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409,400 | "You can fit another finger in, I know you can!" \n-Every man | {
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409,401 | YOU FORGOT THE HOT BLONDES. | {
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409,402 | They aren't? The actors over at RedTube are REALLY good. | {
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409,403 | Absolutely positive he's not, maybe at one time, but that probably ended years ago. Their relationship is incredibly irregular (To say the least). | {
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409,404 | TIL that a "sexual health nurse" is something real, not just a porno character. | {
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409,405 | If people keep reading them I'll keep making them :) | {
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409,406 | Remember when console gamers signed a petition to keep GTA V from coming to PC?\n\n[Buttmad = very yes.](http://i.imgur.com/L0ov3wQ.jpg) | {
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409,407 | Some cookies and muffins.. that are still warm from the oven! | {
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409,408 | Goddammit, out of toner *again*? Will you morons stop faxing entire horses!\n\nLook, this one came through pure, shiny white! Better hope it can outrun predators! | {
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409,409 | It's refreshing to hear someone give credit to an ex and the step dad. Usually you just hear bitterness. | {
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409,410 | I would call the families direct victims but yeah. | {
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409,411 | i do this on accident sometimes. :( Really trying to stop.\n\nEDIT*** But to be clear, I think I got into the habit as a way to relate to the issue that the person is talking about. Once I realize I have done it, I try to whip it back around to the topic we were originally discussing. Is this a legit way to make up for it?\n\n\nEDIT *** Shit, I just did that to this thread didn't I... sorry, you were saying? | {
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409,412 | Hmm, yes, perhaps some sort of final solution is in order. | {
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409,413 | >I survived it but was not so lucky\n\nStorytime? (If only you feel comfortable sharing) | {
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409,414 | Best for the franchise. Everyone is always saying how important o-line is | {
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409,415 | Nice try, Conspiracy Keanu! | {
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409,416 | That's because you can't erase the other 4%. | {
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409,417 | Other than the films themselves... no.\n\nFor instance, near the end of BTTF1, when Marty is getting ready to race down the street to catch the lightning strike from the clock tower, the Delorean won't start. At the same time, Doc is flying around in the hover Delorean from near the end of BTTF2. The second he gets struck by lightning (and is sent back to the 1880s), the Delorean that Marty is in during BTTF1 starts right up and he's able to go on. | {
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409,418 | She'd have to explain how she got away from him. | {
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409,419 | whywhyWHY do people do that? Lie in such an obvious and ridiculous way?? It makes me angry because it seems like they think the people they are telling it to are stupid enough to buy it. | {
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409,420 | 1,000,000th visiitor?\n\nSure I'll claim my prize!\n\n[Edit: bah, aFlyingGuru beat me to it.] | {
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409,421 | I would suck a dick for that truck. | {
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409,422 | You are what we call a Lazy-Gay. | {
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409,423 | >because in his hand was a broken umbrella\n\nI missed the word "in" the first couple times I read this. Made the following lines read like a scene out of some fucked up Japanese post-apocalyptic horror movie. | {
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409,424 | Someone who travels regularly on light rail. | {
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409,425 | You. You made it all better. | {
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409,426 | Pfft, asking reddit if they recognize a scene from CS is like getting a monkey hard and wondering if it'll touch itself. I haven't played this game in 9+ years and I still recognize this! | {
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409,427 | One would assume the mistake was that he clicked on Photo Booth, at which point he saw this image and decided to take the photo because it was funny. \n\n\nEDIT: Spelling | {
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409,428 | But only at night. Otherwise they'd get burned. | {
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409,429 | It's not really a mission, but rather a destiny though. \nThey clearly say there's no way back, people will live and die there. | {
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409,430 | > Gender dysphoria is not something to take lightly.\n\nReddit has a long way to go here. | {
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409,431 | This is the best possible response when someone tells you they shit their pants. | {
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409,432 | that's historical reagan, not mythological reagan. | {
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409,433 | Sometimes I would. Most of the times I signed off if this was something minor. I didn't want to bother. | {
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409,434 | Saw it in half? You're thinking too small. Disguise it slightly and call the police, get the bomb squad to come and blow it up with a controlled detonation. | {
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409,435 | Red Army = Zapp Brannigan \n"You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shut down." | {
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409,436 | You don't have to register as Democrat to vote Democrat, and vice versa. | {
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409,437 | No dinner until you reach Exalted rep! | {
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409,438 | WE'LL DO IT DRY!\n\nEdit: wow, I didn't feel good after making that joke. Some jokes make you feel good after you put them down... this is not one of them. | {
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409,439 | > To some people, it makes a vas deferens\n\nFTFY | {
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409,440 | Yes! This is such an amazingly apt description of how horribly stupid that plot was! | {
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409,441 | It will get better.\n\nI promise you. | {
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409,442 | It couldn't be worse than changing lanes accidentally, done that once\n\nRemember the family guy episode where Peter banged his knee? Well that was her with her hand on her ass | {
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409,443 | If I understood even half of what you said, I wouldn't be a Whiterun guard. | {
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409,444 | I choose to believe you.\n\nYou have 12 hours to deliver. | {
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409,445 | Funny thing, my dad told me my dog I always loved got sent to that farm.\n\nHe then told me weeks later that a snake bit her on the farm and died, so I guess it was a real place after all. | {
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409,446 | And if you died, she would eat your toes first. | {
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409,447 | Especially if you are so self conscious about it that you request to be photoshopped bigger. If carrot top can do it, fucking anyone can do it. | {
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409,448 | I'm sorry Officer I... I didn't know I couldn't do that. | {
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409,449 | Holy shit im a massive whore. | {
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409,450 | God, I love it when I run into you. | {
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409,451 | Artest has some serious mental problems. The same thing happened after the Malice at the Palace. \n\n[Stephen Jackson: After we calmed down, [Artest] looked at me like, "Jack, you think we going to get in trouble?" Jamaal Tinsley fell out laughing. I said, "Are you serious, bro? Trouble? Ron, we'll be lucky if we have a freaking job." That lets me know he wasn't in his right mind, to ask that question.](http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7612311/view/full/an-oral-history-malice-palace) | {
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409,452 | >I think I got semi-molested; but whatever.\n\nOne of the greatest sentences I've ever read. | {
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409,453 | He's an authority on garnering massive amounts of negative karma. | {
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409,454 | Thanks miner. I suspect there are other guys like me with $100K or so ready to invest. I think there will be tons more volatility before there is a true bottom, but it's interesting here for sure. | {
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409,455 | Marriage is a public commitment. I dont need proof from the government to prove my love for my wife. That piece of paper isnt our marriage, our love and life together are. | {
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409,456 | Glasses on, hair down. Have we tried up, off? | {
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409,457 | That's the best euphemism for sex I've heard all day. | {
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409,458 | I frowned, looked deep into my soul. This had never even been proposed before.\n\nI looked for the social pressure, the confused acceptance, but it wasn't there. I looked for the oppressed dissatisfaction, but instead I found exuberance. Pure joy, and a happy little place in my soul where ATAT's stomp all day. \n\nSo, having done my research, fuck you. | {
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409,459 | This should be higher up. A company would not give away a million dollars for one exploit, no one trusts their code that much. I found the whole "million dollar an exploit" thing a little odd because the highest previously I had been aware of was Google offering 20k for people at the pwn2own competition. | {
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409,460 | Now attempt to remember and use this, but jumble the shit out of it.\n\n"Well I'm a cunt and I know you're a gynecologist I see.. Fuck.." | {
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409,461 | Because picking lice off of your face is probably not very much fun. | {
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409,462 | I deleted that dude, never changed his profile pic. | {
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409,463 | Shit, good point! [Fixed](http://i.imgur.com/hVTX0.jpg). | {
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409,464 | No, it will be released from space. | {
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409,465 | From experience this works way too well. | {
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409,466 | You hopeless romantic, you. | {
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409,467 | And Canada won't either... | {
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409,468 | that is the best slut inslut I've heard in a long time. \n\nNinja Edit- realized my typo. leaving it. it belongs here. | {
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409,469 | Making a Silmarillion movie would be like trying to make a movie about the Old Testament. | {
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409,470 | "hunky-dory" always sounded like a Korean restaurant chain to me.\n\n*Hunki Dori* | {
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409,471 | Similarly, Sloan has tons of great material. | {
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409,472 | Because the adults are working now. | {
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409,473 | *and* cell phone use! | {
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409,474 | Hissed? You mean like a cat?\nPlease, you have to upload a picture of your highschool self. | {
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409,475 | Second, stop trying to grow balls. | {
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409,476 | So does my sorority!!! Though, occasionally we go a little crazy and play Puerto Rico. | {
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409,477 | ...Why is there an army of clowns behind him? | {
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409,478 | 86400 seconds in a day. Average name might take 2 seconds to say. That is 43200 names in a 24 hour reading. At that rate, it'd take you 140 days to read all the names of everyone who died in the Holocaust. | {
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409,479 | "Holy shit, *all* of that was in the deleted scenes?" | {
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409,480 | what the fucks a halocaust?\n\nedit: He changed it back. | {
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409,481 | You played DOOM before you could read?\nಠ\_ಠ\n | {
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409,482 | It's quite strong, actually. America and Australia have been close allies at least since WWII.\n\nI think the U.S. values Australia as a stable democracy in the Pacific, and Australia wants to keep the U.S. around in case shit with China turns sour. | {
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409,483 | Back in our day we had to make use of simple things like computer games to keep us happy. We had none of this marble technology. | {
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409,484 | I don't understand what the hell you guys are talking about and why this bullshit is getting upvoted. Players get suspended for driving drunk and beating women, which is a much more serious punishment than fines, which is appropriate because what Lynch is doing isn't nearly as serious as those things. \n\n\nWhat the fuck is there a chlorine gas leak in here? | {
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409,485 | just like "your mom" is a subset of "whore" | {
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409,486 | It gets me so mad. As a rape survivor (3 years this fall), it is so important for me to know that my consent is TAKEN seriously. If a guy even questions it he is not worth my time. It's kind of how I filter through the good and bad guys. Even if a guy is not interested in dating you and just wants a one night stand he should be respectful if you do not want to. AND this is not a hate session I have met and know so many guys that are really respectful and totally fine with not doing anything. | {
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409,487 | Once you go solid, you can't go hard. | {
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409,488 | I second this. Its like being sick on vacation. Yeah you're still in Disneyland, but you don't feel like eating or going on the rides. | {
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409,489 | Why would a crab own a restaurant that serves crab meat? | {
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409,490 | Yeah but the savages don't know who she is. | {
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409,491 | Followed immediately by a bunch of smaller than normal animals with the title "I know how much you love big animals but take a look at this little guy!" | {
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409,492 | That could be a really good advertisement for a Ford dealership. Park that car in a showroom with a blown up image of it's odometer and a sign that reads "And it still runs". | {
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409,493 | http://i.imgur.com/yTPIr.png | {
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409,494 | What you mean that male model with all the jager stuff isn't a real redditor! | {
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409,495 | I too, feel that "Q" is an underused letter. From this daq forth I shall use q whenever I feeq like it. | {
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409,496 | My favorite was when him and Jack and Kate and Hurley go back in time and find the different Dharma stations while they're still active. | {
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409,497 | "YOU HAVE INDEED BEATEN ME IN A STEADY MID-TIER MACRO GAME. YOUR CONTINGENT OF MARINES IN MY BASE HAVE DONE SERIOUS ECONOMIC DAMAGE IN YOUR FAVOUR. I AM IRATE AT SUCH VILE REALISATIONS AND THINK YOU MAY CONCERN YOURSELF WITH THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY" | {
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"flagged": true
} |
409,498 | I agree. If she's still willing to have my inferior ass afterward, then I must be doing something right. And it's clearly a cost-benefit analysis I can't be mad at: Sex with JGL vs not maybe pissing off your BF. What would you do.\n\nEDIT: It was kind of a joke, guys. My self esteem is doing just fine, thanks. | {
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409,499 | And in some cases, she really means it when she storms away. If you follow her, she might call the cops. | {
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"harassment/threatening": 0.00008066953887464479
},
"flagged": false
} |
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