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408,300 | Holy. Fucking. Shit. | {
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408,301 | Also their SSN and porn collections. Just ask to see them naked and take pictures. Nothing to hide, nothing to fear. | {
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408,302 | Are you sure it wasn't a sword? | {
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408,303 | {Goodbye, sweet prince.} | {
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408,304 | >"Farmers were given human ash as fertilizer" (from the video)\n\nTHE FUCK. | {
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408,305 | Alas, those did not accompany me into adult life. | {
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408,306 | "Dear Kim, fucking stop scanning upside down! Our faxes go to pdf and it takes effort rotating the image. Look at the illustration on your fax machine. It says which way is up." | {
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408,307 | Just as long as we are still the only left facing bird team. | {
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408,308 | It's really awesome to see as a fan of the game. He looks so happy and comfortable, I wish that some other players' transitions throughout the league were this Amazing. | {
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408,309 | yeah the guy with the mustache is kind of a dick. | {
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408,310 | And then he was added to the Sexual Offender registry, right. Right?? | {
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408,311 | There's an app for that. | {
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408,312 | Holy shit, that's awesome. I didn't know about that. | {
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408,313 | I honestly do not understand what is notable about this video. | {
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408,314 | You can put your weed in there man. | {
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408,315 | You're gonna need a conch. | {
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408,316 | >It's the Internet... ideas aren't original. It's all in execution. \n\nYou get it man. Every time a "redundant" product is released and commenters scream "why would i want this vs [insert product]" I get frustrated. Sometimes it's just the implementation or the UI or the ease of use. I wish you success. | {
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408,317 | THEY GLOW IN THE DARK | {
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408,318 | the less I know about Voldo's backstory, the better. | {
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408,319 | I hope this doesn't get lost in the comments, but I'm Alex from the letter. I posted this to YTMND years ago and the response has been quite amusing. | {
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408,320 | Reminds me of the times of television shows that had copyrights and numbers at the end of each show. During the late 90's it was a nightmare to look at:\n\nMCMXCVIII = 1998\n\nMM = 2000\n\nMMX = 2010 | {
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408,321 | I hard a had time believing when he was discussing that she was supposed to be seducing another man from a woman after setting them up.\n\nEDIT: Fixed Typo cause I hard a hard time. | {
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408,322 | No, he was covering for me, and I was going to cover for him when I got back. Poor kid. I had a long talk with him about it afterwards. He was more worried about the guy coming back for him than anything else, which is why he quit. I still felt extremely guilty about the whole thing, but he's told me he doesn't blame me for what happened. Still, it doesn't escape the fact that if I hadn't switched with him, he wouldn't have been put in that situation. | {
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408,323 | and my a----ah fuck it too easy. | {
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408,324 | Do you want your dick to look like that?\n\nI don't. | {
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408,325 | You obviously haven't dated enough insecure people. | {
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408,326 | Yeah, especially with websites that run solely on flash animations. Pisses me right the fuck off and I leave right away unless it's pertinent that I be there. | {
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408,327 | Dude... That fucking octopus guy.\n\nThe one who stole that octopus from an open-air market, took it home, accidentally got it drunk and then posted to reddit asking if the octopus would be okay? He was a super-genius. \n\nI want that guy to update more than anything...\n\nedit:changed "open air-market" to "open-air market" | {
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408,328 | Yea, those Virginians don't get periods. | {
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408,329 | I genuinely love the blatant hawking at the end of every reply, and the attempts to tie them in | {
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408,330 | Huh.... what's not to enjoy? | {
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408,331 | I think I felt a little bit of me die inside. | {
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408,332 | our first losing month since February 1999 | {
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408,333 | Your name changed meaning from picture one to picture two... | {
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408,334 | "I felt like I was constantly at odds with the Skittle packaging. It never gave me an opportunity to succeed." | {
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408,335 | I think my screen has a dead pixel — your dash is rendering with a hole in the middle. | {
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408,336 | Yea, but if we don't keep convincing people to play arena, then the people who were going 5-7 wins will start to only see 1-4 wins as the people who were seeing 1-4 wins stop trying.\n\nWe need fresh meat!! | {
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408,337 | We need a clip of this going viral. Something that takes the crazy slant off of Powell. Which is how he's being spun.\n\nHe's a lawyer and a former officer.\nAnd he's right on the money on Cantor.\n\n> “Twelve years is long enough,” he said of Mr. Cantor’s tenure in the House. “And if you can’t think of what Mr. Cantor’s legislative accomplishments were over the last 12 years, then you’re not alone.”\n\nBloody awesome! | {
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408,338 | Did we just watch the same video? | {
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408,339 | Smaug the Ordinary Dog | {
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408,340 | **Haggard's Law**\n\nThe likelihood of a person harboring secret desires to engage in sexual and/or romantic activities with members of the same sex is directly proportional to the frequency and volume of said person's vocalized objections to homosexuality.\n\nThis is just a variant of Haggard's. | {
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408,341 | You know what's dumber than that? Putting your contacts in, forgetting you have them, and then putting on your glasses and not being able to figure out why everything looks so intense and your head hurts. | {
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408,342 | This kills the goldfish. | {
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408,343 | That's going to be my go to response when employers asked what my greatest weakness is. "I think I like butterflies too much" | {
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408,344 | Then again, how much more bad-ass is the 127 hours guy now than he was before he had to cut off his own arm.\n\nTime to drink my own piss? Fuck that noise. Time to cut off my arm. THAT'S HOW YOU HAVE AN OUTDOOR ADVENTURE. | {
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408,345 | perfect body, perfect face, ERMAGHAD FINNER \n\n1/20 would not bang. | {
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408,346 | Stupid elephant shoulda packed heat | {
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408,347 | I think so. Either that or my girlfriend is framing him. | {
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408,348 | Implying the job will still be there... ahahahahahaha \n\nBut no, you make a point I've wondered myself. | {
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408,349 | What about hermaphrodites? And how is this not illegal? | {
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408,350 | Suddenly 3 outlines just hovering on the bed, slowly rising. You turn around and there's a fourth outline between you and the door.\n\nFuck everything about that. | {
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408,351 | I grew up before cell phones but after caller ID become popular. I'd go to by GF's place (or wherever my target destination was) then call my friend. I'd then have my friend 3-way my home so that his number would show up on the Caller ID. "Hey Mom, I'm at Billy's. Can I stay the night?"\n\n100% success rate. | {
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408,352 | > tag them with a locator then release them back into the wild\n\nThank you for the morning laugh. | {
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408,353 | He also has a smirk on his face! Totally badass. | {
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408,354 | so basically youre saying that no matter what you do its going to be awkward as fuck | {
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408,355 | What do fans have to do with winning or losing? Nothing (unless of course you own a "12" shirt). Yet they still feel good or bad about it. It can't feel good to be a fan of a team that tried to start a fistfight because it was going to lose. | {
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408,356 | There is none. He just put the pieces on the board for karma, because he could. | {
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408,357 | She does read ***all*** the newspapers and magazines. | {
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408,358 | Is that not their response to most things the rest of the world does? | {
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408,359 | That would kill the 90s movie. | {
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408,360 | Maybe she was calling your attention to the jar because, since you did all the work, the money was put in there by her and she wanted you to tip yourself for doing everything. You should have grabbed a dollar and gone on about your business. | {
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408,361 | Blind people see what's in front of them in the same way you see what's behind you. | {
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408,362 | Put it on display.. What if Gaben came to dinner? | {
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408,363 | Didn't make it past security. | {
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408,364 | He just good at mmmmm blockin' out the haters. | {
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408,365 | Same story here... wish I'd found reddit sooner. | {
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408,366 | *The Office*, "The Surplus" is the tenth episode of the fifth season and the eighty-second episode overall.\n\nIt originally aired on December 4, 2008.\n\n[Link to the episode](http://daclips.in/6k41kgez7sij)\n\nThe GIF comes from the 05:25 mark. | {
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408,367 | America.. Canada's shorts.\n\n\nWe don't wear underwear. | {
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408,368 | I was going to say this. If he'd stopped and held Daniel's hand, that would have sent a message of "you're not going to make it". By frantically trying to save his life, Daniel at least could have felt some sort of hope during his last moments. | {
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408,369 | I will suck a dick for this | {
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408,370 | Thousands of hot dog vendors agree with you. Join us on hotdogvendorsfor911truth.com for more information. | {
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408,371 | It's worth noting that pushing a drunk asshole out of your face is considered an "assault" only by whiny assholes who think you cannot touch a drunk asshole who is in your face. | {
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408,372 | It's because it is a very shitty "bricks will be shat" that relies on a very poor resolution in order for it to be hard to work out what you're looking at.\n\n | {
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408,373 | Looks like mustard. \n\nNo offense. | {
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408,374 | OH^- I C^+4 what you did there. | {
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408,375 | Hurricanus might be the best username possible for this situation.\n\nBravo, OP. | {
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408,376 | http://eyebleach.com/ | {
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408,377 | I wonder what pingdom.com uses when their site goes down. | {
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408,378 | teemo doesnt deserve to live | {
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408,379 | I think I just found my reddit soulmate. | {
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408,380 | I am a tree expert and you can first make the table and then make the pile of chips. However, for reasons unknown, you cannot do it the other way. And as an expert I also advise to set the record for largest fire made from largest pile of wood chips made from largest one piece table. I estimate a netting of around 20 world records if you find said tree. | {
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408,381 | "A place as safe as say... a prison" *looks into camera* | {
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408,382 | http://i.imgur.com/Ht6xpgm.gif (I just have this saved, it's kinda relevant... not really) | {
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408,383 | Yeah. the trick is to never reveal the source material where you get the info from. Should've just said 'it's common knowledge' or something condescending. | {
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408,384 | How many Frenchman does it take to defend Paris?\n\nWe don't know. It's never been tried | {
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408,385 | >Mad **MS Paint** skills\n\nFTFY | {
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408,386 | You might wanna clean up then. | {
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408,387 | Basically patents are a way for large companies to push smaller companies around using broad terms for very specific things so that in the event of fair competition where they have no other recourse but to innovate, they will litigate. | {
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408,388 | Join the ThibsMasterRace. | {
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408,389 | and somewhere else- http://i.imgur.com/oFZTg.jpg | {
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408,390 | My Surfboard, surfboard, surfboard\n\nRainin on that wood, rainin, rainin on that wood. Surfing all in this good good \n\nBeyonce, forgive them, they knows not what they does | {
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408,391 | That or Poopy Joe, but I think that's just Valve trying to throw us off.\n\nIt'll be two minutes of Pyro mumbling at the camera and lighting things on fire. Somehow, it will be completely hilarious. | {
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408,392 | Polar bears are the only known animal to actively hunt and prey on humans. | {
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408,393 | I'm the best you could do! | {
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408,394 | My skeptic senses are also tingling. Clots are not huge deals these days. They have cath-lab teams and a wide variety of drugs to combat such conditions. | {
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408,395 | Screening people based upon country of origin is not racist. It may be discriminatory, but definitely not racist. \n\n(Assuming we mean they were actually born in that country, as opposed to children of immigrants born in the US) | {
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408,396 | ._ o o\n \_`-)|_\n ,"" \ \n ," ## | ಠ ಠ. \n ," ## ,-\__ `.\n ," / `--._;)\n ," ## /\n ," ## / | {
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408,397 | After I saw "feat.", I was half expecting the name of some low rate hip hop artist. | {
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408,398 | That's the best thing I've seen in a long time. | {
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408,399 | \***insert a joke about charity being a stripper here**\* | {
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} |
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