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408,500 | *breathes*\n\n"only tru carbon-based organisms will get this | {
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408,501 | You're right, birds should be for eating only. | {
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408,502 | Also no one's nipples are that low\n\nSource: Nipples | {
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408,503 | THIS IS FREEDOM COUNTRY. We will not pick just one. \n\nMURICA! | {
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408,504 | You forgot about money. | {
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408,505 | Came for the zoolander references, was not disappointed. | {
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408,506 | As an 18 year old, straight male, I am confident enough to say Golden Girls is the shit | {
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408,507 | Dude, she does *everyone.* | {
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408,508 | I'm gonna guess heartfire because A) What purpose can clay have other than building houses? And B) Since this is a picture of a tv, that means this person is playing console and therefore couldn't mod, and PS3 doesn't have Dawnguard, so it has to be heartfire. | {
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408,509 | Wow, talk about living up to your username! Well done sir, well done. | {
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408,510 | That is so elaborate and clever I wouldn't mind being a victim. | {
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408,511 | Once again, probably posted by a 14 year old. "Ewww a blowjob." | {
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408,512 | I spilled muscle milk on my laptop once. RNow t types lke ths f R don't hve n exteRNl keyboRd plugged n. Anyway, it was worth it because my processing is so much more powerful now. | {
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408,513 | ASHLEY, THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS | {
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408,514 | I'll give it a shot. 'Greetings ol' chap, fancy a bit of Acker in yer Kiki?'\n\n...shit. | {
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408,515 | Well yeah it's more like we were all so accustomed to responding to the certain lines with our own lines none of us really stopped to think "Wait... it's not supposed to go this way..." and just kept going. There was some anger backstage after that one lol | {
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408,516 | Please get the recording done before you burn the house down pls dyrus <3 | {
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408,517 | Football, or American (padded all over the place) Football? They're different speeds. American Football is measured in "half-time shows."\n\nThe Lambo was going 2.76 Beyonces in the video. | {
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408,518 | *Which direction we are going...* | {
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408,519 | >Then the conversation turns into a bragging contest of who's got the brightest/most talented kid. \n\nDo people really do this? I have kids and talk about parenting with coworkers all the time, usually we just talk about what a god damned shitshow being a parent is.\n\n"oh yeah so my kid knocked two teeth out at the playground last weekend"\n\n"our vacation was ruined by a trip to the ER because my daughter stepped on beach bonfire" | {
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408,520 | i actually wouldn't mind it for normal browsing to be honest. | {
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408,521 | that is way less weird than I imagined it to be this whole time. I was thinking something like (protip: NSFW) [this](http://i.imgur.com/vlAIE.jpg) | {
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408,522 | Yeah! The only problem is that you can't actually hear the crowd shouting "Ghostbusters!" - but I'm sure that that is only a problem with the recording, and that you could hear them at the event. | {
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408,523 | > redditor for 1 year\n\nI'll allow it. | {
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408,524 | That was my thought process too, brobeans. | {
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408,525 | You're welcome? You make me see that and you say "You're welcome"??? | {
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408,526 | Not an immigrant, just a random visitor.\n\nThe tipping-as-wage culture is a relly bad idea. This means you can "employ" a metric shitton of people, doing absolutely nothing useful and often being downright annoying, and pass the burden of wages onto the so-called guests.\n\nSorry, folks, but if there is a guy in the shitter opening the door for me and expecting a tip I will pay the dude a dollar but also make a note to never return to that particular establishment. | {
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408,527 | *My conclusions state that we need OP's teacher to tell OP directly "turn me on" and get it recorded on video. It will then be sufficiently awkward.* | {
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408,528 | Berlin was like that one friend with all those crazy stories that borderline on unbelievable, who is covered with tattoos and looks intimidating but is one of the nicest people you'll know and you'd never hesitate to introduce him to your parents. | {
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408,529 | If she grabs you and yells "get over here!" you have a winner. | {
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408,530 | Nice thoughts courtesy of YouStupidCunt. | {
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408,531 | This would be the best comic book superhero ever. | {
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408,532 | I played 3.02, but have no interest in 3.5.\n\nIt's unfortunate Smash 4 came out at the same time, I'm currently more invested in it (Sm4sh) and Melee.\n\nOne of the reasons I've been more busy with Smash 4 is because other Smash community members are Melee-centric.\n\nAll I can say on the matter is that it seems the Japanese aren't the same as America when it comes to mods of intellectual properties.\n.\n.\n.\n.\n.\n.\nEdit: this is a copy/pasta | {
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408,533 | They were probably satanic glyphs or something similar. Gingers have no soul.\n\nYou did the safe thing. | {
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408,534 | This was just...Wow. That got my heart racing. | {
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408,535 | No such thing, that's a myth. | {
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408,536 | Was it a no-put-down shelter? | {
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408,537 | Yes. A rock called adblock | {
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408,538 | Skin flap to let new tissue grow and be repaired with adequate bloodflow. Looks like they've moved some flesh over his nose and are letting it heal, before they sculpt a new one. | {
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408,539 | Do you honestly think that people will use this technology responsibly, and they will not print kittens to excess?\n\nHave you not considered the fact that kittens, which will eventually become cats, are simply awaiting the day that their numbers are greater than ours and they can finally fulfill their dream of being able to eat us *before* we die? | {
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408,540 | Not to mention that if you really start to care about someone you try to get them to quit. And that is a fucking nightmare. | {
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408,541 | **Thdgti** *[th-id-guh-tee]*\n\n1. Announcing to a room that the toilet seat you just used was already warm when you sat down (especially when there's no one in the house).;\n\n2. Of or pertaining to the act of "Thdging". That is, creating an atmosphere of discomfort when announcing that someone has "Thdgt'd".;\n\n3. To perpetrate the act of "Thdgt".;\n\nFrom the Old English *Thid* (To sit) and the Greco-Roman *Guti* (uncomfotable warmth). | {
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408,542 | Agreed. My love of electronic music is not founded on taking drugs, nor is my taking drugs founded on electronic music. But when the two come together it can be a glorious thing. | {
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408,543 | SHUT UP FAGGOT\nEdit: Why does this account have more karma than my real account and I downvote myself. :'( | {
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408,544 | Actually, it is: \n\n"Open your eyes. I see \nyour eyes are open" \n\nnot that that is so much better, but in their defense Erasure is generally a very light-hearted and kind of silly group. Have you heard their other stuff? Not exactly the most serious. To give you an idea, Vince Clark left Depeche Mode in, like, 1983 because he felt that they were getting "too dark." | {
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408,545 | >Charitable Contributions: $480\n\nTell me this is a typo. | {
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408,546 | He said "type" of feminist, implying that he only thinks a subset of feminists do this. If feminists can say that a subset of men are chauvinist, I think that this criticism is equally valid. | {
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408,547 | Seriously. He looks like a got a damn bike frame for an upper body. Just screams "pile muscle onto me" | {
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408,548 | CODE MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT? | {
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408,549 | It looks more like a good picture IMO rather than her actually being attractive, but that's just an opinion. | {
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408,550 | That commercial made me rage because it was so stupid. Then I found out that they were repeating themselves because they can't legally say anything else. HeadOn is a homeopathic remedy that does nothing. \nEdit: I accidentally a few words. | {
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408,551 | Yes, because as an adult the best course of action is obviously to undermine the parenting of your peers, and to gossip about your kids' friends parents. Stay classy. | {
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408,552 | The real joke ends with "hexed by halitosis." | {
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408,553 | And /r/WTF is the new /r/funny | {
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408,554 | Especially when it's socks! God because morning TV shows are so rich in content and are really the highlight of the TV day | {
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408,555 | They love it ! Saw the movie a few days ago, kids and adults loved it. Paddington is really cute in motion, and it's a really funny movie.\n\nMight be biased though, I worked on it. Spent 6 month doing that goddamn fur and duffleCoat | {
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408,556 | Two in the Hot Pocket, one in the shit socket. | {
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408,557 | IS THAT A QUESTION? Of course you're right, you're a jerklecirker. | {
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408,558 | Frankly, no. She was a really clever girl, taking after her mother. I don't think she thought it through, tho. I met the mother afterwards, and apparently she and the father had broken up. Never knew why that happened. | {
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408,559 | Well. I think I can finally go ahead and say that yes, perhaps Duct Tape CAN be used for everything... | {
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408,560 | Having fucking Neymar and Suarez besides him probably helps as well | {
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408,561 | Just address it with one of the ghostbusters asking Sam Venkman, "Did you do something with your hair?"\n\nAnd then never bring it up again. | {
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408,562 | Neither can the rest of reddit. | {
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408,563 | IT MEANS SOMEONE WHO DOES SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET NOW. WORDS CHANGE BRO.\n\nalso i am a moron. | {
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408,564 | You guys are so gonna make out. | {
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408,565 | that's great! not that they don't already look fabulous, of course. | {
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408,566 | Translation: They (we) killed over 80 civilians to get one dude... wow. | {
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408,567 | It sucks because you are both right. | {
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408,568 | That's like a 1000% increase. | {
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408,569 | Look, if you want to tell people how they should spend their money you join the government. | {
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408,570 | WHO THE FUCK LACED THIS COKE WITH SPIDERS! | {
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408,571 | Yes, the motorcycle is running great now. | {
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408,572 | Oh right, so it's a load of bollocks. Got it. | {
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408,573 | You thought this was common knowledge? | {
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408,574 | I whispered this to each of my children the first time I held them in my arms. | {
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408,575 | shhh he has provided some of the best drama all year on here dont ruin it! | {
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408,576 | I hate catchy choruses and im a hypocrite... hungry hungry hypocrite | {
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408,577 | My parents are immigrants. You got a problem with people and they're making you feel like shit? Beat the crap out of them. | {
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408,578 | I'll get you going anytime ;) | {
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408,579 | i don't blame you, the air max ltd you had on are pretty fresh | {
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408,580 | Why is this getting down voted? Gasoline is a non polar solvent. It's exactly what you want | {
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408,581 | HEY YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! | {
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408,582 | Wait is this a hey Arnold reference? | {
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408,583 | >I sent her a text back that said, "**what** the hell is this?"\n\nFTFY | {
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408,584 | Wait it was a trilogy? | {
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408,585 | The Terry Funk of the acting world | {
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408,586 | This needs to be top reply. This is how I believe time travel actually works. Nothing can actually be changed with time travel because it wouldve already happened from the future you. | {
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408,587 | Show me a stoner that thinks this isn't absurd. | {
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408,588 | You're not a true atheist until you've tried some California Stew. | {
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408,589 | This is not quite true, for reasons that should be obvious if you consider that there is no privileged "rest" frame of reference. The earth is orbiting where the sun would have been if it had kept moving in the same frame of reference it was in eight minutes ago, more or less. | {
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408,590 | I like to fart in the bathtub while forming a cup with my hands to catch the bubbles then hold it there for as long as I can. I don't know why I just told everyone that. | {
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408,591 | So he could claim to be bigger. | {
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408,592 | Unless the helium is in a hydrogen filled chamber. | {
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408,593 | 2:24 intelligent, shes jungling ahri!\n\nhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtILxBszyf8#t=02m24s | {
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408,594 | Thank you for allowing FBI Watchlist to use your personal info! We are sending a special gift to your residence now. Enjoy. | {
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408,595 | I unzipped my pants for this. | {
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408,596 | The track is called Doomsday by Nero in case you were wondering. | {
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408,597 | Was your cousin a naked woman? | {
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408,598 | This is like some amazing Reddit Justice League meeting we are all witnessing. | {
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408,599 | I had to unsubscribe from that as a default sub. Reddit is about 2x better now. | {
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} |
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