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5,500 | Or: It says insufficient years, you try 3 years, then 2, then 1 and get the same response each time. You think for a moment, and then it dawns on you. You don't have any years left. This is your last one. You have no time to sell. It feels like you can't breathe, and you can imagine an hourglass with sand slowly trickling down, down, down as if your life is slipping through your fingers. | {
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5,501 | THIS GUY. THIS IS A FUNNY GUY.\n | {
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5,502 | I swear to god I can *smell* this comment. | {
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5,503 | Remember that streaker at Karen 's wedding? His dong was so beautiful.\n\nUm... No\n\nYeah me either. | {
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5,504 | They always give you that death glare like, "YOU BEST NOT BE BREAKIN THE LAW CITIZEN. I AM THE LAW" | {
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5,505 | it's pretty accurate. Thanks to heavily propaganda. People trust to russian TV for some reason and will trust anything they hear from TV. That's why Putin took under control all TV channels. People don't have choice as they receive one side of information only. | {
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5,506 | I don't even want to fight a duck sized duck. Those bitches be mean. | {
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5,507 | I can confirm this. I'm a horse shit inspector. | {
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5,508 | >Tell your boss to fuck off\n\nGOOD PLAN FELLOW REDDITOR | {
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5,509 | >until the 80s when the US blew its load and started seeing China.\n\nPOW! Right in the Kissinger! | {
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5,510 | One of my favorite illusions is Flying. It's a dream anyone can relate to. All of these illusions take many years to develop. A lot of trial and error. Sometimes we have to change paths totally, but eventually, usually, we succeed. \n\nThe flying illusion took SEVEN years to develop - to make it really credible. I wanted to make it feel real: levitating inside a plexiglass box, levitating through hoops, flying while holding a woman from the audience. | {
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5,511 | Go back in time. The world is your oyster and you can do whatever you want!!\n\n>"I'd stick legos up my arsehole"\n\nEdit: Darn it Reddit. *This* is now my top comment?! | {
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5,512 | No copy editors in 2065 apparently. | {
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5,513 | ಠ_ಠ\n\nNow that's out of the way, I saw the video like everyone else and I'm anal enough to have to actually figure it out.\n\nSadly, I'm not smart enough to do the math, but the formulas are all in the docs I linked. | {
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5,514 | was he still wearing them? | {
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5,515 | And the city's coat of arms will be a trumpet to celebrate his greatest love. | {
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5,516 | Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr | {
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5,517 | WHY YOU NO DOCTOR YET, BABY? | {
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5,518 | bullets are dumb, they see another bullet and think... "OH SHIT IM GETTING SHOT AT" then they slow down | {
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5,519 | So DeAngalo created Eminem. | {
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5,520 | I read it as John Madden.\n\nno thank you | {
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5,521 | Here's the thing. We hand out and collect the two tests separately. It should have been obvious to him right away that the guy sitting next to him had a completely different test. The tests don't even look the same. His level of obliviousness was so high, I doubt even just telling him would have sunk in. | {
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5,522 | Work from home, checking in. No pants and no bra are what keep me from taking the position upgrade that would make me have to work in the office. \n\nEdit: apparently no pants/bra equals send me your dick pics. | {
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5,523 | I feel like Reddit is very hostile towards the "1%" But I dont share the same elitist views of other rich folks so I feel if you guys got to know me, you'd like me :) | {
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5,524 | But correlation does not mean causation. Just because there is evidence to back up your "deeper meanings" does not mean the creator put it there on purpose. That's what I hated about English class. It always seemed like we were analyzing things that the author did not add on purpose but rather were discovered by readers. | {
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5,525 | *still gets rejected* | {
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5,526 | This seems like an American thing, people go hunting for any sign of racism. Which to me is almost racism in itself.\n\nI remember there was a college? football coach who said something like black football players usually have a very athletic body structure and are naturally gifted athletically...and he lost his job/forced to resign. | {
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5,527 | A sad kid\n\n\n\nEdit: officially my top comment ever. Thank you reddit. And now I will go to the science museum with my restored love for all dinosaurs, that were dug out of the ground, and could not be more real. :) | {
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5,528 | /r/relationships is full of people that don't understand. | {
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5,529 | Am I getting paid to do this? Is this how I make my money back? | {
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5,530 | This feeling is too real. | {
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5,531 | 2008 I had used marijuana for the prior 3 years to deal with a serious paragliding accident. | {
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5,532 | I like to call that the "Nancy Grace". | {
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5,533 | God. That is just classic her. | {
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5,534 | It's Halloween today? That is really good timing. | {
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5,535 | Fuck. It didn't occur to me that this just could have been the first time I heard her tell the story and not the first time she's told it. | {
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5,536 | In other breaking news, the sky is blue | {
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5,537 | As an American, I can confirm the validity of this statement. | {
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5,538 | That kid looked well behaved to me. Appearances can be deceiving I guess.\n | {
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5,539 | If I saw somebody carrying this IRL my first thought would be "How high am I right now?" | {
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5,540 | Disbelief lol which makes it fun to talk about | {
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5,541 | Then you sir, are a good-looking bastard. | {
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5,542 | How much of a cunt to you have to be to think that doing shit like that to other peoples property is acceptable. | {
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5,543 | Or tasting like a dead fish | {
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5,544 | My mind is telling me no...\n\nBut my body. My body is telling me YEEAYYEAASSS | {
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5,545 | when you get just the right stream and stand at just the right angle, no-hander feels badass | {
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5,546 | Wholeheartedly. That's a scary thought. Makes me thankful | {
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5,547 | http://imgur.com/Xsn3u.jpg | {
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5,548 | Relevant xkcd: http://xkcd.com/799/ | {
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5,549 | It's nice to know that congress can fuck themselves on occasion. | {
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5,550 | To be fair he typed it one handed with the video on repeat. | {
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5,551 | Of course that's a thing. | {
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5,552 | I read that as "...father in law is a vegetarian..."\nI was a little confused. | {
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5,553 | >didn't plan ahead\n\n>family of 12\n\n\nAre you sensing a pattern? | {
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5,554 | Really? My first instinct was to stick my duck in it. | {
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5,555 | The comment is coming from inside the house. | {
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5,556 | The same with elevators. | {
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5,557 | My only problem with LOTR. \n\n"What business do an elf, a man, and a dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly."\n\n"We track a party of Urukai westward across the plain. They've ^taken ^two ^of ^our ^friends ^captive." \n\n"They did what?" \n\n"^They've ^taken ^two ^of ^our ^friends ^captive." \n\n"SAY WORDS! DON'T JUST MOVE YOUR LIPS!" | {
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5,558 | How about perfectly smooth armpits on ladies in the medieval period? | {
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5,559 | It is the understanding that things still exist when you aren't looking at them.\n\n^(<edit> \n Yeah I know people, quantum mechanics. This was an ELI5, and the observable/unobservable actions, plus the unpredictable nature of photons don't fit into a simple explanation. For all intents and purposes, lets say that this definition only applies to what can be observed with the naked eye. \n</edit>) | {
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5,560 | This would surely result in immediate, accidental, self-dismemberment. | {
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5,561 | The invention of the universal remote changed everything. | {
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5,562 | Like he'd give a shit about your rocks. Dude tanked a meteorite to the face. | {
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5,563 | DO YOU WANNA BUILD A DANISH | {
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5,564 | I'm sure your mom hears that a lot. | {
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5,565 | I think that's exactly what the terrorists want, a full out war, muslims vs everyone else. I bet they're elated, seeing stuff like this happen. | {
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5,566 | Hello? 911? Yes I'd like to report my neighbor, they made a very clever mousetrap! Please come arrest them! | {
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5,567 | http://imgur.com/a/5xCqv | {
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5,568 | http://i.imgur.com/TJfBl.jpg | {
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5,569 | If one existed then they would definitely be in jail.\n\nObligatory Edit: Thanks for my first gold, stranger. You made my day! | {
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5,570 | http://imgur.com/n1nrI | {
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5,571 | I certainly acknowledge the existence of priviledge, but I hate it when people use it as a way to invalidate one's opinion. I may be priviledged but I'm allowed to have opinions related to race, gender, class, etc. | {
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5,572 | Not to mention the scholarships that would come your way when you are 12 years old applying to MIT and even if you do not have scholarships, your future knowledge would make you rich enough to afford any school you could get into. | {
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5,573 | And we would call it The Orphan-Win-Free Show | {
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5,574 | Shooting at things that are not white? | {
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5,575 | http://imgur.com/huJr0 | {
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5,576 | Flavors go into the Flavor Graveyard if they don't sell enough. If people aren't buying enough of a particular flavor, they go to an early grave sometimes. And it's funny because my particular favorite flavor happens to be in the graveyard. Ben's too! | {
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5,577 | http://imgur.com/2vLGs | {
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5,578 | I died.\n\nThis comment has killed me and now I'm dead. | {
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5,579 | "It's got a nice beat, and you can dance to it." | {
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5,580 | Like [this?](http://i.imgur.com/hltzS26.jpg) | {
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5,581 | The next time it happens, you should stare at the wig on the ground and frantically start patting your head like all your hair made a combined effort to leap off of your head. | {
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5,582 | I don't want to say this, but is in Springfield. It is called Moe's. | {
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5,583 | I'm... I'm not even sure who I feel more sorry for in this situation. | {
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5,584 | They couldn't pay me to take a tour of Detroit. | {
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5,585 | That is almost too ironic to be real. | {
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5,586 | Welcome to the internet. We calculate the miles of suspenders Larry King owns. | {
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5,587 | I wonder if people that have an IQ that high think about regular stuff like buttholes and sandwiches and stuff. | {
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5,588 | "Tell that crazy Jolly Rancher story you told me last week!"\n\nEdit: Great now my highest rated comment ever is a reference to the Jolly Rancher story. | {
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5,589 | What if you search the opposite? Porn child.\n\nIm imagining a 8 year old with leather clothes on, a Hulk Hogan mustache and a cigarette\n\n | {
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5,590 | I was 16, I was a bit of an arsehole, I didn't realize how small the world can be. | {
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5,591 | Maine is the Alabama of New England. | {
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5,592 | Go get her, ya dingus! Sounds like she's still dropping hints | {
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5,593 | Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't. I respect that especially. I think I know to whom you refer, certain newscasters (?). When they ask odd questions, it generally means they're asking from their own experience. They have something on their mind(s). I work to respond to that. | {
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5,594 | 25k upvotes on /r/rawwr | {
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5,595 | Why am I not surprised that out of a random battlebots image, not one, but BOTH robot designers/builders are on reddit? | {
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5,596 | When I was really young, the nurse used to always tell me before shots that it would hurt a lot. That grown-ups usually leave crying but she thought I was probably tough enough to handle it. \n\nI'd feel like sharp pinch but be fine and walk away feeling like I was a fucking war hero. | {
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5,597 | Gets photo with Seth Rogen. Camera is blurry. | {
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5,598 | This is 10X more epic than the truth. | {
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5,599 | Yep, the 80s were weird... | {
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