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6,100 | "safe from radiation" wtf is this. Microwave radiation is safe, probably safer than the radiation we get from the sun every day. It stops as soon as it's done. I swear some people think that microwaves use dangerous nuclear radiation to cook food. | {
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6,101 | Um, I think it was probably scripted. I don't remember. Probably was scripted, yeah. Because with Marty, you don't want to do a lot of improvising. You want to do the script as written. Because usually that's pretty good. | {
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6,102 | If you do this, make sure to occasionally rebalance the money so it looks like whichever religion is liked least in the area is the one donating the most; that will encourage people to donate more, to show they're more generous. | {
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6,103 | Some people are just born with a silver dildo in their mouth. | {
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6,104 | Romney said it better because he said it while being white. | {
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6,105 | The president of the world. | {
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6,106 | That's dope! message me on twitter and we'll work it out. | {
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6,107 | It's a miracle you were able to whip that together. Hell man, it was just beautiful. | {
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6,108 | Maybe they drove past him and splashed him with muddy water. | {
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6,109 | You incredible son of a bitch. | {
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6,110 | We will eventually take pictures of Earth with Mastcam, along with other constellations. \n\n[To tide you over, this is one from Spirit.](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/54/PIA05547-Spirit_Rover-Earth_seen_from_Mars.png)\n\n-Keri/@KeriOnMars | {
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6,111 | One of the ground rules I set with my wife when we first got together was that we not ask impossible questions like that. | {
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6,112 | This answer being >10 posts down the page shows just how much Reddit has grown. | {
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6,113 | >"The prosecution has never asked, who started it?"\n\nWell, obviously he beheaded her first... | {
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6,114 | She must've enjoyed it since she got pregnant | {
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6,115 | I feel so dumb that I only got it when I got to the "Darth Vader" part. | {
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6,116 | Your daughter's aspirations to be an astronaut beat mine. Here is a conversation that we had while driving home one day:\n\nMolly: "Daddy, if I were an astronaut and I went to Jupiter, would I get extra pay?"\n\nMe: "What are you talking about?"\n\nMolly: "Well, usually astronauts go to the moon, so if I went to Jupiter, would I get extra pay because it's out of the way?"\n\nMe: "Probably."\n\nMolly: "Yay! Then I could afford to buy a hamster when I got back!" | {
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6,117 | I am sure the average male doesn't have patients. | {
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6,118 | I think we found jimmy Fallon | {
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6,119 | I paused Supersize Me to get some McDonald's, but I don't think I was supposed to. | {
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6,120 | He was pretty popular with cougars in his younger years. | {
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6,121 | Beasts?? How big were they?!? | {
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6,122 | Just found my copy a few days ago. After 7 years, my dogs are a little thirsty but they're ok | {
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6,123 | I'm the opposite - I only brush at night\n\nEdit: I tell a slight lie. I keep a toothbrush in my desk at work for if I want to brush in the morning, but sometimes I can't be arsed. I'm getting better at brushing in the morning though. If I'm not at work that day though, fuck it. | {
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6,124 | SIR I CANT SHOOT THEM \n\nWHY NOT MAGGOT \n\nhes kinda cute c; | {
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6,125 | Did you get her halfway there?\n\nEdit: So now both of my top comments are sexual puns. I am okay with this. | {
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6,126 | Oh please tell me he got the faux wood paneling on the side | {
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6,127 | Bite my shiny metal ASCII | {
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6,128 | They're on a quest to find Molly | {
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6,129 | Need one for the mouse AMIRITE?!?!?! | {
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6,130 | I tend to go the Vanilla Ice route.\n\n"Stop!"\n\n"Collaborate and listen." | {
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6,131 | "No doc, I just lie there" | {
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6,132 | How come he don't want me, man? | {
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6,133 | I read the "raised one eyebrow" in his face | {
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6,134 | *"10/10 I'd totally bang her. Oh wait, I already did !"* Then proceed to raise hand for a fist bump. | {
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6,135 | Room for one more?\n\n*Awkwardly joins the hug* | {
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6,136 | THE REAL SWIM SHADY! Now I need a fish of my own. | {
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6,137 | If everyone knows you work back there, just start giving people knowing looks. The one that turns beet red is the masturbater | {
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6,138 | He looks like my dad, it's incredible. | {
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6,139 | I believe it's a warsh-rag. | {
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6,140 | As a male garbage disposal, I can confirm this. | {
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} |
6,141 | We will all be known as faggot. | {
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6,142 | > I once woke up with a girl I didn't know \n\nAwesome!\n\n>and two of my fingers were\n\nAw yeah!\n\n>broken.\n\nOh.\n\n | {
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6,143 | Wow, I can't wait to be the most hated person at the next party I'm at. ^just ^kidding ^I ^don't ^go ^to ^parties | {
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6,144 | They should really do a movie where the ugly person is actually ugly and end it with a bullied suicide. BUT sell the movie as if it were an uplifting tale.\nFrom the producers of "The Princess Diaries"\n*dark thoughts\n\nedit: woke up to some first-time goooold. Thank you! | {
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6,145 | I was wearing a mitten of sorts. You know, to be dignified. | {
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6,146 | "AHA! I knew you were lying, there is no uncle Jim you hack!"\n"Ahhhh I see it now. The spirits were clouded by the negative aura created by your deception." If OP's mother is mislead enough to believe in psychics in the first place, she'll probably fall for it. | {
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6,147 | It was too good not to! Though, I did tape this final note on our bedroom door.\n\n[ http://i.imgur.com/FO0qxWb.jpg]( http://i.imgur.com/FO0qxWb.jpg) | {
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6,148 | a thousand times this. shes keeping you around to get what she wants (attention, sex, dates, etc) until she can get them from someone else. break up with her now and save yourself the heartache. stop reading this right now, pick up the phone, and break up with her. \n\nyou could be all like "hey babe i figured out a way we can both be happy!" then she asks how, and you say "You can tell guys you're single, and my next girlfriend wont!" | {
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6,149 | Cheating women logic: Fucking yourself into a bad situation and then trying to fuck yourself out of it. | {
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6,150 | Maybe a little too honest? | {
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6,151 | Also, if you lose a limb, just slap the stump. Stops bleeding every time.\n\nSource: am Slap Medic.\n\nedit: My gold virginity has been taken! Thank you kindly, stranger. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta slap my gold hymen ... or what's left of it. | {
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6,152 | A look at Internet trends reveals that Reddit will be gone within the decade. | {
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6,153 | My dad passed away two weeks ago, and I'm still struggling to come to terms with it. Sometimes it almost feels like he's just not home yet (like he's back late at the office) and then reality hits me that he's really gone, and the devastation and tears set in. This is the first time I've experienced such grief and it sucks balls. | {
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6,154 | My sim had 10 charisma and a terribly unlucky love life. (His first six wives died.) He saw the grim reaper so often that their "friendship" reached 100. \n\nUnfortunately, the bastard wouldn't come to my house parties or fundraisers. | {
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6,155 | But is it a skateboard for your fingers? | {
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6,156 | > The Dr ended up writing a journal article on it.\n\nDear diary. Today work was gross. | {
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6,157 | It's okay as long as you don't refer to it as 'purple drank'. | {
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6,158 | That's really great to hear!\n\nI know how important the UI is, and that's why it's the way it is. It won't ever change from being super easy and simple. | {
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6,159 | Can't. BF doesn't exist. | {
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6,160 | The yacht was a nice touch | {
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6,161 | not when there is a russian woman inside | {
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6,162 | No, I dreamt about Michelle Pfeiffer in those days. | {
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6,163 | ☑️ STAR TREKT\n\nEdit: Thanks to you guys my comment karma is on its way to go where it has never gone before! | {
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6,164 | piano lessons! or even a cheap as free midi controller... plenty of free utilities and programs out there to start experimenting. | {
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6,165 | Your foreskin make you weak. My foreskin -- cut from me as baby! Make my penis strong and hard like Ural mountain! Not decadent and weak like soft little pink gumdrop. My penis hard like dinosaur hide. Your penis delicate like little girl pubic mound. Your penis burn from alcohol. My penis use to stir boiling cabbage and beets. | {
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6,166 | I don't think anyone sounds creepy to deaf girl. | {
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6,167 | We also have a guy who does very bad watercolor portraits if you're interested. | {
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6,168 | 100, but if the kid really wanted it and only had like 80, we'd always give it to them because who fucking cares? | {
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6,169 | {
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6,170 | Asked a kid this once, cause I was curious what he'd say. He told me "it's a refrigerator". I looked at him blankly, and asked how he could possibly have come up with that.\n\nHe looks at me like I'm stupid and says "well, when you want to save something, you put it in the refrigerator"\n\nI could not deny his logic. | {
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6,171 | Watching shit like that makes my feet tingle. I hope its fear of heights and not the diabetes.\n\nEdit: Today at least 30 men have told me about their tingling balls. | {
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6,172 | Get. The. Fuck. Out.\n\nThis is not okay behaviour | {
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6,173 | a very nice monkey suit | {
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6,174 | Of course that was on purpose.. I could blame my mobile phone for autocorrect. But this... was... on ..purse \n\nEdit: I got Gold? Wow thank you. Hope that someday i will be drone in gold | {
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6,175 | I can say with full confidence that he'd rather toss you a hardie. | {
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6,176 | Is famous\n\nParents don't care. | {
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6,177 | *DOES NOBODY HERE "WIPE TILL ITS WHITE"?!* | {
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6,178 | But then you lose out on the stereo quality | {
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6,179 | How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\n\nOne, they are remarkably efficient and not very funny. | {
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6,180 | Don't forget the existence of hills more than 9ft high. | {
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6,181 | Holy shit, that username. | {
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6,182 | my sister does this! she went to get a spray tan once and i told her it looked fake and she said "thats because it is fake" all snarky and i said "well good cause it looks like it" and then her car broke down like a week later and asked if i could drive her to the spray tanning place and i said "yeah, i guess" and i took her and she paid for me to get one too. | {
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6,183 | He was an odd fellow. He had no problem murdering millions and yet people under his rule had freedoms comparable to the many freedoms we have in today's western society. Like the fact that he didn't give a shit what religion you are and a focus on education and whatnot. | {
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6,184 | http://i.imgur.com/XPzSC.png | {
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6,185 | The internet would break | {
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6,186 | That was the best part. "Well I guess my shrill cries aren't getting me anywhere... maybe this car will help me... nope... Okay, back on bike I go. FML" | {
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6,187 | http://imgur.com/5JYah | {
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6,188 | Her parents probably still talk about the one nice boy she's dated that she fucked it up with. I've had that effect before. | {
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6,189 | I'm going to guess it was a lot less painful than the stares. | {
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6,190 | This is a real AMA... Fuck OkCupid. | {
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6,191 | This is how like 90% of stories on Reddit end. | {
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6,192 | That's a great way of putting it.\n\nSwayze fan posters, people smoking in a public building! I was around during that era and it still looks so foreign to me. \n\nHe really caught a lot of great moments. | {
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6,193 | No such post. Of all the cabinet slots in the US Government, science is not represented. It is, however, in other developed countries. The US has a President's "Science Advisor", though.\n\nI am an educator, not a politician. So I think I am at my best when I compel people to demand science literacy from their elected officials. That would make a much stronger country than me holding one post or another. | {
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6,194 | Seriously! Like, why haven't I thought of this? | {
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6,195 | Lol, I just pictured you being like, "dude, just let me suck your dick, it's the least I could do." | {
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6,196 | Now, if you kill him, you get to absorb all his powers and become even stronger in this universe. Also, you get the spaghetti and Nutella. | {
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6,197 | It's realistic. Those dudes have platypus dicks. | {
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6,198 | My speed is a bittersweet curse,\n\nIn bed I'm simply the worst,\n\nBy coming too fast,\n\nI get no more ass,\n\nBut on Reddit I'm always the first | {
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6,199 | Europeans go so hard. | {
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} |
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