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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boy looking for girl advice! - (student)
POST: Hey, so Im a boy and recently met a girl over easter while at a camp thing. We shifted a few times but didnt talk much unless we were out or on the last day.. mostly because I was too shy. Got some mixed signals but texting now and pretty sure she likes me but cant really ready her interest level. Only a few weeks left of college before we break for summer, what do I do! She lives about 3 hours from me, but only 10 minutes away when at college. assignments due and then Exam time after that so busy enough timetable.
Advice?
TL;DR: | Im 19 (male) and shes the same (female). Could meet over summer but wouldnt be often due to distance and work. No prior history of friendship but the interest is there and both very outspoken.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex-gf F[21] broke up with me M[20] after nearly 3 years due to less attention
POST: My ex girlfriend broke up with me after a near 3 year relationship dating back to high school. She broke up with me because I wasn't giving her enough attention and she also complained about our relationship having too much routine and losing the connection. Well, I want her back but I'm currently in the process of using the No Contact method to fix myself emotionally and perhaps get her back at the same time. She broke up with me back in February but I didn't decide to use the No-Contact method until recently. It's been 3 weeks today since I started No-Contact and I'm going strong.
My question is: Whenever I finally decide to contact her, how should I go about doing it? And when I do, what do I say if she asks me why I wasn't talking to her for that period of no contact?
TL;DR: | Seeking help on how to end the No Contact method correctly. What should I do and is there any other advice I could use? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need help with myself.
POST: I am 20[M] and have never been in a serious relationship. I used to just have little flings as a teenager and never get attached, but the reason for that was never clear. Now, I have a wonderful girlfriend who I have been with for going on half a year, and I care deeply about her. To describe our relationship, I'm self-conscious about myself, especially now that I'm with her. She's easily the most beautiful girl I have ever been with in any way, and I feel like a pile of shit next to her. Now I'm not fat, in fact I'm a wrestling coach so my appearance isn't really a LARGE factor. Now she dressed rather nice, but leaves little to the imagination, as in showing her stomach, lots of leg, but only around me. I know she cares for me greatly, but I feel really nervous and I get scared when she goes out and possibly might wear something like that without me being there. I feel like I am in no way thinking in a rational way, but I can't get over the fear of losing her, especially to someone that I may think is a better match for her physically. Can someone please help me see the proper way of thinking? And to add, I feel like a take care of her really well, I take her food at work constantly, pick her up from work, and I cater to her, both emotionally and physically. Please help someone. And to add she is 19.
TL;DR: | I am self-conscious and get nervous when my girlfriend goes out and may possibly wear clothing that I would prefer her to wear around me. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is some kinds of cheating worse than others? My[21/f] boyfriend[24/m] asked another girl out on a date and told her that things weren't great with me.
POST: I have been dating this guy [24/m] for about 6 months but had been seeing him for a bit before that. He had always been super serious in the relationship from the beginning even though I had to deal with some personal doubts before I would begin the relationship. But after I began the relationship, I was in it for the long haul because generally he was good to me and we got along well.
At the beginning of May he asked a girl out on a date.
He had always called her his friend and she was taking courses with him so they had previously been around each other a lot. I am not the jealous type so never thought anything of it. In her response, she politely declined because she had just started seeing someone but also asked if he already had a Gf. He replied yes, but things were not going well. I only found out about all of this at the end of the month via a pop-up imessage on his macbook from his phone.
I'm really looking for advice on how seriously I should be taking all of this. He and I are currently on a break after I confronted him about it. All he can say is he was drinking and feeling bad about the relationship. He says he doesn't have feelings for her, but how am i supposed to believe that? He has cried over it and assures me he has no more doubts. He technically did not do anything physically with another woman, but it really broke my trust with him. Am I taking it too seriously?
TL;DR: | My Bf asked out another girl while we were dating? He's very apologetic and wants us to stay together. Is it a sign of future badness or should I give him another chance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Stupid friend...
POST: So my friend went out and got herself a german shepherd pit bull mix puppy on a whim. Didn't prepare at all and barely has enough money to support herself. Ridiculous. She's refusing to put the dog through puppy classes because she thinks she can teach him herself. I told her those classes are more than just about teaching your dog to sit and walk on a leash... It's about socialization. You can't teach that at home... Anyways I guess my question here is, how do I tell her she's being really stupid without hurting her feelings? I want to make sure the puppy gets proper training and socialization so it doesn't cause problems further down the road... otherwise I might be adopting him later.
Little backstory...
She is a huge partier and gets drunk quite frequently. She named her dog Captain for crying out loud.
Sorry I'm sort of ranting... Any help?
TL;DR: | Friend got a puppy and didnt prepare and isnt going to take it to puppy classes. How do I tell her shes being dumb? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by fapping into my gf's panties
POST: So this was a while ago.. But i thought why shouldn't i tell you guys about how i fucked up....
So we were together for like 5 months but since it's the first time to be in a relationship for both of us we took it real slow...
She slept at my place for a couple of times and we played with each other... but i always forgot to get condoms so THAT never happened...
We argued a lot..... like we fought daily... and i mean yelling for like 10-15 minutes... Then we usually sat down and talked about it
So this morning was like usual... we started arguing because i was horny and she told me to just jack off or something... That week i couldn't even get to touch her or anything so i just wanted to feel her... in some weird way which my horny mind made me do...
She left one of her panties on the bed...
So after she just ran away from my place i thought well... she told me to jack off... i'm gonna do it then...
So i did it... then she came back...
Yelling at me that how hard is it with me and that she can't deal with my anymore...
She went over the whole house to look for her stuff, pack it and leave... Then she found the panty which i just... you know...
Well... it was embarassing....
TL;DR: | i jacked into my (ex?)gf's panty just 5 minutes before she broke up with me and found it... freshly.. covered... |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Weird lady in my neighborhood..I need help.
POST: Quick backstory here: I live with 4 other dudes in a house in an older neighborhood in a decent suburb. Not shady, but a bit dodgy at night. Anyways, Last thursday, we were drinking pretty heavily. After we all passed out, one of my roommates decided he wanted to walk about 2 miles to the college campus nearby for whatever reason. He walks about 1/4 of the way there and turned around. On his way back he saw some chick walking the opposite way and being the nice drunk that he is, he asked where she was going ect. He said she was walking to her husbands house or something and was 4 months pregnant and looked fucked up. She begged him for a ride there and even though he was drunk, he did.
Here's where the problem is. She has been knocking on our door everyday since last thursday asking if he is home and can give her a ride, take her to the grocery store, have some food, and has been sitting in our yard playing with my other roommates cat. She comes at all hours of the day and it's getting ridiculous. How can we tell her to essentially 'fuck off' and leave us alone without causing a huge ordeal?
TL;DR: | One of my roommates gave a weird pregnant lady a ride last week in the middle of the night while he was drunk and now she wont leave us alone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my girlfiend [23 F] of 7 months, I make a lot more than she does and we're working long distance. Flights get expensive but she wants to help pitch in. Is it weird for her to owe me money if I get the flights?
POST: GF and I have been dating long distance for about 7 months. Everything is going as well as long distance can, and we see each other about every 3 weeks. Clearly this gets expensive since we mostly fly to each other. I have no problem picking up most of the cost of things, but she insisted on wanting to also pay for some of them.
Unfortunately, doing so leaves her often strapped for cash, which I don't want to see, since me paying isn't a huge problem. I appreciate her willingness to offer some money, but don't want her to be in a dire situation when I'm not in town. So she suggested I pay for some things up front and then she'll pay me back monthly.
I told her I felt uncomfortable about this really just because it feels weird to have her owe me money and for me to ever remind her to pay me back (neither a borrower nor a lender be......) It also feels weird because we are moving in together in June and by then it will mostly be shared finances. Weird may be a bad choice of words--it's just more strange to me. She got upset and it made her feel uncomfortable when I said I was uncomfortable because it reminded her of how much she makes. I keep saying let's just drop it because I can completely afford everything, but I also like that she is wanting to help out and I respect that, so I was going to allow her to pay some.
Just wanted a third-party's perspective on the issue.
TL;DR: | GF makes a lot less than I do. Wondering about how we manage finances together when she wants to pitch in and it can feel weird to have your GF owe you money on some kind of payment plan... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Whenever I (20F) look at my boyfriend (20M) I think of household chores. It's affecting my sex drive, help?
POST: Boyfriend and I have been together 2 years, we moved in together a few weeks ago. This is a very recent thing that's been happening, so it may not be a big deal, but I thought I'd see if I can nip it in the bud.
For most of our relationship, I've had the higher sex drive. In fact, I've cried, posted on dead bedrooms, and had countless conversations about our lack of an intimate life. Eventually we were able to talk things out and improve our relationship.
When we moved in together his sex drive rebounded. I was thrilled initially. But now whenever I look at him and he's in a 'playful' mood, I think of chores. Like "oh, do I have bread to make him lunch?" or "did I finish my homework?" or something like that. It's not that I don't find him attractive, I definitely do. But I've gotten pretty into domestic life, cooking meals every day and stuff. I don't feel like a cute 20-something, I feel like a wife. Is this normal? Will this feeling pass?
My boyfriend hasn't gotten upset when I refuse now and then, but I'm afraid of this feeling getting worse. Thoughts, reddit?
TL;DR: | Recently moved in with formerly LL boyfriend, now he has more of a sex drive but I think more about domestic duties than being intimate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] don't know how to approach current situation with [22 M]. Possibly lead me on?
POST: There is a guy I have been seeing for just a few months now.
We've went out dates, hung out with friends and alone, he's introduced me to his friends, talk on a daily basis, and we have slept together. From the way things were going, I saw it progressing towards a relationship.
However, we have a few close mutual friends and one told me that he doesn't want a girlfriend and it was never his intention to pursue a relationship. He says we are just friends.
Last night he invited me out with just his friends and I went. But he may have talked to me for a total of 10 minutes the whole night. Luckily, some of my friends showed up. We went to a bar later that night where he rode with another girl there and my friends were mad about it and think he was acting like an asshole all night to me.
I discreetly tried to talk to him this morning asking if we are just friends and where we stand and that I didn't want to get any wrong ideas but he totally beat around the bush and didn't answer.
I don't think he's worth my time anymore and I don't want get too attached to him. I don't know how exactly to go about the situation and tell him that it I don't see a point in seeing each other anymore. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Seeing a guy. Thought it was progressing towards relationship. Says were just friends and doesn't want a girlfriend. Don't know how to go about it and tell him that I don't think we should see each other anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Split File on Credit Report. What do?/Rant.
POST: So I am 22 and have had a credit card for two years now, I have used it regularly and never missed a payment, and I have a job that pays me in official legal tender. So I think to myself I must have a sweet credit score, check equifax BOOM! 700.
Fast forward to me the next day: I stroll up to a banker say I want my credit line increased and my rate lowered because I have freakin awesome credit. They check my experian and I have a 627. My dad and I are named Platypus S. Christ and Platypus T. Christ respectively. SO my dad forgot to pay a bill for an emergency room visit he had, like 180 dollars. The collection agency reported it as my dad's problem to tansunion and equifax. They reported it as my debt for experian.
Long story short this is B.S. I want to fix it. Called Experian and the collection guys. Experian said they would get right on it. The collection guys say I have to send a ton of info e.g. drivers liscense ss card copy of credit report, to fix their fuck up.
I may be missing something here but I tink that they could probably just look at the reports they filed and see that it is two differnet people. Why do they need me to furnish information,isn't it their job to verify that it is my debt?
TL;DR: | I have good credit, maybe, but these guys are sort of fucking me and want me to do the leg work to fix their mistake; I am bitter. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my boyfriend [18 M] of 6 months, feeling weird about a female friend sleeping over
POST: I don't know if I'm over reacting, but yesterday my boyfriend casually asked if I minded if his friend (a girl his age) stayed over a couple of nights. His parents are away for a month next month, and we had planned that I would be there most nights.
I said, I guessed I didn't mind, but he could see I was a bit uncomfortable with the idea and said he would say no if I wanted him to. I said, oh no, I don't really mind, and we talked about me meeting her ect.
But since then I can't stop feeling weird and stressed about it.
He met this girl on tinder a few months before he and I got together, but they never hooked up. They've never met in real life even though she's only an hour away. She has a boyfriend, but complains about him to my boyfriend all the time.
I trust my boyfriend not to deliberately try and cheat, but I don't trust her, and if they hang out, get drunk, sleep in the same house, I could see something happening.
This girl was talking the other night about how her boyfriend chats to other girls online and she gets jealous, but then she thinks it's ok to stay with someone else's boyfriend (a guy she only knows from chatting online) for two nights in his house?
It makes me feel really really uncomfortable.
TL;DR: | I just feel like it's not really appropriate for them to spend three days and two nights together, am I wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my BF [31 M] of 3 years, how to break up?
POST: Throw away because I know he reddits. I'll try to keep this short and sweet.
I've been dating Nate for three years, and they have been pretty good. We met when I was in a really bad place in my life and he helped get me through it, and while helping me we began a relationship. I had a few relationships and one-night stands before Nate, but not many. On the other hand, I have been Nates first for everything.
I have known for a while now that I wanted to break up with him. But, I don't know how to do it. We are on the same lease, we work for the same organization (he actually helped me get a job here, which I am slowly starting to resent him for). So when I break up with him, I'll still have to see him.
Now for the reason, and why I need help: I want to see what is out there! The few relationships I have had were very toxic or meaningless. I feel like I will miss out on so much if I settle down with Nate. But I don't know what to tell him! I know if I tell him the reason it will crush him.
I don't think he suspects I am unhappy either. I haven't mentioned it to him, because there isn't anything he can do about it. I try to convince myself to be happy and stay with him because of the support he has given me, but that just makes me more resentful of him.
If I do break up with him, there may be a chance we can get back together too, but I don't know if I should tell him that because I don't know how he would react to that.
So how do you break up with somebody who hasn't done anything wrong with out crushing them?
TL;DR: | want to break up with bf of 3 years to see what else is out there, but I want to do it without crushing him emotionally and staying on relatively good terms. Is that possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [22F] 5'5, 167lbs and Confused for Being Pregnant.
POST: Hey LoseIt,
I recently committed to purchasing a gym pass after a traumatic experience of being confused for being pregnant. As the title says, I'm 5'5 and currently at 167lbs. Now here's a bit of a dilemma:
Although I'm technically overweight, I'm actually pretty muscular naturally as well. I have thick muscled legs and biceps with it's fair share of fat but a big fatty stomach and love handles that surpass my tiny hips. I've always been a little big larger than other kids and am often receiving shocked expressions when I reveal my weight since I'm normally good at hiding my tummy.
After a guest at my hotel kindly yelled out "OOOH GIRL I KNOW THAT WALK. HOW FAR ALONG ARE YOU?", I figured it's really time to get into shape. Problem is I'm not quite sure where to start and what to eat provided my body type. I never really worked out steadily and living the full time desk jockey life.
I want to assume cardio will help me lose the fat and something along the lines of Keto would be the perfect diet for me, but I would love some second opinions, pleaaaase!
TL;DR: | 22, 5'5, 167lbs, confused for being pregnant, signed up for gym membership, need help starting off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: The symptoms of identity theft?
POST: Hi reddit.
This happened almost a year ago and I'm just worrying. My first sign was getting a call from a clothing company to update my credit card info so they could process an order. The order was under my name and address and phone number except for the email address. It also wasn't my credit card.
The second instance was when I got a ups scheduled delivery update. Saying I'm getting a package from Northern Tools. Package eventually came and I called them up to ask who made the order and it was all under my name. I wasn't charged because it wasn't my credit card and the email was different from the first instance.
After that , I pulled my credit report and checked everything. Put a lock on my credit and haven't been bothered since .
Anyone heard of anything like this? We're they shipping stuff in my name to try and steal my identity? Neighbor trying to steal a package? I'm at a loss to why they wouldn't use my credit card but only my information and sending the product to my house..
TL;DR: | someone used my info to buy stuff online and had it shipped to my address but didn't use my credit card. Should I be worried? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [FAMILY ISSUES] Me [25 M] with my mom[00 M/F] I hate visiting my family for no reason.
POST: The worst thing that ever happened during my childhood was my parents divorce when I was 10.
Childhood:
PROS:
*my dad paid off the house so my mom didn't have to pay a mortgage. Hard enough for mom to get back into working, etc.
*Mom worked her ass off for me and my two sisters.
*I basically got away with murder as a kid and teenager, took it for granted of course.
*Dad payed for school in full for all of us.
CONS:
*I was a rebellious teenager because my mom didn't have time for us after the divorce, i don't blame her for it though. She was doing what she had to.
*Herself and my sisters came first, always. I don't hold a grudge, but it keeps me from caring a lot of times.
*She believes that we had some form of great relationship while i grew up and it annoys the hell out of me.
Now I view seeing my mother as a chore. Her being involved in seeing other people like my sisters, makes me not want to see them either.
Im enjoying my life and i am happy. I am succeeding at work, getting fit, eating well, and living where I want. I get depressed when she asks me to come for her birthday and that my sister wonders why i dont talk to her.. when we never really talked.. i feel its all fake..
TL;DR: | Mom was a good mom, however me always coming last in every sense made me rebellious and not appreciate her. any sort of relationship we had was minimal and all the affection she spews now is fake and makes me sick. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: On dealing with the effects of infidelity.
POST: My girlfriend and I, both of us are 20, have been together for nearly three years. We started dating before senior year of high school, moved away to college together with some friends, and had a generally smooth relationship up until January. We went through a little bit of trouble, which became extremely exaggerated when my best friend, and one who moved to the college town with us, confessed to her that he's loved her throughout our relationship. She reciprocated the sentiments and I was at a low point of my life, ashamed for sneakily looking at Facebook messages, and especially seeing the two people closest to me conspiring to leave me to be together. Calling her phone repeatedly, without answer, while I knew that they were together at her apartment that night was awful.
We argued a lot and eventually decided to work it out. She never touched him or anything like that. They had one face-to-face conversation, and it involved her telling him that she really wanted to be with me. I understand that stress makes people do stupid things, and I have been trying to forgive her.
Last night, she went to a party. I don't suspect her of cheating on me at all, as I do mostly trust her. But she has a habit of not paying attention to her phone. That bothers me. I've told her that I would appreciate a text back every once in a while when she's out, and a lot of that is just me being worried about her at a party. She got mad at me for not trusting her, and doesn't seem like she wants to deal with the consequences of what happened in January. Plus, she's telling me that it was a long time ago, and it shouldn't really be an issue anymore.
I don't **completely** trust her. I've been hoping that it would come back over the last few months, and it mostly has, but there's still a void. For the past few weeks, the relationship has been great again. But, reasonably in my opinion, the love triangle thing fucked with me and the effects are still present. I don't know what the best course of action is. I love her. She loves me. But I don't completely trust her, and she seems like she's running out of patience.
Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Best friend got in the middle of relationship, and trust is still an issue with the girlfriend. She's growing impatient and doesn't want to face the effects of what happened. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [17/F] have been Dating a guy[20] online for 2 years, have known him for 3.
POST: Hey, first post to anything asking for advice so please don't send shitstorms my way.
I have been dating a guy (I'm a girl if it matters) online for 2 years, and he makes me happier than anyone else in the entire world. I love him to death. Soon he's going to be done with college and we have plans for him to come to my state (not saying which state to which for anonymity) to meet me so we can date for real. We have no plans on immediately getting together and acting like it's a continuation of those 2 years, we'd be starting fresh due to the nature of online dating.
Now here's where I need advice: I'm really nervous. I know about the "perils of online dating" and how "unsafe it is" so please don't lecture me about it. I'm kind of scared about it and I'm not sure how to go about the whole meetup. My parents do not know about him (I never told them and kept it a secret) and I don't think they'd approve.
I'm worried that maybe we won't like each other as much in real life and that the last 2 years of our relationship has been wasted. He is also not very wealthy and I don't want to waste his money with flying him over here and it not working out.
I'm also nervous about the obvious "he may be a rapist/murderer/etc." stuff but I sincerely doubt that he is anything like that because I watched for signs of it (and still do) just in case.
Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated, if you have any help as to how I could:
- Tell my parents (possibly so they could come with me to meet him for the first time, for safety reasons)
- Prepare myself to meet him
- Set up the meeting
- Have it not be awkward with the transition from online to irl
- Get over the nervousness
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | Dated guy for 2 years, plan on meeting up, family is conservative, need help with nervousness and meeting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guy [17M]keeps on disrespecting me [17M] by flirting with my girlfriend [17F of 3months] and being generally rude to me.
POST: A week before my girlfriend and I dated, he was a total douche to me. For example we were at the same party and he put his arm around her and asked her to choose between himself and I. At the end of the night he went to hug everyone in the room and when 'it came to my turn to hug him', I kinda just hugged him out of politeness, he didnt even make an effort to wrap his arm around me and he had the audacity to tell me that he didnt want my hug. Before i could've even reply he has already turned his back and walked away. I was fucking pissed and offended.
After my girlfriend and I got together, on her birthday he wished her a happy birthday and added a xoxo and a heart emoji and then in the comments section of his status he asked her if he was her bestfriend since he was the first to wish her a happy birthday on facebook LIKE WTF right?
Today I went on a picnic with my girlfriend and our other friend. The friend posted a picture of all of us together and he commented "you're so gansta with your squad of white people" im asian and my gf and our friend are 'white'. So I need your advice. For months I've been ignoring him but he's been really getting on my nerves. How should I respond if he comments or say something like this again? Or should I continue to ignore him? which is what i've been doing because confrontation is not really my thing. I am really tired of his shit.
TL;DR: | im dating his crush, hes being a jerk towards me. How should I respond when he starts to disrespect me again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I want to move (19F)
POST: My boyfriend (22) and I have been together for a year now. Everything is going ridiculously well, he's more than I could ask for and treats me so well. We get along amazingly.
Recently, we discussed the fact that I have a desire to move overseas. We have both travelled together and he's travelled with friends before, and this is something we both value greatly in each other - someone who shares the same passion for travelling as the other. However, in this conversation he tells me that he wouldn't be able to move overseas because he's very comfortable in the country that we're in (I only want to move overseas temporarily, I would come back once I felt I had accomplished everything that I wanted to). I understand this 100% and told him so. He then went on to say that if I was to move overseas, even for 3 months or so, he wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with me.
He feels horrible because he doesn't want me to resent him in the future for not being able to move overseas like I would very much like to do. I assured him that I wouldn't, and that I'd rather be with him than living overseas anyway (true).
Now, however, I find myself wanting to move overseas even more. I find myself severely upset that I can't move even though, given a couple of months, I could definitely afford to go for half a year or so. I'm very unhappy in my job, and I can't see myself staying there for too long. I know I'm whinging, but I just don't want to move and lose him.
I know we're only young, but we're both very mature for our ages and I can already see that I will (or want to) be with him for a very long time. He says the same. I just can't bring myself to move past this and I can't bring it up with him, because he doesn't budge on the subject.
I've made him sound like a bad guy here, he's really not, he just couldn't see himself in a ldr.
What can I do?
TL;DR: | I want to move overseas but boyfriend doesn't want to come with, and says if I go, then he can't be with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Should I sell my house and buy a new one to spend less? [x-post from r/frugal]
POST: I have just begun switching to a frugal lifestyle, as I am trying to secure my financial future...
Just recently swapped an Acura TSX for a Jetta TDi for lower payments and less fuel expenses (24 mpg premium gas vs 42mpg Diesel)... My fiancee and I have been eating more home-cooked food... I don't even recall the last time I bought new clothes :-/....
I have been working two jobs and one of them may end, hence the need to switch to frugal living.
Anyway, I bought a townhouse for 200k, financed for $1200 monthly payments. I then refinanced to 15 yrs at $1400 when the interest rates dropped... smart move... but with one of my jobs going away, I need to be even smarter about my expenses. It will be a drop from 97k to about 78k... but I am job-hunting (just got my master's in CompSci to go with my CompEng undergrad)
Now, the house was appraised last year at 220k, the house down the street with only about 100 more square feet sold for 220k recently, and I only owe about 162k. Would it be worthwhile for me to search for a new single-family home, possibly asking for 220k and settling at 200-210k, and going for a house in a lower range (i.e. 150-175k)? I figure my equity would be my down payment, so I would not owe much on the new home... also, I would be looking for a home a bit farther from work too (12 mile commute currently vs possibly a 20-35 mile commute)
Would this be a stupid move?
I just worry paying realtors will make the move impossible.
TL;DR: | Want to pay less than I currently do in mortgage, should I move to a similar-size home farther away from work that pays less? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: hello reddit, I need some advice about asking this girl to the prom
POST: Alright, to sum this up rather nicely, for the past month now I've been becoming better and better friends with this girl in my history class. She's actually really funny, smart, cute, etc etc. Anyways, with the prom coming up, I figure it'd be a nice idea to ask her to it.
there's a few problems though.
Initially, she didn't even want to go to the prom. we talked about it a few times, and now she says that some of her girl friends are starting to convince her to go. Later in the same conversation, she said that this weekend, her friends are trying to set her up with some guy (who had already graduated, but wants to go to the prom for some reason), and if they get along nicely, she's going to go with him.
Now this came across as weird for a number of reasons. When she was telling me her friends were setting her up, she almost sounded disappointed and apathetic. I imagine this would have been a great time to ask her out, but I decided to let her run her mouth while I nodded and smiled, heh. Another part of me thinks that, by her openly telling me about her plans to meet up with the guy for the weekend, it was her way of subtly telling me she wasn't interested.
Above everything though, this girl is really cool. Totally girlfriend material. It would really suck if I did ask her to prom, only to find out she's still considering not going/already committed with that other guy (or at least committed enough to give him a chance).
So my plan is to ask her later this week, and pretty much tell her that I'm really tired of high school drama bs and that we should just have a lot of fun. I am almost convinced this is the right move, but should I worry that she already apparently has plans to meet some other guy?
TL;DR: | I like a girl, but her friends are setting her up with a guy this weekend and she's apparently going to go. should I risk the awkwardness and ask her out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: 2nd date tomorrow - What should I do in this situation?
POST: I am in the process of getting to know a girl and have posted a couple times in this subreddit and have received great advice. You can look at my post history if you'd like to. Sorry for the long post, as my username implies I am pretty naive when it comes to dating.
This girl and I had our 1st date this past Wednesday and it was great. Thursday morning she continued our convo from the prior night. So I told her I had a great time, to which she responded enthusiastically. I asked to see her again this weekend since she said she was free Sunday late afternoon (tomorrow). She enthusiasticlly agreed and we decided on a time but not a location yet - I told her I'd get back to her after some yelp action.
She initiated and we texted all day yesterday about some breaking news on TV. Towards the end of the work day, I asked if she was still at work, which she said she was. So I told her no worries, I was going to call her about Sunday (she said she likes phone calls) but don't want to bother her at work. An hour later she said she was home now, but I was unable to call for another hour. When I did call, she did not answer and I didn't leave a voice mail, figuring she would get back to me. She has not gotten back to me yet. What should I do? She did say she was busy Saturday, but I feel like she should contact me back and she has been good about doing so thus far all the time. But, our date is tomorrow evening we said. Should I wait til later this evening and just text her where we are going? Or say nothing at all and see if she ever gets back to me?
TL;DR: | Called a girl about a scheduled date we had to talk about location. No answer thus far. What should I do if the date is tomorrow? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26/m] have feelings for my friend's [26/m] girlfriend [27/f]
POST: I've been friends with this guy, let's call him Henry, since high school. We're pretty close, moved to the same city after college, and talk every day. About 6 months ago I started texting his girlfriend, Mary, pretty much daily. We have a lot in common and it's nice to have a close female friend. Sometimes we'll talk literally all day.
Henry is totally aware of this and fine with it because he trusts us both. However, I've just felt myself lately developing really strong feelings for her romantically. I know this is wrong and I do not want to hurt my friend. I've been single for a couple of years now so maybe it's just loneliness. I don't know. She's never crossed a line in our texts and we rarely hang out one-on-one. I would never blatantly flirt with her or let my feelings be known. It's cliche and silly but I feel like I'm falling in love.
Normally, in such an ethically precarious situation, I'd just cease all communication with this girl. But in this case, Henry will think that's strange. I mean, why would I just start ignoring his girlfriend for no reason? She would think it's weird too and I want to emphasize that she's never said anything remotely showing interest in me. Our friendship has been totally platonic, at least on her end (from what I know). What do I do to stop these feelings? I don't want to end my friendship with either of them.
TL;DR: | I feel like I'm falling in love with my friend's girlfriend. I don't want to hurt him, but I can't end communication with her without giving away my true feelings. How do I proceed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my ex [21 F] of 6 months, used to be BFFs, but not since NC of 3 months. How to be friends again?
POST: there's a "rule" i heard of where you usually lose feelings for your ex in 1/2 the time you were together which is why i ask this question. i want to see if it's worth being friends with my ex again because we used to be so close before we became bf/gf.
my ex gf (21f) broke up with me 3 months ago. she thought we were better as friends and this hurt me alot cause i saw a future with her (living together & marriage down the road). she is a great woman that is respectful to her family, friends and even strangers, she shares the same passion for bicycling and running as i, and she's gorgeous, smart and a shoulder for me when things were hard. today is 3 months after our breakup. i have accepted not being in a relationship with her anymore. even though she is so fantastic i remember MANY MANY times when she didn't prioritize her spending time with me (i.e. she would go out with family and friends so much and leave me alone) and would forget our special days so she could spend them with other people!!! i didn't feel like a bf in those moments and overall felt like she did not care for the relationship as much as i did. this is what hurts me the most but i have accepted it now. this is ok and i know in many relationships it is common too.
i want to ask:
* is it worth being friends with her again?
* who should initiate?
i am still bitter that i was more invested than she was and don't want it to be the same for when we are friends again. now i hear she is having fun in europe and it makes me mad that she probably doesn't think of me anymore. if she wants to be friends, SHE'LL have to initiate first and lead the discussion. ball's in her court from now on.
TL;DR: | accepted that gf and i are over. not completely over her yet but asking how to proceed being friends with her after 3 mo of nc. no intent to get back together in the future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: (need help fast) dating an ex's sister
POST: I was seeing a girl a month ago, we only made out at the time, and we knew it wasn't going to work out so we split up.
But when going to her house I also got to know her sister, we started texting and went on a date.
Yesterday I went to her house (the other girl wasn't there) and we had sex.
Today she sends me a text asking if I think she's my backup plan or something, she found out I made out with her sister, which I thought she already knew
Now she's coming over to talk about it, but I have no clue how to tell her that I really like her and she isn't some kind of backup plan, any help?
TL;DR: | Dated girl, didn't work out, started dating sister, she found out I dated her sister first, she's mad and coming over, what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] like my GF [22 F] of 7 months, but don't lover her. Is this normal?
POST: I'm attracted to my girlfriend physically and to the qualities she possesses, but I don't have the feeling of love that I've felt in previous relationships. I told her this a few weeks ago, and she said that she has felt loving feelings for me, and we agreed to try to be more open and get to know each other on a deeper level. Since then my feelings for her haven't changed much.
Last night we talked about the future and she asked if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I said "Honestly, I do not know if I want to spend the rest of my life with you." She immediately got up and drove home w/o saying a word. She later apologized for leaving and admitted to being immature, but it still raised a red flag in my mind.
I feel as though we are at different stages of the relationship, and that I'm waisting her time by continuing to be with her. She is looking for a lifetime commitment, and I am trying to figure out if I can even love this young woman. I'm afraid that if I let her go I won't be able to get her back. Does any of this sound normal? Am I being selfish in this relationship?
TL;DR: | I'm attracted to my GF but don't love her, we're at different stages of the relationship, I'm confused. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: how do i (23f) get over myself and open up about my trauma to my therapist
POST: i've been dating my girlfriend for 9 months now, and i know that i'm difficult. i do a lot of things that from a different perspective are fucking insane, for example: one day she was very touchy and i was just not feeling it because i was very stuck in my head about my trauma. she was very understanding and was less so for the day. then later during the night *i* wanted to be physical and kiss and stuff and she wasn't feeling it bc she was tired but instead of thinking "it's midnight and we have to be up early" i kept thinking "all i'm good for is sex and she doesn't even want that so now what?" and i had a full emotional break down and couldn't even explain my thoughts to her. that's just one example, but it's happened way more than that and i feel horrible.
i've tried to talk about this with my therapist & it just gets stuck in my throat, and so i change the subject. i've been seeing my therapist for two years and i have yet to have a full discussion about why i even started, because i always try to avoid the subject or just straight up lie and say i'm fine. how in the hell do i start doing that? if there is anyone who's been in a similar situation i'd love some tips or something
TL;DR: | i need to start talking to my therapist so that i stop doing dumb things like screaming at my girlfriend for not hugging me goodbye when i told her 20 minutes before not to touch me. help |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Need advice on giving a friend/crush flowers
POST: So some background, I have a huge crush on this girl I've been friends with since highschool (now we're at the same university). You can say we're best friends and I know about all her past relationship details, so I also know that she had a complaint about her ex not getting her a glass of water once and how inconsiderate he was. Now, the thing is, we've made out a few times and I just recently confessed that I have real feelings for her but she didn't seem like she felt the same. She has previously said she would sleep with me to other people but it seems her feelings towards me are pretty hot and cold so that might not always be the case. I want to spark up any feelings she might have towards me by leaving flowers at her apt in a glass of water saying "here's that glass of water he didn't get for you." Is that too much too soon? Should I just give her space and let her come to me after I confessed my feelings towards her?
TL;DR: | confessed my affection towards good friend of mine/crush and want to give her flowers in a way her ex would've never done but she is very adamant that we are best friends who like to makeout sometimes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tips: How to ask my stingy dad for help on tuition?
POST: I'm at University at present, actually two. One uni is 4 years at £12,250 year and the other is is a condensed fast track degree which is 2 years at £2,425 - both degrees are necessary/needed for my future career, and I save around £8,000 by doing the fast track degree at the second uni.
My mum is amazing and is paying for my tuition at my 4 year uni, and she also christmas gifted me my first year's tuition of my condensed degree. She's not rich, and all my of college savings was put into tuition.
I have loans in order to cover my rent, books, travel, materials and I also work part time.
I need to come up with £2,425 for my last year of uni, and I'm already living on a budget of £400 p/m in london, and my mum is struggling to try to come up with a way to be able to pay for my last year of my 4 year uni.
Dad hasn't paid anything. He has a good job (airline pilot) and no mortgage. I've tried asking him for help and occasionally he'll give me £100 but he refuses to pay for anything related to tuition. It would really help if he would pay my last year's tuition on my fast track degree, but every time I bring it up, he tells me he has no money and can't afford it.
I already have loans out the wazoo and my mum is already struggling to help me make it to the end of my other degree.
What can I do? I need to convince him somehow to consider helping. Couldn't he just put it on his credit card? I'm so lost and not really sure what to do.
TL;DR: | Mum and I are broke, need tuition money, well off dad won't pay, advice on how to convince him to help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are some "job perks" you have that aren't as cool as they might seem to an outsider?
POST: I'll go first. I work in an office for a very small, but stable business. I'm an administrative assistant, and to make a long story short, there isn't much to do around here. Also, due to the nature of the business, I'm often the only one actually here for long periods of time. I have full, unrestricted, unmonitored internet access and I can just basically fuck around as long as I take care of the few necessary tasks every day. The boss is fully aware of this; I'm here because if I wasn't, those few things wouldn't get done.
Sounds cool, right? After a while, it actually gets rather dull. The most exciting part of my work day is usually deciding what to grab for lunch. As much as it would suck to have to work the whole time in a busy environment, it'd also make the day go by a lot faster. Plus, this isn't my home computer, so I'm pretty much limited to what I can find on Chrome.
TL;DR: | I get paid to do a few things and then just hang out for seven hours a day, and it's actually really boring. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19M) can't seem to stop thinking about my girlfriend (19M) only having squirted with a past hookup and it's driving me crazy.
POST: We've been dating for 8 month now. We really love each other and neither of us could imagine a better relationship. We're best friends and the sex is mutually great.
There's just one toxic issue that I can't seem to get out of my head. Months ago, my girlfriend and I were talking about sex and I asked her offhand if she had ever squirted. She said yes, once, when she was drunk and getting fucked really hard by a guy she was hooking up with and he told her that she was squirting.
I know it's irrational and stupid to be bothered about this, but I can't get it out of my head. Though I'm the first guy she's consistently had orgasms with, not once has she squirted in the hundreds of times we've had sex. It's not too uncommon for her to feel like she has to pee (supposed to be a clue that she has to squirt) in certain positions, but she's never actually done it with me. The other day I gave her a nice massage and fingered her with the "come hither" motion, yet it still didn't work (though she said she felt very close).
I realize that this is a non-issue from a rational standpoint, and it's something that she couldn't care less about. Still, I can't help but feel inadequate when I compare myself to some guy that she wasn't even dating and didn't have serious feelings for that made her squirt with his dick when he wasn't even trying. I want it to happen so I can put this issue to rest in my mind, but I feel pathetic when I actually try to get her to squirt with my fingers and am unable to.
I just hate that this guy is taking up so much of my mental space. Any advice on what I/we should do in this situation would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Can't stop thinking about how some past hookup made my girlfriend squirt with his dick without trying while I can't get her to squirt when I try. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: help dealing with my girl's crazy ex-boyfriend
POST: Hi reddit. I am 17 years old, male, and very inexperienced in the field of love. A couple months ago, I hooked up with a long-time friend of mine while the two of us were hanging out at her place. I've had feelings for her since sophomore year, but I couldn't act upon my emotions back then because she had a boyfriend. For the past two months we've been basically been inseparable and I feel like I'm ready to make things official.
There's just one problem... her crazy ex-boyfriend won't stop harassing her. He's already graduated from high school (19 years old), but he goes to a nearby community college so he's not going anywhere anytime soon. She tells me she's worried because he's threatened to hurt her friends by BURNING THEIR HOUSES DOWN (he thinks it's their fault through some faulty logic). He also constantly calls her and bombards her voice mailbox with messages. I've offered to contact school counselors for her, but she doesn't want him to get in trouble. She says he makes a lot of empty threats.
At this point, I feel like she wants me to confront the ex-boyfriend for her. I refuse to do that though because:
1) He sounds crazy and
2) I'm not a fighter.
So I'm basically at a loss of what to do. Should I just tell school officials anyways? Should I wait it out? Should I confront the guy?
TL;DR: | My girl's crazy ex-boyfriend is threatening to hurt people and won't leave her alone. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Weed - not against it, but it reeks...
POST: My roommates smoke a lot of weed. A few times a day, and for some reason always when I'm trying to go to sleep at the end of the day.
I have nothing against weed, and I have smoked it in the past. But it SMELLS TERRIBLE when you're not participating. My roommates think they can smoke all they want and just close the door.
This got me into thinking I need to do something smelly on my own. I need some suggestions for something that would be annoying for them to smell. I don't want to use stinkbombs or anything that would permanently make a house smell.
Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | Roommates make the house smell like weed, I want to make the house smell like something else as payback. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (M23) GF (F23) wants to get married, but I don't want to based on the fact she doesn't do oral. Am I wrong for that?
POST: We've been dating for a year and we have discussed the possibility of getting married in a couple of years. She genuinely seems to really want that. I'd like it too as she's been amazing to me, but I have always been a big fan of oral and while I give often....I never receive. She has stated that she will never do it in the future as we've tried before but she's just never been a fan. I feel like this will be a bigger issue down the line and I can't see myself getting married to someone who I'm sexually incompatible with. Am I being out of line for that?
TL;DR: | My GF wants to get married in the future, but I don't want to because of her lack of desire for giving oral. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I found out about something that I should not have.
POST: Yesterday, my girlfriend had her facebook page opened on my laptop. It was in the messages, I look at it and, since curiosity beat me, I starting reading a conversation she was having with another girl. In that conversation she talked about a guy that she described as "OMG FUCKING HOT", that wouldn't usually matter to me, but it kept going and she said "unfortunately the has dating some other dude" and continued saying that she would start talking to him and "whatever is going to happen happens" .
I confronted her and broke up with her. It wasn't just that she had that conversation, she had already cheated on me before and this just made me loose my confidence in her.
She is now saying that I am a jerk and that this is no reason. I said that yes I was a jerk for looking at her messages and I appologized.
Guys, do you think I overreacted? She took it pretty badly and I am trying to make this as easy as possible on her. What can I do?
TL;DR: | I broke up with my girlfriend because she said that she was unfortunately dating me and that she would start talking to some other guy and see what happens. Did I over do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm attempting to relocate to the other side of the country (mostly to pursue an online love interest) where I don't have any friends/family, what tips do you have for settling into a completely new area?
POST: A little background:
I am college grad in my mid 20s who's lived in California my whole life. I moved back home with my parents after college and have lived there and have been hating it ever since. I had a pretty good job working in finance making $50k/year but was laid off a couple weeks ago right when I was planning on moving out.
I've been chatting every day with this girl from Washington DC I met on okcupid for 3 months now. We have webcammed a couple times and I feel a real connection with her. We've made it clear that we like each other but we would only date if we lived in the same area. I have zero friends/family on the east coast. She will be in grad school in Baltimore for the next 3 years and I would only live in her area if I had a job out there similar to my old one.
I decided to apply for a couple jobs in her area and managed to land an interview next week.
I am a well-adjusted guy and am fairly confident at building new friendships wherever I go (I plan on utilizing /r/baltimore), so I won't be completely devastated if my relationship with my love interest doesn't work out. I also have zero debt and a good amount of savings in the bank (enough for a pretty extravagant vacation at least) so here is my crazy plan:
1.) Fly to DC and rent a car and hotel room for 2 weeks
2.) Between now and the end of my trip, apply like crazy to jobs including utilizing my love interest's connections and physically dropping off resumes/cover letters wherever possible.
3.) During my trip, look for a long-term apartment and car situation.
4.) Maybe spend a day or two actually enjoying Baltimore
This is my first time venturing out of California and my first time living away from my parents outside of college. Is this a good idea/bad idea? Tips?
TL;DR: | I have lived in cali my whole life, she's in dc. I got laid off and then got a job interview in dc and am considering moving there. Good idea? Bad idea? Tips for settling into a new area? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Teenager trying to find a job. Help me out, Redditors?
POST: I'm 17, and I live in Myrtle Beach, SC, so I essentially live in a tourist trap where almost everywhere only hires during the big holiday seasons, and those jobs are instantly taken up by family/friends of the managers.
Right before Summer last year, I went out and applied at 20+ places, called and checked up on all those applications at least twice, politely asked to talk to the manager, introduced myself, yada yada. I never got one call back. I always have references, hell, my main reference is a retired Colonel from the Army.
I really need a job, since I'm a junior in High School, and I need to save up $5000 to buy an instrument (euphonium) before I graduate high school, as I plan on joining a military band.
TL;DR: | I live in a tourist trap city, everywhere I look only hires friends/family, I have no friends/family in retail/service industry, need money for a very expensive instrument. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: NSV: Despite being bloated, today is a great day!
POST: I woke up today feeling fat and bloated. I actually said "I feel like crap" out loud right when I got up. It's almost that time of month for me, so I'm having all these cravings for sweet and salty food. I had both last night, contributing to my bloating.
I went to school, and on my way to class, girls from different sororities gave me fliers and told me to rush their sorority (it's recruitment week at my university). I've been in this school for 4 years, and this has never happened!! They normally just ignore me and give fliers to beautiful skinny people. I was grinning as I reached my class, and then I saw a friend that I haven't seen in over 3 months, and the first thing she said to me was "You've slimmed down! You look great!"
I'm still not skinny in any way, but I'm so glad that my hard work is showing!! I've gotten a crazy confidence boost today!!
TL;DR: | Felt like crap, but sorority girls think I'm good enough for their sorority, and friend noticed that I lost weight. Got major confidence boost! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [18 M] of 13 years is throwing his life away. Should I [18 M] bail, or try to help?
POST: So to start things off, my only reason to asking to bail is because he started being a real dick. Like a complete asshole to me, and all of our other friends. That's why i'm considering bailing. But I haven't actually been close "friends" with him for a good month or two. But I have known him, his parents, and his grandparents for a good portion of my life. Him and I were going to room together at university this year. About a month before graduation, he ended up changing his plans, and said he's not going to college. He started doing a lot of drugs. (smoking weed mostly, but he has done acid, e, shrooms, ect.). Still to this day, he is a dick, but that might be because of his lifestyle choices. Should I try and help him even though we aren't technically close friends anymore? Tell his grandparents (lives with them) what's going on? Or what? Basically at this point, all I've done is tell him that if he's going to be around that type of stuff, and act like that, then I cannot be his friend any longer.
TL;DR: | Close friend of my childhood throwing life away to drugs, decided not to go to college, and being an ass to everyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my EX [25 F] of 1 year. We broke up in January and I want to start going back to her restaurant but she doesn't want me to.
POST: She works at my favourite local bar in which I used to frequent multiple times a week and is where we met. I made friends with employees before and of course during our 1 year relationship. This is also a place my friends like to go for drinks and I've avoided as much as possible since the breakup as per her request.
We had a good relationship, only ever fought once during the 1 year together and had incredible sex. She acted very immaturely during the break up which has led to us not wanting to be friends and her blocking/deleting me from her life. I am okay with not having a friendship with her because she showed a side of her that I do not respect. I walked by the restaurant the other day and glanced over and she was standing on the patio and we made eye contact which ended very quickly and she awkwardly ran into the restaurant. It would appear she is not emotionally over the break up.
I have been back a couple times when I was confident she would not be working but would like to be able to frequent there without feeling guilty about making her feel uncomfortable. Should I continue to respect her wishes of not going there or should I just not care and go there anyways? Keep in mind, I did nothing to "wrong" her and was very respectful of her wishes through the break up.
TL;DR: | Ex GF will be uncomfortable if I go into her restaurant but I feel its her problem, not mine, and that I've respected her wishes long enough. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [23/M] am confused as to whether or not I should try for a relationship with her [28/F].
POST: Hey all. Nothing serious, just confused as to whether or not I should peruse a relationship or friendship.
So she [28/F] is quite interesting and career driven, though maybe a bit too serious. I [23/M] am a man child that understand real life is coming up fast. Our first date was a couple drinks at a local bar. 2 hours, awkward conversation, but overall enjoyable. Second date was tea, records, and dinner at her place and ended in me leaving her place not knowing where I stood then hugging her (positive response from her). Third date is tonight, going to see Les Mes and that's it because we both have to work in the morning.
We text daily, no phone conversations because we're both really busy; I work two jobs and school, she's assistant editor of a newspaper. I'm enjoying the contact with her and having something to do every so often but I don't really feel the spark that I have with people in the past. Normally I am head over heels at this point but with her I'm just thinking "this is nice but..." And I cannot figure out what that but would be.
I had a 2 year relationship end in April and was emotionally devastated. Not sure if I should continue for anything more serious with this woman [28/F] or just try for friends. I'm leaning towards friends but I would like to have the physical intimacy that I've been lacking since April. Not that I would use this girl for just sex but it'd be nice to have someone to be next to on occasion. Opinions?
TL;DR: | I [23/M] not feeling spark with her[28/F]. Should I continue on with a relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [27 M] not super attracted to my girlfriend [24 F] of 3 months, but she is super cool. Need some advice.
POST: Hello Reddit!
I have been dating this girl Larissa for about 3 months now and we have a fantastic time. We are completely on the same wave length as far as humor and life style. She even utterly whooped my ass on the golf course (she was a D1 full ride golfer) multiple times. My only issue is that while she is by no means an ugly duckling, I just don't find her to be incredibly attractive. She is cute, but not "Hot"... if that makes sense.
I got out of a relationship of 2 years with a girl I did find attractive, but every other part of her life was at odds with my values. Over time my physical attraction for her completely disappeared as well. Based on the premise that my physical attraction to someone will grow weak as we get old I have been asking myself the following question.
If everything else about this person is great (funny, motivated, successful, and someone I love to be around), why can't I seem to get over the fact that she is not a bomb shell? I feel shallow at times and think maybe I should cut this off, but so far it has not affected the relationship. Anyone with some more wisdom want to weigh in on what they have done in this situation?
TL;DR: | Girl I am dating is cute, fun, and I like being with her, but I don't find her to be"hot" / struggling with attraction. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Alberta - I need advice about Residential Tenancy Act, specifically about lease assignments (x-post from r/Calgary)
POST: Hi, I already posted this in r/Calgary, but then realized that this might be a more appropriate place to make my inquiry.
I need advice about moving from an apartment that I started renting from a management company back in March, into buying a condo. I found a condo that I am very interested in purchasing, and would need to make an offer on it soon.
However my apartment lease is not over until the end of April next year (14 month lease). This afternoon I stopped in to my rental office to inquire about breaking a lease early - I said that I had some reasons why I am looking at moving out early, but I would comply with any notice they require, and also my brother has expressed interest in taking over my lease for me. If he doesn't meet their requirements, I would be totally happy to find another tenant to move in so there was no loss of income for them. I want to be as cooperative as possible, and I figured there must be some way to go about this without penalizing anyone and nobody losing money.
I was told flat out "no, we do not allow lease takeovers. Your only option would be to pay a month's rent, plus a $100 concession for every month you've lived here". I told them I already had a few people who would be interested in moving in and taking over, so they wouldn't lose any rent, and they still said no.
I looked it up online and found out that what I meaning to ask for is a "lease assignment", and in Alberta it seems that a landlord can only refuse this for reasonable grounds, and cannot charge any fees for this. I couldn't find any other information in the Residential Tenancy Act that would clarify what "reasonable grounds" are, so I don't know how to go forward with this. Can someone please clear this up for me, or explain to me if my landlord company is allowed to say no at this time without an explanation?
TL;DR: | Please clarify what "reasonable grounds" means, in regards to a "lease assignment", and how my landlord can or cannot refuse a lease assignment if I find another tenant to take over my lease before it ends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: [16/m] broke up with my also [16/f] long distance girlfriend
POST: OK, let's try this again. So here's the deal. About a month ago, I broke up with my girlfriend, we were doing the whole long-distance thing. In the moment I was completely taken by emotions,(hormones too.) and I told her how much I cared for her, even told her I loved her.(First time I've ever said that to a girl.) In response, she told me she didn't feel the same anymore, and she just wanted to be friends.
She had started to become distant weeks before, and I knew it wasn't working... Anyway, several days ago, she sent me a email, asking to talk on Skype. So I accepted, and the next day we talk. All she wanted to do was have small talk. I was fairly offended, and cut her off, and logged off. At this point, I'm not really sure what I should do next. And I was hoping Reddit could give me some ideas, or whatever.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my long-distance girlfriend, started talking to her a month later, all she had to say was smalltalk. No idea what to do next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, have you ever been in a situation that you became so embarrassed for the other person that you felt the need to apologize for them, even though their behavior was in no way your fault?
POST: For example, one of my roommates has a ridiculous relationship with her boyfriend in which she is literally crying/screaming/screeching/stomping/fighting with him on the phone on a regular basis. It used to be at least bi-weekly, but lately it's been multiple times a day. The apartment that I live in is a 4/4 and our bedrooms are on opposite sides, and I can hear all of her dumb-ass drama and her yelling on the phone even with both of our doors closed. It's been so bad lately, and I was so embarrassed for her, that I felt the need to write a note to our neighbors that share a wall with her, apologizing for her behavior and assuring them that she is essentially moving out in the summer, and that the rest of our apartment is pretty sane. So what situations have you guys been in where you felt like you needed to apologize for something that really had nothing to do with you?
TL;DR: | My roommate is over-emotional and crazy and I had to write a note to our neighbors apologizing for her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21M] with my gf [21F] of ~ 3 years, 90% sure she is emotionally cheating
POST: Through catching glances of chat clients that are subsequently quickly minimised etc, i am fairly certain my girlfriend is having some sort of emotional affair or something she wants to hide with a friend. Additionally, recently she has not been showing me any affection, and takes her phone with her everywhere she goes.
I have trusted her for 3 years without ever having a single doubt, but this is all very out of character. Can I just outright ask to see her chat logs with this individual? I just feel that if I ask she will get defensive and turn it around claiming I have trust issues. Not knowing is making me resentful.
TL;DR: | see title, want to ask gf to allow me access to her personal conversations, don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: indirectly and being falsely accused
POST: ok, so here is the story; went out with co workers to drink last night; we had A LOT - mostly pitchers; one girl from work had nothing but vodka all night; when she was leaving; already drunk i walk her to her car; her mom is on her way to get her and i say lets go sit in my car to wait for her. when were in my truck we start fooling around; shes on top of me; kissing me; my neck; her pants are halfway down.... were fooling around a lot (both of us stupid drunk) but NO SEX happened. Her mom arrives and she gets out to go with her; she didnt see that we were together in there i dont think but she was pissed with her about her being so drunk..... so today; new day at work; feel like shit; hungover; apparently she barely remembers what happened and i happened to see that she was chatting with someone telling them what happened and in her telling the story she says i took her to the car and she was telling me no and that i wouldnt listen (THIS IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED) and she had to push herself off etc. so shes thinking me and other co workers maybe slipped her something IDK.......... i talked to her and to ME she says shes fine; and were ok; not to worry; BUT FUCK - I feel like shit for her thinking that when thats not how it went down.....
TL;DR: | got stupid drunk with a co worker; fooled around in car; today she tells others that i 'forced' her to fool around.... HELP ME REDDIT!!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Met a girl [F 20ish] at a party. How do I [M 20] take the step past a one night stand and create a more serious relationship?
POST: So I'm a sophomore at a decent sized uni. Last semester I met a girl in math class. We were friends but never moved our friendship outside of the classroom. It was one of those things where we both noticed eachother but never really did anything about it.
Anyways, the first weekend back at school this year we ran into eachother at a party. She approached me before I even saw her and we hit it off (mind you we had both been drinking). She gave me her number and later invited me back to her place.
At the party she kept saying she didn't want class to be awkward (since odds are we'll have class together again). I reassured her it wouldn't. A couple days after the party I shot her a text. I've had a few hookups in my time and they always just end after that. Thing is I don't know how to move the realtionship away from being just a one night stand to something more. She's a really cute, funny girl.
TL;DR: | Ran into a girl I kind of knew at a party. She invited me back to her room. Have been having an awkward text convo with her ever since. Not sure how to move the relationship forward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [22 F] and I [26 M] are in a complicated relationship and I don't know how to handle upcoming anniversary.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for three years. Our relationship has recently become complicated and we are in a spot now where we are together and exclusive, but not necessarily "official." To make a long story short, it got to this point because I have trouble with intimacy and showing affection and she has problems with communication. It dragged her down and we have been taking a break of sorts recently. For the past couple weeks I have been more open with expressing affection (she has also improved communication) and we are taking it slow to be sure that this is what we really want. We are also doing this so I can show her that I'm not just putting on an act.
To bring you up to speed about my current problem, our anniversary is coming up soon. In my mind, the relationship we had is over and we are now moving into a better relationship. Although we technically aren't "official", a part of my feels like I should still find a way to celebrate the anniversary as a way to show her that I am capable of being caring and affectionate. I have no idea how to even approach asking her about this. Should I even ask? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | My girlfriend and I are in a complicated relationship where we aren't necessarily "official" any longer and I don't know whether or not to try a celebrate our upcoming anniversary. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (M23) ending first serious relationship with (F23). Question about others' experiences in going forward/future relationships
POST: So my girlfriend, who I have been dating for a little over a year, is moving to Japan in September and the both of us have agreed that neither is interested in a long-distance type thing.
She is moving in September and while we never really explicitly agreed that it would end like the day she left, I suppose you could say that's sort of implied. However, as the day draws closer, I am finding it harder to remain emotionally invested, so to speak. Especially when we are not hanging out with each other. So I am currently torn between ending it now and "finishing it out" until she leaves. Has anyone ever been in this type of situation before? We have a very nice time when we are together but when we're not with each other, I'm finding it hard to see what the point is in continuing when we both know it's going to end soon.
Also, as this is my first serious relationship, I am very interested in seeing what else is out there, as I feel this has increased my confidence and interest in other women. I feel like it would maybe be wrong to just start dating other women from the get-go, but in your previous experiences, how long have you usually waited before getting yourself back out there after a relationship has ended?
Also for those of you with multiple relationship experience, have you found that your expectations and outlooks have changed when going into a new relationship as you have gotten older?
TL;DR: | Wondering if I should end relationship now with SO who is soon to move out of the country and curious about when to allow oneself "back into the market" and what to expect. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my friend [20 M] how to break off a friendship because my friend is a bigger creep than I thought.
POST: I have been friends with a guy at University for three years who's always been a bit creepy around women.
I always thought this was him just being socially oblivious as he's the type who lies about everything to make himself seem better but doesn't realize everyone can see through it.
Plus I felt a bit bad because I was one of his few friends.
Recently I bought him over to my apartment and my roommate recognize him as the stalker of his ex girlfriend, and that he wasn't comfortable with him ever coming to the apartment.
I believe my roommate 100% because of how well I know him and how my friend acts around women.
I want to completely break off the friendship because I don't want to be friends with someone who acts like this, but he's been a pretty good friend to me across the time we've known each other plus he's the type who really can't take a hint when being rejected. I probably won't see him much because I don't currently we don't currently have many classes in common.
I'm wondering how to break off the friendship, It's going to be hard because he's the type who really can't take a hint.
TL;DR: | Thought my friend was just socially oblivious, turns out he;s a full blown stalker, wondering how to break off the friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm male 23 need some advice on sleeping with a co-worker.
POST: I started a job at a pizza place last October, not ideal but its flexible for school. So there's this girl that works there who's really nice to me. I was entirely oblivious to the fact that she thought I was cute until the Christmas party rolls around and she was basically all over me. At first I was standoffish because I work with her and she seemed kinda like a bro if you will. She isn't super cute or anything but she does have some massive boobies. And as I kept drinking, the desire to plunge my face betwixt her voluptuous fun bags grew. Sure enough I caved and we shared a cab to her place for sloppy drunken sex. So fast forward to now, I have since discovered she is a HEAVY drug user. Cops were called on her last weekend because she was wandering around aimlessly in a bad part of town at 6am. Now whatever I say is taken as an invite for her to start flirting with me. And when I hang out with her and my other work friends she just keeps trying to hang onto me. I've told her I just want to be friends before and I doubt she even heard it. And you can forget about flirting with other women while she's around.
TL;DR: | Wacko drug addict I work with has a hard case of the feels. How can I permanently friend-zone this girl without having to quit my job or faking a relationship. All serious replies are appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [22] is regularly partying with a couple guys while overseas. I'm [27M] and am wondering if I should be concerned.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together four months. We really hit it off and barely were apart from eachother besides when I worked.
She's gone the next three months for school. Twice over the last two weeks, she's stayed out until 4am or so, doing cocaine with a guy in her class who she met there. She's been hanging out with another guy, too, who has a house by the beach. They play music together.
She's typically had a lot of guy friends in the past. This doesn't bother me. In fact, I love this about her. All my friends enjoy her company. Also, I know she typically handles herself well while intoxicated.
Last night was her birthday. She was going out and told me that she was going to call me when she got back to her place. She called me at 4am. She told me she was locked out of her place. Then she said that she tried to call me from someone else's phone earlier that night while she was out. She typically doesn't carry her phone while out, because it's risky to carry around a nice phone where she is. How could she have called me at four if locked out?
I've already asked if these guys try to hit on her, and she says they haven't. I know the guy from her class is cheating on a girlfriend he has back home, unless they're in an open relationship that I don't know about.
I love this girl more than anyone else I've ever met. Everything else betweqen us is amazing. We talk nearly everyday on Skype and constantly text. The things we say to eachother make me think she would never cheat. I don't want to come off as jealous or insane, but I want to ask her good questions that will open this subject up more easily.
Suggestions?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is overseas partying with a couple guys quite regularly. She seemed to lie about trying to contact me last night when she said she'd call. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 24/m had a great thing going with 21/F and she just threw me through the loop and broke it off.
POST: About 3 months ago I started talking to a girl at work. She just got out of a bad relationship so I was pretty cautious and so was she. At first she just wanted to be friends and I wasnt too excited about it but I decided to go the whole friend route. (usually never works BTW.)
Anyway it picked up speed quick. We hung out all the time took naps in my bed on days that we were hungover. Went out and got dinner and stuff like that. There was a TON of chemistry between us. Eventually about a month ago we kissed for the first time.
Since then we have been inseparable. Date nights, kissing all the time, meeting her family (they all love me BTW), talking about going to meet my family eventually. We told each other all of our secrets. The good and the bad ones. Im crazy about her and she tells me the same.
Now, here is the problem. In a matter of a single day she did a complete 180. Last night she broke it off with me and said she wasn't ready to have a boyfriend. Except while she was talking to me she couldnt keep a straight face. She kept holding back a smile and smirking. WHO DOES THAT? Breaks up with someone with a smile on their face.
Anyway, I am confused and upset to say the least. I know she was hiding something because she kept holding back a smile. I told her before we got into this that I didnt want to be some rebound for her and she promised that I was not and that she really likes me alot. I mean I go over to see her family all the time!
We went from crazy love birds, doing everything together, to nothing in a single day.
TL;DR: | Had a great thing going with a girl. and in a matter of a day she got weird and broke it off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22M] girlfriend [22F] is leaving to her country but we're in love
POST: I met my girlfriend 6 months ago. She's an exchange student from Korea and I live in Europe. We've been dating for 3 months now, not in a very serious way until this last month.
From the beggining we knew that it wasn't going to last long because she was going to leave to her country but now I've really fallen in love with her and I think she feels the same. It feels very sad and strange that probably I will never see her again and I have no idea how to handle it.
I live alone and I have few friends and not a lot of money. I am afraid I will feel very lonely. Is there a way to make this less painful?
TL;DR: | We are both in love but will never see each other again because we live very far apart. How to make it the least painful for both of us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[24M] Getting mixed signals from [23F]
POST: This [23F] in question is a co-worker of mine. I know she's not seeing anybody and she's shy(just like me). We both work part-time, sometimes together, sometimes not. Sometimes I see her a few times in the same week, sometimes once every 2 weeks. Random is random.
It's a follow up to this:
So I had a "meh" coffee date with her last winter. Okay, whatever. Now, during this summer, we were talking during our break and she told me how she likes to do bicycle but she has nobody to go with her. So I decided to exchange numbers with her and I told her we should go together someday because I'm exactly in the same boat. She seemed cool with it. Now when I try to plan something with her, she tells me she's really busy and it won't be possible. Okay, whatever. When she told me that, I stopped making myself some ideas. If she wants to reschedule, fine, but I won't wait for her.
After that day, we didn't see each other at work for like a month, maybe more. Good, maybe I can forget her. Well one day, late on a saturday night, I receive a text from her(we never texted before), asking me if I'm still alive, what I'm doing, etc. Why would she do that? Does she care about me or not?
I used to try to hang with her at every possible opportunity at work but I told myself to stop, that was pathetic. Well, now that I've stopped, the next time we saw each other at work, she would try to hang with me at every possible opportunity. Now I'm just confused. I don't know what to do. I like her. I wanna hang with her. She's a good girl. But I just don't understand her. Do I try to set up another thing with her, again, or should I just stop caring?
TL;DR: | When I'm getting close to a girl, she backs off. When I back off, she tries to get close. Mind = confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: College kids and trespassing on my property?
POST: I live in a college town in Pennsylvania. I am living in a house with my grandmother in which she owns. Across the street are college kids who have been walking up our driveway and through our yard every night since it has gotten warm out. My bedroom window is next to the driveway and the backyard and Their loud talking has woken me and my elderly grandmother up on many occasions. We also have trash appearing in our yard, while some of it blows down from the townhouses behind us, we are concerned some is also from the college kids. She also does not want her yard, trees, flowers etc to be ruined by foot traffic.
One night, around 10 pm, a friend of mine picked me up as we were entering his car a group of 8 or more college kids starts walking up my driveway like its nothing. He gets out of the car and kindly tells them that they are not allowed to walk through the property. They say they are going to do it anyway and continue to walk towards the backyard. He then more firmly told them that they needed to turn around and find another way to get where they were going. They turned around after a few rude comments and walked down the driveway only to trespass on the other side of the house.
TL;DR: | College kids are trespassing on our property sometimes during the day, other times late at night while we are attempting to sleep. We kindly asked them to stop. They continued anyway. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By measuring a building with the wrong scale and costing my company a large sum of money
POST: So this has played out over the course of about 2 weeks but myself and my colleagues only recognised my fuck up today.
I work as a Quantity Surveyor / Estimator in a scaffolding company and its my job to visit construction sites and talk with contractors and gather information to price the scaffold. 2 weeks ago i visit a site to measure a very large 7 storey building to produce a price to submit to the contractor. They tell me they need a very quick start as the client are rushing them to begin work. I'm given a set of drawings among other information and go back to the office to begin work.
Now, before i begin the part where i completely fucked up, I've been in my current job for nearly 9 years and although i have made mistakes, i don't think I've ever made a more stupid mistake than this one. I begin measuring the building with a scale ruler and establish that the scale is 1:200, and even though i JUST established this, my stupid head decides to use 1:100 instead. For those who don't know, this means that i measured the building at half of the size than it actually is.
Now, usually, a mistake like this might have been spotted at a later stage but since the contractor was rushing us to get a price back to them, my fate was sealed. We only discovered today that the measurements were half of what they should be and since we have already signed the agreement and have the order, there is no way we can change this. I was tasked to assess the loss of my grave error this morning and it came out at... £120,000. Fuck.
TL;DR: | Was rushed to complete a task, brain fart and used the wrong scale to measure a massive building resulting in my company losing £120,000. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [22 M] deal with my dad [57 M] who is dating someone around my age [27F] and making me feel uncomfortable by the way he acts?
POST: So, I'll begin by saying that my dad and mom split when I was 10 because my dad is bipolar. He's always acted a bit crazy and immature. He expects the world to revolve around him. He does care for me, but what he does for me does not always equal out the stress he puts on me.
Anyway, recently he started to learn how to text with his phone (Important because I feel it's an attempt to act younger) and some way or another is dating someone much younger than him about 27 years old. Now, he is acting like an asshole to me. Treating me as if I'm a child again when I'm on my own taking care of myself for the most part.
The part that weirds me out the most is that some girl I know that is good friends with one of my best friends now knows him. He calls me up to tell me that and ask if I know her, when she said she knows me.
It's making me real anxious right now and I don't know how to bring it up to my dad because he doesn't act rational. He doesn't take his medicine so I can't know how he will react. I want to just leave him out of my life, but until I move out of my state in a month or so that isn't too easy.
I'm not sure what is the best way to apporach this. Should I just wait until I move? Should I talk to an older cousin or an uncle to have them try and talk to my dad for me? I just sorta feel helpless.
TL;DR: | My bipolar dad is dating someone around my age, starting to know people I know and it is making me feel uncomfortable. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33 M] with my LDR girlfriend [30 F] 7 months, dealing with Valentine's day in relationship limbo?
POST: Quick backstory: I was married for a few years, and we separated a bit over a year ago. We haven't divorced yet, largely for financial reasons (we've both been struggling since the separation, just couldn't find the money for it). Seven months ago I met my girlfriend. She lives a few hours from me, but it's been great so far. She's been planning on moving my way, looking for work here, we've been planning a future together, and we're crazy about each other.
But about a month and a half ago, she started getting distant and cagey, and wasn't very forthcoming about why. I thought it was due to some life and family issues she had going on. After a couple weeks of that, she canceled a trip to see me at the last moment, and told me that she was putting things between us on hold, and that she'd been getting increasingly bothered by the fact that I wasn't divorced yet. So, I quickly sold some stuff and went to file the papers on my own, foregoing a lawyer. I was hoping that at least starting the process would be enough, but nope...she maintains that until the divorce is final and I'm no longer legally married, there can be "nothing between us".
So, that's how it's been for a bit over a month now. We still text each other sporadically, but she won't answer my phone calls and the texting is strictly platonic. But as of yesterday, she's still saying that we're only "on hold", and that she's looking forward to resuming the relationship. The divorce will probably wrap up around late February, maybe March.
Which brings me to my question...how do I handle Valentine's Day? We're technically not "together" at the moment...but we're not really broken up, either. I'm worried that if I do something romantic, she won't be receptive to it given the circumstances, and might even be upset that I'm disrespecting her stance and feelings. But I'm also worried that if I do nothing, she'll be offended and hurt.
TL;DR: | Going through a divorce, LDR girlfriend says relationship is on hold until it's finalized, what do I do for Valentine's? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [37 M] with my girlfriend [35 F] 4 months, she is smart and extremely attractive, but sex with her bores me to death
POST: My girlfriend and I met on OKCupid back in April. She is gorgeous, 5ft 11in, beautiful blond hair, a model's body, and looks like a younger Kim Basinger. She is without a doubt the most beautiful person I've ever slept with.
Not only that, but she is smart, witty, has an independent income (ie. not looking to be a "kept woman"), and like me, doesn't want kids. Perfect, right? In most ways she is.
The problem? Sex with her bores me to death. It is actually the most boring sex I've ever had. She wants to have sex, and seems disappointed if I'm not in the mood, but for me it feels like a total chore. She is very pedestrian with sex (I tend to like my partners to talk dirty a little, nothing insane, but I don't think she'd be into that). When we have sex she lies there like a starfish for the most part, and actually jokes about the fact that she lies there like a starfish. It's like she doesn't feel like she should have to make an effort.
Oh, and she often has bad breath, and seems to take pride in belching. I'm not making this up.
Frankly, I strongly suspect it's because she is so attractive, she just takes it for granted that guys will enjoy having sex with her, and that this also gives her a pass when it comes to bad breath, belching, and so on. I was previously married to a woman for 13 years and I can honestly say that I never once heard her belch, fart, or notice that she had bad breath. With my current girlfriend these things were all readily apparent within days of us starting to spend the night together.
I'd appreciate any feedback on the situation and am happy to answer questions.
TL;DR: | smart and hot girlfriend doesn't try in bed, had bad breath, and belches unapologetically. WTF. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [25 M] attracted to a girl [21] who I have known for 3 years but have only started to get close to. I am starting to like her but she likes someone else. Should I stop?
POST: After bumping into a girl I have known for 3 years through our hobby (cosplay) but never got the chance to hang out with, I asked for her number. A few days later I asked her out. She accepted. We then started to regularly hang out and have dinner every weekend for about a month, as well as text and chat every night.
I've grown to really like this girl so much, we have so much in common. I'm a sucker for girls who read and write (being a reader and frustrated writer myself) and love how much she respects her parents, brothers and sister. We also planned to cosplay together someday.
In one of our late-night texts, I found out that she liked someone in her workplace, and that guy also liked her. Just that despite being in the same workplace, they don't get to see much of each other and that this guy isn't really fond of communicating via text or chat.
Well I did confess to her that I like her. She told me she hopes she didn't hurt me by telling me that she liked another guy, and that she respected me for still being friends with her (yes here's the friendzone :<). The following Saturday, we hung out again, had dinner and went home.
So my question is, should I continue on staying with her, hoping that she'd stop liking the guy so I can court her (yeahp, I'm old-fashioned)? Or should I just give up giving her my time?
TL;DR: | Attracted to amazing girl, girl likes someone else and that someone likes her too. Yet she still takes the time to hang out with me and communicate with me a lot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my friend [24 M] I like him, but he keeps saying "that girl is cute and i want to sleep with her".
POST: A friend of mine introduced me to this guy (he's 24y) a year ago.
Initially i treated him just as an acquaintance and we hardly speak or meet. However, we met again one month ago and decided to catch up over coffee. We get along so well and i gradually grow a feeling for him ever since then.
The problem is, he is a bit weird.
He said to me many many times how some girls are cute and grossly he said he wants to sleep with them. Make me mad (I'm not showing it) and ofc jealous!
Idk what's wrong with him, but recently i found out that he broke up with his ex-girlfriend not long ago and he said it's painful whenever the old memories come flowing back when he visited some place.
What should i do? I'm going crazy just thinking about him..like him so much..but then again he may not like me and can possibly be a jerk (cheat and stuff)
TL;DR: | Why keep saying a girl is cute and I want to sleep with her? It's gross but should I continue after him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what kind of skills do you possess that have led to awkward moments?
POST: Today I mistakenly locked my keys in my room, which has a doorknob with a key lock (not the simple push with a paperclip type knob). I asked my roommate if he had a spare key to the room (he owns the house), but he didn't.
Not a big deal, because **I know how to pick standard locks with a paper clip and an Allen wrench**. I'll clarify that I am not a locksmith, so the reasoning behind this skill is far from professional. (I won't go into that either). I had somewhere to go and was in a hurry, so I asked my roommate for some paperclips and tools.
My roommate looked on in confusion as I twisted, bent, and formed a paperclip with a set of pliers. He got even more confused when I inserted a small Allen wrench at the bottom of the lock to act as a tension wrench, stuck in the paperclip, and raked around until I felt the pins set in place. I unlocked the door, got my keys, and walked back out. The entire process took about 5 minutes.
Afterwards my roommate said, "I don't know how I feel about how quickly you did that..." (Quick explanation: I just moved in a couple of months ago). After a brief awkward silence, I responded by telling him that I used to lock my keys in my house/room/car all the time, got sick of calling a locksmith, and eventually learned how to pick locks myself. He gave me an "Are you serious?" look, slowly walked to his room, and closed the door behind him. I haven't seen or talked to him since.
TL;DR: | New roommate/landlord witnessed me pick a lock MacGuyver style within minutes. Awkward silence followed by shaky excuse resulted in an even more awkward moment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by potentially becoming a terrorist
POST: Long time lurker, first time poster. This FU started a few days ago and will potentially reach its peak in a couple days. So I'm in college and for this science fiction literature class I'm in we had to choose an outside text to do a short report on. Easy, I pick a book, done. I don't actually have the book, but hey, that's what Amazon is for. So I go order it and get a couple extra things to get free shipping because my free Amazon Student trial just expired *sobs*. Now, I'm an avid knife collector so of course anytime I buy something I think "You know what would go great with that? A knife!" Not to mention that it's almost my spring break so there's a perfect opportunity to ship it to my house and not have to wait forever to unbox it. So it's on over to BUDK to add a little more to my collection, including a cheap 20" dagger (and a Condor Bushlore for all you knife collectors out there who are complaining about the quality of my purchase). A few days later I get the regular email from UPS about how they shipped my package, blah blah blah, and I glance at it to make sure the delivery date is right, the usual stuff. Then I notice that they got my address wrong, so I was understandably pissed because that undoubtedly meant that my order would be delayed. Then it slowly dawns on me. Fuck. I put my college address in the shipping information. As in, I just had several large and extremely illicit weapons shipped to my college. Fuuuuuuuuuuck. It might not be a problem except for the fact that the postal service sends emails to students when they get a package, including who it's from, and it's from one of the largest knife distributors out there so there's a decent chance someone's going to recognize it and possibly report it. It's suppose to get here Wednesday, so I guess I'll find out how well people know this website pretty soon. But don't worry reddit, I'm a responsible adult and I know what to do if I'm confronted about it. Stare them in the eyes and pee on them to assert my dominance.
TL;DR: | Tried to buy some stuff online to pick up at my house over spring break, ended up shipping a box full of knives to my college. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend has no ambition and it's bothering me.
POST: (I'll apologize ahead of time, because this is a bit of a rant as well as asking for help) I (M,22) have been dating my girlfriend (F, 21) for about a year now. She's a really nice girl, and most of the time, she's fun to be with. However, she has no ambition or drive in life. Currently, she works at a McDonalds - This is fine, because she hasn't graduated college and doesn't quite know what she wants to do with her life yet. I get that, I really do. At 22, I still don't know what I want to do. But what bothers me is that she doesn't even bother trying to figure out what she wants to do. She's told me that she doesn't want to find a better job (Despite the fact that she complains about her job/pay somewhat often), because it's comfortable there. She says that she has ideas about going to college to be a nurse, but at every turn throws up excuses. She doesn't even try, instead just hiding behind "It's hard!". It feels childish, almost like a plea for attention.
And she keeps bringing it up in conversation, pointing out my (very limited - I make about enough to live by myself) success, compared to the fact that she works at McDonalds. This is honestly what bothers me the most, because it makes me feel bad for having a (what she calls) real job. I've tried talking to her about it, but she still does it pretty often.
We actually had a fight about it not long ago, and ever since then, she keeps telling me how she's going to do all of this stuff (Go to school, apply for better jobs, lose weight, etc), but for all intents and purposes, has given up on herself. She's told me that she's just decided to give up on trying to lose weight, and she's just seemingly stopped caring about our sex life.
I don't know what to do. I care about her, and I like spending time with her when she's not comparing herself to me.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has no ambition and has given up on herself and keeps comparing herself to me to make both of us feel bad, but I still like her. What can I do to get our relationship back on track? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: After having a rough time at school, what should I do for myself in the free time I have before graduation?
POST: Hi everyone!
I'm a college senior and I graduate in a couple of weeks. I've worked hard throughout my time as a student but had difficulty with my last two years due to a bad transfer process. I'm feeling proud, excited, and anxious about graduation itself and my next step after graduation.
I don't have any final exams this semester and I handed in just about all of my final projects and papers. I have 10 days between the last day of classes and my graduation day, but I have no idea what to do with all of that time. During this time, there are a few social events for seniors. But most of my friends aren't seniors, aren't graduating this semester, or have a lot of finals so I don't have anyone to go with. I'm going to go home for a few days to start moving things out from my apartment, but I live too far away to go back a second time until after I graduate.
Because I've had so much difficulty with my time at my second school, I really want to do some good things for myself. I'm planning on going to a concert, prepping more job applications and grad school requirements, visit a couple of unique spots nearby, and spending time with my friends. But this still leaves me with a ton of free time.
Does anyone have any suggestions on things to do for myself (self-catering, fun, or new things) that's relatively cheap or even free? It can be just about anything. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Have about 10 days with nothing to do before graduation. Had a very rough time at school, need things to do occupy and treat myself for cheap or free for said 10 days. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do we define what is "Literature" and what isn't?
POST: Is it the age of the writing? If so, what is the temporal cutoff, and does that mean that everything written before that time can be literature? Does it mean things written after that period can't be literature (David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest is considered "Literature" by many, despite it being fairly recent compared to Austen, etc.)
Is it the popularity? If so, does that make Twilight or Harry Potter "Literature"?
Is it the gravity of the subject matter or themes? How do we assess this on a non-subjective basis, if at all?
Is it none of these? Some other factor or combination of factors?
TL;DR: | Given there are a bunch of books everyone considers "Literature", how do we collectively decide what books get that title? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Tight Knees?
POST: Apologies if this has been asked already, but I couldn't find anything like it.
I'm very new to running, began with Couch to 5K but modified it a bit near the middle. I can run about 2.5 miles comfortably at this point.
Here's the thing: each time I add on a few minutes to my workouts, during the last several I'll get a sort of tightness in the back of my knee. First it feels as though it's going numb, and even though I'm bending my knees, each time I step I'm surprised-it feels as though I shouldn't be able to. It doesn't hurt, and I only ever get the sensation during the last few minutes of an extended run. As soon as I walk for a few minutes, it goes away.
I'm young, not overweight, and have never had knee problems. What could be causing this? Is it normal, or should I be concerned?
TL;DR: | Whenever I add additional minutes to my runs, I get a numb/tight sensation in the back of my knee during them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] how do I filter out low sex drive/ED guys and/or guys that lose attraction after sixish months?
POST: Basically, I was in an unfufilling relationship for a number of years with a low sex drive/ ED guy. While the first six months of the relationship were awesome, sex all the time, that changed after about half a year and he lost his desire to have sex.
I stuck it out for a long time being the only one to initiate sex and being rejected most of the time. But now we are no longer together and it was an extremely painful break up, I'm still hurting and so is he.
What I want to know now is how to prevent this from happening again.
I'm really only able to enjoy sex and only want to have sex with someone I'm in love with, which is why I stayed for so long. I don't want to start dating and fall in love with a new guy only to have the same problems arise again.
So while dating (before sex occurs) what traits can I look for in a guy that indicate he has and always will have a high sex drive so I pick these guys to continue dating. Also, what traits signal that he secretly has a low sex drive/will develop a low sex drive and/or ED, so that I can avoid this type?
I don't want to bring up sex too early in the dating process nor have sex before a committed and love-based relationship, so these have to be covert indications.
I can't just ask "do you have ED/high sex drive/etc?" One, because he might lie. Two, because if you get too sexual with a guy early on, he may not take you seriously as a relationship prospect.
TL;DR: | Need ways to filter out low sex drive/ED guys WITHOUT having sex too soon or having sexual discussions too soon in early dating relationships. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23 F] Fiance [20 M] doesn't want me going to the strip club for my friend's 21st birthday
POST: My fiance and I have are really good relationship. I identify as bisexual and he is straight. I've been to strip clubs before we were together. They are fun, I've been there with my friends and for people's birthdays. I've obviously grown up in a different household than my boyfriend because as strange as it is the first time I went to a strip club was with my dad (he was worried it would be dangerous) and I've been to one with my brother (on my 21st).
I don't go there to get off. I wouldn't get a lap dance. It is just harmless fun. I'm not cheating.
I feel like he doesn't trust me. Does it come down to trust?
What am I going to do?
When I ask him he says he is uncomfortable with it because I'm gay...but that doesn't explain much to me?
I asked him if he'd go with me and he said no as well.
It is my best friend's birthday, she wants to go to the strip club, I don't want to not celebrate her 21st with her.
I do so much for him and I've changed so much, it is unreasonable that I ask that strip clubs are left on the table? I don't go that often but I enjoy them? I don't want to make him uncomfortable but I also don't want to give them up? Am I being a bitch?
I just don't understand his problem with them? Help?
TL;DR: | Fiance doesn't want me to go to the strip club to celebrate my best friend's 21st birthday, I want to go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my [24 F] dating for over 7 months, I need some genuine advice to approach this situation
POST: Been dating this wonderful woman for more than 7 months now. She is away visiting family for holidays and we both are still in school. Over new years eve I kissed some one at midnight. Someone I barely knew for a few days. I was quite inebriated. But I know it was a peck on the lips that lasted probably one second( Complete honesty). I feel terribly guilty about it in retrospect and I need to tell her about it.
What is the best way to approach this?(someone with an unfortunate experience like this?) She is still away and I can't wait to see her so I can get this off my chest. Most importantly, I have dated a lot of people casually, but this feeling of sadness that it happened is killing me. I think it also tells me how much I am into her. I would love to hear some advice and just possible ways to approach it. (Sorry for bad grammar and poor sentence construction)
Thank you
TL;DR: | Kissed a girl (Peck on the lips!) for newyears who isnt GF. I have to tell GF. need some advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is it F[19]ine to keep going on dates with hiM[19] even though I'm not attracted to him?
POST: Sorry about the wall of text!
It's been a week since I first spent time with this guy I know at school. The first time we hung out, it was very spur-of-the-moment. Since I am in a major with not too many girls, I thought of it as nothing different than hanging out with any other guy friend.
A couple messages and a few days later, I realized he might like me. After our plans to go out with a group fell through, our first "date" was spent watching funny, silly movies in his dorm room. He got a little touchy-feely - holding hands, leaning against me, hugging me occasionally when we talked. Fast forward to the end of the date: he told me he liked me and I told him I did too, but I needed to take things slow. He tried to kiss me, but I turned away and we hugged awkwardly. We talked normally after that and he dropped me home.
He's a great guy: he's smart, funny, nice, quite a talented musician, caring too. But I came home and realized that I'm not physically attracted to him. I really think we could be good friends though because we share so many similar interests.
I feel like I led him on and I'm a terrible person for doing that. I asked him if he wanted to hang out tomorrow because I wanted to clear things up with him. But talking this through with a couple of friends has confused me utterly.
Should I continue to hang out with him and see where things go, even though I feel no physical attraction towards him? Or, should I just let him know where I stand, and what's the best way to do this without hurting him?
TL;DR: | How should I deal with a guy I'm not physically attracted to, but really like as a person? If I do let him know that I don't like him sexually, how can I put it gently? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] have an awful relationship with myself [23F]. How do I stop this?
POST: Obviously, I could think that all my problems are formed by some mighty spirit god that's simply out to get me. Hell, it might even be true.
But, internally, I know. My own emotional tribulations are caused by myself. Yet, I can't let it go.
My thoughts run throughout the day, uplifting every possibility of something deeply failing and flailing. A certain form of control. Those thoughts stop me from being passionate. And, most certainly, hinder any love I have for my own personality.
For those of you that can, frankly put, just let it go, how do you do so? What is different about your personality? What do you think throughout the day?
The relationship I'd like to work on most, right now, is the one that's between me and my downtrodden thoughts.
TL;DR: | Woman thinks she can control her thoughts, people around her. She can't. How do y'all let it go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my wife [28 F] of 6 years and daughter [2 F], wife asked me to move out
POST: My wife and I compete each other, we same the same things at the same time and understand each other instantly. We are both working professionals, but she is the "bread winner" her job pays 3 times what mine does. I supported her through school and we were banking on her success as a family. I also feel like I am the "housewife" of the family, I am definitely more domestic and take upon myself most of the household chores, which I don't mind and enjoy.
Despite being close, we don't have the most passionate relationship to say the least and that has always been the point of tension and cause for fights and drama. She's always unhappy with me and says that "I don't love her", but then forgets about it and doesn't bring it up for a couple of months. And so we have these weird cycles.
To complicate things we have a daughter of 2 years. She is our star and joy and purpose in life. We both love her so much it makes us cry. Her smile can give me super powers and make me move mountains.
Today we had another fight, but it got to the point where we can't even fight anymore and she asked me to move out and I said ok. And I don't know what to do. On one hand I am relieved and I feel like I can get myself together if I do it. On the other I am very scared to lose my daughter. But I also don't want her to grow up in a household where the parents don't have a healthy relationship.
What does your experience suggest? My parents don't have the best marriage, but my dad has been away for work all the time (9 moths out of the year). Can't look at their relationship.
Any comments are welcomed, at least it will help me bounce my thoughts/feelings of them.
Thank you
TL;DR: | Have been having marital problems for a while, wife asks to move out, worried about kid. What's best for the kid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I miss college
POST: Maybe this is the typical transitional phase from college to adulthood, but holy shit if I don't miss it a lot. In college I had a lot of friends, I made my fucking best friends there, and as a bonus my apartment (well not fully mine since I split the rent with three other guys) was the fulcrum of our social circle. We had the place everybody we knew wanted to be, it was awesome in so many ways! When we were under aged we all took my place as a safe haven for getting drunk, we would all play video games together, smoke some, etc. It was the place to be.
Now I'm 22, fresh out of college into my career and I cannot be any more depressed.
Out of everybody in my social circle I am the only one who got a job out of state, and on top of that I got my job in a small town out of state. Now it's not terribly bad, a lot of my friends are still within a 5 hour drive of me, but leaving all my best friends is depressing as fuck. Everybody in my town is either five years older than me or married, making it supper difficult to me to hangout on the weekends. I've literally only made only one good friend since moving here.
In college I wasn't depressed, occasionally I'd go through an emotional slump, but who doesn't? Yet here I am, miles and miles away from my nearest best friend and I couldn't be more depressed. I see facebook post of all of them driving across my home state to see each other on the weekends, having a good time. I still call and text them all, but it's just not the same. I feel so alone, and unable to meet anybody close to me since moving here, it sucks.
TL;DR: | I miss all the friends and experiences I had in college. I may have a career with high pay but I've never been so depressed in my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] A girl I asked out wants to bring friends on a first date? She's [18/f]
POST: It's kind of weird, but I partially think it's my fault.
Earlier today I was talking to her on the phone and we got on the subject of dating. She told me about some guys that took her out on a date and how they were basically assholes because the next day she saw them with another girl and whatnot.
Now, I figured she was hinting for me to ask her out on a date. This is where stupidity completely kicks in for me. I meant to say "So, do you want to **go out** some time?"
Instead, I said "So, do you want to **hang out** some time?" Holy fuck, the cringe afterwards was real. She giggled a little bit and said "Hang out? I'd love to. Just tell me if you're doing anything fun and I'll come with."
Couple hours later, I call her up again and ask if she wants to go to this bowling/go-kart/laser maze place with me tomorrow. She had commitments, so the answer was no but she said she'd text me whenever she was free again. She also said thanks for asking, if that makes any difference. Then she said that she'd bring her roommates because they're all fun to be with.
----
Little background on roommates: I met them a couple of weeks back. They were all friendly and I had a good time just hanging out with them and they all seemed to have a positive reaction to me. They're also all girls, so I don't need to worry about any guys being there.
Now, what do I do? Still go on a "date" with this girl even if her roommates come? Ask one of my friends to come with to distract her roommates? Cancel it altogether and just find another girl?
TL;DR: | Girl I asked out wants to bring her roommates with her on a first date. Potential harem or GTFO? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] am very confused about situation with a girl [18 F]
POST: So, there's this girl that I currently have a crush on for a few months now. When she's had a few drinks she is always flirting with me (drinking age is 18 where I live btw). She has even texted me when drunk to flirt with me. One night a few we went out with two other friends and when we were alone she told me she's having a great time and wants to hangout more often.
About a month ago now myself and a group of friends (including her) went to a club, where we ended up making out. She then asked me out to lunch the next day with her and our mutual friend.
Now all this sounds like she's really into me. However, the next day we go out to lunch she claims that she can't remember anything from the night before because she got so drunk. I kinda assumed she said this because she didn't want to remember, I could be wrong. Also, when she's sober she doesn't really ever text me and she never flirts with me. This is giving me extremely mixed signals.
Now, normally at this stage I'd just ask her out and if she says no then so be it. I'd chalk all that up to her just being drunk. The problem is that I'm friends with her close-knit group of friends and I've already dated someone within group and it didn't end well. I'm afraid that if I ask her out and she says no then I might lose my friends because we can't hangout due to the fact that it would probably be awkward between myself and this girl.
So, I have a two part question. Do you think she's into me or just looking to have 'fun' when she's drunk? Also, whats the best way to ask her out to try not make things awkward between us and my friends?
TL;DR: | Girl shows lots of interest in me when she's had a drink or two, but not when sober. Afraid of asking her out in case it damages relationship with myself and mutual friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16M] in Europe until the end of the month, ways to maintain relationship with my gf [17F]
POST: I've been in Europe with my family for about the past week and will be until the end of the month. The night before I left I hung out with this girl who I've had a crush on for a while and I could tell it was mutual. We had hung out a lot but for some reason I never took our relationship past hugging and we didn't start dating. That night we both had a great time and I finally kissed her but left it at that.
The next day while I was at the airport we were texting and I asked her about us and if she wants to start dating, I know bad timing and doing over text felt weird but since I wasn't gonna see her for 3 weeks it felt like it needed to be done. She said yes and we've been snapchating and texting pretty much non stop since or at least whenever the time difference doesn't get in the way.
I just feel like I should be doing more I don't really know what but I really like her and I tell her that a lot and see reciprocates but I just feel like I'm being too clingy even though she has repeatedly said she really like us talking like that. What are some thing I could say just to make her feel special and let her know I really care about her?
TL;DR: | Started dating a girl the day after I left for a 3 week vacation, need help keeping up our long distance relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Prior to our relationship, my boyfriend was a virgin and I was not. How do I help him feel better about this?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, two of which have been long distance. We fell passionately in love rather quickly with each other, I honestly couldn't ever see my life without him, he's my other half, my best friend, yadda yadda...
About two weeks into our relationship we partook in le sexy time. Back then, it was understood that he was not a virgin and it was easy for me to believe that since he was not bad by anyones standards. So I just went along with it and my love for him rapidly grew.
Just yesterday, he opened up to me and admitted that I took his virginity. It was a relief because it really made me uncomfortable not really knowing who he had been with. Knowing that his first time was with me was great news and I felt privileged. However, he also opened up to me saying that it hurts him knowing that I've been with two people before him. I've told him many times that those people don't matter and that he has my whole heart. But him knowing that he didn't take my virginity really hurts him. If you haven't caught on, he's a real old fashioned guy. He was saving his first for his future wife.
So, /r/AskReddit, what do I do? What can I say to make him feel better so he knows that he's the only special person in my life? Is there anything that I can do to show him that he's special? Any advice would be helpful.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend lost his virginity to me when I had been with two people prior to the relationship. He's upset and I need a way to show him that he's special to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: So i'm kinda shy about moving forward.
POST: Me: 20 Male - haven't been in a relationship before and am really interested
Her: 17 Female - Got out of a relationship a while ago (not to sure on dates but it has been some time)
Have known each other 3 months, but have been a lot closer over the past 2-3 weeks. (specially last week)
She is really smart, funny and can hold a conversation (which is extremely important for me) and there is the obvious physical attraction.
We have been hanging out recently, and as of the past 2 hang outs (at hers) I have been there past 12pm (no one else is home) and not that i would ever think of doing anything because thats just not me, she is touchy and affectionate, but not always initiating of the touching. We constantly chat and laugh about a relationship but never talk seriously about it.
As we work together, people have been spreading rumors and encouraging the whole relationship. I am unsure of whether to proceed! We text and fb regularly as well. I'm not sure if i am reading into this or not. I would definitely be keen for a relationship but what are some SOLID hints/tells i can get that will let me know she is keen. I.e. questions i can ask, boundaries which can be set etc.
TL;DR: | I'm keen, to shy to ask as I'm not sure if the feelings are reciprocated. Wants to find out how she feels without possible ruining a friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: My dad was told to quit his job since he was accepted at this other place, but they hired someone else.
POST: I really wasn't sure of what to title this, so I just tried to shorten the whole thing. I am also, not sure if this is the right subreddit. It seemed to fit.
The longer version of this is that my dad works, or *worked*, at a place selling motorcycles, atvs, jetskis, and the like. He was tired of this place cutting the things that originally attracted him to the place, and the rather familial nature of the employment, so he started looking elsewhere.
He found it at a Harley Davidson Motorcycle sales joint. Everything seemed great, and the employment basically told him that they liked him, they would hire him, and they just had to work some details out with corporation and he would be in. Half the week in, they tell him that he's good to go and quit his old job (short story of that, is that they were okay with him leaving earlier than his 2 weeks he put in early notice). So, basically they promised him the job and had him quit his only source of income.
Today, they told him he wasn't going to be hired, and they decided to lay off someone else in the company or somethin' like that, and they were hiring from within.
Is there something wrong with this? I feel like there should be Something wrong with that.
TL;DR: | or however you people say) New job says my dad is going to be hired--> Tells him to quit job --> 3 days later, tells him they are choosing to hire from within now, instead of him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [25 F] and I [26 M] have been in a 1.5 year long distance relationship and the physical attraction is fizzling due to weight gain
POST: We were forced to move to different states for school a year and a half ago. It has not been easy but we have made it work, and are in a committed relationship that is going to be longterm.
We are in love (and this does not change that), but I have found myself no longer physical attracted to my SO. She has gradually put on weight since the time we started dating, but much more so in our time apart. It's not stress or depression, and it's not a health risk... I'm just finding it hard to be excited to make out or have sex... and we only see each other for a weekend every other month.
Normally, I am sort of the more active one, so when we lived together, it was easy to get us out and about playing tennis/volleyball, swimming, or jogging. On her own, though, she would never consider those things over television.
This is probably a natural part of any relationship and it might even be more of a problem with my sense of what is "attractive". It is starting to have an effect though so i want to fix it. I just don't know how to bring it up because she is very sensitive about her looks.
TL;DR: | Long distance relationship. SO gains weight. Physical attraction slowing. Still love each other, but want to bring the spark back. Situation is made more difficult by long distance |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My[24F] boyfriend [M26] hasn't told me that he loves me yet. How am I going to celebrate Valentine's Day?
POST: I know this is a dumb question, but my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost six months now and he is my first relationship. Although it's evident that we like each other a lot, he still hasn't told me that he loves me. I have no problem with that, because I'd rather he tell it to me when he is ready, and I do feel that I love him so I have no problem of saying it to him, if ever. But with this Valentine's Day coming up and all the stuff that has "I love you" plastered on it, do I still have to celebrate it? I think it's kind of awkward that we're only at "I like you" when this holiday celebrates cheesy LOVE. I know, this is a first world problem. I'm curious as to how couples who got together without saying "ILY" yet did on VDay. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Boyf and I haven't said those three words, eight letters yet. Do I celebrate Valentine's Day or pretend to forget it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [25F] of 2 years, not feeling "it" anymore
POST: Hi all. I've been with my girlfriend for two years. It's my first major relationship out of high school/college. We have an apartment together with about 9 months left on the lease and we have a dog.
I've been relatively happy and whatnot but recently I've started feeling fairly indifferent towards the relationship. I feel like we don't really have a lot to talk about and she doesn't really want interactive conversations- she just wants me to listen.
I've been playing rec league softball with some friends from college and have become friends with a girl there that strikes me as so much more interesting and someone that I am much more excited about spending time with than my girlfriend. We haven't hung out outside of softball but I spend a lot of time thinking about her. I don't really want to have a relationship with this girl it just made me realize how uninterested I am in my current relationship.
I know my girlfriend will want to get married at some point in her life. I don't. I don't foresee this relationship lasting more than a year longer or so. I guess this makes me seem like kind of a bad person but I'm not sure how to approach the situation.
TL;DR: | How do you know if you should break up with someone with no external factors (cheating, job moving, abuse, etc.) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (26/f) fear that my boyfriend (28/m) will eventually end it to marry an Indian woman
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and it has been absolutely amazing. It's the healthiest, most supportive and fun relationship I've ever been in. I have never loved anyone more than I love him.
Because it's only been 6 months, we don't really talk about the future yet. We both agreed to focus on enjoying each other in the present moment. However, I love him so much and I sometimes get flooded with thoughts about marriage. I'm afraid to tell him because it's only been 6 months and I don't want to freak him out.
He is indian, not Indian american where marriage is more of a family decision than the individuals. This makes me really nervous.
He talks about moving back to India when he's in his 40's to be with his parents. Im even open to the idea of moving there with him, but sometimes I worry that the whole "let's focus on the present" attitude is code for "I don't want a long term commitment." I don't doubt that he loves me, but his parents are desperate for him to get married so I highly doubt he will end up as a life long bachelor type. I'm afraid he will eventually end it to pursue an Indian woman because there would be less resistance with his family.
I know I'm speculating a lot and that no one reading this can tell me what he is thinking, but I'm looking for ideas on how to approach the topic. I dont want to get married but I want to ask him if he sees me as part of his life in the longterm. It seems silly to wait until we've been together longer if he's going to tell me he doesn't want future plans with me. How do I bring it up in a way that doesn't scare or annoy him or ask too much of him?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend doesn't like talking about the future but I want to know if he sees me in it or secretly wants to marry an Indian girl to please his family. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] found pictures on computer of [24F] girlfriend of 7mo having sex with an ex-hookup. I want to forget them and it hurts to think about
POST: So this is going to be a weird one that I hope nobody else has to go through.
Back in May, I found pictures that she had sent to someone else (a guy she was hooking up with just before we met) of her posing naked. I told her that I didn't want these around any more because they made me feel like shit knowing that they were for him. I don't mind that she's been with other guys, I just don't like to think about it honestly. I didn't snoop through her things, they were blatantly obvious on her computer and she was there with me when I saw them. She felt bad and deleted them.
1 month ago, I found more pictures she had taken of herself in her iPhoto. This was 100% snooping and I feel bad about it. I asked her to delete those ones as well. I felt betrayed because I specifically asked her to look through all of her photos and delete any nudes that were taken before I met her. She agreed, and I admitted my snooping was wrong and I felt bad about it.
The thought of there being more photos that she hadn't deleted drove me crazy. I completely betrayed her trust and looked through her computer again. There were 4 photos of her having sex with her ex-hookup. I immediately felt absolute shit because I betrayed the trust I had gained back from her and made things absolutely awful for myself. I feel so awful and guilty and hate myself so much for doing this. I started crying and she walked in on me while it was happening. We talked about it for a while and she felt completely betrayed, which made me feel even worse and I'm sure made her feel awful. I want to forget this, I want to gain back her trust, I want to never see those images in my head ever again and it hurts a whole ton for the entire situation.
You can be harsh, I deserve every word of it.
TL;DR: | I'm a shit person for looking through my girlfriend's stuff and seeing pictures that I shouldn't have seen after I had asked her to go through everything and delete them all. How can I forget this and have a normal relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (26M) leave the country in six months and the girl (27F) I've dated for two months wants a relationship.
POST: I work abroad for the local government and have been dating this girl for the last two months. We met six months ago, but only really got to know one another rather recently.
There's no guarantee that we'll end up in the same place after her contract runs up and there's no telling what mental place we'll both be in a year and a half from now when she eventually returns to the states.
That being said, I've been getting a ton of pressure from her and our mutual friends to start a relationship with her, despite knowing it will end when I leave the country. I'm against relationships with a timer on them and I've had really bad experiences with long distance relationships. It's entirely a personal thing, I simply cannot handle them.
Our mutual friends seem to think that if I love her, I'll just suck it up and go into a relationship. She wants the title because we're in a relationship in everything but the name. I'm just trying to enjoy the time I have left with her without thinking about any of this.
The cause for me to doubt my stance is that I absolutely love this woman. I've never clicked so quickly or easily with anyone before in my life. We love the same things, our personalities mesh, we can spend a ridiculous amount of time in one another's company without encroaching on each other's space simply because we both require the same kind of "alone time". Basically, we both feel like we can engage in our normal decompressing hobbies while in one another's company and still have it feel like we're doing it completely alone.
I can play games, read, draw, browse Reddit, or what have you, and still feel like I'm recharging my introverted batteries and she feels the exact same way with me. This is huge to both of us.
We both agree we fit in wonderful ways we never thought was possible and the only thing we're divided on is the title. She wants to be in a relationship, even if it'll end in six months. Whereas I don't feel comfortable starting something we both know will end relatively soon.
Am I just feeling afraid of something I shouldn't fear?
TL;DR: | Girl I'm dating wants the title of a relationship despite the fact I'm going to leave in half a year and is pressuring me alongside our mutual friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving a women unaccompanied in my place
POST: So, I had a girl sleepover which I have been seeing since the end of September. I woke up a bit early and decided to play some computer games with my cousin. I got stuck in an hour long match and before it finished I just got a sudden feeling to go check on her. I found her sitting on my bed and she immediately asked me who owned the pair of underwear that she found.
On Thursday I had my cleaning lady over to pick my house. She ended up going into my spare room apparently and found a pair of women's underwear and put them on the top of my dirty clothes in that room and I didn't notice.
These underwear are from before we got together but this cleaning lady screwed me over. She also apparently threw out a bag that had our two boxes of condoms in it. The girl I was seeing was already asking me where the condoms were and I was just telling her that the cleaning lady probably threw them out.
Needless to say, after finding the underwear, she immediately thought I had seen another woman when she wasn't there. I could not find a good way to really explain the situation in a way that sounded believable. It was one of those weird scenarios where several things piled up and made me look guilty of something when I truly didn't do anything wrong. Very frustrating.
TL;DR: | don't let girls walk around your house when you aren't watching them (or don't be lazy and clean your own house) |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are some common courtesy things you feel more people should do.
POST: I was helping a friend out with shingling his roof, not expecting anything out of it, it was just something i knew they needed finished in the day, seeing as it was going to be 15 degrees and snowing the next day (it was 52 and sunny that day). When all was said and done he said thanks and we shook hands, there happens the drug exchange type of money between hands. I said you Thanks, and just slipped it in my back pocket without looking at the amount, as i would have considered it rude if I were to look at the amount, as if i was judging if it was enough for the labor i did.
TL;DR: | got paid for something i wasnt expecting to, didn't look at the amount given as I consider it rude to judge any amount of money given to you by someone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [27f] I'm still regretting breaking up a year later [27m]
POST: We hadn't been together very long (only about 4 months or so), but we really clicked. We both had very strong feelings for each other and just loved to spend time together. He's an incredibly fun, kind, and loving person, and he brought out the best in me.
I've been known to have some pretty intense emotional swings and was doing pretty well until I had a physical injury that kept me from being as active as I wanted to be. That's when the depression really started to creep back in, and, despite me knowing better, I took it out on him. My temper started getting short, little things would annoy the crap out of me, and I eventually broke things off with him in a very rash decision.
I've since moved and am living a few states away now. But it's a year later, and I still think about him. I think about him a lot. I've gone on a few dates in my new city, but no one really compares to him. He and I have kept in touch a little, just a few messages and emails here and there. I don't know if he's seeing anyone else or even really cares to talk to me beyond the superficial "how ya doing".
But I feel like I should apologize. I got to be such an unhappy person and never really explained to him my past issues with depression. It upsets me that I hurt him, but I don't want it to come off like I'm blaming my bad behavior on something I had no control over.
Should I do it? Or just leave him alone? Is it selfish of me to bring it up again if it's a year later and he may have already gotten over it?
Has anyone else gone through a similar experience? What did you do? And how did it pan out for both of you?
Thanks for any advice/help you can give me!
TL;DR: | stupidly broke up with an awesome guy a year ago - should I reach out to apologize and tell him I still have feelings for him?*** |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm 24, I've been kicked out of college twice, and I want a job that has . Is engineering school for me?
POST: I went to a college-prep high school where it was assumed you'd go on to college after graduating. I cheated my way through all of high school and only completed math homework, but managed to graduate with a 3.7. I got a scholarship to a university where I spent 2.5 years touring the local scene with my band, smoking weed, and skipping class because "I'll just study on my own and show up to the final." (I followed through on this only once, and I failed the final). I then spent about a year at home trying to figure out my direction. I settled on mechanical engineering because in college the only classes I participated in were Calculus (and Music Theory, but there aren't any jobs for Music majors) and I like to make stuff. I did one semester but hated it so I dropped out.
At this point I just want a degree that gives me a job where I make ~$45k-50k out of school and where I have enough free time to pursue music outside of work. Ideally, my degree would give me a basis for going into a field where I can work with audio, guitar effects, amps, or soundproofing. I'm leaning towards electrical engineering (shorthand: EE) because guitar effects, amps, and recording equipment all require EE knowledge.
TL;DR: | I have a poor academic history and want a job that will give me a basis for working in the sound field; is EE for me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [45 M] with my ex-gf [40 F] together 4 years, we just broke up, today's is her birthday... say anything?
POST: We were together 4 years, even thinking to tie the knot eventually, but things fell apart this year and she left almost a month ago. Now its over and its been more or less a clean break, except for the fact that I'll probably see her at least once more as she still has some things to collect from my home. Anyway I've been trying to be strong and go my own way, but today is her birthday. Maybe I'm a sap but I thought to text her happy birthday. I'm not sure if that's a good idea though. I mean, I loved her and cared about her for so long it feels weird to not even acknowledge her birthday at all. But then again, I'm not sure why I feel compelled to do so and part of me isn't sure it is a good idea. It seems like a possible nice gesture but I don't know what I'd stand to gain as I'm sure we aren't going to pursue a future together.
TL;DR: | We broke up and she moved out a month back, today's her birthday - send a birthday wish or try to ignore it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking NyQuil and having a dog
POST: I've got a nasty cold and sore throat so I've been drinking a lot of water and juice. Being sick and slightly feverish I put off going to the bathroom because I didn't want to get up. The NyQuil kept me asleep too long.
Finally mother nature would be denied no longer. I got up and opened the door in a hurry. I was already moving forward when I glimpsed my senior dog sleeping across the doorway. I swung my leg high and kept going forward, stretching to get over her body (a daily maneuver because she loves to sleep where she is always in the way). I gasped as this was happening because she woke up and started to move. The gasp caught in my snot-clogged throat which IMMEDIATELY made me COUGH. My bladder could not take the pressure and I pissed on my dog as I stumbled over her.
I am female and I was wearing a pair of thin pajama shorts, so the spurt like poured right on her. I just kept going and ran to the toilet.
The worst part is the way my dog is looking at me now. I've told her a hundred times not to lay at the end of the hallway. It's dark, she's all black, I've tripped over her many times in the last 14 years. She probably thinks I finally put my foot down about it. She is sleeping on her dog bed now.
TL;DR: | In a rush to the bathroom with an overfull bladder, I coughed and accidentally pissed on my dog when I was trying to step over her. Now she's looking at me funny. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: How do I deal with a mean / angry / scared cat?
POST: So late last night my neighbor knocked on my door and told me she saw a cat on the loose. We live in a condo complex with a lot of people, so I'm positive it's someone's pet...we ALSO live in coyote territory so it's not uncommon for cats to disappear.
I didn't want that to happen to someone's pet so we caught the cat...he / she came right up to me for some pets and treats...so I picked him / her up and put her inside our cat carrier and brought her into our bathroom.
Now, naturally this cat is pretty pissed and pretty scared. I let it out of the cat carrier and it scampered behind the toilet and start hissing at us. We decided to move it to another bathroom but getting it BACK into the cat carrier was a nightmare! We eventually had to use a broom to push it back and I felt AWFUL about it...
...but to be honest, I'm not a cat guy and I'm not looking to get bit.
How do I deal with this angry cat? It's not totally terrified of me, I've set it up with food and water and a litter box...it let's me get close, but hisses when I get my hand near it. I'm in the process of putting up "FOUND" posters and I'm going to the animal shelter today to ask them some questions...I'm definitely not looking to keep a cat for an extended period of time.
Any thoughts on how to NOT get bit by this cat during this process?
TL;DR: | Found a cat in our condo complex, caught it, it's angry and scared and hissy. How do I deal with it...? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Weird NSV- my feet?!
POST: I had to dress up today and wore a pair of wedges that I love. It was not as hard to put them on (less belly fat I guess?) and they did not take any tugging on the straps to get them buckled (less ankle/foot fat?!) On top of that, when I was wearing them, my toes didn't look like little sausages shoved in a cute shoe, and there was no squeezing going on! They looked CUTE?!? I have always been self conscious about my feet because I have short toes, but I guess when they look less like little smokies and more like toes, there is nothing I should be ashamed of! YAY!
Thank you all again for your support always!
TL;DR: | My feet look cute in strappy wedges and not like they are sausages stuffed in a tiny jail cell! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hi Reddit - I am a Scientist in industry with a Bachelors but currently 1/2 way through my Masters. Is it worth it to finish?
POST: Hi guys. I currently work for a small pharmaceutical company and make a great living... but before I nabbed this position I had already started a night time masters program in Pharmacology. My question is, do you think it's worth finishing the program even though I have a great job in industry? My company pays for up to 5K a year in tuition reimbursement (provided I stay there for 1.5 years after finishing each semesters coursework, or else I must pay it back). This still leaves me paying about 4K/year for a degree that I feel may not further my career. I've seen lots of scientists move up to higher positions without having a higher degree. There's also a chance I may pursue my PhD at some point in the future. Help Reddit!!!!
TL;DR: | Have a good industry job that pays part of my Masters Degree (Pharmacology) tuition, but it still requires money out of my pocket. In context of the science-world, is it worth it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've (27M) been having a hard time being intimate with my gf (23F)
POST: We've been dating for close to a year now, but due in part to stressful situations in our respective lives, we've broken up twice in that time (for roughly there weeks each time). Since we've been back the second time (about three months) intimacy, and more specifically sex, has been a commodity. I try to engage her but I don't usually get very far. I understand that at this stage in life I'm probably going to have a higher sex drive than her, but since we built back to the having sex part of the relationship we've been averaging at best once every other week. I've expressed my unhappiness with the current state of our intimacy and she understands to an extent but it hasn't gotten any better. Foreplay isn't the problem, I might even like it more than she does. She has told me that beyond this, I should put forth more effort and make attempts at seducing her. I kind of know what she means but still I feel pretty in the dark. I mean, I just try so hard, and this is putting a lot of unnecessary stress on our relationship. Has anyone experienced anything like this and gotten through it? I really need help here, guys. I love this girl very much and I truly believe she lives me too, but we're planning to move to a new city soon and I have to see this get better before it's too late and I'm committed to something that might in the long run be bad for both of us.
TL;DR: | Sex isn't everything but it's definitely a thing. Me and my gf can't seen to get back to the sexual relationship we once had. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What do you do when you're bored?
POST: I'm not a person who typically gets bored. I live in a big city and there's always something to do. But I have been hired to babysit an antisocial teenager in a small country suburb for a week while her father is out of town. It's a Saturday night, the teenager is asleep, and I am stuck inside this house. There are no arts and crafts here and no instruments. I stupidly didn't bring any books, I don't play video games (nor do they have any), and I have already watched hours of Netflix and spent many more hours on reddit. I hung out in the hot tub for a while, I meditated, and I have cooked a lot of food. I have spent hours on OKCupid browsing people around the world to potentially talk to, but to no avail. I have a job application I'm working on, but the application site is under maintenance so I can't do that either. Also, I napped several hours today while the teenager was at Saturday school, so I'm not tired. I also spent hours playing with the refrigerator word magnets until I used up over 90% of them to make a comprehensive poetry crossword puzzle.
TL;DR: | I'm bored for the first time in years and have very limited resources. What do you do when you've exacerbated all your normal boredom-prevention activities? Or what are your unique boredom-prevention activities? |
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