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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, So no one called me. Nobody emailed me either. But, you know what. I am glad. I am. Truthfully. NO SARCASM. I used to tell a story to people all the time hopeing that it might help them in the walk of life. In my head, it made sense and had a wonderful point. See, I believe, everyone is born with certain devils in their lives. Bad things that have just 'always been there.' Things that you have always done. Whether it's a personality flaw. Whether it's a pridefull thought. Whether it is something blatantly obvious or something hidden deep down inside. Whatever these 'devils' are...everyone has them. And it's everyone's job to discover them and rid their lives of them. That was the big line I used. Makes ya think. Well, it might have made you think. But, you know....it never really made me think. Nope. I just continued on feeling like I 'helped' someone. Feeling like I just did good. Good job Anthony, you saved someone. Moron. How can someone who analizes everything about life be so blind and stupid to miss this big thing? This great gigantic 2 by 4 sticking out of your eye? How did you miss that? How did you not realize what you were doing? And then the worst part is....you rant and rave about some sort of respect or love or pat on the back that you think you deserve? I am not entitled to anything. I am not entitled to love, friendships, or anything else that I have in my life. I don't deserve these things that I am getting. And I definetely don't deserve the things I am not getting. I don't even deserve to have you guys read these letters each time something pops into my head. Yet, for almost 22 years of my life I lived everyday thinking I do. Expecting my 'time' to come. Expecting everyone to realize how 'great' of a person I am. I am not great. I am not even good. Being good is not doing everything in your power to control the thoughts and actions of your peers. Being good is not even an action. Being good....is smiling and giving me a hug even though I do things that disgust you. Being good is listening to me whine about my life on the phone, knowing the the true problem lies within myself and yet saying nothing because you know now is not the time. Being good is getting the courage to tell me the truth when it is the right time. Hell, that's not just being good....that's is what is great. That is what seperates the people who think they are special from the people that truely are in this world. I have a confession to make. For a long time I thought I was special. I thought I was sent here for you guys. To help you. To be here for you. To be your friend. But, today....I realized.....It was you guys that were sent here for me. You guys are the special ones. I am just a normal guy with just as many 'devils' as the next person. I guess it's time to start eating my words and finding out what those devils are. Thank you. Love you guys Anthony
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, There is a person I dislike. I use the word dislike because, if I say anything else this letter will turn into an HBO special. But, I really dislike this person. Ever since the moment I met this person, I have disliked them. Countless numbers of times have I tried to find a way to like this person but, I have failed on each occasion. So I try and stay away from this person but, often this person sneaks into my life, takes their shoes off and makes themself at home. I don't ask them to. But, yet they do. This person comes to my house and ruins a perfectly good day. This person visits me at work. Even sometimes when I am about to go to sleep this person comes and wakes me right up. I dislike stuff like that. I dislike people like that. Why is it when I am happy and life is going good, this person shows up and makes it miserable. I don't understand. That is when I think to myself and wonder. Maybe this person needs me. Maybe, they are lonely or maybe this person cannot live with out me. Maybe they need people like me to survive on this earth. Like humans and plants, who exchange oxogen and carbon dioxide, this person exchanges some sort of need to go on living with me. Maybe I get something in return. It is just hidden within my mind or I am handicapped by a natural immaturity and cannot comprehend it. Or maybe the person is here right now. All I know is this person will never go away. So I better look forward to a long life with them. Love you guys Antny P.S. Can you guess what this person's name is?
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, Let me supply the scenario and/or situation for you. This involves three subjects.....Guy-A, Guy-B, and Gal-A. We will call them Peter Paul and Mary for clearity upon the story in which I am about to tell. Let's say that Peter and Mary are dating. They have been together for about a month or so but, like any other teenage relationship they have already committed to giving their 'I love you''s and truely believe that they will be together for ever. Along come Paul. He knows vaguely of Peter and Mary and really has no opinion on the too......until that is....he meets Mary. Right from the start he is interested in her and becomes somewhat obsessed in a hidden way. He starts his day thinking of her, and ends it with a dream of her. Finally he admits to himself he is in love with her and has to do something about it. Peter and Mary are now going on their second month, having a few problems but, because of the early commitment they have made, find it impossible to break up. Paul has now become Mary's bestfriend. He hears all the drawbacks that Peter has and has become her main source of advice. Though he tries to hide it Paul let's his love for Mary heavily influence the advice he dispences to Mary and before the third month......Mary finally breaks up with Peter. Paul now, imitating the good friend that he is not, seeks to console Mary in hopes that she will realize he is the one for her. But, as fate has it (and it almost always works this way) Mary opens up Paul's chest, removes his heart and slices it into a million pieces by remarking the words, 'I only like you as a FRIEND.' It's funny, you might have been bored or thought this story was stupid but, if you look back (or forward) into each of your lives you played the part of atleast one of these characters....:o) Love you guys, Antny
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, So there is this teddy bear. He is a cute cuddly little teddy bear. Never does anything wrong. All he wants in life are three things... 1) He wants to be in the BEAR PARADE. The biggest Teddy Bear event in Teddy Bear History of course. He doesnt' care if he is in front of all the other bears or anything like that. He just wants to be in the parade for once in his teddy bear life. 2) He wants to just go out on one date...ONE DATE...with the girlie bear of his dreams. With out anything going wrong....especially HIS TEDDY BEAR CAR BREAKING DOWN!!!! 3) He wants a Mitsubishi 3000 GT. Now, This little cute, cuddly bunny...er...teddy bear is not a bad teddy bear. He enjoys life and overly gives himself for others (and not just others but, all the very bad little teddy bears out there.....shall we call them the 'Trailer Doods'). He continues to help others before himself and is satisfied with that for he thinks someday....he will be rewarded. Then... A flamming ball of Cow-Dung falls out of the sky and nails this smaller than the average teddy bear. Next thing you know he is up to his ears in Crap. Why does this happen? What did this cute little cuddly teddy bear deserve to have crap heaved at him. For that matter, who is heaving the crap? Finally what did this Crap-Heaver eat that makes his crap stink so badly. Little chunks of....anyway, I am off the subject. Look into your lives. Is there a teddy bear that helps you out all the time being crapped on? Do me a favor and offer him or her and umbrella. I wish someone would offer me one. I love you guys. Anthony Doria
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, I'm sorry I'm sorry I did it but, I couldn't help my self it snuck up on me really I was suprised myself I never even seen it coming I was just with you one day and to my suprise it popped out and grabbed me I didn't want it to happen I didn't want to complicate things I just wanted life to be normal but, no it had to change and it has changed hasn't it respect has been lost why? because the friendship was not strong enough to handle a blow like this we were too weak fragile there was no way of knowing that the rope would break but, now it has and I am powerless to stop it from sinking into the abyss the abyss of loneliness The abyss of where so many friendships that were never born will rest So many wonderful memories that will never be because I was selfish enough to go and do what I did At first I thought it would be good We could share our lives Hours of talking, chatting realization of how many things we have in common or how many we don't have in common but, find so interesting Our lives intertwine, music being the glue we simultanisously aid each other as if we are the medicine that each other have been looking for I am amazed at your beauty, and willingness to move on even all that has happened we learn from each other and care for one another and believe in one another because I believe in you I do but, maybe that's what got me in this mess You being so Godly So heavenly So unbelievable that my eyes grew bigger than my stomach I thought I could obtain this magic But, I can't And I see now what my attempt has done It's ruined any chance I had with you It's derailed any relationship that was on track It's wilted any flower that was meant to bloom I'm sorry I'm sorry for this For I know that there is no way that I can repay you That was written for all the girls out there that were mortified the day they found out, 'Anthony Doria has a crush on you.' Love you guys, Anthony Doria
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, This is a very special Dear Friends letter. It is kinda like a Mission Statement for the Dear Friends letter that I send out. See I just had maybe one of the best weekends in my life. I was kinda down in the dumps lately. Not for any previously mentioned problems. No my buddy Matt put it very elequently when he said, 'Life just sucks right now.' Of course I am no stranger to life 'sucking' nor trying to make the best of it when it does inhale wind rather rapidly but for some reason I am in a slump and can't seem to climb out. Then it happened. I check my email, (don't let this fool you usually it is empty) and I read the email that changed the down/depressing weekend into a exciting/Fun/NEPO weekend. I know what you are thinking: What could possibly change my mood from curl-up-in-a-ball Sad to dance-in-the-streets-naked Happy? My Boys cam to town. Actually not just my boys but my friends. The friends that love me regardless of where I am or what I do. The Friends that believe in me and are interested in my life. The Friends that don't let distance change feelings there friendship for me. These are the friendships that last ages. I haven't talked to these friends for at least 4 to 5 months and they showed up with smiles on their faces and a big fat pound of NEPO to throw in the mix. Now I don't want you guys to think I am getting soft (for those of you that know me you are probably saying, 'getting?'). But, there many things I am thankful for but, few deserve it as much as my friends. It's a sobering thought to know that when I am either Rich and Famous or a old poor bum scrapping for food there are two things that will always hold true: 1. I will never get a date with Kerri Maxwell. (believe me I've tried) 2. My friends will always love me. They will always be there. Quoting the next line from a movie. Creating the next Holiday. Learning the next N'SYNC dance move. Going to the next Blink 182 Concert. Driving to the next town for some peace and quiet. Shooting down the next Exxon Tiger. Helping a friend in a lonely situation (you know who you are). Recording the next Video skit. Needing advice on the next girl. The next guy. The next life. The next life decision. And the next moment that you wait earnestly to see your friends again. To experience the love and happiness that you can't help to endure. That's what I did this weekend. Oh and I got piss-drunk too. I love you guys and girls. Anthony Doria
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, Have you ever felt dead. Completely useless to the world. Stuck in this bubble of crap with no way out? The last month or so that was me in a nutshell (please....no nutshell jokes). I came to a dead end last night. A place where I had two choices.....Quit, go home and go to sleep....or bend over, take it up the tail pipe and assume leadership. I fortunately chose the second one. After a looo-haaa-aaaat of discussing with my self what the right move was....I knew what I needed to do. And that's where NEPO came back again my friends. If any of you ever said to yourself, 'What the hell is he talking about?' This email will explain NEPO in the best way I can. Here we go. Once I , again, chose the right path in life I was rewarded. This 'reward' may not seem large to anyone else but, to me it meant the world. (No Jennifer White didn't ask me out....she's in Chi-Town at Ozzfest....Good guess though.) It was one simple phone call. I didn't recieve anything. I didn't win or lose anything. I just got a phone call. But that one phone call made me break out of my shell that I have been living in for the last month. (Please.....no Ninja Turtle jokes) See I have a specific purpose for myself on this planet.....sometimes I stray away from it...that's when NEPO leaves. But, when I realize I have been drifted off the path and correct myself....NEPO returns. NEPO is the feeling you get when you laugh uncontrollably at a joke only you and your best friend would understand. NEPO is when you see that spark in your girlfriends smile. NEPO is when everything seems to work out....you don't know why. But, most of all NEPO is when you know your life is on the right track. Everyone has a NEPO, the only problem is....some people try to deny that it is there....But it is....I have proof. Love you guys... Anthony Doria
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, Our lives often revolve around one thing and one thing only. Ourselves. This is not a 'conceited' rant or far from it. It is more of just an analyzation that has occured to me over that last few days. Everyone on this earth has one thing in common. No matter what skin color. No matter what Gender. No matter what physical attribute anyone possesses, everyone's life revolves around themselves. Of course this is not a bad thing. I have been a long-time advicate of 'Being your own person' and 'living life the way you see fit' but, the one drawback everyone receives with controling their own lives is they have no power over the fate that is intended for another. Infact, short of Miss Cleo, no one even has the power to comprehend what might happen in someone else's life in a month. A week. One night. One moment. Although I understand the grave danger that would accompany this power, this weekend for a moment I wish I possessed it. I wish I knew the future. I wish I was allowed to change it. It was then that I realized that I was revolved around my own life. I was wrapped up in my plans. Constantly debating my next move. Because shockingly, at two in the morning, I received some news. The type of phone call that no wants wants to hear and then begs for it not to be real in duration. The phone call that you wish was just a freakish nightmare to remind you that your friend misses you. That you miss her. The phone call that gives you that feeling of emptyness in a split second. The phone call that above all else has the power to stop your self-revolved life dead in it's tracks. The phone call that humble reports that your friend has passed away. To a friend that showed great love. To a friend who was always the first one to reply to my emails. To a friend who always was there to listen to me bitch, complain, cry, whine, talk, gush, and goof. To a friend who heard me cry. To a friend who heard me laugh. To a friend who I could always go to no matter what the hour. Most importantly, to a friend who probably understood but more importantly accepted me more than a lot of people have ever even attempted. I love you and I will miss you Ruby. Now you are in Heaven....where the song 'Whip it' is forbidden :o) Anthony
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, Sometimes I wonder what I could have been. Where I could have gone. Who I could know. Everyday each and everyone of us is faced with certain life-changing decisions that may lead us on a new path. Each day we make those decisions and waltz through the next entrance of the maze that precedes us. Can you imagine for a moment though where you would be if you chose diferantly? If you would have went to college? If you would have said yes to that guy? Or if you would have said no? If you would have not gone along on the 'Greatest Road Trip Ever' to Pittsburgh? If, as you sat staring at each other smiling, you would have just leaned over and kissed her? If you would have waited a week to search for a diferant place to live? If you would have been born in Alaska? Hawaii? Los Angelos? Delaware? Ok not Delaware... (No offense to the lovely citizens of Delaware) But, you understand my point. What would you being doing right now if you would have chosen door #3 instead of two? If you would have taken the money? If you would have not told her that you liked her? If you did tell her? If you listened to your mother? If you quit when you said you were gonna. If you kept on going even though everyone told you to quit? If Kerri Maxwell actually did go out on a date with you! And when she did you didn't enjoy it? If you said hi to the guy next to you even though he scares you? If you didn't talk to the less-than reputable girl running the laundry mat. If you did forgive even though you had no reason to? If you went left instead of right. If you didn't play her the song your wrote. If you hit that car in front of you. If you read this email instead of deleting it? Would it be weird? I guess the question really is. Would you be happier? Or did you make the right decisions? That question can really be answered by another. Are you a person who regrets their decisions or the ones they ran from? Sometimes I don't really know who I am. I know who I want to be but if you sit and watch people now-a-days, you will realize that the world is made up of people fighting over who they are and who they want to be. Or at least I know that's how I am. I know what I want to be.....yet many subconcious moments I fall into who I am and am imprisoned with out knowing it. That's why I think it's good for myself and anyone else that can relate to this to stop and review your life for a moment. Take all the things that I think I am and size them up with my actual life. If it doesn't equal out then I am doing something wrong. Then go buy yourself some Little Debbies' as a reward. The one's with the chocolate chips are good. :o) Love you Guys, Anthony Doria
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1,466,700 |
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| 24 |
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner That is what I truely want to be For if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner Everyone would be in love with me.... I am glad I'm not an Oscar Meyer Weiner That is what I NEVER want to be Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner Everybody would try to eat me.... ---------------------------------------- Two kids...Two completely differant opinions of the same long, tasty item. Who is right? I mean is it better to be a Weiner or not? On one hand everyone wants you but, on the other hand the price to pay for popularity is being eaten! That itself brings up a good point. What if people couldn't eat you anymore. What if you were just not offering yourself up for mutilation? Would everyone want you anymore? Would they praise you with songs? Would they know that your cousin (bologna) has a first name? And if that's not enough would they go through the trouble of spelling it out? Or would they give up on you and visit a Ballpark instead? How quickly would someone change their attitude about your hotdoggity goodness just because you didn't comply with their every desire? Would they respect the fact that you don't want to be eaten. That you just want to stay in the package with your brothers and relax with the lunchmeat. Getting a tan off the flouresent light. Cruising the dairy section to pick up some chicks. Poking fun at the overweight folk from the Little Debbie section. Hanging out with your buddies from the frozen foods. Boy, those guys are crazy... Crazy? I was crazy once....they locked me in a room...I lived there...I died there....they buried me in the ground...worms live in the ground.. Worms? I hate worms...they make me crazy... Crazy? I was crazy once.... :o) I love you Weiners... Anthony Doria
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, I'll be honest. I have been trying to write a 'Dear Friends' letter all day long. I was trying and trying. I turned on my computer about 8 times and almost sent at least three letters. But, it all didn't seem right. I mean, it was a letter. It might have been filled with cooky humor. Thoughts on my life...or other peoples lives. One had a poem. One had a funny thought. One of them even involved a bucket of ice cubes and a nine iron. (What movie is that from?) I guess what it all came down to was, it wasn't real. It was like I was trying to do it not because it flowed out of me but, because I felt like I had to. I felt like it was my duty to write. Not just for all of you but, for myself as well. When you decide to become a writer in any form whether musical or not you get to a point sometimes where you think to yourself, 'What happens if I stop writing?' That is when you will stop writing. That is when your ability to capture feelings, emotions, thoughts and so on will be subsided. It's at that point when worrying so much about what you do affects what you do. Or at least that is how it is for me. Maybe you are differant. And if you are I simply say, 'Good for you.' I may come off sometimes like I am preaching to others on how to live life or how there idea of how to live life is wrong. But, I assure you all that those are not my intentions. They shouldn't ever be. I would never wish any of you to think you have to change your lives, thoughts, dreams or anything else that is important to you to make me or anyone else happy. See although it seems like I jumped themes in this 'Dear Friends' I really didn't. Writing is exactly like life in the way that once you start worrying about it....that is when it starts going bad. Once you start thinking, 'I hope I am doing this write.' that is when you end up messing up. Please don't confuse this with a question of Pride because that is not what I am talking about. What I am discussing is more of a question of Confidence. Being confident that you are you. And if nobody likes that then it's there loss not yours. If you the girl of your dreams doesn't want you (or is a Radio D.J. for the Point and you will never have the chance to marry her because she is famous...:o) then there is no need to sacrifice the things that make you happy. What is important is that you take bit of advice people give you.....but, you also take it with a grain of salt. I might be the wisest person in the world or I may be the dumbest. The trick is to not to depend on me or anyone else to give you the answers. They might not be right but, they may point you in the right direction. The direction to being happy in life. Anyway, I better go. Big Daddy's gonna be on soon and God strike me down now if I missed that. I love you guys. Anthony Doria
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1,466,700 |
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| 24 |
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Aries
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19,May,2003
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Dear Friends, Well, what can I say. It just wouldn't be a 'Dear Friends' if you my life didn't hand me out lemons by the barrel full. I am actually convinced that I live underneath a lemon tree and everytime a ray of sunshine shines thru to my little meaningless life another lemon magically grows in that spot. So what do I do? I mean truthfully, what do I do. Let's analyze the situation shall we. I can complain, cry, moan, weep, bitch, yell, scream, guilt, or anything else that would grab someone's attention. But, I don't want to do that. Infact, that is what this letter started out as. A cry for help...actually more than a cry for help. It was a cry to realize that I exist and moreover, it was an attempt to force you into being interested in me. See that is my problem. Selfishness mixed with Loneliness and you get Anthony. A guy who can't stand to sit in a house by himself all night long so he secretly draws up fake fate. Yup. Fake Fate. You know when you meet someone and you instantly know that you are gonna have a long-lasting relationship with them. Whether it be friendship, love or otherwise. There is always that feeling that you have. You know the one. Right before you go to bed. Where you know that this day is a special day in the story that is your life. If your life was a WB t.v. show this would be the season premier. Everyone knows the feeling that I am talking about because everyone has had it at one point or another. (In which has probably led you to your plans this Thursday.....no.....we won't mention what day that is) But, me? Oh how I long for that feeling. And oh how easy it is for me to fraudently create it. Against Fate. Fate says, 'this isn't supposed to happen.' But, I say, 'YES IT IS!' because I yearn to have that feeling so badly. I am human. I am not some weird crazy person who doesn't have feelings. I get lonely too. Just like everyone else. Whether this justifies my actions? I don't know. But, I do know that if life hand's you a lemon you should make lemonade.....but, sometimes.........I get sick of drinking lemonade. I want to drink what everyone else is drinking. I love you guys. Anthony Doria
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1,466,700 |
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| 24 |
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Aries
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31,May,2003
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Dear Friends, Well, I just got done watching an Arnold Swartzenegger (sp?) movie. You know the one where he is a burned-out cop/fireman/security guard who has a drinking problem because his family was killed so he goes on a phycotic rampage and destroys a hole bunch of stuff while in the same time completing the revenge on the peverbial bad guy who put him in his state in the first place? Yah that one... Anyway, it occured to me during my blight of entertainment that I hadn't wrote a Dear Friends, in a while so I made my way into Tom's room and started my adventure into the world wide web. You know it's weird living my life. Constantly analyzing every possible possibility to every questionable question that my mind ever conceivably conceives. I am serious, I sure all of you don't have enough time on your hands to ever wonder if we can measure distance with time...... ex: How far you? oh about 20 minutes away.... Then why is it weird to measure time with distance? ex: What time is it? oh about 30 miles? That's right....only I would think up something stupid like that. Well I won't lie. I might not think it up but, darn it. I will have the free time to sit and dwell upon it for three hours. More so, I will write email letters to all my friends about it causing the ever popular thought of 'what the hell is he talking about?' Yet this is me....and this is what I do. This is who I am. Who I will always be. Constantly analyzing stupid analogies that no one would have ever cared about if I hadn't brought it up. I feel like a ACT Test or something. I feel like I bring up questions and stories that make no sense yet give other people the compelling feeling to try and figure out. Yet once they do they probably will never really need the answer the rest of their lives. Is this true? Or am I just stuck analyzing myself again? My life? My choices? My dreams? My love? Or maybe the love I could have had? Or should have had? Or should have hadn't? I sense I have gone to far. That's what I get for looking to deep again. I don't think my brain can handle it. Love ya, antny
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1,466,700 |
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| 24 |
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Aries
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06,June,2003
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Dear Friends, I have been dwelling a lot lately and well, you know what that means. It means I have something blatently useless to talk about. Yet this week I think it's gonna be differant. This week I am gonna offer a piece of advice. Some food for the brain if you will. This week I will discuss and explain in great detail the (da da da da) ANTHONY'S THREE MONTH DATING RULE Let me supply a scenerio for you all and you can tell me if it sounds familiar. You meet someone, and right from the bat you have a strange comfortable and most important....equal attraction to one another. So you start the normal human dating ritual (flowers, candy, tonsil-hockey). After about one month this person (Or person's depending on which culture) seems like God's gift to you and you say to yourself 'This is the one!' as a college kid says when looking for a movie in Walmart's 5 dollar DVD section and he/she comes accross 'Shadow Warriors' starring Shannon Tweed, Appollo Creed from 'Rocky' and last but certainatly not least.......Terry 'Hulk' Hogan. Moving along, So, it is at this point when the first thought of that word that can be hell and heaven all in the same gravy dish. You know, the word with more Dr. Jeckal and Mr Hyde traits then the Colonel in the first 'American Ninja' Movie? (ok bad example) Of Course I am talking about love. Love Love Love. The only word we spend countless numbers of hours creating 'higher' standards than the new Snoop Doggy Dog Talk Show (if you know what I mean). Yet in the same instance, we are so quick to apply this word and all the meaning behind it into every little scarolle *(italion word that I don't know how to spell. I am not sure what it means except my grandpa use to call my girlfriends it) we meet in a bar and doesn't snubb us when we open up with our pick-up line we stole from Adam Sandler in Anger Management. (yah the 'exploding in my pants' one.......oh yah, I tried it.....heh heh) As I see I am getting off track I will make a sharp right and bring this letter back to that first month. The first month of dating. When everything is perfect. Now I want you to listen when I say this. The first month. IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULL@#%$&!!! Follow this scale and you will always have a clear and conscience head when dating. Month one = Courting Month. This is the month that your gal/guy is gonna try everything he/she can to make sure you like them. Go out of there way to do things. Buy presents. BE AWARE!!! This is not the actual person you are dating. This is merely Ted the salesman they have sent out to close the deal on you. Month two = Cancellation Month. This is a very important month. See initially this person you are dating roped you in but, you still have a 30-day risk free trial period. They know that at anytime during this month you can cancel your service so they have to take what ever you liked during month one and duplicate it during month two. Month three = This is where the evil doer will sink their claws in. They know they can hold the REAL them back for long so it's time to sign your life away. It's time to agree to the terms of the life contract. It's time to get you to say those incredible hulk words.....I LOVE YOU. Then they've got you. You stuck. You are in for life. What happens next is the real person you are dating comes out and it's no where near who you thought you were dating. But, you can't leave.....because you are in love. Sucker. There is hope though friends.....The next time you date someone. Wait three months before making any rash decisions. Fortunately even the evil-est of evil can only hold back their evil-ness for so long. A period of time before they can't take it anymore. That period.... Three months. Three months. Three months. This has been Anthony Doria......once again telling you something.....you probably already know. :o) Love you guys. antny
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1,466,700 |
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08,July,2003
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Dear Friends, I am cleaning. Now all of you...(especially my mother) can vouch for the fact that I don't clean very much. But what most of you don't know is when Anthony gets the sudden urge to clean it's because a question has been imposed on him. I boggling riddle that perplexes the intellectual inner thoughts and requires a large amount brain power to be resolved. For some odd reason I harness that power of the mind when I clean. My specialty.....Bathrooms. The problem is I have finished fighting off the green moldy monster in my shower us boys like to refer to as 'Mo Mo' like it is some sort of mascot for the Apartment, and yet I still have not come to that egnimatic conclusion that will forever put to rest my wandering heart. So I turn to you.....my friends. I turn to you with yet another confusing, fragmented collection of elaborate symbols and prefabricated metaphors that have fallen a few Natural Lights short of the 'Gramaticcally Correct' suitcase. (notice the mispelling) So here we go. I don't know if I have used this analagy before for the simple fact that it seems so familiar. Like a thought in the back of our minds that we never pay attention too. Think of a rose. How beautiful. The smell. The sight. The taste (if you are some sort of insect of course). What's funny about rose is as wonderful of a object it is. The minute you grab for it....it injures you. Yup. This rose....suprisingly has thorns. Now human society normally deems anything painful or harmful to yourself....bad. Yet a rose is recognized as a love momento. A token of one's feelings to another. Why is it a rose has this special power. This camoflaged stealth mode that makes us forget about the pain and suffering it might cause us and move on into the feelings and thoughts that this red flower may or may not delight us with. Because it is the truth. When you recieve a rose only one this is certain. It is not certain that you will feel safe. Nor comforted. Nor Kindness. Nor will you feel any feeling that you desire. There is a chance not one will be fulfilled. Nope. The only certainty about accepting a rose is that at some time you will be blinded by it's beauty and slowly run your hand down it's long stiff stem. Then...BAMM. That's when it gets you. So my question is this..... What about a rose makes possibility of getting hurt no more of a worry than Dave Mathews Band not putting on a good show every night? Is it because we are un-intellegent? (I think anthony is making up words again) Or is it because although we have all grown up and left behind the childish thoughts of fate and signs and symbols that might lead our way.....we all have a little kid deep down inside saying remember all that dreams and ideas I had? Maybe we believe that just this once that rose fulfill our desires. Maybe you have to endure pain to accept love. Maybe I have been looking at this all wrong. Or maybe I should clean some more.... Love you guys.. Antny
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Aries
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11,November,2003
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Dear Friends, You know that movie with that guy and that girl. They don't like each other in the begining. Heck they don't even know each other but, then certain things happen. Some call it luck. Others call it coincidence. Some people actually think that those instances were meant to be. You can always remember this movie because something always goes wrong and it looks like the two aren't gonna make it. Then it happens....Magically...Love fights through the mess and they come together at the end of the movie.....smiling......holding hands. He slides his fingers through her hair and gently leans her head to the side and moves in for the kiss. Blackness... Then the credits role. You know that movie? Well I am here to tell you what happens if that movie didn't stop there. If the story didn't end there. If the climax didn't occur. Because, well that's what real life is. In real life you can have love stories you just have to remember that the work doesn't ever end. Let's go back to our movie: The man (Let's call him Boris) probably was a simply guy. Didn't like to have to think very much. But, when he met his co-star (Noris {Bet you thought I was gonna say Natasha}) he noticed something about her that peaked his interest. She was confusing to all Hell! It's ok though because Boris loved challenges and was going to win her heart no matter what. So the entire movie Boris works hard to acheive his goal and in the end he finally does. Noris falls madly in love with him and they kiss. Now what? What happens now? Do you stay in that state of floating through the clouds? We are naive if we believe that garbage. Anyone that's been in any relationship knows that it's not all fun and games. It's not the finish line. The gun just went off. Boris didn't win. The only thing that happend at the end of that movie was Noris qualified him for the race. She subsituted him into the game. That game is going to last his entire life. He will be running that race for ever. The only way that out is to quit. Is to stop. Sure there is gonna be potholes along the way. It might rain. It might snow. It might hail. The devil might come up from the pits of hell and unleash terror upon the empty souls that embrace their little lives filled with idolotry and sin.......and I know if that happens two things will always hold true..... 1. Schools in Chicago will still be in session and more importantly It would be worth the terror because I....I mean..um..Boris....is simply in the race. And he is gonna run his hardest from now on. Love you guys. Papa D
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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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25,June,2004
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Dear Friends, There was this puppet. His name is really of no concern but just for this letter let's call him Willow (Speaking of Willow, watch Star Wars Episode one...the pod race scene....Just keep thinking 'Willow') Anyway, Willow wasn't always a puppet. Actually he was a little boy for a long time (no long nose or long-anything jokes coming....sorry). For some odd reason unlike his brother....we will call him 'P' because he is famous and we don't want to embarass him.....Willow wanted to be a puppet. He constantly searched the earth for a puppet master but to no avail. Finally one night, after praying to the puppet gods, he found what seemed to be the greatest puppet master he had ever layed eyes on. Immediately he let the puppet master string him up. He felt completely dependent on the puppet master (we'll name him James H.)(James had a lilttle assistant named Kurt)(he talked like a girl) Anyway, it's late so I will try to wrap this one up. The point of this story is that after a while Willow wanted a drink of mountain dew. He looked up at the can but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't move his arm. He asked the James the Puppet Master but, all the he did was ridicule Willow and tell him he shouldn't drink mountain dew cause it would make him imperfect (It was probably the Yellow #5). It was then that Willow realized that he had no control over his body anymore. No control over his actions. Even his thoughts. We was completely controlled by the puppet master. No dependency was worth the loss of the ability to choose how to live life....Even if the choices were not good. So currently Willow is mustering up the strength to grab the scissors next to the Mountain Dew can and cut the strings currently bounding him to the control the Evil Puppet Master. I guess Willow's brother was right all along. It's time to become a real live boy. Love you guys, Papa D
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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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27,June,2004
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Sonnet #2 Written by Anthony J Doria Only from a heavenly mind Could have come your creation Men of Earth could not find Enough beauty in this nation, This continent, this world, this universe To amass as close as yours And I bound, for better and for worse From the east coast to the west shores From the top to bottom of the world From every land, sea and air inbetween From the smile of every boy, sparkling eyes of every girl A heart grows larger for you inside me And if my heart someday exploded like a cannon There would be enough love to save the planet
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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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27,June,2004
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Sonnet #3 Written by Anthony J Doria A soothing promise made from a vision too true to end or to fade given from me, taken from you And if the sun will always rise and the moon always glow The truth be told through my eyes The truth you will always know It is said that beauty lies in the beholder's hand I feel it's my duty to indulge in the sight of you, so grand Yet forever, a promise made for two I promise forever, is where my love lies for you
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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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27,June,2004
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Sonnet #1 Written by Anthony J Doria Searching tirelessly for the capture of sleep My head lay rest yet so fast it spins I hear the song of a bird as the morning creeps And the sound of a heartbeat in the warm nigth winds Each beat profusely echo's in my head As if attempting to distract from my current need They remind me of the cold lonely feel of my bed Without you lying, curled up next to me I see nothing but black yet still can't fall To a place to dream of us together I stay in this world without you at all With harsh reality of not holding you again ever Yet if I had one breath left in my body to use I would undoubtedly spare it to say I love you
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1,466,700 |
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| 24 |
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Aries
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27,June,2004
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Busy Busy Bee Look at me Can you see What I see What I've seen What I saw What I mean Will it be very long all along am I wrong if I do write a song just for you Have I gone Long enough eight years it's been rough a few tears lot's of laughs in the end a best friend you appear Who would have seen that one coming talk every so often bout how we were young and dumb things we did, as I whispered sweet nothings You bought me stuffed elmo Will I ever forget? Hell no The canue trip to take snickers bars floating down the lake Never faked No lies a suprise in my eyes We were able to Keep This friendship An amazing feat No one can beat or give me a treat that is a close as sweet as you are too me A friend I can greet even though you are a leap of faith away even though I say you seem as close as day is to night Not far today or any other day or any other week any year I can seek because you are always in my heart where a best friend should be
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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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27,June,2004
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Never could I have imagined This to be so hard never could I have imagined Thought of peace to be so far Where you are Is where I long to be I have your eyes In my Radar It's just a short ride In my grey car In my mind I'll tell you your great, are You thinking of me? Never could I have imagined My night could be So far away from me Why can't I fall Asleep? Why is this concept so difficult for me? Why Haven't I found self-conscience relief? Why can't I move on? Why is your voice still so pretty to me? I hear you in my head During the day and in my dreams I fear I haven't been fed My alloted dose of all the things I wish we could be I wish I could free My Mind climb down From this tall green tree Both feet on the ground Head out of the clouds I say out loud Let me be endowed with a gift to forget How well you could fit Inside my arms In regards To my imagination Tearing me apart Never could I have imagined To let you go Man I wish I could Read you this poem
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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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27,June,2004
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Looking Back Again The Facts and then All of the snuggles and thick puddles of mud I want to put my coat over for you my friend And in this time it's safe to say I've never met a girl who looks this way Talks away Walks in ways Men Talk about The way you look today I always say 'I hope she never leaves my side,' 'Please Stay' But I wonder J, What our paths will bring us What attitudes will bring trust And comfort in life and self-esteem, and pride My eyes long to get lost in your eyes What a suprise I was given, Still livin A year ago today When you simply walked up my way And now I say I am happy today This day I will hug and cherish ok?
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
Arts
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Aries
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27,June,2004
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Hello my artistic friend christmas is coming again although our hugs did not last I hope our friendship will not pass I hope I can call you on the phone when your with people or home alone a few minutes we will chat about this or inevitably that Maybe we can see each other, for a tease I think we should go to chucky cheeze! We will laugh and shout and smile it will be fun for a while or we could sit and enlight each other; I never played guitar in the middle of the night for you, true, you never drew a cool picture for a fool with spelling problems who knew a girl in school but what to do? email Lady Boo? or mabye come visit her when she is working at club libby loo either way it's cruel the man apart from a friend that he misses makes me want to say boo-hoo as he fishes for a way to catch some time for her maybe I will make you a batch of cookies brown chocalate chip we'll dip them in a tall glass of milk then we will take a sip but oh this is all in my head and it's fed by the lonliness that's said you feel when your lying in bed I hate this place I hope this isn't a joke I hope you don't think I am messed up in the head like a coke after you shake it a few times then try to open it and spray it all over my face Don't mind me I just needed to write it takes the place of cheers, crying or when I am ready to fight It takes place of all those feelings bottled up when I feel like I have followed nothing instead of dreams and hopes and most importantly my heart so from start to end to be offended by my pen it's just an poem email to a friend I wanted to send
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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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27,June,2004
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I miss you I miss me and you I miss seeing you I miss all of the things We used to be and do Not just that past couple months Not the last fatal tough moments to deal with sad feelings I feal in my mind and my soul I really wish I didn't have to let you go I wish I could show you my whole heart and go no where cause you are a part of my spirit, my life my breath and my sight All I hear are the fights But what I see is a fright- ened little girl's face Entrapted in a case Locked by security Blocked with out a trace of light or of love It's my life I'd give up for you it's true I wish you could have knew The Anthony before he was compelled to do The thing that is So hard to forget I wish I could burn in Hell for this shit I wish I just had just a little more strength See my heart had been stabbed in the back with a steak Knife Over and over and over again By women and men and the ones I called friends but, what makes each day so hard to accept I made the biggest mistake as big mistakes could get I thought you were a scoundrel Trying to hurt me too I didn't know you still thought maybe I could be with you. What I thought was hate, mistrust and disception Was really dying love, from a sweet girl upset with the things I have done The Thoughts I have thought The love I have crushed The life I have sought Should've I gotten caught with a smack to the head Been left for dead on my back in my bed If it gives you a chance to love me again to be my soulmate to be my sweet friend Then I take it away with each tear that I type I give you my life to do what you like Treat it right And maybe I can get a little sleep at night No more day dreams of you saying You want to try it a third time You have realized your love story You don't want to settle the score e- ven with the pain in the past We will move forward and last Until the end of time I'll be yours You'll be mine Everything will be fine I'll bet a quarter, nickel and a dime Together we will reach 40, 50, seventy-two, ninety-eight Each day I will be rejoyed the day we decided not to wait And see if we could live from each other apart Ever since I met you, you gained control of my heart You breathed it life, You continue it's existance Without you Anthony Doria no longer fits in This world we live in The love you've given Keeps me alive when life looks grimmest All I can say, Please don't be finished Take a break from our relationship but, Please Please, don't quit it Don't give up on the greatest love story ever to be written Your a kitten and I'm a pup We have a lot of growing up to do so please don't give up Just take time to heal See how you feel I know the third time around Will be the charm and we will Understand why we met that one day Your ultimate beauty kept my silliness at bay What do you say? Could we just take some time off Let whatever pains heal Grow to a mature cat, an adult size dog. Instead of running into a relationship Try to take a small walk Down the beach I could reach For your hand As we talk Everyday things What happenness means We will gently explore Our Hearts and feelings We'll find our favorite restaurant We'll soon find our song But, best of all you might discover That you loved me all along
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1,466,700 |
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Aries
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08,July,2004
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seconds minutes leading into hours endless requsites only two towels for showers we have the power to last a time that no man be dowered No man be as fine as I be true after meeting with you the limited shine that limitlessly gleamed aside my cheek and my chin when I'll see you again? it's when I start in close my eyes invision I'll see my good Friend We will laugh and we'll grin we will soon begin this time all over again Because that's where you live in a small house in a township next to a green park in a land that lies herein a diminutive city where cats meow and dogs bark and this world as selfless it can be few are allowed for it exists only in my heart So that's where I'll keep you and the time that we've spent till the story of our friendship time feels to augment
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1,466,700 |
male
| 24 |
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Aries
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08,July,2004
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poop poop poop on a stoop poop is brown goop not good in pea soup If you ever took a scoop of poop out of a group of seven chicken coops let it linger let it droop then scooped another group of poop from a rock group, Jazz group or rap group it's probably good to snoop through the 23rd girl scout troop make sure you didn't get duped into scooping up poop cause if you did get duped into scooping up poop by the 23rd girl scout group eating gum, playing hoola hoop then wish on them croupe take a moment, regroup hop on a plane, cause it to make a ground loop maybe swoop down for some soup But not the brown soup with poop because you be right back where you started scooping the brown goop we call poop
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1,466,700 |
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Arts
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Aries
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05,August,2004
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Funny how it began You a female, I a man Scan a picture, put it up Two or three weeks I had good luck Of meeting you, tha'ts pretty cool Not too late and too soon Of all the room in my mind A spot for you I cannot hide Pride I take in writing you Somedays it's my favorite thing to do Your words filled with grace and truth Whatever I you make of me I undoubtedly make of you So Alas, a friendship that was born of suprise is seen as a gift when you look through my eyes And if you care to look just a little bit more my thoughts revealed for you to know for your beauty stands tall for me to adore though the physical sight of you, you do not show
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3,639,084 |
male
| 27 |
Banking
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Taurus
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28,June,2004
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time: 3pm location: office ================= wah! terribly sleepy now and no mood to work. start to understand why resigned staff have no mood to work in the last month.! also, i am so eager for the new laptop assign by new company. miss chu said i am so chu wo... ng! but, i really eager for it ah!
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3,639,084 |
male
| 27 |
Banking
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Taurus
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28,June,2004
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珠珠!
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3,639,084 |
male
| 27 |
Banking
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Taurus
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28,June,2004
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in yesterday course, it showed how to boot from CF and busybox. it is a very brief intro. only. let me explore more later! actually, i started feeling the course is too easy to me. references: urlLink busybox urlLink course content
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3,639,084 |
male
| 27 |
Banking
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Taurus
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28,June,2004
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i have resigned from my current company. a bit 'dont know how' feeling. anyway, quote a passage from my frd. i think he also copy from elsewhere. it should reflect my reason of resignation. I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
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3,639,084 |
male
| 27 |
Banking
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Taurus
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28,June,2004
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是嗎?真的完了嗎?
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3,639,084 |
male
| 27 |
Banking
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Taurus
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28,June,2004
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I found my japanese name is 松尾 Matsuo (tail of a pine tree) 雄大 Masahiro (big hero) . i got this translation by my chinese name in english from a webpage but i dont know how it do the translation. urlLink You may check out yours from this link!
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3,639,084 |
male
| 27 |
Banking
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Taurus
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28,June,2004
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I think, I really broke up with her... DON'T BREAK MY HEART ==================== 也許是我不懂的事太多 也許是我的錯 也許一切已是慢慢的錯過 也許不必再說 從未想過你我會這樣結束 心中沒有把握 (心中如此難過) 只是記得你我彼此的承諾 一次次的衝動 Don't Break My Heart 再次溫柔 不願 看到你那保持的沉默 獨自等待 默默承受 喜悅總是出現在我夢中 你所擁有的是你的身體 誘人的美麗 我所擁有的是我的記憶 美妙的感覺
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4,007,119 |
male
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indUnk
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Taurus
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30,July,2004
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Hm, this night was pretty boring. Started talking with my girlfriend and then with Dave. Then, my good friend Meagan Seacor came on and we had a very good conversation. The fun started late when Kay (my girlfriends name) gave me her friends screen name and we all started a chat. We all had lots of laughs talking and making fun of one another. Good times. I'll write some more later. Till then, have fun reading our past posts. Later.Peace.
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4,007,119 |
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indUnk
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Taurus
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29,July,2004
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My friend and I decided to try and start a 'band.' LOL. Anyways, we are currently thinking of songs to write up but we are too dumb to think of themes for ourselves. We aren't even sure if we are getting guitars yet but we hope so. If not, we gonna be very, VERY, mad! LOL. Later.Peace.
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4,007,119 |
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indUnk
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Taurus
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28,July,2004
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Today Dave and I went to the local beach and did we have fun or what. We were checking out ladies left and right...or rather Dave was and I was just keeping him company. We came up with 'codenames' for them all...(only 2 people) It was alot of fun. 'Potential' was probably the best looking one there but Dave was to scared to talk to them. O'well. Then he started pursuading me to join the High School football team but football isn't really my thing. We went back to his house after the beach and then we played some GameCube. Lots of fun there. Then we went to go look at Dave's 'guitar' that he's going to buy. He's just dreaming. LOL. Might right about something later. Later.Peace.
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4,007,119 |
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indUnk
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Taurus
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28,July,2004
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Today, I went to the local Mashantucket Pequot Museum to learn about some history of the tribe. It was fun and very...um....educational....I also made plans for me and my best friend to go to the beach tomorow and check out some hot chicas. I now have to go and um..do something. You can IM me at AIM (sepremier22). Later. Peace.
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4,007,119 |
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indUnk
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Taurus
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27,July,2004
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Today, I had the unfortunate pleasure of bowling for the first time. It started out ok, I came in third...and then the second game, I just sucked. But it was all fun. Nothing competitive. Then when we were leaving, we saw some old guys that looked like smurfs on the side of the road. We went back to my friends house and schooled some younger kids in basketball....sorta...all-in-all, it was a fun day I guess.
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4,007,119 |
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indUnk
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Taurus
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22,July,2004
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I have finnally decided to join the military when I graduate from High School. I havent decided which branch yet all I know is that I am going to join the service. I have my reasons and I might post them soon...just not right now or else you wont come back and visit again.
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4,007,119 |
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indUnk
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Taurus
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22,July,2004
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Hello and welcome to my blog. I will be adding things every day that I can. Have fun reading and enjoy it while it lasts!
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4,007,119 |
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indUnk
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Taurus
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13,August,2004
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Just got back from vacation in Cape Cod, Mass. It was a lot of fun. Heres the day by day report. Monday: Went to a park and did some hikes around a huge lake (4-5 miles). Then we spent about 30 minutes looking for a table to use for lunch. After that we went down to the beach down the road from where I visited my relatives. Not a lot of people at the beach but that was ok. Monday night around 8.45, I went for a long jog. Roughly a 4 mile run. Tuesday: Went to the sand dunes and ProvinceTown at the tip of Cape Cod. Took about an hour to get out there...then about 2 hours to get back because of traffic. Then we played some minature golf that was down the road that we were on. Saw plenty of hot chicas. Wednesday: Sat around and did nothing in the morning. Then went to go play some more minature golf. Then went down to the beach again and saw some more nice girls. Thurday: Went to this Heritage Muesum...saw some old cars from like the early 1900's. Saw some more hot senoritas. Went back to the house I was staying at and waited till we went out for dinner. Had some BBQ Ribs. Good Stuff. Then we went to this street fair on Main Street in the town we were in. Saw plenty of hot chicas. There must of been hundreds of chicas there. Lots to look at. Friday: Went shopping around. Bought some food for the long ride home. Bought a new hat and looked for some hot chicas. Then I spent the whole ride home sleeping...fun stuff. Over all, vacation was fun..and sometimes boring...and sometimes sad...but that's the way life is isn't it? I'll post some more some other time. Later.Peace.
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4,007,119 |
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indUnk
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Taurus
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07,August,2004
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This week I won't be able to post anything because I will be on vacation. If I find time, I will try to post but don't count on it. I am going to Cape Cod in Massachussetts. I will be back next Saturday. Yesterday, Friday, I went to the beach with Dave S. We were expecting big waves but they were practically flat. So, we basically passed a football around and practiced some. Fun running past Dave. Not fun getting tackled by him. Anyways, not a whole lot of girls for Dave to look at and judge. :P Got to go for now. Have a good day...or week...or whatever. Later.Peace.
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4,007,119 |
male
| 15 |
indUnk
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Taurus
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01,August,2004
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Hm...today, I went to Block Island (local island) and had some fun...sorta. It started out good, but then it turned bad. We rented bikes and started biking around the island. We got 3 miles out of the harbor, and my moms chain on her bike broke. So we walked 2 miles back to find a phone that worked. Then we got a replacement bike and started biking again. Then towards the end, me and my sister 'crashed'. We both got banged up but I think I got the worst of it. Then my dad got pissed off at me and started making a big scene. Then when we were waiting for the boat, it started pouring buckets out and we got soaked. But it was all together a good trip. Later.Peace.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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31,July,2004
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a dance of procrastination, a sunday morning sermon undone. first things first.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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13,August,2004
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urlLink David Gordon Green david gordon green is potentially my favorite director; i say potentially because i've only seen two of his films ( george washington and the illustrious all the real girls ). rumor had it that he was going to direct the film adaptation of the confederacy of dunces , starring, strangely enough, will ferrell. supposedly that's now fallen through. however, green has committed to directing the secret life of bees. i was only a lukewarm fan of the novel, but i have high hopes of what green can do with the material. his specialty is a particularly languorous version of the south; i'd love to see him wrestle with the plucky, quick-witted, and overtly feministy characters of sue monk kidd's creation.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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12,August,2004
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i don't know why there is extra space.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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11,August,2004
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wrote this awhile ago but it's (infortunately) still relevant: At the 2002 Academy Awards when Michael Moore won in the documentary category for Bowling for Columbine, his speech was quickly drowned out by the audiences’ jeers and the peppy music escalating from the orchestra pit. The reason for this uproar? That Moore used the word “fictitious” to describe the unfolding war in Iraq. In a similar episode a couple months later, Chris Hedges had to be escorted of the campus of Rockford College in Illinois by security guards after giving a provocative commencement speech about the ongoing war. [1] These incidents illustrate the public fury that meets those who question war and patriotic rhetoric during armed conflict. In his book, War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning , Chris Hedges explores the horrific phenomenon of war from the unique perspective of a former seminarian who became a war correspondent. The combination of Hedges’ years of firsthand experience in war zones and his capacity to grapple with the philosophical and cultural implications of war makes for a bold and cathartic book—one that challenges the reader to understand that whatever truth can be excavated from the mythological grandeur of war is truth that is painful, ugly, and far removed from conventional propaganda. Hedges stresses in the introduction that he is not immune to the intoxicating power of war. Rather, he writes from a position of repentance and even self-antipathy, likening his relationship with war to that of an addict to her preferred drug. He writes, “… There is a part of me that remains nostalgic for war’s simplicity and high, even as I cope with the scars it has left behind, mourn the deaths of those I worked with, and struggle with the bestiality I would have been better off not witnessing.” [2] Hedges’ pain is evident throughout the book, and occasionally elevates the prose to the level of diatribe. Yet Hedges’ honesty about his susceptibility to war’s grasp is fundamental to the book’s success. By refusing to blame systems without blaming self, Hedges establishes a humble credibility. The reader is more likely to trust this flawed writer—trust both his firsthand accounts and the meaning he makes of them. Hedges’ credibility is essential, as the majority of the book’s references are literary. Hedges primary motivation is to expose the disconnection between the reality and mythology of war. Culling from the war literature of such writers as Homer and Shakespeare, Hedges argues that war mythology “… can be formed only by denying the reality of war, by turning the lies, the manipulation, the inhumanness of war into the heroic ideal.” [3] As a war correspondent, Hedges has a great deal of primary experience of war. Yet he exposes the media’s complicity in perpetuating war mythology, arguing that “The blunders and senseless slaughter by our generals, the execution of prisoners and innocents, and the horror of wounds are rarely disclosed, at least during a mythic war, to the public.” [4] Hedges thus effectively demonstrates how perfectly sealed and protected the truth behind war can be. This element of Hedges’ argument is further substantiated in the chapter titled “The Destruction of Culture.” Culture is easily corrupted to accommodate both the war myth and the need to forget the war reality, as demonstrated by Hedges’ assessment of post-war Germany, where it was “as if the war was just some bad, horrible dream from which everyone had just awoken and no one wanted to discuss.” [5] The distortion of reality is welcome to those affected by war, for as long as one is protected from truth, one is protected from further pain. The climax of War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning is Hedges’ philosophical appraisal of the reasons behind our collective thirst for war. Borrowing from Freud’s psychological explanation of human nature, Hedges underscores the opposing forces that drive humanity: the calling to create and the drive to destroy, the inclination to love and the proclivity to kill. [6] In effect, Hedges offers to the reader the double-edged sword of realism, in which love is redemptive but war is inevitable. That Hedges quotes Reinhold Neibuhr in more than one instance in the book is telling. Hedges does not equate war’s inevitability with its morality; the culpability Hedges advocates is the culpability of varying shades of immorality. The difficulty with a book like Chris Hedges’ is its capacity to alienate those who most need to hear its message. Hedges is careful to differentiate soldiers fighting in mythic wars from the political authorities who sponsor mythic wars. Yet the public generally does not make this distinction, so the dismantling of patriotic propaganda could easily be likened to a lack of support for armed forces. The book could also easily be usurped by those on the progressive left. Hedges is quite apolitical in his critique; perhaps the greatest strength of the book is Hedges’ conviction that everyone—left or right, Serb or Croat, American or Afghani— participates in war mythology. “When you stop believing you stop going to war,” [7] Hedges states confidently. The first step in the process of ceasing to believe in the myth is to understand the myth. War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning is a book that makes evident that one man’s truth is more compelling than fifteen years’ worth of war’s myth. [1] Carrie Watters, “Speaker Disrupts RC Graduation.” Rockford Register Star, May 20, 2003. Obtained from urlLink http://www.rrstar.com/localnews/your_community/rockford/20030520-4814.shtml on September 26, 2003. [2] Chris Hedges, War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning (Anchor Books: New York, 2002), 5. [3] Ibid., 26. [4] Ibid., 22. [5] Ibid., 81. [6] Ibid., 158. [7] Ibid., 143.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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11,August,2004
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urlLink Paste Magazine :: Home just picked up the new paste magazine; it's improved a lot in quality. the magazine seems a little more polished in design and writing, and the cd selections are great. just heard rilo kiley for the first time... and the new tift merritt song indicates that her sophomore album will follow bramble rose well. paste has done really well with online music sales as well. they make some mistakes but are gracious and expedient in rectifying any sticky situations.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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10,August,2004
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i suppose it's sort of strange to review one song of an album. but the song, performed live, deserves considerable mention. the song is great on ohio (2003); painful on changes come (2004). the lyrics: Changes come Turn my world around I have my father's hand I have my mother's tongue I look for redemption in everyone I wanna wear your ring I have a song to sing It ain't over babe In fact it's just begun Changes come Turn my world around Changes come Bring the whole thing down I wanna have our baby S omedays I think that maybe This ol' world's too fucked up For any firstborn son There is all this untouched beauty The light the dark both running through me Is there still redemption for anyone Jesus come Turn the world around Lay my burden down Turn this world around Bring the whole thing down Bring it down the subtle shift from 'changes come' to 'jesus come' is chilling. it's almost as if the singer isn't completely sure she wants jesus to come; that even though she wants change, the enormity of the eschaton is a little too big. this song is begging for a frightening thing: the end of the world as we know it. given the context in which this song was written- in the wake of 9/11 and the cusp of a senseless war- the lyrics aren't all that extreme. it strikes me as the polar opposite of mark twain's war prayer, a satire of the twisted religiousity of patriotism. there's no assumption of righteousness, no false claim of god-on-our-side. just pure lamentation.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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08,August,2004
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somewhat disappointing. usually films that win for best screenplay (as t.b.i . did at cannes in 2003) are genuinely great films; this one is not. the characters seem a little too-roughly chiseled from overused cliches: the Prodigal Son, the Heroin Waif, the Emotionally Closed-Off Father. instead of having believable traits and idiosyncracies, the characters are held in thrall to what their respective types would say or do. nevertheless, there is some good stuff. the father and son are predictably set up as opposites, but their differences are compelling, rooted in tensions of ideological import (socialism vs. capitalism, etc.). it's fascinating to watch how these tensions manifest themselves in an ordinary yet painful situation, the experience of dying. the father has his radical compatriots and the son has his money, and neither can purchase more time. worth watching, despite its frustrating limitations.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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07,August,2004
|
my husband started a blog, too. the household has gone blogging nuts: urlLink clone my wife please
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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06,August,2004
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urlLink Welcome to Disciples.org the denomination of which i am a happy member. small, progressive, and friendly.
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4,100,455 |
female
| 24 |
Religion
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Cancer
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06,August,2004
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i've been meaning to buy a r. sexsmith album for a long time now, ever since i heard his version of 'ships go out' on the tom t. hall tribute. i bought blue boy used at the hollywood amoeba last weekend, and i've been listening to it at least twice a day since. the songs are spoonfuls of nearly-perfect pop; the lyrics are sweet, frank, and clever-but-not-too-clever. on the first track r.s. sounds a bit like rufus wainwright, but without the qualities that bug me about r.w. the saddest and most beautiful song on the disc is 'foolproof,' which employs trumpets reminiscent of sarah harmer's sophisticated instrumentations. r.s.'s vocals are stylish in an almost old-fashioned way, full of unexpected riffs and unscripted emotions. the last time i fell for an album so quickly was over four years ago at the kent state university bookstore, when i happened upon a little album called good dog bad dog and immediately knew that i'd found my favorite band. i've heard r.s.'s retriever is an excellent album as well, though i'm tempted to go back to his earlier work so as to not read the book backwards.
|
3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
28,June,2004
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I am not here
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
17,June,2004
|
June 15 is a day that holds a lot of meaning to me and a very special person about 4,000 miles away. I met him 6 years ago on June 15. I would say he was my first love. I thought I was going to marry him. He still thinks I might! He's wrong. And he knows it. hehe. He called me this morning to wish me a 'Happy Aniversary'. I think he's still cute though. On a less sappy note. I have three full days left here in Maine. I left the Island this morning watching my sister and nieces wave goodbye. It was so hard. I cried the entire boat ride back to the mainland. Thats all for now I don't want to stay in this mood. Have a great day to all!
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
17,June,2004
|
June 8th, 2004 Time is closing the gap between here and and being there. Here is not so scary. But being there is starting to make me crazy. Wonderful things I am going to miss about up here in Maine are: 1. My sister, MaryB, Nellie, Ed, Jack and Maggie 2. Cathy, Aubrey 3. My wonderful apartment 4. Giffords ice cream 5. The island 6. My alone time 7. The mall only being a mile down the road 8. Bagel Central 9. Late night Ground Round Trips 10.Boys PE Things I am NOT going to miss: 1. Pharmacology 2. Fatty, stinky, and stupid 3. Being on the third floor 4. my toilet 5. 4th street 6. Beal College 7. Ruth Livingston 8. Gas prices 9. The weather, Will MUD season ever end? 10.Losing erasers over dumb math probelms
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
17,June,2004
|
What a wonderful conversation I had with a new dear friend tonight. People come in and out of our lives for reasons sometimes we don't know. Sometimes they stay for awhile and sometimes it's forever. I am so lucky and blessed to be soon surrounded by these wonderful people. My cat and I were sitting here watching the Farewell To Ronald Reagan. Amazing man, he was. I can remember when the Berlin Wall came down. I can remember when we studied his speaches in Social Studies. There should be more men like Ronald Reagan. My cat wasn't around during his presidency. But I remember it well. Have a good day all. See you in Pennsylvania soon.
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
17,June,2004
|
'Peanuts I always thought Peanuts spoke more wisely than his years...now I know why after reading Charles Schultz Philosophy. The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read through and you’ll get the point. 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world. 2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners. 3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest. 4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. 5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award Winners for best actor and actress. 6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners. How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one: 1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school. 2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time. 3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile. 4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special. 5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with. 6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you. Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care. Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life. 'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.'
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
17,June,2004
|
A New Day So today is memorial day. I always think of this day as the beginning of summer festivities. Cookouts are one of my favorite things to do in the summer time. And as most know cookouts go hand-in-hand with memorial day. Not having much family or friends up here in Maine, I knew chances of having a cookout were slim. Actually the weather was the determining factor. It was such a beautiful day. I haven't seen one this good since about a year ago. I took my nieces for a nice long walk to a pond on the island(go figure). We played with turtles and frogs which is another one of my favorite things. hehe. The best thing about my nieces is that they are opposites. Nellie, the oldest, who is three now, is very timid and shy when it comes to new things and people. MaryBridget, whom I call MaryB, is almost two and NOT shy. She practically dove in the pond after the frog. Quite the experience for me today when all I wanted was a cookout! I swear I am not bitter. P.S. I didn't get my cookout!
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
17,June,2004
|
So here I am back where I started. I wish I knew what I was thinking. But sometimes I can’t even figure that out. Lately, though, writing in here has let me release a lot of emotions, feelings, and any other pent up frustrations I have been having. It’s funny, about a year ago; my entire journal entry would have been about a boy. And now, it’s about life, my life. No ones else’s life, just my own. I am back to the place that I still refer to as home. My sister and I ventured here with her two children. While we are on the subject of sister here are my thoughts. A sister is one whom waits just a little bit for you to catch up and join her in a few adventures in life before she starts her own life. A sister is someone you share things with and you aren’t afraid she is going to run back and tell you mother. I am drained today after a 6 hour conversation with my sister about well, something I don’t believe in. I listened to her. I heard her. But I can’t imagine leaving my life and my decisions up to someone who has met me 6 times in my life. So there I said it. We don’t believe the same thing, that’s ok. If I can keep an open mind for her shouldn’t she do the same in return. Lord, I am trying. I don’t believe in reincarnation. I don’t believe in psychics. I don’t believe someone can tell you that you are making the right decision because ultimately you are the only one who knows whether or not you are making the right decision.
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
28,July,2004
|
While we are on the subject of rain...will it ever stop? The past few days have been entertaining. Meeting new people. And having such a wonderful time. Good friends are hard to come by and I am blessed with so many...Another great evening tonight wantching GOOD looking cowboys ride bulls! Dang! I think I feel in love with hafl a dozen of them. I attended a rodeo tonight. and it was awesome. I am so tired now though that my sentences are running together. Can't wait for friday night boys and girls...saddle up your horses! ( I am so wierd) seriously!
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
26,July,2004
|
For the past week I have ben in Maine. I can't describe it. It was good and bad all wrapped into one. Good to see people bad to know that its not my home anymore. I guess maybe it never was. Maybe just a pit stop on my lifes journey. Either way it has left an impression on me. One i will never forget. Some people surprised me with their kindness, others didn't surprise me at all. Things left undone and unsaid before have now been said and done. I let go of the insucurities I had and just let life happen for a couple of days. It relieved A LOT of stress. Upon returning home this afternoon, it was raining. I love the rain. It feels wonderful on your skin. My brother has just bought a house and moved into it and my parents are still in Maine, so I came home to an emty house. A nice feeling after being with so many people over the last month. There are no sounds in the house and if I listen closely I can hear the rain. Its good to be back. Back to reality, where I know things work out. I am gonna miss the 'drinking games' and the 'late-night talks' or me and my bottle of pucker and you with your coke and rum. (if you are reading this...it's been fun.) yuk....I hate feeling this way. hehe
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
19,July,2004
|
For the first time, I felt the panic attack coming on. I refuse to let something like a panic attack stop me. So thats what I did, I let it happen and I went on about my business. My doctor says i am stressed beyond what I shoudl ever be. I told her to graduate from college, move 12 hours away, see you ex with his 'new' grilfriend, and start taking meds again and see if she is not a 'little' stressed. hehe. Oh and not find a single job! Beyond that I feel like My life is pretty dam good. I am eating lunch with a friend today. She is one of those friends who you know you'll be 90 with and have no teeth still laughing our butts off at the random things in life. I am also leaving for Maine on Wednesday. Just for a week or two...haha. just for a week. But I do miss it. I miss my girls...and my sister. of course my brother-in-law. And Cathy!!!!!!! and the ocean... so long fare well! Brownwyn
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
10,August,2004
|
I have a bad habit. Bitting my nails . It's nasty when you realy think about it. But nevermind that. Again, I am not sure why I am even writing in here. But I am. My job search is becoming almost unbearable. I didn't really expect it to be this hard. I have applied to a zillion jobs through Guthrie. But nothing yet. Jared told me about a job opening in Wellsboro. And I am greatful. I applied and took them my resume. I am just not sure what I want to do yet. I am still contemplating going back to school for radiology or teaching at Mansfield. But I am not sure. I really wish someone would tell me what to do. Haha. oh well. Tomorrow night we are all going to the BearAss(sp) for wings. And then there is a wonderful metor Shower. The August ones are always awesome. anyways...I am being patient.
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
09,August,2004
|
The title is real creative, huh? Blogs are weird. I don't even know why I have one. Spent the weekend with friends. It was cool. Done.
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3,667,380 |
female
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Libra
|
02,August,2004
|
So tomorrow is my dad's 54th birthday! I know I can hardly believe it myself. My mom is away at old ladies camp . Something she has done since I was 2. So a good 20 years she has been going and she is always away for my dads BD. Usually my brothers and I got him balloons and a cake and took it to his office. But I don't know what i am gonna do this year. I know one thing I am gonna make it special. He is an awesome guy. This year since my mom is away at camp and my older brother just moved out, its just me and my dad in the evening. We actually watched TV tonight...together. It was fun. Wednesday is Joy's Birthday. She will be 24. Amazing how time flies. we have known each other for 9 years. Another dear friend of mine Jamie killgore has a birthday on the 8th and she will be 23. I haven't seen her in 4 years. we met In Colorado at a Ranch that I worked on. Thats all for today.....weird entry!!!!
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4,215,273 |
female
| 25 |
indUnk
|
Cancer
|
19,August,2004
|
You haven't vividly lived unless you have experienced being a woman. What is it in our genetic make-up that makes us so crazy? There is no middle of the road emotions... it's either exhilaratingly high or drudging through hell low. It leaves me with the endless task of trying to find that emotional middle ground call peace & serenity. Is there really a woman who possess a type B personality? It's a curious wonder of how women tend to live longer than men... It makes no sense considering how much energy women use to 'feel.' In my rough estimate, my fuse will blow out maybe in another decade. What exactly is our secret? On the side note, I think my fairy godmother is still alive. I hope she is not pissed at me.
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4,215,273 |
female
| 25 |
indUnk
|
Cancer
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16,August,2004
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We don't really stop asking the darn question of why we're here on earth... what purpose we serve, if any? Everyone is really innately angry, their lives are fubar, the bottomline of everyone's life is just very sad. Are we already in hell? Is this hell? Are we in it suffering already? Why exactly are we here? Craigslist's Rant and Rave section is the highlight of humanity at its best. Lately, there has been this huge discussion (and I am not using the word discussion in any means to denote a mature discussion,) about a women who is undecided on whether or not to tell the wife of this married man she has been having an affair with for five years that has recently ended. Responses ranged from guilty cheating men swearing at her at how bad of an idea that would be, to self righteous people who are just mad at her for having an affair with the married man, to people who are psychoanalytically angry with her and told her that if she was really trying to do the right thing, she would have told her earlier on and not after 5 years and after they have recently ended this nonsense... and the only reason why she would want to say anything now is because she really wants him back. Then there are posts of these angry NYC men wanting to know why NYC women are such high maintenance bitches, and why they can't find a nice girl to settle down with even if their lives depend on it. Well, I know for a fact that it isn't just NYC... it's everywhere in the world. Recently, my ex of 5+ years told me that he is having sexual feelings for this woman at his work who is married, and she seems interested in entertaining the idea of having a physical affair. I told him... what the fuck is the damn point? Sure, you'll have a short term gain, but this shit will never work out in the long run, and people usually come out superbly FUCKED at the end (and not in a good sense.) It is ironic coming from my ex who has recently been divorced with his wife of less than 6 months. She cheated on him with this 'older' guy in California and ended up moving there before the divorce finalized. Am I right to conclude that people don't strive to learn from mistakes, but they'd rather fuck up their lives more afterwards because their lives are fucked up anyway, so why try?
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4,215,273 |
female
| 25 |
indUnk
|
Cancer
|
15,August,2004
|
We're short on cash and we need to head down to NYC to meet one of my clients. I could not postpone it any longer because I have already done so last week, and it would just look really bad on my part. I am not unreliable... unfortunate circumstances just come upon me a little TOO often. Well, at least I think I am getting very much used to handling things in unfortunate circumstances, in that I have found a more leisurely way of getting to NYC... and probably much cheaper too. Yes, I am still very proud of myself for suggesting that we drive to White Plains first then take the MTA down to NYC to avoid the toll and the bridge traffic. Very proud indeed. So much for wanting to hate people for the rest of my life. Jill came and bought a box of brownies for us. Sweet, moist, decadent brownies that took away a crap load of cynicism of my believing in only the existance of evils in this world. That's all it takes to buy me over to the good side... it's shamefully pathetic. I made a new friend today... a sweet, optimistic girl with a dream. I want to be like her and believe in my dreams again. I want to believe that miracles do happen... well, so much for that since I have already killed off my fairy godmother yesterday with a hit and run 'accident.' It would be a 'real' miracle if she comes back to life... and not hold a grudge.
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4,215,273 |
female
| 25 |
indUnk
|
Cancer
|
14,August,2004
|
It is so hard, especially for me, to find that balance... or that illusion of balance in my mind to keep myself happy. Once I finally did... and for a while too... life decides to hit a home run somewhere, smashes my window, and tips my scale. It feels as if the ceiling caved in again, dripping dirty water all over the floor filled with soggy foam. This time, instead of having to emotionally manipulate someone to stay and help me clean up the mess, there was someone there willingly and supportively helping me gather up the shattered pieces of my life. Last night, as I sat down to do the math of it all, I realized... unlike all the times before, this time nothing was ever broken... nothing, except for me.
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4,215,273 |
female
| 25 |
indUnk
|
Cancer
|
13,August,2004
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Today is just another one of those drabby days. Gray skies, emotional calm due to my physical exhaustion after an anxiety storm, and now I am too tired to suspect and dislike people. I have never deliberately sit at the subway station and watch people go about their daily lives... although, I feel like if I was in NYC, today would be a good day to do it. I feel so unmotivated to do anything remotely useful right now. At this moment in time, my only wish is for me to return to my usual self before this whole crazy interruption has rudely intruded my life. Can events in one's life be totally and utterly pointless? Yes, it seems that by my watching really bad movies would confirmed the fact that the total and utter waste of time is part of the natural processes of life. This entry, like today, and many segments of the wasted time of my life, is completely... useless.
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4,215,273 |
female
| 25 |
indUnk
|
Cancer
|
12,August,2004
|
One day, life seems just fine... in fact, it seems a little better than fine, it is great. If it wasn't for those days when little great things happen, I may not even believe in the reality of those days at all. Then comes the other days when everything becomes chaos... everything that isn't meant to be perceived as chaos becomes chaos. Life takes on a 'life of its own,' and it created for itself... the illusions of melodrama that feels very real. Your mind is a very powerful thing. It controls you! The very existance of any traces of happiness can be wiped out if your mind decides that... I am not going to be happy today. Well, today is one of those days... this week is one of those weeks when people became 'enenmies.' My mind decides to read between the line to everything anyone can ever say... and it has came to a conclusion: People are selfishly evil. They all suck. Period. Why are people so happy about their meaningless little lives anyway? There is nothing to be happy about. No one will be happy about it with you or for you. People wish other people to fail so that they can come out looking like a winner. They may not be, but at least they'd seem that way. They want the attention. All of it. If you were to disappear off of the face of this earth, they will not miss you. The world is about them. If they are innately not happy... they won't tell you because they want you to think that everything about them and their pathetic little lives are just wonderful. They think that real emotions are signs of weaknesses, and real meanings to life derived from those real emotions are what makes them vulnerable to the world, so they should all be avoided. Well, have a nice fake life, everyone. Maybe they will be happy all together not thinking of the fact that after the party is over, their life will return to the inevitable humdrum that it has always been. Isn't life a bitch? I am mentally & emotionally unstable. Wow! Really? What makes anyone think that? What makes anyone think that I may not be the only sane person in this world?
|
3,873,815 |
male
| 25 |
Technology
|
Gemini
|
20,July,2004
|
I'm on a crappy NTL tv package, no great shame in admiting this. I have this package because I refuse to buy the next package up for fifty quid just so I can watch an extra 10 channels. However, we do have MTV, which I though would be quite good as I do have a passing interest in some music (mostly classic rock and metal). However, i turn it on and it's a show called CRIBS. It's 'Throught the Keyhole' without the guesswork basically, and the person taking you on a tour is the owner of the house. Two people who don't exist as far as I knew, who are somehow famous, except no-one knows who they are. Next up 'Making the video', pretty self explanitory. Up next, MTV News, reporting about people who are not yet famous, and people we thought had died years ago. Next, More CRIBS, followed by 'Newlyweds, the series.' Big brother for the famous. For over seven hours i flicked back and forth hoping to find the one thing playing I got the channel for, Music! There was none to be had. I checked the TV listing on the net, and lo and behold, Music was to be played at 8am the following day. I double, and triple checked the listing, with no change. There was music on at 10pm that day, right in the middle of sky one's more bearable shows. I decided to try the 10pm music show, only to be appaled at the low quality of the actual music. Techno-club remix hour, followed by 'The Osbournes'. Two hours of music a day on a music TV channel. Un-shagging-believable! So now I am forced to find some way of getting VH-1 and VH-1 classic back. I hadn't actually watched MTV in over a year, so i didn't know what had happened, but it's all been religated to it's spin-off channels and the prime channel is nothing more than some shallow, pop-culture, trash pile. I mean come on, who realy want's to know what the contents of Julian Markhursts bread bin are? And more to the point, who the fuck is she? Anyone? Even MTV news has gone to the dogs. It used to bring tour-dates, cancelations, new gigs and music releases. Now? Madonna has stubbed her toe, and will be cancelling her european tour, also, Britney has a new man in her life! For twenty minutes, whilst tour information is religated to the website now, unless it's by someone realy populare, like Christina Agulera's body, plus whatever outfit she's wearing this minite. Have people become that shallow and vain now? Please, surely the human race hasen't devolved that much in two years. All the good stuff in now on channels costing almost twenty pounds a month for the 2 channels, which doesn't seem fair somehow. But then life isn't fair is it. Rest in peace MTV's soul, for the corporate trash have forever buried you.
|
3,873,815 |
male
| 25 |
Technology
|
Gemini
|
12,July,2004
|
Imagine it's the twenty first century, mobile technology, cable and satelite communications, computer networks spreading across continents, and so forth. I can talk to a complete asshole stranger across the world and tell him why his head is so attracted to his own rectum after the comment 'But she's only a woman so her comment doesn't count!' and chat to a friend who i've not seen in almost 20 months (as he's in china) and even drop a few e-mails to a mate traveling across europe. Imagine this upotia, this communication hevan. What could possoble ruin it? Try talking to someone in the same town as you using the same technologies as you would communicate to people around the globe, and you hit a bloody brick wall. This is the weeks litany of hate, 'Fucking Phones!' I sent 16 sms messages to a pretty good mate of mine, sent him 3 e-mails and 5 message minders. Result, he got 1 of them that i know about (received a delivery note) and no reply. Sent 6 sms messages and an e-mail to another friend asking where we were meeting, result, we all stayed at home waiting for contact. The broadband is working and the mobile is on, so why can no-body be reached? The answere came as rather a shock. Appartently, the sms service in my town is prone to outages during and after storms. We had a storm about a fortnight ago, and they still havent sorted it? So what about the e-mails? Due to technical difficulties by my e-mail provider, messages will be held in a que until the server has been upgraded. Expected to be finnished on the 21st july. Thats over a fortnight away, and they started the work with out informing anyone. Inspired internet management. So what about the home phone option, surely someone would have answered? Nope! I've rang various people over the last week, and there all busy. doing something/one else and can't come to the phone, or are not there. And yet i can get in contact with someone on the other side of the planet. Does this make sence? Personally, i'm a little pissed with all this, and the future loks to be even worse. Contract renual time is coming up on mobiles soon and thats when numbers usually change too. Ever get that deep dark sence of forboding?
|
3,873,815 |
male
| 25 |
Technology
|
Gemini
|
08,July,2004
|
Well, need something a bit profound to start this Blog off so, here we go! Manchester, city of Lancashire, great hub of the north. Shithole of england. I went today to pick up some gear for paintball, I needed some equipment to fix my gun and thought that the best place for it was in Manchester, as it's just down the road. HA! Mite as well ordered the damn stuff online, but i wanted to question someone about the gear I was purchasing. So we set off, and spent two hours being bounced around the bloody city becasue a major roadworks was in place and had diverted the traffic almost 10 miles in both directions. And here's another little kicker... Manchester has very few main roads! Yup, you read that right, it's mad up of THOUSANDS of little streets and alleyways. And were does all the traffic have to go? Down all these little streets because someone in the council decided that mid summer, after the biggest storm in the last 5 years has hit, is the best time to dig up all 7 main arteries to the city for maintenance and widening. Bloody inspired! How about building more roads through the goddamn eyesore first! They could start by moving residents out of 3 main areas through the inner city, as 90% of the areas are vacant, and free up the damn space for roads and new industry lots. I mean come on, i passed 3 industrial estates that were vacant and falling to bits, yet the council wont level them as its (and i quote) 'Merely a shift in the ecomomic balance of the country. Soon the balance will teeter back and industry will pour back into the city.' well thats all fine and good, but those industrial estates have been abandoned since before I was born! Somehow, I don't think they'll be filled any time soon. Worse still, we finally get there, and the buggers have moved about 10 miles closer to the city centre. Seems that no-one could get to them, so they moved last saturday, and hadn't bothered mentioning this when I phoned them on the Friday. Anyone think someone was taking the piss a bit? Anyway, have found another place to get the equipment, so i'm sodding manchester off as a source, and hope never to set foot in that cesspit again. At least till the next time. But today has been an eye-opener, if nothing else. City planners have alot to answer for here in the north, especially when it comes to real-estate. So while the city smothers itself in it's own car fumes, it's residents can sleep easy knowing that 50 year old, none existant industry has a home withing it's city limits.
|
3,873,815 |
male
| 25 |
Technology
|
Gemini
|
14,August,2004
|
Well, lets see, where to begin. A few weeks ago, my mum asked me about travelback to the UK for a little trip, only a week, before going back to Ireland. Fair enough, i have no problems with this, although i wish there was more room here so she could bring my grandad as well, but money is tight as always and there's not enough room. So, I make arrangements, plan things and all that. Wednesday comes roud, and I receive a phone call, would I mind coming round this weekend and fix the modem, my brother will bring the parts round and I can take the ferry to see her. This is a bloody 1,200 mile round trip, to fix a modem and stay for 2 nights. I was going to argue the point, but was told that if they went to the local computer guy he was charging about 90 euro's for the fixing of the modem. Fuck that, they can pay for my bloody ticket and i'd go over myself and fix it. Things have gonna bad there since my boss closed his doors to business (12 grand still owed to him, and local busines'es not paying there bills on time for 10 years. He's had enough and left). He WAS the local computer guy, and charged quite cheaply for what we did. But some people still want quality service for free, theiving bastards, and now we have a bloody con man running there IT. Well, what could i do, my mum cancelled her trip, and we made plans for me to go over there. Here's why it pissed me off! Wednesday, get message, have to go upto the post office and collect the money for the ticket. Get to post office, the picture id i presented wasn't enough. It was my provisional licence, the same shagging licence they processed for me a week before. An hour waiting for the bus (again) meant thet once I got home, it would be way to late to return and colect it. Whilst I was waiting for the phone call (that arrived at 4pm when I rang them), I stepped into a local travel agent to ask about tickets and so forth, most helpful, or so I thought. Thursday, Finally get the money order (Long que, glass walls, no air conditioning, Very hot day), I trooped down to the travel agents and asked to book the ticket. 'What package would you like?' Package? What were they on about! I made further enquieries and found out they dont make National Express/Euro Lines bookings anymore. They do the National Express/Eurolines package bus tours! I specifically asked the airhead bloody agent about the ticket types they did and she told me, right to my face, that they booked them. Not 20 hours have passed since this exchange, and now they dont according to the three of they that I asked! Fucking wonderful. I had to make a 6 mile trip into manchester to book the ticket with national express themselves. I go home rather pissed off as I know that after 2 pm, getting a bus into manchester is an impossibility. Well, not without killing someone it isn't. Friday, last day to book for the weekend. I get a lift off my dad (Look, just cos I can learn how to drive doesn't mean im confident to drive into Manchester. Think New York city with only 1 lane in either direction), and in we go. Twelv narrow misses and 1 padestrian almost mounted to the bonnet (wanker walked right out into heavy traffic that was moving) and we get to National Express. I march into the que, get told I pushed in front of someone (she should have been talking on her cell phone and payed attention to the fact she was 6 feet from the nearest person) and managed to get to the counter in under 2 minutes (they like to get you out of there sight, wonderful system). I get asked wher i'm going, what the specific destination is, what type of travel blah blah blah. All goes into the computer, which is linked to Eurolines and Bus Eiran (Irish Busses). The destination i selected does not exist. We did a search for M, and down they scroll. Not there, id have to get off in Limerick and board in Limerick, even though the place i want is 2 hours travel back up north (Limerick being in the far south), Fuck that! I didn't argue the point, I just got it booked for Limerick and that was that. The drivers wont give a shit, as long as I disembard and board somewhere. Finally, after a week of stress, it's done and I got home, 20 car accident averted and 2 pedestrains still alive (the return trip was frought with pillocks as well). Got a new case for my pc, got a processor on order, and some new ram (This pc is 4 years old, and was built from cheap parts. The Motherboard was replaced after christmas, so this is just a natural progresion.) thats due soon. All is well, and it will be nice to see my Mum and Grandad again. I do miss em, and it's a pian that I have to do all sorts of stupid things just to go see them. Whats next, sacrific a chicken to some pagan god before you can book at National Express? I remember not too lang back it took a quick trip into a trvel agents to sort all this out at once, but thats now a myth, ever since Mr Turban decided to wage war on the west. I'm suprised that haven hit China or Korea, places that needs that type of shake up..... makes me wonder sometimes, it realy does. I travel on Monday, and am back Thursday. If all goes well. CoH Update: Hagan, my magic healer/electrical caster is now almost lvl 20 (yay). Took some doing seems how my BroadBand has been going offline for long periods. Were getting a free upgrade, as they now have enough money to update the system, that and they got 1 million customers now. So when maintenance starts, the lines go down. Thi sis going to go on for the next 4 weeks were told, although work has progressed well. Super Shooter, a mate of mine in the game is also coming along nicely, he hit lvl 19 yesterday, and may hit lvl 20 about the same time as me, hopefully tomorrow. Were working hard at this as were trying to get to Hero status (lvl 20+) as we can then get capes (soon). Also means we can get 2 uniforms, something they add as a progression status, which can be fun in it's own way. You can also add more to your back story if you wish, as well as a journal function (look, it's a roleplay game, these things are important). The only problem is the super group i'm in. I like the group, but I apear to be the only person on during daylight (na dsome night time) hours, even at weekends. This is annoying as i wanted to add some other players to the group, and I cant do it (the boos has been offline all week). Gonna try tonight and see if I can catch him on, try and get the admin settings sorted out. L8r Guys.
|
3,873,815 |
male
| 25 |
Technology
|
Gemini
|
07,August,2004
|
Well, whats new with the misserable sod this wee then? Suprisingly, not much...... until last night that is. Went to see I, Robot as i'm an Azimov fan I decided that it might not suck and actually be worthy of the mans vision. It is! Will Smiths overacting was actually needed for some of the bit's in the film (not giving anythig away, just go watch it). The backdrop was spectaculare, the visuals stunning and the story, well, i'm very suprised someone could actually pull of an Azimov based story without his help, him being dead and all. It's well thought out and planned, and it's a compelling storyline, it comes hightly recomended. So, after watching such and excellent film (The last one i saw at the cinema being Charlies Angels 2, what a pill of shit!) what could possobly put me in such a miserable fucking mood? Well, i had to take the bus there (5 passed by, all full) and it took me 30 mins of waiting till i finally got a ride. But on the way back, things were going smoothly, until i got to the town centre. I had to transfere to another bus, and i could be at home inside fifteen minutes. A half an hour later, me and twelve other people were still waiting for the damn thing to arrive. Considering that there should be one every 5 minutes, it was begining to ruin my day. Almost an hour later, an alternative bus pulls up (goes NEAR to were i live) and i decide to catch that one and get home with a littl bit of a walk involved. So, just t reiterate, 30 minutes spent waiting for a bus earlier in the day. An hour in the evening, and it's not over yet. We have areas of the town which are heavy traffic zones so no pedestrians are allowed to walk down them (too many accidents and a few deaths prompted this) and the bus is in the middle of one when it suddenly looses power. We broke down. And we couldn't get off either, as it was rush hour and we were boxed in. We had to wait almost an hour till a replacement bus arrived, and then had to transfere whilst the police halted traffic. Un-fucking-real. I'm now traveling home on the SHORTEST route and it's taking me 2 hours. If i'd known, i'd have walked, it would have only taken me 30 minutes. It's now 2 and a half hours wasted traveling in humid heats on a vehicle thats mostly glass. Yeah, I was just pissing peachy. Bought a chippy meal (for our none english readers, I ordered takeaway food), and fucked off home to eat it. Three fourteen year old girls tried soliciting me (thats a first, i can tell you) and I was told I was the scum of the earth by a passing drunk. Considering all this, i should have stayed at the cinema and watched Garfield. Instead, i decided to wait till monday to do that (yeah, like i got anything better to do). In other news, I started playing City of Heros (CoH) a few weeks ago, and have decided to make my primary character my healer, called Hagan. Been tricky trying to figure out what character to go for, but i decided to settle with him fr 2 reasons. 1) It's a support class, and i like playing them. 2) Healers tend to get more respect off of other players, and less harrasment (lets face it, would you piss you doctor off whilst you bleeding all over the floor?). The bad side is your either always in demand, or you get everyone trying to get you into there supergroup. I recently found out that no-one likes playing them, as they have shit defencive and offencive capabilities, and you have to spend so much on them to keep them safe. Also, going solo is not a good idea. Still, i got some friends who have got a Super Group up and running so ill join them, and carry on as normal, see where it all takes me. Updates soon.
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
16,July,2004
|
My mom sent me an email the other day that really made me think hard and long about my life. In a nutshell, the email said: Someone will always be prettier, smarter, sexier, and live in a bigger house, their children will do better in school and their husband will fix more things around the house. But, you should let these things go, because even the prettiest woman can have hell in her heart, the most popular woman at work may be unable to have children, the richest woman may be lonely. Basically, we need to love ourselves for what we are. We need to use the talents that we possess, and not regret what we don’t have. I read an article on another Blog this morning about how the doctors are so quick to say what we should weigh and what body fat percent we should have… you shouldn’t feel bad if you are 20 pounds heavier than what the chart says… it is better that you have lose the weight and gotten that close, than worry about whether or not you are ideal. God made us different for a good reason. He did it so he could tell us apart. We shouldn’t spend our energy comparing ourselves and what we have to other people. Be thankful you are alive. Be thankful you have a home. Be thankful you are able to have children. Be thankful. I think the world nowadays focuses too much on how people look and what people weigh. The most important thing we are forgetting is it is important to be healthy! If you feel healthy at 170, your numbers are where they are supposed to be… don’t kill yourself trying to get within your “ideal range” of weight. I bet most of the doctor’s who came up with that stupid chart don’t fall within it. Let it go. Get healthy. That’s the important thing.
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
12,July,2004
|
How come I have such low self-esteem? I used to care less what people thought of me or how I looked. Then, after I lost all the weight and then gained it back... I have horrible self esteem. I feel like such a loser. I look in the mirror and all I can see is my fat butt or my fat belly or everything else that I hate. I hate myself. My husband tells me he loves me for what's on the inside... but, why would he? On the outside I am huge. I feel like such a failure when I look at all my pictures from after I lost the weight. I keep trying to motivate myself by telling myself that I want to be healthy to have a baby. It doesn't help.
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
07,July,2004
|
I don't have any self esteem. I don't think I have ever had any. Oh, I have tried the stand-in-front-of-the-mirror-and-tell-yourself-you-love-you therapy. It didn't help. I feel like I am never good enough for anyone. For example, my husband told me tonight that I am overly critical. And, I am. But, my parents and my grandparents are too. It's no wonder I am. Anyways, it got me thinking about some of the things that have hurt me the worst throughout life... one thing that sticks out in my mind is when I went from a size 22 to a size 16 and bought a pair of hip hugger bell bottoms... I wore them to show my dad at work, proud that I had gotten that far. His comment to me was, 'You still have a spare tire.' It ruined my moment. He didn't even realize it. I know losing weight won't give me any more self esteem than I have now. I know it doesn't matter what I look like, its the person inside. But, when I look at the mirror I hate the person on the outside and the person on the inside. I hate the overly critical person I have become. Its probably the reason I don't have any friends.
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
02,July,2004
|
Do you ever have those days you just feel fat? Nothing fits right. Nothing looks right. You weight yourself and you weigh more than you did the day before. How depressing. I weigh myself everyday... I guess I think in some miracle I will have lost 10 pounds overnight. If only it was that simple! I feel fat today. I feel like everyone is looking at me. I have only eaten about 800 calories today---I am trying to conserve for the cookout we are going to on Sunday afternoon.
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
01,July,2004
|
Once again, I went over my calories. I decided I just had to have Chinese for lunch. I convinced myself that it was going to be a reward for going to the dentist and not having nitrous. I managed to contain myself and eat only half of the food... but, when I got home I chowed down. I hate doing this to myself. I really didn't do all THAT bad. I only went over by 150. I ate 1650 calories today. I am trying to stay below 1500. My fat grams were outrageous! WHEW!
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
30,June,2004
|
I am here. I created this thing. How do I make it work?!
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
16,July,2004
|
Dirty old men kill me. There is this salesman here at work who is like 3 feet tall. He thinks he is Casanova. He keeps trying to hook up the girls here at work with his son--- who is 30, bald, still lives at home and plays with Star Wars figures! We all keep telling him no. Somehow, he got the idea that the night cashier was interested. The salesman brings the phone up and shoves it in her face saying to talk to him. She told him know. Somehow he got her email address and started emailing her these stalking-type emails. Creepy! The killer is that his dad (the salesman) got fired for something like this before—AND THEY HIRED HIM BACK! Why do men think because they are over 50, that all us young girls want a sugar daddy… if I wanted a sugar daddy… he sure as hell wouldn’t be bald and 3 feet tall… or 30 and play with dolls. Sheesh.
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
12,July,2004
|
Now, this makes absolutely no sense what so ever... I get online to check what classes I need and then call the telephone registration. I type in my cost accounting class (which, is only offered during the day at 11 am) and my math class. The annoying voice recording tells me that I have not met the prerequisites for the course. I get back online and check. I haven't taken math 102. The class I was trying to register for was 116. I did some more searching... I can take Math 121, but not 116. 121 is a higher level class.... weird. So, now I am signed up fore Math 121. Heaven help me. Today is mom's birthday. She called this morning as asked if we wanted to go to Olive Garden. Of course, I said yes! I get a call this afternoon---change of plans--- now we are going to Max and Ermas... with grandma and grandpa. There isn't enough alcohol in the world to help anyone through this!
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
07,July,2004
|
My parents are overly critical. My grandparents are overly critical. Somewhere along the line, I became overly critical. I bitch about everything. I make fun of people. I laugh at their clothes, the way they act, the way they talk... on and on and on. Nobody can do anything right. For example, at a 4th of July part on Sunday, Don and I were playing catch. My father, who thought he was out of earshot, was sitting in the shade critiquing the way I throw a baseball and catch a baseball... you'd have thought the Dodgers had a scout watching me or something. Who cares that I don't catch all the balls? Who cares that I don't throw a '3 fingered ball.' WHO CARES? My whole life has been like that--- I have never been good enough. When I had lost all the weight and went from a size 22 to a size 16... I was so excited I was able to fit into a pair of hip hugger wide leg jeans. I went shopping at lunch and wore the clothes to show my dad at work... his comment when he saw me? You still have a spare tire. Not--- you look great! What kind of person says that?
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
02,July,2004
|
Last night, Don and I were watching the news and a town really close to us is having a big fight with the residents and the owners of a tire business on the outskirts of town. The business had a really pretty mural painted above their store entrance of red, white and blue with starts. It was not the flag, but it was a design that made you recognize it was to be a flag. (I don't know how else to explain it.) They did it when we went to war with Iraq. The city took them to council making them cover it up with plain paint. They did, but now residents of the town are calling the city and complaining--which is, in my opinion, a good thing. I guess on the outside of their building they have one of their signs that says something about the city getting mad about a flag, and now the city is mad that you (being the residents) are calling. The thing that irks me is... the reporter on the news is standing right outside the building and as she is doing the report, the camera pans the building. Hanging on a light pole in front of the building is a banner from the city promoting a festival or something. It has an American flag design on it--- and its tattered and torn! This is 4th of July weekend. The most patriotic of all holidays in the USA. I am proud to be an American. I understand freedom isn't free! I understand this country was founded on religious beliefs. It just makes me upset when I hear about stuff like this--especially close by. The town should be grateful they have young men and women willing to go overseas to protect our freedom. Yet, I am sitting here writing this because someone had the audacity to complain about a beautiful mural of the American flag. Everyday it seems we are hearing about someone else complaining about 'under God' in our pledge, or 'in God we trust' on our coins. I just want to shake them until they get their senses back. I won't say I am the most patriotic person in the world. Heaven knows, I didn't think we should have gone to war. I think God Bless America should be our national anthem, not the Star Spangled Banner. But, you know, I understand the big picture. People died for me to be able to experience the freedoms that I have right now. We all have the freedom to believe in what we want to believe--- whether we believe in God, freedom or other things. Whenever I hear the Star Spangled Banner, I stand up proud and think about how free we really are. It's a shame that on 4th of July weekend--or anytime--we have to contend with stuffy minded individuals who can tell a business that they cannot show their patriotism, but can degrade the American flag on a banner.
|
3,807,260 |
female
| 25 |
Automotive
|
Virgo
|
01,July,2004
|
Yesterday absolutely sucked! I found out my accounting class that I need to take is only offered during the day at 11 am. So, I had to beg work to let me go and come back to work late. Then, the math class is also during the day or at 7 at night. So, Mondays and Wednesday I will be in math class 7-9:15 and Tuesdays and Thursdays I will be in cost accounting 11:00-12:15. Its gonna suck! Then, this girl here at work is passing a rumor around that I stole her $300 Coach purse that she left sitting on her desk. She brought it in a month ago trying to sell it. I wouldn't know a Coach purse if it jumped up and bit me! Give me a Walmart $9.98 special any day! The people she is telling this to have told me. They all think she is nutso. This is also the chick who ordered a bunch of special order candles then didn't want to pay for them because she didn't like how they smelled! Sheesh. Well, I need to go figure out how to get that comment thing in here. Danny told me how.
|
939,295 |
male
| 26 |
Internet
|
Gemini
|
14,May,2004
|
To see if there are any more comments..
|
939,295 |
male
| 26 |
Internet
|
Gemini
|
11,May,2004
|
Just put three different comments up and none of them seem to have come through yet... I've edited my (new!) Blogger (TM!) Profile (R!) (etc.) so this testy blog is linked back into urlLink Cinestatic . The rain-post was originally urlLink here .
|
939,295 |
male
| 26 |
Internet
|
Gemini
|
11,May,2004
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Returning from work yesterday I was perturbed to see the exit to Brixton tube station all clogged up with people sheltering under the leaking roof from the most torrential downpour I have ever witnessed. I got about 10 metres before I was soaked through, pausing to shelter under the bridge. Then some hail kicked off - there were ice balls the size of hazelnuts and bigger! And me with no umbrella. I called Rachael to find she was waiting in the station; she ran out to meet me and we decided to take shelter in Sainsbury's. 15 minutes of procrastination later it was STILL hammering away. Then I remembered that my flat is prone to a leaking roof under these circumstances, so we set off into the flood with a sense of urgency derived from my desire NOT to return to a drenched, short-circuited collection of electronic instruments and applicances. We made it across Atlantic road to the next bridge, sodden once more, heavy traffic pushing vast tides of water in our direction every few seconds, my concerns transferring to the welfare of my phone and PDA. Bag turned over, phone placed in back pocket we made another few feet to the entrance of the Beehive and sheltered with a cursing man who was desperate to find a taxi. He bravely ventured out (to a good old soaking) and we helped a middle aged lady to open her umbrella (she was having trouble with the clasp). 'You want to hold on to THAT', I telled her, implying that umbrella-theft was currently the number-one most likely opportunistic criminal annoyance. She didn't hear me, but we sent her out with umbrella open. Don't know how far she made it. To be honest, my glasses were so covered in water, no dry clothing left to wipe them, the world had become a noisy blur. We made another run for it, splashing through puddles two inches deep, to find that some helpful soul had put up some signs to indicate that the pedestrian crossing was 'out of service'. Well, yeah - the water was nearly a foot deep - boats and swimmers only! We walked along Brixton road, hoping to find a place where the water was a bit shallower, but four minutes later it became apparent that the whole of Brixton Road had been transmogrified into a river, and not having gleaned any bridge-building skills from the tv-survival shows of Ray Mears and the likes, it became apparent that the only way we were gonna get home was by wading. The downpour had slowed down a bit by then at least. We went back to the first crossing and made a break for it. I had considered removing my shoes, but the prospect of all that sewage, chicken bones and used syringes against my feet was not entirely appealing. One brave fellow hopped across, feet darting in and out of the water, and we soon followed his example. It wasn't as bad as I'd expected - our trousers and shoes got soaked through, but the socks took most of the wetness and we were through the door and pulling them off before our feet got too saturated. Thankfully, the ceiling drippage was minimal. A builder had been around earlier in the day in response (at last) to our complaints a couple of weeks ago that my housemate's possessions had all been soaked from the last downpour by water dripping through the light fittings. Not much consolation to Jon, who had already been screwed by the rain, but thankfully there were no electrical casualties. The landlord came round and breathed a sigh of relief that his property was okay, 'In the fourty years I've lived in this country I've never seen anything like this!'. Apparently, during that storm in the 80's our ceiling and the ceiling below had both come down... Unfortunately, the evil-church's glass roof was spared. Dammit.
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939,295 |
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Gemini
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11,May,2004
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This is a number one special post for looking at within the context of the whole blog. Actually, I think I may use some old blogs to do this testing...
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939,295 |
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Gemini
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07,July,2004
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I haven't had one yet (I have a huge backlog to get through, an ohh it will feel good) but I will describe from now on the pleasures beneath me sheets. Any advice will be taken on board but please, keep it constructive as I am still a virgin.
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939,295 |
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Gemini
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27,May,2004
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There weren't too many people there when I was playing, but afterwards The Night was fucking Rammed! Word to that Shizznit. Is anybody listening?
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939,295 |
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Gemini
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24,May,2004
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New tunes, one is a cleaner version of dba MaXop, and the other is a short skratchy track, like for an interlude or something, featuring a new skratchy technique I made up. Bo.
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939,295 |
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Gemini
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20,May,2004
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urlLink urlLink Tings a 'gwarn.
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939,295 |
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Gemini
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18,May,2004
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939,295 |
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| 26 |
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Gemini
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24,June,2004
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Look at these lovely pikchorez I found on the Ninja Tune Website... . urlLink amon 3.jpg urlLink Wagon2.jpg The second one is from the Wagon Christ album. His new one is called 'Sorry I Make You Lush'. ...i also found this... Mmm. ps got a gig in october. nice
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