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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] don't know how to proceed with these two girls.
POST: I'm a straight guy, and there's two girls I'm talking to right now, but there are problems with both that I don't know how to deal with.
**Girl A [18]:**
* Very kind
* Attractive
* Interested in me
* We have a class together and have studied with her a few times
* Problem is, I'm not attracted to her
**Girl B [18]:**
* Very kind
* Attractive
* Great sense of humor
* Similar interests
* Talented
* Problem 1 - There's an ocean between us
* Problem 2 - She's lesbian
Normally, I can "turn off" my feelings for someone that I cannot be with (best friend's girlfriend, lesbians, people geographically undesirable, etc), but for some reason, Girl B has just smitten me.
Girl A is great, but with Valentines day coming up, I think she wants me to ask her out. I don't want to string her along, and I don't want to hurt her, so I'm trying to let her down easy, but I haven't had much experience with girls "pursuing" me.
I can provide more details, but I'm not sure what else would be relevant or that I would feel comfortable posting.
TL;DR: | I like a lesbian girl half a world away, even though there's a girl here that's interested in me. How do I get over my feelings for the one, and let the other down easy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30 M] can't delete this stupid crush I have on a married co-worker [30 F]
POST: I work and have to see her every day. We aren't just co-workers, but friends. We have hung out together outside of work, but I have never initiated and have flaked as many times as possible without coming off as if I'm actively trying *not* to be her friend. Our cubes are right next to each other. I'm doing everything I can to avoid any unnecessary contact with her - I've stopped eating lunch with a lot of co-workers just so I can avoid her.
But since I am her lead, I constantly have to brainstorm with her and we have to work closely together. We are in a very technical line of work, and impromptu discussions are frequent and necessary, and I am her go-to person for that. On top of all this, she genuinely considers me to be a great friend and likes to talk to me whenever possible.
I don't want to quit my job - I really really love what I do and can't ask for better managers and co-workers.
She has made comments related to my attractiveness before. Whether she reciprocates my feelings or not - I don't give a shit because I'm not going to be 'that' guy.
But I just can't shake this feeling. I don't know what else I can fucking do.
TL;DR: | Need to delete a crush I see every day, who is not just a co-worker but also a friend. I don't know why I just can't do it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Just when I thought everything was great! I, [24/F], found my unofficial 3mo, [28/M], on another dating site. Where to go from here?
POST: It's been unofficially three months of dating a [28/M] and before this I was blissfully happy [24/F]. Until I find that the guy I've been spending LOTS of time and sleeping with is on other dating sites and looking for hookups.
I know it looks like a double standard and that I'm looking at dating sites, but in this case it was by accident, and I wish I could go back and make it unseen. I know it's new and we have yet to have "the talk" but is it worth continuing when being with me is not enough? I'd like to think I'm of value and have some self worth.
I felt like this might have been someone I could be with for a long time and now I'm just not so sure. Clearly this is an open relationship to him and I'm unaware. I truly believe it would be easier to walk away if I didn't feel so ashamed. Now I feel like I want to make it work to in order myself feel better. Also, is it a good idea to confront him?
TL;DR: | Girl finds new guy's dating profiles for one night stands; not sure if to continue to date or let him go/confront him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [16/m] doesn't know if my girlfriend [16/f] is that into me.
POST: Ok, so I've been going out with a girl for a few months (4 months). I use the term going out very lightly, we don't see each other all that much and the relationship is going pretty slowly (I haven't kissed her, but I've held her hand and put my arm around her, stuff like that). So anyway, my predicament is that I don't know if she likes me that much, our relationship is pretty casual even though it's been going on for a while. I'm crazy about this girl, but i don't know if she feels the same way, like I said before we don't see each other all that often, I try to set things up often enough but a lot of times when I do she either doesn't reply to me or she is always busy doing something else. I might just be nervous and over thinking things (she is more attractive than me, but apparently she thinks I'm funny) but I don't know. What do you guys think, is there something I should do. Also, do you think I should try to get more serious with the smoochin' and the like? I don't want to go for that when I'm not even sure if she likes me...
.
TL;DR: | I don't see my GF a lot and she often doesn't reply to my texts or is busy when I try to set up dates, is this a sign that she's not into me as much as I'm into her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think my [24/m] gf [22/f] maybe cheating or something, not sure what to make of how she's been acting
POST: My gf and I have been together about 4 months and everything has been great up until this week. It's gotten better after we talked about it but my gut is still feeling like Im missing something.
It started out with not talking much, slow responses to texts during the day and she works as a receptionist and helps people find things so I get that she cant be on her phone all the time, but it's never been an issue before. We've not had sex in over a week but that may be partly due to my fault because I wouldnt stay at her house last week because I had some difficulty sleeping due to back problem. We still kiss, play and laugh//joke with each other but something is off and I dont know if I'm reading to much in to it.
I finally brought it up after I found a note on her car one morning saying "im sorry for how things ended, I feel really bad. you know who this is, txt me." Now she told me she had a stalker not to long ago so me being the boyfriend took it upson myself to message this number and see whats up. It was a guy who said some things happened a few months back and he felt bad. He didnt go in to specifics but I just asked to tell me as a man if anything was going on and he swore it wasnt anything like that.
I gave my gf the note after bringing it up and she said she didnt recognize the # and it wasnt in her phone. She then explained she had been acting weird because she was trying to keep my party stuff a secret. Now I dont know if that's a good excuse but my bday is coming up and I know she planned something but not sure what. Things are still good between us, I've been sleeping over there all the week, still haven't had sex but she'll mess with me stuff, kiss, tell me she loves me, etc so not sure how to go from here.
TL;DR: | gf is acting strange, not sure why but my gut tells me something is going on. I don't want to make any hasty decisions and end something with no evidence. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I really need your help here
POST: The company I work for has created a bank account in my name, without consulting me, and without giving me any information on the account, and I've now been told that my next paycheck will be deposited into that account instead of my own.
I've been working for a major video rental store for a few months now, and when I first started I had signed up for direct deposit of my paychecks into my bank account, being told it would take 2 weeks to go through. Fast forward 2 months and it still hasn't processed; I re-turn in my info and wait again. The manager hands me back my paperwork telling me it's no longer needed.
Then about a month ago (The direct deposit still hasn't been activated at this point) I'm told it's mandatory for me to be signed up for direct deposit; I turn in my original paperwork for a third time and am told it's taken care of.
Today, I received a letter in the mail containing a bank card that I have never signed up, let along heard anything about. I contact my manager and she laughs and says something must have gone wrong, but she is too busy to help me for a few days. She also tells me my next paycheck will be deposited to that account and theres nothing I can do about it.
What the hell do I do here? I did not authorize them to open ANYthing in my name, let alone start an account with all my info.
TL;DR: | The company I work for has created an unauthorized bank account in my name, and have basically told me "Too bad, your money is going there." |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22,m] got my girlfriend [f, 21] angry at me by trying to understand her better.
POST: My girl is in the ROTC program at school and has to wake up 4 times a week at around 5 am. we usually sleep together but before going to bed I told her I wanted to get up with her instead of just going back to sleep after she left. I felt like I didn't understand what her day is like since she's always back working or napping by the time I wake up. I wanted to share this kind of experience with her this morning and feel what she feels most days.
that's when she told me I was being stupid. She got kind of defensive and said I'm only going to make myself sick or completely tired and won't be able to function later. I explained to her that it was something I was doing for me, not for her. She seemed kind of insulted by the whole thing and left without saying goodbye, kissing me, hugging me, or really just telling me she'll see me later, which are things she ALWAYS does up till now.
TL;DR: | Woke up early with my army girlfriend to try to understand her long days better. She got defensive and left as if agitated or pissed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] Feels like my relationship with my gf [18/f] is fading and falling apart.
POST: So I've been together with my gf for 5 months now, and I took her to her first festival. I drank quite a lot and I lost her for the entire festival. I felt like shit and every time I found her she would get lost again, or when I went to get beer, she walked away pissed because I didn't say anything.
This ended with me crying (I'm not a crier) in bed, and her taking all the blame.
Afterwards I felt bad so I talked to her and we made up yesterday.
We lied in bed together for a few hours and it felt right again, but yesterday night I went to a get together at a friends house, and I was again intoxicated.
I chilled with her for half an hour, but after that she started dancing with a girl and they ended up spending the evening together kissing in the hallway.
Now we talked about her wanting to kiss another girl for her bucket list, but I felt alone.
I tried to get her attention 3 times but she was in an entire different world, so I gave up.
We biked home and I broke down again, not getting how she would leave me for a random hookup with a chick after we just made up a few hours ago.
It was fucked, we were both crying again and I took the blame this time, telling her I was drunk and just being a dick.
I am not a relationship kind of guy, and I don't want to keep getting hurt, but she is so emotionally fragile that I'm scared to break up.
I still love her too..
TL;DR: | Relationship problems, felt like they were solved. Gf hooked up with a random chick the same night and I felt alone. Feel like I'm losing motivation to stay with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend's parents want to sit me down and teach me about sexual safety.
POST: Boyfriend M18 and I F15 have been together for 10 months now and sex has always been prominent in our relationship. Neither of our parents were told about this. I have visited clinic and I am on the pill, and have been for several months.
Today my boyfriend told me that his dad basically told him that we were ok to have sex at his house so long as we are safe, and that he wants to sit us both down and talk about safety.
I am absolutely furious about this, not at my boyfriend but at his father. I am safe and I have been for a while. I know how to take care of myself, and it is a discussion I have had many times with my parents.
Is it odd that I am this angry? I feel that my safety is my business and my boyfriends parents have no right to start telling me what to do. I feel that by all means, they should discuss it with him, but my personal health and safety is a topic left entirely to me. I have known these people for less than a year and while I trust boyfriend to the grave I do not have that trust with his parents.
TL;DR: | boyfriends parent want to have the sex talk with me and I'm extremely pissed because I think it's my business. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [Help] Seemlingly unsolvable dermatitis problem for dog
POST: To give a brief background, around the beginning of the year our Shiba Inu had some yeast and bacteria infections. It was nothing major-- we just had to wash him twice a week with some shampoos and that would be that, and it certainly was going very well.
But then I went to college, and when I come back home for labor day, it got way worse. His butt and his groin area was bare and had scabs. His back left paw has no hair, looks pink and infected, and his front left paw had a toe cyst. Several other spots are fleshy, pink, and scabbed as well. When I went to the doctor, they just gave me (i.e. my parents) some spray to put on him twice a day for two weeks, but the smartest thing to do would be to take him to a specialist since his condition had developed farther than they could treat, but even that wouldn't be a guarantee for a proper diagnosis. After some great debate with the parents, it really is ultimately their money that is being spent, and after a year of bills from the dog it's getting to be burdensome. And so I left home, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this spray would work.
Unsurprisingly, he got worse. His toe cyst grew to the size of a dime, his ear started to lose some hair and get some scabs; everything else was still pink, fleshy and scabbed. And by now he just about never moves, either because it's too painful or he's too depressed (his tail is seldom up anymore, which is quite sad).
It kills me that I can't take care of him while I'm at college, and kills me more to see him in this state. And I'm not sure if my parents would be able to be consistent in any treatment. So I'm just feeling quite despaired currently.
TL;DR: | Dog has skin condition, I go to college. I come back to see his skin getting worse, but parents are unlikely to do anything about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Help Me...
POST: Hello, reddit. I'm here asking the simple question of what should I do. Here the situation I'm in: Okay I'm 15 and have been talking to this girl the same age as me for about a month. We both flirt pretty hard. The only reason we aren't dating is because we haven't hung out enough in my mind, but we both really like eachother. So the problem is she recently went behind my back and dates some dude. It's weird though she only dated him a day. Technically we aren't dating so I'm not sure if I should be mad or not, but I am. Here's what makes me really mad. When I confronted her about it she lied to me and claimed she didn't like him at all. I went off on her and she seemed just as upset as me afterwards (which I'm not proud of). This same girl has said she loved me, but still dated this piece of shit guy over me.
TL;DR: | the basis is, a girl I'm not dating, but admittedly likes me, dated another guy for a day then lied to me about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] have been distancing myself from a good friend [22F] because I have feelings for her. How should I tell her about this?
POST: Basically, I've fallen for a friend of mine and haven't really been able to get over it. I don't have any reason to believe she feels the same way, and in fact I think she's casually dating someone else.
I haven't really been talking to her much for the past couple of months, and I feel bad about that. I don't want her to think I'm mad at her and also don't want to make her feel uncomfortable by dumping all of my feelings on her. I don't want to lose such a good friend, but I feel like that will happen after we graduate if I don't say anything. How should I handle this situation?
TL;DR: | How do I tell my friend that my unrequited feelings for her are why I haven't been talking to her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I done fucked up with a female I really care about. I need something to blow her away. HALP!
POST: So last night I was kind of drunk and when we were back at the girl-I'm-seeing's place I said something that really pissed her off. I am 21 and she is 20, and we are both in college. She was widowed about a year ago through a tragic accident, and I'm still trying to get to know about her late husband. I find it's pretty important information to try and establish a real relationship with her. Well, anyhow, I said something about his line of work (he was a mercenary with blackwater) that was really really dumb. Now she's super pissed at me and I'm pretty sure all of her friends want me dead. I desperately need something to redeem this and really take her breath away.
TL;DR: | I said something bad about my gf's late husband of about a year ago. I need something to let her know I fucked up but I still care about her, and to make sure her friends don't kill me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling my girlfriend her eating habits are not the most beautiful ones
POST: So I and my girlfriend have been seeing each other just for a month or so, all things have went fantastically fine and the chemistry between us is just amazing. We talked about what people behaviours irritates each other, when the conversation lead to question if there are some things that has been irritating me in her. I said that of course there are but those are not the things that must be shared to other person - after all, things that irritates you are, in most cases, just one's personal opinions, not the things that are wrong in other person.
I tried to keep my thoughts inside my me, but she wanted to know what is THE thing that itches my head about her. I knew it would not be very nice thing to say and it will affect to her, us and our relationship - for an unknown time period.
I tried to seek nice words and how to tell this to her, but after some mumbling and awkward moments, I heard myself saying:
> You eating, it is not the most beautiful thing to watch
You can imagine how my tries to soften my words did not help the situation that much and did not wipe off what I had just said. It felt like someone had just poured baskets of cold water between us and like there was some very tight rim around my head. Rest of the night was, well, after a great weekend, not that great.
After all, we are still talking, we are still having fun and still interested in each other - but the anxiety that came along with the topic will follow us for some time, it is sure.
TL;DR: | Said my girlfriend watching her eating is not the most beautiful thing, led the awkwardness in our relationship, and maybe I am laughing for this some day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my ex [16 F] dated for about 16 months. I miss her so much.
POST: That's pretty much it. I was in a LDR for ~16 months and we talked every day. We both fell in love after a few months and we shared every part of our lives with each other. A month ago, she told me she had been unhappy for a while and she broke up with me.
I really wanted a life with her. We made each other so happy. The happiest I've ever been in my life. I was so deeply in love with her and for a long time, she was in love with me too.
She really tried to stress that it wasn't me and that *her* feelings are what's changed, but I feel so worthless and unloved. I just want someone to cry on. Hugs or cuddles or something, I don't know.
I can't go to any friends with this because I drifted away from them while I was dating her, and was not at all there for my best friend when he needed me. I was a dick and am just glad he still hangs out with me. Though I can tell we will never be as close as we were growing up because of how I treated him.
I'd pretty much started trying to ease out the things in my life I was emotionally attached to, coming to terms with the fact I would be on the other side of the world soon (to be with her). I think that probably put too much pressure on her to make me happy. Either way, the end result is a feeling of complete loneliness.
How do I cope? Venting to Reddit calmed me down this time, but what do I do next time I wake up and she's the first thing on my mind? There are so many wonderful memories we shared that keep surfacing and it's just so painful to think that we won't be making any more of them.
TL;DR: | How do I get over my ex? I still love her so much, and I can't stand life without her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I keep a "friend" relationship with a girl I had a crush on?
POST: I'm a 21 year old (male) college student now and I've had a crush on this girl, 'LZ' since the 7th grade. Back then I wasn't exactly confident around girls though I somehow ended up being friends with the girl I had a crush on. We're now close friends and I still find myself strongly attracted to her. Although I've never really been in a relationship (I believe in committed relationships, somethings I haven't considered possible yet) but now I'm more open and brash with girls. I'm actually afraid I might come off as a douche and fuck up our friendship (something that I don't want to lose) because I'm still attracted to her. I don't think I can move beyond being a friend to her but the least I can do is be her friend. What can I do to keep our friendship intact?
TL;DR: | I've had a 10 year crush on a girl, we're close friends, and I don't want to fuck up our friendship because I'm still attracted to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Have I [18m] blown my chance with this girl [18f]?
POST: So I met this amazing and gorgeous girl at a summer camp in my junior year, got a big crush on her, and ended up getting her number before the week was out. She lived in a town a decent distance from where I lived, however, and after texting her for a couple months, we eventually lost touch.
This year I found out she is going to the same college as I am, and at the beginning of last semester I actually got to meet up with her and a few of her friends for a couple hours at a party, and that was great. I feel like I was completely natural around her and she seemed to be having fun. Unfortunately, I ended up having a rather busy and stressful semester so I didn't to get to see or talk to her again aside from the stray text message or snapchat here and there. She is in a completely different major and lives off campus, so I've never run into her walking to class or at big events. I sent her a couple of typical holiday snapchats a few weeks ago and she replied to both of them, so I think we're still on good terms.
My biggest problem right now is that I finally understand how all this dating stuff is supposed to work (lets just say i'm a little lacking on the dating front) and I realize I've not been near forward enough to communicate my feelings to her correctly. So here I am, I still have feelings for her, but I'm most likely barely on her radar because my past communication with her had me trying to be the "nice guy" who didn't bring his true personality to the table. Is it too late for me to start over with her and try to be more communicative and honest with her or is it a lost cause because of my previous actions?
TL;DR: | Tried to be the "nice guy" to a summer camp crush, she's at my college now and I want to start over. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking my friend is a Serial Killer.
POST: My first post.
So this was about a couple of years ago. I'm sometimes pretty much of a crybaby and exaggerate stuff. What happened was my grade was on a trip to a different city.
Lets call my friend "Bill". So Hillary liked Bill (and vice versa), and she took her odds by asking her out. This exchange student which we shall call "Richard", just intercepted Hillary before she asked Bill out, and told Hillary that Bill didn't like Hillary. Because of that, Bill got really sad and tried to start poking holes in himself with random thorns lying around the place we stayed. When I asked him to stop it, he said a bunch of random stuff which a serial killer would say (ex. I want everyone to die), and I, being the person who exaggerated everything, thought that he was going to kill me in my sleep (we shared a room) so I started madly sobbing for about 10 minutes, with everyone trying to calm me down. In the end we got it all okay, but this guy with the same name as me, lets call him "Jake", started telling the story to like a few thousand people, and it made me feel like a huge crybaby.
TL;DR: | Thought my friend was going to be a Serial Killer because he said some weird stuff when trying to cut himself, ended up sobbing for a good 10 minutes and some dude telling the story to everyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by reminding my gf of the fact we had been dating for seven months
POST: So let me begin by saying that this happened today, the day right before prom.
After my morning shower, i thought it'd be a good idea to text my GF (of seven months) "good morning." We started texting back and forth until i recalled that someone mentioned to me the day before that she and I had been dating for just under 7 months. Me, being the smartest guy ever, decided to text that to her and she went silent. after a few minutes without any response, i grabbed my breakfast and left the house to go pick her up. When we made it to the high school, she told me that she needed to talk to me about something. I, being once again, the smartest person, jokingly asked if she was breaking up with me...she was.
Next thing i know she heads inside, leaving my with tears welling up in my eyes in the parking lot. Before she left though, she did say that she wanted to still go to prom (i had already bought two tickets for us and gone through the hassle of finding a tux within a few days notice) as "just friends." After balling my eyes out for the next 5 periods, i made it to lunch where i over react and say she isn't getting a ticket since she had been planning the breakup for a while now (I had bought the tickets late last week so she could have stopped me then). A mutual friend came out and got me to give her the ticket but now i'm still stuck with a $45 prom ticket and a rented tux. Also the only people i know are going are staying in the group that she's hanging out with, so yeah...fun
TL;DR: | i told my GF about our seven month anniversary and she broke up with me, leaving me with two prom tickets and a rented tux the day before the event. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A question about artistic culture and our generation.
POST: I was just wondering about what the internet will do to the creativity of our generation and the culture of America going forward.
Here's my train of thought: It used to be that someone who liked to paint or write or play music would do so in privacy. Only those with drive, lucky opportunity, a ton of work, and the right connections would ever be "discovered" by mass culture and possibly have the opportunity to devote their life to it (i.e. get paid). A painting you made, for instance, hung in your house for only your family and your visitors to see. End of story. Now, pretty much no matter what you create, it's very easy to "show the world" or at least put it somewhere where others *can* see it, regardless of whether or not someone actually looks.
We are a prolifically creative generation: I have an Etsy shop, my big brother and husband have their music on ReverbNation, and my little brother is uploading a novel onto Amazon this week. And, it's the same for a lot of people. The popularity of these sites is just flabbergasting. There is so much being produced.
But is it any good? What are we doing to our culture? Are we making cultural clutter? Does the ability to easily sell or show one's creations inspire us to try harder at our hobbies than we would if it were private? Will we make more awesome culture than other generations or condemn our culture to the mediocrity of hobbyists? Will us hobbyists drown out the potential geniuses of our generation?
TL;DR: | Is art of all sorts on the internet making our culture richer and more amazing or making it cluttered and underwhelming? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Just had to tell someone: my ex is now both a jackass and a fatass. Today was a good day.
POST: I would normally just share this with a friend, but I'm in a time zone 9 hours ahead of where I live and all of my friends are at work (as are most of you redditors, I think).
About a year ago I (finally) stopped seeing this guy who I'd been seeing for 6 or 7 months. The break up was not pretty. He broke my heart and was an asshole about it. 3 or 4 months later, I'd moved on, but he kept trying to drag me back into this space where he could manipulate me for whatever reason. Reddit would approve. I've been ignoring him ever since.
Every month or so, he sends me an email of decent-length about this and that, usually trying to guilt me into talking to him or falling back into our old dialog that always ended with me getting hurt. Today was this month's day. Despite the fact that I generally just delete this email without reading, it usually gets me down for a while that day, just thinking about the way he treated me and the way I allowed myself to be treated while I was with him (Never again, I'll happily add).
Not today! A mutual friend of ours posted pics on facebook of the two of them hanging out at a park (no, the ex and I are not facebook friends... or friends at all). He looks like he ate another person... and then the rest of their family.
Regardless of what is going on in his life, it made me smile on what would normally be a pretty "meh" day, and I had to share.
TL;DR: | Asshole ex boyfriend continues to harass and be a jackass. Facebook reveals that he is now a fucking fatass. I smiled. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Desperately want out of my job, should i forego two weeks notice?
POST: Last November I started a job as a Behaviorist at a day program for behavioral developmental disabled adults. I was to supervise one of the three rooms and run the data collection and plan implementation for the 10 consumers in there.
The majority of the first few months I was on the floor in direct care because of staffing issues. In the spring I started my behavioral duties. The director of behavior services had personal issues with the staff supervisor and program admin; she exacerbated a situation to make it seem like neglect and had them both fired.
SHE'S since been fired after being investigated by QA. The assistant director quit because of ethical concerns with the agency. A staff of about 11 is now down to 5 leaving us severely under ratio. A staff was put in charge and abuses his power by making us work without lunches or breaks, and manipulates client to staff ratio so he doesn't have to do work. There's supposed to be 1 staff for every 3 consumers yet I'm alone in a room with up to 6 or 7.
I emailed the executive director of the company politely complaining how I was not hired to be direct care and how I wasn't getting breaks. She replied saying that my behavioral duties are secondary to ratio and I'm expected to be direct care until we're staffed up. Since then she's fired two more staff leaving us MORE understaffed.
ALSO, there's been three instances when the company couldn't afford to pay us on payday and we had to wait until the following week for paychecks. I was also hired at 40k salaried and was switched to $20.50 hourly. I have an interview today which I'm confident I'll get if the money is good.
So my question to all of you is, if I get this and they say I can start next week.... Would it be bad for me to send a letter ending my employment without the two weeks notice? The two people who I would need references from have since quit and I don't even technically have a boss.
TL;DR: | I work for a horrific company where all leadership was terminated or quit, I don't get paid consistently, and I'm over worked in a position i was not hired for. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help dealing with jealousy and fear.
POST: I've (23M) been dating my GF (25W) for about 7 months and it's the best relationship I've ever had. It's like I'm dating my best friend and dream girl. Problem is the last couple weeks I've been having irrationally jealous feelings about past hookups and simple things like close guy friends that she mentions and guys in public trying to flirt with her all the time.
I immediately identify the feelings as needless, self destructive, and irrational because I completely trust her, but I can't make them stop. I've hooked up with other people and have close girl friends but cannot seem to put myself in her shoes and let it go. The last thing I want is to jeopardize the relationship because of these feelings. I think about it all the time and it's affecting my work and lifestyle. I did not used to feel this way in the slightest and now I feel like it is taking a heavy toll on my health and our relationship.
I almost feel as if these feelings are rooted in not feeling good enough for her. I feel as though she could have her pick of any guy and I don't know why she's settling. I'm worried constantly about needing to prove myself and that she could any day now find a guy and be gone in a second.
Has anyone felt similarly or dealt with feelings like this? I feel immature and irrational and need to make progress in this regard.
TL;DR: | I get jealous over old meaningless hookup stuff and flirting about a girl I'm in love with and I need to get over those feelings before they take a tole on the relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you have a song thought to be a particular artist you thoroughly enjoy, only to discover it's actually by an artist you've never heard (or thought) of?
POST: I'm a fan of Stone Temple Pilots. After being introduced to their music by a friend of mine, I went bought the album "Purple" and "Thank You" (core wasn't in stock at the time). A few months ago, this same friend sent me the song Cumbersome, and it was just really catchy. I really like that song.
I'm kind of particular about my music and how it's organized, if it has the album artwork in my iTunes library, etc... So I Google and wiki search the title and artist hope for the best. Some sites via Google labeled the lyrics as written by STP. Others label it as written by Seven Mary Three. I'd never heard Seven Mary Three before, so I moved on...
Wikipedia turned back nothing relating to the terms I'd entered (and Jimmy Wales was getting to me), so I closed the window and continued browsing Google. Then I saw a Yahoo! Answers article about exactly what I was trying to find out - did STP write that song? No, turns out they didn't. Turns out it was Seven Mary Three, and both bands just happened to sound similar in their early days.
Not like I suffered an identity crisis because of this, but it just feels weird to me when this happens (it's happened a couple times before, this is just the most recent occurrence). Has this ever happened to you? What song and artist? How did you feel?
TL;DR: | I like Stone Temple Pilots. Thought 'Cumbersome' was their song. Turns out it's by Three Mary Seven. Gasp! |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: How do I talk to someone who might be developing an addiction to cocaine?
POST: My (23M) gf (23) has told me from when we first met 9 months ago that she has an addictive personality. About 5 months ago she did cocaine for the first time and found that she liked it a lot. About a month or so after that she told me that she was just then 'finally' starting to lose cravings for it. About 2 months ago she did it again and this time it seemed to be laced with something because her and the people she did it with had some exaggerated reactions and she had an overall bad experience with it. On Halloween she did some again and found that her jittery, uneasy behavior while doing it wasn't anything she liked and told me that she was glad that she had that experience because it confirmed for her some things she had possibly "been in denial about" and she said she wouldn't be doing it again. Not wanting to put too much pressure on her I told her she should take a couple months off from it at least and if a situation arised again after that where she had the opportunity to do it, to consider it then. Last night she went out with her friends and told me she was up all night drinking and doing coke and she "didn't know why."
I'm very concerned and I want to be able to help her as best as possible but I'm not really sure what to say, do, or how to approach it. Any help on the matter from people who've been in similar situations would be much appreciated.
TL;DR: | gf has an addictive personality, has shown cravings and concerning usage of cocaine, need advice on how to talk to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23M] and my Girlfriend [24F] have been together for 2 years. Just recently moved in together and things have changed.
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years now. I'm a full-time employee at the same company where she works at. We met through work a few years ago and everything has been near perfect since then. A few months ago we made the decision to move in together because her lease was running up, and so was mine. So we decided instead of trying to find places for ourselves that we would just move in together. Fast forward and it has been about a month and a half after we moved in and things have changed. Before we moved in together she would come to my place and I would go to her place all the time, we spent a lot of time together. Sex life was great, we went out to do things all the time. She appreciated the little things (random hugs, kisses, notes left behind of refrigerator etc.) Ever since we moved out however those aspects have changed, now that we are together all the time the sex has drastically decreased, and when I asked her about it she said she doesn't know why she doesn't feel the need for it as much as she used to. She used to be so affectionate towards me also, now it's rare for her to grab my hand, or kiss me. Anytime I hint to her that I want to have sex she gets annoyed and blows me off, however whenever she wants it then it's supposed to be okay. I saw her phone the other day and she had been looking up some info on being "asexual". This was the day after the night where I confronted her about it and asked her what was going on. I love my girlfriend to pieces, I just don't know what else to say, I don't want to be too pushy on the subject. So I just want to know what you guys think? I mean we did just move in together literally a month ago, is this normal? Am I over reacting?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend and I recently moved in together, everything that we did before moving in has decreased since we moved in together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (26/m) with my girlfriend of 5 months (22/f) she moved to another state with me and hates it here. What do I do?
POST: Long story short, I got a job offer in Florida. Both our families are in Georgia. When I was interviewing for the job, she told me she'd follow me anywhere. After I was offered, she said I should take it and she'd go with me.
Fast forward two months, we've been living here a month. She got a job working with me at my work (I work at a world famous speedway) but her job is a crappy minimum wage job to help with bills while she figures something out. We are in different departments so we don't see each other.
Her family left for their California vacation today, something she always does with her family. She recently moved back to GA from Cali and always talks about wanting to move back there closer to her family. She's been pretty upset today.
Lately, every day, she's been complaining how much she hates it here and crying every night. She tells me to "leave her the fuck alone" and takes it out on me. I remind her that she was the one who told me I should take the job and she'd go with me, but she just tells me she is angry at herself for being so stupid.
Now, she has no money and relies on me for most things. One time, she told me her plan was to save up enough money and then leave to go back to California and do long distance with me.
I have no idea what to do here. I can't quit my two jobs and move back home. My parents would never look at me the same, and the job I have now is important for my career. I don't have prospects back home as I work in sports which is a limited industry.
My girlfriend literally shuts me out and refuses to talk to me. Yells at me and acts like I don't exist.
I have no idea what to do.
TL;DR: | girlfriend told me to accept a job and that she'd move with me, girlfriend moves and hates it, girlfriend cries all the time, doesn't have money to move herself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] want to ask my crush [ 16 F] out tomorrow on a date that would take place over Easter Weekend
POST: Long story short, my crush Kate seems to like me (two friends have told me so as well) the problem is that before, she asked me out once and I asked her out once but for a personal reason (too long to explain), I couldn't go...
so theses are my questions:
1) Would it be weird to ask Kate out tomorrow on a date that would take place 3 weeks from now? (Easter weekend)
2) I would apologize to her for not following through on my last ask out and tell her quote "I had some personal stuff going on at the time" but tell her that it's all cleared up now...
then At work tomorrow (after school), do you think it would be a good idea to tell my co workers about this girl problem and have Kate hear it but make it obvious to her that it's her? I want to do this so i can indirectly tell her the reason why I stood her up last time...Or would telling her the EXACT reason straight up better? (idk, imo, it would make things awkward)
the reason why I'm doing it is because I'm going to miss the window by this time next week...
thanks
TL;DR: | Would asking a girl out tomorrow on a date that would take place over Easter weekend (three weeks from now) be weird? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[17M] don't always want to be around my girlfriend [17F] of 10 months, am I in the wrong?
POST: To be brief, I have been dating my girlfriend for the past 10 months. I have never been an overly social or outgoing person and consider myself introverted. I do not like going out every day, enjoy my alone time, and need time to myself after doing anything too socially strenuous.
This has caused problems in my relationship in the past and it still is. My girlfriend is a fairly outgoing person and wants to hang out with me.. a lot. I do my best to at least see her every weekend, and we see each other in class and at school virtually everyday, but I still need my time to myself.
Whenever I turn down hanging out with her, she gets extremely hurt and seems to blame it on me not wanting to be with her out of some sort of personal malice, despite my assurances that I simply need some days to myself.
Is it wrong for me to not want to always hang out with her? And if it isn't, is there any way I can help her understand that my personality simply isn't the same as hers and sometimes I need to be by myself?
TL;DR: | I am introverted, my girlfriend is very outgoing and likes to hang out a lot. I can only handle so much of this and she takes offense whenever I don't want to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] brother's [24M] ex-girlfriend is pregnant and he's crushed. How can I get him through this?
POST: This might be long but I would really appreciate the help. A bit of background info:
My brother Josh was dating a girl, Maria [25F], for about 8.5 years. They started dating their sophomore year of high school and broke up last August (2014). She really wanted to get married and have a child, but he wasn't financially ready and had some emotional problems because of the abuse he and I endured from our dad all of our lives. He wanted to wait a bit longer for marriage and children. They ended up breaking up, and she started dating a new guy, Dave, about a month later (September 2014).
Josh, Maria, and Dave all work together in a warehouse environment. They all used to be friends until Maria and Dave [33M] started dating. Now, understandably, Josh hates them both. Josh tries to keep it neutral and ignores any type of contact Maria and Dave try to initiate. From time to time, Maria would try to talk to my brother about how she misses him, dreams about him, etc. My brother has a new girlfriend and hates Maria's guts so he mostly pushes it to the side but he's still really upset at the breakup.
A couple of hours ago, Josh called me and told me Maria is now pregnant with Dave's child. Dave has a previous child with his ex-wife but Josh told me that Maria is just having a baby with him because she's wanted one for so long, since she was with Josh. He's really broken up about it and I'm kind of worried for him.
Josh still lives with my parents, but I moved out two years ago so I can't see him all the time like I used to. My dad is still a piece of shit and emotionally abuses everyone in the household so I feel like it's going to be extra hard on my brother since he doesn't have the best support system at home. I want to make him feel better but I'm not sure what I can do except be there for him.
Does anyone have any advice/experience with this or know someone who has gone through this?
TL;DR: | My brother was dumped last year by his long-term ex girlfriend but she is now pregnant with her new boyfriend's baby. He's very torn up about it but I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27 M] wife [26 F] and I are trying to figure out if we want a joint bank account or separate account. Help us out?
POST: We've been married a year and had a joint bank account for over 3 years. Recently, my wife has brought up that she has always felt guilty for spending money. I make nearly triple what she makes, so I guess that makes sense. But I feel I've always told her she could buy what she wants. We've always had one rule, any purchase over a certain amount and we check with each other.
Recently, she has went through what I call a self empowerment movement. She has expressed feelings of having no control, no power, and no say in the relationship. Especially when it comes to money.
Currently, we pay all the bills out of our joint account. She has expressed a want for separate bank accounts. At first, I hated the idea, but I am trying to wrap my head around it. I was thinking if we had separate accounts, things would be 50/50 and she would just sink cause she couldn't afford that. Then she mentioned doing things based off percentage. I pay 72% of all the bills since I bring in 72% of the income and she pays the other 28%.
It's an interesting concept I had never heard of. She says some other friends do it. For bills, it would be easy enough to split. And we would just each buy our own gas. But what about when we go out to eat? Or when we go grocery shopping? Or what about planning vacations? Do we just keep writing checks back and forth?
I guess I'm just curious as to what everyone else does or if they could offer us some advice? I just want us to be a partnership, but I also want things to be fair. Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | How do you split your bank accounts. Joint? Separate? What are the intricacies that work for you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Just a guy thing?
POST: Sorry for the wall of text.
Anyway, so me (23) and my boyfriend (22) have been going out for about six months, though we've known each other about a year. And ever since I met him, he was never into talking about himself or his family much. We have tons of other common interests to talk about so I never really noticed it much. But now that we are together, I want to know about his day specifically and his family, other friends, and whatever problems he may have had during the day.
But when I ask I always get very short and not very descriptive answers.
When I asked him about why he never tells me about things that bother him or about other people he talks to during the day, he says it just isn't important to him, and that talking about things that upset him doesn't help at all, and he doesn't want to waste our time together talking about negative things.
I tell him all my problems, and he is always very helpful, and doesn't make it seem like it is a waste of our time, so I don't really get that argument. So I guess I have to just accept he doesn't get anything out of talking about his problems.
So my question is, is this behavior a common, 'guy' thing or do most guys confide in their girlfriends at the very least? And if it is common, have you had experience with it, does it cause problems later? Anything I can do to make him talk to me more?
TL;DR: | boyfriend never talks about his worries/problems with me. Is it just him, or just the way some people are? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: How to train dog aggression out of a small dog?
POST: Teddy(pictures of the cute little beast has been getting regular walks and is responding well to the training but... He's very dog aggressive. Yesterday I walked him to my neighborhood park and everything was going so well! He was listening and following my direction just as I asked him too, he even ignored almost 5 dogs that barked at him through the fence!
While I was there, there was this couple that had two small breed dogs, one that was on a leash and another that was not(which is illegal in Oregon, where I live). While I was doing some loose leash training with Teddy in the field, the dog that was not on a leash suddenly bolted towards my dog.
Knowing Teddy's past with dogs I immediately picked him up and turned my back to the running dog(which was not easy considering Teddy was flailing and snarling all while I was holding him). I started walking slowly away in hopes she would go back to her owners but she just followed closely behind me until I told her to go back to her people.
This isn't the first time Teddy has reacted this way and I'm sure it won't be the last... I would love to take him to a dog park and let him play with other dogs without having to worry whether or not he's going to attack one of them or worse hurt someone or their dog!
My family is already struggling to eat everyday let alone afford a professional dog trainer! Is there anything I can do to try and show him that he doesn't have to be scared or try and attack other dogs?
(Note: strangers make him nervous but he has never bitten a human, I also don't have any friends that have neutral dogs that wouldn't mind a 12 lb chi barking and lunging in their face...)
TL;DR: | My dog is very aggressive towards any dog, how do I train that out of him without having to spend the little money I have on an expensive trainer? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (23/F) and him (23/M) Am I holding him back?
POST: Both I and my long-term SO still live at home but do eventually want to move in together somewhere. I struggle with anxiety and he with depression which may partially contribute to our current struggle. He's working full time and works very hard which is something I admire greatly. I, on the other hand, am struggling to find work and am enrolled in college. I am constantly worried that I am inadvertently putting more stress on him and thus dampening our relationship.
He also hates where we live and wants to move away because he feels like he can't move forward here. I feel like I'm holding him back and I don't want to do that. I'm sorry if I come across as rambling but I am seriously anxious right now. What can I do? Can this even be saved at all? Please lend me some advice. Thank you.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend works but hates it here. I am desperately trying to find work with very little luck and am currently enrolled in college. Am I unintentionally holding him back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not looking twice while crossing the street
POST: Well, quite a classical fuck up here. A few months back, I know it did not happen "today", but lawyers were involved so I was advised to keep this a private matter until everything was settled, I arrived to the beautiful city of Philadelphia for a concert with a few friends. After six hours of driving on a friday evening, we finally arrived to our hotel. Upon check in, we decided to crack open a bottle of Fireball (mistake one) to catch a little buzz before we went out to the bars. About an hour in, we decided to venture out to the streets of Philly. Being a mile away from Old City, we decided walking would not be an issue. Now at this point I am NOT drunk, I do have a buzz, but by no means was I hammered. Me being familiar with the city, I thought I'd be the "tour guide" for my friends and lead the pack. Along our travels, I decided to snap a picture to cherish the moment. Then I realized I am no longer leading the pack. Me being the hot shot that I am, decide to get a nice jog going so I can catch up with my buddies. But wait, they are stopped at the intersection, they must realize they fucked up by not waiting for me. Suddenly there I am, right at the intersection, ecstatic to get this night rolling. Still in a mid jog, I belch out in excitement "Let's go!!!". This is where I fuck up. I check my 2 o'clock, and I notice that two taxis are stopped, I look to my left, and I see no cars coming. Great, coast is clear. I take one step in the road, and for some weird reason I notice a light closing in on my right, BAM! I was smoked by a fucking taxi. Luckily I only suffered minor injuries, and I understand how bad it could have been, but fortunately for me this turned into a life lesson. Check both ways twice before crossing the street.
[ Aftermath: ] (
TL;DR: | Checked my 2 o'clock instead of my 3 o'clock before crossing the street, resulted in me getting smoked by a taxi. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to contact someone? [22/M]
POST: Alright, lately I've found myself fairly well attracted to a friend of mine. I've inquired with another friend of their's and they think that I would probably have a shot of maybe starting something with them. For an introvert like me that was pretty hard in and of itself but now for the actual hard part.
The girl I want to ask out refuses to use any sort of social media so she only has a phone [primarily for texting], which I am I not privy to the number of.
So far I have not asked any friends for the number simply because I think getting the number from her friends feels a bit wrong. But we don't exactly see each other hardly at all so I can't be more direct with her in person.
So any suggestions on trying to ask her out without coming completely out of left field?
TL;DR: | Want to ask a girl out: she doesn't use facebook, don't see her much in person, and don't have her number. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Question for writers who've been published
POST: Hello!
I recently submitted one of my short stories for publication on a website. They enjoyed my writing but asked that I do some minor revisions to make it more relevant to their website and are happy to assist me in tweaking it.
Anyways when people hear my stuff and give me their opinion. I usually answer by thanking them and explaining to them that I am a diligent writer and work hard on my writing and that I appreciate any feedback.
Should I write that to them? I am sending an E-mail soon to the editor to tell her I would appreciate her help in tweaking it. Should I give her my usual shtick or just keep it professional.
TL;DR: | I am an amateur writer being published on my first time trying and I don't know if I should speak to the editor casually or formally |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Getting ready to move and purging some clothes I never wear. If there are any unemployed redditors out there who could use a couple of nice dress shirts for their job hunt, let me know vie msg and I will drop some in the mail. [x-post]
POST: I posted to a few subreddits on the advice of a friend. Forgive me if I did it wrong.
I have a bunch of Brooks Brothers and Brooks Brothers-like oxford shirts that I have barely worn. I would be happy to send a couple to job hunting redditors who can make use of them for interviews or whatever. I think probably just the United States because of shipping costs. I also have some sportcoats to get rid of. The shirts are size 16 - 4/5 Sportcoats are 38-42 Regular. Most of this stuff fit me when I was slightly heavier than I am now, around 5' 8" and 185 lbs. Not a lot of items, but I'll invest in some USPS for people who could use them.
TL;DR: | Moving, and realized that I haven't worn anything but a t-shirt and jeans to work for over 10 years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: As soon as I get hungry, I lose my motivation. Help!
POST: Title basically. Before you post though, I'm not interested in "eat more protein, you'll be full longer" or "drink more water". I know exactly how to lose weight, and have been reasonably successful with it. I drink around a gallon of water a day and eat clean, lots of protein, not reallly low carb but I exercise a lot.
My question is about staying motivated when hunger eventually rears its ugly head. I'll be going strong all day, and then bam I'm hungry, and all I want to do is binge and eat everything. This might be a result of cutting too fast (I dropped ~60 pounds in a little under 7 months), and I've talked to my therapist about it, but it didn't used to happen. Hunger was just always a whatever, and I would just drink more water or make tea. That curbs hunger okay but I don't understand why my motivation goes to hell as soon as I get hungry these days.
This becomes a real problem since I'm on a meal plan, and it's all you can eat. I've found healthy choices, but when my stomach is growling and you put a pizza in front of me, I'm finding it reallllly difficult to eat a salad instead. Anyone else have this issue?
TL;DR: | I know how to lose weight, been doing it for 10 months. The first 8 months were easy to stay motivated, and it still is until I get hungry. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my Ex[25 F], not sure how to bring up wanting to introduce my kid [5m] to current gf [25f] of 5 months
POST: I will start off by saying my relationship with my sons mother is excellent. We steadily eat meals at each other's homes as a family at least once a week. We both attend his sports games and lessons. We do holiday activities ( most recently pumpkin carving) and we have very similar approaches to how we raise our child.
We have been apart for 3 or so years, neither of us has had a SO worth bringing up to the other until I met my girlfriend , we will call her brenda. Brenda is awesome, we have been dating 5 months and its been so smooth and effortless. We fell in love in the first few months and its been the happiest I've been in years.
I told my EX 3 months ago about Brenda ( well she found out from her group of friends via social media but I was bound to tell her anyways) and told her that any meeting with our son was a long way off and I would talk with her about it.
Fast forward to now, I feel like im living two lives. One is with brenda when I dont have my son with me and the other is with my son and occasionally time with my EX which is nice. But i miss Brenda and when I have him and I feel like keeping them separate is getting to be silly.
Can r/relationships share some experiences with this? Maybe some tips on how to approach this? It's a big deal for me and I want to make sure it is handled properly.
thanks
TL;DR: | great gf, great relationship with babymama and son. how do I get the ball rolling on introducing a new important person to my son and likely his mother? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: TDEE and confusing calculators.
POST: I am male. SW 180. CW162. GW150. Currently eating between 1500 and 1700 calories.
I used to gym three times a week weight training since I started my diet and this has helped me lose the initial weight. Since I plateaued I decided to shake it up a bit, skip the lifting and do 2-3 miles of running at 7-7.5 miles per hour speed, every day of the week with one or two days off. I actually prefer running to lifting. Anyway this is all background information.
I realize I need to assess my TDEE again to be able to continue losing weight. Since I plateaued I figure its either because I am a) eating too much, which I don't think is the case (I am extremely meticulous in counting calories, to a fault sometimes). Or I am eating too little and the bod is in starvation mode. So I went online and looked at a TDEE calculator (several actually) and with my current activity level and amount of exercise I have a TDEE of about 25-2800 (or so the calculators say). Which would mean I should be losing weight at 1.5+ pounds a week. Is a TDEE that high accurate?
TL;DR: | My recalculated TDEE says I should be eating 25-2800 calories a day, I eat 1500-1700 a day and am not losing weight anymore. Is this TDEE being calculated incorrectly by the online calculators? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Travelling across the US
POST: I currently live in Texas and I plan on going to university in England, and I think I want to stay there for a while. Before I go to university, though, I wanted to plan a road trip across the US. Obviously this is going to be expensive and I plan on saving money (I already have a lot saved up), but I'm still unsure of the route. I've lived in a couple different places and I've traveled a lot inside the US, but there's still a lot that I haven't seen. I want to make the route as short as possible while still visiting the places I want. So, in your opinion, should I try and go mostly places that mean something to me from my childhood, or should I try to go mostly to places that I've never seen?
TL;DR: | In my road trip across the US, should I try to revisit childhood memories, or should I go places that I've never been? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My dad died and I [21F] feel like I'm drowning.
POST: At the beginning of Fall semester last year, my dad got diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. It was really hard, but I focused on my schoolwork and managed to pass all my classes and earn my AA degree, and got accepted to transfer into the college I've wanted to go to my whole life. Dad managed to make it through a round of chemo and radiation, but he had to have a feeding tube placed because he couldn't eat solid food. Just before my big move (only three hours away), he was admitted to the hospital due to an infection in his picc line. I had to be there by January 2nd for a mandatory orientation, so instead of leaving the week before like I had planned, I left the day before. I went to visit him December 30th, because he didn't want my sister or me driving on New Year's Eve.
Classes started January 6th, and I had been calling home every day to get updates and say hi. On the 7th, my mom told me that I needed to come home that weekend, because dad didn't have much time left. On the 9th, she texted me at 10:30 and told me that I needed to get home NOW, because if I waited to the weekend, I would be too late. I skipped the rest of my classes and drove home in time to say goodbye, but he was unresponsive. He died at 8pm that night.
I went back to classes the following week, and that was really nice to help distract me. I joined a grief support group, and it was so incredibly helpful to meet people who knew what I was going through, especially since I didn't know anyone in the area. As the semester has continued on, I feel less and less motivated to do anything. I'm struggling to keep up with coursework, I've already dropped a class and a lab, and that's helped immensely, but it's not enough. I don't want to ruin my GPA in the first semester, but my family pays out-of-pocket for tuition, and I don't want $2000+ to have just been for nothing. I feel trapped and miserable, and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Dad died in the first week of my first semester at a new college, I've made a huge mistake in not dropping my classes and taking the semester off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [28F] raise my irritation with my partner's [28M] friend's remarks regarding ex lovers?
POST: Hello Reddit,
I'm feeling irrationally (maybe) angry about a comment my boyfriend made the other night and don't know if I should just let it go or bring it up as something I'd rather not hear again.
Prior to me, my boyfriend had flings with a couple of women who model/strip professionally. One of them continues to leave comments about how much she misses him on his Facebook.
A friend of his, who has not met me, apparently asked him the other day, after seeing a photo of me, how he could give up such hot models? Boyfriend mentioned this to me while he was talking about why he fell in love with me (the conversations we have, the insane sex, the never getting bored).
I don't doubt that he loves me, but the friend's comment pissed me off. I didn't say anything about in the moment, but it irritated me later on.
I have thought of saying to the boyfriend, "If Troy makes such remarks again, I'd prefer not to hear it," because it was pretty unpleasant, but I don't know if I'm being petty and if this just reflects on some of my insecurities.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's friend saw a photo of me and asked how bf could go from fucking professional strippers to me. Do I ask that he sooner not share such comments with me in future? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(M19) really want to ask this girl(F19) out, but I don't know what to say.
POST: Hey,
I have been really interested in asking this girl out for a while now, but I have no idea what to say. We went to high school together, but we went to separate colleges. I haven't seen her in a while, and we don't really keep in touch. Recently, I noticed that she had been consistently liking my posts on Facebook, and even went back and liked a few other posts that she would have had to go back through my page to see. I would like to say something to her, and if things go well, possibly ask her on a date, but I don't know what I should say. Especially considering how we haven't seen or talked to each other in months, I don't know what I could say in a message that wouldn't sound weird. What is something that I could start a conversation with, that would be able to break the ice with her, without sounding out of place.
Thanks.
TL;DR: | I want to talk to this girl I haven't seen in a while, with the hopes of asking her out on a date, without sounding out of place. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] got pranked at work by two managers [30ish F and 40ish M]. I feel hurt and excluded and don't know what to do.
POST: So I work as a bus boy at a certain southern themed steak house. The work is hard, but I'm very good at it, and I enjoy that it gives me some exercise and I can stay busy. I have worked there for 3 months roughly now, and most of my coworkers are fine, but I've had some issues.
A few days ago a manager told me to go to the freezer and bag air and bring it out to the front (something about fumes and scents getting out or whatever). I thought this was really strange and kept asking her why, and suggesting that I go back to doing my real job, but her and another manager insisted. So I did that and it didn't take long for me to realize that they were playing a joke on me. Everyone was laughing and it definitely sent me back to being bullied in the past.
One of the managers, the female one, didn't really apologize, but told me that what happened wasn't that bad and that it happens to everyone. That made me feel worse, because now I feel like i'm in an environment where it's OK for people to mock me. She also said I could prank people back, but I don't really have any interest in making anyone else feel shitty.
In addition to this specific instance, more things have happened that have made the work environment not very professional. Inappropriate sexual comments are common. Often I am made to stay late because a manager will "forget" to ask me to leave. People have taken to calling me Jimmy Neutron because I do well in school and fit the stereotype of your classic nerd, which I hate, but most of the people there are older than me, and bus boy are at the bottom of the pecking order, so I don't feel like I can call them out on it.
I may be overreacting. But I don't feel comfortable and when this stuff happens I just always think that I'm not really paid enough to deal with this (I make minimum wage).
TL;DR: | Managers tricked me by making me bag air then bring it out to the front, made me the butt of the joke. I don't know how to react and I don't feel comfortable at my own job |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: gf[16] and i m[16] had a problem tonight and i need help for tommorow
POST: So tonight my girlfriend told me that she feels different. We have been together for 5 months now. Her feelings have lessened. This has happened to us before and was fixed. I am planning on talking to her in person tommorow because she wants me too. I know she likes me but not nearly as much as before. What do i need to say so she will feel better? Im hoping people who have been through this know what to say. Cause i honestly know what to say when i see her to fix this. I know some people will say its just over, i want to at least try to fix it, if that does not happen, it doesn't. But i want to try. Please give me some tips.
TL;DR: | my gf and i have hit a rough patch and she says her feelings have lessened, i need tips on how to recover these feelings when i see her tommorow |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] boyfriend [23M] of 6 months said he thinks I like him more than he likes me, now on a break
POST: Hello!
Yesterday I asked him if anything was wrong, because he seemed distant for the past few days. He answered that everything was okay, but at the same time wasn't. "I care about you very much, but I'm not sure if I like you as much as you like me."
Our relationship prior to this has been wonderful. We spend a lot of time together, which we both enjoy and we fit together very well. I'm an affectionate person and I show my feelings, which may have given him the impression that my feelings are a bit stronger than they actually are, it's possible. He is a private person and I understand if he's just having a second of panic/doubt, but I'm not sure of course, because I'm not him.
Now we decided to go on a break. We have never taken a break in a relationship (ours or previous ones) l, so we didn't think of setting an exact date. I think I'm going to wait a week and then contact him so we could meet and talk. He said that the feeling he has has nothing to do with me exactly and that he doesn't know why he has been feeling like that for the last week. Hence why we're on a break, not broken up. Otherwise our relationship is good and we both don't want to "throw it in the bin".
I'm absolutely devastated and unable to sleep or function. It was so unexpected and I really would like to make this work.
Whad do you think?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is not sure he likes me as much as like him and we're now on a break. Prior to this everything has been great. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I met a girl working on a summer camp in America. I'm devastated after returning to the UK, has anyone got any advice/experience on how to deal with it?
POST: I'm M20, I met a girl (24) whilst working on a summer camp in America. We got together after a week or so, and stayed together for the whole three months. I went to stay with her in florida after we finished working on the camp too. Not to sound cliché, but this girl is pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me, like no girl I have ever been in a relationship with before, but I have had to return home to the UK. We both agreed it would never work oversees, but I am devastated; this girl is the love of my life, and I don't even know if/when I'll see her again. Now I'm home I thought I would start to feel better about it, but I'm only feeling worse by the day. I don't know how to deal with it, has anyone got any advice?
TL;DR: | I met the girl of my dreams whilst working in the US, and spent 3 months living with her. I'm home in the UK now, and I can't get over her! Anyone with advice or experience?. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M 20] ended things with a girl [F 19] because it was better that way (toxic relationship), but I'm having some trouble letting go. I want to know I'm doing things right
POST: So here's the short. I helped a close friend of mine make some decisions that we both regret, involving cheating on her now ex. We fostered a closeness and pseudo-relationship for several months. Both agreed to be exclusive after some consideration, but never anything official. If anyone is going to try and beat a dead horse, I recognize that my decision was inconsiderate, destructive, and pointless. Her relationship was 2 years.
Moving on.
I tried what I could to support her and let her make her own decisions. She felt that she could get past all that upset her and be happy with me. Months later, she still felt guilt being with me. In hindsight, it was slowly spilling into resentment. She became easily frustrated and angry with me. I asked her, directly, if she ever felt bad after sex, if she ever felt upset and unhappy. She sighed, and said that she still felt guilt and unhappiness the day following an evening with me. We agreed that it would be best to separate.
Even if the situation was shit, she was the first person I really loved. It's been extremely hard on me, but I know I'm doing the right thing for her by pushing away and keeping distance. I see her at least 3 times a week in class, unavoidably.
I cry about it still, every now and then. It was hard at first, and hardest when I found out she was seeing someone else within a few weeks. Been trying to keep myself doing different things, got a tinder account to meet new people, had a lunch date today. It still hurts and it's been something like a month. What else can I do? I feel so defeated and drained anymore.
TL;DR: | Is the only necessary thing time and distance? Part of me also wants to ask if a friendship is possible, but recognizing that such a thing is not necessary nor desirable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Report or Not: Verbal Racial Assault
POST: Hey Reddit,
After my awesome day at work today, I am returning home and I jaywalk in front of this Busters truck. For those who do not know, Busters is a towing company in Vancouver, Canada. I notice the trucks speed is noticeably higher than usual and rush across the street.
I cross and as I keep walking, I hear someone yelling. I turn around to see this guy in a white car, Mercedes, with a Washington plate, is yelling at the driver of the tow truck. Apparently, the Mercedes driver had his left signal lights on and was trying to get intot he other lane and almost got hit by that truck.
Driver of the car gets out and starts yelling racial insults at the tow-truck driver. I clearly remember along the insults:
* Fuck your mom
* You fucking indian
* Go back to your fucking country, you piece of shit brown fucking indian motherfucker
<edit> Car driver also spat on the truck/driver </edit>
It was very shameful. I felt ashamed. This was repeated a bunch of times. My slow iphone couldnt get to video mode soon enough and they both took off.
I walk to the next street corner block away and there they are, with the car parked behind the tow truck preventing him from backing up and the car driver on the phone. Most likely reporting the tow truck driver. I hang around for a few minutes to see if anything else is gonna happen. Nothing happens and they both take off. 2 blocks later, guess who is right beside me, douchebag car driver. This is a sign right?
TL;DR: | Witnessed a driver, whose car had American plates, in Vancouver, verbally assaulting (racial insults) a Canadian tow-truck driver |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Cat doesn't understand floors
POST: Hello,
Meet Jake:
I live in an appartment on the first floor with a small forest at the back with a terrace. Jake has been on the terrace for a few months and never tried to jump down. Unfortunately, there is no way for him to get down or up safely.
Because there is such a nice forest next to us, and there are other cats from neighbours where he's "talking " to when he's on the terrace, I want to teach him to get outside.
For a few times, I brought him downstairs. He flees immediately into the bushes. After a few hours, he's always crying at the door of my neighbour on the ground level. He does not understand that the door at ground level does not access my apartment. When he's crying to get in, I rush down, but when I approach him, he flees again. I keep calling his name but he's hiding. As soon as I'm back in my apartment he's crying again.
Somehow, he does not want to picked up when he's outside. He just wants to enter the door, which is offc not possible because it's not my door. For three times I had to ask my neighbour to let him in and pick him up at his place.
TL;DR: | How do I learn my cat that when he's outside and wants to come in, that he should not cry at my neighbours door but allows me to pick him up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] was left a year ago by my ex [27M]. It's been a year since the year-long relationship ended, and I miss him more each day.
POST: A year ago my boyfriend at the time left me for someone else. The details of it don't really matter here. He was my best friend and our personalities and humor were very in-sync. He's extremely weird and I'm extremely weird, but somehow our weirdnesses meshed in a way I've never felt before. We just got along incredibly well. He's expressed regret about ending things during the few times we've talked (contact has been cut off for a while at this point), but has continued to pursue the other woman, but at this point re-conciliating the relationship would be impossible due to the nature of the way he broke things off.
Ever since he left, I've found myself getting more depressed. I feel incredibly alone. I've dated quite a few people in between, all of whom are fantastic people who I should be lucky to date. Every time, I feel a lack of desire to continue the relationship and just end up breaking up with them.
It's now approaching a year since he left, which is the same duration as the relationship itself. Things continue to get worse to the point where I feel like I'm just never going to connect with anyone in that way again, and will just end up living what seems to be an empty life. I continue to do all the the activities I love--invest in my health, career, and friendships. I just don't feel fulfilled anymore. Has anyone ever gone through something like this? Is there anything I can actively do to prevent myself from being so bitter and sad?
TL;DR: | Was left over a year ago by someone incredibly unique in personality; don't think I can find that again. Advice on how to get myself out of this year-long slump? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33 M] with my wife [39 F]dated 7 years, married 3, I'm losing my physical attraction for her
POST: I dated my wife for 7 years, married for 3 years (total of 10 now). I love my wife and have loved her the entire time. Initially our sex life was exciting, kinky, and we tried new things all the time. For quite some time now it has turned extremely repetitive. I don't know if that's part of the problem or not. Part of my issue is that I'm not really physically attracted to her anymore. She has been overweight our entire relationship and at first I didn't mind. Now it has become a major annoyance for me. I feel like I resent her for not trying harder to lose the weight. Part of the issue is we can't have children, partially due to her weight issues. She struggles with her own issues of self image due to the weight issue and I think that is hurting my attraction to her too. She doesn't feel sexy or attractive and so doesn't try as hard.
I've thought about cheating, but the thought isn't interesting to me. I love my wife and I love being with her. She is my best friend and I have tons of fun with her. I can't imagine my life without her. I also feel guilty all the time for not being interested in her more physically.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. I've been super stressed lately and don't really have anyone I feel comfortable talking about this with. I just need to get this out and hear others' thoughts I guess.
TL;DR: | I love my wife, but I'm not attracted to her anymore physically. Need advice/somewhere to talk about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by also microwaving an egg and unleashing the most horrible stench I've smelled all year
POST: We're remodelling our kitchen at the moment, and that means that we can't use a stove or an oven to prepare our meals. It's been all frozen dinners for the past few weeks.
Today I decided to be a little adventurous by finding a way to make boiled eggs *in the microwave*. I put five eggs in a glass container with some water and put a lid on the top. Thinking ahead (heh), I didn't put the lid on tightly, to prevent pressure for building up in the glass container, which could cause an explosion.
I put my egg making doo-dad in the microwave, started it up and went to do some homework. It took about 45 minutes for the water to even begin boiling. Not long after the boiling began, I heard a large explosion. I could smell something burning, so fearing the worst (THE EGGS ARE BURNING DOWN MY HOUSE) I bought one of the fire extinguishers I have stashed in my house.
When I enter the kitchen I was greeted by the horrible stench of burning egg. You won't believe how bad it smelled; it's quite possibly the worst smelling thing I've had the pleasure of smelling all year (and I've smelled some horrible shit this year). Opening the microwave only made the stench worse... When I look inside of my still intact glass container, I see that there are four eggs (those of you who are paying attention would know that is one less then I had put in there). I inspect the microwave carefully for any sign of my missing egg and discover tiny fragment all over the microwave. The explosion has obliterated one of the eggs. Thankfully my kitchen wasn't burning down (yes, I know most of you are probably disappointed).
Anyways I threw away the eggs. My whole house smells like rotten eggs now. Hopefully the pizza guy doesn't notice when he comes.
TL;DR: | I have no oven or stove and decided to be adventurous by microwaving eggs. They exploded and now my whole house smells like eggs. I've ordered pizza in shame :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my GF [18F] of 13 months, are becoming distant.
POST: I rarely see my SO due to her parents being strict, at least that's what she tells me. I just feel like there's always an excuse. Since the beginning, we only hang out once, maybe twice a week if I'm lucky for less than 3 hours and for the past few months it started bothering me. We only live 5-10 minutes away and I just find it ridiculous that we can't spend much time together.
Well today she went to a friend's house with a few other people and stayed there for more than we had ever spent in a week during our relationship! Of course it got me upset and jealous, but who wouldn't? We had a talk about our situation and she tells me that she's trying her hardest but can't seem to feel out relationship. Throughout the relationship I've always felt like it wasn't going to work out but I kept trying to keep the relationship together. I made sure that she was happy. I've always put her first than anyone else (except for family of course). We'll be talking tomorrow about what's going to happen and I just don't know what to do. Part of me don't want to let the relationship go, but I know I shouldn't force it.
TL;DR: | I can't spend much time with my SO and it's ruining our relationship. Do I leave or try and fix it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24 M] GF [21 F] of six months just told me she is getting her septum pierced this weekend. Help.
POST: Hey there /r/relationships!
My girl is going to get her septum (middle of her nose) pierced with her friend (24 M) this weekend, for no apparent reason. I should say that I trust this guy, and don't believe this is a date--they are real good work friends.
She broke the news to me last night over text message, and I immediately responded with "omg you are changing your face," which she interpreted as a joke and dropped the subject.
I am a naturally insecure/jealous type, and in the past I have messed relationships up by trying to control my partner (aka Don't go out to coffee with your ex. or Don't go to his dorm room with him alone.)
I really don't want this girl to change, at all. I had an experience in college where my girlfriend cut off all of her hair, and surprised me the next day. It was awkward.. kissing was different and I never fully felt the same about her (the personality changed, as if the hair cut [which was down to her hips] set her free).
I am fearful this is happening again, but I don't want to be controlling and tell her what she can and can't do.
TL;DR: | my gf is getting her nose pierced like a bull this wknd and i don't want her to change. what can i do, or should i just let her be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Is it worth it to mend things with my ex?
POST: I'm 20 (f). Last year, I ended things with my boyfriend because I wasn't happy with how it was going. He was very forgetful (would should up to see me late, forget we were doing something, etc), the relationship was going nowhere, and he had little ambition to better his life (wanted to be a pizza delivery man for the rest of his life, not that it's the worst thing, but hardly seemed like a goal). After realizing there was little or no future to the relationship, I slowly slipped out of it, and at the same time realized I had feelings for my best friend.
I broke things off with my boyfriend (of a few years on and off), not to pursue a new relationship, but because I couldn't endure any more of the relationship. I promised him years ago that we'd always be friends, and I know that it's hard to be friends after a breakup, but he tried his hardest. He tried to win me back for months, then he decided we could just be friends, and finally I just told him we had to cut off all communication.
At this point, I still see him around sometimes, and I don't want things to be awkward for either of us. I cut off communication so that he would (hopefully) be able to move on from the relationship. The last time I saw him (he was out to eat with a group of our friends who he never really sees), he immediately stopped talking when I walked into the room and sat on his phone all night.
I don't feel guilty about ending the relationship, or being happy in my new one, but sometimes I think I should talk to him and mend things so that things aren't as awkward. I never wanted things to add on a bad note, as we had been friends for years. Maybe it's better to just let this one go, but I'm really not sure. Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | Left things off in a bad way with ex, never wanted to be enemies, in a new relationship. Should I try to tell him that I don't want things to be that way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by filling up my bird feeder.
POST: My 7 year old nephew recently built a bird feeder in school and asked me if I could hang it up in my tree out in my front yard. I of course replied with "Absolutely!" but now looking back at it, I wish I had said "FUCK NO."
Basically after my nephew left to go home with his mother, I hung up the bird feeder and went to get some bird food from the local Lowes. After my short trip, I filled it up with my newly purchased bird chow and went inside to go about my day.
The very next fucking day, I see a whole army of these sons of bitches in the front of my yard swarming at the big ass bag of bird food that I left outside in front of my garage door. How long have they been there I do not fucking know but when I actually got outside to confront this battalion of foul as a one man army, nearly the bag was toppled over and a mountain of bird seed was piled in front of my garage with every bird in the fucking neighborhood probably piled around it.
To them it looked like a buffet, but to me it looked like a nuclear bomb amount of bird turd that was going to fly onto my car. So I as fast as I could threw both my slippers at the group and proceeded to BONZAI rush at the flock. I have to say that I was victorious in my last stand.
The lesson I learned: I'm retarded for leaving the bird food out, and fuck birds.
TL;DR: | I bought bird food and put it into my feeder. The birds said fuck the feeder and went for the bag that I stupidly left open in the front of my garage. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [25/F] I don't know if I've ever loved anyone, romantic or otherwise. Is there something wrong with me?
POST: I don't know if I can say I love anyone, even my parents. I've said it to a handful of people, but it's always been more out of a sense of obligation than anything else. I did have one boyfriend of close to four years that I would say it to, but looking back I really don't think I actually felt love, and I've never said it to any partner since. I just don't think I've ever felt it, but then again I don't really know how it should feel.
For a little more background, I live on my own, am currently seeing a guy, have one sister, and my parents are divorced. Fairly normal life I suppose, but my family has a history of mental illness.
Is there something wrong with me? What does it feel like to love a family member, friend, or partner? If anyone has any similar stories or thoughts on this it would be appreciated. I know it's kind of weird.
TL;DR: | I don't know what love for family, friends, or partners is supposed to feel like or if I've experienced it, and I don't know what to make of that. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: M21 needing some advice.
POST: I am a 21 M, and she's 21 as well.
We dated for about 5 months, and last week she broke it off with me. I took it really hard, and cut contact for about 5 days. We're going to be back at school together in the fall, so after she caved and texted me first, I started talking to her some.
Now we're back to texting just short of the amount we texted when we were dating, and her texts seem to on the side of flirting where we were before we dated, while I've kept mine very relaxed and subdued, as I don't know what I want to happen.
I know she's talked with one of my best friends about the situation, and he's let me know there was no other guy, and I just really don't know what to do about the whole situation.
It's definitely a possibility that we get back together near the start of school, but I don't know what I want for sure yet.
My question boils down to should I try and define what we currently are, a week after this break up, and see where we're both at concerning us?
I still definitely have feelings for her right now, and I just don't know how to deal with this.
TL;DR: | She broke up with me, 1 week later we're texting a lot again. Her texts seem flirtatious. Try and figure out what she's feeling, or wait till school to see what happens? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is she interested?
POST: This is a decently long story so I'll just give you the bullet points.
-she lives ~4 hours away (but is considering grad school where I live)
-Met her at my brother's wedding
-everyone at the wedding (including her entire family) was basically telling us to date
-we really hit it off
-she had a bf at the time but we still texted a lot after the wedding
-we called it off after a while (sort of mutual)
-she texted me recently
-we have since been texting fairly regularly for about two months
-I initiate the vast majority of our conversations
-However during our conversations she seems incredibly interested and we make jokes all the time or discuss serious things, we just get along very well
-We also flirt HEAVILY, like really obviously (it has become clear, through the flirtation that she and her bf have broken up)
-Sometimes though her answers are a little on the short side
-I called her recently (took me a little too long I realize) and asked her to hang out one weekend (the thought had been thrown around but neither one of us has ever made like a concerted effort, because I have been extremely busy with school)
-She said she was busy for the next few weekends, she listed off stuff she was doing each weekend to me and it seemed fairly legitimate and she was sad about it
-But she REALLY seemed interested and wanted to work her schedule around so we could hang out
I would just like another perspective on this. I know that she likes me. It is pretty clear. But she initiates very few of our conversations. That is really the only issue. I just want another opinion on my next move. Should I leave her alone for a few days? Should I just call her a couple of times a week? I know this isn't much to go on, but what is your opinion reddit?
TL;DR: | Long distance girl seems both extremely interested and minorly interested. How can I get rid of the latter half of that sentence? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: US Savings Bonds (EE)
POST: How do they work?
I have received 1 $50 face value US EE Savings Bond each year (purchased in the 11th month of each year) since 1990.
I know some of these bonds have interest rates close to 4.0% and others are as low as 0.63%.
I have some student loans I'm paying off and was wondering if I should sell the low interest savings bonds (less than 1%) to pay off the 6.8% student loan debt. What taxes will I encounter? Can I avoid them? I'm 23 y/o if it matters.
Also I think all the bonds are variable interest rates (can be changed twice yearly) Why are some years sitting high and others really low? is there a max or min that these rates can go to? Is there a chance these 0.68% rates might rise in the future making it worth holding onto them?
These bonds earn interest for 30 years right? so 4% returns is pretty great for guaranteed interest. But I'm worried that they might dip lower (again this variable interest rate)
TL;DR: | I don't know /r/Alot about these bonds I have even though I have over $1,000 in value in them. Help me please? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are your experiences with a mixed gender college house?
POST: I am currently living in a five bedroom, two bathroom, two story apartment with 4 other guys; 5 guys total. Next year two will be moving out and now I have a couple of girls coming over to see the place. They would be signing into a year long lease to live with us; one on each floor. I want to hear about your experiences with this situation. What should I come forward about while they are still interested but not yet signed. Certain things you wish you would have known about living with the opposite gender? Specific preferences both parties should be agreeable to? I want to know everything.
TL;DR: | I want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly about living with 2 random people of the oposite gender; for a year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [22M] ask this girl [23F] to coffee without seeming like a bother?
POST: Last week, I met a girl at a small get-together. Even though we our conversation was short, I felt like we clicked. She seemed genuinely interested in the things I had to say, and she didn't seem to be put-off by anything. I was really casual during the conversation, but before I left, I completely forgot about asking for her number.
I eventually added her on facebook, and when I asked for her number, she asked for my number instead. Being the skeptic that I am, I took that as she wasn't interested. A few days later, she texted me. Our text conversation has been sporadic, as our replies to each other are pretty spaced out (by hours, and sometimes a couple days). I mentioned getting coffee with her, and she was interested, but she hasn't said anything about it since I've been busy with graduate school, and her with work.
If I were to text her again about coffee, would that be too forward? How do I approach this situation? I don't want feel suffocating or needy, but it's hard when there's a lack of communication.
TL;DR: | I want to ask a girl to coffee without seeming too bothersome or needy. How do I do so even when our text conversations are so spread out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [M21] In a very tricky situation with [F19]
POST: Its quite a long story, but I'll give you the gist of it. I met this girl on this one encounter. We got on pretty well, with her showing signs of interest, however she seemed really shy (like I was when I had SA). Anyway, the next day I add her on facebook. Fast forward a month and we talk for a week on FB, and I reply to her message and at the end I ask her out for coffee. Now, this was Friday. It is now Tuesday. It seems like she has missed my message (not seen it) but not coming up on her notifications. (FB does timestamp when you've seen a message). She still hasn't seen the message, and I'm 100% sure becuase she has neither unfriended/blocked me or replied yes or no (hasn't seen it to).
There is no way to see the whole message and the ending where I ask her out just by glancing at the message notification box. Also I know she has been on facebook as she periodically comes up as online on messenger. Plus, I had asked her out before on fb, mentioning that I forgot to get your number and whether you want to go out some time etc, but it seems like she hasn't seen that either. She is a nice girl and would like to go out with her, but I just don't know what to do now...
TL;DR: | Met a girl, talked a bit on facebook, asked her out, she hasn't seen the message after a few days. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: For almost 3 months, my summer job has screwed me around and not paid me. What can I do?
POST: Okay so I don't know what's relevant so here's the long story in all its frustrating glory.
I'm Canadian and I got a job working for an American organization but in Canada. Everything leading up to the job was fine but when I started on May 17 of this year, everything started going wrong. The first was that I actually wasn't officially hired since someone in the hiring department didn't get me the right paperwork. It took two weeks to sort that out. After that, I filled out my two-week timesheets for the whole summer (it's the same pay every pay period and not based on hours worked) and sent them in the beginning of June.
I filled out the online direct deposit form and it seemed to go through. However, after I didn't get paid when I was supposed to, I called Payroll. They told me that it was impossible to do direct deposit to a Canadian bank and they would issue me a paper cheque to my home address. (First red flag was that they hired me knowing I was Canadian and didn't bring up this problem before). I was working out-of-province but I had enough money to last me the summer and expected that my pay cheques would be waiting for me when I got home July 25. Lo and behold, no money!
On July 26 I received an email from the department I worked for telling me that they had my cheque and where they should send it. This was WEEKS after the cheque was supposed to be sent out. The cheque was sent out July 27 and as of today, still hasn't arrived. I figured they would express it to me since they have screwed up at every point and I have not received any compensation for almost 3 whole months.
The rotten cherry on this whole cake is that even after I receive the cheque, there is a 30 day hold on all international cheques. So I won't have the full amount available to me for another month. I am beyond frustrated but I don't know if I have any legal recourse here. I have considered contacting the US Department of Labor. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Summer job didn't give me all the relevant information about how I would get paid and now it's been almost 3 months without a pay cheque. How can I get the bastards back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Kinda-sorta girlfriend (17f) doesn't know what she wants with me (17m)
POST: So i've been somewhat romantically involved with a girl i've been interested in for a long time (trust me - very long time), and it has only been over the past 6-7 months that she's even known me.
Anyway, there was a time there where things were great, she was openly admitting that she 'loves me', but after some time it has deteriorated to a point where we barely talk (except on facebook), and even when we're within talking distance at school she still tends to avoid a conversation. Despite this, sometimes she behaves like nothing has changed, like she doesn't even notice how differently she's been treating me.
This was following a particularly awkward event at my house, in which I told her I loved her (for the first time 'in real life'). I'm not sure if this was the main reason for what has been happening, but I don't like that it is happening at all. We've basically been acting like we're only kind of friends lately, and sure - i'm happy that we talk at all, and that she still seems sort of comfortable around me, I just need some advice.
Basically what i'm asking is this: Has she given up on me romantically? Should I just treat her 100% like a friend or should I just let it 'flow'? For the record, we've never officially 'gone out', although I'd consider what we had as exactly that, it was just never finalised, I suppose I should say. Thanks guys and gals.
TL;DR: | Girl i'm partly romantically involved with doesn't know what she wants, need advice on what to do (if anything at all). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [19m] not sure what to do or think in complicated LDR with a girl who's distanced herself [18f] from me
POST: I'll try to make a long story short. I've never had a serious relationship with a girl, and last summer, I met a girl from work. We became very, very close, and ended up spending the summer together. We were inseprable. I'd never felt so happy and content with myself. It turned into one of the best summers I've ever had. We were always telling each other how much we liked one another. We were dreading the end of the summer.
The big problem is that I decided to take a gap year before college, in Europe. The second the summer ended, I was gone. Jane said that she wanted to keep in touch everyday, and I was more than happy to do so. We kept in touch nearly everyday via Facebook message and text, skyping only a few times. We always talked about how great it would be when I got back from Europe, and how much we missed each other. That started around August last year, and had been going on up until about two months ago, in April. I was making the majority of the effort to stay in touch all year, and it seemed that she genuinely wanted to keep in touch and liked talking. Come April, she pretty much just stopped. The Facebook messages stopped, and whenever I texted Jane, it was very clear that she wasn't interested in talking. Whenever we did text, it was always all about her. I'd ask all the questions, and she'd usually respond with one word answers. So rarely did she ask even so much as, "how's your day been?" There were some other instances where it was extremely apparent that she was distancing herself from me.
I get back from Europe in a week. I've been waiting to see her all year, and now I'm freaking out, because it seems very obvious that she isn't even interested in communicating. I've given up putting forth effort because I'm so sick of the one way street. Does all this mean that she's completely uninterested in being with me this summer? Sorry if this is very convoluted and rambling, I've never written a post before.
TL;DR: | Had an unbelivable relationship with a girl, kept in touch all year, she suddenly lost interest, I'm getting back from Europe in a week. What is she trying to tell me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20 M] I am in love with my best friend [20 F] and it's making me incredibly depressed.
POST: I've been indescribably close to this girl since I was 15. I'm closer to her than anybody else. I value our relationship more than anything else however I can't help but have very strong feelings for her.
We talk nearly every day and have shared our deepest emotional experiences with each other. As you may have guessed from my username I have a mental illness. She is the only person I have confessed the true extent of the problems associated with it to. There are so many instances I could use to highlight how close we are but I won't divulge into that.
I've tried to hint at my true feelings for her in the past but never explicitly stated them. She has never explicitly stated that she doesn't have feelings for me but I suspect that to be the case. She's never been in a relationship however whenever she tells me about her experiences with men and how close she has come to being involved with them it tears me apart. I try to be supportive and offer advice as my main concern is her happiness.
Lately, I have been unable to think of anything but her and have slipped into a deeply depressive slump. I should be happy that I have the relationship I have with her however I am utterly convinced I will never find anybody as unique and as special as her. I have a genetic disorder which means I look abnormal and as a result I've never had any luck with women. I also suspect that the relationship I have with my friend would be very different if I did not look like this.
I don't know what to do. Another friend I confided in told me that I should tell her how I feel or else it will just continue to destroy me however I don't want to lose what I already have. She is the best thing in my life and I would be much worse off without her in it.
TL;DR: | I'm in love with my best friend and she might not feel the same way but keeping it a secret is making my life hell. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19f] My Boyfriend [17m] Wants to Break Up?
POST: Hey, we've been dating for a year and a couple months, and we got into a huge fight a few days ago. He called me controlling and a lot of mean stuff, and broke up with me. Today I left a really sweet long apology letter at his door for Valentines day, and he still hasn't texted me or anything. I'm getting worried that he doesn't want to stay with me.
The reason we had our fight is that he went to the mall with one of his friends, her boyfriend, and her friend. Her friend is a girl, it was almost like a double date. He didn't even tell me that her friend was a girl, I had to find out from his friends Instagram post. And I confronted him about it, he admitted to it, and I just kinda said you know you're not allowed doing this again, and he said that I'm controlling and stuff, and whenever he calls me that it really pisses me off, and I ended up hitting him sort of. That is a completely rare occurrence though and I was just frustrated that he took me caring for him as being controlling. He said he was breaking up with me then, and I've sent several texts & calls since and he hasn't responded, I left the letter earlier today and still no response.
I'm starting to feel depressed, I really don't want to break up and he means literally everything to me. What can I do without seeming crazy? :/ I've sent over 5 texts, a few calls, and now a letter and I'm trying to just wait until he responds to me for now, but it doesn't seem like that's happening.Help :( Sorry if I have crappy grammar btw, it's like 3AM.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of over a year, wants to break up with me because he says I'm controlling. I want to stay together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: [Text] 19M wasted teenage years. Turning 20 next month and want to change.
POST: So my work life is good. I've got a good job with good opportunities.
My social life, however, is non-existent. I get home from work and sit at my laptop browsing rubbish. I don't go out over the weekend either.
I've had a long thing about what I might enjoy that would get me out the house. The only two things I could think of were joining a gliding club (I love flying but can't afford a full on licence) and rock climbing (could get me fitter).
But I just can't be bothered to go and try these things. It just feels like so much effort and I might not enjoy them. Plus I live with my parents and they'd probably need medical attention if I announced I was going to go out at the weekend.
At some point (probably on my 21st birthday) I'd like to take a road trip with some friends. But first I need to find friends to do this, and joining a club is the only way I can think of doing it, but I just can't get the motivation to join a club. It's a huge change in my life, going right out of my comfort zone, to join a club as I never usually do this sort of thing.
Does anyone have any advice, or how I can get myself started? ('Just do it' is easier said than done!)
TL;DR: | Want to improve my life by joining a club to gain some friends, but it's so far out of my comfort zone I'm struggling. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/F] with my Boyfriend [23 / M] Is mad at me about packing to move country
POST: Me and My boyfriend are living in brazil and are packing to go back to England. He has way more things than me as he has lived here all of his life and me just 6 months.
So to the problem. Today we are packing, We have 4 big bags to take with us. Two are filled with a combination of my clothes and his and the other 2 are all of his stuff that he wants to take. He has Boxes of things that he will send to a different city until he comes back to take the rest.
Now he found something in my bag that I was going to throw away in england and replace. This made him mad as I'm taking up unnecessary space that he could use to put the stuff thats in the boxes in. I didnt know he wanted to do this as he had boxed everything up and had already taped up the boxes and seemed quite happy to let his grandad take them to his house.
He said I am either selfish or stupid. He then told me to go through the bags and make sure theres nothing that I will throw away when i get back to england. I did, most was his stuff and the other stuff is things i would actually wear when I'm there. So I said there was nothing.
He got even more mad at me and called me a Selfish bitch that I didn't care about his stuff and only mine. So I went through the bags and got rid of tonnes of clothes of mine that I don't usually wear but still wanted and freed up almost 1/4 of the bag with our clothes. He said he still didn't care because he thinks I only did it because he is mad at me and I wasn't willing to do it before (yes because I thought I would use those in England) Now he is blanking me and mad, I don't know how to fix this. He refuses to fill the space I made with the stuff in the boxes.
I don't want comments saying leave him. I just want some advice on how to talk to him and show him that I'm not selfish or stupid. I just want to do something to show I'm I'm doing it willingly and not because He's mad
TL;DR: | Bf is mad that I was taking lots of my stuff and couldn't fit his, got rid of loads of my stuff, now he is blanking me and refusing to put his stuff in anyway, how can i fix this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Non-Romantic] Me [23F] with my sister [23F] dreading living with her as she is lazy and selfish.
POST: I am due to move into a new flat with my twin sister in a couple of months (we'll call her Jessica). For financial reasons we are both still living with our parents however we have been desperate to move out for years now so my parents are offering to pay our rent on a place until we are in a better position. The obvious condition is that we must live together as my parents don't want to pay rent on two places.
I love Jessica to death, she's my best friend but I **cannot** live with her. She's a nightmare. Here is just a couple of the things she does:
- She refuses to do any housework leaving it to my mother and myself
- She never turns off light switches and will leave her TV on all night resulting in a large electrical bill for my parents
- She lights candle, leaves her laptop switched on all night and forgets to turn off the oven. She has started several smalls fires this way
- Her room is a mess filled with dirty laundry and rotting food. We had an infestation of flies last summer which I'm certain came from her room and yet my mother was the one who went and cleaned it (she always is)
- She takes anything she wants and needs without asking and will never return them or leave them in her room where they will eventually be destroyed
Whenever I try to bring up my concerns to my mother (my father works abroad and is very rarely about) she just shrugs and says thats just Jessica. She's the one who cleans up after my sister and my biggest fear is that when we move I'll end up doing it. The few times I've tried to talk to Jessica about it we've argued.
I suffer from depression and anxiety, my sister is my only friend and one of the few people I feel completely comfortable around. Living with a stranger is just not an option but it's starting to feel like living with Jessica will be equally as stressful. How can I convince her to at least try and make an effort for my sake?
TL;DR: | Moving in with my sister in a couple of months. She is lazy and inconsiderate and I don't want to become her live in maid. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] mom [45F] has been borrowing and spending huge amounts of money from me. I need to end it. How do I handle this?
POST: My mom is living off of my own income and my student loans after leaving an abusive relationship with no money. Due to economic downturn lost her job 16 months ago and can't get back into her field, but refuses to get a lower paying out of pride. She is living completely off of me and my loan/part time job money, and it this point owes me about $30,000. It's getting to the point where I'm about to not be able to pay my bills, but I'm getting a new student loan and she's going to demand access to it as well as my income.
I know I need to break off my bank account for my own sake. What I'm worried about is how to deal with the guilt. Without my money, she will not be able to buy food. I work a part time job and I'm a student, I can't afford this anymore. She is spending ridiculous amounts on cigarettes and fast food, while I pace and worry over spending $10 on lunch and if it will break me for next month's bills. I've asked her to stop and she keeps taking my money. She is going to guilt me and hate me if I break the accounts. I just need to know how to handle it. She's my mom and I love her, but I need to say 'no more'. I'm angry as hell she's has put me so close to the edge of not being able to pay my own bills!
TL;DR: | My mom is borrowing and spending my income and student loan money. I'm very close to having $0 in my bank account. How do I deal with the guilt of letting her loose? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: When is it okay to bring this up?
POST: So I've been dating this guy for about a month and a bit now, and I'm at that point where we've talked about a couple of things in terms of what we want.
He has asked me what I think about marriage/children/open relationships/sexual interests etc.
I feel as though I don't want to be dishonest, but I'm feeling like I'm not ready to tell him how I feel about these things, because I want to know what his views of these things are first. I am someone who wants to get married and who wants to have kids, and am getting to that point where I don't just want to date anymore. If I'm going to date someone, I don't just want to date for the sake of it. I want to find that real lasting love. I may be young, but I'm finishing my degree this year.
I'm tired of dating and having casual short term relationships. There are a few things he's said to me over the course of these past 6 weeks or so. I said I didn't really want to have anymore first dates, and his response was "ever?" I guess I'm just concerned, because I want to make sure we're on the same page as each other one these things. He's in his thirties and I'm in my early twenties, but I don't want to scare him off by saying that I want to get married/have kids.
At the same time though, I don't want to invest myself mind/body/soul only to find out that we want different things, and until I feel as though we want the same things I don't really want to open up to him. I went through a really horrible break up a year and a half ago and have difficulty trusting people as a result.
TL;DR: | I don't know how to find out if I'm on the same page about marriage/kids as my SO and I don't want to waste my time. How do I bring up the topic without sounding desperate for these things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex[26M] broke up with me[25F] of 3 years because I told him I couldn't trust him...i feel like moving on to someone else..
POST: So my boyfriend let's call him Bob broke up with me recently because I had bad issues trusting him although he didn't give me a actual reason not to trust him. I just had a bad growing up and do not trust people easily.
There were instances he would hid his phone from me or lock his computer when I was home alone. When we broke up for about a month or so about a year ago.. he was already on dating sites and didn't tell me this information when we got together after I asked him if there was anything he should tell me so we can have a clean start. I found emails from a girl sending pics of her in underwear etc. I feel like I found it hard to believe to him after that like that's where it all went bad from there.
I came home to an empty apartment pretty much he just broke up with me while I was at work and couldn't have the decency to do it in person.. It broke my heart. I need to move on and so I recently started talking to an old friend who I find interesting and fun to be around were just friends for now.
Although Bob and I broke up like 3 days ago, I feel it's fast but I need to know if moving on after being together for so long like I owe it to myself or him to take some space. Reddit I need some advice.. What are your thoughts?
TL;DR: | boyfriend broke up with me via phone call and moved out his stuff while I was at work, because I had trust issues with him. I wanna move on and need help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [20M] ask my close friend [19F] out?
POST: OPTIONAL CONTEXT:
I have known her since I was 12, when we 'dated' in the 12-year-old sense. We didn't really speak to each other after that until the end of secondary school (age 16), when she started to show some interest in me. At this point I liked somebody else, so pretty much ignored her flirting until, during the summer between secondary school and college, she found a boyfriend.
During college (I think high school is the US equivalent) me, 19F and another male friend became very close, but I still didn't see her as more than a friend. The male friend started to develop feelings for her while she was still with her boyfriend. At a party, he decided to ask her out and was rejected. This made things awkward for a very short period but our friendship soon returned to normal.
During the summer after college (2013), she broke up with her boyfriend. The other friend went to university, and began to drift away from the two of us, who remained in our home town.
MAIN COURSE:
During winter 2013, I would go out with her and her friends quite often, and I thought I saw signals that she was interested. By this time I had started to crush on her, but didn't have the courage to tell her.
I've still seen her pretty regularly in situations with her other friends, and recently went for dinner with her a couple of times. Last night I was out with 19F, a few of our mutual friends and some of my friends who haven't seen us together before. My friends decided to intervene halfway through the night, telling me she had been staring at me adoringly for most of the night and 'dropping signals'. This is what prompted me to post this.
This would all be a lot simpler if it weren't for my having noticed that every time I see her, she will start off the way I've described and gradually become colder the longer I'm with her. I also am fucking terrified of ruining things between us because I value her friendship so much. Please somebody help me make sense of this.
TL;DR: | I want to ask a close friend out but have no clue how she feels and don't want to jeopardise our friendship |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: At what point do you end it?
POST: This is my first relationship after a 5 year ltr so could use some advice. Also, Im very over my ex but still in a long-term frame of mind as far as dating goes.
Gay relationship, both of us are guys between 24-27 and young professional types. Have only been dating for 4 months so this is really new. This is also his first relationship ever.
He's very much in the closet - no one know he's gay but me and this is causing strain in the relationship. Lack of communication, and now there's some distance. We both have busy careers so I can't be sure how much is stress or if it's lack of interest at this point.
At what point do you just end it? I find myself unhappy or frustrated more than I'm happy thinking about our relationship - but still kind of in a long term mindset that you just keep on trying.
TL;DR: | dating closet case and this is his first relationship ever, its not so great now, but should i wait and see if he gets more comfortable before ending it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] and SO[23 M] looking into a poly situation, jealousy issues
POST: We have been dating for three years and are crazy about each other, we practice bdsm regularly, and he knows that I'm pansexual and haven't been with a lady in quite some time.
So he started talking to a girl to try to set us up. Only I wasn't aware of this at first. They met at a party and she was into him and he explained he was taken.
We met her the other night and she was really sweet and has a lot of similar interests to us. But of course I'm massively insecure about us 'couple dating' her. I've had experiences in the past in which a poly situation has gotten out of hand due to jealousy, and of course this makes me nervous.
TL;DR: | I'm kinda gay, boyfriend tries to satisfy me by getting a girl, and I'm not sure how I feel yet. Anyone that has experienced this before is welcome to give advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: She [18/f] cheated on me [17/m]. I want her back?
POST: I'm sorry for coming to post such a boring subject, it's just that I'm becoming desperate. I have absolutely no one important to ask for advice, so I come to you that have more experience in relationships.
Basically we were dating for little more than 1 year. We are still both virgins, but we used to masturbate each other in a very good way, we liked it a lot. One time she kissed a guy in a party, which isn't very bad but it broke my confidence. This time she went to one of those huge vacations for teens in beaches and whatever. I knew she would do something, I was sure. And she did. She was with a guy two nights doing the things we do, the things that should be ours. Plus, she got her period the 3rd night, I can only imagine what would've happened if it wasn't like that.
I'm so confused. I still love her a lot, and I loved dating her and I want it back. I broke up with her and we've been talking. I'm not sure what to do. I said we were getting back together, but how long should I wait? I'm certain she will repeat so I guess the time I wait doesn't make a difference. Please. Help.
TL;DR: | She cheated on me. Not sex, but the special foreplay we had for us. I still love her, should I accept her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [31M] am very happily married to my wife [28F] but have had feelings for friend [28F] for over a year. Have cut nearly all contact with this woman for months. Not sure what to do.
POST: I'm [31M] very happily married to my wife [28F], and there's really no major issues in my marriage. I'm a Ph.D. student and took a seminar in another department last year with a woman, Jen. About a month in to the class Jen and I ended up talking after class about some research our respective labs were doing and had a nice talk about student life and research and other things, after which she asked me out. I was very clear about being married, she was very clear that she respected that and really enjoyed talking to me, and wanted to at least be friends. I have a male and female friends, all platonic, and didn't see this as an issue at all. My wife felt the same.
Jen and I would occasionally talk after class, and since we overlap in our circles of friends, I'd see her outside of class once or twice a month. We have overlapping interests outside of academia and got along really well.
Towards the end of that class I realized that I was actually starting to have romantic and sexual feelings for Jen, and with the class ending, used that as an excuse to not see her. I'm devoted to my wife and really, having feelings for another woman is uncomfortable and unwanted. I see Jen now only once or twice a month, usually just because we have those overlapping friend groups. We talk then, but it's very brief. We used to talk on Facebook during the class, but don't anymore. I've really made efforts to cut communication with this woman.
It's been nine months since the class ended and I've only talked to Jen a handful of times, but I miss her. As a friend, because we did get along well, but I'm also clearly attracted to this woman. I don't want these feelings to be there, and I'm not quite sure what to do about them. I've already cut her out of my life, contact-wise, and I'm not sure what else to do.
TL;DR: | Happily married and have developed feelings for another woman, who I have cut contact with, but feelings are still there. Uncomfortably so. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M23] want to rebuild a relationship with my ex [F20]. What are the best ways to help foster hope for us in the future?
POST: My ex and I have been broken up for about a month. She fell out of love. She said she felt like that for several months before the break up, but was slow to bring it to my attention. The more attention she brought to it, the more appropriate my reaction was, but in the end, neither of us fixed it fast enough and it was too late for her.
Now we are living separately. We were together for 3 years (living together for a year and a half) and we have a 15 month old son. She is currently seeing other people and says she hasn't gotten serious with anyone but
definitely likes the guy she is dating right now.
I personally have made several changes and have realized what I have lost with her gone. Both of us hate that's what it took, but I "get" what wasn't working and what will work if we got back together. I have made strides in several areas that are important to her and I'm trying to focus on being a good dad when I can.
What are some general tips that could help bring us back together in the long run? I'm not searching for a quick fix and understand she needs space, but how do I help her see us as the "right" choice in the future?
TL;DR: | Broken up after being together for 3 years. She is dating but I want to reforge our relationship in the future. How do I go about helping her come back around to us being the right choice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Have the next two weeks free, looking to push myself to the limit exercising with minimal equipment.
POST: Hey everyone first post on this account!
So as it turns out for the next two weeks or so I won't be doing too much. During this time I was hoping to kick myself back into an exercise routine as I have definitely been slipping for quite a while now.
My main focus will hopefully setting myself up for weight-loss while getting my body in a more healthy state. The problem is I only have access to limited work-out equipment.
As of right now I have access to a treadmill and some 10 and 15 pound weights. I can't really get to a gym with my current situation so this is what I have to work with. Now my main question to you guys is would an extreme cardio workout three(maybe even four) times a day be a good idea? I am really committed to pushing myself these next two weeks but don't have the knowledge on how to do it most effectively.
TL;DR: | I have two weeks free, looking to lose weight/get healthy by doing as much cardio as possible in that time, need help an advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Partner (31/m) contracted HPV (genital warts) while we were broken up & gave it to me.
POST: My boy friend and I (29/f) have been together about 2 years. In Feburary-March, we broke up & saw other people. I had been with one other person on 2 brief occasions & used protection. He had been with 5 or 6 people and didn't use protection every time. I've never tested positive for HPV or any other std in the past. We got back together & soon after at my most recent gyno exam I tested positive HPV.
I know HPV is a very common std so I wasn't terribly upset. My pap wasn't abnormal and I had no other symptoms so I figured it was a strain of HPV that would go away on its own. My boyfriend and I talked about it together and agreed that he more than likely contracted it from one of the people he had been with while we were split.
A month later my partner noticed a small cluster of warts on the top part of his shaft. I assume I have the same strain of HPV that causes genital warts as well but I am not showing any signs of lesions anywhere.
I haven't once made him feel bad about it nor has my sexual desire for him changed. I have been completely supportive & act as though nothing is different.
He has had the opposite reaction. He has become super insecure and much less interested in sex with me. I have a high sex drive like him and have been sexually frustrated by the lack of intimacy. He has so much shame surrounding the diagnosis causing him to completely lose his erection the few times we have tried (which has literally never happened before). His emotion over it comes out as anger
when I try to comfort him about it explaining that it doesn't bother me and I want him no matter what.
He responds saying that it doesn't matter that I don't care, I'm not the one who actually has warts and that I don't understand. It's frustrating bc I have the same exact strand of HPV that he likely gave to me.
How do I help him get over the shame in contracting this std??
TL;DR: | Boyfriend gave me HPV, I've been super supportive, he can't get over the shame and is sexually insecure now. How do I help him stop worrying about the stigma behind this particular std? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] can't stop feeling obsolete to my girlfriend [19 F]
POST: In short, I always feel obsolete to my girlfriend. She's more popular than I am, funnier than I am, more attractive than I am, and always manages to one-up me.
I have some blemishes on my ass, for example, where I was whipped by my mom when I was younger and now look like thumb nail sized zits. They're my biggest shame because of it and they're humiliating. She doesn't have a single blemish. She's already in shape but has decided to exercise while I can't due to my current situation due to not having time. She can have a much better diet, but do to my situation, I can't.
I get very angry at this which causes arguments, her asking what the hell she should do even though I told her she can do nothing. It's like an NFL star be your partner when you're just a normal player in a 2 man football competition. No, don't get worse, just stop making me feel obsolete!
I don't want to lose her, but always feeling second best is miserable...
__________
TL;DR: | I feel like the 1/10 that my girlfriend who's 9/10 is and want to stop feeling obsolete before I end up going too far and losing her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I don't want to step on the scale!! So I thought of a great idea to track weight loss and wanted to share with you!
POST: I don't want to step on the scale because I know how extremely heavy I've gotten. I feel like it will be really upsetting to me to see my starting weight, and that even when I lose weight I will be discouraged because I will still see how big the number is. But I discovered today that my digital scale can tell me my weight in kilograms. So I'm going to start doing that instead of pounds! I can still track my losses and see how much I'm losing, because I can convert JUST the amount that I've lost in to pounds if I want to. I think this will help me a lot! This way, I can still celebrate how many pounds I've lost without having to be discouraged by knowing exactly how heavy I still am.
TL;DR: | A digital scale can track your weight in kg so you can still celebrate your losses without having to be discouraged by how big the number in pounds might be. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24/M] partner just told me that I [20/F] am not his ideal woman, looks wise.
POST: From the beginning he told me who his ideal woman was, definitely not me. Here we are after being together for a while and I am still not his ideal, I'm changing my life situation, my bad traits and now my looks to try to please him but I have a horrible feeling that I will never be good enough. He told me flat out today he likes:
Blonde hair
Dark eye makeup/Pink Lips
Pale Skin
Flat Stomach
Any size Boobs
Thigh Gap
I am
Brunette (currently dying my hair blonde for him)
Dark eye makeup
Unearthly Pale, like Laptop tan kind of pale
Pudgy as fuck, I'm a gamer. I like to sit in and play games and eat pizza. fucking sue me.
and my boobs are ok
He basically is saying Jessica Nigri is his ideal woman and I am, I suppose, in his league. Which kind of makes me feel like I've been settled for a little bit. So I am moving the heavens and the earth to change my appearance, albeit not exactly how I am comfortable, for him but I feel like it is all in vain.
Honestly I'm breaking my back to make myself half of the woman this cosplayer is and I'm worried I'll go through all of the trauma (Kind of beat myself up about being chubby a lot since high school) to look like her and then find out I'm not as hot.
Feel free to say I'm being a little bitch, I'm just upset.
TL;DR: | I'm a chubby, tiny brunette and his ideal woman is Jessica Nigri. Should I be upset at him basically saying 'she's hotter than you and she always will be'? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a very fit [28 M/F] who has been with my GF [27 F] for 2.5 months, and wondering why she isn't showing interest in sex.
POST: I recently started dating a friend of a friend who is a year younger than me. She has a reputation for being a bit flaky and moody, but has been nothing of the sort with me. I genuinely enjoy spending time with her, and there is no shortage of physical contact/ physical flirting and making out/ petting during our dates.
We live in Dubai, and both live with our parents to save money. I'm making around USD 70k per annum but am saving up for a business I want to start. She's earning around $40k but is living with her parents to save cash.
We're both relatively experienced with sex, and I once suggested we rent out a hotel room and spend the night there in the middle of some heavy petting (not for that night but for later). It wouldn't work that night as she was on her period, but I said sure let's plan for later.
She sounded.... ok about it. Not excited or anything. Since then she has hinted that she wants to take it super slow with me. I'm not sure if this is a "he's special and I want to make this a long term" thing or "I'm not that attracted to him" thing.
I am a relatively decent looking guy but am in great shape; my recent drive for fitness has increased my sex drive incredibly. I'm funny, get along with her friends (and vice versa). I am very frustrated. I wanted to know if anyone else had this experience?
TL;DR: | Why is it that some girls hold back on sex? Is it low sex drive? Lack of attraction? Holding out to develop the relationship? All of the above? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I missed my chance to go to uni with my friends and now I realize how bad I messed up.
POST: I had the chance 1 year ago to go to uni for automotive mechanics with my 2 best friends. I worked with them at the same dealership got 2 years and I said no to school because I didn't want to be a mechanic. They went to school and I quit the dealership because I hated it. But now 1 year later I'm terribly upset with my decision because I'm stuck in a state of depression and I feel so alone. I realize now that the times I spent working with them were the best times of my life. Now they are almost done their second year and I don't even have a job. They are going somewhere and I'm lost. I've been trying to get a job at another dealership but I can't find anything. My last chance to go up school with a friend is this January and spots are filling up fast. I'm scared of new things and new people because I have anxiety. I freak out lately and I can't find help. I really need someone right now but I can't tell people how I feel. I'd do anything to go back to my old job just to be in an environment I feel safe in because. I know everyone at the dealership. I spent 6 years at this place and I'm only 20. I'm scared that I won't become anything or anything and idk what to do.
TL;DR: | I'm lost and I missed my chance to go to uni with people that ease my anxiety. Now I'm freaking out about gong to school alone and being alone |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] ended it with my [22 F] GF because she cheated on me, and is now dating that guy, but there's a bit more to it.
POST: I dated a girl for all of 2013, we were both in the same college and met through an event held on campus. At the time I met her she had a boyfriend, but after getting to know her for a month and infideliously hooking up with her, I decided to date her.
We fell in love, deeply, psychoanalyzed each other heavily, distanced ourselves from others in an us against the world type thing.
Fast forward a year and she confesses to having hooked up with someone else weeks prior, so I end it with her. A week later she is dating the guy she cheated on me with, her alleged platonic 'best friend' of the past year.
I'm truly not that surprised, I mean, I HAD done the same thing with her a year prior, I just never thought that it would happen to me.
I see her together with her new BF now and it breaks my heart. I understand looking the other way is my best bet, and that time heals, but i get so anxious and livid when reminded of them via their presence. I'd consider myself to be an emotional person, and an even more emotional lover.
I hate being uncomfortable on my own campus. I hate my ex for what she did to me, and how she doesn't understand how her actions effect others. Her and her new BF are just going to have the same problems that her and I did. Shes feeling a void starting a relationship with him while still heartbroken from us. I need advice.
Maybe I should contact her other ex BF and be like "Hey dude she did the same thing to me!"
TL;DR: | GF cheated, I see her + new BF around campus - want to kick his face in/How do I avoid anxiety? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23f] whatever she is now of 5 years [26f] I'd pretty much a drain on my soul but is helpless. I feel like I can't leave.
POST: Edit: Title should say Is not I'd. Oopsie-daisy.
We've been together since 2010, things started to fizzle out in late 2013 when she got major depression. Counseling is an option she has only recently started actively involving herself in, we haven't had sex in 10 months since she no longer loves me or is really stable enough to love anyone, my job is awesome and I make good money for a 23 year old woman ($76k salary) but at this point the relationship is hurting me so much.
She wasn't able to find steady work due to the depression and is negative money every month so I am funneling her about $300 a month. I don't care about that because I have so much excess money. But she only has about $300 in her bank account and alternates between sleeping and crying for most of the day or being wracked with anxiety over whether or not she is going to be homeless.
I am heavily into BDSM and this was my submissive and above all my best friend. I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility for her and she has no living family. I am honestly very concerned about something awful happening to her and I feel like if I cut her loose at her lowest and she failed I would never forgive myself.
Not being intimate with anyone is killing me though and I don't have it in me to play psychologist.
I'm really just exhausted, and have no idea what to do regarding this girl.
TL;DR: | Partner is depressed, draining me but is honestly mentally helpless at this point and I care deeply about her recovering. Not sure what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25M] Don't know what to do, we had fun but then she [25F] went cold turkey on me.
POST: So i met her on Okcupid. By the time we started talking on the phone, the first night we were up til 5 am video chatting and playing games. It was great. We have a ton of common interests, I was relieved to actually see she has her stuff together which is a huge change of pace for me. She invites me over the next day to meet her friends and she keep complimenting me the whole night. It was amazing. We 'meshed' very well, So well that she invited me back again the next day, and the next. At this point I make it clear that I am not trying to move too fast and I am willing to go as slow into this relationship that she needs and feels comfortable with. She smiles, tells me thats another reason why she likes me is because im considerate.
Jump to a few days later, talking to her is like pulling teeth. The day after I last saw her it was as if it were a different person, she still said to call and text her. I would, nothing too clingy or pestering. I call and she tells me she will call me back after she eats. Hours go by and i hear nothing. Its been like this and it is driving me nuts because I am not that kind of person who is good at reading these sudden mixed signals. Im pretty hurt right now but I am making sure to not be needy at all. I ask a female friend of mine who plays these kinds of games all the time and she said that she was testing me to see how I would respond. Also the last time I talked to her I asked if I could ask her a question and she says "as long as its not about some bullshit" I asked "what is bullshit" she replies "Stuff like why havent I seen or heard from you"
Honestly I don't know what to do and its screwing with me. This sucks for me a lot because i have not met anyone like her just yet. I also have not heard from her in roughly 24 hours
TL;DR: | Met her online, we hit it off. She asks me to stay 3 nights in a row. Now she is very distant and I dont know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] feel left out because of housing and it sucks
POST: Hi everyone,
So this really isn't a big issue, and I know I will get over and move on and so on, but I want to type it out. It helps...
Anyway, I'm a sophomore in college and have a had a really tight group of 3 friends since I got here. We've been close, and while we all have other friends too, it all comes back to the four of us.
Anyway, everything was going great and all, until I found out last week that the other three were planning to live without me and with another guy next year. The apartment they are moving into would fit four people, and no there are not larger apartments they would be willing to live in. This obviously hurts and makes me question how close we actually are.
I realize that maybe they aren't as close to me as I am to them, which is definitely not a good feeling, but I am also not an impractical person and I know I have to do something about it instead of just letting it eat at me.
I am already trying to branch out a bit more than I already have and form closer bonds with some of my "just alright" friends outside of the group. Another option is to to talk to them, but I don't have any idea what that would accomplish because I know they are already set on the living arrangement.
Besides branching out what else can I do? I'm still hanging with the other three (as well as my "replacement") quite a bit, and I am really trying to branch out, but to be honest this all just makes me feel lonely, which is a new feeling for me. I'm really used to being the happiest person in the room so this is kind of weird.
Just wanted to type that out.
TL;DR: | My closest friends are living without me next year, and I'm not really close enough to anyone else to make me not feel like a lonely piece of shit right now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (M23) is upset that I (25F) may occasionally use sleeping pills.
POST: Hey Reddit. So lately my anxiety has been through the roof and usually when that's the case I have a really hard time sleeping because my mind is just active. I cope with my anxiety in other ways, healthy ways, like running, hobbies, reading, etc. and don't always reach for sleeping pills. In fact, this is the first time I've bought any in over a year. I honestly just wanted to be out and have a good night of rest. I bought MidNite, a natural sleep inducer type pill, supposedly drug free. It's not an every night thing and I only use them when I'm sleeping at my apartment, so never around him. I made the mistake of talking to him on the phone one night while on them (was slightly out of it, like anyone who would be super drowsy) and he just said he hated it and if I continued to use them it would be a problem for our relationship. I don't abuse them in any way and I don't go out of my way to make conversation with him while on them or act a fool, I just sleep and I sleep good. I've only used them 3 times since I bought the box last week and to be honest this box will probably last me the next 6 months but I want to still be able to use them if I feel so inclined and not have to hide it. To my knowledge, there is no history of anyone on his side of the family that has a problem with drugs or what have you. He does have a problem with anything that alters the state of mind though (weed, medication, alcohol) and I'm sure that's where this is stemming from. How can we come to some sort of compromise on this?
TL;DR: | boyfriend says he has a problem with me using sleeping pills and will probably lead to a break up if I were to continue to use them throughout the relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My BF (28) can talk about everything under the sun, except his feelings for me (F/28)
POST: Ive been dating my bf (M/28) for 6 months. I know its early, but I have very strong feelings for him, and I am optimistic about our future. Except for one thing. My boyfriend can talk about ANYTHING for hours on end, except his feelings for me. I know 6 months is early, so Im trying not to push it (and I know you cant force it), but I would really like to hear ANY verbal affirmation of his feelings.
I know he likes me because we spend a lot of time together and he has invited me to his family reunion in July and other concerts and events that are a few months into the future. He also is fairly good at being affectionate, which is important to me too. So, the physical affection and the willingness to let me into his life makes me feel guilty for wanting MORE affirmation than the non-verbal cues he has already given. But dammit, I need to hear it! Why is it so hard? Are my expectations unreasonable for the amount of time we've been together? At what point do I say- this is what I need to continue this relationship?
Also, he gets really defensive anytime I try to bring it up. He says it makes him feel like hes not a good bf or that he isnt doing enough.
TL;DR: | My bf of 6 months gets defensive when I try to tell him I need to hear how he feels about me and refuses to say it out loud, even though he gives affection other ways. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend always pretends she is dead
POST: Hey Reddit, I was hoping to get some advice about a problem I've been having with my SO.
First off, we are both 22 (M & F), finishing our last year of college. We've been together almost 6 months, and I really do adore her, aside from this one kind of weird behavioral trait. We have very similar interests, share many mutual friends, and get along on a day-to-day basis quite well.
The problem is that every few weeks, she gets it into her head that I don't appreciate her enough. I'll think everything is going well, and then out of the blue, she'll accuse me of taking her for granted. I really don't think this is the case, as I go out of my way to compliment her and say "I love you" almost every day.
Anyways, when this happens, she'll demand that we do this "couple-building activity" where she pretends she is dead. She'll light some candles, play "Amazing Grace" (the song they played at my grandfather's funeral a few years back), lay in bed, and cover herself with a sheet. Then I am supposed to kneel down and say some "last words" to her. She gets pissed if I don't cry, sometimes withholding sex as punishment.
I've always known that she has some self-esteem issues, but this seems a little much. I've tried talking to her about it, but she just gets defensive and says that this activity is necessary for me to grow emotionally and our relationship to grow stronger. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her, but I can't keep mourning her death every few weeks.
So tell me Reddit, does this sound like normal behavior? How can I show her that I appreciate her without doing this activity?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend doesn't think that I appreciate her enough, so every few weeks she makes us do a couple-building activity where she pretends to be dead while I give her eulogy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Negotiate an Internship Salary?
POST: So I've been in talks for a Process Engineering Internship position within a Fortune 500 company, and they called this afternoon to say that they want to hire me, and to call back next morning. I assume this is to discuss salary and relocation before the initial offer, so should I try to negotiate a better offer?
Some background: I'm one of very few candidates if there are even any others as this Internship was not ever listed on the company website, nor did they do any formal "On-Campus Interviews". I met a recruiter at our career fair and was called a few weeks later. After that the process went really quickly, with a phone interview, in-person a week later, and then a week after that this call. This is my only offer so far, although I have interviews planned with a few other not as good companies, and would be a great opportunity. However, I have heard that they tend to underpay their Interns (who wouldn't).
So,
TL;DR: | would it be improper to negotiate for an Internship Salary? And would there be any risks to them withdrawing from negotiations entirely? How would I best go about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I just got kicked out of my house by my Mother. who has Consistently given up on me 3 times in the past 6 years (I'm 18 now) and kicked me out on 1 previous occassion. What do I do?
POST: Hey. So I'm not even going to post this on a throwaway account. I thought my life was going pretty good. I had a decent job in the E-sports industry, maintaining and producing content for a gaming community / website called prolificgamers as well as streaming the games I played.then today for next to no reason. My mother does it again and just up and decides to kick me out.
Her reason is that: I changed the internet cable that connected me to my router because I needed a longer one as I was rearranging my room.
I don't know what to do. She gave me until Tomorrow morning to get out of the house. I have managed to get temporary Accommodation but I don't know WTF I am supposed to do now.
My dream has and always will be to be able to live purely off of the E-sports industry, I am an Above average League of Legends player, and eventually want that to be my Job. I'm left feeling as if my Mother never supported me, and completely let down. My dad has been the only thing in my life really supporting me, and even that has been very on and off, sometimes not contacting me for months. I just.. Need some support from you guys right now. Give me some advice, I will be checking back and editing my post, answering questions and giving more information as requested.
Right now I am in the process of packing up some Clothes and stuff, before catching a train in around an hour down to my dads house.
Oh for anyone Wondering I'm in the UK. Bristol is where I am right now, but I am about to move down to Salisbury.
I'm sorry to make a post here Like this. But I literally have no where to go, and No one to talk to.
Have a good day reddit, I hope to speak to you all soon.
TL;DR: | Give a guy who has been repeatedly let down by his mother some advice on what to do after just getting kicked out and not knowing what I am doing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidently having a threesome with my GF and her best friend
POST: I accidently posted this during a weekday, and it got deleted. Like many TIFUs here, this happened a few years ago. I was reading someone elses post about threesome FU and wanted to write about my experience too. Sorry about any mistakes, English is not my native language.
My (ex) GF (lets Call her A) has a best friend (lets call her N) that moved away a few months before.
N came to visit A by staying over for the weekend. I didn't really bother them and let them enjoy their time together. On saturday evening I was walking over to my friends place and I meet A and N outside, on their way to head out to a bar. We talk for a bit, then we go our ways. I head to my friend for a few hours. Later we also decide to og out. And we og to the closest bar around the corner from his place. There I see A and N drinking and just playing pool. My friend and I join and we all play some pool. My friend leaves a little after.
A few hours later we are all drunk. I usually sleep over at A's place and unlike other nights I went home with her. We were just sitting in the sofa in the living room. We played some drinking games, got even drunker and out of no where A and N start making out. I get excited and cheer them on. Then they move into the bedroom. N starts to undress A, and goes down on her. This is where I join in and start making out with A. Shortly after N and me are both licking A, while also making out together.
I take out my meat and start having secks with A missionary style, after a while N wants the D too, and goes doggy style over A. I somehow pull out of A and insert into N. This is where it all goes to hell.
My jealous GF, immedietly gets turned off, pushes N off her, and goes into a "dont talk to me" mode.
After N left. They barely spoke again, and I ruined my relationship with A.
TL;DR: | GF was having her bestfriend over for the weekend. I met up with them and we all got drunk. I had sex with my both my GF and her bestfriend and complicated their friendship and our relationship. |
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