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>fighting *to the death*
Then the winner gets to keep the friends. | {
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Zelda is not a game that is obscure or underground. Its pretty popular.
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Well, the way she seems to take her hygiene I bet that asshole is really clean. | {
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Don't know why you're getting upvoted... The CURRENT RESIDENT means the current person who lives at the address. I don't even get what you're trying to say... Downvoted. | {
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Of all names.. Bertha? | {
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Well two birds with one stone right?
Edit: I would like to thank SRS for the down votes. It's not a good joke until SRS throws a hissy fit. Does anyone know if I can get a banned from SRS trophy? | {
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"Hey Rebecca, I bet you $20 that you can't give the next comedian a boner." | {
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A dictionary steeped in the history of being written by educated people - or white males for most of that history. Dictionaries are inherently misogynist. | {
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I watched that movie in an airplane and I was tempted to walk out of the theater. | {
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Are you talking about Little Shop of Horrors or the Mitt Romney election campaign? One is a fun alternate ending; one is not. | {
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*thinks "This date isn't going well. We have nothing in common. How can I break the ice?"*
"Hey, let's go take a shit at the same time." | {
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I would like to be everyone's first downvote. | {
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Tell the cops you have the recording. Tell your insurance company you havel the recording. Don't tell the other driver. Let them make their statement. Let them lie. Don't confront them. Let the charges against them pile up.
Edit: Please down vote. I was never meant to have this much karma. Something's amiss. | {
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God damn,do you have a lot of time in your desposal!!!First of all,I think the meme is funny even if I was lying(but I am not).Second of all,I probablly deleted a post being rejected by a mod,I am sure you being the brave man you are would not do that.Third of all,get a life man. | {
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But that name didn't really work doh
Gold edit: I wanted to personally thank the person who gave me gold, but http://youtu.be/LvKkZhhnuFk | {
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You got your science education from Fisher-Price university, I take it.
You *obviously* have the ability to use Google. Google those terms. Learn. Yes, we can make photons travel faster and slower than c.
I said photon flux operates according to principles of entropy, that's right.
>No, not to you.
Not to anyone! You are a failure at all things scientific. | {
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You are making that up. Nobody can get laid in a PT Cruiser, much less a yellow one. | {
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Creative? Sure. Ugly? Absolutely. | {
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Her: oh...
Me: Was I good?
Her: umm, here, have some Reddit gold | {
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So is your attitude Mr Durden. | {
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Here ya go
Edit: pic deleted :) | {
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Wtf am i getting downvoted for! Shit like this really rustles my jimmies | {
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Don't worry, I'll tank it out with you.
/r/ShitRedditSays says reddit's shit, but they're still on it.
Edit: My inbox is so stuffed it took me scrolling down here and reading my own comment to realise I had gold. Well, thanks. | {
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ಠ\_ಠ
GET OFF MY LAWN | {
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Fuck your sister than all doubts gone. | {
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Totally botched the reply.
e: haha yeesh you people are silly. have a good sunday. | {
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People really need to do the math. One cent less per gallon, let's assume a 2015 Suburban, one of the larger cars, so a 31 gallon tank. To go from empty to full, you're saving 31 cents. People will waste a few dollars in gas to drive across town to save a few cents per gallon... | {
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God is not real and prayers do nothing. | {
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*Alright class if you read page 46 it describes how Hitler, dubbed "mister grey" because of his heartlessness, tied up the Jews and fucked them* | {
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Don't worry, /r/SubredditDrama is on the way! | {
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Singles Awareness Day
Edit: My highest comment is SAD. | {
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Glad I could be of service! | {
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You have this adult thing on lockdown. | {
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Can I cover u in man juice | {
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Queue up 14GB of porn torrents, fap to the first one that finishes, cancel all downloads.
*Thanks a bunch! | {
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I know the song, it was just a stupid comment. As if only "rap guys" like round asses. | {
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-Adolf Hitler
See what happens when you don't credit your quotes? | {
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You should work on your grammar if you want to learn the dream life. You just ruined a whole line of code with that mistake.
Edit: TIL that r/trees does not care about grammar.
Edit2: [K I'll see myself out.](http://i41.tinypic.com/rbifls.gif) | {
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Holy shit, exactly how many people were married to my ex-wife??? | {
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if youre going to swear, you have no place on reddit | {
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ben wyatt
enough said | {
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Yes
Edit: Oh Goddamnit.
Edit2: Well this one now has more downvotes that the original did before it was bestof'd!
Edit3: -259 points? Buuuuul. Shiiit. | {
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I'm not proud of what I've done. | {
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Thumbs up if you like nickelback! | {
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Part Four:
The next day the PI came over to settle up. I asked him how much he wanted. He said,
"I need about treefiddy." | {
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>Finding women at bars
Those are literally the scum women of society. There are much better places to find women who are good people both inside and out. | {
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I don't get people, man. I saw this picture without any context and figured out for myself that you were memorializing Mulder, not crying out for attention.
I'm sorry for your loss. | {
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Keep that to yourself, shitlord. Edit: It sure sucks when those males talk about their disgusting genitals amiright SJWs of Reddit?? | {
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This sort of goes along with a popular saying. "When is the best time to order a pizza? 45 min ago. When is the second best time? Right now." Or maybe it was something about planting trees. Idk, I'm hungry. | {
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Jonathan **le** Man Penetrator... | {
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I'm going to have my husband do this when I die except I want to be done up more like one of those standing stuffed polar bears you see clawing and snarling. | {
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How old were you when she died?
Also I don't think your mom tried, she just existed next to you.
>He walked away and 22 years later decided to see how life treated me.
Your mom hurt you much more. | {
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our teacher Mrs. Daniels was very brusque and upfront about it. The first thing I recall her saying was that America was being attacked and that people were dying. She had a way with words | {
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The blood drains red,
My heart fills with dread,
As I proclaim, "they're all dead". | {
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Yeah, they gave him tips to improve his distance. | {
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Did you just completely miss everything I just said? | {
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When you can talk about crotch problems using a foreign language, you're well on your way to being fluent. | {
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No. Please learn some basic sociology and read the rules of this subreddit and FAQ before posting here again. | {
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That puppy is Zeb Quinn. He got turned by a witch who left a signature on his rear windshield. | {
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Not really. She was the one posting sexually provocative images; what did she expect? | {
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*tips dick*
edit: holy sht someone popped my gold cherry tnx stranger | {
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Your mom made me laugh, when she said that the sound of my huge balls slapping against her ass sounded like milk being poured and splashed repeatedly. | {
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Selfie sticks are probably the least weird thing to EVER come from an Asian country. | {
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He also has EIGHTY MILLION DOLLARS from a game he stole from Zachary Barth, creator of Infiniminer. | {
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When you got there were you ever like, "Fuck, which one am I now?"
Edit: I guess this is implied but, thanks for my first gold stranger! Feels good up here. | {
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Do you mean the time section of the upcoming IAmAs in the sidebar? The Upcoming IAmA part of the sidebar and the "Live now" and "Finished" section have been around for a while. However, we only do them for the few IAmas that we schedule, and I think OP is talking about doing it for all IAmAs, not just the few that we list. | {
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Doctor/Patient confidentiality. | {
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>What happens then?
Change ***then*** to ***than***.
**[Than](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Than)** introduces a comparison, and is associated with comparatives and with words such as more, less, and fewer. | {
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I just look at my phone and nod before turning back. That way, people think I just got a text from a friend and I'm going to see him. | {
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THATS OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
edit* sheesh I was just kidding .. =( | {
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this may be the best one here
**get a cup of water**
*aww Mister Ben, you're so thoughtful. I was feeling kind of parched* | {
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Sounds like your parents are poor. | {
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And adults everywhere would grow uncomfortable around you. | {
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As someone with a Bachelor's of Science, Venti Chai Latte. Thank you. | {
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Does he fear you'll enter the pro dodgeball scene? | {
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try again.. there has to be some kind of truth to it for it to truly hurt. This is easily disregarded. | {
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Dat Twilight money tho. | {
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Fuck yes. Now I get to ban a fuckton of subreddit drama shitstirrers. **waxes his ban hammer with troll blood** | {
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And if he bangs one of them, they will *all* subsequently find out exactly how big his wiener is. | {
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Do the research. Explain the lack of zyclon b in ever supposed chamber. gas chamber stories where false just like the skin lamp shades. Im not a denier. i just think its a travesty to the victims if we don't perpetuate the truth. | {
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that feeling when you've woken up after a long sleep in a room that's really dry, and you dig out a huge hard chunk and breathe through a totally unobstructed nostril for the first time in hours
it's like not knowing that you need glasses and putting them on for the first time | {
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As an oldfag from 2006 that part made me cringe.
EDIT: Only newfags will downvote this. Fellow oldfags are bros and upvote eachother. | {
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Flush it next time so she won't notice. | {
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The source is obviously imgur. [I do think my father will have to hear about this.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfkm4dbBVh1qdpla0o1_500.gif) | {
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Was your friend's name Oscar?
EDIT: Obligatory thanks for gold | {
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Came in to make a clever Demon Souls/Dark Souls reference and reap that sweet sweet karma, just gave you an upvote instead. | {
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How do you know she masturbates to it? Maybe she's just watching it for the story?
Edit: apparently /r/watchitfortheplot | {
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that's probably because decades of smoking weed have made him completely retarded to the point that he can't even communicate clearly. it's sad, really.
edit: lol @ stoner losers downvoting from their mom's basements. get a job already! | {
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Girls are temperary, sensei is forever. | {
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*m'fedora tipping* **INTENSIFIES**
EDIT: m'downvotes???? NOOOOOOOOOOOO | {
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the buddhist gives him a fifty, and the vendor pockets it. The ~~monk~~ buddhist asks for change and the vendor replies 'Change comes from within.'
edit: reading comprehension fail. | {
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Very constructive to the discussion. ಠ\_ಠ | {
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We'll find it sooner or later dear! | {
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Fuck you, yes it was.
/sarcasm
EDIT: since no one understands sarcasm I will be in the corner [crying now](http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-animal-gifs-animal-gifs-how-could-you.gif)
| {
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A grammar nazi's greatest dream...
*"an... Mr. President... An.."* | {
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Yeah, there's probably something wrong with you then... | {
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That arrow points straight at your username... | {
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it's a pic of your mom, dawg | {
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It is more, "you know what would make this work better? An outing." | {
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That's the whole point. If they are prepared, they will have biases. | {
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Subsets and Splits