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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] fell in love with my room-mate [20 F] and it's ruining my life
POST: Hi, r/relationships.
I'm not really sure if this is the subreddit to post, but I'm sort of desperate.
I'm studying physics at an University and living on campus. We are 4 people living in the same house: A [20M], B[20F], C[19F] and me.
I've been living with A for a year now. Things are going great. We are best friends and our relationship is going great. Things started to change when B and C moved in. I fell in love with B. This is pretty rare to me. I only liked like.. 5 girls in my whole life.
A bit of background: I'm considering myself a scientist. I try not to have feelings about things, but think logical and objectively about them. I do this with people, too. And most of the time is working.
What happened here is quite simple, actually: I liked her and she didn't. I understood her opinion (although I didn't agree) and decided to never bring it up again. All good so far. The thing is, although my mind decided it's not going to happen, my.. "heart" (I know it's cheesy, I don't have a better word for it) wouldn't let go. This spiraled and I got depressed, angry, mad, you name it. I started hurting A and C (not physically) and although A gets it and stands by my side, C is avoiding me. I'm really annoyed by the fact that I'm annoyed (if that makes any sense).
TL;DR: | So my question is, generalizing: how to make the feelings go away? Not about someone, but all of them, in general. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Alright Redditors, what is the stupidest thing you have done so far and faced repercussions or have been saved by the skin of your teeth (as in my case)
POST: Well so here it goes, I was told by a friend(never going to trust his word again!!!) about this place in Brunei (I am here on a short official visit) called [Bukit ShahBandar] I was told its a great place to exercise and I had been slacking for almost 2 weeks so I thought I will make the most of it and headed to the place (been staying in Empire hotel which is about 1.5 KM from the stated place). All I took with me was my music player headphones and a hand towel. so had the necessities or so I thought as I didn't want to carry extra burden. left for the place at around 4.40. After reaching there I found out that, that place is mostly for trekking. I got super excited as I am planning a trek to KK soon. anyways getting back to the story. I started climbing only to find people returning back. I plowed through thinking I would return back in a while even with my instinct screaming otherwise (since i had been slacking, i thought i wont give in to my procrastinating tendencies) and reached a spot with sign boards that sort of made me believe that it was a big huge circle of treks and you can either move forward to end it or go back. that's when I made a humongous mistake and plowed through again for about 30 odd minutes only to find myself completely lost and alone (tried back tracking my steps but couldnt find a way through, plus i almost had me convinced that it was indeed a circular path and i would reach the end sooner or later) . I started shouting for help when I could as it was getting dark. I was lost for almost 2 hours and literally panicky as it was almost dark and I didn't have a phone to call anyone. no one knew I was in bukit shahbandar - so no one was coming looking for me. I was contemplating staying the night or rolling down through trees to find a way out all the while shouting for help. luckily that's when I came across two extremely late hikers who helped me get back to civilization. Apparently I didn't learn a thing from 127 hours!
TL;DR: | got lost while trekking and didn't have a phone or water or a flashlight and it was getting dark. was saved by 2 late hikers after hours of shouting for help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/m] met [24/f] 8 months ago and has now crush on
POST: Hello fellow redditors. I pretty much signed up just for this to get some advice from you
I met a girl on OKCupid in December and she is really great. Has some crazy quirks, which i really like, but overall she is awesome. So we had a date some weeks later and she kissed me on the cheek when we said goodbye. We keeped contact and started writing over Facebook and Skype and things really seem to work out. Then we set up a date for a second date - just before that date I realized i have a really hard crush on her... Just last week we went to a town 1hour away from us to go clubbing and sleepover there. We danced together and slept in one bed, while not being a couple or what so ever. And here again, i brought her directly home and we kissed eachother on the cheek.
I realized i have very strong feelings towards her and want to be with her, protect her and make her happy - but I just don't know if she wants or what she thinks about me. I am very unexperienced in this subject, she is basically my first real crush, and I never had a girlfriend before... Any advices from you guys? It feels good to know her, and then again, I feel bad because I have a crush on her...
TL;DR: | OP met girl online. Dated her, realized he has crush on her, were away over night and now has strong feelings and don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[20F] with my boyfriend[21M] 1 month, feeling uncertain about the physical side of relationships
POST: So I used to think that relationships were just two people who liked each other very much, and would just cuddle/kiss and that was it. This is my first relationship so I'm a bit of an idiot when it comes to this...
I've recently realised that there is an unavoidable physical side of relationships. I'm extremely uncomfortable with sex and the idea of it is just... weird to me. I don't plan on having sex before marriage. This is mainly due to cultural background, we are both Asian.
I'm worried that being too physical (like making out?) will turn him on without any way to relieve it. I can't really stop him from becoming aroused and I'm too uncomfortable to do anything about it if he does, so I'm thinking maybe I should just avoid being too physical with him.
I plan on talking to him about limits and such, but I don't know how exactly to say it because this is an extremely awkward topic for me in general.
Sorry for being so awkward in my post.
TL;DR: | Scared he'll become aroused and not be able to do anything about it, should I just avoid being too intimate? Also how do I bring this up? Has anyone else been in this type of situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How to talk to my manager and my quarter-life crises.
POST: I recently started a new job at a restaurant making salads. I thought this would be a great entry-level job for someone interested in moving into the culinary field as a career path. Except the problem is that I'm discovering I actually really hate working in a kitchen. My manager is also scheduling me to work 36 hour weeks while I'm a full time student. How do I talk to my manager about changing my schedule without sounding like a whiney teenager? Also, I'm struggling with what I want to do with my life because I'm going to school for culinary, and I've wanted to be a chef since I was in 1st grade.
TL;DR: | How do I ask my manager nicely about cutting back on the hours I work? Also, I don't know what to do with my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (28/F) am in therapy. My mother (55) will be visiting next spring. Is it a good idea to have a joint session?
POST: My mom has been an alcoholic my entire life. I moved away from home and to a new country to get married last year. I started therapy earlier this year and a lot of my issues revolve around growing up with an alcoholic mother. I have great anxiety over how this visit will play out. I feel like our relationship is very superficial.
I'm concerned that she cannot handle it. But I feel like its important for me.
Anyone had therapy with their parent(s) once they were an adult? How did it go? Anyone with an alcoholic parent have advice?
Any help would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | is it a good idea for me to ask my alcoholic mom (55) to join me(28/f) in a therapy session? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Not sure if this is asked very often, but is there a good college major that has a lot of employment and isn't so dependent on math skills?
POST: I'm a Biological Sciences major but it's just my first year of college so I'm not really sure if I'll stick with it. I'm concerned that I'll graduate with no skills and no job opportunities, but I'm not sure what choice I have. I'm pretty terrible at math, so I'm not sure if a CS/Programming/Engineering major would work out for me. All the chem programs at my university are also ridiculously hard and mostly math based.
I took an anthropology class and really enjoyed it, as well as a history/culture class for my gen ed. I love those classes so much, they seem to be the subjects I've always excelled in. But I do love science too, I'm just not sure what to do with myself.
I'm also not sure what I should do for employment, I'm interested in travel and I was thinking about ecology, but I'm not sure about that either.
TL;DR: | any ideas for a major for a math-challenged, history-loving, but science-inclined freshman? A major that's good for employment would be nice too. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Why am I so sensitive and what can be done about it?
POST: A recurring theme in my [F 42] relationships is that I am overly sensitive. I have been told more than once by someone close to me that they feel like they have to "walk on eggshells" around me. This seems to happen in romantic relationships but not necessarily elsewhere. Generally, people like me, think I'm fun, etc. I also usually have pretty good insight and am a good judge of character, etc. But in my relationships (I've only have two very serious ones), I'm told often that I am too sensitive. It is difficult for me to sort out whether I actually am too sensitive or whether these S.O.s just treat me a little roughly. I don't understand how I can be so sensitive in these relationships and not elsewhere.
Adding to the stress of that situation, I am one who tears up easily. It can be for any emotion. But in THIS relationship it can be difficult because I will tear up when I'm only slightly frustrated or hurt. Then it looks more serious, and then we end up having a fight. This makes me try harder not to do that, which is stress-inducing, and only makes the next outbreak even more stressful for us all. These two traits combined are sapping my relationship.
I wanted to actually ask in r/pshycology, but they dont allow questions like that. I'd really like some real insight and not just opinions. Something backed up with citations or research. I'd like to understand why it happens and some ideas for how to overcome it.
TL;DR: | I tear up easily and I am sensitive. These two traits are causing problems in my relationship. Does anyone have experience or researched advice and tips about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [29 M] have sex with an old flame [29 F] who's now separated?
POST: Title says it all. We saw each other off and on for the past couple years until she got married. Things were always pretty fiery with us and we enjoyed the thrill of it all, but eventually she decided to settle down and try to start the whole stereotypical family life with the more low key guy. I cut off all contact and never heard from her again.
Now a year later into her marriage she texts me out of the blue saying that her marriage is on the rocks and they are getting separated. She's invited me over to her place after her husband moves out or to meet up somewhere else. This to me is a clear indication that she wants to fire things up again and have some fun.
I'm kinda conflicted because I don't wanna get in the middle of her marriage issues but it'd still be a nice little fling like the old days. What do you guys think? Too risky?
TL;DR: | Old lover wants to meet up for sex. Should I do it or let her sort out her marriage issues and stay away? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/m] Got a fantastic partner [22/f], but feel hardly any excitement.
POST: My 5th anniversary is approaching. My girlfriend is very devoted-- loving, sweet, and makes it clear that she thinks I'm perfect and totally the one for her.
However, it's not so clear to me. I do love her and I do feel comforted by her, but I'm nervous. Five years is time enough, I'm "supposed" to pop the question soon. But it feels like just that, a requirement that I'm uncomfortable with.
I can find things to complain about. She's not in the best shape. Our religions/philosophies disagree. She's very tense while I am very calm. Her family is a doozy, to say the least. I'm her first real love, and it makes me skeptical of how accurate her feelings really could be.
My sense of confusion about my own emotions was aggravated today by reading Murakami's short "100% girl": In the sense of this metaphor, I'm certainly her 100% boy, but I'd give her something more like 75 - 80%.
TL;DR: | I love my girlfriend very much. I just don't feel like I love her enough to marry her. How do I love her more, or move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (42F) need help replying to an insincere message from my "best friend" (43F) of 30 years. She's been horrible before & I think our friendship is toxic.
POST: My (42F) "best friend" (43F) & I have been friends for 30 years. In those 30 years, she's always had a way of making me feel inferior, or that my problems were never as bad as hers. We nearly "broke up" once when she forced me to go to a party where she wanted to pick up some guy she liked. This guy's cousin ended up slipping the date rape drug into my drink. 2 of my other friends found me before things got too far. I was told she was shouting that I had ruined her chances with the guy she liked. The 2 friends took me to the hospital for testing the next day. I received counselling. I was told to cut all ties & I did.
Fast forward 3 months and I receive a call from a mutual friend that my "best friend" really needs me because a member of her family is dying. Of course, I give in to help.
She later hated the fact that I was getting married, etc.
Fast forward to now: I sustained a brain injury a year and a half ago. Things have been horrible. She barely listens to me & frequently cuts me off. Just a few weeks ago, my husband was let go from his job of 20 years. When I confided in her, she replied "oh, that's really too bad for him".
I think I need her out of my life or I will never emotionally heal. I am filled with anger. She's made me feel insignificant unless she needs me. What can I say to her in a brief and unemotional way to tell her she's been a horrible friend? I don't want to do it in person because I know I'll break down.
TL;DR: | best friend" of 30 years has always treated me like I'm insignificant. How do I tell her I've reached my boiling point in an unemotional way, preferably not in person. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What does it truly take to become successful?
POST: Well guys I come to you with one of my first questions that has some real meat to it. I'm a freshman in college (at Illinois State University) and I cant help but ask myself this more and more each day. I am a business major and when it comes to jobs in my major their are tons of possibilities. I ponder the many things I could possibly do with my degree, and then I think "what if the economy doesn't bounce back?. What if there is no demand for business majors when I'm out of college? And What alternatives can I consider if business isn't my thing?"
Another thing that bothers me is the deteriorating importance of my education. While it is said to be essential I cant help but feel my college education means as little as my high school diploma. My friends older brother went to college and graduated with a degree in graphic design. His dad works for Tomy a educational toy company. His dads power in the company allowed him to score a job as one of their main sales associates. Nothing he did in college or his major remotely trained him for the job he attained. Is the working world all about connections??? It just bothers me that someone could get hired and perform a job without real experience.
TL;DR: | I am worried about the state of the job market in america, and am wondering what you guys think is the main component in being successful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my bf [26 M] 1.5 years I'm pregnant and I can't stop thinking about a rough patch we went through
POST: So me and my bf had a pretty good relationship up until last Christmas. We both had personal issues that made each of us very unstable. We broke up on bad terms only days later to find out I was pregnant. After a terrible month we ended up back together. When we were separated he began a relationship with a mutual acquaintance, a girl that hated me and was always jealous of me. I know that sounds really self centered but she truthfully went out of her way to be nasty spreading rumors and harrasing me with nasty phone calls. We got back together and i told him to cut it off. He said he would...he didn't. It wasn't until about a month later that someone informed me that they were still talking. What that consisted of im not certain but it makes me sick to think about. When I confronted him about it he admitted to some guilt but the whole truth came out slowly from him during the next week. I forgave him. I myself had been talking to different guys during this rough patch and I knew it was out of more fear than anything.
Its been half a year since all this went on and I occasionally find myself thinking about it from time to time. Is this normal? Most days go by and it doesn't bother me one bit. Sometimes I have nightmares about it and I can't stop thinking about it all day. I love my bf and I'm happy with the way everything is working out we have both learned and grown from this experience. But sometimes when I think about that time I get angry and want to plot revenge.e and this person attend the same school part of me is afraid if I see her my anger will compel me to do something stupid. I've told him about these feelings and we've talked about it a lot...I just want to know eventually these feelings will dissapate. I'm about to have a baby and I have a lot to look forward to. We have a much more open and honest relationship yet I still feel bitterness surge up sometimes. Maybe at first we were motivated to stay together for our baby but now I can say we admire respect and love one another multides more than before.
TL;DR: | my bf cheated. I am commited to forgiving him how do I let go of my anger and bitterness? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [M24] Need help with work acquaintance [F23]
POST: We have known each other for awhile, but never really hung outside of work. I've always had a crush on her but wasn't ready for a relationship yet so I never asked her out. At first I was apprehensive to try anything because I didn't want it to be awkward and we were working together a lot, but now I have a new full time job so we don't work together near as much. Recently we were working together with another one of my close girl friends. My friend kept saying that the girl I had a crush on was always looking my way and always smiled when she talked to me. My friend told me to go for it because she thought that she was into me.
My only thing is that sometimes I do get the vibe that she is into me and then other times I feel like she just isn't into me at all. I have had really good conversations and ones that just kinda "meh". I know we all have those days where we just don't really feel like talking or just having an off day. Plus we are at work most the time and that can just be no fun in general.
I want to actually give it a shot though. Was going to text her and maybe start seeing if we could even hold a conversation over texting. Anyone got some advice for a good opener? Or just some general texting advice? Things to avoid or do?
TL;DR: | Have a crush on coworker. Some people think she is into me. Was going to text her. Have no idea what I am doing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Less than 1 year in the workforce, seeking advice on Retirement plan options between 457b, Roth or Traditional IRA
POST: Long time reader, first time poster. I've read the rules/wiki so I hope I'm not violating any rules and this is the correct subreddit for this post.
I'm new to the work force with just under 1 year of full-time employment. I make 44k and have a family of 4. We live in a low cost of living and are able to invest ~30% of our income for the remainder of the year, $500 bi-weekly post tax based on our budget.
Investment options:
-Work has a 457b account with FSTMX, VGSLX & VGSLX as the low fee index options.
-My other options I'm looking at are the standard Vanguard options, Roth IRA, Traditional IRA, or Brokerage accounts.
I've been maxing out my Roth IRA (VFFVX) this year through payroll deductions as I assume I'll drastically increase my earning potential in the future years. Originally I thought Roth would be the best option based on that assumption, but the more I read on this and other forums, I think I might be making a mistake.
I've started trying to run the numbers in TurboTax 2015 to figure out if I should try to catch up with 457b contributions, or if maxing out the Roth first is the best approach. I'm thinking I should stop funding my Roth and work towards fully funding the 457b as the tax advantages of reducing my income, even at 44k, seem significant.
I won't be able to max out the 457b plan this year regardless, but could max out my Roth if I continue with my current investment strategy.
TL;DR: | Which type of investment account to prioritize based on family of 4 making 44k and $500 bi-weekly to invest? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to know when to ask out a girl.
POST: Not sure if this is the right place to post, just let me know if this belongs somewhere else and I can remove the post.
Anyways, I met this girl on OKCupid. I know the whole point of it is to try and get meet someone and have a few dates, but I seem to have trouble knowing when to ask. I was about to ask tonight, and probably should have, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I've talked to her for a week or two, maybe every other day. Anyways, I asked why she was there, and she said she doesn't go out much and has trouble talking to cute guys in person, so she does it online. I joked that she shouldn't have a problem with me, when she told me I was "pretty cute" and said I have nice eyes. I said thanks, mentioned her eyes and smile. She said thanks, then You're welcome. I was about to ask her then, but chickened out. Plus, not sure I have the time within the next week for a date, seeing as this weekend is taken by a cousins birthday party, and she is busy the other day. I want to actually meet and maybe get coffee or something. What is a good date idea, and how far ahead should I try and ask her out? I don't know about planning things a week in advance.
TL;DR: | Met a girl online. When should I ask her out, what to do, and how far in advance. Busy till next weekend at least and don't want to make plans for that far out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure that I can stomach growing old with my wife.
POST: We've been married 15 years. I'm a guy in my forties now, and she's similar age. Our entire marriage has been somewhere between bad and so-so ... I was pretty sure it was a mistake the day we got married (yeah, I know...) Still, we've stuck it out. There have been good times. We even have a young child, who I love dearly. But I cannot see us making it through another year, let alone five or ten, or beyond.
My interest in her is just about zero at this point. Divorce would be extremely expensive for me, and I'm the breadwinner. But I would feel a lot happier released from this relationship and be available for somebody else (not that I have anybody in mind at this point). But I don't want to delay the inevitable - since nobody's going to be interested in a fifty-something divorced guy with no house or money (she'd get most of it I'm sure).
At one point, I actually asked her for a divorce. It was a semi-bluff to be honest, but I thought she might jump at it, and I thought that might be a big relief for her. So it was kind of a test. Anyway, she didn't seem to want to go for that. But things haven't really been the same since.
We're actually pretty good together as occasional friends. We still make each other laugh. But getting married to her was a giant mistake, it sort of ruined the relationship, it's too close for us. At this point we're even living in different cities, which she doesn't seem to like, but which has been a relief for me.
TL;DR: | I guess the question is, has anybody been through this, stayed married for kids/money's sake and regretted it? Life is short. Thanks, reddit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Engineering job start date question
POST: I apologize in advance if this is not the appropriate forum for this kind of question.
I graduated with a BS in an engineering field this May and have been hired at a government lab. The job will required a that I complete a background check before I can be cleared to work because they need to know if I can qualify for security clearance later. I filled out the paper work a few months ago with little idea of what my summer would be like. When asked about a start date, I mentioned August 1st. However, as is fairly common, I now have a problem with that date because of a girl.
This particular girl is very special to me and I do not want to lose her. The problem comes from two things, first she is living in Prague, and second she has several psychological issues (bipolar and others) that make it difficult for her to live there alone (without me). My choices are these: I can begin working at the Lab on August first, like I filled out in the form, and then she would most likely not be able to stay in Prague safely because of depression. She would come back to the states, blame me for not being with her and choosing work over her, and I would loose her. Or I could go to Prague for the next 2-2.5 months and probably give her enough strength to stay for the duration of her stay, however I would miss the original start date with lab by many weeks.
My questions is how to (or whether to at all) bring this up with the lab. I don't know this kind of career etiquette at all, so I don't know if this is wildly unprofessional and could cause them to retract their offer to me (another thing that I am not willing to loose). Is it acceptable to ask for a 6-7 week delay in my start date?
TL;DR: | I want to push back a start date 4-6 weeks from when I said I could start because of a relationship. Is that possible? should I even ask? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Husband (30M) and I (30F) are taking (and paying for) our immediate families (parents in 60s and 18F sibling) to take a cruise. Are we wrong to leave out his cousin (17F) and aunt (58F)?
POST: My husband and I are financially comfortable. Not sure if it matters, but we take in over $400k/year. We grew up poor and like to treat our parents, who are still low income as well as my sister who just finished high school. My husband also has a cousin (17F) who lives with husband's mom. She has parents in another country, but is here attending high school. When we visit, we treat her like we do my sister. She gets xmas gifts, money for her grades, etc, and takes family trips with us.
Husband and I have never taken a longer vacation alone (no honeymoon, or post bar-trip, etc), as our families never got to travel and we want them to enjoy life. This summer, we're booking an Alaskan cruise, and it's getting rather expensive. After flights, hotel rooms, the cruise itself, and probable excursions, we're looking at $2k/person. Because of this and because MIL has another sister (58F) visiting from abroad, we decided to keep it to our parents and my sister.
No one has suggested there's anything wrong with this, and MIL seemed to assume that her sister and niece wouldn't be coming, but husband and I feel a little guilty for cutting out the niece (and to a lesser extent, MIL's sister). Niece has come on a number of trips with us and is good friends with my sister. The two don't get to see each other than often, and with my sister going off to college this fall, won't in the near future. Another $4k won't hurt us financially right now, but we have so many expenses coming up (new baby, buying houses for parents when they move out to be closer to use, sister's college) that I don't really want to take on another $4k.
Does anyone think that the decision not to take the niece (and/or aunt) is wrong? It's not too late for us to book another set of tickets/rooms.
TL;DR: | Husband and I decided not to shell out another $4k to take his niece and aunt on a cruise. We're starting to feel a little guilty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: **Update**:I [15M] want to do something nice for one of my teachers [40sM] after finding out he's going through tough times
POST: My original post did not get too much attention but you can find it here:
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who commented, especially /u/NightOwlEye and /u/Sirspoppet.
We made a giant card for our teacher in our class period when he was out. He was visiting his father and when he returned he was happy to see the big card we made him. He thanked all of us for caring about what was going on with him.
Well, I guess we made the card just in time. My teacher returned for a week and all was going well, but he has been out since last Wednesday. We all found out that his father has passed away and so he has been out ever since.
I feel a little sad for my teacher right now. He's such a nice guy, and he is truly one of the best teachers at our school. He is laid back, and understanding and extremely down to earth. I've never been more comfortable in a class than his. It sucks to see him in a tough time right now. He is a really nice person and he doesn't deserve to be in a tough spot like this.
Upon finding this news out, our class made another card, sharing our deepest sympathies. We all signed it. He hasn't come back to school yet so we weren't able to get it to him just yet.
I still want to do something extremely nice for him though. He's such an awesome person and I personally feel like I want to do something for him to show that he has all of our support. However I am still not too sure what would be considered appropriate and what would be considered "crossing the line". I did think of chipping in with a few friends to get him something nice however I am not sure what would be appropriate for a situation like this!
TL;DR: | Teacher was really happy with the card we made him, one week later his father passed. Want to do something even nicer for him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF and I got sick. She stopped taking pill, didn't tell me, details inside.
POST: GF 23 and I 24m both came down with a pretty bad sickness, but because of it and the difficulty with her doc she had stopped taking her pills. During that time we hadn't had any PIV sex, but she hadn't ever TOLD me she had actually stopped. I just noticed over a few weeks that I hadn't seen her take the pill...
It ate away at me for a while until I finally just asked her if she was still on them or not. She said no, but that she was going to start again the next week.
I would have been completely fine with this if she had actually told me, but she didn't and I freaked out really badly. I went on a rant about how that wasn't something you just keep to yourself, it's a decision that can affect us both. She replied saying that she had it under control and that if we had done PIV during that time she would have gotten PlanB etc.
While that might have been entirely true. The fact that she didn't feel the need to tell me she was off of it during that time struck me hard, and I said that was a huge trust thing for me. She kept saying that she didn't feel like she did anything wrong and nothing happened, but that she did screw up in communicating.
We sat and talked for a while after that, she even offered to take me with her to the docs to look into other forms of BC that wasn't pills... inserts and such... but I was still reeling from her lack of telling me.
My head was spinning and it hurt, but she finally said that it sounds like I can't trust her anymore and we called it.
I am in shambles right now, while we didn't have PIV there are of course still risks and she knew how I felt about them. Was this really just an honest mistake on her part about telling me?
My lizard brain told me to bail but I still have feelings for her, everything I read about these stories is usually AFTER they had PIV without condoms and such but this wasn't the case... I don't know what to do...
TL;DR: | GF stopped pills, no PIV but she didn't tell me, I freaked out and we called it but I keep thinking what if it was a mistake. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [31m] GF [30F] of 8 months, just texted me she loves me, I'm not sure if I do...
POST: I met this girl, we will call her Britney, over Tinder last December, neither of us had a place for the first 5 months when we were casually dating unitil I got an apartment in May.
She stays over one or two nights, (she works evenings, and I days so we don't get a lot of time during the week) and plans her weekends around me.
She doesn't have the biggest social circle here in town, so I have invited her to hang out with me and my friends often on the weekends.
I worry about us becoming *serious* because the last GF I had is still entwined in my social circle, and to this day doesn't seem to let me be her friend, two years after our breakup.
This leads to awkward social outings, when said ex is around, even without current GF present, and I can almost plan on not being involved in any conversations with her, as she can't even make eye contact with me to this day.
I desperately want to avoid this in the event of a breakup, and with Britney telling me those three little words, I am not sure how to respond.
I want to state that our relationship is in no way inconvenient for me. She is a fun loving, caring, sweet girl. I just don't think I'm there yet.
I don't want to lead her on when I don't know if I ever will be, but don't want to rule it out just because I don't feel it now.
Am I leading her on? Should I know by now? I suppose I can just ignore the text and wait until she brings it up, but I'll have to address it at some point.
What is a graceful way of saying "I know"?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend says she loves me, I'm all Han Solo over here, but have no carbonite to freeze into... Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Standing In an Ant Bed
POST: So Reddit, this was technically last night, but none the less.
My dad was working on building a shelter for our AC unit, and was cutting 2x4s with a table saw. He needed my help because he was scared of the boards catching and flying up and hitting him in the head, so he asked for my help.
Being the good son I am, I happily agreed, even though it was 10 at night and dark. I threw on my flip flops and walked outside, he has me on one side and him on the other holding each end of the board.
The first board we cut without incident, so we go to the second one, and this is where the shit went to the fan. We're in the middle of cutting it and I feel something crawling on my leg and my foot starts to sting, I can't see what it is and I start freaking out. I take one hand off the board to get whatever it is off and WHAM! My glasses fly one way, half the 2x4 shoots out to the side and the other half shoots up and uppercuts me with the force of a thousand suns.
I sat there in shock for a few seconds trying to see if my jaw was still there, luckily it was, and now I'm sitting here with an upper lip similar to Angelina Jolie's and a sore mouth.
The worst part is my dad started laughing..
TL;DR: | ant bites me, get in a fist fight with a 2x4, 2x4 wins, free plastic surgery. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can anyone help me figure out a rude gesture I saw on my commute this morning?
POST: I am not sure this is the right place to post this, but it's nagging at me. I was driving in the fast lane (which was going faster than the others) and this woman started tailgating me. She was flashing her brights, which I barely saw because she was so close. She was making this gesture: she put her hand up like he was making a "thumbs up," but she was bending her thumb over and over. She did this three times, all the while being a couple of feet from my back end; she passed me eventually and she did it again. I have no idea if this is even the right place to ask, or if this is even a rude gesture, but I was hoping someone could at least make a suggestion of where I could look for an answer.
TL;DR: | I saw a woman make a gesture while tailgating me in traffic this morning and I have no idea what it means or where to look for an answer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with [18F] that I have been talking to for two and a half weeks, should I be worried if she hangs out with other guy friends? Should I say something?
POST: Around two weeks ago I began talking to this girl. Everything has gone great, we can talk easy and when we hang out its a blast, but she does have quite a few other guy friends. She tells me that I am the only one she is "talking to" and that I should believe her but like i said I have only known her for around two weeks so I am a little worried when she goes to hang out with them. She is a very pretty girl and quite a few guys blow up her phone, some she texts some she just ignores. Should I be worried when she hangs out with them? Especially if it is just her and him??? Should I say something?
We have discussed dating before
TL;DR: | Should I be worried if the girl I have talking to for a little over two weeks hangs out with her other guy friends if its just him and her? Should I say something? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] looking for someone to talk with to help get over my crush on [28 F], fairly complicated struggle
POST: cross-posting /r/INFJ
Started out as purely friends, had no romantic intentions, but the more we hung out, the more serious my feelings started developing for her. I've known her for about 4 or 5 months now, and the way we interact with each other is a level of connection I've simply not experienced in years since my last serious relationship, and waiting for the next one to be discovered will take another several years which I can't do either.
I'm almost 30 with pressure from everyone around me (family too) to start a family of my own, seeing how I'm already so successful with my career (Executive) she's in the same boat as well as far as wanting to settling down too.
However, it's complicated. And me and her are simply no go.
And I'm struggling hard to move on. It's chewing away at my confidence level and somewhat hitting a depressing level... I could use someone understanding to chat with and support me, preferably from a feminine point of view.. thanks so much.
TL;DR: | struggling with getting over a complicated crush, looking for someone open minded and understanding to talk with and support me. thank you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/M] any advice would help.
POST: I just recently got out of a long term relationship (2 and a half years). It was a really amicable break up and I have no hard feelings towards her. I'm the type of guy who has always had a girlfriend so single life is new to me. Since the breakup (which was a month ago) I have since slept with two girls. The problem that I have is since I've only known relationships I'm finding that I'm developing feelings for these girls. I was friends with both girls before I did anything with them and both situations were very short friends with benefits. I know I rambled and I'm sorry but I just need some advice/tips on how to make this less frequent? I like the idea of casual sex but my emotions are kind of getting in the way. Thanks
TL;DR: | Broke up with girlfriend of 2 and a half years, had two brief fwb's started to catch feelings, need advice on how not to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Today I threw my back out again, the second time in sixth months. The pain is excruciating. Could this be a sign of disease?
POST: Some backstory - I'm a twenty-two year old female, about 5'7" and yes I am slightly overweight, but not to the point where my physical life is affected (I guess not until now). I'm pretty healthy and lead an active lifestyle. I have already been checked for kidney problems and am happy to report I have none.
My back problems started about two years ago; I started experiencing stiffness and soreness from sitting. It soon transitioned into sharp pains that, upon prolonged sitting, would shoot through my thighs. I began seeing a chiropractor who was very helpful and gradually, the pain subsided.
Fast forward to March of this year. I work as a vet tech, so it involves a lot of heavy lifting and physical work. I'm sure it originally had to do with picking up a Great Dane or something, but somehow I managed to cause a small spasm that, at first, didn't bother me too much. The next morning, however, I bent down to feed my little dog, and when I stood, my lower back spasmed with a pain so terrible that I literally screamed.
I couldn't walk straight, I couldn't sit, I couldn't hardly lie down without writhing in pain. At the E.R., the doctor gave me an injection of morphine and an anti-inflammatory. I went home and got two months of bed rest, and that was that.
Today, I got out of the shower, bent down to pick up my towel and upon standing, was hit with the same pain, though less severe, from eight months ago. I had to immediately lie down and breath deeply to keep from crying. I'm relieved it's not as painful as it was before, but it's enough to have to call in to work... again. I'll be getting X-Rays done tomorrow morning, but I thought since I can't sleep, I'd ask Reddit about any diseases known to bring about pain like this.
Any advice or thoughts would be very kind and I'd be forever grateful.
TL;DR: | threw out back twice in a year, am only 22yo - is this normal or could this be a sign of some disease? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I've been feeling extremely unfulfilled with my life as of late and I feel like finding a hobby to become passionate about might do the trick. I'd welcome any ideas!
POST: As the title says I'm feeling very unfulfilled with my life at the moment. I go to bed at night wondering what exactly I did with my day and feel like my time was completely wasted and it gives me this sort of empty, lonely feeling. If that makes sense.
Little background:
I'm 28. I have a good job and plenty of friends. I don't have a lot of money but I get by just fine and I don't suffer from any kind of depression or any other disability.
My day normally consists of work, going home and going for a run, showering then make some dinner and watch TV or browse reddit/google reader. Sometimes I'll make phone calls or play a video game or two but even video games don't hold my attention any more since it feels like superficial fulfilment to me.
What really drives home my lack of fulfillment is listening to my peers talk about the things that they enjoy with great detail and knowledge and being able to get others interested in what they're doing... maybe it was fixing a car, visiting an art gallery, investing in stocks, building a bar... just some pretty cool things that I'm unable or unskilled enough to do.
I've tried getting myself in to a few things in the past but I never felt like I enjoyed what I was doing; rather I just felt I was doing it just to do it then go home. Other ideas I've had were just too expensive.
So ANYWAY what I'm looking for is some ideas for a hobby or anything else that would help me feel a bit better about myself. My only real requirement would be that it's a cheap suggestion as I can't afford any large investments.
TL;DR: | Help me find a cheap hobby that a 28-year old single male can undertake to feel a little more fulfilled in life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by vaping and driving
POST: This fun fuck up happened about twelve hours ago or so, so hooray for that.
I work for a major worldwide delivery company as a driver. Just going about my day as I have for almost the past two years as I normally do when some bullshit happens...
I've been vaping for about the past six months. I went from smoking a pack a day to only vaping in a short amount of time and love it. I have a rather big box mod. (A sigelei 150w if you're familiar with it). It's fairly big. When held in your hand, from a distance, it can almost look like a cell phone.
As I'm merrily driving along and vaping away, I suddenly am getting pulled over. I've never been pulled over in my work truck so I'm feeling really nervous. The officer comes up and asks for my documents and asks if I knew why he pulled me over. I really had no idea why he had pulled me over as I knew I didn't break any rules of the road, so I said no. He then says... I saw you texting and driving.
Fuck. No, I wasn't. He grabs my license and other paperwork and heads back to his vehicle to begin writing me a citation. He comes back to me and explains the citation, the fine and demands I sign the ticket. The biggest problem here is... At my work if you're cited for driving while texting, it's instant termination.
Now I've got the citation when I 100% know I wasn't texting and driving. I was vaping and driving, which is perfectly legal. I have no idea what to do, or how to even defend myself should I take it to court to fight the ticket.
TL;DR: | vaping box mod looks bug enough to be a cell phone, got pulled over and cited for texting while driving because of it. Probably getting fired. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Girlfriend got an abortion, I got hit with a CA VC section 12500a citation. Help!
POST: Backstory: I've had my driver's permit expire twice due to laziness. About two months ago, I got into an argument with my girlfriend resulting in her feeling like shit and unable to drive. I just wanted to knock out so I decided to drive her home. While doing so, I got pulled over for not signaling on a left turn (4 AM no traffic at all and it was a left turn lane at that, but don't get me wrong I take full responsibility for it). I got charged with violating CA VC Section 12500a.
Upon researching the ticket, I read that if I obtain my driver's license before the court date I could get the charge dismissed. However, I was only able to get my permit because there were no driving test appointment dates before my court arraignment.
Matter in hand: My girlfriend just got a medication abortion yesterday. Ain't that some shit, right? Unsurprisingly, she was in a world of pain and needed supplies (maxi-pads and etc.) from the store asap. I decided to drive her car three blocks from her house to Vons... you can probably see where this story is going. Long story short, I got pulled over while making a right turn exit out of the parking structure because according to the cop he could've rear-ended me if not for him slowing down; that's complete bullshit because he had nothing to say following my response. He was 'nice' enough to let me call my 'on the verge of death' girlfriend and have her come to the car so he wouldn't have to tow it.
Oh yeah, and I got hit with my second VC Section 12500a misdemeanor in two months. However, this time around, I have a driving test appointment on Tuesday and I just wanted to know from Reddit if that would really help in getting a dismissal. I mean yahoo answers tells me it's very likely, but it's fucken yahoo answers. And if so, what would be the process I would have to go through?
Thanks Reddit and excuse the sloppy writing, I'm tending to my girlfriend as I type and she seems to be in more pain today than yesterday.
TL;DR: | Could I get a CA VC 12500a misdemeanor charge dismissed if I obtain my driver's license before the court arraignment date? And if so, how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does she[19/f] like me[19/m]? How Do I Show My Intent?
POST: So I'm a sophomore in college with very little experience other than a small relationship about a year. I've never been good with reading signs (they've usually been platonic signs in my experience with crushes), but there's a classmate of mine that was my neighbor last year in the dorms. We've always talked and when we do, we talk for literally hours. She's dispelled some personal stuff (family problems, history of alcoholism in her family) and lately I'm beginning to have a huge crush on her. I want to ask her to a lunch or something (she works at Starbucks, so coffee is out of the question) but I don't know where it will lead. So, does she like me? If I like her, how do I show my intent without being blatant or creepy about it? I've always had that feeling of both when approaching and pursuing girls.
TL;DR: | College student with little experience and is bad at reading signs is interested in classmate, wants to ask to lunch or something but does not know what it holds or how to show intent without being weird about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, I think that I'm going to get fired from my current job for looking for another job. Please help!
POST: I have worked at a portrait studio for the last 8 months, and I'm a recent college graduate. I'm going through the interview process at another company that has better pay and benefits. As a new father who isn't able to get health insurance for his kid because his company doesn't offer any form of health benefits, I'm excited for the new opportunity.
Let me make it clear though, I love my job. The only reason I would leave the job is to better take care of my family, which I believe this job could do.
Earlier today I asked my boss for the day of the interview off, and she asked what I needed it off for. Trying to be completely open and honest, I told her about the interview and told her that it wasn't set in stone, I just wanted to see if the opportunity was worthwhile. She said that she would have to call her boss so that she could make a plan just in case they needed someone to replace me on the quick. It apparently is against company policy to send your resume out to any other company, and she said that having an interview at another company is grounds for dismissal.
I live in Indiana, which apparently means they can fire me for any reason. Is there anything I can do if they decide to fire me?
TL;DR: | My company has a policy against looking for another job, and they just might fire me for having an interview with another company. I live in Indiana, legal help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31/F] with my coworkers [25-60 M/F] and their focus on God at work and how to respond.
POST: I recently moved to a more religious and conservative city than I am used to. I like and appreciate my co-workers, but consider the following statements they make when talking to me:
"I was really worried about it, but God is good, right?"
"I know God put me in this position. He knows best, you know?"
"I know God was watching out for me in that meeting. (expectant look)"
These co-workers do not know that I don't believe in God. Everyone in my close-knit team goes to church. It doesn't bother me that they talk about God in passing, but it bothers me that they expect me to agree with their statements or validate them with a nod or affirmation. They might be very surprised to find that I don't believe in God, because I'm sure they think I'm just like them. Why else would I be in a caring and compassionate field if I didn't believe in God? I think that's their reasoning.
Anyway, I don't feel like I should have to answer with "Right," or a "Yes," or a "Yeah, God is good." I shouldn't have to nod. I don't believe that God is sitting in on our meetings while people are dying all over the world. Usually I just give a small smile and blank stare, but I feel very awkward doing that. I want to say something, but I don't want to start some sort of debate or get in a religious conversation.
What is the appropriate reaction to this? It happens a LOT! What can I say that conveys that I have no issue with their belief in God but that I am not going to agree with them while they stare at me expectantly to do so? They literally pause and wait expectantly.
The only co-worker in my close team who does not do this is a girl I've become friends with since I got here. She is very religious, but I told her quietly that I don't believe. She sometimes says God was with her during meetings and things, but she doesn't ask me for validation or affirmation or even pause expectantly.
TL;DR: | How do I respond to co-workers when they're expecting validation or affirmation for their religious beliefs at work? I work closely with these people and want to do it in a nice way that will not start a debate or religious conversation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: She wants me to wait for her. Am I being stupid?
POST: Hey reddit, So here's the deal. I really like this girl and she says she likes me back. We talk and txt all the time and we have gone on a couple simple "dates" to the caf for lunch and dinner. (I'm in college btw) But anyhow, the problem is that she is currently in a relationship with another guy. She met him when she got to school, (shes a freshman I'm a sophomore) and they have been sorta together since then. He doesn't ever take her on dates or eat dinner with her or basically try to make any time for her other than being at a party. She told me the other day that she knows he is wrong for her and that I am right for her. But the thing is, she says she is afraid to break up with him because she has been with him since she came to school. She tells me it is just "a matter of time" and that she just needs "to get over the attachment" that she has to him.
I really really like this girl and I think I understand what she is going through but I really wanted to know what you guys think. Am I being stupid by trying to wait for this girl and its never going to happen or does it make sense that she is just working up the courage to end it?
TL;DR: | I like a girl who has a lame boyfriend, she likes me back, she hasn't ended it with him. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should ALL depictions of abuse and torture be banned, or just some?
POST: There's quite a lot of "gore"/NSFL posts on Reddit (and elsewhere on the Internet), showing people getting their head torn off, being shot in the head, et cetera. As I understand it, there's nothing illegal *per se* in watching those.
However, couldn't one argue that the spreading of these videos, showing some sort of abuse, whether it be of bullying or of outright torture - that the dissemination and viewing of those could be likened to a "second" abuse of the victim? And that it should be seen as such, legally, too?
I'm asking, because this is the argument made in relation to depiction of sexual abuse of children. Watching child porn is a crime - because it's depictions of abuse, and seeing and spreading it means abusing the child once more.
I agree with that line of thought - child porn should be illegal - yet, I can't quite square that with the fact that watching *other* types of crime and abuse is legal.
I guess one could argue it'd be worse for a victim of rape to know that people all over the world are watching a video of it, than it would be for a victim of torture. But I'm not sure about that.
Can someone help me think this through?
TL;DR: | Should all depictions of torture and abuse be banned - ie. *both* child porn and NSFL torture pics? Or just some? Why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Skinny dude with a disproportionate gut looking to loose it... I am going to keep it simple by continuing to work out but I am going to simply cut my intakes... Can it be eyeballed using smaller plates or should I note every calorie in?
POST: So lets me be honest I dont really know what it feels like to be hungry, its very easy to go a few feet and grab some xmas cookies, junk food, or what ever else I have in a fully packed fridge/pantry.
I consider myself a skinny fat person... a dude with dainty wrists, skinny legs and a dis proportioned midline... I have a fat persons gut in a skinny persons frame. I have never had a decent midline and I know I will never get there without fixing my diet.
I am not pushing my gut in these pics and I am sure many will say I am already to skinny but personally I am getting sick and tired of having a disproportionate gut.
Since I do workout, do not drink soda, (despite holiday cookies) I am going to focus on the diet... eating on a deficit. I dont eat a lot as it is, but I figure if I cut what I am eating by 60-75% or more I will see results. My main eating bowls are these (below) and I figure If use these during my staple meals, 3-4 times a day plus greens/snacks it will be less than my normal serving and loose this gut.
What I am looking to loose:
My main eating dishes:
As of my first night.... I am sitting here with somewhat of a headache... and not liking it.
TL;DR: | I am skinny fat and sick and tired of it.. I am cutting my eating my eating habits but not sure how to calculate intake, I simply figure eat less rather than count each individual calorie, good idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I worry less?
POST: Sometimes my worries about my family members or friends overwhelms me to the point that it occupies my mind and distracts me from the tasks at hand, or my worries become externalized and I annoy my housemates in worrying about their problems, (ie. I try to make sure they're okay by providing for them or talking to them about what's going on in their lives, but to excess.) I find it hard to "shut off" my instinct to worry. For example, if someone makes a random strange noise I get the "fight" response in my body and prepare for a medical emergency (perhaps tempered by both of my parents' past medical problems.)
TL;DR: | I'm going to schedule an appointment with a counselor, but is there anything I can do minimize the stress my worrying puts on myself and those I care about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my manager [50?F] of a few days, unsure how to approach her with a legality issue.
POST: So, I work night shift in a major retail store in the UK.
I used to work 8 hr shifts, from 10pm-6am, 5 days a week. We just got a new manager who has decided to change that to 12 hr shifts, 8pm-8am, 4 days a week. In the UK, it's not legal for night shift workers to be doing longer than 8 hours per night, especially if the job is classed as physical, which mine is.
I don't know how to approach my manager without sounding as if I'm trying to get away with doing less. It's already affecting my health and I'm unhappy, but I'm worried that it will negatively affect my relationship with my manager. Obviously first impressions are really important, especially this early on in a working relationship. I feel the need to add she is a very critical person and even when you're giving 110% it's never enough. I'm really worried she wouldn't take this seriously even though it's an issue of legal compliance, because I wouldn't know where to take it after this.
I'm not too clear on UK law and I've been trying to find information but it's really difficult. From what I've read I'm sure that it's not legal, but I don't want to go ahead and start suggesting it's not if I'm not right. Does anyone know of any UK law resources they can point me to?
TL;DR: | I think my manager is breaking the law (UK) in making me do 12 hour shifts on a nights job, total 48 hours a week. 10 hours above what I'm contracted. Don't know how to approach her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by tea-bagging my mom
POST: TIFU: I'm an 18 y/o college student home for the summer. Also, this happened like half an hour ago and I can't sleep, so now I'm writing this basking in the horror of what just happened... anyways. So I was in my room just finishing up my "nightly ritual" and I wanted something to drink. I'm completely naked, stumbling through my pitch-black house trying to find the kitchen. My family has drastically changed the layout of our furniture while I was at school, so I didn't have the confidence to walk straight to the kitchen blind. Little did I know, the family dog was asleep in the middle of the living room. I trip over her, and stumble a bit and have no idea which direction I'm facing, so I walk forward until I stub my toe on the corner of the couch and again trip only to have my junk flop into my mother's face.
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! She must have fallen asleep on the couch and AHHHHHH I can't stop imagining what just happened :(
TL;DR: | I tripped naked over my dog in the dark and tea-bagged my mom who fell asleep on the couch. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure what isn't working for me...
POST: Hey, r/relationships. I need some help.
Relatively new relationship for me (around 1 and a half months). We are both 18 going on 19 college students. This is my first 'Facebook official' girlfriend in a long time. I've been dating girls quite often but I hadn't actually made one official until now.
This girl is gorgeous. She's cool. She isn't whiny or needy. No complaints about the sex. We have similar interests. When we're together we're having a good time. But for some reason, I'm just not 'feeling' it... That's the best way I can describe it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. Is something wrong with me? Is this normal? Have any of you experienced similar feelings with new relationships? Because, I feel like at this point I should still be feeling butterflies and thinking about her constantly. But there was like a 2 day period where I almost *forgot* I was dating her. That doesn't seem right to me.
Should I stick it out a little longer, or end it? Furthermore, if I *do* break up with her, how do I explain this without sounding like a total and complete asshole? Because I would feel like *such* a dick doing that.
Thank you.
TL;DR: | In a relationship with a great girl who has everything I'd want, still not 'feeling' it for some reason and I don't know why. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it really possible to best friends with someone of the opposite sex?
POST: I (28m) have been friends with (28f) for years. We are both somewhat sexually attracted to each other and have slept together a handful of times. She saids I'm her best friend but I don't know if I'd consider her my best friend but more like a close friend.
Neither one of use has managed to have a relationship for more than a couple of months. I've been starting to think that our friendship might be negatively effecting our other potential dating relationships.
We have discussed being "more than friends" but because of both of our not so long term relationship histories she thinks if it didn't work out it would jeopardize the friendship. I feel like at our age eventually one of us will end up in a serious relationship and the daily texting, the sleepovers, and most of the other stuff we do will end and the friendship will change anyway.
TL;DR: | So is it really possible for 2 people of the opposite sex to be best friends without it causing issues with each others dating life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the craziest story you tell your friends, yet to this day do not believe you? Ill start.
POST: So back in the summer of 2009, I being a soon-to-be Senior in High School was chilling at 2 in the morning watching TV downstairs. Minding my own business when I heard the loudest sound to hit these ear drums since the birth of myself. It was like Zeus was having none of my shit and was going to strike me down this day. Luckily for me, or unluckily when I inspected the shit it was what looked like a Back to the Future movie gone wrong. A car had just splooged itself halfway into my pool. Headlights somewhat dipping into the end of the pool and the bumper stuck itself through one of our windows. My heart started beating and my mind started racing as I see a man, I shit you not run out of the car naked with nothing on but boots. I hauled ass to get my dad because shit was about to get real. He of course didnt believe when I said a man ran away naked with just boots on and he left his DeLorean in cruise in our pool. My dad finally got up out of bed and followed me to the scene of the crime where the man had reappeared trying to rev his car out of the pool. My dad having none of this bitch slapped the man out of the seat and called the cops. Everything was fine afterwards, but unfortunately the man had ran away in fear of us making fun of his attire.
TL;DR: | Crazy naked man crashed his car into my pool. Ran away naked for all to see. Dad bitch-slapped a naked man wearing boots. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need some advice about Frontier Communications.
POST: A couple of years ago, I signed a 2 year contract with frontier communications along with Dish network service. This is for our home in Orange County, NY. Last November, I was no longer staying in that home so I called Frontier to cancel my service.
I talked to a representative and she said my 2 year contract was not up. I understood and told her that I didn't really want to pay the early termination fee so I will hold off until the end. I stayed there on occasional weekends so it didn't really matter at the time. I did, however, wanted them to cancel the service at the end of the contract.
So, March comes around (contract was up). I still didn't stop the service because I figured the contract was up and could cancel anytime. August comes around and I noticed that there were additional charges to my bill. They allowed someone I allowed to stay at the house for a couple of weeks to charge a $20 service to my number (though they were never authorized to do so by me). When I asked why they allowed it, they said I didn't contest it. Shouldn't it be automatic that if the person signing up for a third party service using their name is not authorized to make changes to my bill? I contacted the third party service and they will refund me all the money charged to my phone bill. This has never happened to my Time Warner account (even though my younger brother tried once).
Being surprised by the lack of security Frontier Communications gives to their customers, I decided I will stop service. When I called them, they said I would be charged with $200 for and early termination fee. I nearly lost my head. This was after the 2 year contract. Their explanation is nuts, the supervisor said that they notified me via my bill that because I did not explicitly contact them within 30 days of my contract ending they automatically renewed a 2 year contract 30 days after my first contract ended.
IS THIS LEGAL? Is there anyway I can get this $200 cancellation fee eliminated? Needless to say, I DO NOT recommend Frontier Communications. I feel they are cheating me out of $200.
Reddit, what can I do?
TL;DR: | Frontier is still charging me early termination fee ($200) after my 2 year contract because they automatically renewed the contract because I didn't contact them that I didn't want the contract renewed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What crazy things did your family do to help you break childhood habits? I'll start
POST: I slept with this gross pillow until I was about ten. It had a nickname (can't for the life of me remember it right now) and I refused to let my parents wash it. I would freak out if there was a chance I was going to have to sleep somewhere without it.
I went to a summer camp, and in my excitement I forgot to bring the pillow. The whole week I was looking forward to a glorious reunion with my dirty companion. I get picked up by my parents, and we head straight to my grandparents' house so I could tell them about my week.
I recall noticing a putrid smell, and turn the corner onto their back porch to see my grandfather BURNING MY PILLOW ON HIS GRILL. I was devastated, bit eventually realize how ridiculous it was to be so attached to the thing.
TL;DR: | Had a gross unwashed pillow I refused to give up, return from summer camp to see my grandfather burning it on his grill. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: [Advice] Can my employer force me to purchase lottery tickets that customers refused?
POST: I work at a small convenience store and I've only been here a few months. There's the usual drama here and there between coworkers and just recently, a bulletin was put up saying "To all employees: If you do not sell lottery tickets that customers refuse by the end of your shift, YOU are responsible for purchasing them".
I'm young and have really no ground to stand on but, isn't there some sort of workers protection policy or something stating that an employer cannot force you to pay for anything unless you are directly responsible for any kind of damage or defamation? Sure, our store loses money when there's lotto tickets that have been printed and cannot be cancelled therefore requiring someone to pay for them but I don't think it's the employee's responsibility to pay for them.
There's always a risk when operating a business and if you choose to sell lottery tickets, you accept the fact that here and there customers are gonna be dicks and not pay for some tickets so the company has to bite the bullet. Most companies budget at least a portion for losses, correct? Why would an employee have to cover their loss?
TL;DR: | My boss wants me to buy lottery tickets that customers refuse to pay for. Is she allowed to even suggest that, like it's some sort of policy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife[26/F] and I[27/M] decided I would get a vasectomy and now she's backing off the idea.
POST: My wife and I have two great kids. It was decided before we tried for the second one that this would be it for our reproducing career and that I would get a vasectomy after baby #2 was born.
I've scheduled the appointment to get snipped but my wife is suddenly really against the idea. Suddenly she thinks she might(50/50) want another one in a few years. I know I'm totally done. We agreed as a condition of trying for baby 2 that I would get a vasectomy.
I feel blindsided by her sudden change of heart. What should I do?
TL;DR: | My wife and I agreed I would get a vasectomy, now she's against the idea. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Parents wont let her stay [17]
POST: Hello. We're both 17 and together in a relationship. We love each other and I think of her as more than my girlfriend, my partner, something beyond the usual. She already finished High School and will be graduating next month. I, however, still have one more year to go. Her plans prior to us meeting were leaving the country to study in Canada (and her parents, after several fights and discussions, had finally agreed to let her go). I also had plans of studying abroad (as many geeky teens, in Japan), but perhaps they weren't as plausible as hers.
Each had their path, and then we met. We dated without really thinking about the future, but it is starting to catch up with us. Long story made shorts, we do not want to be apart, but her parents won't let her stay. I said she could study intensive French, read, keep practicing guitar (she takes lessons), sign up for literay courses, etc. All these things are things she enjoys and would help her with her career (she wants to study Sociology). However, Sociology isn't available at her temporary college of choice, and University starts until next summer in 2015 (same time I enroll).
One thing is clear, we don't want to be apart, so this situation leaves us with three choices: she leaves to Canada and I stay here, she stays a year here until we can go to university together, or she leaves to Canada and I follow her there (without a HS diploma, and perhaps legal documentation). The less risky choice would perhaps be for her to stay here and then going to university together. Her parents do not agree though and we would like to know how to convince them. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you for reading.
TL;DR: | We had separate paths. Our paths came together. Every choice is risky. We made our own plan, her parents are the final battleground. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Who is in the wrong when it comes to snooping & cheating. 24F & 26M.
POST: Some unfavorable things happened between my bf & I recently concerning snooping and finding evidence of cheating. Ever since, we've been on a tug of war of who was right and what was wrong. These fights have me so messed up that I'm starting to doubt myself. And I have a lot of questions.
Who is in the wrong. Is it bad to go through your SOs stuff, or does that become null if you find something? I get that it's bad, wrong and untrustworthy to rifle through ones personal information. I wouldn't want the same done to me. But does that even matter when you have never done that before, but suddenly find a motive to do so? Like if your partner is showing red flags, and is always on their phone? What if you find evidence of cheating. Is it even considered cheating when it's a sext sent to someone else while drunk? Or of they become mad because "it's not like it was physical, I was drunk and don't remember doing it"? Do they still have the right to be mad about the fact that you went through their things to find it? What if they become defensive. Or if they don't admit to the proof you found and don't come clean, but constantly turn it around on you for violating their privacy. How you stole personal information from them. But they hid important information from you. How do you reason with them and try to make them see what they did was wrong, when they're just as mad at what you did and try to make you see what you did was wrong. Supposedly, the information about the sexting was hidden so I wouldn't get hurt; it was to protect me. How do you even go about rebuilding trust? Can you even do that? How do you go about reassuring one another. I get with the phone thing you can just password protect everything, delete conversations, or have your phone on you 24/7 so no one goes through it. But how does the other person get reassured.
TL;DR: | who is in the wrong when it comes to cheating and snooping. How can you even go about rebuilding trust. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I asked my girlfriend to get fitter and she didn't take it well. Was I wrong?
POST: My girlfriend (25f) and I (24m) have been dating off and on - but mostly on - for the past decade. Yup, a long time. I recently brought something up with her that I'd like your opinion on, Reddit. I asked her ask kindly and understanding as I could if she could maybe work on her legs a bit.
Here's the deal. I find her very attractive, and she's not heavy by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought I could bring up that her legs were out of shape, basically. I just found her legs more attractive when they were slimmer is all. Overall, though, I think she looks great.
She didn't take this well at all. I mean, I can't say I didn't expect for her to be a little taken aback, but I was hoping for a resigned, "yeah, you're probably right, I should get back in shape." Instead, she got incredibly upset, saying I should be able to look past a flaw such as this, because it's not like her legs were out of control big or anything. She says she's very upset because now she knows that I see the same thing she does (she's to happy with the way her legs look either) and just feels insecure.
So Reddit, was I wrong to express my feelings about the fitness of my girlfriend's legs, or is she taking the suggestion too seriously and maybe blowing it a it out of proportion? She's basically convinced me that I'm an insensitive asshole who has stepped over a major line. Do you agree? Thanks in advance for any comments and opinions...
TL;DR: | I asked my girlfriend to maybe shape up her legs a little bit and she didn't take it well. Was I wrong to broach this subject? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28M] went into a relationship with my bf[36M] of 8 months even though I wasn't attracted to him. I've tried, but I feel really unhappy with it. He's my best friend and I don't know how to end it best and try to keep the friendship.
POST: He was my best friend before we started dating. He'd hit on me a lot and tell me how into me he was. I wasn't attracted to him physically and I was straight up about it. I wasn't mean, but I told him.
One night we went out to the bar and ended up sleeping together and the next day I was just like fuck it, I love him, might as well try. So we started dating.
It hasn't been great though. The relationship has been ok, but sex is a constant problem. It's just not good. He wants it all the time and I go a long with it most of the time, but it's just not good. I'm still not attracted to him and it's kinda started to piss me off how mediocre it is. I feel like I'm wasting my time just to protect his feelings.
I love his personality and he is my best friend. I know that most likely I won't be able to salvage the friendship, but if there's any way I can, I really want to.
TL;DR: | Dated my best friend even though I wasn't attracted to him, now I want to end it and want to save the friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19 M] Unsure what to do about a girl i really like
POST: Ok, so going through school this girl was in my year, but it was only until college when i really started noticing her, and the next couple of years i started to fancy her a lot but was always too shy to even say anything. We know each other but not that well since i always shy near her. Now, a year since ive seen her last because of uni, i feel like i have the confidence to talk to her properly but im not sure how i should go about actually getting into contact with her again (i mean i cant just be on facebook like "hey, you haven't seen me for a year but i reaaaalllyy like you")
What do you guys think i should do?
TL;DR: | Girl i've drooled over but have been shy towards for past 3 years i havent seen in a year, finally have confidence to talk to her properly but dunno how to do it, what do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: F [37] and M [40] together for 2 years. Is it creepy/weird/wrong to hangout with a guy I met on Facebook? Would love perspective from both sexes.
POST: So my bf and I have been together for 2 years, living together for 1.
I moved to this city 2 years ago and while I have made friends, I'd always like to make more! My bf and I have recently discussed making more effort to expand our friend circle as we're at the age where most people our age have children. This includes mutual friends as well as friends we could hang out with solo.
Enter Facebook guy. We were chatting on an event page, and trying to help each other with a presale password to a concert. Long story short, I helped him, he added me as a friend, then sent me a message asking me out for a drink as a way to say thank you.
While my Facebook status does not say I'm in a relationship, there are plenty of photos of myself and my SO so I think it's obvious I'm not single.
Is it weird to accept an offer from random Facebook guy? We have tons in common and he seems like a cool dude. However, I also question his motives cause, you know, men.
Men- how would you feel if your SO went out with random Facebook dude? Would you get pissed/jealous if she even brought it up? Would you ever seek out the company of a woman in a relationship?
Women- would you feel awkward about this?
TL;DR: | need to make more friends in new city, is it weird to go out with a stranger of the opposite sex if you're in a committed relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any redditors meet their spouse *in a bar* ? Am I barking up the wrong tree here?
POST: I'm 26. I'm not looking to get married immediately, but I would like to be with someone I love with similar interests and flair for life. Most of my friends now live with their SO's and it looks great. I've never had that. Also, it kinda sucks to be the habitually single guy in our group (i.e. no bar wingman or partner for couples gamenight [j/k we don't do that]).
I haven't focused too much on dating recently just because its expensive and very time-consuming. I do go on a decent number of *first* dates. I live in SF and am on one of the free dating sites, but that produces contact with girls that have....interesting personalities. And yes, I have hobbies in which I am very active that have great social components (playing music, cycling, niche bars, pub trivia, soon kickball or rugby).
Through bad luck or just my inflated pickiness, I've dated some people I met through these means, but have found nothing serious for a long time. I've almost had better luck just meeting random people in public/bars.
My question is: how many of you actually met your spouses at a bar?
TL;DR: | I'm picky and haven't found any meaningful relationships through my hobbies. I have better luck in bars but doubt those contacts will produce any more meaningful relationships. Who of you met your spouse in a bar? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do you balance work and your relationship?
POST: Married for less than a year, but my husband and I have been living together for about 5 years now. Balancing our work schedules has always been a problem. I've been in grad school--so tons of work to do all the time, without much free time. He's had tons of odd jobs, from working on political campaigns to being a bus boy. At the moment, I have a part-time job working evenings and one day on the weekend. He's working three jobs--one of which is a film project where he works 10-12 hr days. Any days he has off from the film, he works at his others jobs. We just got back from a 4 day vacation (albeit, with my parents), but prior to that he had worked 27 days straight. We were supposed to have Friday off together, but the producer changed his mind at the last minute and made it a work day. Right now, I'm expecting that we won't get another day off together until June.
It has been like this for a long time, but I'm still not used to it. He's gone through long periods of unemployment--which sucked financially, but allowed us to have a lot of time together at home, which I love. When he's working like this, I get incredibly frustrated. I try to focus on myself (exercise) and other projects, but I miss him! I wish there was a way for us both to make money, but also have time off together. At least, I wish I had a better way to handle my frustration with the situation. We didn't get a single day off for Easter or Passover together. I was hoping we'd get 4/20, but nope.
Someday down the road, maybe we'll both have steady employment. However, since he wants to work in the creative field, he may end up working on other projects like this film that had ridiculous hours. How do other people deal with this kind of situation? I know with the way the economy is, we're not the only people living this kind of lifestyle right now.
TL;DR: | My husband and I haven't had a day off alone together in over a month. I'm going crazy. How do other people deal with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18F] with my ex [22M] , we were together for nearly 2 years, I'm still in love with him, help!
POST: Ok so, a bit of background- We met at a neighbours house, we clicked quite quickly as I thought we had common interests at the time. The relationship developed and we ended up falling in love with each other.
I had a shit childhood and I'm not using it for all the problems I have but it contributed to me struggling with this relationship, I developed an anxious attachment and it was horrible, he has a very flirty personality as well so it wasn't the best. I believe now that I've overcome this but our relationship has already ended with the situation of him moving away to attend uni (I'm really really happy for him right now).
The reasons we broke up was because he didn't love me anymore, this was because he felt we clashed emotionally, we were on different levels, we had little common interests, and he just wanted to go out and do more things as an individual person. We are still best friends, he still really likes me and etc. so I'm happy with that but I'm not ready to move on reddit.
This guy is more than my first love, he was the first person to actually take an interest in my life and do anything to make me happy, and I'm not ready to let him go. I really want him back and I'm willing to change for him (not just for him but for myself because I'm not the best person). But the thing is he's already got people he likes and wants to get with, this hurts like a bitch. I constantly have this feeling in my chest, it's heavy like someone is standing on me or I'm drowning, that typical heartbreak feeling and I'm not kidding when I say constantly.
I've seen him talking to this girl he really likes and it's an even worse feeling than the usual, an intense crushing/melting feeling repeated every second, I really don't know how to explain it. I've completely respected his privacy but I've peered over his shoulder a few times and the things they say to each other reminds me of how we started off. I don't know how to deal with this, please help me.
TL;DR: | I'm suffering severe heartbreak but I don't want to move on, I want to try again. Reddit help me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've [25 M] been single for way too long and it's really starting to get to me.
POST: I've only had one relationship in the past four years (that lasted just three months) and I've been trying to stay positive and just focus on me but I feel like either I'm doing something really wrong or I'm just broken or something. I mean for god's sake I was in college and all that and nothing happened. I tried definitely but nothing ever worked out, I'm 25 now and I feel like these and the next few years I should have been dating around and partying and instead the most action I get is from my right hand.
I also just moved to a brand new town that's two states away from where I lived, so now I'm even more alone. There are a lot of cute girls at my work but every single one I talk to is taken. They'll give me their number but then tell me they have a boyfriend or casually "bring it up" later in the conversation. And don't get me wrong, I had one friend here that led me to having more friends, so I have a handful of new friends that I like, but they are all guys. They go to bars and stuff sometimes but I'm a teetotaler and I don't drink, plus I have terrible anxiety to begin with (working on finding a medication that will work with my shrink, so far nothing). I have the worst social anxiety of all time, I constantly feel watched and nervous, yet despite that I still make moves and go after girls but like I said above it just doesn't help.
I'm trying to focus on me still but I'm breaking down, I want sex, I want a relationship, I want to go out on dates... this girl at my work (that I'm not interested in) gave me a hand massage the other day and I almost wanted to start crying... that was the most human interaction I've felt in a long, long time, how pitiful am I?
TL;DR: | Had one tiny relationship in the past four years, I feel like these should be the best years of my life and now I'm getting old and don't know what I'm doing wrong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] just started going out with a girl [23F] and she broke up with me because I "like her too much."
POST: I had a horrible week considering my grandmother is in the hospital, both parents are now ill, and uni grades just got updated and several are bad for my GPA considering I'm looking at med school. GF got mad at me because she thought I liked another girl and eventually I broke down into tears because of everything that was going on. She thought I was crying only because of her and broke up with me because I'm too sensitive and got attached to her too quickly. Hell I was about to cry when I saw my new GPA.
I talked to her today and she keeps saying it's not a good idea to go out if I like her way more, am more sensitive, and am more emotional. I don't want things to end this way.
Is there anything I can say or do to save the situation? She doesn't seem to budge. I guess I should just accept things and move on.
TL;DR: | GF broke up with me after I had a horrible week and cried. She thinks I am too emotional and sensitive over her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 3 years, noticed that every time I go on a trip without him - he acts emotionally distant when I call home.
POST: We have been dating for about three years now. Usually I travel to visit family or to go to a wedding. of course I let him know that he is always welcome to traveling with me. he would tag along always given that he didn't have work or school. I'm visiting family - he shouldn't have a problem with it. But when I call him, he barely even speaks to me. I'm always the one to initiate the conversations and he ends it with one word answers. this is not normal.. Normally when I'm home we would call each other after work and can hold the conversation pretty long since we actually talk about our day. i told him happy Valentine's Day yesterday and how I missed him and all he said was ok and thanks. I quite frankly feel cautioned to tell him about my day and how I'm having fun now since I'm away on a trip. what to do?
TL;DR: | boyfriend acts distant when I go on a trip without him and then becomes normal again when we see each other. what can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17/M] best friend[17/M] told me he's in love with me, and we haven't talked since.
POST: A bit of backstory:
I've known my best friend since 2nd grade, and he's been my best friend almost the entire time. At this point, he's basically family.
Couple months ago, he came out as gay to me and a few others when we were hanging out, and it wasn't a surprise. No girlfriend ever, and we've caught him checking out dudes a couple times. It wasn't really a big thing to us, and nothing really changed.
On Saturday, we were hanging out, and he said that he had something really important to tell me. He said that he's in love with me, has been for a couple years now. I just said sorry, I'm not gay, and he asked me to leave.
He hasn't talked to me since then. I sent him a text yesterday, just asking him what's up, and he didn't text me back.
I don't want to lose my best friend, I've known him most of my life. Is there anything I can say/do?
TL;DR: | Best friend came out as gay a couple months ago, then told me he's in love with me a couple days ago. I told him I'm not gay, and we haven't talked since. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife [30 F] wants to stay at home, but I [32 M] make less money than her?
POST: So my wife's company allotted maternity leave is almost done, and she sprung it on me that she wants to stay home with our daughter until she's in grade school at the very least. Before this she was a mechanical engineer and making more money than me (by about 15k), so I offered to stay home instead (it makes more economic sense). However, she says that that would be an "unnatural" arrangement and rejects the possibility.
Not sure what to do now, I think we can manage but I'll have to put in so many overtime hours (:|) and I'm not altogether impressed by this arrangement. What to do
TL;DR: | Wife made more money than me, now she wants to stay at home, don't know how to make this economically feasible without working way harder and longer than I want to |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Question about cats that don't seem to get along with new cats brought into the home?
POST: okay so, i need serious advice. i moved out of my mom's house into my fiancee's house leaving my beloved 5 year old kitty (subbie) behind. it was heartbreaking and tears were shed but i had to do it. so, christmas comes around and fiancee gets me a kitten (miley). i fell in love all over again.
long story short, fiancee and i are planning on moving out of town in about 6 month. we are for sure taking the new kitty miley with us, i want to take the old kitty subbie with us, but anytime we tried introducing subbie to a new cat she would turn into a demon cat and hiss anytime anybody or anything came near her. i'm guessing it had to do with territory or something like that.
if we moved subbie and miley into a new house where it is no cat's territory, is there any chance subbie won't be so hateful towards us/miley? the two cats have never met before but i can't leave either of them behind.
TL;DR: | want to bring old cat and new cat together into a new home, old cat is known to be hostile towards new cat and wondering if moving them into uncharted territory will be a smart idea. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] developed feelings for two room mates who might be onto me. Things are crazy, dangerous and complicated. Could I get some advice, please?
POST: It all started about 6 months ago when I (24M) started living with strangers (1xM & 3xF). We are all single and our ages do not vary too greatly. This might sound strange to some, but where I live, students, even if they don't know each other, can end up sharing a house to reduce rent costs. Effectively, we rent our own bed room and share kitchen, bathroom and living room.
By coincidence, we all had matching personalities and became good friends really quickly. Almost every night, we cook together, help each other out, share personal stories (sex and love are no exception) or simply have a nice time. It has come to the point where it feels like I don't want this living situation to ever change. Things work almost terrifyingly smoothly. However, I cannot deny to myself any longer that I have developed romantic and erotic feelings for one of my room mates and purely lust another. To make things worse, I am the type who bottles up these kind of emotions (except lust) till they burst out of me. In other words, things are complicated and potentially dangerous.
Now, I know there are many dangers of having a relationship with a room mate and making any move should be done very carefully or not at all. However, due to discontinuing my study, I plan on moving out soon. If I manage to keep my cool, I could still build a working relationship after the move. I just fear I won't make it. Thus, I ask for some advice.
Bottom line is, that I do not seek a serious relationship. Someone to cuddle and become a bit intimate with is my goal. Both girls mentioned would satisfy me (I need better wording for this...). However, I fear for spoiling the great friendships we have created and the overall atmosphere of the house.
TL;DR: | Random female room mates, after becoming friends, now starting to feel more for two of them. About to move out, but bottled up emotions are strong. Need advice on how to stay calm or maybe how to make a move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf [27/M] and I [22/F] just broke up (15 months). Has the rule of no contact helped anyone else?
POST: My boyfriend [27/M] broke up with me [22/F] about a week ago. We were dating for 15 months and we saw each other/spent the night together almost every other night during this time. We broke up because he said he never wants to get married and he doesn't want kids (both of which I do, but I'm willing to compromise).
Our breakup wasn't terrible, I just cried and asked him to stay the night, which he said he would. Only, he left during the middle of the night and I haven't heard from him since. We've been out of contact for a week. Everything I read keeps telling me if I want him back then we shouldn't talk for about 30 days and then slowly rebuild our relationship. I'm just curious has "no contact" worked for anyone else? Did your ex eventually come back to you?
We had a great relationship but about 2 weeks before he dumped me I kinda pressured him into the topic of marriage and I think I freaked him out.
TL;DR: | 27/M dumped 22/F after 15 months of a good relationship. Haven't spoken in 7 days despite seeing each other almost everyday before. Has anyone done no contact and successfully got their ex back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: My Mom didn't pay taxes. The State is going to take money from the joint account she opened for me when I was a minor that only I use. Can I do anything?
POST: I opened a bank account when I was ten. Because I was a minor, it was a joint account with my mom (that was the bank's rules). She has never ever used it herself (she even forgot it exists). Fast forward almost twenty years I've never switched accounts because I've always been happy with my bank. This has been my primary checking and savings account. The fact that my mom was still on my account never really bothered me, or crossed my mind, because I didn't know she had bad finances, and because she never EVER uses this account. For all practical purposes its "mine."
Well today, I just received a notice that about $2,500 in my account has been attached and will be remitted to the state tax board in 10 days. Turns out that my mom hasn't paid state taxes in 2 years, and they have decided to take from this account. I had absolutely no notice of this. The notice I got came directly from my bank. My mom does not have the money to pay this.
Other than not using this account anymore, and opening an account in my name only, what else can I do?
TL;DR: | Mom didn't pay taxes and now the government is taking money from our joint account, which is really my account that she never ever uses, and her name is only on it because it was opened when I was a minor. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Genuinely miss talking to a girl, but I kinda screwed it up. (X-post)
POST: I'll do my best to keep this short her and I are both 26.
6 months ago I met a girl on okc and we hit it off great. Texting all day into the night, tons in common, blah blah. Due to conflicting schedules we didn't hang out till a month after meeting and the day before I was contacted by my ex who just wanted to chat. While I have no interest in dating my ex again it put me in a weird place and I wasn't positive that I was ready for a girlfriend again.
This girl and I hung out the next day and she could tell something was off. The next day she asked me what's up and I told her I don't feel like I'm over my ex yet and it wouldn't be fair to go into another relationship without being 100% ready. She didn't take this well and we stopped talking.
I think about her occasionally and really wish we could still be friends cause I really liked her and enjoyed talking to her. Should I attempt to reach out again or just leave it be?
TL;DR: | met girl, liked each other, I wasn't over my ex and didn't want to have a relationship, she wasn't happy, I still wanna talk to her. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (17f) boyfriend (17m) is too good at making out, causing issues in our (5 month) relationship
POST: I have the most first world problem ever, I know. But he's really, really good at kissing which wouldn't be an issue except I feel like it's creating issues within our relationship. He always makes me super turned on but I have no idea what to do to make him feel the same. I know various things that he enjoys (neck kisses, back scratches, stuff like that) but none of them are things that get him super turned on. We both agree that handjobs at this stage in our relationship would be weird. And when we start actually making out and he plays with my boobs and stuff, I honestly get too caught up to think about things that I can do. He says he doesn't mind, but it really really bothers me that I can't get him as turned on as he gets me. So tips on stuff that I can do to him while we're making out to make it more enjoyable for him, or tips on how to not get so caught up that I can't effectively please him would be much appreciated.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is great at making out, I need advice on how to make him feel as good as he makes me feel, neither of us want to go as far as handjobs |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my upstairs neighbour [?? M], his constant drumming is driving me mad
POST: The title pretty much says it all.
I have been living here for three months and for those three months my upstairs neighbour has been driving me absolutely bonkers with his constant drumming.
When I had been living here for about a month he woke me up at 9:30 on a saturday morning because he was drumming like mad man and blasting music so loudly that it was like I was at a shitty concert. I decided to go talk to him that morning because this was over the top unacceptable to me. I went to his door but I guess he was either making so much noise so he couldn't hear me or he was ignoring me. I decided to write him a friendly letter where I told him that the noise of his drumming travelled a lot and it was unbearable to me.
Since then he has toned down the music but he practices the drums every day on and off the entire day. As you can imagine the sounds of drumming and the vibrations are almost impossible to drown out and ignore. I am pretty much completely unable to study at home anymore and it honestly is driving me mad to have to listen to this all day everyday.
Now I understand that he wants to practice and I would be able to bear it if he practiced for an hour or two each day but I can't stand that this is on and off all day.
So my question is, how do I approach this? Am I being rude to ask him to tone down the drumming? He usually respects the quiet hours but does drum into the night sometimes on the weekends. Should I try to talk to him face to face? Please help me I am terrified of confrontation but I think I need to do something for my mental health.
TL;DR: | Upstairs neighbour drums all day everyday and it's driving me mad. I have confronted him once before but I can't stand this anymore. How do I tackle this issue? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How common are pricing errors at grocery stores? - My score in comments
POST: So I'm planning a seafood fest this weekend and went to Fry's to pick up some king crab legs. I found some packaged legs at 19.99, but 9.99 with the card (they are cut up and not whole), so i thought it was a great deal. I picked up 3 packages, around 4 lbs. Going through self checkout, the crab and other items came to 120$, after scanning my card, it dropped down to an unexpected 40$... turns out i was being uncharged on the discounted price. After going to my car, i went back and bought the rest of their stock, just over 10 lbs total.
My question is: How frequent are not just pricing errors, but errors where someone hand weighed and printed a package with a price, but at the register, that price rings up higher/lower than printed. I am guessing that there was some type of error with an update on the backend DB...
TL;DR: | Bought King Crab at 5.70/lbs, original price 19.99/lbs, suppose to be discounted to 9.99/lbs. How often does this happen? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trusting a friend to recommend an anime . [NSFW]?
POST: So here i was in the morning minding my own biz , when a buddy of mine comes up to me and goes "Hey, thatoneweirdo__ you're getting into anime recently right?" And this was true so i responded "yeah man , got any recomendations?" "Boku no pico is great man , slice of life type stuff." "Oh cool thanks!" (I had orignally come to this friend for anime advice , and he knew what i liked.) And so i decide i'll watch this at home!
I get home , and start typing away on my trusty laptop , opened a tab and searched it up . If it werent for that little side box that pops up every once and a while that describes the show , i would have clicked on the first link to the show. And i would've been scarred for life. (For those of you curious of what lied before me go ahead and look it up... i dare you.)
TL;DR: | Took a friend's advice and nearly watched an anime that would have created the mother of all trust issues for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit, what are some crazy things you've found that your grandparents had done?
POST: For my first post on reddit ever, I'll start.
Some back story. My grandfather has Dementia/Alzheimer's Disease. We (me and my mom) are currently living with my grandparents. Usually I feel bad, but today I found this instance rather funny.
A month ago I went to Gay Pride San Francisco and received all of the condoms I could ever imagine. 31, to be exact. Usually I have them hidden in my room because well, I don't really want almost three dozen condoms laying around in my room for the world to see.
Today, I found my little baggie of condoms on the floor and thought nothing of it immediately. I figured my grandfather went through my drawers and decided to toss everything on the floor and forget to pick it up, which happens often. So, I went about my business in my room and did what any other typical teenager would during summer. It starts getting late, so I have to get my headphones inorder to listen to music. As I'm fumbling around my desk for my headphones I find something kinda squishy, at first I thought it was some food bit or something like that, but my hand just doesn't want to avoid it so I turn on my light.
Apparently, my grandfather found my bag of condoms. Some of them were wrapped like lollipop (with the stick and wrapper and everything) and thought they were *real* lollipops. So he took one, unwrapped it, took a bite out of it, and spit it out. On my desk. Then decided to leave the evidence. Plus, it wasn't even a flavored one.
TL;DR: | Grandpa went through my room, found a condom lollipop for a sweet treat and decided to leave me the leftovers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: saw a nutritionist to get help and left feeling extremely discouraged?
POST: so i have a number of friends that have suffered from eating disorders and they wanted to ensure that i was going about weight loss in a healthy way and as a result they made an appointment at my school's nutritionist for me.
but after talking to her i feel extremely discouraged about weight loss now. i feel like i am doing something wrong because i want to loose weight and because i'm counting calories.
she told me to follow my body's signals for when i am hungry/satisfied. she said to eat what i want and obviously exercise. she said that what i need to do is let my body find "it's natural weight" and then learn to maintain that. respond to my body and its needs. i agreed with her on all these points. she stressed how diets are only temporary weight loss and that eventually a lot of people end up loosing the weight but then they gain it all back. i understand this, i understand that i need to make life style changes to maintain weight loss, ect. the main thing she told me tho was to stop using MFP.
BUT i guess the problem the i have is that i WAS following my body's signals before and eating what i wanted and that's how i ended up gaining 30 pounds in high school? i feel like in general she was just trying to get me to stop wanting to loose weight and change to a healthier eating habit, which i understand but the thing is i don't like the weight that i am at? i want to decrease my weight and feel better about myself and enjoy shopping for clothing and just enjoy be a young college student. i want to get my weight down and so far myfitnesspal has been working. i'm 12 pounds down. i am still eating foods that i want. i workout 3-5 times a week and i have cheat days still. i can eat out still. i have more energy and i feel more motivated and empowered than i ever have before, and i'm not sure if i will be able to continue to loose weight if i don't track my calories, at least for now.
TL;DR: | nutrionist told me to stop using MFP, but it's been working really well for me. should i stop using it or...? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: What to do after highschool
POST: I'm 18 years old, middle of my senior year in high school. I don't have the best grades because when it comes to school I've always been pretty lazy. I'm a super hard worker at my job and my employers see that. I really want to go to college but my family is poor and I do not want to end up with student debt. Ideally i would love to end up in some humanitarian type work. I've looked into the peace corp and that just doesn't seen like me. So really I'm trying to figure out what I need to do after high school.
TL;DR: | I want to go to college, I'm super hardworking when I care, I want to travel, and I want to help people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22 F] dating [29 M] for 2 months, what are your guys' opinions on keeping pictures of old SO's on Facebook?
POST: I started hanging out with this guy a couple months ago and while we messed around for a little while, we've only been dating for about a month now. I have a Facebook account, he doesn't, but I still wonder if I should remove pictures I have on my account of my ex boyfriend now. I'm not sure what the right etiquette is.
I'm no longer friends with nor do I speak to my ex on Facebook or any other way, but I do have a couple pictures in a few different albums that he is in. We were together for 3 years so it's kind of hard to not have something like that with him. I never bothered to delete the pictures because I didn't think it'd be a big deal, it's just part of my past and memories if anything. Now that I have a new boyfriend, I'm wondering if it's best to just delete them. Thinking about it from the other perspective, I probably wouldn't be too happy if my boyfriend had up pictures with his ex girlfriend while we are dating, but maybe that's just my problem
TL;DR: | Should I delete pictures off of Facebook featuring my ex boyfriend or just leave them be, now that I'm in a new relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: My first /r/self post. Today Reddit, my neighbors dog was bit by a rattlesnake and died on the side of my house :`(
POST: I needed to let this out on some venue and /r/self popped up in my head.
Today while I was sitting here working on a LED project for my bus I heard a commotion outside my home. I live at the end of a dead-end street. The topology is mountains and wilderness here.
I got up and looked outside to see my next door neighbor, his daughter, the older gentleman (who's a total boss! mad respect to that guy even though its beyond the scope of my story) who lives 3 houses across the street from me, and my neighbor directly across the street.
It was strange to see them there all standing on the side of my house so I asked what was going on. The next-door neighbor pointed and the little wanderer German Shepard mix dog who belonged to my neighbor across the street was laying there, dead.
The saddest part about all of this is that dog would come to my porch and hang out with my dogs, and then wander down the street and hang out with the other lonely dogs behind a fence.
Well while I was investigating, my dog, who is also a German Shepard, was sitting there behind the fence crying, like how he does when something is totally sad. It made it way more depressing.
As it turns out she was bitten in the face by the rattlesnake. I was able to clearly identify the small pin marks, swelling and foam.
So before anything else could be said I offered to take the dog to Animal Control to be cremated, and my neighbor who owned the dog said "what?" and I said I would take her because I'm sure her kids wouldn't want to see the dog. She thanked me profusely and cried a little for the dog.
I guess I can say it was depressing to say the least. The message I would like to send out to everybody tonight is if you live in an area like mine, to get your dog anti-venom shots when you get them their booster shots. It may just save your dogs life. Both of my dogs have them.
TL;DR: | Neighbors dog was bit by a rattler and died. It was depressing. Get your dogs anti-venom if you live in a rural area. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20F) cousin/bestfriend is dating an abusive (20M) guy... I can only tell her so much but what else can I do???
POST: My cousin who is practically my best friend, we grew up together since we were 4 yrs old all the way till we moved away from each other when college came around.
She is currently in an emotionally abusive relationship. Her boyfriend slurs and calls her names all the time, leaves her at random places or at his lame friends house when they 'go out' and comes back to pick her up and take her home.. I wish I had more details but its scary to see that she feels like she can't leave him. She knows that he isnt a good guy but then finds that she cant ever break up because he convinces her to stay. One of the red flags I saw when talking to her was 'he has his good days'..
Ive let her know more than many times that I just want the best for her and that I love her. I live in New York and she lives in Texas.. I dont know what to do anymore. It's been a year and Im afraid itll only get worse.
TL;DR: | I want to provide some good words or something to make my best friend realize she is not in a healthy relationship... I am afraid for her! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35M] with my wife [35F] duration, inlaw ultimatum
POST: My wife and I have been going through very hard times. The inlaws have not been the only cause. Please refer back to
for more details.
We have managed to stay afloat until now. However, this. Christmas I dared send my mother a text message wishing her a Merry Christmas. Mom replied a few days later with her best wishes and my wife read the text. She had an emotional meltdown. She said I was disloyal to her feelings since I know just how much it hurts her for me to have any sort of relationship with my mother. She accused me of caring more about not making my mother cry rather than her. She said I was putting my relationship with my mother before her. She said if I will continue talking to my mother I must then buy us another house so we can rent our current house to my inlaws. I like my inlaws but they aren't good tenants. My wife hates my mom because mom never liked her and made her feel unwelcomed and insulted her when she was pregnant. Sadly, we lost the baby and it was likely due to lack of care and emotional stress. I've always felt guilty about it all so I'm considering accepting her ultimatum even if that means destroying the house we have worked on for years and put so much time and money into. I guess she feels that she needs to get compensated in some way and what better way than to look after her own mother and siblings. Fyi, they still live with mother-in-law.
TL;DR: | If i continue talking to my mom, wife demands that I buy another house and rent our current house to my mother in law. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31M] with long distance relationship-ish thing [23F] of 4 months, am I cheating if I date other people?
POST: I [31M] met this exhance student [23F] about 4 months ago. We became friends and soon turned it into this intense casual dating / fwb thing. We were spending a lot of time together, almost like a couple. But at the time she told me she didn't want us to get serious or use any boyfriend/girlfriend labels, because she knew she was leaving to go back to her home country. Even still, at the time I told her I'm not interested in dating other people.
Then she left about a month ago. We've been emailing (and occasionally skyping) almost daily. We've also been together once after this when I visited her and we've made plans for me to go see her again in August. But after August I can't really travel again soon because of work and as a student she doesn't have that much money to use for international travelling.
For now we've left things a little bit open and just agreed to see how things go and how we feel when we see again in August. But I don't think either of us wants a long distance relationship, and she can't move anywhere for at least a year because of school, so if we want to continue this I think the only real option left would be for me to move 2000km to her country.
We've discussed me moving once. Even though she told me she really wants to see me, she's unsure of us getting so serious. She's told me she has had some not-so-good experiences of her previous serious relationships, so I'm not sure how much that affect things. On the other hand maybe she's just not that into me. And to be honest I'm not 100% sure of my feelings either, even though I have seriously considered moving.
And to make things more complicated I got asked out on a date by a new acquintance [29F] that I find attractive. This doesn't happen often to me.
What should I do and am I cheating if I go on a date with this new acquintance?
TL;DR: | I'm in a ldr-ish thing with a girl, but everything's a little bit up in the air, so am I a cheating scumbag if I go on dates with other people? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Misdated cease and desist letter
POST: Hey there!
So I live in a major city, and I used to live under a HORRIBLE rental agency. They change their names every year so its difficult to locate them on BBB. This rental agency has been the target of several class action lawsuits for all their shady practices. One example, rent is due by the 5th. After getting a postcard in the mail saying I was late on my rent (and I owed a late fee), I was shocked. I reviewed my check, and knew the exact date I had sent the check (1-2 weeks before then). I had expected my rent check to arrive at least one week early, so I was especially surprised. I called management, and they clarified their lease; rent has to be "received" by the 5th. They told me I had no proof that they did not receive it by the 5th, and refused to show me the postmark on the envelop. They even stated that the postmark on the envelop means nothing, since it does not show proof of receipt. Ugh. I sucked it up, and wrote a review about this event. This same scenario was also retold through several other reviews (amongst other shady things). I received a letter from an attorney today saying that I had until Month, date, "2102" to remove my comments from this review site or else they can take me to court where I will be subject to pay court costs etc etc.
What happens if I dont remove it by the date (2012) they meant? If they actually do take me to court, could I just bring the letter that has 2102 listed on it? I dont want to go to court (im a broke student) however I dont want to let them continue to push me around after all they did.
TL;DR: | I received a misdated cease and desist letter dated for 2102. What happens if i dont follow their requests because of the date? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (18/f), having trouble fitting in with boyfriend's (22/m) friends (22/m+f)
POST: I've been with my boyfriend for a couple months now, and I'm really crazy about him. When we spend time alone everything goes perfectly, but whenever his friends are around I become very timid and awkward. I'm a naturally pretty awkward person, but I become even more so around them.
His friends are extremely important to him which is why I really want things to click with them, but so far they haven't. He lives in a house with 4 of his close friends, so it's kind of hard to ignore them. I think I'm just so nervous about wanting them to like me but also about how much older they are, I don't know. Whenever I'm with him and his friends I just feel so out of place and like I'm not wanted there.
Any tips on how to overcome this? I want to be civil with all his friends but have so far only been shy and awkward. Any advice will be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Boyfriend lives with and has very close knit friend group. I feel like an outsider. Tips on how to assimilate into his friend group? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Affair with the internet, changed passwords, deleted texts...something has got to give.
POST: My SO(29m) and I(28f) have been together 6years I am not a jealous or paranoid person by nature but lately I am feeling insane.
SO has always been on the internet and I'm o.k. with that. Recently however, the last 6 months, I have gotten a few shocks. Internet life is bleeding into reality. People who were just word on a screen actually exist close by. The cell phone is more interesting and holds attention more than the people 2 feet away.
I won't go into details but know that there is enough evidence and events that could be seen as very suspicious or even guilty, or maybe innocent enough. The problem is SO won't hash it out, won't talk about anything really, just turns it around on me and shuts down.
I am not guiltless. I have been insecure the last 6 months and have snooped. I don't want to sound paranoid or like a crazy jealous lover, so haven't had a serious sit down to broached the subject, in quite a while.
I don't know if SO found out I was snooping, but all passwords were changed, messages deleted and extreme privacy ensued.
If I wasn't paranoid before I certainly am now. I understand that it is partly my own insecurities causing my insanity. However I also believe that I have the right to ask for and receive full disclosure and transparency. I have given the same...I have no passwords, nothing to hide, I feel I deserve the same.
I don't even know if I have the right to ask for full transparency. I feel so frustrated with myself and with SO for feeding my insecurities by shutting me out even more! I am sick of feeling crazy, second guessing everything and being suspicious. It is debilitating and infuriating.
TL;DR: | SO is acting super suspicious and I am falling victim to the insecurity it is feeding. Why won't he just offer some transparency?!!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (M20) my (F20) have been dating for 2 years. The first year she moved out of state to live with me. The past year she moved back with her family. I see her once a month and we never have sex? But claims she loves me and goes out her way to do amazing things for me.
POST: So my girlfriend and I were doing great when we lived together. She moved back a year ago, and whenever we are about to have sex she will just start crying. I've asked her about it and says she isn't use to being touched. We go on awesome dates and have a great time. Last couple times she has been giving me sex because she assumes that I don't love her and doesn't want me looking else where for it. I don't think she is cheating because she will always be shaved down stairs for sex. But lately she hasnt been shaved. Ultimately I think its because of my weight. She is 5ft 4in 110lbs and me 6ft 5 340lbs. I lost 30lbs since we lived together. But I think if I lost a lot she would be all over me. So reddit why has she been anti sex lately?
TL;DR: | Gf never in mood for sex. Started giving it to me so I wouldn't look elsewhere. Claims she loves me and shows it. I blame the lack of sex because of my weight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Relationship is starting to feel more like babysitting rather than being with your partner. Me 26M -- Her 25F.
POST: Me and my GF have been together for about 2 years. We moved in together 4 months ago. I was living on my own and she moved out of her parents house. Here recently I noticed that she was always asking me to do stuff. Tasks that she was quite capable of handling herself. Tasks that are not even "Honey-do" material. Things like:
Asking to call to check on her bills (information, balance, etc),
Asking to hand her an item that is closer to her than it is me,
To look something up online for her when I doing something else, such as working in my car or cleaning.
Just the other day I was doing the dishes and she walked in the room and asked me to get an item from another room.
It's not like the tasks she is asking me to complete are arguable gender roles like putting up a shelf. They are silly things that an adult can handle and shouldn't have to ask for help in doing them.
This stuff is driving me insane Reddit. How do I go about this without sounding like I am saying "Do it yourself"? Anyway I look at it seems as if it may be a rude approach. What should I do?
TL;DR: | GF wants me to do simple tasks that she--as an adult--doesn't need help in doing and the tasks most of the time inconvenience me more than they do her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm worried that I might be deriving too much happiness from my boyfriend. How can I stop this?
POST: So before my boyfriend and I started dating a few months ago I was already extremely happy. Happier than I had ever been. Having him show up in my life has only made me even happier. However, sometimes we go a few weeks without seeing each other because we are both busy and we don't live in the same city and I find myself thinking about him a lot and sometimes it does make me sad and unhappy. It makes me feel like I'm becoming dependent on him for happiness which I really don't like. It's not like I'm sad all of the time when I can't see him. I do a lot of fun things on my own and with friends and do experience a lot of internal happiness but I just know if he wasn't in my life I would be so sad and I would miss him so much. I am feeling myself getting attached. Is it normal to feel this way? I'm 21 and so is he but this is both of our first relationships. I don't want to feel like I need him in my life to be happy but it's starting to feel that way. We've known each other for a year and had feelings for each other for a long time before we started dating and we've already told each other that we love each other. And I really do love him. I guess I'm getting a little worried about how attached I've become and how I could potentially get really hurt in the future. We talk every day and a part of me wants to let him know that I need a few days to think and not talk to him but I really don't want to confuse him or upset him by asking that. I just feel like I need to put some distance between us to make sure I can still be happy on my own.
TL;DR: | How can I stop deriving a lot of my happiness from my relationship? Is it normal for me to feel the way that I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not having enough sex.
POST: Wednesday night last week I had a date. I was pretty excited - because of other work and life priorities, I hadn't had a date in a while. We met at the bar and he was quirky and fun - we really hit it off. The date ended, he came back to my place and we started fooling around. This was especially great, because on top of not dating, I hadn't had sex in about 7 months.
One thing leads to another and he's doing me from behind. All of a sudden, he slows down and says "You're really bleeding... like... a lot". I'm confused because it was way too early for my period. I put my hand down below and when I look at it, it's completely covered in bright red blood and more is dripping out onto the sheets. I turn around and look at him and his horrified face. His dick is dark red... covered in my blood.
I jump up mortified and led him to the shower. He was really concerned that he had hurt me. So I had to awkwardly explain that I hadn't had sex in so long that I'd basically re-virginized myself and he had punched my Vcard.
TL;DR: | I hadn't had sex in so long, I awkwardly bled all over my date like a virgin on her wedding night. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Which planner should I hire?
POST: I'm hiring a wedding planner for day-of coordination and have narrowed my list down to two, who offer the same services. While I've been weighing all the pros and cons, I'd love to hear r/weddingplanning's thoughts too as I'm kind of stuck.
Here's some info that might be helpful:
My wedding venue is an all-in-one. The ceremony will take place on the front lawn of the event center, cocktail hour on the terrace and reception inside. We are expecting about 75 guests. Food, drink and cake will all be catered by the venue. Overall our wedding is fairly simple - no extravagant details or anything too out of the ordinary, other than possibly having a gourmet ice cream truck. I am currently unemployed and have plenty of time to spend on planning our wedding. Most importantly, we are on a serious budget.
Planner A:
She's just starting her own business after several years working as an on-site coordinator for another venue. We also have good chemistry. She has created a Pinterest board for me with some fun ideas, but in our meetings so far, she hasn't made any suggestions for vendors or other wedding ideas. As one of her first customers she's offering me 50% off her normal package price, which is a HUGE savings and will run about $800.
Planner B:
She has had her own company for quite some time and seems very experienced. In our meetings she had already made many vendor suggestions and has given me some fun ideas for the wedding. We also have good chemistry on a personal level. While her price is also extremely reasonable, it's about 50% more than the first one.
TL;DR: | Is it worth saving money by hiring a somewhat inexperienced coordinator, since I consider our wedding fairly "simple" and won't need a lot of help anyway. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] Looked at boyfriend's phone pics against better judgement. Founds nudes of much more fit ex, not sure how to react if at all. Is it worth saying anything?
POST: [Original Post Here](
I saw him last night, first time since "the incident." I decided not to say anything as we were both in a relatively good mood and it wasn't bothering me at the time. I still haven't decided whether I'll even bother mentioning anything, I don't know. I figure as long as I feel okay, there's not much of a point unless I suddenly started seeing other issues pop up.
I guess the one thing that should have bothered me was, I was standing behind him rubbing his shoulders while he was on Facebook. He was in his messages, and I saw that he and her had exchanged a message in February. I rarely use FB messaging so I had no way to tell if she sent it to him or vice versa, and I don't know that a whole conversation even took place or what. I could see it was just a link so whatever, maybe it was just a funny picture or something. I felt a twinge when I saw it at first, but I just took a breath, hugged him, and put it out of mind. I didn't ask about it, I didn't try and snoop, no part of me even had the desire.
I actually didn't even think about it again until I logged in to do this update. We had a fun night, cuddles all night, and a great "morning session" before work. That was all with *me*, not her, and that's the point isn't it?
Maybe that makes me naive, but if I'm happy, I'm not sure I care.
TL;DR: | Didn't say anything to bf, had a good night and feel awesome even if I found out he does still communicate with "her."* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(18M) am in a love triangle with a (18F) and (21M)
POST: I(18M) am in a love triangle. A little back story here, we were dating 8 months, then her(18F) ex(21M) who broke her heart, came back and said he loved her. She dumped me and got back with him, moved in and everything. She says she is in love with me, but loves him.
She visits me around 3 times a week, and we make love around 4-5 times every time. She says she is not intimate with him, and that he is more like a companion to her. I love her, unlike i have ever loved anyone in my life. I would do anything to make her happy. My question is, what do i do? Do i wait for her to break up with him and continue the cheating, or should i move on, and if we are both single at a later point, try to rekindle it, and if i should move on, how do i do it? I am at a loss. I dont know what to do, and i hope you guys can help.
TL;DR: | I am in love with a girl, who says she loves me too, but she is dating another guy. What do i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] someone I just met [16 F] 5 days, How do I get someone to not like me
POST: One day at work I was approached by a woman and her daughter. The polite lady must've liked me because she came back the next day and asked if I was interested in her daughter.
Me being young and naive, I saw a pretty face and said yes. Now we exchange numbers and text pretty much all day and even have a 2 hour long phone call.
The next day we then go to the movies and I put my arm around her, that's it. We didn't kiss or anything. We hung out and talked a little more after the movie and on the way home we held hands.
Fast forward two days and we still text a lot (more from her side than me) and we had one other phone call. I realize I'm not so in to her as I thought I would be. I believe I may have rushed into this due to the fact that my ex-girlfriend just broke up with me.
She's really into me is the problem. She keeps saying how she wishes I was there. That I should sneak into her house through the window or she wants to hang out every day she can etc. My problem is I want to end it before it begins. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want this to drag any longer.
TL;DR: | This girl is really into me after about 5 days and I have no intention of staying with her. How to "break" up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my online friend [23 F] of 5 months. I have my first date Monday and I am way out of my depth.
POST: A little bit of background about me. I'm a pretty big Nerd, I play a lot of video games, I read a lot, and I'm really into the sciences. I also have a really strong sex drive, despite being a virgin.
---
In July out of my sexual frustration I posted a craigslist ad proposing that I provide cunnilingus based services for a female of my age. I had this ad on craigslist for about a week before she replied. Her reply e-mail was blank at first to which I responded with a simple "?". We exchanged pictures and started talking on kik to organize a date to go down. Obviously, me being a social mess I didn't immediately coordinate a date and beat around the bush way to often to the point where both our schedules basically couldn't allow it for it to go down.
---
She went to England for law school in september and that was the last I heard from her until a week ago where she e-mailed me again saying that she had moved there and her kik was no longer working but she could see the 1 message I had left since she went for school.
---
We started talking over whatsapp at that point (her kik wasn't working) and then she finally makes the first move. She suggests we should hang out some time and that we go to lunch. I'm picking her up from her place and we're going to go somewhere except I've never been on a date before in my life and she sounds like she wants me to make good on my craigslist add so on top of never going on a date I've never gone on a date with a chance of it turning into something more sexual so I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. As far as I can tell I'm a boy-toy and I'm okay with that but I don't want to ruin this.
TL;DR: | Met a girl online in summer, lost touch. She's back and wants to go out, possibly have sex. I've never had sex let alone dated/ What should I do to get optimal ending?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23m] I am in a slowly drowning relationship, help me get us back on track
POST: I am a 23 year old male living in southeast Europe, in a relationship with a 20 year old girl. We are together for two and a half years and have been really close friends before being a couple for about 2 years. She moved to a bigger town to study science and I followed her, found a job and we are living together since March this year. The first two or three months were absolutely terrific, we got along great, the sex was awesome, everything was working out. But then something happened to us, I do not know why, but she got bored from having sex, stopped feeling the need for it. At first it bothered me that when I try to initiate she turned me down, but after thousand of turndowns I kind of made my peace with not having sex for now. At first I thought it was because she gained some weight, we are going to the gym for a month and a half now, she lost a few pounds but nothing has changed. To make things worse, I work at an outsourcing company and we are having really bad work hours so I have about 4 hours of free time every day. It is really hard squeezing everything into this timeframe and both of us are not satisfied with that amount of time but I can not change my job easily since jobs here are kind of hard to find, my job is payed very good, and without working for a month or two I would be broke and have to move back home to my parents, which is a 6 Hour drive from where I am currently so it would become a long distance relationship which would suck and break down quickly. I have a bad feeling that I can not give her everything she wants in order to be happy. On top of that, I am not a very talkative person and find it hard to start a discussion, we talk things through after they escalate and one of us (mostly her) gets mad.I just want to turn things back they were. Please reddit, share some of your wisdom with me. How do i get her back to being the loving and happy person she was?
TL;DR: | Long time girlfriend not satisfied with my long working hours, lost her libido, everything is slowly going to hell. Help me turn it around. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 33/m with 32/f for 1 year - She talks to her ex frequently, and he hits on her often. It bothers me, but should it?
POST: My girlfriend calls her ex often and has gone out with him to movies, lunch, etc... over the past year, basically ever since I've known her. She says it's harmless and she is just trying to remain friends with him, but he constantly hits on her and tells her things like when the last time he jerked off was and how she shouldn't see him if she doesn't want to be intimate, and asked her to come over and "just snuggle, keeping our clothes on." She told me he also tried to reach over and make a move on her in the car when she went to the movies with him.
I've told her it makes me extremely uncomfortable for her to continue to have contact with him (just like she would feel if a girl was doing this to me and I continued to contact her often), but she seems to need/want this contact so much that she won't stop even if I ask her to. She says I should trust her, but my gut says that this is mentally unhealthy and borderline emotional cheating to keep in contact just for her to hear him pine away after her. It seems like just a bad situation for her to be in, like if I tried to be friends with a girl that constantly makes advances towards me, but I tell my gf to trust me and that I would never do anything even if we were fighting and I had a bad day, etc... it seems like a recovering alcoholic that continually goes to the bar just to hang out...just a bad idea.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | GF still has contact with her ex who is pining after her and making inappropriate comments and advances, but she still won't cut contact. Am I right in feeling like this should have ended a long time ago? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [M19] am having major indecision over a crucial life directing decision. I need advice!
POST: I have been dating, let's call her Amy, for just over a month. She will be leaving for her freshman year of college in a month. I am Mormon - though I have not lived a very Mormon life - and so is she. As of a month I was in the course to serve my mission in Argentina for two years. Amy was aware of this and we were both well aware of the potential difficulties with that. But as of last week I found out that I am not going, due to some moral issues that arrived. Upon this I felt like I should tell Amy that I am not a virgin (a huge deal for Mormons). She was understanding and forgave me and we figured things out. But simultaneously I had to to make a lot of very big decisions very quick: getting a place to live, getting into school, etc. We decided that I would move down near her and go to a junior college near her university.
Here is my problem: I want to want to go down and be with her, but the past year and a half I was living a very different lifestyle that I loved. I went to concerts all the time, I lived for music festivals and raves, and I used drugs (fairly wisely) throughout the course of such. I didn't really go to church and lived a very different lifestyle than the one I have planned right now, and I loved it. Amy does not approve of this lifestyle but it's in my past and I'm not involved with it currently so she isn't worried about it. I could go down to school with her and push myself through adapting to a more mundane lifestyle, which wouldn't be that bad; or I can move in with a good friend and continue my more riotous lifestyle except with school as a high priority. But I would have to leave Amy.
TL;DR: | The music festivals, raves, and drugs that I love - or the girl I have fallen head over heels for. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] met girl [27 F]. I feel a bit intimidated, how can I not be?
POST: Currently living in Germany, met a German girl who I feel I really hit it off with, and everything was fine, until I found out she was an anesthesiologist. For some reason, I felt very intimidated with her profession. I know this is dumb, but it still feels odd. I got her number and was still able to get a date? meeting? coffee? don't really know what it is.
I am a successful R&D engineer, and know I shouldn't feel that way, but for some reason I do. For some reason after finding out her profession, it felt like she was out of my league, but prior to that I didn't feel at all.
How should I approach her?
TL;DR: | Met girl, 27, me, also 27, hit it off quite well, got her number and everything, and everything was fine until I found she was an anesthesiologist. Was suddenly frozen in place. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking a "study aid"
POST: I'm finishing up my last semester in college and in my job search I lined up an awesome job with an ideal company.
I have everything set up perfectly and just need to finish the semester strong! Well with finals on the horizon and projects wrapping up, I was struggling to stay focused. A friend saw that I needed a boost and offered a small pill of Vyvanse, he assured me that it wouldn't have side effects and that it would help my studies.
Well I pulled the all nights and aced everything I needed to ace for that day when I realized, this ideal job I have lined probably does some sort of drug testing...
I scramble to my computer and research both the drug and the job.
Both worse case scenarios are true. The drug (similar to adderall) metabolizes as AMPHETAMINE and the job uses a hair sample test that accurately tests for amphetamine and other drugs and can test up to 90 days in the past. My drug test is in less than 2 months.
So in a stupid attempt to finish my studies strong, i just threw out my best job opportunity.
TL;DR: | Took a vyvanse, didn't realize it shows up as Amphetamine in a drug test. Threw out a perfect future job opportunity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my [32 F] duration have been dating for 6 months, unsure whether to continue with this
POST: I met this 32f who is now my girlfriend through online dating. At first it wasn't meant to be anything after we first met, but it progressed and we eventually started dating.
She is great and we connect on a lot of things, but at the same time we are quite different in terms of interests. I have yet to meet her friends, but from the sounds of it we are quite different in terms of our interests (her included). Our similarities include our personality and our points of views on a lot of topics so we can always have a good conversation.
The issue seems to be that I prefer to be more of a homebody while she likes to party and go out, not to say that we don't have fun at home. Another issue seems to be her 1 yr old son who she has w/ her ex husband. Not sure how I feel about all this. Any advice?
TL;DR: | I have been dating an older woman for the past 6 months, she has been married and is now divorced. She has a ~1yr old kid. She's great, but not sure whether or not to continue on with relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (34M) girlfriend (32F) won't move in with me without a ring.
POST: My gf and I have been together a little over a year. Neither of us has ever been married. The last guy she dated seriously proposed to her when they were already living together, and she turned him down for a variety of reasons (she hasn't told me all of them, but I gather that he took advantage of her financially and she didn't feel like he really wanted to marry her, but was proposing just because he felt like he should).
She lives about 30 minutes from me and works another 20 minutes beyond that. If we moved to a location that was about halfway between her place and mine each of our commutes would be about 25 minutes. I really want us to live together. Right now we spend about four nights together each week, but that's not enough for me. I really love her and want us to share our lives.
The only problem is this: after her previous experience of having to separate all her stuff from another person's, she doesn't want to move in together until we are engaged. That's not necessarily a problem for me, as I want to propose when I'm ready (mostly I want to finish saving for and order the custom ring she likes). I don't really feel like we need to live together before we get engaged. I'm just not quite ready yet. But I want us to move in together sooner than that, partially because both our leases are up in August (I know, not a good reason). She says this is a "dealbreaker" for her.
Is it unreasonable for me to want to move in with a promise to get engaged within the next six months or so? I'm just looking for an outside perspective on this. We're at an impasse.
TL;DR: | gf won't move in without an actual engagement. I am not quite financially ready to propose but want to move in with a promise of an engagement soon. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Alright, maybe I have found a subreddit where I can post pointless things about my life!
POST: What I have to tell all of you has no other home, or at least no other home that I know about. So I searched for like two seconds and found this subreddit. I have had three jobs with AAFES (Army Air Force Exchange Service.) They run the BX/PX, the Shoppettes (which are about to be called Expresses if not already), and the restaurants. Anyways, when I applied for a job there I did not have my social security card which they said I needed. I went to the social security office and they game me a piece of paper saying that this name has this SSN. Along the edges it said something like, "CANNOT BE USED FOR EMPLOYMENT" in small print repeated. I told them that was all I could get and they it was okay. They also never drug tested. When I quit there for another job at a small, locally owned business they had to have my physical card and I was drug tested. To me it would seem like the procedures would be reversed.
TL;DR: | Employed by a large corporation that provides services to the military with just a paper with my SSN and no drug test. Applied to a smaller local job that had to have the SS card and drug tested. Seems backwards. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] just asked a girl I've recently been crushing on to prom [17 F], she said yes and seemed excited at first, but now ignores me..
POST: Recently this girl and I have been talking a lot more than in times past. We would go for walks together at lunch, and would usually talk at least once a day. For a while it seemed like we were really hitting it off, so I did something I've never done before and initiated something with a girl entirely by myself. I asked her to prom while we were both alone and gave her a rose, she seemed really excited and didn't hesitate to tell her friends and put my arm around her for pictures right after the promposal. I think it was pretty obvious that I asked her to prom not solely as a friend. Everything great right? ..Well now (beginning the following Monday after Friday's promposal until Wednesday) she has ignored me. We don't talk or hit it off the way we were before, and she seems to spend her time talking to other people even in my immediate presence. Today I was even 5 feet away from her getting in my car to leave school and she didn't say a single word to me as she walked by.
Does this mean she wants to make it clear that we aren't "a thing"? Is she trying to make it known that she only likes me as a friend and now feels uncomfortable when I talk to or sit next to her?
Should I try harder to talk to her more? Maybe ask her out for dinner? Or should I just give up and leave her alone until prom?
TL;DR: | Asked a girl to prom, she said yes and was excited, but now ignores me. What do I do reddit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: New cat owner here with some questions/concerns (x-post from /r/cats)
POST: Okay so a few months ago I rescued a female cat from outside my house, we named her Milkshake, and when we took her to the humane society they said she was 6-7 months old (currently). She is a sweetheart but is more aggressive than nice most of the time. She hates getting picked up and she gets extremely hyper most of the time (fluffed tail, crab walking, dashing in and out of rooms).
I was hoping her mood would change when she gets spayed after I get her vaccinated (she's currently on medication to get rid of some parasites). Will she always stay aggressive? It breaks my heart because my sisters want a nice pet but she's just so mean to everyone when it's not me interacting with her. Will she grow out of it? This is my first time owning a cat.
A week ago a friend of mine rescued a cat, named him Ronan, but was unable to keep him. We were told he was 2 1/2 months old when we took him to the humane society a week ago. I'm trying to introduce both of them, but not all the way because they both don't have their vaccinations. I had them separated, and they got used to each other by pawing with each other under the door, but when I have them in the same room, Milkshake (older cat) follows the younger cat tentatively around, super super cautiously, while the younger cat does as he pleases. When they are closer together with nowhere to run, Milkshake starts hissing and when I try to pick her up she freaks out and starts clawing.
Is there a better way to introduce them? Is my older cats personality just too mean for her to have a second cat in the house?
TL;DR: | = Have an older cat super aggressive, not spayed yet, will she get better? Have a younger cat trying to introduce into house, but older cat is not playing nice, what do? |
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