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t3_ry413 | AskReddit | Vet Negligence. What can I do? | My cat was found on Saturday evening with larcerated foot which looked pretty nasty. I rang the emergency vet for advice and it was decided that I should bring him in at eleven thirty that night.
I knew it would be a hefty price but thought that it was not good to leave Alfie (my cat) until Monday as he could not stand on the leg. The vet examined him and bathed the leg and said he had probably been bitten and that it was not broken.
She gave him a shot of antibiotic and some anti inflammatory for me to administer. She also put a collar on him to stop him licking himself. She advised that should be adequate and that i would not have to take him back. This cost £223.
The cat has been lethargic all week and still limped pretty badly and slept a lot but was going to the toilet ok. Yesterday we noticed that Alfie had a large sac of flesh protruding from his stomach which had fur missing. I googled this and it seemed like he may have a hernia.
So back to the vets this morning who suggested that it probably was not a hernia but to be sure I should leave him to be sedated and an x ray taken. He rang back later to inform me that alfie had a fractured pelvis and that he would need work doing but because it was a week old may have complications.
The next phone call was to tell me that the leg had been sorted but there was now problems with the bladder and that as there was now massive bruising it may also be a further problem.
The bill is now **£900** and rising. I feel that it is down to the surgery that all these further complications have arisen because of their misdiagnosis on Saturday evening.
I've tried to complain but they insist that nobody is available until Tuesday to make a decision regard the misdiagnosis on Saturday night. So I am potentially risking the £900 upwards.
Please any suggestions or comments on how to proceed with this as I cant afford the bill but nor do I want Alfie put down. | Negligence at the vets is possibly costing me a large amount. |
t3_1wzdg8 | relationships | I[F25] asked my boyfriend of 1.5 years [M25] if we could move in this summer. He said he's not ready. Too soon? | Hey Guys,
So, I've been dating this amazing guy for 1.5 years. We are both financially independent, and are in a great place in our relationship. We spend probably 5 nights a week together currently either at my place or his. I have talked with him previously about the idea of marriage, and while, of course, he's said he's not ready now, he says he likes the idea and would be more comfortable after dating 4 years or so, which is fine with me. We have seen a couple who drug out a relationship too long, and he has said repeatedly that he would never do that to me.
Last night, I brought up moving in together this summer when we will have been dating 2 years, and he says that he doesn't want to give up his own space yet. He says that he feels like he hasn't spent enough time living on his own (he got out of a live in relationship of 2 years 6 months before we started dating). Am I unreasonable at being upset by this? He says it has nothing to do with him not wanting to be with me, and he doesn't want to back off at all. He says he just wants things to stay as they are, but I feel like this means that he doesn't want to commit. Am I freaking out too soon? I know we still have time. 25 is still pretty young, but I feel like this is a case of him "having his cake and eating it too". | BF[25] of 1.5 years says he's happy with me, but doesn't want to give up living on his own just yet. |
t3_4i5yvb | relationship_advice | What do you think caused my ex [20/f] to suddenly get in touch after a year? | The break up was a year ago and we completely lost touch. I moved on thinking I would never hear from her again. I was in so much pain for the first 4 months, but I managed to pick up the pieces and get over the relationship and the BU.
Months down the line (a year on from the break up) she suddenly gets in contact to ask for "advice".
She's travelling the world and probably having the time of her life, I don't see why she'd reach out for "advice"... it leads me to believe it was an excuse.
We spoke a bit and I had to shoot off, but she contacted me again 2 days later to say she's going to watch a rugby game. | Dumper ex GF contacts me after a year of nothing. Asks me for "advice". Think she's using that as an excuse. Continues to contact me via FB. Whhat could cause her to get in touch after so long? |
t3_yr9o7 | AskReddit | In College, a girl needed a helping hand, and I looked the other way because she was fat. What shitty thing have you done that still makes you cringe? | In CEGEP, a sort of junior college where I live, gym class was required, but there were some interesting options - canoeing, backpacking, weight training, etc. My final gym class was "Stress Management", which involved an hour of working out, and an hour of relaxation techniques.
One week, the relaxation technique was massage, and we all had to partner up to practise the techniques. I had friends in the class, but there was one girl who was kind of an outcast. She was awkward, shy, and didn't have much self-confidence, probably because she was morbidly obese. It didn't help that everyone else in the course was in shape. As my friends split off into pairs, I looked over at her, and predictably, no one wanted to touch this girl. We were an odd number, so when everyone paired up, she was left out and went to sit against the wall.
I still cringe with shame when I think of how easily I could have gone over and included her, but didn't. So, Reddit, what shameful episode of douchebaggery would you like to get off your chest? | Saw obese girl being left out of gym exercise, didn't help her because I didn't want to touch her. |
t3_14ignu | loseit | I (m18) don't know where to start | So I am 18 and in my senior year in high-school. i have always been slightly overweight, one of those guys that doesn't have a good figure at all. however i am pretty strong, i can lift the same amount as the body builder guys in my weights class. throughout the last 5 months i have been working out more and more, weather it be hiking a mountain, running for twenty minutes, using the total-gym at my moms house, or going to the small gym at my fathers apartment complex and using the machines there. for the past month i have been going probably around 4-5 times a week to do one of those workouts. i drink muscle milk after a weight workout to try and gain muscle mass and i havent been eating nearly as much as i usually do, but i just need to know from people who actually know more about cutting weight in order to get more muscle definition and smaller numbers on the scale (i weigh 200 lbs right now and am about 5'10 ft) any help, tips, or full on guides on how to cut weight and body fat would be appreciated. all additional questions will be answered. thank you | been overweight (not by much) for my whole life, want to cut body fat and weight, need help |
t3_51ayqb | tifu | TIFU by shooting a birch board at someone | Ok, this is a post from a few days ago but the mods decided to remove it because it was too short. I'm going to try to be as descriptive as possible.
It's Thursday afternoon, about 1:30. I'm in my sixth hour class(wood shop) and I'm on the big belt sander *smoothening* one of the legs for my coffee table I'm building. The teacher is going around supervising us, making sure we're using the tools the right way. Apparently I wasn't.
He comes over to me and he's been standing there for a few minutes now. I'm minding my own business, sanding away and then the board slips out of my grip flying towards the teachers rib cage(pretty fast as well). Keep in mind he's nearing his sixties so he's pretty fragile. It hits him in his gut and he stands there holding his gut, and tells me to go to the office, groaningly.
I tell the Assistant Principal what happened and he suspends me for 4 days because "I wasn't using the shop equipment correctly, as I was taught). I was furious because if **HE** was following safety precautions and not standing in front of the sander he wouldn't have got hit by the board. | Shop teacher got hit by a flying 4x4 because he wasn't following safety precautions, and *I* was the one to get punished. |
t3_il7jc | relationship_advice | Is it possible to be friends after breaking up? | We met on OKCupid and had no mutual friends when we started dating. We lasted 3 months. I had my uncertainties and was never head-over-heels for her, but I'm 21 and this was my first relationship and it hurts. She broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago, confirming my suspicions that she did not "like" me anymore. We never fought. Our relationship was always honest and I guess the breakup was as clean as they come.
But I miss her. For all the doubts I had, for all the times I myself thought of ending it, I miss her. I see on Facebook that she's going to a party and miss the times we went to parties together. And that gets me thinking, "what if she invited me to go to the party as friends? Would that be possible?" It's probably foolishness, but part of me is entertaining the idea that, because we never fought or anything, maybe we could still be friends and maybe I could see her sometimes. Part of me continues in the habitual thinking of "I'll see her sometime within the next few days."
Please tell me this is foolishness. We have no mutual friends and trying to be friends would only be trying to perpetuate something already dead. Right? I need someone to talk me out of these thoughts... | Part of me entertains ideas of seeing her, still being friends. Please tell me if this is foolishness. |
t3_3gc9m3 | tifu | TIFU by destroying my girlfriends parents toilet. | Unlike other posts that reference F*** ups from years ago, This FU isn't even over yet.
I'm writing to you people from ground zero still not knowing what to do.
So here's where it begins. I'm in the process of moving back east. From Montana to New Jersey. However me and my gf had to be out of our apartment yesterday and her parents offered their home as a stop-gap between moves.
That being said, I haven't been able to take a proper poop for DAYS.
So about an hour ago I wake up from this pain. It's like a harsh pressure in my bowls, like a guantanamo prisoners colon. I begin to weigh options of how to handle the 8th wonder of the world stirring inside of me. Then my large intestines decided for me.
I hobble my way to the bathroom and reenact Hiroshima.
This is probably one of the longest, hardest, biggest shits I've ever taken. I can't imagine child birth yields as much. Only after two days living at my girlfriends parents house, after all their generosity, I clearly devastate their bathroom.
It's 5 AM, the house is asleep, and no plunger in sight. I write to you seated on this porcelain throne, contemplating every decision in my life that's lead me to this moment. I have no idea what to do. | Took earth shattering shit at my girlfriend's parents house. Was distressful, later blamed aftermath on her younger brother. |
t3_129lra | AskReddit | I'm really starting to hate my co-workers, advice on how to make my time there less aggravating? | I work for my University as an Audio/Visual technician. We provide tech assistance to smart classrooms when necessary, while most the time training students/faculty on cameras, sound equipment, etc.
Our staff is quite interesting...
There are two couples in the office, both of which are lesbian. One set are very Emo, people loathing, trolls from Hell. The others are pretty awesome... We also have the guy that speaks with intentional articulation; the kind that comes off as condescending, and narcissistic. A couple others are so fucking lazy, and unqualified I can't help but curse them in my head. What's worst, our department has a lot of room for small procedural error. Certain staff finds it necessary to report these common errors, or post them in plain site for the Managers.
I work very, very hard. People leave and shake my hand for the effort I give. I love the job, but am finding it hard to fake my feelings towards these people. | How should I assert myself around people who test my EQ on a daily basis? |
t3_3reqxl | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [29M], having issues with Thanksgiving and family | Hi, Reddit,
I can't stop being upset about this. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months, and this is our first Thanksgiving together. Our families have dinners scheduled at the same time on the same day.
I thought it would be nice to spend an hour or so with my family and the rest of the day with his (we live about half an hour apart). I'm not particularly close with my family; he's very close with his.
However, I just found out that I'm not invited to his Thanksgiving. Apparently there's no significant others allowed, unless you're engaged. I still asked that he spend that hour to two with my family, and that really set him off. He kept saying that he wouldn't do it because it was disrespectful to his family and that I don't understand because my family isn't close like his.
Reddit, I'm so incredibly hurt. He's 29. Why can't he make a decision to spend two hours with the woman he loves on a holiday? I consider him family, and I thought he considered me family.
This was our first major fight, and it ended with me in tears and him saying I just don't understand.
Am I crazy for asking him to ditch his family for just a little bit of the day? | Families and holidays are complicated. Is my relationship in jeopardy? |
t3_4luvd9 | relationships | Really close friend [20F] hasn't talked to me since I [20M] confessed my feelings for her. How to proceed? | So basically I have known this girl for over a year now, she lives in another state, but came for a visit. When she came to stay, I already had pretty strong feelings about her, but fell head over heels in love with her pretty quickly. We had been pretty close especially the last couple of months, and talked almost everyday, we got along really well and I wouldn't hesitate to say she was my best friend. Before she ended her trip and went back to her life, I confessed how I felt (not saying I was in love) but pretty much saying that I really really liked her and all the reasons why. I got sort of shot down, she said that she liked me, and thought I was an amazing guy but didn't want a long distance relationship (as they never work out). I feel like she was just letting me down easy, and I thought it was pretty clear that she didn't want a relationship. She emphasised that she hoped we could still be friends.
She sent me a message the morning after, and I replied but I haven't heard back from her in 10 days.
How long does it take most girls to get over the initial awkwardness?
Does she actually want to still be friends?
If I double text her, what should I say? Should I just play it cool? Or apologise again for ruining what we did have?
Most of you probably think it's not worth my while, but if you can believe me on one thing, it's that I would trade anything for just a few moments with this girl (not in an inappropriate way). She just makes me so happy, and we get along, I have told her things that I haven't told anyone else, and she stimulates me intellectually. | Really close friend (best friend) hasn't messaged me after I confessed my feelings for her. I'm sort of lost on what to do and how to continue, I'm not pursuing a relationship I really do just want to be friends. (Questions are at the end of the main body of text) |
t3_1qq3aa | relationships | Girl (18) never initiates conversation with me (Male 18), not interested? | So I added this girl that was in my biology class on BBM and she accepted, I started both the first and second conversation and she responded really well, she genuinely seemed like she wanted to talk. But a week later and she hasn't started anything at all and I'm so damn confused because she responds really well in the conversations but doesn't want to start anything, my mind is full of ****. I've caught her reading through the messages too (I think) and always uses a ton of emoticons and laughs at anything I say (Maybe it's just wishful thinking) Advice? | Girl responds well to texts, never initiates, not interested? |
t3_4cn9l2 | loseit | [Nerdy] Added new measurements to my MFP report | I thought that calculating the volume I should mathematically lose on a day to day basis for any given caloric deficit as well as its cumulation might give me an extra boost in motivation and discipline.
For those who might be interested in my calculations:
I assumed the density of adipose tissue (i.e. body fat) to be 0.94 g/cm³ [(Source)](
1 kg of fat = (1000g/(0.94 g/cm³)) = 1063.83 cm³
Dividing this noumber through the kcal in a kg of fat yields us the volume of fat 1 kcal takes up:
1063.83 cm³/7000 kcal = 0,15 cm³/kcal
Multiplying that with your caloric deficit will give you the volume you've lost that day. | A 100 kcal deficit will shave off roughly 15ml of fat off of you. A kg of fatloss makes you slimmer by 1063.83 ml, while an lb means 482.54 ml less. |
t3_3bswhd | relationships | Me [33F] with my husband [28M] together 4 years duration, he never told me he doesn't want kids. | So this is my second marriage. We have only been married for a year (we were a couple for 3years prior) but we are really happy. Our relationship has been smooth-sailing for the most part. I feel like I am ready to have kids. Its something I have always wanted. He already has a daughter from a previous relationship and I love her but I still want my own. So I talked to him about trying to get pregnant and he says he agrees that it might be the right time to start trying. His reaction surprised me-- I was expecting him to say we weren't ready or something like he usually does... AND then I did something bad:: I read his journal entry for the night we talked about it and it turns out--he doesn't really want to have kids. He said he would go through with it because he loves me and he wants me to be happy but he doesn't really understand why I would want that. He said his firstborn was an accident and although he loves her, if it had been up to him--it wouldn't have happened. I read a bunch of other posts that say if you disagree on that topic--your relationship is essentially over. I want to talk to him about it but I can't because I'm not supposed to know the truth. I KNOW it was wrong of me to read his journal-- but if I hadn't read it... I would have assumed we were on the same page kid-wise. Should I bring it up to him? Is there any way I can ask him about it without it starting a huge "how-dare-you-read-my-journal" argument? Should I pretend I don't know and go along with it? I do not want to force him to have kids with me if he doesn't want to... I just wish he had been honest about this before we got married. | I read my husbands journal and found out he does not really want to have kids, even though he said he did. What should I do? |
t3_2om3ur | relationships | Me [27 M] with my wife [26 F], brought up the idea of separation and she just wants to fight | We've been in a relationship in person and long distance for 3 or so years and married for several more. I never really believed in marriage but it was necessary to receive a visa so we could live together, so we did it out of convenience. We took the marriage seriously though after it happened and now we have a 1 year old kid.
We've had a really rocky relationship and I feel I'm the only one who's trying to smooth it out and actually work at it. Anyone who sees her behavior would have recommended a separation a long time ago but I refused to give up trying. I've grown apathetic though and told her if she doesn't want to work at our marriage then we need to start working out a plan for separation. Last night we were drunk and fought again. I brought up the separation idea again this morning and instead of discussing it seriously, she's treating it like another issue to argue about.
I need to discuss it with her but I don't know how to get her to actually take it seriously and sit down and have a civil talk. | Talking to my wife about separation but can't get her to sit down and talk to me about it. |
t3_2t9d62 | tifu | TIFU by screen sharing on Skype with my girlfriend | So I was Skyping girlfriend today pretty late at night (around the time I play some games with my friend). So I was drawing her a collage of Legend of Zelda characters and decided to show her the drawings. My friends and I always jokingly talk about how I'm really pissed in the calls because I just want to play games, but it's all in fun. She also happened to send me a picture of her toe that was pretty grody looking, so I figured I'd gross out my friend with it.
So during the call my buddy sends me a message asking me when I'm going to be done and I reply. Eventually my girlfriend looks says "I'm gonna go Jesse, I'll talk to you later, bye" with no explanation. You can imagine my reaction when I look over and see the Skype full-screen share end and I left the Skype chat window open. She read and saw everything I did to my friend, and as a result she's pretty mad. I didn't mean a single thing I said, so it just sucks trying to explain that I'm a total piece of shit when I talk to my friends about most things. | jokingly got mad about Skyping my girlfriend with friends, left chat window open, girlfriend saw in the screen share |
t3_k5fox | AskReddit | Starwars fans, please help. (You're my only hope!) Been requested to do SW themed bedroom art/decor | Yo people of reddit, I turn to thee!
Been asked to do some art work on a young kid's bedroom wall as a surprise whilst he's gone for a weeekend (eta end of sept). The father has said that he'd really like a star wars scene or theme as the kid loves it, but as he isn't too into SW he can't decide on exactly what the painting should consist of. If it was for me personally it'd be a big image of jabba with leia on the leash haha, but in this instance it's not appropriate.
I'd really appreciate it if you SW fans could make some top suggestions on what image a starwars kid would probably love the most. Maybe I should actually paint a famous scene, or just bunch up some characters?
Thanks in advance, happy to update if people have interest. | Need suggestions on a Starwars scene/characters to paint a bedroom |
t3_4tszyx | relationships | I [F28] am pregnant (yay!). Any advice on how to tell my absolute best friend [F27] who has been trying to conceive for over a year? | Hello!
I'm just looking for some advice from people who have been on both sides of my situation. I'm on mobile so forgive me if the formatting gets messed up.
We, my husband [M31] and I, found out this passed weekend that we are expecting our second child this next Spring. Only 4 weeks along, so we aren't going over board with telling people. However due to a passed miscarriage late in a pregnancy (16 weeks) we aren't going to wait for the 12 week mark. I have a sonogram to confirm the age, size, and placement of the little tadpole next month. After that we will make it more public.
Only thing is I need advice on how to share this with my very best friend. I love MJ [F27] so very much and we have been friends for well over a decade now. For nearly as long as I can remember she and her husband were going to be child free or eventually adopt.
This past year I had been getting the feeling they were wanting to get pregnant from little things I would see on Facebook. A few months ago when we were eating dinner together she told me that they had been trying to conceive for a year. She has seeking medical advice and such.
A few days later the topic of pregnancy (possibility for either of us) came up. I let her know how touched I was that she shared that with me. I have not experienced such things and while I cannot give advice or guidance, I am hear to listen, cry, or make inappropriate jokes- basically if she needs me I am here.
Fast forward 3 months. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant and now I am! (Yay!!) I love my friend and she has been there for me through so much, I just don't want me telling her about the pregnancy to end up with sad tears vs happy ones. | I [F28] am pregnant, any advice on how to tell my best friend [F27] who has been having fertility issues (trying to conceive for over a year)? |
t3_3d64zb | relationships | [22 M] Keep waiting for best friend/crush [23 F] or move on | A couple years back I developed a crush on my friend and later found out she felt the same way. We were always chatting or texting in some form or another and we grew pretty close. I asked her out and she said yes, but said no later due to a lot of complicated friend drama etc, and we both agreed to remain friends and just focus on school until things settled down a bit.
After that year she ended up going away to grad school pretty far away although we've stayed in touch and even admitted we both still had feelings for each other and agreed to date if both of us are still single when she gets back, as of last April.
It seems like a no-brainer but part of me wonders if I shouldn't just move on or at least emotionally distance myself. Although we still talk a lot things feel very strange sometimes. She used to be very talkative when we hung out and spent time together and now being in the same room together or just together in general feels awkward. I have a really hard time making conversation with her when things used to feel so natural and I can't tell if it's me or her or some combination of the two of us. I can talk to other people, men and women just fine, and at most any topic at length.
I'm just having a hard time processing all this and while we've both said we still like each other, things don't feel like they used to and I don't know if that should be a red flag to me. She's one of my closest friends and I care about her a lot but sometimes it's emotionally draining having these kinds of feelings for her, and I'm stupid and spend way too much time agonizing over whether or not she still feels the same way about me. | Should I keep waiting for her like we agreed or save myself some heartache and withdraw a little? |
t3_2znao2 | askwomenadvice | (21m) Should I text this girl (20f), or is it too late? | A little back story, I've hung out with this girl at three different parties now. The fist party, we made out a bit and then fell asleep together. The second party I find out from her friend that she's kind of into me, and we had sex, but didn't really text much afterward. The third party (this one I invited her to, the other two were a friends), we had sex a second time, and i realized I might really like this girl. The next day I go out to another party however, get too drunk, and made-out with a random girl (a jerk move on my part). A friend of the girl who I had sex with was there and may or may not have told her what happened.
It's been a week now and neither of us have talked to each other.
Basically, I don't know if I should text, or if she's even looking for more. Should I try o take her out, or should I just let it be? | Had sex with a girl twice, but we didn't talk much in between. Then made-out with another random girl, and the first girl may have heard about it. Would I still be able to ask out the first girl even though it's been a week since we talked? |
t3_1lv7wb | relationships | [25M] with my [22/F] dating 3 months, she can't use a can opener...or cook.. | Should I be overly concerned?
I personally enjoy eating healthy, cooking most of my meals myself, etc.
She's a bit lazy and has never been much into the cooking thing. I've mentioned to her before that I wish we cooked together/she cooked every now and then. Last night, we had people over for the football game, and she decided she'd buy some taco dip ingredients and we'd make it together.
So we start following the recipe, and i hand her the can of beans so she can open/pour it in.
And then she asks me how to use the can opener. I was blown away, and for some reason, really disappointed in her. It's important for me to have someone who enjoys/knows how to cook rather than ordering carry out every night.
Am I over reacting? Is this a stupid thing to be hung up on? | girlfriend didn't know how to use a can opener. can't cook for tits. |
t3_2l6n2l | relationships | My [M28] girlfriend [F24] seems less and less interested in sex. I don't want to pressure her, but I'm not really sure how to breach the subject. | Firstly, I absolutely love her, and I'm not at a breaking point or anything, but we seem to be having less and less sex. I know frequency is never in the long term what it is in the beginning, but we've only been together a year, and I'm a little surprised to see we often go 1-2 weeks a without sex, and it's always initiated by me.
I want to talk to her, and I'm sure this would be the best route, but I'm not entirely sure where to start. I do think about her and I long term, but the idea of being a couple that has sex once a month seems evermore possible, and that kind of worries me. I can only speak for myself, but sex is a very important way I connect in a relationship, and I'm a little worried that, that connection seems to be fading a bit. | Girlfriend and I have been together for a year and we seem to be having less and less sex. |
t3_460vao | relationships | Guy [24M] that I [21F] used to talk to seems like he is trying to come back, but I don't trust it | So I met a guy on Tinder who seemed really into me for about a month but suddenly became super flaky, so at the advice of fellow Redditors (thanks fam) I stopped talking to him. That was 2 months ago.
Then yesterday (Valentine's Day, of all days -_-), out of the blue, he texted me, talking about how he wanted to reconnect with me. I basically tore him a new one and told him that it was his fault things fell apart (I tried really hard to stay in touch with him but he was pretty unresponsive). He agreed and apologized, and kept talking about how he hadn't been interested in any girls since me, and he'd do whatever it takes to get back on my good side. He also told me that the initial reason he became distant was because he got a promotion at work and became super busy, but then I wasn't texting him anymore so he thought I wasn't interested. He knows I haven't forgiven him and said he plans on fixing it. I told him that basically all he has to do is talk to me... But of course, after our long conversation about communication, I don't hear anything from him today.
I'm at a loss. I did really like him at one point but he was just so distant. And now it seems like he can't even handle just shooting me a text, despite that that's all I want from him. I don't want to reach out to him because I feel like I shouldn't have to, since he's the one who needs to fix things. But I also get this feeling that he's just talking to me because he's bored. I mean, two months...?
So what should I do now? I've got half a mind to tell him to fuck off, but I don't know if he's being sincere. And even if he is being sincere, should I give him another chance? | Guy ghosted for two months, then texted me on Valentine's Day trying to reconnect. We initially stopped talking because he was being distant, and he's already showing signs of doing it again. How to handle? Should I give him another chance? |
t3_1jgwn8 | relationship_advice | Abusive Relationships... ugh. | So I (f/18) have been dating a guy (m/18) for roughly 15 months now. However, for the past five or six months, he's been acting very aggressive and abusive when I'm upset about something. I won't lie -- I get upset about things pretty easily. However, he screams at me, insults me, and threatens me way more than I think I'm deserving. If we were arguing over the phone, he'd hang up and ignore every incoming call I try to make. However, after an hour of acting like this, he takes a breather and apologizes for how he was behaving. Each time, I take him back because I think he's just troubled and needs some guidance. However, it's getting to the point where I stay up until 6 AM trying to calm him down when I have to wake up at 7 AM for classes, or I stress myself out too much where I can't eat or sleep. He's tried therapy before, but it didn't change much. He has mother issues (she was very abusive, and she died back in 2005) and overall family issues. Would it be cruel of me to just opt out and leave him? I do believe I love him and some part of me THINKS he'll get better, but I'm not very sure anymore. The answer does seem pretty clear, but still, do you think it's worth it for me to stay? | My boyfriend has recently been very abusive, but we've been dating for so long that it may not be worth breaking up. Thoughts? |
t3_omup4 | AskReddit | A group of students cheated on our final exams, and the school freaked out. How should they be dealing with this? | Using a throwaway because some people at school know I use reddit.
A few idiots decided to take a picture of the final exam (the teacher's copy) and sent it to about 50 other students who had yet to take the final. Similar things happened for other classes (in one, the actual test was stolen). The following week, starting today, the school FREAKED OUT. teachers announced that **everybody** has to retake the final exams that had been "compromised". What makes it even more ridiculous is that they were to be taken *the very next day*. We are receiving no preparation, making the tests even more difficult.
What bothers me the most is that the school already has the names of who copied/stole the tests, and around 50 or so names of the people who used these copies. Yet the entire class is being disciplined. Is this fair of them?
I may just sound like an angry student that is just pissed that he has to retake his finals, but this seems like an overreaction on the school's part. Some people's grades may be lowered because of this, even though they had done nothing wrong. What's your opinion reddit? (optional: how do I get out of this?) | A few kids cheated on final exams, the entire class has to pay. |
t3_2zkp0a | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF [24 F] of 2 years - She told me she doesn't feel a connection, but still loves me | So recently, my girlfriend had been acting kind of distant and cold. We're in a long distance relationship (NYC & DC) and this is something you can pick up on pretty easily.
Two weeks go by and I finally ask her whats going on. She said she doesn't feel that we have a connection anymore but still loves me. She said she doesn't want to break up but doesn't know anymore. She's recently been through a very religious experience and therefore doesn't want to be physical or anything at all. She feels religious guilt for being with me. I'm agnostic but am looking to convert to her religious-subsect because I feel a connection with it. (objectively too, I always had a fascination with Islam before) I'm fully supportive of her decisions, I told her being physical isn't that important but I can let it go for her because I really do love her.
We have been through many ups and downs in the two years, breaking up always because of religion. She says she really loves me and I told her I want to make it work but she said she just doesn't know.
I suggested we take a break and re-evaluate and talk properly when I go visit her the weekend of March 28th. We're supposed to talk again tonight to kind of figure things out.
What do you guys think? I'm so lost, I really love this girl, she is my world. I don't want to loose her but I think I might. | Girlfriend told me she doesn't feel a connection anymore but still loves me. She's unsure what to do. I'm lost. |
t3_l6g45 | AskReddit | Reddit: what if I'm not physically attracted to my wife any more? | My wife and I have been together for about fifteen years. We have a son, and I love her very, very much. We *fit* together, and I have no intention of ever leaving her.
But here's the thing: For the past several years, she's been steadily gaining weight. She's now ~ 220 lbs. (5' 9"). I still love her as much as ever. But the BBW thing doesn't do it for me, and I'm not physically attracted to her any more. She was never a twig, but she used to be a healthy weight. Now, it's gone.
I've been trying to stay fit as I get older. I work out 2-3 times a week, go running, biking, climbing, etc., and I've gotten into pretty good shape. I try to get her to do some of these things with me, but it seems she always has an excuse. She's too tired, or she has a headache, or her feet hurt, or any number of other excuses. So she sits on the couch, watching TV, eating some junk. And I find myself perusing the porn sites, and I find myself gravitating toward sites like /r/hardbodies, looking at all the beautiful women that it seems I'll never have or see again.
Yes, it's a throwaway account, and I'm prepared for the mountains of scorn/abuse that will be heaped upon me by posting this, but I'm ready, because I really want suggestions as to how to handle this. I don't want to be a shallow, insensitive jerk, and like I said, I really do love her. But I'm just not into the way she looks, and I don't know what to do about it. | My wife has gained a lot of weight, and I don't find her attractive any more. |
t3_1xemym | relationships | My girlfriend (f/30) of 2 years told me (m/34) that we're on a break, out of nowhere. | throwaway for privacy reasons. If you really need to know who I am, then DM me.
Here's the setup: there was none. Asked for clarity, got none. Asked for a reason, got none. Asked for a timeline, got none.
I'm not here to poison the proverbial well or skew anyone's viewpoint about whose fault this is, as no one can truly be objective about a situation without knowing 100% of the story. Otherwise, we're just template matching from experiences.
All I know was that this afternoon we were fine and joking around, and tonight? We're on hold until I'm told otherwise.
As for my action in the situation, I didn't put up a fight, I respected her wishes... I only said that if we're on a break, then I don't want any contact until she has made up her mind in a more concrete way.
Am I doing the right thing, reddit? How could I have handled it better? | Was told she wanted a break out of the blue. No clue why. Did not see it telegraphed by myself or her. I am/was very committed to our relationship. |
t3_3xvvpb | relationships | My[22M] Sisters[40F] House burned down last night...so much for christmas.. | On the morning of the 22nd of December the house of my sister caught on fire by a accident, the damage is estimated to 100'000.- CHF
Thank god nothing happened to her and her family.
The year has been really tough..our father is barely clinging to his live, she visits him everyday and takes care of him, so he doesn't have to go to a retirement home. We are having financial problems and just so much shit is going on...
She lost everything, nevermind the electronics, all her memories of our grandparents got wiped out by a vicious fire, caused by a stupid smokingpipe. It breaks my heart that she and her family are homeless now and that the last christmas with my father is ruined for them.
I can't visit them because of the lack of financials, and I can barely keep my own head over the water at the moment. I really don't know what to do right now..all I could do was to call and check if they are healthy...I kinda feel helpless! | Sisters house burned down, she lost everything and is now 100'000.- CHF in debt, don't know how to handle this. |
t3_4nfzis | tifu | TIFU by not recognizing my coworker | This happened 5 minutes ago from this posting. Yay. So there's this new guy whose supposed to come in right next to my desk. I only work Mon, Tues, and Fri, so I haven't been to work in two days.
I see this guy sitting at the new guys desk and think "Hey, he must have just come in this week instead of next week." so naturally I introduce myself. Problem is I met the guy last week, and spent an hour with him... In my defense he wasn't wearing a hat last time. We laughed it off, but I still feel like a moron. | Introduced myself to my coworker for the second time in a week. |
t3_11b0gc | AskReddit | What was your night you wish you could, but can never forget? | Mine was a patry in which my friend and I got shit faced and decided to climb to the roof, take off our clothes, and jump into the pool. Once we got out, we proceeded to walk around and party, still naked.
Following morning, I wake up in his sisters bed (she wasnt in it) went outside, said good morning to his mother who was making pancakes for breakfast. I gulped down a few, then went outside to help with the clean up. When I got outside, I felt a breeze on my man parts, looked down and sure enough. I had just eaten pancakes at my friends GLASS table with his mother, completely naked. Needless to say, I got my clothes off the roof and hightailed it out of there. | Got drunk, climbed roof, got naked, jumped in pool, fell asleep, ate breakfast with friends mother having full view of my junk, went outside to assess damage, realized what had happened. |
t3_r01kv | AskReddit | What's the worst thing you ever did at a job and got away with/didn't get fired for? | Mine: My first job was at a buffet-style restaurant working as a meat carver when I was 16. One night, the line to the meat station was about 50 people deep, and I had just received a new 40 pound roast from the kitchen. A few customers in, and this big burley guy asks for a rare piece. As you might expect with a roast that size, it tends to be more done around the outside, and more rare in the middle. I told him, "Sorry, it will be a while before I can get to the rare stuff". He says, "bullshit, just cut that sucker in half and give me a peice from the middle!". I'm working on a little cart with barely enough cutting space to fit the roast, let alone two halves, so I politely tell him I can't do that. The guy goes ape shit and starts cussing me out at the top of his lungs. Being a 16 yr old kid, I just sit there and take it. Finally, he leaves me there, utterly humiliated in front of a line of hungry people. Fast forward 15 minutes or so, I'm carving away as fast as I can, still frazzled by the verbal bashing I took, and in a momentary lapse of attention, my carving knife slipped up the serving fork, and sliced into my index finger all the way to the bone. It starts litterally spurting blood, like scene out of a Tarantino flick, all over the top of the roast. The line clears out immediately amid screams of horror and disgust. I go back into the office and bandage my finger, go back out to the line and start cleaning up when - who do you think shows up? "Yeah, right there, that looks good, give me that one". So I gave it to him. A nice big, congealed slab of it. Funny thing is, under the blood, it was still well done. Two of my co-workers saw it happen, and word promptly spread. I was sure it would be my last day, but I never got anything more than a gruesome reputation. | I fed a customer my blood - after all, he asked for it. |
t3_2b1dqy | travel | Problems w/ Vayama (budget ticket seller) now stuck in Japan and seeking advice | I am currently a study abroad student wrapping up my semester in Kyoto, Japan. Before I booked my flights on Air Canada as a round trip ticket through vayama.com. When I bought my ticket, I had not done a great deal of planning so I set a late return date (August 27th) expecting that I could use the entire month to travel or pay a small fee to have this changed. A few weeks ago I determined that I could not really afford to travel during the month of August, so I should change my return flight to Raleigh, NC to the end of July. Because I am phone-less I had my parents contact Air Canada on my behalf. They were told that because the ticket was booked through Vayama, a discount ticket service, they are not able to process an exchange. My parents then contacted vayama and have encountered terribly unhelpful customer service. When my reach out to vayama and explain that they would like change my return flight they are told to expect and email with a list of flights that fit my availability. After waiting for a few hours we receive this email:
"You recently contacted Vayama requesting to make a change to your existing airline reservation. We regret that we are unable to change your ticket. That is because the tickets you have are based on special rates that have less availability due to the high demand for these discounted prices.
If you travel date is flexible, please kindly provide new date option."
This has happened multiple times and not once has vayama offered us an exchange. So, now I am stuck with a ticket that I cannot make use of until the end of August. To make matters worse, my apartment lease expires at the end of July. I am frustrated and at a loss for what to do next. Does anyone have any experience in dealing with vayama? Advice of any kind would be greatly appreciated! | stuck in Japan for a month and unable to change my return flight because of a budget ticket seller. Need help! |
t3_2sv2pb | relationships | I've never celebrated Valentine's Day with anyone before, & am not sure what is "too much" or "too little". Advice? | While I've (26F) been with someone for Vday in the past, we've never done anything for it; however my current boyfriend (29M) is very special to me and we have plans to get married in a couple years (we've been together almost 1YR), so I want to do something nice for him.
I'm aware that some kind of sweet is usually exchanged for Vday, like chocolate, but what about gifts? I asked a girlfriend for advice, but she said her fiancé has always just bought her gifts himself, while she does nothing, which seems weird to me.
One part of my gift will be making a certain kind of cheesecake & with a special pan I purchased for making it in. The cost of cheesecake materials plus pan will come out around $35, which is fairly pricey for me, but I really wanted to bake him something he loves.
I also purchased a book to go with it, but I've been seeing a lot of things suggesting that gifts aren't really done for Vday. Right now, I'm between cheesecake/card/book or cheesecake/card/activity (to be planned for when the weather improves). Either seems nice to me, but given that I don't know whether Vday gifts usually total $10 or $30 or $100, I wanted advice. Thoughts? | I've never given gifts for Valentine's Day before, and want to be sure I'm "doing it right". Where does Vday lie on the Christmas-to-random-surprise-from-the-supermarket scale? |
t3_3h0kvt | relationships | Me [22 M] got broken up with by my ex [19F] - I'm desperate to find someone new. Am I a relationship-whore? | So I've been single a total of one year since I was 15. I don't know and don't care if this is unhealthy or not, being alone is just not me. My relationships has lasted everywhere between 6 months and 2.5 years, and I've always found "someone better" than the last. I got broken up with four weeks ago, I'm okay now, but I feel like I won't be able to find someone like her again.
I'm happy with myself, I workout, got goals and ambitions and I'm working towards them. I see people as much as I can because I like being around other people, but I'm losing hope already. This is not normal, I am not normal, as far as I can tell. I want to be able to stand on my own, but I just don't like being alone, I feel purposeless, I want to be good FOR someone. I felt like I was put on this earth to care and love my ex, and now that I'm rejected I feel as if I've lost my purpose.
I force myself to workout, study, work etc because that's who I am, but I'm literally dying a little each day that I don't find that special someone. Again, this is not normal, but it's a part of who I am.
What I need is hope, I need to hear that I'm still young and that I'll find someone someday, that I don't know what love really is yet, that there is hope for me. So I'm asking all of you, older than me, how long did you wait for your SO? How many failed relationships? How did you meet? Please..
Thank you for reading, and thank you even more if you reply. | I am a relationship-whore, I am Ted Mosby, I die a little inside every day that I don't find that special someone, and it's only been four weeks since my ex broke up with me. I want to know there is hope, that I will find someone. |
t3_39yxlv | relationships | I(25F) slept with someone else while talking to a 25M for 1 month, do i tell him? | Back story. I met a guy online who lives several hours away. We talk all the time and have skyped a million times, feels like we really know each other. It has been clearly defined that we have interest in it going further, but no relationship definitions have been made. I stupidly slept with someone else, and regret it so much. I didnt even want to do it, idk why i let it happen. I feel like i cheated on him, even though we arent technically together. I know he wont forgive me if i tell him, but i really dont want to loose him. Do i tell him or not? Either way its killing me, and if i dont tell him ill feel like im lying and hiding things, but we arent together so idk why i feel that way :( ugh, please help.
Overall i just feel like we care about each other so much, and i know better..that things didnt need to be defined just to not be a shitty person and sleep with someone else. I feel like the relationship will be forever tainted by this. Am i overthinking?? | slept with someone even though ive been talking to someone else that i really care about. Tell him or no? |
t3_vssji | AskReddit | What is the most effortless job that you have ever had? | I'll start. I was an air sampling technician for asbestos abatement project. Essentially, I would go to a construction site, set up a few pumps (30 mins), check to make sure they are working every couple of hours (5 mins per time), and a bit of paperwork at the end (15 mins). Other then that I could do whatever I want during the time, but have to stay at the site. They say the hardest part of the job is not getting bored. I would usually watch movies on my laptop, work on my own projects, and be on reddit if I could find internet. So, it was fine for me. One time there was another technician with me at site so we played board games. | air sampling technician |
t3_ye4h9 | AskReddit | A life long dream my bestie and I share is to visit Europe - and we finally have the means to do so. Reddit, how/where/when/what should we go and do to give us the best "all encompassing" experience thru Europe? | My best friend (25 yo F) and I (24 yo F) recently graduated from college and landed great, stable jobs. We have done some research on different destinations, but I have found that personal testimonies and recommendations have proven to be far more beneficial in helping narrow down endlessly long lists. We have just started saving money for this trip, which we have tentatively planned for the later half of 2013 (this date is flexible). We are estimating our budget to be between 2000-3000 USD (moderately flexible) including airfare - we will be flying from the US. We want to eventually see the whole world, but we are starting with Europe.
Ideally, we want to see and experience as much as we can in about a 3 week period. In our heads, we planned to select several destinations (cities, tiny country towns, landmarks...) and travel to each location spending no more than a few days at each objective. Our method of transportation is still unknown. Preferably, we would like to have a semi-solid plan laid out instead of flying by the seat of our pants (that's my roommate's ass-stick talking, there is no way her anal retentive OCD will let her ad lib her way thru a foreign continent). And that's it. That's as far as we have narrowed our plans.
Reddit, we don't really have any solid ideas. Any advice you can offer regarding amazing locations or events to visit, how to travel around (we can both drive in US), and little-known and well-kept secrets about anything. Feel free to post a blueprint of your Europe quest-plans (accomplished, failed, still in-progress..), random tips, or even stories of your own adventures.. please enlighten us! | Halp us together a detailed flowsheet-outline-plan for 2 (mid-20's) girls to travel thru Europe for 3 weeks, highlighting all the best locations (1-3 night stay at each), and seeing as much as possible to ensure the best "well rounded" European trip (evar..). |
t3_xih3w | relationship_advice | [22/M/3 years] Ended long term relationship and I don't know why. | My 3 year is coming up with my girlfriend [21/f] in September and I just broke up with her a few days ago. It seems like for no reason. Over the past couple months I have lost that certain "something". I no longer sent her random "I love you" texts and I stopped being the first to say it in conversation. She has never been anything but amazing, supportive and loving to me. I don't know whats wrong with me but I found myself hitting on other girls and had a drunken kiss at a club. Part of me worries I'm just being shallow. When we started dating I was a scrawny 6'0 140lbs and she was a fit 5'4 135lb. After years of hitting the gym I've gotten quite big at 175lbs and she's done the opposite. She no longer exercises and has gained about 15lbs since we've started dating. I still think her face is the most gorgeous I've seen but I'm not as turned on by her body type. Do I owe it to her to stay away? I am already missing talking to her and can barely fall asleep without hearing her goodnight. I am checking my phone to see if she's called or texted and in the back of my head I want her too. I don't know If I became bored, scared of the commitment in a long term relationship or just too immature for one. So should I stay away or try fixing it? | Ended 3 year relationship with loving girlfriend and I have no idea what I really want |
t3_1sib3j | cats | Questions about catsitting and introducing the cat to my own cats. | Hi guys!
I need some expert cat advice.
My friend's apartment caught fire, nothing much but there was smoke damage and they'll have to stay with the parents for about a week... and the mother is super allergic to cats. So I said I'd do it.
She's this really tiny female, adult but kitten sized.
I have a two cats, Truffles [1yr6m] and Nacho [6months, not neutered yet]. They are very friendly with everyone and are best friends with each other. Introducing Nacho to Truffles was really easy because I had a glass door in my old apartment, so they got to hiss and swat at the glass a few times before meeting directly, but when they did it was instant playing.
My biggest worry is that Nacho is not neutered yet, and he's hitting puberty hard, going crazy! Is there a chance he may try to hump her and they end up fighting?
I don't want this to be any more stressful on them than it has to be. SO I have a spare room that I can keep her in, but Truffles can open ANY door in this apartment and I don't have time to get a lock, she's coming tomorrow morning (It's after 10PM here) | Please, if you have experience fostering or catsitting, what do you do to introduce the temporary cats and avoid stress for you and them? |
t3_2b6tvh | personalfinance | Looking for some general budgeting advice. | I have already read the FAQ and although it was helpful i am looking for more general advice.
I will soon be moving from an unpaid intern position to a full time salaried employee. At that point I need to move out of my parents house and get a different car( my current car is falling apart). That all being said the advice I am looking for is, around what percentage or fraction of my income should each or both of these two things(rent, car payment) take up? I'm not sure yet what i will be paid, i am just trying to plan for the future. If this question is answered somewhere please let me know and i will delete the post. | What percentage should Rent and a car payment take up of my monthly take home? |
t3_1qp89f | relationships | Me [31 M] with my 3 [19/20/31 F's] 4 months, have issues discerning my actions having 3 girlfriends at once. | I'm at a point now where I regularly am seeing three women sometimes two in one day, and I have equal and parallel feelings for all three.
I don't value any one over the other, as they all bring something different to the relationship. Two of them know about each other and are completely cool with it while the third is in the dark and while I've never told her we are exclusive, I've also never told her we aren't either. It's sort of an ambiguous relationship if anything.
My issue at hand really is... after a certain period of time, I'm fairly convinced that I'm going to have to choose one to focus on primarily and possibly stop seeing the other two. I can't do this though. As I've said my feelings for all three are genuine and not just booty calls, and I don't want/like hurting people as that is completely against my nature.
Am I headed down a dark road here if I continue on without changing anything and deepen my relationships with all three? How have any of you that have been in this situation handled it? | I have 3 women I'm seeing very regularly and I'm worried this is going to end badly at some point once feelings grow deeper among all three. |
t3_ry5wa | relationships | How do I get my brother to stop talking politics? | Hey /r/relationships, I have a little boring conundrum.
My brother is 17, and I'm about 4 years older than him. Up until my parents moved back to the US a couple years ago, we had a normal brother-sister relationship. He had no idea about US politics and we had normal conversations.
But now he's in an American high school, and in his AP Gov class, they started talking about politics when he joined. And he learned that, fiscally, he's VERY conservative. He doesn't agree with them socially at all, but he cares more about money than social issues. Meanwhile, I lean more towards moderate/left.
No one else in our family is remotely interested in politics, so he usually waits till I come home from college, or he messages me on facebook, random political links, or videos where Obama looks idiotic, or where someone is so liberal it's apparently funny.
If I ever say something he doesn't agree with, on that spectrum, he always 'accuses' me of being a liberal.
I quickly get tired of this after ten mins, and I would rather not get links from him every day talking about politics. I have told him multiple times that I honestly would just rather talk about something else. I enjoy a healthy debate, but this just gets boring.
What do I do? | My brother and I are on opposite ends of the political spectrum and keeps trying to debate/talk to me about it. |
t3_4elj0u | relationships | Me [25 M] with my friend [21 F] says she wants friends with no expectations? detail in post | Okay, a little while ago I met a girl through a friend. After a week we ended up sleeping together, when we got round to talking about it the outcome was that we both liked each other.
My thing is that I do rather like her, but when we went out the other day we had the talk about it all again. I told her I like her etc, she likes me to but isn't sure about relationships after a string of bad ones and the outcome ended up being 'friends with no expectations'. At the time I thought that's fine but now I'm sitting around thinking 'what does that even mean?' and wondered if anyone here had an understanding of that before I ask her. | What does she mean by 'friends with no expectations'? |
t3_3d9jss | relationships | Me [28 F] with my husband [28 M] of 4 years. When I want to leave during an argument physically blocks me from leaving and takes my phone so I can't call anyone. | This has happened before but it happened again this morning and I want to know what I can do about it in the future.
We had an argument this morning around 8:30, nothing too serious. I needed to go to the doctor (non emergency) and wanted him to take me and stay (he doesn't work until 11). He didn't want to take me, he wanted to stay home and work (he works from home and is choosing to work before he has to start). I was upset that he was choosing his job over me and told him I was leaving to go to work and would make an appointment with my doctor instead of going to the clinic. He knew I was upset with him and didn't want me to leave. I told him I wanted to go to work and we would talk later. He blocked me from leaving and when I tried to use my phone he grabbed it out of my hands.
He doesn't ever hit me but he frequently blocks me from leaving and if I try to push through to get by he claims I am attacking him. If I try to call someone to say I am being held against my will he takes my phone. I am wondering if this is domestic violence and what can I do in the immediate situation to get myself away. I usually have to wait until he calms down which can make me late for things like work. | Husband blocks me from leaving and takes my phone, what should I do? |
t3_501rrz | relationships | Me [25F] with my parents [50s M/F]. Need perspective on communication between child and parent.. (Non-Romantic) | I don't wish to go into loads of details about the problems in my family(parents, me and two sisters (22 and 27)), they are pretty standard I think, but in general we talk a lot and see each other often. All us girls are living on our own, though not too far from parents. Our parents help us a lot and have been great at pushing us to be independant and find our own happiness.
Lately my parents are having some issues.. They seem to be marital problems, but I believe them to be much deeper personal problems they both are having, and constantly recommend therapy and/or couples counseling. This doesn't really interest them much so onto the real issue.
My parents occasionally talk to me about the issues, and I provide my mother comfort sometimes if she is angry or sad and can't muster much besides complaints. I really like that I can be there for her and let her vent and talk. I want to provide comfort and be involved. I also like that my dad shares his side with me sometimes, although I am a little tough on him, because I don't believe he has been the best husband over the years. But I never berate or accuse him, I just try to listen a lot.
The problem is that my father grew up as being leaned on by his mother when she was having issues with his dad. This was when my dad was quite young, and though he adores his mother, he resents parents who lean on their kids for support. Now I understand this, but I think it should only apply to young or immature children, or kids who have too many of their own problems. I feel like I can easily be there for them as they are there for me now.. Is this unrealistic? Should parents hide their marriage and personal problems from the kids to shield them of guilt/worry? I do worry about them, but I don't feel like I shouldn't be concerned and involved in their lives this way.. I love them and only want them to be happy.. I am sad my mother tells me she doesn't want to worry me and apologizes for telling me her troubles.. | My parents share their problems with me and my mother seeks comfort and support from me sometimes, is this wrong? Should parents not involve their grown up children in their problems and rely on them for support? |
t3_jh4fv | jobs | Interview on Monday and could use some advice. | I'm fairly new to Reddit and I've heard you guys make miracles happen so here I am. I also apologize for a long post. First, some of my background: I graduated in December with a Master of Science. I got a job near my hometown and realized quickly it wasn't for me (for various reasons). However, I was going to stay at that job - that is, until they fired me. Their reasons were that I wasn't "a good fit for their clinic" and they let me go four days before my evaluation period was up. They also hired two people when they only had one position open so I think money also had something to do with it but they didn't say that. That was a little over a month ago.
Now, I am enrolled at the local community college to start a program that I am very interested in and have been for a while. I definitely think it's more what I would like to do plus it's in human medicine which means more jobs available and more money. I have an interview on Monday for a position in which I am not terribly interested in but not totally against. I'm really just indifferent. I just really, really need the job but I would have to drop out of school which is fine with me as long as I enjoy it. So my question is: what can I say to them that will convince them I am the right person for the job when I'm really just desperate for something? I wouldn't even use this job as a placeholder as long as I enjoy it and it pays the bills. | I have a job interview on Monday for a position I am indifferent about but I need it badly. How do I convince them I'm the best person for the job? |
t3_1xwdhq | weddingplanning | Wedding pictures: How long is too long to wait? Wedding was October 19 and they still haven't arrived. | We had my husband's cousin do our wedding pictures. She did our engagement pictures, too, and
[she did an absolutely fantastic job.]
(
She also gave us half off her normal rate. She is the absolute sweetest person, I love her to death.
However, she keeps missing her deadlines for getting the pictures to us. I waited to ask her until January 1st, and on January 6th she said they'd be done by the end of January. I asked her again on February 7th, and February 10th she responded saying "a couple days". Here we are 5 days past that.
My cousin got married December 27, and her pictures are in and all over Facebook. My patience has run out.
Advice? | Our cousin, the photographer, has taken 4 months and still no wedding pictures. What should I do? |
t3_1dw5dg | loseit | 21/f/5'7/~170lbs... Help with poor eating habits and getting back on track! | Hello loseit,
I've lurked here for a while and I'm finally deciding to post (on a throwaway as many of my IRL friends know my normal account). As the title suggests, I am a 21 year old female weighing in at about 170 pounds, perhaps slightly more. At my heaviest (around January 2012), I weighed roughly 205 pounds. Last summer I did a lot of walking because I took the bus to my job and I didn't eat much because I had no money. This caused me to unintentionally drop about 20 pounds. When I went back to college in the fall and realized how much weight I'd lost, I began to actually try to keep a healthy lifestyle which led to another roughly 20 pound drop in weight. My goal weight is around 145/150, but I'm not too picky about numbers.
Unfortunately this second weight drop was not a result of healthy eating habits but instead a very restrictive (calorie-wise) diet and some mild exercise. I am studying abroad this semester and while I still walk a decent amount and do some situp/pushup type exercises in my room, my diet has gotten continuously worse and I have put on about 10 pounds. I'm starting to get scared that I am losing control and before I know it will be 200 pounds and unhappy again.
More about my eating habits.. I have a tendency to basically starve myself during the day (might eat a small sandwich with a cup of coffee, some snacks here and there) and then binge terribly late at night on what is usually crap food. This is partially due to my marijuana use, but I have had a propensity to binge eat since I was much younger. I also drink maybe 2-3 drinks 3-4 times a week on average.
I guess a fairly obvious solution to my problem is to eat more during the day, but my schedule varies so much and often changes unexpectedly so it is really hard for me to get on a regular eating schedule. Additionally, I have not found that eating properly during the day always diminishes my urge to eat at night, particularly if I smoke. This just fucks with my eating schedule and leaves me with no appetite during the day. | I dropped a bunch of weight but my late-night binges and relatively inactive lifestyle are pulling me in the other direction. |
t3_te634 | AskReddit | My thoughts on relationships. Is it weird the way I feel about them? | I've been single for awhile now by choice. My friends once set me up with a girl, (while I told them not to) and while she was very pretty, but I didn't like the thought of being with another person and having a serious relationship. I don't feel the same way about friends though. I've have great friends and hangout with them any chance I get. I like to goof around and I guess you can call me some what immature so it's hard for me to take things seriously especially a relationship. Many people think because I don't get into a relationship I am not attracted to the women but this is not true. I'm not sure what to think because I want to be with myself forever because I feel like that's the way i am, but many of my friends and parents want me to be with someone and have a family one day, which is hard for me to imagine. | I don't like relationships and want to be alone forever. |
t3_2iznlg | dogs | What should I be feeding my Great Dane puppy? | So I'll preface that I've already gotten some information from the breeder, our regular vet, and another vet in the same office, but the explanation is long. Our puppy is a little over 12 weeks old and is very healthy. He currently eats Blue Buffalo Freedom Grain-Free (lamb flavored).
After we got our puppy we took him into our vet for his checkup. We were running out of the food the breeder provided us, so we consulted with our regular vet and we decided on the Blue Buffalo Freedom. After switching him over, he initially was not gaining weight quickly and his ribs became very visible. When we went back in for his next round of shots we met with a different vet within the same office who said that he was "baffled" that the other vet would have suggested an adult food like Blue Buffalo Freedom. He told us to switch our Dane puppy over to a large breed puppy food.
So here's the question. The latter vet's advice about the large breed puppy food directly contravenes what the breeder and first vet said. Both told us that we shouldn't feed a Great Dane puppy food because those food formulae have added protein which would increase his growth rate beyond what it should be. The latter vet said that his advice was the "outdated train of thought." I have yet to switch him over, and instead started to give him a bit more food each feeding (3 times a day until 6 months). He seems to be gaining weight just fine, and we don't see his ribs anymore.
What do you guys suggest? Should we stick to the adult Blue Buffalo Freedom? or should we switch to a large-breed puppy formula? Sorry this post got super long, but I wanted to be sure to give you guys all the information, partly to inform you and partly to make sure I don't seem overly stupid lol.
Thanks for you help! | One vet and breeder said to give Great Dane puppy adult Blue Buffalo Freedom, another vet said to give him large-breed puppy formula. Luckily on the Blue Buffalo he is gaining weight and appears healthy. Should we switch or not? |
t3_4woem3 | legaladvice | [TX] I have a disability & have some generalized questions regarding my employer. | I have fibromyalgia. I've had it for 12 yrs, but in the last 2 months my health has taken a serious turn for the horrible. Not getting into details but suffice to say I've been deemed disabled by my doctors.
I have kept my employer in the loop about my decline, as I am still at work on a daily basis & everyone can see some of the symptoms, as they aren't concealable. He claims he is willing to accommodate me when we speak, but has shot down every suggestion my doctors have made for accommodations & is now telling me that I'm required to leave or call in if I run a fever (which because of my disability I do literally constantly).
The question is, as a disabled person, what are my rights from a legal stand point? How am I protected in this situation, if I am at all?
Sorry for long story. | became disabled, job being threatened (?). Do I have rights? |
t3_1bod8l | relationships | My mom's [53f] best friend [45f] is forbidden from speaking to her, what can I [18m] do? | My mom's best friend [45f] will not speak with my mom [53f], and has even requested that she move away from their street (they're neighbors). Before I get into the ordeal, I should say our families are much different; they operate in what is similar to a 1950's household and are extremely religious. Our house on the other hand, is much more alternative (my parents are fine with us smoking, going out, etc).
The whole issue started when my dad, after a fight with my mom, told her (my mom's best friend) husband about my mom's past history of drug use (it happened 35 years ago) and how he didn't approve of her parenting methods. Her husband is now completely ignoring my mom and forbid my mom's best friend from speaking with her. My mom is extremely hurt, and told me today she feels "dirty and vile." My mom's best friend already knew most of what her husband had been told, but she is obedient to her husband and will not speak to her.
I absolutely can't stand to see my mom is this kind of pain. The drug incident happened 35 years ago, my mom turned her life around after it happened and now has a very successful career in the sciences. It seems very asinine for something like this to separate best friends of five years.
I [18m] was thinking about talking to my mom's best friend and her husband to tell them that my mom feels extremely lonely and hurt. I mean, we live across the street from eachother, I'm not sure how long they can just ignore us. My mom sent over flowers but it doesn't seem her husband is willing to budge on the issue. My parents are also having relationship issues so she needs a best friend now more than ever. | My mom's best friend is forbidden from speaking to her by order of her husband due to my mom's previous drug history. |
t3_3fqt0y | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [32 M] 8 months, I don't know how to deal with anger/annoyance productivly | I'm not sure how to process my feelings of anger/frustration/annoyance after minor arguments with my boyfriend.
For example; yesterday he was quite distracted when he came home from work over leaving his keys there, so I let him be and went and made dinner. No big deal. I then went to see how he was feeling and he asked me how my day was so I started to tell him. It was pretty obvious he had stopped listening after the first sentence (and I only said two sentences!).
Anyway, I found it annoying and told him so (basically: don't ask a question if you're not interested in the answer). He apologised and that should have been the end of it. But I was still annoyed for hours after, even though I knew it wasn't a big deal.
What normally happens is that I feel anger, try to express it calmly, and then just get very distant. I feel almost numb. I hate it, it's a waste of time and I'm punishing someone that I don't want to hurt.
One theory I have for why this is, is because I grew up in a very, er, 'shouty' family. Basically, we yelled at each other to express any emotion. I never liked it and vowed I wouldn't behave like that in a relationship BUT I don't know what else to do to release/deal with the emotion.
The question is: how do I process my emotion and let it go? I seem to get stuck in a mood and can't shake it. | I struggle to deal with feelings of anger/frustration/annoyance after minor arguments with my boyfriend. |
t3_1gcqp4 | relationships | Help tactfully delivering constructive criticism to a older, more experienced coworker (Me 25F, him 39M) | Hello relationship gurus!
I will give you a bit of background. I have been working closely with 39M for a year now. Our job requires us to speak directly with clients on a day-to-day basis, delivering comprehensive software training to them on our products through a webinar format.
I've been delivering these trainings longer than my coworker, however, he has had a lot of experience on our clients' end, and obviously has many more years in the professional world.
The issue: Today during one of my training webinars, a client expressed to me that he had had 2 previous trainings with my coworker, and he was left feeling stressed out because coworker did not address some issues he was having and tried to "brush him under the rug" so to speak. He told me this really impacted his ability to get the most out of the training, and that he really appreciated my empathetic approach to his issues. He asked me to please pass this along gently to my coworker, so that future clients wouldn't end up feeling the same way. The client was more than respectful and said multiple times he didn't "want to criticize" my coworker, but that he'd appreciate if I'd pass along his words.
So this is the hard part. I want my coworker to be able to grow and improve in his interaction with our clients, but I don't want to come off the wrong way, especially since I am so young. I certainly don't want to upset him or make him feel that he is doing a bad job, because I think he is for the most part awesome at what he does. Do I even pass these comments along? I feel like I am obligated to, in a way, but at the same time, I am a little nervous about how to go about this tactfully, respectfully, and professionally.
How would you handle this delicate situation? Thanks so much in advance for your expertise! :) | I received comments from one of our company's clients that my (25F) more experienced coworker (39M) didn't address the clients' issues in a satisfactory way. I think it is a legitimate complaint, and wonder how to go about passing along this criticism to my coworker in a constructive way, if at all. |
t3_2k6c3y | relationship_advice | [15/gay/m] Just had a weird dream about kissing this kid I run cross country with (even though I dislike him as a person) and I'm worried the dream means something? | I know its not about an existing relationship, but this seems like the best place to post.
Long story short, I run cross country, and theres this really annoying kid (lets call him justin since thats his name) who does nothing but start arguments, make fun of people, and fuel existing arguments throughout all the practices, but since hes our fastest runner and hes only a junior, hes kinda popular on the team. Im in varsity too, so I talk to him a good amount (theres only 7 varsity runners), and he pisses me the fuck off like crazy, but last night I had a dream where we were in a relationship and we were kissing and stuff and i woke up like 'what the fuck?!?!'. NOTE - im gay, he knows this, and while he isnt homophobic, he makes gay jokes all the time and calls people (not me though) fags and stuff (he makes fun of jews and white people too since hes the token black kid and he thinks that means he can be racist). anyways, why did i have this dream? i really hope i dont have a crush on him and im kinda worried because it didnt really feel strange or anything in the dream??? has anyone dealt with something like this before that can help me? thanks in advance | theres a really annoying kid on my cross country team and i had a dream that we were like in a relationship or something and we kissed in the dream and im worried that it means something <:( please help! |
t3_xqdyl | dating_advice | (m/20) I'm starting to have feelings for a long time friend (13 yrs) (f/20) and not sure if she's trying to give me a hint about it or I'm reading into it too much | We have been next door neighbors in a semi- backwoods area for 14 years and are both now in different colleges, we became friends a year after I moved into my house. We were always tight friends but we talked a lot less since leaving for college. We've always talked each other through the other ones problems.
Both of us just got out of long term (2 year) relationships (mine ended 3 months ago and hers ended a month ago) and I was in a weird place for a while and started having feelings for her but decided that it was just because I was messed up after my break up. The feelings haven't gone away and we've started hanging out every day for the past couple weeks.
She just got an apartment and I have drank then slept over twice now, both times she wanted me to sleep in her room (on the floor). First time I thought it was just a comfort thing, she's never lived on her own and she was pretty scared, but she's slept on her own there now and asked me too again.
We've always been pretty comfortable talking about anything and all our friends have always said that we were going to end up getting married but we always laughed it off because we didn't really think of each other that way. Now I'm starting to and it's a little weird for me.
She has started talking a lot about sex around me and how horny she is. We have talked about sex before while we were in our relationships but never as much as she is now.
I want to tell her about it but I feel like if I just bring it up and she doesn't feel the same way it might be weird and I would rather stay friends with her than risk the chance of ruining it. | have feelings for a long time friend and want to find a way to tell her / find out if she feels the same way without ruining our friendship. |
t3_2p83pq | askwomenadvice | Looking to do things more with female friends to have fun, but not really working. 18ish M | Ill go back a bit, I am a young adult that has had some issue in the past that kept me from really doing things socially. Fast forward a bit to now where I am a bit better and want to try and have fun. I have a couple of female friends that I met recently that are really nice and I try to be integrated more with and have fun with, ie not looking for a relationship with, just liked by them.
I have been told im sweet and nice a couple of times by them too, but my social issues always (socially reserved, a bit nervous) makes me feel like they don't like me. I don't do stupid things or try to be a jerk,Ie be helpful, check on them every so often (just be a gentleman), but I always feel if I were to ask to do something-Even if I don't exactly know what to do, they would say no and look at me why would I even ask. I always feel wrong when around them, but I ask if I did anything and they say im fine. I am not necessarily the most outgoing, but will do things. | looking to be more integrated and liked,but not wanting to ruin friendships. |
t3_36kkd8 | relationships | How can I [F19] act cool about something that I hate so that my SO [M20] won't leave me? | Specifically, drugs.
I don't do recreational drugs and don't really feel the need to do them either. My boyfriend on the other hand is quite a heavy social pot smoker, I was always fine about it but ever since we started living together I just hate when he's high. He acts so much different and I love sober him the most. I always get mad when he's high and I hate that I get mad. I just want to act cool about it because after I get mad I feel even worse because I remember he's not hurting anyone and he's still an awesome person. Its come to the point now where I think he will leave me if I don't chill out a bit more. ITS ONLY WEED AND I DONT WANT TO FIGHT ABOUT IT ANYMORE :( | My boyfriend smokes weed, I don't really like it but I love him. How do I just ignore it? |
t3_4gna9f | relationships | Can I (F21) name-drop my SO (M21) for an internship? | I had posted to /r/etiquette, but I'm wondering if I will get more responses here.
I know this isn't the smartest idea, but I wanted an opinion if this is completely unprofessional and unheard of.
My SO (M21) Dan and I are both college students majoring in completely different fields. I have secured an internship for the upcoming summer. He also applied to that same company but for a very separate department due to our differing majors. He never heard back, but it's been over a month since he applied.
I had been in contact with one of the future interns, and she told me that she notified the company she was retracting her offer acceptance to work with another company. Her position is in the field that Dan is studying.
Could I email my recruiter and professionally let her know "hey, I know that someone dropped an internship position late in the game, if you're looking to quickly fill the position opening my SO is interested and capable?" I would not serve as his reference or attest to his ability - just simply letting my recruiter know of his interest as a candidate and that he would act quickly. I would also state that he is my SO to be completely transparent and upfront of my bias.
My recruiter is not someone I'll be working under for the summer, and my SO and I would be working in completely different departments, so I'm wondering if this is okay - or if my recruiter would be appalled and that would hurt me down the line. I haven't actually started interning there, so I don't know if it's in my right to suggest anyone or name-drop. | There's an internship opening for the company I will be interning at this upcoming summer in a different department. I'm wondering if I can name-drop my boyfriend to my recruiter in an email. |
t3_4zae2g | tifu | TIFU by Forgetting to Breathe | So, in 2015, mid-way through the first month of school, I had changed schools and was trying to find my place in this vast expanse of peer groups and cliques. Things went pretty well for first period, I was just a little bit on edge, but, during second period, things took a turn for the silly. I had sat in the back of the class because everyone else had already picked their seats. The teacher opened up with a pretty normal introduction to the class, but then suggested that we take all information down on the slides, because this is one of the most important classes of the year and all of the information will be in the exam...
So, I got to typing my notes and was focusing really hard, because even with a computer, I type slower than most people write and was having a hard time keeping up. Eventually, I started feeling light headed, but I figured I was just hungry and ignored it. Shortly after that, I started seeing spots in my vision and my head was pounding like a drum, but I still just figured maybe I was sick and would leave after class. But then, I started to feel the world spin, my hands and feet got pins and needles, my vision had become nothing but a tunnel and I felt like just going to sleep, even going so far as to laying my head down on the table...
... it was at this precise moment I realized I hadn't taken a breath in well over a minute and in a panic, I gasped as hard as I possibly could.
Apparently, I gasped so loudly I caught the attention of the entire class, the lesson having stopped and the teacher started to approach me, visibly annoyed and said:
>T (teacher): I understand that this lesson is lesson is of great importance but have I really said anything worthy of a gasp, Mister P (me)?
all eyes were on me, I felt like shrinking out of the room, and, not knowing what to say, I said the truth.
>P: No miss... I uh... I just forgot to breathe.
and for the rest of my senior year, that was the joke of the class. | version: I got really nervous in class and forgot to breathe for so long I almost passed out |
t3_31r46c | relationships | 18 year old sister is pregnant | My sister told my husband and I last night that she is 12 weeks pregnant. She was on birth control with her boyfriend (of 6 months) but obviously that failed. I am so sad and disappointed. I don't want to be, I want to be happy for her and supportive but Im in such shock. She'll be 19 in June but she still seems so young to become a mom. Is the situation as bad as I'm perceiving or am I overreacting? The dad is in the air force and completely supportive for which I'm really glad.I just don't know how to mentally handle this... | sister pregnant I'm sad |
t3_51hr7j | Cooking | Wine vs. vinegar: Am I missing out on anything? | Practicing Mormon here. We don't drink alcohol in our house, but I'm contemplating buying some wine and/or sherry for cooking.
I've made do by using various vinegars (balsamic, pino grigio, champagne, red, white, etc) along with stock and the flavors have been pretty fantastic. I often make a roasted butterfly chicken with a jus using this method. The jus is currently simmering on the stove with pino grigio vinegar and chicken broth and I've made it successfully with balsamic, too.
I'm wondering: is the additional flavor profile from wine or other alcohols worth the purchase? I don't have a very distinctive palette (I used to taste new wines when I worked as a server and I couldn't tell an $20 bottle from a $50 bottle. It all tastes like...wine).
(Religious tangent, for those curious: the Word of Wisdom (the revelation from which Mormon dietary "no-no's originate) says "strong drinks are not for the belly" but I've felt comfortable cooking and using tinctures like extracts or cough syrup, so why not other alcohols in cooking? I'd argue that once it's cooked and incorporated into a recipe, it no longer qualifies as "strong drink." It's a widely interpreted revelation among Mormons anyway, so among Mormons you know IRL, YMMV).
I want to venture into more French recipes like Coq a Vin or Beef Burgundy. Should I just buy wine already? | Haven't used alcohol in cooking because of religious reasons. Am I missing out on important flavor profiles that can't be replicated? |
t3_3g7kj5 | relationships | Me [29m] I have started telling people no and the blow back has been terrible. What do I do without going back to being a pushover? | In the past 4 weeks I've been telling people no when I really don't want to do things. For example my wife asked me if I wanted to look to help her (read do it myself) look up hotel rooms instead of sitting on the front porch reading my book. I said no and she is not talking to me right now.
My boss came to me and asked if I wanted to work Sunday and I said no. She then made it mandatory that I come in.
One of my subordinates at work asked for another day of this week at short notice and I said no.
I guess that I'm easy to bully and I don't know how to say no tactfully. | My relationships are falling apart because I'm saying no . What do I do? |
t3_31sse0 | tifu | TIFU by forgetting I left my car a few miles from my house last night. | I went to go to work this morning, and my car was nowhere to be seen. I checked and double checked the front parking lot and the back parking lot, but nothing. I called my boyfriend, no answer. It was a half an hour til I needed to be at work. I called off in tears because "my car is missing." My boss sounded like he didn't believe a word of what I was saying.
After crying to myself and having a bit of hysteria, I retraced my steps again and realized I came home in my boyfriends car last night and my car is still parked in front of a realtor's office, because we met there and then drove together and just forgot to go back and get it last night. | Forgot my car last night, my boss either doesn't believe me or thinks I'm that much of a mess that I can lose a car. |
t3_2p5njp | relationships | I [22M] am going through a bad breakup and my friends [21/22 M/F] are still hanging out with the girl who dumped me. | My girlfriend [21F] of two years dumped me at the end of August and it's been the toughest 3 months of my life and I don't see it getting any better.
Before I met her, I had a group of a few friends, both male and female, and we've been inseparable since we all met each other. She started growing close to them as well about the time we started dating. A few months after we started dating she became another permanent member of the group.
When she dumped me everyone continued on like nothing had happened. Even though we had been together for 2 years, she started dating someone else only a few weeks after she dumped me and they weren't planning on telling me; I had to find out on my own. (I'm still afraid to ask if this had started while we were still "together" and if I know who the new guy is) She still hangs out with them and they still hang out with her, and it's making it **extremely** hard for me to try and move on, considering I still loved her until the end and I probably still have feelings for her. They say that they're trying to be friends to both of us, but it's doing nothing but keeping a thin line between me and my ex. I don't have another group of friends to help me out with this.
I feel resentment toward them and I can't help it. I've been depressed since April (for various reasons) and these things have only made it much much worse. | My friends hang became friends with my girlfriend and they still hang out with each other even after she dumped me. They say they're trying, but feel like they're hiding things from me. How am I supposed to handle this/move on for my own sake? |
t3_33e553 | tifu | TIFU by simultaneously turning off every computer in a computers class. | Never thought I would be posting a TIFU but I guess that time has come. I was in web development class, coding and stuff, when I noticed that my phone was running low on battery. Luckily I had planned for this moment by bringing my charger! This is where the fuck up begins.
I looked for a place to plug in my phone, and noticed one under my desk. It was one of those ones that has multiple outlets on it and has a wire that has to be plugged in somewhere else. It was really cramped with one open outlet and I have a really thick power brick, so when I attempted to plug it in, I happened to hit the little power switch on the side somehow.. Next thing I know EVERYBODY IS FREAKING OUT. Their computers all turned off and nobody knew why. PEOPLE WERE WORKING ON UNSAVED DOCUMENTS!!! The damn thing I plugged my phone into was being powered by the one next to it, and it was powering the one on the other side, and so on. Turning off mine cut all the power to every bit of electronic equipment in the room.
As soon as this happened, everyone tried to locate the source of the power cut. I was still under the desk fumbling around with the whole complicated thing and accidentally unplugging more things. Soon enough everyone knew and I'm pretty sure my teacher and the students all hate me now. | Tried to plug in my phone during a high school computers class; ended up unplugging everything else in the room. |
t3_kr8p6 | relationships | I need some advice. :/ | Ok, hello reddit. :)
(We are both in highschool.)
Me and a girl dated for about a year or so, we go to the same school and we have a lot of mutual friends, before the last summer we broke up, but we were able to stay somewhat best friends. We were best friends before we started dating and I still consider her one of my closest friends. During this school year, about one month in, I introduced her to one of my male best friends, and they hit it off VERY well, about a day later I got the news she started dating him. It simply hurts to be around them, it is like a stab to my heart every time they kiss, hold hands, etc.
About one week into their relationship I found out they had sex, (it was his first time, but not hers.) They have been dating the upwards of three weeks now. We still talk, and recently she confessed to me that she still has feelings for me, but doesn't think we would work out in a relationship.
I feel emotionally attached to this girl, and I want to remain best friends with them both, but it just hurts so much, any advice on how I can get over her? | I am in love with a girl and need advice on how to get over her. |
t3_9n5dv | self | Fuck Time Warner! But thanks for the discount. | I am a subscriber to Time Warner for their broadband service. I recently upgraded my 7 Mb/s service to their 12 Mb/s over their online customer service. This was supposed to increase my monthly bill from $47 to $57. I had ran some various speed checks before I upgraded and retested after the upgrade had occurred. There was absolutely no difference in the speed. I was a little annoyed by this, but figured I give it a try for a month.
Fast-forward to yesterday and I receive my monthly bill for over $85. Seems they added "unreturned equipment fee". I call customer-service immediately. The a rep answers and says, "Yeah, I don't know why there. Oh, I see. I guess one of guys came and gave you a new modem and you didn't return the old one." Looking over at my modem to see it's the original and nothing has changed, I respond, "If your guys came and got my old modem, I am going to have to call the police for breaking into my apartment." The rep says, that it's probably a mistake and he would take the charge off. He puts me on hold for about 10 minutes and then hangs up on me.
Irate and hungry, I made dinner. I called back after my delicious meal and explained the situation to the new rep. She explains to me that it is a mistake and that she have taken care of. Being upset, I interject that she better take care of the mistake because between the last guy hanging up on me after telling my apartment was broken in to and the internet speed not changing after upgrading or I'll have to disconnect my service with Time Warner. I also reminded her that I wanted some sort of notification of the charge being taken off the bill, as she was unable to do so right then.
Amy, the rep, promised to call me back the next night.
Oh, Amy! The love of my life, the fire of loins. She explained to me that she was sorry for happened and that I would be getting a new modem on Saturday and that my new monthly bill with the 12 Mb/s upgrade would be $40.
I don't know how I should feel about this. | Crazy internet bill. Customer rep said my apartment was broken into. Amy called back. Now have 12 Mb/s for $40 a month vs my old 7 Mb/s for $47 |
t3_1gmlma | personalfinance | Adding my Mom as an Authorized User? | Hey /r/personalfinance!
I'm a 19 year old guy who is just starting to build his credit history. I recently acquired a DiscoverIT card with a $1,500 limit after 6 months of putting up with a First Financial Bank card. I use my cards responsibly and pay the balance off in full each month, and my credit score is beginning to reflect that.
After a financially-messy divorce, my mom doesn't have very good credit. She now lives within her means and pays for everything in cash, owns her car, rents our apartment, uses her debit card for everything, etc. Because of this, she has a very low credit score. I had the idea of adding her as an authorized user on my Discover card and then cutting up the card, so that my on-time payments and favorable credit utilization rates would be reported to the credit agencies for her as well. My only concern is if it would affect my score in any way. Like I said, I would keep her card so I wouldn't have to worry about her spending anything, but besides that are there any unforeseen disadvantages to helping her out? | Will adding my mom as an authorized user (and then cutting up the card) have any adverse effects for me or my credit score? |
t3_2yha6z | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [24M] of 10 months. I become jealous every time we are drunk together. | I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. We communicate well about almost everything (even this topic).
But I am curious to hear some advice?
Every time we are out drinking, I end up somehow misunderstanding his behavior:
- I think he is staring at a girl for too long
- I think he is flirting with the waitress
- He is talking to a girl in private
and I get super jealous and mad. This always leads to a huge fight and then we eventually make up the next morning.
He would NEVER cheat on me and he is never jealous of anything I do. I don't know why I still get jealous and/or why I haven't learnt to communicate my emotions in a better way. This is my first serious relationship and I want to know if this is normal at the beginning or if I need to put more effort into fixing my behavior.
I know that the fighting is something we can work on together. But how do I prevent myself from getting worked up and jealous on the spot? | I misunderstand my faithful boyfriend's behavior when I am drunk and get super jealous. How do I prevent these feelings? |
t3_25m7sk | legaladvice | I sent money out of state to a guy for his Sasquatch Music Festival wristband, and he never sent it. [WA] | I HAVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. I made a huge mistake trying to buy a wristband for Sasquatch from a guy that responded to my Craigslist ad. He lives in Missouri and he offered me a good deal and told me that he can ship it with FedEx over night, and that I would have it by 10am the next day. Everything in his story was so believable. The biggest mistake that I made during this whole transaction was that I didn't use PayPal, the only reason being that it takes too long to get into his bank account. So we used an alternate method called money gram, where you go to customer service in a Walmart store and fill out a form and they send the money, then they give you a reference number so at the other end they can receive it. The plan was to make this transaction at the same time that he shipped the wristband. He told me that his girlfriend was waiting at FedEx until I sent the money. So, as I got in my car outside of Walmart, I sent the guy the reference number along with a picture of the receipt as proof that I actually sent money. After that, I never heard back from him, and hours later I started to realise that I have no proof whatsoever that this guy was sending me a package. I didn't get a package in the morning, called FedEx, called and texted the guy multiple times. I went back to Walmart the next day to see if there was any way I could cancel the payment. Since he had already picked up the money, there was nothing that they could do about it. So I pretty much just fucked myself over. Lost all of that money, plus I'm not going to be able to go to Sasquatch this year. I am such an idiot. Please don't make the same mistake that I did, you can never be too safe. | Sent money to a guy from out of town for a wristband, he took my money and never sent the wristband. Therfore, I am broke and missing Sasquatch. |
t3_43gtio | running | Has anyone here ever experienced tarsal tunnel syndrome? | Apologies in advance for the wall of text.
I'm hoping that someone here will be able to relate to what I'm going through. I was diagnosed with tarsal tunnel syndrome in November after wasting 7 months with a shitty podiatrist. I've since gone to see two others who concur that I have tarsal tunnel syndrome in my right ankle. I have high arches that almost completely flatten when I put weight on them, flexible flat feet, and I overpronate, which is most likely the largest contributing cause of the tarsal tunnel syndrome.
I've tried RICE, I'm currently on the physical therapy step (week 4 of 6), which will most likely be followed by custom orthotics, and then possibly surgical release. I would really like to avoid surgical release, but the physical therapy is not helping at all. Both doctors and everything else I read list physical therapy as a conservative treatment that should be exhausted before contemplating surgery, but none of those sources, none of the doctors, and none of the physical therapists known what sort of physical therapy techniques should be used for tarsal tunnel syndrome.
Yet I still need to go (and pay for it) for 4-6 months. I have PTTD in my left ankle, so I go anyway for that, but my right ankle and heel are on fire. I would rather they focus on the TTS so I'm not completely hobbled by the end of the day, but they really don't know what to do, and there is no good evidence to support the use of physical therapy.
It's a rare condition, but it's supposedly more common in active people, so I'm hoping someone here will be able to share their experience. I miss running and hiking and really wish I could get back to it.
I know I shouldn't be asking for medical advice on here, so instead I'm just asking if anyone has had it and what worked to help them get over it. | Got my tunnel tarsalled. PT doesn't work. What worked for you? |
t3_1ljhf7 | AskReddit | Is moving out on your own worth being a little broke? I'm trying to rediscover myself this year | I just recently graduated from college (21 years old) and after a really bad breakup from the love of my life at the beginning of the summer, I am trying to start fresh and rediscover who I am and get a fresh start. I found an apartment I love and it's pricey but it's also in the middle of the city and my dream apartment. I can work my butt off and afford this, although it's also perhaps a bit irresponsible because I will not be putting much aside for savings for the future. I have never done anything truely for myself like this. My parents don't approve because I am so young and they think I am stretching myself. However, I want to dedicate this year to my job waitressing, meeting people, and finding me.. even if it does mean being a little broke. I'm wondering, does this sound rediculous? I'm losing sleep over if I'm making a huge mistake and taking on this huge responsibility! | Is it worth it to move out but be broke? Parents think it's a bad idea but I think it will help me rediscover myself after a breakup |
t3_3fwm7h | personalfinance | Target really fucked me over and now I am not paying my bill until they give me the receipt I need to not be fucked over. | Long story short, I bought a 60" TV locally from target over a year ago. The salesmen convinced me to get a target red card AND the insurance. I have worked retail and am aware how much of a scam extra warranties are, but I stand by my decision. I paid off the balance immediately.
4 months after I bought the TV, it started to get a huge black spot roughly 10" by 10". I call up the target warranty place and they inform me that I NEED my warranty information in order to use the warranty. The information is on the receipt, something I threw away immediately because the sales associate told me that my warranty information will be on the target card I JUST got. After 20 phone calls and trips to target, they pretty much tell they can't help me. Target only keeps receipts for 90 days. This is absolutely unbelievable to me. That was unacceptable in the year 2000, and this happened in 2014.
I used the red card one other time for ~250-300$ worth of home necessities. When I got my bill, I realized that I physically can't make myself pay them because of how shitty they treated me, so I just didn't pay it. That was over a year ago.
So here we are, ~18 months since I purchased the TV. They have called me every day for the last year trying to collect the debt, and about once a week I answer the call and explain my whole situation. They always put me on hold for 5-15 minutes trying to help, then come back saying its just the way it is, please pay us. I always refuse and say that if you get me my receipt, I will pay up AND give you 200$ tip. I say this to make them realize that me not paying has nothing to do with a lack of funds, and more because of spite.
I realize this has already fucked up my credit and I really don't care. The only thing that matters to me at this point is that target gives me my receipt. I will get it if its the last thing I do.
So my question is this: Other than going to court, how do I not get fucked over at the end of this fiasco? | Target fucked me over and now I am stupidly not paying my target bill as a way to force target to give me my receipt. |
t3_w0yp2 | AskReddit | What fun talents have you picked up from various jobs and careers? | I'll start: I work on a golf course where I essentially am just the caretaker for the carts and course.
Talent 1. I am a very skilled golf cart driver. Sometimes you get yourself in a situation when putting carts away where you either have to move five carts individually, or pull off one badass skid turn to fit a cart into the row. (Note: It's probably not anywhere near as badass outside of my head)
Talent 2. I am an incredible trash bag thrower. I take trash bags and hurl them into the dumpster's narrow opening (It's a small private dumpster) from far distances and I never miss. | I'm way better at driving golf carts and hurling trash bags than most people. |
t3_1xl3wc | relationships | Me [16 M] needs help overcoming social anxiety | I have had social anxiety and depression for a long time. I can make friends fine, and can go about my every day life alright, but when it comes to talking to women I can not function. I can make friends with girls fine, but as soon as the thought of asking them for their number, or something of that sort, I get really nervous. Due to certain unforgiving circumstances in my life, I fear rejection. Even though I understand that there will be no negative effects of me asking a girl to dance at a party, I still shake and get nervous. It has been driving me crazy for the longest time.
I have been lonely recently. I am not ugly or anything, its just this anxiety has gotten in my way of getting myself a girlfriend. My friends say "Go introduce yourself to girls, that will help", but it is embarrassing if there is no other reason than that to do it. I would like to take baby steps if possible. I am sorry for the trouble :/ | Suggestions on overcoming social anxiety with baby steps. Help me please. |
t3_kx1ll | relationships | Being an idiot or just insecure? | Hi Redditors, some-time lurker, first-time poster. Sorry for the mistakes.
Relationship info - me, female (22), him, male, (25). Dating ~9 months. Both university students, myself MA, him phd.
Basically, I'm worried. I suffer from depression and am on meds and just about trying to cope with it. But this guy is pretty much fantastic. Always desperate to help, wonderful person, wants to help me. Occasionally suggests he would like to stay with me for the long-haul, possibly get married (both atheists, have had sex various times, fun on both sides had). So yay?
Unfortunately, I myself, possibly from suffering from depression, possibly from previous relationships (two, both complicated and depressing, which current BF knows about) feel insecure. At my worst, I want to split up with him for his own good, hopefully find him someone more worthy. Unfortunately, like the idiot I am, I have mentioned this to him, and like a dear, he always mentions how he is happy with me, how he sees being with me a long time, etc. I want to believe him, but I'm not sure I can. I've spent so long hardly daring to believe what anyone else says, especially when it might make me happy. So, reddit, I come to you for advice. How can I be less of a complete idiot with someone I love dearly, and who I dare to believe, loves me back? | Love boy, but being an idiot. Not sure how to make better? |
t3_1u79h0 | relationships | I [18M] have never been significantly attached in a relationship, and I don't know whether or not to break up with my girlfriend [16F]. | As the title states, I'm having a lot of trouble developing intimacy in relationships. I've never really "fallen" for anyone before. Despite this fact, I've had a few long-term relationships (the longest being 9 months), but I was never fulfilled in any of them. After the initial spark of interest, seeing my SO became a chore for me. I'm not trying to say that I'm some emotionless shell of man, but I have never been able to fully reciprocate feelings in a relationship.
Okay, okay, I know I'm probably being melodramatic about this. I'm a kid--I'm only a senior in High School. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. What am I supposed to do? Am I broken or something? I'm in a relationship now with a great girl. I'm totally attracted to her and she has a fantastic personality, but I always get bored if we hang out more than once or twice a week. I'd much rather do homework, play videogames: anything. I try to accommodate to her wishes and see her at about an average of three times a week, but it's clear to both of us that it's a strain for me. Lately I've been making up pretty bullshit excuses to get out of seeing her, and I feel pretty bad about the whole situation.
I guess I mostly just wrote this post for a sense of perspective from other posters on this board. All my guy friends who are in relationships seem to really love (or love as much as a high schooler can, I guess) their girlfriends, and for the life of me I just can't relate. Is this a typical thing for teenage guys to go through? Am I not seeing the right girls? And what the hell am I supposed to tell my girlfriend? I kind of just want to break up with her, but I can't tell if that would be an immature, premature move on my part. I tried going to my friends about it, but they just laughed it off. Any advice? | high school kid has never really liked a girl, doesn't know whether to break up with gf and wait for "the one" or address the issue now |
t3_1p6i1a | relationship_advice | I'm a 21/f looking for ways to better my relationship with a 23/f | I had recently broken up with my girlfriend. We've had our issues and things haven't been so great. For the past 5 months we've been fighting about everything. Nothing I do is right, nothing she did was fine. After some time, I noticed our sex wasn't as pleasurable and exciting as it use to be. I come home one night and find out she's looking at other naked girls and it bothered me because I'm a really sexual person. These girls looked nothing like me and it hurt. If she wanted to have sex, I would have gladly taken care of her needs. I crave sex a lot. So why was I getting the short end of the stick and I would get meaningless sex because she was satisfied? It wasn't fair. Later she was really distant. Everything I said caused a fight, shes use to be really nice and she made sure that if I was upset, she would make me feel better. Now she would scream at me, and I would end up in tears and she would still keep saying mean things to me. So I decided to end it. I couldn't take the unsatisfying sex, I couldn't take the lies about her and her porn, I couldn't take the screaming and the feeling that she didn't care for me. We took a 2 week break, and 2 days ago we got back together. I want to know some things that can help a damaged relationship and make it better. | My girlfriend of 5 years seems uninterested in me. Resorts to porn for needs. Fights are more frequent, lots of hurtful things are said. Broke up for a couple weeks, now back together, looking for ways to better our relationship. |
t3_367c88 | tifu | [NSFW] TIFU by smearing a white substance on my forehead | [PROLOGUE]. So im a junior in high school and our class had a little fair on tuesday with like random countries in it. I had a little sheet to do for it (had to write down questions for each country and answers) so I was attracted to the Mexico stand and walked over there while my friends and my teacher followed. So I look and see they have a face painting thing over there so my teacher says hey, you wont have to do the worksheet if you get your face painted so me and my friends went and got our faces painted.
["JUICY" PART] I got back home and wanted to get this paint off my face so I went to my bathroom (which has 3 guys in all using it me my brother 20 and my uncle 22) and grabbed toilet paper wadded it up and got a little water on it and started to wipe away, then I noticed I had my contacts in so I took them out after placing that toilet paper down. I look and I can't find the toilet paper I just set down a second ago, but then I see it on top of the toilet (the back part not the seat) and I grab it and start wiping but I realise it doesn't feel right, I smell the toilet paper, it's jizz full out fresh like 2 minutes ago jizz. I ran to the shower, turned it on with all my clothes on and said thats too damn cold and went to the sink and scrubbed my forehead till it was red. | I wont be cumming to the next country fair. |
t3_25x2lc | relationships | I (22M) know for a literal fact that my girlfriend (21F) is not being 100% honest when it comes to infidelity. | We have been having a rougher time of things as of late. Our sex life has been average, that is to say nothing not normal for us. Good. Dating for 2 1/2 years next week. And so I get into my story.
So she has this new job. I was super excited about it for her. Good pay, good company, she likes the hours. Win for all. However they have workplace comraderie nights. About a month ago she has one. Meets up with some workers for drinks, at one of the male employees' houses (we'll call him Ted and my girlfriend Jen). They apparently played monopoly for hours and drank. I personally don't find drinking with a bunch of people I've known three days fun but she wanted to go so I didn't really think too much.
The other day I ended up looking through her phone. Its against everything I stand for and it makes me sick. I regret it. But I did. And I found out that night she almost fucked one of the guys. Not sure if it was Ted or his friend Adam, it wasn't specified. And I also found a text conversation between Ted and my girlfriend that was about a Marvel vs Capcom "bet" that was extremely flirty, where in said text she basically asks him what it is he "wants" and says she can give him things that would "excite" him. I almost went through the fucking roof. Her biggest things are lying by omission and infidelity, and though my methods were shit, I now know for a fact that she's been doing plenty of either. I clarify as well, we've classified even flirting with members of the opposite sex as being untrue, not just physical activity. Which truthfully I also know by her own admission shed done previously.
I don't know what to do guys. I feel so fucking sick I could die. Part of me wants to see this nightmare out, and the other half wants me to wake her out of her sleep and tell her I'm moving the fuck out. Any advice? | My girlfriend cheats and almost hooks up with her coworker(s?) And I really have no idea what to do. |
t3_1mgmi0 | offmychest | You never finished high school. YOU won't apply to a different job where you're at least getting more than 25 hours at a minimum wage job. Stop making me feel bad for having a better job than you. | You didn't finish high school. My dad works 30ish hours a week delivering auto parts. You work at a dollar store 25 hours a week when you're not calling out. You make no effort to get second jobs, or finding jobs with better hours.
I'm 23, and have been working the same job since I was 16. I started at $7.50 and have worked my way up to $11 an hour. I worked my ass off to get insurance at 18 when I was kicked off of their state insurance. I have a 401k, benefits, ESOP, 2 weeks vacation a year, etc. But I WORKED for it. I rarely call out, and if I do, I switch shifts with someone else so I keep my hours.
It never fails that when I go to your house, some comment is made about me having a better job. Like just now, I had just agreed to pick up my 6th day for this week working overnight. This would put my hours at 50 for the week. When my boss messaged me saying I wasn't needed, I said "oh well, I'm already scheduled overtime this week anyway." The comment "Must be nice, that's better than what we're getting. I wish my job would schedule me overtime."
YOU MAKE NO EFFORT TO GET A BETTER JOB. You complain about your double shifts (9-4). Work 18 hours from 2pm to 8am then talk to me. Don't try and make me feel bad for your laziness. Just stop it. | My dad and his wife always make comments about me having a better job then them. It's amazing what hard work can get you. |
t3_14lor7 | relationship_advice | [30/f] My husband (28/m) and I want to stop living for the weekend! What do married couples - without kids - do during the weekdays? | A little background... my husband and I are best friends. We pretty much hang out together all the time. We don't have kids, we do have dogs. We prefer not to drink too much during the week and I'd also prefer to not spend a ton of money either.
Our weekday routine tends to be - eat dinner, have sexy time, take care of dogs and go to bed. We're usually in bed so early (like 8pm!) - we both do get up early, but not early enough to warrant going to bed that early.
I'd really like us to stop living for the weekend! The week is 71% of our lives... so I want to know - what do you do during the week? Do you have a calendar of things to do? | looking for weeknight married people activities |
t3_1egzdx | relationship_advice | [21/F] My boyfriend [25/M] has no motivation to do anything, and it's affecting us. | I am a 21 year old female and my boyfriend is 25. We don't live together but we see each other a few days a week. He's never motivated to get any work done but what really bothers me is he just **never** wants to have sex with me, or kiss me... The last time we had sex must have been over 2 months ago now - and when we do have sex it lasts only a few minutes.
I have tried everything, including being honest with him to which he tells me that he'll never change. I know that he's faithful - he does kiss me but only quick pecks on the lips (mouth closed) - I feel a bit silly for getting so upset, but I'm at the end of my patience now and if things don't pick up, or he gives me a good enough excuse I'm going to keep blaming myself... I've heard every excuse from "I'm too tired" "I don't like the effort before and after" "I don't feel like it (ever)" etc.
When we have sex it's him saying "ok let's just do it" to which I (desperate for it) just jump straight on... no foreplay, nothing.
I'll answer any questions any one has, this is a different account to my actual account - my boyfriend browses Reddit every day at work. | boyfriend won't have sex with me or kiss me, despite me trying very **very** hard and being understanding! |
t3_208kg1 | personalfinance | Using a personal line of credit to complement your emergency fund | The top posts in PF all seem to advocate stocking up huge amounts of cash in chequing/savings accounts instead of paying down debt, which **costs you around $250-$500/year** ($5k @ 5-10%).
Instead of paying so much for nothing, I only keep 1 month of expenses in my chequing and have a $10k+ line of credit (LOC) for emergency purposes, which I can access at any time. I can pay down my debts, reduce interest payments, and still have this gigantic emergency buffer for *free*.
It only took me 2-3 days to set up at my bank, and while my rate is at 4%, I've had friends approved for unsecured LOCs at around 7-8%.
Here's some simplified math, to calculate the cost of a 3 month emergency (with some assumptions):
Expenses - $1k/month
Total withdrawal - $3k
Time to pay back - 1 year
Interest paid on 8% of withdrawals - **$240**.
Conclusion: It costs more to stockpile cash, than it does to pay the interest on a LOC when an emergency does hit. Unless you're having more than 3-month emergencies every year. | Get a line of credit and keep the cash portion of emergency fund under 2 months. |
t3_1pv2z6 | relationships | Me [21 M] started dating a [20F] who wants to take it "slow" but have not seen any improvement it's been a month. | Okay I will try my best to explain the situation.
recently got in touch with an old classmate of mine back in
september but we started dating in end of september early Oct.
well are first date was at amusement park and we had a great time
what not. during the date I tried to hold her hand and make some
moves nothing to intrusive but enough to show that I was interest
she pulls away from my attempts but holds onto my arm I was like
whatever this is just as fine. during the date we sit down and she
tells me why she isn't so affectionate and that I shouldn't feel bad
that didn't she didn't let me hold her hand because she just got of a
relationship and we should take it "slow" I was okay with this and no
big deal we are having fun and she is enjoying her time with me.
So we go on another date and it's the same thing we had fun
nothing to pushy. now lets fast forward to date 6 or 7 we go out too
it already 29 of Oct and still with take it slow and no affection not
even a good bye kiss. we go out often I show her that I am a nice
guy with good intentions and she is still hesitant to hold my hand
and still say we should take it slow. the reason I haven't called her
out on it because i fell she is being honest but I might just be jaded
and being lead on.
Should I just ask her what she wants from this "relationship" or wait
for a good outcome. | dating a girl for a month still no improvent from her affectionate problem what should I do. |
t3_50wu86 | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend [18F] of 3 years is experiencing emotional disconnection, and it feels like there's nothing I can do. | My girlfriend and I started dating in high school. Now, I'm in my first year of university, while she's still in her senior year of high school. For me, things were never better. I loved her more than ever, and found that I was much more appreciative of what I had with her. I fully intend to go the distance with her.
However, earlier this week she admitted that she feels disconnected. She told me that she feels unloved and that the spark is no longer there. She did admit that it is largely due to our schedules not lining up to spend time together like we used to.
I, on the other hand, thought things were great. I personally think that it's a matter of perspective. Being the one in uni, I am able to rationalize that our schedules won't line up well all the time, and that's okay. We're at a stage in our relationship where we can be mature and independent. This independence is new to her, and it's proving to be a shock. I think that once she reaches university, she'll realize that it was all in her head.
The only issue is that I'm deathly afraid that she won't make it to next year with me. I'm terrified that she'll get fed up and think it's time to move on.
For context:
* We live in the same town
* I go to uni 20 minutes from said town
* She will attend the same uni as me in a year
* She struggles with depression and anxiety (as do I, but to a lesser degree), and has an appointment with a doctor next week to talk about it. | Girlfriend isn't sure if the relationship will work with me in uni and her in high school, I don't want to lose her |
t3_1i3sts | relationship_advice | I (18m) have never done this kind of thing before and I'm really into a girl (17f) | I just finished my senior year of high school and have been (and still am) planning on going to college across the country. Over the last semester I kinda knew this one girl (she just finished her junior year) but we didn't talk much until the last week of school (end of May) and things just seemed to click between myself and her.
I was definitely distraught when school ended because we weren't quite on terms where we would even hang out. She and I have talked once (only over Facebook) this summer (over a month ago, she's been busy).
One of my best friends happens to be one of her best friends and he's setting up a thing where we do some stuff over skype next monday. I would like to ask the day after this if she wants to meet for lunch. Unfortunately I have no choice but to ask her over facebook or skype.
My big problem is that the last weekend of July through Aug 11 or 12 I'm going on vacation and won't even have phone service a lot of the way, plus 10 days or so after I get back I move into college.
I am still left with a number of questions. How do I make it known to her that I want to meet for a date and not just as friends? Have I waited too long and should just stop with her and move on? | Got really into a girl right when high school ended, haven't talked with her much over summer, wanna ask her on a date after doing something a mutual friend is setting up but have a huge time crunch and don't know what to do |
t3_2z8mit | relationships | Wife [29F] super sad and upset over my [32M] porn | So kind of embarassing but would like some other perspectives on this. Wife found a video id inadvertently saved. The content was basically two guys having their way with a girl, quite hardcore. She is pretty upset, moreso I think over the fact that the girl was basically 'a slab of meat' (her words), rather than the fact of the porn. Has said that it has lowered her opinion of me a great deal, and doesn't know if she can think of me in the same way now.
In my defence, it was a porn video from a reputable (ha) company, and while the content was strong it wasn't anything illegal. I have apologised profusely and tried to explain, but she's still really sad.
I don't want this to be something she never gets over, but at the same time whilst obviously Ive apologised and can see why she's upset, I'm not sure if she's overreacting a little also?
Any advice would be great. | wife found porn, content was disgusting to her, now super sad and thinks a lot less of me |
t3_24psbi | relationships | I [18 M] need help getting over feelings for my [18 F] friend of a year. | So I met this girl through mutual friends when college started (we're both Freshmen) and we clicked immediately. I got her FB and her number and we just started having a conversation, which at some points was kind of deep in the sense that we got to know each other really quick.
Anyways, fast forward a quarter (10 weeks) and I have feelings for this girl, but she had stated she was only interested in serious relationships and would date only certain ethnicity, which I was distraught and confused by but whatever, that can't be changed or helped, so I accepted the fact that we'd just be friends as we did get along really well.
She always makes it a point to not bring up other guys she's interested in or dating (she said she goes on 3 or 4 dates with different guys every month), but when she does mention it I get jealous and I know that's not necessarily the best thing as she's stated multiple times I'm not her preference.
It really kills me because last night we went to a party (it was her first time) and I was her DD. When driving her home last night, she mentioned she ran into a former friend of hers that she said she was extremely close to. According to her, he confessed that he was interested in her and she said that made her lose interest in their friendship all together and she completely ignored him afterward. I really don't want that to happen, but these feelings are really annoying me now.
She also makes it a point to say I'm her 'favorite' and that I'm so sweet, and how I view/judge her means a lot to her and that just hurts even more because I don't know why she makes it a point to say that, it just evokes feelings that really aren't pleasant.
What really affects me is that jealousy/loneliness/longing feeling to be with her. I know we'd make a good couple but I KNOW that bringing up the fact that I feel this way will cause a bigger problem/ I might lose a friendship. What do I do? | Have feelings for a friend which are going un- reciprocated, have no idea how to shake them or even view the situation. |
t3_15zupo | AskReddit | Reddit, can you either screw-up or benefit your child by "correcting" them toward right-handed dominance? | Aside from the philosophical argument that you shouldn't correct a child from being left-handed because there's nothing wrong with it, can you screw up your child?
My daughter is just over 1 and while I never gave a 2nd thought to what appears to be left-hand dominance, I caught my parents "correcting" her, by moving objects from one hand to the other or only handing her things to her right hand.
I admit that being right handed is an easier path, just because of how our writing system is set up and the default setup for everything is geared towards righties. But I hear anecdotal claims that it screws up your left/right brain communication, can make it harder to talk, can give you poor dexterity and penmanship, etc. -- However, never any evidence to support the claims. | Daughter seems to be growing up left-handed. Grandparents are trying to force her to be a righty. Bad? |
t3_18ue5c | relationships | I [23M] was kicked out of our apartment by [22F] do I owe her to help her out of the lease. | My ex kicked me out of the house after having dated for 3 years. We only lived together for about 6 months. She came home one day and unloaded what seemed to be 3 years worth of issues she has with me. Anyway, she said she didn't want to be together anymore. I was just living with her and not actually on the lease, so I ended up packing up all of my stuff and drove half way across the country to live with my parents again and look for a new job. Before, I left however she made it seem like she wanted to work things out, and said I should still help pay for half the rent until we figured things out. After, 2 months it was clear she didn't want to work things out and was enjoying her new apartment all to herself. I had enough of paying for a place I wasn't living in, and I felt like I had been suckered so I stopped paying. After that, I started to recieve phone calls on how that we both agreed to pay for the apartment together, and how I initially told her I would help pay for things. She wanted me to help break the lease. At first, I felt bad, but then I was like "Fuck it. I don't owe her anything. You dont want me you dont want my money." Its been about 6 months and I feel guilty for leaving her high and dry. Even though she didnt offer to pay for my gas home or my new deposit on an apartment that I had to scramble to get. I feel like it would be different If I wanted out, then I would feel more responisble, but she didnt want me....What do you guys think? Should I pay her? | Got kicked out and ex wants me to help break the lease. |
t3_4z39ic | relationships | [m/19] gf [f/21] is cutting herself how can I help and how can I cope with it | My gf went thought some really bad stuff in her life and I do feel sorry for her she used to self harm and she Tryed to take her own life
I've know her 3 nearly 4 years we've been together nearly 7 months I love her her but I just found out she's started cutting again and she's getting tired of living that hurts a lot
We talk about it and it makes her feel guilty coz it makes me worry about her I'm not trying to guilt trip her or anything
I've never been with anyone like this and I don't know what to do it's getting a little much I don't want to brake up with her but I don't know how to cope it's worrying me I have it in the back of my mind she could be cutting right now
I haven't told her how bad it makes me feel coz it would just make her guilty I think she's guest it though | How to cope with gf cutting herself |
t3_3hzxvm | personalfinance | Is it necessary to give my social security number in order to be a beneficiary? | I just got a text from my cousin saying that her financial advisor recommended she name a beneficiary who will outlive her. Since I'm about 7 years younger she said she wants it to be me. I have no problem with this, but her text said she wants to call and get my social security number to get it all squared away. I'm very close with my cousin and I know she would never try to scam me, but I'm worried because there is a "financial advisor" in the picture. Is it normal for a financial advisor to need my social security number in this scenario? I don't have any more details at this point because I haven't spoken to her over the phone yet, but I wanted to ask this question here before going into it. | Does this situation have scam written all over it? |
t3_fzdot | relationships | How do I "break up" with my best friend? | Me: 20f
Friend: 20f
We've known each other for about 7 years.
So I feel that my friend and I need to go our separate ways. I've known her since 8th grade. We've been best friends all throughout high school and most of college. Ever since she's started college, she's really changed and I have as well. She started smoking, occasionally doing drugs, going out partying, etc. She's SOOOOOO concerned with keeping people around her at all times. I think she has self-esteem issues personally. And she's also EXTREMELY self-centered. Any conversation, it's mainly about her. I barely get a word in about anything concerning my life.
I'm like the complete opposite. I never go out and party, smoke, do drugs, etc. I don't have time. I've tried talking to her about this, but I knew nothing was going to change. I've pretty much stopped talking to her. I don't answer her texts, Facebook comments, messages, etc. I want to tell her face-to-face that I think we're going in different directions, but I don't really know how to break it to her. She's the type that will flip out and cry. I don't feeling like dealing with that shit.
Sometimes I feel like I'm being a bitch, but I don't know what else to do. Please feel free to ask questions. Also, not sure if I should put this is /r/BreakUps. I might cross post. | Best friend and I are becoming two different people and going in two separate directions. How do I tell her I don't want to be friends with her anymore? |
t3_17djdo | relationship_advice | BF (20m)of 1 yr never wants to do anything (with me; 19f), belittles what I do, continually forgets to invite me along when he DOES do anything, spends days smoking weed, redditing. Time for a change? | All was well when we started going out, when we both had just started university. He's incredibly funny and intelligent, and I always knew he was an introvert, as am I. However, he never wants to GO anywhere, even by himself, he spends all day inside, at home on the internet, reading, or eating. Oh, and smoking a LOT of weed. Whenever I suggest we go and do something like see a film he sort of scoffs and says we can download it/we can stay at home and do [insert activity]. The TV programmes we watch are his TV programmes. When I go out with my friends I end up defending myself and what we'd got up to, because he'll be uber judgemental and call/imply that my friends' activities are immature, 'common', silly or stupid. It's esp. weird as I go to SciFi club at my uni, he reads a lot of scifi, but me going to the club is apparently naff?
When he DOES go out, to see his friends etc, he very rarely invites me; it took until very recently (read: a whole year)for me to properly meet his closest friends, as I've only visited his hometown/village briefly in more than a year, despite him going back regularly to dogsit (he 'forgets' to invite me every time.. I find out afterwards).
The problem is, he occasionally goes all out with romantic gestures on holidays, like buying flowers etc, which is lovely and well appreciated, but every time he does so, I tense in anticipation of him resting on those laurels for a while afterwards, and will then ignore/forget about me again. He's also my closest friend at uni, we have really great conversations, and generally communicate well. He's also very attentive in bed. Overall I sort of feel in the background of his life.
What can I do to reinvigorate him?! | Boyfriend does not include me in his life and belittles mine. |
t3_2h9u19 | personalfinance | Question about owing additional taxes/I'm an idiot | Hello all,
Story:
I played around with some stocks a few years back buying and selling like I knew what I was doing.
Flash forward to November 2013.
I received a letter from the IRS saying that I owed on the profits from my little venture into trading.
The year before I had gotten a similar letter. TD Ameritrade, the site I use to trade, sent the records of my sells (appropriately). I didnt do it myself because I'm a silly child. So when I got the letter I did a bit of research and realized I just needed to send the records of my buys (which were roughly the same amount, and that would take care of it.
So when I got the new letter in 2013, I thought: "stupid IRS, they're sending me a letter for the same thing" and ignored it at first. Then when I got another letter, I sent my previous letter and the info attached to that to them.
They sent another letter asking for the money. I just assumed the bureaucracy was slow catching up to the truth, but that letter was for the following year and (confusingly) the same amount. I went back to my records and verified, I did sell the exact same amount.(but my buys were roughly the same as well)
At this point its been months and months. From what I've gathered, once it reaches this point, the IRS hands it off to one of other departments (minilove I assume).
Does anyone know how I should go about handling a correction? Its a significant amount of money for me, and I know they're going to withhold it from my next tax refund.
I know, I'm grossly irresponsible. I currently work 60 + hours a week, and find it hard to do grown up things, rather than hang out with my family in my free time. I'll change, I promise. | Basically. I bought 100$ worth of stock A in 2010, sold it later in the year for 100$ - that generated the first letter from the IRS which I took care of by reporting the initial Buys. |
t3_2qbqn5 | tifu | TIFU by implying that I'm an ungrateful jerk | Happened yesterday, but whatevs. Moving on...
My company distributed our year end bonuses on Friday with our regular payroll plus any unused vacation time (I set aside the full allowed amount of 40 hrs with the intention of using it for Christmas gifts). My paycheck was astronomically larger than it usually is. The taxes taken out of the gross sum was just about equal to my rather generous bonus.
Saturday I went shopping. Shopping, shopping, shopping. My feet and the money card cried for mercy before the end of it all. But, mission accomplished. The children are going to have a very merry Christmas.
On to the fuck up! On Tuesday, I ran in to the owner/CEO of the company. We engaged in some idle chit chat and he asked about my children and their excitement for the impending holiday. I said, "Well I hope they get to enjoy my year end bonus longer than I did."
What the fuck, brain??? The worst part is that once I processed how unbelievably stupid that was, I did not have an opportunity to explain or express my gratitude for the unexpected amount of my bonus. I am actually very happy with the amount received, and more than happy to give it back to my kids and family. I plan to attempt to repair any damage done the next time I see the big boss. Hopefully I'm over-thinking it. | Boss gives, my people benefit, I make it sound like it's not enough. |
t3_w1i1k | Parenting | Am I spoiling my infant with attention?! Need Advice! | My wife and I have a 5 (almost 6) month old baby girl (our first). And we've been through 2 daycares already that have sent us away after just a few weeks of watching her. They both have said "We can't watch her because you've spoiled her with too much attention and now she cries too much when we aren't holding her". According to them, this isn't fair to the other children since she demands too much attention from the daycare worker. Both times, their advice was to NOT pick her up when she cries. Basically telling us to ignore our child more during the few hours we have after work to see her. And to let her cry herself to sleep, rather than hold her.
I read online about "10 minute rules" and other things people do where they allow their child to cry for a certain amount of time before paying them any attention.
I don't know what to do but I can't keep sending my daughter to new daycares and having them kick her out because she cries. I also don't want to traumatize the child or for her to get a flat head from laying on her back all the time or to ignore her all day.
It's also worth mentioning that although my wife would love to stay at home to watch our daughter, if she quits her job we can't afford our place. We both have to work. | Daycares keep sending us away because baby cries too much for attention. What do we do? |
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