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Even her parents.
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At her funeral, you know, her mum was comforting me.
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Her fucking mum.
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What could I say to her?
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Nobody wants to hear that their daughter's dead
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because I was looking at me fucking phone.
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Afterwards, everyone tried to get me to go to grief counseling.
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-[whispers] It's Pen. -Talk about it.
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Just say... say how you feel.
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And I'm thinking...
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I can't say a fucking thing.
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Because how I feel is that I fucking killed her.
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I killed her.
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[sobs] Me.
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I killed her over a fucking... dog photo.
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I killed her over that.
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I hear you.
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What?
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I said... "I hear you."
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Of course you fucking hear me.
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You sound like you're in a lot of pain.
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Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! Speak like a fucking human being!
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You said you hear me so fucking hear me.
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I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. They gave me bullshit advice.
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-fucking talking points. -talking points.
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-fucking hell. -I know.
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Fuck! I'm...
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I don't know what to say to you.
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Okay?
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That's the truth.
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I don't know what to say. I don't know what you want me to say.
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I know it was me.
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It was me. I was driving. It was my fault.
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I never told anyone before because what good would that do,
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or I could write it all down and leave a... a note, shoot myself,
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but what good would that do?
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But I thought I could tell you.
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If I could get you to listen.
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It was your thing, you built it.
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I heard that that you make these things that way.
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Addictive.
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So that you can't take your eyes off them.
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Well, job done.
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Bit of user feedback for you there.
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Maybe factor that into your next update. [sniffs]
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I'm so sorry about your girl.
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Truly. I'm, uh...
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It wasn't supposed to be like this.
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Our whole platform, I swear to God.
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It was... like, it was one thing when I started it
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and then it just... I don't know,
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it just became this whole other fucking thing.
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I mean, it got there by degrees, you know, they said...
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"Bill, you gotta keep optimizing, you gotta keep people engaged."
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Until it was more like a crack pipe.
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It was like some kind of fucking Vegas casino where...
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And we'd sealed off all the fucking doors.
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They've got a department... All they do is tweak it like that on purpose.
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They've got dopamine targets and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
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I started it. There's nothing I can do to fucking stop it.
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I'm like some kind of... fucking bullshit front-man now.
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I swear to God, I've been on this retreat, supposed to be for ten days...
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After, like, day two,
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-I decided, fuck it. -Hey.
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-I quit Smithereen. That's it, I'm out. -Hey. Shut up!
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-No way I'm-- -Shut up.
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I don't give a fuck what you do now.
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Beat yourself up or fucking run a victory lap, I don't care.
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I just wanted to say my piece.
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I'm gonna go now.
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Chris...
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you gonna let our guy go?
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-of course I am. -Oh, Thank God.
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I'm going to. I always was, all along.
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And now I'm out of here.
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Wait, Chris, um, out of here
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-as in... -as In Out of here.
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-What do you think I fucking mean? -No. No, what? Don't...
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You don't have to do that.
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Chris, you do not have to do that.
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I can't stay here, not after what I did to her.
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-I have to. -No, you don't have to do anything!
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You don't have to waste your life.
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[laughs]
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It is wasted.
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[Chris breathes shakily]
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If there's anything that I can do, Chris,
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you gotta give me a shot here, okay?
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There's gotta be something that I can do, even if it's something small.
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There's gotta be one small thing that I can do for you.
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Please, Chris, just...
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Chris, anything.
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[breathes deeply]
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Do you know the guy who owns Persona?
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Yeah, I know Curtis. Sure.
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[phone rings]
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-Hello? -Hayley Blackwood?
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Speaking.
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I'm calling from Persona in San Francisco.
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I've been asked to pass on some information to you.
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