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Even her parents.
At her funeral, you know, her mum was comforting me.
Her fucking mum.
What could I say to her?
Nobody wants to hear that their daughter's dead
because I was looking at me fucking phone.
Afterwards, everyone tried to get me to go to grief counseling.
-[whispers] It's Pen. -Talk about it.
Just say... say how you feel.
And I'm thinking...
I can't say a fucking thing.
Because how I feel is that I fucking killed her.
I killed her.
[sobs] Me.
I killed her over a fucking... dog photo.
I killed her over that.
I hear you.
What?
I said... "I hear you."
Of course you fucking hear me.
You sound like you're in a lot of pain.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! Speak like a fucking human being!
You said you hear me so fucking hear me.
I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. They gave me bullshit advice.
-fucking talking points. -talking points.
-fucking hell. -I know.
Fuck! I'm...
I don't know what to say to you.
Okay?
That's the truth.
I don't know what to say. I don't know what you want me to say.
I know it was me.
It was me. I was driving. It was my fault.
I never told anyone before because what good would that do,
or I could write it all down and leave a... a note, shoot myself,
but what good would that do?
But I thought I could tell you.
If I could get you to listen.
It was your thing, you built it.
I heard that that you make these things that way.
Addictive.
So that you can't take your eyes off them.
Well, job done.
Bit of user feedback for you there.
Maybe factor that into your next update. [sniffs]
I'm so sorry about your girl.
Truly. I'm, uh...
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Our whole platform, I swear to God.
It was... like, it was one thing when I started it
and then it just... I don't know,
it just became this whole other fucking thing.
I mean, it got there by degrees, you know, they said...
"Bill, you gotta keep optimizing, you gotta keep people engaged."
Until it was more like a crack pipe.
It was like some kind of fucking Vegas casino where...
And we'd sealed off all the fucking doors.
They've got a department... All they do is tweak it like that on purpose.
They've got dopamine targets and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
I started it. There's nothing I can do to fucking stop it.
I'm like some kind of... fucking bullshit front-man now.
I swear to God, I've been on this retreat, supposed to be for ten days...
After, like, day two,
-I decided, fuck it. -Hey.
-I quit Smithereen. That's it, I'm out. -Hey. Shut up!
-No way I'm-- -Shut up.
I don't give a fuck what you do now.
Beat yourself up or fucking run a victory lap, I don't care.
I just wanted to say my piece.
I'm gonna go now.
Chris...
you gonna let our guy go?
-of course I am. -Oh, Thank God.
I'm going to. I always was, all along.
And now I'm out of here.
Wait, Chris, um, out of here
-as in... -as In Out of here.
-What do you think I fucking mean? -No. No, what? Don't...
You don't have to do that.
Chris, you do not have to do that.
I can't stay here, not after what I did to her.
-I have to. -No, you don't have to do anything!
You don't have to waste your life.
[laughs]
It is wasted.
[Chris breathes shakily]
If there's anything that I can do, Chris,
you gotta give me a shot here, okay?
There's gotta be something that I can do, even if it's something small.
There's gotta be one small thing that I can do for you.
Please, Chris, just...
Chris, anything.
[breathes deeply]
Do you know the guy who owns Persona?
Yeah, I know Curtis. Sure.
[phone rings]
-Hello? -Hayley Blackwood?
Speaking.
I'm calling from Persona in San Francisco.
I've been asked to pass on some information to you.