prompt
stringlengths 73
2.47k
| completion
stringlengths 71
279
|
|---|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16/M] have a huge hopeless crush on my friend's [16/M] older brother [21/M]. Help!
POST: My friends and I hang out a couple of times a week after school. Generally we go to Tom's house, because it's close to our school, huge, and he has the best entertainment center. Tom has two older brothers, but the one I'm crushing on is Grayson.
Grayson's always been super friendly, and I've always thought he was cool. He's recently graduated and moved back home, so I've been seeing him a lot more and it's been terrible. I've started noticing how handsome and smart and funny he is, how he's nice and hangs out with his little brother's nerdy friends when he doesn't have to (sometimes even driving us places and getting us food!) I'm always tongue-tied or very quiet around him, but no one's said anything.
My best friend (not Tom) says that it's an understandable crush and I'll probably get over it once Grayson moves out. I want to get over it now! This is the first intense crush I've had since I realized I was gay, and it's on an unobtainable straight guy. It's really embarrassing and I just feel like an idiot.
TL;DR: | I have a huge crush on my friend's older brother and it's making me feel like crap. How do I get over it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting too high
POST: This happened about a week ago. Also, some embarrassing background on me : Sometimes I have a hard time controlling my bladder. Usually it's just a minor leak but there have been a few times when it's more.
Anyways, I'm in a sorority and chapter (weekly mandatory meetings) can get pretty boring. So I got high with some sisters. But their shit is really fucking strong.
I get to the house baked, intensely paranoid and freaking out when someone comes to talk to me (at this point I'm wondering who's most likely to be an alien). We start lining up for chapter and I sit in the front row. Up until this point my body was numb, but suddenly I realize I need to pee really badly. I try to hold it in but tensing my muscles end up making it worse and a little comes out.
I can't get up because attendance just started and there are around 100 girls to get through. My heart is pounding as I silently beg the roll call to end soon; meanwhile I can feel it start to trickle. Finally attendance is over with and I ask to go to the restroom preying that in moving to get up I don't unleash the wrath of my bladder.
Get to the bathroom only to find that I didn't wet myself, I didn't even really have to pee. In my massive paranoia I made the whole thing up. This leads me to question reality and I get scared to leave in case the pee dwelling comes back.
TL;DR: | I got incredibly high for chapter, thought I was slowly peeing myself, only to realize that I was so paranoid/baked my mind made it up and I stayed in the bathroom until I came down from my high |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18/F] told my boyfriend [19] I was really falling for him and he replied with "thanks"
POST: So I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a month now, but we were seeing dating exclusively for about a month before that. We go to university together so we are apart for the summer. Went down to London this weekend to visit him for his birthday, met his family and friends from home and it all went really well.
One morning I told him I was really falling for him and his reply was "awww thanks, you're lovely too" which was a bummer. For the past fortnight or so I've been thinking that I am starting to fall in love with him but get worried that I'm getting ahead of myself and too emotional (I tend to fall for people very quickly and don't really trust my emotions that much because of it) then I convince myself that I shouldn't tell him incase he doesn't feel the same yet and in case I'm moving too fast.
I really really wanted to say it but instead "just thought I'd let you know that I'm really really falling for you" came out, I thought ok cool at least I've gotten some my feelings out kind of and when he replied with that I just felt kinda upset.
He's not really a soppy/romantic kind of guy so that may be a factor, I just didn't know how to reply. First thing I said was "did you just say thanks?" then we just kinda went back to being sleepy then changed conversation which in retrospect wasn't the best reply haha, now I don't know whether to apologise or what. I always tend to apologise for being soppy
**About a month ago he casually told me he loved me whilst drunk**, I've been waiting for a time to express my feelings for a while now since I hadn't seen him for about 3 weeks so I was kinda embarrassed to get that response
anyone been through the same/have any advice?
additional info which may be of use: We've been had pretty much exactly the same experience with relationships - our first ones lasted 3 years so its not as if he hasn't been in a serious relationship before
TL;DR: | Me: "I'm really really falling for you" Boyfriend: "Aww thanks, you're lovely too" huh? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22f] am actively searching for a new job, but unsure how to confront my boss [38f] when the time comes.
POST: Hi, r/relationships. (Longtime lurker.)
I've never disliked my job until a month ago. My work is going through some big changes that would be otherwise positive if not for some worrying details:
- As part of all the changes, I've technically been promoted, but haven't received any raise to compensate for the added responsibilities and my boss has made no indication that I would in any near future. Since taking on this added role, I've worked well over 60 hour weeks.
- During our recent restructuring, my boss purposefully strung along other employees, waiting until the very last minute to break bad news because those employees might've resigned earlier. My boss and I have always had a good relationship, but I am now scared for myself. What is she not telling me?
- As these latest changes take complete effect, I'm beginning to realize that my boss won't task me with anything significant and has opted to let my counterparts take on the meat of what I should be doing to further my professional growth. I feel marginalized and used (the difference between my bill rate and salary rate is probably astronomical).
That all said, I do still feel obligated (?) to my boss. She gave me my first real opportunity as a fresh college grad, and I've come a long way because of her, but as my SO likes to remind me, business is business. When the time comes, how do I leave on a good note? Is it even possible? I don't know if I'd call her a bitter woman, but she definitely takes things personally--doubly so now with the stress of these new changes.
TL;DR: | Job is starting to suck. Actively searching for other opportunities, but unsure how to eventually confront boss and not burn that bridge. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22] am not sure how much texting is too much texting to a guy [22] who rarely responds.
POST: So I met said guy a little while ago, perhaps a month, and we hit it off fairly quickly. To date, we've only had three real dates because his job takes him out of town so frequently, but those three dates have been mind blowing. I definitely have developed feelings with him, strong feelings, not the intense, limerent kind but the constant, strong kind where you feel nervous but safe and comfortable at the same time and you don't need to imagine your future together because you can feel the potential in your bones. I'd really love to get to know him better. The last time I saw him, we were only in town together for a few days, but he saw me for two of those days. He told me that I can always talk to him, no matter how busy he is, and I love texting him whenever I think of something I want to share with him. I love that we're not a clingy pair, that we don't have to be together every five minutes, that we're young and I can pursue my goals and dreams and he can pursue his, and I know the time will pass quickly enough and we'll see each other again. I just don't want to push him away with too many texts or make him feel guilty for not responding to them. I know he's busy, and I don't want to inundate him. How many texts is an appropriate number of texts? I almost feel like this is a silly question to ask, but I really would hate to be "that girl" or make him feel guilty or clung to in any unwanted way, shape, or form.
TL;DR: | Guy I like is frequently busy with work and I don't want to make him feel uneasy about our textual relationship. Thanks, Reddit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The girl [19] i'm dating can't see me for a few weeks. How do I [23] keep this going so early on in the relationship?
POST: Hey! So she needs to study for exams and assignments etc and with our schedules not lining up, she can't see me for about three weeks. We've known each other for over a month, been on about 3 official dates, and seen each other casually a bit more than that and we're both clear that we'd like to take it further with the view of a serious relationship. But, I don't get the feeling that her feelings for me are strong enough to last 3 weeks, considering it's early days and as a pretty girl she has a number of guys hanging around and I don't know whether her feelings for me are strong enough to wait (she says i'm the only guy she's seeing and I believe her but don't know if it's only because other guys haven't made a move yet or something. I know of other guys she's interested in that are texting her that she could easily potentially jump over to, plus her ex boyfriend is circling, who she admits she still has feelings for).
I really like her (unfortunately i've fallen for her, despite people telling me not to get too invested so early on). I'm worried that without physical contact, and with the potential for other guys to fill my place in her day-to-day life if she comes into contact with them, as perhaps their schedules match up or whatever, i'll lose her. I've had this happen before, so I kind of anticipate this happening now since this seems to be how it goes. I said to her casually to 'stick around' and not go anywhere, meaning and implying that I hope we can continue when she's available next. She said 'can't promise I won't' but am not sure if she's joking...but I would have liked a committed answer as it kind of seems to me like she was only half joking and shows she's not entirely keen on me to promise she won't go off with someone else.
So how do I keep this going if we can't meet?
TL;DR: | Can't see girl i've recently started dating for the next 3 weeks or so. How do I keep this up without her becoming disinterested and exploring other options in the interim? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting distracted by Reddit at work
POST: First post: During the summer, I work at a day camp for kids. Us counsellors have the duty to make sure everyone is safe. A no cell phone rule was instated so that we could focus on the kids.
Fuck up: Today I was on playground duty watching like 8 kids play; I was bored out of my skull. I decided to sneak to my car to get my phone. So I'm browsing Reddit and I ended up watching some music video. After it ended, though, a faint noise that almost sounded like someone crying kept playing. I assumed that the app glitched so I continued with my browsing. I briefly looked up and realized another senior counsellor running over to a girl who was crying, bleeding from the mouth, and missing teeth. She was in this state for about 2 minutes, according to other kids. I would have tended to her immediately but she was already on her way to the medic with the other worker. I feel like shit and might get fired if someone finds out I was on my phone. To reassure you guys that I am not a complete asshole, and have been chosen as counsellor of the week many times, just one fuck up I swear!
TL;DR: | browsed Reddit at work when I shouldn't have, girl falls and breaks face, didn't notice immediately, look like negligent asshole. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (16/M) and I (16/F) have very different views on how animals should be treated...
POST: This has been a tough topic over all for us to talk about and he gets absolutely pissed at me when I allow my dog or his dog to come cuddle with us or sit with us.
We are hoping for a long term relationship, it's been a wonderful six months and yes we're in high school and love is young and all that good fun stuff. Trust me, we've heard it. We've heard it even from our parents, although my mom hopes for us to remain together even after we graduate.
He's a wonderful boy who respects me, my parents, he's often quiet and shy, and he only opens up really to me. I trust him for the most part, and he trusts me.
The problem is our view on animals.
He believes that animals should be treated exactly as that: animals. Sleep on the floor, not allowed on the furniture, locked outside most of the day, kept out of certain areas of the house, stuff like that. Basically little human contact. He thinks that if they're not treated like this, they'll think they run the house.
On the other hand, I was raised where animals were treated as members of the family. Even now, my dog lays curled up at the foot of my bed. They're allowed on the furniture with blankets laid down over it, they can sleep in the beds all they want, they're allowed where ever we are, and they're given as much love and attention as if they were a child. I honestly can't sleep unless I feel my dog curled up on my legs at night.
Is there a way to compromise this in the future? I can't stand seeing a puppy locked up and it would break my heart to have to see any dog locked outside all day with little human contact and then being told they're bad for wanting to cuddle up with their owners.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I disagree on how animals should be treated. He sees them as animals, I see them as family members. Is there a way to compromise this for the future? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My mother is insistent on making my 5 year old pray before bed when he stays at her house regardless of how much it bothers me. How can I convince her to respect my (non)religious and parenting beliefs?
POST: Some background: My mom converted to Mormonism when I was 2 and I was brought up in the church. After thirteen years of hypocrisy, bigotry, and endless amounts of guilt every time I didn't "Choose the Right" I apostatized at 15. I'm now 23 and haven't set foot in a church since then.
My mom still goes to church and I don't have a problem with it, she's an adult and can make her own decisions. However I decided early on that I don't want my five year old son brought up to be religious because of my experiences with religion. I recently discovered that when she babysits him overnight she makes him pray with her before bed.
When I found this out I immediately stated that I was uncomfortable with it, which led to my son having a melt down because he suddenly wants to pray. She's indoctrinating him against my will and I don't know how to get her to stop without severing contact. If anyone has any ideas about how I can deal wit this I would deeply appreciate input.
TL;DR: | My mom is indoctrinating my 5 year old into a religion that I don't believe in. How do I convince her to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my SO [20F] of 2 years, having kids is a dealbreaker.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years and we moved in together just 2 months ago
In recent talks, it's come to light that she HAS to have children.
She has said, that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone, who doesn't want to have children with her some day in the next 10 years.
The thing is we've never talked about it, it's just been said here and there and I've put it together in the time we've lived together.
I don't want children, however I do want her.
I want nothing more, than to be fair to her, and treat her the best way possible. But I don't want children.
What are your thought and suggestions?
TL;DR: | Having children is a dealbreaker for my SO, but I don't want any. I want to treat her right, what should I do/think about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27M] Have a crush on an [Mid 20F] Extremely Extroverted Girl at a Coffee Shop
POST: As the title would suggest, there is a very extroverted girl that i have a crush on. She works out a coffee shop that i visit every so often. She remembers what we have talked about with in the past, and we have a very flirty back and forward type convo.
This happens often, unlike the other girls that work there.
She just always makes such great eye contact with me, and is into similar things as myself. Its just a uncommon feeling, feels like we have known each other for awhile. When we talk one on one, we are in our little world. Last time she changed my order around and we chatted for a good 5-10minutes.
Anytime i get the chance to talk with her, I will. She is always very welcoming, no signs of being cold. I have been seeing her at job for 3-4 months now at this point.
Just hard to tell if she is being special with me, or just is really sweet/outgoing/extroverted. What signs can you look for with extroverted girls that are friendly to alot of people?
She have never seen me without my facial hair, that i randomly shaved off today. So it will be interesting to see her reaction, as i still have recognizable tattoos. Then just see if she wants to go vinyl shopping. #OnlyInPortlandOr
TL;DR: | Signs Extroverted girls give when they like a guy. Outside of just ask her, duh i'm alittle shy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my Ex [18 F] of 2 months randomly broke up with me...Really confused
POST: She is Bi if it has to do with anything.
Me and my ex dated for 2 months and everything seemed fine and dandy and I never felt this way about a girl before. This was for both of us our first "serious" relationship that pretty much lasted more than a week. So we go to a party with her coworkers and shes having a blast while I'm having a decent time (not really my crowd).
So after the party I kiss her goodbye then she heads off to a concert for the weekend with some of her coworkers. We text a bit during that time but mostly just short bursts. So the next day at school I sit with her friends and we just do our work together and whatnot. So I decide to text her to see how her ride is going because its a 9 hour drive back to our town...
No response...But she does manage to update her snapchat story saying the concert was a blast. She texts me 9 hours later saying shes back in town and I just respond in a one word answer because
I'm kinda salty. Then I get a text saying shes mad at me...what?
Apparently her friends said I was being an ass to them during class and we got into an argument over that (our first argument). Personally I thought the argument was stupid and didn't call for her saying shes done but I guess not.
So the next day at school I apologize to her friends for being an ass but apparently I wasn't and they just said we were goofing around. So I just walked away.
So at the end of school we decide to talk and she tells me shes not ready for a relationship and says she still likes me but doesn't. But would still like to be friends...And its not me its her.
So now I'm sitting here really confused and pretty much couldn't get a straight answer out of her after talking.
I still like this girl and want to get back together but she doesn't feel the same.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me saying she doesn't want a relationship right now. I still like her what do I do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22 M) broke up with girlfriend (22 F) couple of months ago on good terms due to long distance, doesn't want to talk to me.
POST: Had a really good relationship with ex girlfriend throughout senior year of college, never had any issues except where we would be after we graduated (from different parts of the country). I thought it was best to end things toward end of school year but did it in an awful fashion while inebriated. We got back together and dated through summer long distance. It was fun she flew across country to visit me. I started work in another part of the country and I found it difficult to reciprocate how much she was putting into the relationship and I hated it cause I truly cares about this girl but was not ready for the difficulty in long distance.
She visited a month after I moved to my new city and had an awesome weekend together and changed how I felt about ending things. On the last day here she brought up how it felt I wasn't putting as much in anymore and I agreed and I felt it wasn't fair to her for me to be distracted and not meet her 50/50 on the relationship and from there I thought it was best to end it rather than string her a long for a period of time and hoping the issue would fix itself. While at the time I thought it was the best move, I think about her all the time/really miss her and feel like I made the wrong decision. I've tried to reach out to her when I'm in the same town as her(she's still a student at our alma mater so I have visited frequently). And she had declined my requests to get lunch or anything. She's unfollowed me on all social media idk if it's cause she's just so over me or she doesn't want bad feelings to arise.
Is she just so over me or is she just trying hard to keep any feelings for me from coming back.
TL;DR: | Perfect relationship ended due to long distance, keeps distant from me on social media and declines any chance to talk or catch up. What is going on in her mind? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (22/M) of 7 months might be on a dating app while dating me (20/F)?
POST: So I've been having problems with my boyfriend in the aspect where completely out of nowhere he stopped caring. He's not jealous like he used to be, he doesn't want to change or anything, doesn't want to talk anything out if we're having problems, doesn't speak to me like he used to or try to keep a conversation going. It seems like its all on me.
He would even mood swing and break up with me then completely regret it/take it back moments or a day later.
But after him being on his android phone while I was with him I noticed on the top left of his screen a black heart notification with a white chat box around it. Can anyone tell me what app that is (because I'm scared to think that it's a dating app notification)
I've googled it for I don't know how long and barely anything comes up on it. Can someone please help?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend might be on a dating app while dating me. Can someone tell me what symbol for the white chat box with a black heart in it is from google play? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Should I lend a friend money to avoid court on credit card?
POST: My closest friend is in a financial bind with had a credit card they didn't pay off and now they are calling to settle it/payments, or go to court.
* They made a deal to pay $300/wk for the next few weeks then $200/month to settle.
* Friend makes $400/wk, and has bills coming up and won't be able to pay rent/bills if they make the next payment.
* They're asking me for $300 to 'borrow'. Which I do have but am trying to save money to pay off my taxes, credit card debt and am in the midst of trying to switch jobs.
I know I probably wouldn't get the money back if ever, and one suggestion I've read is that it's better to take them out for a coffee and try to help them sort their finances.
I've thought of lending them some of the money, or lending the money on the condition that they take a virtual personal finance course (I've already paid for) with me.
This person has never asked me for money/financial help in the past. I am the last person on their list of family that they're trying to get help from.
My friend does not drink/smoke/gamble or have any other issues that would concern me with lending money. My SO pointed out that it may affect the friendship I have with this person.
TL;DR: | Friend needs $300 for a payment for a credit card settlement or else they go to court. I am their last resort. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[21,F] in laws[50's,M,F] have issues with what my husband[31,M] and I do with our money.
POST: My husband[31,M] and I[21,F], have have been married over a year, handle our money very well and as a result we are able to buy nice things. Every time we spend money my in-laws[50's,F,M], his parents, get pissed off at us. We have never borrowed money from them at all.
They spend large amounts of money on "antiques"(broken furniture from the mid to late 1970's) and leave it to rot in their garages(they have 3 garages full of junk). They are both able to work and are not retired.
They even expected us to give them my husbands car, and pay the insurance and gas for them.
When my husband or I try to talk to them about it they say its not fair that we have that stuff. They also think its not fair that my house is cleaner than theirs, thats because I clean everyday and they don't, they are both capable of cleaning they just don't want to.
We want to keep in contact but we're at a lose on how to handle this.
TL;DR: | In laws criticize how we handle money and want our car, but still want us to pay the insurance and gas.And their angry our house is clean. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Caught my 11yo daughter forging my name...
POST: ...shes always been an exceptional student, top of her class, in advanced courses. Struggling a little with the adjustment to middle school, which I expected. Shes already on slight restriction for her math grade dropping significantly. Shes recently started to "act dumb" with common sense stuff. This is something I see her friends doing regularly. This behavior goes along with just general behavioral issues like laziness, irresponsibility, and stupid lies that I was attributing to the coming puberty situation.
Get an email from her teacher today telling me the signature she asked for on a bad assignment didnt look right, so she wanted to verify it was me. I told her it wasnt, and that I would handle the situation appropriately, and thanked her for informing me.
Now I am becoming concerned that this could be the beginning of more serious behavioral issues, and want to nip the situation in the bud. Any suggestions for a punishment here? Shes already had her electronics taken away, (computer, mp3 player, video games, tv) during the week. Thinking of extending that through the weekend and 2 weeks longer in duration.
I want to get the gravity of the situation across, but I dont want to come down too hard and possibly promote more of this behavior. Gimme punishment ideas reddit.
TL;DR: | Generally well behaved honor students grades and behavior are slipping, she forged my name on a bad assignment, need punishment ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: hey reddit, i like to think that i've got interesting and meaningful things to add to conversations but when i go to say or even sometimes type them out, i fail. How can i fix this??
POST: hey reddit, i'm 21 and haven't done any serious drugs. i've tried shrooms 4 times but the last time i did it was 2 years ago (started 4 years ago). I didn't really start smoking pot until 4 years ago and didn't smoke that much (more than 1 a month) until last year (sept-jan of 09-10) where i smoked an average of twice a day, everyday. I've smoked literally 3 times since january because i'm kind of sick of being high and feel like being sober for a while.
I've been like this since grade 10 (6 years ago) but am wondering if it's my lifestyle or if i'm just incapable of expressing myself.
I used to read a lot (shit books, and i have a bad habit of skimming and just reading the gist of the storyline, never remembering or paying attention to names or details) but stopped reading once i started university (4 years ago) and just recently have tried to start again. I'm finding it difficult but i assume that's just because i've let my brain turn to mush as all i've done is watch television and hang out with really stupid people (awesome, but no deep conversations AT ALL- i'm not complaining, i'm just explaining what i believe has contributed to my mushy brain).
I guess I'm just wondering if it's possible to get smart again.. and if so, how? how long will it take?
I hope this doesn't sound like i'm looking for some sort of formula or anything. i Know that if i start using my brain, it'll start working better and better but i guess i'm looking for some sort of reassurance?
do i just need to read better books until my brain picks up on the authors' writing style and vocabulary and pretty much copies it?
TL;DR: | i've kind of always been like this but recently it's gotten worse. i feel retarded when i speak and i don't know how to fix it |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Work refuses to pay me for hours I worked and recorded. Please help!
POST: I went to an orientation for a Round Table Pizza, and Proceded to work 3 days of training. I was told to record all my hours on my phone to be safe (which I did). Orientation took place on the 18th of april and my last day of training was April 22(also my last day I edited my work hours). They however don't have sign in dates for april 18-20. I was never called back after my final day nor was I informed of being fired (along with 15 other people or so, of which I have no contact with). They insist that The orientation was the 21st, even though I have chat logs that prove otherwise ( along with my recorded hours). Yet they refuse my proof and state that they have no sign in sheets for those days. (even though I did sign in they most likely just lost them, the computer system was not working so it was on paper). When they finally had my check ready for me it was for $50 when I have 12hr 50min recorded on my phone. What do I have to do so im not robbed of money I worked for. (btw this was all done before the store actually opened)
TL;DR: | Recorded hours on phone for over double what they have recorded. Company refuses to pay me for hours I worked (and recorded) because they most likely lost early sign in sheets. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] boyfriend's [26M] ex [22F] quotes my song lyrics on her Twitter and it's weirding me out.
POST: My boyfriend "Ben" and I have been together for 2 years now. Prior to dating me, he was with "Christy" on and off for several months. There was a bit of drama that occurred in the time they broke up and he began dating again. Nowadays, things have been good.
But Christy has a weird habit. Admittedly, I do check her Twitter occasionally because she used to heavily subtweet about Ben or myself, and I wanted to know what was being said about us. Since then, she's calmed down but every now and then she'll tweet something I tweeted verbatim, or listen to my songs on SoundCloud and quote my lyrics.
It's just bizarre to me, but I do realize that all my songs are public and it's fair game for anyone to listen to. I'm pretty confident that my boyfriend doesn't even have contact with her anymore. Should I just let this go?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's ex will tweet my lyrics every now and then. It's strange and makes me think she might miss him. Should I just let this go and carry on with life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] would like to approach my [15F] girlfriend about sex, but I need guidance
POST: Please hear me out before down voting or commenting.
I [16M] have been dating a girl in my class [15F] for about eight months now. Thus far, we've had a very successful and happy relationship, with a few rough patches and dry spells. Overall, it's been great.
Neither of us have prior sexual experience, and this is both of ours' first serious relationship. Around the three month mark, we started fooling around. That progressed to where we are now, and at this point we've done everything except intercourse.
She was very apprehensive about these things at first, so I made sure to respect her decisions and her body. I didn't want her to regret anything. She got past that eventually and things continued to where we are now.
She enjoys fooling around a lot and she loves being pleasured, just like any girl. However she has been extremely apprehensive about the idea of intercourse. Keep in mind, I haven't directly approached her and asked her about it.
Recently, a lot of her friends have been losing their virginities. They've also started sneaking around their parents to have sex with their boyfriends, etc. She's had a hard time dealing with this. I asked her about why she has such a problem with it, and she explained that she feels that when you lose your virginity you lose all of your innocence, and then "everything is based around that" (her words), she doesn't like the idea of sneaking around, and she doesn't like the fact that everybody knows who has sex with who.
Basically it sounds like she feels that losing your virginity is a pivotal moment in your life that changes everything about who you are. I don't feel like this is true at all. I tried to explain the differences between just having sex and making love but she didn't understand.
I want to approach her about this. I don't want to force her in to doing something she isn't comfortable with and I'm not on a crusade to get laid. But I do want to make her comfortable with it and have her think about it in a positive light. But I have absolutely no clue how to. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is extremely apprehensive about sex and I would to talk to her about it in an attempt to have her think about it in a more positive light but I don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 M] girlfriend [18 F] of several months, just broke up with me because her ex got a "better" girl than her.
POST: My girlfriend and I were at work today, and her ex boyfriend contacted her and told her about a girlfriend he just got. He said, "She is just like you [my girlfriend], but better."
She started crying and freaking out and I comforted her for a bit, until she said she wanted to be alone for a bit. I went and got some snacks since we were on our break, and when I come back on the clock I see she had texted me saying that since she wasn't good enough for anyone else, she was gonna focus on being good for herself.
I told her that was a good attitude to have towards him, but that I didn't think she wasn't good enough (which is my honest opinion). She said I was just saying that to be nice. The conversation continued and she said she was gonna give me an opportunity to be with someone better, and that it was over.
Basically what I'd like to know is what I should do, and if there is anyone who can shed some light on what happened with her.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend dumped me because her ex got a girlfriend who was like her, but "better." What do/did I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Current path or elsewhere?
POST: Hello r/jobs,
I recently graduated with a BSBA in Business Management and need some job advice. Have a few questions, so bare with me.
I currently work at a grocery store as the "Center Store Lead," which is the position beneath the grocery manager. I was running the dairy department on my own before this, doing all the ordering and everything. Fully capable of being a grocery manager, but they wanted me to take this current job for a few months first basically. Should I stick it out with a horrible schedule and work my way up to store manager or keep looking elsewhere?
Back in January I had an interview with a car dealership that went excellent, I made it through every interview and everyone seemed to love me. Even though the recruiting manager and operations director liked me, ultimately the general sales manager didn't feel comfortable taking the risk to hire me, since I have little to no sales experience. They told me to get back to them in a few months to reconsider. Should I try contacting them again? Or were they basically not interested in me and letting me down easy?
Last question! I live about ninety minutes away from Raleigh, NC, where there is a considerably larger job market. However, my wife is going back to school in the fall, forcing us to stay where we are now. Is it worth it to look for a job there and drive that far to work everyday?
TL;DR: | Should I stick it out at the grocery store and work my way up? Should I reach out to the car dealership again? Or should I look for a job in Raleigh and drive to work daily? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18/M] girlfriend [16/F] tried getting a reaction out of me.
POST: To give background: my girlfriend has anxiety and is quite depressed. Sometimes she gets in moods where she doesn't talk to me, and it's hard for me to determine whether she's ignoring me (she does it when she's mad) or just in a "mood".
Today, she got in one of those moods, and I tried to talk to her to see what was wrong. She completely ignored me and didn't even bat an eye. I needed to do something important, so I went to do that because I didn't have 30 minutes to spend trying to talk to her. I even got a bit upset with her and didn't talk to her for awhile.
I had headphones in and I could see she tried to talk to me, but I was upset that I always try talking to her with no attention, so I ignored her. Eventually, I took the headphones out and we talked.
Tonight she was telling me how upset she was that I ignored her after "what she said". She tells me that she told me it's over, and never to talk to her again (after me ignoring her for awhile).
I understand she may have just tried to her a reaction out of me, but I'm hurt by that and take it really seriously. I don't know if ignoring her for a few days would be terrible or overreacting, but I feel too offended and shocked to respond.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend ignores me. I ignore her for once and- while I can't hear- tells me it's over. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23/f] My Boyfriend [35/m] is still on okcupid...
POST: I met my current boyfriend on Okcupid a little over 3 months ago and it wasn't until recently we became official. The past week or so i've just had an off feeling about everything and out of pure curiosity I google his Okcupid username to see if he would come up (i deactivated mine not long after we had initially met so this was the only way to check) and not only did it come up but it said he was active about 4 days ago....i brought up the fact that i'm getting a weird feeling and he assures me that everything is alright, how on earth do i bring this up or should i in the first place?
TL;DR: | met my BF on okcupid, his account is still pretty active and i dont know how to bring it up to him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit: When I am done paying off student loans, I plan on getting up and traveling the world by myself. Where should I go, and what should I do?
POST: Just graduated with $20 g's of debt, which isn't too bad, but I cannot tell you how many times I've wished I could have it paid off right away so I could leave. As it is, I am working two low-paying jobs (they are pretty chill though, not looking for sympathy) and hope to pay off my debt in the next two years, but that seems like FOREVER when I want to leave right away.
I want to fly to somewhere in the world (other than North America) and just start walking. I have absolutely nothing tying me down, i.e. family relationships, significant other, car/house debt, *except* my student loans. How should I prepare, and where should I go?
TL;DR: | I need good advice about where to start my world travels and how to go about it. I am pretty much ready to do anything to travel and be on my own, and I'm dead serious about doing this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [HELP] 315 and need advice.
POST: Hello, first time ever on /r/loseit and i can already say this is my favorite subreddit. Here's the deal, i'm 17, a senior in high school going to college soon, i weigh 315lbs and i'm 6'5". What i need is advice to help me to loose weight to about 220. I was on a role up until i injured my knee playing football and now while i recover i sit around and do nothing. since football ended i would usually do track but can't because of my knee. Without sports i sit around and i just eat and i can feel my weight adding up it honestly disgusts me. I really need to know what i should do, and how i can continue to do it without reverting back into my old ways (because that has happened more than once). Any help is appreciated, thank you.
TL;DR: | weigh 315lbs can't exercise temporarily due to knee injury. what should I do to keep myself from becoming Jaba. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [Help] Can I get a second dog when my first dog is barely trained and antisocial?
POST: *Backstory:* When I was a kid (~12 years old) my mom got us a Shih Tzu puppy without any of us knowing anything about dog training. We housetrained her, taught her to sit, but other than that she's fairly untrained. We never took her to any dog parks or anything, so she never really learned how to be around other dogs either. She barks like crazy when they pass our house, though.
She's around 5 years old now, and we're moving to New York to get a bigger house out in the country. I figured, we're moving to a place with tons of land around it, why not get a *big* dog this time? So I did my research, and I think I want to get a Labrador Retriever. My mom agreed to get a second dog, but told me this horror story of how her friend's labrador accidentally killed her chuihahua.
Now I really want a second dog, but I really *really* don't want any accidental shih-tzu deaths on my conscience. If we get the labrador as a puppy, and slowly introduce the dogs to eachother, can they grow up without being enemies? Are there any guidelines on how to do this? I would really appreciate it.
TL;DR: | Advice on introducing a new dog (preferably a Labrador Retriever) to a 5-year old, barely trained, antisocial Shih Tzu? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [F/31] manipulative sister [F/30] set me up to look awful in front of my family this weekend. Is there any way to get out of this unscathed?
POST: My lying and manipulative sister is trying to turn our family against me. Our relationship is very strained. She has been working on our parents for a while, trying to convince them that I am at fault and she is the victim of my malicious criticism (although they say they are committed to remaining neutral).
We haven't seen each other for months, but she recently invited herself (somewhat rudely) to visit from another state and stay at my house for the weekend. In the interest of maintaining at least a shred of a relationship, I accepted. A few days before the visit she was up to her old tricks of subtle digs and blaming me for our problems, so I decided that the visit wasn't a good idea and told her I changed my mind and she shouldn't come. I didn't get into the details of why, because that always descends into fruitless argument. But she immediately accused me of being unforgivable rude by revoking her invitation and hurting the feelings of her daughter who was to accompany her on the trip.
Next thing I know she's invited herself to come down anyway and stay at our parents' house, who happen to live in my town. I know she's going to insist on a visit with me and portray any resistance on my part as further proof that I'm the one sabotaging our relationship. On the other hand, if I do agree to a visit, I know that our time together will be strained and uncomfortable, which she will also blame on me while putting on her most manipulative innocent act in front of our parents.
I fear my sister has set me up in a no-win situation. Am I wrong? How do I get out of this without having it blow up on me? I don't want to start a huge family fight...I just want to quietly slip out of her trap.
TL;DR: | My manipulative sister set me up to look awful in front of my family this weekend. Is there any way to get out of this unscathed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Cooking
TITLE: PSA: Recovering from seized chocolate may be possible
POST: I wanted to share this experience somewhere, because conventional wisdom and every search I've done says that if you get water into melted chocolate in the course of candy making, you are thoroughly screwed. "Don't throw it away, but it can't be tempered anymore" is the general advice.
I had a pound of milk chocolate that I had gotten in temper, and was holding it at temperature in a bowl that was partly immersed in a water bath. I've done this before, but this time the bowl capsized, and about a cup of water poured right on top of the chocolate. This totally sucked.
I immediately dumped the water out of the bowl. Then, not knowing what else to do, I dabbed the surface of the chocolate with a few clean paper towels. This made a mess, and some chocolate stuck to the paper towels. But the rest of the water got absorbed. At that point I was out of chocolate, and hope, so I went to bed.
Next day I bought more chocolate, but thought I'd give the chocolate in the bowl a try. Loosened it up in the microwave, then chopped it up and tempered it, seeding with some of the new chocolate. To my surprise it totally worked.
Could have been the fact it was milk chocolate w/lecithin, the fact that I didn't stir, or both. But since I'd never read about recovering from water contamination in melted chocolate... figured it might help someone else.
TL;DR: | If you get water in your chocolate, don't stir it it. You may be able to recover it by wicking it out w/paper towels. At least it's worth a shot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: my [34m], [27f] fiance` is recently obsessing over past and ex's
POST: hi all! i will keep this short.
recently, our wedding planning has intensified as our date grows closer (a few months away)! lately, my fiance`'s mind has wandered to her past. she has told me she misses certain things (not specified) about certain ex's from her past, and she is confused. over the past couple of weeks, she said she has realized that she is with me, and she needs to focus her love and energy here. this is having a couple of effects on me.
1. it's a blow to my self esteem. it makes me feel "not good enough". i realize everyone is different, and we are a collection of all of our experiences. there are good times in every relationship, and nothing is ever all bad. at the same time, i feel as though perhaps if this is a passing thought, broadcasting it to me was not necessary. this makes me think this could be something more.
2. doubts wheter she is really, truly in love with me. perhaps this is also tied to #1. my feels have been somewhat muted now.
has anyone ever dealt with anything like this? how should i take it? what do i do? i do love her, obviously, but I find myself hurt and confused.
TL;DR: | engaged, getting married soon. [27f] fiance has began to think about ex's. is it cold feet? is it something more? what do? thank you! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28 F] boyfriend [29 M] is a pothead who spends all his money on weed, lives at home with his parents and doesn't care about anything/anyone
POST: When I first met my boyfriend I thought he smoked weed occasionally. Slowly over time I realised (and he admitted) he smokes about 6 or 7 times a day at least. So that's once when he wakes up, at lunch, immediately after work, when he gets home, and then continues smoking until he goes to bed at about 2am.
Personally I think he has a serious problem, but he completely denies he has an addiction. He still lives at home with his parents and is overly attached to them - he even hangs out with them in his social time and goes to gigs with them etc. He's very clingy with his family. His mum manages all his appointments and still cooks all his meals and washes his clothes and its like he still thinks he is 5 years old. He also HATES leaving the house and would prefer to stay at home and sleep all day or just smoke in his garden then play video games rather than ever going out and doing anything.
I really care about this guy - aside from his potheadedness he is fun to be around, chilled, open minded and I like him a lot. My family also really love him. I just am very concerned that he is ALWAYS high and that it affects our relationship a lot. He has been smoking since he was about 13 and doesn't see himself ever giving up. I'm just at my wits end with him because he's ruining his life and I'm not sure if I see a future with him anymore.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is a 29 year old pothead who still lives with his parents and has no plans to move out. Is there any hope or should I leave him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (25/m) girlfriend (24/f) hates the beard I'm growing. She says it makes me less attractive to her, but I don't want to shave.
POST: The title pretty much summarizes everything. For the past 2 months I've been growing a beard, but now my girlfriend has made it clear that she hates it and wants me to stay clean shaven. We've been together 3 years, and this is without a doubt the longest I've had my facial hair during our relationship.
Honestly, it was never my intention to go this long without shaving. I just kept putting it off or forgetting about it. However, the longer my hair got the more I liked it. I have good coverage, so my beard looks awesome. It makes me look older and more defined, I think.
My girlfriend, however, does not agree. She thinks I'm starting to look like a bum. I don't really trim it, so I can sort of see her point. It could be more kept, but I don't really want to put in the work. Even if I did groom it more, my girlfriend has said it would not make her like it. She doesn't like the feel of it and thinks it's gross. She says that while she still loves me and finds me attractive I'm not as attractive as I am when clean shaven. There has definitely been a decrease in our sex life.
The other thing is that I plan to keep growing it until May. She has told me that it would really bother her if I did this. In fact, she said if I did not shave by spring, she was going to stop shaving her legs in protest (lol).
I'm just sort of torn about what to do. I want my girlfriend to be happy, but I also really like having this beard. It would make me sad if I had to shave it. I don't know if I should give her more time. I am almost certain that she will never like it. I just don't see a compromise that would make us both happy. I could try to maintain my beard more as a good faith effort, I guess. What would you guys do if you were in my position?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend hates the beard I am growing. She wants me to shave it off, but I want to keep it. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] have a crush on my best friend [20 F]'s brother [23 M]
POST: Hi Reddit- I need some advice on how to approach this subject with my best friend. She has zero idea that her brother and I even talk. I don't even know if I should tell her but I feel like that's going against friend code. I hate lying to her when we talk about boys and I lie to her because I don't know how to tell her I am interested in her older brother.
Georgina and I have been friends since the summer after high school graduation. She's witnessed all of my drunken shenanigans and heard of my hookups and relationships from our college freshman year. I'm scared that she won't approve of me for her brother because I know she's quite protective of him and doesn't want to see him hurt from a girl again.
I talk to Ethan almost everyday through text and Facebook. We started talking after her family came to visit her at Ryerson (Georgina is from New Brunswick and moved to Toronto for school). There was some joking around because I told her she had a hot brother and she told him I said that to embarrass me.
Long story short- we have a lot in common and I'm starting to fancy him. I'm quite shy and don't usually tell boys when I crush on them but, I feel like Ethan is different and I'd like to pursue something or at least go on a date the next time he comes to visit Georgina. But I'm worried about how to approach the subject of even telling her that I like her brother.
What do I do!
TL;DR: | I have a crush on my best friend's brother. She's protective of him and has seen me at my worst and I'm worried she won't approve. How do I tell her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Who do you think is more successful on online dating sites? guys or girls?
POST: I had a real online dating profile (okcupid) (I'm a guy) for almost a year, and all along got nothing out of it but maybe 5-6 message replies over the course of the year, and some views here and there.
Last night I decided to make a fake female account (okcupid), I'll admit the picture of the girl I used was rather attractive, but I wrote barely anything in the profile itself. **OVERNIGHT** as in from 9 pm to 9 am the next day, I got over 70 messages telling me how beautiful I am etc etc. and how they want to get to know me, and well over 100 profile views. If I was a girl that would be a humongous confidence boost even if I was not going to meet any of the guys.
TL;DR: | from my experience I got more views and messages overnight on my fake female account than I probably would a life time on my male account |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: how long do bruises take to form? how long do they last?
POST: so last night i was in a car accident - car is totaled, everyone else is doing ok, i got a little beaten up. We were going at about 45 when the other car came across traffic and hit us, on the left fender. We swerved to try to avoid them and put on the breaks, but - i honestly don't remember if i was wearing a seatbelt or not, I think i was but it was loose - we were still hit pretty hard. I was the passenger. I hit the dash with my knees, the stick shift with my calf, the top of the dash with my shoulder and bicep just above my left elbow, and the left side of my head hit the windshield, glanced off it. came away with a strained neck and sore in the spots i mentioned. Tonight i'm starting to see bruises form on my knees and my shoulder, but i can feel pain similar to what is in those spots on the other ones. i'm concerned about worrying my teachers, and later my family if these are still around at thanksgiving. Anyone have any idea how long it will take for these to show (so i can find concealer to cover up the marks), and/or how long they'd last? just don't want my family freaking out, i really am ok.
TL;DR: | was in a car accident, i bounced around the front at 45 mph, sustained what will probably become bruises as well as a strained neck. When will the bruises surface, and any idea how long they'll last? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [40 M] with my girlfriend [39F] 1 year duration, love her, love her kids, can't imagine living together
POST: I'll try to be brief. I'm separated, soon to be divorced. My girlfriend of about a year is awesome, has three kids, who are also awesome. Things are generally going well, but one of the reasons my marriage broke up was because I didn't want multiple kids (I have a son, who gets along great with her kids).
We aren't on the cusp of getting married and/or living together, but it is a goal of hers for the future (next few years). We both own our own homes.
One of the big issues I am having: I can't imagine us all living together. I am anal about cleanliness and their place is filthy. I try to push healthy eating because I have body issues and they literally have no vegetables in the house and their idea of fruit is fruit cocktail in a jug. Dinner is mostly kraft dinner or hotdogs. And there's money of course. I am doing ok, and she is probably $25k in debt.
I feel like a life together in the same house will be a life of fighting over mundane shit.
TL;DR: | does Love conquer all? All I just a selfish shit? Or am I trying to hard to make something work that is doomed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think my brother may have gotten engaged without knowing it. Anyone here from Papua New Guinea?
POST: So my brother is doing volunteer work in PNG.
Over the last month he's met and has started getting romantic with a local girl who is also in the same volunteer group. He called our parents a few nights ago and told them about the strange evening he had. I guess she had him over to her parents' house for dinner and afterwards a couple of her cousins showed up and started asking him some random questions like "If her mother needed a bucket of water, would you go get it for her?" and "If her father needed firewood, would you go cut some for him?". Being the nice guy that he is, he answered yes to the questions but thought it was weird that they kept giggling to each other when he answered.
My dad is planning a trip out there to see my brother since he's been away from home for about 6 months now. There's some info he needs to get before he can apply for the travel visa, and my brother is now incommunicado (building a school somewhere without electricity) for a few weeks, so Dad called the local church my brother had been visiting to see if they could answer the questions for him. The guy my dad ended up talking to didn't have the best English, but he knew who my brother was right away and he mentioned that he heard they were engaged!
My brother was married once before and definitely isn't the sort to propose to someone after just a few weeks. We're wondering if those questions were part of some PNG engagement tradition. We have no way of getting a hold of him for the next few weeks and we're hoping he doesn't accidentally end up married to her without even knowing they were engaged.
So, anyone here know enough about PNG to clear this up for us?
TL;DR: | my brother went to PNG, met a girl and answered some odd questions and now we're worried he may be engaged without knowing it |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What rights are really being taken away from us by are government?
POST: I see a whole lot of whining about the nsa, but all they are doing is keeping a watch on people.
Is it really hurting the average redditor? or even the average person in the U.S.A? I know it isn't.
Like it or not, the world is changing and we need more systems in place to protect the majority of people, and the way the government goes about it is up to our elected officials, and if you have a problem with it. Vote for someone else, or become a politician so you can change things.
If you aren't doing anything wrong then why worry?
TL;DR: | Stop whining about your privacy, the world is constantly changing and rules setup in 1791 don't necessarily work in 2013. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [X-Post] (AskReddit) I am currently on a business trip and got a phone call from my girlfriend of two years telling me she wants to break up. WTF do I do?
POST: -I was told to post this on relationship_advice as opposed to Ask Reddit. I also don't know the notation for that.-
I had no idea it was coming. It's not like we argued all the time or anything. I'm currently in a shady ass motel in the middle of nowhere and have been bawling my eyes out like a little bitch for the past hour. I don't know what to do. I live with her and all my stuff is at our place, and she wants me to move out tomorrow when I get home because she thinks it will be too hard for both of us if I stay here any longer.
I don't know what to do. I just graduated from college (she has one more year) and I hate my job. I thought that since she was the constant in my life, I could figure out what I wanted to do as a career while having her around as an anchor in case I ever fall. Now I don't have her, I have to move back home because I have no time to find a place to live, and I still hate my job.
TL;DR: | Geeky recent grad who hates his job just got dumped by girlfriend while he was on a business trip. I'm emo as hell right now |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the unfair thing that happened to you that made you really angry, but you cannot change it?
POST: Happened to me today. I was going 100 miles to city to pick my mum from work (she usually goes by bus) and also to buy some stuff in city. We did everything and on our way home stopped for gas. It was pay before use service so we paid for gas and i went to fill the tank. Right as i took the fuel hose, it started spilling fuel all around and i couldn't stop it. It was -30 Celsius outside and i guess the mechanics were faulty, so it started pumping without even being pressed. Ended up spilling 10 liters of fuel on the ground from trying to stop it and washing my car with fuel. We had to pay for everything, even though it was not our foult. Spent 1 hour driving home in car smelling of fuel. They said to come back in business day to talk to manager, who will look into security cameras, but chances to get refunded for that are low because it is self service.
TL;DR: | Faulty fuel hose caused me to wash my car with fuel and pouring 10 liters of fuel on the ground. No refunds |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] refuses to be my date to any sort of formal wedding or party because, "she doesn't like them."
POST: I love her but how can I have a future with a person that has no problem making me go alone to every professional event (anything even resembling black tie)? BTW I am a young professional and will have to attend many of these events. How can I have a future with a woman who is so insecure/immature? As a follow-up/aside, she looked through my phone the other night while I was sleeping and said something that made me catch her (conversation with friend) I have known her for a long time (11 yrs) and been with her for about 6 months but it is getting to the point where these things really really bother me. I dont want to break up with her but...advice?
TL;DR: | GF refuses to go to formal events with me and is now looking through my phone. Unrelated I know but would like advice on both (in case they are related and I can't see it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] together for 1.5 years, she is unhappy with long distance relationships
POST: My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 months now and at times its fine. We text regularly and usually talk on the phone once a day. Today she said she is "too young to be in a long distance relationship" and that she is frustrated and stressed. Sometimes she gets this way when we don't see each other in awhile (I'll be seeing her this weekend) and so I'm hoping she is just having another "episode."
She also says she has been frustrated with our sex life. Whenever we have sex, she really enjoys it and tells me so. I told her its just hard being away from each other and not being able to get intimate as often.
From the way our conversation went tonight, she definitely sounds like she wants to break up even though I assured her everything would be fine when I get down to see her in a couple days. I guess I just don't understand what she meant when she said she's too young for this? She doesn't hangout with anyone after work and I believe part of her stress is due to her being lonely. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 1.5 years is unhappy with having a LDR and is very frustrated and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How come my student loan accumulates more interest every month?
POST: I had a $7000 private loan right now and it has a $25 required monthly payment while I am in school to help keep payments down.
I decided to pay over the required payments and try to keep the total amount owed equal to the principle. Sure, it'll be a little harder now, but in the long run I should be able to pay down my loans in 3-4 years after graduation.
My problem is each month the amount I owe is more. The first month it was about $7040, then $7050, and this month $7060. I was under the impression that if in the beginning of each month period the total amount owed stayed constant, then the amount of interest applied should be the same every month. The first month I paid $40, then $50, and this month $60.
TL;DR: | How come the same amount of principal incurs a greater amount of interest each month, if the interest is paid off in full each month? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: the guy [22 M] sexually harassed me in high school just messaged me [22 F] to apologize. (there's more)
POST: EDIT: due to some confusion, he physically harassed me in a sexual nature as well as emotionally/verbally.
he messaged me and apologized and admitted what he did was wrong, and i accepted his apology, but i made sure to tell him that what he did was wrong and he shouldn't do it again to anyone else. i don't really want to get into the complete details of what he did to me, but it both emotional and sexual; however, he didn't rape me or seriously hurt me physically, but thinking back on it, it did mess me up a little bit, especially since i told teachers and they didn't do anything except separate us as lab partners for 2 weeks. we had to go back to being lab partners because, however much i hated him, he was the only person i was able to work with in the class due to the fact he was very good at chem and did 50% of the work rather than only 5% of it.
he was also part of my friend group, but they weren't really friendships by choice. we were the ugly and unwanted people, so we stuck together in order to avoid the other bullying we went through. people would ask if we were dating, and i would say "we have a love/hate relationship... well... mostly hate."
but then, after he apologized, he tried to kinda be friends with me? i'm now not sure if i did the right thing in accepting his apology, but i don't want to harbor bitterness when i have 85% emotionally healed from the situation.
TL;DR: | was i wrong in accepting his apology? i told him what he did was wrong but i feel guilty for accepting the apology. i would feel guilty if i didn't, though. am i enabling him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 /F] with my ___ [30 M] 1,5 years, how do we get over "we have talked about our sex life A LOT" weirdness and continue being awesome together.
POST: My boyfriend and I have had a very awesome relationship. We are great together. But we have differing sex drives. His is average (1-3x /week, mine is quite high(3-5x /week). This has caused some tension lately due to the fact that he lives closer now and it became more apparent to me. I don't know how to deal with it...I just know that I'm willing to. I feel like I understand it simply is a difference that we can live with and says nothing about me or our relationship but it's so conflicting because I find myself being moody and unfair towards him because of it. And upon closer inspection I realize that despite my understanding it (or thinking so) I feel unattractive somehow, or as if something is wrong in our relationship, and a little neglected. Is this just a self esteem problem I really need to look into?
Anyhow, we have also discussed this a lot lately and were finally honest with each other and he's been extremely helpful and willing to try different things and we decided to meet somewhere in the middle. I just feel as if I can't let go of this weird "he's having sex with me because he feels he needs to not because he wants to" and "I'm forcing him to have sex with me" thoughts. I'm also not as comfortable as before with initiating or putting in effort for foreplay which he really enjoys too because I feel the rejection would be worse having tried more. How do I turn off my brain and just enjoy sex with my boyfriend again despite its recent rough patch?
TL;DR: | boyfriend and I have just had lots of talks over our differing sex drives. How do we get over the post-talk weirdness and just be the happy sexual bunnies we usually are ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (24M)My SO (22f) is joining the Navy and I was hoping to get some feedback from couples who have gone through the same thing.
POST: We have been together for a little over three years and just moved in together this past summer. She wants to leave for bootcamp at the end of our lease and I think all together she will be gone for about four months before she comes home for Idk how long and then will be stationed somewhere. She tells me if we get married we can live together on base rent free and since I have a degree the Navy will help me find a job. I wanted to know other people's experience with this and what I can expect to come from all this. I'm selfish and don't want her away from me for that long simply because I know distance can put a strain on relationships. So, other's who've experienced this what's it like being away from your SO for a long period of time and what could I expect dating a servicewoman?
TL;DR: | my gf of 3 years is joining the navy and was looking for people with similar experiences to shed some light on what I should expect and how they dealt with being away from them for so long. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A past romantic interest (19F) and I (20M) ended our relationship a year and a half ago, and she called me today telling me that she had a miscarriage the day we broke it off.
POST: This girl and I saw each other on and off for a few weeks, but never really labeled anything or were officially exclusive.
She had some issues, she was underweight and she had depression issues, she would often call me in the middle of the night over the past year and tell me she loved me but she never told me.
Recently she's been getting better about both her weight and depression (under strict therapy), and she told me today that as part of her therapy that she had to admit to me that she had a miscarriage the last day we were together.
I wouldn't believe it if I didn't remember that at the time, I knew something was wrong the last day we saw eachother, she kept running to the bathroom.
But she just told me it was her period, and I believed her, but she was in and out of the bathroom the rest of the day and seemed off and detached for the next few weeks or so, I just figured it was because we had ended it.
I'm freaking out because I have no idea how to handle it. She's still a kid, and she hasn't told her parents at all. As someone who is totally against abortion (I'm pro-choice, if it ever came to that I would defer to the girl, but if it were my choice I would raise my child no matter the circumstance), it hurt to say that she was "glad the pregnancy failed."
This is scary especially considering I thought we were very safe in our intimate relations.
What do I do? I feel like she's using this to get closer to me or she's just making it up but I can't shake the feeling that I had a kid for a few weeks and I didn't even know it, and I'll always have that on my conscience. It scares me to death.
TL;DR: | had intimate relationship with girl, she miscarriages, doesn't tell me until year later, don't know if it's true, terrified. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (21F) Medical student in university and I thought I met the guy (22M, also a medical student) I'm going to marry, only to find out we can't be together because we're of different ethnicities.. I need some advice.
POST: He and I have have know each other for 2 1/2 years now.. Started off as friends and then slowly morphed into friends with benefits and now we've both confessed strong feelings for one another.. We've said "I love you."
However, he is of African descent and I'm Indian and where I come from that's not particularly accepted and allowed. He's also had a bad experience with a past girlfriend (also Indian) that scarred him pretty badly in terms of how her family treated him and horrible things that were said about him. So based on that, he's decided that as much as he loves me and wants to be with me, it simply can't happen.
On top of that, he's admitted that because he knew from the start of our shenanigans that he and I could never be together, he sort of kept a "back-up" girl back home, who currently thinks they're in a relationship while he's here on campus confessing feelings to me.
I'm an emotional wreck right now.. My self esteem is shot because everytime I see or think about the other girl, I wonder "why is she getting everything I've put in so much effort for?" My heart is broken because I am in love with this guy and the thought that something like race could prevent us from having a future together is killing me.. I'm seeing a counsellor but I don't know if it's doing much good..
Exams are just around the corner and I need something positive.. For those of you who have been in similar situations, does it get better? Anyone who's been in the "I love her but can't be with her so I'll just be her friend and love her from a distance" position, how did you deal with that? Did you ever stop loving her? ..Will I ever stop loving him and be able to move on?
TL;DR: | He's African, I'm Indian and society dictates we can't be together. He pulled a dick move and had a back-up girl.. Tell me it gets better. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Pharma job advice please. Should I stay or should I go?
POST: So I have a dilemma that I understand many people would like to have, but I really don't know what to do.
I work in pharmaceutical manufacture. I'm based in Asia and work at one of the larger pharma firms in the region on a local contract. Hours are long, average 12 hours a day but 14 or more isn't uncommon. I haven't used any annual leave in the last 3 years, but pay is good (for locals). I'm getting tired of the hours and want to be with my family more. I've been approached by an American pharma company in the area, they've offered me slightly more money with generally less hours in a more global but similar role.
On the face of it it seems a no brainer, but the American company's manufacturing in the area is limited to packaging, whereas I'm involved in solid dosage, injectables and packaging now. I'll be narrowing my experience. There location is better, but benefits worse. Both companies are global, but not really sure what the chances of being sent closer to home on an expat deal are.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | offered job in similar field for slightly more money and better holidays in better location, but narrower field and company lacks prestige in area. What would you do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend is upset and wants space... what should I do?
POST: Hello, my girlfriend (24) is upset with me (22) over what I perceive to be a small issue. Two nights ago we were studying and the people in the next room were being very loud. I was trying to focus on my studies while my girlfriend basically gave up. I originally thought the problem was that I wasn't paying attention to her (she stated she didn't like how studious I am) so I didn't think her problem was with the noise level. After about an hour I realized she was really annoyed so I suggested we leave. Instead of letting me spend the night at her place, she sent me home in a cab.
I texted her goodnight and she texted goodnight back. However, in the morning I texted her good morning and got nothing back. I checked her facebook account and she set her relationship status to private (my profile still says I'm in a relationship with her). On top of that, she got rid of all the lovey-dovey posts she has made about me on her wall and has started posting indirect comments about how love is hard to find and that if I really like her I should get to know her better. Anyways, I texted her back saying I'm sorry (even though I don't think this is really my fault) and she texted back after a while that she wants space (along with the classic "it's not you, it's me" line). I texted her back a few times after that to tell her I love her and want to get past this but I've gotten nothing back from her and she won't reply to me.
As a side note, literally 30 mins before we started studying on the day of the conflict she held me and told me she loves me. I want to believe love can't disappear so quickly.
To top it all off, I'm currently studying for exams and I don't want to go through this. How should I deal with this? Is the relationship over? Should I stop texting her and give her the space she wants? Or should I surprise her with flowers or something? I don't know. Any help is appreciated thanks.
We've been dating almost 2 months.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is upset with me and wants space. She won't reply to my texts. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ruining my happiness by thinking of my new man's past (me 26F USA, him 31M Thai)
POST: I was unhappy at home, so I just dropped everything and decided to travel to the world to find whatever is missing from my life. I still don't know what that means exactly, so I'm trying to live day by day and just let life happen to me. 5 days ago I traveled to a new city in Thailand. I'm solo traveling, so I went into a bar alone and I met a group of Thais who took me in, including me in their social circle and showing me non-touristic things. Amazing!
I ended up spending the night with a guy. (Not my usual behavior but I went into it thinking I'd not see im again because I'm traveling.) Well, it's been 5 days and I've spent every moment with him. He's so good to me and I feel happy with him. He insisted I move from my hotel to his house because I've been there everyday anyway. We're like a pseudo couple already, it's weird so soon, but it feels good.
Anyway, I jokingly asked his girl friend if he's shacked up with a tourist before. Yes, he has. …I did not need to find that out. Already being so insecure, the thought of him with another girl bothers me so much. I've started putting pieces together and it's driving me crazy. The first night I saw that his phone background was of a girl, and he changed it by the next time I saw it. Then a similar looking girl wrote "<3" on his Facebook wall. Then he mentioned he's saving money to visit Australia. After some stalking, sure enough Facebook girl is from Australia and she was in Thailand about a month ago from what I can tell.
I know I'm sounding ridiculous having fallen for a guy from across the world in just a few days. I want to just enjoy each day with him. Stay with him until it feels like it's time to move on. But because I'm at a fragile place in my life, I know I will be extremely hurt if I let myself fall in lust/love with him only to find out his heart is somewhere else.
TL;DR: | The man I've just started falling for apparently just ended another relationship and maybe still has feelings. How do I cope with my jealousy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I feel like a crazy person! Help!
POST: Reddit, my boyfriend (28) broke up with me (29) completely out of the blue a few weeks ago, after being together for 6 months. He acted really strangely and uncomfortable the last two days (admittedly, I had a nasty bought of PMS that I thought I'd reined in). Previously, we had an amazing relationship with nothing but laughs, communication, and consistently amazing sex.
In any case, he just said he didn't get excited to see me anymore and that he wanted to flirt with other girls. He also didn't like that he got angry at me about things that I was doing with my life and money. He wanted to break up before we had actual issues, and he was certain about it. This is the guy that chased me, and said "I love you" first. As far as I know, he did not cheat on me. I do believe he broke up with me to quickly pursue someone else, but we just spent so much time together, I don't know how it'd be possible for him to have time to see anyone else.
The first couple weeks I was in shock, then anger, then sadness. I was overcoming my urge to contact and to look like a loon. But in the past week I've had 3 unconnected people say that they knew it was going to happen weeks before it did. These ominous snippets upset me so much that I can't sleep, again. I want answers, and I want the full picture. How do you people know? Who did he tell? Am I a joke? I do NOT want to be played the fool. I am suddenly tempted to ask everyone for the full story and then, if I find anything out. To let him know that I know the truth and gain some revenge. (I was, previously, open to being back with him in the future, but I want to know what kind of person he really is, now)
TL;DR: | I was dealing with my breakup ok when several people hinted that they knew about the breakup before it happened. Should I let the entire situation go, or should tug a bit more and find out the whole story? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my GF [22 F] broke up but some signs of getting back?
POST: Been together for four years, the last one being long distance. Out of the blue last week she texted me telling me we needed to talk on FB, yes FB, not even a phone/skype call. She tells me she can't do it anymore and is going to pursue another guy. I'm shell-shocked and sort of just 'ok, good luck in life' it off since I wasn't sure how to approach the situation then and there.
I realize I don't want it to end so I keep contacting her through email and text but don't get a response. Thinking it was over for real I do a dating site where I've already met a great lady but she has no idea I'm fresh out of a relationship and hurting badly inside. Nothing serious at all at the moment with her though, only a bunch of texts.
Now I just spoke with her sister who claims ex-GF is a bit of a wreck and regretting the break up. I'm supposed to meet this new lady this weekend but I'd feel terrible for everyone involved to maybe start something with new girl then go running back to the ex. I know she did me wrong with the way the breakup went down but I can't deny I still long for her. How to deal?
TL;DR: | Long term GF broke up with me in a terrible way, met a new lady on site whom I'm suppose to meet this weekend but still long for the ex. Help pls. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [27 F] and afraid of being alone now that my ex [26 M] of 1 year has broken up with me.
POST: My ex bf of a little over a year completely blindsided me with a break up two weeks ago and I am having a really hard time dealing with it. He told me that he did not want to be in a relationship anymore. He spent nearly every day and night at my place (his choice) and things seemed to be going fine.
I am not sure why he never talked about his feelings or doubts with me, and I thought we communicated very openly.
After two weeks, I am having a hard time adjusting to living alone, sleeping alone, eating alone, and not having anyone to talk to in the evenings when I unwind. I feel very emotionally attached to him, and I am also having a hard time not making contact with him, even though I know no contact is the way to go. I have been trying to keep busy, going to the gym, taking care of and playing with my dogs, etc. but I am deathly afraid of being alone.
I found out yesterday that he is taking a job in a new state, and to add insult to injury, screwing a girl he was messing around with before we committed to each other. Now I am stuck questioning if he was faithful to me, if he felt like I was holding him back, if he ever really loved me or if he faked the entire thing.
He has told me that he loves me, that I was the best girlfriend he's ever had, and that he may be ready for the level of commitment I want in a couple of years. I can't help but think he is trying to keep me on the back burner while he goes out and sees if the grass is greener.
I'm losing sleep at night over a situation that I have no control of, and I just want to be passed this.
I am severely afraid of being alone, I haven't been single in quite a while (I had an "in-between boyfriend" aka FWB before him and right after my last long relationship).
Any advice on how to deal with this loss and confusion is appreciated.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me unexpectedly, is moving to a new state and I am having a hard time with being alone and feeling abandoned. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [22F] tell my mom [54F] about my tattoo, or wait for her to notice?
POST: Hi reddit. This isn't as serious as many posts in this sub, but I'd love to get some outside opinions. Also I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this question!
A little over a month ago I went on a trip with my boyfriend, during which I got a tattoo. It is of a tree, above my ankle bone, and has personal meaning for me. I don't regret it at all, and am happy with it.
I didn't tell my parents about it because they are very conservative, traditional people. Growing up, I got lots of lectures about how you shouldn't do drugs, have sex before marriage, dye your hair, get lots of piercings, tattoos, etc because these were "bad" life decisions, but that they would still love me if I made those decisions. I've made several of these "bad" decisions, but most were easier to hide as to not cause my otherwise very loving and supportive parents distress. We have a good relationship, and I just keep the stuff I know they won't like to myself.
I live with my parents still because I'm still in university, and I haven't been explicitly trying to hide my tattoo since I got it, but it's still winter where I live, so I have been mostly wearing pants. They have not noticed. I am dreading the moment when they notice.
My plan was to just wait until they noticed, and then just explain that it was a choice I made during my trip. However, I am going swimming with my aunt, my mom, and my 3 and 5 year old cousins tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure my mom is going to notice then.
Should I just tell her before we go? Or should I just wait and see if she notices like I originally planned?
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any advice you may have!
TL;DR: | Got a tattoo a month ago, didn't tell my parents, but my mom will probably notice when we go swimming tomorrow. Should I just tell her or let her notice it on her own? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: It's been one hell of a strange year and I really feel like I deserve a fresh start in a new city. Does anyone have any inspirational OR cautionary stories about leaving familiarity behind and starting anew? How did it go?
POST: I don't know how to describe how I have been feeling, besides to say that home just doesn't feel like home anymore. I have been stagnant in this same area for many years now and I realized recently that I have been to more countries in Europe than states in the US, despite having grown up in Southern CA my whole life. I have had a growing desire to relocate and wipe my slate (partially) clean. I realize this is not some "cure all" solution. I am not trying to run from problems or my past, I just know there is more out there for me.
I don't have a ton of resources to tour different cities, I kind of just have to go with my gut and put in a transfer at work. If my transfer is accepted, I can relocate to just about anywhere. I just don't know how to find the city that is right for me. Growing up in CA, I have not learned much about how I handle varying weather, but I do love the rain and it would be nice to experience seasons and hopefully a lower cost of living. Anyone have any success stories or tales of failure for trying to start fresh?
TL;DR: | I want to leave my city, but I am apprehensive. Hoping for stories from those who have tried and succeeded as well as those who have tried and ended up unhappy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 F] screwed up last night with my boyfriend [26 M]. Need advice
POST: So last night I got pretty drunk (I rarely do) and was in general acting like a fool. I started drinking early and my friends came over (usually we just hang out with his friends) so I was excited and continued to drink. I feel horrible because my bf is mourning his mother's passing. Yesterday was a day of remembrance after 40 days. That's one thing my bf is upset about (understandably). I apologized and deeply regret acting like that on such a day..
The other thing is I was talking to my friends in the other room and I guess my bf overheard me say something like "honestly we will probably get engaged this year". I don't remember saying that and don't honestly believe that either. We have been dating for a year and a half and are in general happy and in love. I do see our potential to be engaged in the future, but definitely not this year. I feel so silly that I said something like that. I really hope that doesn't scare him away or make him think that's what I want. Guys, what would you think in response to that? I told him I didn't remember saying it or believe it (which is true).
Anyways, I know what I did was horrible and I truly regret it. What should I say or do to make this right?
TL;DR: | Got drunk on a special day to my bf as he remembered his mom and said some stupid things. What should I do/expect now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I owe money and I have none. I'm scared. Please help.
POST: I'm in my early 20s and owe $20,000 to a school. **But it's not a student loan**... it's money I owe directly to the school itself. (I didn't have financial aid at the time.)
I forgot about the payments for awhile (about two years) and just fell on hard times. Now they've sent a collection agency after me. **The school refuses to work with me — it's all in the collection agency's hands.**
They said they'll put me on a monthly payment plan of $250/mo for seven years. I'm fine with that (I'm willing to pay it back), but **they want $4,000 up front** before they'll agree to the monthly payments. I have about fifty bucks in my checking account and make $10/hr. They want the $4,000 ASAP.
**I don't have anyone to give me $4,000** (or even half that). I have **no collateral** to my name, so getting a loan from a bank would be very difficult. My **credit is terrible** and so is everyone else's in my family.
What am I supposed to do? The collection agency has said it could lead to legal repercussions. I would start making the payments if I didn't have to make a downpayment of $4,000, but they won't agree to it. Should I see a debt consolidator to work this out? To put me on some sort of plan? Am I going to get sued? Will I go to jail? I'm completely falling apart. I just want to be a normal college kid like everyone else.
TL;DR: | — Owe $20,000. Collections wants $4,000 now. I have no money, no collateral, terrible credit, and a family that can't help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [40M] with my GF [39F] should I be concerned or upset about her questions?
POST: We've been together for 1 year and 4 months. In March we discussed taking a 2 week vacation. We had not set plans or bought tickets yet. In May, my mom told me she is having surgery in July - during the time we were supposed to be on vacation. My GF asked me 1. did I volunteer to go home and help my mom post-surgery or did my mom ask me to come help her, and 2. my GF asked me to ask my mom to delay her surgery until after our vacation. While the surgery is out-patient and not life threatening, my mom did ask me to come home and help her to / from hospital and to walk her dog for a few days while she's down. Am I wrong to be upset over this and look at my GF in a different - more selfish way?
TL;DR: | is my gf being selfish for being mad at me for not going on vacation and her requesting my mom move her surgery date |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I want to join the national Guard but a juvenile case impedes me, what can I do about this?
POST: I was a rowdy kid and liked fire. I lit up a small trash can on fire in my middle school while i was in seventh grade. went through the court proceedings i admitted I had done it because my parents being not very happy with me and currently seeking government "support" for me, didn't want to help me clear my name. (ie. SSI) but that's another story all together. let's just say it wasn't my parent's interest for me to get better. in fact they encouraged me to act out so "we can money and Buy you what you need".. which was them just not having to work and go to the welfare office. fast forward a few years later all is going great and i'm seemingly on the way to success until i tried to join the marines my senior year and was confronted by these charges and was DQ'ed. They said wait till you're 18 those charges shouldn't come up anymore. I live in pennsylvania I was under the impression that was the case once you turn 18. Well i tried once i turned 18 and was faced with the same problem. I was devastated It was the career of choice for me I honestly wanted to go into a military career, still do.
Having issues with my parents i was kicked out two months before i graduated. having nothing and no where to go i looked for a job and started taking as many hours as i could and after couch surfing for three weeks i had enough money to rent a room. needles to say i had to choose between work and school. and being mad as I was I wanted to show my parents that I could make it. So here I am today. asking for help. What are my options?
TL;DR: | I want to join the National Guard. high school drop out, and a juvenile charge of arson. It was a small (maybe two gallon) trashcan. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [F26] finding it difficult to deal with husband [27] working full time and studying part time.
POST: As title says I'm finding it hard to deal with my husband working full time and studying part time. He leaves before I get up and is often home late, has dinner with me and than goes to our study to do work.
We've been together eight years and married four years. We have a nine month old son. I am going back to work soon (only one day) and feel so selfish for getting upset.
I just feel like I'm a single mum all of a sudden and don't know how to be supportive. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | husband works full time and studies part time. Feel like I'm a single mum and want to know how to be more supportive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: The next step in my life - Need advice
POST: Howdy all,
I am a 24 year old male. I am at a point in my life where I have no obligations (outside of student loans) and nothing tying me down to anything too concrete. This gives me an opportunity to do some really cool things. I have recently been trying to knock some things off my bucketlist, including living in a state I've always wanted to for almost a year with a kickass job (seasonal) and living in the best place I've ever lived. Now that this position is over, I find myself free to do something different (well, I really don't have a choice).
There are things I want to do. From a career perspective, there are jobs around the country I qualify for and would love to take - again, because I don't have any obligations, I am free to go whenever do and whatever. At the same time, I thoroughly enjoyed my previous position and the lifestyle of where I was living and lifestyle I had. I turned down some incredible jobs to stick with seasonal position (although they were also seasonal) and look forward to applying to them next summer. I try to find positions that can project my career or help my resume in some way. What I would really like is an opportunity on the southeast coast to try some new things, definitely in tourism or history.
I am in no dilemma and should count my blessings. However, it's tough to plan the next step because I find it pretty difficult to find job in a state I am not from or have an address in. I want to get out and explore and have a job that has me in constant contact with people in an administrative position with direct oversight over a program.
I feel blessed. Things are well. I can't wait to buy a kayak and start living on the water. Soon, I'll buy some new musical instruments too as I love music. I am enjoying everything right now, but I am becoming wrapped up in a job search and trying to find the best position for myself and the company, as well as my career goals.
TL;DR: | Young guy, free to do whatever, needs to know what the next appropriate step is in my life to give myself the best chance to succeed in the future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30M aus] with my so [29F viet] 8 months, pregnant and distant, when i bring it up we verbally fight
POST: we tent to fight over the same thing all the time, i love her to death.
but shes always tired an goes straight home, i rarely get to see her, i can't go see her because her mother viet has not invited me around
our twins are due in 4 months.
last week it got almost too much for me to bare that i went to jump off a building, i tell her that i love he she shrugs it off.
2 days ago i went to meet her and have dinner hoping to patch things up, convo starts she is talking to a councilor an starts to go down the same path sounding like she wants more space.
so i pay for dinner walk out feeling like my heart had been ripped out
she gets mad at me find out she wanted me to move in after she had been talking to my sister and mother thats what she didint get to say
i feel like crap when that is all i wanted now she won't talk says she needs space, and i'm back to crying myself to sleep, an not functioning.
honestly i feel like i should have just jumped, because i screwed up i admitted it to her.
i excepted her flaws, when she lied on her birthday she was out partying with her drunk abusive ex whom use to rape her.
i just wish she could except that instead of me saying something i regret i walk away to think because she is my first serious relationship since i was 16, i don't know what else to say
TL;DR: | i want to be involved in a real relationship/pregnancy, she is always tired or wants space an we fight over it |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I need some tax help because I am lost: Lived overseas for most of 2013, foreign income <$10,000, just want to put as much in my Roth IRA as possible
POST: Like the title says, I have been living abroad for most of 2013, but less than 330 days (so I don't think the foreign income exclusion thing would work for me, but then I don't even know if I should be trying to do that). My income was less than $10,000. My understanding is that I can contribute to my Roth IRA up to my taxable income, but then would that mean I couldn't try for the foreign tax credit? Also, what is the foreign tax credit? With my income being so low I was also wondering if I need to file at all, but I assume you have to if you contribute to an IRA
I did not work in the states at all, so I have no W2s or other tax forms (aside from savings account earned interest)
If I can contribute, should I file first and then contribute, or vice-versa? if you can't tell I really have no idea what I'm doing.
And yes, I have my emergency fund and no credit card debt, so I would really like to fill my Roth to the brim
TL;DR: | am I correct in assuming I can contribute $5500 into my Roth IRA if I had worked overseas and had income above $5500? do I need to do anything special on my taxes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: At what point in a child's life (or if ever) does it become inappropriate for a parent to kiss their child on the lips?
POST: I do not have any children of my own, I am a bit away from that point in my life, but I have always wondered this. What is acceptable and what isnt? I'm sure there are many people who would say that it is never inappropriate to kiss your child on the lips, but it seems to me that it would become a bit taboo at a certain age. And I'm not talking about a peck on the cheek or even the side of the mouth as is sometimes customary, I am talking about a full lip to lip kiss (if even for a brief second). Obviously once a child reaches the early stages of adolescence they will start to move away from their parents nurturing and reject the more intimate showings of affection. Maybe this is just me, but if I saw a dad kiss his teenage daughter on the lips it would look odd to me, as if their relationship is somewhat controversial. Let me know if I am just completely wrong here and out of place, I mean no offense. I am just naive to the subject and I've always wondered what the dynamic of a parent-child relationship is from the other end.
TL;DR: | Is kissing your child on the lips ever a taboo issue? Does it depend on their age or specific situation? Also let me know if I am completely wrong and being an ass (I tend to be guilty of this a lot) |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Are girls annoyed by this?
POST: So I was driving with my buddy the other day, and I see in my 11 o'clock view this beautiful girl on the sidewalk just standing there talking with some friends. So obviously I start to stare at her as I drive by (because, well, I know I won't get it but at least I can enjoy looking at it). As I'm looking and getting closer, I notice that she is looking right at me, and as I pass her, she points at me and starts mouthing words. Who knows what she was saying, but my question is, do girls get annoyed by guys looking at them as we drive by? I feel like it should be compliment, but maybe that's just me?
TL;DR: | I drove by a hot girl, enjoyed her beauty for a bit and drove on. Annoying or complimentary to girls? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (20y) I cheated on my girlfriend with my ex, she found out
POST: My relationship with my ex (3years, 21y) was slowly declining; i was talking with her about ending it. Our relationship was the same from the beginning, just sex and talk, we never build anything together. We were meeting every Friday for a few weeks, and i had sex with her, even when i dated my new girl. I never had any courage to tell my ex about her.
My new girlfriend (20y) knows about my ex, but was unhappy in the way, how i tried to end my relationship with her. So there was no other way, i told my girlfriend about my new girlfriend and it all ended.
But afterwards, i wasn't sure, if all feelings to my ex are gone. So i meet her again and had sex with her, to find out, when there is any attraction between us. And there wasn't anything. But my new girlfriend funded out, about my experiment.
What shall I do, to help her forgive me?
TL;DR: | I had sex with my ex to find out, if i feel something still to her. My new girl found out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Dating a wonderful man[31] whom I[f/27] love and want to marry someday. He does not want kids, and I absolutely do. Do I even bother continuing the relationship?
POST: Me, 27 year old woman, him, 31 year old man. Our lives are progressing steadily together. He's buying a house, I'll be living with him and helping him with renovations, gardening, etc. Our lives are blending harmoniously, and I'm loving every step.
He does not want kids, at all. He's humored me the few times I've mentioned it, but tonight I expressed that I feel the need to someday adopt a child from a foreign orphanage, and I wanted to have a basic conversation about that desire. He shut it down. I think he's reaching a point where he's getting nervous about the seriousness of the two of us, and I can't fault him for sticking to his guns on the topic.
Do I end the relationship now, and save us the grief of disagreeing in the future? Do I stick it out and hope one of us will have a change of heart? Apart from this glaring problem, I can see us spending the rest of our lives together.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I seem to be a match made in heaven, but disagree about wanting to have kids. Do I end the relationship, our stick it out and hope one of us will change our mind? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Did my friend ruin any chance I had with this girl?
POST: Long story short, I've never had a girlfriend, and my friends suggested a girl that goes to our highschool (we'll call her D.). Last Thursday, I talked to her. I walked over to them (her and a girl I know, M.). As soon as she saw me, D. started talking to me, although I have never talked to her before. We talked for a couple minutes, she asked about my leg (I just had knee surgery). Everything went fine, and I went back to talk with my other friends after we were done talking.
Fast forward to today, a [girl]friend told me that my [guy]friend, A. was talking about it with M. on facebook. I ask him what he said, and this is pretty much the conversation they had:
>M.: Hey, why did J. and them (friends I was with at the time) tell Bill to come over and to talk to D.?
>A.: So he could talk to her...
>M.: Does he like her?
>**A.: I don't think so, he just wanted to talk to her...**
>**M.: Oh, was just wondering... After he walked away, D. asked me if he liked her.**
When he told me, I [admittedly and shamefully] lost my cool with him, and freaked out because he might of very well ruined my chances with her by saying that. Yes, I'm glad he didn't say "yes", but he could have just said "I don't know". I asked two of my best [girl]friends what they thought.
One said she might like me because she asked if I liked her, and told me not to worry about what A. told M. Another said the same thing in regards to the first part, but said he might have messed me up. Also, they both told me to continue to talk to her (as in tomorrow).
(By the way: I chilled out later and apologized to A. for overreacting.)
TL;DR: | Is asking her friend if I like her a sign she might be interested? Should I be worried that my friend ruined any chance I had with this girl by telling her friend he "doesn't think I like her"? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) of 4 years, first kiss advice?
POST: Yes, I know what you're thinking, how can you date someone for 4 years and never kiss them? I wonder the same thing myself sometimes, but I've never really expressed these feelings before.
I met my boyfriend in high school. I was new to the state and he was kind to me, and I eventually developed a crush. I asked him to our turnabout dance and he said yes, and after a few months he asked me on a real date. We've been dating since then.
After about 2 years we went to separate colleges but we decided to stay long distance. We skype at least once a week and we see each other a few times over the summer. It's not more often than that because my parents don't like him and his parents don't like me, it makes things a bit difficult.
We haven't kissed because I was always taught to defer to the guy's judgment and not make any moves, since I had already done the initial asking out. I assumed he was just shy, and after about a year I just forgot about it.
But lately I've been really jealous of couples that kiss outside my dorm, and I wish I could have that with my boyfriend. The next time I see him will be in june, should I wait to discuss it with him then or should I tell him sooner at our next skype call?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I have never kissed, I'm curious about it and don't know if I should bring it up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex[26 M] kissed me and I[29 F] don't know how to deal
POST: So my ex and I were friends for a while before we started dating. We dated for a couple months and ended up breaking it off without a lot of drama. It's been 5 months since we were together. We are still friends and hang out a lot within our friend group as well as alone. I consider him to be one of my best friends. I do still have feelings for him, but I keep them under wraps pretty well.
A few days ago, we were all hanging out at the pool... drinking and carrying on. Out of the blue my ex kissed me. Granted, I was pretty drunk and don't remember if anything led up to this or not, but I'm positive about the kiss. I'm also pretty sure I didn't lead him on because I'm always really careful about it around him. Afterwards, neither one of us talked about it and just continued on as we normally do.
How should I handle this? Should I just let sleeping dogs lie? Should I bring it up with him?
TL;DR: | My ex that I still love randomly kissed me and we pretended like it didn't happen. Should I talk to him about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Has internet addiction had a negative impact on your life?
POST: I'm starting to believe that I have an actual problem with being "addicted" to the internet, and it's negatively effecting my life.
Like our golden boy karmanaut, I attend a top 10 law school--maybe the same one? DUN DUN DUN. My inability to get off the damn internet and study has been a real problem throughout the semester and has ultimately led to me being a lot further behind than I would like to be with finals coming very soon. I'm super stressed about finals and not being prepared, yet I still find myself wasting countless hours on the internet doing completely unproductive shit when I *know* I need to be studying. Law school is insanely expensive, and if you don't have good grades in this economy, you very well may not get a job. I'm potentially throwing away $150k+ because I can't get off the internet and study.
No, it isn't a porn addiction that manifests itself on the internet. I spend the majority of the time reading articles on nytimes, legal news sites, random shit from reddit, etc. For instance, I spent a good while last night reading the high-end escort pimp("manager") IAMA, which was really interesting, by the way.
Has anyone had similar issues? I've tried turning off my wireless, but I end up just justifying a quick 15 minute break to check my email, which of course turns into hours. I *have* to use the computer as law school is basically entirely done on your laptop. What can I do to get myself to exercise the necessary self-control to just fucking stop?
TL;DR: | I waste copious amounts of time on the internet when I know I should be studying for my outrageously expensive law school education, and I cannot get myself to just stop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [20 M] entitled to masturbate, or is my gf [20 F] right, in that masturbation is wrong
POST: My girlfriend recently discovered some coconut oil and a 'soiled' t shirt in my night stand dresser, and now she's angry at me and feels betrayed. She says that because I masturbate, that means that I don't need her anymore, and that I should wait until we have sex to have sexual release. I really need a second opinion here, or at least a devil's advocate, because I think this is beyond messed up. I think that I have a right to have control over my body, and that I should have some way of relieving my sexual drives (which are way higher than hers) without relying and expecting something from her.
This hasn't been the only prohibition either. She feels really anxious and insecure about me smoking weed on my own (but it's fine if it's with her for some reason), having a beer alone or with my friends (I'm in the dog house for at least a day or two after this), and our relationship almost ended when she found out that I watched porn. We had a discussion about this last issue, and we seem to be on the same page, but I can't help but feel like this is a slippery slope. How many of my personal freedoms will I have to sacrifice for this relationship? I'm not happy in this anymore, but there are moments where it does show promise and we are happy. Let me know if you guys need more info about any of this I'll try to be as impartial as I can.
TL;DR: | How should I handle my girlfriend's insecurities surrounding me having a good time without her? Am I in the wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [m/22] can't get intimate with her [21]...
POST: We are in a relationship for about a month, we were sending each other SMS's or were talking throuch facebook during the summer because we where living in different places at the time. Last week we got together and since then we go out every night, but mostly with other friends, not any dates or private situations. She is the experienced one, having been in some relationships while this is my first relationship. She doesn't have a problem with that. She always takes the initiative and sometimes kisses me (only on the cheek) or puts her arm around me when we are walking, some light touching etc. I for some reason can't make a move, I feel very awkward doing something like this. It didn't bother me the last times we where out but now I feel like I'm not giving her enough, that I disappoint her. I'm feeling that I'm doing everything wrong. The worst part of our "dates" are when we try to say good night you can feel the awkwardness in the air, I'm speaking from my side, I don't know what I should do, in the end we say a clumsy "good night, see you tomorrow" with some light touching maybe a kiss on the cheek but for some reason it doesn't feel right to me.
Tell me, am I going mad? What should I do to overcome my awkwardness? I really like this girl but somehow my brain just shuts down at the worst moments. Can this be because we've been on a real date only one time? We also used to be really good friends for 2 years.
TL;DR: | For some reason I can't get intimate with the girl I like, we've been going out for about a week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 24F with my 31M Boyfriend. We have no sex life since we had our son two and a half years ago. Any ideas how to fix this?
POST: For the most part my relationship with my boyfriend is great. We have a beautiful little boy and I love and care about him very much.
But, since we had our son two and a half years ago, my boyfriend has developed little or no interest in sex. He will have sex with me once a month maximum and only if I initiate it. Other than that he is perfectly content with us not having sex and laying in bed having a quick cuddle and a peck on the lips and going straight to sleep.
I've brought up the issue several times. He blames it on being tired when he gets in from work or there being housework to do. Basically if there is dishes in the sink or any ironing to do he can't get in the mood.
He looks at pictures of girls and saves them to his phone (people who are a lot slimmer, fitter than me. I'm a size 12) and I'm beginning to worry that because I know weigh more than I did in the past that he is no longer attracted to me and trying to sugar coat it.
I don't feel as if my sex drive is a big enough issue for me to end the relationship as I feel like I'm ruining my son's chance at a happy family if I end it for that reason.
Sorry this might be TMI but I've tried going to bed naked. No response. I've tried dressing up, nothing. I've tried literally everything I can think of.
Any ideas for bringing the spark back?
TL;DR: | My BF won't have sex with me. We have a son so it feels like a bad reason to split. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22,m) boyfriend and I (22,f) are going through tough times and its my fault. Our relationship might end.
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 years. We are very compatible with our beliefs, ideas and other important stuff. We both want to be together (as brought up by both of us various times). The problem is not the relationship per se but my lack of discipline and control in my own life.
We are both studying a career in science but I am half assing through it and life in general like there is no tomorrow. I have never been disciplined and/or other good qualities that help one have a stable life. I am studying what I want, the problem is that avoid problems when they are presented to me. I havent had any self control for a long time and I am thus failing very badly in school. In other parts of my life I have gotten better but still have some work to do.
This semester I am failing all subjects again, it is ridiculous. I have thought about a solution and these past weeks I have actually gotten around to studying and feel like like I am approaching an actual solution. This studying is not going to be enough to save the semester and when I get my grades back this is going to probably cause a break up between me and him. This has happened many times. I slack off, I fail everything and say I will change very convincingly and some times he stays with me, sometimes we break up for a while. I think that what I do is very wrong but this time I think I can actually change.
How can I speak to him about this and make it seem like the real thing this time? Its not to say I have lied in the past about wanting to change but this time I feel like I have gone deeper in to what the problem is. I understand we might break up and he has told me that when I change he will be waiting to be back with me, but I think we can make it work together this time. I am sorry if this is written in a confusing manner. I will answer questions as they arise, thank you!
TL;DR: | I am half-assing my life and I want to assure my boyfriend he can trust me to really change in order for us to stay together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Programming isn't fun for me. What makes it fun for you?
POST: I'm having some issues at the moment. I'm currently a junior and a Computer Science major, but I don't like programming. It's supposed to be fun, and those that are into it are so passionate about it that it makes me feel guilty. The classes I'm on focus on Java, and it seems as through some of you here would say that's the case but I started to teach myself C++, and wasn't entertained by that either. All I've felt so far is frustration. Even when I get even a simple program working, I don't get any satisfaction out of it.
I sincerely enjoy computers and always have, but I think I might like using them more than programming them. I've always enjoyed reading up on hardware too. I enjoy the mathematical applications of Computer Science, so I enjoy math as well.
I'm deeply in love with anything space related, be it planetary science, cosmology, or just physics in general, but I'm a very visual and hands-on kind of learner. I think I've discovered that Geoscience would be the best path because I can incorporate technology with observation.
What are your favorite things about programming or computer science in general? Am I making a poor choice?
TL;DR: | Programming isn't fun for me, I like hands-on and observational things. What makes it fun for you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Got a verbal offer. How to request a written?
POST: So yesterday I got a phone call with a verbal offer (fairly decent offer. I was happy with it, and didn't want to risk ruining anything by asking for higher) from a company after a year and a half of searching. They gave me a salary and a start date, then told me to do a background check online as part of the process. However, she never mentioned anything about a letter offer, I only got the verbal.
Seeing as how my start date is in a little over two weeks, how do I/should I ask about a letter? Should I email the recruiter and inquire about it now, or wait until the background check is complete (and subsequently right before my start date) before mentioning it? I also wasn't sure about how to go about it without making a bad first impression. I suppose a recruiter would understand, but it stills feels weird to me to ask about all that.
Knowing my luck, I'll go home and it'll be waiting for me, making me worry over nothing. But since it will be my first real job after graduating college, I'm over-thinking everything. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Should I inquire about a written letter, or (with ~two weeks before the start date) wait to see if they give me one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Destructive mom- how to cope?! Siblings and welfare involved.
POST: Hey Reddit,
I am really hurt and saddened by my mom. I have experienced years of emotional abuse. I live overseas, I am in my mid twenties, I moved out of my mom's house when I was 17, I have put myself through high school and university and I now live with my partner.
I was wondering what are some of the ways you cope with your mom that you can't handle? I have younger siblings that live with her. I want to save them, but don't know how. I fear welfare will separate them and take them away from her, which will be a good thing in the long run, but how do I help them cope? I think it would be extremely hard for them to be separated. They are between the ages of 9-17 and are all very close. None of my siblings have been to school before and are poorly educated by her at home. She is manipulative and destructive.
Some coping mechanisms would be really helpful. Has anyone else been removed from the parent's home and put into welfare care?
Thanks :)
TL;DR: | Mom is withholding education from my siblings and welfare might take them away and separate them. I live overseas and feel helpless. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm not sure why I wanted that masters' degree.
POST: And this is why:
Last year I suffered from a major depression and I felt like I couldn't accomplish anything. That's why this year, I decided to study two bachelor's simultaneously, in order to prove to myself that I could accomplish something.
It all worked out fine, I completed my bachelors and I decided to apply for a researchmaster. I have to pass a test, but if I pass it, I am accepted into this program. However, a few days before the test, I am not sure if I really want to be accepted after all.
What i'm thinking about is this: Is it because I want to feel like I'm smart, like I'm an excellent student (the master is known for only accepting 'excellent students', whatever that may be), or because I would really like to do research?
I have no idea what to do now. It could be that I'm just worried that the test won't go well, but it feels different. It feels like I don't want to do 2 more years of the same thing, while feeling the constant pressure of people telling me to be excellent. I can't deal with that pressure very well.
TL;DR: | I can be accepted into an exclusive masters programme, but I don't know whether I want it because of my interest in the subject or because of my need to feel smart and excellent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with a girl [25 F] of 1.5 months, long distance going too fast. Need advice.
POST: Hi Guys/Gals,
I need some advice on what to do as I'm not very experienced in dating. I met a girl about 1hr 30 mins away through a friend. We got to talking and we hit it off. Ever since the first date, we have seen each other every weekend and have had sex multiple times. I believe we are taking things way too fast and it is partly my fault.
I do really like spending time with her and she's a lot of fun, but she seems to like me a lot more than I like her. She is already asking me to commit to the relationship, keeps buying me gifts, and tries to contact me all the time.
Because we are long distance, we have to see each other during the weekends. I'm just not ready to completely give up every weekend to spend time with her as I still don't know her that well yet. It would be one thing if she was local and we could see each other maybe once a week, but it's too much too soon for me right now.
I really do like the girl, but I feel like I need to break it off with her to be fair to both of us before we get too invested in the relationship. She is coming off very clingy and is scaring me a bit. It is also causing me to lose attraction in her that I originally had when we first met.
Should I tell her we need to slow down or break it off completely? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I also want to be honest with her that she's taking things way too fast and I'm not ready for that. I could use some advice on how to approach this conversation.
Thanks.
TL;DR: | Girl I met 1.5 months ago lives 1.5 hrs away is becoming clingy. Should I break it off with her or tell her we need to slow it down? How should I approach this conversation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [26 M] do a better job of being there for my SO[23 F] who seems to be very saddened after having an abortion.
POST: The title says it pretty much.. but i'll give a bit of background.
We have been together for 6 years, and are definitely best friends.
We have a 3 year old son together whom we love with all of our hearts.
Recently, she had an abortion. She seems happy on the outside, but I can tell it's bothering her. She has a hard time communicating feelings to me, and she always has. It bothers me a bit, but rather than turn this around and argue with her, I want to *show* her that I care deeply about what shes going through mentally.
The fact that she is not very open about her feelings to me makes it difficult to know when to say certain things to her... That being said, What can I do to REALLY show her I care about what shes going through?
TL;DR: | SO of 6 years had an abortion recently, she seems to be having a hard time dealing with it after all has been said and done... yet won't open up to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [f/22] need to inform my former best friend [f/22] that she's no longer my maid of honor.
POST: I'm having a wedding some time this year and I already told my bff that I wanted her to be my Maid of Honor but I've changed my mind under circumstances. I wasn't aware wedding etiquette so I was under the impression that a Maid of honor was just a title of, I don't know, preference rather than a title that comes with a job. She lives in Austin, TX and I in El Paso, TX. Realistically she can't uphold her duty as Maid of Honor, being 8 hrs away.
I've chosen my sister to be my Maid of Honor because she 1) lives here, 2) She knows almost better than anyone else what I like in general, 3) She can see what I want but yet has the ability to tell me otherwise if its no good concerning the wedding, and 4) I just feel better having her as my right hand.
I just don't know how to break it to my best friend, I want her to understand that its because of the duties that need to be upheld, the responsibility of being a Maid of Honor. That our friendship is the same and I value and love the same as ever.
How do I word this to her?
TL;DR: | I need to explain to my former bff/ Maid of Honor that she is no longer my MOH due to long distance. Nothing personal whatsoever. Heeeelp! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/m]I feel like my girlfriend [19/f] gets annoyed pretty easily. How do I let her know that I don't mean to do it?
POST: It's usually things that I think aren't very big, like missing a question after she asks like 3 or 4 at once. She gets pretty bummed out and expects me to find out what I did wrong, and somehow make up for it. This can take up to a couple of hours to do, and stresses me out quite a bit. Should I be doing this?
I've told her before that I don't mean to do it, and I've gotten better at steering clear of 'landmines', but when I do hit one, she still gets really bummed out. Even when she accepts an apology, she says things like 'only this time'. I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells sometimes.. is this normal? What are some things I can do to make this better? Should I try to argue that I'm not in the wrong?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend gets really annoyed at small things randomly, should I always relent? Am I just meant to apologise every time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 20 [M] just got dumped by his fiancée. tips to deal with sadness :(?
POST: I've only ever had 2 gfs....one, I got engaged to obviously. I'm in the military and I'm just...sad. I can't talk to my CO about it because I'm not crazy sad...but I just need some help dealing with it for the next week. I'm on my phone so I couldn't read sidebar so I hope I didn't do anything wrong :(.
More info. It was a long distance relationship even without the military, but we saw each other every weekend or so.
She was a recovering drug addict/party girl. I'm the stay in and game/write/cuddle guy...so we disagreed a lot. I felt like we just...I don't know how to explain it. anything was worth it to have a hug from her or see her smile...I'm just sad all that is gone. she left me because she saw her 2 year ex and said she loved him more than me. ouch.
TL;DR: | Kids get engaged, girl sees boy she was with for 2 years and decides she's happier with him than me. I am now sad. :(. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] I have zero confidence when it comes to how I look.
POST: For various reasons, mainly due to people when I was younger telling me I was hideously unattractive, I have a pretty low opinion of myself.
Now, I am not the lightest person around. I am not fat though, not drastically fat. People tend to tell me I look cute a lot now, hell, people have even started to flirt with me, albeit online. This girl at the moment, who I have yet to meet (yes she is real, will meet her on Friday) finds me very cute.
The problem is, I have no confidence in my looks, at all. People have always told me I am ugly, so i feel as though people are telling me this stuff just to make me feel good.
I have always thought I was one of the ugliest people around. Even now, I can't look in a mirror for too long. I can't stand the sight of me.
So, how do I overcome this? How can I trust people when they say I look good?
TL;DR: | I think I am ugly, I can't look in the mirror at all, people say I am cute. How do I overcome my feelings about my looks? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[24F] met a guy[22M] online 8 years ago. Saw him in person a month ago. Now, I'm going away for a year.. what do I do?
POST: Let me tell you our background story first. I met this guy online 8 years ago on MySpace when it was all cool. We have never seen each other during this 8 years because we were young and I've been in two serious relationships in a mean time. We both live in a different countries in Europe, 3 hours on the plane.
Last month he came over to finally see me. It was all great, we have already admitted we have feelings for each other. The problem is.. I'm going away for a year to Australia. And I don't know how to act around boys there. Should I wait for him? Or should I have fun all the way over there?
He said he will be waiting for me no matter what. He's also planning to come there but it's super expensive for him to get there so he is not sure about it.
TL;DR: | Met a guy online 8 years ago. Saw him in person a month ago. Both fell in love. Now I'm going to Australia for a year. Should I continue what we are doing or should I have fun in Aus? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] am having issues with friends of my boyfriend [21M]
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months.
We spend quite a bit of time together, by his choosing.
He doesn't have a car and lives in a one bedroom apartment.
Before we met he didn't have a job and just partied all the time.
We both drank actually drank a lot at the time.
So anyways, After we got together we decided to straighten up.
Fix our messy lives, *together*
His friends that he met during his party period liked me just fine when
I was a crazy party animal too.
But the farther away from that scene my SO and I get the meaner
His old buddies get
Recently I started getting messages from a random facebook
The profile was just sketchy.
The gender was male but the name was a female's name.
They started trying to flirt with me saying I'm pretty
and my name is pretty but I knew better then to fall for it
I started ignoring it and soon after comes harassment.
Here is what they had to say:
wow. you're a very mean person. i don't wanna be friends anymore =l
no wonder everyone hates you now. fuck you too, cunt.
tell my ex best friend of a boyfriend of yours i said hi!
you both can rot in hell together. you both only care about yourselves.
when's the last time either of you even went and hung out
with friends without one another anyway?? probably never.
i want you to know your the reason he doesnt hang out
with us anymore, you bitch!!
i bet your having a bad day because your over sensitivity has got
you boiling over something small and stupid that (SO) did.
is that right? your mad just because your an angry person?
I don't know what to do. At first it was silly trolling from their **ACTUAL**
facebook accounts.
Now it's grown to an anonymous account and harassment.
I don't force my SO into anything.
He makes his own decisions, as do I.
He invites over who he wants.
whatever.
What should I do about this?
TL;DR: | SO's friends troll about me ruining the fun they used to have with my SO. Turned into anonymous harassment. Hurt and confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: BF [23M] of a year changes the subject when I [22F] get mad which makes me even madder.
POST: My BF and I have dated for a year and we're in an LDR in the same time zone but different countries for two months now. Since he left, we've been struggling to find our balance and we've been having fights pretty often now.
My BF isn't the type to share his troubles; he's of the opinion that it's not like it'll change anything and that he doesn't want to worry me. This means that even if he gets mad at me for something/stressed out because of me, he doesn't tell me. I haven't yet had a single time my BF acted angrily towards me.
This means that I start all our fights because I don't have the patience of a saint and I get mad, but even that's pretty rare. Before he left we had maybe two or three fights. Now though, it's usually the smaller dumb things, but the problem is that when I tell him I'm not happy or make it obvious that I'm no, he usually ignores what I say and changes the topic, which ends up making me ridiculously angry - about something that isn't even a big deal.
It's a vicious cycle. To him, I get crazy angry over the smallest things, and for me, I have to get crazy angry over even the smallest things otherwise he'll ignore me.
This sidestepping my feelings/avoiding the topic issue isn't entirely new but it's gotten worse in the past week, probably because my nagging has gotten worse (during the past week we've had three to four minor fights about his being unable to call in the evening , not being able to talk often/long enough etc). The nagging that's getting worse because he keeps ignoring it.
TL;DR: | My BF of a year changes the subject when I get mad, which ends up making me madder - even over trivial things. How do I stop getting mad at him and how do I ask him to stop ignoring my feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (21F) is confused about my (24M) FWB feelings towards me.
POST: Will try to condense this story as much as possible.
Basically I was seeing this guy for a while, we were a "thing". Expressed our feelings for each other and were sleeping together but for a few reasons things didn't work out, he kinda ended it but it ended mutual. About a month later we started a FWB relationship but never spoke about it, it was just a unspoken mutual agreement that started by a drunken hookup. That was exactly a year ago now and we are still sleeping together but it has gotten to the stage where we are sleeping with no one else but each other. It used to be very unemotional relationship. Leaving soon after sex, no sleeping over. No seeing each other unless it was for sex etc But in the last 2-3months things have changed.
He says things to me which lead me to think he likes me and perhaps wants to be more but I'm not sure. It's gotten to the stage where he doesn't even mind if we don't have sex when we see each other he says he just loves spending time with me and he has become very lovey and affection. My friends (even guys) think he likes me when I tell them all the things he says and does. The thing is I think I kinda like how it used to be.
TL;DR: | not sure if my FWB has feelings towards me or if this is just a natural progression after sleeping together for 15 months. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by breaking the nozzle on a soda machine
POST: Obligatory this didn't happen today, but a few years ago.
So in 2012 I was working at Burger King as closer and it was just me and 1 other closer when it gets closer to midnight
On this particular night me and the other closer we're breaking down boxes that various stock came in, when we got the idea to break the boxes in the most interesting ways we could find.
We started jumping, throwing and cutting boxes when I decided to see if he could break the tape in a really long box in one punch. He punched it once while I was holding, but it didn't do anything since it wasn't stable so I brilliantly decided to prop it up against the soda machine. What I *didn't* know was that I propped the load bearing corner of the box dead center on the box part of the machine where the soda is mixed with the carbonation and dispensed.
He punched it but missed the center and was too high and unfortunately punched it with so much force that the box corner nearly snapped the dispenser clean off, soda syrup and carbonated water began to spew forth with the force of Neptune himself and everything was getting covered.
Cue the closing manager who also happened to be the assistant general manager *and* a retired marine coming out in full marine mode yelling just about every variation in the book of the phrase "what the fuck did you guys fucking do" and "you fucking idiots / retards" while running around trying to get the pump system valves to the drive through machine closed to stop the flow. He succeeded after about 15 minutes of flooding and me and the other guy just had a "oh shit we're fucking fired now" look. Luckily he just said to clean the shit up and called us idiots for the rest of the night.
The next day I thought if he didn't fire us for sure the General Manager in the morning will hear about it when she has to call in the coke repair man in and I'll get fired then, but it turns out the AGM did us a solid and just said that the o-ring had failed in the machine by itself.
Best. Boss. Ever.
TL;DR: | busted a soda machine nozzle with a box corner, made a mess everywhere and thought I was getting fired for over 24 hours when I learned my AGM covered for me |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What creative (or suprising) ways have either you, as a parent, or your parents come up with to interact/entertain, punish, or teach your kids or you/your siblings?
POST: I'm not close to becoming a parent seeing as I haven't even graduated college yet, but I really do enjoy hearing stories about parents who had creative, and presumably effective, ways to interact and/or punish their kids. The old methods of sitting in the corner, going to your room, spanking, etc. are trite, un-interesting, and, in my mind, un-effective as they teach kids that in order not get in trouble, you need to be better at hiding what you do; Instead of, this is wrong and you shouldn't do it for this reason. I.e. teach the lesson. I understand you can help prevent mis-behaviors by teaching them ahead of time why doing this or that is wrong, but kids are going to get into trouble; They can't help it, its in their nature.
TL;DR: | I'd rather teach lessons in creative/interesting ways to my children rather than punish them by spanking, sending them to their rooms, etc. which really is not fun for neither the child nor the parent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Her [19F] Father doesn't respect Me [21F], and acts like a dick towards me.
POST: Girlfriend [19F] is an absolute Daddy's girl, which I don't really have too much of a problem with. We've talked about it before, and I've explained that as long as it's always her making the decisions, and not blindly following her dad's every whim, then I'm 100% OK with it. The thing is, her dad has quite a big ego. He loves to talk about himself, loves to explain how everyone loved him at his old job, and they all want him back, and he was super popular and great and wonderful and blah blah blah. It's not like any of this organically comes up in conversation either, the guy just loves to hear his own voice. He never asks me questions about my work or schooling, though I frequently try to ask him friendly questions about his work. Then, he actively just tries to take really pointless jabs at me. "I could have drank more than you when I Was you're age", "School was a lot harder where I went to school, which is a bit more prestigious then where you go to school". The list goes on, and this isn't a rant.
Anyway, the girl and I had a conversation about it, and it caught her completely off guard. She tried to defend his actions, and claim I was "Just mis-hearing him". Then, she brought it up to him and he responded that "I don't just give respect out to anyone. He has to earn it"
So here is my question Reddit:
A. Am I right to be a bit pissed off that she always jumps on his defense and acts like I'm attacking her Dad? I don't hate the guy or anything, I just feel like he's being a dick towards me. I don't like it.
B. I feel really pissed off (Rightfully so?) That her dad thinks that I need to "Earn his respect" by apparently being shat on whenever I try to be friendly. I really wanna pull the "Respect goes both ways" card. IS that appropriate?
C. Where to go from here?
TL;DR: | Her dad is being a dick, and I am trying to be nice, she actively defends his actions though. Read the questions and help me out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m]. My girlfriend/ex-gf[18/f]. Tricky problem with one of her best friends.
POST: So, I met this girl who goes to a school near mine and we really hit it off and we started dating but a few days later i bump into her at the mall with this girl who goes to my school whom i dated a few years back. This gir also happened to be my gf's best friend. However when the bf found out we I was dating my gf she told her that she still loved me and was suffering everyday and how our relationship was killing her, which is a bunch of bs since we have never talked about it in the years since we broke up and we normally get along just fine. So therefore my gf decided to break up with me today due to not wanting to hurt her friend. How do I tell the friend to back off and let my ex=gf make her own decisions and get my gf back.
TL;DR: | girl i dated is best friend of current gf. She said she still loved me so gf broke up with me so as to not hurt her friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/F] Is this guy interested in me or not?
POST: So during the past few months I've been going out a lot to the local clubs and bars. Basically, I met this guy in a club, and over time I've continued bumping into him on an occasional basis whenever we are both out.
He is one of the nicest, most gentleman-like dude I have ever met without coming across with any outwardly creepy intentions. The first time we met, we ended up partying together (with others of course) for the rest of the night. He asked for my number that time, but I got interrupted by this homeless person and it was just an awkward mess.... :( Ever since I've just been bumping into him every now and then and we both somehow always end up dancing and talking until it's 6AM. There have been times where it's only just us two having a long convo until daylight.
My problem is that this guy is so damn ambiguous. I noticed he can be nice and attentive towards me, but at the same time he only talks in friendly gestures and never makes flirty comments. I mean, I really enjoy that he talks to me like an actual person and is a complete gentleman, but at the same that makes it difficult for me to tell what's going on. I'm just like arrrgggh because he did things like ask for my number, talk to me until 6am every time we see each other, offer his arm, offer to take me home when it's daylight... one minute I will get the impression that he's interested, but then the next minute or so I sort of feel as if he isn't. I guess I'm frustrated because from experience, most guys I meet in clubs are proactive and make it extremely obvious when they are interested. Whereas I really just can't tell with this guy. Tbh I haven't seen him in over a month anyway, so I feel like I should just give up. :/
TL;DR: | I'm into a guy I met at a club, can't tell if he's interested or not because he's super nice to me but never makes a move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: (Alberta, Canada) Friend getting out of abusive situation, worried ex will not move out
POST: I know that posting on behalf of someone isn't the best situation, but this is, overall, not the best situation so I'm hoping to get any insight that I can.
A friend of mine is getting out an abusive relationship. Her and her (now) ex had recently signed the lease on a rental. He has voluntarily removed his name from the lease, as well as removed his name from all utilities. They are currently still living together until the end of the month (around a week), and their landlord has been notified and is aware that she will be the sole name on the lease as of the 1st of next month.
Her main fear is that he will not leave once the 1st rolls around. He has said that he's going to, but she has significant doubts. What actions can she take regarding calling cops, etc.? Is this something that her landlord basically has to do, with an eviction notice? (I honestly know nothing of landlord/tenant stuff)
On another note, (and maybe something a largely American population would know less about) what is required in Alberta to get a restraining order or peace bond? She is concerned that she will not be able to provide enough evidence of his abuse to hold up in court.
She is very wary of lawyers and cops... despite all that has happened she does not want to do long term damage to him. She also has limited income and has had to take a lot of time off work from the anxiety/depression the whole situation has caused. I would really like some solid information to bring back to her on how the justice system could actually help her in the long term.
TL;DR: | Friend was in an abusive relationship, is worried that her ex will not move out next month after his name has been removed from the lease. Wondering what action could be taken to keep her safe. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30/F] with multiple friends, falling outs and reconnections
POST: I've known a few people over the years who seemed to have pretty significant issues that they had a lot of trouble addressing. Some of these had to do with drugs, like a friend who was abusing pain killers and even though he passed out repeatedly while visiting me and was acting completely bizarre, he was convinced that he didn't have a problem. He'd already had his license revoked, couldn't keep a job, lived with his GF's parents, and had been forcibly hospitalized on at least one occasion. When I finally put it all together (he was always telling me people were messing with him up till then) and I told him I thought he had a problem he freaked out and said I was stabbing him in the back. I never got to talk to him again and while I can occasionally see on social media that he continued to have problems, I'm really curious as to how he's doing.
I've also had a few very odd roommates in the past who seemed like they might have been suffering from mental illness, but living with them was so unpleasant I was mainly focused on getting away from them at the time. But it was the same kind of deal where they were young and thought no one could possibly understand them, so any advice or criticism met with a lot of backlash.
Now that I'm older I'm sure I could have dealt with risky behavior a lot better, but a part of me still wonders if these people eventually figured their lives out. It doesn't seem wise to seek them so I don't plan to, out but I'm still curious.
Thank you!
TL;DR: | please tell me about someone you had a falling out with over drugs or other strange/risky behaviors that you were later able to check up on. Did they turn out like you thought? Did you reconnect? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit I need some advice, about a picture of gf's cousin on a pornsite.
POST: First, I'm sorry but for reasons that will be come obvious, I'm not putting any pictures. I was happily fapping away, on a site I frequent, when I clicked a small thumbnail image that opened a full frontal picture of my gf's cousin who is legal, but just turned 19 and the picture is obviously at least 6months old. At first I didn't believe it, but it was clearly her, and I wouldn't put it past her last bf to do something like this. I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell my gf cause the site has some great amateur stuff and some great bondage stuff, which is why I go, but it also has a lot of beast and scat porn. Also I don't want to tell my gf's cousin cause she's always had trust and self-esteem issues and I feel this would just make everything worse, especially because things are going well for her for the first time in quite a while.
TL;DR: | I found a pic of my Gf's cousin on a shady porn site and don't know what to do. Reddit, any advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Confused and Down Hearted
POST: I just recently broke up with a girlfriend of almost 3 years. We started dating in highschool and are in our first years of college. I broke up with her for the reasons that were right for me, and were only fair to the relationship.
My real problem is now, I find myself lost. She was my first girlfriend. First everything. Now I don't know how to go after a girl, try to flirt, know when it is the right time for anything. I thought i got a great flirting vibe from a girl before my relationship ended, and i just spend two hours with her tonight and I feel like I was slapped right into the friend zone. It isn't neccisarily important for me to have a girlfriend now, I just don't know where I am at. What I should do with myself.
TL;DR: | How do I find out what I want right now that I am recently broken up with no experience in the dating world? How do i overcome the anxiety of new dating things? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.