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"If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States"
Jokes
"For anyone attending Stan Lee's funeral..."
Jokes
"The front page is filled with memes in reference to that guy being dragged off of a plane. I can't remember the last time the entire reddit user base was so..."
Jokes
"North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media."
Jokes
"I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal"
Jokes
"So Tekashi69 could face life in prison"
Jokes
"The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens."
Jokes
"Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)"
Jokes
"What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters."
Jokes
"My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed."
Jokes
"Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight..."
Jokes
"An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?""
Jokes
"A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before"."
Jokes
"TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask"
Jokes
"What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?"
Jokes
"A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday."
Jokes
"Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times"
Jokes
"My wife says if this post gets over 1000 upvotes, I can get anal."
Jokes
"Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim."
Jokes
"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks..."
Jokes
""You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!""
Jokes
"My favorite joke: Everyone Knows Dave"
Jokes
"What is Gordon Ramsay's favorite subreddit?"
Jokes
"My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100."
Jokes
"My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing."
Jokes
"A man walks into a bar..."
Jokes
"R Kelly is really changing the rap game"
Jokes
"A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. He’s never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the hell."
Jokes
"Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?"
Jokes
"The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her"
Jokes
"Trump tests positive for COVID-19."
Jokes
"Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?"
Jokes
" Just a reminder to be careful when telling jokes that may be offensive."
Jokes
"Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888"
Jokes
"My girlfriend is like the square root of -100."
Jokes
"What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?"
Jokes
"By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:"
Jokes
"Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context.""
Jokes
"What's the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor?"
Jokes
"8 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. I reposted it 4 years ago. Here it is again for those that missed it."
Jokes
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?"
Jokes
"There's love without sex and there's sex without love..."
Jokes
"I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with."
Jokes
"A farmer buys a young cock"
Jokes
"A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door."
Jokes
"Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?"
Jokes
"A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing... they keep saying 'Hi, we’re hot... do you want to *fuck us*?'""
Jokes
"If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced"
Jokes
"All countries eventually got coronavirus"
Jokes
"*Nsfw* The military is cutting staff and decide to get rid of three generals. One from the Army, the Airforce, and the Marines."
Jokes
"As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there *isn’t* something trying to kill you..."
Jokes
"Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam."
Jokes
"My favourite sex position is called "WOW" ..."
Jokes
"As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop,he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "5 lamb chops, please.""
Jokes
"Why is EA the worst gaming company in America?"
Jokes
"A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up"
Jokes
" Just a reminder to be careful when telling jokes that may be offensive."
Jokes
"Christmas joke (NSFW)"
Jokes
"A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy."
Jokes
"An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar"
Jokes
"In Canada, you are more likely to die of a kick of a moose than a terrorist attack."
Jokes
"Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar"
Jokes
"CAN ADMINS OF THIS SUBREDDIT REDDIT DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!"
Jokes
"A feminist told me about the "Dwayne Johnson Rule.""
Jokes
"My sister asked for me to bring her something hard to write on"
Jokes
"If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened."
Jokes
"A man in an interrogation room says “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.”"
Jokes
"How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?"
Jokes
"A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy."
Jokes
"NSFW - A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator."
Jokes
"Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall"
Jokes
"Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again."
Jokes
"If i had a dime for every time i didn't understand what's going on."
Jokes
"The husband leans over and asks his wife"
Jokes
"Trump should not have said "shit-hole countries"."
Jokes
"My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again."
Jokes
"Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month.""
Jokes
"If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN..."
Jokes
"I’ve developed a fetish for figuring things out."
Jokes
"How do you lure a pervert? (NSFW)"
Jokes
"Many people are surprised by the engagement of Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, but not me."
Jokes
"Jane always had a certain attraction to Tarzan. So during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex."
Jokes
"The spread of COVID-19 is based on two factors"
Jokes
"If it weren't for Arabs, we would never have 9/11"
Jokes
"Why will the congress never impeach Trump?"
Jokes
"Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump."
Jokes
"A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people..."
Jokes
"A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US."
Jokes
"As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there *isn’t* something trying to kill you..."
Jokes
"A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.”"
Jokes
"Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?"
Jokes
"When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits."
Jokes
"‌‌Our w‌‌hole f‌‌amily i‌‌s r‌‌eally w‌‌orried a‌‌bout m‌‌y g‌‌randfather’s V‌‌iagra a‌‌ddiction."
Jokes
"My wife says if this post get a 1000 likes, I can get anal on my cake day"
Jokes
"As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden."
Jokes
"My girlfriend told me this joke ten years ago. We've been married nine years today."
Jokes
"There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting..."
Jokes
"Joke I heard from a 99 year old Holocaust survivor"
Jokes
"Don't Read If You're A Trump Supporter"
Jokes
"Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?""
Jokes