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with ten-inch Whitehall fangs.
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This video came from YouTube.
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What?
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It was uploaded via an encrypted IP over an hour ago.
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Well get it off there!
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We did, after nine minutes,
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but that was long enough for it to be downloaded,
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duplicated and spread.
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Spread?
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How many people have seen this?
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We take down one, six clones immediately pop up elsewhere.
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How many people?
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50,000, that's our current estimate.
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The news rooms have got it.
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They're running this on air?
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No, no, we put a type 5D notice out immediately.
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And they're complying.
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For now, it's trending on Twitter.
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Oh for... fucking Internet.
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So what now? What's the play book?
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This is virgin territory, Prime Minister.
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There's no play book.
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(woman) Princess Susannah's been kidnapped.
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You scared the shit out of me.
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And there's a YouTube of it...
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Oh, go to work.
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(Princess Susannah) ...and have full unsimulated
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sexual intercourse with a pig...
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No way. It's a piss take, man, look at it!
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I don't understand!
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Why's it not on the news.
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(woman) ...Carlton Bloom's controversial agitation
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exhibition at the Tate Modern closes three weeks ahead of
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schedule amid criticism...
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So how do we even describe it? "An indecent act."
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Everyone's seen the video.
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They already know the full details.
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If we mention bestiality pre-watershed,
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Ofcom would be seriously pissed off.
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Fuck Ofcom.
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We're still observing the D notice.
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But surely we're going to do something...
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We're honouring the D notice.
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The voluntary D notice.
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It may be a sportsman-like gesture,
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but we are making it,
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a woman's life is at stake here, we follow procedure.
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My time line consists 100 per cent of viewers asking
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why we're not covering it.
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How do I reply?
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You don't.
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That is totally backwards.
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No-one else has broken rank, not the Beeb, not Sky, not...
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I hear Facebook's coverage is pretty comprehensive.
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(Laughter) That may be, but...
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(woman) It's like 9/11's happening
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and we're broadcasting sandwich recipes.
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Martin We're not a chat room.
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It's on CNN. And Fox.
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And MSNBC, Al Jazeera, NHK...
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Yeah, all right.
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Oh, God, this planet.
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Okay, Sarah, cover the snatch itself, Damon public reaction,
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Mira, the royal angle, upcoming marriage etc.
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Simon, set tone with standards and practices.
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we need to explain this without viewers
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sicking up their Weetabix.
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Lorcan, the Internet aspect, new paradigm, Twitter, Arab spring,
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all that bibble.
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Dan, all graphics run past me, keep it functional,
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no pepper pigs.
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Malaika, update the Princess obit VT.
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The obit VT?
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Hm, first an awkward phone call, the least I can do is warn Tom.
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We put a D notice on it.
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(Martin) It's gone global, Tom.
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Don't.
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(Martin) I can't do anything...
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- I'm begging you. - You're begging me?
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Don't run it, Martin.
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Look I'm sorry, I can't help you.
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You know how much help you're getting from here on in?
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Multiplying nothing by shit all, UKN is dead to us.
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Shove it up your ass, you fucking...
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Interesting?
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A man.
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A man?
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A man.
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Tom. So you're across it,
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I'm exploring contingency plans.
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I briefed Callett.
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Ah, Mr Callett, Noel from Blue Eye.
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Noel won an Emmy for his effects work
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on that HBO moon Western thing.
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Sea of Tranquillity.
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Yeah, yeah, you won't find better.
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Can you map a head onto a different body, live?
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It depends if your camera's moving.
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Rule sheet specifies a single hand held camera
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in a constant roving motion.
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