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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19M] Been in a relationship with my girlfriend [18F] for one month. We both haven't gotten past second base because of a matter of logistics. How do build that sexual tension when logistics are an issue?
POST: I've been dating my girlfriend for the past month and a bit more. It's clear that we're both into each other, and although I've went on like 6-8 dates with in total, we have yet to have sex, even though we both desperately want to and expressed interest to.
Problem is that it's hard to be physical with her whenever we hangout. As a guy, I express my sexual interest in her by touching -- and although she admits she enjoys it, she isn't a fan of PDA, which I completely understand and respect. We both live with our parents, we have no cars nor dorms, and living in a city it's hard to find an isolated place where it's comfortable for the both of us to proceed and have sex. We rarely even make out -- the last time we made out was three dates ago when we were isolated in a park at night!
It's clear that sex is the next step in our relationship and frankly, it's overdue for the both of us. How could I overcome this problem and find a place where it's comfortable for the both of us to express our sexual desires without feeling like it's PDA?
TL;DR: | Both live with parents, no cars, no dorms. Dated for a bit over a month, want to have sex with each other, but logistically impossible. Girl is against PDA. Need ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Everyone has called me a genius my whole life and it has set me up to fail in college. What can I do to become a better student?
POST: I'm sure a lot of you can identify with being called "smart" all the time and cruising through high school without trying very hard. It's happened to me and because of that, I've somehow convinced myself that I don't need to study very hard because I should just understand everything instantly and if I don't, then it means I'm not "smart."
I've slowly come to realize that this isn't true and I'm surrounded by a host of genuinely smart people and hard workers, meanwhile I'm still trying to get through college as if it was a cake walk like high school.
I have a hard time studying because I've never done it seriously the last 20 years of my life. Even when I try to concentrate and study, I find myself convincing myself "yeah, I pretty much get this, I'll reason it out on the test..."
I was just hoping that someone else might have some insight as to how they overcame this barrier or maybe just some study tips.
TL;DR: | I have a hard time studying because I burned through high school easily and haven't studied seriously for most of my schooling. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How influential is Reddit, really? (second attempt)
POST: I tried posting this question yesterday, but sabotaged it by making it too long-winded. Hopefully this somewhat more readable version (still a little long, sorry) will have more success. I think it's a question worth asking again.
What, in your view, is Reddit's influence both on society in general and on you as an individual?
Primarily, what Real World influence would you say Reddit really has? If one were to try to explain this influence to someone unfamiliar with Reddit, what examples would you give? Such as:
- specific interesting IAMAs
- specific examples of our involvement in various social movements (such as the Rally to Restore Sanity and OWS)
- specific examples of our involvement in helping right a particular injustice (such as exposing the identity of a criminal)
- any statistics or other hard data (Mods/Admins, please chime in)
- general perspectives on Reddit from outside sources (for example [how Reddit impacts news cycles](
Secondarily, how has Reddit influenced you personally? For example:
- Were you the recipient of a redditor's kindness that has changed your life in some way, small or large?
- Was Reddit instrumental in drawing attention to an injustice you suffered?
- Were you scammed via Reddit somehow?
- Did you find a job or lose a ton of weight thanks to Reddit?
- Did you receive a random act of pizza that meant significantly more than a pizza normally should?
The goal here is to compile in one place a variety of examples illustrating Reddit's power of influence, however weak or strong, personal or collective. Please, share your views.
TL;DR: | How influential is Reddit really, for better or worse, in the world at large and/or your personal life, and what examples would you give to best illustrate this influence? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help! I traded my car for a truck and now it won't pass smog cause of a Check Engine Light. What should I do to get the most money out of it?
POST: I live in CA and my tags have now expired. Background Story: When I was about to sell my car, the guy who I was gonna sell it to had a truck (99 Ford Ranger 3.0L V6) and I agreed to trade for it, it didn't have the check engine light on at the time. My car was leaking water and had crapped out a couple times so I thought I was getting a better deal.
The codes the ranger reads are P0443 and P0303... I've tried everything... replacing the Canister Purge Valve, put in new wires and new spark plugs. I've had 2 different mechanics look at it and the truck is still reading that code. The last ditch effort will be to replace the canister purge valve again and if that doesn't work I am truly screwed. Also, I only have about $400 left to spend on it.
Any help reddit? Sorry for the long and technical explanation.
TL;DR: | My truck won't pass smog, I've tried almost everything and I can't fix it. I live in CA. What should I do if I can't fix it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex-boyfriend(?) [31 M] broke up with me [27 F] after 1 month dating/relationship because he's not over his ex who broke up over 1 year ago.
POST: I met this guy who pretty much clicked in every way and checked all the boxes (ambitious, treated me as an equal, great chemistry, thoughtful, intelligent). We were compatible personalities, he's an extrovert perceiver, I'm an introvert judger, both NT with similar ideologies on religion, kids, politics, other important stuff.
It's all good, I feel like given time and nurturing this could be something solid, and 1 month later, he breaks up with me with "it's not you it's me". We still talk post-breakup, and because I'm a direct person with no chill, I asked him what happened.
He said he's still not over his ex, who he broke up with more than a year ago but was in a relationship with for more than 6 years. Which is understandable, and I truly appreciate his honesty of cutting it off instead of letting it fester while he suffered silently.
However, I also wonder if while part of the problem may be that he isn't over his last relationship and insecurities, my own insecurity wonders if maybe I just wasn't enough? Like, if he liked me as much as I liked him, he'd have.. fought harder for us?
I'm still conflicted if I should still be around, maintain communication and hope he 'recovers' enough want to try again with me, a larger, more egocentric part of me thinks that this may just be an excuse to cut off what he doesn't want, and also why on earth should I wait for someone who can't be bothered to fight for us? I would really like for us to work, but I can't browbeat him into it, obviously.
So redditors who met their SO while still 'recovering' from a bad breakup, am I right to walk away or is there hope?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend broke up with me after 1 month, citing not being over his ex & not wanting to be unfair to me. I really like him, but don't know if there's hope. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] sister [18F] is dating a [26M] coworker.
POST: My 18-year old sister is dating a 26-year-old dude. Our parents don't know and telling them is completely out of the question. I'm 20M and live with my 23M boyfriend, so I'm not necessarily the best role model, but I think things through before I do them. I also recently became financially independent from my parents. This may have sparked my sister's rebellion. She wants to move out of my parents' place, so she got a retail job to help support herself. I don't blame her for this - our parents are controlling and kind of awful sometimes. But now she's dating this guy.
I haven't met him because I live in a different state. From what she tells me he seems like a decent guy and not a pervert - he's respectful of the boundaries that come with her youth, and has never dated someone this much younger than him before. However, he's super old - even I would be wary of dating a 26-year-old - and he still works in retail, which isn't a life I want my sister to end up in. She's supposed to be going to art school in the fall, but I'm scared she's going to flake on that with all the other changes in her life. Not to mention, if our parents find out about this guy, they'll stop trusting her and she'll lose the freedom she's managed to earn.
As a rule, I don't tell other adults what they can or can't do, and my sister is an adult. But I don't know what I can do to look out for her safety beyond talking to her and reminding her to be careful. She listens to me, but if I say "break up with him" she won't do it, and she'll stop telling me things.
I'm not that much older than her, and I don't feel like I have enough experience to know how to deal with this. Our parents are useless, and my sister's friends have their own drama so they aren't much help (and they're also 18).
TL;DR: | My sister is dating an older guy. I can't tell her what to do but I want her to be safe and I don't want my parents to find out. What can I do, Reddit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Relationship of 3 years and Weed.
POST: So, I've been dating this girl for 3 years now, and I love her very much and for the most part we have a very healthy and good relationship. I used to smoke weed, a lot, but it bugged her so I stopped. That was almost a year ago. Now, I love marijuana. All of my friends smoke it, and it seems like everywhere I look I see it. We've talked about it a lot and she's conflicted on it. She doesn't want to hold me back and keeps telling me to do what I want to do, and it would upset her if she felt like she was holding me back. She also says she doesn't know how she'd feel if I did it. So not a definitive answer at all. I don't want to risk upsetting her, but being sober fucking kills me. Being sober sucks. Inside, I'm a pothead. I'm not going to do it behind her back, because I love her too much. And she's perfect for me in every way but this and I'm not going to let weed break us up. She insists that I do what I want though. I'm conflicted between not wanting to regret anything later in my life, and not wanting to risk potentially hurting her. I mean, you only have one life to live and you should spend it living it up and being happy... What do you think?
TL;DR: | I'm in a great anti-weed relationship. I want to smoke. She doesn't know if I should or not and I'm stuck. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] was out with my boyfriend [23 M] shopping for clothes when..
POST: I am extremely curious how you guys feel about this. And please tell me if I have a right to be mad/upset with my boyfriend.
Long story short, I was out with my BF buying clothes today when we ran into my boyfriends childhood crush whom he hasn't talked to in 2 years. They hugged and were extremely happy to see one another. I was maybe 2 steps behind him watching this all take place waiting for him to introduce me to his friend. I waited.. I waited and after what seemed like a minute I started browsing the clothing rack that was right next to me again sorta peeved, but I wasn't mad about it. A few seconds later he looks back sees me and goes oh and that's (Insert My First Name) without saying that we are dating or anything like I was just his friend or something. I know it seems petty, but would this piss anyone else off?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend runs into childhood crush, doesn't introduce me for awhile and when he finally does he says "Oh and this is (insert my first name). That's it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [16F] is seriously ill and I'd [17M] like to make things easier for her, but I don't know how.
POST: First of all, I'm sorry if this isn't quite appropriate for this subreddit, but I wasn't sure where else to put it.
My friend has an illness called aplastic anemia (or, at least, I think it's called that) - to my understanding, it means that her bone marrow is stone-cold not working, and she needs some kind of intervention to help. It's very serious and there's a small chance that she might not make it. A small chance is not no chance, so it's horrible.
I'd like to make things easier or her, but it's difficult because I've never been in a life-threatening situation like that before. She's been put on medication that will suppress her immune system, but because of that she's unable to leave the house or hospital for an extended length of time, or really be around people at all. I spent two weeks housebound and it was hell - it could be up to nine months (longer, if she gets a transplant, and there's chaemotherapy on top of that too), so I have no idea how she'd cope.
I'd like to make it easier for her, but aside from making a gift box / care package type thing, I honestly have no idea what I can do. I mean, of course, there's the whole "be there for her thing" - but that's to be expected, isn't it?
I'd like something practical and helpful, and any advice or suggestions would be seriously great.
TL;DR: | Friend is seriously, seriously ill and unable to really leave the house. I want to help her, but I don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Leaving my [26/m] flirty friend [25/f] notes — cute, or creepy?
POST: I'm in... I suppose I'd call it a "flirtationship" with someone who, until about two weeks ago, I thought of only as a platonic best friend. We're people with very different lifestyles who have been surprisingly compatible as friends, and about a week or two ago she suddenly started getting very flirty, especially by text. This led to me rather suddenly developing feelings, and earlier today I asked her out (gently, and as a friend) only to be met with "I'm not over my last relationship right now; I find you very attractive, but it wouldn't be fair to string you along, so let's just be friends for now and if we're both single at some point down the road maybe we can try again."
Which I am surprisingly okay with—it turns out that as my best friend, I'm only attracted to her when I think she's attracted to me, etc.
But I'm going to leave soon for 1-2 weeks of conferences and travel, and there are a lot of guys in her life, several of whom might well try to make a move (her other male friends tend to be more obvious in their intentions and less interested in friendship than I am). While this isn't something I'm worried about (except not all of the guys involved seem good enough for her, based on the relationship history I've seen as a friend), I do wonder if it might lead to her forgetting about the interest she currently has in me.
So, I was thinking of potentially writing small, complimentary notes, one for every day I'll be gone, and delivering them to her in a bundle, with instructions. As it is, I text her exactly one compliment at a random hour every day (something she rhetorically wished for a week ago, I picked up on, and she's very fond of), but this seems like a good way to step up my game. Nothing romantic—just small, friendly compliments and positive advice.
TL;DR: | Are leaving positive (but not too flirty) notes for a flirty friend a sweet gesture, or something I should be avoiding? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, can you help me find him???
POST: Dearest Redditors,
I am not much of a contributor, but I feel that I need to take a chance with this one.
So, this evening I attended the wedding of a relative. At the reception my family and I were seated with the DJs and saxophone player. We had a lovely dinner and good times were had. One of the DJs and I really hit it off. I know he was keen on me, and I am more than a little interested in pursuing it further. The only problem is that, being the social retard that I am, I didn't even get his name. Yep. Big time fuck up on my part.
Here's where I need your help, Reddit. If any of you happen to know a DJ from Detroit/Royal Oak Michigan who had a wedding gig earlier this evening, PLEASE help me out!
I know this is a shout in the dark, but I'm not giving up yet!!!
TL;DR: | I'm looking for the DJ who played at a wedding in Lapeer Michigan earlier this evening who is from Royal Oak. I think he is awesome and am very interested in seeing him again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I take in my sister's OBESE beagle [x-post r/dogs]
POST: I have recently (Feb. 11) adopted a Doberman mix and things have been going well. So well in fact I am thinking of taking my sister's dog for a while. I want to take him out of her home because she has two very young children and the dog is neglicted. She trys, but she is willing to live in circumstances that I find... less than savory. For example: she will leave a trash bag out of any type of liner (due to the liner being full) and the dog will come along, rip the bottom out of the bag and go to town. Because of things like this he is VERY overweight. The last time I saw him I could not believe how big he had gotten. I have the time and patience to get this dog down to a healthy weight and perhaps train some of his worst behaviors out of him (i.e. barking constantly, nawing on things when people are gone). My question(s) is: Should I? I have brought up the idea with my sister, and she seems okay with it (she's about ready to just give up on him which is so sad since it's her fault to begin with) and I'm wondering how likley it is that her dog may show my dog some bad habits, which worries me because my dog is so well behaved (but young). If anyone who has gone through something like this before could shed some light on what I could exspect I would be greatful.
TL;DR: | My sister's dog is going to die because of his weight, should I take him in at the risk of my good dog learning his bad behaviors? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[21m] her[21f] have been going out for almost 2 years and it is all spiraling out of control
POST: Okay so basically I have been dating this girl for 2 years offcially as of this july, but its pretty close so im just going to say tow years. So me and my girlfriend starded as FWB to which I didn't like I wanted more or to go spend time with someone who did want a relationship, she told me she wanted one, but she didn't actually want one. She was still in love with her EX and had an STI that she didn't tell me about, we broke up, she said she could change, then never stopped lying (about communicating with her ex) for about a year, this was our rough time, we would always break up, I would blackout drunk and start arguments with her or just make her cry, she would only have sex with me while drunk, but somehow we always end up back together because we work.
Since that year has passed she actually stopped talking to him, she has fallen head over heels for me, but now I still cant stop remembering the bad shit. I get mad at her for everything, I go through her phone, I tell her exactly what upsets me when it upsets me and generally that upsets her, (EX: today I got mad at her because I always "talk dirty to her" when she wants, but when I want it (much more frequently) she ALWAYS has an excuse) and I feel bad about this but at the same time I couldn't give a shit less because of all the shit she put me through. I feel like I am constantly getting mad at her, but I don't care about it, how do I change this mentality ? or should I just abadon all hope and hopefully she will break up with me ( I am probably not strong enough to do it honestly)
TL;DR: | me and my girlfriend fight a lot, and generally that is my fault, but its because she hurt me. how do I change? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my neighbour [28F] , wanted to help a drunken girl but has gotten out of control
POST: I am freaking the fuck out . I live in a student hostel in Germany . I heard a huge crash a few hours back . Went to check out what it was - a neighbour girl is totally drunk and out of her mind . I helped her to her bed, called her bf , removed all the broken glass out of the way . Her bf walks in 10 mins later, I update him and got out of the room. The ruckus continued and I could hear it from my room and I am positive they were throwing some punches.
After about an hour I hear a knock on the door and the girl is standing naked on my door step. I am perplexed and her boyfriend couldn't care less. I hand her over my night pants and she said she wanted to sleep in my room for the night. He opens his arms up and says it is not his problem if she wants to stay with me. He goes into the room, throws out all of her clothes and locks up the room.
Now I am left with this Mongolian girl in my bed (who keeps asking me if I have a gf) and I am taking the couch. I am not sure what is going to happen in the morning. I don't want to get beaten up by Mongolian thugs just because I wanted to help a girl. I am genuinely scared.
TL;DR: | Neighbours fight - the girl leaves her bf and is now sleeping in my room. I am scared of Mongolian thugs |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by talking to a girl
POST: This happened to me last month.
There is this girl that I like at school and man I must say she is hot. Well this girl I like lets call her "Jenny" (since we remember what had happened to her). Any way on to the story.
I had never talked to this girl ever outside of class besides working in group projects. The projects would require us to talk to each other and I would chicken out when it came to talking to Jenny. Also to mention this, my friends dared me to ask her out for prom since I wouldn't do it as I have failed in talking to any girl in general. Well to get on with this story, I decided in order for me to ask her out for prom, I must get to know her a little better and then surprise her with my prom plan to be my date to Senior Prom.
Well the day arrived when I would ask Jenny for her number. The wind was blowing in my face and the other dramatic effects that would exist. I was like heck nervous, my palm sweating and as i'm about to approach her, something strikes my mind, that I can't do it. So I said, tomorrow the deed will be done. Comes the next day, I still can't talk to Jenny and then decide to message a mutual friend.
This mutual friend was with Jenny when I messaged him. I was like "fuck me and my life". He ended up messaging me saying, that he can't give me her number and I should fuck off. Well later that same day, after I messaged our mutual friend, I tried to talk to Jenny and wouldn't respond to me and blocked me on facebook and even snapchat. That just messed my chances up to ask the girl out for prom. That next day, I tried talking to her and apologizing for what happen and you what she did to me, slapped me right on the face. Good thing know one I knew was around when this happened or who knows what can happen.
Till this day, when I ever see this girl, i want her to be mine, but sadly hates me. She didn't get asked out to prom and never did talk to her since, something bad can happen so not taking my chances.
TL;DR: | Have the courage to talk to anyone especially if its a girl and don't ask others phone numbers, instead ask them yourself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28/F] keep lying to my boyfriend [31/M] and I don't know if I should come clean
POST: I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. He is great, and I would love to marry him one day. However, I do have some self-esteem problems which I think is the reason why I keep telling him these stupid lies. For example, I told him I made it to the state championship for the 800 meters in high school track. In reality, I went to one practice my freshman year then quit the next day. I told him I was class president in high school, but I never even ran for student council. I told him I have a business degree and a humanities degree. I have a BA in one field. He keeps bringing up all these "accomplishments" and how he has a super-awesome girlfriend, but none of them are true, or only partially true. Part of me just wants to commit to stop lying, hope I don't get caught in the lies, and move on with my life. I feel like coming clean would destroy what we have. I'm not sure what to do. Can anyone offer advice? It would be much appreciated!
TL;DR: | I've lied to my boyfriend about my past accomplishments, and am not sure if I should come clean or just commit to stop lying and move on with the relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Confusion. Is she history?
POST: Okay me[25m] and my ex girlfriend[20f] broke up about 2 months ago after about 2 years of dating.she blocked me off everything and won't communicate with me at all. This same exact thing happened last time we broke up and she ended up messaging me and we got back together
Here's where it gets tricky. She has a son who wasn't biologically mine.
We started am dating when he was a month old. I was never around d kids before so it was a new experience for me. I raised and supported him like he was mine she didn't have a job so it was all on me. His dad didn't want anything to do with him(up until our last breakup) and the kid called me dada.
I miss him.
Me and her fought bad(she has a attitude she's busted my nose, blacked my eye, messed up my car) but I love her. And part of me wants her to message me.
She has another boyfriend now so I only message her asking about the kid, she never replies. This last time we got back together we connected so much(to me atleast) we got out own place together and we were a little family.
Do you guys think she's actually over me?
She's just not talking to me to avoid feelings?
Should I just give up on the kid or do you think she may come back like last time?
Sorry I'm trying to keep it short I could wrote novels explaining it all but I don't want to bore you guys.
Ask anything if you would like more info though.
TL;DR: | Me and my ex always breakup and get back together, I miss her son terribly and want them back but she has a new boyfriend even though this same situation happened last time (except it was the kids dad not a new boyfriend) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How can I[19M] stop worrying that my SO[19 F] will turn into a different person than I fell in love with?
POST: Hi all.
I suffer from mild anxiety which makes me worry about a bunch of things. Lately one of the things I'e worried about is my girlfriend becoming a person I wouldnt have been interested in the first place. We are each other's first relationships and have been together for 9 months. I also worry(but to a lesser extent) that my gf is hiding certain qualities that about her that would not be appealing to what I want in a relationship.
Some ways this worry manifests itself is that I worry my gf will become this person who just parties all the time and has no other interests. For example, in March(3 weeks before we got together) she went to a rave for the first time. At the time I thought nothing of it(about 3 months ago my anxiety/worry about everything increased drastically). But now I am worried she will start taking drugs-which I personally do not partake in- because that's what a lot of people at raves too.
In a similar vein, I worry about her starting to smoke weed. If I remember correctly, she once said she doesn't think she would ever do it(she does not even drink). But one of her close friends smokes. One day when us 3 were hanging out my girlfriend's friend said that weed makes her sleepy.My gf made the comment, in a bit of a joking manner, "Hey d372 would you still love me if I started smoking weed so I can sleep?" Something along those lines. I said yes but inside I honestly don't know how I would handle that.
TL;DR: | Worry that my gf will change her values that do not match up with my own and become a different person I would have not connected with in the first place. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] Pushed away my Girlfriend [22 F] of a year and a half, at first i was emotionless but it's all come crashing down
POST: Hey guys, I basically had anxiety issues over the past few months and it put me into a spiral where i became a bit closed off and introverted.
Being like this eventually made me a bad boyfriend, i was less talkative, i woudln't really be interested in doing things that often. She then sprang on me that she wanted to move away and it freaked me out and made me push her away.
When she suggested breaking up i basically went "yeah this is for the best" due to all the tension and arguing so I was ok with it for a week or 2 then we drifted into an awkward friendship that didn't feel comfortable and it was all weird but i was still unphased
But then i would describe something like the wall i built around my emotions collapsed and i realized how much of an ass i had been, this girl was the love of my life, the first girlfriend i wanted to spend my life with and i screwed up.
So last night i basically out all my cards on the table and said something along the lines of "look i know i screwed up now, i've seen the light and i am still in love with you and want to be with you so i can be a better man for both of us" She of course said no, in her head apparently a week after the breakup a switch just went off and she was no longer in love with me which is fair enough, but it hurt her telling me i did have a chance to fix things if i'd just not been so emotionless about it and tried to fight for her when she first suggested breaking up, i feel like i squandered my chance.
I've now told her that i can't physically associate with her in anyway now it's too painful, to which she seemed very nonchalant about, that hurt but i guess it's her way of dealing with it, i am really feeling heartbroken, like i've betrayed myself and like i've lost the best thing that's happened to me,
What should i do guys how do i deal with this?
TL;DR: | I pushed away the one, told her i still loved her and she now doesn't care at all, what should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [gay 22f] constantly makes me [straight 23f] feel uncomfortable by holding my hand, touching my leg etc.
POST: She basically acts like I'm her girl friend (when she came out to me she assured me that those affections aren't sexual at all) but even before I knew she was gay I was uncomfortable by them.
I've tried to push her away and tell her to stop but now I just feel guilty because I'm scared she'll think that's me being homophobic. Whenever I do that she thinks I'm joking.
Honestly, I don't want anyone touching me like that unless I'm dating them.
I've also recently gone to her place of work and people there were under the impression I was her girl friend.
I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for, our friendship has been faltering for a while since she called me sexist earlier this year (for not supporting Clinton) and since then I've felt very resentful.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | My friend makes me uncomfortable with her affection, I don't know how to get her to stop since I've brushed her off and told her to not touch me. I don't like being touched by anyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: What should I do with my life?
POST: Hello! I'm turning 20 and am wrapping up my third semester of college this December, but I dont have any clue what I want to do when I finish.
Im a business major (managment and information systems), but thats really what my family pressured me into. I dont *mind* business or IT, but I certainly don't care for it. I wouldnt be happy doing that for the rest of my life.
My issue is, theres nothing I **would** be happy doing. The only things I really care about are video games and Magic: The Gathering, which dont exactly have a booming job market.
To make matters worse, I have several significant health issues (type 1 diabetes, depression, chronic migraines, to name a few) and *need* a job that can provide good benefits. If you arent aware, insulin is fucking expensive. Ill get kicked off my prents insurance plan when i turn 26, so I effectively only have 6 years to graduate and get a sweet job.
What should I do? How do I figure out what makes me happy, and can also provide me a kick ass job?
TL;DR: | Im 20 and dont know what to do with the rest of my days, and have a very limited time to figure it out |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Interested in a long time friend - Looking for advice on how to initiate things.
POST: I have feelings for a friend of mine whom I have known since we were kids. We have been spending a lot of time together as the only single people in our group of friends and feelings have developed from my side and I suspect she might be interested too.
I want to initiate things but I keep over thinking it. My basic question is whether I should bring this up when we are out doing something sometime or should I call her and ask her on a true date so she isnt put on the spot?
I worry that if I bring it up in person when she is not expecting it, it may not be received as well and could prove awkward if she isnt interested. If I were to call her, she could let me down without the awkwardness. If she were to accept, we would have a date where we both know what we need to discuss and have time to think about it.
I am probably overthinking this but I cannot help it. Suggestions?
TL;DR: | should I call and ask her on a date or bring up the possibility of us taking things further in person while out sometime? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: I was asked how i was such a fast runner (for my size), Wasnt sure how to respond. any help R/ running?
POST: Ok, so im Army so running is kinda a must for me; But because i ran an average of 4 miles a night to lose weight to join the army i actually enjoy it. I dont have a "runners body" though so most people assume i cant run. I'm about 5'7, 200lbs. Last week we had a PT test and i outran the group of people i was running with coming in at just over 14 minutes for 2 miles, it was my fastest run to date by about 30 seconds. later on that week an officer in my unit came up to me; he has a similar build about 5'7 or 5'8 and maybe 190, but i think he has alot more muscle than i do; He then asked me how i ran so fast on the PT test, and i wasnt able to respond. I really didnt know what to say. I mean, all i do is try to keep good form and my cadence up, and giving him that answer just wouldnt have felt right. So, what do you guys say when some asks you about how you run so fast/long/well? Is it wise to go in detail about form and finding your pace or is it better just to give them a simpler answer or what?
TL;DR: | i ran fast, got asked how i did that, didnt know what to say. What do you say when someone asks you that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are you being dishonest with yourself about? I'll start.
POST: For the past ~4 years I've been a converted "saved" charismatic Christian (you know, the people who believe in being 'drunk in the spirit', getting knocked down, laying on hands, etc.) , and entered a relationship where my girlfriend and her family are supersrs ~~Christians~~ believers in Christ. I've also grown up believing 100% in evolution, scientific law, etc. Anyway, I ~~definitely~~ tentatively believe in intelligent design, but cannot really justify why I give credence to Christianity. I especially don't have the balls to tell my girlfriend this, as it would turn my life upside-down. I guess I'm really just an Agnostic hoping that if there is an afterlife, that some supreme being would just say I was close enough.
TL;DR: | I'm an Agnostic guy lying to his family/social circle/self that I adamantly believe in Jesus, but really don't feel like anyone has the right or ability to say for sure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by buying Kit Kat from Japan
POST: So there is this website that I'm not exactly sure if I'm allowed to name, but I discovered this website after a bunch of YouTubers talked about it and did unboxing videos, and I thought it would be interesting to head over and see what they have to offer, because I live in the GCC and we don't get much, if any, Japanese products. I quickly found the 'food' section and proceeded to order one box of every flavor of Kit Kat they had, so four boxes in total. It was pretty pricey, $88, but I was prepared to pay the price because I've wanted to try the green tea Kit Kat ever since I stumbled upon their existence two years ago. I paid, got the confirmation email, and all was well. Until today when I received another email telling me to pay for the shipping, which was an extra $98. Apparently I hadn't understood how the website works and being the idiot I was blindly placed an impulsive order without knowing that they order from third party vendors, and then ship the products to you. Being a college student, I refuse to pay an extra $98 to have a bunch of Kit Kat from Japan shipped to me, and I've emailed them explaining my situation, but according to their FAQ they are unlikely to cancel an order if they have already ordered your products from the third party vendor, which they have. I think I just lost $88 trying to order Kit Kat.
TL;DR: | I ordered Kit Kat from a website that buys from Japan, didn't read the rules, was asked to pay extra for shipping, lost a bunch of money because they don't do refunds once they order from the third party vendor. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: American Redditors - Are Science and Christianity mutually exclusive? And does not being Christian mean you preach Atheism?
POST: Let me explain, and I'm not getting on my high-horse...
In Australia, I always went to Christian schools, where they also taught science and evolution. Australians don't promote "Yeah, Science!" in the same way, because 'Creationism' is almost non-existent here.
Christian teachings never sat well with me, and for years I considered myself Atheist, until I learned that there's a difference between spirituality and religion. I've since studied all kinds of spiritual teachings, but don't label myself as anything, because I don't care to.
Some of the r/atheism posts are just as irritating as any religious rant because it's preaching Atheism in the same way.
So, can't science just exist without being anti-Christian, and can't you be non-religious without pushing atheism, and just make more cat posts?
TL;DR: | Christianity doesn't need to compete with Science. Non-religious people can still be spiritual, without the label. Less atheism, more cats. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/M] can't get over my ex-gf [19/F] having sex with another guy (Together for 1.5 years)
POST: We broke up a month ago, and it wasn't hard. We both knew that it was going to happen. We still hung out, we did things together, hooked-up, made out, did things a normal couple would do.
I went home to see family and friends and that's where things started going down hill for me.She was telling me she made out with friends, but that's okay. People make out, and we're not together so its okay.
We got over it, we talked, things started to feel normal, it felt like things were getting better.
I went out a week after, I get texts from her saying not to do anything with anyone else. She missed me. She called. I didn't answer. I followed through with what she wanted and didn't do anything.
The day after, I get a text early in the morning. I knew. She had a one night stand. She went back on her fucking word. She fucks another guy, and I'm the one looking like a fucking idiot. I still can't get over it. I've been having bad anxiety, I can't eat, sleep, my relationships with other people are going down the drain. I don't know what to do. I think about it all the time. I know I shouldn't but I just do, and it's hard not to.
Don't get me wrong I love her to death and she is an amazing girl but that hurt my feelings so much. It's now making things so much worse, and I can't shake the feelings away. I feel like a toy, that she can use me whenever she wants expecting me to get the same answer over and over again.
What should I do? She talked about one day getting back and I do want that and I feel like she does too. I know that there should be some definite space, but what can I do to get my mind off things?
I'm having a hard time typing this because as much as I want comfort, it's killing me and I can't rid of the negative emotions that I've been having.
TL;DR: | Ex-Gf tells me not to do anything with anyone while I'm out. She has one night stand next day. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/m] having communication problems with my 1 year gf [21/f]
POST: She's terrible with communicating. To the point where she even missed her brother being sent to the ER (my phone was broken for the one day it happened so I didn't hear about it either to tell her). Its not really a problem when I see her every day but as soon as I have to leave town for some reason I freak out because she starts acting upset and weird and then stops communicating. I have some trust issues because she kissed her x of 3 months at the beginning of our relationship but there's been no problems with that since and she did try to accommodate me and trusting her when it happened and I'm sure she's been honest since.
she always promises to do better with communicating but the promises are starting to feel empty and I'm not sure if I'm being the crazy overbearing one or my feelings are being disrespected and I should just walk away from her and find someone else eventually or make it work. Also maybe advice on how to go about working on my obvious and maybe unfair lack of trust because if it is me I'd really like to make it better? Thanks guys.
TL;DR: | gf wont keep up with her cell phone, I worry a lot, she never seems to care or change but in the end it might be me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [25/M] Female friend taking over my life, we're not in relationship.
POST: One year ago, I met a girl, and I'm so confused on where we stand, I seriously don't know what to do. We spend almost every day exercising, watching movies or just hanging out. We have very similar interests in general and we either text or talk on the phone every day. Although I have not made any advances to be more then friends, I have always kept it flirty. I make fun of her and keep her laughing all the time, and she is very physical with me in general.
I have treated her like a princess, and been there whenever she needed something. She in return has changed my whole life around (for the better), and is constantly helping me improve myself in every way possible. I was never fat, but slightly out of shape and depressed for a while. She put me on a diet, and exercised with me 2-4 hours each day for approximately 8 months now. She has transformed me from a couch-potato to a guy with rock hard abs. She is very proud this, and is constantly showing me off to her friends and other people. I'm not in control of what I wear to parties, what I eat, how I walk, nor how I cut my hair anymore. I have never felt or looked better.
In a way I keep hoping she is transforming me into a guy she could eventually date. Am I retarded for thinking this way? Or should I be happy for all her help, and try to meet other girls? My fear is that if I do meet another girl she would be hurt. I mean there must be a reason she is putting in all this effort.
TL;DR: | I have been transformed and whipped hard by a girl I'm not in a relationship with. Could she be doing this with a purpose? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [49 M] with my girlfriend [42 F] 1y, am convinced she texted me a message meant for someone else
POST: Got message from her at about 11:00 tonight telling me she just got out of the shower. I mentioned that I had tried to call her a couple of times. I then tell her I have to be up in 6 hours so I am going to bed.
I wait for a minute or two for her to tell me goodnight, and she responds with the two word name of a popular brewery/eatery in the area.
I repeated the name of the brewery with a question mark. She then responds with "Goodnight". I question her with three texts which she doesn't respond to for a couple of minutes, then she just says "what?" so I call her.
I tell her I think she meant the text for someone else, which she denied, so I suggested 3 different scenarios:
A: She fat-fingered a text to me which auto-corrected to the name of the brewery
B: She had her phone in her pocket and it randomly sent me a garbled text which auto-corrected to the name of the brewery
C: She was texting someone else at the same time and sent me this message by mistake
Unbelievably, she is going with Scenario B.
Thoughts? Are there any other possibilities that I am not considering?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend sends me two word name of brewery instead of goodnight text. She blames it on an auto-corrected pocket text. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [18F] cope with my boyfriend [18M] moving away?
POST: As the title says, my boyfriend of nearly 2 1/2 years, Ethan, has just moved across the country yesterday to go to university. I have decided not to go to university so I'm staying back at home.
Usually, I see him for at least a couple of nights a week and we text/FaceTime quite a bit too so we are in contact a lot of the time. I know that we aren't going to talk as much and to go see him is quite expensive so we can't visit each other as often either and I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with that.
He knew I was upset when he left but I'm trying really hard to try and seem happy because I don't want to ruin his time there with my problems but it's becoming increasingly difficult.
I know it will probably become easier as time goes on and we both adjust to the changes but for now I just need help with how to cope.
Breaking up has crossed my mind but I honestly don't know. We have a really good relationship and I don't want to let that go but I'm wondering if it would be easier for the both of us.
Is there any way to make this easier for me?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend of over 2 years has just moved away to go to university, how do I find it easier to cope with the change? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I(23/f) deal with my own insecurities after an abusive relationship, while I start a new one with (24/m).
POST: I dated a pretty mentally abusive person for about two years which ended fairly recently. After the relationship ended I started seeing someone I've been friends with prior, and he is amazing. He's supportive, sweet, communicative, understanding even of the baggage I have from my ex.
But I am nervous about EVERYTHING. More details, it's a LDR and he also has cancer (i know.) So we are in different time zones, which very often means we're not awake for a lot of catching up, I'm pretty needy and anxious and I'm used to a lot of reassurance, physical and verbal.
Everything is making me nervous, every other second of every day I basically feel like he doesn't like me anymore. I was always nervous and codependent, but I'm pretty scarred from my past relationship and I'm scared I'm going to ruin this one with my insecurities and worries. I don't know how to heal while I'm dating this new person, I communicate with him my worries at times, but I know if I unload it every time I feel it, it will be all we talk about and who would want to date someone who is anxious and miserable and insecure all of the time. I need help coping on my own, and feeling more secure.
TL;DR: | My ex screwed me up and now I'm too insecure to trust that the new guy I'm dating is amazing. I don't know how to heal while I'm dating him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: should I stay?
POST: My bestfriend(21) and I(18) started a completely sexual relationship about 4 months ago, at the start i was okay with everything that was happening, i told him if he slept with someone else not to come back to me and he said if it happens it happens. So far i don't think it's happend.
But lately i feel like i really genuinely have feelings for him and i have no idea if he feels the same.
Few weeks ago we were pretty high and he just said "hey i like you" and I replied with "dont be an idiot" (I pretty much panicked and didnt know what to say) asked him the next day and he acted like he didn't remember the whole thing. He stays here everynight even though he doesn't have to..
I'm considering leaving him cause I don't know what he wants, I know I should talk to him but I dont want to hear him say that he doesn't like me
TL;DR: | I don't think I can handle being hurt like this again and I really just want to know how he feels so I can sort myself out |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Violin Practice vs the 9 year old female
POST: In the wild of home and school the 9 year old female is intrusive, emotional, and wildly misunderstood by her parent figures who don't ever "get it". There are tears over peers and parents body language and the world appears hard to the 9 year old.
The 9 year old also attends violin instruction once a week with a private instructor. The instructor goes through the 30 minutes of instruction and teaches new techniques at every meeting. The 9 year old is informed of how much and of what they should practice.
The 9 year old as previously mentioned views the world as an unfair and unkind place to her people of 3rd grade. So the 9 year old appears to get one, that is right one, solid practice a week in.
Ok now that I have written that out in a non-frustrated tone, here is my dilemma-- She keeps progressing at an astonishing rate, I am very open with the teacher and so is she about her practice habits or lack there of. The teacher set a goal last week and she actually followed through and picked up violin 6/7 days which was huge and her normal growth was multiplied.
The teacher has said things repeatedly along the lines of "I can guide you to the moon but I can't take you there, you have to meet me halfway."
It is apparent in her lack of effort yet multitude of growth that she has a knack for it, like an actual gift, but how do I harness her love of it (She's only been playing for 2 months and in those 2 months she is nearly through the first book that the teacher plays out of) and it was her choice to play. She adores lessons and showing the teacher what she can do when she is there but at home there is no gumption to practice.
Her own personal goal is to be able to get into the children's orchestra here in town which is a definite possibility in a year or so but if she isn't practicing how will she adequately advance?!
Her teacher suggested printing out a 100 day practice log and we found a heart shaped puzzle log. So we are going to try that out but any other advice?
TL;DR: | My 9 year old is doing violin and continuing to grow but lacks the follow-thru of practice/self-discipline what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not taking anti-anxiety medication
POST: This happened ten minutes ago.
I am going to attempt to make this as short as possible.
Was walking my dog, no other people were at the park so I let my dog off leash. This man comes with his frenchie (my dog is a cattle dog aussie mix) and cattle dogs are very hyper. My dog runs up to his excited and I call him back where he heels. The man picks up his dog like it was the end of the world.
He made remarks about my dog being a "thing" and that I wasn't allowed to bring "things" like that to the park. My dog is like my baby and he is well trained. He can go by purly vocal or purly by hand cues (if I snap and point down he will sit without vocal command and if I keep my hands behind my back and say sit he would also sit) and he was just excited.
I got mad. I am supposed to be on anti-anxiety meds to counter act the Keppra I am on for my epilepsy that makes me very, very angry. I decided to toss the idea of a prescription to deal with it "naturally".
I asked the guy if he was going to stop bitching he continued. I called him an asshole and said look, my dog sniffed yours big fucking deal. He didn't hurt him he just wanted to play. I called him back thirty seconds after you flipped your fucking shit.
He continued. I continued.
I told him to fuck himself and that he was an asshole. He yelled "Nice language lady!" so I yelled on my way out "Yeah fuck you too."
I was already shaky and instead of just saying whatever my anger and anxiety blew it out of proportion. Very much.
Well at the end of the day what counts for something is that at least, unlike the other guy, I wasn't as fucking ugly as that frenchie.
Not that I have anything against frenchies.
TL;DR: | Already anxious, bitched out a sixty year old man, feel a little remorse, am going to get my prescription for an anti anxiety next week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: What races, if any, do you enter during the training period for a 100 mile ultra, and how far out?
POST: I'm posting this here because the most popular ultrarunning sub gets maybe a post a day, and I know we have plenty of ultrarunners in here.
I'm running my first 100 miler March 28-29 (hopefully only the 28th...), and for some reason it only occurred to me today I may or may not need to fill the coming months with a race or two to be used as training. So I am wondering what distances you would recommend racing (or simply completing) en route to the 100. **I've read that a 50mi can be a good idea two or so months out, but I would really like to know if 100 mile finishers have found 50 mile runs necessary in completing their race.** As an FYI, I've finished three 50 milers, the toughest and most recent was last November, 9k'+ ascent, 7k'+ descent. This 100 miler will be looped and flat. I'm about three months into training after taking most of the time between November and June off.
I know it doesn't necessarily have to be a race. Why pay $ when I can just go over to the forest and run 40 miles, but I would like to know what those with more experience have done during their training periods.
TL;DR: | first 100 miler in 6+ months, what were your longest training runs, were they races, and at what point in your training did you do them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Looking for some help with shoes, and I figured this sub would know a few things about proper footwear. I need to do a lot of walking and standing, and would like something really comfortable.
POST: At work I walk about 4 miles a day on asphalt. And this month I am going on my honeymoon, we will be traveling to Disneyland and last time I went I averaged 13 miles a day in walking. My feet were killing me after the first couple of hours on the first day, and just continued to get worse. I ended up with black toe nail on my left big toe, I assume due to improperly fitting socks or shoes.
Here are my personal stats. I am male, 5'10", and weigh 135 pounds. My current shoes are Puma replicats, they pretty much have no sole, so I would guess that is part of my foot problems.
I am looking for a very comfortable shoe, that I can walk in for very long distances. I expect to walk about 40 miles over the 3 days on my honeymoon. And I walk 20-25 miles during my 5 day work week.
Any tips of suggestions would be greatly appreciated, I have never tried any insoles like Dr Scholl offers so maybe they would help. But bottom line I really want my honeymoon to be special and I am trying to avoid thinking about foot pain all day.
If this is not the right subreddit to ask about footware, please let me know where to post, and I will go elsewhere. And thank you to anyone that is reading this.
TL;DR: | Going on a trip, doing lots of walking/standing on cement (13 miles a day 14 hour days). Need comfortable shoes to avoid as much foot pain as possible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 F] am thinking about asking some guys out. However, at this point I am not the most attractive I can be, and have been unofficially demoted from a 8.5/10 to a 6/10. Should I wait until I am more attractive to show interest in guys?
POST: Since a very young age, I have been dealing with depression and horrible self-esteem problems, causing me to be fairly inactive romantically and sexually, having only dated and slept with one guy.
My sophomore year of college, I became very active and started going to the gym every single day. At the risk of sounding vain, I think I am fairly attractive when I am consistently taking care of my health.
However, a few months ago I went through a major depressive episode, causing me to stop exercising, develop poor hygiene, eat a garbage diet, and of course, gain lots of weight. The guy I slept with said (while angry with me) that I was an 8.5/10 on the attractiveness scale when I was exercising regularly, but am now a 6/10.
I have nearly made a full recovery from my depressive episode, but I have not been able to lose the weight yet. I am interested in developing a romantic relationship and decided to ask some guys from my school out to increase my confidence and ability to handle rejection, and maybe even find someone worth dating.
However, I know a lot of guys are strongly turned off by overweight girls. Should I even bother trying to date until I lose the weight?
TL;DR: | I want to ask guys out. I'm fat right now, but I look attractive when I work out regularly. Should I wait until I lose the weight before pursuing dates? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: A weird girl problem.
POST: So before you say, "Another girl problem, just man up and ask her out." This is a very weird story. So my school's debate team was at a tournament and after we all debated we had some time to sit around. I was talking to this girl who's in one other class with me and we just sat and talked for about 30 mins and during that time I was messing with her because a couple of guys asked her to add them on facebook. I also learned that she had a boyfriend (bummer), but then after just talking she hard core questioned me and somehow got me to admit that I thought she was cute and I had a crush on her. That's not the weird part, the weird part was we sat on the bus and talked for an hour like nothing ever happened. I am never good at receiving girl's messages so please give me some advice.
TL;DR: | I talked to a girl who got me to tell her I liked and her but she didn't act weird towards me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My mom [43?/f] wants me[19/m] to go back to visit relatives. I don't want to go.
POST: In a few months, my entire family, including my parents, are planning to go take a 18 hour plane trip to see my relatives. I have issues with each one of them, and my last trip was not a good one. With my mom, I don't like her comments on everything I do. I have to walk without making much noise, speak softly and slowly, use more Chinese, don't complain, agree with everything my relatives want, and each time she asks me to correct myself, I either do what she says, or do it while feeling annoyed that I'm never good enough. With my relatives [46-65/f *3], they too want me to have a set of ways to do things. One wants me to eat very very slowly. My father [36/M] doesn't demand much, but always complains about various things, even things I like. With my relatives and my parents, I do my best to do everything they tell me. However, I cannot count the amount of times I felt the need to destroy, throw something, or yell at someone because of the things they said. I tried counseling, but due to time constraints, that only lasted two months. I tried self-help guides and friends, but all I've managed to do is avoid conversation with my mom and react with a monotone voice. I haven't done much with Reddit due to just staring and occasionally commenting, which I still find to be a bit dangerous. I haven't even talked about my younger sisters who are going with me. I know most of you will talk me to going because they're my relatives, I may never see them again and all that. I just don't want my relatives to see me and remember me as the one rotten apple in the family. (First post on the subreddit. Let me know if I did something wrong.)
TL;DR: | My entire family is going to Asia to visit relatives, in eight months. I don't want to go because I have anger problems with both my family and relatives. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My dad is the ultimate nice guy. Story inside. Who in your life amazes you with how nice they are?
POST: My parents divorced about 2 years ago because my dad found out my mother was cheating on him. He overpays her in child support for my younger brother and constantly allows himself to be screwed over financially for the good of my brother.
Now onto the real story. My brother lives with my mom and her new husband (the one was the caught cheating with). My brother is in the process of getting his license and his insurance will need to be with the new husband. My brother thought it would be a good idea to get him a Christmas present to better his chances of getting on that car insurance. He is currently just a high school kid without much of an income. My dad actually bought a very nice sweater for my brother to give to his mother's New husband.
TL;DR: | My dad bought a Christmas gift for my mother's new husband who she divorced him for after cheating on him with, in the name of my brother. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Do I have enough time for a dog?
POST: Growing up my family always had 2 black labs. We were definitely dog people and being an only child I grew very close to my "adopted brothers". Some of my best memories involve my dogs.
I have now graduated college and moved away from home for a job. I was not able to bring my dogs with me, because in reality they have always been my parents dogs, and I would never want to take them from their home where they are happy and used to being.
After not having any dogs now for about 10 months has really made me realize how much I miss having dogs around.
Currently my apartment does not allow pets but I am planning on moving somewhere else and I am trying to decide if I need to find a pet-friendly apartment or not.
I am an electrical engineer with a pretty constant schedule of 9-5 days. In my 10 months at my job I have not had to travel anywhere yet that has caused me to deviate from this schedule, so I think at this moment it is safe to say that travel shouldn't be an issue.
So basically my question is do I have enough time to devote to a dog? I feel bad that I would be leaving it at home alone for about 8 hours everyday. If I do move I don't plan on living far from work so coming home on my lunches will also be an option and would make the 8 hours of alone time turn into something more like 3.5+3.5 hours of alone time.
Is this enough time to dedicate to a dog?
TL;DR: | I work a 9-5 job with the possibility of coming home on lunch. Does this leave me with enough time to dedicate to having a dog and being a GOOD owner? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M/F] with my crush [17 M/F] for about a month, and a rather complicated situation
POST: I need some help with girls
And honestly, I had no idea who to go to
So i am just going to explain my situation now
So there is this girl I like a LOT. Like I am totally head over heals for her. I met her on a school trip, and I totally thought we hit it off. I thought I was totally "in" in the beginning, but about halfway through the trip, she started hitting on this other guy hard, and on the last day she ended up doing some sexual things with him. (Ouch town my ego). When we got back, we started hanging out a lot (texting, snapchatting, watching movies, playing video games, a lot of things). Well basically, I told her how I felt and i'm 90% sure that I got rejected. (She claims she is emotionally confused right now).
Now this girl is definite best friend material, and I don't want to ... not be friends with her
because she honestly likes everything I like, but its so hard to see past the fact that I have hopelessly fell for her.
What would you recommend I do? I have no idea what the hell I should do. Do I just stay as a good friend? Or do I kinda just ease myself out of her life to save myself the pain/drama?
TL;DR: | Got reject (I think) by a girl I really like, and want to stay friends with, but have no idea how to handle the situation now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Its extremely difficult to talk about my feelings, even with my girlfriend.
POST: So Ive been in a relationship for almost 2.5 years and it is still very hard for me to talk about my feelings to anyone, including my girlfriend. The only person I can talk about my feelings with without even trying to force myself is my older cousin, she also has the same problem, only being able to talk about things with me. Anyways, I know I should be able to talk to my girlfriend about these things, and I would love nothing more than to be able to do so, but whenever we get in an argument and we try talking things out I cant manage to say anything. While this is going on I have everything Id like to say in my head, everything inside of me is screaming at me to say something, anything, but I cant, when I try to talk I cant really remember what to say because my thoughts are racing. On Saturday she told me that waiting for me to talk about my feelings is only getting harder for her, and I fear that if our relationship ends this would be why. I obviously dont want that to happen, I would hate for it to end because of this when I feel so hopeless, but it would still be my fault. Is there any way to make this easier?
TL;DR: | Its hard for me to talk about my feelings, I fear this will be the reason me and my girlfriend would break up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [19f] has gained weight and it's taking a toll.
POST: I [20M] have been dating this girl for a couple years now and when we started out she was probably 5'4" 120 pounds and looked amazing. She is just about to complete her freshman year of college and instead of putting on a freshman 15 she put on a freshman 35 and isn't showing signs of slowing down. Having access to dining hall has brought up some self control issues with her. She eats desert before and after dinner and she doesn't make any use of the gym 100 yards away. The weight is really starting to impact my physical attraction to her and it makes it harder for me to throw her around the bedroom now that we're about the same weight.
Another problem is that it's taking a huge toll on her confidence and self esteem. She gets jealous when I'm around girls that are in better shape, which she never used to do before. She also lashes out at me since I've been working out and eating healthy and calls me manorexic (I'm 5'8" 155-160 lbs)
The biggest problem is that she has a history with anorexia so there's no good way to approach the subject. She's been healed for 5 years now so I feel like anything I say could trigger a relapse and that's the last thing I want. Is there a gentle way to try to get her to lose weight and improve our relationship?
TL;DR: | my previously anorexic gf gained 35 pounds this year and I don't know how to approach her about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I[21/f] need help deciding if I should move in with my boyfriend (21/m), just for the summer.
POST: My boyfriend has an internship in a small town in Indiana this summer and he wants me to move into his apartment with him. The town he will be living is about 4.5 hours away from my home and 3 hours away from his home. While living together sounds fun, I am not sure I want to. He said I wouldnt need to pay any bills only help with the food a little. But I would still want a job, and its going to be hard to get a job for the summer, when I currently live 4.5 hours away. I am basically guaranteed a job in my hometown. We basically live together now but have classes, jobs, and friends and family around here, there we wont know anyone but each other and those we meet at work. I am worried living together may be too much time together. But I also feel bad thinking about him living alone all summer, and I usually get pretty bored during the summers. I need some outside advice/experience.
TL;DR: | BF wants me to move with him to a small town far away for the summer. I'm nervous thinking about what spending so much time with only each other might do to us |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by casually asking for nudes
POST: As usual, this didn't happen today it happened a few months ago.
During my junior year I was in English class writing my final essay. We were given an entire work period to finish it and hand it in by the end of class. While I was writing, this girl started passing notes to me since we weren't allowed to talk (we had a supply teacher and she was kind of a bitch). After a few exchanges I got the idea to make a harmless joke. So on the corner of the paper I wrote "Send nudes" and gave it back to her. She opened it and began to laugh. She was doodling on her desk at the time and it pissed the supply teacher off. The supply teacher called the principal and they confiscated the desk. They also found the note we were passing in the desk and called her down to the office. She didn't rat me out (bless her) so she got detention for vandalism and the inappropriate nude passing.
I saw her in the hallway (with her boyfriend) later that day and she was slightly mad at me. I feel awful for letting her take the blame when it was clearly my fault.
On the bright side her boyfriend gave me a high five for asking for nudes (he's a pretty awesome dude)
TL;DR: | asked a girl for nudes as a joke via note passing, the principal found the note and she took the blame. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by mistaking Kindle Unlimited for a real book buffet
POST: So apparently amazon is giving out free 30-day trials to kindle owners, where you can download books for free. I took it up immediately, why not? Being the greedy pig I was, I went on a massive romp downloading all manners of books I could find.
The catch:**you can only download books within their kindle unlimited selection**
It was only after reaching my creditcard limit,and after racking up tons of books, before I thought that something was wrong. I proceeded to check my orders and to my dismay.... you guess it.
Apparently you can't cancel your digital book downloads, because it is easy to copy the book onto your CPU and cancel the order. Guess I won't have to buy books for a few decades now.
TL;DR: | Thought amazon was so nice to give away so much books and stupidly brought everything I could see, reaching my card limit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Anyone else have trouble dealing with the realization that their ex might not have been a good person?
POST: So I've put a couple other posts up about my recent relationship ending end and how I know on some level that I deserve better but I was talking to a friend a couple nights ago and it made me even more bummed out because it kind of confirmed that some of doubts about my ex were actually justified.
One of my biggest gut feelings about him was that I couldn't trust him, if we were apart I was always afraid he would get too drunk and either hurt himself or flirt (or worse) with some random girl. He was probably one of the less thoughtful people I've ever met but I digress. I was talking to my friend (who I met because she was one of my ex's friend's girlfriends) and she was saying how her boyfriend would complain about how my ex would act when I wasn't around because he'd be inappropriate in his actions and comments towards her, she also felt uncomfortable about it but the fact that his friend was too really sucks.
It hit me really hard, I wanted to believe that my fears and worries about him weren't true, that I didn't actually spend a year and a half of my life dating some a**hole who didn't actually care about me or my feelings on a deeper level but hearing her say that made it all real. I guess on the one hand it's good to hear because it kind of shatters the mask I willingly gave him of being an actually decent person but it sucks because now I know my gut feelings were right. He wasn't trustworthy and I feel kind of like an idiot for choosing to be blind to the reality of it. I feel stupid and angry and I was wondering if anyone else has experience with dealing with a reality check like this. Any tips for not feeling like a total sucker?
TL;DR: | Found something out about my ex that confirmed my negative suspicions about him. I feel like an idiot and I'm mad. Any one else have to deal with something like this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me(19M) has unresolved issues with ex(19F) and not sure what to do about it
POST: For some backstory, me and my ex dated for close to 2 years and 9 months and overall we had a good relationship except for some things. First off, she did cheat on me and I know that's a major red flag but we put it behind us.
We broke up in September and we hadn't really talked much for 5 months. We tried to remain friends because we had played such a major role in each other's lives and she's honestly my best friend. At first, it was kinda awkward because I still had feelings for her, but as time went by it got a bit easier.
Things were going fine until we decided to meet up to talk one night because we were both fighting over really stupid things that we needed to talk about. And we ended up making out and having sex. At the time, she had a boyfriend and I had a thing with another girl so we both told them.
Now, me and the girl I'm with are okay after I talked about it and gave her some time, but now my ex and I are no longer friends. Honestly, it really sucks because I know part of our relationship was rocky but she's literally the only person I feel I can come to with anything or talk to when I need to.
I really like the new girl I'm with, but I don't know what to do because obviously she hates my ex and I feel like my ex and I have a lot of unresolved issues I need to work out. This whole situation sucks because some of my friends literally won't talk to me again if I got back with my ex, but I don't know if deep down that is what I want or if I'd be content with just a friendship.
I love her so much and I know she didn't treat me how I deserved to be treated(towards the end of the relationship), but lately I just find myself dreaming about her and missing her being around. I have no idea what I should do, and I'm open to any advice. Thanks guys/girls.
TL;DR: | I feel like me and my ex have conflicts we need to resolve but we aren't friends anymore and I don't have a way of approaching it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Ask /r/Cats: Is my cat abnormal for a few odd behaviors?
POST: I have a cute tuxedo rescue cat.
[This is her taking a selfie.](
[This is her taking a stroll.](
Basically, I noticed some odd behaviors that differ from what most cat blogs / reliable sites advise to expect:
* **She's totally unfazed by catnip.** I try pinching some, placing on a scratch post, even just holding it under her nose. She kind of just sniffs then leaves.
* **She's not jealous.** I can go scratch and pet my local bodega's cat all day. That cat is fascinated by my cat's smell, but when I return home moments later and Panda sniffs my hand, she just doesn't care.
* **She won't eat unless I watch her.** I often wakeup to familiar face smacks from pink paws. It's her. I get down from bed and put some food out for her then run to the restroom. She starts crying immediately while I'm in the can, when I return she confirms I still exist. Then and only then she resumes eating.
* **She ignores scratching posts.** See catnip thing, she doesn't care. She just completely doesn't care.
* **She sleeps like a guest** She'll literally snuggle up next to me and let me be the 'big spoon'. By let me, I mean force me. I throw her out of bed then I wake up and her head is on the pillow with her back to me and she's just totally snuggled up. It's cute but is it normal?
* **She understands light switches** This is weird, but she has learned how to turn on the light in my bedroom. I presume it's to wake me for a food delivery.
* **Mirrors don't matter** She ignores mirrors, doesn't look at them. I tried to do a self-identification test (she's 8 months) and she just stared at her reflection and mine, but gave no reaction.
TL;DR: | Basically I can't discern if some of the above are normal. Some make me think she's brilliant, others make me think she's dumb. Does anyone have cats with similar behavior or anything anecdotal that can validate these behaviors? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not telling a police man I saw the guy they were chasing hiding under a car...
POST: Had to call the police as my gf went missing, while they were here a man came running up the street and hid underneath a car, a police van followed a few seconds after. I didn't point as I was stood outside the house, but did make a point of staring at the car he was hiding under. The van kept driving and turned a corner... A few seconds after the police man in my house came out and saw the guy crawl from under the car, he asked if he was okay and the man said 'I'm fine, I was just getting chased by someone' then proceeded to run off... After it was revealed he was actually running from the police, the [very tired] police man was obviously a bit [blagged?] by it all, but kept a friendly face and asked me if I knew the guy.. I didn't at all and explained that I didn't wanna point because I was stood outside my house... They eventually left and there was abit of a conflicted vibe in the air as they were leaving.. They were cool about it, but I can't help but a feel a bit mean for not pointing the guy out, but I'm more of passive guy to things like this as a rule, I'm pretty sure the guy just ran when he saw the police, but I still feel like I might have f'd up a bit... The police man was clearly very tired, but he did seem gutted when he realised he let the guy just run away >_<, felt bad guy for the guy
TL;DR: | didn't help the police catch a guy they were chasing while they were at my house helping me find my gf... |
SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: Can anyone suggest a good book on "Dream Interpretation"?
POST: It's the only thing my mom has requested for Christmas. She's been having some odd reoccurring dreams lately and, after offering my own lose interpretations and suggestions that it "might" (definitely does) have something to do with her stress levels (she works harder than any human I've ever met and sacrifices more than anyone should or even want to) she insists she'd like a book on dream interpretation (if possible, one written from a "Christian" perspective, but it's not required).
I explained that my cursory understanding of popular dream analysis came from what little I know of Freud and my perceived understanding of his penchant for drawing everything back to doinkin' and that she may not like what she reads, but she's determined to get a book on it none the less, even if it's not exactly conducive to Christian beliefs.
Anyway, I am at a complete loss on what book would work best considering her preferences and considering who I think most of the dream books are written by (to me, every one of the more common ones might have well as been written by "Miss Cleo").
Anyway, anyone have any good suggestions? Anyone have a favorite dream book?
TL;DR: | My mom wants a dream interpretation book for Christmas, she's a Christian and would like the book to reflect this (but it's NOT necessary) and I don't know where to start. Help? :D |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my BF [20M] almost 2 years, is his behavior normal and is mine?
POST: Hi. My boyfriend is studying abroad in Japan. Before he left he was a really sweet and attentive boyfriend, always sending me messages like "I love you" and stuff like that. Always responding nicely to me. He said stuff like when he goes to Japan he will buy me presents and he can't wait to live in our new dorms right next to each other next year. His behaviors were never ever sketchy or seemed like he didn't like me.
Then he goes to Japan. It was a really rough transition for me because I went from talking to him every day to about 5-15 messages a day. Transitions are especially hard for me because I have Asperger's. I realized I was monopolizing his time a few days ago and I've cut back my communication because he told me he's too busy to talk and I just send messages like "Good morning" and "good night" and "i love you" instead of in depth convos.
He keeps responding less and less nicely and never sending me anything sweet anymore. He went to Japan with me in his profile pic on LINE (messaging app), and then he changed the pic to one of just him. Today he added over 8 new Japanese friends and removed me as "in a relationship" on his public profile on Facebook. While i was talking to him. I just texted him about it asking why he did this but he didn't respond yet, i'm sure he's going to get mad at me for bringing it up though.
Is this behavior sketchy? Am I "crazy" for being upset over it? I love him and i want him to have a good time but I just feel so lonely over here and I'm not sure why he is doing this. I also asked if we can video call every day and he said "tbh i never have time." I guess it would be overbearing to ask him to make time for me? IDK. Please help me.
TL;DR: | BF in Japan, acting weird maybe, maybe all study abroad people do this? IDK. Please help me |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Job offer rescinded after attempting to negotiate. What happened?
POST: I worked for a division in a large multinational in the oil & gas space from April 2014 until May 2015 when I was laid off due to market conditions. I started working for my current employer in June, but was unhappy and so I continued to look. I found that there was an opening at another division of the original conglomerate and i interviewed for it this week.
I received a verbal and written offer today for the position at 1pm for $62k and 2 weeks vacation. By 2:30pm I replied negotiating for $65K and 3 weeks vacation. At 4:30pm I received a call from the HR contact who extended the offer. We discussed the terms I asked for and she said she would get back to me next week. At 5pm I went ahead and submitted my two week notice at my current position.
At 5:45pm I received an email from the HR contact rescinding the offer. WTF happened?
TL;DR: | Laid off, Started working, interviewed and received offer from different division of original company, put in two weeks notice, offer rescinded after negotiating for 5% more. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Okay Reddit, it's time to see if I'm the only one out there who this happens to.
POST: So basically as long as I can remember this weird thing has happened to me. This is going to sound strange to a lot of you, but it will be really cool if there is at least one other person who this happens to. So sometimes whenever I witness someone doing something that is very repetitive and meticulous, and I watch them do it for a period of time, I get this weird tingling feeling in my head that slowly kind of radiates through my skull. For example, one time when I was a little kid, I was at church and I was watching this kid slowly set up chairs, and he was slowly going back and forth to check his work and to make sure that they were perfect over and over again, and that caused it to happen. Weird right? Like I can't explain it. It doesn't make sense, and I don't know why it happens. And I have nothing medically wrong with me at all. This is very very strange and it has happened all my life. Does this EVER happen to anyone? Or am I totally alone?
TL;DR: | Sometimes when I watch someone do something repetitive I get this weird tingling feeling in my head that I can't explain. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: No sexual interest in my girlfriend anymore. What should I do?
POST: I'm a guy, 21, and she's 20.
I've been dating this girl for eight months now. We've had insane sex in every single imaginable position, style or way during those eight months, up to ten times a day.
I really like this girl. We had an argument a little while ago, and almost broke up, which left me pretty far from indifferent. I don't want to end this relationship, *but...*
The sex has become painfully boring to me. I used to enjoy it quite a lot, I very much looked forward to it, but now, it's become a routine I don't particularly enjoy. I find myself rather playing video games than having sex, which is very, very weird to me, as I'm the type of guy that would travel 50 miles for fifteen minutes of hoo-hah anytime. This is my first long relationship, and I'm unsure whether something like this is even normal - she literally needs to be laying on top of me, naked, for me to even get aroused. I used to pop boners just by looking at her.
I don't want to break up with her, but sex plays an important role in my life - hell, I'm only 21.
I've been struggling with deep depression and anxiety lately, am on anti-depressants, and although this might be the cause of my lack of interest - but I honestly think that I've just overdid it with this girl, and killed the spark by turning my wildest perversions into something so everyday and common.
So, a question for you, r/relationships, what should I do to bring that old spice back? Any ideas, tips, suggestions? I don't want to pursue another relationship, nor do I want to risk this girl by cheating on her (although that would definitely solve the sex issue).
TL;DR: | My girlfriend doesn't attract me sexually anymore, but I really, really like being with her. What can I do to bring the old spice back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [25m] getting pretty serious with a girl [22f], but have reservations because we had drunken sex the first night we met.
POST: I had my eye on her most of the night. We were both really drunk. I approached her, we talked, danced a little bit, yadda yadda; ended up at her place and had sex.
We have been seeing each other for about a month and a half and things are getting pretty serious between us. I don't mean to judge, and I know a double standard is at play here, but I'm just wondering if the way we met should be a deal breaker. If anyone has any insight on this sort of thing I would appreciate it.
So, should the fact that I was able to take her home from a bar, on the first night we met, for sex, be a reason to avoid a relationship?
TL;DR: | Took a girl home from the bar and had sex on the first night. Should that be a reason to avoid a relationship with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Tonight was supposed to be my long and slow night...
POST: I was planning to do about 5-6 miles or ~1hr. Well, I started late due to being hung up at work. As I finished my first lap, I noticed a cat in the dark running away from the track. No worries, just a cat. The next lap, 1 mile in and I see the cat again, except this time, it stays closer to the track. Oh wait, it's not a cat, it's Fox.
Next lap, 1.5 mile the Fox stays closer to the track again. Except now there are two. Hmm.. Okay... Next lap, as I come to the point where the fox normally runs off, this time it stays. Both just stand there and stare at me.
At this point I decide to sprint back to my truck ~.25 mile and call it a day.
TL;DR: | played chicken with a cat on my run, cat was a fox, 1 fox is 2 fox, fox won lap 4.. I went home |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a 26 year old immigrant that's been in Canada for 21 years, applying for citizenship this week. Canadian redditors what do i need to know?
POST: in short we were poor when i was younger and couldn't afford to spend money at our consolate in Vancouver to replace certain paperwork. This week i found out that the citizenship doesn't require the paperwork i'm missing so i am applying.
On the one page it says i nees to know the branches of government, History of Canada, geography of the country and duties as a canadian citizen...
here's my issue, while i can research everything else the duties i can't seem to find. So i thought i'd ask you guys to give me a hand...if you get below a certain percentage on the test you're refused to become a citizen and have to start the process again. The current waiting time is 19 months i believe you have to wait a full year before trying again.
TL;DR: | i'm an immigrant have been for 21 years in canada. Need help with rights of a citizen to pass my test |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [19 F] from university keeps flirting with me [18 M] but has said she doesn't want to date
POST: I started university at the end of September, and met a girl who became my friend. For a while now, she has been showing signs of interest, flirting etc. but I never did anything (despite me liking her) because I felt that it would become too complicated with us both being friends and on the same course.
She started dating this other guy in the department, but broke it off after about a month (about the end of January). A few weeks ago, she told me and our other friend [18 M] that she wouldn't date in the department again, just because she didn't want another situation like what happened with the previous boyfriend. Despite this, she has continued being 'playful' with me, and I am not sure how to go forward with this.
I don't want to jeopardise our friendship, but at the same time I want to know what the deal is between us. How do I approach the subject with her when I am not really 100% that she is actually interested (rather than that just being her usual manner, I have previously mistaken over-friendliness with flirting :p).
TL;DR: | Friend from university has continued to flirt with me despite saying she doesn't want a relationship within the department. How do I go about asking her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: 18 pounds down, 300ish to go, finally making changes. Hi, all; I'm gonna do this!
POST: Couldn't find the weekly new member thread, even after search. Apologies, but I'd like to hold myself accountable and trade stories, tips and such. Also, not die.
TL;DR: | Half-ton guy leaving toxic lifestyle to focus on health and family. Eating better, working out, but still a long hard climb ahead of me. Hiya. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21/F] not attracted to my boyfriend [25/M]
POST: Hi, using a throwaway for this one.
So, I feel terrible for even writing this, but let's start from the beginning, will try to keep it short.
I met my now boyfriend about 6 months ago through our mutual friends while playing one of the many multiplayer games. After some time we hit it off and started to talk more and more. I only saw one of his pictures, which was pretty old, from years ago, and he looked pretty good in it. Anyway, after a few weeks of 24/7 chatting and skyping we decided to meet (although we live like 12h drive away..) and when we did.. well, he doesn't look much like the picture I saw back then. He's not exactly ugly, but I just don't feel attracted to him. There's no spark. There are no butterflies. I've had a few boyfriends already and I KNOW how it feels to be attracted to someone - this need to touch them all the time, to see them everyday.. And now, I REALLY love this guy and I can't imagine my life without him, we talk, we play, we laugh everyday, but I just don't feel an urge to see him. We haven't seen each other for about 2 months now (as I mentioned, we're long-distance) and for me it's completely okay. But I know it can't stay like this forever. I'm so confused. I feel an amazing connection with him, but at the same time I don't have any physical attraction towards him.
Have any of you been in such a situation before? What did you do? Please don't see me as a bad person for not telling him what I really feel. I'm just so lost. I don't wanna lose him and don't see him as a guy I wanna spend rest of my life with at the same time.
TL;DR: | I have a boyfriend, whom I love very much and we have an amazing connection, but I don't feel physically attracted to him and have no idea on what to do now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15M] dislike living at my Mum's [41F] house for a number of reasons, and I want to stay with my Dad full time [43M] but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do
POST: To start it off, I want to preface this by saying that my parents are divorced and I live at both houses 50/50.
My Father provides large amounts of child support that goes to my "poor" Mother's investment property and the house mortgage. My younger brother also has holes and rips in his school clothes, we struggle to get anything new from her, such as school shoes and we almost always get hand-me-downs from friends of our Mother.
My Mum also has a new laptop, is thinking of getting another investment property and constantly goes out with her girlfriends every weekend. Oh but if I want new school shoes that aren't falling apart, or there's school fees to pay **I** have to hassle my **Father** in telling him to help pay for these things.
My Mother also constantly talks shit about my Father in front of my brother and I and it is driving me insane. She always blames me for the things he does (which are totally reasonable, why would you bitch about my Father for asking you to provide sufficient food in the house? Why not buy a loaf of bread for god's sake) and uses me to get things from him.
I really really want to ask my Dad to stay with him full time and having been thinking about it for 9 months but I don't know if I should. Is it the right thing to do? Am I in the wrong? Am I just being an antsy teenager?
TL;DR: | I want to live with my Dad full time because I dislike what my Mum does and reasons such as that. Is it the right thing to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: My interview felt more like a new employee orientation... Did i get the job?
POST: Hello Reddit,
I went to an interview today at a research facility, for a tech position working on some high tech stuff. I have a close family friend who recommended that I apply there. He has no direct control over my getting hired, but regardless he put the good word in with the manager who would be my future boss and that guy's boss as well. My current employer spoke high of me as well, so I felt that I had a good chance.
I was still hesitant, because I come from a largely military background and do not have a degree (this position doesn't require one.). I get to the interview, and the lead manager, the boss of the boss of the position, told me instead of a formal interview he was going to show me around the machine. For the next 45 or so minutes, he walked me around the area showing me what the position entails. He kept saying things like "this can be a very high stress enviroment, but from what your resumeshowed I doubt you'll have a problem." He then went into the hours and pay and was asking if that all would work for me. The tour came to an end, and instead of feeling nervous I felt entertained, from learning all about something I only had a basic understanding of. It was interesting for sure but...not what I was expecting. Then, the position's direct boss and two of his workerscame in to have a real (what I was expecting) interview. They asked 3-4 of the normal questions, and kept it real short. Very very friendly, but not what I expected.
In short, it was not like any interview I've ever been to, felt more like a "welcome to the place." No "what's your greatest weakness questions," etc. I just have to wonder if this is normal practice, and if others have had similar things happen. I obviously want (and need) this job, so I really hope that it went well.
TL;DR: | Job interview was a tour of the place with very little interviewing and lots of talk about what life willbe like for me to work there |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] am considering ditching my group of friends [18-20/mixed gender composition] when I get back to university in the fall.
POST: I'm very uncertain about whether I should continue socializing with my primary peer group; at first, I appreciated being surrounded by such a large bunch of individuals, but gradually, I've begun to realize that my severe social awkwardness acts as an impediment for becoming truly integrated into any social circle. My immediate associates likely just chose to tolerate my presence out of pity, sympathy, and concern, and the position I occupy in this aforementioned group is very much akin to that of a fringe member (overall, the others tend to treat me like a child, and I constantly end up getting rebuked or reprimanded for my many errors).
To make matters worse, I developed an unrequited crush on a girl – despite her kindness, I never saw any indication that she liked me back, and even if she did, other circumstantial factors would still make it impossible. It's so idiotic that I'd develop such a selfish emotional attachment – I've intentionally rejected every bit of compassion that she's tossed my way in hopes that being cold/dismissive would prevent her from learning about any of this, and although I cannot know for sure, I believe she did eventually figure it all out due to a rather humiliating incident that I'd prefer not to expound on.
From a purely objective standpoint), my presence has just added stress/anxiety to the group, and I don't feel that I've been of benefit to anyone else (just to be clear, words like compassionate, friendly, or gregarious couldn't exactly be used to describe my personality). My life has always been pretty screwed up (if you want further details about that, I'd recommend PMing me), and I think that my closest friend out of the group (the guy who introduced me to everyone in the first place) has begun to care *too much* about how I'm coping with it all. Honestly, I don't want him to feel responsible for whatever fate eventually befalls me (after all, he's done everything that he can to help), and I currently believe that departing from the group might be the best choice available to me.
TL;DR: | Encountering some difficulties with my college friends, and I'm considering that it might be best if I remove myself from the situation entirely. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Where to draw the line between me [30M] helping out my mom [65F] and dad [68M] out economically and paying for your own stuff?
POST: This was posted on relationships but i think i can get a clearer picture in personalfinance.
Heres my family situation: Were a group of 5, my two parents and my older sister and younger brother.My brothers 24, Im 30 and my sisters 36, both parents are in their late 60s and unemployed. They had a very successful company roughly 20 years ago which gave us three our education got us through high school and college. Now both myself and my brothers are still living at home with my parents and we three split every expense equally, rent, gas, car, groceries, electricity, etc.
This has a large economic toll on me as roughly 60% of everything I earn working goes towards house expenses. Another 25% aproximately goes towards my health insurance, car insurance, cell phone and gasoline with the remainder going towards leisure and activities. Sometimes expenses around the house are higher than the 60% allocated for that and I dont have the cash to actually help out as much as I would want to someitmes. This really irritates my parents and makes our relationship influenced on the amount of money im willing to give out every month (note that we are a very loving family and my parents are GREAT its just this money situation really gets the worse of them)
What will happen when I move out? Get married? Have kids? Im really worried about this and dont know what to do, the only solution I would think of is getting a higher paying job which im currently looking for.
TL;DR: | question is this: When is it OK to say "No, right now I cant give you any money" and going out my way to provide them with the amount of money theyre asking for? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21/f) can't trust my friend (21/f) anymore since she has started telling me intimate stuff about other people.
POST: Yes I know, it's a stupid reason. But hear me out.
I'm friends with this girl for a year and a half. We are also collegemates so we see eachother daily.
We don't have that many things in common. She's the type to tell jokes, laugh, and talk about her personal life and intimate relationship stuff, while I'm passive and usually just listen and be more reserved.
All is good.
Up until the point where we started this year's college. She befriended another collegemate which I know. They're almost besties. They've never fought.
I'm like ok, it's nice having more friends right?
We occasionally go drink coffee at a cafe. Me, her and some other dude. And at some point, she starts to talk about this girl's intimate stuff. Like how many sexual partners she had, or who she hooked up with this time. And some other intimate stuff like "oh nooo, she did oral, how gross!!".
She was basically spitting out everything that the girl told her.
Need I remind you she never had a fight with this person, and that they are in good terms. Still.
I confronted her and told her that she should stop talking about other people's intimate lives to us, especially if it's someone she is friends with. She got a little mad, and told me she tells us these things because she trusts us.
And I don't know how I should feel about the whole thing. It's not like this was the first time it happened, she also said intimate stuff about other people.
TL;DR: | friend is a total blabbermouth and talks about other people's intimate stuff to me and another coleague, I really feel like I can't trust her anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/m] feel like I cannot talk to my girlfriend [23/f] about my emotions
POST: I have been dating this girl for about 6 months, and we got together properly last week. She is highly religious and believes that God is the solution to all of our problems.
Whenever I try to talk to her about my emotions, she does one of two things. First, she will give me some theological answer while failing to actually talk to me about how I feel and understand me better. Second, she will get really pissed off at me for not trusting her and her commitment to change.
For instance, I just tried to talk to her about my insecurities surrounding our relationship, and she got really angry at me for not trusting in her promise to stick with me. However, I'm afraid that she won't keep this promise because she tends to let her emotions get the better of herself. She refuses to recognise this and consequently I feel like I can't express myself to her.
How should I talk to her about these issues and get her to be more understanding/ proactive about my emotions? I really like her but I feel I can't be with her if she doesn't acknowledge that I have emotions too?
TL;DR: | I feel like I cannot talk to my girlfriend about my emotions because she doesn't listen to me. I would like help in terms of helping her to understand me better . |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21/F] boyfriend [21/M] of two years is moving 900 miles away for the summer...
POST: I've been dating my current boyfriend for two years. We've had an extremely happy relationship. He goes to college while I dropped out and work full-time. In order to graduate, he must complete an internship in his field. He got a well-paid offer from a company 900 miles away. I told him that he should go, seeing as it's difficult to find a paid internship at all and it's perfect for his field. However I can't afford to move with him for just those three months, so I'm staying home and working.
We've lived together for the last year, and we do literally everything together. We both work and go to school and immediately come home to hang out, play videogames, cook dinner, binge-watch TV series together. I can't even begin to imagine having to live the next 3 months without him by my side. I already know that I struggle with long distance relationships due to a short bout where I was commuting away for 4 days a week. During that time, we mostly fought a lot about stupid shit, and every argument basically boiled down to "why can't you just be here..."
Basically, I'm looking for tips on how to make a long distance relationship stay fun. I don't want to spend the whole summer moping about not being able to see him. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I'll get to see him for a few weekends here and there, but all I can think about is the long stretch of hot lonely days between visits.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is moving away for the summer for an internship, I'm staying here, Please give me tips on how to keep my sanity as well as the fun in the relationship! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Boyfriend Birthday Card Help??
POST: Dear Reddit,
My boyfriend's birthday is next week..I sat down at the computer to make him a card and realized I have no idea what I'm doing and it will end up being a printed sheet with clip art from Word. So I turn to you reddit, and ask that if anyone is computer design/Photoshop savvy and has some extra time or nothing to do to help me out with this. My boyfriend is a long time redditor and would love to find out when opening his card that this is how it came to be. I have a couple of ideas for what should be in the card but PM me if you are interested because like I said he's a redditor and will almost certainly see this. If you can help out great, if not also cool I totally understand just figured I'd try. Thanks Reddit!
TL;DR: | Want to give my boyfriend a kick ass card on his birthday, have no idea how to go about this on the computer NEED HELP! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 1.5 years, unsure HOW to break up
POST: Hi reddit,
I'm a little bit lost at the moment. I love my girlfriend, we have a ton of fun together and I consider her my best friend. However, there are still a number of things I want to do such as travel (for a few months after graduation) and be completely independent, without having to worry about a SO. I also do not feel like I'm 100% ready to settle down.
We met in college but are currently medium distance (2.5/3 hours apart). I am fairly certain I want to end things, but I don't know how to do it. All of my previous relationships fizzled out and just ended, as none of them were as serious. The only exception is one that ended in a mutual breakup, where we were both super relieved when we realized we were each trying to give each other the break up speech at the same time, so I've only had a positive break up experience to this point.
Here is the thing, in my current relationship, it would absolutely break my girlfriends heart (as well as mine), and just be awful in general. She is strong, but has a tender heart and is incredibly kind. I know it is absolutely unfair for me to stay in this relationship and not let her get on with her life, but every time I tell myself I'm going to end things I can't bring myself to do it. It's also difficult because we only see each other every few weeks in 2-3 day chunks (and have a great time) and I can't bare the thought of her stuck on public transportation for 3 hours after an emotional break up. I also don't know if it's fair to end things over the phone.
If any of you have had to end things with someone you love, purely because you're not ready, I would love to hear your advice, as well as anyone who can relate. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Love my girlfriend, it's not her, it's me. I don't know how to end things. Any help is appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: NYC Area Wedding Venue Help
POST: My fiance and I are looking to get married in Mar/Apr or Sep/Oct 2017, on a Sunday during the day. Our tentative guest list is 100 right now, but I expect fewer than that will show, so maybe 75? Short non-religious ceremony in the same place as the reception preferred. Budget: ideally less than $15k total.
I've looked at a lot of the 'cheap' NYC venues (like The Picnic House and Queens County Farm Museum) and with venue fees and catering it's close to our $15k budget for everything. I've checked restaurants and even though they don't always have a venue fee, they often have food/drink minimums that are more than our entire budget. If we DO have our wedding in a restaurant, we'd like it to be nice enough that it doesn't seem weird having the ceremony there.
We're okay with Westchester, and maybe an hour or so drive upstate (near a train line preferred). I've looked at some restaurants in Westchester, though, and they're just as expensive as NYC half the time.
Has anyone been through this, and can help? Recommendations on a venue + caterer or restaurant that won't totally destroy our budget would be awesome. But really any advice at this point would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | $15k total budget, 75-100 people, Sunday daytime. Does any venue/caterer or restaurant even exist to meet these needs in NYC or Westchester? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: To go to Pre-Marital Counseling or Not to Go?
POST: I've dated this guy for four years, been engaged for 7 months. He's my best friend. We're both a little introverted, so we love staying in together and playing video games. We both love library dates and working out. I always offer to stay out of things so he can have bro time or alone time. Sometimes he'll take me up on the offer, sometimes he won't. Point is, we're super compatible. Today he decided he doesn't know if getting married is the best choice, because he won't be able to chase other girls or have freedom.
We're trying to work through this- it's one of those "We can do it! We've been through so much together!" situations. We've always tried to work through things alone, but now we are considering pre-marital counseling (nonreligious). Has anyone ever tried or have any recommendations for us? Any input is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Indecisive fiance and I are trying to work shit out and don't know if to get professional help or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my best friend [26F], how do I make her realize going to NYC for her bachelorette party with an ankle sprain isn't going to work for me?
POST: So, I'm MOH in my best friend's wedding next month. This weekend we were supposed to go to NYC for her bachelorette party, to visit friends, and do a bar crawl.
Well last week I sprained my ankle at the gym. It's not severe, but it's the first time I've had an injury like this ao I'm very unsure of my healing time and patterns. It happened a week ago tonight, and my bruising is still bad, it still gets achy if I can't put it up for awhile, I can't walk flat footed but can hobble on the ball of my foot. I still use crutches for l longer distances.
The last thing I want to do right now is sit in a car for 5 hours, walk around NYC for 3 days, and sit in a car again. Not to mention that's not "resting" which is about all you can do for a sprain. I don't want to reinjure it or extend my healing time. She keeps saying it'll be ok, someone will carry me. Oh yeah? Who's going to carry me for 3 days? I don't want to be carried. That doesn't answer what to do about putting my ankle up when it gets sore or achy, or if it gets jostled at a bar, or simply NOT STANDING ON ONE LEG all night.
I've sent her pictures of the bruising. Told her I'm on crutches. I told her the night it happened. How do I make her realize that going to a walking city with a sprained ankle is a terrible idea?
TL;DR: | MOH with a week old and still somewhat hobbled sprained ankle needs to convince bride going bar hopping and running around NYC is not ideal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How would you react if you found out your new neighbor is a convicted sex offender?
POST: EDIT: I should elaborate on my specific circumstances. I'd like to hear everyone's general opinion, but I welcome your specific take on this case.
So my family had some friendly neighbors move a couple of counties away. They ended up renting their house out to their friend. This friend (let's call him "Z"), we had met before at get-togethers and judged to be a decent friendly guy. So Z moves in and my wife just happens to view the local sex offender registry website (this is in the USA) and found his picture and address on there. It says Z was convicted of "attempted kidnapping" and "attempted rape" some 25 years ago. So of course my wife gets into a panic about the whole thing. My viewpoint at the time was that we should beware, but we had no right to confront him or harass him about something that happened a long time ago. I was still uncomfortable knowing this about him and not talking to him about it.
Some time later Z and I happened to stop to talk to one another one morning while mowing lawns. An hour and a half later Z has told me most of his life story including his struggles with some pretty hardcore drugs back in the 80's. I never brought up the sex offender topic, but now I wish I had.
Overall my gut feeling says he's OK. He keeps to himself mostly and is generally friendly. He's clean now and should not be damned for the rest of his life for bad choices in his youth.
Still though, my wife and neighbors are panicked and I'm not sure what to tell them considering I seem to know him the best out of everyone there.
TL;DR: | Sex offender moves in next door and my wife sees his mugshot on Internet. I had a conversation with him one day and he seems alright. Crimes happened back in 80's while he was a druggie. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [19,F] and I [20,M] have had some issues since coming to college.
POST: Okay so I will try to make this as short as possible. So I am at a university with my girlfriend of almost 3 years, and this is the first year we are both here (I was at a CC last year). I'm in the dorms, and she is in an apartment.
We went to the same high school and last year went completely fine. She hungout with a lot of our friends from high school, made new friends, normal college stuff.
Since coming here this year, she has been texting and hanging out with this guy, let's call him Greg, and I have been getting pretty jealous of the whole situation.
I know that she is not cheating on me, and Greg is actually a pretty nice guy, but I've seen some of their messages back and forth and there are things like, "come over I'll make you breakfast and we can talk alone in my room" from Greg.
She also went to dinner with him and one of his friends, and is always on her phone whenever I am with her. Then when she is with him, she takes a long time to respond.
Then along with this stuff happening which has caused some issues, she has also been acting way different than she did over the summer since being here at school. We hungout every day over the summer, and she spent the night at my house often because her at-home situation isn't ideal. Everything was going great and now she has been very irritated with me, and I just feel like she has been talking down to me, but she does not act like this to anyone else. These things were happening before I starting asking her about Greg.
I know that she is not cheating on me, but it still just seems weird and I don't know what to do to resolve this. She says she wants a few days to herself so she can appreciate me, but I think breaks like that are stupid.
Why was it not a problem that we hungout every day over the summer and were very happy, and now she is saying that we hangout too much even though it is much less than we hungout a month ago.
TL;DR: | At school w/ GF, she's talking with another guy, and has been treating me rudely. not sure what to think/do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (M 18) need advice on a girl (F 17) I've been seeing for a little over a month.
POST: So I am a freshman in college and this girl is a junior in high school ( I know not ideal) but we are only a year apart in age until my birthday in two months. Anyways she lost her virginity 3 months ago to some guy I don't know personally. Out of the blue this week she told me she "still has some feelings" for this guy, but also says she likes me and wants me around. Anybody know what these feelings are she has for him? Am I overreacting? Maybe she isn't ready for anything yet? Any help appreciated.
TL;DR: | girl I am seeing "still has some feelings" for the guy who took her virginity 3 months ago and I'm not sure how to take that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (M17 f17) not the same need advice.
POST: I've known this girl for about 7 months about 2 months ago I liked her and she liked me. At first we were just friends but then it got a little more serious. We weren't In a relationship yet but it was very close. I said something one morning that really pissed her off but all it was was just a miscommunication. So that ended us from talking for about 2 weeks. About 3 days ago we finally started talking again. Yesterday I asked her if she wanted to Hang out and she replied with, "why". That's it nothing else. This really confused me and kinda made me sad because I do still have alot of feelings for her. She knows I do but what else can I do? Do I confront her about us not being the same as before? Just need some friendly advice thanks.
TL;DR: | me and this girl were very close, stopped talking for two weeks from miscommunication. Started talking again but relationship is not the same. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22M] How to keep my mind on my GF?[21F] or is it too late.
POST: Forgive me for my shitty grammar reddit-sama.
My girlfriend[21F] was going through a rough period recently and she wouldnt tell me what was up. So i was worried and anxious for two days wondering what was up. Finally she wanted to talk about it after blaming it on numerous other things and turns out its her father (nothing new but its not a big deal). I just felt.. empty, out of juice. I couldnt even console her. Im normally very understanding and non-jugdemental but something in my mind said "im tired of this shit" and i wanted to break up with her since.
But that's not the biggest issue, i feel like ive been emotionally cheating on her for the past month. Ive been hitting on girls, getting their numbers, and then deleting them essentially. All harmless fun? I feel like my heart is in the wrong place.
This is the only relationship where i haven't cheated and yes im a bastard but im trying here. I constantly check out other girls, and even think about other girls when we are having sex. Is this normal? I feel like im too young to be in a relationship and i dont want to hurt her. I am all she has for support stateside (emotionally not financially) and if i leave her she has basically no-one so i feel as if im abandoning her. I still love this woman and i know in my heart she will be the one that got away.
I just dont know what the right move is because ive never had a good model for a relationship in the first place. Every relationship ive been in resolves the same way but i am admant against cheating on anyone ever again. Is my wandering eye a normal human male thing or am i kidding myself and should i end this? I dont think im built for relationships period but if i were to stay how can i keep my reptilic mind in check and stay focused on the one i love? I feel like im going to regret this either way.
TL;DR: | Manwhore regrets getting in relationship, needs help to check wandering eye. Or needs a kick in the butt and stays single forever |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [Early 20's] Great relationship might be falling apart due to differing desires about the future. Is this really the only possible outcome? (xpost from relationships)
POST: We've been together for a year. I'm the M, she's the F. Things have truly been great with her, I can't stress that enough. She and I are very compatible. Save one minor but significant thing.
She wants kids in 4 years, I see them being much farther down the line in my future, if at all. Having kids in this time frame is important to her. To me, waiting to have them is important because I want to exhaust my youth and selfishness before even considering becoming a father.
If we stay together, there's a possibility my mind could change, but not a guarantee. I could end up severely disappointing her. Plus the break-up would be much harder, considering 4 year's worth of feelings would be piled onto the deep one's we have cultivated over a year.
Neither of us wants to say it but we're leaning toward breaking up now on unfortunate but good terms. She feels that if we stay together she may be on the defensive, since there is the possibility of a latent dealbreaker rearing its head down the road, unless somehow I changed my mind and proved it was what I really wanted. This raises the question for me: what about the interim? How will she decide how much, or how little to invest in me?
We really love each other but this is hard to overlook. We both would want to be fully committed to the idea of having a child when it comes to that, we wouldn't want resentment to fester beneath the surface because one or both parties had to concede on their vision to make things work.
Does anyone have any insight on this type of dilemma? Did you go through it yourself? How did you make it work, or why didn't it work? Your help is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I want to have kids at very different points in life. Worried about investing ourselves even more only to have to let it all go down the line. What do we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I stay married? F30, unhappy with marriage to M 28 due to constant bickering, arguing, etc
POST: We've been married for over 5 years. We have known each other for a long time and were very good friends for a long time before ever dating. But now, I hardly recognize our relationship. We can't have a conversation without it turning into some bickering match. I feel henpecked. He feels henpecked. Neither of us is happy and we can't figure out what to do to get back to a happy relationship. We are in marriage counseling due to various problems, none of which are the immediate dealbreakers such as cheating or physical abuse. Our main issues are communication related, but the issues are so serious and repeated that I am unhappy and losing hope that we can solve the problems. Yesterday we left our counseling appointment and I was in tears. He said nothing about the fact that I was crying, nor even spoke to me about it. Later, after getting so frustrated with trying to speak about our issues, I started crying again in the car and again, he said nothing. My husband is extremely loved and is known to be a caring person. If he saw a stranger walking down the street crying, he would swerve across three lanes of traffic and pull over to find out what was the matter with them. Not exaggerating. But I am the person that lives with him and I feel that he treats me differently, and not in a good way. He agreed to go to marriage counseling and so did I, but now all discussions turn into long drawn out disagreements about basic and stupid issues. It has gotten to the point where now I don't even want to talk for fear of it starting another pointless argument. Now instead of not communicating, we argue! I don't want to go back to having no communication but I can't take this fighting either. I hate conflict! I am withdrawing and seriously considering moving out to give us both peace and quiet. I know he is tired of the way our communication (fails to) work too, but neither of us can figure out what we are doing wrong. Suggestions? Advice? Theories?
TL;DR: | Two people who really know and love each other are driving each other crazy and are miserable with the constant argument that has resulted from us trying to improve the quality of communication. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My close friend's new girlfriend likes me [M, 17] and I don't know what to do.
POST: We're in high school. She's my very recent ex girlfriend's best friend. This girl, let's call her Jane, confessed to me last night that she really liked me since before I even dated my ex.
I value my friend a lot. I always just tried to make sure he was happy and I encouraged their very new relationship. I thought nothing of it and just cheered him on.
She told him today that she wasn't ready for a relationship, and now he's apparently furious at me. My ex girlfriend and I are still friends and we had supported their relationship even after our own breakup. She doesn't know about this secret crush.
We're meeting up in half an hour to discuss the issues at hand because she's the only one I can talk to about this issue.
Should I tell her about the secret crush her best friend has on me? I just want my close friend to be happy, this was never my intention.
TL;DR: | my ex's best friend was dating my best friend but she apparently likes me and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I, [19 M] with my alcoholic Mother, [62 F] have no idea what to do.
POST: Returned from college this summer to find her drinking is not only worse, it has resulted in her isolation and boredom. She hasn't worked for about eight years and with all of her children gone, she drinks every night and is too hungover during the day to be productive or social to any degree.
My father [63 M] has an intense work schedule and is too complacent to take any real action to help her. He and I discuss in and out-patient help but he has never made an actual step in that direction (such as a phone call).
Is it my place to do anything about it? I think nothing short of several weeks in a clinic will be of any help to her but as the child I'm not sure how I should act. Any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you!!
TL;DR: | Alcoholic Mother is drinking her life away and my father seems unwilling or unable to get her any real help, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: First 'date' with a girl
POST: When I say date, I mean just more like a hangout than an official date with a title. I'm 16, as is she, so I know it's not imperative I find a woman or for this to absolutely go off without a hitch. I know there are other girls, this one just seems like she may be worthwhile.
We started talking several months ago, not very often, we had met at a concert and it turned out I knew her older sister. So I added her on Facebook and once in a while we'd talk on Facebook or something. Then, a bit more recently, I got her BBM and we started talking a lot on that, almost every day. It turns out we're very similar people, having some of the same fears, quirks, taste in music and a few other things.
About 3 weeks ago my band was having their first show and I invited her, because I had started becoming more interested in her, and I could sort of play it off as a 'hey, come and support, it's our first gig!'. She came and after my set, we talked a bit and I thanked her for coming and that was that.
Now to get to the actual date deal. After the show we started talking even moreso then we have and I finally decided to ask her to hang out, just us. We're not planning anything special, just a walk around the neighborhood, maybe go to a local park and just relax. My question is "how do I make this go well?" to put it simply. I'd like to start expressing interest on this outing, but I'm not entirely sure how. If I didn't provide enough/the right info, please ask!
TL;DR: | Met a girl I really like, we talk quite a bit and are going to hang out alone for the first time. How do I impress her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [f/19] upset at boyfriend's [21/m] lack of thought, planning on standing him up/leaving him
POST: Basically, my boyfriend has no consideration, and little common sense.
It started at Christmas. All he bought me was incense stick, a holder, a box of Yankee tealight candles, a skull candle holder and three separate heart shaped soaps that were really bland from the Body Shop.
Of course I was upset and disappointed. It caused many arguments, I had to pretend I liked it but then I snapped at him, and flipped. I was like "have you never had a female in your life? I mention I like incense once and I asked for a nice smelling soap once, I don't want my whole life to revolve around it."
But then we moved on. Fast forward to my birthday and I jokingly said a few days before "haha imagine if you got me soap and incense again." he chuckled nervously, and a few days later, lo and behold, I am greeted with the sight of a jumbo pack of incense, a small glass skull shaped incense burner, three different soaps from lush and a bottle of rose with our photo on it.
i had to fake loving it, but behind closed doors i was upset. I wasn't expecting jewellery but to get the same things again show lack of thought, and it seems really rushed. especially after what I got him for his birthday, and for valentine's day.
Regarding Valentine's Day, he originally wanted to cook for me and not get me presents. I was fine with that. but then as he can't make it to my birthday party (this monday, as he has a job interview the next day), he said he's going to take me out tomorrow to make up for it for a meal. That's it. No flowers, just a meal. Which is being used as an apology for not being at my party.
So I was thinking of standing him up at the meal tomorrow. I'm so close to leaving him, it's like he has no common sense at all. He says "I've never had to do this before", meaning buying presents for girls, he's had girlfriends and fuckbuddies before me.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is shit at buying presents, tomorrow is the last straw. Thinking of standing him up on Valentine's Day, and even possibly leaving him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey, Reddit. I'm thinking of starting up a little side business fixing computers home to home.
POST: Does anyone have any experience with this? What's a good rate to charge for simply virus/malware removal? What about something more labor intensive; like a complete re-install of whatever operating system AND the updates plus whatever programs they need?
I assume the easiest way to gain attention right away would be on Craigslist, but are there any other free/cheap places to advertise?
I've realized that I could possibly make twice as much per day than I do an hour at a steady rate if this takes off. I'm sure it will be pretty unpredictable, but at the moment I've already made 150 dollars just removing malware/virus' from 4 co-workers over the past few months. This piques my interest, naturally.
Anyway, any pointers?
TL;DR: | I'm thinking of working for myself as a on-site computer fixit guy. Any pointers, ideas, or extreme tales of caution? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 3.5 years--I'm jealous of his willingness to be social.
POST: Like the title says, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3.5 years. When we first started living together about a year after we got together, he was the least social person ever. He hated going out, he made up excuses not to spend time with friends, he'd get really anxious if we were out longer than an hour, and hosting people ended with him in our room while I entertained. Over the past few years, his social anxiety has gotten much better, but he would still prefer to hang out with me in our apartment and play video games or watch a movie. Eventually, I also became not terribly sociable and we enjoyed avoiding people together.
About a month ago, he moved to another state for work, which means we are now in a long-distance relationship. Yay! (ugh they're hard) Ever since he's moved, he's put so much effort into making friends and being social and going out. I, on the other hand, have not. I used to be so great at making friends and being the life of the party, but ever since I graduated college, I've been less and less outgoing (further enabled by my bf's anxiety).
How do I get over being so very jealous whenever he says he's going to a movie with a friend, or grabbing dinner, or trying to make friends with his next door neighbors? How do I turn these negative feelings into positive ones? Because deep down, I am legitimately so happy that he's grown out of his anxiety and is putting in an honest effort... but I hate that I have become so reclusive.
As a follow-up question, how do y'all adults make friends outside of college?? It seems so impossible!
Maybe good to note: I don't drink, so that tends to get in the way of hanging out with people.
TL;DR: | My LDR boyfriend used to hate hanging out, now he's making friends left and right. I am jealous because I used to be the sociable one, but now I can't make a friend for the life of me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the worst smell (or smells) you have ever encountered?
POST: I can distinctly recall two different instances where smells were by no means comparable to anything else I have ever encountered.
The first: I was a part of a cub scout group and we had a contest for smelliest catfish bait. There was a trip planned at the end of the month at what was our local fishing hole, and we all decided that the best way to catch catfish is with smelly bait. Thus, the contest arose.
My secret weapon: A mixture of three pounds of chicken liver, 1/4 gallon of milk, 5 eggs, some mustard (for color) and some other ingredients I cannot readily remember. The last step was time. I stuck the concoction into an old tin coffee container and let it steep in the sun in my backyard for the entire month.
A day before the fishing trip, i check on my mix and I peer into the coffee container to see that nothing is still a solid. Everything turned to liquid. I could not use this as bait because nothing would stay on the hook, but needless to say, I won the contest.
The second: I had a part time job while attending college at a local vitamin manufacturing plant as a janitor-"Sanitation engineer" to the ladies. I was so good at my job that I was recruited to "deep clean" a particular area that had been neglected for two years behind one of the mixing machines.
The smells of the powders of nutrition smell bad enough, but this was a build up unrecognizable gunk that even jabba the hut would be squeamish at. Coupled with bleach and a mere mop, the job took me about 5 hours start to finish an the absolute worst smell was that mop bucket full of the colorful bleachy vita-gunk. I literally just gagged thinking and typing that. I have also never smelled "death" but I imagine that is pretty bad.
TL;DR: | My homemade fish bait and my bucket of "cleaned" vitamin buildup as a janitor at a vitamin manufacturing conpany definitely smelled the worst. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by posting a picture of my combat grade throwing tomahawk in the wrong GroupMe
POST: This happened last night.
So I am in a wedding as a groomsman and the groom thought it would be hilarious to get us Combat Grade Throwing Tomahawks as groomsmen gifts, which admittedly is an awesome idea. I'm in college and home for the break so I was telling my roommates from school about it in our GroupMe and they asked to see a picture when I finished my Christmas morning festivities.
Here's where the FU happens. I'm a youth group leader and am in a GroupMe with 96 other youth group leaders (we emailed GroupMe to let it hold more people) that are peers from college. As you can probably figure out....I posted the picture in that group me saying something like "getting my combat grade throwing tomahawk through security will be a nightmare!" Probably 45 mins passed before I figured out what I did, which came when I realized that whoever liked my post was not one of my roommates. Now there's a picture of a combat throwing tomahawk in my youth group GroupMe on Christmas morning and they probably think I'm a psycho...
TL;DR: | Was sending my roommates a picture of the combat grade throwing tomahawk I got as a groomsman gift, sent it to a GroupMe full of 96 people from my youth group. I look like a psycho now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Who should walk me (24F) down the aisle?
POST: Help me out Reddit! My parents got divorced when I was 3, and my mom and I moved about an hour away from my dad. I grew up spending every other weekend and half of every holiday with him and we have a great relationship. My mom got remarried when I was about 5 to a great guy who has ALWAYS treated me like I was his own. He missed work to take me events, took care of me when I was sick and was there for me on a daily basis. I love him just as much as my own dad. I know I am extremely fortunate to be in this situation but I don't know what to do about my walk down the aisle. I would have both of them do this but I feel bad taking that moment from my dad.
TL;DR: | Love both my dad and stepdad equally, don't know who should walk me down the aisle (first world problem, I know) |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I (23F) got hot chocolate with a taken guy (22M) today, how should I interpret this in the context of our friendship?
POST: I met this guy at my second job last fall. I immediately had a crush on him. I thought there was no way he didn't have a girlfriend because he's so good-looking and nice. I was right.
We worked together for a while, then I quit. We worked at a tutoring center where often we were the only adults in the room. One of my last times working we went out to get Subway (which was next door) together. It was fun but not amazing by any means. I still found myself very attracted to him, though.
Fast forward about two months. We snapchatted and texted intermittently, nothing particularly heavy or interesting. I asked him to take my work uniform polos back to the center and he agreed; so we met up today.
We ended up getting hot chocolate at a coffee shop and talking for about 20 minutes before he had to go to work. Maybe I'm making too much of it, but while it wasn't really awkward (I mean, there were maybe a couple awkward moments) I kind of thought to myself, "What were we doing there?" afterwards.
We've talked about his girlfriend a few times, and I'm pretty sure he knows I'm single. Do you think he just views me as a friend? Subway and coffeeshop were the only times we've ever hung out outside work.
Also, I knew he was in a rush beforehand so I suggested we just meet in a parking lot and I would give the polos to him. When he arrived, he suggested we go get a drink at Subway (a different one, haha) when we walked by the coffee shop and decided to go there instead.
TL;DR: | Got hot chocolate with a guy who is taken, not sure if he wants friendship or more, or if it is just wishful thinking on my part. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26/M] need to teach my brother [21/M] life skills and help him with his depression
POST: My brother and I still live with our parents. Our parents are extreme helicopter parents and I'm sure there's some mental illness in there somewhere. We did not grow up in a loving or supportive environment(in my opinion). I am not close with my brother. I'm not sure anyone in our family is close. We hardly ever talk or do anything together despite living in the same house.
He is 21 years old and has lots of problems. He has poor social skills and is extremely scared of people and social situations. He had some friends in highschool but I don't think he has any now. He doesn't know how to drive, doesn't go to school, and doesn't work. I don't remember the last time he left the house. His only hobby is video games. He doesn't know how to do basic life things because our mother always did everything for him. Like how to do laundry, cook, make appointments, grocery shop, etc. I'm sure he is very depressed.
I went through similar problems. I used to be extremely afraid of people as well but I mostly overcame it. I've been extremely depressed before and I know what it's like. I know what he is going thorough but I don't know how to help him. We are both very afraid of talking about our feelings. Not sure what to do.
TL;DR: | My younger brother is depressed and scared of people. We don't talk but I went through similar things and what to help him but I'm afraid. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25/M] falling for one of my best friends [25/F] who is also a co-worker
POST: Throwaway because she uses Reddit too
Long story short, I've known her for over a year now, and we get on really, really well. Over the last 2 months, we've started working together in the same company but different-ish sections of the company, and been hanging out, talking, texting with each other more and more. I really have fallen for her and want to tell her, but because we are working so close together and share the same circle of friends, I'm worried that if she doesn't feel the same way that it could make things become awkward both in work and when the group of friends are hanging out.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | We're really good friends, co-workers, and I'm kind of worried that if I ask her out and rejected it'll make things awkward within work and circle of friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Starting my [23F] first relationship since ending a LT abusive relationship....I can't open up to him [24M] at all and I'm scared I'll ruin it before it's really begun.
POST: I just started seeing someone new (I've known him for years platonically, but we re-connected about two months ago and have been "hanging out" a lot since in non-platonic ways), after getting out of a nearly 4 year emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. I have been to counseling and thought I was fine...but we kissed last night for the first time and I am having some pretty confusing emotions. I *don't* have feelings for my ex anymore, but I can't shake this nagging guilty feeling for liking this new guy. That combined with a new, strange anxiety. Before the aforementioned LT relationship I casually dated a lot, and felt like I was pretty damn good at it. I rarely felt nervous, had practically unshakable confidence and could open up easily. Now that I've had a pretty traumatic serious relationship I am having a really hard time opening up at all. My ex used the intimate things I told him against me as insults when he was pissed. New guy is nothing like that, which is amazing, and I intellectually feel safe around him. The problem is that I am unintentionally feeling super skiddish, probably why it took almost two months for him to actually try and kiss me. I guess I'm looking for tips and advice on how to move forward after an extremely toxic relationship. I don't want to ruin something potentially amazing, that is currently making me happy because of that horrible relationship. I just want to move forward, I'm not talking to the ex and have cut him out of my life almost entirely, so it's not that I can't let go, I'm just confused and frustrated at how different dating feels now, compared to before. This man is seriously wonderful, so kind, so gentle and sweet, I don't want to fuck this up, but it's been two freaking months and I've known him for much longer than that and I still can't open up. Help please r/relationship_advice!
TL;DR: | Ended an abusive longterm relationship, about three months ago. Am seeing a new really cool guy but can't seem to open up to him. How do I let go of the baggage from my last relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20 F] I've been taking on extra part time jobs and responsibilities to avoid my boyfriend [22 M] of 2 yrs
POST: To my family, it looks like I've taken initiative and have a sincere desire to make my resume look pristine, but I've been working 2+ jobs on top of school because I don't know how to say "leave me alone" to my boyfriend.
I don't have a car at school, so if I go to spend time at his apartment, he's my ride there and back. Which means I can't come and go as I please. And unless it's work, class, or a club meeting, I get a "what? do you not want to hang out with me? am I boring you?" if I so much as ask to grab lunch with a friend without he/she being in immediate danger.
I love the guy. I do, and when we do hang out, it's fun. But I can't keep signing up for things I know he can't do with me just to have scheduled "me time".
TL;DR: | Clingy boyfriend won't let me leave his apartment unless my friends have been tied to a railroad track somewhere. how do I tell him i'm annoyed without hurting his feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(F/22) S/O(M/32) of three years would rather look at porn than be intimate with me. What do I do?
POST: My S/O and I have been together for three years. We have always had a great sex life until about a year ago. Ever since then, he would rather look a porn when he's in the mood than be intimate with me.
Every time I'm in the mood, I approach him and let him know I want him. He almost always turns me down, saying that he isn't in the mood. The thing is, when he does turn me down, I know he masturbates an hour or so later.
I'm trying not to let this hurt my feelings, but it does get to me. I've tried talking to him about it, but he insists nothing is wrong. Does he not find me attractive anymore? Is he bored? It wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't throw myself at him several times a day to no avail. Has anyone else gone through something similar with their s/o?
TL;DR: | S/O of three years would rather wank it to porn than bone me. I make it know I want his hot beef injection many times daily, yet he turns me down and wanks it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Working with our reactive(?) dog. Just hoping for some success stories and encouragement.
POST: We've had our pitbull/boxer mix for about four years now. She's approximately five years old. She's was very good for the first two, two and half years that we had her. Sweet to every dog she met, played nicely with all of them.
Within the first six months that we had her my parent's older cocker spaniel attacked our dog while she was sleeping during a visit to my parents' house, bit my dog, then myself and my dad when we tried to intervene. I was afraid that she would be traumatised by this, but she was still good with other dogs at this point.
Two-ish years ago one of my cousin's dogs charge her (not sure why) and they got into a pretty bad fight. Both dogs came away bleeding. After that was when she started having issues. If we met a dog on our walks that was quiet and ignored her, she was fine. But dogs that would bark or lunge at her would set her whining and pulling.
She escaped our backyard once when the gate was left open by accident, and she got into a fight with another off leash dog. We didn't see this happen, so we don't know what happened. Again, both dogs were bleeding. The neighbor's dog needed stitches (which we paid for). At this point I was deeply upset. Now we always double check the gate before she goes out. Kept her away from other dogs as much as possible when we weren't sure of them. We started looking for a trainer.
We've been working with the trainer for about a month now, and there has been some small improvements. She's much better on walks than she had been before. No more pulling on the leash, which is nice. She still gets upset when we walk past angry dogs, but not as much as before.
Anyway, I guess I'm just hoping someone could give me some encouragement, share their success stories. I love this dog so much, and I don't want anything else to happen that would result in another dog getting hurt, my dog getting hurt, us having to get rid of her, or put her down. It would break my heart.
TL;DR: | Dog has become dog aggressive over time. Been in several fights, some she started, some she didn't. Working with training, hoping for encouragement. Thanks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Long distance relationship [both 23], and we rarely communicate
POST: Hello friends,
I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend, Maya, for 4 years now, the last two of which have been long-distance. We quickly "fell in love" and we both still to this day feel like we have something special. We've both grown and changed since we were 19, but we have maintained excellent communication and are still crazy about each other. We took a break for about 6 months during the long-distance portion (her idea), both saw a few other people, but in the end she lamented how she wanted me back. We both agreed that we felt like we were perfect for each other and we got back together.
Fast forward to today, we've been back at it for just about a year, and our communication is horrible. When we see each other, it's perfect. But while we're apart, I can't get her to call me, text me, or even invite me to see her. We talk, on average, for about an hour once every two weeks.
I know we are both young and both working, so we don't talk as much as we'd like. But it seems to me that she would rather hang with her friends than make any effort to talk to me. I'm not the type of person that wants to chat all night; I just want to know she's thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about her.
This is eating me up inside. She's not willing to say she'll always love me, because we're both so young, which I understand. But if we're still trying to make this work now, I'd like to know she is just as into it as I am. Is this strange at all?
TL;DR: | My long-distance girlfriend rarely tries to communicate with me. I don't wanna break up with her because I love her, but I don't feel that she loves me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Boyfriend (m/28) wants to have a threesome but I (27/f) don't feel comfortable with this
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We love each other very much and have a great bond. He is a wonderful man and i trust him full heartedly.
There is just one thing that really bothers me..he wants a threesome. I appreciate the fact he opens up about his fantasies and we talk about them but I just feel so uncomfortable with the idea of bringing in another person and seeing them pleasuring eachother, even if I am present too. I have previously made attempts to talk to other girls on dating sites, flirted and made out with girls in front of him to get things moving, and even tried taking a girl home but backed out of it and I was in tears all night. I have attempted in making small sacrifices because I want to fulfill his fantasy, but I feel as though I am also hurting my own self in the process. He has told me that it bothers him when I flat out say no instead of taking the chance on learning if I truly would actually enjoy these experiences. If I learn that I didn't like it after all, he said he won't bother me with it anymore and respect my wishes.
I'm a jealous woman..and have some insecurities that I have dealt with as a young child. I'm afraid that this will emotionally break me.
He doesn't want to be held back from living life and fulfilling certain wants and needs but wants to share this with me. He says he doesn't want it to be years later and still being restricted because it will make him feel miserable. It makes me feel guilty that I am technically holding him back from these needs..so I can try to keep an open and positive mindset and make the sacrifice in looking for a 3rd partner to get physical with but I already imagine this hurting me emotionally.
So I ask you redditors of the world...is there really some type of happy medium in this ? Am I overreacting or being selfish? I love this man so very much. And I know he loves me too..but I also realize how important it is for a human being to fulfill their fantasies.
Is there any way to get over these insecurities and emotions?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 3 years wants a threesome but I do not. I don't want to stop him from his needs but feel as though fulfilling this need may hurt me too. Is there any balance or compromise in this ? |
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