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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I do something or just wait for things to calm after a discussion with my GF.
POST: Hello all, I'm a male and we both are 18 years old. We have been together for 1 year and 9 months with no complications so far besides the occasional argument. I'm in a happy relationship with lots of communications and general well being, she is also my classmate.
My question is regarding an event that happened today.
A new school year recently started and we both got to be partners in class for a course she has some difficulties understanding. Before the new year started, she asked me if I could help her with whatever doubt she might have. I naturally said yes.
The problem is that today I tried helping her two times, both times didn't go so well... In the first I thought she made a mistake so I asked her to correct it but afterwards, in the correction, it seems she was right all along. The second time she required help (I, in order to avoid having the same "douchey" feel as in the first time) made a quick reading of what she had made and found no mistakes so I said she was 100% correct. Afterwards, thinking she had it right, volunteered to correct that exercise in the board, which proved to have some errors that made her feel "dumb" in front of the class.
Least to say she became disappointed and a bit sad with me because I, that promised I would help her, did nothing but handicap her so far.
While we do talk it is visible she is upset/angry with me, which of course, makes me feel like shit. Seeing your loved one disappointed with you.
We are now only together on Friday morning.
I think I could say that after the class ended we talked about what happened, I told her I'm sorry for being such an unhelpful person and that I would not let her down again.
I don't know if I should make contact with her tomorrow to see if everything is alright or if I should give her time to be in a better mood by Friday.
TL;DR: | Made my GF feel like a dumb person after trying to help her twice, naturally she is upset with me. Should I do something or let her forget it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: LDR with red flags III: I'm [23F] not doing well after splitting with abusive partner [23M].
POST: [First post.](
TL;DR: | My mind's been shattered after leaving abusive partner, and I don't know how to start to pick up the pieces. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] doesn't realize that my friend [21 M] likes her more than a friend
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost 3 years now. During that time one of my best friends (has only known my GF for 1.5 years) has slowly moved farther away from me and closer to her. She considers him one of her best friends, and he considers her his best friend. Usually I would not care about this, but he has made some very questionable inappropriate actions and comments towards my girlfriend (now his best friend). At friendly events, he will follow her around constantly, ignoring everyone else in the house for hours. I try to point out some actions of him grazing her boob or putting his hands on my girlfriend's waist but my girlfriend thinks they are harmless and doesn't acknowledge them.
Another thing that bothers me is the fact that my girlfriend compares me to my own friend all the time. That can really get on my nerves, as I would never compare her to any other person I have dated before. She'll ask why my apartment is not as clean as my friend's, why I can't cook like him, don't drive like him, etc.
One thing that sticks with me is the way he has describes things with her very sexually when she isn't around for our conversation. A couple of weeks ago he described a harmless situation like her leaning over him to grab something. He described it as visually getting a blowjob from her, and if anyone else was around, they would have thought it a sexual favor was being preformed. My girlfriend really values her relationship with my friend, and every effort that I put in to warn her of his actions, she throws it under the table. I don't know what to feel about it. The more time progresses, the more I get uncomfortable with the situation.
I'm not sure how I can bring this all up without seeming jealous of him, or immature. These feel like legitimate concerns to me, although maybe they aren't. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is best friends with my friend. I believe he is making advances on her, but every time I tell her she thinks it is out of jealousy. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I'm Australian. If I was in the U.S., would I still be alive?
POST: Hey Reddit. So I've thought for a while about doing an AMA about being "The luckiest person to have been born in Australia." I follow the U.S. politics with some interest and can't keep myself from noticing how unfortunate I'd be if I were in your country. I come from a very poor background (highest crime rate in the country where I grew up), have always worked in the public/NGO sector, and have always relied on social welfare. I am not a "bludger," though - I have nearly completed my Masters degree, and the exceptional hard work of both my parents has put us firmly in the middle class. I think my life is perhaps the best argument I could make to an American citizen for a better social welfare system.
I'll save the details for the AMA if I do it, but most the most striking example is that when I was two years old I suffered from renal failure and had to be under intensive care for some months. The bill came out to be about three times the value of my parents house -- but it was covered entirely by the Australian public health system. At the time, my parents had no private health, didn't own their own home, and were both low-paid public sector employees. Even a low-interest loan would have been completely out of the question.
TL;DR: | When I was 2, I suffered renal failure and cost the public health system ~$80,000 (in late 80s dollars). In America, would I still be alive, and if so, who would've foot the bill? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23m] best friend [20F] is indirectly preventing me from finding someone else.
POST: I've known her for over a year and a half and we hang out almost everyday. We have helped each other with depression the entire time. She's been in a failing long distance on/off relationship the whole time and I feel like I emotionally helped her cheat (not on purpose). On one of their 'breaks", I asked her out and she stalled and said "I don't know" and eventually said no. Later she said I had a chance. That was 9 months ago and she's still has yet to permanently break it off (shes technically single).
The problem I have is she makes all other girls look like shit to me because her and I are extremely compatible and she has everything I want in a girl. I'm not in love with her but I want to move on. I feel like I need to distance myself but she's depressed and I'm one of her only friends and I probably wouldn't even be here today without her. I can't just abandon her. I want a girlfriend but I haven't found anyone close to the kind of connection I have with her. I would date her but I can tell she doesn't feel the same about me. I don't know how to handle this
TL;DR: | My female best friend is so perfect for me that it makes all my other connections with girls seem shitty. She's unavailable and very depressed so I can't distance myself or ask her out. Should I tell her this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Have I [18 F] fallen out of love with my boyfriend [23 M]?
POST: This is one of those things I daren't say out loud because even thinking it makes me want to vomit.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. Now a year might not be a lot to some people but I feel like him and I have gone through more in those 12 months than a lot of couples do in 5 years. We moved in together very quickly and we have a lovely apartment together and we visit his family on weekends and we have shared interests. People have referred to our relationship as "goals" and even my mum approves.
I doubt I'll ever be able to find anyone half as suited to me as he is. He treats me very well and we have a lot in common. If the question was simply "is this the ideal partner for me" then there would be no question at all. He's an absolutely lovely human being and any girl either be lucky to have him.
But here's the catch; I don't think I love him anymore. Not in that way. Of course I love him as a human being and there's never going to be a day when I'm not going to care about him. But..
I've been going crazy on him for months now. The tiniest things set me off into uncontrollable rage. I'm beginning to hate his family that are always failing to mind their own business. I don't feel as horny around him anymore. I look at apartments every day. I look at other men. I resent him for thinking I'm his mother and making me clean and cook after him.
Yes, I have tried talking to him. But nothing has really come of it.
Maybe the question should be how to come to terms with the, rather than "have we fallen out of love" because I feel like I've answered that one already.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is beginning to bring out the worst in me. Have I fallen out of love with him or do adults normally work through stuff like this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (19M) am stuck between not wanting to hurt my gf(18) but also not seeing a future for us anymore as well I have started feeling for someone else.
POST: I am a 19 y/o sophomore in college. I have a gf of about 4 months, but I am just not feeling the connection that I thought I would. In the beginning I thought I was going to really care for her, and one point I had started to. However now I just don't feel as connected to her. We don't have a lot in common, and we just can't talk about much. My problem begins here and is added onto by the fact that, although we don't have much in common, I am very good at calming her down and comforting her when she is feeling low. I have no hard feelings and harbor no resentment about this. In fact I am happy to be her anchor. I just don't feel for her romantically like I thought I would. I know things about her and know she needs someone like me to be at her side, and I can do that, but I can not keep on with the romantic charade. Especially when now as of lately, against my hopes, I have started to develop feelings for someone else. I know this other person well and can definitively say that I have a much stronger connection with her. The advice I need is what should I do? Do I continue and try to make my current relationship work in the hopes that I will eventually find that connection. Or do I talk to her about and try to end it peacefully. I don't want my current to feel like I am just playing her for a fool, I just really don't want to break her. Also, I don't necessarily plan on pursuing this other interest if I break up with my current. I just know having other feelings is going to make it difficult to develop for her. If it seems like I am lacking information here please let me know.
TL;DR: | I don't love the person I am with but don't want to break her heart because of it. Pretty damn cliche honestly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Career options with Medical Science degree?
POST: ~I posted this in r/findapath originally but thought here could be useful too~
Hi, I'm in my first year of a medical science degree (BScHons) in the UK. The problem is this course is set up to support to become a researcher but the more I've thought about this the less appealing it has become. I feel like I'll achieve a 2:2 or a 2:1 if I push myself (which is hard as I'm lacking motivation). I really LOVE dogs and would love a chance to have a career involving them but I realise a lot of these jobs would not give a decent income for supporting a family or even just buying my own dogs. Would it be best to just get a dry office graduate job with good pay? And what types of jobs would medical science get me?
TL;DR: | Medical science first year, not interested in research but loves dogs. Needs money for dogs though, what are my best options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My Grandad is cheating on my Grandma while she was in hospital. What should we do reddit?
POST: Throw Away acct...
About four months ago my grandmother went into the hospital for triple bypass surgery. She suffered a stroke while in the hospital and was a vegetable for a few weeks. She progressed very quickly and was able to talk and move around after a few more weeks. She has since moved back home and is recovering very nicely, although with a slight lack of mental thoughts, but it is getting better.
Meanwhile my grandfather started to hang out with a woman from his church after the incident. They started hanging out all the time, I instantly suspected something. Anyways long story short my mom checked his emails and sure enough they were having an affair. With really cheesy lines like "you sure know how to lay pipe" and "come over and keep me with warm old man". My grandad is 83 and his mistress is 58. He has been buying her all sorts of crap and spending all my grandmothers money while she's recovering.
We know he visits her and we have all kinds of evidence to support it. What should we do about confrontation? Or tactics to get back at the bitch who he's seeing.
TL;DR: | Grandad is cheating w/ a women from his church after my grandmother suffered a stroke after surgery and is slowly recovering. How should we respond? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By losing $370 in virtual money
POST: Well, I am a gamer you can say and I play this one game called CS:GO where you can have really expensive skins ranging from 0-1000 Dollars and they are basically a bragging right to say the least. So anyways you can gamble on sites with the skins and necessarily double the amount of money in skins you have if you win. So I being the smartass I was won so much it topped my highest inventory value, here is tifu I went in 100 times and didn't win a single pot and brought my entire inventory back to 0. It wouldn't have been as bad, but since I had that inventory since it was only worth 30 dollars.
TL;DR: | I was up a crap ton of money, put it all in out of rage lost it all and I am now debating what to do to make it back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My best friend is better than me [19 f]
POST: Hey reddit! So I would like to ask for some advice, and though it sounds stupid and childish hear me out.
I'm a junior at a college where I study Spanish. My best friend is a biology major and she's brilliant. We've been friends for a couple years and we're very close now. Unfortunately there are some things that bother me with having a friend like her. She [20 f] is very beautiful- her face, figure, just everything. I am simply not like that. I am a very plain girl. She also gets along with every friend I have ever introduced her to. Though these seem like good qualities (because she truly is kind smart and pretty) the thing is that she can be arrogant about it. Simple phrases like "you can't take a bad picture of me" or "I have so many guys are after me" are rude and annoying. She has a boyfriend at home who is in the Marines so she hardly sees/talks to him. She says she cares about him as a friend and doesn't want to break up with him because he's too obsessed with her. This is so frustrating especially when all of my guy friends say to me "hey can you hook me up with her?". Not to mention if I try to hang out with a guy to date..they always want to date her instead.
In the best ways she is a great friend.. but otherwise it's really bothersome to me For her to act like this. We're always together and our friends are mutual. Is it bad I wish she wasn't so perfect?
TL;DR: | my beat friend is perfect, and can be arrogant about it. This bothers me a lot and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Russian Blue appropriate for mild allergies? How about a mix?
POST: So I have (I'm pretty sure) mild allergies around cats. Basically my eyes will start getting kind of itchy if I'm around a cat for a couple hours. My girlfriend and I went to a cat cafe in New York City once, and within an hour my eyes got extremely itchy and I was rubbing them constantly. It got better when I made it a point not to touch my eyes though. When I slept on the floor of a friend's apartment who had a cat, it took a while for my eyes to get itchy, but eventually they did. It was bearable, but a little uncomfortable. I have no respiratory symptoms whatsoever, and it doesn't happen every time I'm around cats, but it usually does.
Now my girlfriend would really like to own a cat one day, and we've also been talking about moving in together in the future. She doesn't want to get a cat if it's possible I'm allergic though, but I feel bad because I know she'd really like one.
I've been reading up on allergies, and I've read that with proper cleaning and the right breed I can probably be mostly fine. Many years ago I decided I really liked the idea of a Russian Blue, because I find their coats really beautiful, and apparently they are especially friendly cats. To my surprise I found out that they're considered somewhat hypoallergenic! For my symptoms would that be a good choice?
One issue though: we've always wanted to rescue from a shelter, rather than get from a breeder or something, and a russian blue from a shelter will probably be next to impossible. All of the ones I'm seeing online are probably domestic shorthair mixes, or worse, some other breed entirely. My question is, would a mix be okay for my mild allergies? Or should I be looking into something else entirely?
TL;DR: | I'm concerned about allergies, so I'm considering a more hypoallergenic breed. Will a mix be good enough though? Or should I be considering other options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17/F] with the child I babysit [5 M], having an issue with inappropriate touching and how to approach it with parents.
POST: Long story short, I've been babysitting this boy for about a year now on and off. He's a sweet, very energetic kid, and his parents live in a very affluent neighborhood so it pays fairly well.
The issue is, the past few times I've been asked to watch him he's been very physically grabby, often in inappropriate places. He'll follow me around while smacking my butt and laughing or grab my boobs when we're wrestling. I've told him that it's not nice to touch people there and told him to please stop, in which case he usually does, and says sorry, but might pick it up again when I see him again. It does make me uncomfortable but a) I'm not sure if it's truly inappropriate in a child's eyes or if he's just being silly and b) I feel like it's not my place to discipline him for it in place of his parents.
Is this worth bringing up with the parents? Or should I just continue to gently chastise him if the behavior continues and be adamant that he should stop from here on out?
TL;DR: | boy I babysit likes to grab my boobs and butt, I reprimand him but don't take consequences any further than that. Should I approach the parents and if so, how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking my dog to boarding
POST: I take my puppy to board at the vet since she has health issues. My dog LOVES the vet. She loves every person there and gets really really excited.
So while I am waiting to check her in and verifying all the info she tangles the leash around my arm, which is normal. Then my little 30 pound dog tries to jump on to the 4 foot counter they have. Obviously she didn't make it all the way up. Her front paws made it up and she fell onto her back. Since the leash was tangled around my arm and I already have shoulder problems, she ended up dislocating my shoulder when she fell.
The vet then brought me back to a room and brought my dog back to the kennel to be boarded. The vet then came in and put my shoulder back in place for me. So I had my own vet appointment and I am human.
TL;DR: | Dog dislocated my shoulder. Vet had to put it back in for me. Basically I had a vet appointment for myself. Not sure how to feel about this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Amazon universal wishlist alternatives? Do you have any experience with MyRegistry, wishbin, whimventory, wishpot, etc.?
POST: My family and friends use Amazon's wishlists as sources for gifts for one another. I've become dissatified with Amazon's Universal Wishlist feature now that I am trying to add digital media from third-party websites and hard-to-find collectibles to it. As it turns out, it is difficult to get Amazon to display a die-cast voltron figure from the 80s that I have wanted since I was four in case my mother comes across one at a flea market when there isn't a store with a steady supply of them. Or, say, an album I want from the Nonesuch Records website, specifically in the FLAC version. Or even THE DAMNED MYTHBUSTERS VIDEOS THAT AMAZON THEMSELVES SELL.
Here are the sites I have found thus far. Any experience with any of the following sites? Other, better options?
[Wishpot](
[Myregistry](
[Wishbin](
[Whimventory](
TL;DR: | I am tired of Amazon's wishlist. Do you have any experience with any of the obove sites or other suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (22M) with friend (21F) who used to be sweet and compassionate but suddenly acts distant and cold.
POST: I met her about 8 months ago and ever since we've been talking on a pretty much daily basis. We used to be very close and we've told eachother very personal things. Recently however whenever I tried to initiate contact (texting/skype) she's just given very generic replies and cuts the conversations short. She's been hanging out alot another friend of ours. All 3 of us used to do alot of things together but lately I've just been cut out, whenever we do meetup (usually a bigger group) she pretty much acts like I'm not there and it's killing me.
I don't think I've done anything to wrong her in any way so I'm completely lost to why she's acting like this. I miss the girl she used to be, I miss how we used to interact and I want nothing more than to go back to that. Is there any hope for that? Is there anything I can do to achieve that? I realize friendships come and go but this is one I'd like to save, for as long as possible.
TL;DR: | Used to be on great terms with close friend but she suddenly acts distant and cold. How do I get us back to where we were? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [M22] help my girlfriend [F21] to get over retrospective jealousy?
POST: I am 22, she is 21, and we have been together for a year. Also we are in a LDR. She is living in America, I live in Europe.
Before we met we lived our lives differently. She grew up in a christian house, she always wanted to keep her virginity for the one she marries, and lived her life accordingly. However she is sexually active, which means she has done everything before me except sex.
Me on the other hand didn't grow up with the same values. I didn't believe in a religion and I didn't wait with sex. I had 3 previous partners, 2 of them were not in a relationship. We also started having sex 7 months into our relationship.
We are really great together, I love her and she is the most precious girl in my life. However we have a problem and it is my past. She feels that she has been waiting for no reason and sort of resenting me for that. She obsesses about my past partners and can't let them go. I don't know how can I help her to let this go and accept me as I am.
What can I do?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend obsesses about my past, jealous about the fact that I have been with more people than her and can't accept me as I am. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [26/m] My partner [24/f] doesn't associate intimacy with sex, any similar experiences / advice?
POST: So a little background, we've been seeing each other for nearly a year. Get on well in most aspects of life, but have differing approaches to sex.
I like giving and seeing my partner in pleasure primarily, feeling it my self generally is second on the list of importance. I find this intimate, the having someone be vulnerable to me and being vulnerable to them.
Whilst I would associate a good feeling with something that is to be continued and made to build and this be something intimate
She on the other hand views things in a different light, she likes to have things be unexpected when it comes to sexual contact, not surprised, but teased and denied, which it's self is something that I'm not used to.
Also she doesn't feel intimacy from sex, she likes to cuddle at times and hang out around each other. She'll fall asleep in the crook of my neck and all that stuff so it's not that there is a lack of intimacy in our relationship.
She has stated that one day she might get to merging the two things but at the moment that isn't on the cards.
She has a pretty low sex drive as it is which is something we are both actively working towards getting balanced between our wants.
My question is: Does anyone have any similar experience, or any advice of things to read, places to learn from for me to understand her position more?
Or any advice of where to look on enhancing and expanding my views on sex to incorporate her's?
TL;DR: | gf doesn't feel intimacy during sex, prefers to be teased and denied rather than my usual experience of slow building. Looking for advice on both the emotional side and the physical side. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Someone is threatening me over the phone. What should I do?
POST: So this one person who I JUST met 2 weeks ago lent me $25. He says he is coming to "get me." He claims I better have $45 "or else." I clearly remember telling him that I was getting paid this Friday and that he would have to wait 3 weeks (i just started a new job), however he claims he "can't wait any longer."
To be honest, I feel threatened as hell. #1 i don't have the money to pay him (I only have $20 to my name and my gas tank is empty). and #2 he might know where I live. I have no idea.
What should I do Reddit?
TL;DR: | some guy i just met is coming to get me for money I owe him when I had already promised to pay him this coming friday |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[26/F] with my boyfriend [28M] been together 6 months. I don't think he is as invested in our relationship as I am.
POST: Maybe I am just being ridiculous but I am consistently getting these feelings that my boyfriend isn't as into the relationship as I am and it is driving me crazy. My previous boyfriends have always been so loving and affectionate and there was never a moment when I even questioned or doubted their true love for me. This situation, however, feels different. While he does tell me he loves me and we have talked about marriage and kids and all that jazz, I just don't get the feeling it's true love for him.
For instance, the other day, he was on call for work and had just finished up a job. i asked if he wanted to hang out and he said yes, so I went over to his house. He was washing the dishes so I sat outside on his patio and waited for him to finish. 10 minutes comes and goes and he hasn't come outside yet. I walk inside and he's sitting on the couch watching TV and texting one of his friends. That really hurt my feelings so I said I was just going to go home. I didn't hear from him until 5-6 hours later that day. It was like he was indifferent to my presence.
Another example: we hadn't seen each other all day and he comes over later that night. We sit on the couch and he immediately gets on his phone and starts facebooking.
Am I being a dumb girl or are these legitimate concerns of mine? What should I do about it? I have confronted him about similar situations in the past and he always brushes it off like it's not a big deal and I am being silly or "throwing a fit". It bothers me when he says this to me and I tell him. He'll apologize but it doesn't seem to change.
I really love him and I want this to work but I can't keep dealing with this kind of behavior. So, what would you do if you were in my shoes?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend isn't as affectionate and loving as I'd like him to be and I don't know what to do about it! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [19F] can't get over her ex [17M] for over a year...
POST: So I really need help, and I am really asking for a friend.
My friend and I, we'll call her P, is really really stuck on her ex boyfriend (who we'll call J). They dated for about 5 months in high school, when she was a junior and he was a freshman, yet there wasn't a lot of intimacy. He ended it, and obviously she was upset. The problem is, it's almost two years after the breakup, and she still can't get over him.
I'm worried for her. I understand what they say about first loves, but I'm not sure what to tell her anymore. She says she still misses him and would take him back, but he's just not interested. She's in college now, where she could meet tons of other potential partners, but she refuses to let anyone in because she can't get over J.
I would just appreciate some advice on what to tell her, and how to help her move on, because it isn't healthy to be stuck on someone for this long.
TL;DR: | Friend is really stuck on an ex boyfriend she dated almost two years ago. Looking for advice on how to get her to finally move on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my best friend [21 F] of 5 years, don't know what to do about her neglecting to tell me crucial information when we plan to hang out
POST: Actually I'm not really sure if she's my best friend anymore. Long story short, she and I made plans to go to a viewing party together for a video game. This was around 2 weeks ago and I just thought it was going to be the two of us since she didn't mention anything about any more people.
Today she messages me about what we want to do before the viewing which is held at 9 pm. I talk about dining and she says she also wants to go out for smoothies, so that's 3 separate locations already, and while they are not far away, it is hard to find parking on a Saturday night. She says someone is driving her. I was like "ok, its just one more person whatever." So I ask her if its alright for me just to carpool for the restaurant and smoothie place since they are not far apart and it would be a waste to use up gas and we don't really need to drive separately. This is where she casually mentions their whole car is full (5 people) and maybe her friend has space in the back or something.
Note all of the people she is bringing are people I don't know at all. I just feel a bit left out for being the only person to drive on my own and I'm kind of mad that she didn't tell me ANY of this until the day before the event. Along with this, I asked if I was driving by myself, if they could mention which restaurant they would go to, but she couldn't name one either. I sent her a message saying its not cool to do this and that while I don't mind the extra company, its not cool to bring in a ton of people at the last moment without telling.
Is my response justified or am I too harsh/lenient? :I
Thanks!
TL;DR: | Friend is bring 4 extra people to an event we planned to go to without telling me until the day before the event. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [Help]A bit of a moving situation, not sure what my options are.
POST: Warning: Novel ahead.
I'm at college and living in my college town, two hours away from home. My dad is trying to move/sell our house back home. He told me a few weeks ago, months after I signed a lease out here where I can't have pets, that I needed to 'find something to do with the dog' soon, as it will be hard to sell the place with George (my dog) there. I don't think that's true, but that's not really the point here. My dad has finally stopped pushing 'just get rid of him' on me, thankfully, and has started trying to help me find a temporary placement for him, but I know a lot of foster homes are shelter-animals-only type deals.
Right now, best case scenario would be me finding someone to foster him until my lease here is up and I can get somewhere that will allow pets. Worst case, I have a few great dane rescues I'm looking in to, but it would crush me to give my big baby up. He was my mom's & my dog, and my mom passed away a bit over two years ago. I can't lose my Georgie to something as stupid as moving.
He's neutered, current on all his shots, somewhere around 4-6 years old (we don't know for sure, we're not the original owners) and a big goofball. If someone could take him in until I can get into a lease somewhere that will allow pets (hoping for June 1 on that front. I've found a place that will allow him there, I just can't afford to live and pay double rent there right now), I would be willing to pay for food, and (if they were reasonably close) take care of walks and playtime and all that; I just can't have him living with me right now.
Aside from surrendering him to a great dane rescue, some of which won't take him since he's not full dane, what are my options? I've looked into long term boarding, and I simply can't afford it, at least the ones I've found so far.
TL;DR: | My dad is moving, doesn't want to or can't take my dog, and I'm at college about to start a lease in which I can't have my dog. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you ever get "inception style" notions that you just can't shake? What do you do about it?
POST: So this may sound silly, but the other day someone asked "what is you plan B if things don't pan out" and my quick off the top of my head answer was "Forget this whole computer geek thing and go to law school". The thing is, that 's completely unlike me. I'm 27, I have a good career, I make more than enough to be comfortable, and I fucking **hate** college (I've dropped out several times and currently have ~36 credits).
But I can't get the idea out of my head. I find myself daydreaming about the startup I work at sellling off, taking my equity (which definitely wouldn't be retirement level) and just walking away and going back to school.
So,
TL;DR: | What the duck, any advice? AND/OR Anyone else have experience with an idea just popping into their head out of nowhere and getting stuck there? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am almost 100% positive my long distance friend [21M] of three years is being catfished and I don't know what to do.
POST: So my friend(we shall call him T) met this "girl" through facebook, she just randomly added him and later messaged him saying they have a friend in common that she went to high school with, he even asked the friend in common and she vouched for her, saying she knew who this random girl was.
Fast forward a year later, and my friend T is still seeing this girl, they have been on and off the whole relationship. The reason why I believe she is a catfish is because everything in her life is extremely outlandish. She claimed to have lived in the same state as him and anytime he would bring up meeting she would make up an excuse, all the way to the point were she claimed to have moved to take care of a sick grandparent. She can't talk on the phone or webcam because she has bad service, same goes for sending too many pictures. She will goes days without texting him, and when she does its sometimes only two words.He cant send her anything because she wont give T her address. Her life seems crazy! She claims to have custody of her little brother at 23 because her mom had issues and dad wasn't there, someones always sick or dying, she was a former alchoholic, its just too much to believe!
I've tried brining it up to him, but hes convinced shes the real deal, and I don't know what to do, because shes hurting him and he deserves better.
TL;DR: | I am almost positive my long distance friend is being catfished, and I don't know what to do. Should I just leave it be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my Wife [24 F] of 3 years, She goes ballistic when I ask her to do chores
POST: My wife and I got married 3 years ago, and everything was great in our marriage. We made the decision to have kids, and last year our beautiful baby girl was born. Since then my wife made the decision to stay at home and take care of her. Before kids we would both split the chores, she would clean the house, we would both cook, I would do dishes and stuff like that. Recently I stepped up at work, and started to climb the ranks to provide for my family. My wife on the other hand has started to well, not do the chores. I asked her about it and she just said the usual stuff like "I'm tired" , "I'll do it later" , "Honey, I said I would do it". And we'll she doesn't. It's gotten to the point where I do all the cooking, wash all the dishes, walk the dog, while she just talks to her friends on the phone for HOURS on end! When I confronted her, she LOST IT. She started screaming about how I didn't appreciate her or anything and just stormed up to our room. I ended up caring for my daughter the rest of the night, putting her to bed, diaper changing etc. The next morning she cold shouldered me, and I just left for work. I feel really upset that my wife is just sitting at home, kinda doing next to nothing while I do most of the chores AND work around 9 hours a day.
TL;DR: | Wife is slowly not doing chores anymore, and gets extremely angry whenever I try to bring it up or tell her do them. I'm confused and need a way to approach her and find a solution. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] fell in love with a girl [21F] three years ago when I started college.
POST: Three years ago I started college and met a girl at orientation. Immediately I was attracted to her but I knew the likely hood of us meeting up again was low since it was only orientation. Two months later when we moved into dorms I ran into her again and we became friends and started hanging out. The more we hung out the more in love with her I fell, almost every single day I could feel it getting worse and worse. Unfortunately she had a boyfriend at the time and still has a boyfriend to this day.
I'm transferring to a different college in the fall so this last semester we became closer knowing that I would be leaving, which didn't help my feelings subside. So now the semester is over and for the past two weeks we've both been talking on the phone every night from around 1-6am and I've loved every second of it. Now she invited me to stay at her house for a few days to hang out with her and chill. I figured it would be no big deal but I was wrong. After all that talking and bonding I feel like when I got to her house all I wanted to tell her was that I love her. I know that's wrong especially since she has a boyfriend, but it's just been driving me crazy lately and I'm not sure how to go about this.
TL;DR: | I know I probably shouldn't feel this way given that she has a boyfriend, but I can't feel to get my feeling to subside. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] am considering breaking up with my [20 F] girlfriend of over 2 years over incompatibility but am worried about her depression
POST: I really enjoy spending time and talking with my girlfriend and when we're together, 95% of the time it's amazing. However, while I hate the words "needy" and "clingy", they apply to how she acts when we separate. Unfortunately, we are a highschool romance now one year into university. Our universities are 2 and a half hours away driving. A middle distance relationship I guess.
The practical result of the distance is that she expects contact every weekend, which is more than I prefer. Among other issues generally along the lines of me being one of the only things that gives her happiness, this difference in our expectations of time together has hurt our relationship a lot.
The recent crisis: Recently the neediness intensified, and I am reaching a point where I no longer want to give in, unless we actually compromise. (I'm a bit of a coward who gives in too easily in general). Short family trips that don't include gf (because my family takes family-only trips) are now brutal to our relationship, making her cry and feel lonely the entire time. She revealed that for months she has been fighting depression.
Being a wuss, I had been thinking about breaking up because of how differently we want the relationship to go. Now, not only do I fear the guilt of breaking up with her and watching her life spiral downward, I am wondering how much our incompatibility was magnified by depression, that might be easier to defeat now that I know about it. At the same time, everyone I know says I wouldn't be able to help, and I should be looking out for my own interests, not hers. That makes sense but I'm not convinced. What should I consider? What are pros and cons I haven't thought of?
TL;DR: | 2 year relationship on very rocky ground due to clinginess on girlfriend's part, desire for independence on mine. Girlfriend's depression complicates matter. OP is confused and worried. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [23 F] broke up with me [24 M] after 6 years, because of me having trouble in school finishing my thesis
POST: For the past 2 years I had some problems in my life. I was supposed to graduate as an engineer 2 years ago but I had a bit of problems with my thesis. I found the subject difficult and I didn't know what to do with it, and for some reason I couldn't start working on it. I felt panic and stress whenever I thought about it. I started procrastinating and this spiraled out of control to the point where I was just sitting in my room all day playing video games to not think about it. The only time I went outside was in the weekends to my girlfriend or for a temporary job I had for 6 months during this time.
Now the last part of my relationship with my girlfriend was us having fights about my schoolwork. She broke up with my for this reason, this was one month ago. Now a few weeks before we broke up I had an appointment with my school counselor and she helped me bit and talked to the people who need to help me with my thesis. We made a schedule and this helped me a lot to start working on the paper again.
This all happened mid Mai - beginning of June, the breakup with my girlfriend was end Mai. I now have 1,5 month to finish my thesis but still a lot of work to do. I also started running every other day now and in general I feel a lot better.
It has been 1 month since the break up now, and I haven't heard from her since. But I miss her very hard. I don't know what I should do right now. I wanted to contact her again but I don't want to annoy her again with my stupid thesis, I don't want her to feel stressed out again because of my shit but on the other side I really miss her. When she broke up with me she said she till loved me and I don't know what to do right now.
TL;DR: | Having trouble finishing my thesis for the past 2 years caused problems in my personal life and in my relationship to the point where my girlfriend broke up with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My ex owes me lots of money...what should I do?
POST: Long story short...
We split up last April, and she kept our appartment.We had a few outstanding bills (ie cellphones, TV, etc), and in order for me to change them to her name, the balance needed to be brought down to 0$. I had a few other things I needed to do with my pay, so for the summer, I just payed the monthly balance on them without bringing them to zero.
I told her I wanted to take my couches to bring to my new place, and being a considerate person, I offered to buy her a cheap couch until she could pay me back, so I bought her a 400$ couch. Eventually, I payed off all the bills, and switched everything to her name. In the end, the total for the bills of her cell phone, TV, internet and couch that I payed for her throughout the summer was approx. 1800$. To ensure she wouldnt freak out (she has a hard time accepting things like this, and instead of dealing with it, usually yells to avoid them), i told her I would take about 400$ off, and that I would be EXTREMELY flexible as too how much she wanted to pay me monthly, and I gave her plenty of time to think about it....
Thats was over a month ago, and I ask her every week nicely whether she's decided, cause if I get pushy, she WILL freak and tell me she won't pay me. What do I do? I'm don't know what I can do.
She is not taking me seriously, and if I ask too much, she will tell me to fuck off and I'll definatly not get my money. HELP
TL;DR: | I payed my ex's bills for the summer under an agreement she would pay me after, and now she's avoiding paying me... |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by blowing my chance with a girl who sent me nudes
POST: A few days ago, I received some pictures of a girl I kinda liked in various stages of undress. This surprised me because we both found each other pretty annoying, and she had a boyfriend. Having no fucking idea what to do, I show them to one of my best female friends, who happened to be one of her friends too. We just laughed about them until we got sidetracked. Over the next couple of days, the girl who sent the pictures acted normal. Whenever I'd ask her why she sent them, she'd say she didn't want to talk about it. By that point, I was super into her.
Today, we were in band class with a whole period to goof off, and she's just sitting there with her head down, almost crying. The rest of us just went along with our conversation, pretending like she wasn't even there. And know that the girl I shared the pictures with was also there, and we both were wondering what the hell was going on with her.
A few minutes ago, I got a message from one of the girl's friends. I barely know her, so it surprised me when I got it. She seemed pretty pissed at me, and angry that I showed the pics to my friend. Then, she said that the girl only sent them because she liked me and she broke up with her boyfriend for me. Now, she's super pissed at me and he won't take her back. I'm sitting here feeling like shit beacause I ruined my chance with a girl and broke up her relationship with another guy.
TL;DR: | Girl interested in me sends me pics and dumps her boyfriend, I had no idea what to do and show them to a mutual friend, now girl is pissed at me and lost her old boyfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Beautiful girl at work has... not so beautiful boyfriend.
POST: Call me a jerk whatever. Appearance plays a big part in a relationship. You're just a liar or naive if you think otherwise.
So this girl at work is so beautiful it makes me want to cry. She has fair skin and long black hair with blue eyes. She more floats than she does walk. She's very shy and speaks very quietly. I've made her giggle on several occasions and it totally makes my day when she smiles because of something I did.
Her boyfriend though...
Imagine your typical atheist Brony but not *quite* as fat. That's basically him. He has no real social skills, doesn't look at you while talking, never has anything interesting to say and doesn't seem to have any personality.
Now what the fuck does she see in him? 9s date 9s, 3s date 3s... 9s don't date 3s. It makes no sense.
I know this is Reddit and this sub is very feminist overrun and has been for a year, so I know I'm going to get a lot of "it's what's on the INSIDE that counts you NIGGER!" and yeah, I crush hard on this girl but I know another girl who isn't as good looking but has such a sweet personality that I love her, it just breaks my brain why such a hot girl would go out with... someone not as genetically fortunate.
TL;DR: | I'm butthurt because I'm a 6' guy who works out four times a week and the hot chick at work would rather look at the neckbeard than me B| |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20F) with my SO of two years (21M). Want to hear about experiences from other couples who have had one partner study abroad.
POST: Hey guys. I've been wanting to post this for awhile but just came up with the courage to do it.
Me and my boyfriend have a really special relationship. He is my best friend. He is so funny, outgoing, and honest. He balances me out and I truly can't picture anyone else I could be happier with. I adore him.
Around October, he told me he was planning on studying abroad for 7 weeks. He is a photographer major at our university and the majors all take a 7 week trip to a foreign country with their professor. They stay at a university for a few weeks but will also be taking a bus to Malaysia.
There is one other guy going, and 8 girls. They are all friends, as the photography majors are really close.
I will admit, I have low self esteem. I am very outgoing, have lots of friends and throw lots of parties. But there is always a nagging sense of insecurity pulling at me.
I am so back and forth. One day I think we'll be fine, then another day I can't stop thinking about him falling in love with someone he's going on the trip with.
He has been the strong one in the relationship. He always reassures me that it's going to be ok and that we will make it. But now with my lack of security, it's wearing at him.
It seems like I have a weird emotional breakdown every two weeks, and it's wearing at our relationship. I am trying SO HARD to make it work, but it's just hard for me.
I want to be with him more than anything. I love him more than anything in the world and I love being with him. He is a wonderful boyfriend and very moral and faithful. But I'm scared. I rely on him for so much and I know I'll miss him.
TL;DR: | Having trouble with having the security to be excited about SO traveling to Thailand for 7 weeks this summer with a group of mostly girls. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I never feel hungry, and therefore I rarely eat. What the hell should I do?
POST: Over the best few years I've been losing my appetite. I eat less and less but feel just fine. In fact, I feel better than ever.
My typical day is something like this. (currently unemployed by the way)
Wake up at 8:30-9am (something I can't help these days). I have a very comfy bed so I usually lay in bed reading for around an hour.
When I finally get out of bed I'll start a pot of coffee and jump in the shower.
Coffee after the shower, sometimes I'll have oatmeal or cereal but usually I just go with coffee. With my coffee I usually write and listen to music.
By this time it's already like 1 or 2 in the afternoon. I'll think that maybe I should eat something, but usually get distracted and do something else.
I get bored in the late afternoon and go on walks. I end up walking until it starts to get dark and I head home but I still don't feel tired or hungry (I do drink plenty of water during the day).
When I get home I will always eat just because I know my body needs something. Usually a couple packets of oatmeal, a bowl of cereal, soup. Anything small and simple.
If it's a day that I don't go on a walk, I often end up running to a fast food place that's open late and get a kids meal.
I also have a stationary bike that I try to ride for at least 30 minutes a day because I need to keep my quads strong because I have a fucked up knee.
On average I finally end up going to bed around 2:30-4am. And do it all over again.
I never feel tired with how little sleep I get.
TL;DR: | I live a fairly active life but I never get hungry or tired. I only eat and sleep because I know I have to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I be worried about the cops searching my house as part of a background check?
POST: My brother is applying for a job as a police officer at a neighboring city. As part of the advanced selection process, they will be conducting a very thorough background check on him. Part of this process involves the city sending officers to his house (which is also my house) to "inspect" it for signs he is not fit for police work. I have no idea how extensive this search will be. I have an unregistered handgun (inherited from relative) and some rarely used marijuana paraphernalia lying around. I plan to relocate these items before the search. My main concern is pirated media. My computers contain some music, movies and games that weren't necessarily obtained through legitimate sources. I also have some CDs and DVDs with pirated music and movies on them. Should I get rid of these? Should I expect the cops to search through the files on my computers? I'm not overly concerned with myself being caught with anything illegal but I prefer to avoid it if I can. My biggest concern is putting my brother's employment in jeopardy from things the cops might find around my possessions.
Has anyone ever experienced a police background check like this? How thorough can I expect it to be? I appreciate any input you good people may have on the matter. I live in Illinois if that matters at all.
TL;DR: | My house will be searched by the police as part of a employment background check on my brother. What should I toss into the fireplace tonight? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] messed up with my first girlfriend [25 F]
POST: I know people don't want to read walls of text, so I'll keep this short.
I just messed up my first relationship. She said her feelings changed. I know that it's because we were moving too fast and it was **our** decision to move that fast. It was my fault though, because I wasn't aware of something called "honeymoon stage/phase/period". If I had known about it, I would've kept things going slowly.
I don't want to make the same mistake again. Is there anyway I can improve? Are there books out there which could help prevent that kind of mistake? Maybe some forums? **I don't wanna learn from my own mistakes**. It's too painful.
TL;DR: | Messed up first relationship which could be a beautiful one due to inexperience and unawareness of the "honeymoon phase". Wanna learn more to be better at dating/relationship to prevent further mistakes. Thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [17/m] can't tell if she (17/f) is interested.
POST: Alright first let me say that I actually already took this girl to the prom, and we both enjoyed it. That was a few weeks ago. Neither of us are incredibly outgoing or flirtatious people. On one hand, I don't feel like she's ever really shown any interest in me since said prom date, but, then again, she'd kind of a hard person to read. I have never had a girlfriend, and I don't think she's ever really dated either. We still talk on a fairly regular basis, but with school now ended, it's now mostly via text (I know, I know, text messages aren't the way to go for this sort of thing, but I don't really have a lot of options).
I decided to ask her out to ice cream (everybody likes ice cream), but may have accidentally worded it in a way where I wasn't clearly asking her out to ice cream. Instead I say I would like her to help me spend a gift card I had gotten awhile ago to a nearby ice cream place. I was pretty optimistic when her first response was "I love ice cream haha". Although after exchanging just two messages about the ice cream place itself, she mentions that she was just there last week. My response of "You can never have too much ice cream" went unanswered. This was all a few days ago. Would it be weird to just directly ask if she wants to go get ice cream at this point. I think I'm way over-thinking this.
TL;DR: | I'm trying to ask a girl out, but can't tell if she even knows I asked her out, and am also not sure if she is interested in me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not locking my phone before putting it in my pocket
POST: So this fuck up literally just happened. I come over to my buddys house to meetup with him before were supposed to go to the gym. No one was upstairs (he lives in the basement) and i heard the shower going, so thinking he was just getting ready i decided to go downstairs and play some xbox while i wait. As i get to the bottom of the stairs i see the bathroom door wide open, and my buddys reflection in the mirror clearly just going to town on the girl he's been seeing lately. Heres where the fuck up happens, as i try to be sneaky and walk back up the stairs without either of them noticing, my fucking phone in my pocket rubs against my leg and just starts playing a loudass add for pandora. Freaking out i just ran upstairs as quick as i could, stole his bubbler and am now awkwardly smoking and waiting for him in the backyard hoping they didnt hear anything.
TL;DR: | went over my friends house, halfway walked im on him banging in the shower then had my spot blown by pandora before i could sneak out. Fuck you pandora |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (21f) boyfriend (24m) is on a beautiful cruise, how do I fight jealousy
POST: Throw away because my boyfriend like reddit too. So just like the title says, I have a very big first world problem. I've been dating "john" for over a year. He is on a cruise for 12 days for work. He was told could bring somebody and decided to bring his friend which we both decided was cool because we had been planning a trip together when he got home. John travels a lot for work and he is going to Australia and Europe in March and April. I've been wanting to travel for a very long time but my ex boyfriend never had a lot of money so we just never went anywhere.
John just found out that he will be losing his job soonish so we wont be able to travel for at least another year. I only get to talk to John every few days when the cruise docks and he can find wifi. He is having an amazing time and Im stuck at home, cold, lonely, and writing stupid papers for school. This is also Johns first time being in the ocean which I thought was going to be an experience he would have with me.
Every time we talk I just get sad and jealous that I'm not there with him and that I wont be able to travel for at least another year. Its so hard to be stuck at home when I know he's doing amazing cool things and having rad new experiences without me. I know that when he gets home he will be super happy and refreshed from his trip but I feel like I might be grumpy and jealous. I don't know how to not feel shitty whenever I talk to him. I always feel like he is rubbing it in my face when he tells me what a great time he's having but I know he just wants to share his fun times with me. Does anybody have any advice about how I can be happier when I talk to him and when he comes home?
TL;DR: | boyfriend is on an amazing cruise and I'm stuck at home, how do I feel happy for him when I'm so jealous? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I feel like I'm making a mistake..
POST: Relatively recently I broke up with my girlfriend. Previously put a couple posts around and basically got the usual "you're wasting your time" "she's cheating on you" "you deserve better" and so on. I'll agree Reddit, I do deserve better... most of the time. But the simple fact of the matter is, is that since her and I have been hanging out more and more recently, everything has been great. She hasn't been lying to me (been testing this out by finding out things that she'd typically lie about and ask her about it), she's been under tons of stress and would rather be around me than her current BF.. everything is going great. Her friend (s) that used to hate me like me more and more and actually ask for me to be included in things, I'm not depressed and curled in sickening pain anymore.
But with all this, things going great, no depression, not much stress, not much drama; it all feels extremely too good to be true compared to the past. I'm scared that I'm making a mistake and that I'm caving in to old habits and comfort zones instead of just breaking things off. I don't want to see her go, I don't want to go, and I don't want to be with someone else because everything with her is just.. fun. I feel like my family I lost with her (her and 2 dogs) are finally back within reach and can still be obtained.
Am I crazy for feeling like this or wanting this back? The relationship lasted for over 4 years and I'm the only one that she can rely on in her life anymore, and I feel the same way towards her.
I don't mind replies and some criticism, but don't rip me apart for feeling this way please.
TL;DR: | Feeling amazing being around my ex again and am scared that I'm making a mistake by wanting to get back together with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: We had a missed connection at her job, and I don't know if I should go back.
POST: Hi all,
I could use a little advice.
Yesterday, I was at Starbucks a few miles from my house. (I don't drink coffee, btw, I was just waiting for a friend.) I was drawing on a piece of paper with a Sharpie. A barista happens to be near me refilling stuff. She comes a little closer to me and says, "Do you need any other colors?" and shows me the assortment of colored Sharpies in her apron pocket. As an illustrator, this was pretty much the most amazing way I've ever met a girl. So I said, "Sure! Thanks!" It was too perfect.
I finished what I was working on, and I left her a silly cartoon (with Dad caliber jokes) along with her markers before I left. I didn't leave a name or number because I thought that would've come off cowardly or sleazy.
I just know that when people are at work, it's hard to get a word in for a million reasons, and more than anything, I'd hate to make her feel uncomfortable at her job, so...
1. Do I go back?
2. If I do, how do I casually ask to see her again?
Thank you in advance for your input; you're all amazing.
TL;DR: | I'm a grown man who colors at restaurants and I think the waitress who brought me markers is into me. How do I reopen this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F/19] need advice on how to move on from my first love of 4 years [M/18] breaking up with me out of the blue
POST: My ex boyfriend and I dated from the time we were 15 and 14 to now, I'm 19 and he is 18. You could say we were high school sweethearts. I thought everything was going just fine in our relationship. We even went on a trip together out east with his family. By going on this trip, I saw this as a sign that we are getting more serious and was excited to go on more trips with him. We were best friends. But then last week he blindsided me by breaking up with me out of the blue, only a month after our trip. I was absolutely crushed...am crushed. Now that I have bounced back from my meltdown, I need advice. What's the best way to move on?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend [M/18] of 4 years broke up with me [F/19] out of the blue. I need advice on how to move on from getting my heart crushed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the most embarrassing thing you did in public? I'll start!
POST: My friends know me for crapping my pants. Let me tell you a story of when I was 17. I was playing football with my friends at a park close to a school, about 2 miles away from my house. And then I get this sudden urge to take a crap. I didn't have my car at that time and I was too embarrassed to ask go up to a random house to ask them if I can use their washroom. So, I called my dad to come pick me up. I decided to run to the parking lot where he will be. Half way through the run, I am right beside the school and my body decides that I must poo! So right where the kids line up in the morning, I pull down my pants and take a smooth, liquid, disgusting crap! BUT, while I was taking that emergency crap, I see my dad coming. So I pull up my pants and run to him! While I was running I figured out that I was not finished crapping, so some fell in my pants. Anyways, I get in the car, my dad finds out that I crapped my pants, and makes me sit on cardboard at the back seat. So after we get home, I get up and see that the cardboard has been stained by my liquid crap! Anyways, I run up stairs to take a shower. After I took a shower and cleaned myself up, I go back to the soccer field to pick up my shoes (I was wearing football cleats). Turns out that my friends that I was playing soccer with have all seen me take a crap. They all saw it falling down my pants. And one of my friends decided to take a picture of the aftermath of my crap beside the school. They all laughed it off and now I am 18 and they still remember it. So every time we want to go play football again, they all remind me to bring a diaper with me :) By the way, I latter found out that when I was running up the stairs at home, some of my crap fell on the stairs, and my mom stepped on it. She just looked at me and shook her head...
TL;DR: | I crapped my pants while playing football, my mom ended up stepping on it, and my friends took a picture of the aftermath! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: my best friend tried to sleep with me so I took her skydiving and we ended our friendship. my wife is livid... what do you think? what can I do?
POST: I'm 25 with a 2 year old son. My wife went out of state with our son to visit her family, I stayed home to finish up some work stuff. When I was done, I went to the mountains with 2 friends to ride (had snowed 5 feet). While we were there, my friend told me that she wanted to fuck me.
I had been friends with her for the past 4 years, and lived with her and her boyfriend for 2 years immediately prior to being married. Nothing sexual has ever happened between us, but we did have a strong friendship.
She didn't drop the issue, told me she couldn't, so I took her skydiving instead and we ended our friendship. Neither of us had ever been before.
I told my wife what happened as soon as she got back and she is very mad. I knew she was going to be a little upset... but she is really, really upset.
I thought that this would give my wife some closure (she has always been wary and never that fond of this person) and peace of mind, but it seems to have done the opposite, even though we will never see each other again.
I love my wife and I want to be with her forever, but I fear that I have still shattered my marriage beyond repair. I did not anticipate my wife's reaction to be this severe.
From where I sit, I have lost a good friend, the saboteur has failed, and my wife loses the opportunity to go skydiving with me for my first time. Everyone can move on. I think my wife has a different perspective.
How wrong was this? Do I deserve to be left? What can I do for my wife? What are your thoughts? If she leaves me over this, did she not want to be with me in the first place? Thanks.
TL;DR: | Took good friend skydiving when she wanted to fuck me, wife is really pissed. What can I do for wife, how to save marriage? thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my wife [24F], I found out that she has a dating profile on a popular website.
POST: Essentially; we still live together but recently decided to start the process of separating and eventually divorce.
While my wife was in the shower our daughter was playing with her phone and brought it up to me to restart the app she was using when she accidentally closed out of it. When I took the phone an email notification popped up from a popular dating website.
I restarted the app for my daughter and then used my phone to go look at that website and upon running a search, found her profile. She has been on there for about a week, only has one photo, and her "About Me" isn't very lengthy.
My points;
1. I think it's way too soon for either of us to be actively searching as we are still legally married and still living in the same house, and even sleeping in the same bed.
2. If she wanted to make a profile and at least discussed it with me, I would still feel the same about it being too soon, but at least I wouldn't be sitting on this side of the fence looking like a dumb ass who thinks maybe if he fixes himself things will work out in the end.
I want to talk to her about it but I don't know how to approach the situation without her thinking I went snooping through her phone because I have done that in the past and it caused a big argument but I promised I never would again and I didn't... I saw the email pop up and did not click on it, I reopened the app for our daughter and gave her the phone so I wouldn't feel tempted to invade my wife's emails.
IMO looking on my phone at the website isn't out of line...
TL;DR: | Found wife's profile on dating website, feel hurt because I think it's too soon for that, would like to discuss it but don't know how without her thinking I invaded her privacy by looking through her phone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32F] very open with my husband [32M] married 3 years, together 10, about my work crush [33 M] whom I have had feelings for for months but never discussed my feelings with, should I finally tell him (crush) today?
POST: I have basically had a crush on my friend at work (for about 8 months now) since before I met him. Now we are good friends and hang out at work, and a few times outside of work for happy hour.
I have been torturing myself, and my very understanding husband about my feelings for this other guy, but have never told my friend how I feel. My husband has been extremely supportive and understanding, giving me advice and even consoling me when I'm down about this other guy.
He would be open to me seeing where this might go, knowing that I am happy in my marriage with him, but can't help these feelings for the other guy.
To finally get this off my chest I want to tell my crush, but am so nervous to do so as he is more of a reserved guy who doesn't often talk about his feelings and I would rather not make things awkward at work, but think about him too much and feel the time has come to say something. I am an extremely open person usually but haven't opened up to this friend yet because he makes me nervous. Should I tell him today?
TL;DR: | Should I tell my work crush I have feelings for him if I have been discussing said feelings with my understanding husband for months now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Has anyone actually read the Redditquette regarding the voting policy?
POST: I've actually thought about this for a long time, and the 4Chan discussion just brought this back up. You know what the Redditquette speaks about on the voting issue?
Vote. The up and down arrows are your tools to make reddit what you want it to be. **If you think something contributes to conversation, upvote it. If you think it does not contribute to the subreddit it is posted in or is off-topic in a particular community, downvote it. **
If you look closely, it doesn't say "Downvote if you disagree" or "Upvote if you agree!". It say Upvote if it adds to the discussion (I guess Funny comments work too, as long as they're good!) and downvote if it doesn't. Downvoting on different opinions just means people are going to be scared to post their opinion. "Will I lose 300 karma overnight and be buried with insults?"
Different opinions spark debates, and they're fun to see around. Say you're debating in person, you try to knock down each other's points. We don't have 3 other people jumping in going "UR DUMB!" making them scared to continue talking.
Another snippet from the Redditquette.
**Downvote opinions just because you disagree with them. The down arrow is for comments that add little or nothing to the discussion.**
Actually, the Redditquette seems to have a ton of issues (Don't complain about reposts, Gif/Pic posts, Flood with Novelty Accounts, etc).
TL;DR: | REDDITQUETTE says to NOT downvote comments because you disagree, only if it doesn't add to the discussion. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] liking a guy [28M] but not caring for his friends circle
POST: I've been talking a lot with this old acquaintance from my home town and the conversations are clearly flirty in nature so I have a pretty good idea of where this is going. But the problem with this guy's friends circle is that they're all the same people I used to hang out with in high school.
His brother used to be my classmate, in high school I briefly dated his best friend, we all hung out in the same basement every weekend, etc. They're not bad people, but it was a small town and you're sort of pushed together with these people because of the circumstances surrounding you, not necessarily because you'd choose them as your friends. When I rarely hang out with them (some sort of social obligation I guess), it's still all the same jokes and all the same topics as in high school. Honestly, I sometimes feel this incredible urge to just delete all of them from my social media, because I don't really want them to know what I do or how I'm doing. These people never made me feel good about myself.
But I do like this guy. I had a crush on him for years, he's funny and hot, part of me really wants to see where this could go. But part of me also knows that hanging out with our old friends would just mean a lot of juvenile humor, smoking weed, lots of gossip, people making "good-natured" jokes about various minorities, etc. I don't really care for that but I know these are the people he spends the majority of his time with.
Is there a way to date this guy but not really interact with my old friends? Or am I an asshole for even having this problem, I mean is this thing even worth pursuing?
TL;DR: | I like a guy, but he's still friends with all the same people I used to hang out with in high school. And they're not people I'd willingly hang out with anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (24,F) work 2 jobs and take care of my daughter and stepdaughter while (25,M) boyfriend has been unemployed for almost 2 years. Should I be ok with this??
POST: So I've always been supporting myself since I was 18. Had my daughter at 19. Got with my current bf about two years ago. We didn't think it would turn serious and now we live together. He doesn't work or help around the apartment. I try to have him help but he refuses and makes me do it. He has a 2 year old daughter from a one night stand. We found out about her last year. She comes every other weekend. And I love her. But its hard supporting her, my daughter and my unemployed bf. And to make matters worse. He's an alcoholic. Like hard core whisky drinker. So any chance he has to get money he buys alcohol. He stays up all night drinking, and is asleep most of the day. I get home exhausted from working at a local gym front desk. And I also work at a salon as a receptionist. So am I wrong for allowing him to take advantage? Or should I just let him get a job when he's ready and just deal with him because I do love him. And he's a great guy overall.
TL;DR: | I work 2 jobs take care of my daughter and sometimes bf's daughter while bf is an alcoholic and is also unemployed. Should I be ok with all this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24/M] have some problems with my gf [23/F] in the bed. Please help!
POST: The problem is the following: she is a perfect 10/10 (she still have issues with her body ... -_-), but in bed she acts like a starfish. I have to do everything. Starting with the foreplay followed by me fingering her or give her oral until she comes, after that comes the sex part when only i move. She usually just laying down, makes no sound at all, but i can clearly see her pleasured face.
I asked her so many times for oral or some normal positions like the surfboard... But she refused every time. Her body is so sexy but with her attitude i starting to get bored with the sex.
I dont have problems with my body at all (i do material arts so my body is fine, and my dick is avarage).
And to top that her sex drive is too low (if i dont engade then we would have 1 action per month).
I don't want to leave her but it is starting to poison my love to her. What should i do to boost her sex drive or her confidence in the bed?
TL;DR: | She acts like a starfish in bed, i have to do everything. I start to get bored with that... what should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F19] am thinking about introducing my boyfriend [M20] of 8 months to the family. However, I don't have a good relationship with my parents. How long should I wait, or should I go ahead and do it?
POST: To elaborate on the title, I grew up in a divorced household that could never afford the actual divorce. We were too poor to get lawyers and have been drowning in debt since I was born. Essentially, my parents hate each other. My father is pushing 70 and he had some trust issues with me in the past when I hit my teen years. My mom and I have always had a rocky relationship because she tore up the family by lying and cheating on my father. There are a slew of other issues, but these are the main ones.
Now when I left for college my father said I was not allowed to date until I turned 21. I did not plan on getting into a relationship, I just really admired this guy and we ended up becoming best friends. We're getting pretty serious, and I think out of respect and honesty I should bring it up to them and let them know I am dating. He will be my first serious boyfriend.
TL;DR: | What I want to ask is how long did you wait to introduce your partner to your family? What would be your advice on my approach to my parents considering the rocky relationship I have with them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 19 M Is there a way to suppress romantic feelings with stronger romantic feelings?
POST: My SO and I are happy together, and I plan to remain this way with her. Recently, a girl who I presumed dead contacted me through an old account online. She and I never had any physical romantic experiences, but plenty emotional experiences. When this girl disappeared, it made me depressed and I developed a anxiety disorder. Her reconnecting with me makes me feel like I might be crossing the lines with my SO.
This girl claims we can be strictly platonic, but I don't believe my SO would believe that.
I don't want to upset my SO. What can I do?
TL;DR: | Thought female best friend died in high school, but she contacted me the other day. Now, old feelings haunt me and I don't want to upset my SO by crossing any lines. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19f] feel like I have fallen out of love with my boyfriend [21f] and don't know what to do.
POST: So, me and my boyfriend have been together on and off since I was a sophomore in high school, but together completely for the past year. I used to be completely obsessed and infatuated with him, but lately things have been so different. Everything he does irritates me and annoys me, to the point where people have commented that I snap at him and give him attitude a lot, which is odd because I have never been an easily agitated person. I still love hanging out with him and feel more comfortable with him than anyone else in my life, but he just irks me constantly with the little things he says and does.
The biggest problem that has been going on is one that has to do with out sex life. I have always been a very sexual person and loved hooking up. We used to have incredible sex every day, and now we do it once a week at most. And when we do, I hate every second of it. It's forced and I am not turned on at all, and am pretty much waiting for it to be over. We are so young and I feel like we are too serious and too close and our relationship has become boring. He is my best friend but I am now doubting whether or not he is meant to be my SO. I want to have sex with other people, have my freedom, and be single.
But there's another part of me that thinks I'm wrong and doubts myself. A few weeks ago I sort of talked to him about all this but ended up freaking out and getting upset, and changing my mind because I have a fear of change and thought maybe I was being ridiculous. It's so difficult for me to think of being without him because he's been such a big part of my life for so long.
I truly am at a loss. Should I break up with him, should I wait it out? It's been a really tough past few weeks thinking of all this.
TL;DR: | I no longer feel the attraction to my again/off again boyfriend of four years, but still love him a lot and feel like I might just be acting stupid by feeling this way. I am hesitant to break up with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Coming on to me or my over active imagination
POST: I'm happily in a 7 year relationship and woefully out of practice in dealing with interested women and/or innuendo. I usually mutter something indifferent and dismissive and go on with my day. This case is special because it is a co-worker and I don't want to be my usual "I'll never see your face again in my life so I'm not overly concerned with your feelings." self. **I have a co-worker that I'm interacting with in day to day business, we are at each others desks multiple times a day. Recently she's started this habit of when she is standing at my desk whether looking over my shoulder at my screen/reading a spread sheet/etc of straddling the corner of my desk and slowly bouncing the corner between her inner thighs.** She isn't waaay up on the desk like in some porno or something, just standing at the corner of my desk.
She is attractive yes, so you could probably attach some psychological reasoning as to why this is bothering me, that is beyond my expertise. Even if I wasn't in a relationship I don't shit where I eat (date co-workers). This habit is annoying me because it puts her in my personal space and her crotch about a foot closer to my face than usual. **I don't mind telling her to stop, but I don't want it to come across as a message of rejection if it is innuendo. If it's a case of innuendo I'd rather just play the clueless man and step up the "my g/f is so wonderful" diatribes until she moves on. What are everyone's thoughts?**
Told by Mod to add the following:
My Age: 35
Her Age: 37
Work together for: 5 years
TL;DR: | Not sure if coworker is hitting on me, and I'd like to tell her to stop without upsetting the work environment. Ideas for how to approach this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [20 M] cheat on my GF [20 F] of 2/3 months just because I want sex?
POST: So I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months. We go to college together so it's great when we're there but now we're at home I miss having sex. I miss her too, she's coming to visit in a month's time but until then there's nothing I can do about that. To be honest I wasn't planning to get into a relationship but when I realised she was perfect for me it seemed stupid not to. Now I'm back home, I find I miss my single life and sex in particular, but I still really don't want to lose my GF. I also somewhat resent having to choose between them.
I told her early on that I'll struggle to be without sex in the holidays and suggested we see other people during that time. Not romantically, just sexually. She wasn't pleased with it at all, in fact she's very scared about being cheated on. I've never cheated on anybody so I don't know how happy I'd be lying to her by omission, but I think I could do it.
So yesterday my FWB/ex suggested we go out for drinks tomorrow night. I said yes, and it will be nice to see her anyway because we're good friends so it's not just about sex. But sex is always a possibility with us, so I should probably decide now how I'll react if she starts coming on to me. She knows I have a GF but she's cheated on her BF with me so I don't think she'll care that much.
Should I go for it (if it comes up)?
Also can I please not hear a string of "sex isn't important, you're a cheating scum who only thinks with his dick, man up and wait" because I may actually be a sex addict - sex is very important to me and I find it very hard to say no. Any advice/help on this front is appreciated too.
TL;DR: | Missing sex, GF isn't up for non-monogamy, should I hook up with my ex/FWB anyway and not tell her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Someone please help... [16/M] problems with [16/F]
POST: (Yes, this is a repost, but thats only because i failed to reach a conclusion or mindset last time and now i only have 1 day left before i see her)
Long story short, girl knows i like her, gives slight hints she likes me back, then tells her friend she doesnt want relationship with me but its not because of me its just because she doesnt want a relationship. Girl will be telling me this in person soon. Whats my next move? The way i see it, i can play it 2 ways. no 1 - Just play it cool, be like hey thats ok i understand, give me a shout if you change your mind. And if she asks if we can be friends, ill say no i need some space right now to clear my mind and focus on other things and people. No 2 - Tell her how i feel and ask her to be completely open rather than "letting me down in a way to not hurt me" and tell her that i like her a lot and if she wants me in her life, i wont be there as a friend or male girlfriend and even though i really like her, i wont be forever waiting for her like her backup. No 1 seems to be more casual, cool and masculine and relies on her missing me when im not there and actually changing her mind and then even pursuing me AFTER shes changed her mind. This plan seems to be less efficient but it doesn't make me look like a pussy begging for her. Plan 2 seems more honest and open and DMN like but might make me look like a wimp and make it seem as if im begging for her and i need her (which i hate to admit, i sort of do....). This way seems to rely on her actually liking me back so its like a go big or go home situation. What is the best way to respond? I like her a lot and this thing has been going on for ages...
TL;DR: | girl i like a lot is confusing AF, need a way to respond to what she will be saying to me very soon. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with girlfriend [20F] of 3 months, can't help feeling sexually inadequate.
POST: My girlfriend and I were friends for a few months before we started going out, and as friends I found out a bit about her sexual history, which I never really had an issue with... until we started dating. I've only ever been with one girl before her and that was when I was 18. Her history is longer, fuller and something that makes me feel a little bit ill every time it's even mentioned in passing.
Every other part of our relationship is great, I just feel like the sex is lacking and that she doesn't enjoy it that much. She's never had an orgasm and says she wants to have one but has never really tried by herself and seems against the idea of trying now.
These two things joined together have left me feeling just a bit useless when it comes to anything in the bedroom, so my question is essentially: how do I stop feeling insecure about these things?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has had more partners than me, also has never orgasmed (and doesn't seem especially aroused during sex). Add these together and you get me feeling pretty rubbish about our sex life. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: I'm not performing as well as my coworkers? Afraid of being fired.
POST: Hey guys, I'm 16 years old and I work as a server for a Japanese restaurant. Recently my coworkers have been making a decent amount more than me. I almost always get 20% tips, but my coworkers often make more than me. Often times it's usually luck. I get the table of 3-4 and they end up getting the reservation of 20. All my manager sees is numbers. I topped the charts for tips for almost 3 months and only in the past 2 weeks have I been near the bottom. Due to this I've been getting less and less days to work and it's really scaring me whether or not I'll be fired. I'm the only guy server and she said she prefers girl servers and I'm also 16 years old which makes it difficult for her CPA since I "serve" alcohol. My Co workers know I'm an extremely hard worker and one of them texted me asking why I'm only working 2 days this week.
TL;DR: | I'm the only guy server. I'm under aged and I've been under-performing recently and I'm scared about losing my job or getting cut to an amount of hours that isn't even worth working. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16 M] have never had to make friends before, I've just moved half way across the country and apparently am really really shy
POST: I've never really had to make new friends, which ever school I went to around 3-4 people from my old school used to come and I used to just be friends with them. I did make friends outside but that was in middle school (when I was admittedly total douche, I think that might have something to do with my fear of social interaction) but high school I just had a group and made friends with people who approached me,
I've always had the same problems with girls honestly, never guys, but when a girl (I liked) dropped the most obvious hints I'd stammer, give a short response not to embarrass myself and get out of the situation asap
Ofc now I have this problem in general, I'm too scared to talk to someone about something, mostly because it seems like their 1000% of the time talking about stuff which happend at their school, I think I met one transfer student and had some nice conversations with him about soccer but that's about it. It's only the 2nd day but I feel bad being "that kid" who gets left out when people pick partners.
It's not even that people aren't trying to approach me, in a sports team I've been in 3-4 weeks now people have tried and tried but all I can stammer out are short 1 or 2 word responses, same problems I have with girls but with guys
So uhh how to get over social anxiety?
TL;DR: | Moved halfway across the country, just discovered I'm really bad at talking to people if I'm not surrounded by people I don't know |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally making a racist comment at work
POST: This happened this morning. It was a crappy rainy day out and I hadn't had any coffee yet. Working at FedEx and delivering packages like a damn Christmas time hero I get to my third delivery. I walk into the business which is a mechanic shop and it being early enough, all the employees are hanging around the front desk where I deliver to.
I put the box up on the counter and hand the closest employee my signing pad to sign off for the delivery while exchanging sarcastic notes about the lovely weather. He points to another box on the counter and asks me if I can take it, which is pretty standard. I look at the box and it's got a UPS tag on it so I can't take it. I tell him I can't take it due to that reason and tell him that the "brown guys will take it, like usual". Yeah, you know, UPS... they wear brown, drive brown trucks, we call them the guys in brown, or the brown guys.
Did I mention that most of the employees were Hispanic at this mechanics shop? No... Oh. Yeah, they were. I immediately got a what the hell... I quickly explained what I had said and got the fuck out.
TL;DR: | Was tired at work and told a group of Hispanics that their box would be taken by the brown guys, like usual. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/F] with my crush [26/M], 5 months. Haven't heard from him in a while.
POST: We've admitted to liking each other. Thought we're not in a relationship per se, we are more than friends, we talk about everything (good & bad), the works. We have never gone past some cuddling on the sofa.
For the past few weeks, after he finished an intense 4 month job posting during which we couldn't really spend much time together (save for texting each other all the time), he's been acting a little distant. Last time we went out with some friends, he didn't really pay me much attention or showed signs of affection (hugging me or holding my hand, etc).
I'd been asking him to see him at least once a week after his job posting, but he says he's been way too busy. It irked me that when we finally got the chance to be together, he made no move towards cheerishing this time with me. I told him his behaviour bothered me and he said that he simply didn't feel like hugging too much at the time. On that same day, I got news that my grandad was in hospital so, when our night out with friends was ending (I was feeling pretty emotional and shut people out because I didn't want to ruin the night with my personal feelings and problems) and went back home alone, even though our friends and him offered to walk me back.
His friend asked him if he still liked me. He said "Yeah, I really like her".
Now, I talked about all of this with him and, when we came to the conclusion that I was acting too demanding, I said we should take a break and that I wanted to give him some time. I also added he could come back and speak with me when he felt like it.
It's been over a week now... He's engaged me through Twitter and stuff but we haven't actually talked like we used to. Should I just keep waiting or tell him I miss him and would like to hear from him again?
TL;DR: | We talked about me being a bit clingy and I asked for some time. Also told him to get back to me when he felt like it. He hasn't, in over a week. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] with my father [55 M] - parents got divorced 2 years ago, but my dad now only spends time with new wife, rarely finds time for me because of constant traveling with job and wife.
POST: Youngest of 4, all my older siblings are too old to really be involved in my situation. Little background: parents happily married for 25+ years, dad cheated on my mom and remarried new women. Spends every minute of his life with this women and is always traveling with her because of work. He is rarely home and I am tired of just living with my mom. I love my mom, but it is just hard because most days I feel fatherless because I see him a couple times a month for a dinner. He always says he wants to see me more, but he is the one who is always gone, not me. I don't know what to because I love my dad, but I don't know how to see him more/be happier.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
TL;DR: | Parents recently divorced, dad now only spends time with new wife, constantly travels with her and I don't know how to get him to spend more time with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my bf [,22 M] 2yrs. Should he tell me who he's hanging out with?
POST: This is my first serious relationship So I'm not sure how things usually work. I've been lurking this sub for a while and saw that most people tell their SO who they're with.
Bf went back to his home town a few months ago. First time back in years. I understand he's got lots of female friends. I'm pretty jealous so I try not to act like it or be controlling. Anyway he never really talks about his friends back home because his logic is he never sees them. He mentioned two by name who he was looking forward to seeing (one guy, one girl) but for the rest just said he was doing stuff "with friends" or "with a friend". He was there for two weeks and I had exams at the time so was super busy but we still made time to talk so he did have time to elaborate on who. He just didn't and I didn't press.
It always annoyed me that he never told me if he was going to hang out with a guy or a girl but I put it down to my jealousy so I decided to ignore it. Anyway I've been look at this sub a bit lately and I noticed that it seems normal for some say whether they're hanging out with a guy or a girl. Did I misinterpret?
I'd like to know who he's spending time with even if I don't know them, but never dared ask because I really don't want to be controlling or act jealous to him. Is it fairly normal in relationships for this (telling SO who you're going to be spending time with) to happen? I tell him names and genders and explain friendships when I hang out with someone because I thought it'd be polite to, but he doesn't really unless I know the person.
Again, this is my first serious relationship so please be gentle. Any advice welcome
TL;DR: | Do partners typically let their SO know who they're hanging out with? My boyfriend doesn't really and I haven't pressed the issue because I don't want to be controlling or act jealous even though I'd like to know |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is your worst, self-induced cockblock story?
POST: A friend who I have been crushing pretty badly on asked me if I had plans for Valentine's Day. Like a dope, I said no, despite the fact that I had been slowly gunning up some courage to ask her out.
A few hours after that, she texts me and tells me about how another boy had been paying her all these compliments (apparently commenting on her looks, smile and smarts over the course of a few months doesn't cut chops with a few minutes of ab-wielded remarks, but I digress) and how she was really interested in him.
Like an even bigger dope, I jokingly suggest that maybe he wants to ask her to be his Valentine, before I slam my head against the keyboard shouting, "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!" over and over after I realize how badly I just pigeon-holed my lonely ass. Fun stuff.
Oh, and yeah. She dropped her hints his way on Valentine's Day, and
now they have a date this coming Friday (I was just texted all about it).
TL;DR: | crush on girl, absently tell girl that someone wants to be her valentine, smash face on desk, get texted about their up coming date, feelsbadman.jpg |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: What car can I afford on future salary?
POST: Will be starting new job soon making 38k a year. I currently have an 04 honda civic with 188k miles which I have spent way too much on repair for. I plan on trading it in hoping to get a bit over 1k plus 5k I will get from my dad and purchase another car. Here comes my dilemma. Some friends seem to think I can afford cars in the range of 16k-20k but I don't think I should get anything that is close to half my yearly salary. Fixed monthly expenses only consist of: $400 insurance for my and little brother's cars,$100 rent,$200 electricity/internet/water,$50 cellphone,~$400 food. I am trying to save as much as possible to invest and use for some side business. Can anybody please let me calculate what price car I can afford?
TL;DR: | Will be making 38k a year. What is a reasonable price to buy a car while trying to save and grow money? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Second thoughts about a relationship?
POST: Have any of you ever had second thoughts about a girl/guy, after dating for about a 3weeks?
At little detail: she once told me that usually she only dates bigger guys(4yrs older, and a bigger body) and that he is not shy about anything.
About this, I was an exception because I am shy about certain things but confident enough, same age, and a bit smaller body.
Would I be correct to assume that maybe she had second thoughts about me, that I'm not what she wants?
I can almost definitely say that we had fun in those few weeks, so that shouldn't be an issue, chemistry was there and we did get physical, so there was attraction(at least I assume so)
TL;DR: | Would you ever leave someone after dating for a few months, simply because you had second thoughts about them or because you didn't see him attractive anymore? Has that ever happened? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a healthy, 29 year old man and I can't remember the last time I got morning wood. WTF?
POST: Background: Male, 29, 6'1", 185 lbs. Pretty healthy, eat good and exercise, no heart problems or anything else I can think of that would inhibit blood flow.
Problem: As the title states, I can't remember the last time I woke up hard. I pretty much only have to pee and that's it. When it comes to sex, I can get hard but not stay hard for very long (maybe 5-10 minutes, tops). I get aroused maybe once a day, if that. It used to be I could look at a woman in a tiny bikini or a short skirt and that was all it took. Now, I practically have to sit and have laser-like focus to even get excited.
I watch my fair share of porn, but I really don't think it's a problem. I'm certainly not addicted to it, in any case.
What could be causing my problems and sexual dysfunction? I'm not even sure who to ask about this kind of thing (hence the throwaway). Any advice you could offer would be most appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | Can get it up but can barely keep it up. Don't wake up hard. Normal guy, pretty healthy. No idea what's going on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My love life has gone to shit, and I'm surrounded by live triangles/squares
POST: So I [F, 16]have had a few major crushes recently, all of which have failed. The first one[M, 16], me and my friend[F,16]both liked the same guy, so I backed off and let her have him. The second crush[M,16], two of my best friends[F 16&17] and I had a crush on the same guy, and I backed off to let the two of them duke it out.
Now for crush three[M, 17]I had a crush on this guy, and as far as I knew, none of my friends liked him either. As my crush was slowly developing, one of my friends, E [F, 16], who had told me to back off for crush two, tells me she asked crush three, C, out, and that C had said yes.
I want to support E because she has backed off for me in the past, yet I am a little hurt because she told me she had a thing for crush two, then goes amd ruins any possibility of a relationship with C for me.
At this point, I am quite disillusioned with any relationship, as my past crushes were all love triangles in which I lost. My life has become some crappy high school drama fueled with love triangles and I hate it. I don't want to be single, but in scared of putting myself out there again not to lose once more.
What should I do? Should I try to win C? Go back to two or three? Wait and see if there's anyone else? HELP!!!
TL;DR: | I'm disillusioned with relationships, how can I get back out there and maybe win in one of the love triangles it seems I am always in. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is this a ridiculous deal breaker for my [20F] 3 year relationship with my LD boyfriend? [23M]
POST: For the basic back story, my boyfriend and I started dating a year before we went long distance because I decided to go to college further north. He got a discount to go to university in our home town, so we agreed that long distance was the best option. So we have been long distance for a total of two years. These two years have been plagued by the single problem of communication. He hates technology to the point that he probably wouldn't have Internet if he didn't need it for school, so he obviously doesn't have a web cam or a phone with face time capability, leaving talking on the phone or texting as our only real communication options.
Over these two years we have had multiple fights over him never calling or, when he does call, only wanting to stay on the phone for a few minutes. The culmination of these fights is that he wants me to text him and remind him and to tell him when I want to talk longer. This seems like a fine compromise, but now he treats talking to me like an immense chore. He rushes conversations, starts talking to other people, or makes up excuses about why he doesn't want to stay on the phone. He says that he just hates talking on the phone because "it isn't personal" or "It's uncomfortable to carry it around against my head" but if I suggest him buying a Web cam, he will agree but never get around to doing it.
After two years of this, it just makes me feel like I have no priority and that I'm not interesting enough to want to talk to. But every time I go home for breaks things go amazingly with no communication problems and this makes me so confused as to whether I should make a problem we only have when I'm gone a deal breaker.
So my question is, should I just give up the nagging and wait it out until I get home from school, or is this a problem big enough to bring a break up over?
TL;DR: | My long distance boyfriend acts like communicating with me long distance is a chore, but we are totally fine when I'm home. Can't decide if I want to break it off because of this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Female redditors, would really bad/loud snoring put you off a relationship?
POST: I just went out for a 4-day city trip with my three best buddies. We shared a room with bunkbeds and I must say, I was so lucky to have my iPod with me. One of my buddies has the worst, WORST snoring habit ever. I honestly woke up once the battery of my iPod went flat.
I've been told that he IS good looking by my gf and other girls. I know he has a great character, he's funny and has the ability to chat up a girl without having to pretend or anything like that. I've known him since I was a child and I know he really wants a lasting relationship.
He has had a few relationships but none of them has lasted longer than a week or so. Always wondering why, I thought I might ask reddit if the snoring could be the issue.
Anything else set to be ok for you, would a REALLY bad case of snoring make you end the relationship before it gets too serious?
TL;DR: | My best mate is a fantastic guy but fails at relationships. I think it might have to do with his snoring habit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: My buddies and I are traveling to Chile in December. Any tips or recommendations?
POST: Hey r/travel, my three best friends and I booked tickets to Santiago, Chile in December. We're going to be in the country for three weeks including during Christmas and New Years. One of us is fluent in Spanish and the rest are Californians and can get by at an elementary level.
We want to spend at least a few days in Santiago right when we get there. I understand it's an affluent city, and can get expensive. As 4 kids just out of college, we are trying to be frugal, but are willing to splurge on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.
From what I've heard, most people have found it too difficult or rushed to visit both the Northern and Southern region of Chile and recommend tourists to pick one or the other. Because of the draw of the Patagonia region, we have tentatively decided on going South. Should we rent a car to maximize our time and freedom?
Please let us know any recommendations of where, what, and how to see the most important part of Chile. Also, some tips on what NOT to do. THANKS!
TL;DR: | Traveling to Chile in December for 3 weeks with 3 friends. Need some tips on what not to miss in this beautiful country. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] fell for my [22 F] best friend in my first year of university.
POST: Okay so this is my first time posting anything like this so bear with me!
I met this girl when I moved into my halls of residence at university (In the UK) in 2013. We are so alike in terms of the things we like and enjoy, our personalities work together when we joke around and talk or just hang out and I started falling for her really badly half way through first year. Doesn't help that she is absolutely stunning!
She then had a boyfriend who I was also really good friends with so I had no problem with that, was actually very happy for them until they finished, but I digress.
I recently returned to university to do my placement year and when on a night out with her and a load of friends last Wednesday. We got together, kissed a lot and decided that we were going to see each other.
I was over the moon, happiest I have been at university. Then she suddenly does a 180 degree on me on Saturday and tells me she doesn't want a boyfriend as its her final year at uni and she doesn't know where she will be after. I said I was okay with it but she knows I was pretty torn up about it but I wasn't going to guilt her into anything, that's not how I am.
I really want to convince her that I'm WORTH spending her final year with but I really don't know how, I don't know if she actually does like me as much as I like her or even at all but since she said she wanted to be with me, even briefly, I feel she does like me, at least a little.
I've never had these problems, or even these feelings before, so I really need your help /r/relationships!
TL;DR: | Girl I met in first year got together with me last week then did a U-turn and said she didn't want a relationship but I want to be with her if I can. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] need advice about a girl's [19 F] intentions/ If I have screwed things up.
POST: I have been hanging out with this girl over the past couple of months fairly often, 3 or 4 times a week. She always invites me over and we will just talk and hang out. We both seem to be into each other on some level, but nothing has yet happened romantically.
Fast forward to last night. I threw a party at my apartment and she came over toward the end. She said that she was quite drunk and wanted to stay the night. I tell her no problem and she goes and gets into my bed. Since we hadn't even kissed at this point, I just assume that she genuinely needed a place to stay and wasn't looking for anything more than that. So I turn off the light and tell her goodnight while I go and tend to the people still left at my party.
A little bit later, I come back into the room and have to turn on the light to put some speakers and things back on my desk. She is just laying in the bed kind of half awake. At this point, my male friend goes into my bathroom, which is located in my room about 5 feet from the bed, and starts puking up a storm from having drank so much. All this noise and light makes it so she is awake again and we are just kind of hanging out, with her in bed and me sitting at my desk. Eventually, my male friend passes out in the bathroom and she is laying in the bed. I decide to turn off the light and fall asleep on the bedroom floor.
I'm wondering if I have messed up here by not making a move by going to bed with her in the first place, before my other friend passes out in the same room. I actually am interested in her, and am now realizing how blatantly she was trying to make a move and that I kind of rejected it. I'm not sure how to proceed from this point and wonder if she will just move on. Is it appropriate to verbally bring this up with her. Should I do something for her to show that I am attracted? I'm pretty damn naive when it comes to relationships. Help!
TL;DR: | Female friend makes an obvious move which I don't act on. Is it too late to recover and show her that I do actually like her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Have a crush on best friends ex
POST: Back story, Me and four other guys meet seven years ago (We are all now 19 all freshman in college) we are all practically brothers. Anyway me and lets say his name is Paul are the closest in the group.
Paul is my problem here. So four years ago or so Paul meets a girl named lets say Lisa. Lisa is quite cool and everything. Anyway they start a relationship about a year later. Right about as I'm about to tell Paul about my secret feelings for Lisa, Paul tells me about there relationship. (FYI I wouldn't have had a chance with her then and probably not now, but I digress).
Anyway I forget about my feelings for a bit and a few other girls come into my life throughout that time and such anyway about two and a half years later (This past August) Paul and Lisa break up and that puts a strain on mine and Lisa's friendship, but we started talking a bit more lately and my feelings for her have resurfaced. While Paul is a good guy and I love him. I'm afraid if I tell him about this it will strain us if not end our friendship.(Effectively ending my group of friends friendships as well at least straining them) I'm also afraid of losing my friendship with Lisa should I tell her.
What should I do.
TL;DR: | Have feelings for my best friends ex. Want to tell them both but afraid of losing my friendship with both and pretty much all my other close friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27m] want kids soon but gf [25f] does not
POST: Hi everyone, I need some advice!
My gf and I have been dating for 1.5 years and we've brought up getting married and having kids in the future but it seems our timelines are drastically different. And our life paths are heading in different directions
Some background info: she just started nursing school after getting a bachelor's degree so it's another 2.5 years before she graduates. Afterwards she wants to do another 1-2 year master program in a different city
I graduated and have been working for 5 years now so I'm ready to make the next step in my life. Adding up the years of schooling and potentially work experience in between that, my gf might not be ready for having kids till I'm close to 33.
I just feel like it's a long time to wait for someone. My fear is that if things don't end up working out in the end, I'll have lost a number of years that were spent 'waiting'.
TL;DR: | gf has several years of undergrad/work/masters left before she wants marriage/kids but I want kids sooner than that |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can you go back to living separately after living together?
POST: 22M here. Started dating my GF (21F) 6 months ago. As a result of circumstances, she really needed a place to live after about a month and was short on options. So, while I realized it was a generally bad idea, I invited (to the point of insisting on it) her to move in with me.
I suppose my rationale for that was a combination of principle and that I really enjoy having a roommate (someone to come home to). I also am a big fan of doing foolish things merely for the experience (every mistake once, none twice is a philosophy I go by).
Anyhow, after ~5 months of living together, I really feel like it's a serious detriment on the relationship. Leads to a lot of fighting, and the lack of independence and personal space is driving me up a wall. Really preventing me from committing to the relationship fully. Perhaps because I lack outside context on what's happening, it's just become another part of my life?
So, I think it would be best for the relationship, and for my sanity, if she moved out and got her own place at the next point of convenience (she graduates from college in May, so that would be a pretty easy point). She, however, really doesn't think that it'll work out at all if that happens. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | We moved in together waaaay too early, is it possible for her to move out and us to still have a healthy relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my Girl/Best friend [17 F] known her for 10 months, cant "go further" till she meets my parents.
POST: Me and her have known each other for a few years now and last fall we started hanging out. I recently told her that i loved her and she said she to loves me, but when i asked her on a date she said that she wanted to be able to know/be comfortable around my parents.
Background on my life, I have missed church(twice every Sunday since birth) maybe 50 times, I did not enjoy going but its gonna be there till i move out. My mother came from a religious home of 12 children, pretty fucking hectic family reunions, but she has three sisters who didnt marry churchgoing men and she, (being the oldest female) had to deal with the emotional breakdown of three of her sisters. My parents are overly religious and i don't know what my mother would do if I told her that said girl was someone i wanted a romantic relationship. She has the premonition that if a woman that is not religious was my GF that it would not end well. She pesters me about getting a girlfriend(from the church) probably once a week.
Recently my siblings let said girls name slip when my parents were in earshot and my mother confronted me about our relationship status and i told her it was nothing(you may all think im retarded for that), but this was her response, "I am glad you told me, because girls like that are trouble, you know how those ended up in my family".
Last I checked I had a pair of balls, and multiple uncles with flawless marriages to non-churchgoing(sinful) women. So help me out here please, because i love this girl and I don't know what to do before i feel like its just a waste of time and she just doesn't have feelings for me.
TL;DR: | Best friend wont go further with relationship until she meets my parents, who have directly told me they do not want me to have a relationship with this girl because shes not a religious person. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: First Relationship, Me[24/M] with my [21/F] 1 year, Communication Issues
POST: So basically, this is my first relationship, and this is her most "serious" one. For a good solid 6 months at least, things between us have been a little off and on. At times, I feel like I'm putting in more than I'm receiving. For example, my availability is always open, I work a part time job and I'm currently not going to school. She works a job, but not necessarily full time, and she also isn't going to school.
She does work more hours than I do. I also currently don't have a car. I always try to talk to her, but her responses are very few and far between. I have not seen her in 5 weeks now. She always tells me she get distracted very easily and is sorry if she doesn't get back to me. But when I see her log on Facebook and chat it up with friends, then totally forgets about me, I'm left feeling confused and frustrated.
We basically haven't seen each other because of her work schedule and my work schedule. But I still think there more than enough time between there to see each other at least once a week if not more. Today I was talking to her through text (that's how we ALWAYS talk, never on the phone) and she went to the mall and bowling with her friend that I don't like (for good reason). They posted a picture on Facebook and my girlfriend said "OHH SUGAR BABY, WORK IS KILLER BUT I WILL ALWAYS HAVE TIME FOR YOU". That really pissed me off. She totally dropped the conversation with me. I haven't heard from her since, and yet shes active on Facebook.
Whenever she needs something, I'm always there for here. I listen to her, I talk to her. But when ever its the other way around, When I want to talk, or do something, its hardly reciprocated. I shouldn't have to feel like I am more likely to get response from my buddies about our relationship, than from her...
Please, if there is any questions, I would be more than happy to respond to you :) I didn't want my post to be too long so I tried to get the the point.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend hardly responds to me, yet is active on Facebook, and goes out with friends. Doesn't seem to put much effort into making time for us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My house was broken in to last night an hour after I went to sleep. Any advice?
POST: A few items were stolen from my home last at 5:13am. Pretty sure that I forgot to lock the front door(we usually just deadbolt it), so there was no forced entry. Called the cops and made a police report at around 10:30 when I woke up. I don't have an alarm, or renter's insurance...so there's that, don't bring it up please. I gave serial numbers for items I still have paperwork for. Is calling around to pawn shops and other resellers even worth trying to get my stuff back? I'm also worried that they might come back knowing they can just walk in and leave unscathed(doors will be locked up and stopped tonight, that's for sure). It was also weird that they took what they did, and left more valuable(and easier to take and carry) items where they are.
Another thing that I thought about was that my landlord is showing our house as we are moving out in July. He's only shown the house to one person so far. Do I have the right to know who he shows the house to? Could I tell him I don't want it shown anymore?
TL;DR: | House was robbed, looking for advice. Also, owner is showing house to potential tenants, what are my rights? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Have you ever broken up with someone even though you still love each other?
POST: I think that I'm in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend and it's probably one of the most painful break ups thus far because we still love each other, it's just come after a long conversation about our futures. I'm 27 and he's only 22 and while that's been fine up until now, we are sort of at a cross roads and our different stages of life mean we want different things. I know it would be for the best to break it off now so we can both pursue the things we want, but it doesn't make it any easier :( I want to get married and have kids, I can't put that on a 22 year old. Plus we are long distance and that's not changing any time soon because I'm about to start my dream job in my city and he already works a specialist job where he is so neither of us will be able to move in the foreseeable future. We have been together 8 months.
Have any of you guys been in that situation? I could use some perspective.
TL;DR: | Breaking up with boyfriend due to distance and incompatibility, we still love each other though and that makes it really hard. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33M] with a guy I'm dating [31M]: I think he has a movement disorder and I'm not sure how to proceed.
POST: I've gone out with this guy about 5 times. He's fantastic, but sometimes he moves his shoulders/head/hands in a way that makes me wonder if he's in complete control of himself physically. It's not quite Parkinson's level but it seems worse than just a simple nervous twitch.
Our dates have been 'activity' dates thus far so I'm not terribly surprised he hasn't mentioned anything. He seems to really like me, I really like him. I'm hoping he'll tell me about it soon enough when we get to that stage of a relationship, but I guess I just wanted to get some preemptive advice for how to handle it if he doesn't.
1) It's weird to me to imagine a relationship with someone where something like this is never brought up. I'm nearly sure I would get asked about it, and I'm not comfortable having a relationship where my response would be "Yeah I just have no idea" if we'd been dating for several months. Which makes me wonder if:
2) Maybe he doesn't realize he's doing it? My aunt has a pronounced facial tick and both my dad and I think she doesn't know, it's never been addressed before. I don't want to say "Hey, so, what's up with this?" and have him be like "What are you talking about?"
3) Our relationship is just starting, we've not slept together even, I'm fine not knowing right now but I know there will come a point where I do feel I want to know and I don't know how to bring that up if he doesn't. I'm 100% okay with dealing with this but I'm not okay just having no idea.
*Hopefully* he just says to me in a few dates "Oh by the way, I have ____" but I just wanted to prepare myself for what to do should that not happen, and how the best way to address that is.
TL;DR: | My new love interest has some sort of movement disorder, I'm not sure if/when/how to bring it up should he not. Anyone with any experience in this area, I would appreciate advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M28) Started Having Dreams about my First ex.. Feel like I'm being haunted for not having closure
POST: Hey everyone.. This a throw away account for obvious reasons.
About 5 years ago, I ended a relationship with my first girlfriend who was I believe 21 at the time, so that would make her about 25 now. The relationship ended extremely abruptly after she called me and said it was off. I didn't know/think there was anything wrong because she didn't communicate with me. I was still very much in love with her when she did this to me, so my world was pretty much turned upside down.
Anyway, lately I've been having dreams about her for the last few months almost every other night and the situation of the dream varies. Sometimes I'll have two dreams about her in the same session of sleep!
Do I miss her? Yeah. She was the best girlfriend I've ever had. Would I get back with her if she wanted? Absolutely, but I'm no fool either and know that probably will never happen.
I'm on speaking terms with her, but what I would really love to do is see her one last time, talk to her, and try to understand what happened. The only problem is, she lives in a different state now.
My question to all you experts out there is how should I approach this? I don't want to scare her away and I'm not looking to get back with her. All I want is a few hours of her time one last time to get some sort of closure on everything that happened all those years ago..
TL;DR: | Having dreams about first ex girlfriend of 5 years ago and don't know how to approach her in asking to meet up one last time to talk about what had happened with us since everything ended abruptly. I feel like I'm being haunted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need help- how do I end a long distance relationship respectfully?
POST: I'm 21F, he's 25M. Long story, but basically I feel that the trust is gone and want to end this nicely. But as soon as possible.
He took nude photos of me, with my permission. I later deleted them (his camera, not mine) because I felt uncomfortable with the photos. This was while I was visiting for the weekend.
I travel back home, and text to see if he wants to skype. He texted me to say he was very angry, and did not want to speak to me, because I deleted the photos. Frankly, I wanted to skype to break up: he has cheated on me. I felt ok with him having nude pictures of me before, but now the trust is gone and I'm not ok with it. The fact that I don't trust him anymore, to me, means I should break up with him.
Final point: one day in that weekend, I felt very tired. I said I didn't want to go out that night: he really wanted me to. So he told me, while I was resting, "it's fine, i'll go out, you rest." I asked him twice if he was ok with me staying in, and he said "yes" both times.
He came home angry with me, and stayed angry until about midday the next day. He says I should have known he wanted me to go out with him, and shouldn't have stayed home.
I guess what I'm saying is I would really like to end this by email tonight. Do I have a moral obligation to do this the most personal way possible by long distance: skype? I feel like he has been overly rude to me, and I am at least slightly justified in ending it through an email. No, I'm probably just really angry. Tell me if I'm letting my anger cloud my judgment, reddit.
TL;DR: | After some deal breakers from long distance boyfriend, I want to know if I would be justified in sending him an email to break it off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my S.O. [18 F] recently gotten pregnant and need advice concerning a few issues.
POST: So recently we found out my girlfriend of a year or so is pregnant. We decided to keep the child and do our best to raise it. We haven't completely decided on everything as it's real early in finding out.
So here is where the issues come in. So as I'm going to be a father here within the year I feel like I have responsibilities I have to fullfill. Both financially and on raising the child. The finances will be tight and I'm a bit worried but we'll pull through. What's bothering me though is that her friends have started to take over.
I like it that we are getting help on this and it makes things less stressful but I have an issue with one of her friends. Let's call him Shooter. Because a while ago when my girlfriend was talking with him he made a threat on my life saying he should just take his rifle and shoot me. she knows I have an issue with him because of that and brings him around every so often so I leave when he does. Recently with the pregnancy he has decided that he will take care of all her food and such making sure he will be around the entire thing making sure she eats fine. Well.... I don't want to be around anymore and have talked with her about it. She feels I should be reasonable about this asshat who wants to shoot me.
So reddit what should I do and what kind of things can I say to help
TL;DR: | My pregnant girlfriend wants her friend, who wants to shoot me, around all the time to help out knowing I'm uncomfortable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by hitting a psychotic girl's car with a frisbee.
POST: So this was actually last Friday, but I'll still tell it. So my senior class has an annual senior picnic a couple weeks before graduation. We're pretty much allowed to do whatever we want within reason, so some of us decide to start up a game of ultimate frisbee like a lot of high school seniors would do. Well we're throwing around a disc getting warmed up and a crowd of people start to form to watch us play. I'm one of the better ultimate frisbee players (not to sound conceited or anything), but like any other person, I miss a really easy catch. Some people in the crowd start laughing at me, so I think to myself, I can show you. I throw a really nice pass to a friend; this has to be the best throw I've ever had. I watch it soar through the air towards him and I'm thinking "ha showed you people." However, as it keeps flying, my friend can't quite jump up and snag it. I watch in horror as I see right where it's flying to: the parking lot of cars. I'm praying that it doesn't hit any of them, but alas it hits a car right dead on the front bumper of a truck. The alarm starts going off and everyone looks in the direction the frisbee flew from and the only one standing over there is me. I just slowly walk off as the owner of the truck, which turns out to be a psychotic girl in our grade turns off the alarm. I go to retrieve the frisbee and apologize. Luckily, she understood and we kept playing.
TL;DR: | I miss an easy catch, throw it back really well, hit a car, afraid for my life because the car I hit was a psychotic girl's car, she understood |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [23F] tell my close group of friends [20s M&F] that I'm moving 3k miles away?
POST: Disclaimer for mobile usage! Forgive me for any formatting issues.
Well, I'm moving across the country to start my life with my boyfriend on May 20th! I've been making the rounds in telling my family, co-workers, even my dentist. The thing is, I have yet to tell my closest friends.
We're a close bunch, about ten of us in total. All of us have been friends since high school (about ten years), and we all consider each other family. They have met my SO [26 M] a couple of times when he has visited me, and they have never seen me happier. They have voiced that they think he is a perfect match for me.
I've hinted to them a few times about closing the distance, but this was before it was dead set that I was going to move. Originally, we were all positive that he was going to be the one to move to me, but after some time, I figured it would be a fun adventure to move to him, along with financial reasons (everything is cheaper where he is to be quite honest, so easier to save money for our future tiny house).
With my time here in my hometown running short, I'm unsure how to tell my group of friends. We have an upcoming get together for dinner, and I was originally going to tell them during that time, but after thinking about it, I don't want to dampen the mood or make the evening all about me. We do have a group chat on FB Messenger that we use to communicate, but I feel that would be impersonal. Telling everyone one on one would be difficult do to our own personal schedules.
Any advice on how I should approach the subject with the little time I have left?
TL;DR: | I'm moving 3k miles away to start a life with my boyfriend. I have yet to break the news to my close group of friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm about to interview a "cult." What should I ask?
POST: First Let me say I was not entirely sure if this should be in AskReddit or IAmA but I decided I would post it here (as I am asking for advice.) I am a senior in high-school and in 2 days I am going to interview (and have a photo shoot) with an organization called the [12 tribes.] they are a religious organization that is based on Christian fundamentalism and Messianic Judaism. Sense the groups funding in 1972 they have been subject to various attacks from child labor law suits, to de-programing efforts. They operate out of a deli called the "Yellow Deli" and all employees there belong to the group. I have met with the members before and they appear to be extremely nice people. Personally I believe that the claims against their group are slanderous and not justified (the child labour law suits involved a son screwing in a lightbulb for his father exct) however I do want to address the "cult issue" in the interview. Now comes the question... at this moment I am having a harder time (than i thought I would have) coming up with questions for the interview. So now I turn to reddit: What would you ask a cult? (keeping in mind I wish to be respectful in my asking)
TL;DR: | I am about to interview members of the [12 tribes.] What would you ask in a situation were you were asked to interview a "cult?" |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Criminal Misdemeanor Legal Advice needed.
POST: Hello this incident took place at my university in Fairfax, Virginia USA.
So the other day like an idiot me and a couple friends thought it would be a good idea to throw a printer off a bridge. I in particular was the one to physically throw the printer.
A security guard saw us but we continued to walk while he called the police. We split up and my two friends got caught, while I didn't. They went back and cleaned up the printer and got in no trouble with the police or school. I on the other hand didn't get caught then but recently the police came in to my dorm and issued me a summon to court. It says "Warrant of Arrest - Misdemeanor" at the top.
It says I broke law "33.2-802" "dump or otherwise dispose of trash, garbage, refuse, litter, or other unsightly matter on public property or on private property without the written consent of the owner of his agent."
What advice can you give me? What should I expect in court? What should I say in court? Is there a way out of this? What penalty should I expect? Should I contact a lawyer?
Any advice will help thanks.
TL;DR: | dumped a printer like an idiot, got caught, summoned to court. Scared and don't know what to say or do. Seeking any advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by asking why my cousin wasn't at my grandmother's funeral
POST: I have to get this out somewhere, because right now I am having trouble handling this mentally. And technically this is my mom, my sister and me fucking up.
My family is a bit of the "black sheep" of our extended family. We always lived the farthest away from the grandparents, and we don't make it to every family reunion.
I was on my way up to visit my Grandma on Easter Sunday, the first time I'd seen her in years (we did talk on the phone, I'm not a monster). She died as I was driving up.
My part of the family was the last to be informed of this. All my aunts and uncles did the funeral arrangements, and on Sunday she was laid to rest.
I was asked to be a pall bearer. All the grandsons were. Well, almost all of us? The oldest grandson, we'll call Joe, was missing. His name wasn't even in the program.
At one point, my mom tried asking Joe's mom (her sister) where Joe was. She got a very, very angry reply of, "Well, he's not HERE."
It was a weird reply, but we pretty much guessed that it involved him being in jail. It's not exactly a new thing for Joe, he is known to be on the wrong side of the law often.
So we regroup as a family, and my sister and I opt to check with other relatives to try and figure out how did Joe screw up.
My mom and I then asked one of the in-laws (i.e. not one of her blood relatives). Joe was indeed in prison, for rape and murder, of one of my other cousin's friends. No one told us, and apparently all of my mom's brothers and sisters have been bitterly divided by this for the past half of a year.
Plus, my Mom's sister (Joe's mom) thinks that my mom is gloating over the fact that her son is facing a possible death sentence.
TL;DR: | Was out of the loop about family gossip, family gossip included the fact that my cousin is in jail for rape and murder. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my ex-gf[20F] broken up almost a year, and I still can't get over her and find potential in anyone else.
POST: I've been broken up with my ex for about a year now come February. I ran into her the other day at the store and we talked a little and then I texted her that evening and said it was nice to see her and she responded with the same. I asked her to goto dinner and she responded that she couldn't because her ACL was getting repaired the next day.
I asked her again today and she said that wouldn't be fair to her boyfriend. It hurts all over again. I've dated here and there since the breakup. I've seen one particular girl a few times but I just don't feel any potential.
Am I doing something wrong? I've never had to "get over" someone before. This is new to me.
TL;DR: | I still feel like I'm stuck on my ex, especially after our run-in. What are ways to get over your ex? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (27M) father (59) is going to break up with his SO of 3+ years (~60F), she have being organizing a surprise birthday party for his 60's for months.
POST: So yesterday I was speaking with my father and he told me that he was going to break up with his SO, when? I don't know, he neither.
She have have been thinking about his 60's for over a year and organizing a surprise birthday party for months, inviting family, finding a place, etc... (I don't know how much preparation it's done, I haven't participated in the organisation).
I'm the only one who knows he told it to me in confidence, one of my sisters also participated contacting family members to come. so I don't know if I should tell her. Of course won't tell to his SO.
Should I ruin the surprise party and tell him about? should I lets things flow and don't intervene? his birthday is next month. Also I don't know if he would tell me once it's done.
TL;DR: | My father (59) is going to break up with his SO of 3+ years (~60F), she have been organizing a surprise birthday party for his 60's for months. Don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] First date with girl [20 F] 7 hour date. got relly touchy. need advice
POST: Hello! so I went on a first date with this girl, we meet online and had been talking for about a month. fun date, first part lasted for about 4 hours(my best date so far - this would be my 4 date ever.) we were having fun, talking, etc. then as we walked out I asked to sit down and after a few minutes we started making out (my first kiss) it was also very intense then I got really touchy, but she didn't seem to be bother so I kept on doing it, I grabbed every body part. That lasted about 3 hours, of hugging, kissing, starting at each others eyes with a big smile, me grabbing her body. pressing my thing against her and she pressed me towards her as well. As we were walking to my car I carried her for a bit and at the same time we kissed and we also danced in the parking lot and hugged a lot. She was smiling the whole time, I could tell she wanted me to kiss her.
She was happy I was happy. I texted her that same night saying good night. I haven't heard back. I'm afraid that she thinks I only want sex from her, because I was being really touchy since I was really curious I got carried away(I never touched a girls body until that point) btw she never touched my private the whole time, just my chest, stomach, neck. I also think she believes I'm lying about being inexperience with girls, which I am not since its my 4th date. At this point, what should I do.
TL;DR: | went on a first date, i got too touchy and i'm afraid she think i only want sex. i texted her that night after the date, haven't heard back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[18M/F] with my ___ [18M/F] duration, short-description
POST: My relationship with my boyfriend (~2 years) has been great. We have had a lot of fun together and we have been respectful and honest throughout the relationship. For the past month or so there has been a change. We are shorter with each other, we aren't as physical, and we seem to be generally less excited to be around each other.
I have been considering bringing up the end-of-relationship talk. However, I am incredibly unsure if that is even what I want or is best for us. This past month of lackluster relationship could conceivably be a rut that we need to wait out. I have been unemployed for three weeks and I know that I don't feel like the best version of myself. Maybe my own insecurity is being reflected in our relationship.
He gets home in a couple hours and we will have to talk about our unfinished disagreement from this morning. He didn't sleep well so I did the morning chores so that he could sleep in. When he did get up he was short with me because I didn't make the dog a raincoat and he swears he asked me to do it weeks ago but I had absolutely no memory of him asking. I was really surprised that we were disagreeing over a silly and easily rectified miscommunication and was hurt that he was blind to the ways in which I was actively trying to make his life easier. We didn't get to finish talking it out because he had to go to work. It just seems like there has been one silly disagreement after the other that we have to work out. We never let the little stuff bog us down before.
**So my question is this, r/Relationships-** How do I know it is time to start talking about the end of an otherwise loving relationship? Furthermore, how do you end a relationship well?
TL;DR: | I love my boyfriend but we seem to be drifting apart. How do you know that a relationship has come to its most natural end? Is there a good way to end a relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How much is too much?
POST: As the title says how much is too much? I [21] M have been having girl problems [22] F for some time now with someone who has been FWB for about 3 months now. Problem is after having sex with her she completely had a 180 and progressively distanced herself with me. She claims nothing is wrong and when I ask if she still really really likes me she says she does but doesn't reciprocate those affections.
Feels like she's shut me out and has canceled/broken our last couple attempts to hang out. Shes not my girl so I cant just overreact a and make a scene out of this but its reached the end of the rope. We made plans to hang out tonight on Saturday and Sunday she said she was excited to chill. So yesterday I give her space and don't hit her up all day and today bright n early I give her a good morning and she never replied. I then follow up 6 hours later with a "are you still down for tonight" and also no response. Is this shit acceptable? I was ready to serenade her with exactly how I felt tonight but these past 2 weeks of progressive distancing have left a horrible taste in my mouth.
Should I just end whatever we have tonight if she cancels on me again or say fuck it since shes not even my girl.
TL;DR: | FWB has shut me out of her life after 2 months when we first had sex, tonight we're supposed to chill but she hasnt replied to any of my advances of communication today. End FWB or just drag it out |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't think we spend enough time together. [m18][f17]
POST: I've been seeing this person for several months now. We both go to school in different places and we live about an hour away from each other which is quite unfortunate.
I would say we both have a good time when we hang out and everything goes well. Everything's always relaxing comfortable, and I would say both of us just want things to remain that way.
We definitely both have the capacity and time to go out a couple times a week, but it's been about a full one since we last saw each other. I also find that I end up asking them out considerably more than they ask me out. Also, after not hanging out for about a week, I tend to feel pretty crappy and really feel like seeing this person. I don't really know if they feel the same way as I do, but I feel like if they don't, I'll make the logical leap that I'm more interested in them than they are in me and that's a situation that I really don't want to find myself in.
My plan is to bring this up next time we're together. The truth is I really don't want to break up, but I hate feeling like crap every couple weeks when there's a lull in the amount of time we spend together. If they don't feel the same way, I don't really know how to react to that in a way that we still stay together.
I do want to stress that I feel we have a good time when we're together. Honestly, I'm going to likely follow my own thoughts and feelings on this, but I would greatly appreciate some insight.
TL;DR: | hate feeling like crap from not spending enough time together, don't really know how to react, don't want to ask them to "compromise" and spend more time with me if they don't want to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20/m] I really this girl [20/f], but should I tell her now?
POST: So I've been going to school with this girl for the past two years now and we're graduating from college on Thursday. She broke up with her boyfriend back in December and ever since then we've been really close. We would hang out a lot and I even tried using some tricks to see if she's into me, like picking lint off of her shirt and she would do the same for me sometimes. Those kinds of things. We'd cuddle in her room and stuff, but we got into a big argument about a month ago and we've slowly been building our relationship back up. And even when I fuck up with her, she still lets me back in her life (I haven't fucked up since.) I'm pretty sure she knows I like her, but should I just tell her in person that I do? Or is it too late? Just to get it off my chest. If she doesn't feel the same way, I still want to preserve our friendship. Anyway, should I?
TL;DR: | I really like this girl, should I tell her? I want to preserve our friendship, but I want her to know. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18M] Messed up with a girl [18F] and I don't know what to say to fix it
POST: Last week I hung out with a girl that I dated off and on for the past 2-3 years. I've had feelings for her ever since we broke up but I didn't expect anything to happen.
In the middle of hanging out she said she wanted to see a movie and I said I had to go soon (I didn't but I just didn't want to see a movie). A little later I made a move because I thought maybe I had another shot (I realize it was a bad idea).
We ended up kissing a little but she pushed me away and reminded me I said I had to go soon. I told her I could stay. I walked her to her car and we kissed a little more. She ended up saying that I was looking for something and she wasn't. And just like that, I had "closure" and realized it was time to move on. She drove off and that was it.
Later I texted her because I felt like an idiot for trying to start a relationship when she wasn't interested but that in that kiss I got closure and realized it was time to move on. She told me that she felt used and that the only reason I wanted to hang out with her was to get closure. The story goes on from there.
I'm not interested in her anymore but I don't want her to be hurt. What do I say to make her realize I didn't use her and didn't just want to make out to get closure?
TL;DR: | Hung out with a girl, we kissed and she said I was looking for a relationship while she wasn't. I got closure and ended up telling her that. She thinks that I just wanted to kiss to get closure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] and her [20F] newleyweds, possible cheating? Or am I paranoid? Urgent help needed
POST: I will try to make this quick because I need to make a fast decision. My wife and I have been married for three months. We both work full time but she gets home about two hours earlier than me most nights, but for me it varies a lot. It's a 30 minute drive home but sometimes I get off at 5, other times I stay until nearly 6:30 and don't get home until 7.
I got a text today on my lunch break from her saying to text her when I am about to head home from work. I replied saying that I would probably get off at 5:30 tonight, she replied saying to text her when I am getting in the car to go home. It's nearly 5 now and I haven't replied. I keep getting this niggling thought in the back of my brain that she has another man over, and she wants me to text her when I am going home so that she has enough time to get him out of the house and hide the evidence.
It's not that I think that my wife is a cheater, but my parents are divorced because my dad cheated and it basically ruined my childhood. So even though I think it is a small chance that she would do this the ramifications of her cheating are huge. I am trying to think of why she would need to know the exact minute I get home but everything I can think of is nefarious.
Do I text her? Don't? I told her 5:30 earlier, I could take some of my work home and leave at 5 tonight, that could catch her by surprise and confirm my suspicions or settle my fears if it's nothing. Please help, I am so new at this and I feel like I am already failing at marriage.
TL;DR: | Wife wants to know the exact moment I am getting in the car to go home, I could get home 30 minutes earlier and surprise her, bad idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M20] I can't stop thinking about another girl! [F20]
POST: Hey guys, so I've got this dilemma.
I've been with my girlfriend for just about 2 years now, we met at university after the first week of me moving here, things just kind of took off, and the rest is history.
Here's the thing, I also, in the same week, met this hot girl that's on the same course as me. At first I thought nothing more of her than this hot girl who just happens to be in my same classes, and that's mostly how it was for the first year, I always felt there was something between us. Fast forward to around september/october last year, we start casually chatting now and again about classes, people, we sometimes show up at the same house parties, see eachother in town etc... It turns out she's a super cool person, super funny, and just awesome in general. She's also quite sexually open, and has made a few flirtacious moves towards me.
This has never, ever been further than just talking, but I honestly can't stop thinking about her. I'm now living with my girlfriend, just us two, so i'm not really in a position to do anything! I would never cheat on my girlfriend, I love her to bits, but I just feel like there is this tension building inside my head, and everytime i bump into this other girl, I don't know, I just keep imagining how everything would of went if I got with her instead.
Trouble is, I've never had a girlfriend before, or ever had any sort of affection from a girl before I came to university. I lost a lot of weight before coming here and that affected my confidence a lot more. I really feel like I'm missing out on seeing other people, but at the same time, me and my girlfriend are solid, and love eachother. My head is spinning! What does reddit think I should do?
TL;DR: | Been with my girlfriend for 2 years, currently living together, but there's another girl I've known for the same ammount of time, and can't stop thinking about her! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, when were you accidentally perceived as being racist?
POST: So tonight I was dropping some friends off at the train station near my house. They got to the station and I was walking back along the sidewalk entrance to the station. Two people were coming towards me on the sidewalk coming the opposite direction. One was a black guy walking towards me, and the other, behind him, was someone running full speed towards me (presumably to catch the train my friends were boarding).
I saw the guy running and to be polite I got off the sidewalk and walked a few feet from it to give the running guy clearance. I made eye contact with the running guy and he seemed appreciative. When I looked back, however, the black guy was giving me the worst look I can imagine. Basically he looked disgusted at me.
For a few minutes of my walk I tried to figure out if I knew him or had done something to him in the past. Then it hit me that from his perspective I saw a black guy walking towards me and dramatically got off the sidewalk and got back on after I was past him (they just about passed me at the same time). It probably didn't help that when I was looking at the running guy coming towards me, the black guy was almost right in front of him, and may have thought I was looking at him as the motivation for getting off the sidewalk.
I like to think he noticed the running man and pieced it together afterwards, and realized I was not avoiding him, but who knows. Now I feel a little bit like crap.
TL;DR: | Got off the sidewalk to avoid a guy running to catch his train. A black man seems to have interpreted it as me getting off of the sidewalk to avoid him. |
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