her seat.
"No problem. What's the employment situation like around here?" I asked as I looked around and Lyla smiled.
"He's always on the lookout for new talent and I know for a fact that he needs a new PA, preferably someone who knows the business." She gave me a look and I felt a smile stretch my face. I'd have to talk to Juice about it, but I definitely wouldn't mind coming back.
"Thanks Lyla, we have to meet with Dondo but if you need anything let us know." I hugged her again and she nodded.
"Thank you, and if you need me to put in a word with Dondo text me." Chantal and I nodded before we left her dressing room and found a PA who led us to Dondo's office without a complaint.
"I can't believe we're doing this." Chantal said with a trace of disappointment in her voice, as we waited for Dondo to return, and I reached over to grab her hand.
"We can walk out right now." I offered her the out and she shook her head.
"I need this too much and I'm not cut out for waitressing." I nodded and gave her hand a quick squeeze.
"Hello ladies, sorry to keep you waiting." I looked back and saw Dondo walk in and shut the door behind him before he walked to his desk and sat down. "When do you want to start?"
He looked at Chantal and she was speechless at his abruptness. He saw this and continued.
"I talked to Lyla, she says you're both interested. I need a new Personal Assistant, not just a Production Assistant and I know you're good at that shit Milla. I could also offer you script work and some scene direction. You'd be doing what you did for Luann, only you'd be doing it for me. Chantal...I know you're hot, really fucking hot but I had different plans for you. I need a new distribution manager and the shit that you did for Imagica was fantastic. You took a rinky dink company and put it on the map before they shut you down. I know you could do that for us. What do you ladies say? Both jobs are on the table." He leaned back and rested his hands on his stomach before he looked at us.
"I'll take it!" Chantal blurted and I took a deep breath. I wanted this job, really wanted it.
"I have to talk to my husband first, let him know what went down." I also had to tell him about my unemployment, the last time I visited we were so caught up in each other that I barely told him anything.
"I get it. Let me know soon, ok?" He asked and I nodded. "Good, Chantal I'll have some papers drawn up and bring you in later this week."
He reached across the desk and shook her hand before he reached across and did the same to me.
"Milla, don't be a stranger." I nodded as Chantal and I both stood, said our goodbyes then left. As we got to the car Chantal was walking on air while I had thoughts weighing down on me. I really needed to talk to Juice and I had a week before I could visit him. It would be a long week.
* * *
I sat at the picnic table and waited for Juice to come through the doors. I had to psych myself up to tell him what was going down. When I worked at Cara Cara he never had a problem but things could be different now. Now I was his wife, I had his baby and we there were other things to consider. Then again I'd be bringing in a nice paycheck and have a stable work environment with someone who understood how important the club was to me. I sighed but felt a smile stretch my face as the lock disengaged warning went off and I saw Juice escorted through the door. He grinned and walked up to me as I stood.
"Hey baby." He said quietly before he brought his mouth to mine. I simply kissed him back before we sat and he laced his fingers with mine. "How's Espy doing? She still got that cold?'
I nodded, the cold had been making its way through all of the kids so we had to be careful who we exposed them to and who they were exposed to. We didn't want an epidemic on our hands, especially while the guys were busy with their runs.
"Espy's doing fine, she just has the sniffles and is really tired a lot of the time. She misses her Daddy though. She says "dada" all the time." It made him smile before he leaned in and kissed me again.
"How are you?" He unlaced his fingers and ran them through my hair before he settled his hand on my neck and rubbed. I missed his magic fingers.
"I have something to tell you baby, please don't be mad." I moved away and his brow furrowed. "I'm not exactly employed right now."
"What do you mean baby?" He asked as he kept our fingers laced.
"Elliot had to close down Survivors United and had to let us go. I should've told you earlier." I hung my head before he used his crooked finger to lift my chin so he could look at me.
"Are you ok? How does this affect you baby?" He forced me to look at him and I sighed.
"I still have assistance if I need it and the other money's good but this sucks. I like working for Elliot." I chuckled when I thought of how petulant I sounded but Juice chuckled with me.
"I liked you working for him to. At least I could count on him not to hit on you." I held in a laugh at that. What Juice didn't know couldn't hurt Elliot. "You goin' for another job or you gonna stay home?"
"I was offered a job baby. I just don't know what to do about it." Juice moved his hand and sat back a bit as he unlaced our fingers, he was obviously waiting for me to continue. "Dondo, Lyla's boss, offered me a job as his personal assistant. I'd be doing what I did for Luann, no more or less and the pay's good. What should I do baby?"
He took a breath then blew it out his mouth as he looked at me. I could see the wheels turning in his head and he seemed to come to a decision before he leaned in and kissed me.
"I'll support whatever decision you make babe. Just make the one that's best for you and Espy." He kissed me again before he settled back and took my hand again. Just like that all the anxiety was washed away and I lost myself in my husband again.
* * *
"What about these?" Lyla asked as she held up these tacky looking champagne flutes encrusted with what could only be described as bling. Gillian and I shared a look before I reached over and guided Lyla's hand back to the shelf.
"Honey, I think simple's the best route to go now. What about those?" I pointed to these beautiful blue tinted glasses and she grinned.
"Perfect! Now, what about gifts for the wedding party. What should I get Jax and Tara?" She looked anxious at the thought of getting them something.
"Let Ope worry about Jax's gift. I say get Tara something nice that she'd never get herself, maybe a bracelet or something?" I suggested and she just nodded.
"I have the perfect thing! Come on, we can get the other stuff later." She took my hand and started to drag me while Gillian followed behind and laughed at Lyla's excitement. She could since she wasn't being dragged behind a manic woman on a mission.
Lyla dragged me out of the store and didn't stop until we were in front of another store down the street. The title "Frills and Thrills" caught me off guard for a minute before I remembered I'd been there before. Juice was definitely a fan of their merchandise.
Lyla was going to pull me through the door when she saw Gillian standing away from the door just looking, making no movement to go in.
"You two have fun in there, I'll just go back and see about the-" She was trying to get out of it when Lyla let go of my hand and walked to her.
"Please come in Gillian. I never get to do girlie things with you and I want to do this. I also really respect your opinion. I just want to find a gift for Tara and maybe something for the wedding night. Please come in?" She widened her eyes and I had to resist a laugh as Gillian nodded.
"I'll come in, but don't expect me to be any help." Lyla just smiled and threw her arms around Gillian before she let her go and walked into the store while I followed behind.
…
I was looking through a rack of absolutely beautiful negligees, avoiding Lyla's insanity when Gillian came up beside me and looked down. She was avoiding Lyla too.
"Want to go back to the store?" She asked and I shook my head, now I had a mission. I wanted something special for after the wedding too. Juice deserved a treat.
"I'm looking for something that'll make my man's jaw hit the floor and the leather contraption Lyla picked for me isn't exactly my style." I let my gaze land on this black and white polka-dotted negligee and Gillian just reached over me and took out a red negligee dotted with black roses and lined with this beautiful red lace.
"That will go well with the dress you got for the wedding. Besides red's your color." I picked up the negligee and looked at it before I looked at Gillian and smiled. She knew me well.
…
Later that day we were sitting around our table in the restaurant discussing our shopping trip. Lyla had gotten this absolutely beautiful lingerie set that looked like something Emma Frost would wear to a business meeting but on Lyla it would work. She also got this gorgeous nightgown for Tara that my brother would certainly appreciate that was sexy, yet conservative enough that Tara would love it. Gillian had gotten nothing but uncomfortable in the store so she ducked out as soon as we were done and managed to get the stuff on Lyla's list. The wedding was two weeks away and things were falling into place.
"So, when's Koz moving into your place Gilly?" Lyla asked and Gillian looked up and quickly moved her eyes between us. It was almost comical, or it would've been if she didn't look scared. Then it came to me, she hadn't discussed his move with me yet.
"Don't worry Gillian, Koz told me all about it. Since Chantal's already gone he didn't want to leave me completely alone so we talked about it. I'm happy for you two." I reached over and patted her hand while she smiled weakly.
"Thank you for being understanding. He's moving in Saturday. He wants to be settled before they get out. I was trying to figure out the time to tell you. He was supposed to wait for me." She looked a bit angry so I decided to soften it.
"Don't be mad Gillian. Koz and I never lie to each other and we tend to tell each other everything important. He was just looking out for me." I gave her a smile and she just nodded. She'd probably be talking to him, but for the time being she wasn't that angry. She'd be even less angry once he found the right time to put the ring I'd helped him pick out on her finger.
* * *
"Daddy's comin' home tomorrow peanut." I whispered as I tucked a stray curl behind my baby's ear, before I laid back on the pillows and looked at the ceiling. For some reason I didn't want to sleep alone so having Espy share the bed with me seemed like the best option.
I looked back at her and smiled. Soon our family would be together, soon we'd be whole. The past fourteen months had been the hardest of my life and had proven to me that I needed Juice. I needed him to make me happy, I needed our daughter to give me purpose. I caressed her hair one last time before I turned over and looked at the clock. Eleven more hours and they'd be home. Eleven more hours and our lives could begin again.
With that thought I leaned over and kissed my daughter's head before I rested my head on my pillow and closed my eyes. The next time they opened I'd be greeting the day and I'd be getting ready to greet my man. After fourteen months without him I hoped he could handle what I had in mind, I just wasn't sure the bed could.
* * *
**Author's Note: **That's it, the end of _Down the Road_. I wanted to finish this story before the events of season 4 bled all over it and those of you who have seen know what I'm talking about. I hope you all enjoyed it because I enjoyed writing it. I really want to thank you all for reading and reviewing. With each story I feel more and more confident as a writer, so thank you for that. I have one request for you before we conclude things. Let me know if you think Milla should work for Dondo. If you remember she worked for Luann at Cara Cara for a while and this new job would be like that. I ask this of you because I'm not sure where to take it and I respect your opinions. Just remember that she'd be behind the camera, not in front of it. Thank you all again and having your input means the world to me.
End file.
| fanfiction |
How long can dimethyl sulfoxide be safely stored in a HDPE "barrier bottle"?
How long can dimethyl sulfoxide be contained in a HDPE barrier bottle without any reaction between the plastic and the solvent? I have read that DMSO is not reactive with HDPE, but I would like to know if anyone has alternative data. I received a shipment of 99.999% pure DMSO, directly from the manufacturer, in specially made HDPE gallon jugs, but I am wondering if I would be well advised to transfer it to glass containers for long-term storage, to maintain purity. Thank you for any insights!
edit: Someone in the comments has suggested I add this information: the intended use of this DMSO is for personal experimentation and research regarding the pain reducing qualities of DMSO, utilizing myself as the test subject.
2 years according to the Aldrich data sheet
<https://www.sigmaaldrich.com/deepweb/assets/sigmaaldrich/product/documents/303/292/d8779pis.pdf>
Almost indefinitely as long as the temperature is below 60 degrees or so. I have seen vats full of DMSO of Poly propylene FRP construction up for years. Although the one we used is 99.1% and more and not 99.999% but yeah one FRP tank is more than 22 years old and has been filled with DMSO all its like used to make TMSO-B all day everyday.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Werner Breig born 29 June 1932 is a German musicologist and music publisher.
Life
Born in Zwickau, Breig studied Protestant sacred music at the Spandauer Kirchenmusikschule from 1950 and musicology, art history and library science at the universities Friedrich-Alexander-Universität Erlangen-Nürnberg and Hamburg from 1955. In 1962 he received his doctorate as Dr. phil. at the University of Erlangen-Nuremberg with a dissertation on Heinrich Scheidemann. He worked as research assistant at the musicological seminar of the University of Freiburg and received a scholarship from the Deutsche Forschungsgemeinschaft for further studies. In 1973 he received his habilitation in Freiburg im Breisgau. In 1974 he became professor for musicology at the Hochschule für Musik Karlsruhe and director of the musicological institute of the Karlsruhe Institute of Technology. In 1979 he became professor for musicology at the Bergische Universität Wuppertal. From 1988 until his Emeriterus in 1997, he held the chair of musicology at the Ruhr-Universität Bochum.
His work focuses on the analysis and edition of compositions of the 17th and 18th centuries, including Johann Sebastian Bach and especially Heinrich Schütz. He founded the .
Publications
Die Orgelwerke von Heinrich Scheidemann. Franz Steiner, Wiesbaden 1967.
with Werner Schulz: Richard Wagner und Karlsruhe. Braun, Karlsruhe 1987.
Bachs Orchesterwerke. Klangfarben-Musikverlag, Witten 1997.
Schütz-Gesamtausgaben. In Reinmar Emans, Ulrich Krämer edit: Musikeditionen im Wandel der Geschichte. de Gruyter, Berlin 2015, , .
as publisher:
Opernkomposition als Prozess. Bärenreiter, Kassel 1996.
Further reading
Breig, Werner on MGG Online subscription required
External links
References
Category:German musicologists
Category:20th-century musicologists
Category:21st-century musicologists
Category:Bach scholars
Category:German music publishers people
Category:German writers about music
Category:University of Wuppertal faculty
Category:Ruhr University Bochum faculty
Category:1932 births
Category:Living people
Category:People from Zwickau | wikipedia |
Vohemar Airport is an airport in Vohemar, Sava Region, Madagascar .
Scheduled services
References
External links
Category:Airports in Madagascar
Category:Sava Region | wikipedia |
How can action and reaction forces be equal?
Suppose that I push an object having a very small mass of 10 grams.
The object accelerates, so does our hand. Since, the mass of the object is less than ours and so is the acceleration then how can it exert an equal force on our hand since $F=ma$?
First let’s understand what actually $ \vec F = m \vec a$ means. If you push on light stationary object and on a heavy stationary object you will find them moving with different speeds (I’m assuming friction to be absent and same force is applied on both heavy and light object). This is because your force (push) doesn’t gets converted *as it is* (I mean magnitude) into acceleration, it gets amplified or reduced. By some careful experiments our old ancestors found that *If a force $F$ is applied on an object and if that force produces an acceleration $a$ then $F$ is related to $a$ as $$ F = ma$$ where $m$ is the inertial mass of the object on which force was applied* .
Now, let’s do some mathematics with equation. Assume force of magnitude $F$ was applied on both light and heavy object, then for both of them we can write the equation separately as $$ F = m a\_m \\
F = M a\_M $$
$M$ is the inertial mass of the heavy object and $m$ is the mass of the lighter one. $$ a\_m = \frac{F}{m} \\
a\_M = \frac{F}{M} $$
You can see very clearly that $a\_m \gt a\_M$ (I wouldn’t try to explain it because over explanation sometimes ruins the whole understanding). So, a light object would have more speed and the heavy one will have less speed. Now, if the object in your question is lighter than you then it will be accelerating faster than you and since the same force acts on you (the force with which you pushed it was felt instantaneously by you) but your mass is bigger than that therefore your acceleration will be smaller than that object. It’s a very simple maths, *less mass $\times $ bigger acceleration* is same in magnitude as *big mass $\times$ low acceleration* .
The action-reaction law has nothing to do with acceleration of the objects. *Every action has an equal and opposite reaction* is an experimental result. Reaction of the force is felt because every object *distorts* a little whenever it is subjected to any force. This distortion causes the reaction force. In many cases you cannot see that distortion but it is there.
P.S. :- My explanation of that reaction force is (the last paragraph of actual answer) was developed from the book **Newtonian Mechanics** by **A.P. French**.
When you exert a force $F$ on the object having a mass $m$ $(=10 gm)$, then according to Newton's third law of motion, an equal force but in the opposite direction is exerted on your hand.
The object moves with an acceleration $a=\frac{F}m$, whereas your hand (assuming it's mass to be $M$ and ignoring any other force acting on the arm-hand system) moves with an acceleration $a'=\frac{F}M$ opposite to the direction of motion of the object.
You don't actually start moving backwards due to the opposite force $F$ since it's not enough to overcome the friction between your feet and the ground.
The fact that the mass of the object is smaller than ours does not imply that a reaction force cannot exist. Whenever you apply force to any object (no matter what it's mass), there will always be a reaction force that is exactly equal but opposite in direction.
| stackexchange/physics |
pubmed |
|
What is the significance of the imaginary unit in Deutsch gate?
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/L4JUX.png)
What is the significance of the imaginary unit $i$ in Deutsch gate? Is this controlled $R\_x(\pi\alpha)$ still universal without the imaginary unit $i$?
In <http://arxiv.org/abs/quant-ph/9505016> (see also <http://arxiv.org/abs/quant-ph/9505018>), it is shown that any doubly-controlled rotation (as in the question) with a rotation
$$
R=\left(\begin{matrix} e^{i\alpha}\cos\theta & -ie^{i(\alpha-\phi)}\sin\theta \\
-ie^{i(\alpha+\phi)}\sin\theta & e^{i\alpha}\cos\theta
\end{matrix}\right)
$$
is universal as long as $\alpha$, $\phi$, and $\theta$ are irrational multiples of $\pi$ and of each other. Thus, the specific choice $i$ of the prefactor in the Deutsch gate bears no relevance.
Note, however, that there are cases where not all angles are irrational which are nevertheless universal, such as for instance the Deutsch gate itself; it is therefore not clear whether simply omitting the $i$ above renders the gate non-universal. (Thus, this should only be considered a partial answer.)
| stackexchange/physics |
during the last decade , anterior cruciate ligament ( acl ) research has focused predominantly on anatomy and anatomic acl reconstruction . although the surgical procedure has been investigated thoroughly , there are unresolved problems .
webster et al . recently reported an overall acl re - rupture rate of 4.5 % .
in young and active subjects , re - rupture rates of up to 20 % have been reported .
one factor that might contribute to such high acl re - rupture rates is a premature return to sports activities . according to webster et al .
, 50 % of acl graft ruptures occur during the first year after primary acl reconstruction .
there is general agreement that professional and high - level recreational athletes must undergo acl reconstruction to return to the pre - injury level .
currently , at least 6 months are recommended before patients are allowed to return to contact or pivoting sports ; although there is little firm evidence regarding the safe return to play , many athletes are pressured to make their comeback as soon as possible following surgery .
there are several relevant factors for a safe return to sports ; however , some factors are more practicable than others .
most of the knowledge regarding the remodelling process is based on animal studies [ 8 , 18 , 27 ] , and the results from animal models are not directly applicable to humans . from human biopsy studies
, it is known that the remodelling process is similar in animal models and humans ; however , the timeline is variable and unpredictable [ 14 , 33 ] .
currently , clinical and/or functional predictors are relied upon to determine a safe return to sports .
one important predictor to determine the safe return to sports after acl reconstruction is the patient s functional capacity .
even professional athletes with access to intensive rehabilitation and training programs have functional , neuromuscular and postural deficits following surgery , possibly leading to a higher acl re - rupture risk .
several test protocols have been designed to provide objective measures , which should facilitate deciding when a return to contact or high - risk pivoting sports is relatively safe .
test protocols typically consist of laxity measurements and subjective scores as well as various jumping and strength tests [ 4 , 5 , 11 , 23 , 25 ] .
most of these protocols require expensive equipment or are extremely time - consuming or excessively complex for implementation in daily clinical practice .
nevertheless , probably more than 90 % of the patients return to sports without any objective functional evaluation after acl surgery .
therefore , a novel standardized test battery that is simple to use and does not require excessive equipment or a large amount of time or space was developed . in this pilot study ,
the test protocol was used for the first time to evaluate the functional abilities of a group of patients following acl reconstruction .
the test battery covers different neuromuscular and coordinative skills and allows comparison to normative data of healthy subjects .
it can be used in a routine fashion to objectively determine the earliest time point when patients are ready to safely return to sports following acl reconstruction .
sixty - nine patients , 27 ( 39.1 % ) female ( mean age 20.9 7.8 years ) and 42 ( 60.9 % ) male ( mean age 21.5 5.7 years ) , were included in this prospective study .
thirty ( 43.5 % ) patients had injured their non - dominant leg , whereas 39 ( 56.5 % ) had injured their dominant leg .
all the patients underwent a standardized early rehabilitation protocol . the time point for the first test was determined by the patient ( when he or she felt ready ) , the treating surgeon and the physiotherapist as well as being by subjective and objective criteria ( no swelling of the knee , full range of knee motion and the ability to safely perform all the functions required by the tests in physical therapy ) .
the patients performed the test battery on average 170.7 75.1 ( range 100494 ) days following unilateral acl reconstruction and were retested on average 239.1 79.7 ( range 145574 ) days post - operatively .
the test and retest were used to determine whether a return to prior sports activity could be recommended .
for the acl reconstructions , hamstring tendon grafts were used in 47 ( 68.1 % ) cases , quadriceps tendon grafts in 12 ( 17.4 % ) and bone patellar tendon bone grafts in 10 ( 14.5 % ) patients . in 12 ( 17.4 % ) of the 69 patients ,
1injury pattern distribution within the study cohort shown as percentage injury pattern distribution within the study cohort shown as percentage the following inclusion criteria were used : ( 1 ) unilateral acl reconstruction with or without combined meniscus repair or partial meniscus resection as well as combined conservatively treated mcl injuries , ( 2 ) between 10 and 50 years of age at surgery , ( 3 ) a completed test and retest and ( 4 ) expected high patient compliance .
the following exclusion criteria were used : ( 1 ) bilateral acl tears , ( 2 ) multi - ligament reconstructions , ( 3 ) concomitant mcl reconstruction or repair , ( 4 ) clinically relevant cardiovascular history and ( 5 ) clinically relevant neurological and neuromuscular disorders .
the test battery back in action can be accomplished in 45 min and only needs little equipment and one room .
it consisted of the following subtests : a two - legged ( tl - st ) and one - legged stability test ( ol - st ) , a two - legged ( tl - cmj ) and one - legged counter movement jump with height and power calculations ( ol - cmj ) , speedy jumps ( ol - sy ) , plyometric jumps ( tl - pj ) and a quick feed test ( tl - qft ) . the test retest analysis of this new acl test battery resulted in an interclass correlation coefficient between 0.688 and 0.921 for all the subtests .
the values of all the tests were categorized into five groups from very good , good , normal , weak and very weak according to the age- and gender - matched normal data of 434 healthy subjects .
the categorizations considered the gender , patient age and leg dominancy . for the calculation of the limb symmetry index ( lsi ) of the one - legged tests ,
the resulting absolute value of the injured leg was divided by the value of the non - affected leg and multiplied by 100 . for the stability ,
quick feet and speedy tests , lower values were considered better than higher values , and the calculation of the lsi was different . for these tests ,
the lsi was calculated by dividing the measured value of the non - affected leg by the value of the injured side and multiplying by 100 .
the different lsi calculations were performed to achieve comparable and consistent values for all the single - legged tests . with our adaptation of the lsi formula for those tests , the lsi for the injured leg is always suspected of being inferior to the unaffected side . for a recommendation for a safe return to sports , a patient was required to score at least
the patients who intended to return to competitive high - risk sports ( e.g. alpine skiing or soccer ) were required to score values that were at least regarded as good within the normative values ( table 1 ) .
an lsi > 90 % for the dominant leg and an lsi > 80 % for the non - dominant determined the time for a return to play.table 1objective criteria patients had to fulfil for a safe return to play compared to normative values of healthy controlscategories of norm datacompetitive athletesrecreational athletesvery goodxxgoodxxnormxweakvery weaklsi dominant leg ( % ) 9090lsi non - dominant leg ( % ) 8080 objective criteria patients had to fulfil for a safe return to play compared to normative values of healthy controls the procedures were reviewed and approved by the board of ethical questions in science of the university of innsbruck . for the statistical analysis , spss 20.0 ( ibm spss statistics , new york , usa ) for mac software was used .
smirnov test for the metrical data and with the chi - squared test for the nominal data .
the quantitative parameters were evaluated with the calculation of the mean and standard deviations ( sds ) . to determine possible differences between the test values of the patients who were ready for a return to play and the patients who had deficits , the student s t test or mann whitney u test were used , depending on the data distribution . to evaluate the progress during physical therapy between the tests and retests , matched pair analyses using the student s t test or the wilcoxon test , depending on the data distribution , were performed .
a post hoc power analysis using g*power 3.1.9.2 ( franz paul , kiel , germany ) was used to determine the power of the present study .
based on the results of the student s t test and mann whitney u test , an effect size of 0.35 was calculated . with the underlying effect size
, an of 0.05 and a study group of sixty - nine patients , a power of 0.82 was calculated .
the test battery back in action can be accomplished in 45 min and only needs little equipment and one room .
it consisted of the following subtests : a two - legged ( tl - st ) and one - legged stability test ( ol - st ) , a two - legged ( tl - cmj ) and one - legged counter movement jump with height and power calculations ( ol - cmj ) , speedy jumps ( ol - sy ) , plyometric jumps ( tl - pj ) and a quick feed test ( tl - qft ) . the test retest analysis of this new acl test battery resulted in an interclass correlation coefficient between 0.688 and 0.921 for all the subtests .
the values of all the tests were categorized into five groups from very good , good , normal , weak and very weak according to the age- and gender - matched normal data of 434 healthy subjects .
the categorizations considered the gender , patient age and leg dominancy . for the calculation of the limb symmetry index ( lsi ) of the one - legged tests ,
the resulting absolute value of the injured leg was divided by the value of the non - affected leg and multiplied by 100 . for the stability ,
quick feet and speedy tests , lower values were considered better than higher values , and the calculation of the lsi was different . for these tests ,
the lsi was calculated by dividing the measured value of the non - affected leg by the value of the injured side and multiplying by 100 .
the different lsi calculations were performed to achieve comparable and consistent values for all the single - legged tests . with our adaptation of the lsi formula for those tests , the lsi for the injured leg is always suspected of being inferior to the unaffected side .
for a recommendation for a safe return to sports , a patient was required to score at least
the patients who intended to return to competitive high - risk sports ( e.g. alpine skiing or soccer ) were required to score values that were at least regarded as good within the normative values ( table 1 ) .
an lsi > 90 % for the dominant leg and an lsi > 80 % for the non - dominant determined the time for a return to play.table 1objective criteria patients had to fulfil for a safe return to play compared to normative values of healthy controlscategories of norm datacompetitive athletesrecreational athletesvery goodxxgoodxxnormxweakvery weaklsi dominant leg ( % ) 9090lsi non - dominant leg ( % ) 8080 objective criteria patients had to fulfil for a safe return to play compared to normative values of healthy controls the procedures were reviewed and approved by the board of ethical questions in science of the university of innsbruck .
for the statistical analysis , spss 20.0 ( ibm spss statistics , new york , usa ) for mac software was used .
smirnov test for the metrical data and with the chi - squared test for the nominal data .
the quantitative parameters were evaluated with the calculation of the mean and standard deviations ( sds ) . to determine possible differences between the test values of the patients who were ready for a return to play and the patients who had deficits , the student s t test or mann whitney u test were used , depending on the data distribution . to evaluate the progress during physical therapy between the tests and retests , matched pair analyses using the student s t test or the wilcoxon test , depending on the data distribution , were performed .
a post hoc power analysis using g*power 3.1.9.2 ( franz paul , kiel , germany ) was used to determine the power of the present study .
based on the results of the student s t test and mann whitney u test , an effect size of 0.35 was calculated . with the underlying effect size
, an of 0.05 and a study group of sixty - nine patients , a power of 0.82 was calculated .
the use of this novel test battery was found to be feasible for all the patients , and no injuries were encountered throughout the test performances .
the required test time per patient was between 45 and 60 min , including the warm up period .
after completing the test battery for the first time ( approximately 5.6 months post - surgery ) , only 11 ( 15.9 % ) of the 69 patients fulfilled the criteria determining a safe return to sports , indicating that they scored at least
, none of the 63 patients who wanted to participate in competitive sports fulfilled the required criteria .
the most limiting factor for a return to sports at this time point was the lsi .
the pre - defined criteria for a safe return to play were lsi values > 90 % if the dominant leg was affected and > 80 % if the non - dominant leg was affected . for the ol - st , ol - cmj for height and power and the ol - sy , 17.4
, 40.6 , 39.1 and 5.8 % of the patients did not meet those criteria .
figures 2 and 3 show the details of each subtest compared to those of a group of healthy subjects.fig .
2single - legged subtests : performance reached at the initial test shown as percentagefig .
3single - legged subtests : performance reached at the initial test shown as percentage single - legged subtests : performance reached at the initial test shown as percentage single - legged subtests : performance reached at the initial test shown as percentage after completing the test battery for the first time , two subtests showed significantly ( p < 0.05 ) different results .
the absolute values for the ol - st of the dominant leg ( p = 0.048 ) and the lsis for the ol - cmj for height and power ( p = 0.013 , p = 0.022 ) differed significantly between those patients who were ready and were not ready to return to play . after completing the test battery for the second time ( approximately 8 months following acl reconstruction ) , 12 ( 17.4 % ) patients were ready for a return to sports , and one patient met the criteria for a safe return to competitive sports .
the lsi was the most limiting factor at this time point for a return to play .
for the ol - st , ol - cmj for height and power and the ol - sy , 13.0 , 24.6 , 37.7 and 1.4 % of the patients did not meet those criteria ( table 2 ) .
figures 4 and 5 summarize the patients scores in the retest compared to those of the group of healthy subjects.fig .
5two - legged subtests : performance reached at the retest shown as percentage single - legged subtests : performance reached at the retest shown as percentage two - legged subtests : performance reached at the retest shown as percentage in the retest , significant differences between the patients who were ready and were not ready to return to play could be detected by the tl - cmj for height and power ( p = 0.025 , p = 0.014 ) , the ol - cmj of the dominant leg for height ( p = 0.003 ) and for the tl - pj ( p = 0.000 ) .
the evaluation of the test and retest performance of the study cohort showed a significant ( p < 0.05 ) improvement over time in most subtests ( tables 3 , 4).table 2lsi for all one - legged subtests of test and retest shown as mean values sdabsolute values
p valuetestretestlsi ol - st102.6 15.399.9 12.7n.s.lsi ol - cmj height87.4 20.793.1 15.40.016*lsi ol - cmj power89.9 22.793.3 20.0n.s.lsi ol - sy97.5 13.998.7 13.1n.s .
p values marked with * indicate statistical significancetable 3lsi with respect to dominant and non - dominant side for all one - legged subtests of test and retest shown as mean values sdabsolute values
p valuetestretestol - st dominant2.1 0.52.0 0.4n.s.ol-st non - dominant2.1
0.51.9 0.30.004*ol - cmj height dominant21.5 4.522.5 5.30.018*ol - cmj height non - dominant20.9 5.722.3 4.30.010*ol - cmj power dominant27.3 5.927.9 7.9n.s.ol-cmj power non - dominant26.6 7.928.0 6.4n.s.ol-sy dominant5.9 1.15.4 1.10.000*ol - sy non - dominant5.9 1.35.5 0.90.003 *
p values marked with * indicate statistical significance lsi for all one - legged subtests of test and retest shown as mean values sd
p values marked with * indicate statistical significance lsi with respect to dominant and non - dominant side for all one - legged subtests of test and retest shown as mean values sd
p values marked with * indicate statistical significance
the most important finding of the present study was that approximately 8 months following acl reconstruction , 82.6 % of the patients had functional deficits in one or more parameters compared to a group of healthy age- and gender - matched subjects .
additionally , only 1.5 % of the patients were ready for a return to competitive sports , if strict criteria were applied .
the test battery back in action is practical since it can be accomplished in 45 min and only needs very little equipment and space .
furthermore , due to the software used , a quick evaluation and feedback of the patient s performance is possible.table 4lsi for all two - legged subtests of test and retest shown as mean values sdabsolute values
p valuetestretesttl - st2.1 0.51.9 0.40.023*tl - cmj height38.4 5.740.1 6.60.000*tl - cmj power44.4 7.945.7 9.9n.s.tl-pj2.1
0.52.2 0.50.002*tl - qft8.5 1.78.0 1.20.000 *
p values marked with * indicate statistical significance lsi for all two - legged subtests of test and retest shown as mean values sd
p values marked with * indicate statistical significance webster et al .
recently published a post - acl reconstruction graft rupture rate of 4.5 % during a 3-year follow - up .
patients under 20 years of age have a particularly high incidence of acl re - rupture .
after 5 or more years , up to 11 % of patients sustained a re - rupture and up to 16 % had a contralateral acl injury [ 6 , 32 ] .
although those studies document the re - rupture rate over a 3- to 5-year period , many acl re - ruptures occur within the first year after surgery [ 26 , 31 ] .
several studies found a higher risk of acl re - rupture if patients participated in a high - risk sport that includes pivoting or cutting movements [ 16 , 26 , 31 ] .
although up to 90 % of the patients return to play after an acl surgery [ 2 , 10 , 12 , 19 ] , only 50 % return to their pre - injury activity level [ 2 , 3 , 10 , 19 ] . these studies demonstrate that although many patients return to play after acl reconstruction , the timing might be premature with respect to their functional abilities or the mechanical properties of the graft .
those studies show that the biomechanical properties of a graft are at their weakest between 6 and 8 weeks post - operatively , followed by a slow increase in strength .
the graft could resist physiological loads 68 months post - operatively [ 8 , 18 , 27 ] .
restoration of functional capabilities following acl reconstruction is crucial because the mechanical characteristics of a healing graft could not be safely characterized .
currently , a minimum of 6 post - operative months is recommended before returning to pivoting and competitive sports [ 12 , 15 ] . despite intensive physical therapy following acl surgery , functional deficits
we demonstrated in our study that only 17.4 % of the patients did not show functional deficits 8 months post - surgery .
the remaining 82.6 % of the patients had a functional deficit in at least one subtest , and a safe return to sports could not be recommended .
laboute et al . found that patients who returned to competitive sports within 7 months post - operatively had a significantly higher risk of acl re - rupture than did the patients who returned to play later ( p = 0.014 ) .
this finding is supported by the fact that patients who return to strenuous activities following acl reconstruction have a higher risk of acl re - rupture and contralateral acl injury .
the experience of our study as well as that of other studies questions the value of a time - based return - to - sports recommendations and favours the use of a criteria - based approach [ 16 , 26 ] .
this high incidence of graft failure and contralateral acl rupture during the first year after acl reconstruction might be related to insufficient graft strength as well as to limb asymmetries or neuromuscular deficits .
ageberg et al . and augustsson et al . [ 1 , 4 ] reported that the lsi value could detect functional deficits . in our study ,
the most limiting factor for a return to play was an lsi below 90 % for the dominant leg and 80 % for the non - dominant leg on the test and retest after 5.6 and 8 months , respectively .
poor lsi values for the jumping , stability and quick feet tests are supported in the literature . in our study , the mean lsi value of the cmj was approximately 93 % .
. found post - operative lsi values for the cmj of 77.3 and 88.4 % at 6 and 12 months , respectively . in their study ,
an lsi value of 90 % was not achieved until 24 months post - operatively .
at 10 months post - surgery , they found an lsi of 89 % on the vertical jump tests . additionally , the lsi values for the hop tests correlated with the self - reported outcome measures , as well as with the return to the pre - injury level after acl reconstruction [ 3 , 17 ] . in this test battery , over 90 % of the patients achieved values within the norm
webster et al . demonstrated that subjects with an acl - reconstructed knee have inferior stabilizing abilities compared to the abilities of healthy controls even 2.5 years after surgery .
their findings are supported by other researchers [ 7 , 24 ] . a systematic review of howells et al
. found high discrepancies for the stability and postural performance of patients following acl reconstruction .
they documented that acl surgery leads to limitations in the single - legged and two - legged stability tests .
found that even professional athletes with their extensive rehabilitation and training programs have deficits in the hop test performance in the reconstructed limb compared to the performance on the uninjured side .
further , the hop test performance correlates with the ability for a return to play . a test battery for the determination of a safe return to play must assess postural abilities and hop tests as well as speed and muscle strength testing .
this pilot study included only a limited number of subjects , and no standardized clinical data in terms of knee scores or instrumented acl laxity tests were gathered . to show a positive influence regarding re - rupture ,
a higher number of patients and longer follow - up are needed . to the best of our knowledge
, this study is the first to use a test battery to compare normative data of age- and gender - matched healthy controls to that of subjects who had undergone acl reconstruction .
this comparison allows a categorization for every subtest to determine whether patients continue to have functional deficits or whether they have overcome their functional deficits .
based on the results of an initial test at 46 months , recommendations regarding future rehabilitation and training might be offered .
this pilot study shows that in many patients , their perception on their functional abilities diverges markedly from their test results . for the patient ,
an objective test result provided motivation for further training and was crucial for an awareness of the risks associated with a premature return to sports activity . based on our results ,
answering the crucial question of when to safely return to play is necessary and can be made possible using a standardized test battery with objective comparison with healthy controls .
the future will show whether such test batteries are helpful to prevent re - injuries after acl surgery due to a too premature return to sports .
approximately 8 months following acl surgery , a comparison of the results on our novel test battery to the normative data of healthy controls indicated that only 17.4 % of the patients were ready for a return to play .
of the 69 patients , only one patient met the criteria for a return to sports on a competitive level despite participation in a controlled rehabilitation program .
the test battery was shown to be safe and extremely helpful in counselling a patient with respect to further training and the timing of a return to sports . | pubmed |
Currulao is a musical genre, though strictly speaking, it also references to the folkloric dance from the Pacific region of Colombia, whose variations can also be observed in regions of Ecuador. Traditionally it is known as old bambuco, and is a dance oriented towards courtship. Its origin is closely related with the African descended culture of the region.
The word currulao alludes to the word cununao which is a reference to the drums of African origin that play an important part in the folklore of the Colombian Pacific region, the cununos.
It also has a part in the typical dances of Colombia.
Instruments
If the music involves the use of a Chirimia which is popular in the north coast, specifically in el Chocó: Tambora drum, Cununo hembra drum, Cununo macho drum, and a clarinet are used. This grouping can also include a euphonium that in some cases replaces or accompanies a saxophone.
If it involves a group of Marimba which is popular in the south of the region, specifically south of el Chocó, Valle del Cauca, Cauca, and Nariño: the marimba of chonta, the cununos hembra and macho, guasá, and the bass drum.
Dance Style
Currulao is the most popular dance style for many Afro-Colombian communities along the Pacific coast. It has characteristics that summarize the African influences brought in during the colonial period by miners in the basins of the rivers of the occident of the territory. In practice, it is possible to observe references of a sacramental rite of ancestral strength and magic in currulao.
Currulao is a dance that involves loose pairs, with themes of love and nature. The movements of the dancers are agile and vigorous. For the male partner, they use grand movements of strength, without unbalancing the harmony of the dance. The woman, on the other hand, dances in a calm manner while their partner looks to seduce her with flirts, kicks, flexes, fans, and swishing movements with their handkerchief. The choreography develops basically in two simultaneous actions: one of circular rotation and another of a direct movement, forming small circles, that configure into an eight. The figures that predominate are the confrontation in groups, advances and retreats in sequence, intersecting of the dancers, twists, jumps, and movements with the handkerchief.
The dance acquires big plastic beauty by means of the concretion of several elements, like the slenderness of men and women, the ritual seriousness of the faces, the game with the handkerchieves and the grace of the attitudes, that are reinforced with gesticulations and twists. In terms of dance pattern, the currulao has varied regional modifications, notably from the berejú, patacoré, juga, bámbara negra, caderona, and pango people.
References
Category:Colombian styles of dance | wikipedia |
Adding 3 electron spins
I've learned how to add two 1/2-spins, which you can do with C-G-coefficients. There are 4 states (one singlet, three triplet states). States are symmetric or antisymmetric and the quantum numbers needed are total spin and total z-component.
But how do you add three 1/2-spins? It should yield 8 different eigenstates. Which quantum numbers do you need to characterise the 8 states?
It is not as easy as using C-G-coefficients and the usual quantum numbers as for the total momentum the doubly degenerate 1/2 state and quadruple degenerate 3/2 state can describe only 6 or the 8 states. You will need an additional quantum number for the degeneracy.
So how do you get the result?
(I actually tried out myself with a large 8x8 matrix. The total spin 1/2 is each doubly degenerate. For the additional quantum number I chose the cyclic permutation. Spin 1/2 states are neither symmetric nor antisymmetric. But what is the usual way to derive this?)
EDIT: For reference I'm adding my results for up to 4 spins from some time ago:
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/5vMqS.png)
If you recall the basics of quantum mechanics with matrices it is actually a straightforward matrix diagonalization and requires no specialized knowledge. However, you still need to find an additional operator which breaks degeneracy. I chose the cyclic permutation, which seems to do the job. Please refer to the below answer, since I haven't checked all details.
I looked in [Edmonds](http://books.google.co.uk/books/about/Angular_Momentum_in_Quantum_Mechanics.html?id=0BSOg0oHhZ0C), which is usually the standard reference, and he doesn't mention any standard approach at breaking the degeneracy.
You need two linearly independent $s=1/2,\,m=1/2$ solutions, and you can get three different solutions by first coupling one of the three different pairs to the singlet $s=0$ state and then adding an up state. This yields the three vectors $\newcommand{\ket}[1]{\left|#1\right\rangle}$
$$\ket{\psi\_1}={1\over\sqrt{2}}\left(\ket{\uparrow\uparrow\downarrow}-\ket{\uparrow\downarrow\uparrow}\right),$$
$$\ket{\psi\_2}={1\over\sqrt{2}}\left(\ket{\downarrow\uparrow\uparrow}-\ket{\uparrow\uparrow\downarrow}\right),$$
$$\ket{\psi\_3}={1\over\sqrt{2}}\left(\ket{\uparrow\downarrow\uparrow}-\ket{\downarrow\uparrow\uparrow}\right),$$
which add to zero so only two are linearly independent.
Edmonds shows, in particular, that there is a unitary transformation linking any of the three representations linked to the three vectors above (which is of course no surprise) and that this unitary transformation is independent of spatial orientation (which is not automatic but by the Wigner-Eckart theorem ought to happen). He then goes on to define appropriate invariant transformation coefficients (the [Wigner $6j$ symbols](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/6-j_symbol)) and spends a good deal of time exploring them, but he doesn't say how to (canonically) break the degeneracy.
If it's a basis you want, then take any two of the three above. If you need (like you should!) an orthonormal basis, then you can take linear combinations like
$$\ket{\psi\_{23}}={1\over\sqrt{6}}\left(\ket{\uparrow\uparrow\downarrow}-2\ket{\downarrow\uparrow\uparrow}+\ket{\uparrow\downarrow\uparrow}\right)$$
which obeys $\langle\psi\_1|\psi\_{23}\rangle=0$.
However, I don't think there is any way to treat the problem symmetrically in the three electrons. I had a quick go and I think one can prove there are no linear combinations of the three states that are symmetric or antisymmetric w.r.t. all three electron exchanges.
One way to see this is noting that you have three linearly dependent, unit-norm vectors that span a two-dimensional vector space and sum to zero. This is like having three unit vectors on a plane, symmetrically arranged at $120^\circ$ to each other. (The analogy is precise: the Gram matrices, $G\_{ij}=\langle\psi\_i|\psi\_j\rangle=-\frac12+\frac32\delta\_{ij}$, coincide, and these encode all the geometrical information about any set of vectors - see [problem 8.5 in these notes by F. Jones at Rice](http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~fjones/chap8.pdf).) There is then no way to choose a basis for the plane that is symmetric in the three "electron" exchanges, i.e. one whose symmetry group is the same as the three original vectors, including all three reflections.
On the other hand, there are two approaches to this problem that do retain some of the exchange symmetry. One is to form an electron-exchange invariant resolution of the identity, of the form
$$
\frac{2}{3}\sum\_{j=1}^3\ket{\psi\_j}\langle\psi\_j|=1|\_{S={1\over2},m= +{1\over2}} $$
This also holds for the three vectors in the plane and expresses the fact that they form a [tight vector space frame](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frame_of_a_vector_space) for $\mathbb{R}^2$. This is also a consequence of [Schur's lemma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schur's_lemma), as both vector spaces carry irreducible representations of the exchange group of three electrons; the sum above is the Haar integral over the orbit of any one state and commutes with all matrices in the representation.
---
The other approach is due to the OP, who provided [this image](https://i.stack.imgur.com/5erz7.png) (with slight errors), and which I'll write in full here for completeness. An alternative basis for the plane, which does play well with the electron exchange group - though not as symmetric as one might wish - is to use a complex-valued basis (which is of course perfectly all right) and which corresponds to the circular polarization basis if we think of the plane as the [Jones vectors](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jones_calculus) for the polarization of an EM wave. In this analogy, the vectors in the image represent polarizations about those directions. Circular polarization is then invariant - up to a phase - under rotations, but individual electron exchange reflections will flip left$\leftrightarrow$right circular polarizations.
To cut the waffle, the trick in the plane is to take as basis vectors
$$
\mathbf{e}\_L=\begin{pmatrix}1\\i\end{pmatrix}
=\frac23\sum\_{j=1}^3 e^{\frac{2\pi i}{3}(j-1)}v\_j
\text{ and }
\mathbf{e}\_R=\begin{pmatrix}1\\-i\end{pmatrix}
=\frac23\sum\_{j=1}^3 e^{-\frac{2\pi i}{3}(j-1)}v\_j.
$$
These are taken to each other, up to a phase, by the reflections, and to themselves up to a phase by the rotations.
Similarly, for the three electrons you can take the combinations
$$
|\psi\_+\rangle
=\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}} \left[\ket{\uparrow\uparrow\downarrow}+e^{2\pi i/3}\ket{\uparrow\downarrow\uparrow}+e^{-2\pi i/3}\ket{\downarrow\uparrow\uparrow}\right]
=\frac{\sqrt{2}}{3}e^{-i\pi/6}\sum\_{j=1}^3e^{-\frac{2\pi i}{3}(j-1)}|\psi\_j\rangle
$$
and
$$
|\psi\_-\rangle
=\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}} \left[\ket{\uparrow\uparrow\downarrow}+e^{-2\pi i/3}\ket{\uparrow\downarrow\uparrow}+e^{2\pi i/3}\ket{\downarrow\uparrow\uparrow}\right]
=\frac{\sqrt{2}}{3}e^{+i\pi/6}\sum\_{j=1}^3e^{+\frac{2\pi i}{3}(j-1)}|\psi\_j\rangle
$$
which are eigenvectors of the cyclic permutations with eigenvalue $e^{\pm 2\pi i/3}$, and for which the individual exchanges act as
$$P\_{12}|\psi\_+\rangle=|\psi\_-\rangle,
\ P\_{23}|\psi\_+\rangle=e^{\frac{2\pi i}{3}}|\psi\_-\rangle,
\text{ and }P\_{31}|\psi\_+\rangle=e^{\frac{-2\pi i}{3}}|\psi\_-\rangle
.
$$
So, in conclusion: this method is not perfect, as it does not give a way to lift the degenerate subspace into two distinct subspaces which are invariant under the full electron exchange group, and which therefore carry separate representations of it. However, it does give a basis that's got a definite action under the exchange group. I would be interested to know what the formal analysis of this action is, and how this generalizes to more than three spins. Maybe for another time!
$\newcommand{\Ket}[1]{\left|#1\right>}$You can build them just from the highest one, $\Ket{\frac{1}{2}\frac{1}{2}\frac{1}{2}}$, using the lowering operator $S\_{-}=S\_{1,-}+S\_{2,-}+S\_{3,-}$. Now remember that each operator in this sum acts only on it's respective space of states. Also, it gets messy with the numerical coefficients, but remember, after each step you can check to see if the norm is 1. Lets do one together.
$$
\begin{align}
S\_{-}\Ket{\frac{3}{2},\frac{3}{2}}
&=
%\sqrt{\left(\frac{3}{2}+\frac{3}{2}\right)\left(\frac{3}{2}-\frac{3}{2}+1\right)}
\sqrt3
\hbar\Ket{\frac{3}{2},\frac{1}{2}}
\tag A
\\
(S\_{1,-}+S\_{2,-}+S\_{3,-})\Ket{\frac{1}{2};\frac{1}{2};\frac{1}{2}}
&=
%\sqrt{\left(\frac{1}{2}+\frac{1}{2}\right)\left(\frac{1}{2}-\frac{1}{2}+1\right)}
\hbar\left(\Ket{{-\frac{1}{2}}\frac{1}{2}\frac{1}{2}}+\Ket{\frac{1}{2}{-\frac{1}{2}}\frac{1}{2}}+\Ket{\frac{1}{2}\frac{1}{2}{-\frac{1}{2}}}\right)
\tag B
\end{align}
$$
The numerical factor out front comes from the lowering operator,
$$
S\_\pm\Ket{s,m} = \hbar \sqrt{ s(s+1) - m(m\pm1) } \Ket{s, m\pm1}
$$
which is what terminates the series if you try to raise or lower beyond $|m|=s$.
You can do this a couple more times to to get the other $3/2$ ones. But after this first one, you can build a $\Ket{\frac{1}{2}\frac{1}{2}}$ one thats perpendicular to the other ones. I think you can just use Gram-Schmidt, or eye-ball it. Then with the $\Ket{\frac{1}{2}\frac{1}{2}}$ you just use the lowering operator some more.
I did this for learning a little while back, I hope this helps/is correct.
I don't understand the answers given, nor the reference to an 8x8 matrix. When combing 3 doublets (aka spin 1/2), the guiding principle is that
$$2 \times 2 \times 2 = 4 + 2 + 2.$$
That is, the tensor product can be decomposed into a tensor sum
of composite states that are a quartet (spin 3/2) and 2 doublets (spin 1/2).
The quartet is symmetric under interchange and is (up to normalization):
\begin{align}
|3/2, 3/2⟩ & = |↑↑↑⟩\\
|3/2, 1/2⟩ & = \frac{|↑↑↓⟩+|↑↓↑⟩+|↓↑↑⟩}{\sqrt{3}}\\
|3/2,-1/2⟩ & = \frac{|↓↓↑⟩+|↓↑↓⟩+|↑↓↓⟩}{\sqrt{3}}\\
|3/2,-3/2⟩ & = |↓↓↓⟩
\end{align}
The two doublets are combinations of:
\begin{align}
|↑⟩(|↑↓⟩-|↓↑⟩) & =|↑↑↓⟩-|↑↓↑⟩,\\
|↓⟩(|↑↓⟩-|↓↑⟩) & =|↓↑↓⟩-|↓↓↑⟩
\end{align}
and
\begin{align}
(|↑↓⟩-|↓↑⟩)|↑⟩ & =|↑↓↑⟩-|↓↑↑⟩,\\
(|↑↓⟩-|↓↑⟩)|↓⟩ & =|↑↓↓⟩-|↓↑↓⟩,
\end{align}
and appear to have mixed symmetry. For example, one doublet is:
\begin{align}
|1/2, 1/2⟩^{(1)} & = \frac{|↑↑↓⟩+|↑↓↑⟩-2|↓↑↑⟩}{\sqrt{6}},\\
|1/2,-1/2⟩^{(1)} & = \frac{|↓↓↑⟩+|↑↓↓⟩-2|↑↓↓⟩}{\sqrt{6}}
\end{align}
and an orthogonal combination is
\begin{align}
|1/2, 1/2⟩^{(2)} & = \frac{2|↑↑↓⟩-|↑↓↑⟩-|↓↑↑⟩}{\sqrt{6}},\\
|1/2,-1/2⟩^{(2)} & = \frac{2|↓↓↑⟩-|↑↓↓⟩-|↑↓↓⟩}{\sqrt{6}}.
\end{align}
Any other combination with a zero spin-3/2 component is a linear combination of these two.
---
The $8 \times 8$ matrix indicates a misunderstanding of the problem: while we can make product states where we know each particles spin-there by justifying an $8 \times 8$ operator, those states are not eigenstates of total angular momentum, and hence we don't want to consider them.
We consider the combinations that are eigenstates of total angular momentum, and the way to find them is as the first answer stated: pair the first and second spin into a spin 1 triplet and a spin 0 singlet and then, using Clebsch-Gordan coefficients, take their products with a doublet:
\begin{align}
\text{spin-1 times spin 1/2: } & 3 \times 2 = 4 + 2\\
\text{spin-0 times spin 1/2: } & 1 \times 2 = 2
\end{align}
(which is how the doublets broke down explicitly, as shown above).
So recapping, given the product of 3 doublets, break it down pairwise:
\begin{align}
2 \times 2 \times 2 & = (2 \times 2) \times 2 \\
(2 \times 2) \times 2 & = (3 + 1) \times 2 \\
(3 + 1) \times 2 & = (3 \times 2) + (1 \times 2) \\
(3 \times 2) + (1 \times 2) & = (4 + 2) + (2) = 4 + 2 + 2
\end{align}
---
Also: the desire for symmetry is great, but in general only the extremal case $|J,J⟩$ is symmetric, and the other states have mixed symmetry. There may or may not be an antisymmetric case. See [the Wikipedia article on Young tableaux](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Young_tableau#Dimension_of_a_representation) for more on that.
$\newcommand{\rket}[1]{\left|#1\right>}%
\renewcommand{\ket}{\rket}%
\newcommand{\up}{\uparrow}\newcommand{\dn}{\downarrow}%
$This answer is in the same spirit as the answer by kηives ("you figure it out from the ladder operators"), but more explicit about breaking the degeneracy between the two spin-half combinations. The trick is to notice that both of the spin-3/2 states in kηive's answer can be written with the first two spins combined in a spin-one triplet:
$$
\begin{alignat}2
\rket{\frac32, +\frac32} &= \rket{\up\up\up}
&&= \ket{\up\up}\ket{\up}
= \ket{1,1} \ket\up
\\
\sqrt3\rket{\frac32, +\frac12} &= \rket{\dn\up\up} +\rket{\up\dn\up} +\rket{\up\up\dn}
&&= \sqrt2\left(\frac{ \ket{\up\dn} + \rket{\dn\up} }{\sqrt2}\right)\rket\up + \rket{\up\up}\rket\dn
\\&&&= \sqrt2\rket{1,0}\rket\up + \rket{1,1}\rket\dn
\end{alignat}
$$
These are the same linear combinations as with the ordinary Clebsch-Gordan coefficients for spin-one with spin-half, and suggests that one of the spin-half combinations should be
$$
\begin{alignat}3
\sqrt3\rket{\frac12,+\frac12}\_\text{triplet}
&= \rket{1,0}\rket\up - \sqrt2\ket{1,1}\ket\dn
\\&= \left(\frac1{\sqrt2}\ket{\up\dn\up} + \frac1{\sqrt2}\ket{\dn\up\up}\right)
-\sqrt2\ket{\up\up\dn}
\end{alignat}
$$
You can check that this "triplet" combination is orthogonal to the others and gets killed by the raising operator,
$$
S\_+\ket{s,m} = \hbar\sqrt{s(s+1) - m(m+1)} \ket{s, m+1},
$$
regardless of whether you use the spin-half raising operator on the individual $\ket\dn$ or the spin-one raising operator $S\_+\ket{1,0}=\hbar\sqrt2\ket{1,1}$ on the linear combination.
The remaining state that we haven't yet used for the first two particles is the singlet,
$$
\begin{align}
\rket{\frac12,+\frac12}\_\text{singlet}
&= \ket{0,0}\ket\up = \frac1{\sqrt2}\ket{\dn\up\up} - \frac1{\sqrt2}\ket{\up\dn\up}
\end{align}
$$
which gets killed by the raising operator as well.
Of course you can construct all the states with negative $m$ using the lowering operator.
The four states with total spin $\hbar/2$ have mixed symmetry under exchange (but definite symmetry under exchange of the first two particles). There isn't a completely antisymmetric state to be constructed out of three two-state particles, but you could construct a completely mixed-symmetry state with definite spin by taking a linear combination of my "singlet" and "triplet" states.
I only show how to obtain the C-G coefficients for the two states $|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_1$ and $|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_2$.
First, it is easy to see that $|\frac{3}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle=\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}}(|-++\rangle+|+-+\rangle+|++-\rangle)$.
By writing $|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_i=\alpha\_i|-++\rangle+\beta\_i|+-+\rangle+\gamma\_i|++-\rangle$ ($i=1,2$), then the matrix
$U=\left(
\begin{array}{ccc}
\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}} & \alpha\_1 & \alpha\_2 \\
\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}} & \beta\_1 & \beta\_2 \\
\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}} & \gamma\_1 & \gamma\_2 \\
\end{array}
\right)$ should be an orthogonal matrix, due to the normalization of $|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_1$ and $|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_2$, and the fact that the three states with same $m$, $|\frac{3}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle$, $|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_1$, and $|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_2$, should be mutually orthogonal.
We thus have
\begin{eqnarray}
&&\alpha^2\_i+\beta^2\_i+\gamma^2\_i=1,\\
&&\alpha\_i+\beta\_i+\gamma\_i=0,\\
&&\alpha\_1\alpha\_2+\beta\_1\beta\_2+\gamma\_1\gamma\_2=0
\end{eqnarray}
By eliminating $\gamma\_i$ from the first two equations, we get $ \alpha^2\_i+\alpha\_i\beta\_i+(\beta^2\_i-\frac{1}{2})=0$, which gives $\alpha\_i=\frac{1}{2}(-\beta\_i\pm\sqrt{2-3\beta^2\_i })$. So we have
\begin{eqnarray}
(\alpha\_i,\beta\_i,\gamma\_i)=\left(\frac{1}{2}(-\beta\_i\pm\sqrt{2-3\beta^2\_i }),\beta\_i,\frac{1}{2}(- \beta\_i\mp\sqrt{2-3\beta^2\_i })\right)
\end{eqnarray}
Now we can choose
\begin{eqnarray}
(\alpha\_{1/2},\beta\_{1/2},\gamma\_{1/2})=\left(\frac{1}{2}(-\beta\pm\sqrt{2-3\beta^2 }),\beta,\frac{1}{2}(- \beta\mp\sqrt{2-3\beta^2 })\right)
\end{eqnarray}
so that the orthogonal condition $\alpha\_1\alpha\_2+\beta\_1\beta\_2+\gamma\_1\gamma\_2=0$ gives
\begin{eqnarray}
\frac{1}{4}(\beta^2-2+3\beta^2)+\beta^2+\frac{1}{4}(\beta^2-2+3\beta^2)=0\to3\beta^2-1=0\to\beta=\pm\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}}
\end{eqnarray}
By choosing $\beta=\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}}$, we finally obtain
\begin{eqnarray}
|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_1&=&\frac{1}{2}(1-\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}})|-++\rangle+\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}}|+-+\rangle-\frac{1}{2}(1+\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}})|++-\rangle,\nonumber\\
|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_2&=&\frac{1}{2}(1+\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}})|-++\rangle-\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}}|+-+\rangle-\frac{1}{2}(1-\frac{1}{\sqrt{3}})|++-\rangle.
\end{eqnarray}
Other choices appearing in previous answers do not satisfy the condition $\alpha\_1\alpha\_2+\beta\_1\beta\_2+\gamma\_1\gamma\_2=0$ [for example $(\alpha\_{1/2},\beta\_{1/2},\gamma\_{1/2})=\left(e^{\mp 2\pi i/3},e^{\pm 2\pi i/3},1\right)$ or $(\alpha\_{1},\beta\_{1},\gamma\_{1})=\frac{1}{\sqrt{6}}\left(-2,1,1\right)$ and $(\alpha\_{2},\beta\_{2},\gamma\_{2})=\frac{1}{\sqrt{6}}\left(-1,-1,2\right)$].
---
Another choice of $(\alpha,\beta,\gamma)$ can be found in the following lecture note (P48):
<https://public.lanl.gov/mparis/qmp.pdf>
There,
\begin{eqnarray}
|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_1&=&-\frac{1}{\sqrt{2}}|-++\rangle+\frac{1}{\sqrt{2}}|+-+\rangle,\nonumber\\
|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_2&=&-\frac{1}{\sqrt{6}}|-++\rangle-\frac{1}{\sqrt{6}}|+-+\rangle+\frac{2}{\sqrt{6}}|++-\rangle.
\end{eqnarray}
are chosen. I just noticed that these are already mentioned in Emilio Pisanty's answer above.
This is possible since we have 6 unknowns and only 5 constraints, so the solutions are not unique.
As stated in the above reference, the additional quantum number to resolve the degeneracy is just the permutation operator between spin 1 and spin 2, $P\_{12}$: $P\_{12}|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_{1,2}=\mp |\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_{1,2}$.
It is easy to see that $|\frac{1}{2},\frac{1}{2}\rangle\_{1,2}$ are also eigenstates of $\vec{S}\_1\cdot\vec{S}\_2$, with eigenvalues $-\frac{3}{4}$ and $\frac{1}{4}$, respectively.
Reading over the previous answers, perhaps the answer is simple. We know, in atoms, for example, that it is impossible to have three electrons with the same orbital state. You're question is essentially asking if we have one orbital and we put three electrons into it what state will it be in?
The answer is that, due to Pauli exclusion, all 3 electrons need to be in different spin states if they all want to live in the same orbital state. But there are only 2 states available to the single electron so this is impossible. Hence why the OP and other answers do not find an anti-symmetric subspace within the space of three spin 1/2 particles.
If your single particle Hilbert space has dimension $D$ then it is only possible to have up to $N=D$ indentical Fermions in the system.
We can add 3 electron spins consistently by first adding two spins and subsequently adding the third spin. The state is fully described by three quantum numbers $S\_{(2)}$, $S\_{(3)}$ and $M\_{(3)}$ which I describe below.
The $i$'th spin is described by $|s\_i m\_i \rangle$ with $s\_i=\frac{1}{2}$ and $m\_i \in \{ -\frac{1}{2}, \frac{1}{2} \}$. Since $s\_i$ is fixed, I suppress this quantum number from now on. The kets $| m\_1 m\_2 m\_3 \rangle$ form a basis for the Hilbert space and are eigenkets of the operators $\hat s\_1^z$, $\hat s\_2^z$, $\hat s\_3^z$. We can write any three electron state $| \psi \rangle$ in this basis $\langle m\_1m\_2m\_3|\psi \rangle$. Lets define
\begin{align}
\hat S\_{(2)} =
\begin{pmatrix}
\hat s\_1^x + \hat s\_2^x \\
\hat s\_1^y + \hat s\_2^y \\
\hat s\_1^z + \hat s\_2^z
\end{pmatrix}
\quad \text{and} \quad
\hat S^z\_{(2)} = \hat s\_1^z + \hat s\_2^z.
\end{align}
We could also use eigenkets of $\hat S\_{(2)}^2$, $\hat S\_{(2)}^z$ and $\hat s\_3^z$ as a basis: $|S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 \rangle$. In this basis, the identity operator is given by
\begin{align}
\hat I = \sum\_{S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3} | S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 \rangle \langle S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 |
\end{align}
We transform from one basis to the other by inserting the identity:
\begin{align}
\langle m\_1m\_2m\_3| \psi \rangle
&= \sum\_{S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m'\_3} \langle m\_1m\_2m\_3 | S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m'\_3 \rangle \langle S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m'\_3 |\psi \rangle \\
&= \sum\_{S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)}} \langle m\_1m\_2m\_3 | S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 \rangle \langle S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 |\psi \rangle
\end{align}
At this point we have successfully added the first and second spin. The coefficients $$\langle m\_1m\_2m\_3 | S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 \rangle = \langle m\_1m\_2 | S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} \rangle$$ from the above equation are simply the Clebsch-Gordan coefficients. Next we couple $S\_{(2)}$ with the third spin $s\_3$. We define two new operators:
\begin{align}
\hat S\_{(3)} =
\begin{pmatrix}
\hat s\_1^x + \hat s\_2^x + \hat s\_3^x \\
\hat s\_1^y + \hat s\_2^y + \hat s\_3^y\\
\hat s\_1^z + \hat s\_2^z + \hat s\_3^z
\end{pmatrix}
\quad \text{and} \quad
\hat S^z\_{(3)} = \hat s\_1^z + \hat s\_2^z + \hat s\_3^z.
\end{align}
and note that eigenkets of $\hat S\_{(2)}^2$, $\hat S\_{(3)}^2$ and $\hat S\_{(2)}^z$ form a basis: $| S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} \rangle$. In this basis the identity operator is given by,
\begin{align}
\hat I = \sum\_{S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)}} | S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} \rangle \langle S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} |
\end{align}
We transform into this basis by inserting the identity operator,
\begin{align}
& \langle m\_1m\_2m\_3| \psi \rangle \\
&= \sum\_{S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)}} \sum\_{S\_{(2)}'S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)}} \langle m\_1m\_2m\_3 | S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 \rangle \langle S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 | S'\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} \rangle \langle S'\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} |\psi \rangle \\
&= \sum\_{S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)}} \sum\_{S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)}} \langle m\_1m\_2m\_3 | S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 \rangle \langle S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 | S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} \rangle \langle S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} |\psi \rangle.
\end{align}
Similarly to before, the coefficients $$\langle S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 | S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} \rangle = \langle M\_{(2)} m\_3 | S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} \rangle$$ are the Clebsch-Gordan coefficients. These calculations demonstrate that a state is fully described by the three quantum numbers $S\_{(2)}$, $S\_{(3)}$ and $M\_{(3)}$. If you are interested in what such a state looks like, we could choose $| \psi \rangle = | S\_{(2)}S\_{(3)}M\_{(3)} \rangle$. Then we have,
\begin{align}
\langle m\_1m\_2m\_3| S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} \rangle
&= \sum\_{S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)}} \langle m\_1m\_2m\_3 | S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 \rangle \langle S\_{(2)} M\_{(2)} m\_3 | S\_{(2)} S\_{(3)} M\_{(3)} \rangle
\end{align}
Inserting the Clebsch-Gordan coefficients, we recover the states from your tabular. This method is straight forward to generalize for more than 3 spins.
| stackexchange/physics |
Melenchon: the leftist aiming for 'pharaoh' Macron
Emmanuel MacronPolitics
Jean Luc Melanchon won a seat in the national assembly in June. Photo: Bertand Langlois/AFP
After decades of railing against the French establishment, hard-left firebrand Jean-Luc Melenchon suddenly finds himself the closest thing the country has to a leader of the opposition.
But his curmudgeonly image belies a charisma that helped him win a surge in support in this year's presidential election, finishing fourth in the vote that brought Emmanuel Macron to power.
Melenchon went on to win a seat in the national assembly in June, leading the 17 MPs from his France Unbowed party into parliament with raised fists and shouts of "Resistance!"
Since then, despite leading only the fifth-biggest party in parliament, he has carved out a position as the main voice of opposition to Macron's pro-business agenda, blasting his labour reforms as a "social welfare coup
d'etat".
"We represent the alternative to the world that you represent," he told Prime Minister Edouard Philippe after hearing the new government set out its policy plans.
The mainstream Socialists and rightwing Republicans are both leaderless and adrift after Macron's centrists won a landslide – leaving Melenchon with a platform he has wasted no time in using.
The high-tax, high-spend leftist is set to lead a major anti-government protest Saturday, calling on supporters to "lash" Paris.
He has accused "Macron the pharaoh" of monarchical leanings, describing the ex-investment banker – with horror – as Britain's New Labour prime minister Tony Blair and arch-conservative predecessor Margaret Thatcher "rolled into one".
'Power to the people'
Born in Morocco, Melenchon studied philosophy and was a Trotskyist student activist before joining the Socialists at 25 and becoming the youngest member of the Senate in 1986.
He served as vocational education minister under Socialist premier Lionel Jospin from 2000 to 2002.
But in 2008, Melenchon fell out with party leader Francois Hollande and quit the Socialists, saying "our country needs another voice on the left".
The divorced father-of-one launched his first presidential campaign four years later, claiming a modest 11 percent at the head of the Left Party.
But he boosted that to 19 percent this year under his new France Unbowed brand, tapping into widespread disillusionment with the political class and putting in strong debate performances.
He likes to stress that he was "just 600,000" votes away from qualifying for the run-off round of the presidential election – which could have seen him go on to win the presidency.
A passionate orator known for speaking without notes, Melenchon took far-right leader Marine Le Pen to task throughout the campaign, challenging her hard line on immigration.
And he ran a tech-savvy campaign, projecting holograms of himself to simultaneous rallies in multiple cities and exploiting his 1.4 million-strong Twitter following.
Melenchon vowed to return "power to the people", promising a revamped European Union and a €100 billion ($107 billion) stimulus package.
An anti-imperialist admirer of Venezuela's late socialist leader Hugo Chavez, he has been loath to criticise its current government, accused by international powers of dismantling democracy.
Canny operator
After 30 years as a canny political operative, some have suggested his current prominent positioning is the result of astute manoeuvring as he benefits from disarray in the Socialist party.
He has also spotted a new opportunity in the infighting rocking Le Pen's National Front as it, too, struggles to decide on a direction after this year's election defeats.
He has urged those disillusioned with mainstream politics and globalisation to switch over from Le Pen's far-right to his hard-left, saying those who are "angry but not fascists" are welcome.
In the meantime, whether it is deploring cuts to subsidised jobs or demanding a parliamentary inquiry into poor preparations for Hurricane Irma, he seems determined to doggedly challenge Macron's agenda.
"This is where the opposing power is," wrote Alain Duhamel in the newspaper Liberation this week. "This is where the counter-presidency is."
By Katy Lee
France's Taubira hopes to rally divided left against Macron
Prosecutors want rape case dropped against French Interior Minister
Mosque closures: What powers does the French government have?
French President Emmanuel Macron announces new crime-fighting plans
French presidential runner Pécresse to 'power wash' crime-hit areas
France bans extreme-right group after rally violence
Macron causes stir as he vows to 'piss off' France's unvaccinated
France sets new daily Covid case record with over 270,000 infections
French minster orders closure of Cannes mosque over anti-Semitic remarks
German pressure-hose maker asks French politicians to stop using its name | slim_pajama |
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha 1. Nanoha x Fate
**Christmas Party**
**By: Vicatron**
**Chapter 1**
A/N: This is a sequal to my last story 'Christmas Eve Dinner', I already have the first two chapters done and I plan on it being five or six chapters long. I've had this story idea for months and have been writting a sentence or two about every week, with large spaces of doing nothing inbetween them. Needless to say I keep forgetting what I write and have to reread it, so yeah. I predict this story will be finished next year with no determined date on when I upload the next chapter. Hopefully I don't forget about it and it never gets finished because the worst thing for me is I read a story online and find out it hasn't been updated in years. If you want to you can nag at me to hurry the story but I doubt it will help much. Finally I do not own Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and what not. Hope I didn't forget anything, if I did oh well.
The bed was warm, no doubt about that. So the last thing Fate wanted to do was leave it, she felt like the happiest women alive. She is married to the love of her life with a wonderful daughter, and now a retired Enforcer and about to be a certain combat instructor's assistant. While she did love her job, she loved her family more, but she did promise Hayate that she would help if the need arises.
She snuggled up into the red walnut colored hair, its sweet strawberry scent soothing her back to sleep. But a shift in the bed and the disappearance of her body pillow made Fate open her eyes.
"Oh, did I wake you Fate? I'm going to start making breakfast, so you can go back to sleep if you want."
Fate, even though groggy, had a small frown, "But I want my body pillow back." The whiney tone of Fate's voice amused Nanoha.
"So I'm a body pillow am I?" She asked her wife teasingly. To which Fate nodded her head. Nanoha giggled before she replied, "How about you use this one instead?" She lifted Vivio, who was previously clinging to Fate's back, and placed her in front of Fate where she reattached to Fate still fast asleep.
"Not as good as my previous, but this body pillow will do." She answered kissing her daughter on the top of her head.
"While you rest, I'll start breakfast. I'll wake you when it's done." She informed Fate before kissing her and Vivio.
While Nanoha would have loved staying in bed with the two she loved most, she knew that she would need to get up not only to prepare breakfast but to finish the food for the party later. As she gathered the ingredients for omelets as she imagined the party that would start in a few hours.
Lindy was to give her parents a lift from Earth along with Suzuka and Alisa. _It had been four months since she last saw them, it was durring her parent's anniversary so she decided to surprise them with a gift. Since Fate was busy she brought Vivio along with her, who loved to be spoiled by her grandparents, she slept through the flight but woke up upon arrival. When she arrived at her old home only her brother and sister were there so after about two minutes Nanoha was already being pestered by her sister, Miyuki, to play with Vivio. Her brother, Kyouya, advised Nanoha to visit Suzuka and Alisa since she didn't return to Earth often and assured her it would be fine and he would watch Vivio while she was out._
_Suzuka still lived in her family's mansion and was the co owner and manager to Alisa's restaurant, it wasn't large but had a friendly atmosphere. It reminded Nanoha of the diners she went to when she was younger, she enjoyed her visit to her friends' restaurant, there were few diners in Mid Chicila that had decent food. Finishing her light lunch she asked to see the waitress's manager, the young waitress asked if anything was wrong, to which Nanoha informed that there wasn't._
_She was hesitant to retrieve her manager, either she was scared of Alisa, which was reasonable considering how often she yelled when Nanoha last saw her, or feared she did something wrong. After many attempts to discourage the customer, and Nanoha's determined yet friendly tone, she gave in and decided to retrieve her manager._
_When Nanoha spotted Alisa exiting from the back of the restaurant her face was in a frown, angry to be disturbed and irritated that she would most likely have to deal with a complaint. But as soon as she laid her eyes on Nanoha she smiled yelling her name and hugging her. Alisa's loud voice caught many stares from those dining but she didn't care, it had been months since she saw one of her best friends._
_"Nanoha, I didn't know you were coming back to Japan! How are you?" She asked excitedly glad to see her again. _
_"I'm great. You look like you just woke up though Alisa." Nanoha commented smiling at how wrinkled her clothes were. _
_"Heh heh, one second Suzuka is in the back, let me get her so we can catch up." Alisa replied evading the question and heading back to retrieve her co manager._
_Eventually Alisa returned with Suzuka, Nanoha noticed that she too appeared to have just gotten up and got dress. "Nanoha it's good to see you, is Fate with you today?" Suzuka asked. _
_"No, Fate is on a mission, but I brought Vivio with me, she's being watch by Kyouya and Miyuki. If you want I can bring her over if you're not too busy."_
_"That would be great, wouldn't it Alisa?" commented Suzuka. _
_"Yeah, it seems she grow bigger each time we see her. How is she doing anyway?" Alisa asked her favorite mage. _
_"She's doing great, she even made a new friend about a month ago. They're almost inseparable." Nanoha smiled talking about her daughter._
_"So what do owe for this surprise visit Nanoha?" Suzuka asked. _
_"Oh, it's my parents' anniversary, but they're out so I decided to drop in." Nanoha answered. _
_"Oh that's what I forgot." Suzuka exclaimed. "When you see then give them this, is a coupon for two free meals." See told Nanoha as she pulled an envelope out._
_Conversation continued for almost half an hour before Nanoha decided to return. It was about noon so she doubted her parents would be back so soon, knowing that she headed downtown to window shop. How she missed the walks around town when she was younger here with Fate, the walks during winter when the snowfall was illuminated by the rays from the moon._
_Just the thought of her wife made time pass faster, to Nanoha one minute it was ten past noon, the next it was half till two. She hurried home to find her parents entertaining Vivio with smiles on everyone's faces. "Nanoha, it's good to see you." Momoko commented at Nanoha's entrance._
_"It's good to see you to mom, dad." She replied hugging her mother then father. "Here's a coupon from Suzuka and Alisa, it's good for two free meals." she informed handing over the coupon. _
_"We'll be sure to thank them later, won't we Shiro."_
_"Of course, how about we go there for dinner to thank them?" He asked his wife. _
_"That's a great idea, would you like to join us Nanoha?" She asked her daughter. "Sorry, but I need to back before it's tomorrow and the time zones here and there are different, so we can only stay for about another one and a half hours."_
_So for the next hour and a half they reminisced about their lives until it was time for Nanoha to depart, after the goodbyes and hugs Nanoha was given a box of the café's pastries for Vivio, Fate and Herself. There she thanked her mother and was then transferred to a TSAB ship along with Vivio in the blink of an eye._
Nanoha's memory ended there as she finish Vivio's omelet, now the that their omelets were completed it was time to wake up her wife and the other "body pillow" as Fate called her this morning. Just as she expected Fate was back to sleep, it was a shame to wake up Fate when she looked so peaceful, but today was a busy day and she knew it. So she pulled the covers of both of them and gave them a wakeup call.
"Breakfast time." Nanoha sang out, getting the two figures in the bed to sir. Fate stretched her arms above her head then opened her eyes. First staring at Nanoha then at Vivio, who slowly waking up and wiping the drowsiness out of her eyes, then back to her wife, a smile on Fate's face the whole time. "Good morning beautiful."
"Morning Fate, it's time for breakfast. You too Vivio." Vivio slowly rose up in the bed trying to figure out where she was until it hit her.
"It's Christmas!" She exclaimed at the realization. "Can I open my presents? Can I?" she asked her mothers.
"After breakfast Vivio." Fate answered her daughter getting up so she could give her wife a morning kiss.
"OK!" was the only reply before she shot down the stairs to the dinning table so she could finish her breakfast as soon as possible.
"Well someone is excited." Nanoha commented with alight giggle.
"It is Christmas, so what is for breakfast beautiful?" Fate asked.
"Only an omelet Fate. After all I'm sure there will be plenty of food with every coming over. I know for a fact that my parents are bringing three cakes over as well as pastries." Nanoha informed her while walking down the stairs with Fate in tow, she couldn't wait for the day to get going.
2. Alisa x Suzuka
**Christmas Party**
**By: Vicatron**
**Chapter 2**
"Got all of the presents Suzuka?"
Suzuka recounted the presents in the multiple bags silently before replying. "Yes, and do you have all our belongings Alisa?" She asked in return.
"Of course I do, I double checked last night. Now let's get to the café, we should be leaving soon and we can't be late now can we."
"Right, let's go!" Suzuka exclaimed ready to see her friends. The walk to the Takamachi's café was not long, but their anticipation made it seem all the longer. When they arrived, just as they expected, everyone was ready to depart.
"Good morning you two, Lindy just arrived a minute ago. So if you are ready we can go anytime." Momoko informed both girls.
"We're ready to go aren't we Suzuka?" Alisa asked.
"Of course." Suzuka replied happily.
It was then that Lindy walked into the room. "It's good to see you two again, the last time I saw both of you it was at Nanoha's and Fate's wedding. How are you?" Lindy asked them, remembering them from back when Fate entered school alongside with Nanoha, they grew since then, emotionally, maturely and physically.
"We're well, thanks for asking." Suzuka answered.
"Well it seems we're all ready, so why don't we depart. We wouldn't want to keep everyone waiting." Lindy informed, to which everyone nodded and were then transported to the Arthra where Lindy's son and daughter in law waited.
"Good morning everyone!" Amy exclaimed when they materialized on deck, where everyone replied with their own greeting.
"So, how long will it wake to reach Mid?" Suzuka asked hoping either Amy or Lindy would answer.
"Ah, that's right none of you has ever been on a TSAB ship have you? Follow me and I'll show you around. Oh, and to answer your question we'll be there in one and a half hours." Amy replied to her moving her hand in a 'follow' notion.
When they arrived at the bridge they awed at the sight before them. Out of the windows were not the black emptiness of space and the dots of stars that they expected, but instead it was a fury of colors ranging most of the color spectrum. Amy only smiled as she watched their faces, they looked like every other recruit that had gotten on a ship for the first time, much like herself when she was a recruit.
"Shall I show you where to set your bags for the trip?" Lindy asked the group snapping them back to reality.
Momoko was first to react, "Yes please." Followed be the nods from the rest of the group. For the rest of the trip Lindy talked with the Takamachis in the mess hall while Alisa and Suzuka talked to Amy and her husband on the bridge. One and a half hour passed in what seemed like ten minutes as they chatted, reminiscing on the past and ideas on the future.
Upon arrival at Mid Lindy wished the crew a happy holidays before everyone left for their leave. It didn't take long to reach Nanoha's house but when they arrived they were greeted by Signum, frown on her face, antlers on head and both unison devices sitting near the top of them.
With large smiles they greeted the new arrivals "Welcome to the party, shoes off and presents upstairs in the host's room." Then they promptly dropped off the antlers and flew away leaving Signum shaking her head.
"They're too young for eggnog."
Scanning the new arrivals from her spot buried in the snow she smiled, another victim. She raised from her frozen tomb, snowballs in hand, and with pinpoint accuracy nailed two of them right in the back of the neck causing the snow to fall into their shirts.
"Ahhh, HAYATE! Come back here!" Alisa yelled as she gave chase to the now fleeing Commander. "Let's see how you like it! Quit running you… you..."
"'You' what Alisa." Hayate asked laughing like a little child. "You going to put snow in my clothes? My barrier jacket keeps me warm." She teased before being tripped and falling face first into the snow allowing Alisa to catch her, put her in a head lock and rub her fist into her skull as hard as she could.
"No fair Suzuka, Alisa, no teaming up on me." Hayate whined struggling to escape Alisa's wrath and failing miserably.
"Come on now girls, it's Christmas." Lindy voiced out, "Alisa, Suzuka you should change your shirts before you get a cold. Hayate you had your fun, now go inside and enjoy yourself while behaving yourself."
"Yes ma'am." Responded Hayate sadly, before speaking to herself. "What could I do inside to get some laughs?"
Signum held the door open alowing Lindy, Chrono, Amy, Alisa, Suzuka and the Takamachis in, all of whom removed their shoes as prompted. Alisa and Suzuka offered to carry the gifts upstairs since they had to change in the bathroom anyway.
"Man, those were heavy." Alisa commented as she set down one of the large boxes filled with smaller wrapped boxes, Suzuka following right behind her. "Here, let me." She said grabbing Suzuka's box and setting it on top of the one she just placed down.
Suzuka sighed, "I could have done it you know."
"I know but…" Alisa paused to think of an answer but Suzuka spoke first.
"Come on let's get changed. The bathroom is right here." She opened the door and admitted Alisa before herself. Both removed their shirts and Suzuka searched their bag for a dry set that would hopefully stay dry. But before she found any, a pair of arms encircled her waist and soft lips met her nape. Suzuka moaned, she loved it but, "A…Alisa, not now someone mig-"
But she was cut off as she was spun around and pulled into a loving embrace as their lips crashed together. Her previous train of thought was derailed as her mind was filled with thoughts of Alisa and nothing else.
Unfortunately for them, neither of them locked the door and where interrupted as it opened. "Ah…sorry I didn't know you were in her Alisa, Suzuka. I'll…I'll leave you be." Nanoha mumbled quickly before shutting the door. That effectively reddened their already red cheeks and ended their intimate moment. They quickly put on dry shirts and went to seek out their childhood friend before she got the idea they would be staying in the bathroom.
**Author's Note:** Thanks to all who are read and review, it's surprising how happy a single review can make me, I thank you all for the support. And during the flashback scene in the first chapter, if you haven't guessed by now, Alisa and Suzuka looked like they just got dressed because they were board and it was a slow day with work so they decided to entertain themselves. Tune in next chapter, it will be out...sometime...
3. Einhart x Vivio
**Christmas Party**
**By: Vicatron**
**Chapter 3**
"Hey Suzuka, how've you been?" Hayate asked as she rested her arm on one of her shoulders.
"Better now that we changed our clothes." Alisa answered for them. "Glad to see that you matured." She said sarcastically.
"Same to you." Hayate replied happily. "Herd the two of you got caught in the bathroom. So how long have you been together, and why haven't you told me about it?"
"Where did you hear that?" Suzuka asked as if she was talking about the weather.
Hayate grinned. "From my spies of course." Alisa slapped her on the back of the head. "Fine, sheesh. Agito told me." Hayate answered as she rubbed her head.
"Agito looked a bit tipsy to me." Alisa told Hayate. "She might be drunk."
"Ah, my dear Alisa. If you were a proper mage you woul-" Hayate paused as her mind processed what she just said. "I wonder."
"What is it Hayate?" Suzuka asked with interest.
"Me and Nanoha-" Hayate started.
"Nanoha and I" Alisa corrected.
"Me and Nanoha" Hayate repeated to Alisa's annoyance. "are both great mages and we came from Earth. I wonder if you two have any magical potential."
"Oh, and how would we test this?" Suzuka asked both amused and slightly excited over it.
"That's simple." Hayate answered. "All we need is any device, we could use my Tome of the Night Sky. So how about it?"
Alisa and Suzuka turned to the other, and with a smile they both shrugged. "Sure why not."
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_Ding-Dong_, the bell rang again announcing the arrival of another guest.
"Hello?" Signum greeted as she opened the door. "Ah, welcome to Takamachi's Party. Please come in Stratos."
"Thank you." Einhart said as she took in her surroundings. The decorations littered all over, the large evergreen barely missing the ceiling, all the people and of course the warm atmosphere. It was almost overwhelming.
"If you're looking for Vivio she's out back making a snowman. I'm sure she will be glad to see you." Signum informed, snapping Einhart out of her trance.
"Ah, thank you." She repeated before she left out the front door and went around the house, so not to track snow inside. Upon turning the corner of the house she was greeted with the sight of two girls, and a tall man helping form the snowman.
The first girl, the one she came to see, wore a light pink jacket with a matching knitted hat. The second girl dawned a white jacket and had two braids of her red hair dangling from her head. Finally the man, his body warmed by his grey trench coat, but even so his furry blue ears were exposed to the chilly winter air.
"Ein!" Vivio exclaimed. "Want to help?"
Even if Einhart was not a big fan of winter, spending time with Vivio made it worth being outside in her least favorite season.
"Zafria! Help me move this." Vita ordered as she pushed a large ball of snow half her size towards another even larger ball of snow.
Zafria did as he was instructed, carefully lifting it so it would break apart, and placed it upon the larger compact ball of snow.
"Help me make its head Ein." Vivio said as she started forming a snowball that would eventually become the final sphere needed.
"Alright." Einhart replied happily.
"I'm gonna get the carrot, be right back." Vita announced as she made her way inside leaving the others to complete the preparations of the snowman.
"How are you Einhart?" Zafria asked as he walked over to the two saints. "This will be the first Christmas you spend with others am I right?"
"Um, I'm fine. A bit cold but other than that I'm well. And you're right, this will be my first time I celebrate Christmas with anyone." Einhart replied slightly embarrassed.
"If you don't mind me asking, what did you do before?" Zafria asked.
"I normally trained like any other day. There wasn't anything I…" Einhart pause, her eyes getting that far way look. "Cake… I used to get cake on Eves and have it for Christmas. It was never sweet enough but it was delicious." The smile on her face showed how fond she was of the memory, one of the few times during the year she indulged herself.
"Don't worry Ein." Vivio butted in. "We'll make this the best Christmas you ever had."
Einhart smiled. _'It already is Vi. You're here.' _
"If you want, you can ask for a spar." Zafria said. "To make you more comfortable, but I won't go easy on you." Zafria informed flashing a gleam of his fang.
"Maybe later." Einhart answered smiling.
"Hurry it up!" Vita yelled as she returned. "I want to finish this before the Christmas special is on."
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"So Testarossa, you cook?" Signum asked with a slight smirk as they both chopped away at vegetables for various dishes.
"I thought your wife cooked all your meals." Fate countered with a knowing smile.
"Touché." Signum responded.
"So, I'd say that we are matched in our culinary skills." Fate answered as she finished. "Guess that means we should leave the rest to our wives."
"Agreed. By the way your mother has already arrived, as well as Suzuka, Alisa and your in-laws."
"Yes I saw mother already, she told me that Shari is working on making some new device for us. Not to be rude but I would only ever use Bardiche." Fate said as she began to leave the kitchen. "I had him since I was young an-AHH!" She yelled in a raised voice as she tripped over a broom that had fallen over. She reached her arm to grab the table only to grab a light cardboard box, sending it to the floor. Luckily Signum, with the reflexes she had, grabbed her other arm and pulled her back to her feet.
"Are you alright?" Signum asked.
"Yeah." She answered with a sigh following it. "But the cake isn't."
Indeed the cake did not survive the harrowing fall, its being splattered against the wooden floor.
It was that instant that Zafria entered the kitchen, attracted by the yell he heard after finishing in the washroom. "Both of you alright?" he asked before setting his eyes on the remnants of the once delectable cake.
"We're fine." Fate replied. "I hate to do this, especially since she could be enjoying herself, but could you ask Momoko to bake another cake?"
Zafria smiled. "I'll ask her, but don't worry I think I know a way to let her enjoy baking that cake." And before either could ask he was out the door.
**Author's Note:** Man I'm a slow writer, or it might be that I was playing Borderlands 2 on my Xbox for days after it came out(September 18), but it's actually both. Anyway I noticed that the line of – I had in the previous chapter was not present I am going to use X-X-X from now on. Anyway this chapter was mainly meant to revolve around the Yagumi (Yagami? Oh well, translations what are you going to do) family but it feels like it was mostly revolving around Einhart. :P So I named this chapter 'Einhart x Vivio', instead of 'Yagumi Family'. Next Chapter, The Nakajimas and Teana, see you soon.
4. Ginga x Nove
**Christmas Party**
**By: Vicatron**
**Chapter 4**
"Momoko-san." Zafria said grabbing her attention away from the two unison devices that were currently dancing with Kris.
"Ah, Zafria right?" She asked confident in her memory.
"Glad to know you haven't forgotten." He replied. "There was an accident in the kitchen, everyone is fine but one of your cakes got destroyed, Fate regrettably ask you to bake another but don't worry I got you a helper."
"Oh, and who would that be?"
Vivio popped out from behind Zafria at that moment and exclaimed "Obaasan! I'm ganna help you bake it!"
Momoko smiled and picked up her granddaughter lifting her above her head. "You want to help me bake a cake do you?"
The girl in question only bobbed her head up and down.
Momoko set her back down before heading to the kitchen, granddaughter in tow. "So? What flavor should we make it?"
Ding-Dong the bell ringed. "I'll get it." Shamal informed making her way towards the front door. As she turned the knob she fell back in shock as Sein burst through the door. (Technically she just leaned through the door using her IS, Deep Diver.)
"Merry Christmas!" she yelled. "Hi Shamal, I was hoping to get Hayate." She then proceeded to walk inside (the door still closed) and help Shamal up.
"You almost gave me a heart attack Sein." Shamal admitted taking controlled breaths in order to slow down her racing heart.
"Sorry, well since I'm here I'll get the door." She apologized. "Hello? Who's there?"
"Your father, now open the door." Genya answered, his voice slightly displeased with her antics.
Sein did as she was told letting them in. "Aw, I was hoping for carolers." She joked.
Shamal grabbed Genya's offered hand and allowed him to lift her to her feet. "Thanks, I see your girls are still a handful." The comment enticed a small laugh from him.
"Yes they are, and I'm starting to believe that the older they grow the harder they'll be to handle."
"We're not that bad." Sein pouted.
"Really?" Shamal asked in her motherly tone she used with Hayate. "What was that you did a minute ago?"
"What?! It's Christmas!" She replied. The stern look she got from her father was enough for Sein to get the hint. "Fine, I'll be a good girl."
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"Nanoha-san!" Subaru exclaimed as she dashed into the kitchen. "Guess what!"
"Oh, what is it?" Nanoha inquired as instructed by her former student, fully aware that she would be told no matter what.
"Ginga is engaged!"
"Oh wow, I didn't know she was seeing anyone. Is she engaged with anyone we know?" She asked the ecstatic girl as she dried her hands on a rag.
Subaru nodded "It's Nove!"
"Ah, so that's why Nove moved out." Nanoha voiced out in understanding as she connected the dots of Nove's actions.
"Ginga said she's going to move in with her after the New Year starts. When do you think the wedding we be?" Subaru asked. "Do you think I'll be a bride's maid? What flavor do you think the cake will be? What-"
"Subaru." Teana interrupted. "You're rambling again. And I'm sure if you want to know you could ask her. I understand your enthusiasm but Ginga told us that she plans on telling everyone at dinner, so you don't need to tell everyone."
"But Tia, Ginga's getting married. I want to talk about it." Subaru whined.
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"So Einhart, how are you?" Deed asked
"I'm fine, how is your work at the church?" Einhart asked in return.
"It is well, Carim and Schach have been busy but they are glad that her majesty has a good friend like you to keep an eye on her." Deed answered in return as she shooed away some flies from a tray of cookies.
"Thank you, but sometimes it feels like she's the one keeping an eye on me." Einhart answered honestly.
"Yeah." Sein butted in. "Vivio likes to make everyone smile, always thinking of everyone else."
Deed nodded her head in agreement.
"Well if you need me I'll be outside." Sein said as if randomly.
Grabbing her jacket and boots she made her way outside. In the backyard she took a quick glance around only to see a snowman. "She's here somewhere." Sein told herself. Smiling she took another, closer look, at the trees.
There, near the top of the leafless tree, sat a girl with purple hair. "Hey Lu, how long have you been up there?" She asked ask she jumped from branch to branch till she was sitting on a branch not too far away.
"How did you know I was here?" Lutecia asked with a smile while kicking her legs slowly through the air.
"I saw your Insekts flying around downstairs, I'm surprised Deed didn't notice when she took a swing at them." Sein answered. "So what are you doing up here? And does anyone know that you're here?"
"I'm relaxing." Lutecia answered. "It's nice here, you should have been here at dawn when the sun peeked over the horizon. It wasn't as nice as the one on Carnaaji but a change of scenery is nice."
After a few seconds of silence Sein repeated her question that was not answered. "So does anyone know you're here?"
"You know I'm here." Lutecia answered simply.
Sein smiled at the answer she received and laughed. "So, see anything interesting with your Insekts?"
"I saw Nanoha's two friends from Earth kissing in the bathroom before they got interrupted."
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"So, there any reason you two are using me as a seat?" Nove asked as she sat on the couch.
"Hey, don't move that much! I almost fell off!" Agito yelled at her.
"We're tired." Rein stated with a yawn following.
"Yeah, so quit moving." Agito finish as she closed her eyes and started sleeping on one of Nove's shoulders while Rein followed her led on her other shoulder. '_Tired, what could they have possibly done to be tired already?'_ Nove wondered.
"I see you're as popular as ever." Ginga teased. "Want me to find Hayate so she can babysit them?"
"It would be nice to see her be responsible, but you don't have to. After all they aren't too heavy." Nove replied.
"Too bad." Ginga countered cheerfully. "I want to rest my head on your shoulders so I'll find Hayate." With a swift kiss to the top of her head Ginga was off in search of the commander, leaving Nove with a soft smile.
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"Double A, not bad." Hayate said looking at the readings. "Of course that's just raw magic potential but I'm sure with just basic training that you would easily be qualified as a rank B mage. With more advance training I'm sure you could meet your potentials."
"So we could actually become mages?" Alisa asked skeptical, while Suzuka sat not too far away in quiet excitement.
"Of course, all you need is a device, preferably a custom one, and training, although if you want the best training you'll need survive Nanoha's brutal lessons. And it would be easier to train you if you two decided to move to Mid, but then you would need a place to live as well as Mid's currency. But-" Hayate rambled as she imagined the process of having them move.
Thankfully for the two girls Hayate was cut off as the door opened and Ginga poked her head in. "Ah Hayate, there you are. Would you mind keeping an eye on your little angle and devil."
"What are they doing?" Hayate asked getting up off the floor that Alisa and her were sitting on.
"Sleeping on Nove." She answered as if the occurrence was common place.
Hayate sighed "We'll continue later alright Suzuka, Alisa?"
Both nodded as Hayate left, leaving Ginga with them.
"So?" Ginga asked. "Are you planning to move here?"
"What?" Suzuka asked confused.
"I might have only caught the end of the conversation by it sounded like you were going to move here." Ginga answered.
Both girls looked at the other before Alisa spoke up. "We're not sure. We have many things to consider."
**Authors Note: **At the end of the last chapter I was surprised to see how many of the reviews wanted to know how Zafria was going to convince Momoko to bake another cake. Let's be honest, she would of baked another one even if Zafria didn't get Vivio to help, but I'm sure she enjoyed being with her granddaughter.
Even though there wasn't much romance between Ginga and Nove this chapter I still named this chapter after them, after all, all of my previous chapter 'names' were two names, so I kept up my pattern for now. Now that everyone has arrived it's time for the food and presents shortly after, tune in next chapter.
Sorry it took me about a month to update, I've been distracted. (Video games, speaking of which Halo 4 comes out soon.)
What do you think of the new pic for the story? I thought that the previous one was a bit bland, and the new one makes me think of winter. Using your finger on the foggy windows to draw, write or see outside. I love winter, too bad there hasn't been much snow for the previous years.
Obaasan = Grandmother (according to the internet)
End file.
| fanfiction |
Pitch Black / Riddick 1. Something Wicked
So many plot bunnies, so little time. This is just an intro to another story that I couldn't get out of my mind.
So PLEASE let me know... should I continue? Or should I stick with my first story?
Disclaimer: It's been established...I own nothing.
* * *
**New Mecca, Helion Prime**
Heat waves shimmered up from the pavement of the bustling Badjal marketplace, blistering the feet of the shoeless urchins who wandered there begging for change, bread, anything. The collective smell of unwashed bodies and heat-spoiled fruit permeated the air; and the wealthy women who had ventured into the square pulled their scarves up in a vain attempt to hide from the stench. Vendors hid behind the shades of their carts, only venturing into the sunlight to shoo away beggars and stray dogs. Store owners posted 'Please Keep Doors Closed' signs, hoping to keep only cool air cycling through their shops.
Two miles away the New Mecca Spaceport loomed over the city like great shining tyrant, all steel and glass.
Imam Abu al-Walid walked across the tarmac into the air-conditioned terminal, past the lavish shops selling souvenirs and travel necessities and into the men's lavatory. He gathered his embroidered robes around him and glanced around the stalls, ensuring he was indeed alone in the pristine restroom. Hurrying over to the sinks he turned on a faucet, removed his glasses, and splashed the cold water onto his face.
He strode over to the couch in the corner and collapsed onto it. He stared blankly at the opposite wall for a long while, then lowered his head into trembling hands and wept.
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No more than a mile from the poverty-stricken streets of Badjal, Audrey al-Walid sat in the window of her upstairs bedroom looking into the garden below where her little sister Ziza played in the grass with one of the maids. The little girl squealed in delight as the maid Fatima splashed her with water from the ornate fountain. The stench of the market didn't reach her here, only the smell of opium incense and the meal being prepared in the kitchen downstairs.
Her mother Lajjun called for her to wash for dinner, but she remained stationary staring out into the world beyond the safe confines of the Imam's gated estate. A sudden gust of wind from across the arid terrain swept the scent of the marketplace in the valley below into her room, rustling her crimson bed curtains and scattering the papers that sat on her computer desk. Instead of recoiling from the fetid odor from the streets below, Audrey leaned out of her window inhaling deeply, eyes closed, wistful smile playing about her lips.
"Miss Audrey," a voice called politely from outside her door, "Mrs. al-Walid asks me to inform you that dinner is almost ready; the Imam will be arriving shortly and the guests within the hour."
As she pulled back from the window, the expression of pleasant reflection on Audrey's face melted back into a look of placid indifference.
"Thank you Salam," she replied pulling the window closed, "I'll be down in five minutes."
She made her way into her private bathroom and closed the door behind her. Opening the medicine cabinet set retrieved a box of sandalwood and spice soap; she inhaled deeply almost shuddering as the heady aroma flooded her senses. She washed her face and hands before twisting her hair into an elegant bun.
As she shut the medicine cabinet her reflection caught her eye and she stared into the mirror tracing the contours of her face with soft fragrant hands, manicured nails painted a muted pink.
Seven years ago her hands had been scabbed; dirt streaked and cut up. Her nails had been chewed down to the quick, rimmed with grime and grit. Her hair had been hacked unevenly, face streaked with sweat and tears, pinched with hunger. But then again, seven years ago Ziza hadn't been her sister, Lajjun hadn't been her mother, she didn't live in a six bedroom estate with maids and a cook. Seven years ago she hadn't been Audrey al-Walid at all.
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Dinner went as it always did.
The unfailingly banal exchanges of 'oh, you must tell me where you bought that chaise in the sitting room' and 'isn't that proposed tariff ridiculous' and 'have you heard the Caliph's son has decided to join the Helion air force?'
Audrey sat across the table from Lajjun silently pushing her braised quail breast around the plate. Her private tickle war with Ziza, who sat next to her, had ended after the salad course and since then she'd detached herself from the event at the table. Now she amused herself by counting the stones set in Lajjun's brooch. They caught the light of the candles set around the table and reflected colorful prisms onto the ceiling.
_Red, blue, orange… _
A soft nudge under the table drew her from her thoughts. Looking around she caught Abu's warm smile, he nodded down the table. Someone had been talking to her.
Turning she saw the table's attention had suddenly been focused on her. She flushed slightly, squirming as prickling heat crept up her chest onto her face.
"I'm sorry," she apologized quietly, to whom she still wasn't sure.
"Of course darling," an elderly woman – Minister Rahirim – replied gently, "I was simply inquiring as to whether or not you had applied at the university yet. The Imam tells me that you are an excellent student, top of your class."
Audrey ducked her head, exhibiting the expected modesty and docility of a young upper class woman.
"Yes, ma'am," she replied, "I am to begin studies there in the fall."
The older woman fingered the folds of her chiffon stole and smiled genially, "Very good dear."
And then it was over. The adults returned their attention back to the vital conversation of furniture stores and travel destinations.
As the moon climbed high into the sky casting a dim blue glow in through the windows, the talk began to dwindle. One after another the guests excused themselves bestowing many praises and thanks to the hostess for the delicious meal.
From the room behind the kitchen Fatima and Salam appeared and began clearing the dishes. Abu disappeared into his book-lined study; Lajjun vanished into her powder room to begin her nightly skin renewal regimen. The house was quiet save of the chirruping of crickets outside and the clinking of pots and pans in the kitchen. Audrey scooped the groggy toddler up from the couch and walked up the stairs into her nursery.
After dressing her in a soft gown , Audrey tucked the girl into her bed and walked back down the stairs and into the garden. It was a warm night; the city below was quiet save for the occasional wail of sirens, and the balmy night air cooled her slightly damp skin as she sat on a wicker lawn chair wiggling her bare toes in the springy moist grass.
She unpinned her tresses and shook them out around her shoulders wrinkling her nose as her scalp tingled at the sudden increase of blood flow. She flung her sheer green shoulder wrap over her face at stared up at the jade-tinged moon.
Summer nights had always been her favorite. When she was a little girl – before she was Miss Audrianne al-Walid – she was simply Jack. And summer nights had been the most enjoyable for kids like her.
Children who slept in the parks, in the alleys, on the rooftops of buildings in cities just like New Mecca. On summer nights there was no need to seek out dumpsters, doorways, and cars to provide some refuge from the driving rain or snow. A kid could meander into the heart of the closest square and find more comrades, more children of the street gathered around some impromptu trash bin bonfire, sharing hunks of bread, pieces of fruit, wedges of cheese and – when fortune smiled upon these rejected souls – bits of meat. If the local police arrived they would scatter, only to congregate on another block a few minutes later.
Companions in the spring and summer months were competitors come fall. Rivals, vying for the fullest dumpster, the largest square of cardboard box. The weak – or sometimes just the unlucky – ended up frozen in the gutter. They were not missed come the next summer, for there were always new faces to replace the old, they were interchangeable.
Surely no one noticed when she had faded into oblivion. No one had missed her as she wandered through the Interplanetary Spaceport of New Johannesburg, fingering the stolen credits in her pocket. No parents worried about her as she boarded the ill-fated long-range transport vessel _Hunter-Gratzner_. When the ship collided with whatever matter of space debris that sent it hurdling into the atmosphere of a cursed planet, she was just another scared passenger.
She was no one until the lights went out. And then, because of that cursed monthly flow, she was the marked woman, the intended meal of a thousand chittering winged beasts that stalked her through the dark. The man with the badge had tried to have her killed, gutted like a piece of bait. A sacrifice to whatever terrible god ruled the barren planet. No one cared whether she lived or died except for a grieving holy man, a pilot living on borrowed time…and a man with smoldering silver eyes. He knew her better than the rest, this murder lurking in the shadows; he wasn't really a man at all. But he had saved her when the razor toothed monsters clawed and chewed their way through the remaining survivors; when blue entrails rained from the heavens and the ground grew slippery with blood; when the sounds of their own screams were drowned out by the maddening chatters…
"Miss Audrey," a gentle voice questioned from besides her. She jolted in the chair, almost tipping it over.
Small hands landed on her shoulder and she turned her head. Fatima. Disorientation faded, and realization set in. She had fallen asleep in the garden, the meticulously pruned and snipped garden, inside of a walled complex far away from the trashcan bonfires and winged monsters.
"You must have fallen asleep ma'am." Six and a half years as Miss Audrey al-Walid and it never failed to unnerve her when a woman old enough to be her grandmother called her 'ma'am'.
Nodding she gathered up her scarf and made her way back into the house. Making her way past the dining room she noticed a muted light emanating from under the Imam's study door. He was a night-owl like herself, she decided to say goodnight; but as she approached the door the sound of an urgent hushed argument met her ears. She paused and then turned to leave when her name caught her attention. She hovered closer to the door placing her hands on the doorframe to support her weight.
"He is insistent, Lajjun," Abu whispered furiously.
"Hundreds of women would freely throw themselves at his feet. She's just a girl!"
"I know this…"
"She is younger than his _children_!"
"Lajjun, I _know_ this…"
"It is _unacceptable_. Tell him no."
Audrey pressed he ear against the cool surface of the door, a cold stone of anxiety began to form in the pit of her stomach.
"You know as well as I, that it is not that simple. He is the _Caliph_, one does not simply refuse him."
"We are not an authoritarian state, Abu," she hissed vehemently, "there is the Counsel. Surely, they will never…"
"He _owns_ the Counsel, Lajjun. Half of them are on his personal payroll and the rest fear him too much to oppose."
"She is just a _child_…" Lajjun broke off there, and through the heavy oak Audrey could swear she heard quiet sobs.
"Nothing is official yet," she heard him sigh and then push back his chair; "I will continue to deter him until I can figure out another plan."
At the sound of footsteps Audrey silently slipped from the hallway, up the stairs and into her room. She listened for the sounds of Abu and his wife retreating into their bedroom across the hall before getting undressed and slipping into bed.
The cool cotton sheets felt wonderful against her heated skin, but they brought her no comfort. She lay on her back watching the lights of city below flicker across her ceiling; she was safe here in her second story bedroom with a guard posted at the front gate. She told herself she was protected, but in the back of her mind she sensed a black presence, darker than the very depths of the planet she had survived all those years ago, closing in on the little circle of light she had come to know.
* * *
2. Sunset
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
**New Mecca, Helion Prime**
The sun beat mercilessly down on the backs of the workers as they toiled relentlessly in the fields. Dust stuck to the sweat that poured from their brows and dried, giving them the appearance of clay statues. They hustled back and forth, baskets tied to their backs, under the watchful eyes of overseer's who prowled the fields.
Audrey solemnly watched them from the window of the car as it sped across the valley. When they had begun descent from the mansion riddled hillside into the bustling city she had felt electric anticipation bubbling up inside of her. It dissipated as swiftly as it had come when the driver had veered around the outskirts of the city.
Now, as they passed the sun baked fields, a silent elation began threading through her body once more…they were headed towards the sea. While she stared out the window Abu watched her closely from the corner of his eye. As the smell of burning crops was replaced by the tang of salty ocean air a small smile worked its way onto her face, and Abu swallowed as a fresh wave of guilt overtook him. He turned away.
Before the car had come to a complete stop Audrey had flung open the door and rushed out onto the sand, laughing as the waves broke and crashed upon the shore. Abu settled himself on a dune of grass covered sand and watched the girl as she frolicked back in forth in the surf, kicking water into the shy in glittering arches. Her cheeks flushed with exhilaration and she laughed as she darted through a flock of birds sending them fluttering into the air.
"Child," he called to her, remorse thick in his voice. She turned and looked to him, smile faltering at the unshed tears in his eyes. The conversation she overheard had been all but forgotten, but now it rushed back to her in alarming clarity.
(_…one does not simply refuse him…_)
"Yes, Abu." She seated herself next to him but refused to tear her gaze away from the sun as it sank slowly into the ocean. Cool air whipped off the surface of the water and in to her face, and for a fleeting moment she was sure the entire planet had gone completely silent. In her mind the impending darkness closed in still.
Abu took her hand lovingly in his and brushed her hair out of her eyes. Audrey smiled and leaned into the caress. "What is it baba?"
His wise eyes settled on hers, and he seemed to grow old before her.
"My dear child," he said, "you have been a constant light in my life for the past seven years. I love you as much as any father could love a child."
"I know," she whispered tracing the lines on his hands with her finger.
"I have failed you Jacqueline." Her spine stiffened sharply, little beads of sweat forming above her lips. Jacqueline was the terrified girl, bleeding, and hiding in the shadows. Jacqueline was not to be talked about. She hated the name with a black passion, hated what it meant: alone, afraid, weak.
"My name is Audrey," she said slowly taking care to pronounce every word. "I am not…_her_."
"You are an exceptionally intelligent young woman," he soothed squeezing her hand softly; "you have gone far beyond my expectations in every aspect of your life."
He tilted her chin to meet his gaze, "But I am no fool. I see the fire that burns within you, the yearning for a life beyond our garden walls. You try to smother it, extinguish it with polite banter and carefully practiced etiquette; but it burns still. You are, and always will be, Jack. And I will always love you for it."
"I don't want to be her," she whispered drawing her knees up to her chest. "She was nothing. She was weak…"
"She survived," Abu interrupted gently, "… _you_ survived."
As Abu began to talk, she fell into silence. The crashing of the waves muted and then turned into the flapping of wings, pulsing, swishing around her. The sun sank below the surface, and darkness crawled into her mind pushing, prodding at some uncontrollable emotion. Bile rose in her throat and she swallowed it down, relishing the bitter acidity. Pain. Pain was always the best reminder.
* * *
**Asharal Palace, Helion V**
The stone walls were slick and wet with centuries of accumulated algae. No light penetrated the rooms darkness, no breeze freshened the fetid air which was rank with the scent of sweat, blood, and human waste. No sound broke the silence save for the steady drip of water trickling down the stones, that and the shallow ragged breathing of the woman chained to the wall.
If she had a name, she couldn't remember it.
Not a woman really, just an adolescent girl naked except for the manacles digging in to her raw and blood crusted wrists. Her budding breasts marred with an assortment of bites and scratches. Dirt and blood streaked her body, her stomach swollen with infection and heavy with child. Her lips cracked into a bloody smile. Yes, she was pregnant with the unholy child of a very holy man. And for that she would be dead soon. She rejoiced in that fact.
* * *
**Oh yeah, did I mention this story is kinda dark? No?...SURPRISE!!**
**Let me know what you think!**
3. Stronghold
**New Mecca, Helion Prime**
A thin crimson line blossomed from her skin, thin fingers gripped the razor. Her hands shook and she cut deep. Her breath came in ragged gasps and she squeezed her eyes shut willing the fear to subside. One hand slid the razor across the inside of a thigh; the other hand gripped the bathroom counter.
Blood trickled down her leg and she flung the razor aside, leaned forward and vomited into the basin of her porcelain sink. She caught her reflection in the mirror and heaved again as the room around her seemed to pulse and vibrate. The rush of blood in her ears became deafening and she pushed frantically back from the sink pinching herself hard enough to leave bruises. It wasn't enough. The pain wasn't enough. Her nails dug furrows into her stomach as she clawed at herself and she sunk to the floor hyperventilating.
Panic, hot and raw raged inside of her. She felt it burning through her, felt it wrapping around her lungs. Icy fingers wrapped around her heart and began to penetrate.
_Three hours until dinner. I could be at the spaceport. Bags are packed. Run. _
A strangled cry escaped her throat, "No!"
_They'll die. I run and they'll all die. He'll kill them. _
A voice screamed 'run' and she clamped a hand over her mouth when she realized it was her own.
Tearing open the sink cabinet she reached around the drain pipe and pulled the syringe from its hiding spot. She tore off the cap, plunged the needle into her thigh, grateful for the intense sting. Liquid fire burned for a fleeting second, and then came the numb.
Curling up into a ball she rocked herself back and forth, relishing the feel of the cold tile floor against her burning skin.
_Rule number one, self control_ – a dark voice resounded in her head.
She opened her eyes and the room had stopped moving.
_No gauge, no shiv…nothing will save you if you lose control –_ the words were hard, sharp. She could feel them rush over her skin, oddly soothing.
She could hear the faint sweet sound of Ziza's laughter.
_You lose control, you die_ – .
**Flashback**
"– _you give in to fear, you're dead. " He stands above her, arms folded, face obscured by shadow._
_Jack sits at his feet, trying not to tremble as hairy legs poked into the skin on her shoulder. Nascipalian wetland tarantula. Fifth most toxic insect in the known galaxy. It's bristles brush against her jugular. _
"_You panic and its game over."_
_She can feel it moving closer to her face and she bites her lip to suppress a scream, her stomach roils. She abhors spiders. She absolutely hates them, and she fears them. _
_She feels his mercurial eyes boring into her; she schools her face into blank apathy. Inside she screams._
"_The spider is a man with a gun to your head. The lethal dose of toxin is a bullet between your eyes. What do you do?"_
_Its feet tickle her scalp. When she feels it moving down her face, hears its clicking mandibles, terror nudges against her brain. _
_Jack swallows; her throat is dry and sticks painfully. She fists her hands and meets his gaze. _
"_Deep breaths lower the heart rate."_
_She inhales, exhales._
"_Keep eye contact."_
_His face gives away nothing. God, she wants to be that._
"_Shift whole body. Slow. Distract him from hands."_
_She slowly, painstakingly reaches her arm up. The spider creeps down onto her chest._
"_Quick turn to the side, slap gun away, attack."_
_In a flash she swipes the spider from her chest, pulls a thin blade from her belt and impales the horrible creature against the canvas of the punching bag. Brown liquid squirts onto her hands, it tingles and that makes her sick. She wipes it onto her faded cargoes and turns to face her instructor._
_He moves out of the shadows and light glints off his narrowed eyes, she feels a thrill run through her, stronger than the fear. A twitch of his lips lets her know that she's done well. And then it's over, his face melts back into detached contempt and he fades back into the shadows. The day's lesson is complete. She is alone…_
**End Flashback**
Audrey inhaled a great shuddering breath as the iron band around her chest relaxed slightly.
_Deep breaths. _
The ache of unused adrenaline faded, the invisible hand that had been pulling her toward the door disappeared.
Audrey rolled over, pressed her face into the bath mat and tried to cry. A facial tic resembling a smile pulled at her features when not a solitary tear was released. Nonetheless, her control was slipping; the pain wasn't enough.
Looking at the chrono she vaguely noted that she had three days left until the Caliph was due for his tri-annual visit to the capital of the Chrislamic nation.
Every day the panic grew stronger.
_I run, and he'll kill them. _
As the beginning of the _adhan_ sounded in the distance calling most of the citizens of New Mecca to prayer, she pulled herself up from the floor.
She wiped the blood from the floor and tucked the syringe back under the sink. From behind glazed eyes Jack watched as the shell she had become walked back into the bedroom and began unpacking the bags that sat on her bed. She would not leave.
Abu had taken her into his home, into his heart, into the light. She would not - _could_ not - run, and bring the Caliph's anger down on his head. She could not control her situation, but she could - she _would_- control her self. She'd fight the panic, she'd beat back the fear with pain. Pain was the best reminder, after all, of why she could never be Jack. She would never be the scared little girl running in the dark again.
She would face her fate, without crying for help from _him_. He had left her once, without so much as a backward glance, and she would rather surrender to her fate than yield to her fear. She would not call on him. He was no savior.
* * *
This chapter was partially inspired by the song "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson. If you read the lyrics you'll understand.
-A.P.
4. Beholder
**New Mecca, Helion Prime – TWO YEARS EARILER**
Ziza threw back her head and shrieked with laughter as Audrey whisked her around the ballroom. The crowd parted as Audrey whirled through, clutching the toddler to her chest and laughing with uninhibited joy.
Abu watched from one of the many tables in the extravagant hall as his daughters danced through the crowd. Apparently Audrey hadn't realized that the song had changed from an upbeat tempo to a slow classical tune, but it was more likely that she did not care.
Her face was ablaze with vitality, an unadulterated happiness that he had yet to see in the past five years that they had resided in New Mecca. Her laugh echoed through the hall, clear and loud, and his eyes burned with tears of elation.
He had toiled relentlessly for months to ensure that every aspect of her sixteenth birthday was flawless. It had cost him a small fortune, and he would pay it ten times over. He loved her so much it hurt him at times. How like Ziza she was at times. Young and innocent and pure.
When her guard was down, when she slept or played with Ziza, he could, if he watched very closely, catch fleeting glimpses of the girl he had known five years ago. Sometimes it came through as a defiant flash of fire in her eyes, or a mischievous smile, sometimes in an inappropriate joke or comment. He had come to live for those moments, but she had always retreated back into that studied polite sophistication.
Her young spirit had been torn asunder long before she had the opportunity to truly live.
Bitter remorse laced through his body and he was startled to feel the stem of water goblet he held, snap in his hand. Lajjun, with her uncanny ability to understand her husband's needs, leaned into his back and petted his arm soothingly.
"My love," she whispered into his ear, "look at your daughters. They have not a care in the world, they are happy. As you should be."
"It is fleeting, Lajjun," he replied, wearily, "in the morning she will crawl back into herself, into what shell she had created."
"Then let it be fleeting, my love," she purred, waving at Audrey and Ziza as they twirled by, both laughing uncontrollably.
"Let it be and enjoy your daughter's happiness while it lasts, you have earned that."
Sighing in agreement, the father leaned back into his wife's loving embrace and watched with bittersweet joy as his children, his world, spun around the room to the cadence of some unheard song.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
From the balcony of the hall, Caliph Ibrahim Asharal VIII observed the scene beneath him. Ministers, clergymen, Council members, all members of the upper echelon of society milled about beneath him.
Most politely ignored him, and he pointedly disregarded those who didn't. His attendance was customary, the guest of honor was not only a clergyman's daughter, but she was turning sixteen. He would deliver the rite, proclaiming her as a woman eligible for marriage. A tedious job, one that he was considering transferring to a subordinate. Maybe a Minister.
Yet, as boisterous laughter filtered into his private booth his attention was drawn, to the strange girl dancing through the room, twirling and laughing as she flaunted herself. His breath caught in his throat.
Her unsettling green eyes turned upwards as she tilted her head to the gold leafed ceiling, her face was bathed in the glowing light of thousands of candles.
She wore no scarf, and his fingers itched to bury themselves in the thick russet curls that brushed against creamy white shoulders.
She was not beautiful by any conventional means, but the subtle defiance that emanated from her young – almost boyish – frame shook him to the core.
_Not a daughter of New Mecca._
Her girlish laughter tinkled through the hall once more. His eyes never left her face as he stroked himself through the layers of his ceremonial robes.
"The girl in white," he said to the attendant at his side, "who is she?"
"Your Holiness, she is the daughter of Imam Abu al-Walid. Adopted daughter. This is her birthday celebration."
An exotic rhythm began to pour from the speakers and the green-eyed witch began to sway innocently from side to side, eyes closed , hands held up to the heavens. The crowd around her faded away and he caressed himself in time with her movements.
Shoving his robes aside, he took himself in one trembling hand and began to pump furiously. His eyes caught every twitch of her lips, every movement of her lithe young body underneath the lavish silk dress.
His teeth pierced the supple skin of her throat and her saccharine blood bubbled over his tongue. Her tears splattered onto his face and he licked at those as well, shuddering at the sharp contrast the salt provided. Hot fear radiated from her skin and he drank in the scent of it, feeling giddy as she hiccupped in terror beneath him.
In his mind she threw her head back in agony; fantasy and reality overlapped as she raised her face to the ceiling. He exploded into his robes, and her figure swam in front of his unfocused eyes.
The private booth was silent save for his ragged panting. A young servant girl kneeled at his feet and began to clean him; her eyes remained blank as he pulled her face into his lap. The other attendant's eyes remained averted, his face as vacant as hers.
The music below faded, "Your Excellency…it is time."
* * *
5. Unwrapped
**Zorian Station, New Syria – Six Years Earlier**
Jack's skin almost glowed underneath the pulsing neon lights. The deep base shook her from head to toe, and reverberated up her spine. She twisted and ground her hips to the beat of the music, hands flung carelessly in the air.
She inhaled the scent of sweat, cheap alcohol, even cheaper cologne, and smiled. Callused palms skimmed over the exposed skin of her stomach and she gyrated harder. The alcohol had long ago warmed her body. Fingertips skimmed over her budding breasts and a strange wetness settled between her legs.
An arm snaked around her and pulled her hard against a large unyielding body. Her sweat slicked skin tingled with mixed anticipation and apprehension. She willed it away.
She was in control. Because he had taught her how to be in control. She was like him now. Strong and deadly. She could take care of herself. Because he had taught her. She was _not_ going to spend the next week confined in the ship while he got to walk the streets.
A small frosted shot glass appeared in front of her, a hand tipped the glass to her lips. She winced as the amber liquid slid down her throat. It burned, and then it warmed, and then it numbed.
She danced harder.
When the song ended she was floating. The body behind her gripped her close, and she was grateful because she didn't want to fly away.
The cold night air bit through her clothes, and she jerked in surprise. How had she gotten outside?
A hand guided her towards a car, and she stumbled. Where was she going?
"Come back to my place baby."
The hand pushed harder and she resisted slightly.
"I can't," she said.
"Sure you can, honey." The hand pushed again, and she looked up, vision swimming, into light brown eyes. They smiled back down at her and she giggled slightly. "You ain't no baby, are you?"
"Fuck no," she slurred, outraged at the accusation. She was a killer. She had killed for him, and he taught her how to do it better. He would be so mad. He was always telling her what to do.
She wrenched open the door and fell into the leather seats, "I ain't no fucking baby."
"That's right sugar." The hand closed the door.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Darkness screamed from all around her. She drifted through nothingness, feather light, completely paralyzed.
Gradually, the pain began to set in. Searing, white hot pain. Her whole body was on fire. She tried to lift her arms, and beat out the flames but found she couldn't move.
She tried to scream. Felt her lips crack, tasted the blood run across her tongue. A dry rasp rattled from between her lips and she recoiled from the stench of old blood on her breath.
Light began filtering through the blackness. Bright fluorescent light. She struggled to open swollen eyes, clean gleaming metal shined from all around her.
Through the fog she began to register her situation . The whirring of a ventilation machine. The steady beep of a heart monitor. Rumbling of a ships engine.
"Jack, my child, you are awake!"
Muscles and tendons groaned as her neck swiveled. "Im-Imam?"
Warm gentle hands on the side of her face. Familiar scents. She felt a tear drop fall onto her face.
"Where- where's Riddick? What happened?"
The hands faltered. "He is…busy, Jack. Our plans have changed. We are headed to New Mecca."
"I thought he didn't want to go there," she whispered, fighting the nausea that threatened to overwhelm.
"He will not be staying. What happened in New Syria…Mr. Riddick cannot remain with us any longer. Many people died, and he is very angry at the moment. Child, I will warn you to stay in this room until we reach our destination. For your own safety."
She remembered everything all at once.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Dust puffed into her eyes as she ground her face into the dirt, suppressing a scream.
Something tore deep inside of her and she couldn't stop the sobbing shriek that ripped from her throat.
"Oh god," she whispered, curling into a shivering ball as she rocked back and forth. "Oh god, please."
Another ripping sensation, she retched. Wetness seeped from between her legs, hot and thick. Her insides were being shredded. She stuck her hand into her jeans, it came back coated in blood.
"Oh fuck," she gasped. The bleeding had never been that bad. In fact, it had stopped completely for the past four months. She was happy because she could go back to being a boy again. Maybe, if she worked real hard, Riddick would come back for her. Maybe he wouldn't be mad anymore. She would be good, she wouldn't let anyone know she was a girl ever again. If only the bleeding would stop.
More tearing deep inside, she could almost hear it. Her stomach convulsed. She screamed again. The dirt stuck to her tears, creating little rivers of mud down her face. Sounds of the marketplace filtered down the alley, drowning out her terrified cries.
A primal instinct told her to bear down, she did. She felt as if she were being rendered in two, something slick and heavy slid out from between her legs, but exhaustion overtook her and she drifted into a dead slumber.
Hours later she awoke on a straw cot. An old woman, wrinkled beyond belief, hovered above her. Children watched her warily from the corner. A mug of thin gruel was shoved towards her, and she ate it greedily. The aching in her stomach was intense, but she stood anyways, shifting uncomfortably around the pad of cloth tied in between her legs. She was still bleeding.
_He won't ever come back for me now. _
Tears started to stream down her face, mixing with the dried dirt.
The woman, obviously misunderstanding the girl's sorrow, pointed to a bundle of bloody cloth and shook her head solemnly. "No baby."
Jack crumpled to the ground, consumed in inconsolable grief that she didn't even understand. The old woman wrapped her up in thin, but incredibly strong arms, and Jack howled until she fell asleep once more.
In the frigid winter morning, Audrey slipped from the silent hut, cradling the bundle of bloody rags in her frail arms. She buried the bundle in the garden beneath her bedroom window, covered the patch with a piece of flagstone, and entered the house to get dressed for school.
6. Father
**New Mecca, Helion Prime**
OoOoOoOoO
_He carried Audrey through a field of waving black sunflowers. She was limp in arms, dead weight. An altar stood ahead in the distance. He didn't know why, but he had to get her there. He began to jog. Ziza skipped in and out of view ahead of him, humming quietly to herself. He tried to call to her, tell her to move out of his path, but found himself mute. To his left, in the bright light of the day, a great golden chair rode on the backs of silent men and women. On the top sat a faceless man. No matter how hard he ran, they were always right by his side. To his right, in the shadow, walked a young Jack, wide-eyed and smiling. She was hand in hand with a man made of impenetrable shadow. His eyes glowed silver._
_The sunflowers began to bleed, his steps faltered on the slippery ground. The altar loomed ahead. He stumbled, fell, picked her up again and started running. Her body grew heavier by the step._
_Ziza appeared in front of him. She blocked the path. He tried to go around her, but couldn't. He screamed silently. Blood was up to his knees. The altar. _
_Frantically searching, he saw that the moving dais had stopped. The faceless man now stood beside him, flanked by an entourage. He extended one hand in an undeniable offer to carry the girl. With the other hand he plucked a flower from the field and shoved into his gash of a mouth, the flower screamed. Abu recoiled. A tug on his robes. Young Jack. She smiled up at him, winked, motioned to the shadow behind her. Ziza's shoulders were almost submerged. He clutched Audrey tighter._
_Jack spread her hands and shrugged, smirking slightly. He knew that look- _hey, what're ya gonna do_?_
_Ziza began to splutter. The shadow extended it's arms. Ziza choked. He handed Audrey over, and swept his daughter onto his shoulders._
_The faceless man began to shriek. Abu's eyes remain glued to Audrey. The shadow lowered its head, sniffed her, bared its teeth. Jack began to laugh. The shadow produced a blade, smiled at Jack, teeth glinting. Jack laughed harder. It slit Audrey's throat in one smooth motion. Abu screamed._
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
He thrashed about in his sleep, reaching for the shadow. He would kill it.
"Abu…Abu please!" Someone was shaking him. He struck out blindly, wrapped his fingers around a smooth, slim throat. He jerked the attacker underneath him.
Lajjun. Her eyes wide in fear, hands shielding her face. He froze; her body was rigid underneath his, her breath rapid and shallow against his neck.
"Abu," she whimpered, "please." His fingers flew from her neck. He rolled off her and stood.
"Lajjun…I-," he faltered to a stop and she came up off the bed to him.
"You cannot continue this, Abu," she said quietly. "I will not watch my husband worry himself into an early grave."
He glanced wearily around their room, grateful that they faced away from the harsh lights of the city. Audrey thrived on those lights. Some nights, coming home from work, he would see her sitting in the window, watching the city, as he drove up the road and into the estate gates.
"She has made her decision," he answered hollowly; "there is nothing I can do."
"Call for _him_-"
"No. You will never understand," he whispered, pulling away from her.
"Because you will not let me," she answered.
He insisted that he needed fresh air. In actuality, he sought refuge from her accusatory stare.
She hadn't been there when Audrey was still Jack. She hadn't sat in terror, closed up in the med-bay of a stolen mercenary ship, holding a half-dead little girl in her arms, listening to another man's inhuman roars echoing through the walls as he destroyed the neighboring cabin with his bare hands. She hadn't had to tend for an almost comatose girl, alone in an empty house. She had come along after the name had been changed, the hair had grown back, the simpereing smile had been mastered.
She would never understand, and he prayed to god that she would never have to.
He made his way down the stairs, paused at the entry to his study, deciding to read until sleep claimed him once more. Settling into his chair he smoothed his hands over the taught leather, lost in thoughts. Audrey had picked out this recliner for his fifty-third birthday last year. Over-stuffed, with a head rest and extendable foot rest. She had practically bounced with anticipation as she led him blind-folded into his study. It was one of her 'alive moments'.
The thought that she may be dead by his next birthday had him He leaning into trembling hands.
Lajjun would never understand why he could not ask Riddick back into Audrey's life. She did, however, understand the second option. She had heard the rumors whispered around the Council meetings. The ugly secrets that filtered through the ministry. To her the choice was clear, a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. She had not seen Jack's face as he turned his back on them.
He had created this sanctuary for his family, and it served its purpose well.
A noise from the garden drew his attention, he slipped out of his office and crept towards the sound.
A soft thud. Shallow, quiet breaths. The sliding glass door was slightly ajar; he slid it noiselessly open and peered into the moonlit garden.
Audrey knelt, barefoot in the grass, hands resting lightly on a piece of flagstone. Her back heaved underneath the thick cotton nightshirt she wore.
His foot nudged a ceramic pot, her head snapped around. The moon caught her eyes; the wildness he saw there chilled him to the core. She moved protectively over the flagstone, almost reflexively.
He stared, and she slowly backed off of it, eyes never leaving his.
"Imam," she croaked throatily, rolling her head leisurely along her shoulders, "what are you doing up this late?"
He stepped forward, she moved back over the stone.
This was not Audrey he was dealing with. Of that he was sure. The lazy indifference that radiated from her kneeling form confirmed that for him. Audrey would be apologizing for possibly disturbing him, she would offer to make him a cup of tea and sit with him.
The girl in front of him simply crossed her arms and stared insolently at him.
"Sleep seems to have evaded me," he answered slowly, "and you…Jack?"
She flinched, her face working into a series of unidentifiable emotions. The defiance sputtered, then went out like a candle in a hurricane. A sharp pang of sorrow slivered through him. He blinked back the burning in his eyes. There were times he would take Jack at her worst, than Audrey at her very best. This was indeed one of those times.
"I am sorry for waking you baba," she apologized softly.
He closed his eyes as bitter resignation fell down upon his shoulders. He mouthed her next words along with her as she spoke them.
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
He allowed her to lead him into the house, numb and suddenly completely exhausted.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
The shrill chirping of birds invaded his dreamless sleep. Blinking the room into focus, he found himself slouched over the cool dining room table. The tea sat cold is front of him. He was alone. There was a thin blanket draped across his shoulders. He smiled sadly. Audrey.
He crept back up the stairs, feeling like and intruder in his own house. Halfway up the staircase he paused. Reaching out tentatively, he smoothed his thumb down the silver frame of the picture before him. It had always been his favorite, his girls. Audrey sitting on the rim of the garden fountain, cradling a smiling, toothless infant Ziza.
Leaning closer, he saw that there were tears in her eyes. He had never noticed that before. Nor the wistfulness in her smile. The intensity of her gaze.
A vision of her hunching over the flagstone, crying, flashed through his mind. Fear prickled in the back of his mind. Realization dawned, rampaged into his brain. His glasses clattered down the stairs as he reeled.
"Please," he gasped, swallowing back bile, "please no. Not that." He flew back down the stairs.
The flagstone was slick with morning dew, slippery in his shaking hands. The dirt was soft beneath it. He pulled the stiff ragged bundle gently from the ground, and collapsed back into the grass shaking, stomach roiling.
"My god..."
* * *
7. False Dawn
****
New Mecca, Helion Prime
Lajjun jerked when the shop door closed behind her. Trepidation crawled up and down her spine, like a spider. She felt as if her body were covered in them.
The stale air of the city was more oppressive than usual that day; she could feel sweat collecting in the valley between her breasts.
"Madame al-Walid," a pleasant voice called, causing her to start once more, "what a pleasure it is. How many I be of service to you this fine day?"
Lajjun reflexively flashed the old man a cordial smile and bowed her head.
"Monsieur LeBeux," she answered, bowing her head further, "I am in need of your…_technical expertise._."
She did not miss the hitch in his breath. Watching him from underneath her lashes, she produced a small disc from the depths of her robes. He did not take it, her stomach dropped.
"I-I am not so familiar with such things…I am just a tailor," he breathed motioning to the fabric laden worktables.
"Do not be coy, Monsieur," she insisted quietly. "Your talents are..._well known_…shall we say?"
He laughed nervously, licked his lips. "Madame, I-it's been many years. The Council…I have been cleared of all charges. It has been many, many years." It was the finality in is voice, she decided later, that started the boiling in her blood.
Her head came up, slowly and regally. Sliding her scarf from her head she advanced on the small man, disc extended in front of her. The steel in her voice surprised even her; it had been many years for her too.
"Deny my request, Monsieur, and I assure you, when time comes, you will wish it were the Council who was judging you."
The threat was essentially empty, but he seemed to collapse into himself so she ran with it.
She offered the disc again; he took it quickly, almost tripping over himself as he hurried into the back room. She followed on his heels. The man fumbled at his computer for what seemed an eternity. The midday sun began to sink below the surrounding hills; her anxiety grew in the fading light.
Finally, the man handed her the decoded disc and it disappeared into her robes again.
"My payment," he asked timidly.
She leveled her gaze at him, smiling slightly, and laid a note on the counter before pushing back out into the bustling crowd of the city.
Her legs shook slightly as she weaved through the crowd, tying her scarf in place once more; but a small smile appeared nonetheless.
_The fire is not so easily extinguished_. She was absurdly pleased with her resolve; the years of pampered comfort had not whittled her down to a simpering housewife so completely after all.
A woman bumped bodily into her, but Lajjun did not falter. She ducked her head as her grin grew; she may not master the streets like she once had, but the instinct was still there.
After the death of her father, her mother had become a rich man's mistress. He had paid for their small apartment, their food, her school. He had even paid Lajjun to disappear when he came to visit. She had taken his money with grim amusement. She would have left for the asking, she had no illusions…her mother was his whore. Business was business, and the money her benefactor flicked at her went straight into an account, not to be touched.
She had met Abu in the girl's clothing shop where she worked. She had personally outfitted Audrey with an entire wardrobe, and had found herself in awe of the attention and affection the man lavished upon this child who was clearly not his wife, nor his blood. In him she saw an opportunity for a life she could never achieve as her mother's 'apprentice'. She was ecstatic when he invited her to lunch at his estate.
She let herself be molded into quintessential wife material, and when the time came, she lay back and reaped the benefits. She had never expected to fall in love with the man, or his young female charge for that matter. But she had, completely and thoroughly.
The girl had been so much like herself; docility folded protectively over raw emotion. A motherless child, Audrey had responded to the woman's affection immediately, despite her best efforts not to.
The car waited on the edge of town, the driver flipping casually through a magazine. She waved aside his scurry to open the door and threw herself into the car. Her robes stuck to her skin, she plucked at them, knocked on the glass separating her from the driver.
"The air please," she called, and then sighed as the icy breeze hit her skin.
Reclining back into the seat she pulled the disc from her pocket and regarded it once more.
"Such a small thing," she muttered to herself, turning it in her hand.
Somewhere on that metallic surface lay her salvation. Her husband's salvation. And possibly, if he so chose, the redemption of one other.
If Audrey felt anything for her, as a mother, as a friend, it paled in comparison to Lajjun's love of the girl. The love of a mother, and more importantly, of a fellow survivor. Abu thought she did not understand, but it was he who played the fool.
He had never known Temir, her beloved older sister; with her loud boisterous laugh and her razor sharp tongue. She had been beautiful, too beautiful, strange and exotic. Just like Audrey. Just like the Caliph's late wife.
They found her mutilated body three days after her twentieth birthday. The Caliph sent his deepest condolences to her father, his Chief of Agriculture. Her father was not fooled. He had heard rumors of the fiend's predilections.
He died two weeks later, hanged for the attempted assassination. Their mother, insolvent and friendless, sunk into the oblivion of drugs, dragging a young Lajjun along with her.
No, Lajjun recognized with crystal clarity what her husband would never understand. The convict's blade would be kinder, more humane, than the Caliph's bond of matrimony. His fear of the unknown made him hesitate; made him unmindful of the danger that danced openly in front of his very face.
She was not so blind. She saw the evil that paraded in the sunlight, and it horrified her more than anything lurking in the shadows ever could.
* * *
Audrey felt herself being pulled from a deep, dreamless sleep. The cotton sheets stuck to her, itchy and chaffing against her oversensitive skin. Her mouth tasted of ash and bile; her eyes ached behind pallid eyelids. The midday sun shone brightly through her bedroom window, the hum of combined city noises filtering quietly in. She vaguely wondered in Helion V would have cities like New Mecca.
_You'll never see the outside of the palace, you know it_. Her stomach heaved.
The roiling in her gut increased tenfold as she glanced at the chrono on her bed side table. One day left. Her legs twitched, almost involuntarily straining towards the door.
_No. Stop it._
She folded her legs underneath her and wrapped her arms tightly around her aching abdomen.
She had been kneeling for hours last night, sometimes praying, mostly crying. Her back screamed in pain as she stood and walked shakily to the bathroom, and she whispered a silent prayer of thanks. She had exhausted her cache of medicine the night before, so the pain would have to do.
A hateful memory from a million years ago surfaced, she could almost hear her squeaks followed by his rumbles.
_'Teach me to fight.'_
_'For what?'_
_'So I can be strong._ _I wanna be like you, Riddick.'_
_'Not a good thing to be.'_
She shook her head violently to clear the voices, pinched her leg hard enough to leave a bruise, and climbed underneath the showers scalding spray.
She watched as the rich garden soil slid down her legs in muddy stream. She watched it swirl hypnotically down the drain, watched as the water pelted the tile floor. Her mind began to grow fuzzy once more; voices of a time long past, old memories bubbling to the forefront.
The soil turned red, the tile became metal. She was back on the ship.
**Flashback**
_Twelve years old, she watched the blood wash off her bruised body and into the drain. Her hands were numb from the icy downpour, but warm water stung her cuts too much. Her hands fumbled the soap and it dropped to the floor. She tried to bend, but felt the stitches on her back pull taught under their plastic bandage. Tried to squat, but stopped as the ache between her legs began to burn fiercely. She stared down at the soap, hated it, hated everything. She began to cry._
_The ice water pelting down on her nearly bald head soon gave her a headache. She shut off the water, and leaned gingerly into the cold metal wall, trying desperately to stifle the sobs the wracked her body._
_The door to the medi-bay hissed opened, and she slipped out of the shower to pull shut the shower-room door. The heavy clump of a boot against metal made her freeze. Hand on the doorknob; she peered around the doorway, beginning to shake from something stronger than the cold._
_His broad back was to her, head bent over the medi-scan readout. He seemed to eat up all the space in the room, even just standing still._
_Another kind of pain welled inside of her, more acute than the collective pain of all her injuries. He hadn't checked on her at all in the past two days. She knew he had sewn her up after she had passed out again, because the stitches were perfect. All the same size, all neat, like a machine had done it. There probably wouldn't even be a scar. She wasn't sure how she felt about that._
_But why hadn't he checked on her? She knew he was mad…because she had fucked up. Because she had lost control, had followed that guy from the videogame store into that weird party. Because he had done…things… to her. Put stuff in her that she didn't want, hurt her._
_But why wouldn't Riddick check on her? Did he hate her?_
_The thought hurt. A lot. She tried and failed to control the soft whimper._
_He didn't move, but she knew he heard her. The muscles on his back tensed, she knew he was listening. His head came up slowly; she saw his fist clench._
_"Riddick," she whispered softly, inching out of the doorway, oblivious of her nakedness._
_He turned, still not facing her, and began walking swiftly to the door. She ran after him, suddenly terrified he would disappear. Her fingers curled into his shirt, but he jerked out of her grasp._
_Flinging herself fin between him and the door, she turned on him, unmindful of the snot and tears streaming down her face. His eyes remained covered by his goggles, but she knew he was looking behind her. At the door._
_"Why won't you_ look _at me," she screamed, hands pressing against her heart, "What did I do? Riddick, please tell me! "_
_He remained silent, hands loose at his sides. Like she wasn't there. She wished he would yell at her, hit her even…just acknowledge her existence. She heard footsteps in the hallway. Imam. She locked the door behind her._
_"Please," she cried, hiccupping as sobs wracked her frame. Her voice was hoarse from crying, but she yelled anyways, "Riddick, I'm sorry! I won't fuck up anymore I promise, just please-"._
_Her pleas died off and she slumped to the floor, completely overwhelmed with tears._
_He stepped beside her, unlocked the door that Imam had been pounding on and it slid open. As Imam tripped over Jack and into the room, Riddick slipped past her into the hallway. She caught his pant leg, he stopped._
_"Please," she whispered, ignoring Imam's outraged muttering as he wrapped a blanket around her naked shoulders. "I won't fuck up anymore, Riddick, I promise. I swear. Don't do this."_
_The only indication that he heard her was the curling and uncurling of his fists, and then he tugged his leg out of her grasp and faded into the darkness of the hallway._
**End Flashback**
Audrey jerked at the sound of glass shattering.
Her eyes flew open. She was standing in the hallway, soaking wet and naked. Abu stood at the top of the stairs, two shattered mugs at his feet.
She fled, slipped on the wet wood floor and fell hard. He hurried to her side but she scrambled up from the floor, lunged into her bedroom and slammed the door.
He was behind her immediately, rapping furiously on the door.
"Jack, what happened? Are you alright? Open this door."
"Yes, I-I am just not…felling well." Her voice cracked. "Don't call me that anymore, Imam."
She heard him yelling for Fatima.
"No," she cried, "I'm- I'm alright, baba, I promise. I just…I was just…confused. Don't call Fatima. I'll be alright. I'm fine."
"No, child," he said quietly, "no you are not fine."
"I will be," she replied quickly, desperate for him to leave, "I will be. I just need some sleep."
He reluctantly relented. She heard him clean up the glass, and soon his steps began down the stairs. She collapsed to the floor, shaking uncontrollably.
Riddick's laugh, dark and cruel, reverberated through her body.
* * *
The air was heavy with static; Abu could feel the electricity rippling across his skin, the prickling of hair on his neck and arms. A summer storm was coming.
Lajjun had suggested dinner in the garden before the rains arrived, and had helped Fatima and Salam set up the tables. Abu watched as she worked herself into frenzy.
She was hiding something; but he did not have the audacity to be angry with her. Not with the secret he held in his heart.
The bundle he had discovered that morning; it had hurt him in a way that nothing else ever had. A testament to the two nights of hell she had endured while Riddick systematically destroyed the Zorian Station searching for her. She had lost the life that had resided in her; most likely alone, definitely afraid. She had never spoken of it to him, and he had never thought to ask.
God help him, but he had failed her then. As her father, as her friend. He had never felt such strong self-loathing as he did staring at those blood crusted jeans. And now...
_Allow her to walk, by her own volition, into a life of definite pain; or send her, against her will, into a fathomless darkness, with a man who has caused her immeasurable pain already. So much has been pushed on her, forced on her. Could I bear becoming one more who has robbed her of her free will? Could she? Can there be a lesser of two evils? Let one child sacrifice herself for the other. My god, this is a burden I cannot bear…_
Looking around his garden, his fortress, it amazed him, frightened him, how thin the veil of security really was. Crickets chirruped in the bushes, but on the other side of that wall lay a city festering in its own corruption. Evidence of a young girl's rape and brutalization lay buried less than two feet underneath the grass where his daughter played.
_'How much faith do you have left father_?'
Those deceitfully concerned eyes and that dark cajoling voice…
_'Father_.'
He shook his head in disgust.
Lajjun was watching him from the kitchen window and looked away almost as quickly as he did. The sun was settling into the ocean, it's radiant light catching Ziza's eye.
"Look baba," she giggled, pointing toward the sunset, "the light is going bye-bye!" She waved frantically at the retreating sun. For a second he saw her, once again, standing shoulder deep in blood.
"Will it be back tomorrow," she asked, smiling at him.
He found it impossible to breathe; blinked back tears.
_I don't know. _
"Yes, my love. Yes, it will."
Through the sliding glass door he could see Audrey begin down the staircase. She slid soundlessly past the glass door and into the softly lit garden. He watched her eyes scan the ground as she padded through the grass.
She stopped dead as her eyes met the place where the flagstone was meant to be. In its stead stood a small stone angel, cradling an infant in its arms.
Her face contorted, and for a horrifying moment he feared he had made a terrible, terrible mistake. Her eyes locked onto his and they stared for what seemed an eternity. She inhaled visibly, once, twice, struggling to find her breath.
'Thank you,' she finally mouthed, obviously fighting the tears brimming in her eyes. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak, and watched from the corner of his eye as she tentatively knelt down and traced the angel's wings with her fingers.
A small flame of hope sparked in his heart. The clock inside struck seven.
_Twenty-five hours left. My god._
Audrey's eyes caught his in the fading light. She lowered her head. The flame flickered and went out.
8. Palaces and Princesses
**New Meccan Embassy, Helion Prime**
Private Adric held his radio up to his mouth. "All clear."
Turning to Audrey, he motioned for her to join him in the room. She hesitated in the doorway, wishing she had the ability to melt into the carpet. To disappear, cease existing.
"Miss al-Walid. Audrey. There's nothing to be afraid of."
She started, looked up at him incredulously. She wished her throat would work, so she could tell him how wrong he was. That there was _everything_ to be afraid of. Instead she threw her suitcase onto the bed and sat down next to it.
Adric, she supposed, was her body guard for the time being. He'd picked her up from Abu's estate in a government issued car. Talked to her on the ride to the Embassy. Explained to her the procedures of the next few days. He even held her when she broke into inconsolable tears, and then was kind enough to ignore her as she awkwardly tried to pull herself back together before they entered the Embassy gates.
Now he was kneeling in front of her, pale blue eyes crinkled in a kind smile. "Listen, I'll be right outside this door. " He moved away, towards the door. "Dinner will be up at eighteen hundred. That's six o'clock."
Audrey felt herself nod. "Okay."
Adric made to close the door, but she propelled herself after him, stopping when he turned back to face her. Ashamedly, she looked at the ground, hating herself for allowing the outburst.
"Would you…would you stay? I don't want to eat alone."
Silence, and then a tired sigh. He moved past her, dropped very unmilitary- like into a recliner and watched her closely. "Sure, kid. I'll eat dinner with you. It's the fucking least I can do."
* * *
Two hours later, she was eternally grateful to this man. He talked the entire time.
She was seated at the window, overlooking the Embassy grounds, halfway listening to the private's story. He had the wanderlust, and it made her hurt. Flashes of the New Johannesburg station, when traveling the universe was possible and monsters only existed in the books they read you at the orphanages.
"What happened to the Caliph's first wife," she asked, turning to look at him. He started at the sound of her voice; she'd been quiet for hours. She continued, "He has children, right? Sons?"
"Twin boys. She died in childbirth, I was just a kid, but it was all over the news."
He squirmed in his seat, licked his lips. "You look a lot like her, you know."
Audrey blinked, looked at him closer. "Excuse me?"
At that moment, the radio on Adric's belt squawked out a jumbled order, and he jumped to his feet.
"That'd be the Commander," he said, obviously relieved at the conversation's derailment. "Gotta run."
Somewhat stricken, she turned back to the window. She'd be alone with her thoughts. Never good.
_Two days. Two days, and I'll be off Prime and it won't hurt so much. _
Adric hovered behind her, she watched his reflection fiddle with the radio."Off the record?"
She looked over her shoulder, nodded once. _Who am I going to tell?_
"You're a smart girl," he said, picking his plate up off the bed, "I think you understand the way things are. The way they work here. Chrislam is the law; the Caliph is the fucking sheriff. I won't tell you not to be afraid, you should be. The trick is not to show it."
"I'm not afraid," she replied turning back to the window. "I'm not anything. I don't think I ever was."
His reflection nodded curtly, brushed imaginary lint from his pristine uniform, "Maybe that's best. "
* * *
The guard was dying, maybe already dead. She was tacky with his blood, her blood, fresh tears, another man's drying sweat.
_He was trying to save me._
The mattress dipped, squeaked and she tensed to the point of pain. The blankets rustled, deafeningly loud in the pressing darkness of the silent room. She felt the trickling pull of blood leaving her body as the man beside her fixed his lips to the congealing bite mark above her breast and suckled. She considered the phone on the bedside table, its cord a perfect length. He couldn't see her reaching in the dark, she didn't think.
The guard drew in a rattling breath, reminded her of the small but efficient dagger hidden in her tormentor's clothes. The phone seemed miles away.
His fingers on her throat were gentle though, stroking slow before moving on to knead her shoulders. The other hand traced the bruises his hipbones had left on her thighs, it hurt a little. Not enough to overpower the perverse anticipation she felt as his fingers inched inwards.
_Maybe this is how it's supposed to be._ The thought shook her, perhaps more than the blistering sensation of him thrusting into her.
He slid a pillow over her face, holding it gently. She tried to turn her head and the pressure increased tenfold.
_No, not like this. _
She panicked, pushing blindly at his face and torso as his thrusts increased. The weight of his hand fell directly over her face and she thrashed wildly. Lungs burning for air, she began slipping into a permanent darkness.
_I'm going to die. Right here. Underneath him._
The cool air hit her face like a slap, and she sucked air in greedily. His hips twitched against hers and then he was gone. She scrunched down into the covers and refused to breathe until she heard footsteps headed towards the door. A gurgling sound from the floor made her heart jerk painfully against her chest.
The guard was alive, and it sounded like he was trying to speak under water.
_Not water. Blood. _
She dissected it clinically, disjointedly.
_Puncture wound to the chest. His lungs are filling up with blood. He's suffocating. Because he came back for me. Because he heard me screaming. _
Rolling slowly to her side, she peered into the dark. Heard a squishing sound and knew it was Ibrahim's foot sinking into the blood soaked carpet around the young man.
_He should have walked away. He didn't even know me. _The surrealism of the entire night was quickly fading.
It wasn't a dream. The monster was real. He was really her husband. And that man on the floor had tried at the last minute to save her…and now he was _really_ dying.
The door cracked open, she saw his silhouette beckoning a guard. Another young soldier sidled through the door, pitiful in his combat fatigues. The hall light fell onto the bed; he looked at her, at the stained sheets, and looked away. The dim light stung her swollen eyes, but she did not miss the color draining from the soldier's face when Ibrahim motioned to the guard on the floor.
He swallowed visibly, averted his eyes.
_He was your friend_, she thought.
Ibrahim smoothed one hand down the soldiers face, soothingly. "It will be him or you both, my son. Choose wisely." He stepped over the body without a backwards glance and was gone.
The soldier now stood in the doorway, staring at Audrey with undiluted hatred. He unsheathed his knife and she recoiled back into the blankets, reaching wildly for a weapon she knew wasn't there.
He bent quickly, hand moving in a blurred arc across his comrade's throat. The weak spray of blood illuminated briefly in the hall light. Small gurgling sounds, then silence. She had the fleeting desire to tell him something comforting - that he was sparing his friend a drawn out death, perhaps- but as his eyes settled on her once more she was distinctly certain that if she opened her mouth, he would kill her for sure. The young man nodded once, as if to confirm her silent suspicions, cleaned his blade on the carpet and walked shakily from the room, leaving her in complete darkness.
She rolled back over, pressing her face into the mattress so the tears couldn't fall.
9. Deliver Us
**Helion Prime, New Mecca**
Dried dates had always been a favorite treat. She'd eat them, the whole container, one at a time. Wash down the sugary mush with sips of cold milk. Riddick had bought her a box of dates once; after she made him bleed for the first time. She only ate one a day, back then. It was the only present he had ever bought her, and they were the best things she had ever tasted.
But that was nothing but a fever dream now. Life with Riddick was just an irregular blip in an otherwise uneventful cycle of REM sleep. And the date she'd shared at the end of the wedding ceremony had the sickly sweet and slightly acrid after taste of vomit.
* * *
They'd be leaving in the morning, her and her husband and his soldiers. To her new home, she supposed. Or her prison, either way it didn't matter. She was already on her way to becoming somebody, something else. But for now, she supposed she was satisfied with just floating somewhere in the grey.
She pressed her face against the window and watched the rain splatter against the grounds below. She remembered vaguely, that she used to like summer storms. The warm rain, the smell of wet dirt.
There was sharp knock on the door and she turned towards it dully, "Come in."
Adric stepped through the door, closed it behind him and smiled thinly. "Madam," he bowed.
Without responding she curled into a recliner and stared at him. His fingers played with the radio, she heard it click. "You leave tomorrow, kid. I suggest you pull it together."
"What do you think I'm doing, Private Adric," she asked quietly, swiveling the chair around to face the window again.
The rain made his reflection waver and dance in the window. "You're falling apart. I saw your face at the ceremony this morning, you looked like death. Like it or not, this is your life now. You can't run from that fact."
Audrey froze, fingers digging into the recliner arms.
_I didn't run. I'm fighting. _And then, _I'm losing._
Her lips pressed thin, white with fury. "Get out."
Behind her, Adric nodded turned his radio back on and faced the door, "Your transport arrives at oh eight hundred. Be up by seven." He was gone, and she sank back into the recliner shaking.
She caught her reflection in the window and stared.
She was flushed, bright patches of pink standing out on her neck. Her hands shook, but not from fear. Finally, not from fear. Fresh, hot anger. She had almost cursed at him, almost told him to get the _fuck _out. She hadn't felt that good in years.
* * *
She was in the shower when the lights flickered, then died. She froze, listening , then shut off the water.
Stepping silently from the shower she wrapped herself in a fluffy towel, "Lights."
Nothing. A little louder she called, "Lights on." No lights.
She slipped into the main room, and paused as her mind tried to comprehend what she was seeing.
Glass was strewn across the floor, glittering with the pulsating red glow of the emergency lights. Emergency lights and blood. She tripped over the body trying to get to the phone, it was dead.
_Of course it would be_, something mocked in her head.
Clutching her towel tight she turned to the man on the floor. It was Adric, his kind blue eyes were wide open, and he too was most definitely dead. She dropped beside him whispering to herself, "No. No, no, no." Her hands fell to his chest, felt the handle protruding, she jerked back as if burned. Looking closer in the strobing light she could see it clearly.
The inlay, the grooves. She slapped her hand over her mouth, retching. She knew that knife.
Something ugly was working its way through her body, telling her that this was wrong, wrong, wrong. The broken window, the absence of guards, the familiar handle.
Her body, her mind screamed 'run'. She did, holding the towel around her she gave one last look to Adric and stumbled out of the room and into the hallway, into blackness.
Completely blind, listening to the staccato bursts of gunfire from the grounds below, she felt her way down the hall. Her hands, outstretched hit something impossibly warm, impossibly hard. Before she could scream she was hefted up over a shoulder and carted off down the hall and into the stairwell.
Ineffectively, she tried to dislodge herself from the man's shoulder, twisting and kicking. The grip around her legs increased until she cried out, and the man continued to ascend the stairs.
Something below them exploded, rocking the entire foundation of the building. She felt scorching air start to blister her skin, but as her captor rounded a corner, her head connected with a wall and she knew no more.
10. City On A Hill
**New Mecca, Helion Prime**
"...not clear as to the condition of…"
"Minimize media exposure…"
"…fire has been contained in the southeast quadrant of the Embassy…"
Abu drifted in and out of the conversations going on around him. The room was vibrating, pulsing with energy, and it was giving him a splitting headache.
He'd been awakened in the middle of the night by a unit of soldiers breaking down his front door. His immediate anger and confusion had turned into horrified realization when Lajjun had whispered in his ear, "She is safe. Deny everything."
Now, his eyes fixed upon the surveillance shots pinned to a board in the back of the room.
Riddick, materializing from the shadow behind some oblivious soldier. Snapping his neck. Planting a package.
Riddick, eyes glowing in the infrared light. Head tilting towards the camera, smirking.
Riddick, standing in the dark hallway waiting for Audrey, watching her stumble towards him.
Abu shuddered and moved away, towards the center of the conference room.
Two men sat at one end of the room's one table, both in uniform, both murmuring furiously. They were hunched over stacks of files; Abu felt in his soul they were Riddick's records. Maybe Jacqueline's too, for all he knew. He'd convinced them of his ignorance, but they'd connected the dots between Riddick and Jack alarmingly fast.
"We've shut down the spaceport," one explained, drawing his finger across a map, "and implemented road blocks along all the major routes. He's not getting out of this city. Not alive."
Abu collapsed into a seat next to them, considered telling them they knew nothing but what Riddick allowed them to.
But that would shatter his cover.
Abu let his eyes wander up the table, past the soldiers, past the Minister's and Council members. Ibrahim sat silently, simmering, fingers drumming on the table.
News blared from the television in the corner of the room. "A bounty has been reissued for convicted murderer Richard B. Riddick, in the amount of eight million universal credits-"
Abu wilted in his seat, jaw going slack. _My god. Every hunter in the quadrant…down on his head. On hers. _
* * *
She awoke on a sandy floor, grit in her eyes and mouth. She tried to stand but the dull ache in her head skyrocketed and she collapsed back onto the blanket she had been laying on, gasping in pain. She drifted in and out of consciousness for hours, days, she didn't know. When she woke, there was a bottle of water and some soup still in its can beside her. She inhaled both, scooping the cold soup into her mouth with dirty fingers.
Standing, she wrapped the blanket around her torso and took a few tentative steps towards the only source of light. The window was filthy, crusted with dirt almost entirely blocking out the sunlight.
She looked out, down, and was overwhelmed with vertigo. Shaking she pushed away from the window and huddled down against the wall.
Looking around she located the pipes, the speaker that would broadcast the adhan to the entire city.
_The minaret al-Nur…_
There was a knock from beside her and whirling around she saw a woman slip through a door that she hadn't seen.
"Lajjun."
Audrey's feet sent the empty water bottle skidding across the floor and into the shadows in her rush. She collided with Lajjun, clung onto the woman's clothes. Lajjun, in return kissed her forehead, smoothed her hair down her back, held her as she shook.
"Are you hurt, child," she asked quietly.
Audrey, still wrapped around the woman, shook her head. "What's going on?"
Tutting, Lajjun held her back at arms length, "Why are you not dressed? Where are your clothes?"
Audrey blinked, pulled back. "My clothes? Lajjun what's-"
The water bottle rolled slowly back into the light, coming to a stop at her toes. She stared at it, trying to understand why that wasn't right. She was knocked to the floor, breath whooshing out, before she could.
The older woman was jerked violently back into the dark, and a thick arm, a man's arm snaked out around her throat.
Audrey sat back up; her fingers curling around the soup can. Lajjun's eyes swiveled to the can, she lifted an eyebrow and Audrey let it roll from her fingers.
Tendons twitched in Lajjun's neck as she fought to keep her composure, harsh metallic blue glinting against her mahogany skin.
Lajjun licked her lips, closed her eyes. "Mr. Riddick, I presume."
Audrey could not process the response, only the sound of his voice rolling out of the shadows like a cloud. She closed her eyes, breathed, and opened them again. He was crouching in front of her, melting in and out of shadow. She stared stupidly, reaching out to touch his face, resolute in her belief that he would waft away and she would wake up at home.
His stubble was rough against her palm. There was the perversely gratifying sting of a needle in her arm, and then nothing but more blissful warmth and darkness.
* * *
Lajjun watched him gracefully lower the girl's body. He was gentle, almost reverent.
And then he stood, regally, seeming to absorb the light itself. Her eyes flicked to the needle in his hand.
"Was that necessary?"
He glanced back down to the girl, shrugged, "She'll live."
Lajjun nodded, shaken, and made her way over to a crate, trying not to completely collapse onto it. When she glanced back up he was across the room, leaning against the widow frame, studying her.
"I don't have much time," she said warily, "I have half now. You will receive the rest when she is returned to us. Alive."
He shrugged again. "And if she isn't?"
Lajjun stumbled over her words, "You-you said-."
He grinned maliciously, tilted his head. "I said what?"
"You'd see to her safety-."
The grin disappeared, his face grew dark. "I'll keep Jack safe."
She tried to swallow. When he held out his hand, she flinched, reaching hastily into her robes. The felt the air shift, then the cold sting of steel against her throat, again. Slowly, she withdrew her hand, dropped the credit chips on the floor and the blade disappeared.
He plucked the chips up, moved back to his space, read the amounts on them. "That bad, huh?" He snorted, threw the chips into a pack. "Where's the Imam?"
"Dealing with the authorities, I assume. He needed to be uninvol-."
Static from the speakers cut her short, and the muezzin's voice began to pour into the room, surrounding them, shaking dust from the high rafters.
Riddick moved to the window, looked down on the crowd below. The fading sunlight played shadows along his copper skin, highlighting the scars that flecked his arms. Broad shoulders, defined arms. Rugged hands with long fingers, like an artist. He was beautiful, ethereal and terrifying, brooding over the praying crowds. Like some god-king in a tower, on a hill.
The call ended, she prayed quickly. For her. Her husband, their daughter. For Audrey, if she had been wrong about Riddick, about his intentions.
When she her eyes again he was still in the window, lip curled in disdain.
"They're giving thanks," she whispered vacantly, eyes wandering now over the bruises on Audrey's prone form.
The dull chopping of helicopter blades vibrated through the room and Riddick stepped back from the window laughing, "What the fuck for? This city's gone to shit."
"This is a magnificent city," she argued. _It was. It could be again. _
His lips twisted into a derisive smirk. He pushed up the dark lenses he wore, eyes glinting like mirrors.
She shrunk back, _Windows to the soul..._
"You're paying a convict to save a girl from a holy man. I'd cut fence."
"The men of the Asharal line are the only leaders this faith has ever recognized," she replied briskly. "Ibrahim has corrupted that, perverted it. The people would fight, I'm sure, if they had a goal to fight for. But abandoning their homeland, the land of their faith, is not an option."
"Always a choice." He turned back to the dirty window, back to the kneeling masses. "These people just keep making the wrong ones."
"I would think you of all people would know that life does not offer everyone a choice." She stood, pulled her cloak over her head. The collective hum of the worshippers below was fading and she was counting on being able to blend into the crowd.
She dropped beside Audrey once more, kissed her head and walked quickly to the door.
Something niggled in the back of her mind. She turned, almost screamed when her nose brushed up against his chest.
He stared down at her, face completely unreadable.
Unnerved by his closeness, she backed out of the door, "You should know; she has a warrior's heart. She couldn't have discovered that here. She would never have had the chance. Keep her safe...please."
Behind him Audrey begin to stir. Lajjun looked to him, eyes searching. He swung the door shut.
When she emerged from the stairwell, the streets were dark. She slipped out into the crowd, eyes alert, taking in everything. Search lights from the helicopters, the ruins of a once beautiful city, the soldiers threaded throughout the crowd. Felt the surging electricity in the air, the pressing humidity. Looking up could see his outline, faintly, watching her through the layers of dust. As she watched he slid back, melded with the dark.
11. Twilight Kingdom
**A big 'thank you' to all reviewers. :)**
* * *
**Fringes of the Helion System**
She woke abruptly . Completely pinned between a metal table and a glass slide, like an insect. Totally naked and unbelievably cold. There was a loud hum from above her, the red flash of a laser, and a quiet hiss. The slide lifted, released her, and she rolled over gingerly, stiff and aching.
Her head pulsed with every heart beat, vision blurred around the edges. She made out the glare of fluorescent lights, beeps of machinery, whir of air purifiers.
She pushed herself up, arms shaking. She glanced around, trying to reason with the growing discomfort.
The room was sterile, almost uncomfortably so, it had to be military. But it was so familiar.
She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering, she breaths puffed out in front of her. She slid awkwardly off the table, and walked unsteadily to what she assumed was the exit.
She called for the door to open, tried to slide it, push it, and finally beat on it. Nothing happened. Her teeth begin to chatter, she rubbed her arms furiously.
There was a smaller, closet sized door across the room, and out of a mix of desperation and curiosity she hobbled over to it. A washbasin, pullout toilet, and small shower stall. Her unease shifted into a burning anxiety in her gut, but she had to pee and the temptation of hot water trumped all thoughts.
She waited until steam was billowing from the stall before jumping in. The water prickled and burned but she groaned in appreciation, and sunk down against the warm metal wall to defrost.
She was trying to remember where she was and how she got there when a noise drew her out the shower. She crept towards the door.
The smell hit her first, a stark contrast to the odorless room. Sweat and leather and hand chalk.
And then he was there, leaning against the bed she'd been on, flipping through some charts.
_This isn't right. He was facing away from me and-_
She saw a glimmer behind the goggles. "Towels're in the same place, Jack."
She jumped at his voice, blinking in confusion. "But-."
_But this-_
"This isn't a dream." She sagged against the wall, suddenly exhausted, devastatingly empty.
It's wasn't a dream. It wasn't a dream or a memory and Adric, her friend, was dead. And _he _was here, very much alive, very real. And she remembered everything. All of it. All over again.
He smirked a little and all of a sudden she was twelve years old again, "Welcome home."
* * *
Tracker scan had come back clean, she wasn't bugged. But she didn't smell right. Blood smelled toxic, stank of fear and death and that made him pause. Put him in a cloud of something ugly and black.
She'd been doped up, and not with what he'd given her either. The puncture wounds were encircled in little contusions, framed in long scratches. Inside her thighs, underneath her breasts. Places that no one would ever see on an Imam's daughter. Made sense.
Couldn't help but notice that he and hubby had some common interests, but his bite wouldn't have been so deep and sloppy. That would take a graft to heal right. Some motherfuckers had no common sense.
He put her back to sleep because she wouldn't stop crying, wouldn't stop cringing away from him. Wouldn't even take the fucking drink he brought her. Even after she'd puked herself dry.
Stupid kid. She'd be begging for those electrolytes when the muscle spasms set in.
Never put your body at a disadvantage. Didn't she remember that? Obviously not, but she'd learn.
She'd have no choice. Couldn't have her fear clogging up his head, it made him want to ravage. Who knew how long they'd be in the Black alone?
Wasn't expecting to see the girl again. Wasn't safe. Not after what she made him do on that station…
**Flashback**
_She'd finally managed to slip the chains. They'd been working on that for weeks. She'd been excited enough to hug him, didn't even blush when he stared her down._
_She liked the dates, thanked him daily, so he palmed a bottle on his way out of the marketplace. Carbonated, smelled like liquid sugar and fruit, something she'd like._
_The look on the holy man's face stopped him cold. And then, "She's gone."_
_He felt the crunch of glass in his hand, pineapple soda and blood dripped onto the metal ramp. _
_The first two stores went up like matches; in the third he found her scent. Ended up outside some house, listening to music dying down, watching people stumble into the street. He slipped into the door, locked it. No one else left. _
_Found her shoe in the alley outside the apartment, laces torn, 'J.B.B' written on the side. Picking it up he saw the drops of blood. Pushed his way into the dingy room, the walls were saturated with her fear, he choked on it. _
_Felt a brief vibrating hum, then a delicate snap in the back of his brain. The next few hours came in fragments of sensation. Metal scraping bone. Knuckles dislodging teeth. Fingers digging into tracheal rings. _
_Underneath him, the man's head had spread across the tile and he vaguely felt his finger fracture with the last blow. _
_Then she was curled in his arms, half dead. And he was collapsed against the alley wall, feeling her blood burn a trail down his stomach, trying not to scream._
12. Fever Dreams
_She was running from nothingness. A dark, roaring void trying to consume her. She wanted to run so badly it hurt, but she was made of lead, running through sand. The roaring grew louder. She ran harder, struggled up the rolling, endless dunes. Away from the void. She stumbled, dropped and rolled down the mound. She squeezed her eyes shut waiting to be sucked into the darkness, but it never came. _
_She peeked through her lashes, found herself in a barren field. The ground was charred, everything dead. _
"_Hey, kid." _
_She whirled towards the voice, uncoordinated and heavy. _
_It was her a million lifetimes ago, almost. Pixie short hair, pale from months in space, the devil in her smile. But then she was also older, harder, stronger. _
"_What-who," Audrey spluttered. And then, lamely, "I was running."_
_The younger-older version of herself tossed back her head and laughed loudly. "No shit." She sobered a little, but still chuckling said, "All in good time, kiddo. We have a while."_
_Audrey flushed, confused. "Who are you?"_
"_You," the girl-woman replied pleasantly, "and then some. I'd say 'you, but better', personally, but I'm probably biased. And besides, he won't admit it, but he always did have a thing for that 'damsel in distress' bullshit."_
"_You're not me," Audrey whimpered, stepping back awkwardly. "This is insane."_
_"Insane." Her double said the word slowly, deliberately, like she was tasting the word. Then she laughed again, "It's all relative. And hell no, I'm not __**just**__ you. They'd have launched the thousand ships for __**me**__. " She sighed, clicked her fingers and a thunderous explosion rocked the ground. Her smile was now terrifying. _
_The void was back, circling down from above, eating the sky. Audrey tried and failed to move, "Help me!"_
_The girl bent down, plucked something from the blackened ground. "Oh, I am." _
_She extended her hand, uncurled it, revealed a shockingly green blade of grass. "Think of it as slash and burn."_
_The emptiness funneled down, kissed the ground, sucking in everything. Audrey choked on a scream and there was nothing but blackness._
And then there was light. Light and metal and the smell of disinfectant. She registered a moment of warm tranquility. And then her body began to spasm, stomach twisting and caving in on itself. She rolled over, pressed her face into the starched sheets and let the pain come.
* * *
He was out of bed and in the hallway before it dawned on him. Withdrawal. Seen it a million times in slam, but knowing it was her made him angry. He leaned into the wall, listening to her wails.
It'd hurt like a bitch, but she'd live.
He returned to his bed, let the door hiss shut behind him. Her voice rang through the ventilation system, "Riddick!"
_Interesting_. She'd been trying to climb through the wall to get away from him earlier.
She called him again, faintly, voice breaking, and he came. Stood outside the medi-bay door, listening, waiting. There was a painful heaving sound then, more persistent, "Riddick!" He hit the access pad.
She was shivering, sweating, retching and moaning all at once. He paused at the doorway, somewhere between anger and disgust. She was sweating poison and it reeked. _Goddamn_. Only hard vacuum would get rid of that smell.
"Please," she croaked, "I know – I know you're there."
He came up to the bed, watched her eyes roll around in the dark. A violent spasm hit her and then, "Oh god, make it stop. Please." He called for low lights, helped her sit up and sip water in between spasms. It'd help with the dehydration. She'd have to ride out the pain on her own.
She struggled feebly as he peeled off the drenched t-shirt, lapsed back into a semi-conscious delirium.
Riddick made a mental note that at some point the girl was going to need clothes of her own. He couldn't wash the stink of fear out of the ones he lent her.
That would be later. For now, she'd have to sweat out whatever the fuck was in her system. And then...he'd have to see. Something had changed.
She'd been terrified before. And now, well she'd called for him. When pain had stripped everything else away, she had remembered his name.
* * *
MMM, a little short, yes? No worries, more to come. I like to break it up.
13. Secret Keepers
**(A/N: Thanks to ****Saismaat**** for the feedback and suggestions.)**
**New Mecca, Helion Prime**
When the phone rang he knew that something had gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Her voice on the other end confirmed.
"Abu, I have been detained for questioning."
Ziza knocked on his study window, pressed her nose against the glass smiling broadly.
He failed to keep his voice from cracking, "Are you alright?"
She paused for a beat too long and then, "Yes. Please send a car..."
Ziza knocked again, more persistent, curious as to why her father wasn't participating in their game. Salam appeared behind her, cooed something, and led her away.
Abu had a sudden irrational flare of fear and anger. Someone was taking her away from him, out of his sight. He heard her laugher floating across the backyard, knew she was safe, and began to breathe again.
"Abu? Are you there?" He jumped, looked at the phone. _Lajjun, of course_.
"Yes. A car. Of course," he said mechanically. "Of course."
He hung up, pushed away from his desk, winced as a picture of Audrey clattered to the ground. The glass spider nictitated, shot webs that obscured everything but her eyes. He nicked a finger on the shards as he grabbed the frame; a drop of blood seeped through the tiny fissures and tinged her smile red.
* * *
The silence was absolute. Uninterrupted save for the clinking of forks against plates.
She watched his face. He watched his plate. Three days and he still hadn't told her why she was here. Hadn't told her anything.
Left her in the silence, alone with strange thoughts and violent memories. Memories of training with him, laughing, crying. Of killing for him, dying for him.
Thoughts came in bursts; short fits of crystal clear purpose, periods of absolute uncertainty.
But she was relatively sure he wasn't going to kill her.
_Better dead than crazy. _
"God, Riddick why am I here? What do you want?"
She knew she sounded upset. _Where else to do I have to be? Underneath Ibrahim. Locked in some palace._
"Because you need to be."
She started at the sound of his voice, realized that she hadn't actually expected an answer.
"But why?" She stopped, considering. "You think I told, don't you?"
He barked out a laugh that stunned her into silence. He looked surprised himself, and began collecting plates, making it clear she'd been dismissed.
The abrupt anger scared her. It felt incongruously freeing. "What the hell do you want from me?"
He turned on her, and she was suddenly very, very small. She watched, mesmerized, as a delicate curved blade materialized in his hands. Watched him twirl it thoughtfully around scar flecked fingers. He extended his hand, offering the knife. She recoiled slightly, sitting up and drawing her knees close.
"Remember how to use one of these," he asked quietly, hand still extended.
"In another life," she said guardedly, eyes focusing determinedly on the wall above his head.
He withdrew his arm. "A life you wanted."
Her chair clattered to the floor as she stood abruptly. Words flew from her mouth, unchecked.
She felt the air shift, and knew nothing else.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000
He'd pulled the punch, at the last minute, when he'd remembered who she was. But he had to leave the room. Before he really hurt her. She'd be down for a while and he needed to rein it in.
He'd been second guessing himself, something that rarely happened, about what to do with her. Taking her back to the holy man wasn't even an option. An eight million cred bounty made that clear. It wasn't even about her anymore. Hubby'd probably just kill her; compromised honor and all that shit.
She was terrified of cryo. He wondered when that had started to matter.
_Fuck this_. He wasn't dropping her off, and he didn't have to explain it. Wasn't up to her either way.
He situated himself at the control panel, began moving accounts, cleaning up his trail. Seven years of relative isolation and people still remembered.
Work usually cleared his mind. But the girl kept creeping back in and he found himself hacking the Helios Academy database, accessing her files.
_Smart girl. Coulda gone places. _And then, after a moment's consideration: _Still can_.
He heard her begin to shuffle around the ship, heading back towards the medi-bay. Wondered if she was going to cry, and if he cared either way.
He'd let her rest, or cry, or whatever the fuck she needed to do for an hour. And then he'd come for her.
* * *
**New Mecca, Helion Prime**
Her small cool hand on his shoulder was a pleasant contrast to the scalding water. He leaned back into her, let her wrap her small arms around his waist.
He loved his wife, more than he'd believed possible. The daughter she'd given; the daughter she'd accepted. She was a light in the dark unforgivable world that had once been his home.
She flourished under the Council's surveillance; maintained their home when Fatima and Salam had involuntarily resigned, also the Council's doing.
When she murmured, "She is safe, my love," into his ear he believed her; and when she led him by the hand into their bed, he did not protest. He found his solace in her body, in her quiet pleas. Afterwards, he held her and wept until sleep pulled him under.
_Audrey was anything but safe. She was sitting in front of him, not quite dead, definitely not alive. Decaying rapidly. He watched as something underneath her skin took on an almost human form. Her face fragmented, bleeding through the cracks. She looked at him amused, "Hullo daddy"._
He jolted awake, swallowing a scream. He sat in the dark, listening to the quiet noises associated with an old house. Lajjun was dozing peacefully, wrapped in the entirety of the comforter. He touched her arm lightly, halfway hoping she'd wake up and distract him from replaying his dream. She didn't.
He walked to the bathroom, stumbling over their discarded towels. His glasses were on the sink and when he put them on he glanced around the elaborate room. The marble counters and tub. The gold-leafed ceiling and ornate towel holders.
_This entire house is a prison. _
The Council had tapped their phones, seized his computer for evidence. Desecrated their home.
There had not been one unguarded conversation between him and his wife since she'd been called in for questioning.
_Except…_
"_She's safe, my love. Riddick gave me his word that he would see to her safety. He has been paid well; he has no reason to harm her."_
He frowned, remembering her whispered reassurance.
"Shower on."
_Of course…_
The hiss of the water was loud enough to obscure any conversation.
She picked that time specifically to come to him, to talk to him. She'd planned it, without his knowledge. Just like she'd planned Jack's kidnapping.
He stared unseeingly at the running water until the preset timer turned it off; and then he climbed back into and watched her sleep for the rest of the night.
* * *
14. Exiting
* * *
She lived her life within the soft glow of the bedside light. Reading, praying, thinking.
Everything beyond that was cause and effect.
He called, she came.
He cooked, she ate.
He swung, she ducked.
Except when she didn't and ended up in on the floor, stunned, breathless and in pain. And still he never relented.
But there were times when she landed a successful blow and was twelve again; enjoying the closeness of his body, laughing when he missed and cursing when he didn't.
Until the spar was over and the silence was uncomfortable, pressing, absolute. And then he was less of a friend and more of a captor.
It always ended with him looming above her, breathing hard, chest not quite touching hers. Sometimes she'd turn her head, stare hard at the wall, pretend he wasn't there. Other times she'd close her eyes and just allow him to be close, let his breath ruffle her hair, and his body heat warm her face and arms. It was nice.
Three weeks in, she noticed a change, an up in his brutality.
He was on her the second she'd stepped into the dojo. She was able to duck, collect herself and move to a more defensive position. But there was no denying him, no escaping his blows.
She dodged, weaved, eluded until she miscalculated and he hit her hard enough to make stars explode in her head. She went sprawling. Stayed on the floor watching the blood drip from her nose and puddle on the mat.
"Get up." He was behind her, demanding, impatient. Angry.
"Thought we were pulling punches. Asshole."
He remained silent, radiating anger from his position in the corner.
She pushed to her feet, loped to the door. "I don't know what's wrong with you. And I don't care. I'm going."
"Gym, lock down."
She retracted her hand before the gym door slammed shut. Could feel the blood trickling down her shirt_, _his eyes heavy between her shoulder blades.
Words wouldn't come so she closed her eyes, waiting for the blow. Waiting for pain and then the blood and then the darkness.
_He's going to kill me. After all this. He's still going to kill me. _
She felt betrayed.
_Don't be stupid. He's not on my side. I don't even have a side. _
His hand settling on the access pad on the wall beside her startled her out of her thoughts. His eyes caught hers and for a second her feelings of betrayal were written all over his face. He almost looked sorry.
_What the hell?_
And then he was Riddick again, something incomprehensible, unreachable.
He slipped into the darkness of the hallway.
She allowed herself two minutes of consideration, and then set off after him.
He was at the bridge, in the chair that seemed to have always belonged to him.
"Get out of here."
Her body responded to his command, jerked as if to hasten away.
_No, godammit. _
"What's the issue, Riddick? I want to know if I'm going to have to worry about you killing me in my sleep tonight."
It was silent forever. She waited for him to spring up, to be the monster that she knew he was, kill her, cut her, end her.
Instead he swung around in his chair, dropped the tele-reader he'd been holding at her feet and brushed past her, knocking her against the bridge's railing.
She waited a full three minutes, until she was sure he had gone, before picking up the reader . Bending over put her at a disadvantage if he decided to attack.
The thought made her snort, and then giggle, and then laugh until her lungs ached.
Sitting, standing, sleeping. It didn't matter. When he got tired of her, he'd kill her. She was living on his whim.
That stopped the laughter. She settled into his chair. Felt the leather, worn from use, warm from his skin. Felt distinctly out of place, got up and moved to the co-pilot's chair.
It felt like home.
The reader's screen brightened at her touch. A Helion tabloid.
_God, is that how I looked?_
A cow-eyed girl, a wraith of a girl stared up from the reader. Next to her was the compulsory deadpan mugshot of Riddick. The headline read, 'The Devil's Bride'.
She chuckled humorlessly at the reporter's accuracy.
And then pictures of Abu and Lajjun. A dull aching throb started between her eyes and in her chest. She wondered if Abu even knew, how worried he must be.
She scrolled down further, jerked, and the reader fell from her fingers.
A face, old and wrinkled and impossibly familiar stared up blindly from the screen.
_It was cold when she woke up. A hard, biting cold that made her shudder underneath the itchy wool blankets. It was a long moment before she could focus in the dim light. _
_The children were on the far side of the hut, stacked almost like firewood against each other. _
_There was cold gruel congealing in the bowl by her cot, she scooped it into her mouth. It made her stomach burn. Her whole body burned. _
_The old woman muttered in her sleep, rolled over, shivering. Jack stood, draped her blanket around the woman. Spotted her clothes in the corner and dressed quickly. _
_Grey cargoes had the rusty brown stain of blood up and down the legs. Old lady must've tried to wash them. They were freezing as she pulled them on, not bothering to fasten buttons. The hem of her sweater was the same. It didn't matter. _
_At the door there was a basket, surrounded by flowers, under a fine white lace. Jack tore the basket open and gently picked up the bundle inside. _
_The streets were dark and cold and empty save for a few stray mutts. Her feet beat against the pavement, tears drying on her face as she ran. _
_Gradually the city thinned out and she was running through the fields. Her foot hit a rock and she went sprawling, bundle flying from her arms. She hit cold dirt and slid. She lay there until the call of birds roused her. _
_She had to get home. _
_She picked up the bundle again and the cloth fell open. __A tiny hand, what could've been a leg. Jack wrapped it up secure, cradled it close to her chest and walked._
_Early morning workers silently watched as she walked alone, unthinking, unfeeling down the middle of the road. She made it to the hills and continued on mechanically. _
_The gate was easy enough to scale. And the dirt in the garden was soft and moist. She stripped, dropped her clothes in the hole, lowered in the bundle. Covered it with the heaviest piece of flagstone she could find. _
_Cargoes, boots, and knives. Things she'd collected, cherished, loved. All into the incinerator. She watched them burn, and started anew. _
_No Jack. No running. No Riddick. _
_Control was all she needed. Pain would be her reminder. _
_She showered, scrubbed, erased herself. _
_She made Abu breakfast, managed to grin at his surprised smile. _
_Sat down across from him, "Morning…baba."_
The reader beeped in her lap. Dead battery. She let it shut itself down.
That morning was crystal clear, etched into her mind like a vid scene. Something for someone else's life.
She couldn't summon the will to cry.
Absentmindedly fingered the frayed harnesses of her chair, ran her hands along the armrests.
_Feels like home. _
She'd almost forgotten the pressing black of deep space. How much she loved it, appreciated it.
And how much she had used to like the idea that she and Riddick and Abu were their own civilization. Their own world within a tin-can space ship.
_How fucking stupid could I have been?_
From her seat she could see some far off system cutting through the absolute nothingness like a gaping, glittering wound.
* * *
**Ah, winter break. Time to tend to my much neglected stories. I thank you all for all the feedback. **
15. Underlie
If anything, knocking her around made it worse. It had taken longer than usual to bring himself out of the ugly red haze. Recognized that it had everything to do with her.
He'd been sifting through the Helion news out of boredom more than anything else. Found a heading that caught his eye. It had been amusing enough to deserve a read.
That feeling had faded quickly.
Some old woman, dragged up from some shit-hole alley, talking about Jack. About finding a bloody little girl outside of her hut. And a baby.
His mind shut down at that. He went after her on auto-pilot.
Couldn't find a reason to apologize when it was over. Wouldn't change a damn thing.
Part of him acknowledged that there was something prickly there. Something that he might've acted on when he was playing nice for the holy man. Not so much now.
Still, it bothered him.
He relented, followed her sounds into the galley.
She was leaning over the counter, peeling apart an orange, bloody towel sitting on the counter. He reached for the shelf above her head. She ducked away from him.
"Problem?"
"At the moment? Everything I eat tastes like blood. Besides that, I couldn't be better. "
"Gargle."
He reached back onto the shelf, liberated a tin of salt. "Here."
She hesitated, he waited for her to take it from his hand. Wanted to make her touch him for some fucked up reason. "Not gonna hurt you."
Her body slumped in the sudden absence of tension, but she managed to keep her voice wary, "Used to be a time when I would have believed that."
_Me too._ _But who knows now? _
She gargled, spit in the sink.
He leaned a hip against the counter, she mirrored him automatically. He watched, with growing amusement as she caught herself, blushed, started to fidget.
Stayed like that for a long time. Watching her watch the floor. He liked watching her. Didn't want to dig further into that.
Finally she looked up, past his face, into the dark behind him. "You knew, didn't you?"
He stared for a minute. "Knew what?"
"That I was…like that. When you left. I'd always assumed…"
"No. I didn't." He stepped closer, pleased that she didn't flinch away. Much . "You assumed…?"
Too quickly, "Nothing. I just- nothing. I thought you knew."
_Thought I left because you were knocked up. Stupid kid. That could've been fixed._
He told her so. She looked at him, stricken. He explained the process, quickly, clinically.
"Could've been training in three days tops. Didn't know."
She collected herself remarkably fast.
"Yeah. Neither did I," she said evenly. And then, faintly, "I didn't even have any money. I was just…wandering around the market. Thought I had to pee, you know. And then in the alley…it was so loud in market. No one heard me. No one came. I thought I was dying."
_She gave birth alone. In a dirty alley. Alone. Feet from help. _
_Don't know the alley was dirty. _
_It doesn't fucking matter. Jesus._
"Where the fuck was Imam?" It surprised him, the force behind that question. The outrage that accompanied it. Surprised her too apparently.
She blanched, blinked rapidly. "I-I dunno. Working."
"While you bled out in the street."
She shook her head, rapidly, "He didn't know."
"He the one who married you off, too?"
_Should've grabbed his woman._
She made a strangled noise, "No. God, no. Why would you think that?"
He shrugged. "His woman's the one paying me. Said he didn't even know."
"Paying you?" She was quiet for a long time and then, "God, I'm so stupid. I'm just a job. Jesus. And I thought…" she trailed off, shook her head in disbelief.
_Thought I came to your rescue. Cause I missed you. Wanted to see you._
Almost laughed. Didn't. Wasn't really sure she was wrong.
_Didn't throw her in cryo. Started training her again. _
_Whatever_.
It didn't matter why he'd come. He showed up, collected his pay, done his part. Hadn't even killed anyone he wasn't supposed to.
He brushed her away, peered inside the cooler. Kinda empty. He eyed her, annoyed. She'd been sneaking food. How had he not noticed that?
_Not exactly sneaking. Didn't tell her **not** to. _
"So why did you leave then, Riddick?"
He closed the door, leaned against it. Studied her. Less annoyed, more interested. It was strange having another heartbeat to listen to. Having that new-familiar scent drifting around. Seeing soft curves where there used to be hard angles. Enjoyed discovering those new soft places during workouts though.
She crossed her arms over her chest, reddening.
_Right. She can see too. _
He grinned wolfishly, took his time meeting her eyes. "Seemed like the thing to do, kid. Didn't know he was so fucking useless."
The shyness melted right off. He watched her bristle, bathed in the heat of her anger.
"Don't pretend like you could've done better. You couldn't have. You didn't. You didn't even try."
Her wrist was like glass in his hand. She didn't struggle. He pulled her close, breathed over her shoulder, down her back.
He let his voice drop, whispered, "Yeah, you're probably right. Never was very good at playin' make believe though."
He felt her shudder run through him like a live current.
_What the fuck?_
She was tense underneath his hands. But beneath that…
He grinned, inhaled deep. _Some things you can't fake. _
His reaction wasn't expected. Wasn't unpleasant either.
And he couldn't stop. Didn't really want to. She was calling for him. Her lips weren't moving. But he heard it, felt her words crawling around beneath his skin.
He captured her free wrist, secured them both in one of his hands. Continued his pursuit with the other. Appreciated the feel of full hips under his fingertips. Slid his hand underneath the shirt she was wearing and appreciated the skin there too.
* * *
His lips on hers shifted her into gear. She struggled and his grip got tighter. She twisted her head away and his lips found her neck.
His hand cupped her breast, warm and frighteningly pleasant. He messaged her not quite gently, but with a lot less force than he was capable of.
_He wants you to want this. _
"If you're going to rape me, do it."
In the semi dark she could see his eyes glint thoughtfully.
_Stupid. Shut up. _Her mouth and mind worked autonomously. "You don't need me to enjoy it."
He breathed a laugh into her ear, started fingering the knotted material at her hip.
The sarong she'd fashioned puddled at her feet.
She crumpled against him. He drew her closer, breathing fast and heavy. Played his fingers over hipbones, along her thigh.
She held onto him tighter. "You _are_ a monster."
His chuckle vibrated against her sternum, "You think so, kid?"
His tongue was hot against her skin, she shivered. "Yeah. I do."
"Probably right." He stroked the inside of her thigh affectionately. Thoughtfully. "But so were you. Once upon a time. My little monster in training."
He paused, seemed to like that thought, came on stronger.
His breath scorched its way down her back. Tickled the fine hairs there. Made her arch against him. "Hmm. What happened to that girl, huh? I liked her." His finger brushed against her clitoris. She jolted, felt him smile against her throat. "She liked me too."
His voice was lazy, drunken, rolling over her like waves of molten lead. Pulling her down into the muck and madness and dark.
Someone was laughing in her head. Quiet, guttural laughter; and she knew it was her own voice.
She struggled, rallied, "She died in New Syria. In New Mecca. In an alley. In an Embassy palace."
The pressure of his hand abated. She felt bone deep weary, running on fumes.
"She's dead, Riddick. If you're going to…do it, then do it already. Just don't expect a pat on the back when you're finished."
His hands were gone. There was relief so strong she almost cried. Collapsed into the counter in his sudden absence. Tried to rein in some control over her heartbeat. Her head swam.
_He's still here. Waiting for me to make a move._
She gripped the counter's edge, squeezed her eyes closed. The queasiness amplified.
"Oh, god." She slid to the ground, little red dots zig-zagging across her field of vision.
_She was in an empty field, not quite alone, definitely naked. The ground was springy beneath her feet, moist and warm. It felt good. Better than simply standing in the grass should feel. _
"_Who said it had to hurt?" _
_Audrey spun._
_Her younger-older double sat on the ground, at the foot of an altar. __**"**__You again."_
_Her twin shot her a look of familiar scorn. "Me always, little girl." Then she smiled cheerily, pointed up to the altar, "Only one way to get there. And trust me, they need us."_
_Audrey's voice was rocks and broken glass, "How. I don't understand. Why me?"_
_Her double laughed, or growled. Stood, impossibly tall. "Why not us? It's always been us. From darkness to light and back again. We even have help." She looked over Audrey's shoulder, eyes hot, but laughing. "Hey, fucker."_
_There was something, someone, behind there. Audrey couldn't move. The other woman bent, looked her in the face. Stroked Audrey's belly with strong, calloused hands. From inside, something stroked back._
_Audrey was possessed by the sensation. Searched her double's face, saw the skull beneath the skin, found herself caressing the bone, admiring it._
_Her double rose again, leaned backward with a lipless grin. Put her hands on Audrey's shoulders and pushed. Hard._
She woke up against something warm and firm. Something moving. He was carrying her to the medibay. Cradling her. Long strides. Something must be wrong.
_Something's always wrong. I can walk by myself._
She squirmed, "Let me go."
Nothing.
She bucked. "God damn you. I said put me down."
"Quiet."
She struggled, weakened pathetically fast.
Finally nuzzled her head against his neck. Thought about biting him. "Fuck you, Riddick. Honestly. "
He laughed. Or growled. She was sleepy and didn't really care which. His warmth felt so good. So good.
The medi-bay was all white and bright and headachy. Cutting into the dark hallway like a scalpel.
_That's gonna hurt. _
Groggily, she reached up, found his goggles, and pulled them down over his eyes as he carried her into the blinding light.
* * *
**Haha. First update of 2009.**
16. When Darkness Was A Virtue
He was setting courses when she came in. Of course, he'd heard her leave the medi-bay. Had heard every goddamned move she'd made since she woke up despite trying to concentrate on something, anything, other than her.
Hadn't really expected for her to search him out though. Definitely didn't expect it to please him as much as it did.
When she settled into the co-pilots chair he sent her a sidelong glance, watched her prop her feet up onto the control panel.
"Lots of questions, whoever picks us up. May be a merc ship," she said, softly.
_Those weren't the exact words._
_Why the hell do I even remember that?_
Still, he allowed a little smile and turned his attention back to the screen. "All alone out here, kid."
It sounded more like a threat than he'd intended. She stiffened slightly, confirming.
"You used to like it out in the black," he said, absently. "Once upon a time."
She turned towards him with a funny look, "Back when darkness was a virtue...," she broke off, chewing on her bottom lip.
It sounded vaguely familiar but he couldn't place it. "What's that?"
"Old Earth song. We – I used to listen to it a lot." And then, almost to herself, "Can't believe I even remember the words. Such a long time ago."
He had the sudden feeling that he was intruding. Quelled it quickly. _Fuck that. This is my ship._
She remained in thoughtful silence for a long time. Staring at him until he was painfully aware of her presence.
_What the hell?_
He shut off the screen and turned his chair towards her. Kicked his feet up on the railing behind her. Blocking the only exit. She noticed, shifted uncomfortably.
"So…trouble in paradise?"
The sharp intake of breath was the only answer he needed. It sparked a definite interest.
"You said the holy man didn't sell you. So what, you chose to marry this guy?"
"I chose not to run," she replied, tersely. Her chin tilted in something akin to defiance.
He smiled at that. "Yeah? How's that working out for you?"
She actually glared at him before turning back to the console.
He considered his options. Found, surprisingly, that he didn't really want silence from her. Even more unexpected, he was curious.
He turned away from her, back to the console. Began fiddling with switches, aimlessly. "Besides that, how've you…been?"
Out of the corner of his eye he saw her blink, stunned. "Besides being married to a sadistic tyrant," she asked sardonically.
"Oh, I've been good, Riddick. Real good. Miscarrying in that alley was a blast, you know. The panic attacks were always fun, too."
No fear to cut that anger. He felt it rolling off her in waves. _Shit. _
"How about you, Riddick? How've _you_ been for the past seven years?"
Not at all what he had expected. _Why the fuck am I expecting anything? I don't even know her. _
A not-so-small part of him cringed at that thought. He dismissed it, flicked the screen back on, and tried to dismiss her too. Didn't work. His thoughts, all of which centered on her, grew increasingly dark. Increasingly hostile.
"I'm sorry, okay?"
He paused, shot her another sidelong glance. She was hunched over in her seat, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just…Jesus Christ, Riddick… I don't even know who I'm supposed to be anymore. I've spent the better part of a decade trying to cope with living in my own skin; and in less than a month you just _explode_ back into my life and…well, fuck everything up."
He was somewhat at a loss. Couldn't figure out what was wrong with being in her skin. He liked her skin. It smelled good. Tasted better. He felt himself grinning at the memory, turned away so she couldn't see.
But then something she'd said started to niggle in the back of his brain. _**Supposed**_ _to be? _He'd ask about that later. Maybe. He hadn't really liked any of her answers so far.
"I don't want to be Jack anymore," she continued, wretchedly. That stumped him completely. Like this 'Audrey' shit was any better?
"I liked Jack," he said, quietly.
She snorted, "Yeah, duly noted. She- I liked you too. A little too much. That was the problem. I would've done anything for you."
Almost without thinking he jerked the controls violently, jostling her in her seat. Something in the galley below thudded to the ground.
She looked at him, shaken, "What the hell are you doing?"
"Past tense, huh," he asked, striving for equanimity. He leveled out the ship, listening to her grumble.
"Yeah, well, you haven't exactly been welcoming, Riddick. Half the time I think that I would've been safer if you had left me with that freak. At least I knew what he wanted from me."
He grunted, noncommittally. She lapsed into a fidgety silence. He continued plotting courses, pointedly ignoring her.
After a long while she unfolded herself from the chair and rose. Instead of leaving she moved closer, hovering over his shoulder, hesitantly.
He froze, incredibly conscious of her proximity. Felt her breath sliding down the back of his neck. Closed his eyes. Opened them and she was still there.
She nudged him softly. He glanced back over his shoulder. "Yeah, Jack?"
"So, uh, where are we going?"
She didn't back down from his blank stare. Instead, her face hardened into something almost recognizable.
He moved aside. Spent the next few hours teaching her the controls.
She took to charting like a natural, finding quick ways through the heavily populated constellations. After a while he just sat back and listened her mutter to herself as she picked points along the maps.
"You're good at this," he said, approvingly. She smiled beautifully. He relaxed further into the chair.
"Thanks. Abu and I took some Astronomy courses together when we first got to New Mecca. I kept it up throughout Academy, too." She pointed at the grids locked in coordinates. "Nibiru. That's a dead planet, you know? It has been for years. Is that where we're going?"
He nodded. It was where they were going. And he knew it was essentially dead. He'd played a big part in making it that way.
"Long trip," she continued, glancing between him and the chrono. "What're we going to do?"
_That's a pretty loaded question, little girl._
He shrugged. Reclined the chair and shut his eyes, "Guess we'll just have to see."
There was an abrupt pause in her movements. And then an almost inaudible, "Yeah, I guess we will."
He smirked. Fell asleep listening to her quiet noises.
17. A Perfect Understanding
_I am like the moon. Waxing and waning. La afham. I do not understand._
She stared blankly down at the words she wrote, all too aware of the derisive snickering in her head. The fact that even her hand writing had started to change…
Who the hell am I kidding?
"Jack!" Riddick's voice echoed through the vents, startling her. The pad of paper slipped to the ground and she kicked it underneath a counter where he couldn't find it.
She padded into the small bathroom, looked around for the soap. Sandalwood.
_Just like I had at home. New Mecca. Imam…_
_Stop._
She washed her face, looked up at the mirror. Forgot that she'd covered it with a towel two weeks ago. It gave her an uneasy feeling that swelled until she turned sharply and marched to the medi-bay door.
He was supposed to be in the gym. Instead, she found him waiting for her in the galley; she came to an awkward stop. Looked towards the chrono above the bridge. It wasn't time to eat yet. Wasn't time to train either.
"What's up," she asked cautiously from the doorway. Riddick took a long pull from the mug in front of him. Motioned for her to sit. It wasn't a command so she kept standing.
He shrugged, "We're about nine days out from Nibiru."
She nodded.
"You found a good route. Fast. Nice work."
"Thanks."
He shrugged again, "You're welcome. Got some plans the need to be worked out before we're planetside though. Have a seat."
It wasn't a request this time.
* * *
She didn't like the plan. Not that it mattered, but it would've been easier to explain if her eyes hadn't gotten that trapped panicky look that kept fucking with his train of thought.
At the end he decided to start training early. Gave her a seconds notice before pouncing.
She managed to make it to the door.
* * *
Seeing Nibiru pop up on the radar brought a strange relief that he usually wouldn't associate with the thought of being planetside.
But Nibiru was like home in some fucked up kind of way that he really didn't want to think about. Wouldn't have been a problem except that things had been popping - usually unwelcomed - into his mind as of late.
Jack trying to silently approach the bridge gave him a welcomed distraction. He smiled. She'd managed to make it to the stairs without him noticing.
He waited until she was behind the pilots chair to speak. "Sneaking up on me, Jack?" Her steps paused immediately, confirming.
"No," she said, edging around his chair. "I wasn't trying to sneak."
_Good. Then it's becoming habit_.
"What you said before. Did you mean it," she blurted from behind him.
He blinked, confused. "Depends. What did I say?"
She was pausing, choosing words carefully. He had the feeling he wasn't going to like whatever came out of her mouth next.
"About the…me…being," she stopped. "God damn it."
They weren't going to get anywhere at this rate. He turned to her. Tried to look inviting.
"You okay?"
She looked fine. No cuts. No bruises except for the ones he'd given her. The one on her left cheek was an ugly yellow hue.
_Maybe I hit her too hard. Concussion?_
_No. She smells scared._
Took a second to process that. "Jack, what's wrong," he demanded, less inviting.
Her face crumpled. "Are you really going to sell me, Riddick?"
He froze for a second. Then broke out into genuine laughter. She looked horrified. He sobered, shook his head. "No, I'm not."
She looked relieved, actually sighed a little bit. It made him want to touch her. He palmed the controls instead.
"I'm not going to sell you, kid. I like you too much."
Her little arms were around his shoulders. He could feel her face against his neck. And then her lips against his cheek. Her scent enveloped him, different but all too familiar.
His eyes went dark and hungry and he didn't bother to hide it.
Her smile faltered, then fell. He watched as she backed away slowly. Listened as she fled down the stairs.
He waited a full five mintues before following.
She was in the shower, face pressed against the wall, breathing slowly. He was on her before she could turn, sliding a heavy hand up in between her shoulder blades and down her arm. Wrapped his free arm tightly around her waist.
She swallowed convulsively. He had to give her credit for not panicking.
"I thought you said you liked me," she said quickly, flinching as his mouth touched her neck. He smiled against her skin, nipped hard enough to leave a mark.
"I do," he replied, voice thrumming above the rush of water. "I like you a lot, Jack. Enough to stop when you asked me too." He insinuated a hand in between her legs, stroked softly. Drank in the strangled sound she made. "Are you going to ask me to stop this time?"
"Would you?"
He thought about it for a second, "Probably not."
Her head fell forward against the metal. She stiffened, turned in his arms. Her eyes were as flat as her voice.
"Then no. I won't."
His moved closer, cupped her face, carefully avoiding the bruise.
"Good girl."
Her scent was doing funny things to his head. Made talking difficult. He didn't want to talk anymore.
* * *
_She was going to die. Jesus fucking Christ, she was going die right there on the table. Underneath his hands, before he could stop the bleeding. How long had it taken him to get back to the ship? He couldn't remember. Couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. The holy man and his fucking chanting in the corner. _
_"Shut the fuck up." There was silence from the holy man. Incessant beeping from the heart monitor. Bubbling in her lungs._
_Punctured lung. Fractured clavicle. _
_Her face shimmered, melted into a sandy haired pilot's, into a hundred meaningless faces. All because of him. _
_She coughed up blood onto his shirt, convulsed. _
_The holy man cried out. Again with the chanting. _
_The chanting that wouldn't do anything. Wouldn't save her. Wouldn't stop the goddamn bleeding._
_"You were supposed to watch her!" _
_And then he was behind her, thrusting into her, still on the blood-stained gurney. _
_She glanced over her shoulder, eyes shining with hysterical joy. "Watch me, Riddick. Watch me."_
_He licked a line up her spine. And then, horrified, watched as her skin began to split like a husk._
_He came hard enough to see stars._
Riddick's eyes snapped open in the darkness. He took a moment to register the warm, sleeping body curled against him.
She rolled over in her sleep, grunted, buried her head into his armpit. He snaked his arm around her, feeling stupid.
Found exactly what he knew would be there. Soft skin with nothing but old faded scars. He fingered the scars lightly, lost in thought.
The medi-bay had skin grafters, even back then; but he'd done the stitching himself. Hadn't even noticed his finger was fractured until it started to swell.
Most of the night came back in fragments. Sometimes it was hard to remember things. Usually it was better not to.
"What's wrong?" Her voice was thick with sleep, muffled by the mattress.
_Shit._
He hadn't noticed she'd woken up. Pissed him off a little. He curbed it, pulled her closer to him.
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
18. Under Duress
**Warning: Non-consensual sex. Skip if you're squicked.**
* * *
Her breathing changed subtly right before she woke up. And there were a few seconds where she nuzzled close to him, burying her face in his side. He glanced down, watched her eyelids flutter open. Absentmindedly stroked the back of her neck.
And then she was really awake. Trying way too hard not to tense up.
"Riddick?"
He squeezed her neck softly. "Who else?" It felt like the wrong thing to say. He shrugged it off.
She didn't answer, rolled as far away as she could get.
"Something wrong?"
She snorted, wetly. "What the fuck do you think, Riddick?"
He mumbled something, and, exhausted, began drifting off. Her moving brought him back. "What's the problem," he rumbled, irritated.
She scooted back again, inching closer to him. "It's like a tomb in here."
"Hmm," he said, noncommittally, and pulled her the rest of the way to him. Her skin was cool against his stomach.
She fidgeted until he threw a heavy leg over her side. "Quit."
"Usually," she grunted, "people just get blankets."
"Hmm."
"There're blankets in the medi-bay," she said, hinting. And then, "I don't remember it being this cold when I was a kid."
He grunted. "You hated the cold." Sleep was pulling at him with sticky dark fingers. Making his eyelids heavy. Her voice was starting to come from far away. He was really fucking tired.
Stayed up all night, watching her sleep, trying to piece together fragmented thoughts. In the end they all swirled together. Ended up with him fucking a girl he didn't really know, on some mattress stained with the blood of a girl who probably would've died for him at one point.
"I still hate the cold," she grumbled, trying and failing to pull away. "I'm pretty sure that's something that doesn't change."
_She really should stop talking_. He turned, pulling her under him more. He enjoyed being pressed up against those new soft places. And he really enjoyed it when, breathless, she stopped fidgeting and reluctantly slid one of her legs in between his.
She mumbled something into his armpit. Sounded like, "You're a bastard."
He nodded, tucked her further under his bulk, and fell into a dead, dreamless sleep.
00000000000000000000000
Riddick woke up hours later. Sore and hungry. Something was beeping from the bridge. Insistently.
"You've got mail. Or something."
Jack was close enough for their noses to bump when he turned. "Damn thing's been beeping forever. I would've checked it. Couldn't."
She propped herself, clumsily. "Didja know the door's locked?"
She was slurring her words. Puzzled, he leaned over, sniffed experimentally. She giggled again. Held up an empty bottle, helpfully. "Here. It's empty. Found it in your locker. Sorry."
He raised an eyebrow, knowing she couldn't see him. Knowing she wasn't as drunk as she was pretending to be. That bottle had been one shot shy from empty long before she'd found it.
_Let's see where she takes this._
"Gonna check the bridge," she asked, blinking up at him. "It sounds important. The beeping, I mean."
He shrugged, pulled her closer. "Probably control from Nibiru. It can wait."
"Oh," she said, sounding more than a little disappointed. "I can't see anything."
He grunted. "It's dark."
"I know," she said, quickly. "I can see that. I mean, I can't really _see_ it. Because it's dark." She giggled, wiggled her fingers in front of her face.
On an impulse he reached out, grabbed her hand, placed it on his face. She smiled, brilliantly. He found himself smiling back. For a long time Jack traced his cheekbones, ears, eyebrows. She giggled when he nipped at her finger as it passed over his lips.
Her eyes fluttered shut, useless in the dark. She kept stroking his face. "I used to love doing this to you."
His brow knitted, confused. Her fingers picked it up. "In my dreams," she whispered, confidentially. Her fingers passed over his eyelids, he let them fall closed.
"You'd let me touch you. Not fighting or anything. Just touch you. And you'd touch me. And…" she trailed off.
He opened his eyes, stared at her, intrigued. "And what?"
She flushed, "And I think I'm drunk."
He nodded, playing along. "You probably are. That's pretty potent stuff. Finish what you were saying."
He was prompting her, realizing the thought of her fantasizing about him as a twelve year old girl didn't bother him as much as it probably should have. Not when she was naked in his bed, touching him, all grown up.
She shook her head, embarrassed. He watched the the heat creep arcoss her chest, up her neck.
Feeling indulgent, expansive, he touched her cheek lightly, "C'mon, kid. No secrets. And then what?" He could almost hear her resolution crumble. He almost smiled.
Jack rolled her eyes, "And then you'd wake me up and tell me that if I didn't stop making noises you were going to make me sleep in the cargo bay."
He roared with laughter, startling Jack away from him. When he sobered she was chewing on her lip, preoccupied. "Riddick," she whispered, "would you please turn on the lights?"
_Still scared of the dark. Huh. _He took her wrist in his hand, stared at it thoughtfully. Fine bones like glass in his hand. He brought it to his lips, flicked out his tongue. She inhaled sharply. "Riddick. Please. The lights."
He dropped her hand onto the mattress, gently.
"Lights thirty percent." Just bordering painful without his goggles. Just enough for her to see some shadows. She looked pathetically grateful, "Thanks."
He nodded. "You dream a lot, back then, Jack," he asked, pitching his voice low. She shuddered again. His hand circled inevitably up her thigh. "About me?"
Jack swallowed hard, something in her throat clicked. "Yeah. I did. Used to be scared you'd catch me..." She flushed again, furiously. His nostrils flared, took in the unmistakable scent.
She made a quiet, strangled noise, "Even in New Mecca. Even when I hated you. Even when I wished you were dead."
His hand jerked. "You wanted me dead?"
A series of complex emotions flickered across her face. He even recognized a few. Discomfort. Anger.
Shame.
He blinked. Opted to focus on the upward progression of his hand. Much simpler.
"Yes," she blurted into the silence."I wanted you dead. You left me," her voice cracked, "you left me alone, weak."
_And pregnant. Huh. Kinda an asshole move._
_Even though I didn't know. _
_Another asshole move, not bothering to check…_
Riddick stroked her side, her back, felt some promising muscle development there.
"You're not weak now," he lied.
Jack barked out a laugh. "You don't think so? You attacked me in the medi-bay and I didn't even try to fight back. Seven years ago I would've at _least_ have tried to take out an eye."
The word 'attack' rung around in Riddick's skull. It dawned on him, slowly. _She means rape._ "Attacked you? You came," he said, flatly, trying to remember if she in fact had, "And I didn't hear you complaining."
Jack looked at him, incredulous, forgetting her inebriated ploy. "I bled all over the fucking gurney, Riddick." She held up her palms, each sporting four crescent moon shaped punctures. "This," she spat, "is the only thing that kept me from screaming my fucking head off. "
She was furious, breathing heavy, almost panting, eyes practically spitting fire. Riddick smiled, saccharine and deadly, ran a calloused finger down her jaw and shrugged, "But you _did _cum."
"Faked it to hurry you up. It's worked before."
Riddick threw back his head and laughed again, leaned forward and licked around the shell of her ear. "I doubt it."
Jack exhaled like she'd been punched in the gut. "Fuck you, Riddick." She started to rise, he knocked her arms out from underneath her, dragged her underneath him. Her body made to struggle, flail against him. He gripped her hair hard enough to feel some dislodge from her scalp. "Don't, baby. Let me make it up to you."
She froze, stared at him wide-eyed. "So, I'm 'baby' now, huh? You start fucking me and all of a sudden I've got a pet name?"
Riddick heard her through a haze of lust, nodded, "Guess so."
Something behind her eyes flickered and went out. She rolled to her side, searching blindly for something on the side of the bed. He tensed automatically, remembered he'd left his weapons on the top bunk, heard the clink of glass on metal.
_Looking for more alcohol. She wants to be drunk out of her fucking mind..._
_Or she's going to try to club me..._
"Bottle's empty, Jack," He breathed into her ear. "Just relax."
She was panicking, grabbing at the edge of the bed, trying to slide from underneath him. He pried her fingers gently from the bed frame, wrapped his arms around her, cooed some reassuring shit into her ear. She began to cry, ragged heartbroken sobs that cut through the fogginess in his brain.
_She really doesn't want to be here._
He manhandled the thought out of his brain. The beeping from the control room wasn't getting any less insistent. And she was still there; still naked; still pressed against him as much as she could possibly be without him actually being inside her.
That thought hit him hard. _Inside her. Good idea._ Underneath the tang of alcohol she smelled like sex. And his sweat and her fear. Olfactory senses kicked in and his mouth started to water. He groaned, quietly. "Thought alcohol was against the rules, Jack," he rumbled, hiking her legs up around his waist. "Ruins the best of men and all that shit."
"We're not in New Mecca anymore," she said, hoarsely. "And you've never been a good man."
Riddick chuckled. "Good point." He ran his fingers up her sides, up her arms, pushed them above her head. Buried his face in between her breasts, nuzzled leisurely.
The bite mark that her stupid fuck of a husband had left had scarred. Riddick felt the raised welt against his cheek. _Should've killed him. I'm going to have to cut her again to graft that right._
Jack wrapped her arms around him, detached, eyes focused determinedly on some point above his head.
It irked him, and he nipped her hard enough to leave his own mark. Her yelp turned into a strangled cry as he experimentally curled one finger inside of her. Riddick could feel her heart slamming against his chest and smiled slowly.
Jack began to pant in earnest, straining up to press against him and then trying to push his hand away. Riddick captured her hands in one of his, slid in a second finger. She came hard, back arching, twisting her neck at an alarming angle to press her face into sheets. Riddick watched, enraptured, feeling a little cheated that she'd turned away. Feeling more than a little unhinged.
After a while his throat started working again, barely. "How 'bout that," he asked, voice ragged. "You fake that, too?"
Tears were streaming down the side of her face. She squeezed her eyes shut, unleashing more, still refusing to look at him.
Riddick felt an unfamiliar knot of guilt, willed it away. Her body was already relaxing in his arms, and when he pulled a nipple between his teeth she made a sound that wiped most coherent thoughts away.
_Nice,_ he thought, hazily_._
Riddick kissed a trail up to her mouth. Jack's lips met his, enthusiastically. She bit him hard enough that he tasted his own blood and he had to stifle the insane urge to laugh. And then he was pushing inside of her, groaning at the almost painful resistance, lost in the scent of intoxicated arousal. She grunted, and then moaned and the last thread of conscious thought disintegrated. When she started to scream he was too far gone to really care.
19. In The Morning
_He was fighting something, someone he couldn't beat. Thrashing and stabbing at it, them, whoever the fuck it was. He was uncoordinated, sloppy. Whoever he was fighting laughed, knocked his arms aside and was on him. He opened his mouth to yell and felt soft lips. Opened his eyes to startling, iridescent green._
_" I know you", the thing whispered into his mouth. Time came to an absolute halt. Riddick closed his eyes again, felt something hot and wet roll from the corner of his eye. He stabbed up. Hard. _
Riddick's eyes slammed open. He sat up cautiously, heart halfway up his throat. He swallowed, shivered in a way that had nothing to do with the cool air flowing from the vent.
Everything was good. Except. Except Jack was gone.
_What the hell?_
He rolled swiftly to his feet, almost stepped on the shivering body by the end of the bed. _Jack._
He swallowed hard, something in his throat clicked. "Fuck."
She was fighting something in her sleep with everything she was worth. It looked like she was losing.
He crouched, laid a hand softly on her back, frowned. She was freezing. His eyes took in some new bruises, the blood smeared between her legs. His stomach turned a little.
She let out a strangled cry. He frowned deeper, ran his hand down her spine, something that had always worked before. He could hear her heart jack hammering against her ribs.
Riddick nudged her, gently. She woke up swinging. He caught her hands easily in his, fighting the urge to kiss them. "Hey, kid. It's okay."
She sat up slowly, wiping her face. It was dark again, but he couldn't remember calling for lights out.
_Must've done it before I passed out. _
_How long was she awake in the dark? _
"Riddick?"
"Yeah," he rumbled," Just me."
The stink of fear didn't subside. He exhaled, slowly. "What're you doin' on the floor?"
Her voice was small, beaten, "Bad dream."
"Still," he asked, sitting back on the bed. She didn't seem in a hurry to join him despite the cold. "Thought we handled those a long time ago."
She swallowed, dryly, "Yeah. New nightmares." She shivered violently.
_This is stupid. _He leaned forward, plucked her effortlessly of the floor, sat her in his lap. She went rigid.
_Right. I'm naked. She's naked, too. _
_Because I pulled her clothes off…_
He moved her, regretfully, from his lap. The sheet was wrapped around her as soon as she hit the mattress.
They sat in the dark for a long time. Silent.
"So bad dream," he tried, halfheartedly. Jack just shook her head, softly, "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
She stayed quiet for so long he didn't think she was going to answer. "You were drowning me."
He blinked, "Drowning you?"
"In blood."
_I've done that to someone before. New Syria? _
He looked at her closely. "Why was I drowning you?"
She blinked in the dark, "Why do you do any of the shit you do?" She squeezed her eyes shut, "Jesus. I didn't mean to say that."
"Fair enough."
She nodded, looking ill. "It was just…bizarre. Imam was there. He was praying."
Riddick snorted. "That's helpful."
Jack smiled, ruefully. "Yeah." And then, after a while, "He tried, you know. He gave me everything a parent should. I think. I dunno."
Riddick felt his jaw tick, "Except safety." And then, with more force than he meant, "And that was part of the fucking deal."
She was silent for a long time.
"You know," she said, sharply, "I'm really tired of other people making deals about my life."
His lips twitched. "Pretty shitty deal."
She made a sound that could've been a laugh, "You have no idea. Especially since I never end up actually being safe." She closed her eyes again. "Shit."
His eyes narrowed. "Didn't mean to say that either?"
She shook her head slowly. "Not out loud." And then, quietly, "But no secrets, right?"
He stared at her, nonplussed. _When did I say that?_
_Probably last night. Probably said a lot of shit…_ He forcibly derailed that train of thought.
Watched her wrap the sheet tighter around her shoulders. She moved slowly, cautiously. Like she was in pain.
_Not like. She is. Probably a lot. _
He wondered briefly how many times she'd actually had sex. Sent her a sidelong glance. Decided that it probably hadn't been many. At least not willingly.
Her head was ducked into the blanket, propped up on her knees. He realized that she was crying and trying to hide it from him.
He placed an awkward hand on her shoulder. Pulled her back into his lap. Sat back, surprised, as she snaked her arms around his neck and sobbed.
_Right. She wants comfort and I'm the only one here._ He frowned down at her, stroked her back. _Poor fucking kid. _
After a while the sobs melted into watery hiccups. Her voice was small and remorseful, "I got you all wet."
He shrugged, elegantly. "S'okay." She nodded, began to pull away. He tightened his hold, more than a little reluctant to let her go.
"Riddick, I want to get up now. I'm really cold." Her voice shook a little. He seriously considered telling her no.
"'Kay." He stood, called for lights. Walked over to the row of battered lockers and pulled out a couple of musty blankets. Turned to give them to her. She'd gone slightly red, eyes pointedly downcast.
He swallowed a grin. Tossed her the blankets and pulled on a pair of cargoes. Left his shirt off. Jack was bundled in the blankets, feet dangling off the edge of the bed. She looked like a child. His eyes slid to the bloody sheet crumpled at the edge of the bed. His stomach turned a little more.
"I'll look at the heating unit later. Been broken since you –," he stopped. "It's broken."
He was all too uncomfortable with the way her eyes zeroed in on him in the darkness.
"So you've just been out here alone," she asked, quietly. "In the cold? In the dark ?"
He shrugged, not liking the way this conversation was heading. There was lot of underlying shit in those questions. None of which he felt like dealing with.
She looked around the room, eyes lingering on the bunk that used to be hers. There was nothing there now, just an empty metal rack. Her eyes traveled up. Rested the holy man's old bunk. Something incredibly painful crossed over her face.
"I need a shower," she said, quietly. He nodded, punched in the code and stood back as the door slid open.
Jack stepped over the threshold, looked both ways down the corridor like she was expecting someone to be there. Turned back to him, flushed again. "I, uh, I think I need a… pad. Or something. I'm bleeding pretty bad."
He felt his jaw tick again, blew out a heavy breath. "That bad?"
Her eyes went wide. "No. I mean, not from that. I think it's just…the uh, normal bleeding."
Riddick ran his hand over his head, slowly. "There's gauze in one of the med-lockers."
"Right," she turned away, took a step, paused. "They're locked."
_Right. I know that. I locked them to keep her out. _
"Forgot." He followed her down the hallway, impressed that she was able to navigate effortlessly in the dark.
In the medi-bay he called for low lights, unlocked the doors and let her pick out what she needed. Intended on being gone when she came back from the bathroom. Wasn't.
She looked at him, surprised. And then distrustful. It set his teeth on edge.
"Better?'
She nodded jerkily. "Yes. Just a little sore."
_A little? Huh._
He sent a sidelong glance to the only cabinet he hadn't unlocked. "Got some pain killers."
Jack followed his line of sight. Another pained look.
_Right. She just got all that shit out her system._
"I need to shower." The 'alone' went unsaid, but it was evident in the taught lines of her body. She was afraid, but underneath that there was a fibre a defiance.
He knew in a suddenly, unquestionably, that if he reached for her again she'd fight him. She'd lose, but she would fight him until he was forced to hurt her. His certainty faltered at that point.
He nodded, turned to leave.
Her voice was low, almost inaudible over the hum of the air recycler. "On second thought...I'll take those pain killers."
* * *
The shower was heaven. For a while. And then it was just hot water beating down on her skin. She shut it off, stood in the stall staring at the dull metal wall for a long time.
She stepped out, shivered despite the humidity. The only towel was the one covering the mirror. She snagged it, wrapped it around and stood there staring at her own foggy, warped reflection.
The pain killers hadn't done anything more substantial than making her stomach churn sickeningly. It'd been, what, a full day…maybe two since she'd eaten. Her stomach lurched, violently. She wobbled over to the toilet, say down heavily, cradling her head in her hands. In that nauseated state, head swimming with disorientation, time collapsed upon itself. Stretched thin. She could've been sitting there for hours. Maybe days…
The hum of the air circulator startled her out of her reverie. Warm air.
_He fixed the heating._
She felt a spark of awkward affection. Didn't let it get any further than that. Stood cautiously, feeling a less than overwhelming wave of dizziness, and tottered out into the main room.
She'd been prepared to climb back into the clothes that she'd been wearing before. Not like she really had a choice, even if they were dirty. She didn't have anything else.
Except that, apparently, she did. Odds and ends, old worn cargoes, battered t-shirts...all folded neatly on the medi-bay's counter. She blinked, picked up the closest pair of pants numbly. They were, more or less, her size.
_He's trying to make it up to me._
_Is that even possible?_
She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Settled on just getting dressed. Cargoes and an old knit sweater, faded brown and worn soft with age. She avoided her reflection in the mirror, focused only on the top of her head as she raked her hair back into a bun. It was hardly more than an afterthought, but she wished she had some shoes.
_Maybe boots. Like the kind I used to have. _
She ran her hands down her neck, over the curves of her breasts. Felt a thread of the old horror work its way through her. Just a ghost of a memory.
"Probably useless to ask for a wrap, now," she muttered.
Riddick made noise when he came into the medi-bay and she knew it was for her benefit.
Jack threw the towel back over the mirror, and kicked the bathroom door open gently. Riddick's back was to her, and his goggles were down against the bright fluorescent light but she knew he was staring at the gurney.
There wasn't as much blood as she thought there should be.
"Thanks for the clothes," she said, inanely. "They fit."
He shrugged, elegantly.
_Right. How's this supposed to go? I've never tried to hold a conversation with someone who's... _
She derailed that train of thought, it made her head hurt.
She watched him curl and uncurl his hands, a sure sign he was deliberating. Even in the harsh, revealing brilliance of the fluorescent lights, a shadow wrapped around him like a cloak. He seemed to absorb the light itself, the air, the energy in the room.
A thought, a memory blossomed despite her fighting against it. It expanded, and then imploded with the force of a supernova that left her blinking back tears.
_I used to love this man. I killed for him. Willingly. Because I knew he'd keep me safe._
She sagged against the wall, fighting a failing to keep the thoughts from rampaging around in her head. Didn't realize for some time that he was watching her over his shoulder, eyebrows knitted above the goggles.
When she opened her eyes, he'd folded up the mattress, sheets and all, and was making his way to the medi-bay door. Jack followed him through the ship to the airlock. Watched as he shoved the bundle into the compartment and hit the release button with unwarranted force.
She had to try a couple times before her voice caught," So, is this my punishment? Am I sleeping on the floor now?"
Riddick ran a huge hand over his head, "No. And punishment for what?"
"I don't know, for not being who you think I should be. You came back for your little monster in training and found me instead, right? Isn't that what all this is about," she spat, voice rising unchecked, unheeded. "I'm not who I'm supposed to be. So now you're gonna fix me, Riddick, right? Right? You're gonna break me and put the pieces back together the way you see fit?"
Whatever tenuous hold she'd had disintegrated; and she realized, with a sort of bloodthirsty satisfaction, that a slight line of frustration had formed in between his eyes. If she were anyone else, it would've gone unnoticed.
Except..._ Except I've spent half my life with his face in the back of my mind. I probably know him better than anyone ever has. _
_And he doesn't like that. _
It was revelatory. Something solidified within her; she didn't have to fake the hardness in her voice at all. "I am _not_ your project, Riddick. Not anymore."
Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn't the smile that crept over his face. There was a burst of panic when he melted out of the darkness, suddenly intrusively close to her. She swallowed it, turned the urge to flinch into a grimace of intended insolence.
Riddick stared down at her, calculating. His hand moved up to the side of her face. "Good," he said. She shivered a little at current of real pleasure she heard there. He moved closer, lips brushing against her ear. "I can respect that, Jack. You standin' up, being all brave and shit when we both know I could drop you right here." He inhaled deep, scenting her. "Reminds me of a girl I used to know."
She reminded herself to breathe, slow breaths, controlled. She needed control. "What do you want from me, Riddick?"
He chuckled, darkly. Promising things she didn't really want to think about. "Right now? I'll settle on teaching you the controls. Get up to the bridge. I wanna watch you fly."
20. Safe And Sound
It was always cold when she woke up. Something she had her suspicions about. It wasn't exactly inconceivable to think that he'd make himself the only other source of real heat in the room.
She lay in her bed for an unbearable amount of time, knowing where she'd end up and hating herself for it.
_This is ridiculous. Held hostage by the temperature. _Jack glared at Riddick's slumbering form, eyeing the sliver of mattress visible underneath his bulk_. Fuck it._
She slipped out of her bunk, pulling her sweater tighter around her shoulders and tiptoed over to Riddick's cot. Stared down at him for a long time lost in thought. It hit her as both comical and heartbreaking to see him stretched out, sleeping soundly on the paper thin mattress.
It struck a dormant chord, stirring up some strangely affectionate feelings that she was entirely uncomfortable with. She cleared her throat loudly, stepping back outside of striking distance. Just in case.
The only sign of his transition from slumber was the barely noticeable shift in his breathing. She wondered vaguely if he would teach her how to do that. Cleared her throat again, intent implicit. Without speaking Riddick rolled to face her, stretching like a cat.
_Jesus Christ, he's huge._
With painstaking care she climbed onto the cot, simultaneously sighing at feel of his warmth and trying not to touch him too much. A pointless attempt, she realized when his arm snaked around her waist and pulled her flush to him.
"Wouldn't want you to fall." She felt him smile against the top of her head.
"Yeah," she asked, flatly. "Don't really seem too worried about me freezing to death though. Funny how all the blankets kinda disappeared."
He pulled back a little, had the audacity to sound affronted. "What? I fixed the heating for you. I'm tryin' to be nice. "
In the back of her mind she acknowledged that this was somewhat treacherous ground. Whatever fucked up pang of guilt that had compelled him to fix the heat had worn thin over the past week. He was still playing nice; but he could see that same unhinged look in his eyes sometimes after training and she didn't need to ask what he did when he disappeared afterwards.
_You play nice too, Jack. Or this whole ship goes back to being a tomb. All day. All night._
She shifted a little under his arm, trying not to seem like she was pushing him away. "Thanks. It just gets really cold in here overnight. That's all."
He grunted noncommittally and she relaxed a little. Sleep didn't come. It never did, not really. Sometimes, if their workout had been intense enough, she would doze next to him taking comfort from the heat he radiated, too tired to notice or care about his intrusive proximity.
When it didn't they would talk. More specifically, she would talk and he would listen. But, to her surprise, he answered every question she shot his way. She liked those times, it made the dark a little less all consuming knowing that he was in it.
Sleep didn't come. "Tell me about Nibiru," she asked hopefully.
Riddick's answer was to roll onto his back and rub his face. "One of those nights?"
In the dark she could almost picture the smile sliding across his face. She shivered, blamed it on the cold.
"It's hot there." His breath was warm on her neck, something she wished she didn't notice. "Sticky hot. Humid. Makes you sweat."
An intense memory of him licking sweat from between her breasts seared through her mind. She laughed weakly, "My hair's going to frizz."
Riddickchuckled quietly, began playing with her hair. It felt good. "Don't worry. Nobody's gonna see it."
That hit her like a bucket of ice water. _Right. Because I'll be wearing a slave hood. And chains. I hate this._
His hand trailed down her neck, fingers zeroing in on her jugular. For a second she swore she heard his breath catch, shook off the thought immediately. His fingers stayed there.
"Short days, too. Weird solar rotation or some shit like that. Real long nights."
Her voice almost failed her. Whether his proximity or the sour turn of conversation, the realization of what was to come, she started choking up. "Your kinda place, huh?"
His lips were now unavoidably close, breath tickling the fine hair on the back of her neck.
"I don't have a place, princess," he replied, all sweetness over steel. "Ask your holy man, he'll tell you that."
"Everyone has a place." Even as she said it she tasted the lie in her throat.
Riddick just snorted quietly. Let his fingers walk themselves down her clavicle; and the biting cold seemed a little further away.
* * *
He'd heard her the second she'd stepped out of bed. Smiled when her gasped at the icy chill of the metal floor. She'd hesitated by his bed, probably looking for other options - like there were any- and he seriously contemplated grabbing her when she stepped close enough. Didn't though. Her willingness satisfied him more than he was willing to admit.
She was warm and more or less obliging lying next to him. The talking was okay too.
He leaned in, testing the boundaries. Could tell she tried real hard to suppress that shiver. Inhaled. Something was missing.
"You're not afraid." His lips twitched.
_Huh_.
"No. I'm not." She sighed, surprised him by rolling over in his arms to face him. "I don't like this, Riddick."
He sighed loudly, hoping she'd realize and end that train of conversation. Instead her fingers snaked up and pressed against his lips. He tried not to smile.
"I don't like this," she said, doggedly, "but…as fucked up as it is…I don't have anywhere else. For all I know, Imam, Lajjun…my whole fucking family is dead. I hate it." Her fingers fell away from his mouth. His tongue flicked out reflexively, searching for her taste.
_I'm an asshole,_ he realized, amused. _She's spilling her guts and I'm getting off on tasting her fingers._
Jack turned away from him, began crying in earnest for the first time since they'd had sex. "I hate it. You might be the only person I have left and that terrifies me."
He was considerably less amused. His voice dropped, low and quiet in the pressing darkness. "Everyone their place, princess."
She started sobbing hard at that. He kissed the back of her neck, brought one hand around to cup her breast. At some point her crying dissolved into muffled hiccups and she pressed gently against his hand. He turned her over, striving for gentleness, but not really caring if he accomplished it or not.
Her face was still wet with tears. He enjoyed licking them away more than he probably should've. She shocked him by tangling her fingers in his and moving their hands down her body.
_Huh. That's new._His revelation from their first sexual encounter creeped into his mind, left him scowling down at her in the dark. _Right._ _She's just looking for comfort and I'm the only one here._
But her mouth was on him, hot and willing…and eager. Opening up to his hungry kisses, sometimes even returning them. She wriggled out of her sweater and baggy pants, batting away his hands when he attempted to just rip them off.
"Gentle. These are the only clothes I have," she murmured against his lips.
"I'll get you more," he rumbled back. "Anything you want, princess." The words came out unbidden, unchecked.
Her eyes went wide and wondering, zeroing in on his in the dark. Her arousal kicked in hard, drowning him in the scent. For a heartbreaking second her hand came up to touch his face and he leaned into it. Then she was pulling on his shirt, struggling to get it over his head.
His lips twisted into a sardonic smile. _Right. Fucking for comfort. Just part of the service._
It wasn't as easy slipping into that mode of thought. His arousal was now spiked with more than a little irritation. She grabbed at him, kissed him with a kind of unhinged desperation that set his teeth on edge. He pulled back abruptly, knocking her hands from his shoulders.
She sat up, breathing hard, blinking owlishly into the dark. "What- what're you doing?"
He pushed away from her, coming to stand at the edge of the bed out of her small range of sight. She blinked again, pulled her sweater into her lap to cover herself; a more familiar scent began filtering through the room. He smiled a razor blade smile.
"What're you doing, Riddick?" She was getting scared. He hated and loved it. It made his head pound and swirl. It made him want to throw up.
Silently he sidestepped around the bed, came right up to her shoulder. She jumped when he breathed into her ear.
"You want me to fuck you, Jack? Sober and everything?"
She swallowed and he heard something click in the back of her throat. She gripped the sweater a little closer to her.
_Ah. Right. Rethinking it now, princess?_
"I-I thought…"
"You thought what?" He was in front of her now, leaning over the bed, taking vicious pleasure in the knowledge that she couldn't see him.
"I don't know," she choked. Sounded like she was going to cry. He rolled his eyes, pushed her back onto the mattress less than gently.
"Riddick, what're you doing?" Nothing hiding that fear now. He laughed, tried to pull the sweater away. She clung to it so he had to rip it away. Accusation and despair fought for dominance in her tone, "You said you wouldn't!"
_Did I say that? Doesn't sound like something I'd say._
Nuzzled her breast.
"Relax. I'm just doin' what you wanted. Tellin' you a bedtime story."
Her hands went to his chest pushing him away. He grabbed them, pulled them underneath her head.
"Be still, Jack."
She shuddered underneath him and he fought the urge to just sink into her, into oblivion. Fuck the consequences. Easier that way. There was always the cryolockers.
_No. No there's not. Not anymore._
He pushed off of her, crouched on the floor in between her legs. She went rigid.
"Relax."
She did. Barely.
_Good enough. _
"Once upon a time," he started, running his fingertips up her calves, "I did a good thing. Saved a girl." He kissed her inner thigh, enjoying the shiver that ran up her legs. He bit down, exalted in the scent of fear tainted arousal. "Best thing I've ever done in my life."
He began absentmindedly massaging her calves. Got lost in the delicious noises she made. Realized, somewhat regretfully, that she hadn't made any of those noises the last time.
"The kid was something else. Think you would've liked her." He kissed the juncture on the inside of her leg. "But one day the kid walks off and gets into trouble. And I was too late to save her."
Jack abruptly propped up on her elbows, trying to see his face. "Lights on."
A flicker of brightness before he overrode the command. "No lights, Jack."
He waited, silently, until she lowered herself back onto the mattress again. For some fucked up reason it was easier to talk without her staring at him.
"Tore apart a whole space station trying though. Lots of people died. 'Cause I fucked up. Pissed me off, caring like that. So I dropped her off, safe and sound. Free from monsters. "
He leaned forward, nuzzling the apex of her thighs. "Only she wasn't. So I tried to save her again."
He parted her with his fingers, taking his time. _Time. We have lots of time._ His lips were gentle on her, coaxing out muffled, strangled cries. He barely had time to taste her before she was gripping at his head, spasming, arching against him. He came right along with her, the force of his orgasm slamming the breath from his lungs. He slumped to his knees, grasping her legs with shaking hands. Whatever expansive mood had overtaken him was fading quickly along with his self control.
"Was I too late," he whispered, nuzzling her stomach rapturously. "I thought I left you safe and sound."
Jack made a noise somewhere between a sob and a gasp. "Riddick. Please. Don't. "
He closed his eyes against that. Against her voice, simultaneously apologizing, forgiving, requesting. Against her hands, pulling at his, urging him to do things that she'd regret in the morning.
He rose to his feet, unsteady, hands clenched at his sides. His jaw ticked with the effort of restraint. The throbbing, delirious swirling in his head had only intensified. He halfway stumbled to the door before looking back to her naked, sprawled out form.
"Shitty bed time story. Sorry."
_New monsters. Huh. Play the hero, save the girl; bring the real monsters down on our heads. _His thoughts were disjointed. Fragmented.
He sucked in a breath. Then another. Leaned shakily against the door frame until the whirling thoughts slowed.
Jack was halfway out of bed. She looked scared. Somewhere in between running to him and running _from_ him. "Are you okay?"
_No. I'm really fucking not. _
"Answer me."
A dry rattle of a laugh whistled past his lips. "Jack. Go back to sleep."
* * *
She found him in the bridge plotting courses to places he'd probably never go.
"Thought I told you to go to sleep."
"Since when do I listen to you?"
He shrugged. Ignored her until she knelt in front of him and wrapped her arms around his middle. Then his huge hand was on her back, petting her skin through the worn, faded sweater.
The metal grating was cold and painful against her bare knees, cutting in. He sighed, leaned down, grasped her legs and easily pulled her into his lap. She straddled him, pushing the sweater up and over her head. His eyes went hungry, but his hands and lips were nothing but tenderness. His restraint slipped a little when she began squirming in his lap and he nipped her hard enough for her to yelp, but at that point she really didn't care. She fumbled with his belt for a second before he knocked her hands away and shoved his pants down, belt and all.
There was a brief moment of panic, mental backpedaling… but he was already pushing up off the seat, pulling her hips down to meet his. He let her set the pace for a few moments, before he took control. Or lost it. She wasn't really clear on what happened; only that she was cumming again, bearing down on him with abandon to match his own. A violent, raw, bottomless sensation that left her stomach roiling. He followed her over the edge, gasping, fingers digging furrows into her hips, thighs, back.
Oxygen returned at some point, her mind settled, fragments of reality settling back down. She waited for the rush of hot shame, nothing. Nothing but a pleasant hollowness. Riddick was stroking her hair, one hand absently massaging her neck.
"Wow. I wasn't really planning on doing that when I came up here," she said, burying her face in his neck.
He chuckled deep in his throat. She felt it in her chest. "Liar."
Jack swatted him playfully, ridiculously content in this moment of intimacy. _Seven years ago I would've killed to be right here, like this. _She tried not to let that poison the moment.
"That feels really good." She whispered. His movements became decidedly more deliberate, fingers gently digging into the new muscles underneath her shoulder blades. She melted against him, moaning quietly. He was getting turned on again, the evidence unmistakable as he was still firmly seated inside of her. She tried to lift herself out of his lap only to find a heavy hand on the small of her back.
She flinched. _Please don't ruin this_. "Riddick…"
"Wait a minute," he rumbled. She settled against his chest feeling more than a little awkward. After a minute he lifted them both up, took the time to unbuckle his pants and pull them back up. Settled back into the chair with her still in his lap.
"You're all knotted up."
She snorted, rubbed her eyes suddenly bone deep tired. "Yeah. Inharmonious living situation. You're throwing off my ch'i, Riddick."
He pulled back, gave her a strange look. "Your what?"
Despite herself she smiled, "My life force. The natural flow. You're like a rock in a stream."
He gave her a blank look before reaching past her to fiddle with the controls. "A rock, huh?"
"More like a boulder."
He snorted and she giggled back. Relaxed further onto his chest.
_This is okay,_ she thought. _Right now, this is alright. _
_But what about later? Will it be alright when he's dragging me around on a leash?_
She closed her eyes against the treacherous thought. The rise and fall of his chest was hypnotic. She tried very hard to concentrate on that. On the warmth of his hands on her back, his breath on the top of her head.
Sleep came and she didn't fight it.
21. Circling
_The day was dying a slow death. The sun kissed the ground and burned everything away; plant, earth, flesh. He remained unharmed, unfazed as his surroundings were vaporized. _
_Out of the clouds of ash stepped a familiar pair of boots. Well worn, tucked neatly underneath the cuffs of a dusty blue work suit. He was reaching for a shiv before the badge even came into focus. _
_In his head, in his bones, he knew that there was a thrumming, sucking sound as everything around him turned to dust - but all he could hear was the crunching of boots on baked earth._
_Johns smiled, stretching scarred lips across a sun weathered face. _
_"You're dead," Riddick said, annoyed at the uncertainty in his voice. _
_"We're all dead, sentinel, if you don't wise the fuck up," Johns responded. "Me. You. The priest. Even your little girl." He pointed, and for the first time Riddick noticed the small body of a girl lying on an altar some distance away from them. She was in the eye of the storm, like them, protected from the world's unraveling. But if she wasn't dead already, she would be soon._
_Riddick swallowed hard. _
_Johns laughed, threw back his head and roared; and even with the earth splintering apart around him Riddick felt that familiar black hatred bubble up in his chest. _
_"You should've stayed dead," he growled. He took one last heartbreaking look at the girl, turned back to Johns. And leapt._
It was okay, he decided. It was okay that Johns was alive because that meant that he got to kill him again. And this time there was no rush. No interruptions. No need to not make it last as long as it possibly could.
But the body underneath his did not feel like Johns's. The throat underneath his fingers was much too slim, much too soft.
He opened his eyes. The color of Jack's face was a strange hue. Her eyes were wide and panicked. It took a minute to register her nails digging into the back of his hand.
He let go, as if burned. "Fuck. Dammit." He sighed, pulled her up into a sitting position. She leaned over, coughed until her lungs rattled. And then she settled enough to glare at him.
"What the _hell_-"
"Bad dream," he interrupted. "Thought you were de- thought you were Johns."
She coughed again and he felt guilty and stupid in equal parts.
"You okay?"
But she was already scooting into her own unused bunk on the other side of the room, making an extra effort to shoot him an ugly look.
Riddick sat up on the edge of the bed, disoriented. The room was moving in impossible ways. Muttered something indecipherable to even him. And then Jack was upside down. And the steel floor was much, much closer to his face then it should've been. And then nothing.
* * *
He woke slowly. Registered the empty anesthetic smell of the med bay. His med bay. He was in his ship. On a gurney. Jack was gone but her scent was there.
He sat up experimentally, felt like someone was attempting to reattach his temples to the rest of his head by means of a staple gun. His skin felt itchy and stretched too thin, like he'd been lying in the sun, in the sand, for a long time.
The door slid open and Jack walked in carrying a huge pitcher of water. She stopped short when she saw him. "You're awake."
He made an indistinct grunt.
She set the pitcher down and ran a cold hand over his face. "What happened?"
He shrugged, and knew with painful certainty that his left shoulder had taken most of his fall.
"You had a dream. I think."
_I was killing Johns_, he thought. _I was killing him again because he killed you._
That wasn't right though. Johns hadn't killed her. At least Riddick hadn't seen him do it. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. Immediately regretted it.
"You were choking me."
He sighed, reveling in the feel of her hand on his face. It was cool, and alive, and not withered and bloody like it had been- _that was just a dream._
_"_Sorry."
"You scared me. I thought you were dying."
He slotted his eyes open. "From a dream?"
"You were screaming, Riddick. I've never heard anyone scream like that."
He was sitting up before he realized he was moving. She was staring at him, unabashed. He decided to focus on the door behind her. "How long-"
"A couple hours," she finished, handing him a glass of water. He drank it like he'd never see it again. "Everything's set for landing. I secured the cargo, the coordinates. You can rest."
"You did that?" He was impressed, and he guessed he showed it because she smiled beautifully. A momentary distraction from the ugly bruises on her neck.
"Yeah. Not a big deal, really." She smiled again, this time a little ruefully. "Thought about resetting the coordinates. Taking us somewhere far away before you woke up. I couldn't figure out how to make a jump." Her grin faded, and then disappeared.
_Stupid kid. Should've hailed the next passing freight and jumped ship. Gone somewhere nice and safe and far away from all this bullshit. _
But even as he thought it he knew that he'd have tracked her down. And he very much doubted that he would be able to be nice about it.
"You don't want to go into the black, kid." It hurt to talk, his throat felt raw and parched. "No place for someone like you."
She looked defiant, ready to fight...and then it was gone.
"I don't have a lot of options," she said, voice arch. "But I'd prefer living on some shitty mining outpost than being dragged around on a chain by my best friend who's pretending to be my jailer. Or not pretending. Whatever."
His mind had gotten sidetracked at 'best friend' and he found himself wanting to pursue that train. "I'm your best friend?" He put on a lecherous grin, just to be safe.
She slotted her eyes at him and snorted. "Like I said, I don't have a lot of options."
He did grin at that. And then he laughed. And then he sobered. "We're going to Nibiru-"
"I know."
"- to refuel and restock. Got some business there, " he continued, wondering where the hell the words were coming from. "And then ...we'll see."
* * *
Her skin was slick with sweat, straining underneath his hands. He gripped a little tighter, just enough to clear his mind, just enough to hear a choked rush of air whistle past her lips.
"You know this, kid," he sighed, letting his weight rest on his elbows on either side of her head.
"What do you do?"
She made another gurgling noise. _Oh. Shit_. He relaxed a little, taking a small step back. The second his foot left the ground her heel slammed down on his instep. He went down on his knees hard. Her knee connected with his chin and his vision exploded into tiny dots. She placed a decidedly accurate hit to his left shoulder and tried to dart away but he caught her ankle, twisted, and she was on the ground underneath him, cursing a blue streak.
_She played me. Knew I'd back up. Damn._
He grinned down at her. "That was fucking fantastic. But now what?"
She shrugged, obviously irritated with herself. "Now I'm dead. You have a thing for choking me."
He didn't like that for a lot of reasons. Mainly because she was giving up too easy.
He shook his head, "You will be, with that attitude. Think."
Her eyes went hot and angry, lips twisted into a sneer. "I don't know," she spat. "Jesus. You act like you actually want me to be able to take you down."
He blinked_. Is that what this is? I want her to be able to fight me off_? He shrugged it off.
"Listen, if you can't get past me, how're you going to get away from someone who's really trying to hurt you?"
"Wait for you to come save that day," she responded flatly.
_Enough of this shit._ His voice went cold and steely on its own accord. "What would you have done in New Syria? If you knew I wasn't coming for you?"
She jerked, whipping her head around to glare at him. "I wouldn't have slipped Imam sleeping pills." Her face fell then. "Asshole. I'm done. Get off."
_She drugged Abu? What the fuck? Why didn't I know that? _
He rocked back onto his heels before standing. She didn't bother to get up, just crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away.
"You drugged him? Why?"
_Gotta remember to lock those med cabinets again. _
She made a rude noise. " You really think he just let me walk off the fucking ship?"
_Huh. _Riddick frowned_. I almost killed him for that. _
"That was stupid."
"Duly noted. I've had seven years to meditate on it, thanks."
"So have I." He hadn't meant to say it out loud. And he sure as fuck hadn't anticipated the force behind those words.
There was a long silence.
"I know. I won't do it again. Pinky swear. You can just leave me on the ship." She was smiling again, all wistful like she already knew the answer. He gave it to her anyway, just to be clear.
"No." He felt his lips twitch. "Hell no."
"You think I'll run?"
"I think you'd try."
_And I was dumb enough to teach you how to pilot._
He sighed, ran a hand over his face.
"We talked about this. Can't keep you safe if you're not with me."
She wasn't buying it. Didn't matter, not in the long run. But the thought of having to hold her down when he put the chains on set his teeth on edge.
"Why can't I just _go_ with you then?" She sat up, drawing her legs against her like a shield. "Why do I have to be on a - a fucking leash?"
_Because beautiful girls don't just pop up in shit holes like Nibiru without drawing way too much fucking attention._ He crouched down and ran his hand along her jaw, tried his hardest to sound comforting. "Don't make this difficult."
She made a hurt noise, pushed his hand away. "God, you sound like Johns."
He had to try very hard to keep his hands to himself.
Stared hard at her for a long time, not really trusting himself to speak.
After a while, her face went flat and distant like she was dreaming she were somewhere else.
He stood abruptly, strode over to the door.
"Get washed up." He exited, switching the lights off as he went.
* * *
The city was quiet. An eerie subdued silence, suffocated. But underneath that he could swear he heard screaming. A million outraged voices whispering at once. Of rebellion. Freedom. A million years too late.
"Abu."
He jumped, turned to look at a point somewhere above his wife's head. It'd become impossible to look her in the face anymore. Into red rimmed eyes and a mouth framed in premature frown lines.
"Yes."
"There are…men. At the door." Her eyes slotted over to where Ziza was playing. "They have guns."
There was nothing to say, so he said nothing.
Lajjun closed the distance between them. Her hand was gentle on his arm, but her eyes were gleaming with an intensity that frightened him.
There was the sound of boot steps from the house. Tentative at first, searching, and then with purpose.
Potent fear, painful in its onslaught, rushed through his body.
_How much faith, Father?_
Not scathing. Not cruel and enticing like he'd always remembered. But challenging. It had always been a challenge. How foolish he felt.
_I never knew._
The fear ebbed, receded until it was nothing more than a slight shaking of his hands.
A company of heavily armed men rounded the corner to the garden, hands resting lightly on their weapons. Ziza looked up from her toys and smiled at them. She waved. One waved back.
Lajjun whispered something to him frantically, fingers digging into his arm. He heard nothing but the fear, something that surprised him.
There was nothing to fear. Not anymore. He looked back down to her and smiled genuinely, lovingly. Bent down and kissed her. Remembered the first time they'd made love, how she'd smiled against his lips. How beautiful she'd been.
"Tonight," he whispered into her hair, watching the men over her shoulder. "Leave this place tonight."
He pried her fingers from his arm gently. Walked over to Ziza and plucked her up out of the sandbox. Hugged her until she started squirming. Putting her down took monumental effort.
She giggled, skipped over and hid amongst Lajjun's robes. He took one last look at his wife and wondered how he'd ever felt fear. She held her head high, despite the tears running down her face, and nodded once.
Abu inclined his head. Turned and walked to the group of men. Spread his hands, welcoming. "Brothers."
22. The Best Laid Plans
It was going to take a couple hours to hit dirt. Well, not dirt. Not really. The planet was inhospitable to human life, so everything that was alive was on the colossus of a docking station sticking out of the earth like a butcher's knife. That's where they were headed.
Riddick was checking and double checking their gear bags, even though they both knew he didn't need to. Had packed them both himself. He was staying away from her because she had pissed him off.
_Good_, she thought, more than a little bitter. _Asshole wants me to play along? Pretend I'm okay with being dragged around on a leash because it'll make him feel better? Fuck that._
So, maybe going out bare faced in public – even on a backwater space heap like Nibiru – wasn't the greatest idea. Not with the bounty on her head. But chaining her up wasn't the only option and she knew it. And he knew it too, the bastard. He could leave her on the ship. Wasn't like she was going to take off and leave him there. Alone. In a place he didn't belong. Like he had done to her.
_Like he did to me. _And then, _I wasn't alone. I had Abu. Stop it._
She pulled herself up out of the co-pilot's chair and dropped into Riddick's designated seat. It felt strange. Too big. She wondered if he had had it modified to suit his bulk. Whatever. She scooted to the edge of the seat and peered into view screen situated in the console. Watched the planet roll closer, grow larger on the screen. It was disconcerting. She wished they could've left protective panels up, so she could see through the front shield; but that was impossible since the "plan" didn't involve both of them been sucked out into dead space when they hit the planet's atmo.
That would probably piss him off even more.
_Whatever._ She kicked the edge of the console in irritation. Then again, just because.
God damn, but she was twitchy. Had been since she'd set up things for landing after Riddick had pitched a fit in their bunk. She'd tried to work that off with the short spar they'd had after he'd pulled himself up out of the infirmary. Hadn't done much good.
She didn't want to land on Nibiru. _It's not just the whole playing slave-girl thing, either. I'm scared. I'm scared about what we're going to find in this place. What's going to find us. _It didn't make any sense. She had never been there before, barely knew anything about it. Used to be some sort of huge research site. Now it wasn't. Now it was just another wasted fringe planet left to whoever and whatever decided to stop there and stay. He was taking her to a world filled with people other worlds didn't want. And he was putting her in chains? In fucking handcuffs? And telling her _not to make things difficult?_
Now she was angry again. She kicked the console once more. Hard.
"Feel better?"
She fought the urge to jump out of his seat. Leaned back. Tried to kick her feet up on the console. It hurt. _I really need some shoes. _"Yeah. Lots."
"Hurt your foot?" All concern itself, he slid into the co-pilot's chair, turned to face her. She glared ahead at the lowered protective panel. He reached over, took her foot in his hand and began to rub it. Softly. Thumbs circling her Achilles in a way that made her press into him even though she didn't want to.
"Trying to break my ship, Jack?"
She snorted. Shot him a look.
"Fuck you. I'm the one who scouted this out and found a way in. All you did was kill the previous owner."
He stopped rubbing. Then he laughed. Started rubbing again. "Forgot about that."
A while later he said, "I didn't kill that guy. You asked me not to. Said he didn't deserve to die just because we needed a ship."
"You didn't kill him because I asked you not to." She wasn't sure how she felt about that. That she had – that she _had _had – that much influence over him. Back then, she would've been goddamn giddy about it. Now it just kinda scared her.
"Nope." He shot her a wolfish grin and she had to remember that she was angry with him. "Talked him into , uh, donating it. Used my intimidating manner."
She tried to glare again, but ended up laughing. Smiling at her, he lifted her foot and nuzzled it, kissed it. She remembered her dream about the altar. Only now she was sitting on it. On a throne. With Riddick at her bloody feet.
She jerked her foot back down and stood up. "That…that tickles."
She risked another look. He wasn't smiling anymore. Just staring at her – face unreadable. His hand moved around his back and she tensed. His face went dark, angry. He brought out the chain. Thin and long with manacles and a clasp to go around her neck.
Jack stared at it for a very, very long time. Watched him wind it through his fingers, watched it slither onto the floor. She didn't even move when he stood, chest against hers, warm breath ruffling her hair.
When she finally looked up, she wished that she hadn't. His gaze damn near pinned her to the bulkhead, eyes searching for an answering she wasn't sure she wanted to give.
"If I leave 'em off, you gonna run?"
"No." Without hesitation. "No, I won't. I won't run. Not from you."
"You'll do what I say. Run. Hide. Fight. No questions. No trying to play hero."
"Yes."
The silence stretched out so long she seriously started to wonder if they'd been talking at all.
"Okay."
* * *
The look she gives him then damn near puts him on his knees.
She hadn't looked at him like that since she was a little girl. All wide-eyed and happy and trusting. Like he was back to being her hero. Like he hadn't brought those chains up with half a mind to hold her down and force her into them.
Didn't really know why he didn't.
Maybe he actually believed that she would stick by him without the chains. Do what he said. She wasn't stupid.
That and he wasn't really sure she wouldn't find a way to slip the chains anyway. She'd done it before. He'd taught her. And then he would have to track her down and they really didn't have that much time to waste.
His plan was kinda time sensitive. Get in, stock up, find a doc, do the thing, and get out. Simple. Easy.
If things went as planned she wouldn't even have time to know what the fuck was up. Which was exactly what he wanted.
Having her up an about and cooperating could only make things easier. The way she was looking at him, though…yeah, yeah he could get used to it. Didn't want to mess it up.
So he left with just a short kiss. Couldn't help biting her a little. She seemed to like it.
He left. But not before he heard what sounded like one of the floor grates being wrenched up. And then the sound of the chain being dropped into the innards of the ship, clanking against pipes on the way down.
Just in case.
_That's my girl._
* * *
Toombs watched the little ship break atmo and leave a trail of fire and grit behind it.
Goddamn, but that was a beautiful sight. Eight million creds going past right before his eyes.
He would've done it for less. He'd been looking for Riddick for _years._ Since the clusterfuck that happened on the crazy whore Chillingworth's ship. Back when the bounty had been a lousy one point five.
Now, though? Now every merc in the quadrant was gonna have a hard-on for his mark.
They'd already picked up heat signatures on six different mercenary vehicles since they'd been circling in the orbit of this little hell-hole.
Two had been blown out of the sky before they knew what hit them. The other four had wised up after that and now they were playing hide-and-seek with each other. Trying to ghost the competition.
And that was just fine. Let them worry about each other. He was going to worry about the eight million creds currently headed toward the docking station.
Smiling at that thought, he brought up the briefing file on the ship's comm pad. Nothing he hadn't seen before, not really. The little incident at New Mecca's embassy was just a blurb in long, long list.
Dumpster baby. Ping-ponged around in foster care. First felony at age thirteen. Assault and battery. Now wasn't that a fucking surprise?
After that it was reform school, military academy, and eventually recruitment to the Muspell system's Special Forces. All kinds of decorations and commendations. Until he went ape shit and wiped out his entire platoon and more than a few civilians while stationed…here.
"Well, ain't that special?" Taking his little girlfriend to the site of one of the biggest military accidents ever reported.
Toombs snorted. Closed the file and turned to the crew cabin behind him. The rest of his four man crew were strapped into their chairs, hooked into the cryo-cyclers.
He'd had second thoughts about bringing such a small crew. His last encounter with Riddick left him with the impression that more guns could never be a bad thing. But a four way cut was already paining him enough. No way was he losing out on any more cashy money, not if he could help it.
And then there was the girl. Apparently the same girl he'd watched blow Chillingworth's head into a million bitty little pieces on the Kubla Khan's security feed all those years ago.
She was part of the deal, too. Skipped out on her rich hubby to run away with a mass murderer. Girl had to have some issues.
Still, from the pictures in the briefing files, he could see she was a looker. Even with her junkie hollow cheeks and wide, spacey eyes.
Probably Riddick was fucking the girl. Maybe had been since she was a kid and was just coming back for more. Maybe she'd be useful. Make it a little easier to get Riddick to cooperate.
If not, well, he'd just stick a shock collar around her pretty little neck and make sure _she_ didn't cause any hiccups in the plan. Riddick was going into cryo the minute they got his big ass on board. No chance on that.
He meditated on that for a minute. On what he was going to do with his cut. Watched the fire-trail of the descending ship growing smaller. Smaller.
Soon.
23. Nibiru
It was genetic engineering at its finest: they had created a breed of soldiers who served unquestionably. And who were really, really fucking hard to kill.
Tried to test their methods on him. And it was glorious. Better than they had ever anticipated. Except that the taking orders blindly part hadn't really stuck. Guess they'd figured that out somewhere in the time it took for him to tear their operation apart from the ground up.
But that was done and over with and now…now Jack was sitting on the edge of her seat, death grip on the controls, trying not to slam them into Nibiru's docking terminal.
"Easy, kid. Easy."
She just gripped the controls harder and edged them forward. He very deliberately did not reach out and take the controls back.
After way too long they were finally connected, and she was smiling like she had just slipped the chains for the very first time.
Impulsively, he pulled her into his lap. Kissed her. She liked that. He leaned back and let her set the pace. She liked that a lot. Showed him exactly how much.
Kept his hands locked behind his head the whole time. Even when she asked him to touch her. That was an experience in and of itself.
Afterwards, she was resting against his chest, breathing hard. Her shirt had come off at some point, and he stroked his thumbs up and down her sweat slicked back.
The needle would go in somewhere around her third or fourth cervical vertebrae. Easier access to the cord and stem from there.
He fingered the back of her neck for a second, lost in thought. He couldn't remember if it'd hurt when they'd done it to him. Hoped not. The plan wasn't to hurt her.
But he would if necessary. Wondered if she'd look at him the same if she knew that. Probably not.
_No time for second guessing. Time to go._
He scooped her up, smiling when she giggled. Took her to the bunk and watched her change. She blushed and it was gorgeous.
Wondered if she'd be like that, after. Smiling and beautiful and soft. Soft skin, at least. Rapid muscle development was almost guaranteed.
Hoped she's still look at him like that.
He could get used to it. She was so damn happy it was intoxicating. Just happy that he was letting her come along and not chaining her up.
Almost made him feel bad about what he was about to do to her.
* * *
Something like shock crossed Riddick's face when they stepped off of the docking ramp and into the terminal corridor. She could see it in his shoulders, the way they went cable wire tight, when they stopped in front of one of the windows overlooking the earth below.
Jack felt herself tense. Unsure if he was about to change his mind. Unsure about what she'd do if he did.
_Threw the chain away already, _she though, as if it meant anything. Wished she'd hid it in a better place.
And then Riddick laughed. A harsh, barking sound. His huge, warm hand was spanning her back, pulling her closer to him. She relaxed, reminded herself to breathe.
"C'mon."
"Where're we going?"
"Shopping. Fuel, rations, shit like that. You see anything you need – anything you want, let me know."
She grinned, elbowed him lightly. "Anything? Even combat boots? I'm starting to hate these slippers."
"Anything," he replied quickly, voice rougher than normal.
She gave him a quick, surprised look. Delighted. Couldn't help melting against him at the warm, indulgent look he caught her with. Fell into step beside him easily.
"What if I want pretty stuff," she asked softly, grinning. "Jewelry and makeup and slinky dresses."
Riddick made a groaning noise that tickled. Smoothed his hand down her back, over the curve of her ass.
"You want a slinky dress," he asked, all interest and hunger. "Shit, Jack. I'll buy you a slinky dress. Buy you two. Can't promise they'll stay in one piece very long."
She giggled, pressing her face against his side. Suddenly so ridiculously happy it made her light headed. "Beast. You're terrible."
Riddick made a concurring grunt. Took her hand and led her through the maze of corridors.
Like they were just two lovers stopping for supplies on their way across the galaxy.
* * *
They had made their way through the station quickly. Bypassing the more crowded common levels and central elevators by sticking to the service lifts on the rim on the great structure.
She kept her word. Kept her hood up and didn't look too hard at strangers. Stayed within reach.
The trade market was massive, took up several of the central floors. After months on a quiet, dark ship it was sensory overload.
Jack rocked back on her heels, grateful for Riddick's steady hand on her back.
Felt him slip something small and metallic into her robe pocket. Stuck her hand in. Pulled out a UD credit chip.
_Oh._ She had thought he'd slipped her a blade.
Riddick smirked at her, understanding. Nodded at the stands in front of them.
The pickings were slim, but she managed to find underwear and pants and soap that smelled a lot better than what Riddick had on the ship. Even found a decent pair of boots that hadn't been worn too much and were more or less her size.
Riddick didn't carry the bags.
Exhausted, giddy from the overload, she waited a small distance away as he haggled over prices for food, fuel, and medical supplies. The seller tried to up the price when Riddick told him he wanted the goods taken up to the ship. Riddick gave him a long blank look. The man quailed and scurried away.
Jack watched, absently amused. She'd almost forgotten that he terrified other people, too.
Riddick stalked back over to her, swiping an apple out of one of the stands on his way. Jack caught the stand owner's eye. Fresh fruit was probably a rarity on a port like this, even if they did have a level for food production. He looked between her and Riddick and turned away.
She snorted. Took the apple he pressed into her palm. "Can't take you anywhere, Richard. You're scaring the locals."
His lips twitched. She bit into the apple, humming as tangy sweetness met her tongue. Riddick made a satisfied noise of his own.
"Stay here for a minute, okay? Someone I gotta talk to."
"Alright," she agreed, around a mouthful of apple. It was really, really good.
She could feel his eyes hard on her. Calculating. She smiled up at him sweetly, not having to fake it. "I said alright. Go on. I won't attract any attention. Pinky swear."
He stooped, face to face with her. "You weren't so fucking gorgeous, I'd almost believe that." She blushed furiously.
"Stay put." Riddick turned on his heel and melted into the crowd.
She waited until her heart thub-dubbed back into its normal rhythm before shuffling off to the edges of the market.
Munched on the apple, watching other people live their lives. It was a busy station for a supposed-to-be-dead planet. Looked like the people there were getting by, even if it was a struggle. The station itself was kind of beat up and dingy – but the people looked healthy enough. Kinda skinny like they didn't get much protein. Nothing worse than what she'd seen on other stations. There were levels for everything. Housing. Medical attention. Food production. Atmosphere and water processing. Waste disposal. Shop and repairs. There was even a level for laundry.
Reminded her of a beehive. Busy, busy. Normal people doing normal things and trying to make a normal life for themselves. Suddenly, she wanted to be one of those people so bad her stomach hurt. She tossed the apple into a bin, half finished. Went back to watching people.
Not a lot of kids around. The ones she saw were working just like the adults. Pushing carts back and forth to different levels, arranging merchandise, haggling over prices.
One of the girls looked like Ziza might when she got older. If she got older.
The thought rose up like a tidal wave, left her breathless in its wake.
_Jesus. They could all be dead and I wouldn't even know it. I haven't even thought about it._
And it was true. Hurt worse than the possibility of them being dead, the fact that in over twelve weeks she'd hardly thought about them.
_Jesus. I was fighting my own demons. Still am maybe. Even if now he's giving me sweets and calling me pretty and being really, really…nice._
_That doesn't excuse it. Abu protected you. He _loved _you. Ziza damn near worshipped you. And you're too busy playing happy honeymooners and going on shopping sprees to remember that you left them behind to deal with a very powerful, very pissed off psycho-fuck. They might've died to get you away from him._
The shame was hot and immediate and all consuming.
_You better not start fucking _crying _in the middle of this crowd._
She wiped her eyes viciously, and backed away to the edges of the market. Wished that Riddick would come back. Get her _out _of there, away from all these people.
She hurried into one of the elevators. Started pressing buttons blindly, leaning back against the wall when the lift lurched upwards. Pressing her palms against her eyes to beat back tears.
She felt the lift come to a halt. The doors slid open with a quiet hiss.
_Right_, she thought_. Right. Where the hell am I?_
Jack peeked her head around the door, stared down the hallway. Double door at the end with a sign 'Sterile Area: Do Not Enter". _Huh. Medical floor._ Tucked back in the lift to see the level number. Thirteen.
Stepped out of the elevator and slammed into a wall of black. Familiar hands wrapped hard around her arms.
"Jack?" She pulled back to look up at him. He looked startled. That faded quickly into suspicion. "What're you doing up here? Told you to stay put."
Her arms started to hurt. She took a long shuddering breath. "Just – just get me outta here, yeah?"
"What happened," he demanded. There was suspicion quickly turning into anger.
Jack shook her head, tears pushing up to the surface again. "Nothing. Nothing happened. Just – just a little overwhelmed." She could tell he didn't buy it, and was pathetically grateful that he didn't ask any more questions – just maneuvered them back into the elevator and let her compose herself.
After a while she could feel him looming behind her. Watching. Waiting.
Sighing, she flipped the robe's hood back over her head. "I'm alright. I'm fine. Really. Let's go load up the cargo."
* * *
He spent the next two hours watching her out of the corner of his eye.
Couldn't figure out what had made her leave the market. What had made her go from giggling and pressing on him and giving off scents that made him wanna do something imprudent...to crying in an elevator. Wondered, darkly, if someone had said something to her. Tried something she didn't like. He fucking hoped not. People tended to ask questions when bodies started popping up out of nowhere. Started compiling a mental list of places to hide a body on a spaceport.
Just in case.
Turned his attention back to Jack. She'd been silent since they came back to the ship. Hadn't even touched the food he'd put in front of her. Unfocused. Withdrawn. Gave him time to get a real good look. Her head was down, shoulders rolled forward. A fat tear rolled down the tip of her nose and splashed onto her plate.
Riddick felt his eyes narrow. _What the fuck?_
Decided, quickly, that he could just cram the body into an air vent if need be. They'd be gone long before it started to smell.
"Do you think they're dead?"
_Huh._ He stopped plotting, started listening. _Who's dead?_
"Abu," she said quietly. "And Lajjun. Ziza. Do you think they're dead? That he killed them - had them killed? Because of me? Because I left?"
He considered that for a long time. Thought about what he would do if someone took her from him. What he had done. Didn't look too shiny for the holy man, he admitted. To himself. Not to her.
To her he said, "The holy man can take care of himself. Made it off that planet, didn't he?"
_Because Frye had a morality crisis and I decided to see where it went. 'Cause it bothered me to think about leaving you and you wouldn't leave anyone behind. Doubt the old man is gonna be that lucky twice._
He didn't say that out loud, either. Watched her nod and push her food to the other side of her plate. She didn't look convinced. It mattered, but he didn't know why. Dead or alive it wasn't likely she was going to see any of them again, either way. Not like he had any compelling reasons to set foot on Helion soil anymore. Not now that she was with him.
_She feels guilty 'cause they might be dead and she's not. She here. With me. And she's starting to like it._
He chewed that over for a while, liking the taste.
Jack looked up at him then, eyes clouded with grief. Shame. _Guilt_. Looked so much like Carolyn had before she'd gotten stupid and gotten killed, that Riddick felt his jaw clench hard enough to hurt.
_Fuck._
He sighed, pitched his voice low and soothing. "Look, we'll send a wave to New Mecca once we hit Deep. Still got the codes from when his wife waved me."
That brightened her up enough for her to finish her food and help load the new supplies. Finished with enough time for him to slip away to the bridge and send out an encrypted wave to Abu's wife. It'd take a couple hours, maybe a day or two, to come back. Satisfied that it was vague enough not to raise any suspicions if intercepted, he sent it, turned to leave. The comm beeped once, twice. Riddick turned back to the console, read the comm. An automatic response.
Codes were no longer valid. More than that, had never existed. Which wasn't right at all. They had been wiped. Wiped because someone had been trying to make sure that the holy man's woman couldn't send for anyone else. They knew.
He wasn't surprised. Not really. Hadn't made too much of an effort to hide his face from the Embassy security scanners. Anyone looking hard enough would be able to make the connection between him and Jack and Abu and that planet.
He stared at the comm for a long time. Then he deleted the message and wiped the codes. He'd tell her something. Later. Didn't have time to deal with it now.
Had a date with a doctor. Or something. At least someone who could run the machines he knew they'd salvaged from the old testing facility. Juggerson, or something like that. Old guy. Solid. Riddick had sniffed him out scrubbing bedpans on the thirteenth floor. Asked him some disarming questions, to make him feel at ease.
Told him some bullshit sob story about how he had a little sister who was sick. Congential something or other. Made her body weak, painful. Made her dependant on pain killers and hypes. Jack's scars would help support that little fib.
Told the man he wanted to fix her. Make her stronger. Offered money up front. The doc had seemed kinda hesitant at first, which tickled the shit out of Riddick. Place might not have been as much of a hell hole as when he'd last been there, but people didn't stay because of the fucking scenery. Everyone there was hiding from something, to some extent. Riddick was willing to bet his favorite shiv that the good doc had gotten in trouble somewhere for having a flexible view on the Hippocratic oath. Still, the old guy seemed concerned. Asked if Jack wanted the procedure, understood the risks.
Riddick had pulled out an untraceable chip with over five thousand credits. Maybe not enough to set the old man up on a Core-world, but enough to make him king of the station.
"She don't need to understand shit," he'd said, and put the chip in the man's hand. Doc didn't ask any more questions after that. Told Riddick the blending process would be easier if she were willing. Assured him, grinning, that if she wasn't, he had ways to make her. Riddick had thought about yanking the man's tongue out through his throat. Didn't. Just clapped him on the back like they were buddies. Like he wasn't planning on snapping his neck after the procedure was done and Jack was safely back on the ship.
The good doctor had told Riddick he could find and secure a room. Privately. Told him to bring his "sister" down to level five in three hours. That had been two and a half hours ago.
Time to go.
End file.
| fanfiction |
carbon nanotubes belong to one of the most promising candidates in the era of modern nanoelectronics . they can be generated by wrapping a graphene sheet along different directions as given by the so called chiral vector @xcite .
interestingly , depending on the chiral vector , the tubes show markedly different electronic properties ranging from metallic to semiconducting . a considerable amount of theoretical and experimental research has been done to explore their varied interesting properties , which range from very hard inert materials through good conductors to storage devices@xcite . concerning the electronic transport properties of metallic single - wall carbon nanotubes ( swcnt )
experiments@xcite have nicely demonstrated ballistic transport and conductance quantization with conductance values equal to 2@xmath1 , @xmath2 being the conductance quantum and the factor 2 in the first expression arising from two spin degenerated bands at the fermi level .
similar quantization effects have been recently observed in multi - wall nanotubes ( mwcnts ) @xcite .
however , in contrast to the theoretical expected values conductance steps as low as 0.5@xmath3 or 1@xmath1 were found@xcite . even under the usual assumption that only the outermost shell is the one contributing to transport , such small conductance values suggest that transport channels may be partially or completely closed .
blocking of conductance channels in mwcnts has been recently addressed in other theoretical works@xcite .
we will investigate in this paper conductance quantization in finite size cnts contacted with metallic electrodes .
we will show an example of channel blocking and demonstrate that the total conductance of muti - wall cnts can not be simply obtained by just adding the individual shell conductances .
we investigate electronic transport in a simple model system consisting of carbon nanotubes which are attached to semi - infinite electrodes having an fcc(111 ) geometry .
a typical configuration is shown in figure [ fig : fig1 ] . to describe the electronic structure of both subsystems we use a single - orbital nearest - neighbours tight - binding approach .
it includes the @xmath4-orbitals of the carbon atoms on the tube and s - like orbitals in the electrodes .
the metal - cnt coupling terms are set constant for all neighbours of a given carbon atom .
the hamiltonian is @xmath5 @xmath6 is the cnt hamiltonian .
its first term describes the intra - shell interaction with a hopping integral @xmath7 which is set at the constant value of 2.66 ev .
the second summand is the inter - shell interaction in the case of mwcnts ( @xmath8 ) .
@xmath9 is a normalizing factor , @xmath10 is the difference between the shell radii and @xmath11 is the angle between the two @xmath12 orbitals on different shells .
finally , @xmath13 is the hamiltonian of the electrodes and @xmath14 is the mutual interaction .
the linear conductance @xmath15 can be related to the electronic transmission probability @xmath16 according to the landauer formula ( at zero temperature ) : @xmath17 .
@xmath16 can be calculated using green function techniques@xcite via @xmath18 \nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] @xmath19 is the green function of the scattering region ( in our case the cnt plus two surface layers ) which can be calculated by means of the dyson equation @xmath20 { g_{\cal m } } = { 1 } \nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] the self - energies @xmath21 contain information on the electronic structure of the leads ( via the surface green function @xmath22 ) as well as on the electrode - scattering region coupling ( via @xmath23 ) . finally the spectral functions @xmath24 are related to the self - energies by @xmath25 .
we do not consider charge transfer effects between the tubes and the metallic electrodes.the use of a single - orbital picture to describe the electrodes allows to write an analytic expression for the electrodes surface green function in @xmath26-space ( assuming l = r)@xcite .
@xmath27 view of a ( 2,2)@(6,6 ) double walled carbon nanotube sandwiched between two fcc(111 ) leads ( upper panel ) and details of the contact region ( lower panel ) .
the first two layers of the electrodes belong to the scattering region while the third layer extends to infinity and is part of the contact . ] we first consider the diameter dependence of the conductance for swcnts . in fig .
[ fig : swcnt ] we show the transmission as a function of the energy for ( 2,2 ) and ( 6,6 ) finite size tubes ( 10 unit cells ) . as a reference we also plot the transmission of an infinite tube . for the latter clear quantization steps
are obtained and the conductance around the fermi level is 2@xmath1 .
the finite size tubes show however a more irregular , spiky behaviour which can be related to finite size effects and to the lifting of some degeneracies as a result of the coupling to the electrodes .
more importantly , while the ( 2,2 ) cnt shows conductance oscillations peaking at 2@xmath1 , the ( 6,6 ) tube reaches only on average one quantum of conductance , i.e. a transport channel is apparently closed .
we can roughly understand what happens by representing the electronic selfenergy into the eigenstate basis @xmath28 of an isolated cnt , with @xmath29 .
after some manipulations @xcite and assuming a constant coupling of each carbon atom to its nearest neighbours metal atoms @xcite , we arrive at the following expression : @xmath30 } } } } { \sum_{n}c_{n,\sigma}}{e^{i{\bf k_{||}}{\bf m_{|| } } } } } \nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] electronic transmission of ( 2,2 ) and ( 6,6 ) swcnts ( 10 unit cells ) .
the strong oscillations are related to finite size effects . for ( 2,2 ) two transport channels at the fermi level are open , while for the ( 6,6 ) cnt only one channel does contribute . ]
notice that the index @xmath31 runs now over the cnt atomic slice in _ direct _ contact with the metal surface and the index @xmath32 $ ] denotes the nearest neighbours on the electrode surface of a given carbon atom @xmath31 .
the function @xmath33 contains information on the symmetries of the cnt wave functions via @xmath34 , and on the electrode surface topology , via the @xmath35 factor .
we only need to look at the behaviour of @xmath33 for @xmath36 , since these are the two eigenstates crossing the fermi point in metallic cnts .
remembering that the expansion coefficients @xmath34 of the @xmath4 and @xmath37 orbitals along the nanotube circumference comprising @xmath38 atoms are proportional to @xmath39 and @xmath40 , respectively , the sums in @xmath33 can be performed . as a result
we find that @xmath41 identically vanishes for the ( 6,6 ) cnt while it is nonzero for the ( 2,2 ) tube .
hence the antibonding @xmath37 orbital does not couple to the electrodes for the ( 6,6 ) cnt and it thus gives no contribution to the conductance .
the next issue we have considered is if the conductance of a dwcnt consisting of two armchair swcnts can be simply obtained by adding the corresponding conductances of the individual shells .
if this holds then , accordning to our previous result , the conductance of a finite size ( 2,2)@xmath42(6,6 ) dwcnt should yield 3@xmath1 .
two factors can however modify this simple picture .
one is the inter - shell coupling , the other is the cnt - electrode interface .
we have just seen , that the latter can even induce channel blocking .
energy dependent transmission of a ( 2,2)@(6,6 ) dwcnt ( 10 unit cells ) for different values of the inter - shell coupling @xmath43 .
the intra - shell hopping @xmath44 . ]
figure [ fig : interwall ] shows the transmission function for different values of the inter - shell coupling parameter @xmath43 .
the main influence of @xmath43 is to introduce mixing of the transport channels which is rather strong at energies far away from the fermi level @xmath45 and leads for some energies to a drastic reduction of the conductance when comparing with infinite tubes .
the effect near the fermi level is however less strong .
thus , for @xmath46 the conductances can not simply be added since inter - shell interference effects must be considered .
more interesting however is the behaviour for _ zero _ inter - shell interaction . even in this case
the total conductance near the fermi level is not simply 3@xmath1 although it is larger than in the former case ( @xmath46 ) .
the imperfect addition of conductances is now related to interference effects caused by non - diagonal contributions of the electrodes self - energies , @xmath47 . as a result
the transport channels are mixed in a similar way as for non - zero inter - shell coupling .
although there may be some special cases where conductances can be added , we can conclude that in general quantum interference effects induced by finite size effects ( the existence of the metal - cnt interface ) or by the coupling between the nanotube shells will preclude this simple view .
in this paper we have investigated quantum transport in finite size armchair single- and double - wall carbon nanotubes contacted by metallic electrodes . we have shown that symmetries of the cnt - electrode coupling , hidden in the electronic self - energies may lead to suppression of transport channels , thus reducing the conductance around the fermi level when comparing with the theoretical ideal case of infinite nanotubes . moreover , for dwcnts the simple approach of adding the single - shell conductances has been shown to be incorrect , even in the case of no inter - shell interactions .
this can be traced back to interference effects induced by non - diagonal components of the self - energy .
these results accentuate the important role played by the interface in determining electronic transport on nanoscale systems . , using @xmath28 and the electrode wave functions @xmath48 we get : @xmath49 , which can be put in the form of eq .
( 1 ) by defining @xmath50 .
@xmath51 is a function of the wave vector perpendicular to the metal surface , only , and the 2d vector @xmath52 runs over the surface layer .
, this approximation can be justified because of the almost perfect fitting of the ( 2,2 ) and ( 6,6 ) cnts lattice constants to the interatomic distances at the electrode surface @xcite .
thus , each c atom interacts with just 3 atoms on the metal surface . | arxiv |
My Little Pony Salvation
Salvation
**Summary: Pinkie Pie is finding it harder and harder to smile. She's beginning to hear the dark voices again and she doesn't know what to do. Can a certain Pegasus help her become the laughing Earth Pony she is? Humanized Ponyville**
* * *
><p>I lay here in my room starring out the window not wanting to move from my spot today. I could here Mr. and Mrs. Cake down in the kitchen getting ready for the day ahead. The voices have returned and they were scaring me. I've been avoiding all of my friends and I don't know why. It's like they were never my friends to begin with. Getting up from my bed I walk over to the full length mirror in my room and stare into my reflection. My skin has gone pale and my eyes have lost their spark.<p>
'_Look at you Pinkie, so sad, so alone._' A voice laughed in my head, I dug my fingers into my curl hair and slightly bend over.
"Shut up you!" I whisper shout, urging for that thing to go away.
'_Why would I shut up when I'm your voice of reason?_' She taunted, I look into the mirror and gasp taking a step back. In the mirror I saw myself standing there, but I was different. In the mirror I had dark insane blue eyes and straight pink hair.
"Just stop please!" I begged quietly as to not alarm anyone in the shop of Sugar Cube Corner.
'_I will never stop Pinkie. You need to get a hold of yourself and grasp onto who you truly are. You must accept me!_' I felt tears prick at my eyes and I began to shack my head violently.
"I will never accept you Pinkamena! You're the opposite of happiness and that is not me anymore!" I finally shout at my mirror and I cover my mouth when I realize I had done what I always feared to do. The voices below had gone quiet and I wondered what Mr and Mrs Cake were thinking.
'_Ha! You see right there. You say you are full of happiness but you acknowledge my existance therefore you have to know that most the things I say is right!_' She continued to taunt. I found myself falling to the floor onto my knees beginning to cry. I didn't want to be like this anymore. I was a normal. I believed in smiling and making others smile.
"Enough already alright Pinkamena. I don't need you anymore so please just go away!" I begged again using the bed to push myself back onto my feet.
'_Pinkie darling I can't just go away...you know and I both know this. I have lived in you your whole life. Until the day you accept me I will always appear to you like this._' She told me and I turned my back to the mirror starring out the window to see that life was beginning to come alive in Ponyville. I saw my friends right outside the shop and I subconsciously wrap my arms around myself.
"But if I accept you I chance loosing my friends. They would never accept you to, they wouldn't understand." I found myself slowly turning back around to face her. Pinkamena only sighed before lifting her hand up placing it against the glass. I lifted my own hand and rested it on the glass against hers.
'_If they can't accept all of you Pinkie Pie then why are they your friends. Friends should accept all of you.'_ She said and I closed my eyes trying to understand what she was trying to tell me.
"Pinkie what are you doing?" I lift my head up and stare at my door. Rainbow Dash was standing there staring at me with worry. I look back to see my hand still against the mirror, but now I was not staring at Pinkmena but at myself. Putting on my smile I look back to Dashie.
"I'm just being same old me Dashie, nothing to worry about!" I say pulling my hand back and let it hang at my side.
"I sure hope so. Mrs Cake said she heard you scream at someone and everyone is a bit worried about you." I felt my smile become forced as my eyes felt like they became dead. No one should be worried about me. I was Pinkie Pie and I was always full of smiles.
"Everything is fine here Rainbow Dash nothing to worry about." I say closing my eyes as I made my smile grow bigger before tilting my head to the side. I suddenly felt a hand on my cheek and I open my eyes to stare at Rainbow Dash in confusion. She looked so worried.
"Don't do that." She suddenly said.
"Do what?" I asked not understanding what she meant.
"Don't fake your smiles, if something is bothering you let someone know. Talk to someone." She said grabbing a piece of my hair between her thumb and pointer finger and lightly tugged it.
"Rainbow Dash...I..." I began to say but nothing would come out and I felt my arms wrap around myself as I heard Pinkmena begin to laugh deep within the depths of my mind.
"Talk to me Pinkie! Something is wrong and I want to help you. You're always so busy making everyone else smile yet you don't leave time for yourself. Let me in." Rainbow pleaded her hands then resting onto my arms and I starred up into her worried eyes. Finally the first prick of the tears stung and I felt them fall down my cheeks.
"Have you ever felt like your mind doesn't fully belong to you? Like if you give in to what they're saying you won't be you anymore?" I asked lifting my hands to my face and wiped at my eyes. Rainbow gently grabbed onto each of my hands before making me hug her as she hugged onto me.
"What do these voices say?" She asked her hand rubbed down my hair as we stood there.
"They want me to accept them, but I don't want to do that Rainbow Dash. If I do that then I won't be me anymore! She's not a happy person!" I cried burrowing my face into her chest. I heard the others walk into the room.
"Then tell her you're the boss and that you decide who is allowed to be in your mind." She said and I cried harder, I could only hope it would be that easy.
"I've tried Rainbow, trust me I have but she only laughs at me." I explain to her.
"What's her name?" She then asked.
"Pinkamena Diane Pie." I say in defeat, I felt as if she was winning. My other side only cackled and laughed and I let out a whimper. I didn't want to disappear. I loved being happy.
"Tell this Pinkamena Diane Pie that she can't have you." Rainbow suddenly said with anger and I found myself stepping back slightly to look up at her. I was so confused.
"What good will that do?" I ask tilting my head to the side.
"You tell her that you have too many friends to just give in to her." Applejack suddenly said stepping forward.
"Yes, you tell this girl that you have a job to do and that is being happy for all your close friends." Rarity then said next to step forward.
"Oh yes, we would all be so happy if you stayed around longer Pinkie." Fluttershy said taking her spot to next to Applejack.
"Everyone is right Pinkie Pie, it's obvious you view this girl separate from you, but she is still you and you're the one with the control. You're the one who can tell her what to do." Twilight said standing in her spot by the door. I looked to everyone and all I felt like doing was wanting to smile again.
"You see, talking to us was a good thing. Right?" Rainbow Dash asked and I nod my head and soon everyone joined in a group hug.
"Thank you so much you guys." I say.
Soon all of us were leaving Sugar Cube Corner and heading down the street. I walked in pace next to Rainbow Dash, for once she wasn't flying in the air above us. We walked in the back of the group listening to everyone chattering away. For once I was okay with the lack of noise coming from my mouth. For once I wanted to hear everything everyone else had to say. I felt myself slightly jump when a hand slipped into mine, looking down I saw that it was Rainbow Dash and I felt my face heat up. The smile on my face only kept getting bigger. All of us soon had to stop because Rarity had to stop and look at some jewels at a stand something about how they would be good for her next line of clothes.
"PINKIE LOOK OUT!" Twilight suddenly screamed and I jumped looking up to where her hand was pointing. I had no time to move as the flower vase smashed onto my forehead hard. I stumbled into Rainbow Dash and she held onto me as my legs gave out under me. Everything was spinning and voices were becoming distant. So my dizzied images turned to shapes, those shapes turned to shadows and soon everything had gone dark.
I woke in a black room and I stared around it. I already knew where I was and I saw the bars keeping me in. Everything in me ached and I was becoming scared. I heard footsteps echoing, wrapping my arms around my legs I burried my face into my legs. I heard what sounded like a door open before someones hand was running along my arms to my shoulder then into my curly hair.
'_Look at you Pinkie so lost and you're trapped.'_ I couldn't stand hearing Pinkamena.
"I'm only trapped because you locked me up!" I cried out.
'_It was for your own good and you know it. Those girls were going to take you away from me._' She made it sound like she was hurt but I knew better.
"Your wrong! They can help me!" I shouted lifting my head up and glaring at the straight haired girl before me.
_'They cannot help you! Only I can help you Pinkie Pie!_' She shouted slapping her hand across my face. It stung and I felt a few tears leak out.
"I will never accept your help!" I shout again at her.
'_Then you leave me no other choice!_' Pinkamena growled using her foot to push me onto my back before straddling my waste and securing my arms above my head. She leaned over until her forehead rested against mine. I struggled against her the entire time.
"STOP!" I screamed suddenly feeling a pain scorch through my head.
_'I am taking all of your memories Pinkie Pie. You will never again remember your friends. You will accept in the end. We only need each other.' _I screamed as one by one my memories until the tears just stopped. Soon everything just stopped and I was left alone in blackness. I heard a voice calling out to me, something in me told me I should recognize it but I couldn't. I looked around and saw a light and began walking towards it. The voice sounded comforting but that's all I knew about it. I walked until the light completely blinded me. When I opened my eyes I was met with pinkish red eyes and rainbow colored hair.
"Thank God you're finally awake Pinkie Pie." The girl said and I wondered why she called me that name.
"Who are you?" I asked just staring at the girl and I watched as her eyes widened.
"It's me Rainbow Dash. Don't you remember me Pinkie?" She asked and I only stared at her.
"No I don't and my name isn't Pinkie." I said blankly, I watched as she gulped nervously before setting her hand onto mine. I finally noticed that I was in a hospital of some sort.
"What's your name then?" She asked and I went back to staring at her.
"My name is Pinkamena...Pinkamena Diane Pie." I answered.
* * *
><p><strong>So this is my first MLP fic so please be nice. I actually have a lot planned and I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. Please review ^_^<strong>
End file.
| fanfiction |
the radical s - adenosyl - l - methionine ( sam )
superfamily is a group of enzymes that harness the reductive cleavage
of sam to carry out complex radical - mediated transformations .
the superfamily was initially identified on the
basis of a conserved cxxxcxxc motif , which
binds a site - differentiated [ 4fe-4s ] cluster whereby the three cysteine - thiolates
coordinate the cluster .
the fourth iron interacts with the -amino
and -carboxylate of sam . to date , with only a
few notable exceptions , the mechanisms of action for all radical sam
enzymes that have been proposed involve radical - mediated transformations
that are initiated by the 5-deoxyadenosyl radical ( dado ) ,
which is generated from the reductive cleavage of sam ( figure 1a ) .
the exception to this is
the enzyme dph2 involved in diphthamide biosynthesis , which generates
a 3-amino-3-carboxypropyl radical .
the
rna methylases rlmn and cfr consume two equivalents of sam catalyzing
both polar and radical - mediated group transfer reactions in the same
catalytic cycle .
the first equivalent of sam methylates
an active site cys releasing s - adenosylhomocysteine .
binding and reductive cleavage of the second equivalent of sam initiates
the radical - mediated transfer of the methyl group from the active
site methyl - cys residue to either the c2- or c8-position of a2503 in 23s rrna . finally , the cobalamin - dependent radical
sam enzyme tsrm catalyzes the methylation at c8 of the indole on tryptophan
using a sam - derived methyl group .
the mechanism of this reaction remains
to be established , but formation of 5-deoxyadenosine ( 5-dado )
is not observed in this transformation .
schematic of radical
sam chemistry and active site view for the
ligand complexes of burkholderia multivorans quee .
( a ) the [ 4fe-4s ] cluster of a radical sam enzyme is reduced from the
+ 2 to the + 1 oxidation state by an electron from an external source .
in vitro ,
electrons are commonly supplied from nadph via the biological
reducing system fpr / fld or from chemical reductants such as dithionite .
sam is reductively cleaved to form dado and l - methionine
upon inner sphere electron transfer from the [ 4fe-4s ] cluster to the
sulfonium of sam .
some radical sam enzymes reform the
cofactor at the end of the catalytic cycle .
( b ) for bmquee , the 5-carbon of the deoxyadenosine moiety of sam ( maroon )
is 3.9 from the c-6 carbon of the substrate cph4 ( salmon ) ( pdb 4nji ) .
nitrogen atoms are in blue , oxygen are in red , and sulfur are in yellow .
( c ) the 5-carbon of the deoxyadenosine moiety of sam ( maroon )
is 3.2 and 4.9 from a carboxylate oxygen and the c-6 of 6-cp
( gray ) , respectively ( pdb 4njg ) .
recent bioinformatic
analysis of the radical sam superfamily has
revealed > 113 000 homologues in genome sequences , nearly
all
of which are enzymes that have been placed in this superfamily on
the basis of the presence of the conserved cxxxcxxc sequence .
however , the ability of rlmn , cfr , or tsrm to carry out both polar
and/or radical transformations suggests that the conserved sequence
motif may not ideally describe the expected range of reactivity .
perhaps
some of the putative radical sam proteins could utilize the activated
sulfonium in sam to catalyze polar group transfer chemistry .
if true ,
it is likely that nonreductive group transfer chemistry may be an
as yet uncharacterized promiscuous activity in radical sam enzymes .
7-carboxy-7-deazaguanine ( cdg ) synthase ( quee ) is a member of the
radical sam superfamily that catalyzes the radical - mediated ring rearrangement
required to convert 6-carboxy-5,6,7,8-tetrahydropterin ( cph4 ) into cdg , which is the precursor to all pyrrolopyrimidine metabolites
observed in nature .
prior investigations have shown
that quee contains one [ 4fe-4s ] cluster that mediates the reductive
cleavage of sam ( figure 1a ) .
reducing equivalents can be supplied in
vitro from nadph via ferredoxin(flavodoxin):nadp reductase
( fpr ) and flavodoxin ( fld ) or via the chemical reductant dithionite .
once formed , the dado abstracts the c6 hydrogen atom from
the substrate to initiate the ring rearrangement and subsequent elimination
of n5 from the pterin .
recent x - ray
crystal structures of the quee homologue from burkholderia
multivorans ( bmquee ) in complex
with sam and substrate ( cph4 ) , product ( cdg ) , or the substrate
analogue 6-carboxypterin ( 6-cp ) , have provided invaluable snapshots
of the active site of the protein ( figure 1b , figure s1 ) .
the overall structure of the bmquee is similar to other radical sam enzymes , with a few exceptions including an 11-residue insertion in the radical
sam cysteine motif that forms a 310-helix at the surface
of the protein .
the cph4-bound structure of quee shows
that the 5-position of sam is within 3.9 of c-6 of
the substrate , which biochemical studies have shown to be the site
of the h atom abstracted by the dado to initiate catalysis ( figure 1b ) .
these observations are complemented by spectroscopic studies in
other systems that suggest the role of radical sam enzymes is to generate
and shield / protect radical intermediates from off - pathway reactions .
the enzymes act as a scaffold to protect the generated radical species
by shielding it from solvent and by providing a framework to prevent
the radical intermediate from moving great distances by either tightly
binding the intermediate or positioning the necessary reacting partners
within van der waals ( vdw ) distances of each other , favoring on - pathway
reactions .
the structure
of 6-cp complexed with bmquee revealed that the 5-carbon
of the deoxyadenosine moiety of sam is 3.2 away from one of
the carboxylate oxygen atoms and 4.9 away from the sp hybridized c-6 of 6-cp ( figure 1c ) .
this close proximity between
the substrate analogue and cofactor suggests that the enzyme may instead
catalyze a group transfer reaction in cases where an h atom is not
present . in our continuing structure / function studies of quee
,
we made a
serendipitous discovery in the structure of the bacillus subtilis quee ( bsquee ) homologue crystallized in the presence
of sam and 6-cp .
the electron density in the active site did not resemble
that of 6-cp , but rather , the substrate analogue appeared to have
undergone a modification that involved attachment to the 5-dado
of sam .
therefore , we initiated studies to determine if 6-cp is an
alternative substrate . herein , we show that 6-cp is indeed a substrate
for the quee homologues from both b. subtilis and b. multivorans . however , unlike the h
atom abstraction catalyzed with cph4 , 6-cp undergoes two
distinct catalytic outcomes .
one of these leverages the ability of
the enzyme to bind and reductively cleave sam , but instead of h atom
abstraction , a radical addition is performed . in the other , by contrast ,
quee binds sam and facilitates group transfer in the absence of dithionite
to form the 6-carboxypterin-5-deoxyadenosyl ( 6-cp dado )
ester covalent adduct observed in the crystal structure .
these findings
have implications in the functional role of uncharacterized enzymes
in the radical sam superfamily .
an initial x - ray crystal structure
of dimeric his6 tagged bsquee was determined
to 2.55 resolution by multiwavelength anomalous dispersion
( mad ) phasing , which was then used to phase a 2.4 resolution
structure of dimeric bsquee that contains a 6-cp dado
ester covalent adduct ( figure 2 , table s1 ) .
similar to the bmquee structure , the monomeric subunit of bsquee is composed of a partial ( /)6 tim barrel
fold , which is characteristic of radical sam enzymes .
the active site is located within the lateral opening of the partial
barrel ( figure 2a ) ,
and is flanked by n- and c- terminal regions , the latter of which
protects the active site from solvent .
( a ) the monomeric
subunit of dimeric bsquee is composed of a central
partial tim domain ( green ) with n - terminal ( light blue ) and c - terminal
( pink ) extensions .
the adduct and l - methionine carbons are
colored teal and purple , respectively .
the iron and sulfur atoms of
the cluster are colored orange and yellow , respectively .
( b ) simulated
annealing omit density maps for the sam radical [ 4fe4s ] cluster , l - methionine ( colored purple ) and the adduct refined as 6-cp
dado
ester ( teal ) , contoured at 3. ( c ) interactions between the
6-cp moiety of 6-cp dado ester ( teal ) and protein residues .
regions of protein colored as in ( a ) and atoms colored as described
in figure 1b .
although we crystallized bsquee with sam and 6-cp ,
the electron density was not consistent with intact versions of these
two molecules being bound in the active site .
when an intact sam was
refined , negative difference density appeared for the c5-s
bond of sam , suggesting that sam has undergone cleavage to form methionine
and 5-dado ( figure 3a ) .
additionally , positive difference density appeared between
the c5 position of sam and a carboxylate oxygen of 6-cp , indicating
that a new ester bond may have been formed between these two molecules ,
requiring a rotation of about 30 around the ribose to bring
the 5-dado moiety toward 6-cp ( figure 3b ) .
the resulting adduct can be described
as a 5-deoxyadenosyl ester of 6-cp ( 6-cp dado ester )
and is an excellent fit to omit map density ( figure 2b ) .
methionine , the other cleavage product
of sam , is also observed bound as expected for a sam radical protein ,
i.e. , coordinating the unique iron of the [ 4fe-4s ] cluster through
its -carboxyl and -amino groups ( figure 2b ) .
( a ) difference
electron density maps obtained when refining data with intact sam
( maroon ) and 6-cp ( slate ) .
positive and negative difference densities
are displayed as green and red meshes , respectively , contoured at
3. the iron
( b ) in order to form the adduct ( teal ) , the ribose ring of 5-dado
must rotate about 30 from its initial position in sam . the newly formed 6-cp dado
ester adduct spans the sam and
6-cp binding sites on bsquee with the adenine and
pterin rings residing in nearly perpendicular planes relative to one
another ( figure 2b ) .
the enzyme employs known sam binding motifs for interactions with
the 5-dado moiety of the newly formed adduct ( figure 4 ) , and despite the 30 rotation of the 5-dado about the
ribose required to form the adduct , the interactions between the ribose
and the protein are maintained ( figure 4 ) .
the planar pterin ring of the 6-cp moiety of the
adduct is also bound similarly to how 6-cp was bound in the bmquee6-cpsam structure .
it is positioned in the active site by a number of
and electrostatic interactions from residues located in the protein
core and the n- and c - terminal extensions ( figure 2c ) .
dado
ester adduct stacks with the phe28 and his233 residues from the n-
and c - terminal extensions and is further held in place by various
hydrogen bonds , including hydrogen bonds to the n3 and exocyclic amine
by the carboxyl group of the c - terminal residue , val243 . one new hydrogen
bond between the protein residue gln16 and the pterin ring , positioning
n8 of the pterin , was identified in this structure containing the
covalent adduct ( figure 2c ) .
although this glutamine residue is conserved in bmquee , it is not in the proper orientation or within sufficient distance
( 5.9 from n8 of the pterin ) to interact with 6-cp in that structure .
instead , a water molecule is observed to bridge
an interaction between this glutamine and the pterin n8 atom .
walleyed stereoview
of the binding interactions of bsquee with the 5-dado
moiety of the adduct species .
the 5-dado
moiety binds to bsquee using previously characterized
sam binding motifs ; residues of the ribose motif ( slate ) interact
with the hydroxyl groups of the ribose ring through the hydroxyl and
amino groups of ser127 and lys129 respectively , the 5 or gxixgxxe
motif ( green ) provides hydrophobic interactions to the adenine ring ,
and the 6 motif ( salmon ) provides interaction to the nitrogen
atoms of the adenine ring positioning it in the active site via hydrogen
bonds from the amide of gln188 and the backbone amide of asn191 .
two
residues from the cluster binding loop ( tan ) provide both
interactions as well as hydrogen bonds to assist in the orientation
of the adenine ring in the active site .
the mechanism by which 6-cp dado ester forms in the
active
site of quee can not be gleaned from the structures alone .
although
it has not been demonstrated that cluster reduction by the x - ray beam
can lead to the reductive cleavage of sam , it has not been ruled out
either . in this scenario ,
however , it is also possible that the
close juxtaposition of sam to 6-cp when both are bound to the enzyme
could allow for the carboxylate oxygen of 6-cp to attack the 5-position
of the deoxyadenosine , displacing methionine to form the 6-cp
whether the 6-cp dado ester observed in the crystal structure
could have arisen from a reaction related to the radical - mediated
ring contraction observed with cph4 , we set up assays with
6-cp in the presence of sam and bsquee under reducing
conditions using dithionite .
39 min when bsquee , 6-cp , and sam were present
in the reaction .
the appearance of this new product was dependent
on the presence of enzyme , 6-cp , and sam ( figure 5a ) .
the rate of formation of this species ,
measured in a separate experiment , is 0.0013 0.0002
min , which is 150-fold slower than that for formation
of cdg from cph4 .
quee catalyzes the conversion of 6-cp to a new
pterin - containing
species in the presence of dithionite and sam .
( a ) hplc chromatogram
of reactions monitored at 350 nm showing that quee can turnover 6-cp
in the presence of sam to a new product ( * ) with retention time of
39 min ( a ) .
this peak was not observed in the control
reactions where either bsquee ( b ) , sam ( c ) , or 6-cp ( d ) were omitted .
( b ) the uv visible
spectra of 6-cp and the new product eluting at ca . 15 and 39
( c ) mass spectra of product eluting at 39 min isolated
from reaction of bsquee under reducing conditions
with natural abundance 6-cp and natural abundance sam ( black ) ( a ) ; [ u c7 ] 6-cp and natural
abundance sam ( blue ) ( b ) ; natural abundance 6-cp
and [ c10-dado]-sam ( red ) ( c ) ; or [ u c7]-6-cp and [ c10-dado]-sam ( purple ) ( d ) .
the species
that is + 22 amu relative to the [ m + h ] corresponds to
[ m + na ] .
( d ) hcd fragmentation analysis of the 6-cp adduct
formed under reducing conditions with natural abundance 6-cp and natural
abundance sam ( black ) ( a ) ; [ u c7 ] 6-cp and natural abundance sam ( blue ) ( b ) ; natural abundance 6-cp and [ c10-dado]-sam
( red ) ( c ) ; or [ u c7]-6-cp and [ c10-dado]-sam ( purple ) ( d ) .
( e ) the fragmentation patterns in ( d ) allow assignment
of the new species at 39 min to 6-dap .
inspection of the uv visible - spectrum of the new product
eluting at 39 min revealed features at 350 nm reminiscent of 6-cp ,
as well as a substantial peak at 260 nm ( figure 5b ) .
the simplest explanation for this observation
is the presence of adenine originating from sam , since the formation
of this product is sam dependent ( figure 5ac ) .
therefore , we examined if the new product
represents a covalent adduct between 5-dado and 6-cp by mass
spectrometry .
the theoretical m / z of such a product is expected to be 457.1333 ( [ m + h ] ) .
however , the mass spectrum of the new peak eluting at 39 min exhibits
a m / z of 413.1424 , which is 43.9909
amu lighter than a simple adduct between 6-cp and 5-dado ( figure 5ca ) . the loss of
co2 ( 43.9898 amu ) from a 5-dado-6-cp covalent adduct
would yield a m / z of 413.1435 , which
is within 2.7 ppm of the observed mass .
the identity of the
new product was explored using isotopically
enriched sam and 6-cp .
sam was synthesized enzymatically from unlabeled
methionine and [ u c10 ] atp to label
the 10 carbons in 5-dado moiety of sam .
[ u c7 ] 6-cp was synthesized by permanganate oxidation of
[ u c7 ] cph4 , which itself
was obtained by the successive actions of gtp cyclohydrolase i and
cph4 synthase on [ u c10 ]
gtp .
mass spectrometry revealed the [ c10 ]
sam and [ u c7 ] 6-cp to be > 87% and
> 95%
isotopically enriched sam and 6-cp analogues were incubated
with
quee and the mass spectra of the resulting products were compared
to reactions containing natural abundance 6-cp and natural abundance
sam ( figure 5c ) . when
6-cp is substituted with [ u c7 ] 6-cp ,
the m / z for the resulting product
shifts from 413.1424 to 419.1625 , consistent with the retention of
six of the seven possible c enriched carbons from 6-cp
( theoretical m / z 419.1636 , 2.6 ppm
error ) ( figure 5cb ) .
by contrast , with [ c10-dado ] sam the m / z shifts from 413.1424 to 423.1760 ( figure 5cc ) . the observed
10 amu shift ( theoretical m / z 423.1770 ,
2.4 ppm error )
this finding is consistent with the increase at
260 nm for the product ( figure 5b ) .
when both [ c10]-sam and [ u c7]-6-cp are incubated with quee , the mass shifts
by 16 amu from m / z 413.1424 to 429.1952
( theoretical m / z of 429.1971 , 4.4
ppm error ) indicating that the new species was derived from both 6-cp
( minus one carbon ) and the 5-dado moiety
of sam ( figure 5cd ) .
mass spectral fragmentation of the products from the reaction mixtures
with natural abundance and isotopically enriched substrates were carried
out to further probe the structure of the adduct .
three fragments
are observed by ms / ms of the product ( [ m + h]m / z of 413.1424 ) in reactions containing
natural abundance sam and 6-cp , which are consistent with adenine
( m / z : observed , 136.0616 ; theoretical ,
136.0623 ) , dehydrated decarboxylated pterin - ribose ( m / z : observed , 260.0776 ; theoretical , 260.0784 ) ,
and decarboxylated pterin - ribose ( m / z : observed , 278.0881 ; theoretical , 278.0890 ) ( see figure 5da and 5e ) . ms / ms analysis of the corresponding [ m + h ] peaks
in reactions containing isotopically enriched substrates exhibited
the expected isotopic shifts and were readily assigned to the fragments
observed with the natural abundance substrate , with exception of expected
isotopic enrichment due to incorporation of c from 6-cp
( figure 5db ) , sam ( figure 5dc ) , or both ( figure 5dd ) .
the fragmentation
patterns observed with the isotopically enriched product are readily
mapped onto that obtained with the natural abundance product .
these
data are consistent with the new product being 6-deoxyadenosylpterin
( 6-dap ) ( figure 5e ) .
however , this product is not consistent with the adduct observed in
the structure of bsquee solved in the presence of
sam and 6-cp .
formation of 6-dap requires incubating bsquee , sam , and 6-cp in the presence of dithionite . as
a control , to determine if the product with m / z of 413.1424 was dependent on the presence of reductant , bsquee was incubated with 6-cp in the absence of dithionite .
42 min in
the chromatogram of the reaction where only dithionite was omitted
( figure 6b ) , which
is distinct from the peak at 39 min observed in the presence of dithionite
( figure 6d ) . as with
the species at 39 min ,
the appearance of the 42 min species requires
the presence of bsquee ( figure 6a and 6c ) .
the formation
of this new species requires bsquee , sam , and 6-cp
( figure 7aa ) , and it
is not observed when any of these components are omitted ( figure 7ac e ) . as
with the 6-dap product , this new product exhibits uv
visible
spectral features consistent with both 6-cp and adenine , but its retention
time of 42 min is significantly different suggesting that it is not
6-dap ( figure 7b ) .
the rate of formation of this product ( 5.6 0.9 10 min ) is 23- and 3600-fold slower
than formation of 6-dap and cdg , respectively .
although the strong
reductant dithionite was omitted from these reactions , they were carried
out under reducing conditions in the presence of 10 mm dtt in an anaerobic
chamber .
control experiments , however , show that the new product at
42 min is observed even in the absence of dtt ( figure 7ab ) .
hplc chromatogram of bsquee
reactions containing
sam and 6-cp monitored at 350 nm . in the absence of dithionite
, a
new peak was observed that elutes at 42 min ( b ) instead
of the peak that elutes at 39 min ( d ) that was observed
in the presence of dithionite .
both the 39 and 42 min peaks require bsquee ( c and a , respectively ) .
( a ) hplc chromatogram monitored at 350 nm of reactions
showing that bsquee can turnover 6-cp in the presence
of sam to a new product denoted by * ( a ) .
to rule
out that dtt , which was present in the reaction was not responsible ,
the reactions were repeated in the absence of dtt and the same result
was obtained ( b ) . however ,
this species was not observed
in the control reactions where either bsquee ( c ) , sam ( d ) , or 6-cp ( e ) were omitted .
( b ) the uv visible spectra of 6-cp and the
new product , eluting at 15 and 42 min , respectively , show that the
new species has spectral features of 6-cp and an additional feature
260 nm .
42 min )
isolated from reactions of bsquee in the absence
of dithionite with natural abundance 6-cp and natural abundance sam
( black ) ( a ) ; [ u c7]-6-cp and natural abundance sam ( blue ) ( b ) ; natural
abundance 6-cp and [ c10-dado]-sam ( red ) ( c ) ; or [ u c7]-6-cp and [ c10-dado]-sam ( purple ) ( d ) .
the
species at + 22 amu relative to the [ m + h ] corresponds
to [ m + na ] .
( d ) cid fragmentation analysis of the new
reaction product obtained with natural abundance 6-cp and natural
abundance sam ( black ) ( a ) ; [ u c7 ] 6-cp and natural abundance sam ( blue ) ( b ) ; natural abundance 6-cp and [ c10-dado]-sam
( red ) ( c ) ; or [ u c7]-6-cp and [ c10-dado]-sam ( purple ) ( d ) .
( e ) the fragmentation patterns in ( d ) allow assignment
of the new species at 42 min to 6-cp dado ester .
42 min exhibits a m / z of 457.1320 ( [ m + h ] ) ( figure 7ca ) .
this new product is most
consistent with the 6-cp dado ester adduct ( theoretical m / z = 457.1333 ) observed in the crystal
structure .
the identity of the product was further probed with natural
abundance and c enriched sam and 6-cp .
in contrast to
6-dap , when the reactions were carried out in the absence of dithionite
with [ u c7 ] 6-cp the mass of the 42
min peak shifts from 457.1320 to 464.1560 ( theoretical m / z 464.1567 , 1.5 ppm error ) ( figure 7cb ) , which is consistent with retention of
all the carbons of 6-cp .
replacing natural abundance sam with [ c10-dado ] sam results in a 10 amu shift in the m / z for [ m + h ] from 457.1320
to 467.1654 ( theoretical m / z 467.1668 ,
3.0 ppm error ) ( figure 7cc ) . finally , when both isotopically enriched substrates are incubated
with bsquee the [ m + h ] mass shifts by
17 amu from m / z 457.1320 to 474.1906
( theoretical m / z 474.1902 , 0.8 ppm
error ) ( figure 7cd ) . to probe the structure of the new product , the [ m + h ] peak from each reaction mixture
the fragmentation spectrum obtained from the natural abundance product
is shown in figure 7da .
the observed fragments are consistent with adenine ( m / z : observed , 136.0614 ; theoretical , 136.0623 ) ,
6-cp ( m / z : observed , 208.0461 ; theoretical ,
208.0471 ) , dehydrated 6-cp - ribose ( m / z : observed , 304.0669 ; theoretical , 304.0682 ) , 6-cp - ribose ( m / z : observed , 322.0774 ; theoretical , 322.0788 ) ,
6-cp - deoxyadenosine that has lost the equivalent of two water molecules
( m / z : observed , 421.1106 ; theoretical ,
421.1122 ) , and dehydrated 6-cp - deoxyadenosine ( m / z : observed , 439.1211 ; theoretical , 439.1227 ) ( figure 7da and 7e )
. ms / ms spectra of the corresponding [ m + h ] peaks in reactions containing isotopically enriched substrates exhibit
the expected isotopic shifts and are readily assigned to the fragments
observed with the natural abundance substrate , with exception of expected
isotopic enrichment due to incorporation of c from 6-cp
( figure 7db ) , sam ( figure 7dc ) , or both ( figure 7dd ) .
the fragmentation
patterns observed with the isotopically enriched product are readily
mapped onto that obtained with the natural abundance product , further
confirming the structural assignment of 6-cp dado ester ( figure 7e ) .
therefore , the
product observed in the aforementioned bsquee crystal
structure forms in the absence of reductant by taking advantage of
the inherent reactivity of sam toward nucleophilic attack .
previous structural
and functional investigations of bsquee and bmquee revealed an unexpected requirement
for mg in the conversion of cph4 to cdg .
structures
of bmquee complexed with substrate ( cph4 ) and product ( cdg ) show that the mg provides key contacts
with the substrate and product , thus anchoring the molecules in the
active site .
interestingly , mgis not observed in the bsquee structure of the 6-cp dado ester adduct described
above and the bmquee complexed with 6-cp .
therefore , we sought to determine if the divalent
cation was required for the formation of either 6-dap or 6-cp dado
ester .
we observed no significant change in the rates of formation
for 6-dap or 6-cp - dado ester when mg was omitted from
the reaction or when it was added to a final concentration of 2 mm .
however , it is possible that mg was present in the reaction
mixture as a contaminant from the purified protein , sam , or 6-cp .
therefore , we subjected an aliquot of each reaction mixture to icp - ms
to analyze for the presence of mg .
the concentration
of mg in each reaction mixture was not detectable above
the 1 m background in the trace - metals grade nitric
acid used to prepare the sample .
this shows that unlike the wild - type
function of quee , the formation of either 6cp product is not
enhanced by the presence of mg .
the structural investigation
of b. multivorans quee revealed that this homologue
was capable of binding 6-cp in the active site in a similar fashion
to that of the b. subtilis quee .
therefore , we sought to determine if
6-cp was an alternative substrate for the quee homologue from b. multivorans to determine if the divergent outcomes
of turnover with 6-cp in the presence or absence of reductant is an
intrinsic property of the enzyme and not specific to the b. subtilis protein .
indeed , when bmquee was incubated with
6-cp in the presence of reductant , a new product was observed in the
extracted ion chromatogram ( figure 8a ) . based on both the retention time ( ca .
37 min ) and
ms data ( m / z of 413.1425 ) the species
is 6-dap ( figure 8b ) .
b. multivorans quee catalyzes the formation
of 6-dap and 6-cp dado ester in the presence or absence of
reductant , respectively .
( a ) lc ms extracted ion chromatograms
monitoring at m / z 412.5413.5
of reactions containing natural abundance 6-cp and natural abundance
sam incubated with ( a ) or without ( b ) bmquee in the presence of reductant .
37 min isolated from reaction of bmquee under reducing conditions with natural abundance
6-cp and natural abundance sam .
ms extracted ion chromatograms
monitoring at m / z 456.5457.5
of reactions containing natural abundance 6-cp and natural abundance
sam incubated with ( a ) or without ( b ) bmquee in the absence of reductant .
42 min isolated from reaction of bmquee with natural abundance 6-cp and natural abundance
sam in the absence of reductant . in parallel to the bsquee , in the absence
of reductant ,
we observe a peak in the extracted ion chromatogram of the reaction
at 42 min ( figure 8ca ) , which requires the enzyme ( figure 8cb ) .
the m / z of the species eluting at 42 min , 457.1322 , is identical to 6-cp - dado
ester ( figure 8d ) .
therefore , both bsquee and bmquee
catalyze identical polar and radical mediated transformations utilizing
6-cp as an alternate substrate .
since
the unification of the radical sam superfamily in 2001 , the
number of members has expanded from 600 to > 113 000 .
all members of the radical sam superfamily characterized to date
have been shown to utilize a [ 4fe-4s ] cluster , which is typically
coordinated by the cxxxcxxc motif , to mediate the reductive cleavage
of sam commonly affording the dado ( figure 1a ) .
the dado abstracts a h atom from
substrate to initiate a myriad of radical - mediated transformations .
while under some conditions , alternate
reactivity with substrate
analogues have been noted leading to novel products , to date , with two notable exceptions , sam participates by radical
mechanism .
two members of the superfamily ( rlmn and cfr ) are unique
in that they utilized sam for both polar and radical
transformations .
the homologous enzymes rlmn and
cfr catalyze the methylation of c-2 or c-8 of the adenine ring of
a2503 in 23s rrna . similarly , tsrm catalyzes the methylation
of tryptophan in an as yet undetermined mechanism that does not appear
to entail reductive cleavage of sam .
the structure of rlmn
reveals that as with other radical sam enzymes it adopts the partial
tim barrel ( /)6 fold and the three cysteine
thiolates of the cxxxcxxc motif coordinate three iron atoms of a catalytically
essential [ 4fe-4s ] cluster .
the fourth
iron of the cluster is coordinated by the -amino and -carboxylate
moieties of sam .
functionally , both rlmn and cfr reductively cleave
sam , as expected for a radical sam superfamily . however , what sets
these two enzymes apart from the rest of the superfamily is that they
catalyze methyl transfer from sam coordinated to the [ 4fe-4s ] cluster
to an active site cys residue using a polar substitution mechanism ,
in addition to reductively cleaving a second equivalent of sam at
the [ 4fe-4s ] cluster to mediate the methyl transfer from the methyl - cys
to the a2503 .
rlmn and cfr are examples
of radical sam enzymes that use sam in both a polar and radical capacity
in the same catalytic cycle .
the involvement of sam in polar
group transfer is a common reaction
that occurs in a variety of biological processes including gene regulation
and metabolite biosynthesis .
however , enzymes that utilize sam exclusively
as a methyl donor are structurally distinct from the radical sam superfamily ,
adopting an -sandwich fold that is reminiscent
of the rossmann fold .
the physiological
role of quee is to harness dado from reductively
cleaved sam to catalyze the radical mediated ring rearrangement in
the conversion of cph4 to cdg .
structures of bmquee show that the
enzyme is able to bind an oxidized analogue of the substrate , 6-cp ,
in a manner similar to that of the substrate ( cph4 ) and
product ( cdg ) ( figure s1 ) .
we initiated the biochemical studies in this paper when
we observed an unusual product , 6-cp dado ester , in the x - ray
crystal structure of bsquee6-cpsam complex .
we are able to produce the 6-cp dado ester in vitro when quee
is incubated with 6-cp and sam in the absence of dithionite . under
reducing conditions , an alternate product , 6-dap
this product is analogous to that observed for the
radical sam enzymes , mqne , in the futalosine biosynthetic pathway ,
and hyde , in the assembly of the [ fefe]-hydrogenase active site .
additionally , knappe and co - workers observed that pyruvate formate - lyase - activating
enzymes catalyzed a similar addition of dado to the olefinic
carbon of a dehydroalanine residue in a dehydroalanine - containing
octapeptide . in the presence of
the strong reductant dithionite , quee generates
the dado , which subsequently reacts with 6-cp via a radical
addition reaction leading to the decarboxylation of 6-cp and the formation
of 6-dap ( scheme 1 ,
right ) .
although 6-cp is not the natural substrate , this reaction
is not surprising as the current understanding of radical sam enzymes
is that they generate radical intermediates and stabilize them by
providing scaffolds that minimize off - pathway reactions .
one mechanism to favor on - pathway reactions is to properly orient
the substrate within vdw distances of the dado. 6-cp was modified by sam in
the absence of reductant , but instead
of a radical addition , we observed formation of an ester linkage between
6-cp and the 5-deoxyadenosine moiety of sam .
to explain this ,
we propose a polar substitution mechanism ( scheme 1 , left ) analogous to that observed in methyltransferases
and the radical sam enzymes rlmn and cfr .
close
inspection of the bmquee structure with 6-cp bound
shows that one of the carboxylate oxygen atoms is only 3.2
from the c5 of sam , where it could participate in nucleophilic
substitution ( figure 1c ) .
the bsquee structure further shows that a carboxylate
oxygen is within 2.9 of r30 , a conserved residue capable of
stabilizing the deprotonated form of the 6-cp carboxylate and potentially
activating it for nucleophilic attack on c5 of sam ( figure 2c ) .
the resulting
adduct characterized in this study provides evidence of now a third
radical sam enzyme that is capable of using sam coordinated to a [ 4fe-4s ]
cluster for polar group transfer .
however , what sets this apart from
rlmn and cfr is the fact that 6-cp is not a natural substrate for
quee , therefore the formation of 6-cp dado ester and 6-dap
are promiscuous activities for this radical sam enzyme . unlike the
radical mediated ring contraction reaction of cph4 to form
cdg , the polar and radical additions of 5-dado to 6-cp
this finding may suggest that magnesium
is involved in minimizing off - pathway reactivity with the substrate .
certainly , the binding of the carboxylate of cph4 to the
magnesium may block formation of the ester adduct .
additional studies
with alternate substrate analogues should aid in delineating the role(s )
of the active site residues and the magnesium ion in directing the
promiscuous activities of quee .
the current work in the radical
sam superfamily has provided overwhelming
evidence that these enzymes use the sam bound [ 4fe-4s ] cluster to
reductively cleave sam to initiate radical - mediated reactions . however , the recent observations of rlmn , cfr ,
and now quee utilizing the same fold to catalyze polar group transfer
from sam questions the paradigm that all proteins
containing the cxxxcxxc motif reductively cleave sam .
the sulfonium of sam activates it to transfer 5-dado , methyl ,
or 3-amino-3-carboxypropyl moieties to any properly positioned acceptor
molecule by nucleophilic displacement .
booker and colleagues have
provided a beautiful example of polar methyl group transfer by a cluster - bound
sam .
the studies
presented here are the first to demonstrate the polar transfer of
5-dado .
our prediction is that as more presumed radical sam
enzymes are studied , that additional polar group transfer from sam
will be discovered .
the original report by
sofia and co - workers nearly 20 years ago
where the radical sam superfamily was identified by the presence of
the cxxxcxxc motif occurred before the explosion of genome sequences .
moreover , in the intervening decades , studies
from several laboratories have uncovered a surprising range of reactivity .
the studies on polar methyl group transfer in
rlmn and cfr , the methylation catalyzed by tsrm , and this manuscript show that , at least in principle , moieties attached
to the sulfonium of sam can be transferred by a polar route in radical
sam enzymes . to be sure
, the formation of 6-cp dado ester is
a promiscuous activity in a protein that is designed to do an entirely
different type of transformation .
however , it is now generally accepted
that new activities emerge in enzymes by optimization of low - level
reactions .
we propose that with > 113 000 annotated radical
sam enzymes that it is only a matter of time before additional enzymes
whose sole function is not methyl group transfer or radical chemistry
will emerge . | pubmed |
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