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OPENING SCENE:
CARNIVAL
(Man buys tickets for his kids)
MAN: Just a few more rides, then you have to rap it up.
(Kids run off)
(Man turns around, smiling)
(He turns around and sees AGENT KELLERMAN, his smile fades.)
AGENT KELLERMAN: Wow. Adams getting bigger. Ten.
MAN: Not here.
AGENT KELLERMAN: We need a favour
MAN: I've been out of the life for years
AGENT KELLERMAN: I know. Problem is, no ones gonna believe that if I take the heroin I have in my pocket and put it in the glove box of the reasonably priced minivan you got over there. I will cuff you. I will drag you out of here in front of everyone.
(AGENT KELLERMAN eats some ice cream)
MAN: What do you need?
CUT TO:
VIEW OF THE CITY
VO: (PRESIDENT) What America needs is an environmentally friendly, logistically feasible (PRESIDENT on TV) and economically responsible alternative fuel source.
CUT TO:
(VERONICA DONOVAN sitting in her living room working)
(Phone rings)
(VERONICA leaves the phone)
(VERONICA on answer machine)
(Leave a message and I'll call you back. Thanks)
ANSWER MACHINE: Hi it's WENDY. I know you wanted to work eighth no distractions so don't pick up. I just wanted you to know that NICK SAVRINN left six messages for you....
(VERONICA picks up the phone, quickly)
VERONICA: What did you tell him?
WENDY: (Surprised, she didn't expect VERONICA to pick up) Oh ah, what you said to say - you were in a meeting.
VERONICA: Look if he comes by the office tomorrow tell him imp not there.
WENDY: Okay. Goodnight VERONICA.
VERONICA: Thanks, WENDY
(VERONICA hangs up)
CUT TO:
[EXTERIOR: FOX RIVER STATE PENITENTIARY: NIGHT]
CUT TO:
[MICHAEL SCOFIELDS devil tattoo]
(MICHAEL sits on the lower bunk, he is sharpening something, we don't see what, FERNANDO SUCRE sits up top as a lookout)
(MICHAEL blows what he was sharpening)
(MICHAEL uses the screw that he was sharpening to unscrew the toilet)
(MICHAEL pulls the toilet out)
(MICHAEL crawls through the hole behind the toilet)
(PRISON GUARD walks past, MICHAEL follows)
(MICHAEL stares at a concrete wall)
(He walks up to the wall and puts his hands against it)
(MICHAEL starts walking backwards and forwards infront of the wall, counting his steps)
(MICHAEL walks away from the wall, counting his steps)
(MICHAEL stops and rolls up his sleeve, he looks at his tattoo, making sure his calculations are correct)
(MICHAEL puts his arm against the pole and marks a dot on the pole)
(MICHAEL looks around looking for something, anything that can hold the light)
CUT TO:
[MICHAEL AND SUCRES CELL: NIGHT]
(SUCRE looks to the toilet to see if MICHAEL is coming through, he isn't. SUCRE starts getting nervous)
(GUARDS are patrolling the cells)
GUARD: Bed check!
(SUCRE looks up, really nervous now, MICHAEL still isn't back)
(SUCRE jumps down to see where the guards are)
(SUCRE heads towards the toilet and has second thoughts, he goes back to his bed. He grabs a small mirror and taps the toilet so MICHAEL knows that his time is running out)
(SUCRE [rushing] assorts pillows to make it look like MICHAEL is in there)
(SUCRE has one last look to see where the guards are and jumps up to his bed and pretends to be asleep)
CUT TO:
[VERONICAS APARTMENT]
(VERONICA walks out of her apartment, locking the door behind her)
(VERONICA turns around and finds NICK there, he startles her)
NICK: Do you want to tell me why you haven't returned any of my calls?
VERONICA: Look I really appreciate everything you've done, but I don't want your help any more.
NICK: Don't want my help anymore. Do you really think I had something to do with that missing tape?
VERONICA: No, look I'm just gonna go grab a cup of coffee and get back to work. Okay. I don't have time for this right now.
(VERONICA walks past NICK)
(NICK follows VERONICA)
CUT TO:
[OUTSIDE VERONICAS APARTMENT]
NICK: Look, VERONICA, just wait a second. Will you hold on a second? Listen, what are you avoid....
(NICK reaches out to grab her arm and prevent her from walking away from him)
VERONICA: Don't touch me!
(LUCASZ notices what's happening)
LUCASZ: Everything OK Miss Donovan?
VERONICA: LUCASZ do you mind walking me back inside?
LUCASZ: (To NICK) Take a walk pal.
NICK: You're being paranoid. Your being paranoid
VERONICA: Go away NICK
(VERONICA and LUCASZ walk inside)
(NICK walks away)
CUT TO:
[INTERIOR: MICHAEL AND SUCRES CELL]
(SUCRE is still lying on the bed)
(GUARD comes to check that both SUCRE and MICHAEL are in the cell)
GUARD: Show some skin SCOFIELD!
(GUARD shines the torch over MICHAEL)
(GUARD taps the bars)
GUARD: Hey SCOFIELD!
(GUARD reaches for his keys and rattles them then shines the torch over MICHAEL)
(MICHAEL takes the blanket off)
MICHAEL: I', trying to sleep boss.
(MICHAEL puts the blankets over him again)
(The Guard continues walking)
MICHAEL: I can't get through the wall
SUCRE: What do you mean you can't get through the wall?
MICHAEL: I know how to do it, I just don't have the time to do it
SUCRE: We're locked up, all we got is time
MICHAEL: You don't understand. I planned this break on a schedule. Constantly coming up here for count won't let me do what I need to do to get through that wall. If I'm not back on schedule, which means that we're through that wall by the end of the day manna, we're not getting out of here.
(SUCRE leans over the edge of his bed to look at MICHAEL)
SUCRE: There's three things for certain in life - death, taxes and count. The only way to stop count is...
MICHAEL: What?
SUCRE: (REGRETTING HAVING SAID THAT) Never mind. It's a bad idea
MICHAEL: Worse than the idea of losing Maricruz?
SUCRE: (GIVING IN) A lock down. We get Gen Pop locked down for a day you'll have all the time you need
MICHAEL: And no count?
SUCRE: Bulls don't even come by. Only one problem
MICHAEL: How do we get a lock down?
(SUCRE wipes sweat off his forehead with his hand, he gets and idea)
SUCRE: Can you get to the prison AC unit?
MICHAEL: Maybe
SUCRE: (SITTING UP) You want to get a lockdown? You'd better get the inamtes riled up. And if you wanna piss of the meat in concrete, turn up the heat.
CUT TO:
[EXTERIOR: FOX RIVER STATE PENITENTIARY: DAY]
(Rap music)
(A group of inmates are walking through a gate being opened by a guard)
(Camera goes around, we see the other inmates)
(On the bleaches inmates are passing screws to the others)
TURK: (On phone) I thought you were retired
MAN: (On other end of the line) Never mind me. Heavy hitters want this done so that means I want it done. No screw-ups
TURK: For you diamond, it's not a problem, Burrows is a good as d*ad
CUT TO:
[LINCOLN walking in handcuffs surrounded by guards
CUT TO:
[MICHAEL walking along the yard, SARAH walks up to him on the other side of the fence]
SARAH: Hottest April on record
MICHAEL: Global warming
SARAH: Probably, you got a minute?
MICHAEL: About 5 years worth
SARAH: Sorry. Right. Umm. You never told me LINCOLN BURROWS was your brother
MICHAEL: Never came up
SARAH: Right. I'm curious if that isn't because of my father, the governor. He may not be the one pulling the switch but he has the power to grant clemency and he won't. And he never does
MICHAEL: My old man was an abusive drunk who abandoned his family. I don't judge anyone by their father's actions, or inactions, if that was your concern
SARAH: Just so you know, I don't agree with his politics and I'm sorry about your brother
MICHAEL: I appreciate that
(SARAH walks away)
(SARAH turns around)
SARAH: Hey, this isn't much, umm, I have to give LINCOLN a weekly check-up. If you want I could schedule those visits to end right before you come in for your sh*ts. That way you could at least see each other, even if it is just in passing
MICHAEL: Thank you
(SARAH walks away)
(MICHAEL turns around and walks the opposite way, towards a group of people sitting on the bleachers)
(MICHAEL sits down)
BLACK INMATE: Greetings from the kitchen fish, 100 bucks
(He passes MICHAEL a manual eggbeater, MICHAEL passes him 100 bucks)
(MICHAEL puts part of the egg beater in his shoe and covers the rest with the leg of his pants)
CUT TO:
[T-BAG is being transferred back into Gen Pop]
GUARD: (VO) Theodore Bagwell, a transfer back from the infirmary
GUARD: Check. Open 14
(The gate opens)
(T-BAG walks in)
(Other inmates welcome him back)
INMATE: We got you a little, get well gift
(The inmates start laughing)
(T-BAG walks up to his cell)
T-BAG: Awww, It's just the right size
(INMATES laugh again)
T-BAG: Thank you, boys
(T-BAG walks into his cell)
T-BAG: I'll see you boys later
(The other INMATES laugh and walk away)
(T-BAG leans against the wall of his cell)
T-BAG: What's your name?
SETH: SETH
T-BAG: Mmmm. Are you new SETH?
(SETH nods, yes)
T-BAG: Scared? Look at me boy
(SETH looks at T-BAG, his face is covered in bruises)
T-BAG: You probably heard stories about me. They're not all true
(T-BAG turns his pocket inside out)
T-BAG: What do you say we go for a walk, huh?
CUT TO:
[EXTERIOR: FOX RIVER STATE PENITENTIARY: DAY]
CUT TO:
[MICHAEL WALKS ALONG TRYING TO FIND THE PRISONS AC]
(MICHAEL climbs up some pipes)
(MICHAEL shuts down the AC unit)
CUT TO:
(VERONICA walks into the prison)
(A GUARD checks her bag)
GUARD: Your co-counsels already here
VERONICA: Excuse me?
(VERONICA walks into a room. LINCOLN and NICK are in there)
VERONICA:(To NICK) What the hell are you doing here?
NICK: Talking to my client
VERONICA: (To LINCOLN) Don't talk to him. We don't know anything about this guy
LINCOLN: He found somebody that can help us out
VERONICA: (To NICK) You have one minute
NICK: I've been going over the incident report. Somebody made an anonymous call to the local cops claiming to see LINCOLN running away from the garage with bloody pants
VERONICA: We've been through this okay. You can' cross examine a witness if you don' know who it is
NICK: We don' need to know who he is. We know where he is
VERONICA: What do you mean?
NICK: It took some doing but a PI friend of mine was able to backtrack the phone call to the police department. Whoever made that call couldn't have seen LINCOLN running from the garage that night
VERONICA: How do you know?
NICK: Because the phone call came from Washington DC
(VERONICA and LINCOLN look at each other)
CUT TO:
[GEN POP: INMATES ARE GETTING HOT AND ARE FANNING THEMSELVES, TRYING TO COOL THEMSELVES DOWN]
CUT TO:
[SUCRE AND MICHAELS CELL]
(SUCRE sits fanning himself as MICHAEL is tracing something from his tattoo, the devil)
SUCRE: You were suppose to turn off the AC not turn on the furnace
(SUCRE looks inside the other cells, his eyes drop on T-BAGS cell)
(SETH is holding out his hand filled with peanuts while T-BAG gets them out of his hand)
SETH: (Wipes his face on his sleeve) It's getting so hot in here
T-BAG: Did I say you could talk, Cherry? You'll know when I want you to open your mouth
(T-BAG gets off his bed)
T-BAG: Geary! You gotta do something about the heat
GEARY: We're doing the best we can
T-BAG: Your best is garbage. It's 100 degrees in here
GEARY: Look like I got frost bite to you?
(BUZZER)
(Cell doors open)
GEARY: Line it up!
(INMATES come towards the line)
(T-BAG steps over the line)
T-BAG: Why don' you transfer us all somewhere cooler, like, Africa?
(The INMATES murmur their approval)
GEARY: Get your ass on the line convict
(Other INMATES step over the line)
T-BAG: We'll move when the temperature situation is rectified
MACK: Hey BELLICK, this is MACK in cell block. We got some conns popping off
BELLICK: Give 'em a smack, throw 'em on the line and write 'em up. If you can' handle it don' cash your paycheck this week
(BELLICK walks through the door of the sick bay and finds SARAH)
BELLICK: This is not a good time doc
SARAH: I just got a call. A prisoner has heat exhaustion
BELLICK: He's faking it
SARAH: Is that your medical opinion?
BELLICK:(Takes his hat off) We got a bunch of overheated cons getting loud in A-wing
SARAH: I don' blame 'em. It's like an oven in here
BELLICK: Everything's under control, you should go back to the infirmary and when things calm down I'll have your patients transferred from sick bay. Just looking out for your best interests
SARAH: And I appreciate that umm but officer BELLICK we both know that it's illegal to deny a prisoner medical care and you could lose your job over it. Now I'm just looking out for your best interests
(BELLICK puts his hat back on)
BELLICK: Go right on in
(BELLICK walks away)
SARAH: Thank you sir
CUT TO:
[A-WING]
GEARY: Now don't be a baby T-BAG, it aint that hot
T-BAG: Not that hot! When this guy woke up this morning (T-BAG points to a black inmate) he was white!
(Other inmates start agreeing)
GEARY: You wanna cool off?
(GEARY throws a cup of water on T-BAG)
(MACK comes up behind GEARY)
MACK: Step back
T-BAG: We'll step back when we get some wind bl*wing in here
GEARY: Alright that's it, lockdown! Everyone back to your cells! I said everyone back to your cells! Now convicts! Lockdown!
(Buzzer)
(Gates close)
SUCRE: You got your lockdown bro. Do your thing
MICHAEL: You're coming with me
SUCRE: What! NO no no no. I'm the lookout man that's it
MICHAEL: I need you down there, it's a two man job. Let's hang a sheet
SUCRE: You only hang a sheet when you and your cellmate want to get friendly
MICHAEL: You wanna protect your prison rep or you wanna get out of here?
(MICHAEL passes SUCRE the sheet)
(MICHAEL and SUCRE go through the toilet)
(INMATES climb up the gates)
BELLCIK: What thee hells going on here?
GEARY: They got belligerent and refused to rack in
BELLICK: You locked it down with INMATES still out of their cells?
GEARY: I figured we could handle 20 out of control inmates better than 300
T-BAG: Listen up bros. BELLICK. I got one for you. What do you call a piece of white trash who couldn't pass the cops exam and now makes less than the mailman? A CO
(INMATES start laughing)
BELLICK: Get your hands off the fence!
INMATE: Suck it pig!
BELLICK: You know Teddy. You really let me down. And that's hard to do because I don't expect much from the inbred child of a ret*rd.
(This gets to T-BAG)
BELLICK: That's right Teddy, I read your psych records bout how your dad r*ped his Mongoloid sister and then 9 months later little Teddy pops out
(T-BAG gets out of control)
T-BAG: I'm gonna k*ll you
(INMATES climb the bars)
BELLICK: Hot as hell. They'll wear themselves out eventually
CUT TO:
(LINCOLN looks out window)
LINCOLN: The call was a fake. What about a stay of execution?
NICK: It's legally insufficient
LINCOLN: What the hell does that mean?
(LINCOLN kicks a chair)
LINCOLN: What the hell does that mean?
VERONICA: It means the prosecution could point out the evidence from your criminal trial okay, the blood, the video, the g*n. A questionable phone call is not going to stack up to that.
LINCOLN: It's something right?
NICK: Absolutely. We got an area code. My contact will track it down to someplace more specific, a building, a neighborhood, a block to the person who made this call
LINCOLN: Okay, what happens next?
NICK: We need to catch the next flight to Washington DC. That is if you trust me now
CUT TO:
T-BAG: It's coming! It's coming! It's coming! Get on the train! Whoo!
(INMATES are taking bars off the door)
T-BAG: Get on the train! Get on the train!
BELLICK: Let's get to my office
T-BAG: Oh just what I thought. Piglets scared of a big bad wolf! A big bad wolf!
(BELLICK, MACK and GEARY walk to BELLICKS office)
T-BAG: Oh just what I thought! Get on the train!
CUT TO:
(MICHAEL and Sucre walk under A-WING. They can hear the riot above them)
MICHAEL: Come on
CUT TO:
(INMATES get through)
CUT TO:
[BELLICKS OFFICE]
(BELLICK grabs a g*n)
(They look at the screen for the security cameras. They see the INMATES inside)
(MACK realizes he doesn't have his keys)
(The INMATES open the gates for the cells)
CHARLES WESTMORELAND: MARILYN, no!
(CHARLES' cat runs away)
(T-BAG finds MACKS keys, he holds them up to the camera)
BELLICK: whose keys are those?
MACK: I guess in all the commotion
(BELLICK tries to walk out. GEARY stops him)
GEARY: How many rounds do you think you'll get off before they get their hands on you?
BELLICK: (To radio) This is BELLICK. Our wing has been breached. I want A-WING evacuated and shut down. All access to B-WING shut off now
CUT TO:
[SICK BAY]
SARAH: I'm gonna get some fluids into you. You'll be as good as new okay. Nod your head if you believe me
(PATIENT nods his head, yes)
SARAH: Good man
(SARAH walks to the next patient)
SARAH: THEO. What can we do for you today?
SARAH: Hmm. This where it hurts?
THEO: A little higher to the left
SARAH: Your 3 weeks post-op. Your knee is being held together by a rod and 3 screws. Tenderness is normal. No more meds
(SARAH walks to the next patient)
SARAH: Okay KEAME why are you back?
GUARD OVER RADIO: INMATES have compromised lockdown and breached A-WING. A-WING is shutting down
PATIENT: It's popping off in G-POP!
(Other Patients cheer)
CUT TO:
MICHAEL: Somewhere on the other side of this wall is a drainage pipe to the prisons old sewer system. If we can get through this wall we can get into the pipe. If we can get into the pipe we can get into the infirmary. If we can get into the infirmary we can get out of here
(SUCRE smiles)
CUT TO:
(LINCOLN sits down) GUARD: Sorry all visitors have to leave. You have to leave. There is a minor disturbance in cell block. A-WING is being shut down for safety purposes
LINCOLN: A-WING, VERONICA MICHAELS in there
VERONICA: Will he be okay?
GUARD: You have to leave now
LINCOLN: Go to DC its all we got. I'll take care of MICHAEL alright
VERONICA: Okay
LINCOLN: Please
(GUARD takes LINCOLN out)
GUARD: Sorry about cutting you short
LINCOLN: How many times do I have to tell you not to apologize, makes you look weak, now what's going on?
GUARD: Like I said, it's a minor disturbance
LINCOLN: A minor disturbance? My brother is in GEN-POP so give it to me straight
GUARD: Some clowns breached cell block but they cant get anywhere they always have locked doors at each end there's nothing to worry about
LINCOLN: Son of a bitch
PA: Additional sections of A-WING have been compromised
(T-BAG runs and stops when he sees LINCOLN)
T-BAG: Well I'll be damned. A rookie CO and it aint even Christmas!
LINCOLN: Take the cuffs off. Give me the key! Get out of here T-BAG
T-BAG: Oh I see you found him first. Finders keepers. You know, I respect that I do but I think we can work something out
LINCOLN: What you got?
T-BAG: Oh I can make your last few weeks on this earth enjoyable. Get you some Demerol, some X. Make you forget about that big bad chair
LINCOLN: No deal
T-BAG: You got to learn the art of negotiation. Lesson 1 bargaining position. Rules have changed
INMATE: Get the pig!
(GUARD tries to get away)
(LINCOLN pushes guard up against the wall)
LINCOLN: What are you doing? You'll never make it
T-BAG: Chill, Sink. No blood needs to spill, Sink
LINCOLN: Just walk away
T-BAG: We both know that aint gonna happen
LINCOLN: Yea?
CUT TO:
(MICHAEL prepares light)
SUCRE: That one big pile of concrete. How do you know where the pipe is?
MICHAEL: We've got someone to show us where it is
SUCRE: Oh really? Who?
(MICAHEL turns the light on)
(SUCRE does the sign of the cross. The devil from MICHAELS tattoo is now reflected on the wall)
CUT TO:
[SICK BAY]
SARAH: Infections not that bad. I'll give you some penicillin just to make sure
PATIENT: Thanks Doc
GUARD: This is Rizzo. Does A-WING need back up? Over
MAN: Negative. A-wing is evacuated and locked down. Remain in B-WING
(SARAH walks back in with the penicillin sh*t and finds the GUARD handcuffed to the pole)
PATIENT: Whats up Doc?
(The PATIENT grabs her throat)
(SARAH s*ab him with the penicillin sh*t)
(SARAH quickly goes to the next room and locks the door)
PATIENT: Come on Doc
SARAH: You don't want to do this
(SARAH tries to call a GUARD)
(A PATIENT holds up the cut phone cord)
PATIENT: I'm sorry this line is experiencing technical difficulties
CUT TO:
T-BAG: You ever seen one of those safari shows where a bunch of cheaters jump up on an antelope? Guess which one you are (Cackles)
(LINCOLN grabs one of the INMATES head and head buts him)
(Fights break out)
(LINCOLN goes alright until T-BAG hits him on the head with a small metal pole)
(LINCOLN falls down, unconscious)
T-BAG: Tough little girl aint he
CUT TO:
SUCRE: I believe the devils got some crazy power but I don't think shining him on this wall is gonna bring him down. Unless he has a sledgehammer with him
MICHAEL: We don't need a sledgehammer
(MICHAEL passes SUCRE the eggbeater)
SUCRE: What the hell am I suppose to do with this?
CUT TO:
(The INMATES are out of control in the SICK BAY)
GUARD OVER RADIO: SSICK BAY report. SICK BAY please. SICK BAY come in. is everything okay?
PATIENT: You know what to say
GUARD: All clear in SICK BAY. Over
GUARD: Roger that
CUT TO:
Sucre: Let them worry about the noise. You worry about how you are gonna drill through a 6 inch concrete wall with what used to be a eggbeater
MICHAEL: Ever hear of tensile strength? Hooke's law of elasticity?
SUCRE: What do you think?
MICHAEL: If we drill holes in strategic locations, we compromise the walls load carrying capacity of the wall
SUCRE: How about speaking English?
MICHAEL: We'll to be able to break through the wall. Give me that
(SUCRE hands him the eggbeater)
MICHAEL: We go in through the tip of each horn, the eyes, the end of the nose, the bottom of the fangs, end of the braids, makes a sort of X. Lets get to it
CUT TO:
(MEN prepare to enter prison)
CUT TO:
[WARDEN AND BELLICK WALK OUTSIDE]
BELLICK: If I can get DIRT in there with some of the newer g*n we can....
WARDEN: End the riot today and start the funerals tomorrow
BELLICK: I can contain this
GUARD: WARDEN I got a call for you
WARDEN: Not now
GUARD: I think you should take this, it's the GOVERNOR
WARDEN: GOVERNOR
CUT TO:
[EXTRIOR: STATE CAPITAL BUILDING: DAY]
GOVERNOR: Where's my daughter?
WARDEN: Not to worry sir she's fine. She's in SICK BAY, in B-WING. It's a completely different part of the facility, locked off from the disturbance
GOVERNOR: That's what you're calling a riot nowadays? Can these animals get to her?
WARDEN: Sir it's impossible for anyone from A-WING to get to SICK Bay. A GUARD has assured us that everything is fine. We have everything under control GOVERNOR
GOVERNOR: For your sake you better hope you do
CUT TO:
[SICK BAY]
(PATIENT tries to brake through the window with a chair)
(PATIENTS keep yelling at her)
CUT TO:
MICHAEL: It's your turn
SUCRE: No, I aint messing with Diablo
MICHAEL: We can't afford any down time we have to keep drilling
SUCRE: It's bad mojo. You are kidding. I guess with him you drill into him he got pissed, then what? I got enough enemies already papi okay?
MICHAEL: You believe in god right?
SUCRE: You know I do
MICHAEL: So your protected. He'll protect you from him
(SUCRE takes the eggbeater and starts drilling)
CUT TO:
(T-BAG takes guard down stairs)
(INMATES cheer as he enters GEN-POP)
T-BAG: Gentleman oh, gentleman! Once Bob and I are done getting acquainted everyone else will get their turn
(INMATES cheer)
T-BAG: We're gonna have a little fun Bobby. Don't worry I don't got the Blickey I'm pipey and clean
(GUARD tries to get away)
T-BAG: Where you going rookie? NO no no no no no no no no no no. They always think they can run away
(The GUARD kicks T-bag. T-BAG punches him over and over again)
CUT TO:
[SUCRE DRILLS WALL]
SUCRE: I got a question for you fish. What if you do all this work and the pipe turns out to be 10 feet that way?
MICHAEL: It won't
SUCRE: What you got x-ray vision?
MICHAEL: I calculated the drill point co-ordinates, hid them in my tattoo and projected them onto the wall. Everything's been worked out so the image hits the right point of the wall. Its just math
SUCRE: What if your math's wrong
MICHAEL: You'll drill into one of the dozen gas lines behind the wall. There'll be an expl*si*n and we'll be burnt alive.
SUCRE: But you're good at math right?
CUT TO:
(T-BAG beats GUARD and kicks him into MICHAEL and SUCRES cell)
(The GUARD holds onto the toilet, pulling it out)
(T-BAG sees the hole)
T-BAG: They're breaking out. They're breaking....!
(ABRUZZI comes up behind him)
ABRUZZI: Ssshhh
CUT TO:
[SICK BAY]
(PATIENT continues to try to break the window)
(PATIENT puts his arm through)
PATIENT: Yo stroke, you got longer arms than me
(SARAH s*ab him with a needle)
PATIENT: That bitch got me!
CUT TO:
WARDEN: You think its hot now? I want all the water shut off
BELLICK: I'll call maintenance
WARDEN: MACK you take care of it
MACK: Yes sir
CUT TO:
(MICHAEL crawls through the hole behind the toilet)
ABRUZZI: Yea, we have a problem
T-BAG: Bob here's seen the hole. He's gotta go away
(SUCRE comes through the hole behind the toilet)
MICHAEL: No ones going anywhere
T-BAG: He's seen the hole
ABRUZZI: So have you
SUCRE: Looks like your lockdown idea didn't work out so good hu?
GUARD: I have a daughter, please
T-BAG: We gotta k*ll him
MICHAEL: The cops are right outside and they'll stay outside as long as they know where keeping him alive
T-BAG: But he's a guard he's gonna squeal
ABRUZZI: What the hell does this have to do with you? This is not any of your concern
T-BAG: Hm. See, Bob here knows about our secret. He knows about our escape so its all of our concern now isn't it
CUT TO:
(CHARLES WESTMORELAND finds LINCOLN lying down on the ground)
(CHARLES turns him around)
LINCOLN: Ahhh
CHARLES: Easy big fella it's me, looks like you've taken a pretty big h*t. Cons got that rookie guard in GEN-POP. Kids probably d*ad already or wishing he was
LINCOLN: Where's Scofield?
CHARLES: Haven't seen him since things jumped off
TURK: You looking for Scofield?
LINCOLN: Yea TURK
TURK: Follow me
CUT TO:
ABRUZZI: Now you listen pervert, you're in as much trouble as he is right now, you understand
T-BAG: Go ahead, go ahead strike me. Let's see how many times I can shout out about your little hole before I bleed out. Every cons gonna know about your escape before a drip of my blood hits the floor so you see friends either im through that hole with you or im gonna sing like Johnny Cash
CUT TO:
[SICK BAY]
(PATIENTS continue to try get through the window)
PATIENT: Open the door
CUT TO:
INMATE: Hey yo! Check it! Strokes about to get the Doc!
(MICHAEL comes to have a look)
(MICHAEL sees SARAH in the camera)
MICHAEL: Sucre I need you to finish what we started
SUCRE: Where are you going?
MICHAEL: SICK BAY
ABRUZZI: There's no way to B-WING we're locked out
MICHAEL: Not me. No one touches the CO, no one
T-BAG: (To ABRUZZI) You gonna clue me in paisano?
CUT TO:
(TURK and LINCOLN walk through a gate)
[FLASH BACK]
(Conversation Turk had)
[END OF FLASHBACK]
CUT TO:
(MICHAEL makes his way to SICK BAY)
(MICHAEL gets on roof of FOX RIVER STATE PENITENTIARY he can see SARAH through the window)
CUT TO:
(SARAH is in SICK BAY)
(PATIENTS continue to try break through the window)
(SARAH sits with a piece of glass in her hand wrapped up in her coat)
(SCREEN GOES BLACK)
(TO BE CONTINUED) | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x06 - Riots, Drills and the Devil"} | foreverdreaming |
OPENING SCENE:
Continued from the last episode:
Michael is peering from the top of the roof of FOX RIVER. Helicopters are circling the prison. He crawls to an overhead vent. Just as he is about to remove the vent, a helicopter comes circling above the roof. Michael waits for the helicopter to pass and then successfully removes the screen of the vent and climbs in.
CUT TO:
Army vans are entering the prison. Men dressed in attire and carrying g*n, rush towards the perimeters of the prison.
POPE: (To Stoltz) Any word from the Governor?
STOLTZ: Not yet.
POPE: (Walks towards Bellick) BELLICK! Get those guys in line.
BELLICK: (To another CO) Get them in to formation. (Turns back to pope). We're going back in?
POPE: Not yet. We cut the water off about an hour ago. The stink alone should drive them out from there.
BELLICK: You think that's going to work?
POPE: No, but its protocol. And we're all going to do this by the book. It's the best chance we have of everybody getting out of there without getting hurt.
(From the window, we see a prison waving his hands shouting towards the CO's).
POPE: (Taking the loudspeaker from Bellick) This is the warden. What's happening in there?
PRISONER: We've got some demands.
(We see Abruzzi telling the prisoner what to tell Pope from the window)
ABRUZZI: Tell him we need the air back on.
PRISONER: (to Pope) We need the AC.
ABRUZZI: We got a hostage, a guard.
PRISONER: We got a hostage.
BELLICK: (To another CO) Find out who's in there. (CO comes back to Bellick after seconds. Bellick looks worried.) He's got Bob.
ABRUZZI: The girl doctor. Tell him we got her.
PRISONER: Why don't you do it?
ABRUZZI: I don't want to get sh*t.
PRISONER: (Keeps himself covered by the wall so he doesn't get sh*t) And we got the girl doctor.
POPE: Doctor?
BELLICK: Only one.
POPE: (Getting angry) How the hell did that happen? How did they get their hands on her?
BELLICK: I thought she was safe. She was in sick bay.
POPE: We gotta get her out of there. Somebody has to go in there NOW.
BELLICK: Can't do it, Sir.
POPE: Why not?
BELLICK: (smugly) It's not by the book.
(The Pope starts to say something but stops. He looks overhead and see's helicopters swirling around. A man in an army uniform comes up to the pope.)
SOLDIER: Sir, I've got some updates for you.
POPE: OK. (Hands the loudspeaker to Bellick and runs after him).
CUT TO:
(Sick Bay. Sara is at the window and screaming for a way out).
SARA: HELP!! (Banging the windows with all her might). HELP!!
CUT TO:
(Somewhere in the chambers of the Prison, Turk comes into view and is leading Lincoln somewhere.)
LINCOLN: Scofield's here? Ow. (He bends over in pain, but continues to follow Turk) You're sure he's in here? Turk? Turk?
(Suddenly out of nowhere, Turk reappears and hits Lincoln on the back, attempting to strangle him with some wire/string. A struggle takes place.)
CUT TO: OPENING CREDITS
CUT BACK TO:
Lincoln struggles against Turk. Turk still has the wire/string around Lincoln's neck. Lincoln moves back and hits Turk against one of the pipes. He punches Turk in the stomach, and Turk falls back. Lincolns falls too and gasps for air.
CUT TO:
(Back in A-Wing, the prisoners are still getting roused up. It's a mess in there. There is a huge commotion. The camera pans around and then focuses on Michael's cell. T-bag removes the guard's (Bob's) boots and his belt.)
SUCRE: (Unscrewing the toilet) You ain't going to use that. (Referring to the belt)
T-BAG: You making up the rules now, sa?
SUCRE: It's my house. You got a problem?
T-BAG: Yea, I got a problem. (Removes the shoelaces from the boot). We all do.
BOB: No problem, I swear to God. I'm not going to say anything. I didn't see anything. (Looks very scared).
SUCRE: That's right badge. You didn't see nothing. (Removes the toilet).
BOB: Wait. Don't leave.
SUCRE: Sorry. I'll be back.
T-BAG: (To Sucre) Oy, I'll cover for you. (To Bob) Don't worry CO, alright? I'm not going to hurt nobody. (Sucre crawls through the hole in the cell) I'm part of the team now. C'mon help a brother out. Drag that over... That's the way.
(Bob puts the toilet back to where it was. T-Bag keeps giving him looks).
CUT TO:
(Michael's legs appear and then his full body. He is somewhere in the vents. He looks around and continues crawling through them. He hears a sudden noise, stops and then starts crawling again.)
CUT TO:
(A plane is flying in the air)
AIRHOSTESS: Ladies and Gentlemen, please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts. We're making our final approach to Washington DC.
NICK: We need to focus on the real question. Who wanted Terrence Steadman d*ad?
VERONICA: The call came from D.C. What does that tell you?
NICK: You've got to think past the government though. Anybody could be here. A business partner, a rival.
VERONICA: Before Steadman was k*lled, Ecofield introduced prototype electric engine at the techno conference. Sixty dollar barrels of oil be obsolete if that thing ever h*t the mainstream.
NICK: Could be oil. Oil Companies.
VERONICA: Buyers, consumers, everything in between.
NICK: Or the government of an oil-based economy. Like the United States.
AIRHOSTESS: Can I take your soda?
NICK: Sure. Thank you.
AIR HOSTESS: Thank you.
NICK: Anyway, when we land, we meet my guy. Even if we don't find the person who tipped off the cops, we'll find his phone. The paper trail begins.
CUT TO:
(Sick bay. The prisoners are banging on the door, while Sara hides behind a chair. She gets up, and starts banging on the window.)
SARA: Help!!
CUT TO:
(Michael is still crawling through the vents. He comes to the end of one. He removes the screen and goes through the next vent with the help of a pipe.)
CUT TO:
(Back in the prison grounds, a police car followed by a black van and a limousine enter the prison.)
POPE: (To Bellick) That's the Governor. Whatever happens, don't say anything. (To the Governor) Governor, appreciate you coming. Now you should know since our conversation this morning, the situation has escalated. But not to worry, we're making good progress with our convicts.
GOVERNOR: Just cut the crap, Warden. And tell me where my daughter is.
CUT TO:
(Back in Sick bay, Sara is still screaming for help.)
SARA: HELP!!
CUT TO:
(Michael's cell)
T-BAG: (Looking at Bob's wallet) We got here, uh, Tyler Robert Hudson. That is fancy, CO. Well look at that address: 144 Oak Park. What's this?
BOB: Terrace.
T-BAG: Terrace... How do you swing that? Sounds like you about something, living of ... Terrace. I can't wait to kick it... (I can't make out what he's saying here). Aww, this here must be your daughter. (Looks at a photo of a girl).
BOB: Put it back.
T-BAG: Prom? You know what they say about a prom dress, don't you? She didn't come home did she? She waited all night long...Next morning, she had to throw that dress in the trashcan by the motel, so that her momma didn't see the....
ABRUZZI: Hey hey hey hey hey...What the hell are you doing?
T-BAG: I'm just kicking with deputy dawg... you know, talking women.
ABRUZZI: I'll be very clear here, because you and I face an evolutionary gap. (He takes T-bag by the arms and pushes him against the wall.) You ain't gonna hurt this man. We're locked into this thing now, understand? And he's all the leverage we have.
BOB: Thank you.
ABRUZZI: You're welcome. (To T-bag) Now, do we have an understanding?
T-BAG: I'm on your side now. You understand me? I'm just going with the flow. You let me know when you're done with your leverage. (Exits the cell)
(Abruzzi peers behind the toilet, looking very interested.)
CUT TO:
Sick bay.
SARA: Somebody help!!!
THEO: Let's smoke the bitch out.
CUT TO:
Michael in the vents. Looks like he's reached Sick bay. He pulls open one of the flat pieces and sees the prisoners setting f*re to a book and hears Sara screaming. He puts the piece back and continues crawling. The prisoners throw the book into the room where Sara is hiding. Sara goes towards the book, trying to stamp off the f*re. She puts a trashcan over the book, but unfortunately she's too close to the door. A prisoner grabs her hair. Sara screams.
PRISONER: It ain't gonna hurt real bad, if you make it easy. If you make it hard, ... (he licks Sara's face).
(Sara turns her face in disgust and s*ab the prisoner with a shard of glass. The prisoner recoils in pain and Sara goes to the far end of the room. Suddenly, a hand comes from the top and touches Sara's shoulder. She turns around in surprise and see's Michael up in the vents.)
MICHAEL: C'mon. Grab my hand. C'mon.
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
CUT TO: Sick bay.
Michael still has his arm out for Sara to take. Sara looks around, sees the smoke filling the room. She realizes she has no choice but to take his hand.
MICHAEL: I've got you.
(He pulls Sara so that she's on top of the pipes. She looks very shaken and scared.)
MICHAEL: (He puts a hand on her shoulder.) Are you alright? (She flinches.) It's OK. I'm not gonna hurt you. See these pipes? We're going to stay on them. They go through the wall and over the hallway and they're going to get us out of here. All you have to do is follow me. OK?
SARA: (Still shaken, she tries her best to calm down. She nods). Yea.
MICHAEL: Ok. Let's go.
(They leave. Back in the room, Theo looks in and can't see her.)
THEO: Where'd she go?
CUT TO:
Washington DC Airport.
VERONICA: Where are we meeting him?
NICK: Georgetown, in a parking garage. He's a private investigator. He used to be my roommate - freshman year.
TELEVISION CHANNEL: The disturbance has escalated.
VERONICA: Oh my god Nick, look. Should we go back or keep going?
NICK: Let's keep going. You want to go back and stand there with the rest of the people who aren't helping? C'mon.
CUT TO:
LJ's house. LJ is watching the same news on the television.
LISA (His mom): C'mon honey, it's time.
LJ: Hold on, hold on.
(Lisa looks at the TV)
LISA: It's not Fox River is it?
(LJ nods)
LISA: (She switches off the television.)
LJ: What are you doing?
LISA: We have to go, c'mon.
LJ: No, Dad might be in trouble.
LISA: Your father is already in trouble, there's nothing we can do about it. Look just don't make a scene ok? He (referring to her new husband) gets very uncomfortable with this think ok? Let's just go.
LJ: Oh..God Forbid man. We're just talking about my old man here, and his life, if that's alright with you.
LISA'S HUSBAND: Leave me out of this.
LJ: I am leaving you out of it. I left you out of it the day I met you.
LISA: ok, LJ....
LJ: Coz nothing in her life or mine has anything to do with you.
LISA'S HUSBAND: I don't want to hear anything else.
LJ: Oh yea, or what?
LISA'S HUSBAND: You see, this is what I'm talking about. This is the kind of crap I have to deal with.
LISA: Just let me handle it.
LJ: The kind of crap you have to deal with?
LISA: LJ, you want to talk to him, you gotta....
LJ: Ow, you got no clue do you? (Getting teary).
LISA: Honey,
LJ: Leave me alone.
LJ and LISA'S HUSBAND get into a fight.
LISA: STOP IT. GO UPSTAIRS LJ NOW.GO!!
LJ: You love that man?
LISA: Just go...
LJ: You love that man...
CUT TO:
Somewhere in the prison. Turk is hiding behind a pipe holding a rod of some kind. He hears Lincoln coughing. Lincoln comes into view. He sees Turk coming up behind him.
LINCOLN: Turk, why are you doing this? Who sent you? Why? Why?
Turk aims at Lincoln and a fight breaks out. Turk is thrown over and he lands with a THUD - apparently unconscious. Lincoln goes down to him and tries to wake him up.
LINCOLN: Why did you do this? What's it all about? Who sent you? You gotta help me. You gotta help. Please. TURK!
(Unfortunately, Turk dies).
CUT TO:
(Sucre is still drilling through the holes and muttering in Spanish. )
ABRUZZI: Who's your friend?
SUCRE: (Gets scared) What the hell...raomi..?
ABRUZZI: Who you talking to?
SUCRE: It's the Fish's idea. The devil marks the wall so you know where to drill the holes.
ABRUZZI: You're drilling holes with an egg beater?
SUCRE: I know crazy huh? It's called the Hooker Law. It says that if you poke the exact right holes into something big and strong, it gets very weak.
ABRUZZI: That's true.
SUCRE: When the wall is weak, we can take it down. At least that's the plan.
ABRUZZI: Yea...it's always the plan. You should never underestimate a wall. You see, sometimes however hard you try, it just won't give in.
CUT TO:
Michael and Sara are walking on top of the pipes. Sara is feeling a little breathless.
MICHAEL: Are you alright?
SARA: I'm Ok... I'm fine.
Meanwhile the prisoners are still trying to look for her.
SARA: You know what, I need a minute. I'm sorry.
MICHAEL: It's not much further.
SARA: Just a sec.
MICHAEL: You know, we can stop if you want. Catch our breath.
SARA: Ok. Yea, I could use a minute.
The prisoners have a mop and are trying to life up the vent pieces to see if she's there.
MICHAEL: Things should be winding down around now. Pretty soon, the powers (I can't understand) will break in and it will all be over. It's just a matter of time.
SARA: What's happening in A-Wing?
MICHAEL: All hell is breaking loose. But I think if we stay up here, we should be ok.
SARA: I can't believe this is happening.
CUT TO:
Prisoners who are looking for her.
PRISONER: You miss it girl... you know you want it girl.
CUT TO:
Michael and Sara.
Michael: You ever been to Baja? Mexico? There's this great place down there. Twenty bucks a night. Hammock on the back deck. Beers are fifty cents. Twenty five cents at happy hour. (Sara smiles). You ever been to Thailand? Thailand's great.
SARA: Michael, if you're trying to calm me down, you're doing a terrible job. (Smiles)
Michael (Smiles): But I am trying.
The two of them share a smile/light laugh.
SARA: Why are you here?
MICHAEL: What do you mean?
SARA: Crawling around in the ceiling, risking your life.
MICHAEL: You needed help, and uhh, I came to find you.
SARA: (a little surprised) How'd you know where to go?
MICHAEL: (coming up with an excuse) When everything went off in A-Wing, the CO's left the station and I saw you on the monitor. One of my first assignments on PI, we were up here cleaning out toxic mould. Took days, so I'm kind of familiar with the layout.
SARA: Hope you wore a mask.
MICHAEL: Excuse me.
SARA: To prevent inhalation. Mould can be really dangerous.
MICHAEL: Yea, (with a smile on his face, turns around) I wore a mask.
They keep moving.
The Prisoners hear something up in the vents and Theo gets on a chair and starts poking though to see if he can find her.
MICHAEL: The door to the visitation room. Did you ever use it?
SARA: Not usually, but my access card should work.
Michael sees someone lifting the vent screens and motions to Sara to come to him quick.
MICHAEL: C'mon, let's go.
Theo pokes the vent again and Michael kicks his head with his shoe.
MICHAEL: (urgently) Let's go.
CUT TO:
Prison Grounds.
POPE: Yes Sir, I understand. But believe me, Sara is our top priority.
GOVERNOR: The hell she is. I ordered a state of emergency an hour ago. Soldier.
SOLDIER: Yes Sir.
GOVERNOR: Get me your commanding officer.
SOLDIER: Right away, Sir.
GOVERNOR: Now what the hell is going on out here?
POPE: Negotiating Sir. They can't hold on out much longer.
GOVERNOR: (Getting angry by the second) NEGOTIATING?
POPE: It is a hundred degrees in there. They're almost out of water. We are trying to avoid doing anything extreme.
GOVERNOR: Look, I don't care if it takes a m*ssacre to get her out of there. Do you understand me? Now if you're not going to do it, I am.
COMMANDING OFFICER: Sir.
GOVERNOR: Captain, spread the news. You're going in.
COMMANDING OFFICER: Yes Sir.
GOVERNOR: (To Pope) It's time to do this my way.
CUT TO:
The Prisoners are still searching for Michael and Sara in the hallway. The latter are in a room, up in the vent waiting for the prisoners to leave, Once they are gone...
MICHAEL: Al right. (He gets down from the vent. Sara follows him. He holds out his arms to help her down.)
SARA: Ok.
MICHAEL: Here I gotcha.
Michael managed to get Sara down and the two share a brief moment, staring into each other's eyes.
Suddenly.
PRISONER: Hey Fish, you going to keep that nurse all to yourself?
COMMERCIAL BREAK:
CUT TO:
Michael, Sara and the Prisoner.
The Prisoner moves towards Sara but Michael catches him by the arm around the neck and suffocates him. Theo comes in and tries to get Michael off the other prisoner, but Sara remembers that Theo cannot walk properly because of the rod in his leg. Hence, she kicks him thrice in the leg so that he can't get to Michael. Once the two prisoners are down, Michael and Sara make a run for it.
SARA: C'mon, this way.
CUT TO:
sn*pers are getting into position on the rooftops of the prison. Bellick is observing this. It seems as if he is getting what he wants.
BELLICK: Good call Governor, bringing in the big guys.
GOVERNOR: I appreciate your support.
BELLICK: Captain Brad Bellick. (Reaches his hand out for a handshake. The Governor takes it.) I sent you a letter earlier this year. My views on penal reform.
GOVERNOR: Oh, and what are they?
BELLICK: These inmates don't mess around. Us CO's need to get tough. Warden Pope's a good guy, don't get me wrong, but he doesn't understand that sometimes, you have to grab a situation by the gonads and take control.
GOVERNOR: And is that what you would do Captain?
BELLICK: Yes Sir. That's exactly what I would do.
(Pope sees Bellick talking to the Governor and heads towards them. Bellick leaves the company of the Governor).
CUT TO:
Sucre and Abruzzi.
ABRUZZI: Give me that, Give me that. (Referring to the egg-beater. Sucre seems hesitant).
SUCRE: I don't know. I've...
ABRUZZI: Give me that thing. Demolition runs in the family. The whole trick is pressure. Where should I? Here...?
SUCRE: Yea.
ABRUZZI: Good, good. See, you should push hard, but not too hard, just like...
SUCRE: Yea, but you've got to be careful though...
ABRUZZI: Yea, yea I know... I know...
SUCRE: (Getting nervous...) No, no no I mean it. One slip and you'll h*t the gas pipe.
ABRUZZI: Gas...pipe....?. (turns around, bewildered)
SUCRE: Yea, you know, as in the pipe that carries the gas.
Suddenly, the lights go out. They both look worried.
CUT TO:
Michael and Sara. Sara is leading the way, but she stops as she sees Prisoners in the hallway.
MICHAEL: We can't go this way.
SARA: We have to. There's no other way to Visitation. This is it.
MICHAEL: No, it's not. It's back this way.
SARA: (Not believing him). This won't help.
MICHAEL: Trust me.
SARA: Michael, if you're wrong...
MICHAEL: We don't have time.
Sara gives in and follows Michael.
CUT TO:
Abruzzi is drilling and Sucre is looking on.
ABRUZZI: Not too hard, Not too soft.
CUT TO:
Michael's cell. T-Bag is staring at himself in the mirror.
T-BAG: When I was her (Bob's daughter) age, I had such bad skin. Oh. Acne, they called it. Yea, she looks like all them girls who made fun of me. After I k*ll you, I'm going to crawl out that hole and call me up a limousine. And me and your baby is going to the Prom.
(Bob looks worried);
CUT TO:
Prison grounds.
POPE: Captain, what's the news with Sara?
COMMANDING OFFICER: Still trying to find her Sir.
GOVERNOR: You don't even know where she is?
COMMANDING OFFICER: We're on it. As soon as we do, we'll let you know. (He leaves)
GOVERNOR: You should listen to Captain Bellick and gas the whole block.
POPE: Captain Bellick?
GOVERNOR: He's right on the front line. He knows what these guys can do. You better pray that Sara gets out of there in one piece.
POPE: I do, Governor. But this is still my prison. Whatever happens, I take full responsibility. Excuse me. (He leaves).
CUT TO:
Sara and Michael are running through the Visitation room looking for a way out.
MICHAEL: It's this way.
CUT TO:
(Abruzzi has just finished drilling the last hole).
ABRUZZI: Yea...oohh... yes... We're through.
SUCRE: Time to put this theory to test. I guess we start chipping away now?
ABRUZZI: Right on. She's all yours pal.
(Abruzzi hands Sucre a rod. Sucre begins hitting the wall and it starts to give way. Soon there is a hole made enough for one person to slide through. Abruzzi and Sucre share a good laugh...)
ABRUZZI: We did it.
CUT TO:
Michael has found an exit for Sara.
MICHAEL: That's it (pointing to the door).
SARA: Wait, I can't leave you here.
MICHAEL: (Humorously) You don't have a choice, I'm one of the bad guys, remember?
The Prisoners are still looking for them. They're getting closer. sn*pers are aligning themselves on the rooftop. One can see Michael and Sara and is aiming for Michael.
SARA: What are you going to do?
MICHAEL: Go back to my cell, stay out of the way.
(Sara sees the red light from the g*n on Michael's shirt. She gets worried)
SARA: Michael....
MICHAEL: What? (He looks around and sees the red dot on his shirt.)
SARA: They see us...
MICHAEL: You have to go.
SARA: I can't... they'll k*ll you.
(Michael looks scared...)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
CUT TO:
Michael and Sara.
MICHAEL: Go out the door. I'll drop to the floor.
SARA: They're sharp sh**t Michael. They won't miss.
MICHAEL: That's why you can't stay here.
PRISONER: What's going on? (Seems as if they've caught up with Michael and Sara)
MICHAEL: (Pushes Sara through the door) GO!!
(Michael drops to the floor. The sn*per sh**t but he hits the other prisoners. Michael crawls towards the door and manages to get back into the visitation room. Sara is safely taken to the Prison grounds by the guards.)
CUT TO:
Washington DC. Veronica and Nick are in a parking garage. A minivan drives up next to them.
VERONICA: Who's this?
NICK: That's my guy.
GUY: Hey.
NICK: Nice ride.
GUY: Yea... you like that? Cop auction. 300 bucks. You must be Veronica. Whoever tipped off the cops about Lincoln Burrows called from this number. It wasn't an easy trace. I hope you're not too bummed.
NICK: Why? What's the problem?
GUY: It's a payphone.
CUT TO:
Veronica and Nick are at a payphone in the middle of town.
NICK: This is it. 11th and Constitution.
VERONICA: Anyone could have made that call.
NICK: Any one of the million people who pass through here every day. That's empty.
VERONICA: What about that?
NICK: Federal Energy Commission, that's interesting.
VERONICA: Where are you going?
NICK: Going to see if this guy knows what's in there. Excuse me, do you know what...Ok. Thanks (Comes back to veronica). Hey, it is a regional headquarters for a company called Ecofield.
VERONICA: Terrence Steadman's company.
NICK: That's right.
(Suddenly the payphone rings. They both look suspicious and Veronica picks up. )
VERONICA: Hello?
GUY ON OTHER LINE: Veronica Donovan?
VERONICA: Who is this?
GUY ON OTHER LINE: that's the problem Veronica. You ask too many questions. Now I have one for you. Is Lincoln Burrows really worth it?
NICK: Gimme the phone. Who is this?
GUY ON OTHER LINE: Nick Savrin. I just want to let you know. As of now, the both of you are d*ad.
(Nick hangs up and he and Veronica flee the area)
CUT TO:
A-Wing.
LINCOLN: Michael!! Michael! Michael:
T-BAG: Wowowowow!! I didn't touch him. Ask him. Things have changed since we last met. Relax partner, I'm in on it now.
(Lincoln sees Sucre and Abruzzi coming out from the hole behind the toilet. He grabs Sucre.)
LINCOLN: Why'd you take Abruzzi down there?
SUCRE: I didn't take him down there. He just showed up.
LINCOLN: And the pedophile. He thinks he's in.
SUCRE: I know...
LINCOLN: SHUTUP! Where's Michael? Where's Mike? (He goes looking for Michael) Michael! Michael!
(Michael enters A-Wing, looking at the destruction all around caused by the riot. Someone grabs his shoulder. He turns around. It's Lincoln. They both embrace in a loving manner.)
LINCOLN: Where have you been?
MICHAEL: All over. Are you alright?
LINCOLN: Yea... Are you?
MICHAEL: Yes.
They both go up to Michael's cell.
CUT TO:
The Prison grounds. Sara is walking with two guards.
SARA: I'm ok... I'm ok...
POPE: Bellick!
BELLICK: She's walking... that's a good sign.
POPE: Yea...Street observation. Maybe you'd like to share that with the Governor.
BELLICK: I was tense. I was ...
POPE: Next time you bad mouth me in front of my superiors, there are going to be serious consequences. Do I make myself clear, Captain?
BELLICK: Yes Sir.
POPE: Good...
GOVERNOR: Sara...Sara... Sara.
SARA: Dad.
GOVERNOR: Sara, are you alright? Are you ok?
GOVERNOR: I told you. I told you when you took this job I knew something like this was going to happen. Didn't I? I told you something like this was going to happen.
SARA: God Dad, how about ‘I'm happy to see you alive'?
GOVERNOR: Sweetheart, I just want you to see what you're doing to yourself. I mean there no one forcing you to be here.
SARA: I know. Thanks Dad. (Disappointed, she leaves)
GOVERNOR: Alright. Let's clean this mess up.
CUT TO:
Michael's cell.
MICHAEL: What is going on?
SUCRE: We did it fish, we did it. There was nothing like it. Those little hooker holes were right on.
MICHAEL: Alright. Let's get everyone out of here, especially him (referring to Bob).
T-BAG: Getting him out of here, I'm going to take care of him myself.
MICHAEL: You're not going to k*ll him.
BOB: I'm not coming back here.
T-BAG: It's over. We don't need him no more.
MICHAEL: (Firmly). You're NOT going to k*ll him.
T-BAG: You're so stupid. You're going to let him walk out that front door after all he's seen.
(Lincoln gets Bob out)
T-BAG: After all he's seen.
MICHAEL: Get out!!
LINCOLN: (To Bob) Keep your mouth shut and turn left.
MICHAEL: GET OUT!!
ABRUZZI: (To bob) If we have a problem, we know where to find you.
ABRUZZI: (To T-BAG) Forget about it. Just forget about it.
(T-bag hides in one of the cells and when Abruzzi passes, he goes out and s*ab Bob. Bob then falls over the railing and dies.)
MICHAEL: NO!!!!
T-BAG: One for the team.
(Michael looks distraught.)
CUT TO:
Prison grounds.
SARA: Ok, so this is the complete list of the injured and the d*ad. And that's the whole list? Thank you. Very much. ..(She sees someone) Hey Ron.
RON: Dr. Tancredi: Glad to see you made it out alive.
SARA: Yea, me too... (laughs). Umm... question. Why did your department assign inmates on PI to do a toxic mould removal project?
RON: (confused) What toxic mould project?
SARA: In the...uh... the cross base in A-Wing.
RON: (still confused) PI didn't go there. We'd never assign inmates to do that.
SARA: (Confused) Ok. Sorry.
RON: No problem. (He leaves)
(Sara is left wondering/confused).
CUT TO:
Michael in his cell. He stares the wall thinking/wondering. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x07 - Riots, Drills and the Devil Part 2"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene
(Camera sh*t of Michael's back tattoos.)
Michael (v/o): Seventeen days from now, they strap my brother to an electric chair. Send 50,000 volts coursing through his body for a crime he didn't commit. I'm here to make sure that doesn't happen.
(Camera sh**t through the inside walls of the prison, showing the pipes system.)
Michael: I've been in Fox River nearly three weeks now. In that time I've managed to get out the back of my cell and into the old steam pipes that run beneath the prison.
(Camera shows Westmoreland's cat Marilyn inside the pipes system.)
Michael: Those pipes are our way out.
1. EXT. Prison yard. Day.
(Michael is sitting with Sucre and Abruzzi.)
Michael: Think of this place like it's a map of the US. Our cell over there, that's New York City. The infirmary, our exit, that's California. The pipes beneath our feet that connect the two -
Sucre: Route 66.
Michael: Route 66. Our ticket out of here.
Abruzzi: I assume we're doing this at night.
Abruzzi: We're locked up, Fish. And your boy is in solitary.
(Michael looks over at Lincoln, who is in his segregated yard.)
Abruzzi: How we just gonna fly out of our cages and right into your cell, right into New York City?
Michael: You're not. You're gonna meet me halfway, in St. Louis. Route 66 runs directly beneath that building. It's the only building sitting on top of those tunnels. All we gotta do is get in there, on PI, and dig ourselves an on-ramp. Shortly after, we h*t the infirmary. Then we'll be outside those walls.
Sucre: What's in there?
Michael: It's an old storage room. I figure John here can pull all the strings he needs.
(Camera shows the blueprints, focusing in on the storage room.)
Abruzzi: It's not that easy, Fish. That's a restricted area. I gotta be able to justify it to the bulls, you know, there's gotta be some actual work to be done in there for me to get in there, you follow?
Michael: Then you'd better figure it out. 'Cause if we don't get in that room, we're not getting out of here.
T-Bag: I'm feeling kind of left out. New York, California, St. Louis. What are we discussing?
Michael: We're talking baseball, actually.
T-Bag. Huh. Well that's a subject I just happen to know quite a bit about.
Abruzzi: What a shame. The conversation's over.
T-Bag: Really, now. That any way to treat a team-mate?
(Abruzzi just looks at him. They get up from the bench and start to walk away.)
T-Bag: I'm coming along on this endeavour whether you like it or not. 'Cause I got a hell of a singing voice otherwise.
(As they are lining up to go back inside, Abruzzi turns around to Michael.)
Abruzzi: I won't take that piece of crap along. I won't do it.
Sucre: Me neither.
Michael: We won't have to. He'll be out of the picture soon enough.
2. INT. Pope's office. Day.
(Warden Pope stands before Tyler Hudson's widow, Shauna. She tenderly strokes the photograph on his I.D. Bellick is also in the room.)
Pope: The state provides £25,000 insurance, plus donations from the Illinois Corrections Officers'
Shauna: That's the last thing on my mind right now, Warden. Do you know who k*lled him?
Pope: We have some leads. But I can promise you this. We are not gonna rest until we find out what happened.
Shauna: His pictures are missing. He had a photo of our daughter in here.
Pope: Not to worry. We'll find them.
(Shauna stands up and breaks down into tears.)
Shauna: I begged him not to take this job.
Pope: Shauna, I am so sorry.
Bellick: I'll walk you to your car.
Pope: Captain, I need to speak with you for a second.
Bellick (to Shauna): I'll meet you in the hallway.
(She goes out and he closes the door.)
Pope: I want the son of a bitch who did this. Now you do whatever you need to do to find him. You understand.
3. EXT. Outside Veronica's apartment block. Day.
(Nick unloads boxes from her car.)
Nick: We got five boxes; you wanna give me a hand?
(Veronica doesn't reply. She's looking around, nervously. Camera watches them from across the street, as if there is somebody there.)
Nick: Veronica. That phone call was textbook scare tactics. That's what they want. They want to scare us from doing what they know we can do.
Veronica: And what's that?
Nick: Expose them.
Lukasz: Is this guy bothering you again, Miss Donovan?
Veronica: No, Lukasz. The other night was my fault. It was a misunderstanding.
Lukasz: Okay. But if you need anything...
Veronica: Trust me. You'll be the first person I call.
(Nick goes to take out more boxes.)
Lukasz: Here, let me.
(Veronica and Nick smile at each other. Lukasz takes the trolley and pulls it towards the apartments.)
Nick (to Veronica): Those boxes contain seven years of criminal appellant work. If there's a precedent in there somewhere that can help us suspend Lincoln's execution we're gonna find it.
4. INT. Apartment corridor. Day.
Veronica: You can just leave those by the door Lukasz, I'll bring them in.
Lukasz: Oh, that's okay. I've got your key right here.
Nick: If I didn't know better I would say Lukasz was sweet on you.
Veronica: Very funny.
(Lukasz takes the key out and puts it in the lock. As soon as he opens the door, a b*mb explodes, knocking Nick and Veronica back off their feet.)
OPENING CREDITS
5. EXT. Prison yard. Day.
(Michael is by the fence, his hands on the mesh. Abruzzi walks up behind him.)
Abruzzi: f*re.
Michael: What?
Abruzzi: f*re. We burn the place down.
Michael: How's that gonna help us?
Abruzzi: A few years ago, the chapel burnt down and the DOC realised they had some toxic issues. You know, asbestos, lead paint, you name it. They couldn't find a contractor so they put the inmates on the job. We spent like five, six hours in there at a time. But the good news is, no guards came around almost at all.
Michael: Can you get us in there?
(Abruzzi starts to nod, when they are interrupted by T-Bag and Seth, who is holding his pocket. Michael and Abruzzi turn around.)
T-Bag: I've been doing a little thinking. (He slaps Seth's hand away, and walks closer) I'm gonna need a PI card, aren't I? I mean, that's where this whole thing is happening, isn't it?
Abruzzi: It's on its way.
T-Bag (laughs): You're slow-walking me, aren't you?
Abruzzi: Why would I do such a thing?
T-Bag: You think Bellick's gonna pop me for shanking that C.O., Bob. Maybe you'll take a little walk and tell him for yourself, right? And I'll be out of your hair for good. Well, I got news for you. If I go down for k*lling Bob, believe me I'm gonna take a little walk of my own. Tell 'em about that hole you got behind your toilet. So. How 'bout that PI card?
6. INT. Visiting room. Day.
LJ: I don't know if you remember, but that summer before fifth grade, when I stayed with you a couple weeks, and you thought I broke your glass coffee table?
Lincoln: Mm?
LJ: And when you came home, I denied it? But you told me you could care less about the coffee table, you just didn't want me lying to you? And you said I'd feel a lot better if I just told you the truth. And you promised not to be angry.
Lincoln: I remember.
LJ: Well, I broke it.
Lincoln: I know.
LJ: You know, if there's anything that you want to get off your chest, you can tell me. And I promise I won't get angry.
Lincoln: You want to know if I k*lled that guy.
(LJ looks at him. Lincoln sighs.)
Lincoln: I uh, went there planning to do something wrong. But I didn't k*ll that guy. Someone's working hard to make it look like I did. Anyway, there's a chance the execution may not happen.
LJ: What?
Lincoln: Veronica's working on my case, and I got a reporter coming today who actually believes I'm innocent. So I ain't d*ad yet. LJ, look at me. You gotta have faith, kid. Just have a little faith.
7. EXT. Veronica's apartment block. Day.
(The f*re service and police cars are dealing with the aftermath of the expl*si*n.)
(Kellerman and Hale's car drives up and stops. The cell in the car rings and he flips it open.)
Kellerman: Kellerman.
Caroline Reynolds: Well?
Kellerman: Taken care of.
Caroline: Good. Now move on to the second thing.
Hale: If you could see what we're lookin' at, believe me, Burrows is gonna get the message.
(Camera shows the EMT guys loading a body bag onto the ambulance.)
Caroline: Which is what you've assured me of before. Yet that message keeps getting returned to sender. Now move on the second thing and report back.
Kellerman: We're headed there now. (He flips the cell off.) You're thinking too much.
Hale: Yeah. God forbid.
8. INT. Prison cells. Day.
(Bellick is searching the cells on the opposite side of the block to Michael's. Sucre and Michael watch him from their locked cell.)
Sucre: He's gonna toss every cell in this block until he finds the k*ller. He tosses this one, he's gonna find the hole back there in a heartbeat.
Michael: I know.
Sucre: We gotta turn T-Bag in.
(They both look down at T-Bag's cell. He is holding a mirror up to see if the guards are coming, and looks up at them.)
Sucre: That's the only way it'll stop.
Michael: If we turn him in, he'll talk.
Sucre: So we're screwed either way, aren't we?
9. EXT. Storage room. Day.
(Abruzzi and his PI crew walk outside the old storage room, all carrying brand new packs of towels.)
Lincoln: Which one?
Michael: Right there. St. Louis.
(They file into the room and put the towels down. Michael looks at a door inside, the sign reads: 'No inmates beyond this point'. Sucre moves to guard the main door. Abruzzi nods. Michael opens the door. At once, several COs point their g*n at them.)
C.O.: What the hell are you doing in here?
Michael (raises hands): Cleanup detail. We thought this was storage.
(The inmates raise their hands.)
C.O.: Does it look like storage to you, you idiot? It's a restricted area, it's a CO break room. Now back it up.
(No-one moves. The C.O. cocks his g*n.)
C.O.: Back it up, now!
Abruzzi: Sorry, Officer. It won't happen again.
(They all leave, quickly.)
ACT 2.
10. INT. Storage area. Day.
Sucre: A freakin' break room? Are you kidding me?
Michael: They must have changed it since the retrofit.
Sucre: The bulls are camped out in there. They'll never leave.
Abruzzi: You got a back up plan?
Michael: There isn't one. It's the only room sitting on top of that pipe. It's the only way out, and we gotta get back in there.
Abruzzi: Impossible, Fish.
Lincoln (by the window): Maybe not. Check it out.
(They all look over; Westmoreland is leaving the guard's room carrying a tray.)
Sucre: I don't get it. How come they let him into the guard's room?
Lincoln: He's a trustee. One with the high security clearance.
Sucre: Why him?
Lincoln: He can be trusted.
Michael: How does one become a trustee?
Lincoln: Just have a spotless record for the last 30 years.
Sucre: Pretty much counts all of us out.
Michael: Which means we gotta get him on board.
Lincoln: Forget it. The guy's a boy scout.
11. EXT. Prison yard. Day.
Michael: Mr Westmoreland.
Westmoreland: Hey, Michael.
Michael: You found your cat yet?
Westmoreland: Still MIA.
Michael: You could always get another.
Westmoreland: I don't want another. Besides, it's a moot point. She was grandfathered. Once she's gone, no more pets.
Michael: Wouldn't be an issue if you were on the outside.
Westmoreland: Still tugging on that leash, eh?
Michael: Yup. And this is the part where I extend a formal invitation.
Westmoreland: 'Cause you still think I'm DB Cooper?
Michael: I don't think. I know. The way I see it, you're in here doing 60 to life for vehicular manslaughter. It would have been 20, but the car you were in was stolen. Felony m*rder rule cubes every sentence. And here you are. Hitting that woman was an accident. But the car? No-one accidentally steals a car. So the question is, why would Charles Westmoreland be in Arizona boosting a car ten states away from where he lived...
(Camera sh*t of a man breaking the window of a car. Michael's fingers tracing routes on a map, between pins that are stuck into it.)
Michael: ...and only ten miles from the Mexican border? And why, two days before that, would someone make a phone call to his wife from a motel in Portland...
(Camera sh*t: a newspaper with the headline 'D.B. Cooper Myth Still Alive Despite Conviction'. Michael pins a spot marked 'Phone call made.')
Michael: ...a stone's throw away from the airport, out of which, shortly after, flight 305 was hijacked by one DB Cooper? Seven hours after the hijacking, records show Charles Westmoreland was treated for a busted knee at a free clinic in Brigham City.
(Camera sh*t: a man in a wheelchair clutching his knee being rushed through the ER.)
Michael: Only way to get from Portland, Oregon, to Brigham City, Utah, in seven hours - is in a car breaking every land speed record known to man, or flying.
(Camera sh*t: Michael tracing the route from where the phone call was made to where he had his knee treated and joining the pins together.)
It's public record DB Cooper jumped out of that 727 about an hour after takeoff. Taking a dive at 10,000 feet with 1.5 million in cash and a hastily packed parachute...
(Camera sh*t: a man parachuting out of a plane.)
Michael: ...might make for a pretty rough landing.
(Westmoreland rubs his knee.)
Michael: Rough enough to shatter some bones. Maybe even a left knee. DB Cooper would have had a car waiting for him when he landed. According to DMV records, in 1971, Charles Westmoreland was the proud owner of a '65 Chevy Nova. As it happens, a '65 Chevy Nova with the registration number scraped off was found abandoned with a blown gasket along the Arizona border.
(sh*t of a car with a smoking engine, and a limping man looking into it.)
Michael: A mile or two away from where you accidentally h*t that woman. With your stolen car.
Westmoreland: Interesting story.
Michael: Interesting man.
Westmoreland: But you didn't answer one thing.
Michael: What's that?
Westmoreland: Maybe I did hurt my knee. I did steal that car. And I did accidentally h*t that poor lady. But how could I have hijacked a plane in Portland on November 24th, when I was in Folsom finishing up a 30-day drunk and disorderly?
(Michael looks confused.)
Westmoreland: I hope you weren't hanging this whole escape on that money, 'cause I'm not the one in possession of it. (He stands and pats Michael on the shoulder.) Thanks for the invite though.
12. EXT. Somewhere in Chicago. Day.
(Nick tapes bandages to his burnt arms and winces. Veronica is standing at the roadside, away from the car.)
Nick: Veronica. Veronica, come on. We're okay.
Veronica: How is this okay, Nick? Somebody just tried to k*ll us.
Nick: I know. I was there.
Veronica: Then act like it. Okay? We just watched a man burn to death right in front of us! My God...Lukasz...my God...
Nick: It's okay. It's okay.
Veronica: We just left him there.
Nick: There was nothing we could do for him. He was d*ad as soon as he opened the door.
Veronica: I am trying so hard to understand all this, Nick. Who these people are, what they want. How we just walked away from there without even calling the police.
Nick: We did it because these people we're dealing with won't stop until we're d*ad. Now, if they think we're d*ad like they do right now, maybe we get a little breathing room. You know, we figure out what our next move is.
Veronica: No, we should go to the police.
Nick: I've been telling myself the same thing, but you know what? They're bigger than the police. We go to the authorities, it's broadcasting to them that we're still alive, and then we got that target right on our backs again.
Veronica: We can't hide forever.
Nick: No, no. Maybe not forever. But...I think I know a place we can, at least for a little while.
13. INT. Michael's cell. Day.
Sucre: We'll just have to go in there ourselves then.
Michael: Like I said, unless the old man's in, it's not possible. And even if it were, with the guards in there there's no way in hell they're just gonna sit back and watch us start a f*re.
Sucre: See, I already figured that part out. I've been thinking.
Michael: And?
Sucre: That thing you're doing in the Pope's office? You using rubber cement?
Michael: Yeah.
Sucre: Can you get some out of there?
Michael: Maybe, why?
Sucre: Look, there's a coffee maker in the guard's room, right? I got a hook up with one of my boys in the kitchen. If we can get rubber cement in the bottom of that coffee pot, when the burner goes on... (he lights a match and laughs).
Michael: It's a good idea. But without Westmoreland, we're never getting in that room.
Sucre: He doesn't want any part in the escape?
Michael: No.
Sucre: Then what does he want? He's gotta want something. Everybody wants something.
14. INT. Inside prison walls. Day.
(Michael approaches Marilyn the cat.)
Michael: Come on, kitty. Come on. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. (he picks up the cat and it meows.) Yes, that's a good girl. Come on.
15. EXT. Prison yard. Day.
Westmoreland: I don't believe it. Thank you.
Michael: You're welcome.
Westmoreland: Where'd you find her?
Michael: In the yard, by the chapel.
Westmoreland: Why do I get the feeling there's a string attached to this?
Michael: Not a string. Just a favour.
Westmoreland: I'm not DB Cooper.
Michael: That's all right. 'Cause it's not gonna take DB Cooper to do what I need done.
Westmoreland: What's that?
Michael: All I want you to do is take a certain coffee pot into the guard room at a certain time, and turn the burner on.
Westmoreland: Why?
Michael: Let's just say it'd be in everyone's best interests if a f*re were to start in there.
Westmoreland: Marilyn, did you think he was the arsonist type?
Michael (laughs): I'm not. I'm the cleanup crew type. The type that gets access to all kinds of tools.
Westmoreland: Michael, I'm grateful for this. I really am. But I've made it a point to keep my nose clean ever since I walked into this place. 32 years without a blemish. If that parole board date ever comes, I want to be ready. I can't jeopardise that.
(Michael nods slowly, then turns away.)
Westmoreland: Michael. Thanks, though. Really.
16. INT. Infirmary. Day.
(Sara is giving Michael his sh*t.)
Michael: After what you went through in the riot, I thought you might take a day off.
Sara: I'm fine. I, uh...I couldn't find anybody to cover for me anyway.
Michael: I hope you don't feel like you owe me anything.
Sara: I do. I'm, uh...I really appreciate what you did for me.
Michael: But?
Sara: But you told me that you had been up in the crawlspace for PI, and PI was never assigned to go there.
(Michael looks at her for a few seconds.)
Michael: We're done here, right?
Sara: Michael, don't be like that. I just...I just want some answers.
Michael: Thanks for the sh*t, Doc.
17. INT. Visiting room. Day.
Sue: Sue Parsons, Headline Press.
Lincoln: Thanks for coming by.
Sue: I appreciate you taking the time.
Lincoln: I appreciate you looking at my case.
Sue: So, what can you tell me? From what I understand, you have numerous people working on your behalf as we speak.
Lincoln: Yeah, um...well, Veronica Donovan, she's my attorney, and Nick Savrinn. He works at Project Justice.
Sue: Savrinn. Okay. Have they gotten very far?
Lincoln: Nothing to go to court with. Not yet, anyway.
Sue: You ever think it's just time to let go? Accept what happened?
Lincoln: Let go, yeah. Accept what happened? Never. I mean, would you? If someone had set you up, destroyed your life?
Sue: I guess I'm thinking in terms of the pain and anguish it's caused your friends and loved ones.
Lincoln: People who care about me, they believe me. That's all that matters to me right now. That's all I got.
Sue: You have a son. Lincoln Junior. LJ.
Lincoln: Yeah, why?
Sue: I have a source that tells me if you accept what happened and stop fighting your execution, your son will be left out of this. If not, I hope you said goodbye to him when he left here this morning.
(They both stand.)
Lincoln: Who are you?
Sue: One Burrows is gonna die. Up to you which one.
(She walks away. Lincoln shouts after her.)
Lincoln: Who are you? Who are you?! Hey! Don't let her go, she thr*at my son! Please! No!
(Two guards take Lincoln away, still yelling.)
18. INT. LJ's house. Day.
(The doorbell rings. LJ, drinking from a bottle of drink, answers it.)
Hale: LJ Burrows?
LJ: Yeah.
Hale: I'm Officer Hale, Juvenile Court. We just need to do a quick survey of your residence to make sure your environment reflects the terms of your probation.
(He goes to walk inside but LJ doesn't move.)
Hale: Your parents home?
LJ: No. But they'll be home any minute.
Hale: Well, then. I'll get started.
(He walks past LJ into the house.)
19. EXT. LJ's house. Day.
(LJ's mother and stepfather unload groceries from the car.)
Adrian: LJ and his dad. You never said how it went this morning.
Lisa: It sounded fine. Of course, everything a 15-year-old boy tells his mother is fine.
20. INT. LJ's house. Day.
LJ: No offence, but can I see some kind of identification?
Hale: Sure (He goes in his inside jacket pocket.)
Lisa (in the next room): LJ, we're home.
(Hale pulls out his g*n, points it at LJ and puts a finger to his lips.)
Lisa: LJ, you here?
(She walks around the corner, holding her cell phone. She sees LJ first, then the g*n, and then Hale.)
Lisa: Oh my God.
Hale: Drop the phone, lady. This is the only warning I'm giving you. Drop it.
(He tries to keep his eyes on LJ, but Lisa doesn't drop the phone either. In the end, he turns to point the g*n at Lisa. LJ immediately throws the drinks bottle towards him.)
LJ: RUN!
(The bottle smashes into a glass picture frame hanging on the wall, which also smashes.)
Lisa: No!
(LJ runs down the stairs to the basement level and over to the window. Lisa runs into the kitchen and hides behind the table: she dials on the phone.)
CUT TO: LJ, struggling with the window. He eventually gets it open.
CUT TO: Lisa, and the phone ringing.
Lisa: Pick up. Pick up, please. Please answer, come on.
(Camera pans up to show Hale is standing over her, pointing his g*n at her head.)
21. EXT. LJ's house. Day.
(LJ climbs out of the window and is about to run, but Kellerman speaks from behind him.)
Kellerman: LJ. We're not here to hurt you.
(LJ flips open the cell phone in his hand.)
Kellerman: Uh uh - 9, 1, 1...send. You really think you're gonna get to four buttons before I get to one?
(He opens his jacket to show LJ his g*n.)
Kellerman: Come on.
(Behind him, Adrian appears with a baseball bat. He hits him across the back with it, and Kellerman lands on the ground.)
Adrian: LJ, get out of here!
(Kellerman turns around and sh**t him once, in the chest. Adrian falls forward on top of him. Kellerman struggles to push him off and when he does, LJ is gone.)
CUT TO: LJ at the front of his house. The front door is open.
LJ: Mom?
(He stops short and gags, putting a hand over his mouth as he sees his mother slumped over the doorstep, covered in blood.)
CUT TO: Kellerman, round the back, standing over Adrian's d*ad body.
ACT 3.
22. EXT. Street. Day.
(LJ walks along the street, terrified. He is wearing no shoes as he was barefoot when he ran from the house. His cell phone rings, and he answers it.)
Kellerman: Where are you going, LJ?
LJ: What do you want from me?
Kellerman: Cooperation. That's all.
LJ: You want cooperation? I know what you look like, you son of a bitch! I'm going to the police.
Kellerman: Going to the police. I don't think that's such a good idea LJ, I mean, with your prints on the m*rder w*apon and all.
LJ: I didn't touch the m*rder w*apon.
(Kellerman is lifting LJ's prints and placing the tape on the g*n handle.)
Kellerman: Of course you didn't. I know that and you know that. I just don't think you're gonna have much luck convincing Ballistics of that.
LJ: Who the hell are you people?
Kellerman: Just concerned neighbours. Heard a bit of a ruckus at the Rix' house. Gosh, you know, I guess we should have seen it coming. All the signs were there. Drug use, decline in academic performance. But we didn't think he'd ever do something like this.
LJ: No-one's gonna believe that!
Kellerman: Yes they will. And when they catch you, and they will catch you LJ, they're gonna try you as an adult. You know what that means? We can help you, LJ. We're the only hope you got.
LJ: No you're not. (He hangs up and runs off.)
(Kellerman puts the g*n with LJ's prints on it next to his d*ad mother's body.)
Kellerman: She made that choice, not you.
Hale: Let's find the kid.
23. INT. Westmoreland's cell. Day.
(Westmoreland is reading on his bunk, holding his cat. Bellick appears in the cell doorway.)
Bellick: You got Marilyn back.
Westmoreland: Sure did.
Bellick: That's good. How long ago you quit smoking?
Westmoreland: Uh, a little over nine years now.
(Bellick takes out a cigarette.)
Bellick: You don't mind, do you?
(Westmoreland shrugs. Bellick lights up, and comes into the cell.)
Bellick: I feel a kinship with you, Charles. More than any other con here. And we've seen a lot. Haven't we?
Westmoreland: Sure have.
Bellick: Then correct me if I'm wrong. I've always treated you fair.
Westmoreland: I've always appreciated that fact.
Bellick: I've known Bob since he was 18 years old. I got him this job. (On the verge of tears.) You can imagine how responsible I feel.
Westmoreland: I can't help you with that, boss.
Bellick: I think you can. Word is he died in front of your cell. And you were right here when it happened.
(Camera sh*t of Bob's body falling over the railing and landing on the floor. Westmoreland shakes his head, looks up at T-Bag.)
Westmoreland: We've both been around long enough to know that when a con starts that snitching business, he's not long for this world. Don't put me in that position, boss.
(Bellick's face twitches.)
Bellick: If you don't tell me who k*lled Bob before I leave this cell, our friendship goes with it.
(Westmoreland stares at his book. Bellick stands up, and puts his hand lightly on the cat's head.)
Bellick: That's a nice cat.
24. INT. Cells. Day.
(Trokey stands outside his cell, talking to T-Bag.)
Trokey: Westmoreland knows. And his jaw ain't that strong.
(He walks off into his cell. T-Bag cracks his neck, and looks up to see Abruzzi staring at him. He pulls his pocket out, but Seth isn't looking. T-Bag slaps him round the head. Seth reluctantly takes hold of the pocket, and they walk into their cell.)
25. INT. Sara's office. Day.
(Sara looks at Michael's prison file, and photographs.)
Katie: What's this?
Sara: Nothing.
Katie: You stalker.
Sara: I am not a stalker. I just...I don't get it.
Katie: What is there to get?
Sara: He doesn't fit the profile. Right? The man's got a graduate degree. He lives in my neighbourhood. Guys like that hang out in Streetville, they drink single malt scotch, they pay $200 for Cubs tickets. They don't rob banks.
Katie: Maybe he couldn't afford season tickets. Maybe that's why he robbed the bank.
Sara: Thank you. I'm actually being serious.
Katie: Can I ask you something?
Sara: Yeah.
Katie: Why do you care so much?
Sara: 'Cause he lied to me.
Katie: They all lie to you.
Sara: Maybe because he's the one guy in here I can actually get to. The one guy I can make a difference with.
Katie: Go home, girl. You keep burning it at both ends like this, you're gonna drive yourself crazy.
Sara: Goodnight.
26. EXT. Prison yard. Day.
(Pope and Lincoln are in the yard, with two C.O.s)
Pope: I'm sorry, Burrows. Both of them were d*ad by the time the paramedics got there.
Lincoln: What about my son?
Pope: He's missing. Police are treating him as a fugitive.
Lincoln: Fugitive.
Pope: They found his prints on the m*rder w*apon.
Lincoln: That's impossible. I...I, uh...I need to call him.
Pope: No, no, you can't do that.
Lincoln: What do you mean 'you can't do that'? His life's in danger!
Pope: Look, Burrows. The police have instructed me that this is an ongoing investigation. And as such, any contact you make with your son could potentially aid and abet him as a fugitive. I'm sorry.
(He walks away.)
Lincoln: Warden, please!
Man (o/s): Front gate open!
(Lincoln looks over to the open gate where a van is driving through. He stares at the exit. Camera sh*t of two guards with g*n standing on a high ledge. The gate closes.)
Patterson: Let's go.
27. INT. Prison cells. Day.
(Inmates are looking into Westmoreland's cell.)
Inmate#1: That's messed up, man.
Inmate#2: Jeez. Does he even know?
Inmate#1: Don't think so.
Inmate#2: Man, here he is.
(They move away as Westmoreland approaches his cell, from the shower room. He stops at the door and sees his cat, Marilyn, lying d*ad on the lower bunk. He kneels in front of her, picks her up and cradles her.)
Bellick (o/s): Go ahead, toss 'em.
(Westmoreland looks up at Bellick on the second tier; their eyes meet.)
28. INT. Trokey's cell. Day.
(T-Bag stands outside the cell. Trokey sits up on his bunk and looks over.)
Trokey: What's up, T?
T-Bag: We're family, right?
Trokey: Hell yeah we are.
T-Bag: Well, I'm in a quandary and I need your help
Trokey: Name it.
T-Bag (leaning on the edge of the bunk): Bellick's squeezing tighter and tighter round here and you were right, eventually somebody's mouth is gonna start moving. Thing is, Trokey, if I get popped for this, what with my priors and predisposition to violent behaviour, I'll spend the rest of my life in the SHU. But if you come forward with only a drug conviction and a whole lotta remorse...
Trokey: I can't do that, T.
T-Bag: I ain't finished yet.
Trokey: No need. I ain't going down for m*rder no hack. I mean, you understand that, don't you? You ain't mad are you?
T-Bag: No, Trokey. I'm not mad.
(He leaves the cell. Trokey looks suspicious.)
29. INT. Break room. Day.
(Westmoreland walks into the break room and puts a coffee pot on the burner.)
(He walks over to Bellick's locker, and takes a cigarette out of the packet that's in there. He looks up at a wooden board on the wall, 'Fox River C.O.'s Of The Month'. Bellick's picture is the biggest and in the middle. Westmoreland flicks the lighter on.)
30. EXT. Outside storage room. Day.
Lincoln: I need out. I gotta find him.
Michael: You will. Both of us. Soon.
Lincoln: They're coming after my family, Michael.
Michael: You gotta trust me. We're gonna get this...
Lincoln (interrupting): "We're gonna get this done". How? Tell me, Michael. Tell me. You can't, can you? I gotta get out of here now. LJ's in trouble.
Patterson (o/s): Scofield. How about it?
Michael (to Lincoln): Just stick with me.
(Lincoln looks over at the front gate again. Another van is driving in. Patterson shouts to the driver and goes over when it slows down.)
Patterson: Yo, Bruce. Hey!
Bruce: What's up, man?
(Michael picks up another bag to carry over to Lincoln, and notices he is gone.)
31. EXT. Outside storage room. Day.
(Lincoln is waiting and hiding round the corner. He looks up at the guards with g*n on the wall ledge, then at the guards with g*n by the front gate. They are in conversation and not watching. Lincoln goes to make a run for it, but then Michael's hands grab his shoulders and pull him back.)
Michael: If you go out there they will g*n you down!
Lincoln: I don't care anymore.
Michael: Well, you'd better start thinking about what you're doing. 'Cause you can't help LJ if you're d*ad.
Patterson (o/s): What the hell's goin' on in here? Huh? We got a problem?
Michael (firmly): No.
Patterson: Well then, get on your feet. Let's go!
(Behind Patterson, black smoke is billowing from the break room. A f*re alarm sounds.)
Man (o/s): We got a f*re!
Patterson (looking round): Son of a... (He talks into his radio) What the hell's goin' on at building two? Come in.
PA: f*re in the CO break room
(Michael and Lincoln look at each other.)
ACT 4.
32. EXT. Prison yard. Day.
(A f*re truck comes round the corner, as some inmates watch it from behind the mesh fence. Westmoreland is one of them. He walks away, past Michael.)
Michael: Thanks.
Westmoreland: I didn't do it for you.
33. INT. Break room. Day.
f*re Officer: We found the source. Someone in here smoke these? Bilsons?
(He hands it to Pope.)
Pope: Bellick.
(Bellick looks stunned. Before he can reply, another CO enters the room.)
C.O.: Captain Bellick, I've got someone to see you.
(Bellick turns to see Seth.)
Bellick: What the hell do you want?
Seth: I know who k*lled Bob, sir.
34. INT. Prison cells. Day.
(Trokey and T-Bag are talking outside their cells. Trokey notices the C.O.s walking in first.)
Trokey: Uh-oh.
(They both turn around. Bellick walks closer, past T-Bag who looks relieved, and into Trokey's cell. He lifts up the mattress and takes something out. He moves over to Trokey and shows him the photograph of Bob's daughter.)
Trokey: I don't know how that got there.
(The guards grab him and drag him away.)
Trokey: It's a mock. It's a mock! You set me up!
T-Bag: Bad enough you k*lled a guard. Don't try to lay it off on somebody else now.
Trokey (yelling): You set me up! He set me up!
(T-Bag turns to Seth and ruffles his hair, then goes into his cell. Seth looks very upset.)
35. INT. New Glarus. Day.
(Veronica and Nick drive up to a deserted cabin.)
Veronica: Wow. Your father lived here?
Nick: Yeah. He wanted some place that was completely off the grid. A place the government didn't know existed. Tapped into the power lines. A well supplies the place with water. Last few years of his life he barely even left the property.
Veronica: It's...
Nick: Yeah. You spend so many years fighting cops, prosecutors, judges, trying to take your freedom for something you didn't do. You use every cent you had in attorney's fees and you wind up losing anyway...15 years of his life. Almost all of his son's childhood. I guess I can forgive him for wanting to hide away. Be left alone. We'll be safe here until we figure out our next move.
36. EXT. Prison yard. Day.
(The PI crew are walking down to the break room. T-Bag runs up to the fence.)
T-Bag: Hey, hold up here a minute. Hold up here. Seems to be a bit of confusion. I'm supposed to be on this detail.
(Abruzzi turns to Patterson.)
Abruzzi: I don't think so.
T-Bag: Oh, John. You can't be serious. Not after our long, illustrious history we shared together. All those nights in New York City. (Michael looks over at him.) In California. In St. Louis. (He puts his hands on the mesh fence.) They were good times, weren't they, John? Tell the badge here about 'em. 'Cause if you don't want to, I certainly could.
(Michael looks at Abruzzi, panicked.)
37. INT. Break room. Day.
(A C.O. escorts T-Bag, dressed in PI gear, into the room where the others are already standing.)
Bellick: I want this place gutted. The dry wall's gotta be torn out. The studs gotta be removed.
Abruzzi: Boss, we've got some toxic issues here. Asbestos to start with.
Bellick: Take it up with the union. All I'm saying is, this room's your only priority now. It better be brand spanking new when you're done. If anybody's thinking about getting cute, trying to trunk one of these tools out here, Brady's got the outline of every single piece of hardware in here. And at the end of every day, every single piece better match up or you're all going to the hole.
(The COs walk out. The door closes.)
Michael: Let's go.
(They move the table and pull the carpet back to reveal a small drain.)
Michael: This goes down four feet. Connects to the main line below. All we've gotta do is widen it and we've got ourselves an on-ramp to Route 66.
(He hands out a sledgehammer to Lincoln.)
Lincoln: Whoa, whoa, whoa. They're gonna hear this, man.
Michael: They won't.
(He puts a large piece of cloth over the drain. He picks up another sledgehammer, is about to hand it to T-Bag but hesitates.)
T-Bag: Come on, Pretty. We're a team now.
(He throws it to him, then he and Abruzzi get one for themselves. They stand over the drain. Sucre stands at the door on guard.)
T-Bag: Best get crackin', eh?
Lincoln: You, shut up.
(Lincoln hits the floor with his sledgehammer.)
38. EXT. Chicago street. Night.
(LJ hides, looking at his cell phone.)
(Flashback: Kellerman: You really think you're gonna get to four buttons before I get to one?)
(Flashback: LJ's finger on one button. Close up of the cell phone's camera hole.)
(LJ looks at the picture he took of Kellerman, with his jacket open, revealing his g*n.)
39. INT. Caroline Reynolds's office. Night.
(Kellerman and Hale are standing before her.)
Caroline: I don't have my glasses. How about you read this for me? (She hands them a newspaper.) Tell me the news, the latest developments.
Kellerman: Evidently there was an expl*si*n in a Gold Coast apartment in Chicago yesterday, gas line. Everyone inside was k*lled.
Caroline: Shame. Anything else? How about that kid up in Oak Park, the one they say k*lled his parents.
Kellerman: Oh, they got him.
Caroline: They did?
Kellerman: He's in custody.
Caroline: Good. I imagine heads would have rolled if he hadn't been caught. Lives would have been lost. How about you hand that back to me? Now that it's yesterday's news, we can put it behind us, can't we? Move on to the next chapter of our lives.
(Camera moves to reveal that the woman talking is Caroline Reynolds, for the first time.)
Caroline: You're not just doing this for me, you know. Or my brother.
(There's a knock at the door and a man enters.)
Caroline: Yes?
Man: They're ready for you, Madam Vice President.
Caroline (to Kellerman): You're doing it for your country.
(She walks out to a podium and journalists begin calling out 'Madam Vice President, a question'...)
CUT TO: The PI crew are still banging the floor.
CUT TO: Caroline Reynolds, Madam Vice President, standing at the podium.
CUT TO: Lincoln hitting the floor hard with his sledgehammer.
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x08 - The Old Head"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
[1. INT. Shower room. Day.]
(Close up of Michael's tattooed arm in the shower.)
Seth: Help me. Please.
(Michael looks at him. Then, across the room, T-Bag clears his throat, then walks over. Seth walks away.)
T-Bag: You'll have to forgive my boy. He has the propensity to be a bit gregarious when he shouldn't be. Fraternizing in the prison shower, come on.
Michael: Maybe you oughta cut the kid a break.
T-Bag: You wouldn't be meddling in my affairs now, would you, Scofield? You can't be that stupid. Not while I'm so fully invested in your affairs.
(They stare at each other for a second, Michael thinks about it.)
Michael: What's between you and him is between you and him.
T-Bag: That's what I thought you said.
(Michael walks away to collect his towel. Seth comes up behind him.)
Seth: You've gotta help me.
(Michael is silent, then walks away. Seth looks fearfully over to the showers.)
[2. INT. Pope's office. Day.]
Lincoln: You gotta help me.
Pope: You're talking to the wrong man, this is a matter for the police.
Lincoln: This is my son we're talking about. For God's sake, he's missing! Do something.
Pope: You have got to understand, I am the warden of a prison. When it comes to the law there is absolutely nothing I can do. Whatever happens out there is out of my jurisdiction until it comes through those gates.
Lincoln: It just did. Let me out.
Pope: What?
Lincoln: Let me find him. I know how he thinks. I know where he'd run.
Pope: Burrows, I would have thought that by now, under the circumstances, you'd understand your position as a death row inmate. There is no way I can honour that request.
Lincoln: That ain't true. You got the power. In case of a family emergency, you can grant an inmate supervised leave.
Pope: Your son is a prime suspect in a double homicide.
[3. EXT/INT. Break room. Day.]
(Michael walks up to the storage room for PI, past T-Bag who is counting boxes and writing on a clipboard. They ignore each other. Bellick is inside, watching them.)
Bellick (to Sucre): Hey. What do you think this is, a siesta?
(Sucre looks at him. Bellick points to a wooden board on the wall, 'Fox River C.O. of the Month', with photographs of C.O.'s. Bellick's photo is the biggest, and in the middle at the top, he is obviously C.O. of the month.)
Bellick: You see that? Any idea how it got there?
(Sucre glances at Abruzzi, who smirks.)
Bellick: Work ethic. Those two words mean anything in your country? You're on PI, so quit slow-walking me. I'm not gonna warn you again. (To Abruzzi) What are you looking at?
(Abruzzi says nothing. Bellick walks away.)
[4. EXT. Outside storage room. Day.]
(T-Bag watches Bellick walk away, pretending to be counting boxes. When he's gone, T-Bag bangs on the door twice with the clipboard.)
[5. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Michael and the PI crew continue to dig the hole.)
Sucre: The bulls find this stuff they'll know we're digging.
Michael: That's why we gotta get rid of it. One piece at a time.
[6. EXT. Yard. Day.]
PA: (over loudspeaker) Attention in the yard. All prisoners remain 40 feet away from Gate A.
(Michael stealthily drops some concrete fragments into the ground and crushes them in with his foot.)
PA: New prisoners arriving in five minutes. Repeat, attention in the yard...
(Camera pans over to T-Bag standing by the fence, dropping his own concrete fragments.)
PA: All prisoners remain 40 feet away from Gate A. New prisoners arriving in five minutes.
(Camera pans over to Sucre, sitting on the benches, dropping concrete fragments into the ground. Sucre looks over at Abruzzi, casually walking over and dropping small pieces of concrete. Abruzzi smiles over at Michael. Michael turns and watches the bus with the new prisoners on it approach the prison gate.)
PA: Attention in the yard. All prisoners maintain a 40 foot perimeter around gate A.
(T-Bag walks over to join Michael.)
T-Bag (smiling): Freshmen.
[7. EXT. Yard. Day.]
(The new prisoners exit the bus in single file, all of them wearing handcuffs. One of them looks very nervous. Tweener is behind him in the line.)
Tweener: Best put on our jail face, BG. These crabs see you puckering, they're gonna bitchify you in a heartbeat.
(Pan over to T-Bag, who has noticed Tweener and makes a satisfied sound. Michael looks worried.)
(Camera zooms in on a piece of concrete on the ground, then a hand picks it up. Zoom out to show it's C-Note looking suspicious. He carries it away with him.)
[8. INT. Cells. Day.]
(All the inmates are walking back to their cells.)
Sucre: Looks like I gotta find something else to call you now.
Michael: Why's that?
Sucre: 'Cause you ain't a fish no more. You ain't the newest con in the t*nk no... (He notices something up on the second tier and breaks off.)
(Seth climbs over the second tier railing, the bed sheets tied round his neck and tied to the railings. He jumps over the railing, hanging himself. Camera close up on Seth's feet twitching, then Michael looking horrified and guilty.)
OPENING CREDITS.
[9. INT. Chapel. Day.]
Michael (head in hands): I could have done something.
Lincoln: No. T-Bag had his hooks in that kid, there was nothing you could have done.
Michael: I could have told the Pope. He could've transferred the kid to ADSEG, he would've been safe.
Lincoln: Go easy, Michael. You didn't even know him.
Michael: And that makes it okay? I turned my back on him because I didn't wanna make waves. It was just...easier to look the other way. Keep the plan safe.
Lincoln: And you did.
Michael: But at what price? That's not how she raised us. A man's down, you give him your hand. She'd roll over in her grave if she knew what I'd become.
Lincoln: She wouldn't. You've given me your hand, Michael. My son's out there with a bull's eye on his back. Do whatever you gotta do to get us out of here. Please.
[10. EXT. Streets of Chicago. Day.]
(LJ is curled up, sleeping fitfully, by a wall with no jacket, shoes or socks. A police siren sounds and wakes him. He looks around fearfully.)
[11. INT. The cabin in New Glarus. Day.]
(Veronica looks in the cupboards. In the final one, she sees several g*n.)
Nick: What are you doing?
Veronica: I was just looking for some coffee.
Nick: Yeah, there isn't any. They belonged to my father, if you were wondering.
Veronica: How long have they been in there?
Nick: I don't know. Five years?
(She looks at him, scared.)
Nick: You know, Veronica, we've been through a lot and uh, I'm freaking out here as much as you are, but you get this look in your eye sometimes like...like I'm the bad guy.
Veronica: I don't know who you are, Nick. You just magically show up like some knight in shining armour, ready to save the day.
Nick: You know, I think you seem to be forgetting something here. I'm in the cross hairs the same way you are. All for your ex, who unlike my father is a scumbag criminal, who just happens to be in prison for the one crime he didn't commit. You know something? I got enough of my own crap to deal with. You wanna go, you go.
[12. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(C-Note walks along by the fence, looking at the ground. He looks over at Michael, who drops some more concrete fragments on the ground cautiously.)
Tweener: Mind if I lamp with you, cuzzo?
C-Note: Roll, snowflake.
Tweener: Hey, man, I'm just...I'm just new, you know? I'm looking for some homies.
C-Note: I said, roll.
(C-Note's black inmate friends begin to walk over.)
Tweener: Brother, I'm just launching.
Black Inmate: Yeah? Well, launch somewhere else white boy.
Tweener (backs off): All right, y'all. I'm fittin' to bounce. Peace.
(He walks away. Camera pans over to show T-Bag is watching him, standing with his buddies.)
T-Bag: Boy's a bit confused about his pigmentation! But he sure does have spunk, doesn't he?
[13. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi furtively drops some concrete fragments down a drain.)
Bellick: Abruzzi!
Abruzzi: Yeah?
Bellick: What are you doing?
Abruzzi (walking over to the fence): What do you mean, what am I doing?
Bellick: First of the month's coming up, John.
Abruzzi: Yeah, so?
Bellick: I haven't got my monthly.
Abruzzi: What?
Bellick: I checked my balance online, it's looking seriously deficient.
Abruzzi: Uh...it's gotta be some kind of a mistake, like an accounting error or...
Bellick: Yeah? Tell Falzone I don't stand for accounting errors. I'm going back into my office at the end of the day. Gonna check my balance again. If it's not up to where it's supposed to be, all these privileges you got, like running PI, they're gone. Get it done, John.
[14. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi is on the telephone.)
Woman (off-screen): Falzone Enterprises.
Abruzzi: Get Philly.
Woman: I'm sorry, Mr Falzone's not available.
Abruzzi: You tell him it's John Abruzzi calling.
Woman: I'm sorry, I didn't realise.
Abruzzi: Well now you do.
Woman: Um... I'm sorry. He's gonna have to call you back.
Abruzzi: What? Hey...
(The line goes d*ad. Abruzzi looks worried.)
[15. INT. Cabin in New Glarus. Day.]
(Nick is getting dressed. Veronica goes into the bedroom.)
Veronica: I'm sorry. About before.
Nick: Pressure's getting to us, that's all. Good news is nobody can reach us out here. My old man made sure of that. Never even hooked up a telephone. Same with the well and the generator. You know, I used to think he was some kind of a conspiracy theory whacko. Turns out maybe he was right.
Veronica: I can't stay, Nick. I gotta get back. He's got less than two weeks.
Nick: The old man used to call this his serious tie. He only wore it when he really, really meant business. Be dangerous, you know, showing our faces again.
Veronica: Not if they're not looking for us. They think we're d*ad, right?
Nick: Yeah, but how long is that gonna last?
Veronica: We gotta be quick, be smart about it. The way I see it, we're just gonna be running in circles if we think we're gonna find exculpatory evidence before the execution. Prove he didn't do it.
Nick: I've gone up against pretty much every prosecutor in Cook County. Man gets m*rder, the first person they wanna talk to, to see who his real enemies were: the wife.
Veronica: You wanna go after the queen bee herself?
Nick: Leslie Steadman. Everyone in town knows the old bird lunches at the Lexington every day. With the society set.
[16. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Lincoln viciously bashes the hole in the floor.)
Abruzzi: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Slow down. Slow down!
(Lincoln ignores him.)
Abruzzi (to Michael): Man, your brother's gonna give us away.
(Sucre comes running in.)
Sucre: Bull's coming.
Abruzzi: Let's move.
Sucre: Hurry up, guys. Move it.
(The inmates hurry to cover the hole and put the table back.)
Patterson: All right. Everybody out.
T-Bag: What?
Patterson: I said, everybody out. Now.
(The inmates file out.)
Patterson (following them): Move it!
Michael: Where are we going?
Patterson: Around there. Round the corner. And don't move a damn muscle till I come get you. Go!
(He goes into the storage room. The inmates walk away.)
Sucre: What the hell's going on?
[17. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Patterson walks over to the shelving, and Becky comes out from hiding.)
Becky: We're so bad, aren't we?
Patterson: You're damn skippy. Let's go.
[18. EXT. Yard. Day.]
Michael (to Sucre): You gotta give us more of a warning next time.
Sucre: I'm sorry. He just showed up.
[19. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Becky and Patterson are kissing heavily.)
Becky: Oh, we're gonna get caught!
Patterson: By who?
Becky: By the warden! Oh...
(Patterson lifts her up and puts her on the table, hitching up her skirt. Camera stays at the level of their legs.)
Patterson: Baby, right now, in this room, at this moment, I am the warden.
Becky (gasping): Oh!
Patterson: Say it.
Becky: No, I'm not gonna say it...
Patterson: Come on baby, say it!
Becky: Oh, oh...you're the warden, Louis!
Patterson: Yes, yes.
(Camera zooms in on the table leg which is moving on the rug, dangerously close to the hole.)
ACT 2.
[20. EXT. Yard. Day.]
(Michael and his PI crew are waiting to re-enter the storage room. They watch the door, and see Patterson exit, followed by Becky who is adjusting her skirt.)
Lincoln: The sneaky son of a bitch.
Sucre: You think he found the hole?
[21. INT. Storage room. Day.]
(Michael walks to the table and crouches down.)
Michael: Another inch and he'd have found it. We need to find something to cover this hole. ASAP.
[22. INT. Visiting room. Day.]
(Abruzzi is meeting with his attorney.)
Abruzzi: Broke. What do you mean, broke?
Attorney: The C-Corps, investment accounts, even the offshore stuff, Caymans, Bermuda. Philly Falzone liquidated everything.
Abruzzi: Hey, I told you from the beginning what would happen if you screwed me.
Attorney: And I heeded it. That's why I warned you not to give Philly power of attorney. We had this conversation, remember? Look, the only real funds you have left are the $30,000 in your wife's pocket account. Now, I can...
Abruzzi: Don't. Don't touch that. Nobody touches that but her.
Attorney: What do I tell her? You know, about all this.
Abruzzi: Don't tell her anything, okay?
Attorney: The statements are going to come. She's going to know.
Abruzzi (reaching out as if to grip his jacket, then lightly rests his hand on his tie.) Hey, I told you. Don't tell her. All right? You got a problem with that?
Attorney: Okay John. You know where to contact me if you need anything else.
Abruzzi: The same goes for you.
(His visitor leaves, Abruzzi walks away towards the prison.
Abruzzi: Hey. Hey!
(Fiorello walks past him into the visiting room. The guard closes the gate to stop Abruzzi following.)
Fiorello: Philly.
Philly: You.
(The two men embrace and Fiorello kisses both his cheeks.)
Philly: So good to see you.
Fiorello: For you, the answer's always yes, Philly.
Philly: Sit down.
(He looks over at Abruzzi, smiles and then sits opposite Fiorello.)
Guard (to Abruzzi): Come on, John.
[23. INT. Sara's office. Day.]
(Scene starts with a close up on a woman's face, talking to Sara on the telephone.)
Woman: It looks like there's no record of a Fox River Medical Practice on our list of participating HMOs or PPOs.
CUT TO: Sara (on telephone): Okay, that's because we're a state penitentiary, and we're actually in kind of a unique situation here. Mr Scofield's insurance policy from his previous employer hasn't lapsed yet. For that reason the state's demanding that you pay for his treatment and not the taxpayers.
Woman: Okay, well it says here he already met his deductible.
Sara: Okay.
Woman: Oh, no, wait. That's his psych deductible. Not his medical.
Sara: Sorry, psych as in psychiatric?
[24. EXT. Yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi walks over to Fiorello who is sitting on the benches with two of his cronies.)
Abruzzi: Did I give you permission to call Philly? Hey. I asked you a question, man.
Fiorello: Listen, there, uh...there's been a restructuring. This comes from Philly himself. You couldn't deliver Fibonacci. So I'm the man in here now.
Abruzzi: Hey, tell you what. Run to the commissary and get me a packet of chips. We'll pretend this never happened, right?
Fiorello: No, I'm telling you, John. The sooner you face these facts, the better off we will all be.
Abruzzi (laughs): I can k*ll you in a heartbeat.
(He reaches over to grab him, but the two cronies stand up quickly and grab Abruzzi, pulling him away.)
Fiorello: Somehow, I doubt that. The sooner you face facts, the better off we will all be. You're yesterday's news, John.
(Abruzzi shoves off the cronies and watches them all walk away.)
[25. INT. Cells. Day.]
(The inmates file in from outside.)
Tweener: What's the word, brother, man? Y'all cookin' brownies, or what?
Inmate: Act your race, milk chicken.
Tweener: What's your deal, yo? You got tough buckets, or somethin'?
Inmate: You're a disgrace to your skin. You know that?
(He punches Tweener in the chest, down to the floor, Tweener cries out in pain.)
T-Bag: The boy just slipped. (He comes over to pull Tweener up.) The boy just slipped. (He hisses in Tweener's ear) Ain't that right?
(T-Bag pulls him upright, but he's hurt his knee and can't quite stand straight.)
T-Bag: Come on. Stand up. (He brushes him down)
Guard (o/s): Cons, let's get back.
T-Bag: What's your name, boy?
(Camera pans up to show Michael watching him.)
[26. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln sits on the bed, head in hands. The hatch on the door opens and a guard puts a food tray in.)
Lincoln: Who's that?
Stolte: Stolte.
Lincoln: Stolte. You've heard about my kid, right?
Stolte: Take the tray, Linc.
Lincoln: I, uh...I just need to call him.
Stolte: Just take the tray, or I'm gonna shove it in there and you can eat it off the ground.
(Lincoln takes the tray, but then grabs Stolte's wrist.)
Lincoln: You have a son. Josh.
Stolte: Don't do anything stupid, Linc.
Lincoln: I'm not. I just wanna ask you a question, then I'm gonna let go. What if it were Josh? What if it were your son? Please.
[27. EXT. Streets of Chicago. Day.]
(LJ walks along the street, bare-foot. He looks around, then rounds the corner. He takes his cell phone out. He looks at the picture he took of Kellerman the day his mother was m*rder. He sends it to his email address. Then the cell rings: "Inmate, Fox River, Incoming Call".)
LJ: Dad?
Lincoln: LJ, thank God. Are you all right?
LJ: No. Nowhere near it.
Lincoln: What do you mean? Where are you?
LJ: What they're saying about me, it's not true.
Lincoln: I know it's not true.
LJ: They k*lled her. They k*lled her. They... Right in front of me. Right in front of my eyes.
Lincoln: You gotta...you gotta...
LJ (interrupting): Why are they doing this?
Lincoln: Listen, listen. You gotta step up. You gotta be the man now. You understand me? You understand me, LJ?
LJ: Yeah.
Lincoln: Okay, I want you to call Veronica.
LJ: Her number is disconnected, I already tried.
Lincoln: Nick Savrinn. You call Nick Savrinn. Works for Project Justice. You call him once we're done. You got it?
LJ: Nick Savrinn. Okay, I'll call. I'll call.
Lincoln: All right, man. Hang in there, man. It's gonna be all right. Hey...
(A black car screeches to a halt next to LJ. Kellerman and Hale jump out. Kellerman tells Hale to get back in the car and drive round, then he gives chase.)
LJ: They're here! (He takes off running.)
Lincoln: Who's here? LJ? LJ!
ACT 3.
[28. EXT. Streets of Chicago. Day.]
(LJ runs through the street, with Kellerman after him. The car follows.)
(LJ runs into a car park, shutting the gate behind him to slow Kellerman down. The car drives into the car park and LJ stops, looks around. Kellerman and Hale look around for him.)
(Camera pans down to show LJ hiding under one of the cars. Kellerman's feet walk past it. Then LJ's phone vibrates in his pocket. He grips it in panic, but Kellerman has heard it. He pulls out his g*n and cocks it, which LJ hears.)
Kellerman: You hear that? Did you hear it? You know what that means? Why don't you ask your mom what it means? Oh, I'm sorry, you might have trouble getting an answer out of her right about now, huh? LJ?
(Hale has his g*n out as well. They both look around.)
(LJ rolls from the car to under another.)
(Kellerman and Hale close in on the car, g*n out.)
(A car horn sounds - there's a car behind theirs, wanting to get past.)
(Kellerman gets down on the floor and checks under the car - nothing.)
[29. EXT. The Lexington. Day.]
(Nick reaches out and takes a cell phone from an unoccupied table top.)
Veronica: I saw that.
Nick: Just getting connected, that's all. There she is.
(They approach Leslie Steadman's table.)
Nick: Mrs Steadman? I'm Dick Sisler, this is my associate Francette Kelly. We're with the National Victim's Rights Association. We provide assistance for victims of violent crimes, gather support for tough-on-crime political candidates.
Mrs Steadman: Bravo. Look, if your organisation's looking for a hand-out young man, you can go through my business manager.
Nick: Ma'am, that is not why we're here, actually. May we sit down? We were hoping you could help us with one of our more public cases. The Lincoln Burrows case?
Veronica: As you know, he's making unfounded claims that he's innocent. That others had motive to m*rder your husband.
Mrs Steadman: I really don't have time for a long conversation.
Veronica: Mrs Steadman, it doesn't have to be a long conversation.
Mrs Steadman: If we talked about who had motive to k*ll Terrance, we'd be here all day.
Veronica: I'm sorry?
Mrs Steadman: Look around. Half the people in this place were shareholders in his company. Every one of them sat at my husband's memorial. And every one of them was thinking the same thing: "Thank God he's gone."
Nick: Why would they think that?
Mrs Steadman: Money. As soon as rumours of the indictment started, you should have seen them run for the exits.
Veronica: I wasn't aware of any indictment.
Mrs Steadman: It never came down. He died before it could.
Nick: It have anything to do with Ecofield?
Mrs Steadman: Do the math. CEO gets indicted for fraud, investors start losing money. Lots of money. If I didn't know for sure Burrows pulled that trigger, I'd say it was any one of these people in this restaurant. We're talking half a billion dollars, Mr Sisler. People have k*lled for a lot less.
[30. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Tweener walks through the yard.)
Tweener: Hey, wassup? 'Sup?
(Two black inmates purposely shoulder-barge him as they pass. A white inmate does the same thing. Tweener walks over to the bench looking upset.)
T-Bag (sits next to him): Not a good position you find yourself in, is it? Whites don't want you. Blacks don't want you. You're just caught in the middle, aren't you? A regular 'tweener. We're different, you and me, lot of ways. But, you know, the funny thing is we're also a lot alike. Couple of dogs with runny noses that nobody loves. (He reaches out and puts his hand on Tweener's knee and rubs it.) How's that knee by the way?
Tweener (jumping up): What the hell are you doin'?
T-Bag: No, no, no, don't get me wrong, I'm just a friend.
Tweener: Yeah, a fruity friend. I don't need none of that.
T-Bag (warningly): Easy, now.
Tweener: No, no, you think you're gettin' up in this, you got another think comin', you h*m*.
T-Bag: You got a foul mouth, you know that?
Tweener: Yeah, I do. And you come near me again, I'm gonna k*ll you!
T-Bag (amused, in disbelief): Well, then, you're just gonna have to, little man.
(Tweener goes to walk away, T-Bag is laughing, very amused.)
[31. INT. Cells. Day.]
(The inmates are going inside.)
T-Bag: You sleep with one eye open, girlie!
Tweener: Bring it on, bitch.
T-Bag: Oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna bring it on in spades.
Michael: Maybe you oughta leave that kid alone.
T-Bag (walking over to him): Maybe you are in no position to be telling me my business. Hm? (Michael says nothing.) That's what I thought.
[32. INT. Psychiatrist's Office. Day.]
(Close up of the name plaque on the door: Dr. David George Brighton, Clinical Psychiatrist.)
Dr. Brighton: I'm sure you can understand my reluctance to discuss past patients.
Sara: Absolutely. My understanding is that under HIPAA we're allowed to share information as long as it furthers the care of the patient. I'm not accustomed to make enquiries like this, but I, uh...I feel like I can get through to him. I can help him.
Dr. Brighton: I imagine he needs it in there.
Sara: What did you treat him for?
Dr. Brighton: Michael suffered from a couple of things. One was a condition called low latent inhibition.
Sara: Sorry, I'm not familiar with the term.
Dr. Brighton: Well, people who suffer from low latent inhibition see everyday things just like you or I do, like this lamp for instance. But where we just process the image of a lamp, they process everything. The stem, the bulb, the bolts, even the washers inside. Their brains are more open to the incoming stimuli in the surrounding environment.
CUT TO: Michael walking in the prison yard, close-up on the bench where he removed the bolt. Close-up sh*t of the bolt, and the numbers imprinted on it.
Dr. Brighton: Other people's brains - yours and mine - shut out the same information. We have to do it in order to keep our sanity.
CUT TO: Michael inside the prison walls, looking up at some wiring.
Dr: Brighton: If someone with a low IQ has low latent inhibition, it almost always results in mental illness. But, if someone has a high IQ, it almost always results in creative genius.
CUT TO: Michael in his apartment at his computer, sh*ts of him standing in front of the wall where he planned out the whole escape.
Sara: Do you think Michael's a genius?
Dr: Brighton: Well, I think that word's been derogated in the media these days. But in the classic sense of the word, yes, I do.
Sara: You...you said there was something else you treated him for?
Dr. Brighton: He came to me with absolutely no sense of self-worth. The loss of both parents very often does that to a child. But with the low latent inhibition, something interesting happened to Michael. He became very attuned to all the suffering around him. He couldn't shut it out. He became a rescuer, one of those people who are more concerned with other people's welfare than their own.
Sara: I didn't know all this about him.
Dr. Brighton: Then maybe you don't know Michael Scofield.
Sara: Yeah.
[33. INT. Cells. Night.]
(Michael walks up to his cell door, looking down.)
T-Bag (singing): Oh, Tweener...I'm coming. Oh, Tweener...oh, Tweener, I'm a-coming for you...
CUT TO: T-Bag at the door of his cell, singing.
T-Bag (singing): I'm coming, coming...
(Camera pans across to Tweener's cell, next to T-Bag's. Tweener hugs a pillow and cries.)
T-Bag (o/s, singing): Is you ready? Are you ready? However you are, see, I'm here...I'm coming for you...
(Camera pans in to Tweener, crying.)
T-Bag (o/s, singing): Are you ready? Are you ready? I'm coming, I'm coming...I'm a-coming, I'm coming...
Cut to: Michael in his cell, watching the distressed Tweener.
[34. EXT. New Glarus. Night.]
(Nick pulls the car up in front of the cabin, and he and Veronica get out. Nick has his cell phone to his ear.)
Nick: I checked my voicemail at work. Lincoln's son LJ just left me a message. He's in trouble.
[35. EXT. In the city. Night.]
(LJ stops to rest, gasping for breath. His cell vibrates.)
LJ: Hello?
Veronica: LJ, it's Veronica. Where are you?
LJ: Oh, Veronica, I don't know. You gotta come get me.
Veronica: We can't, okay? We're not in Chicago. You have to come to us.
LJ: Oh. All right. Where's that?
(Kellerman's car pulls up close by. LJ spots it.)
LJ: Oh...oh...how the hell do they know where I am?
Veronica: What's going on?
LJ: How do they know where I am? How the hell do they know where I am? You don't understand...
(Camera zooms in on tracking system device in the car, showing LJ's location and they hear his voice through it.)
Veronica: LJ, LJ, I want you to listen to me...
LJ: Everywhere I go, they're there...
Veronica: I want you to listen to me, okay? I need you to come to us. We're in Lake Mercer.
LJ: Where's that?
Veronica: It's a small town, it's on the Iowa border. There's a bus station, I want you to buy a ticket, we'll meet you there.
CUT TO: Hale (in the car): They're still alive.
Kellerman: The bird in hand just became three.
CUT TO: LJ in the street
Veronica (o/s): Make sure you keep your cell phone open, okay?
Kellerman: Let's go.
Hale: But the kid's right...
Kellerman: Let's go.
LJ: Okay.
Veronica: Okay what?
(The agents drive away.)
LJ: Okay, I'll keep it open. They're leaving. They're leaving.
Veronica: LJ, I need to know that you hear me, okay? Lake Mercer.
LJ: Lake Mercer, okay. All right, bye.
[36. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Night.]
(Abruzzi takes the light bulb out of his lamp, and smashes the glass so a jagged edge remains.)
[37. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Night.]
(Camera shows Abruzzi's hand holding the broken light bulb, bringing it down slowly until it rests on Fiorello's eye.)
Fiorello (waking up): What the hell are you doing?
Abruzzi: Delivering yesterday's news.
(Camera shows the silent, empty cell block which is suddenly filled with Fiorello's screams.)
ACT 4.
[38. INT. Bus station. Night.]
Attendant: Your bus leaves from depot six in just a few minutes.
LJ: Thanks.
(He turns around and notices a guy asleep across a bench. He has a pair of shoes sticking out his rucksack. LJ takes them, then quickly leaves the ticket office.)
[39. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael furtively drops some more concrete fragments. Then he looks over to where Tweener is being hassled by T-Bag and his buddies.)
Tweener: Yo, man, get off me, bitch!
T-Bag: Let's pants him.
(He pulls Tweener's pants halfway down, and Tweener throws a football at him before walking away. Michael stamps the fragment into the ground. Sara comes up behind him, on the other side of the fence.)
Sara: I, uh...I just wanted you to know that if you're looking for someone to talk to in here, you're not alone. It's part of my job to counsel inmates and help them with their problems.
Michael: I got things pretty well figured out.
Sara: I sort of backed into some information about you. I hope you don't mind, but you have to understand that there's a reason I became a doctor. It's in my nature to wanna help. From what I understand, it's in your nature too. You did a lot of good things before you were in here. A lot of community work, a lot of charity work. What happened?
Michael: The man you're talking about died the moment I stepped inside these walls.
Sara: All right. (She walks away.)
[40. EXT. Lake Mercer. Day.]
(The Lake Mercer bus pulls into the town, past a sign that reads "Welcome to Lake Mercer, have a nice day.)
(Camera pans over to show Agents Kellerman and Hale waiting in the car. They get out, g*n at the ready.)
CUT TO: Kellerman getting onto the bus, followed by Hale.
Kellerman: Ladies and Gentlemen. United States Secret Service. Please remain calm. Remain where you are.
(The pair of them move down the bus, towards the bathroom, g*n aimed. They kick open the door, and see LJ's cell phone on the side. Kellerman picks it up, flips it open and sees the photograph of himself after having just m*rder LJ's mother. He laughs in disbelief.)
[41. EXT. New Glarus. Day.]
(A bus pulls up. LJ gets off.)
Driver: Watch your step, son.
(LJ turns around as the bus pulls away, and walks over to where Veronica and Nick are waiting.)
Veronica: Hey. Come here. (She hugs him and he cries.) It's okay.
[Flashback:
LJ (on cell phone): They're leaving.
CUT TO: Veronica typing a text in the cabin.
CUT TO: LJ reading the text. "Dump the phone, they're tracking you. We're in New Glarus."]
Veronica: You're safe now, all right?
[42. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln is pacing up and down, agitated. Then the door opens and two C.O.'s enter.)
Stolte: You received communication from your attorney. Please sign this document certifying that I inspected the communication for contraband, without at any time breaching attorney-client privilege by reading the materials enclosed herein.
(Lincoln nods, signs it, and they leave. Lincoln opens the envelope. He flips a few pages over, then finds one with a post-it note attached. The post-it reads: "notes from Mrs. Weatman's 6th grade biology class". Lincoln sits down and looks at the page of writing. Finally, he realises what the code is. Down the right hand side of the page, the last word of each sentence tells him what he wants to know. He runs his finger down them: 'It's LJ, I'm with Veronica. I'm okay. I love you.')
[43. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Tweener files out with other inmates into the yard. Coming from the opposite direction is Michael and his PI crew. As he passes, Tweener glares at T-Bag in disgust, but T-Bag just grins at him.)
Sucre: What are you grinning about?
T-Bag: Oh, just the fact that I'm gonna be out in the real world here in a little bit. The fact that I'm gonna get me one fine piece of tail certainly don't hurt either. Nothing like tail, eh, Scofield? (He laughs.)
[44. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Michael picks up a tool from the box and hits T-Bag's shin with it, hard. T-Bag collapses on the floor with a scream of pain.)
T-Bag: Son of a bitch!
Michael: This ends right now.
T-Bag: Oh, you just screwed some major league pooch, Pretty. I'm gonna sing like a whole tree full of birds now. (Yelling) Badge!
Michael: You wanna sing, then sing. But you know what I think? You don't have the guts. You want out of here just as much as the rest of us.
(The door opens and a CO comes in.)
C.O.: We got a problem here?
T-Bag (after a pause): No. I, uh...I thought we was missing some tools here. My bad.
C.O.: Get back to work. (He leaves.)
Michael: Now. You and I may be stuck together in this little dance, but I call the sh*ts. First sh*t, that kid out there? You don't touch him. Ever. Do we understand each other?
T-Bag: We do.
(Bellick enters.)
Bellick (to Sucre): Out of the way, Julio. Abruzzi!
(He walks dangerously close to the hole, his feet making the carpet sink.)
Bellick: You and me, we're gonna have a conversation.
(Bellick walks practically over the hole, and out. Abruzzi follows.)
Lincoln: How come he didn't fall through?
(Michael bends down and pulls the carpet back, revealing the monthly awards plaque of C.O.'s photographs that Bellick pointed out to Sucre earlier is covering the hole. Michael looks up at Sucre, who winks at him.)
[45. EXT. Storage area. Day.]
Abruzzi: What?
Bellick: I warned you.
Abruzzi: I'll get it together. You gotta give me more time.
Bellick: You've had your time, John.
(He walks away, Abruzzi looks nervous.)
[46. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(T-Bag limps over the grass. Michael and Sucre, standing by the fence, watch him. Tweener is sitting on the bench, holding a football. T-Bag stops. Tweener looks nervous, but fronts him out.)
Tweener: You trippin' on somethin', Alice?
(Ominous music plays. T-Bag looks dangerous for a second. Michael watches him. Seconds tick past. Tweener looks apprehensive. Then T-Bag walks on, eyeing Michael angrily. Tweener relaxes at T-Bag's retreat.)
Tweener: Yeah, that's what I thought. Lamp it up in here again, I'll be fittin' to break some shop.
(Michael looks over at Lincoln in the segregated yard, and Lincoln smiles proudly.)
Sucre: Uh-oh. We got a problem.
(They both look over. A team of inmates dressed in PI gear and carrying tools are walking towards the storage room. Abruzzi notices too. All of them hurry over to the fence.)
Abruzzi: Bellick. Boss. Boss, what's happening? What are they doing?
Bellick: Fixing the break room.
Abruzzi: What are you talking about? What's PI! I run it!
(Michael and Sucre join him at the fence.)
Bellick: Not anymore you don't.
(The new PI crew walk on. One of them is Fiorello, who wears a bandage round his head and over one eye. Michael, Sucre and Abruzzi watch them walk into the old storage room, anxious whether their hole will be discovered.)
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x09 - Tweener"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene
(Michael getting a hand of cards tattooed onto his arm, close up of the numbers the tattoo artist is putting on.)
[1. INT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi sits at a bench, laying some cards out. He looks up and sees two members of the new PI team smirking at him. He watches them as they walk into the break room.)
[2. INT. Break room. Day.]
(The new PI team work on the break room. One guy walks across the carpet, creaking the wooden board laying over the hole. Camera close up on the rumpled carpet.)
[3. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi goes over to where Bellick is walking, outside the fence.)
Abruzzi: Bellick. Hey, boss.
Bellick: Check that volume, inmate.
Abruzzi: We've been doing business too long. We can fix this thing, right?
Bellick: Let's get something clear. You and I haven't done crap, Falzone's the one been paying me.
Abruzzi: Falzone is just an envelope, you've been doing business with me face to face.
Bellick: You think I like getting piss thrown at me? Spit on? These other chumps might do it for the 40 grand a year and the little blue uniform, but I'm not that dumb. Falzone's envelope is the only reason I come through that fence every day, and it's the only reason I'm gonna keep coming through that fence. Until I have enough money to buy that house on Lake Gray. I'm thinking early retirement, John. And you're interfering with that.
Abruzzi: Hey, boss. Just give me some time, and I can match whatever Falzone is paying you.
Bellick: You're out of business. Get used to it.
(Bellick walks away. Abruzzi yells after him.)
Abruzzi: Hey, boss. Boss!
[4. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael watches the new PI crew working.)
Abruzzi: They're gonna find it. The longer they're in there, the sooner they're gonna find it.
Michael: Then we gotta get back in there.
Abruzzi: I'm gonna say something crazy to you right now.
Michael: Surprise, surprise.
Abruzzi: I don't give a damn about that Fibonacci anymore.
Michael: You're right, that is crazy.
Abruzzi: Because I got bigger things to think about, like survival. You see, I'm kinda short on friends in here, in case you haven't noticed. I need to get out, right now. While I still got my life.
Michael: Then why are we talking about Fibonacci?
Abruzzi: Look, the only way I can get that room back is if I can prove to Falzone I'm still worthy, that I still got what it takes. Yeah? And the only way I can do that is if I can give him Fibonacci.
Michael: Interesting.
Abruzzi: You see, this is not a me-versus-you thing anymore. This is us. An us thing, all right? It's us for the escape.
Michael: Is it? Or is this about you getting in good with the Mob again?
Abruzzi: That life is over for me, Fish. I mean, they clipped my wings. They want me to rot in here, so I got no allegiance to them anymore.
Michael: And yet you still wanna do them a favour.
Abruzzi: Falzone is desperate. See, if Fibonacci testifies in front of the Congress next month, Falzone's gonna go down in flames. But if we give him Fibonacci, he will give us anything. Anything, including that very special room. What do you say, Fish?
[5. INT. Chapel. Day.]
Priest: And the Lord said unto Satan, 'hast thou considered my servant Job? That there is none like him in the earth. A perfect and an upright man. One that fears God, and shuns evil'.
Lincoln: Give him up.
Michael: If I do, they'll k*ll him.
Lincoln: Maybe he deserves it.
Michael: That's just it, he doesn't.
Lincoln: Who is this guy? You told me he was Mafia.
Michael: He was working for the Mafia. He just didn't know it. Otto Fibonacci is...he's just like you. An innocent man, caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.
[Flashback:
Otto Fibonacci can hear people talking in one of Abruzzi's warehouses, he walks round to see.
Man#1 (o/s, scared): What are you doing? You know... I didn't steal from you, John!
Michael (v/o): He was middle management at one of Abruzzi's warehouses. Just a normal guy, working class, religious.
(Fibonacci can see two guys on their knees in front of two men, holding g*n, one of whom is presumably Abruzzi.)
(Man#1: You know I'd never steal from you, Johnny...)
(Abruzzi: Hey, Nicky. Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. Shh. What did I tell you about talkin'?)
(Man#1 (sobbing): John, please...)
(Abruzzi gives the nod, the mobster next to him sh**t him d*ad.)
(Man#2: Johnny please, no!)
(Abruzzi nods again and the mobster sh**t him d*ad as well.)
(Fibonacci, outside the door, looked shocked.]
Michael (v/o): And somebody that couldn't turn his back on m*rder. He realised that Abruzzi and Falzone, the men he worked for, were K*llers. And he had the key to all their dealings. Fingers that could put them away for life.
(CUT TO: Fibonacci in the present day, sitting at home with his wife and three young children.)
Michael (v/o): And now he's in witness protection for life. The judge asked him why he was coming forward with this information. He said it was because he thought it was the right thing to do.
Lincoln: What's the right thing to do now, Michael?
Michael: I don't know. But if I don't give him up, this whole thing's over.
Lincoln: What you're telling me is if...if I'm to live...
(CUT TO: Fibonacci at home with his family.)
Michael: A good man has to die.
OPENING CREDITS.
[6. INT. Apartment. Day.]
(Kellerman and Hale are sitting in a luxurious high-rise apartment. Kellerman's cell phone rings.)
Kellerman: Kellerman.
Caroline (o/s): You're in the place we discussed.
Kellerman: Yes. I'm still not exactly sure why we're here, but...
Caroline: A friend of mine should be along there shortly.
Kellerman: A friend?
Caroline: Just to see where you are with things.
Kellerman: I think we're clear on where we are with things. Everything's under control. Nothing is going to affect tomorrow, if that's what you're worried about.
Caroline: I'm not worried about tomorrow. My friend is a problem solver, that's all. He's there at your disposal, if you need him. Do me a favour, make him feel like part of the team, hm? Talk so.
(They both hang up.)
Hale: What?
Kellerman: She's bringing someone in.
Hale: What does that mean?
Kellerman: Something in her tone changed.
Hale: You think she knows about the kid?
Kellerman: We don't know that.
Hale: We shouldn't have lied. We shouldn't have told her we had the kid.
Kellerman: What is it you don't understand? We tell her that kid got away, you and I we are not here right now.
Hale: I swear to God it just gets deeper and deeper
Kellerman: What is that supposed to mean?
Hale: It means, if I'd have known that this is how the whole thing was gonna turn out, I'd have got some crap job with the feds. Pushed pencils. Drank coffee all day long behind a desk. God, that sounds good.
Kellerman: Keep talking like that, I'm gonna be forced to put a b*llet in your head. As for her friend, whoever that is, we find out what he wants, we play nice, we deal with it accordingly.
[7. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Sucre: Michael. You'd better see this.
(They walk over to the fence. The new PI crew are carrying rolls of carpet and underlay towards the break room.)
Sucre (whistles): Hey, Jersey. Are you putting that carpet in the guards' room?
Jersey: Yeah, I think so.
Sucre: When?
Jersey: We gotta tear up the old stuff first. As soon as we're done with that. Tonight, tomorrow, maybe.
Sucre (to Michael): They're gonna find it, bro. They're gonna find the hole. We gotta do something.
[8. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Patterson takes a food tray over, opens the hatch and bangs in on the door.)
Patterson: Linc. Chow.
Lincoln (takes the tray, notices a form on it): What's this?
Patterson: It's for, uh...you know. Your last meal. Write down what you want.
(Lincoln posts the form and the pen back through the door and walks over to his bed.)
Patterson: Linc, you gotta write something down.
Lincoln: I ain't gotta do nothin'.
Patterson: If you don't fill it out, all they're gonna give you is what's on chow for that day.
Lincoln: So?
Patterson: You don't want that for your last meal, do you man? Hm?
(Lincoln ignores him. Patterson slides the form and pen back under the door.)
Patterson: In case you think of something.
[9. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(C-Note walks up to the fence next to where the PI crew are working.)
C-Note: Hey, eyetie.
Fiorello: Something you need there, rug head?
C-Note: Yeah, a job, man.
Fiorello (chuckles): Why don't you h*t the DQ down the street. We're not hiring.
C-Note: I'll put a hundred in your kick every month.
Fiorello: You wanna pay me to work?
C-Note: Hey I've been in the kitchen for eight months. I scrub one more tray, I'm gonna go J-Cat, you know what I'm sayin'?
Stolte (calling from the guard room): Hey! Fiorello, how about it?
Fiorello: Yeah, yeah. (He leans closer to C-Note.) One-fifty.
C-Note: Sign me up then, baby.
[10. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael approaches Abruzzi.)
Michael: I was thinking about what you said. That it's not a me-versus-you thing. It's an us thing.
Abruzzi: That's right.
Michael: How far are you willing to go with that?
Abruzzi: As far as I have to.
Michael: Then set up a meeting with Falzone. I wanna talk to him directly.
Abruzzi: Falzone doesn't talk to guys like you directly.
Michael: If he wants Fibonacci, he's gonna have to.
ACT 2.
[11. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Abruzzi (on the telephone): No, no. No, you heard me right.
Falzone (o/s): You're telling me this kid is gonna give up Fibonacci? You're sure?
Abruzzi: I'm definite. Only thing, he wants to meet with you directly.
Falzone (o/s): Son of a bitch. You actually did something right, John. That's good. Guess I'll have to call off those guys I hired to shank you.
(Abruzzi is quiet, looking nervous.)
Falzone (o/s): That was a joke, John.
Abruzzi: Funny.
Falzone (o/s): Good. I'll come out there this afternoon. And John, if I come all the way out there and this turns out to be a waste of my time, I'm gonna castrate you. I hope you understand that. Be well my friend.
Abruzzi: I love you too.
(They both hang up. Abruzzi walks over to Michael.)
Abruzzi: He's coming. Don't mess this up.
(Michael watches him walk away then walks over to the phone. He dials a number which he reads from the set of cards tattoo on his arm.)
CUT TO: Camera pans up the legs of a very beautiful woman, who is sitting and putting on lipstick in front of a large mirror. She speaks with a Slovakian accent.
Nika: Hello?
Michael: It's me.
Nika: I know. I saw 'Inmate' on the caller ID.
Michael: Remember when I said I might be calling you on Fibonacci?
Nika: Yes.
Michael: Well. It's time.
[12. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Sara is redressing the wound on Michael's foot.)
Sara: You seem distracted.
Michael: Got a lot on my mind, I guess.
Sara: Yeah? Have anything to do with the people who took these toes?
Michael (changing the subject): Nice flowers.
Sara: Right.
Michael: Do we have an admirer?
(Sara won't look at him.)
Sara: They're from my father.
Michael: Ah. What's the occasion?
Sara: It's my birthday.
Michael: Today?
Sara: Mm-hm.
Michael: Happy birthday.
Sara: Thank you.
Michael: Okay...
Sara: Huh.
Michael: Nothing. Birthdays aren't usually a sore subject, that's all. Unless the celebrant is feeling her age, which I don't see how you could be.
Sara: I'm 29 years old, Michael. I'm not feeling my age. It's just that out of those 29 birthdays, my father has actually managed to see me on precisely...six of them. So I get flowers instead. Flowers that end up d*ad and in the trash a week later. That sounded bitter, huh?
Michael: Kind of.
Sara: It's not a big deal. You are all set, I will see you tomorrow.
Michael: Okay. (He walks towards the door.) I'm sorry you feel that way. About the flowers, I mean.
[13. EXT. Outside storage area. Day.]
Fiorello: Hey, somebody get on this. I want these in the other room.
C-Note: I got it, boss.
(Another PI member goes to pick them up.)
C-Note: Hey, chill, lily-white, I got it.
(He picks them up and carries them through to the break room. Then he starts looking around.)
C-Note: Come on, I know you're around here somewhere.
(He picks up some of the concrete fragments that he has seen the old PI crew dropping in the yard. As he is looking around, he steps right on the hole and the floor creaks. Quickly, he pulls the carpet back and finds the hole. He smiles.)
[14. INT. Cabin in New Glarus. Day.]
(Nick and Veronica watch LJ, who is sitting outside.)
Nick: He's not doing well, is he?
Veronica: He just lost his mother. Ten days from now, he loses his father.
[15. EXT. Cabin in New Glarus. Day.]
Nick: How you holding up?
(LJ doesn't answer.)
Nick: You know, I sort of get what you're going through here, LJ.
LJ: No disrespect, but I don't know that you do.
Nick: No, with my dad. I was in the same spot when I was your age. He was in prison. And like your dad, he was innocent.
LJ: What happened? You know, at the end.
Nick: What I hope happens here - he got exonerated.
LJ: What did they say he did?
Nick: A lot of bad things. They weren't true. And we proved that. Every day, every day was a lost cause. But we kept fighting. I mean, what else are you gonna do when you love somebody? Let them go out like that? So you fight. You keep fighting. You never give up. We're gonna b*at this thing. Okay?
[16. INT. Apartment. Day.]
(There is a knock at the door and Kellerman answers it.)
Quinn: Hello
Kellerman: Hello.
Quinn: You were expecting me? A mutual friend arranged it...
Kellerman: Yes.
Quinn: You mind if I...?
Kellerman (steps back): Please.
(Quinn enters the apartment.)
Quinn (to Hale): Hey, how are... (he notices the view and whistles.)
Kellerman: I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
Quinn: Quinn.
Kellerman: Mr. Quinn, mind telling us what we're doing here?
Quinn: You can probably tell just by looking at me, I'm not a wave-making sort. Just think of me as a supervisor. Who's here to make sure things are under control as we approach...you know, the big event.
Kellerman: I wasn't aware that things were out of control.
Quinn: Well, you'd be the one that would know, wouldn't you?
(He sits down, and Hale sits opposite. Kellerman stays standing.)
Quinn: Well, the reason I'm here is because there's a discrepancy between what you know and what you have said to the vice-president. The lawyers you tried to blow up - they're still running around, healthy as thoroughbreds. You know it, I know it. Same thing goes with the kid, who you were silly enough to tell the old lady that you were actually in possession of. Now everything that I'm saying is boiling down to this. You gotta hand the reins over to me now, so that I can save your ass.
(Kellerman slowly, thr*at walks over to Quinn.)
Kellerman (reaching out a hand towards Quinn): First of all...
(Quinn grabs Kellerman's hand, and twists his fingers so they crack. Kellerman yells in pain. Hale gets up to intervene.)
Kellerman (to Hale): No. No.
Quinn: See, now you made me make a wave. (he stands and speaks to Hale.) You and your partner are off the case until further notice. It doesn't come from me, it doesn't come from the White House, it comes from The Company. You understand?
(Hale nods slightly. Kellerman is still clutching his fingers in intense agony.)
Quinn: Look, your proximal and middle phalanx are broken. Ice it for 45 minutes then splint it. That's what a doctor would tell you to do, so you don't need to go see one.
(He leaves. Kellerman and Hale look at each other.)
[17. INT. Cabin in New Glarus. Day.]
(Veronica is working at a laptop.)
Nick: EcoField's SEC filings.
Veronica: Terrence Steadman was m*rder so the information from his indictment wouldn't be made public. Right?
Nick: Sure. But since they never saw the light of day we have no way of knowing what they were trying to cover up.
Veronica: Steadman's wife said there were hundreds of millions of dollars at stake if her husband went down. So I figure we follow the money and see where it takes us.
Nick (reading off the screen): $109,000,000, $112,000,000...
Veronica: Over half a billion dollars that I've found so far in federal grants to EcoField for alternative fuel research.
Nick: That is a hell of a lot of money.
Veronica: But for what? Not only did the company never make a profit, as far as I can tell, they never made anything. Look, no fuel sales, no patents, no findings, nothing.
Nick: So EcoField was a sham. It was a cover.
Veronica: The question is, for what?
[18. INT. Prison visiting room. Day.]
(Michael and Abruzzi are buzzed into the visiting room. Philly Falzone is sitting alone at a table in the middle of the room.)
Abruzzi: Philly.
Falzone (to Michael): Sit down, kid.
(Michael sits.)
Falzone: So...Fibonacci. How'd you find him?
Michael: I did my homework.
(Abruzzi sits down carefully. Falzone leans closer to Michael.)
Falzone: You get elliptical with me for one more second and I will cancel you. You understand me?
Abruzzi (warningly): Give it up, Fish.
Michael: Before someone's transferred to the US marshals service and placed in witness protection, they're guarded by a local sheriff from the county where the trial will take place.
(Flashback: Michael on the phone in his apartment.
Michael (on telephone): Sheriff Solomon, please.
Woman (o/s): Please hold...
Solomon (o/s): Andrew Solomon here.
(Michael presses the disconnect button. He turns to a pad of paper with four names written on - Schatz, Solomon, Pronzo and Marx. The first is crossed out. He crosses out Solomon.)
Michael (v/o): If the sheriff was available then he wasn't the one guarding Fibonacci.
(Michael dials the third sheriff on the list.)
Woman (o/s): Putnam County Sheriff's Office.
Michael: Yeah, is Sheriff Pronzo there?
Woman (o/s): I'm sorry, Sheriff Pronzo's on vacation.
Michael: Really.
Woman (o/s): Yes, sir.
(Michael rings the name Pronzo on the pad.)
Michael: There are only four sheriffs in the country. And since Pronzo was the only one who was not in his office, and his wife and kids were waiting for him at home, I knew the only vacation he was taking was with Fibonacci.
Falzone: Watching him until they could put him in protection.
Michael: Thing is, sometimes it takes weeks for the marshal service to set up a new identity. So some local sheriff is stuck in the middle of nowhere with Fibonacci. He gets lonely and calls home - a lot.
(Flashback: Michael parks his car outside Pronzo's house and walks up to Pronzo's mailbox. He flips through the letters until he finds the phone bill.)
Michael (v/o): I called the phone company, said I was Pronzo and I'd lost my bill. I asked for another copy. It seems Mrs. Pronzo was receiving dozens of calls from an area code a long way from Chicago. I went online, reverse-traced the number and voila: there was Fibonacci's exact location.
Falzone: How do you know he's still there?
Michael: I have someone looking after him. Watching from afar, in case he moves.
Falzone: Mmhmm. This is about money, isn't it?
Michael: You're an astute man, Mr. Falzone.
Abruzzi: What?
Falzone: Your friend here, John, is trying to extort me.
Michael: Not extortion. Insurance. I plan on being out of here one day. And I don't think my new resume is gonna cut it in most places.
Falzone: How much?
Michael: 200,000.
(Falzone makes an angry face.)
Abruzzi (hissing, to Michael): I'm gonna k*ll you!
Michael: Quid pro quo. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.
Abruzzi: Well I'll give you some quid pro quo.
(Abruzzi reaches into his pocket, pulls out a photograph and slams it on the table in front of Michael. He looks at it. It's Veronica.)
Michael: Where did you get this? Who took this picture?
Abruzzi: Well, since you took it upon yourself to have people watching over our interests on the outside, we took it upon ourselves to have some people watching over yours. So who's it gonna be? Fibonacci or your pretty little girlfriend there?
ACT 3.
[19. INT. Visiting room. Day.]
Abruzzi: Yeah, you should be careful with who visits you in here, Fish. These walls have eyes.
Michael: If you touch her, I'll k*ll you myself.
Falzone: One, that is an empty thr*at. You are less than a gnat to me. And two, all you gotta do is give me the address and we avoid all this melodrama altogether.
(Michael leans on his hands, thinking.)
Falzone: The address, you gnat. Now!
Michael: Promise me...promise me it'll be quick and painless.
Falzone (to Abruzzi): Do you believe this guy?
Michael: Promise me.
Falzone: If the next thing that comes out of your mouth is not that address, there's gonna be a lot of pain in a lot of places. (He puts a thr*at hand on the photo of Veronica.)
(Michael snatches the photo away, displacing Falzone's hand. He sighs.)
Michael: Canada. 345 Hamilton Avenue. Thunder Bay, Ontario.
Falzone: Get outta here.
(Michael stares at him for a second, then, walking like a condemned man, he goes back to the gate.)
Falzone: Nice work, John. I guess the demise of John Abruzzi was greatly exaggerated.
Abruzzi: Thank you, I appreciate it. Could you do me a favour and fix this Bellick thing for me?
Falzone: Yeah, consider it done.
(They embrace.)
Abruzzi: Thank you. And Philly, before you pull the trigger, look that son of a bitch in his eyes and tell him John Abruzzi said goodbye.
Falzone: Okay.
[20. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael walks into his cell, looking extremely sick and guilty.)
[21. EXT. Campaign stand. Day.]
Caption: Montgomery, Illinois.
(A camera crew is getting ready to film.)
Caroline: "In a race toward worldwide peace and prosperity, America will set the pace." Race? Rat race, arms race... Can you think of a word with a worse connotation? Fix it.
(She walks down the steps.)
Kellerman: Did you send me a babysitter?
Caroline: This is not the time or the place.
Kellerman: This is the time and the place.
Caroline: Don't take that tone with me. Remember who you are talking to. I am the vice president of this country.
Kellerman: No, actually, you're Caroline Reynolds from Montgomery, Illinois. I know exactly who you are.
Caroline: Come with me. (She holds up a hand at some people waiting for her with pens and papers.) Just...
[22. EXT. Campaign stand. Day.]
Caroline: There is something you need to understand. If you had done your job, I never would've had to ask for Quinn.
Kellerman: And there's something you need to understand. You woke a sleeping beast when you called these guys in. They have a bigger agenda than any of us and they get real nasty real quick if things don't go their way. So now no-one is safe. Not you, not me.
Caroline: Let's not overreact. I mean, I know everyone is nervous about tomorrow. I understand that. But the one thing both of us have to remember is that we are in this together. Okay?
Kellerman: All I'm saying is, these guys are into this thing now, and there's no going back. That's bad news for everyone.
[23. INT. Apartment corridor. Night.]
(Quinn is following a man along the corridor; the man is carrying two overnight bags. He stops by a door and opens it.)
Quinn: Sebastian Balfour?
Sebastian: Yeah?
Quinn: I'm Nestor Pollack. Midwestern Life and Casualty. (He hands him a business card.)
Sebastian: I'm already covered. Thanks.
Quinn: Oh, no, I'm here to discuss Veronica Donovan.
Sebastian: What about her?
Quinn: Well, we've been trying to track her down with respect to the damage from the apartment expl*si*n.
Sebastian: expl*si*n?
Quinn: You didn't know. Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that, her records...they list you as her fiancé, so I assumed...
Sebastian: Hold on. Is Veronica okay?
Quinn: Well, there has been a fatality.
Sebastian: Oh my God!
Quinn: But the medical examiners haven't been able to identify the remains with any certainty. So Veronica could be okay, we just can't find her. We were hoping you could help.
[24: INT. Lincoln's cell. Night.]
(Lincoln is pacing, agitated. He sits down on his bed, picks up the coded message from LJ in the papers he received in the mail: 'It's LJ, I'm with Veronica. I'm okay. I love you.' He rubs his head anxiously. The camera pans into those three words: 'I love you'.)
[25. INT. Segregation block. Night.]
(Patterson is doing a check, down the corridor, looking into the cells.)
Patterson: Rozz. Reese. Burrows.
(As he passes Lincoln's cell, a piece of paper comes out from under it. He picks it up.)
Patterson: Blueberry pancakes, huh? All right man, you got it. Blueberry pancakes.
[26. INT. Cabin. Night.]
(Nick and LJ are asleep on separate sofas. Veronica is still working at the laptop. Suddenly an instant message pops up. It reads: "Veronica, are you out there? If U R out there. I am worried. from Sebastian.)
(Veronica types back: 'I'm fine'.)
(Another message comes back: 'Thank God. Where are you?')
(Veronica types: 'Can't say. Have 2 go. Goodbye.')
[27. INT. Sebastian's apartment. Night.]
(Camera pans across the room to show Sebastian lying slumped at the sofa, d*ad. Quinn plugs a tracking device into his laptop. He traces Veronica's location.)
[28. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Michael lays on his bunk, he holds his watch in his hands and taps it anxiously.)
[29. EXT. Hamilton Avenue. Night.]
(Falzone's car draws up slowly.)
Falzone: 341...
(The car's headlights go out.)
Falzone: 345. This is it.
[30. INT. Fibonacci's house. Night.]
Fibonacci: All right, that's it, kids. Time for bed. Give me a kiss. Are you okay down there buddy? Night night.
(He kisses his younger son on the top bunk, then his elder son in the bottom bunk. He crosses over to his daughter's bed.)
Fibonacci: All right sweetheart, gimme a kiss.
[31: INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Michael continues to tap the watch, worried.)
[32. INT. Fibonacci's house. Night.]
(He walks down the stairs and into the living room to his wife.)
Fibonacci: Kids are down.
Wife: Thanks.
[33. EXT. Hamilton Avenue. Night.]
Falzone: Tonight we send a message, gentlemen. We are gonna hurt him and his family the way he hurt ours.
(He loads his g*n.)
ACT 4.
[34. EXT. Hamilton Avenue. Night.]
(The mobsters get out of the car, g*n drawn. Falzone smiles, and puts a finger to his lips to warn the others to be quiet. They approach the house.)
[35. INT. Fibonacci's house. Night.]
(Fibonacci reaches for the front door knob.)
Wife: Oh, honey?
Fibonacci: Yeah?
Wife: Can you change the timer on the sprinkler while you're out there?
Fibonacci: Oh, okay.
Wife: Love you.
Fibonacci: Love you, too.
[36. EXT. Hamilton Avenue. Night.]
(Falzone and his mobsters cross the street, g*n drawn. They have just got to the front garden when a siren sounds, and lights flash on.)
Police Officer: Freeze!
(Several vans unload with police officers, all drawing their g*n.)
Police Officer#2: Police! Drop your w*apon!
(They all shout 'Freeze'!, 'Drop your w*apon!', 'I said, drop it!')
(Several squad cars draw up, one of them is FBI.)
(Falzone is hand-cuffed, forced to his knees.)
[37. EXT. Fibonacci's house. Night.]
(Fibonacci leaves his house and sits on the bench on his porch. He opens his paper. It's a local edition: Topeka, Kansas.)
[38. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi is on the telephone, a queue of inmates behind him.)
Abruzzi: Hi, it's John. You wanted to talk to me?
Maggio: Yeah. You hear the news? Falzone got popped last night. Up in Canada. International g*n charges, parole violation...he's in deep.
(Abruzzi looks across the yard at Michael, who is walking with Patterson.)
[39. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
Michael: You threw away your flowers.
Sara: Like I said, they don't last.
Michael: I don't think they're d*ad yet.
Sara: I don't like getting attached to things if I know they won't last. (she finishes his sh*t.) There you go.
Michael: Why are you so cynical?
Sara: Michael, I think there's cynicism and then there's realism.
Michael: And there's optimism. Hope, faith.
Sara: This coming from an eight-toed guy, locked in a penitentiary?
Michael: Toes are overrated.
Sara: Thank you for trying to make me smile. Not today.
Michael: You never know.
Sara: We're all set.
(She moves the wheeled chair over to her desk. Michael leaves the room. Sara turns around to find a paper rose on her desk. She picks it up and smiles.)
[40. INT. Cells. Day.]
(Abruzzi shoves past other inmates , in a hurry. He reaches Michael's cell, checks around for guards, then enters.)
Abruzzi: You and me have a lot to talk about, don't we, Fish? Seems Philly Falzone ran into some problem up in Canada. Just because of the information you gave him.
Michael: What kind of trouble?
Abruzzi: International g*n charges, parole violation. He's gonna go away for a long time.
Michael: How do you feel about that?
(Pause. Abruzzi tilts his head.)
Abruzzi: Pretty darn good.
(Michael smiles.)
Michael: And what about PI?
Abruzzi: We got that back too. Falzone paid Bellick yesterday, so we're good. For now.
Michael: It all worked out.
Abruzzi: Sure did.
Michael: Nicely done. You're a hell of an actor.
Abruzzi: Thank you. This helped. It's nice. Nice sh*t. (He hands Michael the photo of Veronica.) Where did you take it?
Michael: It's Lincoln's from back in the day. A camping trip or something. So when do we get back in that room?
Abruzzi: Right away.
Michael: Well, let's get to it.
Abruzzi: Yeah. Oh, there's one more thing. You are gonna give me Fibonacci once we're outside these walls, right?
(They look at each other for a moment.)
Michael: Of course.
Abruzzi: Thank you. And I think I'll keep this, as insurance.
[41. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln lays on his bed, staring at the coded message from LJ.)
[Flashback:
(Lincoln is giving 5-year-old LJ his breakfast.)
Lincoln: More juice?
Young LJ: Why can't we have breakfast every day?
Lincoln: You should have breakfast every day, LJ. It's an important meal.
Young LJ: No, why can't I have breakfast with you every day?
Lincoln: Nothing would make me happier. But, uh...your mommy and me we don't live together any more.
Young LJ: Why?
Lincoln: Well, uh...sometimes that happens with mommies and daddies. But you know what? You're the luckiest boy in the world. Because your mommy loves you very much, and I love you very much. I tell you what, how about every Sunday, we have our own special breakfast. Just you and me. Yeah?
Young LJ: Yeah.
Lincoln: Little bit or a handful?
Young LJ: Handful.
Lincoln: Handful.
(He picks up a handful of blueberries and puts them in the pan.)
Lincoln: Here we go...]
(Lincoln opens his eyes and stares ahead.)
[42. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi walks up behind Fiorello, who is sitting at a table with some buddies.)
Abruzzi: Take a walk.
(Fiorello gets up and walks away.)
Abruzzi: Anyone else wanna walk with him?
(Nobody moves.)
Abruzzi: Yeah. This is my game.
(He sits and gets out his cards.)
[43. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Westmoreland: Looks like our friend got his throne back.
Michael: Looks like it.
Westmoreland: Something tells me we may have you to thank for that.
Michael: You don't wanna know.
Westmoreland: You got that right.
(C-Note comes up to them.)
C-Note: Stretch your legs, old head.
(Westmoreland walks away. C-Note sits down, opens his hand on the table and pours out a handful of concrete fragments.)
C-Note: Now, we got a hell of a lot to talk about, don't we?
(Michael reaches out and brushes them off the table.)
Michael: I got nothing to say.
C-Note: You think you can play me, Snowflake? 'Cause you got college? Big-school learning, huh? Well, let me school you. Darwin wins inside these walls. Not Einstein, Darwin.
Patterson: Yard time's over ladies. Let's line it up.
C-Note: I'm not done with you, Fish.
Michael: You never even got started.
(C-Note turns around, gives him a knowing smile. Michael scuffs the concrete fragments into the ground with his boot.)
[44. INT. Break room. Day.]
Michael: All right, we're through the hard part. Another 18 inches, we'll h*t that pipe. We'll be there by Friday.
Sucre: Friday?
Michael: Better start making travel arrangements.
Sucre: Maricruz, here I come, baby.
Abruzzi: Sardinia, here I come.
Lincoln: Where are we going?
Michael: Panama.
Lincoln: Panama.
Michael: Panama. Darien Gap, south of the canal. No roads, no electricity. No cops. Nothing but white sand beaches and ice cold beer.
Lincoln: Well, that's nice, but what about our lives?
Michael: Well, we'll open a scuba shop.
Lincoln: Hey, I don't dive.
Michael: Neither do I. We'll have plenty of time to learn.
(T-Bag knocks on the door.)
T-Bag: Bulls.
(Bellick walks in, followed by C-Note.)
Bellick: This con says he's on a job in here.
Abruzzi: No, I don't think so.
Bellick: You heard the paisana. Move your ass.
C-Note: CO, hold on one second.
(He walks purposefully over to the hole and stands right over it. The board creaks.)
C-Note: Now, you sure about that? You sure you can't use an extra hand?
(He taps his foot for further emphasis. Michael runs his hands through his hair.)
Abruzzi: You know anything about construction?
C-Note: Concrete is my specialty. Can you dig it?
(Michael nods his head.)
Abruzzi: Okay, boss. Sign him up.
Bellick: You got it.
(He leaves. C-Note looks at Michael.)
C-Note: Now it looks like Darwin wins after all, eh, Fish?
[45. INT. Cabin. Day.]
Nick: I have a lot of dots, but no way to connect them. Nobody's getting rich here.
Veronica: What about shareholders?
Nick: Well, profits, they were all converted back to shares.
Veronica: Looks like they subcontracted out some research and development, but it's pennies in the grand scheme of things. Nobody was pulling in early retirement.
Nick: Yeah well, you can't hide $500 million dollars just by moving a few decimal points.
(He turns up the TV. Someone is reporting at the campaign stand.)
Reporter: 'In a move anticipated by many, Vice-President Reynolds has announced she is running for the presidency. She made the announcement from her hometown of Montgomery, Illinois.'
Caroline (on TV): 'The move toward worldwide peace and prosperity is a marathon,. not a sprint. But I assure you, America will be setting the pace.
Veronica: A half a billion dollars doesn't just disappear. You could run a small country with that money.
Reporter: 'The vice president is reported to have the largest campaign w*r chest in history. It is so large, in fact, that prognosticators are already casting her as the favorite in the presidential race'.
Nick: Maybe not a small country. Maybe this one.
(Camera pans out of the window, through the trees, to show Quinn standing there watching the cabin.)
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x10 - Sleight of Hand"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
[1. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael wakes up, looks at his watch. He gets up, goes over to the sink and splashes his face with water. He dries it and sighs, thinking.)
[Flashback:
Michael is in a jewelers shop.
Michael: That one.
Jeweler: Nice choice.
Michael: Thanks.
Jeweler: Platinum. Brushed.
Michael: 6.25?
Jeweler: 6.25. She's a lucky woman.
Michael: Yes. She is.
(He holds up the ring to inspect it. It glints in the light, which turns into the light of Sara's pen in the following scene.]
[2. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
Michael: You kept it.
Sara: Kept what?
Michael: The flower.
(sh*t of the paper rose in Sara's cupboard.)
Sara: I'm a pack rat. I never throw anything out.
Michael (sarcastic): Yeah, all this clutter. It's overwhelming.
Sara: You should see my apartment.
Michael: Whoa. We haven't even had our first date yet and you're already inviting me in. I thought you were a nice girl.
Sara: Oh, Michael, we all know nice girls finish last.
(She picks up her stethoscope and gestures to him to lift up his shirt. She puts a hand on his shoulder, and the other on his chest listening to his heart.)
Michael: So where do you finish?
Sara: That depends on where I start. Deep breath. Exhale. Inhale.
(They look into each others eyes, almost as if they're about to kiss. Then they are interrupted.)
Katie: Sara, we're backing up out here.
Sara: Right, I'm sorry. (to Michael) I'm gonna get your sh*t.
(When she walks out, Michael walks over to the drain and pours the two chemicals from his toothpaste tubes down the drain. When they run together they make a hissing noise and bubble. He looks out of the window at thick power cable lines running across the yard from the infirmary wall to the outside wall. He looks up at the watch tower. Then he looks down at the ground and the camera pans down to a particular spot.)
[3. INT. Cabin. Day.]
(Nick sits on the kitchen worktop, LJ is sat on a chair the wrong way. Veronica paces.)
Veronica: This is not what I signed on for.
Nick: What do you want us to do? You want us to wave the white flag? Call time out?
Veronica: I just wanna get Lincoln off death row!
Nick: Lincoln? We just learned that Vice President Reynolds funnelled millions of dollars in research grants into her brother's company. That money was filtered into millions of small accounts that made millions of small donations to her campaign, setting her up to be the next leader of the Free World. This doesn't end with us stopping an execution anymore.
Veronica: For me it does.
(Nick walks away.)
[sh*t of their car outside the cabin.]
[Quinn is still watching them, standing in the trees. He raises his hand to show he is holding some sandpaper. He puts it to his cheek and rubs it hard, causing scarring and abrasions.]
[4. INT. Break room. Day.]
(T-Bag is also using sandpaper, on the wall in the break room.)
Abruzzi (holding a clipboard): Okay, let's rotate.
C-Note (in the hole, digging out concrete, quietly): Son of a...
Abruzzi: Sergeant Sodomy, you're up next.
(T-Bag ignores him, but goes over and collects a shovel. C-Note holds out a hand to be helped out of the hole. T-Bag just looks at him.)
C-Note: Come on.
T-Bag: I don't know about y'all but, uh... (He pulls C-Note out of the hole, but by gripping his arm instead of his hand.) ... this room is getting a little too dark for me to dig.
C-Note: Are you telling me that there's a hole in Fox River that you don't wanna get into?
(Ominous music plays. T-Bag gets right in C-Note's face. Lincoln moves to push them apart, but T-Bag moves forward for another go.)
Lincoln: Hey. No-one gets hurt.
(They separate.)
C-Note: Hey, you know, I got a question. How come Fusilli over here ain't handling a shovel?
Abruzzi: I handle arrangements on the outside.
C-Note: Really. So what is that, transport, paper, what?
Abruzzi: Exactly. Makes me manager.
C-Note: And that makes us just labour, right?
Abruzzi: Mmhmm. Now you're getting it.
C-Note (moves closer): You know, management better keep a close eye on the conditions up in here, or the labour's liable to go on strike. You feel me?
Abruzzi: Get back to work.
(Sucre enters quickly.)
Sucre: Whoa, whoa, CO coming. Hurry, you guys.
(The crew move quickly to put the wooden board over the hole, pull the carpet across and the table back, then pretend they are working.)
Abruzzi: Put that back up there.
C.O. Campbell: Scofield. Move it. It's time for your conjugal.
(The team look at him in surprise.)
Campbell: Your wife is here.
[OPENING CREDITS.]
[5. INT. Outside conjugal room. Day.]
(Michael's wife is searched by a female guard. Bellick is looking at the wife appraisingly.)
Bellick: So you're Mrs. Scofield. Ever done this before? Had a conjugal I mean.
Nika: No.
Bellick: Don't worry, I'm just trying to make conversation.
Female Guard: Clear.
(Nika walks into the conjugal room.)
Bellick: She look familiar to you?
Female Guard: No, Captain.
Bellick: I know her from somewhere.
[6. INT. Conjugal room. Day.]
Michael: You came.
Nika: Of course.
Michael: How've you been?
Nika: Fine. I found a job.
Michael: Good. I'm glad.
Nika: Is it awful, being here?
Michael: Remember the first place you stayed? That hotel, by the airport? Only difference is $69 and the free shampoo.
(He sits down on the bed. Nika sits next to him and puts her hand on his arm.)
Michael: You're still wearing it.
(Nika holds up her hand: her wedding finger has on it the ring Michael bought in the earlier flashback.)
Nika: Every day. I worry about you.
Michael: Don't.
Nika: Is there anything else that I can do?
Michael: Just what we agreed on.
Nika: I was so nervous when they were checking. (She reaches into her bra and takes out a credit card.) One question. Why would you need a credit card in prison?
[7. INT. Prison. Day.]
Sara: See, I don't think the riot changed anything. Have you seen the latest budget cuts for this place?
Katie: Another ten per cent from healthcare.
Sara: And 35 from prevention.
Katie: He might be the governor, but he's also your father. Maybe he thinks if he cuts enough, they can't afford you.
(Katie walks away and Sara smiles, but then stops. Ahead of her, Michael kisses Nika and hugs her.)
Michael: Thank you.
(Nika smiles and leaves. Sara, unsure what to do, turns and walks the other way.)
[8. INT. Search room. Day.]
Bellick: You understand this is standard procedure following a conjugal, right Scofield?
Michael: Never can be too careful.
C.O.: All right. Bend over.
Bellick: You have a good time in the romper room with that Euro?
Michael: Whatever you say, boss.
Bellick: She come around here before?
Michael: First time.
Bellick: You sure? 'Cause damn if I don't recognize her from somewhere. Maybe she visits some other con. k*lling two birds with one bone. Catching my drift?
Michael (not rising to the bait): I wouldn't know.
C.O.: All right. He's clear, Captain.
Bellick: Make sure you take a shower, Scofield. You never know what some women can give you.
(Michael picks up his box of clothes and ignores him.)
[9. INT. Break room. Day.]
T-Bag (singing): Swing low, sweet chariot...coming forth to carry me home...swing low... (he looks up at C-Note) You know this one don't you? (singing) Swing low...sweet chariot. Coming forth to carry me home. (He looks at C-Note again.) Come on, gimme something. I thought you was a musical people.
C-Note: You know, your parents must be so proud of you, man. I mean, hitting the trailer park trifecta. You're a r*cist, a paedophile, and stupid.
(T-Bag laughs and pulls himself up out of the hole, sitting on the edge.)
T-Bag: You know, it vexes me that I'm made out to be the bad guy in the room. It's not like y'all were incarcerated for stealing any Girl Scout cookies.
Abruzzi: None of us m*rder any Girl Scouts in the process.
Sucre (coming in): Michael's coming back from the boneyard.
(The team look panicked.)
Sucre: Alone, alone.
(Michael comes in and shuts the door behind him.)
Sucre: I tell you everything about me and Maricruz and you can't even tell me you're married?
Michael: Later.
C-Note: Rough day, huh Scofield? While the rest of us are in here slinging concrete, you got some little girl in to play on your rusty trombone, huh?
T-Bag: Man's got a point. It just doesn't seem equitable like, you know what I'm saying?
Lincoln: Shut up and dig, T-Bag.
Abruzzi: I think what the idiots inside here want to know is, while we're digging this hole, what are you doing?
(Michael looks round at them all. They wait, expectantly.)
Michael: I'm going shopping.
[10.INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Sucre puts a mirror out of the cell door bars.)
Sucre: We're good. All clear.
(Michael takes the credit card out of the lining of his jacket.)
Sucre: A credit card? The bulls catch you with that they'll be so far up your doggy door you'll be...
Michael: Don't worry. They won't be catching me with one.
Sucre: Why are you so sure?
(Michael rips the back off of the credit card.)
Michael: Because. (He holds up the credit card to reveal a security strip on the back: it's a keycard.) I don't have a credit card.
[Flashback:
Michael's desk, full of brochures and books about security codes. He puts a card in a card reader, and types on his laptop. The laptop copies a code onto the card in the card reader and it pops out again.
Michael puts stickers on the front and back to disguise it as a credit card.]
[11. INT. Inside prison walls. Night.]
(Camera on Michael's hand as it grips the grate above him. He moves it aside and pulls himself up through the hole. He walks along over the grates and suddenly stops d*ad: there's a guard walking on the grated walkway beneath his. He quickly presses up against the wall until the guard passes.)
(Michael walks on, and gets to a door with a window in it. Through the window he can see a guard, and a door marked "Receiving and Discharge". The guard leaves through a different door.)
(Michael walks up to the door, gets out his key card. He runs it through the security box on the wall, and the light turns from red to green. The door opens and Michael walks in.)
[12. INT. Receiving and Discharge room. Night.]
(Michael is in the room where they keep the inmates' belongings in boxes for the duration of their stay at Fox River. He locates his box, marked with his name. In the Authorized Property table, there is a tick by "Embossed Stamped Envelopes" only.)
[sh*t of the cabin in New Glarus - Night.]
[13. INT. Cabin. Night.]
(Veronica is sleeping, when a thud wakes her up. She sits up, then goes into the living area to investigate.)
Veronica: Nick?
(Nick is sleeping on the sofa. There is a sudden knocking on the door.)
Quinn (o/s): Help! Please...Please, I had an accident. My car is totalled. Please, is there anybody there?
(LJ walks into from another room. Nick reaches for his g*n and gestured for them to stay silent.)
Veronica: We can't just ignore him.
LJ: The hell we can't.
Quinn (still knocking, o/s): Help me, please...help me, please!
(Nick goes over to the door.)
[sh*t of Quinn through the spy hole.]
Quinn: Ow. God!
(Nick undoes the bolt and opens the door. Quinn comes in.)
Nick: What happened?
Quinn: I must have dozed off. I've been driving for 12 hours.
LJ: Should I get him some water from the well?
Nick: No, the well's dried up.
Quinn (in pain): Oh God...
Nick: I think there's a medical kit over there...
(Nick turns his back on him and walks across the room. Camera remains on him and suddenly a g*n is fired, hitting him in the back. He falls with a yell.)
Quinn: No-one's going anywhere.
ACT 2.
[14. INT. Cabin. Night.]
[Camera begins on Veronica's face, with tape over her mouth. She is sitting beside LJ who is in the same state; both of their hands are tied behind their backs.]
(Quinn leans over Nick and takes his g*n out of his pocket.)
Quinn: All right, say goodbye to Junior.
(He grabs LJ's chair and drags it backwards into the next room. LJ makes muffled yells. Quinn shuts the door on him and then sits opposite Veronica.)
Quinn: You know how many pints of blood the human body has? The answer is ten. Ten pints. How many do you think Prince Charming over there on the floor has left? Eight? Going on seven. I'll tell you what, I'm gonna take him out to the woodshed and have a little talk. In the meantime I want you to chew on this: you tell me everything that you have discovered about the Burrows case, and who else you've told about it, and there's a chance that I might let you go in time to get Mr. Savrinn to a doctor. You decide whose life is more valuable. The guy waiting to die on death row, or the guy wishing he'd die out in the woodshed.
[15. INT. Prison. Night.]
(Michael takes the box of his possessions over to a large pipe opening.)
[Flashback: A C.O. is putting Michael's stuff into the brown bag that he is taking them out of in the present day.
C.O.: One suit, black. One pair of socks, black. One pair of shoes. Shoelaces. One small tape recorder. One gold watch.]
(Michael opens the envelope that had the gold watch put into it, but it is now empty. He throws the envelope down, angrily.)
[16. INT. Cabin. Night.]
(Quinn takes the tape off of LJ's mouth and sits opposite him.)
Quinn: You ever stayed at a fancy hotel, LJ? You leave your room in the morning, it's a mess. Wet dirty towels on the bathroom floor, last night's room service stinking to high heaven. Then, you come back at night, it's all gone. Fresh towels, clean sheets, candy on the pillow. It's just the best feeling in the whole world. 'Cause someone else cleaned up your mess, all you had to do was walk away.
LJ: Don't you hurt them.
Quinn: Okay. But you gotta tell me exactly what they know and who else they have told, and nobody has to die tonight. You just walk away. Let me clean up your mess.
LJ: I don't know what's going on. I swear to God.
Quinn: Well, I wish I could believe that.
(He puts the tape back over LJ's mouth and slaps him round the head before leaving the room.)
[17. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Westmoreland: Bellick assigned me a new cellmate.
Michael: Who'd you get?
Westmoreland: Some new fish. Ran a bump and swipe on an off-duty cop. Fast hands, faster mouth.
Tweener: Yo, what's crackin', my peoples?
Westmoreland: Speak of the devil. Michael Scofield, David Apolskis.
Tweener: 'Sup. I seen you before, right? You're part of that PI crew. Maybe you can hook me up. Y'know, brother needs to make some green, some cashish, you know what I'm saying?
Michael: The pay is 19 cents an hour.
Tweener: 19 cents? That's sl*very, yo.
Michael: That's prison, yo. Besides, PI's all full up for now.
Tweener: All right. I feel you. But keep a brother in mind, you know, if somethin' opens up, yo. Hell, I'll pay 19 cents an hour to get me some more time out of the block.
(Tweener hits his own chest with his fist then points at Michael with two fingers, and walks away.)
Westmoreland: Like having another kid. Already raised one. I'm too old to do it again.
Michael: You ever hear of anything being stolen from R&D?
Westmoreland: Of course. Bulls steal from personals all the time. Problem is, you never know what's gone until you're on the outside of the walls. At that point, you can't do anything about it.
Michael: What if you knew now?
Westmoreland: Look. I told you. Leave me out of whatever it is you've got going.
Michael: I just need to know if you've seen a guard with a gold watch.
Westmoreland: There's a lot of people can get you a gold watch in here.
Michael: Yeah, but I need this specific gold watch.
Patterson (outside the fence): Westmoreland! Pope wants to see you. Let's go.
Westmoreland (to Michael): Look. I haven't seen nothin'. But there is this one CO. Word is, he's the worst thief in here.
[20. INT. Prison. Day.]
(Camera on the wrist on a guard, there's a gold watch on it. Zoom out to reveal it's Geary. He hands some documents to Bellick.)
Geary: My wife just faxed this over for you from County Records, copy of Scofield's marriage license. She says you owe her big time. Looks legit. He wasn't trying to sneak in some whore for a conjugal.
Bellick: Says here they got married the day before Scofield robbed that bank.
Geary: Why the hell would he do that?
[21. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael and a group of other inmates are at work in one of the yards. Behind Michael, Lincoln stands by the fence in ADSEG.)
Lincoln: Heard from Veronica?
Michael: No.
(He watches Geary walk across the yard, clearly wearing the gold watch.)
Lincoln: Just a note from LJ, saying he's with her, that he was safe. But now it's been a while. Doesn't feel right. Feels wrong.
(Michael is preoccupied, watching Geary. The CO is talking to another guard.)
Geary: I gotta go.
Lincoln: Really wrong.
Guard: I'll see you.
[22. EXT/INT. Woodshed. Day.]
[Camera pans in on the woodshed at the cabin.]
(Nick is slumped up against the wall, blood still leaking from his wound and pooling next to him.)
Quinn: I, uh...I've come to a realization. Either Miss Donovan and that boy don't like you very much, or they have an unreasonable amount of faith in your cardiovascular system. So tell me, Nick, this all you got? (he waves a file in Nick's face.) This paper trail of an indictment that never even happened? Is this it? We know you don't have a surveillance tape any more, you know, you don't have anybody to testify...
(Nick reaches out slowly for a lump of wood.)
Quinn: ... so is this really all you've got?
(Nick says nothing. Quinn sighs.)
Quinn: Mr. Savrinn, that b*llet went through your teres major, ripped the lateral margin of your scapula, leaving you absolutely no medial rotation of your arm. So if you try to swing that piece of lumber at me...
(Nick grips the wood and tries to raise his arm, then screams in pain as something cracks.)
Quinn: It's gonna feel like your arm is ripping out of its socket. Come on, Nick. Mr. Project Justice. We both know why you're really here, don't we? And it ain't to save Lincoln Burrows' life.
[Camera sh*t of the cell block in general population. All the cell doors are open and the inmates are walking towards the exit.]
[23. INT. Tweener's cell. Day.]
PA: All prisoners, you've got fifteen minutes of walk time.
Tweener (rapping): Inside these walls, I creep and I crawl, lookin' for a way out, but I know there's gonna be no easy route, this is gonna be a 12-round...(he writes in his book)... a 12-round bout...with Bellick and T-Bag on my mind, this grind in here...
(Michael clears his throat. Tweener looks up.)
Michael: You still interested in getting in on PI?
Tweener: Does my momma got big breastices?
Michael: I wouldn't know.
Tweener: Hell yeah she does. And hell yeah I do.
Michael: All right, look. I need a favour. Word is you made your trade as a snatch and grab.
Tweener (smiling proudly): That's right.
Michael: I need you to steal something back that was stolen from me.
Tweener: What kind of 'something' we talkin' about?
Michael: Just a watch.
Tweener: Uh-uh. There ain't no such thing as just a watch. Every design has a different clasp, every clasp has a different swipe.
Michael: It's Italian. A Remedi. Gold band, pearl face, all weather.
Tweener: What year?
Michael: 2003.
Tweener (shakes his head): That's a butterfly clasp on that bitch.
Michael: Which means what?
Tweener: Hidden deployment. There ain't no way to snatch it without the mark feelin' it.
(Michael is disappointed.)
Tweener: Which just means I'm gonna have to get whimsical on this ficky.
(He holds out his fist to Michael, who bumps it with his own.)
Tweener: I get you this watch, that mean I get in on some of that PI?
Michael: It means I'll think about it. No promises.
Tweener: Why you need this watch so bad anyway?
Michael: Let's just say it means a lot to someone in my family.
(Tweener nods as Michael walks away. He stands at the cell door, and it closes.)
[Camera sh*ts of different inmates standing in front of their cell doors, as one by one they slam closed.]
[24. INT. Pope's office. Day.]
Pope: Come in Charles, sit down.
(Westmoreland sits in the chair in front of the desk.)
Westmoreland: What's going on?
Pope: I got some bad news, Charles. Your daughter is very sick. She's got oesophageal cancer. Now, she's at Sacred Heart, in Indianapolis, and she wants to see you while there's still time.
Westmoreland: How much time?
Pope: Doctors say a few weeks. The problem is the DOC is not gonna let you go. They think you're still a flight risk.
Westmoreland: She's my only child.
Pope: I know that. Believe me, Charles, I've lobbied on your behalf. It's state policy. They will only extend furloughs in the case of funerals.
Westmoreland: You're tellin' me I have to wait until she dies before I see her?
[25. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Michael stands by the window. He watches two guards doing a round of the prison yard. He looks at his watch.)
Katie: Mr. Scofield. Looks like I'll be administering your sh*t today.
Michael: Where's Doctor Tancredi?
Katie: We've got a busy schedule today. She's with another patient.
(Shouting starts in the corridor.)
Guard (o/s): Hold his legs! Hold his legs down! Hey, we need a doctor here!
(Katie runs into the corridor.)
Katie: What happened?
(Geary and Campbell run in with a gurney: on the gurney Tweener is shaking, having an apparent fit, with food all over his face and down his sweater.)
Geary: I don't know, the kid was in chow, all of a sudden he collapsed and started spitting up his food!
Katie: Looks like he's having some kind of seizure.
Sara: Get him up here, make sure he doesn't hurt himself.
(Geary and Campbell lift Tweener from the gurney onto the bed, Tweener is still fitting and choking.)
Sara (to Katie): I'm gonna need O2 and cardio from you.
(Michael looks on from outside the door. Camera sh*t of Geary's wrist, with the watch on, holding Tweener down.)
(Tweener sees him and manages to wink.)
Geary: Hold 'im! Hold 'im!
(Camera moves to Geary's wrist again. The watch is gone. Michael smiles.)
[26. INT. Cabin. Day.]
(Veronica, still gagged, has moved her chair over to the furnace and is trying to burn off the ties holding her hands behind her back. The door opens and she quickly moves her chair away. Quinn enters.)
Quinn: So Ms. Donovan. How is that background in real estate law going for you? Is it a big help? Hm? Well, frankly, I think we caught a break. If Lincoln had nailed a girl with half a brain, she probably would've brought this whole thing down already. But you know what the worst part is? That you dragged these people into this knowing that you had no clue how to get them out. I mean, if you had just minded your own business, people like Leticia Barris, she wouldn't have a mouthful of maggots right about now.
(Veronica looks up, shocked.)
Quinn: Your fiancé would not be lying in his apartment, waiting for the smell of his rotting corpse to let the neighbours know that something had gone horribly wrong. That's right, their deaths are on your head. You made this mess. Nobody else. You. But you are also the one person that can end it all right here. All I need to know is who else you've involved. So you just nod and I'll know you're ready to talk.
(Veronica sits perfectly still, staring at him.)
Quinn. Whew. You know, Ms. Donovan, I think that you look a little cold. Maybe you'll find it easier to talk after you've warmed up a little.
(He goes to light an oil burner. Veronica whimpers, then when his back is turned she breaks free and swings the chair at him, hard.)
ACT 3.
[27. INT. Cabin. Day.]
(Veronica runs into LJ's room, rips the tape off his mouth and begins to untie him.)
LJ: Where is he? What happened?
Veronica: We gotta move. Come on, we don't have time. Come on.
[28. INT. Woodshed. Day.]
(Veronica and LJ run into the woodshed.)
Veronica: Come on. We're getting out of here!
(She cuts his ankle ties.)
Veronica: Where are the keys?
Nick (weakly): Pocket. Left.
(Veronica gets the keys and throws them at LJ.)
Veronica: Start the car!
LJ: Is he gonna be all right?
Veronica: Go and start the car, LJ!
(LJ disappears. Veronica goes to pull Nick up.)
Veronica: Come on. We're gonna get you to a hospital all right?
[29. EXT. Cabin. Day.]
(LJ runs to the car and gets in. He tries to start the car but the engine splutters.)
LJ: Come on...
(A g*n explodes the back window, spraying glass all over LJ. He ducks and gets out of the car, ducking behind it. Quinn comes out of the cabin and sh**t again, this time hitting the rear windscreen. LJ makes a run for it into the woods.)
[30. INT. Prison cells. Day.]
(Westmoreland walks along the cells until he gets to Michael's. He taps the watch on the bars.)
Westmoreland: A gift from my cellmate.
Michael: Thank you. And thank him.
Westmoreland: The watch. What's it for, anyway?
Michael: Thought you didn't wanna know about any of this?
Westmoreland: Things have changed. I want in.
Michael: Why the sudden change of heart?
Westmoreland: I have my reasons.
Michael: Don't take this the wrong way, but everyone who's in is bringing something to the table.
Westmoreland: How about money?
Michael: How much we talking about?
Westmoreland: I think you know.
Michael: I seem to remember several conversations that ended with "I am not DB Cooper."
Westmoreland: I lied.
Michael: You lied.
Westmoreland: We're cons. We tend to do that.
Michael: I checked your alibi. According to records, you were incarcerated at the time of the Cooper hijacking.
Westmoreland: My father and I share more than just a weakness for easy money. We also share a name. Charles Westmoreland Senior was the one locked up that day. Now do you want the money or not?
Michael: No offence, but it's a little convenient. You want in, and suddenly you're the guy. How do I know you're not lying right now?
Guard: Hey, Old Man River. Keep it moving.
(Westmoreland moves away towards his own cell.)
[31. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael takes the back off the gold watch, and the back off the small recording device. He wires them together, and straps them together with elastic bands. He looks at the finished device and smiles.)
[32. EXT. Break room. Day.]
(Abruzzi stands outside the break room on watch.)
[33. INT. Break room. Day.]
(T-Bag fills the walls with the concrete fragments, then turns to Sucre who is in the hole.)
T-Bag: Hey, Sucre. I got a question about you and the rest of the Mexicans.
Sucre: I don't think I'll be able to help. Seeing as I'm Puerto Rican.
T-Bag: Geographical semantics, amigo. I'm speaking about the general Latino population. How is it that a people so historically lazy ended up being such a big part of the nation's workforce?
Sucre (angry): The way I see things, it's everyone else that's lazy. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any jobs for the immigrants. The ones sitting at home, collecting unemployment, the lazy ones - it's not us.
(T-Bag turns round to C-Note.)
T-Bag: You gonna let him talk about your people like that?
C-Note: Whatever, Deliverance. You know what, we may be a team in here, but just so that you know: the minute we get over that wall it's every man for himself. Or sooner.
[34. EXT. Woods. Day.]
(LJ races through the trees, Quinn after him with his g*n drawn. Quinn raises his g*n and fires.)
[35. EXT. Cabin. Day.]
Veronica: LJ?
[36. EXT. Woods. Day.]
(Quinn looks around for LJ.)
CUT TO: Veronica walking through the woods.
Veronica: LJ? LJ!
CUT TO: camera sh*t of a pair of legs walking across the muddy ground.
CUT TO: Veronica in the woods. Suddenly a twig snaps and Quinn comes out of the trees.
Quinn: You know how the Russians do things? They let you live, and they k*ll everyone else in your family and anyone you've ever loved. How's that sound?
Veronica: Go to hell.
Quinn: Oh, come on. Is that any way for a lady to talk?
(Veronica glances at the covered well in the ground that is just in front of Quinn. He puts a foot on it.)
Quinn: What, you think I'm an idiot? I'm just gonna walk into a well? Seriously, Ms. Donovan...
(LJ comes running out of the woods at top speed: he slams into Quinn so hard he knocks Quinn down the well and falls onto the ground himself. Getting up, he walks over to Veronica and they both look at the well.)
Veronica: You all right?
(Camera sh*t of Quinn lying at the bottom of the well, groaning, with his cell phone next to him.)
[37. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael and other inmates are working.)
PA: Attention inmates. Weight pile is out of bounds until further notice. Weight pile is out of bounds until further notice.
(Michael looks up at the cables running from the infirmary window to the outside wall. He looks up at the watch tower, then squats down to the ground. He quickly digs a very small hole with a trowel. He checks around for guards. He gets the watch/recording device out of his pocket, puts it in the hole and buries it except for a very small piece of the top.)
Guard: Scofield! No sitting down on the job! I want you out here working where I can see you.
Michael: I'm on it, boss.
Guard: Move it, Scofield! Move it!
(Michael looks back at the device, and then walks away.)
(Camera zooms in on the device in the ground.)
[CUT TO: Michael pacing in his cell, wringing his hands together.]
[CUT TO: the device in the ground.]
[Camera zooms in to the device beneath the ground: the watch reads a few seconds before 9pm. As they tick to the hour, a red light comes on and the tape in the recording device starts turning.]
[CUT TO: Michael sitting on his bunk, rubbing his head with his hands.]
[CUT TO: guards feet walking over the yard, focus is on the device in the ground. They stop dangerously close to it, and one of them lights the other's cigarette. Then they walk on without noticing it.]
[CUT TO: Michael, in his cell, looking anxious.]
[CUT TO: close up of the tape going round in the recording device.]
[38. INT. Bellick's office. Night.]
(Bellick is looking at the file they have for Nika, when they checked her out for visitation/conjugal. Camera zooms in on Nika's photograph, then on Bellick's face as he seems to recognize her.)
[39. INT. Lap-Dancing club. Night.]
(Bellick walks in and one of the dancing girls speaks to him on his way through.)
Girl: Hey, Brad! Good to see you.
Bellick: Hey, baby.
Man (o/s): All right ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for our next lovely young lady. Up on the main stage, its Jasmine.
(Camera pans up the dancing legs of a girl, who is wearing only blue lingerie. As Bellick stares at her, the camera reveals its Nika.)
ACT 4.
[40. INT. Lap-Dancing club. Night.]
(Nika walks up to the bar and looks over at Bellick. She is now wearing slightly more clothes. Bellick is sitting in shadow so she can't see his face.)
Nika: Would you like a private dance?
Bellick: Why don't you sit down and chat for a while? See if we h*t it off.
Nika: What's your name?
Bellick: Brad. Yours?
Nika: Jasmine.
Bellick: Come on. Your real name.
Nika: It's Nika.
Bellick: Nika. That's a pretty name. Tell me, Nika...How's your husband feel about you working in here?
Nika: I'm not married.
Bellick: I hope you're lying for the sake of titillation. Otherwise, your little visit to Fox River this morning would have been breaking the law. (He leans forward, out of the shadows.) Mrs. Scofield.
Nika: We are married, but they tell all the girls to lie. It's better for making business.
Bellick: I'm not here to get you in trouble. I just wanna know a little more about your husband.
Nika: Well, he's a very good man.
Bellick: I'm sure he is. But even good men do bad things. Your accent. You're from...don't tell me...Budapest, right?
Nika: Prague.
Bellick: Prague. How recently did you come over? Only a couple of months I bet. You like it here in America?
Nika (uncomfortable): You know, I really have to get moving. They don't like us to spend too much time in one spot.
Bellick: Now, I don't want to have to check into your immigration status. (He places his police badge on the table.) I just need to know what Michael Scofield wanted from you in exchange for the green card.
Nika: Nothing. We met while he was studying overseas...
Bellick: I don't want to know what you memorized for the INS. Now, either you answer my questions about Scofield, or I call my guy in the Chicago PD. And maybe he starts asking some questions about you.
(Pause. Nika stares at him then sighs.)
Nika: Credit card. He asked me to bring him a credit card. That's it.
(She walks away in disgust.)
[41. EXT. Well. Day.]
(Quinn comes around and groans. He reaches in his pocket for his cell phone and dials.)
Quinn: Yeah, trace this call. Come and get me now! New Glarus, I'm in New Glarus.
[Camera pans over the prison. Day.]
[42. INT. Chapel. Day.]
(Westmoreland walks in to sit by Michael. Michael holds up a bible for him.)
Westmoreland: No thanks. I bought my own. (whispers) Dorothy Andrews Elston Kabis. United States treasurer, 1971. The year of the DB Cooper hijacking. DI192589. The first number in the series of bills used in the ransom drop.
Michael (whispers): Thanks for the history lesson. All it proves is you did the research. Same as me.
(Westmoreland stands, hands Michael his bible and walks away.)
(Michael notices something sticking out of the bible. He pulls it out. It's a $100 bill, bearing the same series number Westmoreland just told him.)
[43. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael digs up his watch/recording device.)
CUT TO: Sara walking over to him from the other side of the fence.
Sara: So you're married?
Michael (puts the device in his pocket): Uh, well...not in the traditional sense of the word.
Sara: Michael, we're both adults. Put your cards on the table.
(Michael stares at her.)
Sara: Okay, I'll go first. Um, as one of a very few women around here, I'm used to a certain amount of innuendo and flirtation being thrown my way. I'm not used to enjoying it.
Michael: Look, Sara...
Sara: It's Dr. Tancredi. And please let me finish. I'm not a jealous woman. But I'm a careful one. And for some reason when I'm around you, I'm not careful.
Michael: You don't have to be.
Sara: Yes I do. There's so many questions surrounding you, Michael. There are way too many. So here's the deal. Um...from now on, your sh*ts, any medical concerns, they're all fine as long as it's doctor/patient. But personal questions and favours of any kind are no longer part of our relationship.
(She turns to walk away.)
Michael: The questions you have about me. There are answers.
(Sara continues walking. Michael looks upset.)
[44. EXT. Well. Day.]
Kellerman: Quinn.
Quinn: Hey, I was getting worried. You guys get lost?
(Kellerman peers down the well and looks away, trying not to laugh.)
Hale: We had to call you again to pinpoint your signal but you never picked up.
Quinn: Yeah battery went d*ad on the damn cell phone. What are you gonna do, right?
Kellerman (clearing showing his strapped up fingers): So, uh...how'd it go?
Quinn: Well, I got a broken leg down here. Uh, listen, you know, I think maybe we got off on the wrong foot. You got bosses, I got bosses, I mean but at the end of the day we're all on the same team. Right, we're just trying to tie up some loose ends.
Kellerman: I could not agree more.
Quinn: Yeah. So can you guys get a rope or a ladder or something?
(Kellerman takes off his jacket, moves to the well and grabs the wooden board that goes over the top. He drags it over. Quinn hears it.)
Quinn: What the hell is that? Hey. Hey!
Kellerman: Just tying up some loose ends.
Quinn: You stupid son of a...hey! Hey, guys...don't do this. Don't do this!
(Kellerman spits on the board, and puts his jacket back on. Hale looks shocked.)
Quinn (o/s): Come on, please. My leg is broken. I can't stand, you gotta help me.
Hale: You can't just leave him down there. He'll die.
Quinn (o/s): I'm begging you, please...
Kellerman: He's the only one who knows we don't have the Burrows kid. The only one.
Quinn (o/s): I got a family! Kellerman! Hale! Guys!
Kellerman: There's room for you down there too, Danny.
(Hale walks off into the trees, not happy. Kellerman follows.)
Quinn (o/s): Don't leave me like this. Don't leave me! Please! Please!
(Camera pans down to the wooden board covered with leaves.)
[45. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Sucre washes his face in the basin.)
Sucre: Coming back to PI today? It's getting kinda testy in there, you know.
Michael: Yeah. I just needed to find something out.
(He is sitting on the bunk looking at the watch/recording device.)
Sucre: What the hell is that?
Michael: Listen.
(He switches it on. The tape hisses.)
Sucre: Am I supposed to be hearing something?
Michael: Shh. Just hold on.
(The tape hissing continues.)
[Camera blends into a sh*t of Sucre standing at the left side of the bunk.]
[Camera blends into a sh*t of Sucre standing at the right side of the bunk, leaning over it.]
[Camera blends into another sh*t of Sucre standing with his back against the bunk, head back.]
[Camera blends into a sh*t of Sucre sitting on the top bunk, feet hanging over the edge.]
[Camera blends into a final sh*t of Sucre leaning over the bunk at the left side.]
(In all these scenes, Michael has stayed in the same position, holding the device.)
(Jingling is heard on the tape. Michael looks at the watch on his wrist and stops the tape.)
Michael: There.
Sucre: What?! We sat around for 20 minutes waiting to hear that?
Michael: 18 minutes actually. And yes. (he leans back on his bunk, satisfied.)
Sucre: What was it?
Michael: Keys. The guards' keys. 18 minutes is how long we have between each time the guards pass beneath the infirmary windows on their rounds at night. Cons aren't allowed outside after hours. It was the only way I could find out the timing.
Sucre: What does that mean?
Michael: It means... (he checks out the cell door.) ...Four days from now, on the night of the escape, we'll have 18 minutes to get the bars off the window and for all seven of us to get across the wire and over the wall.
Sucre: Is that doable?
Michael: Of course.
(He looks unsure.)
[46. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Lincoln is sanding the wall. He notices Michael staring into space and goes over.)
Lincoln: What's up?
Michael: Nothing.
Lincoln: Hey, I know that look. What's up?
(Sucre's spade makes a clinking sound.)
Sucre: I h*t it! I h*t it!
[CUT TO: T-Bag outside on watch. He hears the noise and listens at the door.]
C-Note (o/s): Guys, guys...
[CUT TO: Inside break room.]
Abruzzi: All right, all right...
(T-Bag enters the room.)
Lincoln (to Michael): Come on, Michael. Talk to me.
Michael: You want the good news or the bad news?
Lincoln: The good.
Michael: Westmoreland and his money are in.
Lincoln: What's the bad?
Michael: I've done the math. I figure it'll take at least five minutes for us to get the bars off the window in the infirmary, and two minutes for each to get across the wire and over the wall.
Lincoln: So?
Michael: We've only got 18 minutes. We've got two many people.
(Camera sh*ts of Sucre, C-Note, Abruzzi, T-Bag.)
Michael: One of 'em has to go.
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x11 - And Then There Were 7"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
[Flashback: Michael is at the interview in which he secured the position to help design Fox River.]
Interviewer: Sorry to keep you waiting.
Michael: Oh, it's not a problem.
Interviewer: Hmm. Impressive resume.
Michael: Thank you.
Interviewer: Tell me why you chose to pursue a career in engineering.
Michael: Well, um. I've always been interested in, ah...structure. Geometry. How things fit together. How an object that performs a function can also be a work of art.
Interviewer: What about the future? Where do you see yourself in five years?
(Michael looks at him.)
[Camera pans over Fox River State Penitentiary.]
[1. INT. Prison pipes system. Night.]
(Michael makes his way over to the bag of his possessions he previously stole from the Receiving and Discharge room.)
[Flashback:
Geary: One suit, black.]
(Michael takes the suit out of the bag and takes it with him. He comes to a fork in the tunnel, and chooses the left pipe. He rips off one of the buttons and throws it down another pipe. It bounces until it comes to a halt, and Michael listens.)
(He throws the suit in after the button, then slides down himself. He is at the bottom of a vertical drainpipe, and looks up at least 20 feet to see a grate at the surface. He looks over at a hole in the one of the walls, near the floor.)
He rips open the suit and pulls out some rope and a bin bag that was hidden in the lining. He puts the suit in the bin bag, ties it up with rope, and stuffs the bin bag in the hole so its airtight. He lets the remainder of the rope lay on the floor.)
[2. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(T-Bag is on the telephone.)
T-Bag: That baby boy all growed up yet? (he laughs) Oh, he's gonna raise hell the next few years. Take after his momma. Yeah, you know. Same old same up here. (he looks across the yard and makes eye contact with Abruzzi.) But uh, things are getting pretty tense. Like they're fixing to, uh...collide. You know what I mean, Jimmy? There's a potential situation.
[3. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Michael: I found our access to the infirmary building but I'm gonna need some time to make it work.
Lincoln: How much time?
Michael: Enough for me to find my way up a 20 ft vertical drain pipe without using a ladder. I'll probably need to skip PI tomorrow if I'm gonna get this thing done.
Lincoln: You can't just skip it. It ain't class. What if one of the bulls decided to drop in?
Michael: Well, I don't have a choice do I? Once we get through the pipe below the guard's room, it'll be a whole lot easier. I can come and go without using the door and with Westmoreland as a lookout, we'll have one more man available for digging.
Lincoln: Westmoreland's gonna be a problem. All seven of us can't break over that wall in 18 minutes. You said it yourself, it's impossible. Listen, man, I'm telling you. One of us has gotta take a hike.
Michael: I know.
(They come round the corner to find C-Note standing there.)
C-Note: Mind if I share that with the rest of the class?
[4. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Michael rubs his head, distressed.)
C-Note: Apparently, college boy here did the math. Figured out that we got too many clowns in the car. So one of us is in here digging, but his seat ain't guaranteed.
Lincoln: How's this your problem?
Michael: He doesn't know what he's talking about.
Sucre: I'm not gonna dig if I'm not gonna go (he throws his tool down).
Lincoln: We need to make a decision who gets cut.
Abruzzi: I think we all can agree who that should be, right?
(The door opens, and T-Bag comes in.)
T-Bag: Pardon me for interruptin', but uh...what's that smell? (he sniffs the air.) It smells a little like...conspiracy.
Michael: We need to get back to work.
T-Bag: Yeah well before you do I have an announcement to make. I've been growing leery of the way y'all talk like I'm a lesser man. So I bought an insurance policy. I called up my guy on the outside and I told him about our plan. And I told him in all likelihood, I'll be seeing him next week. But if he don't hear from me five minutes before the escape and 20 minutes after, I told him to call up the warden, blow the whistle on the whole thing. So if y'all got ideas about gettin' rid of me, I suggest you make other plans.
OPENING CREDITS.
[4. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(The PI team walk back through the gates.]
Lincoln: Son of a bitch has got a countermove for everything.
Abruzzi: Not for this.
(Abruzzi looks back at T-Bag, who is walking alone. C-Note and Sucre are behind him.)
C-Note: Odd men out. Me and you.
Sucre: What do you mean?
C-Note: Look who you're walkin' with right now. You should be up there, calling the sh*ts with the rest of the suits.
Sucre: Yeah? So?
C-Note: So? Scofield is only here for one reason. His brother. And he only needs two things. The old man's money, and the mob boss's plane. He don't need you. You just happened to be in the same cell when he got here. You and the toilet.
Sucre: I've done a lot of work on this thing.
C-Note: Exactly. And me too. You know, we're just the damn labourers on this thing, man. The night that Fish goes into that hole, you think he wants to carry all that extra baggage? 'Cause that's all we are.
Sucre: I don't know about you, but I'm going.
(He goes to walk on, but C-Note catches his arm. Sucre looks down at the hand on his arm, then up at C-Note.)
C-Note: How much does he tell you anyways? Or does he keep it all to himself? Yeah he probably tells you the less you know the better, right?
Sucre: You don't know what you're talking about. He tells me everything.
C-Note: If he tells you everything, then you don't need him. Now, we can go by ourselves. Me and you. Or, you know, you can wait, and see if Scofield really wants to carry a heavy weight. It's up to you, papi.
[5. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael stares at the water pipe in the yard. Tweener comes up behind him.)
Tweener: Yo. I'm still waitin'.
Michael: What for?
Tweener: I swiped you that watch, man. Where's my PI?
Michael: That's not gonna happen.
Tweener: You promised.
Michael: I said I'd think about it. Maybe somewhere down the road.
Tweener: Yeah, I ain't gonna hold my breath.
[Camera sh*t of an ambulance, lights and siren on, going down the street. A car pulls up quickly outside a building. Sign outside reads: New Glarus Hospital.]
[6. INT. Nick's car. Day.]
(Veronica is holding Nick in the back seat, he's bleeding profusely.)
LJ: What do you want me to do?
Veronica: Get somebody, now!
Nick: No, no! They see a b*llet, they're gonna call the cops!
Veronica: We don't have a choice, okay? I'm not gonna let you die.
Nick: Find it.
Veronica: What?!
Nick: The b*llet. Just find it and dig it out.
Veronica: I can't!
Nick: Do it!
[7. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Michael uses a mop to make a hole in the thin layer of plastic under the grate in the corner which he had previously corroded. He takes a paper crane out of his pocket and drops it into the hole: it falls to the floor of the maintenance room beneath the infirmary.)
(A door opens in the corridor.)
Bellick (o/s): Where's Scofield?
(Michael puts the mop back and waits.)
Bellick: There you are. Just looked for you in your cell. Couldn't find you anyplace. Couldn't find your credit card either. You know the one I'm talking about.
(Sara comes up to the doorway.)
Bellick: The one your whore wife trunked in the other day. She told me all about it. (He turns round and sees Sara.) Maybe 'whore' is too strong. What do you call a girl who married a felon to get into the United States? Why'd she have to come here for, anyway? No strip clubs in Whazistan?
Sara: Officer Bellick.
Bellick: Captain.
Sara: Fine. Do you mind conducting your inquisitions on your own time please? I have a schedule to maintain.
Bellick: Excuse me, Doctor. I was just asking Mr. Scofield about the contraband he had his stripper wife trunk in the other day. But you go ahead, your job's more important.
(He walks away. Michael sits down in the chair and Sara puts on her gloves.)
Michael: He's had it out for me since the day I got here.
Sara: Hold still please.
Michael: Sorry.
(There's a silence. Sara begins to do the sh*t.)
Michael: I only married her so she could get her green card.
Sara: I saw you coming out of the conjugal room.
Michael: That's just business.
Sara: You don't have to explain it to me, Michael.
Michael: I know. But I want to.
(Sara walks out of the room, Michael is left holding the cotton wool on his arm where she just gave him his sh*t.)
[8. INT. Prison cell block. Day.]
(The inmates are walking back to their cells. T-Bag is behind Westmoreland.)
T-Bag: DB. Oh, is that who you is now? I thought you was just a cowboy.
Westmoreland: Take a couple of steps back, boy.
T-Bag: You know, what I can't understand is why somebody like you wants to get out anyway? How you gonna survive, huh? The world's all different now. It's scary. They got computer phones, boobies made of silicone. You wouldn't know what to do.
Westmoreland: I don't have to justify myself to you.
T-Bag: Oh, you're gonna have to. Them old bones is just gonna be dragging us done. Maybe I'll just snap a few of 'em right now...
(Westmoreland shoves T-Bag away from him hard.)
Westmoreland: Take your best sh*t.
Geary (from the stairs): Hey, break it up down there.
T-Bag: Bow out, cowboy. I'm not gonna warn you no more.
(Westmoreland ignores him and walks into his cell.)
[9. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Day.]
(Abruzzi is sitting on his bunk, staring at the wall.)
(Someone walks past outside and drops a note on his bunk. He picks it up and looks at it. He looks back up at the wall. There's nothing there that we can see except a rust stain.)
[10. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi walks over to the fence segregating him from Lincoln.)
Lincoln: What's up?
Abruzzi (handing him something through the bars): Records from the phone in the yard. James Bagwell lives down in Gary.
Lincoln: T-Bag's insurance policy?
Abruzzi: Yeah. My guy's gonna lock him up in a moving van for a couple of days until we're in the clear.
Lincoln: Moving van?
Abruzzi: Yeah. Don't worry, he can breath and all. We do it all the time.
Lincoln: What about T-Bag?
Abruzzi: He's no longer a thr*at. Trust me.
(Abruzzi moves away, past T-Bag who is sitting on a bench watching them.)
[11. EXT. Jimmy Bagwell's house. Day.]
(Jimmy lifts his son Jimmy Bagwell Junior onto a rocking horse in the front yard.)
(A van drives up, and the driver gets out.)
Maggio: You James Bagwell? Got a delivery for you.
Jimmy: Yeah?
(Jimmy follows him towards the van, and Jimmy Junior follows too.)
[12. INT. Hospital. Day.]
(LJ sits outside in the hall reading a paper. Veronica comes to sit next to him.)
Veronica: You all right?
LJ: Yeah.
Doctor: Ma'am?
Veronica: Yes?
Doctor: Can I speak with you, please?
Veronica: Of course. (to LJ) You stay here okay? (to the doctor) Is he gonna be okay?
Doctor (o/s): We don't know yet, he's lost a lot of blood.
(LJ looks at the newspaper.)
Doctor (o/s): I was going to call the police but I wanted to speak with you first.
(LJ is looking at the obituaries: Lisa Rix, Funeral Service, Today at 2:00, Westlake Cemetery. He looks up at Veronica.)
Doctor: His wound is obviously the product of a g*n.
CUT TO: Veronica and the doctor
Doctor: You need to be honest with me. What was he doing when he got sh*t?
Veronica: He was in the garage, underneath his car.
Doctor: He's in surgery right now. The blood loss has caused his muscle tissue to suffer from a lack of oxygen. He's also sustained a fair amount of damage to his shoulder. With a b*llet there's always an increased risk of infection. So he has to be admitted. Is there anyone you should call? Any family?
Veronica: No. It's just me.
Doctor: All right, well I'll let you know as soon as he's in recovery.
(Behind them, LJ is walking out the exit.)
Veronica: Thank you.
(Veronica turns around and sees LJ's chair is empty, the newspaper left on it.)
[13. EXT. Cemetery. Day.]
(Hale drives into the cemetery. The car cell phone rings.)
Hale: Yeah?
CUT TO: Kellerman, walking in the street.
Kellerman: Are you there yet?
Hale (o/s): Almost.
Kellerman: Remember, be patient. Follow his lead. We want the trifecta today.
CUT TO: Hale, getting out of his car.
Hale: Yeah, I'm on it.
(He hangs up and looks over at the mourners. There's no sign of LJ yet.)
[14. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi in on the telephone.)
Abruzzi: It's me.
Maggio (o/s): Yeah, I got bad news.
Abruzzi: Like what?
CUT TO: Maggio outside Jimmy's house.
Maggio: The job you ordered went bad. The guy was paranoid, he had a g*n. One thing led to another.
CUT TO: Abruzzi in the yard.
Abruzzi: What, he's d*ad?
Maggio: Yeah. And unfortunately...there was a kid there.
Abruzzi: What are you...what are you talking about? You k*lled a kid?
Maggio: It was unintentional.
Abruzzi: It's a kid, man!
Maggio: I know, I'm sorry. The SOB used him as a shield.
Abruzzi: A boy or a girl?
Maggio: I don't know, a boy.
Abruzzi: How old?
Maggio: Four, maybe five.
(Abruzzi closes his eyes in dismay.)
ACT 2.
[15. INT. Prison visiting room. Day.]
Sucre: Who's here to see me?
Patterson: Hell if I know. Some lady.
(Sucre looks across and sees Maricruz sitting at a table.)
Sucre: Baby.
Maricruz: Hi.
Sucre: You look so beautiful.
Maricruz: I came here 'cause I have to tell you something.
Sucre: What?
Maricruz: I'm pregnant, Fernando.
Sucre: Pregnant?
Maricruz: With your baby. I'm gonna have your son.
Sucre: You...you're gonna...we...we're gonna have a baby? (turns around to speak to someone) Oye, papi, you hear that? I'm gonna be a dad!
Maricruz: I'm not finished.
Sucre: What, mami? What?
Maricruz: Okay, Hector - he asked me to marry him.
Sucre: What?
Maricruz (crying): Look, it's crazy, I know.
Sucre: Well, tell him no. Tell him you're having my son, we're gonna be a family.
Maricruz: Fernando, look, my mom, she says that having a baby is the hardest job in the whole world. And it's even harder if I do this by myself. And all I know is, I'm really scared. I'm really scared to do this alone.
Sucre: You're not gonna have to.
Maricruz: Well, I haven't told him no yet.
Sucre: You're not actually considering this?
Maricruz: Oh, baby...I don't know. I don't know.
Sucre: My God, baby, you gotta stop listening to these people. They're poisoning your brain. Your hormone things, they're out of whack. You're not thinking straight. This is our child we're talking about. I want you to listen to me. I want you to wait. I'm gonna be out. Sooner than you think.
Maricruz (shaking her head): You keep on telling me that.
(A buzzer sounds.)
Patterson: All right. Visiting time is up. Let's go.
Sucre: Tell me. Tell me you're gonna wait.
(He hugs her.)
Patterson: Hands off, Sucre.
Sucre: You're all I got left in the world, baby. Please. I love you.
Maricruz: But you'll learn to love again, right? (She walks away.)
Sucre: Tell me you're gonna tell him no, honey.
Maricruz: I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.
(Patterson moves over and pats Sucre on the shoulder.)
Patterson: Sucre. Come on.
[16. EXT. Cemetery. Day.]
(LJ drives the car through the cemetery and stops.)
CUT TO: Hale in his car on his cell.
Hale: The kid's here.
Kellerman (o/s): Perfect. Follow him back to the lawyers, call me back.
(LJ walks over to the coffin, which is still on the stand on the grass. There are no mourners there now. He smiles slightly to see all the flowers, then he sees the coffin and tries very hard to hold back the tears. Hale watches him and is saddened by his grief.)
[17. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Sucre is in his bunk. Michael arranges his own bedding so it looks like someone is sleeping in it.)
Sucre: Where are you going?
Michael: I'll be back in ten minutes.
Sucre: What do you have to do?
Michael: It's complicated. I can't explain. But if it works, you'll see soon enough.
Sucre: I wanna go with you. I wanna see now.
Michael: Someone has to stay here. I need a look out.
Sucre: I'm always on look out.
Michael: You're my cell mate. Who else is gonna do it?
(Sucre is silent. Michael stands and holds his fist out.)
Michael: I'll be back in ten minutes, okay?
(Sucre bumps Michael's fist with his own.)
Michael: Okay.
(Michael goes behind the toilet into the wall.)
[18. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Night.]
(Abruzzi is staring at the wall. There is a rust stain on it, and inside it Abruzzi is envisioning the picture of Jesus Christ's crown of thorns.)
CUT TO: Outside Abruzzi's cell, a note on a rope is thrown outside it. Abruzzi's cell mate takes it and reads it.
Cell Mate: We're all lined up for tomorrow. Where do you want him?
(Abruzzi doesn't answer, still staring at the crown of thorns.)
Cell Mate: John. Tomorrow, where do you want T-Bag? In the shop or in the shed?
Abruzzi: Shh. I don't care. You decide.
[19. INT. Prison tunnels. Night.]
(Michael goes back to the vertical drain he was in the previous night. He turns the wheel on the water mains, opening the pipe. Then he looks up at the grate, 20 ft above his head.)
[20. INT. Church. Night.]
[Abruzzi's Dream:]
(Abruzzi walks up to an open coffin, at the end of an empty church. Inside the coffin is Jimmy Junior. Abruzzi looks at him. Suddenly a g*n fires and Jimmy Junior opens his eyes wide.)
[21. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Night.]
(Abruzzi jolts awake from his dream. He looks over at the image of an angel, and crosses himself. It's more defined than ever.)
ACT 3.
[22. INT. Hospital. Night.]
(Nick is in recovery, Veronica at his side holding his hand. LJ walks into the room.)
Veronica: Thank God. Are you okay?
(She hugs him.)
LJ: Yeah, I'm okay. She didn't do anything. She didn't deserve it.
(Camera shows Hale behind them at the doorway.)
Veronica: I know.
(Veronica looks up at the doorway, but Hale is gone.)
CUT TO: Hale standing outside the door, leaning against the wall. He looks worried.
[23. INT. Prison cell block. Day.]
(C-Note walks past the cells, and one of his mates hands him some postcards.)
Inmate: Here you go, man.
C-Note: Yeah, you got it.
(C-Note flicks through the postcards, all from with images of Iraq on them.)
Inmate: These were seriously hard to get. What you need 'em for anyway?
C-Note: None of your business.
[24. INT. T-Bag's cell. Day.]
(T-Bag is sitting on his bunk. Pope comes up to the cell door. T-Bag stands and comes out.)
Pope: Thank you for waiting, Theodore. I don't mean to deny your time in the yard.
T-Bag: What's this all about?
Pope: I, uh...I'm afraid I have some terrible news. Your cousin James was sh*t and k*lled in his home. His son James Junior was k*lled as well.
(T-Bag is visibly upset and shaken.)
Pope: I'm very, very sorry.
(He leaves him standing there, looking like he might break down in tears any second.)
[25. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Day.]
Abruzzi: What does it mean? Am I chosen? Or what?
Reverend Mailor: Often, the Lord appears when you're in particular need of forgiveness. Maybe that's what's happening right now.
(Abruzzi looks guilty.)
[Flashback: Abruzzi giving the nod to his mob friend, who sh**t d*ad two men in his warehouse.]
[Flashback: Abruzzi cuts off Michael's toes.]
[Flashback: Abruzzi gouges out Fiorello's eye with a broken light bulb.]
Reverend: John, it's never too late. If you agree to accept Christ into your heart and turn from your sin, He will forgive you. And save you in Eternity.
(Abruzzi looks up at the image of Jesus and the crown of thorns.)
Reverend: Do you agree?
(Abruzzi nods, tears in his eyes now.)
Reverend: Revelation, chapter 3, verse 20. "Jesus said, 'Behold. I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him'."
(He hands Abruzzi a cross on a chain he took out of the bible he is holding. Abruzzi takes it, still staring up at Jesus and the crown of thorns. The Reverend looks up to see what he is looking at: camera shows that from his point of view there is nothing there, only a rust stain. Abruzzi kisses the cross.)
[26. INT. Prison cells block. Day.]
(The inmates file outside.)
Sucre: He got to the infirmary building last night through the old sewer pipe. It's the same pipe that runs under the guard's room. That's all I know.
(C-Note holds up his fist. Sucre bumps it gently.)
[26. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Bellick and Geary are watching Tweener walking in the yard.)
Geary: That's the little thumbsucker that swiped my watch.
Bellick: Who, Tweener?
Geary: Solid gold. Took it right off my arm. It was a half hour before I even noticed.
Bellick: Whose was it in the first place? I don't care if you stole it, you can tell me.
Geary: Michael Scofield.
(Bellick stares at him, then looks across at Tweener.)
[27. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(The inmates are at work in the yard. Westmoreland walks over to Michael.)
Westmoreland: What are you looking at?
(Michael looks over at the water mains tap.)
Michael: I'll be right around the corner.
(Michael walks over to the mains pipe and tries to turn the wheel but it's stuck. He uses the handle of his rake for leverage and finally the wheel gives way.)
[CUT TO: Water spilling out of the pipe in the vertical drain.]
[CUT TO: Michael turns the wheel the whole way round.]
[CUT TO: The water spills out faster, starting to fill up the drain.]
[CUT TO: Michael sets the stop watch on his watch and watches it. Its counting down, and reads 3 minutes 15 seconds...]
[CUT TO: Westmoreland looking anxious.]
[CUT TO: The water rising fast.]
[CUT TO: Michael looking at his watch: 2 minutes 55 seconds...]
[CUT TO: Patterson moving towards the corner.]
[CUT TO: The water almost at the halfway point.]
[28. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Patterson: Westmoreland!
Westmoreland (coughs, trying to warn Michael): You scared me, boss!
[CUT TO: Michael looks at his watch: 1 minute 30 seconds...]
[29. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Patterson: Get back to work!
(Westmoreland coughs loudly.)
[CUT TO: Michael, looking anxious.]
(Patterson blows his whistle.)
Patterson: All right, let's go!
[CUT TO: Michael looking at his watch: 5 seconds...4 seconds...3 seconds...2 seconds...]
(Michael stops the watch, and pulls the wheel to close off the water. The water is almost at the top of the drain. He picks up his rake and joins the other inmates.)
Patterson: Move it, Scofield!
(Michael smiles at Westmoreland, who smiles back.)
[30. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Day.]
Abruzzi (reading): "For me, I would call upon God and the Lord shall save me, cry aloud and He shall hear my voice." (He pauses.) "...He shall hear my voice...hear my voice...He shall hear my voice."
(He closes the bible to reveal he is hiding a blade underneath it. He slips the blade into his watch strap.)
Abruzzi: He shall hear my voice.
[31. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(T-Bag is working in the yard. Suddenly one of Abruzzi's cronies grabs him from behind, and three more join him, dragging him into the shed.)
ACT 4.
[32. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Sucre is writing a list of names: Oscar, Carlos, Alejandro. Michael is tying a strip of material from the bunk to the cell door.)
Michael: What are you doing?
Sucre: Nothing.
Michael: Well, keep an eye on the tier for me, will you?
Sucre: When are we getting out of here exactly? I need to know the time.
Michael: As soon as possible.
Sucre: 'As soon as possible', that's not a specific time. You tell Abruzzi the time?
Michael: Yes, because he needs to know.
Sucre: Why does he need to know and I don't?
Michael: Because he's arranging the plane. Why the sudden curiosity?
(Sucre is silent.)
Michael: Why would you want to be responsible for potentially dangerous information? The less you know, the better. It's for your own good.
(Sucre is not happy. Michael hangs a sheet over the material he just hung up.)
Michael: I have to go. I'll meet you in PI.
[33. INT. Bellick's office. Day.]
(Bellick is eating a fast food meal, and Tweener watches him from a chair next to the desk.)
Bellick: Stealing from a guard. You can get thrown in the SHU for that. Maybe even add a few years to your bit.
Tweener: I don't know what...
Bellick: No, don't deny it. I already know it's true. Lucky for you, I got some pull around here. I can make this sort of thing go away like it never even happened.
(Bellick picks up a fry, dips it in his milkshake then eats it.)
Bellick: That's good. Now...
(Tweener looks at the food longingly.)
Bellick: I'm sure you've heard the word 'rat'. I don't like it. 'Snitch' neither. Those sort of words aren't appropriate for what I need from you. What I need is a little information. Like when you're hanging out with Scofield. Just come back and tell me what he said.
(Tweener stares at the burger. Bellick reaches into the food bag.)
Bellick: I got an extra burger. But, man, I'm full. What do you say, kiddo? You want a cheeseburger? Or you wanna go to the SHU?
(Tweener thinks about it. Then he grabs the burger and starts eating it.)
Bellick: That's my boy.
[Camera sh*t of Agent Hale's house.]
[34. INT. Hale's house. Day.]
(Hale is standing at the window.)
Allison: Hey honey, what are you doing here? I thought you left.
Hale: I, um...I've been thinking. I think we need to make a change.
Allison: What are you talking about?
Hale: Remember when we first got married, and we thought about moving out west?
Allison: Yeah, we were 22.
Hale: Well, maybe we should give it a sh*t. It's not too late.
Allison: I don't understand. What bought this on?
Hale: It's just work. And I'm tired of being on the road working for somebody else while you sit at home all alone night after night. I want our lives to be about us.
Allison: I do too. But there's so much to think about, with the kids and the house.
Hale: We gotta go.
Allison: You're in trouble, aren't you?
[35. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Lincoln and Sucre are alone in the room, Sucre in the hole digging. C-Note comes in.)
C-Note: Oh, crowd has thinned out in here.
Lincoln: How you doing, Sucre?
Sucre: Almost there. Switch me out.
(Lincoln hands the spade to C-Note.)
Lincoln: You're up. Then Westmoreland. We gotta get through, Michael's gonna be coming back this way.
(Lincoln goes outside to take over watch duties. Westmoreland comes in.)
[36. INT. Prison pipes system. Day.]
(Michael comes through the pipe until he reaches the pipe that slides into the vertical drain. He puts his hand in and feels the pipe is half full of water, leading to the drain. He strips off down to his underwear, then slides into the drain.)
(He feels around for the rope, finds the end of it then swims up to the surface. He reaches out to grab the grate and slides it off. He pulls himself up into a maintenance room. Looking up at the ceiling, he can see the grate that he poked through in the infirmary, and the crane he dropped through is on the floor.)
(Michael pulls hard on the rope and the bin bag comes away from the hole. The water starts draining away. He ties the rope to the grate, then he walks over to the crane. He picks it up and throws it into the vertical drain. He walks over to the grate and picks off some more of the plastic that has been corroded. Above him, he can see Sara washing her hands.)
Sara: Katie, go ahead and bring that up.
CUT TO: The water level dropping in the drain.
(Michael looks down the drain, the camera watching him from inside.)
[37. INT. Hospital. Day.]
(Veronica and LJ are at Nick's bedside. The telephone in the room rings. Veronica answers it.)
Veronica: Hello?
Hale (o/s): Veronica Donovan?
Veronica: Who...who is this?
Hale (o/s): I...it doesn't matter who I am. Don't hang up.
(LJ and Nick watch her.)
CUT TO: Hale at home.
Hale: I have information that you may be interested in. Information that will lead to the exoneration of Lincoln Burrows.
Veronica: What? What is it?
Hale: I can't tell you that now. Meet me tomorrow at the Highland Cafe on Kennedy Avenue. This isn't a trap. I will tell you everything you need to know. Highland Cafe, 8pm.
[38. INT. Shed. Day.]
(Abruzzi's cronies are beating up on T-Bag viciously. His hands are tied with gaffer tape so he can't even think about fighting back. Abruzzi comes in.)
Abruzzi: All right, that's enough. Leave us alone.
Inmate: You sure?
Abruzzi: Get out of here.
(The three inmates throw him on the table and leave the room. T-Bag sees Abruzzi coming for him and tries to move away.)
T-Bag: You don't have to do this.
(Abruzzi reaches for the blade in his watch strap.)
T-Bag (scared): You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this...
(Abruzzi grabs him, raising the blade and bringing it slowly towards T-Bag's neck.)
Abruzzi: You bought it on yourself. I'm just an emissary for all the pain and suffering you caused. All the families you ruined. All the kids.
T-Bag: What about Jimmy? He had nothing to do with this. You didn't need to k*ll him. And what about his beautiful son? (crying) His whole life was in front of him, why did you need to k*ll a beautiful child?
(Abruzzi pauses.)
T-Bag: After all I've done, maybe I do deserve to die. Maybe I do. But you are no better than me.
(Abruzzi grips the front of his jacket and yanks him upright.)
Abruzzi: But I can be. If I want. (In T-Bag's face) God has given me the chance to choose.
T-Bag: What?
Abruzzi: And maybe I should give you a chance as well.
T-Bag: You should. Anything, anything. Please. Please...please.
Abruzzi: Back out. (He puts the Kn*fe on T-Bag's cheek.)
T-Bag: Of the escape?
Abruzzi: Or die.
T-Bag: I wouldn't...I wouldn't make it out there anyway. Not with my proclivities.
Abruzzi: I want you to give me your word. You hear me? (shakes him.) I want you to give me your word!
T-Bag: You got it. You got it, John. You got it. Come on, you got it.
Abruzzi (raising the blade): Swear.
T-Bag (in terror): I'm out! I swear! I swear to God! I swear...
(Abruzzi drops his blade hand and T-Bag's head falls forward onto his chest, Abruzzi cradles him.)
Abruzzi: All right. All right! (He sets him back down on the table.) I have forgiven you. I have forgiven you.
(T-Bag is crying, he doubles over on the table.)
Abruzzi: You just have to pray that the Lord Jesus Christ will do the same.
(Abruzzi turns away. T-Bag sits up: he has a razor blade between his teeth. He takes it out with his still tied hands.)
T-Bag: Hey, John. You know, actually, about Jesus...
(Abruzzi turns around. T-Bag slashes the blade across his neck. Blood spatters in arterial spray on the window.)
T-Bag: ...say hi to him for me, will you?
(He cuts the ties on his hands, and walks out past Abruzzi who is bleeding and choking on the ground.)
[39. INT. Break room. Day.]
C-Note: I'm through.
Westmoreland: Keep it up.
Sucre: Come on, stomp it.
(C-Note stamps on the remaining concrete.)
CUT TO: Michael in the pipe beneath the break room, now dressed. In front of him, concrete falls into the pipe.
CUT TO: Lincoln on watch, outside the break room. Geary comes round the corner. Lincoln runs into the break room.
Lincoln: Bulls.
Sucre: Oh, hurry. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry up...
(Westmoreland goes over to the door.)
Westmoreland (to Lincoln): You gotta stall 'em. We're not ready.
Lincoln: Hey, boss.
Geary: What you doing out here, Linc?
Lincoln: Taking a break.
Geary: I gotta check the status in there.
(Lincoln moves to stop him going in.)
Lincoln: It's all good.
Geary: Then you won't mind me checking it out.
CUT TO: the wooden board being put over the hole.
CUT TO: Michael in the pipe.
Michael: Hey. Hey!
CUT TO: Lincoln and Geary.
Geary: What the hell's your problem, con?
CUT TO: C-Note and Sucre hurrying to put the carpet and the table back.
CUT TO: Lincoln and Geary.
(Lincoln moves to stop Geary getting past.)
Geary: Hey, hey! Step off, or you're going to the SHU!
(Westmoreland is still at the door, they're not ready. Lincoln sighs, then shrugs, hauls off and punches Geary.)
(Two more guards race round the corner.)
Guard: Burrows! Get off him!
(Lincoln stays on top off Geary until the guards reach him, dragging him off.)
Guard: Get off! Get up!
(They drag Lincoln away. Geary gets up, feeling his jaw.)
[40. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Westmoreland comes back into the room. The inmates take off the wooden board and help Michael up through the hole.)
Michael: Thanks. Well, we leave tonight.
(Sucre, C-Note and Westmoreland look despondent.)
Michael: Where's my brother?
Westmoreland: Michael, we got a big problem.
(Camera pans over the prison yard, two guards dragging a struggling Lincoln away towards the SHU).
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x12 - Odd Man Out"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
(Abruzzi is on a gurney being rushed to an air ambulance. Camera remains on his half-closed eyes as he strains to remain conscious. Sara presses a towel against his neck to stem the bleeding.)
Sara: Stay with me, John. I need you to stay with me. Breathe. Keep breathing. You're gonna be okay. Keep breathing.
(Camera shows what Sara looks like from Abruzzi's point of view; her voice is echoey.)
Sara: Stay with me, John. You stay with me, John. You stay with me.
(Abruzzi's POV: Sara's echoey voice above him says "Keep breathing".)
Sara: All right? Can you do that? Keep breathing. You're gonna be okay. Stay with me. Almost there. Almost there.
CUT TO: The PI team (Michael, Sucre, Westmoreland and C-Note) come running out of the break room up to the fence, watching in shock.
(Abruzzi's POV: Sara: "...be okay...")
CUT TO: Sara, Katie and two COs carry the gurney to the air ambulance.
EMT (o/s): Large laceration to the throat.
Sara: He's lost a lot of blood. He's hypovolemic.
EMT: Got it.
EMT #2: What's his blood type?
Sara: A neg!
EMT #2: His blood pressure's too low. He's definitely hypovolemic. We gotta get him to Chicago.
Sara: Chicago's a 20 minute flight!
(Sara watches as they hook him up to monitors and bags of fluid.)
EMT #2: We gotta go, Doc.
(Sara steps back. The air ambulance takes off: Abruzzi is still conscious but barely. Inmates are watching the air ambulance.)
CUT TO: The PI crew by the fence. T-Bag joins them, peeing through the mesh.
T-Bag: And then there were six.
C-Note: Far as I know, there's five.
[1. INT. The SHU. Day.]
(Geary throws Lincoln into some racking, then onto the floor.)
Geary: Don't you ever step up to me like that again!
(Geary hits Lincoln with his baton, Lincoln yells in pain.)
CUT TO: Lincoln being dragged down a dimly lit corridor by two COs. He is put in a dark, isolated cell and locked behind a metal door.
[2. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Warden Pope walks down the path in the yard, flanked by two COs. Michael comes up the fence to speak to him.)
Michael: Where's my brother?
Pope: He's in a lot of trouble, son.
Michael: You have to let me see him.
Pope: That's not a request I can grant at the moment.
(He starts to walk away.)
Michael: Please!
Pope: We're 36 hours away from his execution. He panicked. He got violent. For that reason, for the rest of his time at Fox River, we're gonna keep him in ADSEG, for his safety and everybody else's.
Michael: But I'm his brother. I deserve to see him. That's my right.
Pope: It's not your right to see him. Until tomorrow. At his execution.
(Michael has tears in his eyes.)
Pope: I'm sorry, son.
(He walks away. Michael grips the fence in agitation.)
OPENING CREDITS.
[3. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Sucre is on the telephone.)
Sucre: The name is John Abruzzi. A-B-R-U-Z-Z...I don't care what protocol is. I just wanna know if he's okay. Hello? Hello?
(He hangs up.)
Sucre: Coño.
(He walks over to the others and shrugs.)
Sucre: The hospital won't give out any information.
T-Bag: Wonder what happened to that boy. Maybe them Mafia chickens came home to roost after all.
Michael: We gotta put this whole thing on hold.
C-Note: Whoa, easy, Fish. We're not puttin' nothin' on hold.
Michael: I don't think you heard me. Until I get my brother out of that hole, no-one's doing a damn thing.
C-Note: God bless Sink, but the man is gone. You go to the tombs, you don't get out, not until they strap you up.
Michael: If you think I'm gonna leave my brother behind, you have massively underestimated me.
C-Note: Really?
Michael: Really.
T-Bag: That ain't my fight. I'm through that hole, Pretty, with or without you, next time I'm on PI.
Michael: We're not having this debate.
T-Bag: We're not?
Michael (firmly): We're not having this debate!
T-Bag: We oughta open the floor to everyone else, huh? See what they all say.
C-Note: We got a clear sh*t, baby. Every day we don't use that hole is another day the screws can find it.
Michael: The way is not finished.
T-Bag: We're clear to the infirmary, that's all we need. Through that window, over that wire, over that wall.
Michael: The two of you will never make it.
C-Note: Oh, Fish, it's not just to.
(He nods at Westmoreland. Michael turns around.)
Westmoreland: If it's now or never, we gotta go. Go with us, Michael. You've done everything you could.
T-Bag: They're grown men, Michael. They can all decide for themselves.
Michael: You son of a...
(Michael grabs his jacket with both fists and shoves him against the fence. T-Bag holds his hands up, innocently. C-Note and Sucre hurry to pull them apart.)
C-Note: Hey, wait a minute, back up...
Geary (running over): Hey! Who are you separating there?
C-Note: Hey, it's good boss, it's good. We're just playin' around. It's all good.
(Geary walks away. C-Note walks over to the others, Michael is glaring at T-Bag.)
C-Note: You know what, there are two things that everybody needs to get with. First, hillbilly, you have got to learn some respect. The man here made everything possible. And you, Fish? You're gonna have to get with that we are doing this thing this afternoon, as soon as we get on PI.
(Michael chuckles ironically.)
Michael: So you're just gonna make a run for it. In the middle of the day.
C-Note: Well, you gotta do what you gotta do, huh, baby?
Michael: You are gonna screw this whole thing up.
C-Note (laughs): That's not for you to decide anymore. Now, this train is leaving the station, and I suggest you get on it.
T-Bag: Get on the train, Fish. Get on the train.
Michael: Well, you know what? You sons of bitches? I won't let you do it.
T-Bag: What you gonna do? Blow the whistle on your own escape?
(Michael storms away.)
C-Note: He'll be back.
[4. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(In the darkness of his solitary cell, Lincoln lights a single match and stares at the flame.)
[5. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael stands, head in hands, at the basin. Sucre sits on his bunk.)
Sucre: Those guys, they go before us tonight, they use that hole, it's over. COs will turn this whole place upside down till they find it.
Michael: Well, sounds like you're thinking about it.
Sucre: I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. I wanna be out of here yesterday. I got a kid coming, man.
(Michael picks up a rosary.)
Sucre: Michael, you can't get him out of there.
(He jumps down from the bunk.)
Sucre: Can I say something? I know you're not gonna wanna hear it, but they're strapping him up either way now. Once he's gone, you'll be stuck here for another five years. And if they trace that hole back to you, they'll toss another dime. That's fifteen years, papi. Of course, if I were you, I wouldn't leave my brother behind either. Not to die like that, no. Uh-uh. Worst thing in the world they can do to a man is strap him to a chair like that.
(He puts a hand on Michael's shoulder. Michael's eyes drift down to the inside of his bicep, and he runs his finger over the tattoo of a gravestone.)
(Camera sh*t of New Glarus Hospital - Day.)
[6. INT. Nick's hospital room. Day.]
(Nick hangs up the telephone.)
Nick: We're in business.
Veronica: What do you mean?
Nick: I just spoke to a friend of mine who's a clerk at the superior court. I told him about the informant, that you'd be seeing him at 8. If he gives us any evidence that will warrant a stay, my friend said he'll hear us out. We still might be able to stop this thing.
Veronica: I gotta tell Lincoln.
Nick: You go to that prison, they're gonna be all over you, you know that.
Veronica: They wanted to keep us on the run this entire time because if anybody hears from us, we can do them damage. Maybe it's time we do the exact opposite - go big.
Nick: What do you mean, "big"? You mean media big?
Veronica: We got all the a*mo we need. There's a string of m*rder a mile long connected to this thing, we expose that...
Nick: Are you ready to show your face again? Huh? Are you ready for that?
Veronica: It's the bottom of the ninth. What else are we gonna do?
[7. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(C-Note walks over to the yard phone, puts a cloth over the receiver and dials. A little girl picks up.)
Dede: Hello?
C-Note: Hey. This is Daddy, baby girl.
Dede: Daddy! (To her mom.) Daddy's on the phone! (to C-Note) How are the camels?
C-Note: Oh, well, the camels... (he glances over his shoulder) ...the camels are fine.
Dede: When do I get to see you?
C-Note: Earlier than I thought.
Dede (to her mom): Daddy said he's coming home soon!
C-Note: Hey, hey, put mommy on the phone.
(Dede hands the phone to Kacee Franklin.)
Kacee: Thanks sweetie. (To C-Note) First Sergeant Benjamin Miles Franklin, how are you?
C-Note: Oh, baby. Just driving trucks, eating dates, trying to keep the sand out of my eyes.
Kacee: I saw on the news the other day it was 110 in Kuwait. You must be melting over there.
C-Note: You have no idea.
Kacee: What's this I hear about you coming home soon? You're not getting your daughter's hopes up, are you?
(She picks up a postcard off the side: it's one from Iraq that C-Note acquired in the previous episode.)
C-Note: You sitting down?
Kacee: Sure.
C-Note: Your man is coming home this week.
Kacee: This week? What are you talking about? They said you were gonna be there for another year.
C-Note: Hey, the orders just came down the pipe. And the hell if I care where they came down from. The only thing that matters is that we're gonna get to see each other.
Kacee (excited): When? When is this happening?
C-Note: Thursday, Friday. I'm not sure yet.
Kacee: Oh my...do you...do you need me to pick you up from the airport?
C-Note: Oh, no. No, no. The army's got that all arranged. You know, you just be waiting for me.
Kacee: Well, you know I got that down.
(C-Note laughs.)
Inmate (behind C-Note): Today, C-Note.
(C-Note covers the receiver.)
C-Note: Would you back up? (to phone) Hey, hey, uh...you know, comm. is only letting me use this linkup for a few more minutes, so, uh...Is Darius there? I need to speak to him.
Kacee: Yeah, yeah, I'll go get him. I love you.
C-Note: I love you more.
Darius: Yo.
(C-Note takes the cloth off the receiver.)
C-Note: Yeah, what's up, money? Your sister out of the room?
Darius: She is now. So, how is it out there, man? Fox River all that they say it is?
C-Note: Oh, man, it ain't all that. Not for long anyway.
Darius: What do you mean by that?
C-Note: I need you to do something for me.
Darius: Yeah, all right.
C-Note: You still driving that Escalade?
Darius: Is Michael Jackson still white?
C-Note (laughs): You got jokes, son. How many does it hold?
[8. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael leans on his cell door, thinking. Sucre is on his bunk, reading.)
Michael: Okay.
Sucre: Okay what?
Michael: Let's do it.
Sucre: What, you mean tonight? What about Linc?
Michael: I need a razor blade.
Sucre: Michael, a razor blade ain't gonna get him out.
Michael: Do you have one or not?
[9. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael uses a lighter to sterilize a razor blade.
Sucre: Careful, bro.
(He rolls up his sleeve to reveal the gravestone tattoo again. He looks at the ceiling, takes a deep breath and presses the edge of the blade into his skin, cutting along a line drawn under the gravestone. Sucre winces.)
Sucre: Ay, Cristo amado.
(Michael rubs his finger over the cut, blood running over his hand. Finally a small bead-shaped object emerges from the incision. He pinches a small black pill between his bloody fingers and puts it in the palm of his hand.)
ACT 2.
[10. EXT. Outside Fox River. Day.]
(The anti-death penalty protests have started outside Fox River, and the press is there to cover it.)
Protestors: Thou shalt not k*ll! Thou shalt not k*ll! Thou shalt not k*ll!
[11.INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln is in his dark cell, he lights another match and prays quietly.)
Lincoln: ..."leadeth me beside the still waters, restoreth my soul. Leadeth me in the path of righteousness for Your sake"...
[12. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael prays with Reverend Mailor, both kneeling beside his bunk. An open bible and the rosary beads are on the bunk.)
Michael/Reverend Mailor: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For Thou art with me.
Michael: Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
Michael/Reverend Mailor: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.
Reverend Mailor: And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.
Michael (very upset now): Amen.
Reverend Mailor: He does hear our prayers, the Lord...
Michael: Yes.
Reverend Mailor: ...on behalf of Lincoln. All who seek forgiveness will be delivered.
Michael: Yes.
Reverend Mailor: If your brother accepts the Lord, he'll be free of this cage forever, it can't find him.
Michael: Yes.
Reverend Mailor: I'll be available through this whole thing if you need me.
Michael: Reverend... (he picks up the rosary beads) ... Reverend, would you give this to my brother? It'd mean a lot to him knowing it came from me.
Reverend Mailor: I will.
(He leaves the cell. Sucre comes back in.)
Sucre: That was my mother's.
Michael: Tell her it's gonna save someone a lot of pain.
Sucre: You sure you know what you're doing?
Michael: It's in God's hands now.
[13. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Sara dresses the self-inflicted Kn*fe wound on Michael's arm.)
Michael: It feels like you've been the clean-up crew for me the whole time I've been in here. Toes, contusions, insulin sh*ts.
Sara: Well, somebody's gotta do it.
Michael: Well, I'm grateful. You ever think, in another life...
Sara: I won't be that woman, Michael.
Michael: I wasn't asking you to be. But it is something to wonder about. What if? Anyway. Just wanted to make sure it was said.
Sara: Why do I feel like you're saying goodbye to me?
Michael (smiles): I don't know. I guess in a place like this, you never know which day is gonna be your last.
(Sara looks at him. The door opens and Katie looks in.)
Katie: Sara, we got a backup out here.
Sara: Okay. You're set. I, um...I'm sorry about your brother.
(They gaze at each other for several seconds. Then Sara begins to walk away. Michael catches her arm.)
Michael: Doctor...
(He moves his hand down her arm until he is holding her hand.)
Michael: Thank you.
(He looks at her for a lingering moment, before walking out of the infirmary. Sara also leaves.)
(When the room is empty, a janitor walks in to refill some supplies and clean the counter. He walks to a garbage can located near the grate where Michael had been dumping corrosive chemicals. He takes the trash, eyes the grate briefly, then turns and leaves.)
[14. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael checks his watch. It reads 3:59pm. Michael and Sucre are waiting for the cell door to open.)
Sucre: This is it, bro. Hey...
(He offers his hand, and they hug.)
Sucre: Good luck to both of us.
CUT TO: Bellick enters the wing.
Bellick: PI! Let's do it!
(A buzzer sounds and all the cell doors slide open.)
[15. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(The PI crew - Michael, Sucre, T-Bag, C-Note and Westmoreland walk across the grounds.)
T-Bag: Came to your senses did you?
(Michael ignores him.)
T-Bag: What, you figure some magic way to get your brother out of that hole and into the guards' room?
Michael (coldly): He's not gonna be there.
(The rest of the men share a look as they walk behind Michael.)
[16. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(The door to the cell slides open. He shields his eyes against the light.)
Reverend Mailor (to a CO): Could you put the light on? (to Lincoln) Are you okay?
Lincoln: What do you think, Rev?
(The CO shuts them both in the cell.)
Reverend: I spoke with your brother today. He's been praying for you.
Lincoln: He must be desperate.
Reverend: What about you? Are you feeling desperate?
Lincoln: No. Just for everyone else.
Reverend: The ones you leave behind.
Lincoln: The ones I never got to say goodbye to.
Reverend: I can be with you all day tomorrow, you know. Right up to the time.
Lincoln: Thank you.
Reverend: Oh, he wanted me to give this to you. Michael.
(He hands over the rosary. Then he knocks on the door to be let out. Lincoln stares at the cross.)
[17. EXT. Prison. Day.]
(The anti-death penalty protestors are still chanting 'Thou shalt not k*ll'.)
(Camera pans over the parking lot to an empty space. A car pulls up into it.)
(As Veronica gets out, the camera moves to another car. Agent Samantha Brinker is sitting inside, along with Agent Tangrin, who visited Lincoln before under the pretence of being a reporter.)
Brinker (to Kellerman, over cell phone): She's back in play.
CUT TO: Kellerman.
Kellerman: Good. Who's there with you?
Brinker: Tangrin.
Kellerman: What about Hale?
Brinker: Nope. MIA.
Kellerman: He's supposed to be there. What do you mean, MIA?
Brinker: I think it's a fairly concise term.
(Kellerman hangs up and immediately dials Hale's number.)
[18. INT. Hale's house. Day.]
(Hale's cell phone is on the table, ringing. Hale and his wife Allison are packing.)
Hale: Don't get it.
CUT TO: Kellerman, who hangs up, annoyed.
CUT TO: Hale's house.
Allison: What time's the flight?
Hale: 11. Speaking of which, I gotta head up to Wrigleyville. I'll be back in a couple hours to collect you. Make sure you pack everything. Once we're out that door, we're not coming back.
Allison: What are you gonna do?
Hale: There's a letter I gotta deliver.
(Camera pans down to the letter in Hale's hands.)
[19. EXT. Prison. Day.]
(The press are getting ready to report live from the prison. The protestors are still chanting. Veronica walks up to the news van.)
Reporter: Lady you're gonna have to step away, we're about to go live...
Veronica (to the Producer): Listen to me, my name is Veronica Donovan. I represent Lincoln Burrows.
Reporter: Great, but this isn't the time for it.
Producer: Ma'am, you're gonna have to step aside.
Angela West: I'm sorry, Miss Donovan? Did you say that you represent Lincoln Burrows?
Veronica: That's right.
Angela: Angela West. I'm a producer with News Six.
[20. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln examines the cross closely. He turns it over and notices the back of the cross is loose. He picks it until the back comes off, revealing the small black pill and a tiny piece of paper. Lincoln picks it up to look at it. It reads: "EAT. 8.10.")
[21. INT. Break room. Day.]
(T-Bag is working on the drywall.)
T-Bag: So, Mr. Pied Piper, what's the play?
Michael: We do what we always do. Pretend to be working. Be model citizens, till the time comes.
T-Bag: And that'd be?
Michael: Nine 'o clock.
T-Bag: You seem to be forgetting the fact that PI shuts down at five 'o clock, Pretty.
Michael: Well, we have to make sure it doesn't, don't we?
[22. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Michael removes a piece of drywall, then rips out some insulation to reveal a water pipe. The rest of the team watch him.
Michael: Hammer.
(Michael grabs the sledge hammer from Sucre and swings at the pipe.)
C-Note: Whoa! What the hell are you doing, man?
(Michael ignores him and hits the pipe again. After a couple of good blows, the pipe splits and water sprays out, soaking the room as well as the team.)
[23. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Two COs stand over the soaking wet PI team, sitting on the floor. Camera pans over them: T-Bag, C-Note, Michael, Sucre, Westmoreland. Then Bellick comes storming in.)
Bellick: What the hell happened here?
Michael: Messed up. h*t a pipe. Should've k*lled the water before we started.
Bellick: Should've, huh?
Michael: It's not that big a deal, we can fix it in the morning. I don't think mould should be a problem before then.
Bellick: Mould?
C-Note: Scofield, shut up, man!
Bellick: No, you shut up. What are you talking about?
Michael: You get drywall and insulation soaked like this, you run the risk of stachybotrys mould.
C-Note: Boss, that's just like, one time in a thousand, for real.
Bellick: Tell you what. You and all your Compañeros here aren't stepping outside this door until every damn molecule of water is out of this place.
(The PI team mutter and moan.)
Sucre: Well, then it's gonna take all night.
Bellick: Well, then it's gonna take all night. Don't catch a sniffle.
(He walks out, and all the COs go with him. The PI team all smile and Westmoreland shakes Michael's hand.)
C-Note: Man!
(Michael sighs.)
[24. EXT. Prison. Day.]
Protestors: Free Burrows! Free Burrows! Free Burrows!
Angela (to the Producer): A lot of it checks out.
Producer: Put her on.
Angela: All right. (to Veronica) Miss Donovan, if you don't mind, we'd like to put you on.
Veronica: That's why I'm here.
Angela: Great. Holly here will be asking the questions, just watch his hand (indicating the producer). Okay?
(Veronica nods and stands next to Holly. The producer counts down on his fingers from three to zero.)
Holly: Evening, Peter. I'm with Veronica Donovan, the lawyer for Lincoln Burrows. You're petitioning for a stay, is that right?
Veronica: That's right.
Holly: On what grounds?
Veronica: On the grounds that my client's been framed.
CUT TO: Angela in the van.
Angela (in Holly's earpiece): Get specifics out of her.
Holly: Miss Donovan, do you have any proof to that effect?
Veronica: There's a whole string of proof. m*rder - Leticia Barris, a potential exculpatory witness. Lisa Rix, the mother of Lincoln's child. Bishop McMorrow, the man who could have petitioned the Governor for clemency.
Holly: You're saying someone's k*lling these people off?
Veronica: I'm saying somebody's trying to hide what really happened, what the truth about Terrence Steadman really was.
Holly: Is this all just speculation, or is there hard evidence that can substantiate your claims?
Veronica: I have a source.
CUT TO: Angela: Get a name.
Holly: Could you elaborate on that?
Veronica: Not at this time. But somebody on the inside claims they can exonerate Lincoln. That Terrence Steadman wasn't even in the car that night.
[25. INT. Vice President Reynolds' office. Day.]
(Caroline has been watching the report on the television. She is composed but irritated.)
Caroline (darkly): Someone's been talking.
(Camera pans over to Kellerman, who is standing in front of her desk.)
[Camera pans over the prison.]
[26. INT. Prison. Day.]
(An electrician is examining the electric chair as Bellick and the Pope look on.)
Electrician: Is there a reason you're on direct current?
Bellick: Sorry?
Electrician: You know, AC/DC. Alternating current, direct current. DC's kinda yesterday's news for this sort of thing. You can k*ll a man with half the energy if you go AC.
(Bellick and the Pope don't know how to respond to that.)
Electrician: Okay. Let's see what we've got.
[27. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln examines the pill under a feeble stream of light coming through a vent in the dark cell.)
[28. INT. Electric chair room. Day.]
Electrician: You ready to run one?
(A CO in the next room switches on the generator.)
[29. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(The lights in the prison flutter on and off, as electricity crackles. When they go back on, Lincoln closes his eyes, realizing the significance of that surge of energy.)
ACT 3.
[Camera pans over the prison. The inmates are out in the yard.]
[30. INT. Prison - ADSEG block. Day.]
(Two COs escort Veronica towards Lincoln's cell. One of them opens the door. Veronica looks down at Lincoln, sitting on the floor in the dark, and is horrified.)
Veronica: I think you'd better turn these lights on, officer.
C.O.: I can't do it, lady. Your client's being disciplined.
Veronica: You're violating my client's Eighth Amendment rights. Either you turn those lights on in the next five seconds, or you're gonna be the first defendant named in a lawsuit.
(The CO nods to the other, and the lights go on. Veronica enters the cell. The door closes behind her as Veronica hugs Lincoln tightly.)
Lincoln: You okay?
(Veronica nods.)
Lincoln: LJ?
Veronica: He's good. He's scared but he's good. I found someone who's gonna talk.
Lincoln: Who?
Veronica: I don't know, but he knows things. I'm gonna go and meet him in a few hours.
Lincoln: A few hours is cutting it close, V.
Veronica: We don't have any other choice. You have to have faith, okay? Nick's already primed the court to hear our case. Whatever Michael's doing, he doesn't need to do it now. We're gonna b*at this thing the right way.
Lincoln: What if you're wrong?
Veronica: I'm not.
Lincoln: What if you are?
Veronica: You gotta trust me, okay?
(They stare at each other, then Veronica leans in to kiss him.)
Veronica: Don't give up on me. Promise?
[31. INT. Hale's house. Day.]
(Allison brings suitcases out into the hall. She picks up her keys from the side, then opens the front door. Kellerman is standing there. Allison is very startled, and laughs nervously.)
Kellerman (smiling): Didn't mean to scare you.
Allison: Oh, it's all right. Paul, how are you?
Kellerman: I'm good. I'm good. You? (He glances down at her very pregnant belly.)
Allison: Oh (she laughs.)
(Kellerman looks around the room inside, noticing that nearly all the belongings are packed.)
Kellerman: Where you going?
Allison: Vacation. Bahamas.
Kellerman: Packing kinda heavily for the Bahamas.
Allison: You know women.
Kellerman: Yeah. So, um...(seriously now) Where's Danny?
Allison: Uh, running errands, I think.
Kellerman: Errands, huh?
(Allison nods.)
Kellerman: Where, uh...where might those errands be?
[Camera sh*t of the prison as the clouds in the sky move fast above it, quickly fading to night.]
[32. INT. Lincoln's cell. Night.]
(Lincoln sits by the vent in the feeble light.)
Lincoln: Louis, you there?
Louis (o/s): Yeah. Yeah, I'm here, Linc.
Louis: A little after 8.
(Lincoln looks at the pill in his hand, sighs and shifts himself to sitting position. He gently bangs his head against the wall.)
[33. INT. Break room. Night.]
(Michael is also gently banging his head against the wall. He is sitting next to Sucre, on the floor.)
Sucre: It's 8:15.
CUT TO: Lincoln, in his cell. He looks at the pill again, then quickly eats it.
CUT TO: Michael, in the break room, still banging his head.
Sucre: You okay?
Michael: No.
[34. INT. Lincoln's cell. Night.]
(Lincoln begins to convulse, fighting the urge to vomit. He grimaces and writhes in pain on the floor. Then he turns to the side and throws up.)
CUT TO: Michael, silent, in the break room.
CUT TO: Lincoln, groaning on the floor in pain.
Lincoln (through his teeth): Oh, Michael, what have you done to me?
[35. INT. Prison corridor. Night.]
(Three COs and a doctor rush Lincoln on a gurney down a hall. His face is contorted with pain.)
[36. INT. Break room. Night.]
(Michael looks at his watch. It turns from 8:59 to 9:00pm.)
C-Note: Nine 'o clock, Fish. Showtime. Let's go, man.
[37. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
Orderly: Tancredi leave yet?
Stolte: I don't think so.
Orderly: You'd better call her.
(Lincoln, still crippled with pain on the gurney, turns to his side and notices the grate in the corner.)
[38. INT. Break room. Night.]
(The PI crew pull back the carpet to reveal the hole. Westmoreland closes the door and jams it by putting a crowbar through the handle. The team stand around the hole, smiling, all looking at Michael.)
Michael: See you on the other side.
(Michael gets into the hole: The camera watches from the bottom of the hole, with the other men staring down at him.)
ACT 4.
[Camera pans over the prison - night.]
[39. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
Sara: Well, everything tells me it's food poisoning. Which means you should be feeling better in a couple of hours. But uh...I wish that I could say that this would be enough to forestall the execution. It's not gonna be.
Lincoln: It's all right.
Sara: I can stay with you if you want.
Lincoln: No. It's fine. Thank you.
Sara: Okay.
(She smiles gently and leaves the room. Lincoln looks over at the grate.)
[40. EXT. Alley. Night.]
(Veronica waits in a dark alley. Hale walks slowly up to her.)
Hale: We got a lot to talk about and not a lot of time to do it. Your boyfriend, he can still be saved. Burrows was chosen a long time ago. Hand-picked to be an assassin. But he never pulled the trigger.
Veronica: Who did? Come on. Who k*lled Terrence Steadman?
Hale: Nobody.
Veronica: What?
Hale: Terrence Steadman's still alive.
(Hale pulls out an envelope from his jacket.)
Hale: There's three sheets of paper inside. You'll find all the names you need are on them. Everyone that started this whole thing, from top to bottom. (He looks up, alert.) You need to take two steps that way. Right now.
(Veronica looks confused.)
Hale: Behind the car, get behind the car. You want to stay alive, do as I say. Now.
(Hale puts the envelope away. Veronica ducks behind the car, scared. A car comes down the alley, slowly.)
[41. INT. Prison pipes system. Night.]
(The team crawl through the pipe until they get to the pipe that slides into the vertical drain. Michael slides through first, then Sucre.)
T-Bag: Your boys better be there, rughead.
C-Note: They'll be there, Cletus. Don't you worry.
[42. EXT. Prison. Night.]
(Darius and his friend Spider get out of the SUV. They look up at the watch tower.)
Spider: This is crazy.
(Darius pops the hood of the SUV to make it look like they have broken down.)
[43. EXT. Alley. Night.]
(Kellerman gets out of his car. Hale watches him.)
Kellerman: So, uh...what are you doing here, Danny? Where's the lawyer?
Hale: I don't know what you're talking about.
Kellerman: Allison told me. I got it out of her.
Hale: You didn't touch her?
Kellerman: Why would I do that? Why would I do that? We're partners, right? We're on the same side. No. Allison's fine. She's just...well, I guess you're gonna have to ask yourself who you want to give up. Your wife, or this lawyer? Just tell me where she is. Is she here? Has she been? What exactly have you told -
Hale: Don't do this.
(Kellerman shrugs, resignedly.)
Kellerman: Give me your g*n.
Hale: I can't do that.
Kellerman: Yes, you can. I'm your superior. I give you a command. You obey it.
(Kellerman pulls out his own g*n and trains it on Hale.)
Kellerman: Give me your g*n.
(Hale raises his hands slightly, Kellerman leans forward and reaches into Hale's pocket, taking out the g*n. As he does, the envelope falls to the floor.)
Hale: Paul, it's nothing. It's not...
Kellerman: Don't. Back up!
(He picks up the envelope, keeping the g*n on Hale, and looks at the pages.)
Kellerman: It's...It's amazing. You got it all on only...three pages. You know what would happen if this fell into the wrong hands?
(Kellerman looks at the pages again, and his smile fades.)
Kellerman (upset): You named me? Right there along with the rest of them?
Hale: I got scared! That's all it was...
Kellerman (furious): You name me?! Danny?!
Hale: Please, man! Allison's due in one month!
(Silence. Kellerman doesn't lower his g*n. Hale has tears in his eyes.)
Hale: Paul, you and me, we-we've been friends since the academy.
(Kellerman shakes his head, consumed by this ultimate betrayal.)
Kellerman: You named me.
(He fires a single sh*t. Hale drops down to the floor, feet from Veronica who shudders in silence.)
[44. INT. Maintenance room. Night.]
(Michael comes up from the floor in the maintenance room, directly under the infirmary. He unties the end of the rope from the grate and ties it to a metal rack.)
Michael: Okay. Let's go!
[45. EXT. Prison. Night.]
(Steam rises from the open hood of the SUV's engine. Spider is nervous, and pulls out a g*n from his belt.)
Darius: Hey, hey, hey. Put that away, man. What you doing? Put that away, man!
(Two COs come round the corner, raising their flashlights.)
CO#1: Hey, Yoyos. This is a state penitentiary. You can't park here.
(Camera shows Spider's g*n, hidden behind his back.)
Darius: Oh, you think we meant to park here?
(CO#1 moves to look at the engine. CO#2 looks at Spider.)
CO#2: Put your hands where I can see 'em.
(Darius looks at Spider, panicked, and raises his hands.)
CO#2: I said put your hands where I can see' em!
(Spider slowly raises his hands as well. The g*n is gone.)
(Camera pans down to show its stashed in the waistband of his jeans.)
(The first CO reconnects the radiator hose that Darius sabotaged.)
CO#1: All fixed. What do you say you two h*t the road?
(Neither Darius nor Spider moves.)
CO#1: You two h*t the road right now, or we're gonna have a problem.
(Darius and Spider are forced to get back in the SUV and drive off.)
[46. INT. Maintenance room. Night.]
(Michael helps the other inmates up one by one.)
Michael (to Westmoreland): You all right?
Westmoreland: I'm good. Haven't been this good in years.
(Michael turns to look up at the grate and freezes in panic.)
[Camera pans up to show the grate is no longer accessible: a new pipe has been attached.]
(Michael stares in stunned disbelief. He climbs up a metal rack to inspect it.)
Michael: They replaced it!
[47. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Lincoln pulls out his IV line, and goes over to the grate.)
Lincoln: Michael?
CUT TO: Michael in the maintenance room.
Michael (to the others): He's there.
(Michael grips hold of the pipe and tries to pull it off the wall.)
Michael: Son of a bitch! He's there...he's there...
(Westmoreland grabs a piece of industrial pipe and hands it to him.)
Westmoreland: Here, Michael. Use this!
(T-Bag keeps watch at the door. Sucre, C-Note and Westmoreland move to help Michael.)
Michael: Come on. You ready?
CUT TO: Lincoln in the infirmary. He grabs a mop and pokes it down the grate.
CUT TO: Maintenance room.
T-Bag: Shhh!
(The inmates fall silent. They hear keys jingling in the corridor outside.)
CUT TO: A pair of feet walking down the corridor.
CUT TO: Maintenance room. The inmates stay stock still. Then T-Bag listens and gives them the nod.
Michael: Ready?
(He and Sucre pull on the pipe to try and get the large pipe off.)
CUT TO: Lincoln, hammering downwards with the handle of the mop.
(The inmates strain but the pipe won't budge. The industrial pipe comes away and drops on the floor with a clang.)
CUT TO: The corridor. The CO stops, having heard the pipe falling.
[48. INT. Maintenance room. Night.]
(Michael stares up at the pipe.)
Sucre: What? Talk to me.
Michael: It can't be done.
Sucre: What?
Michael: It's too thick. I'm so sorry. We're not getting out of here.
(T-Bag reaches down and pulls a shank out of his boot.)
T-Bag: Unfortunately, Pretty, that ain't an option.
(Michael rests his head on his hand, devastated.)
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x13 - End of the Tunnel"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
(Camera sh*t of Michael in the prison yard.)
Michael (v/o): My name is Michael Scofield. My brother is facing the electric chair.
(Camera sh*t of Lincoln being manhandled into the electric chair; camera sh*t of Lincoln walking towards a car in a parking lot, g*n drawn.)
Michael (v/o): Framed for a crime he didn't commit.
CUT TO: Kellerman and Hale in front of Bishop McMorrow.
Bishop: What is it about this case that the Secret Service are so interested in?
Kellerman: The man k*lled the Vice President's brother.
CUT TO: Michael, sitting at his desk in his apartment, the wall by the side of him covered with photos and notes of his plan to escape.
Michael (v/o): After his appeals were exhausted, I knew there was only one way to get him out.
(Camera sh*t of the bank - exterior - day.)
(CUT TO: Michael in the bank, f*ring three sh*ts into the air.)
(CUT TO: Several police cars and a police command center outside the bank.)
Police Officer: This is the police! Put down your w*apon!
CUT TO: Michael lowering his hands.
CUT TO: Michael in the cell, with the door being closed.
CUT TO: Lincoln seeing Michael at Fox River for the first time.
Lincoln: Michael.
Michael: I'm getting you out of here.
Lincoln: It's impossible.
Michael: Not if you designed the place it isn't.
CUT TO: Lincoln and Michael in the locker room at Fox River.
Lincoln: You've seen the blue prints.
Michael: Better than that. I've got 'em on me.
(Camera sh*t of the prison yard.)
Michael (v/o): I've been in Fox River nearly a month now. In that time I've assembled a group that has all the resources we need...
(Camera sh*ts of Sucre, C-Note, T-Bag, the $100 dollar bill from Westmoreland.)
Michael (v/o): ...to not only break out, but stay out.
CUT TO: Michael getting a sh*t in the infirmary.
Michael: I'm Michael, by the way.
Sara: Doctor Tancredi.
Michael: Tancredi like the governor?
(Camera sh*t of the team digging the hole through to the pipe system.)
(Camera sh*t of Veronica and Nick standing on Constitution Ave NW.)
Michael (v/o): While we dig on the inside, our lawyer searches for the truth on the outside.
(The telephone rings at the call box next to Veronica and Nick.)
Hale (v/o): I have information that will lead to the exoneration of Lincoln Burrows.
CUT TO: Veronica speaking to Fox News, Chicago on television.
Veronica: Somebody on the inside claims they can exonerate Lincoln.
Vice President Caroline Reynolds: Someone's been talking. Anyone that's a thr*at is expendable.
(An aide opens her office door.)
Aide: They're ready for you, Madam Vice President.
(Camera sh*t of Hale sh**ting at Letitica Barris.)
(Camera sh*t of Veronica hitting Agent Quinn around the head with a chair.)
(Camera sh*t of Bishop McMorrow sitting up in bed to get a b*llet in the head.)
(Camera sh*t of Veronica's apartment exploding.)
(Camera sh*t of Michael and the escape team climbing into the hole.)
Michael (v/o): 24 hours from now, my brother is scheduled to die. But the way I see it, 24 hours from now, we'll be out of the country.
(Camera sh*t of Lincoln in the infirmary, he goes over to the grate.)
Lincoln: Michael.
CUT TO: Michael underneath the infirmary in the break room, where a new pipe has been fitted underneath the grate to the infirmary room.
Michael: He's there!
(The team try and wedge the pipe off the wall with some industrial piping but it doesn't budge. The piping breaks in half and falls to the floor.)
Michael: It can't be done. We're not getting out of here.
(T-Bag takes a shank out of his boot.)
T-Bag: Unfortunately, Pretty, that ain't an option. You are gonna get us out of here.
[Camera pans over Fox River - night.]
[1. INT. Maintenance room. Night.]
Michael: Unless you're gonna use your shank to take out the pipe, put it away.
T-Bag: I'm gonna put it in your neck, you don't get us outta here.
Sucre: Bring it down a peg, T-Bag.
T-Bag: Shut your mouth. Remember, Pretty, I am serving life plus one. So if I get busted for attempted escape I'm gonna throw in a homicide, no problem. That's like a parking ticket to me!
(They hear Lincoln still banging on the grate with the mop handle and look up.)
[2. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Sara unlocks the door and comes into the infirmary. She sees Lincoln sitting by the grate.)
Sara: You okay?
Lincoln: Felt sick again.
Sara: Yeah, you took your IVs out.
Lincoln: Yeah, I didn't want to throw up on the floor so I just came to the drain. Just let me walk this off, I'll be fine.
Sara: Lincoln, there is no reason for you to be here if your IV isn't in.
(A CO looks in at the door.)
C.O.: Everything all right in here?
Sara: It's fine.
C.O.: Why isn't he cuffed to the table?
Sara: What's he gonna do? Steal a cotton ball?
(The CO takes a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket.)
C.O.: Can't have him walking around, Doc. You know that.
(Lincoln looks over at the grate.)
[3. INT. Corridor. Night.]
A CO walks down the corridor and stops at the Maintenance door, listening. He takes out his keys to unlock the door.
[4. INT. Maintenance room. Night.]
C-Note: Shh!
Sucre: What was that?
[5. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
C.O.: Put your wrist out.
(He tries to take Lincoln's wrist but Lincoln pulls it away.)
C.O.: You gonna turn this into something?
(Lincoln looks at him.)
C.O.: I'm not gonna say it again. Put your wrist out.
(Lincoln very reluctantly does, and the CO slams the cuffs on.)
[6. INT. Maintenance room. Night.]
(The CO, Andrews, opens the door and looks inside. Everything is still and quiet, and he can see nobody. He looks around.)
(Camera shows T-Bag, Westmoreland and Michael hiding behind some racking.)
(Andrews walks further into the room. Camera pans over to show C-Note hiding behind the corner. Camera pans again to show Sucre sitting on the floor, hiding behind another rack.)
(Andrews goes to leave, but as he does, he sees the piece of industrial pipe on the floor. He looks at it.)
(Camera pans over all the inmates' hiding places: they all look very anxious.)
(Andrews picks up the piping, and looks up the pipe on the ceiling. The inmates look on in concern. T-Bag readies his shank.)
Andrews: Hey Keith, come check this out!
(There is no answer.)
Andrews: Keith?
(Andrews leaves the room. The team jump up from their hiding places. Sucre stands watch the door quietly.)
Westmoreland: We gotta go. Now! Gimme the rope. Gimme the rope, now!
(Sucre takes it out his pocket and throws it at him.)
Westmoreland (to T-Bag): Tie that off.
(T-Bag ties the rope round the shelving unit. Sucre looks out into the hallway: he can see the two COs talking.)
(Westmoreland climbs down the rope.)
Westmoreland (o/s): Okay, I'm down.
(C-Note slides down the rope, followed by T-Bag. Michael is standing under the pipe on the ceiling, the object keeping him from his brother, looking very upset. Sucre watches as the guards turn towards the Maintenance room.)
Sucre: We gotta go, Michael.
(Michael doesn't move.)
Sucre: It's done. Let's go!
(Sucre slides down the rope. Very reluctantly, Michael begins untying it from the shelving unit. He looks up at the pipe again.)
[7. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Lincoln struggles against his handcuffs, looking over the grate, but he's going nowhere.)
[8. INT. Maintenance room. Night.]
Stolte: Did it break off, or did someone break it?
Andrews: I don't know. Here's the other half.
(Camera pans down to the grate by their feet, where Michael is hanging on to the rope.)
OPENING CREDITS.
[Camera pans over Fox River - night.]
[9. INT. Administration office. Night.]
Bellick: Hey, hey.
C.O.: What's up, Brad?
Bellick: Heading over to Sharkey's. It's Two-for-Tuesday. Want to hoist a few?
C.O.: Man, I'd love to, but my wife is cooking dinner, and I told her I'd be home.
Bellick: Wuss. Anybody else?
(No-one answers.)
Bellick: Suit yourselves.
(He looks out of the winter, over to the break room.)
Bellick: Hey, none of the sheetrock in front of the break room's been touched.
C.O#2: The PI's lettin' it dry out.
Bellick: Still?
[10. INT. Prison pipes system. Night.]
(Sucre hurries through the pipe, followed by C-Note, T-Bag, Michael and Westmoreland.)
CUT TO: Bellick walking across the prison yard.
CUT TO: Sucre, coming up through the hole in the break room. He looks over at the door, then helps C-Note up. The two of them help T-Bag up, then Michael. The four of them look down the hole - Westmoreland isn't there.
Sucre (urgently): Westmoreland!
Westmoreland (o/s): I'm caught on something!
Sucre: Come on, come on, come on, come on!
CUT TO: Bellick walks into the storage area and over to the break room. He puts his hand on the door handle and pulls, but it doesn't open because of the crowbar Westmoreland previously wedged through it.
CUT TO: The inmates looking over at the door. Finally, Westmoreland appears at the bottom of the hole.
Michael: Stay there. Stay down there!
(The team put the board over the hole and cover it over.)
CUT TO: Bellick, pulling at the door. The crowbar comes loose and falls to the floor. He storms in, annoyed. The inmates are standing around.
Bellick: Why was this door locked?
T-Bag (defensively): It wasn't locked, boss. The fan kept pushing it open so we decided to wedge it closed.
(Michael moves across and picks up a crowbar from the table.)
(Silence. Bellick stares at them. They are all covered in sweat and look exhausted.)
Bellick: You've been in here all night not doing a damn thing.
Sucre: Room's still wet, boss. Nothing we could do. It's not like we were having a picnic.
(C-Note laughs.)
Bellick: Bunch of shiftless, no-good convicts.
(Michael moves forward through them all, and throws the crowbar down on the table. He looked furious.)
Bellick: You got something to say, Scofield?
(Michael looks away.)
Bellick: Wrap it up. And, all four of you, get your asses back to the block.
(He leaves the room, shutting the door behind him and walks over to the outer door and into the yard. He shouts to a passing CO.)
Bellick: Hey! Get these nitwits back to the cell block.
(The CO nods and is about to come into the room when Bellick suddenly holds up a hand to stop him. He moves slowly back towards the break room and pulls the door open.)
(The inmates all turn around to face him.)
Bellick: You seem to be one light.
(Camera on someone tying his shoelaces: pan up to reveal its Westmoreland.)
Westmoreland: Right here, boss.
(Bellick stares at them all, still suspicious, but then walks out. Now alone and out of danger, the team voice their feelings.)
C-Note: Oh, no, no. Hey. (he punches the wall.) I should be halfway to seeing my family right now!
(The CO, Weston, enters.)
Weston: Let's go!
(The team don't move, all looking dejected.)
Weston: Now!
(They all slowly file out, Michael follows last.)
[11. INT. Prison cell block. Night.]
(The door is unlocked and the inmates file inside, Michael last. He looks up at the cells.)
C.O.: Keep it movin'! Move it!
[12. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
Sucre: Do you think he knows? Lincoln?
(Michael is silent.)
CUT TO: Lincoln yanking on the metal cuffs. He glances at the grate.
[Camera on the watch tower outside in the yard as night turns into day.]
[13. EXT. Prison. Day.]
(Warden Pope is facing questions from reporters about the upcoming execution.)
Reporter: I'm here with Henry Pope, who is the warden of Fox River Penitentiary, where Lincoln Burrows is scheduled to die by electrocution at 12:01am tomorrow. Warden Pope, can you tell me what's gonna happen in the next few hours?
Pope: There are strict Department of Corrections guidelines that govern every aspect of an execution. Measures taken to make sure that the process goes as smoothly as possible.
Reporter: Such as?
Pope: The correctional officers will do a walk-through, we'll review the list of witnesses, the chair will be checked and rechecked to make sure there's no problem.
Reporter: And Mr. Burrows himself, have you spoken with him? What are his thoughts in these final hours?
Pope: I'd say that's between him and his God.
Reporter: And maybe the Governor. I understand Burrows' attorneys are going to request a stay.
Pope: I wish them the best of luck.
Reporter: Does that mean you believe he's innocent?
Pope: It means I believe in the process, but I don't relish the prospect of taking another man's life. Whether it's just or not, there's no joy that lies before us today.
[14. INT. Cabin. Day.]
(LJ is watching the report ending on television with tears in his eyes.)
Reporter (on screen): Ok, thank you very much, Warden. And we will be here with you throughout the night, watching and waiting, to see if Lincoln Burrows does in fact become only the 13th person to be ex*cuted in the state of Illinois since 1976.
[15. INT. Prison cell block. Day.]
(A buzzer sounds and all the cell doors open. Michael walks to the door of the cell.)
Sucre: Just so you got one less thing to worry about, I want you to know...I ain't mad at you.
Michael: Thank you.
Sucre: How long until...?
Michael: 16 hours.
Sucre: Are his lawyers making any progress? Is there still a chance? What...?
Michael: No. There's only one person who can really stop this execution.
[16. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Sara looks up as Michael is escorted down the infirmary corridor by a CO. He looks at Sara, then across at Lincoln, who is in another room. The CO takes him into a further room and unlocks his handcuffs. The CO goes to leave as Sara comes in.)
Sara: Hey, Pat.
Michael: I need to see my brother. Just to talk. For five minutes.
Sara: Yeah. Yeah, I'll try.
(Sara walks out of the room and over to the CO guarding Lincoln's room. They have an inaudible conversation. Michael looks through the window at Lincoln. The CO shakes his head, and shrugs as Sara looks defeated. Sara walks back to Michael's room.)
Sara: Um. I'm sorry, I'm told that you have to wait until final visitation.
Michael: Would you talk to your father for me? Please?
Sara: Believe me, my father knows where I stand on the death penalty. And I'm just as clear on his stand.
Michael: Sara...Doctor Tancredi, I'm sorry. This isn't about the morality of the death penalty. This is... (he glances at Lincoln)... this is about k*lling an innocent man. My brother. And surely your father can't be in favour of that. Just talk to Lincoln's attorneys, just for an hour, and I swear to God you'll be convinced of his innocence.
Sara: Michael, I would pick up the phone right now if I thought there was any chance I could make a difference. But you have to understand: I'm the last person in the world that my father listens to. He hates what I do. He hates what I believe in. And if I'm the one asking for clemency for your brother, your brother won't get it.
(Michael nods slightly. There's a jangling sound and he looks towards the window: Lincoln is being led away by two COs. Michael walks to the window and watches.)
Sara: I'm sorry.
ACT 2.
[Camera pans over Chicago.]
[17. EXT. Street. Day.]
(Nick and Veronica flank Lyle, a court clerk.)
Nick: Look, if Terrence Steadman is still alive, Lyle, then it can't be Terrence Steadman buried in the ground.
Lyle: Yeah, but, a secret informant claims that Steadman is still alive? I dunno, Nick. It all sounds pretty far-fetched.
Nick: You're his clerk. Just get us on the docket.
Lyle: Look you're asking him to commit political su1c1de, by granting a stay of execution to Illinois' most notorious Death Row inmate.
Veronica: Officially, all we're asking if for an exhumation order. If he grants it, he can order a stay until the tests come back.
Lyle (sarcastic): An exhumation order? Oh, well, that's better. Digging up the vice president's brother! No way.
Nick: Lyle, Lyle, look, we took Intro to Civ Pro together, remember? We studied for the Bar day and night in that crappy little apartment of yours talking about how we were gonna make a difference.
Lyle: Nick. You filed an 11th hour motion. Judge Kessler's docket is full this afternoon.
Nick: Come on, Lyle! Everyone knows you run that courtroom. You can't adjust things around a bit?
Veronica: The informant that was k*lled yesterday - I was there. I know firsthand these people will do whatever they can to frame Lincoln for Steadman's m*rder.
(Lyle thinks about it.)
Veronica: All we're asking is to be heard.
Lyle: I'll give you fifteen minutes this afternoon, that's it.
Nick: Thank you!
Veronica: Thank you.
Lyle (walking off): Yeah, you're welcome.
[Camera sh*t of the watch tower at Fox River.]
[18. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael and Sucre are sitting on the benches.)
Michael: He doesn't even know what happened.
Sucre: He knows you tried.
Michael: Do you think so?
Sucre: He's your brother. He knows you. So, yes.
(Camera pans over to show T-Bag walking over to them carrying a baseball.)
Michael: I promised I would get him out of here.
T-Bag: You promised a lot of people, Pretty.
Sucre: Enough, man, all right?
T-Bag: This don't concern you, boy. You don't get a man's hopes up like that, and then just...
Sucre (standing up): Back up, or I'll b*at your skinny ass into the ground. And it wouldn't take much to do it.
(They stare at each other for several seconds.)
Guard (o/s): All right, ladies, rec time is over. Back to the block.
T-Bag (to Michael): You owe me a ticket outta here, Pretty. And I will collect.
(He throws the baseball up and catches it, then walks away.)
[19. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(The inmates walk back to the block.)
Westmoreland: I'm really sorry about your brother.
Michael: Thanks.
Westmoreland: Look, I know you were counting on this so let me worry about my problems. I know you got enough on your mind right now. For what it's worth, over the years I've known a few men who've sat in that chair. And as the day gets near, all you can really do is pray it goes quick. Once, about ten years ago, there was a man who caught a few sparks. Not enough to do the job. Had to wait another three weeks while they reset the whole process.
(Michael looks thoughtful.)
Westmoreland: It may sound crazy, but he said it was the worst three weeks of his life. 'Cause it's not the lightning that kills you. It's the wait. So take solace in the fact that your brother's wait is over.
Michael: So if something happens to the chair, he's got three more weeks?
Westmoreland: There's a lot of protocol in k*lling a man. New death warrant, another medical clearance.
Michael: A lot can happen in three weeks.
(From behind them, Tweener pops up about of nowhere.)
Tweener: Hey, what's the grapes, yo?
Michael (to Westmoreland): Thanks.
(He walks away, Tweener turns to Westmoreland.)
Tweener: What y'all talkin' about?
Westmoreland: Nothing.
CUT TO: COs filing the inmates into the block.
CO: Keep it together. Go, keep it together.
[20. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Sucre reads a magazine on his bunk. Michael stands at the cell door, thinking. tapping on the bars. A CO walks past to check on them.)
Michael: I'm going in.
Sucre: It's daytime!
(Michael looks at him determinedly.)
Sucre: I'll hang a sheet.
(Michael pulls the toilet forward and grabs a concealed bag of tuna from under a notebook.)
[21. INT. Prison pipes system. Day.]
(Camera close up on the open bag of tuna, some tuna on the floor. A rat squeaks, and moves through the pipe to the tuna. Michael's hand sh**t out and grabs the rat by the tail. He walks off with it down the pipe.)
[22. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln anxiously rubs his cuffed hands together. Sara reaches out her hand and puts it over his.)
Sara: Do you have any questions about...what's gonna happen tonight?
Lincoln: When I get to eat. Where I'm supposed to walk. How it's gonna feel when they tighten the belts. Any of that gonna help come midnight?
Sara: Some feel it's best to be prepared.
Lincoln: How's Michael?
Sara: He's anxious to see you. Unfortunately, we've been told that that's not possible until final visitation.
Lincoln: You've been through this before?
Sara: No. Uh, just so you know, a doctor needs to be present. So, for what it's worth, I'll be there tonight.
Lincoln: Can I ask a favour?
Sara: Yeah. What?
Lincoln: When I'm gone, can you...you look out for my brother?
[23. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Sucre holds a mirror through the bars and sees a CO coming. He quickly hides the mirror. The CO looks at him as he passes. He hears a tapping on the toilet and he hurries over to let Michael climb through.)
Sucre: What were you doing back there?
(Michael stays silent, and takes the sheet down.)
[24. INT. Bellick's office. Day.]
(Tweener sits across from Bellick, and dips fries in a milkshake.)
Bellick: So you like doing that too.
Tweener: Dippin' the fry in the shake? Hells yeah.
Bellick: Mmm. Good times, good times. So, what's going on out there?
Tweener: Nothin', you know, just stayin' outta trouble.
Bellick: I meant in terms of any office gossip you might have for me.
Tweener: Yo, check it. This one fool has been tryin' to cop a joint. So I'll keep ear hustlin' for that.
(Bellick grabs the burger off him.)
Bellick: We had an agreement. You were supposed to bird-dog Scofield and get back to me.
Tweener: Boss, I've been tryin', man. I've been workin' the corners. Trust me. I ain't got nothin'!
Bellick: I seen you talking to him in the yard. Him and the geezer.
Tweener: Yeah, I talked to Scofield but he ain't told me nothin'.
Bellick: Then it's 100 bucks for the burger and fries.
Tweener: Boss, you know I ain't got no money.
Bellick: You'd better start sellin' your ass. 100 bucks by the end of the shift, or there's gonna be a bidding w*r to see who gets you as their new cellie. b*at it!
(Tweener looks terrified. He slowly gets up and walks to the door. He looks back at Bellick.)
Tweener: In the yard today, I did hear Scofield say somethin'.
Bellick: And?
(Tweener hesitates.)
Tweener: He said if somethin' goes wrong with the chair, his brother gets three more weeks to live.
(Bellick stares at him. Tweener looks away, guiltily.)
Bellick: We're square. Get out of here.
(Tweener walks away as if hating what he has just done. Bellick sits thinking.)
ACT 3.
(Camera sh*t of the watch tower - day.)
[25. INT. Electrocution room. Day.]
(Bellick walks determinedly down the corridor and into the execution room. C.O. Geary is going over a checklist.)
Bellick: How's it going in here?
Geary: Ready for liftoff.
Bellick: Chair's working?
Geary: Yeah, why?
Bellick: Run a test.
Geary: I already did. The electrical contractor signed off on the diagnostic this morning. We're good to go.
Bellick: Run it again.
Geary: Why?
Bellick: Run it.
(Geary turns and knocks on the window. The CO inside flips up the switches. Nothing happens.)
Bellick: It ain't working.
Geary: Well, son of a bitch. I don't know what could have happened.
[26. INT. Cell block. Day.]
(A buzzer sounds, the cell doors open and the inmates file out.)
Sucre: So once they do all the paperwork, your brother gets three more weeks.
Michael: Right.
Sucre: So we got time.
Michael: Not a lot, but some.
Sucre: Are we still going through the infirmary?
Michael: If I corrode that pipe again, they'll notice something's up.
Sucre: You got another way?
Michael: Right now I'm just worried about getting through tonight.
[27. INT. Electricity supply room. Day.]
(Bellick and Geary move through a narrow hallway into the room with source of the electricity's power.)
Geary: Careful, there's 2,000 volts running through that thing.
(Bellick opens the fuse panel door.)
Geary: Oh, God...
(Inside the electricity box is a d*ad rat.)
[28. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln prays quietly.)
Lincoln: "...I came in here a man, give me the strength to walk out..."
(He repeats these words over and over as the camera blends to different angles of his desperate face.)
(The door slides open and a group of COs move in.)
Lincoln: I want to see my brother.
Stolte: When we move you to final visitation.
Lincoln: When's that?
Stolte: Right after we do this.
(He holds up a small satchel.)
(CO Andrews takes out some handcuffs.)
Stolte (to Andrews): Just... (to Lincoln) It's your last day, Linc. I'd prefer to keep you out of cuffs as much as possible, but...I need some assurances.
Lincoln: You've always been straight up with me, Stolte. You have my word.
(Stolte nods. Andrews moves away. Lincoln sits down on the bed, and Stolte opens the bag.)
[Camera sh*t of the court house - day.]
[29. INT. Courtroom. Day.]
(Veronica and Nick, and opposing counsel Peter Tucci, stand before Judge Kessler.)
Veronica: Your Honour, from the outset, Mr. Burrows' case has been tainted by conspiracy, characterized by destruction of evidence, distortion of the truth and witness intimidation.
Peter Tucci: Again Judge, I have to object. These are some serious accusations with absolutely no proof.
Veronica: No proof? What have I been arguing for the past twenty minutes?
Peter: You got me.
Nick: Judge Kessler, Mr. Tucci might not appreciate the weight of what we've just presented, but surely you must. As Ms. Donovan stated, a top video forensic analyst has disputed the authenticity of a surveillance tape that was the key piece of evidence in convicting Lincoln Burrows.
Peter: That's the tape that no longer exists, right?
Veronica: Because your client had it destroyed.
Peter: Unless my client is a rusted water pipe in the County Records Office, I'm afraid you're mistaken.
Nick: Judge, Ms. Donovan's apartment was blown up in an attempt to silence both her and me.
Peter: That was independently corroborated as a gas leak, Your Honour.
Veronica: Judge, a month ago, a Secret Service agent named Paul Kellerman visited my office. I saw Kellerman last night when he sh*t and k*lled another agent, Daniel Hale, right after Hale told me that Terrence Steadman was alive and well.
Peter: Your Honour, I'm present to the clerk an affidavit from the director of the Secret Service agency. It states that at no time has there ever been an agent of that organization by the name of Paul Kellerman or Daniel Hale. In addition, there were no other witnesses to this sh**ting. No b*ll*ts were found. No blood, no shell casings. The only witness to this alleged m*rder is Veronica Donovan - Lincoln Burrows' ex-girlfriend. Now, Your Honour, I feel for Ms. Donovan.
Veronica: Save it.
Peter: I do. But desperation causes desperate acts. And that's what we're seeing here today, Your Honour. My client, the Vice President of the United States...
Nick: Judge Kessler...
(The Judge bangs his gravel.)
Judge Kessler: Do either of you have any evidence that is admissible? Even just tangible? Your claims, if true, are terrifying. But anything or anyone that could verify your story is either gone, missing or d*ad.
(Veronica and Nick are silent.)
Judge Kessler: I know time is of the essence. I'll reserve judgment for now. I'll take your arguments into consideration and I'll have a decision within a few hours.
(He bangs the gravel and leaves.)
[30. INT. Electricity supply room. Day.]
(An electrician removes the rat from the fuse cupboard.)
Electrician: These little bastards are the bane of my existence, I swear to God.
Geary: You get this a lot?
Electrician: Yeah, they're attracted to the heat when they're cold. Plus they got collapsible vertebrae or some deal so they can squeeze through a crack yea big if they're determined.
Geary: And he shorted out the wire just by biting on it?
Electrician: Not by chewing on the wire alone, but if the tail touches metal it acts as a ground and boom - the fuse pops, along with the rat.
Geary: I'll be damned.
Bellick: So, can you change the fuse?
Electrician: Yeah, there's another one right here in the box.
Bellick: Can you do it now?
Electrician: Right after I notify the state, fill out the paperwork.
Bellick: Hold up a minute.
(The electrician and Geary turn around.)
Bellick: Both of you. You're gonna give more time to a guy who k*lled the vice president's brother. This guy's a t*rror1st.
Electrician: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Forget about losing our jobs, we could all face charges.
Bellick: Only the three of us know. Real easy to keep it that way.
(Geary nods slightly. The electrician stares at Bellick for a few seconds.)
Electrician: It's you guys' call.
[31. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael taps his watch. It reads 6:02pm.)
Sucre: How much longer?
Michael: Six hours.
Bellick (o/s): Open up 40.
(Michael and Sucre turn towards Bellick as the cell door opens. Bellick removes his hat.)
Bellick: Scofield. Your brother's gonna be transported to final visitation soon. You can meet him there.
(Michael is noticeably shocked. Bellick watches him carefully.)
Bellick: You look surprised. You knew it was scheduled today.
CUT TO: Geary pushes the switches up to test the chair again.
CUT TO: Michael.
Michael: No, I...
(The lights flicker through the prison as the chair is tested.)
Inmate#1 (o/s): Oooh, he's sparkin' up the grill!
Inmate#2 (o/s): Yeah, baby!
Bellick: You were saying?
(Michael walks out of the cell, head down. The cell door closes.)
CUT TO: Geary, testing the chair. The lights flicker.
[32. INT. Sara's office. Dusk.]
(The lights flicker, and she looks up.)
[33. INT. Lincoln's cell. Dusk.]
(The lights flicker. Stolte finishes shaving Lincoln's head with a razor.)
Stolte: They'll be transporting you to final visitation in a minute. Thanks for keeping your word, Linc.
(He takes the razor and bowl of water away with him. Lincoln closes his eyes.)
ACT 4.
[Camera sh*t of the watch tower - dusk.]
[34. INT. Final Visitation room. Night.]
(Michael paces the room. Then the door opens and Stolte escorts a shackled Lincoln inside. Patterson enters.)
Patterson: Linc. You're gonna have to change into these.
Lincoln: What's that?
Patterson: At the moment of death, the body becomes incontinent, so...
Lincoln: It's a diaper.
Patterson: Yeah. You need to wear it.
Lincoln: Make me.
(The COs leave the room. Lincoln walks towards Michael.)
Lincoln: Good look, huh? (He runs a hand over his shaven head.) It's, uh...for the electricity. Hair gets in the way or something.
(Michael moves forward to hug him.)
Michael: I did everything I could.
Lincoln: I know you did.
(They break apart and Lincoln paces.)
Lincoln: Last time I had my head shaved was when I was running with Derek. Remember Derek?
Michael: Uh, yeah.
Lincoln: Bet me 40 bucks I wouldn't shave it. I said, "Make it 100". Still owes me.
Michael: Have you heard from Veronica?
Lincoln: She's supposed to be coming.
Michael: Is there any news on the appeal?
Lincoln: Don't know.
Michael: 'Cause there could still be a ch...
Lincoln: Stop, Michael, please. This thing's gonna happen. I gotta get my head straight. Let's just share our memories, swap stories, talk about the damn weather. Anything but torturing myself with the idea of hope. I can't take it anymore.
Michael: All right.
[35. INT. Nick's apartment. Night.]
(LJ stomps through the apartment.)
Veronica: You can't go, LJ.
LJ: I don't care. I have to see him.
Nick: You can't go to the prison. You'll never make it through the gate. There'll be cops everywhere.
Veronica: Look, you gotta wait until we get all this cleared up, all right?
(The cell phone rings. Nick answers it.)
Nick: It's the Judge's clerk. Lyle, what do you got? Yeah. Thanks, man.
(He hangs up.)
Veronica: They ruled against us.
Nick: Yeah.
Veronica: I'm gonna go and see him.
Nick: I'm gonna stay here with LJ. Are you gonna be okay going alone?
Veronica: Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.
Nick: Tell Lincoln...you know, just...we tried.
(There's a knock at the door.)
Nick (to LJ): Go to the back room. Go.
(LJ rolls his eyes but obeys. Nick opens the door - it's Sara.)
Sara: You're the attorneys for Lincoln Burrows?
[Camera sh*t of the watch tower - night. A searchlight sweeps the grounds.)
[36. INT. Final Visitation room. Night.]
(Michael and Lincoln are playing cards. There is a plate of blueberry pancakes on the table. Michael hums a tune quietly, picks up a card and puts it down.)
Lincoln: You letting me win, Michael?
Michael: No.
Lincoln (disbelievingly): Mm-hm. Show me your cards.
Michael: I'm not gonna show you my cards.
Lincoln: Show me your cards.
Michael: I'm not gonna show you my cards.
Lincoln: Gimme your cards.
(He takes them and places them on the table.)
Michael: Gin.
Lincoln: Funny, that.
Michael: Three out of five.
(He takes the cards and shuffles. Lincoln picks off a piece of blueberry pancake.)
Michael: How often would you make those for LJ?
Lincoln: Whenever I had him on weekends. The only decent thing I ever did for him.
Michael: No. You were there for him.
Lincoln: Not enough. I don't know how they can stomach this stuff before...
(The door opens and a CO lets Veronica in. She walks up to Lincoln and hugs him. Michael looks up, hopefully.)
Veronica: We lost the appeal. (to Michael) Your friend Sara came by, though.
Michael: Did she hear you out?
Veronica: She did.
Michael: Is she gonna talk to her father?
Veronica: I sure as hell hope so.
Lincoln: It doesn't matter any more, guys. You've done more than enough for me. That's the most important thing.
(There is a moment's silence.)
Veronica: I couldn't bring LJ.
Lincoln: I know.
Veronica: I can get him on the phone, though.
Lincoln: What do I say?
(Veronica holds the cell phone out.)
[37. INT. Nick's apartment. Night.]
(Nick walks through to the living room with his cell phone.)
Nick: LJ, it's your Dad.
(LJ takes a moment to compose himself.)
LJ: Hey, Dad.
CUT TO: Lincoln: LJ. So this is it.
LJ: Yeah.
Lincoln: I, uh...I want to uh...stick with Veronica and Nick and clear your name. You'll be all right.
LJ: I wish I could be there, Dad.
Lincoln: Me too.
LJ: 'Cause there's something I want to tell you.
Lincoln: What's that?
LJ: I had a dream last night. You and me were working on a house, pounding nails. And in the dream, it felt like we were older. It was so clear. The whole dream. And when I woke, I knew that today wasn't going to be the end. That...that we'll see each other again, Dad. I know it. I love you, Dad.
(Lincoln closes his eyes and cradles the phone.)
[Camera pans over the city - night.]
[38. INT. Government building. Night.]
(In a stately government building, Sara walks through the halls with her father, Governor Tancredi.)
Sara: Those numbers support Burrows' claim about Terrence Steadman's pending indictment. Now, with the related m*rder, and then the confidential informant, I just wanted to make sure that you were fully aware of the circumstances.
Frank Tancredi: I'm fully acquainted with the Burrows case, Sara, but I never heard about any of this.
Sara: Well, I hadn't either until I spoke with Burrows' attorneys this afternoon. And I understand that most of this evidence is technically considered circumstantial, but I think you'll agree it's hard to ignore.
Frank: How did you get involved with all this?
Sara: These men are my patients. It's my job to advocate for them.
Frank: Come on, Sara. How many of these guys say that they are innocent? 80, 90%? It's not like you're asking me for a new bike here, kid. Being tough on crime, capital punishment, it's all part of a philosophy that I believe in. Part of a philosophy that I campaigned on, was elected for.
Sara: I have to go back to Fox River. I have to be there when they k*ll this man. The least you could do is review his case.
(She shoves the files at him and then begins to walk away.)
Sara: And dad, if it helps - pretend it didn't come from me.
[Camera sh*t of the night sky and the full moon.]
[39. INT. Final Visitation room. Night.]
Lincoln: I've never given a damn about what people thought of me. Never. Last couple of days, I've gotta admit, you know...Lee Harvey Oswald. John Wilkes Booth. Lincoln Burrows. I'm gonna go down in history with these freaks. Bitch of it all is, I...I didn't do it.
(Lincoln suddenly explodes with anger, shaking the table, knocking plates and cups flying.)
Lincoln: I DIDN'T DO IT!
(Lincoln walks over to the window seat and sits on it, head in hands. Veronica and Michael watch him in silence.)
Lincoln (quietly): I didn't do it.
(The door opens. Warden Pope enters with several COs.)
Pope: It's time.
(Lincoln stands up. Patterson holds out the clothes and diaper.)
[40. INT. Prison hallway. Night.]
(Lincoln, shackled and dressed in the clothes and sneakers, is walked down the corridor by several COs including Andrews, Patterson and Bellick. Pope, Michael and Veronica follow behind.)
(Sara opens a door on the hallway and comes out to join them.)
(Suddenly, Stolte comes running through the hallway.)
Stolte: Warden!
Pope: What is it?
(Stolte holds out a cell phone.)
Stolte: It's the governor.
(Sara, Michael and Veronica look hopeful. Warden Pope takes the phone.)
Pope: Yes, Governor?
(Michael glances at Lincoln.)
(Tense silence as Warden Pope listens. Everyone waits.)
Pope: Okay. I understand.
(He closes the cell phone and hands it back to Stolte.)
Pope (to Lincoln): The Governor has reviewed your case, fully. He's not granting clemency.
(Camera on Veronica, Sara and Michael as they all look horribly disappointed.)
Pope: Let's proceed.
[41. INT. Governor's office. Night.]
(Frank Tancredi stands at the window, looking out over the city. Then Vice President Caroline Reynolds comes up behind him.)
Caroline: You did your country and your party a great service. It won't go unnoticed.
(She shakes his hand.)
Frank: Thank you, Madam Vice President.
Caroline: Thank you, Governor.
[42. INT. Prison hallway. Night.]
(Lincoln and the COs walk over a thick yellow line painted on the floor. Bellick moves between Lincoln and the others.)
Bellick: You can't go past here. Once he's in the death chamber, you'll be escorted to the viewing room.
Veronica: Can I...?
Bellick: Yeah.
(He steps aside. Veronica goes up to Lincoln, crying. She hugs him tightly.)
Veronica (whispers): I've loved you since the first time I saw you.
(She moves away, back over the yellow line.)
Pope (to Bellick): Uncuff him.
(Bellick unlocks Michael's handcuffs. Michael, fighting back tears, walks over to Lincoln and hugs him gently. Bellick replaces his handcuffs.)
Pope: Let's go, son.
[Flashbacks:
(Lincoln seeing the d*ad man in the car in the parking lot.)
Lincoln (v/o): I didn't k*ll that man, Michael.
Michael (v/o): Swear to me!
Lincoln (v/o): I swear to you, Michael.
(The electric chair.)
(Michael in the yard.)
Michael (v/o): Preparation can only take you so far. After that, you gotta take a few leaps of faith.
(Lincoln lights a single match in his dark cell.)
(Lincoln takes the black pill.)
(COs rush him down the corridor on a gurney.)
(The sky rushing past the prison - exterior.)
(Veronica kissing him in his cell.)
Veronica (v/o): Don't give up on me.
(Lincoln alone in his ADSEG cell.)
(Young Michael and Young Lincoln standing together.)
Young Michael: What if something happens to you?
Young Lincoln: You just have a little faith.
(Michael putting his hand on Lincoln's shoulder in the chapel.)
Michael: Just have a little faith.
(Lincoln in his cell listening to Reverend Mailor reading from the Holy Bible.)
(Lincoln talking to Young LJ.)
Lincoln: How about every Sunday, we have our own special breakfast. Just you and me.
Young LJ: Yeah.
(LJ visiting Lincoln in prison.)
Lincoln (v/o): Gimme your hand.
(LJ puts his hand on the mesh, next to Lincoln's.)
Lincoln (v/o): You gotta have faith, LJ.
(Images of Michael, Veronica, LJ.)
(Lincoln looks at the coded note from LJ.)
LJ (v/o): I love you, Dad.
(Lincoln in his cell)
Lincoln: I came in here a man. Give me the strength to walk out of here a man.
End Flashbacks.]
[43. INT. Prison hallway. Night.]
(The COs walk Lincoln down the corridor to the death chamber. Michael and Veronica watch, both crying.)
(Lincoln looks at the electric chair from the doorway. He looks back at Michael. He looks back at the chair.)
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x14 - The Rat"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
[Camera sh*t of the clock on the wall: it reads 11:58pm.]
(Camera pans down to Bellick and Pope who are standing beneath it. They are watching a CO strap the belts around Lincoln's arms in the electric chair. Another straps on the headpiece. Lincoln's hands grip the chair tightly and he breathes deeply. Patterson puts the final bolt of the headpiece.)
(Camera sh*t of the clock: it now reads 11:59pm.)
(Warden Pope nods to Bellick, and Bellick opens the curtain to the viewing room. Michael and Veronica are seated: Veronica turns away momentarily, crying.)
Pope: Doctor, you can leave now.
(Sara leaves the room.)
(Lincoln scans the people in the visiting room. At the back, an older man removes his baseball cap, staring at him. Lincoln recognizes him.)
Lincoln: It's him. Michael...
(In the viewing room, Michael realizes his brother is trying to say something, but can't figure out what.)
Veronica (whispers): What's he saying?
Lincoln: Michael, turn around. It's him.
Veronica: What do you think he's saying?
Lincoln: Michael, turn around.
(The COs put a black hood over Lincoln's face and step away from the chair. Warden Pope checks his watch and looks up at the clock on the wall. The CO manning the electricity switch waits.)
(The telephone in the room rings. Without warning, the curtains close on the viewing room. Michael jumps to his feet.)
Michael: What's going on?
Veronica: I don't know.
Michael: What's happening? What the hell's going on in there?
(Camera sh*t of the Fox River Penitentiary wall. It's snowing heavily.)
[1. INT. Final Visitation Room. Night.]
(Michael and Veronica wait anxiously. The door opens and Warden Pope enters.)
Pope: I can't tell you how sorry I am that you've had to go through all of this.
(They suddenly hear the jingling of shackles and Lincoln is escorted into the room.)
Veronica: Lincoln.
(Veronica helps the CO bring Lincoln over to the table.)
Michael: What happened in there?
Pope: Judge Kessler called. The execution's been delayed.
Michael: What do you mean, delayed?
Pope: Apparently some new evidence has come to light.
Veronica: What evidence?
Michael: I don't understand. How long do we have? One day? Two days?
Pope: That's all the information I have at the moment. I'm sorry. I'll give you a minute.
Veronica (to Lincoln, stroking his cheek): You okay?
Michael: I need to know how much time we have.
Veronica: I'll go and see the judge and find out. (She kisses Lincoln's cheek) You're with Michael, you'll be okay.
(Veronica exits the room. Michael puts a hand on Lincoln's shoulder.)
Lincoln: Did you see him?
Michael: Who?
Lincoln: The guy in the viewing room.
Michael: No.
Lincoln: It was Dad.
(Dramatic music plays. Michael looks shocked.)
Lincoln (through gritted teeth): It was Dad.
[Opening Credits.]
[2. INT. Final Visitation Room. Night.]
Lincoln: It was him. I know it was.
Michael: That's not possible, Linc.
Lincoln: It is possible. I saw him.
Michael: I don't know how you could have. There were only half a dozen people in that room - me, Veronica and a bunch of reporters. He wasn't there.
Lincoln: You don't know that.
Michael: I do. I would have recognized him.
Lincoln: You don't remember what he looks like. I do.
Michael: This is a man who took off, what, 30 years ago? Why would he come back now, at the very last minute?
Lincoln: I don't know.
[3. INT. Vice President Caroline Reynolds' Office. Night.]
(Caroline sits at her desk facing Kellerman and Agent Brinker. Kellerman is standing but Brinker sits in a chair.)
Caroline: Why is he still alive?
Kellerman: It appears that some information was anonymously slipped to the judge.
Caroline: Anonymously? It was your fat little friend, Hale. If you had taken care of him sooner...
Kellerman: It wasn't Hale.
Samantha Brinker: How do you know that?
Kellerman: If Hale had given Veronica Donovan anything that could have gotten a stay of execution, I think she would have brought it up when she made her argument in court. It didn't come from him.
Brinker: Well, who else on your end knows?
Kellerman (defensive): Who else on your end knows? Why all the finger-pointing at us? Are you sure that the leak didn't come from your end, from The Company?
Caroline: Hey, we are all on the same team, remember.
Brinker: Absolutely.
Caroline: Just find the leak. And plug it.
Kellerman: Thank you ma'am.
(He walks to the door. Brinker follows.)
Caroline: One more thing.
(Brinker turns around.)
Caroline: The next time you're in my office, I expect you to stand when you're addressing me.
Brinker: Absolutely.
(She walks out, closing the door behind her.)
[Camera sh*t of a name plate on a door: Honorable Randall Kessler.]
[4. INT. Kessler's office. Night.]
(Kessler sits behind his desk in front of Veronica and the opposing counsel from the court room, Peter Tucci.)
Kessler: All I can tell is, I was working late in chambers, I left at 11, and there it was, right under my door.
(He hands a file to Veronica.)
Kessler: One is Terrance Steadman's autopsy report. In it, his appendix is noted as present and unremarkable. The other paper is an operative report from when Mr. Steadman was 12 years old. The procedure was an appendectomy.
Peter: That's impossible. Let me see this.
Veronica: I want the conviction overturned and Lincoln Burrows immediately released from custody.
Peter: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast. These records haven't even been certified.
Veronica: The hospital can tell you.
Kessler: The hospital does not keep records going back that far. I checked.
Peter: So as far as we know, these documents could be a hoax from some anti-death penalty advocate, or, dare I say it, defense counsel.
Veronica: Oh, please, you're preposterous.
Kessler: Let's just all take a deep breath here, okay? I don't know what these papers mean. And for that reason, I'd like to err on the side of caution. I'm going to delay the execution for two weeks. That should give us more than enough time to exhume the body.
Peter: Exhume the body? Your Honour, with all due respect, that is a drastic measure.
Kessler: It's also the only way we're going to know if that body in the ground is really Terrance Steadman.
[Camera sh*t of the watch tower at Fox River as the sky turns to light.]
[5. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael stands at the telephone box, the yard is covered in snow.)
Michael (on the telephone): So that's not Steadman that was buried.
Veronica (v/o): We don't know. If it isn't, Lincoln's free. If it is, we're right back where we started. Take care of yourself, Michael.
[6. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael uses the mirror to look out of the cell.)
Sucre: So that body. What if it's him?
Michael: I'm not gonna sit around hoping.
Sucre: What does that mean?
Michael: It means we get back to work.
Sucre: God, I was hoping you would say that.
[7. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
Lincoln: They're digging up the body.
Pope: To be honest, I've never been in a situation like this before. If nothing else, you can be glad that you've got people who'll go to extreme lengths to get you out of here.
Lincoln: No kidding.
Pope: No.
Lincoln: Warden, um...at the execution, there was a man in the viewing room. Just wondering if you or anyone in the prison had spoken to him.
Pope: Well, according to this... (he looks down at his file)...those present were your brother, his attorney, and three reporters. Two women and a man.
Lincoln: The man. Who was he?
Pope: Um, he was from the Headline Press. William Prall. You know him?
Lincoln (confused): No.
Pope: Guard.
(A CO shuts the ADSEG cell door.)
[8. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Sucre holds the mirror so Michael can see his tattoo.)
Michael: Hold it steady please.
Sucre: What exactly are you looking for in all that ink?
Michael: A new way out of here.
Sucre: You don't know all those plans by now?
Michael: No. Memorizing it would be like memorizing the phone book.
Sucre: Yeah, but why not just tat up Route 66?
Michael: Contingencies.
Sucre: Contingencies? You saying you found another way?
Michael: Maybe.
Sucre: What do you mean, maybe?
Michael: There's always been another way. But it's su1c1de.
(Camera pans over the prison yard. It's snowing.)
[9.EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(The PI crew are at work.)
Sucre: Man, I'm so cold my hands are stinging.
C-Note: You know what they say about weather in the Midwest. If you don't like it, wait an hour.
Michael: We're still going out through the infirmary and we're still gonna do it from the guards' room. It's just the in-between that's gonna have to change.
C-Note: Wait a minute, why are you changing the plan, man? We're already through to that room beneath the infirmary. That's all we gotta do is get through that pipe and we're home free.
Michael: There's a reason they replace it with a 12-inch pipe, Darwin - people can't get through it. The only way we're getting into that infirmary is from beneath. We're gonna have to find another way.
Westmoreland: The psych ward?
(Camera sh*t of the "Fox River Asylum" sign across the way.)
Michael: It's the only building that shares a sub-surface line with the infirmary.
T-Bag: Are you telling me to get to the infirmary we gotta go through the whack shack?
Michael: Unless you got a better idea.
Westmoreland: And there's a sub-surface line that runs from the guards' room to the psych ward?
Michael: Sort of.
C-Note: Whoa, whoa, what do you mean 'sort of'?
Michael: We can go into that hole in the guards' room. About 40 yards up Route 66, there's a grate that'll get us halfway there.
C-Note: And what about the rest of the way?
Michael: We gotta do it above ground.
C-Note: So it's just a bunch of cons taking a stroll in the middle of the night for all the guards to see?
Michael: Yep.
Sucre: You're right. It is su1c1de.
Westmoreland: This grate you're talking about - it's hidden, right, partner? The COs can't see it?
Michael: Not exactly.
C-Note: Well, where is it?
Michael: You're standing on it.
(C-Note looks down at the grate in the yard by his feet.)
C-Note: Oh hell no. When we come up out of that ground there, that tower there...(he points to one)...that tower there...(he gestures to another)...and that tower behind us is going to see us. We'll be like ducks in a sh**ting range, you feel me?
(Two COs walk over.)
C.O.: Hurry it up, con!
C-Note (to Michael): Your plan sucks, snowflake.
ACT 2.
[Camera sh*t of Fox River entrance - day.]
[Camera sh*t the of the cell block - inmates file inside.]
[10. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
Michael: I gotta go back into the walls tonight.
Sucre: Why?
Michael: I gotta get over to psych ward, familiarize myself with the pipes beneath, make sure we can get through.
Sucre: I don't know, Michael. C-Note's got a point. We come up in the middle of that yard, we're sitting ducks.
Michael: I know.
(Sucre looks across the cell block. Manche Sanchez is pushing a laundry trolley filled with inmates' clothing.)
Sucre: Hm. I might have an idea.
[11. INT. Press Conference. Day.]
(Vice President Caroline Reynolds is on the podium.)
Caroline: My family and I are more than dismayed by Judge Kessler's decision to allow the exhumation of my brother.
CUT TO: the badly rotted coffin being lifted out of the ground by a small crane. Nick and Veronica are standing nearby.
Caroline (v/o): This stunt, by Lincoln Burrows' defense counsel, is an affront and an insult to the memory of my brother, a good man who tried to make positive change in this country.
CUT TO: Caroline: This is being done in the name of trying to release a convicted k*ller from prison.
CUT TO: The coffin being put in the back of a funeral car.
Nick: Steadman asked for a green burial? No embalming, biodegradable coffin? It's very environmentally aware.
Veronica: Or smart if you don't want the body to be identified.
[Camera sh*t of the Fox River laundry room - exterior - day.]
[12. INT. Laundry room. Day.]
Manche: We haven't hung in months and now you want a favour? You know I love you, cuz. But that's a big ask. I gotta say no.
Sucre: You can't say no!
Manche: Whatever! If my mom - or worse, your mom - knows I did anything to get you in trouble, forget it.
Sucre: I'm in prison. How much trouble can I get into?
Manche: A lot! Damn.
Sucre: You owe me.
Manche: Like hell I do. It's your turn, not mine.
Sucre: Miss Mangene's broken window? The Terrado sisters? Your brother's 'lost' El Camino?
Manche: The church collection basket.
Sucre: The donkey!
(Manche looks up in shock.)
Manche: Yo. We took an oath, bro.
Sucre: Don't make me break it.
[13. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln is asleep on his bed, and dreaming.)
[Lincoln's dream: he walks with his father as a young child.]
Aldo Burrows: Come on, Linc. We wanna catch batting practice. Let's hurry, take my hand.
(They hurry across to Wrigley Field - Home of Chicago Cubs.)
(In the stadium, Young Lincoln and his father watch the players.)
Aldo: Great seats, huh? See number 11 over there? Keep your eye on him. Watch him closely.
(Young Lincoln watches number 11 catch the ball in his glove.)
[Camera sh*t of Lincoln, still asleep in his cell.]
[14. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Sucre is sitting on his bunk when Manche does his best to slide his large frame stealthily into the cell.)
Sucre: You got it?
(Manche nods, hands over his stomach.)
Sucre: Where is it?
(Manche glances at Michael.)
Sucre: Oh, he's cool.
(Manche slides out a suit wrapped in plastic from under his shirt.)
Manche: You get caught with this, they'll k*ll you! And I need this back by morning. They'll know something like that is missing. And cuz? Now you owe me.
(Michael slips the packet under his mattress and smiles at Sucre.)
[Camera sh*t of the prison yard.]
[15. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Michael paces around holding a crowbar. T-Bag opens the door to let C-Note and Westmoreland in. A postcard falls out of C-Note's pocket, reading 'Greetings from Iraq'.)
Westmoreland: Hey, you dropped something. Does that say Iraq?
C-Note (snatches it): Thanks.
[16. EXT. Storage area. Day.]
(Bellick comes round the corner. T-Bag, holding a clipboard and pen, walks over to the break room door and knocks on it with the clipboard.)
[17. INT. Break room. Day.]
Michael: Let's look busy.
(C-Note notices a small tear in the drywall and tears at it.)
C-Note: What the hell?
(That has just worsened the problem. The cement hidden in the walls from digging the hole begins to pour through the tear.)
C-Note: Oh, sh**t.
Sucre: Damn, bro. What did you do?
Westmoreland: It's the cement we dug up.
(The door opens. C-Note quickly stands by the door and jams his foot over the tear.)
(Bellick walks in, followed by T-Bag.)
Bellick: My God, you cons are slower than a spelling bee full of stutterers. You all think you can slow-walk this job, play grab-ass in here? Drag it out for months? Get to work!
(The inmates look at each other. Camera shows C-Note's foot against the wall, some cement on the floor beneath it.)
Westmoreland: You got it, boss.
(Bellick looks at C-Note.)
Bellick: How about it, eightball? Get to work.
(C-Note sh**t a panicked glance at Westmoreland.)
C-Note: Oh, boss, my leg...it's...fell asleep.
Bellick: You disobeying me, convict?
Westmoreland: Man said get to work!
(He pushes C-Note out of the way and puts his own leg in the way of the tear.)
C-Note: What the hell is your problem, old head!
Westmoreland: My problem is young con punks who don't know how things work around here.
(Bellick smiles.)
Westmoreland: Construction's a sweet gig. You wanna clean toilets? Be my guest. Otherwise, grab a hammer.
C-Note (meekly): All right.
Bellick: Still got some piss and vinegar in those old veins, huh, Charles? (he slaps him on the shoulder.) I like it.
(Bellick walks out, and T-Bag follows, closing the door after him.)
Westmoreland: Close one, huh?
(The inmates chuckle, but when Westmoreland moves his leg away from the wall the concrete comes pouring out.)
Westmoreland: Oh, man! What are we gonna do with this?
[18. EXT. Storage area. Day.]
(COs Stolte and Patterson walk down the block.)
Patterson: It was Ole Miss, right? Ole Miss?
Stolte: No, it was a Midwestern school.
Patterson: Iowa!
Stolte: Not Iowa. Hold on a sec.
(He turns to T-Bag, standing in the doorway with his clipboard. T-Bag quickly walks to the door and taps on it.)
Stolte: Hey, Bagwell.
[19. INT. Break room. Day.]
(The team are hurriedly shoving the concrete down the hole.)
Sucre: Come on, guys...
[20. INT. Storage room - outside break room door. Day.]
Stolte: Hey, do you know what school Art Schlichter played for?
T-Bag (nervously): Not really sure there, boss.
CUT TO: The team shoveling as fast as they can.
CUT TO: T-Bag: I really ain't much of a football guy, boss. Too much v*olence.
Stolte: Come on, you know the guy I'm talking about. Art Schlichter, the quarterback, got nailed for gambling.
T-Bag: No, doesn't really ring a bell.
Stolte: Bet if I asked you what his ass looked like you'd remember. Hey, maybe someone in the brain trust knows.
(He moves towards the break room door.)
Patterson: Come on, man, let's have some lunch.
(Stolte pulls the door open a crack. The PI team freeze.)
Stolte (looking back at Patterson): Hold on, I just wanna figure this out. It's driving me crazy. (He turns back to the door.)
T-Bag (blurts): Ohio State.
(Stolte looks back at him. Seconds pass.)
Stolte: That's right! He was a Buckeye!
(He closes the door. The inmates inside breath a sigh of relief.)
Stolte (to T-Bag): You're not completely worthless, after all!
[21. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Sara is giving Lincoln a check up.)
Sara: How's your stomach? Any more vomiting?
Lincoln: Just nauseous. Must be the nerves.
Sara: That's understandable, considering. I can give you something for it.
Lincoln: No, it's fine.
Sara: All right. You let me know if there's anything you need.
Lincoln: Can I ask you a question, Doc?
Sara: Yeah. What?
Lincoln: With all that went down yesterday - head pounding, heart racing - could that cause me to see something that wasn't there?
Sara: Uh, yeah. Yeah, anxiety att*cks are often accompanied by flashes of light, black spots...
Lincoln: No, no, no. I saw someone in the viewing room.
Sara: There were people there.
Lincoln: This person couldn't have been there.
Sara: Yeah. Lincoln, you've heard of post-traumatic stress disorder, right?
Lincoln: Yeah.
Sara: I'm gonna call you a prime candidate. I don't think a lot of people have been through what you just did. So if you...if you thought you saw someone...it's possible that it was your subconscious giving you what you wanted. Whoever it was that you wanted to be there with you in that moment to comfort you. Who was it you thought you saw?
Lincoln (shakes his head): Thanks, Doc. Thank you.
Sara: Sure thing.
(She leaves, and a CO closes the door leaving Lincoln with head in hands.)
[22. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Michael and Sucre carry an industrial fan past Westmoreland and C-Note.)
Westmoreland: I've seen a lot of rackets in my time. But if you're doing what I think you're doing with those postcards, yours definitely takes the cake.
C-Note: How about saving the small talk, old head. 'Cause you and I ain't got nothing in common.
Westmoreland: What do you do? Write 'em here, then send 'em to a pal in Iraq and have him mail 'em your wife's way?
C-Note: Why don't you just shut your word hole? You don't know nothing about my racket.
Westmoreland: A con pretending he ain't in the hole to his family. I've seen that once or twice. But Iraq?
C-Note: Yeah. You're the one to talk.
Westmoreland: Dede, is that your wife or your kid?
C-Note: Now, you listen. I don't even want you to say her name in this prison. You feel me?
Westmoreland: A daughter. Definitely a daughter.
C-Note: Yeah, how would you know?
Westmoreland: 'Cause I got one myself. You know, after you break outside these walls, that's the first place they're gonna look for you - family.
C-Note: Now, why is it you think I'm that dumb that I would go directly there?
Westmoreland: 'Cause that's exactly the first place I'm gonna go.
(C-Note laughs lightly.)
Westmoreland: Turns out maybe we got something in common after all.
[Camera sh*t of the watch tower as the sky turns dark.]
[23. INT. Lincoln's cell. Night.]
(Lincoln is still asleep and dreaming.)
[Flashback: Lincoln dreams of himself as a young child with his father.]
Aldo Burrows: See number 11 over there? Keep your eye on him. Watch him closely. Mid-level reliever at best, but he's always working on it. That's why he's your old man's favorite player - work ethic.
(The baseball player turns around, showing the back of his jersey: Prall, 11.)
(Back in the cell, Lincoln's eyes snap open.)
[Flashback to this morning, Pope: William Prall. You know him?]
CUT TO: Image of the baseball jersey, Prall, 11.
[24. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Sucre lies on his bunk. Michael is topless, standing with his back to the cell mirror and holding the smaller mirror in front of him.)
Michael: The pipe system beneath the psych ward is...well, it's complex. It'd be real easy to get lost.
Sucre: How complex can it be?
Michael: Very. When they built this place in 1858, the pipes were lead. A century later, they discovered lead was a health risk. So they went to copper.
(In the mirror behind him, the camera shows the pipe system being traced on Michael's tattoo.)
Michael: They never removed the lead pipes. Cost too much. There's thousands of yards of the stuff still down there. And then a few years ago they switched to industrial plastic.
(The mass of computer-generated pipes being traced on Michael's tattoo is now vast and complicated.)
Michael: Again, it was cheaper just to lay it over the old stuff. If I make a wrong turn down there tonight, I won't make it back by count.
Sucre: But you won't make the wrong turn, right?
[25. INT. Prison pipes system. Night.]
(Michael moves through the pipes until he looks up and sees his exit. He climbs the ladder attached to the vertical pipe wall, and pulls at the chain attached to the grate. It comes away after a bit of tugging. He climbs down again and opens the packet that was delivered by Manche.)
[Camera sh*t of the prison yard - night.]
[26. EXT. Prison yard. Night.]
(Michael's hand reaches up and slowly moves the grate over. He pulls himself out of the hole and replaces the grate. He is now wearing a guard's uniform, complete with baseball cap.)
ACT 3.
[27. EXT. Prison yard. Night.]
(Michael shivers in the snow. Suddenly a spotlight opens up from the watch tower, pointing straight at him. Michael feigns a guard's casual stance and waves towards the light. It shuts off. Michael walks over to psych ward.)
[28. INT. Psych ward. Night.]
(The psych ward orderly, Sklar, is sitting at the desk reading a magazine. Michael presses the buzzer outside. Sklar looks up surprised, and buzzes him in.)
Sklar: I don't believe my eyes. One of the blues actually coming in to psych ward.
Michael: I gotta h*t the head and didn't wanna walk all the way back to A-wing. Mind if I use your facilities?
Sklar: Yeah, be my guest.
(He buzzes Michael in.)
Sklar: I don't know why you guys are so scared of the whack shack. I mean, between the K*llers and the crazies, I'll take the crazies. 'Cause if a crazy steps out of line, all I gotta do is sh**t him with 40ccs of 'shut your trap' and it's beddy-bye.
Michael: So, uh, which way is the bathroom?
Sklar: Down the hall, through the door, make a right.
(He buzzes Michael through another gate. Inmates can be heard shouting as Michael makes his way down the corridor. Sklar watches him go.)
[29. INT. Cell block. Night.]
(Sucre watches a guard doing count on the other side of the block. He checks his watch anxiously. He looks over at the toilet.)
[30. INT. Psych Ward. Night.]
(Michael stands at the top of a flight of stairs. He walks down them carefully. He hears a door close above him and stops, but nothing else happens. He continues down the stairs, clearly deviating from Sklar's directions.)
(He finds himself in the basement and creeps through the clutter and equipment. He tries one door but it's shut fast. He moves through another door and looks around, eventually finding a grate on the floor marked "Utility System Access". He pulls it up and looks down the hole.)
(An access buzzer sounds from above. Michael realizes Sklar is coming. He quickly replaces the grate and walks out of the second basement room, closing the door.)
Sklar: Hey, blue. What you doing down here?
Michael: Hey. Uh...I was just...looking for the bathroom.
Sklar: Down here?
Michael: Yeah, you said down the hall, through the door and to the left.
Sklar: No. I said through the door and make a right.
Michael: Ah. My bad. Have a good night.
(He walks past Sklar and out of the basement.)
Sklar: Blue! Hold up.
(Michael walks back into view.)
Sklar: Don'cha still gotta take a leak?
Michael: Yeah. Uh...which way was that again?
[31. INT. Forensic Laboratory. Night.]
Forensic Examiner: With decomposition this extensive, the most accurate identification tool is dental records. We made an imprint of the deceased's teeth and compared them to the dental records of Terrence Steadman.
(He holds up the two imprints.)
Nick: And?
Forensic Examiner: They were a perfect match.
Peter Tucci: Thank you, Doctor.
Veronica: That can't be Terrence Steadman.
Forensic Examiner: If you like, you can bring in a forensic examiner of your own choosing to examine the body. But I can tell you now, they'll come to the same conclusion that I have.
Nick: Thank you.
(He and Veronica go to leave. When they open the door, Caroline Reynolds is standing outside.)
Caroline: I hope you're proud of this. You've gotten your pound of flesh. Are you done now? Or would you like to hurt my family some more?
Nick (to Veronica): Come on.
(He leads her away.)
[Camera sh*t of the Fox River Asylum - exterior - night.]
[32. EXT. Prison yard. Night.]
(Michael quickly goes across the yard to the grate. He drops down into the hole.)
[33. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Sucre taps the bunk nervously. He uses the mirror to look outside the cell: the guard is getting closer.)
[34. INT. Boiler room. Night.]
(Michael passes through the boiler room. Steam pours out of scalding hot pipes and exhausts.)
(He hears footsteps and pauses. C.O. Mack Andrews comes down the steps from above onto his level. Michael is right behind him.)
Andrews Radio (o/s): Hey Mack, are you there?
Andrews: Yeah.
Radio (o/s): What's your 20?
Andrews: I gotta step by Maintenance real quick. I'll be up in a minute.
(Andrews steps backwards, swigging from a vodka bottle. Michael is forced to back up even further, touching a steam pipe. He winces in agony, jamming a hand in his mouth as the steam burns his shoulder. Andrews finally walks onwards and Michael moves away from the steam.)
[35. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Sucre has made up Michael's bunk to look like somebody is sleeping in it. Sucre feigns sleep on the top bunk. The guard passes, shining his torch on him, and moves on. Just as he passes, Sucre opens his eyes and hears tapping at the wall.)
(Sucre pulls the toilet away and Michael crawls in, sweating and b*rned.)
Sucre: You okay?
Michael: I'm burnt.
Sucre: Oh, God...
Michael: All right, help me take this off.
Sucre: No, no, it's like, burnt to your skin, bro!
Michael: Take it off!
Sucre: Are you kidding me? I can't! It's melted into your skin!
Michael: If the guards catch me wearing this, I'm a d*ad man.
Sucre: Bro, it's just not happen...
Michael: Do it! Please do it.
(He has opened the front of it, and prepares himself for Sucre to rip it off.)
Sucre: Ready? One, two...
(He rips off the jacket and Michael falls forward with a scream of agony.)
[36. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Michael regains consciousness in the infirmary. Sara goes over to him.)
Sara: Michael, it's Sara. How are you feeling?
Michael: Groggy.
Sara: That's the anesthesia.
Michael: Why did I have anesthesia?
Sara: We had to perform a procedure.
(Michael looks worried.)
[37. INT. Pope's Office. Day.]
(Pope sits behind his desk, Sucre in front of him. Bellick is interrogating him.)
Bellick (in Sucre's face): So you got sick of Scofield's smart mouth that you decided to deep-fry him, is that it?
Sucre: I didn't do anything to him, I swear!
Bellick: Let's review. A locked cell. Two inmates. One gets branded like a South Dakota steer. You think we should call Matlock in on this one?
Sucre: Who's Matlock?
Pope: Fernando. You're only gonna make things more difficult if you don't co-operate.
Sucre: I told you, I didn't burn him. I found him like that.
Bellick: You found him like that?
Sucre: He was acting kind of weird when we lined up for final count. He was sweating, you know? But he's not a big talker anyway, so I didn't think much of it. Middle of the night, I get up, you know, to shake hands with the president, and there he is, face down on the floor.
Bellick: My ass.
Sucre: Ask him yourself when the doc's done with him. I didn't touch him!
[38. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
Sara: Painkillers.
Michael (taking them): How bad is it?
Sara: Uh...I'd take the pills.
Michael: Do I get to see it?
Sara: No. Bandage stays on for now. Take your pills. Your cellmate do this to you?
Michael (amused): Sucre? No.
Sara: Who did?
Michael: This is the part where I don't answer you.
Sara: All right. I'll have you sent back to your cell.
(She walks out, past a CO.)
Sara (to C.O.): All yours.
(She walks into the next room and picks up the telephone. The CO escorts Michael away.)
Sara (on telephone): Hey, Katie, it's me. Listen, uh, can you come up to my office for a second? I got something I wanna show you.
[39. INT. Laundry room. Day.]
(Manche looks at the hole in the guard's uniform.)
Manche: What the hell am I gonna do now? I'm a d*ad man!
Sucre: I'm sorry, cuz. It was an accident.
Manche: Bull's gonna see this and flip his lid.
Geary: Hey, Slim. You got my uni ready?
Manche: Um...there's been a bit of a problem, boss.
Geary: What the hell is this?
Manche: I left the iron on it too long.
Geary: You are as stupid as you are fat, do you know that, D-Cups? My new shirt's coming out of your kick.
(He throws the damaged shirt at him and walks away. Manche throws the shirt at Sucre.)
Manche: You're gonna tell me right now.
Sucre: Tell you what?
Manche: What the hell you've got going on that's got you burning up guards' suits.
Sucre: Trust me, primo, the less you know the better.
[40. INT. Attorney-Client Room. Day.]
(Veronica is buzzed in to see Lincoln.)
Lincoln: Any news?
Veronica: No. No, not yet. Testing takes a couple of days.
Lincoln: What do you remember of Dad?
Veronica: Your dad? I didn't know him. Your mom said some pretty horrible stuff about him when we were growing up.
Lincoln: I think I saw him. When I was in the chair.
Veronica: Lincoln...
Lincoln: It was him. I know it was.
Veronica: How would you know? You haven't seen his face in 30 years.
Lincoln: A name that was used. Willie Prall.
Veronica: So?
Lincoln: It's the name of this guy who threw for Chicago back in the day. Dad and me were really into him, but I'd forgotten all about him. It's really weird, I've been having these dreams, memories, things I guess I suppressed when he left.
Veronica: This man who came to the execution, how do you know he used that name?
Lincoln: Pope told me.
Veronica: Was that before or after you had the dream?
(Lincoln looks disappointed.)
Veronica: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I don't mean to challenge what you're saying. But your dad's been MIA almost your entire life.
Lincoln: I know what I saw, V. I know what I saw.
[41. INT. Security camera office. Day.]
(Agents Brinker and Kellerman and a video technician are watching several CCTV camera screens.)
Brinker: This is the security camera footage of the courthouse from the night that Judge Kessler got those documents. Check out this guy. He is very skilled. He moves casually enough to avoid suspicious. You see how he shifts his hat when he turns corners to hide his face? He knows exactly where those cameras are.
(She studies the footage.)
Brinker: Wait, right there. See that reflection? Rewind it, rewind it.
(The technician plays with the image of the guy in the footage (Aldo Burrows) posting the file under Judge Kessler's door.)
Brinker: Right, can you blow that up?
(Brinker leans forward and looks at the reflection of the guy in the door frame.)
Brinker: Son of a bitch.
Kellerman: What?
Brinker: I know that guy.
[42. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Sara removes a small dark piece of cloth from a pile of blooded cotton swabs with a pair of tweezers.)
Katie: What is it?
Sara: It was fused into Michael Scofield's skin. I removed it during the debridement procedure.
Katie: What about it?
Sara: Well, this fabric doesn't come from a standard issue prison uniform.
Katie: Where did it come from then?
Sara: As far as I can tell, a guard's uniform.
[43. INT. Prison cells block. Day.]
(Stolte escorts Michael back to his cell.)
Stolte: Open up 40!
Guard (o/s): Open.
(Michael walks in slowly.)
Stolte: Close 40!
Guard (o/s): 40 closed.
Sucre: How are you feeling?
(Michael strips off his sweater to reveal the gauze. He removes the gauze and the bandage and uses the small mirror to look at his back in the cell mirror. His face fills with panic.)
Sucre: What's wrong?
Michael: The blueprints. The ones we need to get from the psych ward to the infirmary. Our map out of here. They're gone.
[Camera sh*t of the burn on Michael's back in the cell mirror.]
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x15 - By the Skin and the Teeth"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
[Caption: Three Years Ago...]
(Lincoln is sleeping on the street, huddled outside his apartment doorway. The streets are covered in snow and it's snowing lightly.)
Michael: Rough night?
(Lincoln wakes at his voice, and rubs his hands over his face. He is wearing a thin vest with jeans, and a leather jacket. Michael is wearing a warm coat, scarf and ear muffs.)
Michael: I got your message. What's the problem?
Lincoln (huddling in the cold): I lost my keys.
(Michael throws some keys at him.)
Lincoln: Where'd you find 'em?
Michael: Four feet that way.
Lincoln: Must've dropped 'em.
(He groaned as he stands upright.)
Lincoln: How you doin'? It's been a while.
Michael: Fine. How are you?
Lincoln: Cold. Man, I...need to talk to you about something. Grab some lunch at Fascatti's?
Michael: I have to get back to work. Speaking of which, I heard you got fired a few weeks ago. What was it this time?
Lincoln: You really wanna know? Or are you just enjoying the view from your high horse?
Michael: You know what I want? To not have to be the older brother to my older brother.
(He turns and walks away. Lincoln walks into his apartment.)
[1. INT. Lincoln's apartment. Day.]
(Lincoln sees a man sitting on his couch.)
Lincoln: What you doing here, Crab?
Crab: Long time no see Mr. Linc, where you been?
Lincoln: Here and there.
Crab: Mm-hm.
Lincoln: I'm gonna get your 90 grand, all right?
Crab: Relax, man. That debt already been paid.
Lincoln: By who?
Bo: Someone who likes to do people favours.
(Lincoln turns towards the new guy who has entered the room.)
Lincoln: I don't know what it is you think you're getting but let's be clear about something. It's gonna be a few days before I get the money lined up.
Bo: Let's not kid ourselves. You can't get anywhere near that kind of money. So let's talk about what you can do for me.
[2. INT. Upscale Chicago bar. Night.]
Caroline Reynolds (on the television): Allies are like family. We have disagreements but we always smooth things out by Thanksgiving.
(Michael sits at the bar with a co-worker.)
Co-Worker: Okay, if you had to choose. Vice President Reynolds, or Kathy in HR.
Michael: I'll take door number three.
Co-Worker: Come on. If you had to choose.
Veronica (joining them): The chick in HR. Michael never cared much for blondes.
Michael: V.
Veronica: How you doing, Mike?
(The Co-Worker walks away with a smile.)
Michael: I'm good. I'm good. How are you?
Veronica: I'm okay. I'm over at Glazer and Ross. Lawyer number 97. Benefits are good.
(They smile at each other.)
Veronica: How's Lincoln?
Michael: You guys haven't talked?
Veronica: No, not for a few years. He kinda dropped off the radar. How is he?
Michael: He's um....you know. He's...he's Linc.
[3. INT. Lincoln's apartment. Night.]
Lincoln: I don't care who the guy is. I ain't k*lling no-one.
Bo: I must've missed the part where I gave you a choice.
(Across the street from Lincoln's apartment, another man watches the scene through a high-power telephoto lens. He speaks into an ear mic.)
Man (v/o): Black leather jacket. Two buttons down the front. Three on each sleeve. One missing on his right, no, left arm. Jeans. Faded. Stain on the left knee.
CUT TO: Lincoln's apartment.
(Lincoln looks down at a folded piece of paper in his hand.)
Bo: He does bad things to good people. Think of it as a $90,000 b*llet. You start fresh, and you keep me from finding out if there's someone in your life you will do something for.
[4. INT. Michael's apartment. Night.]
(Michael and Veronica stumble into the apartment, both a little drunk.)
Michael: Ah, I should...I should call you a cab.
Veronica: You know how you can tell God is a man? Shoes.
(She struggles to take off her high heels, stumbles and falls into Michael's arms.)
Michael: Oh, easy...
(They stare into each others eyes, as if they are about to kiss. Veronica slides her hand down Michael's arm. Michael's cell phone ringing interrupts them as they almost kiss.)
Michael: I'm sorry.
(He looks at his cell phone. The display says "Lincoln".)
Veronica: What?
Michael: It's...
Veronica: Are you gonna answer it?
Michael: He'll leave a message. He always does.
[5. EXT. Street. Night.]
(Lincoln leans against a street lamp, leaving an urgent message.)
Lincoln: Michael, it's Linc. I need your help, bro. I'm in something real bad. I can't get out of it. I need you to straighten me out. My head's all messed up. And...anyway, it's real important, bro. You gotta call me. You gotta call me now.
[6. INT. Michael's apartment. Night.]
(Michael and Veronica are still staring at each other, a charge hanging in the air between them.)
Michael: We can't do this.
Veronica: I know. I know.
(He strokes her hair tenderly.)
Michael: I'll call you a cab.
[7. EXT. Street. Night.]
(Lincoln lingers by the street lamp, waiting for Michael to call him. When he doesn't, Lincoln walks off into the parking lot, a g*n tucked behind his back.)
[Opening Credits.]
[Camera sh*t of Chicago - night.]
[8. INT. Parking garage. Night.]
(Lincoln drops a cigarette on the floor.)
(Slow motion camera as Lincoln moves towards Steadman's silver BMW. He raises the g*n and points it in the open driver's side window and then stops in shock. His mark is already d*ad - slumped forward over the steering wheel, a b*llet hole evident behind his ear, blood everywhere. Lincoln runs.)
[9. INT. Surveillance truck. Night.]
(Agents Hale and Kellerman watch the security tape in the truck.)
Hale: Did we get him?
Kellerman: I believe we did, partner.
[10. EXT. Street. Night.]
(A panicking Lincoln runs fast down the street. He passes a small group of people, jostling one of them. He turns around and shouts after Lincoln angrily. It's Fernando Sucre.)
Sucre: Pedazo de mamon!
Manche: Fernando, we should whup that guy's ass!
Sucre: Please. Only time I seen you whup some ass is when that old man cut in front of you at Arby's.
Hector: Yeah, and he was like 102 and blind.
(He laughs and shoves Manche playfully.)
Sucre: With a plastic hip.
(Sucre looks across and notices a group of girls, one of whom is Maricruz.)
Sucre: Oh my God.
Hector: What?
(Sucre smiles at Maricruz and she bashfully smiles back. Hector notes this subtle flirtation and doesn't look happy about it.)
[11. INT. Hospital. Night.]
PA: Doctor Davis, telephone please. Doctor Davis, telephone please.
(Sara marches through the halls of the hospital.)
Resident: They're waiting for you in 4B.
Sara: Uh, pull his film. I'll be there in a minute.
Resident: Yeah.
(Sara walks into a medical supply closet, swiping her access card. She reaches for some drugs, and fills a hypodermic needle with morphine. She ties a piece of cloth around her upper arm and sticks the needle into her arm, pressing the plunger down.)
(The camera pulls in and out of focus, reflecting how the drug is making Sara feel. Camera pans to Sara's ID badge: Hospital Staff.)
[Caption: Al-Jabar AFB, Kuwait.]
(The sun is beating down and rising from the roads. Camera pans in on First Sergeant Franklin (C-Note), covered in sweat. He is watching soldiers unload coffins from a truck.)
[12. INT. Tent. Day.]
(C-Note removes the lid to a coffin in front of his commanding officer. It is filled with ice and beers.)
Commander: Sergeant Franklin, you never cease to amaze me. Is there anything you can't get here? All right. A deal's a deal. Prison guard duty. Away from the front. Safest place you could be.
C-Note: Thank you. And my wife and daughter back home thank you too, sir.
(He salutes him and the Commander salutes back.)
[13. INT. Architects office. Day.]
(Veronica walks through Michael's workplace. Michael is standing over his desk talking to a colleague about some blueprints.)
Michael: These cold seams are pretty significant. (to Veronica) Hey.
Veronica: Hi.
Michael (to his colleague): Would you give us a minute? Thanks.
Veronica: Have you been watching the news?
Michael: Why?
Veronica: It's Lincoln.
[14. INT. Prison visitation room. Day.]
(Lincoln is wearing an orange jumpsuit, looking agitated. Michael sits opposite him.)
Lincoln: I didn't do it.
Michael: Terrence Steadman. The vice president's brother. Do you have any idea what they're gonna do to you?
Lincoln: I didn't do it, man. It was a setup. I didn't do it.
Michael: You knew him.
Lincoln: Who?
Michael: Steadman.
Lincoln: No.
Michael: You worked for his company.
Lincoln: So what?
Michael: From which you were fired a few weeks ago.
Lincoln: I loaded containers in the warehouse. Never met the guy. What the hell, Michael? You sound like one of the damn detectives.
Michael: I'm just saying.
Lincoln: You think I did it?
(Michael looks down. Lincoln shakes his head in disbelief.)
Michael: I heard you owe someone 90 grand.
Lincoln: Who told you that?
Michael: People talk. And I know Steadman had a lot of money.
Lincoln: I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a m*rder.
Michael: Then what were you doing in that garage last night? You admitted to the police you were there. Honestly, Linc, I don't know how it's come to this. And you can't keep blaming Mom for dying, and Dad for leaving, because I was there too. The difference is I got out. Mom had life insurance, I took my half, put myself through school. What'd you do with your half, Linc?
Lincoln: Everything's not how it looks, Michael.
Michael: I hope for your sake that's true.
[15. INT. Caroline Reynolds' office. Day.]
Brinker: Here. Here is where we want the turn to anger.
Caroline: Trust me, that won't be a problem.
Brinker: Now remember to stress his record as a repeat offender. We need the public behind us if we want the death penalty.
Caroline: And where are we with Governor Tancredi?
Brinker: He has aspirations. He won't be a problem.
Man (o/s): Thirty seconds, Madam Vice President.
Caroline: Thank you.
[16. INT. Michael's workplace. Day.]
Veronica: The papers have already crucified him. The police say they got a phone call right after the m*rder from someone claiming they saw Lincoln running from the parking garage.
Michael: He was into someone for 90 grand. What do you need that kind of money for? Drugs? Bribes? Forget about what you want to be true. Let's look at this objectively.
Veronica: Maybe you should too.
Michael: I am.
Veronica: All right, you know what, I promised I wouldn't say anything but I'm getting tired of you talking about him like he's some guy from the neighborhood that you used to know. He's your brother.
Michael: I know. And I know he helped you out with your dad back in the day, but you should see the kind of person he is now, the kind of people he keeps friends with.
Veronica: You wanna know what the 90 grand was for?
Michael: I think I do.
Veronica: You.
Michael: What do you mean?
Veronica: The money you got when you were 18 years old, from your mother's life insurance? The money that paid for your degree, that got you this job, that bought you your loft? Your mother never had life insurance. That money came from Lincoln.
Michael: How?
Veronica: He borrowed it. He knew it'd be tough to pay back but that didn't matter because he thought you deserved it. He also knew you'd never accept it if you knew it came from him. Michael, you are where you are because of your brother.
Michael: You're telling me he is where he is because of me?
(Michael looks guilty.)
ACT 2.
[Camera pans over the exterior of a police holding prison.]
[17. INT. Prison visitation room. Day.]
Michael: Why? Why didn't you tell me about the money?
Lincoln: No need to.
Michael: Oh, Linc.
Lincoln: Who told you? Veronica? What's she make of all this? About me?
Michael: I don't know.
Lincoln: Glad she got out when she did, huh?
Michael: You know how she feels about you. It's been the same way ever since we were kids.
Lincoln: Yeah.
Michael: Linc...I owe you an apology.
Lincoln: For what?
Michael: The night you called. If we'd talked, maybe I could've stopped you...
Lincoln: Hey, hey, hey, hey. It isn't your fault.
Michael: Then whose is it?
Lincoln: Listen up, you need to forget about this. Move on. Work hard. Do what you do.
Michael: I can't do that.
Lincoln: Oh yes you can. And you will.
(Michael nods slightly.)
Michael: Here's the part I don't understand. All the evidence is lining up in a path that leads directly to you. They say they have you on tape, pulling the trigger.
(Camera sh*t of Kellerman standing over the shoulder of a video technician, who is doctoring the security footage of Lincoln. It now looks and sounds like the g*n is being fired three times.)
Michael: If you didn't k*ll Terrence Steadman, how the hell did someone make it look like you did?
CUT TO: Kellerman: Perfect.
[18. EXT. Street. Day.]
(Sucre and his friends are walking along.)
Manche: 'Perfect' is a strong word, cuz.
Sucre: I got strong feelings, bro. I'm telling you, she might be the one.
Manche: Is she from the block?
Sucre: Nope. Uptown. Pill Hill.
(Hector laughs.)
Hector: You think you could hold onto a girl from the PH?
Sucre: I'm gonna take her out to dinner. You'll see. Someplace real nice.
Hector: Come on, Fernando. How are you gonna afford a place like that?
[19. INT. Liquor store. Night.]
(Sucre walks in quickly and pulls a g*n out, pointing it at the clerk.)
Sucre: Open the drawer. Open the drawer, coño!
Clerk: Okay, okay, all right, okay.
Sucre: Quick, quick, quick! Now!
(The clerk holds out a bunch of cash for Sucre to take, in shaking hands.)
Sucre: Actually, this is all I need.
(He takes a $100 bill.)
Clerk: Okay...
(Sucre runs out, leaving the clerk looking bemused.)
[Camera sh*t of the hot Kuwait desert.]
[20. INT. Military Prison. Day.]
C-Note (to a fellow soldier: I appreciate your business, man. I'll have that in here for you about next week.
(C-Note chuckles and whistles as he walks down the hall. He suddenly hears the muffled sounds of screaming and halts.)
(He walks round a corner and the screams are much louder. In one of the cells he can see an Iraqi prisoner, naked and strapped in a chair except for a hood over his head. He is attached to electrodes and a soldier monitors intermittent electric currents while the prisoner screams in agony.)
[21. INT. Michael's office. Night.]
(Michael sits at his desk. He reaches for the incident report about his brother and skims it. He notices the names "Crab Simmons" and "Bo". He slides open his desk drawer to put the report in, when he sees, buried under blue prints, an old origami crane.)
[22. EXT. Street. Day.]
(Sara stumbles along with her boyfriend Colin. She is obviously in a drugged haze.)
Sara: Ah...I brought you a gift from the hospital.
Colin: Oh. Oh!
(Sara passes him three hypodermic needles.)
Sara (singing): I brought you a gift from the hospital.
Colin: I'm telling ya, it is like Christmas.
(Sara giggles and hugs him.)
Colin: And you work at the North Pole.
(A teenage boy passes them on a bike.)
Sara: If the North Pole had g*n wounds and amputations.
Colin: Seriously, I don't know how you work there.
Sara: What do you mean? I like to help people.
Colin: You like helping yourself. And you like helping your friends.
(They kiss. The sudden screeching of tyres, a car horn and a thud breaks them apart.)
Sara: Oh my God...oh my God...
(A crowd of people run up to the boy who passed Sara on his bike earlier. He is lying in the road, not moving.)
Woman: Oh, can you hear us? Are you okay? Can you hear us? Are you okay?
(Sara hears the woman talking in distorted tones.)
Woman: Help, somebody! Who's got a telephone? Call 911! Call 911! Help!
(She notices Sara's ID badge.)
Woman: Are you a doctor? Can you help him?
(Sara can only hear the woman in distorted tones. She stares at the woman in a drugged up haze and falls to her knees, looking at the boy. The boy is blurry to her eyes.)
Woman: Well, do something!
(Sara knows she is unable to do anything, she just stares at him. Finally Colin pulls her away as a man begins CPR on the boy. Sara wrestles out of Colin's grip and turns, dropping to her knees, staring at the dying boy in horror.)
[23. INT. Commander's tent. Day.]
(C-Note marches before Commander Meyers and salutes.)
Commander: At ease.
C-Note: The whiskey that you ordered, Sir, will be here in a couple of days.
Commander: That's fine. I actually bought you here to talk to you about something else. The prisoner abuse report you filed.
C-Note: Yes, sir.
Commander: I need to know how far you're willing to go with this.
C-Note: Whatever it takes, sir. I particularly have no love for the desert donkeys, but I do have some for the Geneva Convention.
Commander: If something like this gets out, it might open up our boys to similar treatment from the enemy.
C-Note: I understand that, sir, but I'm not planning on calling a press conference. what I'm saying is...what I saw was wrong, and someone needs to take responsibility for it, sir.
Commander: All right.
(Two military police officers enter the tent.)
Commander: Please take Mr. Franklin into custody.
C-Note: What? What the hell is going on, sir?
Commander: Sergeant Franklin, I'm hereby recommending that you be dishonorably discharged from the United States Army.
C-Note: What? For what?!
Commander: For engaging in illegal black-marketing.
C-Note: What...you asked me to get that stuff, man!
Commander: I kept it to myself. Maybe you should learn to do the same.
(The MPs drag him away.)
C-Note: You can't do this. You can't do this! You cannot do this!
[24. INT. Court room. Day.]
(The judge bangs his gravel.)
Judge: Has the jury reached a verdict?
Foreman: We have, Your Honour.
Judge: What say you?
Foreman: In the manner of the people of the State of Illinois versus Lincoln Burrows, on the count of m*rder in the first degree, we find the defendant guilty.
(Michael and Veronica look disappointed and upset.)
Judge: The defendant will remain in custody until one week from today, when we commence the penalty phase.
(Two police officers walk Lincoln away. Veronica gets in their path.)
Veronica: Lincoln.
(They clasp hands.)
[Flashback: Young Lincoln, holding hands in exactly the same way, with Young Veronica, while Young Michael watches.]
Michael: I'm so sorry, Linc.
Lincoln: Don't be. It's not your fault.
[Camera pans over rooftops covered in snow.]
[25. INT. Sucre's bedroom. Day.]
Sucre: You know what I like?
Maricruz: Hm?
Sucre: How, after we make love, you get this little puddle of water in your belly button.
Maricruz: Fernando, that's sweat! And get out of there! It's disgusting!
Sucre: I think it's beautiful.
(He blows a raspberry on her belly and they both laugh. She rolls over on top of him.)
Maricruz: Well, I think you're beautiful.
(They kiss.)
Maricruz: What do you want, Fernando?
Sucre: You gotta give me a few more minutes. We just...
(He laughs.)
Maricruz: Stop, no. From the future. What do you want from the future?
Sucre: Would you run if I said you?
Maricruz: Would you chase me if I did?
[26. INT. L Station. Day.]
(C-Note and Darius are standing on the platform.)
Darius: I don't get it. All these commercials show brothers learning computer skills, new technologies.
C-Note: Uncle Sam didn't teach me nothin' but cadence and k*ll.
Darius: You check over at the Price Mart?
C-Note: Ain't hiring. Especially with a brother with a dishonorable discharge - goes right to the bottom of the pile, man.
Darius: How long d'you think you can keep this up?
C-Note: Man, till somebody gives me a job.
Darius: No, I'm talking about lying to Kacee. Your unit's been on leave for a long damn time now. Pretty soon they're gonna start thinking you're lucky and she gonna start askin' questions.
C-Note: Yeah, well, then I need to start finding some answers.
Darius: Look, I happen to know of an employment opportunity.
C-Note: Oh, come on, man, you know I don't get down like that.
Darius: It's just driving a truck.
C-Note (disbelieving): Yeah.
Darius. A to B. That's it. Uncle Sam taught you how to drive trucks, didn't he?
C-Note: Yeah, and he also taught me to look inside.
Darius: It might be illegal, but it's also rent. A to B. Your call.
C-Note (unsure): Yeah.
[27. INT. Prison visitation room. Day.]
Michael: They didn't even let her testify.
Lincoln: Who?
Michael: Leticia Barris. And that cop changed his story a dozen times.
Lincoln: What part of 'move on' don't you get?
Michael: After Mom died, and it was just you and me, I remember having trouble sleeping. Never knowing where you were. But when I'd wake up in the morning, there'd be this paper bird. An origami crane, sitting next to my bed. And I never knew what it meant exactly. But I figured it was your way of letting me know you were checking in on me. Anyway - I looked it up - the crane. It stands for familial obligation. Watching out for your own. Maybe it's my turn to watch out for you.
(He places the old crane on the table. Lincoln looks at it.)
Michael: So. Same time tomorrow.
Lincoln: No, man. They're transferring me to a prison where I'll wait until they execute me.
Michael: Can I still visit?
Lincoln: Yeah, not that far. A place called Fox River.
Michael (his eyes light up): Fox River.
Lincoln: Yeah. Why?
Michael: Nothing.
ACT 3.
[28. INT. Susan's house. Night.]
(Susan Hollander and her two children are laying the table.)
Gracey: How come there's four?
Susan: Well, Mommy's new friend is coming over for dinner again.
Zack (annoyed): Again? He just came over last night.
Gracey: I like him.
Susan: Well, I do too. And I want you both to be extra polite, because he's stopping by Malarkey's on his way home from work and he's bringing us a really good meal.
(The doorbell rings.)
Susan: In fact... You two, go wash your hands.
(She hurries to the front door, checking herself in the mirror first. She opens the door. Standing on the doorstep is Theodore Bagwell, wearing a collared shirt and a smart jacket. He smiles genuinely.)
T-Bag: Evening, Mrs. Hollander. Don't you look lovely this evening?
[29. INT. Michael's workplace. Night.]
(Michael comes out of the elevator at Middleton, Maxwell & Schaum. He walks over to a filing cabinet, and looks around. Squatting down he opens the bottom drawer. He finds a tube of Fox River blueprints, takes them and walks away, checking around him.)
[30. EXT. Sucre's apartment. Day.]
Sucre: All right. I'm gonna do it.
Hector: Do what?
Sucre: I'm gonna propose to Maricruz.
Manche: Are you serious?
Hector: When?
Sucre: As soon as I can afford the ring.
Hector (laughs): So what, like 10, 20 years?
Sucre: What's your problem, man? Why can't you just be happy for me?
Hector: I'm just trying to protect you. What, you think you can give her everything she wants?
Sucre: It takes more than money to do that.
Hector: You know I love you, cuz. (He kisses Sucre's cheek.) I just think you should look at the reality here.
Manche: Seriously, primo, how are you gonna afford a ring for a girl like that, huh?
[31. INT. Liquor store. Night.]
(Sucre walks into the liquor store and pulls out his g*n again.)
Sucre: Open the drawer!
Clerk: Hey, hey, hey, okay, okay...
Sucre: Coño, now!
(The clerk holds out a £100 bill.)
Clerk: This right?
Sucre: Actually, I'm gonna need a little bit more this time.
Clerk: Okay, okay...(He grabs at more notes) Here you go.
Sucre: I'm sorry.
Clerk: Okay.
(Sucre runs to the door and hears police sirens outside. He stops, knowing he is caught.)
[32. EXT. Liquor store. Night.]
(Sucre is led to a police car in handcuffs. Camera pans out to reveal Hector standing there, holding a cell phone - the cell phone has 911 on the display. He closes the cell and walks away.)
[33. INT. Caroline Reynolds' office. Night.]
Caroline: Anyone asking questions?
Kellerman: Not loud enough to hear.
Caroline: God! I can't remember the last time I was this much of a nervous wreck.
Kellerman: School board, second term, 1992?
(Caroline laughs. Kellerman hands her a piece of paper headed 'Montana Mansion' with a photo of a secluded mansion.)
Kellerman: Secluded, no real access roads, perfect for what you're looking for. Only one problem.
Caroline: What's that?
Kellerman: It's over two million dollars.
Caroline: Well, didn't my poor brother Terrence leave something for me in his will?
Kellerman: You'd have to ask your accountants, ma'am.
Caroline: Tell them to use that money. I'm paying for his mistake, he can pay for the damn house.
[34. INT. Community Center. Day.]
(Sara sits in a circle of people, at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.)
Sara: I've been clean for 18 months now. I'll tell you, I've never been happier. That actually might be the wrong word. I'll be honest, there were times I was using I felt pretty damn happy. Um...but what I feel is different now. I feel...I feel joy.
(She fidgets her hands together.)
Sara: So here I am. I know that all I can do every day is the next right thing. And I think for me right now that means going back to work. I uh, I don't know. Maybe...maybe counseling. Um...I wanna help people get from where I've been to where I am.
[35. INT. Community Center. Night.]
(The meeting has adjourned. Sara pours coffee into a paper cup. She is approached by Captain Bellick.)
Bellick: Hey, Sara. You used to be a doctor, right?
Sara: Uh...I still am, in theory. Why?
Bellick: Well, I was just thinking, I might know of a job opening where I work.
Sara: Really? Where's that?
Bellick: You ever heard of Fox River?
Sara: The prison?
Bellick: Yeah. I know it sounds like a strange idea. Maybe...maybe you and I could, uh...maybe we could talk about it over dinner. I got a gift card to the Red Lobster over off the interstate.
Sara: Oh my God. Um...Thank you. Really. Uh...I...Tonight's kinda my night to work on my resume. Um...
(Bellick looks like his heart is breaking.)
Bellick: Oh. Yeah. Of course.
Sara: Sorry. I ...But thank you. Really. For the referral. Fox River.
Bellick: Yeah.
[36. INT. Michael's apartment. Night.]
(Michael stands opposite a black wall, with a newspaper clipping in the center. It reads: 'Lincoln Burrows Final Appeal Denied.' Michael had two rolls of blue prints over his shoulders. He spreads them out and pins them to the wall.)
[37. EXT. Streets. Night.]
(C-Note drives the truck along the road. He looks down at a photo of his wife and daughter. Suddenly two police cars pull up alongside him and he knows he's busted.)
[38. INT. Susan's house. Night.]
(T-Bag sits at the table with Gracey. Zack is on the couch, and Susan in the kitchen.)
T-Bag: You know, math was never my best subject either. But I got through it by learning some new tricks. You want to learn some tricks, Gracey?
Gracey: Like what?
(T-Bag holds his hands up.)
T-Bag: Like your nine times tables. Ready? Nine times one is ... (he puts one finger down, leaving nine remaining.)
Gracey: Nine.
T-Bag: Nine times two is ... (he puts down another finger, leaving eight remaining.)
Gracey: Eighteen.
T-Bag: Nine times three is ...
(Gracey pulls down one of his fingers gently, leaving seven.)
Gracey: Twenty-seven!
T-Bag: Exactly. You got it, now keep on going.
Gracey: Mommy, mommy, did you see what Teddy taught me?
Susan: Yes, that's great, honey. Go show your brother.
(Gracey goes to the couch.)
Gracey: Zack, look...nine times one...
Susan (to T-Bag): Thank you.
(She kisses him gently, smiles and walks back into the kitchen. T-Bag turns to watch the children.)
TV in kitchen: Welcome back to America's Most Wanted.
(Susan watches and sees a mugshot of T-Bag on the screen. She watches, horrified, realizing he is in the living room with her children.)
[39. INT. Michael's apartment. Night.]
(Michael paces, reciting things inaudibly under his breath. Index cards cover the blueprints as he tries desperately to memorize them.)
Michael: Right, right, left left, right, right...
(He removes an index card, but it's the wrong one.)
Michael: Right, right, left, left...left.
(Camera fades in to different sh*ts of him standing in different places along the wall.)
Michael (v/o): Left, left, right, boiler room, left, left, right...
(He rips off another index card, replaces it, frustrated. He throws the remaining index cards on the floor and then starts ripping them off the wall, muttering under his breath. He sighs, running his hands over his hair. The doorbell rings.)
[40. INT. Michael's apartment doorway. Night.]
(Michael opens the door to a pizza delivery girl.)
Michael: Hey.
Delivery Girl: Here you go.
Michael: Thank you.
(He hands her some money, and becomes transfixed by the tattoos covering her arms.)
Delivery Girl: Let me get your change.
(She hands out some money but he makes no move to take it.)
Delivery Girl: Do you want your change?
(Michael looks at a tattoo just below her neck.)
Michael: Keep it.
(She turns around to walk away. She has a tattoo on the back of her neck as well. Camera pans in on Michael's eyes, thinking.)
ACT 4.
[41. INT. C-Note's house. Day.]
(C-Note walks in to find his wife and daughter reading together on the couch.)
Kacee: Hey.
C-Note: Hey.
Dede: Daddy!
C-Note: Hey, sweetheart. Come here.
(She jumps into his arms and he hugs her.)
Kacee: Hey, there.
C-Note: Hey.
(Camera pans over to show Darius enter; he stays hidden.)
C-Note: You know, I got, uh...I gotta tell you something. And it's gonna be really hard to hear.
(Kacee takes Dede off of him.)
Kacee: Okay.
(They all sit on the couch.)
Kacee: What?
C-Note: Well, the thing is...(he looks at them) I'm...being...shipped back off.
Kacee: What?
C-Note: Yeah, um...my unit just got called back for another tour, baby.
Kacee: I can't believe it.
(Camera shows Darius shaking his head.)
C-Note: Deployment orders just came down, you know, with the Italians pullin' out and everything...
Dede: Tell 'em no, daddy!
(She hugs him tightly.)
C-Note: Oh...
Darius (in the doorway): Yo, B.
Kacee (to Dede): Come here, baby.
Darius: Can you give me a hand with something out back?
(C-Note looks at Kacee.)
Kacee: Okay.
[42. EXT. C-Note's house. Day.]
Darius: That's my sister you lied to in there!
C-Note: Which is why I know you're gonna take care of her when I'm gone.
Darius: This is crazy.
C-Note: Maybe. So is the way I got kicked out of the army. So is the way I got busted for driving that truck. And so is the way I feel about that woman up in there. She married a military man, who knows how to take care of his business. Now, if I look like one of these thugs...now, what do you think she's gonna do? Huh? How long do you think she's gonna wait for me while I'm inside?
Darius: I don't know, man.
C-Note: You owe me this, man. Don't you ever let her know where I am. Do you feel me?
[43. INT. Michael's apartment. Night.]
(Michael lays tracing paper over the Fox River blueprints - first his route through the pipes, then the demon holding the sword design for the tattoo.)
(The camera pans over the desk, across Michael's tattoo designs. There is Cute Poison, Ripe Chance Woods, and Allen Schweitzer. The camera moves to another piece: boLshoi booze.)
[44. INT. Mexican bar. Day.]
(Michael stands at the bar talking to a shady looking man.)
Man: Usually I do this the other way. Why do you want to...?
Michael: I want what I want.
(The man reaches into his pocket for a small piece of paper and slides it along the bar towards Michael.)
Man: You show this to anyone else, I am calling the whole thing off.
(Michael looks at the piece of paper: it says boLshoi booze.)
CUT TO: Paper on Michael's desk in his apartment, also reading boLshoi booze. The camera pans down to show another piece: Ripe Chance Woods.
[45. EXT. Cemetery. Day.]
(Michael stands in a snow-covered cemetery holding a shovel. He stands in front of a headstone, staring at it for a moment, then he lifts his shovel and smashes it into the earth.)
[46. INT. Michael's apartment. Day.]
(Michael looks over his wall of plans. He passes newspaper articles about John Abruzzi with headlines 'Life sentence for mob boss Abruzzi' and 'Informant key in prosecutor's case against Abruzzi'. He moves to an advert for Czechoslovakian brides. He runs his hand over a series of articles about Warden Pope and his impressive history.)
(Michael writes 'Pugnac' on a post-it note and sticks it to a copied article filled with chemical compounds.)
(Camera pans out to show Michael standing in front of the wall, now covered with articles, post-it notes, blue print plans and photographs.)
[47. INT. Fox River visitation room. Day.]
(Susan Hollander sits on the visitors' side seat. A buzzer sounds, and T-Bag walks over to sit opposite her. He looks contrite.)
Susan: My therapist said...she said that I'm holding too much in, and that I need to confront you to let you know how betrayed I feel. I let you into my life, my home. My God, I let you near my children!
T-Bag: I never touched them.
Susan: You should have told me what you were.
T-Bag (upset, vulnerable): You think you're the only one who feels betrayed? I...loved you, Susan. Real love. For the first time in my life. And then to have you do me like that. To throw me out to the dogs, just toss me out the back door, like...
Susan: You're a m*rder, Teddy!
T-Bag (shouts): That's not f...
(He stops, pauses.)
T-Bag: I have sinned in the past. But when I met you, that...person, the one who did all those terrible things, he died. And I was reborn. By the grace of your love, I was a new man...a better man.
Susan: No. That doesn't just erase the man who k*lled six students in Alabama.
(Silence. Something changes in T-Bag's eyes.)
T-Bag (coldly, now): I guess that's where you're right. 'Cause when you sent me here to this place with these people, it brought that old dirty bastard right back home. In fact, there was a candle in the window just waiting for me to walk up them front steps. You know, I'm gonna...I'm gonna get out of here some day. And when I do...don't think I won't remember what your front steps look like, Susan.
(Susan spits on the glass and storms out the visitation room. T-Bag puts his hand on his side of the glass, next to her saliva.)
[Camera sh*t of the mansion in Blackfoot, Montana, in the same sh*t as was shown in the brochure.]
[48. INT. Mansion kitchen. Day.]
(Caroline Reynolds chops up vegetables and puts them in the blender. She carries a tray through to someone sitting in an armchair, facing the window.)
Caroline: It's almost over. Burrows will be d*ad soon and then things will start getting back to normal.
(The man leans forward and takes the glass of blended food.)
Caroline: I know that you've been through a lot. But I promise you, the worst is now behind us.
(The man takes a set of false teeth out of a mug. He turns around to look at Caroline: he is Terrence Steadman.)
Terrence: My dear sister. You have no idea what I've been through.
Caroline: Good night, Terrance.
[49. INT. Michael's apartment. Day.]
(Michael buttons up a white shirt and pushes his tie into place.)
CUT TO: Lincoln, looking down at the crane.
CUT TO: Michael's apartment.
(Michael walks over to the table, his hand hovering over two g*n. He hesitates for a second, then picks them up and leaves the apartment.)
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x16 - Brother's Keeper"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
(Michael is in Warden Pope's office, working on the model of the Taj Mahal. Pope enters the room.)
Pope: Hey, that's looking good. You're making some real progress.
Michael: Plaster adds a lot of weight. I may have to add reinforcements.
Pope: Whatever it takes. As long as you get done in time for the anniversary.
Michael: It'll be done. (He takes off the top and hands it to Pope.) Hold this.
Pope: You know, the shah loved his Taj so much that he built another temple just like it on the other side of the river. It was an absolute mirror image, except it was darker. It was like a black Taj Mahal.
Michael: Never heard of it. (He replaces the top.)
Pope: Well, that's 'cause it was never completed. He was overthrown by his favorite son before he could finish it.
Michael: Sounds like a myth.
Pope: No, it's 100% true. I think.
(They both chuckle. The door opens and Becky, Pope's assistant, looks in.)
Becky: Excuse me, Warden. Dr Tancredi's here to see you.
Pope: Thank you.
(They walk through to the outer office. Michael looks at Sara, an awkward moment passing between them.)
Pope: Adams, please escort Mr. Scofield back to his cell.
(The C.O. leads Michael away.)
Pope: Doctor, what can I do for you?
Sara: Actually, it's about Scofield, sir.
Pope: Come in.
(They walk into Pope's office.)
Pope: What about Scofield?
Sara: The burn on his back is fairly serious.
Pope: He seems to be recovering.
Sara: At first I assumed he was being as*ault by another inmate, but I found this embedded in the skin of his back.
(She hands Pope a plastic bag containing the scrap of fabric she got from Michael's wound.)
Sara: It's fabric. Came from a guard's uniform.
(Pope looks up, shocked.)
[1. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael sits, trying to draw the missing section of blueprints on his back from memory. He screws up a piece of paper and throws it to one side, frustrated.)
Sucre: What are you doing?
Michael: I'm trying to remember those blueprints. What we lost to the burn. Without them, we'll never be able to navigate those pipes beneath psych ward.
Sucre: Any luck?
Michael: No. I spent a lot of time studying those blueprints. Tracing them, night after night. Tracing every possible route to the infirmary.
[Flashback: Michael tracing blueprints, looking at his planning wall in his apartment.]
Michael: It's like trying to take a test you studied for ten years ago.
[2. INT. Cell block. Day.]
(The inmates' are waiting around on the floor and the tiers. Bellick comes in.)
Bellick (shouts): PI!
(T-Bag walks over, and is joined by Sucre.)
(Camera pans across to a new inmate, Annie the tr*nny. He's wearing his blue shirt tied in a knot over his stomach, and his pants are low, revealing pink patterned women's underwear.)
Sucre: How do they get like that? I got no idea.
(Annie the tr*nny walks up the stairs facing the camera, revealing he is wearing overstated make-up.)
T-Bag: Tugging on too many pockets.
Sucre: She tug on your pocket?
T-Bag: I may be social, but that is a boundary line even I won't cross.
(They walk away, followed by Westmoreland. C-Note and Michael come up.)
C-Note: So how about it, Fish? When are we rollin' out?
Michael: One hiccup left, but I'm working on it.
C-Note: Yeah? What's that?
Michael: Our road map's a little incomplete at the moment.
[Camera sh*t of the storage buildings - exterior - day.]
[3. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Michael is trying to draw the route on the clipboard.)
Sucre: I don't get it. Why not just go down there again?
Michael: 'Cause one, I don't have the guard's uniform anymore, which means I can't get across the yard or past the orderly. And two, even if I did, it's a mess down there. (he taps the clipboard with his pen.) I need this.
Sucre: You think you're gonna remember it?
Michael: Not with you hounding me.
(The door opens and Patterson comes in.)
Patterson: Time to wrap it up. We're gonna have you start exterminating.
Michael: We're not done in here.
Patterson: Well, you look done to me.
C-Note: No, CO, we still got the carpet to do.
Patterson: No, Bellick is going to bring in professionals to do that. Wants the job done right.
Westmoreland: When's that gonna happen?
Patterson: Tomorrow.
(He leaves the room. T-Bag throws down his paint roller.)
T-Bag: We got a real problem on our hands, don't we? Rug monkeys gonna come in here, tear up that there carpet, that hole's gonna be smiling up at 'em.
Michael: We'll have to fill it in.
C-Note: We just dug that bitch.
Michael: All we need is a piece of plywood and a couple of inches of that fast settling concrete on top of it. The carpet guys will never know there's anything beneath. The night we break out, we'll just smash through with a sledgehammer.
(He looks around at his team.)
Michael: Well, okay. Let's get on it. We've only got a couple of hours to get this thing done.
[4. INT. Bellick's office. Day.]
(Tweener is escorted in Bellick's office. Inside are Bellick, and a very tall, fat, disgusting con.)
Bellick: Hey, Tweener. You met Avocado.
Tweener: Yo, what's up?
(Avocado reaches out and touches Tweener's chin.)
Avocado: Lookie. She's just a baby.
(Tweener slaps Avocado's hand away.)
Bellick: h*t road.
(The CO escorts Avocado away. Tweener looks at Bellick, nervously.)
Bellick: Have a seat. So. Scofield. What's the 9-1-1?
Tweener: It's 4-1-1. And I don't know, man. I ain't up in his car.
Bellick: You know, Avocado's looking for a new cellie.
Tweener: Boss, come on. I'm tryin' to break bread with the man, but I can't get jack unless I can get to the table, you know what I'm sayin'? Scofield's got his own peeps up in PI, he don't need me.
(Bellick stares at him, getting an idea.)
[5. INT Break room. Day.]
(The team are quickly mixing cement.)
Sucre: How long's this stuff take to dry?
C-Note: One, two hours.
(Westmoreland comes in.)
Westmoreland: f*re on the line.
C-Note: Shit.
(They hurry to hide the hole.)
C-Note: Table, table, table.
(Sucre helps him move the table. Bellick walks in.)
Bellick (whistles): This place is sweet. I hear we're getting satellite.
T-Bag: Yeah, all the p*rn you can watch, boss.
Bellick: Good, good. You know, you girls have done such a good job. I thought you could use an extra pair of hands on the crew.
(The team look up in shock. Bellick whistles, and Tweener saunters in.)
Tweener: S'up?
OPENING CREDITS.
[6. INT. Break room. Day.]
(There is silence in the room with Tweener there. T-Bag stands by the wall with his paint roller, pretending like he's painting Tweener.)
C-Note: Hey, man, look at my brush. It's all stickin' together.
Michael: Somebody needs to go clean 'em out.
T-Bag: According to the rank, that would be you.
(He gives the paint roller to Tweener.)
Tweener: What do I gotta do?
Michael: There's a hose out by the shed in the yard. You can use that.
(The team start piling up their paint brushes. C-Note adds the paint stirrers.)
C-Note: Clean those too.
Tweener: Ai'ight. Sorry I busted up the party, yo.
(He makes like he's leaving but stands at the door. Westmoreland comes to check he's leaving, and he walks outside, disappointed.)
[Camera sh*t of a large impressive building in Chicago - day.]
[Caption: U.S. Secret Service Field Office. Chicago, Illinois.]
[7. INT. Field Office. Day.]
(Kellerman walks along with Brinker. He's holding a photo with a blown up photo of Aldo Burrows.)
Kellerman: Who is he?
Brinker: For your purposes, all you need to know is that the man in that photo used to work for The Company. He went rogue.
Kellerman: How is he involved in this situation?
Brinker: He's Burrows' father.
Kellerman: Wait, wait. You picked the son of a Company man to be our patsy? Did the Company know?
Brinker: The Company did know. That was the whole point.
Kellerman: How 'bout you elaborate on that?
Brinker: How about you stop with all the questions? You are a glorified bodyguard. That's it. The job's to be seen, not to be heard. Is that understood?
(Kellerman says nothing but it's clear he's less than happy. Brinker walks away.)
[Camera sh*t of the prison yard - day.]
[8. INT. Break room. Day.]
(C-Note mixes the cement.)
Michael: How close are we?
C-Note: Oh, we're good to go, baby.
(Westmoreland enters.)
Westmoreland: Got another badge!
Michael: What is this, happy hour?
(The team hurry to hide the hole again. Geary enters.)
Geary: Scofield. Pope wants to see you. The rest of you, round up. You're done in here.
C-Note: CO Patterson said we had till the end of the day to finish up.
Geary: And I say you're done. There's a couple of hours of work I want done in the yard before sundown.
(The team look at each other.)
Geary: Come on, let's go!
(The inmates have no choice but to leave the break room. Sucre goes over to Michael.)
Sucre: We're d*ad!
Michael: We're not. I'll get it done.
Sucre: It's gotta be done tonight.
Michael: I said I'll get it done.
Geary: Scofield, Pope's waiting.
[9. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln is on his bed, eyes closed. Stolte opens the hatch in the door.)
Stolte: Hey, Linc.
(Lincoln moves over to the door and looks through the barred window.)
Lincoln: You gonna let me out?
Stolte: No, Linc. Just came to let you know they set a new date. DOC refiled all the paperwork. Execution's a week from Friday at midnight.
(Lincoln doesn't care about that.)
Lincoln: You gonna let me out in the yard or what?
Stolte: Unless I hear it from the Pope himself, I can't do it, man...
Lincoln: Come on, man. Ten minutes! That's all I'm asking. Ten minutes.
Stolte: I'm sorry.
[Camera sh*t of a railway, a train goes down the track - day.]
[10. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
Nick: Some guy just walks into the courtroom, drops off some medical records, Lincoln gets a stay of execution. Then, poof, he disappears into the cold. What do you think it could be? Some anti death penalty fanatic?
Veronica: Oh, come on, in this case, I doubt it. Without a name or a paper trail, we got no way of getting to him.
LJ: So once again, we have nothing.
Veronica: I wouldn't exactly call a two-week stay nothing, okay? It's more than we had yesterday.
LJ: Can I ask you a question? Do you really think that you're going to get to the bottom of this? That they'll let you get to the bottom of this? These guys don't exist! You go after them with the law, and they'll just use it against you.
Veronica: Look, we're doing the best we can, okay?
Nick: Law's the only way we're gonna bring them to justice, LJ.
LJ: They g*n my mother down, man. You think I give a damn about justice? I want them! I wanna do to them what they did to me.
Veronica: Come on, LJ.
Nick: It's for the courts to decide, not us.
Veronica: Look, they're gonna slip up, okay? They're gonna leave a piece of evidence that can't be refuted and we're gonna be waiting to nail them when they do.
Nick: Maybe they already slipped up. Up at the cabin, at the well.
Veronica: Quinn.
[11. EXT. The well. Day.]
Nick: Somebody covered it up.
Veronica: They must have come and gotten him.
Nick: There's only one way to find out.
(He bends down and moves the wooden board. The d*ad body of Quinn is still down there, his hand holding his cell phone.)
Veronica: Look. There's his cell phone.
(Both of them turn to look at LJ.)
[12. INT. Well. Day.]
(LJ is being lowered into the well with a rope. He keeps his feet on the wall.)
LJ: Easy...Okay, a little lower. A little more.
(He reaches down and grabs the cell phone.)
LJ: Okay, I got it.
(He looks at the wall and stops in shock. Chalked onto the wall it: Kellerman, O.Kravecki.)
Veronica: You okay?
LJ: Yeah, I'm fine.
(He looks over at the names again.)
LJ: Pull me up.
[13. INT. Pope's office. Day.]
(Michael is escorted in by Geary.)
Pope: Would you give us a minute, Geary?
(Geary leaves the room.)
Pope: Michael, I want you to be absolutely honest with me. Dr. Tancredi found this embedded in your flesh when she was treating you. Apparently it came from a guard's uniform. Have you been as*ault by an officer?
(Michael looks away, knowing he can't answer.)
Pope: Michael. Michael. I need an answer. This is not about sticking to the inmates' code any more. This is about officer misconduct, that's my responsibility. You wouldn't wanna see me lose my job now, would you?
Michael: No, of course not. You have been very good to me and my brother.
Pope: Then I need to know where you got that burn. Right now. Otherwise your ass is going to solitary. You understand? It's your choice.
[14. INT. AD SEG corridor. Day.]
(Two COs drag a madly struggling Michael down the Ad Seg hallway, a third CO leading the way.)
Michael: Don't! Please! Listen to me!
C.O.: Calm down! Calm down!
Michael: Listen to me! Don't do this! Don't do this!
(Lincoln, in his cell, hears the racket and goes to his door. Through the barred window he sees the COs bundling his brother into the next room.)
Lincoln: Michael!
(The three COs throw Michael onto the floor of the cell.)
CUT TO: Lincoln, watching them as they walk away.
CUT TO: Michael, on the floor of his ad seg cell.
CUT TO: Lincoln's cell.
(Lincoln moves to the drain on the floor of his cell and whispers.)
Lincoln: Michael! Michael...
CUT TO: Michael's cell.
(Michael looks around for the source of the sound. He finally notices a small drain.)
Michael: Linc?
Lincoln: What the hell are you doing in here!
Michael: Linc, we're in a lot of trouble now.
Lincoln: What happened?
Michael: Pope asked some questions that I couldn't answer.
Lincoln: About what?
Michael: He's got proof that I was where I wasn't supposed to be. He doesn't know it, but sooner or later, he's going to put the whole thing together. There's no way out of this.
Lincoln: Yeah, there is. You just gotta keep the faith.
Michael: No. I put my blood into this. And it's coming apart.
Lincoln: Listen to me. The whole point of solitary is to break you. Make you crazy. You gotta keep strong. You hear me? Don't let them break you.
Michael (quietly): I put my blood into this.
[15. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(C-Note is on the phone.)
C-Note: Look, baby, I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Turns out that our division is not getting mobilized for a couple more days.
Kacee: When I didn't hear from you, I didn't know what to think, baby. I got so worried. I started watching the news looking for casualties.
C-Note: I'm so sorry about all this. You gotta believe that.
Kacee: I started calling the rear detachment office, asking if there was some sort of problem with the 117th.
(C-Note is shocked and panicked.)
C-Note: No. There's not a problem with the 117th. We're coming back. It's a snafu, that's all. You know, a couple more days and we'll be on those hops, baby.
Kacee: That's not what the rear detachment officer said. He said the 117th wasn't coming home for another six months.
C-Note: What? Um, no, that...That can't be right.
Kacee: That's what he said.
C-Note: Oh, you know what it is? It's because we're transport. Technically, we're on a loan out from the 140th. That's why he said that.
Kacee: The 140th.
C-Note: Yeah. Yeah. It's just a few more days. That's all. You don't need to go callin' anyone. I'll be back, okay? I will call you as soon as I know the exact date. Okay? I love you.
(Kacee doesn't seem to be buying it.)
Kacee: I love you.
[16. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(C-Note walks away from the phone and starts to work.)
Sucre: Michael's in the SHU.
C-Note: God, the hits just keep coming!
Westmoreland: Last thing we wanna do now is panic, fellas.
T-Bag: Oh, it's panic time, old head. We got an unfinished hole in that room over there Scofield's supposed to fill tonight. Come tomorrow, 8am, they rip up that carpet, our game is over.
Westmoreland: Unless someone else fills it.
(Sucre looks up to find everyone looking at him.)
Sucre (shaking his head): Uh-uh.
C-Note: Sorry, papi, you're the only one with the toilet open to the outside world.
Sucre: You saying I go out there by myself tonight?
C-Note: That's exactly what we're saying.
Sucre: Are you kidding? That's impossible!
C-Note: I don't want to hear 'impossible' from you right now. I got people waiting on me, people that I'm gonna lose unless you man up and get some cojones, comprendez?
Sucre: That's easy for you to say, pendajo, it ain't your ass on the line.
C-Note: All of our asses are on the line. You're the only cat that can do something about it.
Sucre: Yeah, maybe I can get out of my cell, maybe I can get into the guard's room. But even if I do, and I fill that hole in, I'll still be in that room. I'll be sealed in, there's no way out.
C-Note: Scofield must have had a way out.
Westmoreland: He did. The grate at the Sally Port.
Sucre: Oh, that's right, the one out there in the middle of the open?!
C-Note: Yeah, so you'd better lace up, amigo, 'cause you're gonna have to make a run for it.
Sucre: That's ten years on my bid if I get caught!
T-Bag: Then you'd better figure out a way not to get caught.
C.O.: Line it up.
C-Note (to Sucre): Tonight, primo. It's gotta be tonight.
ACT 2.
[Camera pans over Fox River prison.]
[17. INT. Ad Seg. Day.]
(Michael sits by the wall of the small cell, staring, thinking.)
[Flashbacks: the blueprints, layers and layers of them, the pipes system]
Lincoln (o/s): Michael? Are you okay? What you doing?
Michael: Trying to remember what's beneath psych ward.
Lincoln: You're thinking about the wrong thing. You gotta think about how to get out of here.
(Michael runs his hands over his head and notices his sweatshirt. He takes it off and stares at it, then tears it apart using his fists and teeth.)
CUT TO: Lincoln's cell.
(Lincoln can hear what Michael's doing.)
Lincoln: Michael. Man, come on. Talk to me.
(Michael continues ripping the sweatshirt.)
[18. INT. Sucre's cell. Day.]
(Sucre lays on the bunk. He sits up, runs his hands over his head. He walks over to the railing outside his cell and looks down at the inmates on the floor. Annie the tr*nny walks through them. Sucre smiles.)
[19. INT.T-Bag's cell. Day.]
T-Bag: Uh-uh. Absolutely not.
Sucre: If I'm gonna be the one doing that run then you've gotta do some lifting too.
(T-Bag falls onto his lower bunk, pouting.)
T-Bag: I mean, you know what you're asking of me?
Sucre: You gotta do it for the team.
[20. A-Wing cell block. Day.]
(Annie the tr*nny continues to walk around. This time, T-Bag is close on his heels. He reaches out and snaps the back of Annie's exposed panties.)
T-Bag: Sister, your bloomers are showing.
Annie: They aren't showing, baby, they're flying. Proudly.
(T-Bag shoves him against a cell.)
T-Bag: I take it you are a party girl.
[Camera sh*t of the car outside the cabin in New Glarus.]
[21. INT. Cabin. Day.]
(LJ washes his hands. His eyes fall on the end cupboard on the wall. He opens it, revealing Nick's father's g*n collection. He closes the door just as Veronica walks in.)
Veronica: LJ, come on, we're leaving.
LJ: Okay.
(She walks out. LJ looks at the cupboard.)
[22. EXT. Cabin. Day.]
(Veronica gets into the car with Nick.)
Nick: If we get Quinn's phone powered up, it could be a gold mine of information. Nope, doesn't fit.
Veronica: We just need to find the right adaptor. What about Quinn? Are we just gonna leave him here?
Nick: You mean the guy who sh*t me in the back? Yeah, we're just gonna leave him here.
[Camera sh*t of watch tower - day.]
[23. INT. A-Wing cell block. Day.]
(T-Bag walks along the upper tier towards Sucre's cell. He rattles the cell door bars, and Sucre stands up. T-Bag hands him something o/s.)
T-Bag (whispers): You tell anyone about this, and I'll...
(He points at him, then walks on. Sucre smiles to himself.)
[24. INT. Bar. Night.]
Television Reporter: Capitol Hill saw its first deadlock on the senate floor this morning. The hotly contested energy bill ended up in a 50-50 tie. It will now be up to Vice President Reynolds to cast the deciding vote.
(Camera pans out to reveal Sara sitting with Nurse Katie.)
Katie: I know I sound like a broken record, but you work too hard. You need to get out, hang out with your friends more. What about men?
Sara: If this is your expose on my social life, it's about to be a real sad one. I, uh...I've had some bad luck when it comes to relationships.
Katie: You had bad luck or you had bad boys?
Sara: I think I've managed to have a little of both. Yeah, you know, you're right. I don't tend to go for the nice guys. I like the ones with the deep-seated emotional issues I can internalize and make my own.
Katie: Like Scofield?
Sara: No, not like Scofield.
Katie: Don't lie to me. Every time he comes in for his sh*t, you spend 20 minutes rolling up his sleeve.
Sara: You know what? I think he's interesting. And I think he's attractive, but he's still an inmate. I can promise you one thing, and that's that you will never see anything happen between me and an inmate.
[25. INT. Michael's ad seg cell. Night.]
(Michael sits on the floor, looking over the scattered mess of cloth strips he has arranged on the floor.)
[Flashbacks: The blueprints of the route underneath Fox River Asylum, the pipe system, different sh*ts of the blueprints.]
(Frustrated, he swings his hands about, scattering the cloth. He stops when his hand is gashed open. Blood trickles down his wrist.)
CUT TO: Lincoln in the next ad seg cell. He moves his mouth to the drain on the floor.
Lincoln: Michael.
CUT TO: Michael.
Michael (whispering): I put my blood into this.
CUT TO: Lincoln: What? What did you say?
CUT TO: Michael: I put my blood into this.
CUT TO: Lincoln, looking confused and worried.
CUT TO: Michael. He begins to punch the wall of the cell, over and over again.
[Camera sh*t of the full moon the night sky.]
[26. INT. Sucre's cell. Night.]
(Sucre puts on his hat, and unscrews the toilet from the wall. He enters the catwalks and pulls the toilet back behind him.)
[27. INT. Pipe system. Night.]
(Sucre navigates the pipes until he reaches underneath the guards' break room.)
[28. INT. Break room. Night.]
(Sucre comes up underneath the table. He quickly moves the table aside, takes off his jacket and starts mixing cement. He is just filling the hole when he hears a guard's radio.)
CUT TO: Stolte, walking outside.
CUT TO: Sucre. He panics and knocks over a bucket.
CUT TO: Stolte. He hears the noise and stops.
CUT TO: Sucre, hurriedly filling the hole.
CUT TO: Stolte, walking to the break room door.
CUT TO: Sucre, putting on his jacket.
[29. INT. Storage area. Night.]
(Stolte opens the door to the outer storage area. He walks slowly towards the break room door. He opens it and walks inside.)
(As he walks inside, camera pans in on Sucre who is in the outer storage area, hiding.)
(Stolte shines his flash light around the break room. He picks out the bucket on the floor. Satisfied, Stolte turns and leaves. Sucre breathes a sigh of relief.)
[30. EXT. Prison yard. Night.]
(Sucre exits the storage area and sprints to the corner of the building. He looks round the yard, then makes a dash for the sewerage grate. Just as he is about to get there, the flood lights slam on and an alarm sounds. A CO spots him.)
C.O.: STOP! Freeze right there! Get down on your knees!
(Sucre puts his hands up and drops to his knees.)
Sucre: Please don't sh**t! Don't sh**t!
(Two COs bundle him to the ground and cuff him.)
ACT 3.
[31. INT. Bellick's office. Night.]
Bellick: You know, the state of Illinois doesn't look too kindly upon prisoners who try to escape. Charges are filed, you get sent back to County for three months. Come back here with ten more years added to your bid.
Sucre: I wasn't trying to escape.
Bellick: Sure you weren't. You were just out there howling at the moon.
(Bellick suddenly launches for him, grabbing his throat and shoving him against the wall.)
Bellick: If I were you, I'd better start talking, mano.
Sucre: I stayed out after yard today. I waited under the bleachers until it got dark. Something was gonna come over the walls.
Bellick: Drugs is almost as bad as escape. Last guy who had heroin slingshot over the wall got a nickel added to his bid.
Sucre: It wasn't drugs.
Bellick: Then what the hell was it?!
(He throws Sucre over to another CO.)
Bellick: Frisk him!
(The CO finds something wrapped up in Sucre's sock. He gives it to Bellick.)
Bellick: What do we have here?
(He opens the package and holds up the panties that Annie the tr*nny was wearing earlier.)
Bellick: A pair of grunds? You risked going to the SHU for a pair of grunds? Hell. You risked adding extra time to your bid all for a pair of panties?
Sucre: My girl just wanted me to know she was thinking about me, boss.
(Bellick opens the panties out: they are quite large.)
Bellick: You got a real beefer on your hands, don'cha?
Sucre: I know, boss. It's the dumbest thing I've ever done. I'm just scared that being here, I'm gonna lose her.
Bellick (to the CO): He did it for love.
Sucre: You understand?
Bellick: Yeah, sure, Sucre. I understand.
(He runs the panties under his nose.)
[32. INT. Ad Seg. Night.]
(Two COs throw Sucre into an Ad Seg cell. Sucre looks out his barred window.)
Sucre: Don't let me catch you alone next time, okay?
CUT TO: Lincoln looks out of his barred window.
Lincoln: Sucre?
Sucre: Sink?
CUT TO: Lincoln walks to his drain.
Lincoln: Sucre?
CUT TO: Sucre finds the source of sound and walks to his drain.
Sucre: Where's Michael?
Lincoln: Other side of you.
(Sucre goes to his wall and slaps it.)
Sucre: Michael? Michael?
CUT TO: Lincoln goes to his barred window on the door.
Lincoln: Michael!
CUT TO: Sucre: Michael! Michael! (he bangs on the wall.)
CUT TO: Lincoln goes to the drain.
Lincoln: Michael, come on.
(He goes to his door again.)
Lincoln: Badge! Badge!
(A CO appears.)
C.O.: Yeah?
Lincoln: Check on my brother. He's not responding.
C.O.: What?
Lincoln: Scofield. Check him out. He's not responding. Please!
(The CO goes over to Michael's cell and opens a hatch about knee height.)
C.O.: Scofield.
(He flicks on a small flash light.)
C.O.: Scofield.
(He shines the flash light into the cell and is shocked.)
C.O. (on his radio): I need a medic in here now, I repeat, now!
Lincoln: What?
[33. INT. Nick's apartment. Night.]
(Nick puts the telephone down. He's been trying to find a charger that will work with Quinn's phone.)
Nick: Electronic store on Eighth Avenue. Grab his phone. (to LJ) We'll be back in ten minutes. Stay on the couch.
(As soon as the door shuts after Nick and Veronica, LJ jumps up. He goes over to the laptop, and types in O. Kravecki and Chicago into a search.)
(The search returns: Owen Kravecki, 226 High Point Blvd, Chicago, IL, 60607. 312-555-0167. LJ picks up the telephone and dials the number.)
CUT TO: An apartment, where a telephone rings. The receiver handle is wrapped in plastic. Camera moves to show a fish t*nk with a couple of goldfish in it. The telephone continues to ring until an answerphone cuts in.
Answerphone: Hi, you've reached Owen Kravecki. I can't come to the phone right now.
[Flashback: Kellerman: You really think you're gonna get to four buttons before I get to one?]
Answerphone: Leave a message and I'll return your call. Thanks. Have a great day.
(LJ looks shocked as he realizes Owen Kravecki is Agent Kellerman. He replaces the receiver.)
[34. INT. Michael's ad seg cell. Night.]
(The CO opens the door and lets Sara in.)
C.O.: (into his radio) Light on 12.
(Sara walks in slowly, staring at Michael who is crouched on the floor holding his injured hand. She looks at the blood smeared on the wall.)
Sara (to CO): Would you wait outside please?
(The CO closes the door.)
Sara: Michael.
(Michael doesn't respond.)
Sara: Okay, you're gonna feel my fingers on your wrist.
(She stares at the maze of bloody lines on the wall.)
Sara: Come on, I need your eyes.
(She raises Michael's head gently and moves her flashlight across his eyes. Still no response.)
Sara: I'm gonna take a look at that hand.
(Michael leans forward slowly to rest his head on her leg.)
Sara: You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.
[35. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Tweener digs quietly near a fence, keeping an eye on Westmoreland. Westmoreland walks over to C-Note.)
Westmoreland: Sucre got...
C-Note: I heard. Papi better had did us right, man.
Westmoreland: I hope he had enough time.
T-Bag: Looks like we're about to find out.
(He points over at the break room as a carpet fitters truck pulls up.)
(The PI crew watch the truck. Tweener watches them suspiciously.)
[36. EXT. Street. Day.]
(Kellerman is talking on his cell phone.)
Caroline Reynolds (o/s): Make it fast.
Kellerman: I thought we picked Lincoln Burrows off the street 'cause he was some lowlife who couldn't defend himself. Now I learn it's all about his father, some old spook The Company's trying to settle a score with?
CUT TO: Caroline: Well, fortunately for us, The Company's agenda and our agenda have the same endgame.
Kellerman: Caroline, I've been doing this for 15 years and it's never been about anything other than you, your family and most importantly, this country. Now I need to know who I'm working for here.
Caroline: You are working for me.
Kellerman: Promise me, that.
CUT TO: Caroline's office. Agent Brinker is shown in by an aide.
Caroline: I promise you, Paul. I gotta go now.
[37. INT. Caroline's office. Day.]
Caroline: And to what do I owe this honour?
Brinker: To the vote on the senate floor this afternoon.
Caroline: Look, I get it. The vote comes down to me. I vote no, it'll get done.
Brinker: Well, actually, we are going to need you to vote yes on this one.
Caroline: I...I...want to make sure I heard you straight. You want me to vote on the environmentalists' side?
Brinker: This isn't about the vote. This is about you, and how you look to voters. Now, we have a nation that is growing increasingly hungry for altered energy. So if you come across as more centrist, you'll appeal to the broader swath of the electorate, the very people who will get you elected next year. Besides, once that bill hits the president's desk, he will veto it. Then we'll get precisely what we always wanted anyway. Won't we?
[38. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Avocado walks up opposite Tweener, on the other side of the fence.)
Avocado: You probably don't have a hair on your body, do you?
Tweener: Just back your punk ass up.
Bellick: Hey, Tweener. Get over here.
(Tweener walks over to Bellick, ignoring T-Bag and the rest of the PI crew who are watching him.)
Bellick: Looks like Avocado's taken a shine to you. I can set you up as cellies, if you want?
Tweener: Stop it, a'ight? I got somethin' for ya this time. Scofield and his boys, they're up to somethin'.
Bellick: How about being a little more specific?
Tweener: Whatever it is, it's gotta deal with that room they're fixin'. Somethin' to do with the carpet.
(Bellick walks away from him. Tweener doesn't look happy.)
[39. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Two carpet fitters are measuring up the room. Bellick walks in.)
Bellick: Excuse me, fellas. Out of the way!
(The carpet fitters exit. Bellick throws the table aside and rips up the carpet. He walks over the floor, looking for any signs of tampering.)
[40. INT. Ad Seg. Day.]
(Sucre and Lincoln sit quietly in their separate cells. A buzzer sounds. They both hurry to their doors. Warden Pope and Sara hurry into Michael's cell.)
(Michael is lying on the floor, his hand bandaged. There is no response from him. Pope looks at Sara.)
Lincoln: Michael! Michael? Michael!
(A CO slams the outer door of Lincoln's cell shut to quieten him down.)
(Camera zooms in to Michael's wide open, non responsive eye.)
ACT 4.
[41. EXT. Street. Day.]
(LJ looks down at a note with Kravecki/Kellerman's address on it.)
(He walks up to the house and looks in the front window. He tries the front door but its locked.)
(LJ moves around to the back door. It's also locked. Across the way, unbeknownst to LJ, an old woman is hanging out her washing. LJ smashes a pane of glass with the handle of a g*n and lets himself in.)
[42. INT. Psych Ward. Day.]
(Michael sits quietly by Sara speaks to the woman on Admittance.)
Sara: He's totally nonresponsive, so start him on corpromazine. He's in danger of a psychotic break. I want you to notify me immediately if and when that happens. Thank you.
Orderly: All right, come on.
(The orderly lifts Michael to his feet.)
Orderly: Come this way. Here we go. Watch your step.
(The orderly hands Michael to another orderly. Michael is buzzed through a gate and the second orderly takes his arm.)
Orderly#1: Clean him up.
(Sara walks to the gate and watches him walk away.
[43. INT. Kellerman's house. Day.]
(LJ picks up a pack of buffalo jerky from a box full of them. He replaces it and walks into the living room. He looks at a pile of mail, all addressed to Owen Kravecki. Suddenly he looks out the window: Kellerman is coming to the front door. LJ runs.)
(Kellerman enters the house, a pile of mail in his mouth. He walks in, puts his briefcase down and begins to look through the mail, adding them to the pile that was already there. Suddenly he hears the click of a g*n and turns around. LJ is pointing the g*n he took from Nick's cabin at him.)
Kellerman: You scared me. Put it down. You're not a k*ller. You don't wanna make any rash mistakes here, LJ.
(LJ fires the g*n, hitting Kellerman in the neck. Kellerman falls to the floor with a moan of pain.)
LJ: Don't move!
Kellerman: Go easy. Go easy.
LJ: Shut up!
Kellerman: LJ, there's other ways out of this, you know. Okay? I can help you b*at this rap, but if you pull that trigger, you really will be a k*ller and then I can't help you. Okay? I'm government, LJ. There's a lot of things I can do for you.
(A car screeches to a halt outside.)
LJ: The only thing you can do for me is die!
(A police officer outside draws his g*n.)
Officer: Drop your w*apon.
(LJ freezes, unsure what to do.)
Officer: I said drop your w*apon!
Kellerman: Guess you're gonna have to take a rain check on that one. Huh?
(The officers slowly approach the house.)
Officer: Drop the g*n, now!
(LJ holds up his hands and drops the g*n. Kellerman relaxes, sitting on the floor.)
[44. INT. A-Wing cell block. Day.]
(Bellick marches Tweener, holding his possessions, up the stairs to the upper tier.)
Tweener: No. I did what you said.
Bellick: You brought me a pile of crap. There was nothing there.
Tweener: Boss, come on, man. I just need some more time.
Bellick: You had your time. You're a waste of my fries. (shouts) Open on 88!
(The cell door to 88 opens. Avocado sits up on his bunk.)
Tweener: Boss, come on, man! Dude, just give me another try.
(Bellick advances on him, forcing Tweener to reluctantly step back into the cell.)
Bellick: Close on 88!
Tweener: Boss...
Bellick: Have at it.
Tweener: Boss...
(Bellick is already walking away. Tweener looks up at Avocado, who towers over him, in terror.)
Tweener (almost crying): Boss!
[45. INT. Kellerman's house. Day.]
(LJ, handcuffed, is put into the back of a police car outside. Kellerman sits on his couch, tending to his bleeding neck.)
Officer: You're lucky. Kid's got a warrant for a double homicide.
Kellerman: Are you serious?
Officer: Any prior contact with him? Any idea why he chose your house?
Kellerman: None. He screamed something like, 'You k*lled my mom'. Going on about me being a government agent. And...it seemed like that kid was on drugs or something.
Officer: What do you do for a living, Mr. Kravecki?
Kellerman: I'm a regional sales manager for a dehydrated meat distributor.
Officer: What, you mean like jerky?
Kellerman: Yes. Are you a fan?
Officer: What kind?
Kellerman: Buffalo.
(He reaches into a box and pulls several packets out.)
Kellerman: Have some. Really. I'm swimming in the stuff.
(He turns and looks at LJ sitting in the back of the patrol car.)
[46. INT. Psych Ward. Day.]
(An orderly sits Michael, now wearing white prison clothes, onto a chair.)
Orderly: One hour till lunch.
(As the soon as the orderly leaves, Michael's eyes, previously wide and staring, flick to Haywire.)
[Flashbacks:]
Michael in the yard with Abruzzi.
Abruzzi: So what's the problem?
Michael: You're looking at him.
Abruzzi: What, Haywire?
Michael: Yep. He's my new cellmate.
Flashback: Haywire in Michael's cell.
Haywire: They think I have schizo-affective disorder with bipolar tendencies.
[End Flashbacks.]
(Michael walks over to sit opposite Haywire, who is staring into space, clasping his hands together.)
[Flashbacks:]
Haywire: Your tattoos.
Michael: What about them?
Haywire: What are they of?
Michael: They're just tattoos.
[Various flashbacks of Haywire's exposure to Michael's tattoos.]
Haywire: Man's got a maze on his skin. Why would he do that? Why would he put a maze on his skin?
[Haywire draws Michael's tattoos in his notebook.]
Haywire: It's a pathway. Where does it lead?
[End Flashbacks.]
(Michael sits opposite Haywire.)
Michael: Hello, roomie. You were right about my tattoo. It is a path, just like you thought. And I need you to remember when you saw it, Haywire. I need you to remember what it looked like. Do you think you can do that for me?
(Haywire pauses, then looks quizzically at Michael.)
Haywire: Who are you?
(Michael looks concerned and slightly worried.)
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x17 - J-Cat"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
(Michael sits opposite Haywire in the Psych Ward day room, in a straight continuation from the final scene of the previous episode. Haywire is heavily medicated and confused.)
Michael: Scofield. Michael Scofield.
Haywire: Doesn't ring a bell.
Michael: We met a while ago, in Gen Pop. Cell 40.
Haywire: Gen Pop...
Michael: General Population. Officer Bellick assigned you to my cell. I have a tattoo. You drew it. Haywire, do I look even vaguely familiar to you?
(Haywire moves in close to Michael's face, studying him.)
Haywire: Are you the guy who stole my toothpaste?
(Michael smiles at the breakthrough.)
Michael: Yes. Yes. I stole your toothpaste. So you do remember.
Nurse: Candy Man. (to Haywire) Mr. Patoshik.
(Haywire takes his meds, crushes the cup and throws it on the nurse's tray.)
Nurse: Mr. Scofield.
Michael: No, thank you.
Nurse: Medication is mandatory. It's just a mild sedative prescribed by Dr. Tancredi. Come on.
Michael: Then I'll talk to her directly. I'm feeling better.
Nurse: Oh, really? That's great. Now take the pill.
Haywire: Take 'em. They're good.
Michael: I'm fine, thank you.
Nurse (yelling): Carter! Could you come here a sec?
[1. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Geary is making the bunks up. Bellick stands outside.)
Geary: Scofield went j-cat?
Bellick: Sure did. I saw it coming too. I knew he was gonna crack first time I saw him.
Geary: So he's not coming back here?
Bellick: Doubt it. They got him in the whack shack.
Geary: What about Sucre?
Bellick: He's in Ad Seg. Why?
Geary: Middle cell, middle tier. Prime piece of real estate. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Bellick: Maybe.
Geary: We promise to keep it a single for a couple of months. Auction it off.
Bellick: Make it happen.
[2. INT. Psych Ward day room. Day.]
(Michael sits while one orderly holds his shoulder thr*at, and another stands in front of him holding the pill cup.)
Michael: I don't need medication.
Orderly: Swallow it. Or it's going in the rear door.
(Michael reluctantly takes the cup, puts the pill in his mouth and screws it up.)
Orderly: All gone?
(The second orderly pulls his mouth open.)
Orderly: Thanks.
(When the orderlies are gone, Michael takes the pill out of his mouth and throws it away. He walks over to Haywire.)
Michael: You were right, Haywire. I did steal your toothpaste. And you drew that tattoo from memory. And I need you to do it again.
(Haywire turns slowly towards him, his eyes roll, and he remains silent in a drug-induced haze. Michael sighs, frustrated.)
[3. INT. Outside Michael's cell. Day.]
Geary: Middle cell. Cool in the summer, warm in the winter.
(A heavy-set inmate is inside, looking around.)
Inmate: How much you asking?
Geary: How much you got?
Inmate: $200. We got a deal?
Geary: Deal. Now, get your ass outta here and I'll put in the transfer.
(The inmate is about to leave when he stops.)
Inmate: Hey, man. The toilet's leakin'. Look, it's drippin'.
Geary: I'll put in a work order. It'll be replaced in 24 hours.
Inmate: You got it, boss.
(He walks out, past T-Bag who is waiting outside.)
T-Bag: I heard you was moving some real estate.
Geary: Already been moved.
T-Bag: Ain't that Scofield's cell?
Geary: Not any more. (yells) Close on 40.
(The cell door shuts. T-Bag watches the water dripping down from the toilet onto the cell floor.)
OPENING CREDITS.
[4. INT. Westmoreland's cell. Day.]
(Westmoreland looks at a picture of a baby girl in an old gold pocket watch.)
C-Note: Is that your daughter?
Westmoreland: My wife gave me this when she was born.
(He shows it to C-Note. C-Note smiles.)
Westmoreland: Outliving your wife is bad enough. But outliving your daughter? No man should have to endure that.
C-Note: How long does she have?
Westmoreland: Hospital says a week. Maybe two.
(T-Bag knocks on the cell bars.)
T-Bag: We got us a problem. Mojo's moving into Scofield's cell. And that ain't all. He was bitchin' about the toilet so Geary's putting in a work order. They move that toilet...
Westmoreland: They find the hole.
T-Bag: We are all screwed.
C-Note: How much did Mojo promise?
T-Bag: $200.
C-Note: Oh, gomer. See, you had me scared there for a second.
(As they all file outside, C-Note moves over to Geary.)
C-Note: Hey, I hear you got a cell.
Geary: Not any more. And if you were smart, you'd keep quiet about that.
C-Note: Look, I'll double what you're getting.
Geary: I'm getting $250.
C-Note: $500? Ain't a problem.
Geary: I ain't talking cigarettes and extra charline desserts here. I'm talking green paper with d*ad white guys on it.
C-Note: I said it ain't a problem.
[5. INT. Psych Ward. Day.]
(Michael rolls some clay at a table. He watches Haywire, who is standing by the window with some clay of his own in his hand. When the orderly leaves the room, Michael walks across to Haywire.)
Michael: Come on.
(He begins to lead him away.)
Haywire: Where?
Michael: It's a surprise.
(He guides Haywire into a supply room.)
[6. INT. Supply room. Day.]
(Michael lightly shoves Haywire into the room.)
Haywire: I don't wear a diaper.
Michael: I never said you did.
Haywire: Then...what are you doing?
Michael: You've got something in your teeth.
Haywire: What?
(Michael looks at Haywire's mouth, reaching his fingers up to it.)
Michael: Oh yeah, right there.
Haywire: I don't...
Michael: It's right there in the back.
(He shoves his fingers down Haywire's throat. Haywire gags.)
Michael: Come on...
(Haywire leans to the side and vomits.)
Haywire: Why are you doing this?
[Camera sh*t of the pills in the vomit.]
Michael: I am helping you. Remember what you used to call those little pills? Invisible handcuffs. Handcuffs on your mind. You hate them. Remember?
(Haywire walks out of the room.)
[7. INT. Lincoln's Ad Seg Cell. Day.]
(CO JJ opens the cell door.)
C.O.: You got a phone call.
Lincoln: Who is it?
C.O.: Your son. It's an emergency.
[8. INT. Ad Seg corridor. Day.]
Lincoln (on the telephone): Oh, LJ. What were thinking, kid?
LJ: I don't care what happens to me anymore. Okay? They won. They'll always win.
[Camera sh*t of a police station exterior - day.]
CUT TO: LJ, pacing in the Attorney-Client room.
LJ: I just wanted to take one of them down with me.
CUT TO: Lincoln: Put Veronica back on.
(LJ rolls his eyes and tosses the phone on the desk next to Veronica.)
Veronica: Lincoln?
Lincoln: What are the charges?
Veronica: Attempted m*rder. He's also being arraigned for the m*rder of his mother and his stepfather.
Lincoln: I guess bail's out of the question.
Veronica: Exactly.
Lincoln: Anything you can do?
Veronica: Right now, his only sh*t is if we can get him tried as a minor. But he needs to show some remorse. I need to sell to the court that he was just a scared kid, but where his head's at right now he won't listen to me.
Lincoln: He'll listen to me. I need to see him.
Veronica: Lincoln, there's no way.
Lincoln: He gets tried as an adult, he may as well sit in my lap in the chair. You gotta do something, Veronica.
Veronica: Okay. I'll petition the DOC, but it's a million to one sh*t they're gonna let you out to see him.
Lincoln: All right.
[9. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(C-Note walks up to an inmate standing in a big group of black inmates.)
C-Note: Yo, Trumpets. Y'all gotta round up. All outstanding debts are due ASAP. Right?
Trumpets: Do it right now?
C-Note: Like yesterday, all right?
Trumpets: I'll put it out there.
C-Note: Good.
(They bump fists.)
[10. EXT. Street. Day.]
(Kellerman is driving in his car. At a red light he leans over and looks at the g*n wound behind the bandage on his neck. The light turns green and he heads down the street, when suddenly he is surrounded by several black SUVs.)
(Kellerman gets out of his car to face Agent Brinker, who has got out of hers. Other agents also surround him.)
Kellerman: Are you insane?
Brinker: You are done, bodyguard. Lincoln's son, a 16-year-old pothead, managed to track you down and sh**t you. You are now a witness in his criminal investigation.
Kellerman: I can still do my job.
Brinker: You are not to make a move on Burrows under any circumstance. We make that call.
Kellerman: You know what, Trixie? There are actually higher agendas here.
Brinker: Yes, there are. And they don't belong to you. Paul Kellerman no longer works for the Secret Service. You're just good old Owen Kravecki from now on. Have I made myself clear?
[11. INT. Psych Ward. Day.]
(Haywire watches a documentary about penguins. Michael snaps his fingers in front of Haywire's face.)
Michael: Hey.
(Haywire slowly turns to face Michael.)
Michael: I need you to focus. I need you to remember what you drew.
(Haywire blankly stares at him. Michael sighs, get up and walks across the room. An orderly comes in.)
Orderly: Haywire. Time for group. Come on, buddy. Let's go.
Haywire (whispers): It's a path.
Michael: Yes. It is a path.
Orderly: Let's go.
[12. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(C-Note is leaning against the wall. Trumpets and several other black inmates walk over; C-Note follows them to a secluded area of the yard.)
C-Note: So what's up, man?
Trumpets: Here's the thing. You got nothing coming. All your outstanding markers, they're mine now.
C-Note: Is that so?
Trumpets: You got a problem with it, go cry to your new crew - T-Bag and the white boys.
(The black inmates are surrounding C-Note thr*at.)
C-Note: Oh, okay, so that's what this is all about.
Trumpets: This is about staying true to your own.
[Camera sh*t of one of the guys putting batteries in a sock.]
C-Note: You know what, man? I can have tea with the grand wizard of the KKK if I want, and I still get my money. You got that, little boy?
Trumpets: No. We don't got that. Now, out of respect for what you once were, I'm gonna let you walk away.
C-Note: Uh huh...
(He turns around as if to leave, then hauls off and punches Trumpets in the face. The other inmates jump on C-Note, hitting him with the sock of batteries and kicking him while he's down.)
ACT 2.
[13. INT. Psych Ward. Day.]
(An orderly walks around with a tray of medications. Michael watches Haywire swallow his, frustratedly. He pretends to take his own, but takes it out and puts it in his pocket. Haywire gets up and walks over to the supply room. Michael follows.)
[14. INT. Supply room. Day.]
(Haywire vomits his pills up. Michael closes the door.)
Haywire: You were right. The pills don't let me see the pathway.
(He turns to Michael. Michael has undone the top half of his white jumpsuit. He shows Haywire his arm tattoos.)
Haywire: It's a pathway to hell.
Michael: No, it's not. It's just the opposite.
(Haywire approaches Michael slowly, reaching out as if to touch the tattoos.)
Haywire: I remember.
[15. INT. Chow room. Day.]
(C-Note slowly inches towards a table where Westmoreland and T-Bag are sitting, carrying his lunch tray. He holds his back, and his face is bruised.)
T-Bag: Whoo! Looks like the Bank of Africa wasn't allowing any withdrawals.
C-Note: Look, we are gonna have to find another way to get that money, okay?
T-Bag: Well, I reckon that ain't too much of a problem for our friend here to rummage up. Ain't that so, DB?
Westmoreland: A, I'm not DB Cooper. And B, there's no visitation today. Which means that none of us can get any money from the outside world.
(C-Note sighs, frustrated.)
T-Bag: I guess that only leaves us with one real option. (He looks over at Jesus and his mates.) The Kitchen Game.
C-Note: Gambling. That's your solution.
T-Bag: Ah...son, trust me, when I play cards it ain't gambling. There's maybe five people in this country that can do what I do with a deck of cards.
Westmoreland: So why are you just bringing this up now?
T-Bag: 'Cause if Jesus over there catches you sleeving aces in the Kitchen Game...well, let's just say there are lots of knives handy. Course, you need 50 bucks just for the sit-in and, since we don't have any money, I'd say we're in a Catch-Double-Deuce.
[Camera pans to Westmoreland, who has an idea.]
[16. INT. Psych Ward. Day.]
(Michael pushes Haywire into his cell.)
Michael: You sit right here. Take this. And this.
(He hands him some paper and a pen. Then he turns around, removes the top half of his jump suit and peels off the bandage on his back.)
Haywire: Oh, no...it's gone!
Michael: That's why I need you to fix it. That's why I need you to remember what was there before.
Haywire: This is bad. You can't break a path. Then it doesn't lead anywhere.
Michael: That's right. That's why I need you to remember what was there before it was broken.
Haywire: I remember...I remember the demons. Or maybe they were pilgrims. They were pointing the way, they were saying 'This is the way', 'This is the way'.
(Michael sighs.)
Haywire: I can't see it. I can see it, but I can't see it.
(Manche passes the room with his laundry trolley.)
Michael: I'll be right back.
[17. INT. Psych Ward corridor. Day.]
Michael: Hey!
(Manche comes over to him.)
Michael: I need you to give Sucre a message.
(Manche nods.)
Michael: Tell him I'm okay, and that I'm trying to fill in the blanks. He'll know what that means.
Manche: You're trying to fill in the blanks?
Michael: Just do it. Please.
(He looks back at Haywire. He is scribbling furiously on the paper. Michael smiles. But Manche is still lingering in the doorway and sees the burn on Michael's back. He looks shocked.)
[Flashback: Manche holds up the burnt guards' uniform.]
Manche: What the hell am I gonna do now?
[End Flashback.]
(Manche watches Michael walk over to Haywire, then walks away.)
[18. INT. Cell block. Day.]
Geary: You've been down in 13 for as long as I can remember. Why the sudden interest in moving?
Westmoreland: Second-storey units like this don't come on the market too much. I figure since I'm getting on in age, maybe it's time I retired in comfort.
Geary: Open on 40!
(The cell door slides open, and Westmoreland enters.)
Geary: Make it quick.
(Westmoreland walks in and sees a bible on the side.)
[Flashback: Westmoreland hands Michael the bible in Chapel. Michael looks at the bible to see a $100 bill sticking out of it.]
Geary: Hey, Bob Vila. It's a cell. Quit kicking the tyres and make a decision.
Westmoreland: I'll give you a hundred bucks for it.
Geary: You wasted my time. Get the hell out of here.
Westmoreland: Sorry, boss. I thought it was a good bid.
Geary (o/s): Close on 40.
[Camera shows that the bible is now gone from the cell desk.]
[19. INT. Cell block. Day.]
(Westmoreland walks to T-Bag's cell and hands him the bible. T-Bag takes out the $100 bill.)
T-Bag: Hello, Benjamin. Now let me see, minted in 19 and...72.
Westmoreland: That's your buy-in. The rest is up to you.
(He walks away.)
T-Bag: Hot damn.
(T-Bag inches across to C-Note, further down the cells.)
T-Bag: Psst.
C-Note: Keep walkin', peckerwood.
T-Bag: Got the buy-in for the card game.
C-Note: Go get our money, boy.
T-Bag: Unfortunately, you and I will are gonna have to be partners in this endeavor.
C-Note: Oh, hell, no. I don't play cards, I'm a dice man.
[Camera sh*t of Trumpets and a couple of his mates standing on the stairs watching them.]
T-Bag: Look, all you need to know is this - every time I deal, you bet big and never fold. See, if I'm winning every time I deal, I end up with a Colombian necktie. You know what I'm saying? But if you're the one raking in all the cash, well, I seriously doubt anyone would ever think you and I are working together.
[20. INT. Electronics store. Day.]
(Nick approaches the desk.)
Nick: Excuse me. I've been all over town, I can't find a charger for this.
Assistant: Let me check.
Nick: Thanks.
(He walks over to look on a revolving display rack and is approached by an older, smartly dressed man in a trenchcoat.)
Trenchcoat: How you doin', Savrinn? Where's your girl?
Nick: She's doing her job, right? Filing petition down at the court. She'll...she'll be at my place in about an hour.
Trenchcoat: See, that was easy. I shouldn't have to chase you down to get that information.
Nick: Why don't you just take a step back?
Trenchcoat: And why don't you remember who you're talking to, who I work for?
(He grabs Nick by the scruff of his neck.)
Trenchcoat: You need to keep an eye on Veronica Donovan. Not some of the time. All of the time. 'Cause pretty soon we're gonna call in our favour. Unless you wanna go back on our deal.
Nick: No.
Trenchcoat: Good. I'll be in touch.
[21. INT. Psych Ward. Day.]
(Michael approaches Haywire.)
Michael: Haywire.
(Haywire doesn't respond.)
Michael: Haywire.
(He moves Haywire's chin to face him.)
Michael: Did you take your meds?
(Still no response. Michael lifts him out of the chair.)
Michael: Come on. You got something in your teeth again.
[22. INT. Supply room. Day.]
(Michael shuts the door behind them but as soon as he does, Haywire grips his jumpsuit and shoves him against the wall.)
Haywire: You should be careful when you tell people to remember things, Michael. Because I remember everything now. I remember how you set me up! How you smashed your own head and had me sent back here. I also remember this...
(He takes out a drawing from his pocket and unfolds it.)
Haywire: The pathway. Your map. (whispers) Your escape.
Michael: Give me that.
(Michael lunges for the paper but Haywire steps back and begins to rip it.)
Michael: Don't. Don't.
Haywire: Now...do I tear this up...or do you tell me exactly where and when you're doing this?
(Michael stares at him. Haywire rips the paper a bit more.)
ACT 3.
[23. INT. Psych Ward cell. Day.]
Michael (whispers): It starts in the basement.
Haywire: Okay.
Michael: This line leads from the hatch in the coal room, to this pipe system here and that runs to the infirmary. That's how we'll get out. I just need to get out of psych ward to set things up. But three days after I'm gone, I'll come back up through the basement and get you out.
Haywire: You're just telling me what I wanna hear.
Michael: No, I'm not. I need you to let me get us out of here. I need you to trust me.
(Michael holds his hand out for the map. Haywire hesitates, then hands it to him.)
Haywire: If you try to screw me over again, I'll k*ll you.
[24. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
(Nick sits on the couch, staring. Veronica comes in.)
Veronica: Hey.
Nick: Hey. How'd it go?
Veronica: Filing the petition was easy. Getting it approved, that's a whole nother story. You found the charger?
Nick: Oh, yeah.
Veronica: Why didn't you plug it in?
Nick: Oh, I was just, uh...just thinking for a minute.
Veronica: About what?
Nick: Nothing.
(Veronica plugs it in and flips Quinn's cell phone open.)
Veronica: We're in business.
Nick: What is it?
Veronica: His entire phone book is still in here. 322 numbers.
[25. INT. Fox River Kitchen. Day.]
(An inmate furtively hands a CO on duty in the kitchen some notes. The CO opens the door allowing him and his friend through to the kitchen. They walk right through to the back.)
(In the unguarded storage pantry, several inmates are sat round a table playing cards, including Jesus, C-Note and T-Bag, a Chinese inmate Pao and an old African-American inmate Zach.)
Jesus: No open seats. Gotta wait. C-Note! Crap or get off the pot.
C-Note: I'm thinkin'.
T-Bag: We ain't bettin' on CPT here, man. Either you gonna see his bet or you go outside and Million Con March or whatever your people do. Either way, get on with it, son.
(C-Note pushes a pile of money forward.)
C-Note: I'm in.
(Jesus smiles knowingly, and puts down three Queens.)
Jesus: Three bitches...bitches. (to C-Note) What you holdin'?
C-Note: You tell me.
(He puts his cards down.)
Zach: Full house.
T-Bag: A full house. That's a concept a Mexican should be quite familiar with, hey, Jesus?
(He chuckles as C-Note, keeping his poker face, rakes in the kitty.)
[26. INT. Vice President Caroline Reynolds' living room. Day.]
Caroline: She said what?
Kellerman: She said in unequivocal terms that I was not to move on Burrows. Whatever their agenda is on Burrows it is not the same as ours. This whole business with his father interferes with the one thing that we set out to do in the first place - put Lincoln Burrows in the ground. If he lives, you're the one that stands to lose. Not The Company - they get themselves another candidate. And you're the one that suffers the brunt of it.
Caroline: Maybe it's time we broke ranks.
Kellerman: If we do that, they pull support for the campaign. You know that, don't you?
Caroline: That is, if they know, Paul.
[27. INT. Kitchen. Day.]
(T-Bag leans over the money at the center, smelling it.)
T-Bag: Mm. Smell that kitty. Jacks or better. Trips to win.
(He passes the deck to Jesus. Jesus splits it.)
Jesus: Last hand. I'm tired of losing all my money today.
(The other inmates chuckle.)
Jesus (to C-Note): How much you up?
(C-Note checks his pile uninterestedly.)
C-Note: Uh...300?
Pao: Does it hurt?
C-Note: What?
Pao: The horseshoe up your ass.
C-Note: I'd rather be lucky than good, Ping-Pong.
(C-Note looks at the cards that T-Bag is dealing him. 6, 7, 8 and 9 of different suits. The last card flips up on the table, revealing 10 of diamonds.)
Zach: Misdeal. Bury the card.
C-Note: Man, I don't care if y'all saw my card.
Zach: Yeah, I bet you don't. Bury the card, Youngblood.
C-Note: Hey, chill, Wrinkles. Ain't my fault Saltine here got a sloppy deal.
T-Bag: Oh, that there was just uncalled for. Now all right, you know, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna deal another hand if you're gonna be such a baby about it.
(Jesus grabs his hand thr*at.)
Jesus: On a misdeal, you bury the card. Finish out the hand. House rules.
(T-Bag looks up at the large inmates standing behind Jesus protectively. He finishes the hand. C-Note looks at his new card: 2 of diamonds. He loses his poker face.)
[28. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(A CO lets Warden Pope into Lincoln's cell.)
Lincoln: Warden.
Pope: I have some good news for you, Linc. Somehow your lawyer's petition went through. The Department of Corrections is allowing you a one-hour visit with your son. I've never seen one of these granted before. Ever.
Lincoln: Good lawyers.
Pope: No lawyer's that good. I'll make the travel arrangements but this is not gonna be a ride in the country. You are gonna be Y-cuffed and the men are gonna be heavily armed. I don't want any problems.
Lincoln: There won't be. I just wanna see my son.
[29. INT. Kitchen. Day.]
(Jesus fans his cards: three 7's, a 3 and a 4. He confidently bets the remainder of his pot.)
Jesus: I bet all I got. 82. Better have some aces shoved up there with that horseshoe or that pot's mine.
(C-Note hesitates.)
Jesus: You in or out?
(Zach and Pao sh**t glances at him. C-Note furtively glances over at T-Bag, but T-Bag won't look at him, he just raises his eyebrows. C-Note puts his cards down and starts counting his money. T-Bag watches him nervously.)
C-Note: I'm in.
(Jesus smiles and picks up his cards.)
C-Note: And I raise you 74.
Jesus: I said I only got 82 left.
C-Note: Then I guess you're outta luck.
Jesus: Never heard of a gentleman's game?
C-Note: Yes I have, but this ain't it. You wanna borrow some money? Ask your boys. But I'm in here to make money, bro. You want Welfare...better vote Democrat.
(Jesus and C-Note stare each other down. But C-Note's raise has forced Jesus to hold and he stands, throwing his cards down.)
Jesus: You know what's good for you, you'll stay away from me in the yard.
(He storms out. C-Note sighs with relief and picks up his winnings.)
[30. INT. Haywire's cell. Day.]
(Haywire takes out a notebook from under his mattress. It is full of copies of the tattoo he gave to Michael.)
Haywire: You think you're smarter than me?
(He looks out of his door's window into the hallway. As he opens the door, the camera reveals the lock jammed with the yellow clay he was holding earlier, preventing the door from locking. He takes the clay out.)
(Haywire walks slowly over to a door marked 'Basement'. As soon as he opens it, an alarm rings out.)
Haywire: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Okay...
(Two orderlies come running over to him.)
Orderly: Where you going, Haywire?
Haywire: He's trying to escape. This is his map!
Orderly: I need you to calm down...
(Haywire wrenches out of their grip and goes running back towards the basement.)
Haywire: He set me up!
Orderly: Zap him!
Haywire: No!
(The orderly uses a taser to bring him down and then they drag him back to his cell. Michael watches through the door's window of his own cell.)
[31. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(C-Note and Westmoreland are hanging by the telephones, pretending to be using them while waiting for Geary.)
Westmoreland: There he is.
(C-Note jogs over to the fence and slips the rolled up $500 through.)
C-Note: Hey, boss. I think you dropped something, man. It's half a G-Note. So when do I move in?
Geary: You don't.
C-Note: What? Come on, chief, now. We had a deal.
Geary: Renegotiation. The price is 700.
C-Note: That ain't right. I just gave you $500 dollars.
Geary: What you have me was a down payment. If you can't come up with the rest, well ... (He shrugs and makes to move away.)
C-Note: No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Just hold on. One minute, all right?
(C-Note jogs over to Westmoreland.)
C-Note: Oh, man, he's trying to shake us down. I'm gonna need that watch.
Westmoreland: Not an option.
C-Note: Look, would you rather be looking at a picture of your daughter, or holding her in your arms once you get outside?
(Westmoreland doesn't like it, but he takes out his watch, removes the picture, and hands it to C-Note. C-Note goes over to Geary and gives it to him.)
C-Note: Hey, look, man, Father Time owed me a few bones. He gave me this in trade. That should be more than enough to cover it.
Geary: Not bad. Your problem is, somebody already gave me 700 for the cell, so you're SOL.
(He walks away. C-Note follows him on his side of the fence.)
C-Note: No! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute...so you're just gonna take my money and walk?
(Westmoreland watches him, looking devastated.)
Geary: Yeah, well, write to your congressman.
C-Note: Oh, come on...
(He hits the fence in frustration.)
ACT 4.
[32. INT. Michael's Psych Ward cell. Day.]
(Michael folds up the tattoo drawing and puts it in his pocket. There's a knock at the door. He turns around to see Sara.)
Michael: Hey.
Sara: Hi. They said you wanted to talk to me.
Michael: Yeah. Yeah...
Sara: Okay. (to the orderly) We're good.
Michael: Um...please. (He gestures to the bed and she sits down.)
Sara: Thanks.
(Michael sits next to her.)
Michael: I made you something. (He hands it to her.) It's an ashtray.
Sara: Um...I don't smoke.
Michael: Yeah, I know, but um...they only let us make these and jewellery. And I didn't figure you for the macaroni necklace type.
Sara: It's very sweet. Uh...how about we talk about how you're doing?
Michael: Mm...I think we both know I don't belong here. I don't remember much about that night, but, being locked up in Ad Seg, something must have snapped. What I'm trying to say is, I think I've had enough of arts and crafts. But that's your call.
Sara: And the doctors here do say that you've been acting fine. The problem is that if you don't tell the Pope who b*rned you, he's gonna lock you back up in Ad Seg. And after a couple of days of that you're gonna be right back here.
(Michael sighs. Sara reaches out and puts her hand on his arm.)
Sara: Michael, I hate what happened to you and I hate that you're here. But you have gotta let me help you. If you wanna get out of psych ward and stay out, you've gotta tell the Pope the truth about that burn.
[33. INT. Ad Seg corridor. Day.]
(Manche walks down the corridor with his laundry trolley.)
Manche: Out with the old, in with the new, cons.
(Sucre hands his old clothes out, and Manche hands him new ones through the hatch in the door.)
Manche: I've got a message from your cellie, bro. He says he's okay and he's trying to fill in the blanks.
Sucre: Did he say he's trying, or he already got the blanks filled in?
Manche: Yo, man, I don't know. I didn't write it down.
Sucre: Okay. Now you're gonna tell him that I filled in the hole.
Manche: I'm done with your little secrets and messages, bro. I saw Scofield's back. He's got a burn in the same spot as the burn in that guard shirt. I don't know what you're doing, but I have an idea. I'm through helping you until you tell me what's going on.
Sucre: I can't, bro.
Manche: Then good luck in the hole, jefe!
Sucre: No, no, no, wait...
(Lincoln's voice comes from down the hall.)
Lincoln (o/s): Manche.
Manche: Who's that?
Sucre: That's Linc, bro.
Manche: Linc the Sink?
Sucre: Yeah.
Lincoln (o/s): Come here.
(Manche nervously moves over to Lincoln's cell.)
Lincoln: I think we can work something out.
[34. INT. Chow room. Day.]
(C-Note, Westmoreland and T-Bag sit together at a table, despair on all their faces.)
C-Note: All I can say is before I get out of here, Geary will pay. Believe that.
Westmoreland: No-one's getting out of here if Maintenance goes to replace Scofield's toilet.
(They are interrupted by Manche.)
Manche: I got a way to help you with your Scofield problem.
T-Bag (dangerously): What'd you say, Slim?
Manche (nervous): I said, I got a way to help you...
(C-Note becomes defensive, grabs Manche and grips his shirt, pulling him closer.)
C-Note: Who in the hell said we had a problem?
Manche: It's cool, man. Relax. Lincoln and Sucre told me everything.
(C-Note slams Manche's head down on the table.)
C-Note: What the hell did they tell you? Exactly what did they tell you?
Manche: Everything. They said I can come with you. You know, on early parole, if I can help get the Fish out of psych.
(C-Note lets go of Manche, shoving him away.)
T-Bag: What are we, the A-Train? Everyone gets to ride with us?
(He knocks some milk over Manche, who now looks terrified.)
T-Bag: Why don't you take a walk before I give you a smack?
(Manche nods, breathing hard, and goes to leave. Westmoreland stops him.)
Westmoreland (to T-Bag): You got another solution to our situation?
(T-Bag stays silent, glaring at Manche. Manche won't look at him.)
Westmoreland: I didn't think so.
Manche: Me and my cuz and Lincoln...came up with something. Now, it can work, but it's risky...
[35. INT. Psych ward day room. Day.]
(Manche walks around picking up dirty art smocks. He comes up behind Michael.)
Manche (whispers): You ready to get out of this aquarium, Fish?
[Camera sh*t of the prison basketball court - inmates play basketball. Camera pans in closer to show the Laundry room exterior - day.]
[36. INT. Laundry room. Day.]
(Manche presses laundry with the steam press.)
[37. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Manche walks up the yard with his laundry trolley. Coming the other way is Westmoreland with a wheeled trash can. As they pass each other, Westmoreland opens the lid of the trash can and Manche tosses something inside. Westmoreland pushes the trash can over to the guards' room.)
[38. INT. Guards' room. Day.]
(Westmoreland enters the guards' room. CO Mack is finishing a snack. He lifts up the trash can lid and puts his litter in there, then leaves the room. Once he's gone, Westmoreland digs into the trash can.)
[39. INT. Corridor. Day.]
(Michael stands opposite Warden Pope.)
Michael: Assure me I'll be protected.
Pope: Michael, you know me well enough by now. Such assurances are not necessary.
Michael: With all due respect, Warden, if I'd been protected in the first place none of this would have happened.
(Pope looks guilty, trying to find a reply but can't.)
Pope: A name.
Michael: Geary.
Pope: Geary?
Michael: He shakes cons down for money - anything he can get his hands on. He knew I went to college so he must have...he must have thought I was rich or something. Anyway, when, uh...when I couldn't pay up, he held me down with one arm...and b*rned me with the other. I don't know what he used, but...it was hot as hell.
[40. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
(Nick crosses a number off a list.)
Nick: What a surprise. Disconnected.
Veronica: 250 businesses, 72 residents, covering all 50 states. London, Martinique, Jakarta, Dakar...
Nick: All the numbers out of service.
Veronica: As soon as Quinn disappeared they must have erased the paper trail in days. Is there anything they can't do?
(She slumps back in her seat, defeated.)
Nick: My PI buddy in DC - what if I send him all this? See if he can make a connection between the numbers. I'll tell him I need it ASAP.
Veronica: Thank you.
Nick: It's no big deal. I'll just overnight him all this stuff.
Veronica: No, for everything. Hangin' in there, keepin' me going. Thank you.
Nick: Sure.
[41. INT. Guards' room. Day.]
(Bellick enters the guards' room. Geary is sitting at the table reading from the paper.)
Geary: Guy with a six ERA signs for four mil a year. Sucks at his job and still gets a raise.
Bellick: You suck at your job. You should ask the Pope for a raise.
Geary: Very funny.
(The door opens again and Warden Pope enters. Ominous music plays.)
Bellick: Warden. What brings you to our little clubhouse?
(Warden Pope walks furiously over to Geary's locker and opens it, dragging things out.)
Geary: Hey, what gives?
(Bellick watches, confused. Pope brings out a spare pair of boots and looks inside, finding C-Note's $500.)
(He pockets it and continues to search. Geary looks worried. Pope brings out Westmoreland's watch.)
Geary: Hey, that was a gift from my old man!
Pope: Since when is your name 'Charles'? And your dad's name 'Ann'?
(Geary doesn't reply. Pope turns back to the locker and brings out a guard's shirt with a b*rned sleeve. He looks at Bellick, then stares accusingly at Geary. Geary shakes his head in disbelief.)
[42. EXT. Prison gates. Day.]
(Geary, dressed in civilian clothes, is escorted to the main gates carrying his belongings. Bellick stands at the gates.)
Geary (to Bellick): This is a railroad. I didn't do nothing! Don't look at me like I'm some con. You're as crooked as scoliosis.
(Bellick leans forward.)
Bellick: I don't get caught.
(A CO opens the main gate and Geary walks through. Bellick and two COs stand back as a van carrying Lincoln and several armed COs goes through the gate.)
[43. EXT. Illinois countryside road. Day.]
(Lincoln takes in the farm fields. A guard in the van speaks to him.)
C.O.: When we get there, I'll take you out of the Y-cuffs and put you in a four-piece. Got it?
Lincoln: Got it, boss.
C.O: You play nice, I play nice. Understand?
Lincoln: Got it.
[44. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
(Veronica sits at the desk scribbling notes. Camera pans over to Nick in another room, on his cell phone.)
Nick (quietly): She's here. I've got her.
[45. INT. A-Wing cell block. Day.]
(Michael is buzzed into the block.)
PA: Scofield for re-admission to Gen Pop.
[46. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Westmoreland is sitting on Michael's bunk.)
Westmoreland: Welcome home.
Michael: Thanks. I never thought I'd be so glad to be back in my cell.
(Westmoreland chuckles. Michael sits next to him.)
Michael: Uh...Pope...wanted me to give you this.
(He hands Westmoreland the gold pocket watch. Westmoreland opens it shakily, replaces the photo of his daughter and leaves the cell.)
[47. EXT. Illinois countryside roads. Day.]
(Lincoln is still staring out of the window.)
C.O.: What the hell are you staring at, anyway?
Lincoln: Everything.
(They approach an intersection. A giant semi-truck is zooming up to it at great speed. As their van gets there, the truck blows the stop sign and slams into the back half of the van. The van spins, flips over and comes to a rest on its side in a ditch.)
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x18 - Bluff"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
[Camera fades in on smoke. Wreckage. Fades out.]
[Fade in on the truck on its side, battered and twisted. Lincoln lies on the ground, eyes closed, still. Fade out.]
(Lincoln breathes, opens his eyes. His breathing is labored and the camera shows he is seeing through blurred, fuzzy vision. He groans.)
(Up on the road, a car pulls up and stops. Lincoln watches a single figure get out and approach him. It's Kellerman.)
(Kellerman kneels next to him, pats his shoulder, then puts his hand on Lincoln's shackled ones.)
Kellerman: You know, I used to have a Great Dane. Big and loyal. When she was 12, she got cancer so we had to put her down.
(Camera shows Kellerman from Lincoln's point of view: he is blurry and Lincoln can't identify him.)
Kellerman: You'd think it would be this big dramatic event, but uh...
(He puts a leather glove over Lincoln's face, smothering him. Lincoln struggles.)
Kellerman: It was very peaceful. Shh-shh-shh. One minute she was breathing and the next she wasn't.
(Lincoln continues to struggle. Camera pans out to show a car coming from the opposite direction. It stops and a man in a baseball cap gets out. Kellerman looks over.)
Man: Hey! Everything okay? Need me to call 911?
(The man goes to his trunk and pulls out a mini f*re extinguisher.)
Kellerman: No, no, no. I got it.
Man: That engine's smokin' pretty bad. Looks like it could go up any second.
(The man approaches them. Kellerman is forced to remove the glove from Lincoln's face. Fuming silently, Kellerman gets up, his hand behind him on the g*n in his belt.)
Kellerman: I think we're okay actually.
Man: You think?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Man: All right, if you say so.
Kellerman: Fine. I think it's gonna be fine.
(Kellerman begins to draw his g*n, but before he can, the man smashes Kellerman round the face with the f*re extinguisher. The man begins to drag Lincoln away. Kellerman lies unconscious in the ditch.)
[1. EXT. Ad Seg gate. Day.]
(A gate is buzzed open to let Sucre through into the yard.)
PA: Fernando Sucre, released from Ad Seg.
[2. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Sucre walks across the basketball court to the escape team. Manche embraces him excitedly.)
Manche: Cuz!
(Michael embraces him as well.)
Michael: You're out. It's good to see you, buddy.
T-Bag: Y'all can sign each other's yearbooks later. Where are we at?
Michael: The map is complete I got what I needed.
T-Bag: Then we're ready.
Michael: Almost. I know which pipes we need to take beneath psych ward now, which means our way to the infirmary is clear. With our new route, we're gonna come up on the far end of that building. Which means we gotta walk down 30 feet of hallway to get to the doctor's office. Our exit point.
[Camera shows the interior corridors, the route the guys will have to take.]
Michael: Which means there's only one thing left of this whole thing.
[Camera shows a hand reaching out to the infirmary door.]
Michael: The key to that room.
(The team disinterestedly watch a bus arriving at the Fox River entrance.)
C-Note: No sweat. That's all we gotta do is run a bump-and-grab on a CO like we did last time, grab the keys, make a copy.
Michael: It's not that easy. Only the medical staff have those keys.
T-Bag: How you fixin' on gettin' it then, Pretty?
Michael: Carefully.
C-Note: No more surprises this time, right?
Michael: Right.
(Westmoreland watches the new prisoners get off of the bus.)
Westmoreland (shocked): Jesus, Mary and Joseph...
[Camera pans over to the legs of the new prisoners, all wearing yellow jumpsuits. Camera pans up their legs. One of them is John Abruzzi.]
(Abruzzi walks in line, making eye contact with the escape crew. T-Bag's jaw drops, he suddenly looks very worried.)
OPENING CREDITS.
[Camera pans over Fox River - day.]
[3. INT. Chow room. Day.]
(Abruzzi sits alone, holding a cross. He prays quietly. Michael approaches him.)
Michael: Hello, John.
Abruzzi: Michael.
Michael: How are you?
(Abruzzi gets up and embraces Michael tightly. Michael is wary.)
Abruzzi: Any day above ground is a blessing. Thanks be to God.
(He sits again and gestures to a chair opposite.)
Abruzzi: You mind? Please.
Michael: Thank you.
(He sits. Abruzzi silently reads a bible.)
Michael: Lot of rumours going around.
Abruzzi: Yeah.
Michael: I'm glad you're back.
Abruzzi: I'm surprised you're still here. I thought you'd be gone by now.
Michael: Well, we had a few set backs.
Abruzzi: Still planning on it?
Michael: That depends. How does the idea of escaping sit with the new you?
Abruzzi: Oh, the old sinner who was confined to these walls, he's d*ad. The new soul deserves to be free.
Michael: Well, the old sinner was gonna have a jet ready for us. Is the new soul gonna be able to pull that off?
Abruzzi: Noah had his ark, did he not?
(Camera pans over to T-Bag, watching them nervously.)
Abruzzi: Let's pray.
(Michael puts his hands together.)
(T-Bag leans towards the rough-looking inmate he's eating with.)
T-Bag: I'm gonna need a blade. Pronto.
[4. INT. Pope's office. Day.]
Pope: h*t and run?
Bellick: Yes, sir.
Pope: And Burrows is gone?
Bellick: That's right.
Pope: The officers?
Bellick: Two are d*ad, one is in critical.
Pope: Do you realise what the media is gonna say when they get ahold of this?
Bellick: We'll get him back, sir.
Pope: 40 years in corrections and this is how they're gonna remember me.
Bellick: This is Kane County. Sheriff Ballard's a good friend of mine. He hasn't said a word to anyone yet. Give us four or five hours. We'll find him.
Pope: If I don't report this to the DOC right now...
Bellick: They don't have to know. You've always been a by-the-book guy, boss, but this time the book's gonna get us all fired.
Pope: Find him.
[5. EXT. Junkyard. Day.]
(A black Mustang drives through a junkyard, to a secluded corner and pulls in, out of sight. The man in the baseball cap gets out and eases the still unconscious Lincoln out of the car.)
[6. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
Veronica: The records of every call made to and from every contact in Quinn's cell phone.
Nick: Well, we have our haystack. Any idea what the needle might look like? There must be...there must be thousands of calls here.
Veronica: But to who? To where?
Nick: You know, it's gonna take us forever to go through all of these. What if these have nothing to do with Lincoln and Steadman, huh? We're just burning time, and we're just that much closer to the execution.
Veronica: What's going on with you, Nick? I mean, it's almost like you want to quit.
Nick: I don't wanna quit.
Veronica: Well, let's get to it.
(She throws a stack of papers at him.)
[7. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Katie opens the door to let Michael into Sara's room.)
Katie: Dr. Tancredi will be right in.
(She holds the door open but when she walks away, Michael locks it from the inside, pushing it shut. Sara comes over.)
Sara: Morning.
Michael: Morning.
(Sara tries the door. Finding it locked, she takes out her keys and opens it. Michael takes note of which key she uses.)
Sara: How are you feeling today?
Michael: Better.
Sara: Good.
[8. EXT. Intersection. Day.]
(EMTs take a bodybag away on a gurney. f*re crews and police officers stand around the wreckage. Sheriff Ballard talks to Bellick.)
Sheriff Ballard: We got checkpoints up at 171 by Lemont, at Sage Bridge and at the river going towards Romeoville. According to our witness over there...
[Camera sh*t of Kellerman being treated for his head injury in the back of ambulance.]
Sheriff: ...this new perp was driving an '06 Mustang. Black, dark blue, maybe. We're not gonna be able to sit on this thing very long, Brad.
Bellick: This is me, Nate. I need this.
Sheriff: All right. You go back to Fox River. I'll be in constant contact.
Bellick: You mind if I...?
(He nods at Kellerman. The Sheriff agrees and walks away. Bellick walks over to Kellerman.)
Bellick: How you doin', Mr...?
Kellerman: Roy Hawkins. Hi.
(He gets up and begins to walk back to his car, holding the ice pack to his head.)
Bellick: Where are you goin'?
Kellerman: Uh, I'd like to get going if I could. I'm late for a meeting in, uh...Aurora.
Bellick: Where you comin' from?
Kellerman: Chicago.
Bellick: Kind of an indirect route to get to Aurora.
Kellerman: I'm not from around here.
(He passes Sheriff Ballard talking into his radio.)
Sheriff: 2006 Mustang, black, no ID on the plates...
(Kellerman gets into his car, throws the ice pack down and turns on his own radio, picking up the Sheriff's signal.)
Sheriff: If any of you get so much as a whiff of anything I wanna know about it immediately.
Kellerman: Makes two of us, pal.
(He drives away.)
[9. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Sara pulls the screen across. Michael looks at the key sticking out of her lab coat pocket. Sara begins to clean the burn wound on Michael's back. She turns and throws away the used gauze. As she turns back to Michael, their eyes meet. The moment is electric. Michael slowly leans in and kisses her tenderly. She doesn't pull away. She holds his face tenderly.)
Sara: What do you want from me, Michael?
Michael: Sara...
(He sighs, looking down at the key in her pocket.)
Michael: I need you to do something for me.
Sara: What?
(Michael looks down at the key again. Sara strokes his face gently.)
Michael: Wait for me. It won't always be like this. In this room. In this place.
Sara: Until then, I can't. We can't. Damn it. I can't.
(An orderly comes in, oblivious to Sara and Michael's encounter. Sara steadies herself, and walks out.)
[10. INT. Tweener's cell. Night.]
(Tweener slowly approaches his cell.)
C.O.: (o/s): Doors closing!
(The cell door begins to close and Tweener just manages to get in in time. He looks fearfully up at Avocado, who is sitting on the top bunk.)
Avocado: Hey, squirt.
Tweener: Avocado.
Avocado: How many times I gotta say it? You address me formal-like.
Tweener: Mr. Bolz-Johnson.
Avocado: That's better.
Tweener: I think maybe you and I can work somethin' out.
Avocado: Really.
Tweener: Check it. I got this homie on the outside. He could put a hundie into your commissary account each month.
Avocado: It's nice of you to think of me like that. But you only got one thing I need.
(He lets the sheet fall across the cell door. Tweener looks down the at floor, terrified.)
[11. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Tweener sits by the wall, knees to his chest, very upset and distressed. Michael approaches him and squats next to him.)
Michael: I need you to get something for me. Do your bump-and-swipe thing.
Tweener: Like I did with the watch?
Michael: Exactly.
Tweener: Yeah, that did me a lotta good. When the guards found out, they stuck me in a cell with Avocado. So if you want somethin' glommed, you need to do somethin' for me.
(Tweener looks over at Avocado, who is lounging on the ground nearby staring at Tweener. Michael follows his gaze.)
Tweener: k*ll that son of a bitch.
Michael: That's not something I can do.
(Tweener is on the verge of tears.)
Tweener: Screw Honus Wagner.
Michael: What was that?
Tweener: This kid in my neighborhood. His dad had a baseball card collection. So I figured, you know, I'd swipe it. I could get some party cash, you know? There was one card in there...a 1910 Honus Wagner. Doesn't mean nothin' to me, you know? Hoops is my sport. This card, it was worth $300,000 dollars. So they slapped me with grand larceny.
[Camera sh*t of Avocado, lounging, staring at Tweener.)
Tweener: That's why I'm here. That's why I'm sittin' on a nickel, gettin' turned out like a little bitch. A baseball card!
[12. INT. Junkyard garage. Day.]
(Lincoln regains consciousness. He looks across at the man in the baseball cap.)
Lincoln: Dad?
ACT 2.
[Camera pans over the junkyard - day.]
[13. INT. Junkyard garage. Day.]
Lincoln: What are you doin' here?
Aldo Burrows: As soon as I heard they granted you a visit with your son, I knew they'd make a move on you.
Lincoln: I mean what are you doing here?
Aldo: I got a car about 20 miles from here. We'll switch out. After that, gonna make sure you disappear. Then this business will just be between me and them. Can you move?
Lincoln: What are you talkin' about? They're after me, not you.
Aldo: It's not as simple as that, trust me. I worked for them.
Lincoln: You worked for 'em? You're an alcoholic.
Aldo: Is that what you remember? Or is that what you were told?
Lincoln: Why'd you leave?
Aldo: I took a position with a group of multinationals we called The Company. They call every sh*t this country takes. What laws to pass, what judges to appoint, what wars to fight. Thing is, if you wanted to rise in the ranks like I did, you had to commit to leaving everything you know behind. Because then you start to get access to the real information. Information people would do a lot of things to get their hands on. Like harm your family.
Lincoln: You expect me to believe that? Why didn't you reach out to us? Why didn't you call us?
Aldo: I've regretted it every day. But I didn't have a choice. Lincoln, the day I left The Company, I took all that information with me. That's why they're doing this to you. All of it. To stop me.
[14. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael is on the yard phone.)
Michael: You have to trust me.
Nika (v/o): Then you have to tell me what's going on.
Michael: I can't do that.
CUT TO: Nika, getting out of a car on her cell phone.
Nika: Then I can't help. Look, I did what you ask. Green card for credit card, that was the deal.
Michael: Then we make a new deal.
Nika: Michael, if somebody find out...
Michael: Believe me, I'll be in more trouble than you will.
Nika: I know. And this is why I won't help you.
Michael: Look, Nika, I promise you...
Nika: Look, I don't know what's going on. I don't know why you're in there. But if there's one thing those guys that brought me here taught me, it's that if you fight, if you struggle, you only make things worse. Stop fighting, Michael.
(Michael lets his head fall onto the arm that's resting on the phone box.)
Michael: Just think about it, okay?
Nika: I'm sorry.
[15. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
Veronica: There it is again - a 406 number. It's on every listing.
Nick: 406...Yeah, there's...there's over 200 businesses, another hundred residences in 17 different countries.
Veronica: And they're all calling the same number.
Nick: 406.
Veronica: Montana.
Nick: Can you check the prefixes?
(Veronica searches on her laptop.)
Veronica: This doesn't make any sense. All these people from all over the world are calling this place in the middle of nowhere with a population of 42. Blackfoot, Montana.
[16. INT. Terrence's mansion. Day.]
(Terrence Steadman puts in a set of false teeth, picks up a phone and dials.)
[Camera sh*t of the Vice President's limo and its police escort driving along the road.]
[17. INT. Limo. Day.]
(Vice President Caroline Reynolds answers her cell phone.)
Caroline: I thought you understood, Terrence. If you want to talk, we set up a meeting at home, in person.
Terrence: I saw the latest tracking. Your polls are headed south. Maybe the Burrows thing's finally starting to gain some traction with the swings. It could hurt.
Caroline: Goodbye, Terrence.
Terrence: You said it was almost over!
Caroline: It is.
Terrence: Are we talking about Lincoln Burrows? Or your candidacy?
Caroline: The only reason that you are still alive is because I won't let them k*ll you.
Terrence: Yeah, I'm pretty clear on that. But the thing I can't quite figure is, with the crap storm this thing's become...why they haven't k*lled you.
(Vice President Reynolds waits a second before hanging up the phone. Terrence hangs up his phone, and replaces the false teeth in the mug.)
[18. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Michael walks along the chain link fence. He spots Sara walking between buildings with Nurse Katie. She makes eye contact with Michael, then bashfully looks away.)
Sucre: Figure out how you're gonna get the key to the infirmary yet?
Michael: Not quite.
(He turns back to watch Sara.)
Sucre: You workin' a game on her, or what?
Michael: I don't know.
[19. INT. T-Bag's cell. Day.]
(T-Bag is shaving, looking in his cell mirror. Through the mirror he sees Abruzzi approach the cell door. He leans on the wall, one hand hidden behind his back.)
Abruzzi: I've had time to think.
(T-Bag turns around fearfully.)
Abruzzi: Not that you tried to k*ll me, but about how Jesus saved me.
(T-Bag doesn't answer, clearly wary.)
Abruzzi: I didn't come in here to inflict any more pain. Take my hand so we can put this behind us. Please.
T-Bag: Show me the palm of your other hand.
(Abruzzi comes forward into the cell; T-Bag stays at the back.)
Abruzzi: Don't insult me, after all you've done, the least I ask...is that you don't insult me.
(Slowly, T-Bag moves forward towards Abruzzi. Even more slowly he reaches out his hand. After a tense b*at, they shake hands. The two men stare each other down.)
Abruzzi: Does not a warm hand feel better than a cold shank?
T-Bag: You got a point there, John.
Abruzzi: Yeah. (He chuckles and moves his other hand to rest on top of their joined hands.)
T-Bag: Truce?
Abruzzi: You got it. Truce.
(Abruzzi walks away, and T-Bag breathes a sigh of relief.)
[20. INT. Administration building. Day.]
(Warden Pope and Bellick storm down the stairs.)
Pope: Son of a bitch. Two and a half hours, and you're tellin' me that sheriff has got nothing?
Bellick: I'm telling you the roads are blocked off. That Mustang's gotta be somewhere within those ten square miles.
Pope: All right, listen. You've got two hours to find him. After that, I have got to talk to the press. There's an escaped k*ller outside our walls and there are some things that are more important than career. Now, you find him!
(Warden Pope storms off. Bellick puts on his hat and jacket.)
Stolte: Hey, Captain!
Bellick: I don't have time.
Stolte: He says he really needs to talk.
(Bellick spots Tweener waiting for him.)
Bellick: Do you have something for me, or do you need something? If it's the latter you just wasted my time.
Tweener (very upset): That cellie you stuck me with, Avocado...
Bellick: Do you have something, or do you need something? Last time I'm gonna ask.
Tweener: I'm askin' ya to just...please get me out of that cell.
(Bellick shoves Tweener aside and walks away.)
Tweener: Boss, please! Boss!
Stolte: Let's go.
[21. INT. Tweener's cell. Day.]
(Avocado is lying on the top bunk reading a magazine. Tweener is sitting on the bottom bunk, looking upwards, scared.)
(Avocado suddenly moves, sliding his bulky frame off the bunk and to the floor. Tweener backs against the wall. Avocado reaches in and puts an arm round him.)
Avocado: You need to start relaxin'. It'll hurt a lot less.
Tweener: Can we go on your bunk?
Avocado: Sure, squirt. Let me make it a wee bit more comfortable.
(He stands up to smooth the sheets. Out of Avocado's sight, Tweener reaches up and pulls a razor blade out from underneath the springs of the top bunk, then reaches out to Avocado.)
Avocado (with pleasure): Oh, now we're talkin'...
(Tweener clenches his jaw then slashes Avocado with the razorblade, attempting to castrate him. Avocado screams in pain.)
[Camera sh*t of Fox River - exterior - day. A flock of birds flies off the tower, as if frightened by something.]
[22. EXT. Parking lot. Day.]
(Sara hunts in her bag for her keys. She is approached by Nika.)
Nika: Are you the doctor from the prison?
Sara: Uh, yeah. Can I...
Nika: You know a prisoner named Michael Scofield?
Sara: I do. (She recognizes her.) You're his wife, right?
Nika: I need to talk to you. I think Michael has got himself in some trouble. And I think he's planning on doing something dangerous to get out of it.
ACT 3.
[23. INT. Coffee Shop. Day.]
(A waitress fills Sara's cup with coffee as she passes.)
Sara: Thanks. So what is it you...
Nika: Michael has a deep need to help people.
Sara: So I've come to understand.
Nika: It's actually how we met. There were these men that brought me here. Told me I'd have good job. But that was just a lie. They were going to sell me. And until they did I...Michael paid them off for my freedom. And not to keep me for himself like I've heard from other girls, but to give me an opportunity.
Sara: He's a good man.
Nika: Yes, he is.
Sara: Nika, I wanna do whatever I can to help Michael. To do that, I need you to tell me what it is you think he's mixed up in.
(Nika hesitates.)
Nika: I think this was a mistake.
Sara: No, it's not at all. If you just tell me what it is...
Nika: Please, just keep an eye on him.
(She gets up hurriedly, and knocks her bag off the table.)
Nika: God, I'm sorry...
(Sara reaches down to help her pick it up.)
Nika: Thanks.
Sara: Listen, could I just have a contact number for you in case I see something...
Nika: I don't think that's a good idea. Please don't tell him we met.
[A salvage truck pulls into the junkyard - day.]
[24. INT. Junkyard garage. Day.]
Lincoln: Somethin' I don't get. How could killin' me stop you?
Aldo: 'Cause I'm the one who leaked the information about EcoField. They could have covered up the scandal a thousand different ways, but they chose to fake Terrence Steadman's death. And they chose you...'cause they knew it would flush me out. They knew that any man with a son on death row who was innocent would have to come forward.
Lincoln: But you didn't.
Aldo: We had a cause, Linc. We have a cause. Their wars can be averted. Millions of lives can be saved.
Lincoln: So you were willing to sacrifice one.
Aldo: Yeah. At least, I thought. But I couldn't watch you die.
Lincoln: You know what you've done? The mother of my child is d*ad.
Aldo: I know.
Lincoln: Do you?! (He grunts with pain and doubles over.) Then I'm guessing you know Michael's in Fox River, and LJ's rotting in some jail.
Aldo: I know all of it.
Lincoln: If you think for a second...
Aldo: You don't have a choice right now.
Lincoln: This is all on you. All of it.
Aldo: Yeah, I know. That's why I'm here. 'Cause there's still a chance we can make it right.
[Outside the junkyard, one of the employees notices the black Mustang behind some plastic tarps.]
[25. INT. A-Wing cell block. Day.]
(Ominous music plays. T-Bag walks across the floor, passing close by another inmate who furtively slips him a shank. T-Bag hides it at his side, approaching Abruzzi's cell. Abruzzi is lounging on the bottom bunk. T-Bag waits for a second, then determinedly approaches the cell. He is suddenly stopped in his tracks by C-Note, who grabs his wrist.)
C-Note: That man in there is our transportation outta here. Which means, now, you go after him and it messes with my chances of me seein' my family so I ain't gonna let that happen. So why don't you just hand me that shank you're holding? Huh?
(T-Bag glares at him, but hands over the shank.)
C-Note: Good.
(T-Bag glances over his shoulder at Abruzzi, then walks away. Abruzzi slowly turns his head to look out of his cell.)
[26. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Sara stands outside her room, hunting through her bag.)
Ray the Orderly: Hey, Sara.
Sara: Hey, Ray.
Ray: You all right?
Sara: Yeah, I can't find my keys. Would you let me in?
Ray: Oh, sure.
(Sara looks confused.)
[27. INT. Prison visitation room. Day.]
(Michael sits at a table, opposite Nika.)
Michael: I'm surprised to see you here.
Nika: That makes both of us.
Michael: Look. You were right. And I'm sorry. I should never have gotten you involved in this.
Nika: It's okay.
Michael: No, it's not. If anyone knew what I asked...
(Nika reaches for his hand and presses Sara's keys into it. Michael looks up in surprise.)
Nika: I'm not even sure why I did it.
(Michael looks around, then slips the key into his sock.)
Michael: Thank you.
Nika: Now we're even.
Michael: You didn't owe me anything.
Nika: Yes, I did. I owed you everything. But that's over now. Goodbye.
(She kisses his cheek, then stands up.)
Nika: The lady doctor...she cares for you.
[28. INT. Administration building hallway. Day.]
(Bellick paces the floor. Then Patterson runs in with a radio.)
Patterson: Bellick! It's the Sheriff. He thinks he's got something.
Bellick (to radio): Go for Bellick.
CUT TO: Sheriff Ballard zooming in his squad car.
Sheriff: We just got a call from Steve Schimek up at the junk yard. Our Mustang is on the premises.
Bellick: He see Burrows?
CUT TO: Kellerman, listening to his own radio, smiling.
Sheriff (o/s): Yep. I got a couple of units five, ten minutes away, tops.
CUT TO: Bellick: Good. I'm right behind you.
(Kellerman speeds off in his car.)
[29. INT. Junkyard garage. Day.]
(Aldo hands Lincoln a map.)
Aldo: Here. You ready to travel?
Lincoln: The place is gonna be crawlin' with cops. You know that, right?
Aldo: There's an unimproved road down by the river. There's a chance they haven't blocked it off yet.
(A car approaches outside and stops sharply.)
Lincoln: We got trouble.
(Aldo looks out of the plastic tarps and sees Kellerman getting out of his car.)
Aldo: Come on. Through here.
[30. EXT. Junkyard. Day.]
(The two of them crouch behind cars, trying to keep an eye on Kellerman.)
(Kellerman moves through the cars, g*n drawn.)
(Police cars flood the compound now. Lincoln and Aldo move another way. Kellerman hurriedly attaches a sil*ncer to his g*n.)
(Officers move through the cars. Bellick is one of them, his g*n drawn.)
(Aldo leads Lincoln to a way out of the yard. Lincoln hesitates.)
Aldo: Come on!
(Kellerman turns the corner, g*n raised.)
Kellerman: Hey!
(He slowly approaches Lincoln.)
Lincoln (whispers): Get outta here. Go.
Kellerman (to Lincoln): Turn around.
(Lincoln turns to face Kellerman. He sees Bellick and other officers on the other side of the fence.)
Lincoln: Bellick! Bellick, don't sh**t! Don't sh**t!
(Kellerman is forced to back off and hide. Bellick approaches Lincoln, then Lincoln walks towards Bellick, hands raised high.)
Officers (o/s): All right, on your knees! Right there, right there! On your knees, hands up! Let's see 'em! Put 'im down, put 'im down.
(Several officers bundle Lincoln to the ground, tying his hands together.)
Bellick: Thought you'd go for a little stroll, did you?
(Lincoln looks over the yard at his father, who hurries away from the scene after one last look at his son.)
ACT 4.
[Camera pans over Fox River prison - day.]
[31. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Michael huddles over the desk, trying to melt the plastic handle of a toothbrush.)
Sucre: Did you hear about Avocado?
(He mimes a blade across his nether regions.)
Sucre: Phwiit! Got his salchicha sliced!
Michael: How?
Sucre: Tweener. But Avocado's saying it got cut on the frame while he was hopping down off his bunk. Yeah.
Michael: Why did he lie?
Sucre: He doesn't want Tweener to go to the SHU, 'cause he can't get him in there.
(Michael looks down at the mould he is trying to make of the key, using soap and the toothbrush.)
Sucre: All I have to say is, as soon as Avocado gets out of the infirmary, Tweener's a d*ad man. How's our key coming?
(Michael stares up at Sucre, worried for Tweener.)
[32. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Nurse Katie is helping Sara look for her keys.)
Katie: What about your car? I mean, sometimes I...
Sara: I just checked.
Katie: Uh...your apartment?
Sara: Uh...No, 'cause I had 'em this morning.
Katie: Then, they gotta be here. Retrace your steps. When did you first notice 'em gone?
Sara: When I came back from lunch.
[Flashback: Sara at the coffee bar with Nika. Nika's bag falling to the floor. Sara's bag is over her chair. Sara figures it out: Nika must have used her frantic exit to slip her hand into her bag and take her keys.]
[33. INT. Administration building. Day.]
(Sara walks past two COs.)
Sara: Hey, Kevin, I need to take a look at that visitation log.
(She goes over to the clipboard and scans down the names. She finds Michael's, then moves her finger across to the visitor's name: Nika Volek.)
Sara (to Kevin): Thanks.
(She walks away looking furious.)
[34. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi calls out to Michael.)
Abruzzi: Michael. I need to know where he is.
Michael: Who?
Abruzzi: Fibonacci. You see, my conversion requires that I not only seek forgiveness, but provide forgiveness even to my greatest transgressors.
(Michael looks disbelieving.)
Abruzzi: Don't look at me like that. Like I'm the same old man I used to be. I'm not. Trust me. I need to reach out to Fibonacci. So we can heal.
Michael: It's a good story. But the answer is no.
Abruzzi: I understand. I'll be patient.
(He walks away. Michael stares after him, distrustfully.)
[Camera shows a telephone ringing.]
[35. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi stands at the phone box.)
Man: Hello?
Abruzzi: Hey, you're officially now on stand by. Now you'll have her there. You understand?
(The camera pans out from the phone to show Abruzzi is talking to Nick Savrinn.)
Nick: I'll do my best.
Abruzzi: Hey, I said do you understand?
Nick (reluctantly): Yeah. Loud and clear.
Abruzzi: Good. Goose Park Airstrip. You can find it on the map. Soon as I call, you have that bitch there, ready and waiting.
[36. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Tweener stands leaning against the bleachers. Michael joins him.)
Michael: Hey.
Tweener: You still want me to swipe that thing you were askin' about? 'Cause I'm havin' a goin-outta-business sale.
Michael: Why don't you get yourself to Ad Seg?
Tweener: For that to happen, I'd have to admit what I did to Avocado. That'd get me, what, 20 years? I'm d*ad, no matter what.
Michael: There may be another way outta here.
Tweener: Yeah. In a body bag.
Michael: I need to know if I can trust you.
Tweener: I'm straight up as they come, you know.
Michael: No, I mean really trust you.
(Tweener locks eyes with him, now aware that something bigger is going on.)
[37. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Michael sits in the consulting room and rolls up his sleeve. Sara enters carrying a tray.)
Michael: Hey.
Sara: Hi.
Michael: How are you?
Sara: I'm fine. You?
Michael: Fine.
(He looks confused, he can tell something has changed in Sara.)
Sara: Have your hand, please?
(Nurse Katie enters behind them.)
Katie: Here they are.
Sara: Here what are?
Katie: Your keys. They were right over there by your in-box.
(Sara stares at Michael. He doesn't look at her.)
Katie: You got a maintenance guy waitin' outside here, says you want him to change the locks. Want me to call him off?
(Michael looks over at Sara, carefully. She glares at him, looking for signs of a response.)
Sara: No, send him in.
(The maintenance guy lingers in the doorway.)
Maintenance Guy: Is it okay if I...?
Sara: Yeah. We're about done here.
(Michael swallows nervously.)
Sara: Is there something wrong?
Michael: No. Unless you want to talk about what happened this morning.
Sara: I think I have a pretty good idea. We're done here.
(Michael walks out of the room. He watches the maintenance guy drop the old door knob into his tool kit, and pick up the new one.)
[38. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(A battered and bloody Lincoln is led, shackled, up the path towards Warden Pope.)
Pope: I want him under 24-hour surveillance. He doesn't sneeze without my knowing it.
Lincoln: What the hell for? What'd I do? Someone tried to k*ll me.
Pope: Finding you in a junk yard eight miles from here makes me think different. Who was your accomplice?
Lincoln: What accomplice?
(Pope glares at him angrily.)
Pope: 24-hour surveillance.
(Bellick leads Lincoln back to Ad Seg.)
[Camera sh*t of the sky moving fast over Fox River, night turning to day again.]
[39. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Bellick walks out into the yard holding a coffee cup and whistling a tune.)
(Camera pans to Tweener in the yard. Tweener goes over to the gate, checking behind him.)
Tweener (whispers): Boss.
Bellick: I heard Avocado cut his hose on your bunk. Must've been some serious gymnastics going on.
Tweener: No, I got somethin' for you this time, boss. But I want guaranteed protection Avocado. And I want time cut off my bid.
Bellick: Anything else? Couple of big-canned whores available to you 24/7?
Tweener: Believe me, what I got is worth it! So you gonna step up or what?
Bellick: This is your last chance, Tweener. Blow smoke again and they'll be scraping you off the heel of my boot.
Tweener: Scofield and his whole PI crew...they're escaping.
[Camera sh*t of the Storage room.]
[40. INT. Break room. Day.]
(Bellick uses a sledgehammer to knock over the chairs and table. He bangs the sledgehammer over the floor until he hears a hollow thud. He tears up the carpet, then smashes the floor with the sledgehammer. Bits of concrete and plywood fly, until eventually, Bellick breaks through. His eyes open wide as he stares down at the hole in the floor.)
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x19 - The Key"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1
Opening Scene.
(Continuing from the last episode, Bellick kneels over the hole in the break room, unable to believe what he's seeing. He's about to stand up when - WHAM - he's h*t the face with a shovel. Westmoreland menacingly advances towards a stunned Bellick.)
Westmoreland: You know I can't let you leave here, boss.
(Westmoreland hits him again, before Bellick grabs the shovel and fights back, shoving Westmoreland against the lockers. He wrenches the shovel away and punches him twice in the stomach, then Bellick pushes Westmoreland onto a counter top. Westmoreland lands on top of a glass coffee pot which shatters on impact.)
(Bellick reaches for the shovel, rearing back for a vicious swing, but Westmoreland grabs a nearby metal thermos and smashes it against Bellick's head. Bellick is knocked backwards and unconscious.)
(Westmoreland looks down at himself and realizes he's bleeding: a huge shard of glass is wedged into his abdomen. He pulls it out, doing his best not to cry out in pain. He looks like he's about to collapse. He looks down at Bellick, beginning to panic.)
[1. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Guards walk the fence line, being led by several German Shepherds. The escape crew linger together.)
T-Bag: Dogs. The numerous times I've been apprehended tryin' to allude the authorities, it's always because of the damn dogs.
(Westmoreland exits the break room, pushing a wheeled trash can. He pulls his jacket across him to cover the bleeding wound.)
T-Bag: Turns out you can run from just about everything in your life, 'cept your own particular stink.
C-Note: Yeah, well some of us stink more than others.
T-Bag: Tinto, you can smell like a bouquet of bonbons, but unless you get rid of your smell, you may as well send a note to the police with directions and some cab fare.
Abruzzi: Theodore's right, man.
Michael: We gotta scrub down our cells.
Sucre: What about our bunks?
T-Bag: Pillows, sheets, everything. Either get rid of your smell or change it.
(Camera sh*t of Westmoreland coming closer with the wheeled trash can.)
C-Note: Well, how much time we got?
Michael: John?
Abruzzi: Three days. That's as soon as I can get us into the guards' room for PI.
Michael (to Manche): You think you'll have the extra suits by then?
Manche: Probably. They should be here tomorrow.
C-Note: Good. So we're good to go.
Michael: All we got left is figuring out how to get through that door in the infirmary and how to get Linc out of that box.
Sucre: You can do that in three days?
Michael: Three days should be plenty of time.
(He turns to see Westmoreland has reached them.)
Westmoreland: We gotta get out of here. Now!
OPENING CREDITS
[2. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Westmoreland: I don't know how he found it. He just did.
Sucre: The hole's just sitting there?
Westmoreland: I covered it the best I could. But it's just a matter of time before someone discovers Bellick's missing.
Michael: What do you mean 'Bellick's missing'?
[3. INT. Break room. Day.]
(A CO makes a cup of coffee in the break room. There is so evidence of the earlier fight. Camera pans down beneath the table, through the ground to the pipe. In the pipe is Bellick - bound and gagged, and still unconscious.)
[4. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Sucre: Okay, okay, okay. Fox River is a big place. Maybe they won't notice for a while.
C-Note: Nothin' happens around here without Bellick's say-so. Somebody is gonna notice that he's missing.
Abruzzi: And when they do, they're gonna close this place down until they find him.
Sucre: What are we gonna do?
Michael: As soon as it gets dark, we go.
Sucre: Tonight?!
T-Bag: Pretty, we ain't ready to escape tonight.
Michael: Escape already started. It started the minute Bellick found that hole.
C-Note: It's gonna end the minute they figure out that he's missing.
Michael (angrily): Then stay! (He gazes at them all) I'll be sure to read the papers in the morning. See how many years you got when they realised which crew was working in that room and dug that hole.
(They all nod slightly, realizing he's right. There's no other way.)
C-Note: So what's the play, man?
Michael (to Abruzzi): Do you think you can have the plane ready by tonight?
Abruzzi: Sure.
Michael (to C-Note): You had kitchen duty, right?
C-Note: Yeah.
Michael: What'd you use to scrub down the floors?
C-Note: I dunno, I think it was peroxide or somethin' like that.
Michael: That'll work. Get as much as you can. I'll work on getting us that key to the infirmary. The rest of you find whatever you can to get rid of the scent in your cells.
Westmoreland: None of this happens if we can't get in the guards' room.
Michael: We're gonna leave after dinner during tier time when the gates are open. Seven 'o clock, one by one, through my cell.
C-Note: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now we were supposed to go through the guards' room, that was gonna give us a head start. Hours before they even found out we were missing.
T-Bag: We leave through your cell, we ain't got no lead time. Seven 'clock, count's at 8 'o clock, that's only six...
Michael: Sixty minutes. Sixty minutes to get over that wall and as far away from here as possible.
Sucre: They'll be right on our asses!
C.O. (o/s): Quit your talkin' and start your walkin' ladies, yard time is over!
Michael: They already are.
[5. INT. A-wing block. Day.]
(The inmates file back to their cells.)
Guard: Come on, let's go. Hurry it up. Single file.
Sucre: You know there's one thing we didn't talk about out there. Your brother. I mean, he's under 24-hour surveillance. I'm just saying, if you can't get to him by tonight, we still have to go. You know that, right?
(Sucre goes into the cell. Michael looks across the tier, where he meets Tweener's eyes looking back at him.)
Guard (o/s): Lockin' down.
(The cell doors close. Michael stares over at Tweener, who is staring at him.)
[Camera sh*t of two guards walking by outside.]
[Camera sh*t of the watch tower.]
[6. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
Lincoln: Hey, boss.
(A CO appears at the window.)
C.O.: What do you want?
Lincoln: My brother's in Gen Pop. He's got no clue I was in an accident.
C.O.: So?
Lincoln: Well, is there any way I can get a message to him?
C.O.: Yeah. Put it in your will.
[Camera sh*t of the Chicago rail way line - day.]
[7. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
(Veronica is on the phone.)
Veronica: And you're sure all those dots connect? Okay. Thank you.
(She hangs up.)
Nick: Who was that?
Veronica: A friend of mine at the title company. Handled a lot of my firm's business. She dug up an address for that phone number in Blackfoot.
Nick: Where is it?
Veronica: It's not the where that's interesting. It's the how. It turns out our little place in Montana was purchased for $2 million by an offshore holding corporation.
Nick: That's pretty standard for a transaction that size though, right?
Veronica: Sure. Only this holding corporation was bankrolled by a trust. A trust financed by the estate of Terrence Steadman. Looks like you and I are going to Blackfoot, Montana.
[8. INT. Prison pipes system. Day.]
(Bellick snaps back to consciousness and struggles, but he can't get free of his bonds. He cries out but the cries are muffled through the gag.)
[9. INT. Chow room. Day.]
(COs Stolte and Patterson are standing on duty. Behind them, Michael waits in line for his food.)
Stolte: You seen Bellick today?
Patterson: No. Why?
Stolte: Mack was asking. I guess he ain't showed up yet.
Patterson: He's probably just late.
Stolte: Bellick? I haven't b*at that guy to work in eight years.
(He looks over at Michael, who is lingering, trying to listen.)
Stolte: Scofield, this ain't Gibson's. Move.
(Michael moves forward. C-Note is behind him.)
C-Note: They already started askin' questions, man. We're not gonna make it out of here in seven hours without them findin' answers.
Michael: How are we coming with that peroxide? I'm gonna need it before we meet up for yard duty.
C-Note: Probably not till later. You wanna tell me what you need it for?
[10. INT. Chow room. Day.]
(T-Bag zig zags through the tables, looking around. He notices an inmate sitting alone and approaches him.)
T-Bag: Makkos, you gonna be eatin' them there Brussels sprouts?
Makkos: No.
T-Bag: You mind if I, uh...?
Makkos: Take 'em. They smell like crap.
T-Bag: Do they, now?
(He puts them in his pocket and moves away, past Tweener who is also sitting alone. Michael walks up to Tweener's table.)
Tweener (nervously): Wassup?
(Michael stares at him.)
Tweener: Yo, if you got somethin'...
Michael: Tonight.
Tweener (taken aback): What?
Michael: Change of plans.
Tweener: Why? Did somethin' happen?
Michael: Just find Sucre. He'll tell you what you need to do to be ready.
Tweener: But what about...
Michael: Tonight.
(He moves away. Tweener stares after him.)
[Camera sh*t of a large stately government building - day.]
[11. INT. Meeting room. Day.]
(Vice President Caroline Reynolds is in a meeting.)
Suit: What the hell's going on?
Caroline: The President changed his mind.
Suit#2: We were given assurances he would veto the Energy Bill.
Caroline: Assurances can tell you everything that a man is going to do until he wakes up in the morning and changes his mind.
Suit#2: Then change it back.
Caroline: I don't think you understand. The President...
Suit#3: Have you enjoyed our support?
Caroline: Yes.
Suit#3: Good. We certainly wouldn't want you to take it for granted.
Caroline: Are you thr*at me?
Suit#3: Why? Do you feel thr*at?
Suit: Caroline, we've all been through this before. The ebbs and flows of political conscience. But we found at the end of the day we get what we want. It's simply a matter of who helps us get it.
Suit#2: If you can't convince a doddering old fool finishing up his second term what the best thing is for this country's economy, perhaps you're not the kind of helper we're looking for.
(Caroline looks concerned.)
[12. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Sara comes into the room to find Michael waiting for her. She locks the door.)
Michael: Sara. I was thinking about something...
Sara: Enough, Michael. Enough with the lies, and the coincidences and the stories. All of it.
Michael: It's not what you think...
Sara: I know what you did. The question is are you man enough to admit it?
Michael: The keys.
Sara: Congratulations. Is it the first time you've been honest with me?
Michael: It's not...
Sara: The second? What are you after, Michael? Is it drugs? Is it needles?
Michael: Neither.
Sara: Then what?
Michael: Please understand that I never meant...I never wanted to involve you in this.
Sara: Well, you've done a pretty poor job of that.
Michael: I came here to tell you something. I'm getting my brother out of here. Tonight. And I need your help.
(Sara stares at him, shocked.)
ACT 2.
[13. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
Sara: Michael, honestly, for your own good don't say anything more.
Michael: You know he's innocent.
Sara: Do what you're talking about and he won't be.
Michael: But he'll still be alive.
Sara: You understand that I am required to report everything you're telling me?
Michael: Yes.
Sara: Then why would you?
Michael: Because you're the only one that can help. And because I know you want to be part of the solution.
Sara: Yeah, aiding and abetting is not part of the solution.
Michael: Neither is doing nothing, knowing what you know about his case.
Sara: How dare you put this on me? I did what I could. I gave my father the information...
Michael: No offence to your father, but the people framing Lincoln... let's just say they have a higher security clearance.
Sara: Now it's a conspiracy?
Michael: I didn't come here to have a debate.
Sara: You're asking me to break the law.
Michael: I'm asking you to make a mistake. Not hurt anyone. Not steal anything. Just...forget to lock up. Leave the door unlocked when you leave tonight. That's it. Please.
Sara: This is where you're breaking out of? This room?
Michael: There are alarm contacts in the glass surrounding the door. Otherwise, I wouldn't need you to...
Sara: I was part of your plan. Was it all an act?
Michael: At first. Yes. I needed to be here. But then I wanted to be here. With you.
Sara: Right.
Michael: And it's k*lling me to know that you'll never believe that. Whatever you may think of me, this is about Lincoln. Don't make him pay for my mistakes.
(Sara storms out of the room.)
[Camera sh*t of the Chicago streets - a train going down the tracks - day.]
[14. EXT. Chicago L Station. Day.]
(Maggio's cell phone rings. He answers it.)
Maggio: Yeah.
CUT TO: Abruzzi, in the prison yard.
Abruzzi: Hi, it's me. There's been an acceleration.
Maggio: How fast we talking about?
Abruzzi: Fast. Tonight.
Maggio: Son of a bitch!
Abruzzi: I think what you're trying to say is, 'No problem'?
Maggio: Yeah, of course. It'll be taken care of.
Abruzzi: Good. The van?
Maggio: Waiting on Fitz Street, 200 yards...
Abruzzi: Behind the old mill?
Maggio: Behind the old mill. I got it. One question, John: Don't you want a bigger plane? You only three seats. I thought you said there were seven or eight guys.
Abruzzi: Well, not everybody gonna have a ticket.
Maggio: You gonna tell me who is?
Abruzzi: The three of us still breathing.
[15. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
(Veronica rushes around packing, the apartment phone under her ear.)
Veronica: Whatever airport's closer to Blackfoot. Aisle, window, it doesn't matter, just get us on the next flight. Yeah, I'll hold...
(Nick's cell phone rings. He answers it.)
Nick: Hello?
CUT TO: Abruzzi in the yard.
Abruzzi: Change of plans. I'm gonna need you to have the girl at the airstrip tonight.
Nick: Tonight?!
Abruzzi: Was I not enunciating?
Nick: No, it's just that, uh...Look, things could get messy.
Abruzzi: So wear a smock.
(He hangs up. Nick also hangs up, not liking it.)
[16. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(The PI team are on yard duty. Michael looks over at the guards' room. The gates are closed and locked. Two COs enter the room.)
[17. INT. Prison pipes system. Day.]
(Bellick hears the break room door close. He struggles, and then hears voices.)
[18. INT. Guards' break room. Day.]
C.O. JJ: Patterson and Pope's secretary? Come on, man, like you wouldn't h*t that.
C.O. Coco: I don't know. Vegas, 2am, maybe but...if she didn't have such a big booty.
C.O. JJ: Man, the booty is a man's biggest weakness. I know I would've h*t it.
CUT TO: Bellick in the pipe. The COs continue their conversation. Bellick tries to cry out to them but they can't hear him.
[19. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
Sucre (to Michael): You find a way into the infirmary yet?
Michael: I'm working on it.
(He watches the two COs exit the guards' room, open the gates and come through to the yard, locking them again. He checks his watch: it turns 2:17pm.)
[20. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Tweener approaches Patterson.)
Tweener: Yo, have you seen Bellick today?
Patterson: Not yet.
(Westmoreland watches them.)
Tweener: I need to talk to him. You know if he went somewheres, or...?
Patterson: Do I look like his mother? The guy hasn't shown up yet.
Tweener: You sure he ain't showed yet? 'Cause, uh, I thought I saw him here this morning.
Westmoreland: Tweener! Need a hand over here.
Tweener: Yeah, I'm on it.
(Tweener walks over to Westmoreland, and notices he's hunched around his rake.)
Tweener: You a'ight?
Westmoreland: Fine. Just sore, that's all. You live to my age, you'll know all about it.
[21. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(Abruzzi picks up handfuls of fertilizer from a sack and puts them in his pockets. T-Bag walks by him, making eye contact. C-Note walks over to Michael.)
C-Note: You know you got a couple of foxes in your henhouse, right?
Michael: Who are we talking about?
C-Note: The bastard and the born-again.
Michael: They both want out of here. They'll behave till then.
(Camera shows Abruzzi and T-Bag keeping an eye on each other.)
C-Note: You think so? I just picked this off of T-Bag yesterday. (He furtively shows Michael the shank.) I would have been there ten seconds later, they'd have been serving Abruzzi with red sauce over at the morgue. I know you wanna be sh*t caller and everything, and that's cool, but you gotta handle things, man. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?
Michael: Yeah.
C-Note: Look, this is it, man. Ain't no do-overs this time. Can't be no complications. We break out tonight, or we ain't never gettin' out.
(He holds his hand out to Michael. Michael shakes it, taking the shank.)
[22. INT. Infirmary. Day.]
(Sara stares out the window. Nurse Katie enters.)
Katie: We got that paperwork in from the county. Sara?
Sara: Yeah. Sorry.
Katie: The paperwork from the county...
Sara: Right, I got it. Um, do me a favour, could you take care of that for me? I gotta get outta here.
Katie: Sure.
Sara: Thanks.
Katie: Where are you going?
Sara: Out.
[23. INT. Locker room. Day.]
(Westmoreland secretly changes the bandage on his wound, putting the bloody one in a locker. He walks round the other guys.)
Michael: Put your blues on over your PI gear.
Sucre: What?
Michael: Just do it.
Abruzzi: You wanna tell us why?
Michael: If we don't have time to get the suits we need we're gonna have to make 'em.
C-Note: Yo, what the hell are you doin', man? We got company.
(He gestures to Tweener, who looks nervous.)
Michael: It's okay. He's coming with us.
(The other inmates are stunned.)
Abruzzi: Whatever happened to 'We got too many people'?
Michael: When the plan changed so did the timing. We'll make sure we all get through.
T-Bag: Well, for health reasons, information like that should be disseminated a little more pronto.
C-Note: Nuh-uh, Fish. One more person means there's one more thing that can go wrong. He is not coming.
Michael: It's not up for discussion.
C-Note: The hell it ain't.
Michael: I owe him. I don't owe you a damn thing.
C-Note: You're gonna, if we get nailed 'cause you didn't wanna cut down on the damn guest list.
(The inmates glare at Tweener. Michael walks over and puts his hand on his back briefly.)
Michael (to Tweener): Don't worry, it'll be fine.
(Abruzzi stares at Michael. Michael meets his eyes.)
[24. EXT. Prison yard. Day.]
(The escape crew walk in single file: Tweener, T-Bag, Sucre, C-Note, Abruzzi, Michael and then Westmoreland. A CO officer calls to them.)
C.O.: Hey, hold up, cons.
(They stop, standing silent.)
C.O.: I saw some drops of blood on the floor of the PI locker room. Now, who's gonna tell me what's going on?
(Michael looks back at Westmoreland. Nobody says anything. The CO glares up and down the line. Michael thinks fast, and slices his thumb on the shank in his pocket.)
Michael: That'd be me, boss. I, uh...I did it while I was loading some equipment back into the shed.
C.O.: You make sure and get that patched up.
Michael: Will do.
C.O.: Okay. Move it.
(He joins Tweener at the front, and the others follow. Michael lingers to speak to Westmoreland.)
Michael: Are you okay?
Westmoreland: Okay enough to make it out of here tonight. I swear.
[Camera pans over Chicago - day.]
[25. INT. Sara's car. Day.]
(Sara mutters under her breath. Then she pulls out her cell phone and makes a call.)
Sara: Hey, Shelley, this is uh...it's me. Listen, I know I'm supposed to call you as my sponsor in case I have a, um...
(She looks across the street at an Irish bar.)
Sara: Um...
(She hangs up and gets out of the car.)
[Camera sh*t of Fox River Penitentiary entrance - day.]
[26. INT. Pope's office. Day.]
(Michael reaches underneath the model and takes out an L shaped support beam. He puts it in his pocket. Pope enters.)
Pope: Whoa! Right. I think we should break a bottle of champagne across its bow.
Michael: If you're intending to get this thing home for your anniversary tonight, I wouldn't recommend it.
Pope (laughs): No. Listen, I want you to know that I...well, I feel very fortunate to have met you.
Michael: Yeah. I guess not that many structural engineers make their way into Fox River.
Pope: No, no. I don't mean because of your vocation. I mean because you're a decent young man, and there are not many of those who make their way into Fox River.
Michael: Well, for what it's worth, there are a few down there.
Pope: Well, that's good to hear. Listen, I know this goes without saying, but, uh...if there's anything you need...well, let's just say that I owe you one.
Michael: Actually, there is one thing you can do for me.
[27. INT. Lincoln's cell. Day.]
(Lincoln, sitting on the floor chained to the wall, talks while Michael checks about Lincoln's cell anxiously trying to find a way out.)
Lincoln: So this whole thing, this whole time, it was never about me. It was about Dad. Can't believe it. Michael? Michael!
Michael: What?
Lincoln: Got something you wanna tell me? I just told you everything we knew about Dad was a lie and you barely blinked.
Michael: We have to go. Tonight.
Lincoln: What are you talking about?
Michael: Bellick found the hole, so either we go now, or it's over.
Lincoln: Michael...
Michael: Look, I know it's gonna be tight, but I can do this...
Lincoln: Michael, stop it.
Michael: The chains on your locks, they're, uh...
Lincoln: Michael. Michael!
Michael: I can do this!
Lincoln: Listen to me. Go. You gotta go.
Michael: Don't say that.
Lincoln: Look at me! You can't do this. There isn't enough time. If you stay here, they'll nail you and you'll rot in here. I'm not asking you, man, I'm telling you. Leave me behind. Go.
(Both brothers lapse into silence, Michael finally sitting still, knowing Lincoln may be right.)
[28. INT. Kitchen. Day.]
(C-Note ties bags of peroxide to his leg and pulls his trouser leg down on top of them. He opens another bag and pours peroxide into it.)
Trumpets: What the hell you think you're doing?
C-Note: Nothin', man.
Trumpets: You tryin' to run somethin' for those Wonder Breads you been runnin' around with?
C-Note: No, it ain't even like that.
Trumpets: Tell me somethin', boy. Is you steppin' or is you fetchin'? I thought I made myself clear when I said your punk ass was no longer in business.
C-Note: This ain't business, all right? This is personal.
Trumpets: What you got there anyway? Some kind of cleaner? What you tryin' to clean up...Sergeant Franklin?
(C-Note chucks the bag of peroxide all over Trumpets' face. C-Note punches him several times before shoving him to the floor and stomping on him. Finally, he spits on him and backs off.)
ACT 3.
[29. Bar in Chicago. Day.]
(Sara sits alone at the bar, her eyes trained on an untouched glass of scotch in front of her.)
TV: Breaking news: local implications in the race for the presidency. Political correspondent Nancy Lu has the details. Nancy?
Nancy (o/s, on TV): And rumours coming out of Vice President Reynolds camp detail a preliminary short list of running mates should she, as expected, win her party's nomination. Perhaps the biggest surprise is the inclusion of Illinois Governor Frank Tancredi.
(Sara snaps to attention, looking up at the TV.)
Nancy (on TV): His consideration is attributed to his reputation for being tough on crime and some point to his recent refusal to grant clemency to Lincoln Burrows, the m*rder of the Vice President's brother, which was welcomed with deep appreciation from within the Oval Office.
TV: Thanks, Nancy. In local news...
(Sara is thinking, adding things up. She gets up and walks away, leaving her glass untouched.)
[Camera pans over the A-Wing cells.]
[30. INT. A-Wing cell block. Day.]
(Stolte looks over the monitors in the guard shack outside A-Wing. The clock shows almost ten to four. He glances at the sign-in board: all the COs have an 'x' next to their name except for Bellick. Stolte looks worried.)
[31. INT. T-Bag's cell. Day.]
(T-Bag crushes the Brussels sprouts he acquired earlier and spreads them over his bedspread and pillow.)
[32. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Day.]
(Abruzzi kneels by his bottom bunk and spreads it with fertilizer.)
Cell Mate: What the hell are you doin', John?
Abruzzi: The Lord's work.
Cell Mate: The Lord wants you to spread horse crap all over your mattress?
Abruzzi: It's not our place to question His will. Are we clear?
[33. INT. Westmoreland's cell. Day.]
(Westmoreland scrubs a bar of soap over his cell walls.)
Guard (o/s): Hey, hey, hey, let's cut the noise.
(Westmoreland stops as the guard passes by his cell.)
[34. INT. Tweener's cell. Day.]
(Tweener stands by the cell door. Stolte appears in front of him carrying a package.)
Stolte: Open on 88!
(Stolte enters the cell and puts the package on the top bunk.)
Tweener: Yo, what's that?
Stolte: Avocado's gear. He's getting out of the infirmary tonight.
Tweener: Tonight?
Stolte: So you got plenty of time to bake him a cake. Hey, I heard you were asking Patterson about Bellick. Said you thought you saw him this morning?
(Tweener looks across the tier at Michael, who is standing by his cell door watching him.)
Tweener: Yeah, I was.
(He looks at Michael again and hesitates.)
Tweener: No, it was yesterday. That's when I saw him.
Stolte: Are you sure?
Tweener: Yeah. You know, time just sort of blends together up in here.
Stolte: All right. (He walks out.) Close on 88.
[35. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
Sucre: What am I supposed to do with this?
(He holds up a bag of peroxide.)
Michael: Pour it in the toilet.
Sucre: You had C-Note steal some peroxide from the kitchen so we can clean the toilet?
Michael: We gotta get into Psych Ward tonight to access the pipes. A bunch of cons wearing their prison blues would stick out like a sore thumb. But the inmates in the Psych Ward all wear...
Sucre: White.
Michael: Peroxide acts as a bleach.
Sucre: Camouflage!
(Sucre stuffs the jumpsuits in the toilet. Michael stands holding the L shaped piece he stole from the Taj Mahal.)
Sucre: Just a few hours now. Looks like we got everything we need. Everything except your brother.
Michael: You worry about the suits. I'll worry about Linc.
[36. EXT. Street. Day.]
(The President shakes hands with several foreign dignitaries as Vice President Caroline Reynolds approaches.)
President: Would you give us a couple of minutes?
Aide: Of course Mr. President.
Caroline: You probably know why I'm here.
President: If I were a betting man, I have a pretty good idea where I'd lay my chips.
Caroline: The Energy Bill, Richard. Why did you change your mind? You've been saying for months it's so full of pork the damn thing's ready to squeal. And now, all of a sud...
President: Yes, the Bill is flawed, but it's better than doing nothing. Frankly, I find it a little curious that you're here telling me to veto a bill you voted in favour of.
Caroline: You're on the way out. Some of us need to think ahead.
President: Actually, I've been doing some thinking ahead as well, Caroline. Specifically about my endorsement.
Caroline: What?
President: I'm considering making a switch, and throwing my weight behind Senator Challis.
Caroline: You can't do that!
President: Can't I? Caroline, you are everything that's wrong with politics. You vote, not to legislate change, but to profit. You run, not to make a difference, but to make demands.
Caroline: You put me on your ticket, not because I share your views, but because I didn't share your gender. So don't take the moral high ground. We all know how this game is played.
(The President makes to walk away. Caroline hurries to stop him.)
Caroline: Richard, please, I...
President: Good day, Caroline.
Caroline: Richard. Richard...
[37. INT. Pope's office. Day.]
(Pope stands with CO Patterson and another CO.)
Patterson: You know what I got my wife for our anniversary? A scarf!
Pope: Well, this is a big one for me. I had to do something special. Okay, let's get this thing down to the car. We'll do it all together, on three. Ready? One...two...three...
(They all lift it, but the dome collapses inwards.)
Pope: Oh, no! Oh, no! Put it down, put it down, put it down. Ohh, all right, um, get Scofield up here, right away!
[38. INT. Michael's cell. Day.]
(Sucre checks the suits in the toilet.)
Sucre: It's working.
Michael: All right, get 'em out and get 'em dry. We gotta get 'em on under our clothes before tier time which is in...45 minutes.
Sucre: You think everyone else will be ready?
Michael: We don't have a choice. As soon as the gates open, we go. We're gonna need every second.
C.O. Mack Andrews (o/s): Open on 40.
(Sucre hurries to hide the suits by pulling down his pants and sitting on the toilet.)
Andrews: Scofield, Pope needs to see you, ASAP.
Sucre: Now?
Michael: What for?
Andrews: Your Bar Mitzvah. Let's go.
Sucre: It's 6:15, bro! You can't...
Andrews: Now.
(The COs escort Michael through the floor of A-Wing. C-Note, Abruzzi, T-Bag and Westmoreland watch him pass from their respective cells. Their apprehension is evident.)
T-Bag: Hey, Pretty...tick-tock.
[39. INT. Pipes system. Day.]
(Bellick is beginning to tire from struggling. When he finally relaxes he feels something behind him with his hands. Camera shows its a jagged bolt. Bellick rubs the restraining rope against it.)
[40. INT. Restaurant. Day.]
(Sara approaches a table full of well-dressed men and women. At the head of the table is her father, Governor Frank Tancredi.)
Frank: Excuse me a minute...
(He gets up and walks over to her.)
Frank: Sara. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Sara: I guess to congratulations. I can't believe I had to hear about it on the news.
Frank: Oh, the VP thing. Well, that's just talk.
Sara: Is it?
Frank: Yeah, what was it your mother used to say? "It's always nice to be invited to the dance even if you don't have the right shoes"?
Sara: Yeah, she also used to say, "Your father's a lying bastard", but I figured that was just the booze talking.
Frank: Yeah, it's always nice to see you, Sara. Is there something that you needed or did you just come by to...
Sara: Just tell me something. Did you...did you look at the information I gave you from Lincoln Burrows' attorneys?
Frank: Sweetheart, move on. The man's attorneys had a window to present new evidence. They didn't. Now that window is closed.
Sara: I just need to know, did you look at the information?
Frank: Come on, Sara.
Sara: Answer me!
Frank: I swear, working at Fox River has changed you. You're always saying you want to make a difference? At that place? It's too late. You should be a teacher, so that you can get to these people before they become...
Sara: Did you look at the information?
Frank: I didn't need to! I supported the findings of the court. Now, if you have a problem with the verdict, go after them. But before you do, I suggest you look at the guy's rap sheet. And ask yourself if the world will be a better place with Lincoln Burrows walking the streets.
Sara: Just tell me one thing. Did they promise you the vice-presidency before or after you signed his death warrant?
Frank: I will not discuss morality with an addict and a thief. You wanna talk reality, Sara? How many times did I use my influence keep you and one of your junkie boyfriends out of jail? How many? Was it three, four times?
(Sara starts to walk away.)
Frank: I swear, Sara, it's funny, you know? You have no trouble whatsoever with me bending the law, especially when it's bent in your direction. Grow up.
[41. INT. A-Wing cell block. Day.]
(COs Stolte and Patterson debate about Bellick; Abruzzi listens in from his cell.)
Patterson: You talk to that Tweener kid?
Stolte: Yeah, he says he got his days mixed up. But I dunno.
Patterson: What?
Stolte: Something about the way he said it.
Patterson: Oh, come on, man, if Bellick's just takin' a personal, I don't wanna get the guy busted.
Stolte: And if he's not? I'm just saying. It's 6:30 and no-one's heard from the guy. We gotta tell Pope.
Patterson: Okay. I'll tell him.
[42. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
(Veronica rushes around getting ready.)
Veronica: Did you call a cab for the airport?
Nick: No, not yet.
Veronica: Why not? Come on, the flight leaves in an hour!
Nick: Yeah, I, uh...I'm starting to think that us going to Montana might not be a good move.
Veronica: What are you talking about?
Nick: What if...what if you are right, and the smoking g*n is in that house? You think they're just gonna let us walk in there and make a citizen's arrest?
Veronica: Look, Nick, I don't know what your deal is lately, but I'm getting on that plane with or without you.
(Nick moves behind her and pulls out a g*n from his waistband.)
Nick: I can't let you do that.
(Veronica turns around to see Nick aiming the g*n at her.)
ACT 4.
[43. INT. Nick's apartment. Day.]
Veronica: All this time, you were one of them? Who's pulling your leash, Nick? Steadman? Kellerman? Look at me. I want you to remember my face when you do whatever the hell it is you're gonna do.
(Nick can't do that.)
Veronica: Look at me! You're a coward.
[Camera sh*t of the inmates walking outside to the yard.]
[44. INT. Outside Warden Pope's Office. Day.]
(Pope comes out of his office with Patterson.)
Becky: Oh, Scofield's outside, sir.
Pope: Okay. I want you to try every number we have for Brad Bellick. Try his home first. His mother usually answers.
(Michael watches nervously as Becky dials.)
Becky (on phone): Mrs Bellick? Hi. One moment please, I have Warden Pope here for you.
Pope (on phone): Mrs Bellick? No cause for alarm, no, no. We just...we haven't seen him, and we were wondering if he might be home under the weather.
(Michael fidgets with the L-shaped support piece anxiously.)
Pope (on phone): So Brad called you when he pulled in this morning? And he said he was here? Okay, well, uh, thank you, Mrs Bellick. We'll keep you posted. I'm sure he's fine.
(He hangs up and speaks to Becky.)
Pope: Radio Mack, have him check the parking lot for Bellick's truck. If he finds it, have him call me immediately.
(He beckons to Michael, sitting outside. Michael comes in.)
Becky (on radio): 457, this is Base. What's your 20?
[Camera sh*t of Fox River - exterior - sky turning darker.]
[45. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Sucre looks down at a photograph of himself and Maricruz.)
Maricruz (v/o): I'm pregnant, Fernando. I'm gonna have your son.
[Flashback: In the visitation room.
Maricruz: All I know is, I'm really scared. I'm really scared to do this alone.
End Flashback.]
(Sucre strokes the photograph tenderly.)
[46. INT. Abruzzi's cell. Night.]
Reverend Mailor (v/o): John, it's never too late. If you agree to accept Christ into your heart and turn from your sin, He will forgive you and save you in eternity.
(Abruzzi takes off his cross necklace.)
[Flashback: Michael and Abruzzi in the yard.
Michael: I'll give you Fibonacci. When the time is time.
Abruzzi: The time is right now.
Michael: No, the time is right when you and I are both standing outside those walls.
End Flashback.]
(Abruzzi puts the necklace under his pillow.)
[47. INT. T-Bag's cell. Night.]
(T-Bag sits on his bunk and unfolds a napkin. Written on it is Susan Hollander's name and address.)
[Flashback: Visitation Room.
T-Bag: I'm gonna get out of here some day. And when I do, don't think I won't remember what your front steps look like.
(Susan spits on the glass and storms out.)
End Flashback.]
(T-Bag gets up off the bunk angrily.)
[48. INT. C-Note's cell. Night.]
(C-Note paces the floor.)
[Flashback:
C-Note: I'm being shipped back off.
(His young daughter Dede hugs him.)
End Flashback.]
(C-Note walks to his cell door. On the opposite tier, Trumpets and Trumpets' cell mate are staring back at him thr*at.)
[49. INT. Tweener's cell. Night.]
(Tweener stands by the cell door.)
[Flashback:
Avocado: How many times I gotta say it? You only got one thing I need.
(He drops the sheet across the cell door.)
End Flashback.]
(Tweener looks at Avocado's gear on the top bunk. He grabs his jumpsuit, stuffs it in the toilet and covers it with peroxide.)
[50. INT. Westmoreland's cell. Night.]
(Westmoreland looks at his daughter's picture in his gold pocket watch.)
Pope (v/o): I've got some bad news, Charles. Your daughter's got oesophageal cancer and she wants to see you while there's still time.
[Flashback:
C-Note: How long does she have?
Westmoreland: Hospital says a week.
End Flashback.]
(Westmoreland lifts up his sweatshirt, revealing a soaked bloody bandage. He takes it off and puts a new one on, fighting the urge to scream in pain.)
[51. INT. Lincoln's cell. Night.]
(Lincoln sits on the floor, handcuffed, and shackled to the wall.)
[Flashback: Lincoln remembers being strapped into the electric chair.]
[52. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Nurse Katie comes out of the room and locks it behind her.)
[53. EXT. Lake. Night.]
(Sara walks along the lakefront alone, thinking.)
Pope (v/o): I read somewhere where the actual Taj Mahal appears pink in the morning, milky white in the evening and golden when the moon shines. It changes, they say, to depict the different emotions of a woman.
[54. INT. Pope's office. Night.]
Pope: I can tell you something, if we don't get this thing fixed tonight, I don't wanna know what kind of emotion my wife is gonna have if I walk through that door empty-handed. It's strange, I mean, it just gave way. We lifted it up and then a support beam snapped.
(Michael puts the L shaped support beam down on the table.)
Pope: What's this?
Michael: The support. The one that holds up that beam.
Pope: You took it?
Michael: I'm sorry...but I needed to get back in here.
Pope: I...I don't understand, why would you...?
(Michael reaches out a hand: he's got the shank in it.)
Michael: I'm breaking out. And you're gonna make sure my brother goes with me. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x20 - Tonight"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
(Continued directly from the previous episode. Michael points the shank at Warden Pope.)
Pope: You son of a bitch!
Michael: We're gonna take this real easy, Warden. I just need you to do a couple of things for me.
Pope: You just bought yourself ten years.
(CO Mack's voice comes over the radio on the side.)
CUT TO: CO Mack with Bellick's truck in the parking lot.
Mack: Warden, Bellick's truck is here, sir. I'm staring right at it. Shall we start looking for him?
(In the office, Michael picks up the radio.)
Pope: Michael, if you just put that shank...
(Michael holds the radio close to Pope.)
Michael: Tell the guard you spoke with Bellick, and he said he's taking some personal time.
Pope: You can't possibly get away with this.
Michael: I don't think you want to find out how badly I want to get my brother out of here.
(He holds the shank up thr*at, and holds the radio closer.)
Mack (o/s): Sir?
Pope: Mack.
Mack (o/s): Yes, sir.
Pope: I just spoke with Bellick. He's walked into town. He's taking some personal time.
Mack (o/s): Is he all right?
(Pope hesitates. Michael grips the shank.)
Pope: He's fine.
Mack (o/s): Copy that.
Michael: Okay. I just need you to do one more thing.
[1. INT. Pope's office. Night.]
(Michael uses parcel tape to tie Pope to his office chair.)
Michael: Have Lincoln transferred to the infirmary. And he needs to be there overnight.
Pope: How long have you been planning this?
Michael: That is a conversation for another day, Warden.
(He holds the shank and the radio out.)
Pope: Pope to Base.
C.O. (o/s): Go ahead, sir.
Pope: Have Lincoln Burrows transferred to the infirmary. I want him held overnight for tests.
C.O. (o/s): Copy that.
Michael: Once we're gone, you'll find Bellick in a hole under the guards' break room. I'm sorry you got caught in the middle, but one day you'll understand why I did this.
Pope: You'll never make it over the wall.
(Michael gags Pope with a tie, and drags him into the closet. He walks over to the table and picks up the radio.)
Michael: I'm sorry, Henry.
(He knocks Pope out with the radio, and closes the closet doors.)
[2. INT. Pope's office. Night.]
(Michael picks up the office phone and dials out. Then he places the receiver on the desk and walks out.)
[3. INT. Reception. Night.]
(Becky looks up from the desk.)
Becky: Everything all right?
Michael: Yeah, uh, he's getting an earful from someone over at the DOC.
(Becky looks over at the switchboard and sees the red light for Pope's office.)
Becky: Oh. Is he on with Mr. Drushal?
Michael: I'm not sure, but, uh, it's turning into a conference call and he said he didn't want to be disturbed.
Becky: Oh, well, of course.
Michael: Have a good night.
Becky: You know, Michael...
(Michael stops in the doorway and turns.)
Becky: You know he can be a big old grump sometimes, but I hope you know how highly he thinks of you. There's no way he'd get that Taj Mahal done in time for his anniversary without your help.
(Michael nods slightly and turns to leave.)
[Camera sh*t of the Storage area - night.]
[4. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Bellick continues to furiously rub his restraining ropes against the jagged bolt in the pipe.)
[5. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Michael is escorted back into his cell. Sucre is looking very anxious.)
Michael: It's 6:55.
Sucre: That's five minutes till tier.
Michael: It's one hour till the next count. One hour to get over that wall and as far away from this prison as possible.
[6. INT. Westmoreland's cell. Night.]
(Westmoreland puts his glasses case in his mouth while he takes off the bloody cloth on his wound. He replaces it with a clean sock, every movement bringing excruciating pain.)
[7. INT. T-Bag's cell. Night.]
(T-Bag waits for the cell doors to open. He looks across the tier and locks eyes with Abruzzi. They glare at each other thr*at.)
[8. INT. Tweener's cell. Night.]
(Tweener wrings out his jumpsuit in the peroxide-filled toilet, and panics when he sees blue spots.)
[9. INT. C-Note's cell. Night.]
(C-Note jumps off his bunk, pulling on a grey sweatshirt. He looks across the tier and makes eye contact with Trumpets. Trumpets pulls his fist across his throat in a 'you're d*ad' gesture.)
[10. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
Michael: You unscrewed the toilet, right?
(Sucre looks up apologetically.)
Michael: That's five minutes we don't have.
Sucre: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just...
(Michael reaches in the book for the bolt.)
Sucre: I just...I just feel like my head is spinning a little.
(He gets up and vomits in the toilet.)
Michael: Are you okay?
Sucre: If we get caught...I can't do ten more years, bro. I can't!
(A buzzer sounds and the cell doors slide open.)
Guard (o/s): Tier time. One hour.
Michael: There's no going back now.
OPENING CREDITS.
[11. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Abruzzi makes his way up the tier to Michael's cell. He furtively slips his bleached jumpsuit to Sucre, who hides it under the mattress.)
(Manche walks up, T-Bag behind him.)
T-Bag: If you get stuck in one of them pipes, boy...
Michael: Bull.
(The inmates all appear casual, leaning over the railings.)
T-Bag: Keep walkin', bull, keep walkin'...
(Westmoreland approaches them as the guard walks away.)
Michael: You okay?
Westmoreland: Great.
(Sucre stashes Westmoreland's jumpsuit under the mattress.)
(C-Note and Tweener approach Michael's cell. C-Note leans over the railing, watching Trumpets who is staring at him. Tweener hands his jumpsuit to Sucre.)
Sucre: It's got blue spots!
Tweener: Yo, I got a late start.
Sucre: Only one thing you needed to do.
Michael: Lock the gate. I gotta finish this off.
(Sucre angrily puts Tweener's jumpsuit under the mattress and then barricades the gate while Michael finishes unscrewing the toilet.)
Abruzzi (to T-Bag): Said a prayer for you, Theodore. Said a prayer for us all.
(T-Bag stays silent, looking nervous. C-Note looks down at Trumpets, also nervous. He walks into the cell. The cell is now being flanked by the entire escape crew, bar Michael and C-Note.)
[12. INT. A-Wing cell block. Night.]
(Trumpets' crew surround him. One of them hands him a sharpened nail.)
Trumpets: I want him d*ad. Anybody gets in the way gets run over.
(They all march up the stairs.)
[13. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Bellick finally cuts through the ropes that are restraining his hands and feet together. He hears voices above him.)
Patterson (o/s): Hey, you makin' coffee?
CUT TO: Patterson and Mack in the break room.
Patterson: Just a half a cup, Mack. If I have more than that, I'll be up all night. Thank you, bro.
CUT TO: Bellick. He tries to call out but he is still tightly gagged and it's muffled.
[14. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Michael unscrews fast. C-Note hovers next to him.)
C-Note: How many more screws?
[15. INT. A-Wing cell block. Night.]
(Trumpets and his crew march down the tier towards Michael's cell. Abruzzi, T-Bag and Sucre are still blocking the cell entrance. Tweener, Manche and Westmoreland stand by.)
Trumpets: Get C-Note out here.
Abruzzi: Huh? Haven't seen him, man.
Trumpets: That's real touching and all - you sticking up for a brother. But y'all need to step aside. Right now.
(Suddenly the escape crew are surrounded at all sides by Trumpets' boys. They all look disinterested as Trumpets inches into Michael's cell. He holds the nail out ready. All he sees is Michael sitting on the lower bunk.)
Michael: Something you need?
(Trumpets looks under the bunk.)
Trumpets: Where is he?
Abruzzi: Told you. We haven't seen him.
(Trumpets glares round at them all, suspiciously, then leaves the cell.)
PA: Wilson, medical detail. Five minutes. Ramirez...
CUT TO: C-Note, sitting fearfully in the hole behind the toilet.
[16. INT. Nick's apartment. Night.]
(Veronica sits across from Nick, his g*n on the coffee table.)
Veronica: This whole time, everything you said was a lie.
Nick: No. No, I never stopped fighting for Lincoln's innocence, never. They approached me after I took this case.
Veronica: Who's they?
Nick: John Abruzzi.
Veronica: John Abruzzi, the Mob boss?
Nick: Yes.
Veronica: How much did he pay you?
Nick: My father's freedom.
Veronica: You said your father was exonerated.
Nick: I lied, okay? I agreed to keep tabs on you, in exchange Abruzzi had some guy who was already doing a life sentence cop to the m*rder that my father didn't commit. And that's how I got him out of jail.
Veronica: Your dad's life for mine.
Nick: No-one needs to get hurt here, Veronica.
Veronica: Oh, you think Abruzzi wants legal advice from me?
Nick: All you have to do is make sure Michael gives this Abruzzi guy what he needs to know. That's it.
Veronica: Nick. You don't think they're gonna let me live, do you?
Nick: I gotta believe that.
(The phone rings. He answers it.)
Nick: Yeah. Okay. Right.
(He hangs up and grabs his g*n.)
Nick: Stand up. We have to go. Get up!
(He pulls her to her feet and moves to the door.)
[17. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(Michael stands by the hole. He holds out a jumpsuit.)
Michael: Charles.
(Westmoreland takes his jumpsuit and goes into the hole. Tweener goes into the cell, and takes his jumpsuit from Michael, entering the hole after Westmoreland.)
Michael: Sucre, drop the sheet. Manche, you're next.
(Manche looks nervous.)
Michael: Let's move it!
(Manche looks like he might get stuck in the hole.)
Michael (to T-Bag): This one's for you.
(T-Bag takes the jumpsuit and pushes Manche through the hole with his boot.)
T-Bag: Move your fat ass!
[18. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Bellick continues to scream but they are muffled. He tries to work the gag out by shaking his head.)
[19. INT. Michael's cell. Night.]
(T-Bag is about to enter the hole when he realizes Abruzzi is behind him and stands back up.)
Michael (handing Abruzzi a jumpsuit): That's for you.
T-Bag (to Abruzzi): Age before beauty.
(Abruzzi stares at him for several seconds before smiling widely. He goes into the hole. T-Bag follows. Michael hands a jumpsuit to Sucre.)
Sucre: So you got the key to the infirmary?
(Michael shakes some foot powder into his pocket.)
Michael: Not exactly.
[20. EXT. Lake Michigan. Night.]
(Sara stands by the lake, deep in thought.)
[21. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Michael pulls the toilet back to the wall. C-Note and Abruzzi move a shelving unit that is covering a hole Michael started on during the riots.)
C-Note: All right. How are we doing, baby?
Michael: Not good. We're already ten minutes behind. Let's move it.
(The cons move through the hole quickly, one by one.)
[22. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Bellick uses the edge of the hole to try and rip through the tape gag on his mouth.)
[23. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Michael moves quickly through the tunnels, the other inmates behind him.)
CUT TO: Bellick, who has cut through the duct tape.
Bellick (yells): Help!
CUT TO: Michael stops quickly.
CUT TO: Bellick, yelling.
Bellick: HELP!
ACT 2.
[24. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
Bellick: Help! Help!
[25. EXT. Storage area. Night.]
(Mack looks over at Patterson, having heard something.)
Mack: Did you hear that?
Patterson: Hear what?
(They walk back towards the break room.)
[26. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
Bellick: Help!
(Suddenly a hand clamps over his mouth. It's T-Bag and he's holding a blade close to Bellick's face.)
Bellick: Hel...
T-Bag: Shh!
(He puts the Kn*fe to Bellick's throat thr*at. They wait.)
Mack (o/s): You hear anything?
[27. INT. Break room. Night.]
Patterson: There's nobody here, man.
Mack: I swear I heard something.
(They listen again, but hear nothing.)
Mack: Come on, let's go.
[28. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
T-Bag: You scream and I'll cut out your windpipe, got me?
Michael: I need his jacket and his hat.
(T-Bag hands the blade to Michael, pushes Bellick forward and drags him through the tunnel. The other inmates follow.)
[29. EXT. Street. Night.]
(Sara sits in her car, deep in thought. She unclips her safety belt and gets out.)
[30. INT. Infirmary Lobby. Night.]
(Sara walks through the foyer and up to the gate.)
Guard: Evening, Doc.
(He buzzes her through.)
[31. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
Bellick: Brains of the outfit, huh, Scofield? (to the others) He's leading you off a cliff, boys.
C-Note: You're acting like you still in charge. Shut your mouth, bitch.
(Sucre emerges from the pipes, followed by Manche.)
Sucre: So pendajo!
(Bellick looks up at the pipe and locks eyes with Tweener.)
Bellick: You. (to T-Bag) You know, he's...
(Tweener punches him to shut him up and then forces the duct tape back into Bellick's mouth. Abruzzi comes out of the pipes.)
Abruzzi: Ciao, bello.
(T-Bag forces Bellick's head up to look at him, then just smiles widely and moves on through the pipes. Michael puts on Bellick's jacket. Bellick looks m*rder.)
[Camera sh*t of a train going along the track - night.]
[32. INT. Nick's car. Night.]
Veronica: Nick, please, don't do this.
Nick: Tell Michael to give Abruzzi what he wants.
Veronica: Please, Nick, come on, they're gonna k*ll me! Nick...
(Nick pulls a pillowcase over her head.)
Veronica: Nick! No! No! Nick...
[Camera sh*t of the grate, coming down the pipe to the inmates sitting below.]
[33. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
Michael: Everyone put your coveralls on. I'll be back in a minute.
C-Note: Yo, where you goin', man? Hey!
Sucre: You heard him. Come on.
C-Note: This is ridiculous, man.
[34. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Michael, now wearing Bellick's jacket, walks until he finds a small utility box. He takes a handful of the foot powder from his pocket and blows it on the keypad. When he looks he can see the powder has stuck to keys 1, 3, 5 and 8.)
Michael: 1, 3, 5, 8.
(He presses the enter key but the light blinks red.)
Michael: 3, 5 , 8 , 1. Enter.
(The light blinks red again.)
Michael: 8, 1, 3, 5. Enter.
(Still the light blinks red.)
[35. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Westmoreland moves his jacket and puts his hand on the bleeding wound. C-Note notices, but says nothing.)
[36. INT. Government building. Night.]
(Two men sit at a conference table.)
Suit: The scope of this, which we're all aware of, can cloud judgment. I suggest we look at this in very simple terms. We have an employee, she's not working out. We f*re her. It needs to be that simple.
Suit#2: But she's the Vice President of the United States.
[Camera sh*t of Caroline pacing her office, drinking from a spirit glass.]
Suit: And that's all she'll ever be. She's plummeting in the polls. If we keep her as our candidate, we're handing the presidency to her opponent. And then everything we hoped to gain with Caroline in office is all gone.
Suit#2: Fine. We ask her to drop out. But how do we know she'll keep her mouth shut on everything she knows?
Suit: Samantha?
(Agent Samantha Brinker steps from the shadows.)
Brinker: Yes, sir.
Suit: I need a very frank assessment from you right now. Based on your contact with her, will the Vice President go quietly?
Brinker: No. Absolutely not. Becoming President is the most important thing to her. If we take that away, she has absolutely nothing to lose. And I guarantee you, she will do everything she can to take everyone she can down with her.
Suit: We need to make a move on her. Now.
[37. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Sara walks towards her room. Before she gets there, the elevator opens and two COs escort Lincoln to the infirmary.)
Orderly: You okay, Doc?
(Sara doesn't answer. She unlocks the door to the infirmary and walks in. As she looks up she notices vials of Morphine on the shelf.)
[Flashback: Sara back in the days when she was a drug addict, sh**ting morphine into her vein.]
[Camera sh*t of two guards walking through the grounds.]
[38. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(Sucre looks up at the grate.)
Manche (panicking): What's going on?
Sucre: I don't know.
Manche: What are we supposed to do? Just sit here?
Sucre: I don't know. I don't know!
Manche: Man, this whole thing is messed up, bro!
T-Bag: Feel free not to come, Gordo.
[39. INT. Warden Pope's reception room. Night.]
(Becky looks across at the switchboard on the telephone. The red light is still on. She looks over at the office.)
[40. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
(The inmates are waiting when suddenly an alarm blares out. They all panic, looking up at the grate.)
CUT TO: Michael, looking at the utility box.
ACT 3.
[41. INT. Pipes system. Night.]
T-Bag: We're screwed. We're screwed!
C-Note: C'mon, let's go!
(They are about to head back when Michael appears.)
Sucre: Michael, we gotta go back.
Michael: We're moving forward. Stick with the plan.
C-Note: Do your ears work, fool? Do you hear that?
Michael: It's the f*re alarm in the psych ward.
Sucre: How do you know?
Michael: I set it off.
Sucre: Why?
[42. EXT. Psych Ward. Night.]
(The psych ward inmates slowly exit the building.)
PA: Exit the building in an orderly fashion.
(Michael watches them all from beneath the grate.)
[43. EXT. Airstrip. Night.]
[Caption: Goose Park Airstrip. 10 miles from Fox River.]
(An aeroplane touches down on the runway. Maggio gets out, followed by a pilot.)
Pilot: We're in the sticks. You know how many people would hear a jet like this landing?
Maggio: Don't worry about it.
(He holds a police scanner in his hands.)
[44. EXT. Psych ward. Night.]
Orderly: False alarm. Back to the psych ward. Everyone!
(The psych ward inmates turn around and walk back.)
Orderly: Walk in with me now. Very good. Just gotta keep on walking.
Orderly#2: Come on guys, you heard him. Come on, let's go. It's cold out here. That's it.
(As the last of them walk away, the camera pans to the grate. Michael's hand comes up to move it aside.)
Orderly (o/s): Come on, Davy, let's go...
(Someone breathing heavily watches Michael and the escape crew hurry across the yard.)
[45. INT. Psych Ward. Night.]
(Sklar is about to close the gate after the inmates.)
Michael: Hold up! Got some stragglers.
Sklar: Cool.
Michael: Let's go.
(Some of the escape crew file past Sklar, but Sklar singles out Tweener.)
Sklar: Wait a minute. That's not whack-shack issue. Everybody stop.
Michael: Stay where you are! I said stay where you are. (to Sklar) What's the problem?
(Sklar takes Michael to one side.)
Sklar: That's John Abruzzi right there.
Michael: Yeah, that's...that's bad news. Listen, you got that sedative you were talking about?
Sklar: Yeah.
Michael: You got some now?
Sklar: Yeah.
Michael: Let's have it.
(Sklar takes it out of his pocket and hands it to Michael.)
Michael: This'll put him out, right?
Sklar: Like a light.
(He turns back to look at Abruzzi and Michael sticks the needle in Sklar's neck.)
Michael: Perfect.
(Sklar falls to the floor, unconscious.)
Michael: Let's go. Let's go.
(They all hurry into Psych Ward.)
Michael: Straight down the hall, straight down the hall.
[46. EXT. Street - in Nick's car. Night.]
Veronica: Nick, please don't do this!
(Nick pulls the car over and opens the back passenger door. Veronica holds up her shackled hands in defence. Nick pulls the pillowcase off her head and cuts the ties on her hands.)
Nick: Come on.
Veronica: What's going on?
Nick: I'm getting you to the airport. Go, go, go. Get to Blackfoot and you find Steadman. There's still time for you to get to the bottom of this thing.
(He opens the passenger door of a cab and pushes Veronica into it.)
Nick: Take this, take this. And I'm sorry about this, okay? You gotta believe me. I'm sorry. (to the driver) Take her to O'Hare.
Driver (o/s): Okay.
(The taxi cab drives away and Nick dials on his cell phone.)
Nick: Dad. You still got the key to my apartment? Okay, just meet me there. I'll explain it later. Just meet me there.
[47. INT. Psych Ward. Night.]
(In the psych ward basement, the cons open the hatch and drop down into the tunnels that lead to the infirmary. Michael walks over to Tweener.)
Tweener (nervously): Halfway there, yo.
(He tries to walk to the hatch but Michael puts out an arm, pushing him backwards.)
Tweener: Wassup?
Michael: I know you told Bellick.
Tweener: I don't know what you're talkin' about...
Michael: But I owed you and I pay my debts. But as soon as we're out of here, you go your way, we'll go ours. You understand?
(Michael drops down the hatch to the tunnel and leads the way, the other cons following. Tweener comes down and follows last.)
[48. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Sara is leaving the infirmary. She closes the door without locking it and turns around to bump into Nurse Katie.)
Katie: Oh, Sara. It was a false alarm at the psych ward, that's what all that racket was about.
Sara: Good. Thank you.
(She hurries on. Katie looks surprised.)
Sara: Uh, good night.
[49. INT. Concrete tunnel. Night.]
(The escape team hurry down the tunnel. Westmoreland drags behind.)
C-Note: Hey, look, maybe it ain't worth it if it's gonna k*ll you.
Westmoreland: I'm getting outta here.
[Camera hovers behind them, where someone with heavy breathing is still watching them and following them.]
[50. INT. Infirmary Lobby. Night.]
(Sara hurries to the gate. A guard lets her and Nurse Katie through, then goes back to his post.)
(Michael peers round the corner further down the corridor. It's empty. He crosses the hall and beckons to the others.)
[51. INT. Caroline Reynolds' office. Night.]
(Vice President Reynolds throws her drink glass into the fireplace, where it smashes.)
Kellerman: You're overreacting.
Caroline: I don't mean to shock you, Paul. But I am privy to things that you're not, and I am telling you the Company is selling me down the river.
Kellerman: It's a Legends for Literacy fundraiser. It doesn't mean anything. It's a rubber-chicken dinner.
Caroline: Which I got uninvited to on the day of. You don't do that to your candidate unless a candidate is no longer your candidate.
Kellerman: Caroline, you've been drinking, you're upset.
Caroline: How can you not understand this is so beyond me. I would think, after being by my side for fifteen years, you would have gained at least a rudimentary understanding of how things work.
Kellerman: Listen to me. Listen to me. They're doing this to see how you will react. So you need to be strong. Be presidential and you'll get through this. We'll get through this.
[52. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Lincoln sits on a chair, opposite a guard who is reading Truckers Monthly.)
Guard: I'm figuring I'll need a two-inch lift if I'm gonna run with a new set of 30 by nine and a half’s. Question is, add coil springs or just stay with the spacers? What do you think?
(Lincoln sits up straight suddenly, looking at the doorway. The guard spins round to see Michael enter, along with the rest of the escape crew.)
Guard: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, hey! I ain't a hero for fourteen dollars an hour. You do what you will.
Michael: Uncuff my brother.
Guard: You got it, boss.
(The guard unlocks the handcuff, Lincoln rubs his wrist. He leaves the keys hanging in the cuffs.)
Guard (to Michael): Pretend I ain't here, boss.
T-Bag (laughs): Yeah. You and the radio.
(He punches him and the guard collapses, unconscious. T-Bag hovers over him and then notices the handcuffs and the keys.)
[53. INT. Nick's apartment. Night.]
Nick: Dad, are you here? Dad, you gotta get ready, we gotta go.
(Nick's dad appears in the living room, but he is being held at g*n by the man in the trenchcoat who thr*at Nick in the electronics store in an earlier episode.)
Trenchcoat: How's it going, Savrinn?
[54. INT. Warden Pope's reception. Night.]
(Becky looks over at the switchboard again. Pope's line is still busy. She reaches for the phone, then has second thoughts. Instead she presses the intercom button.)
Man's Voice (on the line): And I get why the guy's lighting the candle, but why are the others playing the bagpipes?
(There is laughter on the line.)
Man's Voice (on the line): Welcome to Joke Line! Just $2.99 a minute!
Becky: What the hell...?!
[55. INT. Nick's apartment. Night.]
Trenchcoat: Where's the lawyer?
Nick: She's gone.
Trenchcoat: Yeah? Then so's your Dad.
(He points the g*n at Nick's dad's head.)
Nick: No, no, no! Don't.
Trenchcoat: Have you got her or not?
Nick: I can find her.
Trenchcoat: And will you have her in front of me in the next two minutes?
(Nick hesitates.)
Trenchcoat: It's a very simple question, Nick.
Nick: No. Just give me a chance. You've just gotta listen to me...
(Trenchcoat sh**t Nick's dad in the head.)
Nick: No! No!
Trenchcoat: Hey! This is happening right now! You have one more chance. Where's the lawyer?
(Nick hesitates again. Trenchcoat sh**t him in the shoulder. Nick staggers backwards.)
Trenchcoat: Where's the lawyer?
(Nick laughs.)
Nick: She's about a million miles away from here. You're never gonna find her. Why don't you just suck it?
(Trenchcoat fires the g*n, sh**ting Nick in the head.)
ACT 4.
[Camera pans over Fox River - night.]
[56. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(The escape crew file into the infirmary.)
(Camera hovers behind them - someone with heavy breathing is still following.)
(Michael puts out his hand for the infirmary doorknob.)
Sucre: It better be open, bro.
(Michael's hand closes round the doorknob. The rest of the team wait in tense silence. Michael turns it, and the door opens.)
Michael: We're in.
[57. INT. Sara's car. Night.]
(Sara sits in her car crying, devastated about what she has just done.)
[58. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(The team move into action.)
Michael: First we gotta get that window out. Then we gotta get the bars off.
(Sucre moves to work on the window.)
Sucre: Watch it, watch it.
(Westmoreland stops, blood seeping through his jumpsuit now.)
(C-Note follows Michael down the hall to the f*re hose.)
C-Note: Is this gonna work?
Michael: We're about to find out.
(The team unravel the hose.)
[59. INT. Pope's office. Night.]
(Becky knocks on the door.)
Becky: Warden? Warden?
(She notices the room is empty and frowns.)
[60. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Sucre ties the hose around the bars on the window. Tweener, Westmoreland and Manche put pillows on the floor to catch the bars, to minimize noise.)
Sucre: Ready.
(The team pull the hose tight, the end tied to something inside the elevator. Michael moves to press the button which will send the elevator down.)
(The elevator won't close over the hose, and dings open again.)
T-Bag: What now, genius?
(Michael presses the 'down' button again but the same thing happens.)
T-Bag: Take your time. We got...(he checks Michael's watch)... fifteen minutes to get over that wall.
(Tweener pushes through the group and goes into the elevator. He presses the button and the doors slide shut. The team hurries for cover, watching as the hose pulls tight.)
[Camera sh*t of the elevator moving down the shaft.]
(The team waits anxiously, watching the bars. The bars creak and groan, and finally the bolts give way. The bars fall forwards onto the pile of pillows along with the entire window frame.)
Michael: We're through.
[61. INT. Pope's office. Night.]
(Becky walks in with Stolte.)
Stolte: You're sure you didn't see him walk out?
Becky: Positive.
[62. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(The cons remove their jumpsuits.)
Michael: Let's go, guys, I need those suits.
(Tweener appears in the doorway, having come back up in the elevator.)
Abruzzi: Good job, kiddo!
[Camera moves to show the person with the heavy breathing is approaching them.]
(Michael looks up to see their unwelcome visitor. It's Haywire - and he's holding a radio.)
Haywire: I knew it.
Michael: Haywire.
Haywire: I knew it. As soon as I saw you go into Psych Ward, I knew it. Either I come with...
(Lincoln, Michael and T-Bag make to come forward and get him. Haywire holds up the radio and they stop d*ad.)
Haywire: Oh! You want me to make a little person-to-person call here?
Michael: Haywire, just take it easy.
Haywire: The other person being a Correctional Officer.
Lincoln: He's in.
Abruzzi: What?!
Lincoln: He's in.
(Haywire grins in delight.)
Abruzzi: Are you crazy?
(Lincoln gets up to the window and gets on the cabling to cross to the wall.)
Abruzzi: Okay, after Lincoln, we go alphabetically.
C-Note: Whoa, whoa, hold on, A-bruzzi!
Abruzzi: You want a seat on the plane? Line forms after me!
(Abruzzi gets up on the window ledge, piling the white jumpsuits on Lincoln as he crosses.)
Abruzzi: Go ahead. Go, go, go.
[63. INT. Warden Pope's office. Night.]
(Stolte calls to another CO.)
Stolte: Hey, Roy.
Roy: Yeah?
Stolte: Did you see Pope leave?
Roy: No.
Stolte: No way he could have walked by?
Roy: I haven't left my post since I punched in.
[64. EXT. Prison yard. Night.]
(Lincoln makes his way across the cabling - and almost slips - but manages to regain his hold. Michael, on the window ledge, checks his watch. Lincoln reaches the other side and puts down the white jumpsuits over the barbed wire. He signals Abruzzi.)
Abruzzi: All right.
(Abruzzi begins to cross the cabling. It creaks where it attaches to the infirmary wall.)
[Camera sh*t of Lincoln and Michael, each looking anxious.]
(Sucre begins to climb the cabling.)
[65. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Westmoreland gasps and falls to the floor.)
C-Note: Hey, hey, hey.
Michael: Charles.
C-Note: You okay, old man?
Westmoreland: No.
(Haywire looks over at them.)
Michael: Let's take a look.
(Michael and C-Note roll up Westmoreland's sweatshirt to reveal the wound and a lot of blood.)
(Haywire takes his chance, and goes to climb the cabling.)
Michael: It's just a few more steps. You can make it.
Westmoreland: Oh, I could make it another foot. Maybe two. But why? I wasn't going for me. I was going for my daughter. And you can do that. Will you promise me?
Michael: Yes, I promise.
Westmoreland: Money, buried under a silo. At the Double K Ranch just outside of Tooele, Utah. There's plenty to split. The government didn't want any more embarrassment after I took all the money so they lowballed it to the papers. The truth is Michael, it's not one million under that silo. There's five million dollars there.
(C-Note looks at Michael, shocked. Michael looks around to check who else heard: T-Bag pretends not to have heard but it's obvious he did. Manche looks shocked. Tweener, by the window, also heard. Tweener heads out the window onto the cabling.)
[66. INT. Pope's office. Night.]
(COs Patterson and Mack Andrews enter the office with Stolte and Becky.)
Patterson: Did you check the chow hall?
Mack: Yeah, nothing.
Patterson: Anybody try his cell phone?
Becky: Oh!
(She goes to the desk phone and dials.)
[67. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
Westmoreland: Give Anna her papa's love.
(Michael clasps his hand.)
Michael: I will. I will.
(T-Bag climbs the cabling. It creaks even further and shifts out of the wall at the infirmary side.)
Michael: Here. Easy, easy.
(Michael puts a pillow behind Westmoreland. He looks across at the window: C-Note climbs out onto the cabling.)
[68. INT. Pope's office. Night.]
(Pope's cell phone rings as Becky holds the office phone in her hand.)
Stolte: Now where's that coming from?
(They all look at the closet and Becky goes over to open the doors. She gasps.)
Becky: Oh my God!
Patterson (on his radio): I have a code three in the Warden's office. I repeat, a code three. Patterson to base.
(Becky removes the gag from Pope's mouth.)
Pope (drowsily): Sound the alarm. Sound the alarm.
Patterson (on his radio): Patterson to base. Right now.
Pope: Sound the alarm!
[69. EXT. Prison yard. Night.]
(C-Note finishes his climb. Michael and Manche are left in the infirmary, with the dying Westmoreland. Lincoln gestures for the next person.)
Manche: Yo, bro, we gotta go!
Westmoreland: Go, Michael. Go and don't look back.
(As Michael goes over to Manche, Westmoreland's eyes glass over.)
Manche: No, no, no. I'd better go last.
(Michael grabs the cabling.)
Lincoln: Come on, Michael! Come on. Come on!
(Michael steps onto the wall and grabs the cabling.)
[Camera sh*t on a set of floodlights: they flash on at full beam.]
[Camera sh*t on a second set, which also flash on.]
[An alarm blares around the prison.]
Lincoln: Michael, move it!
PA: All prisoners prepare for head count.
Lincoln: Come on!
(The floodlight on the watch tower scours the grounds. COs begin running out onto the grass with dogs, the dogs bark frantically.)
PA: All COs report to your appointed areas.
Lincoln: Michael, come on! Come on, Michael...Michael, come on!
(Michael is about halfway across. He keeps climbing until he's almost there...the cabling creaks and comes away from the wall and the infirmary end.)
(A panicking Manche climbs out of the window ready to grab the cabling.)
(Sirens fill the air. Michael is almost there.)
Lincoln: Come on, move it! Michael, come on! Move it!
PA: All inmates are to prepare for count immediately.
(Manche grabs the cabling but as soon as he does, it can't take his weight and it rips out of the wall. Manche falls to the ground, and Michael, still holding the cabling, hits the wall on the other side.)
Lincoln: Michael!
(Michael tries to climb up the cabling.)
Lincoln: Michael, grab my hand. Michael, give me your hand. Give me your hand, come on.
(He reaches down as far as he can.)
Lincoln: Give me your hand. Come on!
(Michael reaches up but he can't quite reach it.)
CUT TO: Manche on the floor, he gets up and runs over to the cabling. COs run round the corner and over to Manche.
C.O.: Over there! He's at the wall! Get down!
Manche: Don't sh**t! Don't sh**t!
(Several COs bundle him to the ground, restraining him, pointing g*n at him. One of the COs notices the cabling. He goes over to it and they all look up.)
[Camera pans up the cable and over the other side of the wall. Michael is gone - he made it over.]
END CREDITS. | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x21 - Go!"} | foreverdreaming |
ACT 1.
Opening Scene.
[The prison alarms scream and flood lights fill the yard on full beam.]
(Guards yank Manche, who had been bundled to the ground, to his knees.)
Manche: Don't sh**t, please! Don't sh**t, please!
C.O. (into his radio): Got a 1098. Inmates over the wall.
(Two guards cock their r*fles and aim them at Manche. C.O. JJ grips Manche's sweatshirt.)
JJ: Who was with you? Who was with you?
Manche: Nobody!
JJ: Nobody, huh?
Manche: No.
(JJ grips Manche by the neck.)
JJ: Talk! Or I swear to God I'll snap your neck right here!
Manche: I don't know...
JJ: Names. I want names!
(Manche begins to talk, with JJ choking him.)
Manche: Scofield. Burrows. Sucre. And that Vanilla Ice kid.
[Flashback images of Michael, Lincoln and Tweener in the infirmary, minutes earlier.]
(JJ grips Manche's head roughly.)
JJ: Who else?
Manche: Bagwell, man. C-Note. Abruzzi, and that bug-eyed J-cat.
[Flashback images of T-Bag, C-Note, Abruzzi and Haywire in the infirmary moments earlier.]
JJ: Was there anybody else?
Manche (choking): I don't know...
JJ: Was there anybody else?!
Manche (in tears): Westmoreland.
(JJ lets him go and Manche sobs.)
[1. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Warden Pope bursts through the doors.)
Pope: How many?
C.O.: Eight.
(Pope storms through to Sara's office, and sees the window with the bars off. He looks down at Westmoreland, lifeless, in the same place Michael left him.)
[2. INT. A-Wing Cell Block. Night.]
(The inmates are in uproar, all of them celebrating the fact that some inmates are on the run. They throw toilet paper and whatever they can find out of their cells, littering the floors.)
(Pope marches into Michael's cell and sees the hole behind the toilet. He stands at the railings, looking at the rioting inmates.)
(Patterson runs up.)
Patterson: Warden, they just found Bellick.
[3. INT. Break room. Night.]
(Stolte and another CO pull Bellick up through the hole.)
Bellick: Get me my g*n!
C.O.: Pope's already given orders for all the COs to...
Bellick: Did I stutter? Get me my g*n!
(The CO goes out to obey the order.)
Bellick: Those piles of crap, doing what they just did...they just signed their death warrant.
(The CO throws him his g*n.)
Bellick: Every last one of 'em.
(He cocks the r*fle.)
[4. EXT. Prison yard. Night.]
Guard (o/s): Open main gates!
(Bellick, Stolte and another CO walk through the main gates to where Pope is giving orders through a bullhorn.)
Pope: When those men went over the wall they made a choice. That choice makes them a thr*at to society once again. Now, as many of you know, some of those men are convicted K*llers. Now our job is to protect and ensure the safety of the general population. That means if we have to bring them down to ensure that safety, by God we will do it. This time we're playing for keeps, gentlemen. Now, it's been at least 12 minutes since they went over that wall. That's one mile on foot at best. If they've got their hands on a vehicle, they could be ten miles from here. So let's get moving!
(Dozens of officers and guards move away, squad cars and SUVs speed away into the night, some hurry away on foot.)
[5. EXT. Field. Night.]
(Feet away from the sally port, the eight men are hiding in the trees.)
C-Note: Yo, come on, man, we gotta roll.
Michael: We don't gotta do anything but wait right here and let them get ahead of us.
Sucre: I don't know if we're gonna get a chance, papi.
(Several COs have walked out of the sally port with dogs.)
C-Note: Dogs. Son of a bitch.
Michael: Nobody move.
(The K-9 units are put into the back of a truck.)
Michael: They can't smell us.
(Suddenly the dogs begin to bark and howl.)
Abruzzi: They can see us!
(The COs walk over to the trees and shine their flashlights, g*n raised.)
OPENING CREDITS.
[6. EXT. Forest. Night.]
(The eight convicts run through the thick forest surrounding the prison.)
[7. EXT. Highway. Night.]
[Caption: Highway 15. Just Outside of Great Falls, Montana.]
(Veronica is in a car on her cell phone.)
Nick (v/o): Hey, this is Nick. I can't get to the phone. Leave a message.
Veronica: Hey Nick, it's me. Look, I just landed in Montana, I'm about an hour outside of Blackfoot. And this house, it's got something to do with Terrence Steadman's m*rder, I know it. And if whatever's here can help free Lincoln then I wanted to say thank you. Bye.
CUT TO: Nick's apartment. Veronica's voice is heard over the answer phone, but Nick is slumped against the settee, d*ad, with a b*llet hole in his head.
[8. INT. Vice President Caroline Reynolds' Office. Night.]
Caroline: Soft money makes the world go round. You know it and I know it. You cut my funding and I can't run a proper campaign without it.
Agent Brinker: There is a lot of internal debate, trust me. And there's every chance that you can still win with your message and it would certainly be our...
Caroline: Oh, cut the crap. Is there anything else you want to tell me? Or did you just come here to twist the Kn*fe you stuck in my back?
Brinker: Well, actually, I came here to express our gratitude for all that you've done for us over the years. And to let you know that this isn't personal. Surely you've been in politics long enough to know that.
Caroline: Look. Is this about the energy bill?
Brinker: The energy bill has nothing to do with it.
Caroline: Why am I finding that so tough to believe? I'm a grown woman. How about you give it to me straight?
Brinker: All right. All right. The bottom line, Madam Vice President, is that you can't effect change in the Oval Office. And that is what we need the most - certitude. Simply put - you can't get things done.
Caroline: Well, maybe you don't know me so well.
Brinker: I highly suggest that in the coming weeks, as the race narrows and the candidates start falling out, that you walk away. Quietly. Of your own volition. Otherwise, maybe it'll be...of the Company's volition.
[9. EXT. Forest. Night.]
(Lincoln holds up some barbed wire for the inmates to go under. Tweener comes up too fast and slices his hand on it. He cries out in pain.)
(Haywire comes up next. Lincoln grabs a handful of his white jumpsuit.)
Lincoln: Hey, hey. Take your suit off. You're practically glowing in the dark.
Haywire: I only got skivvies on underneath 'em.
Lincoln: Take your suit off!
Haywire: I'll freeze to death!
(He pulls out of Lincoln's grip and runs under the barbed wire.)
Abruzzi: Hey. Hey!
Lincoln: Hurry up. We gotta do something about that freak.
Abruzzi: You got it. Come on, come on, hurry up. Hurry up.
(The inmates take off again running. They come to a halt just before an old mill, crouching down together.)
Sucre: Where the hell is the van?
C-Note: Eyetie! Where in the hell is the van?
Abruzzi: Ye of little faith!
(He looks around for a second, then moves.)
Abruzzi: Come on. Come on!
(They run to a bridge and underneath it is a blue van.)
Abruzzi: Ha! I told you. I told you!
(The cons run to the van. Abruzzi grabs Lincoln.)
Abruzzi: Behind the wheel, Cro-Magnon.
(Lincoln doesn't like this, and makes to go for Abruzzi but Michael breaks them up.)
Michael: Hey, hey, hey, hey.
(Tweener leans his hand on the wall, catching his breath. The cons check out the van. Michael uses a rock to smash the tail lights.)
Tweener: What the hell are you doin'?
Michael: I'm getting us invisible.
(Tweener removes his hand from the wall and gets in the van. He leaves behind a bloody handprint. The camera zooms in on it.)
Lincoln: John, where are the keys?
Abruzzi: What?
Lincoln: The keys, where are they?
Abruzzi: I told you, in the garbage can by the trees, in a plastic bag.
Lincoln (to Haywire): Oh, the keys!
Abruzzi: Come on. Come on.
(Haywire jumps out and runs across to the garbage can a few yards away.)
Haywire: The keys...
(The other cons jump in the van.)
Haywire: Plastic bag in the garbage can. Where are the keys?
(Abruzzi hands the keys to Lincoln in the van.)
Haywire: The keys, the keys, garbage can...there's not even a plastic bag.
(The engine starts and Haywire looks up in shock.)
Haywire: No. No! No! No! No!
(The van drives past him and away. Haywire stares after them.)
[10. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
(Stolte updates Pope on the manhunt.)
Stolte: We got the on-ramps to 55 and 80 being monitored. We got traffic checks on 171, 6 and 53. Special Services is secured to watch on passenger lists at O'Hare and Midway.
Pope: How we doing with the wiretaps?
Stolte: They're being set up on all the families of the escapees as we speak. Surveillance teams are being established outside the residences as well.
Pope: Thank you.
(He walks across to where a man is investigating the infirmary door.)
Pope: What have you got?
Man: Door wasn't forced. Lock wasn't picked. As far as I can tell, they basically just walked right in.
Orderly: I don't see how that's possible. These doors are locked down every night when we leave. It's priority number one. Only thing I can think is...
Pope: What?
Orderly: Someone left it open for 'em.
[Camera sh*t of the street sign - Fitz Street.]
[11. INT. Van. Night.]
(The van roars down the road. C-Note is in the back, Tweener and Abruzzi next, behind Michael and T-Bag. Lincoln and Sucre are in the front.)
T-Bag: Hey John, I gotta ask you, uh...why so intent on Lincoln driving here, and you taking that particular seat?
(He holds the handcuffs beneath his sweatshirt; he has attached one side to his left wrist.)
(Abruzzi reaches under his seat for a g*n.)
T-Bag: What is it exactly you got up underneath there, huh?
(As Abruzzi pulls the g*n out, T-Bag reaches over and handcuffs himself to Michael.)
Michael: What the hell are you doing?!
(Abruzzi holds the g*n to T-Bag's temple.)
Abruzzi: You think that will stop me?
T-Bag: Think twice, Johnny boy. Hm? You sh**t me, Pretty here'll be draggin' around 170 pounds of d*ad Alabama flesh with him. And considerin' how much you need him to get this Fibonacci vendetta of yours, huh? I just don't think you're gonna be pullin' that trigger.
Abruzzi: No?
(He cocks the g*n.)
ACT 2.
[12. INT. Van. Night.]
Michael: You're gonna give me the key to those cuffs, T-Bag! You son of a bitch!
(Michael searches T-Bag for the key while Abruzzi holds him.)
Abruzzi: Get it, get it, get it.
T-Bag: You lookin' for this?
(He has the key between his teeth. He puts it in his mouth and Michael grabs his throat.)
Michael: Come on, spit it out!
Abruzzi: Spit it out! Come on!
(Before either of them can get it back, T-Bag swallows it.)
T-Bag: Oops!
[13. INT. Laboratory. Night.]
[Caption: Washington DC.]
(The silhouettes of two men are working in a laboratory. One of them drops some yellow liquid from a pipette into a bottle.)
Man: They drink this, it's only a matter of minutes. The glycoside saxitoxin hybrid goes to work in the bloodstream instantly.
[Camera sh*t of Caroline Reynolds working in her office.]
Man: Five minutes is the outside limit even the strongest cardiac muscles can continue to function. After that, massive cardiac arrest with no chance of survival.
Man#2: What about toxicology tests?
Man: They'll reveal nothing. Death will appear to be from natural causes. This is high treason. You know that, don't you?
[Camera sh*t of Caroline Reynolds at her desk.]
[14. EXT. Mill area. Night.]
(Bellick and multiple other officers scour the mill area where the cons just got in the van. He looks at the bloody handprint on the wall.)
Mack: It's fresh, boss.
Bellick: From tonight?
Mack: Can't be more than an hour old.
Bellick: Dogs get the scent?
Mack: Already have.
Guard (o/s): Hey boss, check this out!
(Bellick picks up the broken pieces of tail lights. Patterson walks up behind him with a man.)
Patterson: Captain? This guy lives up the road. Works on the property during the day.
Bellick: You see a vehicle parked here?
Man: Uh, I think so, yeah.
Bellick: What'd it look like?
Man: Uh, like a...like a...van. A blue van.
Bellick: And you didn't think to report it to the authorities.
Man: A parked car?
(Bellick shoves him away, annoyed.)
Patterson (to the man): Come on.
[15. EXT. Van. Night.]
Abruzzi: If you think I won't gut you myself to get that key you're in for a big surprise.
T-Bag: I encourage you to remember the last time you came at me with a Kn*fe.
Michael: Shut up! Shut up! Both of you! We can settle this in Mexico.
Lincoln: How far to the airstrip?
Michael: It's five miles, maybe.
C-Note: You know, your jet better be there, Mr. Mafia. You feel me? It better be there.
[16. EXT. Airstrip. Night.]
[Caption: Goose Park Airstrip. 10 Miles from Fox River.]
(Maggio and the pilot wait by the jet. The pilot holds the police scanner. Police chatter comes through intermittently.)
Pilot: They're everywhere out there.
Maggio: Tell me something I don't know.
(They both look worried and anxious.)
[17. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
Pope: You're saying you don't know anything about this?
Katie: Honestly, I don't.
Pope: The door was left open, Katie.
Katie: It wasn't me.
Pope: Well then who was it? Only you and Dr. Tancredi were left at the end of the night. The orderly confirmed that.
Katie: It wasn't me.
Pope: Then you're telling me it was Dr. Tancredi.
Katie: No. I...
Pope: I know you know something, Katie. And anything you know you have got to tell me. If you don't, you are gonna lose a lot more than your job. Withholding information makes you an accessory, and I will press that button if you don't start talking!
Katie: Sara...
Pope: What about Sara?
Katie (with great reluctance): Sara had a thing for Scofield.
Pope: Thank you, Katie.
[18. INT. Van. Night.]
Sucre: All I wanna do is touch her belly. Feel that he's in there. After that, whatever I gotta do, I'll figure it out. I...I just wanna touch her belly. (To Michael) We're close, papi.
Lincoln: We got trouble.
(Camera shows a police roadblock ahead.)
(Lincoln rolls the van off the road and slows to a stop. Tweener stares at the roadblock, panicked.)
Tweener: Yo, man, this is bananas. We gotta get off this road.
Lincoln: Any other way to the airstrip?
Michael: This is the only road.
Tweener: Then let's just run this bitch!
C-Note: Somebody shut him up or I will!
Sucre: Can we go back?
Michael: That won't do us any good. That'll only get us farther from where we need to be.
Lincoln: Which means we gotta bust that road block.
Michael: Maybe not. We gotta try and go round. Come on.
(Lincoln moves the van onto a dirt road.)
Michael: We're gonna get that key from you. I don't care if you gotta crap it out.
T-Bag: You got a foul mouth sometimes, Pretty.
(The van lurches and the cons bounce around inside. Lincoln revs the engine but the van stays put.)
(Camera shows the wheels are spinning, stuck in the mud.)
Lincoln: Son of a bitch, we're stuck.
Michael: Everybody out. Everybody out!
C-Note: You heard him.
[Camera sh*t of a posh hotel - night.]
[Caption: Washington DC.]
[19. INT. Hotel. Night.]
(A man in a suit pushes a case of bottles of water on a trolley through a busy hotel kitchen.)
Man: This is for the speech tonight.
Guard: I need some ID.
Man: Secret Service. (He shows his ID.)
Guard: Have at it.
(The man places a bottle of water on a tray with two glasses.)
[20. EXT. Field. Night.]
(The cons try and push the van out of the mud.)
Michael: Come on!
(They all grunt and groan with effort.)
Sucre: This thing ain't going nowhere.
Lincoln: How far's the airstrip?
Michael: On foot? Maybe two miles.
Abruzzi: What the hell are we waiting for? Let's move.
Sucre: Three-legged-race over here ain't gonna make it ten feet.
Michael: Oh, we'll manage, won't we?
T-Bag: Sure, Pretty. We team mates! Team mates to the end.
Lincoln: Let's get outta here, let's go!
Abruzzi: Let's go!
(The cons all start to run. Tweener goes to follow but Michael holds him back.)
Michael: This is as far as you go, my friend.
Tweener: What? No, man. You can't leave me out here! Not like this...
Michael: We had a deal, remember?
Tweener: Yeah, but...come on, bro.
Michael: You and I? We're not bros. And I don't think you want me telling the guys what I know. Now, walk.
(Tweener runs off in another direction, looking upset.)
T-Bag: We got trouble, Pretty.
(He gestures to helicopter spotlights flashing in the woods behind them.)
Michael: We got more than that.
(They sprint after the others. The cons run blindly through the woods.)
Lincoln: Come on, come on, come on!
(They crash through the tree line and suddenly stop in their tracks.)
Various Cons: Whoa, whoa!
Lincoln: Oh, my God.
C-Note: Oh, come on!
(They are standing on a rock ledge, overlooking a quarry.)
Sucre: Now what? What do we do now?
Lincoln: I don't believe this.
Sucre: What now?!
(The helicopter approaches them. The cons all look round in terror.)
ACT 3.
[Camera sh*t of the helicopter in the sky.]
[21. EXT. Forest. Night.]
(The helicopter scours the area with its hi-beams.)
Pilot (o/s): This area's clear. Negative contact.
(Camera pans down to show the cons are pressing themselves up against a rock outcropping as the helicopter races over them.)
C-Note: It's comin' back, y'all! It's comin' back! Make yourselves small...
(The helicopter races over them again.)
C-Note: There is no way we're gonna make two miles like this! Especially with that bird up there!
(Sucre looks down and spots a small b*at-up car outside a small motor home.)
Sucre: We are if I got something to do with it.
[Camera sh*t of a rustic Midwest farm house. Night.]
[22. INT. Garage. Night.]
(A little girl aged around 10 spins the wheel of her bike on a workbench. It makes a clicking sound as the spokes smack against a playing card.)
(Behind her, Haywire watches through a dirty window.)
[23. EXT. Airstrip. Night.]
(The air strip controller approaches Maggio and the pilot.)
Controller: Excuse me.
(Maggio turns to him, at the same time drawing his g*n from his pocket and keeping it behind his back.)
Maggio: What can I do for you?
Controller: Sir, I was gonna ask you the same question. I run the tower during the day. There's no traffic allowed here after sundown.
Maggio: Had some mechanical problems.
Controller: You need me to take a look at anything?
Maggio: No, no. We got it.
(The controller looks at the plane suspiciously.)
Maggio: Don't trouble yourself. We'll be on our way in no time.
Controller: You sure?
Maggio: Positive.
Controller: Okay.
Maggio: Have a good night, eh, buddy?
Controller: Yeah, you too.
(He walks away.)
Maggio: Those guys better hurry up.
(The controller takes a cell out of his pocket and flips it open.)
Controller (quietly): Hey, it's me. I got an unidentified aircraft here at Goose Park. I think you'd better have a look at it. Tail number's 986-Delta.
[24. INT. b*at up car. Night.]
Lincoln: Hurry up.
Sucre: Shh. Tranquilo. Just let papi work a little bit of his magic, okay?
Lincoln: You know what you're doing?
Sucre: Are you kidding me? Hot wiring this thing is like hot wiring a toaster. Now, if it were an Acura or one of the Chinese cars, that's a whole different story. Electronic ignition, computer chip - forget about it. But no, we're good.
Lincoln: That chopper's gonna be coming back again, so hurry up.
[25. EXT. Riverside. Night.]
(Michael and T-Bag sit and rest nearby. C-Note joins them.)
C-Note: Hey, yo, what they got in Mexico anyhow?
Michael: Never been there?
C-Note: Ain't never been nowhere, except for Iraq, Chi-Town and Fox River. (To T-Bag) Hey, what you lookin' at?
(T-Bag looks away, holding up a hand.)
C-Note (to Michael): Look, man. Is it a good place where you can have a family?
Michael: Lots of families down there, so I hear.
C-Note: Hey, you know what I'm talking about. For a black man. An American man. With a family.
Michael: So that's the plan, huh? They're gonna meet you down in Mexico?
C-Note: Yeah. It's worse than not seein' 'em. And I can't do that no more.
Michael: Not much of a life for 'em.
C-Note: But it'll be a life. More than what me and them have been having for the last two years, man. They're family, snowflake. Ain't no way in hell I'm leavin' 'em behind.
[26. INT. b*at up car. Night.]
(Lincoln and Abruzzi watch Sucre work.)
Sucre: Good. I must've done this a thousand times.
Lincoln: Man, I thought you got busted for armed robbery.
Sucre: That's what they caught me for.
Abruzzi: Come on.
Sucre: Red's the juice, white is the ground. Strike them together, and we blow this town.
(Nothing happens. Sucre looks confused.)
Lincoln: What? What?
Sucre: I...I don't get it.
(They all hurry round and pull up the hood. They all stare down at a large hole where the engine should be.)
Lincoln: Great. That's just great.
[27. INT. Garage. Night.]
(Haywire creeps into the garage towards the girl. She sees him and backs away. Haywire pauses, looks at the girl.)
Haywire: Okay.
(He grabs her bike off the table and moves back towards the door. He stops to look at himself in the mirror, then takes an old fashioned football helmet and jams it over his head.)
Haywire: Sorry.
(He rides off into the night.)
[28. EXT. Field. Night.]
(Bellick and the others have found the van stuck in the mud. Bellick speaks on his cell phone.)
Bellick: It's still warm, and I don't see any other tyre tracks out here. They're on foot, and judging by how hot this engine is, they haven't got far. Five, ten minutes ahead of us at the most.
CUT TO: Pope, on the cell phone to Bellick.
Pope: Where are you? Renwick Road?
Bellick: A quarter mile west of Weber on Renwick.
Pope: Okay, we've got Renwick on the south, Weber on the east, 143rd Street on the north, and 55 on the west. Units are in place along all those roads.
Bellick: And I got a dozen more coming.
Pope: Brad, this could be over quicker than we thought.
(He draws a line on the map connecting all the places together. It makes a square.)
Pope: We've got 'em boxed in.
[29. INT. Infirmary. Night.]
Stolte: Sir, we've got an update on Dr. Tancredi.
Pope: Tell me.
Stolte: None of the staff had any interaction with her, she left work suddenly in the early afternoon, returned for maybe an hour, then left again. All of it's very erratic.
Pope: Has anyone been able to reach her?
Stolte: Doesn't have a home line, cell phone seems to be shut off. Chicago PD identified her car outside her residence. They're getting an emergency warrant to go in. Sir, it's none of my business but are you gonna call the governor? This is his daughter we're talking about.
[30. EXT. Field. Night.]
Patterson: Captain. The dogs picked up a trail.
Bellick: Which way?
Patterson (points): That way, and that way.
Bellick: They split up.
Patterson: Looks like it.
Bellick: Well, what the hell we waiting for?
[Camera sh*t of the mansion in Blackfoot, Montana.]
[31. EXT. Woods. Night.]
(Veronica hurries up the hill towards the mansion. She slides close to the house and looks in the kitchen. She watches Terrence Steadman blending carrots in a liquidizer.)
(Steadman leaves the room. Veronica tries the back door: it's open. She goes inside and closes it behind her quietly. She moves through the rest of the house.)
[32. INT. Press Conference. Night.]
(Vice President Reynolds stand on a podium before rows of reporters.)
Caroline: I think it's pretty clear that our policies have been effective. We've had 14 consecutive quarters of GDP growth above 3%. The tax cuts are working.
(The reporters all raise their hands shouting, 'Madam Vice President!')
Caroline: Peter.
Peter: Madam Vice President. A lot of people question the wisdom of granting tax cuts to the oil industry in light of the fact they're seeing record profits. Do you have thoughts on that?
Caroline: We're a market-driven economy, Peter. Punishing companies for being good business models doesn't make a whole lotta sense to this administration.
(She picks up her bottle of water.)
Reporters: Madam Vice President, Madam Vice President...
Caroline: Yeah. Rebecca?
Rebecca: Thank you. Madam Vice President, are you saying...
(The sound disappears as Caroline sips from the water bottle, only echoes can be heard.)
Rebecca: ...if you're elected President?
Caroline: If those tax breaks result in growth - yes.
(A man rushes into the room and begins whispering to each reporter. One by one the reporters hurry from the room. Caroline attempts to call for order.)
Caroline: Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. Yes. Sir, can I...
(One of her aides comes across the stage and whispers into her ear. Caroline drops the bottle of water she is holding and it spills onto the floor.)
[33. EXT. Woods. Night.]
(Lincoln and C-Note sprint ahead of the group as they come upon a farm. Sucre and Abruzzi follow them into a barn.)
[34. INT. Barn. Night.]
(The cons catch their breath, gasping.)
Lincoln: Where are they?
Sucre: They're...they're way the hell back there.
C-Note: They're slowing us down, man.
Lincoln: This ain't gonna work like this. We gotta do something.
CUT TO: Outside, Michael and T-Bag approach the barn, still handcuffed together.
Michael: This way.
(Someone whistles from inside the barn and the pair run inside.)
Michael: Come on.
(Lincoln shuts the door behind them.)
T-Bag: What's going on? What's going on?
(Lincoln grabs him from behind and forces him down onto the hood of an old car that is parked in the barn. Sucre grabs a pair of shears.)
T-Bag: Hey, what are you doing? What the hell are you doing?
(Sucre tries to cut the handcuffs apart using the rusty shears.)
T-Bag: Oh, I swear to God...
Michael: You swear what?!
(They glare at each other.)
Sucre: It ain't gonna work.
(T-Bag laughs at them.)
T-Bag: I guess it was just meant to be, hey now, fellas?
[Camera cuts to Abruzzi, standing behind T-Bag, holding an axe high in the air. He sinks the axe into T-Bag's wrist. T-Bag screams wildly.]
ACT 4.
[35. INT. Barn. Night.]
(The cons stand around in horror and shock at what Abruzzi has just done. T-Bag is still screaming in agony.)
Abruzzi: He's lucky I didn't take this to his head.
Sucre: You cut his...you cut his...
(Camera pans over T-Bag, lying on the floor cradling his arm, with his hand next to him. Michael stands shocked, the handcuff still hanging off his wrist but covered in blood.)
Sucre: You...you cut his...
Lincoln: Sucre, shut up!
Farmer (o/s): Hello?
(The cons peek outside at the farmer holding a g*n, most likely alerted by T-Bag's screams. The cons all stay quiet.)
Farmer: Hello? Hello?
(The farmer walks back to the house, clearly still suspicious.)
Lincoln: Come on, let's go!
(He heads out, followed by Michael.)
Sucre: We can't leave him here, just like...
C-Note: You wanna stay here, be my guest!
(Sucre hesitates but follows the others out. T-Bag shakes on the ground, his severed hand lying close to his face.)
[36. EXT. Woods. Night.]
(Bellick charges through the woods, surrounded by dogs and COs.)
C.O.: Good boy. Good boy.
(At the same time, Tweener is running through the woods. He comes to the road, where a line of cars has been delayed by construction. He halts behind a tree.)
C.O.: Boss, I think we got something.
(Bellick and the COs follow the dogs, who have caught Tweener's scent.)
(Tweener looks behind him, seeing flashlights and hearing dogs bark. He looks at the road and spots a horse trailer. He runs across the road and climbs into the back of the trailer. A construction worker waves the traffic on. Tweener is in the clear.)
[37. INT. Pope's office. Night.]
Pope (on the phone): Yes, this is Warden Henry Pope at Fox River Penitentiary. I need to speak with the governor.
Governor Tancredi (v/o): Yes?
Pope: Governor, I'm sorry to bother you, but there's been a...
CUT TO: Governor Tancredi, sitting in his office watching television.
Governor Tancredi: Are you watching this?
Pope: Watching what?
Governor Tancredi: I suggest you turn on your TV, Warden.
(Pope hangs up and goes through to the next room where there is a television set.)
Reporter (on TV): Doctors at Washington Medical Center have corroborated that President Mills was admitted into emergency care here a little more than 45 minutes ago. In the Chief Surgeon's words, President Mills suffered massive cardiac arrest. Doctors were unable to revive him. The news out of Washington Medical Center is official now. The president of the United States, Richard Mills, is d*ad.
(Pope and the others in the office look shocked and saddened.)
Reporter (on TV): And keeping with protocol, Vice President Reynolds is in an undisclosed location being sworn in as the 46th president...
[38. INT. Hotel kitchen. Night.]
(Caroline stands within a small group of people, her right hand on the Bible and the other raised in the air. A judge stands before her holding the Bible.)
Caroline: I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States and will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.
Judge: I hereby recognize you as the 46th president of this country.
Caroline: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to attend to tonight. Thank you, all.
Man: This way, Madam President.
(Caroline is walked away by several Secret Service guys including Agent Kellerman. They meet Agent Brinker in the kitchen.)
Caroline: And you said I couldn't get things done.
(She and Kellerman walk on.)
Brinker: Madam Vice President, perhaps we can get together and discuss how...
Caroline: It is 'president' now, Madam. And you're gonna have to talk to my organizers. My schedule is suddenly quite full. I'm sure you understand.
[39. INT. Sara's apartment building. Night.]
(A police officer knocks on the door of 236.)
Officer: Sara Tancredi? It's the police. We have a warrant to come in. It's easier if you just open the door, otherwise we're gonna come on in.
(An officer kicks down the door. They enter the apartment, g*n drawn. As they all enter the living room, they slow down and put their w*apon away.)
Officer: Dispatch, this is 15-David on scene. Roll a bus to 1616 Van Lear Drive, apartment 236.
[Camera pans in on an empty bottle of morphine and a used needle on the table, along with a sh*t glass with some whiskey in it. Sara is lying face down on the settee, very pale and still, her lips blue and vomit covering the cushion.]
Officer: Possible overdose, likely DOA. Copy?
Dispatch: Copy 15-David.
[40. INT. Horse trailer. Night.]
(Tweener sits hunched up in the trailer. The trailer passes a sign: St. Louis - 256.)
[41. EXT. Road. Night.]
(Haywire rides the bike down the road, the playing card in the spokes making a noise as he peddles. He puts his arms out and rides no-handed.)
[42. EXT. Woods. Night.]
(The remaining cons dive into a ditch when they see a police SUV parked at the end of a bridge near them.)
Michael: The airstrip's on the other side of that field. Just 500 yards and this whole thing's over.
Sucre (Re the police SUV): He's not moving.
Abruzzi: Every second we stay here is another chance for them to find the plane. We gotta go now.
Michael: Wait! Wait!
(Another police car crosses the bridge, its' siren blaring.)
Michael: All right, let's go. Let's go.
(The cons move to the road. Lincoln grabs Michael.)
Lincoln: Michael, if this doesn't work out, I want you to know...
Michael: I know. I know.
(They run under the bridge and the police car spots them.)
Officer (on Bullhorn): Freeze. Don't move!
[43. EXT. Airstrip. Night.]
Maggio: I'll tell you when we've gotta go.
Pilot: No, man, I mean we've gotta go.
(The helicopter flies overhead and the air is filled with sirens heading towards the airstrip.)
Maggio: f*re her up.
[44. INT. Steadman's house. Night.]
(Veronica walks up the stairs quietly.)
[Flashback: Lincoln in court.
Foreman: We find the defendant charged of m*rder Terrence Steadman guilty.]
(Veronica walks into a small living room.)
[Flashback: a small digger exhumes the coffin of 'Terrence Steadman'.
Caroline Reynolds: This stunt, by Lincoln Burrows' defense counsel, is an affront to the memory of my brother.]
(Veronica approaches a large leather chair next to a fireplace.)
[Flashback: a forensic expert stands over the exhumed corpse.
Forensic Expert: We made an imprint of the deceased's teeth, and compared them to the dental records of Terrence Steadman. They were a perfect match.]
(Veronica looks down at Terrence Steadman, apparently sleeping in the chair.)
[Flashback: Veronica and Agent Hale in an alley.
Veronica: Who k*lled Terrence Steadman?
Hale: Nobody.]
(Veronica walks around to stand in front of Steadman. His eyes flicker open and he looks at her.)
Veronica: Hello, Terrence.
[45. EXT. Airstrip. Night.]
(The cons rush up a small hill leading to the airfield and they see the plane waiting.)
(The pilot fires up the engines and closes the door behind him - they can't wait any longer.)
Sucre: I can see it!
C-Note: Let's go, guys.
Michael: Come on! Let's go.
C-Note: That's the runway right there, it's right there...
(Squad cars race up behind them.)
CUT TO: The plane turning round on the runway.
CUT TO: The cons running towards the airstrip.
Michael: Let's go.
CUT TO: T-Bag stumbling through the woods as fast as he can, clutching his severed hand to his chest, covered in blood. Dogs bark behind him.
(The plane turns on the runway.)
(The cons keep running.)
Sucre: We're almost there.
C-Note: Better be there, man. Better be there.< | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "01x22 - Flight"} | foreverdreaming |
Opening scene:
A woman (later known as Susan) is in a room. She takes off her shirt and sits on a chair facing a mirror. She stares at herself in the mirror for about three seconds and fixes her hair. She then proceeds to touch up her make-up. It is revealed that she has a few scratches on her left cheek.
Cut to:
(SONA. There is a lot of noise in the courtyard. It seems as if a fight is occuring and the prisoners are surrounding the two inmates. Michael is observing all this with a terrified look on his face. He sees Alex who looks lost as well. Sammy, one of the inmates (who is part of Lechero's g*ng), holds a wishbone by a thread and drops it on the ground, which is a signal for the fight to begin between the two unknown inmates.)
Cut to:
(Lincoln and a lawyer coming down the stairs in some building)
Lincoln: You gotta do something. My brother is innocent. He's an american citizen.
Lawyer: Well, there's nothing I can do about that.
Lincoln: Of course you can. Back at the crime scene, you can...
Lawyer (interrupting Lincoln): Look, I'm a night clerk okay? If you really want someone who can do something, you're going to have to wait for the consul. He gets in in the morning. I'm sorry.
Lincoln: That ain't gonna cut it. (Walks away).
Lawyer: Your brother...Where'd they have him incarcerated?
Lincoln: SONA. (Lawyer looks down.) What?
Lawyer: The worst of the worst are there...
Cut to:
(SONA. The fight is still going on. Michael has a frightened look on his face.)
Lawyer: (Voiceover) Men, no other prison will take. They rioted so badly, a year ago, the guards pulled out. Just left them to themselves. Thousands of thieves, rapists, m*rder,....The goverment just stays back. Keeps the perimeter. To them, SONA is a one way street....
(Fight is still continuing. Sammy finally breaks the other inmates neck and leaves him on the ground of the courtyard.)
Lawyer: (Voiceover) .....What goes in, never comes out... unless it's d*ad.
(Michael walks up the d*ad prisoner, while the other inmates disperse to their various cells. He looks frightened, looks up and away.. and we slowly zoom away from Michael.)
OPENING CREDITS.
Cut to:
(Office of US Consul General.)
Another Lawyer: (On the phone) Someone didn't do his "...."(sorry couldn't catch that bit) on this guy and we need him moved to a facility that is a little more .. moderate. Al right?... Thank-you. (To Lincoln) Alright.. the good news is as of yesterday, you're a free man. You got nothing to worry about.
Lincoln: Just my brother.
Lawyer: Right. Well, that's a heck of a story..you two. That made the news even down here. And I uh.. understand you have a son as well? LJ? Lincoln Junior? He must be ecstatic about your exoneration.
Lincoln: (With a confused look) Still trying to reach him.
Lawyer: Oh.. hey tell us where he is and we'll find....
Lincoln: Let me handle that, let's just focus on Michael.
Lawyer: Ok, well, good news is that much of what you're saying is checking out at the crime scene. The victim did have a service revolver with US government numbers on it, and if a w*apon was found then, that lends real credence to self-defense as a motive.
Lincoln: Great. They, uhh, find anything else?
Lawyer: Like wha?
Lincoln: A bag..
Lawyer: What was in it?
Lincoln: A little money.
Lawyer: Sorry.
Lincoln: Course they didn't.
Lawyer: Whatever the case, regarding Michael, I have managed to make a little headway. I arranged for a transfer for your brother to another facility.. effective tomorrow. It's a lot safer, It's a lot cleaner.
Lincoln: Great.
Lawyer: And if this is stacking up like I think it is, I'd be pretty confident that the charges would be dropped.
Lincoln: (With a look of hope) He'd be free?
Lawyer: Why, he'd still face charges in the US.
Lincoln: But out of there..? (referring to SONA)
Lawyer. Yes.
Cut to:
(SONA. The d*ad prisoner is still in the center of the courtyard. The prisoners are out, walking around, sitting... etc. Looks like Michael spent the night on the floor next to the courtyard. He suddenly gets up, looks dazed and stares at the d*ad prisoner. His eye catches Bellick who looks beaten and is left only in his underwear. (Poor guy!). Michael starts walking towards the courtyard.
Bellick: Meso you....(can't really tell what he's saying..)
A few other prisoners who pass him: Meso?
Bellick: Meso water. I'm dying of thirst please.
Prisoner (pointing to the muddy water): There's some water.
Bellick: Bite me.
(The other prisoners grab him by the neck): WHat did you say?
Bellick: I didn't say nothing.
(The prisoners drop him to the ground.)
Prisoner: You heard me? Drink....
(Bellick puts his face down towards the muddy water, but at the end, the prisoners just splash it onto his face).
Another prisoner who is in his underwear goes to Bellick and helps him to his feet.
Other prisoner: Hey, get used to it. Haven't eaten for days. C'mon.
Cut to:
(Alex Mahone is sitting around, with his hand shaking. His mind flashbacks to his son Cameron, his wife Pam, the press conference he held in season 2 episode 1, digging in his backyard to find the remains of Oscar Shales, his pills, the d*ad blonde agent in his car whom he k*lled, capturing Michael and Lincoln, k*lling Tweener..The last flashback makes Alex take out his black pen to get his pill, but he finds that there are none left and starts getting panicky. He sees Michael entering the hallway of SONA, and goes up to him.)
Michael: What do you want Alex?
ALex: That's so clever, planting the drugs on the boat, that's a big irony... wrong man in Jail.
Michael: You are exactly where you belong.
Alex: No, that's where you are wrong. That's where you're gonna help me. I will have a court date one of these days and you will be there.. on the stand.. and you will tell the truth that you planted this.. that you set this up. And I'm gonna go home.
Michael: That's funny. I could have sworn you set this up.
Alex: I set this up? I'm in here.
Michael: What does the company want with me? Why Panama?
Alex: Why, you think I know what they want? They had me, I did what they asked me to do. Arrest you in Panama and that's thats..... That's old news. This is the first day of the rest of our lives. How bout we work together you know? Help each other out?
Michael (with a look of hatred on his face): Except, Everytime I look at you, all I can see is the man who k*lled my father. You're on your own. ( He walks away..)
Cut to:
(Outside Sona. The guards are bringing the d*ad prisoners out. A woman is screaming at the gates.)
Woman: (In spanish) My Husband! Bring him out! I know he was k*lled last night. Someone called. Bring my husband out now.
(Lincoln walks past her and signs in to meet Michael. Before he does, we see a nun, who signs in and enters the prison. The guard tells her to be careful. Lincoln then proceeds to sign in.)
Guard: The sign here says that once inside, you are on your own by the law. You are not protected by the military incase of asault. Any attempt to assist an inmate with escape will be met with a lethal response.
Lincoln: Wouldn't dream of it.
Cut to:
(Michael coming out of SONA to meet Lincoln. There is a fence seperating them.)
Lincoln: So...
Michael: So...
Lincoln: Feel like I'm on the wrong side.
Michael: You're on the right side.
Lincoln. You're not..
Michael: (humorously) Gonna break me out?
Lincoln: Too tiring.. all that running.
Michael: Yea.. well maybe you should have lost the cowboy boots.
Lincoln: You scared? (Michael looks down) I'm getting you out of here man.
Michael: Oh... Linc.
Lincoln: Look, the consul arranged you a transfer to a safer facility until the trial.. which is about a month. They say you got a good sh*t of walking out of here a free man.
Michael: When's the transfer?
Lincoln: Tomorrow. Just.. just hold on man, one more day.
Michael: You know I keep waiting for you to mention a certain someone.
Lincoln: I don't know where she is man.
Michael: Well, you better find her.
Lincoln: I will.
Michael: She's important to me Linc. If anything happens to Sara.... (he looks down...awww!!)
Lincoln: It's going to be fine man..I promise. See you tomorrow. Alright?
(Michael nods and Lincoln leaves with a look of hopelessness on his face).
Cut to: Michael back in Sona. He's walking across the courtyard. A boy, MCGRADY walks up to him.
McGrady: American right? I love America. MBA. Tracy Mcgrady sh**ting the ball in the hoop in downtown.
Michael: Whatever you're showing, I'm not buying.
McGrady: Selling? I just want to talk Basketball. Who's your team? (McGrady sees someone behind Michael and runs away. Michael turns back and sees Sammy who is with a few other inmates.)
Sammy: Let's go blancko...Orientacion.
Michael: Not interested.
Sammy: It's not for you to decide. (He lifts up his shirt and reveals a dagger. Michael looks at it.)
Cut to:
Lechero's room. Lechero is the king-pin of SONA, another inmate. He has a TV in his room. (Nice!)The nun, is actually a prost*tute who is changing back into her clothes.
Nun: (in spanish) Guards say I have to be out in 15 minutes.
Lechero: Bring em in.
(Sammy brings the new prisoners in. There are about 6 of them, Michael and Alex included.)
Lechero: Well, I hope they haven't been treating you too poorly. As you can tell, Sona is unlike any other place in the world. Since the riots last year, they left the place to rot. They figured that we would just destroy ourselves, but instead, we've thrived. The canal now is breeding with international crime. Twenty-seven different nationalities we have here. But not one g*ng. Not one regionally motivated incident. It's just me. Believer's the word? Did I get that right?
ALex: Right as right.
Lechero: That's what practise does for you. Now is there anything you want to tell me? Any history that you bring to this place that I should know about? (Walks toward Michael) I don't think you're quite telling me the truth, Mr. Scofield. (Michael looks confused) Oh we get the news man. You are quite the superstar on CNN. Man breaks brother out, and flees to Panama. Hahahaa.... but you're not a superstar here. You realize that don't you?
Michael: I'm not going to make waves.
Lechero: Well, then be within your power. I heard about the two of you in the hall today. (Referring to Alex and Michael). Now you would like to sort your problems out is very simple here. When a man has a beef with the other, he makes his problem known. And then we deal with it directly .. as men. (He holds up the wishbone). Out ther (points to the courtyard).
Alex: That won't be necessary. (Lechero notices Alex's trembling hand).
Lechero: You always shake like that.... or just when you're scared of someone? (In spanish, to another new prisoner) What about you?
Other new prisoner: (In spanish) Don't hurt me man. I don't want any trouble. (Suddenly, he starts to wet his pants. Lechero looks at this and punches the prisoner.)
Lechero: (Starts kicking the prisoner) Never! Never! Never use my floor as a bathroom.
Michael: I think he gets the message (loudly).
Lechero: (To michael) You can go. you and me. Right here. You're a brave man.... brave man. You're lucky I've been meditating.. before I couldn't take my finger off the trigger but now, I have mind control. Complete control. Mind, body and Soul. GET OUT!
(Sammy leads the prisoners out.)
Lechero: GET OUT! This was a complete waste of our time.
Nun: Who would've thought... a famous person in SONA.
Lechero: We people rally around for him.. worship for him are blinded by it. And as you can tell, there are many weak-charactered people behind these walls. Yes, they will follow a man like this and they will put him on a pedestal. He has a charisma... right mami?
Nun: He's not you.
Lechero: Ahh... you don't have to pamper me mami. He's good looking right?
Nun: Si. He's good looking.
Lechero: He's the best looking man in the prison right?
Nun: Not compare to you.
(Lechero grabs the nun.)
Nun: Who knows? Maybe?
(Lechero throws the nun down).
Lechero: (In spanish) Pack up, whore. You're gone. (She leaves and he walks to his window seeing Michael wak across the yard.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
Cut to:
(SONA. Some prisoners are listening to spanish music on the radio. Some are playing cards. Some are smoking. Some are doing weights. Some are cooking.
Michael is sitting in a corner, making his origami duck and having a dreamy look on his face. Flashback to his times with Sara - Sara walking past Michael in Fox River, Sara and Michael kissing in the infirmary. Aww... I love this scene.)
Cut To:
(Lincoln is talking with someone at the Panama District Constable's Office.)
Lincoln: Sara Tancredi. She's an american.. she's missing.
Guy: We don't have reports of anything like that.
Lincoln: But if you do, you call me. The number's on the back.
Guy: Okay, senor.
Lincoln: Anything, you call me.. alright?
Guy: Will do.
Lincoln: Thankyou. (He leaves).
Cut To:
(SONA. The guy who helped Bellick is moving around.)
Bellick: Where did you get shoes? (the guy looks towards the d*ad prisoner)
Sammy: Hey.. HEY!! Time to start your grunt around here.
Bellick: There's no grunt here.. It's a prison.
Sammy: Keep talking. It's going up. Here. (He hands Bellick and the other guy a plastic bag) Time has started right now,
Bellick: Where?
Cut to:
The toilets in SONA. They're filthy.
Bellick: Uh uh... Hell no.
Guy: Absolutely not. (Sammy punches him).
Sammy: One more word from you, and I will bound you here, understand? (He hands them a mop). Now work! To the sewers when you're done. (Bellick has a look of disbelief on his face. It's pretty hilarious when you look at him).
Cut to:
(Courtyard of SONA. Lechero comes to the balcony. He observes everyone. He sees Michael walking about. There's a prisoner just behind michael who looks at him and then at lechero. Lechero nods at the prisoner and the prisoner nods back.)
Someone in spanish: New man arrived. An american.
Lechero: Anything else?
Man: He's got this hand..
(And then we finally see the prosthetic hand of... T-BAG!! YAy!!!!! He comes into view. He surveys the prison. Michael is walking on the other side and suddenly stops. He sees Tbag and looks astonished. Tbag sees him as well. On top. Alex sees Tbag as well. Michael looks at Alex, tbag and then hears his name. He's got someone in visitation. He looks confused. Lincoln said that they would meet the next day).
Cut to:
(Outside SONA. There is an unknown man on the other side of the fence waiting to see Michael)
Man: Ah, Mister Scofield. Elliot Pike.
Michael: What do you want?
Man: Well, to be frank, to represent you.
Michael: You're a lawyer?
Man: Of sorts.
Michael: Court already appointed me a lawyer.
Man: Then, perhaps I can be of assistance, in a different way.
Michael: Somehow, I doubt that.
Man: I got a lot of bug g*n behind me Mr. Scofield. People you might like to have in your corner, should you ever decide say, break out of here?
Michael: Who are you?
Man: We can assist you in every possible way, once you get past that wall. There's a reason a guy like you with a skill-set like that, is put in here, you know?
Michael: This conversation is over. (He walks back into SONA)
Man: You oughta hear what I have to say Scofield. We're trying to do this the easy way.
Cut to:
(SONA. Some inmates are making a b*at with cans and some sticks. Michael enters his cell, looks at his bed and takes off his sweatshirt. He sees the drawings all over the walls. Suddenly, the prisoner who was nooding at Lechero enters the cell and pushes Michael towards the wall.)
Inmate: Where'd you take my stash? how about it you little bitch?
Michael: I didn't do it.
Inmate: Where is it? (Choking Michael)
Michael: It wasn't me.
(Sammy enters the cell and pulls off the inmate off Michael. Lechero is present as well.)
Lechero: You know the rules about extra-curricular fights. It doesn't happen here.
Inmate: He took something that belongs to me.
Michael: He's out of his mind.
Lechero: Ya, it seems pretty easy to get to the bottom of this. (To sammy referring to Michael) Check him.
(Sammy checks Michael but doesn't find anything.)
Lechero: Check his area.
(Sammy turns Michael's bed upside down and see's the stash of drugs.)
Michael: That's bull.
Lechero: You are both scumbags. (He leaves the cell along with Sammy and another inmate. It seems as if this has been a set-up by Lechero).
Inmate: You and me man, not done here.
Cut to:
(St. Alexius Hospital. Lincoln is trying to find Sara)
Lincoln: You haven't seen her? (Shows someone the photo of Sara) Noone like this has checked in?
Receptionist: No senor.
Lincoln: You're absolutely sure?
Receptionist: Si.
Lincoln: Thanks.
(Lincoln's cell rings.)
Lincoln: Ya?
Man from the constable's office: Mr. Burrows. Captain "..." from the constable's office. We found an american woman matching the description of your friend - Ms. Tancredi.
Lincoln: Where?
Man: At the morgue. (Lincoln stops d*ad in his tracks).
Cut to:
(SONA. Bellick and his new friend are trying to get water).
Bellick's new friend: Por forvor Senor.
Random guy: (in spanish).........
Bellick: What's he saying?
Bellick's NF: That we can't eat.
Bellick: What are we supposed to eat?
Bellick's NF: (in spanish) Please. I haven't eaten in a week since I've been here. please.
(Random guy finishes his chicken and leaves the remain in the plate).
Cut to:
(Bellick and his friend in a part of Sona)
Bellick's NF: They expect us to follage.. like dogs. I will die.. I will literally die. (He starts crying.)
Bellick: Hang in there man.
(Bellick walks ahead but his friend spots a window and walks towards it. He climbs up towards it and removes the grate.)
Cut to:
(Michael making another origami swan. Tbag approaches him.)
T-Bag: Playing by yourself. Same old Pretty. Just not good at making friends, are you?
Michael: We got nothing to say to each other.
T-Bag: On another note, on a big picture note, them big government types that shook me down so hard, why is it they wanted you here? Was it Sona they was interested in? That's what I'm thinking. Want me to get you down here, up in this very county. What do you think it is, huh? You think it's Sona? Who'd be interested in a dump like this?
(Suddenly they hear someone shout: RUNNER! Everyone runs towards the windows. Looks like Bellicks friend has made it out of the prison. He'srunning towards the fence. )
The tower Guard: (In spanish) Stop! Stop!
Bellick: NO!! NO!!!
(The guards finally sh**t the guy...and he's d*ad. Michael see's this and starts to freak out. He goes back to his cell, but see's the wishbone. Seems as if the other inmate wants to duel with him. He sits on his bed and looks scared. )
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
Cut to:
(Panama District Morgue).
Lincoln: Thanks for getting back to me.
Man: No problem. The body was fished out of the pond. First thing this morning.
Lincoln: Where?
Man: Kayalei centas saes. Just west of Avanetao Coloon. Sir?
Lincoln: That's the last place I saw her. (he looks at the body and a wave of relief is on his face.) It's not her. It's not her.
Cut to:
(Lechero's room. Michael enters)
Lechero: Someone's thrown the glove down on you...the gauntlet right?
Michael: Yea... some people know I didn't take those drugs.
Lechero: I'm not the judge. I don't deal in the claims people make. I just make sure the rules are followed.And the rules say all grievances are dealt with two men in a ring, a fight.
Michael: I'll be leaving tomorrow, so that won't be necessary.
Lechero: It may not be necessary to you,but it is to me. I have a duty to maintain order here an ironclad legal system that assures that no one goes independent with their grievances, as is so often the case in other prisons. Here, there is a system, and that system means order. So whether you agree with it or not does not matter to me. There's a larger agenda than yours.
Michael: What happens if I refuse?
Lechero: I will come for you. And I guarantee you, that is an outcome you will not like.
Michael: Tell me something. Do you always set up your fights?
Lechero: (shakes head) I had nothing to do with it.
Michael: Yet the only one in this prison who has a problem with me, is you.
Lechero: I'd be glad to see you go down. Superstar.
Cut to:
(In the sewers... there is someone hiding there. Seems like he can hear everything that goes on in Lechero's room. He hears a noise and looks through a brick hole. He sees Bellick)
Prisoner: Go on.. keep going. Your grunts are around the corner. Move it.
(The man who is hiding in the sewer whistles. Bellick looks towards the noise. He goes toward the brick hole.
Man: Hey.. hey....think you can do me a favour?
Bellick: Bite me.
Man: I can feed you. Two weeks ago, I was in your shoes. Didn't get any food for days. And they left me to die, just like they're going to let you die.
Bellick: Get back to the 'feed me' part.
(Man slides a piece of some food throught the brickhole. Bellick takes it and eats it.)
Bellick: Chicken. Where did you get chicken?
Man: That's not chicken. Want some more?
Bellick: Yea..
Man: Then you're going to have to run an errand for me.
Bellick: What kind of errand?
(Man passes two slips of paper to Bellick.)
Cut To:
(Lincoln's cell rings)
Lincoln: Ya.
LJ: Dad, it's me.
Lincoln: LJ? Where are you?
LJ: I'm in Panama.
Lincoln: What? How'd you get this number?
LJ: I ran into Sara. She got your number from the consulate. Dad...
Lincoln: LJ....I can't hear you.
LJ. Dad, do this. Meet us at the restaurant in the Garfield Price building. At the top.
Lincoln: Garfield what?
(Line gets disconnnected....Lincoln gets frustrated and looks out into the open from the roof of some random building in Panama. )
Cut to:
(SONA. Prisoners are shifting the d*ad body of the prisoner from the courtyard to make room for the new fight. Michael is in his cell, getting nervous. Tbag is drinking water outside and sees Lechero and his g*ng walking.)
Some random guy in lechero's g*ng: Noone wants the american.
(Another inmate passes by Lechero and spills water on his shoe.)
Lechero: Clean it up.
(Lechero looks at him and then laughs. Looks like Tbag is up to something. He follows lechero.)
Tbag: Surely, it's beneath a man of your status to be walking around like that all... sticky like.(Sammy grabs him)
Lechero: (To sammy ) leave him. What do you propose?
Tbag (Kneels down): Ablution. (Lechero laughs). A humble sign of friendship from a stranger who's come into your house. (tbag poins towards his knee and Lechero puts his foot on top of it. Tbag accidently drops more water on Lechero's pants. Lechero gets a wave of annoyance on his face. Tbag apologizes.) Sorry about that. Just half a man down here (shows his prosthetic hand).
Lechero: Whats your name?
Tbag: you can just call me "Friend".
Cut to:
(Michael is holding the wishbone, deeply thinking. Alex approaches him.)
Alex: Go for the knee-cap. You uh.. you h*t it straight on and it will buckle and will take the guy out.
Michael: Fighting dirty? That's your secret?
Alex: I didn't think there was any such thing as clean in a place like this.
Michael: You know, I'm surprised Alex. It almost sounds like you care.
Alex: You're my "Get-out-of-jail-free-card". Just survive. Knee-cap. Really hard. (He leaves)
Cut to:
(The courtyard. The inmates are getting aroused and circling hte central fight area. Bellick emerges from the sewers. He has the two slips of papers in his hand. Michael and the other inmate enter the fight arena. Just as he enters, bellick puts the first slip of paper in Michael's pocket without him knowing. He puts the second slip in the other inmates pocket.)
Lechero: (Calling out to the other prisoners before the fight) We have a disagreement between two dogs. A drug addict and a thief. I condone neither. And I wash my hands on both of them. But they have an issue. And we have rules. And without rules we are nothing but savages. Therefore, the proper respect for the rules. This fight is engaged with only one rule; no w*apon. Only man versus man, without augmentation or handicap. I'm done talking!
Michael: I'm not going to fight.
(When the other inmate looks towards the Lechero, Michael goes for the knee-cap, heeding Alex's advice and breaking it. Michael gives him a few punches and kicks. The other inmate falls down. Michael, thinking he's done, tries to get out of the arena, but the prisoners circling him, push him back)
Lechero: I don't think you understand the rules, friend. Only one man comes out alive.
(Michael looks shocked.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
Cut to:
(Fight in SONA. The other inmate gets up and punches Michael. Michael punches back and the inmate falls again. He turns around, and at that moment, someone throws a Kn*fe next to the other inmate. Michael is unaware, but Alex sees this.)
Michael: (To the prisoners surrounding him.) It's over. Let me through. Let me go.
(The other inmate sees the Kn*fe, picks it up, heading towards Michael but is stopped by Alex, who breaks his neck. Michael turns around and is surprised.)
Alex: No w*apon. Rules are rules, remember? If we don't have them, we're savages.
(Lechero looks disappointed and heads back into his room. Michael and Alex leave the arena.)
Cut to:
(Garfield Price Building. Lincoln enters and it looks like a swanky restaurant.)
Manager: Oh excuse me. You have no jacket.
Lincoln: Cmon man, I'm just meeting someone here. Give me a break.
Manager: Well, this is a nice place. It requires jackets.
Lincoln: Well I don't have a jacket.
Manager: It requires jackets.
Lincoln: Fine. (He heads out and enters throught the back door of the kitchen. He sees a guy with a jacket.) Excuse me. You speak english? How about american? (He takes out a few dollars from his pocket. He reenters the restaurant with the jacket and shows the manager the jacket. The manager looks dismayed. Lincoln heads towards the bar.) Can I borrow a water please?
Same woman who is in the opening scene of this episode: Please tell me you did not come all the way to Panama for the water.
Lincoln: Family.
Woman: That's a nice jacket, Sergio. (She sees the tag on the jacket)
Lincoln: It's a long story. (Takes the glass of water from the bartender) Thankyou.
Woman: You're waiting for someone huh?
Lincoln: uh huh!
Woman: I should have known... good-looking ones are always taken.
Lincoln: What happened to your face?
Woman: Cat.
Lincoln: Cat? That's a big cat.
Woman: You push anything into a corner too far and the claws will come out.
Lincoln: Your timings are all wrong lady.
Woman: Oh c'mon. Hang out.
Lincoln: I'd like to.. but it ain't the right time. (Starts to leave)
Woman: Yes it is Lincoln..!!
(Lincoln stops.)
Woman: We have a lot to discuss. Specifically your brother. (She shows him a phone). I highly suggest you talk to him.
Cut to:
(SONA. The guards are removing the d*ad bodies of the inmates from SONA. The same woman who was screaming for her husband is there again. She starts screaming again.)
Woman: (In spanish) The d*ad men inside, bring them out. I want to bury him.
(Michael notices all this. The guards sh**t the d*ad prisoners once more, to make sure that they are d*ad. Michael looks away, and then back at them again. The woman goes inside and talks to the grave-digger.)
Grave digger: (In spanish) They will be buriend here. Unless family members step forward to make their own arrangements. (He leaves with the rest of the guards).
(The woman goes through each of the d*ad men's pockets. It seems she isnt looking for a particular person. SHe finally finds a note which the man in the sewers had written:
Versailles
1989
V. Madrid
She smiles....
Michael finds the other half which reads the same thing, in SONA. He is in visitation and sees Lincoln approach him)
Michael: Hey.. How are we coming with the transfer?
Lincoln: (With a pained look on his face) There are some people that want you to break someone out of there.
Michael: Yea I know. Some guy already approached me. I said 'No thank-you'.
Lincoln: You gotta stay.
Michael: What are you talking about?
Lincoln: His name's James Whistler. (sh*t of the guy in the sewers. Seems like he has a name after all)
Michael: No no no no..Linc. I can't do that again.
Lincoln: Michael.. Mike... (He shows Michael the phone which the woman had given him at the bar. He plays a video clip)
LJ (in the video cliop): Dad. Dad, I'm so sorry. They got me and Sara (Michael looks pained as he hears Sara's name). Please, do what they want. Dad, please. (Lincoln looks stressed and Michael looks completely shocked).
Lincoln: You got a week to find this whistler guy and get him out of there. (Michael still has a shocked look on his face.) Otherwise, they uh, Sara and LJ, (still look of Michael's shocked face) they both die! (Michael looks towards Linc and cannot believe any of this) | {"type": "series", "show": "Prison Break", "episode": "03x01 - Orientacion"} | foreverdreaming |
[Babylon. All guys dancing. Hot,young, sexy boys. # Risin' from Elle Patrice]
[Emmett and Ted are standing at the bar. Emmett dancewhile Ted starres at his drink.]
Emmett:You know, some people might say the Grand Canyon or BigSur, but I think some of the finest vistas to be foundanywhere in these United States are right here inPittsburgh.
Ted: Helooks pretty barren to me.
Emmett:Oh, c'mon. There's got to be someone in this vastpanorama of sweaty bodies who you're just dying to havereject you!
Ted: It's not them. It's me. It's too soon. It's stillmourning.
Emmett: Well, it's time to take off the widow weeds.After all, even Jackie finally took off the widow'sweeds, got up off of all fours, married some rich oldman, and went shopping again. At least try.
[Ted turns his head and looks around. He see someone.]
Ted:Him.
Emmett:Who?
Ted:Over, there. Blue movie shirt, black hair, pink in shirt,cuttle short nose.
Emmett:Oh, he's adorable.
Ted:He's hot.
[The guyturns around.]
Emmett:He's a...
Both:Michael?
[They'rerunning to him, overjoy.]
Emmett:Why didn't you tell us you're coming?
Michael:It was a spirit of moment thing. David took Hankcamping...
Emmett: That's how you're figured you're do camping ofyour own. Oh, look at you. You're adorable - and hot.Doesn't you look hot, Ted?
Ted:Let's have a drink.
Michael:Oh, yeah. Sure.
[They'regoing to the bar.]
Ted: So,how long are you here in town?
Michael:Just long enough to see you guys and my mom and my uncleVic and...
allthree: ...Brian.
Emmett:Oh, that's no point looking after him, sweetie.
Ted:He's not here.
Michael:No, of course not. Not after what happened.
Emmett:He's in the backroom.
[The Back Room of Babylon. It's alot darker in there. Multi-colored shadows dot the room,and various male body parts emerge from them.]
Michael: Hey Tod,how's going?
Tod:Hey, fine!
[Briansits in a chair, staring blankly ahead while two guysgnaw on his lap.]
Brian: Hey, Mikey.
Michael:Is this all you have to say?
Brian: No, cover you're teeth.
Michael:I've been emailing you and leaving you messagespractically every day for the last month and you've neveranswered.
Brian:Busy, busy.
Michael:What, up to your old tricks?
Brian: Never old ones. And never the same ones twice.Okay guys, take a drink.
Michael:I'm glad you're okay.
Brian: Oh, not just okay. I'm fabulous. In fact, I'm themost fabulous f*g in Pittsburgh. That if it's be fabulousin Pittsburgh. Does anybody have an E?
[A dozenhands reach out of the dark with tablets.]
Brian:So, who's told you I was here? Rosencrantz orGuildenstern?
Michael: I think I could figurerd that out of my own.
Brian:Oh shit, I've been trying to get this f*ck all night.
Michael:When am I going to see you?!
[Brianignores Michael and he's going with this guy.]
[In the hallway in front ofEmmett's flat.]
Emmett: I didn't take it personally, sweety.
Ted: He's cut himself off from everyone.
Emmett: Everyone, that is, except for every slut inPittsburgh with a smooth ass and a nine-inch cock.
Ted: Or with another word despite what happens it'sbusiness as usual.
Emmett: But hey, when your boy toy gets broken, getanother toy, right?
[They've got inside. Emmett turns the light on.]
Emmett: But well, here we are. Home Sweet Dump.
Michael: It is so great to be back.
Ted: I don't wanna go that far. After those photos andemails of from you're new place.
Emmett: Well, I might not have a pool or an atrium, butI've got a stopped-up sink and a half-d*ad rubber treeplant.
Ted: He's trying to grow his own condoms.
Emmett: Oh baby, you must be so happy.
Michael: Hank and David are very close now. We're getdoing any cool things together. We're get to go bicyclingin the forest park, we're get to go camping and we'remade some really new friends.
Ted: Oh, really - you have... friends?
Emmett: Oh, that's... that's nice.
Michael: Stop mention that I replace you.
Emmett: Yeah, well I'm afraid I'm gonna have to replaceyou.
Michael: What?
Emmett: I've got a new roommate soon. I gonna forced tomove into the home of independent h*m*.
Michael: Well, you've been looking?
[Montage of potential roommates walking in the door andthen a flash of each of them f*cking Emmett. Back to thepresent.]
Emmett: Hi and low. I mean, no one measures up.
Ted: Maybe you need to re-think the interview process.
Emmett: I know, we're have a guest. Welcome home, baby!
[He kisses Michael.]
[Behind a glass window at thehospital, Brian watches Justin toss and turn in hissleep. Brian pulls away from the window and snorts apopper.]
Nurse: Crummy day?
Brian: Yeah, but what's a little rain?
Nurse: How about some hot tea? Or I could I fix you up asoup in a cup? [He shakes his head.] Well, it's gotupsurde in the stiffle horse? Oh, by the way Migual, youknow who works Tuesdays and Thursday, he tosses with hima ball today. He said his hand was improving but he stillhas his outburst when he gets frustrated.
Brian: Well, there must be something you can give him.
Nurse: Drugs can't fix everything.
Brian: Where did you hear that?
Nurse: If you ask me, what would help him the most is ifhe knew that you came here every --
Brian: No.
[The nurse look at him. He offers her a cigarette.]
Nurse: No.
Brian: Who made up the f*cking rule that you can't smokein the hospital?
[He look at Justin through the window.]
[Liberty Diner. Cut to Debbie,all P-FLAG'ed out, arms open wide. Her t-shirt says,"I love my penis"]
Deb: Come and give your mother a hug!
Michael: Promise to let me go this time?
Deb: Eagle Scouts Honour.
[She hugs him and feels on his back.]
Deb: My baby. Christ, you're f*cking skeleton!
Mel: What the hell have you been eating out there, nutsand berries?
Deb: I've feed you're up. I'm gonna give you the bushbottom smackball.
Michael: You will gonna fed me up or gonna make mestroke? What's all those? [He pointed all those papersabout the table.]
Lindsay: Chris Hobb's sentence next week.
Mel: The judge is a real assh*le.
Deb: Yeah, we're call everybody we can. Keep Flaggers,ACA Yours, we're gonna pack those courtroom. Make surethat he knows that we're countable.
Michael: Justin is very lucky to have you looking at. [Hekisses her.]
Deb: Well, that's more as we can say about you're f*ck. He hasn't see him once!
Lindsay: Every time we're visit Justin all he ever askwas where is Brian?
Mel: Getting his dick sucked, that's where's Brian.
Lindsay: I'm not sticking him up from. But maybe he's gotsome vietnam batts who have those trosty. It's been toopainful for him to have to face.
Deb: What? Seeing a poor, hurt kid?
Michael: You weren't there that night, you didn't seeBrian. In shock, with blood all over him? It was like hegot the shit b*at out of him, too.
Deb: If you ask me, he's still an assh*le.
Mel: Okay, I guess it's time to get to the beauty parlor.
Lindsay: Yeah, getting their hair done...
Mel: Getting the manicures...
Lindsay: Be ready when our dates arrive.
Michael: Wow, wow, wow, wow. Something happen when I wasgone that I should know about?
Lindsay: Don't worry, Michael, we're still lesbians.
Michael: Wew...
Lindsay: It's my sister's wedding.
Mel: And the less said, the better.
Deb: Here bone butt, start on these. Oh, coffee.
[At the hospital, Jennifer Taylortalks to Justin's doctor outside the physical therapyroom. They watch Justin try to roll a tennis ball withhis partially paralyzed right hand.]
Doctor: Does he always push himself so hard?
Jen: I remember when he was a kid he's so determent toride his two wheeler. He fall a hundred times and it wasa bloody mess but... he kept out it until he learn tostay up. He hasn't changed. When he wants something, hewon't stop until he gets it.
Doctor: But whatever it is now he does making him to stayon top. It speed off I'm sending him home.
Jen: That's wonderful.
[The tennis ball slips out of Justin's fingers and heyells in frustration.]
Jen: Are you sure he's ready?
Doctor: I wanna see him here three times a week for thenext month for our patient therapy. And call me if thereis a problem.
[A concernes Jennifer look through the window to herson.]
[Melanie and Lindsay accompanyTed and Emmett up the steps of a hotel.]
Emmett: Believe it, it's Saturday night and we're heredressed to go to a f*cking funeral.
Ted: Close to it - a hetero wedding.
Lindsay: Can't you guy giving up for one time?
Ted: I did and looking I havin' withdrawal symptoms.
[The reception area. Some blond girl walks right into themiddle of the group to give Ted a elevator look.]
Mel: Oh, it's too bad you're not straight, you couldreally score big-time.
Emmett: It's hard to believe, but in this paralleluniverse, you're actually hot.
Ted: Whoo-hoo. Lucky me!
[A waitress comes by with drinks.]
Emmett: Pink champagne. Yeah. That's too nelly, even forme.
Ted: Not bad - for a buche.
Lindsay: Look, I'm sorry to make you pretend to be ourdates. But when my sister insisted that Mel and I notdraw attention to ourselves.
Mel: What, did she think we were going to performcunnilingus on top of the wedding cake?
Lindsay: I'd promise I'd follow wedding etiquette.
[Emmett checks out a guy.]
Emmett: Well, I've read Miss Manners cover to cover, andnowhere does it say that you must subjugate yoursexuality, even at the bride's request. Wow, is he hot!
Lindsay: Hey, come back.
Ted: Watch you're position on f*cking ushers.
Emmett: Well, it's acceptable prefable not during theceremony.
Ron: There she is!
Lindsay: Oh, daddy.
Ron: Where is my girl? [He hugs Linds.]
Nancy: We've been looking for you! Hello Melanie.
Mel: Mister and Misses Peterson.
Lindsay: This is Ted and Emmett.
Nancy: How do you do?
Ted: We're their beards.
Ron: You're ready for hear "Here comes thebride"? Again!
Nancy: Oh, Ron, stop.
Ron: Oh, Nancy, don't tell me, tell 'em that. Threeweddings in five years - that's the last one I'm payingfor.
Nancy: That's what you've said the last.
Hot guy: Mr. and Mrs.Peterson? It's time.
Nancy: Oh, here's our cue. We're should take ourpositions.
[They leave. Mel and Linds throw their arms around eachother's waists. Ted and Emmett have to remind them thatthey're no longer gay.]
[Brians's loft. Brian closes thedoor behind Michael.]
Michael: I left you four messages.
Brian: I told you, busy busy. You want some diner? [Hethrows him a bag of chips.]
Michael: This is diner?
Brian: Just the essantial of a healthy diet. Salt, fat,alcohol.
Michael: I've never eating again. My mom practical forcedfeed me to eat the entire Liberty Diner menu.
Brian: Well, who told you to eat it?
Micheal: What I'm suppose to do?
Brian: Say no.
Michael: I know it makes her happy.
Brian: Well, there you go, Ladies and Gentlemen, proofpositive that making other people happy can cause nausea,severe cramps, even diarrhea.
Michael: Got any Tums?
Brian: What is tums spell backwards?
Both: Smut.
Brian: Why the f*ck are you here?
Michael: I've told you, I left you a bunch of messagesand you never called me back.
Brian: I mean of all holidays places you could havechosen Pitts port of the part - why Pitts?
Michael: I'm missed it. It's my home.
Brian: Not even more. It's just a visit. It's asight-seeing of you're former life. Now you've seenyou're mom and the boys and me. Who's next on the tour?
Michael: I though I go see Justin. How's he goin'?
Brian: How should I know?
Michael: Well, you would if you would see him. How aboutyou come with me?
Brian: What for?
Michael: It might make him happy?
Brian: I just told you making other people happy can bedangerous to you're healthy.
Michael: So can making yourself miserable...
Brian: Look, save you're worried-wife routine for the docand, uh, come with me to Woody's.
Michael: I don't want... to go to Woody's...
Brian: C'mon, it's part of the tour. On you're left astarve creation that you love it.
Michael: Yeah, sure.
Brian: I stink. I need a shower.
[Mike walks over to watch surreptitiously as Brianundresses. Brian has the bloody scarf from prom nightwrapped around his chest under his shirt.]
[The Taylor condo. Debbie and Vicfight their way to the front door through a throng ofreporters. One of them knocks into Vic, who knocks intoDebbie just as Jennifer opens the door.]
Deb: Jesus Christ, what was that?!
Jen: They are waiting for us when we're got home. Someonefrom the hospital must have told them Justin has beenreleast. What happened to you?
Deb: What?
[Jennifer notices that Debbie has spilled marinara sauceall over the front of her shirt. It looks like there'sblood all over her.]
Deb: Oh, Jesus, some assh*le out there have bumped intome and made me spill my marinara all of myself.
Vic: It's supposed to be over the spaghetti, not you.
Deb: Wait until you see all the support is where we'vegot to come to the courtroom.
Jen: Uh, Debbie I just brought Justin home. I can'tsupected him to all that.
Deb: Oh, sure. I understand.
Jen: Wow, you shouldn't have done all this trouble.
Vic: It wasn't any trouble. She cooked it.
Deb: I made Justin favourite - chicken parmasan.
Jen: Well, I'm sure he's gonna love it when I just gethim to eat.
Deb: Of course he'll eat.
Justin: Of course I'll eat.
[Justin comes from the stairs. He has his right handstuck in his sweatshirt pocket.]
Deb: Sunshine!
Jen: Sweetheart, I though you'll taking a nap. Everythingallright?
Justin: I'm fine. Don't I look it?
Vic: Good as new.
Debbie: Better. You have no idea. I have been prayed forthis moment, To see you standing there. To knows you'llbe allright. Shit. Come, give me a kiss.
[Debbie opens up her arms to give Justin a hug. Justinsees the stain on her shirt and freaks, curling up in aball and jumping away from her.]
Jen: Sweetheart, honey it's just marinara sauce, it'sokay.
Deb: Sorry.
Vic: So, why we're all sit down and eat?
Deb: Yeah, taste the rest of the sauce.
Jen: Honey, why you aren't go upstairs and cleaned up?
Justin: Okay.
[Later that evening, Daphnedrives Justin around.]
Justin: "Honey." "Sweety.""Sunshine." Just cause Chris Hobbes f*ck me in the head, and suddenly everyone wants toinfantilize me!
Daphne: You've could have died, you know.
Justin: I was there.
Daphne: They're gonna freak out when they're find outyou've gone.
Justin: I left a note. "Back soon. Love and kisses."
[Daphne drops Justin off on Liberty Avenue. He awkwardly puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it.]
Daphne: Will you be okay?
Justin: I don't know but I'll have to find out. Thank you.
[Justin walks though the mens. Someone taps him on theshoulder.]
Man: Hey, you're be okay?
Justin: [shout out] Don't touch me!
[Woody's. Brian and Michael aresiting on the bar.]
Brian: So, how are the boys in Portland? I bet with allthat rain, they have perfect peach and cream cheeks.
Michael: I'll never hasn't had a chance to do a buttcheck. Besides, David and I have better ways of spendingour evening.
Brian: Like what?
Michael: Like clubs we're eating and listen to music.
Brian: And then checking each other's pulses to make sureyou're still alive? If it was me, I'd be out all night,topping the tall timbers.
Michael: Yeah, well, that's why we have environmentalprotection laws.
Brian: But, Mikey, tell me, I need to now. Does alumberjack off?
Michael: What the f*ck is going on?
Brian: Nothing, the f*ck is going on.
Michael: You're f*cking fall-down mess.
Brian: You're beautiful. I'll always be beautiful. Yousaid so yourself. You've want some?
Michael: You've cut yourself off from everyone, includingme. You're drinking, Christ, like I've never seen youbefore. Maybe you're need to talk to someone.
Brian: Good, cut to be my god-damn mother? You're go backwhere you belong and read and cook and listen to musicwith David and I'll be alright.
Michael: Why haven't you go to see Justin?
Brian: Because there is nothing I can do for him.
[Justin walks into Woody's and is immediately surroundedby a group of people who recognize him from the news.Justin freaks out some more, and tells everyone to getaway from him, backing up until he's finally cowering ina corner, facing the wall.]
Justin: Get away from me!
[Mike pushes through the crowd to get to the boy.]
Michael: Give him some room. Justin, it's me, Michael.
[Justin turns around just as Brian comes back to the bar.Justin's and Brian's eyes meet. Brian looks surprised.]
Michael: Will you just f*cking stand there?!
[The Wedding. All people aredancing to the Go Go. At the gift table.]
Lindsay: At the first marriage, she was registered atTiffany's. The second, Pottery Barn. The third, The BigQ.
Mel: Pathetic, isn't it? Straight people and their sillylittle rituals?
Ted: C'mon, you know it is legal for you and Lindsay toget married, if you would.
Mel: Oh, we can't. So, what's the point?
[Mel takes a drag on her cigarette.]
Lindsay: The bride requested no smoking.
Mel: Oh, f*ck the bride!
Lynette: Hello Melanie.
Mel: Lynette, it's a beautiful wedding.
Lindsay: Just like they've all been.
Ted: The chicken tasted delicious.
Lynette: It was a capon.
Ted: Well, it tasted like chicken.
[In the bushes, Emmett's giving the usher a blowjob. Hestands up, daintily wipes the corners of his mouth, andmakes to join the others at the table.]
Mel: I was just saying, you must really be lookingforward to the honeymoon. Where are you off to this time?
Lynette: Borneo.
Ted: Don't they have a lot of pigs there?
Emmett: Wow, I've got a much better time than I thought.
Lynette: Oh, time to cut the cake. And you promised totoast the lucky couple.
[Lynette goes with her sister out of reach from herfriends.]
Lynette: Before you do I just wanna thank you.
Lindsay: I toast to my only sister wedding.
Lynette: I mean, you're not embarrassing me. Not that Ihave anything against Melanie, and you know I adore Gus,but considering it is my wedding...after all, I justdidn't see any reason for people to be subjected to...
Lindsay: An undignified display of my private life?
[Lynette laughs uncomfortably, touches her much youngersister briefly on the cheek, and goes back into the hall.]
[Inside the house. Time to cutthe wedding cake. Lindsay gets everyone's attention.]
Lindsay: Excuse me, everyone. I'm Lindsay, Lynette'ssister and I like to congratulate her and her husband onthis special occasion. [applause] To stand in front ofyour family and friends, to declare your love andcommitment in the eyes of God is a privilege -- not to betaken lightly. I know, because I've shared a commitmentwith my partner for six wonderful years, even thoughwe're not married. And that's because we're not allowedto be. But that shouldn't stop two people from doing whatthey truly want. Should it? So, I'd like to ask mybeloved, "Will you marry me?"
[Melanie looks like she wants to crawl under the carpetand die. Lindsay laughs in glee at her own boldness andruns over to hug Melanie.]
[At Brian's. Justin and Brian arestanding in front of the bar.]
Justin: The doctor said, if Chris Hobbs h*t me a fractionof an inch this way or that way or a different angle oreven a little bit harder I were complete vegetable ordead. As I is the only damage is the cerebral motorstrang.
Brian: Is that where the drag race to you're brain?
Justin: No, it's a part of the cerebral motor cortex thatcontrols motor skills.
Brian: I know what it is. I attended eighth grade.
Justin: They're driving my sculpture at least out ofblood. They're said that I never draw again.
Brian: Yeah, well there always telling people they'llnever walk again, or draw again, or piss again, so whenyou finally do you'll think they're geniuses, and theycan charge you whatever the f*ck they want.
Justin: Why you didn't come and see me?
Brian: What for?
Justin: Considering I was in a coma for two weeks andrehab for a month, trying to learn that f*cking what for.
Brian: You know, if you really want to regain the agilityand strength in your hand, I suggest jerking off severaltimes a day. It works like magic.
Jutin: You've should at least called to see if I'm stillalive.
Brian: I'm sure I would have heard if you weren't.Besides I'm not you're occupational therpist, not traumaspecial, not even you're goddam mother so there's nothingthat I could have done to you.
Justin: I still don't remember to anything. Last thing Ido remember is you telling me that you wouldn't come tomy prom. But they say that you did show up after all. Andthat we danced together. And that was amazing. Daphnesaid that we were amazing.
Brian: We were allright.
Justin: Shit. I wish I could remember that. And than Iwalked with you backup to you're jeep and that's whenChris Hobbs cames out with the baseball bat...
Brian: But you said you can't remember anything.
Justin: I can't, it's the stuff that other people toldme. It's like a story that happened to somebody else.
Brian: Yeah, well, I can remember. I can remembereverything! I saw him. He was coming after you with thebat.
[Flash to the prom night. Chris Hobbs cames out with thebat.]
Brian: But he was moving too fast, and you were too faraway.
[Brian jumps out of his jeep and scream"Justin!" to warn him. But Chris Hobbs werefaster.]
Brian: And I ran, but there was no time to stop him. Andthen he swung, and it was too late. There was nothing Icould do. And you just lay there on the cold cement.
[Flash to the prom night. Brian's over Justin. "No,no, no, no, no, no. God!". Flash to the present.]
Justin: It wasn't you're fault. [he's going in front ofBrian and they're looking in each other eyes.] It wasn'tyou're fault.
[They're hug each other.]
[Emmett's flat. Emmett comes backfrom the wedding, bouquet and usher in tow. The usher'scarrying a piece of cake, which Emmett takes from him togive to Michael.]
Man: Try this.
Emmett: Let me get this piece to my roommate. Even if heis practically married. Why don't you go right to mybedroom, over there. I'll be with you in one minute.
[He opens the door to Mike's bedroom and finds him havingsex with the guy he was checking out at Woody's. Emmettquietly closes the door.]
[Outside Justin's home. Briandrops Justin off.]
Justin: Thanks.
Brian: For what?
Justin: For the ride, for saving me.
Brian: I didn't saving.
Justin: I meant tonight. So, will I see you again?
Brian: Yeah, you'll see me.
Justin: Don't wait too long. At this rate, who knows howlong I'll be around?
[Justin goes to the door. Brian looks at him. Jen opensthe door.]
Jen: Justin! Were have you been? Have you any idea howworried I was? How could you just leave like that?!
Justin: I left a notice.
Jen: Come inside.
[Mike and Emmett's. Mike tries toget the guy from Woody's out of the apartment beforeEmmett sees him.]
Michael: Okay, c'mon, c'mon. Be quiet. Okay.
Guy: I left my number by the bed.
Michael: Great. Let's go.
Guy: Call me.
[The guy's gone. Michael walks quietly to his room.Emmett turns on the lights. He's siting on the couch.]
Emmett: So, how was you're piece of cake?
[Melanie's and Lindsay's. Lindsayphones with her mother. She seems very angry.]
Lindsay: Mom, please. Mom, would you please stop crying!No, she did me not up to it.
Mel: That's right. Blame the Jew!
Lindsay: If Lynette can get married three times, then whycan't I?!
Nancy: "Two women cannot get married. How are wegoing to show our faces?"
Lindsay: Love to Daddy. Can't wait to see the video.
[She slams the phone down. Melanie get up and dress heron.]
Lindsay: Bitch! I can't believe this upset.
Mel: Fear not. In time, they'll sweep it underneath theirWASPy rugs and forget all about it.
Lindsay: I don't want forget about it. I want full andequal recognition -- if not by the law, then at least inmy parents' house!
Mel: I'd count on getting hitched in Mississippi first.
Lindsay: Can't we stay in bed a little bit longer?
Mel: Oh, ...
Lindsay: You still haven't answered my question. Will youmerry me?
Mel: You aren't serious?
Lindsay: I was d*ad serious. Why do they get to receiveeveryone's blessings and presents and we don't?
Mel: I knew it had about the presents. Look, you can'tget married. For one thing, it's not even legal, and foranother, you know how I feel about weddings. They'remeaningless, ...
Both: ...antiquated rituals for heterosexuals.
Lindsay: I've heard.
Mel: Linds, we have a marriage. And a family. Six yearsstrong. Give or take a few bumps in the road. It nice iswould be to have a party and a payback finally for allthe wedding guest we're shall have. We're don't need anybrute that we're love each other. So, let's go grab ourkid and get some brunch.
[Mike and Emmett's apartment. Tedjoins them.]
Emmett: If I knew how many men you could meet at straightfunctions, I would have started going years ago.
Ted: You're the one truffle in the garden.
Emmett: I wouldn't be so sure. I have my suspicions aboutthe groom.
Ted: You mean Lindsay's sister break their own record?What's about you, Michael? How was you're night on thetown?
Emmett: He brought home a nice centerpiece of his own.
Michael: Jesus, Em!
Ted: Well. You certainly didn't waste any time, did you?In town less than twenty-four hours.
Emmett: Why shouldn't he get a little action? He'soutside the four-hundred-mile limit for extramaritalquickies and anonymous assignations. Mind you, if youwant to do anything further, you'll have to do overseastravel and a fourteen-minimum day stay...
Ted: I just thought, with everything you wrote, you know.That you and David were so in love. So committed.
Emmett: Every relationship has its own set of rules.Their arrangement is none of our business. Right,sweetie? I want some pot sticker.
Michael: We broke up.
Ted: What?
Michael: It's over. David and I are over.
Emmett: Mmmh, these are the best dumplings I've ever had.
Ted: Did you hear what he just said?
Emmett: He broke up. You're broke up. So why the f*ck youdidn't tell us?
Michael: I was going to.
Ted: When? After you convince us that you found paradiselost?
Michael: When the time was right. You're know but there'snever a right time to admit that you failed. That you hadthis great opportunity to start your life over withsomeone that you loved, or thought you loved, and youblew it. I blew it. I complained that David was workingtoo much, and that I couldn't find a job, and that Ididn't have any friends. And when I accused him of beingthoughtless and not caring, and said that if I knew itwas going to be like this, I never would have come, hesaid, 'Well, go home, Michael!' Go home.
Ted: Well, I wouldn't say that you failed.
Emmett: And it's not true that you that you don't haveany friends. 'Cause you still got us.
Ted: That is for coming home, there is no shame in that.That's what it's here for.
[They hug each other.]
[The Sentencing Hearing of ChrisHobbes. Mike, Debbie, Melanie, Lindsay, and Vic sit inthe front row.]
Judge: The fact that Christopher Hobbes pled guilty as*ault charges for his vicious att*ck on Justin Taylorin no way mitigates the seriousness of this crime, or thetragic effects on both these young men's lives. Both werehonor students at St. James Academy; both were planningto attend college. Now one young man is recovering fromserious brain injuries, and the other is facing a prisonsentence. I ask myself, how could this have happened?
Deb: I tell ya how. Chris Hobbes is a h*m* animalwho should be put away.
Judge: I can only imagine how profoundly disturbing itmust have been for a young man of Chris Hobbes's fine,moral upbringing to be approached sexually by a malestudent, then to see him flaunt his lifestyle by bringinghis male lover to the prom and engaging in what has beendescribed as a highly provocative dance.
[Brian walks in the courtroom and sits in the row behindhis friends.]
Judge: Given the fact that he was drinking -- which heshould not have been -- I could understand how ChrisHobbes might lose control of his better judgement. Still,this does not excuse his actions. And so I have struggledto find the appropriant sentence to impulse for thisunfortunable crime. Court will recess in 10 minutes.
[The judge stands up and leave the room.]
Deb: Where the f*ck is he going?
Emmett: It's the hell of a time to leave.
Ted: Great suspense.
Mel: It's how he's got his name "regular boy".Every day at 12:15 on the dot he goes to the bathroomacross the hall, sits in the stall under the window andtakes a dump and has a smoke.
Emmett: No way!
Ted: You're gotta be kidding!
Mel: No matter who was sentensing.
[The judge returns to his place. Everyone stands up ,except Brian.]
Judge: Christopher Michael Hobbs, this court exceptyou're plea of guilty for a simple as*ault. Because ofyour age, because you have no previous offenses, andbecause you were unduly provoked, you are hereby given atwo-year suspended sentence and ordered to serve fivehundred hours of community service.
[The judge leaves the room. Chris Hobbs smiles and shakeshis lawyers hand.]
Deb: No, that's not right. Wait a minute. Wait a minute!
[In front of the building. ChrisHobbs and his lawyer were interviewed by some reporters.Deb and the g*ng are standing a little bit outside.]
Deb: Look at him. His practically f*cking m*rder. How heget's off free?
Mel: They made a deal. His lawayer agreed to pleadedguilty, the prosecutor reduced the charge from aggravatedto simple as*ault, and Roy sent him off with probationand service.
Deb: He'd have gotten more for bashing a dog!
Michael: It's okay, mom. Let's go home, get some rest.
Deb: Damn right I'm going home, but not to rest. I'mgoing to call every P-FLAG chapter in this country; we'renot putting up with this for one f*ck' second. We'regoing to march, and we're going to carry huge signs, andlet this assh*le judge know what we think of him.
Vic: That's enough.
Deb: We're gonna march on Washington, if we have to!
Vic: No, sis...
Deb: YOU'RE HEAR THAT?!
[Deb tries to run to Chris Hobbs, but she's pull awayfrom Michael and Vic. Deb cries on Michael's shoulder.]
Michael: It's okay. It's okay. He's not gonna get awaywith this. We're march, we're protest.
[At Brian's loft. Mike and Brianare alone. Brian reads something.]
Brian: Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. All protests arebullshit. Well-meaning do-gooders marching around,carrying signs. Chanting? 'Hey, hey, ho, ho, h*m*'sgot to go'? Give me a g*dd*mn f*cking prick.
Michael: So, I guess this means you're not going with us?
Brian: Hell no, I won't go!
Michael: So, you're gonna sit you there on you're ass anddo nothing.
Brian: Yeah, I guess so. Jesus, what the f*ck did I everdo without you to harangue me? When the hell are yougoing back, anyway?
Michael: I'm not.
Brian: I know.
Michael: Had Ted and Emmett tell you?
Brian: No, I managed to figured it out all by my littleself. I mean, I knew it wouldn't work out.
Michael: Oh, congratulations, right as usual.
Brian: It's not about me, assh*le, it's about you. Imean, did you really think you'd be happy in Wisconsinliving as a doctor's wife?
Michael: Oregon. Portland's in Oregon.
Brian: Wherever the f*ck.
Michael: Maybe that's the problem. I don't know where f*ck I belong.
[Brian grabs Michaels arm and pulls Mike down for akiss.]
Brian: There. That's where. Well, will you go on and helpyou're mom and make the world safe for f*g.
Michael: What is this? Is this our old chemestry book?It's look like this from highschool.
Brian: Yeah, it's... I'm doin' some research. I have anew client for a drug company.
Michael: Well, you must be thrilled. You'll be able toget E wholesale.
[Back in the courtroom bathroom.Judge Roy primps in the mirror, then takes his usualstall. He sits down, groaning in satisfaction. When he'sdone, he puts out his cigarette, then tries to get up offof the toilet. But he's stuck to it. Very stuck.]
[At Woody's, the g*ng watch anews report about Judge Roy's mishap.]
Reporter: "After spending 14 hours glued to a toiletseat the judge was unharmed but badly shaken..."
[all laughs.]
Mel: The seat of justice has been severely compromised.
Emmett: No skin off my ass.
Ted: I bet he wishes he could say the same thing.
Lindsay: Who do you think did it?
Mel: Someone who did can't wait for the sentence.
[Michael thinks about it and Brian's chemestry bookyesterday.]
Michael: You know what this reminds me of? That time inChemistry class when you said you were going to inventsynthetic cum, and you made that goo? And you put it allover the toilet seat in the teacher's lounge and Mrs.Renfro got glued to it.
Brian: I better take off.
[Outside the Taylor Condo, Justinand Brian toss around a whiffle ball. Daphne watches,sitting on the steps with Brian.]
Justin: I knew they led him go. They don't care about us;they wish we were all d*ad.
Brian: Look, don't think it's okay just focus on whatyou're doing.
Justin: Shit! f*ck! [Justin curses when his hand seizesup.]
Brian: C'mon, you can do it.
Justin: No, I can't.
Brian: Yes, you can. C'mon.
[Justin tries one more time and got it.]
Daphne: Hey, that one was good, Justin.
Justin: Daph, you're so full of shit.
[Jen drives up.]
Jen: Hi, honey. Hi, Daphne. [Pause]
Brian: Hello, Mrs.Taylor.
Jen: Hello, Brian.
Brian: We're just tossing the ball.
Jen: I think you should rest, honey.
Justin: I'm not tired.
Jen: I'd like to speek to Brian.
Justin: C'mon, Daph.
[Justin and Daphne goes inside. Jen and Brian are allalone.]
Jen: The day they sent him home from the hospital, thedoctor said he'd never seen such a determined patient,and then he asked what it was that made him work so hard.I knew but I didn't tell him - it was you. Every day thatyou didn't come to see him was more incentive for him toget better so he could get out and he come and see you.Of course, what Justin didn't know, and I didn't tellhim, was that you were there, every night. The nurse onduty told me. I want to thank you for that. But he's homenow, safe and sound, and there isn't any reason anymorefor you to watch over him, so I would like you to leave.And never see him again.
Brian: I care about him.
Jen: It was because of you, he was almost k*lled. -Forgive me for being so blunt. I've tried to accept himfor who he is. To accept your world and his part of it.I've even tried to accept you. And as a result, I nearlylost him. And I don't intend to lose him again. And so,if you really care about him, and I believe you do,you'll do what I ask, and return my son to me.
[Brian tries to come up with something to say, butfinally just hands her the whiffle ball and walks to hiscar. Looking down the street, he sees two boys tossing abaseball to each other. Brian takes a depth breath, getsinto the Jeep, and drives away.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x01 - Home is Where the Ass is"} | foreverdreaming |
[Justin dashes across the streetto Brian's loft. He hops up the stairs and knocks on thedoor.]
Justin: Brian! Brian! Brian!
[The door opens, but Chris Hobbes is on the other side.Before Justin can react, Hobbes grabs him and pulls himinto the loft. Justin screams...and wakes up in his ownbed. Jennifer runs in.]
Jen: Justin! Sweetheart, it's just a dream.
[She touches his shoulder.]
Justin: Don't touch me. [he cries.]
[Emmett, Ted and Brian survey theaction on the dancefloor from the stairs. Emmett staresat a go-go dancer.]
Emmett: God, I want his ass.
Ted: Who doesn't?
Emmett: No, I mean I'm really want his ass, not thistired old thing.
Ted: You've always said you're ass is you're findestfeatures.
Emmett: Only laterly is looking a little peaked.
Brian: Yeah, well, maybe it needs a rest.
Emmett: What it's need is a lift.
Ted: You're too young for a plastic surgery.
Emmett: Ha, ha. This life can wear you out by the timeyou're thirty. Right, Brian? Besides it's something we'reall striving for - no matter what age.
Ted: Trust me, take it from me. Who do you let hands with- very pricely.
Emmett: What? Teddy, don't tell me you're that work done.
Brian: Yeah, because if you have, I'd sue.
Ted: I'm speaking in my profession proposerty as anfinanciel advicer - Butt work costs big bucks.
Emmett: Big bucks I don't have.
Brian: Well, maybe you can sell that old tired ass for anew one.
[Michael comes to them.]
Michael: I just had the most amazing f*cking blowjob.Want a bump?
Ted: No.
Emmett: Thanks, no.
Brian: No.
Michael: What's wrong with you, guys?
Ted: It's late. Tomorrow is a work day.
Brian: Yeah, for some of us.
Emmett: Sightseeing is over.
Michael: It's early. C'mon, we've just got here. Par-tay!
[Ted and Emmett are leaving.]
Brian: You've been partying ever since you got back.
Michael: So what if I have? I'm free now. I can stay allnight and f*ck my breans out like you. Stands.
Brian: I don't want to.
Michael: It'll be good for you, old. Take remind a thing.
Brian: I've said, I don't want to.
Michael: You always like dancing with Justin.
[Brian gets up and walks away without saying anotherword.]
[The next morning. Ted, Emmettand Mike sit at the counter at the Liberty Diner. Mikelooks like hell and tired.]
Deb: Okay boys, what would'll be? [She looks to her son.]Jesus Christ, what happened to you?
Michael: I'm not quite sure, but whatever it was my headfeels like the dancefloor in Babylon.
Deb: Well, that's what you get for sucking and f*ck all hours, huh? On a school night.
Michael: I'm not in school, Ma.
Deb: Well, maybe you should be. You've got a lot oflearning to do.
Michael: Before we're start the lecture I order first,please?
Deb: I want you to hear what I have to say on an emptystomach, so maybe you'll digest it. Get over David. Get ajob. Get on with your life. Now. What will it be?
Michael: Beacon and eggs, eggs over beacon and very,very, very, very easy.
Emmett: Mmmh, make it two.
Ted: Three.
Deb: And plenty of black coffee.
[Debbie goes away.]
Emmett: You're mom's right, sweetie for you're owndignety, for you're own self-worth. Not to mention youhave to rent. You're need to go back to work.
Michael: Do what?
Ted: Well, there's always the Big Q.
Emmett: He doesn't want to go back to the crapemployment. He needs to try something new, somethingdaring. Something fabulous.
Ted: f*ck fabulous. He needs something steady, somethingpractical. Something secure.
Emmett: Like being an accountant?
Ted: He should only be so lucky. I've got a pension fund,a health plan and most importantly piece of mine. I go tosleep every night knowing that thirty-one years from now,when I retire from Wertshafter and Company, I can movedown to Boca and live like a king.
Emmett: Or queen.
[Deb comes with the orders.]
Deb: So, what would you like on your toast, Your Majesty?Strawberry jam or caviar?
[Mel and Lindsay's garden. Guswatches from his stroller, his mom and dad struggle tobuild him a swing set.]
Brian: Attached part a, part j to part k. Using agrag...? What the f*ck is a gragert?
Lindsay: Beats me. I'm sure Mel would now. She's a whizwith the hardware.
Brian: Oh, I bet (!) Do you think we should hire someoneelse?
Lindsay: Hey, it's your duty as a father to build yourson's first swing set. Now get cracking -- I want itready in time for his first birthday.
Brian: I know -- it seems like only yesterday I wasjacking off into that cup.
Lindsay: And you and Michael and Justin were tearing intothe room. You couldn't believe you had a son.
Brian: Two sons.
Lindsay: Why don't you give his mother a call and see howhe's doing?
Brian: She doesn't want me to see him again.
Lindsay: I know, but maybe when you spoke to her...
Brian: No, she's right. It's better this way. [They tryto stand the swing set up.] f*ck this! Maybe I'll have itbuilt in time for your wedding.
Lindsay: Oh, there will be no wedding. Mel turned medown. [Brian laughs.] Oh, it's nice to see you laughing,finally, assh*le.
Brian: You found propose to her and she blew you off? Howcome?
Lindsay: Well, for reasons I'm sure you would appreciate.'I don't think a meaningless heterosexual ritual wouldprove our love, and it wouldn't be legal anyway.'
Brian: You can't argue with that.
Lindsay: Okay, I was on the debate team. I can argueanything.
Brian: But I think for once I agree with Melanie. f*ck. f*ck rituals. And f*ck this swing set!
[Lindsay laughs.]
[At The Big Q, Tracy gives Mike abig hug.]
Tracy: Mike! It's so good to see you.
Michael: You, too, Trac.
Tracy: What made you come back? You were really excitedabout goin'.
Michael: David and I broke up.
Tracy: Oh. I'm sorry.
Michael: Yeah, so I'm just gonna picking up what I leftup to come by here and see if my old job is...
Andrew: Well, look who's honouring us with his presents.
Michael: Hey, Andrew.
Andrew: Never tought you see again, Novotny.
Tracy: Mike moves back to Pittsburgh.
Andrew: No kidding. I must have missed it on the news.Aren't you supposed you to re-stocking?
Tracy: Yes, sir.
[she leaves them alone.]
Andrew: So, things didn't work out, huh?
Michael: I wouldn't say that. Sometimes you've got to trynew things. Discover what's right for you. Find out whereyou really belong. And I discovered what's right for meis being here. Maybe they give me my old job back.
Andrew: Oh, I hate brake it to you, but you're old job isbeing filled.
Michael: Oh...
Andrew: After you left, Don promoted me.
Michael: That's great.
Andrew: Yeah, as glas to see you finally you came tosenses. So, I guess you're outta luck.
Michael: I guess, I am. Um, well if you happen to hearanything...
Andrew: Well, as a matter of fact we do have a positionfor which I think you would be ideally suited since youalready had it. Assistant Manager.
Michael: You mean, working for you.
Andrew: You've got it. Let me know if you're interested.
[Debbie's kitchen.]
Jen: He had nightmares like last night. I won't me toconfort him but the doctor says it's normal - even ifthat call normal, that kind of behavoir. If someones beenattacked but to see him in that kind of pain... You know,I'm wanna help him, only it's seemed have... I can't.
Deb: It's okay. [Jen cries. Debbie offers ahandkerchief.] Here.
Jen: Thanks.
Vic: Have some coconut cake.
Jen: Oh, no thanks.
Deb: Vic made it - himself.
Vic: Yeah, it's my warm-up for Gus's birthday.
Deb: He used to be a pastry chef.
Vic: Black bottoms were my specialty.
Deb: I didn't say a word.
[Jen tries a piece of it.]
Jen: Mmmh, mmmh, this is good.
Deb: Too good.
Vic: We f*g are a talented bunch. You got a hand instand.
Deb: And indestructible, too. If AIDS and gay bashers andcrackpot Christians, and f*cking Republicans can'tdestroy you, then nothing can!
Vic: And Justin will make it, too. You'll see.
Jen: Uh, I got to run. Molly's gonna come back from herplay date. Thanks for the cake.
Vic: We'll see you, Jen.
[Debbie walks Jennifer to the door.]
Deb: You know, Jennifer, they say that a boy's bestfriend, especially a gay boy, is his mother. That's notalways the case. Maybe he needs someone else. Somebodywho can get close to him. More important somebody that hewill be close to.
Jen: Debbie, I'm sorry but not after what happened.
Deb: Well, it was just a suggestion.
Jen: Besides, I can look after for him myself.
Deb: Of course you can. Okay.
[Justin stands across the streetfrom Brian's apartment, just like in his dream. Hecrosses the street and runs up the stairs. He knocks onthe door.]
Justin: Brian! Brian!
[Brian opens the door.]
Justin: I'm glad to see you.
Brian: Who else could it be? [Justin want to walk in.]Where you goin'?
Justin: In.
Brian: Did I say you could?
Justin: Don't give me any shit, all right? I nearlyfreaked out five times getting here.
Brian: Well, you're gonna have to nearly freak out fivemore times getting home.
Justin: I want to see you.
Brian: Well, you can't, okay?
Justin: Why not? Are you f*cking some guy?
Brian: None of you're f*cking business. Go away!
[Brian closes the door in Justin's face.]
Justin: But why? WHY?!
[Wertshafter and Co. The camerapans past men in cubicles, each looking at straight p*rn their computer. The camera stops on Ted. Ted's lookingat gay p*rn, featuring a guy nicknamed "TheChunnel," who's sticking a huge black dildo wherethe sun don't shine. Ted's also on the phone with Emmett,busy dressing a mannequin at Torso.]
Ted: You can't believe what this guy can take. No wonderthey call him "The Chunnel".
Emmett: Are you at Misterfister.net again?
Ted: It's my late afternoon coffee break.
Emmett: I supposed you're early afternoon coffee break,you're late morning coffee break...
Ted: Some guys get all the breaks.
Emmett: When do you find the time to work?
`
Ted: Let me just finished this. Actually I work on myreport that Wertshafter expecting it... [he's looking atthe screen.] Holy shit, he's playing high de-hydrant!
Emmett: The f*re dydrant?
[Ted spills coffee all over his lap.]
Ted: f*ck!
Emmett: What? What?
Ted: Just spill coffee on my pants.
Emmett: Watch out for the creme.
Ted: I...I gotta get off.
Emmett: Are you sure you didn't already?
Ted: f*ck...
[Ted tries to dry his pants. Suddenly Mr.Wertshaftercomes up.]
Mr. Wertshafter: Schmidt!
[Mr. Wertshafter see Ted's wet pants and looks at hiscomputer screen and see the gay p*rn.]
Ted: Mr. Wertshafter, I can... I can explain this... I...I... f*ck!
[Justin's room. Justin's throwinga big ole temper tantrum, along with everything else hecan get his hands on. He's ripping his pictures off thewall, the sheets off the bed, books off the table.Jennifer and Molly come running in.]
Jen: Justin, my God. What are you doin'? Stop it. Stop!
Molly: Why is Justin freaking out?
Jen: Molly, go back to you're room. Go on! Justin, pleasestop it.
[Jen tries to get Justin to calm down by grabbing hisarm. Justin repells her.]
Justin: You told him, you didn't want him to see meanymore, didn't you?
Jen: It was for you're own good and he agreed.
Justin: You had no right!
Jen: Justin, I want you safe from and that everythingwill be alright.
[She tries to touch him to comfort but his repells heragain.]
Justin: Guess what, it's too late! Thing's never gonna bealright. My life is f*cked. Chris Hobbes saw to that! Heshould have k*lled me!
[The gym. Mike and Emmett workout as Ted rans on and on.]
Ted: And then f*cking Wertshafter gave me the shaft, canyou believe it?
Emmett: I wouldn't believe it first the first threehundred times you you've told me.
Ted: He fired me. Me - the hardest worker and devotedemployee he's got. And for what?
Michael: w*nk*ng to the web?
Ted: No, no, no, no. I wasn't w*nk*ng. I was watching -same as everybody else in that office. The onlydifference I wasn't watching like everbody else watches.
Emmett: Straight sex.
Ted: Yeah, it's fine to salevate over some bimbo withboops.
Michael: That's discrimination on the workplace.
Ted: You're damn right, it is. If he thinks for a minutethat I'm not gonna find another place to reveal mysexuality like you, no offense, but he is mightelymistaken.
Michael: Don't worry, Ted. But with you're educationexperience you'll find another job.
Ted: Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure. Not after the find outthe reason I cease. Christ. What I'm gonna be do?
Emmett: Well, maybe there is something in be here.
Ted: Well, in that f*g wag, please!
Emmett: Well I was thinking I'm looking for a bluelightposition for myself, something to argument my income.Huh, what's this? "Earn up to a hundred dollar anhour."
Ted: An hour?
Michael: Doin' what?
Emmett: Well, what we call and find out? [he dials.]Hello? Yes, I came across you're add in "In andOut".
Ted: This wouldn't be the first time.
Emmett: Is it true you can earn up to a hundred dollarsan hour? Really? And what exactly does one have to do?
Michael: Volunteer for hideous medical experiments? Serveas a live target for the military?
Emmett: Oh, that's all? It's one of the those domesticservices -- you know, waiters, private parties, maids.
Ted: It's a lot of bucks for house keeping.
Michael: You made more in a couple hours than I make in aweek in Big Q. What about you?
Ted: I have an MBA from Wharton. I don't do windows.
Michael: I have three semesters from Allegate CommunityCollege. I'll do anything.
Emmett: Oh, that's fabulous. Yes, well thank you. Theyhave openings right now. [to his butt] Well, boys. Thingsare looking up.
[Brian's loft. Brian's justfinished with some trick.]
Guy: Did you ever see Citizen Kane?
Brian: Yeah.
Guy: All my life, all I've heard is how it's the f*ck movie ever made. So I finally rent it. The guywho plays the lead is fat. The story about some sledsucks. And it's in black and white.
Brian: Maybe you're expecting to much.
Guy: Like with you. All I ever heard is how Brian Kinneyis the greatest f*ck ever. If you ask me, you're bothhighly overrated.
Brian: Everybody's a critic. [They've going to the door.]Next time maybe you should rent bottle boys. I gave ittwo thumps up.
[He opens the door naked. Jennifer stand on the otherside. Jennifer is discombobulated. Brian acts likenothing's amiss.]
Jen: I came at the wrong time.
Brian: [looks to the guy] You two have a lot in common.
[The guy leaves his room. Brian lollygags across the roomand grabs some pants.]
Jen: May I come in? [Brian nodded.] This place is very...glamorous.
Brian: Does the trick.
Jen: I'm sure. You know if you ever feel like selling I'mrealtor now.
Brian: He's not here.
Jen: I know. That's why I came, to ask you a favor.
Brian: I already did you one.
Jen: Yeah, but uh not this one's for him. I want you totake him.
Brian: Excuse me?
Jen: I want you to take my son.
Brian: Mrs.Taylor...
Jen: Jennifer.
Brian: Whatever, what the f*ck are you're talking about?
Jen: He...wouldn't let anyone touch him, let anyone nearhim, shows practically no emotion except when he's in oneof his ranges or he asleep screaming from a nightmare butthat's not even the worst part. The worst part isstanding there, helpless. Do you have any idea what thatfeels like?
Brian: What would you like me to do?
Jen: Touch him. Help him be touched.
Brian: You want me to f*ck him?
Jen: You're the one he trusts. If that's what it takes.
Brian: I thought you want me never gonna see him again.
Jen: I don't but um, if I'm never gonna seen my son everremotely resemble the person he was. And don't have achoice.
[Melanie and Lindsay's house.Melanie puts together the swing set in the living room,Lindsay divides up party favors in the dining room, andTed stands in the doorway between the two.]
Ted: And there's nothing I can do. No recorse, nolaw-sue, no damages?
Mel: Two words, Teddy - you're screwd.
Ted: That it's extremely interaction.
Mel: Ou! f*ck this thing! [she smatters it on the ground.] There is no law in the state that provence discrimination of gays in the workplace. Wertshafter cando whatever the hell he wants.
Ted: f*ck! Son of a bitch, you know I have a mind to walk right in the town exactly how I feel.
Lindsay: Want to. Look him straight in the eye and tell him even in the opposite you think what he did isunjustly and unequitable.
Ted: Right, I just might do that. Maybe. Thanks for theadvice - The Sucker.
Lindsay: Bye.
Mel: Bye.
Lindsay: Poor Ted.
Mel: It's one more example of having no rights.
Lindsay: Like getting married?
Mel: You aren't this gonna start again?
Lindsay: Hey, let me finish. That night we came back frommy sisters wedding, I went into the garden after you fellasleep.
Mel: You did?
Lindsay: Mmmh-mmmh. I study imagine exactly how I want itto look. What you call it?
Mel: Chuppah.
Lindsay: A chuppah under the tree. Pink and white flowersand little twinky lights everywhere like the milky way
Mel: Uh-huh.
Lindsay: But today I was out as I figured out that Idecorate for Gus's party and I said to myself, 'Peterson- what the hell are you thinking? I mean, you gonna havetwenty tallers on Saturday and have to handle withtandrums and tears and drop. Mel's right. The time forbeing romantic has past.'
Mel: Look, I don't mean that.
Lindsay: It's a silly ritual for straight people. A bankrupt institution. No, we have to be practical now.So, I apologize for making it such a big deal. And I promise to never, never mention it again.
[Brian's jeep. Justin as passenger. Brian's driving.]
Justin: She though she could keep us apart. 'I don't want you see my son anymore.' We showed her.
Brian: Would you shut up?
Justin: What for?
Brian: Because I said so. And because you sound like animmature brat.
Justin: Maybe I am.
Brian: Then you can kick out you're ass out and walk home- right now.
Justin: What is the matter with you?
Brian: She was trying to do the right thing. You don'tknow how lucky you are to have a mother like that.
Justin: Now I could stay with you. Yee-haw!
Brian: Just until you're get better.
Justin: There's nothing wrong. Except from my gip head...f*cking Hobbs.
Brian: I don't think about it.
Justin: How come you're doin' this?
Brian: What, driving with no hands?
Justin: No, why lettin' me stay with you?
Brian: Why did you care? It's that what you want.
Justin: I know why. It's because you love me madly,passionately, deeply. Just like I always suspected.
[Mike and Emmett wander around amansion, until they come across a kitchen bustling withactivity.]
Michael: It's a pretty fency place.
Emmett: Well, they paying this, it have to be.
Michael: I never bein a waiter. I don't know if I coulddo this.
Emmett: Honey, this is you're family business. It's inyour blood. Now, you go in there and make your motherproud.
Man: Are you two the waiters?
Emmett: Oh, yes sir.
Man: But why aren't you dressed?
Michael: Um, they said you give us the uniforms whenwe've got here.
Man: The outfits? (to another man) Where are the outfits?Quickly! [He gives them two bags.] Hurry up and put theseon.
[Mike and Emmett take the bags they're given and pull outa cummerbund each.]
Michael: Where is the rest of the tux?
[The man got's stressed and leaves them alone.]
Emmett: Excuse me, I think there's been a...mistake.
[The mansion's dining room. Mikeand Emmett walk in, wearing only cummerbunds and blackbowties. Each holds a wine bottle in front of his dick.]
Emmett: Uh, white wine, uh, or red?
Man#1: White.
Emmett: Very good, sir.
[Emmett shifts bottles and pours while the man smacks himon the butt and hangs on.]
Michael: Shrimp balls?
[Man#2 leers at Mike's crotch.]
Man#2: I wouldn't say that.
[Michael also get pinched in his butt.]
Michael: Keep your hands off the tenderloin.
[Brian's loft. Brian lounges inbed, naked. Justin comes over and lies down as far fromBrian as possible.]
Brian: What are you doin' all over there? Come closer.What are the all clothes? You might get over heated.
[Justin nervously gets undressed. Brian kisses Justinsoftly.]
Brian: Roll over.
[He grabs a condom and puts it on, but before he can doanything else.]
Justin: Don't. Don't! - I can't.
[Justin sits on the bed and cry loudless.]
Brian: It's okay.
Justin: It's not okay!
[At Woody's. Brian ask some otherguy on the bar.]
Man: You know, for someone who has enough disorders tomerit your own classification in the Diagnostic andStatistical Manual, you are one of the most well-adjustedand high-functioning bastards I know.
Brian: Thanks (!)
Man: What's you're secret?
Brian: A series of hopeless addictions, for one. And, uh,never seeing a shrink, for another.
Man: You're seeing someone there. So, you're try to holdhim, have sex with him but he wouldn't let you touch him?This must be a first for you. However, it'sunderstandible. Something like that happens, natuarlyhe's afraid to anyone touch him - even you.
Brian: But he get over it, right?
Man: It depends. It's like a fairy tale. Rapunzel trappedin a tower. Hansel and Gretel caged by the witch. Only inthis case, it's Justin's memory that's been locked up.And it's up to you to release it, Handsome Prince.
Brian: And... how the f*ck do I do that?
Man: Trigger his memory. Get him the feel from pain.
Brian: Are you shidding me?
Man: It's only he can process and beyond it. He's alwaysgoing to feel isolated and unhappy and alone. Not justthe walking wounded. The walking d*ad.
Brian: You're very eloquent when you're drunk.
Man: I'm afraid times up.
Brian: So, how much do I own you?
Man: I'll take it out in trade. Next time I see you inthe baths.
[Mike and Emmett's. Mike has hispants pulled down just low enough to allow us to see hisbutt in the mirror behind him. His behind is covered withred marks.]
Michael: It was awful -- all those dirty old men, staringat me and pinching my ass.
Emmett: It was fabulous! All those dirty old men staringat me and pinching my ass!
Ted: Welcome to Point-Counterpoint.
Emmett: Besides since when have you bruise marks? Didn'tit feel better? We're each made 500 dollars.
Michael: How much is it after taxes?
Ted: Why you asking me for?
Michael: You're an accountant.
Ted: Was an accountant.
Emmett: Well, it's clear to me what you have to do.
Ted: How to open a milk carton isn't clear to you.Nevertheless I can't wait to hear you're thoughs.
Emmett: Sue him. Take his h*m* ass...
Michael: Au!
Emmett: Sorry, sweety. ...to court and sue him for 10mill. No make it twenty. Okay. My turn.
[Emmett lies down on his front and Michael salves hisass.]
Ted: That's brilliant, only Melanie told me there is nolaw in the state covered discrimination based on sexualorientation.
Michael: Gross that!
Emmett: Now just rub!
Ted: I'm gonna talk to Wertshafter confront him like aman, tell him 'Look, I'm an loyal and devoted employeefrom nine years. He's got no right to treat me like thisbecause I'm gay.' Then I'm gonna gravel.
Michael: That sounds like a plan.
Emmett: What type of pathetic p*ssy boys are you? Where'syour pride? Where's your self-respect? Where's yourdignity? [phone rings.] Hello? Yes, is he. Yes. I believewe're availible. Thank you very much. [he hangs up.] Awealthy client would like an attractive domestic topolish his silver.
Michael: I hope your butt holds up.
Emmett: Honey bucks allow lotion. Alright boys, I'm offto buff in the buff!
Ted: So much for dignity.
[At the loft, Brian, Justin, andDaphne roll up the carpet, push away the furniture, andstart the healing process.]
Daphne: Well, we're dancing. And, uh, I think they'replaying this. That's when Brian came in he had on a tuxwith a white sulk stratch.
[Quick flashbacks to the prom.]
Justin: I think I can remember that. - I'm not sure.
Daphne: Well, you looked awesome. And he said to me.
Brian: [flash to the prom] "You look hot, Daphne.I'd f*ck you."
Daphne: And then he asked if he can borrow you to danceand he took you're hands and let you to the dancefloor.And they playing this.
[Music: Ben E.King "# Save the Last Dance forMe". While this following scene there is a few shortflashbacks to the prom night.]
Brian: Close you're eyes and remember.
#You can dance-every dance with the guy Who gives you theeye,let him hold you tight
You can smile-every smile for the man Who held your handneath the pale moonlight
But don't forget who's takin' you home And in whose armsyou're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me
Brian:Well?
Justin: We're really dance to this corny old song?
Brian: I'm prefered to think about it as ridiculouslyromantic.
Daphne: You should have seen it. You and Brian had theentire floor to yourselfs.
Brian: And did some pretty fancy moves.
Daphne: Mauls were dropping. You were so cool and then...then you guys kissed - so hot.
Justin: You kissed me? In front of everybody?
Brian: Yeah. You should have been there.
#You can dance,go and carry on
Till the night is gone
And it's time to go #
[The Big Q. Tracy and Mike are ontheir way out of the store.]
Tracy: So, first day back. How d'you feel?
Michael: Like I never left.
Tracy: I know what you mean. Working at the Big Q kind ofspoils you for anything else.
[They run into Andrew.]
Andrew: There you are, Novotny. Callagher who supposedjust called in to sick. You need you to stay untilmidnight.
Michael: But I just finished a ten hour shift.
Andrew: Are you saying you have a problem? Because I'dhate to think I hired an assistant manager who's refusingto do the job.
Michael: Sure. I'll stay. Happy to.
Andrew: Good. Take up you're coat, make youself at homeand start retagging these. See you in the morning. Oh,and... welcome back.
[he left.]
Tracy: Look, I can call my boyfriend and I cancel dinner.He needs to lose a few pounds anyway.
Michael: No, no, you're goin' Tracy. No reason everyonesnight should be ruined.
[Brian drives Justin to theParking Deck. They leave the car.]
Brian: You've walked down with be back to the jeep. Wewere... goofy. We're dancing... I kissed yout. Then youturn around... smiled. And then I knew why Debbie callsyou 'Sunshine.' And then I went back to the jeep and thenI saw him in rearview mirror coming up to you.
[several flashbacks during this scene. Then Justin get'shitted and he lies on the ground.]
Brian: CHRIST! Don't you remember aynthing?
[Justin turns around and see Brian gets sick of thinkabout this night.]
Justin: I wish I could remember.
Brian: I wish I could forget.
[Wertshafter and Co. Ted entersthe office of Mr.Wertshafter, carrying a box of all hisstuff.]
Mr.Wertshafter: Schmidt, what are you still doin' here?
Ted: I came by to pick my Mr.Coffee and to speak withyou, sir, if I may. Mr.Wertshafter as a loyal and devotedemployee of nine years...
Mr.Wertshafter: Eight years, eleven month, six days.
Ted: You're always were precize, sir, right to thedigend. That's why is Wertshafter on the door, I guess. Ijust want you to know how unreasonable and unfair I thinkit is that you dissmissed me for such a minor infraction.I'm sure if it was one of the others, you would havelooked the other way. The only difference is because I'm,I'm...I'm...
Mr.Wertshafter: A h*m*.
Ted: Precizly.
Mr.Wertshafter: You gays. Every time something happens,you think it's about discrimination. Well, this isn'tabout discrimination, this is about company policy.Anyone found using the internet for reasons other thanbusiness purposes will be dismissed forthwith. You'relucky I didn't charge you for the time you spent online.
Ted: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
[He wants to leave.]
Mr.Wertshafter: Schmidt.
Ted: Yes, sir?
Mr.Wertshafter: One more thing. Are you happy being anaccountant?
Ted: Happy?
Mr.Wertshafter: Does balancy the books makes your heartbeat faster?
Ted: No, sir, not really.
Mr.Wertshafter: Then I'm doing you a favor. Findsomething you have a passion for. Otherwise, you're justjerking yourself off.
[Mel and Lindsay's Backyard.Gus's birthday party is in full swing, and Debbie bringsout the cake to a burst of applause. Lindsay, holding Gusin her lap.]
Lindsay: Take a wish, sweetheart.
Ted: [whispers] I want a new job. I want a new job. Iwant a new job.
Emmett: Not you!
Ted: He's too young. And I really need it.
Mel: One, Two, Three...
[All three blows the candles out. All cheers.]
Mel: I just like to say what a thrill it is for Lindsayand me to be celebrating our beautiful son's and howhappy we are. How very happy that you all are here toshare it with us. [she's looking in Justin's direction.]
Deb: Would you cut the schmaltz so I can cut the cake?
Mel: Okay, grab a fork before the icecream mells. C'mon.
[Mel and Lindsay are happily feeding each other cake andkissing when a little redheaded girl steps up and pokesMelanie on the shoulder.]
Mel: Yes, honey?
Girl: Are you and her married?
Mel: Um... [she's looking to Lindsay.] No, sweety, we'renot.
Girl: How come?
Lindsay: Ask you're mommy and daddy to explain that toyou in about... twenty years.
[Debbie brings a slice of cakeover to Mike, who's sitting on the swing.]
Deb: You want some?
Michael: You know, white flour and white sugar are aboutthe worst thing you can put in your body.
Deb: Uh-huh. [she's eating a piece.] Thirty years ago,you had you're first birthday party in the backyard withthe kids, and the cake, and the swing set. I still didn'tknow what a scratch it is. Some things never change.
Michael: You're wrong, ma. Things change a lot. If youdon't change within, you're left behind. Look at me - I'm... I'm right back on the same place I was before andeverybody else have moved on. I feel lost, mom.
Deb: Oh baby, you're not lost - you're just full of shit.
[She smacks Mike lightly on the cheek.]
Deb: You're only lost if you're alone. You are surroundedby people who love you. You're gonna find your way. Nowgo and enjoy the party.
[She kisses Michael on his cheek. You can still see herlipstick on it.]
[Back at the party, Brian'sLesbians are helping Gus open his presents. They pull outa big yellow whiffle bat.]
Lindsay: Oooh, you see... [to Brian] Your son's going tobe a baseball player!
Brian: Yeah, well, if you make a man out of him, I'mgoing to hold you personally responsible.
[Justin look at the yellow whiffle bat. His memory ofprom night is triggered when he sees the phallicgender-specific toy. He starts to shake.]
Brian: Justin?
[We see the prom night. Chris Hobbs just going behindJustin. Brian jumps out the jeep.]
Brian: [prom night] "Justin!"
[He starts to wince. He starts to cower. Brian throws hisarms around Justin in comfort, and Justin hangs on.]
[Later that evening, Melanie andLindsay tear down the decorations.]
Mel: This was one hell of a birthday party.
Lindsay: Thanks.
Mel: What you're planned for the second?
Lindsay: Leave town and stick you with it. Now give me ahand.
Mel: You know this would be a perfect place for ourwedding. The white sadden roses, twinkle lights, ahopper, but I was thinking over by the rosebushes.Linds...
Lindsay: I though we put this one to the rest for all.
Mel: Kendall Morgenburgh getting up in me.
Lindsay: Who?
Mel: The little girl who ask if we're married. I realizedthat someday our kid is going to ask us the very samequestion. And when he does I have to say, "no".Then he wanted to know "why not". And then Ihave to tell him the gutts. Straight people wouldn'tmatters. Only that's not the whole truth.
Lindsay: Which is?
Mel: We wouldn't give ourselves permission.
[Linds just drop the decoration to Mel's head.]
Lindsay: Sorry.
[Mel getting it and just throw away. She gets down on herknee.]
Mel: If it's not too late to be romantic. LindsayPeterson - will you marry me?
Lindsay: Are you proposing to me? Well, I'm just gonnahave to think it over... yes!
[She jumps into Melanie's arms. Melanie picks her uptwirls her around, as they both laugh with glee.]
[Brian's loft. Justin's sleeping,but wakes up when he hears Brian puttering around thekitchen. Brian takes an entire century to realizeJustin's awake, and then walks over to the bed.]
Brian: Better now?
Justin: Mmmh-mmmh.
Brian: You really freaked me out.
Justin: You?
Brian: It was like you got h*t all over again.
Justin: I remembered walking away. And suddenly hearingyour voice call my name, to warn me. You never told meabout that. You tried to save me.
Brian: I guess I forgot.
Justin: It's a good thing one of us remembered.
[They kiss each other. Justin reaches into Brian's shirtand pulls out the scarf.]
Justin: [whispers] I want you inside me.
Brian: Are you sure?
Justin: Yeah. Just... take it easy.
Brian: Like the first time?
[They begin to make love. The camera pans down to thescarf on the floor.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x02 - All Better Now"} | foreverdreaming |
[A well-appointed dining room.Five men sit around a table -- two on one side, three onthe other. Everyone's holding champagne glasses. Okay, soget this: the two on one side are a black guy and a whiteguy. On the other side are an Asian guy, an Arab guy, anda guy in a wheelchair.]
Man: To Judge Bobby. And Dr. Bruce. Congratulations. Tenyears of fidelity.
All: Happy anniversary.
Asia Man: Where's Jeremy? He said he was stuck insurgery.
Black Man: Oh, I'm sure he's operating -- on some boy!
Bobby: Or at Club Sodom!
Asia Man: That awful place?
Man: Where they dance! And have sex, and take drugs!
Man#2: And have sex. So, I've heard.
Black Man: It's ashame Jeremy has allowed himself tobecome a stereotype, instead of a role model for thecommunity.
Bobby: Hopefully one day he comes to sensive and realizethat his time can be more productive ways to spend histime.
[Cut to Woody's, where the g*ng's all watching this...ontelevision. Brian shakes his head in disbelief.]
Man#2: Last week we read Sylvia Plath. And this week,Jane Austen.
Bobby: That's the best anniversary gift, we've everreceived.
TV: "Gay as Blazes" will be right back.
[Brian grabs the remote and turnsoff the TV.]
Brian: Blaze this!
Em: Brian, that's my favourite new show. The actors aredreamy!
Linds: The Times says that's it the most accurateportrayal of gay life ever shown on television.
Brian: Well, then, where's the sucking? And where's f*ck?
Mel: Jesus, don't you get enough of that at home?
Michael: The whole point on GaB is that it's not allabout sex. There's more to gay life than that.
Brian: Like reading Sylvia Plath. I'd sooner k*ll myself.
Ted: These people have principles. When you haveprinciples, you don't need orgasms.
Brian: You have principles when you don't have orgasms.
Linds: I, for one, commend the producers for portrayingus as being mature and responsible...
Mel: ...instead of being promiscuous and narcissistic.
Brian: Welcome to Fantasy Island.
Em: Oh, I wish they would bring that back.
Ted: Even you have to admit it's important that thestraight world sees realistic portrayals of us.
Brian: You called this realistic? And who gives a f*ck about what straight people think?
Mel: Hey, you better watch your mouth, now that you'regetting the hero award from the Center.
Brian: I didn't do anything.
Em: You've saved Justin's life.
Brian: They can keep their golden dildo.
Linds: Hey, hey. I expect you to be in the Center atSunday night. All.
Brian: Sunday, darn(!) Suck-a-Rama at The Toolshed.
Linds: Oh, very mature, Brian(!)
Mel: There he goes our hero.
[Ted turns TV on.]
TV: "Now return to Gay as Blazes".
[Mike goes outside to Brian. Hetouched his back and he's taking his hand.]
Michael: Ou, ou, hurting, hurting.
Brian: Have she send out to make sure I didn't misbehave?
Michael: No, I thoughed we could mishave together.
Brian: I can't. I gotta get back.
Michael: Christ, don't tell me you're actually becoming agood example for gay men everywhere.
Brian: No, I leave that to Gay as Blazes. Justin stillgets freaky when he's on his own too long.
Michael: Right. What about tomorrow?
Brian: Oh, t*nk? Kinky.
Michael: There are two over-passes to comic hall.Priority accesses to all events the complete comicbookoverload. One for me, one for you.
Brian: Whoa, dude! The kids at school will, like, puke,they'll be, like, so jealous.
Michael: I'll take that as a no.
Brian: I'd run away screaming, but it's been a long day.
Michael: Well, right. Sure. Okay. See you around,sometime.
Brian: This soaking gives you jealous is no attractingyou.
Michael: It's just we doesn't hook up since I've gotback. I thoughed it would be a chance. That's all.
Brian: What time tomorrow?
Michael: 6. Downtown.
Brian: I'm each out then.
[Mel and Linds home. Brian'splaying with Gus while Lindsay eats a donut on thecouch.]
Linds: You're going and that's final.
Brian: The f*ck I am.
Mel: Where the hell are my god-damn car keys?
Linds: And don't think you can make me chance my mind getout of it by inducing a sugar high with a cheap bag ofdonuts. Even though...these sprinkles are really good.
Brian: [to Gus] Come to daddy. C'mon sonnyboy.
Mel: We went to a lot of trouble to get you that award.
Brian. Well, then get them to give it to someone whoneeds their approval.
Linds: There's not about approval. It's honouring you'rebravery, you're courage. Hey hon, you want some with thesprinkles?
Mel: No, I know I left him right here.
Brian: It's about the three hundred dollars a platethey're charging.
Mel: It's to raise money from you're day care programmwhich, please, God, Gus will benefit from.
Brian: [to Gus] Did you hear that? Daycare.
Linds: Hey, it's maybe a joke to you but this isimportant. Not just to the community but to Mel and me.
Mel: It's our first year on the committee.
Brian: I'm sorry to f*ck with you're social climbing.
Linds: You little shit!
Mel: Look, honey? That's enough sugar. C'mon Brian, youcan't even an evening to you're honour.
Linds: Stand up.
[She grabs him by the balls and twists.]
Linds: Listen to me, mister! You will show up at theceremony. You will check your pissy attitude at the door.And you will behave in a manner befitting a hero, or atleast like you appreciate all the love, and support andhard work your f*cking friends have gone to on f*ck behalf! Got it?
Brian: [groans] I got it.
[Melanie, looking under the couch to no avail, shakes herhead, looks over at the baby, and screams.]
Mel: Oh, my god.
Linds: What? You find the keyes?
[Gus walking! He waddles over to Melanie and Lindsay, whohug each other gleefully.]
Brian: Sonny boy. Come to Daddy!
[Liberty Diner. Justin's readingthe local gay newspaper.]
Justin: f*ck. Did you see this? "A Wolf in Hero'sClothing" by Harold Bellwether.
Ted: "Is there anyone less deserving of this year'sGay and Lesbian Center's Outstanding Hero Award forheroism than Brian Kinney?..."
Michael: "Mr. Kinney is a miserable example of amodern gay stereotype."
Deb: "Totally promiscuous, completely vain" -- well, he's not wrong on that count.
Ted: "He can be found nightly in the back rooms ofsex clubs."
Vic: "As for the young man he rescued from a as*ault, he is, in fact his eighteen year-old teenagelover."
Brian: [to Justin] Is that you?
Michael: "So if you let believe he is a hero, thetruth is..."
Justin: "He is a pedophile!"
Vic: "...deserving not our honor..."
Deb: "...but our contempt?" Who the f*ck isthis Howard Bedwetter?
Vic: Howard Bellwether happens to the gay socialconscience of Pittsburgh. I always listen to his radioshow, I've read every word he always written. Mmmh.Congratulations.
Vic: The Center's giving him the outstanding Gay Award.
Deb: Well, they're should him giving the outstandingAsshole Award.
Brian: I'm sue him, the f*ck.
Michael: Take it easy, Brian.
Brian: He said I'm thirty-one. I'm thirty.
Justin: Is that all you care about? He practically calledyou a child molester.
Brian: Who should better know than you?
Michael: Don't forget. Comic Hall tonight, 6 pm.
[Emmett skips down the street, afeather duster stuck in his backpack. He's pretty cute.He walks up to a nice brick home, with matching tan BMWsin the driveway. The license plates say "B+B 1"and "B+B 2," respectively. Emmett rings thedoorbell. Inside, a short blond man with glasses -- wholooks a lot like Judge Bobby on Gay as Blazes -- opensthe door.]
Blaine: Yes?
Em: Hi. I... I'm Emmett. The agancy send me.
Blaine: The new maid. I'm Blaine, please come in.
[He leads Emmett into the living room to meet his lifepartner, Blair. Blair's black. Like Dr. Bruce on theshow.]
Blaine: Sweetheart. Oh, this is my life partner, Blair.
Em: Oh my god. You're guys just like Bobby and Bruce.
Blair: Who?
Em: You know, "Gay as Blazes". ... The TV-Show?
Blair: Oh, we don't watch television.
Blaine: I'm usual read poem or medical journes.
Blair: And I'm preparing legal briefes.
Em: Wait, wait. So, you're a judge and you a surgeon?
Blaine: [points to Blair] Lawyer.
Blair: [points to Blaine] Dentist.
Em: Next thing you'll tell me is that you've beentogether for ten years.
Blaine: Eleven.
Em: And that you never f*ck around. Oh, I'm sorry.
Blaine: We believe monogamy is the foundation of a solidrelationship. Don't we, sweetheart?
Blair: Absolutly.
Em: Oh, that's... that's so inspiring. Um, it's gonna bea real privilege to work for two so destinglish gentlemanlike yourselves.
[He then pulls down his pants.]
Em: So, where you want me to start?
both: Wait.
Em: What? I'm... I'm a naked maid. And they tell you...the agency...?
Blaine: Yes, but that won't be necessary.
Blair: You see, even though some members of our communityfind it titillating to sexualize even domestic work, weprefer that you keep your pants on.
Blaine: We're paying the same fee, of course.
Blair: It's just our small way of adding a little dignityto our community.
Blaine: Our last maid got a Ph.D.
Em: Really? Well, if it's not one communicable disease,it's another. So, which way is the designer kitchen?
[Comic-book convention. Mikeeagerly waits at the entrance, wearing a Captain Astrot-shirt. Meanwhile, on Liberty Avenue, Brian pulls upnext to a police van. The cop turns and gives Brian TheLook. Back to Mike, who's about to give up. Cut to theback of the van, where Brian has the cop naked andhandcuffed. Brian is wearing the cop's hat and glasses,and waving his nightstick provocatively. Brian's cellrings. He ignores it. At the convention, Mike hangs uphis cell phone, and realizes that Brian has stood himup.]
[Mel and Linds are having sex onthe couch, with the help of a large black vibrator.Melanie's on top.]
Linds: [groans] Will we have this good sex after we'remarried?
Mel: [groans] No, that's why we have to this way now.
[The doorbell rings. Melanie and Lindsay scramble to gettheir clothes on.]
Mel: Oh, shit. Who is that?
Linds: The vibrator.
[Melanie tosses the vibrator to Lindsay before she opensthe door. Lindsay tosses the vibrator under the couchcushions. ]
[Mel and Linds house.]
Mel: Tannis and Phillip - what a surprise.
Tannis: The award ceremony is on crisis. We have to talk.
Mel: Guess who's here.
Linds: Oh, Tannis, Phillip - what a surprise. Have aseat.
[They're sitting on the couch. The vibrator still on.]
Mel: So, you say we have a problem?
Tannis: Have you read Bellweathers article?
Phillip: If you cooperate sponsors hear that we're givingBrian Kinney an award - they will cut us off. We looseour support, our founding... [he pauses] Do you hear abuzzing?
Linds: Oh, I... the baby monitors.
Tannis: It sounds like it's coming from...
[She reaches under the cushions and pulls out thevibrator. she skeeves out and tosses it to Phillip, whoshrieks and tosses it to Melanie.]
Mel: Oh, there it is. Did you know that vibrations in asoil produces with in terms stimulate to paddles to open.
Linds: This is a complete unfair and dishonest att*ck!Justin Taylor's a college student. Their relationship islegal, consensual, and very loving.
Mel: Besides this award is for Brian's encourage, not forhis sexual content.
Phillip: Tell that to our benefactors. The center Scandalcould send them packing, along with their money.
Tannis: That is why you two got to get Kinney to declineit.
Linds: Do you have any idea what we two had go through toget him to accept it?
Phillip: Well, then it wouldn't be a problem, should it?
[The next morning Mike's on hiscell, talking to Ted and Emmett. Ted's in bed jerking offto a p*rn, and Emmett's ironing clothes out on the B andBs' porch.]
Mike: ...he stood me up!
Ted: No!
Mike: He promise me be there but over pass everything.
Ted: Well, I hate to say this, Michael, but maybe you andhe drifting apart.
Em: Honey, it happens to the closes to friends.
Ted: So, how about coming... with me to the Bellweatherbook signing?
Mike: After what he wrote about Brian?
Ted: Brian's hardly a hero.
Em: God, Teddy, when you become so prude?
Mike: Since he lost his job whacking off?
Ted: I'm not a prude and I wasn't wack... I think he justmight happen a point.
Mike: Well, I don't think any of us are in the positionto judge, considering some of the things we've done.
Ted: I have nothing to be ashamed off.
Mike: I can remind you of a few.
Ted: Got to go.
[Ted hangs up.]
Em: Yeah, me too. I'm ironing my bosses pants.
Mike: Aren't you the one who's supposed to be bare-assed?
Em: Have you know they prefer me to keep my clothes on.
Mike: Are you sure they're gay?
Em: Not only they are gay but they're the most decentpeople I've ever met. So, the next time you see Brian, ifyou ever do, you can tell him he's wrong. Those people inGay as Blazes do exists.
[Michael hangs up.]
[Emmett's still ironing clothesout on the B and Bs' porch. Blair walks up to him,wearing a towel.]
Blair: Hey.
Em: Oh, hi. Oh, Blaine called. He's doing some extra probono work at the Gay Homeless Shelter and you're do atthe gay Harvard graduate luncheon. I'll have this done ina few.
Blair: You're doing a wonderful job, Emmett.
Em: Thank you. This is, well... seeing you two has reallyinspired me to strive, to achieve, to better myself.
Blair: That's a great compliment.
Em: Well, if there is anything else I can do, let meknow.
[Emmett hands Blair his pants. Blair"accidentally" drops the pants on the ground.As Emmett reaches down for them, Blair drops his towel,too.]
Em: Whoops, you drop you're towl!
Blair: Darn, I know. Do you think you can get this forme?
[He gets down on his knees to get the towel.]
Blair: I'm really grateful.
Em: I... I see that.
[Liberty Diner. Justin tries toplace a glass of water on Mike's table, but ends upspilling most of it.]
Justin: Oh, sorry.
Mike: It's okay. Don't worry about it.
Deb: Keep it up, sunshine, the good work it is. Isn't hesudden mother's little helper.
Mike: "Mother's Little Helper" is Valium.That's from a Rolling Stones song.
Deb: I know the song, thank you, I was listening to itbefore you were f*cking born!
Justin: Ancient history.
[Justin leaves and Deb sits to his son.]
Deb: Ok, what did he do this time?
Mike: Who?
Deb: Who?! Is there anyone else?
Mike: He supposed to meet me in the comic conventionand...
Deb: I'm bite my tongue so hard, I'm tasting blood.
Mike: So, just say it. You will anyway.
Deb: Why must the happiness always depend on someoneelse? First Brian, then David, now you back to Brian.
Mike: You finished?
Deb: I just even started. If you came back here becauseyou thought Brian was missing you as much as you weremissing him, you f*cked up, big-time.
Mike: That's not why I came back.
Deb: He has a life of his own. Which is more than I cansay about you. And even though you're not going to likeme saying that...
Mike: I'm sure of that.
Deb: I think he might actually love this kid. As much ashe can.
Mike: That doesn't matter. We're still friends - at leastI though we were. That wasn't suppose to change.
[Emmett walks down Liberty Avenuewith Ted and Mike.]
Em: One minute I starting his color and then I'm suckinghis cock. See, I have destory eleven years of fidelity...that's what I have done. I'm scum. No, I'm worse thanscum. What's worse than scum?
Mike: We've all been around enough to know that nobodydoes anything they don't wanna do this. This Blair soundslike no angel.
Em: He was. Well, now he's falling. I'm the snake in thegarden of Eden, that's what I am.
Mike: Stop blaming you yourself.
Ted: No, start blaming yourself. It wouldn't havehappened if you could keep your mind off of sex longenough to think of something else.
Em: Like what?
Ted: Like,... going to museum or reading a book.
Em: Book...?
Ted: Yeah, it's got pages, little words on them, a cover.Literally improves the money, oh, hey they have a sellright here. Anybody care to join me?
Mike: No, you keep your hero; I'll stick to CaptainAstro.
Em: Oh my god, I gotta go big diner for Blair and Blaine.How I'm gonna face? How I'm gonna say?
Mike: Don't say anything. Forgod sake don't let it happenagain.
[Elsewhere on Liberty Avenue,Justin clutches Brian's hand as they walk down thestreet.]
Brian: Ou!
Justin: Sorry.
Brian: It's okay. You wanna go back?
Justin: No!
Brian: Sure?
Justin: Yeah. With no hands.
[Someone bumps in him.]
Justin: Hey! f*ck!
Brian: It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Calm down.
[They're going to the bookstore. They're see Bellweather's book-cover in the front. Inside the store,Mr. Bellweather is cheerfully signing his book. It's Ted's turn.]
Ted: Mr. Bellweather, I am so, so validated by what youwrite. You are a font of inspiration and wisdom.
Mr.Bellweather: A font? How kind. And you are?
Ted: I'm Ted. Ted...Ted Schmidt. Is S-C-H-M...
[Justin shoves past Ted and throws another book down infront of Bellweather.]
Justin: Sign this! "To Brian Kinney, Please acceptmy apologies for what I wrote about you. I'm a sack oflying shit. Love and luck, Howie."
Mr.Bellweather: I take it, you are...
Justin: ...his teenage lover.
[Ted looks around for Brian, who cheerfully waves at himfrom the back of the store.]
Mr.Bellweather: It's a pleasure to meet such a boy braveyoung man. If anyone should get an award for heroism,it's you.
Justin: You had no rights to say those things.
Mr.Bellweather: On the contrary it was my obligation.
Justin: He saved my life.
Mr.Bellweather: He's also stolen part of it... yourinnocence. Your youth. One day you'll see he's hurt youas much as your attacker.
[Justin has no answer for that, so he knocks all thebooks off the table instead, and stomps away.]
Brian: And by the way? I'm thirty.
[The B and B. Emmett's choppingvegetables in the kitchen when Blaine saunters in.]
Blaine: Emmett, you didn't tell me.
Em: Tell you what?
Blaine: That you would cook. It smells phantastic.
Em: Oh, just a little sauce piquant for the fish.
Blaine: Blair will be sorry that he miss this.
Em: He... he's... he's not here?
Blaine: It's his night to meet to the visually-impairedgay seniors group.
Em: Well, I just... I just... set table for one, then.
Blaine: Why don't you eat with me? I hate dining alone.
Em: Alright.
Blaine: Mind if I had to taste?
Em: Here, let me.
[Emmett gets a big spoonful of sauce and feeds it toBlaine. And then spills some on the front of Blaine'spants.]
Em: God, someone on you're pants. But we get out thisbefore it stands.
Blaine: I'll take my pants off.
Em: No, no, no. Don't do that. Let it do in this way.
[he'll just take a towel and wipe the stain off the frontof Blaine's pants.]
Em: On the second though you should...
Blaine: No, no, no, go ahead. You're doing just fine. Butyou'd better rub harder.
Em: You've been in museums or read good books, lately?
[Blaine unzip his pants.]
Em: Oh, oh, look what I've done. Forgive me, Father.
[Mel and Linds. Dining Room.Brian sits at the candlelit table while Mel and L. hoveraround him.]
Mel: Should o foot, '90. It's a very good year.
Linds: Black Angels. So blood it moods.
Mel: Wait what we have for dessert. d*ad white chocolate.
Linds: Have you a other way to go?
Mel: Of course he could better.
Brian: Oh, yeah. Maybe there is more to life than sex.Fine dining. Fine wine. Fine cigars. What do you want?
Mel: You're so cynical, you can't appreciate a littleTLC?
Linds: Yeah...
Brian: From the lesbian Lucy and Ethel? So...
Linds: You know the award from the center.
Mel: The award you never wanted it anyway.
Brian: What about it?
Linds: Guess what, you don't have to accept it.
Brian: I don't?
Mel: We're explain to them that you feel comfortable withpublic attention, so they said all you have to do is say,"Thanks anyway, but no thanks" and the wholething are get away.
Linds: Isn't that great? You don't have a speech, youdon't wear a tax, nothing.
Brian: That's great. What's the real reason? Could it bethe Howard Bellweathers bullshit that he afraid me tospot their image? Or even worse loose their preciousco-operate sponsors? And now they want me to get away asperson. Guess what, I'm not doing any favours.
Linds: C'mon, Brian, you don't even want.
Mel: We practically had to force feed it to you.
Brian: Well, that was before I realized what an honor itwould be to be recognized by such a fine, upstandingorganization. I've already started working on myacceptance speech, in fact. Wanna hear it?
Mel: God!
[Melanie grabs the plates and stomps off into the kitchenin disgust.]
Brian: Greetings, and welcome all yousexually-challenged, transmogrified, bipolar, whateverthe f*ck you ares...
[Woody's. Debbie walks in,wearing a leopard-print muumuu and carrying a yellowhandbag. Vic is normal dressed. They spot Mike and Ted ata table and amble over.]
Deb: Hey, boys. Hi, honey. Hi, Teddy.
Vic: Excuse me, but I believe these seats are reservedfor the living.
Mike: Ma, have you to seat here?
Deb: Well, I don't see a sign here that says, 'Reservedfor Brian.'
Mike: I told you.
Deb: I know! I know you are unconfortable hanging out ingay bars with you're mother. But look at this way - ifyou meet somebody nice, you don't have him to bring hometo meet me, 'cause I'm already here!
Mike: I'm not meeting anybody.
Deb: With an attitude with that, you sure as hell youwon't. You two stay in the month to have some fun, c'mon.Go dancing, go get laid.
Ted: What kind of mindless pallative is that for existentialangst?
Deb: Say a word?
Vic: A damn good one. Before you guys turn around, you'regoing to be our age.
Deb: God, don't remind me.
Vic: And you regret every night didn't go out and grab alittle life.
Deb: Not to mention a little ass!
Ted: Well, I did see an invitation on hotpits.com to aB.B. Party.
Mike: I though you swore out the internet.
Ted: It was before I delete.
Deb: A B.B. Party?
Ted: Stand for Bodybuilders.
Deb: Mmmh, I just love hard pecs and rippled abs.
Mike: God mom, you're a such a f*g.
Vic: Yeah, it puts the rest of us to shame. Well, whatare you waiting for?
[The B.B. Party. Ted and Mikewalk into an apartment. The apartment is bathed in a red,low light.]
Ted: Oh, no. I get a drink first. Well, some party, huh?
[He and Mike walk into the living room, where's there's afull-on orgy taking place. Couples. Groups.]
Mike: This isn't a party. This is an orgy.
Ted: Boy, if Brian only knew what he was missing!
Mike: f*ck Brian!
Ted: Oh, my God, do you know who that is?
Mike: Don't point!
Ted: That's Howard Bellweather.
Mike: He hasn't a very good body.
Ted: Of course not! He's a writer.
Mike: Guess what, that doesn't look like bodybuilder tome. It's not always wrong with that picture. Something'missing.
Ted: What? Dirts?
Mike: Condoms. They don't using condoms.
Ted: Including Howard Bellweather!
Mike: Sssh. Holy shit, I don't think B.B. stand forbodybuilder. I think it stands for...
Ted: Barebacking.
[They're leaving.]
Tannis: "We are not givingBrian Kinney an award!"
[She stands with Mel and Linds in the middle of thereception room, where various minions are setting up forthe awards dinner. Phillip trots up to take the head micfrom her.]
Tannis: "I should turn this f*cking thingoff...!"
Phillip: Our mistake was sending committee neophytes todo co-chair work in the first place.
Tannis: Fams.
Philipp: When Kinney assists on accepting this award wehave no other choice but to refuse to give it to him.
Linds: I wouldn't do that when I were you.
Tannis: Excuse me?
Mel: Honey...
Linds: If you would take it away now you're be in reachof promise and he'll take action.
Phillip: What kind of action?
Linds: Legal action.
Tannis: Are you suggestion he sue?
Linds: "Non-profit" will take on a wholedifferent meaning when he's through with you.
Phillip: [to Mel] Is this true?
Mel: If he wanted to, he can track us to court.
Phillip: But we're financiel ruined, not to mention thehumiliation when we run off the board.
Mel: As you're counsel my professional advice is justgive him the f*ck' award.
Phillip: Well, you can tell Mr. Kinney that he can addblackmail to his long list of accomplishments.
[he and Tannis are leaving them alone.]
Mel: Reach a promise. Where are that coming from?
Linds: Well, you f*ck a lawyer, you pick up a few things.
[Babylon! One of the go-godancers is dressed as Babylon Man, complete with eye maskand a big "B" painted in the middle of hischest. Mike, Ted, and Emmett at the bar.]
Ted: That smug, sanctimonious hypocrite. Who the f*ck he think he is, judging everyone else's behavior?
Mike: Especially Brian's.
Ted: I think I just spend twenty-five bucks on his newbook.
Mike: Maybe he'll use the money to buy rubbers.
Ted: Is there any such thing as decency left?!
Em: There was. Once upon a time. 'Til I came along.
Mike: Don't tell me.
Ted: You did the other one?
Em: Who can help myself?
Mike: What about them? You said they were a happy committedapploment.
Em: It's not their fault. Obviously, against my powers ofseduction, they didn't stand a chance! I'm gonna go.
[Brian insinuates himself in the middle of the group.Mike isn't particularly happy to see him.]
Brian: Oh, hey, just the man I'm looking for. You wannadance?
Mike: No, I don't feel like it.
Brian: What's wrong?
Mike: I said I don't want to!
Brian: What's the matter with you?
Mike: You wouldn't understand and if you did you wouldn'tcare.
Brian: Fine.
[he's leaving.]
Mike: The convention, assh*le! You were supposed to meetme!
Brian: Is that all?
Mike: Yeah, that's all.
Brian: I'm sorry, I got tied up. Actually, he did. See, Ipick up some cop...
Mike: I donna hear it. It doesn't matter.
Brian: C'mon, Mikey, it's a f*ck' comic book conventionfor Christ sake.
Mike: Right, that's all it was. A bunch of geekssearching around for pieces of their lost piece of theirchildhood. It's pathetic when you think about it. Onlythe reason for going wasn't to find a Green Latern from1982, it was for us to be together. The way we werebefore I ran off with David, before Justin got hurt. TheDynamic Duo, reunited once again. But I guess thingsdon't work that way. Things go forward instead ofbackwards, and nothing stays the same, so don't troubleyourself. There's no reason for you to be there with me,and there's no reason for me to expect you to be.
[Mike leaves Brian in the middle of the dance floor.]
[The B and B. Emmett sits down onthe couch between Blaine and Blair.]
Em: I'm, uh...I'm very sorry to have to tell you this. Ihope you won't be angry but um... I have to interview mynotes.
Blair: Oh, Emmett, no!
Blaine: Aren't you happy here?
Blair: Have we something to displease you?
Em: No! No, no, no, it's...it's not you. It's me. I'munworthy to work for two such fine men.
Blair: You mustn't say that!
Blaine: No-one has ever given a service quite like you.In fact Blair told me himself how happy he's were withyou're performance. Haven't you Blair?
Blair: Oh, yes. And Blaine has done the same, haven'tyou, sweetheart?
Blaine: We've never had a more congenial menial.
Em: W...wa...wa...wait a minute. Um, you both know...
Blair: Of course.
Em: But I... I thought... didn't you say you werecompletely monogamous?
Blair: We are. But we can always use a little help aroundthe house.
Blaine: Now, won't you stay?
Em: You know, I may be a slut. But at least I'm an honestslut. So find someone else to put the starch in yourpants.
[Justin's back on Liberty Avenue.He makes his way towards Brian, who's at the opposite endof the block. Justin's antsy, but looking strong. Brianwatches him hopefully, apprehensively, just willing himto make it down the street.]
Brian: Come on, sonny boy.
[Justin does make it, and gives Brian a big hug.]
Justin: I wasn't sure I could do it.
Brian: I was.
[Brian kisses Justin.]
Justin: What's that for?
Brian: You know how much I like sex in public places.
Justin: Then suck me off, right here, right now. Broaddaylight.
Brian: Well, you are recovering.
Justin: Bad as new.
Brian: But one step at a time. First we're walk back tomy place then I suck'n you off.
Justin: I can do it by myself.
Brian: You can give yourself head?
Justin: No, I can walk back without a shaper.
Brian: You sure this one?
Justin: Mmmh-mmmh. I'm sick of you always following mearound. Don't you have friends your own age?
Brian: Yeah, but none of them adore me as much as you do.
Justin: I can pick up one of those. Anyway you have a bigimportant fund raiser to attend.
Brian: To boring an insignificant time waste?
Justin: You're a hero. No matter what anyone says.
[Justin kisses Brian.]
Brian: Thank you for the standing ovation.
Justin: Alright. You go. Later.
Brian: Later.
[GLC Awards. Tannis and Phillipare on the dais being boring.]
Deb: It's so stuff here, you need an oxygen mask.
[Deb, Em, Ted, Linds, Mel and Vic are sitting at atable.]
Vic: Just keep breathing.
Mel: Where the hell is Brian?
Em: Fashionally late?
Mel: He's got his fashionally ass here.
Tannis: Our next recipient is a man who's voice being abig approve in an often stormy sea of moral insurtanty.
Phillip: A man who has challenged us to account for ourbehavior. Who has demanded that we ask nothing less ofourselves than decency and dignity.
Tannis: This years outstanding gay award goes to MisterHoward Bellweather!
[Howard Bellwether walks up to the platform amid applauseand cheers.At their table, Debbie mouths the word"assh*le" at Vic.]
Mr.Bellweather: How can we complain of being stereotyped,of being marginalized, when there are members of ourcommunity that, through their irresponsible behavior,perpetuate such treatment. We are own worst enemy. And sowe must...
[Cut later. The camera fades out and in as Bellwetherdrones on in a like manner. Deb is asleep.]
Mr.Bellweather: Raise up our moral standards... It is upto us to change the misconception that gay life is allabout sex. This is the gauntlet I throw down to you toprove that we are concerned, committed citizens weintruth are. Thank you.
[Deb's awake. Melanie and Lindsay reluctantly rise andjoin in the applause. So does Ted, to Emmett's shock.]
Ted: I still believe in what he says. Even if I don'tbelieve in him.
Phillip: Wow, our next recipient's name becomes synomiswith courage when he inveint in gay-bashing incident andsaving a young victims life.
Tannis: He's a inspiration to us all. This yearsoutstanding Gay Hero Award goes to Brian Kinney.
[Mel and L.'s table cheer, cheer, cheer. But where'sBrian?]
Mel: I can't believe he didn't show.
Vic: If only to tell them where to stick it...
Deb: ...and how high.
Linds: I think he got his message across. Loud and clear.
[At the ComiCon, Mike gushes overan Iron Man comic.]
Mike: Wow, this is so amazing. Five hundred dollars?!What you are even smoking?
Brian: But it has style.
Mike: Aren't you supposed to being somewhere, winningsome award or a hero of the year?
Brian: If you want a hero, buy a comic book.
Mike: Why aren't you accepting the award? Not that I givea shit.
Brian: We had a date.
PA: "Attention everyone. Comic convention closing infiveteen minutes."
Mike: You barely made it. Look, I meant what I said - youdidn't have to come. We've moved on, and that's okay. Nodemands, no expectations, no regrets.
Brian: As long as I was here we're might to have a goodtime. Hey. Let's get a picture.
Mike: This is for kids.
Brian: C'mon, Mikey!
Mike: No, it's stupid!
Brian: It wasn't stupid when we were locked up in yourroom, reading Captain Astro and Galaxy Lad and wishing wewere invincible like them. And pretending that no earthlyforce could separate us, like them. And swearing thatwe'd always be there for each other, like them.
Mike: You remember that?
[Mike bursts into a blinding smile. Brian drags him overto the cutout, and sticks his head where Captain Astro'sis supposed to be. Mike is Galaxy Lad.]
[Gay as Blazes. Bruce and Bobbyare sitting with a young man on their couch.]
Bobby: You don't have to be out on streets anymore,Travis.
Bruce: From now on you're gonna living here with us.
Travis: You're so kind. I didn't know gay people like youexisted.
Bobby: We're not all sexual predators!
Bruce: In fact, the only thing we like bound in leatheris a good nineteenth-century novel.
Bobby: Have you read Jane Austen?
Travis: No...
[Cut to Emmett, sneering on his couch. He points theremote at the television.]
Em: Blaze this!
[End Credit: Music By The Stranglers "No More Heroes"] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x03 - Hypocrisy: Don't Do It"} | foreverdreaming |
[Drag King night at Woody's.Three women dressed like Elvis croon his classic tune"Follow that Dream." Mel and Linds are wearingmen's shirts and hats, and Melanie's in Lindsay's lap.]
Follow that dream, I gotta follow that dream
Keep a-movin, move along, keep a moving
I've got to follow that dream wherever that dream maylead
I've got to follow that dream to find the love I need
When your heart gets restless, time to move along...#
Brian: Since when did Woody's become a c**t-ry club?
Mel: Since you're here?
Justin: Have another round?
Brian: No. That's the last for you. You've got schooltomorrow.
Linds: You're first day! I'm so proud of you!
Brian: One minute he's in a coma, and the next, he'sgoing to college.
Linds: Well, with the word of the King, 'You gotta followthat dream!'
Em: Mmmh, now there is a dream.
[A beauty goes by.]
Linds: I have the same dream since I was little - to fallin love, get married, and have a baby.
Michael: About two out of three isn't bad.
Linds: Three out of three is even better.
Justin: You've get married?
Michael: When did you decide?
Em: Why didn't you tell us?
Mel: Yes. A few weeks ago we just did.
Brian: Here is a toast to the happy couple. May you cometo your senses before it's too late.
Em: Oh, it's so exciting that everyone's dreams arecoming true! Hey, what's you're dream, sweety?
Michael: My dream is to one day know what my dream is.
Brian: Dreaming is for people who are asleep. I'd ratherbe awake. And f*cking.
Michael: I'm gonna call Ted and tell him to get his assdown here.
Brian: And I was having such a good time.
Mel: Could you just f*ck way off them. Teddy is reallydepressed.
Linds: He's been trying to get a job ever since thatincident.
Brian: I wouldn't exactly call sh**ting a load off infront of my boss an 'incident.'
Michael: He's not picking up.
Em: Did you suppose he's doin' something... drastic? Imean he could lyin' in bed right now... d*ad.
Brian: How could you tell?
[Ted's Condor. Emmett knocks onthe door, but gets no answer. He lets himself in, andfinds every available space of the condo filled withwadded-up tissues. Nobody seems here. He opens thebedroom door. Ted's on the bed, watching a p*rn, jerkingoff, surrounded by more wadded-up tissues.]
Em: Ted. What are you doin'?
Ted: What the hell looks like?
Em: God, look like a bathhouse here. When was the lasttime you left this place?
Ted: Four days. I'm in the middle of a marathon.
Em: Just like AMC: 'American Masturbation Classics.'Honey, I think you have a problem.
Ted: You're right. Usually, Ricky Rod's hairlesschew-hole drives me crazy, but for some reason, it's lostits magic.
Em: I know that you've been a little depressed, latelybut you have to pull yourself together.
Ted: What do you think I'm trying' to do? You're notmaking it any easier. Now, if you really want to help,grab a nipple and squeeze.
Em: Do I look like a human tit clamp?
Ted: Look at that!
Em: Uh, it's hot.
[Ted, eyes wide and glassy. Intrigued, he sits down onthe side of the bed. Ted pokes him with a bottle oflotion. Emmett almost takes it without thinking, and thenjumps away.]
Em: No! You are not sucking me into your black hole ofdepravity! Now you get up! You get up right now!
Ted: You're right. I've been in this bed long enough.
[Ted's Condor. In the livingroom.]
Ted: Let's see who's on DemonDick.com, shall we?
Em: This is not what I'm meant! Listen to me, Teddy!Look, I know it's tough getting fired. It's a tremendousblow.
Ted: Blow?
Em: Crash that. But there is a great big fabulous worldout there.
Ted: Let me tell you something about that fabulous worldout there. You either jerk off or you get jerked off. [Helooks at the computer screen.] Yeah, go for it!
[Brian's loft. Brian's in bed,getting a blowjob from Justin. Brian rolls over toreciprocate.]
Justin: No. No! This was just for you.
Brian: Since when do you turn down getting your dicksucked?
Justin: Since tomorrow is my big day and I save my energyfor my art.
Brian: What do you call this?
Justin: I'll promised you can blow me tomorrow night.
Brian: Yeah, but who say's I'm in the mood?
Justin: You're always in the mood? It's kind of amazing when you think about it at you're age.
[Brian goes to the bathroom, and Justin tries to work ona drawing in his sketchpad. His right hand starts g*n. Justin pulls it back and stretches itout, making sure that Brian didn't see. Justin triesagain, and the same thing happens. And terror is writtenall over his face. Brian walks back to bed.]
Brian: You're drawing my cock again?
Justin: I just doodling.
[Brian goes down on his dick.]
Justin: What are you doin'?
Brian: I just doodling.
Justin: I told you I have school.
[Breakfast at the Liberty Diner.Brian and Mike sit in a booth together.]
Mike: Think I'm look good with a new haircut? Look Iwould?
Brian: What have you in mind?
Mike: I don't know. Maybe buzzing it or bleaching it.
Brian: That it would be cool...for two years ago. So,what's wrong?
Mike: No-one's wrong. Why you think somethin' is wrong?
Brian: Because everytime you wanna change you're hair.
Mike: That is so not true!
[Deb comes up with the coffee.]
Brian: [to Deb] Mike's thinking about changing his hair.
Deb: Oh God. Baby, what's wrong? Tell me.
Mike: Allright, allright! It just feels like everybody'slife is speeding along. Lindsay and Melanie are gettingmarried. Justin's going to art school, and he waspractically d*ad a couple of months ago, for f*ck's sake!And I'm still stuck at the starting gate!
Deb: Since when is there a race?
Mike: Since I feel I'm coming in last!
Deb: Well, then do somethin' about it! After all, you'recute. You're young. You're hung.
Mike: Like what?
Brian: Quit the f*cking Q!
Mike: Don't you think I'd like to? But I have obligationsto others.
Deb: What is one of the others beside yourself? I wouldsay you're first obligation is to yourself. So, whatwould make you happy?
[Long silence follows.]
Brian: Should we hum the theme to Jeopardy?
Mike: f*ck you! What would make me happy is to get towork on time and not get shit from my boss!
[A tired Emmett goes to the table.]
Em: Thanks God you're here.
Mike: Where have you been? You didn't come home lastnight?
Deb: Somebody get lucky.
Em: Good for him. I spent the night at Ted's. This guy isin deep shit trouble. We need to have an invention.
Deb: Who's?
Brian: Crystal.
Em: Whipping the Willie.
Brian: Schmuck. He couldn't even get a decent addiction.
[Ted's. Ted's watching a p*rn the couch. He looks up as the camera pans over tothe other side of the living room, where Brian, Emmett,and Mike hover with concern.]
Ted: Something I get you're guys anything? Coffee? Juice?Poppers?
[Brian will start to the poppers.]
Em: Don't get too close. He might ask you to squeezesomething.
Ted: So, what's up?
Em: You, Teddy. You have a problem. That's I've broughtMichael and Brian. We're friends and cared about you andfree to help.
Ted: Not to worry about. I've got the situation in hand.
Mike: Yeah, we can see that.
Ted: Look, I've been under a lot of stress lately. AndI've been release something intension, that's all.
Mike: Just remember, you have so much to give -- so manygifts. So many great big fabulous ...
Em: Alright, already. I'll talk about that.
Brian. f*ck this! Get off your ass and go take a shower.You reek. And go find a job.
Em: What I think Brian tryin' want to say in his owncarry way is you're having a self-esteem crisis. We knowthat you can become a valuable member of society again.So allow us to love you until you can love yourself.
Mike: I think he's loved himself plenty.
[Brian opens up his cell phone and calls his office.]
Brian: Hey, it's Kinney. Put Olli on. Olli? It's Brian.Have you still a replacement for Mendosa? Well, I justfound them. His name is Schmidt.
[Brian tries to shake the tissue loose while setting upan interview for Ted with his agency's accountingdepartment. Brian can't get rid of the tissue. He triesscraping it off on the carpet.]
Brian: Ted Schmidt. Yeah, he is a total dore. [He hangsup.] Hey wonderwacker! I just raved about you a hell ofaccountant. You have a meeting at four o'clock. So don'f*ck it up!
Ted: Don't worry, I'm too sore to f*ck anything!
[Justin's first art class. Seveneasels surround a nude male model. The professor is ablack woman.]
Professor: It's good. Sexual.
Student: Thank you.
Professor: Allright class. Let's focus on musculature ofthe back and the buttocks.
Justin: [whisper] f*ck...
Professor: Something's wrong, Mr.Taylor?
Justin: No. Nothing.
[She wanders past Justin just as his hand goes out ofcontrol.]
[Q-Mart. Mike runs in, adjustinghis tie.]
Tracy: Hey. Where have you been?
Michael: A friend was in trouble.
Tracy: Andrew's still looking for you.
Andrew: Nice to you to join us, Novotny.
Michael: Sorry Andrew, couldn't be held.
Andrew: Maybe waltzing in anytime you please was okaywhen you were running things, but I'm in charge now.
Michael: Look, I said I'm sorry, okay?
Andrew: Hey, take it easy. I'm not tryin' to bust you'reballs. It's just that I would you're experience is a lot.I'm depend on you for.
Michael: Thanks.
Andrew: Some childs is threw up in front of the dairycase. Who could clean it up better than you?
Michael: Sure. I'm in the way.
[He's walking away.]
Tracy: Oh, what a jerk! Why do you put up with it?
Michael: I'm better get it on.
[PIFA. Justin is still in thesame room, trying to finish his sketch. The Dean of theschool walks in.]
Dean: Mister Taylor?
Justin: Dean Larson.
Dean: The press you standing says that you have troubletoday in light class.
Justin: I wasn't anything in trouble.
Dean: They said you've lost control of you're hand.
Justin: A just for a second. It wasn't a big deal.
Dean: Mr.Taylor, you're having a problem.
Justin: It's not a problem. I told you. It's just... itget a little tired. My occupational therapist think thestrength will be back.
Dean: May I?
[He wants to see some scetch.]
Justin: It's not... it's not finished.
Dean: You're a really talented young men, Justin. Youhaven't it been here when I think you're weren't. But asyou know it's a very strenuous program. I think you needa seriously consider if you're able to get therequirements.
[Mike walks into Buzzy'scomic-book store, looking like he just made it home.]
Buzzy: Hey Michael. How's goin', bud?
Michael: Better know that I'm here. Hey, did you havalready that Justice League?
Buzzy: Yeah, but that it might not get there in time.
Michael: In time from what?
Buzzy: I'm goin' to Florida.
Michael: Yeah? When you've coming back?
Buzzy: I'm not. I have friends down in Sean Peat. Theytell me for years to get the hell out of the snows. So,I'm decide it. I'm packing the van and I'm up.
Michael: What about the store?
Buzzy: I'm closin' it. Twenty two years is long enough.I'm going to kick back, smoke some weed. Do some fishing.Maybe I'll start up a band. That's always been a dream ofmine.
Michael: Good luck, Buzzy.
Buzzy: Thanks Michael.
[Babylon. All guys dancing in thecrowd. The Boys watch from the usual stairway.]
Em: I just want you to know how very, very proud I am ofyou.
Ted: For what?
Em: For kicking you're direction. For kicking out of bed.For doin' some productive.
Brian: Like sharing a buck in Babylon!
Em: Like getting a new job.
Ted: Thanks to me... here I say it... good friend Brian.
Brian: Don't say it!
Em: But you've must really impressed them.
Brian: All I've said is that you a really boring. Whichis quite big compliment for an accountant.
Ted: OK, I know I'm not you're favourite person. In fact,out of the six billion people in the world, I'm sure thatI rank somewhere below the population of Zambia andZimbabwe, but if there's anything I can do to return thefavor...
Brian: There is. You've see me at lunch? Pretend youdon't know me.
Ted: Got ya.
[Brian offers Mike a pill.]
Brian: One for Mikey.
Michael: Get this shit away from me!
Em: What have you?
Michael: Nothing! - Buzzy's moving to Florida! f*ck Buzzy has a dream!
Ted: Who's f*cking Buzzy?
Brian: No one. I've seen him.
Em: He has a comic book store. Honey, aren't there anyother places?
Michael: That's my place! I've been go there since I was10!
[Cut to Justin. He's looking for Brian.]
Justin: Hey.
Brian: Hey. Why you aren't home and packing lunch box?You've school tomorrow.
Justin: I don't need to. I'm not goin'.
Em: Let me guess. You heard that they're going to makeyou draw vaginas?
Justin: I quit!
Em: You...what?!
Ted: What for?
Justin: Well, I can't draw anymore, so what's the pointof wasting my time. When I could be here, popping pillsand drinking beer and sticking my gimp hand down guys'pants. [He goes to some hottie.] You wanna dance?
Guy: f*ck yeah!
Michael: What's that all about?
Brian: Pain management.
[The other day. Big Q. Mike andTracy hang a huge banner that proclaims, "Big Q'sAnnual Sidewalk Sale! Fun for the Whole Family!"Bunches of red, white, and blue balloons hang from allthe racks.]
Michael: I can't wait for this day to be over.
Tracy: Thank God is just once in a year.
Michael: Fun for the Whole Family. More like, 'Here'syour balloon, kid, now shut up and let me shop!' So,who's the victim this year?
Tracy: Sally, the new cashier.
Michael: She's sweet. At least she was until today. Todaywe drain her of her soul, her dignity.
Andrew: Sally just called. She's not feeling well. Didsomebody tell her?
Tracy: Not me.
Michael: Didn't say a word.
Andrew: We need somebody else. It's all you're Novotny.
Michael: Wait a minute!
Andrew: Is a policy. The newest employee gets the honor.
Tracy: But Michael's been here forever.
Andrew: Correction. He left, then he come back. So duringmy calculations you're it. Now go get dressed.
Michael: Forget it!
[The next sh*t features Mike allclowned up, holding a bunch of balloons. Kids circlearound him and try and grab at the balloons.]
Boy: Can I have a balloon, please?
[Mike hands a white one to a small boy.]
Boy: I wanted a red one.
Michael: Life sucks, kid. Better you know now to bedisappointed later.
[Linds has hear the last sentense. Mel and Linds comingup with Gus.]
Linds: I could swear it's Michael.
Mel: Where?
Linds: That guy in the clown suit.
Mel: What would he be doing in a clown suit? He's amanager, they don't make managers clowns.
[Mike spots them and tries to hide behind his balloons.]
Linds: Excuse me, could we get a balloon for our son?
[Mike tries to hand Lindsay all of them, so that he canstill hide.]
Mel: Oh thanks, but we only need one, please.
Linds: We're looking for a friend, Michael Novotny. Heworks here.
[Linds are going around him.]
Linds: Michael! It is you!
Mel: Oh Michael, why are you doin' this?
Michael: Don't ask. And don't tell - especially to Brian.
Linds: There have been some great clowns! Bozo, EmmettKelly --
[Michael walks off.]
Mel: Hey, what is with Gus' balloon?
[Brian's advertising agency.Brian walks down the hall with a colleague as Ted passesby.]
Ted: Hey guys, how's goin'?
Guy: Who's that? A geyser?
Brian: Who the f*ck do I now?
[They're goin' to the computer room. A guy leans relaxedfor.]
Brian: If you're not feeling pressure, I'm not doin' myjob.
[Brian looks at the screen.]
Brian: It's interesting.
Guy#2: Of course it's needs some refining. I can give ared poppies, green leaves, there you go.
[Brian looks surprise to the touch screen.]
Brian: That'samazing.
Guy#2: Thanks.
Brian: We're talking about this thing.
Guy#2: Oh this, it's cool.
[Ted's new office. Ted sits behind a stack of papers, as his new boss briefs him on the many things he needs to know about the wide,wonderful world of ad-agency accounting.]
New Boss: You're familiar with the P-3 software?
Ted: It's just like my last job.
New Boss: We keep our receivable currency and we have a revolving line of credit at the Bank of Pittsburgh.
Ted: It's just like my last job.
New Boss: We paid our client billing.
Ted: It's just like my last job.
New Boss: And we walk around like we're d*ad inside.
Ted: It's just like my last job.
New Boss: Mr.Schmidt? Mr.Schmidt!
Ted: I will start with that right away,Mr.Wertshafter...uh, Blackshafter...uh, sirshafter.
[phone rings.]
Ted: Ted Schmidt.
Em: Hey I just called and see how's goin'?
Ted: Oh, it's great. I couldn't be better.
Em: So, what's it like?
Ted: Glorious, I have a desk and a chair and a computer.
Em: What's the color scheme?
Ted: Beigey-grey, or greyish-beige, depending on how youwant to look at it.
Em: Well, that sounds perfect, honey. Stay in touch, butstay off you-know-what.com!
[Hehangs up. Cut to Em's living room.]
Em: Thank you God for make me out of mouth.
[Michael comes in.]
Em: You look good with a little makeup.
Michael: f*ck! They told you, didn't they? They couldn'twait.
Em: Tell me what?
Michael: What are you talking about?
Em: Gay Pride. What are you talking about?
Michael: Gay Pride. How they turn around?
Em: And forgive me for saying this, but you make onebitchin' broad.
Michael: I can't believe I let you walk me into wearing adress. There I am, kissing my boss. The biggest assholein the world.
Em: Honey, that's what Pride is all about. Love andforgiveness, I mean. You're been blush.
[He plops down onto the couch and stews. Looking up, hesees his big Captain Astro mural. He goes into his roomand gets the issue of Astro Comics #1 that Brian boughthim for his birthday, and looks it over.]
[Later, back at the loft, Brian'sbrought home the computer from work. It sits patiently onthe desk as he does many crunches on the floor. Justincomes home.]
Brian: Lost Boy returns.
[Justin pads into the kitchen, grabs a bottle of water,and pours it over his head.]
Brian: Feelin' better?
Justin: A lots.
Brian: How's Daphne?
Justin: She and her roomies had to study. Fortunately,that's no longer my problem. I went to Woody's and letguys buy me drinks. They all wanted to f*ck me. Thank GodI still have my looks. Till now, I'm saving that for you.
[Justin fumbles around.]
Brian: You're a sweetheart. Later. Come and see what Igot you.
Justin: What? A new buttplug manual?
Brian: Better. I saw it today at work...
Justin: I'm not interested.
Brian: You're not even know what it is.
Justin: Sure I did. It's false hope.
Brian: You can draw with it. See? Same as a pen or pencilbut it's easier to control.
Justin: Oh, I could get with my gimp hand?
Brian: And there's a million special effects that you cancreate with it. Stop being a f*cking princess and comegive it a try.
Justin: What for? To make you happy? So you can tellyourself you fixed Little Justin's problems and madeeverything all better? Well, you can't fix this, alright?-- No one can.
Brian: So, you're just gonna quit.
Justin: It's over, all right? Accept it. I'm not going todraw again! And no f*cking electronic Crayola box isgonna fix that! So, why you f*ck me before I pass out.
[Justin goes in the bed.]
[Big Q Mart. The Truck Guys areteasing Mike about dressing up as a clown.]
Guy#1: Excuse me sir, can you tell me where I can get thered noses?
Guy#2: I hear, they will get you the bunny suit for theEaster sale.
Tracy: Has you guys nothing better to do? Like doin'you're jobs?
Guy#1: We're just kiding around.
Tracy: Well, why didn't you kiding around someone else?
[The two guys leaving.]
Tracy: They are the clowns.
Michael: They were right. It was ridiculous.
Andrew: Okay Novotny, better get into this.
Michael: What?
Andrew: You did such a good job yesterday. I just figuredyou should do it today.
Michael: No f*cking way!
Andrew: And watch you're language, pal. This is a familystore. And you get dressed.
Michael: Sorry Andrew, you just gonna find somebody else.
Andrew: Excuse me?
Michael: I said no.
Andrew: In case you're forgotten I'm the manager now.
Michael: I'm well aware of that. Since you've managed tonever let me forgetten but the thing you can't forget isthat the only reason you have this job is because I left.My only mistake was that I should never have come back!
Andrew: I said put it on.
Michael: And I said no.
Andrew: Put it on... or you're fired.
Michael: f*ck you!
[Michael goes to Tracy and kisses her goodbye. Then hegrabs Andrew and kisses him, too, fast and hard.]
Michael: So long, Loverboy.
[Mike purrs, lifting a knowing eyebrow. Andrew's inshock.]
[Liberty Diner. Justin carriestwo coffee carafes.]
Justin: Watch you're back. Hot stuff coming through.
[Debbie pinches his butt]
Deb: No kidding! Whoo!
[Lindsay sits at the counter watching Emmett eat a donutwith a Kn*fe and a fork.]
Linds: I've never seen anyone eat a donut like thisbefore. Is that a southern thing?
Em: It's more a survival, sort of thing. Try and grab it.
[She does, and Emmett nearly spears her hand with thefork.]
Em: This may not be approved, but with six hungrybrothers and sisters it's all what counts. Hey, morecoffee jobber boy.
[Justin tries to pour the coffee into Emmett's cup, buthe loses control and he spills all over the counter.]
Deb: Maybe you give you're hand a rest, huh, sunshine.
Justin: Let me mind you're own f*cking business!
Deb: What did you say to me?
Justin: I said mind you own business.
Deb: Yeah, I heard what you said.
Justin: Then why you ask me to repeat it?
Deb: I just wanted to make sure I heard correctly.
Justin: Leave me the f*ck alone!
[Debbie pulls him aside.]
Deb: Justin! I know what happen to you sucks. I'm notgiven you some popping shit about everything happens fora reason or that was God's gift to make you stronger.Because if anyone had say that to me, honey, when Vic wasdying, I would have punched them right in the f*ck. All you can do at a time like this is just hang onuntil the scenery changes. So, why you just let me handlethe hot stuff, okay?
[Justin nodds.]
Deb: And one more thing. The next time you talk to melike that, I'm going to rip you a new butthole so big youcan stick a cannon up your ass.
Linds: [to Emmett] Bye.
Em: Bye.
Linds: [to Justin] Something tells me you need a break.
[The Art Gallery. Lindsay andJustin wander through a new exhibit.]
Linds: So, what do you think?
Justin: Who gives a shit that I think?
[Lindsay prompts.]
Justin: The technique is color, it's interesting.
[They stand right in front of a paiting.]
Linds: "A sad young men".
Justin: Yeah, who needs to look at that?
Linds: Especially when you've got a mirror.
Justin: I like that one. It's less representational, it'smore spontaneous, it's more...angry.
Linds: Like what you're feeling?
Justin: The artist is obviously influence by the work ofthe abstractionist.
[A paraplegic woman in a wheelchair rolls on over. Sheand Lindsay exchange air kisses.]
Adrienne: Lindsay long time day!
Linds: Congratulations to the show.
Adrienne: Thanks.
Linds: I like to meet a new friend. This is JustinTaylor. This is Adrienne Bennet. She is the artist.Justin is an artist, too. He was just call on this piecehow much he like the spontaneity, the anger.
Adrienne: Yeah, I was in the mood that day. So, whatkinds stuff you do?
Justin: I've done anymore. I give it up.
Adrienne: Christ, if I couldn't work, I'd wheel myselfoff a cliff.
Justin: How do you? I mean...
Adrienne: Work? The way two snails f*ck. Very slowly. Igot this contruction called arm bended. It's good onbrushing.
Justin: Sounds hard.
Adrienne: What's easy besides complaining?
Linds: As if you never did that.
Adrienne: Back off, bitch, or I'll roll over your foot. Ihave to admit that I wasn't too pleased after doin' spinout on the Panlay Park Way to wake up and commit that mydancing days are over. In fact, I was offering big bucksto anyone who would sh**t me. He must feeling the sameway. It ain't the end of the world, kid. Unless you wantit to be. Now, pick a painting.
Justin: Mmmh?
Adrienne: I want you to have one.
Linds: Adrienne.
Adrienne: Don't worry about it, it's plenty more releasefrom.
[Debbie lets herself into Mike'sapartment. She's wearing a Shirt "You say tomato, Isay f*ck off".]
Debbie: I just called the Big Q. They said that you notlonger work there?! That you quit?
Michael: That's right, mom.
Debbie: Why would you do stupid thing like that?
Michael: I'm following my dream.
Debbie: To be unemployed?
[Brian comes out of the bath.]
Brian: Leave him alone, Deb.
Debbie: I should have known that you be involved.
Brian: I have nothing to do with it.
Debbie: Yeah, I've been hearing that since you werefourteen.
Brian: It's his life!
Debbie: Yeah, that's easy for you to say -- you can payyour bills.
Michael: Would you two knock it off? I'm gonnaconcentrate.
Debbie: On what?
Michael: I'm marching something on eBay.
Brian: You're mother? Better not start the bidding tohigh.
Michael: My Captain Astro Vol.1, Issue 1.
Brian: The one that I brought you for you're birthday?That cost a f*cking mind.
Michael: I know. If I get enough for it I'm gonna buyBuzzy's store.
Debbie: You buy a comic book store? It's crazy.
Michael: So it's staying a shop where I'm gonna bemiserable for the rest of my life.
Brian: What's the bit at?
Michael: It's stuck in a thousand.
Brian: A thousand?! f*ck, it worth more than that!
Debbie: If you said that you've really sorry maybe theygive you you're job back?
Michael: It's only a few minutes left.
Brian: How does five thousand sounds?
Michael: You're bitting on yourself?
Debbie: Why would the f*ck do this? You're already boughtit ones!
Brian: The secret to getting someone to want something isto convince them that someone else wants it more.
Debbie: That won't never work. People doesn't thatstupid.
Michael: Six thousand dollars!
Debbie: Then again...
[The video store. Ted's droppingoff his rentals, housed in a very large department-storebag.]
Ted: So, I will bring the rest back tomorrow.
Mel: The rest?
Ted: Put it on my charge client.
[a customer comes up with three videos.]
Customer: Which of these you recommend.
Clerk: You think I watch this shit? Ask him. He saw itall.
Ted: Let me see. Your Ass-Licked Park. Excellent rimmingscene between a paleontologist and a stegosaurus. ForestDump. Some idiot gives Nixon a plate job in the OvalOffice. Oh, definitely this one, Arm-n'-head-in. It's gotthe best fisting scene on an asteroid headed to earthever filmed.
Customer: Wow. I take this one.
[Outside the video store. Mel andTed are leaving them after Ted brings back a part of hiscollection.]
Melanie: Look, you are amazing! Although I wouldn't callknowing every boy-bang flick ever made a significantcontribution to cultural literacy.
Ted: Hey, Missy Big Words, I'm not ashamed of p*rn! p*rn have an surviving important andprofound human service.
Melanie: Oh, that sound to good.
Ted: Take a guy like me, renting a video. What are mychoices? A moronic comedy, a cop drama staring somebrainless actor sh**ting off his little g*n, or...anexotic fantasyland filled with beautiful men, all of whomare there for the sole purpose of leasing me. This is mychance to be Brian Kinney. f*ck anyone I want.
Melanie: Allright, allright. There is a lots of dreamboy.But you have to admit it's a dirty business.
Ted: For making people happy? It's a lot more than I cansay for me job. All I do is crunching numbers so someasshole can cheat Uncle Sam out of a few bucks! Nowthat's what I call p*rn! There's no socially redeemingvalue whatsoever.
Melanie: I think you provide a extremely valuableservice.
Ted: Preparing you're taxes? Yeah? When was the last timeI made you come?
Melanie: 1998. I got a big refund. I get at the court.Bye.
[Ted's attention is caught by the monitors inside thevideo store. One is hooked up to a camera that's sh**t outside through the window bars; from Ted'sperspective, it looks like he's caught in a cage.Trapped! And in his head, he hears, "Yeah. Go forit!".]
[Michael's place. Still biting oneBay.]
Michael: It stuck at six thousand.
Brian: Allright, seven thousand.
Michael: Christ Brian, they won't do that. It's onlythirty seconds left.
Brian: Huh! Eight thousand.
Debbie: Take it! Take it!
Michael: It doesn't work that way, mom.
Brian: Nine thousand.
Michael: God, no!
Debbie: I can't look. I can't look!
[She buries her head into the top of her son's, coveringhis eyes with her talons. Mike has to push her off.]
Michael: But you have you're finger in my eye!
Debbie: I'm sorry, honey.
Michael: Ten seconds.
Debbie: [screams] NOBODY'S BITTING!
Michael: Look! [Somebody bitts ten thousand.]
Debbie: ...ten thousand...
Brian: Ten thousand...
Michael: Ten thousand...
Debbie: Ten thousand!
[Cue laughter! Screaming! Jumping around! Mike grabsBrian and kisses him! Brian grins in relief.]
Debbie: Oh, and to think I used to yell at you forreading them!
[Later at Woody's. The g*ng isthere. Except Justin.]
Emmett: On the store. I already know somebody has astore. Finally I can get a fabulous discount on somethingI have no desire to own. Why couldn't your dream havebeen cashmere?
Melanie: My grandfather used to own his own dry-goodstore in Brooklyn and he use to say, "Better to workfor yourself, than some meshugine ganif!"
Lindsay: He knew what he was talking about, even if noone else did!
[Brian grabs Mike and kisses him.]
Michael: What was that for?
Brian: Cause you're so pathetic.
Michael: Thanks a lot.
Brian: What f*cking life has other option? What if ithadn't work up?
Michael: Well, then I guess I'd have no money, no job, nonothing.
Brian: Nothing but the biggest balls in the whole f*ck.
Linds: Teddy, what are you doin' here?
Brian: Why you not at home and jerk off?
Ted: Since I finally come to my sences and I wanna thankyou guys for helping me through one of the darkest andmost difficult times on my life. But I finally ready tobecome a productive part of society again. I want to giveback to the community, feel a sense of pride, of purpose.
Emmett: That's wonderful, sweetheart.
Ted: So, I decided to quit my new job and start my p*rn website.
Melanie: What?
Michael: Well, at least he's following his dream!
Brian: Wherever it will may be.
[Brian's. Justin slumps in a chair acrossfrom his gift from Brian. A painting of some very thinsneering guy wearing goggles on top of his head. Brianhops out of the shower and wanders across the bathroom.Justin watches Brian wrap a towel around his waist, graban apple, and lie down on the bed to eat it. Justinstares at him for a moment, then ambles past hissketchbook over to the computer screen, deciding to givethis new-fangled draw-ering machine a sh*t.]
[The next morning, Mike opens thedoor to his comic-book store for the very first time.Before he walks in, the femme Elvises from Woody's walkby on the street, singing "Follow that Dream"once last time. Mike steps in, throws his keys on thecounter, and surveys his new domain.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x05 - ...Wherever That Dream May Lead You"} | foreverdreaming |
(In a very odd dungeon-like room,the boys watch on a monitor as some scruffy cutie jerksoff in separate area of the very odd dungeon-like room.)
Ted: Internet Access, $38.00. Adult p*rn site membership,$29.95.
Michael: Watching men jerk off in the comfort of your ownhome? Priceless.
Brian: Masturbate the possibilities.
Michael: All you're showing is a twink beating his meat.
Ted: And you're point being?
Michael: Well there must be 8 dizillean gay p*rn site.
Em: I personally had think about 7 dizillian p*rn site.
Michael: What makes you're any different?
Ted: Oh Ye of little faith. OK, imagine you're at you'redesk and work for even Worthshafter and you're working onyou're calculations. It's do it 5, but you're alreadydone. Let's be honest, you give a shit aboutcalculations.
Em: Who's calculations?
Ted: So, you're log on for a little afternoon delight.But suddently Mr.Workshafter bargins in and sh*t,"Where is that file?" [he push "F10"]And voila.
Brian: A non-cubicle dweller, that's really slick.
Michael: Ultimate in safe sex.
Ted: JerkAtWork.net! For guys who don't only work...atwork.
Em: I say he need something.. bigger.
Brian: He looks like he's doin' alright to me.
Ted: Bigger, huh? OK, Robby it's time for you're break.
[Robbie huffs. Robbie puffs. And Robbie blows his wad allover himself. The Boys are impressed.]
Michael: Holy cumshot!
Ted: Don't forget, you're back in ten minutes!
Michael: He can come again in ten minutes?
Ted: With withness by the jizzball. Proving that thehandjob is quicker than the eye.
Brian: Yeah, well leave it to you to figure out how tofake an orgasm.
[Cut to the Comic Book Store thatMichael brough, where Emmett and Vic are helping Mikeclean up and organize.]
Vic: The Squid?
Michael: Uh, Issue and Year?
Vic: Issue 21, 19...
Michael: ...67. Right wall, row three.
Em: You know, I think they should be classified by thesuperhero's fashion sense. Superheroes with taste,superheroes that clash --
Vic: Let's hope they never let you near the Library ofCongress.
Michael: How did Buzzy run this place? Nothin' catalogueand inventory not existing. There is no in caps andwindow display. This place is a f*cking mess.
[Debbie comes in with drinks for all.]
Debbie: Yeah and I would have k*lled him when there's notbe a pleade either.
Michael: What was I'm thinking to buy this place?
Debbie: Who the hell I know? Shity old story with allmusty comics.
Michael: Thanks for the pepp talk, Mom.
Debbie: But it's your dream, sweetheart, and that's allthat matters.
[A six foot something, blue button-down shirt, bluejeans, beaten brown leather jacket, glasses guy comes in.Sandy hair, chin cleft. Emmett gets so distracted by thatguy that he runs into Michael's chair and stubs his toe.]
Michael: Em, what are you looking?
Em: At him. This glasses. I just love the boyish type.
Vic: There's so much to learn between the covers.
Em: So, what do you think?
Vic: Mike?
[He eats some food.]
Michael: Huh?
Vic: Gay or nay?
Em: Mmmh, the jacket and the shoes, the classic stuff. Isay straight.
Michael: Sandman, Batman, Superman. If he picks up anX-Men, I say he's gay.
Vic: I've go with Michael. Comic sense over fashionsense.
[The man goes to Debbie.]
Man: Excuse me, I'm looking for Wonder Woman.
Deb: You found her! Just kidding. You're looking for myson. He's the owner. Michael! You're got a customer!
Michael: Hi, can I help you?
Man: Yeah, yeah, I'm hope so. I'm looking for some comicbooks.
Michael: Good thing you didn't go next door, or you wouldhave gotten Lebanese takeout. Anything particularly?
Man: Yes, actually. I'm looking for works based on theirnarrative, their graphics, cultural references,subtextual points of view, that one might regard as --
Michael: Gay?
[Behind them, Emmett accidentally rings the counterbell.]
Man: Right. Right.
Michael: Um, well let me see you're choices here. Can Imake some suggestions?
Man: Please.
Michael: You may try Alpha Flight No. 106, whereNorthstar takes in a boy with AIDS or a highly recommandX-Force No. 56, where Rictor and Shadowstar are describedas being 'more than friends.' There is one destiny you'relooking at.
Man: Good.
Vic: That's amazing how much Michael knows.
Debbie: What can I say? My kid is a genius!
[Art School. Dean Ryerson looksat some examples of Justin's latest works. Posters ofexploding heads, exploding cars, dismembered stuff, inharsh black, white, and red.]
Dean: These drawings are, uh, very disturbing.
Justin: That supposed to be.
Dean: A quite different with the work you submitted whenwe accepted you.
Justin: Well, I don't see things the same way.
Dean: Professor Stanly tells me, you're using a computer.
Justin: It's the only way I can work.
Dean: We're expect our students are master thetraditional disciplines.
Justin: Sometimes the traditional disciplines can be ahandicap, too. And as much as I'm not loose my hand, Ithough I can never be an artist again. But instead, thishas taught me new ways to be an artist -- ways that Inever would have thought of, otherwise.
[Debbies kitchen. Debbie asksJustin. Everyone is in there. Around the table.]
Debbie: So, what they say?
Justin: All my application was approved. He said I canstay.
[Everyone claps, cheers, and/or gets in line tohug/kiss.]
Brian: What's with all the kissing? Are you trying toturn him straight?
[He kisses Justin with deep passion.]
Debbie: Oh, shit, they're going to do it right here.
Vic: I'll get my camera.
Mel: Better you go in a room.
Michael: Save it for Ted's website.
Ted: Yeah, if you didn't mind a few bucks.
Brian: Don't put any ideas in his head.
Vic: Or mine.
Mel: Maybe we could do it. Help pay for the wedding.Whaddaya think, Teddy?
Ted: Sure thing, Mel. Just draw yourself in a 9 inchcock...
Lindsay: Can we just talk other than sex? For just a fewminutes?
[They look at each other. Anyone? No?]
Em: If the twink jerks off for more than eight hours,does he get overtime?
[Justin gets up to clear the dishes.]
Debbie: Don't you buzz here, honey! You aren't in thediner. Sit down.
Justin: Okay. Never mind. Brian would you grab one?
Brian: That?
[He reaches to his croatch.]
Justin: At the plate, please.
Brian: Yes, dear.
Debbie: Holy crap, they're like f*cking newlyweds!
Mel: I'll never thought I would live to see this.
Lindsay: I think it's wonderful.
Ted: Yeah. Ten bucks says they don't last a month.
Vic: I give it three weeks.
Michael: Call me romantic. Five.
Em: I'll raise at ten and say... two.
Mel: God, you're all pussies! Seventy-two hours!
[Lindsay sees shocked to Mel.]
Ted: Deb?
Debbie: I don't put a price on people's happiness.Considering all they've been through, I'd think thattheir friends would vote for the house, instead f*g it.
Ted: That's a good point. So, Linds, you're in or out?
Lindsay: We have to go.
Deb: Wait a minute. We have dessert.
Lindsay: We must be home at nine. Mel!
Mel: Sorry.
Debbie: I made a pie!
[In front of the house. Mel andLinds are all alone.]
Mel: Linds? You're ok?
Lindsay: I'm fine.
Mel: Cramps?
Lindsay: No!
Mel: You're crankier than Gus when he needs a nap.
Lindsay: I just need to get out of this all.
Mel: I know Teddy's tchotchkes can you drive you crazy,too.
Lindsay: This isn't about tchotchkes. This is about theconstant stream of sexual innuendo all evening. Andfrankly I didn't find a remorial at Ted's website atleast been amusing.
Mel: But I wasn't serious! When did you become such aprude?
Lindsay: I'm not a prude! OK, maybe I am. A little.
Mel: A little.
Lindsay: I don't understand people spreading their legsfor the whole world to see! The idea of anyone I knowbeing a part of it really bothers me. C'mon.
[Mel rubs her hand thoughtfully over her chin.]
[The Comic Book Store. The guyfrom yesterday's back.]
Michael: Back so soon? And don't tell me you want throughall those comics I gave you already.
Man: Yeah, well, I'm pretty fast. I mean, I read quickly.I don't waste a time. Life's too short. Who knows whatcould happen tomorrow -- or even five minutes from now?
Michael: Uh, that's true. Is anything else I can help youwith?
Man: Uh, yeah, I hope so. I should explain. My name isBen... Ben Bruckner.
Michael: Michael. Novotny.
Ben: I teach Gay Studies at Carnegie Mellon.
Michael: I knew it!
Ben: You knew what?
Michael: With all that talk about cultural references, Iknew you had to be...uh, a professor.
Ben: Oh, okay, anywhere we're exploring h*m* in thecultural from greek to... roman up to and including comiccultural, modern comic book cultur, so I'll do a littleresearch.
Michael: Research, right. Got it. Let me see if I foundsomething else for you.
Ben: Actually I already found what I want.
Michael: Yeah?
Ben: You.
Michael: Me?
Ben: Yeah, I'd like to come and speak to me class.
Michael: [laughs] About what?
Ben: Well, when it comes to comics you're obviously theexpert, so...
Michael: I wouldn't say that. It's some known about sinceI were a kid.
Ben: No, no, it's differently more than knowing. When youtalk about them, you have a passion. So, whaddaya say?Will you come?
[All of a sudden, Mike's face fades into a comic bookpanel, and a little balloon pops up over his head, whichsays, "Oh, Ben, take me away with you!" Mikebounces back to reality.]
Michael: Um, I'd love to come.
[Grocery store. Brian stands atthe opposite end of a vegetable display from another guy.Brian picks up a zucchini. The other guy picks up alarger one. Brian's like, okay, and picks up an evenlarger zucchini. The other guy picks one up that's evenlarger than that. Brian picks up the biggest one of all.]
Justin: Check it out. There got a second box of pennewith a coupon.
Brian: You clip coupons?!
Justin: Yeah. Until I save money.
Brian: I didn't know you were so tight.
Justin: [see the other man] Sure you did.
Brian: Why you didn't take these two boxes of penne backand get one box of rigatoni. f*ck the fifty cents. Andbuy some Crisco, even if it's not on sale!
Man#1: [to another] See that guy? That's Brian Kinney. Heused to be the hottest stud on Liberty Avenue. Now? He'sin a relationship.
[JerkAtWork.net. Ted's going overthe books while Robbie looks over his shoulder.]
Robbie: Did you include my expenses?
Ted: What is you're expenses?
Robbie: Body care lotion. Is was 8,50.
Ted: You have a receive? [Robbie looking in his pocket.]Yeah, it's okay. I'll take you're word for it. OK,percentage of total subribers and you're time online atto you're base. Come to a grand total of... 18.72$.
Robbie: Are you telling me I spend 8 hours wacking offfor 18 dollars?
Ted: A lot of people do it for free, you know.
Robbie: Yeah, but you said I gonna make like 500 $ a day.
Ted: That was based on the third-quarter projectedearnings.
Robbie: OK, what about this quarter?
Ted: You know, when you commit to a fledgling enterprise,it's not about the money; it's about investing in thefuture and nurturing growth.
Robbie: You know you can tell that to my dick, Ted.Because it's worn to a nub!
Ted: Well, I know a good physical therapist.
Robbie: Is that covered by the company health plan?
Ted: Company health plan?
Robbie: What about the 401k you was offered, too.
Ted: OK, we need to discuss that.
Robbie: You know, I know when somebody is jerking mearound. I quit.
Ted: But you're walking out a golden opportunity here.We're around the grand floor of it, creating of indever.
[he slams the door behind him.]
[Justin and Daphne walk back tothe loft, sharing a joint. In public.]
Daphne: My roommates, never pick up the clothes or makethe bed or ups wash the dish!
Justin: We have a cleaning lady that comes by twice aweek.
Daphne: I have to wait for hot water when I get to thebathroom. And when I got in there there's not hot waterleft.
Justin: We're shower together to save water.
Daphne: They're play the music to loud I can hear myselfthink.
Justin: That sounds awful.
Daphne: Yeah, it's wonderful.
Justin: I'm glad to living with Brian.
Daphne: Yeah, but don't get to comfortable. You don'tknow how long it lasts.
Justin: Mmmh, that's what everbody says but he's changed.Like today. There is a really cute guy with the goatieand leather jacket at the shopping sale. Normally wewould left me in the checkout line. This time there evenleft.
Daphne: Sounds like you check him out, too.
Justin: I'm on my sexual peak. From here on in it is alldone here.
[And Justin's so high, he almost passes the building.Daphne and Justin giggle all the way up to the loft andthrough the door, and Justin picks up a green apple offthe floor. They're still giggling when they find Brianhaving sex with Zucchini Man on the sofa. Then thegiggling stops. Justin tries to plaster an acceptingsmile on his face, but his eyes aren't having it.]
[Liberty Diner. At the counter,Ted's working on his books, Mike's working on hislecture, and Emmett in the middle.]
Em: I told you so. I tried to warn you. Didn't I try towarn him? Did I said or didn't I said something? But youwon't listen.
Ted: If I don't come up with something quick I'm gonnaloose my condo, my car, my ass.
Em: You are not listening. I might as well be aninvisible man. Or worse, a mime.
Michael: He said I should start my speech with a joke.How about this one? How can you tell if a superhero isgay? His boots match his purse.
Em: [laughs] Sounds funny.
Ted: Not funny.
Michael: It stinks.
Em: OK, is no one going to acknowledge my presence?
Ted and Michael: Can you pass the creme?
[Emmett deliberately passes the cream to Ted and the jamto Mike. Mike and Ted look up and snort.]
Ted: He never listens.
[Debbie walks up with the coffee pot. About her T-Shirt"If you think my attitude stinks, you should smellmy fingers."]
Deb: Okay, get 'em up, boys! The coffee cups, that is.
[Brian shows up, kisses Mike on the cheek, grabs Emmettfirmly by the shoulders.]
Brian: Good morning, Deb. A flop, two, sinkers, and somesuds.
Ted: Flop, sinker. My life is a breakfast combo.
Deb: Two eggs, a donut, and coffee for "Mr.Wonderful." Someone got lucky last night.
[Mike starts to read his speech from a set of blue indexcards, which he holds up really close to his face.]
Michael: h*m* in comic books. The male form isbeing worshiped from Mickeangelo to Captain Astro.
Brian: [to Deb] What's he doin'?
Deb: What's he doin'? Michael's given a lecture atCarnegie g*dd*mn Mellon. That's what he's doin'!
Brian: I'm impressed, Mikey. Next you'll be receivingyour honorary doctorate.
Michael: I don't think so. Especially when the closestI've come to higher education is when I f*cked thattextbook salesman from Cleveland.
Ted: Well according my calculation I've got just enoughmoney left for my funeral.
Em: Don't ask me to deliver the eulogy. No one wouldlisten.
Brian: Deb! My breakfast!
Deb: Workin' on it!
[Justin pouts on over with Brian's donut.]
Brian: Good morning, Sunshine.
Justin: Can I get you something else?
Brian: Uh, yeah. Come and think about it.
[Brian tries to inhale Justin's face. Justin pulls away.]
Justin: I've be late for class.
[Mikesenses that something's up. Mike catches up with Justin outside.]
Michael: Hey, you're mother teachin' to crossin' thegreen? What did he do now?
Justin: Nothing!
Michael: Cut the shit! I know that face. That's the'Brian Kinney just f*cked me' face.
Justin: Yeah, except it wasn't me he was f*cking. It wassome other guy. At home on the f*cking couch!
Michael: Another hurricane off the coast of Florida,another earthquake in Peru -- so what else is new?
Justin: I guess, I just though that now we're together...
Michael: ...this things will be different. Brian is nevergonna change. You know that.
Justin: Then why I am there?
Michael: Maybe because you got bashed in the head and he feels guilty? [Justin runs away.] Sorry, I didn't mean for the sound like that! Sorry.
[Zee Gym. sh*ts of men doing bicep curls on a bench, one after another.]
Ted: Eight thousand down the drain...nine thousand down the drain...
Em: Stop fredding, Teddy. I have a plan.
Ted: At this point, I am so desperate that I actuallystop what I'm doing, turn to you with a plaintiveexpression, and ask, 'You do?'
Em: Of course! After you lose everything you have in theworld, you move in with Michael and me. We have aninflatable mattress and a spare key.
Ted: Ten thousand down the drain...eleven thousand downthe drain.
[Emmett sees Zack O'Tool across the room.]
Em: OK, I have another idea.
Ted: Does it involve begging at an off-ramp or sleepingin a cardboard box?
Em: No, no. Actually it involves...
[Ted's looking at Zack.]
Ted: Zack O'Tool.
Em: Remember how I told you that you needed somethingbigger? Maybe now you'll listen.
[Emmettand Ted trot over to join the crowd of men surroundingthe massive p*rn star. Emmett pushes his way through.]
Em: Zack, so good to see you again.
Ted: Did you really expect a p*rn star of his magnet toremember you?
Em: Well, maybe he'll remember this.
[He opens up his mouth really wide.]
Zack: Oh, yeah. You were the guy who was supposed to blowme.
Ted: Yeah and I'm the guy who paid you to do it.
Em: So, what brings you to town?
Zack: Workin' on my new film. It's a football epic."Backsides in Motion". Jerk it off.
Em: Well, I love anything with shoulder pads. So...
Zack: I got to go.
[TheSteam Room. Naked men wander around, dick sh*ts abound,etc. Ted and Emmett peer around the corner to stare atO'Tool.]
Em: Didn't I tell you that he was even bigger in person?It's huge.
Ted: It's gargantuan.
Em: It's just what you need. He need what everbody needs.C'mon.
[They sit down on either side of Zack.]
Em: Hey Zack.
Ted: Hay Zack.
Zack: Now what?
Em: Well, my friend has this live website...
Zack: I'm not interested.
Em: Oh well, since you have a legend of fans...
Zack: Not interested.
Ted: What better to plug your new picture?
Zack: Whacking off on the web is for amateurs, boys.
Em: We give you a thousand bucks, and a limousine,champagne and, uh, you're own personal fluffer.
Ted: [whispers] What did you saying? That will cost me afortune.
Em: Would you rather lose one?
Ted: So, Zack, how would you like to share your memberwith our members?
[Brian drives Mike to CarnegieMellon in his jeep.]
Michael: Sexy, perfect body, aloof, desirable, yetunattainable.
Brian: Okay, that's enough about me.
Michael: I was refering about Silver Surfer. This speechis for shit.
Brian: Why did you agree?
Michael: The professor is very cute.
Brian: Really?
Michael: Oh, you can put that idea right out of you'remind, mister. I saw him first. Besides you're living withsomeone.
Brian: He's living with me.
Michael: Whatever. Either way, you're all comfy and cozy.Except when you're f*cking other guys.
Brian: Who I f*ck is out of you're business or his.
[When they pull up to the school, Mike panics.]
Brian: Get out.
Michael: What the f*ck is the matter with you?
Brian: This is it.
Michael: This is a really damn idea. C'mon, let's go outof here.
Brian: Don't be pathetic. You made a commitment, nowyou're gonna go through with it.
Michael: Like you know about making commitment.
Brian: This why I never do.
Michael: What if I make fool about myself?
Brian: Who gives a shit -- it's f*cking college! Now, goshow the frat boys what real men are made of, and get mesome phone numbers while you're at it. Bye!
[On hisway to class, Mike tries not to be intimidated by hissurroundings. Following behind him are three students,one of whom is reading the title of Mike's lecture.]
Student#1: h*m* Themes and Imagery as Depictedin the Graphic Novel.
Student#2: You mean a comic book.
Student#1: I can just picture the big essay question onthe final: compare and contrast Michel Foucault withBatman and Robin!
Student#2: [laughs] How can you compare h*m* in comic books with Gide and Genet?
Student#3: Proust or Wilde?
Student#1: Baldwin or Williams?
Student#2: Who's giving this lecture anyway? Spiderman?
Student#3: There is this guy who rent a comic book store.
Student#1: Well, he should be a real brain trust.
[Everyone laughs derisively as they walk in the door tothe lecture hall. Mike's pretty much frozen at theentrance.]
[Mel and Lindsay's House.Lindsay's on the couch, eating cookies and rippingpictures out of bridal magazines. Melanie comes home fromwork. Lindsay gives her a big hug and kiss.]
Lindsay: So, what do you think? Sexy, timeless.
Mel: Gee, you want wearing wedding dresses?
Lindsay: What else?
Mel: Well, we could always wear strap-ons, and getmarried on Ted's website.
Lindsay: I don't think that's funny. How could a nice,intelligent person do something like that? C'mon let's gothose magazines together.
Mel: Alright.
[Melanie leaves the room for a second and returns with abig cardboard box.]
Lindsay: What do you doing?
Mel: After I came out, in fact I was in college my dadcut my off. He told me that he never want to see meagain. And I figured that I had to find a way to supportmyself. But you know how Jewish parents are. 'Forever'turned out to be three weeks. By then I made up enough topay for the rest of the year's tuition and the next.
[Mel come out with the Oui magazine. That's a magazine offemale p*rn.]
Mel: It's not exactly modern bride.
[Lindsay takes the issue Mel offers her and thumbsthrough it cautiously. And there Melanie is, buck naked,tummy sucked in, back arched, and lips pursed, fingersintwined in a string of pearls.]
Lindsay: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god, Mel!
[The dungeon.]
Ted: 503 people already logged on to see Zack O'Tool.
Em: Is that good?
Ted: Do the math. 29.95 times 503 is 15.000 dollars.Yeah, this is very, very good.
Em: And all want to see Zack wack. When he's gettin'here?
Ted: Any minute now.
Em: You know, Teddy, I'm so proud of you. You took yourdream, grabbed it by the balls, shaved them, and made itcome true.
[phone rings.]
Ted: JerkAtWork.net see Zack O'Tool wack. Hello?
[On the other end, The Zack is only wearing football padsand his really long dick.]
Zack: Hello? Tad?
Ted: No, this is Ted. Zack?
Zack: Yeah, yeah. I'm here on set. We're running a littlebehind...
Ted: What, what do you mean a little behind?
Zack: I'm about to do my big scene where I ream the teamfor fumbling their balls.
Ted: I mean, we could start a little later.
Zack: The director's calling. I've got my big wide sh*t.
Ted: Zack!
Zack: Look, you know Ted, no I can't make it. Thanks. [hehangs up.]
Em: Teddy, what is it?
Ted: I've got 503 horny cyber geeks waiting to see ZackO'Tool jacking the beanstalk, only he's not coming! Atleast not here. What I am gonna do?
Em: My offers still stands the inflatable bed and thespare key still stands are yours.
[Ted looks over at Emmett for a sec.]
Ted: Get on the bed.
Em: Excuse me?
Ted: I said get on the bed!
Em: What for?
Ted: Whattaya think? The show must go on!
Em: Ted, are you crazy?
Ted: You like jerk it off, don't you? I mean you do itanyway.
Em: Yes, but not in front of hundreds of people. Besidethey're sign in to see Zack O'Tool, not me.
Ted: It doesn't matter. At this point, a dick's a dick.And you're the only dick I've got! Here!
[Ted throws a bottle of lube at him.]
Em: Y'know, I'm sorry Teddy, every friendship, even oneas deep and as close as ours, has its limitations.
Ted: I'll paying you what I pay Zack O'Tool.
Em: Then again if you can you're friend a favor.
[In Brian's loft, Justin isdrawing on the computer. Brian comes up behind him andstarts to nuzzle his neck.]
Justin: Stop!
Brian: Why? What have you something better to do?
Justin: Homework?
Brian: Well, I'm in a really shit trouble. You're notstill upset about the Zucchini Man, are you? I don't evenremember it or him. It was nothing.
Justin: I know. It's just you being you. I know who youare. I don't expect you to change, in fact, I don't evenwant you to.
Brian: Then what?
Justin: Why am I here?
Brian: One night you're mommy and daddy want to make ababy...
Justin: You know what I'm mean. It's just you feel guiltyabout what happened? [Pause] Answer me. Answer me! If Ihadn't get bash in the hat would I even be here?
[Brian doesn't have a quick enough answer to that, andJustin picks up his stuff and stalks off.]
[Mike's closing the store. Bencomes up.]
Ben: Hey Michael. I was trying to catch you.
Michael: Well, you caught me.
Ben: Yeah, the class waitin' for you. You never showed.
Michael: Yeah, the thing is I was really busy. I had youjust called. I'm sorry.
Ben: But I'd like to reschedule. How's Thursday?
Michael: Well, I'm starting a new business. I don't thinkI have the time.
Ben: Yeah, uh, I think I understand. It was an impositionin the first place.
Michael: Wait, wait. Look. The truth is I'm not Brainiac.
Ben: Well wait, one of Superman's arch-villains, am Iright? See, I'm learning.
Michael: I'm impressed. Standing in front of a bunch ofcollege students pretending that I know something isbullshit!
Ben: Why is it bullshit, Michael?
Michael: Because the Justice League of America isn'texactly Proust or Foucault, or whoever the f*ck they are.
Ben: You could tell them something. What you know is justas valuable. You have this incredible knowledge of gaysemiotics that you don't even realize.
Michael: Gay what?
Ben: Never mind, it is no matter. The point is you havethis...
Michael: Passion?
Ben: Irradiate it. It's like the Flynn.
Michael: Well, that must be why...I'm a little hot.
[The dungeon.]
Ted: No, no, they're bailing fast.
Em: Well, what did you expect? Signing up to see ZackO'Tool and instead they get me. They screaming for therunning back.
Ted: And I'm gonna give it to them unless you start doin'something!
[Emmett lamely waves at the camera.]
Ted: Take something off!
[Emmett gingerly unbuttons his shirt.]
Ted: Better. Take off you're g*dd*mn pants!
Em: Alright!
[Emmett turns his back to the camera, cautiously takesoff his pants and strips down to his black bikiniunderwear.]
Ted: And now you're undies. Good, right. 180 and holding.I think we've stopped the bleeding.
Em: What do I do now?
Ted: What do you mean? You grab your pud and you pull!
[Emmett slowly turns around to face the camera.]
Ted: It's starting to grow up.
Em: So am I.
Ted: Holy shit!
Em: What? What?
Ted: You're bigger than O'Tool! Our subscriber are to,250. OK, keep stroking!
Em: I always told you I was a grower, not a show-er. Whatwaiting for me to sh**t?
Ted: Not yet.
Em: How much longer?
Ted: 530! Now, now, now! Go, go, go. sh**t, sh**t, sh**t!
[He sh**t all over himself.]
Ted: Emmett, that's amazing. That is amazing! No one'sever going to know that you used the jizzball.
Ted: What jizzball?
[Ben's classroom. Mike finallygets to give his lecture.]
Michael: The male figure has been worshipped fromMichelangelo's David all the way to Captain Astro.
[There's even a slide show behind him, showing variouscomic book heroes.]
Michael: The strength and musculare... [he stopps] ofthe... of the...
[Ben nods at him reassuringly. Mike gives his head ashake and sighs.]
Michael: I'm sorry, you know what? I haven't a clue h*m* in literature means, I just know that TheFlash looks good in tights. I start reading Flash andSuperman and Captain America when I was just a kid. Atfirst, because it was fun. I liked the stories, and Iliked the pictures. It was a great escape from all theshit -- uh, sorry, the stuff that was bugging me. And mymom didn't want me to read them. But later at I'mrealised that... later as I'm realised that I was gay Iread them for a different reason. Because, in ways thatmaybe were not intended, these superheroes were a lotlike me. You know, at work they were meek andunderappreciated. They were the guys that never getlaid... [students laughs] And when they're around otherpeople, they can't let anybody get too close for fearthat their true identities would be discovered. Withinall the villians and the monsters and the evil forcesthat are trying to destroy them somehow they're survived.Even the one thing that can k*ll Superman, one thingwhich he has no immunity, cryptonit, altermately you knowthat he'll survive that and he'll go on and safe theworld. I believe the same about us. That's what thecomics have shown me -- that despite everything, we'llsurvive. And we'll win. But back to the guy in thetights. [class laughs and so Ben.]
[It's raining in Pittsburgh, andJustin shows up on Debbie's doorstep, drenched to thebone.]
Debbie: Sunshine! What are you doin' here?
Justin: You haven't rent my old room, yet?
Debbie: No, come in here.
[Cut to Brian at Woody's.]
Debbie: Hasn't the kid went through enough that you causehim more pain?
Brian: Stay out of it!
Debbie: The f*ck I will! I care about him, all you careabout is you're...
Brian: ...getting my dick sucked. I think that form isestablished. Now Debbie move on from there.
Debbie: Look, all I want is...
Brian: ...to interfere?
Debbie: You can call whatever the f*ck you want. I don'twant Justin hurt.
Brian: Well, that's life, isn't it? Surprise!
Debbie: You think you have everybody fooled, don't ya?But not me, honey. I've known you too long. Andregrettably, too well. And no matter how hard you triedto deny it I can tell you care as much about him as hecares about you. Only you haven't the big hairy ball tosay it.
Brian: Oh, maybe I can borrow your's?
Debbie: Whatever it takes. To admit that you love him.And I know you do. Despite all your efforts to never letanother heart touch yours, that assume you have one. Thatlittle persistent kid has somehow gotten under the wire.And that's what happen, huh? Admit the truth. You lovehim, don't ya? [Pause] I though so. Then tell him. Tellhim what you could never say to Michael.
[Babylon!]
Ted: Hey, how about a drink after this hard day work?
[Ted hands out flyers for the website to all the Hotties,one of whom is checking Emmett out.]
Em: What that incredible cute guy crusing me?
Ted: Not just cruising. He's in maximum overdrive.
Man#1: Excuse me, what that you today on the website?
Ted: Oh yeah, it was. And come back and see him onJerkAtWork.net soon.
Man#1: You're performance was really inspiring. You mindsigning this for me?
Em: Oh, ok. To Christopher. Thanks for being such...a bigfan..I hope I can live up to it. All my best...love andluck...Emmett. Honeycutt.
Man#1: Wow, thanks.
[The man leaves them.]
Ted: My little star. We've get you a p*rn name.
Em: What's wrong with Emmett Honeycutt?
Ted: No, p*rn lore has it that you're supposed to takethe name of your childhood pet, and add the street thatyou grew up on.
Em: My favourite mutch w*r Fetch.
Ted: And the street?
Em: We live at the corner of Nathan and Dixon.
Ted: Fetch Dixon. A star is...p*rn.
[The Happy Fun Bedroom. Lindsayflips through another bridal magazine. She decides tocheck out that issue of Oui instead, and flips straightto Melanie's pictures. Melanie eventually catches Lindsaymasturbating to them.]
Mel: I though you didn't like p*rn.
Lindsay: And I like even less thinking about all thosestrange men, and even a few women, looking at you.
Mel: It was a long time ago before I knew you.
Lindsay: Why you didn't have ever told me?
Mel: It's not something really boost about. I practicallyforget about it.
Lindsay: I doesn't like having any secrets. There aren'tmore, are there?
[Mel shakes her head and pulls off her t*nk top.]
Mel: I swear. What about you?
Lindsay: Well, there was that time I was a hooker inAlaska. But that was only a summer job.
Mel: I used to have a pretty hot bod.
Lindsay: You still do.
Mel: Why settle for a magazine when you can have the realthing?
[Babylon! In grainy black andwhite, no less. From the balcony, Brian watches Justinmake out with an Hottie on the dance floor.]
Brian: Hey.
Justin: Hey.
Brian: [to the hottie] Hey, f*ck off!
Justin: What do you want?
Brian: You were right. The reason I took you in was thatyou took a bat to the head. But that's not the reasonthat I want you to stay. But don't get the idea we'resome married couple. Cause we're not. We're not, like,f*cking straight people. We're not like you're parents.And we're not a parent d*ke marching on the fareways.We're queers, and if we're together, it's because we wantto be, not because there's matching locks on our doors.So if I'm out just assume I'm doin' exactly what I wantto doin'. I'm f*cking. And when I come home, I'm alsodoing what I want to be doing. Coming home to you.
Justin: OK, I want some things too. You can f*ck whoeveryou want, as long as it is not twice. Same for me. And nonames or numbers exchanged. And no matter where you are,no matter what you're doin' you always come home. Say 2.
Brian: 4.
Justin: 3 AM. One more thing. You don't kiss anyone elseon the mouth but me.
[In response, Brian gives him a big old heartstopper of akiss.]
[At Ben's home. Ben brings Mike abeer, and a book.]
Michael: Thanks.
Ben: Oh, I've got something else for ya.
Michael: R-U-1-2? R-U-1-2, I get it! You're wrote this?You wrote a book?
Ben: Yes, yes, it's me first and last novel. Which thereviewer called "a noble effort from a fresh newvoice." There was on the remainder table soonafterward.
Michael: I didn't nobody who wrote a book before.
Ben: Open it.
Michael: "To Michael. Beneath his mild-manneredappearance beats the heart of a superhero. Ben." Idon't know what to say.
[He gives Ben a hug.]
Ben: So, where were we?
Michael: About this.
[They start making out. Kissing. Unbuttoning each other'sshirts. Pants. But Ben suddenly pulls away! Mike'sconfused.]
Ben: Hey, hey, Michael. Wait a minute.
Michael: What for?
Ben: I just want you to know that... I'm HIV-positive.
End. | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x06 - Mixed Blessings"} | foreverdreaming |
[The Dungeon. On a computermonitor, Emmett jerks off violently.]
Ted: 950, 975, 980, 985, 990, 995, 997, 998, 1000.
[He comes.]
Ted: 1003! Yes sir! Over one thousand self-satisfiedcustomers! And we're out.
[As Emmett wipes himself off and puts on a robe, Tedbrings over a bottle of water and straightens the bed.]
Ted: OK, you will take ten then you start round three.
Emmett: I don't know if I can do. Honey, my dick's downfor the count!
Ted: Listen now, you've got a lot of fans out there whowanna see you for the record.
Emmett: The record?
Ted: Set by the legendary Peter Pounder. He once came sixtimes in forty-five minutes.
Emmett: Six times in forty-five minutes? I've been ableto do it since I was eighteen.
Ted: Well, don't you worry you're pretty little dickabout it. Twice in thirty minutes is very...respectable.
Emmett: Respectable? Rev up the webcam, boys! We're goingfor the gold.
Ted: What a boy champ! And we're on.
[The comic-book store. Debbie'sbrought lunch.]
Deb: I made you sausage and peppers. And I don't hear agoddamn word about it!
Michael: You're kidding me? If it wasn't for you, I'dprobably starve to death.
Deb: As a mother of a future captain of industry, Icouldn't very well let that happen.
Michael: There just a problem, Mom. I'm not exactly gonnabecome a Millionere for selling comics.
Deb: Everybody has to start somewhere, sweetheart. Andyou've started. That's what important. I'm so proud ofyou, Michael. You've turn out to be quit a man. Sureyou're food.
[Ben comes in.]
Michael: Hey.
Ben: Uh, I was in the neighborhood. You left this in myplace.
Deb: His place? I didn't know you were getting laid. Goodfor you! I'm his mother.
Ben: Yes, I remember.
Deb: Oh, he remembers me.
Michael: You're a little hard to forget. And for you'reinformation I didn't get laid.
Deb: Oh, too bad. Well... I've go back to the diner. It'snice to see you again. Better luck this time. Bye.
[Deb leaves the store.]
Ben: That is some kind of mother you've got there.
Michael: You don't know the half of it.
Ben: Well, I like to. I will know all about you.
Michael: Stop it. You're going to make me blush. Which,after growing up with her, you'd think was impossible.
Ben: I also wanna see how you are after last night. Aftermy big announcement. 'My name is Ben, I'm thirty-three,Pisces, I love the outdoors and I'm HIV-positive.' Istill figured out I drop that b*mb gracefully.
Michael: It's only the first time it's come up withsomeone that I'm interested in.
Ben: Interested as still interested? Well that's good.Because some guys they rush through the door. Seeking andfreaked out.
Michael: Please. Right after my mother told me I was gay,she gave this big safe sex lecture. I knew how to put acondom on a cucumber before I knew how to drive.
Ben: I was going to ask you out tonight, but now I'm notso sure...I
Michael: Why not?
Ben: Well, Michael keep as a cucumber is a lot to live upto.
[They laughs.]
[Happy Fun Garage. Melanie andLeda are checking out Mel's car. Leda's under the hoodand shakes her head.]
Mel: What do you say, doc? She gonna live?
Leda: You've got grief in the gearbox, baby. Just like mylove life.
Mel: So how much do we look at it?
Leda: It's wouldn't be cheap.
Mel: Ah, shit!
[Lindsay pushes Gus up the driveway in his stroller.]
Lindsay: Language! You trying to turn our Gus into atrash mouth?
Leda: Like mommy, like son.
Mel: Leda says we're looking at some major repairs.
Lindsay: Oh no, just when we did have enough money savedfor the wedding.
Mel: We'll have to cut a few corners. Like printing an inietationson the computer.
Lindsay: I'm not havin' some tacky announcement.
Mel: Fine, we can walk through the ceremony.
Lindsay: There must be some other way.
Mel: Forget my mom. The Early Bird special was hatched inher honor.
Leda: What about you're folks?
[Mel laughs.]
Lindsay: What?
Mel: Honey, you're a d*ke, you're marrying a Jew, andyou're a registered Democrat. Need I say more?
Lindsay: Well, we're bring it up to the dinner tonight.
Mel: I though you're didn't wanna go.
Lindsay: Now we have a reason to.
Mel: I don't want you begging them for money.
Lindsay: I'm not begging. They paid for all three of mysister's weddings, they can f*cking chip in for ours.
Mel and Leda: Language!
[Man locker room.]
Ted: So is everyone up for Babylon tonight?
Michael: I-I can't. I've got inventory tonight.
Brian: I thought inventory was the last week in themonth.
Michael: It is when you have a business it's on his feet.But when you start it out...
Ted: Oh, who is he? Who is he?
Michael: Nobody!
Brian: I think it's that teacher.
Michael: He is a professor, not a teacher.
Brian: The professor.
Ted: So, what does that make you, Mary Ann or Ginger?
Brian: So, when we took to meet him?
Michael: Never.
Ted: What? Is something wrong with him?
Michael: What's wrong with you? I want like this one tolive before my best friends devour him!
[Emmett makes his entrance in from the shower, and isimmediately accosted by a Fetch Dixon fan.]
Fan#1: Hey, you're Fetch Dixon, aren't you?
Emmett: Uh, yes. Yes.
Fan#1: I'm a huge fan. Not as huge as you.
Emmett: Thank you, that's-that's so nice.
Fan#1: Could I see it? You know, for a second.
Ted: No, no, no. I'm sorry. If you want to sample themerchandise, you have to sign up for JerkAtWork.net.
Emmett: [to Michael] That's the third time today.
Michael: Emmett is a star.
Brian: His dick's a star. He's just the life-supportsystem.
Michael: Careful, or he'll get a swelled head.
Ted: Hey, save it for the website.
Emmett: Would y'all just stop? I'm not a star. I'm stilllittle ole me, just a plain ole country boy fromMississippi. Giving my friend Teddy a helping hand.
[Dinner with the Petersons.Nancy, Linds mother, Ron, Linds father.]
Nancy: And the way Lynette's been hinting, I think I maybe a grandmother soon!
Lindsay: You're already are. In case you're forgot.
Nancy: I know, dear.
Mel: Mrs.Peterson that necklace is so beautiful. Is thatfrom red coral from Bali?
Nancy: Oh, yes. Have you been?
Mel: No, actually my aunt that owns a jewelry store.
Nancy: Lynette got it on her honeymoon.
Ron: Don't ask which.
Lindsay: We decided to skip our honeymoon for right now.You know, because of all the expenses?
Ron: We're out of rolls.
Nancy: We should have gone to Chez Denis over on theriver. Duncan took Lynette there on Saturday, and theyhad a lovely meal.
Lindsay: We're thinking about having Chez Denis cater thereception.
Nancy: Isn't that too expensive?
Lindsay: No more expensive than the caterer Lynette usedfor each of her weddings, all the three times.
Ron: You've got to admit she's constant.
Lindsay: Besides getting married these days is anexpensive position. No matter what you do. That's whywe're hoping that... you might be able to help us out.
Nancy: [to Ron] When you see the waiter ask him for somewater.
Lindsay: We were handling in all by ourselves but wecould use some assistants. No matter how small. Anythingwould be helpful.
Nancy: Honey...
Lindsay: You help her with her wedding!
Nancy: That's different.
Lindsay: Why is it different?
Nancy: Because her wedding was real. Yours...well, Idon't know what yours is.
[The Park. Mike and Ben walk andtalk past smooching couples.]
Michael: I finished you book.
Ben: Oh, yeah? So, 'how did you like it,' the insecurewriter asks, trying desperately to sound nonchalant.
Michael: I didn't. I loved it. Especially that part wherethe Customs officials in Thailand confiscated your HIVmeds.
Ben: Oh, yeah. This was one of the worst days of my life.But as they say, out of adversity comes knowledge. I'velearned to put my fears aside and just find serenity inthe chaos.
Michael: I wish I can do that. I think I do the opposite.I could find chaos in serenity with my eyes closed.
Ben: The secret is to stop regretting the past, andfearing the future. And just live in the now.
Michael: Sounds like my mom would say. She always says,"If you've got one foot in the future, and one inthe past, then you'll piss on today." Actually shesaid shit but I want to clean it up before...
Ben: [laughs] Actually you'r mom and Buddha had a lot incommon.
Michael: What, they're both Jenny Craig dropouts?
Ben: No, no. Uh, he teaches you to focus on the smallestdetails. The way the breeze feels against your cheek. Theway your shirt falls against your body. To feel someone'shand on your back. It helps you realize that this momentis all there is.
Michael: Well, if that's true, then we should probablytake advantage of it.
Ben: Yeah.
[They kiss each other.]
Michael: Where we goin'?
Ben: To experience The Now.
[Babylon! Ted's doing somerecruiting on the dance floor.]
Ted: I've got an eye for this and I can tell you have alot of talent. Really big talent. [he gives him hiscard.] If you need an extra cash in you're spare time?Just give me a call. We'll set up an audition.
Man: OK, thanks man.
[Ted goes back to Brian and Justin at the bar.]
Brian: Hey, p*rn King. Why don't you introduce me to someof your new friends?
Ted: Anytime, Brian.
[Ted grabs his beer off the bar. That's when Justinnotices the Rolex on Ted's wrist.]
Justin: It that a Rolex?
Ted: Yes, it is. All those years seeing those wealthyclients come in with their big cars and their fancyjewelry. There I was this dumb jerk in a cubicle, hunchedover a computer making them rich. Now it's my turn.
[Emmett makes his way through the crowd, hailed, pinchedand prodded at every turn. Finally he reaches the bar.]
Emmett: Ultimately, it's all so empty. You know, at theend of the night, you still go home alone. [A beautipassing and giving Emmett The Look has anything to sayabout it.] But not tonight. [He follows him.]
Ted: Wow, wow, wow. What you're thinking you doin'? Youhave a big day tomorrow.
Emmett: So?
Ted: So, you need to confirm you're strength. And no moredrinking and eating peanuts. You'll gain weight. Now gohome, get some sleep. That's an order.
[Brian and Justin can't believe what they're hearing. Andthen, before their very eyes, Ted tries to"recruit" the guy that Emmett was going after!Emmett's mouth drops open in shock. ]
Brian: So Mr. Producer gets to go home with the hottie,and the p*rn star has to go home alone?
Emmett: He's right. I need to conserve my strength.
Brian: Let me see your wrist. That's a stunning watch youwear.
Emmett: I'm not wearing a watch.
Brian: Wow, Emmett, you really observe it. He's got aRolex. Better hurry home and starting you're beauty rest.
[EnterMike and Ben. Ben gazes at the melee in glee, as goldglitter falls around them. He has the biggest, bestsmile.]
Michael: I thought when you said you wanted to experiencethe now, that you meant something spiritual.
Ben: I did. That tribe I've been it in New Guinea withdance until I collapse. It's how they freed themselvesfrom their bodies, from time. I just like it. The lightshow is a striking resemblance to that ritual.
[Ben takes off his shirt. And everyone is happy. Bendrags Mike into the middle of the floor, and the two ofthem boogie down.]
Justin: There is Michael with some Hottie.
Ted: Hey, Michael(!) Over here!
Michael: Oh, oh, we've been spotted. I have to warn you.My friends can be a little...
Ben: Judgmental? Vicious? Condescending?
Michael: You've meet them?
[They goin' over to them.]
Michael: Ben, this is Ted, Justin and Brian.
Ben: Nice to meet you.
Brian: I though you've got to inventory.
Michael: I was.
Ted: You look aweful familiar. Have we meet?
Ben: I goin' to Jale, undergrad .
Michael: Ben wrote a book "R-U-1-2".
Ted: That's why I recognize you. I saw you're interviewin The Advocate. I rent out to brought one.
Ben: [laughs] So, you were the one.
Ted: Come on, you got great reviews. It was so honest, soforthright, so...revealing.
Ben: Yeah, well, that's what we writers do -- we sort ofcut ourselves open and bleed all over the page.
Michael: I though you're here to dance.
[They walk to the dance floor.]
Justin: He's really hot.
Brian: He's alright.
Ted: Looks, brains, he's a nice guy, too. I'd say he'sperfect, except for one thing. He's positive.
[Some bakery. A large weddingcake sits on top of the counter. Melanie brings a plateof pastries over to Lindsay, who mopes pathetically attheir table.]
Mel: I've got you a croissant.
Lindsay: I don't want a croissant.
Mel: You loved croissants.
Lindsay: I said I don't want, so drop it!
[Melanie picks the croissant up and drops it on thefloor.]
Lindsay: I didn't mean this.
Mel: I wish you drop it too. You're on charming mood.
Lindsay: Oh, I've should never asked them!
Mel: So you did. They said no. Now it's over. C'mon,let's go and look at wedding cakes.
Lindsay: What for? We can't afford one. Maybe if we'recareful we can save up for dinner.
Mel: Look, we're find money to pay for it.
Lindsay: It's not about the money. It's about...
Mel: Love? You want them to show you the same attentionthat they show Lynette.
Lindsay: Yeah...
Mel: Maybe we have to prove more afford. We've neverreally asked them over to see how we live. Meet ourfriends. Which makes us same guilty as they are.
Lindsay: So, what are we do?
Mel: We invited them over and throw a little party.
Lindsay: You aren't serious!
Mel: If they could see that we're a real family, with areal life, just like your sister, then they might feeldifferently. Hey, it least for a sh*t!
[They get up and go for the wedding cake.]
Woman: May I show you something?
Mel: We'd like to look at wedding cakes.
[Liberty Diner. Emmett, Brian,Mike and Ted share a booth.]
Michael: I'm positive. It was the first thing out of hismouth.
Brian: After your dick.
Ted: It's commendable that he told you. But it stilldoesn't change the fact that you playing with f*re! Imean what if the condom breaks? Or his flossing his teethin his gums booth.
Brian: Or if he sh**t his load and you're bending overto tie your shoe, and it accidentally flies up your ass.
[Michael laughs.]
Ted: Christ, Brian, do you have to make a joke out ofeverything? Especially your best friend's safety!
Michael: I know how be saved!
Ted: No, you think you do. We all do. It's not just beingcareful, it's living with death. Knowing that Ben hassomething inside of him that could k*ll him. And if youhave just one little f*ck-up, one moment offorgetfulness, one little mistake, it could k*ll you,too.
Emmett: I think you're little melodramatic, Teddy. Theyare plenty of guys who boyfriend are positiv.
Ted: These people aren't Michael. And you weren't f*ck easygoing when you thought you might be infected.
Michael: Look, I appreciate you're concern. But you'retalking about Ben like he's the disease and not a person.And if you were seeing someone that you cared about who'spositiv, I think you would feel differently.
Ted: No, I'm sorry, I know it's not politically corrector even nice, but I wouldn't do it, no matter how much Iliked the guy.
[Debbie walks up with a fresh pot of coffee. She'swearing a t-shirt that proclaims, "Some people arejust too white"]
Debbie: Wouldn't do what, honey?
Emmett: We're talking about dating someone who'spositive.
Debbie: That's a hell of an attitude. And I've got to saythat I'm surprised to hear that from one of you,considering all the guys you f*ck.
Ted: Yeah, numbers may vary from person to person. [helooks at Brian. Brian sticks his tongue out at him.]
Debbie: I mean one of you could be positive too. And thereason you're not isn't because you're always careful. Iknow g*dd*mn well that isn't true. You're lucky. [she'slooking at Brian.] You're f*ck' lucky. So don't tell meyou couldn't love somebody just because they're not asfortunate as you are. More reason to, if you ask me!
Michael: Thank you mother.
Debbie: What for honey?
Michael: Ben's positive.
[Debbie's holding on to the smile, she ties...]
Debbie: So, need you guys anything else?
[The Dungeon. Ted preps the bedfor Emmett's arrival. Emmett strolls in wearing a longbrown leather trench coat, a fugly patchwork scarf, andbrown aviator glasses.]
Ted: You're on in 5 minutes. Where have you been?
Emmett: Oh, preparing a list.
Ted: Well, you can do you're grocery shopping list later,okay?
Emmett: It's a kind of a list.
[Em holds the piece of paper out. Ted rolls his eyes,grabs it.]
Ted: "Private dressing room with toilet. Rotatingbed. Ten percent of gross profits." What the f*ck isthis?
Emmett: Oh, this called artist's demands.
Ted: "Lube"? What's wrong with the lube?
Emmett: That grease is so cheap, you could fry chicken init.
Ted: This is a joke, right?
Emmett: No, this is not humor. Oh, don't forget that one.That's kind of my favorite.
Ted: You're name over the bed.
Emmett: Well, I'm the star. Star gets top billing. Youcan use just Fetch. You know like Cher. All turn uptwinkle lights so my fans can see when you pull back fora long sh*t.
Ted: Well, excuse me, Cher, but there's only one longshot your fans are interested in, so come on. Less yakand more jack.
Emmett: But what about my demands?
Ted: You mean these? Look, Emmett. If it weren't for me,you'd still be moonlighting as a naked maid, buffing inthe buff, trying to pick up a few extra bucks!
Emmett: Yeah, and if it weren't for me, you'd still be apencil pusher, pulling your pud!
Ted: Oh, so I owe all this to you?
Emmett: Mmmh, difficult question. Yes.
Ted: I can replace you whenever I want. Then you will seehow quickly you're fans forget.
Emmett: Really?
Ted: Really. Dicks like you dime a dozen.
Emmett: Well, I tell you what. You find some twinkie with a dinky and see how far you can get. Oh, and when you do... [throw the jizzball.]... Give him this. He's going to need it!
[Debbie's. Debbie deep in her conflicted thoughts, as she dusts the figurines over her fireplace.]
Vic: Last time I saw you cleaning the tchotkes was whenMichael moved away with David.
Debbie: This scene like a g*dd*mn pigsty. That's all.
Vic: Would you stop vindaxing for a second and talk tome?
Debbie: I can't.
Vic: Why not?
Debbie: It's personal.
Vic: What could be personal, after you've wiped my ass?
Debbie: Well, you haven't wiped mine!
Vic: You've already clean that one.
Debbie: [yells] LEAVE ME ALONE!
[It's broken at the floor.]
Debbie: SHIT! Look what you've done!
Vic: I'm sorry. Sis...
Debbie: Get away. [she holds in] This new guy... thatMichael's dating is some... this Ben... He's positive.
Vic: Oh, so?
Debbie: So? I don't want date him with someone who'ssick.
Vic: Who said he's sick?
Debbie: I knew I couldn't talk to you about it.
Vic: So negative people shouldn't be allowed to datepositive people? Is that it?
Debbie: Don't twist my words!
Vic: Then what do you sayin'?
Debbie: He's my son. I don't want him getting anything! Inever thought I'd say this. But for the first time in mylife, I wish my son wasn't gay.
[Michael walked in unnoticed, and heard her say it.]
Vic: You didn't mean that!
Debbie: Not if it means I have to watch him puking, andshitting. And wasting away to nothing.
Vic: I can't listen to you anymore.
Debbie: Do you think I want Michael to end up like you?
[Mike's eyes narrow dangerously. Debbie finally noticesthat her son is in the room. Mike runs upstairs.]
Debbie: Oh, shit. Michael!
[Michael'sroom.]
Michael: I just get some stuff and then I'm outta here.
Debbie: Honey, look Michael. Sweetheart.
Michael: How could you talk that way to Uncle Vic? Youreally hurt him!
Debbie: People say a lot of things when they're upset.And I'm upset. I'm very f*cking upset. And how long youwere going to wait to tell her about Ben?
Michael: I didn't think you care! Especially after thenoble sentiments and hash browns you dishing out at thediner.
Debbie: Alright, I'm going to make you very, very happy.You always wanted a normal mother? Okay, you've got one.I don't want you
dating that guy!
Michael: I don't care what you want! And don't tell mewho to date! I'm 30 years old. Who I date and what I dois none of you're g*dd*mn f*cking business!
[Brian's. Brian and Justin aremaking love.]
Justin: We're really lucky.
Brian: What? Living in this land of empty? Roll over.
Justin: Every time Michael and Ben have sex, think of allthey have to deal with.
Brian: It's Michaels decision. Is that a pimple on you'reass? Right there.
Justin: Were?
[They kiss each other.]
Justin: No matter how long they're together, even if it'sforever, they can never do it raw.
Brian: We're don't either.
Justin: Yeah, but we could... if you want it. I mean,we're both negative.
Brian: You mean, you want me to f*ck you bareback?
Justin: Yes.
Brian: Come inside you're tigh little ass?
Justin: Do it. f*ck me.
Brian: f*ck...yourself.
Justin: What?
Brian: You stupid little twat. Never let anyone f*ck youwithout a condom.
Justin: You're not just anyone.
Brian: Yeah, I'm sure that's what Ben thought about theguy who infected him. [he grabs a condom.] Put it on me.[he f*ck Justin.] I want you safe. I want you around fora long time.
[Happy Fun Brunch. Melanie bringsa big vase of flowers out into the dining room. Leda'spouting on one of the chairs, wearing her usual leatherand denim ensemble, with a handkerchief tied over herhead like Axl Rose. Lindsay walks in with her hair pulledback tightly, wearing a white blouse buttoned up to herchin, a straight brown skirt and brown flats.]
Lindsay: Who do I look?
Mel: Like a f*cking nun. What happened to your tits?
Leda: Who knew my year working in a piercing salon wouldcome in so handy?
[doorbell rings.]
Lindsay: That must be Tasha and her harp!
[She goes to the door and opens. It's Brian.]
Lindsay: I was hoping it was the harp.
Brian: I'm into f*cking, not plucking, and what happenedto your tits? Hey sonnyboy. You're old man here to excudeof them.
Leda: Hi, I'm Leda.
Brian: [he grabs the hors d'oeuvres out of her hand] Uh,Melanie's evil ex.
Leda: And you must be the Anti-Christ. Big fan.
Lindsay: Alright, the baby sitter is coming for Gus thisafternoon. Take him to the park, be careful on theswings. Don't get him dirty. Back by two. And buysomething nice.
Brian: Anything else?
Lindsay: Shave.
Brian: My balls are as clean as a whistle.
Lindsay: Tasha, finally. [to Leda] Can you show herewhere to put it?
[telefon rings.]
Brian: It's too easy.
Mel: We're try to make Lindsay's parent feel at home.
Brian: You should wear of caskets in the living room.
Leda: I say we wear strap-ons. Ever been f*cked by a d*ke a dildo?
Brian: Is that an offer?
Mel: This is really important to Lindsay so could both ofyou keep your f*cking foul mouths shut?
[Lindsay walks back in shocked.]
Lindsay: They don't coming.
Leda: Are we surprised?
Lindsay: Mom said daddy's is over disk. He'll be on hisback for days.
Brian: Oh, that I like to see.
Lindsay: Shut up, Brian!
[The park. Mike and Brian pushGus in a swing.]
Michael: It was like an episode of "TwillightZone".
Brian: My favourite was where you could trade your oldbody for a hot new one.
Michael. She actually said she wished I wasn't gay.
Brian: Well, I'll always be happy that you're a bigqueer.
[Brian kisses Michael on the mouth. A woman passing by.]
Woman: You're two make a beautiful couple. [to Gus] Heydear, aren't you sweet? [to Michael] And you're babylooks just like you.
[she leaves.]
Brian: So sweet. You know she's right.
Michael: What are you talking about? This baby is a spitimage of you.
Brian: I mean Debbie. You know, she's right. You shouldforget Ben.
Michael: What the f*ck do you know?
Brian: Let's see what I know. Advertising and I know you.Those ads you see for the cocktails, with thegreat-looking guys skiing and mountain climbing? Like allyou have to do is pop a little protease inhibitor andyou, too can have the time of your life. But it's justkind of tough to go downhill racing when you havenon-stop diarrhea.
Michael: I can handle it.
Brian: Well, then handle it. Kiss it. Jerk it off. Justdon't fall in love with it.
[The Peterson house. Nancy opensthe door, and there's Melanie, d*ad serious in her blackleather jacket. She stalks past Nancy into the livingroom, where Ron is fully upright and swinging a tennisracket.]
Mel: Mrs.Peterson?
Nancy: Melanie? What a surprise. Unfortunately I'm on myway out...
Ron: George, Barbara is that you?
Mel: Mr.Peterson.
Ron: I was expecting...
Mel: ...someone else? Congratulations on you're speedyrecovery.
Ron: You know what it is with these back things. Oneminute you can't stand up, the next minute...
Mel: ... they mixed doubles.
Nancy: This is very awkward.
Mel: 'Awkward'? That you couldn't come over to our housefor a couple of hours? Lindsay's been working her ass offfor you. Would it have been so f*cking hard to show up?
Nancy and Ron: Language!
Mel: Your excuses are bullshit. All she wants from you isto show her a little support.
Nancy: The only reason you want us to come to you'reparty is you expecting a cheque.
Ron: Nancy, please.
Nancy: Why not admit it?
Mel: Look, I know what you think about me. I'm the slickJew lawyer come to shake you down for a few sheckels. d*ke who corrupted your daughter. Well, you're wrong. I'mLindsay's loving partner, and Gus's adoring mother. And Iknow that I will never cause him the pain that you'vecaused her. He'll never have to wonder whether or not Ilove him.
[Melanie leaves Ron and Nancy staring self-righteously ateach other.]
[Debbie's back yard. She and Vicrake leaves and avoid meeting each other's eyes. Finally,Debbie can't take it anymore.]
Debbie: Are we gonna talk? Or we just gonna rake thewhole g*dd*mn neighbourhood?
Vic: You wanna talk? Talk.
Debbie: You know I didn't mean what I'm said. It couldcome out. I've just had it with this f*cking disease.
Vic: Tell me about it.
Debbie: I know baby. I can't go through it again.
Vic: What makes you think you'll have to? Michael doesn'thave hiv.
Debbie: Ben has. And there's nothing in his life thatwon't be affected by it. Including Michael. And whataffects Michael affects me.
Vic: The same they said about marriage. You don't justget them, you get the whole damn family.
Debbie: Well, I'm not so crazy about the in-laws.
[Vic laughs.]
Debbie: I know they have safe sex. What if somethinghappens? What if Michael comes to us and he says I've gotit. What do we do?
Vic: First we die. And then we deal with it.
[The Happy Fun Mausoleum. AsTasha plays the harp. Lindsay and Melanie mope on thesofa.]
Lindsay: This party sucks.
Mel: I've prefer to think about it as mellow.
Lindsay: I'm gonna upstairs and swallow a bottle ofXanax.
Mel: Good idea.
[In the kitchen, Justin complains that the flowers aretriggering his allergies.]
Justin: f*cking flowers make my allergy grow.
Brian: Well, that's a good reason to leave.
Leda: And leave me alone with the ladies who munch? Noway.
Brian: Well, in this case there's only one thing we coulddo.
[He pulls a bag of Ecstasy out of his back pocket. Out inthe dining room, Emmett circles the table.]
Emmett: Well, I can honestly say there isn't one thinghere that I would put in my mouth.
[At the opposite end of the table is Ted.]
Ted: That's a first.
Emmett: Excuse me?
Ted: [replies] This food's the worst.
[Michael stands in the middle at the table.]
Emmett: Oh, did I tell you Michael that I received avery, very lucrative offer from CocksRUs.net.
Michael: Why no. I made you didn't.
Ted: Did I tell you Michael about my new star? Dick Long.Not only lives up to, but surpasses his name.
Michael: Don't say...
Emmett: You can tell Mr. Schmidt, if you happen to seehis wizened countenance, that he still owes me my lastpaltry paycheck.
Ted: And you can tell Mr. Honeycutt, whose ass has moretreadmarks than a steel-belted radial, that if he doesn'tcome and pick up his personal effects, his dildos will bedonated to charity.
Michael: Why didn't you tell each other to yourself? Whydon't you both apologize for acting like a couple ofidiots?
Ted: I've the one who created him!
Emmett: He would be out of business if it weren't fromme?
Ted: You could show a little gratitude!
Emmett: And you could show a little generosity!
Michael: And you both can show a little more maturity.
Ted and Emmett: It's not of you g*dd*mn business. Get outof it!
[Brian mixes the E in the punch bowl, then goes up to thebedroom. Lindsay's all morose on the bed. Brian jumps upnext to her.]
Brian: Enjoying the view?
Lindsay: God! Go away!
Brian: Make me! Your party really sucks.
[She pulls her hair out of a bun and unbuttons hershirt.]
Lindsay: So, it a little established if you've beenpaying attention.
Brian: You really give a shit what they've think?
Lindsay: Their my parents, Brian. [She grabs the jointout of Brian's hand] I know I shouldn't care. I shouldn'tlet them hurt me. It's not my job to please them. To makethem happy.
Brian: You remember... what's his name? Billy theAsshole's birthday party junior year.
Lindsay: Were Rebecca dumped me?
Brian: Those were the days.
Lindsay: Jesus, this is supposed to cheer me up. I was awreck.
Brian: Not for long.
Lindsay: Thanks to you putting E in the punch...loosewomen...and the B-52s.
Brian: Those who don't learn their lessons are condemnedto repeat their courses.
[And from downstairs, they hear "Love Shack"start to play.]
[It'slouder in the living room. Much louder. Everyone'shalf-naked, tripping out, and having a great time. Ledadecides it's time to ride Justin like a pony. The boy'slaughing too hard to mind. Lindsay busts up when shecomes downstairs, and Leda grins.]
Leda: The bitch is back.
[Melanie's stripped down to a t*nk top and orders Lindsayto dance with her. Emmett pushes through the crowd on hisway out the door. Leda's got a blue dildo strapped on.]
Leda: How do you like it?
Brian: Is the offer still stands?
[Mike's just a little weirded out by that. Leda makesJustin suck on the dildo. As Mel's swinging Lindsay intoa dip, Ron and Nancy walk in the door.]
Lindsay: Mom! Daddy!
Nancy: You call this brunch?
Mel: Hey, how about some punch?
Lindsay: Mel, no. Uh, I though you weren't coming?
Nancy: We changed our minds. And from the look of things,we shouldn't have.
Lindsay: But we're having some fun.
Nancy: You call this fun?
Lindsay: Well, maybe not you're idea of fun, but yes.Everyone like to meet my parents? Our guest of honor.
[Everyone waves happily at Ron and Nancy.]
Nancy: We don't need an introduces. We're not staying.C'mon Ron.
Lindsay: You know, the whole point of this party was toprove that we're just like you, so you'd accept us. LikeI'd tried to accept you.
Nancy: I didn't realised that I need it to be accept it.
Lindsay: You're right, Mom, you don't. Neither do we.
[The Dungeon. Ted's going overthe books when Emmett walks in.]
Emmett: I come for my personal effects.
Ted: I have you're cheque.
Emmett: I'll be as quick as I can.
Ted: Emmett, I...
Emmett: Let's not say anything more. We've both made ourpositions painfully clear.
[Emmett pulls his things off a rack nearby -- featherboa, gold scarf, leather harness, dildoes.]
Ted: I, uh, you're fans are gonna miss you.
Emmett: Well, I'm sure Dick Long will help them forget.
Ted: Actually, he's only a Dick Medium. You're by far mybiggest attraction.
Emmett: I suppose I do owe my fame -- such as it is --and my fortune -- such as it isn't -- to you.
Ted: 5 %.
Emmett: It's a very generous offer, Teddy, but it's notjust about the money. I mean for me it's always gonna bethe art.
[Ted grabs a bag from the table and hands it over.]
Ted: The finest lubricant. Water soluble. Heated toninety-eight point six degrees.
Emmett: I appreciate the gesture.
[Ted walks over to a curtain separating the bed from therest of the Dungeon. He pulls a rope and the curtaincomes down, revealing the round velvet-covered bed. Redvelvet covering the wall. Ted claps his hands and a redneon sign reading "Fetch" clicks on over thebed.]
Ted: I'm so sorry I underestimating you. You're more thanjust an enormous dick. You're my friend.
Emmett: And you're mine!
[They hug each other.]
Ted: So, what do you say?
Emmett: I'm ready for my close up, Mr.Schmidt.
[Ben's flat. He and Michaels makeout at the sofa.]
Michael: Condoms?
Ben: Bathroom.
Michael: OK.
[Mike opens the medicine cabinet and stops short. Cut tothe inside of the cabinet, filled with row upon rows ofdrug bottles. Many, many bottles. Reality bites. Mikefinally spots the condom box stuck between two bottles.And stares at all the bottles again. So many drugs Benhas to take so he won't get sick like Mike's uncle. Benwalks in.]
Ben: Find them?
Michael: Yeah. [Pause] I can't do this.
Ben: You're right. I try.
Michael: No, I mean I can't.
[Mike and Ben's faces are right next to each other. Benpulls back a little, and his eyes go wide with hurt.]
Michael: I though I could, that I can handle it but Ican't. Sorry.
Ben: Don't apologize. It's, uh, better to find out now.Before someone gets hurt.
[Black screen. Sound of the condom box being put back in the cabinet. Ending Credits without music.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x07 - The Leper (Hath the Babe Not Eyes?)"} | foreverdreaming |
[Liberty Avenue. Mikes talksvoice-over.]
Michael: "I walked on Liberty Avenue I don't knowhow many times checking out the guys and join their viewand who are proud them?"
[Mikey sheepishly walking, glaring at the pants of othermen. But as he walks, every guy looks like Ben. He's Benfor a moment, and then not Ben again.]
Michael: "It wasn't until I meet him. Are I'm goincrazy?"
[Cut to the a fency restaurant. Apiano's playin'. In the shadows we see Harry Benick, Jrsinging.]
Michael: "I'm just feeling a little vulnerable,that's all since Ben and I broke up. But I'll be oversoon enough since 'Pittsburgh: Man-to-Man'"
[Michael's first date - Barry, late twenties. Of coursefat and stuffing food into his mouth.]
Barry: Hi, this is Barry. I'm in late twenties. I loveeat out. I would said I'm a well-rounded guy. Can youpass the butter?
[Michael's second date is Marcus. A insurance salesman.]
Marcus: Hi guys, I'm Marcus. A motivated businessprofessional with clearly defined goals. When you'reready to a longterm commitment, call me. I'll be thoughabout life insurance.
[Michael's third date.]
Ed: Hey, I'm Ed. Great body and great personality.Looking to pamper that special someone.
[He's showing Michael a pampers. Michael tilts back hisdrink with an audible gulp.]
[Liberty Diner. Michael and Tedare siting at the counter.]
Michael: He wanted to diamper me.
Ted: Aaah, poor baby. What did you expect from a thirtysecond voice personal?
Michael: Honest. I didn't lie into my ad.
[Debbie comes. She starts laughing at her son.]
Debbie: Much.
Michael: You called and listen to my ad?
Debbie: It's a free country. "Hey, it's Mike. Cute.Swimmer build. Boy-next-door type.
[Mikey tries to leave, but Ted brings him back so theycan continue the speech.]
Ted: Sounds good.
Debbie: You also added a couple of extra inches. To hisheight. But I was very pleased to hear that you areversatile, and not a total bottom.
Ted: Oh, sounds even better!
Debbie: Can I be interjected just one word of motherlyadvice?
Michael: Interject away.
Debbie: You're never get a boyfriend from voice mail. Ifyou're really, really meet somebody go and see my friend.
Ted: Ida Pearlsteam, matchmaker. I could make a lot oftrite musical theatre references right now. But I won't.
Michael: You're friends are freaks, ma. I'm not gonna setup by someone the enter.
Debbie: Michael, see those lovebirds over there? Idafixed them up. They celebrating their third! Don't theylook happy?
Ted: Or heavily medicated? Now, I say try 'Adam and SteveInternet Date'. "See what you're getting before youget it." "Weed out the f*ck."
Michael: Dating services? Matchmakers? That's allbullshit. The next guy that walked through that door isthe man I'm gonna live with the rest of my life.
[All three looking very excited to the door. Emmett walksthrough the door.]
Emmett: Oh Michael, here you are. Rent check due today,sweety.
[He grabs the newspaper from Ted.]
[Brian's loft. Brian dresses on.The newest trick comes out of the bedroom.]
Guy: Up for another go-round?
Brian: Things are tight.
Guy: When can I see you again?
Brian: Strong policy. No guarantee. No return.
Guy: Then I just take what I can get.
[He tries to kiss Brian.]
Brian: No good then.
Guy: Let me guess. A boyfriend? [Brian opens the door.]Huh, I though so. I was in those arragnment ones. Theproblem is you leave you're door open and you never knowswho's coming in or out.
Brian: You mind taking the stairs?
Guy: Cutting it a little close, aren't you?
[Justinand his mom arrive in the elevator just as the trickdisappears down the stairs.]
Justin: Hey.
Jen: We're here!
Brian: And not a moment too soon.
Jen: You can't believe what sales we have it.
[Justin kisses Brian at the mouth. Finally he smiles.]
Brian: Looks like you picked up a few things.
Justin: You too.
Jen: I just sold the house! So, I decided to splurge andbuy my son some new clothes.
[Justin leaps over the couch and pulls a condom wrapperfrom behind the cushions.]
Justin: I'm the way too old shopping with my mother.
Brian: Not unless she's payin'. I hope you remember tobuy him some rubbers.
[Justin inspects the sheets. Justin finds a pair ofunderwear.]
Brian: For those rainy days.
[Justin hides the underwear behind his back as his motherholds up a sweater for him to inspect.]
Jen: Hey look, you can wear this to Daphne's party.
Justin: I'm not going to the hetero hop with a bunch ofbeer-chugging breeders.
Jen: Justin! You've gotta get out there and meet friendsyour own age. [to Brian] Nothing personal.
Brian: Oh no, I agree. Youth should be savored.
[Justin's sniffing something he found on the floor.]
Jen: I will not be damage you, but believe me before thatI did some pity wild thing.
[Justin throws the cum cloth at Brian's head as Jenniferducks down to get more clothing.]
Brian: That must run in the family.
Jen: OK, I gonna pick up you're sister.
[She wraps her arm around Justin's waist.]
Jen: Sweetheart. College is going to be the best time ofyour whole life. I just... I so excited for you.
Justin: So am I. Bye.
[He brings Jen to the door. He closes the door. They kissand fall back on the couch.]
Justin: How was he?
Brian: Not bad.
Justin: What did he look like?
Brian: Guess.
[Justin starts sniffing Brian's neck.]
Justin: 5'11''.
[He sniffs Brian's stomach.]
Justin: Medium build, black hair, brown eyes. Smolderinggood looks.
Brian: That's very good.
Justin: What did you doin'? You f*cked him, he suckedyou? Tell me.
Brian: Why are I show you?
[Emmett is in full army gear,jacking off on his rotating cushion bed. Emmett continuesthe G.I. Fetch thing up.]
Emmett: Up to soldier! b*mb away! Ready...Aim...f*re!
[Ted watches mouth agape as Emmett orgasms for quite sometime. Emmett falls exhausted as Ted applauds.]
Ted: Bravo! Fetch Dixon do another stunning display ofmen power.
Emmett: I better expect to give it my all. I have areputation to uphold.
Ted: And judging from all your cards and letters theyloved what you uphold it!
[Ted carries over a box of goodies. Emmett squeals withdelight as he sits down.]
Emmett: "Dear Fetch. I'm sending you this as a tokenof my affection. Please think of me when you usedit."
[It's a big black dildo with a rainbow ribbon tied aroundit.]
Emmett: "Dear Fetch. Could you wear this to the gym,then pop it back into the Self-Addressed StampedEnvelope." Wait, wait, wait.
[He pulls out a tiny box from Tiffany's. It's a big goldbracelet. Big and chunky. It looks like a gold snake.]
Emmett: Oh my god, Teddy look! It's exquisite!
Ted: It must have cost a fortune!
Emmett: Here is a card. "You're a beacon of light inthe sort of gloom of cyberspace. You're secretadmirer."
[Emmett is breathless and near tears.]
Emmett: All my life I wanted a secret admirer. Here, hereup me. Put it on.
Ted: You're not gonna keep it.
Emmett: It's gold! What kind of queen doesn't acceptgold?
Ted: One who's loyal subjects send him giant dildos and asniffin' jockstraps. There lunatics, Emmett. If you letthem into your life they think their you're friends. Andthey never expect you to be there. And you'll never berid of them. So, c'mon!
Emmett: It's so shiny and pretty.
Ted: Take it off.
[Emmett throws a tiny tantrum.]
Emmett: I don't want to.
Ted: Emmett!
[Ted takes the bracelet and walks off with the box ofpresents.]
Ted: Remember, everything in this life comes with stringsattached. Even little white satin ones. I'm sorry.
[Ted leaves the room. Emmett walks back over to theTiffany's box and removes the bracelet and card.]
[Mikey's making a videotapepersonals ad. He's over-enthusiastic and pretty muchMikey, but the videographer isn't pleased with hisperformance.]
Videographer: OK, and we're roling.
Michael: Hi I'm Mike. I'm just a fun guy and I'd love tomeet another fun guys. So call me and we're looking forsome fun.
Videographer: Uh, let's try again, but this time let'shave a little less "fun".
Michael: Less fun... Hey dude, it's Mike. I'm into goodtimes, good friends. You know the good life. Call me. Isthat better?
Videographer: For a beer commercial. But let's try itagain and this time just try to be more... I don'tknow... personal.
Michael: I never knew my father. He was k*lled in Vietnamtwo weeks after I was born. But I somehow managed tosurvive. I dropped the community college and I went towork at the Big Q Mart. That's when my Uncle Vicdelivered that he's dyin' at HIV.
Videographer: Thanks for sharing, but, uh, looking for adate, not a therapist. So, we've got time for one more.Come more positives spin on it.
Michael: Hi, I'm Michael, I'm twenty-nine, honest,sincere, romantic, my own business. I like working out,dancing, going to clubs. I had a great group of friends,I love them to death, but I'm still looking for a certainsomeone...
[The videographer turns into Ben.]
Ben: Who knows that underneath my mild-manneredappearance beats the heart of a superhero.
[It's over. Mikeystop talking.]
Videographer: I'm sorry. What was that?
[Emmett is staring at prettyjewelry through a jewelry store window. He eats some kindof pastry and has his Breakfast at Tiffany's moment untilDebbie showing off her own bracelets.]
Debbie: I swear you can't tell the difference.
[Emmett shows off his new gold thing.]
Emmett: As long as we're comparing.
Debbie: Holy shit. Is that real gold?
Emmett: Almost broke a teeth by testing. My secretadmirer send it to me.
Debbie: Who do you think it is?
Emmett: I know who I like it to be. Dashing the princetoo shy to reveal he has a crush on me. Then he appearsand whisks me off to his palace.
Debbie: Were you live happily ever after.
Emmett: I know it's highely unrealistic. My friends wouldprobably laugh when they heard me.
Debbie: What do they know about love, honey? Most of themare too busy chasing their heart instead of still listento their heart.
Emmett: Still I have this dream of perfection. But I'mkeep on lookin'. Hoping against hope that I'll find it.
Debbie: Well it's a adorabel dream. But I got to tell youEmmett. In most cases that come along in the movies. Andeven then only to Audrey Hudburn. Real love when it comesdoesn't look anything like what you expect.
[A limo pulls up behind them. The driver gets out.]
Driver: Pardon me.
Emmett: Yes?
Driver: You're Fetch, are you not?
Emmett: That's right.
Drive: I've been send to fetch you.
Emmett: Excuse me, you... you epect me to get into a carwith a total stranger and... and drive off God knowswhere? Sorry, but my mother taught me better.
Debbie: Don't look at me, I'm not his mother.
Driver: My employer is expecting you.
Emmett: And who exactly is you're employer?
Debbie: He knows he just say, that he not the liberty tosay.
Driver: I'm not liberty to say.
Debbie: Whaddaya gotta do the rest of the day, wash outyer undies?
[He give his things to Debbie and goes to the Limo.]
[Brian's loft. Mikey is showingoff his videotaped personal ad to Ted, Brian, Lindsay,and Mel.]
Michael: "Hi, I'm Michael, I'm twenty-nine, honest,sincere, romantic, my own business. I like working out,dancing, going to clubs. I had a great group of friends,I love them to death, but I'm still looking for a certainsomeone. If you're looking for some fun, call me.."Well?
Mel: You have an excellent posture.
Ted: Nice shirt.
Lindsay: You're absolutely adorable.
Brian: It's pathetic.
Michael: At least someone is being honest. assh*le. Itwas a complete waste time and money.
Brian: Listen Mikey, you have to sale yourself. You'renot different toothpaste or shampoo. People want sexy andthey want hot.
Ted: You're right. I think I'll reheat that pizza.
Michael: So what I'm supposed to do?
Brian: Don't move.
[Cue the sexy montage! Brian takes pictures of Mike usingsome strange videocamera/flash camera. Mike is lookingvery unsexy
in a wrinkled white t-shirt and jeans. The girls are onthe computer rewriting Mikey's personals ad.]
Lindsay: Let's see. "Nice guy..."
Mel: Make that hot on it.
Lindsay: "Well-rounded."
Brian: Make that well-hung.
Lindsay: "With a spirit affection."
Ted: He like to give it.
Michael: You can't say that.
Brian: Shut up and show us your skin.
[Mikey shoves his hand in his pants for a few of thepictures. He takes off his shirt. He shoves his hand inhis pants and holds the other hand toward the camera.Brian is flirting with the camera, most likely because hecan see the reflection of his own eye in the window. Thescene slows to a crawl as Mikey looks terrified of theapproaching water bottle. Brian dumps water over Mike'shead so Mikey can shake like a puppy. More pictures aretaken.]
Brian: That's the one.
[All together they're looking at the computer.]
Michael: I would date me.
Ted: So do I. You're ready to speaking.
Lindsay: That's not exactly that what I wrote.
Brian: Writers. Complaining every time you change f*ck word.
Mel: You'll be b*at'em that off with a stick.
Ted: Hopefully he don't need a stick.
Brian: So how does it feel, Mikey to be the hottest guyon the Internet?
[Emmett is eating caviar in theback of the limo, talking to himself.]
Emmett: Well in the modern retailing it would be a limo.Delivered food, would be a driver. And Cinderella wouldof course be a f*g rather than a woman since noself-respecting woman would let her in the back of astranger's car lured by jewelry, limo and caviar. ThankGod.
[Emmett stops and stares out the limo window. The houseis indeed a castle.]
Emmett: Oh my God!
[Emmettis led through the mansion.]
Emmett: I would tell I'm not in Texas anymore. In factwe're don't be in Pittsburgh anymore.
Man: Fetch.
[A man calls from the top of the stairs. The lightingchanges. Emmett swoons. It's an older man in a nice suit.He's good looking.]
Emmett: It's him. You're majesty. You're grace. Yourgorgeousness. I receive your bracelet and I'm your's.
Man: I'm the butler, sir.
[The swelling music stops.]
Emmett: Oh.
Man: This way.
[Emmettis led to a drawing room and left alone.]
Emmett: Oh my god! # If They Could See Me Now. # No,no, don't give up. This is much more Masterpiece Theatre.Oh, I'm be honest. "How kind of you to invite me. Ilove what you've done with your place. Do we go to thefire? I love the light. I always wanted to ask you isHarvey your first name or the last?"
[Emmett does a little improve of being rich and importantuntil he sees someone sitting in a chair by the f*re.Emmett jumps, squeals.]
Emmett: Jesus Christ. You're scared me to death. I didn'tknow that anybody was here. I'm Fetch and waiting for themaster.
George: I'm George Schickle. I am the master.
Emmett: You...?
George: I see you received my little present.
Emmett: Oh, yeah.
George: I was on the Internet one day and surfing, Ibelieve this is the word, when I came upon you. Oh my,my, my. You're very talented boy.
Emmett: How a boy!
George: In my age everybody is a boy. Now then, should wediscuss your fee?
Emmett: Fee?
George: For your... services. I have no idea what peoplehave charged, so how will a thousand surface?
Emmett: A...a thousand?
George: Alright, two. Alright, three. You're drive a hardbargain. So what did better? Be hard?
Emmett: Excuse me, Mr.Schickle. But I'm afraid you made amistake. I am not what you think I am a hire. I came hereexpecting... well not important why I came here andexpecting. Exept I didn't find it. Thank you for the giftand for allowing me a few moments to dream. Now if you'llexcuse me.
[Emmett leaves the bracelet and leaves the mansion.]
[Brian and Justin are in theshower. They kiss and clean, kiss and clean. Justinsmiles under the harsh lighting.]
Justin: You want me to f*ck you?
Brian: I want you to wash my back.
[Justin washes Brian's back.]
Justin: Better to move on. The guys are waiting on us.
Brian: You know, maybe you get should some friends onyour age.
Justin: You sound like my mother.
Brian: Sometimes your mommy's right.
Justin: I have friends on my own age. Your at my age,emotionally.
Brian: I mean like Daphne.
Justin: I'm not goin to their party.
Brian: Why? You had something better to do?
Justin: Be with you.
Brian: Your always be with me. You practically are.
Justin: What if I meet some horny frat boy?
Brian: f*ck him for me. Hey, I just want to enjoy youryouth. I certainly have.
[Mike checks his personalsemail.]
Michael: Nineteen guys already.
Ted: He's not bad.
Michael: He's even better.
Ted: Oh my god.
Michael: He's perfect.
Ted: And he wants to meet you tonight.
Michael: I've gotta get Brian some credit. He can sellanything. Even me.
[Emmett walks in.]
Michael: Hey Emmy, you want to see my dreamdate?
Emmett: f*ck off.
Ted: Who pissed on your parade?
Emmett: My secret admirer.
Ted: You didn't. I though we'd agreed that it wasn't areally great idea.
Emmett: I know, but his chaffeur pick me up.
Michael: You did it with his chaffeur?
Emmett: No, his chaffeur drove me to his place. It waslike the Buckingham Palace.
Ted: So who is this guy anyway?
Emmett: George Schickle.
Ted: Schickle's Pickles?
Michael: Pickle that people prefer?
Emmett: Well, he can keep his pickle. It's like threehundred years old.
Ted: They say it's worth a fortune!
Emmett: But unfortunately for him he finally foundsomething that even his money can't buy - namely me.
Michael: He thinks you're a...?
Emmett: Hustler. Can you imagine?
Ted: Unbelievable (!)
Michael: The nerve (!)
Emmett: I told him, I'm an artist. What I do requiresconcentration, dedication, determination...
Ted: Don't forget the jackolation.
Emmett: Take my word - it's a lot harder that it looks.And if you're watching, Mr.Schickle. What you see isdefinately not what you get!
[Daphne's party. A lot of beers,cigarettes, and letterman jackets. Heavy guitar rockpumps through the smokey room as dudes bob their heads ina most excellent fashion. There are street signs just allover the floor. Justin is miserable. He recoils in horrorfrom some girl checking him out. Daphne's got prettyhair. Daphne's boyfriend smokes a joint.]
Daphne: Uh, Justin, have you a good time?
Justin: I can't you tell (!)
Daphne: When I can deal in Woody's you can stay withthem.
Justin: That's the problem. No-one to handle.
[He puts his beer down on a staircase and walks off. Heinstantly sees another gay boy with the same forlorn lookon his face. They check each other out. Justin smiles,walks over, and puts his hand on the boy's crotch.]
[Theboys walk into a bedroom and take off their clothes. ]
Boy: Wait. We're have to be safe.
Justin: Don't worry. I've prepare.
[Justin pulls out a condom and opens it with his teeth.]
Justin: Pull on my dick.
Boy: Just uh...go slowly ok? I've never...
Justin: I think so. I'll take it easy.
[They have sex.]
[Emmett's watching pouty television with his pouty TV tray. Michael stands beside the couch.]
Michael: I thought you were going out!
Emmett: Mr. Betty Hut film festival.
Michael: My date is coming over.
Emmett: So?
Michael: He looks very hot. And if we're gonna f*ck right here on the floor?
Emmett: I promised not to leave any crumbs. Most of those guys don't even use their own photos. And besides they are thirty years ago.
Michael: Don't be so cynical!
Emmett: And don't be surprised when you open the door and it's some old geezer.
Michael: 'Cause you'd had a bad experience don't mean that everyone's out to get whatever they want by whatever means they can. There still some honest people in the world.
[He opens the door to see Mr. Schickle. Mikey slams thedoor in the man's face.]
Michael: You're right, they are a lie! It's like a three hundred year old guy in a red cardigan.
Emmett: I believe that ones for me.
[Emmett goes to the door.]
Emmett: Mr.Schickle, I do not appreciate bein' stalked.So kind move yourself from my doorway, my building, my street and my life.
George: Please, let me finish. I gone through a lot of trouble to find you.
Emmett: Quite unnecessary, I assure.
George: No, no. I was... I was horrifying when I realize that I've made such a... really serious miscalculations.
Emmett: A miscalculation is when you can't balance you rcheck book. This was an...
George: Insult. I realise that. So I have come here tooffer you my apologizes and uh, and this. [he has thegolden bracelet.] Because I would still it have.
Emmett: I don't accept giftes from fans.
George: Then have diner with me.
Emmett: Sorry, I can't.
George: Please. Please? It would be a small, neverthelessheartfelt expression of my deepest regret. I havetreating you in such a rude and reprehensible matter.
Emmett: I don't think you have handle that -reprehensible. Alright, go. Bring back the car ride,Prince Charming, I get my slippers.
[Emmett sees Michael's date at the door. He's cute in that brown-hair- square-jaw way.]
Guy: Excuse me, I'm looking for Michael?
Emmett: My god, you're really are a dream. Michael!You're dates here! Only seconds ago, when I was still available.
[He goes. Michael walks in.]
Michael: Well, come in.
Guy: Thanks.
Both: So...
Michael: I thoughed we have pizza and a movie?
Guy: Or tax make and dancing?
Michael: We can stay here and f*ck our brains out.
Guy: That one.
Michael: You're negative?
Guy: [nodds] You?
[Michael nodds. Michael slams the door. Both undressthereselves.]
[The Party. Justin lights acigarette and then lowers his sweaty naked body back downon all of the coats that belong to strangers. He handsthe cigarette to the boy.]
Guy: So uh, what was your's like? Your first time?
Justin: Mmmh, I saw him right like you.
Guy: Are your scared?
Justin: [laughs] Shitless. We went back to his place. Iswear I couldn't speak my name. And then he f*cked methen. I still remember the feel when he inside of me. Isee his face when he came.
Guy: I know what you mean.
[Outside, some girl bangs on the door.]
Girl: We need our clothes!
Justin: f*ck OFF! God, I hate this stupid party!
Guy: Me, too.
Justin: I wouldn't come, but if I didn't my friend Daphnewould never speak a word to me again.
Guy: And I was standing at the corner and watch the"dudes" and "babes" and wish I wouldstay home and watched MTV.
Justin: Why don't you go to clubs and bars. You meet alots of guys there.
Guy: I don't want to meet a lots of guys. I wanna meetjust one I would be with. Just the two of us.
Justin: Yeah, things don't exactly were got that way.
Guy: It can be, if you want.
[The girls knocking again.]
Guy: I guess better be dressed.
Girl: Come on. Hurry up!
Justin: Come back here.
[Justin breaks Rule #1 by kissing the boy. He then breaksRule #2 by lowering him back to the bed for round two.]
[Emmett and Schickle are eatingBurger Queen in the back of the limo.]
Emmett: Mmmh, I Love Burger Queen. You know for me whatmakes for me a royal treat? It's that the only patty withthe special one it's the Pickles.
George: I relish the compliment. And their are mine, youknow.
Emmett: I'm a Pickle fan from way back. My great auntLula, who live in Mississippi she's the make them. I goover there every day after school, sit out back and graband suck on those pickles things. It's more a significantstage of my later psychosexual development for I careinto.
[George laughs loudly.]
George: You have a really colourful family.
Emmett: I prefer to think they're lunatics. SuferingLula, she's to great one. Their my only friends of therest of them. I have nothing to do with local sissy boy.
George: It must to be very lonely.
Emmett: Mmmh, didn't stop me from be as I really wanna tobe. "f*ck 'em all" - that was my motto. Stillis.
George: I admire your courage. I wish I had it. Instead Ichoosed to live a lie cut my freedom, my desires to thefamily fortune. I even allowed them to marry me of thismeat-packing heiress so that we could just make somebeautiful sandwiches together. All it was a m*rder. Until one day five years ago she came home caughtme get the gardener a blowjob right there in the pricerose garden.
Emmett: Why, George, you're lake. French fries?
George: Well this wasn't. I looks like I was cheating onher. We're haven't have sex since 1972. So she sue thefamily and the children against me. Needless to say Ibecame a social avoider.
Emmett: At least you're finally free to be yourself.
George: Well, to be alone, friendless, so I want win thechampionship over the internet. f*ck'em all.
[Michaels place. The date has sexwith Mike.]
Michael: You are perfect.
Guy: I know. I wasn't always. I used to weigh 350, wasbold and hideous, coarse body hair all of my back, myshoulder, my stomach.
Michael: Really?
Guy: I started with labor section. Any serious operationstype my skin the next. Replace the hair model. After thismy skell protection, nose job, cheeking chimmin plants.
Michael: That must be expensive.
Guy: Oh, my folks have money. Now I work as a trainerright off five hours a day, six days a week. It's brutal,but I gotta maintain and foot combinal can veryimportant. You can eat proteins or corps, but never nevernever eat proteins and corps.
Michael: [eating ice cream] Got it. Will you margain ice?
Guy: Have you listening? You know, you cut put a littleimproving yourself. Your little hair moves on your chest.Pec implants, the burgians are definitely too wide andit's nothing personal but you might be consider a peanoextention.
Michael: Thanks for the tip.
[Next morning. Brian arrives hometo find Justin sleeping. He puts his hand under the sheetand wakes Justin up.]
Brian: You're finally up.
Justin: What time is it?
Brian: It's time to take for your morning hard on. Ofcourse it's afternoon. Somebody got home late last night.
Justin: 2.58 AM. Just under the line.
Brian: And Daphne must have some kick ass party.
Justin: Yeah, it was alright.
[Brian sniffs under the sheet.]
Brian: My nose tells me it was better than all right. Ismell the evil crossplayer.
Justin: Nah, the way up.
Brian: Hold on.
[He sniffs again.]
Brian: Mmmh, it's coming. A nice tight computer nerd.
Justin: Get warmer.
Brian: [sniffs again] A scent of innocient. A virgin.
Justin: A lucky guess.
[Brian kisses Justin.]
Brian: You kissed him.
Justin: I got to take a shower.
[Michael at the diner with Meland Linds.]
Michael: His face was great, his body was great, the sexwas great. And then he start talking!
Mel: So let me this get straight. You had sex undatebefore you even had a conversation?
Michael: You wouldn't understand.
Lindsay: What's that?
Michael: Because sex is different for men than it is forwomen. It's more immediate, more intense. At least soit's ever went.
Lindsay: Where? In field in stream?
Mel: Just for your information - Linds and I f*cked likecrazy. We pant and drul like a couple of bitches in heatare pussies is soak the sheets.
Lindsay: So we go out a lot longer in time that you guyscause this.
Mel: And I donno how many times we come that night.
Michael: You're right, I don't. Mom!
[Mikey turns and clutches his mother. He whimpers intoher stomach. Mel and Lindsay laugh.]
Debbie: What's the matter? Something scares you?
Lindsay: Just us.
Mel: I think Michael had a bad day.
Debbie: I told you to call Ida for Christ sakes. She's f*ck' genius!
Michael: I'll end up with a Jewish princess.
Lindsay: You could end up with a lot worse.
[Mel and Linds kisses. Mikey whimpers again as his motherstrokes his head.]
[The gym. Brian is liftingweights hardcore as Ted spots him.]
Ted: Easy. You had a lot on there.
Brian: I had to tighed up.
Ted: You had an eighteen-year old home, what do you worryabout?
Emmett: Keep it him. It's a shame you can enjoy yourgolden years without worrying about every f*g, everytwinkle.
Ted: I guess that's happening when you're dating so many,many years, you junior.
Emmett: Yeah, I don't envy your youth.
Brian: Yeah, you don't have to since your dating someonewhos one hundred and three.
Emmett: I'm not dating him. We shared a burger.
Brian: Hey! He can have solids!
Emmett: You know, George may not twenty-nine or have aperfect chin or thirty inch waist, but he's a lot nicerthan a certain arrogant, contempioniss, self-delidedasshole that I know.
Ted: Don't tell me, you wanna see him again!
Emmett: No, when we're said good night we're also saygoodbye.
Ted: You think he actually liked him?
Brian: Some guys rent a prime aged cock.
Ted: Better hope Justin is.
[Mikey shows up at Ida's house.Ida is a middle-aged man who dresses like an old Jewishwoman.]
Ida: So you're Michael. You're mother all about raiseyou.
Michael: You too. So, are you a PFLAG mom or...?
Ida: Actually I'm a PFLAG son. Have some bond. Relax.It's not like you date me. Now, what are you looking for?
Michael: He should be tall, polar built just likesuperman.
Ida: We all know your boys want beauties - that's agiven.
Michael: You ask me what I want it.
Ida: We're not talking about the outside. Michael,sweetheart, what do you want on the inside!
Michael: I...I don't know.
Ida: Sure you do. Just close your eyes. Think.
Michael: [closes his eyes] He's got a passionate aboutlife, a survivor, maintime this humor. He's charming,kind. He does something creative, maybe a writer. He'sinto the spiritual stuff, like Buddha. And he focuses onliving in the now, because there is no time to waste.When I'll be with him I feel like a better person.
[Ida looks through the box, chooses one name, nixes itand chooses another.]
Ida: Here he is. A lime light, Liberty Avenue eighto'clock.
Michael: Shouldn't I see a fotograph to know how he lookslike?
Ida: You don't need one, trust me. You'll know.
[Diner. Justin's boy toy shows upand looks around. He sees Debbie and turn around.]
Debbie: Honey! Just start breathing and take a seat. I'llbe right there.
Boy: Actually, I'm looking for somebody.
Debbie: In this charge who is it?
Boy: Justin!
Debbie: A friend of yours?
Justin: Do you mind if I take a break?
Debbie: Take all the time you need. As long as your backin 5 minutes.
[They'regoin' outside.]
Justin: What are you doin'?
Boy: I've been thinking about you since last night. Ireally missed you.
Justin: You don't even know me.
Boy: Sure I do and... you know me too.
Justin: Look, I don't want you to come here, ok?
Boy: Why not?
Justin: Cause I said so.
Boy: Yeah, but after what happen I though...
Justin: Nothing's happen, we f*cked. That's all.
Boy: That's not all. I love you.
Justin: [smills] You don't love me.
Boy: And from the way you kissed me I can tell that wehave this connection...
Justin: You know how pathetic you are?! One lousy f*ck you carry on like a lovesick fairy. You've got a lotto learn. f*g will say anything to get their dick suckedand f*ck a nice ass. Then it's on to the next.
Boy: I don't believe you! I know what I felt.
Justin: Yeah, but I'll don't feel anything. As far as I'mconcered you're yesterday's f*ck!
[The boy runs off in tears.]
[Schickle's mansion. The garden.George works in the garden. Emmett comes up with a gift.]
Emmett: Shouldn't you do the gardner do that?
George: The gardner's good for something. It's a newgardener.
[Emmett laughs.]
George: But these needs special care.
[Emmett crouch beside George.]
Emmett: Who would think that this little thing like thiscan contain something so beautiful. At least my motherwas a gardener. Once I plant a little bulb. I thoughedwhen it comes spring it would be a chandelier. Dump, huh?
George: Charming, nevertheless.
Emmett: Oh, I want to thank you for the diner. I broughedus some lunch.
George: You really must love Burger Queen.
Emmett: f*g want some Schickles.
George: That's very thoughtful of you, Fetch.
Emmett: Actually, my real name isn't Fetch. It's, uh,it's Emmett.
George: Nice to meet you, Emmett.
[Both sitting on the ground and open the bag.]
George: Why not, right here!
[Fancy restaurant with pianoagain. Mikey walks in.]
Michael: [Voice over] "The surving question numberone - 'How am I recognize my date when I'm never seenhim?' The surving question number two - 'Why do I listento my mothers?'"
[Sitting at one of the booths is Ben. The real Ben.]
Michael: [v-o] "Shit! Ben's here! This time I'm nothallucinating. It's really his. Starving question numberthree - 'How I'm supposed to...impressed my date...?'f*ck! Ben is my date. I'm assure he actually fixed me upwith... Oh god, he's looking at me. What will I do? Whatwill I do?"
[He goes to Ben's table and he's sitting down.]
Ben: Michael?
Michael: Ben, what a surprise.
Ben: Yeah, a small world.
Michael: Isn't it? Ida was right when she said, that Iknew how it was.
Ben: Who?
Michael: Ida. The matchmaker. Who else I am suppose toknew?
Ben: Uh, about what?
Michael: You and me.
Ben: Yeah, I'm sorry.
Michael: Are you here for a date?
Ben: Yeah, yeah, I am but... but not with you.
[Another guy comes to the table. Michael leaves thetable.]
[Babylon. Brian and Justin watcheverything from the catwalk. Music: Lio #Rature.]
# Sugar,you make my soul complete
Rapture tastes so sweet
la la la...
Brian: So many men, so little body hair.
Justin: See any you like?
Brian: Him.
Justin: I guess.
Brian: You?
Justin: Him.
Brian: He's kinda young. Let's go for it.
Justin: Or we could go home. Just the two of us.
Brian: What about the game?
Justin: f*ck the game.
[Brian pulls Justin in for a kiss. They make out as thecamera leaves them and the techno music turns to thepiano. Fade to black.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x08 - Love For Sale"} | foreverdreaming |
[We open with some serious ass ramming. It appears that Brian is f*cking a guy. The guy is on his hands and knees, gasping. You can see other people. Brian looks up and leans over to his right. Justin leans in. They kiss. Justin's got his own dick toy as he and Brian make out. They break away and lean back to ride in unison. Pan down to the two guys getting f*cked. One wears a cross around his neck. As he reaches orgasm, the cross twinkles in the blue light.]
[Babylon. Lots of feathers and boas and jungle prints. Emmett, Ted, and Michael stand on the catwalk, overlooking the scene.]
Emmett: I haven't seen Brian.
Michael: He's with Justin. It's date night.
[Ted yawns audibly.]
Emmett: I'm sorry we keeping you up.
Ted: No, it's the business. Working day and all night it's not the same as punching in 9-5 at Workshafters.
Emmett: But just think - you're a success.
Ted: But I have not much time to enjoy it.
Michael: You need something to make your eyelids open.
Emmett: Yeah, like him.
[Cut to a pretty blond boy in a tiny t-shirt standing off to the side]
Ted: Yeah, right! Those Norse God isn't interested in me.
Michael: You're never know unless you try.
Ted: Sure, what the hell. I'm too tired to care.
Emett: What a boy!
[Ted walkes to the blond boy.]
Ted: Hi, how's goin'?
[The blond won't even look over in Ted's direction.]
Ted: I'm Ted. Maybe you could use this as a paper or something. [he's giving his card]
Man: jerkatwork.net. Is that you?
Ted: Right. I'm the president.
Man: Thor. How's about hooking up?
Ted: You and me? You got it.
[Ted walks back with the boys.]
Emmett: He gave you his number?
Ted: That success is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Michael: Oh, shit!
[He sees Ben dancing in the confetti below.]
Emmett: Well, if it isn't the hunkiest professor in the whole wide world.
Michael: Thank you for making me so much better!
Ted: You did the right thing. Ben is positive.
Emmett: Positively yummy!
Ted: There are plenty f*ck guys out there that you don't have worried about.
Emmett: C'mon, let's dance.
[Michael watches Ben dance, and a bit of drool almost falls from Mike's lips to the top of Ben's head.]
Michael: [v-o] "It's true there a lot of f*ck guys out there but I didn't date a few."
[The Diner. Michael speaks without a pause. Mel, Lindsay, and are there.]
Michael: The only problem is they're not Ben. I can't stop thinking about him I'm upset!
[Cut to Brian at the same table with Gus.]
Brian: And I'm trying to eat.
Lindsay: It make it worse that you don't have somebody to replace him.
Michael: It's my own fault. I shouldn't let my own influence by other people.
Mel: Obviously you had your doubts or you would have told them all to f*ck ourselves.
Lindsay: There's probably some truth in that, Michael.
Michael: You think it's too late?
Brian: [loud] You know, I ordered my eggs with bacon ! [normal voice] Not group therapy. If you want Ben back, go f*cking get him! [Brian stands up.]
Debbie: Hey, you're bacon! Well, then I'll eat it. Oh, oh, those poppy dog eyes does mean one thing - boy trouble.
Lindsay: [mouths] Ben.
Debbie: Honey, the right guy will come along. You'll see. And when he does you'll be right there with your big warm heart. And that face that you just pinch like a peach. Right? Don't forget - Monday night Ziti night.
Michael: Great. That I'm be fat and single.
[Brian's loft. His sister with her two sons are there. They fight and bicker around Brian's expensive apartment. The kids break something.]
Claire: I'm telling you Brian, she's drop me out of my mind. I told you two to behave!
Peter: He did it!
John: No, he did!
Peter: f*g!
John: h*m*.
Brian: Sit down and keep shut up. Or I make sure your balls never drop.
Claire: Well, I do everything for her. Did she appreciate it? Did she ever says thank you? All she does is crisitice. I'm meaning nothing is good enough for her.
Brian: Why don't you k*ll her? Every jury on earth will convicted you. They all have mothers at her own.
Claire: I have a better idea. You deal with her. You put up with her demands, her drinking which has more since daddy died.
Brian: She's celebrating.
Claire: Brian, you drive her to the doctor, to church, to get her hair done.
Brian: f*ck that shit!
[The kids laughs.]
Claire: [to them] Shut up! She's your mother too. You can't just stick me with her.
Brian: It works so far.
Claire: Well not any more. I've looked after her, after both of them ever since we are kids. Were you are scot-free. Now even you help me out Brian or I swear she's yours. ALL yours. [to the kids] C'mon, let's go.
[Back in p*rn, Ted's expanded his business to include four different video images at once. Emmett's just getting off work wearing a hardhat and a tool belt.]
Emmett: Well I've done Cop, Cowboy, Indianer. All the Village People. [Ted's completely asleep.] Teddy? Hey.
Ted: Huh?
Emmett: Baby, you are exhausted.
Ted: Invoices, payroll. Conucil receivable. It's like Workshafter's times of thousand. I've supposed to meet Thor the impaler tonight. I'm too tired to get even up.
Emmett: Honey, you are in Biz. You're dick is at your fingertips.
[He tosses him a bottle of prescription medicine.]
Ted: "Viagra". I ever know if I have a winning score when it comes to drugs.
Emmett: I understand your reservation and normally I would agree with you. But, huh, but this stuff is for old pensioner. They can f*ck like one who is thirty. Even you should f*ck like someone who is eighty.
Ted: You ever tried it?
Emmett: Well when you operate you must be have the equipment.
Ted: And?
Emmett: At least for few hours at tops. And long enough for a night you will never forget.
[Mikey is stalking Ben. He's standing outside Ben's apartment. Ben walks up.]
Ben: Hey Michael.
Michael: What a coincidence my running into you.
Ben: Not really, don't ya? Well, nice to see you.
[Ben goes to the door. Mikey follows Ben.]
Michael: The truth is I've been walking up and down the block for two hours waitin' for you.
Ben: You like to come up?
[Inside Ben's apartment, the camera settles on a "Buddha" statue.]
Ben: Can I get you something to drink?
Michael: No, thanks. [Michael see this statue.]
Ben: Oh, a friend of mine gave me this. Rubs the belly, it brings luck.
Michael: Is it work?
Ben: Can't hurt.
Michael: I've been thinking about you, a lot.
Ben: I thoughed about you to.
Michael: Yeah? I think I may overreacted. You know you've been positive. I listen to a lot of people, but I should listen to myself. Anyway I'd like to start again. I mean if you're not seeing anybody. You aren't seing someone, are you?
Ben: No.
Michael: Good, then... we pick up where we left of.
[Mike leans in for a kiss, but Ben stops him.]
Ben: Look, I appreciated you coming and see me. And everything you've said that this time would be different. But I can't take that chance. I need to know that if I violate myself to love someone that their not gonna bail on me. No matter what their friends or mother may say. I need to know he will be there. So, I'm sorry, but it takes more than a kiss.
[Ted calls up Emmett.]
Ted: It's been an hour since I've took it.
Emmett: Well, there are not hard or firm rules when it comes to this things. It'll happens when it happens.
Ted: I don't want anything to happen 'til Thor arrvied. [Ted gets another call, and the split-screen shatters into three boxes.] Hold on. Hello?
Thor: It's me, Thor.
Ted: So,... when you... coming over.
Thor: I can't. My dog throwing up. I got to take it to the hospital. Christ Lulu! - She did it again. I got to go.
[He hangs up.]
Emmett: Ted?
Ted: That was Thor. Lulu's throwing up.
Emmett: Who's Lulu?
Ted: Oh god! I'm getting hard.
Emmett: There you see, it's working. - Oh, it's working(!)
Ted: Yeah, uh uh, what do I do now?
Emmett: What do you mean what do you do now? You need a manual? Honey, I've seen you in action. We've all seen you in action. I'm sure you've come up with something.
Ted: Thanks.
[Emmett hangs up and dunks himself into the tub as Ted frets about his dick.]
[Mrs.Kinney kicks back a dainty stiff one as Brian fiddles with an ancient radio.]
Brian: It's quite early, isn't it?
Mrs.Kinney: Just something to calm my nerves. When was the last time I saw you?
Brian: Christmas.
Mrs.Kinney: You've stayed for an hour and broughed my flowers. The same ones. Mmmh, we better go. We don't wanna be late.
Brian: For what?
Mrs.Kinney: Church.
Brian: Church?
Mrs.Kinney: Claire said you take me.
Brian: I never said that. What a bitch!
Mrs.Kinney: Brian, do you had such a language!
[Brian shoves the flowers (still wrapped) into a vase without water and pouts.]
Brian: Why do you don't go at the eight o'clock service?
Mrs.Kinney: Well, I've switched to the moon ones. It's more traditional. And we have that wonderful new minister.
[The rap music continues as Mrs.Kinney sips another drink.]
Mrs.Kinney: Are you comin'?
Brian: Hell, no.
Mrs.Kinney: Fine. I'm go myself.
Brian: You can't go like that.
Mrs.Kinney: Darling, I've managed quite well on my own without you, without anyone my entire life. Truly, I can do it. I don't need you.
[The rap music takes over... and it comes from an urban basketball court. A basketball game is in full effect, and Ben appears to be the only white guy on the court. Passing and dodging. You see the occasional basket. Ben gets a rebound. Mike's there, cheering in surprise.]
Michael: The NFL should signs you up.
Ben: Uh, that's Football.
Michael: Right, right I mean the NBL.
Ben: There is no NBL.
Michael: OK, I don't know anything about Basketball. Cause if you don't noticed I'm q*eer.
Ben: Well, I love Basketball. And in case you've noticed I'm q*eer to.
Michael: Oh, I've noticed.
Guy: OK, guys, I've got to go.
Michael: I'll cover.
[Mikey awkwardly dribbles with both hands over to where Ben's standing.]
Michael: Alright, let's play ball!
Guy#2: I'll covered Mighty Mouse.
Ben: C'mon, these guy will k*ll you. Give me the ball.
Michael: No.
Ben: I've said give me the ball, Michael!
Michael: Not until you agree go out with me, tonight.
Guy#2: Pardon me, give me the ball!
Michael: Sure time, Godzilla.
Guy#2: Huh?
Michael: I'm not handing over the ball until he agrees to go out with me on the day.
Ben: Are you out of your mind?
Michael: You let my mother really need to ask that?
Guy#2: I suggest you say yes, because if he's like the bitch I got at home, we're gonna be standing here all day.
[Brian's walking his mother to church. They find a seat in the front. Brian looks at the large crucifix on the wall.]
Brian: Jesus. Told him to lay off the Slim-Fast.
Mrs.Kinney: Shh, behave yourself! When was your time last in church?
Brian: It's been a while.
Mrs.Kinney: Whenever I come here I feel a sense of calm, you know peace, knowing that I watched over, protected, safe.
Brian: Yeah, but a good security system what do the same job and longer and cheaper than all those money you dropped in the collection plate over the years.
Mrs.Kinney: Wait until you see the new minister. I can't tell you what a great comfort he has been since your father died. He calls, he visits, he makes sure I'm all right. Oh, he's been...like a son.
Brian: Well, for his sake I sure hope you don't treat him like one.
Mrs.Kinney: Here he is.
[The new minister walks in. We're all treated to a flashback of Brian f*cking the shit out of the new minister. Everyone in the congregation sits back down except Brian, with visions of minister plums still dancing in his head. Brian sits down and can't control his titters.]
[Music swells as the camera sweeps over a sleeping Ted. Fresh from a wonderful night's sleep, he stretches with a giant grin and looks down to find...his enormous boner!]
Ted: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[The church. Ted's screams are overlapped with the droning of the church bell.]
Mrs.Kinney: Wasn't he wonderful? I want you to come and say hello. I've told him all about you. I told him how successful and good looking you are. He just dying to meet you. Reverend Tom.
[Reverend Tom turns around and hugs Mrs.Kinney.]
Rev.Tom: You never miss a single sunday.
Mrs.Kinney: Not for a world! You never guess who's with me - my son.
Rev.Tom: That's wonderful.
Mrs.Kinney: I'll introduce you. Brian, this is Reverend Tom Butterfield.
[The recognition is instantaneous.]
Brian: Reverend Butterfield. My mothers told me so much about you. It's uncandy, but it feels like we're already met.
Mrs.Kinney: Oh, excuse me. Uh, Ruth!
[Brian, one foot still inside the church, lights a cigarette.]
Brian: Great service.
Rev.Tom: I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Brian: I meant, at the baths.
Rev.Tom: I don't know what to say.
Brian: Me neither. I f*cked practically everybody in this town but this... [lauhgs] is a first.
Rev.Tom: I would appreciated if you keep this between the two of us.
Brian: You think I'm gonna tell my mom? She's even know that I'm gay. And I haven't talk to your boss for years, so don't worry, Rev. You're secret safe with me.
[Lindsay and Mel's house. All guys, expect Ted, are eating with the Lesbos.]
Mel: So, you f*cked your mother's minister?
Justin: You should have seen it; it was totally hot.
Lindsay: Isn't he taking just quite a chance?
Brian: The average age of his parishioners is a hundred and two. A doubt there hanging out at bath.
Emmett: I want onces be a priest. But I didn't want to live his life cloistered away in a roomful of men. Excuse me.
[Emmetts cell phone rings. It's Ted's erection, just outside, wearing a trenchcoat. He whispers fiercely.]
Ted: [whispers] It's me.
Emmett: "Teddy?"
Ted: [whispers] Sssh!
Emmett: "Where are you?"
Ted: [whispers] At Mel and Lindsay's front porge.
Emmett: What are you doin' at the front porge? Why aren't you come in?
Ted: Because I don't want the other to see me. I need to talk to you. So just slip outside and check on the wheater. But promised, promised, promised me you come alone.
[Emmett opens the door with everyone standing there. Ted keeps his back turned.]
Mel: Come and have some brunch.
Ted: Uh, no. No thank you. I just need to talk to Emmett and then I'm be on my way. [whispers] I still have an erection(!)
Emmett: What do you mean you still have an erection?
Ted: Thank you, CNN. I took Viagra last night. It's been eighteenth hour and it won't be down. What I'm gonna do?
Emmet: You tried soaking it?
Lindsay: How about a cold shower?
Brian: How about scaring it?
Justin: That's the hiccups.
Brian: Boo!
Ted: Thank you all for caring.
Mel: Why you do something that would absolutely scaring you off?
Brian: That's a great idea. Why don't you two showing him your tits?
Mel and Linds: Brian!
Ted: [to Emmett] You said it would last a few hours tops.
Emmett: Go figured.
Justin: [to Brian] Maybe you should take some. Our sex life isn't what it use to be. We're down like four times a day!
Ted: I've got to do something!
Emmett: OK, ok.
Brian: Well just try to make it next Monday.
Emmett: What is next monday?
Brian: Flag day.
[Brian's loft. Justin and Brian f*ck.]
Justin: [gasps] I can't... believe... you f*ck... me... again.
Brian: [gasps] It was... your idea... to steal Ted's... Viagra.
[Just as they finish, there's a pounding at the door. They collapse on each other as the knocking continues.]
Justin: Are you gonna answer?
Brian: That'll go away.
[Brian decides to answer the door. It's his mother. Brian mostly hides behind the door.]
Brian: Mom!
Mrs.Kinney: I'm sorry. Am I disturbing you? I was gonna leave this here by the door with the note. But then I though as long as I am here...
Brian: ...and you might bang on this door million times and driving me nuts until I answered.
Mrs.Kinney: It's your favourite! Chocolate, chocolate chip.
[Brian let her in. Mrs. Kinney puts the cake on the counter.]
Mrs.Kinney: It's just my way to say thank you for goin' with me to church. I can't tell you how much it meant.
Brian: Well, let's do it again. Soon.
Mrs.Kinney: I know you don't mean that. And I probably won't see you again for another six months. If you had any idea how lonely it gets know that your father is gone. I'm all alone night and day by myself. The phone never rings. If only we can be close. The way we wants were.
Justin: Brian? Are you coming back?
Mrs.Kinney: I didn't know there were someone else here.
[Justin walks down, half-naked and covered in sweat as well. Justin's nursing his ass as he walks down the steps]
Brian: Justin this is... my mother. Mom, this is Justin.
Justin: [smiles] Hi.
[Mrs.Kinney runs to the door. She pushes the call button for the elevator. Brian walks closer to her.]
Brian: Mom? What? Are you weren't gonna talk to me?
Mrs.Kinney: Thank god your father didn't know.
Brian: He did. I told him before he died.
Mrs.Kinney: What about your sister? [silence] So you've told everyone but me. I hope you know it's a sin.
Brian: That I f*ck guys or that I didn't tell you?
Mrs.Kinney: You make all jokes you want. The Bible makes it clear. You're goin' to hell.
[Emmett and Ted are at some doctor's office.]
Emmett: What... what is it, doctor?
Doctor: That's quite a boner you've got there.
Ted: Nothing like the expert diagnosis of a train medical professionel.
Emmett: Shhh. But doctor why, why won't get it down?
Doctor: It's a prepism. A blood clot to the penis.
Ted: Oh my god.
Emmett: Well, it's better than a blood clot in the brain.
Ted: Unless you think with your dick!
[We can see the doctor flicking Ted's penis through the backlighting of the curtain.]
Doctor: This is extremely unusual! One for the medical journals.
Emmett: Or the Guinness Book of World Records.
Ted: Shut up! So your recommendation?
Doctor: Are you have any pain?
Ted: No.
Doctor: You can try to decongestant.
Ted: A decongestant? I have a penis in a state of permanent for stage alert not for a stepped up diangosis. Isn't there nothing like cut eggin' you can do?
Doctor: Well actually there is. We could insert twice wide needles of the shaft and brain the blood.
Ted: You know decongestant is very effective for me.
Emmett: But when will it go down? Doctor? A week? A month? A year?
Doctor: Hard to say. Sorry.
[Karaoke bar. Someone's butchering "Hot Stuff." Ted drinks a beer with Emmett and the other guys.]
Guy: # Hot stuff,
I need some hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
Ted: And I need a stiff one. [Brian laughs] The other kind.
Emmett: Don't worrying. You heard what the doctor said. It will go down.
Brian: Yeah, mine did.
Justin: Yeah, thanks to your mom. She can make anyone lose their hard-on.
Ted: Can I get her number?
Michael: She just needs a little time to get used to it.
Emmett: What, that her baby boy sucks hot, hard cock?
Ted: And loves it!
Brian: She's probably praying for my soul as we speech with Reverend f*ck. Well he's the one she believes in. The one she trust, the one that's been like a son to her. She only knew.
Ted: Well, don't worry. God's still loves you. No matter what.
Brian: Yeah, like I give a shit what God thinks about me. He should worried about what I think of Him.
Michael: How you figured that?
Brian: In all these cold, d*ad universe we're the only ones that exists. Without us He's nothin'.
[Then Ben walks in. Michael gets up and going to the door.]
Michael: You came!
Ben: I said that I would, didn't I?
[Mike joins Ben and gives him a hug.]
Michael: Come over here and meet the guys.
Ben: Wait. I thoughed this was only you and me.
Michael: It is. C'mon.
["Hot Stuff" guy keeps getting butchered. Mike shows Ben off. Everyone says hello except Ted.]
Michael: Hey guys, look who's here.
Ben: Hey guys.
Justin: Hey Ben.
Ted: Forgive me for not standing.
Brian: He already is.
Emmett: So did you guys just happened to run into each other?
Ben: Actually...
Michael: No, I'm invited him. He's my date.
Ted: Well, I thoughed you two...
Michael: We did, but I'm hoping we're got back together again. Anybody got a problem with that? [no-one say a word] Glad to hear it. [to Ben] How about you?
Guy: # Hot stuff,
I need your hot stuff #
Thank you. Thank you to me lover. You're all the hot stuff I need.
[all cheers.]
Emmett: Well, this was... so movie. Wasn't it movie? Well I think it takes real courage to stand up and singing for your love, off-key.
Ben: I got to go.
Michael: But you just got here.
Ben: You said, let's get together and we did. Be careful, Michael.
[Ben heads to the door. Just as Ben's about to leave, we hear someone pretending to singing a mostly off-key rendition of "Ben". Mike's standing on the stage, lip synching the words. The entire bar is quiet. Michael sings a song for Ben. The g*ng is quiet and watch him in shock.]
[Outside. It's dark and night. Ben and Michael goes through the park.]
Ben: Well, I've learned a lot about you in last days.
Michael: Like what?
Ben: You can't play basketball, and he can't sing.
Michael: It's pretty amazing how untalented I am, isn't it?
Ben: I did not say that. OK, I admit it, it took a lot of courage to get up there. Hell, it took balls.
Michael: But I told you I know what I want and I'll do anything to get it.
Ben: You mean me.
Michael: Yeah, I mean you.
[They kiss each other.]
Ben: Alright, I tell you what. Diner tomorrow night at my place. I will make you a chicken set that will make you weep.
Michael: Cool. - Shit!
Ben: What?
Michael: I promised my mother I have diner with her and my Uncle Vic.
Ben: Some other time then.
Michael: No! No. Diner, tomorrow night.
[Disco church! Brian sits in the empty hall watching Reverend f*ck.]
Brian: Hello Reverend. I just came in for a few quit moments to say a prayer.
Rev.Tom: Well, then don't let you disturb you.
Brian: You see I have this terrible burden.
Rev.Tom: And what is that?
Brian: My mother recently discovered that I'm a... h*m* and... she thinks I'm goin' to hell.
Rev.Tom: That is a problem.
Brian: What she doesn't know is that so is the minister. Not only that and this is the part your never gonna believe. I actually had him - myself. Down on all fours, squealing like a pig.
Rev.Tom: I don't think this is the time or the place to have this kind of discussion.
Brian: What would she say if she knews that a man of God is at the bath and taking up the ass?
Rev.Tom: I understand your feelings of anger, of pain. But there have nothing to do with me and with this church. That have to do with you and your mother.
Brian: You knew a shit about my mother.
Rev.Tom: I know a lot more than you. I spend time with her and I talked to her and I try to offer of comfort.
Brian: Like telling her that I'm burn in hell.
Rev.Tom: I don't teach that lesson. I teach love. I teach truth.
Brian: The truth is your a g*dd*mn liar.
Rev.Tom: Brian, I you want to betray me if that's what you need to do? Then you doin'. But I know who have to answered to and it isn't you. Now get the f*ck out of my church.
[Book store. Brian holding Gus on his arm.]
Brian: So which piece of whimsical fiction would you prefer, Sonny Boy? Grimm's Fairy Tales or the Bible.
Lindsay: If you gonna struck by lightning I appreciated if you do when Gus and I aren't around.
Brian: It's all what it is - a book. Full of fairy tales made by a bunch of Bibel hitchers. The world's been k*lling itself over it ever since.
Lindsay: So who's the latest victim? Your mother minister?
Brian: She shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.
Lindsay: But the truth by the Saint Brian? So what do you hope to accomplished with your truth? You destroy him, which case you know different than a so called good christian...
Brian: [to Gus] Doesn't mommy talk nice? All those big words. She has a right to know.
Lindsay: That he's gay? So how come your never told her about yourself?
Brian: Because my private life is not her g*dd*mn business.
Lindsay: Neither is the ministers. So tell her. Take away the one thing she's got.
[At Debbies. In the kitchen.]
Debbie: Do you think I made enough?
Vic: It depends what you mean with enough. If you mean enough for the entire population of the western hemisphere then... yeah you made enough. Now relax, will ya?
Debbie: Relax?! My son is bring home someone to meet us without my even askin'. At his request! When was the last time this were happen?
Vic: Uh...
Debbie: It never has! So this could be the one. The guy he wants to live with.
Vic: Wouldn't it be a kicker if Brian walked through that door?
Debbie: Well you get your meds adjusted.
Michael: Ma? Uncle Vic?
Debbie: God, he's here. Sweetheart. Hi baby!
[Ben's back is turned, so Debbie doesn't see him right away, but once she does, it gets all quiet as she tries not to scream and cry right in front of him. Ben gives her flowers.]
Michael: You remember Ben?
Debbie: ...sure...Hi Ben.
Ben: Hey.
Michael: Ben, this is my Uncle Vic.
Vic: It's a pleasure to meet you.
Ben: Same here. Oh, these are for you.
Debbie: Well thank you. There's lovely.
Vic: Well? If we're gonna stand there, come on in.
[Brian sits in a pew beside his mother. She's praying.]
Brian: Mom! Imagine I found you here!
Mrs.Kinney: I'm prayin', Brian.
Brian: For my soul?
Mrs.Kinney: I always include you in my prayers.
Brian: What a pal.
[He takes off his jacket and plops beside her. She tries to ignore him, but she can't, because he keeps coughing. Mrs. Kinney unclasps her hands and sits back beside him.]
Mrs.Kinney: Now then, what do you want?
Brian: There is something I thoughed you might like to hear. I seen this would be the perfect setting.
Mrs.Kinney: I hope you've come to ask forgivenness.
Brian: Not exactly.
Mrs.Kinney: It's the only salvation there is.
Brian. What about the salvation army?
Mrs.Kinney: I always though you were so smart, so clever, so much better than everybody else. For all the cleverness in this world isn't gonna help you...
Brian: Safe it for your f*g-free afterlife.
Mrs.Kinney: Oh, alright. Go ahead, mock me. Mock my faith, mock God. You don't different than your father. He used to mock me, too. He called my a saint. Said I was as stone cold as one.
[Brian laughs.]
Mrs.Kinney: It's hard to love a man who's never giving you a kind word in thirty years. He's rather spend times with his friends, drinking than with me. He not cared about his family. He didn't even want me to have you.
Brian: I know the story.
Mrs.Kinney: You may have heard it but you don't know it. You don't how I had put up with his abuse. You don't know how I had to protect you from him. You don't know how I had to let him h*t me instead of you. You don't know that, do you?
Brian: I don't want to hear that.
Mrs.Kinney: No, of course not. You couldn't be bothered. You never could. Because you're selfish.
Brian: It's not true.
Mrs.Kinney: I'm sorry to say it, but it is. All you ever cared about was yourself. I kept depend on you anymore than I depend on him. But there is someone I count on, no matter what.
Brian: Let me gues, Reverend Tom.
Mrs. Kinney: God. God will always be there for me. God will never let me down. Who can you say that about?
[Debbie's house. Debbie is politely listening to small talk, but her wiggling ankle's giving her away.]
Ben: I mind my mom never did anything to help us. She couldn't join P-FLAG right. She had to the chapter president.
Vic: Sounds familiar.
Michael: I bet you two have a lot in common, mom.
Debbie: Uh-huh. Anybody hungry? I am.
[She leaves the room. Butt sh*t on Mikey as he walks into the kitchen.]
Michael: You need any help?
Debbie: No.
Michael: Ben's awesome, isn't he?
Debbie: Awesome. Where's my g*dd*mn cheese grater?
[She starts grinding cheese.]
Michael: I like him, mom. I like him a lot.
Debbie: I know you do, sweetheart. I like him,too. He's handsome, charming, smart, and probably works out twice a week. I just don't like him for you. And friendly I don't appreciated you ambushed me.
Michael: I did not ambush you!
Debbie: You know how I feel about him. I made it perfectly clear. You don't even bother to tell me you bring him in!
Michael: I don't need your permission.
Debbie: Listen, this is still my house. And in my house you still say, 'Mother may I?'.
Michael: I love him, mom. That's the reality. And you just gonna have to live with it.
[Back in the living room. Debbie sits quietly at the head of the table.]
Vic: God, I missed New York. I lived there for all the years, you know. What's that bar on the westside? "The Works". You ever go there?
Ben: Well, you kidding? I grew up around the corner.
Debbie: So how long you've been positive, Ben?
Michael: Mother?
Debbie: Is just like to know.
Ben: That's ok. I'm fine with that. 5 years.
Debbie: What your T-Cell count?
[Michael throwing his fork away.]
Ben: Six hundred.
Debbie: Even been hospitalized?
Ben: Not not yet. [he knocks wood] Not would.
[Cut to Vic, who's staring straight ahead.]
Debbie: Viral load?
Ben: Undetectable.
Debbie: On the cocktail?
Ben: Anti-virals.
Michael: What the f*ck you think you're doin'?
Debbie: This is the reality, sweetheart. And you're just gonna have to live with it.
[Babylon. Men douse themselves with bottles of water. Emmett and Ted walk out on the dance floor.]
Emmett: It's great that you up in the world. You know you never let your get down.
Ted: I wish something would get it down.
Thor: Hey Ted. Listen I'm sorry for the other night.
Ted: I know. How's Lulu?
Thor: Turns out she had eat my shorts. Caused her tummy great distress.
Emmett: You know that same thing happens to me.
Thor: So, you're up for a little action?
Emmett: He's up for it, all right.
[Ted leaves with Thor. Emmett dances in a very sexy, very fun way. In the back, Thor grabs Ted's crotch.]
Thor: Wow, some monster.
[He goes to his knees and pulls down Ted's pants. Ted leans back happily. Just as Ted groans, Thor gets upset.]
Thor: Hey.
Ted: Is something wrong?
Thor: It's going down.
Ted: It is. It is! It's goin' down! I'm soft! You made my dick soft!
Thor: You have to broadcast it?
Ted: [screams] Hey, I'm soft! It's soft!
[Ben and Michael go back to Ben's place.]
Michael: It's supposed to be a diner not the f*cking Spanish inqueersition. She knows lots of positive people.
Ben: But none that dating her son. She just tryin' to protect you.
Michael: I don't need anybody to protecting me.
Ben: I try tell that. What she was asking you have a right to know. I'm in good shape now. But I can't promise that he always will be.
Michael: But there is not always there is only now. That's all we have. Isn't this what you're always telling me?
Ben: That's what I'm always telling you.
Michael: So then... I don't care what anyone else says and feels. I just care how I feel.
[Michael and Ben kiss without tongue. Ben takes off his shirt. Michael takes his own shirt off and pecks at Ben's neck and shoulders. Ben lies back on the bed as Mike unwraps a condom.]
Ben: I need you be very sure.
Michael: [smiles] I am sure.
[He puts the condom on Ben and they roll over. Ben takes Michael's leg over his shoulder. Michael pants and looks a bit surprised. They kiss. Then it gets all blurry. Focus on the Buddha.]
[Babylon. Justin dancing on the crowd.]
Justin: Hey, a double!
Brian: Two double Jim Beams.
Rev.Tom: Let me take that.
Brian: That's a first. A clergyman buying someone else a drink.
Rev.Tom: Your mother tells me you were at church.
Brian: Yeah, but not for the reason you think.
Rev.Tom: Whatever the reason thank you.
Brian: For what?
Rev.Tom: For not sayin' anything.
Brian: I didn't do it for you.
Rev.Tom: You're a good son.
Brian: Promise not to tell. Now if you'll excuse me I'm...going to hell.
[Brian dives back into the dance floor with his booze and his boy. The minister watches Brian kiss and dance with his young boyfriend.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x09 - Accentuate the Positive"} | foreverdreaming |
[We open with the pages of Captain Astro as Michael narrates the dialogue for us.]
Morphisto: [Michael's Voice] "So Captain Astro, this is how it ends? With a whimper. Not a bang!"
Captain Astro: "I don't know about you, Morphisto. But I get quite a bang out of it."
Morphisto: "All these years of your pursuits - from planet to planet. Over galaxies across billions of light years has exhausted me."
Captain Astro: "You'll be getting plenty of rest from now on, Morphisto - in solar solitary! What the... feeling weak ... can barely stand."
Morphisto: "Forgot to mention, my dear Captain. This planet I had you chase me to... has a deadly virus. Luckely I'm completely immune, too bad you don't. Get your sh*ts."
Captain Astro: "Help me."
Michael: "The end of an era - Captain Astro... is d*ad. The End." Captain Astro is d*ad?!
[Diner. Mikey is telling his friends about Captain Astro's unfortunate demise.]
Emmett: Oh my god, what happen?
Michael: He died of an intergalactic virus which has no known human cure. When it sound like to you.
Brian: Cheap plot to keep you in ball for the next issue. "Captain Astro returned fromt he d*ad. Out on bucks for $25."
Michael: It's not gonna be a next issue. I talked to the publisher. He never bringing him back.
[Debbie turns around all smiles. She's looking at a concerned Mike.]
Debbie: Sweetheart, what's wrong?
Michael: They k*lled him.
Debbie: Who?!
Justin: Captain Astro.
Debbie: Honey, I'm so sorry. [She smacks Michael in the head.] Did you ever f*cking scare me like that again... f*ck!
Ted: Look at that this way - He lived a long and productive life must have saved the world at least 5.000 times.
Emmett: Yeah in his age he still look good in Spandex, it's quiet incheapment.
Michael: You guys can joke all you want but the word on the net is that the reason he k*lled him because people thoughed he was gay.
Brian: Well, all he lives with Galaxy Lad for thirty years it's a chance of that.
Justin: If it's true that they k*lled Captain Astro because he's gay they mix his d*ad with hate crime.
Ted: I think you get a little carried away. I mean he's not real. He's a comic book hero.
Michael: It was more than that. He was a hero for a lot of kid who don't have heros. Now he's gone.
[Lindsay and Melanie are picking out wedding stuff. This time it's the place setting and menu. Everything is very, very French.]
French woman: This is our plate special.
Mel: Translation it's called "blue plate special. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and iceberg lettuce with Russian dressing.
French woman: Next le menu parisian.
Lindsay: Uh lala.
French woman: (speaks french)
Mel: So how much for Marie Antoinette's last meal.
French woman: Fifty.
Mel: Let them eat wedding cake.
Lindsay: What's that?
French woman: (speaks french) Feast of feasts - it's filet mignon from New Zealand and African lobster.
Lindsay: How much?
French woman: 125.
Mel: Wow, for surf and turf?
French woman: Perhaps I should be allow you two to discussed your special day.
[Cut to lesbian bar with the shaky cam.]
Mel: [to Leda] You should have see this. The platé.
Lindsay: It's called tasty.
Mel: It's called to rip of. I can't believe of that charge.
Lindsay: I can't believe you still carryin on about that.
Leda: So which plate you have you pick?
Lindsay: We haven't decided it yet. But I'm leaving for the Feast of feasts.
Leda: Uh, what's that?
Lindsay: Filet mignon from New Zealand and African lobster.
Mel: They fly the cow in first class.
Lindsay: It's our special day.
Mel: You don't remind me on this movement, I don't want to hear that.
Lindsay: You don't. In fact we don't had to have a sit-down diner at all. We can have a wedding right here!
Mel: Very funny(!)
Lindsay: I'm serious. We can do it from five to seven during Happy Hour. Two for one-drinks, three meal and all we can wear is a Buffalo wings! Well it will costs us about a hundred bucks, tops!
Mel: Sit down. You've been ridiculous.
Lindsay: I'm standing here. You have been who's rediculous counting every nickel and dime.
Mel: Every nickel and dime we don't have...
Leda: Girls, girls. We maybe d*ke, but remember we are still ladies.
Mel: I'm sorry if you feel that all I care is about money. But I didn't grow up like a spoiled little rich girl like you.
Lindsay: I am not a spoiled little rich girl!
Mel: Please! Your entire world view is based on Santa bringing everything you have ever asked for.
Lindsay: He didn't bring me everything I ask for. I've never have that cashmere sweater I always wanted. No, I thought that we could just onces we could be a little extravagant. But obviously you've be happier when the "Weddings for Less". But better yet not even gone through even all.
Mel: I never said that! But if it's that what you want, it's not too late!
[Lindsay storms off. Mel follows.]
Leda: [to another d*ke] Marriage - straight people deserve it.
[Schickle's Mansion - Emmett is very pleased with the blowjob he just received.]
Emmett: Where in the world did you learn that?
George: Well, in my age technique is everything.
Emmett: Technqiue. I would call that art. That was the best oral sex I have ever had.
George: Well I still don't understand you've not in Babylon with so an old guy like me. There are always beautiful young men outside there.
Emmett: For one thing most of this beautiful young men are only interested it themselves. And for another the sex is usally so fast and inpersonally you forget you had it before you get home. So you are different. Well, I got to go. I supposed to meet the boys at Babylon.
George: Babylon?
Emmett: Yeah, it's a gay dance club.
George: I've been in a gay dance bar once.
Emmett: Once?
George: It was years ago, in San Francisco. It was so hot and such a place. So I turned around and left.
Emmett: You're tellin' me that's the only time you have ever been in a place full of queers?
George: Well, I've go in the opera of course.
Emmett: C'mon.
George: Where we're goin'?
Emmett: You are coming with me.
George: Oh no. I'm not ready.
Emmett: Honey, of course you are ready. You've been ready your entire life. You just didn't know it. C'mon, put on your dancing shoes. We are goin' to Babylon!
[Babylon. Everybody's dancing holding water bottles. Justin and Brian appear to be doing some kind of drug.]
Ted: C'mon, Mike, cheer up. It's not the end of the world.
Michael: It's just a universe. I should stay at home.
Brian: And cried yourself to sleep.
Michael: If I wanted to, yes. What the f*ck of business is yours?!
Ted: Better to join the living. Have a drink.
Justin: Have a bump.
Brian: Have a boy.
Michael: In case your forgot I've seen someone.
Justin: Ben had nothing to do it with.
Michael: [to Brian] You've trained him well.
Brian: Thanks.
Ted: The kid has a point. Not tying to knock like a marry munker.
Justin: You're guys even live together.
Brian: Yeah, cheer up yourself.
Michael: Well, that's your arrangement.
Justin: What about him?
Brian: He's too tall. Him?
Justin: He's to hairy.
Ted: It's like Goldilocks.
Brian: Hey and there dancing the Three Bears.
Justin: Or we take anyone home we both have to a complete agreement.
Ted: That's were so many couple go wrong. The one want color the other wants stripes.
Justin: There is Emmett.
Brian: Who's that guy beside him?
Justin: It's the Crypt Keeper.
Michael: I think he's just your type. Not too hairy, not too tall, just right.
[Brian is unamused. Emmett introduces George to the group.]
Emmett: Hi guys, I want you to meet my new friend, George.
George: Hey guys.
Emmett: Allowed my to introduce everyone.
George: I feel like I knows your guys already. You're Ted, am I correct?
Ted: Right.
George: The Entrepreneur. You bet I try to credit you cause your website brought us together. And you, of course, are Michael - the devoted friend.
Michael: You've told him that?
George: And Justin. If I had your courage when I was in your age what different my life would have been. And there is Brian from what Emmett tells me your of a love child of James Dean and Ayn Rand.
Brian: George, can I buy you a drink?
Emmett: No, we came here to dance! C'mon George, let's boogy.
[They enter the dance floor.]
Michael: Look at them go.
Ted: Yeah, he keep his cholosterin down.
Justin: You think they actually doing it?
Brian: Why? You got problem with older men, kid?
[On the dance floor.]
George: It's like a dream. I can't believe what I'm missin'!
Emmett: Me neither!
[On the bar]
Justin: Check out the dirty blond of the white sweater.
Brian: How you already know what I like.
Justin: Your older man always go for the same type. I'll get him.
[As Justin and the trick dive into the crowd, Justin turns and makes an excited face at Brian. Blue neon lights. Brian's on his back, sweaty in bed. Pan down his sweaty body to the head giving him...well, head. Justin's riding someone. Brian laughs]
Brian: You have great taste.
[The head pops up: it's Justin's trick.]
Guy: Thanks.
Brian: Not you, him.
[ Brian pointing at Justin, who's riding the trick.]
[Ben's listening to Michael, who's still upset about Captain Astro. They're in bed, facing the wrong way.]
Michael: First time I saw him I was 10 years old. I went out for Fisher's drugstore and there it was. "Adventures of Captain Astro". I never had heard about him. He wasn't famous as Superman or Spiderman. I think that's what attractive me. Just I was the guy whos discovered him.
Ben: Or maybe it was the giant bulges in his tights.
Michael: After I picked up I was break down. My mom yelled over the stores baker 'Michael Notovny get the ass on the check-out'. So I stuffed it in front of my cords.
Ben: You stole Captain Astro?
Michael: There wasn't extra money for comics. Since I get home I ran up in my room and finished it. It was all about that Astro would never lie or cheer or steal. Since I read that I rode back at my bike to Fisher's drugstore and I told Mr.Fisher that I swiped it. I was sure he would call the cops. But instead he reached in his pocket and hold out two quarters and he put in at the cash register and he handed me back the comic. Then I goes home. My mom was probably worried about me.
Ben: You're a good man, Michael Novotny. Even if you are a petty crook.
[He kisses Michael's head, but Michael remains motionless.]
[The Happy Fun House. Mel lowers the newspaper she's holding (it blares an Aida ad). Linds comes in with breakfast - only for herself.]
Mel: Where is mine?
[Linds says nothing. She's searching for the newspaper.]
Lindsay: Can I have the Arts and Leisure section?
Mel: I'm reading it.
Lindsay: In six years I known you never read the Arts and Leisure section.
Mel: Well, I'm reading it today.
[phone rings. Lindsay won't answer it so that Mel has to so Lindz can steal back the Arts and Leisure section. Which she does.]
Mel: Hello? Hang on, it's for you.
[Mel steals back the section.]
Lindsay: Hello? Hi mom. You have my message? That's good. But she left it to me. She wanted me to wear it. Well, it's real mean it to me, mom! And it's not your place to refused mother!
[she hangs off.]
Mel: Now what?
Lindsay: She won't let me have my granny wedding dress.
Mel: What?!
Lindsay: She said if granny knew a lesbian was wearing her dress, she'd die.
Mel: Thought she already did. Honey.
Lindsay: It meant a lot to me to get married in her dress.
[Mel kisses Lindsay's head and pulls her to her chest.]
Mel: I know baby, I know.
[Debbie's taking out the trash behind the diner wearing an "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME" t-shirt. She opens the dumpster. There's a body inside.]
Debbie: Holy shit!
[She says nothing as she looks around for somebody, anybody, to tell her what she's supposed to do next. "Uh," she says at one point. But mostly she stands and blinks as the roar of the highway rushes nearby.]
[Someone takes a photograph of the crime scene. The body is now out of the dumpster and on a stretcher.]
Cop: No wallet, no ID.
Det.Horvath: You search the dumpster?
Cop: Yeah. And there is nothing.
Det.Horvath: Search it again. [to Debbie] You mind if you ask you a few questions...[he look on her button] Debbie?
Debbie: Not if I ask you one first. What the f*ck is happen?
Det.Horvath: Looks like somebody strangled the victom and tossed him in the trash. What time do you say you found him?
Debbie: 15, 20 minutes ago. When I called you. How long do you think he's in there?
Det.Horvath: Six, seven hours from the look of it. You have seen him before?
Debbie: Yes, he...
[Justin starres at the victim.]
Debbie: [to Justin] Sunshine, don't look!
Det.Horvath: Sunshine?
Debbie: Yeah, that's what I called him. You got a problem with that?
Det.Horvath: What about him? Has he got a name?
Debbie: Spanish Omelet.
Det.Horvath: What?
Debbie: Extra crispy home fries and toasts. I only knew him by his order.
Det.Horvath: Looks like we got a Jane Doe.
Debbie: What you just say?
Det.Horvath: Cop talk.
Debbie: Oh, you know just because you found a body on Liberty Avenue doesn't give you the right to make f*g jokes. The boy in the trash was somebodies son.
Det.Horvath: Yeah, I'm sure he made his mother proud.
Debbie: Well, I'm the proud mother of a gay son. If you a h*m* prick...
Det.Horvath: The name is Horvath. H-O-R-V-A-T-H. File a complaint.
[Michael walks up with the g*ng.]
Michael: Ma, you're okay?
Debbie: [to Det.Horvath] This is my gay son, Michael. I just telling this nice officer all about you.
Ted: Jesus, what happened?
Emmett: My god, is he d*ad?
Brian: What the hell you served him, Deb?
Det.Horvath: Anyone noticed this guy?
Justin: I do. I danced with him onces in Babylon.
Det.Horvath: I don't supposed you got his name?
Justin: No...
Brian: Well, I'm starved. Let's eat.
[They walk back into the diner as the victim's body is covered.]
[Inside the diner.]
Brian: Did you see what he's wearing?
Emmett: Leather pants, t*nk top.
Brian: Yeah, my theory is who ever k*lled him want make some fashion statement.
Ted: I think it was crime of passion. His boyfriend discovered that he was unfaithful so set him out. Say, maybe tonight some secret spot. When he gets there his boyfriends steps out of shadows and strangled him.
Emmett: I think you have seen too many operas.
Ted: I'm goin' tonight, I have an extra ticket if you wanna go?
Brian: I'm rather in the dumpster.
Emmett: So what to you think he was? Who k*lled him? Do you think they had sex first?
Brian: I hope so. It's always better you come before you go.
[Emmett laughs, and we can see the bacon bits in his mouth. Debbie is pissed off by Brian's joke, and tosses the plates down.]
Brian: What's wrong with you?
Debbie: That's my question.
[Debbie looks up when she hears Michael asking another customer to sign his petition.]
Michael: Just sign here. We're gonna show them that life is valuable, gay or straight.
Debbie: Well thank goodness somebody running what happens seriously. I'm so proud of you, sweetheart.
Michael: Thanks Ma, you want to sign?
Debbie: Damn right I will. Give me that pen.
[she sees that it's a petition to bring back Captain Astro.]
Debbie: "Bring Back Captain Astro"? What the f*ck is this?
Michael: It's a petition that the publisher just bring him back.
Debbie: What is the matter with all of you? A boy was found outside d*ad! Stuffed in the garbage! Like yesterdays mash potatoes and you making a joke out of it?! Is that how little you think about his life? How little you think about your own? I expected more from you than that. A lot more. [to Michael] Especially from you. I mean when you more cared about a character in a comic book than a human being.
[She storms off. The boys quietly go back to their meals.]
[Up in the attic where Old Lesbian Artifacts and Anvils are hidden in trunks...]
Lindsay: You gonna love it strapless and tie around the waste, so buttons run about the back and small flower applicated.
Mel: What the hell...
Lindsay: What?
Mel: You just say you describing the dress for being arrange for breaking an entery.
Lindsay: I have a key from the front door.
Mel: Well let's find it and get the f*ck out of here before your parents comes home.
Lindsay: I remember it's on an old wooden trunk.
Mel: You're grandmother from a trunk?
Lindsay: My family came over on the Mayflower.
Mel: In my family 'Mayflower' is a movin' van. Oh, look what I found.
Lindsay: That's it. It's gone! Banished.
Mel: The chance your grandmother Faye is a Hudini?
Lindsay: Well she show my that dress when I was a litte girl. She always put it back in here.
Mel: All it's left are these pile papers and these letters. July 28, 1943. "Dear Faye, what a glorious day lying with you on the shore of Few Beach. Feeling this sun on my back as we both fell asleep. But Harry awesome in the Pacific all is do worried. The only time I feel save is when I'm with you. I'm always Vera."
Lindsay: "I'm always Vera".
Mel: Vera Carmichael. All of them.
Lindsay: She never mention any Vera. "December 24, 1943. Dear Faye, I'm sitting here in front of the f*re, eating cake and singing Christmas charol on the radio. Like a good housewife waiting for my husband to come home from w*r. Except it's a lie. I don't belong here all with Harry. I only was to be with you, to talk with you, to be held by you."
Mel: "Be held by you." Sounds like a hell of a friend.
Lindsay: Unless she never talked about her. "Talk with you, to be held by you, kiss you,... to make love with you."
Mel: Holy shit! Granny Faye was a...
Lindsay: d*ke.
[Schickles Mansion. George plays on the piano.]
Emmett: So Georgy, where shell we've been tonight? There is be a Contest in "The Eagle" and "What Jockstrap you believe look awesome", uh Nipple Night.
George: All sounds delightfully paste it but perhaps you should go without me.
Emmett: Well, that wouldn't be nearly as much fun. Georgie, you alright?
George: I'm fine, I'm alright, I just tired.
Emmett: Well, you need just your dance legs. What's this? [He finds an invitation on the floor.]
George: Uh, it's an invitation.
Emmett: Uh, it's pretty fance.
George: For the opera gala tonight.
Emmett: The opera. I've never been in the opera. My friend Teddy adores it.
George: You want my tickets?
Emmett: Don't you wanna go?
George: Uh, I've been there in years. Not since I came out.
Emmett: Well maybe it's time to go out.
George: No, it's too difficult, too painful. You know everyone watch me. And besides my wife Virginia guardes the door to the hall like Ceberus.
Emmett: So, what say we and go together?
George: I don't want to talk about her anymore.
Emmett: Sure, but you know what I say if somebody would try to stop me from doin' something I love.
George: f*ck 'em all?
Emmett: You got it, baby.
[Cut to Mikey's job, but nobody's working. Brian lights a candle under the cutout of Captain Astro and begins delivering a eulogy.]
Brian: He was a good man, a loving man. Everyone who knew him was moved by his kidness and generossity.
Michael: What the f*ck are you doin'?
Brian: I deliviering a hymne. Same one in fact the priester say at my father's funeral.
Michael: Well, you don't know about Captain Astro.
Brian: As much as the priester know about him.
Michael: Well then you have no right to speak for him. You think it's true?
Brian. What true?
Michael: What my mom said.
Brian: That she know that you a q*eer when you were 5 years old?
Michael: That I more care about a character in a comic book than I do about a real person.
Brian: So, what if you do?
Michael: Well, some might say my priorities would slightly f*cked up.
Brian: Yeah? But no shit. I mean you've known the Captain your entire life, you never laid eyes on dumpster boy until this morning. So how upset you supposed to do? You remembered this ret*rd Captain Astro club you start in third grade?
Michael: Yeah, you the only one who joined.
Brian: I felt sorry for you.
Michael: Yeah, thanks.
Brian: This lameless T-Shirt with Captain Astro logo you made from the market?
Michael: It rans when you sweet it.
Brian: And that was your youth, Mikey. Captain Astro was your hero. So, you mourn are you f*ck' one.
[Lesbian Letter-Reading Circle on the attic.]
Lindsay: "May 8th, 1945. Dear Faye, I'm looking out my window and I see children running down the street. They leaving little flaggs. In the distance I can hear carhorns. I guess it must be true. The day we all hoped and prayed for is finally here. The w*r is over. But we've lost. Soon Harry would come home. He wrote me that he wants to move to Fresno. Plenty of cheap lands for GIs to built houses and raised their families. I know I said when the time was came I would tell him about us but I can't. Please understand it's not because I don't love you. But I'm not as brave as you. Forgive me, Vera." She left Granny and get back to her husband.
Mel: Times are different then. So, it's what women had to do. They had no choice.
[Opera. Emmett is giving George the recap of Aida to make sure he caught everything.]
George: The point of the story is the passion transcent all of the material world.
Emmett: Well then he should go to the cock divice surgery and check out all these hunky sl*ve boys.
[Ted is shocked to see Emmett at the opera.]
Ted: I don't believe it!
Emmett: Hi Teddy.
Ted: Look at you, all spiffed up.
Emmett: Oh yeah, George got it for me. A feel like...
Ted: ...a million bucks.
Emmett: A head waiter.
George: I feel you look very handsome. As to you, Ted.
Ted: Oh, thank you, George.
Emmett: Isn't he a charmer?
George: So, enjoy you the production?
Ted: Well I'm glad I brought these [opera glasses]. From where I'm sitting it looks like singing flee circus.
Emmett: Well that's a shame. We're in the Founders' Box.
George: I hope you join us for a glas champagner.
Ted: Don't mind if I do.
Virginia: George!
George: Virginia!
Virginia: Well, it's been years since you've been here.
George: I know.
Virginia: Your looking well.
George: So are you. Well so allow me to introduce my friends, Emmett, Ted, my former wife Mrs.Hammond.
Ted: Hammond's Hams.
Virginia: That's right.
Ted: I've packed away a lot of your pork.
Virginia: So what prompted you to unexpected emerge from your self-imposed exile?
Emmett: I did. George and I are having a fabulous time. He's a wonderful companion.
Virginia: And how did you meet? Are you his hairdressers, decoreter, pool boy?
Emmett: Actually we're met on the internet. I whack off on his website. I'm the demon dick of dot-com.
Virginia: How fascinate. We must pay you quite handsome.
Emmett: Oh no. No, no. He doesn't pay me at all. I wouldn't take it when he did. The reason I'm with George is he gives spectacular head. A skill I'm certain not learning from you.
[Virginia gives the Rich Lady's Gasp as Emmett pulls Schickle back to the second act.]
Emmett: C'mon, George, we don't miss the second act.
Ted: [to Virginia] How 'bout that Verdi?
[Brian's loft. Brian and Justin are shirtless.]
Justin: You think he knew who k*lled him?
Brian: Who? Who the f*ck do I know?
Justin: Maybe we know him. Maybe we could f*cked him.
Brian: That'll be hot.
Justin: Like that guy the other night. We didn't know him. We didn't anything about him. He could have done anything to us.
Brian: The first time you came here you didn't know anything about me. And I didn't anything about you.
Justin: I was pretty sure you're gonna f*ck me.
Brian: Then what?
[Brian lowers himself to the bed. There's a pause and then Brian pounces on Justin with some force. Justin's laughing hesitantly, allowing Brian to overpower him, thr*at to choke him. ]
Brian: What if...
[Brian licks Justin's torso down to his waist, back up over his nipple and settles on his neck. His other arm pins Justin's right hand to the bed. Brian grabs Justin's neck with both hands.]
Brian: What if...I start strangled you?
[Justin gasps and struggles against Brian's hands, but he's not scared.]
Justin: I rather you choke my with your dick.
Brian: You could have been d*ad.
Justin: Cut it out.
[Brian sits up.]
Brian: You came here not knowing what gonna happen that's part of the thrill. It's what made you hard. Your hard know just thinking about it. The danger. The excitement.
Justin: [moans] f*ck me!
[George and Emmett are in the back of Schickle's limo.]
George: Don't be so upset. The seal of this opera is their love will live on all eternity.
Emmett: I don't care about them. It's you.
George: Me?
Emmett: I never should have talked to your wife that way. I didn't mean so such a nasty queen. Now thanks to me we are banish from the opera for all eternity.
George: Thanks to you I'm planning to attend every opening this season. Hopfully with my hunky sl*ve boy on my side.
Emmett: You're not angry?
George: Angry? I never saw Virginia open her mouth that wide. Who know maybe if she did, we'd still be together. Oh god, what a revelation you are. In the past few weeks alone than I have in the past... years.
Emmett: So what's the next time you do?
George: Rigoletto.
[Mel and Linds House. Mel's coming downwards.]
Mel: You're coming to bed?
Lindsay: In a minute. There is one more letter.
Mel: It's never been opened. "Dear Faye. I known it's been years since I written you. Harry died last week. We are married for 50 years. It's a good marriage. We shared my things. But at the funeral I could stop thinking what different my life would have been if... if what? If I had the courage to say yes, to be honest. To express what I truly felt like the time we share the day at the Shore Beach. I've always loved you Faye. And even known it's been a lifetime I want you to know I still to. You're always were and always will be my true love. Vera."
Lindsay: March 10th, 1994.
Mel: So?
Lindsay: Granny Faye died in 1992.
Mel: She never got to read it.
Lindsay: Or know that Vera always loved her.
Mel: I'm suddenly in the mood for surf and turf.
Lindsay: You are?
Mel: I said we go for the menu.
Lindsay: It's much money. We could land in the poorhouse.
Mel: It's our special day. Besides Grannie Faye would have wanted us to.
[Michael stands on a rooftop overlooking Babylon. He's depressed. Ben's on the rooftop.]
Ben: Checking out the action?
Michael: Everything is the same. Business as usual.
Ben: What did you expect?
Michael: That things would stopped, or even for one night. That would be a protest or candle light vigil or something.
Ben: They don't think about it. Or gay-bashing or AIDS or getting the other shit we all have to live with.
Michael: So we're supposed to go on the same way? Dancing, drinking, doin' drugs, getting dick sucked? He deserves to be remembered. At least for a minute.
Ben: I tell you what. We have our own candle light vigil.
Michael: It's awesome.
Ben: Turn it off. Open that door.
Michael: Any moment anyone of us pick up the wrong guy or get in the wrong plane or step off the curb just as the bus is barelin down the street. You ever get scared?
Ben: Well then I meditate. I do Yoga and excerciece like a vient. I free my mind 30 seconds, it's worth them. I have someone to hold at night helps as well.
[Michael smiles. Ben puts his arm around him.]
[Outside Babylon. Brian has picked up a trick. Justin follows.]
Justin: Hey, where d'you goin'?
Brian: Uh, Tony, Tommy, Timmy here's invited me over to his house to see his stamp collection.
Justin: You're don't even know his name. What's your name?
Tony/Tommy/Timmy: What's it to you?
Justin: [to Brian] C'mon, let's go home.
Brian: Are you scarin' I got m*rder?
Justin: Brian, please!
Brian: It's never been a hard time to f*ck a stranger.
Tony/Tommy/Timmy: Hey, we're young?
Brian: I'll be alright.
[Brian and TommyTonyTimmy walk into pink fog very slowly as Chemical Brothers blast # Song Out Of Control] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x10 - Priorities, Please! (b*at the Time)"} | foreverdreaming |
[Bachelorette party. Mel and Lindz drink beers and whoop it up. Someone's playing with f*re. Girls dance with their titties out. Leda raises a sh*t to them. Girls dance wearing strap-ons. Half-naked girls make out. Someone pours a sh*t over a dildo. She sucks off the girl's strap-on. Mel and Lindz just point and stare. Leda is also fully clothed. She walks over to Mel and Lindz.]
Leda: Having fun?
Mel: Oh, it's amazing.
Lindsay: I didn't realized that this party are this wild.
Leda: It's a warm-up for your honeymoon. C'mon, follow the Leda.
[Leda pulls Mel and Lindz up to a bar.]
Mysterious Marilyn: Is this the happy couple?
Leda: Sick, isn't it? Their want their fortune cards.
Mysterious Marilyn: Please, am I not a gipsy queen. I am a trained tarotion. So, should we see what the cards have stored?
[The girls both touch the cards, and Marilyn goes to work flipping cards on the table and murmuring, "Uh huh."]
Mysterious Marilyn: When is the special day?
Mel: This saturday.
Mysterious Marilyn: Oh, oh.
Mel: What?
Mysterious Marilyn: I'm sorry girls, but can't possible get married this saturday. Didn't you know? Mercury is in retrograde. A time of an extreme imbalance in the universe. Like the evil, miss communication, missunderstandings, resulting, inserious discord for everyone.
Mel: Yeah, does it rain?
Mysterious Marilyn: No, it will be a total disaster. But on a positive note, you'll redecorate your dining room around June in aqua and maroon and it will be stunning.
[Cut to a pinball machine, where Michael's playing a mean pinball.]
Michael: So, we have two d*ke who have everything!
Brian: d*ke don't have everything. That's why they're so miserable.
Michael: I can't buy them a penis transplantation. It's a little pricy for a poor shoppeople like myself.
Ted: Silver plated dental dams?
Emmett: Two a specially-engraved double-headed dildo?
Ben: How about stemware?
Emmett: Honey, dildos are stemware.
Justin: A water buffalo.
Michael: What?
Justin: Lesbians are into endangered species.
Brian: Yeah, unfortunately they are one of them.
Michael: We need to get something that shows we cared, something special.
Emmett: Well, I go shopping with you but I'm actually picking up a very special gift for myself. Yes, boys, I have finally saved up enough cash whacking away at Teddy's website to buy my this brand new ass that I want it.
Michael: You really getting plastic surgery?
Ted: You could end up the next cosmetic victom.
Ben: Yeah it's true, what if they make a mistake?
Brian: Yeah, like axing away your assh*le?
Emmett: Well, you have to chew me a new one. You so good at it.
Ben: At least wait a week until Mercury's out of retrograde.
Justin: What? You actually believing that shit?
Ben: There are evidence that upheavals in the solar system can affect Earth.
Brian: Blaming the planets for your f*ck-ups is just an excuse to not to accept responsibility.
[The power goes out for a second, but it's not God punishing Brian. It's the hot bartender, who's ready to announce the winner of a charity raffle.]
Bartender: Gentlemen, it's time to pick the winner of the Liberty Avenue AIDS hospice charity raffle. Someones gets an all-expense-paid trip for two for this weekend for a "White Party" to Miami! And the luckiest trick in Pittsburgh is...Brian Kinney.
Brian: I don't know. The planets don't seem to be f*cking with me.
Michael: Oh yeah, how you planed go away and still here to Mel and Lindsay's wedding?
[Brian shrugs and walks up to accept his prize.]
[Debbie's House.]
Vic: Oh, no.
[Mikey stops plunging the sink so that he and Debbie can run over.]
Debbie: Vic? What's that matter?
Michael: You okay, Uncle Vic?
Vic: See for yourself.
Debbie: They taken your disability benefits away?
Vic: And if they take it away there goes my share of our monthly income.
Debbie: Goddamit. What's kind of f*cked universe would snatch my brother from the Joseph Dep only they take away our house and home!
Michael: Ben says it has something to do with Mercury.
Debbie: Oh, does he?
Michael: Look, don't panic! I can help out.
Vic: No! Michael, this is a sign. If I lose my benefits then...I'll just have to get back to work.
Michael: Are you sure?
Vic: Once upon a time I was a very decent chef.
Debbie: Decent? Decent? Huh! He was another Sara Lee.
Vic: I'll take that as a compliment I'm sure as was intend it. It will be tricky finding someone to hire me.
Michael: Well, we have a lot restaurants.
Vic: There is a lot of chefs. I'm rusty with old skill. And if they find out why I haven't been working there will stop it.
Debbie: Would you stop talking yourself out of a job before you get one. What if I get you a shift at the diner? We could work together. [Vic laughs] C'mon.
[Emmett is having his ass consultation.]
Doc: In selecting your idea it's very important that you will be happy with your choice. Since it will be following you around for a long, long time. Our catalog will help.
Emmett: Thanks. Wow, so many choose from. God, I never can be decide.
Doc: Well, sometimes it helps to see them in the flesh. My staff haved worked on it and is more than willing to show you our popular models.
Emmett: Somebody loves his job.
Doc: When you work in a bakery, it's hard to resist the buns. Gerald, tell the boys to come in.
[Marching drum music kicks in as three men in matching khaki uniforms line up and shut the office door.]
Doc: Mr.Honeycutt have difficult to make up his mind.
[The boys all drop their pants.]
Emmett: Wow, there also beautiful.
Doc: I also did them all myself. Now also did their asses. So, did a close look. Feel free to touch. Firm flexibility are key factores.
Emmett: Hello georcious, it's a great gift. You could stretch it out and it still hold the shape. God, there also tempting, Dr.Beamer. But I don't know how it look good on me.
Doc: If you prefer, we could do a custome design, of course this would be extra.
Emmett: And that is not the time to sit on wallet. Let's do it.
Doc: Good!
[Mel's on the phone with someone who has lost an order.]
Mel: We faxed our orders weeks ago. Weeks ago! Many ago! Look, is someonethere who speaks English as a first language? Oh, Lindsay! Gus just eating the seating plan! What do you going to served my twenty-four no-date, kosher guests?
[Lindsay's hyperventilating. Mel hangs up on the person she's been insulting and comes over to Lindsay's side.]
Mel: Sweetheart, oh my god.
Lindsay: [gasps] Help... panic... att*ck!
Mel: Oh, my god!
Lindsay: I...look... I can't even put on my shoe!
[Mel dumps a bunch of toys off the couch and sits Lindsay down.]
Lindsay: I'm not gonna get into my dress!
[Brian comes in.]
Brian: I thoughed we agreed no lesbo sex in front of the kid.
Mel and Linds: f*ck off, Brian!
Brian: Fine, I comes by to let you know that I can't come to the wedding. I go to the White Party in Miami instead. Later.
Lindsay: You can't ditch my special day!
Mel: You are a selfish prick!
Brian: As usuall objectivity follows to me, think. You don't really want me to be there. I'll be drunk, I'll be bored, not to mention better looking than the brides. And whatever I'll f*ck every guy, gay, straight, finally I pass out naked bitching you. You loose your dignity, your friends and your shirts. Well, I'm doing you a favor when I'm going out of town.
Lindsay and Mel: Have a safe trip!
[Ted and Michael are goin' down Liberty Avenue looking for a wedding present.]
Ted: I can't go on. We've walked about half of hundred blocks and a hundred hours...
Michael: Like two blocks and eleven minutes.
Ted: It seems a lot longer when you shopping for lesbians.
Michael: I still say a wedding gift should be romantic, you know like this.
Ted: Lingerie? I thought you said romantic. You wanna get two d*ke a romantic gift? Get them this.
Michael: Power tools? That's romentic?
Ted: For d*ke they are. Oh for only $409 these beauties are steel.
Michael: Only? I'm can barely afford a screw.
Ted: Well fortunately you have Ben. I'll covered and we say it's from both of us.
Michael: I can't let you do this.
Ted: I can afford it. I've got to go back to the studio. We got a threeway at half past four or was it a fourway at half past three? Here, take this.
Michael: What I am supposed to get? The power tools or the lingerie?
Ted: You decide. Whatever you pick I'm sure it'll be the perfect gift. Bye.
[Michael's about to walk into the power tools store when some music from The Lion King starts up and Michael's mysteriously drawn to an alley. There's a Jamaican-kinda man in the alley. He's got a blanket covered with statues.]
Man: Hello mon. Welcome. Come take a lookie.
Michael: These are amazing! Where they are from?
Man: From a little country of Africa, right next to Chad, called Chuck. My people lived up there for centuries in peace and harmony, making love and art.
[Michael's drawn to one particular female statue that's got drooping titties down to her ankles.]
Man: Isn't she beautiful? Her name is Chasorey - God of Love and Pray.
Michael: How much is she?
Man: 600.
Michael: I only have five.
Man: There will be six hundred Chuck Dollars is five hundred america dollar.
[Brian's loft. Brian's going through his wardrobe looking for the perfect clothes to the White Party.]
Brian: Competition, world class. Wardrobe crucial, zero. So long Pittsburgh, hello Miami Vice.
[Brian throws the clothes at Justin, who's laying on the bed.]
Justin: I thoughed all-expense-paid f*ck was just for the weekend.
Brian: Well each party has his own theme. And it's a strickt dress code. The White Party - 15.000 horny q*eer all in white.
Justin: I'll be busy too. I pay due paperwork in art.
Brian: Then there is the muscle beach party.
Justin: Then I go to the laundry and of course the wedding.
Brian: And don't forget the Cabana boy contest.
Justin: I have to remember to write my grandmother.
Brian: f*ck! I've got dicks all along out on bash.
Justin: We've even need clothes buy then?
Brian: I left you a ticket on the sale bar.
Justin: You're taking me?
Brian: You can tear yourself from grannys letter.
Justin: Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Shit! What I'm gonna wear?
[Babylon. Hot kissing dancing guys. Our boys are simply staring at their places on the catwalk.]
Michael: You are not gonna believe what I've got, what we've got them.
Ted: What? What is it?
Michael: It's a surprise. [to Brian] What you get them?
Brian: The best gift of all - my absence.
Emmett: Allright judges, I'm gonna need a final decision. Which of the following three choices will it be?
[Emmett brings three pictures of his potential fake ass.]
Ben: If you choose number one, it will be exactly like Michael.
Brian: If you take number two you looked like the rear-end of a '72 Impala.
Ted: Number three is pert and perky, but probably too small for the rest of your features.
Emmett: Perhaps I need an artists opinion. Justin, which do you find to be the most estheticly pleasing?
Justin: This one. It's a great function into the hole and the same time with a good taste.
Brian: He doesn't want an ass with good taste; he wants an ass that tastes good.
Emmett: [to Justin] Thank you, sweetheart. Well boys, shall we dance?
Brian: I need my rest for the White Party.
Ted: Now you're over thirty, should should go to the Grey Party?
Michael: I thought you should go to Mel and Lindsay's wedding.
Brian: You're be there. You can cry for both of us.
[Brian walks off. Michael follows. Ben just stands there, getting as ignored as any of Michael's previous boyfriends. On the stairs, Michael and Brian, both all alone.]
Michael: You know, everytimes something big happens, my f*cking thirties birthday party, we're loose of Brian Kinney's bail. Why is that?
Brian: Well that's a retorable question, not you got an answer.
Michael: You know what I think it is? I think you afraid to let anyone know that you loved that. That you have feelings like the rest of us. It's okay to be human, you know.
Brian: OK. You know the reason why I bail? The truth is I rather get laid. Are you done?
[Brian plants a big one on Michael's mouth and then leaves.]
Ben: He always kiss you like that?
Michael: About four times a year, usually when he's really drunk or he wants me to shut up.
[Liberty Diner. Debbie's teaching Vic how to take an order.]
Debbie: I stick it, and spin. OK? Now when it's ready, you plaid them, you drop the tab on the dish, you throw it here and then you ring the bell. Got it?
Vic: Stick it, spin them, drop it.
Debbie: What I tell you? Shorter and you will be on the chef!
Vic: Just faster!
Debbie: Hey, we've got hustler in our blood. OK, I'm gonna give you a first tip - no matter what happens don't panic. Just take your time. OK? Your worst is f*cking good enough for this job. OK?
[A pouty Mel and Lindz walk into the diner and plop down on some stools.]
Mel: Hey Debbie, we need a couples black coffees to go.
Lindsay: They were special engraved with our names on them and everything.
Debbie: I hate to tell you girls, but for the happy couple your looking miserable.
Mel: Rosenbergs juwelers called. They can't find our wedding rings.
Justin: You can use my nipple rings. There very valuable to me.
Lindsay: Thanks honey, but it wouldn't be the same.
Mel: Listen, we're not going to let Mercury or anything else to f*ck up our wedding. Everythings go ahead as planned.
Justin: Not exactly everything.
Lindsay: More "good" news?
Justin: Brian invited me to the White Party.
Debbie: And you said?!
Justin: That I go? It's a once in a life-time thing!
Debbie: So is getting married. Of course there are no hot bodies, no drugs, no dotzen dicks. Just two people saying "I do". You right. How could it possibly compare?!
Lindsay: It's okay. After all Justin went through.
Mel: He deserves a break. Have a great time.
[Outside the diner.]
Mel: Oh that f*cking Brian! Is not bad enough he's not coming he have to pull back our ring bearer as well.
Lindsay: It doesn't matter. We don't have rings.
[Linds cell phone rings.]
Lindsay: Hello? I'm sorry what?!
Mel: It must be the caterer. Listen, your bleeding assh*le! I'm a lawyer, we have a contract. We'll sue. Oh, that word you understand. [she hangs up]
Lindsay: Something wrong?
Mel: The caterer and the hall have been shut down by the health department for salmonella poisoning.
Lindsay: Oh, is that all?
[Lindsay gets another panic att*ck and has to lie down on a bus bench that advertises a funeral home.]
[Ted's p*rn Imperium. Michael shows Ted his gift for the wedding.]
Ted: You spend $500, my $500 on that?!
Michael: It was a steal.
Ted: Yeah, and I'm the one who got robbed! Just take it back.
Michael: I can't take it back.
Ted: What store you have buy that?
Michael: I don't get in from a store.
Ted: Were did you get it?
Michael: From a blanket.
Ted: A blanket?! You bought Lindsay's and Melanie's wedding gift from some streetcorner cheister?!
Michael: It's from Chuck. It's a little country next the Chad.
Ted: Chuck! Chad! They sound like a couple of h*m*!
Michael: It's the perfect gift!
Ted: Perfectly hideous.
Michael: It's a work of art.
Ted: It's a piece of shit!
Michael: It's symbolic of love and pride.
Ted: It's symbolic of stupidity and bad taste.
Michael: You take that back!
Ted: I can't! I got it off a bwaaan-ket!
Michael: Look, the next time you wanna buy a gift buy it yourself!
Ted: That is why I'm coming you for!
Michael: You're too busy to bringing joy through the world!
Ted: Yeah, that's why I'm success!
Michael: You can take your success and shove it and I'm sure you won't have any trouble figuring out where.
Ted: Yeah! I'll just ask Chuck and Chad!
[Emmett and Schickle are swimming in Schickle's private pool.]
Emmett: Sorry George, I made up my mind.
George: But you have such a beautiful bottom. I said, besides you are too young. Plastic surgery is for foolish old man or refuse to old grace.
Emmett: What about Michael Jackson? And Elizabeth Taylor? And Cher?
George: Well, I can't speak for their backside, only yours.
Emmett: Thank you. But in my world, if you don't look like a stepped out Calvin Klein underwear ad, you're nothing.
George: Well, that's a world so unhappy to know.
Emmett: Not to mention it make me feel better by myself. You know, raise my self-esteem
George: My wife Virginia feeled simerarely. Sheself zipped and clipped and it should be change her life to.
Emmett: And did it?
George: She was the same miserable c**t she always was, only without the rankles. Emmett, forgive me. But anyone who valuells himself because of their ass, is an ass.
[Diner. Chaos. Debbie's trying to placate everyone.]
Debbie: I'm so sorry you still waiting. More coffee? It's on the house. You're order is next, I promise you.
Guest: All I want is a hamburger!
Debbie: Your order has been abducted by aliens, so don't give me those dirty looks!
[There's a shattering noise from the kitchen as an extra tries to talk to Debbie. Debbie's banging the bell trying to get Vic's attention.]
Debbie: Hey, I got orders coming out of my ass! A hungry h*m* and don't a clean place to order my set up! What in the f*ck is goin' on back here?!
Vic: You don't to have yell, I'm right here.
Debbie: You think you could do a grilled cheese in under an hour?!
Vic: You told me to take my time.
Debbie: I didn't mean your f*cking life-time!
Vic: I can't do it!
Debbie: Where you goin'?
Vic: Home.
Debbie: You can't let me here like this!
Vic: You're better off. I'm useless. I'm worse than useless. I'm ridiculous!
[Mel and Lindsays living room.]
Mel: Honey. There is no way we can squeeze that many guests into a house.
Lindsay: Baby. We could move all of the furniture into the garage.
Mel: Lambskin. You'd have my thousand-year-old aunt stand all night.
Lindsay: Puddin' pie. She has a walker. She can lean.
Mel: And what if somehow, my little love button, we manage to overcome the laws of physical science and pack them all in. What the f*ck are they going to see besides each other's nose hair?
Lindsay: You're not even trying to make this work.
Mel: And you're not even trying to make sense!
Lindsay: There's no need to be abusive.
Mel: I wasn't being abusive. I was merely expressing frustration.
Lindsay: So now I'm frustrating?
Mel: I didn't say that! Ugh!
[Leda shows up with the dry cleaning which is of course f*cked up.]
Leda: Leda's, here. Your's Mel. And what was your's Linds. Apparently the dry cleaning solution was to...
Lindsay: There's...no need to explain. At this point in the plot, we all get it.
Leda: But the good news is they give you one hundred dollars in the coupons.
Lindsay: Hurray!
Mel: We will find you something else to wear, Boo boo. And we will have our special f*cking day, goddammit. Even if we have to do it nude in the backyard.
[Instead they just cue the thunderstorm. Gus cries.]
Lindsay: Or maybe we can face reality. I think Mysterious Marelyn was right.
Leda: Not that Mercury in retrograde shit again!
Lindsay: Our wedding is been methodicly insisted deconstruct it. If you ask me, somebody up there doesn't think we should get married. Maybe there's a reason. Maybe that's because people like us aren't supposed to get married.
Mel: Like us?
Lindsay: Do you need roof to cave in?
[Brian's in a tanning bed. The door yanks open. The camera focuses on a sobbing Melanie.]
Brian: I'm reminded on a scene from "Alien". One of the great AIDS metaphor flicks of all time. A intrappted intergalaxtical carbige collectors led by über-bitch d*ke. They sleep on their way back home as suddenly the monsters appears.
Mel: [cries] The wedding's off.
Brian: You two finally come to your senses? That's almost reason to end up by my basecoats.
Mel: It's because of Lindsay. She... She...
Brian: She what?
Mel: It's all... Mysterious Marilyn... Mercury in retrograde... and the rings... and the foot... and the hall... and the dress. She thinks the wedding's not supposed to happen because...because we're gaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Brian: Christ! Send in a f*g to do a d*ke's work.
[everyone's waiting at Brian's apartment while he's still putting on a robe.]
Brian: We have precisely twenty-one hours to get the munchers married.
[All chatters together.]
Brian: Nobody knows wedding should be get queers but we're the florist, the caterist, the planners, the designers, the servers, the formers, even the f*cking priests.
Justin: The means himself.
Brian: When everybody can do it, we're can and we will and time for me to make my flight.
Ted: Don't you think this is a awfully imbishes?
Michael: Want you leave it up everybody else to critizise.
Ted: If we left it up to you, they be getting married on a blanket on a street corner.
Brian: Yo, bitch, telling these later? I don't care how you do it but you two are responisble for staffing and flowers and decoration. Emmett, you find us a place.
Emmett: Oh, how about the Liberty Bath? They have a fabulous partyroom.
Brian: Deb, you pulled together something to wear?
Debbie: I'd loved to. Oh, I can just see it with some flowers and bows and ribbons and squirrel tails... [Brian give her a look] Maybe more simple.
Brian: Vic, you're up for the cake.
Vic: My cooking's a recipe for disaster.
Debbie: He'd be great! If they were getting married a year from now.
Justin: Don't worry Vic, I help you.
Brian: OK, great. Get to work.
Ted: Hold on Kinney, what are you doin'?
Brian: I'm getting my beauty rest. Goodbye!
[Michael follows Brian into his bedroom.]
Brian: Not tonight, dear . I'm saving myself to Miami.
Michael: Correct me if I'm wrong I thoughed you don't give a shit about your friends. You only care about getting laid.
Brian: I never will hear the word "wedding" again.
Michael: You're pathetic! [He kisses Brian]
[George and Emmett in his place.]
Emmett: Uh, hello. Zanzibar? Yes, I'd like to book a wedding on a private room? You can? Oh, you can?! Oh, wonderful. OK. That will be for about eighty. Tonight. [you can hear the laughter from the other end]
George: Any luck?
Emmett: I have tried A-Z. I'm afraid there is no such thing as an instant wedding.
George: If I may made a suggestion?
Emmett: Be my wedding guest.
George: Well, it's nothing trendy but the price is right.
[Big, giant empty ballroom that's in a wing of George's mansion.]
Emmett: Holy Xanadu.
George: Well, it was only used for my daughter's wedding. Frankie.
Emmett: Frankie?
George: Yeah Virginia named her after have a modern product. It was one of the heaviest days in my life.
Emmett: Well, sounds to my, honey, this place is do for a party.
George: I can't think of a more appropriated occasion of your friends wedding. I filled this room with exotic flowers. I'll bring Pittsburghs symphony.
Emmett: That's very kind, as usual, but I kinda take this all by myself. To give Mel and Lindsay's the most fabulous wedding two girls ever had.
George: That's also very kind, as usual. How can you afford it?
Emmett: My tush found.
George: Your burst your bubble butt dream?
Emmett: Well, if you don't mind to bump your eye so I think this think are goes a few more miles. Thank you. Now, I have only hours ago!
[Debb's house. Debbie sewing. Vic and Justin are in the kitchen. Vic breaks an egg and curses.]
Vic: Oh shit!
Debbie: What happened?
Vic: Nothing!
[Vic breaks something else and curses again.]
Vic: f*ck!
Debbie: Now what?!
Justin: It's me, Deb! I'm a fool.
Vic: You think I never set a foot in the kitchen before.
Justin: Just need to relax.
Vic: It's more than that. I've been out of the world too long, I can't go back.
Debbie: You're right, you can't. Christ would you look at this mess! You are the f*cking sadest horrored- luck case I have ever seen!
Justin: Debbie!
Debbie: Get back in your room. Or better get find a train to fall under. At least I get the insurance. Sunshine, get your jacket, let's go.
Vic: Where are you goin'?
Debbie: Where did you think? To the bakery. You're promised the girls a wedding cake, didn't you?
Vic: You can't just go into a bakery any buy a wedding cake! There aren't special!
Debbie: So we'll gettin' a bon voyage cake or a birthday cake or a f*cking bar mizvah cake! Any cake are be better than a dry-out brick that your doin'!
Vic: How dare are you calling my hazelnut buttercreme a dry-out brick?!
[Debbie goes to the hall. Vic begins to work and Justin follows Debbie.]
Justin: You did all that on purpose, didn't you?
Debbie: How did you think I got him to live in the first place? I skip screaming, 'so f*cked and die already'. It's worth like a charme.
Justin: He never figured it out?
Debbie: Apparently not.
Vic: [screams] Justin I need these eggs white beatin'!
Debbie: And as for you, you're not being another Brian Kinney? Always running away from love you have never attord then you go to Miami and f*ck your little twinkie brains out. But it's never get you happy!
Justin: Nice try, Debbie.
Debbie: Wait a minute! Alright, you're under me. But one day you're gonna look back and you regret that you don't go to the wedding. With your family. And that's the truth, Sunshine. That's the truth.
[Mel and Linds bedroom. Mel's opening curtains, blasting the bedroom in sunlight.]
Mel: French Toast with fresh strawberries, bacon crumbles and maple syrup, coffee made with the really good beans, and peaches peeled because the fuzz makes Lindsay's teeth itch.
Lindsay: No thanks.
Mel: Baby please, you have to eat.
Lindsay: What for?
Mel: Maybe to keep your strength up to feel miserable. Have a strawberry.
Lindsay: No!
Mel: C'mon, Lulu.
Lindsay: Stop it!
Mel: Stop what?
Lindsay: Being so sweet!
Mel: I can't help it, impulsive-adorable disorder.
[Brian just walks in.]
Brian: Alright, get up!
Mel: What the f*ck are you doin' here?
Brian: C'mon, move your asses!
Lindsay: What for?
Brian: You getting married.
[Brian pulls up in his Jeep at the Schickle mansion. Emmett, George, and two servants greet the ladies.]
Brian: C'mon, get up! Move on. Get up!
Emmett: Miss Marcus, Miss Petersen? Welcome to your wedding. Let me to introduce our greacuest host my dear-dear friend George Schickle.
Mel and Lindsay: Oh Schickle Pickles?
George: The pleasure is mine and my home is yours today.
Brian: OK, enough chat. Go and made make up and hair.
[Ted's decorating a table and Mikey brings the ugly statue in that room.]
Ted: No, no, no, no. You're not bringing this hides thing in here!
Michael: I certainly I am.
Ted: Not if I have anything to say about it!
Michael: Who gives a shit what you have to say about it?
Ted: I'm the one who pay for this waste of wood.
Michael: Don't worry about it. I'm paying you back and I'm gonna give this the girls myself! What do you think about that?!
Ted: I think you're an idiot for picking this in the first place.
Michael: And you are a dickheat for make me feel like an idiot.
Emmett: Boys, boys, we're still discuss about this statue? God, she must been by doctor Beamer.
Ted: Yeah see? Emmett agree it's a joke!
Emmett: I didn't say that. Other will say it's not worth destroying your friendship over.
[The dressing room.]
Mel: No, Debbie, I can do my own hair!
Debbie: I can tell. You need more Bella Donna less Bitchy Boochy.
Mel: Next thing you said I end up in a pony bra and lipliner.
[Brian walks in, and the girls squeal like he's the groom.]
Mel and Lindsay: Brian!
Brian: I the one who should screaming.
Debbie: Aren't you supposed to be off somewhere, sticking your... pena in some...colada?
Brian: I need a few minutes with the brides? Alone.
Debbie: You make this fast? I get them dressed.
[Debbie leaves the room.]
Mel: I hear your the one who's responsible for this?
Brian: I would say a lying assh*le who told you this. Here. [he tosses a box to Lindsay]
Mel: Oh Brian, exact like the ones who have lost!
Lindsay: Complete with the inscription!
[She kisses Brian, and Mel gives Brian a couple of punches to the arm to show him how cool she thinks he's being.]
Brian: Hey, don't get moist.
Mel: I'm gonna call the sitter to make sure Gus is alright.
[Lindsay takes this moment to put on her wedding gown.]
Lindsay: I can't believe the guys did this in the last minute. So, you packed?
Brian: Two pays undeeds.
Lindsay: Excited?
Brian: My pecker's all a-twitter.
Lindsay: Here, help my unbotton this. Isn't it amazing? Debbie just whipped it up. With the help of some mice and bluebirds.
Brian: Oh, yeah. I'm sorry I don't be there and see you.
Lindsay: No, you're not! I'm sure you're have a fabulous time. Hey, we're both are in white! Just be careful.
[Brian hands her two tickets.]
Brian: Lindsay. It's your wedding present. All-expense-paid trip for two to Miami. Trade it in for a later flight. Have a honeymoon, I'll take care of Gus.
Lindsay: But you don't wanna be here. You said yourself you get drunk, make a scene, pass out.
Brian: Would you take those f*cking tickets?
Lindsay: No! I want you to go! It would'nt be right for you to stay. Brian Kinney sacrifising for others, trapped in a hideous display of sentimentality. It would loose our faith, our hope. What kind of gift is that? I want you to f*ck lots of beautiful guys. No apologies. No regrets. It's the best gift you could give me, knowing you're happy.
[Brian kisses Lindsay for a long time. Brian leaves to room.]
Lindsay: I love you too, Brian.
[Justin and Brian walk through the mansion.]
Justin: This marriage stuff is kinda cool. I was thinking. Maybe some day...
Brian: What? You and I?
Justin: Yeah, strange things could happen.
Brian: Not really. But you need a f*cking at the beach.
Justin: Hey, I can't go.
Brian: You forget your underwear?
Justin: I wanna go to the wedding.
Brian: For Lindsay and Melanie?
Justin: For me. I want to be a part of it. I wanna see their faces when they say 'I do.' Give Emmett clinex, consult Debbie. You know she's gonna be a mess.
Brian: So, you standing me up to see two d*ke tie an eye?
Justin: Yeah, I guess I am. Your angry?
Brian: I think you are a selfish, heartless assh*le. Keep up the good work.
[The wedding room. Michael and Ted glare at each other from the congregation. Mel and Lindz walk in together, holding hands. Mel's in a disco tux; the shirt is silk and totally unbuttoned. Everyone turns and murmurs. Justin wears a blue shirt. Mel and Lindz stand under the Chupah as the non-denominational woman prepares to start the ceremony.]
woman: Friends, family, welcome to the celebration of a loving life-time commitment of Melanie and Lindsay. They've ask me to thank you for beginnig witness todays ceremony and to join them in recognizing it as true and finding expression of their devotion to there other. Melanie.
Mel: Honey. I wasn't sure we'd make it here today. But thanks to our friends -- or, I should say, our family -- not even the stars or the planets could keep us from exchanging our vows. I love you, Lindsay Peterson. I will fight for you. I will protect you. You are my Beschert.
woman: Lindsay.
Lindsay: Melanie, with so much love and support around us, I really do believe there is no obstacle, no problem we can't overcome together in friendship and in love. Our hearts will be eternally united. I love you, Melanie Marcus.
woman: May I have the rings?
[Justin gives Lindsay and Melanie the rings as Ben puts his arm around Michael.]
woman: Melanie, do you take Lindsay to be your wife?
Mel: I do.
woman: Lindsay, do you take Melanie to be your wife?
Lindsay: I do.
woman: By the power who invested in me, by the love of those symbol I declare to the world that you are married in our eyes. You can seal this with a little suck-face.
[The girls kiss without tongue as some music starts up. Everyone stands and applauds. Michael and Ted make up.]
Ted: I was wrong. It was the perfect gift.
Michael: It's a piece of shit.
Ted: It's work of art.
Michael: What they are gonna do with an africaan lovecut?
Ted: They are look at it and say, 'our friends Michael and Ted give that to us because their love us.'
Michael: And then they'll stick it in the garage.
Ted: Yeah, they'll stick it in the garage.
[Mel and Lindz feed each other cake. Two brides on top of that one.]
Vic: Isn't this cake a h*t?
Debbie: I never had a doubt.
Vic: For a while I wasn't sure I had the right ingreedience.
Emmett: Attention... attention everyone. As official misstress of ceremonies it is my pleasure to announce the throwing of the bouquet. You know the drill. Your catch it, your next.
[Everyone gets ready. Justin and Emmett fight for positioning. Lindsay throws...]
[...and Brian catches it at the White Party in Miami. It's Babylon with a different scrim dropped in the background with fake palm trees lining the dance floor. We watch a drag queen dressed in a wedding gown dance in the glitter. She throws a kiss at us.]
Music: # Let the Music Use You Up from Celeda
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x11 - The Wedding"} | foreverdreaming |
[We open with just blue lights and mostly naked, mostly wet men. Wet chests. Flashing lights. A man who looks suspiciously like a woman. Wet. Naked. The only not naked guy in the entire building is Michael.]
Michael: You know, it's gonna happen.
Ben: What's gonna happen?
Michael: That we're gonna go back to your place.
Ben: Yeah?
Michael: And then I rip off your clothes.
Ben: Sounds good, after that?
Michael: I rip my opinion like wrestle-mania. Let's just dance the bitching match. I work with my tongue down...
Ben: Why?
Michael: Why gonna this far?
Ben: OK. I say let's get out of here and f*ck.
Michael: Well, that's my fantasy anytime. [He looking to Brian] Brian! You're back. How was Miami?
Brian: It rained every day and I never left the hotel.
Ben: Uh, that White Party was a real success.
Brian: [to Ben] Not as good as the one a couple of years ago.
Ben: Yeah.
Michael: You two are at the White Party together?
Brian: A long time before Pittsburgh.
Ben: Yeah, I was there to a research for a paper. "The Influrences of Tribal Ritual On q*eer Cultures Yet."
Michael: C'mon, do you want talk or dance?
Ben: Let's dance.
[Justin follows Brian over to the bar wearing a very knowing look.]
Brian: What?
Justin: You f*cked him, didn't you?
Brian: Who?
Justin: Who do you think? Ben.
Brian: Where did you that idea?
Justin: He's only, like, the hottest guy I've ever seen. How many times did you f*ck him? I want numbers and positions.
Brian: Once...twice.
Justin: I'm getting hard just thinking about it. How come you haven't told Michael?
Brian: It's the first rule of Gay Etiquette is never talk about your past f*ck. Especially when your past f*ck is your best friends current f*ck.
[Justin just nods. The camera pans over to Ben giving Michael the Heimlich Maneuver to a b*at.]
[Emmett and Ted are at a fancy soiree. Ted is pointing out the who's who of the hoity-toity gay community.]
Ted: He is the biggest gay loffer in town who represents everybody. He's a doctor. Own that big medical group. He's the head of the Gay Business Association. You see him? He is the co-sponors the AIDS pride every year.
Emmett: You're like a groupy on a rock concert. How do you know all these people?
Ted: I don't. But I want to. They are the créme de la créme of Gay Pittsburgh society.
Emmett: The A Gays.
Ted: That's a vulgar term.
Emmett: I'm a vulgar girl.
Ted: What's wrong when one is associate with the higher class of people?
Emmett: What's wrong with the group you are currently associate with?
Ted: It will be a whole step up when I accepted by them. Chance to make significant contacts. Get the best seats to the Bernadette Peters concert. [Ted frowns] God, it's Garth Racine!
Emmett: Close your mouth. We're not in a Glory Hole.
Ted: He's the chief of gay society. You're nothing until you were by his parties. I wish I could meet him.
Emmett: So go and introduce yourself.
Ted: I-i-i-i-i can't. I'm not ready. It's sort of thing you have to work up to.
Emmett: What is up to do? Honey, he's just another cocksucking fairy like everyone else here.
Ted: Sssh.
Emmett: [push him forward] Now go! Go on!
Ted: [stands in front of Garth and stumbles] Uh, Garth. How's goin'? Um, I'm Ted Schmidt. Here is my card.
[He takes his card and leaves him alone.]
Emmett: Nothing like a higher class of people.
[Debbie, Michael, and Vic are at the cemetery looking to find where Dumpster Boy is buried.]
Michael: So, what's his name?
Debbie: That h*m* assh*le cops still doesn't know. They only gave me a locate number.
[There's no headstone -- just a stick with an index card taped to it.]
Vic: For they he's only a poor kid without knowning who he is.
Debbie: Yeah they couldn't laying around somewhere.
Michael: Lieing around. Here it is.
Debbie: Christ!
Vic: So this is what it comes to. Pulled out of a dumpster, tossed in the ground.
Michael: Didn't seem right.
Debbie: Right? It's terrible. If nobody knows who you are, how are they supposed to remember you? [Debbie puts the flowers on the mound of dirt and whispers] Sorry, kid.
[Cut to...Michael and Brian sitting in a sauna.]
Michael: What was the kinkiest thing you ever done with a guy?
Brian: It's too weird to talk about.
Michael: C'mon, say.
[Another man sits beside Brian and strokes himself]
Brian: One night, I went to that guys house and I stayed over.
Michael: Very funny!
Brian: The next morning he made pancakes.
Michael: Ben and I did really kinky stuff last night.
Brian: Like what? Flavoring condoms?
Michael: Guess.
[Brian flashes back to his own night with Ben, when Ben tied him to the hotel bed.]
Brian: I haven't a clue.
Michael: He tied me up.
Brian: No shit(!)
Michael: I was totally surrendered. It was so amazing. So much trust, you know?
[We get a close-up of the stranger stroking himself under the towel.]
Brian: Yeah, it's pretty good when you've done when you have time to.
Michael: The way he helt me afterwards. I never feel so close. I bet you never find that in the White Party.
[We see Brian f*ck Ben.]
Brian: Yeah, I guess not.
Michael: All your one-night-stands can't compare when I got.
Brian: Yeah. Well, I guess I have to settle for the next past day.
[Brian get up and walk off with the new, horny, naked trick.]
[Lindsay and Melanie have taken Emmett and Ted out for dinner as a way of saying thanks. The waiter brings the bill.]
Ted: Uh, it's mine.
Mel: No, it's ours. This is our way to say thanks for all you did for us.
Emmett: You don't have to do that. Waiter, a steak to go!
[All laughs. The camera keeps spinning around the table.]
Emmett: Look, Teddy, it's the doctor who went to be in the medical group.
Ted: So?
Emmett: He is the guy who sponsored the AIDS pride every year.
Ted: Pass the syrup.
Emmett: Wow, somebody changed his tune. You were ga-ga with these people the other night.
Ted: Yeah, but I'm not ga-ga now.
Emmett: So, why you wanna come here? With all the "A Gays" around here?
Ted: I'm allowed. I would only call them "B Gays".
Emmett: Aren't there any "A d*ke"?
Mel: Oh honey, you look at them.
Emmett: Oh, it's that Garth.
Ted: Right seen? He is the biggest man at all. All people grawn for an invitation for his pretentious parties.
Garth: Ted, how are you? I'm Garth. We've seen you in the other night.
Ted: Sure, of course.
Garth: Forgive me for interrupting you.
Ted: No, not at all. May I introduce my friends? It's Melanie and Lindsay and uh Emmett.
[Emmett sips loudly from his coffee, ignoring Garth.]
Garth: Nice to meet you. Look, I only take a moment of your time. I had a little get-together in my place tomorrow afternoon. I would love if you could drop by.
Ted: Sure, I will come.
Garth: Fabulous. Around three. Pleasure to meet all of you.
[He sits down in shock.]
[Justin's cleaning up the diner. He brings more coffee over to Debbie.]
Justin: Ready for a refill, ma'am?
Debbie: Oh, no. Thanks honey. I got to sleep tonight.
[She hands him her tips.]
Debbie: You're goin' home.
Justin: Deb, it's like your whole days tip.
Debbie: You carried things tonight. You deserve it.
Justin: It's not like you knew him. He was just one of the thousands of guys that you wait on.
Debbie: That's not the point, Sunshine. He was one of us. Part of the community. I can't help feeling responsible.
Justin: What? That he's d*ad?
Debbie: No, that he's lying out there in an unmarked grave.
Justin: But what can you do?
Debbie: I don't know. Find out who he was.
Justin: That what the police are for.
Debbie: Those fat f*ck! Christ! The way they talked about him? Call him a Jane Do. They made very clear their give a shit. Nobody does.
Justin: Then do it. [She stands up and go.] I didn't mean right now.
Debbie: Sooner or later I'll make a f*re under the cops large ass. Sooner or later I'll get him!
[Woody's. Emmett, Ted and Brian are standing beside the poollboard.]
Ted: And then Garth invited my to his house for a very exclusive get together.
Brian: Well his business is to study others. Have you find out why he's including you?
Ted: For my witness and charme, of course. Just because you're never invited.
Brian: So happens, I've been invited to circles of get-togethers and serving locations.
Emmett: Why haven't you gone?
Brian: If I want to hang out with a bunch of arrogant, self-important assholes.
Ted: Cause you fit right in?
Emmett: [to a man who walks past by] Hey ya, nice to see you again.
Ted: You know him?
Emmett: Yeah, very well.
Ted: Oh, small worlds.
Emmett: Why? You did him to?
Ted: No, but I went home with lashers lips over there, who spend a night on fall mountain who used to show out on your love muffin.
Brian: Yeah, I'll had him all three.
[Justin comes up.]
Justin: All at onces?
Brian: I tried. Scheduling conflicts.
Ted: Who haven't you f*cked?
[Michael walks up with Ben.]
Michael: He haven't f*cked me, or anybody I went with.
[Justin starts laughing]
Michael: [to Justin] What?
Justin: Nothing. It was nothing.
Ben: It was me.
Ted: Holy shit!
Brian: [to Justin] Nice goin', little twat!
Michael: I don't believe it. And it's so hilarious.
Ben: Why are you laugh?
Michael: Why shouldn't you not? Well, it's Pittsburgh. No degrees and separation.
[They kiss each other.]
[Debbie's at the police station in the middle of the night.]
Det.Horvath: Can I help you?
Debbie: Yeah, I need to talk to somebody. But I must say I was hoping it would'nt be you.
Det.Horvath: Come in. Get back. Relax.
Debbie: I don't have time to relax. But I'm so glad you do. Why isn't no name on his grave?
Det.Horvath: We're workin' on it.
Debbie: Bullshit. You're not even tryin'.
Det.Horvath: Look, ladies. I've got through every missing person's report that even remotely matches to his description. So far, nobodies missin' him.
Debbie: Well, then keep lookin'.
Det.Horvath: Lady...
Debbie: And stop calling me lady! You sound like Jerry Lewis. The name's Debbie.
Det.Horvath: Debbie...
Debbie: But you can call my Mrs.Novotny.
Det.Horvath: Mrs.Novotny, don't take this the wrong way but it's none of your business!
Debbie: Oh, and don't take you this the wrong way - but it is! This kid, it has a name. And I'm gonna find it!
[She takes a pictures of him and leaves the police office.]
[Ben's Apartment. Ben and Michael enter the living room.]
Michael: I'm so horny out. I've had a raging hard-on all the way home.
Ben: Oh, I was afraid you'll be sad what happens.
Michael: I told you, it's no biggy.
[Ben and Michael get naked and flop on the bed]
Ben: Lucky for me you are so kind of understanding natur. But I'm still ashaming you finding out.
Michael: I have the hottest boyfriend in town. It's a given that Brian would have f*cked him.
Ben: It was a casual thing. One night on before you were born. To me, that is.
Michael: I told you, you don't have to explain. We don't have to tell each other every men we slept with before we met. I wouldn't remain the names anyways. Leave your underwear on, I'm on the mood.
[They kiss each other as suddenly Brian appears behind Ben - in Michael's imagination. He pushes Brian out of the bed.]
Ben: What's up?
Michael: You.
[Michael goes down on Ben's crotch.]
[Boys gym. Ted's getting spotted by a man with a large dick. Ted can't stop staring at it.]
Guy: Nice form, good.
Ted: I'll see. I'll get my heartbreak to.
Guy: Meet me at the squats.
[The guy leaves and Emmett appears]
Emmett: I could definitely squat on that.
Ted: That's Rainer, my new trainer.
Brian: See how he sit up and breast.
Ted: Garth recogment him. He only trains at the best. He's definately worth it. I can feel the difference already.
Guy: Hey Brian.
Ted: Oh, don't tell me.
Brian: Yeah, he's like a german train. He always comes in on time.
Michael: Sorry, I'm late.
Brian: Are you tied up?
Michael: You have spot me?
Brian: No, I have to check up Ted's new trainer. I have to get my protein lunch.
Michael: Babylon tonight?
Brian: Yeah.
Ted: So, you have a fight?
Emmett: You know those awkward silence?
Michael: Why? Because he and Brian had sex?
Ted: If it was my boyfriend and I found out that Brian and he doin dirty things together, it would be the game over. How can I measure up?
Emmett: You couldn't.
Michael: It's not a problem. Brian's sex it's like a handshake.
Emmett: Mmmh, then let it shakin' sweety.
Ted: They know each other intimately.
Emmett: How they feel, how they smell.
[Michael hallucinating Ben and Brian going at it by the Soloflex.]
Ted: The sounds they make when they're coming.
Michael: Would you two should the f*ck up already?! Would we work out or will we standing and blabbering all the time?
[Brian's loft. Justin's hand has completely healed, but he's still using his pen to draw on the computer. He's drawing a police sketch of Dumpster Boy for Debbie.]
Debbie: Don't forget the dimple on his chin.
Justin: Give me a chance. I'm getting into.
Jen: I don't know on what you guys live on how do you survive?
Debbie: That's it. That's it. OK, sunshine print him up.
[Jennifer finds a bottle of poppers in the fridge]
Jen: What's this?
Justin: [goes to her] Oh, that's just head cleaner.
Jen: I didn't think you still listened to cassettes.
Debbie: What do you say Jenny? You're in?
Jen: No. I think you should leave this to the profs.
Debbie: But we are the profs. Who knows Liberty Avenue better than we do?
Jen: Speak for yourself, Debbie. I'm just the tourist.
Debbie: But you're a mother. What if you're son...
Jen: It almost was.
[Justin staring at Dumpster Boy for a long time.]
[Ted's arriving at his fancy-pants party.]
Ted: [v-o] "Teddy, you have arrived. You'r really here! All those people you used to hate - you are one of them now. But don't look to excited. Actually, act a little bored. Yeah, that's it. Remember, you can do this! You know all about opera, you have you own business."
Garth: Ted, I'm so glad you could come.
Ted: Garth. This is for you.
[Ted hands Garth a bottle of wine as a gift.]
Ted: [v-o] "Oh no, he's looking like a thunderbird! Goddamit, Teddy, why don't you go through the 65$ bottle? I told you but no, you had..."
Garth: It's my favorite California vino. How did you know?
Ted: Mine, too.
Garth: Let me introduce you around. Ted Schmidt, this is Mr.Riddles, psychiatrist.
Mr.Riddles: Luckely not yours.
Garth: Maurie Cample, Maurie organisaizes gay cruises.
Mr.Cample: Thank you for making you one of them.
Garth: Ted is a director, too. He has his own website.
Mr.Riddles: Really?
Garth: If you excuse me.
Mr.Cample: We've never seen you before. Just moved here in?
Ted: Actually I've lived here all my life. I went to north Allegenia High. President of the Junior Accountant Club. I always had an affinity for numbers. Real numbers and cute ones to.
[He laughs. His two hearer are not so excited.]
[Ben's flat. Ben and Michael are in the bed.]
Michael: If you don't behave, I have to tie you up, again.
Ben: Promises.
Michael: Did Brian ever do that?
Ben: Do what?
Michael: Tie you up.
Ben: You expected to remember?
Michael: It wasn't that long enough.
Ben: Maybe. Now calm here.
Michael: They said Brian's f*ck are legendary. What's so great about it?
Ben: Why you asking all those questions?
Michael: I'm just curious.
Ben: It's kind of weird.
Michael: I'm cool with it, really.
Ben: He's f*cking me and he came right hand, so he just keep moving.
Michael: No, shit.
Ben: He came a second time. What you wanna do? He never looses his hard-on.
[Dream Brian appears in Michael's imagination on the bed. Also naked.]
Brian: You had to ask.
Michael: So, how can I compare with that? C'mon, tell me.
Ben: Michael, it's like comparing apples and cantaloupes.
Michael: So, who is the cantaloupes?
Ben: You are fine.
Michael: "Fine".
[He's siting on the bed.]
Ben: You're terrific, you're great. Now, can we stop talking about him?
[Dream Brian appears behind Ben.]
Brian: You see, nothing compared with me. Let's see some action.
Michael: I just remember that new shit coming in my store.
Ben: But isn't having youre own store that you can being on... you're... own... time.
[Michael kisses Ben on the checks and leaves him.]
[The fancy party. Ted's still babbling about his sad little life, and his two prisoners have completely died inside.]
Ted: Then I work for Workshafter for eight years and doin' odds and filing forwand case. Did I mention that I see somebody in the playhouse last week? I really think it's sometimes best for...
Garth: I have the lucky all-time for you. Do you mind, if I borrow him?
Mr.Gamble: No, please.
Ted: Sorry.
[Garth and Ted leaves them alone.]
Ted: It's a great party.
Garth: Thanks Teddy. Do you mind if I call you Teddy?
Ted: Well, all my close friends do.
Garth: I went to your website the other day and I got to tell you I was rather impressed.
Ted: You were? Well Garth, it takes a lot of work...
Garth: Especially with one of your boy... his name was Rex.
Ted: Oh, Rex.
Garth: Wew, what a boy. I wouldn't mind if I get to know him. Think you could possible do something up?
Ted: Oh, I don't really get involved in my employee's personal lifes.
Garth: Of course not - best policy. Although I'm only talking of a friendly diner. And I have asking you, Teddy, for a friend.
[On Liberty Avenue. Debbie's chatting with the local boys.]
Debbie: Hey Sammy, I love the hair, honey. Listen, you have ever seen this kid?
[She's showing him the rendering that Justin made.]
Sammy: No, sorry, Deb.
Debbie: Well keep it. Thanks honey.
[Jennifer's having less luck on her side of the street.]
Jen: Good afternoon, could I...
[the man goes by. Back to Debbie.]
Debbie: Thanks honey. Hey kiddo, how's Bill? Listen, if you knew this kid would you call the police? Give it through your friends. Thanks.
[Back to Jen.]
Jen: Good afternoon, would you mind just takin'...
[the man goes by. Debbie comes over.]
Debbie: How're you doin'?
Jen: I'm feeling like the Invisible Woman.
Debbie: Yeah, around here you got there attention when you grab the dick and shake it.
Jen: Hi there, I'm Jennifer. How are you today?
Debbie: Hi Tyler, how'd the wounds?
Tyler: They were on my hands.
Jen: Oh, we... we're try to find out where this man is. Do you know him?
Tyler: Yeah, I think so.
Debbie: Who is he?
Jen: What's his name?
Tyler: I... I don't know.
Debbie: Where did you see him?
Tyler: I used to see him hanging out in the Liberty Spa.
Debbie: OK, thanks honey.
Jen: What's that? A gym?
Debbie: Not exactly.
[There in Liberty Spa. It's a bathhouse.]
Jen: How are you today? Would you what happen to this young men is...?
[Debbie opens a door and walk in on sex acts.]
Debbie: Sorry for interrupting. Are you two recognize him?
Man#1: No!
Man#2: No.
Debbie: OK, thanks anyway. You play safe!
Man#3: Hey! No broads in the bathhouse!
Debbie: We need to be here.
Jen: We're looking for someone.
Man#3: This is a private men's club.
Debbie: Someone who knew this m*rder kid.
Man#3: Out or I call the cops!
Man#4: Excuse me. I... I knew him.
Debbie: What's his name?
Man#4: He didn't say.
Jen: Christ, doesn't anybody even introduce himself before they f*ck? Sorry.
Man#4: I followed him to his room. We were doing it when he starts gasping. I'm thinking, 'Hey! I'm pretty good!' Turns out he's having an asthma att*ck. He sucked on his inhaler and was fine. But by then the magic kinda wore off. You know.
Debbie: Was this a prescription thing?
Man#4: I think so. That's all I know.
Debbie: Thanks for your help.
Man#3: Now, if you don't mind?
[Michael's at work in his empty, lonely store when Brian walks in. He grabs the piece of paper Michael's working on.]
Brian: Do you have a new budman?
Michael: Sorry, I'm sold out.
Brian: Oh, I thoughed you wanna go out to Babylon.
Michael: I'm busy.
Brian: "Neutral man is broking in to a Nuclear..."
Michael: Give it back!
Brian: "He was torturing with an eggonizing dildo... sorry, dilemma." I see f*ck the world. Take the power.
Michael: Yeah, you would. You take what you want and hell with everyone else. So, you're were never gonna tell me?
Brian: Tell you what?
Michael: You know g*dd*mn well.
Brian: It was two years ago and nobody gives a shit. I don't. He doesn't. Why are you?
Michael: Because he is my boyfriend? And you are my friend.
Brian: Somebody's jealous. But, are you jealous because I did it with him or because he did it with me?
Michael: Arrogant prick.
Brian: Well, which is it?
Michael: Why should I give a shit because he slept with you? Who hasn't?
Brian: You.
[Brian starts to leave, but walks back and jams Michael against a wall. His hand digs into Michael's crotch and grabs his dick.]
Michael: What are you doin?
Brian: You wanna know what is like? So, c'mon. I know you want it.
Michael: [whispers] Get out of here(!)
Brian: I know your secret identity.
[In front of Mel and Lindsay's house.]
Ted: He wants me to pimp for him. That's why he invited me into the innercircle.
[Mel and Lindz are loading up the trunk of their car.]
Lindsay: Be sure we're postal machine.
Mel: I thoughed we'd agree we're pass the pass machine and keep the postal machine.
Ted: I should have known. That's why I'm his new friend.
Lindsay: Hey, Mel and Meliese gave us that.
Ted: It's looks totally offenses!
Mel: Of course I did. That's why I'm returning it.
Ted: I mean what Garth ask me!
Mel: C'mon, the people seems you interested. They find you useful.
Ted: I'm feeling being used.
Mel: That's the way it is. They want some from you, you want some from them. It's just play the game.
[Debbie and Vic are harassing the pharmacist of Pittsburgh.]
Pharmacist: You know, I can keep that kind of information.
Debbie: I promise - I didn't tell the police. Girls scouts honor.
Vic: C'mon Phil, you were always such a good friend. We're just wanna know who this poor kid is. Would you please help us?
Pharmacist: You know how many asthma prescription I got?
Debbie: You got time - more than him.
[He staring at the picture that Justin drew.]
Debbie: My stomach is f*cking nuts!
Vic: Here, have one of these.
Pharmacist: It'll be 79 Cents. I'll just have a hundred names.
Vic: Sis, that is hopeless.
Debbie: Hey, I never said that about you. And you don't say that about him.
Pharmacist: Did you mind if I look at the draw again?
Debbie: Sure.
Pharmacist: That dimple on his chin looks familiar.
Debbie: Oh god bless sunshine!
Pharmacist: When he was k*lled?
Vic: A couple weeks ago.
Pharmacist: If this is him - he never picked up his prescription.
[Emmett flat. Someone knocks at the door.]
Emmett: Keep your pants on.
Ben: Hi.
Emmett: Hi. C'mon in. Just in time for a facials.
Ben: Oh, no thank you.
Emmett: You sure? You're look stressed out. It is the best thing for stress, am I right Teddy?
Ted: The best.
Emmett: He's a kind of image stress. So, I thoughed it might be help.
Ben: I thoughed Michael might be at the store but it closed. He's not here?
Emmett: No, no, haven't seen him.
Ted: Is there something wrong with the Beaver?
Ben: I'm not sure I'm should...
Emmett: You can tell us.
Ted: We're his best friends.
Ben: He's... he acting really weird. Every since he found out...
Ted: You and Brian...
Emmett: ...f*cked.
Ben: Yeah.
Ted: I knew it.
Emmett: Yeah, so did I.
Ben: You knew what?
Ted: Nothing.
Ben: C'mon, you guys tell me! Were they lovers? [pause] What?
Ted: What if it better than have them. When Brian broke Michaels heart and Michael got over him.
Emmett: Anstead of always wondering what if been like.
[Police station. Debbie goes to Det.Horvath.]
Debbie: Jason Kemp.
Det.Horvath: How's you get this?
Debbie: It's called perseverance. You should try it sometimes. I find out where he lived - Vaseline Tower.
Det.Horvath: What the hell is that?
Debbie: That's whereever young, gay kids goes when they first moves to town.
Det.Horvath: Thanks for the lead. You could be a detective.
Debbie: Supposed to be your job.
[Fancy party. The boys who hate Ted pretend to love him.]
Mr.Gamble: You are coming to the Empire Benefets, are you?
Ted: Sure. I'll be there.
Mr.Riddles: There is a cocktail bar beforehand. To the Bath hikins.
Mr.Gamble: And afterwards we having a faboulos little suffer. Just the mens group of us. Like Garth and the boys.
Garth: Teddy, I wanna thank you, men for serving me up to Rex.
[Garth moves out of the way so we can see Rex wave at us.]
Ted: All I say was that you are his fan.
Garth: That boy has the hottest ass. The website do his justice.
Ted: I'm glad you're... so happy together.
Garth: Come, join us.
[Ted stares at himself in the mirror for a long time as the extras around him keep changing with every camera angle. After a very, very long time watching Ted think we see him get up and leave.]
[Ben's studying in a pretty chair on a cheap set. Michael enters.]
Michael: Hey.
Ben: Hi.
Michael: I hadn't even known that you wrote in longhand anymore.
Ben: Yeah, computer are fine for some things, but when I wants to flow through my minded up fingers find the old pen and paper and beats the high tec anyday.
Michael: That's so beautiful.
Ben: What is?
Michael: Just what you said. The words just flow it. I wish I could be that eloquent, especially now, when I really want to say sorry.
Ben: What for?
Michael: For taking off. You mind when I get a drink?
Ben: Oh yeah, help yourself.
Michael: Look, I knew you don't like to knew all on the past. You know it's over, it's gone, let it go. But sometimes it won't let you go. Like Brian.
Ben: What about him?
Michael: I wasn't completely honest when I say it didn't mattered to me that you had sex with him. It does.
Ben: And why's that?
Michael: Because... Because I always had certain feelings for him.
Ben: What kind of feelings?
Michael: Friendship feelings. Love feelings.
Ben: Sexual feelings?
Michael: [he nodds] Not that anything ever happens or ever will. But when I found out that you and he... I can't stop thinking...
Ben: That I do know him a way you don't.
Michael: And he knows you in a way I do.
Ben: Thank you for telling me.
Michael: I had to I love you.
Ben: That's OK, you love him.
Michael: I did?
Ben: Uh-huh. Michael, you know each other for how long? A few months? You had a life before I came along. So did I. Including people we've loved, they will and still there. It doesn't mean we can't love each other.
[Ben and Michael kiss and hug. Michael daydreams about Brian. He looks up and sees Brian walk out through the unlocked, non- peepholed door with no bottom lock on the doorknob. Ben notices Michael's hallucination, but doesn't comment. They kiss again.]
[Debbies house. Vic, Justin, and Jennifer are sitting down to dinner.]
Jen: Debbie, why you don't come and sit down?
Vic: You're Vic'o'tony get cold.
Debbie: You get ahead, I'm not hungry.
Vic: Have a little wine to celebrate.
Debbie: Celebrate what?
Justin: You got what you want. You found out his name.
[The doorbell rings.]
Jen: Something the police even couldn't do.
Debbie: Yeah, they still don't know who his family is and who did it.
[Debbie goes to the door. The cop's at the door.]
Debbie: Collecting for your fund?
Det.Horvath: I though you wanna know, I was in his apartment.
Debbie: Well, you didn't waste any time, for once.
Det.Horvath: Landlore thoughed the kids skip down with the pay his rent.
Debbie: The kids name is Jason.
Det.Horvath: He's only here for a couple of months. You should see his place. No furniture - nothing just a matraze.
Jen: Did you find his mother?
Det.Horvath: Yes, ma'am. She died when he was 4. He was into a foster home. He landed on the streets when he was 18.
Debbie: Some shitty life.
Vic: Would you like to play poster? My sister makes an incredible O'Tony.
Det.Horvath: Thanks, I have to get back to work.
[Jennifer and Justin go back in to eat.]
Debbie: That was very kind of you to come by.
Det.Horvath: I thoughed you like to know.
Debbie: You sure you don't like to...
Det.Horvath: I keep your poster if I find anything else.
Debbie: Do that.
[He leaves. She stares at nothing for a long time and then shuts the door.]
[Babylon. Michael and Ben are dancing. Brian walks up.]
Ben: Hey, do you cut in?
Brian: No, I'll start to drink.
Ben: No, I got you a drink.
[Ben pushes Brian into Michael's arms and rush to the bar.]
Brian: What do you think of him?
[a cute boy goes by]
Michael: I already did him.
Brian: You did not.
Michael: I did to.
Brian: When?
Michael: Eight years ago.
Brian: How was he?
Michael: I'm not telling. Have you ever heard Gay Etiquette?
[They dance with their arms around each other. The camera spins above them.]
Music:
Kosheen # Hide U
If you were in my heart I'd surely not break you
If you were beside me and my love would take you
I'd keep you in safety
Forever protect you
I'll hide you away from the world you rejected
I'd keep you in safety
Forever protect you
I'll hide you away from the world you rejected
I'll hide you
I'll hide you #
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x12 - One Degree of Brian Kinney"} | foreverdreaming |
[Woody's. Brian's playing pool. Justin rubs his dick over the corner pocket.]
Brian: Would you move your dick? I can't concentrate.
[Justin turns around and rubs his ass over the corner pocket instead.]
Emmett: You shouldn't have any trouble sinking into that hole.
[Brian makes the sh*t and Justin moans with glee.]
Ben: [to Michael] What given you me to concentrate at?
[Ted is handing out flyers for a charity event, but nobody cares.]
Ted: Come to the angel ball. f*ck you, too!
Emmett: That wasn't very angelic.
Ted: Who even take a g*dd*mn flyer?
Brian: Four hundred bucks for another boring fundraiser.
Michael: Angels Over Pittsburgh isn't just another charity; when Vic was sick they brought a meal practically every day. My mom and I couldn't done without that.
Ted: Unfortunately that's not what these guys doin'.
Brian: They need a big attraction.
Justin: Like Madonna. Or the Backstreet Boys.
Ted: Yeah, it's just Pittsburgh, sunshine. Not your wildest dreams.
Emmett: Hot about Pittsburgh's own Divina Devore? She's in town.
Brian: Oh yeah, that's good. Another worn-out old drag queen.
Emmett: What kind of h*m* are you?
Brian: The kind that f*ck men.
Emmett: Divina Devore it's a legend. She's performed before presidents.
Brian: Ulysses S. Grant or Chester A. Arthur?
Michael: Go got her. But you won't have trouble with your tickets.
Ben: It's worth a sh*t.
[Michael squats in front of the corner pocket. Ben sh**t and the ball rolls towards Michael's mouth. Ben misses. Michael pouts. The boys laugh.]
Michael: Oh.
[The kindergarten! We're at a center for early education/day care/fancy-pants place.]
women: Here in center for early development we offered an unique education parently. Which creates a save and supportive enviroment which are our degree candidates can inquire an invaluable learning and social skills.
Mel: Degree candidates? There are pre-schoolers.
woman: Therefore as much we would like to accept all applicants in order to ensure maximum focus and individual attention we can only admit a select few.
[Lindsay raises her hand]
Lindsay: May I ask what determines the final decision?
woman: The child's own unique talents and abilities will play a big part, but we're also trying to create the full spectrum of human diversity. Race, religion, socio-economic background.
Mel: What about sexual orientation?
woman: Oh yes, that too.
Lindsay: Are any same-sex-parented children currently enrolled?
woman: Not yet, but we're entend to make every afford to change that.
[The diner wall changes artwork. Now it's all Justin's.]
Debbie: [to a customer] The master piece that's what it is. For 50 bucks you'll buy the next Michael Angelo.
[The guy just rudely walks off]
Debbie: Ignorier miss.His does not know dick about art.
Justin: It doesn't matter. You do.
Jen: Justin, you didn't tell me you has your own show.
Justin: It's not exactly the Museum of Modern Art.
Debbie: That's next!
[Justin and Jennifer hug.]
Justin: You want something to eat?
Jen: Uh, thanks honey. I just had lunch. I'm with your father.
Justin: I don't talk about him.
Jen: Well, I just wanna talk either, but we'll do. He says he's not gonna pay for your school anymore.
Justin: Wha... That lame-ass shit. What's his feeble excuse?
Jen: The stock market and supporting two households. And he's a lame-ass shit. I don't want you to worry. I spoke to the accountant, I got a little of my savings, I can cash my IAR...
Justin: I don't takin' your money. You and Molly had to live.
Jen: You're sister and I'll be just... fine.
Justin: No, forget it. I'll take care of myself.
[Woody's. Divina Devore performing live at stage. Emmett, Ted, and Michael prance backstage right behind the stage manager. (S)he finished.]
Emmett: If you ask me, nobody makes a better woman than a gay man.
Michael: What woman looks like that? Big, red wig, tons of jewelry, gaudy clothes?
[Emmett, Ted, and the stage manager all turn slowly to the screen.]
Michael: My mother doesn't look like that!
[Divina leans back on the curtain as the audience politely applauds.]
Divina: Thank you, Pittsburgh! For reminding me why I left!
Ted: I hope she's not be one of those maniac divas who thinks she's the center of the universe -- you know, snapping her fingers bossing people around.
[Divina comes backstage.]
Divina: [to the stage manager] Hey, you. Tell the idiot, the one whos the lights the spot is suppose to be at my face. Not the left tit!
Stage manager: Yes, ma'am. I mean, sir.
Ted: Excuse me, Miss Devore.
Divina: Yes?
Ted: I just want to say... your performance tonight was... sparkling.
Emmett: Bubbling.
Ted: Effervescent.
Divina: Stop, you'll make me burp.
Michael: Miss Devore? Hi, I want to tell you your performance was really great.
Divina: I'm flattering for receive so much praise from so a handsome young men. Now, if you excuse me.
Ted: Wait. Uh, we wanted to ask you...
Divina: ...for my autograph.
Ted: And for your help. See, I'm organising a charity event...
Emmett: It's for a very good cause.
Divina: Is it ever a bad one?
Ted: It's for Angels Over Pittsburgh.
Michael: They prepare home cook meals for homeless people who have AIDS.
Ted: And I was hoping you were might...
Divina: Perform? Oh, I'd love to!
Emmett and Ted: You would?
Divina: If I didn't already spend half my life doing benefits. If I do any more, they'll have to throw one for me.
[Brian and Justin sit in a jeep.]
Justin: I told you, I can pay for this.
Brian: With your secrets money?
Justin: I'll get another job, a real job where I actually pay for it.
Brian: They pay for a hundred a week?
Justin: I still apply for a scholarship all alone.
Brian: What are you use for collection? Your ass? Stop being such a twat. I just trying to help you.
Justin: You've helped enough. You did practically my entire life.
Brian: What do you mean 'practically' ?
Justin: Look, I don't want you feel like you have always take care of me. And I don't want me to.
Brian: Fine, then go ahead. Don't come claim to me when it's didn't work.
Justin: I love that you do anything for me.
Brian: Who said it was for you? I made an investment, I want to pay off.
[Justin pulls off his seatbelt and gives Brian a blowjob at a red light. The man in the car next to Brian watches. Brian watches him back. Brian revs his engine.]
[Angels Over Pittsburgh sign on the refrigerator.]
Ted: Who the f*ck wants to see some worn-out old drag queen, anyway?
Emmett: Honey, you find someone else.
Michael: It's like Ben always says "You have to be a positive energy for."
Ted: What did Ben do in this new google-dee gook?
[Michael trows eat to Ted.]
Ted: You know, I woldn't been Divina Devore in the Benefit even if I could her.
Vic: Dvina Devore? Is she in town?
Michael: Yeah, we beg her to perform at the benefit but she turn us down.
Vic: She always was a selfish prick.
Emmett: You know her?
Vic: Honey, I knew her when she was a him. He was Danny Devore then. We went to highschool together.
Emmett: NO!
Ted: You know, maybe if you use the personal connection we can convince her mind.
Michael: Me?
Ted: You're our only hope.
Emmett: I thought you didn't even want her.
Ted: Well, that was before I know that she is a friend of the family.
Vic: I'm sure she wouldn't remember me.
[Lindsay's in pigtails, shouting to Mel from the porch.]
Lindsay: Mel! Mel!
Mel: What's the matter?
Lindsay: Look, a letter.
Mel: Haven't you've seen this before?
Lindsay: It's from Gus new school.
Mel: Hey, today the universe could be more to Harvert.
Lindsay: Who said anything about Harvert?
Mel: I thoughed everyone want a kid go to Harvert.
Lindsay: I feel we should considered at least Brown.
Mel: We'll continue this in 16 years. Just read the letter. What does she says?
Lindsay: He didn't get in.
Mel: What?! [she reads the letter] It's bullshit. They always made such a big deal about all different kinds of people.
Lindsay: Apparently not our kind of people.
Mel: What was all this crap about looking for a kid from same sex parents?
Lindsay: She didn't mean us.
Mel: It's discrimination. That's what it is.
Lindsay: Against our son. For something that has nothing to do with him.
[sh**t with Divina Devore! The photographer's talking in a voice-over.]
Michael: I know your busy, Mrs.Devore.
Divina: Then why are you here?
Michael: Well, I was hoping you were change your mind.
Divina: I don't change my mind! Only my underwear. Now, if you kindly show yourself out!
Michael: Guess my uncle was right.
Divina: Excuse me?
Michael: Nothing. Just something he said. He knew you back in Highschool.
Divina: Oh really and who was that?
Michael: You wouldn't remember. Vic Grassi?
[Camera zooms in her face.]
Divina: Vic Grassi. Oh, my god, I remember Vic. I hear that he was sick.
Michael: Yeah, he's doin' a lot better now. Now he's on a cocktail.
Divina: I'm glad to hear it. Tell him I say hello. So, if Vic is your uncle then Debbie must be your mother.
Michael: Knew her?
Divina: Knew her? I dated her!
Michael: You? I mean...?
Divina: Oh, back then I was a male impersonator. I did a really convincing act, too. How's she doin'?
Michael: Practically undestructable.
Divina: Did she became a nurse like she always wanted?
Michael: I never knew that. Just a waitress.
Divina: Jesus, I can still hear that laugh of her. She bring down a house. I wish she was in front of me last night. Oh, not complaint, I tell you kid, your momma was a real looker.
Michael: Still is. Just, now there's more to look at.
Divina: This benefit of yours, when is it?
Michael: Friday night.
Divina: I tell you what. I'll be there after my show.
Michael: That's so cool. You're doin' a really good deed. Thank you.
Divina: Don't thank me, pay me.
Michael: So how long's been you saw my mom?
Divina: Not since the summer of my graduation. I... I left town after that.
Michael: I bet you have some interesting stories about the two of you.
Divina: Gentlemen don't reveal such themes. Especially gentlemens who are ladies.
[Liberty Diner. Michael put on a sign of the poster with Divina Devore.]
Ted: Where is he? Michael! [Ted kisses Michael] I cannot believe you got her change her mind.
Brian: I can't believe Deb dated a drag queen. How anyone could tell them apart.
Emmett: At least now we know who taught her how to do her hair.
Brian: You realize it's makes your mother officially f*g hag of all time. Then Vic, then you. Hey Debbie.
Debbie: Hey guys. Hi baby.
Brian: I hear your boyfriend is in town.
Debbie: Michael, about who's he talking about it?
Michael: It's someone you used to go...
Debbie: Yeah? Who?
Michael: Danny Devore.
[Debbie is shocked, angry, and grumpy.]
Debbie: Danny Devore.
Emmett: Better known as Divina Devore.
Ted: Michael got her agreement to perform on the Angel Ball.
Emmett: Yeah, thanks to you.
Debbie: What have I to do with it?
Brian: She said she couldn't possible turn down the son of a former flame.
Debbie: You shout your mouth! He had no right talk to my kid about my personal life.
Michael: We didn't say anything. He only said you two used to go out.
Debbie: Yeah, it was like a million years ago. I should be over him.
[Debbie walks away.]
[Babylon. Naked dancing boys. Sweet, toned flesh. Good flesh. Good music. Justin sticks a dollar in the g-string of a dancing boy. Brian snaps a dollar out of a different stripper's g-string.]
Brian: Shouldn't you been holding on on that?
Justin: It doesn't much matter since it's my last one.
Brian: Sort of like infections in the 19th century french noble been revive.
Justin: f*ck off.
Brian: Find a job.
Justin: I must have tried twenty restaurants and nobody hired.
Brian: What does the financial aid office said?
Justin: My f*cking father makes to much money.
Brian: Well, my offer still stands.
Justin: So does my answer. Better do that on my own.
Stripper: Give me a hand?
Brian: See? Some people know how to accept help.
[Justin roll his eyes. He watches the stripper pull money out of his crotch.]
Justin: Looks like a good night.
Stripper: It's nothing compared with the weekend.
Justin: Really? Cause I've been looking for something. Are they looking for more dancers?
Stripper: Gary's always looking.
[Brian and Justin are quiet, thinking. Brian walks away.]
[Debbies house. In Michaels old room. Ben and Michael arm are there. Very geeky picture of Michael and Brian in high school with their arms around each other.]
Michael: See what a dork I was?
Ben: You weren't a dork. I was a dork.
Michael: A fat ones.
Ben: You have no idea how fat. You are more dweeb.
Michael: Thanks.
Ben: Brian on the other hand...
Michael: I know, he was a total turn on.
Ben: I would say spaz.
Michael: Is it better or worse than a dweeb?
Ben: Oh, fare worse. Have I mention that I have a thing for dweebs?
Michael: Later. Goin check my moms old stuff.
Ben: Wait, that's kinda personal.
Michael: Well, she never really told me about that much. Everytime I ask about back then she said 'I did my homework and rest at my folk.' And you should do the dame.
[Ben pulls out a pompon.]
Ben: I didn't know she was a cheerleader.
Michael: Well, maybe those were Vic's. Oh, her yearbook. Check out the girls hairdos! Really boring.
Ben: Really straight. Where is your mom?
Michael: Grassi, grassi, grassi. There she is.
[Deborah Jane Grassi
AMB: Celebrate New Year's in every time zone!
P.D.: Celebrate every New Year's right here in the Pitt.
P.P.: Dishonest People.
P.S.: "S***, all my sayings have swears in them."
ACT: Yearbook, S.C. rep., Spirit Club, Parties, Parties, Parties]
Michael: Just as I said, mom was a real looker.
Ben: What about he look like?
Michael: Comes after a space.
Ben: Oh, scare me.
Michael: Danny Devore
AMB: Broadway Superstar
P.D.: NYC Cab Driver
P.P.: Stage Fright
P.S.: "Begone!"
ACT: Variety Show, Choir, Concert Band, Prom Committee, Spirit Club
Ben: Oh, he's kinda cute.
Michael: If you have a thing for dweebs.
[Strip club. Gary the creepy strip-club owner is doing "paperwork". Justin coughs some attention and.]
Justin: They said I can talk to you about the job.
Gary: Doin' what?
Justin: Dancing.
Gary: Ever dance professionally?
Justin: No, but I dance here all the time.
Gary: Like a thousand other queers. What makes you special?
Justin: I was King of Babylon.
Gary: Who wasn't? Sorry, I'm too busy. No one position's are open.
Justin: I'm sure if you saw me...
Gary: Hey, I'll busy.
[Cut to naked Justin feet walking back along the bar. He stops over Gary.]
Justin: One dance, that's all. If I suck, you can kick my ass out.
Gary: You doesn't have much of a body. No packs, no abs, no biceps.
Justin: I have a great ass and I'm blond. You have no idea how far that gets me.
Gary: One dance. Make it good.
[He does]
[Cut to Justin dancing over Brian's head. Same outfit. Brian's apartment. Brian stops the music and.]
Brian: Try not to step into my Chinese food.
Justin: He said I'd be pulling $200 to $300 a night.
Brian: That'd better be all your pulling young men. And remember you still have your schoolwork to do.
Justin: And what if I don't?
Brian: Mmmh, you'd have to be spank.
Justin: [laughs] Yeah, just try.
Brian: You like it?
Justin: Uh, I just kidding.
[Brian pulls Justin over his knees, pulls down his underwear, and spanks him. Justin's enjoying it until Mel and Lindz just walk right into the apartment.]
Mel: Oh.
Brian: Oh, Note to self - make sure to lock the f*cking door.
Lindsay: [to Mel] I don't care. I'm gonna asking anybody.
Brian: [to Linds] Wanna chicken?
Mel: [to Linds] Don't waste you time. Everytime we ask him to do something he turns us down.
Brian: Ask me what?
Lindsay: I want you to be my husband.
Brian: You already have one.
Mel: It's for Gus. He got rejected by the Center for Early Development.
Lindsay: And we think it's because he had two mommies.
Brian: So now you wanna pass him to a product of a happy hetero homelife? f*ck that shit.
Mel: I told you, he is a total heterophobe.
Justin: That's true he is.
Brian: It's true. I am.
Lindsay: Brian, you know I would you never ask to compromise your values.
Mel: Except that they are.
Lindsay: You're always said it's not lying if they make you lying. You wants Gus to have the same advantages as kids you have a mommie and a daddie, don't you? You want him to go to the best schools and receive the best education? Then you got us help to make sure. They despite what other people may think of us - he's not the one who suffers. So we have to found another school. We have an appointment tomorrow.
[Michael's grilling Vic as Vic pretends to read a magazine.]
Michael: How long they go out?
Vic: I... I can't remember.
Michael: Was it serious?
Vic: How do I know?
Michael: Did she love him?
Vic: She didn't say!
Michael: Didn't say... It's nothing that mom doesn't say!
Vic: Look, Michael, it was a long time ago. Why don't you ask her?
Debbie: [comes home] Ask me what?
Michael: About Denny Devore.
Debbie: Christ, I haven't heard his name mention for thirty years and now all of a sudden it's all he's here.
Michael: I saw his picture in your yearbook.
Debbie: Who said you can looking in my yearbook?
Michael: You never said I couldn't! It's the picture of him! It looks a lot like me.
Debbie: Who you talking about? It doesn't look at the least bit of you.
Michael: You don't have your reading glasses on.
Debbie: Fine. Make me feel older than I really do. OK, I still don't see it. Vic? Do you see it?
Vic: Can't say I do.
Michael: C'mon! We have the same eyes, the same nose, the same mouth. Tell me that's not my chin!
Debbie: Not even close! And trust me, I know chins. I have serveral of it.
Michael: Ma, I just want you to tell me...
Debbie: Tell you what?
Michael: Why I look so much alike Danny Devore!
Vic: I get the clothes in the dryers.
Debbie: Stay right there! What are you getting at?
Michael: He said that you were out summer after graduation. That was 1969. I was born March 1970.
Debbie: Ha! I don't believe what I'm hearing! Are you asking me if some old drag queen that I once knew in high school is your father? You know who your father is! This is your father!
[Debbie holds up a picture of John Michael Navotny]
Debbie: John Michael Novotny. Lieutenant in the US army.
Michael and Debbie: Died in Vietnam, 1970, two weeks after I was born.
Michael: I know. You told me a million times. But this guy in the picture who doesn't even look like me is my dad. But that've all you told me!
Debbie: What else do you wanna know?
Michael: Who are my grand-parents?
Debbie: They're d*ad.
Michael: Aunts and uncles?
Debbie: They weren't any.
Michael: So he's just a w*r hero?
Debbie: 'Just'!? They awarded him the purple heart! He was on a rescue mission, carving his way through the jungle when a landmine exploded.
Michael: You've said it was a Jeep accident.
Debbie: He was carving his way in a Jeep when it ran over a landmine.
Michael: You can't even keep the goddam story straight!
Debbie: Stop confusing me...!
Vic: Look, it was a long time ago. It doesn't matter now.
Michael: I just wanna know the truth.
Debbie: Are you calling me a liar? Your own mother? I told you who you father was. And I expect you to believe me.
[She wanders out of the room, tottering back and forth.]
[Better kids at this school. Lindsay and Brian goes inside.]
Lindsay: Promised me to behave.
Brian: I don't mention dick if you don't mention p*ssy.
Lindsay: You know what I mean. I don't you getting into your moods.
Brian: Yeah, yeah. I want a h*m*-hetero kid just as you do.
Lindsay: That's it. Don't be nervous.
Brian: If my heart gettin' low, I'll be d*ad.
[Inside the school.]
woman: Hello.
Lindsay: Hi, we are the...
woman: Oh, the Kinneys. Uh, Mr. and Mrs.Kinney.
Lindsay: Right!
Brian: Sometimes she'll forgets, don't you, honey?
Lindsay: [laughs] I don't forget. He's such a kitter.
woman: Oh, please. I tell Mrs.Harper you are here.
[she leaves. Brian and Lindsay sits down. Brian plays with toys.]
Lindsay: I told you to behave!
Brian:You could send me to the principal's office, but I'm already there.
Lindsay: It's also strange. I mean I knew I'd have a child like Gus and he goes to a school like this one. And I never imagine it will be like this.
Brian: Well, there's no predicting. Oops, I said dick, didn't I?
Lindsay: Can't you be serious? For even a minute?
[Brian sits down, checks her watch]
Brian: You're on.
Lindsay: There was even a time, when we first met that I thought this could be reality. Did you ever felt that way?
Brian: No. You wanted me to be serious. That doesn't mean I don't love you.
[Brian kisses Lindsay just as the principal comes to the door and calls them in.]
Mrs.Harper: Mr.and Mrs.Kinney!
Brian: [looks at the clook] Oh, the minutes up.
Mrs.Harper: Oh, please, don't be emparest. It's always nice to see young parents express their affection. And I think it's important for children to see that to, don't you agree? Come in to my office, please and we'll discuss Gus' future.
[Debbie is standing at Divina's hotel door.]
Debbie: I never in a million years known it was you.
[She stands there. No wig, just scary makeup and tiny dagger nails. Red robe.]
Divina: Thirty years is a long time.
Debbie: Try thirty-one. But who's counting?
Divina: So, come on in. You want a drink?
Debbie: No. No, thanks. God, you have more shit than I do.
Divina: These days it takes longer to look fabulous.
Debbie: Tell me about it. Is this real?
Divina: Honey, I wish. So, how're you doin', my Divina?
Debbie: So you called me in highschool.
Divina: Now you have a son. He tells me you work in a diner. Vic was sick and now he's better.
Debbie: Thirty years in a natcho.
Divina: Thirty-one. Michael is a very nice, young men.
Debbie: I'm very proud of him.
Divina: And I would be to. He's polite, caring, good looking. In fact he's reminded me a lot of someone I used to know. Only at first I couldn't figure out who it was. Then when I discovered you were his mother I realized. I was looking at myself. In a mirror. Through time. Why? Didn't you? Ever! Tell me?
Debbie: You already left town. Run off to the big city to be a big star! Who was I supposed to do? Call you up and say 'Hey, guess what? You're a dad. Come back and marry me.'
Divina: So, you decided to have him on your own, raising him on your own. It must have taken a lot of courage.
Debbie: It was the easiest decision I ever made.
Divina: Who you tell him who his father was?
Debbie: A soldier who died in Vietnam. I picked up his name out of the newspaper from the list of d*ad. I even changed my own name.
Divina: You went through a lot of trouble to make sure he never found out.
Debbie: I wanted him to have a hero.
Divina: And I could never be that.
Debbie: It wasn't so much that you were gay, Danny. I always kind of suspected. In fact, that's probably why I liked you. It's that you lied to me.
Divina: You won't the only one. I lied to myself as well. I wanted to be something I wasn't.
Debbie: Are you sure it's all succeeded? And he sure as hell didn't need to know his dad was a drag queen. And now he's found your g*dd*mn picture in the yearbook. And he's put two and two together. And knowing him he's coming here to talk to you any minute.
Divina: Christ, what I am telling him?
Debbie: Hell if I know!
Divina: I'm sure if you explained he would understand.
Debbie: What? That I've lied to him his entire life? And then he never trust me again. And I wouldn't blame him.
[The Happy Fun House. Lindsay comes home and fills Mel in on the interview with Brian.]
Lindsay: Oh, we were with her two and a half hours. She seemed really impressed.
Mel: That's a good sign, isn't it?
Lindsay: I hope so.
[They sit together in the living room. Mel rubs Lindsay's foot and coos at her]
Lindsay: Christ, I hate that heels!
Mel: Baby, come here.
Lindsay: Oh, that's nice.
Mel: And Brian behaved himself?
Lindsay: More than behaved. He was charming, attentive.
Mel: I hope not to attentive.
Lindsay: He complement the school of was whee... Everything was perfect.
Mel: Besides I would say the wrong face.
Lindsay: Should have been you and me in there.
Mel: Uh, whatever it takes. Besides it was you idea.
Lindsay: I know. It seen the good one at that time but now,... I don't know.
Mel: Hey, don't worry about it.
Lindsay: Sometimes the ends actually justify the means.
[The phone rings. It's the school.]
Mel: Besides the important thing is that Gus has the same chance every other kid. Hello? Who? Oh, yes. Hang on. [she's give the phone to Linds] Mrs.Kinney.
Lindsay: Hello? Mrs.Harpher. Yes, thank you. Mel and I... I mean Brian and I follow the same way. We will so pleased. What? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Mel: What?
Lindsay: I understand. Well, thank you for calling.
[She hangs up.]
Mel: What? What she say?
Lindsay: He didn't get in.
Mel: What?
Lindsay: He didn't get in. Mrs.Harpher called her apologize she thought my husband and I were absolutely charming and they would love to have Gus but...
Mel: So, what's the problem?
Lindsay: They only had one spot open and they gave it to another child ... with same-sex-parents.
Mel: Are you sh1tting me?!
Lindsay: The board decided that the student population had to be more open...
Mel: Well, we're goin' to sue... this is discrimination!
Lindsay: [laughs] We can't sue! Heterosexual discrimiation?!
Mel: You think this is funny?
'
Lindsay: I think it is hilarious.
Mel: What we gonna do now?
Lindsay: I'm gonna take a bath. And first thing tomorrow we will look for another school. And this time Gus' parents Lindsay and Melanie will go to the new interview.
[Babylon! Justin's dancing in an angel's outfit. The angel at the next go-go booth has tons of cash in his shorts. Justin does not. Emmett, Michael, and Brian are pouting at the bar. Brian's trying to ignore his half-naked boyfriend grinding for tips.]
Emmett: When I was in school, I had a part-time job walking peoples dogs. I didn't know I could have made money wagging his own tail.
Ted: What a turnout. But I have to thank Michael. [He kisses Mikey]
Michael: See ya.
[He starts to pout off]
Ted: Aren't you gonna stay?
Brian: They all to sticking around to see the number one fan.
Michael: Just leave me alone. How can somebody put on an act all those years...?
Brian: It has to do with h*m* lifestyle...
Michael: I mean my mother.
Brian: You don't know for sure.
Michael: That my mom lied to me? And my father is not a boring old Judy Garland.
Brian: Would you have preferred Bette Davis?
Michael: Maybe I should just forget it.
[announcer speaking.]
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, ladies who are gentlemen, gentlemen who are ladies and the Angel Ball presents our favorite angel, Pittsburghs own Miss Divina Devore."
[Divina sings "Heaven, I'm in heaven" and were uplifted by a hydrolic lifter. Brian smiles and laughs. Divina keeps singing. Michael looks at Brian in slow motion and shoves him off-camera. Everyone cheers as Michael just stands there looking at the ground. He smiles back upwards again. We can still hear Divina singing as we're backstage watching Divina take off her clothes.]
Divina: Michael.
Michael: May I come in?
Divina: Well, I don't undress before a man I barely know but in your case I'm make an expection. How'd go? Did "Angels of Pittsburgh" make buckets of bucks? It's the last benefit I ever do.
Michael: Somewhere I doubt it.
Divina: Well, you take care of yourself, Michael. It's nice to meet you.
Michael: Actually I have another favore.
Divina: Oh, for heaven sake haven't we done enough for humantiy?
Michael: It's not charity. I hope you can help me when you look at this. It's your old high-school yearbook. And this is you.
Divina: I haven't seen that in thirty... make it eighteen years.
Michael: Ever seen resemblance?
Divina: It's unmistakable I look exactly like Tom Cruise.
Michael: I meant to me.
Divina: You? [he laughs] I appreciate the flattery but frankly no. I don't see it.
Michael: How can you miss it? The way you looked back then and the way I look now. I mean we are identically twins.
Divina: I suppose when you squint a slight resemblance but so what? Here, help me with this zipper. I ask for a dresser but there are two g*dd*mn...
Michael: Are you my father?
Divina: This is a fine time to ask. You help me out of my Gaul?
Michael: You seen my mother than. The timing was exactly right...
Divina: Not to rupt. First I had to be got out here.
Michael: I mean, you and she, you'll never...?
Divina: Look at me? Do I look like the kind of guy who goes around to beg babes? You're mother was hardly my type.
Michael: But you said she was beautiful and back you used to bat for the other team.
Divina: Drag queens are notorious liars. Everyone knows that. So, what does your mother say?
Michael: She says my father was this old w*r hero.
Divina: So, why you don't believe that?
Michael: Because the story keeps changing and there's only one picture. And the guy doesn't even look like me. Look, I don't make any demands, and I not even asking to stay in touch: I just wanna know the truth.
[Divina walks back into the room dressed as a man.]
Danny: Michael, may I tell you the one truth I learn it all my years? The truth is what you choose to believe. When I'm onstage, people believe I'm Divina Devore not because I'm a great female impersonator, but because they want to.
Michael: What is this have to do whether you my father or my mother lied to me?
Danny: Your mother gave you something to believe in: a hero. A father you could be proud of. Because she loves you. That's the truth. Whether you choose to believe it or not is up to you.
[Empty strip club.]
Gary: Still here?
Justin: So, how do I do?
Gary: Not bad - for your first time.
Justin: But the tips sucks.
Gary: What do you expecting?
Justin: More than I got in the diner.
Gary: Then you need to dance on the bar.
Justin: How do I do that?
Gary: Look, you had to work your way up. Maybe in six months.
Justin: Six months? I need money now to pay for school.
Gary: Well, there is a problem. I tell you what. You give me some time, I'll give you some time.
Justin: No, thanks.
Gary: It's up to you. Oh, and if you change your mind and you decide you wanna make... say couple of thou a months, let me know.
[Justin goes to Gary and squeeze his crotch. Gary take it immediately in his mouth. Justin almost cries but doesn't stop Gary.]
[Justin goes home beaming. Brian works on his computer.]
Justin: You're still up?
Brian: Yeah, I'm doin' my homework. So, what's like?
Justin: I had to talk to the boss.
Brian: Uh-huh.
Justin: He said I could start tomorrow dance on the bar.
Brian: After only one night?
Justin: Told you I could take care of myself.
[Brian keeps working on the computer. Justin walks over and kisses Brian on the mouth. Brian looks suspicious.]
Brian: Yeah, I guess you can.
[Debbies home. Debbie's putting the fake dad away. Michael walks in.]
Michael: Ma, what are you doin' up so late?
Debbie: I couldn't sleep. What about you?
Michael: Same. I came to return the yearbook.
Debbie: You can have it.
Michael: What are you doin'?
Debbie: Puttin' things away. Make some room. Some things I had to do long time ago.
Michael: It's "Dad's shrine." You can't just read of it.
Debbie: No need for it now.
Michael: What are you talking about?
Debbie: No need to pretend, Michael. The truth is...
Michael: ...just like you said. My father is Lieutenant John Michael Novotny. Died in Vietnam, April 10, 1970. He was k*lled just two weeks after I was born when the Jeep he was driving ran over a landmine that was carving a path through the jungle on a mission to save his troops. Right, Ma?
Debbie: Right. [she says through tears.]
Michael: For which he was posthumously awarded the Purple Heart.
Debbie: And his last words were, 'Tell my son I love him more than life itself.'
Michael: 'And I'll always be proud of him.'
[Debbie and Michael embrace as the camera lifts.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x13 - It's Because I'm Gay, Right?"} | foreverdreaming |
[Dancing, dancing, dancing boys. Mostly naked dancing boys. Justin lets someone shove a dollar bill into his mouth. Staring at Justin from the bar are Brian, Emmett, Michael, and Ted.]
Michael: From high-school senior to go-go dancer in less than a year, it's gotta be a record.
Ted: Another success story from father Brian Kinney's home for runaway boys.
Emmett: And to think some people say he's doesn't make a good role model.
Ted: If I were Brian, I'd go crazy all of those boys paw my boyfriend.
Brian: [appear suddenly] I knew it must be true what they've said about music that demage your ear drums. I swear I heard you'd said if you were me?
Michael: C'mon, it gotta bother you a little bit. Everybody knows the only way you get to dance on the bar is if you left the boss blow you.
Brian: It's business.
Emmett: Getting head to get a head?
Brian: He's earning an honest living and not taking any handouts.
[Justin walks over.]
Justin: Check out how much money I make.
Brian: It's enough for the school.
Michael: Shouldn't the child didn't be home in bed?
Brian: It's a good idea.
Justin: I can't. I have to work until 2 AM.
Emmett: But sweety, you already look exhausted. Are you gonna keep it up?
Ted: Especially at home.
Justin: Don't worry.
[He's start making out with Brian. Gary comes up.]
Gary: I'm not paying you to make out with your boyfriend.
Justin: I'm on a break.
Gary: Break's over.
Brian: Relax. He's just keeping your customers happy.
Gary: It's business, Kinney. And that's not yours.
[Gary pulls Justin back into the crowd, rubbing Justin's head the entire time.]
Ted: What an assh*le.
[Gary feeds Justin's nose some coke as Brian watches.]
[s*ab. George guards Emmett in the s*ab.]
Emmett: Oh, did I ever mentioned that I have an irrational fear of any physical activity that doesn't take place in bed?
George: It's just backride. Don't be so sissy.
Emmett: Any other impossible requests?
George: Where is your sense of adventure?
Emmett: Right back in the cosy warm bed that I called out of to freeze my precious buns off to be with here with you.
George: Well, it's time you tried something daring, something new.
Emmett: Yeah, I'm perfectly happy with me boring little life right here in Pittsburgh.
George: Aren't you will travel? Go around the world?
Emmett: I believe we had this in bed last night.
George: I mean for real. When you are a little boy growing up in Haselhorst what did you're dreamed of?
Emmett: Getting out. What else?
George: What did you doin'?
Emmett: Well, Bluezy. It was the nearest airport.
George: And after that?
Emmett: I don't know. New York, Paris, Rome. Any place Audrey Hepburn never made a movie. And where the guys weren't shit kickers kicking the shit out of me. But I only got as far as Pittsburgh.
George: Well now you can go anywhere you want. The world is yours. And so is mine. Just say a word.
Emmett: The world is... mine.
[Liberty Diner. Ted, Emmett, Ben and Michael are sitting on a table.]
Michael: Around the world? The entire world?
Emmett: Yeah, Bora Bora, the Himalaya, the Serengeti. George say we could go for six months. A year.
Ted: A trip like that isn't just a vacation, it's a life experience.
Ben: There are so many place I'd love to go.
Michael: Like where?
Ben: China, Japan. Tibet for meditation.
Ted: I wanna go to Berlin, Amsterdam, Prague.
Ben: Great art, great history.
Ted: Great men.
Debbie: You don't have to leave Liberty Avenue for international cuisine. French toast, Belgian waffle, and a Spanish omelette for our little yet-setter.
[She's brought everybody's food except Ben's.]
Ben: Oh, Debbie.
Debbie: Yes, Ben?!
Ben: Sorry, but what is with me breakfast?
Debbie: Workin' on it. I have just so many hands.
Michael: It's just a crap. You always gets served last and when it's arrived it's cold.
Ben: Yeah, but I orders cereal.
[Michael gets up to talk to his mom.]
Michael: Ma!
Debbie: Yes, sweety?
Michael: What's goin' on, Ma?
Debbie: With what?
Michael: With what? About your way to t*rture Ben.
Debbie: Michael, it doesn't hop to when he order cereals.
Michael: It's more than that. You never say hello, you barely speak to him unless you have to...
Debbie: But forgive me if I'm not sitting down and chatting with him about current dance and a cup of tea. I have to be very busy. Weren't you noticed? Now, if you excuse me. I've got to get somebody his breakfast for Champions.
[Brian's loft. The alarm is going off; the clock says it's nine.]
Brian: Good morning, sunshine! [Brian's already dressed for work. Justin wrap himself with a blanket.] I thought you had a class.
Justin: I ditched it.
Brian: How you supposed to be doin your best work when you've up all night f*cking around?
Justin: I'm taking lessons from you. And I'm not f*cking around, I'm working.
Brian: Yeah, I saw your work. Your boss give you a line of coke. How do you supposed to putting yourself to school when you're geting so ham that you can't make it through the class.
Justin: $410 in one night.
Brian: For your tuition you don't have to worry about when they kick you out.
Justin: You sound like my father. f*ck off.
[Brian starts the alarm clock up again. He takes the blanket off Justin's body. Justin covers his head with a pillow as Brian leaves.]
[Diner. Debbie's happily chalking some specials on the chalkboard, popping her gum and smiling. Officer Horwarth comes in.]
Debbie: Break the case?
Det.Horvath: Nah, nothing yet.
Debbie: So, what do you doin' here?
Det.Horvath: It's a diner, isn't it? It's lunch time, isn't it?
Debbie: It's a little early, isn't it? So, what'll be?
Det.Horvath: Meatloaf sandwhich, beside fries. And you be with me goin' out tomorrow night.
Debbie: Yeah, the last item is not on the menu.
Det.Horvath: I though we could go out for a fancy coffee. You know, mocha frappulatte whatever the hell they called.
Debbie: Yeah, considering how much they step by poor like Busman's holiday.
Det.Horvath: But I would like to go out with you for a change.
Debbie: No thanks.
Det.Horvath: Was it no thanks not tomorrow or no thanks not ever?
Debbie: Just, no thanks. Hey, Horvath? You want some lemon bar for the road?
Det.Horvath: No thanks.
[Ted's farewell party to Fetch. Emmett's giving one last jerk-off to the world. Everyone from work is watching him stroke himself. Emmett pops just as Ted pops some champagne. Everyone's applauding and everybody's there.]
Ted: To Fetch Dixon, our big, big star. You're hard act to follow.
Emmett: I don't now what to say...
Ted: Good, then let's have some kick.
Emmett: However, even know I'm retiring from the buissiness I will always be grateful for my experience here and for Fetch Dixon...
Man#1: You're an inspiration to us all.
Emmett: An inspiration, wow, it's just lucky. The same thing could happen to you. You never know who's out there and watching, so never give up hope. One day your prince will come.
Brian: While Ted makes $19.95 for the first fifteen minutes.
Emmett: Oh, presents.
[Justin tries not to fall asleep.]
Brian: Working tonight?
Justin: Mmmh, 9 PM to 2 AM.
Brian: You can hardly keep your head up.
Justin: I'll be alright.
Brian: I'm sure Gary will make sure your fine.
[Justin gives him a look. Emmett holds up a product that's not called Dramamine]
Emmett: Dramamine.
Michael: It's for emotion singles.
Ted: And you'll take care of the sex." I don't get it.
Brian: Don't want me to give you the money, I loaned it to you.
Justin: I don't need your handouts.
Brian: It's not a handout, when you graduate you can pay me back.
Justin: No, thanks.
Brian: Why you are such a twat?
Justin: I'm not being a twat. I trying to look after myself. It's all I want for me.
Emmett: Dictionary of foreign phrases.
Ted: Now you can say "f*ck me faster" in Farsi.
Justin: You once told me that you want me to be the best h*m* I could possibly be. That doesn't include BMI.
Brian: Sometimes a man has to learn to accept help.
Emmett: "Here is a sexy underwear for your trip." [the box is empty] It's empty. [all laughs]
Ted: Exactly.
[Ted and Emmett clutch and hug for a long time. Then they tackle each other onto the come bed.]
[Debbie's house. Vic's reading the Personals section of the newspaper.]
Vic: White men, late forties looking for a fellow men. Pill me a grabe and I'll pill yours."
Debbie: Sounds perfect.
Vic: "HIV-negative only need apply."
Debbie: You find the right guy someday.
Vic: At my age, it'd better be someday soon.
Debbie: I don't want to hear that drap about your age. Emmett and George are happy. It only proves that love is possible no matter how old you are.
Vic: So what's your excuse?
Debbie: I doesn't have an excuse. Nor do I need one. Someone ask me out today.
Vic: You?
Debbie: Yes, me!
Vic: What I mean is, you live with f*g. You work with f*g. You haven't seen a straight man in years.
Debbie: What do you call this Detective?
Vic: The one who investigate in this case. He ask you?
Debbie: No, one other.
Vic: Holy shit. So, when you're goin'?
Debbie: I'm not.
Vic: You turned him down?
Debbie: He's not my type.
Vic: He's alive and he's got a dick. What more do you need?
Debbie: Someone who's not a h*m*?
Vic: Because he make a couple of craps? That doesn't mean he is a f*g hater just means he needs enlightening.
Debbie: So, you go out with him.
Vic: You're more his type. How long it's been since you've been on a date.
Debbie: How the f*ck do I know? 1992.
Vic: It must be so rusty it squeaks.
Debbie: I've been busy.
Vic: Do one what?
Debbie: Takin' care of you.
Vic: So, what's your excuse now?
Debbie: I already turned him down.
Vic: You're a women. Someone is out of practise. But you allowed to change your mind.
[Vic hands Debbie the phone.]
Vic: Go on. Just say yes!
[Debbie stares at the phone as we listen to the dial tone.]
[Emmet's flat. Close-up on bed springs creaking and jumping]
Emmett: Harder!
[Emmett and Michael clothed and shutting a suitcase.]
Emmett: Whew. I think I got all in there.
Michael: That's it.
Emmett: And now that I'm gone then you'll have the place all by yourself. You can hump and bump make made, passionally love with the top of your lungs without me who listen through the walls.
[There's a horn honking outside.]
Michael: It's the limo.
Emmett: C'mon up, Georgy! Got remember me not being such a shop girl. Or embarrass him worldwide.
Michael: Why would you embarrass him?
Emmett: Well, George is what we called refined. I and used to call a piece of trash. Someone like him would never assiciate with someone like me.
[Michael and Emmett struggle with Emmett's many, many bags.]
Michael: Look, you're not in Haselhorst anymore. And George doesn't feel like that way.
Emmett: I know. It's just more than I ever dreamed.
Michael: You deserves a fabulous life, Em, as fabulous as you.
[Knock at the door. It's George and his driver. George's decked out in the leather.]
Emmett: Well, hello dream date.
George: Have you packed? Oh, let me re-phrase that. Is there anything you haven't packed?
Michael: Have a great trip.
George: Thanks Michael.
Driver: I'll take that, sir.
Emmett: Well, I guess that's it. Make sure you told the assholes to fix the radiator. Oh, make sure you repains in spring? It's a promosing for two years. [both always cries.] OK. [they hug each other] I'm really gonna miss you.
George: You know, I hate to interrupt this but we got a plain to catch.
Emmett: I'll send you postcards from Rio and Beijing. Bye.
Michael: Bye.
[Babylon.]
Justin: It's just for the weekend, so that I could finished the project.
Gary: You don't understand something. This isn't a party, this is business. I need to contender that my employees that they do their jobs...
Justin: If I don't my professor said he's gonna f*re me.
Gary: I feel for you, kiddie, really do.
Justin: Gary.
Gary: I tell you what. Just as ones I let you off.
Justin: Thanks. Gary.
Gary: But... I want you do me a little favor.
[Brian's loft. Justin's working at drawing. Brian leans in and kisses him. He takes a look at something Justin's printed out.]
Brian: That's not bad.
Justin: Thanks.
Brian: Well, where we could hang it?
Justin: Really?
Brian: Then you can tell everybody you're hung.
Justin: I already do.
Brian: How you got the night off?
Justin: I told the boss I had to finished the project.
Brian: It's that easy?
Justin: Mmmh, mmh. Totally.
[Brian stands up to light his cigarette]
Justin: In fact he said I can have the whole weekend if I does a gig at an after-hours party at his house.
Brian: For what?
Justin: He needs a pretty boy there for decoration.
Brian: Who else would be there?
Justin: Should I know? His friends?
Brian: I can imagine what his friends are. I guess who's party he has.
Justin: You don't know.
Brian: How you got to dance on the bar?
Justin: I let him blow me. Big deal.
Brian: I'll give you five thousand dollars.
Justin: For what?
Brian: For the drawing.
Justin: It's not for sale.
Brian: No. Just you.
[Debbie's house. Mel and Lindsay dress Debbie for her date.]
Mel: Don't open your eyes. I do mascara.
Debbie: I don't know about the Fussies about Horwarth. He knows how I look like.
Lindsay: It's not for Horwarth, it's for you.
Debbie: I know who I look like to.
Mel: OK, ready? Open it.
[They hold a mirror in front of her face.]
Debbie: Holy shit. I look nice.
Lindsay: Nice over nice. You look like a princess.
Debbie: Well, it's better'n lookin' like the Queen Mother!
[The doorbell rings. She takes the gum out of her mouth.]
Debbie: Christ, must be him.
Lindsay: Don't be nervous.
Debbie: I'm not nervous. I have everything under control.
Mel: Oh, the front door is that way.
Debbie: Oh, yeah.
[Debbie answers the door.]
Debbie: Hi.
Det.Horwarth: You look... You look like...
Debbie: Are the word you're searching for like a princess?
[Michael and Vic are walking down the street.]
Michael: Ben's so working on his book so I figured I come down here to dinner with you and mom.
Vic: You choose between his and you, forget it. She's dugger high heels.
Michael: I do want to try.
Vic: Not tonight. She's got a date.
Michael: With a men?
Vic: Of course with a men. Why should she be any different from us?
[Michael turns around and finally notices that his mother is just a few feet away, chattering with Whorebed.]
Michael: Is that him? The Detective?
Vic: Is the Detective not sexy?
Michael: But she said he's a real h*m*.
Debbie: Hi sweetheart. Carl, you remember my son Michael?
Det.Horvath: Sure.
Debbie: And my brother, Vic.
Det.Horvath: Vic.
Vic: Hi.
Det.Horvath: Michael, how you're doin'?
Michael: [cool] Fine.
Debbie: Well, we're off.
[Carl opens the car door for Debbie. Michael stomps into the house, brooding.]
[Airplane. First Class. Emmett orders everything he can from the flight attendant.]
Emmett: I have some of the brie, please and uh, oh the chocolate and the apple. And please don't n*gga with the champagne.
George: You're eating since we took off.
Emmett: Well, it's my first time in first class. I wanna get sure you get your money's worth.
[They clink champagne glasses.]
Emmett: Listen.
George: What?
Emmett: If you very quiet you can almost hear the moos.
George: Who?
Emmett: The cattle back in Coach. You know, I used to be one of the herd, but now I'm on the other side of the curtain. It's a whole new world.
George: From now on, I hope the world will be a whole new world.
Emmett: It will be. 'Cause I'm with you.
George: Do you find it would be too tedious to tell you how marvelous you are. And how much it's mean to me.
Emmett: I would try to endure.
George: Nobody has ever given me such pleasure before, and I can't wait to make love in every destination.
Emmett: I wonder if there is a three thousand glory hole?
George: I wish we could do it right now.
Emmett: Why not? You haven't heard that there's such a thing as a Mile-High Club. You will go to the boys room first, then when no-one's looking I slip in.
[The rest he tells George in a whisper.]
George: OK.
[He unbuckles his seat belt, and walks off. Emmett waits long enough for an exhale before he's following George. Emmett enters the bathroom behind George. They giggle as they shut the bathroom door and mark it "Occupied."
[Lobsters. Fancy dinner.]
Debbie: Are you married or have children?
Carl: Yeah, two. Son Carl's, jr. He's in the air force. He is station in Germany. Here is a cup of his little ones.
Debbie: Very nice.
Carl: Here my daughter Vickie, named after her mother late soul. She is in Salt Lake and is a music teacher.
Debbie: Married?
Carl: Uh-huh, to a black guy.
Debbie: Oh?
Carl: Don't get the wrong idea.
Debbie: Did you hear me say a word?
Carl: He is nice enough. He is a lawyer, successful.
Debbie: But you don't like it.
Carl: I'm working on.
Debbie: I bet you are.
Carl: You had enough there?
Debbie: [sucks on a feeler] Mmmh, plenty.
Carl: I just don't get why she make her life more difficult. I tried talking to her.
Debbie: Yeah, but you can't dictate to your kids about how to live their live or who they love. The more you do, the worser gets.
Carl: Sounds like we're talking about personal experience here.
Debbie: My son's seeing someone who's HIV-positive.
Carl: Holy shit.
Debbie: That's what I said. I tried talking to him and but his head off.
Carl: I guess it's like you said. None of our business.
Debbie: I'm worried to, for my kid's life.
Carl: And them pretty one.
Debbie: Don't try to speak sweet talking to me.
Carl: Well, don't you take a compliment?
Debbie: Since it's so long I had one I wouldn't know what to do with it.
Carl: You save one like this.
[He take the lobster until it's soaked all over Debbie's chin and Carl has to clean her up.]
[Emmett's getting f*cked in the world's largest airplane bathroom. He's got his head slammed up against a wall as George ramming him from behind.]
George: Oh, it's tighten' here.
Emmett: Thank you.
[They're f*cking and it looks like George's either having an orgasm or an aneurysm.]
LA: Ladies and gentlemen, we're goin to turbulence...
Emmett: [to George] Them to?
LA: The captain turn on the overhead seatbells. Please take place on your seats.
Emmett: [to George] Sorry, my seats takin'.
[George doesn't look like he's doing so well. His face is all contorted and he's gasping. George starts wailing, grunting, and groaning.]
Emmett: Ssssh, the stewart hearing us.
[George screams in pain.]
Emmett: Sounds like a good one. You alright, George? [silence.] George? - George?
[Emmett realizes he's got a d*ad guy on his tail.]
Emmett: Oh my god... George. Somebody help us! George! SOMEBODY...US PLEASE!
[Debbie comes home happy as hell and a little drunk. Mikey's sitting on the couch, watching her.]
Debbie: Well, do you know? You waiting for me?
Michael: It's after midnight.
Debbie: Gotta grounded.
Michael: You're drunk.
Debbie: Only a couple of glasses wine and I had a very nice time. In case you're interested.
Michael: With that h*m* prick?
Debbie: He's not a h*m* prick.
Michael: OK, so now what is he?
Debbie: He's a fifty-five-year-old straight guy with fifty-five-year-old straight-guy attitudes who needs his eyes opened.
Michael: He's not the only one. For free meal and a little more attention you're willing to overlook all you believin'?
Debbie: You don't know him, Michael.
Michael: Either do you.
Debbie: Well, I'd like to. Well, if you can follow you're own advice that you seein' Ben. And mind your own f*ck' business! [he starts to leave] You know, I tried all my years that I raised you and looking for Uncle Vic and never takin' a minute for myself. And now, for the first time a guy ask me out and I can't even remember how long and you have a problem, instead being happy for me!
Michael: Happy for you so being desperate you go out with anyone?
[Debbie slaps Mikey across the face. He leaves.]
[Bar. Drugs. Green light. Justin's at his after-hours party. People leer at Justin as the music behind him sings, "Everyone's a prost*tute." Sex. Drugs. People touch Justin as he walks.]
Boy#1: Cool place, huh?
Justin: Yeah. Cool.
[He's quickly taken away to be fondled by party-goers. Gary walks up.]
Gary: You want one?
Justin: No, thanks.
Gary: C'mon, listen up and relax.
[Justin take it.]
Gary: Take your shirt off.
Justin: What for?
Gary: That's why you're here, remember?
Justin: Decoration.
Gary: That was the deal. [Justin take his shirt off.] That's better.
Man#1: You're little friend seems to need a little drink. We've offer him one.
Gary: Later. Let's go and chin.
[Justin watches another f*cked-up kid get slipped a roofie. Justin keeps smoking the joint.]
[Another bar.]
Ted: Michael's got Ben, you got Justin... and Emmett has George for Christ sakes. How come everyone has someone beside me?
Brian: The reason you don't have a boyfriend because you don't want one.
Ted: I know.
Brian: I had one. You challenge the world to be the yourself as the worthless sack of shit that nobody wants. Therefore you have guys who will reject you like a highschool bitch. In fact you got exactly what you want.
Ted: Thank you Dr.Kinney, you save for me years of therapy, not to mention several thousand dollars.
[Michael storms in.]
Michael: She h*t me! My mother f*cking h*t me.
Ted: She's always hitting you.
Brian: Sounds like she shows her affection.
Michael: I mean for real.
Brian: What did Mikey do?
Michael: I don't want talk about it.
[Ted counts to three and points to Michael, who spills the story right away.]
Michael: I told here that she was pathetic for dating that f*g-hating cop.
Ted: She might have to take her honorary q*eer button away.
Michael: Were all her values and principles?
Brian: You know, when you want cock, they're the first things to go. C'mon, let's go out of here.
[Mikey's driving the drunk t*nk.]
Brian: Mikey is jealous!
Michael: Would you shut the f*ck up? What do you talking about?
Brian: [to Ted] You think she did it? You think she sliped in the big geezer?
Ted: How about some music?
[Ted turns on some loud music as Michael starts speeding.]
Brian: It's just you're jealous. All your life you're a little men, all the sudden the big old guy. You're angry, rather more to k*ll.
Ted: One more word outta you and I refer you out of the car, ok? Even if it's yours!
[Police sirens.]
Michael: Shit! I've been pull over, f*ck!
Ted: You have anything on you?
Brian: Yeah, sixteen pounds of cocaine and twenty-four ounces of heroin.
Ted: There is no time to be funny!
Brian: It was paying for me.
[Ted turns off the music as Michael finally pulls over. The cop walks up to the car and knocks on the window. Michael rolls down the window.]
Cop: License and Registration, sir. [Michael give it to him] Are you the owner of the vihicle?
Michael: No, he is. [Michael points at drunk Brian.]
Brian: It's a wonderful evening isn't it, officier?
Cop: Are you aware you're speeding?
Michael: Oh, that must be why it felt we're was going so fast.
Ted: Michael!
Cop: You're doing sixty in a thirty MPH zone.
Michael: Oh, do you know a math! Get be the officer of jelly donut.
Cop: Excuse me, sir?
Michael: Look, don't you have anything useful to do? Like arrest a m*rder?
Ted: Jesus, what the hell are you doin'?
Cop: You have a problem with police officier, sir?
Brian: All he onces who date her mother.
Michael: Shut up, assh*le! [to the officier] Just give me the g*dd*mn ticket.
Ted: [to himself] Oh, no, he's do it.
Cop: Got out of the car, sir.
Ted: Now, we're getting arrested.
Michael: What else, so you can worked me over?
Ted: Oh no, we go to jail.
Cop: You to, get the hands on the car.
Ted: What did we do?
Cop: I say out!
[Drunk Brian flops out of the car holding a bottle of booze]
Brian: I were more than happy to drive with these two gentlemen home.
[Justin does more drugs. Green light. Justin's feeling pretty good about now and starts dancing around. Gary and Co. are watching. Groups of naked boys f*ck nearby. Justin's enjoying the feeling of his head being on his body. The Drug Cam makes everything elongated and crooked. Gary brings over Justin's roofie.]
Gary: You kind of thirsty. Here, drink.
Justin: Thanks.
Gary: You haven't seen my place? C'mon, I show you around.
[The drug camera is strapped to Justin as he walks into another room. People are touching Justin, and Gary shows Justin another kid getting g*ng-f*cked.]
Gary: Looks like he has a good time. You ever been on the sling? You love it. C'mon, let's do a try.
Justin: I don't... I don't want to. I don't want to.
[They don't listen, so Justin kicks Gary in the face. He busts a cap and screams at Justin.]
Gary: You not to bother coming back to work!
[First Class Section.]
Man: It appears that the gentleman have suffered a massive myocardial infarction -- a heart att*ck brought on by over-exertion.
Emmett: Thank you, doctor. I'm lucky we have a heart specialist on board.
Man: Actually I'm doctor of economics. But the same things happening with my uncle. What a way to go.
[He leaves.]
Steward: Is there anything I can get you?
Emmett: A drink? I could really use a drink.
Steward: Over ice?
Emmett: It won't be necessary. Thanks.
[He take a tiny bottle.]
Emmett: Do you mind if I stay up here and leave him alone.
Steward: Make yourself comfortable. If you just need anything just order. I'll...fetch it for you.
[Emmett sits next to George's body.]
Emmett: Hear that, George? He recognize me. I guess started some business has advantage. So, here we are, honey. Flying around somewhere between Heaven and Earth. Lost in the stars.
[Jail.]
Ted: I'm so disappointed.
Michael: I know. I f*cked up!
Ted: I mean that. [he's looking to the cell beside them.] All the p*rn flicks I've seen that takes place in prison they show these hot criminal types and heavy man-on-man action. Nothing like this.
Homless guy: And you aren't exactly that type what I was hoping for either.
Brian: I wonder who I have to blow around here to get a triple nonfat latte. [A Cop enters] If you say so.
[Detective Carl Horvath enters.]
Carl: OK, gentleman, free to go.
[Ted runs out of there.]
Ted: [to Horvath] Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Brian: [to the cop] You're housekeeping stuff deserve a trashing.
[Michael goes outside, without one word.]
Carl: A word? [Michael stops] If you had a problem talk to me about it instead of taking it out on the officier who pulled you over.
Michael: You're a h*m* bigot and I want you to stay away from my mother.
Carl: Thanks for being honest, may I be the same? I just don't hate gays, I just don't get it. But then you can say the same thing about me. So we are even. As for your mother: She is a very nice lady. Big heart, big personality, big mouth. Call me crazy, but I like that. And she sure as hell loves you. You had pay your speeding ticket at the front desk. There's no record of the night in jail for anybody.
Michael: [he goes away and then he turns around] Thanks.
[Diner. Debbie's busy. Ben and Michael are sitting on the bar.]
Michael: Mother. Mom!
Debbie: Yes?
Michael: Can we order please?
Debbie: You look like shit.
Michael: Thank you.
Debbie: What do you want?
Michael: Two eggs over bacon, a raising toast and to say I'm sorry.
Debbie: [to Ben] What about you?
Ben: Uh, Wheaties.
Michael: Mom, did you hear what I'm gonna said?
Debbie: Two eggs over bacon, raising toast.
Michael: I meant the sorry part. I'm said I'm sorry.
Debbie: Like you order something from the menu and expect me to serve you a open forgiveness you plate. Just like that?
Ben: I think I should leave and let you two work this out.
Michael: Stay. I had no right to judge Detective Horvath without knowing him. And I had no rights to say things to you I've said. You entitled to date with whoever you want.
Debbie: You g*dd*mn right I am.
Michael: Right. But then, so am I.
Debbie: [long pause] You're cereales coming right up, Ben.
Ben: Thank you.
[Justin's at home, using his left hand to cradle his right. Brian walks in.]
Justin: What happen to you last night?
Brian: Don't ask.
Justin: We have an arrangement.
Brian: Home by three or my balls turned to pumpkins. Believe me, you don't miss a thing. How was the party?
Justin: Oh, incredibly tedious. I left early.
Brian: They except this like that.
Justin: f*ck them! Anyway I quit. I decided that working all night and going to school the other day isn't productive. I need to priorities.
[Brian takes all of his clothes off and gets into bed.]
Justin: I need to concentrate of my art. So, I like to take your offer if it still stands.
[Brian looks under his decke cover.]
Brian: It still stands.
Justin: We should discusted the terms of this and my paying back schedule. And we should something arranged.
Brian: Of course. So, what have you made to change your mind?
Justin: A man needs to know when to ask for help.
[Justin turns Brian over and kisses him. Brian pulls down Justin's pants. Justin grabs the condom from Brian's hand and stares at him. They share a look. Justin unwraps the condom, puts it on himself, and starts to roll Brian over. Justin gives Brian a soothing kiss, then finishes rolling him over to f*ck his brains out.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x14 - The Dangers of Sex and Drugs"} | foreverdreaming |
[We open in Babylon, with a comic-book theme. The screen breaks into squares as we watch mostly naked men. The right side of the screen shows boxes of Justin drawing. Justin and Michael are watching the one good dancer in a neon green Speedo, and are using him as a model for Justin's drawing. The bartender tries to put a bottle of water down on Justin's drawing.]
Michael: Wow, wow, it's too hot to be a coaster.
Justin: That's the magic of Ectasy. Everybody looks good.
Michael: He's practically a superhero. All he needs it's a spandex suit and he's ready to save the universe.
Justin: There. How's that?
Michael: He needs an insign on his chest.
Justin: A lightning ball?
Michael: An "E".
[Justin draws a cape and adds an "E" to the chest.]
Michael: And a mask, of course.
Justin: Of course. Oh, and a cape?
Michael: No, that's keeps him a so last century.He doesn't use his superpower, he's a super hero without one.
Justin: How about paralyzing with radiate from his dark smell bedroom?
Michael: Oh better yet, the deem materialize from the mega blast from his super shorts?
Brian: What are you girls all giggly about?
[He sees the drawing.]
Brian: OK, no more drugs for you.
Ted: How about another drink on me?
Brian: What's the occasion? You're one million wank?
Ted: Better. The nomination of the gay p*rn award. With they recognize for his standing achievement. Not other than werkatworks very own Fetch Dixon.
Justin: You must tell Emmett. He will be so excited.
Brian: It's always great of fun when you recognize for your hard work.
Ted: He could better use it. I can't wait to read him this official letter. "Dear Mr.Schmidt. The Academy of p*rn Art and Sciences is pleased to inform you..."
[Ted finishes reading the letter to Emmett, who is appropriately in mourning.]
Ted: "...that the Star of your p*rn, Fetch Dixon, has been nominated for the covered Crystal Dick Award as Internet "Newcumer of the Year." Well? Isn't this fanastic?
[No reaction of Emmett. He lies on the sofa]
Emmett: Yeah, it's very nice.
Ted: "Nice"? Is not every day that someone get's nominated for a crystal dick. That's huge.
Emmett: Suppose.
Ted: OK, I tell you what. I hire a limo to drive us, OK? A really spectacular thing.
Emmett: Thanks Teddy, but I don't feel much like celebrating.
Ted: I know, but... it's the gay p*rn award! You know, you owe it to yourself to get out and have fun.
Emmett: I don't know. Maybe if George were still here and enjoy that with me I consider this. Besides, I still had things to do. Like figure out what I say to his funeral.
Ted: You plan on speaking?
Emmett: Yeah. Everybody should know how wonderful he was. What we've shared. And more importently I still need to say goodbye. I don't really have the chance.
Ted: Well, then you should.
[Diner. Justin and Brian are playing footsie with a fork and a spoon when Michael walks in.]
Michael: [looking to Brian] You look like shit.
Brian: What about you?
'
Michael: E-Man saved me.
Justin: Jesus. You didn't keep that.
Michael: You're kidding. It's fan- f*cking tastic!
Justin: Must be the drugs talking.
Michael: No, it's me and it got me thinking.
Brian: That's always a dangerous sign.
Michael: Do you mind if I have a conversation with your boyfriend? [Justin raises his eyebrows] After they k*lled Captain Astro people coming in my comic book store and looking for a gay superhero. You know, that take his place but it didn't exist. That's when he came to me. [to show Justin E-Man] Why waiting for someone else creating one when we can create him on ourselve?
Justin: You mean we creating our own comic book?
Michael: Why not?
Brian: OK, it's time for your medication.
Michael: People make their own films, they write books, and screenplays, so why is it so crazy?
Justin: For one thing I don't know about comics.
Michael: I do. It's my business. I've been reading comic books my entire life. I can over stories a million times. But I can't draw for shit. You can.
Justin: That could be gotta cool.
Michael: What do you say if we got together and brainstorms?
Justin: Yeah, I guess we could go a try.
Brian: Finally, you two boys will have something in common besides me. What a relief not to be the center of everyone's universe.
[Michael and Justin smile and shake their heads. Michael flies the coaster over to Justin and hits him in the head. Justin pretends to die.]
[Lindsay's leading Mel up to the attic, holding her hands around Mel's face so she can't see. Lindsay takes her hands off Mel's face.]
Lindsay: OK, open your eyes.
Mel: Wow, what I looking at?
Lindsay: My new studio. Or at least how I'm imaginated. See, I marked how everything should stand. See, the shelves.
Mel: Oh, is it the skyline?
Lindsay: It'll gives this place a nice area, don't you think?
Mel: I think it'll cost too much.
Leda: [from downstair] Hey, anybody's here?
Mel: In the attic!
Lindsay: The studiooooo! I know money is an issue. That's why I've done my research and priced all the materials.
Mel: What about the plumbers, electricians, carpenters, and skylight guys.
Leda: Wow! k*ller space.
Lindsay: It's gonna be my new studio.
Leda: Cool!
Mel: Led', you know reno. Can you prize this?
Leda: Well, if you use a contractor, my guesstimate it's been ten but by these days I say they always double your estimate.
Mel: [whistles] Too sizeable.
Leda: Unless of course I do it for you.
Lindsay: Oh, you can't possible ask that.
Leda: Who's asking? I offered.
Mel: Yeah, it still costs to much.
Leda: Beside I need a place to crush.
Mel: And we have a couch.
Leda: I have a roof over my head and in exchange you got your studio.
Mel: Well, it sounds like the perfect solution...
Lindsay: Except, as you know, our studio is a private, personal place. I like to be able to create by myself. So thank you for the offer, Leda, but no thanks.
Mel: When we're gonna start to accidentally losing fingers?
[Michael and Justin are trying to come up with the basic storyline for their superhero - in Brian's loft.]
Justin: How about this? A young scientist is doing an experiement when he bits by radiation...
Michael: ...radiation bug?
Justin: Yah.
Michael: That's Spider-Man.
Justin: Oh. [Pause] King of the seas. He breeths under water...
Michael: ...under water... That's Aquaman.
Justin: Uh! OK, I got it... he send to earth by his parents when he's just a baby, right before his planets explodes. When he gets here he discovered he has some Superpower.
Michael: You're kidding me?
Justin: You think something. You said you have a million great ideas.
Michael: Unfortunately they've all been thoughed of.
Justin: Well, maybe we should just forget it.
Michael: No, it'll come to us.
Justin: We've been sitting here for hours.
[Brian walks over to his treadmill.]
Michael: You can't rush a brilliant idea.
[They watch Brian start jogging on his treadmill.]
Michael: [looks to Brian] Well, whatever the guy is, he hasn't have to be the standard superhero stereotype case.
Justin: It's his mind that makes him sexy.
Michael: It's his weird individual.
Justin: That gives him courage.
Michael: His uncompromising moral.
Justin: That makes him strong!
Michael: What if this guy is a cold-hearted ad exec by day...
Justin: A defender of queers by night.
Michael: Now all we need is a name.
Justin: OK.
[Brian gets mad at his Walkman and throws it across the room]
Brian: f*ck this shit!
Michael: The Fury?
Justin: Pissed-Off Man.
[The film speeds up on Brian running.]
Michael: Rage.
Justin: It's genius!
[Michael writes the word "Rage" next to the drawing.]
[Emmett is wandering through George's mansion. Workers are taking statues and things out of the place.]
Butler: Mr.Honeycutt, please accept my most sincerious condolences.
Emmett: Thank you, Jonathan and mine to you. I can't image how George manage up there without you.
Butler: He's in far more capable hands now. I expect that you come to get your things.
Emmett: Actually I prefer to do this for myself. I'll be in his room a last time. And I was kind of hoping to take a little of something to remember him. His red cardigan...
Mrs.Schickle: Jonathan! Go get Mr. Schickle's sweater!
[The butler leaves to get the sweater.]
Emmett: I'm so sorry, Mrs.Schickle. I know losing George is a tremendious lost.
Mrs.Schickle: I don't know how I'll manage to fill the void. Careful with that! That's very valuable.
Emmett: I'm sure you find a way.
Mrs.Schickle: Now, if you'll excuse me. There are so much I have to do.
Emmett: I can imagine. I call when someone passed away my mom cooking for days.
Mrs.Schickle: Cooking?
Emmett: Well instead of making the funeral to a mourning occasion and tried to turned into a celebration of a beloved live. That's what I planed to do with George's services.
Mrs.Schickle: Oh that's very sweet, but really it's not necessary.
Emmett: It's necessary for me.
Mrs.Schickle: Unfortunately it won't be time. You see, George was a very important man. There will be many prominent speakers tomorrow. CEO's, political and spiritual leaders. Oh, here is the sweater you're requested. Take it, along with your memories. I'm sure they'll give you great comfort.
[Michael's shop is now filled with Justin's drawings.]
Justin: I want him a different look, like no-one's ever seen.
Michael: And different stories. You know, not that f*cking things in straight comics. Our guys are gay. They live in a gay world.
Justin: He has gay sex.
Michael: And his superpower are to.
Justin: So, what kind of stories?
Michael: There was one story I'm thinking about but...
Justin: What?
Michael: Never mind.
Justin: C'mon, tell me! We're partners now. We gotta share what in our minds.
Michael: I was thinking that Rage save some other kid's life after his was bashed. [long pause] I told you that was a dumb idea. I never should have brought this up.
Justin: I think it's a great idea.
Michael: You do? [he nodds] I mean it's awfully personal.
Justin: But best art usually really is. Besides, I wanna talk about it. The trouble is no-one would ever listen. They all pretend it didn't happen.
Michael: Now, here is your chance.
Justin: And it could be how Rage meets the love of his live.
Michael: I though Rage didn't believe in love.
Justin: We'll let him think that.
[Brian is on his back, smoking in a blue light. Justin finally comes home late.]
Justin: You're up?
Brian: Well, again. And you're late. Touch after three.
Justin: It doesn't count. I was with Michael.
Brian: All f*cking night?
Justin: Only 5 minutes. And the stuff he came up was amazing. It's like we share the same brain.
Brian: You gotta mind if you has it on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. What's that?
Justin: This is research. Michael wants me to study the style of comics.
Brian: Come over here.
[Justin crawls into bed with Brian. They start kissing. The phone rings. Brian answers.]
Brian: What?!
Michael: Put Justin on. Quick!
Brian: It's f*cking four in the morning.
Michael: Creativity doesn't punch a time clock!
Brian: Oh, my God, that is so profound. Can you hold on while I write it down?
Justin: Are you a freak?
Michael: I just got this idea that couldn't wait for.
Justin: What? Tell me.
Michael: There is those chiropractor...
[Brian takes the phone and hangs up on Michael.]
Brian: Night Mikey.
Justin: That was important.
Brian: So is this.
[They go back to kissing. Justin turns over so that Brian can kiss down his back. Justin is snoring.]
[Mel and Lindz attic. A tv screen. There is a how-to videotape.]
TV: "I can't think of anything more rewarding and relaxing than renovating an old attic. And it's so simple. It just need a few tools and some well chosen materials. And in no time the empty space will do transformed into a cosing living area that sure to be one of your favourite places in the house. I know mine is. And most importantly it'll be [she snaps with her finger] a snap!"
[Brian comes in the attic, where Mel and Lindz looking at the TV screen.]
Brian: [points to tv] Who's this crazy bitch?
Mel: It's a re-modeling video.
Lindsay: The salesperson at the hardware store said to follow along and doing exactly what she does.
Brian: Well then you already have f*cked up.
Mel: Why's that?
Brian: You don't wearing pearls.
TV: "Let's measure our wood lengthwise."
Brian: Excuse me, girls. That's the wrong way.
Mel: What do you know?
Brian: When it comes to measuring woods I'm an expert.
[The girls turn the wood the other way and measure again.]
Lindsay: See how easy this is? I told you we don't need Leda.
Brian: Do I detect a note of jealously?
Lindsay: Of Leda? [she's laughing.] Don't be ridiculous.
Brian: Then why the f*ck you don't help you out?
Mel: That's what I like to know.
Lindsay: I already told you. We could do it on ourselves.
[The lady on the screen cuts plywood with a powersaw.]
TV: "There. See how easy the plywood cuts? A nice, clean egde. And never sort of wood to waste. I collect all the part in a store in the freezer. In the spring I mixed with fresh soil and have interesting and in expensive march for my garden."
[Lindsay puts on her protective goggles and turns on the saw. She screams as the saw comes to life. She almost cuts Mel in half.]
Brian: [shouts] What kind of a d*ke are you? You can't even handle power tools.
Lindsay: Go away and looking for Gus!
Mel: You still has your legs.
[The girl on the screen delivers the punch line.]
TV: "It's a snap!"
[George's service. A gentleman says nice things about George.]
Speaksmen: George loved his city, he loved his company but most of all he loved his family. I reminded of a story that he and his devoted wife, Virginia, wants relate to me. One day came Franky from school to learn of the hungry children, victoms of an earthquike in south america.
[Ted and Emmett are very, very late for the service and walk in talking.]
Ted: [whispers] This is some event. Everybody of everybody's are here.
Emmett: I do what I need to do. More reason I'm glad I came.
Ted: Let's find a seat.
Speaksmen: A family man who carry about familes, that what's George Schickle was all about. I for one will miss him deeply.
[The Pastor speaks.]
Pastor: It's obvious that this man not only broughed nurseband to the world...
Ted: Go on. Now it's your chance. Just do it.
[Emmett stands up and starts walking toward the front.]
Emmett: I like to say something.
[Mrs. Pickle motions for Security, and guards escort Emmett out.]
Security: Sorry, sir. There is friends and family only.
Emmett: I'm a friend. I'm more than a friend!
Ted: Take your hands off of him!
Minister: Would everybody raise for the 24 Psalm?
[Brian comes home and his loft in a complete shithouse mess. Michael and Justin have turned the house into a comic-book studio. There are papers everywhere -- hung up on clothesline, covering the floor, taped to the walls... everywhere.]
Michael: [to Justin] Perfect. This looks just...
Brian: Excuse me? Has anybody seen my f*cking floor?
Justin: Uh-uh, don't get him mad.
Michael: He'll use his telecinetic d*ad stare that my head exploded.
Justin: Don't miss use our power to control the other.
Brian: What I want is my loft. [he rips down one of the papers.]
Michael: Don't touch that!
Justin: Hey, this is our sequence. Don't walk that way.
Brian: Well, how the hell I'm suppose to get to my bedroom?
Michael: Go around.
Brian: Uh-huh. [He doesn't]
Michael: Hey!
[The boys go back to planning their comic book. Michael's character's name is Zephyr.]
Justin: Look, here is were Zephyr tries to stop Rage from using his head buds.
Michael: You think Zephier could be taller, with bigger pecs.
Justin: What for?
Michael: Well, he's Rage's best friend. He should look almost as good.
Justin: You've got it, Zeph.
Brian: You know, speaking of pecs. It's Chest of Death night at Babylon.
Michael: Mmmh-mmm.
Justin: Okay.
Brian: So, get ready.
Justin: We got finished that first.
Michael: We meet you there.
Brian: Just remember, all work and no dick make Mikey and Sunshine dull boys.
[Chest of Death contest.]
Men: OK, we're down to our six finalists. Who's the man with the hottest pecs in Pittsburgh? Uh honey. Are this nipples or bathstops tappers?
[All laughs.]
Men: All right boys. C'mon, let's pick the one.
[All cheers. The camera spins over to Ted and Emmett.]
Emmett: To be thrown out like so much garbage.
Ted: I know, I was there.
Emmett: But those two, huge, brutal monsters!
Ted: In other circumstances, it might've been hot.
Emmett: I guess I'm never get to say my speech now.
Ted: Say it to me. I'll listen.
Emmett: Thanks Teddy. Wouldn't be the same.
[Cut to Ben and Brian stand on the catwalk.]
Ben: Something tells me we've been stood up.
Brian: Over a comic book.
Ben: More than just a comic book. There's nothing as sexual as the act of creation. When I'm writing and it's poring out of me that's what I'm really turned-on. Sometimes I even get hard on.
Brian: Is this what they mean with a stroke of genius?
Ben: It's the f*cking great orgasm what is.
Brian: You're have your orgasms on books and I have mine with real men.
Men: [on stage] Number five. Do you have anything you like to get off your chest? How about me?
[the men are laughs and cheers]
Ben: It's the same with Michael and Justin. What they sharing is most intense form of intimacy there is. Nothing. Not even the hottest f*ck in the world can come close. So, how's with another drink? Our boyfriends are cheating us.
[The attic for the girls.]
Lindsay: See? I told you we could do it.
Mel: Yeah, we did it alright - some as.
[It looks like maybe pieces of wood are just nailed to the walls in various places.]
Lindsay: It's not so bad. After we plaster over to fix the few little imperfections won't even show.
[She turns the videotape back on. It's time to install the new sink.]
TV: "In starring your new place to be, a snap."
Mel: Everything with this bitch is a snap.
TV: "We're already attached it to the wall and it only took 20 minutes."
Mel: Just seven hours and twenty minutes now."
[Lindsay gets into position to set up the sink.]
TV: "Let's conntect the sink to our pipes. Take your wrench and with a strong, circular motion twin the end of the pipe. Like so."
Lindsay: Oh, can you help me out here?
TV: "Now we attached our pipe - it's up next."
[She causes a giant leak. Water sprays everywhere as the girls shriek and bicker with each other.]
TV: "Be sure you turned off the water first or you have a disaster on your hands."
Mel: Has you turn off the water?
TV: "There! Now you have running water in your attic."
[Brian has brought home two horny men to f*ck. They all hug and kiss in the doorway.]
Brian: We're have our little contest of our own. Careful, don't step on anything... it's all in sequence. [he walks over to his bedroom singing] Rise and shine, Sunshine!
[He sees Justin and Michael in his bed, fully clothed, Michael's left pinky thr*at to come near Justin's thigh.]
Brian: Shit.
[He goes back into the main room and kicks out his two tricks.]
Brian: The party's over. Put your clothes on! Just get out, ok? GET OUT! GO!
[Brian starts cussing, pulling the drawings down from the clothesline. He kicks papers. He pulls the drawings down and crumples them. He walks around destroying all of the drawings. Brian stops to pant for a second, then unzips his pants and pisses a neon yellow stream of urine all over a pile of drawings.]
[Morning. Michael and Justin are snuggling in bed. They put their hands down to Justin's cock. Each thought the other was his boyfriend. Michael and Justin realize they fell asleep together.]
Justin: What the f*ck...?
Michael: I thoughed we were Ben.
Justin: I thoughed you are Brian.
Michael: I guess we're fall asleep.
Justin: Brian? Michael?
[Justin sees the damage first. Their stuff's been trashed. They are unhappy.]
Michael: Holy shit.
[Brian stares into his cup of black coffee. He's at the diner. Justin and Michael storm in, pissed off.]
Michael: Did you do this?
[Michael asks as he holds up a piece of paper.]
Justin: Did you?
Michael: Answer us!
[He says nothing.]
Justin: You are totally f*cked.
Michael: How dare you piss on our work?
[Debbie hears the word "piss".]
Justin: Did you have any idea how many hours that we put into that?
Michael: We want an explanation.
Justin: Besides the fact that you've been the worlds biggest prick!
[Brian says nothing and goes back to his paper.]
Michael: Won't just sit there!
Justin: Say something.
Michael: C'mon. Let's go. One last thing. [he pushes the pee page over to Brian.] You're the one that's pathetic.
[This time the boys really do leave. Debbie walks over with a pot of coffee, wearing a shirt that reads "Labia? I hardly even know ya." She slams the pot down beside Brian.]
Brian: Give me a minute between rounds then and then you can go.
Debbie: Article fourteen of the Supermom handbook says no kicking assholes when they're down. They might take away my halo.
Brian: I'm not an assh*le; I'm just drawn that way.
Debbie: I'm sorry to disagree with you but this time the lightness were over...
Brian: I thoughed you won't b*at me up.
Debbie: Let me finish. But I understand. Cause you're jealous.
Brian: I don't do jealous. Jealous is for lesbians.
Debbie: Then you'd better start liking p*ssy. Cause you're got a little green-eyed monster inside you and it's eaten your gut.
Brian: You mean that's not your coffee?
Debbie: I figured you had some smart idea that you feeling always. But you don't fool me. Cause if you didn't love them as much as you do you wouldn't give a shit that they're spending time together and sharing something you're not a part of.
[Debbie yanks Brian's face over to force him to look at her.]
Debbie: What you don't get is that they feel the same way about you. Even more so.
[Debbie holds the pee paper up.]
Debbie: They worship the way you've walked on, can't you see it? You're their f*cking hero. At least you were.
[Emmett's eating from a jar of his d*ad boyfriend's pickles.]
Ted: It's the Night of Nights. What everyone in these industrie counts and waited for all year. When the Granada Inn is transformed into an X-rated Xanadu. Then after the ceremonies there is the Governor's Ball. Every p*rn star were be there in person. Zack O'Toole, Rodger Morehead, Will Hardin. Only this this time you're one of them, Emmett. The possible newcomer of the year.
Emmett: Pickle?
Ted: You heard what I just said?
Emmett: You know, when I put George's sweat on I feel if his arms are still around me. His smells is on it. The delicate combination of vanilla and dill.
Ted: Emmett! George wouldn't be a hermit.
Emmett: He was one... for years. Now I understand why.
Ted: Listen to me. If you let those people get your pride they've won. It's more important ever that you get out and celebrate.
Emmett: Celebrate what? That I whacked off on a website?
Ted: You made a lot of people happy. Especially George.
Emmett: Sorry, Teddy.
Ted: OK, this is my last and my best plea. I let you win. I accept your Crystal Dick. I tell the world how proud I am of you.
[Woody's. Justin and Michael are out having drinks.]
Justin: f*cking assh*le ruined everything.
Michael: At least we backed everything up on your hard drive or else we'd really be f*cked.
Justin: You all we do is to reprint and undercover a hundred dollar would that be cost.
Michael: I send Brian the bill. You know how hard he can get when he's behavior.
Justin: But we're doin' a comic book!
Michael: Well, we did kinda exclude him.
Justin: We were working.
Michael: In his place, in his face. Last night we've been end in bed.
Justin: It's not that we're f*cking.
Michael: I guess even a superhero can morph into a jerk.
Justin: Don't tell me you're forgive him.
Michael: Who said that?
Justin: I know you're functional history, you can forgive him everything.
Michael: Well you're be happy to know even if I glad to punishment everything is filled.
Justin: All this time I fooling myself, thinking he loves me.
Michael: He does love. You saw his face this morning. We could have removed his teeth with pliers and he would have let us.
Justin: Maybe we should have. He deserves it.
Michael: Well we're know that Rage has a fatal weakness, and it's not kryptonite.
[p*rn awards. Two p*rn stars deliver bad writing stiltedly.]
Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome last year "Best Bottom in a g*ng Bang" and three time nominate for the best "Jerk-Off So Long" Mike Thompson and Jason Cocks!"
Mike: Well Jas, three times nominate for best Jerk-Off. You're up with this?
Jason: I'm up with you, buff. Maybe this time I pulled it off.
Mike: Don't pull that, you'll never win.
Jason: Now, let's get the nominate.
Mike: Nominate for the "Best Newcomer Of The Year"...
Jason: Max Pullman.
Mike: Harold Linch.
Jason: Fetch Dixon.
Mike: The jury harm. The winner is...
Both: Fetch Dixon.
[All cheers. Ted screams for joy. On stage.]
Ted: All those years watching Jason Cocks, I can't believe I shake his hand. The hand! Oh my god. To be holding that Crystal Dick... such a thrill. No, I'm not Fetch Dixon. Well I'm here accepting for him tonight, because...
[Emmett walkes up.]
Emmett: Because... [the audience cheers] Because without you, Ted Schmidt, I would never be here tonight.
[Applauds]
Emmett: Thank you. This award means a lot to me, more than you ever know. If I hadn't been on JerkAtWork.net, I wouldn't have met the most wonderful man I've ever known, George Schickle.
Men: Schickle's Pickles?
Emmett: Um, I have this speech prepared... didn't think I get the chance to read it. To the world - George Schickle was a men of permanence and wealth. But to me he was just... George. Loving, factionate, a boy at hard who just wanted to love another boy. I was lucky enough to be that boy. I'd like to think I brought a little fun into his life, but what he gave me was so much more. Something all his money couldn't buy. He made me feel like I was somebody. [He folds up the paper] I love you, Georgie. What we had for a few short months was more than most people have in a lifetime. Thank you.
[The crowd applauds as Ted comes up and hugs Emmett.]
[Mel and Linds. Leda unpacks her clothes.]
Leda: I'm glad you two came finally to your senses. If you made any more of a mess, I have to detonate instead of renovate.
Mel: Aha.
Lindsay: Ha-ha.
Mel: We know, we know. We're really screwed up.
Leda: Big time, babe. But it's not to late.
Lindsay: So, how long do you think it'll would take to repair the damage?
Leda: All depends on the triangle of expectation. You can have it fast and cheap but it won't be good. If you have it good and fast but that won't be cheap. Or you can have it cheap and good but it won't be fast.
Mel: So with another words it'll take 'till the next months.
Lindsay: Or Christmas, whatever comes first.
Leda: But not to woory, ladies. You won't even know I'm here.
[She turns on a boombox. Mel holds up a baby monitor.]
Mel: Oh. Well, goodnight Led's.
Leda: Good night.
Lindsay: I'll be right up. [Mel leave the room.] I just wanna say how grateful I am your doin' this. And how happy I am you're here.
Leda: You and me both. Otherwise I would be sleeping in the park.
Lindsay: But I must admit I had my reservations.
Leda: I know. But you don't have nothing to worry about. Mel loves you very much.
Lindsay: Thanks.
[Michael and Justin come home to the loft. All of their papers are back up and arranged, or reprinted.]
Justin: What the f*ck?
Michael: All things back.
Brian: Careful boys. Don't step on anything.
Michael: Alright Kinney, what's goin' on?
Brian: I read your shit it's... f*cking good. And the artwork is... art. But that's the way I expect it.
Justin: Don't try sweet-talk to accomplish that, bighead.
Michael: Don't think just by putting everything back the way we're gonna forget.
Justin: You owe us a apology.
Michael: So start begging.
Brian: I'm sorry.
Justin: That's not good enough.
Brian: What the f*ck do you want me to do? To grab it?
Michael: Mean it!
Brian: What I did was immature, childish, and addictive. It was an act of cruelty because of irrational fears and unfounded jealousy. If I were you I've never speak to me again.
Justin: That's better.
Michael: It's really good. So why you prefer when you were shameless and unapologetic?
Brian: Now, here's the deal. Finish your work, built on my chin on a superhero for Christ sakes! And when you're done I built up a marketing campaign that every f*g on internet would buy it. That if is you want me to.
[Michael and Justin are look each other.]
Michael: Deal.
Justin: Deal.
[Brian jams his shoulder into Justin's chest and they share a smile. The boys sit down as Brian stares at a drawing of Rage. He listens to the boys work, and stares at himself. Cut to a comic-book animation of Rage flying through Pittsburgh. He lands on top of Babylon.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x15 - Rage Against This Machine"} | foreverdreaming |
[Justin showing Michael the latest sketches of the gay-bashing episode of their comic book.]
Justin: Here's were Rage Zipher discover that J.T.'s beating for death backing of gay bashers.
Michael: It's kinds gory.
Justin: It's supposed to be.
[Ben searches between them for his Palm Pilot.]
Ben: I'm sure I left it here.
Justin: Here's Rage zapping the bashers with his mind destory.
Ben: He's what?
Michael: He use his mind destorshing field so that they thing they all f*g.
Justin: And they b*at each other to death.
Ben: Wow, that ones happens.
Michael: Then he endure J.T. in his arms and takes him up for his liar for his cyber-gayopolis.
Justin: And he brings J.T. back to life with a lots of heavy kissing and deep a**l penetration.
Michael: Which is from the art of illustration is Justin's favorite part.
Ben: Yes, I see. Where the hell is my Palm?
Michael: Try in my bedroom. May it dropped out of your pocket when you dropping out of your pants.
Ben: Mmmh, good thinking Boy-Toy Wonder.
[They kiss each other. Ben leaves. Michael slides his hand under Justin's notepad and comes up with Ben's Palm Pilot.]
Justin: You stole it?
Michael: [whispers] I borrow it. Ben gots a buddy list in here and I call everybody and invite them for his surprise party.
Justin: When is his birthday?
Michael: Saturday.
Justin: No shit! That's mine!
Michael: Really?
Justin: Yeah. Isn't that the most amazing coincidence?
Michael: What? You two have the same birthday?
Justin: That you and Brian are in love with guys who have at the same birthday.
Ben: [comes back] Uh, no luck in the bedroom.
Michael: That's a first!
[Something rings in the kitchen.]
Ben: I know my Palm isn't the way of art, but it works.
Michael: You must stay for dinner. Ben's making pike.
Ben: Then we're gonna watch Sunset Boulevard.
Justin: I can't. Brian and I are going to...
Ben, Michael and Justin: [at the same time] Babylon.
Justin: Babylon, yeah.
[Ben and Michael are kissing each other.]
[Babylon. Brian, Justin, and Ted are doing tequila sh*ts.]
Justin: [to Brian] Isn't that the most amazing coincidence?
Brian: That you and Ben like seven hundred million people have birthday on the same day?
Ted: So, how remember you that big event? Going to Key West, or getting some kind of car.
Justin: That sounds good.
Brian: I'm not.
Ted: You're not?
Brian: It's a f*cking birthday. Anybody can get born, even you. Only thing we're celebrating is the achievement.
Ted: I remember you throw Michael a little suprprise party last year.
Justin: I agree with Brian. I think birthday are silly innocent unnecessarily.
[Emmett dances up to the bar and tells his dance partner]
Emmett: OK, thanks for the ride, sweetheart, but here's where I get off.
Ted: Some catch. Why you throwing back?
Brian: Not big enough?
Emmett: Sure he's big enough.
Brian: Still in mourning?
Emmett: I tried boys, I tried booze, I tried pills but I'm still in the Valley of the Dolls.
Ted: Well, maybe you need some spiritual sucker.
Brian: Yeah, you should called my mothers minister. He gaves great head.
Ted: It's not the healing I had in mind. You're coming with me, tomorrow. To church.
Emmett: Church?
["Celebratory Church."]
Minster: And the book could only have been written, directed, and conceived by God.
Ted: [to Emmett] Isn't Ref.Brett incredible?
Emmett: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he should win a...Tony.
Ref.Brett: Raise, raise! And following the hymnals.
[All raise and sing a song.]
Ted: Didn't you feel?
Emmett: I think it takes a little bit more than a showtime.
[Beside Ted stands a cute man. They share a song book. After the celebration they clean up.]
Man: I was with the Peace Corps for a few years, but then I decided what I really wanted was to work with kids.
Ted: That's sweet!
Man: I have teach the second grades. The sweet isn't exactly the word.
Ted: I'm sure they adore you.
Man: I love it and it allowes me time to volunteer at the gay youth support line, to train for the AIDS Ride on the weekend, and of course I help out at the church.
Ted: Oh course. I'm impressed.
Man: I'm still about myself. What about you? Tell me what you do.
Ted: Me?
[Next blurb of images: two guys showering, one washing the other's back; sh*t of ass sex; sh*t of an ass, one hand near the left cheek; a hand pulling an ass in tighty- whities closer, the hard-on visible through the fabric; tongues touching; a rocket taking off; blue-gloved hands pulling sausage out of a machine, stroking it as it grows; a black-and-white hot dog getting pulled away from another mustard-soaked hot dog in a bun; a subway tunnel; a cartoon dog driving a red hot rod that's out of control; and a zeppelin. This is during jungle drums and animal noises.]
Man: Ted?
Ted: Mmmh?
Man: Where you just go?
Ted: Oh, nowhere. I was just... just thinking what you said.
Man: So, what do you do?
Ted: I... working in computers.
Man: Sales or programming?
Ted: I run my own dot-com company.
Man: Really? An entrepreneurial. So what kind of company is it?
Ted: You know, dealing with people needs. Relief work.
Man: Somehow, I knew you'd do something that involved helping others.
[Ted laughs guilty.]
[Liberty Diner.]
Brian: A surprise party?
Emmett: So, what do you planned up?
Michael: Do?
Emmett: Ya, after everyones jumps out and screams the word "surprise".
Michael: I don't know. I'd think we sing "Happy Birthday" and cut the cake, open presents.
[Emmett rolls his eyes.]
Brian: Any kind of nudity and drugs?
Michael: This isn't anyone of your affairs. Besides I'm not roling doups, I can't afford an elaborate party.
Emmett: Sweetheart, you don't need a lot of money. You just need a theme. What's Ben into?
Michael: Yoga. Buddhism.
Brian: Oh, we can meditate! That sounds like fun.
Emmett: OK, give me a minute here. OK, it's coming to me, I've getting an idea. Why don't we do a Geisha/Sushi/Miss Saigon kind of thing? We can transform Ben's apartment into a Far Eastern phantasmagoria. Coloured entrance.
Brian: Better yet, why don't you buy a bottle of sake and a copy of Kama Sutra and f*ck your brains out? It would be cheaper.
Emmett: You just leave it to me. I'll make sure the party it's unforgetable.
Debbie: Who's having a party?
Michael: Nobody.
Debbie: Must be such of a guest lists.
Brian: Ben's birthday. And Michael's gonna throwing a surprise party.
Debbie: It's nice.
Man: Hey Deb, you're orders are up!
Debbie: Orders up. Kind back of work. [she goes away]
Michael: What the f*ck you tell her?
Brian: Why the f*ck do you keep it a secret?
Michael: Because I don't wanna her give me more shit about Ben.
Emmett: Maybe if you invited her...
Michael: What for? She didn't come anyway.
[Cut to Mel and Lindsay. We see when Justin's eating pasta.]
Lindsay: What do you mean he's not doin' anything?
Justin: [full mouth] Brian doesn't believe in birthdays -- not even his own.
Mel: What kind of bullshit is that?
Lindsay: He almost kills himself when he turned 30.
Mel: Who's talking about his birthday? We're talking about Justin's. What is his problem of turning 19?
[The camera pulls back as Mel tickles Lindsay's boobies behind Justin's head.]
Justin: He believe in celebrating a accomplishment, unsentimential rituals.
Mel: Oh, bla-bla-bla. What the hell he do? Brain-washing you? Everybody deserves a little attention of there birthday.
Lindsay: Especially from the person they'll love. When Brian's not gonna do anything, we will.
Mel: Yeah, what do you say when we're go to dinner and movie?
Lindsay: That's not very special. We can do that at any time.
Mel: OK, let's throw a party.
Justin: I hate parties.
Mel: He hates parties.
Lindsay: Besides, Michael's giving Ben one. I know! You're coming with us - saturday afternoon.
Justin: Where?
Lindsay: A friend of mine teaches who teaches at the music department at your school invited us to a violin recital.
Justin: A violin recital?
Lindsay: She said the student who's playing is a genius.
Justin: I'm not really in the class for music!
Mel: Well, maybe it's time you're expose yourself to a higher form of cultural expression than a thumba-thumba Babylon.
Lindsay: Maybe he doesn't wanna go, don't force him. Oh, she also said he's really cute.
[Justin slurps the last of his bite of spaghetti as the camera zooms to his mouth.]
Justin: Why didn't you say so?
[Ben stops at a street flower vendor. Ben hands Michael a fistful of surprise flowers.]
Ben: This is for you.
Michael: But it's your birthday.
Ben: You know what they say - it's better to give...
Michael: Well receiving is not to bad, either. You know, when you're subject your birthday...
Ben: Yes, please nothing special. Just keep it civil and locate, okay?
Michael: Simple and located. I thoughed we could go for dinner.
Ben: Some place easy and casual, nothing fancy.
Michael: How about the Liberty Diner?
Ben: Not that casual.
Michael: How about meeting at your home. What time your get home?
Ben: If I had my damn palm I could say it for sure, but lets see class until four, then the doctors and yoga, so say 7:00. Well, let's make it 7:30.
Michael: Perfect.
Paul: Ben?
Ben: Hey, Paul! [They hugs each other.]
Paul: How you're doin', baby?
Ben: Good, and you?
Paul: I have no complaints.
Ben: Paul, this is Michael.
Paul: Well Michael, I've heared Ben was seeing someone.
Ben: Word travels fast.
Paul: Around here. Listen, we should get together. Why don't you call me sometime?
Ben: I will, I'll do that.
Paul: See ya Michael.
Michael: See ya. Nice guy.
Ben: Paul, yeah, he's a sweetheart. Actually we were together about five years ago. We're stay friends all over the time. It was not easy.
Michael: Wait, isn't that the time you found out that you're...
Ben: positive, yeah. He's the one who infected me.
Michael: What f*ck...!
Ben: No, no, no, it's okay. He didn't know and I've should have been more careful. Anyway, I've forgive him.
[The boys gym.]
Michael: The man is perfect. There is no other explanation. How else could you forgive the guy who infected you?
Emmett: Tryin' nuts.
Ted: Different than me. I would k*ll him!
Michael: Ben's not like that. The men is to free himself from all the emotion bag as the rest of us carrying around.
Ted: Well, how he doesn't?
Emmett: I think he's doin' a lot of that yoga stuff.
Ted: You're doin' such a bad job and built him out.
Emmett: What about you? You're do up with the guy at home?
Ted: You're mean St.Luke?
Emmett: Something tells me you're interesting him isn't entirely spiritual.
Ted: He is the sweetest, the kindest, the sexiest, the most adorable guy I've ever meet.
Michael: So, what does he think about you?
Ted: He think I've running a relieve organisation.
Emmett: What?!
Michaeö: What?!
[3 times.]
Ted: Yep, me the Red Cross and the Unicef.
Emmett: And how comes that he get that impression?
Ted: Well, he ask me what I've did and I...
Emmett: Lied.
Michael: Why the hell you do that?
Ted: He's a church running elementry school teacher who does charity work for f*ck sakes. What could he think when I say that I'm the CEO of JerkAtWork.net.
Michael: Well, if he does perfect as you say he probably wouldn't care.
Emmett: Well, boys. You date your saints. I'll stick to the sinners.
[Brian's loft. Lindsay and Mel are there.]
Mel: But it's his birthday, for christ sakes!
Lindsay: Couldn't you least have a cake?
Brian: I don't need any cake. I gained three ounces last week. Now, could you please get back, I have work to do.
[Justin walks out trying to figure out his tie.]
Mel: Hey, you look spiffy.
Lindsay: A new sport coat?
Justin: Yeah, my mom got it for me for my birthday.
Brian: Didn't your Daddy ever keep you how to tie a tie?
Justin: No, he was to busy to kicking me out and beating the shit out of you.
[Brian ties Justin's tie.]
Brian: Well, neither than mine. He was to busy after the day I was born. This isn't the birthday suit I like to you in. And now, go get some culture. [he kisses Justin on his forehead.]
Justin: Don't work to hard.
[Mel and Justin leaves, but Lindsay goes back to Brian.]
Brian: You forget something?
Lindsay: I don't understand you! [She yells over the music]
Brian: Few do.
Lindsay: It's obvious how much you love him. But you won't celebrate his birthday because you doesn't consider it an accomplishment. Isn't it an accomplishment that he's alive and well? Isn't that enough reason to celebrate?
[The recital. Mel's got open mouth going as she watches the guy play. He's young, with dark greasy hair. There's a black, tiny p*ssy of hair under his lower lip. Justin loves this new boy. Loves him so much he has to pull a pencil out of his chest pocket and starts drawing the boy on his program.]
[Debbie's house. Vic comes from upstairs to Michael.]
Vic: I found it! I wored it to the Winter Drag Ball in '89. I was Cho Cho San, you're mother was Pinkerton. I promised Emmett to borrowed him for the party.
Michael: He will make a fabulous hostess.
Vic: He'll be astonish.
Michael: Just don't be late.
Vic: And don't you be nervous.
Michael: I just want everything to come off as planned, you know for Ben.
Vic: It'll be the social event of the season.
[Debbie comes in with the washing laundry.]
Debbie: What's the social event of the season? h*m*-Hopp at Babylon?
Vic: Ben's suprprise party.
Debbie: Oh.
Michael: I just telling Vic not to be late.
Debbie: Uh-huh.
Michael: You know, if you wanna come...
Debbie: No, it's okay. I got plans. I'm... I'm... I'm going to movies with my... my friend Rosie. But please wish him many happy returns from me.
Michael: I will. [to Vic] And I'll be sure to get this to Emmett.
Vic: See ya, Michael.
[He leaves.]
Vic: You haven't been spoke to Rosie in twelve years?
Debbie: You never know, she give me a call. Help me with this.
[Debbie throws a sheet at Vic.]
Vic: I thoughed you make more than a effort for Michael and Ben are concern.
Debbie: You see me giving him any grieve?
Vic: I don't see you giving him any joy.
Debbie: I agree to tolorated, not indorsed.
Vic: Maybe you could up with your commitment a nutch. You gotta admit. Ben's been a positive influence on him.
Debbie: Positive! Exactly!
Vic: And despite all of your dark affairs and inspire predictions, they both seem to be doin' just fine. So why not be a sport? They make to get happy.
[After the concert. Ethan gives autographs. Lindsay, Melanie and Justin are at the buffet]
Mel: Isn't he amazing, or what?
Lindsay: And to think he's so young.
Justin: He started his play when he was four. The study with the great Andreas Wischnewski.
Mel: I thoughed you didn't known anything about classical music.
Justin: I read the program.
Lindsay: I think we're witnessing a conversion experience.
Mel: Another lesbian success story.
Lindsay: Oh, there's Susan. I'd better thank her for the tickets.
[Lindsay takes Mel with her. Justin's alone, sauntering up to the violinist.]
Justin: I comes by to saying you're just great.
Ethan: The Ravel was passable but the Brahms was for shit.
Justin: I didn't noticed.
Ethan: Yeah, well, you should've; it was all your fault.
Justin: Me?
Ethan: Yes. Were you staring at me was very distracting.
Justin: I'm sorry.
Ethan: Although not necessarily in a bad way.
Justin: [laughs] Yeah, I'm Justin.
Ethan: Ethan.
[Justin holds up his program]
Justin: I know.
[Ethan sees Justin's drawings on the program]
Ethan: What's this?
Justin: Oh, it's nothing.
Ethan: Let me see - It's me in five variations.
Justin: It's a habit. You know, I can't stop myself.
Ethan: Well, it's a sign of a true artist. I play when I'm sleep. You go to school here, right?
Justin: Usual, right.
Ethan: Yeah, I thoughed I recognize you.
Justin: Some friends brough me here for my birthday.
[Lindsay and Mel goes by.]
Lindsay: Hello!
[Ethan gives Justin a CD of his own music.]
Ethan: Here. Happy birthday.
Justin: It's your own CD?
Ethan: Yeah, I made it myself.
Justin: Nice photo.
Ethan: Yeah, next time I use one of these. [he's looking at Justin's drawing.]
Man: Ethan!
Ethan: Hi. How you're doin'? Good to see you.
[Once Justin's finally away, Ethan turns to look for him.]
[Ted's condo. Ted and Gay Jesus are doing a little 69 action on some kind of red velvet bed.]
Luke: You're a wonderful lover, Ted. You're so nice, so sincere, so honest. I felt immediately that you're one that I can trust.
Ted: You remember when you ask me what I did and I said, I... I working computers.
Luke: Mmmh, and that you a service provider for a relieve organisation.
Ted: Well, that's not complete accurate. Although I can understand for... intentionally big issue about my job description that... you might assume and I do food and clothing to wore-town of the globe when in fact the service I provide... [long pause] it's a p*rn site. And the relief comes from... Well I'm sure you can figure out the rest. I'll guess we're better get dressed.
Luke: No wait! Is that what you wanna to tell me?
Ted: Well I thoughed after what you've told me about yourself that...
Luke: No, no, I've even been on myself, a couple times.
Ted: You have? And you don't have lied?
Luke: No, no. Look, you're what matters.
[They kiss each other.]
[Brian's loft. Justin's playing Ethan's CD for Brian.]
Justin: He was incredible.
Brian: But don't classics, or we?
Justin: Yeah, and the guy who played the violin - I wish you could been there! He was... incredible.
Brian: Incredible, huh?
Justin: You know, it wouldn't hurt you to expose yourself to some culture.
Brian: I expose myself to a little culture. There was an oboe player in the bath. [Brian grabs Justin from behind and covers his eyes.] Are you up for another birthday treat?
Justin: No way! No f*cking way! I knew it! All that bullshit about not doin' birthdays. You're just going to surprise me. What is it?
[He leads Justin to the bedroom. Brian uncovers his eyes and Justin is crestfallen: the present is a naked man with a bow around his dick.]
Man: Happy Birthday.
Brian: Happy Birthday. You like your present?
[Justin walks over and pulls the red ribbon off the trick's rather tiny dick. He pulls Justin in by the ribbon.]
[Emmett answers the door to a gong noise. He is in full Geisha makeup, bowing and quietly.]
Emmett: Welcome, kind gentlemen. Please enter. I am your hostess for the evening. [Then he giggles into his fingers.]
Ted: Emmett, is this you?
Emmett: Yeah, honey. What do you think?
Ted: You put the gay back in Geisha.
Michael: C'mon, hurry up! Get in. He can be here in any minute.
Ted: Michael, M.Butterfly, this is Luke.
Emmett: Hi, Luke. Right, we're saw us in the church.
Michael: It's nice to meet you.
Ted: Jesus, it looks like a dream I had after some bad noodles Japanese.
Emmett: OK, maybe I get a little be carry away. C'mon in, have some sucking corn duddles.
[Mel and Linds are coming up.]
Ted: Oh, Mel, Linds this is Luke.
Mel: Oh, so you're the famous Luke that Ted's been raving about.
Lindsay: Ted thinks you're pretty truth.
Mel: We think Ted's pretty terrfic, to.
Ted: Tell him more, tell him more! I can get some suckie.
[Michael opens the door. Uncle Vic shows up with Debbie.]
Michael: Uncle Vic!
Vic: I am in time, just like you said. I hope you don't mind. I broughed a long friend.
Michael: Ma, you came!
Debbie: Yeah, well my friend Rosie called and cancelled the last minute and I didn't has else to do.
Michael: I'm glad you're here and I'm sure Ben will be to.
Debbie: He's good to you, At least what I could do is some wish for a happy birthday and many more.
[Cut back to Mel and Lindsay.]
Mel: It's true - Ted's just been talking about you.
Lindsay: I don't think I've heard anyone use as times in one sentence, the nicest, the cutest.
Mel: He thinks you were a very special.
Lindsay: You gotta be considering what he does.
Mel: The dick channel. All dick all the time.
Emmett: Well, this is about the most interesting discussion in the room.
Lindsay: We're just saying how great it is that Luke is so convened about Ted's p*rn site. Not everyone would be.
Luke: Why someone's passion about what he does.
Emmett: He's passionate, all right. Eats, sleeps, drinks 24/7. p*rn, p*rn, p*rn.
Ted: Sucky?
Luke: No thanks. I don't drink.
Ted: See? The kindest, the sweetest, the cutest...
Mel: What I tell you?
Ted: I think it's me who's the luckiest guy in the world.
[Michael at the front door.]
Michael: There is somebody's coming up the stairs. It's him! Everybody hide!
[Everybody hides in the dark. One guy prances across the door just as the noise settles. The door opens. Everyone shouts "Surprise!" as Emmett hits a gong. It's Brian and Justin.]
Michael: It's 7:20! You show up fashionate late for a surprise party!
Brian: Well, we were busy having our own little celebration.
Mel: You have a celebration?
Lindsay: Brian keep you after all.
Justin: Yeah, he call me a hustler.
Mel: What?!
Lindsay: Are you serious?
Michael: [coming from the front door] He's coming! This time it's really him. Everybody hide!
[Everyone hushes and the same guy prances across the room just as the room quiets down. Ben opens the door. Everyone shouts "Surprise!" Michael runs up and kisses Ben.]
Michael: We really surprised him! We really surprised you! Happy birthday.
Ben: What the f*ck it's goin' on?
Michael: What do you mean? It's your birthday and I called all your friends.
Ben: How do you know all my friends?
Michael: Well, I borrow this. [He returns the stolen Palm Pilot.]
Ben: OK, you've got this all the time?
Michael: I'm only called Brett.
Ben: You had no right, Michael.
Michael: Well, I'm sorry. It's... [whispers] What the hell it the matter with you?
Ben: I told you I didn't want a party. I don't wanna celebrate my g*dd*mn birthday!
Brian: Finally the man with the right attitude.
Michael: [whispers] But Ben all you friends...
Ben: How do you know my friends?
[Ben looks right at Paul.]
Ben: I want my friends out of me, now! Do you understand?
[He storms off to his bedroom. Michael's friends quietly start to trail off.]
Debbie: And this is the guy who's good for my son.
[Michael and Brian are going through the dark city park.]
Michael: After all I went and doin' something special and suprprise him to make him happy, how can he humiliate me in front of everyone like that?!
Brian: Hey, could you slow down?
Michael: And here I am thinking he is so wise and so together, you know, that he's so higher spiritual plain to us poor damn muruals but what he has me for? Cause I'm f*cking stupid!
Brian: Hey, are you finished?
Michael: Why? You are in hurry to pick someone up?
Brian: No, I'm just tired of your playing your variations of poor, little Michael.
Michael: Oh, I'm so sorry I bore you!
Brian: Well then try a little psalm.
Michael: What did I do? Because I throw him a g*dd*mn party?
Brian: Never mind. Forget it. Go to Woody's, get drunk, throw up, passed out. You feel much better on it...
Michael: No! Tell me!
Brian: You want too much. You expect too much and then when your hero disappoints you, your heart gets crushed.
Michael: So, what's the alternative? To expect nothing, to want nothing, like you?
[Ted's p*rn website's office.]
Ted: [in the headset] Oh, Jack and Jill around from Dusseldorf is in our line. He want see some double head dildo acting. Danke. [Then he see Luke] Hey, what a surprise! [he kisses him] Better than nice.
Luke: Did I come the bad time?
Ted: Around here? No such thing. Hey, let me give you the VIP tour. So, this is my little kingdom. Over here you see the boys doin' there little thing with their big things. Oh, easy guys. You got 15 more to go. Pace yourself. [to Luke] God, you're just the cutest. Well, if my members get one look of you. Don't worry, nobody gets you but me. What?
Luke: I, uh, I came to tell you I think we're moving too fast.
Ted: Too fast?
Luke: In fact, I don't think we should see each other for a while.
Ted: You're kiddin', right? Why?
[He says nothing. We can hear the moaning of the guys]
Ted: It's because of this, isn't it?
Luke: I thoughed it wouldn't mean anything. I tried not to let it. I even told myself, it's just a job like any other job. You're providing a service.
Ted: That's all it is!
Luke: That's not all it is!
[He starts to leave.]
Ted: No, Luke, please...
Luke: Don't make this more difficult.
Ted: I will it to do whatever it takes, anything. You name it. I'll give it up.
Luke: No, you should give up doin' what you love. Besides, it's not your problem. It's mine.
Ted: Right, then we make it together.
Luke: I'm sorry, Ted. [he kiss him on his cheek. Ted cries in his giant, poorly lit p*rn.]
Ted: Easy, guys. Pace yourselves. Pace yourselves.
[Brian's helping Lindsay and Melanie load their car at a Home Depot. It's raining.]
Brian: [to Linds] So, how does it feel to be Leda's gophers?
Mel: She's doin' us a favor.
Lindsay: We had to volunteer.
Brian: Well, next time do us a favor and me - hire a professional.
Mel: Yeah, you know about that.
Lindsay: Shit, I left my credit card.
Mel: You sure?
[Lindsay runs inside to get her credit card. Mel and Brian continue loading the trunk.]
Mel: So, I hear you finally broke down and got Justin something for his birthday. A hustler!
Brian: Yeah. He really got off on it.
Mel: Just what he needs - to get laid.
Brian: I didn't hear him complaining.
Mel: Of course not. He wouldn't dare.
Brian: Then why are you?
Mel: Because, I'm not in love with you.
Brian: Finally, someone who isn't.
Mel: Might if you given him something more thoughtful?
Brian: Would you save the Jewish mother guilt stuff for my son?
Mel: Oh, f*ck off, Brian. I just trying to let you know what he wants.
Brian: And what does he want, mama?
Mel: Something romantic.
Brian: Jesus Christ, what do you think we are? A couple of d*ke?
Mel: You should be so lucky.
Brian: Maybe I've should send him a dozen roses.
Mel: Why not?
Brian: Because he's not my wife. We're not married. We're not straight.
Mel: Couldn't you've been here your holier-than-thou, I'm gay and if you don't like it you can suck my dick principles just ones? Let him know you care.
Brian: I thoughed he did.
[Lindsay comes back.]
Lindsay: Got it!
[Lindsay runs back with her credit card, just in time. We have to watch Melanie push the cart across the parking lot. Then they all walk back to the car to drive off.]
[Art school. One person in the entire school plays the violin, and that's Ethan. He play as loudly as he'd like in a rehearsal room while the other three students in the school lean against walls. Justin follows the sound of Ethan and walks into the rehearsal room. He watches Ethan play. Ethan stops playing when he sees Justin.]
Ethan: I thoughed you were the maintenance guy. There's no heat.
Justin: Sorry.
Ethan: It's okay. Maybe things'll warm up now that you're here.
Justin: [laughs] I was, uh, I just cut the music building and I've heard someone playin'. I thoughed it might be you. Sorry, if I had to pop in.
Ethan: Well, now you found me. You want some tea?
Justin: No.
Ethan: You have no idea how diffucult it is to play Paganinis' open 17 in D-Major when ice forming on your bow.
Justin: I wanna say thank you for the CD.
Ethan: You listen to it?
Justin: Six times. You're incredible.
Ethan: I know. How was your birthday? Did you have a big party?
Justin: Uh, not really. My boyfriend doesn't think being born is a reason to celebrate.
Ethan: Oh, that sucks.
Justin: I doesn't really want it, anyway.
Ethan: No, I mean that you have a boyfriend.
Justin: Oh.
Ethan: Cause if I were your boyfriend, I give you a birthday you've never forget.
Justin: Like what?
Ethan: Like, first...I'd bring you breakfast in bed. And then I'd play for you. One of Nibelles noble essentimels, because that's how I picture you. Noble and innocently. And then we'd make love a couple hundred times.
Justin: All that before lunch?
Ethan: Yes. But I'm not your boyfriend.
Justin: I had go back to class.
[The metronome kicks in Ethan begins playing his violin.]
[There's a knock at Michael's set door. Ben's at the door. Michael just walks away, and Ben has to let himself in. He shuts the door.]
Ben: I've missed you the past few nights.
Michael: Yeah, I thoughed it might be best if we're slept alone. In fact I think I ever sleep alone from now on.
Ben: Michael, please, I know I got a little upset at the party...
Michael: A little upset? You were a f*cking monster! You humiliating me, you humiliating yourself...
Ben: I know that too.
Michael: And after all that trouble I went through at you.
Ben: I know, I know.
Michael: Well, I won't be doin' that again! I mean, not that it matters because I don't think we're spending more birthdays...
Ben: My T-cells went down.
Michael: What?
Ben: From my viral load is back up.
Michael: How up?
Ben: 125,000. I know it before I came home by the doctors getting the results. The cocktail's not working, the virus has become resistant.
Michael: Well, keep they change the drugs?
Ben: They already have.
[Ben lights a cigarette.]
Michael: Since when do you smoke?
Ben: Since I'm nervous, Michael. You self look at me like that? Please, I am not perfect, you know?
Michael: Yeah, I'm beginning to find that out.
Ben: God knows I have tried, these religion, meditation, Yoga. You name it, I've been practise that open your achieve to stay in harmony. And then that happens and that's the only goal I have achieved that convince myself all that was bullshit.
Michael: It's not bullshit.
Ben: I've heard you, Michael. I heard the one person who means more than me than anyone else in the world and there is no excuse for it. You know, there is no excuse at all.
Michael: Sure there is. You're human.
[Michael wipes Ben's face, and we fade to white.]
[Justin's looking at his quickly abandoned sketches. He finds Ethan's CD at the bottom of the stack. Justin sits as the spinny-cam does its magic. He places the CD in the player and listens as he sits in the spinny-stool. Justin spins around the room, dancing to Ethan's music. Just quietly listening and spinning. Cut to Brian. He thinks about buying some roses.]
Vendor: Those are nice. Can I wrap them for you?
Brian: No, thanks.
[Brian walks into the wet streets.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "02x16 - You Say it's Your Birthday! I Couldn't Care Less!"} | foreverdreaming |
[Brian is f*cking Justin on the dining room table. But the minute Brian sh**t his load, "Justin" turns back into an ordinary trick and the magic is over.]
Trick: That was... one of my Top 10 f*ck.
Brian: Yeah and one of my Top 10... thousand.
Trick: You sh**t buckets. You one face the shower?
Brian: Go home proudly. I'm busy.
Trick: You just kicking me out?
Brian: You got it.
Trick: Why the best f*ck are always the biggest jerks?
[Ted and Emmett wake up in their little love nest.]
Ted: [softly] Raise and shine, lovely.
Emmett: Lover, I love it would. Hmmm, what smells so yummy?
Ted: I made you some of my special roast. I hope you like it.
Emmett: I like my coffee like I love my man. Strong, full-body and piping hot.
Ted: Stop.
Emmett: It's true. You're magnificent.
Ted: I was?
Emmett: Hmmm, so genlte, so observetive.
Ted: Well, even if you are my best friend there is something only a lover can tell.
Emmett: Lover! I love that word!
Ted: And you are...sensational.
Emmett: Oh, I'm not! Really?
Ted: A miracle you can perform with your tongue, tonting me, teasing me, driving me mad. And your ass.
Emmett: Huh?
Ted: Your ass is as soft as my new egyptian cotton 2000 sheets. Be careful, don't spill. And they said it would never work.
Emmett: Fools, what did they know?
Ted: More cream, sweetheart?
Emmett: Hmmm, thanks lover.
Ted: Lover. How I love that word!
[At the diner, Brian fights off the nausea. Ted and Emmett the lovebirds, cooing to each other.]
Ted: Have another bite, lemon chop.
Emmett: I keep that, Teddy bear.
Brian: I'm gonna head my eyebrowns. I don't care what unspeakable act of perversion you two freaks are committed in privaty but you don't have to face it to decent citizens?
Emmett: You're just jealous because we have what you don't.
Brian: a**l warts?
Ted: A loving, mature relationship! Open up for the choo-choo, Boo. Boo!
Debbie: [to Michael] Here you go, honey. How has that shining come up with?
Michael: Awww.
Debbie: What? It still smarts? [to Brian] Animal!
Michael: Leaving him alone, Ma. I ask for it.
Debbie: No-one ask to be punshed in the eye! Since when you gay guys used your fists?
Emmett: Well, I explain that to you another time.
Guy: Hey ya, you wrote Rage, right?
Michael: Right. [Justin comes up] I mean, yeah with a partner.
Guy: I just want you to know how much it means to me. You know, having a gay superhero. I never had one when I was growing up.
Michael: Yeah, me too.
Guy: Hey, it's so... when the next issue coming up?
Brian: Yeah Micky, when is the next issue coming up?
Michael: I'm not sure.
Guy: Well, I can't wait.
[The guy leaves and Michael goes over to talk to Justin.]
Michael: Still here I see.
Justin: I try to quit, but your mother wouldn't let me.
Michael: Yeah, we all know how her power can be.
Justin: Besides, I need the money.
Michael: I guess Brian caming up for something. Well, if you need money, the comic book is a big h*t. I sold out the first issue already and people are asking...
Justin: What do you sayin' we should work together?
Michael: We don't have to like each other, but we did make a commitment.
Justin: You betrayed me.
Michael: You betrayed yourself and Brian.
Justin: Look, I don't want anything to do with Rage. Or you.
[Mel and Lindz are at the park with a friend, Dusty, and their kids. Mel's on the cell phone and Lindsay plays with Gus.]
Mel: [to the cell-phone] Yeah, we're not appealing - it's settled. Yeah, we need a repayment schedule, the notes are on my hard drive. [she hangs up. She's taking out a cookie.] Hey, looking what mommy got for you!
Lindsay: Not before lunch!
Dusty: Hey Mel! I haven't see you at the park lately.
Mel: The only reason I go here when the judge called.
Lindsay: I thoughed you'd be in court all day.
Mel: They finally set the case.
Lindsay: Oh my god, it took 2 years!
Dusty: Congratulations, you two guys.
Mel: You too Dusty, on your second?
Dusty: Two years ago you're right but now I'm waiting for my third. Hey what about you? You are up to another?
Lindsay: Oh, you're kidding? I have hands full of one!
[Justin and Daphne are having coffee while Ethan fiddles for change. Justin's right hand hurts while he was draw his lover.]
Daphne: Are you ok?
Justin: Yeah, my hands gets tired sometimes. You know how much he averages a day? 40 bucks!
Daphne: I had no idea being a beggar could be so lucrative.
Justin: He's not a beggar. He's a street performer.
Daphne: (sarcastically) How romantic!
Justin: You have no idea. Last night we made love on the roof, underneath the stars. I never did anything like that with Brian.
Daphne: I don't know, I recall you having some pretty hot nights. Remember how he'd f*ck you so hard, you could still feel him inside you the next morning? Your words, darling, not mine!
Ethan: [comes to the table] If I have to play La Campanella one more time I'm gonna scream.
Justin: My poor little genius! What are you taking term?
Daphne: Biocam. What about you?
Justin: I'm not.
Ethan: What?
Justin: I'm dropping out.
Daphne: No way!
Justin: I have no money.
Ethan: Well, who's been paying for it?
[Meanwhile, back at the loft, Brian is amusing himself with online sex and phone sex.]
Brian: [to the cell phone] I'm sitting on your face while you suck my balls.
Guy: "Oh yeah, f*ck me so hard!"
Brian: Why you take another poppers, stick a couple fingers up in your hole and jerk off? I'm wasting my time. What kind of pathetic troll are you!?
[He hangs up.]
[In the bathroom with Melanie and Lindsay.]
Mel: You didn't mean what you've said in the park, didn't you?
Lindsay: No cookies before lunch?
Mel: About no babies after Gus.
Lindsay: Well at least unless he is in pre-school and let's hope we can return to civillian life. Teach, get back to my art. Sarah even said she has enough paintings and giving me a show. How I'm supposed to do that when we have another kid?
Mel: I understand, it's not impossible to pop out a baby whenever we want. It requires timing, planning.
Lindsay: What time? What plan?
[They take a bath together as wll as a joint.]
Mel: You'd loved being pregnant.
Lindsay: I did?
Mel: Oh god, was you ever sexy.
Lindsay: I was?
Mel: Yeah, your big, hard belly and you're horny all the time.
Lindsay: Oh, I can't remember at that time hardly.
Mel: OK, how about this? When we brought Gus over from the hospital you've said... I wanna house filled with children. Children who'd there loved. Who are an expression of our love.
[They kiss each other.]
Lindsay: You are a very good conselor.
[They makes out in the bath.]
[Ben is cooking dinner for two.]
Emmett: Hmm, what's smells so yum and delicious?
Michael: Ben's doin' up some meal.
Ben: You wanna some? We're have plenty.
Emmett: Oh thank you, but I'm on my way to Mr.Right.
Michael: I thoughed you hardly met him.
Emmett: Oh this is Teddy's and my plan - we find each other in Babylon and they we meet and then we go to his place and f*ck like bunnies.
Ben: Oh, that's cute.
Emmett: So you guys hook up later?
Ben: Nothing but an desaster can drag us out.
Emmett: OK then, don't burn the place down.
Ben: Come and get.
Michael: These are the words I've been drooling to hear.
[Somebody knocks at the door.]
Ben: Emmett forget his key?
Michael: Emmett never forgets his key.
Ben: You don't supposed that can be...?
Michael: If you don't answer he go away.
Brian: [from outside] You've said I was welcome anytime.
Ben: f*ck! [he opens the door.]
Brian: At least give me dinner and snooze me up first. So, what are we having?
Ben: Meat crowd.
Brian: Never heard beside Meatloaf.
Ben: We have only enough for two.
Brian: Oh, which one of you wanna join me?
Michael: Brian, Ben and I would like to spend an evening at home - alone.
Brian: But it's nine inch night at Babylon. Any guy with more than nine inches or more gets in for free - so I figured I'd buy you tickets!
Ben: We prefered this one out.
[Michael, Ben and Brian end up at Babylon. Ben doesn't seem to be enjoying himself too much, but for Brian and Michael, it's just like old times.]
Emmett: Don't you and Michael were spending a quiet evening alone together?
Ben: Best unlaid plans.
Emmett: I must be tinkle.
Ted: Don't be late, lover.
[They kiss each other. In Babylon's bathroom, Emmett runs into an old friend.]
Dijon: Hey stranger, come here often?
Emmett: Only when my boy...Oh my god, it's...
Dijon: Dijon. Remember?
Emmett: Right, I knew you.
Dijon: I have think about you, baby.
Emmett: Yeah, that's... that's sweet.
Dijon: More like hot, specy. Come back from my flight.
Emmett: Oh you are the flight attendant!
Dijon: Right, I had a three day layover. Plenty of time to get laid over and over. You still offer for that date?
Emmett: Date?
Dijon: We meet in the gym a few weeks ago. This will jogg your memory.
[He takes Emmett's hand a let them feel his crotch.]
Emmett: Oh yeah, it's... it's coming back. Um, as much as I would... love to the world as we know it changed.
Dijon: Posted went up?
Emmett: I have a boyfriend.
Dijon: Well, I won't tell your boyfriend if you won't tell mine. Here is the address. Tomorrow? Say about seven?
[He gives Emmett his card and leaves. Emmett go back to piss.]
Ted: Hello stranger, come here often?
Emmett: Oh, Teddy! It's you.
Ted: Who do you think it was? You met someone else? [he giggles]
Emmett: Meet someone else? So funny.
[Back at the dance floor. Ben kinda bored as Michael and Brian comes to the bar.]
Ben: Well, it's time. Ready to go?
Brian: The night is young.
Michael: You wanna dance?
Ben: Michael I've told you - I have class first in the morning.
Brian: That's perfect - so you can leave straight to the air.
Michael: I got to go.
Brian: Sure Mikey, I'll see you tomorrow.
[Jennifer meets Ethan in a coffee.]
Jennifer: Justin tells me that you're a genius!
Ethan: No, I like to think I have my talent from my grandfather.
Justin: He was on the concentration camp.
Jennifer: Oh,... I'm sorry.
Ethan: Luckily he survived and taught me how to play.
Jennifer: Thank god.
Ethan: I habe also fortune my parents who paid for all those lessons, even they had not much money.
Jennifer: Well how nice to hear that someone praising their parents for a change.
Justin: I say nice things about you all the time.
Ethan: Well, I got to go. I got to practise.
Justin: Ethan is the finalist for the competition.
Jennifer: That's wonderful. I hope you'll win it.
Ethan: Me too. Nice to meet you Mrs.Taylor.
Jennifer: My pleasure.
Ethan: Thanks again for lunch and you [he kisses him at the mouth] see you later.
[he leave Jen and Justin alone.]
Jennifer: Well! He seems like an accomplished young man.
Justin: Tell me about cute.
Jennifer: Very cute. Certainly more appropriate for you than Brian! Not that I have anything against Brian. If it hadn't been for him, I don't know what either of us would have done -
Justin: Would you mind if we don't talk about him? I'm with Ethan now. Let me get the tip.
Jennifer: Put your money away.
Justin: It's not that I'm didn't eat it.
Jennifer: Maybe we can help you with this part of it.
Justin: You have to care of yourself and Molly. Don't worry about me.
Jennifer: Your father misses you as much as you.
Justin: Like I give a shit.
Jennifer: Justin, maybe now after Brian...
Justin: I'm not ask dad for a f*cking help...
Jennifer: It was very generious from your sister. Maybe when you explain the situation he might comes through after all. He's still your father.
[Emmett in his workplace - a fashion shop.]
Emmett: [on the phone] "I know I was standing here with my razor blade and my life ball up my ass but I need to talk to someone now!" [explain to Brian] I've been waiting for the g*dd*mn gay helpline my call for 15 minutes!
Brian: You should tell them you have a really bad ten shop. I'm sure this would be right through. So, what's the problem?
Emmett: The problem is... I have this friend...
Brian: This would be you.
Emmett: ...who is in love with his best friend...
Brian: That would be Theodore.
Emmett: But before they realised that they're in love my friend meet his previous commitment...
Brian: [smiles] A f*ck date.
Emmett: ...with this really, really hot flight attendant.
Brian: Dijon, the black mustard? He is a first class f*ck. As your friend you got a free bonus miles.
Emmett: There is a problem - guilt.
Brian: Tell him you're protected under the grandfather clause!
Emmett: What's that?
Brian: That means that any agreement state before the commiment must be honored.
Emmett: You mean my friend could actually blow this really hot flight attendand and still be in his rights?
Brian: As long as each of them still the mouth shuts, afterwards.
[Lindsay and their friend Dusty walking down the street with their stollers.]
Lindsay: How about the time?
Dusty: Nah, I've already got it. What's so funny?
Lindsay: Do you remember when I teaching that class? Sometimes I feel like I'm missin' all the excitement. Melanie is out there, make them a world of better place. What am I doin'?
Dusty: Raising beautiful children to live in it.
Lindsay: Correction, one child.
Dusty: Well, it's not what I hear.
Lindsay: What?
Dusty: We're two are in the trash machine and still in the news.
Lindsay: What big news?
Dusty: You names picked out - Shame when it's a boy, Sabrina if it's a girl.
Lindsay: Melanie told you having another kid?
Dusty: Yeah, she was all excited. Said she couldn't wait.
[Brian turns up like a bad penny at the comic store.]
Brian: You know, I was puking my guts out last night.
Michael: Must be the modern drugs you consumed.
Brian: Or maybe that weird asian shit Ben cooked. So, what time's dinner?
Michael: It's not. We're on my mom's.
Brian: Or that should be fun. As much fun as the underwear party.
Michael: What underwear party?
Brian: The one I'm attending it this evening.
Michael: I don't know how you're doin' it. Working all day, f*cking all night...
Brian: They say the fast into the space the fast you move slow your age. I'll have to say the same whole true to Pittsburgh. You want to join me?
Michael: You'll have to stay young without me.
Brian: I understand. You're on a committed realtionship with your... what is this hideous expression?... significant other? Looser.
[Later at the evening. Michael closes his door. Suddenly a men hold his hand over Michael's mouth and swispers.]
?: Do what I'm say and I won't k*ll ya.
Michael: OK, ok, ok, just take it easy.
[Brian takes out his lighter and smoke a cigarette.]
Michael: f*ck Brian!
Brian: Caught ya!
Michael: You scared this shit out of me! Why you still here?
Brian: I though I drop into the moments.
Michael: You are so pathetic! You know that!?
Brian: Actually you are!
[Later, Michael and Brian in his car. It's raining outside.]
Michael: So what times the party starting?
Brian: When I get there, of course.
Michael: Hey, you missed my Mom's turn.
Brian: Oh, what should I say, but we won't.
Michael: I told you I can't go out. Turn back.
Brian: It's too late.
Michael: This isn't funny! Let me out.
Brian: Sorry! [he smiles]
Michael: I'm calling Ben.
[Brian takes Michael's cell phone and hangs up.]
Michael: What the f*ck are you doin'? Give me...!
Brian: Sit back and relax. Oh, here your party outfit. [He throws him a jock in his face.]
[Emmett at Dijon's.]
Emmett: Uh, I can't stay. The only reason I'm here is because my looler. She always told me, if you had the bad news it's best to do it in person. It's just playin' good manners. So, bye.
Dijon: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's so hurry, baby? C'mon in.
Emmett: I'm gonna afraid it's goin to be impossible to keep this little trist? I'm in a relationship with this really wonderful men. And besides the ...
[Dijon leads Emmett to the seat and start attend him.]
Dijon: One some drink?
Emmett: Uh, Bloody Marry. I have chosen not to. Instead I choose to honored my commitment.
Dijon: Peenuts?
Emmett: Yes please. So I hope you understand that even if I would really, really like to stay for the in flight entertainment... What's that?
Dijon: The airline awared me for servicing 10,000 passengers.
Emmett: "To Dijon who'll go to any length to make sure satisfaction is guaranteed."
[He opens his trousers.]
Emmett: I see what they mean "by any length."
Dijon: And I'll see you audiende the upgrade load position.
[At Debbie's home. Debbie is at the phone.]
Debbie: "Where the hell are you, little assh*le!? I'll call and leaving messages for you for over an hour! And no one f*cking bu from you! You'd better be on your way, so all I got to say my g*dd*mn dinner is gonna be to shit! Lover, mother!" [she hangs up]
Vic: This breat's not bad for a door stop.
Debbie: Shut up! So it's a dried out mess, that's what I'm say. Use the sauce. Well, will we go ahead with our dinner? With or without my son.
Vic: You know it isn't like Michael not to show up, or even called.
Debbie: We know exactly like ... you know who.
Ben: Who? Brian?
Debbie: You win the wheel.
Ben: What makes you think he's with Brian?
Vic: You've said he was with you every night this week.
Debbie: And last.
Ben: Yeah, Brian needs his best friend right now. He would never admit that, he said that he does give a shit. Excuse me.
Vic: Cover your hear, sis.
Ben: But he has hurting inside and the more he's hurting, the more he tries to hide it.
Debbie: What any incredible, kind, compassioned thing to say. You're really a hell of a nice guy.
Ben: Thank you, Debbie.
Debbie: f*ck nice! Unless he's not on his senses that the boyfriend he have Brian can keep him off to god knows where and he should be here with you!
Ben: It's not up to me. I can't control him.
Vic: Why not? She's be doin' this for thirty years.
Debbie: Let's hope Michael wakes up and realizes he's just a substitute for Justin!
Vic: Only trouble is, the substitute is usually the last to know.
Debbie: Sauce?
[At Linds and Mel's house. Mel working at the PC. Lindsay comes in, pissed.]
Lindsay: Your son was a little krust tonight.
Mel: I love when he's kranky he's my son. You go kranky yourself.
Lindsay: Do I? I went to the supermarket this day.
Mel: Mmmmh?
Lindsay: I was running into Dusty who told me the most astonishing news.
Mel: Really? What?
Lindsay: You and I having another baby. Gee, why didn't you tell me?
Mel: Well, we'll talked about it last night and I though we decided...
Lindsay: We didn't decided anything. I said, I've think about it. And since I'll be carrying it, do you think I should have at least some say to me?
Mel: Of course you should, honey...
Lindsay: Stop to turn me down. You're not my g*dd*mn parents.
Mel: I'm not start to playing Kate and I'm definately not your parents.
Lindsay: Oh, compared to us they got the alternative lifestyle - a happied married straight couple of 1962.
Mel: All I've said is that I would like to have another child.
Lindsay: You because your the breath winner, that give you the right to tell me to pop out another love? If you wanna have another baby so badly, you have to yourself.
Mel: I can't believe you've said that. That's not fair! You know I can't have children and you g*dd*mn know what the doctors said.
Lindsay: That was years ago, you and I both know there are new procedures. They could zap you with a laser and you'd be as fertile as Mother Earth! But if you let me to have the experience to have children because you wanna play dad, passing out he was! Sorry Mel, no cigare!
[Justin at his father's house. Craig pours himself Wodka.]
Craig: You want a soda?
Justin: I'll take the same as you.
Craig: I'll never see you have a drink.
Justin: It's because I still waited until your out of the house. Or asleep.
Craig: Molly tells me your better.
Justin: I'm doin' alright.
Woman: Honey?
Craig: I'll be right back.
[Craig's girlfriend kisses him and leaves to house.]
Justin: She is pretty.
Craig: Yeah, her name is Lory. We've be seeing each other for an year now.
Justin: I brought some of my latest work. I thoughed you might see some.
Craig: Sure.I'm not more of an art critic. It's very good.
Justin: The new terms coming out. I need some financial assistence. I was hoping you maybe help me out.
Craig: Justin, I told you, when you applying to colleges...
Justin: I know what you've told me. But now that I'm completed my first year with honors, spite out of hand, I though you changed your mind. I can't get a scholorship because you have much money. And I can't go to school and to work fulltime.
Craig: What about Brian?
Justin: We're not together anymore.
Craig: Finally, some good news! I'm glad to see you come to your senses. Now if you wanna talk to go to Dartmouth...
Justin: Dad, I'm never gonna be a businessman and I'm never gonna be straight.
Craig: You know, when you were a kid one thing that meant the most to you, even more than other make you happy, is making me proud. Whatever you aim, it was always me you coming run to. And no father couldn't be prouder of a son that was you.
Justin: Now your ashamed?
Craig: No...
Justin: That I'm not the man you wanna me to be? Well, I'm the man I want to be, I'm the only man I can be. If you can't be proud of me for that, then that's your problem.
[He walks out.]
[Brian and Michael at the underwear party.]
Michael: Give me the keys of the f*cking car! And I'm gonna leave you here!
Brian: That's fine with me!
Michael: Give me my phone!
[Brian gives to phone to Michael.]
Michael: Thank you. The batteries almost d*ad!
Brian: I know, I was feeding almost its energy.
Michael: [tries to call] Ben? Ben, can you hear me? I'll be a little late, explain later. Hello? [he hangs up] Shit, I lost him.
Brian: Well as long as you here you mind to take off your clothes? And join the party.
Michael: I don't want to!
Brian: You know, this remains me of the first time you blindful I'm tooking you to the Liberty Bath. You were so hot walking down the halls...and your still hot.
Michael: I said no!
Brian: You rather watch? That can be arranged.
[Brian grabs Michael and leading him around the corner and shows him hot guys in white underwears making out.]
Brian: You see that fine upstanding man? First I'm gonna wear out my cock, then I need you around at the back to start fingering... [he kisses Michael's neck. Brian goes over to the hot guy and look straight in Michaels eyes. Brian makes out.]
[Next day. At the empty Liberty diner. Mel is the only guest who's doin paperworks. Debbie drinks some coffee.]
Mel: I need to do some work done in peace.
Debbie: And I need a break winners.
Mel: Do you mind if we don't talk about it? I try to watch my cops.
Debbie: How about some eggs?
Mel: Don't even mention eggs. Eggs are the last things I want to.
Debbie: Any problems with prune? Mel honey, after a healthy breakfast the best way to start the day is by telling me what's the f*ck is goin' on?
Mel: Lindsay says if I want another baby I should care it myself.
Debbie: Sounds fair to me.
Mel: Even if I could... I never pictured out myself the birth and baby stay. All the fuss and the muss...
Debbie: Well it's definitely not for control-freaks or the faint off heart.
Mel: That's lets me out. See, my life works best when it's goin' to plan - my plan and for paying... it's not for me.
Debbie: So you rather leave the dirty work to her?
Mel: That's not that.
Debbie: Well, what is it then?
Mel: Is that she's... braver and stronger and a better woman. And that I'll never be.
Debbie: That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. I'm not telling you it isn't scary, because it's f*cking terrifying. And I'm not tell you that isn't painful, oh it's seems I forgotten. But I am telling you, having a kid is the number one, top rated experience in my life. And I hate to see you think you're not woman enough... pff. How about I get you some eggs and makes a nice, fresh bunn? OK.
[The morning after the underwear party, Michael has a hangover and a pissed-off boyfriend.]
Ben: I don't expect your up so early.
Michael: It was 1:30.
Ben: Tried to 4:50.
Michael: He kidnapped me.
Ben: He kidnapped you?
Michael: Yeah, and then he took my cell phone and he shufted down his pants.
Ben: This is certainly out of your calling area.
Michael: I'm really sorry.
Ben: I was the one who told you to hanging out with him. But I does think when you ask me to move in with you, you actually here from time to time.
Michael: I wanted to be.
Ben: This isn't one such a good idea.
Michael: What?
Ben: That we live together.
Michael: Of course it is!
Ben: We didn't plan on it, Michael, it's just happened out of circumstance.
Michael: So?
Ben: So maybe we're not ready. Maybe there are some things in our lives we need to work out first. Maybe I should find my own apartment.
[With that he leaves.]
[Ted and Emmett are at the gym.]
Ted: Don't use all your energy, honey. Safe some for our work-out.
[Suddenly Dijon comes up. Emmett freezes.]
Emmett: Oh! Ah!
Ted: What's wrong, sweety?
Emmett: I thing I pulled my muscle.
Ted: Poor baby.
Emmett: It's ok. I think I put some heat on it. I go to the steam room.
Dijon: Hey, sweet Em.
Emmett: Oh, hey. Teddy, this is Dijon, like the mustard. This is Ted, my boyfriend, the one who's I'm in the realtionship with.
Dijon: Right. I'm on the flight tonight to Miami.
Emmett: Oh my god, I mean this is good for you. Here out of here, cold...
Dijon: And... [he goes closer to Emmett] I'll give you a call.
[Dijon goes away.]
Ted: Why he should give you a call?
Emmett: He is a flight attendend. I'm sure he's might be able to get us an upgrade.
Ted: But we're not goin' anywhere. Why he was touching you like that?
Emmett: Um, he's got an award for service. He is very attentive.
Ted: I've noticed. He did it with you, didn't you? [no answer.] Well, at least I know what muscle you have pulled.
[Justin - with Ethan goes to PIFA's office.]
Woman: I'm afraid I don't see what the problem is.
Ethan: The problem is, that unless Mr.Taylor is allowed to continued his studies, the world is gonna be depride to his staggering gift.
Woman: And that will be a shame.
Justin: Is there any way that I can defer tutittion until I figured out how to get the loan?
Woman: You don't need a loan.
Ethan: How else he's supposed to pay?
Woman: It's already been paid. It's in your file.
Ethan: [to Justin] You've said your assh*le father refused.
Justin: He did. I mean, I though he did.
Woman: Well apparently he changes his mind.
Ethan: Whatever you've said to him it worked.
[Ethan kisses Justin.]
Woman: Congratulations, Mr.Taylor. The world can disappaid your gift.
[Brian's loft. Brian watching an old movie. It knocks at the door - he didn't answer it. The door opens.]
Brian: You planning on coming in?
[Justin hesitates, looking around]
Brian: If you're looking for someone, there's no one else here.
Justin: For a change. Is that a new coffeetable?
Brian: Mies van der Rohe.
Justin: Mmm..must have cost a fortune.
Brian: Yup
Justin: I went by the Bursar's office today. I can't accept it.
Brian: What?
Justin: The tuition.
Brian: Oh. That. Why, is someone else covering it?
Justin: No.
Brian: Well then, you can't afford not to.
Justin: But we're not together anymore.
Brian: We signed an agreement. I'll pay for your school, you pay me back with interest.
Justin: You don't have to honor it.
Brian: A deal's a deal.
Justin: I could be poor for a long time.
Brian: Yeah, well, knowing your tastes you'd better not be.
Justin: It's not like I have a shitload of great moneymaking opportunities
Brian: You have one.
[He turns to leave.]
Brian: Aren't you forgetting something?
Justin: Thank you.
Brian: Not that, that - your computer. I packed it for you.
Justin: It's yours
Brian: Bullshit. You need it. Take it.
[Brian doesn't look as Justin takes the computer.]
[At Jerk-at-work. Ted is furies.]
Ted: A grandfather collopse? I don't believe you do such a excuse! And then you leave the house and tell him, you couldn't see him...
Emmett: Dijon.
Ted: Yeah, whatever! Would you go please!?
Emmett: You know one thing I wish more than anything in the world right now? I wish I could talk to my best friend, Teddy. He is so wise and caring. But now he's my boyfriend and well there are some things you can't say to your boyfriend, no matter how much you love him.
Ted: What is it?
Emmett: I'll don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I must be crazy or worser. Get together with this really wonderful guy. And now I go do something to someone that means absolutely nothing to me. I mean, why do I do these things?
Ted: Because you never met a cock you didn't like. It's part of your charm, so don't be so hard on yourself. That would your best friends speaking. But as your boyfriend I have to say, what you did was the flagrant betrayal! And I'm not sure if I could trust you again. Then again, as your best friend, it's understandable to give in temptation - I mean you've been single all these years, it's not easy to settle down and deny. But there is something to noticed as your best friend it's another thing to accept it as your lover.
Emmett: I'm sorry Teddy... for hurting you and... for destroying what you might have had.
[Emmett cries. Ted give him a tissue.]
Ted: Here, it usually don't used for whiping tears.
Emmett: Yeah, I know. I hope you don't hating me.
Ted: I don't hate you. I love you. I know you very well - and I still love you.
Emmett: Are you.. are you sayin' this as my best friend... or my lover?
Ted: Both.
[Emmett starts to cry again. Ted stands up, umbrace Em and give him a kiss on his check.]
Emmett: I'm sorry, honey. So sorry...
Ted: I know, I know.
[Justin comes into the comic store.]
Justin: You're open late.
Michael: Inventory. I suppose you came for this.
Justin: 600 dollars?
Michael: That's what we made on Rage so far minus the costs. I meant to bring it to the diner but...
Justin: OK, I was thinking. What if JT plays the trumpet for his highschool band and Rage teaches him with his mind control powers to play a note so loud and so high that he can blow things up?
Michael: Like his h*m* principal? Not bad.
Justin: It's f*ck' genius - you know it.
Michael: Except I though you didn't wanna worked together anymore.
Justin: A deal's a deal.
[He goes away. His cell phone rings.]
Michael: Where are you?
Brian: "We're you never grow old!"
Michael: What!?
Brian: "Where everything is beautiful!"
Michael: I should have guessed.
Brian: "C'mon Mikey, we can go beautiful together, just you and me."
Michael: I can't tonight. I've said I can't. I'm gotta go home. Home! Yeah, and when I'm be lucky he'll be there.
[Cut to Babylon. Brian dancing at Babylon, all f*cked up - between the other young studs.]
Music:
Let's Get Intimate (Jamie's Carnival Mix) - from Body 2 Body
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "03x02 - House Full of Children"} | foreverdreaming |
[Babylon. A crowded dancefloor. In the middle we see Brian who gets sucked by a trick. Nobody seems to care.]
[Michael with the laundry. A old geezer cruising on him. After the end of the program Michael bend over, thinks of it and turns around that the old man cannot watch his butt. After that in Michaels flat.]
Michael: I lost a sock and a pair of shorts but I will not get down to the kripmaster. Ben?
[Ben siting at the couch and reading.]
Ben: Uh, yeah?
Michael: I've said there was this guy down... [no answer] This incredible hot guy and I was bending over to my laundry after the dryer. And he ripped off my pants and f*cked the shit out of me.
Ben: Uh huh.
[Michael goes to the couch and throws on his lap.]
Ben: Hey, what are you doin'?
Michael: I'm reading the newspaper and... oh, the house market?
Ben: Yeah, I'm looking for an apartment, Michael.
Michael: You already have an apartment. Complete with compliences and floors and a built new boyfriend.
Ben: I think it is the best with my own place.
Michael: Yeah, but I think it is the best that you stay.
[He kisses him.]
Ben: Are you sure you wouldn't be here rather with Brian?
[Michael thinks of it - cut to Brian, who's getting a blowjob in Babylon. And cut back to Michael]
Michael: Well, I have to admit, it is tempting... but then I would miss out on all this pre-succing, spin-dry and not to mention having the hottest man in Pittsburgh they have my fluffing.
[With that Michael drags Ben to lying at the Couch, he took his glasses off.]
[Cut to the loft, the next day. Lindsay and Gus are there.]
Brian: "Happy Carneval"? Are you out of your f*cking mind?
Lindsay: I like to think not.
Brian: After the way they screw me don't you think I help the center to selfdistruct.
Lindsay: Well that's exactly what might happen when we don't boosed our cooperated sponsorship and raise a hundred thousand.
Brian: That's not my problem.
[A naked trick is walking around the loft. Lindsay hems and hold her hand to Gus eyes.]
Lindsay: Anything else here here that I should about?
Brian: Hopefully not before I do.
Lindsay: Look, it may be not your problem - but it is a very big problem for a lot of members of our community and the AIDS hospiz and homless teeny shelter. All I'm asking is for you volunteer a few hours of your time to help organized this fundraiser. Maybe call a few of our clients and see if they're willing to tribute.
Brian: I don't do volenteer work.
Lindsay: Oh thanks a lot Brian. I'll hope I didn't keep for from attending more important things.
[Lindsay looks in the bedroom and see the tricks reading. But Brian looks at the computer to a car website.]
Brian: However, the center had to come more... minimal agree?
[Lindsay presents Brian's proposal to the GLC.]
Philip: There is no way we're working with him.
Tannis: It's out of question.
Lindsay: I understand your reluctance to get involved. However, if he's willing to put himself - I said we should do the same.
Tannis: Just what exactly is Mr.Kinney offering to do?
Lindsay: Organized the event, bringing co-operate sponsorship...
Philip: I said we're doin' fine without him.
Lindsay: If you call selling 40 tickets doin' fine. Brian's put together a proposing to give the carneval a big new event. He also contact a few of his clients. And they agree to sponsor the event and match any funds we raise up to 100.000 dollars.
[Both look at each other and smiles.]
Tannis: Please extend to Mr.Kinney, the center is grated to devore of volunteer his time and efford.
Lindsay: Well, he's not exactly volunteering. He wants 20% of the top.
Philip: He expects us to pay him? For fundraising?
Tannis: Is he kidding?
Lindsay: His feeling is "would he have rather 100% of nothing or 80% of more than you ever f*cking dreamed of"?
[So Brian gets his new car - or his new old car - it's a classic.]
Brian: So, what do you think? Can I buy it?
Michael: $30,000 is a lot of money for an old car.
Brian: It's not old - it's a classic.
Michael: It's a high plan for paying it.
Brian: Unless you cash.
Michael: That's a seizable juck of change for a boyfriend replacement therapy.
Brian: I don't have a boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend.
Michael: Right. Then it must be a midlife crisis.
Brian: I'm only thirty...
Michael: One.
Brian: And since I'm planning of being death by the time of thirty-nine that's my way to do it.
Michael: Yeah, I'll be sure to remind you by the time on your 60.birthday.
Brian: C'mon, Mikey, relief now and be home by midnight.
Michael: No f*cking way! Ben nearly move out because of you.
[Michael gets out of the car. Brian drives away.]
[At the diner. Carl eats sweets and Debbie watches him.]
Carl: Is that look for longing for me or for the cream?
Debbie: Wouldn't you like to know?
Carl: Want the last bite?
Debbie: Hell no. I have actually a waist. Or haven't you noticed?
Carl: Oh, I've noticed.
Debbie: And...?
Carl: And it's looking good. Real good. [he leans forward and kisses her.]
Man: C'mon, Deb!
Debbie: Um, orders up.
Carl: I'll see you friday?
Debbie: Yeah, I'll serve a lane...
Carl: What do you say we skip the bowling this week - maybe have a litte dinner?
Debbie: Friday is a three grams of fish in four pounched of steam keal.
Carl: Hmm, my favourite. Afterwards we could watch tv.
Debbie: Yeah, well the...the... sec downstairs are in the frits. The only one who's working is the one in my bedroom.
Carl: I know.
[Both laughing. Debbie gets the orders and serves to Emmett and Ted.]
Ted: So, Deb, what's it like doin' with a cop?
Emmett: Does he connect to strip search?
Ted: Hank-off over the bed?
Emmett: Or curious things...?
Debbie: Do you know what MYOB stands for? Mind your own f*cking business.
[she goes away.]
Ted: Should there be an F in there?
Emmett: Hmmm.
[Brian comes in. He goes over to Justin, who's cleaning some desk.]
Brian: I have a proposition. [Justin gives him a look.] A business proposition.
Justin: What'd you have in mind?
Brian: A poster. Something hot and brilliant. And something by tomorrow.
(Justin gives him a dubious look)
Brian: I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could do it.
Justin: And if you weren't desperate.
Brian: Yeah, that too.
Justin: What's it for?
Brian: It's for the Center carnival.
Justin: (laughing) You f*cking hate the Center!
Brian: Not when they're paying me. So how much do you want?
Justin: It's for a good cause, so it's free.
Brian: Christ, didn't I teach you anything?
Justin: $500.
Brian: $200.
Justin: $500, take it or leave it.
Brian: I like the way you do business.
[Mel and Lindsay's home.]
Lindsay: [speechless] You had the procedure?
Mel: Like you've said that was no big deal. He did it in the office, zapp me with the laser a couple of ditches...
Lindsay: You should have told me, I'd have come.
Mel: I had something to do with my own... like bungee jumping.
Lindsay: I hope that's not next.
Mel: I mean, face my fear, head on and hope I splat.
Lindsay: And did you land splat?
Mel: Everything is fine. He said I can get pregnant right away.
Lindsay: Oh, Mel.
[Lindsay umbrace her.]
Mel: I guess you're right - I was just using it as an excuse.
Lindsay: It doesn't matter.
Mel: It matters a lot because I want to be the one who carry our next child.
Lindsay: Are you sure?
[Mel nods]
Lindsay: So we could a little Melanie?
Mel: Or Melvin.
Lindsay: By next christmas.
Mel: Now we have to do is the pick up a donate.
Lindsay: I thoughed we already had one.
Mel: There is no f*cking way - Brian Kinney's f*cking sperma come into me.
Lindsay: I speak from experience.
Mel: Well, after all that grief he cost us? We are not make the same mistake twice.
Lindsay: I understand exactly how your feel. But what if something happen to us? A fatal accident...
Mel: Bungee jumping?
Lindsay: I am serious! At least our kids have the same father.
Mel: Oh, some father - a selfish, promiscuous... who know if he is negative?
Lindsay: Whoever it is he have to be tested. But think of Gus - allways there to write a check, put up a swing set, safe our wedding from desaster - honestly Mel, he's not the old Brian, he's changed, bottom line. Without him our kids wouldn't be related.
[The boys are doing sit-ups at the gym.]
Ted: Who's the hottie?
Michael: My boyfriend.
Ted: The other hottie?
Emmett: Uh, looks like Tarzan.
Brian: Sounds like Jane. He use steroids as he can.
Emmett: Steroids?
Brian: Yeah, surprise there is no second assh*le.
Debbie: Not to mention mood swings and his balls shrings.
[The boys - especiall Michael are shocked to see Debbie here.]
Michael: Ma, what are you doin' here?!
Debbie: Same thing you are.
Brian: Cruising for a blowjob?
Debbie: Jesus Ma, you already go to the same bars, the same clubs I do. Now you even come to the same gym!? Can't I have one place in the world that is my own?
Debbie: So you want to be my workout buddies?
[Horrified Michael gets up and leaves. Ted, Emmett and Debbie go on the treadmills together.]
Emmett: Looking good, girl!
Ted: Your privat dick things too.
Debbie: I told you I have no intention to turning the most intimate tales of my personal life in gym gossip like you, gay guys.
Ted: In other workd - you haven't done it yet.
Debbie: It doesn't because he is not interested. It's just in a while since I worked out. I didn't want to disappoint him.
Ted: Well, if anyone knows how to please your man - it's Em.
Emmett: Hush. All you need is a little refresher course. And who better instruct you than Professors Honeycutt and Schmidt?
Ted: Doctors of dickology.
[In the locker room Michael goes carefully in - looks everywhere.]
Michael: She's not in here, isn't she?
Ben: Who?
Michael: My mother.
Ben: It's the men's locker room.
Michael: You'll think that'll stop her?
Man#1: Full hour in the court and I'm look a pound.
Man#2: Hey Ben.
Ben: Hey, how's goin'?
Man#2: Good.
Man#1: Remember those 5 minutes in the 90s where everyone want to put up weight because there meant to be dying? At least we're not goin' to that g*dd*mn hospice - talk about depressing.
Ben: So, who's in there, Paul?
Man#1: Uh, didn't you hear? He died last night.
[Cut to Justin and Ethan. Justin working at the computer.]
Ethan: [to the phone] Alright, I'll be there. Even if it means incurring Ishigura's wrath for not practicing my Bartok. I'll don't know, I ask him. [to Justin] Hey Jus, my friend Callie wants to know if my imaginary lover will be there?
Justin: Tell them I'd rather eat shit and die.
Ethan: [to the phone] He says he'd can't wait to meet you. Yeah, I'll talk to you later. [he hangs up] Now why do you have to be so antisocial?
Justin: I'm not antisocial. I just can't stand people!
Ethan: C'mon, you have a great time.
Justin: Chatting and failing about abandoned film in a room full of strangers?
Ethan: Oh my god you're a bigger f*cking snop than I am. That's why I love you. What's this?
Justin: It's a poster I'm working on for a charity event.
Ethan: I wish somebody would throw a benefit for us.
Justin: Actually, I'm getting paid.
Ethan: Like, as in dollars?
Justin: As in $500.
Ethan: No shit, how did you swing that?
Justin: Someone I know.
Ethan: (laughs) Oh, someone you know! Someone we both know?
Justin: (defensively) He needed an artist.
Ethan: And even though he works with dozens of them every day in his office, he miraculously thought of you.
Justin: Maybe he thought I was the best qualified for the job.
Ethan: Or maybe he's just trying to win you back.
Justin: He can try all he wants. What makes you think I would ever go?
Ethan: Oh, I don't know, he's rich, he's gorgeous, he can make cash magically appear?
Justin: f*ck the money. f*ck him. I want to be with you.
Ethan: Prove it.
Justin: I'm not gonna prove it.
Ethan: C'mon.
Justin: How do I love the 'Let-me-count-the-ways'
Ethan: Oh, you can do better than that.
[With that he tosses Ethan at the bed and give him a blowjob.]
[At the bar in Woody's.]
Mel: No, this ones is one me.
Brian: So, what do you want this time?
Lindsay: We've decided to give Gus a sipling.
Brian: And when we gonna do this? We have 2 hours.
Lindsay: Oh, not now!
Brian: Well, when did you want it?
Lindsay: I don't.
Mel: There a slight change of plans - I'm going to be the one to carry out our next child.
Brian: [laughs] You!? I thoughed you can't have one.
Mel: I had intrometriosis.
Lindsay: But she's cured.
Brian: There is a lord.
Lindsay: So, what do you say?
Brian: It's impossible. Besides, I agreed to inseminate you, not your husband.
Lindsay: But if you choose someelse our kid won't be related.
Brian: Have you ever meet my sister? That's not much of an argument.
Lindsay: But we had a deal!
Brian: You were the ones who changed the terms.
[Brian gets up and walks out.]
Mel: I'd say that went well!
[Private coaching time with Professor Honeycut and Professor Schmidt - and alot of dildos.]
Debbie: Jesus Christ! Do you realised that people eat here?
Emmett: There all fresh new.
Ted: And picked from the pleasure boutice.
Debbie: I just want to sleep with the guy not drill for oil.
Emmett: Well that's why we brough these things to help you arceive the goal. Which would you say most resembles to Detective Horvath?
Debbie: How the hell would I know!? I've only kissed him. Now put those things away.
Ted: Not so fast. Now, you ask for our help and that's why we've come to teach you...
Emmett: The Art of Oral Sex.
Ted: We're gonna shared with you secrets only gay men knows.
Emmett: Techniques passed down from generation to generation since time in memorial.
Ted: Once you've passed the course we're guarantee Horvath will forever guard you. Now, shall we begin?
Emmett: All right, let us relaxed the jaw, rotating first cockwise, than counter cockwise, now wag the tongue.
Ted: Next grab the shaft firmly with your right hand and creating a velvet wise.
Emmett: Now open wide, being sure to cover your teeth allowed a smooth and unextracted entry.
Debbie: Boys you know I love you - but I need to ask you one question. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR f*cking MINDS!? There is no way I'm gonna do this.
Ted: There are parties in Beverly Hills where housewife pay thousand bucks a head...
Emmett: So a week.
Ted: To learn what we're teaching you for free.
Emmett: Debbie, you're gonna make Horvath happy, don't you?
Debbie: Sure I do.
Ted: And do you have a good time yourself?
Emmett: So what's the harm to do it the right way?
[She spit out her gum, grab a small dildo, but the boys shake their heads. She take the biggest dildo at the table.]
[In front of the liberty diner. Ben sitting on a bench, smoking. Michael comes from the diner.]
Michael: Here, I have chili - you wanna get?
Ben: Thank you. I am allright.
Michael: I'm sorry.
Ben: For what?
Michael: For Paul. For you.
Ben: I didn't expect that so soon. If I'd known, I would gonna see him more often.
Michael: You were busy.
Ben: Right. It's always an excuse not to visit someone you'd shared for life with, your bed.
Michael: I'm sure he would understood. And forgave you the same way you forgave him.
Ben: Why am I so g*dd*mn angry at him right now? For getting it, for giving it to me. For not even bothering to take care of himself or watch what he ate. I would tell him nutrition is essential. And exercise, you gotta build up your muscle mass. But it was as if once he knew he had it, he figured I'm gonna die anyway so what the hell difference does it make?
Michael: Luckily, you're not like that.
Ben: Riiiight!
Michael: You do everything you're supposed to do, everything you could possibly do
Ben: And in spite of everything, I still end up in the hospital. Maybe he's right, maybe it doesn't matter.
Michael: It does matter! The most important - you have to believe it does.
[Michael wants to kiss him, but Ben reluctant.]
[Horvath has dinner at Debbie's.]
Debbie: More meat?
Carl: No, three gams and I've stuffed.
Debbie: Now I have fruit for desert - I dunno if there's so excited.
Carl: With you in the room what could be?
Debbie: I'll get the fruit.
[she stands up, but Carl leads Debbie at his lap.]
Carl: Forget the fruit - I'll got a better idea.
Debbie: I'm too heavy.
Carl: Your beautiful.
Debbie: I'll have a confession to make. I'm a little nervous.
Carl: About what?
Debbie: About this. I wanna be with you - it's just it's been a long time.
Carl: How long?
Debbie: Last century.
Carl: Don't worry about it. I'll promised to be gentle. Maybe I'll teach you a few things.
[They kiss each other.]
[Cut to the loft. Brian is examining Justin's poster. Justin is standing tensely, arms folded across his chest, halfway across the room. ]
Brian: The expression on his face needs to be more enticing, but more foreboding. "Enter at your own risk; prepare to be f*cked."
Justin: I think I can manage that.
Brian: You could probably get a better view if you stood a little closer.
[Justin moves in closer, standing next to Brian.]
Brian: And his hips need to be more in profile to accentuate his cock.
Justin: It's always about sex!
Brian: Unless it's about death, but death doesn't sell tickets.
[Enter Michael.]
Michael: I've picked up Chinese food. I didn't know it was for three.
Justin: I was just goin. We're done, right?
Brian: Right. How much do I owe you?
Michael: Foods on me.
Brian: In that case allow me to supply the other things.
[Later, after the dinner and with a joint. They giggle as they read the old schoolbook.]
Brian: It just goes to show all life is a lesson.
Michael: That's what Ben always says. His ex, Paul, the one who infected him, died.
Brian: What a wonderful world. You'd have to be nuts or a selfish piece of shit to want to bring a child into it.
Michael: You did.
Brian: I'm sure as hell not to do it again, especially not for Melanie. She can go to a sperm bank.
Michael: [giggle] Or scrape it off of the floor of the backroom at Babylon!
Brian: Just give me one valid reason why any q*eer in his right mind would want to bring a kid into this world.
Michael: [long pause] To piss off straight people!
[Cut again to Deb/Horvath apres-sex.]
Debbie: You are not disappointed, are you?
Carl: Disappointed? I amazed.
Debbie: Really?
Carl: Escapially after all that lips and and how nervous you are.
Debbie: What's that mean?
Carl: Oh, nothing.
Debbie: Don't do be nothing after a remark like that.
Carl: Let's just say no-one can do just you with a little practise. From the way your... you know, lady, you could teach a class. [laughs]
Debbie: Is that so?
Carl: In fact I've heart from Beverly Hills - they charge a thousand dollars for...
Debbie: But I was telling you the truth. This is the first time in years that I...
Carl: Yeah, sure. Whatever.
Debbie: You don't believe me? Well that's just f*cking bad. Now you better take your suspicions and your suspendors and remove your butt from my bed!
Carl: Baby?
Debbie: NOW! OUT! GET OUT!
[Brian and Justin are walking along Liberty Avenue.]
Brian: Here's your fee. Plus a hundred dollars bonus for finishing on time.
Justin: Thanks.
Brian: And here's two tickets for tonight. One for you and one for Ethan.
[Ethan comes along and kisses Justin.]
Brian: I just admiring your boyfriend lastest creation.
Ethan: An artist does his best work when he has somebody he loves to inspire him.
Brian: So I've been told.
Justin: We should go.
Brian: See you tonight.
Justin: Oh, Brian gave us two tickets to the center carneval.
Ethan: I'm sure it would be a blast but we're already had our plans.
Brian: Oh well, you can change your mind - your names are on the list.
[Justin and Ethan walk off arm in arm, Brian watches them.]
[At the diner, Debbie with Ted and Emmett.]
Debbie: The special today is the Dick of Death. Food long, hot dog, creamy sauce on the side - don't make me repeat it.
Both: Two specials.
Emmett: Wait, wait, wait. So, how was it?
Ted: Yeah, should your professor should give you a A?
Debbie: Yeah, for assh*le. Cause that is all your fault.
Emmett: Well, he wasn't pleased?
Ted: Impossible. I've defight any male, living or d*ad, not to response our tested technique.
Emmett: Provided you follow our instructions.
Debbie: Oh, I followed them. He responded every flick.
Ted: Since so what's the problem?
Debbie: The problem is he thinks I'm a whore!
Emmett: I'm so proud!
Debbie: Well, I never see him again.
[At the other table, Melanie's doin some work at a list of names.]
Mel: What about A73? 6'2'', blue eyes and a menta?
Lindsay: Is that what you really want?
[Brian comes up with come cream.]
Brian: Cock cream? It's fresh from the morning. I've melked myself.
[Lindsay giggles, but Mel didn't like it.]
Mel: That's disgusting.
Lindsay: [laughs] It's really disgusting.
Brian: Bitches are offering some hand. That's offering to do.
Lindsay: Wait, do you really mean it?
Brian: Yeah, if it's a boy you can name it "Brian jr."
Mel: And if it's a girl?
Brian: Charity in honor of my donation. C'mon, let's go piss off some heterosexuals!
[Cut to Ben busting ass at the gym, lifting weights like a maniac. Later he approaches Tarzan in the locker room.]
Ben: Hey, I was wondering if you could me some help?
Troy: You always brought some.
Ben: Actually it's got more nutrition.
Troy: Come with me.
[Ted and Emmett go to the police station.]
Emmett: Excuse us. Detective Horvath?
Carl: What...uh... can I do for you, boys?
Emmett: Uh, a dear friend of ours is in a little bit of trouble.
Ted: Seems last night... a oral misscommunication accured?
Carl: [to his partners] You haven't some work to do? What's the hell is all this about?
Ted: Look, Debbie told us that you had sex, or some heterosexual permutation there of.
Carl: Jesus Christ, why you hanging it on the billboard? What we're doin in our bed isn't your business.
Emmett: Actually it is. See, Debbie was worried that she wouldn't live up your expectations.
Ted: That she let you down. So, we gave her a crash course.
Emmett: Introduction of fellatio one-on-one.
Ted: Emmett's the worlds theorities.
Emmett: Anyway, young Deborah passed with honors...
Ted: Magnacum laudly.
Emmett: In fact she did so well you apparently...
Ted: ...missguided her.
Emmett: And think she's a slut. The truth is, detective, we're the sluts.
Ted: Speak for yourself. Look, under all that dirty talk Debbie is just an old fashion girl who's only cry was only to please her man.
[Cut to the party. Justin is bored witless.]
Boy#1: Remember certain final is out of competition.
Ethan: Pook Marta, she's astonishing talent but terrified to perform.
Girl#1: And there is Georgio, musican at his best.
Ethan: Yeah, but he put in front of audience and they d*ad.
Girl#1: You my dear has nothing to worry about it.
[Later. Justin smokes. Ethan goes to him.]
Ethan: Having fun?
Justin: Yeah, it's great.
Ethan: Liar.
Justin: No, your friends are really smart and funny. I guess I'm just nervous, that's all.
Ethan: Don't be! You're with me!
[He kisses Justin. One of Ethan's friends walks up.]
Boy#2: So this is the imaginary boyfriend. Ethan tells me you're an artist.
Justin: That's right.
Boy#2: What kind of stuff do you do?
Justin: Lately I've been manipulating classical form with digital imagery.
Boy#2: So you're not just a pretty face.
Justin: No. I got a pretty big cock as well. And I give one hell of a blowjob. Right Ethan?
[Cut to Babylon and the Carnival.]
Man: Welcome to Carnival! Start with the butthole bingo. Whip-o-rama! And flaming dildo!
[At butthole bingo - the guy take the balls up in his ass and throw some out. Kinda new form of lottery.]
Man: B-13
[The GLC people are appalled.]
Brian: Of 800 people are waiting to get in.
Lindsay: Jesus Brian.
Tannis: What is all this?
Man: I-19.
Brian: This is butthole bingo. And that is the remarkable gift of that young man.
Tannis: That was not on the proposal you've submitted.
Brian: Yeah, I took a few liberties.
Philip: This was supposed to give a positive gay image. What kind of message do you think we're sending here?
Brian: That all man created horny and it's ok.
Mel: You really gone to far.
Brian: Yeah well in any consulation to me, we're making 10k out of his ass.
Man: O-69.
[At Ethan's party. Justin wants to leave.]
Justin: I'm gonna take-off.
Ethan: Well, already?
Justin: Yeah, I'm b*at.
Ethan: Alright, I'll go with you.
Justin: No, you can stay here. I see you at home.
Ethan: You sure?
Justin: Yeah.
Ethan: OK, love you.
Justin: You too.
[They kiss goodbye and Justin leaves.]
[At Debbie's home. Carl knocks at Debbies door.]
Carl: Can I come in?
[Debbie says no word. She goes inside. They sit at the kitchen table.]
Carl: You just finishing dinner?
Debbie: I just starting. Three pounds of chicken, four pounds of lemon meat.
Carl: Is that enough to keep up your stress?
Debbie: Right, I have ten blowjobs to give before I'm done.
Carl: I wish you wouldn't talk like that.
Debbie: So experts talk.
Carl: Yeah, I know. Two guys came to the police station today. That tall switch twink...
Debbie: Emmett?
Carl: And the one who looks like an accountand.
Debbie: Ted.
Carl: They explain all about your... education. How you went to the head of the class.
Debbie: Well Emmett's get a big mouth. What else did they tell ya?
Carl: That you did it for me. To please me.
Debbie: I wouldn't do that for just anyone, you know?
Carl: I know. Do you have any idea what that mean to me that you want to give me a pleasure that much?
Debbie: I though that would people do when they care about each other.
Carl: Which is why I enlisted detective carefully. There are two lesbians and they told me a little crash course of my own.
Debbie: No!
Carl: Oh yeah.
Debbie: And how did go?
Carl: It was very informative. In fact if you care to retire to the bootwar I have a homework assignment to do.
[Back to Brian's Filthy Carnival. Ted and Emmett try to throw some ring about a dildo. Ted succeeded.]
Michael: You have the perfect aim.
Ted: Yeah, expect the morning when I have to pee. Oh, this is for you.
Emmett: My hero.
Michael: That reminds me of Ben.
Ted: It's too bad he couldn't come to Brians Filthy Carnival.
Michael: He's still bumped out about Paul.
[At spot Ben comes in, in a really good mood.]
Michael: What are you doin' here?
Ben: I though there might be surprises.
[Home with the lesbians from the carnival.]
Mel: Changed my ass. Brian's still the same irresponsible f*ck he always was.
Lindsay: On the other hand he did the center almost a hundred thousand...
Mel: Yeah and humiliated them in the process.
Lindsay: That didn't stop them from accepting the money.
Mel: So it is a good reminder.
Lindsay: Of what?
Mel: That he is a loose cannon, not to be trusted. And definately not that kind of person I want as the father of my child.
Lindsay: Oh, c'mon!
Mel: I am serious.
Lindsay: No, you've been ridiculous.
Mel: You actually expected me to have a baby with someone like that?
Lindsay: I did.
Mel: Well, that was your decision. This one is mine and I say - I want someone else.
[Back to the carnvial. Justin walks in. Brian spots him immediately.]
Brian: You made it.
Justin: Thought I'd see how it was going.
Brian: Where's Ian?
Justin: Ethan. He's with his friends
Brian: You should've brought him.
Justin: No, I don't think so.
Brian: Maybe he would've learned a few things they don't teach in college.
[half naked guy sidles up to Brian]
Justin: Guess I'd better go.
Brian: Tell him that we've missed him.
[Outside Babylon, a guy is sitting on Brian's new car.]
Brian: You want to move your ass?
Guy: A cool car.
Brian: Thanks.
Guy: I always want to have one.
Brian: No shit.
Guy: Most have cost a lot.
Brian: Actually it was a charity contribution. You want to take you for a ride?
Guy: I like that.
[They get in and drive away.]
Music:
Infra Riot -
The Soundtrack of Our Lives
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "03x03 - Doctors of Dickology"} | foreverdreaming |
[A bizarre Show. All male actors in black suits are at the stage - together. A moderator calls their names - and they walk up in front.]
Moderator: And our next contestant - Michael Novotny!
[Audience cheers.]
Moderator: And here comes Ted Schmidt! A new entry - Justin Taylor! The favourite Brian Kinney! A real crowd breezer Emmett Honeycut! And let's hear it for Ben Bruckner! [he opens the envelope] And the winner is... Brian Kinney!
[All boys claps with their hands. Cut to Mel - she's scream. We're in Mel's bedroom.]
Lindsay: What is it?
Mel: Oh, I had that dream. Again.
Lindsy: Mr.Sperm donor pageant? Who won this time?
Mel: Guess!
Lindsay: Maybe it's some kind of sign.
Mel: I've already told you I want someone else.
Lindsay: But we agreed it's important that our kids has the same parent.
Mel: I didn't agree to the same assh*le.
Lindsay: I need my sleep.
Mel: Look, I know how much it means to you - you always has, you always will - it doesn't seem the same to me.
[Cut to Brian's office. Brian holds up a potato chip.]
Vance: "To eat or not to eat".
Brian: Try one. One's not wanna k*ll you.
[He tastet some - soon he eats he screams for water.]
Vance: Water! Jesus! You've said it wasn't gonna k*ll me what the hell are in those things?
Brian: Chilly powder, tobasco, peppers, a touch of sulfuric acid for the extra little kick. Meet our news account. "Hot Potato"
Vance: How we can make those sexy?
[Brian show Vance his idea.]
Vance: Hehe, "Hotter than your date, last saturday night."
Cynthia: I'm sorry Brian, but she insisted.
Claire: Brian, I need to talk to you. The school just called. Peter broke his arm in soccer practise.
Brian: Gardner? My sister Claire.
Vance: Sounds like you have a family crisis. I'll leave you. My pleasure.
Claire: I have to get to the emergency room right away.
Brian: Then what are you doin' here?
Claire: Can you help me? Can you look after John?
Brian: In case you haven't noticed, but I'm workin'.
Claire: Well, I don't know what else to do with him.
Brian: Stick him in a look at the bus station. You have hear of a sitter?
Claire: I can't find someone in the middle of the day.
Brian: Leave him with mom.
Claire: Mom's indisposed.
Brian: She passed out drunk again.
Claire: Brian please - I don't have time for this.
Brian: How long have you been?
Claire: I don't know, but I call as soon as I'm know. [to John] OK, you behave yourself, do you hear me?
[Claire leaves, John plays with Nintendo and Brian's edgy.]
John: You still a f*g?
Brian: Here... [he points to "Hot Potatos"] have one. Have two.
[And John grabs a handful. Brian smirks.]
[Cut to Mel and Lindz at the diner, ticking the guys' names off a list.]
Lindsay: [looking to Justin and talks to Mel] Look at the bone construction. Those adorable ears and he's incredible talented.
Mel: He's only 19.
Lindsay: Isn't this a plus? Fresh young sperm.
Mel: To me he's still a baby and I won't have a baby with a baby.
[Lindsay took his name off the list.]
Lindsay: Ben's brilliant.
Mel: I'll say he's perfect except for one thing...
Lindsay: Right. There is always Ted.
Mel: Our good reliable Teddy.
[Took his name off the list.]
Lindsay: Emmett?
[Mel looks straight to Linds and she's took his name off the list. Brian has brough his little monster to the diner.]
John: What is this place?
Brian: It's called the diner.
Ted: Hey Bri, you brough yourself a new boyfriend?
Emmett: He's even younger than the last one.
[Emmett laughs - Justin's not amused.]
John: God, I hope nobody sees me.
Brian: Sit down and shut up.
Debbie: Who's the cutie?
Brian: It's the spawn of Satan of my sister.
Debbie: I can recognize family resemblance.
Brian: Both sides.
John: [to Brian] Is she a drag queen?
Debbie: So, what can I get ya, honey?
John: I'm not eating anything in here!
Brian: Bring him a burger with an extra ground glass.
Justin: Hey.
Brian: Hey.
John: I wanna go arcade in the mall. I go there every day after school. [Justin hear's that sentence.]
Brian: Does your mama know?
John: She thinks I'm in the choir practise. I bet you like that.
Michael: What are you doin' with your nephew?
Brian: I'm brat-siting.
Michael: Hey John, I'm Brian's best friend. You remember me?
John: Nah.
Michael: Why don't you bring him at the store? I have a comicbook - it's just down the street.
John: You got the new Vengers?
Michael: I got everything. Why you don't drop by and check it out? I give free samples.
John: Can we, uncle Bri'?
Brian: All the sudden we're related?
Lindsay: Isn't that sweet of Michael?
Mel: Yeah, he's a real mensch.
[they look at each other and knows.]
Mel: ...any wouldn't give us any trouble.
[At the comic store.]
John: Can I have the spiderman, too?
Michael: Hmm.
Brian: Don't be so f*cking greek. Don't give him your shitload.
Michael: It's yours.
Brian: What do you say?
John: Thanks Mike.
Brian: Don't you want a kid?
Ben: Actually I give up a serious though because the studies show that two men can raise a child...
Brian: Psst, I mean this one. C'mon!
John: I don't wanna go!
Brian: We all have to go sometimes.
[They leave the shop.]
Ben: You were great with him. You know that?
Michael: Kid's love me - don't ask me why.
Ben: I don't have to.
[Michael touch Ben's breast.]
Michael: God, your hard.
Ben: Yeah, you too.
Customer: You have the new Superman?
Michael: You look at him. It's right over there. Those workouts have been paying off. I'll see you at dinner.
Ben: I thought I'd h*t the gym tonight, plan some extra time on my stomach.
Michael: I though we made plans.
Ben: So I'll change them. It isn't a problem, is it?
Michael: No. It's not a problem.
[Cut to Ted's apartment. Both eating.]
Emmett: You're a wonder.
Ted: I am?
Emmett: I've knew you 5 or 6 years and had no idea you cook.
Ted: It's because I never had someone to cook for. Now that I do you want believe the delighted I planned.
Emmett: Well, I can't hardly wait for desert.
Ted: Just a minute - I just want to clear up.
Emmett: Everything's already cleaned. It's practically spotless.
Ted: Well, you know me - I can't relax since everything is in order.
Emmett: Yeah, when I cook the kitchen looks like hurricaned.
Ted: This is so nice - I wish you didn't have to go.
Emmett: Who's goin' anywhere?
Ted: I mean, it's so inconvenient that you run back and forth to your place.
Emmett: Well sometimes someone needs to wear new undies.
Ted: Yeah, but wouldn't it be more practical if the undies came to you instead of you coming to the undies?
Emmett: OK, are you saying...?
Ted: I want you to move in.
Emmett: You mean...?
Ted: Live together. Check up.
Emmett: Check Up. I love to hear that words. But don't you think it's too soon?
Ted: Yeah, you probably right. We're knowing each other - how long? - 5,6 years. We're should wait at least another five more.
Emmett: You know what I mean. Loving and living together are two different things. What if we drive the other crazy?
Ted: Don't know at least we try. You know what I mean.
Emmett: As long as I wouldn't be in the way...
T: How could you ever be in the way?
[At Melanie and Lindsay's, Michael is showing off his daddy skills with Gus.]
Lindsay: You know, you really good with kids.
Mel: Gus adores you.
Lindsay: It's because you had a good heart.
Michael: That what my ma' always tell me. She says, "Michael, you have a good heart." You know what happens to a good heart? I think she's secretly wishes I'm more like Brian.
Mel: With no heart? There are no more qualities a person can have is a kind and loving nature.
Lindsay: I agree. It's defnately we intend to give it to Gus.
Mel: And something our second child should have as well.
Michael: You having another kid?
Mel: Hmm-hmm.
Michael: Hey Gus, make another happy face - your having a baby brother or baby sister.
Mel: And this time I'm going to carry.
Michael: No shit? [looks to Gus] Sorry. That's great.
Lindsay: Which is why we ask you to stop by.
Michael: Why? You want me to baby sit? It's really early, isn't it?
Mel: We would like you to be the father.
[Michael freezes.]
Michael: Me?
Mel: Yeah.
[Michael and Ben discuss the prospect back at their apartment.]
Ben: I think it's great.
Michael: You do?
Ben: To be a father and get a child? Hoping Mel and Lindsay create a family.
Michael: But it's a big responsibility bringing a human being into the world. And I dunno if I'm be the old man.
[As Michael speeks an ampoule falls out of Ben's trousers. Quickly he get the drugs. Michael didn't notived this.]
Ben: You are more ready than you think. You want to shower?
Michael: It's exciting, isn't it? What if I'm f*ck it up?
Ben: How could you f*ck it up? All you have to do, Michael is, to suply sperm.
[They got in the shower and have hot sex.]
[At the loft, Brian taking a shower. John is taking the opportunity to snoop through Brian's p*rn videos and sex toys. He pockets the cowrie shell bracelet and takes the cash out of Brian's wallet. Brian catches him pocketing the cash.]
Brian: Put it back! Is said put it back in the f*cking wallet, now!
John: What for? You've got more money than you know what to do with!
Brian: Who told you that? Your mother?
John: She said you were a selfish son of a bitch who never gave anyone in the family a red cent!
Brian: Yeah, I wonder why? Now, hand over.
[He don't. He runs away. Brian catches him and grabs the money out of his pocket.]
John: You f*cking f*g, you and your friends are goin' to hell.
Brian: Yeah? Who told you that? Granny?
John: You touched my dick!
Brian: You little shit!
John: Let me go, f*ck! assh*le, let me go!
[Brian picks him up and carries him to the bathroom, where he ducks his head into the toilet and flushes a few times.]
Brian: That'll teach you to f*ck with f*g!
John: You gonna be sorry. You gonna be so sorry.
[Emmett and Ted don't waste any time. Emmett's moving in already. Michael, Ted, Emmett and Brian stand around watching the hunky moving guys.]
Michael: Where did you find the hunky moving man?
Ted: Under "Hunking moving man" in the gay yellow pages. They Liberty Avenue top movers.
Brian: That one is a bottom - trust me.
Michael: So talking wet dreams.
Brian: Don't you too turned on. Safe your cum to screw Melanie's twat.
Ted: Our little Mikey, seiring off-spring.
Emmett: That this mean you two are related?
Brian: Yeah, lesbian want to move.
Emmett: It's exciting to have a kid in the world.
Michael: Your nephew looks like you.
Brian: I can hold him back to rip me off.
Emmett: Um, they said moving out is such mature.
Brian: I give you two lovebirds 24 hours.
[Brian and one of the movers check each other out.]
Brian: Ups.
[At the diner, Debbie is broadcasting the good news.]
Debbie: Stuff tomato. I'm gonna be a grandma! [another desk] Pott-pie. I'm gonna be a grandma! [another desk] Cheese. I'm gonna be a grandma!
Michael: Would someone please make her stop?
Vic: Let her glow a little. She never in her wildest dreams though she gonna be a grandma.
Debbie: And here he is - big daddy!
Michael: Your a little pre-mature. Could you wait for at least conception?
Debbie: So when do you make your first deposit?
Michael: We haven't discussed it.
Debbie: Well those things don't happen by magic. They take planing and preparation. What kinda shorts you wearing?
Michael: It's none of your business!
Debbie: Make sure they not too tight. The tightens constrict your balls. They gonna heat up and all your little soldiers are destimated. And cut back on the sex - you got safe your sperm.
Ben: You know, I h*t the gym. See you later.
Debbie: Bye honey.
Vic: Let me out, sis.
Debbie: Where you want?
Vic: To get Mikey my big shorts.
[Outside the diner. Ben heads out and Vic catches up with him.]
Vic: Ben. You mind if I walk with ya?
Ben: No.
Vic: Too much baby talk. I never wanted kids myself.
Ben: I did. Of course, that's not gonna happen now.
Vic: One of the ways we're not like them anymore
Ben: I try not to think about it. Some days I even succeed.
Vic: I know what you mean. But then something happens to remind me - a touch of the flu, someone donating sperm, a lover who dies.
Ben: Vic - I'll seeya later.
[Ben can't get away from Vic fast enough. ]
[Brian brings Hunky Moving Guy back to the loft - actually he doesn't wait till they get all the way to the loft; he f*ck the guy in the elevator. The elevator door swings open and a cop is standing at Brian's door.]
Cop: Brian Kinney?
Man: Who's that?
Brian: Whop, you caught me. Where we meet? Uniform Night at Babylon?
Cop: I'm officier Handley, Pittsburgh Police.
Brian: Christ, your for real.
Cop: You need to come with me to the headquarter, Mr.Kinney.
[Melanie, Lindsay and Michael in a cocktail bar.]
Lindsay: You sure you wanna do this?
Michael: Ben and I were up to talking about it. I think he's almost excited about it as I am.
Melanie: And you understand what's required? And all you have to do is to sign this.
Michael: "The donor agrees... no parental rights..." What's all this?
Melanie: It's just a formalety.
Michael: Detection from what?
Melanie: As you can see, Section 2, paragraph 4, it releaves you for any financial responsibilies onces and forever.
Michael: Well that is a relieve not to see my kid.
Lindsay: You'll see the baby, Michael.
Michael: Sure, you can explain her, when she's told enough, that I'm be the doner.
Melanie: That is what it's about.
Michael: I must heard you wrong, because I swear you said you wanted me to be the father.
Mel: After what happened with Brian not wanting to give up his parental rights, I'm sure you understand -
Michael: Yeah, and I'm beginning to understand how he must have felt! I sure as hell understand how a kid feels not having a dad because I didn't have one! When you have to do this then go ahead. You have to do what's right for you. So do I.
[he stands up and leaves.]
[Justin is at Debbie's and she's giving him her ugly household tchochkes.]
Debbie: Always finish your meals with a smile. And here [a t-shirt with jesus] Useful and decorative. I know he's jevish, so tell him to ignore Jesus on the cross. And this is my favourite [a porcelan cat] it's fixed all those years...it's remind whereever you are - I'm always there and looking out for ya.
Justin: Are you sure you don't want them?
Debbie: Well there are family areloons but you boys need things, so I'm passing it on you and Ethan for save keeping.
[Someone knocking at the door. Vic get it. It's Carl Horvath.]
Carl: Hi Vic.
Vic: Detective Horvath. Sis, your dick's here.
Debbie: Hey!
Carl: Hey honey.
Debbie: Hey your sweet meat.
Vic: Heterosexual - you see Justin there not that different from us.
Debbie: I though we want to meet tomorrow night.
Carl: We are, but there is something I though you should know. One for your lost boys are in trouble.
Debbie: Which one?
Carl: Kinney.
Justin: Brian? Something happened to Brian?
Carl: It seems that his twelve year old nephew is accused him of molesting him.
Debbie: Holy shit.
Justin: That's bullshit. There's NO WAY Brian would ever do anything like that.
Vic: Has he be arrested?
Carl: So far they just questing him.
Debbie: Brian maybe do a lot of things and I'm the first one to say so, but he's no child molested.
[Hurricane Emmett is frying up a mess of Aunt Lulu's fried chicken for dinner. Ted comes home after a long, hard day to find the place turned upside down.]
Emmett: Welcome home, honey. How was work?
Ted: Uh, the usual. Orgy, g*ng-r*pe.
Emmett: You must be exausted.
Ted: Yeah, keep giving those website members high quality entertainment they deserve. What's all this?
Emmett: My Aunt Lulu's fried chicken.
Ted: I'll go and wash my hands.
Emmett: Oh by the way, I hang up a few things to dry.
Te: I see.
Emmett: Why you sit down and put your feed up, honey? I'll be ready in a minute.
Ted: What happen to the living room?
Emmet: Oh, I re-decorated. Do you like it?
Ted: It really give the room a flow. Um, my nail.
Emmett: What's it, Teddy?
Ted: Um, there was a nail there.
Emmett: What? That rusty old thing?
Ted: Yeah, where is it?
Emmett: While I re-decorated it falls down the floor. You know how danger it is if you barefeet?
Ted: What did you do with it?
Emmett: Drew it out. It's just an old nail.
Ted: It's not just an old nail. It's Pavarotti's nail. On every performance he a bent nail from the backstage for good luck. Everybody knows that. For the night he is in town for Pittsburgh opera he found that nail, picked it up, kissed it, threw over the shoulder and I picked it up. It's my good luck charm since ever. Now it's just gone?
Emmett: I didn't know.
[He turns out the music.]
Emmett: I'm sorry.
Ted: You had no right touching it. You had no right to touch anything. I would appreciated if you put everthing back the way you found it and that includes removing your dripping shorts from my bathroom!
Emmett: Your bathroom? I'm sorry, I thought it was our bathroom. I though this was our place - apparently not! Well, like you said we're find out sooner or later if we can live together - better we found out sooner.
[With that he leaves.]
[Michael and Brian are leaving the police station.]
Michael: He told them, you made him suck your cock?!
Brian: That's what he told my c**t sister. That what's my c**t sister told the cop.
Michael: And I'll give that assh*le free comics! They don't believe him, do they?
Brian: Listen up, Michael - are you listening?
Michael: I'm listening.
Brian: They're heterosexuals. They believe all perverts want one thing to get our hands on some sweet piece of little boy-meat.
Michael: So all he has to do is to accused you and they automatically believe him?
Brian: For now I use the money I'm spare with my Botox trip for some g*dd*mn 300-an-hour-lawyer.
Michael: They aren't gonna arested you, are they?
Brian: How do I know?
Michael: Shit, you gonna be go to prison!
Brian: Don't worked up.
Michael: They can't come to take you away.
Brian: I don't attend to.
[Brian heads right over to Claire's house and practically bangs the door down.]
Brian: Open the door.
Claire: Go away, or I call the police, your son-of-a-bitch!
Brian: Listen, open that f*cking door! Where is he?
Claire: Get out here, Brian!
Brian: John! Get your ass down here, you little f*ck!
Claire: You think I gonna let you near him, your sick pervert?
Brian: You think I actually molested your son? Maybe you would ask me BEFORE you called the cop.
Claire: Why should I and why would you make it up?
Brian: Because your kid is a twisted f*g hating liar, Claire. That's why. Where'd he learn that from? Oh, and the mom stage left.
Joanie: You have a hell of a nerve showing your face here.
Brian: Nice to see you, too. What? Don't I get a kiss?
Joanie: Stay away from me.
Brian: Don't worry, you're not my type.
Claire: God knows what permanently damage you've done to him?
Joanie: You ought to be locked up. Put away?
[Brian bump against her Whisky glass.]
Brian: Thanks old sport, have another.
Claire: If I had anything to say, you will be...?
Joanie: How could you?
Brian: How could I what? Let little Johnny suck my dick? I'M GONNA FIND YOU, YOU SACK OF SHIT AND THIS TIME YOU WON'T COMING UP!
Claire: You hear that mother - he just thr*at him. We're calling the police.
Brian: Go ahead, sis. Tell him I'm a great monster and godless f*g, right mom?
Joanie: You think you gaining a reaction from me? You're not. However I will say knowing the kind of life you live, the type of people you associate with, I'm not surprised. It's what happens when you turn your back on the Lord.
Brian: f*ck the lord and f*ck you!
[He leaves.]
[Michael's back in his flat.]
Michael: I told my mom not to get her hopes up and she go and tell everybody... I know how disappointed she is and mope for days.
Ben: You know her.
Michael: Yeah.
Ben: If it's any consolation I'm disappointed too. I was looking for to be Uncle Ben.
Michael: I loke the rise.
Ben: It's the closest to be a dad.
Michael: I didn't know you want to be one.
Ben: It was always I though...
[Somebody is trying to get in the apartment.]
Michael: Shit, there is anybody in the apartment. [They look in the living room.] Jesus Em, what's goin' on?! What your doin' back?
Emmett: Brian was right. It's a good thing I saved the boxes.
[Babylon. Ted stands alone at the stair. Brian appears.]
Brian: Hey, where is your wife?
Ted: Congratulations. I hope you're happy.
Brian: What I feel is a over-whelming disgusted seeing two pathetic f*g trying to turn themselves into something even more pathetic - two happily married heterosexuals.
Ted: This has nothing to do with that! It's got to do with what us lower life forms generally refer to as love. Because you can't comperehent with that it doesn't mean that we condemt to live our lifes so.
Brian: Wow, that was very politic for a former accoundant. I'm sure we find a dream that satisfice your existence. But until then why you have a trick?
Ted: f*ck you off!
Brian: [look at a boy] What a good idea!
[He goes in the backroom.]
Brian: [on the second though] Your too young for me.
Boy: That's not what I've heard.
[Justin tracks down John at the video arcade.]
John: Yeah f*ck, die!
Justin: How was choir practise?
John: Who are you?
Justin: A friend of your Uncle's.
John: Another f*g. Get away from me. Or I call the police.
Justin: What you gonna tell him? That I made you suck me off too?
John: What do you want?
Justin: I want the truth.
John: I already told the truth. He offered me money, but I didn't do it. Do you offered you money, too?
Justin: He didn't have to. I would have paid him! If you don't admit that your lying you made all of this up Brian could have jailed.
John: Good, I hope he god r*pe by black guys.
Justin: Your mother must be so proud of you.
John: What the f*ck are you doin'? Get your hands off me!
Justin: It's a cool bracelett.
[With that he leaves. He has all the proof he needs.]
[Mel and Lindz goin' down the street.]
Lindsay: Maybe the terms of the agreement were a bit harsh.
Mel: I was always trying to protect us.
Lindsay: But Michael's don't Brian. That's why we choose him in a first place.
Mel: I've said we got Genius from the sperm bank. It got's easier.
Lindsay: Are you kidding? Say the dad is just a number?
Mel: I not had repeat what we goin' through with Brian.
Lindsay: I just said Michael's not Brian! Aren't you listening to me?
Mel: Baby, the entire street listening to you.
Lindsay: It's not about Michael or who the father will be. It's about trust. Trusting to faith. Trusting to god. That something will be allright. If we accept that maybe we have a baby? Maybe we should stop right now.
[John comes home to find Horvath, Justin and Debbie waiting for him.]
John: What's up?
Debbie: How about you telling us?
Carl: Let me handle this, Debbie. Detective Carl Horvath, Pittsburgh PD. Understand you have some aleligation recenly regarding your Uncle, Brian Kinney.
John: He made me do things to.
Carl: It's a pretty serious charge, if it's true.
John: I'm not lying.
Carl: He said you made it up because he found you stealing money from his wallet.
John: He's a liar.
Carl: You also took a bracelet with shells.
John: I don't have any stupid bracelet.
Justin: I've saw you wearing it today in the Arcade.
John: Why should anyone believe you?
Claire: John, is that the bracelet you had on this morning at breakfast?
John: [whispers] Mom, would you shut up?
Claire: You've said you got it in the mall.
John: I brough it in my allowence at the store accross the pet shop.
Carl: See the bracelett, son.
John: I don't have it - it lost.
Claire: Show it to him!
[he gives it to Det.Horvath.]
Justin: Brian got it in Mexico. His initials are carves on one of the shells.
Claire: I want the truth, John! You tell me the truth! Do Brian really do what you said he did?
John: He is a f*g. Like you've said, just a g*dd*mn f*g.
Debbie: Shame on you.
[John runs away.]
Debbie: [to Claire] But most of all, shame on you!
[Carl give the bracelett to Justin. They all leave.]
[At the comic book store.]
Michael: [to a customer] And here is Hulk from 1988 - it's a really cool episode with Volvoen.
[The boy reads some other comic. Mel and Lindsay are coming in.]
Lindsay: We hope we're coming in bad time.
Michael: Nah, I just advising a collector. It's actually one of my best costumers.
Mel: We won't stay too long. Michael, about our agreement...
Michael: Look, I already told you...
Lindsay: We know. That's why we decided to amend some of the points.
[Melanie tears up the agreement.]
Mel: We decided to fulfill your function - you are here the baby as the father.
Lindsay: So, what do you say, dad?
[They hug each other.]
[In Woody's. Emmett are at the bar. Ted appears.]
Ted: Might if I had a drink?
Emmett: We're at Woody's, not at Emmett's.
Ted: Great jin-tonic. Em...
Emmett: Save your breath. It's quite obvious we're not living together.
Ted: Look, I'm sorry that I'm got upset.
Emmett: Upset? Tried molested.
Ted: I just kind of finicky.
Emmett: Finicky is when you turned your nose in the bisquits. It's your place. In the future, don't ask someone to move in.
Ted: After you left I walked up and down the Liberty Avenue and see in the diner the last weeks Pittsburg Outs. Have you seen it?
Emmett: Is the headline "Twinkie boyfriend goes beserk"?
Ted: Actually there is a interesting letter. Dear abs.
Emmett: Don't tell me you read that silly queen.
Ted: Go on.
Emmett: "Dear Abs, my boyfriend just moved in with me and he's taking over. He even moved the lube with the right side of the bed. Help. Out of lost." So?
Ted: Now his answer.
Emmett: "Dear adder, get a new place that both of yours unless you want to jerk-off alone."
Ted: It must be a reason I read that ad this morning. I don't want loose you, Em, but there is no way we gonna live together in my place.
Emmett: Yesterdays news.
Ted: So I suggest we take "Dear Abs" advice and get our place. A place to both of ours. In fact I was thinking of a house.
Emmett: A house?
Ted: With the backyard, rooms for you to decorate. It's the best suggest one make me. so, what do you say?
Emmett: I say those are the most romantic words that I've ever heard.
[In the house with Michael.]
Ben: You counting your family days until Christmas?
Michael: That's Melanie's fertility cycle.
Ben: And what a perfect spot for - right beside our bed.
Michael: It's to remind me when we can do it and when we can't. Now when I'm gonna be a father I had a extra special responsibility. Tonight it looks good... You up for it?
Ben: Yeah, as soon as I back from the gym.
Michael: Wait, you goin' in the gym again? But don't be late.
Ben: And miss my one week oportunity?
[We see Ben in the bathroom injecting steroids.]
[In front of Brian's loft. Justin returns Brian's bracelet.]
Justin: I believe this belongs to you.
Brian: Thanks.
Justin: Anytime. Here.
[He fastens it around Brian's wrist.]
Brian: Shouldn't you be getting back to your boyfriend?
Justin: Yeah.
[They gaze into each other's eyes for a long, delicious moment. Then Justin walks away, leaving Brian leaning pensively in the doorway for a few minutes before he turns away and walks back into the loft, leaving the door wide open.]
Music: The Sound of v*olence -
from Cassius
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "03x04 - Brat-Sitting"} | foreverdreaming |
[Michael spies on Ben taking his steroids in the bathroom]
[Michael talking to Brian on the street]
Michael: So there I was, stark naked, freezing my tail off, spying on Ben.
Brian: Was he plucking his magic twanger?
Michael: No. He had a needle, and he was giving himself a sh*t in the ass.
Brian: The nutty professor, a juice pig? I am so turned on. Here, feel.
[Laughing]
Michael: Cut it out. I’ve seen him do it twice. I think he's doing steroids.
Brian: For the life of me, I’ll never understand why so many gay men want to f*ck their bodies up with drugs.
Michael: He's always at the gym, he has these nasty moods.
Brian: Roid rage. Well, consider it a small price to pay for an amazing body.
Michael: You're a big f*cking help.
[In front of Babylon]
Emmett: Hi, Guys!
Michael: So how are the two love birds?
Ted: Uh, freezing our tits off.
Emmett: Yeah, well, at least I won't have to pinch my nips to get them all taut.
Brian: Allow me.
Emmett: Ow!
Ted: Can you believe the line to get into this f*cking dump?
Michael: Yeah, it's on account of those guys who O.D.'d.
Ted: Great. So because some ignorant amateurs didn't know what they were doing, the rest of us should get punished.
Emmett: Yeah, you can thank your friend, the chief.
Brian: Let's go inside before my dick gets frostbite.
Ted: You have a guest pass?
Brian: Uh, only one guest.
Ted & Emmett: assh*le.
Officer to a drag queen: All right, honey, you can go.
Officer to Emmett: See some I.D.?
Emmett: Hmm.
Officer: Any drugs?
Emmett: Work the pockets, honey. Work the pockets.
Various: Whoo-oo-oo!
[Ethan’s place]
Ethan: You want me to wash your back?
Justin: Hmm... Any excuse to keep your hands on me.
[Chuckle]
Ethan: You know, cleanliness is next to horniness.
Justin: Mmm. you know, when you're finished, I know a really cool game we can play. It’s called "hide the soap bar."
Ethan: Oh-h.
[Ringing of telephone]
Ethan: Hello? Yeah? Oh hey, how you doing? No f*cking way. That's fantastic!
Justin: What?
Ethan: Prepared? Are you kidding? I’ve been preparing my whole life! Yeah. Okay. Thanks, man. That was Glen. Yosef Treblek had a triple bypass.
Justin: Who's Yosef Treblek?
Ethan: This Hungarian violinist.
Justin: Oh god, that's terrible.
Ethan: No, no, no, it's the greatest news ever. He was supposed to play the Harrisburg symphony, but obviously he can't now. So glen suggested me, the silver medalist for the Heifetz competition, as the last minute replacement, and they said yes! They said yes!
Justin: Oh my god, it's your first concert.
Ethan: it's not Philadelphia or Boston, but...
Justin: It doesn't matter. It’s a start.
Ethan: Oh, god. I wish you could be there with me.
Justin: I wish I could too. But your agent would flip out if I was there.
Ethan: Yeah. I know. Hey, I was going to give you this when the phone rang. [Ethan shows the rings to Justin] I bought two of them. They weren't very expensive, but the guy at the store swore to me that they were one of a kind. And I thought it would be a way for us to be together, even when we're apart.
[At Vangard agency]
TV announcer: Citizen, w*r hero, cop, chief of police. Jim Stockwell. You can sleep at night knowing he's the mayor. Paid for by the committee to elect Jim Stockwell.
[Brian is bored]
Jim: Well? What do you think?
Brian: If I want to sleep at night, I could take a xanax. Or I could watch your ad.
Gardner: What my partner means--
Brian: What I mean is, it's f*cking boring.
Nancy: That spot was made by one of the best agencies in the state.
Dominic: 96% of the test group we showed it to reacted favourably.
Brian: Who were they, insomniacs?
Jim: Our loyal supporters.
Brian: Well, you've already got their vote. But what about the voters who are undecided, or the ones who wouldn't cast a ballot for a law and order candidate? You have to pull them into your camp if you want to win. And there is no way in hell you're going to do it with that.
Nancy: I suppose you have a better plan?
Brian: Do you work out?
Jim: Four times a week. religiously.
Brian: Any sports?
Jim: Golf. Swimming. Basketball.
Brian: Hobbies?
Jim: Build model airplanes.
Brian: No shit. I did that when I was a kid. You too?
Gardner: Sure, who didn't? But what's the point?
Brian: The point is, I can relate to it. Everyone can. But who the hell's going to relate to some stiff in a uniform?
Gardner: Brian, take it easy...
Jim: It's all right. I don't mind the truth even if you use it like an as*ault w*apon. So what do you suggest?
Brian: Change your image. Stop selling yourself as a hero and start selling yourself as a man.
Nancy: That's it?
Brian: An ordinary man, with the same cares and concerns as everyone else. The only difference is, you're in a position to actually do something about it.
Jim: Look, I know I came to you for some fresh ideas. However, it's a radical change from the campaign we've been running.
Dominic: Too radical.
Brian: Well, it's your call. But with the way things are going, I’d say you have nothing to lose except the election.
[Liberty Diner]
Emmett: See now, this, shade of apricot for the walls is calling out for a plum carpet; which practically screams for the raspberry couch with the peach cushions.
Ted: Yeah, I knew I should've gotten the fruit cobbler.
Lindsay: isn't it a bit extreme?
Mel: For Emmett, I’d say it's a bit subdued.
Emmett: Excuse me?
Lindsay: You're moving into a different kind of neighbourhood. It’s not the gay ghetto. It’s a bedroom community.
Ted There's a difference?
Mel: Yes, it's more traditional, more reserved. So, maybe you want to change your style, lose the Streisand posters.
Emmett: The main event was going in the entry.
Lindsay: The sl*ve-boy lamps?
Ted: It's going on the bar, right?
Mel: You just want to think about fitting in, rather than standing out.
Lindsay: Think our house.
Emmett: Your house? Am I to believe I’m actually getting decorator tips from lesbians?
Ted: Look, this is Emmett’s project, right? He's got carte blanche to do whatever he wants with the house. Streisand, plums, kumquats if that's what he wants, then that's what it'll be.
Lindsay: Good luck.
Debbie: By the way, you didn't hear it from me, and I didn't hear it from my cop boyfriend; but there's a certain police chief who wants to be mayor who's trying to get some attention for himself by going after businesses that pander to shall we say—
Emmett: Prurient interests?
Debbie: I was gonna say web-whackers.
Ted: Well, don't worry about me, deb. I run a clean operation.
Emmett: Teddy is immaculate. He even rinses out his underwear before he puts them in the laundry.
Debbie: Honey, if they want to, they can always find something.
Ted: Well, thanks for the heads-up, Deb.
Debbie: Well, don't thank me. [Brian comes into the Diner] Thank Benedict Arnold Kinney. He's the one working for the enemy.
Brian: Nice to see you too. I’ll have a split pea soup to go.
Debbie: Justin, a split pea. And feel free to piss in it.
Brian: You should really learn to separate your personal feelings from business, Deb.
Justin: It's three bucks.
Brian: Where'd you get the ring?
Justin: Ethan
Brian: How romantic.
Justin: f*ck all you'd know about romance.
Brian: Keep it.
Justin: That's a big tip.
Brian: Maybe you could buy him some flowers. I’m sure he'd like that.
[Ben and Michael’s place]
Ben: Are you having an Internet affair, Michael? You've been on that a long time.
Michael: I’m doing some research.
Ben: Ah! Work?
Michael: For you.
Ben: Me? Steroids?
Michael: I saw you.
Ben: Saw me what?
Michael: sh**ting up. So unless you've suddenly become a heroin addict, I figure that's what it is.
Ben: Michael, are you spying on me?
Michael: Spying on you? We live together. How can I not notice?
Ben: Well, a lot of guys are using them, okay? To fight body wasting.
Michael: You're not wasting.
Ben: Yet.
Michael: Did your doctor prescribe them?
Ben: No.
Michael: Well, then where did you get them?
Ben: What is this, an interrogation?
Michael: I'm concerned, that's all. It says there're a lot of side effects. Mood swings, diarrhea, liver damage--
Ben: Yeah, I’m aware of the potential side effects, Michael. I have done my research too.
Michael: Well then, we should've at least talked it over.
Ben: Look. I’m just trying a cycle, okay? To see if it makes any difference. And so far the advantages are beating the disadvantages. Huh? [Ben showing his muscles to Michael] It's not too bad, huh?
Michael: It's fine.
Ben: How about that? [Ben makes Michael touch his abs and then his dick]
Michael: Nice. Aw, don't tell me it works on that too.
[Brian makes the commercial of Stockwell]
Jim to the kids: Get on him, get on him, get on him. Good sh*t. Okay, take it out. You’re guarding him. Move a little bit, right there.
Jim to the camera: I'm Jim Stockwell, police chief and coach of my son's basketball team. There was a time when you could send your kids to the park. Before sex and drugs were available on every street corner. As a crime fighter and a parent, I’d like to see those times again. I know you would too. Vote for me for mayor, and let's make Pittsburgh family-friendly once more.
Man: And cut.
Brian to the cameraman: Keep rolling, keep rolling. keep rolling.
Jim: How was that?
Man: It was great.
Brian: Did you get that?
Cameraman: Yep, I got it.
Brian: Thanks.
Jim to Brian: How was that?
Brian: If I didn't know better, I’d swear you were tom cruise.
[Ted’s office]
Ted: Everyone have valid I.D.s?
Men: Yes, sir!
Ted: Mm-hm. Any convicted felons?
Men: No, sir!
Ted: Mm-hm. Any illegal drugs on the premises?
Men: No, sir!
Ted: Excellent. All right back to work.
Men: Yes, sir!
Ted: Oh, and, uh… keep it clean.
Men: Yes, sir!
Ted: I mean keep it dirty but--
Men: Yes, sir!
Ted to his assistant: f*re alarms, sprinkler systems, handicapped ramp, toilets?
Eddie: All up to code, Mr. Schmidt.
Ted: Any rodents or pests on the premises?
Eddie: Only the human kind, Mr. Schmidt.
Ted: All rules and regulations the correct size and clearly posted?
Eddie: Measured to the inch. Just like your jerkers, Mr. Schmidt.
Ted: Well then, Eddie I’d say we have nothing to worry about. Every detail has been checked and re-checked. Let 'em come and inspect. We, at Teddy's whack-shack, are ready for them.
[Ethan and Justin’s place]
Journalist: So how do you feel about your first concert appearance? Scared, confident, excited?
Ethan: Definitely all of the above.
Journalist: You know, it's quite a remarkable achievement for someone so young, and obviously so gifted to have such sudden success. I understand that until recently, you were performing on street corners?
Ethan: Well, you gotta pay the rent.
[Opening of door –Justin and Daphne come in]
Justin: What's up?
Ethan to the journalist: Hey, this is Justin, my cousin, and his girlfriend, Daphne.
They like to use the apartment sometimes when I’m not here.
Ethan to Justin and Daphne: Hey, guys, this is Alexa Scott, she's interviewing me for the paper.
Justin: Right.
Ethan: So why don't you guys come back another time?
Justin: Sure. I’ll see you later. Come on, Daph.
Ethan: Sorry about the interruption.
Alexa: Ah. Just a couple more questions. Do you have a girlfriend?
Ethan: I’d prefer not to talk about that.
Alexa: Oh... that usually means yes.
[Sit on the street]
Daphne: "Girlfriend"? What the f*ck was that?
Justin: His agent doesn't want anyone to know he's gay. He thinks it could hurt his career.
Daphne: Who gives a shit who a violinist is f*cking?
Justin: Don't ask me. I agreed to go along with it.
Daphne: You know, Brian might not have been everything you wanted in a boyfriend, but at least he never asked you to lie.
Justin: He didn't have his entire future career at stake.
Daphne: So you're going to be his "cousin"? Like anyone's dumb enough to believe that.
Justin: No one's going to know.
Daphne: Justin, you almost died coming out. How could you go back in for anyone?
Justin: I don't want to talk about it.
Daphne: But it's f*cking unfair of him to make you pretend you're something that you're not.
Justin: I said I didn't want to talk about it. So would you mind your own f*cking business?
[Silent]
[Ted and Emmett’s house]
Emmett: Can you believe those d*ke telling us how we should decorate our house? Don't they realize Laura Ashley went out with rotary phones?
Ted: Now, now. Show a little compassion. I mean, they can't help it if they're design-challenged.
Emmett: It would look stunning here.
Ted: What would?
Emmett: A chair and ottoman upholstered in dyed blueberry ostrich-skin. What do you think?
Ted: Brings out your eyes.
Emmett: Mmm. But it's too expensive.
Ted: Who cares about cost? This isn't an investment, it's a home. It's our home.
Emmett: Mmm… This must be a fairy tale 'cause I married a prince.
Jen: Whoops! Sorry, guys. I'm just here to report, the house inspector's doing just fine. No major problems so far. Knock wood.
[Rapping on door]
Jen: Well... [Jen open the door]
Sunny: Hi, I’m Sunny! Sunny reed. Actually, it's Susanna. But ever since I was a baby, they called me sunny, I guess just because I always have the sunniest smile on my face.
Jen: Oh... I... I’m Jennifer. Ever since I was a baby, they've called me Jennifer.
Sunny: Well, welcome to the neighbourhood. I just know you're going to love it here.
Jen: Oh, thanks. I’m just the realtor; I’m not the new owner.
Ted: That'd be me. Ted Schmidt.
Sunny: Hi, Ted! Sunny! Sunny reed. My husband and I just live next door. Welcome to the neighbourhood. I brought you a caramel cake. I’m famous for my caramel cake. But don't worry, Ted. I’ll share the recipe with Mrs. Schmidt. Where is Mrs. Schmidt?
Emmett: That'd be me.
Sunny: Then you're--?
Emmett: That'd be us.
Sunny: Well, isn't that interesting? Well, I just know you're going to love it here. Everybody does. We just have the best schools and churches, and everybody babysits and looks out for each other's kids.
Jen: Well, that sounds like a very friendly group of people, doesn't it, guys?
Ted: Very.
Emmett: Friendly.
Sunny: In fact, it's a tradition that we host a cocktail party for our new arrivals. Nothing formal, just a little..."hi, welcome to the neighbourhood" kind of thing. So, how's Friday at around 6:00, just right next door?
Ted: Well, thank you Sunny.
Sunny: Such a lovely house. The Harrises, they just had the most exquisite taste. Early American furniture and oriental rugs... Well, I should go. Oh, your cake! Oh. See you Friday.
Emmett: See you Friday.
Ted: Bye-bye, Sunny.
Jen: Bye.
Emmett: Toodles.
Ted: There you go, Mrs. Schmidt.
[Debbie’s house]
Debbie: Jen said that Ted and Emmett’s new house has tonnes of curb appeal.
Michael to Ben: Like you.
Vic: Although why those two would want to live around a bunch of breeders is beyond me.
Ben: A lot of us are moving on up these days.
Vic: I’ll take Liberty Avenue.
Debbie: Oh, shit!
Michael: What?
Debbie: My good ring just fell behind the fridge.
Michael: Your good ring?
Debbie: Yeah, the one I got on the TV show.
Vic: From the Joan rivers collection.
Debbie: And don't say a f*cking thing against her. I like that she's got a big, dirty mouth that gets her in trouble.
Michael: I wonder why.
Debbie: Someone give me a hand.
Michael: What... ma. Wait...
Debbie: Someone give me a hand here.
Ben: Debbie, Debbie. Hold. Let me do that, all right? You're gonna hurt yourself. All right.
Debbie: Can you see it?
Ben: Uummm... This?
Debbie: Yes! Oh, my hero. Oh. Now that's what I call a real man.
Vic: We could've done the same.
Michael: Yeah, with a forklift.
Debbie: Thank you.
Ben: Okay. Well, I better go wash my hands.
Debbie: Has Ben actually gotten bigger since the last time I saw him?
Michael: Yeah, well he's been working out a lot lately.
Vic: And it shows.
Debbie: Mmm. what's his secret?
Michael: You know, protein shakes, low-carb diet, stuff like that.
Vic: Does "stuff like that" include steroids?
Debbie: Is that what he's doing?
Michael: He says it prevents wasting.
Vic: Wasting? He’s built like a brick shithouse.
Debbie: The stuff is poison. For one thing, it makes you meaner than cat piss. And for another--
Michel: For another, it's none of your concern. If that's what Ben needs to do to stay alive and healthy, then that's all that matters.
Vic: Can't argue that if that's the only reason.
[TV spot – Jim Stockwell]
“I'm Jim Stockwell, police chief and coach of my son's basketball team. There was a time when you could send your kids to the park, before sex and drugs were available on every corner. As a crime fighter and a parent, I’d like to see those times again. I know you would too. Vote for me for mayor, and let's make Pittsburgh family-friendly once more.
[In Vangard agency]
[***]
Dominic: You gotta be kidding.
Nancy: it's a music video, not a campaign advertisement.
Dominic: There's no way we're going to run that.
Nancy: It's practically obscene, revealing his body like some sort of sex object.
Brian: What do you think sells corn flakes?
Gardner: There is a strategy behind all this. When we'll air the spot, on which programmes—
Brian: Those with a strong female demographic, ages 18-34.
Jim: All right, do it.
Nancy: Jim, you can't--
Jim: But if you turn me into a joke I’ll f*cking have your balls.
Gardner: If he turns you into a joke, I’ll f*cking give them to you.
[Ted’s place]
[Humming of Hair dryer]
Ted: Em?
Emmett: Hi, hon, I’ll be right out.
Ted: The new "traviata" just came out. Can't wait to hear it.
Emmett: Oh yeah?
[Chuckling]
Emmett: What's so funny?
Ted: What, are you planning on going straight again, or is this some kind of bizarro, cross-dressing practice you engage in when I’m not around?
Emmett: I was just putting together an outfit for the neighbours' party.
Ted: Well, you'll fit right in.
[Chuckling]
Emmett: Oh, oh, and check this out. It's my new colour scheme for the living room. Mocha walls, chocolate mohair couch, and, charcoal tweed club chairs.
Ted: Oh, it's very smart, very sophisticated, but not very you. I mean, what happened to the plum carpet, the raspberry sofa, the casaba melon pillows?
Emmett: Peach.
Ted: Oh.
Emmett: Well, I hate to admit it, but you know, maybe Mel and Linds were right. It was too fruity.
Ted: Uh-huh. so, instead we get assimilationist-beige, blend-right-in-brown and make-no-waves-grey.
Emmett: I just figured that since we're leaving Liberty Avenue, maybe it was time we left certain other things behind too.
Ted: Like our colour scheme, our self-respect? I mean, whatever happened "to f*ck 'em all" Honeycutt?
Emmett: Back in Hazlehurst, I used to look up at those houses on the hill, you know, where the right people lived? And dream that one day, I would live there too. And now that my dream is finally coming true, I... I just... I don't want people thinking th--
Ted: That we're the f*g next door? Well, that's what we're going to be no matter what you do. And if they don't say it to our face, they'll say it behind our backs. Wait there.
[Distant wailing Of sirens]
Ted: This is what the well-dressed q*eer will be wearing on Friday night.
Emmett: I love that shirt. Isn’t it so cute?
[At Gym – Ben paying for his steroids – Brian watching all]
Ben: Perfect. All right, man. Thank you. I appreciate it. [Ben to Brian] I didn't see you.
Brian: Guess not.
Ben: You don't usually, uh, work out this time of day, do you?
Brian: Not usually.
Ben: Look, it's not what you think.
Brian: I think it's exactly what I think. Michael told me he was going to talk to you.
Ben: Huh. Yeah, well he did. And he understands.
Brian: Well, that's Michael. Always understanding.
Ben: Why don't you just mind your own business?
Brian: If it was just you, I would. As my dear old dad used to say, you're three times seven. But it's not just you. You're taking him down with you.
Ben: I do not need to be lectured by the biggest whore in Pittsburgh. You are f*cking
lucky you're not positive.
[Ethan’s place]
Ethan: You all right?
Justin: Sure.
Ethan: Really? It was the interview.
Justin: No. I don't give a shit about that. Huh, Daphne was pretty pissed of passing me off as your cousin.
Ethan: Well, come on. I had to think of something.
Justin: Is this how it's going to be from now on? Lying, playing games. Now you're going away.
Ethan: To Harrisburg for one night. It's not like I’m going on a world tour.
Justin: That's next.
Ethan: I wish. Look. Who knows what's going to happen? I could b*mb, and that'll be the end of it. But if this works we could have this amazing life. I was thinking, we could buy a farmhouse, with a studio, and a practice room.
Justin: You dream big.
Ethan: Why not? Doesn’t cost anything.
Justin: God, you're such a romantic.
Ethan: I hate that you're not going to be there with me.
Justin: Not as much as me.
Ethan: How am I going to perform without my muse?
Justin: You'll do fine. Besides, you always said I was distracting.
Ethan: Don't you know I was playing just for you?
[Brian’s loft]
Michael: You're not ready. Well, come on. Get dressed. You don't want to miss all that hot male action. What's the matter with you?
Brian: This.
Michael: How'd you get that? What? Did one of your sex partners get carried away?
Brian: No, one of yours. Your boyfriend practically stuffed me into a locker.
Michael: What? How come?
Brian: Well, it seems I said something about his steroid use he took objection to.
Michael: Why'd you say anything at all?
Brian: Um... Because it's undignified for a university professor and not-so-best-selling author to be seen making drug deals in a locker room.
Michael: You saw him?
Brian: Yeah. And now I’ll be forced to sit at home, not wearing my most fabulous new sleeveless shirt to Babylon.
Michael: I’m really sorry.
Brian: Yeah, like that makes up for the fact that I’ll be scarred for life.
Michael: Well, you can tell people you got it duelling.
Brian: I thought you were going to talk to him.
Michael: I did. He said it's something he needs to do.
Brian: Ben needs more muscles like I need another cock.
Michael: He said he's aware of the side effects.
Brian: Like practically m*rder his lover's best friend? Well, if you're cool sleeping with your eyes open and a hatchet under your pillow, that's your business. Just keep him the f*ck away from me.
[In the street in front of Ethan’s place]
Ethan: Okay, I got my rented tux, my train Ticket, "Mischa". Okay, I guess that's everything. Except you.
Justin: It's okay. You’ll be back tomorrow.
Ethan: I love stiff-upper-lip goodbyes. So Mrs. Miniver.
Justin: Who's she?
Ethan: It's from an old movie. Don’t you know anything?
Justin: I'm an idiot.
Ethan: Ah, shut up.
Justin: Careful. There might be paparazzi lurking on the rooftop.
Ethan: f*ck 'em.
Children in the other sidewalk: Look! [chuckling][Mocking Laughter]
Ethan: I'll be thinking about you, every step of the way, wishing you were there.
Justin: Me too.
Ethan: You will be.
Justin: Oh god. What a cornball.
Ethan: It's why you love me.
[Closing of cab door]
[In a Bar]
Dominic: This is amazing. Just amazing.
Nancy: You've gone up eight points in the polls.
Dominic: There was even an editorial in the paper this morning.
Jim: Good or bad?
Dominic: It was mixed.
Brian: It doesn't matter as long as they're talking about you.
Nancy: And all since your commercials aired.
Brian: Yeah, all of those years of sit-ups finally paid off.
Gardner: Well, we've been getting calls about it all morning.
Jim: I just want you to know, I had every faith in you.
Brian: No, you didn't. But you took a chance anyway.
Gardner: So, uh... What's our resident genius have in mind now?
Jim on TV: I’m Jim Stockwell, police chief, and coach of my son's basketball team. There was a time...
Brian: Keep your face in the news. I'll keep your face on the screen.
Jim on TV: ...available on every corner. As a crime fighter and a parent...
[Emmett and Ted walking to their "hi, welcome to the neighbourhood" party]
Ted: Uh, come on. We're the guests of honour. It’s rude to be late.
Emmett: My intuition tells me things are not going to go well tonight.
Ted: Well, your intuition also told you Madonna was going to win the oscar for "Evita", so...
Emmett: She SO deserved it.
Ted: Look, no matter what happens in there tonight, just remember, this is what pride is all about. Why our forefathers and fore drag queens stood their ground at stonewall so that we could buy a house in a neighbourhood like this.
[Chiming of doorbell]
Sunny: Oh, there you two are! Come on in! [Sunny looking at Emmett shirt] Oh my goodness, look at that! I can't wear pastels, they make me look so dumpy. But you gays can wear anything. Such beautiful bodies. You put our husbands to shame! Speaking of the devil, my husband, Dennis. [Sunny speaking to his husband] Den, our new neighbours, Fred and Emile.
Ted: Eh, it's Ted.
Emmett: Emmett.
Dennis: Glad you could make it. We know you boys probably have a lot more exciting things to do on a Friday night.
Ted speaking quietly to Emmett: Well, actually they don't need to know about k*ller krotch nite at Babylon.
Dennis: How about a drink?
Emmett: Iwould give my left tit... I mean, my left arm for a cosmo.
Sunny: Everybody! Well these are the boys who bought the Harris house.
[Squeals of welcome]
Woman 1: Hi! I'm Dede and this is Phil. We live across the street.
Ted: Hi.
Dede: Well, sunny has told us all about you. You know, our favourite TV show is that gay
Drama. What's it called?
Phil: Gay as…something.
Ted: Gay as blazes?
Dede: That's it! Oh, we love the characters. You know, gay people have the same problems that we do.
Emmett: Isn't it amazing?
Dede: Yeah.
[Giggling]
Woman 2: We're the Mayerhoffs.
Ted and Emmett: Hi.
Mrs Mayerhoffs: You must come to the school musical. We're doing "Mame", and our 12-year-old Olivia is Mame.
Emmett: Oh?
Woman 3: Not until they come to my house for dinner. I have a cousin who's a lesbian.
Man: Big deal. My brother is a tr*nny.
Woman 3: What the hell's that?
Man: Some people are so ignorant, aren't they? [Man to woman 3] A transsexual. Right, guys?
Emmett: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's... right.
Ted: Uh, it's totally what we call them. tr*nny.
Dennis: Drinks?
Emmett and Ted: Thank you.
All: Cheers! Cheers! [Laughing]
Dede: Welcome to our new neighbours.
Mrs Mayerhoffs: Happy home-owning!
[At Ethan’s concert}
Ethan to Glen: So what did you think?
All in the hall: [Clapping]
Man 1: Just terrific.
Ethan: Thank you.
Woman 1: Thrilling performance. And you were so passionate.
Ethan: I tend to get involved with what I’m playing.
Man 1: And to step in like that, at the last minute. Most impressive.
Ethan: It was a privilege to perform, sir. Thank you.
Glen: You play your admirers almost as well as your violin.
Ethan: I didn't work street corners for nothing.
Man 2: Well done, Mr. gold.
Glen: Next time, we get a tux that fits.
Ethan: You mean there's actually going to be a next time?
Glen: I spoke with the buffalo symphony. They want to include you in their "emerging artists series."
Ethan: No shit!
Woman 2: Mr. gold? Wonderful.
Ethan: Thank you. Thank you very much!
Glen: I'll call you when I get back to New York with the details, okay?
[Justin watching Ethan having an indistinct conversation with a fan, and watching Ethan following this same fan]
[Sunny’s house]
Sunny: Cocktail frank?
Ted: Uh, it's Ted. [Giggling] Thank you, Sunny.
Den: What line are you in, Emmett?
Emmett: I work at a small gentleman's haberdashery, on Liberty Avenue.
Dede: Oh, the gay street!
Emmett: Yeah, that's right.
Sunny: Cocktail frank?
Emmett: No, thank you. But what I really want to do is be a party planner.
Sunny: Maybe you could help plan my holiday party.
Dede: And mine!
Mrs Mayerhoffs: Oh and mine!
Emmett: Oh, that would be great!
Women: Ah! [Laughter]
Ted to Emmett! And your intuition told you tonight would be a disaster.
[Chiming of doorbell]
Sunny at the door: Can I help you, officers? Is someone double-parked?
Officer 1: Uh, we were told we might find a Theodore Schmidt here, ma'am.
Officer 2: His office gave us this address.
Sunny: Our new neighbour. He's right in here.
Officer1: Theodore Schmidt?
Woman: OH...
Ted: Yeah, that's, right. Can I help you, officers?
Officer 1: You're under arrest, Mr. Schmidt.
Emmett: Arrest?
Ted: For what?
Officer 1: Contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Emmett: That's very flattering, officer. I know I look way younger than my years, but...
Officer 1: An inspection of your p*rn website establishment found an underage employee on your premises.
Ted: Uuh! No, that... that's absurd. I checked and double-checked everyone. There are no under-age employees.
Officer 1: What about Edward Stewart Malone?
Ted: Eddie? He's my assistant.
Officer 1: He won't be 18 for another 3 months.
Various: Good lord. Oh!
Ted: Eddie's 21!
Officer 2: Not according to his birth certificate.
Emmett: But, he's so tall.
Officer 1: Want to come along? Officer Norton here will read you the miranda.
Ted: Em...
Emmett: Uh, uh... Uh, thank you, Sunny, thank you, Dennis, um... Well, everyone, as soon as we get moved in, we're going... have a... a big ol' barbecue. And you're all invited. So...
Various: Oh... goodness. Oh, you just neverknow about people.
[Michael and Ben’s place]
Ben: [Vomiting]
Michael: Can I do anything?
Ben: Must be something I ate.
Michael: Or the steroids.
Ben: We already had that conversation.
Michael: It's f*cking you up.
Ben: It is not f*cking me up.
Michael: Yeah, it is. And you don't even know it. Christ, you even h*t Brian.
Ben: I did not h*t him!
Michael: Well, shoved him, made him bleed, whatever. But you can't just go around shoving people and acting all crazy.
Ben: Oh, now I’m crazy? Uh, f*ck you!
Michael: You're not crazy. You just...Sometimes you act that way.
Ben: You don't understand anything.
Michael: Understand what?
Ben: What it's like to wake up every morning and remember, "oh yeah, I’ve got this thing." Because you don't have this thing. You never have to take a mouthful of meds, never knowing when they'll stop working, Never knowing when a f*cking cough or a f*cking sniffle may land you in the hospital, because to you, Michael, it is just a f*cking cough or a f*cking sniffle! And every time I go to kiss you or suck you or f*ck you, even when we're protected, even then there's still this shitty, nagging doubt that maybe, just maybe, you could get infected. Sometimes I just think...
Michael: What? Sometimes you just think what?
Ben: What it might just be easier to be with someone who's positive.
[Michael going in the bathroom and slamming the door]
[At Woody’s Justin is alone observed by Brian]
Brian: Buy you another one?
Justin: No thanks.
Brian: Where's your fiance?
Justin: He's playing somewhere.
Brian: Well, luckily...You have this. [Brian pointing the ring]
[ *** ]
Brian: See ya. | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "03x06 - One Ring to Rule Them All"} | foreverdreaming |
[Brian’s loft – Brian is with a man who’s sucking his dick watching a p*rn movie about a judge and a criminal]
[On video]
Man 1: I’d like to see the defendant in my chambers...privately.
Man 2: Yes, your honour.
Man 1: This is proving to be a difficult case. The jury is hung, and for the record, your judge is also hung. There seems to be a big hole in your defence, and I’d personally like to probe into it a little deeper. Is that clear?
Man 2: Yes, sir.
Man 1: Will the defendant please rise?
Man 2: Yes, sir.
Man 1: Oh yeah, that's it...
[At the tribunal]
Melanie: With all due respect, your honour, $100,000 bail feels unduly harsh. The records clearly show that Mr. Schmidt has always been a law-abiding, tax-paying citizen trying to operate a legitimate business.
Lawyer: If you call an unsavoury, h*m* p*rn website a legitimate business.
Emmett: [whispering] As if that troll's never been to a p*rn site.
Melanie: Your honour, Mr. Schmidt was extremely diligent in keeping his business strictly up to code. He had no idea that his employee, Edward Stewart Malone, was a minor.
Judge: While it is this court's obligation to uphold Mr. Schmidt’s right to operate his business of choice, however unsavoury, Mr. Rollins. This court will not tolerate ignorance when it comes to the corruption of a minor. It will ensure that Mr. Schmidt is punished to the full extent of the law.
Judge: Next case.
Bailiff: The state of Pennsylvania versus Joachim.
[Outside Ethan and Justin]
Ethan: I was brilliant!
Justin: I knew you would be.
Ethan: The audience was sceptical at first. Of course, I don't blame them.
Justin: That all changed once you began to play.
Ethan: I kicked ass on the cadenza, the andante was perhaps a tad too con moto, but by the
final allegro--
Justin: The audience was transfixed, transported.
[They come into a café]
Ethan: They even gave me--
Justin: A standing ovation.
Ethan: And this huge bouquet of--
Justin: White roses. Black coffee please.
Waiter: Coming up.
Justin: I was there.
Ethan: You...were there?
Justin: I couldn't miss your debut, so I borrowed Daphne’s car.
Ethan: You drove all the way to Harrisburg? Why didn't you tell me?
Justin: I thought you'd be pissed. Besides, your agent was all over you, so I just watched.
Ethan: What did you see?
Justin: You, talking to your worshipful admirers.
Ethan: Well, you should've rescued me.
Justin: Hey, you didn't seem to mind, especially that cute guy.
Ethan: What cute guy?
Justin: The one you left with.
Ethan: Oh, him? He was a music student. He wanted to pick my brains, that's all.
Justin: That's all?
Ethan: Yeah, we talked about grad schools. I don't even think he was gay.
Justin: From where I was standing, it looked like he knew how to blow more than a trumpet.
Ethan: Sounds like you're jealous.
Justin: I'm not jealous.
Ethan: Then why would you even think I was interested?
Justin: Well, I remember another young admirer who came up to you afterwards, to tell you how amazing you were.
Ethan: Look, fans are going to want to meet me. Women, guys, they're going to want to talk, to flirt. They're going to think I’m sexy.
Justin: I noticed.
Ethan: But that's just part of the deal. We knew this was going to happen. Now, whatever the bullshit, you're the only one I love, the only one I play for.
[Debbie’s house – In the bathroom]
Debbie believing talk to Vic: Sorry, baby, I gotta pee! [Running of shower] The diner called, I have to go in early and take over for Betty. Here I just got off the late shift. [Debbie watching the newspaper] Jesus Christ. Vic, it's Ted, he's on the front page! Holy shit, they've arrested him. Vic? Vic! What’s wrong with you? You got water in your ears?
[A man opening the curtain] Who the f*ck are you?
Vic running in the bathroom: Um, morning, sis. I see you've met Rodney.
[In the street – Stockwell, Brian, Nancy and Dominic]
Jim: This p*rn bust got me a lot of attention.
Nancy: And a nice bump in the polls.
Dominic: That should give you some fodder for your next spot.
Jim: Tell me, Brian, you got any kids?
Brian; Yeah, a son.
Jim: Then I’m sure you share every parent's concern that he might come across some p*rn site like this scumbag, Schmidt, was running.
Brian; He's only two.
Nancy: The point is, Jim made a promise to the voters to make this city family friendly. He intends to keep it.
Dominic: You'll soon discover the chief's a man of his word.
Brian: I'm finding that out.
Dominic: Just look at this street. Back rooms, bathhouses...
Nancy: It's a veritable breeding ground for every form of sexually transmitted disease.
Jim: But with your help we're going to clean it up.
Nancy: And in the process, win the election.
Jim: By the way, you play racquetball?
Brian: Yeah, I love racquetball.
Jim: Good. Meet me at the athletic club, tomorrow night, about 8:00. I'll whip your ass.
[Ben and Michael in bed making love]
Ben: Oh... shit, shit shit, shit! Oh god.
Michael: Oh, did you come?
Ben: No-no-no-no, thank god.
Michael: What?
Ben: The condom broke.
Michael: Look, no. No, don't. Keep going.
Ben: What? I said, keep going. I don't care. But, Michael, you could get--
Michael: I don't care. f*ck me!
Ben: Oh... god! [Groaning] Michael! Oh, Michael. Mike--
[At the diner]
Debbie: [voice echoing] Michael... Michael? Huh! You look just like you did when you were 12 years old, daydreaming about you and Captain Astro flying off to some incredible new adventure… Or to f*ck. So where's Ben? I haven't seen him for days.
Michael: He's just got a heavy workload at school, that's all.
Debbie: Well, if it isn't Casanova! Your uncle has a boyfriend, and well hung too, at least from where I was sitting.
Vic: We've only gone out a few times.
Debbie: They had a sleep- over last night.
Michael: That's great, uncle Vic.
Vic: Try miraculous. I thought I was destined to spend the rest of my life dating my right hand.
Debbie: So when do I get to meet him with his clothes on?
Vic: I've invited him for dinner tomorrow night.
Debbie: Woo!
Vic: Thought I’d make a turducken.
Michael: What?
Vic: Turducken. You take a chicken, you stuff it up a duck, then stuff that up a turkey.
Debbie: Kind of like a three-way, but with poultry. You and Ben have to come too.
Vic: Do we have to have the entire family there?
Debbie: Well, what good's a family if we can't make you squirm?
[Ringing of bell] Man: Hey, Deb, your order's up.
Debbie: Would you lay off hat f*ck' bell? This isn't a prizefight. [Debbie speaking to Vic and Michael] Excuse me.
[Ted’s place]
[Ringing of telephone]
Ted: Thank god my mother will never see this.
Mel: Did she die?
Ted: No, she never reads a newspaper.
[Ringing of telephone]
Emmett: Hello? May I ask who's calling? One moment. It's your mother.
Ted: Hi, mom. Oh, not bad, and you? Oh, you did? Yeah, I know, it's not a very good picture. No, look...look, it's just a misunderstanding, mom. It'll all work out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll call you later... And don't forget to take your blood pressure pills. [***] She's going to need 'em.
Ted: "Gay p*rn king"? I have one lousy little website. And who do they single out? Me. God. After I was so careful to check and double-check for every possible infraction. Except for one. Eddie. There he was, the whole time, right by my side, with his phoney ID. It's a plot worthy of Puccini.
Emmett: Teddy, please, if you're not careful, you'll need your mother's medication.
Ted: Huh, I know what's going to happen. I'm going to wind up one of those eccentric convicts you read about. They're going to open my cell door 40 years from now and all the walls are going to be covered with equations and logarithms in teeny, tiny scrawl.
Mel: We're going to do our best to make sure that doesn't happen. But it won't be easy. Stockwell is out for blood. He wants to make you an example in his campaign against p*rn, drugs and sex.
Emmett: Everything we hold dear.
Ted: There must be someone you know who could pull a few strings, put in a kind word on my behalf.
Mel: Uh, there's someone we all know.
Emmett: Brian.
Ted: I'm a d*ad man.
[Michael and Ben’s place]
Justin taking about his draw: You hate it.
Michael: I don't... I don't hate it. It's just, well, I didn't picture him looking quite so...
Justin: So what?
Michael: Evil.
Justin: Well, you said the secret potion he's taking to make himself invincible has warped his mind.
Michael: Yeah, but underneath, he's still a hero, a good guy, and he will be again, once zephyr blows some sense into his head.
Ben: Hey, guys.
Michael: Hi.
Justin: Hey, Ben.
Ben: What are you two up to?
Michael: Working on the second issue.
Justin: Yeah, we're trying to come up with this villain--
Michael: It's not a villain. A fallen hero.
Justin: His name is juice pig.
Ben: Oh?
Michael: He's sort of a Jekyll and Hyde character. You know, sometimes he's charming and kind, and other times--
Justin: He's a monster.
Ben: Wonder where you got that idea. So, uh, Deb tells me that Ethan was a big h*t.
Justin: Yup, he got rave reviews and a booking with the buffalo symphony.
Ben: That is great.
Justin: I'll give these another sh*t.
Michael: Thanks.
Justin: See you.
Ben: See you, Justin.
Michael: I'll get the door. Bye. [***] So how was the gym?
Ben: Oh, did, uh, 315 on the bench press.
Michael: You could use a protein shake after that.
Ben: I'll make it.
Michael: By the way, Vic invited us to dinner tomorrow, to meet his new boyfriend.
Ben: Roy and I are working legs tomorrow night.
Michael: Well, couldn't you work legs earlier?
Ben: I teach earlier, Michael. Plus I got to make some calls for Paul’s memorial service.
Michael: I could help you.
Ben: Hey, no offence, but it's not your world.
[Mel and Linds’ bathroom]
Mel: Negative. Again.
Lindsay: Oh, honey, don't take it personally. Most women don't get pregnant their first try.
Mel: I'm not most women. I'm used to hitting a grand slam, first time out of the box.
Lindsay: You may have to adjust your thinking. The doctor told you it usually takes about ten months.
Mel: What do we do until then?
Lindsay: We could pick out names.
Mel: In the Jewish faith, you're suppose to name your first-born after your grandfather.
Lindsay: What was your grand-father's name?
Mel: Hyman.
[Laughing]
Lindsay: Oh, no!
Mel: Shh, you'll wake up Gus.
Lindsay: What's the other one?
Mel: Herman.
Lindsay: Oh, I’m praying for a girl.
Mel: Linds?
Lindsay: Hmm?
Mel: Do you suppose it's out there?
Lindsay: What?
Mel: Our kid. Waiting for us to will it into existence.
Lindsay: I never thought about it like that. Who knows? Maybe.
[Whispering]
Mel: Come on, kid. Get here.
[In the street – Brian walking to his car and Ted walking behind him]
Brian: Well, at last. My own personal stalker.
Ted: Hey, this is a beauty, Bri. First chance I’ve had to see it, you know, but then again, I've been busy, what with the new house and work and being arrested and going to jail.
Brian: Yeah, I saw the papers. That's an awful picture. I'd sue.
Ted: Yeah, well maybe when I’m in the big house I’ll study law. I'll do it myself. Listen, Bri. Look, your friend Stockwell, he wants the power that be to throw the book at me. You think maybe you could put in a word?
Brian: Which word would you like?
Ted: "Don't."
Brian: Sorry, Theodore, no can do.
Ted: Please. I'm begging you.
Brian Look, I do his television spots. I'm not the f*cking D.A.
Ted: I know, but you've got his ear. He might listen to you.
Brian: Well, you know as well as I do that would be overstepping the bounds.
Ted: Since when do you ever give a shit about overstepping the bounds? You were always the first to cross them.
Brian: It's business.
Ted: Business. Right, of course. I understand. You go off to your meeting. Don't spend another second worrying about a little pisher like me. Here. There you go. [Ignition of engine] Drive safely now. f*ck.
[At the supermarket][Focus on Justin and Daphne looking for some cheese]
Daphne: [sniff] Try this.
Justin: Smells like some guys I’ve gone down on.
Daphne: That is the grossest, most disgusting thing I've ever heard.
Justin: Thanks. I want something to go with a g*n or a merlot.
Daphne: Oh, planning a party?
Justin: For two. Celebrate Ethan’s triumphant return...
Daphne: Hail, Caesar.
Justin: And to supplicate myself at his feet for thinking he was f*cking around on me. I guess that's what comes from living with Brian.
Daphne: Okay, correction. Brian didn't f*ck around on you. You know, he was always honest, right from the start. [***] This might be nice with a rich, full-bodied--
[Still at the supermarket – Focus on Vic and Michael]
Vic: Eggplant. I mean, is this not a thing of beauty? Touch it. Stroke it.
Michael: Insert it?
Vic: I can't help it if everything's taken on a sexual connotation ever since I met Rodney.
Michael: I can't wait to meet him. I'm just..I'm sorry Ben won't be there.
Vic: I'm sure he has more important things.
Michael: Going to the gym.
Vic: He needs to spend more time at the gym like... I need asparagus.
Michael: Excuse me?
Vic: For the salad. A medley of arugula, endive, grilled asparagus and smoked--
[Back to Justin and Daphne]
Daphne: Llama. Well, that's what it says. It's made out of llama's milk.
Justin: I can't believe it. I mean, that I was actually jealous. I guess it just proves how much I love him...And I don't just mean sex either. It's more romantic. It's like Brahms or Mahler.
Daphne: Uh-huh.
Justin: I know. I sound like a great big...
Daphne: Cheeseball!
[Back to Vic and Michael]
Vic: Here, catch.
Michael: Uncle Vic, did you hear me?
Vic: Believe it or not, I can pick out produce and listen at the same time. "He’s angry, he's cruel."
Michael: He's not the same Ben.
Vic: It's 'roid rage, Michael.
Michael: I know, and I have to put up with it. I'm just tired of feeling like I couldn't possibly understand what he's going through 'cause I’m not positive.
Vic: Sounds like you're a bit rageful yourself.
[In Brian’s office]
Brian: I said no interruptions.
Cynthia: There's somebody here to see you. Says it's urgent. Mrs. Ted Schmidt?
Brian: You might have called first.
Emmett: If I had, you would've been in a meeting, right? So, this is the inner sanctum of the great god Kinney...Where men's fates are decided.
Brian: What? Did Theodore send you down here to throw yourself on my mercy?
Emmett: He doesn't know I’m here and I have no intention of throwing myself on your mercy or anything else for that matter.
Brian: What a relief! I can come out from behind the desk.
Emmett: You realize, of course, there's a very good chance he'll go to jail.
Brian: Well, tell him to look on the bright side. At least he'll get f*cked regularly.
Emmett: I suppose that's meant to be witty. We all know about your charming sense of humour but we also know that deep down, you care about us, even though you'd never admit it. Which is why I’ve come--
Brian: I already told Ted there's nothing--
Emmett: I know what you told him. I also know what you think about teddy and me, that we're just a couple of silly queens setting up house, that it'll never work. Well, there was a time when I would've thought exactly the same thing. But miracle of miracles, I have never been happier in my entire life. And you want to know why? Because he gives me love and respect. And now it is my turn to give him something back. Now I swore to myself this wasn't going to wind up an old Lana turner movie, but it looks like that's the direction it's headed, so I’m going to make Lana proud. Please, Brian I am begging you. Help him.
[Debbie’s house]
Debbie: Vic cooks, I cook, all the Grassis are cooks. Nonny, uh, that was our grandmother, Nonny made cannoli that was lighter than air. Before she died, she asked me what I wanted, I said her recipe. She wouldn't give it to me. She took it with her right to her grave.
Vic: Which is why we're having poached pears with almond cream.
Debbie: Ah! And her gnocchi, well, if you've ever tried to make it, you know it can come out like b*ll*ts.
Michael: Ma. Ma, would you let Rodney talk?
Debbie: Who's stopping him?
Vic: You sort of have to dive in around here.
Michael: You were telling us how you and Vic met.
Debbie: A poz men's group.
Rodney: At a poz men's group.
Vic: We saw each other across a crowded room.
Rodney: I didn't even want to go, but some friends of mine convinced me that I should meet some positive men.
Michael: Why's that?
Rodney: I'd been dating negative men for a while and it never seemed to work out. No matter how hard we tried, they could never really understand what it was like living with this thing and with vice, there's no need to explain. We already know what each other's going through. Instead of separating us, it brought us closer together.
Vic: Of course, not everyone who's positive feels that way.
Rodney: You mind if I ask, are you--
Debbie: No, he isn't, but his boyfriend is.
Rodney: Oh, I’m sorry. I never meant to say that you--
Michael: It's...it's okay. I’m... I’m sure there're a lot of things I'll never understand but it's not for a lack of trying.
[Brian and Jim playing racquetball]
Jim: Woo! Don't you know you're supposed to let the boss win?
Brian: Why would I do that?
Jim: Some people might say it's smart.
Brian: Yeah, well, some people are stupid. Why would you trust me if I let you win?
Jim: Score another point.
Brian: Besides, I don't like to lose.
Jim: That makes two of us. You want to check out the steam room?
Brian: Love to.
Jim: I asked the D.A. to fast-track the Schmidt trial in time for the election. I was also thinking we should do a TV spot with a bunch of school kids, on the dangers of p*rn.
Brian: Yeah, the ad's a good idea. Keep the family-guy image alive but there's not much I could do with this trial.
Jim: It's all over the news.
Brian: Yesterday's news.
Jim: That's why I want you to keep it alive.
Brian: You know, it's like selling last year's model that everyone's already seen it. Besides, it's not like you arrested O.J. That guy's a bug. He's a schmuck. He didn't even k*ll anybody.
Jim: But if we could get a conviction--
Brian: Ah, that would be the worst thing, and your opponent will accuse you of going after some small-fry to get the free publicity, the press'll turn him into a martyr. It's like my dear father used to say, if you're going to pick on someone, pick on someone your own size.
Jim: So where do we go next?
Brian: Well, I’d suggest the showers.
Jim: You coming?
Brian: Yeah, in a minute.
[Ethan’s place]
Justin: To the New York phil.
Ethan: And the London phil, and the Vienna phil, and the Berlin phil and the quick, name another phil.
Justin: Phil Farnsworth? We were in the seventh grade together.
Ethan: To Phil Farnsworth, wherever he may be. I love your mouth.
Justin: Ah? You do?
Ethan: Mm-hmm. Yeah, you have the most perfect lips.
Justin: Swallowing.
Ethan: Of course, I love the rest of you too, but when I was in that hotel room the other night, alone, jerking off...
Justin: You were touching yourself? You didn't call me?
Ethan: I was imagining you kissing me all over. [Justin starting kissing at Ethan] Sweet tendah kisses...
Justin: And then I went down on your hot, hard cock...
Ethan: Oh-h.
[Knocking on door]
Ethan: Oh, who the f*ck is that, the girl scouts?
Justin: I'll tell them to f*ck off.
The man of the concert: Hi, is Ethan here?
Ethan: What're you doing here?
The man: I wanted to see you again, so I so I drove in.
Ethan: Well, you shouldn't have. I think you better go now.
Justin: No, wait. He came all the way from Harrisburg. It's a long drive. Believe me, I know.
The man: Oh yeah? You his roommate or--
Justin: I'm his muse.
[Michael and Ben’s place]
Ben: What're you sitting in the dark for?
Michael: Waiting for you.
Ben: Told you, I was working out.
Michael: Legs, I know.
Ben: Oh, so, what's Vic’s new boyfriend like?
Michael: They're so alike, it's uncanny.
Ben: What same interests, same temperament?
Michael: Same disease. They're both positive.
Ben: Oh.
[Michael holding in hid hand Ben’s syring]
Ben: Where'd you get that?
Michael: I found it wrapped up in the garbage.
Ben: Michael... Michael, I’ve... I’ve used it. Just put it down.
Michael: You know, seeing Vic and his new boyfriend, that really made me think, you know? Maybe you're right. Maybe you should be with a poz guy.
Ben: No, no, no. I was upset when I said that. I didn't mean that...
Michael: Maybe that poz guy should be me.
Ben: Michael, please!
Michael: Please what? All it would take is a quick jab in a vein and be over in a flash. I'd hardly feel a thing and then I’d be just like you.
Ben: I don't want you to be like me.
Michael: You said you want someone who knows what you're going through, who wakes up every morning and suddenly remembers, "hey, that's right, I’ve got this thing." Who thinks every time he gets a cold or the flu, "this is it, this is the end." Who's filled with the resentment and anger 'cause he could never have kids, and who has to sh**t himself up with steroids because his lover died, and he's scared shitless he's next, and who has to drive away the person he loves, and who loves him because he doesn't understand. Well, now i will.
Ben: No, please, please, don't. For god's sake, stop!
Michael: No, you stop. Stop using this shit. Stop hurting yourself. Stop hurting us.
[Dropping of syringe][Closing of door]
[Ethan’s place]
Justin: "I want to be with someone who only wants to be with me. Someone I can be with forever." A crock of shit.
Brian: I meant it.
Justin: Yeah, I’m sure you did the second you were saying it.
Ethan: Christ, look what you're doing to your hands.
Justin: Oh, so f*cking what? You're a liar!
Ethan: I didn't want to hurt you.
Justin: That is so laughably, so pathetically lame i am not even going to comment on it! Try something else.
Ethan: I was covering my ass.
Justin: That's better. Go on.
Ethan: I was alone, you weren't there.
Justin: Now it's my fault.
Ethan: That's not what I mean. I missed you.
Justin: So you... since you couldn't bear to be without me for one f*cking night, you decide to pick up some...drooling admirer?
Ethan: Basically, yes.
Justin: So tell me, Mr. gold, as a last minute replacement, how'd he do? Did he kneel at your feet and worship your huge talent? Did he marvel at your magnificent fingering? Did the way you stroke your bow leave him breathless?
Ethan: It was one stupid mistake! Look how many times you forgave Brian.
Justin: I never forgave Brian! I never had to because he never promised me anything. You did.
[Justin takes off the ring and puts it under the table]
Ethan: I need you. I don't know what I’m going to do without you.
Justin: I'm sure you'll survive. After all, you still have your music. It's the only thing you ever really loved.
[Ted’s and Emmett’s place]
Emmett: Even if worse comes to worse and you have to go to jail, it won't be so bad.
Ted: How do you figure that?
Emmett: You'll have time to read and work out. It'll be like a spa vacation.
Ted: Oh yeah, I hear the prison guards do a great herbal body wrap, and the chefs prepare a fabulous light cuisine.
Emmett: I'll come to visit and we'll make mad, passionate love. I doubt the state pen allows gay conjugal visits.
Emmett: They did in this film I saw.
Ted: Which one was that?
Emmett: "Jeff Stryker does hard time".
Ted: Look, Em, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but life, at least as I know it is over.
[Knocking on door]
Ted: Oh my god, it's the police. They've come to get me. They've come to get me.
Emmett: No, no. It’s... No...
Mel: Hey!
Emmett: Hey. He’s...
Mel: Oh, Teddy! Hurry up, get dressed. We're late.
Ted: For what? Where're we going?
Mel: The D.A.'s office. They're willing to accept a plea bargain. You plead guilty to the charges, and they won't seek a prison sentence.
Emmett: Oh my god! Oh my god, that's wonderful! Isn't that wonderful, Teddy?
Ted: I…I can't believe it. How did you convince them?
Mel: I didn't. I guess you must have friends in high places.
Ted: You don't suppose Brian... Naw, that's impossible.
Emmett: Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. You know how forceful your powers of persuasion can be.
Mel: Don't rejoice yet. They're going to slap you with a f*ck of a fine. You're also going to have to shut down the website.
Ted: Forever?
Mel: You do anything even remotely connected to p*rn again, even buying a f*cking naked greeting card, the D.A.'ll slam you to the wall and screw you standing. Now put your pants on.
[Ben and Michael’s place]
Ben: Didn't mean to wake you.
Michael: I was already up. I didn't get much sleep.
Ben: Yeah, me either.
Michael: So who told you to sleep on the sofa?
Ben: Well, after what you said, I--
Michael: I meant it.
Ben: Look, baby, I’m going to have a hard enough day, going to Paul’s memorial, seeing all those guys with their sunken cheeks.
Michael: At least they're still alive, and so are you.
Ben: I've decided to stop using the steroids.
Michael: Good for you.
Ben: They are counter-productive to my healing.
Michael: Why don't you just say they've turned you into a raving shit?
Ben: All right, they have turned me into a raving shit. I'm sorry.
Michael: Thanks. You're apologizing for the wrong thing.
Ben: Well, what then?
Michael: You're the brainy professor. You figure it out.
Ben: Okay, I’m sorry for saying that I should find someone who's positive. That was the drugs talking.
Michael: No, it was you. Don't make excuses. If that's what you want, then do it.
Ben: It's not what I want. I want you.
Michael: At 9:00 o'clock on Tuesday morning? What about 10:00?
Ben: I will feel the same at 10:00, and 11:00, and 12:00.
Michael: You're really going to stop?
Ben: I already have. Now, why don't you get dressed and come with me?
Michael: It's not my world. I don't belong there.
Ben: You belong with me.
[Liberty diner]
Brian: Someone didn't sleep at home.
Justin: What are you, a detective?
Brian: No, it's just the same stunning ensemble you wore yesterday.
Justin: I spent the night at Daphne’s, if it's any of your f*cking business.
Brian: Do I detect a discordant note in love's tender refrain?
Ted: Hey, Deb, can I get some coffee?
Deb: Coming right up, honey.
[Clearing of throat]
Ted: I've been, thinking of a way to say this without sounding maudlin and hence incurring your wrath, so I’ve decided to delete any references to loyalty, friendship, responsibility, and being one's brother's keeper and go with a simple "thank you."
Brian: Who said I was buying you lunch?
Ted: I'm talking about saving my life.
Brian: Oh. That. That was nothing.
Ted: Which is exactly what Mel says I’ll be worth by the time they get done with me. But better "hard up" than "hard time".
Debbie: Here you go, Teddy.
Ted: Thanks, Deb. Well, good news. I won't be going to jail. Thanks to a friend.
Debbie: Oh, that's wonderful. Oh honey, I’m so relieved. Oh, god, that's on the house!
Brian: Just don't flatter yourself. I didn't do it for you. I did it to protect my client.
Ted: Of course. How could I have been so presumptuous?
Debbie to Justin: I'll never figure out why he does that.
Justin: You mean act like a total shit?
Debbie: When it's obvious he just saved Teddy's ass.
[Mel and Linds’ place]
Lindsay: You're not supposed to test every time you tinkle.
Mel: Says who?
Lindsay: You have to let Mother Nature take her course in her own sweet time.
Mel: Oh! It's easy for her. She’s already a mother.
Lindsay: All right. I'll let you have your fun with chemistry and go make dinner. Sloppy Joes okay? Mel?
Mel: Don't worry about putting the buns in the oven.
Lindsay: What? Oh my... god. It's...[Gulping] It's blue.
Mel: You're damn right, it's blue.
Lindsay: Well, this means you're—
Mel: You got it.
Lindsay: Are you sure this is accurate?
Mel: Oh, better be, or else I’m going to sue the panties off that company.
Lindsay: This is unbelievable. First time out of the box.
Mel: Told you. Don't f*ck with Mother Nature, huh? Well, I’m here to tell her, "don't f*ck with me."
[Ted’s office]
Emmett: What do you want to do with all these?
Ted: Mmm? Oh, uh...thought I’d donate them to charity.
Emmett: You can get a write-off.
Ted: Yeah, somehow, I don't think I’ll be needing that now.
Emmett: Oh my god! Look! It's my revolving bed, from when I was a big star.
Ted: You still are. It's the dicks that got small. I never let anyone else use it. It retired when you did.
Emmett: God, it brings back so many memories. The G.I. Joe jerk, construction worker whack.
Ted: God bless the village people. True visionaries.
Emmett: So you, care to take her for a little spin?
Ted: No, I can't. I got too much to do.
Emmett: Please, Teddy? Come on, one last time? All right, boys. Start 'er up! Here we go!
Remember, you gave me my p*rn name.
Ted: "Fetch Dixon". Name of your favourite pet and the street you grew up on.
Emmett: You know, you never told me yours.
Ted: "Millicent Kensington". [Ted starts to cry]
Emmett: Oh, it's all right, baby. You cry. You cry all you want.
Ted: You know what I’m most upset about?
Emmett: No more "rim-a-rama"?
Ted: That we had to give up the house. I really wanted you to have that.
Emmett: Honey, your saying that means more to me than living in it.
Ted: Yeah, not quite.
Emmett: Listen. Where I come from, we had tornadoes all the time. They'd blow the roof off, destroy everything. We always looked at it as a chance to rebuild, you know, make things better. So the business is gone. So the house is gone. So every cent you ever made is...
Ted: Yeah, yeah, I got it. I got it.
Emmett: The point is, it doesn't matter. We still have each other and together, we are going to be just fine.
[At Babylon]
Brian: That's a Montecristoespecial smuggled from Cuba, so stick it in your mouth and suck.
[Michael trying to smoke] If that's any indication of your technique, it's amazing you have a boyfriend.
Michael: I'm still in shock. We made a baby after just one try.
Brian: It's f*cking depressing, all right. Your sperm actually liked Melanie’s eggs. Ugh. Well, I guess there's no accounting for some people's tastes.
[Clearing of throat]
Brian: Easy, Mikey.
Michael: I don't think I can do it.
Brian: What?
Michael: Be responsible for another life.
Brian: Did I ask you to?
Michael: Not you, assh*le. The kid.
Brian: Job's done. From here on out, the l*zzie's do all the work. All you have to do is show up for birthday parties and the occasional walk in the park.
Michael: I don't intend to be a drop-in dad like you. I want to be involved, a real father if I can just figure out how.
Brian: You're going to be a great dad.
Michael: What makes you so sure?
Brian; You raised me, didn't you? Look how I turned out.
[In the backroom at Babylon – Justin and Brian look at each other] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "03x07 - Stop Hurting Us"} | foreverdreaming |
[We opens with a drag queen, Shanda Leer, singing “What I Did for Love”.]
Shanda Leer:
# Kiss today goodbye,
And point me t'ward tomorrow.
We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for...#
[Cut from Shanda Leer to Brian and Justin at the loft. Brian is going through the mail.]
Brian: Shit! It’s that time of the month again.
Justin: When your little friend comes to visit?
Brian: When every gay charity on the f*cking planet tries to h*t me up for a table at their benefit or an ad in their booklet or a sperm sample for their silent auction. Unfortunately, it’s also that time of the month for my credit card bills.
Justin: I’ve never seen so many zeroes.
Brian: Except for a mixer at the Gay and Lesbian Center.
Justin: How are you gonna pay for them all?
Brian: How many blowjobs can you give in an hour?
Justin: Not enough. Not nearly enough.
Brian: I guess I’ll have to come up with the cash some other way.
Justin: Look, we sold almost 3,000 copies of Rage last month on the ‘net last month alone. I could give you some -
Brian: No.
Justin: Why not?
Brian: (laughs) I’m not taking your money.
Justin: I thought we were partners.
Brian: We are.
Justin: Then why won’t you let me give you the money?
Brian: ‘Cause I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help! What I need is –
[he walks over to the liquor cart and picks up an empty bottle. Cut to the bar at Babylon, where Brian’s ordering a drink.]
Brian: Chivas Regal!
Justin: You may be a pauper, but you drink like a prince. (to the bartender) Make it two. On me.
Brian: Keep it.
Justin: You won’t even let me buy you a drink?
[They clink glasses.]
Brian: I can still afford to tie one on without any assistance from you.
[Brian takes Justin by the arm. They continue their conversation in the backroom.]
Justin: Brian, I don’t know what the f*ck your problem is. You help everyone! Liberty Avenue would be a police state if it wasn’t for you. And now, when you need help - Hey Todd, how’s it going?
[Todd get f*cked in the backroom of Babylon - like in Season 1 and Season 3]
Todd: Fine!
Justin: (momentarily confused) Where was I?
Brian: Umm... When I need help?
Justin: Right. You won’t take it. You wanna know why that is?
Brian: Pourquoi?
Justin: Because you always have to be the one in charge. The one who’s in control, the one who’s on top.
Brian: Mmm-hmm. You got it.
[He turns Justin around to face the wall and pulls down his pants.]
[And a big fat Bronx cheer for Rita Montgomery, who shows up in the next scene to thr*at Ben.]
Rita: So where is he this time? Huh? Movies, Little League?
Ben: Look, I told you --
Rita: Yeah, yeah, I know, you don’t have a clue. Like I believe that!
Ben: I don’t care what you believe. He took off. It’s not exactly the first time he’s run away, is it? So I’d say it’s safe to assume he’s back on the streets.
Rita: What about your little boyfriend? Huh? He doesn’t seem to be around either!
Ben: He’s gone to find him. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a class.
Rita: Oh, and I have a custody hearing on Tuesday. And if Jimmy’s not there, I’m gonna have the cops all over your little boyfriend’s ass! You hear me? Cause keeping a kid away from his mom? That’s called contributing to the delinquency of a minor. And if he took him, that’s called kidnapping. I could have him arrested.
Ben: You wouldn’t do that.
Rita: You’re a smart guy, Professor. You figure out how many years your little sweetie’d be locked up for.
[Back to Mel & Lindz. Mel’s going through the mail which is full of solicitations for fundraisers.]
Mel: Angels over Pittsburgh, the Suizzies Hotline, Transgender Shelter. Jesus we must need money to go to all of them.
Lindsay: Look, I get it to.
Mel: If we get any more, somebody’s going to have to throw us a benefit.
[Enter Emmett, looking pretty chipper, all things considered.]
Emmett: Hi girls. I would love to smu, but I get slip into a hot bath and dressed and out being five.
Lindsay: Got a hot date?
Emmett: From your lips to the gay gods ears. No, Vic and I invent a fundraiser for HIV positive.
Mel: Another benefit, when does it ever end?
Emmett: Well if we don't take care of each other, who will?
[Then he notices a rather droopy orchid on the table]
Emmett: Honey, Ted had an orchid who look just like that. He used to tell them Droopy.
Mel: Say hello to Droopy.
Emmett: What are you doin' with it? Lesbians are notories by having her own farns.
Mel: He called us to take care of his mail...
Lindsay: ... and take care of his plants.
Emmett: He off to the Black and Blue party in Sardinia?
Mel: He is in rehab.
Lindsay: He checked himself in. We though about visit him.
Mel: How about coming with us?
Emmett: I can't - benifit.
Mel: It must not be tonight.
Emmett: I'm really busy.
Mel: I'm sure he can use our support.
Emmett: What an interesting thing coming from you, Mel! You were the first to condemn him and now you’re his cheerleader.
Mel: He’s trying to help himself.
Lindsay: Isn’t that what you wanted?
[Cut to Mikey and Hunter in a motel room somewhere out in Nowhere.]
Michael: Think you can leave on something longer than 1 second?
Hunter: What different would it make? It's all shit!
Michael: Borrow me your chips.
Hunter: To eat? With Captain Crunch? The chips are sealed.
Michael: I had a whole bag on...
Hunter: So how much longer we have to stay here?
Michael: You see what's goin on outside? It's practically a monsoon.
Hunter: Why we head up to Mexico? Go and become a drug lords. What do you say?
Michael: Why do I bother?
Hunter: Well, you came up with some brilliant plan.
Michael: Better soon, we ran out of cash fast.
Hunter: You have a credit card.
Michael: When I use it they can track us.
[Mikey’s cellphone rings. Hunter grabs it.]
Michael: It's Ben.
Hunter: Dude! What’s up?
Ben: Hey, pal. How's goin'?
Hunter: We’re stuck in a sh*thole motel in the pouring rain down to our last Cheeto, but other than that, life is beautiful.
[Mikey grabs the phone back.]
Michael: Ben?
Ben: Michael? Michael, are you ok?
Michael: Fine. We're both fine.
Ben: Listen, Hunter's mom came by again.
Michael: What you tell her?
Ben: That he ran away and you looking for him and... she didn't believe me. Now, she's running that you arrest it.
Michael: For what?
Ben: Kidnapping. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Michael: Can she do that?
Ben: All I know is, she can make a lot of trouble for all of us. That is why you have to come back.
Michael: I told you, I’m not gonna let her take him!
Ben: You can’t just hide out forever!
Michael: I’ll be OK.
Ben: Please. Tell me where you are.
Michael: I don’t want you to get into trouble or hafta lie.
[Hangs up]
Ben: Oh, dammit, Michael! Mike - Michael?
Michael: (to Hunter) Where you going?
Hunter: To get us something to eat before we starve to death!
[Hunter strides off into the pouring rain leaving Michael leaning in the motel doorway.]
[Lunchtime at the Diner. Brian, Ben, Mel and Lindz are in a booth. Justin is in the booth behind Brian. Debbie’s wearing a “f*ck Yoga” t-shirt.]
Debbie: It’s three days, three f*ck’ days and not one f*cking word!
Lindsay: Deb, I got the tuna melt.
Ben: And I got the turkey wrap.
Debbie: Except for this strange, cryptic message, “Don’t worry, Ma, I’m alright!”
Justin: Doesn’t sound strange or cryptic to me!
[Brian laughs.]
Debbie: Well, you’re not a mother!
Ben: I just talked to him, Debbie, and he’s alright.
Debbie: He’s not alright! A mother can always read between the lines! It’s the first time since Michael learned how to pick up a phone that we haven’t talked three times a day!
Justin: (incredulously) Three?
Brian: I know, it explains so much.
Debbie: Ben, honey, next time you talk to him, would you please tell him I love him up to the sky and back.
Ben: Sure, Debbie
Debbie: - and if he’s not back here pronto, I’m gonna rip his balls off!
Mel: I make a few phone calls about that custody hearing and we see what I can do.
Ben: Thank you, that'll be great.
[Deb hands out the checks to everyone but Brian.]
Brian: Hey Deb, where’s mine?
Debbie: Don’t you worry about it, honey, you can settle up later, after you’re back on your feet, baby.
[Brian grabs everybody’s checks, ignoring their protests.]
Brian: Lunch is on me.
Justin: Brian.
Brian: Isn't it allowed to treat me friends?
Lindsay: Brian, it's okay.
Mel: We can handle it.
Ben: Yeah, as soon as you get another job.
Brian: By 4:30 this afternoon, I intend to be reinstated at my former position and with a sizable raise.
Justin: Vance asked you back?
Lindz: Brian, that’s great!
Brian: I’m gonna try and be gracious about it for as long as I possibly can, then I’m gonna stick it to the f*ck. Keep the change, Deb.
[Shanda Leer.]
Shanda Leer:
# There'll be a change in the weather
And a change in the scene
How is that?
I'm gonna start wearin' leather
And change my routine
[We cut to Ted. Ted speaking to Group at the Rehab Center - Blake is sitting at his side.]
Ted: I uh, crashed... and cames out for three days. When I came to me the party still goin'. The party was always goin' on. The guys were downstairs, watching p*rn. And they were really into it. It was hot. So I go down. And that's when I saw the guy in the video... the guy who's goin' gangbanged... [long pause] It was me. That's how I uncontroll I was. God knows if they were using condoms. I don't know, I'll have to take a test. I don't feel very optimistic. That's when I knew if I didn't come here I could be d*ad.
[After the meeting. Ted and Blake walk out into the hall together.]
Blake: I know how hard that was for you. Just remember, nobody was judging you, because we’ve all been there.
Ted: Well, your being there made it a whole lot easier. In fact, I keep thinking, if all this hadn’t happened, if I hadn’t come stumbling through that door, we might not ever have seen each other again.
[Blake doesn’t say anything, but his expression seems a bit strained.]
Ted: So, you wanna grab some lunch?
Blake: Yeah, lemme just check my messages and I’ll meet you in the lounge.
[Blake leaves to go to the cafeteria. Ted glances over at the front office and Emmett is standing there. Steeling himself, Ted puts on his game face and goes over to greet Emmett.]
Ted: Well, this is a surprise! Thought they outlawed shock therapy!
Emmett: Hello, Teddy.
Ted: How did you find me? I hope I didn't end up in the paper again.
Emmett: No, Mel and Linds says you checked yourself in.
Ted: I knew they couldn't keep their mouth shut.
Emmett: I’m happy - if that’s the word - that you’re here.
Ted: Nothing like a little R&R at a cozy little B&B!
Emmett: So - how long are you - uh -?
Ted: Not long, not long at all. Feeling good as new already. They tell me I’m making remarkable progress.
Emmett: Glad to hear it. Just be careful. You don’t want to rush it or -
Ted: Or what?
Emmett: Nothing.
Ted: Or I’ll wind up using again, is that what you were gonna say?
Emmett: All I meant was, be careful not to take the cupcakes out of the oven till they’re done!
Ted: (sarcastically) Well, isn’t that profound! In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a cupcake. OK? And I have no intention of winding up back here, in the losers’ lounge.
Emmett: I didn’t come here to upset you.
Ted: Then why did you? To see for yourself how far I’ve sunk?
Emmett: No.
Ted: I told Mel and Lindsay I didn’t want anyone visiting!
Emmett: Since when am I anyone?
[Enter Blake, carrying a tray of lunch. There’s a strained silence.]
Ted: Blake, you remember...?
Blake: Emmett? Of course.
Emmett: Back again or haven’t you ever left?
Ted: Blake isn’t a patient. He’s a substance abuse counselor and a damn good one!
Emmett: Well, if anyone knows his stuff, it’s you!
Ted: He’s been amazing. I don’t know what I would’ve done if he hadn’t been here.
Emmett: Well, I just came to make sure you’re alright and it seems like you are - so -
[Shanda Leer sings “Cry Me A River.”]
Shanda Leer:
# Now you say you’re sorry
For being so untrue– #
[Brian and Gardner Vance.]
Gardner: You look great. Whiskey?
Brian: Little bit early for happy hour.
Gardner: You’re here - I’m happy. So did you hear the news? Stockwell was indicated for the coverup of that young man’s m*rder. Mayor Deekins has demanded his resignation.
Brian: My, how the mighty have fallen.
Gardner: Damn lucky for Vanguard he didn’t bring us down with him.
Brian: Mmm-hmm
Gardner: So...name your price!
Brian: For what?
Gardner: To come back, of course! We need you here. I need you here!
Brian: I don’t know, Gardner. It’s not just a matter of the money. There are - other issues. A Jacuzzi in my private bathroom. An unlimited expense account. Loyalty!
Gardner: I give you my word. And my handshake.
[Gardner sticks out his hand. Brian hesitates, then shakes it.]
Gardner: Now I just need you to sign this.
[He whips out a paper. Brian skims it, then laughs.]
Brian: Non-competition clause.
Gardner: It’s just a formality.
Brian: So this is why you wanted me back? Afraid I was gonna raid the pantry? And here I thought it was me that you didn’t want to lose!
Gardner: You’re not giving yourself enough credit.
Brian: I’m giving myself ALL the credit. I brought in ALL of the major accounts. I created their campaigns. I convinced the world they couldn’t live without their products. And they would leave with me faster than a ten second spot. But if I sign this, they’d all be off-limits. I wouldn’t count my clients before they’re snatched!
[Brian walks out.]
[Cut to Michael, talking to the cashier at a truck stop diner.]
Michael: He’s 16, he’s tall, skinny, he’s got long, dirty blond hair, he’s got a bit of an attitude.
Cashier: I haven't seen him. Sorry.
[Mikey walks out into the parking lot just in time to see Hunter getting out of the cab of an 18-wheeler.]
Michael: Hunter! Where the f*ck have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you!
Hunter: C’mon. Dinner’s on me. (He waves a bill in Mikey’s face.)
Michael: Where did you get that? How many truckers did you have to f*ck to get it?
Hunter: Just one! And it was only a blowjob.
Michael: (sarcastically) That’s a relief. How COULD you?
Hunter: How could I what? We’re broke. Isn’t that what you said?
Michael: OK, that’s it. Let’s go.
Hunter: (hopefully) To Mexico?
Michael: To Pittsburgh.
Hunter: No way, you promised!
Michael: I’m breaking it. Now c’mon!
Hunter: Get the f*ck off me!
Michael: Listen, you little assh*le. I risked EVERYTHING for you! Now you’re gonna do what I tell you. We’re gonna go back and fight and then we’re gonna try to turn you into a normal human being which - at the moment? Flapping my arms and flying to the moon seems like a better bet. MOVE IT!
[They’re going back to Pittsburgh.]
[Meanwhile, back at the rehab, Ted is scrubbing floors. Blake approaches just as Ted is sniping at somebody for messing up his floor.]
Ted: What do they think I’m doing this for, MY HEALTH?
Blake: Actually, you are.
Ted: I wonder if they made Elizabeth Taylor do this.
Blake: Absolutely. In her diamonds.
Ted: Well, maybe I’d feel better about it if I was wearing a 600 carat choker!
Blake: I’ll pick one up for you while I’m out.
Ted: Sorry. Just feeling a little -
Blake: Upset?
Ted: Constipated, actually
Blake: I know what you’re going through. It wasn’t that long ago I was going through it myself.
Ted: Yeah, I know. I remember bringing you here and I came back to see you and -
Blake: And I was gone. It wasn’t very nice of me.
Ted: It was f*ck’ shitty. I cared about you. I more than cared about you.
Blake: I know. I know - that’s why I had to leave.
Ted: (sarcastically) To spare me the pain?
Blake: And myself. From you seeing me that way.
Ted: Well, now it’s my turn. I’m down on my hands and knees, scrubbing the floor. While they all come and gawk so they can feel superior - like Emmett!
Blake: I’m sure he felt just as uncomfortable as you did.
Ted: It takes something like this for a person to reveal his true colors, huh? At least I have you. And you’re the only one who knows how it feels, what it’s like.
Blake: (Slightly uncomfortable) I have to go.
Ted: A hot date?
Blake: Actually, yeah. We’re going to see “Lucia”.
Ted: Oh, that’s nice. I didn’t know that you like opera.
Blake: Thanks to you, I’m hooked.
Ted: Well, at least that’s one addiction you don’t have to go to rehab for, right?
[Next scene: Hunter, Mikey and Ben’s reunion. Hugs all around.]
Ben: [to Michael] I missed you so much.
Michael: Me to.
Hunter: Hey, what about with me?
Ben: Come here, pal. You behave yourself?
Michael: He was a perfect angel.
Hunter: I was a perfect dangel.
[Michael returns the car to Brian. It looks like he drove it to Afghanistan and back. Brian is not pleased.]
Brian: At least it’s still in one piece.
Michael: You’ll be happy to know Hunter and I are both OK, too.
Brian: (picking up a wrapping) What’s this?
Michael: Burger box.
Brian: You ATE in my car?
Michael: We were in a hurry to get home. We didn’t wanna stop.
Brian: So you turned my car into a recycling bin. Christ! It’s like that time in the 7th grade when I lent you my brand-new ten speed. You brought it back, The front fender was crushed, my seat was torn -
Michael: I was h*t by a bus!
[Brian is like - “and your point is?”]
Brian: Well, this is the last time I ever loan you -
[Michael interrupts him with a kiss.]
Brian: What was that for?
Michael: For giving me the wheels for no good reason other than - you love me.
Brian: You're pathetic and so is this car. I haven't enough time to get washed. How do I look?
Michael: Like a million bucks!
Brian: Don’t sell me short. Wish me luck!
Michael: You don’t need it.
[Shanda Leer sings]
Shanda Leer:
# But I can't see a thing in the sky
'Cause I only have eyes for you #
Brian: Because I consider you to be my most important client...
Because I regard you as my most valuable account...
Because no one’s close personal friendship means more to me than yours...
Brian: I wanted you to be the first to know...
I’m starting my own agency!
Woman: That's great news, Brian.
Men#1: Well, congratulations, Brian.
Men#2: Way to go, partner.
Brian: It’s a big step, I know,
...but I’m confident that by focusing on a small,...
select list of clients,...
I can still provide the same innovative campaigns you’ve come to expect...
but with the personal attention only a boutique operation can offer.
Woman: Sounds like a hell of a plan.
Men#1: If anyone can pull us off Brian, you can.
Men#2: I like what I'm hearing, partner.
[Dinner Chez Novotny. Ben, Michael, Vic, Deb and Hunter.]
Debbie: Wanna pass the suice, sweety?
Michael: Sure, mom. [whispers to Ben] She's pissed. She's waiting for the right moment to whapp me.
[It knocks on the door. ]
Debbie: Right there!
Vic: Well, you sit down and finish eating. Look who's here.
Debbie: Jesus Christ, what the hell are you supposed to be?
Mel: I'm Mother Superior.
Lindsay: And I'm Friedrich.
Vic: I can only dream what perverse go on on your house.
Ben: Let me guess. The theme was "Sound of Music".
Lindsay: It was a benefit.
Mel: Hunter, I mean Jimmy. You sure to cash?
Debbie: You short of cash, honey? Vic, get the tea kettle.
Lindsay: No, it has to come from Hunter.
Hunter: What for?
Mel: I can represent you by the hearing to pay me before the relationship is official. So, what do you say?
Hunter: f*ck, yeah.
Ben (to Michael): See I told you we should do this the right way.
Deb: Yeah, instead of running off without telling your mother!
[She smacks Mikey upside the head.]
Michael: (to Ben) I told you!
Ben: [laughs] Yes, you did.
[Brian and Justin are sitting at the bar at Woody’s.]
Justin: By the time you’re done decimating his client list, Vance will be asking you for a job!
Brian: We’ll see.
Justin: Stop being modest.
Brian: I was aiming for smug.
Justin: How do you like the name I picked out for your new agency?
Brian: Kin-net-ic.
Justin: With two “n’s.”
Brian: That’s clever!
Justin: It’s genius!
[They smile at each other. Brian pulls Justin close and hugs him.]
[Emmett is also at Woody’s sitting alone at a table, looking morose.]
Guy: Excuse me but if no one’s sitting here, I was wondering -
Emmett: I’m very flattered you should ask, so don’t take this the wrong way - but f*ck off!
Guy: I was gonna ask you if I could borrow the stool - assh*le!
[Brian and Justin approach Emmett’s table.]
Brian: Buy you a drink?
Emmett: (not looking up, starts the same spiel) Look, I’m very flattered you should ask, don’t take - (looks up) Hello, boys.
Brian: Sorry, I mistook you for my friend, Emmett Honeycutt.
Justin: We’re going to Babylon, wanna come?
Emmett: I’m not really in the mood for men, muscles and music. I’d rather stay here and get shitfaced.
Brian: You passed shitfaced about ten miles back.
Emmett: So I’ve had a few cocktails! Does that qualify me for rehab? Besides, I’ve already been there!
Justin: Did you see Ted?
Emmett: And you’ll never guess who’s there with him!
Brian: Liza?
Justin: Robert Downey Jr.!
Brian: Ben Affleck.
Justin: Matthew Perry.
Emmett: Blake! The tweaked out twinky! Isn’t that great?
Brian: Well, some assholes never learn!
Emmett: Oh, no no no, he’s learned! He’s even gotten a degree! He’s a drug abuse counselor! A few days in Dr.Boytoy’s care and Mr. Schmidt’s as good as new! Let’s have a drink to his remarkable recovery. Shall we?
[Ben/Michael Sex scene. In their bedroom. Ben starts teasing Michael by playing with one of his hotspots.]
Michael: Stop it. You get never enough? That'll make three.
Ben: Got I missed kissing you, holding you. What?
Michael: You are so beautiful.
Ben: You're kinda cute yourself.
Michael: Sometimes I wonder why you love me.
Ben: What are you talking about?
Michael: I feel like a such an idiot, running off with Hunter. I should stay here like you've said. Instead putting everybody into "Mikey and Hunter's Excellent Adventure." It wasn't cool, it was so immature. And what kind of message will give that to a kid?
Ben: Well, what you're do was incredibly.
Michael: It was?
Ben: Not only I do admire you for all the balls to do it. I'm actually a kind of jealous.
Michael: Jealous?
Ben: Mmmh, how you broughed you home. I wouldn't call that immature. I would call that...love.
[Justin lets himself into the loft. Brian has a visitor. It’s - Jennifer!
Jen: It’s a special place.
Brian: Special as in unique, fabulous, one-of-a-kind or special as in there are schools where they can teach them to dress themselves?
Justin: Mom.
Jen: Hi, honey.
Brian: Hi, honey!
[They smile at each other.]
Jen: I mean special as in it’s for a certain kind of person, a person who has no children, who’s single, a person who - let’s face it, Brian, it’s a f*ck!
Justin: Mom. What are you doing here?
Brian: So how much do you think I can get for it?
Justin: Get for what?
Brian: I’m selling the loft.
Justin: What?
Brian: It was either cut my expenses or cut my wrists, so I just opted for the tidier of the two.
Jen: Listen, I’ll call you later with some comps. We can set a price. (To Justin) Bye darling ...and I won’t be charging commission. After all you’ve done for Justin, it’s the least I can do.
[Exit Jennifer]
Justin: You’re not selling your loft! It’s your home.
Brian: Not for long.
Justin: I thought you were starting your own agency, that your clients were gonna go with you.
Brian: Yeah, well, they turned me down. The best laid plans of mice and ad men.
Justin: There has to be a better way. A loan!
Brian: $100,000 in debt and unemployed? I’m not exactly a very good risk.
Justin: Get a job at another agency.
Brian: Yeah. I do have an offer. It’s in Scranton. It’s at half my salary.
Justin: Christ. You never should have listened to me.
Brian: I didn’t. I listened to me. Besides, it’s just four walls and a floor. And top of the line appliances and stainless steel countertops and imported Italian fixtures and -
Justin: It’s more than that. It’s where we made love for the first time.
Brian: That wasn’t love. I just gave you a rim job and f*cked your brains out.
Justin: It was love to me.
[Cut to a hungover Emmett sitting in Deb and Vic's kitchen, flinching as Vic is cracking crab shells with a mallet.]
Emmett: Vic? VIC! Do you have to do that?
Vic: I guess we gave give our guest a claw and a straw or they can suck to be out.
Emmett: All we need is a a dwell or a g*n.
Vic: Someone had to many last night. How about I wash the greens gently? Where is the f*cking strainer? I can't find a thing in this g*dd*mn kitchen!
[Deb goes through the mail.]
Debbie: What's the matter with my g*dd*mn kitchen?
Vic: We had all when we are over to Ted.
Debbie: Then go to Ted's!
Vic: We can't go to Ted's?
Emmett: Would you please...? Make a list and I get everything up.
Debbie: [mouth to Vic] What's wrong with him?
Vic: [mouths back] Ted.
Debbie: Open a new Q-Mart. Fundraiser for the Senator. Christ, another one? Oh, look Vic, you got a postcard - from “Michaelangelo.”
Emmett: That must’ve been lost in the mail a long time.
Vic: Actually, it’s somebody I met at a “faerie gathering.”
Emmett: The Tony Awards?
Vic: It’s a group of gay men who get together to rediscover our spirit of joy -
Debbie: - and get laid in the bushes.
Vic: Michaelangelo isn’t his real name. It’s his faerie name. We all have one. Mine was -
Debbie: Cherub!
Vic: I went right after I was diagnosed. I was devastated. I didn’t know how I was going to go on. So I swallowed my skepticism. It turned out to be one of the most healing experiences of my life.
Debbie: You know honey, maybe that’s what you need.
Emmett: Running around in the woods with a bunch of fairies? Thanks, but I’ll stick to Advil.
[Cut to Justin with Mel and Lindz, who’s pushing Gus in a stroller.]
Lindsay: [reading the headlines] "Stockwell indicted." Seeing a headline like that restores my faith in humanity.
Justin: We all have Brian to thank.
Lindsay: Well, he’s the Wizard of Oz!
Justin: There wasn’t any wizard. There isn’t any Concerned Citizens for the Truth. Brian paid for that commercial against Stockwell himself.
Lindsay: What?
Mel: You’re kidding!
Justin: Now he’s $100K in debt. He has to sell off everything he owns, even the loft!
Mel: I never dreamed I’d be saying this, but I wish there was something we could do.
Justin: I tried offering him the money I made from Rage but he wouldn’t take it.
Lindsay: He’s too proud for that.
Justin: So what are we supposed to do? Stand around and watch while he loses everything?
Lindsay: It’s his choice.
Justin: It’s his choice? That’s it? I thought you cared about him.
Lindsay: I do! But I also know Brian would never be beholden to anyone.
[They go on walking.]
[Cut to Courtroom scene. Rita and her lawyer square off against Ben, Michael, Hunter and Mel. ]
CHL: You have in front of you, Your Honor, a copy of Mrs. Montgomery’s social worker’s report, psychological evaluation, testimony from her new employer, lease for her apartment rental and an approved credit card application.
Hunter: Did they include a Girl Scout badge?
[Mikey, Ben and Mel shush the impudent youngster.]
CHL: Hopefully after reviewing these documents, Your Honor will concur that Mrs. Montgomery has taken admirable initiative in overcoming severe hardship so that James may be returned to her care.
Hunter: Mind if I heave?
Mel: [shush to Hunter] Don't say another word. Your Honor, I don’t mean to diminish Rita Montgomery’s admirable initiative, but you’ll also find another set of documents, including her arrest for s*ab her husband, testimony from neighbors recounting her repeated drug abuse, as well as a statement from her own son describing how she forced him from the age of 12 into acts of prostitution.
Rita: That's not... that's not true!
Hunter: The f*ck is it.
Judge: Young men, please allowed your lawyer speek for you. That's what she's being paid for.
Hunter: Yeah, a buck.
Mel: Now she wants him back. I contend that Rita Montgomery is unfit to be James’ mother. It would be detrimental to his physical and emotional well-being to be returned to her so-called care.
CHL: Your Honour, May I...?
Judge: No, Mr.Landby, we're not. I'll be examine the documents in my chambers. I call a 15 minute recess.
Officer: All rise!
[Emmett returns to Ted’s apartment to get pots and pans.]
Emmett: Strainer. Strainer.
Ted: Under the sink...
[It comes from the living room.]
Emmett: Jesus, f*cking Mary and Joseph! You scared the shit out of me!
Ted: Sorry.
Emmett: Since when are you back? Vic needed some things and -
Ted: Don’t mind me. Just take whatever you want.
Emmett: What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in rehab?
Ted: Rehab? I left.
Emmett: Kudos to your counselor. Must be the fastest cure on record.
Ted: Well, with the cost of health care these days, they don’t like you to linger too long. In fact, they’re thinking of putting in a drive-through window. You don’t think that’s funny? Drive-through window?
Emmett: Yeah, Teddy, a real scream. I don’t know when I’ve had more laughs than with you.
Ted: Well you must feel real good that the last one’s on me. How I’ve managed to totally f*ck up my life?
Emmett: Sorry! Don’t plan pity parties!
Ted: I’m not asking for your pity. I’m just stating a fact.
Emmett: Well, then here’s another one. You’re not gonna get better sitting on the sofa. So why don’t you take your sardonic wit and your superior “I’m not like those other losers” attitude and get your ass back there!
Ted: So they can fix me? It’s too late. I’m beyond repair. I have nothing. No future, no friends, no job, no lover, what’s the point? I might as well be d*ad.
Emmett: Then do it.
Ted: What?
Emmett: I said, then do it. Go on, k*ll yourself. You’d be doing us all a favor. Only don’t be a man about it. Be a queen.
[Emmett turns on the stereo.]
Emmett: A little mood music. Here [hands Ted a letter opener] - it’s not quite a dagger, but it’ll do in a pinch. Go on! You can finally be Maria Callas. Plunge it in your heart like Tosca!
Ted: Tosca didn’t s*ab herself, she jumped off a roof!
Emmett: Even better. Feel free to scream or sing as loud as you want. Because nobody’s listening.
[Emmett flounces out. ]
[Now back to the courtroom for Hunter’s custody hearing.]
Judge: Having reviews all the documents there is no doubt Mrs.Montgomery that alcohol and drugs abuse as well as violiated homelife made you fit to give your son a proper care he deserved. Still there is an indication that you made break free from your past. It is also my overwhelming personal feeling that a child should belong where it's matched to their parent as long as the parent can't prevent a safe enviroment. This court is willing to giving you a second change by granting the custody of James. [to Hunter] I hope you will also give your mother a second chance.
Hunter: It's no way helling to give her that.
Judge: If you don't, young men, I'll be forced to hold you even contempt. This court is ajourned.
Mel: I'm so sorry.
[Rita comes over, trying to talk to Hunter.]
Rita: Jimmy, I promise everything’s gonna be better from now on.
Hunter: Sure would, mom.
[Hunter kisses her on the mouth. A big wet one.]
Hunter: I forgot to tell you - I’m HIV positive.
Rita: It's not very funny, Jimmy.
Hunter: It’s true - ask them!
Ben: It’s true.
[Rita wipes her mouth.]
Rita: You f*cking dirty little f*g! What the f*ck - you’re trying to give it to me?
[The judge, who must realize that she f*cked up.]
Judge: Miss Marcus, Mister Landers, may I see you?
[Cut to Brian and Justin walking down Liberty Avenue.]
Justin: My mom told me there’s someone who’s interested in buying the loft.
Brian: A couple of designer fairies who can’t wait to turn it into a Moroccan bordello.
[They stop in front of Woody’s.]
Justin: Hey, let’s grab a drink.
Brian: Nope - better read the fine print. Another f*cking benefit. Wonder what the worthy cause is this time? Send a tr*nny to summer camp?
Justin: C’mon.
[Inside, Shanda Leer is singing.]
Shanda Leer:
# What I Did for Love.
What I Did for Love. #
Brian: Some suckers just cannot wait to give their money away.
Justin: It's for a worthy cause.
[Vic with his boyfriend Rod ney, Deb, Em, Ben, Michael, and yes - Hunter too!, Lindz and Mel. ]
Brian: What the f*ck’s going on here?
Lindsay: We’re having a little fundraiser for a very special organization. Perhaps you’ve heard of them? Concerned Citizens For the Truth? You see, they’ve made a very significant contribution to our community. They’ve helped us. And now we hear they’re in need of - well, a little help themselves. So we, the community, would like to give something back. It may not be all that they need - but it’s a start. We’re hoping you’ll accept this on their behalf.
[Applause. Lindsay hands Brian an envelope. He hesitates.]
Lindsay: C'mon, open it.
[Brian looks around, then opens the envelope. There’s a little smile on his face, but he’s also clearly struggling with his pride. He’s obviously touched, but something in him resists the idea of a “handout.” ]
Brian: Umm..I’ve only known the Concerned Citizens for the Truth for a short time but I’ve known them long enough to know that they don’t like to accept handouts - charitable donations. But I guess this time I’m just gonna have to tell them that once in a while we could all use a little help and they’re just gonna have to swallow their f*cking pride and say - thank you.
[His voice breaks a little on the “thank you.” More applause. Hugs all around.]
Shanda Leer:
# It’s Gonna be a Great Day
# Angels in the sky
Promise that be by and by
There's gonna be a great day
Hunter: The night’s still young. Whaddaya say we h*t some after-hours clubs?
Michael: Excuse me, young man?
Ben: You’ve got school tomorrow.
Hunter: Christ, don’t tell me you’re gonna turn into my goddam parents.
Mel: Hey, you heard what the judge said. You can live with Michael and Ben provided you stay on your best behavior.
Lindsay: And we’re gonna keep an eye on you just to make sure you do.
[Also leaving Woody’s: Deb, Vic and Emmett.]
Debbie: Well, I knew I’d live long enough to see gay marriages, but I never thought I’d live to Brian Kinney accept help - and say thank you!
Vic: I thought I even saw a tear in his eye. [to Emmett] Didn't you?
Debbie: Honey, what's wrong? That famous flame of yours is just about out.
Vic: What you can need a gentle sprinkling of Fairy Dust.
[Brian and Justin.]
Justin: Hey Shanda, the charity was great tonight.
Shanda: It's what I do for love.
Justin: Now you and half of gay Pittsburgh can sleep soundly in your bed tonight, knowing the loft is still yours.
Brian: Half of gay Pittsburgh can sleep soundly in their own bed.
[He kisses Justin on the cheek. But then - we see Darren, a/k/a Shanda Leer, leaving Woody’s.]
Man#1: Hey, here comes on.
Man#2: Hey f*g!
[Gay bashing just out of earshot of all our boyz and girlz - who walk along in ignorance of what's happening so close to them. Intercutting scenes of our cast laughing, unawares - and of Shanda Leer's earlier performance with clips of Darren being h*t and kicked. Finally, Darren is left unconscious on the ground as the episode closes - no music playing, just the sound of the street, traffic, etc.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x01 - Just a Little Help"} | foreverdreaming |
[Darren's (a/k/a Shanda Leer's) apartment. His arm and foot are in casts. His face is battered, bruised and swollen. His eye looks really gross. Justin has brought him some food from the diner.]
Darren: Better not be a parakeet in there, Jane!
Justin: Huh?
Darren: Obviously you're not up on your gay film history. Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Starting the two greatest bitch goddesses in the history of the human race, Miss Joan Crawford and Miss Bette Davis. 'Miss Crawford and I neeever got along.'
Justin: I neeever saw it!
Darren: I suppose there's no point in even mentioning Esther Blodgett.
Justin: I know that one. It's A Star is Born, right?
Darren: Oh, thank God! He really is gay!
Justin: Eat.
Darren: No, thanks.
Justin: It's tuna salad, not parakeet.
Darren: I'm not hungry.
Justin: You're gonna need your strength.
Darren: For what? The doctor says I might have a permanent limp. That should brighten up my act!
Justin: What are you listening to the doctors for? After they stuffed my brain back in my head, they told me I'd never draw again.
Darren: Well, do you?
Justin: Yes. For about 15 minutes, then my hand starts to shake. So I use a computer. But the point is -
Darren: You went on!
Justin: Right. So will you.
Darren: You're so reasonable. I keep hoping when they catch my bashers, they'll sentence them to life in prison and they'll get f*cked nightly by prisoners with AIDS.
Justin: That's gruesome!
Darren: It doesn't cost anything to dream! When it happened to you, weren't you angry?
Justin: I tried not to think about it.
Darren: I can't stop thinking about it. I see their faces, their boots smashing into me. I even hugged this one guy's foot to my stomach, hoping it would stop him from kicking me. It didn't.
Justin: If you're still holding onto that boot, then you're still on the ground, taking it. Forget about it.
Darren: Listen, if you'd been reduced to jerking off with your left hand, you'd want him d*ad, too!
[Darren laughs. Justin smiles and shakes his head.]
[At the diner, Michael is whining about pain from an impacted wisdom tooth.]
Debbie: What's the matter baby? Tummy-ache?
Ben: What is it, Michael? Migraine?
Michael: Impacted wisdom tooth.
Debbie: But you've have them all extracted.
Michael: Emmett doesn't know that. What possessed me? Why did I ever agree to go with him?
Debbie: Because you're a goodhearted human being who would do anything for his friend.
Michael: Because I'm a lame-brained doormat who doesn't know how to say now!
Ben: It'll only be a couple of days. They're supposed to be a very empowering and enlightening experience.
Michael: Well, if they're so empowering and enlightening, why don't you go?
Ben: I have classes. There's Hunter - anyway, Emmett asked you, not me.
Michael: I'm not going. No way. No way.
[Enter Justin, back from his visit with Darren.]
Justin: (to Debbie) Darren asked me to thank you for all the food you sent him.
Debbie: I'll get what I can do.
Ben: How's he doing?
Justin: I'm afraid it's gonna be awhile before Shanda Leer appears in public.
Debbie: Well, at least he has one ray of sunshine in his life!
Ben: Tell him we'll miss him at the Center tonight, but we're gonna make sure this never happens again.
[Justin leaves, Emmett comes in. At the sight of Emmett, Michael starts to launch into his sick act. Emmett sits down at the booth with Michael and Ben.]
Debbie: Are you ready to find your inner fairy?
Emmett: I do. I just feel like Thinkerburt and Captain Hook.
Michael: Em, I -
Emmett: Before you say anything, as we all know, I've been going through some really tough times lately. I guess you could say my headlights are on low beam. But if this faerie frolic will turn the brights back on, well - what the f*ck. I'll give it a try.
Debbie: More power to ya, sweetheart.
Emmett: Whatever happens, the important thing is, I will always always be grateful that your son - your boyfriend - my best pal could be there with me, offering his love and support. (getting all choked up).
[Deb and Ben give Michael pointed looks. Mikey's cornered and he knows it.]
Michael: Well, we'd better get a move on. Otherwise these faeries won't get their wings.
Emmett: Bye, honey.
Debbie: Bye. Bye, honey. [she waves with her wings.]
[Meanwhile, back at the rehab center, Ted's in group therapy. Once again, Blake is leading the group.]
Ted: So it was actually a good thing I left here that night. See, my condo needed dusting and I don't really trust my cleaning lady and uh... It gave me time to think about where I should be and what I should be doing. So I came back. Although it hasn't been easy and every day's been a challenge -
Blake: But you did it.
Ted: And now it's time for me to leave with clear eyes and my head held high. I guess that's what happens when you have a great counselor. And your health insurance runs out.
[That gets a laugh. Then one of the other patients mutters something.]
Blake: What'd you say, Jonathan?
Jonathan: You'll be back.
Ted: Sure, for group, as an out-patient.
Jonathan: I mean back using. And then back here.
Woman in group: Jesus, Jonathan, can't you be positive?
Jonathan: It doesn't mean I have to laugh at Billy Crystal here doing his stand-up. It's not gonna be any different for you than it is for the rest of us.
Ted: You're wrong.
Jonathan: You'll find out soon enough. It's not the same world you left when you came here.
Ted: I'm gonna be alright. I'll make sure of it!
Jonathan: Well, just in case - we'll leave the light on for ya.
[Cut to naked Brian and Justin in bed. Brian is lying on the bed. Brian is on the phone. As he's talking, Justin comes over and shakes his wet hair on Brian. Brian grabs him and pulls him down on the bed.]
Brian: It's an interesting offer.
Headhunter: "It's a first-rate company, Mr. Kinney. You'd fit right in."
Brian: Interesting in that they think I'd actually agree to it. Two-thirds of what I was previously making, a lesser title, and no profit-sharing until the fifth year.
Headhunter: "Times are tough, Mr. Kinney. It's a job."
Brian: You mean indentured servitude .
Headhunter: "So you're passing?"
Brian: You can tell them I've just taken a new position. Bye-bye. (Hangs up).
Justin: I can't believe you just did that.
Brian: Flipped you on your back?
Justin: Flipped off that headhunter.
Brian: I can do better.
Justin: Doing what?
Brian: Working for myself instead of other people.
Justin: But all your clients turned you down.
Brian: f*ck 'em. I'll get others.
Justin: What if you can't? You'll be destitute. You'll have nothing.
Brian: (laughs) Since when did you turn into a Jewish mother? Or Michael?
Justin: You're just taking an awfully big risk, that's all.
Brian: Well, what's one more? Besides, if I don't do this now, I never will.
[Michael and Emmett at the faerie gathering. They're in the woods. There are lots of naked men wandering around in weird costumes.]
Emmett: Something tells me we're not in Pittsburgh anymore.
Michael: Something tells me we're not on the planet anymore.
[They're greeted by a faerie who introduces himself as Periwinkle]
Periwinkle: You two must be virgins!
Emmett: I haven't been a virgin since I was 15.
Periwinkle: Well, maybe out there but in here, your life as a faerie has just g*n! I'm Periwinkle - the Queen Registrar and Official Greet-ar.
Michael: Periwinkle?
Periwinkle: It's my faerie name. Every when you has one...
Emmett: It's strong about real names.
Periwinkle: Real names are fine for the real world but this is a special place. This is a magical place were you leave your real life behind. At least for a little while. So, take your time, get some cloth. So get settle in to your cabin, dinners coming up. Oh, there is a middle massage in the year. You don't miss that.
Michael: See?
Emmett: If we back up slowly, no one will know we were there.
Michael: Hey, you dragged me here. We're staying. What's the worse that could happen?
Emmett: That?
[He's looking at two naked men walking together holding hands in the woods with paintings of lizards, etc on their bodies.]
[Slings & Eros, a shop specializing in adult toys.]
Brian: We'll start with a new logo, launch an aggressive ad campaign with the locals and set up some high-profile sponsorships.
Trainer: That sounds bigger than we can handle.
Brian: It's simple branding.
Trainer: Our customers aren't into branding. Tattoos, piercings maybe.
Brian: I'm talking about a new image.
Trainer: I adore makeovers, but our ad budget's only $200 a month.
Brian: (Grimacing) Great! Then we'll run a lean campaign. No fat!
Trainer: Just like our customers. Perfect!
[Brian looks like he's getting a headache.]
[Ted is leaving the rehab. Blake, of course is seeing him off.]
Blake: Just between us, around here we refer to Jonathan as D&G.
Ted: Dolce & Gabbana?
Blake: No, doom and gloom.
Ted: He doesn't bother me.
Blake: That's good. To be honest, he's not entirely wrong. A lot of patients do wind up coming back here.
Ted: Not me.
Blake: That's good. Just remember what we talked about.
Ted: Give myself time to adjust.
Blake: Not just you, but people in you life are gonna need some time, too.
[They get to the front door.]
Blake: Here we are.
Ted: I never thought I'd be so scared to see a door.
Blake: Don't think of it as a door. Think of it as a threshold to your life.
Ted: Right. Well, I want to thank you for everything.
Blake: You don't have to thank me. You did it all.
Ted: With your help. Listen, I was wondering if I could well, give you a call sometime. Strictly on a professional basis. If I suddenly find myself standing on a ledge with a rope around my neck or something.
Blake: Or maybe just to say hello.
[Ted nods. Blake writes down his digits. Ted gives Blake a hug.]
Blake: Good luck.
[Ted walks over the threshold of the rest of his life.]
[Cut to Cynthia, Brian and Justin at the loft. Cynthia takes a poster out of a portfolio and holds it up.]
Cynthia: Recognize this?
Brian: Yes. Remsen Pharmaceutical account. My last campaign.
Justin: Before the old warrior was unceremoniously escorted from the building, without so much as a ballpoint pen.
[Brian mouths the words along with him]
Justin: So what does this magic pill do?
Brian: Well, it's guaranteed to turn you into a hottie. You can climb the Matterhorn. It also reduces your viral load. What are you showing it to me for?
Cynthia: Vance is taking your idea and pitching it to Remsen tomorrow.
Brian: Well, he should. He owns it.
Justin: But you thought it up.
Brian: Basic rule of advertising and eternal damnation: once you sell your soul to the Devil, he holds the copyright.
Justin: So come up with another idea.
Cynthia: Then you can steal the account from Vance and your former assistant along with it!
Brian: Well that's an ingenious plan, Cynthia. But what pharmaceutical company is going to trust their wonder w*apon to a one - man band working out of his house?
Justin: It's not the size that matters!
Brian: Have I taught you nothing?
Justin: It's the vision! If you can win this account, then you'll be back on top.
Brian: For once, I'll stick to the bottom.
[He picks up the Slings & Eros sign as he speaks.]
[Back to wacky wonkers in the woods - or Camp Faerie Peri is showing Em and Michael the layout of the camp.]
Periwinkle: You have to draw up your civilian dress to become true faeries. So the magic doesn't work. [He's taking yellow ball gown an say to Michael] You looking enchanting in this.
Michael: Strapless makes me look fat.
Periwinkle: Well then use your own talents to come up with something fabulous. Every faerie has a god given gift to take odds ugly and makin' in something beautiful. You'll soon discovered when you can do. So, I really must fly. I wait for you at candleling. If you care to join me, it down by the River.
Emmett: Where is the book?
Periwinkle: Make a way to the yard.
Michael: When I agree to come here with you, I didn't agree to look like my mother.
Emmett: Well, maybe Periwinkle's right and we put something on and feel the magic.
[Emmett wearing a green turban and animal print dress. Michael in a sleeveless denim jacket red plaid mini skirt! ]
Emmett: We look like Virginia Maye in "Sweet Woman". You know just let's forfeit their registration fee, and go home?
Michael: Now you tell me? You look completly and ugly...
men#1: Hot.
[Two men come out of nowhere.]
Men#2: Totally hot.
Michael: It's just something I picked off the rack.
Piston: I'm Piston.
Wolfen: And I Wolfen...
Michael: I'm... Dumpling.
Piston: Hello Dumpling.
Wolfen: See ya later, Dumpling.
Emmett: Dumpling? Were you get that?
Michael: It's suddenly came to me.
Men#3: Yee, yah, wanna play?
[They play naked volleyball!]
Michael: This must be the naked bubbly ball game.
Emmett: You're intuition are remarkable.
[Michael immediately runs to check it out, while Em stays behind by his own choice.]
[Cut to the GLC. Ben is leading a community meeting about Darren's bashing.]
Ben: Thank you for you all to coming up here. I do now the police are still working to find the mens who attacted Darren.
Melanie: In the meantime we met our contact officer who's look out for any one matching descriptions.
Ben: Keeping that in mind we're like to think how can Liberty Avenue be safer and enviroment for all of us.
Debbie: I never though I say this but the first thing we need is more cops on the street.
Mel: We're already talked to the new police chief. He said he do his best.
Man#1: Yeah, sure. We're already heared that one before.
Lindsay: Let's send a petition to the major to demending something we're done.
Man#2: We're need more lighting, especially on the side streets.
Ben: You're idea, we will take note of that.
Woman: We should wear little whistles around our necks that way if someone att*cks us, all we have to do is blow!
[There's a whistle from the back of the room. It's Cody. He's angry.]
Cody: Like that?
Mel: Would you like to say something?
Cody: Who do you think will come running? Them? They cant even defend themselves. The cops? If a bunch of h*m* haters wanna b*at the shit out of you, you're not gonna stop them by bl*wing a little whistle.
Ben: Then what do you suggest?
Cody: We protect ourselves. Patrol the streets.
Lindsay: You mean a vigilante group?
Cody: Yeah! The Pink Posse!
Mel: Isn't that taking the law into your own hands?
Cody: Which law is that? The one that says you can't get married? That if they find out you're gay, they can f*re your ass? That you can't adopt kids? Hell, they can even arrest you for f*cking!
Ben: That was changed.
Cody: Riiight. You can now copulate in Texas. Whoa, yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay!
[laughter]
Cody: You think anyone would dare call a black man a n*gg*r? And try calling an Israeli a kike! Man, they'd blow your ass right off the face of the earth. But they have no prob calling us f*g. Why? Because they can. Because they know we're all sissies, that we're too chickenshit to do anything. So go on. Sign your petitions and write your letters. And blow your little whistles. But nothing's going to change until you fight back. Until you learn to say Don't. f*ck. With. Me!
[He strides out. Justin looks impressed.]
[At the diner, Deb rushes over to show Mel and Lindz the headlines.]
Debbie: Did you see this? They actually caught the f*cking bashers!
Mel: Mmmh, it's fantastic.
Lindsay: I think it's wonderful and what's Justin worked.
Justin: It's all thanks to Darren's description.
Lindsay: I bet, he must feel relieved.
Justin: More like bloodthirsty.
Debbie: Well, we all know there's nothing more terrifying than a bloodthirsty drag queen!
[Suddenly, a voice from the not-so-distant past. It's Ted, fresh out of rehab.]
Ted: Hey Deb. How about a cup of coffee?
Debbie: Sure, honey. Have a seat... [she noticed it's Ted] Teddy, hi! How you doin'?
Ted: I'm doin' great.
Debbie: You do look good.
Lindsay: How did it go?
Ted: I just get to rehab. It was probably the most significant experience of my life. The first day I was there, I was totally resistant. Furious, ashamed, certain I didn't belong there. The second day, I started accepting help. I went to group and individual sessions at the end , sharing the pain. The third day...
Debbie: Honey, I'd love to stay for the whole seven days, but I've got a grilled cheese that's about to turn to cement. Welcome home!
[Lindz and Mel, who have been fidgeting and looking at their watches, make their excuses.]
Lindsay: I've got to get back to the gallery.
Mel: I'd love to hear more, but Gus is waiting at daycare. Bye!
Ted: OK. Bye.
[He turns to Justin, who is still there.]
Ted: Don't you have somewhere to be?
Justin: Thanks for reminding me. Welcome back!
[And Justin leaves. But wait...Brian is sitting at the counter. ]
Brian: Well, I for one think you're to be commended.
Ted: (warily) Well, thank you, Brian.
Brian: What you've accomplished is an amazing achievement.
Ted: I wouldn't go so far as to -
Brian: To sink so low, to h*t bottom with such a resounding thud!
Ted: You should be a guest motivational speaker in rehab.
Brian: Of course, the good news is, once you've h*t the bottom, you can't go any lower. So that means there's only way to go. And that way is...? Rhymes with...? (he raises his coffee cup)
Ted: Up?
[Brian pats him on the shoulder and leaves.]
[At the gym, Brian is trying to drum up more business.]
Brian: I have an corrospondation campaign with Torso. A new membership here and a 10% there and you have a box full of queers.
Trainer: Sounds like an interesting idea. I'll get back to you.
[Ben and Hunter come in.]
Brian: Batman and the new Robin!
Ben: Better not tell the old Robin that. I just got Hunter a membership.
Hunter: (to Brian) Ya wanna hook up in the steamroom?
Brian: (laughs) Ah - yeah. (To Ben) He should fit in here just fine.
Ben: We did not come here so you could h*t on the guys and that includes Brian. We came here so you could stay healthy.
Hunter: Too late for that!
Ben: No, it's never too late to get in shape.
Brian: Yeah, you want to develop that six-pack before you drink it! I can use that for the ad!
Hunter: Why work out when I can take some meds and - kapow!
[He's looking at an poster advertising an HIV med, featuring a buff guy.]
Ben: Because it's better to build your immune system naturally.
Hunter: That guy looks pretty healthy to me.
Ben: That's not what HIV looks like. And the meds don't fix anything. They buy you time if they work. And then there are dozens of side effects. Skin rashes, liver failure, cardiac arrest.
Brian: It's a little early to be freaking the kid out, don't you think?
Ben: I just don't want him believing some misleading ad that makes it seem like all you have to do is pop some pill and you're as good as new. Anybody who's ever taken one knows what a crock of shit that is.
[Ben and Hunter go off to work out, leaving Brian looking thoughtfully at the poster.]
[Back to the wild wonders of willies in the woods. Em's sitting at the water's edge, watching as two guys have at it on the opposite side of the bank. And Em's not even happy about the sightseeing opportunity. Enter Periwinkle again.]
Periwinkle: Mushrooms?
Emmett: Sure. Why not?
[Em eats one. And what fallows is view after view of a hallucinating Honeycutt, wandering in distraction through the flora and fauna of Mother Nature's backyard. Finally he runs out and sees an older man who's busy putting rocks into a circle - for a group bon f*re to be held that night.]
Ariel: Looking for the naked twister competition?
Emmett: All other I looking for.
Ariel: And how about giving me a hand here?
Emmett: What are you doin'?
Ariel: Important work.
Emmett: Moving rocks?
Ariel: Depends on why you're moving on? Hey, help my place them in a circle. You a new faerie, aren't you?
Emmett: Aren't here, suppose I am.
Ariel: What's your name?
Emmett: Emmett.
Ariel: I don't mean your real name. Back there I'm Harry, but here I'm Ariel. So, what's your faerie name?
Emmett: I don't though about one.
Ariel: What stoppin' ya?
Emmett: I don't know.
Ariel: I do. You don't believe in fairies. You think this is all nonsense, don't ya?
Emmett: No, I don't! Really. [Pause] Yeah, I do.
Ariel: Well, maybe you stop thinking that way and the faerie spirit comes to you. But somehow I doubt it. You see, I can always tell you, you are not one of us - a proud faerie.
Emmett: I have want to be a very proud faerie. Ask anyone who knows me! My flame burns bright.
Ariel: Right now it wouldn't toast a marshmallow...
Emmett: It maybe a little low.
Ariel: I guess you be hurt by someone you loved. Now all you can feel is anger and pain.
Emmett: How do you know?
Ariel: The way you though like that aren't fit. Which isn't by the way very flattering.
Emmett: Thanks.
Ariel: Hey, give me that.
Emmett: Very strong for a...
Ariel: ...old faerie? It's called faerie power. It's giving to you to survive. Sometimes we forget we have it. That's why the catering was start it. To help us remember, to celebrate.
Emmett: What a aim to renew my spirit with a little working.
Ariel: Cause you start looking for isn't here.
Emmett: Then where is it?
Ariel: There. The circle is complete.
[At home, Ted logs onto his laptop to check his email, which is all from Dr. Crystal, of course. He goes to the kitchen, opens a drawer and gets out his pipe. He's saved by the bell. Enter Lindsay and Mel with his mail, Droopidus Orchidus and some groceries.]
Lindsay: Hi, can we come in?
Ted: Uh. Yeah, yeah, sure.
Mel: We wouldn't to run away.
Lindsay: We were just in a hurry.
Ted: It's okay. I understand.
Mel: So, you're alright?
Ted: Yeah, fine, fine. Don't remind me.
Lindsay: We brought Droopy back. You rename him because he's not droppy anymore. Look, he got a new buttom. Let's pretend the lesbian care.
Mel: And you're mail.
Lindsay: We brought you a few things you may need.
Mel: Milk, coffee.
[As they're putting away the groceries, they see the pipe.]
Ted: I was just getting rid of my triggers. Anything that reminds you of what you don't want to be reminded of. In my case, well, let's just say I should move to a desert island and start from scratch. I don't want you to think I was - because I wasn't -
Mel&Lindsay: no, no, of course not! Nobody said you were!
[They don't believe him. Ted doesn't even believe himself.]
[At Vanguard, Gardner is unveiling his (Brian's) Endovir campaign to the client, Remsen. The theme is "Back on top" and it's a lot like that ad in the gym.]
Gardner: What is the end of view? Is it a drug? A pill? Or the latest miracle of medical technology? Of course, it's all of these things and more. It is the promise of health, of a future bright with hope, of dreams fulfilled. Of being (Cynthia unveils poster) "Back on Top". So we've designed a campaign to accentuate the positive aspects of being positive. A campaign based on one simple word and that word is -
[Brian walks in. He always did know how to make an entrance.]
Brian: - Bullshit?
Gardner: I was going to say optimism. How the hell you know about the meeting?
Brian: I'm the one who set it up. Before I left.
Remsen: I like what you've done. Downplayed the disease , emphasized quality of life.
Brian: I should be so lucky as to have HIV. Then I, too, could go play volleyball with my shirtless, hunky buds.
[Vance whispers in Brian's ear]
Gardner: If you don't get the hell out or I call the security.
Brian: Regretfully, Mr. Remsen, I must be going. But before I leave, I'd like - with your permission - to show you a new campaign that I've designed based on one simple word and that word is honesty. Ladies and gentlemen, the real face of HIV.
Gardner: (reading) "Some days I feel like hell. But at least I'm still alive." - "I don't want to climb a mountain. I just want to live another day." - "Sure, there are side effects. But nothing I can't handle."
Remsen: You've got to be kidding!
Brian: It's strong medicine. I'll admit that .
Remsen: We spent six years and $50 million developing this drug! I personally worked my ass off getting it through the FDA. You think I'm gonna throw it away on some ad campaign that tells people they're gonna feel like hell?
Brian: They already know that! And they're willing to accept it, provided your drug can buy them another year, another month. That's all they're hoping for, that's all they want. And that's all you can honestly offer.
Gardner: Our job is to make your drug as attractive as possible to the consumer. And that's exactly what we did.
Brian: You mean what I did. This was my idea and let me be the first to say - it stinks. Having HIV may not be a ride in the park, but with Endovir it's not a death sentence. So why don't you say that?
[Remsen looks thoughtful.]
[At Darren's apartment, Justin reads him the news article about the arrest of his attackers.]
Justin: Isn't that great? They finally caught the f*ck! Now all you have to do is finger them - metaphorically speaking of course - so they can rot behind bars for 20 years. Or, better yet, get g*ng r*ped nightly by prisoners with AIDS.
Darren: I was thinking maybe Chanda should go blonde for her comeback.
Justin: Didn't you hear me?
Darren: Of course I heard you. g*ng r*ped nightly by prisoners with AIDS. Where did you come up with such gruesome thoughts?
Justin: So when's the lineup?
Darren: If you're referring to what goes on in the backroom of a certain club, I don't engage in such activity!
Justin: I'm referring to the police lineup. When are you going to identify them?
Darren: I'm not. I don't really have a very clear memory of what they looked like.
Justin: But you're the one who described them.
Darren: I guess I've forgotten.
Justin: Well, maybe seeing them again will jog your memory.
Darren: Look, I already told the police, 'Sorry, wish I could help but I really can't. Thanks for asking.'
Justin: (angry) If you don't point them out, they're just gonna walk.
Darren: I really don't want to discuss this any further. Now what's for lunch.
Justin: Chicken!
[Darren gives him a look. Justin relents a little.]
Justin: Darren, why did you change your mind?
Darren: I guess I had time to think. And I decided cowardice is the better part of valor.
Justin: Nothing is going to happen!
Darren: (angry) How do you know that? Say I identify them. Say they go to trial. Say they get off. Say they come looking for me!
Justin: Say they're back on the streets tomorrow because you didn't do anything! Say they att*ck someone else!
Darren: Look, you're the one who told me to put all this behind me, to get on with my life! Yes! I do think blond!
Justin: Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it's time we stood up for ourselves. Fought back!
Darren: And when your attacker bashed you, and then they got off practically scot-free, what exactly did you do?
[Justin has no answer for that.]
[Cut to Ted and Blake at the diner.]
Ted: I know I said I'd only call you if I was on a ledge with a rope around my neck, but I figured a curb and a scarf would suffice.
Blake: It's no problem, I told you you could call me anytime. More coffee?
Ted: No thanks. If I was any more wired, I'd light up Times Square.
Blake: Be patient. You've only been back for one day.
Ted: And I'm already a wreck. Look, I have sweety palms. I make my friends nervous. They don't know what to say. They see me, they wanna flee. They don't trust me. The think I'm still using.
Blake: Same thing happened with me. Eventually, they came around and even forgave me. Except one.
Ted: Your mother? Your father?
Blake: (shakes his head) The first guy who ever believed in me. I never really made amends to him.
Ted: Did you try?
Blake: We'd lost touch. But recently, we reconnected. Maybe now I'll get my chance.
[Cut to angry Justin drawing at the loft, crumpling up pictures in frustration. His hand is bothering him.]
Brian: Since when did our heroes become the merry butchers of Gayopolis?
Justin: Someone has to do it, since f*g are too cowardly to stand up for themselves!
Brian: Somebody's pissed off.
Justin: Well, you would be too if you'd got your head bashed in.
Brian: I know, I was there. I thought you'd put that behind you and moved on.
Justin: I don't wanna talk about it.
[Brian strokes his hair. Justin takes his hand and puts it away.]
Justin: Darren refused to identify his attackers. They're gonna get off. When I told him to be brave, stand up for himself, he said to me, what did you do? I was a coward. I should have done something and I didn't.
Brian: Well, you wanna get even? I'll tell you how to get even Become the biggest f*cking success you can possibly be.
Justin: (disgusted) I already know.
Brian: Well if you know, take that anger and put it into your work. Use it! Have more money, more power, more sex than any poor hetero schmuck because trust me, nothing pisses off a straight guy more than a successful f*g.
Justin: You know Guernica? People say it's the most powerful anti-w*r statement ever made. I say bullshit. It hangs in a f*cking museum, collecting dust. And this is all bullshit. It doesn't do a f*ck thing.
[He crumples up the drawing he was working on and stomps off.]
[Back to Blake and Ted. They're at Ted's apartment. Blake is helping Ted dispose of his "triggers." p*rn. f*ck clothes. A picture of some opera guy.]
Ted: f*ck clothes! Ah, they stink! And these. Or my p*rn books and my p*rn tapes.
Blake: Wait! How's Giuseppe Verdi a trigger?
Ted: He was here watching the whole time.
Blake: He was also here the first time you played La Traviata for me. I say we give him a reprieve. That it?
Ted: Almost.
[He gets the laptop.]
Blake: You sure you wanna trash that?
Ted: Never gave me anything but trouble. Hookups, p*rn sites, not to mention endless e-mails to increase my dick size.
Blake: I don't recall that being one of your shortcomings.
Ted: Even if I got rid of every trigger, every reminder, I'd still remember what I did.
Blake: You gonna be alright?
Ted: To tell you the truth, after rehab where they never left you alone, I'm feeling a little freaky being here by myself.
Blake: I could stay with you, if you'd like.
Ted: No, I couldn't ask you -
Blake: If it'd make you feel better.
Ted: Well, uh, where do we, uh -
Blake: I'd crash on the sofa.
Ted: Of course. The sofa - uh, I'll get you some blankets.
[He goes into another room to gets some blankets.]
Ted: Sleep tight.
Blake: Yeah, you too. And if you need anything -
[Ted nods. Goes into bedroom, closes the door.]
[Back in the woods. It's a group circle bon f*re. Everyone's passing a stick around and repeating, "I feel the power." Em rushes into the group]
Emmett: Hold it! I take that, Dumpling. I feel the power, to. My name is "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever." It just overcame to me. You know what I mean. But you can call me Clear Day.
Man#1: This is a heart circle, Clear Day. We share our feelings here. Is there anything you like to share?
Emmett: Well, the truth is I donna want really come to here. But then somehow something magical happened. I realized that if it's true that faeries have the ability to create beauty out of ugliness and joy out of pain then that power come from one place. Which I know it's come from all along.
Man#1: Thank you. Rise faeries. We thank the powers of the Earth and the Heavens for giving us our special gifts. We celebrate our faeries forfathers and the generations to follow. And our faerie folder Harry.
Emmett: [whispers to Periwinkle] Where is he, anyway?
Periwinkle: Harry passed away two years ago.
[Cut to a focus group watching Brian's old ad and Brian's new ad. Apparently, First, the "old" ad.]
moderator: So, how do you think about these ads? When you see this in the newspaper and magazine or on a billboard. Would you make those to ask your doctor to an interview?
Man#1: Sure, if he gave me his phone number.
woman#1: Pretty much the same old, same old.
Man#2: Hunky white dudes having fun.
Man#3: I get the message of hope.
Man#1: And being on top.
moderator: What about these?
[She brings out Brian's new ads.]
Man#1: You gotta be kidding!
Woman#1: I don't believe it.
Man#3: Who would run ads like these?
Woman#1: It's the truth. Some days I do feel like hell.
Man#1: But actually see that?
Man#3: But you think you're ever gonna see that?
Man#2: That is one ad you'll never see.
Man#3: They wouldn't have the balls.
[Brian and Remsen are watching the whole thing through a one-way mirror. Obviously Remsen was sufficiently impressed by Brian's presentation to take it one step further.]
[Cut to Babylon and an overly long system of Emmett dancing. Apparently, his flame was ignited around the campfire at the faerie gathering and is once again burning brightly. At the bar, Brian, Michael and Ben look at Michael's pictures from the faerie gathering.]
Michael: This is me and Wolfen and Periwinkle. And there is Emmett, I mean "Clear Day".
Ben: Don't forget the cutie in the kilt.
Brian: I think I got these on your Christmas Card.
Ben: Didn't I say to you it isn't a life-time experience, Dumpling?
Brian: Dumpling?
Michael: That's my faerie name. And if you ever say about this...
Emmett: Cosmo, please.
Brian: Why did you do that?
Emmett: Just try to spreat the magie.
Ben: Maybe next year we all should go.
Michael: Yeah!
Emmett: Absolutely!
Ben: Brian, how about you?
Brian: I'd rather have my tongue super-glued to a lesbian's twat. Besides, I'm gonna be way too busy with my new business. And my new account!
Michael: The Circus of p*rn account isn't exactly going to buy you a summer home in P-town.
Brian: But the Remsen Pharmaceuticals account will! Here's to Kinnetic! Drinks are on me, boys!
All: To Kinnetic!
[Meanwhile, at Woody's, Justin is drinking alone, looking morose. He walks over to Cody, who's is at a table with his crew, doing what he does best: being angry.]
Cody: Well, if it isn't Meg Ryan!
Justin: I heard what you said at the Center and I agree.
Cody: (unimpressed) That's nice. (Goes on talking to his g*ng) You need to understand, it's not about being a victim -
Justin: It's about not allowing yourself to be victimized.
[Now Cody realizes that Justin gets it. Justin is allowed to sit down with the cool kids.]
Cody: (extends his hand) Cody Vail.
Justin: (shakes it) Justin Taylor.
Cody: Ready to kick some straight ass?
[Black Screen.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x02 - Stand Up for Ourselves"} | foreverdreaming |
[The episode opens with Ted and Blake exiting a free clinic. Ted looks like he's about to collapse; he appears to be in a state of shock.]
Ted: You obsessed about it, you fantasized about it. You finally hear the news...
Blake: Take a deep breath.
Ted: All you can think about is why me? How could this happen, how could... how can I be... Negative?
Blake: Luck?
Ted: Such a luck.
[He sees a couple over to the side crying over receiving bad news - and Ted's got survivor's guilt written all over his face.]
Blake: So what's next?
Ted: Job, I guess. I became quite adept at cleaning toilets back at rehab. Polished that porcelain so bright you could see your face - before you puked.
Blake: Let me ask you. If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?
Ted: Well - you'd laugh.
Blake: Try me.
Ted: I've always wanted to sing opera. Back in college, I even took some lessons. Instructor said I wasn't half bad. Of course I was paying him.
Blake: So sing!
Ted: What, are you kidding? That was just a dream. What I need is something practical.
Blake: No, what you need is something you love, something that'll make you feel good.
[Emmett, Michael and Brian are walking along Liberty Avenue, apparently coming from the gym. Emmett grabs his own imaginary love handles.]
Emmett: So I've been going to the gym religiously -
Brian: Is that why you were kneeling in the steam room?
Emmett: I gotta get back in shape!
Michael: You look fine, Em.
Emmett: FINE? Just "fine"?! Fine's fine for you two. You each have a husband.
[Brian gives him that look.]
Emmett: Wife? Partner? Passing acquaintance? Anyway, for those of us adrift on the sea of singledom, it's "Sparkle, Neely sparkle!"
[Emmett's journey comes to an abrupt halt when he catches sight of Ted and Blake.]
Emmett: Shit!
Ted: Oh, shit.
[The big showdown is cut with a "high noon" type scene of two g*n facing off. They draw. They f*re. One of them falls to the ground.]
Emmett: I was think about a little speedwalking, to run up a couple of pounds.
[He bolts in the opposite direction, leaving Brian and Michael to approach Blake and Ted.]
Michael: Ted!
Ted: Michael. Brian. You remember Blake.
Blake: Nice to see you guys.
Michael: So how are you, uh -
Ted: Doing? Great!
Michael: Great! Well, we should get together sometime. Whaddaya say?
Ted: Yeah, sure. Sometime. Gotta go.
[Ted doesn't look too thrilled to see his friends. In fact, he's so eager to get away that even Michael notices.]
Michael: He was acting kinda strange.
Brian: Theodore?
Michael: Maybe he feels like we're judging him.
Brian: I don't know about you, but I am.
[The Pink Posse assembles for a strategy meeting/haircutting session at Daphne's apartment.]
Cody: If we're going to have a recognizable force, we need to have a uniform appearance.
Justin: Wouldn't our presence on the street be more effective if we were less noticeable?
Boy#1: What's the point of doin it, if we don't get some attention.
Cody: We need to look the part so they know not to f*ck with us.
[Just then Daphne comes in. Justin introduces her.]
Justin: Hey Daphne. This is my roommate Daphne. Daphne, this is the group I told you about. The Pink Posse.
Daphne: Oh, yeah! For a minute there I thought you were enrolled in beauty school.
Justin: Daphne and I started the gay/straight alliance in our high school.
Daphne: I was the straight half. Can I join?
Cody: It's only for queers.
Daphne: I thought keeping the streets safe was everyone's concern. Well, I guess I'll grab a straight soda and head to my straight room and study my straight studies.
[After she leaves, Justin speaks up.]
Justin: She's my best friend. Why couldn't she be a part of this?
Cody: Because this is about queers defending themselves. Queers standing up to their attackers. Queers fighting back. Letting in heteros it goes against the purpose. Now, we patrolling in teams of two. That means Justin and I work together.
Girl: OK, who's next?
Justin: I am.
[It's Justin's turn for a buzz cut.]
[And this scene opens with Michael sitting at Mel and Lindz's kitchen table.]
Michael: Ted's were my best friends, but now I can't hardly known at all. He was so distant.
Mel: Oh, he's been that way with all of us.
Lindsay: Here you go, sweety.
Michael: Thanks.
Lindsay: I meant Gus.
Michael: I haven't exactly been there for him, either.
Mel: Hey, just stop blame yourself.
Lindsay: He's responsible for his own behavior.
Michael: But he needs to know that we're there for him.
Mel: Well, we're making him cookies, aren't we?
[Just then Emmett comes in.]
Lindsay: [hisses] "Ix-nay on the Ed-tay!"
Emmett: It's a nice surprise to see you there. What brings you this parts?
Michael: I was just there to check up on Mel.
Lindsay: Actually, Em - we're making them for Ted.
[Emmett looks like he swallowed a worm.]
Emmett: That's very thoughtful. I'm sure he'll appreciate knowing he has such good friends as you.
[He doesn't mean a word of it, of course. Exit Emmett, in a queeny huff. ]
[At the loft, Jennifer showing Brian office space on the Internet.]
Jen: This one. Has plenty of square footage, offices with excellent views, generous support areas, including a conference room, kitchen, executive washroom and plenty of underground parking.
Brian: Sounds like everything I need. But it's not what I want.
Jen: But it's as nice as Vanguard.
Brian: Kinnetic is not Vanguard. We don't think in a box. We don't live in a box. Therefore, we don't work in a box. Even if that box were the Seagram's building, I don't want it.
Justin: Hey.
Jen: Christ - ! What'd you do to your hair?
Justin: It's called a haircut, Mother.
Jen: I'm just surprised, that's all. It used to be - so beautiful. (Sounds like she could cry).
Justin: Yeah, well, maybe that was the problem. Anyway, we all got them.
(Brian is prowling around, checking out the haircut from all angles.)
Jen: Who's "we"?
Justin: The Pink Posse. We're protecting Liberty Avenue from h*m*. In case you weren't aware, there was a bashing.
Jen: I'm perfectly aware. I'm also aware that you were bashed.
Justin: All the more reason.
Jen: To put yourself at risk? Haven't you been through enough?
Justin: Don't f*cking tell me what to do!
Brian: Take it easy, Timberlake.
Jen: Brian, will you please talk some sense into him?
Brian: Now, now Mother Taylor. Justin's a big boy. He should be allowed to make his own mistakes.
[Jen gathers her things.]
Justin: We'll be in touch.
[She leaves. Brian strokes Justin's head.]
Brian: Your haircut's hot.
[They kiss.]
[We're tortured by a very bad audition of a "Figaro" aria.]
Judge#1: That was very nice. Thank you. We'll be in touched. NEXT!
[in comes Ted!]
Judge#1: You are... Ted Schmidt?
Ted: Uh, yes sir, Ted Schmidt. That's me.
Judge#1: Tell me something about yourself, Ted.
Ted: OK, well, born and raised right here in Pittsburgh. I went to North Allegena High and then I went to Northon...
Judge#1: I meant your singing experience.
Ted: Oh, well, I had a few voice lessons and did some college amateur productions...
Judge#1: I see.
Ted: But I LOVE Opera. It's always were my dream...
Judge#1: So, what are you sing to us today?
Ted: Well, I thoughed I do sing a song from "La Boheme."
[Pause. Ted stares to the judge and waits.]
Judge#1: Perhaps if you gave Oscar your music, he might play while you sing.
Ted: Oh, of course. Sorry. But has to be told to give.
[Ted starts singing as the scene ends.]
[Cut to Vic and Rodney in bed getting all snuggly.]
Rodney: Are you sure she's asleep?
Vic: She chop enough wood down there to keep us warm to winter.
Rodney: You were mine.
[They start make out. But then - Debbie barges in.]
Debbie: Hey! I thought we were going to watch By Love Possessed on AMC!
Vic: But I though yo were asleep.
Debbie: I was just taking a cat nap, so I can stay up.
[She makes herself comfortable on the edge of the bed]
Debbie: You know, when I was younger and a blonde, everybody said I reminded them of Lana Turner.
Vic: That was Shelley Winters.
Debbie: It was Lana f*cking Turner! She and I both had that perfect chin.
Vic: And the tits.
Debbie: I've still got 'em.
[Vic manages a weak chuckle. Rodney's not the least bit amused.]
Debbie: So anyway, I thought I'd heat up some of those turnovers from the fridge. What'll it be? Apricot or cherry?
Vic: Apricot.
Debbie: Rodney?
Rodney: Cherry.
Debbie: I put some extra ices on.
[She wants to leave but stops in the doorsteps.]
Debbie: Are you coming?
Rodney: Well actually Deb, I was...
Vic: Just a minute, sis.
Debbie: Sure honey, take your time. Say, you weren't gonna f*ck or anything, were ya?
[She leaves. Vic's exasperated, Rodney's pissed. Vic strokes Rodney's hair; Rodney pulls away.]
Vic: Something tells me the temperature tonight's gonna h*t record lows.
Rodney: What makes you say that?
Vic: Cause I'm already feeling a chill. And it's coming from your side of the bed.
Rodney: She never leaves us alone! I thought that when we got together, that we were gonna be a couple, not a threesome.
Vic: What can I do, it's her house?
Rodney: It's your room!
Vic: Well, it's not much better at your place, with your three roommates running around.
Rodney: So I guess we can never be alone.
Vic: We're alone now.
[Vic kisses him, But AGAIN, Deb interrupts by shouting at them to come down because the movie's starting.]
[Ted's condo. Somebody knocks on the door. Ted answers the door.]
Michael: I come bearing cookies. Actually they're from Mel and Lindz. Chocolate chippers, but Gus and I were the official taste testers.
Ted: That's nice.
Michael: We we don't open the crack open the tin and eat them all.
Ted: As much as I'd like to OD on chocolate...
Michael: This time.
Ted: I mean, I'm just on my way out to a meeting.
Michael: Oh! New job?
Ted: Not that kind of meeting. It's my twelfth step.
Michael: Oh. Well, how about dinner? You can meet Hunter.
Ted: Oh, Mel and Linds told me.
Michael: He's a great kid when he's not being a royal pain in the ass, but he's funny. You'll like him.
Ted: I'm sure.
Michael: So say around seven? Our place?
Ted: I've got my group at rehab tonight.
Michael: Well, what about tomorrow? Or the next day? Breakfast, lunch, dinner? What are you say?
Ted: I'm kinda busy these days, what with my meetings and looking for work and my therapy.
Michael: Ted, I just want you to know that I'm your friend. I was your friend before this happened and I'm your friend now. And I'll be here for you if you ever need anything. No matter what.
[Back to the loft, and also noting that Brian looks extremely hot in that in brown sleeveless T. Justin is donning his Pink Posse shirt, ready to go out vigilante-ing.]
Brian: Is that what the well-dressed vigilante will be wearing this season?
Justin: Cody says it's important that we be recognized.
Brian: Well, you'll be recognizable all right. So what w*apon are you packing? A Howitzer or a Bazooka?
Justin: Pepper spray.
[Brian is no longer amused.]
Brian: Armed and ready for action. This Cody's thought of everything.
Justin: I remember when my mother used to refer to you as "this Brian."
Brian: Well, your mom's no fool. She knew her little angel was getting himself into a peck of trouble! She's not wrong this time. You should really go back to school.
Justin: f*ck school. They kicked me out for doing what was right! I don't need them or their diploma. They can eat shit.
Brian: Still angry?
Justin: I'm not angry, I'm committed.
Brian: What, to saving the world?
Justin: You saved the world from an evil politician.
Brian: I didn't do it for the world. Stockwell closed down the backroom and forced us to f*ck like boring breeders, so don't start mistaking me for Eleanor Roosevelt. I did what I had to do, for me.
Justin: And I'm doing what I have to do, for me.
[Justin leaves. Brian's not happy, but what can he say?]
[At comic store. Michael shelving comic books. Hunter's there, reading
a comic instead of doing his math homework.]
Michael: You don't read comic books.
Hunter: God, I'm in a g*dd*mn comic book store.
Michael: You should doing your homework and watch your mouth. Holy shit!
Hunter: What? What's the matter?
Michael: Did you hear me? I sounded just like my mother.
[Michael grabs a stack of comics, thrusts them at Hunter]
Michael: Here, read as many as you like!
[Vic comes in.]
Michael: Hey, Uncle Vic.
Vic: Hi, Michael. How's goin' Hunter? [no comment from him] As an older gay man in this world he might as well be invisible.
Michael: He's doing his homework.
Hunter: I don't get f*cking algebra!
Vic: Hey, let's see. Make X into 2 and square and you've got your solution.
Hunter: Ah, I get it. Awesome.
Vic: I was always good at numbers. Especially cute ones.
Michael: You can always count on Uncle Vic to solve a problem.
Vic: Except my own. Do you think Rage could help me?
Hunter: There's somebody you want brought back to life with a blowjob?
Vic: Meaning that every time Rodney and I try to -
Hunter: f*ck?
Vic: Thank you. Your mother -
Michael: Say no more.
Vic: She won't leave us alone. We'd like it to be the two of us, but instead it's always the three of us.
Hunter: Easy solution, dude. Subtract one from three and you've got your problem solved.
Michael: Smartass!
Vic: Well, oddly enough, that was Rodney's solution, too. But Debbie and I have lived together for so long - hell, we'd be an old married couple if we weren't brother and sister. Besides, it would break her heart if I moved out. After all she's done for me. I probably wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for her.
Michael: She helped you get your life so that you could have a life. You're entitled to that. I'm sure she'd be the first to say so.
[Vic doesn't look so sure.]
[Ted and Blake eat the cookies Michael dropped off.]
Ted: Surprising good for a lesbian.
Blake: You know you're lucky you have such a good friends.
Ted: Yeah. Well, I guess I better figured out how I'm gonna support myself considering I'm on my last crump.
Blake: What?
Ted: Are you go actually thoughed I got a job from singing? I'll do the audition was a good laugh after I left. As if would anyone hire me...
Blake: I remember you're singing in the shower. You sound pretty good.
Ted: Everyone sounds good in the shower. It's time to put all those romantic notions behind me, and get real.
[The phone to ring... ]
Blake: You weren't answer that?
Ted: It's perhaps Michael wanting do something.
Blake: Remember we talked about avoidance in group?
[Blake gives him a really cute, raised eyebrow look and Ted answers the phone.]
Ted: Hello? Yes. What? Are you sure... I mean, Yes. That's great. Thank you.
Blake: Michael has something do great!
Ted: They wants me to sing. Not Michael, I mean... I got the job!
Blake: Oh my god, that's...
Ted: Unbelievable, insane, a mistake?
Blake: [laughs] It's wonderful.
[They hug... ]
[Brian and Justin, strolling along the streets of Pittsburgh.]
Brian: Save any lives last night?
Justin: We helped some f*cked up club kids get back to their apartment. Helped an old queen change a flat. Other than that, it was pretty quiet.
Brian: Well, that's the thing about being a superhero. The average person thinks it's about stopping two planets from colliding or saving the universe from being swallowed by a black hole, but most of the time it's just your average, run-of-the-mill good deeds.
[They stop in front of a place called "Everhard Spa."]
Brian: This is where I get off.
Justin: Isn't it a little early?
[After kissing Justin goodbye Brian enters the Everhard Spa. And look who's here: the intrepid Jennifer. She seems completely unfazed by the surroundings.]
Jen: This more what you're looking for?
Brian: I've always dreamed of having an office with a drain in the floor.
Jen: Thought you might like it. C'mon. I'll show you around.
[Brian goes around snapping pics. The place has an eerie desolation and an aura of sadness.]
Brian: I miss the old orgy room.
Jen: You could make it a conference room.
Brian: It's perfect! For screwing the competition.
[Ted - in tux, singing from "Paliachi" And as we hear applause for his effort - the lights come up and we discover that Ted is now - a singing waiter! But Ted's secret is out, because Vic and Rodney are at one of the tables...opps. Not that Ted sees them.]
Rodney: Is something in you're spaghetti?
Vic: Do you know who's the singing waiter is? It's...
Mr.Perdutshi: SCHMIDT!
Ted: Yes, Mr.Perdutshi?
Mr.Perdutshi: Table 3 needs more breed.
Ted: Right on the way, Sir.
Mr.Perdutshi: Oh, Schmidt, this was a very nice Paliachi.
Ted: Thank you, Mr.Perdutshi. I thoughed it was well.
Mr.Perdutshi: Excellent choice.
[Quick cut to the next morning - Liberty Diner]
Debbie: Ted? A singing waiter?
Michael: He's serving menu and food in Rigoletto's.
Ben: I hear the place was a blast.
Debbie: Oh honey, it's a g*dd*mn Disneyland. Fake fruits, fake sunsets, fake waiters. No f*cking class at all.
Ben: But what were Vic and Rodney there?
Debbie: Vic and Rodney? At Rigoletto's?
Michael: Mmm, last night. That's how we've heard about Ted.
Debbie: We're supposed to watch the Grand Pricks last night. It's the big dick contest.
Michael: We've know, mom.
Debbie: But Vic said that Rodney doesn't feel very well.
[Emmett appears.]
Emmett: Hey boys.
Michael: Hey, Em.
[Debbie wanders away, looking puzzled and miffed. Emmett sits down with Ben and Michael.]
Michael: You know we should all go there for dinner?
Ben: You sure he'd like that?
Michael: Why not?
Emmett: Go where?
Ben: Rigoletto's.
Emmett: The cheesy joint with the singing waiters? Why would we want to go there?
Michael: Ted's one of those singing waiters.
Emmett: Really. So you figured we'd just all go and root him on? Well, be sure to shout "bravo" for me!
[Emmett gets up to leave. Michael follows him outside.]
Michael: Em! Would you slow down? What are you getting so upset for? I'm just trying to show Ted a little support!
Emmett: Well, I'm getting a little tired of your "little support"! The cookies were one thing. Now you're his cheering section?
Michael: He's my friend!
Emmett: In case you've forgotten, so am I!
Michael: I know that!
Emmett: Then you might try considering how I feel.
Michael: What does my friendship with him have to do with you?
Emmett: How could you even say that to me, after what he put me through?
Michael: That's between the two of you! Besides, I can't very well turn my back on him!
Emmett: Why not? He turned his back on you!
Michael: Well, that doesn't mean I should do the same. It wouldn't be fair.
Emmett: Fair? What about being fair to me? Why should I be fair to him or anyone else?
[He leaves Michael standing there with that kicked puppydog look on his face.]
[Debbies house.]
Debbie: Vic, move your ass down here! We're miss the movie. Why you are still in the sweater? You know it still rains. Get up there and change.
Vic: Sis, do you mind if we skip the movie?
Debbie: What's the matter? Don't you feeling well?
Vic: I'm just feel fine. I just thoughed since it was Rodney's night to volunteer at the hospiz you and I can spend the evening at home. Just the two of us.
Debbie: Just the two of us? We've hadn't that for a long time. We'll play cards. I'll make us some caramel corn.
Vic: Maybe later. Sis.
Debbie: Baby, what is it?
Vic: You know I love you, more than anyone else in the world.
Debbie: Except Rodney. But I understand that!
Vic: Then I hope you'll understand that we've talked things over. We've decided to get our own place. It's time, sis.
[Deb looks like she's been punched in the gut. You can see her struggling to get her emotions under control.]
Debbie: You're damn f*cking right it's time! Hell, I've been waiting for this for God knows how long. Not that I don't love having you here. And not that I'm not crazy about Rodney, but I never have any privacy. I have to close the door every time I wanna go potty and I can't go running down to the refrigerator in my panties.
Vic: You do anyway. We've seen you!
Debbie: Well, now I can do it with nobody watching! So when you going?
Vic: Well, since it's making you so happy, I can go right now!
[He makes a move to get up off the couch. Deb tackles him, then tickles him.]
Debbie: And honey, don't you dare worry about me. I'll be just fine.
[She gives him a kiss. Vic's still puzzled and apprehensive. He doesn't completely buy it but her act is pretty good so he allows himself to be reassured.]
[At cheesy Rigoletto's, the g*ng assembles for bad Italian food - all except for Justin, who's off somewhere playing vigilante, and Emmett, who's off playing wounded drama queen.]
Brian: This Chianti tastes like piss! This pasta's so limp it needs Viagra sauce.
Michael: It doesn't matter if the food's good or not. We're here to support Ted!
Lindsay: So, where is Teddy?
Ben: You sure that he work tonight?
Michael: Yeah.
Mr.Perdutshi: Ladies and Gentlemen, Signore and Signor. We hope you're having a memorial dining experience.
Brian: I'm sure I remember me of this.
Mr.Perdutshi: And to your enjoyments Signor Schmidt.
[He looks perfectly confident and at ease as he begins to sing - until he lays eyes on his "supportive friends" at the front table. He falters and stops singing, then leaves the "stage." Michael follows, of course.]
Michael: Ted, what's wrong?
Ted: Why are you here?
Michael: To cheer you on!
Ted: Did it ever occur to you - to any of you - that if I wanted you here, I would've asked you! If you were really my friends, you would leave me alone.
[Michael gets the kicked puppydog look again.]
[Liberty Avenue - The entire Pink Posse walking down the street. It's shown in slow motion. Cody's smiling. Justin's serious. A car drives by, some guy sticking his head out.]
Guy#1: Hey f*g! Wanna suck my cock?
[The Pink Posse rushes over, led by Cody]
Cody: What are you thinking? Get out of the car! Come out!
[Cody kicking the car door.]
Guy#1: Hey, what are you doin'?
Guy#2: What do to my f*ck' car, assh*le?!
Guy#1: What's your business, f*g?!
Justin: Here is the other f*g. Apologize, you to!
Guy#2: f*ck you, you little cocksucker.
[Justin gets shoved on top of the car's hood, and all the Posse members jump into the battle. They proceed to pants the idiots. Meaning they hold the two men down and tear off their clothes so they have to escape bare-assed back into the car and drive off. The Posse's cheering, so is everyone else on Liberty Avenue, - and Justin's smiling and laughing.]
[Cut to Brian in the loft - smoking a joint. Justin runs down the sidewalk outside, then comes into the loft.]
Brian: Oh, you're just in time. I was about to go to Babylon.
Justin: Those straight assholes. We turned them into pussies. You should've seen us there.
[He starts taking Brian's jeans off, they share the joint as Brian sits in a chair, Justin straddling him.]
[Cut to Ben and Michael at the gym.]
Ben: Good boy. See those pecs.
Michael: Anytime you want to, big guy.
[Blake approaches.]
Blake: Excuse me, you spot me.
Michael: Actually I was leaving to the showers.
Blake: I'm Blake.
Ben: Ben. Oh, you're Ted's... Michael told me...
Blake: Our story? Look - I know you don't want to hear anything I have to say, but - what happened last night between you and Ted - you've gotta give him some time.
Michael: Thanks for the advice. Now if you don't mind -
Blake: He's trying to put his life back together. There's a lot of things that he's ashamed of and when he sees you, he's reminded of them. You're a reflection of those things that he wants to forget. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you.
Ben: We care about him, too.
Michael: Yeah, we just want him to know it.
Blake: He does know it, deep down. Eventually he'll come around. But it has to be on his own terms.
[Michael walks off, still looking rather petulant.]
Ben: I'll spot you if you like.
Blake: Thanks.
[With his muscles and tan, Blake looks like a mini-me version of Ben.]
[It's moving day in Debbie's house. Vic pops his meds]
Rodney: I'll guess it's everything. You're ready?
Debbie: Vic!
Vic: I'm down here, sis. I'll be there in a minute.
Rodney: Take your time. I'm waiting in the car.
Debbie: You won't to take the Twins?
Vic: I thoughed I'll leaving for you.
Debbie: But I'm brough them for you, remember?
Vic: Cause I'm remember.
Debbie: You were so sick we couldn't be out of bed, so I put one on beside you to watch over you.
Vic: I they did. I tell you what. I'll take her, you'll keep him. That way we're have each other.
Debbie: Deal. You've got everything? Wait a minute. Don't forget, there is a big chicken, a couple of baken.
Vic: Jesus, this is enough for an army.
Debbie: But you need this for your new home. Hey, it's sounds like you're never coming back.
Vic: I just thought the only way I'd leave here would be in a box.
Debbie: Well, thank Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that never happened. Now you're walking out the front door with your boyfriend and you're starting a whole new life.
Vic: What about you?
Debbie: In case you haven't notices, I'm all set up for my Rosalind Russell film festival and I've got enough ice cream in the freezer to give every man, woman and child in Pittsburgh a heart att*ck. So - as soon as you leave, then my new life begins.
[Rodney comes back in.]
Rodney: Ready?
[Vic goes to hug Deb, but she holds him off.]
Debbie: No f*ck' goodbyes. Besides, we all know I'm gonna be over there buggin' the shit outta ya in about an hour.
[He hugs her. This time, she lets him.]
Vic: I love you.
[At the loft, Justin's taking a shower, showing us some blond boyass. Brian's stretching against the wall, watching the blond boyass.]
Brian: Coming to Babylon?
Justin: Got other plans.
Brian: Friday night in this nowhere burg, that would either be counting your socks or going to synagogue.
Justin: I've got patrol duty.
Brian: As long as you're working the streets, you should try making a few bucks.
[Justin gets out of the shower and begins toweling off. In the bathroom mirror, Brian notices a long scrape on his back.]
Brian: Where'd you get that?
Justin: Oh. One of those jerkoffs from the other day pushed me. It's nothing.
Brian: This time.
Justin: I can take care of myself.
Brian: How about taking the night off? Even Rage and God get a day of rest.
Justin: I told you, I have things to do.
Brian: Like going out looking for trouble.
Justin: I'm not looking for anything. It comes looking for us. f*ck' straight guys think they can drive down the street, yell f*g out of their car window and we're just gonna stand there and take it like a bunch of scared sissies. As far as I'm concerned, they can f*cking die.
Brian: Glad to hear you're not angry.
Justin: We're protecting innocent people. Standing up for ourselves. What's wrong with that?
[Cut to Babylon. Emmett's dancing with a short Latin-looking guy. Emmett's wearing eye makeup, looks a little tweaked and is clearly in Party Slut mode.]
Brian: Knows Ben where you are?
Michael: He's working on his new book. He's always done. I can't wait to read it.
Brian: I'll can't wait for the movie.
Michael: Is Justin coming?
Brian: Maybe.
Michael: I'll hear the Pink Posse came to the rescue the night before. Hey Em.
Emmett: Hey Michael.
Michael: How's it going?
Emmett: Just fine.
Michael: You wanna get a drink?
Emmett: No thanks. Ramón and I are busy.
Michael: Maybe later.
Emmett: Later on I'll be even busier. But hey, why don't you call Ted? I'm sure he'd love to get a drink with you.
[Michael looks like a kicked puppydog - again! It apparently works on Brian]
Brian: Why you take some beers?
[Michael leaves. Brian moves in on Emmett, getting between him and his dancing partner/potential trick.]
Brian: Do you mind if I cut in?
Emmett: I'm dancing with someone.
Brian: No, you are.
Emmett: How dare you! Where the f*ck do you get off?
Brian: Save your diva routine for your world tour. Why'd you treat Michael like that?
Emmett: Like what?
Brian: Like he's an insignificant piece of shit.
Emmett: What the f*ck business is it of yours?
Brian: Anybody who hurts Michael is the f*ck my business.
Emmett: Well, maybe he hurt me, too.
Brian: By being friends with Theodore?
Emmett: You are the one who told me to forget him. That he's d*ad. Right here on this very dance floor!
Brian: Well, guess what. Like Jesus and Liza and Judy, he's making a comeback.
Emmett: And everybody wants to give him a standing ovation, just like nothing ever happened.
Brian: Listen to me, Honeycutt. Are you listening?
Emmett: Yes. I'm listening. Don't call me Honeycutt.
Brian: (laughs) Michael is your friend just the same as he's Ted's. But if you force him to choose between you, you're gonna lose him. Oh and by the way, I f*cked Ramon, and his dick's the size of a Ticonderoga No. 3. After it's been sharpened. Sorry!
[Meanwhile, Cody and Justin are prowling the streets, looking for trouble. But to their disappointment, trouble seems to have taken the night off.]
Justin: There's not much happening tonight.
Cody: Can't expect to kick ass every time.
Justin: But last night? Last night was the first time I was ever in a fight and won. For once the f*cking bullies ran away.
Cody: Nothing like feeling a little power. But it might make things harder. Once they hear we're not afraid to fight back, they might not be so quick to come looking for us. So we'll just have to go looking for them.
Justin: But I thought our job was to protect people here on the street.
Cody: Sure. But why hang around on Liberty Avenue waiting for things to happen when there's a whole straight world out there? Let them see us! And fear us in Jesus' name!
Justin: What the f*ck is that?
Cody: Southern Baptist bullshit. Every Wednesday and Sunday night, I'd be sitting there listening to the preacher telling us how all h*m* were gonna burn in Hell. And I'd be sh1tting in my pants thinking, what if the congregation found out? I'd be kicked out. My parents would hate me. They'd never speak to me again.
Justin: Is that what happened?
Cody: Not before I f*cked Hector Ramirez up the ass. So - whaddaya say we go flush us out some h*m*?
[He puts his arm around Justin's shoulder and they walk off together, comrades in arms.]
[Everyone takes Brian's advice, except Justin. At Babylon, Emmett makes nice with Mikey, who's brooding at the bar.]
Emmett: So I've been thinking about going blond. Sort of silvery platinum shade Madonna was, pre-Blond Ambition, post-Dick Tracy.
Michael: I think that's the worst f*cking idea I've ever heard.
Emmett: I knew you would.
[Emmett drags Michael out to the dance floor and they're friends again.]
[Cody continues to instruct Justin in Vigilantism 101.]
Cody: When my dad used to take me birdhunting, the first thing we'd do to flush them out was b*at the bushes.
Justin: How do we do that?
Cody: Like this!
[He grabs Justin to kiss him - initially, Justin pulls away. Then they kiss, to the disgust of passing straight people. A guy walking by.]
Man: Christ!
Cody: Excuse me? I thought you said something about my friend and me.
Guy: Yeah. Get a room!
Cody: You have a problem, sir, with our kissing?
Guy: No, you do. You're in the wrong part of town. So why don't you go back to where you belong?
Cody: Last I heard we were still living in a democracy. When did they pass out the pink triangles?
[He gives the guy a shove. The guy shoves back.]
Men: f*ck off!
Cody: You got a problem, assh*le?
[The guy starts to walk away, but Cody pulls him back. Now the guy is pissed.]
Guy: Yeah. You f*cking f*g should all get AIDS and die!
Justin: Someone else once said that to me!
[Justin punches the man. Black Screen.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x03 - Starting a Whole New Life"} | foreverdreaming |
[This Old Bath House has undergone a remarkable transformation, thanks to Brian's interior designer gay genes and amazing superpowers. A few finishing touches are still being applied, but Kinnetic is up and running in its new space. Justin is impressed - and amused.]
Justin: The last time I was here, it was No Towels Night.
Brian: And a hundred guys wanted to touch my stiffie.
Justin: Mr. Popular! And I'm the only one you f*cked.
Brian: Lucky you.
[They pass a worker who appears to be hanging wallpaper or doing something to the walls, anyway.]
Brian: It's a nice work, Tommy.
Tommy: Thanks, Mr.Kinney
Justin: Leave it to you to turn a bath house into the worldwide headquarters of Kinnetic, Inc.
[They enter the inner sanctum of Brian's office, which strikes a familiar chord]
Justin: (laughs) The old steam room. It's the first place we ever f*cked in public.
Brian: Nothing like performing in front of a live audience.
Justin: Who said some of those guys were alive?
[Cynthia comes in with an ad mock-up for approval.]
Cynthia: The add design want to know they see the mark-ups. Hi, Justin.
Brian: Yeah, can you tell Manner he can use the 300 dph and sh**t at me back to my approveal fast. Deadline is six.
Cynthia: Also Brown Athletics called and ask to meet. Said they hate what Vanguard did with them account.
Brian: Yeah, wonder why. Tell them I have a meeting and I call them tomorrow?
Cynthia: Oh, and your accountant left a message. The check for the Endovir ad will definitely be wired to Heat Magazine by the end of the business day tomorrow.
Brian: It better be. Our lives are depending on it. Well? Move!
Cynthia: God! (To Justin as she leaves) I love my job.
Justin: I love it when you get bossy.
Brian: Well, what do you say we christen my new office? I have fifteen minutes before I have to approve ad copy.
Justin: Always the romantic! But I have a strategy meeting with the Posse.
[He kisses Brian and leaves.]
[Michael, Ben and Hunter are sitting at the counter in the diner. Michael is reading aloud from the foster parent application.]
Michael: "In a brief paragraph, explain why you want to become foster parents." Sounds like an assignment for you, Professor.
Ben: How about we want to give a child the love and support he needs to help him fulfill his dreams and achieve his goals?
Hunter: I happen to be eating! Don't make me puke.
Ben: It may not win a Pulitzer Prize, but I think it says it all.
Michael: Oh, shit, look at this! It says Social Services may drop by for a visit at any time, unannounced.
Ben: What can they do? We've got nothing to hide.
Hunter: Except for that double-headed dildo.
Michael: Hey! Any dildo we might have is hidden away where no one can find it.
Hunter: Wanna bet?
Michael: Listen smart-ass. From now on there will be no more lewd comments. There will be no more sexual innuendo.
Hunter: So much for conversation.
[It's Emmett, looking a little worse for the wear, with last night's trick.]
Emmett: Hello, men! And (to Hunter) little men!
Michael: You look exhausted!
Ben: You out clubbing all night?
Emmett: Well, ever since I moved in with my favorite lesbians, I'm trying to be a model houseguest. The trouble is, I have no place to "entertain"!
Hunter: Doorways are always good. So are back alleys, under parked trucks -
[Michael gives him a look.]
Hunter: I used to f*ck for a living, remember?
Emmett: Right! Well, expert professional tips are always welcome! However, we elected to try the cemetery. Didn't we, Gordon?
Trick: Jordan.
Emmett: Jordan. It's actually kind of erotic in a creepy, macabre sort of way.
[Enter Debbie, carrying a basket of laundry which she plunks down on the counter.]
Debbie: Here is your laundry, boys! I don't name any names but I had a hell to left skidmarks on his size 28 tighty whities.]
Hunter: Christ!
[He exits in a state of acute embarrassment.]
Michael: Ma, I told you, you didn't have to do this!
Debbie: I know I didn't have to do this. I wanted to do it. Just like I wanted to make you dinner!
Michael: For the last three nights.
Debbie: And grout your tiles.
Ben: It took you two days.
Debbie: You got a problem with that, do you, Ben?
Ben: No, Debbie! No problem at all. We love having you around.
Debbie: Good. Because I love being with my boys.
[Debbie eyes land on Emmett, who's now sitting at a booth with Gordon/Jordan.]
Debbie: Say, Em, honey? You wanna take those off, cause I can wash those grass stains off in a jiff.
[She's referring to the stains on the knees of Emmett's jeans from last night's romp in the cemetery.]
[It's at a gym. This is a funky place where boxers go to train. Cody and Justin are in the ring. Cody demonstrates a few sparring moves, then watches Justin's attempt to imitate them.]
Cody: Not bad! Now if you want to really take down the f*ck, grab him like this (grabs Justin around the neck, bringing him down to the floor) - choke the shit out of him and kick him in the balls! OK, who's next?
[The other members of the Posse don't like where this is headed.]
Boy#1: I thought we were supposed to be protecting people.
Boy#2: Not train to become an elite k*lling squad.
Cody: We're ably to stop trouble before it starts.
Justin: Find them before they find us.
Boy#3: I'm not goin' out and kicking fights!
Boy#4: It's not what I'm sign up to do.
Girl#1: This is f*cked.
Cody: What's f*cked is waiting around for someone else to get bashed. We need to stick up with them. So, I show you the way.
Boy#3: Show long yourself.
Justin: Cody's right. We can't sit around and wait for something to happen. If we wanted to be affective we have to take the initiative.
[The Pink Posse is now down to just two members.]
Cody: f*ck' pussies! Let them go. Who needs them anyway. C'mon.
[Mel & Lindz are in the kitchen with a mousy-looking lesbian couple who Melanie's representing in a custody battle.]
Jeanette: How old is Gus now?
Lindsay: How about three.
Jeanette: Wow.
Anna: Same age is Garreth before they gave them to my ex-husband. Damn.
[She starts to cry.]
Jeanette: It's alright, honey.
Anna: God, I hate when I cry, don't you?
Mel: There've been a lot of changes in the law since that decision.
Lindsay: Not to mention in the world.
Mel: It also doesn't hurt that the judge who's hearing your appeal has a gay-friendly track record.
Lindsay: And that you have a brilliant lawyer.
Jeanette: You don't have to tell us.
Anne: I couldn't be done without you.
Lindsay: Dinner's ready. So let's eat.
[It's dinnertime at the Novotny-Bruckner household. Michael is stressing over the impending social worker visit.]
Ben: I thoughed we're eating and not re-decorate all by flowers.
Michael: I think it's obsessive. You're obviously dominate. So, what is such earth the beautify?
Ben: Michael, it says the social worker may, I repeat may show up.
Michael: Who said we're that lucky. Like Mel said, gay parents have to be better than straight parents.
Ben: Well, I think your worry, concern and obsessive- compulsiveness are totally neurotic. You're adorable. I say let's just be ourselves. It's good enough.
[They kiss. Just then Hunter strolls into the living room, clad only in his tighty whities.]
Hunter: Careful! You want the social worker to come here and see two h*m* kissing?
Michael: Would you put on some clothes?
[Ignoring him, Hunter grabs some juice from the fridge, swigging directly from the carton.]
Michael: And use a glass - !
Hunter: Dude, you need to take a chill pill.
[Hunter plops down on the couch.]
Michael: I just fluffed those pillows!
[There's a knock at the door. Michael freezes.]
Michael: Get on the sofa and get some clothes! Now!
[He does and goes in his room.]
Ben: Everything looks great, just calm down. Hysteria isn't gonna help.
[He pulls open the door. Deb breezes in, holding a tray of food.]
Debbie: It's cannelloni night!
[Michael and Ben appear to be paralyzed by shock. ]
Debbie: I paced around and you two are the lucky receivers.
Michael: Ma!
Debbie: [to Ben] You wanna warm this up?
Ben: Debbie, I already made dinner. Soilor with mushrooms and fruits.
Debbie: Uh-huh. So, you wanna warm this up?
Michael: Ma, please not tonight.
Debbie: Why don't tonight?
Hunter: [all clothes] I thoughed you were a social worker!
Debbie: Honey, I'm the social director! So come on in and sit down. [she sneeze by the flowers] Take this f*ck flowers away, honey.
[Under the orange lights, Justin gives Brian a blowjob. Brian holds his hand, dragging it up the length of his body. Afterwards, they kiss. Brian rolls on top of Justin. Then Justin rolls on top of Brian.]
Justin: Tonight it's your turn.
Brian: (laughs) That's what you think.
[They wrestle a little. It's playful - at least on Brian's side. So he's unprepared for Justin's next move.]
Justin: Tell you what. We'll fight for it.
[Justin gets out of bed.]
Justin: C'mon.
Brian: Get your ass back into bed.
Justin: Why don't you get yours out? What's the matter? You scared?
Brian: Yeah, I'm incapacitated with fear.
Justin: Then what're you waiting for?
[Brian gets out of bed and Justin starts right in with his sparring moves.]
Brian: Where'd you learn to fight?
Justin: Cody taught me. The other night I took out a straight guy.
Brian: I've taken out a couple of those myself. Hey, watch the face, assh*le!
Justin: C'mon, old man.
Brian: What'd you call me?
Justin: You heard me. Geezer!
[They each get in a sh*t to the face. Painful, but no damage. They move into the living room. They're both still naked. As far as Brian's concerned, the "fight" is over.]
Brian: Careful, sonny. You're gonna get hurt.
[He puts his arm around Justin's neck. Justin pulls him down to the floor where they start wrestling.]
Justin: I don't care if I get hurt, as long as I hurt them more.
Brian: They're not all assholes.
Justin: That's a laugh coming from you, you're the biggest f*cking heterophobe of all time. You always said there's only two kinds of straight people in the world, the ones that hate you to your face and the kind that hates you behind your back. You know what?
Brian: What?
Justin: You were right.
[Back to the Land of the Boring Lesbians. Melanie is burning the midnight oil, working on her big case. Lindsay comes in to give her a little pep talk.]
Mel: I know, I promised. I'll get back.
Lindsay: Did I say anything?
Mel: You don't have to. I'll stop.
[She closes her book. Lindsay goes in front of her and open the book.]
Lindsay: I feel so sorry for Jeanette. All I can think of was "Thank God it's not us.". And how lucky they are. To have you to speach up with. If Michael and Justin should create a superwoman character based on you.
Mel: Dino d*ke?
Lindsay: Not bad.
Mel: Unfortunately this case doesn't need any superpower just long hard hours.
Lindsay: I wish I could help.
Mel: You already have. More than you know.
[Lindz yawn just when Mel was kissing her.]
Mel: See? I should press my superpowers.
Lindsay: No, no, no, it's not you. It's late.
Mel: Why you went to bed?
[At the comic store, Emmett tells Mikey his tale of woe:]
Emmett: Well, first we went to the bath. Then somehow we go to the Matrix, what isn't exactly romantic. So finally we went home to his mother. And I went home to Mel and Lindz.
Michael: Maybe you find your own place.
[Vic enters the shop.]
Vic: You have any ideas how hard it is to find quer legs in the town? I went to three markets.
Michael: You're looking great, Uncle Vic.
Vic: Must be that anti-aging cream. In a couple of years, I'll be ready for high school.
Michael: I was referring to an inner glow.
Vic: Oh, Michael, to finally be alone with the man you love - ? What am I telling you for? You know!
Michael: Yeah, I know. To finally be alone with the man you love, the mother you love -
Vic: Oh, no!
Michael: I didn't realize what a tremendous debt I owe you for taking a b*llet for me all these years.
Vic: If only I'd known, I never would' ve left.
Michael: No, you did the right thing. This is not your problem, it's mine. She's my mother and I have to explain to her that as much as I love her, there have to be boundaries.
Vic: You're going to need more than boundaries with your mother. You're going to need a border patrol.
[Cut to Cody and Justin at a bookstore where Cody apparently works.]
Cody: When you read this? [to shows him a book]
Justin: When I was nine.
Cody: Yeah, then try it again. Especially the part when Hook freeze Jim from sl*very. He knows he's goining against every society and religion methotic. They could b*at them out the hell. He doesn't care. You gonna bail too?
Justin: f*ck, no! Except maybe we went a little too far the other night.
Cody: That guy was a raging assh*le. He deserved to get the shit b*at out of him.
Justin: I don't know. When I told Brian, he kind of -
Cody: What the f*ck are you telling other people for? The posse business stays between us!
Justin: Come ON. Brian's my boyfriend. And he thinks what we're doing is crazy.
Cody: Crazy. You wanna see crazy?
[Cut to Cody and Justin at a church service. The preacher is ranting about the evils of h*m*. In fact, it seems to be the entire subject of the sermon.]
Minister: A man who lays with a men will burn in hell. "I should not lies with men-kind as with woman- kind. It is a abomination." I didn't think this up, folks. This is gods holy word. And if you here tonight, guilty of the sin of h*m* then you are on the brought, winding road that lead to eternal domination!
Community: Amen!
Justin: [whispers to Cody] This is go on every night?
Cody: [whispers back] Just Wednesday and Sunday.
Justin: I can't believe you come here.
Cody: No line enemy.
Justin: Sounds like the bible.
Cody: It's in front of mind.
[A woman sshh them.]
Minister: ...because Jesus loves you, my children. And Jesus can change you!
woman#1: Oh yes, he can!
Minister: It's all right here in God's holy word.
woman#1: Praise Jesus!
[As Cody and Justin leave, the minister speaks to them.]
Woman#2: Your sermon was an inspiration, pastor.
Minister: With God, Laurie. He spoke right through me tonight. So good to have you young men to service tonight.
Justin: [sarcastic] It was very inspiring.
Minister: Thank god to glorie.
Cody: Mind if I ask you a few question, pastor?
Minister: Please.
Cody: This book. We have to believe all of this? Not just something, right?
Minister: That's right.
Cody: So, do you like shrimp?
Minister: Well as a matter of fact, I do.
Cody: Because in the Bible before it comes with men lies with men it also comes it's an abomination to eat shellfish and shrimp.
Minister: What's your point, young man?
Cody: I believe the point is, if you can eat shrimp, we can eat cock!
Minister: Son, you need the Lord. You need to accept Jesus.
Cody: Oh, I accept Jesus. It's assholes like you I have a problem with!
[Cody goes with Justin hand in hand away.]
[Cut to Brian and Michael playing pool at Woody's. Brian is talking on his cellphone.]
Brian: I want the four court comes on my desk next thing in the morning. A conference at ten so that he can sign off. [he hangs up] When it's your own business, the sign on the door says, "We never close." Come to think of it, that's what it used to say on the old bath house door. It's your sh*t.
[Michael makes a bad sh*t.]
Michael: Shit!
Brian: Off your game?
Michael: Waiting for the social worker to arrive is making me nuts!
Brian: You've got nothing to worry about. You and the Professor are the world's greatest foster parents.
Michael: Thanks, Brian!
Brian: Besides, who else'd want the little f*ck?
[Enter Emmett, with trick du nuit in tow.]
Emmett: Michael, Brian, this is Cant.
Trick#2: Trent.
Emmett: Trent. Uh, would you excuse us. I'll be with you in a second. Brian, I'm just kind of a spot. See, Trent, uh Kent is this really interesting person and it's very deep.
Brian: I'll bet.
Emmett: And I was wondering, and I know it's a really huge favor for making me eternial grateful if I could use your place just for an hour?
[Brian gives him a stony stare. Emmett wavers.]
Emmett: Half an hour? Ten minutes, tops?
[Brian says nothing.]
Emmett: Well, don't about us. We'll be fine.
[Brian's cellphone rings again.]
Brian: What's up? What do you mean it didn't get there? There was a transferred this morning. Well, call Wertshafter and tell him... WHAT?! Shit. f*ck!
Michael: Good news, dear?
Brian: My goddam accountant was supposed to wire the money for the Endovir ads to Heat but it never arrived.
Michael: Call him in the morning and have him straighten it out.
Brian: They're out of the office till Monday and the deadline's tomorrow night. I'm gonna lose my one big account. I'm gonna get so f*cked!
Guy: [passing by] You and me both, honey!
Michael: Wait a minute. Wertshafter's your accountant? You know who used to work for Wertshafter?
[Ted's speaking at a 12-step meeting.]
Ted: I'm Ted, I'm a crystal meth addict - This is my sixth week of recovery. I'll guess it all start it when I was struckling with feeling worthless, depression, no-where to go one, so in the moment of sphere I decided to try with...
[Brian strides up to the podium and interrupts him.]
Brian: C'mon. I need you.
Ted: Jesus, Brian, can't you see I'm sharing?
Brian: (to the audience) It's nothing you haven't heard before. Did drugs, f*cked around, h*t bottom, regrets it deeply. Let's go.
[Ignoring Ted's protests, Brian just drags him off the podium and out of the meeting.]
[Cut to Kinnetic's offices.]
Ted: How could you do that? The rule is you never interrupt someone when they're sharing!
Brian: It's not my club, not my rules.
Ted: You are un-f*cking-believable!
[He stops and looks around.]
Ted: Why do I feel like I've been here before?
Brian: Drop to your knees and imagine a cock in your mouth. It'll come to you.
[He nudges Ted over to the computer and forcibly sits him down in front of it.]
Brian: Here's the deal. My idiot accountant - the same dick that fired your ass for jacking off at your computer -
Ted: Wertshafter?
Brian: - was supposed to transfer 20 grand from my account into Heat Magazine's account but they f*cked it up.
Ted: That's no surprise. But what do you want me to do about it?
Brian: Find it. And fix it. And get it to them by midnight.
Ted: By midnight.
Brian: Or sooner.
Ted: Simple request. Only I can't do it. I'm out of shape. I haven't crunched a number in years! And besides, I'm a singer now.
Brian: Listen to me! Are you listening? You may be a pathetic drug addict who lost everything, your dignity, your livelihood, your lover, your name, the respect and trust of everyone you know -
Ted: No one gives a pep talk like you, Brian!
Brian: But there's one thing you haven't lost. You're still an accountant! That's who you are! Not even the lowest form of degradation can take that away from you. Now. Let's live in the solution, not the problem!
[Melanie arrives at the office.]
Mel: Sorry, I'm late. I was in the doctor's office because every woman in Pittsburgh's pregnant.
Larry: Melanie, I have some news.
Mel: I'll was up all night to finish my final recogment.
Larry: First will you hear the newest news?
Mel: Sure, Larry, what's up?
Larry: The replace judge Rilly to another case.
Mel: With whom?
Larry: Judge Randal Walker.
Mel: Isn't he the one who help the f*ring a back allay elementry teacher?
Larry: That's our boy.
Mel: That's to bad.
Larry: You have to redocument...
Mel: It doesn't mean we don't have a chance. Except we have to rework our argument. Beside my clients have trust in me. I have no intention to let her down.
[After dinner, Michael, Ben and Hunter doze in front of the TV while Debbie watches the movie, totally enthralled.]
Debbie: I just love Some Like It Hot! I could watch it over and over and over!
Michael: We have!
Debbie: So who's up for All About Eve?
Ben: I have some writing I need to finish.
Michael: And Hunter has homework.
Hunter: I don't mind!
Debbie: There's always time for Bette Davis!
Hunter: Who's Bette Davis?
Debbie: Who's Bette Davis? This kid needs a real education.
Michael: h*m* Theatre's over for this evening. (To Hunter) Go on.
[He clicks off the TV.]
Debbie: Alright, you boys go whatever it is you need to do. I'll just sit here and play solitaire.
[Michael and Ben exchange looks.]
Michael: Ma, Uncle Vic and I were talking...
Debbie: You and Vic?
Michael: All about you. And I know you must feel lonely because he's gone but you can't keep coming over here. You gotta find something to do on your own. You know, have friends of your own.
Debbie: Well, I'm so glad that you and my brother know how I feel and what I'll should be doin'.
Ben: It's not that they brought in your horizones.
Debbie: I brought enough, thanks!
Ben: Debbie, it wasn't a critizied.
Debbie: Well, it sound it like one.
Michael: Don't take it out on Ben. It's just a suggestion.
Debbie: Well fine, I'll make one for you. MYOB. You got a helluva nerve, you know? After I do your laundry and I make your dinner -
Michael: You wanna spray for termites too?
Debbie: Don't you open your mouth to me, young man! And you're not so young. You're old enough to show me a little respect.
Michael: I do show respect!
Debbie: By telling your own mother that she's not welcome in your house?
Michael: I never said that.
Ben: He never said that!
Debbie: "You can't keep coming over here?" How'd you like if I said that to you? "Get out of my house!" There were plenty of times when I wanted to do it, when I could have used a little peace and quiet.
[Hunter comes out of his room, wearing just his undies.]
Hunter: Hey, can you keep it down? I'm trying to do my homework.
Ben: C'mon, you two!
Debbie: Keep the f*ck out of this!
[Somebody knocks on the door.]
Debbie: But I didn't do it because a mother's love knows no bounds!
Michael: Well, I wish it would!
Debbie: So what? You want to have one of those mothers who doesn't give a crap?
Michael: Well, I can dream, can't I?
[Hunter goes to answer it, in his underwear. It's the social worker.]
Ms.Simmons: I'm Constance Simmons from the social services. I want to speak to Mr.Bruckner and Mr.Novotny.
Hunter: Oh, shit! Come in.
Debbie: Maybe you don't f*cking remember that I raised you all by myself! I haven't no f*cking help from everyone!
Michael: How can I'm not f*cking remember? You never let me f*cking forget?!
Hunter: Guys, that's Mr.Bruckner and that's Mr.Novotny. This is the lady from social services.
[At Kinnetic, Ted keys in password after password. Nothing works.]
Ted: Let's try this... nope. OK, let's try this... Nope. Shit, I don't know how to get in this g*dd*mn system!
Brian: You have to. You're f*cking worked there!
[Brian's cell phone rings.]
Brian: Hello. Yeah, the money's being transfer as we speek. Is good as there. [he hangs up]
Ted: No, it's not!
Brian: You want make a liar out of me?
Ted: Look, I'm not supposed to put some stress in my life. My programms specific takes...
Brian: Divine you accomplishment and got it.
Ted: Let's see, the last password that he used was his daughter birthday 091574. [Error] Then was his wifes 112146. [Error] Therefore was his mothers 062833. [Error]
Brian: You remember all what I didn't remember.
Ted: Wait, wait, wait. He has a grand-daughter. It's valentines date 2001. I remember until I didn't have a date. 021401. Oh my god, we're in.
[Obviously, Emmett's going to have to get his own place. He brings his trick back to his room at Lindz & Mel's. This is against the rules they agreed on and it's also loud enough to wake up Mel and Lindz. They have sex in his room and when they come his trick howling so loud that even Mel and Lindz are wake up.]
[At Kinnetic, Brian and Ted smoke post-money-transfer cigarettes.]
Brian: You were f*cking amazing.
Ted: Yeah, I was pretty good, wasn't I?
Brian: It was genius, sheer genius.
Ted: Nothing that a conscientious accountant with a knowledge of the system couldn't have done.
Brian: It was YOU, Theodore Schmidt. You did it. And you can keep on doing it starting Monday morning.
[Ted's stunned.]
Ted: Are you sayin'?
Brian: Will you work for me?
Ted: Jesus, Brian, I never dreamed that you, of all people, would ask me, of all people -
Brian: That makes two of us.
Ted: I can't tell you how much your offer means to me.
Brian: Then don't. Just say yes.
Ted: I...
Brian: ...will?
Ted: I...
Brian: ...accept?
Ted: I...can't. I'm not ready. I'm sorry.
[The morning after the noisy f*ck, Emmett comes down to breakfast looking a little sheepish.]
Lindsay: Hot milk?
Emmett: No, thanks. I'm not hungry.
Lindsay: A donut?
Emmett: Alright, you have me.
Lindsay: So, how you sleep?
Emmett: Like a baby. You?
Lindsay: Great, exept for this terrible howling...
Emmett: What I can explain.
Lindsay: No need. We've heard, loud and clear.
Emmett: Believe me I had no idea I brought home wolfman.
Lindsay: I thoughed we've made an agreement.
Emmett: And I broke it. It's monsun and... [she looks at him] OK, no excuse. I'll promise I never do it again.
Lindsay: I hope you do it again just not here.
Emmett: The problem is where?
Lindsay: The solution is pretty simple? Don't you think?
Emmett: My own place. It's that I'm never lived alone before. After I left Hazelhurst I came up here and then Michael and Teddy and now you're and Mel.
Lindsay: So maybe it's time. Who knows maybe you find someone you like it. Be able to come and go.
Emmett: And come.
Lindsay: As you please.
[Mel's workplace. Jeanette and Anna are there]
Jeanette: Mel says it's gonna be alright. It's gonna be alright?
Anna: But after what you told us about the new judge?
Mel: Look there is no denying that we have an additional hearing to come. But it's not impossible. Besides you knows as well as I do no victory comes easily.
Anna: Thank you, Mel.
Mel: We're gonna get through this.
Larry: Sorry for interrupted. You have a minute?
Mel: Would you excuse me?
[Once they're alone he speaks up.]
Larry: Would you please listen what I have to say?
Mel: I heard what you had to say! And the answer is no f*cking way!
Larry: You read Readworkers records. He's in the dark ages.
Mel: Then we must enlighting him!
Larry: You know g*dd*mn well what I'm saying is best for the case and for the client.
Mel: YOU taking over.
Larry: At least I'm someone he can realte to.
Mel: A straight white male lawyer.
Larry: No, we have an unfriendly judge and a gay mother and look who's defending her? A pregnant lesbian.
Mel: Exactly. Who knows better what she's goin' through then I do?
Larry: It doesn't mean you're the one who say it! Right now we can't afford to take that risk.
Mel: Oh all of a sudden I'm a risk. If you think I worked day and night for month pull my guts into this case only to see it take away by one of the little boys...
Larry: I'm not tryin' to take it away from you. This will be still your case. You're work will still be there, you will still be there.
Mel: Sitting behind you. Sorry Larry, no way. And given the confidence and support my clients there is no way to allowed that either.
[Cut to Ted at Rigoletto's. Ted's finished his sing from an opera. He has an epiphany when a group of old biddies want separate checks.]
Waitress: I understand but you should requested several checks before you place the order.
Woman#1: I want to see the manager.
Ted: I apply this. Who had the lasagne?
Woman#2: I did and I had a glass of cieanti.
Woman#3: Make that two.
Woman#2: She only had one. And Ida, she's the birthday person.
Ted: Oh, happy birthday.
Ida: Oh, how sweet, dear. Thank you.
Woman#3: She had the campy and the ice tea.
Woman#2: And we all get a salat.
Ted: OK, so that $14,73 for you include taxes. And who had the peal pharma?
Woman#2: Me do.
Ted: OK, you're five with the birthday group so your grand total is $ 18,45 and the other lady brings it to $13,63
[All ladies applauds him.]
Waitress: How you do that?
Woman#2: You've got a nice voice, young man, but if you ask me, you should've been an accountant. It's in your blood.
[Back to Ben and Michael. Michael's despondent. After what happened the other night, he's convinced they don't stand a chance of being approved as foster parents.]
Michael: Well, it was nice while it lasted.
Ben: We don't know anything for certain.
Michael: Yeah, we do. The look on Ms. Simmons' face said it all: Get that kid away from those crazy people immediately!
[Hunter calls over from the couch.]
Hunter: You guys don't have to whisper. I have 20-20 hearing.
[Nobody answers.]
Hunter: Think she'll take me with her tonight?
Ben: They can't do that.
Michael: They can do anything they damn well please!
[There's a knock on the door.]
Ben: Getting more upset didn't help.
Michael: Right. I'll get upset.
[Ben gets it. It's Debbie, looking contrite and subdued.]
Debbie: Hey, Ben.
Michael: Jesus, mom...
Debbie: You wanna slam the door on my face, I'll understand.
Michael: Good.
[Michael's inclined to do that but Ben intervenes and tries to play peacemaker.]
Ben: Hey. Come in, Debbie.
Debbie: If I've done anything to f*ck up your chances for keeping that kid, I will never forgive myself.
Michael: That'll make two of us!
Ben: There is not only your fault. The things got...
[There's another knock on the door. Yep - Ms. Simmons is back.]
Ms.Simmons: Hello Mr.Bruckner. Mr.Novotny. Mrs.Novotny what a surprise.
Debbie: Hopefully not as much as last time.
Michael: Ms. Simmons, I know when you were here the other night, it didn't look like Hunter belonged here, but I want you to know how much Ben and I care about him. And we know we'd be very good foster parents if you'd just give us a chance.
Ms. Simmons: I agree. With all due respect, I have a mother, too. We're always going at each other, but that doesn't mean we don't love each other. In fact, we wouldn't fight so much if we didn't. So when I come across what I saw here, I know what it is. Because it's not something I see very often. It's called love.
[Kinnetic. Brian at his desk late at night, with his sleeves rolled up, doing paperwork. Ted the singing accountant are there.]
Ted: I see long hard hours in the old steam room.
Brian: Well, I like to.
Ted: Doing your own books, I see.
Brian: It's someone I can trust.
Ted: Look, Brian, I've reconsidered your offer and if the position - make that, opportunity - is still available, I'd like to take you up on it.
Brian: What made you change your mind?
Ted: Ida Friedman's 80th birthday. And the obvious but nonetheless belated realization that my true calling is not to mutilate some opera beside pasta. But as you said, to be what I truly am. An accountant.
Brian: You can start first thing Monday morning.
Ted: I'll be here, boss.
[He starts to leave. Brian looks up from his work.]
Brian: Oh, and Theodore, if you f*ck up, I'll have you m*rder.
[Ted starts to laugh, then stops when he realizes that Brian isn't kidding.]
[Justin and Cody are prowling the streets, stopping trouble before it starts. They approach a building, maybe a club or something, with some people hanging out in front. A guy and a girl start macking on each other. Justin and Cody position themselves next to the couple and start sucking face. The girl looks over.]
Girl: Uh, it's disgusting.
Justin: You mean this?
[They make out some more.]
Guy: f*cking freaks. C'mon.
[He and the girl head for their car which is parked in a nearby alley. Cody and Justin follow.]
Cody: Hey, assh*le! You and your bitch are freaks.
Guy: f*ck you, f*g.
[Cody picks a fight with the guy, who shoves him. They scuffle and then the guy pulls out a Kn*fe.]
Guy: You wanna mess with me? Huh? Huh?
[Justin freaks. Cody pulls out a g*n. Justin really freaks.]
Cody: Yeah, we wanna mess with you. Drop the Kn*fe. Drop-the- f*cking-Kn*fe!
Guy: Please, men.
Cody: Don't say please! Say you're sorry. Say "I'm so very sorry."
Guy: I'm so very sorry.
Cody: Yeah, you bet you are. You straight piece of shit! Now politely excuse yourself.
[He lets the couple get in their car and drive away. They ran away.]
Cody: I said politly!
[Cody and Justin escape to yet another alley.]
Justin: Where the f*ck did you get a g*n?
Cody: Where I grew up, everyone had one.
Justin: You could have k*lled him.
[Cody pulls the trigger, which clicks harmlessly. It's not loaded. Justin looks somewhat relieved.]
Cody: It was just meant to scare them.
Justin: Yeah, well, it worked. It scared the shit out of me. I've never even held a g*n before.
[Cody hands him the g*n.]
Cody: Go on.
Justin: It's heavier than I thought. It's cold.
Cody: It'll heat up. [Justin smiles and think that Brian used the same sentence on his first meeting] Does it make you hard?
Justin: Maybe.
Cody: The same thing happened to me my first time.
[Cody gives Justin a hand job with one hand, while holding the g*n in the other. Black screen.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x04 - Escalating v*olence"} | foreverdreaming |
[In the opening scene, Brian arrives at the office, where his loyal employees are already bustling busily about. He's greeted by the indispensable Cynthia.]
Cynthia: Your coffee. Your calls. Your advance copy of "Heat."
Brian: Did Remsen see it yet?
Cynthia: The fax just came. He's over the moon.
Ted: Brian Kinney is back with a vengeance!
Cynthia: This campaign is gonna start a revolution. The no more bullshit era of advertising!
Ted: Next thing you know, there'll be soft drink jingles about rotting teeth and hyperactive kids.
[Ted hands Brian a stack of papers and a pen.]
Brian: What the f*ck is that?
Ted: Oh, just a few thousand forms for you to sign. Insurance, pension and benefits, SSI -
Brian: And I can think of so many more interesting things to do with my right hand.
Ted: I'm sure you can. But in the meantime, I need to attend to the business of setting up your business. Oh - I also wanted to give you this.
[He hands Brian a folded up piece of paper. Brian looks at it quizzically.]
Brian: Who's it from?
Ted: Actually, it's from me. It's part of the program. It's called making amends.
Brian: (laughs) How sweet. A 12 step valentine. I'm touched, Theodore. But, um - where's the check?
Ted: That's about the response I expected!
[When Ted leaves, Brian speed-dials Justin's cell and gets a message.]
Brian: The point of having a cell phone is that you leave it on! Where the f*ck are you?
[Justin is at a f*ring range, watching Cody sh**t at a paper target.]
Justin: You're a really good sh*t.
Cody: I practiced a lot when I was a kid. Tin cans in the backyard, rabbits -
Justin: You had a g*n when you were a kid?
Cody: I had a six-sh**t partner before I had a two-wheeler. Where I grew up, everyone did.
Justin: I wasn't even allowed to have a cap p*stol.
Cody: Try it.
Justin: (shakes head) No, thanks.
Cody: Come on. Don't be a sissy. You're right-handed, right?
Justin: Yup.
Cody: Okay. So hold it with your right hand. Now. Line up your sight with your right eye and pull the trigger.
[Justin aims at the target but his hand starts shaking.]
Cody: Nervous?
Justin: It's my gimp hand. From when I was bashed. It acts up sometimes.
Cody: Okay. Then try this. Left hand to your wrist to steady it. Arms out straight. Spread your legs a bit. For balance. Now it's got a kick, so don't resist. Just ride it like the hottest piece of ass you ever had.
[Justin manages to squeeze off a sh*t.]
Justin: Wow. That was intense.
Cody: How the West was won. But next time - try to h*t the target.
[Justin tries again, with no more success than the first time.]
Justin: Shit! It's harder than I thought.
Cody: I'll tell you my little secret. See how it has no face? Well, I give it one. Someone who deserves a b*llet between the eyes.
Justin: Like who?
Cody: Like Wayne. Captain of the football team. He and his jock buddies held me down while he carved "f*g" on my ass with a penknife. Bang! Or Mr. Mackley, who made me show it to the class. Or my father, who slapped me across the face when I told him what they did. Bang!
Justin: Sounds like you have no shortage of targets.
Cody: I bet you've got a few, too.
[Justin picks up the g*n again, aims, fires. This time he scores a direct h*t.]
Cody: Woohoo! Works every time. So. Who were you thinking of?
[Michael shows Ben the latest issue of Rage in the Diner]
Ben: "Suck your own dick, f*ck!" This is some pretty strong stuff.
Michael: Well, that's how Justin wanted it. He insisted that it had to be that way.
[Naturally, Busybody Deb has to put her two cents in.]
Debbie: Jesus Christ what the hell is that? Looks like those kid get's a dick stuffed into his mouth.
Michael: Right side up, to.
Debbie: Gratuitous man sex is one thing. Personally, I don't mind it.
Michael: We know!
Debbie: But gratuitous v*olence - that's another story.
Ben: Well, actually, I don't consider it gratuitous. In fact, I'd argue that disturbing as these images may be, they are a legitimate expression of every gay man's outrage at being victimized, and therefore can be justified as a passionate and uncompromising work of art.
Debbie: Well, maybe so, but he's still got his dick stuffed in his mouth!
[The dick-stuffed-in-mouth debate is interrupted by Vic's arrival.]
Debbie: Where the f*ck have you been? I was about to issue a missing persons report!
Vic: Do you know how much work it takes unpacking a new place?
Debbie: Well, you forgot to unpack your phone? So? When do I get to see it?
Vic: Sis, we haven't even gotten the dishtowels yet.
[Deb gives him a look. He knows better than to argue with that look.]
Vic: But as soon as it's presentable, you'll be our first official guest.
Debbie: (calls over to Ben and Michael) Hear that, boys? I am the first official guest!
Michael: (to Ben) Did you mean what you said about it being an uncompromising work of art?
Ben: Absolutely. Every word! And I hope you'll be as honest with me about my book. It's OK, it's OK. I just gave it to you a few days ago. I shouldn't have said anything.
Michael: No, it's not that, it's - it's just that I'm not finished reading it. But as soon as I do -
Ben: Oh. (Nods)
[We can tell that Michael's hiding something, but apparently Ben is clueless.]
[Mel and Lindsay's Happy Fun House.]
Mel: Even if I agree to let Larry take over the case Jeanette would never agree.
Lindsay: Of course not, they're not just clients, they are friends.
Mel: And they depending on me! They gave me their trust. I gave them the promised. There is no reason why I shouldn't representing them!
Lindsay: You don't have convince me. There's a bond, a sisterhood, that some people simply can't understand.
Mel: Mainly men.
[Enter Emmett, who's in the process of moving out.]
Emmett: Men? Did someone mention men?
Lindsay: One in particular.
Mel: My partner, Larry Jacobs.
Emmett: Oh, those high-powered, aggressive Jewish lawyer types don't do it for me. (To Mel) Except for you, of course!
Lindsay: You got everything?
Emmett: Except for you guys.
Mel: You're gonna be just fine.
Emmett: I know, I know. I'm a big boy. Some say very big. So there's no reason for me not to have my own place.
Lindsay: Once you fix it up, you're gonna love it.
Emmett: Oh, it came already furnished and ready to move in. All I have to do is unpack.
Mel: There ya go. Even better. Go on, goodbye.
Emmett: Well, I guess that's it.
Lindsay: [to Gus] Say bye-bye to Uncle Emmett.
[Emmett departs, not looking too sure of himself.]
Lindsay: Alone at least.
Mel: Aren't you forgetting someone? And someone else is on the way. We're not alone for the next 18 years.
[Daphne's apartment. Cody and Justin are there]
Daphne: You went to a f*ring range?
Cody: Once he got the hang of it, he was awesome!
Daphne: I thought you hated g*n. You even signed that petition in high school.
Justin: I still do. You wouldn't believe what it felt like.
Cody: See that b*llet hole right between the eyes? He was thinking of someone right before he fired it. But he wouldn't tell me who.
Daphne: Bet it was Chris Hobbes. Oops!
[She catches Justin's look.]
Justin: Daphne --
Daphne: Thought so.
Cody: Who's he?
Justin: He's this high school jock I jerked off once. After that, he didn't like me very much.
Daphne: Oh, I always suspected he was secretly in love with you.
Cody: He sounds like some of the assholes I went to school with. They were probably afraid of being q*eer.
Justin: Yeah, whatever he was, when he saw me at the prom dancing with Brian -
Daphne: Which, for the record, was f*ck real!
Justin: He freaked. Afterwards he followed me to the parking garage with a baseball bat. He smashed my skull. I was in a coma, then rehab, for almost six months.
Daphne: Can you believe that creep practically went free? A slap on the wrist. He went to community service at the AIDS hospice.
Cody: I can believe it.
Justin: Last time I saw him, he was there, mopping the floor. He said I'd end up just like the others. That I deserved to die.
Cody: I hope you f*cking b*at the shit out of him!
Justin: I was too afraid to say anything. So I just stood there.
[Emmett's new apartment is a cheap knock-off of the loft. He takes Brian and Michael on a tour of the place. Brian keeps dropping crumbs from a sandwich he's eating.]
Emmett: So, what do you say?
Michael: It's great, Em. I'm very happy for you.
Emmett: Oh, careful Brian. You're dripping.
Brian: Uh, you know this place is uh,... basely reminisence of somewhere I... my loft.
Emmett: Brian! I ask you to be careful.
Brian: You call that crack chair a Barcelona? You wanna bite?
Michael: No.
Brian: You can eat my sandwhich, too.
Michael: Cut it out. I told Ben a lie. A big, fat lie.
Brian: (amused) OK, who'd you f*ck?
Michael: No one! I finished his book three days ago and I told him I'm still reading it.
Brian: That's it? That's the big fat lie? A big fat lie is "I won't come in your mouth."
[Emmett calls from the other room]
Emmett: Just don't come on the sofa!
Michael: He wants me to be honest, to tell him what I really think.
Brian: And what do you really think?
Michael: It was kinda boring.
Brian: Kinda like him? He's your partner, Mikey. You've gotta sit him down, take his hand and say, "Honey, it's a steaming piece of horseshit!" (Brian is laughing)
Michael: Could you say that to Justin?
Brian: Yeah. But fortunately, the lad's a genius!
Michael: (sarcastically) You are so helpful.
Brian: And you're pathetic. If you can't be honest, what kind of relationship do you have? Just a cheap imitation.
[Emmett looks up from scrubbing his cheap imitation sofa.]
[Melanie cuts in Larry's office. She see Jeanette and Anna sitting in front of him.]
Mel: Larry, the courtney room...
Larry: Come in, Mel.
Mel: Hi guys. What... do we have a meeting schedule?
Larry: Mel, Jeanette and Anna are discuss the case.
Mel: Without me?
Jeanette: Mel, we...
Anna: Mel, we know how conserative this new judge is.
Jeanette: Believe me. It was nothing to do with you.
Anna: We love you. Even more than that.
Jeanette: It's just... We feel...
Mel: I'll spare you the explanation and the tears. I understand, completely.
[She leaves the office.]
[Cut to Michael staring straight at the camera. Michael is practicing his speech to Ben - out loud.]
Michael: Ben, I finished your book and you made some really interesting choices...
[Take two]
Michael: Ben, I finished your book and even if it's a little long in some places I'm sure that with some editing...
[Take three]
Michael: It's a great breed especially if you having trouble with sleeping.
[Take four]
Michael: Ben, I finished your book and...
Ben: You did?
Michael: Ben, what are you doin' here?
Ben: Well, I walk to the gym and I thoughed I took my head inside and say hello. So, you finished it?
Michael: Yeah, and I... I just wanna say...
[his cell phone rings.]
Michael: Excuse me. [he gets it.] Hi, ma. Sure, ma. OK, ma. Bye, ma. [he hangs up.] It was ma.
Ben: So, you just wanna say...
[A customer waits.]
Michael: Uh, wait. $3,50.
[The customer smash his petty cash on the counter. Michael take his time and counting it.]
Michael: 1...2...3... 10...20...30... 50. Come by anytime. You know I can use the change.
customer: Yeah, sure.
[the customer leaves.]
Ben: About the book.
Michael: All I can say is... [Ted comes in] Teddy!
Ted: Hey. Oh, I hope I don't interrupting you.
Ben: Not at all.
Ted: Good. Because I've got something for each of you. You don't have to read it now.
Ben: Great.
Michael: I'd love to.
[Both open the letter and read it]
Michael: Teddy, that's so thoughtful and so brave and of course we've forgive you.
[Michael hugs Ted]
Ted: Thank you, guys. Oh, I've got a few more to delivers. So, I'll see you guys later?
Ben: Right.
[When Ted leaves, Ben closes and turns the Open sign to Closed. Michael is cornered.]
Ben: Now then. The book.
Michael: Right. Ben, I finished your book. And um - I loved it!
[Justin washing his face, staring at himself appraisingly in the mirror. Then he goes back to bedroom.]
Justin: What are you doing?
[Brian is sitting up in bed (shirtless) holding a cigarette in one hand and Justin's g*n in the other.]
Brian: Looky what I found! Sunshine's new playtoy.
Justin: You had no business going through my things.
Brian: I was looking for a light.
Justin: That's bullshit. You were snooping. Give it back! Careful!
Brian: Why? Is it loaded?
Justin: No. It's only meant to scare people.
Brian: For someone who's never seen a Western on principle, you have an awfully keen interest in firearms. Where'd you get it?
Justin: Cody gave it to me.
Brian: How thoughtful! What's next? A small nuclear device?
Justin: It's necessary that we have them. After what happened the other night, we could have been k*lled.
Brian: Play with this long enough and you will be.
Justin: Will you just hand it over -
Brian: You're not running around the streets with a concealed w*apon!
Justin: I told you -
Brian: "It's necessary!" So that you and Cody can be the Gay Avengers. Heroes of the resistance. Martyrs to the cause?
Justin: We're trying to stop v*olence before it happens.
Brian: (laughs) By starting it?
Justin: You wouldn't think it was so funny if you were the one who'd been bashed!
Brian: Nobody said it's funny.
Justin: They hate us! They want us d*ad! Now gimme the g*dd*mn g*n!
[He grabs it and walks out of the room.]
[Emmett and Debbie, new best friends, are shopping at a Bed, Bath and Beyond-type place. Emmett's buying stuff for his new apartment while Deb searches for a housewarming gift for Vic and Rodney.]
Emmett: Just what I'm looking for!
Debbie: What do you want with all those candles?
Emmett: Creating a invitement inviroment which entertain my... guests.
Debbie: You create a f*cking fireheads. Hey how about this for Rodney and Vic?
Emmett: Is there something where they can put it?
Debbie: Yeah, I hope so.
Emmett: I'm sorry, that I'm not that helpful.
Debbie: At least you can make a house in your home. My home is a house.
Emmett: I guess you miss him a lot, huh?
Debbie: Don't you dare ever tell him! I don't want him to feel bad for me.
Emmett: My lips are sealed. For that, anyway.
Debbie: It's just been a long time since I've lived alone. I'd forgotten how lonely it can get. Especially when you're older. You get used to having people around. To fight with. Laugh with. Bug the shit outta them. Nobody bugged the shit out of me like Vic.
[She picks up a hideous china dog.]
Debbie: Em, how about this?
Emmett: You know, that would look perfect in your place, but I'm not sure Vic would appreciate it.
[Deb looks puzzled but she puts the doggie back. Then she spies some dishtowels and gets all excited.]
Debbie: Dishtowels! He said they needed some! Look at this! (She holds up two with roosters on them.) Perfect for a pair of old cocks!
[Next up is one of those highly contrived, Brian-to-the- rescue-for-no-apparent-reason scenes.]
Lindsay: I'd try talking to her but she wouldn't listen. Now she wouldn't leave the bedroom.
Brian: Why the f*ck did you call me? I have no practical skills whatsoever in talking lesbians out of trees!
Lindsay: But you do have a remarkable ability to put things in perspective, to see them in a purely objective, practical way.
[He allows her to pull him up the stairs. He enters the bedroom. Mel's on the bed.]
Brian: Are you gonna lie there sharpening your claws and feeling sorry for yourself or are you gonna get your ass out of bed?
Mel: Jesus Christ, you could at least knock!
Brian: But if I'd knocked, you'd have told me to f*ck off.
Mel: f*ck off!
Brian: Too late! Now then. [He grabs a stuffed animal and offers it to Mel. In voice of mock concern] Show me on the doll where the bad man touched you!
[Melanie, never known for her sense of humor, merely launches into one of her strident rants.]
Mel: You wanna know where he touched me? Right here! In the gut! You wanna know why? Because a lesbian couple with a child just fired their lesbian lawyer with a child so that some straight white male assh*le could argue their case!
Brian: Makes sense to me!
Mel: Why I aren't surprised?
Brian: The courts have always been partial to the voice of the straight white male assh*le.
Mel: Yeah, but this was my case!
Brian: It's business, Mel. Suck it up and move on! (To Lindsay) Was that objective and practical enough for you?
Mel: Do you believe this?
Lindsay: Actually, I agree with him. As much as I understand why you're upset, and believe me, I would be too, I also understand Jeannette and Anna's position. They had to do whatever they could to -
Mel: I don't want to hear it!
[She storms off. Lindsay looks at Brian, as if to say, "Thanks a lot!"]
Brian: Well, she's out of the bedroom!
[Justin tells Cody about Brian finding the g*n.]
Justin: He almost took it away from me.
Cody: Christ! Well, next time be more careful.
[Justin takes g*n out of his bag.]
Justin: Here. You keep it.
Cody: No, it's okay, I've got others. (But he takes it anyway.)
Justin: Others?
Cody: Some people collect stamps, others collect injustices. I collect these.
[They approach a construction site.]
Justin: What are we doing here?
Cody: Waiting for somebody.
Justin: A new posse member?
Cody: (laughs) Not exactly. Say, don't you know that guy? (Points)
[Justin stares like he's seeing a ghost. It's Chris Hobbes. It clearly takes great effort for him to remain outwardly calm, but his insides must be churning.]
Justin: How did you find him?
Cody: Looked him up in the phone book. Now you can tell him what a piece of shit he is.
[Hobbes walks right past them, not recognizing Justin, who doesn't say anything. But Cody isn't going to let this opportunity pass without a confrontation.]
Cody: Hobbes!
Justin: (to Cody) Don't!
Chris: (to Cody) Do I know you?
Cody: No. But I believe you know my friend.
Chris: Taylor? What the f*ck are you doing here?
[Justin says nothing.]
Chris: You looking for a job? I'm sorry, we don't have any openings. At least not the kind you like. f*g!
[He walks off in disgust.]
[Emmett has lit every damn one of those candles he bought. Aside from trying to scrub his trick's cum off the couch.]
Trick: Sorry. I didn't mean to sh**t so far.
[He dresses on.]
Emmett: You have a remarkable aim.
Trick: Clay says it's a trick.
Emmett: A trick from a trick. You're leaving already?
Trick: I'm get back. My roommate's are waiting.
Emmett: Uh, you have a roommate?
Trick: He has a big popcorn, grow up on the sofa and watch "Friends".
Emmett: It's nice.
Trick: We share everything. Clothes. Talk about the guys who we've f*cked. So, you live alone?
Emmett: Yeah, the first time. I never afford it.
Trick: It's a great place. But I think even when I can afford it I still will live with someone. But that's me. I like to hear that sounds of someones breathing. See ya.
Emmett: See ya.
[Melanie comes home, still in a pissed-off mood.]
Lindsay: You hungry?
Mel: No, thank you.
Lindsay: Have you eating something.
Mel: I said no thank you.
Lindsay: Well as long as you safe and sound I guess I go back in bed.
Mel: I could understand Brian siding with Larry and Jeanette and Anna. It's no surprise. But you!
Lindsay: I'm entitled to express my opinion.
Mel: You betrayed me!
Lindsay: Do you really think I would ever betray you? I'm simply say that I understand Jeannette and Anna's position but it's usually don't say this about you! As this were about Gus you know g*dd*mn well we would ever do what it takes to get him back. Even that meant f*ring a friend and hiring a straight men.
Mel: Not just a friend - a lesbian mother defending another lesbian mother.
Lindsay: This isn't about that! It's about Jeanette's son. What Brian said it may not be right, it may not be fair but it's how it is.
[Justin, Daphne and Cody at Daphne's apartment. Justin is berating himself for not standing up to Hobbes.]
Justin: I'm such a f*cking coward!
Daphne: You should never have gone to see Chris Hobbes in the first place. Why are you digging up this shit all over again?
Cody: Because it was never finished! It's still not. You've gotta go back there and face him.
Justin: No f*cking way!
Cody: It's the only way! We'll pay him a little visit tomorrow night. After work.
[At Babylon. A martial combat g*ng shows something on the stage. Ben and Michael find Brian sitting in a corner drinking sh*ts.]
Michael: What're you doing?
Brian: (Raises sh*t glass) Thinking!
Ben: In Babylon? That's a first!
Brian: (to Ben) Is it better to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or take arms and by opposing end them?
Michael: Huh?
Ben: Shakespeare.
Brian: An eye for an eye - or turn the other cheek? Fight f*re with f*re or do unto others as you would have them do - you know the rest. So. Which is it?
Ben: It depends on the circumstances.
Brian: You're saying there's no such thing as absolute right or wrong? That morality is merely a matter of circumstance?
Michael: What the f*ck are we talking about?
Brian: Say somebody bashes you and nearly kills you. Does that give you the right to go out and do the same?
Ben: Of course not.
Brian: Why?
Michael: Because two wrongs don't make a right.
Ben: Besides, there are laws.
Brian: But what if the law failed to protect you? What if the law doesn't give a shit? Then what?
Michael: Then I guess you'd have to take the law into your own hands.
Ben: (appalled) No no no! v*olence is never a moral option.
Brian: But doing nothing, letting someone bash your brains in, is? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.
[Ben and Michael wander off to h*t the dance floor. Ben just won't let this book thing die.]
Ben: So just for my own curiosity, you thought my book was slow? Dull? Boring?
Michael: What? I never said that!
Ben: Just for my own curiosity.
Michael: Certain parts felt a little long, that's all.
Ben: Which parts?
Michael: I don't remember!
Ben: Try!
Michael: It was just an overall feeling.
Ben: Overall...plot? Characters? Theme? What?
Michael: I don't know! I guess sometimes I didn't know where the story was going.
Ben: Uh-huh. (He's no longer smiling.)
Michael: And I wasn't quite sure what the main character wanted -
Ben: Uh-huh.
Michael: Or how it was all supposed to add up.
Ben: This isn't the time or place to talk about it.
Michael: You're the one who brought it up.
Ben: In fact, I never should have asked you to read it in the first place.
Michael: Why do you say that?
Ben: Let's face it, you don't exactly have a literary background.
Michael: Excuse me if I didn't go to Harvard or Yale!
Ben: It's not your fault that you're more justice league than Ivy League.
[Mel and Lindsays house. Mel comes upstairs.]
Lindsay: So, aren't you gonna to work today?
Mel: What for? Mail come?
Lindsay: I haven't check it yet.
[She opens the door and Ted stops by with his amends letter.]
Ted: Oh, then I didn't mail to ya.
Mel: C'mon.
[Mel goes out for a walk with him. He commiserates with her.]
Ted: When Wertshafter fired me, I had the comfort of knowing he was a bigoted straight man with an enlarged prostate but in your case - dumped by two fellow lesbians! Your sense of betrayal must be crushing, staggering, all-consuming.
Mel: Thanks, I feel so much better now!
Ted: I want to give you this. It's for Lindsay and you. I'm making my amends. I've written them to everyone. Everyone, that is, except Emmett. I just don't know what to say, except that I wish I could change - everything.
Mel: I'll give this to Lindz. I'm sure she'll be as proud of you as I am.
[They hug.]
Ted: Thanks, Mel. You know what's funny? When I was growing up, my father had the serenity prayer taped to the refrigerator. He wasn't in AA. He didn't touch a drop. He just liked it. I saw it ten times a day. Knew it by heart, of course. It never meant anything. Now - it's been my salvation. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
[Brian returns to his office]
Cynthia: They new layouts are on your desk. And Leo Brown is expecting your call. Oh, and a young woman, she said she knows you waits in your office right away.
Brian: Why, Daphne, what an unexpected surprise! You look particularly enchanting today!
Daphne: Mind if you h*t on me later? I have to talk to you.
[Cut briefly to Justin smoking and looking at the paper target on the wall.]
[Back to Brian's office.]
Daphne: ...but I thought you should know.
Brian: Thanks. It adds up. But there's not much I can do.
Daphne: Can't you talk to him?
Brian: Been there, tried that. Hasn't done much good.
Daphne: What if he gets into a fight? What if he gets hurt?
Brian: Then at least he'll know that he stood up. Fought back. That he didn't run away.
[Melanie has decided to stop tilting at windmills. She interrupts Larry's meeting with Jeanette and Anna. They look at her a bit apprehensively, but she's come to make peace.]
Mel: Excuse me, Larry. I just stopped by to say that I understand your decision and I don't take it personally and that I'm willing to offer my assistance and support, considering the importance of this case, it would be remiss of me not to.
[She turns to leave.]
Larry: Mel? We could use your assistance and support.
[She comes back into the office, ready to be a team player.]
[Lonely Debbie's all alone watching TV and pigging out on Haagen Dazs. Someone knocks on the door. Lonely Emmett drops by.]
Emmett: Hey, Deb.
Debbie: Hey, Em, honey.
Emmett: You don't mind if I'm dropping by?
Debbie: No, I'm glad your here. Come on in.
Emmett: So, how's Vic founds your gift?
Debbie: Just say he didn't expecting me so soon. You want some icecream?
Emmett: Oh god, yeah. I'm missing the wip cream.
[she gets it under the blanket.]
Debbie: So, what do you doin' wandering around? So, when it's a nice quietly evening f*cking your brains out?
Emmett: Well, it's not what a f*cking brains out can do.
Debbie: You have temperature, honey?
Emmett: It's nice to have someone to talk to. That'a all.
Debbie: I know what you're mean.
Emmett: I'm walking over here I was thinking Ben and Michael share their apartment, now the best times are over. Just siting on the sofa after giving some trick the booth. We're eating chips, ice cream. Beside we're fall asleep with our head on each other leaps.
Debbie: How about ice cream with two spoon's?
Emmett: What kind is that?
Debbie: With chocolate chips.
Emmett: What are you watching?
Debbie: "The Bad and the Beautiful"
Emmett: Oh my god. That's my all-time fav.
Debbie: So, how was your last trick?
Emmett: Big dick, tie break.
Debbie: The best guide!
[Michael comes home to find Ben revising his literary masterpiece.]
Michael: I have some chicken. You're hungry?
Ben: Maybe later.
Michael: You're looking on your book?
Ben: Rewriting the boring parts.
Michael: I thoughed this was boring to [he helds another book in his hand]. And it's supposed to be a classic. Let's face it - if I knew the difference between a great book and a lously one I would have gone to Harvard or Yale instead of goin' to Community College for a couple of months.
Ben: I heard from my publisher.
Michael: You did?
Ben: They had a few comments of their own.
Michael: See? That's what you need, a professional opinion from people who know what they're talking about.
Ben: They felt the main character's motivation was unclear, that the story was overly complex and convoluted, and that thematically, it lacked force and focus. So in other words, exactly what you said. So they passed.
Michael: I'm sorry Ben.
Ben: For what? Being honest?
[Justin and Cody confront Hobbes as he comes home from work.]
Chris: Christ! Taylor? What are you doing here? Stalking me? You f*cking creeps, get outta here or I'll call the police!
Cody: Not until he gets what he came for.
Chris: What's that? You wanna suck my cock?
Justin: I want you to apologize.
Chris: For what?
Justin: For bashing me. For causing me brain damage and permanent injury. For giving me nightmares every night for two years. For filling me with fear every time I walk out the door. For treating me like a subhuman who doesn't deserve to live.
Chris: That's what you are, Taylor. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to kick back and have a beer.
Cody: Tell him you're sorry.
Chris: Get outta my way! f*g!
[He shoves them aside and walks off towards the house. Cody gets the g*n out and hands it to Justin. Justin takes it and they follow Hobbes. Justin points the g*n.]
Justin: Don't. f*ck. With. Me!
Chris: Whoa, man, just take it easy.
Justin: Get on your knees.
Chris: What the f*ck are you doing?
Cody: Do what he says!
Justin: I said, get on your knees!
Chris: OK, OK.
[He gets on his knees. Justin stands in front of him with the g*n pointed at his head.]
Chris: There. You scared me, see? Now put the g*n away.
Justin: First say, I'm sorry.
[Hobbes hesitates.]
Justin: Say it.
Chris: I'm sorry.
Justin: For bashing you.
Chris: For bashing you.
Justin: For causing you brain damage and permanent injury.
Chris: For causing you brain damage and permanent injury.
Justin: Now suck on this! (The barrel of the g*n)
Cody: That's it! f*ck yeah!
Justin: Go on. Suck it.
[Hobbes is crying.]
Justin: SUCK IT!
[Hobbes complies.]
Cody: This is beautiful, man. This is what you've been wanting to do all this time.
Justin: Now you know what it feels like. The fear that all f*g feel all their lives. Walking down the street, holding hands - BECAUSE OF ASSHOLES LIKE YOU! And you know what? (He cocks the trigger) We're tired of it.
Cody: Do it. Do it!
[Justin almost does it. But he takes the g*n out of Hobbes' mouth.]
Cody: What the f*ck are you doing? You can't stop now!
Justin: Get up. Get up. Go inside.
Cody: You can't let him go!
Justin: And I wouldn't call the police. You don't want to have to tell them a couple of f*g made you shit your pants.
[Hobbes goes inside.]
Cody: You coward. You f*cking coward, you let him get away! You had him! You could've had him, but you were too chickenshit! You're like all the other f*g! You're too afraid! You're all cowards and they know it! You could have ended it! f*g! You're no different than the rest of them! You deserve what you get! And you wanna know why? Because you're all f*cking pussies, that's why!
[Justin walks away with Cody still yelling at him. In fact, we can hear Cody yelling as the credits roll.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x05 - How Far You Can Go"} | foreverdreaming |
[The opening scene is a party at Kinnetic. Brian is back in his natural position - King of the World. He's got enough ready cash to give Lindsay a check to reimburse the citizens of Liberty Avenue for their handout - er, donation.]
Charlie: That new campaign you're creat is awesome.
Brian: Thanks, Charlie.
Lindsay: Are these the people who made you rich? [she hugs him.]
Brian: Yeah, god loves me. And here is your cheque.
Lindsay: Brian!
Brian: The Concerned Citizens For the Truth thanks the Liberty Avenue for their support and help.
Lindsay: Brian, these were a gift. We're say thank you.
Brian: I know, but it's my turn. Besides, you know me. I only spend it on booze, debauchery and the Armani spring collection.
Lindsay: Well, in this case.
[Cut to another table. Mel discuss something with Ted.]
Mel: Case closed. Jeanette and Anne had their son back and it was a fair decission from the judge.
Ted: Congratulations, Mel.
Mel: I owe it all to you.
Ted: Me?
Mel: You remined me to have the courage to change the things I can and wisdom to accept thing I can't.
Ted: [looks to Emmett] Yeah, I still working on that myself.
[Lonely, self-pitying Emmett has moved in with lonely, self-pitying Debbie.]
Emmett: Live alone is to f*cking lonely.
Debbie: To lonely f*cking, right Em?
Emmett: [to Justin] Now she's livin in sin.
Debbie: I rather cross the hall from it.
Justin: Make sure that the toilette seats down. Deb gets a little touchie.
Debbie: Especially two o'clock in the morning. I'm almost fall in.
[cut to Vic, Michael and Ben.]
Vic: The ingratitude from the publisher - rejecting your second rework.
Ben: Well, what comes to bottom line is that the things are loyality.
Michael: You'll find another publisher.
[Vic starres to Debbie. And Debbie starres to Vic. Brian clinks on a glass. It's speech time!]
Lindsay: Attention, everyone!
Justin: (whispers to Ted) He's gonna give a speech.
[Brian gets up on the podium. Lindsay is up there, too.]
Brian: I'd like to thank everyone. My clients, my employees (he pulls Cynthia onto the podium), my friends (he extends a hand to Justin, who steps up too) - for being here tonight to help launch Kinnetic. [cheering] It hasn't been easy. They say that the market is shrinking. They say that it's the wrong time to start a new agency. Well, I say - don't believe a f*ck' word. Especially in advertising!
[Everybody laughs and applauds. Brian kisses Justin.]
Guy: That guy's got balls!
Debbie: You don't know the half of 'em!
[Brian opens a bottle of champagne which sprays all over the place. Wild cheers and shouts.]
[The next day. It looks as though Vic would like to kiss and make up with Debbie, but when he and Rodney show up at the diner she refuses to wait on them.]
Vic: Sis.
[She rushes away.]
Vic: Sis!
[She rushes away again.]
Vic: Waitress!
Debbie: Sharone, you've table number five. I'm busy.
Sharone: Sure Deb. What can I get you?
Vic: My f*cking sister.
[Meanwhile, Mikey rushes in with some exciting news for Justin.]
Michael: Justin! Justin, check this out!
Justin: What is it?
Michael: An e-mail and look who it's from.
Justin: Brett Keller. The director?
Michael: Yeah, red man two. "Farmacy cowboys". He says he's a big fan from Rage.
Justin: That's awesome!
Michael: Yeah, especially from the part that says he wants make it into a movie.
Justin: Are you serious? A movie?
[Deb walks by and hear the last sentence.]
Debbie: A movie? Who's makin' a movie?
Michael: Brett Keller (reading from e-mail) would like to float the possibility of making your brilliant comic book into a live action feature.
Debbie: Oh my god! I always said you'd be rich and famous! I can't breathe!
Michael: Ma, sit down.
Justin: Sharone, can you bring some water?
Vic: Are you alright, sis?
Debbie: I'm perfectly fine. You're only need to concern for yourself.
Michael: Brett Keller wants to make some movie about Rage.
Vic: Wow, congratulations, you two. When's the premiere?
Debbie: He's taking his mother. You can ran until the blockbuster.
[A hurt Vic disappears.]
Michael: When do you gonna let up Uncle Vic?
Debbie: I don't want to discuss that about my brother. I'm still waiting on that slice slot!
Michael: Because he didn't invite you to his dinner party?
Debbie: It's not just that. He obviously doesn't want me around him.
Michael: You know that's not true! He has his own life now, that doesn't mean he loves you any less. Remember what you always told me? "Blood is thicker than marinara sauce."
[She looks pained, but quite not as angry.]
[Lindsay and her boss. T Lindsay's boss is looking at some slides. Lindsay is reading an article about a famous New York artist, Sam Auerbach, who's in town to paint a mural on some building.]
Chief: I though we may arrange that landscape according the season. Lindsay?
Lindsay: Sure.
Chief: I think I was thinking of we could arrage the landscapes according the seas.
Lindsay: Sure. Great idea(!)
Chief: Are you reading a house book?
Lindsay: The new Auerback.
Chief: I start it yesterday to pay a peak. Great amazing.
Lindsay: I always love those work. He's always a challencenging. Hey Sidney, what do you think we're doing a exhibit about his work? We can junction with the mirror.
Chief: You're dream come true. Except that it won't work.
Lindsay: I have no harm to asking himself. My house book says "take a chance".
Chief: I suggests that it's time to get out of the stars and get back down to earth. Now, I say we should arrange the landscapes in the seas.
[Justin drops by Kinnetic to tell Brian the good news. Well, at least Cynthia's excited. Brian is just - busy.]
Justin: He wants to make Rage into a movie!
Cynthia: That's fantastic!
Brian: (to Cynthia, handing her paper) Are these rates firm?
Cynthia: As my abs! (To Justin) I bought one of those machines.
Justin: Did you hear what I said?
Brian: He wants to make it into a movie. (To Cynthia) Tell them we'll book the next three issues if they knock off 15%
Justin: Aren't you proud of me? I'm gonna be rich!
Brian: Good. Now you can pay back the thousands I spent on your aborted education.
Justin: Who needs school when you have a pictah deal?
Brian: You'd still have a degree.
Justin: I already have an idea for the first feature. Assuming of course, that there're going to be numerous sequels. JT gets even with his bashers, goes to Hollywood, and becomes a stah!
Brian: (deadpan and sarcastic) Wow, where'd you get that brainstorm?
Justin: How about we go to Babylon later and celebrate?
Brian: Sorry, it's a school night. (Justin turns to go, disappointed.) Cynthia, when is the deadline on that run?
Cynthia: Noon tomorrow.
Brian: Hey, Spielberg!
[Justin turns around.]
Brian: One drink.
[Justin leaves, cocky strut back in place, swinging his jacket.]
[Emmett is painting Deb's front door red. Deb brings him hot chocolate with marshmallows.]
Debbie: Here you go, honey. I put some marshmallows on top.
Emmett: I love marshmallows. I always though of angel balls.
Debbie: It's good you have them. [looking at the door] Wow, this is one f*cking red door.
Emmett: It's not f*cking red, it's mangora.
[Ted drops by.]
Debbie: Hey, Teddy.
Ted: Hey Deb.
Debbie: Honey, can I give you some hot chocolate?
Ted: Uh, no. I'm not staying.
Debbie: Well, if you change your mind I got a first fresh bag of angel's balls.
[Debbie goes inside, leaving Ted and Emmett alone.]
Emmett: Well, aren't you gonna make some caustic remark?
Ted: About what?
Emmett: My moving in with Deb. Now Emmett's got his own personal f*g hag!
Ted: It's a great idea. Living alone would've driven you nuts, and I'm sure Deb enjoys having a new roomie, so I'd say all in all it's an ideal arrangement.
Emmett: Almost as perfect as your working for Brian.
Ted: I told him he's betting on a loser, but it won't be the first time a long sh*t came from behind, I guess.
Emmett: We'll call you Seabiscuit.
Ted: As part of my recovery, I'm trying to make amends for my behavior, so I've written letters apologizing to everyone. Michael, Ben, Brian, Mel and Lindz...you.
Emmett: Last as always.
Ted: Dammit, Emmett, you know you're not last. Or least.
Emmett: It's very admirable, Ted, admitting your mistakes. Did everyone forgive you?
Ted: So far.
Emmett: Must make you feel better.
Ted: I can't tell you how relieved I am.
Emmett: Good for you. But what's reading this letter gonna do for me? Hmm? Will it take away all the damage that's been done? All the pain that's been inflicted? Will it make up for me feeling inadequate and helpless? Or erase all those memories of you descending into your addiction while you tried to drag me down with you? Sorry, Teddy, you'll just have to get your feel-good fix from someone else.
[He hands the envelope back to Ted and goes back to painting the door. Ted looks crushed.]
[At the Bruckner-Novotny household, Ben is revising his book, rewriting the boring parts - in other words, the whole damn thing. Michael and Hunter are watching a Brett Keller action movie.]
Michael: First I pay off my mom's house. And then I'll buy a house for us. Then I buy a car.
Hunter: A Porsche Carrera.
Michael: It's only to obvious.
Hunter: Don't worry, right Ben?
Ben: Right, pal. I don't know which fantasy's crazier, the one you're watching or the one you're telling.
Michael: Why's it so crazy?
Ben: Just because he says he wants to make it into a movie doesn't mean it will ever see the light of day.
Michael: I don't see why not.
Ben: Those guys talk big but see if they deliver.
Hunter: Who's gonna play Rage?
Michael: Tom Cruise. Brad Pitt.
Hunter: Those geezers? You gotta get Ashton Kutcher.
Michael: Where you going?
Ben: Some of us non-Hollywood types have a faculty meeting in the morning.
Michael: Stay and watch for a few minutes. (Seductively) I'll sit on your lap.
[Lindsay seeks out Famous Artist and World-Class Jerk Sam Auerbach, who is perched high atop some scaffolding in the lobby of an office building, working on his mural and yelling for bagels.]
Lindsay: Excuse me, I'm looking for Mr.Auerbach.
Sam: You call this a bagel?!
Clerk: His mighty presents is everywhere.
Sam: A lot wouldn't be cut on this! [he's threwing the bagels]
Clerk: Sorry, Sam. [to Lindz] If I were you, I would run as fast as I can.
Sam: Is someone who buy me a real bagel?
Clerk: On the way, Sam.
Lindsay: Mr.Auerbach?
Sam: Who are you?
Lindsay: My name is Lindsay Petersen. Mr.Auerbach, I'm a tremendious fan or your work. I think you're a brilliant painter.
Sam: I know, I know. If you excuse me for a moment. I got a pie as a son of a bitch.
Lindsay: I'll speak quickly.
Sam: I try to hold it.
Lindsay: Thank you. I'm from the Blume galery. We're hoping you might interesting to show of your recent work. Perhaps a new drawings from you? I feel the personal tough is always the best.
Sam: Corinna, honey. Could you please take these brushes up there for me?
Corinna: Sure.
[He smacks her on the ass.]
Sam: Now that's what I call the personal touch.
[Cut to Ted and Blake leaving a 12-step meeting at the rehab.]
Ted: When I listen Mona one more time how she misses her pill, I shove her mouth and throw about myself.
Blake: There is a lesson in everybody's story.
Ted: Today were a bored audience.
Blake: Just keep coming.
Ted: I know, I know.
Blake: Just one more steps and it works out.
Ted: Here, this is where my steps are leading me. [he took his letter for Emmett out]
Blake: Sobriety, wholeness.
Ted: I don't mean that. Look, if what Emmett says is true and the only reason I'm writing these is so everybody can forgive me and I can feel good about myself, then it's really no different from the way I was using them before. In which case he was right not to accept it.
Blake: Look, I know it's upsetting. The person you wanted most to hear you refused to listen. But you can't be responsible for his reaction.
Ted: Spare me the AA bullshit, would ya?
Blake: You offered him your truth.
Ted: Yeah. (Sarcastically) My truth.
Blake: And that's all that matters.
Ted: Well, if that's all that matters, how come you've never offered me your truth?
[Blake has no answer for that. He needs to start practicing what he preaches.]
Ted: You know, I'll skip the after-meeting coffee. I'll see you later.
[He walks off, leaving Blake standing there and the letter to Emmett lying on the sidewalk.]
[Debbie finally decides to forgive Vic for daring to get a life. She goes to see him and they make up. They hug.]
Vic: Sis, I'm so glad you're here.
Debbie: I guess I'll little over-reacted the other night but you know me...
Vic: Queen of the drama queens. So, how about a piece of kuglhopf? I just bake it.
Debbie: It's what I miss. You're kuglhopf.
Vic: I baked an extra one - for you. I'm sorry for this, sis. You know that's the last thing I ever wannted to do.
Debbie: I know that, honey.
Vic: Sister, I entitled my own life.
Debbie: I said you weren't!
Vic: Especially after all it took for me to get it.
Debbie: You and me both!
Vic: So let's be happy that we each finally have our own lives.
Debbie: Well, you certainly do. A sweet little apartment and a boyfriend-
Vic: Life partner.
Debbie: Life partner.
Vic: It's a miracle.
Debbie: Of course, it takes a miracle worker to make a miracle happen. And I'm not just talking about the good Lord above.
Vic: I know, Sis, I know. How about a piece of kugelhoff?
Debbie: I'm talking sheer will and hard work and sacrifices. Lots of sacrifices. You know, like nursing you myself when your health insurance ran out. Cleaning up your vomit and wiping your ass.
Vic: Jesus Christ, if I have to hear about you wiping my ass one more time -
Debbie: Well, if I had to do it, you could f*ck' hear about it! I mean, who else would have done it if it wasn't for me? If I didn't take you in, where would you have gone? What would have happened to you?
[Vic is becoming more and more annoyed.]
Debbie: I think we both know the answer to that, so I'm just saying. Don't forget who put their life on hold so that you one day could live yours.
Vic: I'll never forget and I'll always be grateful. But I never asked or expected you to sacrifice your life.
Debbie: Well, how else was it gonna happen? By magic? I'd be damned if I was gonna let that disease get you, not as long as I had one ounce of strength left. Why else do you think I did it?
Vic: I thought you did it for me, Mama.
Debbie: What the hell is that supposed to mean? You think I did it for me?
Vic: It gave you a sense of purpose, a way to feel good about yourself.
Debbie: You f*cking little ingrate!
Vic: Look, this is my house. You don't talk to me that way!
Debbie: Your house! Aren't you suddenly high and mighty! I'm not even surprised. You took what you needed and the first chance you got, it was, "So long, sucker!"
Vic: That's not true!
Debbie: The hell it isn't! You used me!
Vic: And you used me. I think you'd better leave.
Debbie: Don't even bother asking, cause you know what? I'm already gone!
Vic: Good. Don't bother coming back until you say you're sorry.
Debbie: And don't you worry because I'm never coming back. I don't give a shit if I ever see you again. [She turns to leave, then turns around for a parting sh*t] Oh, excuse me! You want an apology? Here's my apology: f*ck you, little brother. f*ck. YOU.
[She stomps off. Vic looks like he's about to cry.]
[Under blue lights at Babylon, Brian and Justin look a little bored and more than a little drunk. Brian kicks Justin's foot to get his attention.]
Brian: You know the problem with our extracurricular one-f*ck only policy?
Justin: Is that after awhile you start asking yourself, 'Am I doing this because I want to do it or am I doing it because I need to do it? And if I need to do it, is it to prove to myself that I'm still young and attractive? Or cause I think I'm unworthy of being loved?'
Brian: Or maybe it's because I've already had every f*ck guy in this city.
[The camera pans to a guy who looks like nothing special at all. But he's f*ck by Brian and that's all that matters here.]
Justin: What about him?
Brian: Ah! The scent of fresh meat! The thrill of the k*ll.
Justin: Too bad, Simba! It's me he's checking out.
Brian: In your dreams!
Justin: You wanna bet?
Brian: What're the stakes?
Justin: If I win, you take me on an all-expense paid trip to Ibiza.
Brian: (laughs) It's pronounced I-bi-tha. And it's a long way to go for a bath house with sand.
Justin: And if you win?
Brian: If I win (laughs) - you go back to school.
Justin: No f*ck' way!
Brian: (shrugs) Your call.
[He starts to get up, but Justin pulls him back.]
Justin: Wait, wait! OK. You're on. Cause I know he was checking me out.
[They look around. The guy has disappeared.]
Justin: Shit. He's gone.
Brian: He who hesitates doesn't get laid!
[They chug their drinks.]
[Lindz and Mel getting ready for bed.]
Lindsay: The man is a pig. An absolut pig.
Mel: You know what they said about heros.
Lindsay: Who every said I've must admit him? I wasn't a d*ke and darving on the nearest loft.
Mel: And it's right here, baby.
Lindsay: You say I'm attractive, wouldn't you?
Mel: I have to shit my eyes everytime you walk into the room.
Lindsay: He look like through me, if I doesn't visible. You should have seen his trapped assistant.
Mel: Is that where you were wearing?
Lindsay: Did you ever had an disco Barbie?
Mel: Yes, I had. An doctor and it was an straight men's idea.
Lindsay: That's what she was wearing.
Mel: See, that's your answer.
Lindsay: You expected me to walk around and spend an extra dish town on a couple of posters?
Mel: I gave you the same advice you gave me on the Irlond and Irlond case. It isn't right, it isn't fair. It just is.
Lindsay: I should my big mouth shut.
Mel: Look, he's a man, you're a woman. Gay, straight, it doesn't matter. We all have our powers of persuasion. If you want something out of him, you've gotta play his game. Cause he sure as hell isn't gonna play yours.
[At the comic store, Justin impatiently checks his e-mail.]
Justin: Shit.
Ben: Problem?
Justin: I just waiting for an answer of his e-mail. Michael and I wrote Keller back and told them we're interested in his offer.
Ben: I'm sure big-time directors have hundreds of calls and e-mails to answer. He'll get back to you when he can. That is, if he's still interested.
Justin: Why wouldn't he be?
Ben: You know how it is out in Hollywood. They're hot on something one minute and cold on it the next.
Justin: I'm sure he meant it.
Ben: I'm sure you're right. What if he turns it into a piece of shit?
Justin: We won't let him!
Ben: Once you sell it, he can do whatever he wants. Make Rage straight. (To Michael) Ready for lunch?
Justin: (To Michael) We need to get a lawyer.
Michael: For what?
Justin: Keller could turn Rage into a singing warthog and there's nothing we could do about it.
Michael: (to Ben) What have you been telling him?
Ben: To be careful, that's all.
Michael: It's not gonna happen. He told us he loves Rage just the way he is.
Justin: How do we know he's not just saying that?
Michael: Thank you. Thank you very much, Ben! Now if you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you would just butt out!
Ben: Be happy to.
[He leaves.]
[Emmett's potting plants when Blake stops by to drop off Ted's letter.]
Blake: It looks nice.
Emmett: Well, fairy have a special gift to remain everything. No matter how calm and transforming and it's something magical.
Blake: I think this is yours. [he shows Ted's letter]
Emmett: I always send that to the sender.
Blake: I know that from the deadline of foul.
Emmett: Well, I already told Teddy that I think it's great that he's doing the steps and writing those letters, but it's about him, not me.
Blake: That's where you're wrong. It's about you helping him and yourself to move on.
Emmett: I have moved on, thanks! And so has Ted, without any help or forgiveness from me.
Blake: He's not asking for your forgiveness. He's asking you to acknowledge his pain for having hurt you. After that it's up to him to forgive himself.
[He leaves the letter on the fence and walks off.]
[At the gym, a guy slips Justin his number. Justin pockets it and strolls over to Brian who's working out half-heartedly on one of the weight machines.]
Justin: That's the eighth one so far today! If I'd have known what a fleshpot this was, I would have signed up years ago. Not that I need it. I have the perfect twink physique.
[Suddenly Brian spots Fresh Meat from the other night and he's off in hot pursuit.]
Brian: Why wouldn't you brush your teeth?
[Justin, busy with his own potential trick, looks up and sees what's going on.]
Brian: Did you just start it?
Guy: Yeah, I'm new in town.
Brian: So long for Pittsburgh. My name is Brian.
Guy: Shane.
Brian: It's nice to see you, Shane.
[Justin immediately whispers something in the ear of the guy he's been talking to, who then walks over and whispers something to Fresh Meat. It works like a charm.]
Shane: It was nice talking to you. I got to go.
[Needless to say, Brian is not used to rejection, so he's a bit mystified. Then he sees Justin's smirk.]
Justin: The one that got away, huh?
Brian: And I was halfway up his ass.
Justin: He must have heard that nasty rumor. You know, the one about you having crabs?
Brian: I wonder how that happened?
Justin: Pack the sunscreen, we're going to Ibiza.
Brian: I wouldn't ditch my textbooks yet!
[Lindz goes back to see Auerbach. This time she brings him a bagel and dresses like a slut.]
Lindsay: Mr.Auerbach?
Auerbach: Yeah?
Lindsay: I wonder if you would eat bagel? Here is a good bagel. Go ahead, try them. You don't scream that loud for them.
Auerbach: Is this from you?
Lindsay: It's from Sally's. It's the best shop in town. By the way, I'm Lindsay Petersen. From the City Galery. We're meet briefly the other day.
Auerbach: That can't be right. Are you coming?
[He stalks at the ladder. Then he grabs her ass.]
Lindsay: [looks to the picture] Oh, it's incredible. It's a work of many people importants. I'm sorry, Mr.Auerbach...
Auerbach: Sam.
Lindsay: Sam, I wish you could reconsider so that we trade from your commission.
Sam: Take this brush. Some red, no.9. Nice, even strucks.
Lindsay: I can't believe I'm actually pained on a work from Sam Auerbach.
Sam: Keeps strucking.
[His hands in her ass, again.]
Lindsay: What are you doin'?
Sam: I told you, keep strucking.
[She turns around and brush some red shade on his face.]
Lindsay: Oh, my god. I'm so sorry. I think you should know, I'm happily married.
Sam: Yeah, who is the lucky guy?
Lindsay: He is not a guy, she is a woman.
Sam: All the better. Call her, we have a three-way.
[She punches him, which makes him lose his balance and he starts to fall backward, off the scaffold. She pulls him back.]
Sam: You must be a d*ke with a right hook like that.
Lindsay: You are the most repellant man I've ever met, even if you are a genius.
[She storms off. Now he's intrigued.]
[Emmett and Michael on the streets. They take all Vic belongs to his place.]
Emmett: This are more thing than I have.
Michael: She would all the things out the house that she remind of him.
[They knook on the door. Nobody's answer.]
Michael: For his sake he doesn't make up.
[Michael lets himself in. He has a key. Vic is sitting in a chair, apparently asleep in front of the TV. Michael and Emmett tiptoe in with the boxes. Michael tries to wake him up - only he doesn't wake up.]
Michael: Uncle Vic?
Emmett: What are we're doin with this?
Michael: Take it there. Uncle Vic, you're movers were here.
Emmett: We have everything from Debbie's kitchen except the thing...
[He didn't react. Emmett looks worried. And so Michael.]
Michael: Uncle Vic? Uncle Vic! Uncle Vic?
[Michael goes to the diner to break the news to Deb. She's busy and grumpy and doesn't want to listen.]
Debbie: Where the hell is the pod pie? Do you k*ll the chicken?
Michael: Ma.
Debbie: I can't talk to you know.
Michael: It's important.
Debbie: You see my hands are full, Sharone is sick and I'm working two stage.
Michael: Please!
Debbie: I'll be right with you.
Michael: Ma, put the g*dd*mn tray down!
Debbie: What is so important that can't wait?
Michael: Come, sit down.
Debbie: I don't have time to sit down. Michael, just tell me.
Michael: It's Uncle Vic.
Debbie: What about him? Did he have a shit fit when you showed up with all those pots and pans? I hope so, that son-of-a-bitch.
Michael: Ma -
Debbie: What?
Michael: Uncle Vic is gone. He passed away.
Debbie: What the hell are you talking about?
Michael: We took the stuff over to him and he was there. In front of the TV. I'm sorry, Ma. I called Rodney, and the paramedics came, but -
[He shakes his head. Deb's in shock. Stunned speechless for once in her life.]
[At Babylon, Justin encounters the elusive quarry, watching TV at the bar.]
Justin: You into football?
Trick: I hate football.
Justin: Then why you watching?
Trick: So some hot guy will come over and ask me if I'm into football.
Justin: I'm Justin.
Shane: Shane.
Justin: I saw you at Babylon the other night.
Shane: Oh?
Justin: Yeah. You were cruising the hell out of me. Then you just disappeared.
Shane: One of those emergencies, couldn't be helped.
Justin: Well, lucky for us, I found you.
Shean: You Pittsburgh guys sure are friendly.
Justin: (laughs) It's a small town with a big heart. You been here long?
Shean: All week. Still living out of boxes.
Justin: Why don't I help you unpack?
Shane: Why don't you? Say, aren't you the guy from the gym?
Brian: Yeah, the one with the bad case of crabs. Fortunately that's cleared up.
Justin: Too late. I won. You can book our flight tomorrow.
Brian: Nobody's going anywhere. The bet's off. (Looks down, clears his throat) Vic's d*ad.
Justin: That is really low, even for you!
Brian: It's true.
[Cut to Debbie's house. Michael and Emmett hover over Debbie, who is uncharacteristically quiet. Rodney is tearful. Ben is sympathetic and solemn. Even Hunter is subdued.]
Michael: Might if you go upstairs and ly down? Ma?
Emmett: Can I get you anything? Rodney?
Rodney: No thanks.
[Brian and Justin come in. Justin hugs Deb, Brian hugs Michael.]
Brian: (to Ben) What the f*ck happened?
Ben: His heart. The doctor says his cholesterol was sky-high from the meds he was taking.
Michael: No warning, nothing.
Hunter: I thought the meds were supposed to keep you alive, not k*ll you.
Ben: It doesn't always work that way.
Rodney: I thought we'd have more time than this.
Emmett: You guys should have been together a lot longer. It's so tragic.
Brian: Hamlet's tragic. Vic was on his deathbed four years ago. All this - was gravy. He knew that.
Debbie: What did you say?
Brian: Going this way. It could've been a lot worse. If you ask me, he was f*cking lucky.
[Deb hauls off and slaps him across the face.]
Debbie: Nobody f*cking asked you! And who the f*ck are you to decide how long he should have lived?
Brian: The truth hurts. [Still holding his face.]
Debbie: Get this shithead out of my house.
[Brian looks around. Under the circumstances, nobody's going to argue with Deb. He walks out. Justin runs after him.]
Justin: Brian, wait up. She's upset. Tell her you're sorry.
Brian: There's only one problem. I'm not.
[Just then, Mel and Lindz come rushing up.]
Mel: We just heard.
Lindsay: How's Debbie?
Brian: Nothing can keep a good woman down.
Mel: Are you leaving?
Brian: They ran out of ice.
Mel: Brian -
Lindsay: ...did something happen?
Justin: Just go in, we'll be there in a minute.
Brian: Not me!
Justin: Where you going?
Brian: We have a bet, remember?
Justin: I can't believe you're thinking of sex at a time like this.
Brian: A time like this is exactly when you should be thinking about it, while you can.
[He pulls Justin in for a kiss, but Justin breaks free, gives him a look and runs back to Deb's. Brian walks off, rubbing his jaw.]
[Michael is sitting in his old room, reading comics. Ben pokes his head in, a bit tentatively.]
Ben: Here you are.
Michael: Just take a breathing.
Ben: How you holding up?
Michael: I'm not thinking about me right now. I don't think Ma knows what h*t her.
Ben: Brian certainly didn't help. Insensitive prick!
Michael: The funny thing is, Vic probably would have agreed with him. When he came back, everybody thought he had a couple of months to live, tops. You should have seen what he looked like.
Ben: Not a pretty picture, I'm sure.
Michael: So whatever time he got WAS a gift. He was a lot luckier than most.
Ben: That may be true, but it wasn't Brian's place to shrug off his death, especially with your mom.
Michael: He shrugs everything off! It's who he is.
Ben: And you defend him. It's who you are.
Michael: Look, I don't need to be told how to respond or what to feel. Certainly not by you, so if that's why you came up here -
Ben: It's not. I came to offer my unconditional love and support. To let you know that if there's anything I can do -
Michael: (snaps) There is! You can put everything else aside. Because right now, I don't give a shit about that director - whatever his name is. All I care about is helping my mom get through this. I just hope I can.
[Ted answers a late night knock on the door. It's Blake.]
Blake: Did I wake you?
Ted: Uh, no. No. Come on in. First you should know I never wear this, but tomorrow is laundry days...
Blake. It's okay. You looks stunning.
Ted: So, you're just come from a meeting?
Blake: I did.
Ted: Yeah, it's risky tonight.
Blake: Actually... me. It's my turn to speak and basically what I said was even I now clean for two years and I followed the programms and try to be a good counselor.
Ted: Better than good. The best.
Blake: I still feel the sorryfield.
Ted: It's not true.
Blake: It is true. I felt some propriate amends for a person a long time ago.
Ted: Maybe you're write a letter?
Blake: I already wrote a letter. All I wanna do is that.
[Blake kisses Teddy.]
[Michael, Ben and Hunter are going home.]
Michael: [to Emmett] Maybe I should stay.
Emmett: No, no. Go home with Hunter and Ben. I'll take the rest. I'm here, don't worry.
[They hug each other. When everybody's gone, he goes into her room with a mug of something.]
Emmett: Everybody's gone.
Debbie: Good. I couldn't handle one more hug.
Emmett: I though you wouldn't mind my secret sleep potion?
Debbie: Keep the pill.
Emmett: Sure, but they'll calm you.
Debbie: Calm me? Not the way I'll talked to him. I said I never care about him. My last words to him were "f*ck you!"
Emmett: You two were always fighting.
Debbie: Yeah, we always made up. But not this time.
[Emmett looks a little guilty. No doubt he's thinking about Ted. He leaves and goes to his room. Yep, he's gonna read the letter.]
[Looks like Brian's won the bet. He's getting his dick sucked in the back room by Shane.]
Shane: You had a great cock.
Brian: Gee, I never heard that before. Thanks.
Shane: There is something I'll talk to you about.
[He hands Brian his card]
Shane: Why you giving me a call?
Brian: I'm sorry, but...
Shane: I'm a doctor.
Brian: You wanna get paid to probe my prostate?
Shane: I just thought you should know, you've got a lump on your left testicle. If I were you, I'd have it checked out. The sooner the better.
[Brian is stunned.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x06 - Death in the Family"} | foreverdreaming |
[Brian has followed up on his backroom diagnosis. He's sitting in a doctor's office and the doc is showing him the results of the ultrasound.]
Doc: I suspect it's a seminoma. A testicular cancer quite common in men your age. However, we can't be sure until we perform a biopsy.
Brian: How do you do that?
Doc: Well, first we'd have to remove the testicle.
Brian: That's what I was afraid you were gonna say. And if I don't have cancer, then - you put it back in?
Doc: Unfortunately, no.
Brian: I was afraid you were gonna say that, too.
Doc: However, the good news is that the procedure is relatively simple. As for the other testi, it will still be completely functional and neither your sexual performance nor your fertility will be affected.
Brian: That is good news. I'll be a one-balled wonder.
Doc: No, no, no. We give you a prosthetic replacement.
[Getting out of his chair, he takes a box off the shelf and shows it to Brian. It's a box full of balls of all different shapes and sizes. Ball implants.]
Doc: Here, help yourself.
Brian: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
Doc: It will look and feel completely natural. Of course, we try to match your original testicle as closely as possible.
Brian: Not too big, not too small, just right. (Picks up one of the implants) So, what are my chances?
Doc: With surgery and follow-up procedure, 99 percent. Not bad.
Brian: And without surgery?
Doc: The cancer will spread through your body. It will inv*de your vital organs and you will die.
[Cut to - guess who! Ted at a 12-step meeting. ]
Woman: This one year is clearity is meant more to me than all my other fourty years of pain and confusion. And for that I would like to thank the person who helped get me here. Sometimes he had to drag me here - my sponsor Blake. Blake is my rock. And I don't know what I would have done without him, Blake I never meet anyone who was more integrity than you. Thank you for being there for me. For being my friend, for believing in me.
[Everybody applauds. You can see that Blake isn't comfortable with that.]
[The day of Vic's funeral. Michael, Ben, Hunter and Emmett are sitting around in the Novotny living room waiting for Deb to make an appearance so they can leave. They've been waiting awhile, apparently. Michael's getting antsy.]
Michael: Shall I go and get her?
Ben: Give her a few more minutes.
Emmett: She was up most of the night. I heard her rattling around the kitchen.
Ben: That can't be a good sign.
Emmett: And this morning, she was just pacing back and forth in her room.
Hunter: Like Mary Tyrone?
Michael: Who?
Hunter: Didn't any of you illiterates ever read Long Day's Journey Into Night?
Ben: Part of the 10th grade English curriculum.
Hunter: Compared to some of the foster homes I was in, it's the f*ck' Brady Bunch.
Michael: Would you show a little respect? Sit down!
Ben: Michael.
Michael: It's my uncle's funeral. (Hunter gives him a look.) If she doesn't get her ass down here in two minutes, we're gonna be late!
Hunter: Like the guy's gonna give a shit!
Emmett: I'm not sure she's up for this.
Michael: That makes two of us.
Ben: She wouldn't miss his funeral.
Michael: Who knows, after the fight they had? I better go get her.
[Just when Michael's about to go upstairs and get Deb, she comes down. She's totally composed, all cool, calm and collected.]
Debbie: Why is everybody sitting around? Michael, are you the driver? Then let's go.
[Everybody's at the gravesite - even Jennifer.]
Minister: Before we consign our brother Victor Anthonio Grassi to the arms of our loving and netherless god is there anyone who would like to offer a personal rememberance?
[Michael delivers a little eulogy.]
Michael: It's so hard. Where do I start? My uncle Vic was the first person I ever told I was gay. He laughed and said, "Thank God, now your grandmother will have someone else's soul to pray for." That's how he was - never unsentimental, unlike me. Always facing adversity with a smile and a cynical remark. I'm sure if he saw us here today, he'd say, "What the hell are ya wasting your time on a d*ad man for? Go get laid!" So I just want to say, thank you, Uncle Vic, for everything you've taught me. You were a brave man. A good man. Which is all we can ever hope to be.
Minister: Anyone else?
Emmett: He made a f*cking fabulous tarte aux pommes with creme fraiche.
Mel: He was the only person I knew who look good in a Hawaiin shirt. Well, almost.
Justin: He was gay before it became fashionable.
Rodney: I never heart him complain. Not once. He lived in gratitude.
[Michael looks at Deb: aren't you going to say anything? She shakes her head no. It must be the first time ever that Deb hasn't had anything to say. After the funeral on the way back.]
Michael: Ma, your okay?
Debbie: I'm doin' fine.
Rodney: [to Emmett] His boxes still unpacked. He said, 'What's the hurry?'
Emmett: I think that's why he mean live in now.
Rodney: It's hard to do when he dies so fast.
[Behind them Ted walking alone. Behind Ted, Mel and Linds. Behind the lesbian Ben and Hunter.]
Ben: You okay, pal?
Hunter: Yeah, sure.
[Behind them Brian, Jen and Justin.]
Brian: All I say it 's better to go out when you're young, in a blaze of glory, than to get old and diseased.
Justin: He might feel differently if it were you.
Jen: Well, at least you didn't get sick and linger. That's the worst.
Brian: Yeah, that's in extremely poor taste.
[Most of the funeral party winds up back at Deb's house, where she's making herself way too busy. She bustles around, offering everybody more wine.]
Debbie: Here, more wine, sweetheart. Thank you.
Michael: Can I give you a hand?
Debbie: No, I'm good at that. How about you, sweetheart?
Ben: Thank you, Deb.
Mel: Want you the cake a caseboard or a refridge?
Debbie: I want you to sit down. All of you. Really, I'll take care of it.
Jen: Debbie, you have stepped all day.
Lindsay: We're starting in the center a new class. I think I'll should sign up for pottery. How about you come and join me, Deb?
Jen: That's a wonderful idea.
Debbie: Well, I'm italian. I need only food and plenty of vino.
Rodney: Deb.
Debbie: How do you do, baby?
Rodney: As good as you. Here, I broughed you this. I think you would like to do.
Debbie: Sure honey. That's really thoughful.
Rodney: It contains family fotos, his rings and watch. There is also a letter address to you.
Debbie: A letter. For me?
Rodney: Why you don't took off when you're a little tired?
Debbie: No, no. You go ahead and get some rest. I'm okay. Here, take this. You gonna eat, you hear me?
[Rodney kisses Debbie. All say goodbye to Rodney. Debbie goes to the box and take the letter to her. Michael comes up to Debbie while she's reading the letter.]
Michael: Why don't you let Mel and Lindz and Jennifer help you? (Sees Deb looking at the letter) What's that?
Debbie: Oh, it's a letter from your Uncle Vic. He wrote it to me a few years ago when he was sick and he thought he was gonna die.
Michael: What does it say?
Debbie: It says - we're gonna have a party. We're gonna have a party.
[She hugs Michael.]
[Blake, the best substance abuse counselor in the entire universe, has thoughtfully brought Ted some Thai food.]
Ted: Seeing that box and knowing Victor's inside... that was... tough.
Blake: How sad.
Ted: But Debbie picked up a real nice shirt with cool dancer and pop trickies.
Blake: I guess you must be something wearing while you were dancing. Oh, I hope that ties was okay.
Ted: It's amazing...
Blake: Only good taste.
Ted: ...how caring you are. It's just like everybody at the meeting said.
[Blake looks nervous. There's something in Ted's manner that's just a little too personal.]
Blake: I know how stressful funerals can be. I figured you can use a little - comfort.
Ted: I think she had the right counselor.
Blake: We have pat thai and a few grow up.
Ted: I love it.
[Ted puts his arms around Blake. Blake looks really, really uncomfortable. Then Ted starts kissing him.]
Ted: You know the whole time, and I know it's awful but... it could it be me. All those people, Michael and Brian, Mel and Lindz, Emmett... they could be for my funeral. You know what else I was thinking? How much I will kiss you... [he kisses Blake.] And bite you... and f*ck you... and suck you.
Blake: But the food gets cold!
Ted: Better the thai food than you!
[Michael and Ben on their way home.]
Ben: I expected the funeral was a desaster but as it turns out, your mother well-behaved, you made a beautiful speech and the hair was great.
Michael: Thanks. Wasn't it strange how cold she was up?
Ben: Well, my guess is she's still in shock. Besides it'll will take in her own time.
Michael: Jesus, did you smell that?
[They enter the apartment to find Hunter stretched out on the couch smoking weed.]
Michael: What the hell are you doing?
Hunter: Smoking your hidden joint. What the hell does it look like?
Michael: Is that why you didn't want to come with us to my mom's? So you could stay here and get stoned?
Hunter: Beats the hell out of eating cold cuts and listening to stories about some old guy I hardly knew!
Michael: That old guy happened to be my uncle.
Hunter: Then you go get all teary-eyed. I prefer having a toke.
[He gets up off the couch and slams into his room.]
Ben: We're fostering a minor, Michael. If they found out we had pot or any other illegal substances around the house, we could lose him.
Michael: I forgot I even had it. Brian gave it to me for emergencies.
Ben: He obviously went snooping and found it.
[Michael sits down on the couch and fires up the remainder of the joint.]
Ben: Michael? What are you DOING?
[Michael lies down on the couch with the joint in one hand and a scrunched-up look of agony on his face.]
Michael: This is an emergency.
Ben: Michael, we can't tell him not to use drugs if we do it ourselves.
Michael: Course we can! That's what parenting's all about.
[Justin is feeding Brian Chinese food with chopsticks. Brian opens his fortune cookie.]
Brian: A surprise awaits you. What's yours say?
Justin: The man you love will slowly and sensually peel off all his clothes for you, exposing his perfect body. (He slithers down so hishead is now strategically placed in Brian's lap) Then he will take out his bee-you-tiful dick. Then you can suck it.
Brian: This is a long fortune.
Justin: There's more. Next, he'll rim your ass to get you crazy, then ram his cock up you and f*ck you so hard you pass out.
[Justin is kissing Brian all the time he's talking.]
Brian: In bed.
Justin: Hm?
Brian: You're supposed to add "in bed" to the end of that fortune.
Justin: I was thinking on the floor.
Brian: Okay.
[They kiss. Then Justin slips his hand down Brian's pants. Just checking the equipment. Brian flinches and pulls himself up to a sitting position.]
Justin: What?
Brian: Nothing. Your hands are cold.
Justin: I'll warm them up.
Brian: That's okay. (Yawns) I'm kinda tired.
[Justin looks confuzzled. This has to be a first.]
[At the Novotny house. Emmett wakes up with a jolt to the strains of "Joy to the World." He stumbles downstairs to find Deb playing Christmas carols and decorating the house with Christmas decorations.]
Emmett: OK, when I went to bed, it was February and I only took one Xanax. So exactly how long have I been asleep?
[Deb is swearing, struggling to put up a Christmas tree.]
Debbie: f*ck! I can't tell if these branches are tops or bottoms.
Emmett: You'd have to ask another tree about that one. Deb -
Debbie: Oh, can't you see? It's Christmas!
Emmett: Christmas.
Debbie: But before you call the loony bin and have them cart me away, it's for a damn good reason. (She shows him Vic's letter.) Rodney brought this letter Vic wrote a few years ago. It was about the time we thought we were gonna lose him. It was just before Christmas and the doctors said he didn't look like he was gonna make it. So in the letter, he made me promise that even if he wasn't here, he still wanted us to have the most beautiful holiday ever.
Emmett: But Deb, he was here. And not just for that Christmas but for many more Christmases.
Debbie: Yeah, but he's gone now. So I say, what better way to pay tribute than to have one last celebration?
Emmett: That's very sweet, Deb. Aren't you a little late?
Debbie: It doesn't matter. When somebody you love writes you a letter and asks you to do something, you've got no choice but to do it. (She turns back to the tree) You know, chopping down a f*ck' tree would've been easier!
[Ted and Blake in are bed the morning after. They're all cuddled up - only something's wrong with this picture. Blake looks totally freaked out. Ted's kissing all over him.]
Ted: Hey, sleepy head. We're must up in a few minutes ago.
Blake: I know.
Ted: Haven't you places to be, things to do, peoples to see?
Blake: Yeah, I rather get up.
Ted: Oh, first we should relieve that morning stiffness.
Blake: Ted. Ted, please, please...
Ted: You're not in the mood?
Blake: I don't think we'll do this today. Ted, please, don't think it has something to do with you.
Ted: With me?
Blake: It's not.
Ted: Of course, never is(!)
Blake: I've should have known better.
Ted: To get involved?
Blake: It was a mistake.
Ted: To fall in love? Have sex? Be close?
Blake: The program -
Ted: f*ck the program! This is my life! I'm allowed to make my own decisions!
Blake: Yes, and as your counselor, it's my responsibility to help you make the right ones!
Ted: You have! You've helped me more than you know! It's just like the woman at that meeting said. I don't know what I would've done or how I could've survived without you.
Blake: That doesn't include sleeping with you.
Ted: Then why did you? To make amends?
Blake: The same reason you did. Because I wanted to. But it's hurting you.
Ted: Hurting me? How could it be hurting me?
Blake: Because you need to focus on yourself right now. Nothing else is important. That includes me.
[He walks off to finish getting dressed leaving Ted shaking his head in disbelief.]
[Cut to Ben and Hunter in front of Hunter's school. It looks like Hunter got in a fight. He's got a black eye.]
Hunter: f*cking assh*le tripped me! Then he lied and said it was an accident.
Ben: So you h*t him?
Hunter: Gotta stand up for yourself.
Ben: And what if he'd made you bleed? Then everyone would need to know you're positive. Is that what you want?
Hunter: Yeah, that's exactly what I want.
Ben: Look. You've been doing great, better than anyone expected.
Hunter: Proving what? That hustlers not only can give expert head, they can even write a book report?
Ben: That's not what I meant. So why would you f*ck it up?
Hunter: As if it matters what I get on my SAT scores or if I'm a National Merit Scholar, since I'm gonna end up in a box like Vic.
Ben: Look. Not long ago, the person who infected me died.
Hunter: You knew him.
Ben: Yeah.
Hunter: And you didn't k*ll him.
Ben: He was my ex-lover.
Hunter: Shit! You can't trust anyone.
Ben: The point is - afterward, I did some pretty self-destructive things.
Hunter: Like what?
Ben: Like taking steroids because I thought they'd make me healthier, but they only did more harm than good. And it didn't change the fact that I still have this thing inside of me, same as you. But no matter how scared or angry we are, we can't self-destruct. We can't let it sabotage our lives.
Hunter: I don't know what the f*ck you're talking about! Dude, I told you. The guy tripped me. That's all!
Ben: All right, that's all it was.
[When Michael comes in, he's slightly dumfounded.]
Michael: Holy Christ!
Debbie: Oh, I don't have it. Thanks for reminding me. It's a long time you don't see this, huh? He still love him. But this year we got all the way! Just like we're used to.
[Debbie rushes above.]
Emmett: Well, I leave it to your deal.
Michael: Where you're going?
Emmett: Christmas shopping. Only 310 days left!
[Emmett leaves and Deb comes downstairs]
Debbie: I goes these stairs twenty four times a day.
Michael: I think it's really nice what your doin' for Uncle Vic but don't wear yourself out.
Debbie: Oh, I'm fine.
Michael: At least, let me help you.
Debbie: No, it's okay.
Michael: I'm happy to.
Debbie: Michael, would you let go? I don't need your g*dd*mn help! I just have to do this - all of it - by myself, OK?
Michael: But why?
Debbie: Because it was Vic's last request and if I do all of it perfectly, the way that he wanted, then maybe - it just has to be right, that's all. Nothing can go wrong!
[She runs upstairs.]
[Lindsay brings Gus to visit Brian.]
Brian: (taking Gus) Does no one respect privacy anymore? Is it all a forgotten right?
Lindsay: Gus has been saying Dada all day.
Brian: So he's developed a sudden interest in German surrealism.
Lindsay: I think he means you. Try to be amusing? He's been an enfant terrible all day.
[Brian's watching a James Dean movie. Brian muses on the topic with Gus.]
Brian: What's that? You see that cute boy, Gus? He not only knew how to live, he knew how to die. Instead of watching himself get old and gross, seeing himself gradually decompose, he went out in a blaze of glory, both balls intact.
Lindsay: Isn't he a little young for James Dean?
Brian: You don't want him watching Teletubbies, do you? It might make him gay.
Lindsay: You know, in your own weird, subversive way, you're not a bad father.
Brian: I prefer to see myself as the anti-dad.
Lindsay: Well, whatever you are, if you'd like more time with him, all you have to do is ask.
Brian: I think I'll stick to my unaccredited cameo appearances.
Lindsay: You know, one day in the not-too-distant future, we'll be watching him graduate from school. Then I imagine he'll meet a lovely young girl - or boy - get married maybe, have grandchildren maybe -
Brian: You really know how to k*ll a moment, don't you?
Lindsay: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be the hottest, handsomest anti-grandpa ever.
[Michael, Ben and Hunter are having dinner. Michael's bitching out Hunter.]
Michael: And to top off everything else, you had to get suspended!
Hunter: It's not like I called in a b*mb thr*at.
Michael: That's not the point, smart-ass! I've got enough shit to worry about without having to worry about you, too!
Hunter: So stop worrying.
Michael: I will worry as much as I g*dd*mn well please. What the hell were you thinking?
Hunter: I wasn't thinking anything.
Michael: Obviously!
[Hunter gets up to leave the table.]
Michael: You are not excused!
Hunter: I'm not gonna sit here and get yelled at!
Michael: If you'd quit acting like an idiot -
Ben: Michael, stop.
Michael: Well, that's all we need is for him to get into trouble!
Ben: [to Hunter] Go to your room. Go on.
Michael: He's got to understand he can't go around picking fights. And you can't coddle him!
Ben: I wasn't coddling him.
Michael: What he could use is some discipline!
Ben: What he can use is some understanding. Look - I know you've got a lot to deal with. But so does he.
Michael: It's not his uncle who just died. It's not his mother who's gone around the bend!
Ben: No, but he's the one who's 16, who's positive, who's dealing with an HIV-related death for the first time. Try to imagine how terrifying that must be. So if he's acting out right now, it's because he's scared shitless.
Michael: I'm sorry. I didn't think.
Ben: Why should you? You don't have it.
[It's Ted. He enters Babylon for the first time since the accident. All around him the guys takes drugs. He goes upstairs and he runs into his former associates and an old friend - Tina.]
Tina: Look, who it is! Teddy-boy! Where the f*ck have you been? You're in the circuit?
Ted: Yeah.
Tina: We're going over to Dr.See's later. We wanna come, come, come?
Ted: No, thanks, guys. I was wondering... if you have... you know...
Tina: A little Tina?
Ted: No, thanks.
Tina: Special one-time offer. First tip on me.
[Ted looks downstairs and see Justin and Emmett at the bar.]
Justin: He's never turned me down before.
Emmett: I have to admit, it doesn't sound like the Brian Kinney we all know and feel ambivalent about!
[Cut briefly back to Ted.]
Ted: I want to go.
[Back again to Justin and Emmett at the bar.]
Justin: Maybe I'm getting too old for him. Maybe it's the hair.
Emmett: I love the hair. And if you're too old, the rest of us should be in assisted care.
Justin: Then what?
Emmett: Maybe you're in a slump. It happens in the best of non-relationships. Try spicing it up!
Justin: But there's nothing and practically no one we haven't done.
Emmett: All it takes is a couple of new ingredients to perk up an old, familiar dish.
[He turns Justin's head to see two likely prospects. Justin's eyes light up. Brian returns home after a hard day at work to find Justin with the two tricks.]
Trick #1: [to Trick #2] He IS hot.
Trick #2: Uh-huh.
Justin: Thought you might like a long, hard night after a hard, long day.
Brian: I just remembered I left something at the office.
[Hunter and Mikey are walking their bikes.]
Michael: I want you to wear something nice for the party. It's a special occasion, so that we're look to our best. And when time after school you got a hair-cut.
Hunter: I do a make-up? Because I'm not goin'.
[He rides off. Mikey wobbles off after him.]
Michael: The least you could do is try and make an appearance!
Hunter: I don't do the Santa ride. Especially when it's not even f*cking Christmas!
Michael: It's important to her. To respect Vic's wishes.
Hunter: So what's she gonna do when I croak? Throw me an Easter egg hunt?
Michael: You're not gonna croak. You're gonna be around for a long, long time.
Hunter: How do you know? Answer me!
Michael: I don't.
Hunter: Then don't f*ck' say anything.
Michael: That's why it's important we all live in the now, like Ben says.
Hunter: That's awesome advice, dude. Ben's Buddhist bullshit has really inspired me. Well, better get a move on before I run out of now!
[He starts off on his bike again. Michael wobbles after him again.]
Michael: Hey! Hey! You don't have to go if you don't want to. C'mon.
[Back at home, Ted contemplates his vial of Tina. Just then, there's a timely knock at the door. It's Emmett.]
Ted: Who is it?
Emmett: Uh, Christmas angel.
[he opens the door.]
Emmett: Saison greeting's. [looks in Ted's confused face] I'm trying to get the spirit for Vic's... never mind. I just drop by to tell you that I, uh, read for letter.
Ted: You did?
Emmett: Three times, actually. It's very well written. In fact more than that.
Ted: I got the little story turn me on. Do you know where the business cards stand?
Emmett: Oh, I love that story and a cute rich guy, Morgan, runs it.
Ted: Yeah, he's hot, isn't he?
Emmett: Yeah, the letter. So, I... I read it and...
Ted: Wait a minute. You threw it away to me. I ditched it.
Emmett: Luckily for both of us Blake retrieved it and gave it back to me.
Ted: I didn't know he did that.
Emmett: Well, I'm glad he did. Cause it tells the truth. There was a part of me that didn't want you to recover. I wanted you to be in pain. Well, I think you deserved that. Cunty, huh?
Ted: Not really. I thoughed the same way myself.
Emmett: Anyway, I'm huh... tell Blake he is a damn good counselor and a damn good friend. Because he care so much about you. You lucky to you him. Well Teddy, I wish you the best.
[Then he leaves. Ted looks close to tears.]
[At Brian's loft. It's one of those Brian-and-Mikey scenes. They're smoking a joint.]
Michael: Do you suddenly feel a preponderance of death?
Brian: Wasn't that a play by Arthur Miller?
Michael: It's an unsettling observation by Michael Novotny. (Whiny) Everywhere I turn I'm confronted with the inevitable fact of one's mortality.
Brian: Death can really hang you up the most.
Michael: It's not only meant Vic, Ben and Hunter. It's a horrible thing to say and I don't even like to think it, but they could die, just like him, and I'd be the one left to pack up their stuff and turn out the lights -
Brian: Just because they're positive doesn't mean they're gonna be the first to go. Hell, it could be you. You could step out in the street - get h*t by a Mercedes compressor. It's so much classier than a bus.
Michael: Thanks.
Brian: Go down to the Post Office to buy a stamp, get blown away by a disgruntled postal worker. In case you haven't noticed these days, they're all disgruntled.
[Michael hugs Brian. Brian just sort of lets him. He walks over to the fridge, gets out a couple of bottles of beer.]
Michael: I just get scared of the thought of being alone.
Brian: It's how we all came in. It's how we're all going out.
Michael: Yeah, but until then, I'd prefer at least the illusion that someone else will be there, if only temporarily.
Brian: Believe what you want, but the less you have to hold onto, the easier it is to let go.
Michael: Maybe so, but still I'm glad I have you.
Brian: Who said anything about me?
Michael: (Comes up behind Brian, who's sitting down at this point. He puts his arms around Brian's neck.) Well, it's nice to know that no matter what happens, we'll always have each other. We always have. Right?
[He kisses Brian's neck.]
[Cut to Ted and Blake at a street.]
Ted: You need a lift?
Blake: Uh, no, it's okay. I rather walk.
Ted: Getting cold. They says it's snows.
Blake: Thanks anyway.
Ted: Please.
Blake: OK, Ted I don't can explain the other night...
Ted: But then let me talk. OK? After you told me you didn't want to see me anymore -
Blake: I said it wasn't a good idea for us to see each other.
Ted: Right. I was so upset. Ya know what I did?
Blake: No.
[Ted shows him the vial.]
Ted: It's the finest, good price to.
Blake: Shit.
Ted: But after walking it around, I did a little accounting and I figured doing this would put me back in the minus column, this time maybe permanently. So I decided to pass.
Blake: Wise decision.
Ted: When we first met, I fell in love because you needed me to take care of you. This time, I fell in love because I needed you to take care of me. And you have. In fact, I wouldn't even be standing here right now if it wasn't for you. I am so sorry if I was too selfish and too horny to see it.
Blake: Thank you, Ted.
Ted: So where does that leave us? Besides being stuck with lousy timing once again.
Blake: Yeah, we seem to have that, don't we? Maybe one day the timing will be right.
Ted: You think?
Blake: We can hope. [puts his hand out for the vial] In case you're tempted.
[He opens the vial and pour it. And as if by magic, it begins to snow. Of course it is Christmas, isn't it?]
Ted: Whaddaya know! It's snowing!
[At Kinnetik, Cynthia storms into Brian's office, spitting mad because he's taking off.]
Cynthia: I can't believe you taking off!
Brian: I'm eighteen. Barcelona and Madrid. I hope I can practice my spanish. Como esta usted?
Cynthia: I'm fine, thank you! But you must be demented!
Brian: It's one of those spontaneous things.
Cynthia: And how are we supposed to spontaneously cover for you while you're tanning your ass? You have meetings with Remson, Brown, Eyeconics.
Brian: They can wait. They all can wait till I come back.
Cynthia: And when you coming back?
Brian: I'll let you know.
Cynthia: I have worked for you for five years and I've never known you to just take off. So why now? You've just opened up your own firm and you just suddenly decide -
Brian: Well, that's the point of being your own boss, isn't it? Make your own hours, come and go as you please, not answer to anyone -
[Justin walks in. Talk about timing.]
Justin: Almost anyone.
Brian: The ball and chain. Cynthia, would you excuse us?
Justin: Where are you going?
Brian: Ibiza. I'm leaving tonight.
Justin: Without me?
Brian: You're going back to school, remember? It would be highly irresponsible to just pull you out.
Justin: f*ck school. f*ck the bet. And f*ck you. We were supposed to go together.
[Brian explodes.]
Brian: WE'RE NOT f*cking MARRIED! And I don't need to get your f*cking permission if I want to go somewhere!
[He storms out of the office, leaving a stunned Justin. A minute later, he walks back in, looking calmer. Meanwhile, Justin has put two and two together and realizes that something is wrong.]
Justin: You're right. You're absolutely right. We have no obligation to tell each other anything.
[Brian shakes his head]
Justin: Look, if I did something or said something to piss you off, I didn't mean to.
Brian: It's not you.
[He pulls Justin in for a hug.]
Justin: What is it? What? [Pause] Okay - you go do whatever you have to do for whatever reason you have to do it. I just want you to know I love you. And I'll be here when you get back.
[Brian smiles, then nods mutely. Justin leaves. Once he's alone, Brian turns out the lights in his office. One, two, and on the third one he picks up the lamp and smashes it to the floor.]
[And now for a little Christmas cheer. Or not. Chanda Leer is belting out carols at Deb's party. (She did go blonde, just like she said she would.)]
Justin: I always knew that Chanda will be back here, we she belongs.
Chanda: You can't keep a good Drag queen down. A true gentleman prefer blond.
Justin: I don't know about gentlemen, but dirty old men should do.
Chanda: Even better.
[Mel stands at the table with Michael.]
Mel: I keep thinking I can't hardly wait for Christmas sales. And I can't remember it isn't even Christmas.
Michael: I was Uncle Vic's idea.
[Debbie offers Rodney cookies.]
Debbie: Try these cookies. Vic's used this. When we were kids he used to bite this site on.
Rodney: I wish he could here and share this with us.
Debbie: Who say he isn't? So, let him see your smile. Bite.
[Ted goes in the kitchen to Emmett.]
Emmett: Want some?
Ted: No, actually I hate punch.
Emmett: Yeah, me to. But somehow I feel obligated.
Ted: Well I think about celebrating Christmas off season...
Emmett: The trees are cheeper.
Ted: We get reminded again to love your fellows. Marry Christmas.
Emmett: You to, Teddy.
Debbie: Get I get up everybodies attention, please?! Everbody c'mon here! This year Christmas come a little early or a little late, how you look at. But either way it's here. And that's what Victor wanted. All his friends celebrating his favorite holiday and him. So now, time to add the finishing touch to the festivities. Everybody will knows who puts the angel on the tree? But now this year, little brother, I'll do it in your honor.
Michael: Be careful, mom.
Debbie: If I can climb up a roof then I can climb up that little chair.
[She gets up on the chair, stretches to put the angel on top - and it falls and breaks.]
Debbie: No, no! It had to be perfect!
Michael: Ma.
Debbie: No, it had to be perfect. IT HAD TO BE PERFECT!
[No-one says a word.]
[Brian Kinney, no longer perfect, is on the operating table.]
Doc: OK, Mr. Kinney. Relax and count backwards from ten.
Brian: Ten... Nine... Eight...
[Cut to black screen.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x07 - Preponderance of Death"} | foreverdreaming |
[In the opening scene, Brian is prowling Babylon There’s something wrong with this picture. When he strolls up to the bar, he comes face to face with an unnerving apparition: a ghost in a Hawaiian shirt.]
Vic: Well, look who it is!
Brian: What the f*ck are you doing here?
Vic: I believe that’s my line.
Brian: Sorry.
Vic: Shall we take it again? What the f*ck are you doing here?
Brian: W-w-we’re in Babylon, right?
Vic: In case you forgot, the great Writer in the Sky recently wrote me out. Permanently.
Brian: (laughs, a little freaked out) Then where the f*ck are we?
Vic: Well, let’s see. You’ve got one of two choices.
[Brian glances over at the dance floor. The music has changed to “YMCA” and the dancers have undergone a transformation as well. All the hunky guys have disappeared and a bunch of old farts are cavorting about on the dance floor. Even the go-go boys have aged about 40 years. Their tighty-whities are no longer so tighty.]
Brian: If this is your heaven, it must be my hell.
Vic: What kind of an attitude is that, considering we have so much in common?
Brian: Like what?
Vic: Well, it ain’t two testicles! Turns out you’re everything you never wanted to be, kiddo! Old, diseased and imperfect. Bwahaha!
[Brian awakens from the sleep of death to a voice calling.]
Doc: Mr. Kinney. Mr. Kinney!
[He’s lying in a hospital bed, post-surgery.]
Doc: Mr. Kinney. You’re in recovery. How do you feel?
Brian: I’m having a ball.
[Ben, Michael and Hunter are riding their bikes again.]
Michael: I am so not looking forward to this.
Ben: Meeting a big Hollywood director?
Michael: No, going shopping with my mother!
Ben: At least she’s getting out of the house.
Michael: Yeah, that means I get to sit around a dressing room with a bunch of ladies parading around in their girdles and bras, telling her which outfit looks best.
Ben: Judging from TV, I thought’s that’s one of the few things we queers are good for.
Hunter: If Brett Keller makes Rage into a movie, are we gonna be rich?
Michael: Beyond our wildest, most improbable dreams!
Hunter: Right on. Then we get to spend all his money. Can you get me an autographed picture of Cameron Diaz? She’s f*ck’ hot.
Michael: Wouldn’t you rather have one of Leo or Tobey?
Hunter: [rides off] Later!
Ben: And learn something! I need to stop off at the Post Office mail off some manuscripts.
Michael: Good luck.
Ben: Yeah, you to.
Michael: Hey. Aren't I gonna get a kiss?
[Ben kisses him goodbye and rides off.]
Michael: Thanks.
[As it turns out, the shopping expedition is not for clothes; it’s a quest for the perfect headstone. Michael and Emmett accompany Deb. All the headstones are so ordinary; nothing is good enough for Vic.]
Deb: To small. To fancy. To big.
Michael: She used to say it's dress shopping.
Emmett: Well, look it this way - at least you have zipper up.
Deb: This is the one.
[Suddenly Deb sees it: a huge, ornate statue of an angel bl*wing a trumpet.]
Deb: This is it!
Michael: Jesus Ma, it's like Mount Rushmore!
Salesman: It's my favorite.
Emmett: [to Michael] I bet he says that to all tombstones.
Salesman: The Angel Gabriel, welcoming God’s children into the heavenly gates.
Michael: I hope she doesn’t want to buy the children, too.
Deb: How about this like run?
Salesman: $47,000.
Michael: For a head ornament?
Salesman: It's marble, sir. Guarantee it lasts forever.
Michael: Ma, you couldn't got serious.
Debbie: Your Uncle Vic was a size queen. He'd loved it.
Michael: I'm sure he would perfectly happy with just a simple headstone.
Debbie: What, the kind they put on a pauper’s grave? No f*ck’ way! Everybody who comes to Lakeview Cemetery is gonna see how much Vic Grassi was loved by his family.
Michael: How do you plan to pay for it?
Debbie: I’ll cash in my retirement fund, I can take out a third on the house, I can get a couple extra shifts at the diner!
Emmett: You practically work 24/7 as it is.
Michael: This is insane! I’m not gonna let you spend your last cent -
Debbie: Since when do you tell me what I can and cannot do?! This is for my brother! And it’s my money! And I can spend it any g*dd*mn f*cking way I choose. (To the salesman) Wrap it up.
[At the diner, Mel and Ted are sitting at the counter, bitching at Justin because their orders are late. ]
Mel: How about time. We're ordered yesterday.
Ted: What you have to do. Have to collect something for me omelett?
Justin: I’m sorry, guys. Things are nuts without Deb.
Mel: I don’t know about the nuts, but where’s my side of bacon?
Justin: Shit! Coming right up.
Ted: I thought Jews didn’t eat pork.
Mel: They waived that law for pregnant lesbians second Tuesday of every month.
[And look who comes here. It’s Brian, back from “Ibiza,” looking smashing in a pinstripe suit, but wearing his shades inside.]
Brian: Greetings, serfs and vassals!
Mel: Brian! How was your trip?
Brian: In-f*cking-credible. I hope that one day you, too, will be able to experience the wonders of Ibiza. The sea, the beach...
Ted: The men?
Brian: Did I not mention that?
[Ted shakes his head no.]
Brian: Black coffee.
Mel: Someone not very tan.
Brian: It rained, practically every day. But we're get to indoors.
Justin: Here is your bacon. [sees Brian.] You’re back.
Brian: And you’re here!
Justin: Told you I would be, didn’t I? So how was your trip?
Mel: Weather sucked.
Ted: But so did the men.
Justin: I’d love to hear about it, but I have to go to class.
Ted: I know someone who has to get his ass to the office before his boss has his head.
Mel: Don’t worry, I’ll finish this for you.
[Ted leaves.]
Brian: (to Justin) Want a lift?
Justin: That’s OK. I’m sure you have plenty more important things to do.
[Brian follows him out of the diner. Cut to Brian’s car on the way to PIFA.]
Brian: I was gonna send you a postcard.
Justin: But the Post Office was on strike.
Brian: I meant to call you.
Justin: But your cellphone died and you didn’t have your charger.
Brian: How did you know that?
Justin: You don’t have to make up excuses. As long as you got whatever it was out of your system.
Brian: Oh, it’s out alright.
[They pull up in front of PIFA.]
Brian: By the way, I - I missed you.
Justin: Prove it.
[Brian kisses him, but Justin requires a little more convincing.]
Justin: You’re gonna have to do better than that.
[Another kiss, a little better but still not quite up to Justin’s rigorous standards.]
Justin: I’m still not convinced.
[Summoning what is probably all his energy, Brian really lays one on him. Justin likey that.]
Justin: Okay! Okay, I believe you!
Brian: I’ll see you tonight?
Justin: If I’m in town.
Brian: You going somewhere?
Justin: Hollywood!
[He gets out of the car. As Justin walks away, Brian takes off his shades and watches him with a look of ineffable sadness on his face.]
[Lindsay is at the gallery, trying to sell a rich geezer a painting.]
Lindsay: Noticed perticulary the numerocity of the skin tones. That given the woman almost material quality.
[Auerbach shows up.]
Sam: You're a remarkable person for french yellowed pain?
[The customer scuttles away.]
Lindsay: I was just about to sell that.
Sam: Sell them out this overshit. Veronica, set it up on the table. What a girl. How about give me a fetch a ham and cheese on rye.
[His assistant goes away.]
Lindsay: I thoughed it was all those tiddies and besides it's up to you.
Sam: Oh, oh, easy girl. I don't wanted to pupp the visitor.
Lindsay: Don't tell me it hasn't been healed.
Sam: Actually I just wored it because you do feel sorry for me.
Lindsay: It almost works. So what’s all this?
Sam: Decided to let you show my stuff.
Lindsay: Why, after I punched you?
[His cellphone rings.]
Sam: What?! I already gave you money, you heartless bitch! You want more? Work the streets like the whore that you are! (He hangs up.) My wife. We’re estranged.
Lindsay: I gathered.
Sam: Actually, all my ex-wives and I are estranged.
Lindsay: I’m not surprised.
Sam: If I had any brains, I’d be a lesbian like you.
Lindsay: Why’s that?
Sam: All the p*ssy you want and no overhead.
Lindsay: You’re remarkable!
Sam: Yeah, that’s what people say. Mostly greedy wives and golddiggers. You know, you have no idea what a pleasure it is to finally meet a woman who wants nothing from me except to show my work. By the way - you know how to cook?
Lindsay: I happen to be an excellent cook.
Sam: You think one of them even knew how to turn on a stove? So - when are you inviting me home for dinner?
[Michael and Justin do lunch with Brett Keller. Keller is enthusing over Rage and Michael and Justin are basking in the glow of his admiration.]
Keller: When I first saw Rage, I thought, Finally! Someone’s created an honest-to-God gay superhero, you know? Who’s out! Who’s got a boyfriend, who actually f*ck -
Michael: Yeah, well, we figured if we were gonna do it, we might as well do it all the way.
Keller: And you have. You’ve given every kid who’s ever been bullied, who had to keep his true identity a secret, but somehow managed to survive, his own crusader, his own role model. Wish there was something like this when I was a kid.
Michael: Thank you, Mr. Keller.
Keller: Please, it’s Brett. And I should be thanking you.
Michael: However, we do have a couple of concerns -
Justin: That someone might want to change things.
Keller: You mean like make Rage straight. I will personally chop the dick off any studio executive who even tries. I want this film to be as gritty and as dark and as edgy as your comic. Now as for Rage, every actor in Hollywood is gonna want to play him.
Michael: I thought straight actors won’t take gay roles.
Keller: Nah. Nobody’s gonna turn this one down. So who do ya picture? Johnny? Ashton? Matt?
Justin: Brian.
Keller: Brian?
Justin: He’s my boyfriend.
Michael: And my best friend. We based the character after him.
Keller: Is he as gorgeous as Rage?
[Justin nods.]
Michael: Some people think so.
Justin: Most people think so.
Keller: Well, I’ll have to meet him. You know, just to get an idea.
Michael: What about tomorrow night? We could all go to Babylon.
Justin: It’s a dance club. They’re having a wet willy contest.
Keller: Who said there’s nothing to do in Pittsburgh? I was gonna fly back to LA tomorrow but - (his cell rings) Sorry. Colin. How would you like to save Gayopolis?
[Debbie’s in her room, sorting through her button collection, when Emmett brings up a tray of food.]
Debbie: What you say to this?
Emmett: "Speak softly and carry a big deck." Cute. How about eat this?
Debbie: Where do you see that one?
Emmett: Right here.
Debbie: No, thanks honey.
Emmett: Would you rest something, please?
Debbie: Maybe later. Let me do that, I'm get a littly rusty.
Emmett: You need to keep up your strength.
Debbie: Vic's angel’s not gonna pay for itself! And he’s gonna have the best-looking grave in that cemetery!
[The doorbell rings.]
Debbie: Who the hell’s that? It’s probably my son, trying to talk me out of it again. Well, you can tell him - never mind, I’ll tell him myself.
[She stomps downstairs, but Emmett gets to the door first.]
Emmett: Do I detect a detective?
[It’s Horvath. Deb’s still descending the stairs and doesn’t see who it is at first.]
Debbie: I don’t give a shit what you say, Michael, I’m not - (her voice softens) Carl!
Carl: Hello, Debbie.
[Emmett takes the tray and discreetly leaves the two ex-lovebirds alone.]
Debbie: We've got your flowers. It was thoughtful you remember Vic.
Carl: He was a nice guy.
Debbie: He liked you, too. Forgive me, I haven't the time to write out.
Carl: I understand.
Emmett: Do you wanna come in? We got some fruit cake left from Christmas.
Debbie: Emmett lives here now. Somebody must got the shit out of me.
Carl: Actually I stopped by to see how about go out and grab a tea?
Emmett: [to Debbie] Talk about angels. She'd love to, wouldn't you Deb?
Debbie: Thank you Carl, but I straighten up to back to the diner tomorrow. Maybe some other time.
[At the loft, Justin is crowing about Brett Keller and Rage. Understandably, he’s way too excited about his good news to notice anything different about Brian - at least, not at first.]
Justin: He loves it. He f*ck’ loves it! He says it’s genius.
Brian: That’s nice.
Justin: He also swears that no matter what, the characters are gonna stay exactly like they are in the comic. Hard-assed, edgy and q*eer.
Brian: Great.
Justin: Oh, get this. When we told him we based the character of Rage on you, he says I have to meet this guy. So we made plans to go to Babylon tomorrow night. Contingent, of course, on your availability.
Brian: Well, I have to get my tights back from the cleaners.
[He’s taking off his suit. As he bends down to take off his pants, he grimaces in pain. Justin notices that.]
Justin: What’d you, hurt yourself?
Brian: I must’ve pulled a muscle in Ibiza.
Justin: I bet I can guess which one. (Looking closer at Brian) You know, you look really tired.
Brian: Just jet lag. I’m fabuluso, senor!
Justin: I wish I could say the same thing about the shorts.
[Brian, who has stepped out of his pants, is heading for the bathroom wearing a pair of gray jockey shorts. He scratches his ass. He goes into the bathroom, shutting the door (!) behind him.]
Justin: Hey. Don’t jack off in there. I have other plans!
[We can hear the shower running. The phone rings.]
Justin: Brian! Do you want me to get the phone?
[Brian doesn’t hear him, so Justin goes to pick up the phone. But before he can get to it, the answering machine picks up.]
Voice: [on phone] “Hello, Mr. Kinney, this is Dr. Rabinowitz from the Johns Hopkins Oncology Center. I’d like to discuss your post-surgery options. So please give me a call at 410-555-4832.”
[He starts to call out to Brian, but then he stops, reconsiders.]
[At Lindsay and Mel’s for dinner, Sam listens to Melanie the supportive spouse brag about Lindsay’s talent as an artist.]
Sam: When I told my dear "I wanted something special for her birthday", she says "Sammy, I don't like you paintings, but why you haven't the first cose?"
Mel: [to Linds] Sounds like Rita and Mian.
Lindsay: They say that about family and would appreciate your work.
Mel: Not in this house. I love Lindsay's paintings.
Sam: You paint?
Lindsay: A little.
Sam: Uh-huh, why don't you tell me?
Lindsay: It's long ago. No-one has ever seen it.
Mel: She's almost mortist, so forced her.
Lindsay: Mel.
Mel: Shut up! She has her paintings exhibit.
Sam: I'm impressed.
Lindsay: Don't be. It was years ago.
Mel: Why don't you show Sam?
Lindsay: No! Absolutely not!
Sam: I'm sure that she is very shy about everyone see your work. I can totally understand.
Lindsay: Thank you, Sam.
Sam: But I said, get over it. Every artist is a self-centered, egomaniacal fascist. So. Spare me the modesty shit.
[They got up at the attic.]
Mel: C'mon, a great artists see your work. What you gonna say?
Sam: Pretty colors.
Lindsay: That's it?
Sam: I like the duddle in the corner. Oh, it's cute.
Lindsay: Cute...
Sam: What the f*ck do I know about other people’s art? I just make my own. More importantly - what do you think?
Lindsay: I think they’re academic, derivative, uninspired. And that’s pretty much the same reason why I stopped painting.
Sam: Something must have inspired you once.
Mel: There’s this. I love this.
[She gets out a sketch of an old homeless guy.]
Lindsay: Oh, there was a homeless guy in my class. He just lined, haunted. Mystering the death or worse. I don't know why. I had to sketch him.
[At the comic store, Mikey’s taking out a Rage poster to hang in the window when Justin comes in. One look is all it takes to know this isn’t a social visit.]
Michael: What's wrong? You didn't like it?
Justin: Did you know?
Michael: Huh?
Justin: Did - you - know?
Michael: Know what?
Justin: About Brian. He didn’t go to Ibiza.
Michael: Well, where’d he go? South Beach? Cancun?
Justin: Johns Hopkins. It’s a hospital in Baltimore.
Michael: I know what it is. What was he doing there?
Justin: There was a message from a Dr. Rabinowitz on his machine, checking up on his surgery and to discuss follow-up treatment. So I called the hospital to see who Dr. Rabinowitz is and he’s an oncologist who specializes in testicular cancer.
Michael: Oh, God.
Justin: So you really didn’t know?
[Michael shakes his head. He had no idea.]
Justin: Well, if he didn’t tell you and he didn’t tell me, then who did he tell?
Michael: My guess is nobody.
Justin: That he has cancer?
Michael: Well, I’m sure if he wanted us to know, he would have told us.
Justin: What are we supposed to do? Just keep our mouths shut? Act like we don’t know anything?
Michael: If that’s what he wants, then that’s exactly what we’re gonna do.
[Meanwhile, Rage’s superpowers are ebbing away. Brian nearly passes out in the middle of a meeting.]
Guy#1: I already have sketches for you, to look over.
Woman#1: And I have cards for Goldwin.
Brian: Nice goin'. What about Braun Athletics? Have... we... get the contracts? [he drink some water]
Woman#1: Caming in yesterday.
Ted: Brian? You're okay?
Brian: Yeah. I... yeah, I just... excuse me. Just for a second.
[He goes into his office. Ted follows.]
Ted: Brian?
Brian: I’m fine.
Ted: Well, you sure as hell don’t look it. You practically fainted in there.
Brian: I’m just a little tired from my trip.
Ted: Well, maybe you should go home. I mean, we could finish this tomorrow.
Brian: (snaps at him) I said I’m fine! Now let’s finish the g*dd*mn meeting.
Ted: You don’t have to be so testy.
[Back at the diner, Deb’s not quite ready for prime time, either.]
Debbie: One pink plate, one meat loaf.
Customer#1: I have a pot pie.
Debbie: Pot pie. Sorry, coming right up. So, who in the f*ck had the meat loaf?
Customer#2: Meat loaf? That's me.
Debbie: What do you do? Changed tables? Sorry, honey.
Emmett: How is my favourite service professional?
Debbie: I'm doin' fine.
Emmett: I thoughed you're done, I escort you home.
Debbie: But I'm on a tray. But I get off 1:30...
Emmett: Well, that's about...
Debbie: A.M. I took another shift.
Costumer#3: Who do I have get f*cked to get service around here?
Emmett: Me! And you're gonna waiting a long time!
Debbie: Sorry honey, what can I do for you?
Costumer#3: I had a piece loaf, remember?
Debbie: Right.
Harold: Debbie? Debbie?
Debbie: Yeah?
Harold: I'm Harold, friend of Vic's. I just wanna tell you how sorry to hear he's passed away.
Debbie: Thanks.
Harold: He was always saying what a great relationship you two had, how he looked up to you. You were more than a sister, you were his best friend.
Debbie: Sorry, I have to get this order.
Harold: I know how difficult it is for you right now. But at least you have the comfort of knowing how much he loved you.
[Instead of being comforted by his kind words, Deb is completely undone. She makes a lame attempt to get back to serving tables, but she promptly breaks down and her tray goes crashing to the floor. Fortunately, Emmett’s still there.]
Emmett: Debbie? Come, sit down.
[He makes her sit down and then takes her home.]
[Back in Deb’s kitchen, Michael and Emmett alternately scold and fuss over her]
Emmett: I told her it was too soon.
Debbie: I just got a little shaky, that’s all. I didn’t get my sea legs back. I’ll be better tomorrow.
Michael: You’re not going back tomorrow or the next day. You’re gonna take a few weeks off.
Debbie: The hell I am!
Emmett: Would you calm down please? We are just looking out for your best interest.
Debbie: I know what my best interest is. It’s to work, so I can pay for Vic’s monument.
Michael: That doesn’t mean you have to k*ll yourself!
Debbie: You don’t understand. You don’t have a f*ck’ clue.
Michael: Well, why don’t you give me a f*ck’ hint?
[She says nothing.]
[Sam invites Lindsay over to look at his etchings. She’s choosing pieces for the gallery exhibition.]
Lindsay: They’re all so vibrant, so dynamic. I don’t know which to choose.
Sam: Take ‘em all.
Lindsay: Simple and practical solution.
[He gets out a bottle of something that looks like Grand Marnier and pours it into glasses that are definitely not the right kind for liqueur or brandy.]
Sam: You surprise me.
Lindsay: Oh?
Sam: To look at you, no one would ever suspect.
Lindsay: That I’m a lesbian?
Sam: That a beautiful blonde could be smart, honest, funny. And supremely talented.
[They clink glasses.]
Lindsay: It’s not that uncommon.
Sam: Oh, it’s not?
Lindsay: Well, how many women have you ever bothered to know? Or let know you before you f*cked them? Or married them? And as for my talent, well, judging from your response it was anything but surprising.
Sam: That’s where you’re wrong. That drawing you did of the homeless man?
Lindsay: I haven’t done anything like that in years.
Sam: You should.
Lindsay: Maybe someday.
Sam: Why not now?
Lindsay: Now I’m too busy being a wife, mother, and then there’s my -
Sam: Oh, spare me the excuses, lady. When you’re an artist, nothing stops you. I could be going down in a plane, taking a dump, screwing my mistress - I’d still reach for a pad.
[He hands her a sketchbook.]
Sam: Draw something.
Lindsay: Now? What am I supposed to draw?
Sam: Whatever the hell inspires you. A chair. An apple.
Lindsay: You?
Sam: Me?
Lindsay: You.
Sam: Fine.
[He starts taking his clothes off. This is not what Lindsay had in mind.]
Lindsay: (alarmed) What are you doing?
Sam: What’s it look like?
Lindsay: No no no - wait, Sam, you don’t actually have to take off your -
Sam: There you go. Human body. It’s inspired artists for centuries.
[Sam lights a cigar, completely at ease.]
Lindsay: I don’t believe it!
Sam: Few do. Don’t stand there gawking, draw something.
[Lindsay downs a sh*t.]
[It’s Wet Willy Night at Babylon. Not a fortuitous theme for Brian, who isn’t looking so hot. He’s tired and even though he won’t admit it, he’d probably rather be home in bed. Sleeping. At the stage a line with 9 guys standing in their white undees and a drag queen dressed like Rotkäppchen]
drag queen: My. What a big cock you have.
Justin: f*ck, is that something real?
Brian: It's real alright, but put your eyes back in your pants. He's a bottom.
[Michael and Ben bring Brett Keller over to meet Brian.]
Michael: Hey. How are you? I mean - how was your trip?
Brian: I almost didn’t come back.
Michael: We would have missed you.
Brett: That must be him. He looks just like him.
Michael: Brian, this is Brett Keller.
Brian: A the boy-wonder of Hollywood.
Brett: Sounds like to.
[Brian can barely stand up. He turns away, leaning against the railing for support.]
Brian: I head downstairs to console the losers.
Michael: Why did you let him come here? He should at home and resting.
Justin: How am I supposed to stop him when I’m not supposed to know?
[He heads downstairs after Brian, leaving Michael and Ben with Brett Keller.]
Brett: I want to recreate this place exactly like it is for the movie.
Michael: (to Ben) See? I told you so. (To Keller) Ben’s a writer, too.
Keller: Screenplays?
Ben: Books. Just finished a novel.
Keller: What’s it about?
Ben: It’s a love story between two men, set in Paris in the 30's.
[Keller doesn’t look too enthused. Poor Ben.]
Keller: Period pieces are a tough sell.
Ben: I wasn’t planning to sell it. Besides, I’m sure it’s not your thing.
Keller: And what is?
Ben: Mindless entertainment for 12-year-old boys.
Michael: Jesus, Ben!
Keller: No, I’d like to hear what he has to say. Please. Continue.
Ben: Considering you’re gay and you pretty much have the power to do anything you want, I’d think you might do a project with some relevance. Some social responsibility.
[Michael is staring daggers at him. Down on the dance floor, Brian is apparently in the process of picking up a trick.]
Justin: Brian. I'm not feeling well.
Brian: Well, you should go then.
Justin: You come with me? Please.
Brian: [to the trick] I guess he wins again.
[Once they get back home from Babylon, Michael has it out with Ben.]
Michael: Relevance? Social responsibility? How could you insult him like that?
Ben: That guy is a fraud. He’s an untalented hack!
Michael: That may be your opinion, but he’s one of the most successful directors in Hollywood.
[Ben snorts.]
Michael: There’s nothing wrong with being successful.
Ben: As long as you don’t sell out.
Michael: Who’s talking about selling out?
Ben: Don’t be naive. Do you think Brett Keller’s successful because he maintained his artistic integrity?
Michael: He loves what he does and he’s damn good at it!
Ben: You should fit in perfectly out in Hollywood.
Michael: You know, I may not be the brilliant, uncompromising genius that you are, but you know what I think? I think this has nothing to do with artistic integrity. I think that you’re jealous! Because somebody wants to make a big movie out of our comic book and no one will touch your novel!
[Michael takes his clothes and slams out. Hunter hears the argue while he's in bed.]
[Tenderly and sweetly, Justin helps Brian unbutton his shirt.]
Justin: Lemme help.
Brian: I can do it.
Justin: I know you can.
[He takes off Brian’s shirt, then he helps Brian lie on the bed and slides his jeans off. Brian has a brief moment of clarity, remembering that Justin got them out of Babylon by claiming to be sick.]
Brian: I thought you had food poisoning.
Justin: I guess it was just a tummyache.
[Brian lies back, eyes closed, drifting off. Justin gazes down at him, stroking his face gently. It’s all he can do not to say something, but he keeps his silence. He gets as close as he can to the subject, hoping that Brian will break down and tell him the truth.]
Justin: Tell me about Ibiza.
Brian: Uhh...It was like I died and went to h*m* heaven. Beautiful guys all dressed in white. And everywhere you went, it smelled like lemon-scented air freshener.
[Brian is describing the hospital. Telling Justin without telling him.]
Justin: It sounds great.
Brian: I even f*cked a matador.
Justin: No way.
Brian: Ole.
[Resting his head on Brian’s chest, Justin puts his arms around him, sniffling a bit.]
[The morning after the fight with Ben, Michael wakes up at Ted’s condo.]
Ted: Mickey, gotta get up! You're late for schoo-ool. [Michael does nothing.] GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR! NOW!
Michael: This is a hell of morning, you wake me up.
Ted: I also bring you a cappochino and a schocolate crossant.
Michael: Thanks for let me crash.
Ted: You can come to moma's every time you want.
Michael: Be careful. I end up like a permanent houseguest.
Ted: I’m sure as soon as you get back, you and Ben will fall into each other’s arms and kiss and make up.
Michael: Not until he stops acting like a jealous assh*le.
Ted: I did the same thing when Emmett’s party planning started taking off. The more successful he got, the more I resented it.
Michael: Maybe I should just forget the whole thing.
Ted: What are you, nuts? How often does an opportunity like this come along? Zzzt! Time’s up! Never!
Michael: But if it’s gonna cause all these problems -
Ted: Look. You can’t turn yourself into a failure to make your relationship a success.
Michael: Thanks, moma.
Ted: [they kiss] Every time.
[Brett Keller is at the comic store, marveling at the collection.]
Brett: Dr.Strange number one six nine. I'm trying to find this from ebay for a months. How much do I have...
Michael: It's all yours.
[His driver comes to pick him up for the airport.]
Driver: Excuse me, Mr.Keller, we need you to get to the airport to make your flight.
Brett: I'll be right there. You guys we’ll be in touch.
Michael: Thanks Brett.
Brett: And if we can’t get Colin or Ashton to play Rage, we’ll get Brian.
[Brett leaves.]
Michael: How’s he doing?
Justin: He’s still pretending like everything’s alright and I’m pretending like I don’t know. f*cking shit. I’m telling him.
Michael: You can’t! He wants it this way.
Justin: It’s easy for you to say. He’s not your boyfriend. You don’t love him.
Michael: I love him enough to honor his wishes.
[That will be put to the test soon enough.]
[Emmett pays Horvath a visit.]
Emmett: She and Vic had this huge fight. Now, she thinks he'll never forgive her, so he threw him a post christmas party where this angel broke. So, she'll brought him his headstone with a life big Gabriel blows his trompet.
Carl: Slow down, I'm not following you.
Emmett: The point is, Carl, no one can get threw her. Not me, not Michael. But something tells me, sure as I know and sure as you can, that... you can.
Carl: Didn't seem so the other day.
Emmett: Trust me. And I'll understand. In time like this a girl needs a man.
[Lindsay is painting again.]
Mel: It's been a long time.
Lindsay: Since when?
Mel: Since I seen you so happy.
Lindsay: Thanks to a certain madman friend of mine.
Mel: Oh. My. God. Did he pose for you like that?
Lindsay: With nothing but a cigar!
Mel: He really is mad.
Lindsay: You know a wonderful, furiating generous self-centred sort of way.
Mel: I'm glad he's inspired you. [they kiss] Later.
[Lindsay looks at her drawing and must laugh about something that we missed.]
[Michael and Brian are sitting on the floor, smoking a joint after a Chinese take-out dinner.]
Brian: Linda Hearley.
Michael: Who?
Brian: Linda - Hearley! AKA, Linda the hurler. I trying to find out her name all day.
Michael: Christ, what makes you thinking about her?
Brian: Your last rendering.
Michael: I hope this time I host this down.
Brian: Let's tell the story, Mikey.
Michael: You already know the story.
Brian: I don't care. Come and told me again.
Michael: It was the junior class presentation of our town... and somehow I landed in the park of George. And Linda was Emily. It was this tender moment at the end of act 2 where they kiss...
Brian: [laughs] She puked almost over her...
Michael: She had the flue!
Brian: [laughs] Alright, she had flue!
Michael: That's when I decided, it was not an actors life for me.
Brian: Now Hollywood’s calling and - Rage - “The Movie.”
Michael: He wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you. So you gonna come to the premiere?
Brian: Why wouldn’t I?
Michael: I want it to be at that theatre - you know the one with all the stars’ footprints. Wouldn’t it be cool if we had our footprints in the cement? Michael and Brian, immortalized forever. Just you and me.
[Brian is dozing off, stretched out on the floor. Michael is stroking Brian’s hair.]
Brian: Michael. Mikey.
Michael: (still crying) Shit. I’m sorry. I know. I know you didn’t go to Ibiza. I know you went to Johns Hopkins and you had surgery. Oh, my god. If I lose you, I don’t know what I’ll do!
Brian: I’m OK, I’m OK.
Michael: (still snivelling) I wasn’t supposed to tell you. I told him not to tell -
[He sits up, looks at Michael intently.]
Brian: Who?
Michael: Justin. He overheard the doctor leaving a message on your machine and he called the hospital.
[Brian shakes his head. This can’t be good.]
[Deb’s at home spending another night in front of the tube. The doorbell rings.]
Debbie: Em! [Emmett didn't go to the door.] f*ck!
[She goes to the door.]
Debbie: Hey, Carl.
Carl: You busy?
Debbie: Well, actually you safe me for the shopping chanel.
Carl: Can I come in?
Debbie: I look like shit.
Carl: Hey, I have seen you first thing in the morning. Remember?
[They sit down in the kitchen at the table.]
Carl: It must have been a shock, losing him like that, so unexpected.
Debbie: Yeah, you could say that.
Carl: So much left unsaid.
Debbie: Yeah, that too.
Carl: I understand.
Debbie: I was a f*cking assh*le, Carl. I said horrible things. Things I can never take back. Things I can never be forgiven for. You know what that’s like?
Carl: When Celia - my wife - died, she was in the hospital for three months, lingering, suffering. Lung cancer. She was so scared to die alone, she made me promise I wouldn’t let that happen. So I stayed with her, day and night. Slept in that g*dd*mn chair in that g*dd*mn hospital room, listening to her gasping for breath - One night I was so angry - at the chairs, at the hospital, at the doctors, at her for smoking - I went out and had a drink. Actually, I had so many I lost count. When I got back, she was d*ad. My wife died when I was out gettin’ sloshed. I broke my promise and my Celia died alone. I b*at myself up for a long time, Debbie, thinking she’d never forgive me. But it was me who wouldn’t forgive me. She knew how much I loved her. If she was still here, she’d say, “Carl, what the hell are you doing? Enough already!” It’s the same thing with your brother. He knew how much you loved him.
[Deb’s all tearful.]
Debbie: I’ll just never be able to tell him that I’m so sorry. I’m just so sorry!
Carl: He knows, sweetheart.
[He hugs her as she sobs. This is the catharsis she so desperately needed. At last, she’s letting out all her grief and letting go of her guilt.]
[At Ben, Michael and Hunter's flat. Michael didn't show up.]
Ben: Hey, set the table. Dinner's almost ready.
Hunter: For two or three?
Ben: Three.
Hunter: Then Michael's coming back?
Ben: Of course he's coming back.
Hunter: I heard you guys fighting last night.
Ben: We weren’t fighting. We were having a disagreement.
Hunter: You were disagreeing really loud.
Ben: Sometimes couples do that. Anyway, it doesn’t concern you.
Hunter: The f*ck it doesn’t. What happens to me if you guys break up?
Ben: Nobody’s breaking up.
Hunter: I’m just asking in case I need to make other arrangements.
Ben: You’re staying right here, pal. With us.
[Michael comes in.]
Michael: Hey.
Ben: Hey.
Michael: Ben, I'm sorry about last night.
Ben: Me, too.
Hunter: Apologize accepted. Now you guys f*ck and make up!
Ben: By the way, this came for ya.
Hunter: What's that?
Michael: Brett Keller send the option agreement. And an autograph picture for you from Cameron Diaz.
Hunter: Tight!
Ben: You gonna do it?
Michael: Yeah, we’re gonna do it.
Hunter: I’m stoked!
Ben: Congratulations.
[He almost sounds sincere.]
Michael: Thanks.
Hunter: Let's eat!
[An unsuspecting Justin arrives at the loft and finds Brian sitting at the dining room table, brooding.]
Justin: Hey. I picked up some movies. Figured we’d just stay and watch.
Brian: What’d you bring? “Terms of Endearment”? “Love Story”? “My Boyfriend Has Cancer”?
[Brian knocks the DVDs on the floor.]
Justin: Why didn’t you tell me?
Brian: Maybe because I didn’t want you to know. Or maybe because it’s none of your f*ck’ business!
Justin: Brian - I’m your partner.
Brian: Not anymore. I don’t want you here, now get the f*ck out.
Justin: Cut it out.
Brian: I said get the f*ck out!
Justin: Brian, I love you and I want to help you.
Brian: Get the f*ck out!
[He tosses Justin’s backpack out into the hallway, then shoves Justin out the door. And that’s all, folks.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x08 - Two Kinds of Lies"} | foreverdreaming |
[It's tough work being a superhero. Like any other job, there are good days and there are bad days. And then there are the really, really bad days. Brian is having one of those
right now. Vic the Evil Scientist has him strapped to a table with a giant g*n aimed right at his crotch. Vic is laughing demonically.]
Vic: Isn't this fun?
Brian: Maybe for you but that's because you're a sadistic shit!
Vic: Who, me?
Brian: I'll never tell you where the jewels are!
Vic: Make that jew-el! Who knows? If you're lucky, you might even get a few more good years. Like me!
[He blasts the rays. Brian screams in agony. What's worse, the nightmare or the reality? Brian is lying on an examining table wearing one of those horrible blue hospital gowns. Evil Uncle Vic has been replaced by a nurse. The ray g*n has been replaced by a radiation machine.]
Nurse: Mr.Kinney? Mr.Kinney! That's it for today. We'll see you again tomorrow. (She helps Brian up to a sitting position). And I should warn you. You'll feel fine for the next few hours but you're gonna h*t a wall around noon. Nausea, pain, fatigue. They're all normal side effects. In fact, I would suggest that for the next few days, you just stay home. Take it easy. Don't go to work.
Brian: Thank you, nurse! That's excellent advice!
[Which he has no intention of following.]
[Hunter has found something more interesting to read than Catcher in the f*cking Rye: a California guidebook.]
Hunter: First thing we do when we get to Hollywood is go to Universal Studios. The rides sound awesome. And then we do the Graveline Tour. It takes you to all the places where stars have been m*rder! And then-
Michael: And then we go to Grauman's Chinese Theatre and we steal John Wayne's footprints.
[Hunter looks at him blankly.]
Michael: Lucy? I Love Lucy? Going to Hollywood and - never mind. Could you save me some cereal?
Ben: Aren't you being a bit premature?
Hunter: Why? We're going, aren't we? You said Brett told you it was a done deal.
Michael: That's Mr. Keller to you and nothing's a done deal until it's done.
Ben: I'm done.
[He grabs his jacket.]
Michael: So, busy day?
Ben: Oh, classes, research at the library, student advisory meetings. I'm also supposed to hear from Greenpoint Press.
Michael: They interested in your novel?
Ben: Mmm - let's just say the editor seemed receptive, which at least is better than another rejection. Keep your fingers crossed.
[He's out the door.]
Hunter: He should try to eat some grain in the morning instead of those crappy shakes. He'd be a lot happier. Not to mention regular.
Michael: I think it's gonna take more than a bowl of bran. And you could try and be a little more sensitive.
Hunter: Huh?
Michael: "Huh?" Ben is going through a tough time right now. I'm sure all this talk isn't making it any easier. So from now on, let's try not to use the word Hollywood in a sentence.
[Brian gets a little surprise when he arrives at Kinnetik: Justin is there waiting for him.]
Brian: What the f*ck are you doing here?
Justin: I'm waiting for you. You won't answer the door, you won't return my calls -
Brian: Well, that should be a hint!
Justin: Why won't you see me?
Brian: Cynthia! Cynthia!
[Cynthia comes running in.]
Cynthia: Jesus, Brian, what's going on?
Justin: You can't just kick me out.
Brian: Watch me. (To Cynthia) I don't want his calls, I don't want him in this office and if he comes near me I want a restraining order. Got it?
[Cynthia just stares at him like he's gone insane.]
Brian: And if some assh*le named Vic Grassi calls from Hell, you can tell him I'm in a meeting.
[Justin leaves.]
[Emmett's with Debbie at the cemetery. It has snowing. The snow hide Vic's headstone. Deb wipe off.]
Debbie: Well, Vic, it's not quite the headstone I'd originally intended.
Emmett: But as you may have heard, Michaelangelo's not taking any more commissions.
Debbie: But it's solid. It' s hard, smooth - Come to think of it, that's a lot of the attributes you liked in a man!
[Em's cell rings.]
Emmett: Uh, whoever use a cell phone with vibration it shakes you out. Excuse me.
Debbie: Yeah, don't worry, honey. We aren't in a hurry.
[Emmett leaves.]
Debbie: So, I planned flowers. And Vic, I just want to say whereever you are... of course I know where you are. You're in heaven, where the hell are you else? That, uh that take disput and yell beside, I love you. Always. You know that baby, aren't you?
[Emmett speaks at the cell phone.]
Emmett: Arested?
Debbie: [to Vic's grave] And I hope you forgave me for that I did.
Emmett: [to cell phone] What did you do? DUI?! How the hell we are go to the party tonight?
Debbie: [to Vic's grave] And that's all because this silly party.
Emmett: [to cell phone] No, I cannot recomment a attorney. I left you in those shaft.
Debbie: [to Vic's grave] Rest in peace, little brother.
Emmett: [to cell phone] Brathe in hell, you little f*ck! [he hangs up. he comes back] Oh, well, well Vic, why you have to die?
Debbie: I know honey. We know he's in a better place.
[At the diner, Lindsay, Mel and Michael coo over Mel's sonogram.]
Lindsay: It's a warm and wonderful place, filled with love and possibilities.
Mel: You'll have to forgive my wife. She tends to wax poetic in direct proportion to the size of my tummy.
Lindsay: Oh, c'mon. You've done your fair share of waxing yourself.
Mel: I've never once waxed. And even if I did, our paltry expressions would pale in comparison to Michael's rhapsodizing.
Michael: Shit. Will you check out the dick on this kid?!
Mel: Or not.
Lindsay: That's the umbilical cord.
Mel: And besides, you can't tell from this whether it's a boy or a girl. Although something tells me a princess is on the way.
Michael: Well, it's OK with me if he's gay.
Lindsay: I gotta run. We're installing the Auerbach show.
Michael: Don't forget Lamaze.
Lindsay: Do you think we could move it?
Michael: Hey, why don't I go?
Lindsay: You?
Michael: Is it a class for lesbian mothers? I won't shave my legs! No one will notice.
Lindsay: No, of course not.
Michael: Good. Then it'll serve as a general reminder that until someone comes up with a better plan, you still need a man for some things.
[Justin walks by.]
Michael: Hey, where have you been? I need those panels so I can come up with some dialogue for the evil a**l prober.
Justin: How about up your ass?
[He walks out.]
Michael: Sounds about right.
Michael: Hey. Hey! (He actually sounds pissed.) What's up with you?
Justin: What do you think? You told him that we knew, didn't you?
Michael: Look, I - I didn't mean to. It just -
Justin: What? Slipped out? "We know you have cancer"? That is the f*cking lamest excuse I've ever heard. You're the one who said that we should be strong and honor his wishes.
Michael: I'm sorry!
Jutsin: Do you have any idea how hard that's been? Why are you sorry? Did he kick you out? Did he say he never wanted to see you again? Well, if that's the way he wants it, I'll be glad to honor those wishes, too!
[He leaves Michael standing there, dumbfounded.]
[At the library, Ben is approached by a former student, Anthony Flynn.]
Anthony: Professor Bruckner.
Ben: That's me.
Anthony: You should remember me. It was in your summer class last year.
Ben: So many students in so many class.
Anthony: Anthony Flynn.
Ben: I hope you enjoyed it.
Anthony: It was great. In fact I leave and brought your book.
Ben: Oh, did you read it?
Anthony: A few times, actually. I loved it. So well-written. I agree with the critics at the back.
Ben: Oh, only a few copies saled.
Anthony: I hope we can talked sometimes about it. You see, I'm a writer to.
Ben: I would like that, Anthony but it's my policy not to fraternize with my students.
Anthony: Even formerly ones? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you in an awkward position.
Ben: No, it's okay.
Anthony: It's just that your book really spoke to me. As a gay man, I mean. By the time I'd finished it, I felt I'd discovered things about myself I'd never known.
Ben: Thank you.
[He starts to leave, but then he turnes back.]
Ben: Flynn. You used to sit about halfway back. Way over on the right by the window with the f*re escape.
Anthony: That's me!
[Debbie and Emmett, at home. Emmett calls and order the menu. Debbie sit at the table and reads "The October Detective".]
Emmett: Uh, huh. No, sure. I understand. [he hangs up] So, that was the last possibility.
Debbie: I know your business is f*cked. But never fear, the help is here.
Emmett: Where?
Debbie: You're looking at it. I can shift my shift tonight and give you a hand.
Emmett: Oh, thanks, but I need more than a hand. I need an entire body. Prefferly it belong to a shop.
Debbie: What's the matter with my cooking?
Emmett: Don't take that the wrong way, but not everything covered in marinara sauce.
Debbie: Fine!
Emmett: "The October Detective"
Debbie: Mmmh, is one of those series.
Emmett: Of twelve?
Debbie: How did you guess?
Emmett: Well, come some clue, come some quick. For instance I have never-known to read Detective novels.
Debbie: So?
Emmett: So I would use my power of deduction that it has something to do with one Lieutnent Horvath.
Debbie: Sorry, Sherlock. Carl came here strictly as a friend and there's nothing between us.
Emmett: The look in his eyes said otherwise.
Debbie: What do you know about the look in a man's - never mind, I take it back.
Emmett: Stop living in a book and start living your life. God, those milch is fabelous. Perhaps I underestimate your skills.
Debbie: My cholocate sauce is covered by marinara sauce. What is with this sweet kid, Darren? The one that get bashed? I send him food from the diner and now he sends my goodies back. Like a thank you and he does it all by himself. I tell you, he can dance, he can cook. He is a knock out in a dress.
[Emmett hears and rushes out the door.]
Debbie: Em? Em?! Where the f*ck he'd go?
[When Ted finds Brian slumped on the office sofa, he tries to do a little twelve-stepping.]
Ted: Brian? Brian? Jesus Christ, what's wrong?
Brian: Nothing. I'm fine. Why do you ask?
Ted: Well, for one thing, you look like shit.
Brian: Thank you.
Ted: This is the second time this has happened.
Brian: f*cking accountants. They have to keep a record of everything.
[Hee! I love that line.]
Ted: I just want you to know that you can trust me. As a friend and as someone who has been through it all. I mean there is nothing I haven't seen or done, which is why I don't presume to judge anyone, but there's one thing I know. The first and hardest step you'll ever have to take is admitting you have a problem. Once you've done that, you're on the road to recovery.
Brian: It's the Big C, Ted.
Ted: Cocaine?
Brian: It's bigger.
Ted: Crystal?
Brian: Bigger.
Ted: Caffeine?
Brian: It's cancer, Theodore!
Ted: C-c-c-
Brian: But relax. They got it. I'm having radiation. It started this morning. Excuse me.
[He goes into the bathroom and hurls. While he's gone, Ted pours him a glass of water.]
Ted: I can't tell you how relieved I am. [Brian gives him a look] I mean, that you're gonna be alright.
Brian: Thank you.
[He lies down on the couch.]
Ted: Is there anything I can do?
Brian: As a matter of fact, you can do three things. First, keep your big mouth shut. Or you're fired.
Ted: Sealing, sealing (zips lips). The second?
Brian: I want you to cover for me this afternoon with Dandy Lube.
Ted: Cover for you?
Brian: Make the presentation.
Ted: But - I -
Brian: Look, if you could pretend that you were Pavarotti at that pathetic pasta palace, you can do this.
Ted: What's the third?
Brian: Call me a cab. I'm going home.
[In the cafeteria with Anthony an Ben.]
Anthony: The part where all your friends were turning positive? But you still hadn't been infected.
Ben: I remember feeling terrified that I'd be next. But at the same time feeling like I just wanted to get it over with.
Anthony: Then when you converted, it put you in a whole different place!
Ben: Spiritually, emotionally, politically.
Anthony: I have to tell you, it was very moving.
Ben: Anthony, may I ask you a personal question?
Anthony: I feel like I already know so much about you, it's only fair.
Ben: Are you positive?
Anthony: No. But your book still spoke to me. And isn't that the measure of any great book? That it speaks to everyone?
Ben: I don't know about that. About it being a great book. But thanks.
Anthony: So, the question is, when's the next one coming out?
Ben: That is the question. Just finished a novel about two men. It's set in Paris in the 30's.
Anthony: Sounds great!
Ben: There are a couple dozen publishers who don't agree with you. They all turned it down.
Anthony: Well, I'd love to read it. If you'd let me.
Ben: I don't know.
Anthony: Hey. I'm an English lit major, a budding young writer and I work in a library. Oh - and I got an A in your course. That should qualify me to know a little something about good writing.
Ben: At the risk of losing a fan -
[He hands Anthony the manuscript.]
Anthony: Or gaining an even bigger one.
[Emmett's search for a chef. Emmett visits Darren, who is rehearsing at Woody's. When he finishes singing, Emmett does the ret*rd seal clap.]
Emmett: Bravo. Uh, I mean brava! I'm Emmett Honeycut. I live with Debbie Novotny. We met in the so-what-Christmas party.
Darren: Right.
Emmett: You were fabulous. I just love the clothes, the gauntlet,... the chocolate muse.
Darren: Excuse me?
Emmett: I'm a party planer. Debbie's brother, Vic, was my chef before he passed away. He's gone now but our business isn't. Who ever someone knows the show must go on, it's you. So...
Darren: You want Chanda Leer to performing at a party?
Emmett: No, I want Darren to cook for a party.
Darren: But I... I aren't a chef.
Emmett: Well, you do a fabulous imagination of that, too. I mean those delicate sauce you can send them over to a five star hotel.
Darren: I would love to help you out, but Chanda is making a comeback... God, I hate that word. It's a return, there is no time.
Emmett: Well, I can't help drying. Good luck, oh, break a leg.
[He turns the music on... and stumble over his feed and falls.]
Darren: Damn!
Emmett: I don't mean that way.
Darren: Look at this. [his shoes are broken] Do you know how much this black pumps have cost? Not to mention the new gauntlet, and the hair. Shanda maybe a star but she's going drive me into the poor house.
Emmett: Honey, let's review. You need the money and I need someone so service my guest with food.
[Darren agrees to be Emmett's chef.]
[Michael's comic book. Hunter comes in.]
Hunter: Mail's here.
Michael: Since when I get a special delivery?
Hunter: Since this arrive from this place in Hollywood.
Michael: It's from Brett.
Hunter: You mean Mr.Keller? Stop starring and open the g*dd*mn letter already!
[He does so.]
Hunter: Well?
Michael: There are two checks. One made out for Justin and one made out for me about $10,000!
[They wild whooping and cheering ensues.]
Hunter: Oh my god! We're rich!
Michael: Not quite.
Hunter: But we will be!
Michael: Just imagine, Rage on the silver screen, big budget special effects -
Hunter: Millions in fast-food merchandising tie-ins!
Michael: Tom Cruise pumping away in hot superhero mansex.
Hunter: Careful, he'll sue your ass.
Michael: Can't sue someone for dreaming.
Hunter: Speaking of dreams - this came too. It's from Green Point Press.
Michael: Well, you can't open someone else's mail. It's a federal offense.
Hunter: I can see it now. I'm on death row awaiting a lethal injection. This mass m*rder who k*lled 48 babies and ate them asks me what I'm being ex*cuted for? I say, "Opening Ben's letter!"
Michael: Still, it's not ethical.
Hunter: Ethical, shmethical. Oops! Too late! Should I seal it back up?
Michael: I suppose since it's already opened...
Hunter: That's what I like, a man with values.
Michael: Well?
Hunter: They think it sucks!
Michael: Shit! Ben's gonna be so upset!
Hunter: Not if he never gets it.
[That's too much, even for Michael. He takes the letter from Hunter and pockets it.]
[Deb pays a visit to Horvath at the station.]
Debbie: May I interrupting?
Carl: I was just about to devour my sandwich.
Debbie: In my neighborhood, that's three guys f*cking.
Carl: C'mon in. Have a seat. How you doing?
Debbie: Better. Thanks in no small part to you.
Carl: Glad to hear it.
Debbie: I'm - uh - I'm sorry you're finishing lunch cause I was gonna take you up on your offer. You know, step out, have a bite. But I have to warn you, Carl, I haven't changed much. I've still got that big mouth and I still speak my mind and I'm still as stubborn as a prom week pimple. But if that's still OK with you, then how about dinner?
Carl: Debbie -
Debbie: I've been having these dreams about lobster lately. I'm adrift on this sea of melted butter and -
Carl: Debbie.
Debbie: What?
Carl: I've been seeing someone.
[Deb's face falls, but she makes a pretty good recovery.]
Debbie: Oh!
Carl: For a couple of months now. Her name's Katherine.
Debbie: (brightly) That's good news!
Carl: See - when I asked you if you wanted to get a bite, it was as friends. I hope I didn't give you the wrong -
Debbie: Oh, no, no, not at all! Katherine. I had an aunt named Katherine! She was a great lady. She was named after Katherine Hepburn, another great lady. Well, I'm very happy for you, Carl. I truly am.
[Ted makes the Dandy Lube presentation, in classic Kinney style - only not.]
Ted: The difference between our lube and their lube is that our lube says "sex."
[He tries to throw the apple like Brian while his presentation. But his apple falls on the ground.]
Ted: If you wanna be cool, if you wanna be popular, if you wanna get laid, this is the lube you use. On your car, I mean.
Mr. DeCarlo: I fail to see how getting an oil change or having your tires rotated can improve your sex life.
Ted: Well, see - that's where you're wrong.
Mr. DeCarlo: I'm WRONG?
Ted: Not - not wrong. I mean, just - not right.
Cynthia: What he means is that with a sexier, more playful new image, you can expand Dandy lube's share of the market.
Ted: Yeah, yeah - that's it. What she said.
Mr. DeCarlo: By suggesting we have half-naked muscle boys offering lube jobs at a clothing-optional garage?
Cynthia: By appealing to women and gay men.
Doug: It's an interesting point, Dad. Gays are an important demographic these days.
Mr. DeCarlo: Well, we're meeting with Vanguard this afternoon. I'm sure they'll have a more straightforward approach.
[He gets up to leave.]
Mr. DeCarlo: Coming, Doug?
Doug: [to Cynthia] Can you direct me to the men's room?
Cynthia: It's down the hall to your left.
[Doug goes and throws Ted with a look.]
Cynthia: That'd be your cue!
Ted: My cue?
Cynthia: To nail the account!
Ted: Oh, no. I couldn't, I mean- well, what makes you think that he - suppose he's not -
Cynthia: It never stopped Brian! (She gives him a little shove.) Make him proud.
[Ted heads to the men's room.]
Doug: Your presentation was very - interesting.
Ted: Your father didn't seem to think so.
Doug: Dad just hears the initial pitches and then it's up to me to follow through. So, do you have anything else you'd like to show me?
[Ted takes a deep breath.]
Ted: Yeah. This.
[He grabs Doug and drags him into the stall. Not quite Brian Kinney, but close enough.]
[At the gallery, Lindsay is setting up Sam's show]
Lindsay: Perfect timing. They brought the frames. Don't you like it?
Sam: I already know what my stuff looks like. I'm far more interested in seeing stuff that isn't mine.
[He starts poking around. He picks up a painting that's still wrapped.]
Lindsay: Oh, that's nothing! Just a minor piece by an unknown artist.
Sam: (reading the label) Peterson! It's a figure study.
Lindsay: Sam, Sam, wait! I'm not sure you're gonna like it. I'm not even sure if I like it.
Sam: Then why'd you have it framed?
Lindsay: Good question.
Sam: Is something wrong?
Lindsay: No, nothing! Why do you ask?
Sam: You're hyperventilating. You'd better sit down. I wouldn't want you to do something girly - like faint.
Lindsay: Easy for you to say. Sam Auerbach isn't about to evaluate your work.
Sam: Holy shit!
[She jumps up from the chair.]
Lindsay: I knew you wouldn't like it.
Sam: Would you sit down and shut up? (He looks it over.) You flatter me, my dear. By at least a couple inches.
Lindsay: What about the rest of you?
Sam: It doesn't look like me.
Lindsay: That's what Gertrude Stein said to Picasso about her portrait. You know what he said? "It will."
Sam: It's good. It's really good. If it weren't me, I'd be jealous.
Lindsay: You were the inspiration.
Sam: You know, if you weren't a f*cking d*ke, I'd ask you to marry me.
Lindsay: Oh, is that how it works? You propose to any woman who flatters you?
Sam: Generally speaking and with disastrous results.
Lindsay: Well, if I weren't already married, I must just accept.
[Let's hurry over to the loft where Michael is pounding on Brian's door.]
Michael: Brian! Brian!
[Finally Brian answers. He looks like shit.]
Michael: Jesus, what happened to you?
Brian: Chernobyl.
Michael: Christ! You should be in bed.
Brian: Well, I was. Someone kept knock-knock-knocking at my f*cking door.
[He takes off his coat and goes into the kitchen.]
Brian: What are you doing?
Michael: I'm making you some chicken soup. [Opens the fridge] There's nothing in here but beer and poppers.
Brian: All the essentials.
Michael: Well, you're gonna have to stock up on groceries.
[He grabs pen and paper to make a shopping list.]
Brian: Michael -
Michael: As long as I'm here, I can do your laundry -
Brian: (yelling) Michael!
[That finally gets Mikey's attention.]
Brian: This is exactly why I didn't want anyone to know. It's why I told everyone I went to Ibiza, in the hopes that I wouldn't be treated like an invalid or a victim or like I was gonna die. Now would you get out of here!
[He yells the last part and knocks something on the floor for emphasis. Then he stalks back to the bedroom, crawls into bed and puts his head under the pillow. Michael follows him and pulls off the pillow.]
Brian: What don't you understand about "f*ck off"?
Michael: You think you can kick me out of here the way you did Justin? And for what? Trying not to let on that he knew? Because that's the way you wanted it? He deserves to know. He's your lover, your partner, whether you want to admit it or not, and sick or not, that's a f*cking shitty way to treat him!
Brian: I was only trying to make it easier.
Michael: By never seeing him again?
Brian: He would have left sooner or later anyway. Might as well be sooner.
Michael: What are you talking -
Brian: (explodes) Would you just go home, Michael? Go home to your wife and your kid!
[Emmett's catering job is an engagement party at the large, expensive home of a pro football player.]
Drew: Have I told you how much I love you?
Woman: Not for at least any minutes.
Drew: Then I better remind you. [he kisses her.]
[Emmet goes to the kitchen where Darren cooks.]
Emmett: What a great party. All those sunday afternoon football games jocks.
Woman: [comes in] Hurry, time for ennouncement.
Emmett: Here we go.
[They serve the champagner bar.]
Woman: [in the living room] Can we have attention everyone? We have an announcement to make.
Drew: As you all knows there is only one person who's better kicking balls than I am - that's Shila.
[all laughs.]
Drew: So after threw kick mind over the Golden Bridge I finally agree to marry her.
Shila: We're engaged.
[all applauds. They kisses each other. The other football guys are going to Drew. They are talking in hearing distance to Emmett.]
Guy#1: Hey Drew, where you get those caters?
Drew: Look like a couple of flamers to me.
[All laughs. Emmett look to him.]
Emmett: Excuse me, Mr. Boyd? [they go to the edge.] I know this isn't the place to saying this. Back in Hazelhurst, Mississippi, where I grew up, I was always taught that when a real man has something to say about someone, he says it to his face, not behind his back. So even though you may be a star, captain of the team, hero to millions, you still have a lot to learn about being a man.
[He walks off looking pleased with himself.]
[When Ben gets home, he finds the rejection letter from Greenpoint Press.]
Ben: It looks like someone's opened it.
Hunter: It must have been one of the neighbors. They're always snooping.
Ben: They rejected it.
Hunter: We know! I mean, that totally sucks!
Michael: I'm sorry, Ben.
Ben: Well, I guess that's that.
Michael: Didn't some famous writer, like Ernest Hemingway or Stephen King, send their book to 24 publishers before someone finally accepted it?
Ben: This is the 25th.
Michael: Still, you're a wonderful writer with millions of stories inside of you. That's why I got you something to help you tell them.
[He gets out a box.]
Ben: What's that?
Hunter: It's called a computer.
Michael: You said you needed a new one.
Ben: I didn't realize you could afford something this extravagant.
Hunter: It was me. I paid for it. I've been moonlighting -
Michael: I got a check today from - Hollywood.
Ben: So you read my mail, figured you'd better do something to cheer me up and went out and bought me a computer?
Michael: That's pretty much the plot in a nutshell.
Ben: Well, I don't want your consolation prize or your pity.
[He leaves in a huff.]
Hunter: So, this is mean I get the computer?
[Ben's writing in a notebook, at his table is the new computer.]
Michael: Writing?
Ben: Preparing a lecture.
Michael: How about I order a pizza?
Ben: Not hungry.
Michael: How about you handcuff me to the bed -
Ben: Michael. Can't you see I'm working?
Michael: Yes, now that you mention it, I can. I can also see the new computer I got you sitting alone, ignored, like some geeky guy at the prom.
Ben: Jesus!
Michael: Look - I know what you've been going through. Believe it or not, I've had more than my fair share of rejections. Like by practically every club, every college, every job I ever went up for.
Ben: But you're being accepted now, that's all that counts.
Michael: But I just don't want you to blame me or make me feel like it's my fault.
Ben: I'm sorry I did that. I have no one to credit for my failure but myself. Which is why I've decided to reevaluate my goals, refocus my energy and stop writing. At least for awhile. I feel I should start concentrating my efforts on what I do best, which is to teach. It's where my skills are. It's where my life is leading me.
Michael: Ben -
Ben: Oh, I forgot. I've got to go to my office.
Michael: Now?
Ben: I left some reference books I need for my lecture and a pile of term papers.
Michael: When will you be back?
Ben: Don't know. I'm sure you can return it and get your money back.
[He kisses Michael on the cheek and leaves.]
[Emmett drops by the football player's house to pick up his check and his equipment.]
Emmett: Is Sierra here?
Drew: She's up with her girlfriends.
Emmett: Oh, well I came by to get the check and get my equipment.
Drew: Yeah, she left your check. C'mon in.
[At the living room Drew give him the check. A Sunday Night Football Games are playing at the TV.]
Drew: Here you go.
Emmett: Thanks. I get my equipment.
Drew: How about a beer? I'm not supposed to be drinking, but I'm in pretty good shape. Wouldn't you say?
[He lifts up his shirt.]
Emmett: I'd say one beer's not gonna ruin that six-pack.
Drew: (gesturing at game playing on TV) That was last week's game. Coach makes us watch ourselves.
Emmett: Which one are you?
Drew: Number 7.
Emmett: Very - graceful. In a rugged, manly way! You know, there's something I've always wanted to ask. Why the tight pants?
Drew: So there's nothing to grab onto if you're tackled.
Emmett: Why are you always patting each other's asses?
Drew: Just friendly encouragement.
Emmett: You know, I don't see much difference in how you play your game on Sunday afternoons and how I play my game on Saturday nights.
Drew: Here. (Tosses a football) Catch.
Emmett: (catches it) Omigod! Did you see that? I never caught a ball in my life!
[Drew tackles Emmett and they both wind up on the floor. ]
Drew: You okay?
Emmett: This also isn't much different than my Saturday nights. You have a very nice body.
Drew: You think so?
Emmett: Strong, hard.
Drew: Feel my bicep. Go on. (Emmett feels it.) Now feel this. (He leads Emmett hand to his crotch).
Emmett: What about Sierra?
Drew: She thinks I have a nice body, too.
[He rolls Emmett over and pulls his pants down.]
[Ben is working in his office when he has an unexpected visitor. It's Anthony.]
Anthony: I was working late and figured you might be, too. So I took a chance and stopped by.
Ben: Well, you figured right. Except as you can see, I'm a little busy doing research for this lecture.
Anthony: I won't keep you. I just wanted to tell you I read your book.
Ben: Already? That was fast!
Anthony: It's like I missed the last 36 hours. I was so enthralled, I couldn't put it down.
Ben: That's a first. Most people could barely pick it up.
Anthony: What the f*ck do they know?
Ben: I'd like to think not much.
Anthony: Exactly.
Ben: Thank you, Anthony.
Anthony: No, thank you. For entrusting me with it. When you have a spare moment, maybe we can go for coffee again. Discuss it.
Ben: Great.
[Anthony turns to go.]
Ben: Anthony - actually, I have a moment now.
[At the office, Brian drinks ginger ale and valiantly tries not to barf.]
Ted: Bri? Dandy Lube just called. We got 'em.
Brian: Way to go, Theodore. I told you you could do it.
Ted: It was a little dicey at first, but I managed to convince 'em.
Brian: How'd you do that?
Ted: Just thought to myself, "What would Brian Kinney do?" After that, it was a snap. You don't look so hot. Why don't you let me mind the shop and go home?
[No argument from Brian. He leaves. When he gets back home, Justin is there.]
Brian: I thought I told you to get out.
Justin: I guess I didn't hear. You tend to mumble a lot.
[Brian slams his briefcase down on the counter.]
Justin: You want some soup? It's Debbie's homemade recipe.
Brian: No wonder I feel like barfing. Listen to me, you little shit. I don't want you here.
Justin: I don't care what you want.
[Brian grabs him by the arm, but he's too weak to throw Justin out again.]
Justin: You're not getting rid of me!
[They struggle briefly. Brian ends up on the floor.]
Justin: Shit, are you alright? Tell me you're alright!
Brian: (shoves Justin away) I'm alright!
Justin: You're not alright.
Brian: (yells) Then what the hell are you asking me for?
Justin: So that I can tell you what a f*ck piece of shit you are for not telling me! For shutting me out. For thinking that you could handle this on your own. And most of all, for thinking that I would leave you. Why would you think that? Cause you had a ball removed? Because you're no longer perfect? Well, believe me, Mr. Kinney, that is the least of your imperfections. And if I'd wanted to leave you, I've had better reasons. Plenty of 'em.
Brian: Maybe you should have.
Justin: Yeah, maybe you're right. But I thought we had a commitment. And I plan to stand by it. Now why don't you get your ass back in bed, you son-of-a-bitch! And eat some f*cking chicken soup!
[The fight drains out of Brian. Slowly and painfully, he walks into the bedroom and lies down. Justin follows with the bowl of soup, sitting on the side of the bed. Fade to black.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x09 - Have Some Balls"} | foreverdreaming |
[In the opening scene, we see Drew Boyd, freaking out during the photo sh**t for the Brown Athletics underwear ad.]
Drew: (talking into his cell) I don't give a shit. I need to talk to him now! (Pacing around) Stuart. I can't do this.
Brian: What the f*ck is going on here?
Photographer: Your subject is being most uncooperative.
Ted: He said he made a big mistake. He's talking to his agent.
Brian: Well, did you remind him that he has a contract?
Ted: Yeah, I did remind him.
Drew: No, I'm not gonna grin and bear it! You're gonna get me out of this!
Brian: Anything I can do to help?
Drew: Yeah. You can get me my pants.
Brian: Before I do that, why don't we discuss your concerns?
Drew: There's nothing to discuss. I'm not doing it!
Brian: It's a little bit late for that, isn't it?
Drew: I'm Drew Boyd. I call the sh*ts.
Brian: Except when I have the ball.
Drew: I'm feeling kind of exposed, you know? I'm not used to standing around in my shorts.
Brian: What about in the locker room? You stand around in a lot less.
Drew: In the locker room everyone's showing their ass.
[Brian smiles. Cut to Drew posing in his underwear, the photographer snapping away. Panning around the room, we see that everybody's in their underwear. Most everybody's in black, but Brian's wearing those long gray jockey shorts. And Ted has boxers.]
Ted: Christ, he's hot. What a pity he's straight.
Brian: Well, even if he weren't, do you think he'd f*ck you wearing those? (He casts a derisive glance at Ted's boxers).
Ted: I wasn't expecting to be standing around in my shorts.
Brian: I don't know if he's gonna sell any underwear, but he sure as hell is gonna sell a lot of Kleenex.
[Cut to post-coital Emmett and Drew in a motel room.]
Drew: Once I got used to everybody staring at me in my shorts, it got to be a real turn-on.
Emmett: But only I know what's under them. Guess we'd better get up!
Drew: What's your hurry?
Emmett: Well, soon as we're through you always bound out of bed and race to the showers, so I just assumed -
Drew: I wanna just lie here.
Emmett: You sure?
Drew: You see me moving?
Emmett: (settles back down, with his head on Drew's rock hard abs) Mmm...what's the world coming to? First a kiss, then stickin' around... next thing you know, you'll be asking me to the big game. Yeah, I said too much, didn't I?
Drew: You know the rules.
Emmett: I know. What goes on in this room is between you, me and the four walls and must never leave here under penalty of death.
Drew: You got it, sport.
[He smacks Emmett's butt and gets up to take a shower.]
[Michael frantically tries to reach Hunter on his cell phone, while Ben grades papers.]
Michael: Straight to voice mail. What's the point of getting him a cell phone if he's not gonna pick up?
[Just then, the prodigal foster son returns.]
Michael: That's me going off in your pocket! How about answering it for a change?
Hunter: What's up your ass?
Michael: It's past 11:00.
Ben: You missed your curfew again. Where you been?
Hunter: Studying with a friend.
Michael: Every night this week?
Hunter: We're working on a project.
Ben: Who is this friend?
Hunter: Someone from school.
Ben: And the project?
Hunter: It's for science.
Michael: Penicillin's already been discovered. What have you found?
Hunter: What's with all the f*cking questions?
Michael: We would like an honest answer.
Hunter: I told you the truth. If you don't wanna believe me, that's your problem.
[He slams into his room.]
Michael: I hate to say it -
Ben: You don't have to. I know what you're thinking.
Michael: If he's out hustling again, I'll f*cking rip his balls off, as my dear mother would say.
Ben: Let's hope we've instilled more self-respect in him than that.
Michael: After the way he's been acting?
Ben: Whatever it is, we'll find out eventually.
Michael: Then what?
Ben: We'll just have to deal with it.
[Lindsay is a jittery mess. Her hands are shaking so badly that she can't even get the key in the lock to open up the gallery. Sam strolls up, smoking a cigar.]
Sam: Need any help?
Lindsay: No. Thanks. I can do it. I do it every morning. (She drops the keys). Shit!
[Sam picks up the keys, bending down painfully.]
Sam: My back's been k*lling me ever since I did that g*dd*mn mural. Hope Michaelangelo had a good chiropractor. Why haven't you returned my calls?
Lindsay: I've been busy. The show's been a huge success. Isn't it great? Almost everything sold.
Sam: Another month of alimony payments! My wives will be eternally grateful. I want to see you.
Lindsay: I can't.
Sam: Why not?
Lindsay: Why not? Try, 'I'm married.' I have a child and another one on the way. Oh, and did I happen to mention lest we forget that I'm a lesbian?
Sam: Did I mention that you sure don't f*ck like one?
[Lindsay closes her eyes briefly, draws a deep breath.]
Lindsay: Jesus Christ, Sam. Why do you have to be so crude?
Sam: You didn't mind the other night, rolling around on the floor, rutting like a -
Lindsay: What happened the other night was a mistake. A huge mistake.
Sam: Was it?
Lindsay: Yes, it was. Look, Sam. You inspire me. You challenge me. You make me laugh. I admire you so much. I guess I got confused, you know? And I crossed a line I shouldn't have.
Sam: When I was a kid, I didn't respect the lines. In my coloring books, I always crossed the lines. I didn't play the rules at all. I don't think that's always such a bad thing.
Lindsay: For an artist, no. But for a person, sometimes it makes sense to read the manual and follow instructions, dull as that may sound to you.
Sam: What about the part of you that secretly yearns for something else, the part of you that both of us know is there?
Lindsay: My house has many rooms; I occupy but a few. The rest go unvisited.
Sam: Who said that?
Lindsay: I did.
[She enters the gallery.]
[Apparently, Vic left some furniture to a local AIDS hospice in his will. Vic's furniture is delivered by the rather unlikely team of Michael, Justin, Ted and Melanie.]
Guy: Nice chest.
Michael: I think he's talking to the furniture.
Guy: [looking at Justin] That too.
Michael: Uncle Vic brought this to the hospice as well.
Director: He was always a good friend and a great supporter.
[Mel and Ted enters the hospice.]
Direcotr: [to Mel] Oh, I can't tell you how much we're appreciate this. We need all the help we can get.
Mel: Hopefully this new event coordinator will come through.
Director: He'd better.
Ted: They say he raised over $1 million for a hospice in Cincinnati.
Director: A million? My God. If we raise half that, we'll be in heaven.
[At the diner, Deb calls out to a guy sitting at the counter reading the sports section.]
Debbie: Hey, Freddy! How about those Ironmen? Are they somethin' else?
"Freddy": (in a gruff voice) Yeah, they're something else, alright.
Debbie: You oughta take something for that cold.
[She peeks behind the paper. It's not Freddy; it's Emmett!]
Debbie: Emmett! What are you doin' with the sports page?! Let me get you the style section, honey!
Emmett: No, no, Deb! These days, the sports page will do me just fine.
[A cop sits down at the counter.]
Cop: Hey, Deb.
Debbie: Hey, Bob. I haven't you seen an age. Where have you been?
Cop: Well, I had some trouble, but I'm on my feed again. So you see Carl?
Debbie: No, not lately.
Cop: You're there tonight?
Debbie: Where?
Cop: Policeman's ball. He took you last year.
Debbie: Yeah.
Cop: I remember. You're looking real nice.
Debbie: Thanks. I guess he must be taking someone else.
Emmett: Excuse me, officer? Anyone can go to the Policemen's Ball, am I correct?
Cop: Anyone who buys a ticket. I'll take the Pink Plate Special. Only make mine blue.
[He wanders off.]
Debbie: Don't tell me you're thinkin' of goin'.
Emmett: If I can find a date.
Debbie: Good luck.
Emmett: Hey - what about you?
Debbie: Me? What are you, out of your f*cking mind?
Emmett: Why not?
Debbie: You just heard, Carl's gonna be there! Probably with that lady he's been seeing.
Emmett: So? That's no reason not to go! In fact, all the more reason to be there! Show him what he's missing!
Debbie: Not much.
Emmett: Now, now! Let's keep our self-esteem - and our tits - up.
Debbie: Even if I wanted to go, "with my tits up," I've got nothing to drape 'em in.
Emmett: Just leave that to your fairy god- no, I'm not even gonna say it. Too trite. However [waves straw like magic wand], you will look fabulous. I guarantee it.
[Wracked by guilt, Lindsay confides in the one person least likely to judge her. Who needs a minister or therapist when you've got Brian?]
Lindsay: What have I done? Now he wants to see me again and of course I told him no, it's out of the question. I can never, never do that again.
Brian: Is he hung?
Lindsay: Brian!
Brian: I'm just curious. You're the last person I ever thought I'd discuss dick with.
Lindsay: This isn't about dick!
Brian: Since when?
Lindsay: I love Melanie.
Brian: Sure you do.
[He puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder.]
Lindsay: How could I have -
Brian: f*cked a guy?
Lindsay: It's not possible!
Brian: It's possible. Explaining it is the tricky part.
Lindsay: But I've always been -
Brian: A carpet muncher.
Lindsay: Except for that one time in college when you and I -
[Brian looks away, pained; he'd rather not be reminded.]
Lindsay: But that was just -
Brian: Midsummer madness.
[They both laugh.]
Brian: Still, there is a part of you that, once every decade or so, doesn't object to a stiff prick. Believe me, I understand.
Lindsay: I'm not so sure Melanie would.
Brian: Then don't tell her.
Lindsay: You're a big help.
Brian: Hey. It's okay to like cock! And it's okay to like p*ssy, just not at the same time. So - which one do you like?
[He shows her the pics of Drew.]
[Hunter pays a visit to Mikey at the comic store.]
Michael: Well, look who it is! Come to sh**t the breeze? A little heart-to-heart? Spend some quality time with your dashing new dad?
Hunter: I need $20.
Michael: What do you want it for?
Hunter: My upwardly mobile lifestyle. Being a teenager is expensive.
Michael: You should have thought of that before you became one.
Hunter: So can I have it?
Michael: Why should I reward you for missing your curfew and being disrespectful to us?
Hunter: How the f*ck am I being disrespectful?
Michael: By not telling us the truth.
Hunter: I told you!
[Michael shows him the money.]
Michael: I'm not above paying for information. But first you've gotta come clean.
Hunter: I took a shower this morning.
Michael: Are you hustling?
Hunter: If I was hustling, would I be asking you for 20 bucks?
Michael: Good point. (He starts to give Hunter the money, then takes it back). But then again, maybe you're just trying to throw me off the track.
Hunter: For Christ sakes. I'm kind of dating someone, okay?
Michael: Really.
Hunter: Yeah, really. Is that so hard to imagine?
Michael: No, not at all! It's great - but why didn't you say so?
Hunter: You know how kids are at my age. We're trying to develop a sense of self, which often manifests itself in a reluctance to communicate with parents and other authority figures.
Michael: Here's $30. Go to the movies.
Hunter: Sweet!
[He grabs the money and leaves. The minute he's gone, Michael phones Ben.]
Michael: Ben? I hope you're sitting down. Guess what? Our boy has a boyfriend.
[Deb and Emmett at the Policemen's Ball. Deb is, um, resplendent in a red gown.]
Debbie: Are you sure I don't look like a f*re hydrant? I wouldn't want any dogs to make a mistake!
Emmett: You do not look like a f*re hydrant. You're positively glowing.
Debbie: Never mind glowing. Long as I'm not radioactive. (She catches site of Horvath, with a dowdy brunette dangling from his arm). Shit! There's Carl! What do I do?
Emmett: What do you mean, what do you do? Just stand there and glow!
[He fake laughs and pulls Deb over to engage her in fake animated conversation. Carl and the Other Woman approach.]
Debbie: (with hearty fake surprise) Oh, hi, Carl!
Carl: Debbie. Emmett. What are you doing here?
Debbie: Well, it's a ball to raise money for the cops, isn't it? I've always had a soft spot for men in uniform.
Emmett: And I've always had a hard spot!
[That earns him a sharp jab in the ribs from Debbie.]
Carl: Debbie, Emmett, this is Katherine, the person I told you about.
Katherine: Nice to meet you both. You're certainly just as colorful as Carl said you were.
Debbie: Thanks.
Katherine: If you excuse me for a moment?
[There's an awkward pause.]
Emmett: Can I bring you a drink?
Debbie: Yes.
[Emmett leaves.]
Carl: I - uh - I wasn't expecting to see you.
Debbie: I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable.
Carl: No, no! I like - I mean, it's nice - I don't know what the hell I'm tryin' to say.
Debbie: You look very handsome.
Carl: You look very -
Debbie: Red.
[They both laugh, which breaks the ice a little.]
Carl: I'm glad to see you're gettin' out, enjoying yourself.
Debbie: Well, life goes on. Got no choice but to go on with it. [she listening a song] That song. They played it last year.
Carl: Yeah, they play it every year. They oughta get some new material.
Debbie: We danced to it.
Carl: I know.
Debbie: You're very good on your feet. We could take a quick spin around the floor. As friends, of course!
[Just then Katherine returns. She takes Carl's arm with a proprietary air.]
Katherine: (to Horvath) Shall we go now?
Carl: Sure.
Katherine: Nice to meet you, Deb.
[Carl and Katherine walk away, arms around each other, leaving Deb standing there alone. Just Emmett comes back, carrying too many drinks. Deb looks forlorn.]
[It's Bike Night at Babylon. You heard right. Not d*ke Night, bike night. It's a fundraiser for the Liberty Ride. Ted and Justin are walking around with clipboards, soliciting donations.]
Ted: Sign up here for the Liberty Ride! If you can't ride, we gladly accept donations. How we doing?
Justin: 37 riders so far. And one guy offered me $1,000 if I'd show him my cock.
Ted: I hope you said yes!
[Justin has the check to prove it. Ben and Melanie are emceeing the event.]
Ben: Can we have your attention please, everyone?
Mel: Thank you so much for coming out tonight in support of Liberty Ride!
[Cheers from the crowd.]
Ben: The profits will be going to help keep the Liberty House hospice open, so let's try and raise as much money as we possibly can!
[More cheers from the crowd. But not from Brian, who's standing there drinking a bottle of beer, a cynical expression on his face.]
Mel: In order to do that, the Center has enlisted one of the top fundraisers in North America. A man who gave up a lucrative law practice in Toronto to make millions for various organizations with his walkathons, danceathons, marathons, triathlons - you name it, he's found a way to make money out of it.
Ben: We're fortunate to have his help and support, so let us introduce you to - Jeffrey Pendergrass!
[More cheers.]
Jeffrey: Thank you all very much. It's great to be here in Pittsburgh! I'm grateful to the Gay and Lesbian Center and all of its supporters for asking me to help make this the best and most profitable event ever. So I hope you all sign up, get on your bike and cross the finish line, but tonight, let's all have a good time!
[More applause from the crowd, a kiss from Mel and a handshake from Ben. Everybody loves Jeffrey Pendergrass - everybody except Brian, that is. Brian is leaning against the bar when Pendergrass comes up for a refill.]
Brian: Buy you a drink?
Jeffrey: It's an open bar. Party's on me.
Brian: Nothing is free.
Jeffrey: (offering his hand) Jeffrey Pendergrass.
Brian: Brian Kinney.
[They shake.]
Brian: Just an observation, Jeffrey, but wouldn't the money that you're spending here tonight saying "hello, Pittsburgh hello!" be better spent keeping the hospice open?
Jeffrey: Actually, Brian, I find when the drinks flow freely, so do the donations.
Mel: This guy bothering you, Jeffrey?
Jeffrey: No, not at all. Just revealing some of my underhanded business practices. Well, I better go work the room. Hope we can count on your pledge, Brian.
[He shakes Brian's hand again.]
Mel: What the hell was that all about?
Brian: You know me, Mel, always stirring up the shit.
[Hunter and somebody making out in an SUV. It's a girl! We later learn that her name is Callie.]
Callie: You want me to suck you?
Hunter: Uh... no. That's okay.
Callie: Has everybody ever sucked you before?
Hunter: Yeah.
Callie: A lot of girls?
Hunter: No.
Callie: I've only done it twice. Once at summer camp and once with my lunch boyfriend. You don't think that makes me a slut, do you?
Hunter: Hardly!
Callie: Besides, it's not real sex. Ever had real sex yet?
Hunter: Not really. But I think about it.
Callie: Me too. But I promised to discuss it with my parents first. We're like best friends. How about yours?
Hunter: I don't think I'll tell them.
Callie: How come?
Hunter: They're not like your folks.
Callie: In what way?
Hunter: They're two guys.
Callie: You mean they're gay? That's so cool!
Hunter: I don't know how cool they'd be if I told them about you and me.
Callie: Well, they don't expect you to be gay just because they are?
Hunter: I don't know!
Callie: Well, I'll be glad to tell them you're straight if it ever comes up.
[They go back to making out.]
[Lindsay is sitting in bed in her jammies, drinking tea and trying to read a book. Melanie returns from the Babylon fundraiser.]
Mel: Hey.
Lindsay: How did go?
Mel: Oh great. Jeffrey Pendergrass will help us raise shit out of money.
Lindsay: That's good.
Mel: Sad that you weren't there.
Lindsay: Me too, but I had a steam headache.
Mel: Any better?
Lindsay: A little.
Mel: I blame Sam for it.
Lindsay: What?
Mel: Well, the show, living to his expectations as well as yours. But you did it.
[Mel tries a massage on her shoulders.]
Lindsay: That feels nice.
[Mel goes up to her breast.]
Lindsay: Mel. Mind if we do it later?
Mel: Sorry. I'm just the ordernary pregnant demon. I look it on Gus. You want me to get you hot tea? This one is cold.
[She stands up and leaves. Back sits a concerned Lindsay.]
[Deb and Emmett in the diner.]
Debbie: I kept my tits up, just like you said. I practically threw 'em at him! It didn't do much good.
Emmett: Don't despair! You'll just have to think up another way to get his attention, that's all.
Debbie: Well, we better think fast, because that woman's got 'marriage' in her eyes!
[Ted comes in waving a ticket.]
Ted: I've got an extra ticket for the Ironmen's game on Sunday! Who wants to go?
[d*ad silence in the diner.]
Ted: I've got an extra ticket for "42nd Street." Who wants to go?
[There's a chorus of "Me! Me! Me!"]
Ted: Just testing. How about you, Em? Skybox! A thank you gift from the star quarterback himself!
Emmett: I don't think so.
Ted: C'mon, you're the one who turned me onto him in the first place. Ever seen him play?
Emmett: Not on the field.
Ted: He's fast and he's strong.
Emmett: Much as I'd like to go, I promised I wouldn't.
Ted: Promised who?
Emmett: But then again, how many seats does that stadium hold?
Ted: I don't know, 80,000?
Emmett: 80,000? Wow. Hardly pick out a face in that crowd, huh?
[He takes the ticket.]
Debbie: Say, Teddy, I was just wondering. Do you think you could score an extra pair of those tickets for me?
Ted: I could try!
Debbie: I have a friend who might like to go.
[Jeffrey Pendergrass pays an unannounced visit to Brian at Kinnetik.]
Brian: What?
Cynthia: [via phone] "Mr.Pendergrass wants to see you. He says he doesn't have an appointment."
Brian: He wants to h*t on me.
Cynthia: [via phone] "Who doesn't?"
Brian: Except you wants money. Send him in.
Cynthia: [via phone] "OK."
Jeffrey: They tell me you're the guy to get into bed with.
Brian: Well, you'll have to come back after office hours for that.
Jeffrey: I know you're a busy man, so let me cut to the chase.
Brian: Christ, I hate that expression.
Jeffrey: I understand you're one of the most successful gay businessmen in Pittsburgh.
Brian: Whoever told you that was d*ad wrong. I'm THE most successful gay businessman.
Jeffrey: All the more reason then. I'd like your clients to be corporate sponsors for the Liberty Ride.
Brian: I see. Let ME cut to the chase. What's in it for them? More important, what's in it for me?
Jeffrey: Two very good questions.
[He pulls up a chair and makes himself at home.]
Jeffrey: First, your clients' contributions will generate publicity and good will that advertising can't buy, plus they'll be cultivating product loyalty in a market that has hundreds of billions of disposable income.
Brian: I already know that. My second question: What's in the cr*cker Jack box for me?
Jeffrey: A very personal thank you from me and a warm, gooey feeling inside.
Brian: (laughs) Oh, Jeffrey, you disappoint me! I thought you'd come up with something more original than that. So - do we have time for one last question? What's in it for you?
Jeffrey: A living.
Brian: Finally, an honest answer. How refreshing.
Jeffrey: Anything wrong with that?
Brian: Not at all. I'm all in favor of people making money. What I'm not in favor of is telling others how to spend it.
Jeffrey: It's for a worthy cause. Besides, they can afford it.
Brian: Very true. But that's not a reason why they should give it to you.
Jeffrey: Well, how about this, then? It wouldn't be very good for your clients' PR if they were perceived to be h*m*. And it wouldn't help your reputation much if word got out that you were insensitive to the neediest members of your community.
Brian: Why, Jeffrey, are you turning the screws on me?
Jeffrey: Of course not. I'm merely pointing out why it's so important that we all open our hearts and checkbooks and give as generously as we can.
[So as we cut to the skybox at the Ironmen game. We see that Drew (No. 7) scores a touchdown that ties the game. Deb and Horvath get so swept away in the moment that they let their guard down and kiss. They pull apart, a little embarrassed.]
Debbie: Some play, huh?
Carl: I'll say! I can't believe you got these tickets for the Skybox.
Debbie: I'm glad you're having a good time.
Carl: To tell you the truth, I'm not.
Debbie: (alarmed) You're not?
Carl: I'm havin' a GREAT time!
Debbie: I hope Katherine doesn't mind.
Carl: That I went to the game with a friend?
Emmett: Can you believe this is the first time in my life I ever went to a football game?
Ted: Easily.
Emmett: I had no idea it was so exciting! I feel like we're back in ancient Rome, y'know, sitting in the Coliseum, watching the gladiators, wearing those fabulous off- the-shoulder togas -
Ted: Somehow I picture us more as lion chow, but I'm glad you're enjoying it. You haven't taken your eyes off of Drew Boyd since we sat down.
Emmett: That's just because he's such a dynamic, powerful player.
Ted: Admit it, you're in love with him.
Emmett: (indignantly, like a 12 year old girl whose best friend accuses her of having a crush) I'm not!
Ted: After seeing him in his underwear, I have to confess: so am I.
[Emmett see's that Sierra comes in the Skybox. He tries to escape unrecognized.]
Emmett: Oh my god.
Ted: What? What's the matter?
Emmett: Nothing. C'mon, let's go.
Ted: No, there is 30 seconds on the clock with tied score.
Sierra: Emmett! Hey you!
Emmett: Oh hi, Sierra!
Sierra: What are you doin' here? I didn't think that Football isn't your thing.
Emmett: I'm here with my friend Ted. He is the one who did pictures for the underware ads.
Sierra: Oh, so you're the one who's responsibly for the women Drew wants.
Ted: Not to mention about the certain percent of the males population.
Sierra: [to Ted] I'm Sierra, Drew's fiancee.
Ted: Oh congratulations. He's quite a guy.
Sierra: Guess it seems I landed on the big one.
Emmett: You certainly did. But it's nice to see you again.
Sierra: Where you goin'? Drew were so disappointed if you didn't stop by the locker room to say hello.
Emmett: I'd love to, but we are here with friends.
Sierra: They can go with us.
Carl: I can go see the team?!
[On the field Drew scores another TD. The Ironmen wins with 1 TD.]
Sierra: OK, everyone follow me.
[Cut to Michael and Ben.]
Ben: Why wouldn't he just come out and say that he has a boyfriend?
Michael: You know how kids his age are. He's trying to develop a sense of self, which often includes not communicating with parents.
Ben: We're not other parents. We're hip. We're coool!
[He puts on a beanie, crosses his arms, does the punk rock symbol and sticks out his tongue. Very cute. Just at that moment, Hunter comes home.]
Hunter: You think so.
Ben: Hey, pal!
Michael: I ordered our favorite, Mighty Man Meat! Sausage, pepperoni, meatball, ham and bacon!
Ben: Ouch!
Michael: Not to worry. Mushroom and tofu for you.
Ben: So, dude, what's new?
Hunter: Nothin', dude.
Ben: That's not what I hear. I hear you got a friend. Michael and I want you to know that we think it's great. I wish I had a boyfriend when I was your age.
Michael: All those missed blowjobs!
[Hunter looks very uncomfortable and we know why.]
Ben: So what is he like? Is he smart? Bookish? Muscular? Athletic?
Hunter: All of the above.
Ben: Have you two had sex yet?
Hunter: No!
Ben: It's OK - we're all gay men here. Because if you do, it's important to protect him as well as yourself, especially considering your HIV status, you have a responsibility -
Hunter: Don't worry! I'll be careful.
Michael: So? When do we get to meet him?
Hunter: I dunno.
Michael: We're very open-minded. It doesn't matter if he has tattoos, body-piercings - he doesn't, does he?
Hunter: Look - I don't have a boyfriend, OK?
Michael: What do you mean? You told me -
Hunter: I told you I had a friend. I didn't say it was a boy.
Ben: Well, if it's not a boy, it's a -
[Some things are too awful to contemplate. He can't actually get the word out.]
[Post-game. The cameras are flashing. Drew comes from the lockerroom.]
Sierra: Hey, hon. [they kiss] Drew, this is Carl and Debbie. And you remember Ted.
Carl: It's a real thrill, Mr.Boyd.
Drew: Call me Drew.
Carl: Drew.
Ted: You were amazing, Drew.
Drew: Thank you.
Debbie: I say'll and cute to. So, when's the wedding?
Sierra and Drew: June.
[Emmett stands a little besides them and doesn't look happy.]
Sierra: Sweetheart, look who's here. Emmett Honeycutt, remember? He planed our engagement.
Drew: Yeah, sure. If you'll excuse me. I'll take my honey home and chill out.
[Brian pays Jeff a visit in his posh hotel suite. Jeffrey is wearing a fancy monogrammed bathrobe.]
Jeffrey: Champaign?
Brian: No, thanks. It makes me puke. I'm serious. I can knock back a dozen tequilas, no problemo. But one glass of that stuff and it's "Ou est la toilette?"
Jeffrey: That's too bad. Champagne is really very -
Brian: Expensive. What is it, $220 a pop?
Jeffrey: Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and, um -
Brian: Please. Be my guest.
[While Jeffrey is in the other room getting dressed, Brian catches sight of a slew of gift bags lined up on the table.]
Brian: Something tells me I'm in the wrong business!
Jeffrey: (from the other room) Why's that?
Brian: The suite, the champagne. Seems like charity work's where the big bucks are these days.
Jeffrey: Like I said, it's a living.
Brian: Yeah, a very good living.
[Jeffrey comes back into the room, dressed in gray shirt and slacks.]
Jeffrey: So. I assume you've given our conversation some thought.
Brian: Yeah, I've thought about it. But before I get into bed with someone, I like to do a little research. You just can't be too careful these days.
Jeffrey: Isn't that the truth. So what'd you find out?
Brian: That you're a hell of a fundraiser.
Jeffrey: (laughs) I'm sorry you wasted the legwork there. I could've told you that.
Brian: (picking up a cr*cker with caviar) Do you mind?
Jeffrey: Be my guest
Brian: It seems that the organizations don't see much in the end, what with fancy hotels, champagne, caviar, lavish kickoff parties which by the way, the charities pay for, not you.
Jeffrey: For how hard I work and for that amount I bring in, I deserve a nice lifestyle. Besides, everyone profits. Tax writeoffs, good will, publicity. What's the problem, as long as everything's on the up and up?
Brian: What about Denver?
Jeffrey: What about Denver?
Brian: Well, didn't some local AIDS organization sue you for swindling them out of money that you spent on yourself?
Jeffrey: Those were totally legitimate business expenses. Office, travel -
Brian: (Proffering the cr*cker) More caviar?
Jeffrey: No thanks, I - what are you saying, Brian?
Brian: Just that when some earnest do-gooder blows into town and starts thr*at me unless I help them, I have a legitimate reason to ask a few questions. And get a few answers.
Jeffrey: Those accusations were totally untrue and unsubstantiated. And what they didn't tell you is that they still made a quarter of a million even after my share.
Brian: Imagine what they would've made before it. So we'll just make sure that every cent you raise here in provincial little Pittsburgh goes exactly where it's supposed to go.
[Mel and Lindsay's house. Someone rings on the door.]
Mel: Got it! [to Gus] Look who's here. It's Sam. C'mon in.
Sam: Thanks. Is Lindsay home?
Mel: Yeah. LINDS! SAM'S HERE! Congratulations to the show. I've heard it was a snap.
Sam: Oh, they always are. But this one I think it was Lindsay. [Lindsay came from above] I'm up to Milan.
Lindsay: That's be a step up from Pittsburgh. But I doubt you find a decent bagles either.
Sam: I just want come and say goodbye.
Lindsay: Why we don't walk to your car? I'll be right back.
[In front of the door.]
Sam: I couldn't leave without -
Lindsay: Yes, you could and you should. Right now!
Sam: Without even saying goodbye?
Lindsay: I'm sure there must be dozens of women you f*cked without saying goodbye.
Sam: That wasn't just a f*ck. It meant more than that -
Lindsay: Would you just stop? Please.
Sam: I want you to come with me.
Lindsay: What? Are you crazy?
Sam: Damn proud of it, too. Look. I've had more ex-wives and mistresses than Sears has tire centers.
Lindsay: I'm sure they'd be pleased to hear themselves compared to a steel-belted radial!
Sam: If you'd met 'em, you'd realize I was complimenting them. But I've never felt like this. Look. Just sleep on it. I can send you a ticket.
Lindsay: I have a family, Sam. Right there. On the other side of that door.
Sam: That's not all you are. There's so much more to you than that. Why don't you let me show you?
Lindsay: No! This IS who I am. And even if a part - a very tiny part of me - wanted something else, I'd still choose to stay here. Now I want you to go.
[He kisses her on the cheek and leaves.]
[Horvath brings Deb a quirky gift to thank her for taking him to the football game.]
Carl: I brought you this Persion melon from Chile.
Debbie: Well, that's very strange, Carl, but sweet.
Carl: We were investigating a m*rder near the fruit and vegetable market so I -
Debbie: Don't tell me those k*ller tomatoes are at it again!
Carl: I just wanted to give you something, as a thank you for taking me to the game.
Drebbie: My pleasure.
Carl: And for meeting Drew Boyd. Wow, I still can't get over that.
Debbie: Yeah, he's really something.
Carl: So are you. For being such a good friend, I mean.
Debbie: I'll always be your friend. Could I offer you a friendly slice of melon?
Carl: No, thanks. I gotta be going.
Debbie: Maybe we could do something else friendly sometime.
Carl: Yeah, I'd like that.
Debbie: Like bowling or fishing -
Carl: Or this.
[He kisses her.]
Debbie: Was that a friendly kiss?
Carl: Yeah, I guess you could say that.
Debbie: In that case, it could be a little friendlier.
[They kiss again, this time like they really mean it.]
[Cut to the Motel, where Emmett is lying naked in bed, waiting for his man. He holds a condom in his hand. Cut later in the night, someone goes in front of the door, but it's not Drew. Cut later, Emmett lies alone in bed and drinks beer. But Drew never shows.]
[Lying in bed, Michael and Ben have a conversation that many other parents of teenagers have had before them - with a slight variation on the theme.]
Michael: Do you think maybe it's just a phase? Maybe he hasn't met the right boy.
Ben: Substitute right girl and that's just what my parents said when I told them I was gay.
Michael: What about all the men? He's had sex with more guys than you and I put together.
Ben: His mother got him started on that and it was always for money, not love.
Michael: So you think it's really true?
Ben: Sounds like he's discovered who he really is. And he's not gonna change anymore than you and I could change who we are.
Michael: But what are we gonna do? I mean, talking about girls - women - I wouldn't know the first thing. I've never even slept with one.
Ben: I have, once or twice.
Michael: Really?
Ben: Mm-hm.
Michael: How was it?
Ben: 'Salright. Got a hard on and everything. Suppose I performed adequately at least no one complained, but I also remember thinking, why are guys so obsessed with this? What's the big deal?
Michael: I guess that was the first clue.
Ben: I also liked to wear my mom's dresses.
[Michael looks at him.]
Ben: Just kidding.
Michael: So we're both pretty useless when it comes to guy stuff.
Ben: Someone else will have to show him where the "g" spot is. I never could find it.
Michael: He could ask Mel and Lindz. I'm sure they know where it is. Ben, do you think he'd be better off with straight parents?
Ben: What?
Michael: People who'll understand him?
Ben: We understand him. He's still Hunter, gay or straight. It doesn't make a difference.
Michael: It may not make a difference to us, but what about him?
[At Woody's, naturally the football game is on. Emmett and Ted are there.]
Ted: You see Drew? Christ, what a man. He can do anything. Run, throw, block.
Emmett: Or gain like a piston. Or even f*ck me. And he did me ever, in all possible way.
Ted: What are you drinkin'?
Emmett: Nothing, unfortunately. You want to know, Drew and I have been an affair.
Ted: [looks serious to Emmett and then he laughs] No! No, you don't. No, no, no, you said you can gave me back that time when I said I meet Greg Logano this time in Barbardos under water. You believe me, but... no.
Emmett: I'm serious.
[Ted looks at Emmett again. He isn't laughing and he stops.]
Ted: C'mon, you expect me to believe... But th...tha...that's impossible! He's straight.
Emmett: Tell my ass that! We're meeting three times a week in some motel. I swore to him I never tell. But now it's over. And the worst part of this is, I was falling in love with this son-of-a-bitch.
[Brian and Justin donate Brian's Barcelona chair to the AIDS hospice.]
Justin: [to Brian] Your Barcelona chair would great in the living room.
Brian: Thanks for reminding me.
Justin: I got Brian to donate this $2,000 Barcelona chair.
Brian: Withholding sex has worked for centuries.
Director: Thanks, but before we can redecorating we gonna need a rufo for our heads. You know the guy who's organizing the Liberty Ride?
Justin: Jeffrey Pendergrass?
Director: He was supposed to be at a meeting last night at the Center. When he didn't show up, they called his hotel. He'd checked out.
Justin: Checked out?
Director: It seems he resigned.
Brian: What about the donations?
Direktor: He sent a letter saying that they almost, but not quite, covered his expenses.
Justin: Oh, shit!
Director: The one thing we have, even when he didn't have funds were hope. And now, we don't even have that.
[Brian's looking in the living room and sees the poor people in their last months.]
[Mel runs into Lindz.]
Lindsay: Where were you up to?
Mel: Lamaze.
Lindsay: Why didn't you say something? I'll be there in a minute.
Mel: No, no need. Michael's meeting me there.
Lindsay: Michael?
Mel: He's a very good coach.
Lindsay: I'm sure but what about me?
Mel: I figured you had business in the gallery.
Lindsay: Sam's gone.
Mel: But not forgotten. I watched you two from the window. That was a very touching goodbye scene.
Lindsay: He's my friend. My mentor.
Mel: He's awakened things in you. Your desire to paint, to express yourself. Anything else?
[Long silence. Lindsay's guilty face says it all.]
Mel: You don't have to tell me. I know. You don't live with someone for nine years and not know.
Lindsay: Mel -
Mel: I don't wanna hear any of your bullshit explanations.
Lindsay: I wasn't gonna offer any. What's important is it reconfirmed for me that this is who I am. That my life is with you and Gus and the baby. That I still choose you.
Mel: Well, that's very convincing testimony. But I'm not so sure that I still choose you.
[She leaves the room. A shocked Lindsay starres there. Fade to black.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x11 - Gay or Straight? That's the Question"} | foreverdreaming |
[It's parent-teacher conference night. Ben and Michael are meeting with one of Hunter's teachers.]
Ms. C: Hunter's shown remarkable progress.
Ben: That's good to hear.
Ms. C: Yes, he's extremely bright.
Michael: (looking at Ben) That runs in the family.
Ms. C: However, he's not the most disciplined student. And he has a tendency to be a bit of a -
Ben: Smartass?
[Ms. Crowe smiles indulgently.]
Ben: That runs in the family, too.
Ms. C: But you're to be commended for doing an excellent job.
[She hands them a print-out that must be Hunter's report card/grades.]
Ben: Oh! Thank you, Ms. Crowe.
Michael: Thank you.
[As they walk out]
Michael: [to Ben] That's the first time a teacher has ever given me an excellent!
[In the hallway, Ben and Michael are approached by a couple who introduce themselves as Callie's parents, Steve Leeson and Amber Morgan-Leeson.]
Amber: Excuse us. Are you Hunter's parents?
Ben: Yes, we are.
Steve: We're Callie's folks.
Ben: Uh, Callie...?
Steve: Our kids seeing sometimes.
Ben: Yes, of course. Callie.
Steve: Steve Leeson
Amber: Amber Morgan-Leeson.
Ben: Ben Bruckner.
Michael: Michael Novotny-Bruckner.
Amber: Hunter always speaks of you both with such admiration.
Michael: He does?
Steve: Well, you know how kids are. They'll never tell you to your face.
Amber: Callie's like a schoolgirl every time she mentions his name.
Steve: She is a schoolgirl.
[They all laugh.]
Amber: You should be very proud. He's a very nice young man.
Ben: I think he'd prefer "cool dude."
Steve: Listen, we would love to get together with you guys.
Michael: That'd be great!
Amber: I'll be in touch. We'll plan an evening.
Ben: Terrific.
Michael: Nice to meet you.
Amber: Nice to meet you to.
Ben: Bye-bye.
[Brian, lying on the examining table in one of those horrible paper gowns. The doctor is examining his balls.]
Doc: How does that feel?
Brian: It'd be a lot better with poppers.
Doc: Try to describe the sensation.
Brian: It feels as if someone is rotating my artificial ball.
[Doctor peels off the plastic gloves.]
Doc: Please, get up and go on the scale. You've put on some weight.
Brian: I realize to you that's a good thing. To me, it's a disaster.
Doc: You can get dressed now.
Brian: So, what's the verdict?
Doc: You still experiencing fatigue?
Brian: Not as much.
Doc: How's your sex drive?
Brian: With both hands on the wheel.
Doc: Of course, we can't be certain, even within a month or a year that the cancer won't reoccur, but the sonogram and the blood test show no signs of spreading.
Brian: How long before I can resume a normal life, doing recreational drugs and consuming vast amounts of alcohol? Going to the gym?
Doc: I don't have any problem with some light stretching and mild cardio.
Brian: Doc, I'm a f*g. I don't go to the gym to be healthy, I go there to look good. Light stretching and mild cardio aren't gonna cut it.
Doc: Brian, you've had cancer. Your body's been through a series of radiation treatments. I suggest you take it easy, give yourself time to recover. After all, you're not 21 anymore.
[The Gay and Lesbian Center.]
Mel: It's a f*cking catastrophe. What the hell happened to Jeffrey Pendergrass?
Women: He felt he didn't have the support of certain influential members of the community and that without their backing, he couldn't successfully meet the goal.
Ben: So he took off with practically every cent we managed to raise!
Mel: Bastard!
Women: We agreed to pay all his expenses.
Ben: Including hotel suite, champagne... kickoff party at Babylon?
Women: Which we barely managed to cover, according to him.
Ben: I guess Brian had his number all along.
Mel: OK, so what do we do now?
Women: There's only one thing we can do. Cancel the Liberty Ride and refund everyone's money.
Mel: How can you refund it if you haven't got it?
Ben: How much are we in the hole?
Women: Almost $25,000.
Mel: Congratulations, everyone, on being the first charity ride to pedal backwards.
Ben: Look, Liberty House is depending on us. Without this ride, they'll be forced to close their doors.
Mel: We have no choice but to go ahead with it.
Ben: And hope that we find more pledges and sponsors.
[Ted and Em strolling down snowy "Liberty Avenue."]
Emmett: It's awfully sweet of you, Teddy, to take me to lunch.
Ted: I figured you could use some cheering up.
Emmett: Have to admit, it hasn't been easy. Still, how many times in life do you get to live out a fantasy? To have a secret affair with a famous football star? To have him ride your back end three times a week with his rock-hard ten inch battering ram until your screams of ecstasy fill an entire stadium?
[Ted looks slightly ill.]
Emmett: To lie there spent, exhausted, insensate - and that's only half-time!
Ted: Not often. So, what're you in the mood for?
Emmett: I could do with a Chinese chicken salad. And without any more talk of Drew Boyd.
[They come up to a huge DB billboard.]
Ted: In that case, you may want to avoid major thoroughfares.
[A bus rolls by, with a Drew Boyd poster on the side.]
Ted: All forms of public transportation, better shops and department stores. I'd also stay away from publications such as newspapers and magazines for, oh, a year or so. And don't look up.
[Naturally, they both look up. There's another ginormous DB billboard.]
Emmett: (moans/groans) Gouge my eyes out now!
[While you're at it, an old lady passing by presses a coin into his outstretched palm]
Oldy: Poor thing!
[Emmett pockets the coin.]
[It's a kids' birthday party, probably one of Dusty's kids.]
Woman: You look absolutely radiant, Mel.
Dusty: This must be the happiest time of your life!
Mel: Must be!
[Lindsay comes in]
Lindsay: Hi everyone! (She kisses Mel on the cheek) Sorry I'm late.
Mel: Last minute Auerbach's sale?
Dusty: You want some fruit punch? I've also got ginger ale and vanilla soy drink.
Lindsay: I wish they'd lower the drinking age to five. I could sure use a scotch.
Woman#2: Congratulation on the show about the gallery.
Woman: Hey, it's been all over the papers.
Dusty: It must've been a real thrill working with a famous artist like Sam Auerbach.
Mel: You can't imagine how attentive she was. Attending to his every need!
[She and Lindz exchange frozen looks. Later, they have a moment alone in the kitchen.]
Lindsay: Was that remark really necessary?
Mel: What remark?
Lindsay: You know what remark. About my attending to his every need.
Mel: It's true, isn't it? In fact, I'm surprised you even bothered to come.
Lindsay: Why wouldn't I?
Mel: Not a man in sight. Just us d*ke!
Lindsay: Look, I told you how sorry I am, that it was a mistake!
Mel: Actually, you said it was a good thing!
Lindsay: I never said it was a good thing.
Mel: That it gave you a chance to contrast and compare and come to the conclusion that given the choices, you still prefer me!
Lindsay: That part is true.
Mel: Well, it isn't true for me. I know which team I play on. It's not a choice or a preference. It's who I am! It's who I've always been. A rug muncher, a muff-diver, a c**t-lapper, a bull, a l*zzie, a d*ke!
Lindsay: What do you think I am?
Mel: Don't ask me to make up your mind for you. You have to do that all by yourself.
Lindsay: I'm a lesbian.
Mel: Not if you're having sex with a man, honey!
[Lindsay looks down in shame.]
Mel: And I'm pregnant yet! I don't know which betrayal to never forgive you for first.
[Just then Dusty walks in.]
Dusty: Bad timing?
Lindsay: No. We were just having a discussion.
Dusty: You don't have to explain it to me. I've had three. There's nothing like a good pregnancy to turn you into a raving bitch!
[Michael, Ben, Brian, Justin and Ted are walking down Liberty Avenue. Everybody's carrying a gym bag except for poor doddering Brian.]
Michael: They said Pendergrass leaves the town high and dry?
Ben: Yeah, sort of it.
Ted: The short of it was cash.
Michael: I wonder what happened?
Brian: What do you looking me for?
Ben: It doesn't matter. We're still gonna train, we're still gonna ride.
Michael: You coming to the gym with us?
Justin: Brian's doctor cautioned him to take it easy.
Ted: Meaning what? Get laid three times a week instead of four?
Justin: More like seven instead of nine.
Ben: Some recuperation.
Michael: Too bad you can't go with us.
Ted: Even if he was in peak condition, I doubt Brian would be donating his backside for charity.
Ben: It's not just a charity. We all know someone or have heard of someone who spent his last days at Liberty House. Someday it might be one of us.
Michael: Not as long as I'm around.
Ben: Well, the point is, we all deserve to die with dignity and a friend by our side. I'm sure even Brian would agree with that.
[They all turn into the gym, leaving Brian standing there on the sidewalk.]
[Deb's peering out her front window from behind the curtains.]
Emmett: What's up?
Debbie: This big, black SUV's been circling the block. It keeps stopping in front of the house. Christ, now it's parking!
Emmett: Sooo?
Debbie: Well, I don't like it! Don't like it at all! You don't suppose Vic had a secret life, do ya? Like maybe he worked for the CIA or the Mafia or some foreign government and now that he's gone, they decided to rub us out.
Emmett: (clearly thinks she's nuts but pretends to give it serious thought) No.
Debbie: Well, I have to go to work and I'm afraid to go out there.
Emmett: You use the back way. I'll distract 'em.
Debbie: (whispering) Good idea! I'm telling Carl about this, just in case.
[Emmett smiles, puts on his shades and heads out to confront the menace. He becomes slightly unnerved when the black menace begins tailing him. He stops walking and the SUV stops, too. He doesn't turn around, just starts walking again. The SUV starts up again, very slowly. Emmett turns around and walks up to the dread vehicle. He raps on the driver's window (it's black; you can't see inside).]
Emmett: If you're planning to accost me, you should know they don't call us screaming f*g for nothing. And if you're hoping to score, you're going about it all wrong.
[Slowly the window rolls down. It's Drew.]
Drew: Get in.
Emmett: I don't accept rides from strangers. (He starts walking). Particularly those who don't show up. Or at least call!
Drew: Get in!
[Emmett gets in.]
Emmett: Nice oil t*nk. So what brings you to Queersville?
Drew: My game's been shit.
Emmett: Talk to your coach.
Drew: I can't sleep.
Emmett: Take a Xanax.
Drew: I'm drinking too much.
Emmett: Buy more beer nuts!
Drew: I miss you.
Emmett: You do?
[Drew nods.]
Drew: Can we go to the motel?
Emmett: Yeah. Ah - no! No, I can't go back there.
Drew: I thought you loved when I f*ck you.
Emmett: I do love when you f*ck me. This isn't the Atkins diet. Man can't live on meat alone. At least this man can't.
Drew: Alright, we'll go out.
Emmett: You mean it?
[Drew leans in for a kiss.]
Emmett: What if somebody sees us?
Drew: They can't. (He raps on the window). Remember?
[Hunter and Callie are kissing, too.]
Callie: The first thing I've noticed about you was your nose and your eyes.
Hunter: Yeah?
Callie: Yeah. What was the first thing you've noticed about me?
Hunter: You noticed.
Callie: Liar...
[They making up. Hunter touched Callie's breast.]
Hunter: These.
Callie: You have a really cute ass. Do you have a condom? A condom?
Hunter: I know what this is.
Callie: If you don't have appropriate for your member.
Hunter: You really want to?
Callie: Well, don't you?
Hunter: Sure. It's just that - before we do, there's something you should know. I'm positive.
Callie: Positive? You mean -
Hunter: I have HIV.
Callie: Shit! Are you alright?
Hunter: I'm not sick or anything. It's just - there. Inside me.
Callie: How did you get it? Was it a transfusion? Or from doing drugs? (He hesitates). It's OK. You don't have to tell me. Does anyone else at school know?
Hunter: No.
Callie: I promise I won't tell anyone. I'm sorry.
Hunter: Yeah. I guess I better go.
Callie: Wait. My parents won't be home for a couple of hours.
Hunter: But I thought -
Callie: We have these (picks up condom). Don't we? As long as we use one, then it's safe, right?
[Ted meets Emmett in the diner. Emmett see's a Drew Boyd ad.]
Ted: Don't you agree to avoid any stores AND publication.
Emmett: I know...
Ted: Be strong then. Siting here, piening away with icecream is the only solution you need to shift your focus.
Emmett: You're right.
[He takes another magazine and open it. And - of course another Drew Boys ad.]
Ted: God, you must be go to a meeting tonight.
Emmett: Well, I can't. Drew's take me out. A big date.
Ted: But I thoughed you were broke up.
Emmett: He missed me. Isn't this amazing? This man who only days ago were deep in a leather suit has decided to go out, because of... because of me.
[Ted smiles but looks sad.]
Emmett: I got a manicure and who knows? After the meeting at Mo, we might just end up in Babylon.
[Mel's sitting at the a booth reading law books. Deb comes over to be nosy.]
Debbie: You plannin' on havin' that baby here? You've been sitting there since breakfast. Here's lunch!
Mel: I didn't order this.
Debbie: I know! I'm just practicing being a loving, attentive grandmother.
Mel: Thanks, Deb.
Debbie: Now I'm gonna practice being a nosy, meddlesome grandma. Is something wrong, honey?
Mel: No, it's nothing.
Debbie: Not with a punim like that.
Mel: How do you know that word?
Debbie: You live long enough, everybody's Jewish! (She grabs Mel's hand). Nothing's wrong with that baby?
Mel: The baby's OK. I'm OK. Nothing to do with that.
[Deb gives her an inquiring look.]
Mel: It's Lindsay and me. We're in trouble, Deb. Real trouble -
Debbie: Stop right there. I don't wanna know. 'Cause whatever it is, doesn't matter. What matters is, you're about to have a baby. And that's all that counts. So it's up to you to make things work. So you just chew on that chicken salad while I grab you a piece of Key lime.
[The director explaining to Remsen in his droning voice.]
Director: Like I said, Mr.Remsen, something, we're modest facility and its residents are those for whom medications like Endovir have proven ineffective. Or something is too late.
Remsen: You're doing a hell of a job here. I'm sure it's not easy.
Director: The hardest part is not being able to do more. We've already had to send a couple of our sickest clients to the County Hospital, simply because we no longer have the staff or capability of tending to their needs.
Remsen: It's a shame.
Director: It's money. State funding has been reduced. Private donations have all but dried up due to the misconception that no one dies of AIDS anymore.
Remsen: Well, I hope you manage to find the necessary funds.
Director: It may be too late for that. Like our clients, we're running out of time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to work. There are only two of us.
[Out on the street, Remsen turns to Brian.]
Remsen: I suppose you're going to h*t me up now. And after what I've just seen, it's gonna be very hard to say no.
Brian: It's a worthy cause.
Remsen: They're all worthy causes.
Brian: All I'm asking is for you to sponsor one rider on the Liberty Ride.
Remsen: That's it?
Brian: That's it.
Remsen: Well, I suppose we can handle that. How much do you want?
Brian: $100,000.
Remsen: !
Brian: It's no more than you spend for an ad in a magazine, and think of the good will you'll be generating. It's more than any campaign that I can come up with. As for the rider you'll be sponsoring, he's an amazing athlete and a renowned humanitarian.
[Hunter and Mikey at the comic store. He's wearing white gloves.]
Hunter: What the f*ck are you doin'? Brain surgery?
Michael: Far more delicated. This is a very rare comic from the 50s. Because the assets from your fingers touch the paper.
[He put the comic into a cover.]
Michael: There, the operation was a success. Michael Novotny, Dr. of Comicolligy trains again.
Hunter: Freak.
[His phone rings.]
Michael: Can you get that? And tell, whoever it is that the doctor is in.
Hunter: [pick up the phone] Hello? Uh, sure, hold on. [to Michael] It's Mr.Leeson. Callie's dad!
Michael: [to the phone] Steve? Hi. It was nice meeting you and Amber the other night. And I really looking forward to meeting together. Tonight? I'm check it with Ben, but I'm sure it'll be okay. Where would you like to meet? That'll be fine. How about 8 o'clock? See you then.
[he hangs up. Hunter look at him questionally.]
Hunter: What was that about?
Michael: We're better go home and dust. You're in be are coming over.
[And now for something completely different: Brian and Justin in the throes of mind-bl*wing orgasms.]
Brian: Of all the times we've f*cked, and by now I'd say that we were well into the quadruple digits, that has to rank in the top five.
Justin: That'll be $1,000, please.
Brian: That's quite an increase from the two bits you were charging when we met.
Justin: To experience perfection is a privilege regardless of price. Besides, I need you to sponsor me for the Liberty Ride.
Brian: I'm sorry, Sunshine. I'm already sponsoring someone else. Me!
Justin: What?
Brian: I'm doing the ride.
Justin: You can't do the ride. You've barely recovered. The doctor told you to take it easy. And at your age -
Brian: At my age, I can make up my own mind.
Justin: You hate bicycling, you despise camping out, you detest any and all forms of charity, you loathe the Gay and Lesbian Center and everyone associated with it, so give me one, just one, good reason why.
Brian: I want to.
Justin: Well, you can't. You haven't trained. You're not in shape. There's no way you'd make it out of Toronto, much less the 322 miles back to Pittsburgh.
Brian: Your prophecies of doom only incite me more.
Justin: I'm just being realistic.
Brian: Well, we dreamers have no time for that. When's the next spin class?
Justin: Tomorrow.
Brian: With a little practice, I'll fly like the wind!
[Mel and Lindsay are at dinner.]
Mel: This salmon is delicious.
Lindsay: Thanks. I tried to cook it the way you like it, almost rare. Would you like some more?
Mel: No, thanks.
[She gets up to take her plate into the kitchen.]
Lindsay: Here, let me!
Mel: No, no, no! You cooked. I'll clean up.
[Lindsay follows her into the kitchen.]
Mel: The premium for the variable annuity arrived. We both have to write checks. The termite inspector's coming tomorrow.
Lindsay: It never stops, does it?
Mel: What?
Lindsay: The house. Keeping things in order. If it isn't one thing, it's another.
Mel: We don't want the foundation to rot.
Lindsay: No, we don't.
Mel: We have to take care of it. After all, it's our home.
[Lindsay follows Mel into the dining room.]
Mel: Zanna called. She offered us tickets to the Eugenie Kissen recital. She wanted to know if we're still planning on going with her and Tess. I said of course.
Lindsay: Mel! (Embraces her, kisses her on the cheek)
Mel: (Angrily pushes her away) Stop it! Stop it!
Lindsay: What? I just wanted to give you a hug and a kiss!
Mel: I don't want you giving me a hug or a kiss!
Lindsay: But I thought - I mean, that everything was going to be okay.
Mel: How can everything be okay? I'm just trying to maintain some sense of order, to hold things together!
Lindsay: I see. I actually thought you decided to forgive me.
Mel: You must expect miracles. Or amnesia. Well, I'm sorry I can't give you what you want, but that's par for the course, isn't it?
Lindsay: What's that supposed to mean?
Mel: There's nothing I can do that'll ever make you feel completely happy. You'll always feel unsatisfied and I'll always feel like I'm not enough.
Lindsay: That's not true.
Mel: Bullshit! Of course it is! Otherwise none of this would've happened!
Lindsay: Mel - are you okay?
(Mel clutches her belly)
Mel: Something feels wrong.
Lindsay: Oh, God!
[Babylon. Brian and Justin are sort of dancing, Ben and Michael are sort of dancing. Ted is standing around like he's looking for somebody. Emmett makes his grand entrance with Drew in tow. The crowd parts like the Red Sea. Everybody stares in awe. Emmett introduces Drew to the boys.]
Emmett: Close your mouth, boys! The drool's getting on the floor. Someone could slip! It's my baby's first time at Babylon, so let's show him a good time! C'mon, honey, let's go exercise our thighs in a different way tonight!
[They dance, Emmett takes off Drew's shirt. Michael, Ben, Ted, Justin, even Brian, watch in undisguised envy. When Emmett and Drew kiss in the middle of the dance floor. Cut to Emmett and Drew having a sedate dinner in a deserted restaurant.]
Drew: Another beer?
Emmett: (waking from his fantasy) Huh?
Drew: You want another beer?
Emmett: No, thanks, I haven't finished this one.
[He looks around the restaurant - it's completely empty.]
Emmett: Do you happen to notice anything peculiar?
Drew: Like what?
Emmett: Like - this is one of Pittsburgh's most famous restaurants, but we're the only ones here!
Drew: Must be a slow night. You gonna finish that?
Emmett: Ah - no! You know, when you said we were gonna go out, this isn't exactly what I imagined.
Drew: What'd you imagine?
Emmett: For one thing - people! Did you buy this place out so we wouldn't be seen together?
Drew: I don't like the attention, that's all. It's hard to have a meal or even a conversation with fans coming up every two minutes, asking for an autograph. Trust me. It's better this way.
[Emmett is unconvinced.]
Drew: It's good you saved room for dessert. They've got a k*ller chocolate cake. Must be a foot high. You'll need an extra-long workout after that!
[Michael trots out a vase of flowers.]
Hunter: Just don't swear, or fart, or make stupid jokes, okay? And don't do any Bette Davis impressions.
Michael: When have I evah done a Bette Davis impression?
Ben: We promise we won't embarrass you, pal.
[There's a knock on the door.]
Hunter: It's them!
[Ben opens the door. Right away, we can see that the vibes are not good.]
Ben: Steve, Amber, come in.
Michael: Can I take your coats?
Steve: No, thanks. We're not staying.
Amber: If we hadn't gone through her journal, we never would have known.
Steve: Considering what kids are up to these days, you do whatever you have to.
Amber: You have no idea how upset we were -
Steve: ARE!
Amber: That your son may have exposed our daughter to AIDS.
Ben: Hunter doesn't have AIDS. He's HIV-positive.
Sam: What difference does it make?
Ben: A very big difference. I oughta know. I happen to be HIV-positive, too.
Michael: We're very aware of safe sex and we've instructed Hunter to be, as well.
Hunter: I wore a condom.
Amber: I'm glad that you can be so matter-of-fact about it.
Steve: But you still should have told us!
Ben: If Michael and I had known in advance that Hunter and Callie were going to have sex, which for the record we didn't, we would have discussed it. However, the important thing is, they both acted responsibly.
Steve: What the hell do they know? They're sixteen!
Hunter: More than you!
Steve: We don't want him seeing Callie again.
Hunter: No f*ck' way.
Ben: Calm down.
Steve: That's final.
Hunter: f*ck this shit!
Ben: Hunter, that's enough!
Michael: Excuse yourself. Go on.
[Hunter slams into his room. He's pissed.]
Amber: We're sorry about Hunter. But we have to protect Callie.
Steve: How'd he get it, anyway?
Ben: That's a private matter.
Amber: He had sex with our daughter. I think we have a right to know.
[Hunter bursts out of his room.]
Hunter: Whyn't you tell 'em? Go on! Tell 'em everything! Or would you like me to?
[Mel and Lindsay are in a small private room at the hospital. Mel's lying down in bed, Lindsay's sitting next to her. One thing hasn't changed: the frozen silence between them. The doctor comes in.]
Doc: How you feeling?
Mel: Fine. How's the baby?
Doc: Baby's fine, too. For now.
Mel: Thank God. What the hell happened?
Doc: You went into early labor. Probably brought on by stress. What did I tell you about taking it easy?
Mel: I know, I know.
Doc: Obviously you don't, or you wouldn't be here. Well, this time you're gonna listen. If you deliver too prematurely, there could be serious complications.
Mel: Are you trying to scare me?
Doc: Damn right I am! We managed to stop the labor with drugs. But for the remainder of the pregnancy, you're not to leave your bed, except for a trip to the bathroom. No extended walking, no lifting, no physical exertion of any kind. Do I make myself clear?
[Mel nods.]
Doc: (to Lindsay) Keep her in bed, don't let her out.
Lindsay: I'll strap her to it if I have to.
Doc: You might. (To Mel) You're very lucky to have such a devoted partner. You're gonna be spending a lot of time together.
[Spin class. Michael, Ben, Ted, Justin.]
Instructor: OK, everybody ready, let's go!
Brian: Don't leave without me!
Ted: What the hell's he doing?
Justin: Today the Liberty Ride, tomorrow the Tour de France.
[Brian starts out cocky, calling out to Justin.]
Brian: You should have told me it was Babylon on wheels!
[He's barely able to catch his breath and he's also sweating profusely. He breaks up.]
[Emmett in Deb's kitchen.]
Emmett: How many friends have you daughter in the collection? 3.500? Well, that's a lot of pigs. Well if you wants a cake in a shape of pig, she'll get a cake in a shape of pig. Oh, can you excuse me? I got a call comes in. Hello?
Sierra: "Emmett?"
Emmett: Yeah?
Sierra: "It's Sierra. We'll have to talk."
Emmett: We... we... we do?
Sierra: Right away. Today.
[Cut to a restaurant. Emmett and Sierra siting at one tabe.]
Sierra: Emmett, I don't think I've ever been so upset.
Emmett: I can imagine.
Sierra: I felt the best way to deal with the situation was for us to sit down together and discuss it.
Emmett: That seems to be perfectly reasonable.
Sierra: I was in the shower this morning when Drew got the call.
Emmett: What call?
Sierra: From our wedding planner. She was rushed to the hospital. Her appendix burst. She's gonna be out of commission for months.
Emmett: Oh! Oh, that's a shame!
Sierra: It's worse than a shame, it's an absolute disaster! Drew and I can't postpone our wedding. So I've decided I want you to do it.
Emmett: !
Sierra: I realize I've caught you offguard, that you don't know what to say, but please, Emmett, say yes! You have no idea how important this is to me.
Emmett: What about Drew? Something tells me he wouldn't want me to -
Sierra: I know sometimes he can be a bit gruff. But oh, Emmett, if you only knew him like I do! Of course he's gorgeous and strong and athletic, but he's also kind and loving and honest. He's - well, my hero. And we need a wedding that's worthy of a hero.
[Emmett smiles weakly.]
Sierra: You know, my mother used to tell me that the way to have a perfect marriage is to start off with a perfect wedding. And I just know you'll give us that perfect start.
[Next day at school, Hunter tries to talk to Callie. She seems a little cool, to say the least.]
Hunter: Hey! Hey! I'll looking for you in the cafeteria. Where were you?
Callie: I had to study.
Hunter: You missed a great lunch. You missed me. Did your parents tell you about the talk?
[She nods.]
Hunter: It was twisted. So what'd they say? Callie?
Callie: They said you told them that you were a prost*tute. That you had sex with men and that's how you got it. Is that true?
[He nods.]
Callie: Why didn't you tell me?
Hunter: How do you tell your girlfriend that you used to f*ck guys for a living? You'd never talk to me again. You're barely talking to me now.
Callie: Then you're gay?
Hunter: I thought I was.
Callie: All I can think about is you and all those men. Them doing things to you. You doing things to them.
Hunter: I don't do it anymore. I swear.
Callie: I've got to get back to class.
[She leaves him alone at the hall.]
[Diner. Brian sits on the bar. Ted and Justin are siting beside him.]
Ted: We just heard that Remsen Pharmaceuticals is sponsoring the ride to the tune of 100 g's.
Brian: Will wonders never cease.
Justin: We didn't say anything.
Ted: Having been trained never to divulge information under penalty of death, but it has the fingerprints of one Brian Kinney all over it.
Justin: Now you can forget about the ride.
Ted: Take care of yourself. You need your rest. Go take a nap.
Brian: You wanna cut my meat up for me too?
[Ted and Justin exchange looks - like whoa, isn't he touchy!]
Justin: Gotta go.
Ted: Gotta train.
[Debbie has seen this conversation.]
Debbie: Freshen your hemlock?
Brian: What makes you think I want to k*ll myself?
Debbie: The look on your face, for one thing.
Brian: Maybe I should have.
Debbie: Well, there is an alternative to going out in a blaze of glory. And that's giving 'em all the big "f*ck you."
[She sits down next to Brian at the counter.]
Debbie: I always say it was cause of me that Vic survived those last four years. That I bathed him, I fed him -
Brian: Wiped his ass.
Debbie: Right. But the truth is? Vic fought like a sonofabitch. Every time a new infection h*t or some new med would make him feel worse that was supposed to be curing him, he would dig down into some unfathomable part of himself and say, "I'm not giving up yet, so f*ck off!" (She gives him the check.) You can pay my tip.
[Michael helps Lindsay set up a bed downstairs for Melanie.]
Lindsay: Thanks for helping me, Michael.
Mel: Yes, thank you, Michael.
Michael: Hey, this is my kid, too. With anything's happen to them...
Mel: Nothing is goin' to happen! I'm fine.
Lindsay: There are a lot of women who have to do this at the end of their pregnancy.
Michael: Yet another reason why I'm glad I'm a guy.
Lindsay: Still, there are many pleasures.
Mel: Along with the pain.
Lindsay: There. Alright. (To Mel). Get in.
[Mel slowly climbs into the bed, impatiently shrugging off Michael's attempt to help.]
Michael: Stay in. If you need anything else, call me. Or better yet, I'll call you. In about an hour.
[Michael leaves.]
Mel: Oy. He's never gonna leave me alone, is he?
Lindsay: Probably not.
Mel: And then there's Debbie.
[She gets out of bed.]
Lindsay: Where you going?
Mel: To get a bottle of water.
Lindsay: I'll get it. The doctor said you're not to move. Christ! Don't you listen to anybody?
Mel: It's just in the kitchen.
Lindsay: You can go to the bathroom, that's it. Until the baby's born, I'm your arms and legs.
Mel: So, I guess we're stuck.
Lindsay: You in bed. Us with each other.
Mel: Funny, isn't it?
Lindsay: Achingly. I'll get you your water.
[Drew watches cartoons while he waits for Emmett to show up for their rendezvous at the No-Tell Motel.]
Drew: Hey sport. What's happen to you?
Emmett: Sorry I'm late, I was with Sierra. I'm afraid you're going to have to deal with a very distraught fiancee when you get home.
Drew: You didn't tell her.
Emmett: No, no, of course not. I leave that up to you. I just told her I couldn't plan your wedding.
Drew: Oh. Yeah.
Emmett: So - when are you gonna tell her?
Drew: About what?
Emmett: About you. About me. She loves you, you know. More than loves you. Worships you. Adores you. Believes in you. You know how hurt, how devastated she'd be if she ever found out?
Drew: Why would she ever find out? Why should anybody?
Emmett: Because it's the truth?
Drew: Truth?! I have nothing to gain and everything to lose. See, I'm an industry. Drew Boyd, Inc. A lotta people make millions of dollars off of me. Do you have any idea what would happen if this were to get out? I'd lose my friends, my teammates, my fans, my endorsements. But most of all, I'd lose the thing that I love most in this world - playing football. Besides, I love Sierra. I want a wife and kids just like everybody else.
Emmett: What about us?
Drew: Nothing has to change. Nobody needs to know. It's none of their g*dd*mn business.
Emmett: You know, everything you said made perfectly good sense. And I'm sure most people would agree with you. Why tell anyone? Why lose everything, when it can be your little secret? But you see, it was different for me. Everyone could tell who I was from the start which, believe me, didn't make my life any easier. I've been beaten up, cursed at, spit on, from day one. Which in a way, was worth it. Because I've never had to live a lie. And I'm not about to start now. Not for you. Not for anyone.
[He kisses Drew on the cheek and leaves.]
[The Bruckner-Novotny household is in crisis mode. Poor Hunter is practically in tears over being kicked to the curb by Callie.]
Hunter: What girl's gonna want me when she finds out what I've got and how I got it?
Michael: You'll find someone. You'll see.
Ben: Just like Michael and I found each other.
Hunter: It's different with a guy and a girl. I mean, someday she'll want to have kids. And I can never do that.
Ben: That's not true. They're working on it.
Hunter: I never should have told her. That way no one ever would have known.
Ben: You did the right thing, the honorable thing, telling the truth.
Hunter: No one's ever gonna love me!
Ben: That's not true. We love you. Whether you're positive or not. Whether you're gay or not.
Michael: And others will, too.
[He cries.]
[Justin is getting ready for bed; Brian's getting ready to go out.]
Justin: Where you going? Babylon?
Brian: Hopefully, I'll have the strength for one little spin around the floor.
Justin: Don't make noise when you come in. I have to get up early to make spin class.
Brian: You youngsters. I don't know where you get your strength.
[He pats Justin on the head and leaves... ...to practice spinning all by himself in the room full of exercise bikes.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x12 - Irritation and Separation"} | foreverdreaming |
[Brian sneakes his way past "sleeping" Justin. Justin hastily dresses and, in a noirishly sh*t scene, follows his elusive quarry through a dark and foggy alley to his covert destination. Brian is going to the friggin' gym. Justin finds him pedaling away in the empty spinning room.]
Justin: Nice night for a ride!
Brian: The f*ck you doing here?
Justin: Following you to see where you've been going for the last three weeks.
Brian: Now you know! Now you can go back home and go to bed.
Justin: Do you know what time it is?
Brian: Little hand's on the two, the big hand's on the three - quarter after two?
Justin: Why are you doing this?
Brian: Gotta get in shape.
Justin: For what?
Brian: The Liberty Ride.
Justin: You're not still thinking of going.
Brian: Because you and the rest of them disqualified me, doesn't mean that I did.
Justin: We're just concerned.
Brian: There are so many poor starving children who go to bed hungry every night. Be concerned about them.
Justin: So why the secrecy?
Brian: Because I don't want people like you saying, "You can't! You musn't!" I don't want every cunty f*g who goes to the gym saying, (in falsetto) "Poor Kinney! Told ya so!"
Justin: I have to hand it to you. Your perseverance is surpassed only by your narcissism.
Brian: There you have it. The secret to my success. Unless I'm proven wrong by the naysayers and I fail dismally.
Justin: Oh, you're not gonna fail, dismally or otherwise. You're gonna be a big, fat f*cking success as always. We're gonna go on the ride together and at night, we'll pitch a tent and we'll have hot, passionate sex under the stars.
Brian: What the f*ck are you doing?
Justin: I've heard that when achieving your goal, it's best to visualize it.
[Brian leans in for a kiss. As Justin climbs up on the handlebars, it seems very likely that Bicycle!sex is in the offing.]
[Michael, Ben, Hunter and Ted with the cycling instructor.]
Instructor: C'mon, give all what you've got. Three, Two, One and set. Cool down.
Ben: I'd say we're in great shape for the ride, wouldn't you?
Michael: Provided my ass holds out.
Ben: I've never known it to fail.
Michael: You've never ridden it for 350 miles.
Hunter: Maybe you can get an extended warranty since it's no longer new.
Michael: A deep-fat-fried victory dinner says you'll be seeing it cross the finish line ahead of yours.
Ben: This is a race. Anyone who rides is a winner.
[Meanwhile, Ted overhears a couple of guys in the spin class.]
Guy #1: A friend of mine went on a ride last year. He said at night the showers get really steamy. And he wasn't talking about the water.
Guy #2: Bringing anything with you that starts with a C?
Guy #1: You mean my vitamins? You know me! Never leave home without them!
[In the next scene, the frumpy GLC couple pay a visit to Melanie. Melanie seems glad to see them.]
Tannis: We're giving the riders a big send-off before they leave. I've prepared a speech expressing the Center's gratitude.
Philip: A banner, a band, drag queen cheerleaders!
Mel: Sounds great! I wish I could be there.
Philip: Us too. Considering all the work you've done.
Mel: I'm not supposed to leave my g*dd*mn bed. Doctor's orders.
Tannis: If it were me I'd be going stir-crazy.
Philip: Not me! I'd fluff up my pillows, eat bon-bons and watch Oprah!
[Enter Lindsay.]
Lindsay: Hey! Can I get anyone a drink?
Tannis: Thanks, Lindz. We were just leaving.
Philip: Now remember what the doctor said. And stay put! (To Lindz) Bye.
[Mel picks up some mail from the bed.]
Lindsay: I think I'll take Gus to the park. He could use some fresh air and so could I.
Mel: I know the feeling.
Lindsay: Will you be alright?
Mel: Fine, thank you. Before you go, could you bring me some tea and maybe some peach yogurt and a couple of cookies? And go upstairs and get me my maroon cardigan? I'm a little chilly.
Lindsay: (looking pissed) Anything else?
Mel: Another blanket and a firmer pillow and as long as you're out I need another roll of stamps, as well as these things from the pharmacy.
[She's looking at a angry Lindsay.]
Mel: I'm not allowed to move. What the hell else am I supposed to do?
Lindsay: You might trying saying please and stop treating me like the hired help. Which might not actually be so bad. At least I'd get paid!
Mel: Sorry. But it's your child, too!
Lindsay: That still doesn't give you the right to order me around!
Mel: I wasn't ordering you! You have a hell of a nerve talking to me about rights. You had no right -
Lindsay: Okay! Okay. I'll do anything you want. But let's stop this right now!
[Next up: a speakerphone conversation between Brett Keller and Michael and Justin. Michael and Justin are in the comic store.]
Brett: Well, before they give us the green light, they want to see what they're buying and how much it'll cost them, which'll be plenty by the time I'm through. So I'd like one of you to be here to help me convince them why we have to be true to the original vision.
Michael: Sure, Brett. Which one of us do you want?
Brett: Probably Justin. No offense, Mike. The studio execs understand pictures more than words.
Michael: Whatever's good for the project.
Brett: Justin?
Justin: When would it happen?
Brett: This Thursday.
Justin: (quietly, to Michael) What about the Liberty Ride?
Brett: I can't hear you. You're breaking up.
Michael: Nothing, Brett. He'll be there.
Brett: Great. I'll have my assistant send you an E-ticket and you can stay in my guest house. That's my other line. Gotta go.
Michael: Can you believe it? You're going to LA!
Justin: But I made a commitment. I have sponsors. I raised money.
Michael: If the movie gets made, you can give 'em a million bucks! (Horvath comes in) Hey, Carl. Looking for some superheroes to help you fight crime?
Carl: Actually, I'm looking for you. Will you excuse us, Justin?
Justin: Yeah, sure. See ya.
[Justin leaves.]
Michael: Buy some sunblock. Mind if I eat my lunch while you interrogate me?
Carl: Be my guest.
Michael: You want some?
Carl: (declines) Thanks. My stomach's been acting a little funny.
Michael: Something wrong?
Carl: It's your mother.
Michael: I realize she can be a little spicy, but I've never known her to cause indigestion.
Carl: As you know, we've been seeing each other a lot lately.
Michael: I know. I think it's great.
Carl: But it can't go on this way.
Michael: Suddenly, I'm not feeling so good myself.
Carl: No, it's nothing like that. What I'm trying to say is, I need someone in my life who'll make me laugh, who'll make me feel good.
Michael: I'm already taken, Carl.
Carl: That's why I want to marry your mother. As soon as you say "You may," I want her to say, "I do."
Michael: That's a big request. Normally I ask for personal references and W-2 forms for the last three years and an arrest report, but in your case I only have one question. Do you promise you'll be good to her?
Carl: I give you my word.
Michael: Then the answer is, "You may."
[Cut to Lindz and Brian at Gus's day care center.]
Lindsay: I'm like her emotional punching bag. She pounds away at me all day and I just stand there and take it!
Brian: That doesn't sound like old k*ller Muldoon to me!
[He gives her a playful biff to the chops.]
Lindsay: I have no choice. Her doctor says she has to stay in bed. No stress.
Brian: So now you have to serve in silence like that muncher in the military, Greta Camembert.
Lindsay: Margaret Cammermeyer. And I don't know how much longer I can put up with it!
Brian: Well, then don't.
Lindsay: But it's my fault. I'm the one to blame.
Brian: So therefore you're beating yourself up. Or rather, letting Melanie do it for you.
Lindsay: Old fashioned as it may seem, I still believe in loyalty over betrayal. Self-control over self-indulgence. Even if I fail to live up to my own expectation.
Brian: Tell her that.
Lindsay: She refuses to listen. She thinks that because I f*cked Sam, I'm no longer a lesbian.
Brian: Well, you know what a stickler for detail she is!
Lindsay: Brian, please!
Brian: What do you want me to say? If it's over, get the hell out.
Lindsay: It's not that simple. What about Gus? And the one on the way?
Brian: Staying together for the sake of the children is a f*cking poor excuse. I gladly offer myself as Exhibit A.
[Gus comes running up.]
Brian: Hey, Sonnyboy. C'mere.
[He lifts Gus up onto his lap.]
[Cut to Deb and Horvath. She's packing for Toronto. He's trying to propose.]
Debbie: Undies, sweaters - could you hold these for me for a minute? Thanks.
[She thrusts a pile of clothes into his arms.]
Carl: Debbie, I -
Debbie: Carl, you don't have to say it. I know we were supposed to be going to St. Pete's for a few days, but hell, the ride is for the hospice. How could I not do my bit and volunteer?
Carl: You got a big heart. That's why I love you.
Debbie: Besides, it'll still be there. We'll go on our honeymoon.
Carl: What?
Debbie: Ha! I'm joking. Honeymoon? Us? So you, uh, you wanted to tell me something. Go ahead. I'm all ears.
Carl: Debbie, honey -
[The doorbell rings.]
Debbie: f*ck! I need earmuffs. It's supposed to be colder than a witch's tit in Canada. So go ahead honey. What is it you wanted to say?
Carl: Be sure to bundle up.
[They hug. The doorbell rings again. Emmett runs out of his room to answer.]
Emmett: Keep packing, Deb. Or whatever it is you're doing there. I'll get it.
[It's Ted.]
Emmett: Teddy!
Ted: Hey, Em. I have something for you.
Emmett: So where is he?
Ted: Sorry, nothing like that. It's just this. The $5,000 I owe you for covering for me that time I 'borrowed' from Gus's college fund.
Emmett: Thank you, Teddy.
Ted: I'm sure you can use it.
Emmett: Not only for that. I mean for keeping your word, for following through. You've come a long way.
Ted: I guess I have.
Emmett: And now you're about to go even further, huh? This time on a bike?
Ted: Uh, actually, I've changed my mind. I'm not going.
Emmett: What?
Ted: Yeah, I'm up to my garbanzos in work. I can't leave Brian with everything and I just got these new plants and they're at that critical phase where if you don't watch 'em, they could go into shock.
Emmett: I'm the one who's in shock. You've been training for weeks.
Ted: It's only a bike ride. Besides, I've got my meetings, my groups, and -
Emmett: Can't you skip 'em for a few days?
Ted: No, they're what's got me through these past few months. I mean, they've been my support system. On the ride, I'd be on my own. Say there's a trigger. That I see guys doing drugs, that I'm tempted - where can I go? Who can I call? I can't take a chance of that happening, of being that person again.
[He leaves.]
[At the Novotny-Bruckner apartment, Hunter watches Ben tune up his bike.]
Ben: Gears lubed up, seat nice and tight.
Hunter: I'm gonna ride it, not f*ck it.
[Mikey comes home with bags of groceries.]
Michael: Wow! That is one cool bike!
Ben: Yep! Thought he needed a new one for the Liberty Ride.
Hunter: Can I take it out for a spin? Please, Dad, please?
Ben: Sure, son!
Michael: Just don't be late for dinner! I'm making your favorite, blueberry crumble.
[Exit Hunter.]
Ben: So. How were things at work, dear?
Michael: Let's see. (They kiss). I finished the latest adventure of Rage, made $600 bucks in sales on the website. Oh, and Carl Horvath wants to marry my mother.
Ben: What?
Michael: He actually asked me for her hand.
Ben: So give it to him?
Michael: Every last digit. After all, that's what two people do when they love each other, right? Get married?
[Ben smiles quizzically.]
[Brian comes home to find that Justin has pitched a tent on the bed.]
Brian: What the f*ck's all this?
Justin: Just making sure we have everything we need for the ride. (He reads from a checklist). Tent, sleeping bags, first aid kit, tool kit, rain gear, two sets of warm clothes, one dildo -
Brian: You certainly thought of everything, but why do you need a tent if you're gonna be staying in a mansion?
Justin: Hm?
Brian: Michael told me you're winging to the coast tomorrow to huddle with studio heads.
Justin: I never said I was going.
Brian: He seems to think that you are.
Justin: Well, I'm not. We're going on the ride together, as planned.
Brian: Unfortunately, there's been a slight change of plans. I'm not going.
Justin: Why the f*ck not?
Brian: Because you're right. I'm not in good enough shape.
Justin: I saw you cycling.
Brian: Yeah, and after 30 miles, I was winded. On the ride, we're gonna have to do 80 to 100 miles a day. Maybe more. There's no way I could make it.
Justin: That is bullshit. You're just saying that to get me to go to Hollywood.
[Brian shrugs.]
Brian: Go on the ride without me. Sacrifice your future. That's what I call charity.
[He gets in the shower.]
[Michael stops by to give Melanie and Lindsay all possible cellphone numbers in case the accursed event happens while he's on the accursed ride.]
Michael: Here is my cell phone number. And here's Ben's cell phone number. Here is Hunter's cell phone number. And here's the number for our hotel in Toronto.
Mel: I'll be too busy calling you to give birth.
Michael: Maybe I shouldn't go.
Lindsay: Michael! The baby's not due for weeks.
Michael: In case something happens.
Mel: Nothing's going to happen, believe me. I'll be screaming from boredom long before I'll be screaming from labor.
Lindsay: Go! And have a good time! It'll be an amazing adventure.
Mel: I just wish I could be there to see you guys off.
Michael: You stay right here. Remember, if you need to get ahold of me -
Lindsay: We know, Michael, we know.
[They kiss him goodbye and send him on his way.]
Mel: Would you get the f*ck out of here?
Lindsay: We love you.
Mel: We love you.
Michael: He's a lucky kid, coming into such a warm and loving home.
[Exit Michael.]
[At the diner, Deb is taking inventory of sandwiches for the ride.]
Debbie: - fifty roast beef -
Emmett: Roast beef's Teddy's favorite. Better make that 49.
Debbie: It's a damn shame he decided not to go. It'd be good for him. Give him a victory, some self-esteem.
Emmett: He's too afraid to leave his meetings and groups, you know, that without his support system he'll slip. He's as addicted to them as he was to the crystal meth.
Debbie: Well, at least it's a healthy addiction. Too bad he can't take his support system with him.
[Carl comes in the diner and Deb goes all teenager on him.]
Debbie: (squealing) Carl! Honey, hi! Can I interest you in a box lunch? It's for the bus trip to Toronto, but I got an extra!
Carl: Thanks - I already ate.
Debbie: You wanna lend a hand? Em! Give Carl some fruit. Show him how it's done.
Emmett: You take an apple or an orange. You drop it into the box. Comme ca. Then you move onto the next. Got it?
Carl: Thanks for the training. Deb, could you stop for a second, honey?
Debbie: Carl, I'm up to my ass in hard-boiled eggs, you mind if we talk later?
Carl: Sure, no hurry. We'll talk when you get back.
[He kisses her and leaves.]
Debbie: Bye, honeeee!
[Ted is talking to his p*ssy.]
Ted: Lupe! Lupeeee...
[Emmett knocks on the door.]
Ted: Come in! Lupe... C'mon, hon...
Emmett: Who are you talking to?
Ted: Lupe.
Emmett: Your cleaning lady's never gonna come out if you talk to her like that.
Ted: Lupe's my cat.
Emmett: You got a cat?
Ted: Yeah, I thought it'd be nice to have something warm and purring to come home to.
Emmett: Ain't that the truth.
Ted: The minute I brought her in, she ran straight for the bedroom.
Emmett: A feline after my own heart.
Ted: And how she's hiding in the closet.
Emmett: She'll come out in her own time, just like the rest of us. Meanwhile, come concentrate on my crass consumerism!
[Emmett skips into the living room.]
Emmett: Spandex, as far as the eye can see! In every color of the rainbow. A different ensemble for every day of the Liberty Ride.
Ted: It's very thoughtful of you, Em, not to mention extravagant. But I already told you I'm not going.
Emmett: Who said it's for you?
Ted: Who else?
Emmett: Me! I decided to go!
Ted: I thought you said you were too busy working!
Emmett: The Bushes will have to plan their next state dinner without me.
Ted: That you didn't have the money for the registration fee.
Emmett: A very good friend just paid me back.
Ted: That you were afraid of being eaten by a bear.
Emmett: At least the kind that live in the wilds of Canada. But I'm willing to confront my darkest fears for a worthy case, such as helping a friend. Being his support system. Seeing him through every crisis, great or small.
Ted: You'd really do that for me?
Emmett: I believe in you, Teddy, despite everything. I want you to succeed. I think I'll save the tangerine for the finish line.
[It's the big Liberty Ride send-off. GLC woman, Tannis, makes her speech. GLC Philip stand by hger side.]
Tannis: The Center wish each and every of you all luck and thanks for the benefit for the Liberty House Hospice.
Philip: We wish you all a great journey up to Toronto. And a safe ride back to Pittsburgh. It'll be the adventure of the life-time!
[All cheers. Deb hands out box lunches...]
Deb: There you go, honey. That's salami. I'm so proud of you for doin' this. Have a good time.
[The Novotny-Bruckner unload their bikes.]
Ben: All set. We're get onboard.
Hunter: I'll get the last row of seats. The guys there give a great blowjob.
Michael: Ah, the good old days of junior high.
[Brian shows up.]
Brian: Well, if it isn't Papa Bear and Momma Bear and Baby Bear!
Michael: Brian!
Brian: Just thought I'd stop by to remind you to wear your helmets, stay on the right and be sure to use your hand gestures.
Michael: Thanks for all the motherly advice, but my mother's going with me. I'm sorry you're not.
Mel: Have a great trip, you guys!
Brian: Mel! What a surprise! I heard you'd been spending most of your time in bed.
Mel: Living the life of Brian?
Michael: What are you doing here? You know you're not supposed - are you out of your -
Mel: No I'm not out of my. I just came down to see you off. So stop worrying. I'm fine.
Michael: Just don't let my mom see you! You know how hysterical she gets.
Mel: Your mom! Right!
[Emmett is looking for Ted. Will Ted make the ride? Deb gives Emmett a box lunch.]
Debbie: We have just enough lunches. I guess he's not coming.
Emmett: I thought I convinced him to change his mind.
Debbie: Michael! Get your asses on board, you guys, c'mon! Save me a seat.
[Michael, Ben and Hunter get on the bus. Still no sign of Ted. Emmett gets on the bus. Then Horvath comes chugging up.]
Carl: Debbie!
Debbie: Carl! Sweetie, you came down here? I told you you didn't have to do that!
Carl: Yes, I did. I couldn't leave without telling you -
[Mikey sticks his head out.]
Michael: Ma, would you get on the bus?
Debbie: I gotta go. I'll call you when I get there.
[She kisses him and gets on the bus. The doors close.]
Carl: Debbie, wait just a g*dd*mn minute! I've been trying to ask you for the last two days - will you marry me?
[The doors open.]
Debbie: What?
Carl: I said marry me!
[She gawks at him.]
Carl: Will you marry me?
[Ben and Mikey stick their heads out the window.]
Michael: Tell him yes and get on the bus!
Debbie: Yes!
[He gives her the ring.]
Debbie: f*ck!
[He gives her a big ole kiss. Deb says bye. The bus applauds. A cab pulls up with Ted in it. The bus are leaving]
Ted: Shit! Hey! HEY!
[Emmett see's him.]
Emmett: Stop the bus. Stop the f*cking bus!
[The bus stops appruptly.]
Ted: I made it!
Emmett: Knew you would.
[Mel comes home to a furious Lindsay.]
Lindsay: Where the f*ck have you been? I come home, you're not here. I look everywhere, frantic. I was about to call the hospital, the police, the morgue - ! I thought something terrible had happened.
Mel: Will you calm down?
Lindsay: No, I will not calm down. You scared the shit out of me.
Mel: Sorry.
Lindsay: I can tell!
Mel: I went to the Liberty Ride send-off.
Lindsay: Why did you do that? After everyone told you? To spite me?
Mel: That's right, honey. Make it all about you, as usual. You're the one who has a right to be angry, to be indignant, to feel betrayed. Well, guess what, my shiksa goddess!
Lindsay: Don't call me that!
Mel: This time it isn't about you. It's about me. I went out because if I stayed in this house another minute with you, I'd go out of my f*cking MIND! So I left out for ten minutes. Okay, half hour tops. Went over to Liberty Avenue, said my goodbyes and drove back. And look - here I am. Miracle of miracles, alive and still in one piece.
Lindsay: We can't go on doing the all-female version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? It's just too exhausting. You can't forgive me no matter how much I apologize and try to make it up to you and I'm starting not to care. After all, how many times can someone reject you before you just give up?
Mel: So what are you saying?
Lindsay: That perhaps it's best for both of us and for Gus and the baby if we aren't together. That we stop putting each other through needless hell, trying to repair something which obviously can't be fixed.
Mel: I think you're right.
Lindsay: I'll stay until after the baby's born.
[On the bus. Deb's showing off her ring to anyone who'll look.]
Debbie: [to Hunter. Showing her hands with the ring] How those lemon bars? Aren't they to die for?
Michael: Ma, would you sit down and stop showing off?
Debbie: I'm allowed! How many times in your life do you get an engagement ring?
Guy: Elizabeth Taylor, eight times. Twice from Richard Burton. Jennifer Lopez three, Julia Roberts four.
Debbie: Thank you! You know what I mean! When a man gives you a ring it's special! It's meaningful.
Michael: Well, I wouldn't know.
Ben: Maybe it's time you found out.
Michael: Found out what?
Ben: Michael Novotny, you are the man I've been looking for all my life. I am so very blessed to have found you. Which is why I'm asking you to do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage.
[Ben pulls out a box with a ring. Mikey looks at him like he done lost his mind.]
Ben: We're going to Toronto! Gay marriage is not only accepted, it's legal. And like you said, that's what two people do when they love each other, right?
Michael: I don't know what to say!
Ben: "Yes" would be good.
[At It's party time at Keller's house and "Happy Birthday" written in cocaine on the glass table. Everybody's drinking toasts and doing toots.]
Brett: Hey! Justin!
[He hugs him.]
Brett: I could give you a line the party's to welcome you to LA, but it's a birthday bash for my friend Malcolm. He just won an Oscar for scoring his first film.
Justin: Your house is amazing.
[Justin hasn't looked this impressed]
Brett: Yeah, I call it the house that V Men built. Soon you'll have a house that Rage built. Joseph, Mr. Taylor will be staying with us for a few days. Would you take his bag to the guest house? (He takes Justin by the arm, leads him back to the party) I have a butler, just like Bruce Wayne! Let's get you a drink. Meeting's all set for Thursday at the studio. We'll go by my office tomorrow and I'll show you some of the storyboards we've come up with.
[They clink glasses. A guy calls down from the balcony.]
Guy: Brettski!
Brett: Hey, Conor. I thoughed you couldn't make it. This is Justin Taylor. He created Rage.
Conor: Let me tell you. Brett's obsessed with your comic.
Brett: Justin, this is Conor James. He calls himself an actor.
Conor: A few others do, too.
Justin: Including me. I think you're great.
Conor: Thanks!
Brett: What would you think of Con for Rage?
Justin: He'd - I mean you would be wonderful.
Conor: Get me a script when you have it.
[He walks off.]
Justin: Is he - ?
Brett: Of course not! Conor's as straight as they come. He's out bangin' bitches every night.
[They look down the balcony into the living room where Conor's sucking face with a guy.]
[The Big Yellow School Bus makes it to Toronto and the g*ng check out Church Street.]
Ben: There is the sky tower!
Debbie: And there is the dome!
Ted: The Church Street. According to the Danron Guide it's the center of gay life in Toronto, from its colorful neighborhood bar, Moosie's, to its thumpa-thumpa dance club Gomorrha.
Emmett: Let's go to Gomorrha. Sounds hot!
Debbie: It's probably the only place in Toronto that is. I've frigging freezing!
Michael: You're probably going to think I'm crazy, but you know what this street reminds me of?
Debbie: Liberty Avenue!
Emmett: All those men, queens and drag queens.
Ben: Pretty the same, there you go.
Ted: Hey, here is Moosie's!
Debbie: Good, get here and get warm.
Hunter: Drinks are on me!
Ben: Wait.
Michael: You have a can to dry.
Ben: Beside how old are you?
Hunter: I say that I used to say, "How old you would like me to be?"
[Inside Moosie's looks exactly like Woody's.]
Debbie: I don't know about you, but I'm havin' a gay-ja vu!
Ted: You too?
Ben: Make it three!
Michael: It really reminds me of...
All: Woody's!
Michael: The strangest thing of all is I keep expecting Brian to walk in.
[And guess what? Brian does walk in!]
Brian: Molson's?
Debbie: Brian!
Brian: Calm down, keep your pants on! (Checking out guy) Or not!
Michael: How did you get here?
Brian: Mikey, did no one ever tell you? In 1903, at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, the Wright Brothers invented this thing called -
Ted: Flight!
Debbie: What are you doing here?
Brian: The Liberty Ride begins here, am I correct?
Ben: So you came to cheer us on?
Brian: Exactly, Professor. I cashed in 25,000 frequent flyer miles so I could come here and be your cheerleader. I'm going on the ride. I'm busting it up for charity same as you.
Emmett: That sounds so familiar. This is Jaune-Claude, he's french.
Jaune-Claude: Bonsvar.
Emmett: He's very kind to offer how Canadian's keep warming up. [he see's Ted's pissed face] But I said, sorry, Jeane-Claude but as much as I loved to I'm apparently here with Ted. So show somebody else how you stick together. Aurevior.
[There's a male stripper onstage.]
Michael: [to the bartender] What's goin' on?
Bartender: Oh it's Pit, he's 32 years of gay marriage.
[Two old guys who look like they came out of Brian's nightmare at the beginning of 408 are getting married after being together for 32 years. Mikey stands around looking sulky. Brian goes to him. He kisses him on his back.]
Michael: I'm glad you decided to come, but I don't know how the hell you're gonna be able to make it.
Brian: Oh, I might just surprise you.
Michael: Thanks, but I've had enough surprises. Ben proposed.
Brian: Proposed what?
Michael: Marriage. It's legal for us to get married up here in Toronto.
Brian: I believe I read that somewhere. Well, I hope that while he was down on his knees, he did something useful!
Michael: It was beautiful and heartfelt.
Brian: I'm sure. But you declined, of course, because deep down, you still love me best.
Michael: I didn't give him an answer yet.
Brian: What's stopping you? Besides the fact that it's the most pathetic idea I've ever heard!
Michael: It just so happens that a lot of gay men want to get married.
Brian: Darling, have you seen them? And since when did you ever have the least interest in getting married?
Michael: I didn't! But not because I didn't want to. But because I never thought I could. It wasn't a story I told myself like straight kids did, you know, that someday I'd meet that special person and we'd fall in love and have a big wedding. It was never real for me! Then all this stuff started happening in Massachusetts and California and here -
Brian: And suddenly a whole wide world of wonderful opportunity just opened up. Flowers and rice and registering at Pottery Barn. Not to mention an acrimonious divorce and an ugly settlement and having your kid hate you. Listen to me. Are you listening?
Michael: I'm listening!
Brian: We're q*eer. We don't need marriage. We don't need the sanction of dickless politicians and pederast priests. We f*ck who we want to, when we want to. That is our God-given right.
Michael: But it's also our God-given right to have everything that straight people have. Because we're every bit as much human as they are!
Brian: You're a writer! Rewrite the story.
[Michael goes to Ben. They've looking at the old pair]
Ben: This is touching, don't you think?
Michael: I do. - I do. Ben, you heard what I said?
Ben: Yeah, I heard you, you just said -
[They kiss.]
[Justin and Brett Keller take a meeting at the office of Fenderman, the studio exec.]
Brett: I'm gonna need Stage 7 for Rage's lair and the entire back lot to build Gayopolis.
Fenderman: There are a few other pictures we'd like to sh**t here.
Brett: This is the only one that I'm directing.
Fenderman: Ha-ha! Ya punk! You sound like I've already given you the green light.
Brett: So? What's stopping you?
Fenderman: The price tag, for starters! This little epic of yours is gonna cost me a f*cking fortune!
Brett: You can afford it. My last picture made you $250 million!
Fenderman: This one's different. A gay superhero?
Brett: The world's ready for it!
Fenderman: Maybe your world, but not Topeka.
Brett: If it's good, if it's got a big enough star, if you hype the shit out of it, they'll go. Right? Guys?
[Silence from the other two at the meeting.]
Fenderman: Looks pretty grim and depressing to me. Who wants to see a kid get his head bashed in? What about all the sex, blowjobs, butt-f*cking on every page?
Brett: It's something the audience has never seen before!
Fenderman: What makes you think they want to see it now? The concession stand's gonna have a hell of a time selling Hershey bars! Look. You wanna go with a gay thing, you're gonna cut back on the ass business. And it's gotta be cheerier. And why does your hero have to be so f*cking arrogant?
Justin: Excuse me, Mr. Fenderman, but our comic book was conceived that way for a reason. Because a lot of the shit that gay people go through is grim. I ought to know. I'm a kid who got his head bashed in. As far as the ass business, getting your butt f*cked is one of the great pleasures and privileges of being gay. If you haven't experienced it yourself, I recommend it. As far as Rage is concerned, just because he has no apologies for who he is and no regrets about his life doesn't make him arrogant. It makes him honest. And brave. So despite your concerns, we prefer to be true to our original vision. Rage wouldn't expect anything less.
[Ben and Mikey's Wedding.]
Minister: We are here to joining the ceremony Mr.Michael Novotny and Mr.Benjamin Bruckner.
[Ted, Emmett and Deb are crying.]
Debbie: Christ, these tissues were mines. [she give them to Emmett and Ted.]
Minister: Dear Michael, promised to love, respect and cherished Ben and be his true and faithful husband?
Michael: I do.
Minister: And dear Ben, promised to love, respect and cherished Michael and be his true and faithful husband?
[a short break.]
Hunter: Say do, dude!
[all laughs]
Ben: I do.
Minister: If anyone knows one reason why these two people should not be joint in marriage speak now or for ever hold your piece.
[Cut to Brian. He opens his mouth.]
Debbie: If you say one word, you can hold more than one of your piece.
[he shouts his mouth.]
Minister: The rings, please.
[Hunter give it to them. They share the rings.]
Minister: Now by the propriance of the territory I pronounce you to be legally married.
[They kiss each other. All applauds.]
Debbie: I'm not losing a son. I'm gaining a - son!
Michael: You're next, Ma!
[Ted's still sniffling.]
Emmett: God, you barely shed a tear at Mel and Lindz's ceremony.
Ted: Well, they're d*ke, for chrissakes. Shake hands and go bowling! How much can you get choked up? Anyway, it's not just
for Michael and Ben. If things had been different, maybe -
Emmett: No point in beating yourself up, Teddy. We're still friends, aren't we? Which means we'll be together a lot longer than
most marriages!
[Now it's time for the Liberty Ride kick-off. Deb mother-hens everybody, as usual.]
Debbie: You boys stick together, alright? And look out for each other.
Michael: We will, ma.
Debbie: Shit, I just called you boys. You're married men now. Go on, before I start bawling.
[Brian rides up on his bike.]
Brian: Did someone mention bawling?
Debbie: Take it easy, you hear me? And don't act like some f*ck' superhero.
Brian: Yes, mother.
[He kisses her on the cheek.]
Debbie: OK. I'll be on the food wagon, keeping an eye out for all of you!
Speaker: Riders, are you ready? Liberty Ride starts right now!
[Liberty Ride 2004 officially begins. There's a sign on back of Ben and Mikey's bikes that says "Just married." ]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "04x13 - Proposal of Two Kinds"} | foreverdreaming |
[LA. Everybody is packing some stuff since Rage isn't gonna sh**t. A crashed Justin packs also his draws.]
[Cut to Babylon. Brian and Ted enters the empty club.]
Ted: It all see come to be together. No obliges what I can see, everything looks good. All we need is to resigned, and the club transfered to the name Kinnetic Inc. and you got some insurance if someone got sue you. I'm sure the join are all yours.
Brian: Theodore, you are admirable.
Ted: All I say is say was go buy a new toy. But this isn't exactly the toy I had in mind.
Brian: Hey, it's just a box of appropriate boys of age 19 to 40s, so stop being the mother. I can afford it.
[They are going to the other side and we're cutless going to another empty room. But this time it's Michael and Ben, who were looking for some place.]
Michael: Are you sure we can afford it?
Ben: We did the maths a dotzen times even without the movie we've been having an income. Plus the money we've saved...
Michael: I just need some resurrance.
[Ben leans forward and kisses Michael.]
Ben: How's that?
Michael: Um, I already thinking of colors game.
[Cut to Babylon in the backroom.]
Brian: All the backroom need is a fresh smell of black painting and a condom dispenser.
[Cut back to Michael and Brian. They're enter another room.]
Michael: What about pink walls and a sky blue sealing in white fluffy clowds for the babies room?
[And return to the backroom of Babylon.]
Ted: Uh, it's amazing how a few changes can turn an entire old room into a fresh enviting space.
[Cut back to the babies room.]
Ben: Or we can brough paper, remember how Marty and Iliah have their kidsroom paper with Disney characters.
[Babylon backroom.]
Brian: And get a cleaning crew and jack-off the drive cum from the floor.
Ted: Yeah, it's probably yours.
[Cut to Ben and Michael. They're walking down the stairs.]
Michael: Wow, which all this space we're won't talk much to each other.
Ben: Unless we choose to be.
[Ted and Brian also walking down the stairs.]
Brian: I want to re-open by friday.
Ted: Friday? THIS friday!? But that's impossible.
Brian: But you've said everything is there when they're closed and we're loosing money.
Ted: Yeah, but we still need to hire a bartender, go-go boys and a manager.
Brian: Well, better line them up.
[Ben and Michael open another empty room.]
Michael: There is so much to do.
Ben: Well they used 500 years to built Notre Dam.
Michael: Is this suppose to encouraging?
Ben: We're making a home together, who cares how long it takes?
[Liberty Diner. Emmett talk with his cell phone.]
Emmett: Is there a problem with the change color? And the napkins. And the flowers...
[Michael and Ted are looking at Em.]
Emmett: And the menu... I don't know, we can change the groom. OK. [he hangs up.]
Michael: Who's that?
Emmett: Huh, a wedding an Alien with a predator. The groom is the producer of the Chanel 4 six clock news. The big news is when I'm survive. The bride is a drama queen and she's convinced that this will be a desaster... and believe me if she doesn't get off my ass they're maybe.
Ted: It can't be worse than Mel and Lindsay anniversuary surprise.
Michael: No shit.
Emmett: No, honey, you can't yourself let go.
[Deb screams in the backroom.]
Debbie: I can't your f*cking pants on and I take your order as fast as I can!
Emmett: Of course I realise that never been possible.
[Deb serves their orders.]
Deb: Hey boys. I'm making Cheeseburger for Michael, bon-pie for Em and a TLB for Teddy. All the bacon are breath meal.
Michael: You try to keep in shape for your new boyfriend?
Emmett: He's adorable.
Ted: Yeah, he's history. He jack's off the fotos of Jack Kennedy. He said he's nothing in mind if I gain a few pounds. That's why he was in love with me. A fat old man turn him on.
Emmett: Teddy, you're not fat. [Ted looks to Em.] Well, not that fat.
Michael: And your certainly not old.
[A half naked guy comes to their table.]
Man: Excuse me, sir! SIR!
[Ted looks at him.]
Man: Babylon re-opens friday night. [to Em and Michael] See you guys.
[he leaves the table.]
Ted: He called me sir. He spoke loudly, so I could hear.
Michael: I thoughed Babylon is belly up.
Emmett: You mean, you didn't know? Tell him, Teddy.
[Brian appear and sits beside Michael.]
Brian: I resetated with my mouth on it.
Michael: so that's how you suppose to spend your income? You should brough a house.
Brian: Some of us queers need dancing and f*cking to kiddies and and picked fances.
Emmett: Well, poppers is no house receipt.
Brian: Friday night poppers is back to be the pisshole how it was.
[At Mel and Linds. Michael is here with a present. A plush bear with Michaels voice. It says, "Hi, JR. You're daddy loves you."]
Michael: There is a new place in the mall. They design a bear of yourself and pick up their outfits and recorded your voices.
Lindsay: [to carry Jenny] It's adorable.
Mel: Precious.
Lindsay: You have to forgive Mel, she's been up all night with JR.
Mel: She has collics for 4 hours straight.
Michael: Look, I want to be apologize for getting so heated the other night. There was a shock, that's all. I wasn't expecting...
Lindsay: We know. No-one was.
Michael: Although when I remember all the time I stop by one of you was always out or work or taking a nap... Anyway sorry.
Mel: You've said that.
Michael: I mean after all that time you to together...
Mel: Thank you very much, we're sorry to, but if you don't mind I don't discuss with you our married problems.
Michael: The important thing is we need to decide how we gonna take care of our child.
Mel: OUR child!?
Michael: How much time she'll spend with you and with Linds and Ben and me. We're buying a new house.
Mel: How much time she spend with you is none!
Lindsay: Melanie please, would you lower your voice? I'm sure we can handle this without screaming.
Mel: Who's screaming? I'm making a point.
Michael: We had an agreement, that I'll be a part of our daughters live.
Mel: Yeah, which no time is included the custody. That never discussed.
Michael: That's how we made it, your two together, a couple, a family. No all that changed, now you're not.
Mel: Why? I'm still her mother.
Lindsay: So am I.
Michael: And I'm her father.
Lindsay: No one's denying that.
Michael: She is! She's saying that I have no rights.
Mel: No, I'm saying you may be her father, her biological father, but Lindsay and I were still her parents. That hasn't changed. Now, if you'll excuse me - MY daughter needs to be feed.
[Emmett at his horror job - a very difficult lady and the producer of the News. They discuss the wedding day.]
Emmett: OK, the bible and a toast with a glass of Chateu 1991...
Lila: Make that 1990.
Emmett: 1990. Well a voilin quartett plays a medley of your favourite Elton John songs...
Lila: I decided to go with "Eine kleine Nachtmusik".
Emmett: As well, I will tell the men... Now, when the wedding march begins, you're keeping on wedding march? Of course, you enter from over there [he points at the left side]
Lila: Why not over here?
Emmett: You enter from over here, holding a spray of lillies...
Lila: I thinking out of white roses and a babies breath.
Emmett: OK, then you proceed through the palor...
Lila: Um, when if it rains?
Don: I already ask Johnny, no rain.
Lila: Your weatherman couldn't see a hurricane if it bl*wing down the markets street.
Don: I go back to station. I got work to do.
Lila: Work? Squire your work! We're having a wedding!
Emmett: No, no, don't you worry. I'm gonna have a little talk to God. And there is no way He's gonna let anything rain on your parade.
Lila: Uh, the ladies room! We're haven't decide the colour of the toilet issue... mint, oh no... [she's walking away.]
Don: I wish you could see Lila under less stressful conditions. She's driving me nuts but I love her.
Emmett: Well, of course you do. That it's what all about.
Don: You know, I had it to and I don't know how you're do it.
Emmett: One of the reasons we're q*eer guys around. Help you boys straight people straight live.
[LA. Justin at Brett Keller. He's leaving and his man is packing his stuff.]
Brett: Drew, make sure you pack my swim suits and t-shirts. It's some hot in Australia.
Drew: Yes, sir.
Brett: Anyway, they're fired him. Three days end of the production. First time director huge production, he couldn't handle it. Also hear, he and Orlando Bloom did not get along. [to his head-set] Oh, Blair, I want that trainer in my hotel every morning at 5 am. Well, call the producer and f*cking demand it.
Justin: How long you've be goin?
Brett: Well, it's a six months sh**t from the planing. Where the hell is my ambian? A 18 hour flight it's the only way of live. Listen, I don't throw you out or anything but I figured while I was gone it was a good time to do some work at the house and redecorate. But please feel free to stay if a couple of days till you got something else.
Justin: Thanks.
Brett: Even I live at the other side of world I haven't lost my passion for Rage. My developing people make shopping around, the gay crusaders is too powerful for defeaded by some assh*le who can't see at the box office, right?
[Michael and Ben at Ben's home.]
Michael: I can't get it how she talk to me.
Ben: But you're the father.
Michael: But I'm not the parent, well as far as Melanie concerned.
Ben: Oh, that's bullshit, you're be as much a parent than she is.
Michael: She hurt her. She's screaming so loud she woke up the baby. I know we can provide JR more than they can.
Ben: I'm sure you're right. But the one think we must think to do not over-react, stay calm and rush enable..
Michael: Nobody keeps telling me that! Right, I'll be calm and rush enable. There is no way I'm giving up my kid.
[Babylon. Ted give a call to the work mens.]
Ted: Finish those lights and open the doors. Could you move those cartoons behind the bar?
bartender: Yes, sir.
Ted: And don't call me sir!
Emmett: Hey baby. Ready to shake our bodies?
Ted: Emmett, I don't figured to see you here. I though you're to busy with the wedding plane.
Emmett: Well, I'm never to busy on opening night.
Alonso: Ready in 2 minutes.
Emmett: Ted, what we have over here?
Ted: Uh, Emmett, this is Alonso. This is Emmett. Alonso is the new club manager.
Emmett: And may I say this is only one improvement to the formerly one.
Brian: Well, this is much fun at the toys, just right the director said.
Emmett: I can't afford that and I can live only what god gave me.
Alsonso: OK boys, take your places. Let's bring the lights down.
Ted: And we're back in business.
Brian: One think I'm missing. [he give a call and the music begins.] OK boys and now...
Ted and Emmett: It's showtime!
[But instead a large group of horny, gay men only a few, mostly older guys come through the door.]
Brian: What in the f*ck...
Ted: Don't worry, it's still early. [to Emmett] Where are the boys?
Emmett: It's short night at Poppers. All the hooker is over there. I think I'll go over and check it out.
[In a club in LA. Justin looking forwards and recognize a familiar face. It's the actor Shawn.]
Justin: Shawn!
Shawn: Hey, I didn't think you're still in town. [to his newest trick] This is Justin and so is this.
Justin: Seems that no shortage of it in Hollywood.
Shawn: [to the trick Justin] Can you get me another drink?
Justin: He's cute.
Shawn: If you like the type. It really sucks about Rage, isn't it?
Justin: Yeah, it really sucks.
Shawn: I swear that here's not integrity in town.
Justin: I thoughed you go back to New York to theater.
Shawn: I wouldn't be a heartbreak when I work with Bruckheimer. So, where's our genius director?
Justin: He left yesterday for Australia.
Shawn: I heard he make this remake about Manthra? Well, there isn't a Brett Keller film unless something rise.
Justin: He still planing on doin' Rage though. His people are shopping by the other studios when it's turn about.
Shawn: Justin, turn around.
Justin. Right, his lawyers make the rest.
Shawn: Yeah, but in this business doin' everything that rising you from the death is marveless. Well, but sometimes it's over. It's over.
[The other Justin have brough another drink. Shawn prosit to Justin and leave.]
[Liberty Diner. A crushed Brian is siting at the bar.]
Debbie: I hear you gave an orgy and nobody came.
Brian: Oh, I love how you can stale and make it fresh. Could you do the same for this muffin?
Debbie: What the f*ck's with you?
Brian: Guess how many h*m* showed up last night for the re-opening to Babylon?
Debbie: Wasn't yesterday not lightball night?
Brian: Twelve. I count them. Twelve. 8 f*cking grand down the grave. I must do something quick or else it would be another re-opening night tonight and tomorrow night and the next night.
Debbie: Sounds like a expensive blowjob.
Brian: I wouldn't mind if even that.
Debbie: But where they're all go?
[Just as that 3 tricks are coming in and siting at the table.]
Debbie: Where you're boys were all night?
Trick#1: Poppers.
Debbie: Poppers! That dumb of a club?
Trick#2: Only club there is.
[Debbie take the old muffin and throw at the three - and she's h*t one boy.]
Debbie: You all people should know, there's no figurable than a f*g.
[At Mel's home, formerly Mel and Lindsay's home. Mel just finished feeding JR. Lindsay rushes in.]
Lindsay: Sorry I'm late. The women in front of me had a stack of coupons. Hey sweety. [she's welcome Gus]
Gus: Hi mami.
Lindsay: Did you have fun with mama?
Gus: Yeah.
Lindsay: Here's the meds.
Mel: Thanks.
Lindsay: OK baby boy, gather your toys it's time to go back.
Gus: But I don't wanna go.
Lindsay: Have you ever go through this all the time?
Mel: It's ok, sweety. I'll see you tomorrow. You're mummy came to me,ok?
Lindsay: How's JR?
Mel: Up all night, screaming.
Lindsay: Why didn't do take her?
Mel: You can't be up all night and look after Gus like all day.
Lindsay: You exhausted.
Mel: Don't worry about me, ok? I can handle it.
Lindsay: No-one say you couldn't.
Mel: Then don't start.
Lindsay: I'm not starting anything. Just wish we could...
Mel: Make up?
Lindsay: Get along.
Mel: [looking at the mail] Shit!
Lindsay: What is it?
Mel: That little f*ck hired a lawyer.
[Cut to Debbies house. Michael and Ben are carrying an old chair.]
Michael: His name is Bobby Venet.
Debbie: I heared he were married with Hugh Haffner.
Michael: That's Bob Ventin. This is a though gay laywer.
Ben: She picked the first adoption in Pennsylvenia for the surprime court and won.
Michael: Yeah, she said as JR father I have rights and I should fight for them.
Debbie: No! [to the chair] I don't like there.
Ben: So, she's agreed to take our chase.
Debbie: I'm glad to see your standing up for yourself. I'm sorry it had come to this.
Michael: They don't leave me any choice.
Ben: Is this the spot for the chair, Deb?
Debbie: I found it in the garbage. But Carl needs a chair.
[She's taking a blanket and wear it over the chair.]
Debbie: There, that's better, huh?
Ben: Oh yeah, much better.
Michael: I'm not gonna let my daughter be raised by a couple of single mothers.
Ben: When there's a loving stay home with their fathers.
[Debbie hears it and gets angry.]
Debbie: Single mothers? You just said, single mothers... you mean, like me?
Michael: I wasn't telling about you, I wasn't even thinking about you.
Debbie: Yeah, but someone was. But I was a single mother and guess what? Even without a father you still have enough sense to come out of the rain, sometimes.
Michael: That was NOT what I were talking about! Christ sakes, you stop torpedoing?
Debbie: Who's been torpedoing?
Ben: No, all we've saying...
Debbie: I know what you've said, I speak the language. But thank you very much. You think there were 2 of you would better raise a kid. But let me tell you two expert something. Not every one is fortunately to have a partner and enough money to stay home and raise their kids. Some of us had to work, night and day! Sometimes 2 shifts after the row until f*cking morning, so that their kids can have sneakers and jeans and walkman's and go to the movies just like all their friends. And while we're out there we just hoping and praying to god that they don't getting sick or get in trouble! But we had no choice. We can make whatever sacrifies to our kids happyness. So, when you two thing you can make it better? All I gotta say is... good for you!
[At the hairdresser. Ted is there and a q*eer barber is there.]
Barber: I almost didn't recognize you since gain doll of weight!
Ted: It's not that much.
Barber: I wish I can gain weight like that. I try and I try and I eat and I eat but no matter what I do I can't keep it on.
Ted: Pity...
Barber: Chocolate?
Ted: No, diet.
Barber: Oh, and it's already working. You're hair is getting thinner.
Ted: Look, whatever else is going on, I always had a healthy hair.
Barber: Well, I hate to contradict, Mr.Schmidt, but the mirror has only one face and you're looking at it.
[He takes a mirror and show it to Ted.]
Ted: Shit! I'm getting bald! What do I do? Whad do I do?!
Barber: Well, there is a doubet day.
[An 60-year-old guy is siting behind them and has heared the conversation.]
Man: There is no use fighting it, sweetheart. I'm afraid age is the last trick on earth to fix that up. But after it f*ck us it doesn't leave. So when I were you I stop singing the title song from poor man and excepted it.
Ted: Then what? Die?
Man: Come to Palm Springs. Poor yourself a martini and google the mexican boys.
Barber: Now, what shall we do with this? Some old, some bald?
[We're at the "perfect wedding" day. A hyper nervous bride driving nuts.]
Emmett: Oh, no matter what I do I'm getting wet in my eyes.
Lila: What if everybody's getting sneezing? I told you, we should have an endow...!
Emmett: Only sneezy are getting joy for the love of the pride.
Lila: I should think we had left my hair down. My face looks too round, doesn't it?
Emmett: It the perfect frame for the perfect picture.
Don: You hear that honey?
Lila: It's all an illusion. Does that rain clouds?
Emmett: I think it's time for the wedding toast.
Don: You need to relax.
[A waiter brings them two cup of red wine.]
Don: For my beautiful bride. From now on you're my moaning, special gift.
Lila: Don, what a beautiful toast.
[They toast each other and suddenly the red wine are over the white dress of the bride.]
Lila: Oh, my god! Oh, my god! I told you something get wrong, didn't I told you that it would be a desaster?! My glove! Look at me! How can I go out there? I can't. It's ruined. Everything it's ruined. [She cries hysterical.]
Emmett: Take it off.
Lila: What!?
Don: Take it off!
[Emmett give her a trenchcoat and runs with the dress in the kitchen.]
Emmett: I need a soup pod and two bottle of Beaudeur, please!
Don: You want cook something now!? It's a hell of a time to make it two minutes before our wedding!
[Emmett pours the two bottle in the pod. At the last he throw the dress in there.]
Lila: WHAT THE f*ck ARE YOU DOING!?
Emmett: Ssssh!
[At Lindsay's flat. Brian is there and plays with Gus locomotive. Lindsay slams the refrigerator.]
Lindsay: Just because I didn't care it doesn't mean I'm not a mother too.
Brian: You see the chu-chu go around, sonnyboy? See it? Sure as fun. But after a while it could be a senseless, tragical desaster!
[Just said the locomotive derails.]
Brian: Oh my god. You see that?
Lindsay: Brian, what are you doin''?
Brian: I just teaching my son to have fun.
Lindsay: I wish you would listening what I'm saying.
Brian: Just because I didn't care it doesn't mean I'm not a mother too?
Lindsay: I was there and stand in her way, pregnating her, coaching her, taking care of her. I even helped to delivery.
Brian: So, who says you're not?
Lindsay: Michael. He's petitioning my custody and 50% physical custody.
Brian: What the hell he thinks he is? The father?
Lindsay: We had an agreement. He was always be part of the babies life. But Mel and I raise her.
Brian: Together.
Lindsay: It doesn't make differents. We're still the same people, we're still Jenny-Rebeccas parents.
Brian: Well, he seems to feel diferently.
Lindsay: Only Mel are reasonable.
Brian: Melanie? Our little Melanie? Reasonable?
Lindsay: She still try to forced him out. Now, when he goes through I'm the one who forced out. Cause I'm the one with legal rights.
Brian: [to Gus] Looks like your mommie it's quite in predicament.
Lindsay: You're damnright she is. I can't believe what a mess my life become.
Brian: You want money?
Lindsay: What I need is that you talked to him. You're his best friend.
Brian: Hey Gus, it's ok, sonnyboy. We will get back on track.
[Back on the wedding. Emmett dries the dress. It's now pink.]
Emmett: I'll guess that now should do it. Wear that please.
[He takes pink flowers and put a few in the wedding bunch.]
Emmett: There. Now you have a perfect bouquet.
[All the worker are applauds Emmett.]
Emmett. Thank you, thank you. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Lila: You're a genius.
Emmett: I'm not a genius, well a little less then genius. See, back in Hazelhurst when I was a boy my momo wear my a white pants for church. Well, before we got there I still see some boy in the car there and end up in the morast. My mom was just about the wood me. She picked a juice and it looks fabulous for the church. Now we're turn a desaster into something beautiful. Now you two walk to the isle and get married.
[The wedding march. Emmett looks at them and sneezed.]
[Hard cut to Poppers. Hot boys, hot music. Emmett with his trick.]
Emmett: C'mon honey, there's no backroom here. Let's go to my place.
[Brian in enemy place.]
Brian: Well, you must then. But there's a backroom in Babylon.
Emmett: Brian, hey, hey. We're... we're planing to drop by later.
Brian: Why not now? Where all the folks?
Emmett: Look, there's not my folks, everybody moved on. All the hot guys come here now. Well, not that one. [he looks to a strange men with blonde hair.] Gee, look at him. The same old tired man who tried to hold on...
[He's looking closer. The camera zoomt to his face - it's...]
Emmett: Teddy?
[Brian and Emmett looks to each other and smiles. Emmett goes away but Brian goes to him.]
Brian: Nice cut, Theodore.
Ted: Brian, what are you doing here?
Brian: Checking out the competition.
Ted: Me too.
Brian: Is that why you're in discuss?
Ted: It's... my new look.
[Some guy checking out Brian.]
Ted: I was try to something newer, tipper.
Brian: I'm trying to bring them back to Babylon, not scare them away.
[The trick opens Brian zipper on his pants.]
Ted: Well, do it fast or you gonna loose your pants.
Brian: Mine was start now.
[He goes away with his trick.]
[Cut to Brian's loft. Sunshine opens the door. He take down his bag and goes to the bedroom. He's smiling as we see through the slit that Brian isn't alone. He's f*cking his new trick from Poppers.]
Brian: [just as he came] You're here? How was your flight?
[Justin only can smile.]
[Cut to a crying JR and a nervous Melanie. She's swing JR on her arms and try to calm her down.]
Mel: Ok, let's try this again.
[Someone knocks on the door. Melanie answer it.]
Debbie: Christ, what's goin' on in here? You can hear her crying around three blocks.
Mel: Colic. She's been up all night.
Debbie: Oh, she had that from Michael. Come here honey.
[Debbie takes JR on her arms.]
Debbie: Try that what I'm used to do at Michael.
Mel: Look, you really shouldn't been here. Considering he wants to sue my custody.
Debbie: He still haven't learned, heaven't you? We have a child, not a problem. You got have water bottle?
Mel: In the kitchen, I think.
Debbie: Good, with warm water.
[Cut later. Debbie sit down, with JR on her arms and the water bottle on her stomach. She's still crying, but a little lesser.]
Mel: Debbie, I know it's your granddaughter and I appreciate your help but...
Debbie: But...? What?
Mel: Until this things settle down...
Debbie: I concerned what's all it is. I'm caring your three. It's almost like the bible, you know with Salomon.
[JR is asleep.]
Debbie: But the bottom line, I say the baby should stay with her mother.
Mel: You do?
Debbie: Maybe it's because I'm a mother, a single mother. And anyone who isn't nor has been hasn't a f*cking clue how tough it is and that includes my son. So I do a little help in here.
Mel: Thank you for being on my side.
[Liberty diner, where all the boys and Debbie hears the fantastic life of Justin in LA.]
Justin: I hate the life in LA. The wheater never changes, all anybody talkes about is the business. If you don't have a project we're unvisible.
Emmett: Yeah, yeah, as the same as everywhere. The guys, are hot?
Justin: Yeah, but after a while they all start to look the same. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect body.
Ben: Sounds perfect awful.
Justin: And you cannot try anyone or believe anything that anybody ever says. Everybody looking out for themselves and their careers.
Ted: Sounds exactly what I'm hear about L.A.
[Said Ted who's siting at the counter. He's eating some cake.]
Ted: What a show, superficial assholes desperately tring to be or not.
Ben: Yeah, I guess it's good.
Debbie: I can't honey. It's at the counter. Help yourself. You're lucky that you're in one piece, baby.
Michael: So much about "Rage - the movie".
Ted: So much about "Rage - the money".
Ben: It's ok, we'll be fine.
Justin: You know, it's not the way they make it. Ben, you're right. By the time they finished it Rage would round up straight.
Michael: At least we have the comic. Our comic.
Debbie: And most important, you're back where you belong.
Emmett: Yeah, what you're gonna do now, baby?
Justin: I haven't so much change to be.
Debbie: Don't you worry baby, you're old job is still waiting for you. You can start buss table anytime you will.
[Debbie kisses sunshine at his cheek. She's leaving.]
Ted: Now, how like your turk now?
[At the television studio. Emmett show up and goes to the formerly groom, the executive producer Don.]
Don: Emmett, welcome to Chanel 5 news. Everybody still talking about where Lila have that dress and that beautiful colour.
Emmett: Well, that it's all right. Is anything I can do for you? You're next wedding. [he giggles.]
Don: Actually there is. I watch you day after day during that whole wedding.
Emmett: You did?
Don: And I have a proposition to make.
Emmett: You do?
Don: I want you, Emmett.
Emmett: Oh man, what is that about the straight man. I'm very flattert but you're a married man now...
Don: What you're talkin'? You don't think I'm... [he laughs] Please, no.
Emmett: But you says, you wanted me.
Don: For the news team.
Emmett: As what? Sports commentators? Weather fay? I think you're terribly dissappointed.
Don: Listen up, I tell you q*eer is very hot right now. Everybody wants the gay prospective. What the gays think about fashion, cooking, decorating? Like you said that gaves us straight a little twist.
Emmett: And you want me to...
Don: To do a new segment. First the gay point of view. Give us some tips. Do some make-overs.
Emmett: But I've never...
Don: After the magic you performed at the wedding you can do anything. You're the chanel 5's q*eer guy.
[Brian is standing at the empty Babylon and looking through some papers. Michael's shown up.]
Michael: Without those lights and the music and the hot guys it's just a room, isn't it?
Brian: It's all an illusion. And nothing but cheep the attics. Sorry about your baby.
Michael: Jenny?
Brian: Rage.
Michael: Oh, that. Right now I've got more important things to think about. So why the urgent message on my cell?
Brian: [long pause] I want you to leave Melanie and Lindsay alone. They're have enough shit to work out right now without your sick and bulldog, or should I say d*ke lawyer.
Michael: What the f*ck business it's about yours when I hire a lawyer? Who the f*ck are you...?
Brian: I'm Gus's father, that's the f*ck I am.
Michael: Yeah to loose a ball before you knew he was alive!
[Michael think about the last sentence while Brian looks straight in his face.]
Michael: I'm sorry that was a phrase for a mark. It's just... because you're parents son too. I thoughed you understand.
Brian: What I understand is when you get through to this, Lindsay's the one who left out. She's the one who get's f*cked over.
Michael: Well, then she had thoughed about that before she cheated on Mel and lie to me.
Brian: Christ, would you give it a rest already? We all now the story.
Michael: Why do you stop defending her for a change and try to defending me, your best friend. Right now the best thing for Jenny-Rebecca is to be with Ben and me. In a s*ab home, not pass back and forward by that babbling lesbians.
[Michael starts to go.]
Brian: When did you change?
Michael: What?
Brian: When you become this higher saint judging twit?
Michael: It's not "when did I change". The point is, why havent't you. Stop be over the hill club boy and grow up.
Brian: Oh, now I'm the object of your disapproval too. Since you and the professor get married in f*cking Canada you move from the Liberty Avenue like the other heterosexuals and that gives you suddenly the right to make pronounces on everybodies life? Then welcome to the other side of the perfect marriage, Mikey. It's called gay divorced. f*g and d*ke can f*ck up their lives just like the rest of the world.
Michael: I'm just try to do what's best of my daughter and protect my rights. I'm sorry you can't see that.
[At Ted's home. Ted's watching himself in the mirror. He's checking his face, his belly, his little hair. He must interrupted that for the doorbell. It's Emmett.]
Emmett: Just call me ... the q*eer guy.
Ted: Want you to call hope the catholic guy?
Emmett: Don, the producer of the chanel 5 news at those wedding wants me to join the news team. I'm returning to the camera. This time with my clothes on! I'm the chanel 5's q*eer guy. Cheering tips, making clips and showing Pittsburgh how to be fabulous.
Ted: Start by showing me. My hair, my face. God, I look like a sharp head.
Emmett: There is nothing wrong with the way you look.
Ted: Would you stop being friend and be honest?
Emmett: I am been honest! C'mon here. Come here.
[He's leading him to the mirror.]
Emmett: Look at yourself. Your true self. The self that kicked crystal. The complete the Liberty Ride, that a great job, your turned your life around, Teddy. And I've been very, very proud of you, practically a hero. Who cares if you weight a few pounds or have a few character lines? Stop looking at the shove and see the pearl.
Ted: [long pause] You're right, Em. You so right.
Emmett: I do doin' good, did I? Well, those q*eer guy need to the gym and get some beauty rest. See you baby.
Ted: Thanks, Em. Hey, you're gonna make a great q*eer guy. You already are.
Emmett: Can't help it!
[Ted goes to his telephon and dials a number. He look at the newspaper to an add "re new - cosmetic surgeons".]
Ted: Hi, yes. My name is Ted Schmidt and I like to see the doctor.
[At Michael's comic book store. Mel enters the enemy territorium.]
Michael: I'm right be with you. My attourney advise my not talking to you.
Mel: Well, I'm a attourney too and I know she's over the causes. After all we're friends. A family.
Michael: Are we?
Mel: I'm sure we can work this out. Save us a lot grieves and legal expenses with goes to lawyer who didn't want that we talked about it. Look, I admit I over-reacted. I've just been protective, the way any mother would. You can understand that.
Michael: It's obviously.
Mel: There is no question that you are part of Jenny-Rebecca's life. It's just she's so young. She's still breath feeding. So I was thinking that later on the road when she's 4 or 5 she can spend some time with you and Ben. I think that's perfectly reasonable, don't you?
Michael: How dumb do you think I am? No, don't answer that - I can imagine. First you tell me I have no rights, which isn't true. I have as much rights as you do. Now you try to get me agree up until she's 4 or 5. Sorry Mel, I'm not backing off.
Mel: I can't believe you're doin' this. After we stood right here in your store and agree that you could be the father instead of a sperm donator.
Michael: And why want you let me have her?
Mel: Because you don't know a shit about raisin' a baby. Even your own mother agrees.
Michael: My mother?
Mel: Yeah, she think you beheaving like an assh*le!
Michael: Oh really? You know what? I don't give a shit what my mother thinks. Jenny-Rebecca is my daughter too and I'm going to join custody.
Mel: You go ahead and try. But let my tell you, you're not up against one angry mother and lesbian, you're up against one pissed-off lawyer.
[At Brian's loft. Brian and Justin are have sex. After this sex scene both are naked in bed.]
Brian: So, was that all you remembered?
Justin: Even more. What about you?
Brian: It was... okay.
Justin: Just okay? It was great. See it was great. See it was great.
[Both laughs.]
Brian: It was great, it was great. I thoughed you're never coming back. Why would you?
Justin: I can't imagine.
[Justin stands up and Brian light up a cigarette. Then he reach down and got a sketch from Justin at his hand.]
Brian: What's this?
Justin: It's one of my storyboards for the movie.
Brian: It's good.
Justin: Thanks.
Brian: What?
Justin: Nothing. I told everyone how shitty it was there. How stupid everyone was. The truth is I loved it. It was hot, it was fun, it was exciting. We could changed the world with the first gay superhero. Now it's over.
Brian: No, you're back. It must quite down the trouble.
Justin: You still think Pittsburgh has what Hollywood hasn't?
[They kiss each other.]
Justin: Well, if the offers still stands.
[Brian opens the shelf - it's empty. Just as that waited for Justin to moved back in. Fade to black.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "05x02 - Back in Business"} | foreverdreaming |
[Babylon. We begin with a bizarre show. A kinda Sadomaso performance at stage. When it's finished only a few f*g applauds. A crushed Brian goes to the bar.]
Justin: Buy you a drink?
Brian: Great news, I'm already done.
Ted: Hey tomorrow nights it's the two bucks special. That makes... uh [he's looking around]... at least six bucks.
Brian: I've bought a full page ad, I put cards behind every shop in Liberty Avenue, I've had even f*cking go-go boys in speedos passing out flyers.
Justin: Promotion like that there find out at every block.
Ted: Oh, they are ... at Poppers.
[The sadomaso performer cames up, slam his lash at the bar.]
Man: Drinks on the house! We're wasting our time AND our talent.
Justin: I don't get it why everyone left.
Ted: That's one of the great mysterious of life. Why does queers go to one club and don't get in the other.
[The next morning at the park. It's raining. Mel runs to the bench, where Linds waiting for her.]
Mel: Oh, I know I'm late. Sorry.
Lindsay: Don't worry about it.
Mel: Oh, how is my sweety?
Lindsay: Oh, like a light.
Mel: How much do you give her? [Linds looks straight in her eyes.] That was a joke.
Lindsay: What does Jacobs got to say?
Mel: Michael doesn't get a f*cking chance of proving to be a better parent than me. And the judges always favourite the mother. Look to Hunters mother for Christ sakes.
Lindsay: Well, in that case it's a relief.
Mel: Yeah, but there is one more thing. He thinks it's the best when I go to the meeting alone.
Lindsay: And why is that?
Mel: It would be more complicated between the birth-father and the birth-mother.
Lindsay: But I don't think it's to good.
Mel: Actually you can be complicated my case.
Lindsay: Your case? We were life partner for 10 years.
Mel: And now we're devorced lesbians. Not even devorcing why make it more complicated?
Lindsay: But what about me?
Mel: But you and I have the same arrangement than we have now. We spend equal time, same with Gus. That won't change. You just have to trust me.
[A pissed Lindsay at Brian's ad company.]
Lindsay: She said she's talked with her lawyer over and decided it would the best for me not to be there when she's talking with Michael and his lawyer. [Brian looking through some papers] She says the fact that we're not be together would be complicase and give Michael some ignition. But I think I have as much right to be there as she do, even if I'm not the biological mother.
[Brian shows her the papers that he's looking through.]
Brian: See there? It's a new ad compain for they're new sixteen out sandwhich. How do you like, "When you're hungry for a big cock?" [Lindsay looking to him, speechless.] Yeah, they didn't like it either. So what does Melanie say?
Lindsay: She said I should trust her. And once everything is saddled she would share her to me. We have a deal.
Brian: The way she had a deal with Michael?
Lindsay: I wanna believe her. I do. I tried to be fair with the kids.
Brian: Then stop bitching yourself and do something.
Lindsay: I always count on you for the cold, hard truth.
[Brian writing something at a little paper.]
Brian: Here.
Lindsay: Who's he?
Brian: The lawyer is a friend of mine. I give him a call first. Stop worying about the costs.
Lindsay: I'll guess I have no choice.
Brian: I guess not. In a messy divorce nobody standing clean.
[Justin help to paint in Michaels and Ben's new house.]
Justin: When I was in LA and thinking I come back to Pittsburgh I wouldn't imagine I paint like this.
Michael: Hey, I tell you what. You can sign the wall.
Ben: We really appreciate your help. Some day when you and Brian get a house we turn the favore.
Justin: Don't run to the paint store.
Ben: Well I don't know. I guess I never did...
Michael: Put trash in the attics?
Ben: ...carried you over the threshold. That's what married people do, right Justin?
Justin: I wouldn't know.
Michael: Why don't you to carried you over the threshold?
Ben: You wanna try?
[Michael tries but can't even raise a leg of Ben. He carried Michael to the door.]
Ben: Oh, c'mon hon.
Michael: Jesus Ben!
Ben: Now it's official.
Michael: Let me down.
[Just as they do Debbie arrives.]
Debbie: Hey what's goin' on? Hey sunshine! I thoughed maybe you boys... you men could use some lunch. So I broughed some cheese steak for my son-in-law.
Ben: Oh, thanks Deb.
Debbie: Wow, this place is really shaving up, huh? You know what would great on the wall?
Ben: Maybe some paint?
Debbie: My favourite cat painting, huh? From my living room. I've been saving that for you, honey.
[A pissed Michael goes to Debbie.]
Michael: I'll take these in the kitchen.
Debbie: What's up in his ass?
Ben: Why you find out?
Debbie: I'll leave that to you.
[In the kitchen. Michael got a plate for Debb's lunch.]
Debbie: You might me thanking for the sandwhiches.
Michael: Thanks.
Debbie: You're welcome. And why I haven't heard from you a week?
Michael: I've been kinda busy.
Debbie: Don't open up your mouth! I just asking. [she's looking in the refrigerator] You need to stalk up. I can go to the grocery...
Michael: Better go. Why you don't stalk up Melanie's refrigerator?
Debbie: Why the hell would I do that?
Michael: You told you agree with her. You're on her side. My own mother!
Debbie: What I said was, I was not on anyone side. Think of me like Switzerland.
Michael: Well the same for n*zi gold?
Debbie: For the neutral. All I care about is that kid.
Michael: So do I. That's why I want her to a loving home with two parents. Why is that so hard to comprehend?
Debbie: I try to comprehend is how angry we've been all these years for being a single mom. And you looking me in my eyes and say we're fine. The two musketeers. Apparently not. Well, I'm sorry I couldn't give you all what you want, but I gave you everything I could.
[In Brian's ad company.]
Ted: You are the luckiest f*ck' in Pittsburgh.
Brian: Is that the reason the bugging my office?
Ted: I find you a buyer.
Brian: Hurray! What am I selling?
Ted: Babylon. A consortium wants to built a gallery and a buy you a really nice price. Well aren't you excited? Releaved? Over-joyed? I mean in another couple weeks you had to take loans from Kinnetic to pay for that club.
Brian: Yeah, unless I turned it around.
Ted: Not even Rage could managed that. Oh, and the beauty part is - we're write it off. You can use the free tax detuction.
Brian: Sounds like a good... practically advice. Just walk away and leave it to the welfares. And after they finished to turn Babylon to the wall of America then what? A wallmart, Torso into target? The diner into an gallery? I am sorry Theodore. I'm sure there are millions of f*g who like nothing more than to walk the street of straight instead of died in Liberty Avenue.
[Debbie's house. Horvarth comes from his shift and Debbie goes to her shift.]
Carl: Hey hon.
Debbie: Hi, sweetheart. How was your day?
Carl: Well take your cloth down for a while and I tell you all about it.
Debbie: Huh, I'm take a nappin and I'm late for my shift. It's sausage there but be careful.
[They kiss each other.]
Carl: When you will be back?
Debbie: Around one.
Carl: Perfect, I'm be sleep around 12.59. You know, when we decided to live together I actually though at the same time.
Debbie: You know, it's not only like this.
Carl: I didn't want to come home to sausage. I wanna come home to sausage and you.
Debbie: As soon as Betty is back from her surgery, I don't have to do the late shifts.
Carl: Why you have to do any shifts?
Debbie: What are you talking about?
Carl: You k*ll yourself at the diner every night on your feet. Why?
Debbie: That's what I do! That what I'm always done.
Carl: That doesn't mean you have to keep doin' it.
Debbie: Where got my money? Printed? You had arrest me.
Carl: I have money.
Debbie: Carl, I never have lived on anyone. I'm never ask for a dime and I don't starting now.
Carl: You're not asking. I'm offering. Sweetheart, you've been looking after other practically your whole life. You deserve a little time for yourself. For us.
[Chanel 5. The newsteam.]
Don: OK, everyone. I'd like you to meet Emmett Honeycut, our new q*eer guy.
Emmett: It's so excited here to meet you all.
Don: Jake Emmerson, our news anchor.
Emmett: Oh my god, you're even hotter than in person, if that's possible.
Don: Mirie Jamasushi, our co-anchor.
Emmett: I'd loving your hair. It's so much flattering than the lucy red curl you had on the Monica Levinsky scandal.
Don: Don Lokert, sports.
Emmett: Hey bud, I love your show.
Don: And our wheater man...
Emmett: I swear by you. When you say it's rain the other day and all the other queens laughing at me when I bring umbrella, but though where laughs at the end? Yeah, me. Well it's the great be part of the team.
[After this meeting a crushed Emmett needs a crying shoulder. And that's... Ted... in the diner.]
Emmett: You should see how they looked at me. Like I was some alien from Uranus. You know what anyone says, it's an relief and come back to talk.
Ted: Yeah, I feel the same after a day at Worthshafter.
Emmett: Yeah, but you can pass for straight. My flames are always burns too bright and too high for that.
Ted: Man, can you head up my soup?
Emmett: You know, I always end up the bench.
[Cut to Debbie at the bar. Justin is coming to her.]
Debbie: f*ck!
Justin: What's wrong, Deb?
Debbie: It's just this g*dd*mn sign. I had write "Help" but aren't enough room for "Wanted" and not even to requirement.
Justin: Let me.
Debbie: Sure it helps with an artist in the family.
Justin: Who's leavin'? Betty? Kicky?
Debbie: Me.
Justin: You?
Debbie: What? It that so hard to believe?
Justin: You can't leave the diner, Debbie. You are the diner. Besides, what would we do without you?
Debbie: Still complaining you have cold soups. [to Ted] Don't think I didn't hear it!
Justin: Isn't something wrong, isn't it?
Debbie: Hmmm? Oh, hell, no. It's just hearing the last 25 years the boys complaining for not finding a man. Well, I finally found one. Except I never home with him. How dumb is that?
Justin: But what would you do?
Debbie: It's always some bright, new challenge. Some shining new adventure. Like you. You were in f*cking Hollywood.
Justin: But I came back to f*cking Pittsburgh. But what if you want to come back and you can't because someone has that place.
Debbie: Honey, when I'm gone, I'm gone. I donate my dress, say so long to the Liberty Diner, and hello Liberty. [she's looking at Justin's sketch.] Well, that's not a sign, that's work of art.
[At the evening in Brian's loft. Brian comes home and umbrace Justin, who's looking through some drawings.]
Brian: [to Justin's sketch] Not bad.
Justin: It's brilliant.
Brian: Yeah, your artists can never get an higher opinion of himself.
Justin: They're part of my final school project.
Brian: It still can.
Justin: It's too late.
Brian: Well, after Hollywood it's could be feel like prequel.
Justin: Another very good one. I'll take my time, look around, figure out what to do next.
Brian: I got it. How about a full-time carrier on Pittsburghs hottest advertice agency?
[Justin kisses Brian.]
Justin: Thanks, but it's time to make my own way in the world.
Brian: Just as well, since I hear the guy who loose his shirt...
Justin: I'm sure he survive like he always does. Beautify. You're goin' somewhere?
Brian: To the soon to be former Babylon. I can't let up the ship without the captain sink.
Justin: The club red took my in LA to hire to work with it. We're should go for f*g around three blocks and kick it in.
Brian: It must be a hell of a place.
Justin: It wasn't different than here.
Brian: Sunshine, how paid along without you?
Justin: You didn't.
[They go to the bed and Justin kisses Brian. Cut.]
[At the diner. Debbie gets some interview for her job. First an old woman.]
Woman: I was with a club for 12 years, then I did a 10 year job at Charlies... [she cough]... smokehouse. For the past 19 years I was in the food garden, helping to rest up.
Debbie: So why did you leave?
Woman: The owner died on his own burgers. [while she's laughing she must cough]
Debbie: Well, you certainly do qualify. So, I'll be in touch.
Woman: Thanks. Oh, by the way, is here a place where I can get some cigarettes?
Debbie: Yeah, Liberty Ricker, just right down the street.
[Justin and Ted are siting at the bar. Justin put the TV on.]
Justin: Hey Deb, it's almost time!
Debbie: I'm comin'!
Ted: Ready for the big premiere?
[Cut to Chanel 5 News.]
Jake Emmerson: Well, thanks. Now next to a guy, who's not exactly an normal man but hopefully he can score a few points with our viewers. Tonight we intruduced the newest member of the chanel 5 news team, offering life from different prospected - our very own q*eer guy.
Emmett: Thanks Jake, I'm Emmett Honeycutt - you're q*eer guy here to give you insides and tips on how you make your life more... better.
Debbie: [to Ted] You didn't tell me he was the q*eer guy for the 1700 club.
Emmett: So guys, I mean man, you brush your teeth, comb your hair, even splashed on your aftershafe. But didn't you forget something? That's right, we're talking about those perskin' nose hairs.
[Off the camera the anchor man lift his eyebrow, then he's looking to the sports man.]
Emmett: Nothing turns the ladies off than a jungle coming out of the nose.
[Cut back in the diner.]
Ted: Nose hairs? At his big opening number? I mean that's rediculous.
Debbie: I got it.
[A mid-age woman coming in the Diner. She's very shy.]
Woman: 'cuse me.
Debbie: Yeah, have a seat, hon. I'll get your order in a minute.
Woman: I'd like to apply for the job. In the window, it's says inquire to come in. So I'm inquiring here.
Debbie: Well, in that case step in to my office.
[She's siting at a table. Cut back to the TV.]
Emmett: "Next time, don't forget to snip. Back to you, Jake."
Jake: "Thank you, q*eer guy for that q*eer advice. Up next."
[A shocked Ted looks down.]
Loretta: My name's Loretta Pye. With an "Y".
Debbie: I'm Debbie, with an "ie". So Loretta, you've done waitressing?
Loretta: Well, when waitring on my husband count.
Debbie: Depends at the tips.
Loretta: Not too good. Other than that I didn't have much experience, but, uh, but now I'm need a job.
Debbie: Did your husband pass on?
Loretta: Um, I,,, he's much alive. He throw me out. He came home unexpectedly from job and caught me kissin' my friend Cheryl. We'll make cimmon buns - I mean it was a one time thing. I mean, she's married. She got three kids, it was spare the moment. I mean, we'll licking the icing spoon and one licking to another and... I should'nt told you all that. He says I always talked to much.
Debbie: You can say whatever you f*ck want. Well you all hear me. But um, work here isn't easy. You know, there is taking orders, bouncing places, make sure that the customers keep the pants on, literally.
Loretta: I'm a real fast learner. All my teachers at school used to say so. And I'll promised I'll work hard.
Debbie: Maybe so, honey.
Loretta: Ok, look - I know I don't have any qualificate for that job but it's just know I can't go at home. So please give me just one chance.
[With that she stands up, grab the coffee jar and pour Debbie some coffee in a glas.]
Loretta: Freshin' your coup?
[Debbie must smiling.]
[In a attorney room. Lindsay speaks with the lawyer, Brian advise her.]
Lawyer: Well it used to be call a mother was simple - it's the dear lady who birth you. She wipe your nose, she bake you br*wnings, and once a year she spends a special for thanking her sacrificing. But these days are small complicated. Biological mothers, birth-gave mother, lesbian mothers. Thanks for calling me. But get back to your case.
Lindsay: Well, I'm not sure I have one.
Lawyer: But I am, otherwise I'm wasting my time or Brian's money. In fact I'm seeing a good chance with all the details you've told me.
Lindsay: But you didn't wanna use what I'm told you, are you?
Lawyer: Everything we've discussed here is of course confidential. I were a fool and a lausy lawyer if I didn't.
Lindsay: You musn't. I said such aweful things about both of them.
Lawyer: But nothing the truth, I think.
Lindsay: I'm yes, but...
Lawyer: And we must prove that you have the same right to be Jenny-Rebecca's parents like they are and sharing the custody.
Lindsay: But Melanie is my partner.
Lawyer: Was.
Lindsay: And Michael is a dear close friend, who we're choosing to be the father.
Lawyer: But they betrayed you and now you can't trust them. That's why you come to me.
Lindsay: If I'm say these things, the things you want me to say,... [pause] they're wont forgive me. Never.
Lawyer: Well it's too late to worry about that. Besides, you need a lawyer.
[At the street, at night. Ted and Emmett going and some guys checking Emmett out.]
Emmett: Just see that?
Ted: What?
Emmett: I'm gettin' cruised, by everybody.
Ted: Is it ever occured you that it might be me?
Emmett: Would you cut it out? You're brave for your age. I mean for any age. Oh, I know. They must recognise me from the news. I underestimate the power of media.
Ted: I see how annoying it is what repeating it.
Emmett: Allright, Mr. Grumpling - you feel better when you go to Poppers.
Ted: You mean, you will. Nobody will see at me until I look 10 years younger.
Emmett: Hey, Poppers is this way.
Ted: Babylon is that way.
Emmett: But we don't wanna go to Babylon.
Ted: I said we're give Brian your help.
Emmett: Allright it shouldn't be long until we're out there
Ted: What's goin' on?
[In front of Babylon a huge line of man who wants to get in to Babylon. In front of it a bodyguard decide who will go in and who not.]
Guy: Hey, why I can't get in?
Brian: I'll let him in - on troll's tuesday.
Ted: Where all those guys coming from?
Brian: Well it seems that Babylon it's once again the place to be. Oh, it's shilly out here. Shall we go in?
Bodyguard: [to Emmett] Oh, not you.
Emmett: Excuse me, do you realise who I am? I'll be the chanel 5 "q*eer guy" which makes me a very important h*m* person.
Bodyguard: Each of us in a own way is unique and beautiful and special. But they didn't get in either.
[Inside of Babylon. The dance floor is empty like usual.]
Ted: There is nobody here.
[Brian give the man who's walking inside money.]
Brian: Here you go boys. 100 for you, 100 for you.
Ted: Your hired those guys?
Brian: You see the crowd out there.
Ted: The concept is we want people to come in.
Brian: What's the rush?
Justin: In LA they used that way.
Ted: That isn't LA.
Brian: Theodore, let me remain you something - f*g are no different than people. Tell them they can't have one thing and suddenly it's all they want. And they won't give up untill they get it. Now we show up outside and allowe more of the "beautiful" people to get in.
[Liberty Diner. Debbie watched over Loretta's first shift here. She served two meals.]
Loretta: Two special's.
[As she turns around Debbie mounts something to her. She turns around for...]
Loretta: Enjoy it. [she turns to Deb.] My knees are shaking, my nerves a wrack.
Debbie: You're doin' fine.
[From another table a very young snoob screaming.]
Man: Where's out food? I ordered it a year ago.
Loretta: It's up there and right by you. Oh god, which is which? They all look the same.
Debbie: It's a tuna, vegatable, cheese.
[She's serving this three meals but mixed up something.]
Loretta: Tuna, vegatable, cheese. Enjoy it.
Man: Hey, I don't want fries. I'm watching my cards. Bring me some slope.
Debbie: I recommend you an extra crush at the gym because we don't subistute your request. Enjoy it.
[they go a little bit aside of them.]
Debbie: Each of them are princess. And when they want it then you must say where they're stick her cephter at.
Loretta: I can't to that.
Man: Waitress!
Debbie: This is a diner, honey. It's k*ll or be k*ll.
Man: Waitress! Christ! Must I wait three days like those lemmon bars?
Loretta: [whispers to Deb.] k*ll or be k*lled.
Man: Well, you stand there pose than you can take my order.
Loretta: That'll be a milk shake, and a ball of chicken brough.
Man: Why do I want that?
Loretta: Because the next time you snap the fingers on me the only way to be able snap anything is through a straw!
[Loretta turns around a looks at a amazed Debbie.]
Debbie: I told you, you f*cking got it!
[The chancel 5 news team. Before the next show. The executive producers will speak with Emmett.]
Emmett: Don, Don, got a minute? I have an idea for my next segment. I'm starting like be a member of the team. I like to explore something of interested 40% of our market.
Don: Enlarge the prostata?
Emmett: Wearing brown shoes with black socks. A common fashion four pa that be easy can be correct.
Don: It's humiliation, huh. [he looks down at him. Obviously he's wearing those combination.]
Emmett: Except on some man, such as yourself who have the selfconfidence.
Don: Look Emmett, I'm sorry. But after tomorrow, the q*eer guy is chanceled.
Emmett: You... canceled?
Don: Yeah.
Emmett: But I only were on at once.
Don: That was enough! The audience didn't buy neither than the management. Look, we want a q*eer guy and frankly you're not q*eer enough.
[Here we go - the hearing of the three lawyers and formely friends.]
Mel's Lawyer: My client was under the impression that Miss Peterson had aggreed to work out the custody agreement of their own after matters Mrs.Marcus and Mr.Novotny was settled.
Lind's Lawyer: Only the way my client trust Mrs.Marcus to consider her interested with enlisted your service. And considering we're in middle of a divorces Mrs.Peterson has all rights to engage her legal counsil.
Michael's Lawyer: Allright Tom, I think we can accept the fact that you're here and have no attention to leaving. However I would to point out that your client has no legal right to this child since she's neither the biological nor the adopted mother.
Lind's Lawyer: C'mon, Bobby, she's lived in comment arrangment for 10 years. They're had a commitment ceremony. She was the primary care giver of their first child. She support Mrs.Marcus with the sperm tester and through her pregnany.
Mel: Well she's having a affair.
Lind's Lawyer: A single sexual encounter.
Mel: I say how much didn't count.
Lindsay: For which I appologice more than one time.
Lind's Lawyer: I also want to point out that Mrs.Marcus is engage in her own fatalitys.
Mel: That was before we were married.
Michael's Lawyer: Excuse me, but what the hell has an affair got to do about a good parent?
Linds Lawyer: More then one occasion Mrs.Marcus has dangered the life of the unborn child but refusing to hear of her own doctor orders, over working to a point of casion almost causing a misscarriage.
Mel: Is that what you've said? It's a g*dd*mn exaggeration.
Mel's Lawyer: Mel...
Mel: I was f*ck fine!
Lindsay: We were not fine.
Linds Lawyer: That qualifies Mrs.Peterson to a better mother biological or other-wise. In fact by a biological mother in first place my client of more qualify as Mrs.Marcus or Mr.Novotny.
Michael's Lawyer: Experience is not a qualification for parenthood. What first time parent has experience that you learn on the job. The fact remains that your client has no claims biological or legal.
Linds Lawyer: What she has is a moral claim, it's far more than Mr.Novotny who, let's face, he's a sperm donator with a overrated sence of his contribution.
Michael: Hey!
Linds Lawyer: His well be is moral unfit.
Michael's Lawyer: What are you implying?
Linds Lawyer: He lives with two HIV positive man - one of them are a male prost*tute.
Michael: Is that what you've told him? He's a former prost*tute who was abused by his mother.
Linds Lawyer: Mr.Novotny has a history of drug use, pretend none gay sexual estabilshment by creating a violating, p*rn comic book. I believe it took a lot convince the jury that he has more rights at this baby than Mrs.Peterson.
Michael: Thanks a lot, Lindsay.
Linds Lawyer: So, we have two choices. We can workout an equal agreement between Jenny-Rebacc's three parent, or we can go to court and hear what the judge say to all this. It's your dicision.
[At the gym. Ted looks at the other man while Justin and Brian are work out.]
Ted: But lift, eyebrow lift.
Brian: Hey do a little work unstead counting who's have done.
Ted: And I should do this...
Justin: To keep your mind and body healthy and in shape? I only do this because the guys can check up my ass.
Ted: Check back when you thirty... five and the sun is set down after a endless summer. I come to gym for 18 year three time a week. That makes 2.116 hours spending in the gym. And look at me - it's exactly the same or more than less of me.
[A shocked Emmett comes up, throw mat of the floor and snips.]
Emmett: I've been cancled! After today q*eer guys's gone. And you know why? Because they though I wasn't q*eer enough! ME! I've been says many, many things, but never got q*eer enough!
Brian: It's not only unstonstibly, it's f*g!
Emmett: You know me! Isn't there any q*eer things on me?
Justin: Actually you seem a little...
Ted: Reserved.
Emmett: Reseved?
Ted: You know, you let down your usualy behavior.
Emmett: Well, I'm a newsman now. I had a lower flame a bit. I mean I thoughed if I was as usual I turn people off.
Brian: Well instead they turned you off. I believe in life lessons.
Ted: They're hire you because they didn't want some stiff, straight guy who look as he has something in his ass.
Brian: They want some gay guy who has a fist in his ass.
Ted: They want you - Emmett Honeycut.
Brian: Queerst, nelliest, hoho-h*m* in the who-who-whole wide world.
[In Woody's. A crushed Michael siting beside Ben.]
Ben: You don't touch your drink.
Michael: I didn't buy that drink to drink. I want to stare at it.
Ben: You had a shock.
Michael: I had a shock that Lindsay's lawyer did on me. Maybe I'm some betray drug user. Sex feed...
[At this Brian appears]
Brian: Don't change the subject for me.
Michael: f*ck off!
Brian: Nice to see you, too! Maybe I can enjoy yourself, although I though you won't go in those dubious establishments.
Ben: What's wrong to drink with an old friends?
Michael: Yeah, noticed keyword "friends". You hired that lawyer for Lindsay, didn't you? Never mind, it's obviuos. How else she could afford it? She can barely pay her appartment.
Ben: When Brian pays for her lawyer it is his money and none of our business.
Brian: Well said, professor.
Michael: Hell it's not! Your my friend. I though my best friend.
Brian: I am.
Michael: Then why are you helping her?
Brian: I would done the same for you.
Michael: You can do for me to stay the hell out of it. Thanks to your generosity to splitting Jenny-Rebecca three ways.
Brian: Well, these gays have kids. I'm asking you - Lindsay's are parent too. She has much right for sharing custody as you and Mel.
[With that Brian goes away.]
Michael: You know, sometimes I swear I don't even know the f*ck who he is.
[The last news with the "q*eer guy" Emmett. He look to the other guys in the studio]
Don: OK everybody, places everyone.
[Emmett undress his jacket.]
EP: And we're back from commercial in 5, 4, 3, 2... 1...
Emmett: Hi, I'm Emmett Honeycut, you're q*eer guy.
[With that he stands up and goes around the table and sits over.]
Emmett: Now for my final segment I'm gonna show you how a little fairy transform can even the most hopeless of heteros. [He goes to a guy behind the camera.] Oh, here's a spicy of men and you are?
Clim: I'm Clim.
Emmett: Clim, is it short for Climentine? I didn't think so.
[He leads him to his seat and goes behind him.]
Emmett: Well Clim, as a concerning q*eer guy eye tells me that you could use some devine intervention. Unfortunately she's d*ad, but don't worry q*eer guy can help.
[With that he pulls out a bag at the table and looking for something.]
Emmett: Starting with the hair - a little product...
[With that he make some gel in his hair and brush the hair to the occiput.]
Emmett: Oh, very cool. Now what's that for a shirt? Fortunately I always travel with a spare. [he pulls out a pink shirt.] That's a helpful little tip for all you hot, sweaty man - not everone can warry on candy pink. One more thing - the good lord gave us two eyebrows for a reason. To seperate us from the apes.
[He turns on a electric shaver. He shave a little in the middle.]
Emmett: Alright, there. Welcome to civilisation. Now you turn into such a hottie. I'm Emmett Honeycut, and you're q*eer guy by any minute.
EP: And we're out.
[With that all audience starts to cheer Emmett.]
[Cut to Mel. Lindsay and Gus are also there.]
Gus: Hey mommy.
Mel: Hey, look who's here!
Lindsay: OK Gus, we're eating and then go.
Mel: Look what I'm made you.
[She give him chocolate.]
Lindsay: Just what he needs - sugar.
Mel: Well it's not gonna k*ll him.
Lindsay: You don't need him hear screaming until 2 in the morning.
Mel: When he's with you, you can feed him what you want. If he's with me, I feed him what I want. Until you plans to tell your lawyer I'm abusing him by feeding him with Browny.
Lindsay: I was just looking after my interested.
Mel: Yeah, you can say that again(!)
Lindsay: Same as you.
Mel: I though I say I can take care, but that wasn't enough. You got what you want by describing me.
Lindsay: I didn't start this custody battle - but I'm be damned if I don't stand up for myself.
Mel: So when do you plan to take our daughter?
Lindsay: Your lawyer has a schedule. Then we can fight about who get's Tuesdays and where get's Thursdays.
Mel: You surprised me. I had no idea you're such a k*ller.
Lindsay: I've learned from the master.
[With that she leaves.]
[Liberty Diner. The cook taking a cigarette break.]
Debbie: Well Pete, that's it. I delivered my last pink plate special.
[With that she takes out her chewing gum and throw them in the ashtray.]
Pete: We're gonna miss you, Deb.
Debbie: I've working at the front door that you evendidn't noticed.
Loretta: Deb, we're got a destaster at table 3.
Debbie: Loretta, honey. I'm sure whatever it is you can handle it.
Loretta: Nothing from you had prepare me for this. Please!
Debbie: I'm coming.
[They all goes into the Liberty Diner. All the friends makes a Surprise Last Workday Party.]
All: [cheers] # For she's a good h*m*, for she's a good h*m*, or she's a good h*m*, and nobody can deny. #
Debbie: [overwhelmed.] I don't know what to say! Beside I didn't noticed I have a gay man chorus. But it's the sentiment that counts. And in that department you all stars. You're always be in my heart. Just like this place, always. And it's in good hands here with Loretta. Don't give her any shits, she was training by me. And she give it right back. And take a quarter there for the Victor Grassi house that is nearing dear to me - like all of you.
[All cheers.]
Loretta: Thanks for saying that.
[With that she hugs her. Michael comes up. He's carrying flowers.]
Michael: Here Mom, thanks for everything.
Debbie: I'm surprised to see you here.
Michael: I'm coming here all my life. I've always sit in that booth - right over there, every day after school. It was my seat. And you bring me...
Debbie: A butter crunshed sunday.
Michael: Well I did my homework. And all the kids were so jealous. When my birthday all around you come into my class with cup cakes and milk shakes and serve all the kids in your uniform.
Debbie: And some in your class even give my tips.
Michael: I thoughed I was pretty lucky. I was pretty lucky.
Debbie: You ever feel that the other day?
Michael: I know how hard it was for you, raising me alone. And you even did more the best of it. You were the best.
[A near the tear Debbie hugs her son Michael.]
[Well back in the empty Babylon.]
Ted: At Babylon, still here and still q*eer.
[Justin, Brian and Ted are drinking at that. Brian looks around and see the go-go boys dancing to the music in an empty dance floor. Then all three goes to the entrance.]
Brian: OK, let them in.
[In front of Babylon a huge line of gay mens.]
Ted: Holy shit, you noticed how long the line is?
Justin: It's long but is it real?
Brian: Just you say you bet your ass it is.
Ted: [see's Emmett] Hey, you got in!
Emmett: It wasn't easy - I had to buy the doorman 20 bucks.
Man#1: Oh my god, it's the q*eer guy. I saw you in TV. Fabulous.
Emmett: Well, one has the eye.
Ted: Can I have the eye for a dance from the q*eer guy?
Emmett: You could use some tips on how to make you tooth.
[Inside - Brian and Justin are walking into the backrooms.]
Brian: Uh, like a garantue they didn't find anything like this. And even in the babane republic you can see such a banana like this.
[He inhales E.]
Brian: So, you up for a little celebrating?
[They kiss each other and around them more guys who f*ck and sucks. Cut to black.] | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "05x03 - f*g are No Different than People"} | foreverdreaming |
[We're beginning with the favourite sport of Justin and Brian - but they're not alone. They have another couple in their bed. Justin get's f*cked by the other man and Brian f*ck the 4th man.]
Music:
# Personal Jesus - Marilyn Manson
[After the sex the other couple lies arm in arm while Justin take pot from Brian.]
Man: How much time you're together?
Brian and Justin: 4 years.
Man#1: You get straight.
Justin: It's complicated.
Man#1: Obviously.
Justin: What about you?
Man#2: Goin on 10 years.
Justin: Shit! It's amazing. How do you do that?
Brian: I'm not sure if I'm gonna do hear this.
Man#1: Communication...
Man#2: Honesty...
Man#1: Respect...
Man#2: And a lot f*cking around.
Man#1: A couple of place together, a couple stays together.
Brian: That's what I'm always said - nothing k*ll marriage faster than monogomy.
Man#1: Yeah, try that for 6 months. He stop lying, sneaking around.
Man#2: Yeah, he call me a f*cking neighbour. I thoughed those guys are hot, so I'm join them.
Man#1: It solved all our problems.
Man#2: So how you got hook up again?
Brian: Oh, we have a strict rule - not to see anyone twice. But since you two of you...
[Melanie gets the mail. She opens a mail and say nothing. Cut to Lindsay. She also open a envelope and, the 3rd member of the party Michael gets the mail.]
Ben: OK, I'm a lonely writing professor, for christ sakes. But I'm not gonna take that crip together.
Michael: You must finish onced JR arrives. It's official. I have 1/4 of my daughter.
[Ben umbrace him.]
Ben: Oh, congratulations!
Michael: Could have more - but Brian stucks his nose in.
Ben: Hey, hey, it's not his fault.
Michael: He's the one who conviced Lindsay to fight for custody. He paid for a g*dd*mn lawyer.
Ben: But she's a mother too. It's much as fair.
Michael: Now we must plit out baby in three ways.
Ben: You know, as long as she's love and care for I'm sure we all have got. Would you help me put this thing together, before I loose my f*cking...
[Michael looks straight in his eyes.]
Ben: Yeah, before I loose my mind.
[We're at the diner... no, wait. It's Debbies house, but she still waitressing for Carl.]
Debbie: You're eggs are up. Meat or dry?
Carl: Uh, right dry. Sweetheart?
Debbie: Ya, hon?
Carl: Would you sit down, please? Stop waitring on me, like I was in the diner.
Debbie: Guess that's why called dry hard. You wanted a beacon extra cruspy.
[Carl gets her.]
Carl: If you won't stop... How about the tip?
Debbie: Oh, I was counting on a big one tonight.
Carl: Honey, you just get more than a tip.
[Debbie laughs and they kiss each other.]
Carl: More I hold you, more I can't keep my hands of ya. You're not bored, are you?
Debbie: f*cking my brains out?
Carl: No, not working.
Debbie: Are you kidding? I don't know why I waited so long. I finally had my live for myself.
Carl: So, what's our ladies up for today?
Debbie: Oh, piece of maler...
Carl: Piece of what?
Debbie: I want to buy some pyjamas. All of my seems to disappearing.
Carl: Because I took them.
Debbie: I should have known! It was too good to be true!
Carl: You're sexy without them.
Debbie: You know what this is, don't you? It's grand thieft pyjama's. I could have you arrested but not befor we work it off.
[At Kinnetic.]
Ted: Morning Bri', got those files we're talk about it. Greenwall's Account...
[While he's talking more to himself Brian put some posters with hunky young man at his sofa.]
Ted: It was until 1 in the morning but we have all sign sealed. There is nothing to do for the next few days, I'm kinda free as a bird. Listen, I need some little time off.
Brian: A vacation? Drug bench?
Ted: A small medical procedure.
Brian: Finally get the penis enlargement? When are you leaving?
Ted: Tomorrow. I know it's shorten but they had a cancelation, so they fit me in. I'll be back in a week, 10 days tops.
Brian: So what are you having done?
Ted: What makes you think I had anything done?
Brian: Well, the endless hours you spend pulling your face back? Smoothing your stomach? Spill!
Ted: You know, nothing major - brow lift, ...
Brian: What price beauty.
Ted: They aren't cheap. However they're sucking off my chin for free.
Brian: Oh! "Gay man are obsessed by young and beauty. And an entire subcultur convinced that meaning of happyness and love handles." How pathatic. How tragic. How profitable.
Ted: Yeah, but not all is lucky as you. We all can't be Brian Kinney. We have to work twice as hard for half as good.
Brian: I'm sorry Theodore, I don't mean to emperior your noble affords. I thinking you make a big mistake. Not until you get a penis enlargement.
[Justin visiting Melanie and playing with the baby.]
Justin: Oh, she's so adorable! Can I take her home?
Mel: Sure since everyone else is,.
[Lindsay walks in then.]
Lindsay: I didn't know we had a guest.
Mel: Justin's not a guest. Didn't we agree that you ring the bell, not just pop in?
Justin: Hey Lindsay:
[Justin carries J.R. over to Lindsay where he kisses her.]
Lindsay: Hello Justin. I haven't seen you since you're back from L.A.
Justin: I know, I was planing on calling, but I don't have your new number.
Lindsay: I'm sure Brian could get that too.
Justin: So, how's Gus?
Lindsay: Gus is doing great, he's growing as we speak. He's even started to read.
Justin: Oh, I go away a few months and everything changed.
Mel: No shit.
Justin: I fall hopelessly in love with your daughter.
Lindsay: Yeah she's pretty irresistable. I found this fleece sleeper. I got three of them. One for me, one for you and one when she's with Michael.
Mel: Not to remind me.
Lindsay: We're make sure that she's taking care of.
Mel: Oh, you've seen that! Thanks to you my daughter is now to a stranger.
Lindsay: Michael is hardly a stranger.
Mel: Well, he might as well be. What does he know about raising an infant? She should be with me, instead tossed around like a f*cking football!
Justin: Maybe I gotta go.
Mel: No! We got a tea, g*dd*mn!
Lindsay: I'll get it.
Mel: You don't live here anymore, remember?
Lindsay: Of course, how can I forget?
Mel: You better listen to me instead we have to play a game of "Baby, Baby, Who's Got The Baby".
Lindsay: That's what killin' you, isn't? It has nothing to do with the baby or the custody arrangement. It has to do with you, Melanie Marcus not getting her way nor can completely controll over everything. Well tough shit, you don't. So get used to it.
[The tea kettle whistles from the kitchen and Justin puts down the baby.]
Justin: I'll get the tea.
[Swim hall. Hunter's on the swim team and practice. Ben is there and timing him.]
Hunter: How I did?
Ben: 24 under your best.
Hunter: f*ck' A! It's because I got those shorts.
Ben: It's time for a start.
Hunter: Think so?
Ben: No, I'm sure.
Coach: OK everybody, let's get rub! Let's go! Good practice. You swim those head two hard days and now go to sleep and don't strain on anyone. Are you winners?
Boys: [all] Yeah!
Coach: I ask you, are you winners?
Boys: [yells] YEAH!
Coach: That's more I like it. [to Ben] Hunter's doin' well.
Ben: Well he fits in and made some good friends.
Coach: And having parents to have time to work with him.
Ben: Thanks, I appreciate it, Coach.
[Callie is on the girl's team. She and Hunter speak to each other.]
Callie: Hey, how's swim?
Hunter: Great, you too?
Boy: Hey, you comin'?
Hunter: Yeah.
[He stands before her.]
Boys: Hey Hunter, we're goin'!
Hunter: Wait up.
[He finally goes away.]
[At the diner. Ted and Emmett talkin' about the surgery.]
Ted: Look, I know you say it's fricking expensive. However, I just...
Emmett: ...had the most fabulous idea for my next segment. The q*eer Guy follows you to your entire surgery. Every little snipping clip. THEN I bring you on my show for the big reveal. [Ted starres at Em] Or I get with my avocardo mask on air as planned.
Ted: Stick with the last though. Promised me, however I come out, you still love me?
Emmett: Honey, I never loved you for the look at the begin with. Not that there is a damn thing wrong with it. When it's that what you gonna do then I'm behind you.
[Debbie appears with the shopping bags.]
Debbie: Get room boys!
Emmett: Hey Debbie, welcome home.
Debbie: Yeah, just like a boomarang at least.
Ted: It's just your comeback.
Emmett: I prefer to returned.
Debbie: Oh, I just passin' by, so I popp my head in and see how's goin'.
Ted: Oh things are doin' great!
Debbie: Yeah?
Ted: I mean it's not the same without you. And are you?
Debbie: Well, since I stop working, Carl and I get plenty exercise, if you get my drift.
Emmett: Yeah, it driftes all the way to my room.
Debbie: So I brough myself a new warm-up too.
[She shows them the sexy red teddy.]
Emmett: Dear god! It's like a glory hole for straights!
[Loretta brings over their food and she has completely "stolen" Debbie's act.]
Loretta: Here you go boys. Hey Deb, when you get here?
Debbie: A couple minutes ago. I stop by to see.
[A shocked Debbie see the same vest covered in buttons, slogan T-shirts, same wisecracks. It's like Debbie has never left. Deb's not happy with that.]
Emmett: [to Ted] Are you sure you all eat that?
Ted: Well tomorrow it's all sucked up.
Loretta: I'm sorry Debbie, what are you tellin'?
Debbie: I just asking how's things are goin'?
Guy#1: Hey Loretta, can I get order?
Loretta: Yeah wonderwoman! I'm doin' f*cking great.
Emmett: She's doin' f*cking great.
Loretta: So, what can I get you? Pink plates special? Today's Carl's fish special. What he do with the rest of the fish.
Debbie: I have a bowl of peace soup.
Guy#2: Hey, L'roe, where is my tuna rap?
Loretta: It's there in a minute.
Ted: [laughs] She's a whoot, isn't she?
Debbie: Yeah(!)
[At the comic book store.]
Michael: So, how was rehersal?
Ben: Oh, it's called practice.
Michael: Right.
Hunter: I got my kicked down my cap.
Ben: And his head up...
Hunter: And it's my best time since two tense 2nd.
Michael: That's awesome, dude, right on! I'll can't wait until the performance. I'll be in the first row.
Hunter: It's called a meet.
Michael: Hey, all I know about swimming is from movies with my mom.
[Brian enters the store.]
Brian: Hey boys.
Ben: Hey Brian. [to Hunter] C'mon pal, we're caught up.
[Ben kisses Michael and leaves him alone with Brian.]
Brian: You mind if I'm put this up?
[He hold a poster for Hard Heroes night at Babylon.]
Michael: Hard Heroes Night?
Brian: Every superhero fantasy you've ever had come true.
Michael: I'm not sure if it's appropriate for my younger clientel.
Brian: I'm sure your younger clientel are lusting over those bulging biceps they way you did. They're grew up to f*g anyway, so what's the difference?
Michael: Yeah, ok.
Brian: I expect you be there.
Michael: I don't think so. I've got work, fixing a house and we got to bed pretty early.
Brian: Superheros Mikey - superman on superman.
Michael: We can make a deal -- I'll check on your new place when you check out ours.
Brian: OK, deal.
Michael: Ben and I had a new neighnors for dinner tomorrow. Why you and Justin join us?
Brian: Fabulous. I'll bring a bottle.
Michael: Red would be nice.
Brian: I meant poppers.
[He kisses Mikey, and leaves the store.]
[Justin visiting Lindsay at the gallery were she works. She is looking at some of his art.]
Lindsay: Interesting, not bad.
Justin: Is that a compliment or you just letting me down easy?
Lindsay: Would I ask you to be considered for the emerging artists show?
Justin: Thanks, Linds. But I don't want advantage of our friendship.
Lindsay: What has this to do with advantage when you're work is good? And we're still friends.
Justin: Why wouldn't not be?
Lindsay: Well time changes when couples break up. Friends gravity to one person than the other. So I wouldn't be surprised or hurt if you decided to gravitate to Mel. Well, I think I would.
Justin: That never will happen. You have always be, Mel and Linds. At the very beginning when I first meet Brian you two were there for me. A shoulder to cry on, a couch to sleep on. I can't never take sides. I love you both.
Lindsay: Well, there is one thing Mel and me still agree on - we feel the same way for you. I'm sorry your a witness of our performance.
Justin: Oh please, Brian and I had a couple Acedemy Award Fights ourselves. So is there are any chance for you and Mel...
Lindsay: Got back together? I was hoping at first we could. That we make up and be forgiven. But now... I'll guess you call that "magicial thinking".
Justin: Yeah, but you never know.
Lindsay: Well, I think we should definately considered this one. [she speaks to the picture of Justin]
[A depressed Debbie is sitting on the couch, eating whipped cream and ice cream and ordering stuff from QVC.]
Emmett: I'm off for a party at the "q*eer Guy Team". Don't forget to watch.
Debbie: I'm warm up the seat.
Emmett: Look at you - you in the caftan in the afternoon, instead sweating in the diner.
Debbie: Surprime of the lifetime! [to the phone] Yeah, I'm here. I want the griddle, and the last item too.
Emmett: Wow, that make 2 items in the last 15 seconds. Must be a new record. So, what's wrong?
Debbie: What should be wrong? Like you said, look at me - I'm the happiest women in the world. I got endless hours for my supose. I can eat all the f*cking icecream that I want. I can order at me favourite station at QVC. I'll almost ordered a lama. So, what should any be wrong?! Except that bitch stole my act!
Emmett: Which bitch?
Debbie: What bitch do you think? That pie-person! She was so innocent at first. "I don't know how do anything. I don't have any experience." Man, she hustled me. She hustled be good. And I fell for it! Now she's wearing my t-shirts and my buttons! She should be arrested for idenity theft.
Emmett: You know, I think you set the legacy. Remember, you wanted to leave. It was your decision. And she's just carrying on the legacy, keeping on tradition. For me it's the highest form of flattery.
Debbie: Or the lowest form of imitation!
Emmett: Don't be angry. Be proud. Pass on the mantle with dignity. Always dignity. And don't order a lama, order a virgin.
[He kisses her at her forehead and leaves.]
Debbie: Dignity... always dignity.
[She's taking the ice cream bottle in her mouth and eat it.]
[Brian and Justin in the shower.]
Justin: It's amazing.
Brian: That I can crag your back for the last 10 minutes and haven't been f*ck ya?
Justin: That you and I be together and Melanie and Lindsay are being apart.
Brian: Well, who knows what wonders the fate have in store.
[They get out of the shower and start drying off.]
Justin: I mean if they can't make it, who can?
Brian: Ding-ding-ding. The correct answer is, no-one.
Justin: Stop being so cynical.
Brian: I'm not being cynical, I'm being...
Justin: Realistic.
Brian: Do you mind if I finish my own sentences? I despise it when couples do that.
Justin: Hah. Did you hear that, Rubbery Ducky? He said 'couples'. [Dark look from Brian] I guess I better quit while I'm ahead.
Brian: [Pulling Justin to him] Not before you give me some, Mon Amour.
Justin: 'Mon Amour'? I love how other people's tragic marital plights make you romantic.
Brian: Hard.
Justin: Christ, what a big boner.
Brian: All the better to...
Justin: f*ck me with?
Brian: Didn't I just warn ...
Justin: ...about finishing your sentences?
Brian: Marriage is a doomsday machine destined to self-destruct. Fortunately for you and I we spare such dismal Fate.
[They kiss each other.]
[Debbie giving her old T-shirts to Loretta.]
Loretta: "Life is just a bowl of fairys?"
Debbie: It's one of my favourites. I want you to have it.
Loretta: Well thanks. I think you might be a little pissed about my new look.
Debbie: I love your new look. I loved it on me. And I'm proud of you. You're doin' a great job in the diner.
Loretta: Well it's easy when you have such a good teacher.
Debbie: You're goin' somewhere?
Loretta: Uh, you might say that. I'm leaving.
Debbie: Oh, for the weekend?
Loretta: No, for good. My g*dd*mn sister told my g*dd*mn husband were I am. Now he's coming to get me.
Debbie: So where you're goin'?
Loretta: I haven't that time to figure it out yet. But I know I can't be here when he shows up.
Debbie: Just hold on. You also can't run away.
Loretta: I can and I am.
Debbie: When the assh*le shows up just tell him to f*ck off!
Loretta: You do not can tell him to f*ck off. No sir, no way! And that's a fact.
Debbie: Well, here's another one. Wherever you go he find you too.
Loretta: So, what do I do?
Debbie: I'll give you another t-shirt. You can wear when he arrives.
Loretta: What is that said?
Debbie: It doesn't say anything - it does look that way.
[see the picture at the left.]
Debbie: There will get the message.
[Brian and Justin at Michael and Ben's dinner together with Eli and Monty.]
Eli: If you want fruits you have to plants now.
Monty: Eli is the gardner in the family. I'm the chef.
Eli: And the rose bushes needs a front cut and they look fabulous.
[Michael goes around them and pours some red whine]
Michael: I remember when I was a kid planting pean in the front yard...
Brian: And look what looms.
Eli: Which one of you is the gardner and which one is the chef?
Justin: I really like cooking.
Brian: And I love planting my seeds in some hole... [Eli looks confused] in the ground.
Monty: By the way I brought a petition.
Ben: Oh, great. We'll be happy to sign.
Eli: We're trying to get the city to installed bumps in the streets.
Ben: I doubt Brian is interested in street bumps.
Brian: On the contrary street bumps are extremely important. Especially when you go out dancing.
Eli: What exactly do you do, Brian?
Justin: He's the president of C.E.O. Kinnetic - the top advertising agency in Pittsburgh.
Brian: I'm also C.E.O. president of Babylon - the top gay dance club in Pittsburgh.
Eli: Babylon? We're haven't there been years.
Brian: Oh, you two should come by as my personal guest.
Monty: I didn't think Babylon no longer suits our lifestyle.
Michael: Can I get anybody anything?
Brian: Which lifestyle is that, Monty?
Monty: I'm Monty.
Brian: Which lifestyle is that, Monty?
Monty: These days we prefered to spend quiet time at home with our kids.
Eli: Rather than in a room surrounded by drugged up Peter Pans.
Brian: You know, so many couples I've spook these days are feel that way. That's why I'm started a Monogamous Monday.
Ben: Brian is a real kidder.
Eli: I hardly think it's kind of the promiscuous behavior that Babylon promotes is a laughing matter.
Brian: Oh c'mon, fellas. Don't tell me that after ... how many you've said? ... 10 years together you haven't had a little extra marital ass...
Justin: Brian!
Eli: Actually, we've never have. It's called being in a mature, loving relationship.
Brian: That's called being d*ad.
Michael: Brian, can you help me with desert?
Brian: First, the present. I hope you're boys doesn't have one.
[Brian sitting a wrapped box on the table. He pulls a sling out of it.]
Ben: You bought us a sling?
Brian: You told me you're renoving your playroom.
Michael: Not that kind of playroom.
Brian: Oh, I still get sure you got hours of enjoyment from it. So, what's for desert?
[At Hunter's swim meet.]
Michael: In our home! In front of our friends!
Ben: You got to let you go, Michael.
Michael: I know, it wasn't about an hour ago.
Ben: [shouts] There you go, Callie!
Michael: Callie's parents make a fool of themselve.
Ben: Just ignore them. We're here for Hunter.
Speaker: "Next up, 50m boys free style."
Michael: Oh my god, that's us.
Speaker: "Swimmers, on your marks."
[The boys swims, Ben and Michael cheers Hunter on. He wins his race but he bumps his head.]
Callie: Hunter, are you okay?
Michael: He hurts himself.
Ben: Shit.
[They running down. Hunter starts to bleed, blood and getting into the pool. Callie jumps in the water to help him and her parents stand up in the bleachers.]
Callie's father: Don't touch him!
Callie's mother: Get out of the pool, honey!
Callie's father: [screams] He has AIDS!
[Silence falls over the crowd.]
Couch: Everybody out! Get out!
Ben: C'mon pal, let's look at you.
[Emmett is at the doctor's office with Ted. He's going to the journal of beauty faces.]
Emmett: Now THAT's what I called a chin! Oh Teddy, if you get this cheeks, I would. What do you think?
Ted: [looks at the mirror] I think I gonna puke.
Emmett: I warned you, didn't I? I warn you to tortured yourself.
Ted: It's not that. Look at me! I look like a couch in the pusher shop!
Emmett: It's just a sign to reveal your new... look.
Ted: I didn't have any surgery before. Everything is intact. My pendex, my tonsil.
Emmett: Foreskin.
Ted: My teeth. It's my first time under the knief.
Emmett: Oh, it's nothing.
Ted: You just sit and say what you want. I'm the one who suffers the real pain for the sake of a new me. If I didn't like the new me?
Emmett: What's not to like?
Ted: Maybe Brian's right. Maybe it's the obsession of youth and beauty is shallow narcistic...
Emmett: We're f*g, for Christ sakes! Being obsessed about beauty is our god given right!
Ted: Should I pull out?
Emmett: You seriously asking me this question? Teddy, for as long as I know you you have never felt good, really good about yourself. So, for few decisions for you finally find the courage to look in the mirror and smile, then I say it's not superficially - it's blessing.
Ted: Thank you.
Doc: Mr.Schmidt?
Emmett: Go on!
[Mel and Lindz in their house.]
Mel: Diapers, bear. Lotion, where is the lotion?
Lindsay: That's not for a beauty contest.
Mel: For a baby you must b prepared.
Lindsay: Spoken like a true scout. This was a joke.
Mel: All they must do is cook the milk.
Lindsay: When's Michael picking her up?
Mel: About an hour.
Lindsay: Mel...
Mel: I didn't know what he's f*cking doin'!
Lindsay: We're find out. You know, I was thinking. Why does Gus spend with you tomorrow night?
Mel: Have a date?
Lindsay: No, I just though it would be nice for you to have some company.
Mel: So, I don't be lonely. Thanks, but as much I would love to have him here, I don't need your pitty.
Lindsay: It's not pitty...
Mel: No, it's you being greatness...
Lindsay: I only trying to think of you.
Mel: Maybe you should done this at the first place.
Lindsay: Gus, honey, it's time to leave. I hope you goes well tomorrow. Despite what you've think.
[Hunter, Ben and Michael coming home from the E.R.]
Hunter: Two hours for a f*cking headache.
Ben: We're home now.
Michael: Come down and relax.
Hunter: Relax!?
Michael: You have a concussion. The doctor told me...
Hunter: I'm fine! There is nothing wrong with me. Except the face of Callies assh*le father and the kind mother!
Michael: Hey!
Hunter: Well, she is! Now the whole school knows I have AIDS.
Ben: You don't have AIDS, you have HIV.
Hunter: Don't tell me, tell them. Except you don't have to. Cause I'm never goin' back.
Ben: You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Hunter: Yeah, right(!)
Ben: The coach says he gonna talk to everyone and explain that they can't infected from a few drops in a chlorinated pool.
Michael: If you wanna take a day off tomorrow, that's fine by us, but sooner or later you gonna have to go back.
Ben: Yeah, when you do, you can tell them, you the 50m free style Champion.
[Hunter sighs dejectly.]
[Brian and Justin watching the dancers rehearse.]
Brian: Superheros supposed to look like they're flying like superheroes, not falling like two crash test dummies. Try it again!
Justin: It looks pretty good.
Brian: Really good it's not good enough. When Mchael see it he looses his mind, and his breath and his control.
Justin: Then what? Come running back to Babylon where he belongs? This ain't gonna happen. He's happy with what he is.
Brian: Gay man can't live on gardening and speed bums alone. Sooner or later he pays restless in his age, hooling at the moon and he break free from suburbia and returns to the jungle where he belongs. OK, let's give it another try.
[Liberty Diner. Loretta's waitress.]
Loretta: Honey, the chicken and the meat loaf.
Darell: Excuse me, Ma'am. Can you please take my order?
[Loretta's in shock.]
Boy: Hey, I didn't order this!
Loretta: Try, you like it.
Darell: Honey, before you say anything, I just wanna say I'm truly, deeply sorry am I for all the spank. How's your job?
Loretta: I can efford my expenses, so I guess it's okay.
Darell: Look, I know I lost my temperament. I promise I won't do that again.
Loretta: That's what you've always say.
Darell: C'mon, it's time for you to come home.
Loretta: Darell, I...
Darell: You don't have to apologize... I forgive you.
Loretta: You forgive me?
Darell: Yeah, forget what all happen.
Loretta: I don't wanna forget it. I'm not going back home. I'm staying here.
Darell: In some f*g diner!? Is anybody take care of yourself? To be independed. That's will be funny, if it's were so pittyful.
Loretta: I'm not pityful.
Darell: What do you think you proving here? That you can live without a man? That you're a lessy?
Loretta: I am, Darell. I am a lesbian and I'm not ashamed.
Darell: You want me. Your problem is you have to get me.
Loretta: Now, you're wrong.
Darell: What you say to me!?
Loretta: I told you.
Darell: And I'm telling you, I park this car outside, now let's go!
[He tries to drag her out of the diner but Debbie is there with a baseball bat.]
Debbie: She said you to f*ck off! Don't YOU understand?
Darell: Who the hell are you?
Debbie: I'm the one with the baseball hat.
Darell: It's between me and my wife.
Debbie: And she's trying to tell you something and you're not getting it in your head, so maybe my friend here can help ya.
Darell: Let's go.
Loretta: No! I've said no! You are not a nice person, Darell. You don't thr*at me with the respect I've deserved. And I don't love you anymore.
Debbie: I hope you've heard it this time. You better leave, before me and my f*g friends b*at the shit out of you.
[He leaves without a word.]
[Hunter walking down the halls of the school. He's now the outcast, everyone looking at him, talking about him, moving to avoid him when he walks past. He goes to his locker and Callie approaches him.]
Callie: How's your head?
Hunter: I'll live.
Callie: Look, I'm sorry for what happened.
Hunter: What are you sorry for? I don't stupid enough for blame you that you found out.
Boy: Hey Callie, what do you wasting your time for him? He's a f*g.
Boy#2: I've heard you got AIDS from an old geyser f*cked him up the ass. For cash.
Hunter: You've told.
Callie: No! I swear, I didn't.
Boy#2: Hey f*g, 5 bucks. What didn't you suck my cock?
Hunter: I've charges more than from assholes like you.
[The guy starts to h*t him.]
Callie: Stop it!
Hunter: Why you stop? C'mon h*t me, get my blood all over you.
[The bell rings.]
Callie: You ok?
[Hunter runs away in pain.]
[Ted having a dream. In Brian's agency. At the wall are pictures of Ted with a hot body.]
Brian: I'm sorry but I can promise you Schmidt. He is the hottest guy in town. Even I wanna f*ck him.
Ted: I'm sorry Brian. You can't have me.
[Cut to the reality. Instead Brian Emmett calling his name after the surgery.]
Emmett: Teddy? Ted? It's me, Em.
Ted: Oh, I'm only dreaming.
Emmett: You say, how do you feel?
Ted: I feel like I h*t a bus and I were death and step over an elephant. How do I look?
Emmett: Well Ted, puffy. But the doctor said give it a few days and you'r be gorgeous.
Ted: Thank you for be with me.
Emmett: Please, when I'm do this you'll be right there with me. Now you may lay there and rest. And remember, no peeking!
[Emmett leaves and of course Ted has to go to the mirror and look at himself. He screams in horror.]
[Loretta and Debbie getting drunk at Woodys.]
Loretta: You just see his face?
Debbie: Pissed as hell.
Both: Another sh**t!
Debbie: I'm so proud of you. Say that former assh*le say to f*ck off.
Loretta: I'll never could that done without you and your big hat.
Debbie: Bigger than his.
Loretta: You better believe it.
Debbie: You don't have to afraid from anybody.
Loretta: I don't now how I can ever repay you this. First you give me a new life. And then you save it.
Debbie: Honey, you don't owe me a damn thing. There is something you believe yourself. Happyness. Even through a lot of shit. Then you deserve it.
Loretta: To someone to share of it?
Debbie: Someone to thr*at you right.
[They drink to that.]
Debbie: I think I better go home before the sun go up.
Loretta: Me to, I have the early shift in the diner.
Debbie: Well, when you open up the place, I lay in my bed.
[Debbe umbrace her to goodbye. Loretta kisses her on the lips.]
Loretta: I love you.
Debbie: You to. Bye.
Loretta: Bye.
[Michael and Ben picking up J.R. and Mel giving them last minute instructions.]
Mel: There is breat milks, diapers, bottom warmer, her blanket.
Michael: We have blanket.
Mel: She sleept with this one every night since she was born. It's an antike. And here the feeding instruction. It's practically every three hours or when she's hungry. She'll let you know. And make sure the milks warm but not too hot.
[Mel give J.R. relucted in Michael's arms.]
Mel: When anything happens or any questions...
Michael: Yeah, we'll call.
[The party is going full swing at Babylon, the superheroes dancing for the crowd. Brian is standing on the baloney looking towards the door for Michael. who isn't coming. Brian walks off.]
[Cut to Mel who is sitting alone in her now empty house.]
[Dancers partying at Babylon.]
[Then a sh*t of J.R. in her crib at Michael and Ben's place. They are standing over her, smiling down at her.]
[Back at Babylon, Brian and Justin are drinking at the bar.]
Justin: He might still come.
Brian: f*ck him. More caped crusaders for us.
[He puts his hands on Justin's shoulders and they walk off into the crowd together.]
Music:
The Joint is Jumping - D1 Music featuring Lisa Hunt
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "05x04 - Hard Decisions"} | foreverdreaming |
[This episode begins with a long line of customers outside Babylon waiting to get in. Justin walks up.]
Bouncer: Good evening, Mr.Taylor.
[It’s a packed house inside. Emmett is on the catwalk.]
Man#1: God, the q*eer guy.
Man#2: You can make me, anytime you want top to bottom. Or bottom to top.
Emmett: I'll keep that in mind.
Justin: [comes up] Your Mr.Popular.
Emmett: Oh, I'm only a television star who doomed. You're looking for the other Mr.Popular?
Justin: He says, he has a surprise for me.
Emmett: Didn't he has time to waste until your eyes to be surprised. His majesty is in his new “V.I.P. Lounge” - but invitation only.
Security Guard: Welcome, Mr.Taylor.
[Justin walks in - Brian waits for him.]
Brian: How do you like what I'm done with this place?
Justin: As usually your taste is incredible.
Brian: Some people might say that Babylon does not longer serves any purpose, but I find think it has some 101 uses.
[He nods to a few guys in the backroom and they start undressing Justin, going down on him as Brian and Justin kiss.]
Brian: Maybe even 102.
[Multiple clips of baby J.R. getting passed around between her three parents. Going from one to the other to the other & back to another, etc. The baby is happy and smiling at first but after a few dozen hand offs she is cranky and crying. Cut to the Novotny-Bruckners out for a walk. Michael is pushing J.R. in her stroller, Ben is walking beside him and Hunter is on his bike behind them.]
Ben: So pal, your coming home after school?
Hunter: No, I though I join this circus to survive.
Michael: Smart ass.
Hunter: Where the hell should I gone? Now that I'm politely even kicked out of the swim team.
Michael: Aren't they have other extra school activities you participated?
Hunter: You mean where I'm not been in danger the other? Hey, there is chess club, although when I got cut...
Michael: Would you cut it out?
Hunter: No, why aren't you with your helpful suggestions...
Ben: Hey, ok you two...
Michael: Well, all I'm saying is you were pissed or bitter and you can forget about it and move on.
[Brian drives up.]
Brian: Welcome to my two dads. Hey champ.
Hunter: f*ck you.
Brian: If you weren't straight you doesn't agree with the lad.
Ben: I had class.
Brian: I'll give you a rid, professor?
Ben: No thanks, I'll grab a bus.
[Brian gets out of his car, walking over to Michael. He speaks to the baby.]
Brian: Guutschi-guutschi. Or if you prefer Prada-prada. Where were you?
Michael: Huh?
Brian: I'll missed you last week in Babylon.
Michael: Oh right.
Brian: All your favourite superheros were there. Flying around, f*cking around...
Michael: I'll was flying around myself.
Brian: Well, when you and Ben aren't brest feeding you should drop by.
[Debbie's house. Debbie getting roses from Loretta.]
Debbie: These are f*cking beautiful!
Loretta: And I made you fudge. Three kinds - chocolate, butter scotch and rocky coat.
Debbie: Jesus, what to do that I deserve all this?
Loretta: Yes, you deserve everything.
[Emmett comes down the stairs.]
Emmett: Somebody wins a beauty contest?
Debbie: Yeah, Miss Fat Ass 2005.
Loretta: You are not fat! You're beautiful.
Emmett: The ladies right beside the bouquet doesn't fit anymore, so stop wearing it.
Debbie: Thank you, Mr.q*eer Eye for the fashion tip.
Loretta: Well, I... better get back to work.
Debbie: You take care. Thanks again for all the goodies.
[Debbie hugs Loretta. Then Loretta leaves without a word.]
Debbie: You care for some? Loretta just made it for me.
Emmett: Oh, how sweet(!) [he taste one.] So is this.
Debbie: It's an expression of affection, not a baker.
Emmett: Yeah well if the sugar tensive any indication, she's more than sweet on you.
Debbie: What the f*ck are you talking about?
Emmett: As obvious like the collor of your... eyes... You know the roses, the candy, the way she stares at you... don't tell me you couldn't see it.
Debbie: She's an friend of me. This is her way to thank you me for all I did for her.
Emmett: Trust me, it's more than that - much more. She's fallin' in love with you.
Debbie: That's impossible - I'm a happily married woman. I like dick.
Emmett: You don't have to tell me. You and Carl are goin' out every night. You don't hold back, do you?
Debbie: It's no point doin' some instead with a half ass.
So what am I gonna do?
Emmett: Well, first you put those rose in some water, then you freeze the fudge, than you gonna explain to her as gently but nicely as you can, why it could never be.
Debbie: Listen Loretta, I can't even imagine divin' into a muff.
Emmett: Something like that. Anywise like true lesbian, she'll be unpacking and offroad Vihicle and moving in.
[Brian with his pants down and a guy kneeling in front of him. No it's not what you've think - gee, as if it gets only around one thing. He's at a doctor.]
Doc: OK, you pull your pants on.
Brian: What a refresh reverse of the usual act.
Doc: So, when it is first appear?
Brian: About 4 days ago.
Doc: Any idea how you got it?
Brian: Probably from pulling to hard.
Doc: No oblist, Brian. It's look like you have cases of syphilis.
Brian: Syphilis? That's so 80s, 88s.
Doc: Not anymore - it's once again over age especially in the gay community. Pull off your sleeve, please. Think you can know from whom you have it? Make a fist.
Brian: I'm not the type for the kinky stuff.
Doc: I'll confirm it with the blood test - just to make sure.
Brian: Then what?
Doc: Then we give you a penicillin sh*t, let you clear it up. However, you have to lay off sex for couple of days.
Brian: Couple of days!?
Doc: I realise that for you it is the hell of the time. But I have a good faith. Oh and one more thing. You need to inform every one you have sexual contact have with, so we can tested.
Brian: Had we but world enough and time.
[Hunter at school were he is an outcast, subject to all the stares and whispers and gossip. In class, when he sits down in a desk, the boy next to him gets up and moves. Callie comes in, sits in front of him.]
Callie: Do you have a pen? I lost mine.
Hunter: Are you trying to be nice?
Callie: Yes.
Hunter: Well, don't bother.
Callie: Fine, if you glad to sit by yourself.
Hunter: Your the only person who knew about me. The only one. And know the whole school know about me. Gee, I wonder if that happen.
Callie: I didn't tell anyone. I'll would never do that to you.
Hunter: Then how they found out?
Callie: My parents? You told them yourself, remember? When you h*t the pool... they called to the other parents. They told their kids, they told their friends... first time your famous.
Hunter: Yeah, I'm a cock sucking superstar. Except I don't see them asking me for an autograph.
Callie: My folks are assholes for what they do - I've said I'll never forgive them. And I won't. Now, can I borrow a pen?
[He give her a pen.]
[Ted with dramatic opera music playing, sitting alone in the dark with a big hat on, pulled down over his face so no one can see him. Emmett stops by.]
Emmett: Teddy?
Ted: Don't turn on the light!
Emmett: Where the f*ck are you?
Ted: Well, I'll here for all the eternity - at the sofa.
[Emmett turns on the light and turns off the music.]
Ted: I'll ask you not to turn on the light!
Emmett: How am I supposed to see you?
Ted: That's the point!
Emmett: Still puffy?
Ted: Puffy? Yeah, I'll be thrilled about puffy, I'll overjoy the swollen. Compare to me the alpha man is the supermodel!
Emmett: Allright, you always cranky before you eat. C'mon, we'll grab some dinner.
Ted: With me? Go on public like this!? What I've done to myself?
Emmett: You had cosmetic surgury. Everyone who had it goes through this. Onces it's healed you'll be have a fabulous face.
Ted: I don't want a fabulous new face, I want my not so fabulous old face.
Emmett: You don't mean that.
Ted: It's the worst mistake I'll ever made. What makes worser is... why am I want beautiful? I want some beautiful - is that so much to ask? Instead I'm condammed and spend my remain days in the shadow - lke the phantom of Pittsburghs opera.
[He turns the light off and the music on. Emmett sights.]
[Mel and Lindz going over their bills.]
Mel: Luggage, condo...
Lindsay: What's this $12,000?
Mel: Oh, the water heater broke again and the plumper says he can't repaired and must be replaced.
Lindsay: Did you get any checks?
Mel: There was no time. Here is the premium for the car insureance.
Lindsay: Wait, wait a minute. Why should I have to pay for a water heater consider I don't live here.
Mel: But your children do and I'll pay for the half of your appartment and I don't live there either.
Lindsay: I still don't think it's fair. You don't even consult me and expect me to pay?
Mel: OK, I tell you what. Why I don't take down at the river and wash there and put the cloth against the rocks?
Lindsay: You always have a smart answer.
Mel: Well the stupid answer would be fun - you don't have to pay.
Lindsay: I'm stretch to the limits and can't find something else to live.
Mel: Any bride ideas?
Lindsay: Go back to work.
Mel: Go back to... Oh, when you had Gus I'm insure that you've comfortable as possible so you can stay home with him.
Lindsay: That was a complete different circumstances.
Mel: Oh, how's that?
Lindsay: We were still living together. And we'll still loved each other. I'll pay for everything else but not the heater.
[She leaves.]
[Justin cooking at the loft when Brian comes out of the shower. Brian taste tests his food.]
Justin: Taste this.
Brian: That's specifically good. It's charming your such a good cook.
Justin: Well, Michael gave me this.
Brian: What's next? Mates?
Justin: I love home-cooking. It makes me feel home. I'll make you feel good when someone cook for you. But home-cook meal is so appetising you are welcome to order yourself thai food if you love this weed.
Brian: [he whispers in Justin's ear] I love your cream sauce.
Justin: This is for desert.
Brian: A penicillin tart with seasonal berries.
Justin: What?
Brian: I said, a penicillin tart with seasonal berries. I have syphilis.
Justin: Syphilis?
Brian: It's not a big deal.
Justin: It's not a big deal? It could cause heart abnormilties, mental disorders, blindness...
Brian: Thank you for the public announcement, Dr.Taylor but the patient are already thr*at it and cured. All I have to do now is all my brains out for the next 48 hours, make that 42. By the way, you should you give self tested.
Justin: Did you f*ck someone without a condom?
Brian: No. Never. Word of honor.
Justin: Then how did you...?
Brian: It must have been someone who suck me off.
Justin: It surprising it happened sooner consider where your dicks been.
Brian: Excuse me, but you haven't exactly be a saint yourself. In fact, I might have even gotten from you. When's diner?
[Michael, Ben and Hunter having dinner. Mel has called.]
Michael: [to the phone] Yes, she ate. No, she's not colicy. Yes, she's sleeping like a baby. Look Mel, I got to go. Yes, I promise. If there is a problem, I'll call. [he hangs up.] Christ, she called every 5 minutes.
Ben: She's her mother.
Michael: She's a f*cking control freak, that's she is.
Hunter: Can I excuse?
Michael: You don't need anything - eat!
Ben: [to Michael] No control freaks here. Are you ok?
Hunter: Awesome.
Ben: Look, your principal called...
Hunter: I didn't do anything.
Michael: We know.
Ben: He wants us to come to a meeting with some of the other parents.
Hunter: About what?
Michael: About what happened in the swim meeting.
Hunter: f*ck!
Ben: Wait, hold on. It's not necessarily a bad thing.
Hunter: And how you figured that out?
Ben: If we'll help the official, answer questions and hopefully help you what you going through.
Hunter: Like anyone gives a shit what I'm going through. I'm coming too.
Michael: It's for parents.
Hunter: It's about me, isn't it? So I have a right to be there.
[Ted and Emmett at a lesbian bar.]
Ted: This is a d*ke bar! How can you bring me to a d*ke bar!?
Emmett: In commit to your out-of-town tryout. And nobody can f*ck you here, right? So it doesn't matter how you look like, or what everybody thinks.
Ted: Yeah, you right. No-one knows me here, so I'm safe. I'm annonymus.
Debbie: TEDDY! Hi, Em.
Ted: Mother of Christ!
Debbie: No honey, just of Michael. What do boys doin' here? Don't tell me you want to taste snatch.
Emmett: I could ask you the same thing.
Debbie: I'm taking your suggestion.
[She looks over to Loretta.]
Emmett: Uh,... I hope the fish bite.
Woman#1: [to Ted] You look pretty b*at up, baby. Do a man do that to you?
Ted: Huh!?
Woman#1: Too bad I wasn't around to protect you. But don't you worry, kid. When the swallow goes down and when it does you gonna be just as pretty as ever.
[She slaps him on the ass and goes away.]
Ted: That "person"... thinks I'm a lesbian! What have I done to myself? I'm goin home and I never coming back out!
Emmett: [to the woman] She just hasn’t been herself since the hot flashes.
[Cut to Loretta and Debbie's table.]
Debbie: A great place here, didn't you say?
Loretta: I suppose. I'm really glad you ask me out, Deb.
Debbie: What with her?
Loretta: She's...
Debbie: Handsome?
Loretta: I was hoping we could spend some time togther - just the two of us.
Debbie: What about her? I bet she love a good hand - to buy a beer.
Loretta: I hope someone does.
Debbie: Loretta, honey, isn't here someone in this place who take those of your fantasy?
Loretta: There is. [She's taking Debb's hand.] Buy a beer?
[At the gym. Brian and Ben working out together.]
Brian: I though it was the benefit of marriage, besides having have sex with the same person for the rest of your natural born life, is to be able to let yourself go.
Ben: I'm sure you'll be please to know that Michael and I still looking good to each other.
Brian: You still look?
Ben: Not everyone would considers marriage and monogamy as a death sentence. For some of us there is simply a part of growing up.
Brian: You mean giving up. It’s surrendering to the straight world’s conception what it needs to be a man.
Ben: We can't be a Peter Pan forever.
Brian: You can try.
Ben: These days I prefer spending times in the family room than the backroom.
Brian: As opposed to ‘those days’ of getting g*ng banged in the orgy room of the Liberty Baths.
Ben: Liberty is to remember.
Brian: How can you forget now that you have the HIV and oh-so-PC. But I stopped Michael from becoming one of them, Stepford f*g but at least I save Justin from a fate worse than being heterosexual, and that’s being an imitation heterosexual.
Ben: And what's that?
[A hottie cruises Brian.]
Brian: Limitation.
Ben: Aren't you gonna go after him?
Brian: I'd loved to, professor, but I still have the 24 hours until that syphilis clears up.
[At Ben and Michael's home.]
Michael: [to Daphne and Justin] I'm sure we're here when she wakes up.
Ben: So give the baby phone to you and feel yourself at home.
Daphne: Thanks.
Michael: You have my cell phone number - just in case.
Ben: Have fun you two.
Michael: Thanks again.
[Michael and Ben leaves.]
Daphne: Oh my god, she's so cute.
Justin: She's twice as grown since I last saw her.
Daphne: Have you thoughed yourself of having one?
Justin: Sometimes.
Daphne: So, what's stopping you?
Justin: I'm sorry, did I forget to mention who I lives with?
Daphne: Did you ask him?
Justin: He won't even get a puppy. Do you have any idea how much that would cost? Anyway now is not the time for life-altering discussion. At least not until his syphilis clears up.
[Daphne looks shocked to Justin.]
[School meeting.]
Principal: I know last week's big accident during the swim meeting raised a lot of concern for your children's health and safety. That's why I'm invited Dr.Judith Davidson from the Pittsburgh's AIDS profect to speak with us this evening and answer any questions you might have. Dr.Davidson.
Dr.Davidson: Thank you. Unfortunately there is a great deal of still deal of alleviate. So I welcome the opportunity to not only inform you about the fact, but to hopefully alleviate some of your fears. First of, let me assure you that the risk of HIV transmission from Hunter's injury in the pool is next to impossible. In fact, it'll require a direct blood to blood contact for there to be any significant exposure.
Callie's father: That's comforting to hear that doctor, but that's not the only thing he exposing our children to. The kid is a hustler, a male prost*tute.
Michael: Hold on!
Callie's father: Do you mind if I finish?
Ben: As a matter of fact we do.
Callie's father: I am sure that I speak for everyone here when I say, we don't want our kids around someone with his backround.
Ben: You don't even know a damn thing about his backround how he was abused by his mother, how he do escape from series of foster homes, literally sleep in the street...
Michael: And how he regain his health that he can catch a school.
Father#2: What is this? A plot to a Dickens’ novel?
Ben: You children lead privileged lives, how dare they laugh at my son’s misfortune!?
Hunter: It's ok, Ben. I'm glad I came here tonight because I'm learning something too. Now I know how the kids got to be the way they are - from you.
[Justin and Daphne watching TV.]
Daphne: I don't know how you can so casual about it. I’d freak out.
Justin: I do that first but my test came back negative so I guess everything is ok.
Daphne: Next time you're not so lucky.
Justin: I'll promised that I will be safe.
Daphne: I wish you can be more than safe. I wish you two would...
Justin: Settle down. Get married. Be monogamous? It's never gonna be happen.
[They hear the baby crying over the monitor.]
Daphne: Oh my god, she's burning up.
Justin: I'll better call Michael. [he tries] f*ck! Just his voice mail. [He dials someone else.]
[The parents leaving the meeting.]
Principal: This was supposed to a formal meeting not a fighting ground. Please accept my apologizes and know that not everyone feels that way.
Ben: Oh, it's not your fault, but thanks for saying that.
Principal: However, we have a much bigger problem than I thought. To tonights reaction, you might sending Hunter to another school.
Hunter: I'm not leaving.
Michael: We should at least consider.
Hunter: They can call me whatever they want, I don't care. You're not chased me off.
[Mel in the E.R. with the crying baby. Lindsay comes in.]
Lindsay: I come as soon as I could.
Mel: Where is Gus?
Lindsay: Thank god Dusty is take him. How's she?
Mel: Oh, ear ache and fever.
Lindsay: Have you waiting a while?
Mel: An hour, at least! They see siting there with a screaming infint and decent...
Michael: We just get the message.
Mel: Yeah and where are you? At babylon?
Michael: f*ck you!
Ben: Hey! Easy, easy. We're was in Hunter's school, there was a problem.
Mel: Yeah, I'll see there is a problem.
Lindsay: She's been waiting over an hour. There must be someone who talk to.
Mel: How could you leave her like that? After all the crap you put us through? It's unforgivable.
Michael: She's was with Justin.
Mel: Yeah, how do they know?
Ben: Enough to call you.
Mel: You have no saying this, so butt out!
Ben: Excuse me?
Michael: Don't talk to him like that! We have another kid who need our attention!
Mel: I don't care about your other kid right now, I care about this one, my daughter who have happens to be in a lot of pain.
Lindsay: I'll find some nurse.
Mel: All I know is at the minute you have her, you take off. I went to my lawyer about this because this time there is no settling. We're gonna go to court and I'll make sure that you loose custody.
Michael: You just try!
Nurse: The doctor want to see your daughter now.
Mel: It was about f*cking time!
Nurse: I'm sorry, but only one parent can go.
Mel: Oh, I'm goin'. I'm the mother.
Michael: I'm goin. I'm her father.
Mel: Yeah, some father.
Michael: You say that one more time!
Lindsay: I'm goin'. You two can nuke it out but my daughter need some other attention.
[Babylon. At the bar.]
Brian: Why? You solo?
Emmett: Well, not everyone is like you - in a non-relationship.
Brian: Where is Pittsburgh very own extrem make over?
Emmett: Oh, I'll try to make him an appearence but tonigh with desasters thr*at. He saw a lesbian and went back in his hole for another six weeks.
Brian: You can tell Theodore that he’d better get his ass back to work Monday or he’s fired.
Emmett: I'll be sure I'm giving him a message.
Brian: Now if you excuse me, I have another urgent message to thrown apart.
Emmett: Half price admittions for all bottoms?
Brian: I have syphilis.
Emmett: You have...?
Brian: Do I know to repeat?
Emmett: Well it certainly hasn’t been your year dick-wise.
Brian: It's my responsibilty to inform all my former partners so that they can tested.
Emmett: Wouldn't a full page ads save your day?
Brian: I'm always prefer the personal touch.
[Brian tells one of his tricks about the syphilis. It’s like a game of “Telephone” being played across the dancefloor. Brian tells his trick who tells the guys he’s slept with that they might have been exposed, etc., etc., etc. Back at the bar.]
Emmett: Fortunately for me I'm been spared the last trash.
[One of his tricks comes over to him and tells him to get tested.]
Ememtt: Until now.
[Michael and Ben holding hands in the E.R. Mel sulking. Lindsay comes out with J.R.]
Mel: Oh, how's she?
Lindsay: She'll be fine, they gave her some baby medicine. It's need to repeat every 4 hours. And some from the other twice a day.
Michael: I'll pick that at the front seat.
Mel: OK, sweety, I'll take you home.
Michael: I was just to say the same thing.
Mel: Why should she go with you?
Michael: Because it's still my time.
Mel: I'll say you had enough time.
Michael: We have an agreement.
Mel: After you practically abandoned her?
Lindsay: Would you two please calm down?
Ben: I'll agree.
Mel: The baby needs her mother.
Michael: I'm just escapable of taking care of her.
Mel: You'll proving that.
Michael: Come with daddy.
Mel: She's coming with me!
Lindsay: Would you two stop!? I don't even think one of you give a damn about your daughter's welfare. All you concern about is who has ownership.
Michael: That is not true!
Mel: How can you say that?
Lindsay: But I'm a part of it. Well no more. I'm out of this circus right now. Jenny Rebecca is all yours. I hope you will spend as much time thinking of her needs as you do about yours.
[She leaves.]
[At the diner, Rosie has made Debbie some heart-shaped Jello.]
Loretta: Hearts.
Debbie: You made it from a cherry jello.
Loretta: And flower are addable penchus.
Debbie: Not the first onces in here. You shouldn't do so much trouble.
Loretta: Nothing is to much trouble for you, Deb. Hey, you wanna go back to that bar tonight? I'm off at 6.
Debbie: It's not really my scene, if you know what I mean.
Loretta: Yeah, to crowed and noisy, I understand. How do you know when we go to a quite little place, some...
Debbie: Loretta, sit.
Loretta: I'd love to, but I have a couple of pink plates coming up.
Debbie: Betty can serve them that. Please sit. [she sits down.] Loretta, I'm truly flattered and honored that you like me.
Loretta: I'm more than like you.
Debbie: It's just that one little hitch. I'm not gay. Only god knows I had a lot of grieves but let's face it, honey, after hanging up those heroes these days but it's not real.
Loretta: I don't think I was gay at first either. That's because I hadn't know the right person.
Debbie: I have met the right person. His name is Carl Horvath.
Loretta: I better pick up those...
Debbie: Listen, please, listen. You don't really love me.
Loretta: Why would not? You're wonderful.
Debbie: I'll take the compliment. But you just think you do because for the first time in your life you find the expressing who really you. And I am thrilled for you. Truly I am. But you need someone who love you back. Someone you deserve.
[Emmett back at Ted’s, ready to make him get on with his life. He get some light.]
Ted: Uh, what are you doin'!?
Emmett: Let in some sunshine.
Ted: Light is my enemy, dark is my only friend.
Emmett: I'll remember that.
Ted: What's all that?
Emmett: q*eer guy is about to working out his fairy magic.
Ted: Let your fairy magic for your truckers.
Emmett: First we need to get your hair to his natural color. Chocolate mouse or bottermind umbroe?
Ted: What for? It's useless. A caterpilar is never a butterfly. I'm just an old memories who make fun of. The one who's trying to get young, and only fool to himself.
Emmett: Teddy, no matter what you look like there will be only one person blinded by your beauty. And we got help the natur to get along. So let's crackin'.
[Hunter getting more looks at school. He is walking with Callie.]
Callie: My parents nearly shit.
Hunter: They did?
Callie: You called their a fashist hate monkers. You know what you do to a life lived democrats?
Hunter: Sorry that I'll be angry them.
Callie: Are you kitten? So they deserved it. I'm sorry that you have to go through that. I'm glad you decided to stay.
Hunter: You are? [Hunter takes her hand.] So you do wanna go with me? We can go to a movie and got pizza. Or I could follow your father's car and drive to LA.
[Callie sees another boy nearby and she quickly snatches her hand away from Hunter. The boy comes over and kisses her cheek.]
Callie: Hey Matt.
Matt: Hey. We want to the mall. You come?
Callie: Sure.
[Hunter is crushed. He looks on the verge of tears.]
[Michael and Ben at Woody’s. Michael got a call.]
Michael: Sure, what a relief. Thanks for let me know. [he hang up.] That was Mel. She wanted to let me know tht our daughter is doin' fine.
Ben: Ah, that's good news.
Michael: And that I'm an assh*le.
Ben: What? She said that.
Michael: No, I did.
Ben: You decided you look for the best for Jenny-Rebecca's interest.
Michael: Actually I was looking after mine. Instead of thinking what is right to the baby, or who she should be with, I was think about me. So, I decided Lindsay's right.
Ben: By to give up custody?
Michael: I would never do that. But I do think that JR needs to spend more time with the mother instead of passing her around. So we need to come up with a new arrangement. A one that's the best for her.
Ben: I think it's very wise and a very loving decision.
[They start to kiss and make out. Brian walks up then.]
Brian: What kind of beaviour is that for a proper married couple?
Michael: Inproper. Undignified.
Ben: Hmm, fun.
Brian: Since when have married people fun?
Michael: You should trying sometimes. You might enjoy it.
Emmett: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, he's here! He's here!
Ben: Who's here?
Emmett: OK, it's not that devine Ted, but I'm got him out of house. You should only know what it took. So, praise him and tell him he look fabulous. Got it?
Brian: [practise] Ted, you look fabulous. Ted, you LOOK fabulous.
Emmett: Here he is, here he is!
[They turn to the door and a really hot guy walks in.]
Brian: Oh my god, he really does look fabulous!
Emmett: That's not Ted. That is.
[Ted walks in.]
Michael: Hey, you look 10 years younger.
Ben: What a fantastic job.
Brian: Ted, you look fabulous.
Ted: You do?
Emmett: What did I tell you?
Ted: Well, drinks are on me.
[Ted goes to the bartender.]
Michael: [whispers] To tell the truth he doesn't look that different.
Brian: I don't looked enough to know.
Ben: Look him in the eyes. It's rusted...
Emmett: It doesn't matter if he look any different. The point is that he thinks he does. He can look in the mirror now and see a new man. A men who had confidence and likes. That's all that matters.
[Debbie in her red teddy racing down the stairs to answer the doorbell because she thinks it’s Hovarth.]
Debbie: Get ready baby, when you come through that door you got such a big... surprise.
[It's Loretta.]
Loretta: I think you weren't expecting me.
Debbie: I was just doin' ironing. Come in.
Loretta: I guess I carried away. It's the first time I was able to show another woman affection after I was slucked from Daryl.
Debbie And girl you keep goin'.
Loretta: I am. I'm leaving, Deb. The diner and Pittsburgh.
Debbie: Just cause I said that I couldn't be your dreams didn't know you have to go.
Loretta: I know, it's got nothing to do with you. It's me. When I see someone, something I like I get, you might call, fixated. It's kind the person that I am. I always been that way. Every since the shrimp.
Debbie: The shrimp?
Loretta: When I was a girl my folks used to take to Remond every sundsay night for the 895, kids half price. They had every kind of food you can imagine. I never loved anything but just the shrimp. When I keep goin' back for more, more and more my folks try to give me roast beef, try the chicken, try the striganov. I know what I like and I stuck through. I know if I stay here, I'm not able to move off. I just keep loving you. And this won't neither of us like.
Debbie: I'm sure if you try the roadbeef, you like it.
Loretta: [crying] It's ok.
Debbie: Shit! I should be here to comfort you.
Loretta: You already have. I'm gonna be just fine
[Lindsay at Mel's house.]
Lindsay: Since you don't be coming to my apartment anymore - I thoughed you could use them.
Mel: You're not doin' this because you don't wanna be Jenny's mother, are you?
Lindsay: I'm doin' this because I didn't want to be a parent to the baby anymore. I'm doin' this what it's best for her, not me.
Mel: Thank you.
Lindsay: I hope you know that I never intended to get things so ugly.
Mel: That's how divorces go especially with married children. Why should that been any different?
Lindsay: Because we loved each other more. By the way that's from my share for the water heater.
[Michael and Ben leaving Woody’s.]
Ben: Oh, Liberty Avenue.
Michael: In all it's glory.
Ben: Miss it?
Michael: It's my life for a long time. Everwhere I look, I still see me. Walking down the street with Brian, hanging out with Emmett, Ted, cruising some hot guy, but I've moved on. Rather what I'm used to be I look forward what I get to be.
[They kiss. As they pull apart, Michael is shocked to see Hunter hanging out on the street corner, smoking pot with his old hustler pals.]
Michael: What's goin' on?
Hunter: Re-connecting with old friends. Renewing social times. Want some?
Michael: No, we do not!
Ben: C'mon, let's go.
Michael: It's school night>.
Boy#1: Uh, school night. [he's laughing.]
Hunter: I'm not goin' back!
Ben: Hey, I told the principal that you not wanna leave.
Hunter: Well, I'll changed my mind. I never should have been there where people thinking they are better than me. At least this guys accept my for who I am.
Michael: Well, in case you forgotten so do we. Now, goin' home.
[They lead him off as his hustler pals.]
Boy#1: Be sure to doin' what your daddies says and collect up front.
[Justin sitting on the couch at the loft drawing when Brian comes in. Justin turns the drawing over so Brian can’t see it.]
Brian: Hard at work?
Justin: How was Babylon?
Brian: Hard to play
Justin: What are you doin' home so early, it's nearly 1:30.
Brian: Because I forced celibacy is now over and I wanted you to be the first to know.
Justin: I'm touched.
Brian: You'll be a lot more than touched when I'm done with you.
Justin: I have work to do.
Brian: Do it in the morning.
Justin: I'm doin' it now. How can you be so f*cking casual? You never get tired of it?
Brian: To get tired of it would mean that it’s becoming predictable, unsatisfying and boring, so is like our conversation is headed.
Justin: Or it can mean I found something more satisfying and more meaningful.
Brian: What would that be?
[Justin doesn’t reply, just looks at him.]
Brian: I'm take a shower and then go to bed.
Justin: OK, I have some work to finish.
[Justin turns his drawing back over. It’s a scene of J.T. asking Rage when will he ever stop f*cking everything that moves. Rage has sores on his face and the word bubble for his reply is empty. Justin writes the reply “Never” in the word bubble.]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "05x05 - Excluding and Abstemiousness"} | foreverdreaming |
[At Babylon, hot boys are dancing.]
Emmett: [to Ted] You f*cked him?
Ted: Wednesday.
Emmett: And the Latino?
Ted: Thursday.
Emmett: Well Teddy, you are out of control.
Brian: Good evening, twats.
Emmett: Would you kindly reframe to use such derogatory comments towards women since they make up half of my fanbase.
Brian: Have any hermaphrodite?
Emmett: I don't think so.
Brian: Good, go f*ck yourself. Is anyone do-able here tonight?
Ted: Sorry, Bri, I've already done him.
Emmett: We're up to friday.
Ted: Oh, there is friday. Over there in the bossy bottom there.
Justin: He's a bottom!?
Ted: You should hear him sing “Natural Woman”.
Brian: You got gag them first, then f*ck them. You still have much to learn, Theodore.
Emmett: Oh my god, who's that?
[Emmett spots a new, hot guy on the dance floor. Brian checks him out and kinda smiles.]
Ted: I dunno, I may have sunday free.
Brian: Count on staying home and winning your puke.
[The guy heads off to the backroom, Brian follows, Justin watches on and doesn’t look too happy.]
Ted: Oh, let him have this one.
[Brian follows the guy into the backroom. Brian goes between the other guy and his would-be trick.They have a little stare-off, measuring each other up like two g*n-fighters in a cheesy Western. Brian reaches for his crotch and he pushes his hand away and walks off. Brian is not happy.]
[Justin is visiting the Novotny-Bruckers. He and Michael are showing Ben the storyboards for the next issue of “Rage”.]
Ben: Wow, Rage and J.T. are finaly tied the knot.
Michael: It's about time, wouldn't you say?
Ben: They went to Toronto?
Michael: No, Massachutiper. It's a planet.
Justin: Unlike Pensylvenia it's legal for gays to get married.
Ben: Ah and where they can buy their rocket-tickets and zoom off?
Michael: I wish. Let's hopes that five thousand--oh, hell, make it ten thousand--readers agree with you.
Ben: Are you coming to our house-warming?
Justin: I wouldn't miss it.
Michael: It's gonna bed ass blow out.
Ben: What you say we're start early?
[Hunter enters.]
Ben: There he is.
Michael: Our late son.
Hunter: Cool cover.
Ben: Where you've been?
Michael: Didn't we say home by six?
Hunter: I was practicing with my debating partner.
Justin: Whenever I used to use say my parents that I usually was really out getting high.
Ben: When's the big debate?
Hunter: Tomorrow afternoon. It's in front of the whole school.
Justin: What's the topic?
Hunter: Capital punishment. I’m all for it, I say fry the f*ck.
Michael: [to Justin] Now you see we're so proud.
[Emmett doing his “q*eer Guy” segment on Chanel 4 News.]
Emmett: What I'm about to show you may frightens small children, so parents may want send them out of the room. Scary, huh? [he show the audience a bald man] It's what I'm called the comb-over, like Wallies here. [he takes the picture out and show the more bald Wally] Let's see how much balder Wally looks when he embraces his baldness. Allright this was my hair do's and don't's. Next week home wax - and I'm not talking about the kitchen floor. OK, everybody, be fabulous!
Anchor man: Thanks q*eer Guy. That's it for tonight, hopefully we'll be hair for tomorrow.
Anchor woman: May be all news be good news.
Guy: We're out.
Producer: That was fabulous! See how you can do it? Since you're at the air the ratings are up 2 points, everyone wants the gay perspective. Chanel 1 is even hiring a trainee to learn from this person.
Emmett: Wow, let's hope he is cheap and decite it's a rainy affair.
Producer: Either way the fans will line up run the block to see you tomorrow at the mall at Hoffman's.
Emmett: So many need, so little time.
Producer: You don't even read your fan mail.
Emmett: Fan mail? For me?
Producer: Even people who hate f*g love you.
[Debbie is sick and laying on the couch, Hovarth waiting on her.]
Carl: Here go, honey.
Debbie: Thank you Carl, but I don't know if I could keep it down.
Carl: Are you still hurt?
Debbie: Huh.
Carl: Oh baby, you take what the doctor has prescribed?
Debbie: That crack!? They split it back and serves them as a orange sausses. I mean all this new deseases even those doctors can keep up with it. What if it's birthflue. A chicken sit on my shoulder the other day.
Carl: What for?
Debbie: I'll get a second opinion. Actually it's the forth.
Carl: That's it.
Debbie: Who you calling?
Carl: The station. I'm gonna take you.
Debbie: Carl, please no. It just make it worse. I'm keeping you from work.
Carl: OK, but promise you call me as soon as you hear what the doctor says.
Debbie: I'll promise.
[At the gym, Emmett is passing out flyers and prompting his up-coming q*eer Guy appearance.]
Emmett: I'll be in Hoffman's Department Store today from 1 to 3 signing autographs, giving tips on how to be fabulous. Be sure to stop by.
[He goes to Ted, who is working out.]
Emmett: Oh Teddy, I feel as if I finally find my calling. God has pointing me from above to do his work below.
Ted: Saint Emmett. Saint of fashion approved, style decry...
Emmett: Laugh, but there is something I almost... holy of saving thousands of walking disasters in this town. Although he is definately not the one.
[A hot guy past by and checks out Ted.]
Emmett: Leave that guy? He recognize me.
Ted: But I recognize him.
Emmett: Is he someone?
Ted: He is someone - alright. Pride 2002 - we had an amazing sex, at least I though so. Then the next day in Woody's. He told me once a time a year he finds a looser guy...
[Flashback.]
Troy: ...like you. I gave them a break. I give him... I give him me - a f*ck of his life. Something they can remember, like a souvenir. It's my way of giving back to the community.
[in the present.]
Emmett: Teddy, this was years ago. Could you now be proud that this guy is cruising for you?
Ted: It was the humiliating experience of my life. Everybody calls me... "Aunt Pity f*ck".
Emmett: Well as it painfull as it been you just have to let it go.
[Emmett goes away and Ted looks at Troy and thinking.]
Ted: Or get even.
[Ben arriving at Hunter’s school and talking to Michael on the cell phone.]
Ben: I'm not gonna make him nervous. I'll sit in the back, he'll not even know I'm there. I just want to see him in action, we'll stop by at the store after this is over. I'll take you both to dinner. Love.
[He hangs up.]
Ben: Callie? It's Ben.
Callie: Mr.Bruckner. I know Hunter's dad.
Ben: I came to watch him to Debate. Which way is the auditorium?
Callie: As you go in, it's on the right. But I don't think there is a debate. They're got a course practise.
Ben: You sure?
Callie: Is Hunter ok? He hasn't been in school all week.
Ben: Oh, he's fine. I... I guess it must be a missunderstood.
[Emmett in the mall doing his appearance. A hetero couple.]
Emmett: This pink stribes look fab on this jacket and see how this tie really make you pop.
Frau#1: Frankly I don't care what clothes or what he weares. I took your advice from the other night and shaves his head and embrace his baldness - now he's hot in the bedroom.
Ememtt: I can tell you how much my heart feels when he's horny. OK, be back in 5!
[Ted and Lindsay are waiting for him nearby with hugs and kisses and support. Brian is there, too.]
Lindsay: You are a superstar! Look at this proul.
Ted: Well it's like the stones took it the stadion.
Emmett: Brian(?) I can't tell you what it means that you come to support me.
Brian: I need it socks.
Lindsay: Don't pay any attention to him.
Ted: He is proud at you as we are, aren't you?
Brian: Yeah, it's an honor to count a close personal friends televisons latest gay eunuch.
Emmett: Escuse me?
Brian: You know as in non-sexual, non-thr*at, ball-less. You do honor a long and ellustriace line of laughable, laughable gay clowns who've came before you. I mean, look at this people.
Emmett: They're my fans, they adore me.
Brian: Because you so cute. But do you think they still adore you when they knew you took it up the ass and liked it?
Emmett: Like I said Brian, I can tell you what it means that you show up and support me.
Brian: Any time.
[Brian reaches out to pat him on the shoulder and his hand gets brushed away, making him flash to Brandon doing the same to him in the backroom. A woman rushes up to Emmett.]
Woman#2: I just love you, you're so cute!
Emmett: Thank you, thank you.
[Michael and Ben on their front porch.]
Michael: He's been lying to us?
Ben: I'm sure there is a reason. [Michael give a look] I didn't say a good reason.
Michael: Well, I'll thoughed he trusted us, that, you know, told us everything.
Ben: Did you tell everything when you was 17?
Michael: I didn't have to. We had microphones in about every room.
Ben: Here he comes. Now, let's try not let our emotions get them up.
Michael: It's easy for you to say - you came from a home who can do that.
Hunter: Sorry, I'm late. I was in debate club. So you knew what the topic is?
Michael: Secrets and Lies? We knew you haven't been in school all week.
[Hunter goes inside the house wordless.]
Ben: Better.
Hunter: Can't you let me the f*ck alone? I told you, I don't wanna talk about it.
Michael: You have to talk about it.
Ben: We wanna help you.
Hunter: You can't help me. Nobody can, it's too late.
Michael: It's never too late.
Ben: We know it's been a tough last weeks.
Hunter: Try years.
Ben: OK, but it's gotta be a solution.
Hunter: I can't go back to that school. Every day all staring me like a piece of shit and when they do it's how I feel.
Michael: You're not a piece of shit. You are a brave smart, funny, wonderful person. And we love you.
Ben: You don't have to lie to us, we're goin' through.
Hunter: You have no idea.
[Brian and Justin drinking at Woody’s. Justin is looking at a catalog.]
Justin: How about a barbeque grill? Or maybe a fireplace? What do you think?
Brian: I think if you don't stop talking about their g*dd*mn house party I'm goin' to burn their house down. [to the bartender] Another round.
Justin: What's your problem?
Brian: I have no problem. I'm problemless, a problem free zone.
Justin: Then help me with something up.
[He closes his eyes and points at the catalog.]
Justin: Hmm, a hands-free toilet? "Sense you are there and automatically flashes."
Brian: Yeah, 300 bucks down the crapper.
Justin: Are you gonna tell me what's goin' wrong?
Brian: No.
Justin: Fine(!)
[Brandon walks past Brian like Brian doesn’t exist.]
Brian: Anyway, you wouldn't understand.
Justin: Sure you admire my t-scores.
Brian: You're too young.
Justin. Compare to who?
Brian: Whom?
Justin: You?
Brian: That hot guy falling in the backroom the other night?
Justin: Quarterback?
Brian: When I went to his cock... I'm not...
Justin: Just say it.
Brian: ...my hand...
Justin: Your hand? What(!)? If there is your comfort, you're still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh. Help me out here. We can't show up without a gift.
Brian: I'm not goin' to that f*ck' party!
Justin: Why not?
Brian: Because I'm goin' to a f*cking party.
[Debbie coming down stairs and, for one horrible moment, it looks like Emmett has Carl bent over the kitchen table f*cking him.]
Carl: Ow! Stop it! It hurts!
Emmett: C'mon Carl, take it like a man.
Carl: Jesus, you're killin' me!
Debbie: What the hell is goin' on!
Emmett: Carl let's practising me how to wax his back for an upcoming segment.
Debbie: Christ, I though you practise in something else.
Carl: OK, that's it. I quit it.
Emmett: You still half-waxed.
Carl: Yeah, but if you go any further I'm half-ass'd.
[Carl leaves.]
Emmett: How about you, Deb? You want me to give you a free trip?
Debbie: Thanks, but I keep my hair like they are.
Emmett: You have any temperature?
Debbie: No.
Emmett: What the new doctor say?
Debbie: He said I'm dying(!) I'm perfect health, wise-ass! Maybe this bring down my fever.
Emmett: You just said you don't have any fever.
Debbie: That's what the termometer said. I'm know I burning up.
Emmett: Did you think I'm still physically attractive? You know, sexy.
Debbie: Well, keeping in mind that I'm a heterosexual woman of a certained age and your q*eer as they come, f*ck yeah.
Emmett: Good, 'cause Brian said the only reason they like the q*eer guy is because I'm no-thr*at, sexless.
Debbie: What the f*ck does he know?
Emmett: Actually, a lot.
Debbie: Actually he's wrong. Hell, you have more sex then anyone I know - except of you, of course. Since Carl moved in. Let's face it honey - most people pretend that gay man hasn't sex. I mean, it's hard to see two gays kissing and, you know, taking up the ass. It's make them to be uncomfortable.
Emmett: Brian said that, too. You wanna know something? It's time to make over.
[Back at the gym. Ted see's Troy.]
Ted: Can you spot me?
Troy: Sure. Don't I know you?
Ted: I don't think so.
Troy: I'm Troy.
Ted: Ted.
Troy: Hey, I know where I'm know you from.
Ted: You do?
Troy: South Beach, right? We hooked up.
Ted: No, never been there.
Troy: Oh, would you like to?
Ted: Go to South Beach?
Troy: Hook up.
Ted: Sure.
[Brian meeting with a client about her company’s new anti-aging cream.]
Woman: In our new research we found that once a woman reach the age of thirty-five she's almost invisible for the most man.
Brian: And you wanna make them visible again? Or at least make them think they can be.
Woman: Our new anti-aging cream offers hope, more confidence and at less wrinkles. All we need is a brilliant campain and a perfect product name.
Brian: Um, sure I come up with something.
Woman: Your man are so damn lucky never have to worry about such things.
[Behind the woman Brian suddenly see's Brandon. He’s completely ignoring Brian.]
Brian: Don't be so sure. Visible.
Woman: What?
Brian: That's the name of your new product.
[Brandon walks past Brian, still ignoring him, and goes to the men’s room.]
Woman: Visible? I like that.
Brian: Hey, you came up with it. You just didn't know it. Would you excuse me for a minute?
[Brian follows Brandon. Brandon is at the urinal and Brian moves to the one beside of him. Brian gives his patented “look” that usually makes men fall at his feet. Brandon just looks back unfazed and walks off.]
[Debbie is at the diner with Mel and J.R. She’s playing with the baby.]
Debbie: [to J.R.] Aren't you glad your assh*le parents work through their shit? 'Cause now grandma can hold you without a g*dd*mn trade good.
Mel: Well you know how to sweet talk to a baby, Deb.
Debbie: I'm glad it all worked out.
Mel: Well, we'll see.
Man: Hey Kiti, where the f*ck's my check?
Kiti: I allready grew tits, you want me to grew up another hand!?
Mel: Boy, this place isn't quite the same around here since you're left.
Debbie: Boy, so I've noticed.
Man#2: Escuse me, miss. My meal is cold.
Debbie: I dunno. I've been feeling lately I can bearly have the enercy to crawl.
Mel: Have you been to see...
Debbie: Five of them. All claim to have degree and no-one tell me what's wrong.
Man#3: Can we get a menu!?
Man#4: I ask for cream.
Man#5: Where is my f*ck' lunch?
Cook: You're food is up!
Kity: I'm a tr*nny and a virge of a breakdown!
[Debbie has enough. She stands up and handles the busy diner to perfection. She take the meal to the customer, give the man the menu.]
Debbie: Here you go, fishing chips and turkey burger with fries. Here your menus, special are on the board. 2 percent it's better for you and the cream.
[Finally she sits down to Mel.]
Mel: Deb, I think I know what's wrong with you.
Debbie: Yeah?
Mel: BFM.
Debbie: [worried] BFM? Sounds serious. What is it?
Mel: Bored out of your funking mind.
[In Em’s next “q*eer Guy” segment.]
Emmett: Listen up, straight boys. Take a tip from the q*eer Guy. Wearing these [he shows a boxer shorts] will not get you where you wanna go. But these [he holds a string] will definately generate a little friction. I know because I was been wearing at my very own. They set off your nice tight assets and noticed the croth. You can help and stuff a sock or hamster in there. I certainly don't need to cover become to my rescue. My is coped to the rim with leads us to another topic but not tonight. I'm be q*eer Guy - be fabulous.
Anchor man: Thank you, q*eer Guy for that brief report. That's the news, we'll be back at eleven.
Man#1: We're out.
Producer: [to Emmett] I though you told me you wanna talk about hair wax.
Emmett: Yeah, waxing is vital, but it's not sexy.
Producer: Sexy? You want sexy?
Emmett: Don, you married for a couple of weeks and already make a statement like that? You meaning conceling.
Producer: And you may need an employment insurance.
Emmett: What?
Producer: Don't ever show us your shorts again.
Emmett: It's just underwear.
Producer: You don't have to air them in public! And no-one wants to know you're have a tight...
Emmett: Ass?
Producer: Or a big...
Emmett: Dick!?
Producer: And that you...
Emmett: f*ck!? Well here is a piece of news for you - I do.
Producer: Well from now one you stick to cookie and flowers and turning straight guys into a meterosexuals and leave your sex-life OFF screen!
[Brian and Justin arriving at Michael and Ben’s house-warming with a gift.]
Justin: You can stay for at least an hour.
Brian: I've told you, I can make a special guest appearance, then I'm out of here.
Justin: It's for Michael.
Brian: You know better than anyone the first rule of sex parties. Don't come late to a sex party or otherwise you can go along.
Michael: [opens] Hi! I'm glad you could come.
[They hugs all around.]
Brian: It's all I'll livin' for.
Justin: Happy house-warming.
Michael: If this a harness and paddle to go with the sling?
Justin: Nah, I picked this one.
Eli: You guys have a great house. But trust me, you never done.
Monty: All what it takes is time.
Eli: And money.
Ben: Yeah, tell me about it. OK, say something for postery.
[Ben record this with his new camera and Debbie goes accross.]
Debbie: I'm f*ck' starving. [she sees the camera] Oh, shit.
Ben: It's ok, Deb, I wanna something for pasterity.
Debbie: Um, pasterity. Let's see. I'm very proud of you both and I wish you all the health and happyness in the world in your beautiful home. That's it.
Ben: Perfect.
Debbie: [to Carl] It's amazing how A's the neighborhood. Here are more house than everywhere else.
Carl: I know, I used to hang out here all the time.
Debbie: Really?
Carl: When I was a big cop.
[Michael answers the door again and it’s Mel and J.R. J.R.’s in her carrier.]
Michael: Hi, come on in.
Mel: Thanks for inviting me. You know...
Michael: But we're still a family, are we?
Mel: Happy new house.
Michael: Thanks, you mind if I show her off?
Mel: Be my guest.
Michael: Everyone meet me beautiful daughter.
[Michael shows her around. Hunter mopes on the staircase.]
Ted: First I give him a f*cking of his life and then I give him the mind f*cking of his life. I'm gonna say, "Once I was your pity f*ck, but tonight your mine, your assh*le".
Emmett: Speaking of with...
Brian: Aren't you go the U and A's for the baby? Got your underpants in the newsy the other night. Your saving your dick for sweets?
Emmett: My producer say it was a terrific segment. Yeah, he said it was about time to show gay people as full sexualist human beings, not just sterotypes unic. If you escuse me.
[Brian yawns. Lindsay hesitantly approaches Mel.]
Lindsay: Those food is the h*t.
Mel: Say so.
Lindsay: I'm glad you came.
Mel: For one the reason I'm starving.
Lindsay: Makes me think of our house-warming.
Mel: Hmm, if anyone needs to prove that toilets are control by cosmic causes.
Lindsay: They also brake 10 minutes before the guest showed up.
Mel: A hundred d*ke peeing in the backyard.
Lindsay: “Bushes in the bushes”.
[They laugh at the memory. Michael has champagne and he and Ben toast to their guests.]
Ben: We just like to welcome all of you to our new home.
Debbie: Your beautiful new home.
Michael: And we look forward to sharing many happy family occasions here together.
[All cheers]
Brian: Happy family occasions.
Ben: We also have another reason to celebrate tonight. Rage and J.T. are getting married.
Eli: It's about time for superheroes settled down.
Monty: When do they start raising a superhero family?
Michael: That's next.
Ben: I got a copy for everone, our little house-warming gift for you.
[Brian gets his copy of the comic and Michael comes over.]
Michael: You like it?
Brian: It reminds me of a portrait I saw in the doctor’s office as a child. Little girl and boy dressed as a bride and groom with a little puppy at their gown. Just as the nurse stick me in the finger for blood.
Michael: And you had your aversion to marriage ever since. Why haven't I think it's a good damn story? Just it doesn't agree with your anti-family values is no reason to dump on it.
Brian: OK.
[He tosses the comic down and leaves. Justin watches him go, saying nothing.]
Debbie: Let's get the whole family.
Michael: Good idea, I'll get JR, you get Hunter.
[Ben to look for Hunter, who’s still moping.]
Ben: Hey pal, we're taking a video with the whole family.
Hunter: What do you want me for?
[He goes back up to his room.]
[In Brian’s backroom, he’s on a forklift type thing getting a blowjob from a trick. He’s bored with that guy and spots another one. He approaches the new guy who is interested but then Brandon shows up. Trick goes with him instead.]
Trick: A better offer has came along.
[Brandon smirks at Brian and stands with his arms open as the trick blows him.]
[At the comic book store, there is a big display of the Rage and J.T. marriage. Michael checks out a customer who leaves. Justin is restocking the displays with the newest issues of “Rage”.]
Michael: Another satisfied customer.
Justin: You know you've said that every time you've sold one.
Michael: I do? Well, it must be true. We've sold over 530 on the website, and almost 200 here in the store.
Justin: Those are the last we've have.
Michael: Everybody loves that J.T. finally got his man.
Justin: Yeah, everyone but you know who.
Michael: Yeah, I do know who. Well, what would you expect?
Justin: What did I expect? That life would imitate art. I've heart that it's known to happen. How can I suckered into my own fantasy, talking about pathetic. Nobody on earth knows better than I do unless it's gentic alternative nuclear misshapen that this could never happen.
Michael: Not a bad story.
Justin: But that's all it is - just a story.
[A kid comes in looking for the next issue of “Rage”.]
Boy: Do you have a new issue of Rage? [Justin points over] This is totally awesome.
Justin: [whispers] Another satisfied customer.
[Ben coming out on the porch where Hunter is moping.]
Ben: Well, I think the house is been suspicially warm, wouldn't you say? [no answer] Good party, huh? I assume you have a good time.
Hunter: Yeah, I think Melanie and Lindsay declaring a seas f*re, Brian leaving to go to a sex party... and you and Michael are sticking a f*cking camera in my face and playing those happy family having a good time.
Ben: We're not pretending - we are. You gonna get through this. I'll promise.
Hunter: f*ck your false hope. World's stinking shit.
Ben: I don't think Plato hasn't saying any better.
Hunter: Who?
Ben: Listen, I found a great school. They have a waiting list a mile long. One of the professors are on my department floor so I was able to pull some strings...
Hunter: Who even bother? Huh!? So they're find out too and then? It start all over again. What’s the point of goin' to a f*ck' school!?
[At the diner, Hovarth meets Debbie.]
Carl: Hi honey, I haven't been here since you've left. Somehow it's not the same.
Debbie: Neither am I. Carl - honey, I'm found out what's wrong with me.
Carl: I just want you to know and whatever it is... I'm in this for a long hole. I'll stand by ya and not goin' anywhere.
Debbie: I know that, sweetheart. That's why I love you.
Carl: OK, tell me. No, wait, wait. [He takes her hand.] OK, tell me.
Debbie: First of all, it's not a physicall thing.
Carl: Whew, that's an relief. Then what?
Debbie: It's hard to explain. Ever since I left here I felt lost. And no place to go home, I've got nothing to do, I sit at home and buy a lot of shit I don't want of TV.
Carl: That's what a lady suppose to do. I mean, relax, enjoy yourself. Be glad you don't have to work.
Debbie: It's funny but I never though if it's work.
Carl: It was long, hard hours on your feed, juggling plates.
Debbie: To me it was more like a dance. Then I was the primaballerina.
Carl: This is not exactly the royal ballet of Pittsburgh.
Debbie: But it's my job. It's more than a job, it's who I am and I want it back.
Carl: I... I was just... trying to make it easier for you, honey. I want you make you happy. Like I said, I'll stand by you - I'm not goin' anywhere.
Debbie: Thank you, Carl.
[she kisses him.]
Debbie: Now, you sure your ok with this?
Carl: 100% sure.
Debbie: Good, because my shift started back in five minute ago.
[she pulls off his coat and reveal her work uniform. Carl laughs.]
[Ted has Troy tied to the bed and is f*cking him. Troy’s having fun. Afterwards.]
Troy: Whew! This was hot.
Ted: Think so?
Troy: You know? I've been here before.
Ted: Oh?
Troy: I mean in this building and f*ck some poor looser.
Ted: Yeah, well. The place if full of them. Believe me I'm know.
Troy: [laughs] One of my pity f*ck.
Ted: Speaking of pity f*ck...
Troy: You know, when we first hooked up in the gym I wasn't sure.
Ted: That I was your type?
Troy: That you be so... hot. Man, if I knew this before. Look, I'm still hard. You're up for another round?
Ted: Actually there is something I wanna say to you.
Troy: That you want roll me over and f*ck me again?
Ted: What I wanna... What I wanna say to you... is uh... roll over.
Troy: Oh yeah!
[Michael and Ben cooking.]
Ben: Michael, we can't force him to go to school.
Michael: Of course we can. We're his parents. He's only 17.
Ben: Hey, you could skip school when you were 16. Besides, if we pressure him, we're only push him away.
Michael: He's got to finish Highschool, so he can go to college and become a doctor, and a lawyer, and the president of the Unite States.
[Ben kisses Michael.]
Michael: What was that for?
Ben: You're a total obtimist, that's why I love you. Just give him some time, and some space and hopefully he comes to the right decission.
[Cue Hunter who comes down the stairs with his things packed.]
Michael: Hey, I was just about to call you for dinner.
Ben: You go out somewhere?
Hunter: Yeah.
Ben: Well, but don't be too late.
Hunter: I mean, I'm leaving. For good.
Michael: What do you mean?
Hunter: I can't stay here anymore, ok?
Michael: No, it's not ok. Put your things away and sit dow and eat and afterwards we'll discussed this.
Hunter: We'll already discussed. It's nothing left to say.
Michael: Well, I said you're not goin' anywhere and that's final.
Ben: Mike.
Michael: WHAT!? He can't just leave. We'll his parents, for Christ sakes, wheather he likes it or not! We're his legal guardiance and we say go.
Ben: Hunter, Hunter, problems doesn't solve if you run away.
Hunter: I don't belong here, I don't belong in this house, I don't belong in this school, and I don't belong with you.
Ben: Of course you belong with us.
Hunter: All I cause is problems, embarassing you.
Ben: You don't embarass us. We're proud of you.
Michael: This is not the debate team. We don't need to argue here. You want appel souce or peaches?
[Hunter goes wordless to the door.]
Michael: Hunter, you go to your f*cking room!
Ben: Where you wanna go?
Hunter: I dunno.
Ben: Do you have any money?
Hunter: The money you and Michael gave me for my birthday.
Michael: No plan, no money - perfect. How you attend to support yourself?
Hunter: I'll think of something.
Michael: I bet you will.
[Hunter goes towards the door but Ben stops him.]
Ben: If you need more - call us.
Michael: What the f*ck are you doin'?
[Hunter returns his house key to Ben. Michael stops him as he’s walking out the door.]
Michael: Hunter, wait. Just put it in your shoe, some place safe.
[Hunter leaves and they’re both upset.]
[At the loft, Justin is on the computer and Brian above in the bedroom.]
Brian: Hot or not?
Justin: Hot [without any look]
Brian: That's what I sound a resounding approval.
[He tugs that shirt off, throwing it aside and goes to his closet for another.]
Justin: By the way we've sold out the last copy of the marriage issue and we've got orders for over 300 more.
[Brian tries on another shirt that looks almost exactly like his last one.]
Brian: If not having any balls is what it takes to be a gay superhero these days then Rage should get out of Gayopolis.
Justin: You know, if you didn’t stay out alll night long f*cking maybe you wouldn’t be so cranky.
Brian: Who said I was f*cking?
Justin: You? I'm sure there must have been someone.
Brian:Yeah, but someone else got him.
Justin: Finally, some competition.
Brian: I don't think you get it.
Justin: That someone rejected you? Got the prime piece of meat? It happens to everyone.
Brian: One little suggestion but the leading is clear, it has started. It's began.
[Brian tries on another shirt]
Brian: How about this one? [no answer]
Justin: You know, when I was in LA f*cking around, it was fun and all, but when I came back and you said the offer still stand and I put my stuff here I was hoping it meant we were finally going to be a real couple, like Michael and Ben. One day we might have things they have. A house, maybe even a family.
[Brian hears him but makes no reply.]
Brian: How is this?
[Justin doesn’t answer so Brian turns back to the mirror, answering himself.]
Brian: Hot!
[Music: Going Nowhere - Cut Copy]
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "05x06 - Bored Out of Ya f*cking Mind"} | foreverdreaming |
[Begins with Brian surveying Babylon. sh*ts of dancers. He walks down the stairs and wanders through the crowd.]
Guy#1: He's amazing!
Guy#2: Unbelievable.
Guy#1: When did he moved to town?
Guy#2: Few weeks ago.
[Brian smiles.]
Guy#1: I guess his name is Brandon.
[Brian is not happy suddenly and turns to see Brandon standing at the bar. Brandon looks bored.]
Guy#1: I've heard he has the most beautiful cock.
[Ben is sitting alone in Hunter's old room, looking sad. Michael walks to the door.]
Michael: I've rolled over but you weren't there. What do you doin'?
Ben: Sitin' here, thinking.
Michael: Why you didn't come to bed?
Ben: I can't sleep.
Michael: Ben...
Ben: I keep wondering...
Michael: ...where he his?
Ben: ... and hoping that he is alright.
Michael: Yeah, me too.
Ben: I keep searching for something, something that... we could have said, we should have said change his mind.
Michael: And know you found it? What we should have said? That's because there isn't anything. His was determined to leave. So he left, there wasn't anything we could have done to stopped him. Why you're beating yourself up over it?
Ben: Because he was my blood. You still have your healthy daughter, Michael. She'd be loved, send to a good school, raising in a world where she has every chance, every opportunity - not like Hunter, who had nothing, less than nothing. I want give him all the things he never had.
Michael: So did I.
Ben: But I've failed.
Michael: You didn't failed.
Ben: Yes, I did. I did failed.
Michael: We gave him a home. Everything we could of ourselves to make him part of our family.
Ben: So why isn't he still here?
[Ted f*cking Troy. They collapse in bed afterwards, Troy looking at Ted with love in his eyes. Cut to the gym.]
Emmett: So you'd f*ck him over?
Ted: Did I ever - f*cked him over the couch, over the counter, over the coffee table...
Brian: What do you think you are, Theodore? Me?
Ted: I must admit - it was pretty impressive.
Emmett: But after you plowed him so deep that when you really give it him him, right? Right!? [no answer] Teddy?
Ted: Not yet.
Emmett: What do you mean, not yet?
Ted: Why rush it? It's all so... delicious.
Emmett: Have you forgetten what he did to you, how he humiliated you?
Brian: And pitty f*ck.
Ted: Thanks for the memories. That's why I'm waiting exactly for the right moment when the revelation who I am has maximum impact.
Brian: I would interject. They say revenge is the best plan but in this particular instance is the dish bastard hot, hard, and as many times as possible.
Emmett: And you served it as many times as MacDonalds. Remember your plan? Your strategie. I say screw Troy the sticky place.
Brian: Better yet, just screw.
[Lindsay's mother is checking out her new place. She has brought groceries by.]
Nancy: I know I had no idea you living under such conditions.
Lindsay: What conditions? It's a perfect decently apartment.
Nancy: But perfectly decent is not good enough for my daughter.
Lindsay: But in the moments it's all your daughter can afford. You didn't have to do all this.
Nancy: Here, just as you like. Glace cookies. I just don't see why she has the house.
Lindsay: Well, it was my decision to leave.
Nancy: But still it doesn't seem fair.
Lindsay: At the moment fair is not a word in my vocabolary.
Nancy: Darling. I know we had our differences. And you've no idea how much it's hurt me. But consider your currently situation - could we don't just pull that behind us?
Lindsay: I'd like nothing better.
Nancy: Good, then come live with us.
Lindsay: What!?
Nancy: Your dad and I talked it over and we think it's a plented idea if you and Gus would move in. At least you got your life together.
Lindsay: I don't think that is a very good idea, mom.
Nancy: But we have plenty of room. And I promise not to get in your way.
Lindsay: It's not just that. I can barely keep it myself.
Nancy: I would love to get the chance to know him, so would your father.
Lindsay: As much as I appreciate the opportunity...
Nancy: Before you say no, you think of all the money you've save. But most of all - more the chance to be a family again.
[Emmett, Justin, Michael, Mel and J.R. at the diner, all sitting in a booth together. Michael's playing with the baby.]
Debbie: Tuna for Michael, cheese bacon for sunshine and for the q*eer Guy a bootless burger.
Emmett: Just like me.
Debbie: What?
Emmett: My producer inform me that in the future when I'm on-screen I have no ass, no dick, no sexuality. I am, as Brian point out a ball-less unit. Who's porpuse in life is to entertain the straight folks. In fact, I shouldn't even call a h*m*. From now on call me a h*m*-inaffectual.
[Mel is reading from the newspaper.]
Mel: Oh, no!
Emmett: Oh yes, apparently Pittsburgh isn't ready to look at the fact that queers are anatomical correct but they actual use all the parts.
Mel: That's not just Pittsburgh. "Yesterday afternoon Family America serveral citience are announce they have enough signature for Proposition 14 placed at the upcoming stage of ellection. If past the controversial measure could dissolve alot of rights between same sex couples."
Debbie: That's g*dd*mn f*ck! They're did it again. It's not enough they say no to marriage, they could go after everything!?
Michael: C'mon, ma. Don't overreact.
Mel: "Proposition 14 is the is the most h*m* pieces in the country's history would effectifly negate Powers of Attorney, custody arrangements, join bank accounts, domestic partnerships, domestic partnership benefits."
Michael: Holy shit! That is everything!
Debbie: Who says don't overreact?
Mel: That's what the other people says once. Next thing you know they've been shipped off the caps.
[Michael and Justin talking at the comic book.]
Justin: They can't do such things, can they?
Michael: They already have - in Virginia. And a dozen other states are trying do the same.
Justin: But if that happens they would destroy everything you and Ben have worked for. That you've built together.
Michael: Tell me about it. I could loose my health insurrence from Ben's job, they can invalidate our mortgage. We can loose the house.
Justin: And what about your plans to adopt Hunter?
Michael: If he ever comes back.
Justin: Sorry.
Michael: It's not just Ben and me. It's everyone - it's Mel and Linds and the kids. Eli and Monty. Maybe even you.
Justin: Me?
Michael: If you and Brian, maybe...
Justin: We won't.
Michael: Well, you never know. He could mellow.
Justin: He is not a hearty heart, Michael. He's not going to mellow. Whatever those Prop. take away, it is something that he would nevergave me in the first place.
[At Mel's house.]
Mel: You actually consider to live with them?
Lindsay: It's seems like a perfectly option.
Mel: Yeah, so is jumping over a roof.
Lindsay: Alright, enough. They're still my family.
Mel: A family that never accepted you or me or our children. A family that basicly disowned you, doesn't speak with you, had nothing to do with you and suddenly they show up the blue and rescue you? That's not goin'.
Lindsay: But it's possible for people to change.
Mel: People - yes. Your parent - no.
Lindsay: She says she want to know her grandson to make a maths.
Mel: Uh-huh.
Lindsay: And getting live together an apartment will take the pressure of me and our financily.
Mel: Well, when it's the worth of price.
Lindsay: If there only admit they were wrong, change their minds, learn from their mistakes - then I would, at least consider, of it.
[Mel sighs dejectly and goes upstairs.]
[More Ted f*cking Troy. Everywhere, all over the place, in every position. They collapse on the floor in exhaustion. Troy is kinda cuddling Ted. Ted stares up at the ceiling and sees his Good Conscience (Emmett) and his Bad Conscience (Brian) on hand to give advice.]
Emmett: "Congratulations, Ted. That's your thirth time tonight."
Ted: Who's keeping score?
Emmett: "I am. Look at him - so smug, so satisfied - now's the perfect time to send him off with his not unattractive tail between his legs."
Brian: "What the f*ck for? You've got the son-of-a-bitch where you want him with the ass in the air. And it's not a bad."
Emmett: "Don't listen to him! Tell!"
Brian: "What the hell does he know? f*ck!"
Ted: Would you get off my back!
Troy: Huh?
Ted: Nothing, just a getting little heavy, that's all.
Troy: If something wrong just tell me.
Ted: Actually there is...
[Devil Brian shakes his head]
Emmett: "Go for it, Teddy! C'mon, it's your chance."
Ted: You, uh,... [long pause] you want to go to Babylon tomorrow night?
Brian: [shakes with laughter.]
Emmett: Where is your backbone?"
Brian: "Where is the lube"?
[Justin sitting alone at the loft, looking very thoughtful. Brian comes home and goes to the fridge, getting out a bottle of water. There's a flashback to season one when Brian first brings Justin to the loft and pours the bottle of water over himself. ]
Brian: Babylon was packed tonight.
Justin: It's nice.
Brian: Line were over the block.
Justin: Great(!)
Brian: It was hard to move on the dancefloor.
Justin: Whatever if happens they all means, keep on dancing.
Brian: How about you, dear? How was your evening?
Justin: Not nearly as exciting as yours. I spend it here, alone, thinking. And don't say, it's always a dangerous sign.
[He's walked into the kitchen with Brian so that they're standing face to face now.]
Justin: I made some decisions.
Brian: About what?
Justin: My life. What I want.
Brian: I though you already worked out. Your gotta live off your considerable Hollywood wealth while trying his hand at being an artist.
Justin: Why your making fun of me?
Brian: I'm not making funny. You making me f*cking nervous just... tell me what you want and what you decided and we can go to bed and f*ck.
Justin: You already know what I want. Why I always repead?
Brian: That's right, you have. A husband, a family, a home, all the things that makes life worth living.
Justin: Would you f*cking cut it out!? Just stop it. And I know you can't give me those things.
Brian: Not can't. Can't implies that I'm incapable. It's that, I won't.
Justin: I accept that. That's suppose why I'm always love you.
Brian: Oh, the untamable beast.
Justin: But to be a couple, though, both people have to want the same things, to move in the same direction. If they can't or won't, they have no where to go.
Brian: Probably not.
Justin: So why are we still doing this if we both know it's never going to work?
Brian: Damned if I know.
[Justin walks to the bedroom then, puts on his jacket and picks up his already packed bags. Justin and Brian meet in front of the door. Justin drops his bags and hugs Brian. After a long moment, Brian returns the hug.]
Brian: Where you goin'?
Justin: I don't figured it out.
[Justin gathers his bags and walks to the door.]
Brian: Let me know...
[Justin closes the door, a sad Brian turns away.]
[Lindsay's dad is playing with Gus.]
Ron: Oh my godness, you're turned into a monster.
Nancy: Be careful, Ron, your back.
Ron: [to Gus] Hey partner, you wanna see your room? Would you ladies excuse us?
[They leave and let the ladies alone. Lindsay unpacks her things.]
Nancy: Didn't I tell you, he'd be thrilled?
Lindsay: Mom!
Nancy: What?
Lindsay: You have my prom picture out!
Nancy: I always loved that picture.
Lindsay: Look at that hair, and the gown. It's embarracing.
Nancy: Not to me. You're as handsome as I just sit here.
Lindsay: You do?
Nancy: Sometimes I feel it's all I left from you.
Lindsay: Thanks, mom - for being so generous.
Nancy: It's a pleasure for me. By the way we have some people coming for diner tonight. It's nothing formal. It's from dad's office.
Lindsay: Don't worry, I'll don't be in your way. I stay up here, take a bath, read.
Nancy: I'm happy if you would join us.
Lindsay: It's been a long day...
Nancy: I understood. Whatever you like. But if you change our mind, I was making your favourite. I was wish as a welcome-home diner.
Lindsay: Oh, then I suppose I have no choice.
Nancy: It's so good you're back.
[Ben sitting on the couch with a book but he's not reading it. He's sadly staring out into space. Michael comes up behind him and starts rubbing his shoulders.]
Michael: You're reading the DVD titles? I do it sometimes and think that I need glasses. "Singing in the Rain", "Someone make it hot", "Dirty Harry". Oh yeah, I remember that was a p*rn film. [no response.] Hey, I'm joking. OK, it wasn't very funny. How come you with me to bed, bath and begone and throw pillows in the bed? It says it's stylish and an expensive. Of course you don't need a pillow to enlife your room, do we? Ben?
Ben: I remember, we watching those movies with Hunter. He'd never heard of St.Number 8 - he'd loved it. He watched it 49 times.
Michael: And that was even after he wasn't gay. Please, come with me.
Ben: Everything in the house reminds me him, whereever I look.
Michael: That's why it's maybe a good idea to get out for a while and take off your mind for a thing. [no answer] Listen, there is meeting at the Gay and Lesbian Center tomorrow night. About this Proposition 14.
Ben: So?
Michael: So we should go. They're gonna need new volunteers, who'd better than is intelligent, well- informed and not to mention hot than you?
Ben: Last thing I wanna think about it right now is another gay cause.
Michael: It's not just another gay cause. When we got married you said it was just a beginning. And now it's look like it's the beginning of the end. Listen, I just as sad about it as you are. Everytime I hear that door open, or the phone ring - I think it's him. I just though we both feel better when we got involved to something.
Ben: I didn't wanna be involved in something, ok!? I give a shit about proposition 14 or 15 or 16! All I care about is where is he. Is he alright. Am I ever going to see him again. So let's somebody else set in this g*dd*mn commity. I've given enough!
[Justin, Debbie, and Emmett handing out pamphlets against Prop. 14]
Debbie: I can't believe he let you walk out. Didn't he try to stop you?
Justin: I didn't expected, too.
Emmett: Well, if either of you had ever bothered to read Jackie Collins would know, in the last chapter the hero finally realises that he has loved the heroine - in this case, that heroine would be you - all along and begs him to stay.
Justin: That's why it's called fiction.
Debbie: Fight propossion 14!
Justin: There is a meeting tomorrow in the Center.
Man#1: You people need Jesus in your life.
Emmett: Yeah, and you would needed a good blowjob. That if you need someone that give you one and DON'T look at me!
Debbie: That no good son of a bitch how could he do that to you!? After all these years.
Justin: He didn't do anything. I wanted one thing - and he wanted another. And since neither of us could give the other what they need it we decided it's the best to move on.
Emmett: So, where you gonna go?
Debbie: You can always be back in Debbie's Warming House and sharing Emmett's room.
Emmett: Perhaps Emmett would be consulted to that?
Justin: Don't worry, I've already have things worked out. I've stay with Ben and Michael until I've got a place of my own.
Debbie: A place of your own? At your age?
Justin: Deb, I'm not a kid anymore.
Emmett: Your never a kid.
Debbie: I know, I've always be kid to me.
Justin: Besides I've made it on my own.
Emmett: Like Marry.
Justin: I will always miss Brian and I always wish we were still together but this will be good for me. Right?
Emmett: Right.
Debbie: Yeah, right. Damn-right.
[At Ron and Nancy's dinner party, their guests include a married couple and an attractive single man.]
Ellen: Excuse me folks, I gotta go pee again. Damn prostate.
Nancy: Al!en, please!
Allen: Don't be embarred, honey, as long as I don't show my hemorrhoids.
Nancy: What can I say, Al is Al.
Man: I'm afraid I'm too young for this crowd, my prostate still working. But I'm be glad to show you my tennis arm, if you like.
Lindsay: [Laughs] It's ok. So you work with me dad?
Man: For now 5 years. He's a great guy. And you? You working in the city bloom galery?
Lindsay: [surprised] Yes! That's right.
Man: I don't have much time to go in the galeries. But I did to managed the Sam Allerbach show. You have anything to do that?
Lindsay: Actually I put it together.
Man: Really? You did a great job. And a miracle to the templates, but of course, I'm not an expert.
Lindsay: You are an expert if you knew something you like.
Nancy: You folks get bored from pictures from last year cruise. Why won't you two make an escape? We call you for desert.
[At Babylon, Emmett finds Ted at the bar.]
Emmett: Teddy.
Ted: Oh, hi Em.
Emmett: Quit all the greetings, I want details. How you told him. Have he died in shame? Or be catering the momorial service?
Ted: Can you stop all the questions?
Emmett: Oh my god(!)
Ted: What?
Emmett: It's just what I afraid of. I can see it in your eyes.
Ted: What you talkin' about!?
Emmett: You fall for him, haven't you? Admit it! It's true.
Ted: Look, here's Brian. Brian, buddy, it's great to see you.
Emmett: Brian, why are you here?
Brian: Why am I here? That's a question that left for science and theologic can asking themselves a thousands of years. Best I came up with it - we're live in Pittsburgh. Where the hell else I could go?
Ted: What we mean is we didn't expect to see you considering you and Justin broke up.
Emmett: You must devastated.
Ted: We're so sorry.
Brian: Thanks for the simplicies. [to the bartender] Another. Look at all it's it - but I'm not devastated. We your not sorry, so please spare me the sentimence and the syntometallicy.
[The boys turn to face the crowd and there is Brandon.]
Ted: That's a relief. We though your dying for broken heart-ache.
Emmett: Silly for us to thing you have one.
Brian: I'm doin' just fine.
Ted: Yeah, we can see.
Brian: And I'm sure Justin is too.
Emmett: He's doin' better than fine. He's picked himself up, dusted himself up and started it all over again.
Brian: Glad to hear. You sure you give him my regards next time you see him.
Ted: You tell yourself next time your over at Michael's and Ben's.
Emmett: He's living with them.
[Brian turns back to the bar and orders another drink.]
[Lindsay chatting it.]
Man: So I said to him, "Why you cancel your playdate?" And he said, I swear, "Daddy, I can play with my friend." I said, "What friend?" And then when he showed me. [he looks at his dick.]
Lindsay: [laughs] No!
Man: Yes, that's how he called his penis - his friend. I can't believe it - he's 5.
Lindsay: Thank god Gus didn't discovered his friend.
Man: So I told my ex - she got all upsat about it, why didn't I go to a shrink? And because I though it was funny she said I should go to a shrink, too. And then it turned into a competition about where is the better parent...
Lindsay: I know all about it, believe me.
Man: Would you mind if I stop by in the galery some afternoon to hook you to lunch?
Lindsay: That'll be great.
Man: How about Thursday?
Lindsay: That's fine. Oh, but just to be fair, there is something you should know. I'm a lesbian.
Man: Oh(!)
Lindsay: It's that a problem?
Man: No, it's... it's not a problem. It's just not exactly what they told me with the invite for diner.
Lindsay: What exactly did they tell you?
Man: They just said that you just broken up... with a man.
[At Babylon, Ted is at the bar still when Troy shows up.]
Troy: Hey, hot guy.
Ted: Hey, there you are.
Troy: I brough some friends. I want them to meet you.
Ted: Your friends are mine.
[Emmett dances by.]
Emmett: Aunt Pity f*ck, Aunt Pity f*ck.
Troy: Who's that?
Ted: Some FREAK!
Man#1: Troy!
Troy: Oh, hey.
Man#1: Remember me? We had a date few months ago.
Troy: Sure, right, right, right, right. So, how was I?
Man#1: Hot. You said you'd call, but you lost my number, so I give it to you again. Promise not to loose it.
Troy: Word of honor.
[Troy takes it but rips it up as soon as the guy walks off.]
Troy: f*cking loosers. They just don't get it, don't they? These guys I felt sorry for them. I can't help it. It's my nature, so I have sex with them. Give them some remember for a long, great dick. But it's never enough. How pitful. f*cking pityful.
Ted: Yeah, I know what you mean. I was one of them.
Troy: What!? But your hot.
Ted: Well, you didn't think back then. Pride 2002.
Troy: I though something was familiar with you.
Ted: Back then I was one of your pity f*ck. That fact you made painfully clear. And guess what - now your mine. I purposely set this up, I sought you out. I waited for the right moment. Guess this it.
Troy: You kidding, right?
Ted: Afraid not. Hey, look it this way - you always have something to remember me about.
Troy: You dumping me!?
Ted: It's a f*g f*g world.
Troy: f*ck you. You know, I liked you, a lot. I really do.
[He leaves. From the catwalk, Emmett applauds Ted. But Ted turns back to the bar, not looking too happy with himself.]
[Ben comes downstairs to the sound of someone banging on his door late at night.]
Ben: OK, ok!
[It's Brian, who is pissed and drunk.]
Ben: Brian!
Brian: Excellent, professor. You recognize the subject can identify by name.
Ben: We're goin' to bed.
Brian: That's right, I forgot, the stepford husband turn in bed early!
Ben: Come in here, you're wake the whole neighbourhood.
Brian: I want to see your wife. Where is the little woman? I mean little husband.
Ben: If you refrerring from Michael...
Brian: Who the f*ck else I referring!?
Ben: He's alseep!
Brian: Well then! WAKE HIM UP! MICHAEL!?
Ben: Alright, you better go!
Brian: I'm not goin' anywhere.
Ben: Well I just said...
Brian: MICHAEL!
Ben: Get the ass out of my house!
Michael: Ben, it's ok. I handle it - just go to bed.
Ben: You sure?
[Ben goes upstairs.]
Brian: Well, Mikey, congratulations!
Michael: For what!?
Brian: You won. The spoiler goes to victory.
Michael: I don't know what you're talking about!
Brian: Of course you don't. No-one plays dewy-eyed innocent better than you. Although I thinks you are a little long in the tooth for short pants.
Michael: Speaking of out growing one's act. Nothing is more pathetic, if this you're favourite words, than an over the hill club boy.
Brian: You infected him. With your pity burgua, mediocer, conformice, simulationist life! That's to you he's got visions, babies, weddings, white picky fences dancing in his blond little head.
Michael: And you think I put it in him?
Brian: Before you and your husband are on the news he was perfectly happy! And now, he the infector, just as the rest of you.
Michael: He was NEVER perfectly happy. Waiting for years to hear from you, "I love you. You're the only one.
Brian: That's not who I am.
Michael: Don't we all know!
Brian: And now he's here in your house...
Michael: It's a home.
Brian: It's a farce! It's a freak show!
Michael: Call it if you want, but it doesn't care. But he didn't leave because I infected him. He left because of you! Who wouldn't?
[Brian turns and walks out of the house. Justin standing at the top of the staircase having over-heard the fight.]
[Nancy comes up to say good-night to Lindsay.]
Nancy: Knock, knock. I just want to say good night. Did you enjoyed dinner?
Lindsay: Your meal was delicious.
Nancy: All could not stop talking about how wonderful you are.
Lindsay: That's nice.
Nancy: Good night, darling. Sleep well.
Lindsay: Mom? Why you invited him tonight?
Nancy: He's your fathers associate. And I though you might have someone to talk to.
Lindsay: That was very thoughful.
Nancy: You seemed to be enjoying yourself.
Lindsay: I liked him very much.
Nancy: I'm really glad to hear it.
Lindsay: But not in that way. I'm a lesbian, mother. You know that.
Nancy: I though it was all over it.
Lindsay: All over?
Nancy: Your sister told me that you had been with a man.
Lindsay: What a c**t! That happens once and was a mistake.
Nancy: Why it was a mistake? Perhaps if you given it more time - you might find a mature relationship.
Lindsay: I've had a mature relationship.
Nancy: [sighs] With that person?
Lindsay: Melanie, mother! Not THAT person! And yes, she was my partner for 10 years. And that's a hell longer than 3 marriages my loving sister had. We have two children together. Yeah, that's not mature. I can't believe I still have go through this with you.
Nancy: I'm sorry, dear. But it's not just the same. It isn't. If I heard you had a relationship with a man I was hoping, that...
Lindsay: What? That I'll be the daughter you always dreamed of? Well I'm not, mom. And I never will be. So if that's why you asking me to come to live here, I'm afraid to disappoint you - once again.
[Pissed off Brian back at Babylon. He sees Brandon on the dancefloor getting a blowjob. Brian calls the bouncer over.]
Bouncer: What's up, boss?
Brian: See that?
Bouncer: How can I miss it?
Brian: You don't do anything about it?
Bouncer: Kids hot, attractiv guys, sells drinks.
Brian: f*ck the drinks, if he want his dick sucked he can take his ass in the backroom.
Bouncer: I tell him.
Brian: Wait. Tell him, he's barred permamently.
Bouncer: Oh, c'mon Brian.
Brian: Do it! Now!
[Brian keeps downing drinks and watches as the Bouncer goes over and tells Brandon he's now barred from the club. Brandon's not pleased and Brian mockingly raises a glass to him in toast as the Bouncer leads him from the club. ]
[Ben is lecturing his class.]
Ben: In the recent Hollywood movie about the trojan w*r there was a small, but very significant alteration. In the legend by Homer in the ancient. Achilles' did'nt go to w*r because the Greeks k*lled Patroclos, his cousin. He went to battle because they k*lled Patrocols, his LOVER...
Student#1: Excuse me professor, but what different does it make when they change some old legend like what else isn't change?
Ben: Because that old legend was re-written to admit a very important truth that the h*m* which infects our culture didn't always exist. There were great and powerful cultures in which the emotional and sexual love between two men was accepted, even among warriors.
Student#2: Yeah good for them, but what about us?
Student#3: But we're talking about the Tojan w*r, but they want to take our rights away.
Ben: I understand your concern but right now we are here to discuss gay imagery in mytology and history.
Student#2: If Prop. 14 passes pretty soon we'll be history.
[Justin and Jennifer checking out his new place.]
Jennifer: What a dump! It isn't funny.
Justin: You are fabulous, Betty Davis, or is Jennifer Taylor as good as Betty Davis?
Jennifer: I'm not doin' fabulous to anybody. All I know is, this is a disgusting place and you not living here.
Justin: I love it.
Jennifer: Are you crazy?
Justin: If I am, I have you and Debbie.
Jennifer: It's tiny, it smells like something you never need died here, you have to share your bathroom down the hall with god knows who crack head!? Not to mention, you can't go out of the street after dark.
Justin: On the other hand I can afford it, it's got great light and best of all, it's my own place.
Jennifer: So quite a comedown from Brian's place.
Justin: You weren't so thrilled when I moved in there.
Jennifer: I know, I guess not. I just wish that you... I can't believe to hearing actually myself say this...
Justin: What?
Jennifer: But you and he could work things out.
Justin: Yeah, me too.
Jennifer: I mean, it's not that he lied to you or abused you or cheated you like your father did to me...
Justin: No, of course not. He save my life , take care of me, gave me everything. It's just we want different things.
Jennifer: And neither of you are willing to change.
Justin: That's not love, that's sacrifice.
[Lindsay at Mel's. She has put Gus down for the night in his old room.]
Lindsay: He fell asleep with the second his head h*t the pillow.
Mel: He must be glad to be in his old room with some bang.
Lindsay: I don't blame him.
Mel: I'm try to catch up a new grill.
Lindsay: If you wanna say it, go right ahead.
Mel: Those words never escape my lips.
Lindsay: Why not? You were right. It's funny no matter what you know up here [she points to her head] you hope against hope in here [she points to her heart]. That your parents at least will love you in one condition.
Mel: We'll try to parents our kids.
[Lindsay take her coat and want to leave]
Mel: Where you goin'?
Lindsay: To the hotel, I guess - place for tonight.
Mel: Take your coat off.
Lindsay: What?
Mel: Take your coat off - your stayin' here tonight.
Lindsay: I dunno if that's a good idea.
Mel: Neither do I, but you must stayin' anyway.
Lindsay: You sure?
Mel: I make us tea and make some cheese and figure something out.
[Brian, Ted and Emmett at Woody's.]
Brian: Another beer.
Emmett: And another Cosmo and a diet Pepsi on me.
Brian: Big spender. What's the occasion?
Emmett: We're celebrating. Teddy finally put that prick Troy in his proper place.
Brian: Up the tight bubble?
Emmett: Out on his ass! He is no longer a pity f*ck.
Brian: Congratulations, Theodore, it's rare a man who get you get laid.
[Brian goes away.]
Emmett: Just start of curiousity - how great was he?
Ted: Beyond great. Amazing. The best.
Emmett: Do you still have his phone number?
[Brian goes off to play pool when Brandon shows up.]
Brandon: What the f*ck is your problem?
Brian: Your hands on my stick.
Brandon: Why you banned me from your club?
Brian: Because I can. Getting sucked off at the dance floor was a very serious offense.
Brandon: Except when it's you.
Brian: Membership has it's previleges.
Brandon: I think you threw me out because you afraid I'll get the hottest guy.
Brian: I am the hottest guy.
Brandon: You mean, was.
Brian: Since when?
Brandon: Since me. Even the mightest one day must fall. The king is abdicted...
Brian: Oh Lord, please, spare us some cliches. Listen, twerp, you think you could be the best by showing up and annoncing that you are? You have to prove it first.
Brandon: I though I already have.
Brian: By picking off a couple of twinks before I got them? You will have to do better than that.
Brandon: Then how about we pick? Say the ten hottest guy we can find.
Brian: And who f*ck them all first wins.
Brandon: You know the game.
Brian: I also know the outcome.
Brandon: I admire your confidence but they say every star burns bright you before they burns out.
Brian: Uuuh, say you win?
Brandon: I get into Babylon. And IF you win?
Brian: I get into you.
[Meeting in the Gay and Lesbian Center against Prop. 14.]
Debbie: Michael! We save seats.
Emmett: Hey honey, where's Ben?
Michael: He had other things to do.
Debbie: What other things are important to this?
Tanis: Good evening, everyone and thank you for coming.
Philip: I guess we all know why we're here to join in the state wide afford to defeat Prop.14!
[All cheers]
Tanis: That's the spirit we gonna need in order to win. Here to help us is one of the organizers of "Stop Prop.14" Congresswoman Beth Attlestein.
[All cheers]
Congresswoman: Thank all of you for coming tonight. As you know, our right as full and equal citizens of the United States are being thr*at. Not by outside forces or t*rrorists - but by our own goverment, by religicious leaders to strip off of our humanity and claiming that god is on their side. And by other Americans acting out of hate and ignorance. We have got to stop them. But it's not gonna be easy. "Vote to save America" - can you believe that that's they calling theirselves? Has many supporters and well-funder.
[A sign up sheet for volunteers is being passed around. Michael is signing it when Ben walks up behind him.]
Ben: Can I sign up?
Congresswoman: Your family and yourself to donate as much time and money as you can. Volunteer to serve on various commities, make calls, go to the neighbourhoods, sign up and fight as if your future depends on. Because it does.
[Emmett, Ted, Justin and Debbie leaving the meeting.]
Debbie: Whoever though it come to this? Fighting for our lifes.
Emmett: Well, we'll always had to do.
Ted: Now we just doin' harder.
Justin: I'm up for it.
Debbie: Me too, sunshine.
[He kisses Debbie, Emmett, and Ted good-bye. Ted, Em, and Debbie leave and Justin walks off in the opposite direction. Michael and Ben come out of the meeting.]
Michael: I'm glad your change your mind. How come?
Ben: With the eyes strictly fix at the past he fails to see the future. So, by the present we'll destoy.
Michael: I guess you tell me, if you didn't do anything and we lost you never forgive yourself.
Ben: You got it.
[They go off together. Brian is walking down the street when he seems Justin coming towards him.]
Brian: Hey. How was the meeting?
Justin: You should have been there.
Brian: I'm not Rage, saving Gayopolis is my thing. You doin' ok?
Justin: Yeah, I'm fine. And you?
Brian: Likewise, thanks for asking.
Justin: Well I guess, I better get go.
Brian: Me too. Take care yourself.
Justin: You too.
Brian: See ya.
Justin: See ya.
[Justin walks off. Brian's facade falls then and he sadly watches Justin go away.]
Music:
You Are My Sunshine - Stine J
END OF EPISODE | {"type": "series", "show": "Queer As Folk", "episode": "05x07 - Hope Against Hope"} | foreverdreaming |
FRANCE 1557: Mary, Queen of Scots, has been hidden away at a convent for her safety since age 9. Engaged since childhood to the future king of France, she awaits her return to the french court
AT A CONVENT:
(Mary and her fellow countrymen are seen playing an early version of football. Until they all gather around a table to eat together. Everyone is sitting, passing food around and chatting amongst themselves. For some reason, Mary focuses her attention on a nun sitting on the opposite end of the table. Suddenly, blood and a frothy substance start to drip from her mouth and ears, until she falls face-first into her plate, causing a young girl to scream and everyone else to panic. One of the nuns grabs Mary by the arm and leads her away from the table)
NUN: You must leave immediately. This was an assassination attempt. You were nearly poisoned.
MARY: By who?
NUN: Someone with ties to the Protestant throne of England, no doubt. They'll be found and dealt with.
(Meanwhile, a group is heading toward the convent on horseback)
MARY: Poor Sister Helen; I didn't know.
NUN: That she was your taster? Every meal you've eaten has been tasted for poison since you left your mother's breast, Mary, you are the Queen of Scotland.
(After gathering her things and preparing to leave, Mary is greeted one final time by the women who have been protecting her)
GIRL (whispering): Look at her. She is beautiful.
(As she makes her way through the crowd, they part for her)
MARY (to the nun): I don't know if I'm ready.
NUN (trying to sooth her nerves): To leave here, or marry the future King of France?
MARY: Both. I hoped I would get to go back to Scotland one last time.
NUN: Your friends from Scotland will be there. Girls you've known your whole life. You're safer in French Court. You're nearly a woman, and Francis is nearly a man. It's time.
(Queen Mary and the sister hug one final time, while horse can be heard approaching them in the background)
NUN: You will wed young Francis, someday soon, for your faith, for your people, for Scotland. He will love you.
MARY: I'm not sure that matters.
NUN: It does to you.
(A little girl begins tugging on Mary's overcoat. She is holdng a rosary in her hands)
GIRL: Mary
MARY: Rose.
ROSE: Be careful. There are ghosts there.
MARY: At the castle?
ROSE: They say the halls are filled with them. Tortured souls; a girl, whose face is a ruin. She hides it.
MARY (trying to reassure the girl): I was at French Court before, you know, when I was your age. I didn't see any ghosts.
ROSE: But what if they saw you?
(Mary seems a bit spooked by the sentiment, but before she can say anything else, she is interrupted by one of the men on horseback)
GUARD: Your Grace.
(She takes the rosary and goes to enter the waiting carriage. She takes one last look around and gets in the carriage to ride away)
ROYAL HOUSE OF FRANCE:
(A dashing young man is seen running down the stairwell, tinkering with his outfit. As he lands downstairs, he is met by his illegitimate half brother; Sebastian, or 'Bash' for short)
FRANCIS: Sebastian.
BASH: Francis, they were looking for you everywhere. Tough to find you.
FRANCIS: I was riding.
BASH: Really? Who?
(Francis chuckles at the insinuation and continues fumbling with his outfit. He turns around to let Bash help him get situated)
FRANCIS: So, Bash, how's the mood?
BASH: Father's or the mood in general? Tense to both -- Planning for your sister's wedding.
FRANCIS: Is your mother in there?
BASH: No, only royals and their attendants allowed, BUT, your mother is in fine form, God save you. I'm off now that you're here.
(Bash slaps Francis on the arm and rushes off)
FRANCIS (mumbling to himself): Lucky bastard.
(Despite his attempts, Bash hears him anyway)
ELSEWHERE IN THE CASTLE:
(Women have gathered around by the dozens, watching as King Henry tries on a suit and models it for them)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Mary should be protected. Hidden.
KING HENRY: So you've claimed.
(A young girl is also trying on a beautiful wedding gown)
KING HENRY: You also claimed she needed to be kept at convent for her education, when we both know she simply irritated you.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Mary's arrival now upstages our daughter's wedding.
KING HENRY: It's the perfect occasion to showcase the alliance with Scotland. Half the continent's royalty will be feeding at our trough.
(Francis walks by as the two continue to bicker, catching the attention of a pretty brunette)
QUEEN CATHERINE: There are those that say too many alliances make a king look weak. KING HENRY: Then why did we sell our daughter to Spain?
FRANCIS (putting an end to their bckering): I'm told I was needed. Or should I just come back on my wedding day? You've chosen my wife; have you set the date, too?
KING HENRY: Here's the date: when I say so. Or when England turns its sword in our direction. She's on her way.
FRANCIS: Mary Stuart, you mean. I heard.
KING HENRY: You don't sound very enthusiastic. You were playmates once.
FRANCIS: She had skinny legs, a missing front tooth and strong opinions.
KING HENRY: I'm sure the adult tooth has come in. The opinions you can ignore.
(Henry looks over at Catherine, asking for reassurance)
KING HENRY: Isn't that right, Catherine?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Her ladies-in-waiting are on their way as well.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Three titled, the other ridiculously rich.
(Catherine looks over to Henry)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Just your type.
KING HENRY: At least your bride has a country and an army, should you need it.
(Henry takes one more look at the two of them and leaves them be)
QUEEN CATHERINE (to Francis): I may not have been born with a crown, but this country relies on my money. (Catherine scoffs at Henry's aggressiveness) Let him talk like a king. Your wedding won't happen until I say so.
(Francis smiles at her warmly)
QUEEN CATHERINE (pressing her hand against his face): I'm on your side. Always. FRANCIS: I know.
ELSEWHERE:
(In a dirty, musky chamber, Nostradamus and Catherine have gathered around a plethora of different herbs. He presents her with something in a metal tin)
QUEEN CATHERINE (taking a whiff of it): That's disgusting.
NOSTRADAMUS: Where she puts it, he won't smell it. Unless he's a very good husband.
(Nostradamus breaks out in a wide grin)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Imagine that.
NOSTRADAMUS: You do want Elisabeth to bear sons.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh, as soon as possible. Or what is a wife's value? But what about my son Francis? What do your visions say about his future? Tell me, Nostradamus, what have you seen?
NOSTRADAMUS: I..I..I've had fleeting images, but as yet, their meaning is unclear. Perhaps if you were more specific about your concerns.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Well, will he love her? Will she love him? How do I control a daughter-in-law who's a queen in her own right?
NOSTRADAMUS: Is that what bothers you? Her power? Mm. Or the fact that she's young and pretty?
QUEEN CATHERINE (teasing him): I've just had a vision. I see you, beheaded, at my command. Said with gratitude for the secrets we share.
NOSTRADAMUS: Be patient. Answers will come.
(MEANWHILE: Outside and inside the castle, people have gathered around, awaiting Mary's arrivial. Horses can be heard, trumpets are playing)
LADY: There she comes.
(The royal family all walk outside to greet her, including Francis, who urges Bash to come with him. Henry is joined by his mistress, Diane. Outside, two carriages pull up; one with Mary and another with her ladies-in-waiting)
AYLEE (stepping out of the carriage): There's Mary.
(The carriage carrying Mary finally pulls up and comes to a stop. A gentleman offers her a hand getting out, she takes it and her ladies rush over to her. First, they bow to her and then they all hug)
GIRLS (said amongst laughter): Mary! We missed you so much!
MARY: Oh, Kenna, Greer, Lola, I'm so happy to see you.
(She smiles at each of them)
MARY: Aylee, we're all together again.
(After greeting the girls, Mary looks over to see the royal family looking on)
GREER' (trying to fix' Mary's hair): Oh, Mary, your hair. Didn't the nuns teach you anything?
(They all giggle)
MARY (looking over to see all of the trunks that are being unloaded): Oh, Greer, those can't all be clothes.
GREER: There's jewelry and silver, too. I'm making up in volume for what I lack in station, I suppose.
AYLEE: Here they come!
(A trumpet blows one last time; the royal family heads down the by-stander filled walkway)
ANNOUNCER: Your Highness: King Henry II ONE OF THE GIRLS: The king!
MARY: That's King Henry, but is that Catherine?
KENNA: No. They're still waiting on her. That's Diane de Portiers, the king's mistress.
GREER: So the rumors are true?
LOLA: Unlike her, you'll have no trouble finding husbands here.
KENNA: We'll certainly enjoy the hunt.
KENNA (to Lola): What about you? Oh, don't tell me. It's about that boy from Aberdeen.
LOLA: Colin said he'd wait for me.
GREER: Till when? We might never be back on Scottish soil, not if it all works out and Mary reigns here.
AYLEE: What do you mean, "if?"
GREER: Make no mistake, we're here now to get our young queen in the game. Alliances can shift. Before they do, Mary needs to win the prince's heart.
(Bash begins walking toward Mary and the girls. Kenna rushes over to Mary)
KENNA: Is that Francis? He's gorgeous.
MARY: No, that's not Francis. I know it isn't.
KENNA: Then that must be Sebastian, the king's bastard; Diane's son. I hear the king favors him.
(Fanfare plays, as the Queen approaches them, bystanders bow to their knees)
GUARD: Her Majesty: Queen Catherine!
(Francis then walks to meet Mary)
MARY (smiling at Francis): I don't believe it.
FRANCIS (bowing to Mary): Your Grace.
MARY: No, call me Mary, please.
FRANCIS: Francis.
MARY (nervously): The castle seems bigger. Is that possible? And you, too, of course.
(Mary's ladies snicker at her from behind)
FRANCIS: Is that such a surprise?
MARY: No. Especially since your legs were always longer than mine. You know, I hated that when we were young. I was always chasing after you, but, now, uh, now it suits you.
(Francis makes a slight gesture toward Mary and they walk away together)
QUEEN CATHERINE (to Nostradamus): What is it? You've had a vision.
NOSTRADAMUS: It's clear now. I saw your son's future -- his union with Mary.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Well, say it.
NOSTRADAMUS: She will cost Francis his life.
(Catherine slinks back quietly, unsure of what to say)
INSIDE THE CASTLE:
WOMAN (to Mary's ladies): You have returned to the court at your own queen's bidding. As noble ladies, you must counsel her, prepare her, account for her. For the Princess Elisabeth's wedding, as with any event, you must acquaint yourselves, and Mary, with all visiting royalty and dignitaries. Who amongst you is fluent in Italian?
AYLEE (apprehensively): I suppose I am.
WOMAN: You will sit next to the Pope's cousin. He has no teeth and speaks very quickly.
(The girls erupt in laughter, while the woman rolls her eyes at their childishness)
LATER, UPSTAIRS:
(Later on that day, the girls sit around in front of a mirror, applying makeup and trying on dresses)
KENNA: Are these dresses from Paris?
AYLEE: Yes, every one.
LOLA: Oh If Colin could see me, he'd marry me in a second. I look of age now; we all do.
AYLEE: You know what I'd like to do? Explore. We haven't been here since we were children. Surely the castle's changed. Who's with me?
KENNA: I am!
MARY: Go. I'll find you later. There's something I want to see.
(Mary climbs up a creaking staircase that goes all the way to the top of the castle. She recalls memories she shared with Francis when they were small children)
YOUNG MARY (whispering): Francis is a girl's name.
(laughter echos throughout the hallowed hallways. When she finally makes it to the top of the stairs, she sees various children's toys, but a distant creak catches her attention. She follows the noise to a room where Francis is working)
FRANCIS (slightly startled): Mary.
MARY: Francis. Um, I didn't know you..
FRANCIS (interrupting her): What are you doing here?
MARY: I was exploring. These were my old rooms. Don't you remember?
FRANCIS: Not anymore. No one comes up here.
MARY: Except you. What is that? (looking at the array of different things that sit on a nearby table in the room) Is all of this yours?
FRANCIS: I-I make knives, and swords. At least, I'm trying to learn.
MARY: To be a bladesmith? Is that a requirement for future kings now?
FRANCIS: When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous, yes.
MARY: No, no, I think it's fantastic.
FRANCIS: But did you make all these? Why? I can't help thinking that every man, even a king, should have some kind of skill.
MARY: Well, you're going to be a great ruler someday. Isn't that enough?
FRANCIS: I hope I will be, but I meant a real skill. One that I didn't inherit, wasn't given to me and, and can't be taken away. My brother-- my half-brother, Bash-- he has so many. He wants to learn something, he does, he wants to go somewhere, he goes. With my father's blessing. They don't worry about him dying so much that they don't let him live.
MARY: Because he'll never be King. I can milk a goat and cut peat for the f*re. The nuns, you know.
FRANCIS (half laughing): Impressive. I suppose if there was ever an uprising that sent my line into hiding, I could always get by as a blacksmith.
MARY: But I'd save you. And we could go to Scotland and rule there.
FRANCIS (unsure of what to say): That's, a (clears throat), that's a very kind offer. I hope I never have to take you up on it.
(Francis heads back down to his chambers. When he enters the room, the brunette from earlier is waiting for him there)
FRANCIS: Natalia. Did anyone see you come in here?
NATALIA: No. They never do. They never will. Nothing's changed here.
(Natalia inches her way across the room, toward Francis. When she's within touching distance, she pulls her top down on her shoulders)
NATALIA: Nothing has to.
OUTSIDE THE CASTLE:
(Outside the castle, Mary sits by the water's edge with her dog, inspecting various pebbles that she holds in her hand. Suddenly, her dog begins growling and barking at a figure that stands near the entrance to the woods)
MARY (unnerved by the loud snarling): Stirling, no! Stirling! (trying to calm him) Come on, boy! Mary.
BACK INSIDE THE CASTLE:
(Mary knocks on Francis' door inside the castle)
FRANCIS: Mary. What is it?
(Mary holds up some of the pebbles she found near the water)
MARY: Um, I brought you something, to decorate your swords with.
FRANCIS: Now's not a good time. Next time, you should be announced. My page is there for a reason.
MARY: I don't understand.
FRANCIS: You shouldn't be here.
MARY: Why do you sound so... Are you alone? Are you with someone?
FRANCIS: If you are ever going to be the Queen of France, you need to understand something; Kings do not answer to their wives.
(Francis slams the door in Mary's face and she leaves his chambers. Inside the room, Francis stands with his back against his door, realizing that he was rude)
BACK OUTSIDE:
(After Francis was rude to her, Mary goes back to the lake and throws the pebbles back into the water, while her dog continues to bark at an unseen figure in the woods. Suddenly, he darts off into the woods)
MARY (taking off after him): Stirling; No, come back! Stirling! (the barking continues) Stirling? Stirling, come back!
(A group of men on horseback arrive back at the castle; led by the King's bastard; Sebastian)
BASH (to the men): Go on.
MARY (continuing to chase after him): Stirling, come back! BASH: Mary? MARY: Stirling!
(Bash jumps off from his horse and runs to meet Mary)
MARY (frantically): Stirling, come back!
BASH: Mary! MARY (reaching the region in which the woods begin): Stirling! Stirling! Stirling!
BASH (stopping he from entering the woods): No, no, wait.
(Mary continues trying to enter anyway, but Bash just becomes more forcable)
BASH (getting her full attention): Mary. Young girls — royals, queens — do not leave the castle alone.
MARY: But — my—my dog
BASH: Let him go. Do not go into those woods. Do you hear me?!
MARY: Why not? What's in those woods? Besides my dog, who I might've caught if you hadn't stopped me.
BASH: He'll find his way back. There's food and warmth. Who wouldn't want to be at the castle? Except, perhaps, you. Rather be at the convent, would you? Eating porridge and trudging through mud?
MARY (defensively): I quite like the way mud feels underfoot.
BASH: Maybe you'll be sent back to the nuns — For misbehaving.
MARY: You're cheeky. BASH: And you're upset about more than your dog taking a little jaunt into the wild. What is it?
MARY: You should ask your brother.
BASH: Ask him what?
MARY: Why he's such a moody, arrogant ass.
BASH: We're half-brothers, by the way. Nothing in common but our father, really.
MARY: Oh.
BASH: But I'll mention your discontent to Francis.
MARY: Don't bother.
BASH: And I'll find your dog.
INSIDE THE CASTLE:
(Lola, one of Mary's ladies, is lying in a bathtub humming; with another lady attending to her hair. Someone enters and takes the lady's place, putting his hands on Lola's shoulders)
COLIN: Warm enough? LOLA (shockngly): Colin! (laughs) I don't believe it! What are you doing here? You can't —
(Colin starts kissing her the moment she starts protestng)
COLIN: I've been thinking of you from the moment you got on that boat. I borrowed money and left the next day.
LOLA: I want you to stay, but we'll be found out. We need permission.
(The pair then go and speak with Queen Catherine)
QUEEN CATHERINE (laughing): Oh What a grand, romantic gesture. And you say your queen, Mary, knows your young man?
LOLA: Uh, she hasn't met Colin, but she knows his people.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh! Your father is a cousin of Mary's father, James?
COLIN: My father served him until the day King James died. His Grace was generous, he granted my father large holdings, but we're no relation.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You come from former servants? My, what a rise your people have made. I do love a success story. Stay and tell me all about it.
(Both Colin and Lola break out in a wide grin)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh, Lola, you should go find Mary, keep her on task so we can all enjoy the wedding.
(Lola gets up and bows to the queen, before leaving. The rest of the women in the room also leave, leaving Colin very confused and worried)
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
(Mary and Aylee go to enter the room, but just before the door opens, a shadowy figure makes its way from one corner of the room to the other)
AYLEE: So Bash just happened upon you. You don't believe that. He has a terrible reputation with women, he knows no bounds.
MARY: Maybe it runs in the family.
AYLEE: Did something happen with Francis?
MARY: No, no, nothing.
(Aylee seems unconvinced)
MARY: Really, it's fine, and we need to get ready for the wedding.
AYLEE: So go on. I'll tell the servants you're ready to be bathed and dressed.
MARY: Thank you.
(As Aylee leaves, Mary begings taking off her earrings, before she notices the stones she threw back in the water are now lying on a mirror on her dresser
MARY: Hello? Is anyone here?
(A creaking is coming from across the room. It appears to originate behind a wardrobe closet in the corner of the room. Mary walks to it and puts her hand against the thin layer of frabic, a figure behind the cloth puts her hand up as well; with their hands meeting)
FEMALE VOICE (with a raspy tone): Taste of love and sorrow, but don't drink the wine. Don't.
MARY: Who are you?
(Just like that, the woman is gone. She disappears into an interconnecting network of tunnels behind a trap door)
AT THE WEDDING:
(Outside the castle, fireworks are bursting in the sky. Inside, festive music playing, while people are standing around and watching the newly-married couple enjoy the wedding festivities. Meanwhile, Lola spots Colin nervously carrying two c'halices of wine.)
MARY (to a group of gentlemen): We're very happy to be back at court.
(Colin approaches Mary with one of the c'halices)
COLIN: Your Grace. Beautiful evening, is it not?
(Lola continues to watch Colin as he speaks with Mary, until Greer interrupts her)
GREER: Why aren't you with Colin?
(Both girls watch as Colin takes Mary's hand and kisses it gently)
GREER: What's he doing with Mary?
LOLA: She's his queen. He's just paying his respects.
(Colin presents Mary with one of the c'halices and proposes a toast)
COLIN: Let's raise a glass: To the happy couple.
OLDER MAN: Hear, hear.
(All of the people gathered around take a sip of the wine, but Mary, who recalls the warning given by the mysterious stranger. Instead of drinking, she gently lays the c'halice back down as Colin nervously walks off)
FEMALE VOICE (raspy): Don't drink the wine.
MARY (seeing Lola and Greer starting attentively): Oh, Lola, no.
MARY (trying to pacify her friend): Aylee, I want to go dance. AYLEE: You can't dance alone.
MARY: I won't be alone.
(Mary and Aylee both walk toward Greer and Lola. Kenna joins them)
MARY: Lola, come dance with me. Take off you shoes. Come on. Dance with me.
(The girls liven up to the idea and begin removing their shoes)
MARY: Take off you shoes.
(The girls hold hands and dance wildly, while the King - and his mistress - looks on. The girls laugh wildly, but the Queen looks unamused)
QUEEN CATHERINE (sarcastically): We're overrun by Scots.
(The rest of the onlookers clap and laugh along. Some of them even join them in dancing. Meanwhile: Bash and Mary's eyes meet. Francis notices this and looks annoyed, until feathers begin to fall from the ceiling, reminding Mary of a time when she and Francis jumped on a bed when they were children, with feathers scattering about the room. Then, their eyes meet until the room starts to clear out)
LOLA: Look Elisabeth and Philip are leaving.
KENNA: It's time for the consummation; the ritual; the ceremony; the mystery. Aren't you curious?
(Kenna grabs Mary's hand and pulls her away. The rest of the girls follow them into a cramped, dark room shrouded in secrey by a curtain)
AYLEE: You mean, they actually watch them, you know..
GREER: It's a tradition for royals.
AYLEE: Well, we are not allowed.
KENNA (to Mary): Don't you want to know what you're in for someday? With your Francis?
(Kenna pulls back a curtain, revealing the newlyweds, a bed and a group of people in a candle-lit room.)
BISHOP: Pax vobis. In nomini patri et fili et spiritus sancti. Amen.
(A lady is attending to the nervous bride; helping remove her clothing. She looks like she's about to pass out when her husband comes in)
HUSBAND (he grabs her face and sheilds her eyes from the rest of the onlookers, whispering): We're the only ones that matter here.
(They begin to kiss softly and inch their way to a bed, where they continue kissing and moaning. The girls watch as the consumation unfolds)
AYLEE (gasping quietly): Let's go.
(The girls apprehensively leave the room. After they are back in the main hallway, where anyone could see them, they split up)
MARY: Go, before anyone sees us.
(Kenna heads to a quiet, dark portion of the castle, with several men watching intently as she strolls by. When she's alone, she lifts up her dress to pleasure herself, but before she can finish, someone comes from behind, pressing their hand against her private parts. She turns around to see that it's the king)
KENNA: Your grace
KING HENRY: May I?
(The king puts his hand under her dress and they begin kissing)
BACK IN THE BALLROOM:
(Mary goes looking for Francis and she finds him downstairs in the main ballroom with two other men. He sees her and goes to talk with her, while his lover looks on)
FRANCIS: Excuse me.
FRANCIS (approaching Mary): I've been wanting to talk to you. MARY (interrupting Francis and talking over him): There's something I need to say to you.
FRANCIS: When you came to my room, I-I shouldn't have said what I did. There were other ways of handling this.
MARY (offended): Handling what? Me? You do realize that we're going to be married someday, don't you?
FRANCIS: Believe me, I know. MARY: I know you had a life before I got here.
FRANCIS: It's not about that.
MARY: Don't you think that we owe it to each other, to our families, to our countries, to give it a chance?
FRANCIS: It's not that simple.
MARY: Not that simple?! What's not simple?! (Mary raises her voice) We've been engaged since we were six -- It's all arranged. How awful must you find me --
FRANCIS: It's not you. You, You're beautiful, and clever and unpredictable, but it doesn't matter. What matters is what's right for my country. France is not as strong as you might think, or care; which maybe you don't, but I do. I'm going to be king someday, responsible for my people. And right now, an alliance with Scotland could destroy France.
MARY: You don't want to marry me. You don't want this at all.
FRANCIS: Things could change.
MARY: Well, it isn't your decision, it's your father's.
FRANCIS: You don't see him pushing a wedding either, do you? All engagements really do is hold alliances. He's betting we might need Scotland, I'm betting we'll find more support elsewhere. I know it's not what you want to hear...
MARY: But you won't love me. You won't let yourself.
FRANCIS: Love is irrelevant to people like us. We, who are so privileged in so many ways, with that. All I'm asking you to do is wait, see how things go.
MARY: See how things go for France. I guess it is simple after all. But you aren't not the only one with a country to think of.
(Mary storms off and retreats to her chambers for sleep. She is awoken by Colin, who is undressing himself. When Mary wakes, she screams, but Colin puts his hand over her mouth to stifle her screams)
COLIN: Your grace, please, your grace!
(Mary manages to push Colin off of her, right before the guards storm in and apprehend him)
COLIN (screaming): Please, Your Grace, forgive me!
THE NEXT MORNING:
(Mary's ladies are gathered around with Lola, speaking of the previous events of the evening)
AYLEE: How could this happen? Where were the guards? Why didn't they stop him?
GREER: I hope Mary did if they didn't. They'll question her virtue. If she's not a virgin, then she'll never be the queen of France, and our chances at court will be over.
LOLA: You don't know what happened, any of you.
LOLA: I've spoken to him. He's being held. I bribed a guard. Colin's a good man; a boy still.
MARY: What did he say? What possible defense could he have given you?
LOLA: He said he was forced. He wouldn't say by whom. He couldn't, he was so afraid. But he said there are people, powerful people, behind this, and he had no choice.
KENNA: What people?
LOLA: Here, in the castle. He wouldn't risk saying more.
AYLEE: Do you believe him, Mary?
MARY: He looked so surprised that I would fight back. That I would even wake.
KENNA: That you'd wake? He att*cked you.
MARY (remembering the mysterious figure that warned her): The wine. I was told not to drink the wine. I was warned. LOLA: Warned by whom?
MARY: It doesn't matter now. I believe you. I believe Colin. LOLA: Please help him.
IN THE THRONE ROOM:
MARY (to the King and Queen): I thank you for your protection last night, but I need to speak with Colin.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Speak , to your assailant? Why?
MARY: Because he is the love of my dear friend. And if there was any misunderstanding, if I sent the wrong message in my joy at the wedding...
QUEEN CATHERINE: Take care, child. If anyone knew you were even asking this...
KING HENRY (interrupting the Queen): Catherine, she needs to know.
QUEEN
CATHERINE: Gossip poisons too. It can poison a young queen's reputation, her heirs' right to the throne; an entire kingdom.
KING HENRY: You may have behaved foolishly, but you are not responsible for your countryman's actions. MARY: Colin McPhail is my subject. I am his queen, and I demand to speak with him.
(It is revealed that Colin is being locked up and tortured)
KING HENRY: Witnesses have come forward. The boy played a role in an English plot to destroy your engagement and Scotland's alliance with France.
MARY: An English plot, you're sure?
QUEEN CATHERINE: You must know if he'd been successful in his as*ault, you'd be unfit to marry our son; to marry any royal. My dear, this was not an act of passion. It was treason.
KING HENRY: But it's all settled now.
(In the prison chambers, Colin is beheaded)
KING HENRY: Colin's been ex*cuted.
MARY: What?
KING HENRY: He was beheaded this morning.
BACK IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
MARY (to her ladies): There was nothing I could do. I was too late.
LOLA (with tears streaming down her face): He wasn't a traitor. He wasn't a r*pist.
MARY: They said he was involved in an English plot. I don't know who to believe or to trust. I, I am so sorry, Lola.
LOLA: You're the reason he's d*ad. Anyone who's close to you lives in constant danger. We're disposable, all of us.
MARY: No, you're not. I need you. You're my friends.
LOLA: Kenna's my friend. Greer and Aylee are my friends. You are my queen, and we're your subjects. We're here in service to you, whatever that means, whatever it costs us.
MARY: I will protect you.
LOLA: You can't even protect yourself.
MARY: I'll do better. I promise.
(Lola sits back down and starts crying heavily. All of the girls comfort her, while Mary just exits the room for some time to herself. Before she can break down, she sees that Bash has her dog on a leash)
MARY: Stirling! You found him.
(She bends down and hugs her dog tightly)
MARY: Oh, Stirling. What did I do? (to Bash) I'm sorry. It's just been so hard.
BASH: I know. MARY: So much harder than I thought it would be.
BASH: You're not alone here.
MARY: I have my friends.
BASH: I am not talking about your friends.
(Bash sees his mother staring at him from afar)
BASH (his tone changing): I meant I want you to be well, Your Grace.
MARY: Thank you, Sebastian. Truly.
(Mary goes to leave, as Dianne comes to talk to her son)
BASH: Mother.
DIANNE: Where did you find the dog? BASH: In the woods. It was drawn to the blood.
DIANNE: How close did you get? Take care, my brave son, or you will bleed for a girl who will never be yours.
(Outside, Mary is alone, overlooking the castle when Francis confronts her)
FRANCIS (sighs): You defended a boy they found in your bed? What was he doing there? You can tell me. I think I know already.
MARY: You think I was with him to get back at you?
FRANCIS: I think you're impulsive and prideful.
MARY: He's d*ad. Leave it be, I beg of you.
FRANCIS: You can't behave like this. Not at court. Can't you see what's at stake here?
MARY: Because we're engaged? But you have no intention of marrying me. What if I told them that? Then this would be over.
FRANCIS: You wouldn't do that because it's not true; I-I might marry you.
MARY: Someday, maybe, if.
FRANCIS: You said that you had a country to think about. Were you thinking about Scotland during any of this?
MARY: I was thinking about myself, my friends, my safety;
FRANCIS: You could have ruined your reputation so that I couldn't marry you, even if things go the way we want them to.
MARY: "The way we want them to?" And how would "we" want things to go? If you weren't the future king of France, and I was just a girl, not the queen of anything, would you want this?
(Francis and Mary's faces inch closer together, before they are almost kissing, until Francis pulls away)
FRANCIS: I can't do this. I won't.
(Queen Catherine had been watching the scene unfold from her window. She goes to confront Nostradamus over the failed plot)
QUEEN CATHERINE: You said the potion would make her sleep like the d*ad. One glass of wine, and she'd wake with her virtue destroyed, this engagement over.
NOSTRADAMUS: There was nothing wrong with my potion. It was the delivery of it that failed.
QUEEN CATHERINE: That stupid Scottish boy.
NOSTRADAMUS: A stupid, d*ad boy. All to protect his family -- from you.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I had no choice. The boy would've implicated me, and you. Have your visions altered?
NOSTRADAMUS: No. Mary will bring your son's death. You cannot relent. You must continue to sacrifice.
OUTSIDE:
(Mary stands overlooking the water at the black of night. She hears leaves crunch behind her, but doesn't look back)
MARY: I don't know who you are or why you hide, but your warning saved me. Danger surrounds me here, and I am in your debt.
(Thunder and lightning strike the ground, revealing the woman who saved Mary)
MARY: Are you in danger, too?
(She turns around to face her savior, but no one is there)
END CREDITS
-Wiki | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "01x01 - The Pilot"} | foreverdreaming |
Previously on Reign...
Nostradamus: I saw your son's future. His union with Mary, she will cost Francis his life.
Mary: We were engaged since we were six.
Francis: An alliance with Scotland could destroy France.
Mary: You don't want to marry me.
Queen Catherine: You said the potion would make her seem like the d*ad, on glass of wine and she would wake up with her virtues destroyed.
Mary: Colin, No
Lola: He said he was forced.
Mary: Colin is my subject and i demand to speak with him.
Henry: Colin's been exucuted. He was beheaded this morning.
(In the dungeon, Colin, who was said to be d*ad, is seen being tortured by one of the King and Queen's men)
Guard You're done for now, boy. Don't get too comfortable.
(The guard slinks away into the night. As soon as he's out of the picture, a dark figure scurries down the corridor)
Clarissa: (trying to bring Colin to attention): Wake up. Wake up.
(She removes the binds from his hands and tells him to leave)
Clarissa: Go. Go.
(She reaches for the hot iron and uses it on Colin and he screams in pain, but finally gets a move on.)
COLIN: Who are you? (yelling) Why did you free me?
(Clarissa continues to run out of the dungeon, never once turning around to look back)
(As the morning light sweeps into a window in the castle, Mary looms over a sleeping Lola, pushing the covers back over her chest. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door)
SARAH, THE SERVANT: Lady Kenna, Lady Aylee and Greer of Kinross, Your Grace.
(Mary's other three ladies all follow close behind)
Mary: Thank you, Sarah.
Kenna: You slept there while Lola slept in your bed?
Mary: We were talking about what happened to Colin. She fell asleep crying. I feel for her.... And for Colin.
(The girls exit the room as to not wake Lola up from her sleep, but they continue chatting in hushed tones in the castle's corridor)
Mary: The French King and Queen said Colin's att*ck on me was an English plot, but Colin told Lola it was someone here, highly placed at French court. All I know is it had to be someone opposed to Scotland's alliance with France; my engagement to Francis.
(Mary lowers her voice further, while all the girls eat breakfast)
Mary: England wants my country and my crown. I need the alliance with France to protect Scotland from the English, and I need time before there's any chance of Francis marrying me. I won't have time if I don't figure out who's against me.
(All of court has gathered in the throne room. On this day, a group of foreigners has gathered while the King and Queen decide who they shall bethrothed the younger Prince to)
Queen Catherine: Let's agree it's a brilliant match. Madeleine's French, so there's no question of her family's loyalty... Very wealthy.
King Henry: But not royal, so they're hungry for power.
Queen Catherine: They'll pay for it.
(The King's concern lifts at the thought)
King Henry: It's only right to accept the support of one's loyal subjects.
Queen Catherine (to her son): And she has a giraffe.
(The young prince finally smiles)
Queen Catherine: Well, Madeleine's widely traveled. She's come from far away... by ship.
Prince Charles: Do I get a giraffe, too?
Queen Catherine: The moment she's your bride.
(As Catherine continues to put her child at ease, Henry makes preparations)
King Henry: Francis, to show our respect, I want you to accompany your little brother to the landing.
Prince Charles: Can Bash come as well?
Queen Catherine (annoyed): Charlie...You know that Bash isn't really your brother. He's just your father's son.
(Francis and Sebastian both look at each other from across the room and smile faintly)
Queen Catherine: His presence is disrespectful.
King Henry: The girl's parents were enjoying Morocco, so they sent her on alone.
Queen Catherine: Barely. She was more afraid of meeting her future husband than of pirates. Well, that's to be expected at age seven. She'll get in line. We all do.
Mary: Perhaps I can go with Francis? I came here, too, when I was a child. Perhaps I can reassure her?
King Henry: It's several hours' journey.
Mary: Then we'll take food and treats. I don't mind, really.
Queen Catherine: On second thought, why don't we greet the girl here? We don't know... the journey might not be safe.
King Henry: They'll stay on the King's road. A dozen well-armed guards will keep any bandits away.
(With the matter settled, Henry takes off to set up the trip up)
King Henry (to the guards): Prepare a carriage for Mary, Queen of Scotland.
(A convoy of guards on horseback and carriages carry Mary, Francis and Prince Charles to meet Madeleine. As Mary rests her eyes, Prince Charles plays with a puzzle book across from Francis)
Prince Charles: She even smells nice.
Francis: I know.
(Francis looks out of the carriage and sees that they've arrived at their destination. He hops off, leaving Mary with Prince Charles, who seems utterly disinterested)
Prince Charles: Can I finish my puzzle?
(Francis peeks back in)
Francis: We'll come for you once the girl's boat has come ashore.
(Mary and Francis stand over the shore, looking as about a dozen small boats approach the shoreline)
Francis: There are too many boats.
(Francis notices that the larger boat has a huge, white English flag as a banner)
Francis: That's not a French ship. Those are English.
Mary: Is that a warship?
Francis: Yes.
(Francis, fearing the worst, alerts the guards)
Francis: Guards!
Mary: What are they doing here?
Francis: I don't know. I think it's a hostile landing.
Mary: But England and France are at peace. Have they come for me?
Francis: Get Mary out of here.Hide her.
(The men are now on the shoreline and they have started walking up the hill toward the group. One of the guards prepares a horse for riding)
Francis: Mary, can you ride?
Mary: Yes.
Francis (to the guard): Get my brother out of here, someplace safe.
(The French guards mount their bows with arrows directed toward the approaching men)
Francis: Mary, now.
(Before Mary and Charles are wisked away, Bash arrives on horseback)
Bash: No! Wait! Don't sh**t! Stand down!
Francis: There's an English warship.
Bash: The English come in peace. The French ship took on water it was in distress. The English were nearby and gave rescue.
Mary: How do you know this?
Bash: They sent an emissary on ahead to the castle. He's being held. If they're lying, they'll have his head.
(Bash sighs when they finally put down their w*apon. Several minutes later, the group arrive, including the prince's future wife. She takes a few steps forward, but Charles is too shy to meet her)
Francis: Go and introduce yourself.
(Prince Charles shakes his head "no" and refuses to step forward. So Mary walks toward her and breaks the ice)
Mary: Hello, Madeleine. I'm Mary. I know you've had a very long journey, but you're safe now. And you are very welcome here.
(She extends her hair to Madeleine, who eventually takes it and walks toward the Prince)
Mary (quietly whispering): Go on now.
(After a moment, Madeleine bows, then Charles does as well. He bends down and picks a small flower, giving it to her and making her smile)
(After finally introducing himself, Prince Charles and Madeleine play together at a party held at the castle. All around them, people are dancing, chatting and feasting on various types of food.)
KING HENRY (to Queen Catherine quietly): We've sent tents, cots and food to the English fighters at the shore. And there's Simon, the English envoy. I've put him up in a guest suite while he's at court, along with the captain of the ship and some of his officers.
Queen Catherine: There's plenty of English to go around. Some of England's finest warriors that just happened to be aboard that ship. Aren't you the kind host?
King Henry: Treat them as friends until they prove themselves foes. They'll be gone in a few days, replenished and on their way.
(King Henry heads off, with Nostradamus sneaking behind Catherine)
Nostradamus: I would think the English would be among your favorite guests.
Queen Catherine: Because they hate Mary? Well, if only their aggression were limited to Scotland. But they want France, too. They want everything...
Nostradamus: ... Thus the alliance with Scotland. The one you tried to destroy by blackmailing a boy into taking Mary's virtue by force.
Queen Catherine: Well, if it had worked, Francis might evade the fate you predict. How do I tell my son you see his death? That his union with Mary will be the cause?
Nostradamus: Francis doesn't believe in prophecies. He'd ignore it.
Queen Catherine: I trust your visions and your counsel. So let us keep our secrets and let them rest in peace with the Scottish boy who carried them out.
(Meanwhile, Simon approaches Mary from the other side of the room)
Mary: You're English, Lord Westbrook, but you say that you did not come with the warship? You reside in France?
Simon: I have a home in Paris, but I often stay at court. Call me Simon, please. So we can be friendly and frank with one another. Not like the French who simply say what you want to hear. How is your engagement going?
Mary: Quite well. We're very happy.
Simon: Then why haven't you set a date? Charles and Madeleine are only seven, but they'll be wed on her 14th birthday. France's commitment to Scotland is hollow. They're playing both sides. If you were thr*at, would they really come - to your defense?
Mary: I believe that is the very definition of an alliance. But, of course, you knew that.
Simon: I know this from one look at you. You're of age. You should be married.
Mary: Are you proposing, or are you trying to scare me?
Simon: Pack your pretty friends and hopes of salvation and go back to Scotland.
Mary: And exactly how long before England att*cks in full force if I do that? I'm not going anywhere.
Simon: Didn't the nuns raise a brave girl. Sent to them for your protection, as I recall. How was the porridge at convent? We thought it needed a little seasoning. A little something to make the flavor of our intentions clear.
(Mary remembers her last day at the convent, when one of the nuns died right before her eyes)
Mary (clearly disgusted): Y...
(Just before she is about to verbally att*ck him, Francis comes up and tries to calm her down before she makes a public spectacle of herself)
Francis: Darling, you're missing the game. Antoine's had seven cups of wine. Every time he hiccups or burps, we must have one ourselves.
(Finally, Francis acknowledges Simon nonchalantly)
Francis: Simon, right? Back at court?
Simon: And very pleased to be here.
Francis: I have another game in mind for you.
(Francis drags Mary away from Simon, but not before forcing him to hold his chalice)
Mary: What are you doing?
(Francis has Mary pinned to a wall, but she is clearly upset)
Francis: Don't move. Don't push me away. You're shaking. You can't show them you're scared.
Mary: He thr*at me here at French court. He wanted me to know that they tried to poison me at the convent.
Francis: He's heard things about my reluctance to marry you.
Mary: Then they're aware that I don't have your country's protection here.
Francis: You do.
(Mary remains unconvinced)
Francis (quietly): You do.
Mary: There are dozens of English here, hundreds more camped on the coastline.
Francis: I'm at your side. We'll prove to them our union is strong.
Mary: But it isn't.
Francis: Well, they'll think it is before their visit is over.
(Francis holds out his hand, but Mary doesn't take it. While looking around, she sees that all eyes — including the Queen and Nostradamus — are on her)
Francis: Can you do this?
Mary: Absolutely. Can you?
(He nods and she finally takes his hand, before they head for the dance floor. Meanwhile, a guard comes up to Nostradamus and whispers something unsetting in his ear. Catherine picks up on this and she looks concerned)
(After leaving the festivities, Nostradamus leads the Queen down to the dungeons, where he carefully explains what happened earlier that morning)
Nostradamus: As is the custom the door of the prisoner scheduled to be ex*cuted was marked with an "X.
(Catherine holds a handkerchief over her nose to hide the rancid smell, as Nostradamus shows her the door marked with the red X)
Queen Catherine: Yes. Go on, go on.
Nostradamus: In another cell — a second boy, a thief — was being detained and punished.
Queen Catherine: Tortured, you mean.
(They both walk up to the table on which Colin was chained to earlier, seeing another young boy's body and decapitated head)
Queen Catherine: Who is this?
Nostradamus: The boy whose cell was mistakenly marked.
(Nostradamus looks down at his feet and chooses his words carefully)
Nostradamus: It was Colin who was tortured and escaped.
Queen Catherine: They beheaded the wrong boy and let him go?
Nostradamus: I said he escaped... He had help. Someone released him from his bonds.
Queen Catherine: No. Colin knows what we've done. If he tells Mary, she could destroy us.
Nostradamus: Especially if your husband—the King—believes his story.
Queen Catherine: We have to find Colin. Find him and k*ll him.
(After learning Colin has escaped, Catherine is already plotting to make sure the truth would remain buried, but covering her bases just in case. She and the King have gone up to Mary's chambers, where she and her ladies are caught up)
Mary: Colin's alive?
King Henry: Alive and escaped, I'm afraid.
(A look of relief washes over Lola's face)
Queen Catherine: He had help.
Mary: Who?
King Henry: Perhaps the English?
Mary (unable to formulate a coherent sentence): But-t-t the att*ck... the execution... it all took place before they arrived.
Queen Catherine: They're always here, my dear. Spies and treachery are constant in our world, but you have our protection. The guards are out looking for Colin, and he will be found.
(Catherine changes the subject)
Queen Catherine: There's a picnic this afternoon for Madeleine and Charles. The perimeter will be guarded.
Mary: Perhaps this is a mixed blessing... And I'll have a chance to speak with Colin once he's found; to learn how deep the plot against my person runs.. (to Catherine) You said yourself, Colin was a mere pawn.
Queen Catherine: The informants who pointed at the English fled, fearing retribution.
King Henry (curiously): Have they?
Queen Catherine: Mhhmm
Mary: All I ask of you is that you bring him back alive. I need answers, and you did regret that he was ex*cuted so quickly, not knowing my request.
(Catherine makes it clear that this isn't going to happen)
Queen Catherine: Colin is a dangerous fugitive. --we can not possibly guarantee that he-e (stumbling with her words) won't att*ck the guards and be harmed... or k*lled.
King Henry: We can promise to try.
(After leaving Mary's chambers, the King speaks to the Queen privately)
King Henry: I heard you were the first to learn of Colin's escape. You were seen last night in the dungeon with Nostradamus.
Queen Catherine: Yes. I sent out the guards right away.
King Henry: ... But you didn't tell me.
Queen Catherine: I wouldn't want to disturb you in your mistress's bed.
King Henry: Diane's at the country house. So, by all means, keep me informed... Day or night. Because I want to know whatever that boy has to say.
Queen Catherine: Look at all the guards. As if Colin would ever willingly return.
(Outside of the castle, all of the people at court have ventured out into the beautifully-decorated courtyard, with dozens of children running around and playing games)
Lola (noticing how many guards the King and Queen have positioned around the courtyard): Look at all the guards. As if Colin would ever willingly return...
(One of the games entails blindfolding Prince Charles, having a number of girls call his name and have him identify Madeleine from the rest of them)
Girls: Charles! ... Charles! ... Charles!
Madeleine (very softly): Charles ..
Kenna (talking over the Children): How is Charles supposed to recognize the voice of his true love if she's so quiet? - Charles.
Madeleine (louder and less soft): Charles!
(The King and Queen pass through the courtyard together, stopping when a beautiful lady catches his eye to plant a kiss on her hand)
Woman: Your Majesty.
Kenna: Who's the King talking to?
Greer: Anyone he likes, since he has no use for the Queen, and his mistress, Diane, is away.
(Henry glances back at Kenna and smiles)
Mary (to Francis): Do you remember this game?
Madeleine: Charles!
Francis: Yes. And she's getting irritated with him.
Madeleine: Charles!!
Mary: He's not listening. He's distracted by this one and that.
Francis: She's impatient. Like somebody else I know... You always were. Never finished a game...never sat through a story.
(Mary looks back at Francis with a myraid of emotions flooding her face)
Francis: What is it?
Mary: I wish I could be patient. My situation isn't easy.
Francis: I know that. You must feel misled.
Mary: I feel endangered. The boy who att*cked me, Colin; He told Lola he was forced by someone in the castle.
Francis: You mean someone French?
Mary: Highly placed, with the power to thr*at him and order him ex*cuted.
Francis: Those orders came from my parents.
Mary: When I spoke to your parents, even your father seemed suspicious.
Francis: And my mother?
(Francis waits for an answer that never comes)
Francis (very quietly): Are you accusing her of something?
Mary: No... I don't know. I just want to be sure that Colin is returned alive and your parents said he would be.
Francis: Then he will be, or they'll make every effort.
Mary: Can you be sure of that?
Francis: You have the word of the King and Queen of France.
Mary: I had their word that we would be married. I'm not sure words mean anything here.
(Francis angrily storms off, revealing that Simon has been watching them intently from across the courtyard. Meanwhile, Prince Charles remains blindfolded, with many young girls calling out his name)
Girl 1: Charles.
Girl 2: Charles.
Girl 3: Charles.
Girl 4: Charles.
Girl 5: Charles.
Girl 6: Charles.
(Prince Charles keep spinning around, unable to identify Madeleine's voice from the crowd)
Madeleine: Charles!
(Finally fed up, she rips the blindfold from his face)
ELSEWHERE IN THE COURT-YARD:
(Mary meets with Sebastian privately)
Bash: I'm not sure who you fear the English or the French court.
Mary: The English have thr*at me for years, but Colin is the only one who knows who at French court, wants me gone.
Bash: And you think the word of an accused traitor will matter?
Mary: If the right people believe him — and I think they might — then yes.
Bash: All right, I'll go. Best way out of the dungeon is the South keep. Guards will have a head start, but they are not hunters, and they fear the woods.
Mary: Why?
Bash: There is much to fear. Dark and dangerous times, Your Grace, but your presence brings light.
(This makes Mary smile)
(After leaving the party held at the courtyard, little Charles hoovers against a stone structure near the castle, whispering to someone lingering in the shadows)
Prince Charles: I know. I didn't tell anyone... Don't worry.
(Mary goes looking for Charles. After she spots him, so goes to see whom he's speaking to)
Mary: Charles, Madeleine feels like you're ignoring her. Who are you talking to?
Prince Charles: No one.
Mary: Is that quite so?
Prince Charles: All right, I was talking to my friend, But she wants me to play with her, too. She gets jealous. She says that when I'm older, I won't even remember her.
(Mary starts walking toward the entrance)
Prince Charles: Don't go in there. She decides when you see her.
Mary: Well, that doesn't sound very friendly...
Prince Charles: But she knows things. Because she goes where she wants, and she sees everything, and she knows people's secrets.
(Suddenly, it strikes Mary that this girl might be the same one who warned her of the r*pe plot)
Mary: This friend, who likes to hide... I think she visited me once.
Prince Charles: You're lucky, then. She doesn't like people. Most of the time, she doesn't really speak, but I bribe her with things she likes, or play guessing games with her.. to learn things.
Mary: This friend does she have a name?
Prince Charles: Clarissa, but don't say I told you.
(Mary turns again to enter the tunnels, this time venturing inside)
Prince Charles: Please don't go in there.
Mary: Clarissa?
(Once inside the enterance, Clarissa is nowhere to be found, but Mary finds a small round stone laying on the ground. She picks it up and goes back outside, seeing that no one is around her any longer, including Charles)
(When arriving back into her room following the party, Mary finds a girl wearing one of her dresses)
Mary: I'm-I'm sorry... I don't know you.
(The girl's face turns white)
Mary: Is that my dress?
Girl: Your Grace, forgive me...It's so beautiful. The tailor gave it to me to return, and I-I thought.. I should never...
(Suddenly the girl starts clutching at her arms)
Girl: My skin is on f*re. My skin is on f*re!
Mary: Is something wrong?
Girl: No! Stay back! It's poisoned. My skin is burning. It's burning!
(She falls to the ground, which sends Mary on a desperate mission for help)
Mary (screaming and running down the corridors): Guards, someone, help me! Somebody help me, please! Guards!
(Returning with Francis and several men, Mary sees that the girl is no longer there in her chambers)
Mary: She was right there on the floor. She was dying. Where-where.. could she have gone?
Francis: They took the evidence... Whoever did this failed in their attempt on you.
(Francis tries to comfort her by holding her hand)
Francis (to one of the guards): Go! Now! An assassin with a dying girl could not have gone far.
Francis: Go! Go!
(All of them take off after the girl, leaving Mary and Francis alone)
Mary (hysterically): She was right there! How could anyone have escaped with her?
(Suddenly, an idea dawns on Mary)
Mary: The passageway...
(She takes off toward it, with Francis following her behind closely)
Mary: I don't know how far it goes, or where, but...
(Mary opens up a small door and they look into the darkness)
Mary: Could they have gone through here?
Francis: Shh...
(He pauses for a moment, listening for voices or footprints)
Francis: No... No, they'd echo. We'd hear them. These passages are all stone, nothing in them... but I didn't know one connected to this room.
Mary: You know about them?
Francis: This castle's been built over centuries. The passageways...they connect the older parts to the new. They're mostly sealed up now, d*ad-ends. I'll have the guards check them anyway. Where were your guards when you came in?
Mary: Well, they-they... They weren't here. I-I saw the servant, and I-I thought it was safe.
Francis: They'll be dealt with, but in the mean-time, that English envoy needs to be detained and questioned.
Mary: Do that...
(Francis has already taken off)
Mary: By all means.
(Kenna, one of Mary's ladies, stands by the windowsill alone, until the King approaches her)
Kenna: Your Grace.
King Henry: Had enough sun...
(Kenna touches her hand to her face)
King Henry: or are you blushing?
Kenna: Both.
King Henry: I wondered when I might find a moment alone with you again, as I very much enjoyed our last. Then I decided a public chat might be the best way to protect your reputation.
Kenna: Hmmm. I didn't know... I, um ...I'd wondered if...
(She trails off)
King Henry: If it meant anything to me? (whispering) I can't stop thinking about you. I wish we hadn't stopped, but, but I understand why.
Kenna: A maiden's virtue is everything.
King Henry: I want a woman, not a maiden. As King, I've learned to be very clear about when to state my terms. Enjoy the festivities.
(The King and Francis discuss what just happened in Mary's chambers alone in a corridor)
Francis: The English can't do this, not under the laws of diplomacy, not under French law, not in our home.
King Henry: You can't prove they did anything until the servant's body is found.
Francis: Corner the English envoy, t*rture him if needs be... He's had no problem torturing Mary.
King Henry: Simon's having a glass of Sherry with my advisor. He's well aware of the consequences if we can prove he's behind this.
Francis: You're not gonna do anything, are you?
King Henry: I didn't say that.
Francis: You're just going to keep her here, like some acquisition, a w*apon you might never use.
King Henry: Alliances are w*apon.
Francis: Her life is at risk over an alliance we may never honor. End it. Let her go.
King Henry: Her life is always at risk. She first came to us when she was six because the English wanted to k*ll her.
Francis: She's no safer here than anywhere else.
King Henry: Exactly. Where do you think she's going to go, back to Scotland? Her mother doesn't want her back, not without a King for a husband. She's here doing her job, and her job is waiting for me to decide when you should marry her.
(Francis fully plans on arguing further, but Henry has had enough)
Francis: She...
King Henry: She is not going anywhere.
Francis: She's not just an alliance; She's a girl, under your care, but that's of no matter to you, is it?
King Henry: I'm intrigued by how much she matters to you. All this worry for a girl you claim you don't want to marry.
(With Francis now speechless, the King makes his exit)
(Alone with his horse in the woods, Sebastian stops at a small bush and sees something on one of the leaves. Putting it between his fingers, he determines it's blood. After walking several additional yards, he sees more blood on the ground. Bending down to inspect it, drops of blood fall to his face. Looking up, he sees a figure hung by the neck on a tree)
(Mary and her ladies have gathered to await news on the girl and on Colin's recovery. Francis joins them and pulls Mary aside)
Francis: The English Envoy has been questioned. He had an alibi for everything.
Mary: I'm not surprised.
Francis: I hope you know I take your position seriously and I want to help... As best I can. As I suspect my brother is already doing. I saw you talking. He's gone after Colin, hasn't he?
Mary: Yes. Are you angry?
Francis: No. No. You need more than a show of our support, but it's-it's near dark. He should be back by now. You must have given him some lead.
Mary: He was following a trail from the South keep. That's all I know.
(Francis turns to leave in search of Sebastian, but Mary has something else to say first. She grabs his hand)
Mary: Thank you.
(Seeing Francis has left, Mary's ladies report back to her)
AYLEE: We've talked to the last of the servants, and the guards.
Lola: No one posted outside any of our doors or in that corridor saw someone leave your room with a body or a dying girl.
Kenna: And they would have.
Mary: They must have used the passageway.
(Mary returns to the passageways by herself, hoping Clarissa will be open to talking with her)
Mary: Clarissa?
(Mary hears nothing but the echo of water dropplets hitting the ground and her own voice)
Mary: We can play if you want., but I need your help.
(Mary lays her candle down and pulls out several marbles, which she puts on the floor)
Mary: If you can hear me, come and find me.
(She gets up and walks back to her room, but she stops d*ad in her tracks when she hears a noise behind her)
Mary: Does this mean you'll speak to me?
(She returns back to the site with the marbles)
Mary: I have a guessing game for you. I'm going to guess something, and if I guess right, you roll the marble back to me. If I guess wrong, you keep it... it's yours.
(She picks up one of the marbles)
Mary: I think you know who's trying to hurt me.
(After tossing the marble and Clarissa not returning it, she asks another question)
Mary: Who is it? Is it the English? Is it Queen Catherine? No, I'm-I'm sorry, I'll ask one at a time.
(Clarissa sh**t several marbles at Mary
Mary: Is it the English?
(When she doesn't answer, Mary goes off after her)
Mary: Clarissa? Clarissa?
(Clarissa is gone once Mary arrives, but she left behind a golden key and some crushed mineral, which Mary picks up)
(In the woods, Bash has cut down Colin's corpse. He scurries when he hears someone approaching on horseback, hiding in the bushes until he sees Francis is the approaching stranger)
Francis: No, Bash. Why were you hiding?
Bash (whispering): How did you find me?
Francis: You're the one who taught me how to find snapped twigs and imprints in the soil.
(Francis looks down and sees the body)
Francis: Is that Colin?
Bash: Yes, it is. Let's get him out of here. He didn't deserve to die like this, and Mary will want to send her subject home for a proper burial.
Francis: How did he die?
Bash: Guess the guards got to him before we did.
(Bash starts dragging his body by the hands, when Francis noices the rope tied arounf his feet. He puts his foot against the rope and prevents Bash from moving him any farther)
Francis: Our guards hang men by their necks, not their feet.
(Francis bends down and gets a better look)
Francis: His throat's been slit. There's blood running up his face. He was bled out.
Bash: Well, you'll find that the guards play by their own rules, little brother. Now, help me with him.
(They start to move him together when a figure appears behind them)
Francis: What was that? Are those the guards?
(Bash looks frightened)
Francis: You've nothing to fear. They're under our command.
Bash: Those aren't guards.
(He and Francis both get up on their feet and look around intently)
Bash (to the figures): We take what's ours, not yours.
Francis: They're coming closer.
Bash: Even d*ad men answer to the King.
(Francis pulls out his sword and commands Bash to do the same)
Francis: Draw your sword!
(Instead, Bash pulls out a small Kn*fe and uses it to cut his own hand)
Francis: What are you doing?
(Bash lets drops of blood fall to the ground around him)
Bash: Lumenick dushkadar. Et spragon, faraha. Ay raynam doluchtaii!
(The noises from the figures sound more and more distant)
Bash: They're leaving. Let's get out of here.
Francis: How can you be so sure? What did you say?!
(Bash doesn't have the time to argue, He picks up Colin's body once again and starts to put it on his horse)
Bash: Francis, now!
(Francis puts his sword up and does as Bash says. They load his body and take back off toward the castle)
(After taking the key Clarissa left her, Mary goes off in search of the door it opens, but before she can test the key in the Queen's door, she is interrupted by a servant)
Guard: Your Grace? Are you here to see Queen Catherine?
(Acting cool, she indicates to him that she's dropping a note off)
Mary: A private thank you. She'll see it when she returns.
(The guard bows and leaves. Mary bends down and pretends to push the note under the door, but while she's down there, she finally tries the key, seeing that it doesn't work. She then leaves and tries another door, seeing that it DOES work. After turning the lock and opening the door, finding Simon in bed with the woman who was in her chambers earlier that day)
Mary (to Simon): Of course. It's you.
(The girl pulls the covers up over her chest)
Mary: But you were poisoned.
Simon (to the girl): There you go, my dear.
(Simon tosses her a robe and she bolts out of the room)
Simon: Her carriage back to Orleans was delayed. My hope was to keep her out of sight.
Mary: So you admit it.... That you staged her poisoning to terrorize me.
(Simon doesn't say no)
Mary: Why would you do such a thing? To show me what you're capable of? You showed me that at the convent. England shows me that every time you att*ck our borders.
Simon: You need to fear us here, at French court, because your being here angers us very much.
Mary: You thr*at me, but it is the English who are afraid. There are rumors that your Queen is ill.. And my cousin Elizabeth is the next in line for the throne, but many say she's illegitimate... bastard born.
Simon: And say the next rightful heir to the English throne is you.
Mary: But what if I don't want it? What if all I want is for England to leave Scotland in peace?
Simon: Show us you're not a thr*at. That you are not here to wed the next King of France for his armies.
Mary: Armies I need against you! Because England won't stop.
Simon: We need to crush Scotland so we're certain it won't rise against us.
(Mary realizes that her pro-Elizabeth sentiment was futile)
Mary: You'll never leave me in peace.
Simon: Someone has to make the first move. Someone has to instill trust. Leave France, abandon the alliance.
Mary: And trust you?
Simon: You think you can trust the French? You have powerful enemies here, and you know it, or you'd be screaming right now for the guards. Where were yours, by the way, when we went into your room?
Mary (to herself): She said yes to both. (to Simon) You have Catherine's support in this.
Simon: Wouldn't that make life for me, and the loss of yours, so much easier?
(Downstairs, a group of people are feasting. Kenna sits at the table, while Henry lurks in the doorway, watching her every move)
Kenna: I have thought about your offer.
King Henry: I've thought about you accepting it.
Kenna: Do you see that man over there, the one who can't take his eyes off me?
(Henry turns and looks)
King Henry: I believe that's Robert, the viscount of Lorraine.
Kenna: Well, I need to be spending my time with him or any other available noble. Men that I might marry, who need to know I'm a virgin, so there's no question whether or not our child is their heir. Men to whom my virtue matters... Sorry.
King Henry: I understand your position completely.
(After returning from the woods with Colin's body, Francis remains curious about the events leading up to them leaving the woods)
Francis: I know you don't want to talk about it, but that language that you spoke.....
Bash (stopping him): I told you it's nothing, it's just an old dialect.
Francis: It's pagan or druid. Call it what you want, but it's heresy. It sounded very much like a prayer that you knew well. What were you saying?
(Bash makes it clear that the topic is still not up for discussion)
Francis: I remember some of the words. Would you rather that I went to a scholar, to Nostradamus?
(Finally, he gives in)
BASH: "Deep the roots, dark the night, red the blood I will pay" ... It's nonsense, but the Vagrants in the woods believe it.
Francis: Vagrantsis that what those were? And, Colin? Was his death part of this blood oath?
Bash: I found him hanging. They used him as a sacrifice. Now you know why the woods aren't safe.
Francis: You went into them for Mary.
Bash: She's your fiance.. I felt duty-bound to help her.
Francis: Bash, we're brothers. We could always trust each other regardless of our station. Let that be the last lie you tell me.
(Finally, Francis debriefs Mary on the state of the search)
Mary: If Colin is d*ad, then it's over. I have no proof against my enemy. I came here to marry you; a marriage that would protect both me and my country. And it scares the English. They fear your country's power.
Francis: They'll fear it when I'm King, I promise you.
Mary: And I would wait.... For our marriage, for the chance of your country's support, If I had some faith that I could survive your mother.
(Francis seems insulted at the suggestion that his mother is involved)
Francis: No...
Mary (interrupting him): I can't prove it. I have no one who will speak openly, no evidence that you can hold in your hand. I have nothing but confirmation from an enemy...and someone else, a girl, who I believe more than anyone.
Francis: My mother wouldn't harm you. She has no cause to. She knows that I won't wed you unless it's right for France.
Mary: I can't make sense of it either... but she did it. She was behind it all, I am sure of it. She terrorized me... and it worked. If your conscience, your politics, won't allow you to marry me, then the English feel that they have a clean sh*t at me with the Queen of France as their w*apon. I can't stay here. Even my mother will understand because I can't bring home any armies—and I can't wed any Kings—if I'm d*ad.
(Whilst preparing herself to go to sleep, Kenna hears a knock at her door. It's King Henry and he has come to make an introduction)
King Henry: Kenna, you remember Robert, the viscount of Lorraine?
Kenna: Yes?
King Henry: Robert, will you take Lady Kenna as your bride, no questions asked, because it's a union blessed by your King?
ROBERT: As you wish, Your Majesty.
King Henry: Thanks, Robert. That will be all.
(Robert smiles slyly and makes his exit)
King Henry: You needn't worry. Being in the King's favor expands your prospects. It doesn't limit them. Think about that, too.
(Henry plants a passionate kiss on Kenna)
King Henry: Think about that too.
(Francis stands alone in the throne room, looking at the spot in which he'll one day sit as King, when Catherine arrives)
Francis: I hope to be a good King someday, which is why I will never put anything—any love—ahead of the love for my country. Why do you doubt that?
Queen Catherine: What makes you think I do?
Francis: You put a boy to death—two boys—one with the sweep of a paintbrush, a red "X" carelessly applied... a life over... another boy slain in the woods.
Queen Catherine: Mistakes were made. We tried to bring Colin back even though he was a traitor.
Francis: If he's a traitor, then what are you? Who are you loyal to?
Queen Catherine: My family, France, you—as they are one and the same.
Francis: Because you can't trust father and he can't divorce you. I mean, you must wonder what he'd do to you if he could, so you put all your hopes, your survival on the favor of the next King—me but, mother... You must understand that my, my marriage to Mary, to anyone won't change my loyalty to you.
Queen Catherine: Is the pull so strong?
Francis: Yes. Yes, it is. But it doesn't matter.... Mary came here in good faith, and now...
Queen Catherine: Well, now what? Is she leaving?
Francis: It was you.
Queen Catherine: No.
Francis: You need to stop this. If anything happens to Mary--anything --I will suspect you and I won't need proof. And you will lose me.
(Francis leaves in a hurry. Catherine grabs him by the arm to stop him, but she's unsucessful)
Queen Catherine: I'll ready myself for bed tonight.
SERVANT: Yes, Your Majesty.
(All of the servants leave, but one guard. After the room is clear, she starts stripping her body of the jewelery and asking him questions)
Queen Catherine: Where did you find him?
Guard: Colin? He'd gone into the blood wood... stupid scot.
Queen Catherine: How convenient for you.
Guard: Made him easy to catch and string up.
Queen Catherine: Like the heretics do in the woods?
Guard: Feet first, just the same.
(As Catherine strips her clothing off, the guard excuses himself, but when she pulls back the covers on her bed, she sees a huge red x painted onto her sheets)
(Nostradamus is washing the red x off the door in the dungeons, talking to someone off-screen)
NOSTRADAMUS: I see you're doing art now. Aren't you clever? Tricking the guards into k*lling one boy while you release another. Were you trying to help Mary, point her to her enemies like some avenging Angel? You're no Angel. If people knew what you really were...
Francis: I believe you. And I'm sorry for all that you've been through. I believe that your life is safe here At least from my mother.
Mary: How?
Francis: You'll just have to trust me, and I'll have to trust her love for me.
Mary: You told her?
Francis: I raised my suspicions, not yours.
Mary: Even if putting your mother on notice was enough, I have more enemies than you can count.
Francis: Isn't that why you came here...for an ally?
Mary: And you made it very clear you weren't one for me.
Francis: I was wrong.
Mary: But your duty is to France.
Francis: I'm not talking about our nations. I'm saying that I will be at your side against foes seen and unseen, as a friend.
Mary: As a friend? Is that what we are now?
Francis: Well, it's a good place to start if there's to be any real chance between us.
Mary: Yes, it is a good place to start.
Francis: Then don't give up, don't run. Stay.
(Francis extends his hand and she takes it)
END | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "01x02 - Snakes in the Garden"} | foreverdreaming |
(In the courtyard at the castle, people — like Queen Catherine, King Henry, Mary, Queen of Scots and her Ladies in Waiting — are gathered around, watching Francis and Tomás compete against one another in a game of archery.)
NOSTRADAMUS: (Speaking to Catherine, who sits between he and King Henry) Who designed the target?
CATHERINE: Oh. Who knows? They say it looks like the castle ghost — the girl they blame for every girl or servant that runs off, or goes missing.
(Francis and Tomás stand beside one another. Each holding their own bow and several arrows.)
FRANCIS: (Speaking to Tomás) Nice sh*t, Tomás, but the object is to h*t the heart.
TOMÁS: Is it?
(Francis nods, as Tomás goes to retrieve another arrow. The camera pans in on Mary, Kenna, Greer, Lola and Aylee, as they sit nearby; watching the events unfold)
OFFSCREEN VOICE (to Mary, who looks unamused): Is he allowed to take another sh*t?
(Tomás aims his bow and arrow toward the target. This time, he hits the target in precicely the correct place. Looking proud of his accomplishment, he gazes into the crowd — noticing the tension in the air)
TOMÁS (to Francis): Did I take too many sh*ts?
FRANCIS: Technically, yes. Shall I take another sh*t too?
TOMÁS: Take as many sh*ts as you would like. (glancing over at Mary, then back to Francis) You will still lose.
(Francis pulls out an arrow, fixes it to his bow and takes a sh*t — hitting the target just inches from Tomás' last sh*t. The crowd gives him an applause. Tomás smiles slightly and makes a hand gesture)
AYLEE: Does Tomás seem different these last few days? A little more bold?
KENNA: More intense?
OFFSCREEN VOICE: More *unintelligible* anyway
AYLEE: More engaged to Mary, certainly.
MARY: Not all the way engaged; not yet.
GREER: And how do you feel about that? I detect reservations.
MARY: It doesn't matter how I feel. I have to marry who's right for Scotland.
AYLEE: How do you feel if Tomás is that man?
MARY: I feel that we should remember it's still a secret. At least until King Henry releases me from my engagement to Francis.
GREER (laughing): That's no answer.
(Mary's uncle — CLOUDE DE GUISE — joins the girls.)
CLOUDE DE GUISE (as he reaches his hand for Mary to take): Walk with your uncle.
(She takes his hand and they walk away to chat privately)
MARY: Almost agreed? (Her annoyance is clear) You and King Henry have been talking for days. What have you been discussing? The weather?
CLOUDE DE GUISE: These are tricky matters of state. Your marriage treaty with Portugal does not end our alliance with France. It just changes it. Still... for Henry's approval, there will be conditions.
MARY: I will not beg for something I'm not sure I want.
CLOUDE DE GUISE: You will beg because Scotland needs this. Portugal's ships will keep the English from raiding our borderland. Henry won't offer the same protection, but he's still a king and kings can't be seen letting allies walk freely from treaties.
MARY: But queens can be seen begging release from treaties that go unenforced?
CLOUDE DE GUISE: You'll be queen of nothing if you don't make Scotland safe from England — and you can't do that without Portugal's strength, which you can't have without Henry's release to marry Tomás.
ACT 2: THE CASTLE
(Nostradamus is seen tending to the wounds of Bash, who was gravely injured before he was able to relay Henry's message to the French companies about traveling to Scotland to fight the English.)
LOLA (enters the room): Queen Mary is anxious to know how Bash is.
NOSTRADAMUS: The wound is closing, but the disease in his blood is speading. If the fever doesn't break by tonight...
LOLA (interrupting Nostradamus): He could die. So soon?
SEBASTIAN (coming to consciousness): You're scaring the poor girl, Nostradamus. Where's your chivalry?
LOLA: Bash... How do you feel?
SEBASTIAN: Close to death, apparently, which feels more or less how it sounds.
NOSTRADAMUS: You need to rest, Sebastian.
SEBASTIAN: What I need is water. Perhaps a little bit more of that lovely *unintelligble* LOLA (smiling widely): I think I can manage that.
(Nostradamus brings Sebastian a cup of water, handing it to Lola, who puts the cup to Sebastian's mouth — helping him drink. He takes a few sips before coughing lightly)
SEBASTIAN: So, will you run back to Mary with the troubling news; with your other ladies, or will you stay and look death in the face?
LOLA: I nursed two of my brothers into the grave... scarlet fever — and I've known other losses too. Not scared of death anymore.. I'm scared of being alone.
SEBASTIAN: There's a difference?
NOSTRADAMUS: I'm terribly sorry, but this is not helping him rest.
SEBASTIAN: Every time I look at her, I feel better. Every time I look at you, I feel worse. The prescription is clear, don't you think?
(Nostradamus takes the cup and leaves the room)
SEBASTIAN: There's a book of Norse mythology over there. If you wouldn't mind reading that to me... unless, of course, you want to go back to the torment.
LOLA: Not at all.. (She flips the book open and looks at some of the pictures)
ACT 3: BACK IN THE COURTYARD
(Mary has now returned to her seat. Only now, Lola is gone. Kenna, Greer and Aylee still sit nearby. Francis and Tomás continue to sh**t arrows at the target)
AYLEE (speaking to Mary): So. Is it done? Are you marrying?
MARY: The agreement is close, but it's complicated.
GREER: Is anything uncomplicated in France?
(What looks to be a servant approaches Tomás and Francis, carrying a single rose on a silk pillow. Tomás picks the rose up and carries it over to Mary.)
TOMÁS: Will you accept my favor, Mary, Queen of Scots? (Tomás looks around, noticing that people are whispering)
TOMÁS (to Francis): Have I offended?
FRANCIS: Not at all. Please.
MARY (reaching for the rose): Thank you, Tomás. I am honored.
(After seeing Mary accept the rose from Tomás, Francis storms off. Mary gets out of her seat, lays the rose down on it and follows him)
MARY: I'm sorry, that was thoughtless of him to publicly offer his favor
FRANCIS: I don't know. I think it was very well thought out, but I don't see the point. He has already won your hand, Hasn't he?
MARY: The treaty is almost complete.
FRANCIS: So, you're leaving.
MARY: Francis, I wanted to tell you
FRANCIS: If you mean to tell me you don't want to go, please don't. I'm trying to help. I did everything I could to help Scotland, so you could stay. It was almost enough. If not for one single spy. Someone who's probably here with us right now.
MARY: I'm so sorry.
(Mary goes to press her hand against Francis' cheek, but he pulls away from her.
MEANWHILE: A white haired man approaches King Henry and begins whispering something in his ear.)
KENNA: What's he telling King Henry?
(Henry looks on disapprovingly, clearly upset over something)
KENNA: It's not good news.
AYLEE: I hope it's not Bash.
(Suddenly Henry sits up. A team of guards go over to apprehend Simon Westbrook ; The English diplomat)
SIMON: What is this? Take your hands off of me! I'm Lord Simon Westbrook. I'm the envoy of England!
HENRY: You're a m*rder and a spy! You slipped word to you country-men that French troops were being sent to Scotland. You caused a slaughter, nearly k*lling my son!
SIMON: That's absurd! I'm a diplomat! I'm here to help keep the peace.
HENRY: Then you failed your mission! So your Queen won't mind when I send her your head. Take him away!
(The knights do as they are told)
SIMON (still resisting imprisonment): Your majesty... you're mstaken.. Let go of me. I've done no such thing. Why would I?!
ACT 2: CASTLE
(Back in the castle, Mary is upstairs pacing in front of a large, stained glass window)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Poor Mary. You feel like the King will never see you. And you're a queen.
MARY: I'm glad that my unhappiness brings you such pleasure.
QUEEN CATHERINE (somewhat laughing as she speaks): Your unhappiness gives me no pleasure. You're absence, however...
MARY (interrupting the Queen): Why do you hate me so? If I'm going to Portugal; why not just say it? You were kind to me when I was young.
QUEEN CATHERINE: When I look at you, I see death. I see your country, hanging around my son's neck. I see his men off defending your country; dying..
MARY: If I am such a burden, make the King release me. So I may be Portugal's burden instead.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I wish I could, but Henry feels that Scotland has been poached from him.
MARY: How can I make the King change his mind?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Well, there is one small thing.
IN THE THRONE ROOM:
(Mary has come to speak with the King about releasing her from her engagement to Francis. After the conversation she just had with Catherine, she bows down to the King as he sits on his throne)
MARY: and how may I help France, your majesty?
KING HENRY: These English; we keep them at court to help keep peace, but it appears they don't want peace.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Their envoy, Simon, was overheard boasting in a local tavern about his role in the ambush -- how he warned his countrymen of our soldier's movements.
KING HENRY: The trouble is, to condem a diplomat, we need testimony no nation can question. A witness whose word is unassailable.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Instead, we have her.
(Catherine brings attention to a young girl also standing in the throne room. The whole room erupts in a audible whisper. Francis approaches Mary to fill her in on the girl's history)
FRANCIS (whispering to Mary): She's a prost*tute, Mary, but a very brave woman. She came here at great risk to aid the King's justice.
MARY: You want me to put my name to her words?
FRANCIS: If you don't, the man goes free -- the man who put my brother at death's door.
MARY (approaching the girl): What is your name?
JUDITH: Judith, uh (she curtsies the Queen), my lady.
MARY: and you saw Simon with your own eyes, Judith?
JUDITH: Yeah and I heard them call him by name too. He had a fine face and posh clothes and that medallion around his neck. The one with the sun's rays.
MARY: The Royal English seal? And you know that this seal means he is a very powerful man and that he could hurt you, but you came forward anyway. Why?
JUDITH: I heard how that Englishman talked. He's a heartless man, playing games with other men's lives.
MARY (seeming to believe the girl's story, thus turning to face the King): If I sign my name to her statement, will you release me from my engagement to Francis?
(Henry nods his head in agreement)
MARY: Very well, then.
KING HENRY: Notify the executioner. The English spy will lose his head at the *unintelligible* banquet.
OUTSIDE THE THRONE ROOM:
NOSTRADAMUS: Well it's done? Mary is engaged to Tomás and she's leaving? You've gotten your wish.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I never wished for a spy to cause French blood to spill.
NOSTRADAMUS: Then, it's unfortunate for you that that spy happened to be Simon.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Perhaps he made himself useful so that I would overlook his larger crime. I will not.
NOSTRADAMUS: So the end justifies the means?
QUEEN CATHERINE: This will save my son's life. Unless you tell me your visions have changed.
NOSTRADAMUS: No. If anything, it's the opposite. My dreams are more vivid, more ominous. Mary's presence here will cost you your firstborn.
IN MARY'S ROOM:
(After Henry officially releases Mary from her engagement to Francis, she immediately went to her room to begin packing her belongings. Her ladies-in-waiting eventually retire to her room wth her)
GREER: The engagement's been officially for less than an hour and you're already packing?
MARY: I have no choice. We're going to Portugal in two days -- right after the Michaelmas banquet.
AYLEE: You're leaving?! What about us? You don't want us to come with you?
MARY: Of course I do - More than anything, but you do have a choice! I can't ask you to come with me when none of you expected to live in Portugal. You all moved from Scotland to live here, in France.
LOLA: No, Mary. We left to be with you. MARY: So, you'll come with me?
(In unison, all of the girls, except for Kenna, say "of course.")
MARY: I don't deserve any of you.
GREER: You deserve to marry someone you love, or at least like.
MARY: Kings and Queens don't have that luxury.
IN THE COURTYARD:
(An upset Francis is outside, sh**ting arrows at person etched out of shubbery. Mary comes upon he scene, seeing that he had h*t the target several times in the heart)
MARY: I wonder whose face you're imagining on that target. A Portuguese, perhaps?
(Francis smiles faintly, before reloading his bow with another arrow)
FRANCIS: Maybe next time. This time, it's that English envoy.
(He arches back to sh**t, releasing the arrow, where it makes contact with the dummy's heart)
MARY: Simon's lucky you're not the headsman, or he'd be d*ad already.
FRANCIS: I don't know who's lucky anymore. I use to think that we were. The *mumble* we had as children; The time we've had since you've been back at court. Now I feel those days like something sharp in my heart.
MARY: Let's not speak of this...
(Francis puts down his bow and brings Mary close to him)
MARY: I want... I just wish...
FRANCIS (interrupting Mary): Mary, we can't. We can't...
(Francis looks around, making sure no one is spying on the pair)
FRANCIS: The castle.
(Mary kisses Francis' hand and begins thinking)
MARY: Maybe we can find some other place? At sunset?
(Mary releases her grip on Francis and begins to walk away. Meanwhile, it is revealed that someone has indeed been spying; One of Tomas' men. He then goes to report what he witnessed to Tomas)
ACT 3: KING'S CHAMBERS
THE KING'S CHAMBERS:
(Henry hears a knock on the door of his bedroom chambers. He goes to answer it, finding Kenna standing there)
HENRY: Kenna
KENNA: Your grace
(He opens the door further and Kenna walks into the room, smiling at him)
HENRY: I was surprised when you were announced, I didn't think...
(Before he can finish, she kisses him passionately)
HENRY (without looking up or breaking their embrace): You seem different now... more willing.
KENNA: I am.
HENRY: I wonder why.
KENNA: I'm leaving in two days. I want this.
(They finally stop kissing for a moment to talk)
HENRY: Is that meant to convince you, or me? Are you sure of this?
KENNA: Yes, but it's not all I want. I want to stay.
HENRY: Stay? Stay as what? You're Mary's lady. If she's gone, what position would you hold at court?
KENNA: Well, the position you would give me... as your mistress. Perhaps, in time, I could have more.
HENRY: Kenna; I have a mistress. Diane has been with me for half my life. We've had decades together. The heart needs time.
KENNA: Mine doesn't and even if it does, I have no time.
(Kenna is clearly displeased with how the conversation devolved. Thus, she decides to leave)
IN THE INFIRMARY:
(Upstairs in the castle, Francis stands over the bed of his sleepy brother, who is still fighting for his life)
FRANCIS (speaking to his mother, who enters the room through a loud door): I'm trying to understand how this could happen, but I can't. We're not at w*r with the English; We were careful to send enough men to discourage their aggression but not, not to thr*at them.
QUEEN CATHERINE (trying to console Fancis): Which is why you should stop blaming yourself!
FRANCIS: I don't blame myself, I blame Simon. My instincts were right and the Portuguese proved it. As soon as the English saw that Scotland had a friend that would defend them, they stopped their att*cks. If it weren't for that ambush...
QUEEN CATHERINE: Mary would still be yours..
FRANCIS: This is not about my broken heart, mother.
QUEEN CATHERINE: No. It's about your good heart. I'm not mocking you Francis, your heart is good; it's good enough to love your bastard brother and to try to love your future wife. If only your father's heart could do that...
FRANCIS: If only mine could stop. What if Mary's just moving from one waiting game, to another?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Let her go, Francis. You'e worrying over nothing.
FRANCIS: You would say that. You can't stand her! My instincts say not to trust Tomas. And they were right before, maybe it's time to stop doubting them.
IN THE COURTYARD:
(Mary is outside of the castle awaiting sunset when Francis is set to meet her in private)
MARY (seeing Francis walk toward her, she breaks out into a smile): I almost thought you weren't coming.
FRANCIS: I've been busy.
MARY: I know. You've been asking questions about Tomas. It's all over the castle and if I've heard...
FRANCIS (interrupting Mary): Tomas will hear too. I don't care. Let him think I'm jealous if he wants to.. as long as he knows he's accountable for how he treats you. I hear he's cruel, to his servants.
MARY: Francis; thank you. You don't need to worry. Now come, sit with me.
(Mary grabs Francis by the hand and leads him underneath a nearby tree. They sit together)
MARY: I've asked my uncle to be sure of my safety in Portugal. He assures me it will be fine.
FRANCIS: You need more than your uncle's word. Mary, if anything happens to you, I'll feel responsible. When I couldn't make Scotland safe, I told you to marry this man.
MARY: I'm not going into this blindly and I won't let him hurt me.
FRANCIS: There are rumors about his scheming; his cruelty.
MARY: There are rumors about all royals. You know what they say about you? Half of Europe thinks that you're sickly; and weak; and stunted.
FRANCIS: That half-blind portrait artist didn't realize I was sitting in a chair while my sister was standing, and now, half of Europe thinks I'm a dwarf.
MARY (laughing): They say Bash got all the good looks and passion, and all you have is tedious...
(Before Mary can finish her sentence, Francis stops her with a passionate kiss. He gently pushes Mary down onto a blanket under the tree and they continue kissing, whilst Francis runs his hands all over her body)
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
(After her conversation with Francis, she retreats to her room with her ladies in waiting; Greer, Lola, Kenna and Aylee. When they enter the room, all happy and overtly giddy, they are met by Tomás and another gentleman accompanying him)
MARY: Tomás...
TOMÀS: Forgive me, Mary. I needed to see you and and I couldn't wait for formalities. I would like to discuss some rules and your ladies should hear them too.
MARY: Rules?
TOMÀS: Rules you will live by in Portugal. You seem to believe that until you marry me, we are somehow free. If so, you're mistaken.
MARY: My lord, I don't know if I like your tone.
TOMÀS: Do you have whipping boys in Scotland?
MARY: Whipping boys? Well, some use them...
TOMÀS: Good. Miguel is now your whipping boy.
(Tomás rears back and smacks Miguel very hard across the face)
TOMÀS: That is for the offense of questioning me.
MARY (understandably upset): Tomás..please.
(Tomás once again plants a large smack on the whipping boy's face)
TOMÀS: That is for interrupting me.
(Mary doesn't say another word to him on the subject)
TOMÀS: You are bound by a treaty agreed by your betters: Your Uncle, myself and King Henry. And if you're not impressed by the treaty, maybe you will be by this: My ships made your country safe, but I can remove them as easily as this.
(Tomás picks up a glass on a table and drops it onto the ground, causing it to shatter into pieces)
TOMÀS: Whatever freedoms of actions or thought you were given by Francis, forget them. When I am King, I will rule like most
Kings: what belongs to my Queen belongs to me. For Miguel's sake, I hope we are clear. Are we?
MARY: Yes, My lord. Quite clear.
(At this, Miguel and Tomás exit the room)
AYLEE: You can't marry him. I beg of you.
MARY: Aylee: You heard him,
AYLEE: but you're a queen, there must be some other way
MARY: If there was any other option, don't you think I would take it? I have to marry Tomás, no matter who he is: no matter my feelings. Because I am a Queen, I have no other option.
ACT 4: THE INFIRMARY
IN THE INFIRMARY:
(Nostradamus puts his hand over Bash's forehead, checking his temperature)
NOSTRADAMUS (to Francis): Good news. The fever is broken.
FRANCIS (breathing a sigh of relief): Ahh. Thank God.
BASH: Ahh. So can I get out?
NOSTRADAMUS: I wouldn't recommend it. You're going to live if you don't tear your wound open; if you keep resting; if you take proper care.
BASH: If I have to spend one more moment in this bed..
NOSTRADAMUS (cutting Bash off): I'm going to make us both feel better and leave.
(Nostradamus does as he said he would; he leaves. As he exits, Francis hands Bash a tin cup)
BASH: You promised you'd sneak me some wine, you liar. You look worse than I do.
(Bash passes the tin back over to Francis)
BASH: It's Tomás, isn't it? Lola told me about your inquiries.
FRANCIS: I don't have any proof yet, but everything in me says that he's a monster. There are whispers in court that he m*rder his first wife.
BASH: If they couldn't find proof in Portugal, how will you find it here?
FRANCIS: I don't know yet, but I have to try. I can't let Mary...
(Suddenly, Tomás enters the room and interrupts the conversation)
TOMÀS: But you can, and you must. You've been asking questions about me. Did you think I wouldn't know?
FRANCIS: No. No, I hoped you would.
TOMÀS: Why?
FRANCIS: Because your future wife is a friend of France. Her well-being concerns this country, and always will.
TOMÀS: Is that a thr*at? If anything happens to Mary, you'll what?
FRANCIS: I would hope we won't need to find out. Wouldn't you, as her fiance?
TOMÀS: If anything happens to her, it will be up to me. She's my property now, not yours. No matter how many touches you steal. You'll never be more than the powerless princeling who couldn't even send a few men to defend her country.
(At this, Francis launches himself at Tomás, trying to h*t him. Bash tries to hold him back.)
BASH: Francis, no!
(Bash appears to be in great pain, perhaps because he tore open his wound. Francis helps him back to bed)
FRANCIS: Sit.
(Tomás lets out a little laugh and leaves them alone)
FRANCIS: Go ahead; say it. I'm not thinking with my head.
BASH: Head, heart, who cares? He is a monster, no matter what the pope chooses to call him; and if you won't k*ll him, I will.
ELSEWHERE IN THE CASTLE:
(The rest of the residents at court are preparing for the costume ball that's set to take place later that evening. Mary and her ladies gather around, looking through costumes and jewelery)
MARY: Well, I would never know there was a costume banquet in an hour from the faces I see.
LOLA: How can you be so cheerful, knowing how soon we're leaving?
MARY: Should I spend my last hours in France with moping and tears?
KENNA (seeing King Heny from across the room): Don't forget pining and regret.
(Greer also sees her lover from across the room; the servant who she is embroiled in a tryst with)
GREER: Mary's right. What's the matter with us? Why wallow in misery if we have a choice? Why not use the hours we have left to seize some pleasure while we still can?
KENNA: Yes. Some pleasure.
(Kenna holds a dress up to her body for the others to inspect)
KENNA: Or perhaps some spite.
MARY: A lovely wood sprite! France will never forget you.
KENNA: I hope that they won't.
AYLEE (to Greer, who is also looking for a perfect dress to wear): You want to dress up in a footman's livery? Yes.
GREER: Why not? But in case I change my mind, I'll take both.
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
(In her chambers, Mary is trying on a pair of earrings in the mirror, until she hears some rumblng across the room. She goes to inspect to find a nicknack left among her possessions)
MARY (inspecting the trinket): What's this? The royal English seal.
(Mary begins thinking about the significance of the find, realizing who left it and why)
MARY (to herself and outloud): This is Simon's, isn't it? Why would you want me to have this?
IN THE COURTYARD:
(Bash has finally got out of his bed and is outside moving his sword around. Finally, Lola approaches him in some sort of an angel costume)
LOLA (to Bash): I've been looking for you everywhere.
BASH (amused): I know you. I met you in a dream I had about norse gods and goddesses from that book we read. The reality's better.
LOLA: Are you sure you should be swinging that sword? You might reopen your wound.
BASH: Well, better my sword reopens it than someone else's.
(From behind Lola, Bash spots Francis in his costume)
BASH: Aha! St. Michael, aren't you? Better be a real sword if you plan to slay Lucifer.
FRANCIS: You had to bring up Tomás?
LOLA: I don't understand why he changed so quickly. Before Mary said yes, Tomás seemed a whole other person.
FRANCIS: He was desperate. He'd been looking for a Queen all over the continent. No doubt to make sure the pope declared him legitimate. Of course he'd put on an act if it got what him he wanted.
BASH: Well, he got bloody lucky; didn't he? If I hadn't been ambushed getting those men off to Scotland, Mary wouldn't be marrying him.
FRANCIS: Say that again. If our men hadn't been ambushed, then Mary wouldn't need his men, or his marriage proposal.
IN THE THRONE ROOM:
(As the party kicks off, Simon is sitting, chained up in what appears to be the throne room; watching as people eat, drink and celebrate all around him)
MARY (approaching Simon to chat): Simon, I was told I could find you here.
SIMON: So you've heard. I'm the entertainment. Or my head is, when it comes off at midnight.
(Mary doesn't show even a note of concern for his predicament)
SIMON: Try not to look so upset.
MARY: Why would I be upset?
SIMON: I understand you signed the statement naming me as the spy behind that ambush. I don't suppose you care that I'm innocent? MARY: I might... if I believed it.
(Mary is holding the seal she found left for her in her room.)
SIMON: Is that my seal stamp? Wondered where that thing went.
MARY: Tell me; why is your seal so similar to the royal English seal?
SIMON: The Queen is a cousin by marriage. She styles the rose white, we style it red. Why do you ask?
MARY: A friend of mine was interested. Thought I might be interested, too.
(Tomás has been watching Mary from afar and decides to forcibly end the conversation)
TOMÀS: Mary? Come here, please.
(Mary listens to Tomás and begins walking toward him -- covering her face with a mask)
MARY: Good evening, my Lord.
TOMÀS: You look like a huntress.
MARY: I chose my costume for you. I know that the bow is your favorite w*apon.
TOMÀS: My second favorite, but thank you.
(Tomás grabs Mary by the arm and pushes her toward him in an aggressive fashion)
MARY: Your grip is a little tight, my Lord.
TOMÀS: No tighter than your former fiance's; I'm sure.
MARY: I'm sure I don't know what you mean.
TOMÀS: Hey. Must I send for your whipping boy?
(Francis grabs Tomás)
FRANCIS: Let go of her.
(Tomás aggressively pulls away from Francis)
TOMÀS: You've forgotten our talk. Mary is my fiance now.
FRANCIS: You came here almost a crown prince, but not quite. You needed a Queen to seal your deal with the pope. And when Mary needed troops sent to her country, you were suddenly there to help, because my men were ambushed...
MARY: on a tip from a spy in court -- a spy we assumed was Simon.
FRANCIS: When Tomas had a far better motive.
(Tomás grabs Mary's arm again)
TOMÀS: If you're accusing the next King of Portugal; I hope you have proof.
FRANCIS: We'll have proof soon enough. In the meantime, let go of Mary.
(Tomás does let go and he storms off, pushing Bash as he walks by him)
FRANCIS: Are you all right?
MARY: Yes. You said you'd have proof? Did you mean his valet Miguel?
FRANCIS: Tomas could not have acted alone.
MARY: He hates his master. I think he'll help us if we can protect him.
FRANCIS: We will. I've sent guards to find him.
MARY: If Simon is innocent, and the woman whose words I signed my name to lied, she's a pawn in this King's game as much as I am. She might help us, too. Otherwise, If Simon dies wrongly, we will both have w*r with England. And we can't let that happen.
OUTSIDE; IN THE COURT YARD:
(As Francis and Bash go to look for proof of his involvement, Lola comes looking for them)
LOLA: Miguel wasn't in his chambers, but a footman said he saw him leaving with Tomas, headed for the game trails.
BASH: Hunting now?
FRANCIS: Tomas must want to k*ll Miguel before anyone talks to him.
(Francis and Bash take off on horseback, in search of Miguel)
ACT 5: AT THE COSTUME BALL
AT THE COSTUME BALL:
(Greer is standing in the main ball room, in a beautiful gown with a mask covering her features. Suddenly, she is approached by the kitchen boy; Leith)
LEITH (pulling her aside): Is there anything my Lady wants?
GREER: Keep your voice down! You're a kitchen boy. If anyone catches you here, you'll be flogged.
LEITH: Did you leave this costume in my room, or didn't you?
GREER: Yes, but we have to be discreet.
(She guides Leith to a small tree in the corner of the room)
GREER (in a hushed tone): My family is depending on me to bring home a title and lands -- to marry someone who's better than me.
GREER: Why not just celebrate michaelmas?
GREER: What does that even mean?
LEITH: Saint Michael. He slewed Lucifer; who sewed vanity, pride and shame, which is why we wear these masks. So on this one day, no one's better than anyone else; We're all the same.
(Greer kisses him passiontely)
MEANWHILE: ELSEWHERE IN THE KINGDOM
(Mary, Francis and Bash have caught up wth Judith; the prost*tute who fingered Simon for the att*ck on French troops)
JUDITH: What lies! Why would I?
MARY: I'd say for the money to buy that new cloak and those boots, and to get a ride out of town on that vegetable cart.
(Mary looks at a bruise on Judith's face)
MARY (pointing it out): And for this; to make him stop hitting you.
JUDITH: I got that from a patron.
MARY: When I signed your statement, you told me that you saw Simon clearly. His face; his clothes; his medallion. What was the color of the rose on his medallion? I'll make it easy for you. Was it red or white?
JUDITH: It was white, the seal of the English crown.
MARY: Simon's seal is different from England's. His rose is red.
JUDITH: Please leave me be. I'm so scared.
MARY: The King will have your head for your lies. But he may show you mercy if you tell me who made you lie, and tell me now!
JUDITH: He swore he would k*ll me.
MARY: He wasn't lying if he's who I think he is. Just tell me this: Would you know this man if you saw him again?
MARY (to the knights that are accompanying her): Get her on a horse. We don't have much time.
ELSEWHERE: IN THE WOODS
(Tomás and Miguel are galavanting off into the woods, with Tomás asking questions to ensure they covered their tracks)
TOMÀS: And you made sure the prost*tute left the village?
MIGUEL: I gave her the extra gold, like you said. I told her to leave today, or you would visit her again.
TOMÀS: Good. You've served me well, Miguel. I'll always remember. I'll make sure your family remembers, too.
MIGUEL: My family?
TOMÀS: Well, you understand you can't serve me while you still live.
MIGUEL: My Lord, please!
TOMÀS: It's not "My Lord" anymore. It's "Your Majesty," because, thanks to you, I'm going to be a King.
(Tomás draws an arrow and points it in Miguel's direction, only to be interrupted by Bash and Francis)
FRANCIS: No! Run, Miguel!
(Tomás decides to send the arrow toward Francis, before changing his mind and sh**ting Miguel in the back as he tries to flee. The arrow pierces his skin, causing him to fall facefirst onto the ground. He then reloads, but before he can, Bash pulls a sword on him, aiming at his throat)
FRANCIS (to Bash): Don't k*ll him. We need his confession.
BASH: I'm trying very hard not to.
(Francis rushes over to an injured Miguel, trying to help him)
FRANCIS: Miguel! You're alive. Don't worry, we can get this arrow out.
MIGUEL (nodding toward Tomás): I'm afraid of him.
(With that, Tomás pushes the sword away from Bash and they begin fighting with their swords. Meanwhile, Francis aims an arrow Tomás' way, but he has difficultes pinning down a moving target. Tomás manages to knock the sword from Bash's hands, knocking him onto the ground. As he goes to k*ll him, Francis rushes over and they begin fighting)
TOMÀS (to Francis): You're going to lose. You never learned how to take, like a bastard learns. Take a crown, take a woman, take a life!
(Tomás pushes Francis into a tree and aims an arrow at him, but before he can send it spiraling toward Francis, Bash gets up and att*cks him. Francis eventually holds a Kn*fe against his throat)
TOMÀS: You can't do it! If you k*ll me, you'll have w*r. But if you let me go with Mary, you'll have peace.
FRANCIS: When they take off your head, I'll remember the men you k*lled. And Mary.
(Tomás goes to s*ab Francis, but before he can, Francis s*ab him in the heart -- k*lling him)
FRANCIS (to Bash): Can you ride? We need to get back before they execute Simon.
BASH: k*lling isn't supposed to be easy. If your hands weren't shaking, you'd be him.
ACT 6: CASTLE
(Back at the ball, Mary and her ladies wait anxiously on Francis and Bash's return, as the spy will soon be excuted without proof that he is innocent)
AYLEE (noticing that the King, Queen and their executioner have arrived): What's going on?
LOLA: It's time for Simon's head to come off.
AYLEE: Where's Mary?
LOLA: Where's Francis and Bash?
KENNA: They're going to be too late.
(Kenna looks around the room and quietly leaves the rest of her friends to go speak with the King)
KENNA: Your Grace. I'm begging you, please wait for your sons to return. They think they can prove Simon innocent.
KING HENRY: So I've been told.But if I let justice wait for every last effort to prove a man innocent, there'd be no justice.
KENNA: Is that what the Queen says?
KING HENRY: No. The Queen says waiting makes me look weak, like less of a King. And she says it to everyone.
KENNA: If anything, I think it makes you look more like a King. Wise; and fair; and strong -- a King we can believe in.
KING HENRY (noticing that Kenna put on an overcoat): You finally covered yourself up. I couldn't think straight, seeing you before.
KENNA: I hope that thinking straight helps you make the right choice, and wait.
KING HENRY: Before. When you said your heart didn't have to wait...that was brave. Most people; especially here, they keep their hearts hidden.
KENNA: Foolish, is more like it, but thank you. If we do leave tomorrow, I don't mind you knowing that I'll think of you.
(Kenna goes to leave, but the King continues talking)
KING HENRY: Maybe Maybe foolish is something else. Maybe foolish is Diane endlessly shopping in Paris, leaving your King with no one to share his burdens. Maybe foolish is the Queen endlessly undermining your King's authority. Maybe foolish is not baring one's heart.
KENNA: What are you saying?
KING HENRY: I want you to stay. Whatever that means for Diane or Catherine. I want you, kenna.
(Suddenly, Bash and Francis arrive dragging the body of Tomás with them)
FRANCIS: Make way! This is your spy. We have witnesses.
(Mary enters with Miguel and Judith)
MARY: Two of them.
(Simon exhales a sigh of relief upon realizing that his life has been spared)
LATER ON:
(After the earlier events with Tomás, the King and Queen attempt to make things right with Simon and his country)
KING HENRY: Lord Westbrook, are you pleased that England has made you their new envoy to Portugal?
FRANCIS (whispering to Bash): He's pleased Portugal paid him a King's ransom to stay quiet about what Tomás did to him.
SIMON: Well, with respect, I'm pleased to be leaving here alive, Majesty.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Please thank Portugal's King for the sacrifice of his son Tomas, who gave his life to protect our son from a stag's horns while hunting.
KING HENRY: As to The Vile Rumors. Tomas plotted against France, tell the King we will ignore them if he will accept our sentiments.
SIMON: Since Portugal's King had no knowledge of any plot, I'm confident he will accept. The matter will be forgotten by all of us. And history, too, no doubt.
SIMON (approaching Queen Mary): You surprised me, Majesty. Most royals won't admit a mistake, let alone save a man's life to fix it.
MARY: Well, I hope that saving your life wasn't my second mistake.
(After ending the conversation with Simon, Mary kneels in front of the King and Queen)
KING HENRY: Mary, Queen of Scots, France is pleased to reinstate our marriage treaty with your country. As soon as negotiations...
MARY (interrupting the King): Thank you, Your Grace. Scotland is pleased as well. Especially since, this time, you and my uncle will be allowing me to guide negotiations.
QUEEN CATHERINE (mumbling exasperatedly): For God's sake.
KING HENRY: Mary, I don't think...
MARY (interrupting him again): In the view of the role Scotland played in resolving your troubles with Portugal, and in preventing the wrongful execution of a diplomat, we not only staved off w*r with England, but also spared our ally, France, considerable embarrassment. Which is why I am sure you will want to improve the terms, committing enough strength to keep your ally safe against England.
KING HENRY: Yes. Of course. Let's continue. (Speaking to someone off camera) As to the matter of lands for your dowry, there is Scottish crown property which France finds of interest.
(Mary gestures toward a book, which Greer brings over to her)
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
LOLA: Well done, Mary. You got practically everything Scotland wanted. Soldiers and ships and armaments.
MARY: Well, they got a few things, too. Our best timber, some farmland. But give it a few days, and we will have a far better treaty than before.
(Francis knocks on the door and enters the room)
FRANCIS: Am I interrupting?
IN THE KING'S CHAMBERS:
(Kenna knocks on the King's door)
KING HENRY (answerng it): You.
(He pulls Kenna into the room)
KING HENRY: You have tormented me long enough with waiting.
KENNA: I completely agree.
(They embrace and start kissing. Henry picks Kenna up in his arms and carries her to the bed)
KING HENRY: That's the kind of talk I like to hear from my mistress.
KENNA: I like it here. It's very nice.
KING HENRY: Well, I like it here.
KENNA: Be gentle. KING HENRY: I will. The first time.
(She rolls over on her side and Henry undresses her)
MARY: You k*lled a man to protect me. I'm not really sure what to say to that.
FRANICS: "Thank you"?
MARY: "Thank you" doesn't cover it. You were right. Your heart was right. I suppose you always were.
FRANCIS: How so?
MARY: It told you to take your time, be careful, make the right choice for France. And even last night, when we were so desperate to lose ourselves, you understood -- why it couldn't go too far.
FRANCIS: You know what my heart says now? It says that I should forget about politics and be with you, no matter what. You're a true Queen; a Queen that any King would k*ll for.
MARY: But your head says differently. I understand. Your instincts were right. They'll make you a great King someday.
(Francis and Mary walk out to the balcony and watch the darkness paint the sky ouside of the castle)
IN THE TUNNELS:
(Mary takes Simon's seal into the tunnels and sits it down)
MARY: Clarissa? I don't know if you're there, but thank you. You saved Simon's life and I suppose you saved mine. I used to feel so alone here. I don't anymore. And I hope you don't, either.
(As Mary leaves the tunnels and goes to bed, we see Clarissa doing the same) | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "01x04 - Hearts and Minds"} | foreverdreaming |
IN FRANCIS' CHAMBERS:
(Francis and Mary wake up in each other's arms, with the sun streaming through the window. Francis lies awake, stroking Mary's bare arm)
MARY (rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes): It's morning.
FRANCIS: I know.
(Mary freaks out a bit, but Francis tries to calm her nerves)
FRANCIS: If the servants are gossiping about your unmade bed, it is too late to rectify the situation.
(Francis starts kissing Mary all over and she giggles loudly)
MARY: Do you think we're being too reckless?
FRANCIS: I'm yours. You're mine. I hope you're pregnant.
MARY: Francis!
FRANCIS: It would force the wedding sooner. How could my father argue it?
MARY: You don't think what we're doing is wrong? As we are not wed yet?
FRANCIS: After we rule for a great long while, and we leave France and Scotland to our children, and our grandchildren and our great grandchildren, and we meet our maker, you can ask him yourself.
(The pair start kissing again and sink back into the bed until they hear a knock at the door, which causes them to cover themselves with their blanket)
MESSENGER: Forgive me, but there's word for you; from the Holy See.
FRANCIS: The Pope?
MESSENGER: The cardinal from the Vatican is in the throne room.
(The messenger bows and leaves, leaving Francis and Mary alone again)
FRANCIS: Or you could ask him now.
(They laugh and pull the covers back up over their heads)
FRANCIS: As the word of God is back at court.
IN THE KING'S CHAMBERS:
(The King has returned to court after the heist of the castle, that saw Kenna b*at up, Mary almost r*ped, Francis almost kiddnapped, and several dozen men d*ad)
KENNA: You can be honest. I'd gladly trade pain for respect.
KING HENRY: Aren't you in enough pain?
KENNA: Aren't I, seeing you like this? You've barely been by my side.
KING HENRY: You need to rest.
KENNA: ... 'Cause you've been with her.
(Kenna is speaking of Dianne, the King's first mistress)
KING HENRY: Kenna, please.
KENNA: I hear the rumors. I ask the servants. Diane's been seen in your room.
KING HENRY: She gives me counsel. She's my friend. Can we please forget about Diane?
KENNA: Can you? Henry.
(The King is very agitated with Kenna. He looks away from her, hoping she'll drop it)
KENNA: Henry, please look at me. Tell me the truth. Tell me that you love me.
KING HENRY: I can't let her go. I'm sorry. You wanted honesty. I came back to the horrors of this att*ck. A stranger with an old vendetta who came to destroy my line.
KENNA (raising her voice): They came for your sons, but they att*cked me... because of my association to you. Because you made me your mistress. I nearly died because of you, and you choose this moment to tell me that you want her?
KING HENRY: I don't know if she's a habit, or a crutch, but I need her.
KENNA: I've given you everything: my virtue. I'm... I'm.. destroyed.
(Tears stream down Kenna's face)
KING HENRY: Oh, that's simply not true. Kenna, when we started this, you knew I had a wife and a mistress. Perhaps it was overreaching on both our parts to assume that I was capable of... exclusivity.
KENNA: So, this is it? You're through with me?
KING HENRY: That's not what I'm saying at all. We can continue. But if you ask me again to choose between you and Diane, I'll choose Diane.
ELSEWHERE IN THE CASTLE:
(The whole lot of people at court have all gathered. Bash finds his mother and pulls her aside)
BASH: Does the cardinal's visit have anything to do with you? .. With your plans for me?
DIANE: No. I would know in advance, and the communications have taken place in the utmost secrecy. Legitimization takes time.
BASH: I don't want my brother's job.
DIANE: Even if the job gets you the woman you want?
(Francis and Mary begin walking down the same corrider)
PERSON 1 (to Mary): Your Majesty.
PERSON 2 (bowing): Your Majesty.
(Diane sees Bash watching Mary)
DIANE: She may care for Francis, but Mary will wed the next king of France.
BASH: That's no way to win a woman.
DIANE: It worked for him. Why not you?
(All of the people start to congregate in the throne room, where Henry and Catherine are preparing to propose a toast)
KING HENRY (to the crowd): God bless us all.
(The King takes the Queen by the hand, with the cup in the other)
KING HENRY: There is news sent to us by Cardinal Tesson, the papal emissary. In England, the Tudor queen is dying.
(The room erupts in murmurs)
CARDINAL TESSON: While she has not named her successor...
(King Henry cuts the Cardinal off and finishes the sentiment)
KING HENRY: many suspect, and believe, the rightful heir to the English throne is you: Mary Stuart.
(Mary's face goes completely blank. While the rest of the crowd applaudes)
KING HENRY (Henry approaches Mary and takes her by the hand): The second England's queen dies, you will make your claim. Your marriage to my son will strengthen that claim, as it will show the world that you have the might of France at your side. France fulfills its promise to Scotland and to you. It's time you and Francis are wed.
QUEEN CATHERINE (mumbling to herself): No, you can't do that.
(Henry walks back over to his throne and proposes yet another toast to the entire room)
KING HENRY: We must celebrate. It's God's will.
(Meanwhile, Nostradamus has a vision of Francis falling to his knees, Clarissa removing her face mask, frost melting from a window, and Mary's ladies all gathered around a d*ad body, while Mary cries hysterically)
KING HENRY: Do you hear me? It's God's will.
(The King goes over to speak with the Cardinal and another man with him, while Francis and Mary speak quietly)
MARY: Am I understanding this right? That a new condition of the alliance, of our marriage, is that I deliver England to you? My father wants it.
FRANCIS: The Vatican's support makes him think he can get it.
MARY: Elizabeth has support, as well. Armies she's been gathering for years. You realize what laying claim to England could cost me?
FRANCIS: Yes, I do. It could cost you your head.
IN A PRIVATE CHAMBER:
KING HENRY: When the English Queen dies, so does Henry the VIII's line. You are his next relation by blood.
MARY: Elizabeth is Henry the VIII's daughter.
KING HENRY: By Anne Boleyn. Her parents' marriage was never recognized by the Catholic Church. She's illegitimate. Her claim is weak, at best. In God's eyes, she doesn't even exist.
QUEEN CATHERINE: How convenient God has this opinion, as Elizabeth happens to be Protestant.
KING HENRY: The Pope doesn't want to lose a nation to Protestantism. Can you blame him?
QUEEN CATHERINE: A Scottish queen on the English throne? A daughter born of one of Henry's wives, dismissed? There will be uprisings. Wars. Catholics against Protestants, neighbor against neighbor.
MARY: England against Scotland.
FRANCIS: And Elizabeth against Mary. Have you thought about that?
QUEEN CATHERINE: They say she's very cunning, and that she has many followers. And she's always perceived Mary as a thr*at.
KING HENRY: She will come after you, whether you've reached for the crown or not. As for strife, civil wars, England will never be weaker. What better time to strike? If they push back, if there are wars, we will win.
MARY: You hate them.
KING HENRY: England tore into my country for half a century. They spilled French blood on French soil. Yes I hate them. You can make them ours. Together, you will some day rule half of Europe. England, Scotland and France. Don't let fear keep you from greatness. This is your destiny.
(King Henry takes the Queen aside and quietly, but sternly issues her a warning)
KING HENRY: I want my son married to England's next queen, because I want England. Cost me England, and I will k*ll you. Are we clear?
(In typical Catherine fashion, she says nothing)
IN A CASTLE CORRIDER:
(Bash stands overlooking the grounds. His mother comes to chat with him)
BASH: I know. It's over. Did the Vatican tell you?
DIANE: They don't need to. There's no way the Church can support a bastard's claim to the throne in France when it's crushing a bastard's claim in England. I'm sorry.
BASH: I'm not.
DIANE: It was wrong of me to dangle her in front of you... to play with your feelings.
BASH: Don't.
DIANE: You can't want her even in secret, even in your heart. Francis will see your desire for her. You told me yourself, he already has.
BASH: He forbade me from her.
DIANE: And what effect did that have?
BASH: You and Francis you talk as if Mary's a cool glass of water, and I'm a man dying of thirst.
DIANE: And it's only our talk that makes you thirsty? Do you know why I warn you, why Francis has? Because there's a thirst inside her, as well, for you. Keep your distance from her. No one is worth dying for.
OUTSIDE OF DIANE'S CHAMBERS:
(Kenna has come to Diane's chambers to speak with her about her ongoing relationship with Henry.She sees a servant outside, so she speaks to her)
KENNA: You there, are these Diane's chambers?
SERVANT: Yes, my lady, but she's not in at the moment.
KENNA: Well, tell her that the king's mistress would very much like a meeting.
(Kenna goes to leave, but before she can, someone mistakes her for Dianne, easy considering the fact that she has a hood over her head)
FATHER RONISSI: My lady: I'm glad to have found you alone.
KENNA: Do I know you?
FATHER RONISSI: I'm Father Ronissi, and you, as I just heard, are the king's mistress.
KENNA: How do you do, Madame de Poitiers? You're younger than I imagined. I'm the priest who has been answering your letters.
(Kenna is dumbfounded, but she doesn't reveal her true identity. She plays along instead)
FATHER RONISSI: To the Vatican? About your son, Sebastian.
KENNA: Sebastian?
FATHER RONISSI: Of course you would want him recognized, but you must realize, with the Pope's blessing of Mary and Francis' wedding, his desire to service the faithful of England, that your efforts must stop.
KENNA: Mine and the king's?
FATHER RONISSI: The king is completely unaware, as you'd requested. I hope you understand.
KENNA: I'm beginning to. I mean of course. Thank you.
OUTSIDE THE CASTLE:
(Hand in hand, Francis and Mary enjoy the weather outside the castle walls)
FRANCIS: Are you breathing easier now?
MARY: I still don't want to go back to the castle. They'll want answers.
FRANCIS: My father didn't pose our marriage as a question, but I will. Do you want this?
MARY: I want you, but I'm afraid. I don't want to start a w*r. And what if my efforts fail? What if no one supports my claim in England?
FRANCIS: Every Catholic will. I know you want time to sort this out, to assess what France and the Vatican can offer. And maybe we have time before the English queen dies; before you have to stake your claim, but we are a separate issue. And this is our chance, right now, to be together, without anyone, or anything, standing in our way.
MARY: What are you saying?
FRANCIS: Marry me. And we'll figure out what you should do with England later. MARY: You mean trick your father, the King of France, into believing that I agree with him?
FRANCIS: Yes. We should deceive him. It's for a very good cause.
MARY: And you won't pressure me later about England?
FRANCIS: I'll pressure you, and listen to you, and argue with you, and love you until the day I die. Together, we'll decide what is right, as husband and wife.
(Francis drops down to one knee and takes her by the hand)
FRANCIS: Marry me. Say yes. MARY: Yes. Yes!
(They kiss one another and Francis picks her up and twirls her around in his arms. They then run back to the castle, laughing and holding hands)
IN THE QUEENS CHAMBERS:
(The Queen is seen putting some strange substance on the bars of her bird's cage, she is interrupted though, as after the legitimization revelation, Kenna goes to tell the Queen of Dianne's plans. She barges in, followed by a guard)
GUARD: Yes! I am sorry, Your... Your Majesty. Lady Kenna said you would be expecting her?
KENNA: I need a moment alone. It would be in both of our interests for you to hear me out.
(The Queen sees her busted lip and bruised face)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh, God, you look terrible. I feel for you, but if this is about Henry, you can't imagine how little he interests me at the moment.
KENNA: It's also about your son. I can save him immeasurable pain.
(The Queen asks the guard to leave)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Go.
(He, of course, obliges, bowing and leaving the two of them alone)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Is this about the wedding?
KENNA: The wedding? No, it's about Diane.
(The Queen rolls her eyes, without even turning from her chair to face Kenna)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh. Get out.
KENNA: Why do you allow her to live here? Why do you agree to coexist?
QUEEN CATHERINE: She means nothing to me, not anymore.
KENNA: Why, when she took what's yours, what's now mine?
(The Queen finds this statement very annoying, but this time, she turns to look at her)
KENNA: What does she have over him? And why shouldn't we use information that I have over her?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Go on.
KENNA: I think Diane plans to have Bash legitimized.
(Catherine gets up out of her chair and moves closer to Kenna)
KENNA: Behind your back, behind Henry's. It could cost France everything.
QUEEN CATHERINE: How do you know this?
KENNA: I was on my way to her room to confront her.
QUEEN CATHERINE: To say what?
KENNA: I don't know. Beg her to give me a chance, I suppose.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh, dear lord, you really are a child.
KENNA: I was mistaken for her. That's when I learned of her efforts to have him recognized by the Church. What else could that mean? Her plans have come to naught. That's what the emissary told me.
QUEEN CATHERINE: He adores Bash, and obviously, he loves Diane.
(The bird falls from the perch of its cage)
QUEEN CATHERINE: But he won't like this news, not now. Not with England in play. She's rattling the line of succession, just when France needs to look very secure. And undermining existing rulers? Well, some might call that treason. She could be ex*cuted for this.
(The Queen takes far too much joy in the possibility)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Would that take care of your Diane problem?
KENNA: No, that's not what I want.
QUEEN CATHERINE: And yet, you could live with it.
(Kenna says nothing, but the look on her face says it all)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Ah. Go. I'll see what I can do with this information, and how it might benefit me.
(Kenna bows and leaves, allowing the Queen to go back to her work)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Hmm.
(She now notices tthe bird lies d*ad at the bottom of its cage)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Very good.
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
(She and her ladies gather to discuss all that has happened during the day)
GREER: We're so happy for you.
MARY: Lola, what about you?
LOLA: I'm pleased. I.. I just I want you to be safe. I want you to be sure. England's an enormous risk. Are you taking that risk for us, your people, or for the man you love?
MARY: My duty is to Scotland, and soon, to France. I will make the decision that my conscience dictates. Francis knows that.
AYLEE: But the king's orders?
MARY: What the king doesn't know won't hurt him.
(Clarissa has been listening in on their conversation from the passageways)
AYLEE: He'd defy his father for you?
MARY: For us, for his people. He's a good man. I'm going to marry him tomorrow night.
GREER: Tomorrow?!
(The girls shrike in excitement and shock)
GREER: But what... what will you wear?
AYLEE: Well, well, what about your mother? She won't be here.
MARY: Well, I have all of you. You're my real family.
(Greer runs off to get fashion accessories
GREER: Mary, come. Let's try different things with your hair.
AYLEE: Up or down? What do you think?
LOLA: Depends on the veil.
(The girls all giggle)
IN NOSTRADAMUS' CHAMBERS:
(The Queen meets her friend to discuss k*lling Mary once again)
QUEEN CATHERINE: My son doesn't believe that the future can be seen. He thinks it's his and Mary's to control. I've tried to drive her away. I've tried... to destroy her reputation, his love for her... I've terrorized her.
NOSTRADAMUS: Don't do this. She is an innocent.
QUEEN CATHERINE: No, she's his equal in every way. He loves her, she loves him. What more could I want for my son except his survival?
NOSTRADAMUS: There is another way.
QUEEN CATHERINE: There is no other way, except to remove the very source of the problem.
NOSTRADAMUS: Francis will know, no matter how you hide your treachery. He will never forgive you.
QUEEN CATHERINE: He can hate me for the rest of his life. God willing, it's a long life.
NOSTRADAMUS: If Francis won't listen, tell her. Tell Mary the truth. Tell her everything.
QUEEN CATHERINE: What, so she can tell others? The court, the king? So we can burn for your dark magic, as heretics? And for what, Nostradamus?
NOSTRADAMUS: The chance of changing her own fate -- Of saving the man she loves.
QUEEN CATHERINE: And if I can't convince her?
NOSTRADAMUS: Then there is no saving her, is there? From the content of the bottle in your bag.
(He opens the bag up, revealing a bottle of poison, which she began crafting when she spoke with Kenna earlier, the same poison used to k*ll her bird)
NOSTRADAMUS: But if you k*ll Mary, we will burn anyway. In the fires of Hell for all eternity.
(Nostradamus has his hands on the bottle as well, but Catherine jerks it away and storms out)
LATER:
(The Queen took Nostradamus up on his suggestion, that she speak with Mary before trying to k*ll her. The Queen has called a meeting with Mary)
MARY: What do you want?
QUEEN CATHERINE: You and I have been through a great deal together. I've come to respect you. Do you think I'm a stupid woman? Easily fooled?
MARY: No.
QUEEN CATHERINE: And what about Nostradamus? I know that he's told you about your future. Do you believe him?
MARY: I believe his words have weight... that he has certain insights. What does any of this matter?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Nostradamus believes that some day you will be the cause of Francie's death. That your marriage seals this fate. He's seen the future. If you wed my son, it is very dark.
MARY: This is madness. Everything you've done to drive me away has been based on.. on some glimpse of.. of a future? A future, that no one can know.
QUEEN CATHERINE: No one except him. What Nostradamus sees comes to pass, I can assure you, over the years: brutal storms, newborns dying. Love and w*r, treachery...
MARY: This is mere superstition.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Henry would call it worse. If you tell the king what I've done, and why I've done it, he'd have grounds for my beheading. He'd have Nostradamus k*lled without a second thought. I give you a very powerful w*apon against me, because I trust you won't use it. Instead, you'll do what needs to be done.
MARY: And what is that?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Walk away from this marriage, from Francis.
MARY: A man I love, an alliance that my country needs?!
QUEEN CATHERINE: He will die if you marry him. I know that I'm asking you to sacrifice, but if you believe, at all...
MARY: I don't. I don't believe any of it!
QUEEN CATHERINE: Be very sure of that. Think about anything Nostradamus has ever told you, anything he's ever predicted -- Has it come to pass?
(Mary says nothing, but she doesn't deny it)
MARY: Have you told Francis about this?
QUEEN CATHERINE: He won't believe me.
MARY: He deserves, at the very least, to know what you believe.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh. Is that really why you would share the prophecy with him? Or is it so he could talk you out of your fears? Because he will. Is it so he can choose his own fate? Because you know he'd risk his life for you. He loves you, and you love him, but that love must make you strong, not weak.
(The Queen walks from the windowsill and puts her hands on Mary's shoulders and shakes them)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Please don't let it k*ll him, I beg of you.
(Mary goes to speak with Nostradamus about the Queen's warnings)
MARY: What did you see? Of Francis?
NOSTRADAMUS: What would make you believe? And you must believe a little, or you'd have run straight to Francis, or to the king.
MARY: You told me once that the lion would fight the dragon in a field of poppies. There was truth in that.
NOSTRADAMUS: Yes, I did, but that's not your real question. Ask it.
(Mary clearly wants to ask, but she remains quiet.)
NOSTRADAMUS: Can the future I see for you and Francis be changed? Yes, it can.
MARY: By any other means than letting him go?
NOSTRADAMUS: No. All images of Francie's death are tied to your union. You will be blamed for the death of the queen's first-born. You will blame yourself, most of all. I see Francis, barely older than he is now, cold to your touch. You are wed, but childless. Alone at this court -- without a friend to comfort you.
MARY: Stop. You're cruel.
NOSTRADAMUS: Do you think I want to see these things? Do you think I want to tell a mother her son will die? So much sacrifice, so much slaughter.
(Steps can be heard approaching them, as Nostradamus looks down, avoiding eye contact with Mary)
NOSTRADAMUS: One among you, a girl, d*ad in a day's time... Do you think..
(Kenna is the one who was heard coming into the room. She interrupts them)
KENNA: What do you mean one among us?
MARY: Kenna. Don't listen. This is meant to scare me, not you.
KENNA: You said one among us. A girl.
NOSTRADAMUS: Yes. A girl. I see your ladies, circled around. I don't know who, but one among you will die before the next frost melts.
MARY: You said that some fates could be changed. NOSTRADAMUS: Not this one.
(Kenna and Mary storm out and head back up to their chambers)
GREER: None of us will die. It's nonsense. Nostradamus said I'd fall in love with a man with a white mark on his face. That never happened.
LOLA: Have you fallen in love at all? You disappear for hours. Where do you go?
AYLEE: He said I'd never go home again. It haunts me still.
(Kenna unsucessfully tries to comfort Aylee)
GREER: That was his intention. Nostradamus likes to scare people. He's the queen's watchdog.
LOLA: Well, we can't trust her. Maybe this is her last attempt to keep you from Francis.
MARY: Or she was trying to keep me from Francis to save his life. I don't know if there's any truth to this prophecy, but the queen and Nostradamus seem to believe what he's saying.
AYLEE: What do you believe? You said you couldn't sleep for days after you saw Tomas' banner unfurl. And it was a dragon, as Nostradamus predicted...
MARY: The lion and the dragon will fight on a field of poppies.
AYLEE: The lion being the English that Tomas' soldiers sailed off to confront.
GREER: Sailors. On the sea. So where was his field of poppies?
MARY: You're right. But Tomas fought his real battle, the one he fought himself, in the forest.
AYLEE: There were poppies everywhere at that time, all through the woods.
MARY: Where Tomas was slain. By Francis. And Bash.
(Still not convinced, Mary goes to the s*ab to speak with Bash, who is grooming a horse)
BASH: You know how Tomas died. And, yes, there were poppies there. In full bloom.
MARY: That's an odd thing to remember.
BASH: The mind focuses on small things when faced with the larger horror of taking a life.
MARY: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. To tell the truth, I.. I'm probably just looking for connections that aren't there.
BASH: To what end? Did Nostradamus tell you something you hope is true?
MARY: No.
BASH: I've known him many years. He's right more than he's wrong. And when he's wrong, I often wonder if we misinterpreted what he said, and he's too cautious to argue otherwise. Tomas' symbol was, in fact, the dragon. Self-important but self-chosen.
MARY: And the lion was the English, of course.
BASH: As I said, Tomas chose his own symbol. That's what we bastard-born do, as technically we belong to no one.
(Bash stops grooming the horse and goes to show Mary his sword)
BASH: Allowing me to choose the lion for myself.
(On his sword, on the blade, there is a gold lion etched into it)
MARY: Is this the sword you fought Tomas with?
BASH: A fight to the death... In a field of poppies.
IN DIANE'S CHAMBERS:
(She and Henry are making love passionately. As they finish, they roll around in the sheets for a bit)
KING HENRY: Well done.
(He puts on his robe and gets up to leave. Meanwhile, outside of the room, the Queen is gathered around with a group of women, looking at various plates of food. The Queen sees Henry leave Diane's room and she goes to speak with her. She busts through the doors without knocking, scaring Diane)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Dear Diane. Henry will be back shortly with your glass of port, your apples and salted biscuits. It's such a lovely routine, the way he insists on taking care of you himself.
DIANE: What is it you want?
QUEEN CATHERINE: I didn't think I wanted anything from you.. I didn't think it was possible. As you have become such a certainty. And here's another: Henry strays from you to a young girl, and then gets bored, and returns to you. I don't know how you do it.
DIANE: Because I love him for who he is, not what he can give me.
QUEEN CATHERINE: No, I meant I don't know how you can put up with it. I put up with you, the public humiliation, because at least, in private, I don't have him grinding on top of me. Perhaps I'm saving us both some discomfort.
(Catherine picks up Diane's clothing and tosses it to her)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Get dressed and go. I know about the legitimization.
(Diane goes to explain herself, but the Queen stops her)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Don't bother trying to deny it. I have ties with the Vatican who can confirm it, but (laughing) do you know how I learned? Kenna. She was mistaken for you.. In your younger years. She was very badly beaten and she looked terrible. You won't look so good yourself if word of this leaks out.
DIANE: You love your son, too. You would do anything for him.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Yes. I would. But this, I'm doing for myself. Because I'm anxious of late... You could say that my son's wedding has me unnerved. DIANE: Because you can't control his future wife: a Queen.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I've given her some counsel. I am eager to see if she takes it.
(Catherine is pacing around the room, not having realized she is speaking to Diane about Mary and Francis)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Look at us. We're talking like old friends.
DIANE: We've known each other for a long time.
QUEEN CATHERINE: This acquaintance is about to be terminated.
(Catherine tosses another item of clothing at Diane)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Disappear. Make up any excuse, but do not come back. If you do, I'll tell Henry what you've done.
DIANE: He'd understand. He adores Bash.
QUEEN CATHERINE: He might have understood if your timing had been better. Henry's fondness for anyone is eclipsed by his love of power. He wants England, and he's getting it when Francis marries Mary. Ha.. Well you could say, suddenly, Francis may be his favorite son. And you may be ex*cuted for treason. DIANE: Bash never wanted this. If Sebastian died because of your words, Henry would never forgive you. He would find a way to k*ll you.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Which is why I'm letting you leave his bed, our castle, with your life. But, there is something I want to share with you first. Something you can share with Kenna.
(The Queen picks up a bottle of poison and holds it up for Diane to see)
DIANE: You want me to poison her. Why?
QUEEN CATHERINE: There are two things I can't abide, betrayal and stupidity, and Kenna's guilty of both. One can be tempered, the other can never be remedied. Oh, she wants.. what she wants, and she will go and get it at any cost. Her desire for the king may yet cost you your life. And there's one other person who stands in her way. Who is that? Oh.. Wait, I know. His wife. Me. And when she crosses me, and she will, she will be d*ad anyway. All I'm asking is that you take this one thing off of my plate. Why must I always be the one with blood on my hands?
(Catherine opens up the bottle's lid and smells of it)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Mmm. Oh, it's sage. It's very nice. These are my terms.
(Catherine sits the bottle down on a table and leaves, Diane, unsure of what to do, puts her hands over her face)
IN KENNA'S CHAMBERS:
(The next day, Kenna lies asleep in her bed. A servant delivers her a cup of tea, while the girls come wake her up)
LOLA: Good morning.
KENNA: Morning. Hello.
(The cup is on a neighboring table)
KENNA: Aylee, would you pass me that (referring to the cup), please?
(Aylee reaches for the cup and smells it before handing it to Kenna)
AYLEE: Mmm. It smells nice. What is it?
KENNA: It's a brew of lemon and honey.
AYLEE: And a herb.
KENNA: It smells floral to me. It's supposed to soothe and heal. You can have it if you'd like. It's quite good.
AYLEE: Uh, would you hold this?
(Aylee hands the cup to Greer and opens up a bag and pulls out various articles of jewerly)
AYLEE: My family sent me these. As gifts to be worn on the day Mary would be wed.
LOLA: Oh! You're so modest. Sometimes I forget your family owns half of Scotland.
AYLEE: Only the lower half.
(Aylee passes some of the jewerly out)
AYLEE: They're yours to keep.
GREER: Aylee, thank you! Do you think the wedding will still happen though?
LOLA: I know Mary talked to Bash. Nostradamus' prediction about Tomas' death was true.
GREER: I think that's open to interpretation. My head is pounding with the stress.
LOLA: Of whether there'll be a wedding or what you should wear?
GREER: The only magic I believe in is love. She should marry him.
(Greer holds up her the cup and proposes a toast)
GREER: To the power of love.
IN FRANCIS' CHAMBERS:
(Mary lies in Francis' bed fully clothed. She shares her worries with Francis, who tries to reassure her)
MARY: I want you to know whatever happens, that I love you.
FRANCIS: What's going to happen? We're getting married tonight. I know you're scared. Talk to me. If it's about England...
MARY: It's not politics... It's us. We already have so much. To ask for more... Do you think we're testing fate?
(Elsewhere in the castle, the frost is seen melting down the window. A girl is grasping the bars on the castle-staircase, holding on tightly as she chokes. Clarissa trails behind her in the shadows)
FRANCIS: Testing fate how?
MARY: By believing we can have everything we ever wanted. Perhaps that privilege is reserved for gods, not queens and kings. Perhaps there is a terrible price to pay.
(The girl begins to climb down the staircase slowly)
FRANCIS: We've devoted our lives to our nations. We're still taking an enormous risk for our countries, whether we lay a claim to England, or defy my father and the Vatican, for what we think is right for our people.
MARY: I like that word, "we." And "our."
(Clarissa pushes the girl from the balcony, sending her, and the cup she holds, crashing onto the floor)
FRANCIS: You've been alone in your struggles your entire life. That's over now. I would die for you.
(Mary's face turns white, but as Francis goes to kiss her, they hear a scream. They rush out of the chamber and see a group of people gathered at the base of the stairwell)
SERVANT: Guards! Your Majesty, come this way.
LOLA: They found her like this. They came to us, looking for you.
MARY: Aylee.
(It is Aylee who was pushed down the stairwell. A pool of blood lays under her head.)
AYLEE: He said I'd never go home again.
MARY: Aylee, no
(Mary holds her head in her hands. Aylee struggles to speak)
AYLEE: Tooo. muchh bloood. shed for you. You, we.. we.. must go home now.
(Mary lays her head down gently and Ay;ee closes her eyes and is d*ad. The girls start crying and Kenna watches as a cat drinks from the shattered remnants of the cup Aylee drank from earlier)
FLASHBACK TO EARLIER:
AYLEE: Yes. To the power of love. And friendship.
(Aylee takes the cup meant for Kenna and takes a drink of it)
BACK IN THE PRESENT:
(Mary stands up and wipes her blood covered hands on her dress. She sees Nostradamas standing on the staircase, who has just seen the full vision of how Aylee's death occurred)
MARY (seeing the frost drip from the windowsill and recalling his earlier warning, "One among you will die"): You are sent from Hell. You are the Devil!
(Francis tries to comfort her as she cries, but she pushes him away)
MARY: Oh, no. Let me go. Please.
IN A CORRIDER:
(Diane catches up with Bash and issues him a warning)
DIANE: The queen knows of my plan to legitimize you. Catherine has sworn to keep our secret, in trade, but she can't be trusted.
BASH: In trade for what?
DIANE: Nothing I can't live with.
(Diane recalls the Queen leaving the poison at her bedside, but instead of doing as Catherine asked, she threw it against the wall, shattering it into a thousand pieces)
DIANE: She can't control me or you if she can't catch us. I will find Henry again, outside the castle walls. Even if she tells him what I've done, I will make him understand. When he travels, I will come to him. I will win him over. I always do. Mary will be wed to Francis, England will be in his grip and none of this will matter. We will be back in his good graces, protected...
BASH: Forgive me if I don't choose to run away with my mother and stay in the shadows while you seduce my father into giving a damn about us.
DIANE: Then go on your own. Just swear you will leave today. You are my son.
BASH: Go. Save yourself.
ELSEWHERE IN THE CASTLE:
(Aylee's corpse lays out in the open on a table. Nostradamas stands over her body, speaking to someone offcamera)
NOSTRADAMUS: She was poisoned. Am I supposed to suspect the queen? When I know the effects of this poison.The blackening...
(He picks up her hand and looks at her darkened nails)
NOSTRADAMUS: ...the smell of violets. This is new poison. Mine, not Catherine's. Have you been watching me? Do you know where I keep the key? One never knows when you're close, do they? Why did you k*ll her?
CLARISSA: Mary had to believe your prophecy. Or she would have wed Francis. And the queen would have k*lled her.
NOSTRADAMUS: You see Mary as a victim. You think you have a bond because you see yourself as fate's victim, too. But she is a beautiful queen, and you...
(Nostradamas grabs Clarissa and drags her over to Aylee's body as she sceams)
NOSTRADAMUS: You are a monster! She is a victim!
(He pulls her hood off and makes her look at Aylee)
NOSTRADAMUS: This girl is your victim! Look. Look at what you've done to a child of God! You, who are nothing! You brought this on yourself.
(Nostradamas drags her away)
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
GREER: What about your duty to Scotland? What about the alliance?
MARY: I'll find a new one. This one has cost us too much already.
GREER: You have to tell Francis why.
MARY: I can't. The queen is right. He'll just talk me out of it.
GREER: But maybe there's some explanation
MARY: For Nostradamus' gift? I believe in it. For Aylee's death? Maybe. Whatever it is, she's still d*ad. I can't risk it. I can't risk losing anyone else I love.
(Mary is packing up her belongings to take with her)
MARY: Come with me.
LOLA: We can't.
(All of the girls look at her, waiting for an explanation)
LOLA: She stands a better chance of getting away on her own.
LOLA: And you're right. If Francis knows, he will stop you.
MARY: I'll send for you when I can. We'll go home. To Scotland.
IN THE THRONE ROOM:
MARY: As Queen of Scotland, I have made a decision. I lay no claim to the English throne. There are too many lives at stake, and I have a duty to those who would die for me, who believe that I would die for them, regardless of my personal happiness. I know your terms. I know this will cost me the man I love.
FRANCIS: Mary, no...
KING HENRY: You're risking everything. Everything you've spent your life waiting for.
MARY: I know.
KING HENRY: You're walking away from England, from more power than you could ever imagine.
MARY: I'm walking away from France.
KING HENRY: Mary, You're frightened. Now is the time for courage!
(Mary goes to leave and Francis runs after her)
FRANCIS: I don't understand.
MARY: Please don't. I've made up my mind.
FRANCIS: Without telling me?
MARY: I told you I was afraid. I told you I wasn't sure if this was the right choice for my country.
FRANCIS: What does that have to do with marrying me? I told you, I have no terms. I only want you.
MARY: I can't trust that.
FRANCIS: I don't believe you.
MARY: Your loyalty is to France. You have always told me so.
FRANCIS: Have you not heard a word that I've said? I love you.
MARY: Love is irrelevant to people like us, a privilege we do not share. You told me that. I remember it all. Every word, every moment, for the rest of my life... I love you. But I won't let other people die for me.
FRANCIS: That is your fate. As a ruler.
MARY: Not if I can help it.
FRANCIS: You're not thinking clearly. You're upset, about Aylee. You can't make decisions now, but I can, and I'm never going to let you go.
MARY: All I ever wanted was you.
FRANCIS: Then we will work this out. Wait for me while I talk to my father before he goes screaming to the Vatican and this.. this gets out of hand. Wait for me.
MARY: I'll wait for you.
(Francis rushes off to speak with his father)
IN THE s*ab:
(Mary goes to get a horse to leave on, but a farmhand stops her before she can)
s*ab HAND: Your Grace. May I be of service?
MARY: I was going riding. I'm fine.
s*ab HAND: I'll alert the guards.
MARY: Please, uh, don't.
s*ab HAND: But it's not safe for you alone. If the king knew I let you go unattended...
BASH: You would be punished. We're fine here. I'll be glad to accompany the queen. I have horses ready for us.
s*ab HAND: Horses ready? But.. you just offered...
(Bash doesn't back down, so he relents)
s*ab HAND: Of course.
BASH: Where are you going? What's wrong?
MARY: I'm leaving. I'm going away, and if you love your brother, you will not stand in my way.
BASH: Away, where?
MARY: Far.
BASH: That's my destination as well.
(Bash and Mary get on their horses and ride off)
FRANCIS: Mary! Stop! Mary, please! Wait!
(Mary ignores him and rides on. Francis falls to his knees and watches them leave)
FRANCIS: Mary! Mary!
END | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "01x08 - Fated"} | foreverdreaming |
(After leaving the castle, Mary and Bash are being chased by the King's guards through the woods on horseback. Bash leads them to a clearing in the woods)
BASH: This way, Mary, quick.
(That clearing leads off the side of a cliff facing a large body of water)
BASH: We're trapped. There's no way around.
MARY: We have to go back. The king's guards...
BASH: Will intercept us. We'll never outrun them in the woods anyway.
MARY: We'll be captured and dragged back to French court. The king wants England; he won't give up. If we're found...
(The king's men are catching up to them quickly. The hooves of the horses sound like they have arrived)
BASH: Get down, quickly. I'm going to get you back to Scotland.
MARY: How? GUARD' (alerting' 'the other men 'to their location): This way.
(Bash starts taking off his heavy armor and sword)
MARY: Bash, what are you doing?
BASH: Just trust me. Can you swim? This is the only way out.
MARY: Are you mad? We'll never survive it.
BASH: You can do this.
GUARD: Stop! In the name of the king! Seize them!
(Mary and Bash told hands and jump off the cliff, into the water)
BACK AT THE CASTLE:
GUARD: We've checked every outbound ship from Dunkirk to Bayeux, Your Majesty. The Scottish Queen and your son must still be in France, but...
KING HENRY: They didn't just disappear. Bash has many talents, but magic isn't one of them. Find them! Go.
QUEEN CATHERINE: They've been gone for more than a week. You'll never find them. Francis is back from his own search. I tell him it's pointless, they're long gone, but he persists.
KING HENRY: What did you expect? Mary's his fiancée. They were hours from being wed.
QUEEN CATHERINE: ... Until she rode off with his brother. I'd call that engagement off.
KING HENRY: What I'd like to know is why.
QUEEN CATHERINE: She was probably involved with him for months.
KING HENRY: What is it about her marriage to our son that strikes such fear in your black heart? The truth, Catherine, for once.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Mary is dangerous because she's in danger. Because the English hate her, and they always will, especially if she lays claim to their throne, as you insist. I believe she brings destruction, which will reach our lands and our hearts.
KING HENRY: This isn't your decision, and if I find out her departure is your doing in any way, I'll have grounds to execute you.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I grow weary of your thr*at.
KING HENRY: I grew weary of you a decade ago. All I need is cause to be rid of you. Perhaps this time, you've given it to me.
IN FRANCIS' CHAMBERS:
QUEEN CATHERINE: You can't do this. Take off for days at a time on your own?
FRANCIS: I had guards with me, guards that I can trust -- Guards that don't answer to you. We're only back because there was a sighting of a girl alleged to be Mary in a village nearby. A girl who appeared to be barely ten.
QUEEN
CATHERINE: Well, few people in France have set eyes on Mary. She has money. She can buy passage, as well as silence. She has Bash to navigate for them. You won't find them, and why would you want to?
FRANCIS: Because I want to know why she left.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Well, didn't you ask her?
FRANCIS: She said that she couldn't trust me to put her interests before France.
QUEEN CATHERINE: And she's right. And I know, because you'll be an extraordinary king.
FRANCIS: She made an excuse. It's not why she left, I know it.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Then she's a liar. Why would you want her?
FRANCIS: Because I love her, despite everything that she's done. And because I sense your hand in this.
AT AN INN:
(Mary and Bash have settled in for the night to rest up and dry their clothing)
MARY: I don't think the innkeeper believed our story.
BASH: That we were att*cked by bandits?
MARY: Honest people don't ride through the woods.
BASH: Honest, foolish people do.
MARY: Do you think that you're foolish for helping me?
BASH: I only meant that the woods are dangerous. Not as dangerous as court, as it turns out.
(Both of them huddle beside the lit fireplace, soaking up some of its warmth)
MARY: Do you really think that Queen Catherine knew about your mother's plot to have you legitimized?
BASH: Yes. She used the information to blackmail my mother into leaving court. My mother never should have done this behind my father's back.
MARY: And behind yours. You never asked to rule France. This was never what you wanted.
BASH: Try convincing anyone of that.
MARY: They're going to think the worst of us, you know.
BASH: I'm sure Francis already does.
(Mary pulls out a blanket and shakes it loose)
BASH: I'll find some horses tomorrow. We'll get a boat from Calais and put this all behind us. Now, get undressed.
(Bash pulls off his boots and sits them on the ground)
MARY: What?
BASH: You'll want dry clothes. We have a long day tomorrow.
MARY: All right then. Turn around.
BASH: For the entire night?
(Bash finds this comical, but he does it anyway)
BASH: There's not a thing left in your bag that isn't soaked. Let it dry.
(Mary relunctantly starts untying her clothing, while Bash peeks from behind.
OFFSCREEN VOICE (knocking at the door): Innkeeper. Brought you some fresh linen.
BASH: Hide. Quickly. Our innkeeper lacked grace, but he wasn't wearing heavy boots.
(Mary scurries under the table right before the person knocking at the door barges in)
GUARD 1: Well, if it isn't the bastard son of France. Those people you paid off to keep their silence, we paid them more. Where's the Queen?
BASH: I dropped her off in Calais. She's halfway across the Channel in a four-masted galleon.
GUARD 2: Without her clothes? Did they tie her to the bow like a figurehead?
(Several more men barge into the room. They s*ab a Kn*fe into the table and subdue bash, slamming his head against the table)
GUARD 1: The king wants you back alive, but he said nothing of your fingers. Last chance.
(Bash closes his eyes and says nothing)
MARY (emerging from her hiding spot): Stop! I'm right here. Unhand him. This man is under my protection.
GUARD 2: Apologies, Your Grace, but this man is a French subject, not Scottish, - and he's a criminal.
MARY: And what crime has he committed beyond ensuring my safety?
GUARD 2: Weren't you engaged to his brother? I suppose that's why I heard the word "treason" bandied about. All I know is the king wants his son back at court.
(The men start to drag him off)
MARY: I can help.
BASH: No.
MARY: I'll explain why you came with me. I'll make Henry understand.
BASH: And Francis? He won't let you leave twice.
MARY: I jumped off a cliff with you and I survived. This time, let me take the lead.
(Mary and Bash are both back at court. Bash is in cuffs)
GUARD: The king wants him taken to the dungeon.
BASH: I'll be fine. Be strong. You have to.
FRANCIS (yelling from across the room): Mary!
(He slowly comes up to her, unsure of what to say)
FRANCIS: Is my brother hurt?
MARY: Not yet. They're locking him up.
FRANCIS: And you... are you all right? I suppose you wondered if you'd ever see me again.
MARY: Yes.
FRANCIS: I knew I'd see you. If I hadn't found you, if the guards didn't, I would have come to Scotland.
(He steps closer to her, but she backs away)
MARY: Francis, please, don't. Nothing has changed.
FRANCIS: Everything's changed. We woke up at sunrise in each other's arms and I promised to stand by you forever, against anyone, even my father. And by sundown, you'd run off with my brother...
MARY: This isn't Bash's fault.
FRANCIS: No, you say it's about France bullying you into claiming the throne of England, or because my loyalties might lie to my nation and not to you. But I swore myself to you, and I know you believed me. Tell me what happened.
MARY: My friend died. My heart broke.
FRANCIS: Why did you leave? Explain to me how Aylee's death made you decide you couldn't marry me. Give me an honest answer. I deserve that. I was prepared to give everything to you.
MARY: Including your life... I know that, and I'm sorry, but I can't marry you.
GUARD: The king requests your presence in the throne room.
(Francis and Mary both head that way, but Francis is stopped)
GUARD: Begging your pardon, Your Grace, he just wants Queen Mary.
IN THE THRONE ROOM:
(King Henry and Queen Catherine sit on their thrones, with a room full of spectators)
QUEEN CATHERINE: The guards say you chose to return.
MARY: I am here on Sebastian's behalf. And to make peace between our nations, as it seems there is some ill will in the wake of my decision not to marry your son, Francis. I am hoping you can help me with this.
KING HENRY: I'll help you make peace. Marry Francis, as we'd agreed. Lay claim to England. The story for your abrupt departure is this: you were a bride overcome by nerves.
MARY: No.
KING HENRY: No? You are here at your mother's, at Scotland's, bidding. Your wedding is a treaty of nations.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Women don't often say no, to Henry. When they do he thinks it's a game. It usually is. But Mary isn't your usual girl. She is Scotland. She is its queen.
KING HENRY: All right then. Let's negotiate. As leaders. Shall we start with your desire to protect Bash? You're fond of him, aren't you?
MARY: Aren't you? He's your son. He was protecting me. Bash did nothing wrong.
KING HENRY: And you, you shared a bed with him. There are witnesses. MARY: They're lying. But go ahead, ruin me. I could give a damn about my reputation in France.
KING HENRY: In Scotland?
MARY: They will believe their Queen.
KING HENRY: A queen with blood on her hands who let her lover die? Sebastian ran off with the future king's fiancée. Destroying an alliance between our countries.
MARY: Don't do this.
KING HENRY: You want to be treated like a ruler? Someone who can say no? Do you need lives at stake to take this seriously?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Henry, you wouldn't.
KING HENRY: You'll marry my son, Francis and accept our nation's support, as you and your new husband, lay claim to England. Or I will execute my son, my subject Bash, for the treason of costing me England. You can watch him bleed to death on your wedding altar.
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
(Her servants are gathered around attending to her dress)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Leave us. Now.
(The room clears out)
QUEEN CATHERINE: You should never have come back here.
MARY: I had no choice. Bash was accused of treason. I couldn't let him suffer on his own.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I was afraid something like this might happen.
MARY: Find a way to convince King Henry that I won't back down, before he carries through with his thr*at.
QUEEN CATHERINE: k*lling Bash?! I can't believe he would do it.
MARY: I won't take that chance.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Well, then lie. Say that you and Bash are already married.
MARY: How?
QUEEN CATHERINE: You grabbed a priest on the road. You said your vows in a cowshed. Even Henry can't override a union sanctified by God.
MARY: No, but he can k*ll Bash in anger on hearing it.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Do you have any other ideas?
MARY: I've sent word to my mother. In truth, I cannot believe that she and her advisors would support a claim on England at this time.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Henry's already been corresponding with your mother... Once he learned that the English Queen was dying.
MARY: She wants me to do it. Scotland wants me on the throne of England. They know it's a risk;
QUEEN CATHERINE: Less so, with Francis at your side.
MARY: They want me to wed the next King of France without delay. So, there is no other option. I must tell Francis of the prophecy.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You must find another way. Francis will reject the prophecy as superstition. And he will convince you to marry him. You know I am right!
MARY: I will explain to him why I believe Nostradamus's visions.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Giving him arguments he can talk you out of with reason and logic. And he will. Because the fact that Nostradamus can see the death of the man you love, is not something that you want to believe either.
MARY: But I do believe it.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You won't when he's done with you, because Francis is reasonable in all things, but he is relentless in his love for you. If you tell Francis, he will wear you down, and he is as good as d*ad.
MARY: And if I do nothing, Bash will die.
IN THE DUNGEON:
(Nostradamus sits at his workshop, creating a doll to give to Clarissa. After k*lling Aylee, Nostradamus locked her up in his dungeon to keep her from doing something foolish)
NOSTRADAMUS: You look pathetic but I feel your hatred. You don't even have the decency to feign remorse for k*lling that girl.
CLARISSA: I did it to save Mary.
NOSTRADAMUS: You k*lled Aylee to fulfill my vision.
CLARISSA: The Queen was planning to k*ll her.
NOSTRADAMUS: So, you've said. And you're right, Catherine would have. Kings and queens do that. To save another, to save themselves, when it suits them, they play God. Monsters like you should not. Did you not enjoy your freedom?! You could go about the castle as you wished. All I asked, was that you stay out of sight: That you harm no one. So that no harm would come to you. You'll stay here until I believe you've learned your lesson... Do as I say, or I'll starve you.
(Clarissa cries as he leaves. She then picks up the doll he threw on the ground and rips it apart)
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
(She sits basked in the sunlight that pours through the window, thinking deeply about what to do about Francis and the prophecy until she is interrupted)
FRANCIS: Mary.
MARY: Thank you for coming.
FRANCIS: Is this about Bash? My father just told me that he'll k*ll him if you don't marry me. And still you refuse?
MARY: Yes.
FRANCIS: I'm sorry. This is insane. How far will you go to destroy us?
MARY: But it will destroy you otherwise.
FRANCIS: What?
MARY: Please, hear me out. I want to explain myself. I want you to understand why I left you. It wasn't for lack of love, or joy, or trust in you. It was because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you.
FRANCIS: That makes no sense.
MARY: Nostradamus had a vision -- Of your death, brought about by me if we wed.
FRANCIS: You left me over a prophecy?
MARY: One that I believe. I couldn't take the risk of being wrong!
FRANCIS: This is madness.
MARY: I know, I thought so too. I didn't believe it, I didn't want to, but, I knew that Nostradamus's visions had weight, even before he predicted Aylee's death.
FRANCIS: Her fall?
MARY: Hours before it happened.
FRANCIS: When the king finds out... No, you can't tell him! He will burn Nostradamus alive, for heresy, or treason -- both charges apply, not to mention...
FRANCIS: My mother. She was behind this as well.
MARY: All her crimes against me were because she loves you. Does she deserve to burn for that? She would do anything for you. And I would, too. I will not be the cause of your death.
FRANCIS: And Bash? Shall he die in my stead?
MARY: No, of course not.
FRANCIS: Because my father is determined. You will wed the next King of France, or he'll lose any chance of England. Mary you cannot let superstition, or fear, rule your life. You must be the ruler... Taking charge of your own destiny. Marry me. Now, before my mother or Nostradamus can poison you with fear, pressure you...
MARY: You are pressuring me.
FRANCIS: Ah, because I am right. And my mother is wrong to believe in this nonsense!
MARY: She was right to believe. Aylee is d*ad. I believe!
FRANCIS: I'll talk to Nostradamus. He'll recant. I'll make my mother see things sensibly. I'll take the risk. This is my life, my risk. Once you get past the grief of Aylee's death, you'll see.
MARY: Your mother was right, you are relentless.
FRANCIS: When it comes to us, yes.
MARY: But I can't do this. I am begging you, please stop.
FRANCIS: I won't. Ever.
MARY: Then I will.
IN THE THRONE ROOM:
KING HENRY: I assume you've asked for this meeting because you've made your decision. Will you marry Francis? Or will you be forced to watch Bash's execution?
MARY: Neither.
(The room erupts in a gasp)
KING HENRY: What's this?
MARY: I have a third option. One I think you would be most interested in. I will stake my claim on England and I will marry your son. But not Francis: Bash. Legitimize him and make him the next King of France.
(The King and Queen have taken Mary off into a private room away from all of the prying eyes)
KING HENRY: Explain yourself.
MARY: You want England. I want something in return.
KING HENRY: You are talking about changing the line of succession of France.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Bash as king... this is laughable.
MARY: Bastards are being legitimized all over Europe. I believe the Vatican will favor this arrangement. KING HENRY: How could you know that?
MARY: You said yourself, they want England as badly as you do. They will do anything to keep it from falling into the hands of the Protestants.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You were against this claim before.
MARY: That was before I knew my mother's wishes. And how much pressure her advisors were putting her under. It seems I will be going off to England no matter what I think, but only with Bash at my side.
KING HENRY: So I'll make him a duke, or an earl.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Yes. MARY: Half measures won't do. I need to be married to the man who commands the king's army.
KING HENRY: There'd be civil unrest. The nobles may reject it. It makes our country appear unstable. And I'd have to convince the Pope to annul our marriage.
(Catherine is clearly unpleased with this idea)
KING HENRY: Are you not acquainted with my very determined wife?
MARY: Perhaps your wife will agree. Because at her core, she is more selfless than you think.
KING HENRY: You think she gives a damn about France controlling England when she is no longer queen?
MARY: It's up to the Queen to decide her priorities. I've given your majesties much to consider. I will take my leave.
(Mary exits, leaving the King and Queen to fight)
QUEEN CATHERINE: You're not seriously considering this? What she proposes would cost me everything... My marriage, my crown, the legacy of our children, your sons...
KING HENRY: Yes... They are all considerations.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Those bitches!
KING HENRY: Who?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Mary, her friends, that parasite Diane, the lot of them!
KING HENRY: My mistress Diane? What does she have to do with this?
QUEEN CATHERINE: You don't seriously think that Mary came up with legitimization all by herself. Bash must have told her. Diane has been working on this behind your back for months.
KING HENRY: Do you have proof of this?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Well, why don't you ask Kenna, your other mistress? She told me and as a result, I blackmailed Diane and I,, sent her off to Paris.
KING HENRY: You admit this deceit?
QUEEN CATHERINE: You would have found out anyway, from Bash, before you took off his head! I suspect that's the real reason why he fled the castle. He was afraid of your reaction.
KING HENRY: So much for the great love story of Mary and Bash. But if he left out of fear, what was her reason?
QUEEN CATHERINE: I have no idea, but she certainly made a mess of things now, hasn't she?
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
(After her talk with the King and Queen, Mary retires to her chambers to talk to her ladies about what transpired when she was gone)
LOLA: In truth, Catherine's been relatively kind to us. She was arranging our passage for next week.
GREER: Now you're back and marrying Bash.
MARY: If Henry makes him the next king. It was the only way I could save Bash and Francis, and do as I was bid by my mother, as is my duty.
KENNA: What about me? For Bash to become legitimized, Henry must marry Diane and she'll be back at court as queen.
MARY: If the plan works, yes. I know this must be painful for you. You have feelings for the king.
KENNA: Painful? You have no idea, any of you!
(All of the girls look at her, deducing that she was upset at more than just the possibility of Dianne being Queen)
KENNA: I think Diane was behind Aylee's death.
LOLA: Kenna, what are you saying?
KENNA: Aylee fell, but I think she was poisoned first.
LOLA: What makes you think such a thing?
KENNA: There was a cup shattered at the base of the stairs. A cup that was delivered to me. I saw a cat drinking the spilled contents. Not long after I found the animal d*ad in the corner.
MARY: Why didn't you tell any of us about your suspicions?
KENNA: You were already dealing with so much and then you were gone. What could I, any of us, done about it in your absence? Who would stand to gain by my death? Diane, certainly. But also Catherine. What better way to warn you of Nostradamus's visions, than by fulfilling his latest prophecy?
LOLA: That one among us would die?
KENNA: And one of us did.
MARY: There was other proof of Nostradamus's power.
KENNA: Yes but it was Aylee's death that convinced you that what he predicted for Francis would come true.
LOLA: Did Catherine know of this last prophecy? Was she aware of it?
MARY: She'd never admit to it, but I'm getting better at discerning when she's lying.
IN CATHERINE'S CHAMBERS:
(Mary goes to confront the Queen about Kenna's suspicions in regard to Aylee's death)
QUEEN CATHERINE (off-screen): And I'm not pleased with her.
(Without knocking, Mary storms into the room)
MARY: Did you poison Aylee? Yes or no?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Leave us.
(When the room clears out, Catherine lets Mary know of her displeasure)
QUEEN CATHERINE: How dare you burst in here after the stunt you've just pulled.
MARY: Give me your answer.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Of course not. I had nothing but fondness for Aylee.
MARY: And Kenna? A cup was delivered to her bedside that ended up in Aylee's hands.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Your friend Kenna, she came to me, she'd found out about Diane's plot to have Bash legitimized.
MARY: Bash told me, but I wasn't aware that Kenna knew.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I saw an opportunity to get rid of them both. I told Diane about Kenna's scheming and I... I gifted her some poison. I suppose I was testing her, to see if she'd actually try to poison Kenna before leaving the castle. And clearly, she tried.
MARY: So, it was your poison. Delivered at Diane's hands and not yours?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Delivered to the wrong girl. You must believe me. Why would I tell you this otherwise? What reason would I have to k*ll Aylee?
MARY: To make me believe Nostradamus's prophecies. He had a vision of one of my ladies dying.
QUEEN CATHERINE: He never told me. He takes no comfort in the horrors he sees. And he knows that I would probably have k*lled one of your ladies trying to convince you. I'm telling you the truth.. On my immortal soul. There's still time to fix this. Leave for Scotland. I have connections, I can ensure you find another suitable match.
MARY: Not in time.
QUEEN CATHERINE: No, this can't be happening. You end up with a King, and three kingdoms under your rule, and I lose everything?!
MARY: I am losing the man that I love. I am saving your son! I have made my sacrifice! And now this is your turn. I must talk to Francis and tell him of my proposal to wed Bash before somebody else does.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I might have already mentioned it.
(Mary storms off to find Francis. First, she visits his room)
MARY: Francis?
(Francis is not in his chambers, so she looks for him elsewhere. Meanwhile, Francis goes to visit Bash in the dungeon)
BASH: Francis.
(Francis immediately punches Bash in the face and starts beating him throughout the room)
FRANCIS: Get up.
BASH: I can explain.
FRANCIS: Why did you steal Mary?!
BASH: I was trying to help her.
FRANCIS: You took advantage of her fears, and this family's trust.
(Francis isn't listening to Bash at all. He continues to b*at him, despite Bash not fighting back)
MARY (rushing into the room to help Bash and stop Francis from k*lling him) Francis, stop! FRANCIS (to Bash): How long have you hated me?
BASH: I was trying to save your life.
MARY: Stop! Stop! Francis, stop! Stop!
(Mary puts herself in between Francis and Bash)
MARY: This isn't Bash's fault! He only knew about the prophecy. The only thing we've done is try to save you. I'm the one who proposed marrying him. I proposed that he be the new heir to the throne.
BASH: You proposed what?
MARY: I'm sorry.
FRANCIS: You are setting the course of nations. Asking the Pope to say that this is God's will! Taking my family's inheritance, from me, my mother, my brothers. And I'm supposed to accept this. You are throwing away everything we had for superstition! Nostradamus knows nothing. You know that I love you. If you think that, because in your minds, you're saving me, that I will forgive you for this, you're wrong.
(Francis angrily leaves, leaving Mary in tears)
MARY: Are you all right?
BASH: When were you planning to tell me? Before or after my coronation?!
MARY: Please don't be angry.
BASH: I never wanted my brother's crown. No matter my mother's plans.
MARY: But will you take it, to save his life? BASH: Can I have more than a heartbeat to think about it?!
IN NOSTRADAMUS' CHAMBERS:
QUEEN CATHERINE: Why didn't you tell me about your visions of Mary's friends?
NOSTRADAMUS: If I had, you've had k*lled one of them, no? To make Mary believe?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Well, that was my point to Mary, exactly. It's tragic, about Aylee.
NOSTRADAMUS: At least her death will do some good, if it saves Francis.
QUEEN CATHERINE: But now Mary is so convinced of your power, that she's ready to upset the line of succession. In Mary's mind, this is the only way. Well, of course there are others.
(Nostradamus picks up on the insinuation)
NOSTRADAMUS: Options to keep you in power.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Without power, I am vulnerable. And so are my children. When Henry dies, and Bash becomes king, my sons become targets. They'll thr*at Sebastian's rule, as some will say they belong on the throne, one by one, in rightful succession. No, Mary's plan will not do. She and Bash must be stopped in a manner that leaves no trace.
NOSTRADAMUS: Is there no other way?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Can you suggest one?
(Nostradamus says nothing. So Catherine continues giving direction)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Hire a scribe, leave a note in Mary's hand, a good-bye to her friends, she would do that if she and Bash were making an escape. Find a jailer who'll say that she bribed him. Pay him well, and then k*ll him, too. Take all the bodies to the forest and bury them deep so that when the rains come and the animals dig, their skulls are not found.
(The Queen summons a guard, after giving her instructions, he leaves)
ELSEWHERE IN THE CASTLE:
(Henry has arranged a secret meeting between himself, Mary and Bash; thus explaining her absence. Bash was waiting when she arrived)
KING HENRY: Ah, Mary, you're safe. No one followed you, or knows you're here, not even your ladies?
MARY: No, no one knows.
KING HENRY: You've taught me something, Mary. God has a sense of humor. When I heard the Vatican's support of your claim to the English throne, I thought, "A chance this perfect must be crafted by God." But now, I see God's mocking me. I mean, how else do you explain that on the verge of uniting England, Scotland and France, I'd be here, held hostage by the whims of a teenaged girl?
MARY: It's not a whim. I am deadly serious.
KING HENRY: You were never groomed to be king. Your recent actions have shown me that you are not prepared for power.
BASH: And yet, here we are.
KING HENRY: I'll agree to your terms. Let God mock the English for a change. MARY: Thank you.
KING HENRY: You're serious?
KING HENRY: Your ascent to the throne will not be official until the Pope agrees, which will not be easy. I'll go to Rome, and do my best. I've been a better father to you than Francis, but he's my son, too, and your brother. You have betrayed him. I don't know why, I don't know if it's love, or something else, but this will destroy him, unless he's a stronger man than either of us knew. In which case, God have mercy on you.
(The King holds up a glass and toasts to the two of them)
KING HENRY: To the future King and Queen of France, Scotland and England.
(They all drink)
MARY: There is one other thing. What will we do about Catherine? She won't give up her crown easily.
KING HENRY: I can handle my wife.
LATER:
(Catherine enters her room to find the guard hanging from a noose above her bed. Henry enters shortly after her)
KING HENRY: You're next.
(Henry grabs her by the arm and pulls her into the throne room, where Mary, Bash and Francis all stand)
QUEEN CATHERINE: No!
KING HENRY: It's best if you remain standing.
(Henry starts walking over to his throne)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Are you going to execute me yourself?
KING HENRY: I'm trying very hard not to k*ll you for the things you've done.
(He sits, while Catherine scoffs)
QUEEN CATHERINE: You've had me followed?
KING HENRY: I know how you behave when you're cornered.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I will never agree to an annulment, no matter what fabrications you concoct to get you England.
KING HENRY: I want all agreed to this plan. When I die, Bash will be king. If he is survived by our children, the line of succession will revert to my sons by you.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Ah, well, it's better than I hoped.
KING HENRY: Especially as you're instantly planning Bash's demise. He would have been next, after you sent an assassin to Mary's chambers this very evening. Now you think you'll simply pick Bash off, once my guard is down, or before they pop out an heir, and the throne will revert to Francis.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Aren't you ahead of me? It's as if we had one mind...
MARY: Catherine, don't. He's thought of every angle.
KING HENRY: Mary's right. Because I know your next plan is to k*ll me. To remove the largest obstacle and hasten things along. A stray arrow, a hunting accident.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I wouldn't dare.
(Francis suddenly enters to give his two cents)
FRANCIS: Yes, you would. You'd k*ll everyone in this room to get me on the throne. To protect me, in the hope that I would then protect you. But my first order of business, as King, would be to execute you if you were to harm anyone here. My brother, my father, Mary. This has to stop.
(Finished with his mother, Francis walks over to Mary)
FRANCIS: I see a future for us quite clearly. We would be happy. I would give anything to spend my life, however long, at your side.
MARY: I know you would.
FRANCIS: But you see a future without me, and that's the one you choose. MARY: You know why it's the only choice.
FRANCIS: It's your choice. You are so headstrong, so, so strong...
(Speaking to Bash)
FRANCIS: And you, my brother I envied you for so long, and look at us now. You have what's mine, and I have your freedom. Well, I, I plan to take full advantage of it.
(Francis turns and speaks to the whole room)
FRANCIS: Long may you reign.
IN MARY'S CHAMBERS:
(Mary prepares herself for bed in her chambers, but the Queen wants to have a chat)
SERVANT: Your Grace, Her Majesty the Queen.
MARY: Wait.
(Speaking to the guard)
MARY: Stay. And you, as well. Close the door
(Both the guard and the servant stay in the room)
QUEEN CATHERINE: You're arming yourself against me. Am I really that frightening?
MARY: Am I really stupid enough to find out? What do you want?
QUEEN CATHERINE: You must be very pleased with yourself.
MARY: I take no joy in what this has cost you.
QUEEN CATHERINE: My life, not just my crown. The annulment won't be enough for Henry. To quiet the issues, the questions about his judgment, it's best if I'm gone. He will find some excuse to behead me.
MARY: Then leave France, disappear, and never return.
QUEEN CATHERINE: If only you had taken this advice.
MARY: I believe that King Henry will let you live if he gets what he wants. Grant him the annulment, and then go far from here and grant yourself a happy life.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh, Mary, don't you know by now? Happiness is the one thing we queens can never have. Sleep well, my dear.
THE NEXT DAY:
(As Catherine prepares to leave the castle, a group of people have gathered to bid her farewell)
GREER: Do we really have to be here?
MARY: It's the right thing to do.
LOLA: After everything she's put you through?
(The Queen walks through two lines of subjects that have divided for her. In front of some of them, she stops and offers plesantries)
LOLA: I wonder where she's going.
GREER: The official story is that she's visiting her aunt, who is a nun.
LOLA: She'll spend the rest of her life at a convent. I don't believe it.
MARY: She'll be safe there. King Henry would never dare reach for her.
(Catherine finishes going through the crowd, before she speaks with Mary one final time)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Not much of a turnout when one loses power, is there? Oh, and hustled out the back door to boot. It's humiliating.
MARY: There is no shame in what you have done for your son.
QUEEN CATHERINE: A word of advice for the next Queen of France. Remember, no matter how many countries you rule, or palaces you own, power is always fleeting.
(Catherine kisses Mary on the cheek and continues)
QUEEN CATHERINE: It can be taken away by the stroke of a pen or the blade of an axe.
(The Queen turns around to leave. The doors are opened for her), but Henry and a group of men come in through an adjacent door)
KING HENRY: Leaving without saying good-bye to your king?
QUEEN CATHERINE: I was afraid Your Majesty was too busy preparing false documents to send to the Vatican.
KING HENRY: Too busy thinking of you. Catherine, I've realized something, and I can't let you go. In fact, I can't let you out of my sight. Your reach is long, your connection to wealth endless, and your mastery at poisons, ever evolving.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You're holding me prisoner.
KING HENRY: Guarded day and night, or at least until I'm back from Rome. Imprison her.
(The guards take her into custody, but she still has a few choice words for the King)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Whore-monger.
KING HENRY: Devil. Endearments aside, consider this a sign of my utmost respect for your intellect and abilities.
KING HENRY (to the guards): Take her away.
IN NOSTRADAMUS' CHAMBERS:
(Nostradamus brings some food to Clarissa, who is still confined to a cell)
NOSTRADAMUS: Here. Some food to keep you.
(After sitting down the food, he sees the ripped up doll, but before he can say anything else, Clarissa att*cks him and escapes)
ON A BALCONY:
(Bash stands on a balcony at the castle, overlooking the scenery. Mary interrupts him from deep thought)
MARY: You look so pensive.
BASH: It's unbelievable. England, the Pope, my own father putting me on the chopping block one minute, and the throne the next. We both did this to save Francis, and, yet, we both lost him as a result.
MARY: Well, the important thing is, he'll still be alive.
BASH: I still can't quite believe it. King. Me, King of France.
MARY: I know you have doubts, but it won't happen tomorrow.
BASH: No, no. My father would have to die first. But our wedding will happen. As soon as my father gets back from Rome, he'll want the deal locked down, France and Scotland united, before the English Queen dies. You're going to be my wife. How very unexpected.
(They both gaze out at the scenary, unsure of what else to say)
END CREDITS | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "01x09 - For King and Country"} | foreverdreaming |
IN CATHERINE'S CHAMBERS:
(Clarissa enters Catherine's empty chambers and looks about the room. She sits on the bed for a moment and then looks through a small wooden box that contains the names of each of Catherine's children, with a lock of their hair. Before Clarissa can finish, two young lovers sneak into the room)
GIRL (laughing): Here we are: The Queen's private chambers. It's all ours.
(They kiss and make their way over to the bed, where they make love with most of their clothes off. Clarissa, wishing to remain out-of-sight, slinks into the corner, hiding between a wardrobe and the wall)
IN THE s*ab:
(Bash attends to one of the horses in the s*ab, grooming it and cleaning its fur. Bash, seeing Mary out of the corner of his eye, drops what he's doing and goes to meet with Mary)
BASH: There you are. You missed our ride this morning.
MARY: I'm sorry. I overslept.
BASH: I hope you weren't up all night worrying again.
MARY: It's just the fact that we've heard no news from the Vatican.
BASH: Will your worrying make the Pope choose to legitimize me any sooner? The Vatican wil come around and when they do, you and I can finally be married. I promise.
MARY: That's not all I'm worried about. Your half brothers, Charles and Henry, I see their sad faces around the castle and I realize how hard this must be for them.
BASH: Yes. It's awful. I know.
MARY: There's a frost fair in the village this morning. I want to take them, just us three -- just something special to take their minds off their troubles
(Bash smiles lovingly at Mary)
BASH: You are so good. So truly good.
(He pulls her to him tightly and kisses her tenderly)
(Mary, remaining true to her word, takes the boys to the festival. They are accompanied by many castle guards, who lead them in a horse-drawn carriage)
PRINCE CHARLES: Will there be ice-skating?
MARY: Yes and sleigh-rides and spiced candy and puppet plays. All of the boys and girls from the village will be there!
PRINCE CHARLES: Mother and father don't like us to play with regular children. I wish mother could be there.
MARY: I know.
PRINCE CHARLES: Will we see her before she dies?
MARY: Don't worry about that now. Your mother wants you to be happy. She'll be happier knowing you had a lovely day!
(Offscreen, voices can be heard instructing people passing by to back off)
GUARD: Get back! All of you!
PASSERBY: LOOK! It's the Medici princes!
(The crowd becomes angry and starts latching on to the side of the carriage, shaking it violently)
PASSERBY: This is for Queen Catherine and her lies!
MARY (to the boys): Get down! Hide.
(Both boys crawl under their seat, put their hands over their heads and scream)
AT THE CASTLE:
(After the young couple finished up, the girl notices one of Catherine's possessions has been disturbed. She goes to inspect the situation and she hears a whisper)
CLARISSA: HEY GIRL: Who's there?
(She then begins searching the room for the voice that just called out to her)
GIRL: Show yourself! I won't take the blame if you've stolen something from the queen.
(She goes to the window to look behind the curtain. As she pulls it back, Clarissa pops out and att*cks her, putting her into a chokehold until she snaps her neck. d*ad, the girl slinks to the ground)
IN THE DUNGEON:
(Mary goes to meet with the Queen to tell her what had happened earlier that morning)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Where are my boys now?
MARY: Bash is with them.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I warned you of the unrest that would result in changing the line of succession. Once the Vatican legitimizes Bash, Henry will take off my head. Those boys will be orphans.
MARY: They'll still have their father.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Hahaha. How much attention do you think they'll get from him as he cavorts with his new bride, Diane? And as for Bash, as soon as he takes power, he will face unrelenting pressure to do away with them.
MARY: I will not allow it. I will take care of them.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You?
MARY: Bash as well. We will raise them as they are our own. Despite what you may think, I never intended to harm your family. I just wanted to save Francis.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I wish I could believe that.
MARY: and I want to help Clarissa too.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Clarissa?
MARY: Yes. She is your daughter. We both know that. And she saved my life.
QUEEN CATHERINE: How do you intend on coaxing her out of the passages?
MARY: I ordered a mask made; to cover her deformity. It's being delivered today and when the time is right, I'll arrange for her to have chambers of her own.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You seriously intend to integrating her into society after a life in the shadows; living like vermin? That girl is broken. She is more animal than human. The greatest mercy would be to have her put down.
MARY: You don't mean that. You would never want that for your own child.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I suppose I'll have to get use to other people deciding what I want for my children. They'll be out of my care very shortly when I'm d*ad.
(In the passage way, Clarissa watches as the boys play together in their chamber. She excitedly opens a silk-wrapped package Mary left her, revealing the mask. She puts it on and looks at her reflection in a jagged piece of mirror. Upon seeing her face, she smashes the glass on the ground and goes back to watching the boys play together. Then, she rips a huge section of hair out of her head, blood, skin and all and wraps it around the princes' hair Catherine kept in her box of keepsakes)
BASH: What can I do to protect my younger brothers? There must be a way to make them safe.
LORD HUGO: I marvel that you could have been brought up at court and still understand it so poorly. For a royal, there's no such thing as safety.
BASH: I realize the notion of my being king disappoints you, Lord Hugo.
LORD HUGO: It did once. But not anymore.
MARY: You've switched sides?
LORD HUGO: I'm head of the King's Privy Council for two reasons: I know how to manage men and I know how to pick the winning side. In light of recent events; the Queen's pending execution and Francis's continuing absence from court; that side is yours.
BASH: How lucky I am to have such steadfast support.
LORD HUGO: If steadfast is what you require, there's only one way to achieve it. Factions need a flag to rally behind, and every young prince with a claim to the throne is another flag. But, if those flags were taken away, perhaps permanently ...
MARY: Are you suggesting k*lling the boys?!
LORD HUGO: I would never presume to make such a suggestion. Those boys are the King's own blood. You asked about safety. This morning's att*ck was mild.
BASH: We are aware of that and share your concern.
LORD HUGO: There are plots being set on both sides, no doubt and with deadlier consequences. Sooner or later, blood will be spilled. It's just a matter of whose. Yours and Mary's, or another's.
LATER: (Mary and Bash fight over with to do with Prince Henry and Prince Charles)
BASH: Lord Hugo's right... my brothers need to be dealt with.
MARY: "Dealt with?" What are you saying?
BASH: Send them away from France.
MARY: I was sent to a nunnery at six. It didn't stop the English from making attempts on my life.
BASH: You've had far more attempts against your life here.
MARY: You weren't there this morning. Those boys need our protection and I promised Catherine I would keep them safe. We should keep them here with us.
BASH: And teach them to be constantly afraid? Always on the lookout for the next att*ck? I won't have them grow up to fear their own shadows.
MARY: At least they'll have a chance of a normal childhood.
BASH: "Normal?" At court? This is absurd. You feel guilty for taking away what they had, so you want to keep them around, never mind what their lives might be like...
MARY: And you feel guilty because they remind you of Francis, so you want to get them out of sight.
BASH: Is that really what you think?
MARY: It doesn't matter. I forbid you from sending them away.
BASH: You forbid it? How is this your decision?
MARY: I am the queen who's going to give your father the legacy of conquering England. Who do you think he's going to side with?
BASH: Very well. I'll go double the guard around the boys. Unless that means I don't love them enough.
IN A DINGY TAVERN IN PARIS:
(Lola enters a building where many people are congregating. Many are having sex out in the open, some are gambling, others sit around drinking)
FREDRICK: Lola?
LOLA: Fredrick!
(She embraces him tightly and notices a few bruises on his face)
LOLA: Are you all right? Have they mistreated you?
FREDRICK: I'm fine, As long as you brought the...
LOLA (interrupting him in a whisper): I brought the money.
FREDRICK: Thank God. Sorry you had to come all the way. You wouldn't believe the string of bad luck I've had at the tables.
LOLA: Let's just get you out of here. To whom do you owe the money?
(Before he can give her a name, a stranger appears from behind her and announces himself)
'MAURICE': Maurice Bisset.
LOLA: Please excuse the trouble my brother has caused. (handing him a satchal full of coins) Here's the sum he owes, plus interest.
MAURICE: How lucky you are to have such a lovely sister willing to go to such lengths to secure your release.
LOLA: Shall we?
(They go to leave, but another gentleman blocks their exit-way)
MAURICE: Unfortunately, this debt is more complicated.
LOLA: What do you mean?
MAURICE: In addition to lying about his means, your brother attempted to cheat at my tables, a very serious breach of house rules.
LOLA: Perhaps an additional sum would help smooth things over?
MAURICE: Such a grave crime requires more than money to repay it, don't you think?
LOLA: What are you suggesting?
MAURICE: I admire the passion you have for your brother. Perhaps you would consider sharing some of that passion with me?
BACK AT COURT:
(Nostradamus arrives to chat with Queen Catherine, who is still under guard.)
NOSTRADAMUS (to the guard): I need to see the prisoner.
GUARD: And what is this that you're bringing?
NOSTRADAMUS: A Bible. So she can make peace with her maker before her execution.
(The guard takes the book from him and flips through the pages from front to back)
NOSTRADAMUS: If you're looking for a w*apon, some say there's none greater than the Scriptures themselves.
(The guard shoves the book back into his hands and opens the door, allowing him to speak with the Queen)
QUEEN CATHERINE (upon seeing Nostradamus): Oh, good. More sanctimonious talk from my self-appointed redeemer.
NOSTRADAMUS: King Henry's actions may not have been fair, but it doesn't change the results. You must seek absolution for your sins.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You think that is gonna save me? If you really cared about my well-being, you'd have brought some poison like I asked! Then, at least, I could die with dignity, alone, at my own hand.
NOSTRADAMUS: You mustn't say such things. su1c1de is a mortal sin! You'd be condemned to the fires of Hell.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Henry intends to make a spectacle of my death, as a final insult to me, and to bring some semblance of validity to his actions. I won't grant him the satisfaction, if I have to tear my throat out with my own hands! And unless you're prepared to help me in that goal, get out and don't return!
(Without saying another word, Nostradamus sits the bible down and leaves, while Catherine notices some rope and a noose sitting nearby)
OUTSIDE THE CASTLE:
(After the events of the morning, with the Frost Fair, outside the castle, a mini-fair is being hosted; one similar to the one the Princes were unable to attend)
MARY: What's going on? Bash, what have you done?
PRINCE CHARLES: This is all for us?
BASH: Yes. Now go make friends.
(The boys run off and join the festivities)
BASH: You said they should have a normal childhood, but also be safe.
MARY: They missed out on the Frost Fair in the village, so you brought it to them? That is the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
BASH: Their entire lives are filled with danger and isolation. I just wanted them to have this day.
(Mary kisses Bash)
PRINCE CHARLES: Mary, come help us with our masks!
(She obliges and rushes over to help them)
BACK IN PARIS:
(After refusing an additional payment to allow the men from the tavern to release her brother, Lola continues to press them. Meanwhile, patrons continue playing games and gambling)
LOLA (coming up behind Maurice): I've made some arrangements. I can pay you double the debt, but it'll take a week to assemble the money.
MAURICE: I don't think so.
(Maurice walks over to a neighboring table and speaks with a gentlemen who just won a round on a game)
MAURICE: Well done. What incredible luck you must have.
(Maurice pulls out a hammer and smashes the man's hand with it. Several other men come and drag him away as he screams in agony)
MAURICE: He's a cheat, just like your brother.
LOLA: Was that really necessary?
MAURICE: He's lucky I didn't crush both his hands. That's the penalty at most establishments, but I prefer to be merciful. Your brother begged me to spare him that fate. He said that your family was wealthy, and that he'd make it worth my while. I had no idea how worthwhile until I laid my eyes on you.
LOLA: Why me? You can't make this offer to many. It's not good business.
MAURICE: You're a lady of title. I've taken money from many a noble, but none ever treated me as an equal. I'd like to know what it feels like to touch what only they can touch. Do we have a deal?
(Before Lola can speak, another man comes to offer a better deal to Maurice)
MAN: Pardon me. I couldn't help but overhear that this lady is to be played for this evening. My benefactor, the Viscount de Brilhac, would like the chance to win her for himself.
MAURICE: She's not available. She's with me.
MAN: The Viscount is prepared to wager double her debt on one cut of the cards.
MAURICE: I've already been offered that.
(Suddenly, Francis makes his presence known. He is the benefactor the man is speaking of)
FRANCIS: Four times, then.
(Lola looks somewhat unaffected. She does not hint that she knows him, or who he is)
FRANCIS: Surely the owner of the celebrated g*n House is not afraid of a simple wager? One cut of the cards.
MAURICE (relenting): One cut of the cards. Four times the debt, plus the girl if I win.
FRANCIS: And if I win; the debt is forgiven, and the girl is mine.
(They walk over to the table and play a round. Francis pulls bad cards and loses the wager)
MAURICE: Too bad, Monsieur Viscount.
FRANCIS: Double it again.
MAURICE: Eight times the debt, you mean? And the girl.
FRANCIS: And the girl. Though I don't know why you'd risk it. It's much safer to just take the money.
MAURICE: If your gallantry is as easy as your lovely inherited money, why not make it 16 times the debt?
LOLA: No.
FRANCIS: Very well. After you.
(Maurice turns over a card, revealing an ace of spades. Francis takes his turn and pulls out a King of hearts, winning the game)
MAURICE: Well-played.
FRANCIS: Luck of the draw (looking over to Lola) Shall we retire to my room, my lady?
(Francis and Lola go to leave)
MAURICE: Wait. You look familiar. Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
FRANCIS: I'm told I look like the Dauphin of France; only taller.
AT THE FROST FAIR:
KENNA (to Greer): Well, I agree with Mary. They should stay here, at the home they've always known. Look at them, having the time of their lives.
(Greer looks over to a shady man standing besides a tree)
GREER: Who's that?
KENNA: I don't know. Some servant, perhaps?
GREER: He looks ill at ease, don't you think?
(Kenna sees a little boy has fallen on the ground, thinking it to be one of the princes, she goes to help him up. Both girls start to panic)
KENNA: Charles! Oh, Charles. Come here. Are you all right?
(Kenna pulls off the mask, revealing the little boy not to be either of the princes)
KENNA: Charles?
GREER: Henry?
KENNA: CHARLES!
GREER (pulling off the mask of another little boy): Henry?
(Mary hears the commotion and susses out the situation)
MARY: What is it?
GREER: We can't find the princes.
BASH: Everyone! Masks off at once!
(All of the children remove their masks. None of which are either of the princes)
MARY: Bash!
BASH: They're gone.
ACT 3:Edit
(Bash, Mary, Kenna and Greer start scouring the fair looking for Henry and Charles)
MARY (to the ladies): Search the castle and the grounds. They can't have gone far.. and check the boys' chambers.. and find Lord Hugo!
BASH: Mary, wait.
(Bash catches up to Mary and tries to calm her nerves)
MARY: What are you doing? You're wasting precious time!
T BASH (whispering): The boys are fine.
MARY: How do you know?
BASH: Because I arranged their disappearance.
MARY: WHAT?!
BASH: They're being transported to the abbey at Troyes, as we speak. From there, they'll continue to the Spanish border. There are riders stationed at checkpoints along the way to keep us up to date on their progress. MARY: You had this plan in mind all along? That's why you wanted your brothers outside! You were planning their kidnapping!
BASH: They weren't safe here. Something had to be done.
(Before Mary can give him a piece of her mind, Lord Hugo finds them in the corrider)
LORD HUGO: Sebastian. There you are.
(Lord Hugo has two guards with him that are dragging the shady man from earlier behind them)
LORD HUGO: We found this man hiding in the woods. He had a rope and two burlap sacks. I believe he intended to capture and drown the princes.
BASH: Is this true?
SHADY MAN: You are the next great king, Sebastian. The Medicis must die. LORD HUGO: We'll question him thoroughly, my Lord. If he knows anything about the princes' disappearance, we'll get it out of him.
(Lord Hugo and the men carry him off. Hugo bows and they all leave, but not before Mary gives Bash an angry look)
MEANWHILE; IN AN UNKNOWN LOCATION
(A nameless man hops of his buggy and removes a satchal and some hay, revealing both boys are under there.)
MAN: Out you get.
(He helps one of them down)
MAN: We'll go inside where no one can see us.
(Helping the other prince down)
MAN: There. Right. Get some food in you. We've got a long night ahead of us if we're going to make it to Troyes before daylight.
(He takes the boys inside a little house, leading them both by the hand)
PRINCE CHARLES: I'm cold.
MAN: Go on then. I'll fetch a blanket.
(As the boys go inside, Clarissa hops off the buggy. The man goes back to retrieve a blanket and he pulls a Kn*fe when he hears her stirring around)
MAN: Who's there?
(IDarkness ensues. Clarissa goes over to chat with the boys, who are eating what looks to be a loaf of bread)
PRINCE CHARLES: Clarissa, what are you doing here?
CLARISSA: I was worried about you.
PRINCE CHARLES (to Prince Henry): Clarissa is my friend. We played together at the castle.
PRINCE CHARLES (to Clarissa): How did you find us? Does anyone know you're here?
CLARISSA: Your mother will know soon enough. I left her a message.
PRINCE CHARLES: Why are you wearing the driver's cloak.. and that mask?
CLARISSA: Mary had it made for me. Do you like it?
PRINCE CHARLES: I don't know. Are you going to stay with us?
CLARISSA: I'm going to take care of you. From now on, we're going to be a family. Pack up. Let's go.
IN PARIS:
LOLA: Thank you again, so much, for what you did. To make such an enormous wager, based on nothing but chance.
FRANCIS: Well, it's safer than fighting our way out.
LOLA: My brother..
FRANCIS: ...seems a little adrift.
LOLA: I've traipsed all over Europe, pulling him out of this scrape, or that, each time worse than the last... But we're all my parents have left.
FRANCIS: I can understand both sides, if you want the truth. I am familiar with feeling adrift, and with being let down by a brother I loved.
LOLA: I'm sorry. Truly, I am.
FRANCIS: I know they thought they were saving my life, or at least Mary did... Bash has his own reasons.
LOLA: I envy you.
(Francis is drinking alcohol straight from the bottle. He chokes a bit on her words)
FRANCIS: In what possible way?
LOLA: Well, you've escaped that hideous court. You're not bound by duty or politics. You don't have to lie or pretend. You can do what you want. You can set your own course.
FRANCIS: Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be, but there are things I don't miss -- like my mother's meddling, for one.
LOLA: When I left, Henry had her locked in the tower, just until the annulment came through, but that didn't stop her from stirring up trouble. She tried to get Mary and Bash...
FRANCIS: What?
LOLA: You don't want to hear it.
FRANCIS: I do. Hearing it makes it... real. It still doesn't feel that way.
LOLA: Don't be ashamed of your pain. It does you credit. You have a true heart. It will mend.
FRANCIS: I'd like that very much.
(They look like they are about to kiss, but instead, Francis changes the subject)
FRANCIS: Shall we... Shall we find something to keep us occupied until we can sleep?
LOLA: Yes, please.
(Francis shuffles a deck of cards and they play)
BACK AT THE CASTLE:
(Nostradamus rushes over to the dungeon where Queen Catherine is)
NOSTRADAMUS: What is it?
GUARD: I heard coughing, and now she won't tell us anything.
NOSTRADAMUS: Did you check on her?
GUARD: She's blocked the door with something. I heard what she said before about taking her life.
NOSTRADAMUS: Open the door at once!
(They begin pounding on the door, but receive no answer)
NOSTRADAMUS: Help me push it in! Quickly!
(They finally get into the room and Catherine's head hangs from a noose. She had attempted su1c1de)
NOSTRADAMUS: Dear God.
ACT 4:Edit
NOSTRADAMUS: Untie the rope.
(The guard does as he's asked. Nostradamus hugs Catherine's legs tightly while the rope is loosened from its post)
NOSTRADAMUS: must get her to the infirmary immediately.
GUARD: What for? Would it not be a kindness to let her pass on? The king wants her death to be a spectacle.
NOSTRADAMUS: Will you be the one to deny him that? I'll be back with her as soon as I can. Tell no one. Okay? And pray, for both our sakes, that I'm successful in reviving her.
(Nostradamus carries her to his chambers on his back and lays her down)
NOSTRADAMUS (once in the comfort of his his own room): You're safe now.
(Catherine opens up her eyes and sits up)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Oh, thank God. Help me with this. It's digging into my back like a butcher's hook.
(Nostradamus holds up a hook-type device made of steel)
NOSTRADAMUS: You're lucky it held your weight, or you'd have hung yourself for real.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You're lucky they didn't find it hidden in the spine of that Bible you brought. Lying isn't exactly your strong suit. Now, where am I meeting the wagon?
NOSTRADAMUS: At the east end of the grounds... Past the s*ab. It won't be comfortable, but...
QUEEN CATHERINE: It's my only chance of making it to Italy undetected.
(Nostradamus looks concerned)
QUEEN CATHERINE: What is it?
NOSTRADAMUS: Something you need to know. Charles and Young Henry went missing today at the Frost Fair.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Missing? Do you mean kidnapped?
NOSTRADAMUS: It's too early to say. Bash has sent guards to search for them. Bash? So the fox has offered to help find the missing chickens?
NOSTRADAMUS: We don't know that he was responsible for their disappearance.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Of course it's Bash or one of his backers. Who else would profit from my sons' removal? My sweet boys.. Oh, they'll be terrified if they're even...
(Horrifed at the thought, Catherine puts her hand over her mouth)
NOSTRADAMUS: You must go to your rendezvous. The guards will be searching for you.
QUEEN CATHERINE: And abandon my children?!
NOSTRADAMUS: You can't help them from here. You're a condemned woman. Go to Italy, gather your strength. Others will see to the safety of your children here.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Others? I'm their mother! I will not leave this place until I know that my boys are safe, or until I am actually d*ad.
ELSEWHERE IN THE CASTLE:
MARY: What do you mean the boys didn't make it to the checkpoint?
BASH: They're probably fine. The carriage could've lost a wheel or a horse come up lame. I've ordered guards to ride out and look.
MARY: And what if they don't find them? Are you still so pleased with your choice to defy me and act so rashly?
BASH: There's no guarantee they'd have been any safer here. A servant of Catherine's was just found d*ad in a passage behind her chambers -- along with this box. The queen's enemies are growing bolder, even in this castle, which you deem so safe.
(Mary looks through the box's contents)
MARY: They're keepsakes; Mementos of her children. So few people know of the passageways. Who would hide a body there?
BASH: I'm going to talk to the guards who found her. I'll tell you if I learn anything.
(As Bash leaves, Catherine enters Mary's chambers, startling her)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Please don't scream. I mean you no harm.
MARY: How did you...
QUEEN CATHERINE: I escaped, my dear. I hid waiting. It's all very thrilling, but let's save that tale for later. My sons are missing, and you promised to protect them.
MARY: Bash has sent men after them, and he knows where to look, since he's the one who spirited them away for their safety.
QUEEN CATHERINE: "For their safety?" Is that what he told you?
MARY: I know this might be hard for you to understand, but Bash cares for his brothers more than any crown. Besides, I think it might be another sibling who's interested. You keep locks of your children's hair, but I don't believe you added this one to the collection.
(Mary shows her the greusome keepsake Clarissa left behind)
QUEEN CATHERINE (audibly disgusted): Is that skin?
MARY: I think it's Clarissa's.
QUEEN CATHERINE: She k*lled the servant that Bash was talking about.
MARY: Who else uses the passages? Who else would rather k*ll than risk exposure in the light? Look at how it's knotted around your sons', Charles and Little Henry's. Who else do you know who might feel like this, all knotted up inside over a family she just learned she had?
QUEEN CATHERINE: She thr*at me once. She said that I would get what I deserve, but what does that mean?
MARY: I think she wants you to know she has your sons... To torment you in your final days before your execution.
QUEEN CATHERINE: You said Bash knows the direction they went in. Can he track them? Francis always went on and on about his brother's hunting skills.
MARY: He can, and I'll be with him.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I'm coming with you. I know. I'll probably be caught, returned to my chains, but these are my children. And if it's me that Clarissa wants to punish, I need to be there to let her have her say.
IN PARIS:
(Daylight has come. The sounds of bells ringing and horses stirring around outside wake Lola up, for her to realize that she fell asleep beside of Francis, who has his arm draped around her. As she starts to get up, Francis wakes up as well)
LOLA: I'm so sorry. I... I must have nodded off.
FRANCIS: Me, too. We were talking very late.
LOLA: And the wine.
FRANCIS: Yes, and the wine.
LOLA: I should go. Thank you for what you did yesterday for me and my brother. It was brave and incredibly gallant. And I'm so sorry to have imposed on you.
FRANCIS: It was no imposition. Truly, it was nice to spend time with someone who.. I.. didn't have to hide from. I'm sorry; You don't want to hear this.
LOLA: Yes, I do. Please, finish.
FRANCIS: To anyone else, I'm a young man who has everything: money, freedom, a world to explore at my leisure. But when I think of all that, I only feel... emptiness. Pathetic, isn't it?
LOLA: Well, I hope not. Because I feel exactly the same. We're a pathetic pair, aren't we?
(Francis kisses her, but she pulls away)
LOLA: We can't.. Mary..
FRANCIS: Is no longer a part of my life. Like it or not, she's made her decision. And I'll never see her again.
LOLA: Or me, after today.
(They kiss again)
FRANCIS: I can't ask you to...
LOLA: Give up my virtue? Don't worry, I've known a man before. Just one, but Francis, I want to.
(They kiss once more and begin to undress each other, before moving over to the bed)
ELSEWHERE IN THE KINGDOM:
(Catherine has accompanied Bash and Mary to search for Prince Henry and Prince Charles. They come across a d*ad body)
BASH: It's the driver I hired to take the boys to Troyes.
(The driver has had his throat slit from one ear to the other. Dried blood has also pooled at the corner of his mouth)
BASH: There's no blood other than his. No reason to fear the worst just yet.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Yes, except my boys are still missing and perhaps in the hands of a monster. I swear, if she harms a hair on their heads, I...
MARY: Charles and Clarissa have played together many times. She's been friendly towards him.
BASH: We should split up to cover more ground. Even with several hours head start, a girl and two small boys couldn't have made it far.
(Bash's men begin to search the area on horseback)
BASH: We're going to find them. You have my word. And believe me, if they're anything but the picture of health, I'm the one you'll have to restrain.
MARY (spotting something on the ground): Bash, look!
(She leads them across the field, where they find a toy lying on the ground)
BASH: It's little Henry's. This way!
(They all run off, following a trail left behind by Clarissa)
CLARISSA (overlooking a lake, she talks to herself): She's no mother. She deserves this.
PRINCE CHARLES: Clarissa, what's happening? Why have we stopped?
CLARISSA: We're going to play a game. Gather all the rocks you can and fill your pockets. The heavier the better.
PRINCE CHARLES: Then what?
CLARISSA: Then we're going to go swimming.
PRINCE CHARLES: But it's too cold. And I don't know how to swim.
CLARISSA: Just do it!
(The boys reluctantly do as she asked, with their fear written across their face)
PRINCE CHARLES: What did we do? Are...are you angry with us?
(Mary, Bash and Catherine have finally caught up with them)
MARY (yelling): Clarissa!
(The boys see them and start running toward them)
PRINCE HENRY: Bash!
(Prince Henry makes it into Bash's arms, but Clarissa grabs Charles and holds a Kn*fe to his throat)
CLARISSA: Stay back! Don't come any closer!
MARY: Clarissa, please, you don't want to hurt Charles. He's your friend.
CLARISSA: He's my brother, but I never knew. 'Cause she never told me. She didn't want me. She hated me!
MARY: No. She didn't. She just didn't know you.
CLARISSA: She hated my face and they tried to fix it. That's why I look like this. That's why I-I had to hide my whole life.
MARY: It was a misunderstanding. A terrible misunderstanding. But it can end now.
CLARISSA: She tried to end it by getting rid of me. She took my family away. Well, now I'm going to do the same thing. Give me back little Henry, or, or I'll cut Charles!
QUEEN CATHERINE: Clarissa, dear, listen to me. I'm your mother.
CLARISSA: Stay back. You're not my mother. You told me you wished I was d*ad.
QUEEN CATHERINE: No, my dear. I am your mother. And do you know how I know? I see you now. Holding that Kn*fe. Willing to pay any price for your convictions. It's the same thing I've done more than once; to fight for my children. For what I knew was mine. But look at your mother now -- condemned to die. If you want the pain to stop, learn from your mother's mistakes. Choose a better way.. Let yourself be loved!
CLARISSA (crying): No. no, no ..
(Catherine continues to walk ever closer to Clarissa)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Put down the Kn*fe, child. We can all be together, all of us. Finally; your true family...
PRINCE CHARLES (screaming): Mother!
(Clarissa grabs ahold of him tighter and starts jerking him around)
QUEEN CATHERINE: You monster! Let him go!
CLARISSA: You liar! You don't care about me! You never will. You-you-you want us to be together? We'll be together when we're all d*ad.
(Clarissa goes to k*ll him, but before she can, Mary comes from behind and hits her over the head with a jagged rock. She slinks to the ground and Charles runs into his mother's arms. Mary looks at the bloody rock in her hand and throws it down to the ground)
QUEEN CATHERINE: Come! Oh!
(Little Henry also embraces her. Clarissa holds her arm up and Mary bends down and holds her hand until she dies)
PRINCE CHARLES: Clarissa's d*ad?
QUEEN CATHERINE: Yes. And you were both so very brave. And I'm so very proud of you.
(A guard comes up and puts his hand on Catherine's back)
GUARD: You'll have to let go of them, Majesty. It's time for you to get back to the castle and your cell.
QUEEN CATHERINE: Don't worry, my darlings. Mary will take good care of you.
(She embraces them both and they run to Bash)
QUEEN CATHERINE (to Bash): Make sure they have a hot bath when they get home. They're both blue with cold. Do you hear me?
MARY: You were out of the tower before you knew about them, weren't you? You were free and clear and yet, you stayed for them.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I may never see them again. Once the Vatican sends word that Bash is legitimized, you two will be married and I'll be d*ad. Probably that very day.
MARY: I'm sorry. I wish I could've found some other way to save Francis' life.
QUEEN CATHERINE: I believe you mean that. I owe all my sons' lives to you. If you hadn't finished Clarissa... You sent her to a better place. This world never suited her. And besides, she'll have her mother with her soon enough.
(Catherine is escorted back to the castle)
(Mary stands in front of the fireplace in her chambers. Bash comes to chat with her)
MARY: How are the boys?
BASH: Fast asleep. Little Henry was snoring before the Lord's Prayer was done and Charles wasn't far behind.
MARY: We're going to have to give them a bit of extra attention for a while, especially...
BASH: when their mother is gone. I know. And extra security too.
MARY: Oh, you mean...
BASH: Yes. My brothers are staying. You were right. Out there, we have to rely on others to look out for them but here, we can both keep an eye on them.
MARY: But I shouldn't have spoken to you the way I did. Giving you edicts, questioning your actions.You did what had to.. Without hesitation.
BASH: So you're not angry with me for acting impulsively?
MARY: Safe choices don't always make us safe. I see that now, which is why I want you to marry me. Now. Today.
BASH: I don't understand.
MARY: We've been patiently waiting for Rome to give us permission to do what we want. We've been playing it safe. And what has that gotten us? Factions and plots and uncertainty. Everything BUT safety. And what do we get if we do get married now? We get what we want. We force their hand. If the Pope wants a Catholic queen, one with the strength of France behind her claim to England, he'll have to legitimize you. He'll have no choice.
BASH: The Pope always has a choice. You could be stuck with a landless bastard for a husband.
MARY: I'm willing to take that risk. Bash; Marry me.
BASH: No.
MARY: Bash...
BASH: That's not how it's done.
(Bash gets down on one knee and takes Mary by the hand)
BASH: This is how it's done. Marry me, Mary ,Queen of Scots. And make me the luckiest bastard on Earth.
MARY: Yes.
(He gets up and they kiss passionately)
IN PARIS:
LOLA: Well, I suppose this is good-bye then.
(Francis and Lola embrace)
LOLA: Good luck on your travels.
FRANCIS: And you, back at court.
LOLA: Don't remind me.
(Before they can leave, the owner of the tavern interrupts them)
MAURICE: Headed back to French court then?
(Both turn around and look at him, expecting more trouble)
MAURICE: I mean you no trouble. Just wanted to ask the lady a small favor.
(Maurice pulls a coin out of his pocket and hands it to Lola)
MAURICE: When the queen is led out to the executioner's block, throw that at her for me. Tell her to try to buy her way out of this one.
FRANCIS: What are you talking about?
MAURICE: Oh, haven't you heard? There was a trial. She was found guilty of adultery. It's treason. The King plans to behead her within the week. And I, for one, will welcome the end of her Medici money rotting France. Oh bring that coin back with her blood on it, and I'll give you a fortune in house credit.
(Maurice laughs at walks away, leaving them alone once more)
FRANCIS: Did you know of this?
LOLA: I had no idea. It can't be true.
FRANCIS: I had no intention of ever returning to my father's court again, but if I don't, I'll be letting him m*rder my mother.
IN THE WOODS:
(Two of the king's men scout out a location to bury Clarissa in)
MAN 1: It's freezing. And it'll take us hours to dig her a grave.
MAN 2: So don't. There's no one around to check us. Grab her feet.
(They pick up Clarissa's corpse and throw it down a sloping hill. Her mask falls off and they hammer a wooden cross to the ground)
MAN 2: That's more than this wretch deserves. Let's go.
END CREDITS
-Wiki | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "01x12 - Royal Blood"} | foreverdreaming |
(In preparation for her beheading, Catherine runs through the motions with the executioner, but in typical Catherine fashion, she still carefully threads her corset, braids her hair and puts on expensive jewelry)
Catherine: (to the executioner): Make the blows sure and quick ...
(The executioner runs his axe across a blade, making sure it's sharp)
Catherine: (off-screen): Remember, I've paid you extra. I don't want my children to see you hacking at me.
(He tugs at the necklace, moving it out of the way)
Catherine: Don't break the clasp! I've promised this necklace to one of my ladies
(Catherine's head lies on the block. The executioner looms above her, but before he removes her head from her neck, she receives a formal looking piece of paper)
Catherine (rising): Prunes?! My oldest daughter can't eat them.
(Catherine looks around the room in disgust, pointing out all of the flaws in the decorations)
Catherine: The flowers! Full vases, cascading bouquets.. where are they?
Servant: We were told by the King to save them until the actual day.
Catherine: I need to see their placement.
(The servant hands Catherine the sheet of paper and she scoffs at it)
Catherine: What about the wine? 100 (indistinguishable), flowing freely. The nobles will expect it. Yes, let them drink and swim in my blood, thinking theirs is next once that bastard Sebastian takes the throne.
(In a small cottage elsewhere in France, Lola is preparing herself for the last leg of the journey back to French court)
Lola (hearing a knock at the door): Come in, Please. I'm nearly ready.
Francis: No rush. They're bringing the horses around.
Lola: No rush? I feel awful we stopped at all. You swear you didn't do it for me, because I'm a terrible rider?
Francis: We gained time on horse-back we never would've achieved by carriage, but we needed rest.... the horses were about to drop as well. And in truth, it may not matter. My mother might already be d*ad.
Lola: Don't say that!
Francis: You might think she deserves it, after all she has done to Mary ..
Lola: I think even Mary would say that's all in the past.
Francis: It will be soon if I can convince my father to spare her life. It's unbelievable, really.
Lola: What?
Francis: If all goes well, Bash begins his life with Mary and I get exile. And my mother...
(Francis trails off)
Francis: Not for long...I'll set her up somewhere, far away, with my brothers and then, I'll be on to the next.
Lola: Where will you go?
Francis: I was thinking Morocco.
Lola: You don't think you'd stand out in Morocco?
Francis: Sweden then? Perhaps, it's a land you'll visit one day? ... Walking along a frozen river, a displaced prince will appear in front of you.
Lola: Well, I hope I never see you again.
(Francis looks down at his feet and becomes quiet)
Lola: Because you're safe..settled. Married with children of your own.
Francis: I hope the same for you.
(They both look at each other and smile faintly, before a look of concern comes over Lola's face)
Lola: Francis, when you see Mary...
(Francis interrupts her before she can finish her thought)
Francis: We ran into each other at a château outside of d'Angers ... Traveled with each other for a day, and that is all. I know you live your life in service to her.
Lola: Mary is my friend.
Francis: Nothing we did will change that.
(In Nostradamus' bed chambers, he and a brunette lady are rolling around in bed)
Nostradamus: That was lovely. I think you should go now.
Lady: Don't do this to yourself. I won't leave you.
(Nostradamus sits up and is putting his clothes back on, while the lady protests)
Lady: I need to know you're all right.
Nostradamus (planting a kiss on her lips): if it comforts you...
(This seems to anger the lady, but Nostradamus remains insistent on carrying out his plan)
Lady: Why do you do it?
Nostradamus: Sometimes, when one is given a gift and worries they've lost it, they must return to its source: the giver itself.
(Nostradamus walks across the room and picks up a wooden stool)
Nostradamus: And for me that is death, or as near death as I dare to venture.
(He climbs on top of the stool and puts his neck inside of a noose. A moment later, he has hung himself, accidently knocking the stool over as he gasps for air)
Lady (frantically screaming): Stop it, please!
(She rushes over to him and unties the noose from a peg on the wall. Nostradamus falls to the ground)
Nostradamus (still struggling to breathe): The vision.... I wasn't done.
Lady: You saw something?
Nostradamus: This changes everything. I will die for this. The queen will k*ll me herself.
(Mary and Bash enter into the throne room, where Catherine had just been practicing her execution. Servants and other personnel still shuffle about the room)
Bash (to Mary): What a show...
Mary: She's going out in style.
(Catherine moves some vases from one of the table, until she sees the King enter the room)
Catherine (to herself): Must I do everything? Shall I catch my head in my own hands, too?
(The King avoids making eye contact)
Catherine (to Henry): When can we talk about my tomb?
King Henry: A Florentine sculptor? 20 tons of marble? I can't afford it.
(This angers Catherine. She storms off, across the room)
King Henry: After the 100 musicians... the dozen ships made of silver and gold....
Queen Catherine (interrupting him): Symbolic of my journey to Heaven.
(Catherine picks up a rose and smells it)
Queen Catherine: I'm not asking for a fleet.
King Henry: You're not headed for Heaven either. You're dragging this out.
Queen Catherine: You have to wait for final word on Bash's legitimization anyway. Why k*ll me if the line of succession reverts to my sons?
King Henry: You're a treasonous adulterer.
Queen Catherine (sarcastically): Then I'll continue with the seating chart.
(Catherine spots Mary, Kenna and Bash talking across the room)
Queen Catherine: Mary, the feast will be held there. Choose your place of honor.
King Henry: You are going to die. What they write about your execution won't matter.
Queen Catherine: It will to my children.
(Henry has had enough. He storms away)
Queen Catherine: 50 musicians and I'll reduce the gold inlay on my tomb!
(Suddenly, trumpets starts to play)
Mary: What is that?
Bash: There's a royal visitor.
(From across the courtyard, a woman wearing a beautiful black gown with a long veil enters the throne room. As she enters, she is greeted by all the royals in the castle, who nod respectfully)
Marie de Guise (seeing the axe from earlier): French court has gone to hell.
(Marie de Guise looks to Mary)
Marie de Guise: But I'm here now, dear.
Mary: Mother.
(Mary and Marie de Guise, her mother, sit in Mary's room and chat privately)
Marie de Guise: So I sent you here to wed a king and find you engaged to a bastard. My darling, your engagement to Francis was a careful negotiation set in place when you were six. And now, you tell me that you threw it all away because of a prophecy.
Mary: One I believe, Mother. I did this and Bash went along with it to save Francis's life.
Marie de Guise: From a fate a magician predicted.
Mary: Mother, it's all very complicated. And we haven't been together in so long.
Marie de Guise: I came to the convent for your 11th birthday. Half the ship's crew died along the way, but I was there... Gift in hand.
Mary: I only meant to say that I've missed you. And I wanted to talk to you about this, about Francis, about Bash, a-a-about everything. Please, don't make light of Nostradamus's warning... or my choice.
Marie de Guise: I make light of nothing concerning you, or our country's future...
(Mary cuts her off)
Mary: ... Perhaps if you met Bash. He's-he's kind and-and selfless and brave.
Marie de Guise: Do you love him?
(Mary chooses her words very carefully)
Mary: I'm beginning to... It-t all happened so fast.
Marie de Guise: Good. Perhaps there's still time for you to see things with a clear mind.
(Her mother grabs her hand and kisses her gently)
Marie de Guise: I've wanted to be with you as well, but there is trouble at home. Scotland is in peril.
Mary: The English, I know.
Marie de Guise: It's worse.Our country is on the Kn*fe's edge of falling into Protestantism. And we are Catholic rulers. You need France--a Catholic country, at your side, now. Marry its next king, and the Protestants will scurry into the darkness. Marry Francis. Not some bastard who someday *might* be king.
Mary: His name is Sebastian.
Marie de Guise: It has the same ring to it. Well, I have no choice but to support you, as I rule Scotland, but you are actually its queen. And my daughter. So headstrong.
(Marie de Guise is almost mocking Mary at this point)
Marie de Guise: So loving.
Mary: So you'll be patient?
(She wraps her arms around Mary and embraces her)
Marie de Guise: Yes.
ELSEWHERE IN THE CASTLE:
(Mary bursts into Bash's bedchambers, unannounced, but clearly upset)
Bash: Mary. Are you all right? Is all well with your mother?
Mary: Yes. She's just as I remember her, in ways that I often thought I had imagined.
(Bash takes her by the hands)
Mary: I used to love the smell of her perfume, the the tenor of her voice... even now, when she lied to me. She doesn't want us getting married. She will stop it. We have to elope. Today. Now.
(Bash and Mary scramble to make plans for their wedding, after the arrival of Mary's mother)
Bash: There's a church just east of the old village, by the quarry.
Mary: I wish that I could come with you.
Bash: Let me get it all arranged. It might take a few hours, and if we're both missing, people will notice. If I'm not back by midday, we have our priest. Get on a horse and meet me at the church before sunset.
(Bash plants a passionate kiss on Mary's lips and lingers there for a moment)
Bash: Don't plan on sleeping this night, wife.
(He turns to leave the castle. Mary watches as he runs, touching the place his lips once met hers and smiling from ear to ear)
(Marie de Guise and Catherine meet in the throne room and catch up)
Marie de Guise: At least you're moving about freely now.
Catherine: Guarded, but with the mobility required to plan my death.
Marie de Guise: How was the dungeon? Were there fleas? Were you paraded through the town, mocked?
Catherine: I was in the tower.
(Catherine pauses, realizing she is being mocked)
Catherine: I realize you're not happy with the turn events have taken, but must you paint a bleaker picture of my fall?
Marie de Guise: I trusted you with Mary's life. Not just her survival, though I hear you thr*at that, too. I gave up every moment of being a mother to my own child, based on your word that you would raise her to be Francis's wife.
Catherine: What did you think, when you traded a child for the protection of France? That we would put her welfare above ours? Lord knows you didn't. You gave her away to secure your rule.
Marie de Guise: I had an infant -- a girl -- not even a week old when my husband died, and she was crowned queen. I met unexpected horrors and tragedy and I faced them with courage. You... One charlatan scared you by whispering in your ear about your son's death: a future no one could know, and you changed the course of nations.
Catherine: Nostradamus's accuracy is an inarguable feat.
Marie de Guise: Here's a feat: Women like you and me, surviving in this age.
(Marie de Guise laughs at the thought)
Marie de Guise: I have sold my soul, and my child, to protect myself and my nation. Mary may be Scotland's queen, but I am its king.
Catherine: Has Scotland noticed that its king has rather overexposed breasts?
Marie de Guise: It is beginning to.
Catherine: Ah.
Marie de Guise: Now that Mary's come of age, they look beyond me, they want her, and I want her protected by France...France's true king. Not some bastard they can knock off the throne, whose life only took form because you couldn't keep your husband's interest in bed.
Catherine: I am defeated. If you want to fix this, do it yourself.
(Marie looks at Catherine, gives her a laugh and a nod and goes on to work her charm)
(Elsewhere in the castle, Mary and Kenna walk along a corridor. Greer finally arrives, carrying a white, lace veil, which she gives to Mary)
Greer: Ah, here it is. My mother had it packed deep in one of my trunks.
Mary: Well, it's beautiful, but will it be warm enough?
Greer: This isn't for your journey to the chapel. It's for you to cover your face as you and Bash stand before God and profess your love.
(From the corner of her eye, Greer spots a figuring entering the castle)
Greer: Is that Lola?
(Kenna and Mary both turn around and look as well. Seconds later, they see Francis emerge behind her)
Kenna: Why is she with Francis?
(Finally, Lola reaches the girls and they greet one another)
Lola: Mary. Kenna, Greer.
(She gives Kenna and Greer a warm embrace. While Mary and Francis' eyes meet for the first time since he left court after her proposal to Bash)
Lola (bowing to Mary): Your Grace.
Mary: You're back.
(Mary formally acknowledges Francis)
Mary: Both of you. Uh, your carriage, why didn't they announce your arrival at the gate?
Lola: We ran into each other at a château near d'Angers.
Mary: You came back together?
Lola: We rode. There were floods. The carriage I leased was swept away in the night. Can you imagine?
Mary: Along the river.
Kenna: You were at the Château de Martin?
(Kenna eyes Lola suspiciously, sensing something is off with her story)
Lola: You know it? Yes.
Lola: I'll get settled then.
(Lola notices Mary looking at Francis and she tries to smile through the anxiousness)
Lola: So happy to be back.
Mary: Yes, we're happy to have you back.
(Kenna and Greer accompany Lola back to her quarters, leaving Mary and Francis alone)
Mary: You heard about your mother? I'm so sorry.
Francis: I'm back to plead with my father for her life. I'll be gone from court once I have my answer and the matter is settled, and you and I will never see each other again. I don't mean that to sound cruel or angry.
Mary: I understand. You don't want to be seen as someone lying in wait to reclaim your throne.
Francis: Or anything else that now belongs to my brother.
(Francis bows to Mary and takes off into the castle)
(In Nostradamus' chambers, Catherine gives him the mask Clarissa wore, given to her by Mary before her death)
Queen Catherine: They brought this back, after Clarissa's death. I thought you might want to have it, as you were more parent to her than I. They buried her in an unmarked grave near the lake, where the North Road ends. I asked them to mark it with a cross, but it's unhallowed ground.
(Nostradamus takes the artifact, while Catherine moves across the room, her face etched with pain)
Queen Catherine: What will become of her soul, I wonder? Did she know any happiness in her miserable life?
Nostradamus: When she was young. The villagers who raised her for a time were kind.
Queen Catherine: How do you know that?
Nostradamus: She spoke of them... Of their games. A song they'd sing to calm her to sleep. Sometimes, I'd-d-d hear her sing it softly, to herself.
Queen Catherine: How lonely. And haunting.
Nostradamus: Yes.
Nostradamus: I'm going to tell you something that might enrage you. Since Mary's arrival, I've had visions of Francis's death.
(Nostradamus recalls some of those visions, which include drops of blood falling onto white flowers, him falling to his knees, his hands covered in blood and blood dripping from his ear)
Nostradamus: Violent images. They vary, but they were always tied to Mary.But they stopped completely when Clarissa died. I have beckoned them, every way I know how, because I had to be sure.
Queen Catherine: Sure of what?
Nostradamus: That Francis might live with Mary.
Queen Catherine: How can that be possible?
Nostradamus: I warned you that Francis, your firstborn, would die because of Mary..
Queen Catherine: You were very clear.
Nostradamus: Before either of us knew Clarissa was your firstborn.
(Catherine rises from the chair and grabs Nostradamus by the neck angrily)
Queen Catherine: The blood that has been spilled, my blood yet, was because of what you foresaw.
Nostradamus: It's not a science, it's a gift. Sometimes I hear voices, other times it's a feeling, a certainty ... as solid as stone.
Queen Catherine: And this new feeling?
Nostradamus: It came to me today. I saw their life together, and it is happy.
(Nostradamus recalls the vision he had earlier that day. In the future, Mary and Francis are laying in bed together)
Mary: After dinner, and your usual game of catch with Anne, James is going to want your attention, too, with his reading.
Francis: I'll have him work on it.
Mary: You promise.
(Francis lovingly touches Mary's face)
Mary: Promise me, I mean it.
(He returns back to his conversation with Catherine, in the present)
Nostradamus: They have children, as he is alive.
Queen Catherine: Children?
(Catherine becomes very emotional, she finds it difficult to contain them)
Queen Catherine: You see them years beyond their union?
Nostradamus: Yes.
(Catherine finally lets her emotions out. Her eyes tear up and she puts her hands into a prayer, as she is thanking God)
Nostradamus: Use this to save yourself. Tell Henry you've had a change of heart. That you won't stand in the way of their union.
Queen Catherine: This has gone so far beyond me standing in the way of anything. I am convicted of adultery (screaming)! Of treason! Mary is with Sebastian. And my son Francis...
(Nostradamus interrupts her)
Nostradamus: ....Has returned to court.
(Catherine's anger disappears)
Queen Catherine: You are brave to come to me with this. Because if I can't convince Mary to wed Francis, if I can't undo your mistakes, I will lose my head. But not before I watch you b*rned to death. I promise you that.
(After speaking with Mary, Francis goes to find his mother, to see what's going on and to formulate a plan to get her out of the castle. After leaving one of the corridors, Catherine spots Francis and runs to his side)
Queen Catherine: Francis!
Francis: Mother.
Queen Catherine: Ah, it's true! You're back!
(Catherine wraps his arms around him and kisses his face numerous times)
Queen Catherine: Oh, thank God.
Francis: They tell me Father's out hunting pheasant beyond the South Keep. I'm going to find him, get him to see reason... and I'll get you away from here.
Queen Catherine: No, no, Francis. There's something else that you must do.
(She pulls him away from prying eyes)
Queen Catherine: Everything I did, I did for you.
Francis: You needn't remind me.
Queen Catherine: I need you to forget all of it.
Francis: What?
Queen Catherine: .... Everything I warned you of. The warnings I gave Mary. Go to her, tell her that I believe the two of you can be wed.
Francis: I don't understand.
Queen Catherine: Your fate has changed.
(Francis rolls his eyes)
Queen Catherine: Oh, what does it matter? You never believed that Nostradamus had the power to see the future anyway. What matters is that you love Mary.
Francis: I did love Mary. You destroyed that.
Queen Catherine: Nonsense. She's with Bash now, but she loves you.
Francis: You don't know that. I don't know that.
Queen Catherine: What matters is what you want. Is it Mary? Is it to save my life? Is it the throne of France? Is it the safety of your brothers? Say it, say it!! I know it's true!
Francis: Yes. Yes, of course, I want all those things.
Queen Catherine: Then tell Mary I will cause her no harm ever. And that she will cause you no harm by loving you. By marrying you. Go to her.
(Mary's mother has been listening in. She inserts herself into the conversation)
Marie de Guise: But do it quickly.
(She looks over, seeing the spark in Catherine's eyes once again)
Marie de Guise: I see your son's return has restored your will to live.
Queen Catherine: It's because he will live.
Marie de Guise: Your magic has changed. How silly and marvelous. (to Francis) You don't believe in prophecies, do you?
Francis: No, I never did.
(Francis looks at Marie, remembering her from somewhere)
Francis: You're Marie de Guise.
Marie de Guise: Your future mother-in-law, if you so desire. If you get on your horse, and stop Mary from making the biggest mistake of her life.
Francis: Where is she?
Marie de Guise: Heading for a church near a quarry. The servants talked about a village nearly destroyed by the plague.
(Catherine looks at her, wondering how she knew that information)
Marie de Guise: Yes, I bribed them. He may as well know who I am, if we're to be kin.
Francis: I know the place.
Marie de Guise: Then hurry. Before your brother gets his hands on everything you want.
(Francis runs off, while Marie and Catherine smile at each other in triumph. Meanwhile, Bash waits outside the castle for Mary)
(King Henry walks through the castle's corridor, until a servant approaches him)
Servant: Your Majesty, a messenger has arrived. He said there's news regarding the line of succession.
King Henry: About Sebastian?
Servant: He awaits you in your throne room.
(Bash stands alone in a small cemetary outside the village. Finally, Francis arrives)
Francis: Brother
Bash (confused): Francis?
Francis: I'm going to tell you something... And it will hurt. I know you're here to elope with Mary. You don't need to. All that nonsense about the prophecy, it's gone now. My mother's let it go for reasons she can explain. I'm going to tell Mary. She'll talk to my mother, to Nostradamus. She'll be convinced.
Bash: She won't trust Catherine. I don't trust Catherine.
Francis: You don't want things to change, to revert. You're going to play on Mary's fear.
Bash: She came with me willingly. And she will stay with me.
Francis: She turned to you because she had to. It was only a marriage of convenience.
Bash: And what was yours?
Francis: It went beyond that. You know it.
Bash: And now you know ours did, too.
Francis: You're lying.
Bash: You entitled son of a bitch.
Francis: You. You're nothing.
(Bash rears back and punches Francis in the face, bloodying his lip. After a second, Francis launches at him and pushes him onto the ground. They both exchange punches until Mary finally arrives on horseback)
Mary (yelling): Stop! Francis! Bash! Stop! Stop! Please, stop!
(She jumps down and breaks them up)
Francis: You don't have to marry him! It's all over! My mother, Nostradamus, they say we can be wed.
Mary: What do you mean?
Francis: There is no prophecy keeping us apart. Please, listen...
Bash: Does it matter? Mary, nothing needs to change. We can still be wed.
Mary: What do you mean, no prophecy?
Francis: Even Nostradamus will tell you. Your fate is your own when it comes to who will you marry. Him or me.
(Mary enters Catherine's chambers without knocking)
Queen Catherine: I knew he would get to you in time.
Mary: Did your seer tell you that, too? Is this a game to you?
Queen Catherine: Nostradamus told me the prophecy was fulfilled with Clarissa's death.
Mary: How can I believe you when you have so much to lose?
(Catherine walks over to her nightstand, picks up a shard of glass and slits her wrist with it)
Mary: Oh, God, what are you doing?
Queen Catherine: Do nothing, and I will die.
(She throws the bloody glass across the room)
Queen Catherine: Watch me, if that's what it takes to convince you I'm not putting my life ahead of my son's. I never have.
Mary: Stop this.
Queen Catherine: I'll be beheaded if you don't choose Francis anyway. I'd rather die today to show you that I mean every word that I say.
Mary: Is this some kind of trick?
Queen Catherine: Test me.
(Catherine doubles over in pain, with her blood seeping down her arm)
Queen Catherine: Ask Nostradamus to explain how the future he sees for you and Francis has altered since Clarissa's death. Oh, yes. Be sure. Be very sure. I would want every certainty, too.
(Mary rushes over to Catherine and attends to her wound)
Mary: I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything. I believe you, but ...
Queen Catherine: .... you don't know what you want.
Mary: I love them. I love them both.
(A servant enters the room)
Servant: Begging your pardon, Your Majesties, but the king demands your presence.
(The King has gathered all of court into the throne room, with Mary, Bash, Francis, Catherine, Marie de Guise and the ladies in waiting)
King Henry: A messenger has arrived with news about the line of succession of England. Their queen is d*ad.
Mary: And she has named me her successor?
King Henry: After all her deliberations, they say she died suddenly in the night. But England is yours by bloodline, by right. You must claim it immediately, or your cousin Elizabeth will seize it from your grasp. You risk everything if you don't act now. If you want the Vatican's righteous support for anything you do, for the rest of your life, you will claim England now. If you want France as an ally, you will claim England now. If you want to take England, you will need the next king of France by your side. And you will wed one of my sons tonight.
Mary: I will take my life in my own hands. And I will not be bullied by you.
(As Henry files back into his room, a servant enters)
Servant: Lady Kenna requests a visit, Your Majesty.
King Henry: No.
Servant: She requests that I inform you that she's naked under her robe.
(King Henry takes a minute to contemplate letting her in)
King Henry: Send her in.
Kenna: It's nice to see you're still on your feet.
King Henry: What does that mean?
Kenna: I watched you take it lying down for weeks now, from all the women in your life. You don't like being bossed around by a girl, do you?
King Henry: Is this meant to arouse?
Kenna: I was wrong to blame and demand things of you. I should have blamed you, absolutely. I also should have offered you more of what you'd like... for what I'd like.
King Henry: You're offering me sex for a husband? I could get sex anywhere.
Kenna: Not from me. How little it would take for you to write me an introduction or two.
King Henry: You're not exactly inspiring me to send you away.
Kenna: What if I offered to stay here at the castle, even if I were married, at your beck and call? You'd have Diane. I'd have my station, my position. Find me a rich noble who treats me right, and I'll treat you right as well.
(Kenna kisses him seductively)
King Henry: You've learned many skills at court.
Kenna: Teach me more.
(Kenna slips off her robe)
Kenna: One suitor a week until I choose. Agreed?
King Henry: Agreed.
(Kenna starts taking off his clothing)
King Henry: No.
(He stops her by grabbing her hair)
King Henry: No more. I'm in charge now.
(Mary paces around her room, until she hears a knock on the door)
Mary: Have you found my mother? I need her now, more than ever.
Greer: They said she's with the king.
Mary: Trying to wring more out of Henry before I'm married to anyone, no doubt.
Greer: But who will you marry? Have you spoken with Bash?
Mary: No.
Greer: Francis?
(Suddenly, she hears another knock on the door. Catherine enters carrying a note)
Queen Catherine (to Greer): Could we have a moment?
(Greer exits)
Queen Catherine: What an eventful day. Francis's return, news of the queen's death and this.... News from the Vatican. If this letter confirms Sebastian's legitimization, it should take away any reservations you have about a bastard at your side instead of a King, as Bash will be King one day. If it denies his legitimization, how could Bash blame you for returning to Francis?
(Catherine hands Mary the letter, sensing her reservations)
Queen Catherine: I know you think you love them both. While that may be true, I argue that you love one more.
Mary: I am afraid.
Queen Catherine: Open it.
(Finally, Mary opens the letter and gasps)
Queen Catherine: Now you're free to go to the man you love.
(In his chambers, Sebastian sits looking into a mirror, cleaning the blood from his face)
Mary (entering his chambers): I can't marry you.
Bash: Yes, you can. Don't let your mother put ideas in your head about my ability to protect you, because I will be King. We can force the Pope's hand.
Mary: I know that.
Bash: With me, you are free and wild. You can be who you are, and I will always put you first.
Mary: Please, don't.
Bash: Say that you love me. Say it to me once, because I know that you do.
Mary: I love you, I do.
Bash: Say it. Say the rest. I need to hear it.
Mary: I love Francis more.
(Bash nods in understanding and Mary leaves his chambers in tears. After exiting, she sees Francis and she rushes into his arms and kisses him)
Francis: What's this?
Mary: Open it.
Francis: It's blank. It's nothing.
Mary: She let me decide. It's odd, isn't it? That your mother was the one to show me what was truly in my heart. You. It's you. It's always been you.
Francis: Does this mean you'll marry me?
Mary: Yes.
(She kisses him again)
Mary: We must protect Sebastian. There are those who will punish him for reaching for the throne.
Francis: Of course. I'll make sure of it.
(Francis enters hastily)
Francis: I am sorry for the way things have gone, but the outcome is this. You need to leave here and never come back. You've reached for the crown, and you failed to get it. You'll be seen by many as a thr*at.
Bash: The crown was never in my grasp, but I had Mary, and it galls you.
Francis: I was going to disappear in exile. That's your goal now, if you want to survive. My guards will take you south of here to a ship set for the southern coast of Spain, and from there, you should keep going.
Bash: You needed to vanish because you would have been a displaced king. But I'm just a bastard. In time, a very short time, if you'd accepted my presence, the nobles would, too, and I'd be safe. If you were so inclined.
Francis: I'm not so inclined.
Bash: Well, there it is the truth between us at last.
Francis: Make sure what's between us, brother, is distance. If you want to survive.
(In preparation of the wedding, Marie de Guise helps Mary with her attire)
Marie de Guise (laughing): It was all to legitimize Bash. Now Henry looks benevolent, forgiving.
(Marie holds a pair of beautiful earrings up to Mary's ear)
Marie de Guise: Your father gave me these.
(She puts them in Mary's hand and whispers some advice)
Marie de Guise: Make some heirs quick as you can. It's a queen's sons that give her power after all, though we've handled the misfortune of your sex, haven't we? Brave girls are we.
(On the other side of the room, Kenna and Lola talk in hushed tones)
Kenna: Greer said you were upset.
Lola: I came to your room last night to cheer you with hot cocoa, but your servant said you were meeting with the king.
Kenna: So?
Lola: It was very late. If you're back with him, I think it's a mistake.
Kenna: I know the château you claim to stay at in Angers where you ran into Francis. It b*rned down last year. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I can guess, so please don't counsel me on mistakes.
Marie de Guise: Come along, girls, be of service to your queen.
(Servants are decorating the castle for the wedding. From across the room, Nostadamus hears a song and he angrily approaches the girl whom is singing)
Nostradamus: Who are you? Why are you singing that song?
GIRL: I was told to sing it near you.
Nostradamus: By who?
GIRL: I was paid by another who was paid by a girl I don't know who.
Nostradamus: She's d*ad. That girl is d*ad. It's impossible.
(At the wedding ceremony, Catherine stands next to Marie de Guise)
Queen Catherine: The messenger who delivered the news of the English queen's death isn't here.
Marie de Guise: I suppose he knew he'd served his purpose and that your invitation was a mere courtesy, a thanks for giving us both what we want.
Queen Catherine: You bribed him to bear false news.
Marie de Guise: To get the job done, as you failed in that task completely. You can thank me later.
(Finally, Mary enters wearing a beautiful white gown and a veil. Her ladies follow her down the aisle, carrying the train of her dress. During the wedding itself, she is presented with a contract for her marriage. She glances back at her mother before she signs, waiting until she nods before she gives her signature. Meanwhile, Nostradamus goes looking for Clarissa's gravesite. When he finds the cross Catherine mentions, there is no body there, but footprints leading away from the site)
Nostradamus (to himself): Clarissa... She's alive.
(At the reception, Francis and Mary enter the banquet for their reception. Flower petals fall from the top of the room like rain, as the newlyweds share their first dance, with everyone else dancing around them. Meanwhile, Henry slips out of the room and approaches Bash, who is preparing his leave from court)
King Henry: You missed the wedding.
Bash: I thought it best.
King Henry: I've been thinking about what's best for all of us as well.
Bash: I'm leaving. You needn't worry.
King Henry: And yet I do. So you won't be leaving us just yet.
MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE RECEPTION:
(As Mary enjoys the party, her mother interrupts her)
Marie de Guise: I have some news to share. Turns out the English queen isn't d*ad after all.
Mary: The English queen is alive?
Marie de Guise: Catherine's aware, but I would keep the news to yourself.
Mary: You did this. To see me married.
Marie de Guise: The messenger's news was flawed. No one could blame that on me, or you. Everyone needs a little push on occasion. Even queens... Even France. All happiness comes with a price.And you paid yours with another's broken heart.
Mary: Sebastian...
Marie de Guise: .... will survive.
(Greer interrupts)
Greer: It's time for the consummation.
Mary: A moment, please.
(Mary waits for Greer to walk away before she gives her mother a piece of her mind)
Mary: Get out. Get out of my life. Get out of France.
Marie de Guise: I know you're angry, but you have everything you ever wanted.
Mary: And more power than you.
Marie de Guise: I'm your mother. I am ruling Scotland for you
Mary: Do that. And mind me, do it well. When I return to Scotland, to our home, it will either be because you have failed, or because you are d*ad.
(Nostradamus finally returns to the castle after searching for Clarissa's corpse. After he enters, he spots Mary and Francis across the room, happily in love. Suddenly, he has another vision.. the same one from earlier, but a bit longer this time)
Mary: After dinner, your usual game of catch with Anne, James is going to want your attention, too, with his reading.
Francis: I'll have him work on it.
Mary: You promise?
(Francis touches Mary lovingly on the cheek)
Mary: Promise me, I mean it. Promise me you'll try. One year of marriage, it isn't enough.
(Mary's eyes well up in tears)
Mary: Fight, Francis, please. I will give you children. Don't give up on our dreams.... On the life we could have.
(Francis looks very loopy. He raises his head on the pillow and blood falls from his ear)
Francis: Such a beautiful dream.
Mary: No. No, Francis, don't leave me.
(Francis closes his eyes and dies in Mary's arms. BACK IN REALITY, the vision is ended as Catherine approaches Nostradamus at the table)
Queen Catherine: So many years before them. I know I thr*at you. In truth, I'm so glad you had the courage to tell me how their fate had changed.
Nostradamus (ignoring his vision): Yes. They will be together for many years.
(Henry and Bash walk through the castle)
King Henry (to Bash): I do this not out of any malice, as you are my son, but to ensure peace. So that should you return, you have seared into your memory what is yours and what is not.
(Henry has bound Bash's hands together and he forces him to watch Mary and Francis consummate their marriage for the first time. After a few seconds, Mary and Francis look up and see Sebastian watching them, but they continue kissing anyway, with the whole room silent as a pin dropping)
(After being kicked out of the castle, Francis' men escort Sebastian out of France)
Guard: You're not a very trusting fellow, are you?
Bash: I was a lot more trusting before you took my w*apon.
Guard You'll get those back as soon as you leave us. They say you're a thr*at to the realm, but your family wants you safe. Alive.
Bash: Yes.
Guard You're not thirsty?
Bash: I have my own, thanks.
(Suddenly, the men pull their swords, but Bash was a step ahead of them, already having pulled one out. He slaughers each of the men one-by-one)
Bash (standing over a mortally wounded guard): Who paid you to k*ll me? The queen or my brother?
(The man dies before Bash gets an answer. So he hops on horseback and heads back toward the castle)
END | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "01x13 - The Consummation"} | foreverdreaming |
Previously on Reign...
Is that my husband's child?
Lola: You were engaged to Bash. If you tell Francis, I essentially become his.
Greer: You're a servant. Nothing can ever happen between us.
Remember this as the moment that you threw your happiness away.
So let's have that drink now.
Father, my evening took the loveliest turn.
Guard: The king is d*ad! Long live the king!
Guard 2: The king is d*ad! Long live the king!
Tell me your darkest truth, and I will tell you mine.
Lola is giving birth. You are the father of her child.
The time is now. We need to think like queens.
Mary: You are going to a village which has likely been exposed to plague. You can't leave.
Your friend, my child.
Perhaps my only child.
Listen to your heart and you will hear it as clearly as I do.
(horse neighs) (crows cawing) (horse neighs)
Mary: It is upon us now, an old and faceless foe. We have confirmed reports that the Black Death has returned once more to plague our lands.
Catherine: You needn't fear. Only take care.
Man: Where is our young king?
Mary: King Francis is safe. He is protected in a private home. You are all protected. I have ordered the castle be made secure to prevent the arrival of infection.
Man: What if the plague's already here?
Catherine: Anyone who is sick will be treated with dignity and kindness.
Kenna: Catherine's being too nice. What she'll really want is the sick rooted out or turned in by their neighbors.
Catherine: But if you should feel unwell, we urge you to seek our expert care.
Mary: There are early signs.
Nostradamus: Fevers. The expulsion of blood. But more commonly, aches, pains, bulbous sores that will burst. The blackening of extremities. Contact with others spreads the disease.
Greer: Aloysius, is that your daughter with Leith? Are they together? It can't be. I'm not jealous. I'm worried.
Castleroy: Why is that?
Greer: Leith made a sort of vow when things ended. That he'd attain wealth and station and that I would be forced to witness his rise and happiness with another.
Castleroy: You think that's why he's sought out my daughter.
Greer: I don't know.
Yvette: There. That's my father, and that's his fiancée.
Leith: That's your father?
Yvette: I'll be back.
Catherine: And none have fallen ill among us. The queen can confirm this.
Mary: No one at court has shown signs of the plague, not one. And I pray none will. We are prepared, and we are in the best position to survive.
Catherine: We are far from prepared. How could we be? Where is Francis?
Mary: I tried to stop him, but I was too late. I've sent guards, ones that can be trusted with the knowledge that the king is not safe…
Kenna: Mary!Can you tell us what's happening?
Mary: We have taken precautions. As far as we know, no one here has gotten sick. As queen, I will need to be isolated. I can't stay with you. I'm so sorry.
Greer: Are you all right? Where is Francis, really? He wouldn't leave you. Not now.
Mary: Lola sent word. She's having the baby. There are... problems with the birth.
Greer: Will she be all right?
Mary: I don't know. All I know is that she is my friend, and Francis is my husband. And God willing, there is an innocent new life. I tried to stop him from going to her when I found out about the plague. But he went anyway.
Kenna: You were trying to protect him.
Mary: And now I must protect his people.
Greer: Mary, your task is to survive. That's what Francis would want.
Yvette: When were you going to tell me?
Leith: I had no idea Lord Castleroy is your father until you pointed him out. But then you were off to him before I could even stop you.
Yvette: Off to my father and his fiancée. I met Greer just a few days ago. I liked her.
Leith: It's over. I wouldn't have pursued you in any way if it weren't or if I'd known who you are.
Yvette: If you could be with her now, would you?
Leith: I can honestly say I would not.
Yvette: These could be our last days on Earth. Spend them with me.
Leith: I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Yvette: We could... hide away somewhere, away from everyone.
Leith: Yvette, this isn't wise.
Yvette: A rooftop somewhere. I don't care. We'll bring food and blankets.
Leith: There's things I must do.
Yvette: Tomorrow then. I'll find you.
Leith: You should be away from others. If you're exposed, you risk…
Yvette: I know. I know. But you can't come to me at my father's suites. There's a family, old friends. I'll make an excuse to check in on them and wait for you there.
Leith: I don't know, Yvette.
Yvette: I'll send word once I'm there.
Kenna: Bash. I just spoke with Mary, and they are isolating people merely for seeming unwell.
Sebastian: Of course they are. They have to. And if anyone is truly ill with plague, chaos will follow. There isn't enough food. Not for every household at court. Not for the weeks it will take for the disease to burn itself out or the famine that will surely follow.
Kenna: You're not an optimistic fellow, are you?
Sebastian: I've had food brought to our chambers, as much as I could demand in good conscience. Kenna, you have to find Pascal and secure yourselves until the plague has passed or passed us over.
Kenna: How long will that take?
Sebastian: Weeks. Maybe longer. (sighs) You should go. Now. I'll find you after I confer with the kings guard.
Kenna: Why you?
Sebastian: Because Francis isn't here, and I know the chief of the guards. They're scared, too. But they need to know they're accountable for their actions when this is over. (panting)
Man: My wife's going to be furious. Some court gathering. But I'd die without your company.
Girl: So would I.
Man: Your Majesties, my apologies for missing the gathering. I…
Guard: Not today, sir.
Man: My lord, please join us.
Estelle: Who are you?
Lola: Francis. It's all right. I know him.
Francis: You're alive.
Lola: Yes. To my surprise. So is the child, thank God. It's a boy. You have a son.
Catherine: And here we are... (chuckles) the two of us. It's been hours. Why hasn't Francis returned? Speak freely. The king's guards are sworn to secrecy. Surely he saw signs of the plague before he got too far. And why would he go on just to help one of your ladies? And where are the guards that you sent?
Mary: Delayed, clearly, or deserted.
Catherine: Or d*ad. (sighs)
(somber music playing)
Mary: The music.
Catherine: That's the signal that someone has fallen ill. It's g*n.
Mary: Less than half a day since we announced the thr*at. Whoever is sick was already here, which means there will be more to follow.
Catherine: But the airs near us will be b*rned clean. It worked for the Pope. Mmm. Who is it? Who has fallen ill?
Nostradamus: A s*ab. The sores are already in evidence. He'll be d*ad within a day, two if his body can endure the suffering. I heard you sent guards for Francis.
Mary: I asked for volunteers.
Nostradamus: As they have not returned, I would like to volunteer.
Mary: Why you?
Catherine: Because he believes himself immune to the plague.
Mary: The young family you lost.
Nostradamus: I've had the misfortune of living in two regions of outbreak. And I should have died with them, but I did not. Lola's letter said she was at the house just north of the mill?
Mary: Yes, but... there is unrest and many other dangers besides illness.
Catherine: And if any have befallen my son, who has risked so much for your friend... Unless there's another reason why he has rushed to her side. Tell me, Mary, is there?
Mary: Do not taunt me or seek to sew discord. Not this day. Nostradamus is willing to risk his life to save our king, my husband and your son. Thank him and say good-bye. I order you as your queen, show your gratitude and then grant me your silence.
Catherine: Thank you, Nostradamus.
Kenna: Pascal. Pascal, stop. I've been looking for you for hours. Come on, we have to go.
Man: The servants seem to be scattered. I'm merely asking this one to help fetch some food from a larder.
Kenna: He's no servant... he's my ward.
Man: I need help. My wife's taken shelter with other family. I'm on my own.
Kenna: He's coming with me.
Man: It's girls like you who get men like me locked away from our wives in the first place.
Kenna: What does that mean?
Man: Whores. You were the king's whore. He's d*ad. You're nobody now.
Kenna: I am married to the current king's brother. I am a lady.
Man: Queen Mary's disgraced lady, wed to the b*st*rd with a title designed to make everyone laugh. I ought to have you whipped.
Pascal: I'll do it. I'll fetch whatever you need and then I'll come back to our quarters, all right?
Kenna: Pascal, you don't have to do this.
Pascal: I'll come right back, I swear.
Lola: No thank you, Estelle.
Estelle: You need to sleep, Lady Lola. You've lost too much blood.
Francis: The carriage outside... is it yours?
Lola: Yes. There was a driver, but he left on foot when he heard of the plague. To be with his family. I know that's where you'd like to be as well. At Mary's side.
Francis: I came thinking that you might be d*ad and my child might be alone in this world.
Lola: Well, that would be simpler.
Francis: That's not what I wanted. I'm saying that I didn't have a moment to think. And I resent you for lying to me. I am king, I should be at my court with my wife.
Lola: You could have taken the child straight back to the castle. It is your right.
Francis: The boy who sent for the midwife said the bridge was out. I'd have to cut around the east village, hard h*t by plague. It would take more than a day to return. How would I keep a new born alive without its mother?
Lola: I see you've considered the possibility. And yet... you haven't touched the baby. It's all right to admit that you don't want this. I know you don't. No one beyond this room need know the truth of this child's parentage. My poor Julien is d*ad, but the child will have his name.
Francis: You have it all sorted out, don't you? You and Mary.
Estelle: George, your fingers.
Lola: Oh, Lord, he has the plague.
Francis: We have to leave. Now.
Estelle: It's for the babe. It wasn't near my brother.
Lola: You didn't touch him either, did you? You should leave this house. You could ride one of the horses.
Estelle: I can't leave my family.
Francis: You'll die.
Estelle: Pardon my saying so, but... I'd be no safer on my own, or with the king of France. You'd do better with guards. Or lying about who you are. Godspeed to you both.
Mary: Lord Eduard, how may we help you?
Eduard: Many of the nobles have secured themselves. Others prefer to drink in the gallery as if nothing is wrong, but the death count mounts. Do you know how many are d*ad so far?
Mary: Fourteen.
Eduard: 14, here on our first day of contagion. How many will be d*ad when we wake tomorrow? Do you count the lower class? Servants and the like, taken to the catacombs, the tower, the south keep?
Mary: I count every life lost. Now what do you want?
Eduard: To add another to the pile. I'm sorry to be so abrupt, but while my enemy is accessible I need to strike.
Mary: I don't understand.
Eduard: There's someone I thought untouchable. I'd like him to die of plague. Put him in one of the mass holding cells. He'll be infected soon enough, and no one will heed his cries.
Mary: You come here and blatantly request we m*rder your foe?
Eduard: If it were a request I wouldn't be so blatant. It's more of a demand. One I have no doubt you will grant.
Catherine: And what will you gain?
Mary: Catherine.
Eduard: Vengeance. Pierre Voland beds my new wife, and with some frequency. His father's a close friend of my father's, they engage in trade as well. I'd k*ll him myself, or have someone do it, but I fear reprisal.
Catherine: What, from your father? If your vengeance cost him money.
Mary: Catherine, that's enough.
Catherine: Don't you want to know the details? What's at stake? What kind of animosity lurks within your realm?
Eduard: Here are the details. As you know, my family provides grain and meat to the entire region, but more than that, the castle relies on our weekly deliveries. These deliveries happen when I signal that I've been paid. Nobles have raided the stores of food.
Catherine: Mm.
Eduard: And in order to maintain control over them, the servants, the guards and the soldiers who live within reach, you need this week's delivery to happen. Or they may reach for your necks. Food for survival in exchange for one life, easily taken. I leave you to consider the opportunity.
Catherine: Welcome to your rule, my queen. And welcome to the real France.
Mary: Is that how you and Henry have maintained your rule? By bowing to your nobles?
Catherine: It's simple math. If one life saves more, you have your answer.
Mary: One life matters. Every life matters. We will find grain elsewhere.
Catherine: I don't think you understand who Eduard is.
Mary: He comes from a large, wealthy family with many holdings. What more do you want me to understand?
Catherine: That as a royal you are given your position by birth or marriage, but your power comes from nobles... from the regions that only they can control. We have order, food and money because they grant it to us. And in exchange, we grant them certain privileges. Deny Eduard, and you and Francis will pay a very high price.
Mary: Francis would never agree to this.
Catherine: He hasn't been king yet.
Mary: We can punish Eduard, claim his grain.
Catherine: Claim a noble's property? Others will revolt. The death could be painless, I can help with that. One death, and you'll forget about it when you see your hungry are fed.
Mary: I won't forget about it. I have sacrificed lives before, and every one takes me a step further away from the person I want to be.
Catherine: The person you are... is Queen. And a favour for a favour keeps you on the throne.
Mary: That is your way. And you were right, in what you said before. I want to be a different kind of queen. One that my husband is proud of. Send word to Lord Eduard. Tell him that I have considered his request and that it has been denied.
Leith: I'm surprised you're not holed up in Castleroy's suite. (short laugh)
Greer: I'm surprised by how quickly you put your thr*at into motion.
Leith: I don't blame you for suspecting otherwise. Given what I said to you. But meeting Yvette was blind chance. I didn't know she was Castleroy's daughter, I swear.
Greer: Really. What are the odds?
Leith: That I would meet someone above my class with an open heart? Someone who didn't care whether or not I was titled? Slim, I assure you.
Greer: You're going to pursue her, aren't you?
Leith: Whatever happens, it has nothing to do with you.
Greer: It has everything to do with me. Don't you understand, if you married her, you would be in my life. My son-in-law. Even before that, we'd be forced to see each other, to pretend there's nothing between us, and... maybe there wouldn't be for you. Maybe there isn't.
Leith: It was days ago that you broke my heart.
Greer: If you feel anything for me at all, don't test me in this way, for I will fail. I will make a terrible mistake and I will be destroyed.
Leith: I was on my way to meet her.
Greer: Please don't.
Lola: Shh. Francis, the baby... I... I can't feed him. I need water. I need to drink something or else…
Francis: I know, that's why we stopped. There's a clean lake ahead, but...
(horses whinny)
Lola: We're not the only ones here, are we?
Francis: No, we're not. Let me talk to them.
Man: What's wrong with her?
Francis: We're not infected. We just need to pass and get to the lake. She's not sick. She's just given birth.
Louis: No need for that. Unless you use it as a walking stick you lean against as you bow. Which I recommend we all do, as this is our new king.
Francis: You look familiar.
Louis: My name is Louis, and we're cousins. Many times removed. I've seen you at court. Relax. You're safe now, among loyal subjects. And a few mutts that bark long before they bite.
Sebastian: Nathan. Have you seen my wife?
Guard: No. (sighs) But I'm as bleary-eyed as you look.
Sebastian: There have been desertions. I was up all night managing the security of the lockdown.
Guard: That's what you should tell your wife to do. Lock down in your quarters and stay there.
Sebastian: I did. She left a note saying she was going out this morning. Trying to find the child we care for.
Man: Quickly, now, secure Lord Voland and his family.
Eduard: You've made things very difficult. A noble fell ill in the gallery. It caused a minor panic. It sent Pierre Voland and his family scurrying to their private quarters. Now he's locked in there with his entire household. I don't see how you could get to him without k*lling the others as witnesses.
Mary: Did you not receive my message?
Eduard: I did. And I'm giving you the chance to reconsider. As the landscape has quite literally changed. Look outside. Villagers all around are burning the homes of the infected. Now the fires are burning out of control.
Catherine: Those other holdings you were counting on.
Mary: We have no grain.
Eduard: After the plague has passed, a famine will spread across the land. Many will die. And their deaths will be on you. Take that to your grave when the hungry rise up and k*ll you.
Lola: There now, that's better. All I needed was a bit of water and all you needed was milk. Your cousin's been generous. How long are they planning to stay here?
Francis: He says until the plague has passed. And then they'll return home. He rules over a region two days' travel from here. It'll be rough terrain that they'll cross, but his men and horses will be well-rested. It could be days for us. The only other road to the castle is blocked by fires raging on either side.
Lola: I'm sorry.
Francis: Would it really have been so awful to tell me the truth? I would have been angry with myself, not you.
Lola: I tried to handle the situation on my own, to save you and Mary from complication.
Francis: Because you wanted your freedom. I know you, Lola. We shared more than a bed in Paris, and I know how you feel about court. You didn't want to be tied to it or to me. I don't blame you. There's little for you in it. And one night should not define your life. Or mine. But I would have liked to have been consulted in the choice. So forgive me if I no longer consult you in mine.
Lola: The lie of his paternity can stand. When this is done, I... I could be on my way with my son, not yours.
Francis: Enough. I know that you have been through terrible hardship. That is not lost on me. But I am the king of France, and... (baby cries) the truth is that child is whoever I say he is.
Kenna: Pascal, are you here? There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. What happened?
Pascal: I wanted to come back to you, but he wouldn't let me leave. I brought him food and water.
Kenna: Are you hurt? What's happened?
Pascal: When I held the cup to his lips... he started coughing.
Kenna: Pascal... is that his blood on you?
Pascal: I can't swallow and my bones hurt.
Kenna: It's all right. Pascal, you have to listen to me. I'll take you someplace safe with food and water where I can look after you. We have to cover your shirt, and you have to act as though you are well. And we have to keep you away from pe…
Girl: Guards! They're infected!
Kenna: No, no, no! No!
Girl: Guards!
Kenna: No! No, no, no, wait! I'm one of the queen's ladies! Please, I'm not sick! No! No!
Catherine: They will slip away into peaceful sleep like so many families caught by this terrible plague.
Mary: Just slip away? You are proposing that we m*rder Lord Voland's entire household.
Catherine: It wouldn't have come to that if only you'd listened to me.
Mary: I will not condone the m*rder of innocents. Did you find them... Francis and Lola?
Nostradamus: Many roads are blocked. It wasn't until dawn that I found the mill house where they went. The neighbours had set f*re to it. And beyond the flames I could see the front door was nailed shut, and the painted red "X" of the plague was on the door.
Catherine: Is that all? Didn't you look inside?
Nostradamus: I'm immune to the plague, my queen, but not f*re. I got as close as I could, but I saw no sign of Francis or Lola. But if they were inside, between the disease and the flames…
Mary: Maybe they left. Sought shelter elsewhere. Until I see proof, I know they are alive. They have to be.
Catherine: Yes. I don't want to believe it either. But you're right... for you, Francis must survive.
Mary: What do you mean?
Catherine: If even a whisper of this news gets out, all eyes will turn from you to the future, to the next king after Francis, to me, as regent, as Charles is but a child.
Mary: You have just found out that your eldest son might be d*ad, and your first instinct is to seize power?
Catherine: I've only had one instinct ever, and that is to protect my family and their birth right, which is their rule. When this plague is done, France will need two things to survive: food and s*ab. I'll provide food with a painful but needed sacrifice. I'll deal with the Volands and, unlike you, I'll provide s*ab with plenty of sons to wear this country's crown.
Mary: I won't allow you to do that. When Francis returns…
Catherine: He will thank me for saving his realm from his very naïve young queen.
Louis: Lord Narcisse.
Francis: Lord Narcisse. I know that name. He controls land around here. More and more every day.
Louis: Narcisse, what brings you here?
Narcisse: Same as you, Lord Conde. Clean air and water. I'm heading north, where the plague hasn't yet spread. But that doesn't explain what our new king is doing here. Majesty. I am Stephan Narcisse. I was a friend of your father's.
Louis: The king was reviewing cathedral repairs when the roads were cut off by the plague. I offered my hospitality while he waits to return to the castle.
Narcisse: I see. Very kind of you, Conde. We found the girl alone near her house, with a red "X" marked on the door.
Lola: Estelle.
Narcisse: Her family were dying of the plague, the neighbours already gathering animal fat to set the roof ablaze.
Lola: My God, why is she in a cage?
Narcisse: I realize it looks... barbaric, keeping a girl where my livestock should be, but the bars are simply to isolate her until we know that she's not infected. Then she'll be released. Had we left her there, she would surely have died. My heart couldn't bear the thought. I wouldn't get too close, milady. If she is infectious, then you would have to be isolated, too. And then you couldn't feed your baby. Water your horses, then yourselves.
Francis: Why did you make up that story about the cathedral?
Louis: This is not a man you share secrets with.
Francis: Why don't you like him? What has he done?
Louis: Some nobles build fortunes with hard work or by serving the crown. Others find shortcuts.
Francis: Ah.
Conde: I'd be curious to know if the girl's family lived long enough to die of plague. You'll know if Narcisse winds up with their lands.
Narcisse: Conde. Oh, safe voyage on your boat. I hear it's finally arrived, waiting for you. Oh. Did Lord Conde not mention that he has a boat waiting for him up north to escape the plague? No? I would have thought he would offer his new friend the king the same chance of survival as his own. Be careful of this one, Majesty. He's ambitious. A new king needs to know who his real friends are, especially at times like this.
Kenna: Pascal. Pascal, I can't hear you.
Pascal: I think I fell asleep.
Kenna: Would you like me to sing you another song?
Pascal: I had a dream. I saw my mother.
Kenna: You did?
Pascal: She was younger, though. She looked... like you. She said she'd care for me. Or was that you? (sniffles)
Kenna: We've both been blessed to care for you. You're a wonderful boy and a good soul, and you are and always were loved. Pascal, God loves you, too. Pascal? Pascal, can you hear me? (sniffles) God will love you, too.
Sebastian: Kenna. If you can hear my voice, answer me!
Woman: I'm here! Help!
Sebastian: Kenna.
Woman: (grunting) (grunts) (grunting) I'm so thirsty.
Sebastian: No, you can't go that way. That's the gallery. You can't go in there. Please,
Woman: I want to go.
Sebastian: It's full of people.
(shouts, grunts) (gasps)
Man: My lord.
Sebastian: Stay back. I'm surely infected, too. (coughing)
Mary: Oh, no.
Catherine: Thank you for coming. That's close enough. I'm stricken. I don't know how it happened. I was so careful.
Mary: Is there anything I can do?
Catherine: Oddly, you've already done it. I can meet my maker with less blood on my hands. Your hesitation to take a life has saved me from taking many. I simply didn't have time before falling ill to m*rder that household. There's something else you should know. I didn't want to be me either. Well, I blame Henry. Being a queen unloved by your king is excruciating. And dangerous.
Mary: Henry loved you.
Catherine: Some. Once. Not enough. Not the way that Francis loves you. An indiscretion, even a child, doesn't have to get in the way of a marriage. (sighs) Don't let Lola come between you. Because you are nothing but a guest in this court without the support of your king.
Mary: It worked. How long will her symptoms last?
Nostradamus: The dose I gave her will only last a day or two. And then she will have a miraculous recovery. We can only pray she doesn't suspect our hand.
Mary: You have risked much to help me.
Nostradamus: Death already walks the halls freely here. And to see Catherine feed it more souls... I couldn't save my own family, but I can save this one.
(indistinct crowd chatter, crickets chirping)
Louis: I was dishonest with you.
Francis: I understand why you didn't tell me about the boat. It's like an ark in a great flood. If word got out, it could be overrun or taken from you.
Louis: That lady sparkling by the f*re is my mistress, Lady Doutzen of Amsterdam. (women giggling) She's married. I'm not. But we share in the sin and so much more. When people started dying, I promised her a safe voyage home. Some of my men will go with her. The other passengers are members of her household, her children. There's still room for one more mistress and her child.
Francs: Lady Lola is not my mistress. I love my wife.
Louis: If you love your wife, put them on the boat. Lady Lola could marry again. And the child won't grow up like your brother... a b*st*rd spoken of in scornful whispers. You'll have others. I know what it is to make a mess of love. Go back to your wife. Without the poison of a lover and a b*st*rd child.
(woman laughing)
Francis: Conde's boat is leaving in the morning. You can accompany them to the Netherlands and then continue on. You can live your own lives.
Lola: What will you do?
Francis: I'm going to ride out in the morning. I have to get back to Mary.
Girl: Finally. Still waiting on your handsome young soldier?
Yvette: Shh. I'm not so sure he's coming. But I haven't given up hope just yet.
Mary: Eduard Narcisse, I have brought you here to tell you that Lord Voland's family is not to be harmed under any circumstances.
Eduard: Where is the queen mother?
Mary: I am the queen of France, and you are my subject. What is your real grievance with Lord Voland? Even you wouldn't slaughter an entire household for a woman.
Eduard: This could have been so much cleaner for me and for you. I'm not the kind of man who likes to get his hands dirty. One favour... it's all I asked. One life. But now so many.
Mary: What did you do?
Eduard: After I found the poison, I found the dumbwaiter, which delivered the water directly into their locked suite.
Mary: Oh, God, no.
Mary: They're all d*ad. Poisoned. Find out who each and every member of this household is. For even the servants' families deserve to know.
(distant crying and shouting)
Sebastian: Dear God, stop their suffering. (sighs) You there... Child, are you all right? Wait. I know you.
Girl: You gave me back my Clementine before when she fell. They've all fallen now. So much suffering.
Sebastian: What's happened to you? Why aren't you with your family? Are you d*ad?
Girl: Yes.
Sebastian: Am I? Was I infected?
Girl: No. You'll live. But I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be. The same is true of many others, and they're angry. We're not leaving. Not till we're done.
Sebastian: Done? With what?
Girl: There will be a reckoning.
(gasps) (wind whistling) (bird squawking)
Eduard: Mary, I didn't realize you…
Mary: That I was having you followed? I knew you would signal for the grain. I was right about you. You don't want to risk my husband's ire.
Eduard: It's one thing to m*rder a foe…
Mary: An entire household.
Eduard: Another to starve his court, so, let's put it behind us.
Mary: Take him. Make sure he's unarmed.
Eduard: Why? You can't change anything. It's done.
Mary: Yes, it is... and by your own admission. m*rder is a very serious crime. Even during a plague, when it seems some people believe that a little extra death shouldn't trouble us.
Eduard: The Volands are already gone. You may have this shipment of grain, but what about the next? Why make an enemy out of those you need most? What do you gain?
Mary: Justice. Take him away.
Eduard: You're wasting your time! My father will free me!
Mary: No, he won't... because he'll never find you.
Sebastian: Kenna? Kenna? Kenna, can you hear me?
Kenna: Bash! Bash? Is anyone here?
Sebastian: Kenna? Kenna, is that you?
Kenna: Bash! (grunts) Bash! Bash!
Sebastian: Kenna!
Kenna: Is that you? Bash!
Sebastian: It's all right. I'm here. I'll free you. (grunting)
Kenna: Hurry!
Sebastian: Stand back. (grunts)
Kenna: Oh, Bash. Oh, thank God you came! (panting)
Sebastian: I was afraid you were d*ad. I was afraid we both were.
Kenna: Oh, Bash, Pascal... he was infected, and now he's gone.
Sebastian: Well, it's over now. You're all right. We're both all right.
(horse sputters)
Louis: The ship is two days' ride from here, with frequent stops for rest. Your friend and her baby will manage the trip comfortably.
Francis: I'm grateful. (baby crying) Lola? (baby crying) (sighs) Lola, he's crying. (baby continues crying) Come on, don't cry. (baby crying) All right, then. Shh, shh. (baby cooing)
Lola: I'm sorry. I went to fetch water for the trip. He was asleep when I left. Francis…
Man: The party is mounting up. Riders will follow to carry your things, my lady.
Lola: Thank you.
Francis: I understand all the reasons, I do. I ju... I just cant. You can't leave on that boat. You won't take away my son.
Eduard: You're taking me to the catacombs. That's where the sick are locked up. If you put me down here, I'll die!
Mary: I'm aware.
Eduard: I'm what this realm needs. Nobles like my father Lord Narcisse gave the crown to your husband's family. They can take it away. You're making a mistake! And your husband will hate you for it. As soon as he learns how the world works, how it's always worked.
Mary: Open the door, put him inside.
Eduard: His mother knows it. So did his father. His heart beats with their blood, and there is nothing older or stronger than royal blood. You'll see. (whimpering) No! No! (coughing) No! Mary! No! (screaming) No!
♪ For you to arrive ♪
♪ And the one you're holding ♪
♪ Is not the one you left behind ♪
♪ He'll be there waiting ♪
♪ For all of your life ♪
♪ And though our goals are all ♪
♪ At one ♪
♪ With the snow ♪
♪ I could not turn away from all I wish I did not know. ♪ | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "02x01 - The Plague"} | foreverdreaming |
Previously on Reign...
Mary: We have confirmed reports that the Black Death has returned once more to plague our lands.
Francis: I understand all the reasons. I do. I just can't. I won't let you take my son from me.
I will rise until I am rich and powerful. But I will never be yours again.
Greer: Is that your daughter with Leith?
Mary: Eduard Narcisse. How may we help you?
Eduard: There's someone I thought untouchable. I'd like him to die of plague. Food for survival... in exchange for one life.
Mary: Every life matters! We will find grain elsewhere. You m*rder an entire household!
Eduard: Why make an enemy out of those you need most?
Mary: Justice. Take him away.
Eduard: My father will free me!
Mary: No, he won't. Because he'll never find you.
Eduard: (coughing) No! Mary! No! (screaming) No!
(bird caws)
♪ They won't know ♪
♪ Who we are ♪
♪ So we both can ♪
♪ Pretend... ♪
(groans)
♪ It's written on the mountains... ♪
Sebastian: There's 12 corpses. All adults. No... no shovels, no hooks. Keep your gloves on and wrap them with care.
Guard: You should get some rest, my lord. It's not your job to handle the d*ad. It's ours.
Sebastian: No, we have to give them proper burial. So their souls can find rest.
♪ And the pieces broke ♪
♪ And people wanted more ♪
♪ And the ♪
♪ Rugged wheel ♪
♪ Is turning ♪
♪ Another round ♪
Mary: I knew he was alive. I could feel it in my heart.
Catherine: Thank God you were right. Please don't tell Francis that I mistook my illness for the plague. It's embarrassing.
(crowd clamoring)
♪ Dorian... ♪
Francis: Mary.
Mary: Where is Lola? Is she all right? (baby cooing)
Lola: Mary.
Mary: Lola. The... the child, is it... ?
Lola: I have a son. (baby crying) (women cooing) (shushes)
Francis: Bash, oh, thank God you're all right. We have to talk soon. I need an advisor I can trust. I want you on my council.
Sebastian: You're already talking politics.
Francis: Because I am already king.
Sebastian: I'm no politician, Francis. I don't belong on a privy council. It's a liar's job.
♪ Dorian, carrion ♪
Francis: Mary? I'd like you to meet the man that saved our lives. My cousin. Louis of Conde.
Kenna: Oh, he's easy on the eyes, isn't he?
♪ Will you ever let... ♪
Mary: Thank you for bringing them home safely. Thank you so very much.
Louis: It was an honor. As is this.
Francis: You and your men must rest here before you leave. (women laughing) Your kisses are more easily attained than your words. I left impulsively.
Mary: You did.
Francis: And now I have returned with Lola's child. I held him and... I don't know what role he'll have at court, but I want to be a part of my son's life. Of this child's life, but we will have others. Mary, my father's indiscretions were blatant, but out of respect for his wife, he gave Bash no title or standing. It hurt him. And it hurt me to see it.
Mary: The eyes of the world are watching to see if we will... If I can bear an heir. Not just for France. For Scotland. And for England as well. I know this has nothing to do with the role you decide to have in your son's life…
Francis: Well, perhaps it should.
Mary: Those who are close to us... even here at court will know the truth. Your mother has guessed it already. Spend time with your son absolutely, but…
Francis: But don't claim him. Officially, you mean.
Mary: Yes.
Catherine: Thank you. I'm surprised to see you. My deepest sympathies for the loss of your son Eduard. Can I get you anything? Some lemonade?
Narcisse: I thought this castle would be the safest place for him. Why wasn't it?
Catherine: Bring us some whiskey.
Nostradamus: Lord Narcisse is here. Asking a lot of questions about his son's death. I explained that he showed symptoms of plague, high fever, rash.
Mary: You are good to cover for me. Lord Narcisse will never know. His son did die of plague. His body will tell the tale. Eduard m*rder an entire household to k*ll one foe. Since he cared so little for people, it's fitting that he died among the lowborn. I have asked much of you... not the least that you betray your very dangerous friend Catherine. She was mortified that she overreacted to her symptoms. She hates being vulnerable. But it is hard not to enjoy it. We tried to save lives. I owe you. And I will protect you.
Catherine: So many people died here. Nobles, servants alike. I was in my chambers when your son took ill. But Nostradamus, he...
Narcisse: Yes. I've already spoken with your court physician. A... a father can't help but wonder about his son's final days. I survived by fleeing to the country. I feel that I should've sent for him.
Catherine: There was nothing you could do.
Narcisse: : I need to go see him now. You do understand, don't you? (groans) When was this room sealed?
Guards: Two weeks ago, my lord.
Narcisse: Most nobles died in their chambers. Were many nobles sent here by mistake?
Guards: Couldn't say, sir. It was a living hell. Do you see him?
Narcisse: Not yet. That is my son. Wrap him. Carefully. (moaning nearby) Who's there? This one is still alive.
Guards: How could anyone still be alive? He must be immune.
Man: Water.
Narcisse: That is my son. Were you with him? Did you see him die? We will get you some water and something to eat. And then you are going tell me all about what happened to my son. (laughter, clamoring)
Catherine: Ah, this is nothing compared to what we'll do for your coronation. But your safe return is cause for celebration.
Francis: It's nice to see some joy in this castle after so much grief. I hear you had a hand in our new chambers as well.
Catherine: One bedroom for husband and wife. Good luck to both of you with that. I thought Narcisse was leaving with his son's body. Why is he back with so many nobles?
Narcisse: King Francis.
Francis: Narcisse. My lords. I'm pleased to see you're all alive and well. In the wake of the plague, I will be calling on all of you to enforce my laws. Together you control vast regions of France. Some of you will be valued additions to my royal council.
Narcisse: Of course, King Francis. But we're here to ask something of you as well. Justice.
Francis: What's this about exactly?
Narcisse: My son Eduard... was m*rder. Here in your castle while you were away. By Nostradamus, the court physician. I don't know what grudge you held against my son.
Nostradamus: I had no argument with him.
Narcisse: Then why did you make false diagnosis?Why did you condemn him to death?
Francis: These are serious allegations.
Narcisse: My son was healthy when he was thrown in with servants riddled with plague. I know this because a witness, a survivor, has told me this tale. My son was deliberately infected.
Mary: I assure you, if a mistake was made, Nostradamus intended no harm.
Narcisse: Assure us all... your loyal nobility, that we are still safe under your rule. We who collect your coin, we who grow your food, we who provide your soldiers, we who uphold your laws. Hold the m*rder of my son accountable to these same laws. And show us that no life, especially one of our own, may be taken with impunity. (gasping, murmuring)
Francis: Take Nostradamus away for questioning.
Mary: Eduard m*rder an entire household... men, women and children. I did what I had to.
Francis: And Narcisse knows it was you who k*lled his son?
Mary: I was the one who forced Eduard into the plague room against his will. If there was a survivor, he would have witnessed everything.
Catherine: There was another survivor of your crimes, Mary. Me. You drugged me, didn't you? You were so adamant to stand up to the nobles, and I got sick just when you needed me out of the way.
Mary: I had to stop you.
Catherine: Oh, you wouldn't delve into my poisons without help. It was Nostradamus. Your actions spared no one, saved nothing and cost us all dearly. Narcisse wants the guards who brought his son to the catacombs ex*cuted as well.
Mary: We don't have to accede to his demands. You and Henry might have bowed to the nobles, but we won't.
Catherine: We kept the nobles happy. If they feel betrayed, they can rise up against you. I've seen revolts firsthand, a full-scale rebellion could mean the end of your reign.
Francis: I know that you want to do things differently, but I'm not sure that this is the time. The plague shortages have given too much power to Narcisse. The nobles follow him now, and they are watching our every move.
Mary: Then let them watch you, and that you be above reproach. This was my mistake and I'll fix it.
(indistinct conversation, hammer clinking) (horse whinnies)
Man: Whoa.
Leith: Oh... Lord Castleroy.
Castleroy: Wasn't this enough for you? A kitchen boy, given some of the best lands in the region. You had to have my daughter, too?
Leith: Lord Castleroy, I am so sorry. Yvette was kind and…
Castleroy: She was everything you told Greer you wanted. Rich and innocent and my daughter. How Greer would have suffered to see your rise, and what a close view she'd have had.
Leith: I can assure you that I didn't realize who she was until after we…
Castleroy: If my daughter had never met you, she would be alive!
Leith: I would never have hurt her.
Castleroy: I don't know that, and neither do you. Given the proximity you would have had to the woman I know you love.
Leith: Look, please, just... look, wait…
Greer: Leith, no! (Grunts)
Castleroy: Stay away from my family. Or I will destroy you.
Narcisse: Queen Mary. Where is your husband?
Mary: I would prefer it if we settled this matter privately. I think you know who's truly responsible for Eduard's death.
Narcisse: You are. But, as you are a queen, you're nearly untouchable. Nearly. But those that lied for you, I can reach easily enough. That is how I will punish you.
Mary: Your son was a monster. He asked me to m*rder his enemy, and when I refused, he poisoned an entire household.
Narcisse: Why didn't you arrest him?
Mary: I let my anger get the best of me. And my outrage.
Narcisse: Hand what of mine? He was my son! He was loyal and obedient and he had his whole life ahead of him. He was to marry an archduchess, gain one of the most prized farming regions in France…
Mary: He was to marry into land? He told me he was already married. That Voland had slept with his wife. Why did he really want Voland d*ad? You also said he was obedient. Was he following your orders? I am queen. You will answer my questions. Why did you want Voland d*ad? I command you!
Narcisse: No, you command nothing! I don't fear you, I don't fear your husband! Because without me, without the other nobles, your power disappears. We are the outside world, and we surround you. There is a consensus amongst the other nobles, given my son's station, that an example must be made. So when the dawn comes, Nostradamus and your guards will be drawn and quartered.
Mary: That is a horrific and agonizing death.
Narcisse: This is what they want. This is what will satisfy them. And you will learn never to cross me again.
Francis: My mother's been negotiating to spare Nostradamus, but it's no use. Narcisse wants retribution, and he has the nobles on his side.
Mary: m*rder innocent men to teach me a lesson. He's more wicked than his son.
Francis: Why didn't you wait? You could have had him arrested.
Mary: If I had, Narcisse would have pressured us to release him. We'd be in the same position we're in now with him trying to force your hand.
Francis: If his son were alive, Narcisse wouldn't be consumed with revenge. It was reckless, Mary.
Mary: I saw an entire family be m*rder. My rage took hold. It might not have been the best decision, but it was justified.
Francis: It was a choice that you made alone. What is it?
Mary: I know I told you to go to Lola, but then the plague came and you knowingly abandoned me to a nightmare. You are the king who deserted his castle, and I am the queen who was left behind, alone. Alone because of your mistakes. Out of all the people you could have slept with, did it have to be one of my ladies?One of my closest friends?
Francis: We can't afford to do this now.
Mary: If you bow to Narcisse now, you'll be doing it for the rest of your rule. What kind of king do you want to be?
Francis: I've been trying to figure out what kind of king I can be. Whether there is a way to stop this execution without destroying my relationship with some very powerful nobles.
Mary: If only we had something to leverage against Narcisse, we could force him to back down.
Francis: Conde suspects Narcisse of m*rder families to take their lands. I'll send my brother to the villages where he acquired property during the plague.
Mary: You're looking for evidence of m*rder. Something to blackmail him with.
Francis: Anything. What is it?
Mary: I believe Eduard was acting on his father's orders. I don't know why Narcisse wanted Voland d*ad, but I'm going to try and find out.
Francis: The execution is at dawn.
Mary: I promised Nostradamus my protection. One way or another, we have to find something.
Maid: These are Lord Voland's chambers.
Mary: Leave me. Thank you.
Lola: Mary.
Mary: Lola, what are you doing here?
Lola: Francis explained your situation with Narcisse. I wanted to help.
Mary: Francis shared that with you?
Lola: I was with Francis when we met Narcisse on the road. It gave me chills to see him here at court. I could see Francis was troubled and I asked him what was wrong.
Mary: When was this?
Lola: When he asked me how the baby was doing. Mary, I know our situation is painful…
Mary: And for you, too. Does he have a name yet?
Lola: I call him Robert, after my youngest brother. If Francis claims him, he may choose another name.
Mary: I suppose it would be best for you, if he did. You'd rise above speculation and gossip. You would both gain status and respect.
Lola: I just want to be with my child. The more time I spend with him, the less anything else seems to matter.
Mary: It's all right to take joy in being a mother. You don't have to hide that from me.
Lola: What is it?
Mary: It's from the privy council, to Lord Voland. "In response to your urgent request... "
Lola: It says Voland was desperately seeking an audience with the king before he died.
Mary: Well, you said you want to help. I need you to find out whatever you can about Voland's final hours. He wanted to tell Francis something... I need to know what it was.
Leith: It is you. When they announced that you were here, I, uh... I didn't believe it.
Greer: I feel as if I betrayed you. I didn't mean to tell Lord Castleroy what you said. What you said in anger. But at the time…
Leith: You thought it was true. That I would steal the heart of another just to wound yours.
Greer: I was upset when I saw you and Yvette together. I realized how jealous I sounded to Lord Castleroy, so I told him your words. As if it was just my concern for his daughter. I did it to protect myself.
Leith: You're good at that, aren't you?
Greer: Not really. I've poisoned everything. There's little but hate and mistrust between all of us. (sighs) I wish I could turn back time, but I can't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry and... I pray the day will come when I no longer regret that I loved you. Please don't blame yourself for Yvette's death. If I'd let you go to her…
Leith: Never tell your fiancé that. Let it be, Greer. What's done is done. Don't cause him any more pain. Let that be a vow that we both keep. You should go. Don't come back.
Sebastan: I'm investigating Lord Narcisse. I've heard many of the d*ad lost their lands to him.
Gravedigger: They were m*rder. He plucked the deeds to their lands from their stiff, cold fingers. Or so I'm told.
Sebastian: Do you have any proof?
Gravedigger: There's proof of m*rder, theirs and plenty of others, if you want to dig it up. It's all under there, buried with the rest of the unfortunates.
Sebastian: In the same mass grave with all the actual plague victims. Corpses came by the cartful, the sick and the m*rder. And once they're tossed in... who's going to ask questions? (sighs) Don't take it too hard, my lord. Same thing happens every plague. Justice suffers and dies with the rest of us.
Woman: Deesh-kin... aarin kir mograndee.
Sebastian: Who are you? Why are you doing that?
Woman: From the castle, now, are you? I am. I hear the nobles locked themselves in with cakes and fine wines, while we watched our loved ones rot and turn black before our eyes.
Sebastian: There were many deaths at court as well.
Woman: Bury them well, mind you. So many. Wickedly mistreated, not just in life, but in death. Do people really expect them to go?
Sebastian: What do you mean?
Woman: It's hard enough to get spirits to leave us, but now? There's a door between the d*ad and the living, and the plague kicked it down. And if the d*ad aren't guided through... the door stays open. The door is open. They'll get to us before you know it. There will be…
Sebastiab: A reckoning.
Mary: So we have no proof to use against Narcisse unless we want to dig up mass graves and release the plague?
Sebastian: If Narcisse is using the plague to cover his crimes, he's not the only one. Neighbours, Catholics, Protestants... they're k*lling each other. Even a cardinal's body was found in an alley with his throat slit.
Francis: A cardinal? Who?
Sebastian: Cardinal Morosini, k*lled for the gold in his vestments, they say. (Door closes)
Lola: I'm here to see Mary.
Mary: What did you find?
Lola: I spoke with a castle page. Before Lord Voland joined his family in their chambers, he insisted on taking confession. I had to bribe a few altar boys, but I got the priest's name. Father Lucien.
Mary: Where do we find this priest?
Francis: You look troubled, Brother. I know you call Nostradamus friend.
Sebastian: I do. And he's a friend we may need.
Francis: What do you mean?
Sebastian: He has certain skills . And I know that you don't believe in them or the occult. But something has changed out there. There's talk in the village that the d*ad are still with us.
Francis: People feel guilty for surviving. They t*rture themselves.
Sebastian: No, a guard heard screams of the dying from an empty room. Servants claim that old castle ghosts have returned. And a woman in the village claims that all this death and injustice has left a door open between this world and the next and some of the d*ad are on the wrong side of it.
Francis: Still here among the living?
Sebastian: And that they stay because they were treated wrongly. Either not given proper burial or cut down unjustly.
Francis: m*rder. What does this woman think the d*ad want?
Sebastian: The truth revealed.
Francis: You mean revenge.
Catherine: I loved Henry. But he was a terrible husband and a worse father. What kind of a father do you hope to be?
Francis: Nothing like him.
Catherine: Really? Then what will you do about Lola's child? Will you claim him?
Francis: I haven't decided.
Catherine: You must be worried he might be your only child. I'm speaking to you as a mother. As your mother. I can tell you that if you do not claim him, there will be a distance between you and that boy for the rest of your lives. He will never be king. But he might be your only chance at being a father. And I can promise you that raising him will be the singular joy of your life.
(door creaks)
Greer: Aloysius. I was just going to change and meet you downstairs.
Castleroy: Your servants said you went into town.
Greer: Yes, I bought some things for the children.
Castleroy: You were gone a long while.
♪ When it's all falling apart ♪
♪ I'll be the one... ♪
Greer: I went to see Leith. I know you are in pain, but there's no need for such animosity. Leith is racked with guilt. I am, too. You must know I'm loyal to you.
♪ And you can't find the spark... ♪
Castleroy: I have been wondering about your loyalty of late. Leith's vow…
Greer: Was said... in the moment, in anger. I chose you.
Castleroy: You chose the life I could give you.
Greer: I chose you, and you chose me knowing that I'd loved another, that I had done ruinous things for that love. You knew that about me.
Castleroy: I didn't know how it would feel.
♪ It's all gone... ♪
Castleroy: I have business that will take me away for some time.
Greer: How long?
Castleroy: I don't know. I'll be seeing my younger children as well. I need to be the one to tell them that their sister is d*ad.
Greer: Will you be back?
Castleroy: I don't know.
♪ Together ♪
♪ I'll be there. ♪
Father: I'm not afraid of breaking my vows, Queen Mary. What I do fear is Lord Narcisse.
Mary: I will stand against him. Father, I made a mistake a few weeks ago, and now innocent men could pay for it with their lives. Whatever Voland told you could save them. Please help me.
(crickets chirping)
Father: Lord Voland worked with Narcisse. They collected money for the Vatican, but greed interfered, and they kept some of the Church's gold for themselves. Cardinal Morosini discovered their crime.
Mary: Cardinal Morosini? He was found d*ad in a neighboring village.
Father: Protestants were blamed but never identified. I know the truth. It was Narcisse and Voland who k*lled him. Voland's heart filled with remorse. Narcisse knew his resolve was weakening, so before Voland could confess to your king or to the Church…
Mary: He had him k*lled. Along with his entire family. (sighs) You understand we could destroy Narcisse with this. The Vatican would strip him of his power. You must testify to the king and to the assembled nobles at court.
Father: But what I've told you I can never repeat. I'm just a lowly priest; Narcisse has people everywhere. I'd be d*ad in the blink of an eye.
Mary: He k*lled a cardinal! I could compel you.
Father: For information taken in holy confession? The Vatican itself can't hear it. It doesn't exist.
Narcisse: I know that your wife…
Francis: She is your queen.
Narcisse: I know that your queen is working against me to stop the execution. She doesn't value my friendship, but you should.
Francis: Because you are a true friend to the Crown.
Narcisse: Hmm. You don't like me, but you need me. My lands feed your people, your court. I kept Henry afloat long after his wars plunged France into debt.
Francis: I am aware of the Crown's debts.
Narcisse: But not how in debt it is to me.
Louis: I heard about the execution. If Lord Narcisse demanded it, those men are certainly innocent.
Narcisse: Careful of your accusations. I could make some of my own.
Louis: You've made them to others; you can make them to me.
Narcisse: I believe this man to be a secret Protestant, a radical, practicing the faith of your enemies in England and Germany.
Francis: Is this true?
Louis: No. I am a Catholic and a Frenchman. But I believe France should be ruled by you, not by blood money from Rome. The Vatican is corrupt... they're betraying their faith by allowing the strong to prey on the weak.
Narcisse: You've proved my case for me. He is a radical. A Catholic who hates the Catholic Church.
Louis: I hate any man that hides behind God while they m*rder and steal. Men like Narcisse, protected by the Church and the Crown. Your father built his power by giving the nobles what they wanted. If he were here now, he would let those men die.
Narcisse: And what do you expect him to do, risk disenfranchising the nobles he depends on?
Louis: Well, maybe it's time we change things, shift the power back to where it belongs, with you, our king. You're unsure of who to trust.
Francis: Yes, I am.
Louis: Then trust no one but yourself. Trust your sense of what is right and what is wrong. Because when the dawn comes and those men are let outside, you'll have to decide what kind of king you want to be.
(birds chirping)
(sighs)
Catherine: Have they hurt you?
(door closes)
Nostradamus: They're going to lead me out soon. For last rites. Are you going to share your plan with me?
Catherine: I'm afraid there is no plan, my old friend. I'm so sorry. But I shall make sure you are remembered. All your works will be published. I will have sonnets written... and... a statue built in Paris.
Nostradamus: A statue? Mm. After all I've done for you!
Catherine: Do not blame me for the choices you have made! If you had stayed loyal to me, Eduard would still be alive, none of this would have happened. You... you brought this on yourself when you helped Mary. There is nothing I can do.
Nostradamus: You think you're untouchable... that your sins will stay buried, but they don't. Surely you realized that when you met your daughter.
Catherine: Clarissa? She's d*ad and buried now. Mary k*lled her. You thought Clarissa's death fulfilled the prophecy. And that is why I supported Francis marrying... Is Clarissa alive? Tell me, Nostradamus. Have you seen her? Have you had another vision? Will Francis live beyond the death you once foresaw?
Nastradamus: Ask your statue.
Narcisse: Conde. Where are the royals?
Louis: I suppose they've chosen to look the other way. Someone must bear witness to this travesty. Innocent men shouldn't die alone. You won't die alone.
Mary: They're preparing for the drawing and quartering as we speak. We must do something.
Francis: We don't have any leverage against Narcisse.
Mary: We have the truth on our side and we have you. You are king. Doesn't that count for something?
Francis: Yeah, well, it's not enough, Mary. We need something that we can hold in our hands.
Mary: Well, perhaps Lord Voland kept a journal. Or wrote a letter. I have Lola looking now.
Francis: We're out of time.
Mary: I can't let these men die for my mistake.
Narcisse: Do you know why they wrap the bindings all up the arms and legs? For a good, clean break. I've seen it done the other way, too, bonds at the wrists and ankles taking off just the hands and feet. You bleed to death as the one horse takes the lead and drags you behind. Which do you think will be more painful? Your death or my son's?
Nostradamus: I've seen your death. You'll suffer, too.
Narcisse: And I have seen the suffering on every inch of my son's corpse. I will think of him as you die. You do the same.
(shouting) (horse neighs) (shouting) (horse neighs)
Guard: On my signal, spur your horses!
Mary: No, stop! Riders, dismount. Rein in your horses. Now.
Narcisse: Even a queen needs grounds.
Mary: Unbind him. (whimpering) There will be no execution today.
Narcisse: You have just lost France for you and your king. When the nobles hear of this...
Mary: I found Lord Voland's confession. Handwritten before his death.
Narcisse: What are you talking about?
Mary: He wrote it all down how you both stole from the Vatican and then m*rder the cardinal before he could inform on you. Voland's remorse that followed, his need to clear his accounts with God, and his fear that you would silence him before he could. His confession is in the hands of a messenger headed to your friends in Rome as we speak to reassure the Vatican that no life, especially one of their own, can be taken with impunity.
Francis: Mary. I will handle this.
Mary: But I have proof.
Francis: Not anymore.
Mary: My letters. You intercepted my riders. Why? You don't have to bow to him.
Francis: Mary, leave us. You, too, Conde.
Mary: I am your queen. You owe me an explanation. You owe France and your subjects a just rule.
Francis: Go to our chambers, where private discussions between husbands and wives should take place.
Mary: I am not just your wife.
Francis: You are not king either. Leave us now.
Narcisse: I always thought you should have married a common girl, like your father. Rich, of course, but without a title she felt obligated to club people with.
Francis: I don't like you.
Narcisse: I don't care. You need me. I'm glad that you've realized that. Lord Voland's seal.
Francis: I stopped the riders because I understand that we need each other. Nostradamus is a favorite of my mother's, and none of these men really caused your son's death. You will free them as a favor to me.
Narcisse: That might be difficult to explain to the nobles.
Francis: You riled them into a frenzy on your behalf. Now tell them you are satisfied. Manage them, and I will manage my wife.
Narcisse: There will need to be some satisfaction, if you want all of this to go away.
Francis: No more bloodshed.
Narcisse: Land. Of my choosing. (bell tolling in distance) Nostradamus and the guards have been freed. You were brilliant.
Mary: And he didn't ask to see the contents of the letters?
Francis: I b*rned them before he could see they were forged. We have Narcisse at bay, but…
Mary: Well, what is it? What's wrong?
Francis: I had to give him something else as well.
(horse neighs)
Narcisse: This is very fine land.
Leith: Who are you?
Narcisse: It's a rare parcel. Undamaged by f*re. Still producing. And all that separates two larger parcels of mine. The king has deeded this land to me.
Leith: That's impossible. Why would he take it away?
Narcisse: Ask King Francis yourself. He's requested your presence at court.
Leith: At court? But I can't go there.
Narcisse: You can. And you will.
Francis: I don't know what's changed your mind. You were right before; a politician is a liar's job. Even today I had to betray a friend to save lives.
Sebastian: Well, this job is different. Enforcing the laws, keeping the peace beyond the castle walls. My wife tells me that in Scotland they call this the king's deputy.
Francis: Ah.
Sebastian: The realm is growing unstable. You need someone out there you can actually trust. Why are you kneeling?
Sebastian: You're the king, and I'm nothing. Until you make me something.
Francis: Don't say that. You're my brother.
Sebastian: Then give me the job already. Do it up properly. Use my sword.
Francis: Very well. Sebastian, I hereby appoint you the king's deputy, with all rights and apportionments so accruing.
Mary: Nostradamus, you're too injured to ride.
Nostradamus: I have to. What will you tell Catherine?
Mary: That you had another vision. Of a better life. God willing. (baby gurgles)
Francis: Mary?Why did you ask me to the nursery?
Mary: Your father was King Henry II of the House of Valois. You are Francis II, the king of France. I'm Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots. Whatever happens to us while we live and when we are long gone, nothing can change that or take it away.
Francis: I don't understand.
Mary: The world is a cruel place. And it's cruelest to the weak. They are bullied and sacrificed, mocked and m*rder and they die in agony.
Francis: Mary, why are you talking…
Mary: Give him your name. Give your baby your name.
Francis: Not even my name can make him safe.
Mary: No, but it can make him safer.
Francis: Mary...
Mary: If you think I don't know the risks, I do. But if I don't want to end up like Catherine, I can't push this child away like she did with Bash. I have to open my heart. So... ... do right by him, with my blessing, and claim him as your own. And our marriage will be stronger for it.
(baby gurgling)
(door opens)
Francis: I'm never sure that I'm holding him right.
Nurse: Oh, I could show you. Support his head, like so. See? I remember holding you in my arms when you were this little.
Francis: I beg your pardon?
Nurse: When I gave you life, I thought it was the greatest thing I'd ever done. All the treaties I'd made, all the wars and the whores were nothing compared to that.
Francis: Who are you talking to?
Nurse: Don't you recognize your own father? Usurper. (gasps)
Francis: What did you just say?
Nurse: Did I say something, Your Grace?
Francis: You don't remember?
(baby crying)
Nurse: Remember what? | {"type": "series", "show": "Reign", "episode": "02x02 - Drawn and Quartered"} | foreverdreaming |
Pilot
Episode: 1
1st Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA79
Written by: Jason Katims
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 6, 1999
[Liz is sitting outside, it's dark. She's writing in her journal]
Voice-Over: September 23rd. Journal entry one. I'm Liz Parker and five days ago I died. After that, things got really weird....
[Flashback to the day of the sh**ting...Liz and Maria are waiting tables.]
[Liz walks to the two tourists with their order]
Liz: Okay, I have got one Sigourney Weaver, that's for you. And one Will Smith. Can I get you guys anything else? Green Martian Shake? Blood of Alien smoothie??
Larry (Tourist #1): No, thanks. We're good.
Liz: Are you guys here for the crash festival?
Jennifer (Tourist #2): Yea, can't wait. So...does your family come from Roswell??
Liz: Just four generations.
Larry (Tourist #1): Uh, well, does anyone in your family have stories about the UFO crash?
Liz: Well, I guess it would be O.K. to show you guys this....
[Liz shows them to fake alien picture while Maria walks past with a coffee pot and shakes her head smiling.]
[Maria walks to a table with two men arguing]
Maria: Refill?
Guy #1: No, get outta here.
Liz: My grandmother took this picture at the crash sight RIGHT before the government cleaned it up.
Jennifer (Tourist #2): Do people know about this photograph?
Liz: Well, I know about it, and now you know about it.
Jennifer (Tourist #2): Woah!
Jennifer (Tourist #2): Wow!!
Liz: I'm gonna be right back, don't show that to anyone.
Jennifer (Tourist #2): No....
[Liz and Maria are walking back to the cash register together]
Maria: You are sooo bad girl. Oh, and Max Evans is staring at you again.
Liz: No way.
Liz: Maria, that is so in your imagination.
[Liz looks at Max who is sitting at a booth with Michael at the far end of the restaurant. He looks at her and then quickly away.]
Liz: Max Evans? This? No, un uh..it's not...
Maria: And with those cheeks ?????????.
Liz: Maria!!
Liz: And, and even if it weren't I'm going out with Kyle. I mean, he's steady and loyal, and he appreciates me.
Maria: Sounds like you're describing a poodle.
Guy #1: .....you ask me to give you another day!!?? You're running outta time.
[Guy knocks all the dishes off the table and they break]
Maria: Liz!!
Guy #1: I want the money today. NOT tomorrow!!
[GUY #2 pulls a g*n, there is a struggle, everyone drops to the floor except Liz, the g*n goes off and Liz falls to the floor, the guys run off]
Maria: Liz......
[Max looks over at Liz laying on the floor and gets up to help her. Michael stops him]
Max: What are you doing? Let go of me.
Michael: Max, what are you gonna do?
Max: [To Maria] Call an ambulance.
[Max tears Liz's dress open, you can see the growing blood stain]
Max: Uhh...it's gonna be OK.
Jennifer (Tourist #2): Oh my god!!
Michael: Hey, get back!!
Max: Liz, LIZ! You have to look at me. You have to look at me.
[Liz weakly looks at him, and he puts his hand over the b*llet wound, we see images of Liz as a child, Max sighs and when he takes his hand away, the wound is healed]
Max: You're all right now. You're all right.
Michael: Keys! Now!!
[Max throws him the keys and breaks a ketchup bottle and pours the ketchup over her]
Max: You broke a bottle when you fell, spilled ketchup on yourself. Don't say anything please.
Maria: Are you okay?
[Opening credits]
Mr. (Geoffrey) Parker: Lizzie. Oh my God!!
Liz: No, dad, dad look, look at this. See, I'm fine, I-I just spilled ketchup, I'm really, I'm okay.
Mr. Parker: Are you sure?
Liz: yea.
Maria: The guy with the g*n was kind of like a, like a muscular Beavis. And...the other one was like a, like a beefy Butthead.
Deputy: I'm gonna need a better description then that. I'm assuming they weren't actually cartoons.
Maria: Excuse me.
[Maria starts to sniff her oil and Valenti comes in and gives her a look]
Maria: Cypress Oil, it um, it reduces stress.
Sheriff Valenti: [To Liz] You okay?
Liz: Yea thanks. I-I'm just a little shaken up.
Deputy: Sheriff, the suspects ran out just after the incident occurred. Couple of outsiders. No apparent robbery, no injuries other than the girl that fell. Just seems like an argument that got outta hand.
[The two tourists are nosing around the back.]
Deputy: Hey, I told you two to stay outta there! [To Valenti] Couple of tourists in town for the crash.
Larry (Tourist #1): Uh, Sheriff, hi, um, um, I'm sorry, I really need to talk to you. I think something happened here.
Valenti: What do you think happened?
Larry (Tourist #1): The g*n was, was, was standing right over there, right? And the sh*t was fired into this direction. Now, Jen and I, we searched this entire place up and down and...I mean there's, where's the b*llet?
Deputy: We haven't found a b*llet hole yet sheriff.
Larry (Tourist #1): Yea, and uh, sheriff. Before it happened, the girl gave me this.
[He hands Valenti the fake alien photo]
[Valenti gives it to Mr. Parker]
Valenti: Jack. (John....not sure)
Mr. Parker: Lizzie!
Liz: yea?
Mr. Parker: I told you, about showing the alien photos to the tourists.
[Meanwhile Valenti walks over to the table where Max was sitting and sees two empty bottles of Tabasco sauce]
Jennifer (Tourist #2): There were two kids sitting over here when it happened, two boys about her age. And then one of them went--
Liz: Uh yea, that's right there were. You know that I didn't recognize them, so they must have just been tourists.
Larry (Tourist #1): No, no it sure looked like that she knew them to me.
[Later that night Liz is home, she takes off her uniform and puts in it a bookbag. She goes over to her mirror and sees a funny silver handprint on her stomach where Max healed her]
[The next day in Biology class]
Teacher: Okay, we've spent the last week talking about Geneis and phylum, and now we're going to get a little more specific and talk about the difference between species. For today's experiment you'll be working in teams of two.
[Max walks in late and sits beside Liz, he sticks a pencil in his mouth and starts flipping through his books]
Teacher: Mr. Evans, so nice of you to join us. Okay, everyone on the right prepare a slide with the vegetable sampling, everyone on the left, take a toothpick and get a sample from your cheek.
[Max takes the pencil out and asks for a bathroom pass, visibly uncomfortable]
Teacher: Mr. Evans?
Max: Could I get a bathroom pass?
Teacher: High maintenance today aren't we?
[She hands Liz a toothpick, who takes it and makes a cheek sample]
Teacher: It's very easy to look on the outside and say what differentiates humans from other species. But what about what's on the inside, everyone, look at the human cells and describe everything you see on your lab sheet.
[Liz looks at her cheek cells, then she makes a cheek cell slide from samples off his pencil. His cells look nothing like hers.]
[In the hall]
Liz: Max! Max!! Excuse me, excuse me. Max, I have to talk to you.
[She grabs his arm and pulls him into the band room]
[Kyle is beating on the drums in there]
Liz: Kyle!
Kyle: Hey!
Liz: Hey!
Kyle: Hey Max.
Max: Hey.
Kyle: So'd you get my message?
Liz: Oh yea, I did. I was uh, just a little....
Kyle: Shaken up.
Liz: That's what I was.
Kyle: I know, my dad told me about the g*n goin' off. You okay?
Liz: Oh, yea I am, it was just load and then it was over.
Kyle: So you guys are...??
Liz: Um, we're looking for a place...to study, for our Bio midterm.
Kyle: Oh right. Right okay, Biology. All right, I was leavin' anyway.
Liz: Great, um, that's good.
Kyle: Oh, I got my costume for the crash this Friday it's great--
Liz: Kyle. We've gotta study. Sorry.
Kyle: Right. See ya Max.
Max: So...you're going out with the Sheriff's son?
Liz: Um, yea. Well, it's kind of like this, this casual...okay, Max. Can we just focus here for one minute please?
[She lifts her shirt and shows him the mark on her stomach]
Max: Wow.
Liz: Um, I-I scraped some cells from your pencil. This is really hard to say, I'm trying to keep from blacking out here. Um, the cells weren't normal. So, Max, what I'm going to suggest to you is that we just go back to the bio lab now, so that I can take a sample so that I can see what I'm thinking is wrong, you know? That I got the wrong cells...
Max: You didn't.
Liz: Okay, um. So help me out here Max. I mean, what are you?
Max: Well I'm not from around here.
Liz: Where you from?
[Max points up with his index finger]
Liz: Up north?
[Max points higher]
Liz: You're not an, an alien, I mean. Are you?
Max: Well I prefer the term not of this earth. Sorry, it's not a good time to joke.
Max: Yea, I am. Wow, it's weird to actually say it.
[Liz starts to leave]
Max: Liz....
Liz: Um, Max, you know, I have, I'm gonna be late for my US Government class, so I'm just gonna--
[Max stops her at the door.]
Max: Liz, listen to me. You can't talk to anyone about this. Not your parents, not Maria. No one. You don't understand what'll happen if you do. Liz please? Now my life is in your hands.
[Liz leaves.]
[In the cafeteria]
Alex: Well, it says right here that sh*ts were fired but no one was injured.
Maria: Then where's Liz?? I mean, why is she avoiding me?? Okay, first of all, Liz is never late right? She walks into homeroom today, and goes and sits next to Pam Troy. She like, hates Pam Troy and you know like, goes around admitting it openly...and...Alex are you listening to me??
Alex: Yea, yea, Maria I'm listening to you. But this is just you being you. All right? Liz is fine, nothing happened it's all right here in black and white.
[Isabel, Michael and Max are having lunch together]
Isabel: I can't believe this Max. You know, I finally feel like I have a quasi-normal existence and you go and blow it all with one random act of lunacy. [To Michael] How did you let my misguided brother do this?
Michael: Hey don't turn this around on me. I'm not the one who thinks he's a super hero.
Max: Look, I said I was sorry.
Isabel: You're sorry? You break a sacred pact and that's all you have to say? It's against the rules Max, the rules we made!
Max: You use your powers all the time.
Isabel: Recreationally.
[She heats her taco with her hand]
Isabel: The important thing is, to contain this. We just have to figure out what to say to Miss Scientist.
[Max looks guilty]
Isabel: Oh my God, you told her.
Max: I didn't have a choice. It's gonna be okay.
Isabel: Don't you realize that everything has changed.
Max: No, it hasn't.
Michael: Max, she's right, we're screwed. It's time to leave Roswell.
[He gets up and the others follow him]
Max: Michael, we can't just leave.
Michael: Yea we can. We've always known this day would come. We said when it did we'd be prepared.
Isabel: Michael, where are we gonna go. You know Roswell's home.
[They get in the jeep.]
Michael: Roswell's not home. It's not even in our solar system.
Max: Well this is the closest thing we have to home right now.
Michael: For you two maybe, it was you the Evans found on the side of the road not me. They're like real parents to you. My foster dad just keeps me around for the monthly check.
Max: This is gonna be OK. We should just lay low. Go back to school and act normal.
Isabel: Act normal? That's your big plan Max? Don't you realize it's only a matter of time before they find us and turn us over to some government agency where they're gonna test us and prod us, and, oh yea, exterminate us.
[Max pulls out and they leave]
[In a school bathroom]
[Liz walks into the bathroom and splashes water on her face, Maria comes out of a stall.]
Liz: Hey.
Maria: So I called like, 37 times.
Liz: I know, I'm sorry.
Maria: Liz, what happened?
Liz: What do you mean Maria? You were there, you saw everything?
Maria: Did I? Cause um, this isn't ketchup. [She holds out the order pad] This looks a lot like blood to me. What did Max do to you?
[Liz dries her hands and doesn't answer]
[In the jeep, Isabel, Isabel is sitting in the back listening to a CD by holding it up the her ear]
Max: Isabel, could you please not do that?
Isabel: Yea, like listening to a CD is the problem.
Max: I couldn't just let her die.
[Valenti comes up behind them and turns his flashers on]
Isabel: Is he pulling us over?
Michael: Max go, let's get outta here.
Max: We can't start acting guilty.
[He pulls to the side of the road.]
Max: He always pulls kids over he does it all the time. It's nothing.
Michael: Yea, nuthin'.
[Valenti walks over]
Valenti: Your license and registration please.
Max: Of course officer.
[He hands them to him.]
Valenti: Thank you Mr. Evans. We had a little trouble at the Crashdown Cafe yesterday. You kids be careful out there.
Max: Yes sir.
[Max moves his foot to the gas pedal and hits a half empty bottle of Tabasco sauce. Valenti sees it.]
Valenti: Watch your speed. Arrive alive.
Max: We will.
[Max goes to start the jeep, but Michael grabs the keys.]
Max: Michael, everything is gonna be okay.
Michael: No it won't. Our cover is blown. And I'm not gonna hang around and wait for them to catch us.
Max: No one is caught yet. I mean, we don't even know if there is a ''them''.
Michael: What happened to our parents?? What happened to everybody else on the ship? They were k*lled, and you know that.
Max: Liz won't tell anyone, she's different.
Michael: Really? So how'd she react when you told her? 'Great you're an alien that's fantastic.'
[Max looks away.]
Michael: No, I didn't think so.
[He throws the key on the seat.]
Isabel: Thought I was pissed.
[Liz and Kyle are walking to her door.]
Liz: Well, goodnight.
Kyle: Oh right, right. Listen Liz, you've, you've been somewhere else all night.
Liz: I know, I'm sorry. Kyle, do you ever wonder if....
Kyle: Do I ever wonder what?
Liz: When you see me, do you, do you feel things.
Kyle: Yes, of course. I feel things. Like what?
Liz: Forget it, I don't know what I was talking about. I'm just gonna go get some sleep.
Kyle: All right.
[Liz reaches up to turn off a light and Kyle can see the handprint.]
Kyle: Liz?
[She quickly pulls the shirt down]
Liz: Good night Kyle.
Kyle: Goodnight Liz.
[Liz is on the roof.]
Max: Liz!!
[She walks to the edge and looks over]
Max: I have to talk to you.
[She lets him in.]
Max: I can't imagine how you must feel right now, I mean, I've thought about telling you a thousand times.
Liz: You have, me??
[Max smiles]
Liz: What?
Max: Sorry, I just , uh, I just keep picturing you in that dress, with the, uh, the cupcakes.....on it.
Liz: What?
Max: Forget it, it was a long time ago.
Liz: Oh my God. That's, that's right. I can't believe I actually wore that thing!!
Liz: I had that dress in kindergarten, I didn't know you until the third grade. Did you like, read my mind or something?
Max: No, I-I don't read minds. When I healed you, I made this, this , I don't know, this connection. And I got this rush of images.... An image of that dress flashed into my mind, and , I knew how you felt about it.
Liz: How did I feel about it??
Max: It was the single supreme embarrassment of your life. But your Mom made it for you, she was so proud of it, she'd never made a dress before, so you wore it. For her sake.
[Liz nods in shock]
Max: I've never tried this before, but maybe I can make the connection go the other way. So you can see, you know that, that I'm still me.
[He advances until he's in front of her]
Max: I have to touch you.
[Liz nods.]
[Max puts his hands on both side of her head]
Max: Now just take deep breaths and try to let your mind blank out.
[Liz gets a rush of images, Max and Isabel walking down the road and the Evans finding them, Max on the first day, and how he sees her. In the halls at school talking to Maria, and since they were in third grade]
Voice-Over: I could feel everything he was feeling. I could feel his loneliness. For the first time I was really seeing Max Evans, I saw me as he saw me, and the amazing thing was, in his eyes, I was beautiful.
[Max pulls away]
Max: Did it work?
[Liz nods and Max looks at her embarrassed.]
[Liz is watching Max walk down the hall]
Voice-Over: Max Evans has put a force on me. It's like my whole life changed in an instant. It's just so ironic that when something like this finally happened to me, it was with an alien.
[Liz is in the band room]
Alex: Hey.
Liz: Oh, hey Alex. Have you seen my bookbag anywhere?
Alex: No, I haven't. Can I talk to you for a second?
Liz: Yea, what's up??
Alex: Well, I'm you're friend, and I'm Maria's friend to, so if you lie to Maria, it's sort of like lying to me.
Liz: Alex, what did Maria say to you?
Alex: Well, frankly it's vague. I mean, everything needs to be put through the Maria filter. But, she said something about how she found blood on your order book. What's going on?
Liz: Alex, Maria is a total drama queen. You know that. Nothing is going on.
Alex: O-ok, well look. All I care about is that you're OK. So you're you are right, you're okay?
Liz: I'm OK.
Alex: All right.
Liz: Okay.
Alex: And whatever happened is ... over now??
Liz: It is totally over.
Alex: Okay.
Liz: Okay.
[Principal and Deputy walk in]
Principal: There she is.
Deputy: Ms. Parker, the Sheriff needs to ask you some questions.
[In the sheriff's office, Liz is sitting in front of the sheriff's desk.]
[Valenti walks in]
Valenti: Afternoon Ms. Parker. Your father said it would be all right if I talked to you. I'm sorry to have to show you these.
[He shows her some pictures of a d*ad body with the handprint.]
Valenti: This man was found d*ad, no apparent cause of death. Except that. What do you make of that mark??
Liz: I have never seen anything like that before.
Valenti: Kyle said he saw a similar mark on your stomach.
Liz: He was wrong.
Valenti: I'm sure, Kyle's got a pretty wild imagination. I'm gonna need to see for myself Liz.
Liz: Come on sheriff, I mean, I told you that I spilled ketchup, and I, I said that like, a thousand times.
Valenti: Liz, please?
[She stands and pulls her shirt up to show him the mark. It's gone.]
Valenti: The mark faded on the corpse too. What do you know about a kid named Max Evans?
Liz: Max Evans??
Valenti: Mmmm Hmmm..
Liz: Um....I don't really know him all that well.
Valenti: Was he one of the kids at the CrashDown that day?
Liz: No.
Valenti: I see.
Liz: Can I go home now sheriff??
[Valenti puts the same bookbag on top of his desk that Liz had earlier put the dress with the b*llet hole in.]
Valenti: Just one more thing. Somebody turned in this bookbag, it is your isn't it??
[Max is at wrestling practice in the gym. Liz stops to see him]
[Meanwhile, Valenti is talking to the government agent he has called in to help investigate this case.]
Valenti: A sh*t was fired, there's a b*llet hole in the dress. I'm telling you, the girl was sh*t.
[The Agent stands and puts the outfit in his briefcase]
Valenti: What are you doing?
Agent: I have a flying saucer sighting in Phoenix. An accountant in Barstow who thinks he's Jesus. Both cases are more solid then this. Have this checked out at the lab, call me sheriff, if you ever have anything...real.
Valenti: Listen, you guys told me to call you if I saw anything. Well, my son saw that handprint.
Agent: I'm sure he did.
Valenti: What happens now??
Agent: Have the lab check out the dress. I'm gonna handle this case in the proper manner without getting to personal. I suggest you do the same.
Valenti: I'm not walkin' away from this. I'm gonna be a part of this investigation.
Agent: Sheriff, do you know what everyone used to call your father?? Sergeant Martian. You don't wanna end up like him.
Valenti: Agent Stevens, I was 8 years old when my father discovered that corpse, my whole life I thought he was as crazy as everyone else did. Crazy to believe. Now I'm not so sure.
Agent: Thank you Sheriff. Your work is done now, we'll take it from here.
[Max and Liz have went into the art room to talk.]
Liz: I need to know the truth Max. I need to know, everything. Or I'll - I'm just gonna go to Valenti and I'm gonna tell him everything I know.
Max: Okay.
Liz: Okay.
[She takes a piece of paper with her questions written on it out of her pocket.]
Liz: Okay. All right. Here we go. Where did you come from?
Max: I don't know. When the ship crashed I wasn't born yet.
Liz: So there was a crash?
Max: All I know is it wasn't a weather balloon that fell that night.
Liz: The ship crashed in 1947 your 16?
Max: We were in some kind of incubation pods.
Liz: We?
Max: Isabel and Michael are also...uh...
Liz: Okay, well, that, answers, um, that question. Um, what powers do you have?
Max: We can connect with people, as uh, you know. We can manipulate molecular structures, and...we can....
Liz: Wait, what does that mean?
[Max goes to a clay sculpture on a nearby table and moves his hand in front of it, the shape changes]
Max: That's, uh, that's how I healed you.
Liz: Max, who else knows this?
Max: No one.
Liz: What about your parents?
Max: We don't tell anyone. We sorta think our lives depend on it.
Liz: So when you healed me you risked all of this getting out didn't you?
Max: Yea.
Liz: Why??
Max: It was you.
[Liz smiles]
Liz: Um Max, Valenti showed me this photo of a corpse. A m*rder victim. It had the same silver handprint on it's chest.
Max: That can't be.
Liz: The photo was marked 1959.
Max: That's impossible.
Liz: Kyle saw the handprint on my stomach and Valenti found my waitress uniform with the b*llet hole in it. He just asked me if you were in the cafe during the sh**ting. Max, he suspects you.
[Max starts to leave.]
Liz: Max.
Max: I have to go.
Liz: Max wait, go where?? Where are you going? Max wait!! Max!!
[She runs out into the hall to stop him but loses him in a crowd of people who run by dressed for the festival.]
[Isabel is getting ready on her bed. Max opens the door.]
Max: Forget the festival. It's time to leave.
[Max and Isabel are waiting in the jeep for Michael, he hops in]
Isabel: Where's your stuff??
Michael: I'm wearin' it.
[Liz is on her bed studying, Maria comes in and gets in front of her, dressed for the crash]
Maria: Before I go to this idiotic crash festival I want to know everything. And if you don't tell me the truth right now. I'm going to go to Valenti myself and tell him everything I know.
Liz: What do you know?
Maria: Well....uh, I-I know that Max was in the diner that day, and I know that he went up to you when you were sh*t and like, did something to you. And I know that the one person in the world that I thought I could completely trust, is lying to me.
Liz: You have to promise me that you are not going to flip out.
Maria: Flip out? Hey, it's me.
[We see Maria running screaming from the cafe with Liz right behind her.]
Liz: Maria!!
[In the jeep]
Michael: So is this picture what we're seeing is there's more of us?
Max: One more, at least there was in 1959.
Michael: Well then there's hope. I mean if we can find him, he can tell us where we came from, what we are-
Isabel: Michael calm down, we had one potential relative 40 years ago, all we know about him is he was a potential k*ller.
[In Maria's car]
Maria: Liz, Liz what happened to you? You were on this whole like, valedictorian path. You were on your way to be like, this world renowned scientist and I was gonna be your wacky friend. I can't be a wacky friend to someone who's already whacky!! It'd be like repetitious....
Liz: Maria you're babbling.
Maria: I think I've earned the right to babble, all right so just deal with it.
[Max, Isabel, and Michael drive past]
Liz: Oh my God Maria that's them!! Cut a U-ie!
Maria: Cut a U-ie?
Liz: Maria!
Maria: Who are you? I mean.....
[Liz grabs the wheel and makes Maria do a U-turn in the middle of the road.]
Maria: Oh my God, you're a crazy person.
Liz: Maria I am not!! Please, just catch them!!
Maria: Catch them? Liz, we're in a Jetta.
[Max and clan see Valenti patrolling and hastily Max turns down a side alley, that is blocked by another car, but before they can back up, Maria pulls in, blocking the path with her car.]
Isabel: Great.
[Liz and Maria get out and start to walk towards them, Max, Isabel and Michael follow suit.]
Maria: What are they doing here? No, don't tell me there's three.
Liz: Well.....
Maria: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Liz: Maria knows.
Michael: Unbelievable.
Maria: Look, I promise I won't tell anyone.
[Michael advances on them and Maria backs up behind Liz]
Michael: Get your car out of the way, NOW.
Liz: I really don't think that you should try to leave. It's just gonna show people that you're guilty.
Michael: Guilty of what? Saving your life?
Max: Michael....
Liz: Look, I think I have an idea here. If we can just all work together here maybe we can throw Valenti off.
Michael: We're not together. Our lives are at stake, not yours. Now move your car.
Max: Michael, this can't last forever. This secret, and I don't want it to.
Liz: Look I can't change what happened. But if you run, Valenti is gonna know it's you. You'll be proving it for him.
Max: She's right.
Isabel: I should've known you'd side with her.
Max: Isabel I'm not on anyone's side all right.
Isabel: Get on a side Max because time is running out.
Max: She should move her car. I'm turning myself into Valenti.
Michael: Max we said we were leaving.
Isabel: Max I can't leave without you.
Isabel: What's your idea?
[Liz goes to Kyle's house.]
Kyle: I waited for you for an hour and a half.
Liz: Kyle, I know I've been acting like a real jerk and, I'm sorry. (gives him a cute innocent look)
[At the festival, Maria and Isabel are walking together, Alex passes.]
Isabel: Nice mask Alex.
Alex: Isabel, hey. Maria.
Maria: Hey.
Alex: Uh, nice cones.
[At Kyle's.]
Kyle: Liz we don't even have to go to the crash.
Liz: Kyle it is gonna be great okay.
[She kisses him]
Liz: I am gonna meet you in front of the podium in half an hour, right?
Kyle: Right. Half an hour.
Liz: Yea.
[She goes behind a tree and calls Max.]
[In the jeep, with Michael and Max]
Liz: We're got half an hour.
Max: Got it. Well....
Michael: It won't work.
[At the festival, Valenti and his deputy are looking for Max]
Valenti: Where is he?
Deputy: There. What did this kid do Jim?
Valenti: I'll take it from here Owen.
[Maria and Isabel in the parking lot]
Isabel: Come on roll!
Maria: OK, I'm rolling.
Isabel: Roll!!
Maria: I'm rolling!! Okay?
Isabel: Right that's better. Keys?
Maria: Okay, I know my mom's car doesn't look like much, but, not destroying it is the key to my and my mother's relationship okay?
Isabel: Whatever.
[Valenti approaches Max]
Valenti: I have some questions for you.
Max: What kind of questions?
Valenti: Where you at the CrashDown Cafe the day of the sh**ting?
Max: Yes.
Valenti: What did you do to Liz Parker?
Max: I didn't do anything to her.
Valenti: I don't believe that.
[He handcuffs Max]
Max: Aren't you going to read me my rights?
Valenti: Do you have any??
[Meanwhile, Liz bumps the two tourists from the cafe and they follow her. Isabel pretends to run over Maria with the car and runs off]
[Liz runs up]
Liz: Maria!
Alex: What's going on? What are you, what are you doing??
Valenti: What happened here??
[There is a silver handprint on her chest.]
Valenti: Are you okay?
Maria: Yea, I think so.
Deputy: There he goes. Sheriff, there he is. There's the guy that went up to her that's him.
Valenti: Watch the kid.
[Valenti follows him, the person in the same outfit he sees and goes up to is Kyle]
Kyle: Dad, scared the hell outta me. You seen Liz around? She was supposed to meet me here like 15 minutes ago.
Valenti: No.
Kyle: Mmmmmkay.
[Michael throws his outfit away in a port-a-pottie.]
[Valenti is questioning Max, he throws him against a portable trailer]
Valenti: You think you're a smart guy don't you?
Max: I don't know what you're talking about.
Valenti: Don't play games with me Mr. Evans, this is paint.
[He holds up the hand he touched the silver handprint on Maria with]
Valenti: You went up to Liz Parker in that cafe and you did something to her, and I need to know what it was.
Max: I had a hamburger, when the g*n went off I ran away. Did I break the law?? Sheriff are you arresting me??
Valenti: No, your parents would have you out in an hour. Let me tell you something. I'm gonna find out what the truth is. You can count on it. You're a real smart guy Max. Well, so am I.
[He walks off]
[Jonathan Frakes counts off the seconds to the crash]
Frakes: Is everybody ready!! 8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1. Blastoff! Yah!!
[The little spacecraft takes off and crashes, sending smoldering alien bodies all around.]
Frakes: YEA!!!!
[Isabel, Michael and Max all watch sullen]
[Max sees Liz and goes to talk to her]
Max: Hey.
Liz: Hey.
[Max walks up and pushes a stray piece of hair behind her ear]
Liz: Oh.
Max: You had a, uh....
Liz: Hair thing, right. Thanks.
Max: Sure. Liz, it's not safe. I mean, for you and , and me to....it's not safe.
Liz: I don't care.
Max: Liz I really, really wish that this could be something, you know, more. But it can't. We're just...
Liz: Different.
Max: Yea.
Max: I'll see ya at school.
Liz: Max??
Liz: I never got to thank you, for saving my life.
Max: Thank you.
Voice-Over: It's September 24th, I'm Liz Parker and five days ago I died. But then the really amazing thing happened. I came to life. | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x00 - The Pilot"} | foreverdreaming |
"The Morning After"
Episode: 2
2nd Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA01
Written by: Jason Katims
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 13, 1999
(Liz writing in diary)
Voice-Over: September 27. I'm Liz Parker and I will never look at the stars in the sky the same way again. I'll never look at anything the same way again. What did Max Evans mean when he said, "I'll see you in school?" Was it "I won't be able to breathe until we meet again" or was it just something someone says to, like, fill space? And what is he thinking right now? Is he also obsessed, tortured, going through one sleepless night to the next, wondering what's going to happen between us?
(Scene shows Max sound asleep, snoring until he hears a sound. He opens his eyes, grabs his flashlight and slowly gets up. The intruder that Max almost smacks with a flashlight turns out to be Michael.)
Michael: Hold it there! Don't…h*t me.
Max: Argument with Hank?
Michael: Couldn't sleep.
(Max lays out a sleeping bag for Michael and gets back into bed. When Michael shows no indication of wanting to sleep…)
Max: Hey, I was sleeping.
Michael: Amazing.
Max: What's amazing?
Michael: That you can sleep when the key to our entire existence is out there.
Max: Michael…
Michael: Max, listen… that picture Valenti showed Liz means there's someone else out there. Someone who was here in 1959. That means he was here when it crashed. He knows where we come from, he knows who we are, he knows why we're here. Maybe he knows how to get back.
Max: Michael, I know how you feel. Believe me, I want to know too. But the sheriff has that picture… so we'll never see it. I mean, that would be impossible, right? Michael?
[OPENING CREDITS]
(Michael is shown staking out the Sheriff's Station)
(Crashdown Café, in back. Maria and Liz are getting ready for work.)
Maria: … I mean, what do we even know about these people? Nothing. How do we know that they're not 3 feet tall, green, and slimy?
Liz: I guess we don't.
Maria: And you know what else doesn't, like, particularly please me? These powers. How do we know they can't just like wiggle their noses and poof us into oblivion?
Liz: I guess we don't.
Maria: OK, you're being like so casual about this, I want to choke you! Liz, we're dealing with alie-- (Liz claps her hand over Maria's mouth as another employee walks in.)
Liz: Can you please not say that word in public?
(Crashdown Café, in front)
Maria: The point is that we don't know anything about these… Czechoslovakians. Are they good Czechoslovakians? Bad Czechoslovakians? We don't know. Are they just random Czechoslovakians? For all we know, they don't have their… passports.
(Alex pops up from the front booth)
Alex: Who's Czechoslovakian?
Maria: Hey!
Liz: Hey!
Alex: Hey… so, who's Czechoslovakian?
(Simultaneously)
Liz: The new kid at school.
Maria: The guy at the hardware store.
Liz: The new kid at school who works at the hardware store.
Maria: Exactly.
Alex: Oh. What about him?
Liz and Maria: Nothing
Alex: Fantastic.
(Liz and Maria walk away)
Maria: Czechoslovakian, 9 o'clock.
(Michael is peering through the window, watching them.)
Maria: OK, that guy creeps me out.
(At school in Geometry class. LIZ is talking to a bunch of girls. MAX is sitting at his desk across the room.)
Liz: (voiceover as she glances over at Max) The thing about Czechoslovakians that you sorta have to factor in, is they have these incredibly soulful eyes.
Liz's Friend: OK, that is totally not Mr. Singer.
(Ms. Topolsky walks in. The bell rings.)
Topolsky: Hi. I'm Kathleen Topolsky. I'll be substituting for Mr. Singer who's out sick for a couple of days.
Max's Friend: I hope he's seriously ill.
Topolsky: So… the infamous Roswell, New Mexico. Before we get started, let me just ask: Does anyone here actually believe in aliens?
(Class laughs. MAX glances over at LIZ)
Topolsky: OK, let's take roll. Uh... Bartley.
Bartley: Here.
Topolsky: Collins.
Collins: Here
Topolsky: Evans.
Max: Here
Topolsky: Guerin… Michael Guerin? Is he here today? Does anyone know where Michael is?
(Everyone looks over at MAX)
Topolsky: Evans, right? Max Evans?
Max: Yeah?
Topolsky: Do you know where Michael Guerin is?
Max: Uh… Michael's not really into Geometry.
(Class laughs)
Topolsky: He's not into it. I guess I can understand that. Pretty uninspiring stuff. Let's open our books to page 228.
(After class, in the hallway)
Liz: Hi
Max: Hi. How's it going?
Liz: Good, um, you know, things are just… things are just normal, you know? Completely normal.
Max: Good.
Liz: Um, was that weird?
Max: What?
Liz: That substitute just asked all of those questions about Michael. What was that about?
Max: I'm sure she was just taking attendance.
Liz: Right.
Max: Liz, don't worry about it. No one's suspicious of Michael. It's me.
Liz: OK
(Isabel walks up)
Isabel: Hi Liz!
Liz: Hi.
Max: Hey Iz.
Isabel: (to Max) We should go.
(Isabel grabs Max's arm and they leave.)
(Police Station. Sheriff Valenti enters and notices a strange man sitting on a folding chair in the hallway.)
Agent Hart: Good morning!
Valenti: Good morning. (Walks over to deputy.) Who is that?
Deputy: FBI. Agent Hart.
Valenti: Who's he here to talk to?
Deputy: No one, as far as I can tell.
Valenti: Well, what's he doing here?
Deputy: Doesn't appear to be doing anything. He's just been sitting there since 7 am.
Valenti: Deputy Hansen, did you ask him what he's doing here?
Deputy: Yes sir, he said that he was here on assignment and that we should go about our business as usual.
Valenti: Oh, so your response to that was just… all right.
(Valenti walks over to agent)
Valenti: Agent Hart, I'm Sheriff Valenti. Can I see some identification, please?
Agent Hart: Sorry about the intrusion. I'm here on assignment, Sheriff. You should just go about business…
Valenti: As usual. Yeah, I heard. See, my problem with that is that having a federal agent sitting smack dab in the middle of my station house isn't exactly business as usual.
Agent Hart: My orders are to not leave this chair until I'm relieved.
Valenti: Uh-huh. Agent Hart, the FBI has no jurisdiction here. Now I'm going to ask you to please get up and leave. And take your folding chair with you.
(On the high school grounds. Liz and Maria are having lunch.)
Liz: It's impossible, right, that she's not who she says she is?
Maria: Well, no one is who they say they are. I mean, what do you mean exactly?
Liz: Forget it.
Maria: What, that she's a spy?
Liz: No, don't be ridiculous.
Maria: ‘Cause that kind of stuff happens, you know.
Liz: Now you're being crazy. C'mon, go on.
Maria: Well think about it. She takes attendance. What substitute teacher takes attendance? I mean, God, the whole thing is so Roswellian. I'm telling you Liz, she's been sent here.
Liz: Why would she be sent here?
Maria: To find the Czechoslovakians.
Liz: Sniff some cedar oil, Maria.
Maria: Which makes me feel that much more about what I already thought before you told me about this, which is that we should definitely, definitely, definitely tell Alex.
Liz: No. Look, Maria, we mustn't tell anyone... ever. Ever.
Maria: Mustn't? When have you ever said "mustn't"? Look, we need someone with a little perspective. OK, there's all this stuff happening, and it's dangerous. The other day the Sheriff asked me all these questions. And now we have this Topolsky person poking around. You know, that's what they do. They send special government task forces. Alien hunters. And suddenly, we're like, accessories to Czechoslovakians. We need Alex in on this.
(Liz points to Alex who is in another area of the quad talking to some girls and trying to impress them with this double-jointed arm trick he can do.)
Maria: Admittedly, he's not James Bond, but he's all we've got right now.
Alex: (to girls walking away, laughing) What, so now I'm a freak?
(Liz and Maria are at Liz's locker.)
Maria: Kyle Valenti, headed this way.
Liz: Like, in this general direction, or like, towards me?
Maria: Like, the latter.
Liz: Oh God.
Maria: What are you gonna say?
Liz: I don't even know if there's anything to say. I mean, I saw him over the summer, and it was casual. I'm sure now that we're back in school, he's just thinking of me as a summer fling.
Kyle: Liz!
Liz: Kyle!
Kyle: How's my girl?
Maria: (to Liz) See ya!
Liz: Hey.
Kyle: Hey. How's it going?
Liz: Good. You know, I'm just pretty loaded down with all this school stuff.
Kyle: Yeah I know. You take all that stuff pretty seriously.
Liz: Yeah.
Kyle: Right. Ok.
Liz: All right. (Turns to leave.)
Kyle: Listen Liz, I think it's important that we are honest with each other. I was talking with Tommy Hilligan, and he agrees with me. A person should be on time, Liz. I know we left things casual, and I understand that, but you did say that you would meet me at the Crash Festival. I just feel that if you care about a person, which I do, then you should be on time. The truth is if you were just some girl and you stiffed me like you did, I would walk in a second, but you're not--
(Liz notices Topolsky coming out of the Registrar's carrying a stack of files.)
Liz: Kyle, I really want to talk to you right now, I do, but it's just not a good time. I'm sorry, I gotta go. I'm sorry.
(Liz walks briskly through the halls to catch up with Topolsky and bumps into her, sending the files flying to the ground.)
Liz: Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about…
Topolsky: Parker, Liz
Liz: Yeah.
Topolsky: Photographic memory.
Liz: Wow, that's interesting. I've never met anyone with a photographic memory before.
Topolsky: Helps in my line of work.
Liz: Here, let me help you with that.
Topolsky: That's ok.
(Liz picks up an open file and sees Michael's picture attached to the file.)
(Liz goes to Michael's house at the trailer park.)
Liz: Hi, um, I'm looking for Michael. Guerin. Maybe I made a mistake.
Hank: Micky!
Michael: Let's go outside. C'mon. (outside) You're sure it was my records, it was definitely my records?
Liz: Yeah.
Michael: She asked about me in class?
Liz: Oh, well she was just taking attendance and so when you weren't there, she asked the class if anyone knew you.
Michael: So she's looking for me.
Liz: I don't know what's going on, Michael. I just thought I should tell you.
Michael: Thanks.
Liz: Sure.
Michael: Listen, if Hank insulted you or anything…
Liz: Oh no, no.
Michael: You kind of have to ignore him.
Liz: Sorry... to just show up here.
Michael: It's where I live. Thanks.
(Evening. Sheriff is on the phone in his office.)
Valenti: Yeah, I know it's late. But he sent an agent into my building. I think I've got a right to an immediate explanation… No, I won't call back… No, tomorrow is not acceptable… Yeah, I'm sorry about it too. Listen… No, excuse me… Hello? Hello?
(Valenti hangs up. He opens a locked file drawer and pulls out a file, which has the autopsy photographs of the corpse with a silver imprint on its chest. In the back of the file is a sealed envelope, which Valenti rips away and opens. Inside the envelope is a key. Valenti sticks the key in his thermos, stuffs the thermos into a paper bag, and places the bag inside his desk drawer. Valenti then leaves the police station.)
(Valenti drives past a mini-mart just as Michael walks out. Michael is carrying a big paper brown bag under one arm. He walks into the Sheriff's station, looks at the signs on the wall and starts to make his way to his designation. He is stopped by one of the deputies.)
Deputy Hansen: Can I help you?
Michael: Good evening, Deputy. I'm selling candies for charity.
Deputy Hansen: Charity?
Michael: Yeah, I'm on the committee to re-open Westlake Orphanage, Deputy… Hansen. You can be a part of helping to find homes for dozens of children in need. Single boxes are six dollars a piece, and I feel obliged to strongly recommend the peanut clusters. They are good.
Deputy Hansen: Well, I'm kind of trying to lay off the sweets right now.
Michael: Understood Deputy. If it's all right, I'll just take a look to see who else is around.
Deputy Hansen: There's nobody up that corridor.
Michael: Um, what if I came back tomorrow night?
Deputy Hansen: Well, it's usually pretty empty at night.
Michael: Well, thanks for your help, Deputy.
(Michael runs into another Deputy on his way out)
Deputy: What are you doing here?
Michael: I'm selling candies for charity.
Deputy: Not in here, you're not.
Michael: Yes sir.
(In the Evans' living room)
Isabel: Are you insane?!?
Michael: I didn't just wander in, all right? I had a cover story.
Max: And what was your cover story?
Michael: I was selling candies for charity. Peanut cluster?
Max: And they bought it?
Michael: No, they all seemed to be on a diet.
Isabel: Not the candy, Einstein, the story.
Michael: Yeah, they bought the story. Why are you wearing that?
Isabel: Because, Michael, I have a date…with a guy…that I like. In fact, I like my whole life here. In fact, I have a date next Friday that I'm hoping I won't have to miss because I'm running from the law.
Michael: You two, the point is this. That file has got to be in Valenti's office. All right? He leaves for the day at 7:30. There's no one else in the entire wing of the Sheriff's station. We go in, we find the file, we get the info, we put the file back--
Max: So how do we break in? Hypothetically.
Michael: The window. It's got a lock on it. Nothing you can't handle.
Max: Alarm system? (Looks at Isabel who is giving him a warning look.) Hypothetically.
Michael: Piece of cake. Even I could deactivate it.
Isabel: Max, don't humor him. I can't believe you're even considering this.
Max: I just want to know how feasible the plan is… Which it's not…feasible. It's not feasible, Michael.
Michael: This is what we've been waiting for our entire lives. I mean this is the first time we've ever had any clue that might tell us who we are. We don't have a choice.
(The Evans parents enter off screen.)
Mr. Evans: Hey!
Mrs. Evans: Anybody here?
Michael: And with government agents after us, we had better get our asses in gear, don't you think?
Max: Agents?
Isabel: What are you talking about?
Michael: Talk to Liz.
(Parents enter the living room.)
Mr. Evans: You guys hungry?
Mrs. Evans: Hey guys, we got pizza. (to Isabel) Hey honey, you look…pretty. (to Michael) Oh Michael… hi.
Michael: Hey, I was just leaving.
Mr. Evans: We got plenty of pizza.
Michael: My dad's cooking. Thanks.
Mrs. Evans: Well, I'm starved. C'mon guys. Plates, napkins, let's eat!
(In Geometry class)
Topolsky: And we know that the sum of A, B, and C equals 360 degrees.
Liz: (murmuring to herself) What is she talking about?
Topolsky: Ms. Parker?
Liz: 180.
Topolsky: I'm sorry?
Liz: It's a triangle. You know… the sum of the parts would be 180 degrees.
(Class laughs.)
Topolsky: Right. Right, of course. Equals 180 degrees.
(Max and Liz share a look.)
(After class in the hallway)
Max: …but she pulled other students' records.
Liz: Well, yeah, but the point is that she pulled Michael's.
Max: How many others were there?
Liz: I don't know, maybe 10.
Max: Well, 10's a lot.
Liz: OK it might have only been 5. I'm not sure how many there were.
Max: You can't just show up at Michael's and get him riled up like that. You don't know him. He's not big into "let's go over our options." He acts on things.
Liz: Look, I'm sorry, I just thought that Michael was in danger and that I'd better tell him.
Max: In danger of what?
Liz: I don't know. I have no idea. Look, I am just saying that if there is a spy among us, don't you think it behooves us to do something about it?
Max: Spy?
Liz: Well yeah.
Max: Liz…
Liz: No, Max, that sort of thing exists, doesn't it? There's like special branches of the government… alien hunters, you know, that sort of thing.
Max: So you think Ms. Topolsky is an alien hunter.
Liz: When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous.
Max: Liz, thank you, you know, for looking out for us. But we have to go on with life as it was before this happened. And we have to be careful now. All of us. You, too.
(Max is walking through the hallway and looks through a window. He sees Ms. Topolsky talking to Sheriff Valenti and another man. Max wonders if Liz might be right.)
(In the women's bathroom. Maria is reading a note from Max to Liz that says "Meet me in the 2nd Floor Eraser Room 6th Period, Max")
Maria: The Eraser room, huh? Liz, do you know what the 2nd floor eraser room means?
Liz: Of course I know what it means… What does it mean?
Maria: It's where Greg Coleman gave Marlene Garcia that hickey the size of a softball. It's where Richie Roher and Amanda Lourdes consummated everything…
Liz: OK, Maria, you know what? You're just making this into something it's not.
Maria: Liz, I don't think you should do this. OK? I mean, we don't know what can happen. I mean, the guy touched you and you saw into his soul. How do we know what happens if he kisses you? How do we know what it is to be kissed by a Czechoslovakian? You don't.
Liz: OK, Maria, no one is kissing anyone here. I mean, Max isn't even the least bit interested in me. You know, he said that things were just like they used to be before. Nothing's changed. He said that.
Maria: Oh my God, it's not just kissing that goes on in the Eraser Room.
Liz's Friend from Geometry: She's got that right.
Maria: The Eraser Room does two things: cleans erasers and takes our innocence. Do you know what I mean by "takes our innocence," Liz? The Eraser Room has taken some of the best of us.
(Valenti is sitting in his office. Agent Stevens walks in.)
Agent Stevens: Good afternoon, Sheriff.
Valenti: Agent Stevens. You don't write, you don't call. I'm sorry about kicking junior out of here the other day. He had no jurisdiction. No offense.
Agent Stevens: None taken.
Valenti: So, what'd you guys find on that waitress uniform?
Agent Stevens: Well several things actually, sheriff: tomatoes, salt, water, sugar, vinegar—ketchup, Sheriff, no blood. We've wasted enough tax-payer dollars to try to find something that isn't out there. No space ship landed here in 1947. No aliens are currently residing in Roswell, New Mexico. I've been given the authority by the governor to search the premises to remove any information pertaining to UFOs, alien sightings, and other alleged paranormal occurrences in this county. This thing is over, Sheriff. (To his men) Let's get on with it, guys.
Valenti: You found blood on the dress. Why else would you care enough to remove my files. Wouldn't that be a waste of tax-payer dollars?
Agent Hart: (to Agent Stevens about the file cabinet) It's locked.
Agent Stevens: (Reaching for the file cabinet key from Valenti) This won't take long. Thank you, Sheriff.
Valenti: (Taking his thermos with the key in it) Make yourself at home. I'm going to lunch.
(Using binoculars, Michael watches Valenti walking out of his office carrying his thermos.)
(Eraser Room)
Liz: So, um, this is the Eraser Room. I've never been here before.
Max: I just thought we should be somewhere private.
Liz: Right. (She locks the door.)
Max: You were right about Topolsky. She isn't who she appears to be.
Liz: Oh.
Max: She's been using this office. I thought we should find out why she's here.
Liz: Yeah.
Max: She has off 6th and 7th period, so we might be here a while.
(Outside police station, Michael watches as men remove files.)
(Eraser Room)
Liz: OK, I'm still confused. If you crash-landed in 1947, are you really 16 or are you like 52 in a 16-year-old's body? Or do you guys just age differently? I mean, is like 1 alien year equal to 3 human years?
Max: You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?
Liz: Kind of.
Max: Well, we know we came out of the pods in 1989. We just don't know how long we were there. When we came out we looked like 6 year olds.
Liz: So were you like green?
Max: Green?
Liz: Before you took human form, were you 3 feet tall and green and slimy? (laughs, embarrassed). You know, I'm very sorry for asking you that; it's Maria's question.
Max: No, we just always looked like this. Except for the, uh, third eye. (Max looks down at the ground as Liz casually looks over at him. Max then leans over as if to tie his shoelace and Liz leans forward staring at the back of Max's head. Max peeks over and sees Liz looking at his head.) Kidding!
Liz: Yeah, I knew you were kidding. (Laughs and playfully shoves him.) You're such a jerk!
Liz: So uh, you really have no idea where you're from, like what planet, or who your people are besides Michael and Isabel?
Max: No idea.
Liz: Well, that must be kind of freeing in a way.
Max: Freeing?
Liz: Um, well just with me, you know, my parents own the Crashdown, so everyone in town knows who I am. Like, if I so much as get a haircut, everyone seems to notice, and they have to give me their opinion on it. It kind of makes life claustrophobic. It's like, you know, how am I ever supposed to become whoever it is that I'm gonna become while everyone is looking? You know? Sometimes I wish I could just be invisible.
Max: Sometimes I wish I didn't have to be so invisible.
(They hear Topolsky enter her office, and they turn to look through the grate.)
Topolsky: OK, I looked though all of them, and this is where I wanted to start.
Unknown Man: Michael Guerin. Have you interviewed him yet?
Topolsky: He hasn't set foot in school since I've been here. But if Muhammad doesn't come to the mountain…
Unknown Man: Do you want me to go talk to him?
Topolsky: No, I'll do it. Just check and make sure the address is correct.
Unknown Man: You got it.
(Max and Liz pull up in front of the Crashdown Café. Michael approaches Max.).
Max: (to Liz) Five minutes.
Liz: Right
(Liz goes into the café.)
Max: Michael, something's up.
Michael: They're taking things out of the Sheriff's office.
Max: What?
Michael: I don't know. Some guys in suits. So we gotta get in there. It's now or never, Max.
(In the Crashdown Café)
Maria: (To customer) You know, I'd steer you to this side of the menu. (Sees Liz enter.) Oh excuse me. (To Liz) Where have you been?
Liz: I need you to cover for me.
Maria: When?
Liz: Tonight.
Maria: Oh, no. It's a zoo.
Customer: Excuse me, I've been waiting for my hot fudge blast off for like 20 minutes.
Maria: (Under her breath) Yeah, like you need 80 grams of fat. (to Liz) OK, so one trip to the eraser room and you're like above working? Go get your uniform on, Madonna. The masses are demanding alien-themed, greasy food and by God, it's our job to serve it to them.
Liz: No look, Maria, this is really important. I promise I will tell you everything later. You're the best, but right now I've gotta go.
(Alex stops Liz as she's leaving.)
Alex: OK, I want some answers, all right? Because first of all, there are rumors going around that last week you were sh*t here in the cafe. And then at the crash festival you (motions to Maria) were seemingly run over by a car, but then you weren't. And every time I walk up to you two, you go silent or make up some ridiculous story about Czechoslovakia, which is a country that has not existed for 10 years. So I want the truth, and I want it now.
Liz: Alex, the reason that we keep on changing the subject is…
Maria: Cramps. We have cramps, Alex.
Liz: Yeah, and we didn't even want to talk about it in front of you because we thought it would make you feel really uncomfortable.
Maria: But if you want really want to know, we can tell you.
Liz: In really excruciating detail.
Alex: No! I'm eating. (He walks off.)
Liz: (to Maria) Thank you.
(in the parking lot)
Max: Michael, it's important to me, too.
Michael: All you want to do is protect what you've got here in Roswell.
Max: That's right, I do.
Michael: Have you ever thought what it's like here for me, Max?
Max: Of course I have.
(They turn to see Liz waiting by Jeep)
Max: Look, the woman who pulled your records, she's on her way to your place.
Michael: What?
Max: Just stay away from there tonight. Isabel is waiting for you at our house. Just go there and wait.
Michael: Wait for her to find me?
Max: Don't do anything stupid. (Michael stalks off.)
(Kyle Valenti pulls up in front of the Crashdown as Liz and Max are leaving.)
Kyle: Liz!
(Kyle get into his car and follows them. Max and Liz pull up in front of the trailer park with Kyle not far behind.)
Liz: So, how did you end up where you ended up, and Michael ended up here?
Max: It's a long story.
Liz: Is his foster father always, um, so…
Max: Tough? Yeah.
(Topolsky pulls up in front of Michael's trailer. Liz moves closer to Max in order to watch Topolsky. Kyle is visibly upset. Liz drops something.)
Liz: My ring! (She bends over to pick it up.)
Kyle: Oh my God! Liz! Get up! Liz…(Gets out of car and heads over to the Jeep)
Topolsky: (to Hank when he answers the door) Sorry to bother you. I'm looking for Michael.
Kyle: Liz!
Liz: Kyle!
Kyle: Hey, Max.
Max: (whispers) Hey, Kyle.
Kyle: What going on?
Liz: (whispers) Nothing.
Kyle: Why are you whispering?
Liz: (whispers) We're just, uh, waiting for Michael. We're gonna go, uh…
Max: Bowl.
Kyle: Why are you whispering?
Liz: (whispers) We're going bowling!
Kyle: Liz, what were you doing down there?
Liz: (whispers) Oh, I dropped my ring.
Kyle: Why are you whispering?
Topolsky: (to Hank) Why don't I give you my number. Could you have Michael call me?
Kyle: Bowling?
(Topolsky finishes talking to Hank and turns around to head for her car.)
Max: Liz!
(Max ducks down and Kyle follows)
Kyle: What?
Liz: Max!
Kyle: What are you doing?
(Topolsky hears Kyle and glances over. Kyle and Max are out of sight, but Topolsky sees Liz.)
(Michael goes to the Sheriff's station and looks up at the window.)
(Max is walking Liz from the car.)
Max: Maybe when this all blows over, you and I could get lunch or something?
Liz: Lunch?
Max: Yeah, if you want.
Liz: So, like in the Caf?
Max: Sure.
Liz: Okay, great. It's a date--no! It's not a date…it's… a lunch.
Max: Lunch... Right.
Liz: I better get home.
Max: Yeah, me too.
(Max notices Isabel waving for him come.)
Max: Good night, Liz.
Liz: Good night.
(Max approaches Isabel)
Isabel: Michael's AWOL.
(Michael uses his powers to open a locked window grate at the Sheriff's station, but overdoes it and nearly falls off. He slips into Valenti's office.)
(Max and Isabel are in the car headed toward Police Station)
Isabel: You know the guy doesn't know how to control his powers.
Max: I know.
(Max and Isabel see the window grate open and know Michael is there. Meanwhile, Michael goes through the Sheriff's files. Max and Isabel see Valenti pulling into the station.)
Isabel: You get Michael out of there. I'll keep Valenti out of his office as long as I can.
Max: Right.
(Inside the police station)
Deputy: Forget something?
Valenti: Papers.
Isabel: Sheriff? I'm so glad someone's here. I have a flat tire, and I am so not mechanical.
Deputy: Sheriff. You're off duty, Sheriff. I'd be happy to help the young lady out.
Sheriff: It's ok deputy. I've got it.
(Max climbs through the window as Michael finds the key Valenti hid in his thermos.)
Max: Michael, let's go, now! Valenti's back! Let's go! Michael!
(As Michael picks up the key, he gets h*t with a vision so intense that he falls backwards. Valenti, the deputy, and Isabel can hear his fall. Valenti tells Isabel to stay put and he and the deputy head upstairs toward his office.)
Max: Let's go, let's go!
(Michael and Max exit the office and Max reseals the locked window. Both jump into a garbage dumpster before Valenti arrives. Seeing nothing in the office, he checks the window grate and finds it locked.)
Michael: (As they climb out of the garbage dumpster) Told you it was no big deal.
(In front of the Police Station)
Valenti: (After fixing the flat tire) There you go. You're all set Miss Evans.
Isabel: Thanks, thanks a lot
Valenti: Isabel, right?
Isabel: Yeah
Valenti: You're out past the curfew.
Isabel: Well, I had a flat tire.
Valenti: Right. Where's Max tonight?
Isabel: Oh. I have no idea. I'm just his sister, not his keeper.
(In the jeep in front of Max's trailer. Max reaches for the key and gets no vision. Isabel reaches for it and acts as if she has a vision.)
Michael: What did you see?
Isabel: Ricky Martin in the shower.
(Michael takes the key and walks toward his trailer. Max goes after him.)
Max: Hey. (Michael turns.) Sorry about before. Maybe I don't really know what it's like for you.
Michael: The thing I've realized is the fact that my life basically sucks is a good thing. It's easier. We always have to be able to leave, pack a suitcase, go somewhere else. Maybe 10 years from now, maybe a week from now, maybe tomorrow. So my advice? Don't get in too deep, Maximillian. It only makes us weaker.
(Next day on the school grounds. LIZ is walking through the hallway. TOPOLSKY appears behind her)
Topolsky: Miss Parker! I have some questions for you about Michael Guerin. Your friend Michael is in serious trouble. I'm not a substitute teacher. I saw you at Michael's house last night. I'm the new guidance counselor.
Liz: (murmuring) Guidance counselor.
Topolsky: And Michael is a boy who's in serious danger of being expelled from this school. If you're really a friend, you'll talk to him. You'll have him come in and meet with me. Soon. Are you with me Miss Parker?
Liz: I'll tell him.
Topolsky: Thank you.
(As Topolsky walks away, Liz sees Kyle staring at her.)
Voice-Over: Ever since I found out about Max and Michael and Isabel, I've been thinking a lot about secrets.
That for everyone who has a secret, there's someone else who needs to know what that secret is. (Scene of Valenti discovering that the key is missing.)
How sometimes secrets keep people from feeling like they belong. (Scene of Michael watching the Evans family play basketball together in their driveway)
And sometimes secrets make you feel like you do belong. (Scene of Liz and Max in the Eraser Room.)
And now even I, Liz Parker, the smallest of small town girls with the simplest of lives-- even I have something to hide. (Liz finishes writing in her journal and then smiles.) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x01 - Morning After"} | foreverdreaming |
"Monsters"
Episode: 3
3rd Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA02
Written by: Jason Katims, Thania St. John
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 20, 1999
(MARIA is driving down the road in her car singing Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera. ISABELLE'S car has broken down on the side of the road, and is being towed.)
Isabel: Of course.
Maria: Going home? Um, I mean um, do you need a ride? (ISABEL stares at her for a moment and then gets in car)
Isabel: Doesn't this thing have any air conditioning.
Maria: Yeah, it's on all the way. (ISABEL holds her had over the vent and uses her power to make stream of air cooler.)
Oh my God! What are you doing?
Isabel: I'm just making it more comfortable in here!
Maria: Don't do that in my car!
Isabel: Whatever. What year is this thing?
Maria: It's a '92, and it's never been towed either.
Isabel: Well the sound system is pathetic. (ISABEL holds her hand over the radio in the car and makes the radio louder.)
Maria: Oh my God! (Car swerves)
Isabel: I'm just trying to help you out.
Maria: Oh, uh the keychain. My mother makes them. I'll tell her to stop.
Isabel: My mother does stupid things too.
Maria: She does?
Isabel: Don't all mothers?
Maria: Yeah, I guess. Does she know?
Isabel: That she does stupid things?
Maria: No that, uh, you and Max are, like, you know, different.
Isabel: You mean horrible disgusting creatures from outer space who sneak into your room at night and perform excruciating experiments?
(MARIA stares at her in shock, and looks back at the road just in time to h*t her breaks before hitting another car)
Maria: (Gasps) Oh my god! Oh my God!
Isabel: Oh my God.
Valenti: Ladies.
***Credits***
(TOPOLSKY is lecturing to the students)
Topolsky: What will the future bring? In ancient times man looked to the heavens to answer this question. Today our methods are a little more scientific, more personal. What will the future bring for you. As the millennium nears all eyes are on you. There are so many opportunities out there for young people today. And I want to help you discover exactly what's right for you. Because the most important ingredient for success is always preparation. You can't become something until you can dream it first. What will the future bring for you?
Maria: Let me just make it easy for her: Tasty Freeze, Denny's, Gas World, Prison.
Voice-Over: Listening to Topolsky I suddenly realized that it wasn't my future I was worried about at all. My future was filled with all kinds of promise, if I could just get through my present.
Topolsky: That's where I come in, getting to know your dreams. So over the next few days you will all be coming in to my office for some interviews. A series of questions which will indicate where your strengths lie. And as you know I'm new here, so most importantly this will give me a chance to find out who you are.
(LIZ and MARIA walking through the halls)
Liz: Okay, so you rear ended Sheriff Valenti, are you okay?
Maria: Yeah it was a love tap, it was nothing, I can handle it.
Liz: Okay, Are you sure?
Maria: Yeah, minor fender bender. Minor damage, and you know what? It probably would have never happened if Miss Isabelle hadn't been messing with my head.
Liz: Wait, why was she playing with your head?
Maria: She was like, deliberately trying to freak me out.
Liz: How?
Maria: Okay, she like, made my air conditioner blow like a hurricane
Liz: Maria. What did you do to make her do that?
Maria: What did I do? Hey look listen, I was there to extend myself. You know, I gave her a lift. Trying to reach out give her that old I come in peace thing. Look, Liz, it like, takes two people to tango. You know? And how can I tango with the girl if she's going around creeping me out.
Liz: Okay Maria, look, I will talk to Max and I will have him talk to Isabelle. But the important thing is for us to stay in control. Okay?
Maria: Hey I am in control. You know, I am like, in control.
(TOPOLSKY is doing interviews)
Topolsky: Why don't you start by telling me what your dream job would be.
Liz's Friend (from geometry): I want to be Brad Pitt's love sl*ve.
Kyle: Uh, Houston Astro's Left field.
Stoner Guy: Lead guitar for Metallica.
Alex: That's an interesting question. Uh, do you always ask it first?
Isabel: Supermodel.
Maria: Like I have any skills.
Liz: Molecular biologist. Or a dream, dream, dream job would be head of molecular biology research at Harvard.
Topolsky: That's fantastic. Now what job do you think you'll actually have in ten years?
Liz's Friend: Cheese factory I guess.
Kyle: Houston Astro's left field
Isabelle: I usually get what I want.
Alex: Excellent follow up question. Very good technique.
Maria: Oh we could all be d*ad in ten years.
Stoner: Video store. No, wait. Well, Cheese factory.
Liz: Molecular biologist.
Topolsky: All right. Let's play a relationship game. Tell me which character in this picture is most like you, and tell me what they're doing at the park.
Kyle: King of the jungle gym
Isabel: I never really played well with others.
Alex: The kid holding the umbrella for the other kids. Which one are you?
Maria: Can this get any more lame?
Max: Probably the one behind the tree. I was sort of kidding.
Topolsky: No that's interesting. That's a hard place to be. I've been behind the tree myself. In college I barely left my dorm for three years. Then I realized that I had gotten myself into this situation where I wasn't really living. I was just going through the motions, and it was really, really risky to change. To get out there in the world.
Max: But it was worth it.
Topolsky: Yes it was.
Max: Coming out from behind the tree, huh?
Topolsky: Exactly. You start small. You say today I'm going to do one thing to get out there. Nothing big. Just one thing.
Max: What did you do?
Topolsky: Started a conversation with this guy I liked.
(Bell rings. MAX leaves, and you see on TOPOLSKY'S notes about the students, she writes, "has secrets" next to MAX'S name.)
(MAX is hiding around the corner, while LIZ is talking to some friends.)
Liz: Okay sure, so we'll talk about it later. See ya guys later. Bye.
Liz: Hey.
Max: Oh Hey. So how's it going?
Liz: Good it's going good.
Max: Good. That's good. Great
Liz: Okay. Max is everything okay?
Max: Yeah, I just wanted to say hi. Uh. Just, uh, stepping out from behind the tree.
Liz: What tree?
Max: Oh, forget it. Its…
Liz: Uh, Max do you know about the whole Maria/Isabelle thing that's going on?
Max: Yeah, yeah, I heard.
Liz: Well, um I just sorta promised Maria I would mention it. See um, Isabelle kinda makes Maria a little…
Max: Nervous?
Liz: No, no it's not nervous.
Max: Because she sometimes makes people nervous.
Liz: She just said that she did things
Max: Things?
Liz: Yeah, you know, like things to her car. So maybe you could talk to her, so we don't let this situation get out of control?
Max: Right..
Liz: Okay.
Max: Okay.
Liz: You know it kinda seemed like you wanted to say something before.
Max: No
Liz: Okay. Bye Max
(ALIENS are having lunch together.)
Isabel: That girl is just an accident waiting to happen.
Max: Look, Isabelle could you at least t try and make an effort?
Isabel: No.
Max: Think about it. People see movies with aliens. Aliens k*lling humans. Evil aliens. Green aliens. If you keep acting this way with Maria, she's going to think that's what we are.
Isabel: Exactly. I'm telling you this evil alien thing could work for us in this situation. The way to deal with her is to make her sweat, keep her on her toes. Make her afraid of my shadow, of your shadow, of her shadow, of Michael's shadow. Right Michael?
Michael: Or we could just k*ll her. Kidding.
Max: Put that key away.
Michael: You want to know, don't you. I mean you got the buck (or something like that). I mean we've got this key, now what does this key open. Admit that you have to know that.
Isabel: Could you stop with the key. The key means nothing.
Michael: If the key means nothing then why did it give me a vision the first time I touched it?
Isabel: Because your brain is warped, just a theory.
Max: What do you think it means? I mean it's a key, where could it possibly lead?
Michael: I'm telling you the government cleaned out the sheriff's station and this is the key he kept from them.. It's got to be something important. Maybe it belongs to the corpse from 1959.
Isabel: Michael you're grasping at straws.
Michael: And I know that, but I say we follow where it takes us. I mean who knows where we'll end up. Maybe home. I mean, Maxwell, we can't let this go. We can't just hide.
Max: I don't know.
(MARIA is talking to people nearby.)
Isabel: One more day before she cracks. Tops.
Max: Just try to find something you have in common with her.
Isabel: Oh please, what could I ever talk to her about?
Max: Try something. Order some fries. Start a conversation.
Isabel: No. It's impossible. She's irrational.
Michael: She's kinda weird.
(TOPOLSKY is continuing her interview with LIZ.)
Topolsky: So you want to be a scientist? Wow. That's exciting.
Liz: Yeah
Topolsky: You seem very sure of yourself.
Liz: Well, you know, the first time I walked into a chemistry lab I just knew. There's this smell. The sulfur smell. I knew I was home.
Topolsky: What makes you think the world of science is right for you? Other than the smell.
Liz: Okay, the world is this incredibly mysterious place, and science is just this way of figuring it out. With science there are answers to everything. Facts. When you're conducting an experiment, you're in control of everything.
Topolsky: So you like to be in control.
Liz: Of course
Topolsky: You make a lot of plans don't you?
Liz: You've got to have a plan.
Topolsky: What about taking life as it comes?
Liz: No.
Topolsky: Sometimes you don't have a choice.
(LIZ is meeting with the Crashdown's employees)
Liz: In response to recent shift confusion I have created this color coated system so that we'll all have a clear plan. Now, like any good plan there is flexibility in it, but the important thing is, is if you need to make a change tell me and I'll make it so that nothing gets out of control. Thank you all for coming in. Any questions?
Employee: Can we go back home now?
Liz: Yeah.
Maria: Nice colors.
Liz: Thanks. Okay.
Maria: You know what? You take the front. I'm going to go do that can inventory that your father talked about.
Liz: Maria!
Maria: She's out there
Liz: Who's out there?
Maria: Queen Amidala!
Liz: Okay, Maria, you've got to calm down here. You've got to control yourself.
Maria: I am in control. I am in control. I'm not in control Liz! Look! Let me just confide here.Okay? I live my life in constant fear of her. Okay! Moment to moment, knowing that each one could by my last. Okay, I'm sorry, it's just…
Liz: No no no no. I get it, but we're just stuck with each other. You know? The five of us. For me, just try and be friendly with Isabelle.
Maria: Okay, sure. Great. All right. Just one big happy family.
Liz: You can do it.
Maria: Hi.
Isabel: Hi.
Maria: So.
Isabel: So. How about some fries
Maria: Fries. That's a great choice. Really.
Isabel: Thanks.
(VALENTI walks in.)
Valenti: Can I get a coke please? You do have coke, don't you?
Maria: Yes, yes, we do. Um.. To go?
Valenti: Sure that would be fine.
Maria: Anything else I can tell you today, Sheriff? Get you today Sheriff?
Anything?
Valenti: Actually I need your insurance information for that fender bender that we had.
Maria: Right.
Valenti: City regulations. (MARIA is visibly uncomfortable) You all right?
Maria: Yes. Totally all right. Happy as a clam
Valenti: I'm here to protect you. From anything. Do you understand?
Liz: Um, you know it's time for that can inventory Maria. Can I ring this up for you Sheriff?
Valenti: Keep the change.
(MARIA is working in the Crashdown alone. It's very busy. MAX walks in.)
A MOTHER: Corey! Corey! Will you stop it with that thing or we're not going to the museum.
Corey: Blast the Alien! (Corey points g*n at Max.)
Maria: Liz isn't here, and if she were here, I would k*ll her.
A MOTHER: Excuse me, but there isn't anything scary in that UFO center is there? I mean, there's nothing real or anything is there?
Max: I've never really been in there, so…
Maria: Of course not, why would you ever think something like that? There's no such thing as aliens, especially anywhere around here.
Corey: That's not what it said on the menu.
A MOTHER: Knock it off!
Maria: Thank you for dining at the Crashdown.
A MOTHER: Lets go, lets go!
Max: Are you okay?
Maria: Of course I'm okay. Don't I seem okay?
Max: Well you just shortchanged her ten bucks.
Maria: Oh my God! Oh my God! I, I can't leave! I'm the only one here!
Max: Take it easy, I'll take it to her.
Maria: Are you sure?
Max: Why not?
Maria: Thank you so much!
True Believer: And so on July 4th 1947, after all the fireworks had been sh*t off, after all the pie had been eaten, they came. The evidence suggests that they had been studying us for quite some time. To what end we'll never know, but on that fateful night something went terribly wrong, and one, though some say more than one, of their alien crafts crashed onto our planet starting what was to become one of the most elaborate cover-ups mankind has ever known. Right this way. There are eyewitness accounts from people still living in Roswell today of debris found in the desert made of strange metals and inscribed with purple hieroglyphs. There are those who on their deathbeds spoke of being present at alien autopsies, and of the thr*at made to their lives and the lives of their families if they ever spoke of what they saw. Imagine, ladies and gentlemen, of living with a secret so terrible that you can't even share with your loved ones for fear of their safety. I don't think anyone today is strong enough for that. Now are there any questions before we enter the video theater?
Tourist: I heard that they found some aliens still alive, and that they were tortured into giving us their technology.
(Tour Guide) TRUE BELIEVER: There are many theories son, many theories.
Tourist 2: Did they ever come back again? You know, to rescue the ones in the crash?
(Tour Guide) TRUE BELIEVER: There have been sightings in this area on a regular basis since that night. You decide. Right this way.
Max: What about 1959?
(Tour Guide) TRUE BELIEVER: Who said that? Lets continue with the, uh, documentary portion of our tour. Right this way.
Corey: Blast the aliens!! (sh**t at Max.)
Mother: Corey! Do I need to get a leash!
Max: This is yours. You left it at the café
Mother: Oh. Thank you! Let's go! We're going home. You exhaust me!
(Tour Guide) TRUE BELIEVER: What do you know about 1959?
Max: Is there something to know?
(Tour Guide) TRUE BELIEVER: Come back tomorrow. We can talk more.
Tourist: Hey you're blocking the screen!
(Tour Guide) TRUE BELIEVER: Tomorrow. I have something you may be interested in.
Documentary: The mysteries of what happened to the creatures inside the spacecraft have yet to be unraveled.
(MAX is sitting in his bedroom staring at the stars.)
Isabel: Looking for something?
Max: What if there is someone out there somewhere waiting for us to come home, you know? Another mom and dad? I know we never really talk about this stuff. Do you? Wonder about it at all?
Isabel: Every day.
Max: Well what if we could find out? What if someone had the answers for us? Would you want to know?
Isabel: I think I'd be really scared. What is this about Max? Is this about the key Michael found, because you know we can't do anything about it?
Max: We're always being so cautious, you know? Always watching behind our backs. Never getting too involved, but we're never looking forward either. We're just kinda stuck Isabelle. I'm not sure I want to be stuck anymore.
Isabel: What's making you think about this? The key, or Liz?
Max: I'm not sure.
Isabel: Max we already took a really big risk just telling them, and I don't like where it's headed.
Max: I trust them Isabelle
Isabel: You want to trust them.
Isabel: You know I wish I had somebody I felt that way about. But we can't Max. We can't expose ourselves. I'm going to find out exactly what we're up against.
Max: What do you mean?
Isabel: I'm going to pay Maria a little visit.
Max: What kind of visit?
Isabel: The usual.
Max: You can't just go around walking into people's dreams. Remember when you did it with mom? She wouldn't go back to sleep for a week.
Isabel: Look, it's just to check things out. You know? Preventive measures.
Max: Isabelle…
Isabel: Max just a short visit. Goodnight.
(ISABEL is lying in her room. She touches a yearbook picture of MARIA and falls asleep. Dream sequence.)
Liz: Some people are just pigs.
Maria: Tell me about it. (Monsters are sitting at the counter.) Welcome to the Crashdown. AHHHH!
Liz: What's the matter Maria?
Maria: Look at them!
Liz: What Maria?
Maria: They're repulsive, I mean…
Liz: They look perfectly normal to me.
(ISABEL appears behind MARIA.)
Maria: What are you doing here?
Isabel: I just thought we should talk, and since we can't seem to do it when we're awake, I thought I'd visit you in your dreams.
Maria: What do you mean visit me?
Isabel: I'm not really a part of your dream. I can't change it or anything. I just wanted to see what you were thinking. Interesting.
(MICHAEL is sitting at a table dressed in a tuxedo.)
Maria: When he's dressed like that it makes me feel much less afraid.
Isabel: Afraid of what?
(MICHAEL turns into a monster.)
Maria: AHHHHHH! Help! Sheriff I have to tell you!
Isabel: Tell him what?
Maria: You guys are horrible disgusting creatures from outer space.
Isabel: Is that what you would really do?
Maria: Sheriff! Sheriff Valenti! Sheriff!
(TOPOLSKY is interviewing MAX.)
Topolsky: Are you having problems with anything in your life right now Max?
Max: No, not at all.
Topolsky: Because some adopted kids go through tough times about this age. You know; Identity issues. Things like that..
Max: What does this have to do with my career path again?
Topolsky: If I'm going to help you figure out what you're going to become, maybe we should talk about who you really are. Now, you're an excellent student. Are you thinking of college?
Max: It's a little soon for that.
Topolsky: Two years. You don't think that far ahead?
Max: Not usually.
Topolsky: What about the past Max? What did you want to be when you were five?
(MAX looks uncomfortable.)
Topolsky: You don't remember anything before you were adopted do you?
Max: What does this have to do with my future?
Topolsky: Sometimes it's hard to move forward with your future until you figure out your past.
(MAX goes to the UFO Center to talk to the TRUE BELIEVER.)
Max: Excuse me?
True Believer: It's closing time.
Max: It's Max Evans, from yesterday?
True Believer: Well, I thought you were playing hard to get.
Max: Well, well I had school.
True Believer: All right, cut to the chase kid. Don't tease me. What do you know about 1959?
Max: I thought you had something to show me.
True Believer: Is that the way you want to play? I'm about to show you unmitigated proof that aliens walked this earth. I was that boy next to that alien shadow. That close. Now, what do you know about 1959?
Max: Only that there was a sighting near this ice cream parlor.
True Believer: Damn. I thought you had something. Look, I know that you're hooked. I can see it in your eyes. And I could use a guy like you around here. Minimum wage. Long hard hours. But think of the rewards when we make the discovery of a lifetime. You a non-smoker?
Max: Yeah.
True Believer: Good. I can't take any chances with my archives so close.
Max: Archives?
True Believer: Just the most complete collection of UFO facts and findings ever compiled. Right up those stairs.
Max: You have information on sightings?
True Believer: I know it's a tourist trap cash cow, but every penny I make goes to my research. Everything you've ever wanted to know about extraterrestrial since 1947 waits for you behind that door.
Max: Your archives, are they open to the public?
True Believer: Oh you're hungrier than I thought, and you remind me of myself as a confused, pained adolescent. Ever since then I've spent my entire life searching for aliens. And I swear on my mother's grave that one day I will stand face to face with one of these creatures, and I will say, "I told you so!" Now what about my offer? What do you think?
(ISABEL is eating in the Crashdown, as MARIA'S working.)
Isabel: Some people are just pigs.
Maria: Sheriff! What are you doing here?
Valenti: I enjoyed the coke so much I thought I'd try breakfast. Anything special you'd like to tell me about?
Maria: No.
Valenti: Well the board says you've got corned beef hash.
Maria: Yeah, right. Sorry. Heavenly hash special.
Valenti: Is that what you'd recommend?
Maria: Oh absolutely.
Valenti: You seem to know a lot about what goes on around here, so I'll trust you.
Maria: Right. Uh, one heavenly hash special. To go?
Valenti: No, I think I'll eat it right here this time.
Maria: Ok.
Valenti: Oh, by the way, the insurance company took care of everything. It's good to have a strong, dependable institution like that on your side. How's your neck doing?
Maria: My neck?
Valenti: Yeah, that was quite a h*t you took from that car the night of the festival.
Maria: Oh right! That was nothing.
Valenti: You seem to be getting into a lot of accidents lately though. I'll tell you what? Why don't you stop by my office tomorrow, say, about this time, and you and I can talk.
Maria: Okay.
Valenti: Oh, and I'll take that order to go.
Maria: Okay
(MAX and LIZ are working in biology class.)
Biology Teacher: Outside forces. They're very powerful. Nothing in the universe is immune to them. If no man is an island, than no molecule lives in a vacuum. Heat makes them expand, and cold forces them together. They even effect each other.
Max: I'll help you if you help me.
Liz: Ok.
(MAX knocks some books on the floor, and they bend down under the desk to pick them up.)
Max: I know this is all really strange.
Liz: No, no it's not.
Max: And keeping a secret like this is a lot of pressure.
Liz: No, but Max I would never even say anything.
Max: I know, I know. Never on purpose, and I believe that. But what about Maria?
Liz: Maria, no Max, she's completely trustworthy. She's like, um, she's like a fortress. She's the Fort Knox of friends.
Max: So she'll be okay when she goes to see Valenti tomorrow.
Liz: Oh yeah totally. She'll be fine. I'm gonna talk to her about it.
Max: Right, ok. I guess I am a little worried. It's just she seems to be a little uh, high
Liz: I know, high strung. Well, yeah, you see that's what Maria's like on the outside, but on the inside she's like this really, really, um, like, um…
Max: Calm.
Liz: No she's not calm, it's something else, she's like this, on the inside she's more, um, Max, Maria's my best friend in the whole world, and she's going to be fine tomorrow. I'll make sure of it.
Max: Right. It's just, it's important.
Liz: I know it is. You don't need to worry about it. It'll be fine. I promise.
(TOPOLSKY meets with the students again.)
Topolsky: So I'm sure you're eager to hear the results of your computer profile.
Liz's Friend: Writer. Cool. How hard could that be?
Kyle: Law enforcement? This is a joke right?
Alex: Psychologist. Wow. How did you get started in this field?
Stoner: Video store clerk. My dream.
Topolsky: How well do you think you know yourself?
Isabel: Very well.
Topolsky: Then you might be surprised by your computer profile. Now, you said in our first meeting that you wanted to be a supermodel.
Isabel: You work with what you're given.
Topolsky: That's quite a jet set career for someone who puts family first, craves s*ab and security, and leans towards care giving fields.
Isabel: Well I never trusted computers.
Topolsky: Think about who you are Isabelle, and what's important in your life, and remember, there's nothing wrong with just wanting to be normal.
(LIZ and MARIA are talking at the Crashdown.)
Liz: Okay, you got tapped by the car and you just blacked out. And you don't remember a thing that happened after that. Okay? Pretend that I'm Valenti. What did you see in the parking lot that night?
Maria: Nothing, just headlights.
Liz: Perfect. And, um, and how did you get that handprint on you?
Maria: I don't know I was unconscious.
Liz: Right.
Maria: Wrong, Liz. This is so ludicrous. Look, the sheriff is smart! He's going to find out the truth. And maybe that wouldn't be so bad. He's Kyle's dad. He said he was here to protect us.
Liz: Do you think we need protection from Max and Michael and Isabelle.
Maria: Yes. Maybe. I don't know. I just wish you would stop trying to control the way I feel. I am not you Liz. Look I just, I have to do what I think is right. I gotta go.
(MARIA is waiting for her car at the mechanic's, ISABELLE pulls up and gets out of her mom's car.)
Mrs. Evans: Have a good day. Call me.
Isabelle: Yes.
Mechanic: Fixed the headlight. Popped out the fender. I fixed the leak in your radiator hose. You can pay at the cashier ladies.
(MICHAEL, LIZ, and MAX are hanging out at school waiting for word from MARIA.)
Michael: So what do you mean she was nervous?
Liz: I don't know. She was just, she was like nervous.
Max: Nervous, like, just overexcited nervous?
Michael: Or she's going to crack nervous.
Liz: I'm not sure what she's going to say. I'm really not sure of anything anymore.
Michael: You're not sure. That's great. That's good.
Liz: Max I'm so sorry. I should have never even told Maria in the first place.
Max: Well you did it 'cause you trusted her, and you needed someone to talk to. It was only natural.
Liz: So why did you tell me?
Max: It was only natural.
Liz: What did you mean the other day about the thing about the tree?
Max: Just somebody's advice. Not to get stuck behind it.
Liz: Oh. Well did you take it? That advice?
Max: I think I just did.
(MARIA is sitting in VALENTI'S office.)
Valenti: What are you afraid of Miss DeLuca?
Maria: A lot of things.
Valenti: You know what I think? I think someone is controlling you, controlling you through fear. Am I right? I'm here to help you. You know that don't you? Then tell me what's frightening you so badly. What you saw the night of the crash festival? You were in that parking lot to meet whom?
Maria: Nothing just headlights.
Valenti: Was there someone waiting for you?
Maria: I don't know I was unconscious.
Valenti: Maria. We both know why we're here, right? So what do you say we stop lying to each other? Okay?
Maria: Okay.
Valenti: Now who is Isabelle Evans?
Maria: Um, she's a girl at school.
Valenti: Why does she make you so nervous?
Maria: I'm not nervous.
Valenti: Isabel and her brother Max. How well do you know them?
Maria: Not well, not well at all.
Valenti: You know I think you and I have something in common. I never got to know my father very well either. He was the sheriff around here about forty years ago. Did you know that?
Maria: No.
Valenti: Strong man. Strong hands. And he had this theory, you know? About aliens? That they were real. Sounds awfully silly doesn't it?
Maria: Yeah.
Valenti: That's what everybody thought. But my father, he was a very stubborn man, and he wouldn't let it go. He believed, and he lost his job over it. And he lost his family over it. Now I would hate to see that happen to any other family in this town, wouldn't you? Now that's one more thing that you and I have in common, isn't it? We've both seen things recently. Things that have made us start to wonder, made us question ourselves, our beliefs, and I think that if we share those things with each other, we're both going to feel a little bit safer. Now Isabelle Evans.
She's just a girl?
Maria: She's a special girl.
Valenti: What makes her special?
Maria: Where she comes from.
Valenti: Where is she from? Maria, where are they from? Where did they come from?
Maria: A very nice family. And like you said sheriff we wouldn't want to destroy any other families in this town, would we?
(MARIA is driving along the road, and runs into ISABELLE, whose car has broken down again.)
Isabel: You're alone?
Maria: Do you see the army behind me?
Isabel: You lied.
Maria: Like a rug.
Isabel: Were you scared?
Maria: Understatement, but that's when I realized what it's like being you.
Isabel: You look awful.
Maria: Thanks for saving our butts Maria, oh no problem. So need a ride?
(MICHAEL, MAX, and LIZ are waiting in front of the school. MARIA and ISABEL walk up together.)
Voice-Over: The future was always so clear to me. A straight path towards my goal. I just never counted on there being any intersections. I guess that's what makes life more interesting. Keeping yourself open, letting new people in, changing your mind. | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x02 - Monsters"} | foreverdreaming |
"Leaving Normal"
Episode: 4
4th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA03
Written by: Jason Katims
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 13, 1999
(Liz writing in diary)
Voice-Over: It's October 19th. I'm Liz Parker and this is what I've been thinking. Can life ever go back to normal?
(At Crashdown Cafe)
Maria: It's crazy.
Liz: It's an orthodontist convention.
Maria: Why would orthodontists want to meet in Roswell?
Liz: That's a good question.
Maria: Uh, Jose. If table 3 doesn't get their food, I swear they're going to att*ck.
Jose: Busy ladies, very busy.
Liz: Oh, my God. I forgot to tell you. Grandma Claudia is coming on Friday.
Maria: I have been going through Grandma withdrawal. I just love Grandma Claudia.
Liz: I know. She's like the basis of my existence.
Jose: Table 6.
Liz: Oh, great....thank you.
Maria: Jose, what about me?
(Jose blow a kiss at Maria, who rolls her eyes)
(Liz serving food to table 6)
Orthodontist: Here she is.
Liz: Ok, gentlemen. I've got one Venus Meatloaf Platter. There you go. And two Trekkie specials. Enjoy your dinner. Oh, and your space fries will be right out.
(Max enters and sits down at a booth)
Orthodontist: Uh, miss...my colleagues and I were just appreciating your wonderful overbite.
Liz: Oh...well, thank you....that's a first actually.
Orthodontist: Would you mind if we just take a look at your bite.....for medical purposes.
Liz: Sure.
(Liz shows her wonderful overbite)
Voice-Over: Part of me wants safety, wants to go back to how things were, to a life that I could predict, where I know how life is going to be. And the other part of me wants to go somewhere else, into the unknown.
Orthodontist: Magnificent.
Liz: Enjoy your dinner, gentlemen.
(Liz walks over to Max's booth)
["Candy" by Mandy Moore starts playing]
Liz: It's an orthodontist convention.
Max: Apparently.
Liz: So, are you waiting for Michael or...
Max: No, no.
(Max looks over menu)
Max: I'll just have an Alien Blast.
Liz: Me, too.
Max: Excuse me?
Liz: Nothing...ok, one Alien Blast.
(Jocks look over at Liz and Max)
Jock: He's the guy.
(Crashdown closes and Max walks across the street where jocks are waiting for him)
Max: What's going on, guys?
Jock: Evans, right?
Max: Yeah.
Jock: Stay away from her.
Max: Who?
(Jocks b*at up Max)
(Opening credits)
Michael: It's those jocks from the football team, right? Kyle and his friends?
Max: Kyle wasn't there.
Michael: I've seen them giving you those looks. It was them, wasn't it?
Max: It doesn't matter who it was.
Michael: I'm going to k*ll them.
Max: Michael...no.
Michael: So what are we going to do?
Max: Nothing.
Michael: What do we mean we're going to do nothing?
Max: Michael, listen to me. This is bad. Kyle does something to us. We do something back to him. This kind of thing gets all over school, all over town. Rumors start flying. The whole thing about what I did to Liz starts coming up again. We get exposed.
Michael: That's exactly what I'm saying. We go and we shut up those guys right now.
Max: Michael, we have to stick together now, more than ever before. We have to go back into our shells. We can't do anything to those guys. I have to stay away from Liz.
(At school, in hallway, where Liz is looking at a calendar of athletic events)
Maria: Hey.
Liz: Hey.
Maria: So, catching up on upcoming athletic events?
Liz: Uh-huh.
Maria: Uh-huh. It couldn't be that Maz has PE 4th period and you're conveniently positioning yourself to just happen to run into him?
Liz: Good bye.
Maria: Bye.
(Max comes along and Liz walks up to him)
Liz: Hey, Max.
Max: Hey.
Liz: What happened to your face?
Max: I fell.
Liz: Are you ok?
Max: Yeah.
Liz: When did this happen? It looks really bad.
Max: Yesterday. Uh, look, I got to get going. I have an English midterm. Bye.
Liz: Bye.
(Kyle walks up to Liz)
Kyle: Liz, hey.
Liz: Hey.
Kyle: So, tonight's movie night, right?
Liz: Yes.
Kyle: Video store at 6?
Liz: Sounds great.
Kyle: Alright. Ok, see ya.
(Jocks walking down the stairs, Michael walks toward them and runs into one of them)
Jock: Hey, watch where you're going.
Michael: Dude, I'm sorry.
["Then the Morning Comes" by Smash Mouth starts playing]
(Michael watches as the jock he touched starts getting this nasty itch while talking to a cheerleader he's trying to impress)
(At Crashdown Cafe, where Mr. Parker is singing to an old song)
(Grandma enters)
Liz: Grandma!
Grandma: Honeybear!....Oh, hello Jeffrey....oh, you're still listening to them. You're dating yourself.
Mr. Parker: Well, you know, some things defy time.
Grandma: Oh, look at you.
Liz: What?
Grandma: Last year when I left, you were a child. Now I come back to find a beautiful young woman.
Liz: Grandma, let me help you upstairs with your stuff.
Grandma: Oh, Jeffrey will get it, won't you dear?
(Mr. Parker nods)
Liz: I thought you weren't supposed to be here until Friday.
Liz: Ok, so tell me what's going on. Did you finish that book you were working on last time?
Grandma: Oh, book, schmook. Let's dish.
(Mrs. Parker walks down the stairs with a basket of laundry)
Mrs. Parker: Hey Claudia.
Grandma: Nancy, oh it's so good to see you. Hey, come with us. We're going upstairs to catch up.
Mrs. Parker: Really? Should I?
Liz: Yeah, definitely. C'mon mom.
Mrs. Parker: I don't think so...I have a lot of laundry to do this week.
Grandma: We'll be back just as soon as Liz has told me about all the boys who are head over heels in love with her.
Mrs. Parker: Don't waste your time because she never talks about that stuff.
(In Liz's room)
Liz: So, in any case, Kyle's not somebody that I'm going to marry or anything. But it's...you know. We have a good time together. It's good.
(Grandma waits for Liz to say more)
Liz: What?
Grandma: Well, not every relationship has to be the be-all and end-all.
Liz: Right....it doesn't?
Grandma: No...everybody wants to find her soulmate, but there's so much time for that. I think it's nice that you have somebody you can have fun with.
Liz: What if there was something else?
Grandma: Something else?
Liz: Someone else.
Grandma: Now, this is worth the price of the airfare.
(Liz looks a bit embarrassed)
Liz: What if this someone else could potentially be...you know, what you said.
Grandma: Is there?
Liz: But what if were like complicated...like incredibly, incredibly complicated?
Grandma: Well, one thing I can tell you....if it isn't complicated, he probably isn't a soulmate.
(Maria opens the door and enters)
Maria: Grandma!
Grandma: Oh, Maria! Look at you. Another beauty. God help this poor little town with you two running around.
Maria: Ok, I love this woman.
Liz: Wait...look at this. It's an article on the first findings of the Navajo Indians in hundreds of years. Lost Treasures by Claudia Parker. It's going to be in the American Journal of Archaeology.
Maria: That is so cool.....ok, alright, so let's talk about me. The hair thing...does it work for you? I kind of see it as a Meg Ryan style after an electric storm.
Grandma: I think it's you.
Maria: She's good. Ok, so what were you guys talking about?
Liz: Nothing.
Grandma: Boys.
Maria: Oh...Kyle or Max?
(Liz gives Maria a "gee, thanks alot" look)
Liz: Thank you...
Grandma: Aha...Max.
Liz: No...Max...he's so not possible. He's just like this whole different...
Maria: Life form?
Liz: Type.
Grandma: How intriguing. A dangerous man?
Maria: Spacey man.
Grandma: A mystery man.
Liz: Ok, you two...you're out of control.
Grandma: So, what are we doing tonight?
Liz: Tonight...
(At UFO center, where Max is stuffing tubes into an alien's stomach)
Isabel: Whatcha doing?
Max: Some kid pulled these out.
Isabel: Great job you've found, Max. Real dignified.
Max: Gotta feed the monkey.
Isabel: Seventeen people at school already told me about your face....oh my God...what happened?
Max: Michael and I...
Isabel: ????? already told me the story of you falling on the basketball court....what really happened, Max?
Max: Some guys roughed me up last night.
Isabel: Why?
Max: They're friends of Kyle's. They think Kyle must be upset about me and Liz.
Isabel: You were just going to tell me some story like I couldn't handle the truth?
Max: I guess I knew how upset you'd be and I don't want you to get mad. We have to stay inside now. We have to be careful.
Isabel: Max, this whole thing with Liz and the sherriff's son. It's just...
Max: I know, I'm staying away from Liz.
(Isabel looking over Max's injuries)
Isabel: Pretty raw...why don't you just get rid of them?
Max: Because they have to heal normally...everything has to be normal.
(Kyle and Liz on street walking towards Crashdown Cafe)
Liz: I can't believe you actually rented this. This looks like the worst movie in history.
Kyle: Well, ok, for your information, "m*ssacre at Sunset Village" is a modern day classic. And the serial k*ller homes in on this retirement community so it's got something for your grandmother.
Liz: I am not showing this to my grandmother.
Kyle: Well, twenty minutes of ????? and boringness and we'll all be ready for some action.
(There's a crowd gathered outside the Crashdown and an ambulance is outside)
(At hospital, nurses are wheeling in Grandma on a stretcher down the hall)
Doctor: What have we got?
Nurse: Patient complained of weakness in her left thigh and her family members noticed slurred speech before she lost consciousness. BP 160, pulse 100, respiration 20
Doctor: Gimme an EKG....keep them out of here, please.
Nurse: I'm sorry, I need to have you wait.
Mr. Parker: That's my mother.
Nurse: I understand that, but I need you to wait out here.
(In hospital lobby where Parker family and Kyle are waiting for news about Grandma)
Liz: I'm gonna go...
(Liz buys a soft drink and decides to call Max)
Max: Hi, it's Max...I'm not here right now, but please leave a message.
Liz: Hi, Max...it's Liz. I'm at the hospital. Something happened to my grandmother. We don't know if it's serious, but it seems really bad. I'm just scared. Look, I don't even know why I'm calling you. I guess I just wanted to hear your voice or something. Now I just feel completely stupid. Look, don't come here or anything because everyone is here. I'll just see you in school tomorrow. Sorry for the weird call. Bye.
(In hospital lobby again)
Mr. Parker: Dr. Sanchez.
Doctor: Jeff, hi. Nancy.
Mrs. Parker: Thank you for coming...we're so glad you're able to be here.
Doctor: Of course.
Mr. Parker: How is she?
Doctor: Jeff, your mother's had a stroke. This is serious, but she's been responding really well. Her vital signs are good. She's s*ab.
Mr. Parker: Is she going to be ok?
Doctor: A lot of people fully recover from a stroke like this, but it's early. We're going to need some time to determine what the repurcussions are.
Mrs. Parker: Thank you.
Doctor: We have reason to be positive here.
Mr. Parker: Ok, thanks.
(Dr. Sanchez leaves and Max enters)
Liz: Max.
Max: Hey.
Liz: My grandmother just had a stroke.
Max: Oh, I'm sorry....how are you doing, you ok?
Liz: Yeah, thanks.....everyone this is Max.
Mr. Parker: Hi there.
Max: Hi.
Kyle: So, what are you doing here?
Max: My cousin got into a car accident.
Liz: I'm sorry.
Max: I don't think it's serious. I better go find out how he's doing.
(Outside the hospital, Max starts car and sees Kyle waiting to talk to him)
Kyle: So, how's your cousin?
Max: He's going to be ok.
Kyle: Your cousin wasn't in an accident, was he?
Max: It was a mistake.
Kyle: Max....I know that something happened between you and Liz the day of the sh**ting. That you helped her out or whatever. She was shaken up and you calmed her down and I appreciate that. But what I don't appreciate is that ever since then, you've been all over her. I see it, Max. My friends see it, the entire school sees it. Now, I like Liz...a lot, and I don't want you around her.
Max: Believe me, I can see that.
(Max drives off)
(At Valenti home)
Sheriff: Hey, improving your mind, eh?
Sheriff: How was your day?
Kyle: Just got back from the hospital.
Sheriff: The hospital?
Kyle: Liz's grandma had a stroke.
Sheriff: I'm sorry to hear that.
Kyle: They think she's going to be alright though.
Sheriff: Give my regards to the family, will ya?
Kyle: Yeah....
Sheriff: Kyle, is something bugging you?
Kyle: Just girl troubles...nothing you'd understand.
(Sherriff turns tv off)
Sheriff: Why don't you try me?
Kyle: Alright, let me just ask you then. When you and mom, back when things were good if you can remember that far back, did you ever feel like you didn't know what was going on with her? Like she was just going through the motions, like there was something else on her mind all the time?
Sheriff: Is that what's going on with Liz? Is something on her mind?
Kyle: Why am I talking to you about this? I'm like deranged.
Sheriff: What else is on her mind? School stuff?
Kyle: No, no...just like someone else, maybe.
Sheriff: Does this have anything to do with that Max kid?
Kyle: What...the entire country knows?
Sheriff: Kyle, listen to me. I don't want you getting mixed up with that kid.
Kyle: What are you talking about? What do you care about Max Evans?
Sheriff: Kyle, I don't want you around him. Do you hear me?
Kyle: Yeah.
(Exam going on in classroom)
(Michael changes answers of one of the jocks that b*at up Max)
(At Max's locker)
Liz: Max, hey.
Max: Hey, how's your grandmother?
Liz: We're waiting, but I think she's going to be ok. I mean, if anyone can pull through this, it's her. She's so full of life. I was thinking that when she gets better, I'd really love for you to meet her.
Max: I hope she's ok.
Liz: So, about last night.
Max: Yeah, I shouldn't of come. Totally.
Liz: No, I'm glad you did. It really meant a lot that you were there. I'm just really sorry that it got so awkward.
Max: It was a mistake. I mean, you had your family there...and Kyle.
Liz: I know I shouldn't have called...
Max: Yeah, you shouldn't have probably. We said we agreed to, you know....see ya later, Liz.
(Max leaves a bit frustrated)
(In bathroom, Max knocks down a stall wall)
Michael: Ow.
Michael: Gandhi feeling frustrated?
Max: Shut up.
Michael: Let me guess...you're in love with a girl and she's with another guy.
Max: You realize that you can be really annoying, right?
Michael: I got something else that's gonna cheer you up.
(Kyle can't open his locker)
Max: What the hell are you doing?
Michael: What am I doing?
Max: What are you doing?
Michael: I'm helping you out.
Max: No, you're not helping me out. You promised me that you wouldn't do anything to those guys.
Michael: I promised I wouldn't hurt those guys.
Max: You're putting us in danger, Michael.
Michael: You're the one who put us in danger when you saved Liz. You're the one who screwed up.
Max: Yeah, and I'd do it again right now.
Michael: Let's hope we can trust her.
Max: We can trust her.
Michael: Well, I don't trust anyone these days.
(Liz is sitting on a couch in a hallway at school and Maria comes by)
Maria: Liz, how's she doing?
Liz: She's ok...we're just going to wait and see.
Maria: Come here. So what are you doing at school?
(Liz lies down on Maria's lap and Maria starts twirling Liz's hair)
Liz: I was at the hospital all night. My parents just wanted me to take a break. My mom said she'd page me if anything changed.
Maria: Well, you know, you should be at home then...binging on junk food and Rosie.
(Liz sits up)
Liz: Maria, I'm getting this really weird feeling from Max.
Maria: What kind of feeling?
Liz: It's like he's pulling away or something...he can't even be pulling away because we're not together to begin with, but I feel him like avoiding me.
Maria: Well, wasn't that the whole agreement, that you guys wouldn't be seen together for awhile.
Liz: Yeah, but it's different. I saw Max before and he had this...like this tone like I was his enemy or something.
Maria: Maybe you're just reading into this too much. I mean, with everything that's going on.
Liz: Maybe.
(Bell rings)
Liz: So, I'll just, I'll see you at work.
Maria: Work? No way you're working tonight, Liz.
Liz: No, Stephanie's on vacation, Karen's pregnant, and those tooth people are going to inv*de. I cannot leave you by yourself.
Maria: Liz, you should be with your family, ok? I can handle the Crashdown.
Liz: Are you sure?
Maria: Absolutely, and besides, I'm not alone. I have Agnes.
(At Crashdown...the place is packed and there are some frustrated customers)
["Mistaken" by Save Ferris is playing]
Customer: I've been here half an hour.
Maria: Enjoy your meal. Enjoy your meal.
Customer: Thanks.
Customer: Miss, can I order now, please?
Maria: Yes, one second.
Maria: Hi, what can I get for you, sir?
Orthodontist: Well, lemme ask you. Would you recommend the Will Smith burger over the Tommy Lee Jones Bacon basket?
Maria: Agnes, can you get that guy's order, please?
Orthodontist: So which one would you recommend?
Maria: The first one.
Orthodontist: The Will Smith?
(Agnes walks out, Maria follows)
Maria: Agnes! What are you doing?
Agnes: I'm on break.
Maria: Break? You're on a break? You just had a break!
Agnes: They'll get their food when they get their food.
(Maria gets out her cedar oil and starts sniffing it)
Maria: Oh no. No no no no no no no.
(Isabel walks by with two of her friends)
Maria (to Agnes): Isabel.
Maria (to Isabel): Isabel.
Isabel: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Maria: I need to talk to you.
Isabel: I'll meet you guys at the movie.
Isabel: I thought we agreed that you would never address me until we'd established complete privacy.
Maria: Ok, I am going to hate myself for this but I need to ask you for a favor that will leave me forever endebted to you. I am so d*ad here. Will you help me wait tables?
Isabel: You're kidding, right?
Maria: Please.
Isabel: To put this as succinctly as possible, I'm not really a service oriented person.
Maria: Wait wait wait. Liz's grandmother is in the hospital. Ok, and if she doesn't think that I can do this, it's just going to give her one more thing to worry about. Please. Look, it's not for me, it's for Liz.
Isabel: Well, since you put it that way...no.
(At hospital)
Mr. Parker: Well, your grandmother was hiking in Yosemite. And she came across this guy who was deer hunting.
Mrs. Parker: And it wasn't even deer season.
Mr. Parker: Well, I think it was. But anyway, he's hunting inside the national park.
Mrs. Parker: And it was off season, too.
Mr. Parker: Anyway, she arrested him.
Liz: Who, the hunter?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, it was him and his brother and their buddy, too, right?
Mrs. Parker: Right.
Mr. Parker: Made a citizen's arrest.
Mrs. Parker: And you should have seen your grandma. She's dragging these 3 g*n, beer-guzzling hunters into the sherriff's office. It made national news, right?
Liz: She's so incredible.
PA/Intercom: CODE BLUE, ICU, ROOM 104, CODE BLUE, ICU, ROOM 104.
Mr. Parker: Oh my God. It's her.
Doctor: Charge 200...clear.
Assistant: Nothing.
Doctor: Charge 300....clear.
Assistant: Nothing.
Doctor: Charge 360...clear.
(Later on at the hospital, after Crashdown closed, Maria visits)
Maria: She could still come out of it.
Liz: Well, the doctor doesn't think so. I saw it in his eyes.
Liz: I can't believe this. I mean, you saw her yesterday, you know? She was so full of life.
Maria: I know.
Liz: I can't believe I went out. I was out all day. I wasted all that time in the video store. I had all this time that I could have just spent with her and I left. What was I thinking?
Liz: I know, it's irrational. I'm being irrational.
Maria: Liz, I'm glad you're being irrational. I mean, this is hard. This is really, really hard. Are you sure you don't want me to stay?
Liz: Yeah, it's fine, but thank you.
(Maria hugs Liz)
Maria: Ok, I love you.
Liz: I love you, too.
(At school, janitor opens up Kyle's locker)
Janitor: Whoa, that's weird.
Kyle: What?
Janitor: Looks like it melted.
(At Evans home, Max is lying on bed and and sees Isabel looking down at him while wearing a Crashdown uniform)
Max: No way!
Isabel: Shut up. Temporary situation.
Max: Why are you...? You're covering for Liz, aren't you?
Isabel: So....depressed? Feeling sorry for yourself? Angry at the world?
Max: All of the above.
Isabel: Listen, I heard Liz's grandma isn't doing so well. She could probably use someone to talk to.
Max: She's got Maria. She's got Kyle.
Isabel: Who did she call when she first found out?
Max: You're the one who's always telling me I have to stay away from her. What are you saying, Is?
Isabel: I'm just saying that, you know, if something like this happened to grandma or grandpa, I wouldn't want to be kept away from who I really needed. So anyway, wish me luck. Or should I say, wish the orthodontists luck.
(At Crashdown, customer is trying to get Isabel's attention)
["Someday" by Sugar Ray playing]
Customer: Excuse me, ma'am.
Isabel: Ma'am? Look, you're not going to get anywhere calling me ma'am.
Customer: I ordered this burger well done. Well. Not rare. Well.
(Isabel leaves with plate and heats the food with her power)
Isabel: It looks well done to me.
Isabel's Friend #1: Isabel Evans? Cleaning people's remains?
Isabel's Friend #2: Isabel...image means everything is this world, you know that.
Isabel's Friend #1: We base our lives on that.
Isabel's Friend #2: And if you're seen in this capacity, it's not just you that suffers. It brings us all down.
Isabel: Chill out.
(Maria comes by with a cup of coffee)
Maria: Hi, can you heat this? You're a genius.
(At Max's house)
Liz: Can I talk to you for a second?
Liz: So I've been thinking about why I called you, you know, that day from the hospital. Because I knew it was against the rules and it led to that whole awkward moment. But, I called anyway. Sort of couldn't help it. Because when something like this happens, what's happening to my grandmother, you don't listen to logic to what you're supposed to do. You listen to your heart, and my heart told me to call you. Because you were the one person in the world that I really wanted to talk to. Max, I've been thinking something, and I'm really not going to be able to get it out of my head unless I just say it. I'm really sorry for asking you this, but is there, is there anything that you could do for my grandmother, you know, do?
Max: Liz, when I saved you, it was because you were sh*t, and there was a b*llet in you. Something was happening to you that wasn't supposed to happen. It was before your time. But I can't just heal people. I'm not God.
Liz: I know.
(Outside school where Kyle and his football friends are walking down a path)
Kyle: So the locker just melted closed. How do you explain that? Metal's got to be like 500 degrees to melt.
Jock: Maybe it was that Max guy, getting back at us.
Kyle: Getting back at us for what?
Jock: We b*at the crap out of the bastard.
Kyle: What?
Jock: You're the one that told us he was hitting on Liz.
Kyle: Idiots.
(At hospital, outside Grandma's room)
Kyle:How's she doing?
Liz: She's ok.
Kyle: Listen, I need to talk to you.
(Outside hospital)
Kyle: Liz, I'm sorry. I know you have other things on your mind right now, but I just wanted to tell you that I had nothing to do with what happened to Max.
Liz: What happened to Max?
Kyle: You know...Tommy and Paulie, those guys. They're degenerates and I had no idea they were going to do that.
Liz: Do what?
Kyle: You know, b*at him up. You didn't know?
Liz: Why would they do something like that?
Kyle: I don't know why. They were just trying to help out.
Liz: Help out? How would that help out?
Kyle: I told them it was wrong, Liz.
Liz: How could you be friends with people who would do that?
Kyle: C'mon Liz. They're good guys. You...
Liz: No, they're not good guys.
Kyle: Why are you getting like this?
Liz: Like what?
Kyle: I'm trying to explain something to you and you're letting it get all out of hand.
Liz: You must have said something to them about Max. They must have had a reason to do what they did.
Kyle: Why are you so damn worried about Max?
Liz: Because he got att*cked for no reason. He's the last person in the world who would ever want to hurt someone.
Kyle: So, that's it, isn't it? You and Max are together.
Liz: No, we're not......neither are we.
Kyle: What?
Liz: Kyle, I just, I really don't think that we should be together anymore.
Kyle: So, you're going to break up with me because my friends knocked Max around?
Liz: No, it's complicated.
Kyle: It's because of Max.
Liz: No, I told you that Max...
Kyle: Listen, Max is trouble. My dad's got an eye on him.
Liz: I have to go see my grandmother. I'm sorry Kyle.
(In Grandma's room)
Liz: Mom, Dad? Hi guys. I got you a cup.
Mrs. Parker: Thank you.
Liz: Got it?
Liz: Why don't you guys go outside and get some air?
Mr. Parker: You sure?
Liz: Yeah, I'll be fine, ok?
(Liz sits down next to Grandma's bed)
Liz: Grandma...grandma...
(Max enters)
Max: Hey.
Max: I can't stop, you know what's going to happen, but maybe I can help you say goodbye.
(Max tries to revive grandma, but can't)
Max: I'm sorry.
Liz: Thank you.
Grandma: Honeybear.
(Liz looks up and sees her Grandma, then looks back to the bed and sees her Grandma still lying on bed)
Grandma: Let me guess...Max.
Liz: Grandma, I guess the thing I wanted to say to you more than anything else is just how much you mean to me, and somehow you just always manage to make me feel really special, and I, I just don't know what I'm going to do without you.
Grandma: You're going to do just fine, and I want to tell you something. When I look at you so excited about life, I see myself, and that's a gift, a gift that I will take with me, that I'll always treasure. Promise me one thing, that you'll follow your heart wherever it takes you. Trust it. Will you do that?
Liz: I will.
(Flatline)
(Outside Crashdown Cafe)
["I Love You" by Sarach McLachlan starts playing]
Voice-Over: The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending.
Liz: Max, thank you for...
Max: Shhh. It's ok.
Liz: Good night.
Max: Good night.
Voice-Over: And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown.
(Liz turns around and hugs Max.)
Voice-Over: And once you do, you can never go back.
(Scene fades out with Liz and Max hugging each other under the Crashdown Cafe sign) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x03 - Leaving Normal"} | foreverdreaming |
"Missing"
Episode: 5
5th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA04
Written by: Jon Harmon Feldman
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 3, 1999
(Streets at night, Liz walking home)
Voice-Over: It's funny how the world changes sometimes, how the streets you walked your entire life seem darker, colder. How the silence isn't so quiet anymore. How eyes you've barely even noticed now look at nothing but you. How the walk home every night is no longer routine, but a victory. And then you begin to wonder...maybe it's not the world that's changed. Maybe it's just you.
(Liz discovers her journal is missing)
Voice-Over: And then, suddenly...you begin to wonder all over again.
(Liz at Maria's house)
Maria: Liz, what's wrong?
Liz: My journal's missing.
Maria: And?
Liz: Maria, I wrote everything in that journal.
Maria: Everything?
Liz: Things about Max.
Maria: Personal things about Max?
Liz: Everything.
Maria: What?! Like where he's from, what he is, I mean, what he isn't?
Liz: I mean...everything.
(Opening credits)
(Michael wakes up suddenly and tries to draw the image he saw)
(Michael wakes up Max at 3 in the morning)
Michael: Hey man, what's going on?
Max: Since you asked, REM sleep. Please tell me this is important, Michael.
Michael: It is. I dreamt it, Max. I've seen it more clearly that I ever have.
Max: What?
Michael: This. It's what I saw that night at Valenti's office. When I touched the key, that's what I saw.
Max: You saw a semicircle?
Michael: No no no. I saw this, Max. This.
Max: And what is this?
Michael: I don't know yet. But I saw it. I didn't even remember until tonight. I had to tell somebody.
Max: And I appreciate that I'm the one you chose to wake at 3 in the morning to tell that you've been dreaming about semicircles, but maybe we can talk about this in the morning?
Michael: Yeah, ok. In the morning.
(Michael gestures to the floor)
Michael: Would you mind?
Max: No, no. Go ahead.
(Michael unrolls the sleeping bag and goes to sleep)
(Maria and Liz talking at school the next morning)
Maria: What we need to do is reconstruct the crime.
Liz: Reconstruct the crime?
Maria: Motive and opportunity, Liz. That's the key. I mean, this is Roswell. You can't just ignore things like this.
Liz: Look, I told you there was nothing unusual. I was studying with Alex yesterday and...
Maria: Alex? Ok, ok, we have opportunity.
Liz: Yeah, well, we were in my room and then he left and went home and...and...wait a second.
Maria: Hmmm?
Liz: Why am I reconstructing a crime when there is absolutely no crime to reconstruct? It's misplaced, Maria. It's not stolen.
Maria: Yeah, until we ask ourselves, "Why would Alex want the diary?" Has he been feeling ignored, curious, asking questions we don't answer, seeking explanations we don't give? Come on. And what better way to find those answers than in your journal? Now that's a motive. Was he alone in your room?
Liz: This is ridiculous.
Maria: Liz, I'm your friend, ok? I'm just trying to help you out here. Ok, so was he alone? Alex? At any time?
Liz: Well, yeah he was. I went to go get a soda.
Maria: So he was alone...
(Alex walks up to Liz and Maria)
Alex: Ladies...
Liz: Hi Alex.
Maria: Alex!
Alex: Uh, so what are we talking about?
Liz: Nothing really important.
Maria: Nothing important.
Alex: Ah, nothing game again. Ok. Well, I just wanted to remind you about the McCarthy thing that we gotta do.
Liz: McCarthy?
Alex: The oral report.
Liz: Oh yeah.
Alex: So we should get together sometime and talk about that.
Liz: Yeah, sure.
Alex: So, I'm off to gym. Dodge ball. Ok, so...wish me luck.
Liz: Good luck!
Alex: Thank you very much.
(Alex walks off)
Liz: How am I going to tell Max?
Maria: My advice...over drinks.
(Max is having trouble with a vending machine)
Liz: You hungry?
Max: Oh, no. It's this machine. It's always acting up.
Liz: Can I ask you something?
Max: Sure, but I have to be honest with you, Liz. At this point, I don't think I have any secrets left.
Max: Liz?
Liz: Look, Max...there's something that you should know because something happened...
(Michael interrupts)
Michael: Hope I'm not interrupting.
Liz: No, you're not.
Max: Liz?
Liz: Um, it's nothing, Max. It's nothing important.
Liz (to Michael): We...we just bumped into each other because I was walking this way from...and then he was coming that way, and we just...
Michael: Interesting...bye, Liz.
(Liz walks off)
Max: You said you'd be nicer to her.
Michael: And you said you'd stay away from her. Let's call it even.
(Liz is sitting in a dark classroom thinking about what to do)
Topolsky: Liz?
Liz: Ms. Topolsky?
Liz: Oh, um...yeah, I was...I was just leaving.
Topolsky: Not on my account, I hope.
Liz: Oh, no, not at all. I was...I'm just...late for something.
Topolsky: Liz, I'm sure you have a fine reason for sitting alone in a dark classroom, but I wouldn't be much of a guidance counselor if I didn't ask what that reason is.
Liz: Oh, it's nothing. Yeah...everything's great.
Topolsky: Sometimes we think we're all alone, but we're not. There are people all around us willing and eager to help. Maybe I'm not the first person you'd turn to in a moment like this, but I want you to know I'm not only a guidance counselor.
Liz: You're not?
Topolsky: No, I'm also a friend...now, does that make it any easier?
Liz: Oh...yeah...it does.
Topolsky: Good.
Topolsky: Is everything really ok, Liz?
Liz: Everything's great. Thank you.
(Liz leaves the classroom)
(Maria sees Alex walking in a hallway and walks up to him)
["Pick a Part That's New" by Stereophonics is playing]
Maria: Hey.
Alex: Maria De Luca, ladies and gentlemen. Where's Parker?
Maria: Oh, Liz? I don't know. Anyway, she's dealing with some stuff, so...
Alex: Let me guess...Kyle's making a pathetic attempt at regaining boyfriend status.
Maria: No no. Nothing like that.
Alex: Well, then what was it? Or is this one of these things that you can no longer talk with Alex about?
Maria: Look, I...I know it must really bother you the way Liz and I clam up every time you come around.
Alex: Yeah, it's a little annoying.
Maria: Yeah, of course, and I'm sure it's our fault. I mean, actually...I know it's our fault and I just hope that...
Alex: What?
Maria: I just hope that it wouldn't cause you to do anything...you know...out of character...
Alex: Ok, what are you talking about?
Maria: Liz's diary is missing and...
Alex: Wait...wait a second. Are you accusing me of taking Liz's diary?
Maria: No no no. I'm not saying that at all. No. It's just that Liz and I were running through the facts of the case...you know, motive and opportunity...
Alex: So Liz is accusing me?
Maria: No no. That's not what I'm saying either. It's just that, based on certain factors, you emerge as a credible suspect...but I know that that couldn't be true, right? I mean, it couldn't, could it?
Alex: Ok, you know what? The next time you and Liz feel the urge to share with me, you know...feel the impulse to really open up...do me a favor, ok? Let it pass.
(Alex walks off)
(Alex is at his locker and slams it very hard)
Topolsky: That's school property, you know.
Alex: Oh, Ms. Topolsky. I didn't know anyone was....I'm sorry about that.
Topolsky: Actually, it's not the locker I'm worried about, Alex.
Alex: Oh, me? Oh, no. You don't have to do that. I'm fine...really. I'm, I'm great!
Topolsky: Alex, could I talk with you in my office for a minute?
Alex: Yeah.
(In Topolsky's office)
Alex: No, it's just...you know, things change. People change. You accept it and you move on.
Topolsky: Who's changed, Alex? You?
Alex: No, not me.
Topolsky: Your girlfriend?
Alex: No, I don't have a...no girlfriend, Ms. Topolsky.
Topolsky: Well, that doesn't surprise me. Teenage girls can never spot the good ones. I mean, look at Liz Parker....dating Kyle Valenti. He's a little obvious, don't you think?
Alex: Yeah, well...you know, apparently Liz is going through some stuff right now, so...
Topolsky: Stuff?
Alex: It's stupid. Liz loses her diary, and the next thing I know, Inspector De Luca tells me that they have me pinned as the main suspect. These are my good friends, you know?
Topolsky: Would you like me to talk to them, Alex? Try to straighten this out?
Alex: No no. It's ok. I can deal....well, anyway, I'm late for class, so...
(Alex leaves and Topolsky calls someone on the phone)
Man on Phone: Control.
Topolsky: 7-3-2-9-0
Man on Phone: What have you got?
Topolsky: Something interesting has happened. Any chance of sending me some backup?
(Michael shows up at an art class that he doesn't go to very regularly)
Teacher: That's good, Kelly. Remember to maintain your perspective.
Teacher: Mr. Guerin. To what to we owe this pleasure?
Michael: What pleasure?
Teacher: You, of course. I mean, it's Thursday, and I don't think I recall seeing you since Monday...of last week.
Michael: Yeah, I'm sorry about that...but I kinda just really want to draw.
Teacher: You kinda just really want to draw?
Michael: Yeah...I didn't when they first made me take this class, but now I do. I'm just gonna take this easel here...
Teacher: Keep your lines clean, Sydney.
(Kyle walks up to Liz and sits next to her)
Liz: Hi, Kyle.
Kyle: So, you and Max Evans now?
Liz: No no. We're...we're just friends.
Kyle: Oh, friends. Well, that is a popular position these days, Liz...isn't it?
Liz: Look, Kyle. I know that you're angry with me, but this isn't easy for me either. If you could just like, try and understand...
Kyle: You know the best part about being broken up, Liz? I don't have to try anymore.
(Kyle walks off angrily)
(Max is looking at some books at the UFO center)
Max's Boss: That's a good read.
Max: Yeah, you know...I was, I was just looking...
Max's Boss: Of course, Szcerbiak's theory that the military cover-up of the 1947 landing was financed by an international consortium lacks credible evidence to support it. Still, it debunks several fallacies that have long troubled me. But, if you're going to be working here, for my money, these are the books to read.
(Max's boss is flipping through books)
Max's Boss: Walton...garbage. Ah yes, Atherton.
Max: "Among Us"
Max's Boss: A bit on the alternative side. Atherton had an underground following...never truly embraced by the mainstream, such that it is. But it may be of some interest to a true believer like yourself. Take a look. Let me know what you think. I know you want answers, Max.
Max: Yes, I do.
(Liz appears)
Max's Boss: Well, go ahead. We both know she's more interesting than I am.
Max: Hi.
Liz: Hi...listen, can I talk to you for a second?
Max: Sure.
Liz: Not here.
Max: Ok.
(Max and Liz go into another room)
Max: So, what's going on?
Liz: Um...not much, actually. You?
Max: Not much. You know, we probably could have had this conversation out front.
Liz: Yeah, right...um...we could have. Uh...there is actually one thing...what I didn't tell you before is, Max, um...I, I keep this diary.
Max: Still not exactly back-room conversation, Liz.
Liz: Well, it's actually more of like a journal. Because that's what scientists call their diaries. Look...anyway, in this journal, I generally write everything that happened to me. Everything important, anyways. And lately that seems to include quite a few things.
Max: And one of those things would be about...
(Max gestures to himself)
Liz: Yeah...right. So that kind of leads us to the problem...the problem being that that journal with the stuff about....that stuff about you and the sh**ting and that whole entire day and everything....that journal is kind of just...missing.
Max: Missing?
Liz: Not missing.
Max: Not missing?
Liz: No, it's misplaced.
Max: Misplaced?
Liz: Temporarily misplaced.
Max: Right...
Liz: Yeah....
Max: Ok...
Liz: No, I'm sure that there are...I'm sure that it's somewhere stupid, like under my bed or something.
Max: What exactly did you write in this thing, Liz? How bad is it?
Liz: I'm gonna find it, Max. So, just....don't worry about anything, ok? And tomorrow, after I've found it...we're gonna have a really good laugh.
Liz: Just...give me one day, Max. Ok? And just...don't tell anyone, please. I promise you, Max, that I'm going to take care of it.
(Liz is frantically searching everywhere for her journal)
Liz: Where is it? Where are you?
Mrs. Parker: Oh, there you are. Alex just called. Although I'm quite sure that you were in no great rush to speak with him.
Liz: Um, how would you know that?
Mrs. Parker: How would I know what?
Liz: That I might not want to speak with Alex. Why would you say that, mom? I've never even told you that.
Mrs. Parker: No, I guess you didn't.
Liz: Mom, that's personal and private. I mean, have I ever even said anything to you about Alex or...or Alex and me?
Mrs. Parker: No, I don't recall you saying anything. You're right.
Liz: I'm just saying, mom, that it seems a little strange that you would say something like that...you know, that you would...that you would conclude something that I've never even told you, that something that I've only even written...
Mrs. Parker: Is everything all right with you?
Liz: Oh...um, yeah. Sorry...I've, I've just been edgy all day. Sorry.
Mrs. Parker: I'll see you later.
Liz: Ok.
(Mrs. Parker leaves and Liz resumes her search)
(At Crashdown, Michael is drawing the sphere image)
["Take a Picture" by Filter is playing]
Isabel: Michael, do you really think you should be doing that here?
Michael: Doing what?
Isabel: Drawing that thing...whatever it is...in public...here.
Michael: It's getting clearer.
Isabel: It's getting weirder is what it's getting. Max, will you please tell Michael this isn't a good idea?
(Max is busy reading a UFO book)
Isabel: Max, you ok?
Max: Yeah yeah. No, it's just Atherton. Listen to this. He says...this guy is nuts...that aliens wouldn't possess the lung capacity or brain capacity for more than short-term survival on Earth. Brain capacity???
Isabel: Max, will you say something to Michael please? He'll listen to you.
Max: Wow, that's getting pretty good.
Michael: I've been working on it in art class.
Isabel: Max, this isn't right. I mean, we're getting careless.
Michael: Isabel, it's just a sketch, all right?
Isabel: We can't keep pretending that what we do doesn't matter, that what we do isn't noticed, because it is. And if we're not careful, then...
(Kyle and group of friends walks into Crashdown, Kyle walks over to Max)
Kyle: I'm onto you, Evans.
Isabel: What was that about?
Max: I have no idea.
(Max goes to Liz's house and is a little panicked)
Max: Kyle stole it. Kyle stole your journal.
Liz: No, Max...don't go Maria on me, ok? It's not stolen, it's just...it's misplaced.
Max: "I'm onto you"...just now, he looked right at me and said, "I'm onto you"...it means he read your journal, Liz. It means he knows about me.
Liz: No, Max. It's not about the journal. It's about us, ok? Kyle thinks that you had something to do with our breaking up. And he's not a thief. You know, the journal has only been missing for one day. Kyle hasn't been in my house in over a week.
Max: And the Crashdown?
Liz: No, not there either.
(The door opens as Mrs. Parker comes back home; Liz pushes Max into her room so her mom won't see him)
Mrs. Parker: Hello?
Max: Your room, huh?
(Max walks over to a table and notices a CD)
Max: Good album.
(Max has a flashback)
Max: He was here.
Liz: Who was here?
Max: Kyle.
Liz: No, Max. I told you. Kyle hasn't been here for over a week.
Max: I saw him.
Liz: You saw him?
Max: I had a flash, Liz. When things get intense, heightened, sometimes we feel things...see things. He was here, Liz.
(Michael is enthusiastically working on his drawing of the dome)
["Novacane" by Beck is playing]
(Kyle is playing basketball with a group of guys...Liz walks up to him)
Kyle: Hi.
Liz: Hi.
Liz: I got the CD, Kyle. Thanks.
Kyle: Oh yeah? That's great. Your dad let me in.
Liz: Kyle, I know when two people break up, it's...it's not easy. It's not as easy as they thought it might be, you know?
Kyle: Yeah.
Liz: You know, these people...they might say or do things that they don't mean, you know? Uncharacteristic things. Maybe they're just confused, you know? Looking for answers and reasons. Do you know what I mean?
Kyle: Yeah, I do. That's why I want you to know that you can ask me anything, Liz. I don't have any secrets from you.
Liz: Is that what you think, Kyle? I have secrets? Do you think it's those secrets that broke us up?
Kyle: Well, maybe, Liz.
Liz: So when you were in my room, alone, you had a chance to discover what those secrets were. Isn't that right?
Kyle: What? What are you so scared of?
Liz: What?
Kyle: What secrets are you so afraid of me knowing? The truth about Max Evans? About why you've been so weird ever since that day at the Crashdown? Is that what your secrets are?
Liz: Kyle, this is serious. What you have, I really need back.
Kyle: We all want something back, Liz. It's too bad life isn't always fair.
(Kyle walks off)
Liz: Kyle...
(At school, Michael's drawing is on display)
Isabel: This isn't good, you know.
Max: No, I see that.
Michael: It's pretty good, huh? I didn't even know I could paint. But Mr. Cowan said it's the best thing that's come out of this class all year.
Isabel: Michael, this isn't right.
Michael: What isn't?
Isabel: A public display...your thing just sitting here.
Michael: This is not a thing, all right. It's...I'm not exactly sure what it is, but...
Max: What Isabel is trying to say is that it's not a very good idea. It could be dangerous.
Michael: Dangerous? How can it be dangerous? It doesn't mean anything to anyone, including myself.
Max: But Michael, that's not really the point. The point is, we shouldn't be taking chances like this.
Michael: You did.
Max: Yes, I did. That's right.
Michael: But, what? You can take chances and I can't? You can roll the dice with our lives, but if anyone else does, I mean...God forbid, you know...
Max: I saved someone's life, Michael. I wasn't dabbling in the arts.
(Michael walks off)
(Topolsky and some agents have a meeting)
Topolsky: I think Liz Parker's diary provides one of the most compelling leads I've ever encountered since I joined the unit.
Agent: Wait a second...I cut my vacation short for a diary?...ok, sorry.
Topolsky: This is not just a diary, agent. This is potential proof of alien contact. Not from a crackpot farmer or a drunk somewhere, but from a straight A student. Treasurer of the Roswell science club.
Agent: So, uh...any idea where this diary might be?
Topolsky: I think I do. This is where we should get started. She's been having a problem with her boyfriend.
(Liz is at Valenti home)
Max: Hey, I'm here if you need me.
Liz: Kyle? Sheriff Valenti?
Max: Someone should tell the sheriff that deadbolts don't work as well when you leave your door open.
Liz: Max, we shouldn't be in here.
Max: You're right, so let's make this quick. Which way is Kyle's room?
Liz: Max...
Max: Look, we'll get in, we'll grab your journal, and we'll get out. And in the process, we'll save my life. So which way is Kyle's room?
(Someone else is in the house, probably one of the agents)
(Max and Liz goto Kyle's room and start searching)
Max: You start in the closet. I'll start here.
Max: It's not in here. Any luck?
Liz: No.
(Max finds a picture of Kyle and Liz hidden under the bed)
Liz: It's not in here, Max. Look, maybe Kyle doesn't have it.
Max: You mean, maybe Kyle doesn't have it anymore.
(A shadow passes by)
Max: Wait here.
(Kyle comes back home)
Liz: Max, it's Kyle.
Max: Come on, let's go.
(Max and Liz leave out the back)
(In art class)
Teacher: I see you've chosen your favorite subject.
Michael: Yeah, you know I just can't seem to get it out of my head.
Teacher: Yeah, I see. That's quite good, Michael. It is.
Michael: Thank you.
Teacher: But don't you think it's time you drew something else?
Michael: Something else?
Teacher: Well, when the class drew fruit, you drew this. When the class sketched the human form, you drew this again. You're a talented artist, Mr. Guerin. But you can't go through the semester drawing only a geodesic dome.
Michael: A what?
Teacher: A geodesic dome. Perhaps before your time. It's a type of house, architecturally postmodern.
Michael: A house...
Teacher: As I was saying, Mr. Guerin, an artist of your ability can draw something else...something besides this. Perhaps...
(Teacher gestures to a statue that the rest of the class is sketching)
(Michael complies and draws a stick figure)
Teacher: Stick with the dome.
(Max, Isabel, and Michael outside at a picnic bench)
Max: Michael's painting isn't our biggest problem right now.
Isabel: Does that imply that there's a problem I'm not aware of?
Max: But before I tell you, you need to know that...it's not Liz's fault. You see, Liz keeps a journal. Everything that happens to her, she writes down. Including that day at the cafe...what I did...who I am...who you are...
Max: But you can't blame her, all right? You've got to promise me...
Michael: Blame her for what?
Max: For losing her journal...
Isabel: Oh, my God.
Max: I know it sounds bad, but it'll turn up. I know it will. But until then, I'm handling it. Michael, did you hear what I said? Michael?
(At Crashdown after hours)
["Torn" by Creed is playing]
Liz: Sorry, we're closed.
Liz: Michael...um, I'm sorry, the kitchen's closed.
Michael: That's all right. I just ate.
Liz: Um, you know, actually this is for employees only.
Michael: Max told me what happened.
Liz: Oh...he did?
Liz: What did he say?
Michael: He said you wrote it all down, Liz.
Liz: He said that?
Liz: What do you want?
Michael: I want you to know it wasn't smart to write all those things down, Liz.
Liz: Yeah...I know that now.
Michael: I knew it a week ago.
Liz: Excuse me?
Michael: That was the night I sat at the first booth. Maybe you remember.
(Flashback to a week ago)
Michael: It was late like tonight and you were at the counter...writing.
Michael: Homework?
Liz: Uh, yeah...a little bit.
Michael: But it wasn't homework, was it?
Liz: No, it wasn't.
Michael: You could have put us in an awful spot, Liz. Roswell's not exactly the town you want to be unique in, if you know what I mean. You have to know who your friends are.
Michael: I had to know the risk...so I had to know what your journal said.
Liz: You took it...
Michael: I never meant for things to get out of control...it's nice to know we have at least one friend in this town.
(Michael gives the journal back to Liz)
Liz: Does Max know that you...
Michael: No...and you know what would be really great? If you didn't tell him.
Liz: But why didn't you just destroy this, Michael? Because anyone that found this would know all about you.
Michael: No...they'd know all about you, Liz.
Michael: Thank you for giving me one more reason to envy Max Evans.
(Michael turns to leave)
Michael: And you might want to get better window locks...for when your criminals happen to be human.
(Liz clutches her journal to her chest and walks off)
(Liz goes to UFO Center to find Max)
Liz: Hi.
Max: Oh, hey.
Liz: I seem to be finding myself here quite a bit lately.
Max: Maybe you'd be interested in the season pass. $19...it includes the guided tour and a box lunch.
Liz: Everything's ok, Max. I have my journal.
Max: You found it.
Liz: I guess you could say it found me. I left it at the Crashdown and a customer returned it.
Max: A customer?
Liz: A friend...a good friend.
Liz: Uh...look, Max, now that this is all over and everything, I feel I owe you an explanation to why I wrote those things.
Max: No, you don't.
Liz: No...I know you think that I was foolish, you know, to write about that day and you and everything. What I wrote in my journal, it didn't really have anything to do with science. Um...that day that you saved me, I felt something that I just had to put into words...so years from now, if anyone ever...if anyone ever touches me the way that you did, I'll know what it's supposed to feel like.
Max: So, can I see it? What you wrote?
Liz: Oh...yeah, I don't...I don't think that's a good idea.
Max: No?
Liz: No.
Max: Why? Because if I read what you wrote in your journal, I realize how you really see me.
Liz: Exactly.
(Outside at picnic benches)
Isabel: I can't believe you're still reading that.
Max: Guilty pleasure.
(Isabel gestures to Michael who's lost in thought)
Max: Michael, you ok?
Michael: Yeah. I just wish I had a few more answers. The dome, you know? I mean what's the point of having a vision if it doesn't mean anything?
Max: Patience, space boy.
Isabel: You're in an awfully good mood...does this mean that the diary...
Max: Safe and sound.
Isabel: So where was it?
Max: Liz wouldn't say. She said a good friend brought it back. Anybody want anything?
Michael: I'll go with you.
Max: Isabel?
Isabel: No thanks.
(Isabel flips through the book Max was reading)
Isabel: Boring.
(Isabel drops the book and it opens up to the last page with a picture of the author in front of his house, a geodesic dome)
Isabel: Max. Michael.
Max: What's the problem?
Isabel: This. Michael, it's your vision.
(Late an night, Liz is walking home)
["Colorblind" by Counting Crows is playing]
Voice-Over: October 28th. I've missed a few days. But in my absence I've been thinking about some things, about life before Max Evans saved me, of how I used to pray for something to happen, something to just break the routine, you know, of school and work...something that would make a small town feel bigger, that would make a small town girl feel bigger, too. And ever since I got my wish and Max Evans patched a b*llet hole 2 inches below my ribs, I realized one thing...that the bigger your world gets, the bigger your problems get, too.
(Scene fades out as Liz hides her journal behind a loose brick in the wall) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x04 - Missing"} | foreverdreaming |
"285 South"
Episode: 6
6th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA05
Written by: William Sind, Thania St. John
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 10, 1999
(Michael is searching the UFO Center after hours looking for any info about his vision. He looks up James Atherton on the computer, prints out 2 pages, and notices Max's Boss sleeping at a desk nearby. The printer whirs to life, waking Max's Boss.)
Max's Boss: What? Who's there? Hey! What do you want, you two-bit punk?
Michael: Nothing. This is all just a mistake.
Max's Boss: Huh?
Michael: It was all just one big mistake.
Owen (Deputy):You're right about that.
(Opening Credits)
Teacher: Everybody has their secrets. There isn't a person alive today who's what they appear to be. Exposing these secrets is the job of the...historian. Even the most normal of us has extraordinary qualities just waiting to be uncovered.
Voice-Over: Listening to Mr. Sommers, I realized how strange it must be for Max, Isabel, and Michael not to even know their own history. And how scary it would be if anyone discovered it before they did.
Teacher: For tonight's assignment, I've paired you together. It is your job as...historians, to find out as much as you can about your partner by asking these specific questions, and then writing up an oral history report for tomorrow.
Maria: Uh, excuse me, but these are kinda personal, don't you think?
Teacher: Exactly. Personal is the goal of the professional biographer. And who knows? You just might make a new friend. Ok, so the partners are as follows: Daskal with Hausman, Kalinowski with Nell. Parker with Evans...that's I. Evans. M. Evans is with...Valenti. Papas with Cooney, De Luca with...Guerin.
Maria: Wait, did you just say Guerin?
Teacher: Yes, Michael Guerin.
Maria: No, no, I'm sorry. That's unacceptable.
Teacher: I beg your pardon?
Maria: I mean, the guy's not even here.
Teacher: Well, then it'll be like true field work, tracking down your subject. Trussell with Wolf.
(Liz and Maria talk as they leave class)
Maria: I mean, this is like cruel and unusual education. I mean, aren't there, like, Geneva convention rules against this sort of thing?
Liz: Could this possibly get any worse?
Kyle: All right, so let's meet at the Crashdown after school today, get started on some of these questions. Get to know each other a little.
Liz: I can't believe this. He has been acting so weird since we broke up.
Max: It'll be fine.
Woman: Max Evans? Phone call in the office.
(Topolsky and Mr. Sommers are chatting in the classroom)
Teacher: Thanks again for your suggestion. These...these questions are so insightful.
Topolsky: My pleasure, Steve. As you know, I did my graduate thesis on the importance of oral history in psychology. So, did you pair up the students the way I suggested?
Teacher: Oh, yes, yes. It should prove quite interesting.
Topolsky: Sometimes you end up with the most revealing details, just by putting the right people together.
(Max arrives at police station)
Max's Boss: Evans! Oh, thank God you're here.
Max: You ok? I mean, you look--
Max's Boss: Shaken. Yes...shaken by the entire incident. I feel so violated.
Owen: Max Evans? The suspect claims that he inv*de the premises at your behest.
Max's Boss: Please! He's a hoodlum. Max doesn't know people like that.
Max: Well, actually...
Max's Boss: Evans. Say it isn't so.
Max: Well, I lent him my keys so he could pick up some research we needed for class.
Michael: I lost them. The keys. So, I snuck in.
Max's Boss: I'm shocked.
Max: He wasn't trying to steal anything.
Michael: I was trying to do him a favor.
Max: I'd appreciate it if you didn't press charges. If there were any damages, I'd be happy to work them off.
Max's Boss: Well, uh...I suppose we could work something out.
Owen: If nobody's gonna press any charges, you're free to go. Pick up your stuff at the desk.
Max: Thanks.
Max's Boss: Yeah.
Max: Don't do me any more favors.
(Deputy hands copies of the 2 pages that Michael printed out to the Sheriff)
Owen: Your copies, sir.
(Max, Michael, and Isabel chatting at school)
Michael: This is it. The thing from my dreams.
Isabel: Can we get back to the part where you got arrested, please?
Michael: Look, it's over, ok? Max fixed it.
Max: No, it's not over. This is getting serious.
Michael: I know. Marathon, Texas. That's where this place is. That's where the lock is that the key fits. I'm going there.
Isabel: Have you completely lost it?
Michael: No, Isabel. I've found it. And you guys are too scared to admit it. Gimme the keys to the jeep. I want to go to Marathon.
Max: Let's just wait until we can find out more about this place.
Michael: Max, i'm connected to this thing, all right? I mean, I see it when i close my eyes. I dream about it when i go to sleep. And it's not letting me wait, no matter what you guys say.
(Michael walks off)
Max: He won't get far without a car.
Maria: Hey, wait. Uh, what's your favorite ice cream flavor? We have to do this completely q*eer history project for tomorrow.
Michael: Sorry, I'm busy.
Maria: Wait, will you just answer these questions, ok? Uh, um...who's your favorite relative?
Michael: Get lost, all right? I've gotta...
Maria: What? You've gotta what? What?
Michael: You driving somewhere?
Maria: Yeah, to the lift-off gas station to drop off a box for my mom.
Michael: The one near the highway?
Maria: Yeah. So?
Michael: So, give me a ride and I'll answer your stupid questions.
Maria: Ok.
(At Crashdown, Max and Kyle are at a booth while Isabel and Liz are at the counter)
Kyle: All right, number 4. What's your favorite TV show?
Max: I don't watch much television. You?
Kyle: America's Most Wanted. I watch it with my dad. All right, all right, let's get to the good ones. Ooh, uh...what's the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Max: Getting adopted, I guess.
Kyle: I'm gonna shed a tear.
Max: What's the best thing that ever happened to you?
Kyle: Winning the statewide junior r*fle competition.
Isabel: Your favorite flavor is vanilla?
(Liz is distracted, stealing glances at Kyle and Max at one of the booths in the Crashdown)
Isabel: Why don't you just bring them some ketchup or something?
Liz: Just bringing you guys ketchup. So, how's it going?
Max: Great.
Kyle: Yeah, we're really getting to know each other.
Liz: That's good.
Kyle: I'm glad you came over, too, 'cause i was hoping that we could skip on down to question number 8. Have you ever been in love? Hmm? How 'bout it, Evans?
Max: No.
(Maria arrives at the gas station)
Maria: You can't just make up answers.
Michael: Who said I'm making 'em up?
Maria: You do not watch the view.
Michael: Keeps me in touch with my feminine side.
Maria: Fine...you know what? I will just make up the answers for you. Help me with the box.
Michael: Bad back.
Maria: C.O.D. That's 126 bucks. And, uh...cash is preferable.
Maria: He's stealing my car...you're stealing my car.
Michael: I'm borrowing your car. Now get out.
Maria: You're telling me to get out? This is my car. Actually, it's my mother's car, and if anything happens to it, life as I know it will be over. So, wherever it goes, i go.
Michael: Fine. You had your chance.
Maria: Oh, my God. You're kidnapping me. No, wait, you're abducting me!
(Liz's cell phone rings)
Liz: Hello. Maria, is that you?
Maria: It feels kind of strange, you know? Being alone in a car with you.
Liz: In a car alone with who?
Maria: Not knowing where we're going, when we'll be back.
Michael: Do you always talk this much?
Liz: Was that Michael?
Maria: Liz says I talk a lot when i'm nervous. Very nervous.
Liz: You're nervous about being in a car alone with Michael?
Maria: So, how far will we be going? South on 285, huh?
Liz: South on 285?
Michael: What are you...
(Michael sees Maria's cell phone)
Michael: Great.
(Michael tosses Maria's phone out the window)
Liz: Maria? Maria, wha...
Isabel: What's going on?
Liz: That was Maria. She's with Michael in a car. I don't know, she sounded really weird.
(Isabel gets a look of panic on her face and walks towards Max and Kyle)
Liz: Isabel!
Isabel: Come on, we have to go.
Kyle: But things are going so well.
(Outside the Crashdown)
Max: What is it?
Isabel: He found a car.
Liz: What is going on here?
Max: The less you know right now, the better.
Liz: Max, no! Not when Maria's involved.
Max: Maria?
Isabel: It would be her car with her in it. Going South on 285.
Max: We better hurry. Hey, no. You can't come.
Kyle: Trouble in paradise? So soon?
Max: Get in.
Agent: I'm outside the Crashdown. Parker and the 2 evans kids just left...in a hurry.
Topolsky: Let's find out where they're going.
Agent: Yes ma'am.
(Topolsky writes a message on the computer: "Special Investigation Unit, Code Name: West Roswell High...Tension in the Ranks. Waiting for them to slip up. Will happen soon.")
(Liz calls home to explain where she is)
Liz: Well, yeah, it's a really big test. So, look, if i spend the night at Maria's, then i can get maximum study time in. Ok. And mom, if you need me, just call me on the cell, ok? Bye.
Isabel: The perfect Liz Parker lying to her mother?
Liz: Yeah, well, at least she knows what species i am.
Max: Let's just find them and bring them back home.
Liz: What are you guys not telling me about this? You know, Michael is the kind of guy that could be involved in some pretty shady stuff. You guys know exactly where they're going, don't you?
(Maria is arguing with Michael)
Maria: Marathon, Texas? That's like in another state.
Michael: It's only 3 more hours.
Maria: You...you are going to be arrested.
Michael: For driving to Texas?
Maria: Across a state line with a minor? In a stolen vehicle? There are laws, you know. And that cell phone you just tossed? Vandalism of personal property. God, i just...I knew you had criminal tendencies. You even drive erratically.
Michael: What's exactly wrong with my driving?
Maria: I told you not to go over 80. The engine won't take it.
Michael: Maybe it's just tired of hearing you talk.
Maria: Oh, so what? What's in marathon? Contraband? Some woman? What?
Michael: You wouldn't understand. You don't understand anything about us.
Maria: Listen, I already know more than I want to, ok?
Michael: See, it's all about you, isn't it? This could be the most important day of my life and all you care about...
(Police siren sounds and a squad car pulls behind Maria's car)
Michael: Are you happy now? Go ahead, tell 'em I kidnapped you and I stole your car. I mean, what's one more arrest on my record, huh? Damn it!
Maria: What do you mean, this could be the most important day of your life?
Michael: Forget it.
Maria: You have 20 seconds to convince me.
Michael: See this place? It's the first real connection we've ever had to finding out where we come from and it's in Marathon, Texas. If I don't get there, or if somebody else gets there first, the only link we've ever found will be gone.
Officer: 94. Where you going in such a hurry, son?
Maria: I've really gotta pee. See...I, I've...I have this like really weak bladder condition and I drank a big gulp at the last station, and it had caffeine, you know, so it makes me have to go even more. So he was just driving really fast so we could get to the next station so i could pee.
Officer: Could I see your license, please?
Michael: Of course, officer.
Officer: There's a drive-thru about 3 miles up. Nice clean rest rooms. And watch your speed.
Maria: You owe me big.
(Kyle is calling around to find out where Liz is)
Kyle: Great, thank you, Mrs. De Luca. I'll try her at Liz's, then.
Sheriff: Hey.
Kyle: Um, when did you get home?
Sheriff: I don't know. A couple phone calls ago. The Evans, the Parkers and the De Lucas. Is this about Liz again?
Kyle: Dad...
Sheriff: Anything you want to talk about?
Kyle: It's just Max Evans...again.
Sheriff: What about him?
Kyle: I don't know.
Sheriff: Well, he must've done something to get you so riled up.
Kyle: Just the way Liz is when she's with him. There's always something weird going on. Like...like today at the Crashdown. Max and Isabel leave in some big hurry and they take Liz with 'em. Like, right in the middle of our conversation. They just drove off. They're not home. They lied to their parents. It's just weird, you know?
Sheriff: You have any idea where they went?
Kyle: No.
Sheriff: Yeah, well, I'm sure they'll turn up.
Kyle: I thought you just got home.
Sheriff: Yeah, I forgot something at the office.
Kyle: Dad, what do you know about Max Evans?
Sheriff: Kyle, stay out of this.
Kyle: What do you know, dad?
Sheriff: I'll talk to you later.
(Liz is bringing Isabel a cup of coffee)
Liz: Isabel?
(Isabel turns around right into Liz and coffee spills all over)
Isabel: What?
Liz: Sorry.
Isabel: That's great.
Liz: I was just trying to be nice.
Isabel: Well don't, ok?
Liz: No wonder you always look so perfect.
Isabel: You think so?
Liz: Please...you're like the Elle McPherson of the h*m* class.
Isabel: Well, I guess that answers question number 12: "Who do you envy?"
Liz: What about you? Who do you envy?
Isabel: No one.
Liz: Isabel...I'm...I'm not trying to take him away from you. I mean...I could never even do that.
Isabel: I know.
Liz: But what if you guys found something in Marathon? Would you take him away from me?
(Isabel uses her power to get the coffee stains out of Liz's sweater)
Liz: Thank you.
(Max comes out of the mini market)
Man: Hey, buddy, I need to make a call here. I told you, hang up the phone if you ain't gonna talk. What, do you think? I got all day here?
(Max flattens one of the tires of the agent's car)
(Scene switches back to Maria's car)
Maria: Did you pull on the chokey thing?
Michael: Yes, I did pull on the chokey thing.
(Car sputtering)
Maria: Hurry, just do something. Go!
Michael: Don't tempt me.
Maria: Come on. Wiggle your nose, blink your eyes, do the Samantha-Jeannie alien thing. Come on.
Michael: I can't.
Maria: Why not? Come on! If there's ever a time to have secret powers, now is the time.
Michael: They're not secret powers.
Maria: I don't care what you call 'em! Just use them and get us out of here!
Michael: I'm not that good at it, all right?!
Maria: Figures! Hah!
Michael: Your car sucks!
Maria: And so do you.
(Michael tries to fix the car but winds up bl*wing up the engine)
Michael: Now that i'm humiliated, and the battery's fried, I'm gonna take the back seat.
Maria: Wait a minute. Ok. You kidnap me, and you blow up my car, and you expect me to spend the night in here with you?
Michael: Not exactly my fantasy evening either.
Maria: Don't touch that. It is sensitive!
Michael: Can you shut up?
(A green alien inflates in one of the boxes)
Michael: Well, that's nice.
Maria: What? What? My mother makes them. What? Where you going? Where are you going?!
Michael: See that motel over there? I want to get some sleep.
Maria: No, Michael. Wait!
(Back in Max's jeep)
Liz: It's getting so late. You know, maybe we should just call our parents.
Max: No.
Liz: They could help find them.
Isabel: I hate to say this, but maybe she's right, Max. I mean, I never liked the idea of Michael going into this place without us checking it out first.
Max: No. Nobody can know about this.
Liz: Max, I'm really worried about Maria.
Isabel: I'm worried about Michael, and all you seem to care about is what's inside that dome, right?
Max: I didn't say that.
Isabel: You didn't have to!
Max: Isabel, we're close to something. We can't just--
(Liz's cell phone rings)
Isabel: Don't answer that.
Liz: What if it's my mother?
(Phone rings a few more times)
Liz: Hello?
Kyle: Liz. Hi.
Liz: Hi.
Kyle: So, listen, I just talked to your mom. She said that you were over at Maria's.
Liz: Um, yeah, that's exactly where I am.
Kyle: Was that a truck?
Liz: Um, uh, no, no. That...that was just, um, the television. So, uh, what do you want, kyle?
Kyle: I took your history book by mistake after you left the Crashdown today. I thought I'd swing by Maria's and drop it off.
Liz: Oh, no! Um, you know, you don't even need to go to the trouble. Um...Uh, you could just--you could give it to me at school tomorrow.
Kyle: Are you sure? 'Cause I'm very close.
Liz: Yeah. Uh, I'm positive. I'll see you at school tomorrow, Kyle.
Kyle: Maybe even sooner.
(Sheriff is talking on radio to highway patrol)
Sheriff: That's right, a jeep registered to Philip and diane Evans, Roswell, New Mexico. 3 passengers, all minors.
Radio: Computer shows nothing coming up on Evans, although i do have a speeding citation on another minor from Roswell. Guerin...Michael. Car registered to an Amy De Luca. Mean anything to you?
Sheriff: Where were they stopped?
Radio: Heading south on 285.
Sheriff: Thanks, highway. You've been a big help.
(Maria and Michael enter the motel room)
Maria: It's like the p*rn version of Aladdin.
Michael: At least it's warm.
Maria: I don't even want to think about what I could catch in here.
Michael: You know, if you stop being such a princess about things--
Maria: Princess? No, no. I think I've been a pretty good sport up until now, but I'm cold, and I'm hungry, and I'm in some nookie motel with a guy i--i barely even know, and I...and I just--I really want to go home right now.
Michael: Why don't you stay here? I saw some vending machines outside. I'll go see what they have. Lock the door.
(Back in Max's jeep, the radio reports an accident on 285 South)
Radio: This is Donnie Jenkins at KZTX 97 with a special report. Anyone planning on heading past Pecos on 285 South, your plans have just changed. We got an 18-wheeler jackknifed just past Crown Gulch. All traffic is stopped. Highway patrol estimates the road will be blocked off for at least 2 hours, but stay tuned to KZTX 97 for updates throughout the evening. Now back to your h*t radio KZTX.
Isabel: Great. They probably already made it through. Now what are we supposed to do?
Max: We'll just get some rest...keep going when it's open.
Isabel: What, you mean sleep in the jeep? Out here, together?
(In motel room, Maria and Michael are asking each other questions)
Maria: So, do you get hungry just like the rest of us?
Michael: Yeah. Of course I get hungry.
Maria: What, uh...what other human urges do you feel?
Michael: Not if you're the last woman on Earth.
Maria: Ditto. And so you'll know, I am not gonna be getting an "F" on this assignment, so...you better start answering some questions. Right now, pal-ly, and I mean for real. So, favorite ice cream flavor?
Michael: Pistachio.
Maria: Pistachio...favorite TV show?
Michael: Win Ben Stein's Money.
Maria: Ok, favorite book?
Michael: James Joyce...Ulysses.
Maria: You have not read Ulysses.
Michael: "What incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones who pass it all off as a jest, pretending to understand everything and in reality not knowing their own minds." Page 655...told you you wouldn't understand. Next question.
Maria: All right, if you're so smart, then how come you fail every class in school?
Michael: What number is that?
Maria: It's my own personal question, ok?
Michael: I don't answer personal questions, ok?
Maria: All right, fine. Then maybe it's the answer to number 16. What are you afraid of?
Michael: I hate this. This is stupid.
Maria: All right, how about just one personal question? You know, since I didn't turn you in back there. Why is it so important to you to find out where you come from?
Michael: Because there's gotta be something better out there for me than Roswell, New Mexico.
Michael: You think that's funny.
Maria: No, no. It's just, um...when i was a kid, I used to stay up at night and, um, make up stories about my father...you know, and who he was and...what he was doing. And they all ended exactly the same way. He would come in a limo and pick me and my mom up and take us off to some exotic place where we'd live like royalty. Because, you know...I thought to myself...there's got to be something better out there for me than Roswell, New Mexico.
Michael: Substitute a spaceship for a limo, and you know what i mean.
Maria: Yeah. I...I'm, uh, I'm getting kind of tired.
Michael: Yeah. It's been a long day, huh?
Maria: Yeah.
Michael: I don't suppose we could share?
Maria: Not if you were the last alien on Earth.
(Max, Liz, and Isabel are waiting for a roadblock to clear)
Max: Liz, I'm sorry.
Liz: Yeah. We're gonna get through somehow.
Max: I don't mean about the roadblock. I mean about everything. From Michael taking Maria...for Isabel being so...Isabel. We're not all the same, you know.
Liz: Yeah, I've known that for a really long time. I'm sorry, too, Max. You know, for Kyle and...how my stupid, boring life could possibly get you guys into trouble.
Max: First of all, nothing about you is stupid. And secondly...it feels like...my life didn't even start until I told you the truth that day.
Liz: Yeah. I know what you mean. Max...
Max: Yeah?
Liz: Umm...I know that we agreed, you know, not...not to feel a certain way about each other.
Max: Yeah.
Liz: Do you still think that's a good idea?
(Max reaches towards Liz's face but instead patches a hole in the jeep's canvas top)
Max: Just wanted to keep you warm.
Liz: This place in Marathon. All those answers that you're looking for. Um...they're just as important to you as they are to Michael, aren't they?
(Isabel comes back with updated info on the roadblock)
Isabel: So the roadblock will be lifted in an hour.
Max: It might be too late.
(Isabel spots Maria's car on the side of the road next to a motel)
Isabel: In more ways than one.
(Liz, Isabel, and Max are outside Maria and Michael's room at the motel)
Liz: We'll just knock.
(Isabel unlocks the door with her power)
Isabel: Go right ahead.
(Maria, who was sleeping on the bed, is awakened by the door opening and rolls onto Michael who was sleeping on the floor)
Maria: Aah!
Liz: Maria.
Maria: What are you guys doing here?
Liz: Um...well, we thought you were in trouble, but...yeah...I guess we're wrong.
Maria: No no. You don't think--I mean, that is, like so unreal! I mean...come on, would you tell them?
Michael: Come on, honey, we don't have to lie.
(Maria gasps in disbelief and starts to h*t Michael)
Isabel: I believe you. The day Michael calls anybody honey, it's all over.
Michael: So i guess you're here to be supportive, as usual?
Max: No. I'm here to clean up your mess as usual. Michael, what were you thinking?
Michael: I was thinking I can't wait around for the 2 of you anymore. You like Roswell,and you like your family, and you like your make-believe life. That's great, Maxwell. Keep pretending. But don't think it's gonna last. Because one of these days, they're gonna find out about us, and when they do, everybody in this room...
(Kyle walks into the room)
Liz: Kyle!
Kyle: Everyone in this room is what?
Michael: Get out.
Kyle: Why don't you go ahead and finish what you were saying? Or are you afraid that I'll find out what your little secret is? Are you afraid that I might find out what the hell you guys are doing out here? In the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night?
Michael: I said...get out!
Max: Michael, don't.
(Michael throws Kyle across the room)
Kyle: Who the hell are you guys?
Kyle: What's going on here? And what are you doing here? I'm gonna get you out of here. Come on.
Max: Leave her alone.
Liz: Just...
Kyle: Get off of me!
Liz: Just stop it, both of you, ok? This has gone so out of control! I am not your girlfriend anymore, kyle.
Kyle: Liz, I don't know what's going on here, and I don't care. I just want you to come back with me.
Liz: You don't belong here, Kyle. This is none of your business.
Kyle: I don't know...I don't know what I ever saw in you.
(Kyle leaves)
Max: I'll take you guys home.
Liz: No! No more secrets from us! Maria and I, we are a part of this now. If we don't know everything, how are we supposed to protect ourselves? And how are we supposed to help you?
Michael: We don't need any help!
Maria: Right. Next time, steal someone else's car and try getting away with it.
Isabel: What do you want to know?
Liz: Everything.
Isabel: That'll make you accomplices.
Liz: Go ahead.
Max: A few weeks ago, Michael and I broke into Sheriff Valenti's office trying to find that picture you saw from 1959...the d*ad body with the handprint.
Michael: It's the only proof we've ever had that there's other aliens besides us.
Max: We found a key. When Michael touched it, he had a vision.
Michael: Of this dome.
Maria: The one in marathon.
Liz: So you guys think that this key is gonna unlock the dome and then...and then you guys are gonna find something there...something that's gonna help you guys figure out where you actually come from?
Max: Yes.
Liz: Then what are we waiting for?
(Group arrives at dome)
Isabel: It's just like you drew it, Michael.
Michael: I told you it was something.
(Michael tries to unlock front door with key but it doesn't work)
(Max unlocks the door with his power)
Max: We've come this far. Maybe it unlocks something inside.
Liz: Somebody was definitely looking for something here.
Max: Whatever it was, they probably found it a long time ago.
Isabel: Try holding the key again.
Michael: Nothing.
Maria: Try it again.
(With Maria next to him, Michael sees a blurry image of a hidden room)
Michael: There's something here. A room.
Max: Where?
Michael: I don't know. It's hidden.
Michael: Max. Isabel.
Isabel: The key, Michael.
(Isabel lights a lamp)
Michael: Jackpot, Maximilian.
(Sheriff is examining the dome when he gets beaned in the back of the head by Topolsky)
Liz: Oh my god!
(TO BE CONTINUED) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x05 - 2x85 South"} | foreverdreaming |
"River Dog"
Episode: 7
7th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA06
Written by: Cheryl Cain
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 17, 1999
(Start off with the same scene from the end of previous episode)
Michael: Whoever's up there looking for us isn't gonna stop until they find us. I'm gonna find out everything I can before they do.
(Maria and Liz observe a rat crawling around in the room and Liz finds a tunnel leading out of the room)
Liz: Max. Max.
Liz: Come on! Come on!
Max: Go, go, go, go, go.
(Isabel is drawn to a necklace and is lost in deep thought for a brief moment)
Max: Isabel! Isabel!
(Opening credits)
Voice-Over: All logic is gone. Here were my plans last night - finish my shift, dinner with the parents, half hour of talking to Maria on the phone, then dive into this issue I've been having with geometry, and hopefully finish in time to watch this A&E biography on Madame Curie. Instead, I took off in an open-air vehicle that probably shouldn't be allowed on the road to begin with, broke into a house, essentially stole things from it, and engaged in general bonding with aliens. Welcome to my world.
(Michael and Maria are driving back in Maria's car)
Michael: What?
Maria: No, it's just kind of funny how surprising things can get. All this time that i've known you, I've just always thought of you as, like, this guy, you know. Like this weird guy from the other side of the tracks going nowhere in life, which, of course, you know, you still are that but...what i didn't realize was that there's this whole other side to you.
Michael: What, that I'm from--
Maria: Well, clearly there's that, but putting that aside, underneath that, um, weird, poorly bathed exterior, there's, like, this whole...deeply wounded, vulnerable guy.
Michael: Listen, all right, in terms of what happened yesterday between us, that was just we were on the road. All right, we talked. That's all over.
Maria: Of course. Wait. You think something happened between us?
(Isabel searches through old photo albums and picks out a photo)
Max: What is it?
Isabel: You remember when Mom and Dad took us to Florida that summer?
Max: Sure. You had sunstroke all of August, and I sprained my ankle on the shuffleboard court.
Isabel: Before that. We were on the beach one day, and we drew this thing in the sand, this symbol together. Do you remember that?
Max: Symbol?
Isabel: Think. We had never seen it before, but somehow we drew it together. We both knew what it was supposed to look like. Why did we both know that symbol, Max?
Max: Isabel, what is this all about?
Isabel: Draw it.
Max: What?
Isabel: Close your eyes and try to draw it.
Max: But I don't remember it.
Isabel: Draw it.
(Max draws the symbol and Isabel shows him the photo she picked out from the photo album, which matches his drawing)
Max: What made you think of this?
Isabel: I found this at Atherton's house.
(Isabel shows Max the necklace which also has the same symbol on it)
Mrs. Evans: Hey! Where is everybody? You kids ready for some breakfast?
Isabel: Morning.
Mrs. Evans: You two look exhausted. How late were you last night? I didn't even hear you come in.
Max: Sorry. We lost track of the time cramming for that math midterm.
Mrs. Evans: Well, just do me a favor, huh? The next time you're studying that late, will you do it here? Ok, let's get a move on. I don't want you to be late for school.
Isabel: Ok, we'll be right down. I hate lying to her.
(Maria and Liz talking at school)
Maria: The thing about Michael is that he's weird but surprisingly interesting.
Liz: He's interesting?
Maria: Not interesting for me, obviously.
Liz: Oh, yes, obviously.
Maria: I mean, it can never be. There's a number of obstacles. His hair, his personality, the fact that he was hatched.
Liz: Can you please tell me what happened in that motel room?
Maria: I told you, Liz, nothing happened.
Liz: Are you sure?
Maria: Nothing physical, although it wasn't very verbal, either. What Michael and I share, well, it's non-verbal. Michael is the type of person my mom likes to refer to as a vibrator.
Liz: A vibrator.
Maria: You know what i mean. Someone who communicates by, you know, sending vibes out into the atmosphere.
Liz: What kind of vibes was he sending you?
Maria: Vibes that are, you know--
Liz: Oh, I have to go talk to Kyle.
Maria: Oh, the stalker. Good luck with that, Lizzy.
Liz: Thank you.
Maria: So, um, I guess I'll see you at Max and Isabel's later.
Liz: Um, Max and Isabel's?
Maria: Yeah, you know, to go through the files. Michael said they'd pick me up after school, so...
Liz: Oh. Uh, yeah, I will be there.
(Liz walks over to Kyle's locker)
Liz: Hi.
Kyle: Miss Texas.
Liz: Can I talk to you for a second?
Kyle: I can't imagine what you'd want to talk to me about.
Liz: In private.
Kyle: Oh, this is weird. To be in here in the janitor's closet. It's, um, ironic. Our first kiss.
Liz: Oh.
Kyle: Last day of school last year.
Liz: Yeah. That was, um...that was a great day.
Kyle: Liz, don't even try.
Liz: Kyle, I just wanted to make sure you were ok. That you didn't get hurt last night.
Kyle: I see. So that's what you wanted to speak to me about?
Liz: Yes.
Kyle: In private.
Liz: Mmm-hmm.
Kyle: Well, I'm ok.
(Kyle starts to leave)
Liz: No, Kyle. Um...I just need to make sure that you're not planning on telling anybody about...about where we were that day.
Kyle: Oh, see. And here i was thinking you were just concerned about me. Liz, what the hell were you doing out there last night?
Liz: I can't talk about it.
Kyle: Just gimme a hint. Is it drugs? You part of some cult, or is it just about sex?
Liz: Kyle...
Kyle: Don't worry. I--I won't tell anyone.
Liz: Thank you.
Kyle: Not until I have something on him that will destroy him.
(Topolsky is exercising while talking with Agent Stevens of the FBI)
Topolsky: Things are very much under control, Sir.
Stevens: Agent Topolsky, do you understand the assignment that was given to you?
Topolsky: Yes, sir, I do.
Stevens: Repeat it.
Topolsky: I'm sorry?
Stevens: Your assignment. Repeat it to me.
Topolsky: The assignment is to observe the subjects and determine whether or not the theories about them are substantiated.
Stevens: You're forgetting something, Agent. The word covertly. To covertly observe the subjects to determine whether or not the theories about them are substantiated. Covertly!
Topolsky: I've been acting covertly.
Stevens: Drop-kicking the sheriff. You call that covertly?
Topolsky: The sheriff was endangering my operation.
Stevens: Your operation?!?
Topolsky: Our operation.
Stevens: Wrong again, Agent. Not your operation. Not our operation. My operation! Mine! I think I have a piece of my bagel permanently lodged in my esophagus. New orders, Agent Topolsky. See if you can follow 'em this time. Whatever those kids took from that house, I want it. Get it. Whatever those kids are doing right now, I want to know about it. Do you understand, Agent Topolsky?
Topolsky: I understand.
Stevens: By any means necessary, Agent.
Topolsky: Yes, sir.
Stevens: Don't waste my time, Agent!
Topolsky: I'm all over it.
(Max's Boss, Milton, is talking about UFO spacecraft at the UFO Center)
Milton: You are now looking at an actual piece of an alien spacecraft. This metal, which matches none of the 92 trace elements known on the planet, defies the properties of all metals known to man. When bent, it bends back...on its own. It cannot be melted. Nor does it have--
Sheriff: Can I talk to you for a second?
Milton: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be right back with you. Um, study this slide.
Milton: How can I help you, sheriff?
Sheriff: You know a guy named James Atherton? Wrote about aliens?
Milton: He was one of the first to publish on the '47 crash. Alleged crash. He authored several books, most notably "Among Us", published in 1955.
Sheriff: You wouldn't happen to know if he's still alive?
Milton: That's, uh, anyone's guess. Disappeared.
Sheriff: Disappeared?
Milton: Vanished right off the face of the earth. Supposedly he was on to some amazing discoveries right before his disappearance. Direct contact. That sort of thing. Legend has it that he was abducted by aliens. He disappeared in 1959.
Sheriff: '59?
Milton: Sheriff, as a concerned citizen and as an extraterrestrialist, I'm compelled to ask. What's this all about?
Sheriff: I think your slide's on f*re.
Milton: Oh, oh! Stay seated, please. Please stay seated.
(Sheriff takes out the picture of the corpse from 1959 that he hid under his desk and compares it to the picture of Atherton in the "Among Us" book, when Deputy Owen knocks on the door)
Sheriff: Yeah?
Owen: Sheriff, we have a situation.
(Max, Isabel, and Michael in jeep heading to Evans home)
Michael: So there's kind of a lot of stuff to go through, huh?The files.
Max: We'll do it piece by piece, the 3 of us.
Michael: The 3 of us...right. 'Cause there's some other people that might wanna help out with that stuff.
Isabel: Some other people?
Michael: Yeah, you know, that Maria girl.
Isabel: That Maria girl?
Michael: But it should just be the 3 of us.
Max: Probably.
Michael: Yeah, that's what I figured. Actually, I sort of told her we were gonna pick her up.
Isabel: Michael!
Michael: You know, she pushed it. She's got this whole thing. She's a real vibrator. She sends out these vibes. It's...
Max: Michael, she can't come look through the stuff. It's us, that's all.
Michael: I know. I know. I'll call her. Do you have your phone?
Isabel: Fine, but don't let her blather too long, ok, because I'm desperately low on minutes.
(There's a lot of commotion outside the Evans home)
Isabel: What's going on?
Max: We'd better go find out. Michael, get out of here.
Isabel: Wait. Are you sure we should go in there?
Max: It's where we live. We don't have any choice.
Michael: Nah, i don't like this.
Max: We'll meet you at the Crashdown later.
(Michael takes off)
Sheriff: Mr. Evans. Isabel. I'm afraid i've got some bad news for you.
Isabel: Mom.
Mrs. Evans: Oh, Izzie. Max. Kids, they robbed the house.
Isabel: The sheriff told us. When did it happen?
Mrs. Evans: This morning, I guess. I stopped at the house on my lunch break, and whoever did it was already gone.
Max: Are you ok?
Mrs. Evans: Yeah, just a bit shaken.
Max: What did they take?
Mrs. Evans: The tv, the stereo. I haven't even checked the bedrooms yet. I called your dad. He's on his way.
Isabel: We're gonna go check our rooms.
(Max checks for the files they took from Atherton's dome)
Max: Gone.
Isabel: Oh, my God. They didn't come for the TV, did they, Max? Someone knew what we had here. Someone wanted it.
Sheriff: Sorry. Wow, i can only guess what it must be like to have your house broken into like this. A real violation.
Isabel: Yeah.
Sheriff: So what'd they take from in here?
Max: Actually, nothing seems to be missing.
Sheriff: That's odd. This place has been ransacked worse than the rest of the house. Almost as if they were looking for something.
Max: They didn't take anything.
Sheriff: How about from your room?
Isabel: I haven't, um, looked there yet.
Sheriff: You checked out your brother's room before you checked out your own. Why is that?
Mrs. Evans: Sheriff, excuse me, but why are you interrogating my children? We're the victims here.
Sheriff: Ma'am, I apologize. I didn't mean to interrogate anybody. I just wanted to make sure that we do a thorough investigation. Sometimes seemingly meaningless details can be important.
Mrs. Evans: Right. I understand. I'm sorry.
Isabel: I'm gonna go and check my room.
Owen: Miss Evans? I'm sorry. I just need to take a statement. I can come back later.
Isabel: Ok.
(Deputy Owen's eyes are drawn to Isabel's necklace)
Owen: Where did you get that?
Isabel: At the mall. Kind of like the retro look. Why?
Owen: I just haven't seen anything like that since I left the reservation.
Isabel: Well...maybe they're branching out.
Owen: Right.
Isabel: Which reservation?
Owen: I grew up on the Mescalero reservation just outside of town.
(Michael enters the Crashdown from a backdoor and runs into Maria)
Michael: Never do that again.
Maria: I didn't do anything.
Michael: You startled me.
Maria: I startled you?
Michael: Yes. Did Max and Isabel get here yet?
Liz: Why? Were they supposed to be here? Oh.
Max: We need to talk somewhere. In private.
Michael: I can't say for sure I was being followed. I just had a feeling, that's all.
Max: What did he look like?
Michael: I don't know. A man in a suit. 30-35. Tall. Brown hair. He looked suspicious to me. What can i tell you?
Max: When we were on the road, there was a guy who might've been following us. I didn't say anything because I didn't want anyone to get worried.
Isabel: I can't believe what's happening here. Someone broke into our house. Someone's following us. It's too real.
Max: It's gonna be ok.
(Michael stares at Isabel's necklace)
Isabel: What?
Michael: I know that. I know that. How do i know that?
Max: The 3 of us know it. We think it's from the past.
Isabel: Pretty wild, huh? I found it at Atherton's.
Michael: This has to mean something.
Isabel: You know that native american deputy? He said he recognized it from the Mescalero reservation.
(Michael sh**t a glance at Max as if to say "We've got to go!")
Max: We can't go anywhere right now. We can't make any suspicious moves.
Michael: Come on. We gotta go.
Max: No one's going anywhere. Not right now.
(Sheriff pays a visit to Topolsky at school)
Topolsky: Who is it?
Sheriff: I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Topolsky: Of course not, sheriff. You're always welcome. So, what can I do for you?
Sheriff: I just needed your assistance on a small matter.
Topolsky: Certainly. What is it?
Sheriff: There was a...a break-in at Max and Isabel Evans' house yesterday.
Topolsky: I hope no one was hurt.
Sheriff: No. No one was home when it happened. And I was just wondering if you could tell me...
Topolsky: My whereabouts, sheriff?
Sheriff: Of course not. No. I was just curious if there'd been any trouble with any of the students here at the school.
Topolsky: I don't know of any of my kids who would do anything like that.
Sheriff: Right. Well, it's just a thought. I know you keep a close eye on your students here.
Topolsky: That's my job.
Sheriff: I can see you're a person who takes their work seriously. Take it home with you. Take it on the road with you. I woke up with one hell of a headache.
Topolsky: Must've had your head in the wrong place.
Sheriff: Yeah, must've.
(Sheriff tips his hat)
Sheriff: Ms. Topolsky.
(Max hears a knocking at his window and goes to open it)
Max: Michael, we're not going--Liz, what are doing here?
Liz: Can I come in?
Max: Sure. Yeah. Of course.
(Liz trips as she climbs through the window and falls on Max who steadies her)
Liz: Ohh!
Max: So...what's going on?
Liz: Um...I really didn't wanna say this before because I didn't want anybody else to get involved, but...I'm going to the reservation.
Max: No...no, you're not. We're being watched.
Liz: Maybe you're not just being watched, you know. Maybe it's more than that. Max, today they came for the files. What if tomorrow they come for you? If there's anything there, any possibility at all that this means something, we need to find out.
Max: Thanks for the offer...but no.
Liz: Max, you saved my life.
Max: What does that have to do with it?
Liz: It's what started all of this. People suspecting you. If anything happened to you...or Michael or Isabel, I just...I couldn't live with that. Let me do this one thing.
Max: Liz, I already told you no.
Liz: Max, I didn't come here for permission. I came here for the pendant. If you don't give it to me, I'll just draw it. I'm going.
Max: Hey. First moment anything weird happens, anything at all, you come back.
Liz: I promise.
(Liz arrives at the Mescalero Indian reservation late at night and browses through a trinket stand)
Peddler: A beautiful bracelet for a beautiful lady.
Liz: Oh. Yes, it is really lovely. But I was actually...looking for something like this. I was just wondering if you've seen this symbol before or if you know what it means.
Peddler: It means "tree of knowledge."
Liz: Really?
Peddler: Actually, I have no idea what it means, but it looks old.
Liz: Right. Yeah. Do you know what--
(A hand reaches out and grabs Liz's arm. The hand belongs to a native american named River Dog whose eyes are drawn to the necklace that Liz is showing the peddler)
Liz: Who was that?
Peddler: Stay away from him.
Liz: Hello?! Is anyone there?
(Liz is about to open her car door when River Dog comes up to her)
River Dog: Give me that.
Liz: Who are you?
River Dog: Please.
(Liz lets River Dog examine the necklace)
River Dog: Where did you get this?
Liz: We just found it.
River Dog: We?
Liz: No. I found it.
River Dog: Who else knows? How many know? Tell me.
Liz: No one else knows.
River Dog: How did you know to come here? Were you followed?
Liz: No, I wasn't. I...what does this mean to you? Please tell me.
River Dog: This is dangerous. It brings death.
(At the Crashdown, a native american is talking to Liz)
Liz: Can I help you?
Eddie: I think I'll try the redskin basket.
Liz: Oh, yeah, I've been trying to get that off the menu for months.
Eddie: Thanks for the effort. My people are indebted. My name's Eddie.
Liz: Hi. I'm Liz.
Eddie: I have a message from River Dog. He'll meet you at 10 o'clock tonight.
Liz: Tonight.
Eddie: Come alone.
Liz: Out where?
Eddie: The reservation. Someone will meet you.
(Michael, Max, and Isabel are driving around in the jeep, looking back periodically to check if they're being followed)
Max: Is he still following us?
Michael: I don't know. I think so.
Isabel: I can't believe this. I--I just wish things would go back to the way they were.
Michael: I still think this plan bites.
Max: Michael, the plan does not bite.
Michael: I'm being used as a pawn. I want to go meet this River Dog guy.
Isabel: Michael, relax, all right?
(They drop Max off at the movies and then drive off quickly to try to lose the agent that's following them)
Michael: Here we go.
Isabel: Go!
Michael: I'm going!
(Max and Liz go through the theatre walkways to a pre-arranged place to meet up with Maria)
Max: Uh, Liz?
Liz: She'll be here. Don't worry.
Max: I'm not worried.
Isabel: This is a nightmare.
Maria: I am so sorry. My mom's acupuncturist appointment ran late. I'm so sorry.
Liz: No, it's ok. It's ok.
(Max and Liz drive off in Maria's car)
(Topolsky pulls over and the sheriff pulls up behind her)
Sheriff: Did you lose something?
Topolsky: What about you, sheriff? Do you always chase cars when you're off duty?
Sheriff: Only when they blow through 3 red lights, 2 stop signs, and do 70 in a 30-mile-an-hour zone. Ms. Topolsky, you are a walking, talking, moving violation.
Topolsky: I'll take that the best way i can.
Sheriff: Now, I could bring you in, hold you overnight, while I'm at it, do a thorough background check to find out what our new guidance counselor is really up to, or we could just have a nice conversation.
(Max and Liz arrive at the reservation)
Max: Where do we go?
Liz: He just said to come back tonight. That's all he said.
Eddie: Who's this guy?
Liz: Oh, uh, he's my friend.
Eddie: I invited you, just you.
Liz: Yeah, I know, but this is really important to both of us.
Eddie: Sorry.
Liz: Wait, you can't just leave.
Eddie: Why not?
Max: Because I know this symbol. It means something to me.
Liz: Please, it's important.
Eddie: There will be a test. If you pass the test, River Dog will answer all your questions.
Liz: Let's go.
(Eddie walks away a few steps, then turns back to Max and Liz)
Eddie: Are you coming?
(Isabel, Maria, and Michael are waiting at the Crashdown for Max and Liz to return)
Michael: What do we do?
Isabel: We wait. They've only been gone a little over an hour.
Michael: I'm telling you, the plan sucks the big one, all right? They're out there on my vision quest, and I'm sitting here in the kitchen with 2 girls yakking.
Maria: Interesting, um, Michael. You know, some women of the, uh, 20th century might find that last remark just a tad bit offensive.
Michael: Why?
Maria: Why?
Isabel: Welcome to Michael-land.
Maria: I hope you intend to pay for that.
Michael: I do not.
Maria: Well, then that's theft, buddy.
Michael: Arrest me.
Maria: Ok, so what's with the Tabasco sauce?
Michael: Sweet and spicy.
Maria: Sweet and spicy?
Isabel: We all like things extremely sweet mixed with extremely spicy. It's our little dietary quirk.
Maria: Well, I'll have to, uh, keep that in mind.
Michael: You do that.
Isabel: Are you 2 flirting? God, could my life get any worse?
(Max and Liz are following Eddie up a hill and are panting a bit from the effort)
Liz: Um, Eddie, how much--how much further is it?
Eddie: It's very close.
Liz: Max, i don't think this is a good idea anymore. We've been walking for too long.
Max: Eddie, um, where exactly are you taking us?
Eddie: You're here.
Liz: We're where?
Eddie: Good luck.
Liz: No, Eddie, Eddie. You can't--you can't just leave us here.
Max: Hey!
Liz: We...what are we gonna do?
Max: Friggin' Eddie.
Liz: I cannot believe this.
Liz: No, Max, Max. Look.
(Liz motions towards a cave opening)
Max: What was that?
(In the darkness, Liz is grabbed by someone)
Max: Liz!
Liz: Let me go!
Max: Liz...Liz, where are you?
(Max creates some light to penetrate the darkness of the cave)
Max: Let her go. Who are you?
River Dog: You have passed the test.
(Sheriff Valenti and Topolsky are chatting at a bar)
Sheriff: I've never taken you for a drinker.
Topolsky: Why is that?
Sheriff: You seem like the healthy type. Working out at the gym, shopping the health food aisles.
Topolsky: How long have you been following me, sheriff?
Sheriff: A while now.
Topolsky: Observe anything unusual?
Sheriff: Well, besides an FBI agent being assigned to our local high school, yes, I have. That's a hell of a kick you've got going. It about gave me a concussion. It's a good thing I'm not the sensitive type.
Topolsky: Aren't you? It seems to me a man who spends his entire life trying to avenge his father's mistakes could be considered sensitive.
Sheriff: Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about my father's mistakes if I were you, Agent Topolsky. It seems you've made a few of your own.
Topolsky: Such as?
Sheriff: Well, such as letting them slip through your fingers.
Topolsky: Them?
Sheriff: Whoever it is you're after. Such as exposing yourself to the local?
Topolsky: Maybe we're taking the wrong tack here, sheriff.
Sheriff: It's funny how everybody agrees they've taken the wrong tack when their cover's been blown. Well, anyway, I just thought I'd give you a heads up before i call your superiors and let them know you've been made.
Topolsky: Sheriff. Look, if my superiors find out about this, I'm off the case. Gone for good, and where does that leave you? Isn't there some other way we can work this out?
Sheriff: Why, whatever could you be thinking, Ms. Topolsky?
Topolsky: I probably have information that you would like to have, and you have information that I might want. Maybe we can work together here.
Sheriff: Let me think about that.
(River Dog is talking to Max and Liz about the alien from 1959)
River Dog: I once knew someone like you. I didn't know where he came from or why he was here. He stayed pretty much to himself. He befriended me and everyone here. He began to trust me.
Max: Do you know where I can find him?
River Dog: I haven't seen him for 40 years. Besides me, the only man he trusted was Atherton. The man gave Atherton his necklace, the one you had.
Max: What happened to him?
River Dog: Atherton was m*rder.
Liz: Who k*lled him?
River Dog: The man k*lled him.
Max: Maybe he was defending himself. Atherton was some kind of UFO nut. He could have been trying to expose him, hurt him.
River Dog: I was too far away to see what happened, but when I reached them, Atherton was d*ad.
Max: When was this?
River Dog: November 1959.
Liz: Max.
River Dog: I have one more thing to show you. This way.
(At the Crashdown, Maria starts to get very anxious because Max and Liz haven't returned yet)
Maria: This is taking too long. They're in trouble.
Michael: Cool your jets.
Maria: We should go out there.
Michael: They'll follow us.
Maria: What are we supposed to do?
Michael: We wait.
Maria: You know, now I know why Isabel left. You are obviously the last person to be around in a crisis.
Michael: We were told to sit here and wait until they come back, all right, and that's what I'm doing. I'm not the one freaking out. You're freaking out.
Maria: I am not freaking out.
Michael: You keep pouring sugar from one container to the other and then back again. Quit it, it's driving me insane!
Maria: I just--I wish you would say something.
Michael: Say what? What do you want me to say?
Maria: I don't know what. Just say something, you know, to make me feel calm, to make me feel like it's gonna be all right.
Michael: Maybe it's not gonna be all right.
Maria: Thanks, that helps a ton.
Michael: What do you want me to do?
Maria: I don't know.
Michael: Shut up, then!
Maria: I--I hate you!
Michael: Ditto!
Maria: You know, all I ask of you is just to try to make me feel better, you know, be a guy or whatever. Forget it. I have obviously tried to bark up the wrong tree.
(Michael kisses Maria)
Michael: That was to calm you down.
Maria: Thanks.
(Michael and Maria walk off in opposite directions)
(In the cave, River Dog shows Max some drawings on the cavern wall that the alien from 1959 drew)
Max: Did he draw this?
River Dog: Yes. He said someday you would come.
Max: It seems familiar, like i know what it means, but I can't remember.
Liz: It must be some sort of language.
River Dog: He was afraid they were going to k*ll him.
Max: Who was?
River Dog: I don't know. He felt they were close to finding him, so he had to leave. I promised I would never share this information with anyone unless they passed the test.
Max: Has anyone else come? Has anyone passed?
River Dog: No, no one.
Max: So this has some type of meaning. It's some kind of message for us. Maybe it's some type of warning. I don't know.
River Dog: It's time for you to leave.
Max: Can we come again?
(River Dog shakes his head)
River Dog: I've completed my promise. There's nothing more I can tell you, nothing more you can learn.
(As Max and Liz turn to leave, River Dog reaches out and grabs Liz's hand)
River Dog: Wait, wait. You're not one of them.
Max: Liz?
River Dog: Make sure he deserves your trust.
Max: Let's go.
(Scene fades out as Max and Liz walk out of the cave hand in hand) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x06 - River Dog"} | foreverdreaming |
"Blood Brother"
Episode: 8
8th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA07
Written by: Barry Pullman, Breen Frazier
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 24, 1999
(In a hallway in school)
Liz: What is it?
Max: She's out.
Liz: Who is?
Max: Miss Hardy. She's absent. Stomach flu. And since we both have fifth period lunch, we have close to 2 hours off.
Liz: Well, we don't technically have fourth period off just because Miss Hardy's out.
Max: There's something I want to show you.
Liz: Ok, let's go.
(Max and Liz are cruising down a road)
Liz: This is so cool.
Max: It's the old highway. My dad used to take this when we drove to Albuquerque.
Liz: I never even knew this place existed.
Max: I just thought we should do something, you know? Something normal, for once. Things have been so--
Liz: Yeah, I know, insane.
Liz: Oh, my God. I love this song.
Max: Me, too.
Voice-Over: Have you ever had a moment when you're with the one person in the world you want to be with and the wind is bl*wing through your hair and the song that just describes your entire soul happens to come on, and then the person that you want to be with happens to love the same song and suddenly you realize you're listening to it together? And that no matter how crazy your life has gotten there's this one moment...this perfect moment...where you could just say that no matter what happens, nothing can take this moment away from me...
(A horse appears in the road ahead)
Voice-Over: And then, something does.
(Max swerves to avoid hitting the horse and the jeep crashes into some bushes on the side of the road. Max's head is resting against the steering wheel and he isn't moving)
Liz: Max? Max? Oh, my God.
(Opening credits)
Paramedic 1: Blood pressure 124 over 84.
Paramedic 2: How do you feel? Ringing, any buzzing?
Liz: No, I'm fine. Is he gonna be all right?
Paramedic 1: We can't know for sure, but his vital signs are good.
(At school in hallway)
Maria: Hey.
Michael: Hey.
(There is an awkward silence)
Michael: Better go. I'm gonna be late for class.
Maria: You're avoiding me.
Michael: I'm not avoiding you.
Maria: Oh, the classic signs, Michael. Not looking me in the eye, lying about motives...
Michael: You know what? Fine. If it's gonna shut you up, I am avoiding you. Watch me continue that thought, all right?
(Maria's cell phone rings)
Maria: No way. Stay. Mom, i told you to stop calling me...
Liz: No, it-it's me. It's me.
Maria: Liz? Gotta get back to you, babe.
Liz: No. Look, there's been an accident with me and Max.
Maria: You and Max are in an accident?
(Michael grabs the cell phone)
Michael: What the hell's going on?
(At hospital)
Doctor: What do we have?
Paramedic: 16 year old male. Victim of an MVA with a blunt head trauma and a loss of consciousness. GCS 2-3-4. BP 124 over 84, pulse 90, respiratory rate 16.
Doctor: Get him in 1. You were with him?
Liz: Um, yeah.
Doctor: When did he lose consciousness?
Liz: Uh, right after the accident.
Doctor: What's your relationship?
Liz: He's my friend.
Doctor: Has he been ID-ed?
Paramedic: Yes, sir.
Doctor: Contact his parents right away. Get him on a monitor. We need some blood tests. Get me a CBC and a ??? 12. And draw blood for a trauma panel.
(In hallway at school)
Principal: Miss Topolsky. We were just notified that we have students in the hospital. They were in a car accident.
Topolsky: Who?
Principal: Max Evans and Liz Parker were taken to Roswell Memorial. I'll inform you as soon as I have an update.
Topolsky: Why don't you let me stay on top of it? I know thes kids. I want to make sure everything's ok.
Principal: Thanks a lot, Miss Topolsky.
(Topolsky makes a call to Agent Moss)
Moss: Hello?
Topolsky: Get to the hospital. Now. We might have a opportunity.
(Isabel and Michael walk into the hospital to Max's room)
Isabel: Oh, my God. Max. Max. What happened?
Liz: We were on the old highway. There was this horse but Max swerved to avoid it and then we crashed.
Isabel: Max.
Susan (the nurse): There's too many people here.
Isabel: I'm his sister.
Susan: No one's supposed to be here.
(Michael turns on his charm. It appears Susan is attracted.)
Michael: I realize you're just trying to do your job, but we're all in shock right now. I'm really sorry.
Susan: Just keep it low key.
Michael: Thank you...Susan.
(Susan walks off)
Michael: I'll get the blood.
(Agent Moss goes into a door marked "Hospital Personnel Only")
Isabel: They can't get that blood.
Liz: So I don't get it. What have you guys done before?
Isabel: Nothing like this has ever happened before.
Liz: But what about when you guys get sick?
Isabel: We don't get sick. We need blood. We'll take some of yours and replace Max's with it.
Liz: It can't be mine. They can tell male from female blood.
Isabel: Then we need to find a guy.
(At school, Alex is speaking to a group of potential musicians)
Alex: See, I mean, my point is...is that there's no garage band scene here at Roswell, you know? Which makes for a potential genius situation. I mean, we could start an entire music scene, you know?
Lester: I think I'm tone deaf.
Alex: You are tone deaf, Lester. That's why I was thinking the drums for you.
(Maria interrupts)
Maria: We need your help.
Alex: Ok, I'm making a point here. The point here is, musicians get the ladies.
Maria: Now.
(Maria drags Alex away)
(Susan looks over the blood samples for review and then leaves the room. Agent Moss, disguised as a medic, comes in and starts searching the blood samples)
(Maria and Alex arrive at the hospital and enter Max's room)
Maria: Oh, my God.
Liz: Alex, I need you to do me a huge favor.
Alex: Of course. Anything.
Liz: I need your blood.
(Susan comes back to find Agent Moss looking through the blood samples)
Susan: What are you doing here, medic?
Moss: Sorry.
(Alex looks a bit scared as Liz is about to stick a needle into his arm)
Alex: Ok, I have any number of reservations at this particular moment.
Liz: No, it's fine, Alex. I volunteered here last summer. I saw them do this a thousand times.
Alex: Oh, God. What are you people hiding?
Liz: I'll tell you everything later.
Alex: Ok, look. I know best friends are supposed to trust each other on everything--
Liz: Alex, I can do this.
Maria: Incoming!
(Isabel grabs the needle)
Isabel: Here, Liz. It'll be best if you don't look.
(Isabel draws some of Alex's blood as Alex shuts his eyes in anticipated pain)
Liz: Thank you, Alex.
Maria: Come on, let's go!
Isabel: This'll sting a little.
(Back in the blood analysis room)
Michael: Susan?
Susan: Can I help you?
Michael: I wanted to talk to you in private. I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me...on a date sometime.
Susan: You seem a bit young.
Michael: Age doesn't matter to me. I mean, besides, you know, I've always been more mature than most people I know. I've always found it easier to relate to a woman. They have so much more in common. They understand. Girls my age, they just don't do it for me, you know? I can't relate to them. But a woman like you on the other hand...
Susan: Something isn't right.
Michael: It's not?
Susan: I appreciate the thought. I really do. But I can't do this.
Michael: I understand.
(Michael turns to leave)
Susan: Hey, call me when you turn 18.
Michael: I will.
(In hospital lobby, everyone is waiting for an update on Max)
Liz: Alex...maybe you should go home.
Alex: Liz, what I just did I could get arrested for. And that's all you have to say to me? Any of you?
Liz: Alex...
Michael: She said go home.
Alex: Well...great new friends you've made, Liz.
(Alex walks off and Liz follows him and Michael starts to follow Liz)
Maria: Hey, hey. She's not gonna tell him. Just give her a second.
Liz: Alex, wait--
Alex: I've been waiting, Liz. And apparently I'm not gonna get an explanation.
Liz: It's complicated, ok?
Alex: No no. It's not ok, Liz. None of this is ok.
Liz: Alex, look, you've gotta trust me--
Alex: What is it...drugs? Is that what this is? You and Max go out for a drive. He gets wasted, almost kills you both. That's what I'm covering for, isn't it?
Liz: Alex...
Alex: You can't use Michael's blood because he's just as high. So who do you call? You call on your buddy Alex. Stupid, straight Alex who does everything you say cuz he's such a loyal friend that you lie to and you use whenever you can.
Liz: It's not true.
Alex: Then tell me the truth, Liz. For once.
Liz: You're right. It's drugs.
(Alex walks off frustrated)
Isabel: He's awake.
(In Max's room)
Mrs. Evans: Max, you have no idea how much you terrified me.
Max: Sorry, Ma.
Doctor: It's some recovery.
Max: I guess I got lucky.
Doctor: You didn't seem so lucky a couple of hours ago. You sure you feeling ok? No dizziness? Headaches?
(Max shakes his head)
Doctor: Good. Your son is fine.
Mrs. Evans: Oh, thank God.
Doctor: I still recommend that we keep him overnight. And I can schedule an MRI in the morning.
Mrs. Evans: Yes, of course.
Max: Mom, I'm fine. I don't need any tests.
Mrs. Evans: Honey, we'll leave it to the doctor, ok?
Max: Please, I have a ton of schoolwork. Really, I feel fine. Mom, I just--I don't wanna stay here.
Doctor: Ok. Have him take it easy for the next few days. And if you feel any dizziness, anything unusual, you contact me right away.
Max: Yeah.
Doctor: All right.
Mrs. Evans: Thank you, doctor. Thank you.
Doctor: You guys can come in now.
(Isabel, Michael, Liz, and Maria come in)
Isabel: Mom...
Mrs. Evans: Hi, honey. He's gonna be fine.
Michael: Heard you saved Mr. Ed.
Max: Yeah.
Liz: You ok?
Mrs. Evans: Hello.
Max: Mom, this is Liz.
Liz: It's nice to meet you.
Mrs. Evans: It's nice to meet you.
(In a hallway in the hospital)
Liz: I was so scared.
Max: I'm ok.
Isabel: Let's go. Mom's waiting in the car.
Maria: Oh, my keys are in my purse on the table in Max's room. We were in the middle of a crisis, remember?
Michael: I'll go get it. Get him to the car.
(Michael sees the silhouette of someone who looks like he's searching for something. He pulls open the curtains to find Agent Moss and the other agent disguised as medics looking through the trash)
Michael: Forgot her purse.
(In Max's room at home)
Michael: I'm telling you it was the same guy. The one that followed me into the Crashdown the other night. He was going through the garbage. And the other guy, the one I saw looking for blood, he was going through Max's charts.
Max: There's nothing for them to find.
Michael: This time. But this is the closest call we've ever had.
Max: I'm sorry...
Isabel: It wasn't your fault, Max.
Michael: I didn't say that. But somebody's closing in on us. And unless we do something about it...
Isabel: The only thing we can do is run.
Michael: No, that's not true. We can figure them out before they figure us out.
Isabel: This is already so out of control and you just wanna make it worse?
Michael: I wanna know my enemy. That's the only chance we'll ever have.
(In an alley at night, Topolsky stops to get briefed by Moss)
Topolsky: Interesting day. So how'd it go?
Moss: There was a blood test. It came back normal. I think something might've happened.
Topolsky: What do you mean?
Moss: Well, there were 5 of them. And they kept coming in and out of his room a lot.
Topolsky: Doing what?
Moss: I'm not sure. But they brought another one in. Tall kid, kind of wiry.
Topolsky: Alex.
Moss: I think they switched blood samples.
(At school during lunchtime. Alex takes a seat next to Kyle at an empty table)
Alex: Hey.
Kyle: Oh, hey, look. A spy.
Alex: No, I'm just eating.
Kyle: Yeah, right. Liz sent you to find out whether or not I told anybody anything, right?
Alex: No, it's that there was no one else to eat with... Wait, told anybody what?
Kyle: You know what hurts the most? It's that she sent the B-team. I mean, you. Not even maria. Tell you what, Alex. I'm gonna send you back to headquarters with a little message. You can tell Liz that i'm tired of being lied to. She's not the girl I thought she was, and she's turned into some kind of...
Alex: Stranger?
Kyle: Oh, you're good. That whole simpatico tactic. Sorry, but this fish won't swallow that bait. You really think I'm gonna believe that Liz didn't let you in on her little secret? I'm not that stupid.
(Max and Liz are window shopping and looking around for Agent Moss)
Max: Just look in the window like you're shopping. Ok, he's there. Now laugh, like I just said something funny.
Liz: (laughs) Max...
Max: We can't let him think we've seen him.
Liz: Do you really think this is gonna work?
Max: There's only one way to find out if he's really following us.
(Max and Liz enter the UFO Center)
Speaker: Flying saucers are real. There are 4 major conclusions after 37, almost 38 years of study...the 1st of the evidence is overwhelming that the earth is being visited by intelligent people in extraterrestrial spacecraft. In other words, some UFOs...
Max: Let's go.
Speaker: I think the truth is somewhere. I don't know where. I do think that this is going to be an ongoing situation until our federal government says, "look, we admit it. Here's what actually happened. Here's where the material went, and here are the results of our findings."
Max: We did our part.
(Outside the UFO Center Maria, Isabel, and Michael are waiting for Moss to tail him)
Michael: There he is.
Maria: Him?
Michael: What, you think I'm wrong?
Maria: No, he's just so avoidable.
Michael: If we didn't need your car...
Isabel: There's nobody around for a couple of blocks. I think we're safe.
Maria: Safe is not the word I would choose.
Isabel: Safe to follow him.
Maria: Oh.
Michael: But not close.
Maria: Relax. God, you guys act like I've never tailed someone before.
(Maria drives in reverse)
Isabel: Swell, he'll never notice us going backwards.
(Outside a motel)
Maria: How long is this gonna last? Us waiting here like this?
Michael: Why? You got a date?
Maria: Maybe.
Isabel: You know, I'm the one who should be complaining, stuck out here with you two.
Maria: He is never gonna leave that room.
(Moss comes out of the room)
Michael: Never?
(Isabel, Maria, and Michael duck as Moss drives by)
(In a hallway in school)
Liz: I'm really late for English, and I have to cover for Maria.
Max: I--I have Trig, so...
Liz: So i guess I'll just see you after school at the Crashdown. Hey. Um, maybe you could stay for dinner. You know, Blue Moon Burger, Saturn Rings, and a Mercury Milkshake for $3.99.
Max: Sounds tempting. But I should probably get home. Mom thinks I'm still recuperating.
Liz: Yeah...when I saw you in that car, I thought you were... It was like I couldn't breathe, you know?
Max: I never got a chance to thank you for what you did at the hospital. It was Alex who did it. He really came through. He always does. Max?
Max: We can't...tell him.
Liz: I know.
Max: But we have to tell him something.
Liz: You mean lie.
Max: Isabel saw him talking with Kyle today.
Liz: He saved your life, Max.
Max: Look, I know it's hard, but, please...
Liz: I already told him that it was drugs...over at the hospital.
Max: Did he believe you?
Liz: I think so.
Max: Liz. I am so sorry.
Liz: I guess these are the things you do when...when you feel a certain way about someone.
Max: I guess.
(Liz enters English class)
(At the motel, Michael and Maria are breaking into Moss' room)
Maria: I still don't understand why I have to do this.
Michael: I told you I need a lookout.
Maria: Isn't that what Isabel's doing?
Michael: Ok, so i need 2 lookouts.
Maria: You don't trust me. That's it, isn't it? You don't trust me. You give Isabel the real job because I...
Michael: You're gonna get us caught is what you're gonna do. Now stay watch and shut up.
Maria: This is the second time you've dragged me to some cheap motel.
Michael: Yeah, well, don't spread it around. You'll ruin my reputation.
Maria: What exactly are you looking for?
Michael: ID maybe? Something to tell us about this guy?
Maria: Luggage tags.
Michael: No tags.
Maria: You know, um, toiletries say a lot about a man, which, by the way, you should take note of, but I'm guessing you will have more luck by the phone. You know, notepads, messages, that sort of thing.
Michael: Just keep looking out the window, would you?
Maria: Listen. Any baby-sitter worth her salt knows that the best place to look is in the garbage can. It's always revealing.
Michael: Moss. His name's Moss.
Maria: First name or last name?
Michael: I don't know.
Maria: Keep looking, sherlock. What? What is it?
Michael: Looks like a phone number. Local.
(Maria picks up the phone and dials the number)
Michael: What are you doing?
Maria: You want to find out who's on the other end of the line, don't you?
Phone: Topolsky. Hello?
(Maria hangs up the phone)
Maria: That was Ms. Topolsky. Ms. Topolsky as in school Ms. Topolsky. All right. Either she's taking her job way too seriously, or she's not exactly a guidance counselor.
(Topolsky is walking by some tables and notices Alex sitting by himself)
Topolsky: I used to peel the marshmallow off so I could get straight to the cupcake inside.
Alex: Oh. Hmmpf.
Topolsky: Can I join you?
Alex: Oh, yeah. Sure. Here.
(Topolsky slips some drug into Alex's drink)
Topolsky: Actually, I'm glad I ran into you. Remember that AP tutorial we talked about in computer languages for next semester? You're in.
Alex: Real--oh...thank...thank you so much. I can't believe you put that together for me.
Topolsky: Cheers.
Alex: Cheers.
Topolsky: Good things happen to good people, Alex. I heard what you did for Max.
(Alex coughs)
Alex: You did?
Topolsky: Getting over to the hospital right away like that after his accident. I heard a group of you went.
Alex: How do you, um...
Topolsky: The school keeps me in the loop about these things. In case anybody wants to talk about it afterwards.
Alex: Yeah, well, um...yeah. We just, uh...wanted to see how he was doing. You know? No big thing.
Topolsky: Don't sell yourself short, Alex. I mean, that's how you find out who your real friends are. Who shows up in situations like that. I must admit, I have my concerns about Max, but if he's a friend of yours...
Liz: Are you talking about Max? Well, Max is just fine. In fact, he's back at school. So there's nothing to worry about, right?
Alex: Right.
Topolsky: I heard you got a little shaken up yourself. Everything ok?
Liz: Totally.
Topolsky: Why don't you stop by my office later? We'll talk some more.
Alex: Ok. Thanks again.
Liz: Alex...please...
Alex: If I had a therapist, he'd say talking to you is detrimental to my mental health.
Liz: I am sorry, Alex, for everything.
Alex: Got that off your chest now?
Liz: Now look, Alex, I just...I need to make sure that you haven't told anybody anything about the hospital. You know, about that... about that drug thing.
Alex: Look, are we all covering for Max now? Is that it? I mean, me and Kyle...
Liz: Kyle? No. Alex...Kyle??
Alex: Well, he knows, too, doesn't he? Look, how long do you think you can keep something like this a secret before it all blows up in your face and...
(Alex starts bleeding from his nose)
Liz: Ewww.
Alex: Oh, god. Oh, god.
Liz: Alex, are you ok? You ok? Let me help you.
Alex: No, Liz, I don't need your help, all right? I can take care of myself.
(In bathroom, Alex is cleaning the blood out of his nose)
Jock: Tough game of dodge ball, Whitman?
Alex: Yeah, sure. Why not? Loser.
(At the Crashdown, Michael is explaining what he and Maria found out at Moss' room at the motel while Maria is explaining it to Liz)
Michael: So, I checked the garbage cans, cuz that's the best place to look for information.
Maria: Anyway, so space boy is looking at this guy's after-shave, so I tell him to look in the trash cuz, you know, that's where you find the best trash. And what do we find?
Michael: A phone number. So I put it together and I figure the best way to find out who's on the other end of the line is to call.
Maria: We'd still be there if I hadn't picked up the phone and dialed. And of course he takes this opportunity to lean in as close to me as possible.
Michael: So I could barely hear, because she was hanging all over me trying to listen, but there's no way I wouldn't recognize that voice.
Maria: Clear as a bell, no mistake.
Michael: Topolsky.
Maria: That's right. Ms. Topolsky. All-American guidance counselor and big, fat liar.
Michael: Never trust a blonde.
Max: Are you sure?
Maria: Positive. I smelled her from day one, remember?
Liz: Maria, this is bad. Really bad.
Max: Who knows how much she's found out about us already.
Michael: Or who she's heard it from.
Isabel: Or who she'll tell.
Liz: Alex was with her. I heard them talking about Max.
Maria: He's not a snitch. Besides, he doesn't know anything to tell. Does he?
Max: Liz told him we were into drugs. Just to get him to stop asking questions.
Isabel: Great. That'll be a lot easier to explain to mom and dad.
Max: He's not gonna say anything.
Liz: He's not gonna say anything.
Maria: Right.
Michael: Stick a fork in us, Maxwell. We're done.
(Alex knocks on the door to Topolsky's office and enters)
Alex: Hey, you wanted to see me?
Topolsky: Close the door, Alex. Sit down.
Alex: I've got chorale in a few minutes, so, uh..
Topolsky: I know, Alex. I know everything.
Alex: Wh-what's everything?
Topolsky: The hospital. The blood test. What you did for Max and why. I don't have to tell you how serious this is. I can help you. I have friends, Alex. They can be your friends, too.
Alex: What kind of friends?
Topolsky: The sheriff won't be involved, if that's what you're worried about. Nothing on your permanent record. I want you to be safe.
Alex: You think I'm not safe?
Topolsky: Can any of us really be safe with Max Evans around? Why don't you write down everything? Everything you know, and sign it. Whenever you're ready, Alex, I'm here. Think about who it is you're protecting. What friend would put you in a position like this?
Alex: What about your friends? Uh...who are they?
Topolsky: People you can trust. Like me.
(Alex leaves and goes to his locker, opens it, and sticks his head in)
Max: You ok?
Alex: Not really.
Max: I think we need to talk.
Alex: About what?
Max: About what you did for me at the hospital.
Alex: Yeah, what...was that? I'd like to know.
Max: You saved my life.
Alex: Yeah, well, you screwed up mine.
Max: I didn't mean to.
Alex: Yeah, well, you're here to thr*at me now, right? I mean, you're here to scare me into shutting up about faking the whole blood sample thing. Well, you're too late, Max. She already knows.
Max: Who already knows?
Alex: Topolsky.
Max: You told Topolsky?
Alex: No, she told me. She wanted me to sign some sort of confession.
Max: Did you?
Alex: Now you know what it's like being in the dark, Max.
Max: Alex, I'm trying to protect you.
Alex: I didn't know so many people cared.
(Alex leaves and Liz walks up to Alex's locker and slips a note into it)
Voice-Over: Moments. It's amazing how one can just change things so radically. How a wild horse deciding to cross the road at that exact time could be responsible for Max being discovered. I need one more moment now. One more chance to change direction, to stop something bad from turning into something worse.
(Alex shows up at the Crashdown before it's open)
Liz: Thanks for coming.
Alex: I've met you here a thousand times, but it just doesn't feel the same. You know?
Liz: Yeah. I know. Alex. You've been my friend since Ms. Elmer's class in the fifth grade.
Alex: No no no. We actually met in fourth, but you didn't notice me till fifth.
Liz: Yes. And I've come to you with every problem I've ever had.
Alex: Until now.
Liz: No, even now. What happened at that hospital with Max, that was like the most important thing I ever had to do in my life. And I called you. Alex, this is the hardest thing I have ever asked anyone to do. Look, I need you...I need you to believe in me, even though I can't--I can't tell you what you want to know.
Alex: Because of Max.
Liz: No, forget Max, Alex. This is between us. Look, I told you before this was complicated. Well, maybe it's not. There is a right side, and there is a wrong side. And if you choose the wrong side right now, Alex, something really terrible is gonna happen...to all of us. I am begging you, Alex. If 5 years of friendship have meant anything to you, please trust me. I swear to you, I am on the right side.
(Alex knocks on Topolsky's door and enters her office)
Alex: I've thought about what you said. And I'm not worried about me right now. It's Liz. Look. If--if i do this, if i give you what you want, what happens to her? I mean, what--what do your friends do?
Topolsky: She'll be questioned. They'll probably want to do some medical tests to make sure she wasn't harmed in any way.
Alex: But no...no police, right?
Topolsky: No.
Alex: But if--if they're involved in drugs then...ti is drugs, isn't it?
Topolsky: Just write down everything that happened at the hospital, and we'll take it from there.
(Liz knocks on Topolsky's door and enters)
Topolsky: Is something wrong, Liz?
Liz: Can I see you for a second? Privately. It's really important.
Topolsky: I'll be right back. You can go ahead and start that project we were talking about.
(Liz and Topolsky go outside into the hallway)
Topolsky: So, what's the emergency?
Liz: Look, I don't know what Alex has been telling you, but there is something you should know.
Topolsky: I'm listening.
Liz: It's just that, um...Alex. He's sort of changed all of a sudden. I don't know. It's like--like he's paranoid or something. See, we have been friends forever, and this year I have made some new friends, and I just think that--that he's feeling a little hurt. Has he ever said anything to you about this at all?
(In Topolsky's office, Alex sits down behind Topolsky's desk)
Topolsky: Liz, you know I can't discuss my counseling sessions with other students. That wouldn't be right.
Liz: Yeah, I know. I understand that. It's just that I'm afraid that he might be saying some things to you that...that could really hurt somebody.
Topolsky: We both know Alex. I think we can trust that he'll do the right thing, don't you?
(Alex dials a number on the modem)
Liz: But you don't understand his state of mind right now.
Topolsky: Let's let Alex speak for himself, ok?
(Alex is trying to see Topolsky's e-mail but fails)
Alex: Damn.
Topolsky: Now I really should get back to him.
Liz: No, wait. Ms. Topolsky, wait! I mean...can't we just talk about this some more?
(Topolsky opens the door to find Alex sitting behind her desk in front of her computer. He tilts the computer so the display is facing Topolsky and we see the logo of the FBI and Department of Justice)
Topolsky: If you think you've just helped yourselves, you're wrong. You're playing games with something very dangerous.
Alex: What's the FBI doing at West Roswell?
Topolsky: This isn't going to end just because you know who I am. I was on your side. I just hope your friend Max doesn't end up in the wrong hands without me here.
Alex: Ok, all right. You are going to tell me exactly what has been going on with Max and Topolsky and the actual FBI or I swear, Liz, this is the end of you and me being friends.
Liz: No Alex, don't say things...
Alex: What? Something that I won't go through with? Liz, I'm not kidding. All right? Now either you tell me the truth, or I walk.
Liz: Alex, I can't.
(Scene fades out as Alex turns around and walks off down the hallway visibly dejected, and Liz contemplates how far she's willing to go to protect Max) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x07 - Blood Brother"} | foreverdreaming |
"Heat Wave"
Episode: 9
9th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA08
Written by: Jason Katims
Original Air Date: Wednesday December 1, 1999
(Episode begins in the Crashdown Cafe at night. Maria is cleaning the restaurant area downstairs and Liz is studying upstairs. Liz eats a doughnut and goes to the fridge to get some milk, but there isn't much left. We see Maria turn around facing the entrance of the Crashdown - Michael is outside looking in. Maria opens the door and Michael enters. Michael and Maria start kissing and things get a bit steamy between them. Liz, who comes downstairs looking for something to drink, hears noises and slowly peeks into the main part of the restaurant and sees Maria and Michael together on the counter)
(Opening credits)
DJ: It's 7:36, and it's another white hot day in this bizarre December heat wave. We're already pushing 90 at the silos and, at this rate...
Voice-Over: It's December 2nd, 1999. I'm Liz Parker, and this heat wave has made everyone crazy.
(Liz walks through the halls at school seeing everyone coupled with someone else)
Voice-Over: Heat expands, melts, makes things boil, sets things on f*re. And seeing the effect of this heat all around me just pointed out in this really blatant way how my life wasn't expanding...that I was stuck.
(We see Michael and Maria making out in the janitor's closet)
Maria: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm dying here. This is so uncharacteristic.
(Liz comes out of a classroom and runs into Kyle)
Kyle: Liz.
Liz: Hi, Kyle.
Kyle: Hi. You know Vicky Delaney.
Liz: Oh, sure. Hi, Vicky. How's it going?
Vicky: Really good actually. Um, hey, Kyle and I are going to this thing on Friday night. You should come.
Kyle: No no, see, that's not Liz's kind of thing...
Liz: A party?
Vicky: Yeah, it's at the old soap factory. It should be pretty wild.
Liz: Is that even legal?
Kyle: See? I told ya it wasn't your kind of thing. So...
Liz: You know, um, a party on Friday really sounds great. Um, so maybe I'll just see you two there.
Vicky: See? I told ya she'd be cool.
Liz: Later.
Kyle: Right.
(Liz walks off and sees Alex being led by Valenti into the Principal's office)
Sheriff: So, you and Ms. Topolsky...
Alex: ...went over my schedule for next semester.
Sheriff: And there was nothing that seemed odd about her behavior that day?
ALEX; No, sir.
(Liz is looking for Max and finds him in the library)
Liz: Hi. I've been looking for you all over. I just saw Valenti talking to Alex. They were in the principal's office.
Max: What did Alex say to him?
Liz: I haven't been able to find him yet. Not that he'll really talk to me once I do.
Max: Liz, i'm sorry.
Liz: It's ok. It's not your fault, you know? I'm just a little bit worried right now. He won't talk to Maria or me, you know? I've never even seen him like this before. Oh, but there is one piece of good news. Kyle started seeing someone. Vicky Delaney.
Max: Oh.
Liz: So maybe she's gonna take his mind off all of his suspicions.
Max: Right.
Liz: Right. Oh, and apparently it's gotten really serious. Because they're going to this party together on Friday night. You know, at the old soap factory.
Max: Right.
Liz: It's kinda funny, isn't it? You know, how people have started pairing up and moving forward. Um...have you noticed anything strange about Michael lately?
Max: What do you mean?
Liz: Maybe just the way he acts around Maria. You know, have you observed any differences in his behavior at all?
Max: Are you saying there's something going on between Michael and Maria?
Liz: No, I'm not. I'm not saying that. Would it be bad if there were?
Max: Yes! I mean...I don't know.
(Outside Topolsky's office, Maria's mom is making a scene)
Amy: Ok, I need to speak to someone with some kind of authority. Cuz this is unacceptable. I demand to know what's going on here. Not tomorrow, not the next day, right now!
Clerk: I'll see what I can do.
(Amy turns around and sees Sheriff Valenti)
Amy: Oh, jeez.
Sheriff: Amy De Luca.
Amy: Hello, Sheriff.
Sheriff: So, ya stayin' out of the slammer?
Amy: Oh, very amusing.
Sheriff: What are you doing here?
Amy: This Topolsky woman calls me up, leaves me this cryptic message that I need to come in here and discuss my daughter's future. And then when I get here, they tell me she's...well, the word they use is "disappeared". You know, I carve time out of my hectic schedule to meet her.
Sheriff: You know, being a single parent myself, I know how difficult that can be.
Amy: Really? Well, it looks like we finally have something in common.
Sheriff: Will wonders never cease?
Amy: (chuckles) Yeah.
(Amy and Valenti walk off in opposite directions)
(Liz is trying to talk to Alex as he's going towards his bicycle)
Liz: Alex! Alex, please wait. Will you just give me a chance?
Alex: What?
Liz: Let's just try and talk.
Alex: What do you want from me? More blood? A urine sample? How about my kidney?
Liz: Alex, I just want you to be my friend again.
Alex: No, you don't. You just want to protect Max Evans from whatever it is you're protecting him from. This has nothing to do with our friendship.
Liz: No, that's not true.
Alex: You said that you were going to tell me what was going on, and you didn't, all right? I trusted you!
Liz: Alex, I know.
Alex: So just tell me now then, all right? Just tell me, and it'll be ok.
Liz: I can't.
Alex: It's amazing. You wanna know what? A couple weeks ago, if someone were to ask me who I would trust with my life other than my parents, I would have said you without skipping a b*at. And now...now I feel like I don't even know who you are.
Liz: Alex, I want to tell you, I do, but...it's not my secret to tell. Alex, I need to know what you told Sheriff Valenti.
Alex: I want to tell ya, Liz...but it's not my secret to tell.
(Alex rides off on his bicycle)
(The following scenes are of Liz and Maria talking to each other in the girl's bathroom, and Max and Michael talking to each other in the men's room)
Liz: What are ya doin'?
Maria: Nothing.
Liz: Maria, it's 105 degrees outside, and you're wearing a turtleneck.
Maria: So?
Liz: Here. Try this. I saw you and Michael together at the Crashdown the other night.
Max: Hey, Michael.
Michael: Max.
Max: How's it goin'?
Michael: Decent.
Max: Listen, I was just wondering if we could talk about something.
Michael: Sure.
Max: Just in terms of you and Maria. There isn't...I mean, nothing's been going on between you two...has there?
Maria: We were just sucking face.
Liz: Look, I am sure that you're saying to yourself, "just go for it", right? I mean, sure, you see everyone else going for it. Suddenly there is this heat wave, and everybody is going for it.
Michael: I just figured, go for it, you know? I don't know what I was thinkin'.
Max: You know, I just thought we had guidelines about this. We agreed to discuss before we acted on any...you know, urges.
Michael: Well, I hate to tell you this, Max, but when i have urges, you're not exactly the first person I think about.
Max: Yeah, I realize that. But the point is, we can't let things spin out of control. I mean, sure, it starts as a kiss...
Michael: It's more than that.
Max: How much more?
Michael: I don't know, Max. It feels so wrong, but it feels so good.
Liz: It feels good? What is going on here? You and Michael. Kyle and Vicky. Ms. Hardy and Mr. Krewlick. Look, the point here, Maria, is that I don't see you and Michael together. Do you two talk or do you just like...
Maria: Of course, we talk.
(Maria and Michael are making out in another room)
Maria: Shouldn't we like, talk or something?
Michael: About what?
Maria: I don't know, you kinda just pulled me and dragged me in here. Shouldn't we at least like exchange pleasantries?
Michael: How're ya doin'?
Maria: Fine, and you? So, did you hear about this party Friday night at the old soap factory?
Michael: I guess.
Maria: Are you gonna go?
Michael: I don't know.
Maria: You don't know?
Michael: Friday's like years from now.
(Amy De Luca is trying to sell cocktail stirrers with alien faces at the tips to Jeff Parker at the Crashdown Cafe)
Jeff: So, um, what are these guys?
Amy: Cocktail stirrer. Take a gross. People love them.
Jeff: Hmm....ok.
Amy: And this one glows in the dark.
Jeff: Get out of here. Really?
Amy: Yes.
(Sheriff Valenti walks in)
Amy: Sheriff, uh...
Sheriff: Hi. I stopped by your shop. They told me you were here.
Amy: Oh, nothing's wrong?
Sheriff: No, nothing's wrong. It's just, uh...
Sheriff (to Jeff): It's kinda personal.
Jeff: Oh. (chuckles)
(Mr. Parker leaves Mrs. De Luca and Sheriff Valenti alone)
Sheriff: Um...Amy...listen, about what happened. It's just, uh...I realize it was a long time ago, and I just want to make sure that you know that...I was just doing my job.
Amy: Oh, yeah. Well, I appreciate the sentiment, Sheriff, but it did scar me for life and all, so...
Sheriff: You were breaking the law. You were stopping honest, hard-working people from doing their jobs.
Amy: Those honest hard-working people were destroying a 200-year-old piece of Native American architecture...raping our town of its history.
Sheriff: Amy, the Native Americans wanted that thing torn down more than anybody.
Amy: That's not the point.
Sheriff: Well, it is kinda the point...
Amy: There were more than 20 of us out there that day. I was 18. Naive. Clueless. Why did you pick on me?
Sheriff: Cuz you were cute.
Amy: Cute?
Sheriff: You were wearing the cowboy boots and a little skirt. Well, I had to arrest somebody, so...
(Amy laughs nervously)
Amy: Well, I don't know what to say. I'm outraged. I am now outraged. You are looking at an outraged woman. Sorry. It must be the heat.
Sheriff: I just, uh...I just wanted to apologize. It's good to see you again, Amy.
Amy: (chuckles) Well...
(Maria walks in)
Maria: Mom. What are you doing here?
Amy: Oh, hi Maria. Um, you know Jim.
Maria: Jim?
(Liz and Isabel are painting toenails together)
Liz: So, um, what about guys? Cuz it kinda seems that you've got all these guys in school interested in you...like, practically every single one of them, but you kinda tend to keep pretty platonic.
Isabel: Have you been researching me or something?
Liz: No, I haven't been researching you. I just...I don't know, I was just kind of curious if there was a reason you don't move forward with any of it. If it's because of the fact that--
Isabel: Are you afraid...I mean, to let someone in? To let someone see who you really are?
Liz: Yeah, of course I am.
Isabel: Well, multiply that by about a million.
Liz: Yeah, right.
(Isabel glances over and sees that Liz is using clear nail polish. She touches her index finger to one of Liz's sandals)
Isabel: Open your hand.
(Isabel touches Liz's bottle of nail polish and the color turns into a shade of blue, matching Liz's sandals)
Isabel: At least we can do cool stuff like that.
Isabel: So, what's going on with your little friend Alex?
Liz: Yeah, he's pretty upset.
Isabel: Well, you've known him forever. What's the bottom line? Is he gonna cave?
Liz: I don't know. I kinda wish i knew what was going on inside of him.
Isabel: I'll look into it.
Liz: What do you mean you're gonna "look into it"?
Isabel: Nothing. Forget it.
(Isabel goes to sleep using her power. She touches a picture of Alex in a yearbook and falls asleep. She wakes up in Alex's dream and follows him into this ballroom. Alex is waiting for his date and to Isabel's surprise, Alex's dream date is Isabel)
Singer: We'll take it from here.
Dream Isabel: Hello, Alex.
Alex: Hello.
Dream Isabel: Thank you for inviting me.
Alex: My pleasure. I've been watching you and all you do for quite some time knowing all the ins and outs of you. I should have known what was on your mind but all the world is spinning round and round inside my head tonight.
Dream Isabel: You really think of me?
Alex: I think that underneath that beautiful exterior is an even more beautiful interior. But I have a feeling that not too many people get to see that interior, do they?
Dream Isabel: No, they don't.
Alex: Cuz it's too scary to show who you really are. You can show me.
Dream Isabel: I can?
Alex: Yeah.
(The next morning, Max is arguing with Isabel about using her powers to enter Alex's dream)
Max: I can't believe you did that.
Isabel: Liz couldn't control the guy. I needed to know what was going on in there.
Max: So, what did you find out?
Isabel: I told you, it was confusing.
Max: You were able to get in there, right?
Isabel: Yeah, I got in there.
Max: So, what happened? What was he dreaming about?
Isabel: Well, he's a complex individual with...a lot of complexities.
Max: Are you ok?
Isabel: Yeah. Why?
Max: Cuz you look a little flushed...like you're blushing.
Isabel: It's the heat, all right? Max, I went in there. I saw some things. I'm not exactly sure what they meant. I'm walking around in somebody's subconscious. It's not a hard science.
Max: Is there something you want to talk about? Did something happen in there?
Isabel: Look, I can take care of the Alex situation. I saw what i needed to see, which is that...out of all the people involved, I'm the one who can control him. Just a little old fashioned charm.
Max: You sure?
Isabel: Yes, I'm sure.
Max: You have everything...
Isabel: Under control. Yes.
(Max walks into the men's bathroom and finds Michael waiting)
Max: Hey.
Michael: Hey.
Max: What's wrong? Maria?
Michael: It has gotten complicated. Suddenly, she wants to know where I'm going after school. She wants to have conversations. She wants to talk about my feelings. And now, she wants to go to a party together.
Max: That thing at the old soap factory?
Michael: Right. Like suddenly the eraser room's not enough. I can't let this become a public thing. I mean, she should know that. But all week long I've had this weird feeling. Like I was gonna hurt her or something. That just being who I am is gonna hurt her.
(Max is looking for Liz and finds her in the bio lab)
Max: Hey.
Liz: Hey, what's up? I'm just trying to get these stupid slugs to mate. Ah, come on! Won't you guys just do it?
Max: Maybe one of 'em's gay.
Liz: Max, you know when you said before that we couldn't be together? That we were different? I just sort of accepted it, you know? Because I thought that it was like physically impossible. That it...that it couldn't be. But when I saw Maria with Michael...the truth is that...I was hurt, Max. Why is it ok for them, but it's not ok for us?
Max: Liz, I think that what I'm afraid of isn't that we try this and it works out really badly. What I'm afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I'm afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it's not meant to be. And somewhere down the line, we're gonna get hurt. I can live with that. I just couldn't bear to hurt you.
Liz: But that's not your decision, is it?
Max: I guess not.
Bio Teacher: Hey, Liz. How are you doing on your mating ritual?
Liz: I was doing just fine.
(Isabel finds Alex in a hallway at school)
Isabel: Hey, Alex.
Alex: Uh uh hi.
Isabel: You look good today.
Alex: I do? Oh, thanks.
Isabel: So, tonight...that party everyone's talking about, you interested?
Alex: Yeah. Yeah, sure. Tell me how it goes.
Isabel: Interested in going?
(Isabel unbuttons the top button on Alex's shirt)
Isabel: Meet me there at 8:00.
(At the rave at the old soap factory)
Liz: Maria!
Maria: Hey!
Liz: Hey. Um...have you seen Max anywhere? He was supposed to meet me here.
Maria: Uh, no. I'll talk to you later, ok?
Liz: Oh, hey, Alex!
Punk: All right, Octavio, let's whip this party into shape.
Alex: Isabel!
Isabel: Alex!
Alex: Hey!
Isabel: Hey! You look...you look great.
(Isabel unbuttons Alex's top shirt button)
Alex: You, too. You know, I like the way you look in red.
Isabel: I know you do.
Alex: So, listen, just to...to clarify, when...when you asked me to come to this party tonight, did you mean like come with you or...or was it more just like letting me know that this party existed, you know? Because that would be amazing in and of itself. I'm...I'm just curious.
Isabel: You wanna go someplace?
Alex: Go...go someplace?
Isabel: To talk.
Alex: Oh, talk. Yeah, sure...sure.
(Some punks are trying to set up a sound system)
Punk: Whoa! Excellent!
Punk: Babe-o-rama. Hey.
Liz: Hey.
Punk: Do you ever do, uh, jello sh**t?
Liz: No, thank you.
Punk: Go on, try one. Maybe, uh, loosen you up. Maybe later we could check out the roof together.
Max: She said no, thank you.
Punk: Sorry, dude. Didn't know she was taken.
Liz: I thought maybe you changed your mind.
Max: I've been waiting for this for a long time.
(At a secluded part of the soap factory, Maria confronts Michael)
Maria: You've been ignoring me the whole night. Look, I'm not some pollyanna, ok? I don't think what we have is true love. I don't know what we have. I just...I don't understand why you have to avoid me. It hurts, that's all.
(Michael is silent)
Maria: Fine. Good-bye.
(Maria turns to leave)
Michael: I just don't really do this.
Maria: Don't do what?
Michael: Get intense like this.
Maria: I'm not getting intense.
Michael: Yes, you are.
Maria: Well, you got pretty intense the other night at the Crashdown.
Michael: Sorry, I can't get this involved. I'm alone, and that's the way it's gotta be. Maybe we should've never started this.
Maria: I'm gonna go outside and get some air.
(At another secluded part of the soap factory, Isabel and Alex sit down to chat)
Isabel: You're a really, really good guy, Alex.
Alex: Oh, thank you, Isabel. Thank you.
Isabel: No, really. I mean, most guys are just disgusting animals whose sole purpose in life is to try to maul me. But you're different.
Alex: I am? I mean, I am! Yeah. Oh, yeah. I just...I don't see you that way, Isabel. Not that i wouldn't want to...
Isabel: I think I know how you feel.
Alex: You do?
Isabel: Yeah...which is why I think I know that I can trust you.
Alex: Trust me?
Isabel: Yeah, we all can. Liz, Max, all of us.
Alex: So that's what this is about.
Isabel: What?
Alex: You brought me here tonight to find out what I said to Valenti?
Isabel: Alex...
Alex: Oh, how could I even believe that you were actually interested in me? Oh, I've been such a fool.
(Alex walks off)
(Max and Liz are having fun at the rave)
(Across town, Sheriff Valenti and Amy De Luca are having dinner together)
Amy: The truth is...I think I was just a bit upset when that Topolsky person called me. Maria and I aren't as close as we used to be.
Sheriff: I'm never sure what's going on with Kyle these days. I mean, there was a time before Michelle and I broke up...
Amy: I know, I know. Maria used to tell me every single detail of her life. We'd have these long, intense conversations and...you know, and now she's just so guarded, I...take the whole Alex situation...
Sheriff: Alex?
Amy: Alex Whitman. Maria, Liz, and Alex used to be inseparable. They'd go everywhere together, do everything...she hardly even speaks to him now. She has not seen him in weeks. And she won't tell me what it's about.
Waiter: Sheriff. Uh, there's a phone call for you. It's an emergency.
Sheriff: Yeah? All right. I'm on my way.
Sheriff (to Amy): Amy, I am so sorry about this. There's been a disturbance across town.
Amy: Oh, it's ok.
(Max and Liz go outside for a little more privacy)
Max: It's uh, it's a little quieter out here.
Liz: Yeah. It's more private.
Max: So...
Liz: So...let's hope nothing explodes.
(As Liz and Max move to kiss, Kyle sees them and interrupts)
Kyle: Hi! Enjoying the party?
(Sirens sound as f*re trucks and police cars arrive at the rave)
Max: Let's get outta here!
Fireman: Boys, evacuate!
(Liz and Max go back into the soap factory to look for Michael and Isabel)
Max: Let's get Michael and Isabel and get outta here!
Liz: Right.
(Liz looks for Isabel and/or Michael and runs into Alex)
Liz: Alex. Where's Isabel?
Alex: What's going on?
Liz: We have to get out of here.
Alex: What?
Liz: We have to get outta here.
Punk: Here, take these.
(Punk hands Liz and Alex each a bottle of liquor)
Alex: Liz!
Sheriff: I need you 2 to come with me.
(Sheriff arrests Liz, Alex, and the Punks as Max looks back in concern)
(In the jail cell, one of the punks belches)
Punk: Good one, dude.
Liz: Alex.
Alex: Forget it, Liz.
Liz: I'm really sorry.
Alex: Don't talk to me, please.
Liz: This is gonna be ok.
Alex: Liz, will you shut up!
Punk: Dude...relax. This has happened to me like 10 times, man. Your parents are gonna be here in no time.
Deputy: Lyons, Coleman, Kalinowski, and Baker. Rise and shine! Parents are here.
Punk (to Alex): You see, I told you they'd come. Now look. They say a bond forms when you do time together. I love you, man.
Punk (to Liz): Ditto.
Liz: I think it has to be longer than 2 hours.
Punk: See you around.
Liz: Where are our parents?
Sheriff: They all agreed with me. Some time in jail might make the 2 of you remember what your priorities are. Or maybe even just one of you.
Liz: Alex.
Alex: Liz...
Liz: No, Alex, this is not as bad as it seems, I promise. Ok, we just...the 2 of us, we need to get our stories straight.
Alex: Liz! I'm in jail, ok? I'm now in jail! I'm through lying!
Liz: Alex...
(Outside the police station, one of the punks is trying to convince his father that they were innocent)
Punk: Obviously, it's not our fault, all right. They kept the other guys, not us.
Isabel: He let everybody else go except Liz and Alex. We are so screwed.
Max: It's gonna be ok.
Isabel: We should have told him.
Max: What?
Isabel: Alex. We should have told him about us. I...I know this sounds crazy, Max, but I feel something about him...like, he's ok...like, we'd be better off including him.
(Back inside the jail cells)
Liz: Alex...Alex...Alex, I just need to talk to you. Uh, I just want to...
Alex: Let me just ask you...did you arrange that whole Isabel thing?
Liz: What...what Isabel thing?
Alex: You know, I mean, uh...her trying to seduce me into keeping quiet?
Liz: I don't know anything about that, Alex, I swear.
Alex: Cuz it's...cuz it's just low, you know? I mean, she's just low. And I'm done. I'm done protecting you...or her, or anyone else you're associated with. Cuz I'm telling Sheriff Valenti everything. Verbatim. About replacing Max's blood at the hospital, discovering Topolsky was FBI, everything.
Liz: No, look, look, Alex...look, listen to me. You had just...you should just know all of the facts before you do something like this.
Alex: Well, I thought you said it wasn't your secret to tell.
Liz: Alex, the reason that Isabel did whatever it is that she did is not that she's low, she's just...she's scared.
Alex: Scared.
Liz: Yes.
Alex: Scared of what?
Liz: She...she's scared of being different.
Alex: Oh, come on. Save it.
Liz: Alex...Max and Michael and Isabel, they are different from us. They're different from us in a way that, if the wrong people found out, they would be in a lot of trouble.
Alex: I know the whole drugs thing is a load of crap, Liz. I mean, why would the FBI be so interested in 3 kids into drugs?
Liz: No, Alex, listen to me. This doesn't have anything to do with drugs. Alex...Max, Michael, and Isabel...they aren't from around here.
Alex: Where are they from?
(Liz points up)
Alex: What? Like, Wyoming?
(Liz points higher up)
Alex: Oh...ok, fine. Canada. They're Canucks. So what, you're saying the FBI is all over them because they're like...illegal aliens?
Liz: Yeah, sort of. Listen, Alex...they're from somewhere else.
Alex: Liz, what are you talking about?
Liz: God, there isn't any way for me to say this, but to just...but to just say this, ok? Look, Alex...they think they were in the 1947 crash. Ok, they were like in these incubation pods for a really long time...like 40 years, and they came out in like the form of humans...and now all of these people suspect them. That's why Topolsky's here, and that's why Valenti arrested us, and that's why we're here because he knows that I'm involved. I'm really sorry, Alex, but...you're involved, too.
Alex: Liz, are you ok?
Liz: Alex...you don't even understand. The past few months have been like absolute t*rture lying to you. I will never, ever lie to you again. I promise.
(Sheriff comes down to interrogate Alex)
Sheriff: Whitman! Sleep all right? What say we go down to my office?
Alex: No. Right here. I'm ready to talk.
Sheriff: All right. I wanna know what your involvement is with Liz, Max, Michael, and Isabel. And I wanna know what happened with Ms. Topolsky.
(Alex takes a look at Liz and then looks back at Sheriff Valenti)
Alex: I'm ready to talk about the fact that i'm a kid. I'm 16 years old. I'm a h*m* in high school, so what could I possibly have to do with a teacher leaving? What does any of this have to do with you, anyway?
Sheriff: I'm just doing my job, son.
Alex: I was at a party! And my only wish was that while I was there, I engaged in some sort of depraved activity, like drinking or sex, but I didn't. I didn't break any laws.
Sheriff: Everybody who was at that party was trespassing on private property, and both of you were minors in possession of alcohol.
Alex: This has nothing to do with that party, does it? Sheriff, I want out of here...right now. I demand it, or I'm going to get a lawyer and I'm going to sue for abusive treatment of a minor. I may be 16, but I know my rights.
(Liz and Alex come out of the police station thanks to Alex's persuasiveness)
Liz: Alex, you were amazing.
Alex: Well, yeah. Yeah, I was.
Liz: Uh, so...um, how do you feel? You know, about what I said?
Alex: Well, part of me, uh...part of me feels like you've gone insane, and the other part of me feels like I want some of the massive doses of hallucinogens you've obviously been taking. But...I don't believe in aliens.
Liz: Neither did I...you don't believe me, do you?
Alex: I believe that you believe. Leave it at that.
Liz: Ok.
(Alex and Liz hug)
Alex: Get home safe.
Liz: Ok.
Alex: See you at school.
(Alex walks off)
(Liz is on the roof writing in her journal)
Voice-Over: The heat wave finally broke and I'm probably the only person in Roswell who didn't benefit from it. But it's for the best. Because if Max Evans and I had given in to temptation, if we had kissed each other even once, it would have taken us somewhere we both know we never should have gone.
Max: Liz! Are you there?
(Liz walks over to the edge of the roof and looks down to see Max)
Max: Hi.
Liz: Hi.
Max: Can I come up?
Liz: Yeah, sure.
(Max climbs up the ladder very quickly)
Liz: Very impressive.
Max: I try.
Liz: You really can't stay long.
Max: I know. I just wanted to tell you that I've been thinking a lot about last night.
Liz: Yeah, me, too.
Max: When I saw Valenti taking you away like that...it just h*t home for me, you know? How much knowing me has screwed up your life.
Liz: No, it's just the opposite.
Max: Thank you for saying that.
Liz: It's the whole truth, Max.
Max: I better go.
Liz: Why?
Max: Cuz if I don't go right now, things are gonna change.
Liz: Change, how?
Max: I'm gonna have to touch your hair...cuz it's so soft...and I'd have to tell you that...no matter what we go through, it's all worthwhile for me because we're together.
Liz: And then?
Max: And then...I'd have to do this...
(Max gives Liz a light kiss)
(Scene fades out as Liz and Max share a long, passionate kiss) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x08 - Heat Wave"} | foreverdreaming |
"The Balance"
Episode: 10
10th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA09
Written by: Thania St. John
Original Air Date: Wednesday December 15, 1999
(Liz and Maria are working at the Crashdown. Liz is in a really good mood, while Maria is having a bad day)
Voice-Over: There are days when everything seems wrong, when little things just irk you for no good reason. And then there are days like today when the whole world just sings to you from the minute you open your eyes in the morning, till the minute you shut them again at night, days when you actually enjoy cleaning the milk shake machine.
Maria: God, this day sucks. Table 2 says their bacon's not crisp enough. Isn't anybody ever satisfied?
(Max and Michael enter the Crashdown)
Maria: Well, if it isn't Prince Charming and Quasimodo.
(Max and Michael sit down at their usual booth)
Michael: Hey, do we have to eat here?
Max: I'm, uh, really in the mood for a piece of Men in Black-berry pie. Reminds you of something, don't it?
Michael: Compared to nuclear winter, no.
Maria: What are you doing?
Liz: Max likes cherry cola. What does Michael like?
Maria: Cherry cola with arsenic?
Michael: Can we please leave? All right? I'll buy you a whole one at the House of Pies.
Max: What's your problem, Michael? I thought maybe you'd want to see Maria.
Michael: We kind of broke up.
Max: What? Why didn't you tell me?
Michael: Look, I don't...I'm not sure if we did or didn't. I mean, it's confusing.
Liz: Cherry cola. On the house.
Maria: Yours is $1.25.
Michael: Guess it's not really confusing anymore, is it?
(Michael gets up to leave and as he does so, he spills his glass of cola over the table. In the process, Max and Michael's books drop to the floor. Michael picks up Max's notebook and pulls out a sheet of paper that has hieroglyphic symbols from River Dog's cave drawn on it.)
Michael: What's this?
Max: Put that away.
Michael: Now, I know this. This is from...
Max: Not here, Michael.
Michael: What are you hiding from me, Max?
(Opening credits)
(Maria is filling an alien doll with lots of needles)
Alex: Anyone I know?
Maria: Alex, where have you been? We've been looking for you the last couple of days.
Alex: Oh, well, I've been feeling, you know, a little rocky about...things, you know? So I took some time, you know? A little personal reflection, a little research.
Maria: So, um, where did you come out in all of this?
Alex: Well, I've got 2 theories. One is that...uh, you and Liz have been brainwashed by a drug cult.
Maria: Yeah?
Alex: And the other is...I'm trapped inside some extremely long, extremely weird nightmare.
Maria: Yeah, well, the first couple of days were pretty tough for me, too, but trust me, they will not hurt you....I mean, physically.
Alex: What actually makes you believe in any of this?
Maria: Well, I guess when Liz was sh*t and Max dissolved the b*llet into nothingness and then repaired the damages inside of her that would have otherwise left her d*ad, I guess that kind of changed my thinking.
Alex: Well, I guess maybe I should talk with one of them directly.
Maria: Yeah.
Alex: Maybe Isabel.
Maria: Isabel. One piece of advice, ok? Don't get involved with them. I mean, look at me and Michael. Granted, the passion was outrageous, but in the end, they're pretty heartless.
(In Max's room at home, Michael and Isabel are asking Max about the symbols on the paper that Michael found in Max's notebook)
Max: I just drew it from memory. It was painted on the wall of the cave that River Dog took us to. I don't even know if it means anything.
Isabel: Of course it means something. Why else would we all recognize it? Just like the pendant, Max. It's like our language or something. It's familiar, but I can't seem to remember how to read it.
Michael: What i want to know is how long were you planning on keeping this from us, Max?
Max: Too much was happening, Michael. Topolsky was all over us, and I couldn't risk that...I just thought I should wait, that's all.
Michael: No, no, no. Go ahead and finish that. You couldn't take the risk that what? I would go do something stupid?
Max: That's not what I said.
Michael: Well, you didn't have to.
Isabel: I'm sure Max had his reasons, Michael.
Michael: Yeah, that he couldn't trust me with that. But he could trust Liz.
Max: She was there. I couldn't just...why am I defending myself? This is exactly why I didn't tell you. Because you would jump to some wild conclusion and go off and do something crazy without even telling us. I didn't think that was particularly wise with the FBI following us around.
Isabel: You should have told us, Max.
Mrs. Evans: Max, honey? Liz is here.
Max: We're just...going out.
Michael: You're going out?
Isabel: What? Like on a date?
Max: No, not at all. We both just kind of felt like Chinese food. It's no big deal.
Isabel: Then why are you changing your shirt?
Max: I'm late. We'll figure out the questions we want to ask, and then we'll go back to River Dog together, ok? Please, Michael. Leave it alone for now.
Michael: Fine. I'll wait.
Mrs. Evans: Max!
Max: We'll talk when I get back.
Michael: Do you ever wonder what else he tells Liz that he doesn't tell us?
Isabel: Oh, please. You're one to talk. What have you been whispering in Maria's ear lately?
Michael: At least I'm smart enough not to get attached. I can walk away from anybody if I have to.
Isabel: What is that supposed to mean?
Michael: It means I'm not gonna let Max's mistakes keep me from finding out what I need to know.
Isabel: Oh, Michael, you promised.
Michael: I promise I'll be as trustworthy as Max.
(Michael leaves out the window)
(Michael arrives at the Mescalero Indian reservation)
Michael: I'm looking for somebody named River Dog. River Dog.
Eddie: She's not deaf. She's just not answering you. My name's Eddie. Who are you?
Michael: Well, Eddie, I'm somebody looking for River Dog.
Eddie: He's busy...in the tent. It's a sacred ritual. You can't go in unless somebody invites you.
Michael: So invite me.
Eddie: It's a sweat. It's a spiritual cleansing. It's intense.
Michael: If that's where he is, then that's where I want to go.
(At the Crashdown, Alex and Isabel are sitting at a booth discussing humans and aliens)
Alex: It doesn't add up. I mean, the human body is the most intricate and complex machine in the universe. No matter how sophisticated your race is, I mean, how could you possibly just take on human form?
Isabel: Fine. I'm not an alien. Whatever you say.
Alex: Ok, then let's just say it were possible, all right? Why on earth would...excuse the phrase. Why would you be sent here to begin with? I mean, what purpose could you possibly have?
Isabel: To wipe out the world, one annoying teenager at a time.
Alex: Sorry.
Isabel: I don't know. When we came out of these pods, we looked just like normal kids. We've never been anything else but what you see. No green skin, no antennas. We have emotions, we feel pain, and we probably have more questions about ourselves than you do. I mean, haven't you ever felt different from everybody else? Like if you tried to reveal your true self to someone, they just would never understand.
Alex: Yeah.
Isabel: Well, that's what it's like to be us. We're just as human as you are, Alex...only we can manipulate the molecular structure of things.
Alex: What?
(Isabel reaches for a bottle of ketchup and turns the ketchup into mustard, leaving Alex with an amazed look on his face)
(Michael and Eddie enter the tent)
Michael: Is that River Dog?
Eddie: Don't worry. He knows you're here. No talking right now. Just follow the chant.
(Eddie and Michael take part in the ritual, drinking water from a bowl that is passed in a circle to each person in the tent. River Dog throws something into the f*re, causing the f*re to crackle with life. Eddie and Michael leave after a short time in the tent)
Eddie: I told you it was intense.
Michael: What the hell was that?
(Back in the Crashdown, Alex and Isabel continue their conversation)
Isabel: This is the closest we've ever come to any kind of connection with our...
Alex: With your home...yeah.
Isabel: Yeah. Look, the whole staring thing is making me very uncomfortable.
Alex: What staring thing?
Isabel: You haven't taken your eyes off me all night. It's like you're waiting for me to turn into something else.
Alex: Oh, I'm...I'm sorry. I won't stare at you anymore. I'll just...I'll look at this.
(Alex looks over the paper with the alien symbols on it)
Isabel: I think you've seen enough for one night.
(Liz and Max are on their date playing billiards. Liz is playing like a pool shark, making lots of different sh*ts)
Max: Very nice.
Liz: Make sure it's lined up.
Max: Like that?
Liz: Ok. Oh!
Liz: Ha ha. You have chalk on your face.
Liz: Like that.
(Liz and Max finish their dinner and Liz cracks open her fortune cookie)
Liz: Ok, this is my favorite part. It says, "this is the best night of your life."
Max: Is that really what it says?
Liz: Well, it's better than "a broken clock is still right twice a day."
Max: You're right. I like yours better.
Liz: Ok, let me see yours.
Max: "Ask a girl to dance with you."
Liz: Is that really what it says?
Max: It depends on your answer.
Liz: Yes.
Max: Then that's really what it says.
Liz: Ok.
(Max and Liz start dancing)
Liz: My parents are away for the weekend. They're at a stargazing camp-out. Something about Venus being in the morning sky.
Max: I thought she was right in front of me.
(Maria interrupts Max and Liz as they kiss)
Maria: Max. Liz. You guys have to come back to the Crashdown. It's Michael.
(Max, Liz, and Maria arrive back at the Crashdown to see Michael lying on the ground with his head on Isabel's lap. Isabel is stroking Michael's forehead)
Isabel: Something's wrong, Max. He's really sick.
(Michael seems to have recovered a little)
Isabel: Here, drink some more water. It's helping.
Michael: I feel better.
Maria: Maybe he should eat, you know? Starve a cold, feed a fever?
Alex: Echinacea always worked for me.
Michael: I said I was better, all right? I feel perfectly fine.
Isabel: You were burning up a minute ago, Michael.
Michael: Well, whatever it was, it's over now, ok? I just want to go home.
Max: I'll drive you.
Michael: I wouldn't want to ruin your date.
Isabel: We're leaving now. Alex, you need a ride?
Alex: What I really need is a sedative.
(As everyone starts to leave, Max and Liz silently stare at each other for a moment)
Isabel: Max?
(Max turns and leaves)
Liz: So I guess I'm just gonna h*t the hay. Thank you for... uh, locking up.
Maria: Not so fast. You know what this calls for?
(Liz and Maria are discussing Max and Michael while eating ice cream)
Liz: Nothing even happened. We kept getting interrupted.
Maria: Nothing happened?
Liz: Mm-mm. Well, yeah. The other night we um...we kissed.
Maria: And?
Liz: I don't think that we should talk about it.
Maria: Are you kidding? We have to talk about it. We're the only 2 people in this world capable of having this conversation.
Liz: That we know of.
Maria: Don't complicate things, ok? Who wants to go first? Fine, I'll start. I'll start. It was...expl*sive.
Liz: Yeah. Uh, that's a really good word.
Maria: Right?
Liz: Ok.
Maria: It was like every cell in my body felt the same cell in his and started heating up.
Liz: And I got really dizzy. Did you get dizzy?
Maria: I get dizzy just thinking about it.
Liz: Ok, you know like all of that time that I spent with Kyle...I didn't have any of those feelings that I did when I was with Max. What about you?
Maria: Doug Sohn in the eighth grade?
Liz: Yeah.
Maria: Amateur. Michael is the real thing.
Liz: Ok, now, here is the big question. Do you think that we feel like this just because of the fact that they're like...
Maria: Oh, their non-human status.
Liz: Right.
Maria: What if they've like ruined it for us with anyone else?
Liz: Yeah.
Maria: Leave it to Michael to just wreak havoc on the rest of my life, even though he wants no part of it.
Liz: Maria, he'll change his mind.
Maria: I don't think so. And besides, I've come to the conclusion that it can never happen. I mean, human-alien relationships are bound to be disasters. Just don't think that you can enter into something with Max and expect not to get hurt in the end of it. I mean, me? I'm teflon, babe. Michael starts acting like a total loser...I just walk away. But you and Max, ah. You guys have got that whole...look-into-my-eyes soul mate thing.
Liz: Um, yeah, you know, this...this whole thing is just, it's gonna work out. We just have to be prepared for anything that comes our way.
(Alex and Isabel go into the UFO Center)
Isabel: This place gives me the creeps.
Alex: Yeah, I can understand that now. There's something that I really have to show you. You know the drawing you showed me last night?
Isabel: Stop talking about it so loudly.
Alex: Well, it's been bugging me where I've seen something like it, so I came here. I looked around, and that's what I saw. It's this place. It's called Machu Picchu, right? It's in Peru, and it's full of stuff like this...I mean, exactly like in your drawing.
Isabel: Yeah, well, next you're gonna tell me that spacemen came here thousands of years ago to share all their secrets with cavemen, right? Forget it, Alex. Don't you think we've checked all this stuff out? It's just some stupid rumor like those ridiculous crop circles and the rest of the lies people tell to make a buck. Just let it go, ok?
Alex (out loud): Well, what if this could help you find your planet?
(Everyone becomes silent and shifts their heads to look at Alex. Milton walks over to Alex)
Milton (to Alex): What did you just say?
Milton (to Isabel): Evans' sister, right?
Isabel: Yeah.
Milton: I don't appreciate your attempt at humor, young man. We UFOlogists don't joke about things like that.
Alex: Yes, sir. Of course not. I apologize.
(Milton has a pensive look on his face as he walks away)
Alex: I'm sorry, I...
Isabel: Do you understand what a mistake like that would do in front of somebody who really mattered?
Alex: I'm sorry. I slipped. It won't happen again.
Isabel: God, Alex.
Alex: I'm sorry.
(There is some commotion somewhere else in the UFO Center)
Milton: All right, let us through, please. We're in charge.
Michael: Max. Get Max Evans.
Max: I'm here. I'm here.
(Michael opens his eyes are they are cloudy white)
Max: Keep them closed.
Customer: Someone call an ambulance!
Max: No, no. I got him. I got him.
Milton: It's your friend. The one that broke in here. What's going on, Evans?
Max: Migraines. He gets really bad migraines.
Isabel: Oh God. Oh, my God, Max.
Max: Help me get him out of here, quick.
Isabel: Michael.
Alex: Here, let me help.
Isabel: No. Just leave us alone.
(Liz and Maria are filling bottles with condiments)
Liz: Ok, so, um, once you're done with the sugars, we just make sure that the salt and pepper shakers are filled.
Maria: You are really letting this whole manager thing get to your head.
(Max comes in with a concerned look on his face)
Max: Liz.
Liz: Max, um, what are you doing here?
Max: We came through the back. We need your help.
Liz: Maria.
Maria: Michael. Is he ok?
Isabel: Does he look ok to you?
Maria: What's wrong with him?
Isabel: How should I know? Nothing like this has ever happened before.
Max: We need to keep him someplace safe. Liz, can we keep him here?
Liz: Yeah, uh, but let's just take him upstairs. It'll be safer there.
Max: I'll have to carry him.
Liz: Yeah, I'll go first.
(Isabel measures Michael's temperature with a thermometer)
Isabel: It only goes up to 112.
Maria: We're gonna need some ice and towels. We need to cool him down.
Liz: Um, they're in the kitchen and then there's some in the bathroom, too.
Max: Are you ok?
Liz: Has this ever happened before? I mean, to you?
Max: Never.
(Michael starts chanting)
Isabel: What's he saying?
Max: I don't...I don't know. It's some kind of chant. Michael, can you hear me? What are you saying? What are you trying to tell us? Michael, it's me, Max. Please let me help you.
(Michael opens his eyes and stares at Max with cloudy white eyes)
Michael: River Dog.
(Liz and Max arrive at the Mesaliko Indian reservation in search of River Dog)
Eddie: You're not welcome here anymore.
Max: We just want to find out what happened.
Eddie: You told someone what you found here! River Dog is really angry.
Liz: It is really important that we talk to him about what he did to Michael.
Eddie: He tested him. Your friend didn't pass.
Max: What do you mean?
Eddie: That's all I know.
Max: That's not enough. I want to know exactly what River Dog did to him.
Eddie: He wants nothing to do with you. You betrayed his trust, and that's something he won't forgive.
Max: I don't want forgiveness. I want answers before my friend dies.
Liz: Max...Max.
Liz: Michael's really sick, Eddie. And we don't know what to do. We need River Dog.
Eddie: I'm sorry, but he's gone.
Max: I'm waiting here until he comes back.
(Isabel is watching over Michael. Maria enters the room)
Maria: What are you doing?
Isabel: Well, he's so cold, I...
Maria: Are you kidding? He's burning up. Right before I had the chicken pox, I had a really high fever, and my mom had to put me in an ice bath.
Isabel: This isn't the chicken pox, and he was fine.
Alex: Knock, knock.
Isabel: I thought you said you locked the door.
Alex: The key's always under the mat. Hey, look, everything's going fine downstairs. I just wanted to come up...see if there's anything that I could do.
Isabel: Yes, there's something you could do. You can get out of here, both of you! And let me take care of Michael. God, he needs me right now, not strangers.
(Max and Liz are walking around the reservation talking about Michael)
Max: I remember the first time I saw Michael. It was in the desert the night we first came out of the pods. The sky was bright with stars and this full moon. Isabel and I found each other first. We didn't know how to speak, but we could communicate anyway. We walked for a while, but we could both feel someone else.
Liz: Michael.
Max: He said he saw us, but that he was afraid. So he just watched us for a long time. When he finally revealed himself, he was standing on this rock. Just like you'd expect from Michael. "Here I am. Deal with me." He said it was the hardest thing he's ever had to do...to trust us.
Liz: So, um, how did you guys end up getting separated?
Max: We all saw the headlights at the same time. Isabel took my hand. We knew we'd be safe as long as we stayed together. I held my hand out for Michael. I knew he wanted to. He just wouldn't take it. So we just looked at each other for a long time. Wouldn't see him again for 3 years. Isabel would cry every night, wondering where he was.
Max: You all right?
Liz: Uh, yeah, it...it's just kinda sad, you know? Thinking of being separated like that.
Max: You're wondering if it could happen to me, aren't you? If I could get sick like Michael.
Liz: No, mm-mmm.
Max: I've been thinking about it a lot, too....whether this is just our life cycle. And maybe this is how we die.
Liz: Max, it's...come on, it's not...
Max: I can understand if you have doubts...about us...I mean, second thoughts. Because committing to someone is hard enough without having to wonder...if they're even gonna be here tomorrow.
(Maria enters Michael's room with a plate of food and a bottle of Tabasco sauce for Isabel)
Maria: Hey. You should eat. Um, I didn't know how much you like, so...
Isabel: Thank you.
Maria: I care about him, too, you know.
Isabel: I know you do. But Max and Michael are all I have. And if I lose them...
Maria: You won't.
(Michael starts convulsing and slowly starts chanting softly)
Maria: What's happening?
Isabel: I don't know. I don't know! He's too strong. He'll hurt himself. Go get Alex. Michael!
(Liz is calling the others on her cell phone)
Liz: They're not answering.
Max: We should get back.
(Liz and Max hear a group of people chanting nearby)
Liz: That's what Michael's been saying over and over.
Max: It's coming from that tent.
(Liz and Max walk towards the tent)
(Back at the Crashdown, Maria and Isabel are trying to help Michael, who is still chanting)
Isabel: Let's give him more water. That helped him before.
(Michael wakes up and finds himself in another place...he is standing next to the alien symbols which are drawn on the ground around him. Michael looks up and sees a constellation)
(Liz and Max peek through the tent to see Indians chanting and passing a bowl around the tent)
Liz: What are they doing?
Max: I'm not sure. But maybe what's happening to Michael isn't natural at all.
(River Dog appears)
River Dog: Bring him here. We might not have much time.
(Max and Liz arrive back at the Crashdown. Isabel and Maria are sitting next to the bed that Michael is lying on. Michael is covered with webbing)
Maria: Thank God you're here.
Isabel: Oh, my God, Max.
Alex: This is really happening, isn't it?
(Everyone has arrived at River Dog's cave)
River Dog: Man who lived in this cave when I was a boy was not like us. Some of the elders believed he was an evil spirit, so they decided to test him. He was invited into the sweat, just like I invited your friend. His reaction was quick and severe. Within a minute, his eyes were white, and he developed a fever.
Max: Just like Michael.
River Dog: Only it took the symptoms longer to show up in your friend. That's why I dismissed him at first. But when you told me he was sick, I knew he was another visitor.
Maria: That's an interesting way to put it.
River Dog: Well, that's what he called himself. In my language, the word is "nasedo". So that's what I called him.
Isabel: And you knew Nasedo well?
River Dog: I saved his life. After the sweat, he ran out into the desert. And we were told not to follow him. But I was a boy, and I didn't listen. I found him in this cave, dying. He had to trust me with his secret so that I could heal him.
Max: And now you'll do the same thing to heal Michael?
River Dog: I'll try, but I'll need the help of all of you.
Alex: Even me?
River Dog: Healing requires energy. The more we have, the faster we heal. Now everyone take your place in the circle. There's a line for each of you leading to the center.
(There is a large circle drawn on the ground with 6 lines leading from the edge of the circle to the middle. Michael is lying in the middle with webbing covering him from head to feet. Max, Maria, Alex, Isabel, and Liz all walk towards a line)
River Dog: Nasedo gave me these stones. They're from his place. And they carry an energy inside them.
Max: You mean, these are from...
River Dog: Wherever you are from. He said that his body carried the same energy that's in these stones. He called it the balance. He said that the heat from the sweat disrupted it in some way.
Max: How?
River Dog: He told me to hold the stones until my energy activated them. And the balance would be restored.
Max: And if you didn't?
River Dog: He would die.
Isabel: So let's get going.
River Dog: He warned me, though, there was a risk. The balance can pull you in. It's a force that can change both your body and your mind unless you navigate it properly. Now, clear your mind...and drink from the bowl. Don't change the way you feel about your friend, and you'll come out on the right side.
Max: What is it?
River Dog: Water. Something in common with all of us. By drinking from the same bowl, we begin the connection.
(The bowl is passed around the circle. Max is first, and passes the bowl to Isabel, who passes the bowl to Alex, then to Maria. Liz is the last one to take the bowl and appears hesitant to join in the ritual)
River Dog: You're afraid...not of the healing. Your fear runs deeper. You fear for someone else, someone you care for a great deal. Take a step back. You cannot stop the flow.
Liz: I'm sorry.
(River Dog starts chanting, and the others start chanting also)
(Maria appears stunned that Liz isn't participating in the ritual and River Dog softly comforts her)
River Dog: She'll find her own path. You take yours.
(Everyone starts to chant softly. We see Michael wake up in another place and each of the participants in the ritual walk up to him and greets him. Maria kisses him. We see images of Max, Michael, and Isabel when they were in the desert. Max reaches out his hand to Michael who is hesitant to take it. In the end, Michael, Max, and Isabel walk away hand-in-hand. Back in the cave, Michael wakes up and pulls the webbing off of himself.)
Max: You all right?
Michael: I went someplace, Max, and I saw things.
Max: But you came back. For good this time.
Michael: Yeah, I came back.
(Max hugs Michael)
Michael: Thank you, Maxwell. No more running. No matter what. Give me your rocks.
(Michael takes the alien rocks from each of the people who participated in the ritual. He walks over to the drawings that the 4th alien drew on the wall and inserts rocks at various places. After inserting the 5th rock, Michael steps back and the rocks slowly glow brighter and brighter, revealing a constellation of where the aliens are from)
Michael: It's a map.
(Liz is on the roof of the Crashdown writing in her journal)
Voice-Over: I've always been the one who comes through in the time of crisis. I do what's necessary, and I don't panic. But seeing Michael so sick and having no way of knowing what was wrong or how to help made me scared. Scared that one day something could happen to Max and I wouldn't know how to help this person who means so much to me, who means everything.
(Max climbs up the ladder as Liz is writing in her journal)
Max: Is this a bad time?
Liz: No, it's not. Hi.
Max: Just wanted to see how you were doing.
Liz: I'm fine. Yeah, um...how's Michael?
Max: Same as ever.
Liz: That's really good.
Max: But I'm not, Liz.
Liz: What do you mean?
Max: I mean one day it will be me, and I can't keep pretending that I'm normal.
Liz: Max, look...you know, I didn't...I didn't mean to have doubts. I didn't...I didn't mean to let you down in the cave.
Max: I don't blame you. You had every right to feel that way, because what you felt is true. We don't belong together.
Liz: Don't say that.
Max: The other night, you know, when we went out...and the whole day before...ever since we kissed...I've been off balance. You made me forget that anything else existed, but that's not real.
Liz: It is the only real thing that I've ever felt.
Max: Sometimes you have to take a step back to see what's really going on. Maybe that's what we both really need to do right now...find our balance again.
Liz: You know, Max, I thought that...I thought that we'd found it.
Max: You don't know how much I wish that could be true.
Liz: Max...how is it possible that I could be...I could be the happiest that I've ever been in my entire life...you know, and now the saddest all at...all at one time?
Max: I think that's what being in love is.
Liz: Yeah, I think so, too.
Max: So we'll just take a step back...for a while.
Liz: Well, uh...you know, if that's what...if that's what you want, I...
Max: It's what I need...cuz I'm just as scared as you are.
(Max starts climbing down the ladder)
Liz: No, wait, Max.
(Liz kisses Max)
Liz: I just wanted...to remember.
Max: Good-bye, Liz.
(Max climbs down the ladder)
Liz: Good-bye, Max.
(Scene fades out as Liz gazes upward and sees the constellation that Michael saw in his vision) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x09 - The Balance"} | foreverdreaming |
"Toy House"
Episode: 11
11th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA10
Written by: Michael Fields
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 24, 1999
(Episode opens with a blurry image of a bird flying away. Scene switches to the Evans household where Mrs. Evans, AKA Diane, is cooking dinner)
Max: Why don't you put a little more garlic in that, mom?
Diane: You know how I get when your father's away on business, honey. Fried foods, red meat...
Max: You're a real party animal.
Diane: Oh, shut up. Oh...so, what's that, biology?
Max: Yeah. Everything you always wanted to know about a d*ad frog.
Diane: Oh...not my strongest subject.
Max: Mine, either. But I have a good lab partner. She's really good in science, so...
Diane: She?
Max: Mom...
Diane: Well, I'm just curious. Does, uh, she have a name?
(Mrs. Evans knocks over the bottle of oil and oil is oozing over the counter top towards the skillet)
Max: Liz.
Diane: Oh, right. Liz Parker. Isn't she the one that came by the other day?
Max: Yeah.
Diane: So...what are you, just...friends or...
Max: Yeah. Just...
(The oil reaches the skillet and bursts into a giant fireball)
Diane: Aah!
Max: Mom! Watch out!
(Mrs. Evans falls to the floor and has her head turned away as Max rushes over and puts out the grease f*re with his power)
Max: You all right? You all right?
Diane: Max...oh...I, uh...I...think so.
(Opening credits)
(Back in the Evans' kitchen, firemen are surveying the damage from the f*re)
Fireman: You're lucky you didn't get hurt. You sure you're all right, ma'am?
Diane: Oh, I'm fine, really. Thank you.
Fireman: At least we know the security system's working.
Diane: Yeah.
Max: Yeah, thanks.
Max: Sorry you guys had to come out here for no reason.
Fireman: Oh, no problem.
Diane: You saved my life, Max.
Max: Mom, I...I just...
Diane: ...poured water on it...you told me.
Max: Right.
Max: You look tired, mom. Why don't you just go upstairs and get some rest?
(Someone is knocking on the front door)
Diane: Oh, um...I got it. Really, I'm...I'm fine. Who's there? Oh, Sheriff.
Sheriff: Mrs. Evans?
Diane: Won't you come in?
Sheriff: Thank you. Heard you had an incident here. Just want to make sure everything's ok.
Diane: Oh, we're fine, really. Just a ittle grease f*re, but thank God my son put it out.
Sheriff: Well, no injuries?
Max: We're fine.
Sheriff: Hmm.
Max: Actually, the, uh...the f*re department just came here, so...
Sheriff: Yeah, I know. Well, it never hurts to double-check.
Max: It, uh, it looks a lot worse than it really was.
Sheriff: Yeah. From the damages, I'd say you had quite a f*re here. That must've been pretty scary.
Max: Well...yeah.
Diane: For a moment there, sheriff, I wasn't sure what was gonna happen. The flames were coming right at me, and they were...they were high.
Sheriff: How high?
Diane: I don't know. Maybe...5 feet, maybe higher.
Sheriff: But Max saved the day.
Diane: Oh, Sheriff...he didn't hesitate. He just came right in, pulled me out of the way, poured this pot of water on it, and suddenly everything was ok. It was miraculous, really.
Sheriff: Miraculous. The flames were 5 feet high, or maybe higher. And your mom, God forbid, could've caught on f*re, and you put the whole thing out with this one pot of water, huh?
Max: Yep.
Sheriff: Boy, I gotta hand it to you, Mr. Evans, I'm impressed. You ought to join our f*re brigade.
Max: Really, it was--it was nothing.
Sheriff: No. There's nothing to be humble about. You're a real hero.
(Later in Max's room, Max is briefing Isabel on what happened in the kitchen)
Isabel: So what are you saying, that mom could've--I mean, that something could've really happened to her?
Max: It was a pretty close call.
Isabel: What exactly did she see you do?
Max: It happened pretty fast. I don't think she saw it.
Isabel: Ok.
Max: Did she tell you? About, uh...Valenti?
Isabel: Valenti?
Max: The f*re tripped off the security system, and he stopped by to check things out.
Isabel: What did he say? Was he suspicious?
Max: I'm not sure. He just kept on looking at mom like his next...project or something.
Isabel: You're really upset. This is bad.
Max: I'm all right.
Isabel: Max, I know you. You only ever listen to the Counting Crows when you're really upset.
Max: It's not just this. It's...everything.
Isabel: You were right to put the brakes on the Liz thing.
Max: Thank you. You mentioned that...like 10 times.
Isabel: It's just that you guys were getting so intense. It's one thing to have a little fun, but...you know, we just can't get attached like that, Max.
Max: I know that. Maybe I just forgot for awhile. I know that now.
Isabel: And you can live with that? I mean...you're ok with it?
(At the Crashdown, Liz and Maria are talking about Liz and Max's breakup)
Liz: I'm definitely ok with it. In fact...I'm great with it. You know? 'Cause we always knew that it couldn't be, that it was this total impossibility, so I'm glad that we were both able to finally just, you know, get it out there.
(Liz has been drying a glass incredibly thoroughly)
Maria: Liz, the glass is clean.
Liz: Right. Look. I mean...sure, you get caught up in the excitement of it all, but...I'm over it.
Maria: Are you sure? 'Cause it seems like you kind of got over it pretty quickly.
Liz: Well, there's just no reason to let it fester, you know? You gotta just move on and--and not look back.
(Liz is scooping coffee into the tray for the coffee maker)
Maria: Good. So you're not hurt.
Liz: Hurt?
Maria: Well, by the way it happened. I mean, it kind of seems like it was more his decision than yours.
(Liz scoops more and more coffee into the tray)
Liz: No, not at all. Ok? I mean...yes, technically, he is the one who ended it, but...no. It was mutual, you know? It was, like...it was, like, 90% mutual.
Maria: Liz, that's enough coffee.
Liz: Yeah, ok.
(Michael and Max are walking through the halls at school)
Michael: You used your powers in front of your mother? That is not fine.
Max: Michael, I'm handling it, all right?
Michael: Well, I hope so, because dealing with frick and frack over there is one thing, but we can't bring adults into this and expect them to handle it. Adults are the enemy, Max. Remember that.
Max: Michael, you say everyone is the enemy.
Michael: They are.
Liz: Hey.
Max: Hey.
Michael (to Maria): Hey.
Maria: Yeah, whatever.
(Maria and Michael walk off in opposite directions)
Max: So how's it goin'?
Liz: It's great. It's, um...it's really great.
Max: Good.
Liz: So, um...you know, about the game today and the fact that we all have seats together? You know, the way that I see it, it's just a basketball game. We'll go, and we'll watch, and then we'll leave. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
Max: I agree. It's no big deal.
Liz: It doesn't...have to be this whole awkward thing.
(A group of jocks come through the hall led by Kyle and he notices Liz as he walks past her)
Kyle: Hey.
(At Evans home, Mrs. Evans is watching a video of Max and Isabel feeding birds)
Young Max: Come on birdies. Come on, birdies. Come on.
Young Isabel: Come on.
Young Max: Come on, birdies.
Young Isabel: Max! Mom, look!
Isabel: Mom, just promise me you're not gonna get all nostalgic.
Diane: I won't. So...your brother...he's always been so private, don't you think?
Isabel: Private?
Diane: Yeah. I mean, he's always just got his guard up a little bit.
Isabel: He's Max. It's who he is. He's always been that way.
Diane: Right. And that's what sort of worries me. I mean, why do you think he's always been so secretive?
Isabel: Mom, I don't know.
Diane: Isabel. Have you ever noticed anything about your brother? Anything...unusual?
Isabel: Like what?
Diane: Well...I don't know. Anything that...maybe you were unable to explain.
Isabel: Mom, what's this about?
Diane: Oh. Forget it. Never mind. I guess I'm...I'm just a bit shaken still from the f*re.
Isabel: Mom...
Diane: No, forget it. I'm fine. Get to the game, honey. You're late.
Isabel: Yeah, ok.
Diane: Isabel?
(Isabel looks up at her as if to ask "what?")
Diane: Your sweater.
Isabel: Oh.
(At the basketball game)
Liz: Go, comets! Whoo!
Maria: Boys, boys.
(Comets make a basket)
Maria (standing up): Whooohhh!
Maria: I'm sorry. I retract...that last "whooh."
Michael: Humans.
Max: What?
Michael: How excited they get over someone throwing a ball through a hoop. It's ridiculous.
(Isabel arrives at the game with her 2 clique friends)
Isabel: Is there room for us?
Alex: Um...yeah. Excuse me. I'm sorry. Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me, can you just scoot, like, uh...yeah just all... So, welcome to the bleachers. Glad you decided to be a bleacher bum.
Michael: How you doin'?
Maria: Fine. Hey, Elliot, can I switch seats with you?
Isabel: I need to talk to you for a second.
(Isabel and Max walk to a quieter section of the floor)
Isabel: Mom knows something.
Max: What?
Isabel: She was asking all these questions about you. She said you had secrets.
Max: She said that?
Isabel: Yeah. She was watching this video of us from when we were kids.
Max: But she always watches videos when dad goes away. She gets sentimental.
Isabel: No. It was like she was looking for something. We have to deal with this, Max.
Max: Deal with it how?
Isabel: Look, I know that we agreed never to tell her, but--
Michael: But what? If your mom finds out about us, our lives are a ticking b*mb. It'd only be a matter of time before she told the wrong person.
Max: Michael, relax. No one's telling anyone anything.
Liz: Come on! Kyle!
(Kyle falls to the floor trying to get a loose ball and sprains his ankle)
Kyle: God! Ohh! Ohh!
(Max notices Liz's obvious concern for Kyle)
(At Crashdown, Liz is packing up a pie to go and Max greets her)
Max: New home delivery service?
Liz: Oh. No, actually, I was just bringing a pie over to Kyle's.
Max: Oh.
Liz: Yeah. I heard that he, uh, broke his ankle, so...
Max: That's too bad.
Liz: Yeah. I kind of, uh, feel a little bit responsible because I distracted him at the game and...anyway...it's not a big deal. It's just...
Max: A pie.
Liz: Right. Uh...I'll see you.
(Sheriff stops by at Evans home to check up on Mrs. Evans)
Diane: It's nice of you to come by, Sheriff. I'm much better today.
Sheriff: Good. Thank God Max was here, huh?
Diane: I know.
Sheriff: Max is a nice kid, and...special.
Diane: He is.
Sheriff: I hope he's doing ok. Seems to have been around a couple of near misses lately.
Diane: A couple?
Sheriff: Yeah, well, you remember that whole sh**ting incident at the Crashdown Cafe back in September?
Diane: Yeah. I remember. What does Max have to do with that?
Sheriff: He never mentioned that?
Diane: No.
Sheriff: Huh.
Diane: Sheriff, was Max involved in that somehow?
Sheriff: It's just water under the bridge, I guess.
Diane: You seem to have some sort of interest in my son. I'd like to know why that is. I mean, if Max was involved in some sort of crime, Sheriff, I think--
Sheriff: Mrs. Evans, I didn't come here to alarm you, ok? I just wanted to make sure that you're feeling better, and I, uh...I also want to drop off this pamphlet on household emergencies. I highlighted the section on grease fires for you. It's helpful information, that's all. I'll let myself out. You have a good day.
(In the woodshop work area, Maria is having problems with her project)
Maria: Damn!
(Michael has been observing Maria from across the room)
Michael: You're doing it wrong. You're gripping the wood too tight.
Maria: Look, I know how to grip, ok?
Michael: Apparently you don't.
Maria: Look, I have to finish this, all right? It's my final project, and it's a disaster, so...
Michael: It doesn't look that bad.
Maria: Oh, yeah. I'm a regular Bob Vila.
Michael: No, I'm serious. I mean, it's actually pretty good. Once you put it together, the shoes can go right...
Maria: Shoes? What do shoes have to do with this?
Michael: You're making a shoe tree, right?
Maria: No. I'm making a napkin holder.
Michael: Oh. Well...sure will be nice once you put it together.
Maria: Look...do you have something you want?
Michael: I just saw you in here and I wanted to say hi, but...apparently it was the wrong move. I'll never do it again. Sorry. Good-bye.
Maria: Fine. Run away. Perfect.
Michael: What the hell's going on with you? All right, I mean...what did I do?
Maria: Nothing. That's the problem.
Michael: What?
Maria: Michael...we saved your ass. Ok? You were all flunked out, sweating, you know, running 112-degree temperature and, like, dying. I could have walked away and never looked back. But I didn't. I did not walk away. There I was, dragging your sweaty, gross body through the Indian reservation, you know, getting my clothes all muddy and...and worrying. 'Cause, you know, I...I really...I thought...you weren't gonna make it. Look...I went out on a limb for you...and you hug Max and Isabel, and it's all about the three of you. I mean...I mean, were you...were you even gonna thank me?
Michael: Thank you.
Maria: It's too late, pal.
(Liz knocks on the front door to the Valenti household where Kyle is watching TV)
Kyle: It's open.
Liz: Hey.
Kyle: Oh, it's you.
Liz: Um, look, I know how much you like the pie at the Crashdown, so I, um...I, uh...ok, I'll just put it down right here. Sorry. Look, and I brought...I brought you the study notes for Ethics. I thought you might need them for the midterm. Um...Kyle, uh...I'm really sorry about your ankle, you know...I know how much...basketball means...
Kyle: I'm not really in the mood to talk about it. Ok?
Liz: Ok. Sure. See ya.
(Liz looks back as she's leaving to see if Kyle would turn around, but Kyle doesn't...til after she leaves)
(It's late at night in the Evans household and Max is painting over the burn marks on the ceiling)
Diane: Max, you don't have to do that.
Max: It's no problem. What are you doing up so late?
Diane: Mm, couldn't sleep. Boy...this could have been a real disaster. Thank God you were here.
Max: Mom, really. You're gonna give me a complex if you don't stop talking about it.
Diane: Tell me again, Max. Tell me how you did it.
Max: How I did it?
Diane: Yeah. You saw the flames, and then you did what?
Max: Well, I...I ran to the stove, I grabbed the pot of water that was sitting there and threw it at the f*re. That's all I did.
Diane: It was a grease f*re, Max. The Sheriff stopped by today and gave me this pamphlet. And the thing is, it says right here, water doesn't put out a grease f*re. Water makes a grease f*re spread. Max, what did you DO?
Isabel: I'm home. I thought I heard voices. What's everyone still doing up?
(Max and Isabel go off somewhere to talk)
Isabel: Oh, Max! The more time we spend doing nothing about this, the more time it gives Valenti to make her curious about us.
Max: Isabel, we are dealing with two people who don't know anything.
Isabel: We're dealing with two people who know something isn't right. We can't just do a Max on this thing. We can't just sit back and passively watch.
Max: I'm not passively watching.
Isabel: Max, snap out of it, ok? We're in trouble here. We have to do something.
Max: Do what?
Isabel: Tell her the truth. Look, I understand how you and Michael feel. But I've wanted to tell mom. I've wanted to tell her every day for the last 10 years.
Max: Isabel, I know how you feel.
Isabel: I don't think you do. I'm her daughter. A mother and a daughter...it's just different. Don't you see? We're not just hiding it from her now. We're...now we're lying to her. I don't know how much longer I can do that.
Max: What if mom found out it's all been a sham? If we took her family away from her, it would destroy her.
Isabel: Maybe it would make us all closer.
Max: I don't think so.
Isabel: What are you saying, that if we tell mom the truth about us, she won't love us anymore?
Max: I'm saying we'll never know the answer to that question.
Isabel: Max. This isn't just your decision.
Max: I know that.
Isabel: Do you?
(In the morning, Isabel is testing out different shades of lipstick in the mirror)
Diane: Knock, knock.
Isabel: Oh, God. Mom, you startled me.
Diane: Sorry, sweetie. I certainly didn't mean to. Isabel...can you tell me what you remember? I mean, we've never really talked about this much...about you and your brother before daddy and I came into the picture.
Isabel: Well...I don't remember much, mom.
Diane: Well, I know, honey. You've told me that. And I've always accepted it. But, honey, you were 6 years old. There must be something about your life before us that you remember.
Isabel: Well...I remember the orphanage. Um...I most clearly remember seeing you and daddy the day that you came to adopt us, and you were wearing this yellow sweater. And I remember thinking that it looked like the sun. That you were like the sun. Mom, I don't know if you can understand this, but...the day that you and daddy came for us...that's when our lives began.
(Maria is fiddling around with her woodshop project at a picnic bench and Michael comes up to her)
Michael: Interesting.
Maria: What?
Michael: This whole idea that I have to apologize to you. What's that really about?
Maria: What is it about?
Michael: I'll tell you what it's about. It's a tactic.
Maria: Oh, it's a tactic.
Michael: That's right. It's your way of making me think that I owe you something, that I'm indebted to you. Let me tell you something. I'm not indebted to anyone.
Maria: Interesting. You know, you should get yourself massive doses of therapy, like immediately.
(Michael grabs Maria's woodshop project)
Maria: What are you doing?
Michael: I'm gonna fix this stupid thing and call it even, all right? So what color do you want, huh? Green? White? Blue, maybe?
Maria: Give it.
Michael: No way.
Maria: Give it to me. Give it to me.
(Maria and Michael try to gain possession of the "napkin holder" and wind up pulling it apart)
Maria: No...great.
Michael: What is your problem?
Maria: It's cheating. You can't just wave your hand over a problem and make it go away. Why don't you figure out what's really going on with you, Michael...why you can't just piece together an apology like any normal human being. Oops. Maybe that's the problem.
(At the Crashdown, Liz is serving a table as Kyle walks in)
Liz: Hi. There you go.
Kyle: Hi. I figured it out.
Liz: You figured what out?
Kyle: It's guilt, isn't it?
Liz: What are you talking about?
Kyle: The pie, the study notes. It's guilt. You feel responsible for my ankle.
Liz: No, Kyle, I don't feel...I don't feel responsible for your ankle.
Kyle: I just found out that I'm gonna miss the rest of the season.
Liz: Kyle...I'm sorry, Kyle. I, I...
Kyle: Ooh.
Liz: I admit it, ok? You know, I feel a little bit responsible. I was sitting there, and I was...I was watching you at that basketball game, and you were getting completely trampled. Look, Kyle, I know what it feels like to have somebody, like, break up with you, and I just...I just wanted to say that I'm...I'm really sorry, you know, about how all of it ended and everything, and I am...incredibly sorry about you missing the rest of the season.
Kyle: I'm only gonna be out 2 weeks. I just said that to prove a point. Anyway, about...what happened with us...I just wanted to say, you...you were pretty straight with me. And you...you told me it was over, and...and...and I, I didn't listen. I didn't let it go.
Liz: Is, um, excuse me? Are you apologizing to me?
Kyle: I guess.
Liz: Wow. I...you know, I wasn't aware that this was part of your repertoire.
Kyle: I didn't either.
Liz: So, then, what changed?
Kyle: I don't know. I, I was, like...I was just laying there for like 2 days, and it gave me some time to think. And then there was this whole thing on Sally Jessie. You know, "ex-es on a rampage," and it just...it gave me some perspective, so...but anyway, I just...I think it would be great if...you know, if we could, you know, maybe we could be friends.
Liz: Well, it...um...sure. We could...you know, we could work towards that.
Kyle: So...anyway, about, uh, about lunch...
Liz: Oh, yeah.
Kyle: I was hoping for something high in both fat and cholesterol and lacking in any inherent nutritional value.
Liz: I think that you are just in luck. Let me show you. Right here on the menu us our fatty section. This right here, there's, like, 4 pounds of sugar...
(Max arrives at the Crashdown and sees that Liz and Kyle are becoming friendly with each other again)
(Mrs. Evans shows up at the police station at the Sheriff's invitation)
Sheriff: Thanks for coming in, Mrs. Evans.
Diane: Of course, Sheriff. It sounded important.
Sheriff: It's just there's something i thought you should see. It's the police report from the incident at the Crashdown Cafe.
Diane: Max was there?
Sheriff: A few people identified him.
Diane: It says he fled the scene. Why would he do something--
Sheriff: You see, that's the thing, Mrs. Evans. There doesn't seem to be any reason for him to have fled. If you turn the page, there's some testimony...from a Larry Trilling and Jennifer Kattler. Now, granted, they're a couple of tourists with a serious credibility issue, but they both said they saw a waitress get sh*t in the stomach.
Diane: Liz Parker?
Sheriff: Yeah. And they also claimed that they saw someone go up to her...kneel down over her...put his hand over her, and heal her.
Diane: Who? Oh, Sheriff, what are you trying to tell me about my son...that he has some kind of healing powers?
Sheriff: I just thought you should see this report.
(Max is listening to Counting Crows again. He turns down the volume and hears the videotape of when he and Isabel were playing with the birds when they were young)
Max: Can't sleep again?
Diane: Max. I want to show you something. Here it comes.
Young Diane: Max!
Young Max: Mom, look.
Young Isabel: The bird is hurt. Something's wrong with its wing.
Young Diane: Ok, guys. No, no, Maxie, get away from the bird. He could be sick. Look at his wing. Ok, just leave it alone. I think its wing is broken. Max, honey, just put it down. Please.
(Young Max holds the bird in his hands, heals the wing, and lets the bird fly away)
Young Diane: Philip. Philip! Did you see that? Did you see that?
Diane: Can you...can you help me, Max? Can you tell me what just happened? The bird had a broken wing...and when you touched it...it flew away, honey. It came to life.
Max: Mom, that was 10 years ago.
Diane: And I've thought about it. I mean, it's just one of those things that happened. I mean, I never really understood it, but there was nothing I could do about it at the time. So I tried to forget about it. But some things you never forget about. And when that kitchen f*re happened...I thought about it all over again.
Max: Mom, why are you doing this to me?
Diane: I'm not doing anything to you.
Max: Yes, you are.
Diane: I just want to know.
Max: Why? You're supposed to be my mother.
Diane: I am your mother.
Max: You're not supposed to investigate us.
Diane: I'm not investigating you.
Max: Yes, you are!
Diane: I just want to...I just want to talk to you about this. Why can't we...
Max: Mom, I can't, all right? I can't talk about this with you.
Diane: Max, please, just tell me.
Max: Mom, no!
Diane: Max, where are you going?
Max: Out!
(Max slams the door on the way out)
(Max, Michael, and Isabel meet at one of their special places, a quarry area, to discuss what to do)
Michael: You healed a pigeon. Great. Now you're Dr. Dolittle.
Max: Michael, I was 6. I didn't even know I had powers yet. It just happened.
Michael: So what's the plan?
Max: That's what we're here for...to discuss it.
Michael: Well, the first thing is obvious. We get that videotape and we destroy it. All right, after that, it's her word against ours.
Isabel: Her word against ours? Michael, she's our mother.
Michael: She's not your mother. She's not related to you in any way. Know that.
Isabel: But if there's any adult that we can trust, it's her.
Michael: What, are you suggesting we tell her?
Max: No, she isn't.
Isabel: Max, would you let me speak for myself, please?
Max: Look, Isabel...
Isabel: No, look. Maybe it'll help us out one day to have an adult on our side.
Michael: Here's the problem...when you tell her, she's not gonna be on your side. Maybe she loves you now, but there's no such thing as unconditional love.
Isabel: Michael, maybe you really don't understand, but she does love us. It is unconditional.
Michael: Are you sure about that?
Max: Isabel, we are not telling her, all right? Stop it.
Isabel: Stop speaking to me like that.
Max: Like what?
Isabel: Like you're the final word on everything.
Max: I didn't say I was!
Isabel: Listen to yourself!
Max: Michael's right. She's not our mother. We are alone here. We always will be. Stop pretending it's different.
Isabel: Max, don't you see what's happening? We're losing her. We're losing our mother. I can't lose her. I need her.
Max: We're not telling her, Isabel. That is final.
(Isabel walks off and Max throws a rock into the water in frustration)
(Maria opens her locker to find a beautifully made napkin holder. There is a note attached to it that reads "Handmade by Michael - Thanks")
(Michael has been waiting in the hallway for Maria to come out of class)
Michael: Hey.
Maria: Hey.
Michael: So you get your final assignment evaluated?
Maria: Yeah.
Michael: How'd you do?
Maria: I flunked, as predicted.
Michael: What?
Maria: Yeah. I guess I can, uh, safely rule out any career paths involving wood.
Michael: Didn't you get my thing?
Maria: Yeah, I got it.
Michael: Well, that's ridiculous. I worked my ass off on that thing. It was beautifully crafted. It was spring activated to secure the napkins. It redefined the term napkin holder.
Maria: Yeah, I know, it did.
Michael: Well, how could he have flunked you? I mean...Wh--
Maria: Because I, um, I...I didn't use yours. I kept it. Thank you.
(Maria starts to walk away)
Michael: I have something to say to you. If anything like that happens to me again, like when I got sick, don't help me. I can't get indebted to anyone, and I can't get entangled. I got to be a stone wall. And when I'm around you sometimes, I don't feel like a stone wall anymore.
Maria: Well, what do you feel like?
Michael: I don't know. Like confused.
Maria: Like human?
Michael: Yeah, and I don't want to feel that way.
(Max watches Liz through the window of the Crashdown Cafe and then taps on it softly)
Liz: What's up?
Max: Nothing. How's it going?
Liz: Fine. Are you all right?
Max: Yeah. Yeah.
Max: I just...I want you to know that it's ok. I mean...you don't have to feel uncomfortable if you and Kyle get back together.
Liz: What?
Max: I saw you two together at the Crashdown yesterday.
Liz: Ok, um...Max, first of all, that couldn't be further from what's happening, and secondly...if it was happening, I wouldn't need your permission, Max.
Max: I'm getting out of here. Now you sound like Isabel.
Liz: Why do I sound like Isabel, Max?
Max: She's got this thing all of a sudden that I'm controlling.
Liz: Oh, so it's HER thing.
Max: What?
Liz: Max, just take a psych class, because you ARE controlling.
Max: Hey, I am who I am. I've got a lot going on, and I'm trying to make things work.
Liz: Max, you know what your problem is? You put everything on yourself...on your own shoulders. Maybe you should have some faith in the people around you.
(Sometime the next day we see Mrs. Evans is sitting at a bench in a park and Max walks up to her)
Max: I thought you might be here.
Diane: Max. Honey, sit down. I'm glad you're here. I've been wanting to talk to you about...something we've never discussed before. Have you ever thought about trying to find your...your real parents? I mean, because...I've been thinking, I mean, maybe there's a reason why you can't talk to me. Maybe you need real parents for that. Maybe your father and I just...aren't enough for you.
Max: Mom, I don't think we'll ever find our real parents. And...maybe it would, you know...give us some answers, but...please don't ever think that you're not enough. I mean...without you, I...I don't know where I would even be.
Diane: Max...nothing you are could ever turn me away from you. I mean...I love you. And you're my son. Do you understand that?
Max: Yeah.
Diane: Then why...why can't you just tell me your secret?
(Max unfolds his jacket and gives his mom the item that was in it)
Max: This is for you. Sorry...for the wrapping.
Diane: Oh...your house.
Max: I remember my first few nights in our house so well. I hated it so much. For Isabel it was different. She saw you and dad, and from the very first moment, she knew she was home. But I would lie in my bed all night and cry.
Diane: Because you wanted to go home.
Max: Yeah. And you gave me this. And you said that it was a magic house...that if I held onto it, it would take me home. But the thing is, it would never bring me home, because I don't know where home is. I don't remember. That's the truth. And if you can't accept that, then I understand. I could leave.
Diane: Leave? Max, please...
Max: Mom, please don't ask me about this anymore. It's nothing bad. It's nothing dangerous. I beg you to trust me. I mean...you're my mother. Please, mom.
(Max drives back to the secluded canyon area where Isabel is waiting)
Max: So I guess we had an argument.
Isabel: Yeah.
Max: It was interesting. I'm sorry, Iz.
Isabel: Did you talk to mom?
Max: Yeah. It's gonna be ok.
Isabel: You told her?
Max: No.
(Isabel starts to tear up in the eyes and cries softly)
Isabel: I'm sorry. I just...I just wanted her to know. I wanted it so bad.
Max: I know. I know you did. We have each other. We're gonna be ok, Iz. We're gonna be ok.
(Scene fades out with Max and Isabel hugging each other) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x10 - Toy House"} | foreverdreaming |
"Into the Woods"
Episode: 12
12th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA11
Written by: Thania St. John
Original Air Date: Wednesday January 26, 2000
(Episode starts with a scene of two people making out in the back of a truck in the woods. There is a lot of lightning flashing in the sky, along with a bright white light)
(Scene switches to the Crashdown, where the lights die off for a brief instant due to the lightning storm outside. Liz has a cold and is taking some echinacea to combat it)
Voice-Over: I hate the start of a cold. That little tickle that tells you something's about to happen that you know you can't prevent, something that could be mild if you do all the right things, or could knock you off your feet if you're not careful.
Liz: You're late.
Maria: Liz, today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
Liz: Spending time with your mother again?
Maria: No, I mean it. Aren't you tired of being a sl*ve to men?
Liz: Definitely your mom.
Maria: Tired of spending every waking moment pining over them, just for us to get our hearts crushed in the end. It is time to branch out, to explore other possibilities. You and me babe, together.
(Maria opens up her uniform to reveal a navel ring)
Liz: Maria, what are you...
Maria: Ta-da!
Liz: Oh, my God!
Maria: We are turning over a new leaf. We are enjoying our wild and crazy years to the fullest. You know, having fun for a change.
Liz: Yeah, but skewering my navel is not exactly my idea of fun.
Maria: Yeah, relax, honey. You think I'd let anyone get near me with a needle?
(Liz sneezes)
Maria: You still pumping that echinacea I gave you?
Liz: Yes, like 4 times a day.
Jeff: Hey, could one of you give me a hand over here?
Liz: Sure.
(Liz walks up to her father wearing Maria's fake ring on her nose)
Jeff: Oh, my god!
Liz: Don't worry, dad, it's fake.
Jeff: Anything else I should know, a tattoo, maybe, uh...
Liz: No. Nothing.
Jeff: You've been so busy with school and new friends, I mean, we don't even get a chance to talk.
Liz: I know, dad.
Jeff: We could make up for it this weekend.
Liz: This weekend?
Jeff: Isn't that the fathers' camping weekend? I saw it listed on your school calendar.
Liz: Yeah right, it is this weekend. You're right.
Jeff: You still want to go, don't you?
Liz: Yeah...yeah, dad, I would--I do want to go. It's just that, you know, not that many people I know are actually gonna be going. Because they've sort of, like, outgrown it.
Jeff: Oh. Is that how you feel?
(Milton enters the Crashdown looking very excited)
Milton: Where's Max Evans?
Maria: I thought he worked for you, dude.
Milton: You...you're Max's girlfriend, right?
Jeff: She is?
Liz: No, no, not really.
Milton: I have to find him.
Liz: Why? What's going on?
Milton: Just everything we've been waiting our entire lives for. There's been a sighting.
(Opening credits)
(At the UFO Museum, Milton is briefing Max on the sighting)
Milton: It was here, out in Frazier Woods. A close encounter. How many of us can say we've had that?
Max: How'd you find out?
Milton: Police scanner. You can never trust the law to share information.
Max: Well, who reported it?
Milton: Some hiker named Buzz.
Max: So it could all just be a hoax.
Milton: Oh, no, it's real all right. There's corroboration. Uh, 2 motorists, a family that was camping, and a fly fisherman by the name of Rocky Calhoun. I've seen a lot of hoaxes, Evans. I can smell them a mile away. This is no hoax.
Max: Frazier woods is a big place.
Milton: Not when you know where the cops are looking.
Max: Near the Indian reservation, huh? What exactly did these witnesses see?
(The Sheriff is interrogating Rocky Calhoun, one of the people who reported the sighting)
Rocky: A flash of light.
Sheriff: Can you describe it in any more detail?
Rocky: Nope.
Sheriff: Well, how big was it? Did it have a color? How long did it last?
Rocky: Listen, I ain't one of those nuts that sees spacemen coming out from behind every tree.
Sheriff: Of course not.
Rocky: You know what they do with those people? They lock them up tight in the looney bin.
Sheriff: You don't have to worry about that, Rocky. You mind if I call you Rocky?
Rocky: Everyone does. Look, Sheriff, there's been dry lightning all over these woods for days.
Sheriff: Did this look like dry lightning to you, Rocky? All right. Let me turn this off. Ok...now it's just between you and me, ok, Rocky? You just tell me what you saw, from the beginning to the end, and I swear on my badge, no one will ever have to know.
Rocky: It was a white-hot light, kind of like an x-ray.
(Maria is walking through the hallways at school and several guys are noticing her)
Guy: Hey Maria!
Guy: Whoa!
Guy: Whoa, check it out, man!
Guy: Hey hey, Maria!
Maria: It's an aqua bra. You know, all the fun of implants except without the invasive surgery part.
Liz: You have officially lost it.
Maria: No, I have found it, babe, ok? I've had 3 phone numbers. It's only second period.
Liz: What?
Maria: Yes.
Neil: Hey, Maria.
Maria: Hey, Neil.
Maria: Do you see what I'm saying? Ok, do you want to try this thing on?
Liz: I don't know, I...who's Max meeting in the eraser room?
Maria: Ixnay on the ining-pay, remember?
Liz: No, I am not pining. I'm just...I am just curious, that's all. I hate not knowing what's going on with Max.
Maria: His decision, if I recall.
(Liz and Maria see Michael enter the eraser room)
Maria: No wonder he couldn't make a commitment.
Alex: Ok, I give up. What are we staring at?
Liz: This is an aqua bra. Would you like to try it on, Alex?
Alex: Yeah, maybe later. Here, have a flier. If I pass out enough of them, then I could raise my P.E. grade from a "C" to a "B-".
Liz: Oh. Ooh, father camping weekend? I don't suppose either of you would be...
Alex: Did I mention that I'm not very athletic, except for dodgeball?
Maria: No dad!
Liz: I hope mine has finally outgrown it.
(Alex sees Isabel by herself at her locker)
Alex: Oh, gee, look at the time. I gotta go. I'll see you guys.
Liz: Oh.
Maria: Like a puppy in heat.
Liz: I know.
Maria: He is my next project.
Alex: Hey, are you, uh, walking this way?
Isabel: Actually, I'm walking this way.
Alex: This way works for me. How's it going?
Isabel: It's going fine, Alex.
Alex: Great, great. So, movies.
Isabel: Movies?
Alex: Yeah, I was wondering if, uh, do aliens enjoy cinema?
Isabel: Alex...
Alex: Yeah, right, sorry. The "a" word. Anyways, there's this, uh, Fellini retrospective at the art house theater this Friday night, and I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to, uh, go?
Isabel: No, I'm not really into that.
Alex: Ok.
Isabel: You want to just see a regular movie instead?
Alex: Yeah. That'd be great.
Isabel: Ok. See you later, Alex.
Alex: Yeah, whatever you say.
(Isabel goes into the eraser room)
Isabel: Can't believe I'm in the eraser room with you two.
Max: We need a safe place to talk. So I found out a lot about the sighting from Milton.
Michael: Told you that place would get to you.
Max: 5 people saw a big flash in Frazier Woods.
Isabel: 5 basket cases.
Max: Then why has Valenti already closed off a 4-square-mile area of the forest near the Indian reservation?
Michael: You mean near the cave?
Isabel: Max, you don't think this sighting...
Max: It was no coincidence. We need to get there before Valenti does in case there's something to find.
Isabel: Yeah, but we don't know how many guys he has patrolling. If anybody saw us, then it would just make him more curious.
Max: What do you do in Frazier Woods?
Isabel: You hike, you fish, you camp out.
Max: I can't believe I'm actually gonna suggest this, but we could go on that camping trip this weekend.
Michael: You're kidding me, right?
Isabel: If anybody found us, we would just be kids missing from our school group.
Max: There's only one problem. It's a...it's a fathers' weekend. Get to know your dad kind of thing.
Michael: Guess that lets me out, huh?
(Mr. Parker is looking for Liz and enters her room)
Jeff: Hey, sweetie? You in here? Hey, now!
(Liz comes out from the bathroom semi-dressed)
Liz: Oh, dad!
Jeff: Oh, gosh. Oh, I should have knocked.
Liz: No, it's all right, it's ok.
Jeff: I gotta get better at this privacy thing.
Liz: It's no big deal, dad. Did, um, did you want something?
Jeff: Uh, listen, sweetie, about this camping weekend. We should just go and take advantage of the time together. I wouldn't miss that for anything.
Liz: I was actually gonna say the same thing.
Jeff: And I can get to know that guy Max you've been hanging out with and, uh, he has a sister, too, right?
Liz: Isabel.
Jeff: And the guy with the hair?
Liz: Michael.
Jeff: Michael, yeah.
Liz: Yeah, but I really doubt they're even going.
Jeff: Oh. Well, I guess some fathers just aren't as involved in their kids' lives. Well, thanks.
Liz: Sure, dad.
(Hank and Michael are having another argument)
Michael: There's no milk!
Hank: Use beer! I thought I told you to wash the dishes.
Michael: Hey, I'm eating dinner.
Hank: Oh, that's what you call dinner?
Michael: Yeah, like you care.
Hank: What did you say?
(Michael loudly knocks over some garbage)
Camper: Keep it down!
Michael: Hey, you, shut up!
(River Dog appears from the darkness)
Michael: Hey, wait! What are you doing here?
River Dog: Did you see it?
Michael: What are you talking about?
River Dog: Did any of you see it?
Michael: See what?
River Dog: It was real.
Michael: Would you quit talking in riddles? What was...the sighting. How do you know?
River Dog: I've seen it before.
(At the Crashdown, Liz is bringing camping gear down the stairs)
Maria: Running away from home?
Liz: Maria, I am begging you for mercy. Please come with me.
Maria: Dude, I told you, my idea of the great outdoors is rolling the windows down in my car on the way to the mall. Come on, I love your dad. You love your dad.
Liz: Yes, I do. I love him, but, like, in the normal father role. Which is like 5 minutes at a time, just a few times a day...not for an entire weekend with no TV.
Maria: Yeah. I've always found fathers grossly overrated myself.
Liz: And, you know, he has been getting so nosy lately. It's like he wants to know like every single detail of my life. He even asked me about Max and Michael and Isabel.
Maria: Mmm, no. That's why me and my mom have the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
Liz: I'll pay you.
Maria: How much?
Liz: 25 bucks.
Maria: $100.
Liz: Uh, $50.
Maria: $75.
Liz: $62.50.
Maria: How do you do that math so quickly?!
Liz: Ok, $62.50 and then I'll do your math homework for an entire week.
Maria: You're good.
(Liz sneezes)
Maria: Ooh. Hey, I brought you some more echinacea and threw in a little goldenseal, too.
Liz: The bus leaves at 5:00.
(Mr. Parker sees Liz paying Maria some money in exchange for a bag of what looks like drugs)
Liz: Hey, dad.
Jeff: Hey.
(At the sheriff station)
Hanson: Here's your root beer, son.
Kyle: Hanson, I'm 16.
Hanson: I'm sorry. Here's your root beer, sir. You sure you want to wait?
Kyle: He knows we've got to get a new tent. He told me to meet him here like 15 minutes ago.
Hanson: Well, it's been crazy around here. You know, the sighting. He is a walking bundle of stress.
Kyle: That's my dad.
Sheriff: Hanson! Coffee. That son of a bitch hiker. He spilled his guts to the Roswell Gazette. USA Today picked it up off the wire. Now Rocky's negotiating with Dateline.
Sheriff: Hey, Kyle.
Hanson: I guess that means you won't be returning Agent Stephens' call first thing?
Sheriff: Get Miller on the phone. Tell him to rush the search. I want every inch of that woods combed before Agent Stephens sends his feebee g*ons out there.
Sheriff: Shouldn't you be in school or something?
Kyle: I have third period free, remember? We have exactly 36 minutes to buy this tent, unless something more important has come up.
Sheriff: Oh. Listen, Kyle, about this weekend...
Kyle: You mean fathers' weekend, dad? The only 2 days in a row we spend together all year?
Sheriff: Yeah. You know, I wouldn't do this if it wasn't an emergency.
Kyle: It's an emergency. Well, come on, you can tell me. I'm family, right? Is it the big invasion?
Hanson: Mayor Higgins on the line, sir.
Sheriff: I'll be right there. Look, Kyle, I don't know what this is yet, but I can't have anybody else find out first.
Kyle: You can't or you won't?
Sheriff: I tell you what. You go on ahead without me. I'll call coach Clay. I'll make sure he takes care of you out there.
Kyle: Thanks for your effort. See you on Monday.
(Kyle leaves dejectedly)
(Michael, Max, and Isabel are discussing what to do at the Crashdown)
Max: So River Dog saw the light?
Michael: The dog himself.
Isabel: And he said it was real? You know what this could mean?
Max: Our first real proof. Could even lead to actual contact.
Michael: If we haven't had it already.
Max: What do you mean?
Michael: Why is River Dog following me? Why does he care?
Isabel: Because he knew the fourth alien.
MICHAEL; Yeah, that's what he said.
Max: And you don't believe him?
Michael: How does he know so much? I mean, how did he know to heal me when I was sick? I mean, that's some memory from when he was a kid. And where did he get those stones from? Maybe River Dog's the guy we've been looking for all along.
Max: The fourth alien?
Michael: I think he's our father, Maxwell.
Isabel: Michael, I don't think so.
Michael: Why, because you and Max already have one?
Isabel: No, that's not what I'm trying to say...
Michael: River Dog knows more about us than Philip Evans ever will, no matter how many camping trips you guys take.
(Alex is talking with Liz and Maria at the Crashdown, asking them if Isabel is glancing over at him)
Alex: Ok, ok, ok, is she looking at me?
Liz: Oh. Um...she's not...she's not really looking at you.
Alex: Isabel Evans and Alex Charles Whitman out on a date? That's like so miraculous, you know. This is the biggest moment of Alex Charles Whitman's life.
Liz: Listen, why don't you just take some deep breaths, ok?
Alex: It's just...it's amazing, you know? I...it's totally amazing. It's...it's too amazing. Oh, God! It's a joke, isn't it? It's a practical joke. You two are in on it. You bastards.
Liz: Alex, Alex, Alex, um, your paranoid schizophrenia, it's kicking in.
Alex: Right. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and go have a little talk with myself.
Liz: Ok.
Maria: See what I'm saying? These Czechoslovakians have way too weird of an effect on us. And if you don't stay away from them, Liz, I'm gonna be picking up the pieces of your heart for the rest of your life.
Liz: No, you're not, because I am staying away from him, Maria. Max and I haven't even talked to each other for days.
Maria: Really?
Liz: Yes.
Maria: Then why has he been staring at you since he came in?
Liz: He has?
Maria: Am I gonna have to do an intervention with you? Liz, make him think that you are over him, that your life is so exciting. Lie if you have to. It's for your own good.
Max: Hey.
Liz: Hey.
Max: Um, thanks. Haven't seen you in a couple of days.
Liz: I...uh, it's been kind of busy.
Maria: She means she's been kind of busy. Actually, we've both been kind of busy.
Michael: Yeah, I can see that.
Maria: You know, getting ready for the big weekend and all.
Max: You have a big weekend?
Maria: Dates. We have dates. With men.
Michael: Men?
Maria: These college guys that we met during winter break and, um, they're taking us out for dinner...an expensive dinner.
Max: Great. Well, have a good time.
(Max and Michael leave)
Liz: Maria, look, I know that you're just trying to, you know, be helpful and everything but I...
Maria: But nothing. Liz, trust me. It's for your own good. Ok?
Liz: Yeah.
(Liz and Maria see Alex go over to Isabel's booth)
Maria: Oh, great.
Alex: So, Isabel...
Maria: Another one being sucked into the alien abyss.
Alex: Listen, about our plans for tonight...
Isabel: Oh, god, Alex, I'm so sorry. My dad is insisting we go on this lame camping trip together. I...I have to cancel.
Alex: Cancel?
Isabel: Yeah, I'm really sorry.
Alex: No, no, no, no, no. Not at all. Don't worry about it. It's funny, because I was just about to tell you that I was gonna have to cancel because of this fathers' camping weekend fiesta. I mean, you know how dads can be sometimes.
Isabel: You're going camping?
Alex: Some coincidence, huh?
Isabel: Huh.
(At the school parking lot, everyone is getting ready for the camping trip)
Alex: Pops! Yeah, let me go get my dad and then get the tags for that. Pops! Hey, I'm glad you could make it on such short notice.
Alex's Dad: You sure you wanna do this, Alex?
Alex: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Come on.
Alex's Dad: But we're not really prepared.
Alex: Oh, our parkas, 2 sleeping bags, the wind at our backs...what else do we need?
Phillip: Are you sure you guys really want to do this?
Max: We've been looking forward to it.
Isabel: Yeah, absolutely.
Isabel: Mosquitoes, pit toilets, and animal droppings. Yes!
Phillip: Well, I can't say it doesn't make me happy to see you two joining in like this.
Isabel: Well, that's our new policy, dad. We're joiners. Right, Max?
Max: Joiners.
Jeff: Maria, I am so glad you're gonna come with us.
Liz: Yeah, me, too.
Jeff: Because there's something that I think we should all talk about, and it'll be good to get away from all the outside influences that you've been...
Liz: Oh, my God! Oh, God!
Jeff: ...distracted by. What the...
Liz: Oh, my God! Maria, what am I gonna do? He's here.
Maria: Ok, no problem. Let's just, um, let's tell them that the 2 college guys had midterms, and we're gonna meet them next week in Albuquerque.
Liz: Maria, having a life is one thing, but having a whole fantasy life is just a little bit troubling, don't you think?
Coach: Bennett, Butler. Hey, Valenti.
Kyle: Hey, coach.
Coach: I understand we're gonna be bunking together this trip.
Kyle: Pinch me.
Sheriff: I'll take it from here, coach.
Sheriff: New tent, right?
Kyle: Right.
Kyle: So, I thought you had to work.
Sheriff: Oh, they'll get a hold of me if they need to. I'll go check us in.
Sheriff: Hey. Squeezed another year out of it, huh?
Jeff: Oh, yeah. You know, you're lucky you got a boy.
Alex's Dad: Hello, Sheriff.
Sheriff: Hey. Jim. This weekend it's Jim.
Alex's Dad: So, Frazier Woods, huh? I don't know about you guys, but it makes me a little nervous.
Sheriff: Why? It's a well-marked campsite.
Alex's Dad: I mean about the sighting. Isn't it close to where we're going?
Sheriff: Ah, it's 3, maybe 4 miles. It's nothing to worry about.
(Sheriff notices Max and Isabel are going on the trip)
Coach: Coleman. Daskal. Evans. Hausman.
Liz: He's gonna find out. They're going alphabetically, Maria.
Coach: Kalinowski. Parker.
Max: No, uh, expensive dinner?
Maria: Actually, there's been a change in plans.
Maria: And we were making such progress.
Sheriff: Yeah, it's me. Tell Miller to put some extra men on the perimeter. I think something might happen tonight. I want to be ready.
(Everyone is looking for their own spot to set up a tent)
Phillip: Hey, hey. This looks like a good one.
Max: What about over there? It's closer to the trees.
Phillip: Yeah. Good call.
Max: It'll be easier to get away if we're near the woods.
Isabel: This is crazy, Max. Valenti is right here.
Max: That's exactly why we have to do this, Isabel. If that sighting is real and there is something out there, then we have to find it first. We have no choice.
Kyle: I'm gonna break the all-time record. Last year I ate 5 bratwurst. This year I'm gonna eat 6. How 'bout you? Dad..... Focus. Son.
Sheriff: Sorry, Kyle. What were you asking?
Kyle: What is that? What are you doing?
Sheriff: I promised Miller I'd stay in touch tonight. You know what? Reception's low in this area. Let's try a different site.
Kyle: But I picked this one.
Sheriff: Kyle.
Kyle: I...
Alex's Dad: Hey, look at us. We're campin'.
Alex: Hey. Ok, here we go. Now we're ready to have some fun.
(The Sheriff coincidentally gets good reception with his cell phone next to Max and Isabel's campsite)
Sheriff: Bingo. Reception. Hey, you got space for a few more around here?
(Mr. Parker, Liz, and Maria walk near Max and Isabel's campsite)
Sheriff: Jeff! Over here. Come on. We'll make a party of it.
Liz & Maria: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Jeff: Look, there's Alex. Come on, it'll be fun. I can get to know some of your new friends.
(Kyle is telling a campfire story)
Kyle: That summer, they found 5 cows, all of them mutilated with surgical precision on Haddie Wexler's farm. When she died 2 months later they did an autopsy, and sure enough, they found perfectly bored holes in her skull just where she claims the aliens made them when they abducted her that night. That skull is now buried deep somewhere within area 51.
Sheriff: Got 'em on the edge of their seats, son. Where'd you hear that?
Kyle: It's one of grandpa's favorite ones, isn't it?
Max: I'll see your nickel and raise you a quarter.
Phillip: I fold. I know better.
Alex's Dad: Ha. Too rich for my blood.
Jeff: What are you hidin', Max? Got some power over these guys...makes 'em do exactly what you want? Well, I call. Full house. Jacks and eights.
(Max's hand would have b*at Mr. Parker's hand, but he changes one of the Aces to a 2 so Mr. Parker would win)
Max: 2 pair. You win.
Jeff: That was a good bluff. But I saw through you.
(Alex and Isabel are stargazing)
Isabel: And then to the right of the Milky Way, that's Orion.
Alex: Oh, wow.
Isabel: And see the north star?
Alex: Yeah.
Isabel: Ok, now look a little to your left...and a little further out, that small group of stars right there, that's the Cygnus constellation. It's the furthest we can see from here.
Alex: It's amazing.
Isabel: What is?
Alex: Staring at the stars with you. I mean, I used to look up there, and stars were just stars. One was just as good as the next one. Somehow with you...I mean... It's so wondrous, you know? I mean...each star is...is a mystery, you know, and so full of possibility. This is so much better than seeing a movie.
Isabel: Thanks.
Alex: Hey, listen, um...since we didn't get a chance to go out on our date tonight, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do something together on Friday.
Isabel: Our what?
Alex: Well, not a date. That's probably the wrong word...
Isabel: I just thought that we were going to the movies, you know, to hang out, to have fun, talk like real friends....
Alex: Well, yeah, me, too...
Isabel: It can't be a date, Alex. Don't you understand? It can't be anything like that.
(Isabel walks away)
(Max walks up to Liz as she is brushing her teeth)
Max: Always be prepared.
Liz: Well, contrary to what what some people might think, gambling is not a dental hygiene alternative.
Max: Liz, wait. Is this the way...things are gonna be between us from now on?
Liz: I think you were the one that wanted it this way.
Max: No, I didn't. I wanted us...to slow down, not screech to a halt.
Liz: Well, then you should let me in, Max. You know, I know what's going on. I've been...I have been waiting for you to be the one to bring it up, but you don't. You're here because of the sighting, Max.
Max: Please, no one else can know.
Liz: Max, I know you think...that we shouldn't be together, and maybe you're right. But you made me a part of this.
(River Dog goes to Michael's trailer)
River Dog: It's time.
(Liz goes back to her tent to find her dad going through her backpack)
Jeff: I thought you were washing up, sweetie.
Liz: I'm finished. What are you doing?
Jeff: I'm looking for these. Can you explain this?
Liz: Yeah, I can. Um...it's echinacea, dad. You take it when you're gonna get a cold. Why, what did you, uh, think?
Jeff: Nothing. It's just that I...
Liz: You thought it was drugs.
Jeff: I didn't know what to think. You're so...grown up all of a sudden. I just feel like I'm not a part of your life anymore, that's all.
Liz: I guess it's just that whole privacy thing.
Jeff: Sure.
Voice-Over: I guess everyone has their reasons for keeping people away, an instinct to protect yourself from getting hurt. It's part of human nature. I just wish Max would understand that...that he would realize that he's not that different from us at all. Maybe then we'd have a chance.
(Max and Isabel sneak off during the night and Liz follows them, as does Valenti after they get a bit of a head start)
Liz: You almost scared me to death.
Isabel: How do you think you made us feel?
Max: Go back right now.
Liz: Max, this matters to me, too.
Isabel: What matters is that we find out what this sighting is all about before anyone else can.
Liz: Don't leave me out of this, Max...please.
Isabel: This is a mistake, Max. Getting everyone involved like this is just...
(Maria appears with a flashlight in hand)
Isabel: Oh, great. That's great. Why don't we just send out a flare?
Maria: I figured you guys would be having a little woodsy tryst. I hope you're here to talk them out of it, too.
Liz: Maria, they're here because of the sighting.
Maria: That was real?
Max: That's what we have to find out.
Isabel: Look, you can stand there explaining it to them all night. I'm going, ok?
Liz: Well, are you staying here or are you gonna come with?
Maria: You're going with them?
Liz: Make up your mind, Maria. I've made up mine.
Maria: You can't let go of him, can you?
Liz: I don't want to.
Maria: Wait!
(Maria decides to follow)
Maria: Ok. We've been, like, hiking for over an hour.
Max: We're getting close.
Maria: It is officially freezing out here.
Liz: Maria, it's not that cold.
Maria: Really? Really, 'cause i'm now wearing an ice bra! Whatever, it's uncomfortable!
(Dogs start barking off in the distance)
Liz: Is that coyotes?
Max: Search dogs. Come on, we're close. Come on!
(Mr. Parker wakes up and looks around for Liz)
Jeff: Lizzie. Come inside, sweetie. It's too cold. Liz, listen I'm sorry about before--
(Mr. Parker notices that Liz is gone)
Jeff: Oh, jeez...Liz?
Deputy: Come on, boys. You on to something? Come on!Let's go! Let's go!
Max: Can't outrun them. They're too fast.
Isabel: What are we gonna do?
Max: I don't know.
Liz: You guys just keep going.
Max: What?
Liz: Maria and I'll stay here and just let them catch us.
Max: Liz, no.
Liz: No, Max, it's all right. We'll just say that we got lost in the woods. This is too important. Keep going.
Max: Are you sure?
Liz: Yeah. The important thing is you just find what you're looking for.
Max: I will.
Liz: All right. Go. Isabel, go. Go!
Liz & Maria: We're here! We're over here! Help! Come find us! Help us! We're over here! We're here! We're right here.
Maria: My mom's gonna love this, really.
(River Dog and Michael are also searching through the woods)
River Dog: Just over there.
(River Dog falls and grimaces in pain)
Michael: Hey, are you all right?
River Dog: Gimme your hand.
Michael: Here.
River Dog: Whoa!
Michael: What, what, what, what, what?
River Dog: I...I think I broke my ankle. It's...it's about a mile north of here. You keep going. Ah...
Michael: Why don't you fix it?
River Dog: What?
Michael: Your ankle.
River Dog: What are you talkin' about?
Michael: Why don't you tell me the truth?
River Dog: The truth about what?
Michael: About who you are.
River Dog: You think I'm Nasedo.
Michael: You knew everything about us. You knew what was wrong with me when I was sick, and you knew exactly how to fix it. How did you know all those things? And why would you wanna help us if you weren't...
River Dog: I'm sorry, Michael...but I'm not your father.
Michael: Just had to make sure.
(Michael heals River Dog's ankle)
Michael: You can walk now.
River Dog: Thank you. Now we're even.
Michael: I don't think we'll ever be even.
Michael: Better go. Let's go.
(Liz and Maria meet up with Mr. Parker again)
Jeff: You two scared me to death.
Liz: Dad, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
Maria: I am so sorry, Mr. Parker. I had to go to the bathroom, and I couldn't handle the pit toilet, so I asked Liz to come with me, and next thing you know...
Jeff: It's ok. I'm just so glad you guys are all right.
Phillip: Officer, uh, you didn't find anyone else?
Deputy: Only that guy over there.
Milton: I'm a scientist!
Deputy: Found him wandering around the woods with a metal detector...looking for space ships.
Milton: You're making a big mistake, friend! You're all in grave danger!
Phillip: I'm missing my kids. Max and Isabel.
Deputy: No, sir. Sorry.
Max: We're here. It's the cave.
(Valenti is spying on Max and Isabel when Kyle sneaks up on him from behind)
Sheriff: Kyle, what the hell are you doing here?
Kyle: Just wanted to see what was more important than me.
Sheriff: You don't understand.
Kyle: No, I don't. I don't understand why you're hunting Max Evans, why you can't just tell me.
(River Dog and Michael enter a small clearing and find Max and Isabel there as well)
River Dog: Wait, what are they doing here?
Michael: They came on their own.
River Dog: All right. This is where it'll be.
Max: What are we looking for?
(Kyle and his father have a brief argument deep in the woods)
Sheriff: Kyle, you get the hell outta here right now.
Kyle: How many times have I heard the stories, dad? How many times you sitting at home listening to grandma cry while grandpa spent the night chasing spacemen out in the woods? That's my role now, isn't it? It's ironic.
Sheriff: Kyle, wait.
Kyle: Now I know why you never wanted to see grandpa again. Because to him you were just a low priority!
Isabel: Oh, my God. It's the symbol from the cave.
Michael: The white light, or whatever the hell that was, caused this?
River Dog: Yes. It's a sign.
(Max, Isabel, Michael, and River Dog find an alien symbol b*rned onto the ground. They move toward it, turn off their flashlights, and hold out their palms to the symbol, causing it to light up with a light blue glow)
River Dog: It was meant for you.
Max: What does this mean?
Michael: That he's back. Nasedo's here.
Max: Someone's here.
(The Sheriff enters the clearing)
Michael: What do you want?
Sheriff: Step outta my way.
River Dog: Do as he asks.
(Max uses his power to make the alien symbol disappear while Michael is blocking the Sheriff)
Sheriff: Something was here. What were you looking at?
Max: We've been lost for hours here. Thank you for finding us.
(Max, Michael, and Isabel walk off)
(Sheriff Valenti is at a retirement home, gazing into a room filled with patients)
Doctor: Can I help you?
Sheriff: Yeah. I'm here to see James Valenti, Sr.
Doctor: And you are?
Sheriff: I'm his son.
Doctor: That's him.
Sheriff: Dad?
(We see Jim Valenti, Sr., an extremely weary-looking man who is having trouble eating some pears)
Jim Sr: Damn pears are slippery.
Sheriff: Dad. It's me. It's Jimmy. Been a while, huh?
Jim Sr: A long time.
Sheriff: Yeah. Maybe you were right. Maybe you were right all along. And I'm sorry. I can help you with those. Here.
(Scene fades out with Sheriff Valenti feeding his father at the retirement home) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x11 - Into the Woods"} | foreverdreaming |
"The Convention" AKA "The UFO Convention"
Episode: 13
13th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA12
Written by: Jason Katims, Emily Whitesell
Original Air Date: Wednesday February 2, 2000
(Episode begins outside the UFO Center. There is a UFO convention going on. There is someone dressed in a green alien costume, handing out flyers to people. The alien stares across the street at Liz at the Crashdown)
(A deputy is telling Sheriff Valenti about all the commotion the sighting has caused)
Deputy: 14 calls this morning, Sheriff, all about the sighting last week.
Sheriff: Dry lightning, deputy.
Deputy: I keep telling them that, but they keep calling.
Sheriff: I don't have time to talk to anybody about unfounded or unsubstantiated rumors, and it is your job to explain that to them.
Deputy: Yes, sir.
Sheriff: Thank you, deputy.
(Valenti opens the door to his office to find a man sitting in his chair)
Hubble: Been a while, junior.
Sheriff: How'd you get past the front desk?
Hubble: Better beef up security. Heard you had a boy. Bachelor myself, no kids for me.
Sheriff: You're not welcome here, Hub.
Hubble: Oh, junior, I expect more from you than dumb-ass small-town thr*at. Well, just wanted to stop by. Regards to your dad. From what I hear, you're starting to come around to his way of thinking. See ya, junior.
Deputy: Who was that?
Sheriff: That, deputy, was a bona fide alien hunter.
(Opening credits)
(There is a UFO convention at the UFO center. Michael is talking to an "alien expert", asking his opinion on aliens)
Alien Expert: I've concluded, Mr. Guerin, that yes, these aliens do exist. Yes, they're among us today. And yes, they're brutal, dangerous K*llers and must be stopped at any cost.
(Isabel walks by and pulls Michael away)
Michael: Hey, I wasn't finished talking to him.
Isabel: I want to get the hell out of here. This place is psychologically damaging.
Michael: Hey, I've got no choice here. We've got cave paintings we don't understand. We've got Nasedo sending us messages. This place could hold the answers to everything.
Isabel: Yeah, I'm sure it's a real mecca for factual information.
Max (in disguise): Save me. Save me. I'm a human trapped in an alien body.
Isabel: Excuse us.
(Max takes off his mask)
Max: Ugh.
Isabel: You realize that we've just lost our last shred of dignity.
(Liz is serving convention patrons at the Crashdown Cafe)
Liz: Ok, I have one Green Eggs with Moon Rock Hash and one convention special. Can I get you guys anything else?
Zinaplox: I am Zinaplox from the planet Zedagon. I come to destroy humanity and return to my home planet.
Liz: Well, then it's really great that you're starting out with a nice hearty breakfast.
(Liz looks up and sees Larry and Jen enter the Crashdown. She starts seeing flashbacks of the sh**ting incident that occurred last September)
Liz: Hi, welcome to the Crashdown. Can I show you to a table?
Larry: Table, yes...table would be lovely. Jen, table?
Jen: Yeah, thanks.
Larry: Great.
Liz: Here you go. Ah, so, can I get you a beverage to start?
Larry: Beverage would be lovely. Jen, beverage?
Jen: I'll have a Coke.
Larry: Yeah, you know what? I would love to try one of those, uh, delicious shakes that you guys have. Let's see, which one...oh, this one looks interesting. Alien Encounter?
Liz: Yeah, ok, so we've got one Coke and one Alien Encounter. I'll just be right back.
Larry: Thanks. Actually, you know what. There is just one more little thing. Why don't you tell me what really happened in September.
(Max drags Michael into one of the rooms in the UFO Center)
Max: Michael, I've got to talk to you about something...personal.
Michael: Nothing's too personal.
Max: How'd you do it with Maria?
Michael: Too personal.
Max: No, I mean...how did you stop? I can't stop thinking about Liz. Everytime I see her, she just starts going into slow motion.
Michael: Maxwell, you've gotta be strong. You can't let yourself be led around by your...energy source. It wasn't easy for me, either, but you gotta throw yourself into something else...anything else. Something just to get your mind off her.
Max: Throw myself into something.
(Milton walks up to Max on the convention floor)
Milton: Can you feel it, Evans?
Max: What's that, Milton?
Milton: The energy, the synergy...it's kismet.
Max: Kismet?
Milton: The sighting has attracted some of the leading experts in the field. This is shaping up to be one of the most important gatherings on the paranormal in history. We're not just a joke anymore, Evans.
Max: That's great, Milton.
Milton: The problem is I'm overwhelmed here. The press is buzzing around like flies. And the celebrities, they're making my life a living hell. Oh, well, it's no wonder my cyadic nerve is acting up.
Max: Well, maybe I could take on more.
Milton: More?
Max: More work, more responsibilities. I've actually been looking for something to throw myself into.
Milton: I'm not going to lie to you, Evans. I'm moved right now. I'm going to give you more work than you ever knew existed.
(Michael is looking around at the various exhibits and finds something called the "Alien Takedown", which Maria is helping to set up)
Michael: Alien Takedown? What's that, some kind of wrestling match?
Maria: Yeah, the Alien Takedown. Do you have a problem with that?
Michael: Yeah, you know what, I do. I'm here trying to figure out the meaning of my existence, and I'm tired of having to wade through the kooks like you and the freak shows like this in order to do it.
Amy: Nothing personal, but this freak show keeps my kooky daughter and myself off the streets.
Maria: Mom, Michael. Michael, mom.
Amy: Nice to meet you.
Maria: That was some guffaw.
Michael: Guffaw?
Maria: Yeah, my mother. Great first impression.
Michael: Why would I want to make an impression?
(Somewhere else in the convention, Jonathan Frakes walks up to Max)
Frakes: Are you Max Evans?
Max: Yeah. Oh, aren't you...
Frakes: Yes, I am. Milton said that you were in charge of celebrity relations.
Max: Well, yeah, I guess I am.
Frakes: Then maybe you can explain to me why Shatner and Stewart got suites and I didn't.
Max: Well, I think the Tumbleweed only has 2 suites.
Frakes: And why wouldn't I get one of them?
Max: I think they signed on first, so they got the suites.
Frakes: Oh, that would explain it. Well, I'm going to need a suite, too.
Max: I don't think there are any.
Frakes: No, the right reply would be "I'll take care of it, Mr. Frakes."
Max: Yeah, but I don't...I'll see what I can do? I'll move you to another motel.
Frakes: Thanks, Max.
(Frakes walks off)
Milton: Evans. I want you to meet a legend. This is Everett Hubble. You are looking at one of the few men in the world rumored to have made direct contact.
Max: Direct contact. Sounds exciting.
Hubble: That's one way of looking at it.
Max: So, what did this alien look like?
Hubble: Looked like you, actually...or me. They're not little green men, you know.
Milton: I'm trying to get Hub to participate in our final roundtable discussion on Sunday.
Hubble: I'm just passing through. Nice little souvenir shop you got going here, Miltie.
(Hubble walks off)
Milton: Max, you want to do more? Get Hubble to do the roundtable. Disappeared almost 30 years ago, nobody's seen him since. The man's an enigma.
(Valenti is at home with his dad's personal belongings in a box in front of him. He slowly opens the box and picks up a newspaper article dealing with his father being arrested for a Silo m*rder)
(Max is running the info booth for the UFO Center)
Boy: So, why'd they k*ll the aliens?
Max: What aliens?
Boy: From the '47 crash. Why'd they k*ll them?
Max: Well, maybe you should visit our "Theories on '47" exhibit.
Boy: But I thought this was the information booth.
Max: Well, yeah, it is, but...
(Max is distracted all of a sudden because Liz just entered the UFO Center and is walking straight towards him)
Michael: Mud.
Max: What?
Michael: When you're with her, think about mud. It helped me.
Max: Michael, I don't need some trick. I can handle this.
Liz: Hi, um, I just wanted to talk to you about the luncheon that we're catering.
Max: Oh, yeah, if it's work-related, sure. It's just...I'm kind of busy.
Liz: Ok, um, I'll just...come over...it's just that, um...Larry and Jennifer are back. You know, the ones that were there the day that I got sh*t? And now, Jennifer won't leave. She just planted herself in the Crashdown.
(Max's mind starts to wander and he sees Liz talking in slow motion)
Liz: It's like, I don't know, she's been sitting there for hours. And it kind of feels like she's been watching me or something. So I came here to tell you that they're here, in case anything should happen...I want you...
Max: Mud.
Liz: What?
Max: Pie. Mud pie. For the lunch the Crashdown is catering tomorrow. I was thinking about mud pie.
Liz: Ok, um, I'll see if I can arrange it.
Max: I gotta go. I'm really busy.
Liz: Ok.
(Sheriff Valenti is wandering around the UFO Center and spots Hubble. As he starts to walk towards him, he runs into Amy De Luca)
Amy: Jim...Hi.
Sheriff: Hey, Amy.
Amy: I didn't think UFO conventions were your cup of tea.
Sheriff: I'm just here to see a friend.
Amy: Oh.
Sheriff: I'll catch up with you later, Amy.
(Elsewhere in the UFO Center, Alex meets up with Isabel)
Alex: Isabel, wow, hey. So, you made it.
Isabel: You've gotta stop following me, Alex.
Alex: Following you? Are you kidding me? I just happened to be here. I mean, the whole town is here.
Maria: Oh, good, you found Isabel. He was looking for you.
(Outside the UFO Center, Hubble is leaned up against a car and sees Valenti walking towards him)
Hubble: Looking for someone?
Sheriff: What did you come back here for, Hubble?
Hubble: Well, I've been tracking what's been going on around here for the last few months. The sh**ting in September at the Crashdown. What happened over there?
Sheriff: You got to my father when he was at his weakest, and you pushed him over the edge. Because of you, I had to have him committed.
Hubble: Well, now you're giving me more credit than I deserve.
Sheriff: You get the hell out of here.
Hubble: I thought we already talked about...
Sheriff: I'm not talking to you as the Sheriff now. This is coming from me. From everything you've cost me. I don't ever want to have to see you again.
Hubble: I understand you'd be upset, but remember this...all those years your father's been in that nuthouse, I've been living in my own hell. Now, from what I hear, your dad isn't all there these days. But I'll bet you still have a lot of questions...about your father, about that Silo m*rder and why he was arrested. I'm the only person in the world that has the answers to those questions. I was there. I saw it all. I'm your link, junior. So before you kick me out of town, you ought to think about that. I can help you. We can help each other.
(It's Day 2 of the convention and Jonathan Frakes is preparing to have a mold of his handprint made for Milton's collection)
Milton: This is truly an honor, Mr. Frakes. Our collection will be unparalleled.
Frakes: Really. Who else have you got?
Milton: Actually, you're our first. Our very own number one, if you know what I mean. But with Stewart and Shatner and Nimoy, there's no question it's going to be big. Really big.
Frakes: Yeah.
Milton: Here we go.
Frakes: Here we go.
Milton: Ahh.
Milton: Oh, Evans! Evans! Oh, no problem. No problem.
(At the Crashdown, Liz stops by Jen's table, asking if she would like another coffee refill)
Liz: Another refill?
Jen: Thanks.
Liz: You know this is going to be your eighth cup. Do you want to switch to decaf?
Jen: Why, do I look wired to you? Strung out?
Liz: No, no, no, you don't...not at all. You know, it's just that your eyes are a little bit red.
Jen: Great. Now he's going to know I've been crying. He hates it when I cry.
Liz: Larry?
Jen: I guess I'd better go.
Liz: No, just wait. Here. Here. Put this on your eyes. He'll never know.
(Inside the UFO Center, Michael is asking Max who the real experts are)
Michael: Maxwell, you gotta show me the real guys.
Max: The real guys?
Michael: I'm sick and tired of talking to all these frauds. I mean, you're on the inside. Where are the real guys?
Max: Michael, there are no real guys. It's a freak show.
(Michael looks over and sees Hubble)
Michael: Who's that?
Max: Nobody.
Michael: Come on, Max, don't toy with me.
(Michael suddenly notices Larry)
Michael: Oh...there's the geek from the Crashdown that day.
Max: I know. He's been hanging around. I'm sure he's just here for the convention.
Michael: I'm gonna go keep an eye on him, all right?
Max: Excuse me, Mr. Hubble? About the...the final roundtable on Sunday...well, Milton just wanted you to know that any way that we might be able to accommodate you...
Hubble: I'm a doer, not a talker, kid.
Max: Right. So I...I'm just curious...I mean, you work here, you sorta get the bug. Did you see something?
Hubble: Well, let's just say this...this place you're working at...this place...is a joke. If these people knew the truth, they wouldn't all be laughing so damn hard.
Max: Is it true what Milton said? That you disappeared 30 years ago?
Hubble: I didn't disappear. I'm standing right in front of you. Now I'm going to disappear.
(Max looks for info on Everett Hubble in Milton's UFO search engine and sees something about the Silo m*rder)
(Valenti is talking to his dad at the retirement center)
Sheriff: Dad?
Jim Sr: It's too cold in here. Like an icebox.
Sheriff: Dad...try to focus. That night of the m*rder...at the silo...Hubble was there?
Jim Sr: Hub.
Sheriff: Yeah.
Jim Sr: He couldn't let go of his wife. That was his problem all along.
Sheriff: Dad...
Jim Sr: His wife and his kid.
Sheriff: He didn't have a wife and kid.
Jim Sr: It's freezing in here. They're trying to k*ll me.
Sheriff: There you go.
(Jen and Liz are bonding at the Crashdown)
Jen: I love Larry. That's the problem. He proposed a year ago. We bought a van to drive to California to get married. It was only supposed to be a 2 week trip. And then we stopped in here for breakfast that day. And we've been on the road ever since.
Liz: No marriage license?
Jen: You know how guys get hooked on things? So obsessed with something, they forget about you?
Liz: Yeah.
Jen: Larry's been chasing UFOs ever since that day. In the beginning I was kind of into it...but now I'm tired of adventure. I just want to settle down. I really want a normal guy.
Liz: I can understand that.
Jen: You got one, too, huh? A unique boyfriend?
Liz: Unique? Yeah, that's a good word for Max.
Jen: Max?
(A panel discussion has been organized as part of the convention)
Expert: The experience of Mr. Grabowski has been well documented. His encounter with the smooth-skinned ovoid E.B.E. contributes to a growing body of evidence as brave men like himself bring their stories to the public eye.
Frakes: Well, there you have it. Thank you, Mr. Grabowski. Our next direct contact witness is a Lawrence Trilling.
Larry: Right here!
Frakes: Good afternoon, Lawrence. Do you mind if I call you Larry?
Larry: No, that would be great. First of all, Mr. Frakes, I just gotta say that...you know how some people say that Clapton is god, you know? But I say you. You are god. I mean, I got...I got goose bumps.
Frakes: Thank you very much.
Larry: It's gotta be Frakes!
Frakes: Ok, let's go to your encounter.
Larry: Yeah, right. Ok. Um...it happened right here...right in Roswell, New Mexico. September 17th. I was in the Crashdown Cafe. Now, that's right across the street. So I'm sitting there. 2 guys come in.
(Michael and Max exchange alarmed looks. Michael then makes his way towards Larry)
Larry: Boom! They start having an argument. Boom! A g*n is pulled.
(Michael puts a hand on Larry's chest, and gives him a nasty itch)
Michael: Sorry.
Larry: Oh...no, that's ok. So these 2 guys, they start to...ahh...they start to struggle, ok? Boom! A girl is sh*t. Boom! A seemingly normal teenage boy...now this teenage boy, Mr. Frakes, is someone who looks just like you and me. Boom! He goes up to the girl and puts his hand over her, uh, wound, and then, boom! She...uh...she's miraculously healed.
Frakes: Ooh! Well, all I can say is, boom! What do you think?
Expert: I'm insulted by this ridiculous story.
Larry: Yeah, well, he is here. He is right here! Ok? Pal? He's right here. Right now! He's in the very audience!
Frakes: That's enough, monkey man!
Larry: Listen, cool it, Frakes!
Frakes: Security?
Milton: You and me, Evans. Let's get him.
Larry: Hey, this is the guy right here! This is the guy! He's the one! He's the guy!
Frakes: Well, he may not be the best convention coordinator, but I would hardly call him an alien.
Larry: You're just like the rest of them, Frakes! There was a b*llet...ah...the b*llet disappeared! So where's the b*llet?
Milton: All right, careful, Evans!
Larry: The b*llet disappeared! It was never found! Where's the b*llet? Ahhh...
(Outside the UFO Center, Hubble walks up to Larry and asks him about Max Evans)
Hubble: I know how it feels not to be listened to. I believe you, kid. Tell me everything. Tell me about Max Evans. Tell me what you saw.
(It's Day 3 of the convention, and Frakes is wondering when the other stars will arrive)
Frakes: Hey, uh, Milton! Where's my replacements? Shatner? Stewart? Nimoy?
Milton: Max, didn't you tell him?
Max: I thought we weren't supposed to.
Milton: At least your room has been upgraded to a suite.
Max: Milton, about Hubble...what about this Silo m*rder in 1972?
Milton: How do you know about that?
Max: Well, I looked it up on your UFO search engine.
Milton: Evans, you are beginning to remind me more and more of myself when I was your age.
Max: You said he disappeared about 30 years ago. Was it because of the m*rder?
Milton: Evans, when I say he doesn't talk, I mean he doesn't talk! Ever! The people I know in the community, people on the inside, believe he went after one. He found one and he's been tracking him ever since. He could be closer than any of us, Evans.
(Amy is on the phone with one of the wrestlers she hired for the Alien Takedown)
Amy: You can't quit now. The Alien Takedown is in an hour! Ernie, you have nothing to be afraid of. Raging Ray is a...puppy dog. Look, he's not really gonna do anything really rough. I realize you suffered a broken rib last year...fine, 2, I...did you not receive my gift basket? Look, Ernie, if you don't do this, I'm broke. Ok? I'm out of business, ok? I...I have half my annual revenue tied up in this thing! Hello? Hello? Oh...
(Inside Valenti's office, Hubble shows the Sheriff some of the alien m*rder pics he's taken)
Hubble: Thanks for hearing me out, Jimmy. This guy's been leaving carnage all over the southwest for the past 40 years. No reason to believe he's about to stop. Handprints are the only trail he leaves. It only lasts for a day or so, and then it disappears, so I'm always around with a camera.
Sheriff: Where'd you get these?
Hubble: I know you've been investigating, but you're a weekend enthusiast. It's been full-time for me. One of them's my own work. The girl...
Sheriff: Who is she?
Hubble: It's not important. The others I procured. Like I said, I have connections.
Sheriff: Who are they?
Hubble: The victims? They're just people. People with bad luck. In the wrong place at the wrong time. Jimmy...your father may have made a mistake that night....pulled the trigger on the wrong man...but he wasn't crazy. You already know that, don't you? You knew that when I showed up here. It was in your eyes. All your father wanted to do was to help this world out. And they hung him on a cross for it. This isn't just some happy-go-lucky alien we're lookin' at. This is a k*ller, Jimmy. If you know something about it, it's our duty to team together now...do something. What about this kid? Max Evans. He have something to do with all this?
Sheriff: Maybe.
(Alex knocks on the door of the Evans home. Isabel has been waiting for him to make his move)
Alex: Hello! Anybody home?
Isabel: Come in.
Alex: Hey, I was in the neighborhood.
Isabel: Yeah, for the last 20 minutes. What's up?
Alex: Um...I saw this at the convention, and I...I had to get it for you. It's a book on constellations.
Isabel: Had to?
Alex: I know that you're into the stars and everything and...well, I was thinking that maybe, um, sometime we could get together and, you know, try it out?
Isabel: I thought we'd been through this. You know, no dates.
Alex: No, no, no, no! Not a date. Just 2 friends out at the same place, enjoying the same thing at the same time.
Isabel: I really like you, Alex.
Alex: Well, thank you, Isabel.
Isabel: But this has to stop.
Alex: It does, yeah. What? What does?
Isabel: This obsession. I...I mean I wanna be your friend, but every time I turn around you're there and...and it's suffocating me. So...I'm sorry.
Alex: No no...I got you. No problem. Um...I wouldn't want to suffocate anybody. So I'll just, uh...I'll...I'll see you later.
(At the Crashdown, Maria and her mom are depressed because Ernie couldn't make it to the Alien Takedown wrestling match)
Liz: Here you go. Drown your sorrows.
Amy: Oh, girls, girls, girls...if I'd known real life was gonna be this difficult I never would have signed up.
Alex: You guys look as good as I feel.
Liz: Root beer float?
Alex: No, uh...orange soda on the rocks.
Amy: Mmm, girl trouble.
Alex: Oh, it's that obvious? Great. Great. Hey, listen...let me ask you guys a question. As women, do you find that all men are obsessive?
Amy: Yes.
Liz: Absolutely.
Maria: No question.
Amy: They find something...
Maria: Usually something completely inane and useless.
Liz: Oh, like football.
Everyone: Or UFOs.
Amy: Oh, and then they just don't let it go!
Jen: Until it consumes every waking minute of their day! Sorry. Couldn't help but deeply relate.
Liz: Yeah, but then they use it as an excuse.
Amy: Oh, whenever it's convenient for them...
Maria: To just completely ignore you.
Amy: Yeah, and it's so clear why they're doing it.
Liz: Oh, yeah. It's an avoidance thing.
Jen: They hide behind their obsession!
Amy: Because what they really are is afraid.
Maria: Deathly afraid.
Liz: Of commitment.
Alex: Ok. I got it. Crystal clear. But...what if, uh, there's a guy whose obsession is a woman?
Everyone: Oh!
Amy: Oh, yeah, right.
Liz: Dream on.
Milton: Amy! Where are you? The match is almost over!
Amy: What? Ernie showed up?
Ray: Hey, yo. You better call an ambulance, huh? Bang! Ha ha ha ha!
(Amy rushes to the area set aside for the "Alien Takedown" and finds a masked wrestler lying in the middle of the ring...he's not moving)
Amy: Ernie! Oh, my God! Are you ok?
(The masked wrestler slowly takes off his mask to reveal...Michael)
Michael: I'm just resting.
Amy: Oh, you dear, dear, boy! Oh!
(Michael sits up and Maria sits down in front of him and smiles at him)
Michael: It was easy money.
(Maria smiles at Michael -- obviously grateful for his selfless act --, pulls his head towards hers, and softly kisses him)
Michael: Mud.
Maria: What?
Michael: Mud. I'm thinking about mud.
Maria: Why do I even try?
(Sheriff Valenti is going through the pictures that Hubble gave him. He sees a license plate in one of the pictures and looks it up in his computer. The car was registered to Sheila Hubble)
Sheriff: Well, now, how about that?
(At the UFO Center, Hubble is looking for Max and finds him in one of the back rooms)
Hubble: Evans! Milton said you wanted to talk to me about something.
Max: Yeah, um, Shatner's a no-show.
Hubble: Oh, sorry to hear that.
Max: What do I have to do to convince you to...to do this panel?
Hubble: Well, son, your tenacity has won me over.
Max: Really?
Hubble: I'm no Captain Kirk, but I'll give it my best sh*t.
Max: Great! Thank you.
Hubble: There's only one problem. My slides are back home. I'd go get 'em, but, uh...I busted a hose on my way up. My truck's down at the garage waiting for the part. Thing's so old that, uh, I think they had to order it from Singapore.
Max: Then I'll drive you.
Hubble: That's what I thought you'd say. We could talk on the way over...answer your questions.
(Valenti goes back to his father, realizing that his father told the truth about Hubble having a wife and child)
Sheriff: You were right. He had a wife. Hubble came to you, didn't he? He told you someone was trying to steal his car that night. And he found his wife d*ad. And she had a handprint on her. Just like the one that you'd seen on that corpse in 1959. And he saw a man run away from the scene. A drifter. And he thought the drifter was the m*rder. Now 2 years after the m*rder, he came back, didn't he? And he found you. And he persuaded you...seduced you...and you helped him find that drifter. Isn't that right, dad?
Jim Sr: The drifter?
Sheriff: And when you found him, you k*lled him. You k*lled an innocent man because of Hubble.
Jim Sr: No.
Sheriff: Dad...
Jim Sr: No!
Sheriff: Dad, tell me what happened out there, please.
(Max and Hubble leave the UFO center and go towards Max's jeep)
Max: All right. I'm ready.
Hubble: I'm ready, too.
Max: So where are we going?
Hubble: Not far. I'm just over in Bitter Lake.
(Michael sees Max and Hubble leaving together and walks up to Larry and forcefully gets some answers from him)
Michael: Hey, what the hell's going on? What's that guy doing with Max?
Larry: I don't know.
Michael: Tell me what he's doing with Max!
Larry: All right. He came up to me after the panel discussion, all right? He asked me questions about Max. You know, what he did the day of the sh**ting.
(Back at the retirement home, Valenti's dad is trying to explain what happened)
Jim Sr: I did help Hubble. We tracked him. We were just going to get the truth. He told me he wouldn't hurt the man.
Sheriff: Hubble sh*t him. Didn't he? He sh*t the drifter, not you.
Jim Sr: Whatever you do, Jimmy...don't trust him.
(Max and Hubble are in Max's jeep going down a road)
Hubble: Beautiful countryside, don't you think? Especially at sunset.
Max: Yeah, it's pretty cool. So, Mr. Hubble, you said you were going to answer my questions.
Hubble: My wife Sheila and me liked to slip away sometimes...just take a drive. Nothing like flying down the highway with the woman you love by your side, now is there?
Max: You're probably right.
Hubble: 'Course it's gotta be the right one. You know how you know that? A kiss. That's how. Ever heard the expression, "I saw fireworks"? It was just like the 4th of July. That ever happen to you when you kissed a girl?
Max: Maybe...once.
Hubble: Well...it was our first anniversary. She told me she had a surprise for me. I had one for her. I took the last of my paycheck from the refinery, and I bought some fireworks from an old Indian over by the side of the road off the highway there. Just outside of town I remembered I forgot to bring matches. So I pulled in to Peppers Cafe. But you know that, don't you?
Max: Sir?
Hubble: Pull over to the side there. I want to show you something. You recognize it?
Max: I don't know what you're talking about. I've never been here.
Hubble: It was just gettin' dark. All I needed was a pack of matches and...there, there they were...right there on the counter, in a fishbowl. 10 cents a pack.
Max: Mr. Hubble, if we're gonna make Bitter Lake and back in time for the panel...
Hubble: And you know what? I...I didn't have it. Not...not even 10 cents. I thought about going back and...and getting some spare change where I kept it in the ashtray. But I said, "hey, bud...bud, don't make me embarrass myself in front of my lady. Uh, it's my anniversary." And he says, uh..."Have a good time...it's on the house."
Max: I don't understand.
Hubble: I didn't have a good time. Not that night. Not any night since.
(Larry enters the Crashdown and looks around frantically for Jen)
Larry: Hey! Jen, hi. Listen, I have had an epiphany.
Jen: Really? I thought you said it was an allergy att*ck.
Larry: Listen, Jen, last night I spent 2 hours with a guy who's spent his entire life hunting aliens. Now, that is not me, all right? I do not want to become that. Ok? I am not a hunter, Jen, you know...I am a gatherer. All right? A gatherer of...of...of information. A seeker of truth. You know? Ok? And I do not...I do not want to hunt anyone anymore. Wait, why are you wearing that?
Jen: It's busy. Liz needed me to help out.
Larry: Oh, my God, Jen, this is fate! Kismet! I mean, this is where we belong.
Jen: Where?
Larry: Here. In Roswell. I can...I can pursue my passion right here where it all started, yes. Listen, we can settle down...OK, we can get a little place, you know...we don't have to travel...I am ready. Jen, I am...I am ready...to marry you.
Jen: Oh, my God...Larry...oh, my God...
(Valenti is driving to Bitter Lake with a grim look on his face)
(Scene switches back to Max and Hubble at the deserted Peppers Cafe)
Hubble: She never did get my surprise. And I never did get hers. Not until I got a copy of the coroner's report. There it was in black ink. 3 months pregnant. A little girl, it said. She was carrying our child. Surprise.
Max: I'm sorry.
Hubble: And so am I. 4 innocent people lost their lives startin' that day. My wife, my baby...that drifter, and, uh...and me. d*ad man walking. That's what I felt all those years. Only thing kept me alive was you.
Max: Me? But...but I don't know you.
(Hubble pulls out a g*n and points it at Max)
Hubble: I know you.
Max: Whoa, mister, you are making a big mistake.
Hubble: I know how you can change your face, your body...you're a shape-shifter because you're always running. You changed yourself into that drifter when you k*lled my Sheila trying to get our car. What were you running from then? Somebody else find out your little secret?
Max: Sir, I know you're upset...but I did not k*ll your wife. I wouldn't k*ll anybody.
Hubble: Valenti told me about the healing, about the handprint...just like on Sheila.
Max: I am not him. Whoever you think I am, I swear I am not him.
Hubble: I know who you really are, what you're capable of, and I won't let you k*ll again.
Michael: Hey!
(Michael's sudden appearance startles Hubble long enough for Max to knock the g*n away from him. Max and Hubble struggle in the dirt. Hubble is trying to reach his g*n and Max is trying to prevent him. Max uses his power to push the g*n away just as headlights appear from Valenti's car)
Hubble: I knew it was you, you bastard!
Sheriff: Drop the g*n! Drop it!
Hubble: It's him!
Sheriff: Drop it!
Hubble: I just saw it! I was right!
Sheriff: You saw what?
Hubble: His powers! Don't you see who he is? We have to stop him.
Max: I don't know what he's talking about.
Hubble: Liar!
Sheriff: Drop it, Hub.
Hubble: This son of a bitch is gonna die today, and nothing's gonna stop me, so go ahead! Unload every b*llet in your chamber.
Sheriff: It only takes one.
Hubble: Your father couldn't do it...and neither can you.
(Hubble gets ready to sh**t Max and Valenti sh**t one round into Hubble, which causes him to slump to the ground)
Sheriff: I didn't know this was gonna happen. I didn't know he was as dangerous as he was.
Max: What did you tell him? Why did he come after me? You're the Sheriff. You're supposed to protect me. But all you've done is go after me! You believe all these crazy things. You're just like Hubble. You want me? Well, here I am! Take me.
Michael: Max, come on, just relax.
Max: No, no!
Sheriff: Son...
Max: Would you treat your son this way?
Sheriff: Get outta here. The both of you. You were never here. Go on!
Michael: Come on, let's go. The guy was crazy, Max, all right? He didn't know what he was talking about.
Max: I don't think he was crazy, Michael. I think the one we've been looking for has k*lled people...a lot of people.
Valenti: This is Sheriff Valenti. I've been involved in a code 4. I got one man down. My 10-20 is the abandoned Peppers Cafe at Bitter Lake.
(Scene fades out with Valenti calling for backup as he stands over the crumpled body of Everett Hubble) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x12 - The Convention"} | foreverdreaming |
"Blind Date"
Episode: 14
14th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA13
Written by: Thania St. John
Original Air Date: Wednesday February 9, 2000
(Episode opens at the Crashdown where Alex is playing his guitar)
Alex: Oh, man, am I gonna kick some ass at these auditions.
Liz: Do they sound this good plugged in?
Alex: Oh, just you wait, little ladies, until you see my band open up at the, you know, the blind date concert this Friday.
Liz: You know, you need a better name.
Alex: Oh, come on. What's wrong with "the Whits"?
Maria: Just an "s" away from what you really are.
Alex: That's funny.
Radio: Goin' north on downtown main street, headed with my entourage...
Alex: Ooh! Shush.
Radio: Toward the winner of the KROZ blind dream date. An evening of fantasy and romance for one lucky listener that ends in the most exciting concert of the year. An intimate club date with a surprise mystery band that'll put this town on the map for more than just the crash.
Liz: No, this is so stupid. Like anyone would want to go out with someone a radio station picks out for you.
Maria: No, I thought it was romantic.
Liz: You would.
Radio: Right here at one of our finer local establishments, the Crashdown Cafe! Looking for our new Queen of Hearts, Miss Liz Parker.
Maria: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God, you won!
Liz: No, I didn't even enter, Maria.
Maria: I entered for us. This is so exciting.
DJ: Congratulations, Liz Parker, your life is about to change because we're gonna find you that dream man you've been searching for. Hey, what's running through your mind right now, Liz?
Liz: Oh, um...heh...yeah...yeah, nothing I can say on live radio.
(Opening credits)
(At school, Maria is walking through a hallway with Liz, who is dressed as inconspicuously as she possibly can)
Liz: Ok, maybe nobody's even heard about it.
Maria: I don't know what the problem is. This could be big, Liz. Your dream guy. Tailor made. The human version.
Liz: Ok, embarrassing, humiliating, mortifying. I don't know. Choose your SAT word. I'm not forgiving you for a very, very long time.
Maria: What is wrong with a normal date with a normal guy for once? Look, it's not like Max has changed his mind or anything. He dumped you. Think about it. That's all I'm saying.
Liz: Oh, hey, Alex!
Alex: Oh, hey, what's up?
Maria: You lost the singer to your band?
Liz: What happened to Wendy Lavely?
Alex: Uh, she got mono from Peter Gulla.
Maria: Ew. She's lucky that's all she got.
Alex: Yeah. Oh...oh, we...we...we have to find somebody before these auditions tomorrow, otherwise we're screwed.
Maria: Alex, Alex begging is so unbecoming.
Alex: What?
Maria: I'll do it, I'll do it. Anyway, I'm so much better than that prima donna. So, when should we rehearse?
Alex: No, no. We're really looking for somebody. With...with...with professional experience, so...
Maria: Excuse me, wednesday nights at the Pizza Pan. Will you tell him?
Liz: Oh, yeah. She is so good at karaoke.
Alex: But, um, maybe, but we play real music.
Maria: Oh. So, I'm not good enough for you, is what...
Alex: Oh, no. No, I'm...I'm sure you're very good at the karaoke, but...
Maria: Just...not for you?
Alex: All right. Just stop by the garage this afternoon, ok?
Maria: Great. I'll see you at 4:00 and I'll bring my charts.
Alex: Yeah, your charts.
Groupie 1: There she is!
Groupie 2: This is so incredible!
Groupie 3: I can't believe you got picked for the blind date.
Kyle: Evans. I know your pain, man.
Max: I'm just fine, Kyle.
Kyle: I was in denial in the beginning, too. I mean...one minute she's telling me I'm the only one. Next, she's making goo-goo eyes at you. I can't deny it hurt. All break-ups do, huh?
Max: We didn't break up, kyle.
Kyle: Max, Max, Max, don't...don't lie to yourself like this.
Max: We didn't break up because we were never together.
Kyle: Whoa, she really did a number on you, didn't she? But I've come to realize that's her pattern. Her M.O. She's a man-eater. And I pity the fool that radio station fixes her up with, because...she's gonna fall in love, and then the hunger begins all over again. See ya.
(Maria stops by Alex's garage)
Maria: Wow. That wasn't bad! Wow. The tempo kinda lagged there in the end. And I would definitely turn the reverb down on the bass, but...not bad!
Chris: Who the hell is she?
Alex: Guys, Maria. Maria, the guys. Nicky on lead guitar,
Maria: Hi.
Alex: Chris on drums, Markos on rhythm.
Maria: Here you go. Yeah. These are, uh, my songs.
Nicky: Oh, we...we do our own stuff.
Maria: Well...I mean, you guys wanna win this thing, right? And who is judging it? A radio station. And what songs do radio stations like, they like the famous songs. You know, the songs they play over and over and over again.
Alex: These...these are...these are pop songs. We're...we're sort of an alternative to that.
Maria: Well, you're not the alternative they're gonna choose.
Markos: We don't even know if you can sing.
Maria: Gimme an E-flat.
Markos: Whoa.
(Michael is discussing Nasedo with Max and Isabel at the Crashdown)
Michael: All right, look. We know the cave painting is a map.
Max: Michael, we don't know anything.
Michael: I feel it, ok? I mean, it was clear in my hallucination.
Max: Hallucination would be the key word there.
Isabel: Let him talk, Max. What's wrong with you today?
Max: Why would you invest yourself in something that you know isn't going to work out?
Michael: Don't bring your personal problems into this, Maxwell. It's too important.
Max: I'm talking about the search you're on. Trying to find someone who could possibly hurt us if we ever find them.
Michael: The 4th alien is not a k*ller. He's one of us.
Max: You heard Hubble tell us about the other victims. About the handprints...
Michael: No, I heard a crazy man. Tell him. Tell him we gotta find this guy.
(Michael looks at Isabel hoping to get some support from her, but she doesn't say anything)
Michael: Fine. Both of you sit here with your cherry colas and your high school fantasies. I'm going to find him.
Isabel: You can't treat him that way, Max.
Max: What am I supposed to do? Encourage him to track down a m*rder?
Isabel: We don't know what is and isn't true, yet. Michael needs his hope. It's the only thing that keeps him going.
Max: What about you?
Isabel: You know, I don't know who I'd be if I had spent the last 50 years on my own. If you were Nasedo, wouldn't you want us to at least hear you out?
Max: It's a mistake, Isabel.
Isabel: Maybe. You're never gonna convince him of that without some proof.
(Isabel leaves)
DJ: And now it's time for us to check in with our Valentine's Day dreamgirl. We're comin' to you live from the Crashdown Cafe where it's blind date quiz time with Roswell's most eligible bachelorette, Liz Parker!
Maria: Oh, my God, you're on. Ok, hold on a second.
Liz: No, no, Maria.
Maria: Hmm?
Liz: It's radio. Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this.
DJ: And may I just say to our listeners, that they are missing a sweet soda shop treat by not being here to see what a knockout you really are, Liz. Even with the antennas.
Liz: Thank you.
DJ: You mean to tell me you don't already have a boyfriend?
Liz: Um...no, not right now.
DJ: Well, whoever let you get away is gonna be kickin' himself when you're out with your dream date on Friday night. Now answer some questions for me now, Liz. Do you like blondes or brunettes?
Liz: Uh, brunettes.
DJ: Ok. Home town boys or out-of-towners?
Liz: Well, um...home town boys are ok, but...
DJ: I hear the sound of broken hearts all over Roswell. Brainiac or class clown?
Liz: Yeah, I'm not into clowns.
DJ: Open books or challenges?
Liz: Yeah, I guess I'm always up for a challenge.
DJ: It sounds like we've gotta find you a serious, dark-haired, mystery man from an exotic place by Friday night! Is Liz Parker's Mr. Right listening out there?
(Alex's band is auditioning to the promoters)
Alex: So what'd you think?
Promoter 2: What was that one called again?
Alex: Love Kills.
Promoter 1: Wasn't that the first one you played?
Alex: No, that was Hurt by Love.
Promoter 1: No vocalist, huh? Just you guys?
Alex: Well, I mean, we're waiting for her. I mean, she should be here any second now. Why don't we go through another one until she gets here?
Promoter 2: Yeah, well, we have 2 other bands to see by 5:00.
Maria: I'm here! I'm here! I'm so sorry, Liz was getting interviewed. Oh, my God, you guys waited. Thank you so much. I'm...I'm Maria De Luca. This is my band. Um...ooh, hold on...
Promoter 2: I think she's cute.
Alex: Well, well look, this is my band, ok?
Maria: Look, Alex, all right? It's all...it's all about personality, ok? And, you just...guys just play the music, and I'll take care of the rest, ok?
Promoter 1: Ok! We've got time for one more.
Maria: Ok. Um...hey, guys...the one we did yesterday, guys?
(Maria enters from the backdoor of the Crashdown)
Maria: What are we looking at?
Liz: Oh, my God, I...I thought you were one of them.
Maria: One of who?
Liz: The serious, dark-haired mystery men from exotic locations. What am I gonna do?
Maria: You're gonna get some...some phone numbers is what you're gonna do, I mean...
Liz: Yeah but, Maria, look, this is serious, ok? This contest has completely taken over my life.
Maria: Ok, have you thought about Max today?
Liz: No, I...I haven't really had any time.
Maria: Mission accomplished. And besides, it's gonna be over after the concert tonight, ok? So...let's talk about clothes. I just spent 2 hours and $50 at the thrift shop. What do you think?
Liz: No, I thought you already had an outfit.
Maria: No, this is for the guys.
Liz: I think they like to dress themselves, Maria.
Maria: I know, that's the whole problem. They have like no style.
Alex: We have very specific style. It's called normal, not thrift shop freak. Your answering machine's fixed. It just needed to be re-set after the 100th call. There are a lot of desperate guys out there.
Maria: Alex, look, I really don't want to go on stage with you guys looking high school geeks.
Alex: We are high school geeks! And we like it like that. So, please stop trying to take control over it, ok?
Maria: Well, mm, you know, if it hadn't been for me, you guys wouldn't have gotten the gig, so...
Alex: Ok. Then you wanna know what? We'll just cancel the whole thing.
Liz: Ok, you guys, just...time out, all right? I mean, this is like your big break, you know? Opening for Smash Mouth...
Maria: Wait, the mystery band is Smash Mouth? Did the radio station tell you that?
Liz: No, no. I am so...I'm sorry, I was just guessing.
Alex: Cuz i thought it was gonna be Oasis.
Maria: Mmm, barenaked ladies. $5.00.
Liz: Oh, you guys, the point is here, why don't you guys just, I don't know, like, be yourselves? Alex, do one of Maria's songs, and then, Maria, then you do one of the band's songs. And why don't you 2 just be thankful that you're not me sitting out there, with a blind date while the entire town is, like, staring at us?
(Michael knocks on Isabel's window)
Isabel: Come in.
Michael: Hey.
Isabel: What're you doing?
Michael: I think I've figured it out. I think I can read the map. Come on, I'll show you.
Isabel: But what about the concert? Alex got us tickets.
Michael: Well, it's either the concert or discovering where we come from.
Isabel: Well, what about Max? Shouldn't we at least...
Michael: What about Max? Last I heard, he didn't seem too interested, remember?
Isabel: He's just worried, Michael. He's worried about you.
Michael: Yeah, look, the only father I need is the one out there waiting for us to find him. Let's go.
Radio: That was blink 182 on KROZ. And now, here's a little something to get you thinking those romantic thoughts. Let's dedicate it to Liz Parker, tonight's dream girl.
(Liz is dressed up, getting ready for her date, and sees Max standing outside her window)
Liz: What are you doing here, Max?
Max: I couldn't just let you find another guy. I love you, Liz. I'll always love you.
(Max moves to kiss Liz and they share a long kiss, until a car horn breaks up Liz's daydream)
Maria: Get your butt down there, girl. True love awaits.
DJ: And now the moment we've all been waiting for. Liz Parker meet your dream come true.
(Liz's date steps forward through the crowd)
DJ: Doug Shellow! Doug's a freshman at the University of New Mexico who studies ancient languages and hopes one day to be an archeologist. A job, Liz, that will take him to exotic locations all over the globe, uncovering mysterious, lost civilizations. And just look at that thick, luxurious head of brown hair. Go ahead, Liz. Come on, Liz, I know you want to! Just run your fingers through it, just once! Come on, he won't bite ya.
(Liz runs her hand through Doug's hair)
(Max is listening to the radio at home)
DJ: Oh, yeah, that's the stuff. And now it's off for a romantic dinner for 2 at Chez Pierre where we leave off and l'amour does the rest.
Kyle: Evans! Max Evans! You in there?
Max: Kyle?
Kyle: Evans, Evans! We're a little drunk.
Max: Well then, you better be quiet before the neighbors call the police.
Kyle: Boys...you listen to my friend, Max. He knows how to evade the law.
Max: What do you want?
Kyle: I thought it was time to bury the old hatchet. You know, put the past behind us? Maybe go catch a concert.
Max: I'm not interested.
Kyle: Oh, come on. You know you want to see this guy just as much as I do.
Max: You shouldn't be driving.
Kyle: You're right. We're all intoxicated. That's against the law. Guess you're gonna have to do the honors, or we'll have to spend the night right here on your lawn.
(Max grabs Kyle's keys grudgingly)
(Liz and Doug are eating at the restaurant)
Doug: My salmon's delicious. How's your filet?
Liz: Oh, it's um...really tender.
DJ: She says her steak is tender.
Liz: Would you mind passing the salt?
Doug: Sure.
DJ: But apparently not salty enough.
Liz: Thank you. Um...you know, maybe we shouldn't talk.
Doug: I understand. I'm sorry. I just wanted to have a normal date.
Liz: You did?
DJ: Uh, they're whispering already. Excellent sign.
Doug: The girls in the archaeology department are nice and all, but they're just so...serious. It's like they're on a personal quest to uncover some ancient secret 24 hours a day. Kinda takes over, you know?
Liz: Yeah, I...I know.
Doug: You're different. I like that.
Liz: Thank you. Uh...I was actually hoping...for a normal date, myself.
Doug: Well, maybe tonight's the night.
(Outside the restaurant, Kyle and Max are observing Liz and Doug's dinner)
Kyle: Love is in the air...can you smell it?
DJ: I think our new valentines, Liz and Doug, look like they're ready for dessert.
Max: You can walk to the club from here. I'll give you your keys in the morning.
Kyle: Oh, wait...wait...wait...wait. You can't...you can't leave now. You can't leave now. It's just about to get interesting.
DJ: Now usually this doesn't happen till the end of the evening, but how about letting us in on that first kiss, right now? Come on, Doug, just like we practiced.
(Doug dips Liz back and gives her a soft kiss, as Max looks on stunned)
Doug: Sorry about that. Out the back through the kitchen on 3. They'll never catch us.
DJ: Two...
DJ: Three.
Kyle: Hey! Hey! I've gotta help you out here. Try this.
Max: I don't drink.
Kyle: Just...just take a sip.
Max: I said I don't drink.
Kyle: Just one sip. One sip. What's it gonna do? k*ll you? No. No, it's gonna calm you down, man. It's gonna, just, you know...take the sting away. Just...try it. Just trust me, nothin' bad's gonna happen.
(Max takes a sip and starts to cough. He looks around and everything is blurry to him)
Kyle: Do you feel dizzy?
Max: My tongue...feels very...heavy.
Kyle: You really don't drink, do you?
Max: Never...
Kyle: You, my friend, are drunk. How much did you chug?
Max: This much...
Kyle: What a wussie!
Max: Did you just call me a wussie?
Kyle: I believe I did.
Max: Do you see that mailbox? I'll b*at you to it. On your mark...
Kyle: Mm!
Max: Go!
Kyle: It's "get..." You said--you skipped "get set!" You bastard! Max, where are you? Evans? Evans! Evans?
(Isabel and Michael take Max's jeep and drive to the library)
Isabel: I think this is as close as you've ever come to the library, Michael.
Michael: That means something, Isabel. It's right here on the map. Look. This is the constellation I saw in my dream. It's Aries, the ram.
(Isabel gives Michael a questioning look)
Michael: I looked it up. And this is the symbol Nasedo left us at the cave. If you take a map of Roswell and you position it properly when Aries is directly overhead, which is in April by the way, all the rest of these symbols take on locations. And this one's right here at the library.
Isabel: How'd you know how to do all that, Michael?
Michael: I just knew.
Isabel: I don't think we should be doing this.
Michael: Isabel, he sent us a signal. We gotta send him one back. This is how we're gonna find him.
Isabel: Yeah, but what if he's...
Michael: What if he's the k*ller? There's only one way to find out.
(Kyle runs and slowly comes to a stop, still looking around for Max)
Kyle: Evans! I know you're somewhere. You weren't that far ahead of me. Here Maxie, Maxie, Maxie!
Max: I wanna thank you, Kyle, for giving me a new outlook on things.
Kyle: How the hell did you get up there?
Max: I used the ladder.
Kyle: There is no ladder.
Max: Well, yeah, now.
Kyle: Whatever. Get down before you break your neck and everybody blames me for getting you trashed. Maybe getting you drunk wasn't such a good idea.
Max: No, no, you were right.
Kyle: I was?
Max: Yeah. All the stuff you said...about me, about Liz. I've been keeping all this stuff inside...not confronting the horrible, ugly truth of it all. I've been hiding for years, Kyle. Years. But it's time the real Max comes out.
Kyle: He wouldn't be gay, by any chance, would he?
Max: You're funny, kyle. You're really funny. No matter how much of a jackass you're being...you always know how to turn a phrase.
Kyle: You think I'm a jackass?
Max: Yeah, see? See? Secret-keeper Max would never say that to your face. But the real Max...he'll tell you everything he thinks. No inhibitions. You should try it.
Kyle: Ok, so let's be brutally honest with each other here, shall we? You and Liz are in love.
Max: No flies on you, Kyle.
Kyle: Ok, so then why aren't you together?
Max: The problem is that I'm a serious, dark-haired mystery man from an exotic place.
Kyle: But that's exactly what she wants.
Max: Women.
Kyle: Yeah. Go figure. We're a couple of big, fat losers, Evans.
Max: Well, that's a little harsh, don't you think?
Kyle: Not harsh, but true. I mean, the point is we've let ourselves sink. I mean, look at us. We're beaten.
Max: Not unless we give up.
Kyle: Well, in case you haven't noticed, we're here in the gutter while she's off smooching with dogboy.
Max: We're gonna win her back.
Kyle: We are?
Max: We're gonna show her how we feel about her and she's gonna forget all about Mr. Shallow and come back to us.
Kyle: Shellow.
Max: Come on.
Kyle: Well, how do we split her up, exactly? Every other week? Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, alternate Saturdays?
(Doug and Liz go to the Crashdown)
Doug: Ah, I think we're safe for now. This is probably the last place they'd look for us tonight.
Liz: Yeah, it's not exactly Chez Pierre.
Doug: It's perfect. This is just what I wanted to do tonight. Get to know the real you. I mean, how much more normal can you get?
Liz: I, um, I guess that's sort of a contradiction in terms. You know. Being normal in Roswell.
Doug: No wonder you entered the contest. I mean, who are you gonna find in a town like this, anyway? An alien? So, what's good here? Besides the waitresses.
Liz: Oh, um. You know, I don't...I don't want to miss the concert. My friends are playing, and I'd just really like to go see it.
Doug: Yeah, we have an hour before it starts. Besides, I wanted you all to myself.
(Alex's band are getting ready)
Nicky: The Foo Fighters. That would be awesome.
Markos: No, not a chance, man. They're too big for Roswell.
Promoter 2: There she is, our future Celine Dion.
Maria: I like to think of myself as more of an Alanis, but...
Promoter 1: Maria, this is Matt Walden from the record company, he's always scouting fresh talent.
Matt: Hey, Maria. I'm really looking forward to seeing your band.
Alex: It's my band.
Maria: Um, you've come...you've come to see us?
Matt: We'll talk after the show.
Maria: Ok.
Promoter 2: Good luck.
(Michael is pouring gasoline on some ropes that are lying on the grass outside the library)
Isabel: This is vandalism.
Michael: It's not like we can't clean it up.
Isabel: Are you sure about this?
Michael: More sure than I've ever been about anything in my life.
Isabel: I just don't want you to get hurt, Michael.
Michael: Isabel, I told you Max is wrong. Nasedo's the only one we have.
Isabel: We still have each other, isn't that enough? I'm just...I'm just afraid that you won't find what you're looking for. Or that maybe you will and you won't need Max or me anymore.
Michael: That's not possible, ok?
(Michael lights the ropes that have been soaked with gasoline and they burn in the shape of one of the symbols from the cave)
Max: It's a symbol of my love. This is where I blew it with her...so this is where I'm gonna make things right. Done.
Kyle: Nice.
Max: Thanks.
Kyle: Girls always like that meaningful stuff. I suck at that. So tell me the truth, does it really get you farther?
Max: What do you mean?
Kyle: You know...farther. All right, listen, I'll tell you if you tell me. How far did you and Liz get?
Max: We saw into each other's souls. How about you?
Kyle: Second base.
Max: Well, we can't win them all. Come on, let's go.
Kyle: Wait, wait, wait. We can't leave now.
Max: Why not?
Kyle: Well, look where we are. Liz's bedroom. It's Mecca.
(Doug is chatting with Liz as they eat in the Crashdown)
Doug: So, once I got my scores back, I knew i could pretty much apply to any archeology program I wanted. So i chose UNM. How about you? Where are you thinking about going?
Liz: Oh, somewhere fast. It's the KROZ van. They found us.
Kyle: Top drawer. Always lingerie. Dare I?
(Max sees a picture of Liz with Alex and Maria. He uses his power to put his face on Alex's body)
Kyle: The secrets of femininity, so close. Who knows what I may discover.
(Liz bursts into the room suddenly with Doug behind her)
Liz: Kyle, what are you do...Max.
Kyle: Now, Liz, before you jump to any conclusion, I think you ought to know that we are really...really drunk.
Doug: Who are these guys?
Kyle: We're the ex-es. The rejects. Actually, if you must know, we're here to win her back.
Liz: Kyle, what did you do to him?
Max: Now don't you go and tell her anything I've been talking about tonight. It's private.
Kyle: Oh, your secret's safe with me, pal.
Liz: Um, look, um, Kyle, anything that Max has told you or anything that you've seen him do tonight, is a lie. Cuz Max, um...he has this problem. He...when he's drunk he sort of has a tendency to make things up. Right, Max?
Max: But this is the first time I've ever been drunk.
Liz: Would you two just excuse us, please for one second?
Doug: No, this is supposed to be...
Kyle: This is none of your business, Shallow. And you're looking at 160 pounds of varsity greco-roman wrestler who's gonna keep it that way.
Doug: Yeah.
Kyle: Ha ha ha ha. No.
(Liz and Max go out to the roof)
Liz: Ok, Max, look, we've just got to get you somewhere safe until you sober up.
Max: I don't think that's gonna happen.
Liz: Why not?
Max: All I had was one little sip...and it's not wearing off.
Liz: Oh.
Max: You like it?
(Max makes the symbol he drew glow like a neon sign)
Kyle: I said sit down, dogboy.
Doug: Liz, what's going on out there?
Kyle: I can't hold him back much longer.
DJ: I knew it, people. Doug's already maneuvered his way into the bedroom with...another guy? This is...this is about the wackiest thing I've seen in a long time. Doug in the bedroom with another guy, while another dark-haired mystery man steals Liz away into the night. Wait a minute, what's this? Ladies and gentlemen, who is M.E., And what has he done with our dream girl?
(Maria is taking deep breaths)
Alex: What...what's your problem, Maria?
Maria: I'm just...I'm just a little nervous.
(Nicky is taking deep breaths as well)
Alex: Are you nervous, too?
Nicky: No. If you do this long enough, it kind of gives you a buzz.
(Max and Liz are running down a dark street)
Liz: Max! Max, please. We have to stop. Please, we have to stop.
Max: Let's just keep running, you and me, away from here, away from everything. I see everything so clearly now. We'll go someplace where no one knows us. As long as we're together, nothing else matters.
Liz: You're drunk. Nothing that you're saying is true.
Max: It's all true, Liz. It's how I really feel. It's all just magic when I think about you.
(Max touches a lamp post and causes the light to shine in a pattern)
Liz: Max, turn it off. Anyone can see.
Max: And when I'm not with you...I go crazy.
(Max touches a car and the car alarm goes off)
Liz: Max.
Max: When you're here...
Liz: Oh, Max. Please.
Max: You're my dream girl, Liz.
Liz: And what if I believe you tonight?
Max: Then we live happily ever after.
Liz: And then what about tomorrow...when you go back to realizing who you really are, and all of your fantasies go away.
Max: I'll still have you.
Liz: This can never be normal, Max.
(Max touches the tops of some parking meters, and they start sparkling)
Max: What's so great about normal?
(At the library, Michael and Isabel aren't successful in getting Nasedo to appear)
Isabel: We can't just leave this here.
Michael: I know. Can you...
(Isabel uses her power to get rid of the symbol b*rned on the grass)
Michael: You think I'm stupid, don't you?
Isabel: No. Not stupid.
Michael: Just forget it. He's not gonna come.
Isabel: Maybe not tonight.
Michael: No, not ever. No one ever comes for me.
Isabel: I will. Whenever you need me.
(Liz is talking on the phone, trying to order a taxi)
Liz: Yeah, hi, um, we need a taxi, please. Stay.
Max: Staying.
Liz: Oh, uh, ok, let me just look. Um, I think...I think it's Citrus, uh...
Max: Hey! Here we are! Hey, we need a ride. Over here.
(Max flags down the KROZ van)
Emcee: Put your hands together for...the Whits!
Maria: Uh, go to the feed.
Alex: What are you doing?!
Maria: I'm hyperventilating.
Alex: Wh--wh--you--you got to go back out there.
Maria: I can not go back out there. I just saw that crowd and I realized that i have never stood in front of a crowd like that. Let along sung in front of a crowd like that, Alex.
Alex: You can do this, ok?
Maria: No.
Alex: Yes, you can.
Maria: Look at this outfit. Who did I think I was in this outfit?
Alex: You just need to go back out there and just...just be yourself, ok?
Maria: Myself? I'm a waitress.
Promoter 2: The band isn't coming. The drummer got arrested for disorderly conduct at the Albuquerque airport.
Alex: It's always the drummers, isn't it?
Promoter 2: You're the only entertainment we've got.
DJ: We're back live on KROZ from the strangest blind date I've ever been on. As I enter the club with Liz Parker, her dream man, Doug Shellow, and not one, but two of her ex-boyfriends. Lyle...
Kyle: Kyle.
DJ: And Max.
Liz: I can't control either one of them. You guys have really got to help me. Please?
Max: I think you'd look better as a blonde.
Liz: Um...you know I think I just better get him home.
DJ: Well, hey, hold on there, dream girl. You're not gonna get off so easy. I mean, look at these guys. You got 'em hanging on by a string, and I think you owe it to them, and the KROZ listeners, to make a choice here and now. Will it be Doug, the dream man we chose for you...the ex-boyfriend, Lyle...
Kyle: Kyle.
DJ: Or Max, who kidnapped you, and vandalized your home? What do you have to say for yourselves, men?
Doug: I thought she just wanted a normal date.
DJ: Ok, go for it, Kyle.
Kyle: Hey, I'm just happy to be nominated...and I think I'm gonna puke.
DJ: All right. Well, convince her, Max.
(Max steps towards Liz, puts his arms around her, and gives her a long, passionate kiss. Max and Liz see flashbacks of all the great times they spent with each other)
DJ: Well, it looks like we've found our winner.
(Max seems a bit dazed, then regains his senses, and realizes where he is and what he just did. He walks off into the crowd)
Max: I'm sorry. I...I don't know what I...I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.
Maria: We have to do something.
(Liz runs after Max)
Liz: Wait, Max. Max. Did you really mean everything that you said when we were alone tonight?
Max: I don't remember. What did I say? I didn't mean to ruin your night.
Liz: You didn't.
(Maria starts singing a Phil Collins song - "In the Air Tonight")
(Nasedo leaves another "sign" for Max, Michael, and Isabel - he starts a f*re shaped in one of the alien symbols and drops a picture of the three of them into it. Scene fades out as he walks away) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x13 - Blind Date"} | foreverdreaming |
"Independence Day"
Episode: 15
15th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA14
Written by: Toni Graphia
Original Air Date: Wednesday February 16, 2000
(Maria and Liz are talking in a hallway at school)
Liz: I don't even know how to explain it, Maria, but listen. Are you listening to me?
Maria: I'm listening.
Liz: When Max kissed me, it was like, I don't know. Ok, it was like I saw things, all right? I...I could like, feel the universe...
Maria: Ok, ok, stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Liz: What?
Maria: All right. I have just the thing for you, all right? Open your mouth.
Liz: What?
Maria: Just open your mouth, ok?
Liz: Ok, fine. Oh, that...that's really gross. What is it?
Maria: What is it? It's grief relief.
Liz: What?
Maria: I got it at my mother's shop. It's this herbal remedy that shocks the body back into reality when the mind's gone into overload. Veterinarians use it to calm wild animals.
Liz: Oh, well that...that's great.
Maria: Here, you can have this, and any time you feel yourself spiraling out of control, put 4 drops under your tongue, ok?
Liz: Ok.
Maria: Now would be a good time.
(Max walks towards Liz)
Liz: Hey.
Max: Hi. What's that?
Liz: Oh, um, it...it's nothing. You know, Max, the other night, when...when we kissed, I, um...
Max: Yeah.
(Isabel walks up to Liz and Max)
Isabel: Hey. Something's up with Michael. He's acting weird.
Max: Weirder than usual?
Isabel: Yeah, no, I just saw him at the other end of the hall, and he just went the other way.
Max: Well, maybe he didn't see you.
Isabel: No, he was ignoring me. He practically ran into the bathroom. Will you just go in there and see what's going on?
Max: Right.
Isabel: Thank you.
Max: I'll see you later. Sorry.
Liz: It's ok.
(Max goes into the boys bathroom, where Michael is trying to avoid face contact with Max)
Max: Hey, Michael. You all right?
Michael: Yeah, I'm fine.
Max: 'Cause, uh, Isabel thought...
Michael: Can't a guy get some privacy?
(The class bell rings)
Max: I'll wait.
Michael: Max, just get outta here.
Max: You can't stay in there all day.
Michael: Max, I'm serious. Just leave me alone. I'll be out in a second.
Max: Fine.
(Max walks over to the door, pushes it open, and lets it close by itself. He then waits for Michael to come out of the stall and is immediately concerned when he sees Michael's black eye)
(Opening credits)
(Max and Michael are discussing Michael's black eye by some train tracks)
Max: How did it happen?
Michael: He was drunk.
Max: Hank? Has it happened before?
Michael: Couple times. This was the worst, though. Never left a mark.
Max: Michael...
Michael: Don't. I don't want you feeling sorry for me. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me.
Max: Everyone's gonna ask.
Michael: Not if it's gone. Fix it. Please. I tried, but I...
Max: And what about the next one?
Michael: There won't be a next one.
Max: Michael, you don't have to protect him. He's not even your real father.
Michael: No kidding.
(Max restores Michael's skin, taking away the black eye)
Michael: I don't want anyone else to know about this.
Max: Michael, you can't just...
Michael: Maxwell, it's between you and me.
(Maria is giving Liz some advice at the Crashdown)
Maria: You and me, Liz. We've got to stick together. All right? Hold our ground. No matter how much they try to charm us, they are like a drug, and we have to just say no.
Liz: Maria, I try and stay away, but I...I can't help myself.
(Max walks into the Crashdown and looks around for Liz)
Liz: He obviously feels the same way.
Maria: Ok. Do you remember that commercial? When the girl takes the pan and bashes up the kitchen? Ok. This is your brain on Max.
Amy: Hi, girls! I have pies.
Liz: Wow, that's a lot of pies!
Amy: Yes! I have chocolate, banana, rhubarb, strawberry, and coconut.
Sheriff: Did I hear someone say coconut? How'd you know that was my very favorite?
(Amy chuckles)
Maria: Excuse me while I go and throw up.
Amy: I only made one. Sorry.
Sheriff: That's a shame, cuz that looks awful good, and so do you, Amy.
Amy: Oh, well. I'd make you another one, but it'd probably just go to waste, considering on our last 2 outings you didn't really make it to dessert.
Sheriff: Ah. Work called.
Amy: Mmm. Yes, but see, when I make a pie for someone, I expect it to get eaten.
Sheriff: Well, how about this evening, then? I'll tell you what, Amy. If you make it, I'll eat it.
Amy: Hmm. Fine. Just remember, Jim, in this state we have a 3 strikes law now.
Sheriff: Yes, ma'am.
(Max and Isabel sit at a table and discuss Michael)
Isabel: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Max: Calm down, Isabel. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone.
Isabel: Then why did you tell me?
Max: Cuz I'm worried about him. I don't...I don't know what to do.
Isabel: Ok, Max, you can't just tell me something like that and expect me to do nothing.
(Michael comes in and overhears the last part of what Isabel says to Max)
Amy: Ooh! My favorite little wrestler!
Michael: Hey.
Max: Hey.
Isabel: Hey.
(Michael looks at Max and Isabel for awhile, his eyes probing the looks on their faces)
Michael: You told her.
(Michael gets up and starts to leave)
Isabel: Michael!
Isabel: What are you gonna do? Pretend it didn't happen? You have to do something.
Michael: Like what?
Isabel: Tell someone. Report him.
Michael: Yeah, who? Valenti? Yeah, that'd be a smart idea, wouldn't it?
Isabel: Max told me this has happened before.
Max: Look, I'm sorry, but I had to tell her.
Michael: Look, everybody's got problems. If it wasn't this, it'd be another thing. I'm a big boy. I can handle it.
Isabel: Maybe you could talk to my dad. He's a lawyer. He could help. He once told me about this...this case he had where he helped a minor get permission to live on his own.
Michael: Forget it, Iz. The last thing we need is for me to go to the courts and bring all this attention to us.
Isabel: Well, if he hurts you again, Michael...
Michael: He won't.
Isabel: You could use your powers.
Michael: I had to stop myself last night. I can't control my powers like you and Max. You guys know that. Especially in the state of mind I'm in. If I did anything, I'd probably k*ll him.
Isabel: Well, all I know is you can't go back there. So stay with us. At least until Hank calms down.
Michael: Fine, if it's gonna shut you up.
(Michael leaves)
Max: How are we gonna explain this to mom and dad?
Isabel: I'll think of something.
Max: Are you sure this is a good idea?
Isabel: Yeah. In fact, I think it would be good for Michael to be part of the family.
(At the Evans home, everyone is seated at the table for dinner. Michael starts helping himself to all the dishes, giving himself 2nds before anyone else has touched the dishes)
Isabel: Michael, we usually wait till everybody's sitting before serving ourselves.
Michael: Why?
Isabel: It's polite.
Diane: Mm-kay! Who wants some of my famous green bean delight?
Max: Mmm. Sounds good.
Diane: Michael?
Michael: Well, I really don't see any beans in here.
Diane: Oh, they're in there. They're chopped into the cream of mushroom soup.
Michael: I don't know. Looks kinda...
Isabel: It's delicious. You should try some, really.
Michael: I don't want to. Thank you.
Diane: So, Michael, how long is your father away?
Isabel: Oh, just a couple of days, actually.
Phillip: What does your dad do again, Michael?
Michael: He's not my dad. He's my foster father.
Isabel: Actually, he's in, um, marketing.
Phillip: Isabel, are you gonna let Michael answer a question?
Diane: You know, in all the years you've been friends with Max and Izzy, I don't think we've ever met him.
Michael: No great loss.
Isabel: Well, um, what Michael means is that, um...
Phillip: Why don't you let Michael tell us what he means?
Michael: I didn't mean anything.
(Liz and Maria go to Maria's house to study)
Liz: Oh, I am so wiped out. I don't know if I'm good for any studying tonight.
Maria: Here. Sugar rush. Always works for me.
Liz: Ok.
(Liz looks around and spots a half-eaten coconut pie)
Liz: Maria.
(Maria walks around and accidentally sits on Sheriff Valenti's hat)
Maria: Huh!
(Liz and Maria look around the room and hear muffled laughing)
Liz: Oh, my God!
Maria: I know, come on.
(Liz and Maria tiptoe back to the front door and open and close it)
Maria: Mom! I'm home!
(Amy appears from the bedroom looking a bit disheveled)
Amy: Hi, girls! Uh...what are you doing home so early?
Maria: It's 10:30.
Amy: Oh, my God! I must have lost track of time. Uh, you want some pie?
Maria: No, no.
Liz: No, thank you.
Maria: Um. Uh, we...we're...we're gonna go in my room and study, and you should go to sleep, cuz you've got a really big day tomorrow.
Amy: I will.
Maria: Soon?
Amy: Very.
Maria: Alone?
Amy: Of course! I'll be right there.
(Sheriff Valenti walks out and his clothes are quite ruffled)
Amy: Uh, right after I say good night to the sheriff.
Sheriff: Evening, girls.
Liz: Hi, sheriff.
(At the Evans home, everyone is playing Monopoly together)
Isabel: All right. As long as I'm back on Park Place, I think I'll buy a hotel.
Phillip: Ho, oh, you're k*lling us here, Isabel.
Max: She's ruthless. You gotta watch out for her.
Phillip: Man, oh, man!
Diane: Ok, let's regroup. Uh, it's Michael. Your turn.
(Michael rolls the dice and lands on a property owned by Mr. Evans)
Phillip: Ok. Ah! Let's see. Atlantic Avenue with 4 houses. That's 975 you owe.
Diane: Ohh! Ouch. Ouch, ouch. Wow, a lot.
Michael: How about I just catch you next time around?
Phillip: You'll catch me on the next time around?
Diane: That's a new rule.
Max: Michael, we...we usually pay on arrival.
Isabel: That's ok, I'll lend it to him.
Phillip: Oh, Isabel, no. No lending except from the bank. Uh, but he doesn't have any houses to mortgage, so...
Michael: Just rub it in, huh?
Phillip: I...I'm not trying to rub it in, Michael.
Michael: What's the big deal? Why can't she just lend me money? It's a game.
Phillip: Well, the deal is, in this house, we play by the rules.
Michael: Well, I don't want to play anymore.
(Michael gets up from the table and starts to leave)
Diane: Michael, wait.
Isabel: Michael. Michael! You didn't have to be so rude to my dad.
Michael: Rude? He was sticking it to me for no reason.
Isabel: It was a game!
Michael: He doesn't like me.
Isabel: He doesn't know you.
Michael: I don't want him to know me.
Isabel: He could help you. You just have to speak up and tell him the truth.
Michael: And what, be a poster child for domestic abuse? It's not gonna happen.
Isabel: You have to do something, Michael. Please don't just pretend it didn't happen. Please.
Michael: See ya.
(Michael walks off)
Max: He's not easy, Isabel. Never has been.
Isabel: I know that.
Max: You can't push him like that.
Isabel: He was acting like a child.
Max: Maybe. And maybe you need to stop treating him like one. He can't make up for in one night what he's never had in a lifetime.
Isabel: I'm really scared for him, Max.
(Michael goes back to Hank's trailer)
Hank: Where the hell have you been?
(Michael goes to his room and closes the door, lies down on his bed, and sighs)
(Maria's mom knocks on Maria's door and enters)
Amy: Maria. I need to ask you for some space. I can't feel like you're judging me all the time.
Maria: I'm just trying to look out for you, mom.
Amy: What are you so worried about?
Maria: I just don't want you to rush into anything.
Amy: Anything? Or Jim Valenti?
Maria: I don't trust him, okay, and I don't want him to use you. So...
Amy: What would he be using me for?
Maria: Well, for the same thing all men want.
Amy: Right. Maria, there are like 3 single guys in all of Roswell and 2 of them live in the Desert Inn retirement community. Ok? Jim is a nice guy. He has a good job, he's responsible, and he's fun.
Maria: He's a cop. And you're a hippie.
Amy: Well, opposites attract. I don't know.
Maria: The man's got a lot of baggage, mom. He's been married once.
Amy: Who hasn't been these days?
Maria: No, but he's that type, you know? That guy, that tough guy who, like, can't open up, or admit he has emotions or, you know, admit that he needs you, you know? Those are the most dangerous of them all, I promise.
Amy: Don't worry, honey. Michael will come around.
Maria: Mich...what?!? Michael, I was not...I didn't say one thing about Michael.
Amy: Sure you didn't.
Maria: I meant hypothetically.
Amy: Whatever, honey.
Maria: Just...just take it slow, all right? Once they get physical, you know, once they get what they want, they disappear.
Amy: I hope you're not talking from experience.
Maria: Just yours.
Amy: Oh.
(At Hank's trailer, Hank is arguing with Michael)
Hank: Told you to do the wash.
Michael: I'll do it later.
Hank: Today.
Michael: I'm not your maid.
Hank: Oh, you're right. You're good for nothing. Do the wash now.
Michael: Go to hell, Hank.
Hank: No wonder your parents left you out in the desert. Who'd want ya?
Michael: Who are you, father of the year? You're a man who keeps me around just to collect the monthly check!
(Max enters the trailer followed closely by Isabel)
Michael: What are you guys doing here?
Isabel: We heard some yelling.
Max: What's going on?
Michael: Just get out, all right?
Hank: Well, hello, dolly.
Michael: Shut up, Hank.
Hank: Yeah. Wanna have a drink with me?
Michael: She doesn't want a drink.
Hank: Who the hell are you, her lawyer?
Michael: Leave her alone, Hank, all right?
Hank: I asked her a question. I'm waiting for her answer.
Isabel: Here's your answer.
(Isabel throws Hank's drink all over him)
Isabel: If you ever touch Michael again, I will k*ll you!
(Hank grabs his g*n and points it at Max)
Hank: You're gonna k*ll me? I don't think so!
Max: Just take it easy. We're going.
(Michael steps towards Hank and unleashes his power towards Hank. A chair moves across the room and slams into a wall, shattering it to pieces. The refrigerator doors open and close. Hank's g*n starts to have a mind of its own, pointing in different directions and discharges)
Hank: What the hell?!? Oh, you little bastard. You're a freak. I always knew it. You're a freak!
Max: Michael, let's go.
Isabel: Michael, we have to go. Now! Michael!
(Max, Isabel, and Michael run off, leaving Hank dazed)
Michael: Congratulations, you made it worse. Now he knows.
Isabel: Michael, Hank was so drunk, he's not gonna know what he saw and he sure as hell isn't gonna remember it in the morning.
Michael: Isabel, I can't go back there.
Isabel: Good.
Michael: You just don't get it, do you? I know Hank's a jerk, but that's the only thing I had, and now you guys screwed that up for good.
Max: Look, just come back with us for now.
Michael: Max, for how long? I mean, 2 days, 3 days...what's that gonna do? I...
Max: We'll figure something out.
Michael: Max, I don't belong there. I don't belong there, I don't belong here, I don't belong anywhere.
Isabel: Michael, we understand why...
Michael: No, you don't. Isabel, you don't understand.
Isabel: So you got a raw deal, no one's saying that you didn't. But, God, Michael, you finally have a chance to change it. Would it k*ll you to ask for help, just once in your life?
Michael: Yeah, you know what? It would.
Max: Where are you going?
Michael: Doesn't matter.
Isabel: Michael, wait.
(Maria is combing her hair. She goes to the window and looks outside and sees Michael standing in the rain. She thinks she's probably hallucinating so she takes some "grief relief", looks up, and sees Michael still standing there. Michael walks over to her window)
Maria: What are you doing out there? No, you can't come in. No. I know why you're here. All right, I know what your plan is, I know what you want, but it's not gonna work this time, mister, ok, no matter what you say. My answer is no. No, no, no, no, no.
(Maria has let Michael come in and he is dripping wet and shivering)
Maria: God, you could get pneumonia. Here, take your shirt off. Hold on. You're shivering.
(Maria wipes away a tear from Michael's cheeks)
Maria: Come here. Shh, it's ok. You don't have to tell me, it's ok.
(Michael starts to cry as Maria hugs him closely)
(It's morning, and Maria's mom is waking Maria up so she won't be late for school)
Amy: Oh, Maria, honey, you're gonna be late.
(Maria's mom suddenly panics when she sees Maria sleeping with Michael)
Amy: Oh, my God!
Maria: Oh! Mom...
(Maria's mom stops bopping Michael on the head)
Amy: Get out! Get out of this bed! Out of this bed! Out!
Michael: Take it easy.
Amy: Get outta my house!
(Michael makes a quick exit)
Maria: Wait! Mom! Mom! Mom...
Amy: Maria! Kitchen, now!
(Maria is sitting on a chair and her mom is pacing around the kitchen)
Amy: My baby girl's having sex.
Maria: I am not having sex.
Amy: Then what exactly did you do?
Maria: Nothing. We just slept.
Amy: Yeah. I know that one. I've used that one.
Maria: You act like I have no self-control.
Amy: Oh, yes, because teenagers are known for self-control. Especially teenage boys.
Maria: Michael is not like that, ok? Well, sometimes he is, but...
Amy: What?!?
Maria: But not last night, all right? He was upset about something. I don't know what he was upset about, but sex was like the last thing on his mind.
Amy: Oh, thank you. There is a God.
Maria: That's why I let him stay.
Amy: Oh, yeah, and what exactly were you thinking letting him stay here, young lady? And besides, why is it ok for you and not ok for me?
Maria: I'm 16...
Amy: Yes, you are 16-years-old, and no 16-year-old daughter of mine is gonna have sleep-overs with boys, got that?
Maria: Whatever.
Amy: No, not "whatever". Maria, as you so subtly pointed out last night, my history with men has pretty much been a train wreck. And I don't want you to make the same mistakes. Now, I can't go back and change my life, but I will be damned if I watch yours go down the same way. I love you too much.
(In class, an exam is going on. Someone knocks on the door asking for Michael)
Teacher: Michael.
(Michael gets up and leaves with the man)
(Michael is sitting in Sheriff Valenti's office)
Sheriff: Neighbors heard g*n.
Michael: I don't know anything about that.
Sheriff: But you were there last night?
Michael: Went home to get some stuff.
Sheriff: What time was that?
Michael: Um...does it matter?
Sheriff: You were the last person to see him.
Michael: What do you mean, I was "the last person to see him"?
Sheriff: I called the plant. He never showed up for work.
Michael: Maybe he's passed out somewhere. I don't keep track of him.
Sheriff: Neighbors also said they heard an argument. And then, later, more sounds. Screaming. Crying. Tortured sounds, like an animal. Almost inhuman, they said.
Michael: What are you talking about?
Sheriff: Where were you, son?
Michael: Out.
(Liz and Maria are talking at the Crashdown)
Liz: You know, what you said really made sense, and I've been sticking to it. And you would be so proud of me. I mean, just last night even, I said it really clearly. No. Of course, Max wasn't there...but when he is there, I'll be ready for him. Are you even listening to me?
Maria: Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
Liz: What's wrong?
Maria: Oh...well...
(Isabel walks into the Crashdown)
Isabel: Have you guys seen Michael?
Maria: Maybe.
Isabel: Come on, Maria, you have to tell me. It's really important.
Maria: Well, if it's that important, then you tell me. I'm worried about him, too.
Isabel: I can't.
Maria: Ditto.
Isabel: All right. Michael's in trouble.
Liz: What...what kind of trouble?
Isabel: It's Hank. He's, um...he's been hurting him, and Max and I are trying to help.
Maria: Oh, my God, Isabel.
Isabel: Michael made us promise not to say anything.
Maria: He was with me last night. All night.
Liz: What? He spent the night, Maria? What happened to "no"?
Maria: He never told me what was wrong. We just slept. And then...in the morning, my mom came in, and he took off, and I haven't seen him since.
(Max walks in and walks up to Isabel)
Max: Valenti's got Michael.
Isabel: Why?
Max: Hank's gone, and they think he had something to do with it.
(Maria is waiting for her mom as she comes home singing a song)
Amy: And she said...
Maria: Hi. Um, you know the boy that I slept-but-didn't-sleep with?
Amy: Unfortunately, the shock has indelibly printed his face on my brain.
Maria: He's in jail.
Amy: Oh, this just gets better and better, doesn't it?
Maria: He didn't do anything, ok? Your good friend, Sheriff Valenti, is holding him because he can't explain his whereabouts last night. And personally, I think it was very noble of him to protect my dignity.
Amy: Oh, yeah. How very Bonnie and Clyde of him.
Maria: Anyway, since the Sheriff seems to like you so much, I thought maybe you could tell him where Michael really was.
Amy: Well, I could.
Maria: Mom, I know maybe he didn't make the best impression on you this morning...
Amy: No, Maria, this has nothing to do with him. This is about you and me. I need to be able to trust you.
Maria: Then trust me. I swear to you, he's a good guy, and he's in trouble. I wouldn't ask you otherwise.
(At the Sheriff station, Maria's mom has explained what happend to the Sheriff and he lets Michael go)
Amy: Wait for me outside.
(Amy turns to the Sheriff as Michael and Maria walk out)
Amy: I appreciate you doing this.
Sheriff: No problem.
Amy: I'm telling you the truth, Jim.
Sheriff: Well, if you say he was at your house, then he was at your house.
Amy: But you wouldn't have believed Maria?
Sheriff: Well, she's 16. She'll say anything to protect her boyfriend.
Amy: But she's not just any 16-year-old...she's my daughter.
Sheriff: Amy, I'm just doing my job.
Amy: Yeah, but it seems that your job keeps coming between us.
Sheriff: Where's this coming from?
Amy: I like you, Jim...you know I do. But Maria's at that stage now, and you know that stage.
Sheriff: That I do.
Amy: And I...I have to keep an eye on things. I can't get distracted, and you're a distraction.
Sheriff: Well, then, don't give me up.
(Michael meets up with Max and Isabel)
Max: So, everything's ok?
Michael: Oh, yeah, great.
Isabel: Michael, about Hank being missing, you didn't...you didn't do anything to him, did you?
Michael: No. What...you thought...
Isabel: No no.
Max: So, what did Valenti say?
Michael: Well, he said he was gonna find me a new foster situation. Not a home. Situation.
Max: I'm sure he meant...
Michael: No matter what home I get, it's a substitute for the real one.
Max: Michael, you can't just run away.
Michael: Watch me.
Isabel: Where are you supposed to go?
Michael: Anywhere but here. You two can stay in your nice little world with your pot roast and your monopoly games, cuz it's pretty clear to me you're not interested in finding our real home. But I'm going to. I'm gonna find Nasedo. He's my family.
Isabel: And what are we? You want to know what I think, Michael? I think it's time you either put up or shut up.
Michael: Very poetic, Isabel.
Isabel: You act like a 5-year-old. When are you going to grow up and stop blaming everybody else?
Michael: Is that what you think, Max?
Max: I think it's not safe out there. I think Nasedo is dangerous, Michael.
Michael: You don't know that.
Max: You heard what Hubble said. He's a k*ller, a shape-shifter, and he's out there. He could be anyone. Now, we need to stick together now more than ever.
Michael: You're wrong, Max.
Isabel: Go on and run, Michael, it's what you do best.
(Liz is watching the stars with her telescope on her roof when Max stops by)
Max: Liz, I'm sorry. I...
Liz: No. It's ok.
Max: I know we've been needing to talk.
Liz: Yeah, there's...there's some more important things to talk about though, and...I heard about Michael. Are you ok?
Max: Not really. I've just never seen him so upset. I have this weird feeling that...he's just gonna leave without even saying goodbye.
Liz: You know, maybe, because if he did...he wouldn't be able to go through with it.
Max: I can't lose him.
(Isabel is in her room rummaging through Nasedo's stones)
Isabel: I thought I locked that door.
Max: Uh, yeah. Yeah, you did. What're you doing?
Isabel: You see this? This is all I know about who we are. These stones that River Dog gave us at the cave when Michael was sick. They're the only thing we have from the place we came from. It was the first time I realized we had a home somewhere...a real place. They don't mean anything...not without Michael.
(Max goes to the trailer park in search of Michael and walks in on him as he's packing)
Max: Packing?
Michael: You could call it that. Everything I have fits in this bag.
Max: You have me. You have Isabel.
Michael: Say goodbye, Max.
Max: I can't.
Michael: We'll keep in touch, all right?
Max: It's not good enough.
Michael: Well, it's gonna have to be, all right? So say goodbye.
Max: I can't.
Michael: Max...
Max: I know what you're scared of, Michael.
Michael: No, you don't.
Max: You keep telling me how lucky I am...to have a great home, great parents. But in one way, it's harder for me, because when I screw up, I have no excuses. But you, you can do and say anything you want because you have Hank, and you can blame it on that. But what happens without him? It'll all be on you, that's what.
Michael: Well, leave it up to me to still screw it up, huh?
Max: It's ok, Michael, because if you do, we'll all still be there for you. Maybe you have to start thinking about someone other than yourself, Michael. The 3 of us belong together. There's a reason that we're together. We're family. So, go if you want to, but no matter where or how far, we will always be connected. Isabel and I wanted you to have this. It means nothing without you.
Michael: See ya.
(Michael takes off)
(Michael is at the side of the road trying to hitch a ride and a guy driving a pickup truck finally stops for him)
Driver: What a joke.
Michael: Huh?
Driver: Roswell. Wouldn't bother, but it's on my southwest route. Sell a lot of soda in these tourist towns.
Michael: Yeah, right.
Driver: I don't know why in the hell they come here. Aliens, I guess.
(Michael opens the pouch that Max and Isabel gave him and the stones fall into his open hand. He moves them around in his hand for a little while, thinking of their significance)
Trucker: Ain't no aliens in that town. Let me ask you something. If you were an alien, you can go anywhere in the world, would you pick Roswell?
Trucker: Trust me, there ain't nothing in that town.
(Michael starts seeing the flashbacks that he saw during the balance ceremony, of him and Max and Isabel together)
(It's morning in the Evans household and Isabel comes down to the kitchen to find Michael making breakfast)
Isabel: What are you doing?
Michael: Making an omelette. What does it look like?
Isabel: I didn't know you could cook.
Michael: Yeah, well, uh, there's a lot you don't know about me.
Isabel: Yeah. You're full of surprises.
Michael: Yup.
Isabel: Thanks.
(Mr. Evans comes into the kitchen)
Michael: Good morning.
Phillip: Hello, Michael.
Michael: I thought I'd cook breakfast for the family.
(Mrs. Evans comes into the kitchen)
Diane: Ah. Well, well...what's going on here?
Phillip: Uh, Michael is making breakfast for everyone.
Diane: Hmm. Looks good.
Michael: Uh, there's another thing, sir...
Phillip: Yeah?
Michael: Uh...I was wondering if you could help me. Uh, I wanna...I wanna find a way to live on my own, and I was told that it could be done.
Phillip: It's complicated. You'd have to file a petition for emancipation...go before a judge.
Michael: You know, I'll do whatever it takes. I've thought about it, and I want to take control of things. And I think I'm ready to do that now, so...
Phillip: Why don't you come by my office this afternoon and we'll talk. I'd like to know more about your situation.
Michael: Yeah, this afternoon then.
(Max and Isabel are standing in a judge's inner chambers, looking on as Michael and Mr. Evans present a petition for emancipation to the judge)
Judge: And does the minor, Michael Guerin, pledge to take charge of his life as an adult from here forward?
Michael: I do, your honor.
Judge: And do you understand that you will be solely responsible for your financial, educational, and medical decisions as they may arise?
Michael: I do, sir.
Judge: And I might add, young man, that you are fortunate in having these folks here today...who have an interest in your future...and have shown a confidence in you that is reflected in my decision. I hope you can live up to that faith.
Michael: I'll try, your honor.
Judge: I hereby grant your petition for emancipation.
(At the Sheriff station, Hank walks into the Sheriff's office)
Hank: Heh heh heh. I heard you put out an APB?
Sheriff: You heard right.
Hank: Heh heh heh heh. Here I am.
Sheriff: In all your glory.
Hank: So, you can call off the hounds.
Sheriff: Where you been, Hank?
Hank: Down in Carlsbad. Landed in a bar. Met a lady. What can I say?
Sheriff: You wanna tell me about the g*n?
Hank: Oh, uh, well...never clean a g*n while you've been drinking.
Sheriff: Uh-huh.
Hank: Anyway, got an offer from a plant over in Las Cruzes. My lease is up next week, so...I'm hitchin' up the trailer and I'm gone. Thing is, I'm goin' alone...so if I need to sign some papers about that boy, or anything...
Sheriff: Won't be necessary.
Hank: Oh?
Sheriff: And Hank...make it soon.
Hank: Aw, don't worry, Sheriff. I'm already gone.
(We see Hank driving at night. He drives up to a tree and walks behind to the trunk. There, we see the real Hank who has been d*ad for some time. Nasedo drags out Hank's body and buries it. He then goes back into the car and he uses his power to shapeshift into someone else. He eats some pills, and the scene fades out as he drives off into the night) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x14 - Independance Day"} | foreverdreaming |
"Sexual Healing"
Episode: 16
16th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA15
Written by: Jan Oxenberg
Original Air Date: Wednesday March 11, 2000
(Episode begins with a sh*t of a spot in the desert 2 miles from the crash site. Something is beeping)
(Switch to girls locker room at West Roswell High, where Liz is fantasizing about Max meeting her there)
Voice-Over: It's February 20th. I'm Liz Parker, and lately I've been having these feelings, like I'm changing inside, and part of me doesn't want to change. Part of me always wants to be my mom's little girl. But the thing is, these feelings are strong...dangerous, undeniable. It's like I have no choice. It's like...chemical.
(Scene shifts to the Crashdown where Liz has been sitting on a stool daydreaming about Max)
Maria: Liz, nice strawberries.
(Liz breaks out of her daydream and knocks over a basket of strawberries)
Maria: Are you ok?
Liz: Yeah, I'm...I'm fine.
(Max walks into the Crashdown in search of Liz)
Maria: You have a visitor. Mmm. Sweet.
(Maria walks by Max and gives him a strawberry)
Max: Hey.
Liz: Hey.
Max: I hope this isn't my fault.
Liz: Why would this be your fault?
Max: If I startled you.
Liz: No. You know, I always knock over strawberries this time of day. Always. I'm just gonna go get more berries from...
Max: Well, wait. Here's another one.
(Liz goes into the kitchen area and Max follows her)
Liz: What are you doin' here, Max?
Max: Well, I have orders from my planet to take over the Earth.
Liz: Besides that.
Max: I want to make sure we can still be friends.
Liz: Yeah. I mean, we are.
Max: Good.
Liz: Why wouldn't we be?
Max: We really haven't been able to talk since...that night.
Liz: Max, people do a lot of dumb things when they're drunk. Anyway, I understand.
Max: And we're friends?
Liz: Yeah. We're friends.
Max: Just friends?
Liz: Yeah. We're just friends.
(Liz turns around and starts to leave and Max grabs her and they start making out. As Liz becomes overwhelmed with emotion, she sees images of something flying through space)
(Opening credits)
Maria: Liz, you did not look normal.
Liz: I didn't feel normal, Maria. I...it was the most amazing, incredible...
Maria: Unbelievable, awe-inspiring...
Liz: No, Maria. This was different.
Maria: Different how?
Liz: Um...like beyond.
Maria: Wait.
Liz: What?
Maria: You guys didn't go...beyond?
Liz: No no no.
Maria: Gonna say...you were only out for 5 minutes.
Liz: I know. Listen, Maria, if I...when...when...when I actually do it, it is not gonna be in between a plate of Kielbasa and a deep fryer.
Maria: Hmm.
Liz: I saw things, Maria. Did you see things when you and Michael kissed?
Maria: What exactly did you see?
Liz: Stars.
(At school, Alex and Maria are walking down a hallway)
Maria: I have never seen her like this.
Alex: So this was like the kiss of the millennium?
Maria: Alex, if they actually do it, she'll probably explode.
Alex: Or maybe she'll explode if they don't do it.
(Max and Michael are also walking through a hallway at school)
Max: Did anything like that ever happen to Maria when you two...
Michael: No. Maxwell, let me assure you, you have not experienced anything I have not experienced many times or caused to be experienced.
Max: Then how can you call yourself my friend?
Michael: What?
Max: A friend wouldn't have kept something like that to himself.
(Max enters Astronomy class and his face lights up as he looks at Liz and sits next to her)
Astro Teacher: Ok, people. Hydrogen, oxygen, carbon. Created in the millisecond after the Big Bang. These simple molecules are the basis of all possible life forms in the universe, present and unaccounted for...or, so we think. The conceit that alien life forms would be like us in any essential way would be, uh, the wishful thinking of a lonely planet that once believed it was the center of the universe. So, we're going to combine hydrogen, liquid oxygen, and carbon today. Obviously, I don't expect any of you to create life here in third period science.
(As Mr. Seligman, the astro teacher, talks about science, Max and Liz flirt with each other. Liz mouths a "hello" to Max, who responds with a "hi". Max writes something on a slip of paper and passes it to Liz. Liz drops her pencil, and Max kneels down to pick it up. He touches Liz's hand and Liz starts to get a flood of images of something travelling through space. Liz starts to moan with all the feelings she's experiencing, which disrupts the class)
Liz: Ahh! Ohh!
Astro Teacher: Ms. Parker! Have you had an insight you wish to share with the rest of the class?
Liz: No.
(Max stands up, looking a bit guilty)
Astro Teacher: Mr. Evans?
Max: I was just returning her pencil.
Astro Teacher: I'd like to see both of you immediately after last period today in my classroom. The primordial experience known as...detention.
(Liz opens the slip of paper that Max had written a message on and reads the message: "Eraser Room? 6th Period?")
(Maria is walking around looking for Michael and finds him in the bleachers)
Maria: Oh, Michael. Hi.
Michael: Hey.
Maria: Did you hear?
Michael: The Max-Liz thing, with the flashes? She's your friend. What do you think?
Maria: That Max and Liz have discovered some new sensation? It seems somewhat unlikely.
Michael: Extremely unlikely.
(Cut to a scene where Maria and Michael are making out nearby a high-voltage box)
Maria: This feels good. This feels really good.
Michael: Yeah.
Maria: Oh, God. Oh, my God. Michael.
Michael: What?
Maria: I can't believe it.
Michael: What? What did you see?
Maria: I saw...a cluster of stars...like sh**ting through space. Um...this, like, incredible sunset, like near the rings of Saturn. Did you see anything?
Michael: Yeah, I saw you...as a little girl...trying to tie her shoelaces on her red sneakers.
Maria: You're kidding. The red sneakers?
(Max and Liz are making out in the eraser room again. Max sees an image of Liz as a little girl trying on makeup and dressing up in front of a mirror)
Liz: What?
Max: Nothing.
Liz: Ahh! Max, hold me.
(Liz sees the image of the saucer flying towards Earth and crashing into the desert)
(Max and Liz are making too much noise, causing someone to investigate)
(The principal is talking to Mrs. Evans and Mrs. Parker about the commotion that Max and Liz caused, while Max and Liz sit on a bench outside the principal's office)
Nancy: What exactly is an eraser room?
Principal: It's a small room that we use to clean the erasers so that chalk dust doesn't fly all over the school.
Diane: Wait. I'm a little lost. You mean Liz and Max were cleaning erasers when they created this disturbance?
Principal: No. They were what we used to call "making out". We're talking sexual activity here, not erasers. Why don't we go talk to them?
(The principal and the parents step outside the principal's office to the hallway)
Principal: Uh, Ms. Parker. Mr. Evans.
Liz: This...is completely wrong.
Nancy: What did I get wrong, Liz?
Liz: Well, It...it's just wrong that we're here. I mean, any of us.
Principal: Well, then, perhaps you and Mr. Evans should have been less noisy.
Nancy: You know, I think I've heard enough.
Liz: Mom, this is not what you're thinking right now. Don't you believe me?
Nancy: What is it?
Liz: Mom, it's just a mix-up.
Principal: They also cut 2 academic classes. Now, Liz and Max are honor students. I think we'd all like to keep it that way.
Diane: I'm sure there's an explanation for it. I'm certain that Max wouldn't miss any of his classes unless there was a good reason. Max?
(Max is at a loss for words)
(Liz and her mom are walking towards the school entrance)
Liz: Mom, this is no big deal, all right?
Nancy: You said that.
Liz: Mom, it's not like I never kissed a boy before in my entire life.
Nancy: You know, I don't think it's the kissing, but the actual volume that's the issue.
Liz: This is being totally blown out of proportion.
Nancy: Ok, we'll talk about this later tonight, ok? I want you to come straight home from school. Is that agreed? Hmm?
Liz: No, I can't. I have detention. Look, mom, I gotta go, ok?
Nancy: Ok.
Liz: Bye.
(Liz starts to head for class and runs into Alex)
Liz: Oh!
Alex: Liz, what's goin' on?
Liz: Alex, the most incredible thing is happening to me, but I...I don't even know what it is.
Alex: What?
(Alex goes to the cafeteria area and spots Isabel eating by herself. As Alex walks up to her, Isabel takes a bite out of a hot pizza and starts fanning her mouth. Alex searches through his lunch bag and gives Isabel a napkin)
Isabel: Hot!
Alex: You ok?
Isabel: Mm-hmm. Now I have that little piece of skin hanging down from when the pizza's too hot.
Alex: Yeah, well, um, speaking of hot...this whole Liz-Max thing?
Isabel: Mm-hmm?
Alex: Well, I was just wondering, you know, in the interest of science, kissing being purported to provoke these certain insights, I wanted to, you know, offer myself as a...as a human subject available for experimentation.
Isabel: It's not gonna happen, Alex.
Alex: Right...right...right. Thought I'd give it a sh*t.
Isabel: Yeah. You want some pizza?
Alex: Uh, yeah. Pizza's always good.
(At detention, Liz is looking at a poster of the Whirlwind Galaxy while waiting for Mr. Seligman to show up)
Astro Teacher: Ah, Ms. Parker. I'm happy to see you're taking a renewed interest in science.
(Liz looks like she's about to ask a question, then doesn't)
Astro Teacher: Well...well, go ahead. It looks like you have a question?
Liz: Yeah, what is this?
Astro Teacher: ah. Well, that's the Whirlwind Galaxy.
Liz: Could there be a red star, or a red something in this area that isn't on this chart?
Astro Teacher: Well, there could be a red giant.
Liz: A red giant. Isn't that...yeah, that's a star that's in its last stages of its life cycle, right?
Astro Teacher: Yes. A+ yet again. The problem is, the light from a red giant is weak...so weak we usually can't pick it up with our telescopes.
Liz: Oh. Um, well, thank you very much.
Astro Teacher: May I ask what has inspired your sudden interest in astronomy?
(Max walks into the room and Liz steals a glance at him before answering)
Liz: It's just beautiful...the universe is beautiful.
Astro Teacher: Yes...lovely. Ah. I see your partner in crime. Here are your detention assignments.
(Mr. Seligman hands each of them a sheet of paper and then walks towards Liz)
Astro Teacher: You are an excellent student, Ms. Parker. I'd hate to see anything get between you and the...uh...beauty of the universe.
(Mr. Seligman leaves)
Max: What was that about?
Liz: Uh, Max, I have to show you something. Max, you know the things I saw, the stars and everything? I didn't make them up. They're real. Max, I saw this. I saw it. Max, this afternoon...I think I saw the crash.
(Liz is working at her desk and her mom comes by, knocks on her door, and enters)
Nancy: Honey?
Liz: Yeah?
Nancy: Um...you really have strong feelings about this boy, don't you? Max, I mean.
Liz: Mom, I have like a really hard time talking about this kind of stuff.
Nancy: I have to talk about it, so if...if you can't talk right now, can you at least just listen?
Liz: Yeah.
(Mrs. Evans take a deep breath)
Nancy: Don't ever have sex. Don't ever leave this house. Don't ever stop being my baby girl. Ok?
Liz: Mom...I'm not having sex with him.
Nancy: That's good, because, um, once you enter that world...you know, sexual intimacy...everything changes.
Liz: Mom, I...
Nancy: I want you to know that you don't ever have to lie to me about this. Really. Ok?
Liz: Ok.
Nancy: Ok.
Liz: What?
Nancy: Just...one moment I look at you, you're my baby girl, and the next minute, you're a young woman.
Liz: Thank you.
(Max is at Michael's apartment talking to Michael and Isabel about what happened with Liz. Isabel is putting away some groceries)
Max: She said it was as if she was inside the ship looking out...when it came crashing toward Earth.
Michael: Did she see anyone else on the ship? Like our parents?
Isabel: Yeah, or Captain Kirk and the Klingons? You got a paper-towel holder?
Michael: No. What if it's real?
Isabel: It's not real. What's wrong with you guys?
(Isabel opens the refrigerator and takes a step back from the smell)
Isabel: Oh, God! Not even baking soda's gonna help with that.
Michael: You know what, Isabel? If you don't like my new place, you can leave. Continue.
Max: I see things from inside her head. Maybe she's seeing things stored deep inside me.
Michael: What do you see inside her head?
Max: I can't tell you. It's private.
Michael: Since when do we keep secrets from each other? Maxwell, come on.
Isabel: Do you have a juicer?
Michael: Isabel, you're pushing it.
Max: They're Liz's personal thoughts, Michael...not secrets.
Michael: Ok, yeah, so they're personal thoughts. How do you know they're real?
Max: I'm not sure.
Isabel: Can't you just ask her?
Max: I don't want to embarrass her.
Michael: Maxwell, if this is real...if there's any chance this is real, you owe it to us and to yourself to find out. And in the meantime, I'm gonna pursue my own avenues.
(Maria and Michael are making out again)
Michael: Wow.
Maria: Michael...
Michael: Uh-huh?
Maria: Mmm. This feels really good.
Michael: Uh-huh.
Maria: These visions...flashes, or whatever...
Michael: Uh-huh.
Maria: I'm just, um...I'm not completely sure I've actually really had one.
(Michael stops kissing Maria)
Michael: What do you mean, you're not completely sure?
Maria: Michael, I, um...I faked it. Ok?
Michael: Why would you tell me that?
Maria: Why? Because I...I want us to be close.
Michael: You think that makes us close.
(Michael turns to leave)
Maria: Where are you going?
Michael: How do you expect me to react?
Maria: Like...a person? Talk to me?
Michael: Yeah. Well, I could act like a person, but then I'd have to fake it.
Maria: You know, maybe if you weren't so defensive and you didn't shut down all the time...
Michael: Then maybe what?
Maria: Maybe...it would happen.
Michael: I lied to you, too...about the shoes.
Maria: Really? 'Cause I did have red sneakers.
Michael: Everybody's got red sneakers.
(In the girls' locker room, Maria is telling Liz about what happened with Michael)
Liz: Why would you fake it?
Maria: Haven't you ever heard of the male ego?
Liz: Yeah.
Maria: The question is, why did I tell him that I faked it? You know what I mean? It just...oh, my God. Liz. Liz.
Liz: Mmm. What?
Maria: Come here. Come here.
Coach: Let's go, girls.
Maria: Just go look in the mirror.
Liz: Why? What is it?
Coach: De Luca. Parker. Now!
Maria: Coming. Ok, I'll cover for you. Just go.
Liz: Ok.
(Liz walks back towards her locker to go look in a mirror and sees Max walks into the locker room)
Liz: Max!
Max: Liz.
Liz: What are you doing here?
Max: I just...I wanted to see you.
Liz: Here?
Max: I had to know if something was real.
Liz: If what was real?
Max: Well, just like you seeing things...I've seen things. And...one of those...things...
(Max slowly looks around the room and there's a slight air of familiarity as in focuses on a shower head)
Liz: You saw my fantasy?
Max: I had to know if...if...what I saw was...really from you or if it was just my imagination, which...it definitely...definitely could've been. Except...I've never been in the girls' locker room. And now that I see it, and...well, it...it is the same room...I know I didn't make it up.
Liz: This is really horrible.
Max: No, Liz. It's incredible, really.
Liz: This is not incredible.
Max: Wait. Please? Listen. Please? The main thing is...I didn't just see what you saw. I felt...what you felt...when you saw me. And I never thought anyone could really...ever feel that way about me.
Liz: Really?
Coach: Parker!
(Liz motions to Max for him to follow her and they hide in one of the shower stalls)
Coach: Parker!
(The PE teacher leaves)
Max: Uh...Liz?
Liz: What?
Max: You have a hickey...and it's glowing.
(Max touches the glowing hickey and sees a rush of images of military personnel rushing towards something that is beeping)
Liz: This is getting really weird, Max.
(Back at Michael's apartment, Isabel and Michael are discussing how these images could be created)
Isabel: That would mean each of us has this information in some part of us we're just not not conscious of.
Michael: Or she's getting messages from somewhere or someone else.
Isabel: Nasedo?
Michael: I don't know. I mean, why did she see the crash, the soldiers? Maybe it was all planned this way...that this is how we'd find out who we really are...by connecting with humans.
Isabel: Connecting?
Michael: The more they connect, the more we find out.
(Max comes in)
Max: Uh, listen...Liz is on her way over.
Isabel: Ok. We'll leave.
Max: You guys don't have to leave.
Michael: Go for it, Maxwell, for the good of all mankind, you lucky, undeserving dog.
Max: Michael, that's not what this is about for me.
Michael: Don't make me beg you to do what you and Liz obviously want to do anyways. I really don't see a problem with it.
Max: The problem is treating someone I care about like a thing...to be used.
Michael: What, and that's what I'm about? Is that what you're saying?
Max: The words are coming from your mouth, Michael.
Isabel: Ok, you guys, stop. Enough.
Michael: Listen, Maxwell...you are a sensitive guy. And you have available to you one of the top 3 seduction lines in history...with "it's gonna help me find my home planet". And you're refusing to use it. No guy is that sensitive. Use it.
(Isabel turns off the lights and snaps her fingers, causing the candles in the room to light up to form a romantic atmosphere)
Michael: Nice.
Isabel: Mmm.
(Liz opens the door and enters)
Isabel: Hi.
Liz: Hi.
Michael: How's it goin'?
Liz: Strange.
Isabel: I'll bet.
Michael: All right. We're leaving now. But I got some Chaka Khan cued up in the CD player.
Isabel: We're leaving. Bye.
Liz: So, you told 'em, huh?
Max: Yeah.
Liz: And now everyone's just sort of cheering you on...like at a football game.
Max: No. No, it's...it's not like that. I mean...yes, they want us to keep going so we can find out where all this leads. But...that's not...
Liz: Max. I need to find out where all this leads, too. Look.
(Liz shows Max a strange rash that has appeared on her shoulder. Max puts his hand over it and it disappears)
Max: It's gone.
Liz: Thanks.
(Max moves his hand down Liz's arm, and a glowing light follows his hand)
Liz: Max...do you understand any of this?
Max: No.
Liz: Can you take your shirt off?
Max: Can I? Yeah.
(Max takes off his shirt and Liz tries to create a glowing light on Max's body by running her hand over his chest)
Liz: I can't do it to you.
Max: I'm glowing everywhere...my toes, my heart. You can't see it. It's on the inside.
Liz: No, Max. We can't do this.
Max: I know.
Liz: You know, could I, uh..could I get sick?
Max: I don't know anything. I don't even know who I am.
Liz: You know, the...the mark went away because...because you touched it. Maybe...maybe it came because we were away for...too long. That sounds really crazy, but...it would be a complete disaster.
Max: I can't ask you to do anything that might hurt you in any way.
Liz: I know.
Max: And I have no idea what that is...and what's right...or wrong.
Liz: I know. I mean...and you know things...about me that you, um...that you shouldn't know. And my mother...my mother, who I love, is just gonna k*ll me...if i don't die from this.
Max: You're right.
Liz: I can't stop.
(Liz and Max starts making out again, and we see another batch of images from the crash. Soldiers are running towards some beeping object being buried nearby a radio tower)
(Maria accidentally interrupts Max and Liz)
Maria: My God! I was looking for Michael. Um, something tells me he isn't here.
(Maria is driving Liz home)
Maria: Liz, what was going on in there?
Liz: What was going on?
Maria: Yeah, it looked like it was getting pretty serious...like, very serious.
Liz: Maria, I have my mother for these lectures.
Maria: I'm worried for you.
Liz: Why?
Maria: Because this isn't you.
Liz: Yes, Maria, see...this is. This is me. I'm sitting right next to you.
Maria: I just don't want you to go too far.
Liz: I think I want to.
Maria: Are you crazy? This is dangerous. This isn't like a game! We don't even know what could happen!
Liz: Look who's talking! You were the first one to take the plunge, Maria!
Maria: Michael and I just kissed. Ok, fine. We did a little more than kissing. But, look, I wasn't getting visions, and I didn't have glowing hickeys and rashes and...look, Liz, the bottom line is that we don't know what this is about, all right? Female spiders can, you know, bite off the males' heads after they mate. What if they need someone to mate with to get certain information, you know? And then...Blttt! You know?
Liz: What're you been trying to say? That Max is just gonna bite my head off?
Maria: Uh, no. What I'm saying is, how do you know that he's not like using you?
Liz: Maria, because it...it...it feels right. I'm sorry. It feels right in a way that nothing has felt right in my life before.
(Liz climbs on the roof and tries to sneak in undetected, but her mom is waiting for her)
Liz: Hi, mom.
Nancy: Do you think i'm stupid?
Liz: I'm sorry.
Nancy: Sorry's not good enough. Where were you?
Liz: Mom, will you just stop trying to control me?
Nancy: I am trying to keep you safe. If i need to control you...when have I even tried to control you?
Liz: Right, mom, because you've never had to! 'Cause I do every single thing you want, and y-you just think I'm always gonna be that way! You don't even see me.
Nancy: All right. Then...then help me to see you. Ok? Talk to me. Oh, my God. You're so warm.
Liz: Mom, no. I'm fine.
Nancy: You're not fine. You're burning up.
Liz: Mom! Just stop it! Ok? This is my body! I don't have to tell you every single thing about it!
(Liz runs into the bathroom and slams the door)
(Maria finds Michael lying on the hood of his car in front of the Crashdown)
Maria: Michael.
Michael: Hey.
Maria: I was, uh...I was looking for you at your apartment, but I found Max and Liz instead.
Michael: Yeah?
Maria: Yeah.
Michael: They still there?
Maria: No. I just drove Liz home.
Michael: Great. I don't have to miss the hockey game.
(Liz is on her roof, sketching something in her journal)
Max: Liz.
Liz: Hi.
Max: I couldn't sleep.
Liz: Yeah, neither could I.
(Max climbs up to the roof)
Liz: Hey.
Max: Hey.
Liz: Uh, look, Max, I saw something when we were...it was something being buried, and it felt like it was something...something important. It was here.
(Liz shows Max the drawing she was sketching...it's a tower of some sort)
Max: I know this. This is the old radio tower by Highway 42.
Liz: Max. Highway 42. Isn't that...
Max: Yeah. Just a couple miles from the crash.
Liz: Well, there's something buried there.
Max: I should go there with Michael.
Liz: Is that what you really want to do?
Max: No.
Liz: Look, all I know is that if we're gonna do this, we've gotta do it tonight.
Max: Are we...
Liz: Come on. Let's go.
(Liz and Max arrive at the area near the crash site)
Max: It should be around here somewhere.
Liz: Wow.
Max: That's what's really there all the time. If we could only see it.
Liz: So.
Max: So.
Liz: So we have to decide what our next step's gonna be.
Max: Right.
Liz: I guess we could just start...digging.
Max: Or, uh...
Liz: Or, um...we could look for the next clue.
Max: Yeah. The clue idea seems more, uh...
Liz: More efficient.
Max: Yeah. Right this minute...I can't...not touch you.
Liz: Let's just lie down.
(Max unfolds a blanket and spreads it out on the ground)
Max: Are you scared?
Liz: Well, I know I'm supposed to be, but...I'm just gonna put myself in your hands.
(A howl is heard)
Liz: What's that?
Max: It's a coyote.
(Max and Liz kiss some more and Liz winds up lying down on the blanket)
Max: Are you sure?
(A beeping sound is heard)
Liz: Oh, my God. Max, that's it.
Max: What?
Liz: That's the sound I heard in my vision.
Max: Shh. It's over there. Come on.
Liz: This is it, Max.
Max: Here. It's right here.
(Max and Liz start shoveling the dirt at the spot where the beeping is coming from. They h*t something and a bright blue light sh**t into the sky)
Liz: Max...something's down there.
(Max unearths a glowing rock with an alien symbol inscribed on it)
Max: It's the symbol from the cave painting.
Liz: Is this from your home?
Max: I don't know.
Liz: Maybe it's a signal...for...
Max: Maybe.
(Early the next day, Nasedo goes by the radio tower and sees Max and Liz sleeping together)
(Liz's mom knocks on Liz's door, enters, and finds her missing)
Nancy: Liz?
(Isabel walks up to Alex's house and knocks on the door)
Alex: Isabel.
Isabel: Max and Liz are missing.
Alex: Missing. Ok, let me, um...let me get the keys to my car. All right? We can go and find them.
Isabel: That's ok.
(There is an awkward pause as Isabel waits for Alex to make the first move)
Isabel: Ok.
Alex: Ok what?
Isabel: Ok, and kiss me.
Alex: K...K-kiss you?
Isabel: My brother's missing. I need to find him. Maybe we can generate some information.
Alex: Right.
Isabel: Maybe I'll get a flash of their location or something, so...go ahead.
Alex: Oh...yes. Yes, ma'am.
(Alex steps over to Isabel and kisses her)
Isabel: Nothing.
Alex: Oh.
Isabel: Nothing relevant to the current crisis.
Alex: Sorry.
Isabel: Ok.
(Isabel turns and start to walk away)
Alex: You know, I'm...I'm available for further experiments. You know. When-whenever.
(Liz and Max wake up and Max notices someone looking at them)
Nasedo: This is private property. You two better get home.
(Max picks up the alien rock and stuffs it in his bag and he and Liz leave for home)
(Maria goes to Michael's apartment)
Maria: Max and Liz aren't...
Michael: I heard.
Maria: Look, I just really need you not to be cold or mean. If that's impossible, you can just let me know.
Michael: You want to come in?
Maria: Yeah.
Michael: Have a seat.
Maria: Thanks. Can we talk about what happened?
Michael: Talk on.
Maria: I want you to know that what I said about you being all shut down and that's why I had to fake the flashes, that was...wrong and very unfair. If something went wrong, it was because of me. I'm the one who's scared. I mean, I fake all kinds of things all the time with everybody. It's just you were the first person I actually ever admitted it to.
Michael: Well...thanks for sayin' that, but it's not really true.
Maria: What do you mean?
Michael: It's not true about you being shut down all the time. I happen to know that for a fact.
Maria: Really? How?
Michael: Because you let me see you. The red sneakers, Maria. One had a Kermit patch on it, and the shoelaces were blue, and you had your dalmatian dog with you there, licking off your tears. And I saw a whole bunch of other stuff as well. Was I right?
Maria: Yeah. Um...that dog died when I was, like, 7. Right after my father left.
Michael: Kinda rough?
Maria: Yeah. I'd say so. I really didn't care about the stupid flashes. I just wanted us to be close.
Michael: Thanks.
(Michael kisses Maria on her forehead and reaches over and hugs her with his left arm)
Jeff: They're basically good kids. Right? They're just using bad judgment.
Phillip: Huh. Bad judgment big time.
Nancy: Maybe they shouldn't see each other for a little while.
Jeff: Well, why don't we give 'em a chance to explain themselves?
Diane: Well, what kind of explanation can there possibly be?
(Outside the Crashdown, Max has parked the jeep and he and Liz are kissing again)
Max: Any flashes?
Liz: No. And you?
Max: Don't think so.
Liz: Max...everything that we did, everything we felt...was it...was it all just about this...this thing? You know, we don't even know what it is.
Max: Yet.
Liz: Max, was it ever just about us? You and me? Because a person could feel like they just served their purpose. You know, like being used.
Max: Is that what you think? Because you're not the only one who could worry about being used. I mean, some girls would give a lot to see themselves fly through outer space. You know, I'm sure it doesn't compare to other things you could be doing, like watching Kyle barf after a beer blast.
Liz: I can't believe you just said that.
Max: Why not?
Liz: Because it really happened.
Max: You're kidding me.
Liz: No. I swear. Last summer. It was a really hot night...
Max: You know what? No, no...don't tell me.
Liz: Ok, so what you're saying is that you saved me from a life of watching Kyle barf.
Max: Liz Parker...I don't think that was ever gonna be your destiny.
Liz: No?
Max: No.
Liz: Ok. Fine. If you know so much, then tell me, Max...what's my destiny?
Max: I only know the part I'm hoping for.
(Episode fades out as Max and Liz hold hands and walk into the Crashdown Cafe) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x15 - Sexual Healing"} | foreverdreaming |
"Crazy"
Episode: 17
17th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA16
Written by: Thania St. John
Original Air Date: Wednesday April 10, 2000
(Episode starts out in the Crashdown's kitchen where Michael is cooking)
Michael: Ladies, food doesn't taste better cold, all right? Push the special. I'm tired of flipping burgers.
(Max and Isabel enter the Crashdown)
Liz: Would you?
(Maria nods)
Liz: Thanks. Table 5.
Maria: Is that so hard?
Michael: What?
Maria: Acting like a real couple, kissing, arms around each other's shoulders, actually excited to see one another.
Michael: Overrated.
Liz: Look, if we leave right now, we can make the 7:35. I won't even change.
Isabel: Leave? We just got here.
Max: We kind of planned on seeing a movie.
Liz: Maria, would you mind?
Maria: Go ahead.
Liz: Thank you.
Maria: Live the life I so desperately want.
Michael: It's kind of immature, really.
Maria: Really.
Michael: Just a couple of horndogs looking for a place to make out. I mean, we don't need that. We got my apartment, you know?
Isabel: I guess I'll just have the special.
Michael/Maria: Uhh...we're closing early.
(Max and Liz are kissing in Max's jeep in a secluded woodsy area)
Liz: Do you mind missing the movie?
Max: I heard it got bad reviews.
(Someone runs up to the jeep and starts banging on the window)
Topolsky: You're in danger, all of you.
Max: What are you talking about?
Topolsky: The best way to protect yourselves is to just act like normal kids.
Max: We are normal kids.
Topolsky: Ok. I think I was followed. Don't trust anyone. I'll find you again.
Liz: Topolsky.
(Opening Credits)
(Michael and Maria are making out on Michael's couch in his apartment)
Michael: Maria. Maria.
Maria: Michael. Oh, Michael. Max.
Michael: What?
Maria: Look.
Michael: What the hell are you guys doing here?
Liz: Topolsky.
Isabel: She's back.
Liz: She practically just att*cked us in the car at Buckley Point.
Maria: I thought you went to the movies.
Liz: It had bad reviews.
Max: She said we were in danger...all of us. And to just act normal until she contacts us again.
Alex: Would that be, you know, alien normal, or just plain "we're the subjects of an FBI manhunt" normal?
Michael: This sounds wrong, like some sort of trap.
Liz: No, Michael. She was really scared. I believed her.
Michael: Yeah. Let me remind you, Liz, that you believed her the first time, too.
Alex: Hey, you want to know what? Where would you be if Liz and I didn't stick our necks out to expose her?
Isabel: Ok. Just calm down, all right?
Alex: Do you really think she's here to warn us?
Liz: She wasn't the same person she was before. You know, and the way that she was talking, she seemed like she was just as scared for herself as she is for us.
Alex: Then I say we listen.
Michael: I say we don't! All right, it's just a new tactic. She scares us, makes us think we need help, and all we're really doing is admitting who we are. All right? I don't trust her, and none of us should.
Max: Whether we trust her or not, it doesn't hurt to take her advice. We're normal teenage kids. No one says the word "alien" or talks about this in public. Anybody could be watching. And I think we should keep this here. It's the safest place we've got right now.
Maria: I can't believe she's back. I thought this was all over with.
(At school, Alex and Isabel are sitting at a table during lunchtime)
Alex: So, you've noticed them, too, huh? Liz and Max and Michael and Maria.
Isabel: It's kind of hard not to with all the face-sucking going on.
Alex: Yeah. But, um...listen, Isabel. I've been thinking. I mean, face-sucking aside, it'd be kind of nice to have someone...someone to hang out with, one on one. You know, someone who you understand, and you share common bonds with. I mean, like a friend, but...
Tess: Can I join you?
Alex: Actually, we were in the m--the middle of something.
Isabel: You're the new girl, right?
Tess: If you're busy, I could...
Isabel: No. Have a seat. Join us. Sit down.
Tess: Thanks. I'm Tess.
Isabel: Isabel. This is Alex.
Tess: Hi.
Alex: Hi. So, welcome to Roswell.
Tess: I always hate the first day at a new school.
Isabel: Done this before?
Tess: Only about a hundred times. Everyone's always so nice.
Alex: Is that a bad thing?
Tess: Well, the guys are usually nice because they want to jump my bones. And the girls are usually nice because they want to find out if I want to jump their boyfriends' bones. You must get that a lot.
Isabel: Yeah. How about the girls who hang out with you to meet a better class of guys?
Tess: Or the guys who say they understand you and really just want to be your friend, but all they really want is 15 minutes alone with you in the janitor's closet.
Isabel: We have an eraser room.
Tess: Thanks for the warning.
Isabel: Oh, my God. I do that, too.
Tess: Good. I can't stand people who use fake sugar. Nothing can ever be too sweet. Don't you think?
Isabel: Let me see your schedule. I wonder if we have any classes together.
Tess: I don't know. I've got English.
Isabel: Phys. Ed together.
(At the Evans home, Michael is asking Max for advice)
Michael: So, now she says what we've got isn't good enough. She wants more.
Max: You mean like...
Michael: No. If that's what she wanted, would I be here talking to you? She wants the romance thing. The thing that you and Liz got.
Max: Is that what you want?
Michael: I just want to make her happy. And you're gonna tell me how to do it.
Max: It's not like there's a handbook.
Michael: I'm serious, Max. Things are getting frosty. She went to the French club meeting today instead of meeting me in the eraser room. The French club...what the hell is that?
Max: All right...romantic. When you're with her, act like she's like the only girl in the room.
Michael: She's usually the only other person in the room.
Max: That's a good start. Um, try taking her out...someplace nice. And, uh, surprises...they love surprises. Like, you know, little things, like a note in her locker, or a flower in the middle of the day.
Tess: How do you know women so well? Don't let me stop you. This is fascinating.
Max: Who are you?
Isabel: She's my friend.
Michael: How come we've never met her before?
Isabel: God, Michael, could you be any more rude?
Tess: Actually, it's kind of refreshing. I'm Tess.
Isabel: This is my brother Max and our friend Michael.
Tess: Nice to meet you.
Isabel: Here you go. I'll meet you back in my room.
Tess: Don't forget the extra sugar.
Isabel: Ok. What's wrong with you guys? She just moved here. I'm helping her catch up.
Michael: She looked pretty caught up to me. Topolsky was a plant when she showed up at school. This girl could be, too.
Isabel: She's a transfer student, Michael.
Max: She's a stranger, Isabel.
Isabel: Well, it's not like I'm going to fall in love with her and tell her our secret and compromise our very existence. I thought we were supposed to be acting normal, right? Heck of a job you two just did.
(A flower deliveryperson shows up at the Crashdown)
Delivery Guy: I've got a delivery for one of the waitresses.
Maria: Really? De Luca?
Delivery Guy: Uh, Parker...Liz Parker.
Maria: Oh. Just let me have 'em.
Delivery Guy: You're Liz Parker?
Maria: What, I don't look like a girl who gets flowers everyday?
Delivery Guy: Your tag says Maria.
Maria: Just give me the flowers. Go. No tip.
(Maria walks over to Liz)
Maria: Hey, Gidget. You got some flowers from moondoggie.
Liz: I did? Oh, my God. Wow.
(Maria looks over Liz's shoulder as Liz opens the note)
Liz: Maria.
Maria: Come on. Just let me see what I'm missing, please.
Liz: He's so romantic. He wants me to meet him at the restaurant where we had our first date. He just keeps on getting more and more wonderful every day.
Maria: Mr. Wonderful.
(Liz arrives at Senor Chow's)
Liz: Hello?
Hostess: Oh, hello. How many?
Liz: Uh, 2, please.
Hostess: Ok. Here you go.
Liz: Thank you.
(Topolsky-in-disguise slides into the seat across from Liz)
Topolsky: Don't draw attention to us. Just stay focused, Liz. It's the only way we're gonna make it through this.
Liz: Why are you following us? We haven't done anything wrong.
Topolsky: You can play that game all night, or you can listen to me and maybe save all of our lives. You're smart. I knew you were the one I could get through to. They don't know I'm here. If they did...
Liz: Who's they?
Topolsky: The people I work for.
Liz: The FBI.
Topolsky: It's more complicated than that. I've learned things, seen things...that no one would believe. Sometimes I don't even believe them myself.
Liz: Where have you been all of this time?
Topolsky: To hell. And I've come out to warn you. There's a hunter, an alien hunter. He's buried deep inside the FBI. Even the president and the director are on a need-to-know basis only. Do you understand what I am saying? He answers to no one. And he will stop at nothing to get what he's looking for.
Liz: What is he looking for?
Topolsky: Max Evans...and anyone he thinks is involved with him. All 6 of your names are on that list. You have to believe me.
Liz: I believe you.
Topolsky: I knew you would. We can't be seen together, do you understand? Meet me tomorrow night, behind the theater at 8:00. I'll know more by then.
(Liz sees Max the next day in a hallway at school)
Max: Hey. What's wrong?
Liz: Um, Max...I saw Topolsky last night.
Max: You met her?
Liz: No. I thought that I was meeting you.
Max: She tricked you?
Liz: Max, come on. Just stop it, all right?
Max: Don't you see what she's doing?
Liz: Look, Max...I really think we should just trust her.
Max: No. No one is trying to help us. Just stay away from her.
Liz: Max, it's not just about you guys anymore, ok? Maria, Alex, and I...we're on that list, too. I think that we should just all have a say in all of this.
Max: What list?
(The whole g*ng meets at a quarry-like area to discuss Topolsky)
Alex: So, she wore a wig, huh?
Liz: Alex, I mean, she was so scared. I've never seen anyone that scared before.
Alex: Taken a look at me lately?
Michael: Don't you get it? This is exactly what she wants. She has spooked the 3 of you. And now she's waiting for you to deliver the 3 of us straight to the FBI.
Liz: No, Michael. It's not 3 and 3 anymore. It's the 6 of us now. We need to start making our decisions that way.
Isabel: There's no decision to be made. We trust no one. We never have, and we never will. God, if you think you can even begin to understand what it's like to be us in this...
Max: I think we're all a little on edge right now, Isabel.
Isabel: Max, if there's a hunter out there, who do you think he's coming for first?
Michael: There is no hunter out there, ok? This is insane. Can't you people smell a set-up, or am I the only one thinking straight here?
Maria: Why don't we put it to a vote? Do we meet Topolsky again or not?
Alex: I say we meet, hear what she has to say.
Isabel: I say we stay away.
Max: I have to agree with Isabel.
Michael: You know my vote.
Liz: But if anything happens to any of you, I...I think that's why we need to meet her. I think we need protection, Max.
Michael: Great. It's a tie. Hell of a lot of good that did us.
Maria: No. I...I don't think we should go. I mean, if you guys feel that strongly about it, who are we to tell Topolsky anything about you?
Michael: 4-2, we stay away.
(Alex walks off visibly frustrated, and everyone leaves except Maria and Michael)
Michael: Thanks for seeing it my way.
Maria: I just really want this to be over with.
(Topolsky waits behind the theatre but Liz doesn't show up)
(Sheriff Valenti enters his office late at night and notices someone is waiting for him in the darkness)
Sheriff: You left without saying good-bye, Ms. Topolsky. You ok?
Topolsky: I'll never be ok again.
Sheriff: You here to tell me about it?
Topolsky: I'm here because they won't listen to me.
Sheriff: Who?
Topolsky: Max, Liz...none of them.
Sheriff: You're finally admitting the FBI's investigating these kids.
Topolsky: It's much worse than that.
Sheriff: You look like you could use a drink, Kathleen. What do you say we go somewhere?
Topolsky: No! No. Look, everything stays a secret now, or I will never make it out of this.
Sheriff: Make it out of what?
Topolsky: Did you really think you could k*ll Everett Hubble and not send up a red flag?
Sheriff: What do you know about Hubble?
Topolsky: UFO nut...they all get tracked. He found out about Max, didn't he? At the convention. That's why you had to k*ll him. You're protecting those kids, too, now, aren't you?
Sheriff: All right. Why don't you just tell me what the hell you're talking about?
Topolsky: When my cover was blown, I was sent back to Washington. That's when I found out about the special unit. Alien hunters.
Sheriff: In the FBI?
Topolsky: I was the first agent to make direct contact with...with the subject. I spent 4 weeks being debriefed by the agent in charge. His name is Pierce. And after what he did to me, I'd hate to see how he'd treat the enemy. When it was over, that's when he told me I was theirs for life. Once you know about the unit, you don't get out.
Sheriff: Sounds elite. So, what's the problem?
Topolsky: The problem is they k*ll people, and there is no one to stop them. And that is not why I became an agent, Jim.
Sheriff: So, the FBI thinks that Max Evans is an alien. Why don't they swoop in and pick him up?
Topolsky: Why haven't you? No solid proof. Fear of what he might do. He's not the only one, you know.
Sheriff: This is getting a little far-fetched, i think.
Topolsky: Look, your name is on that list. And you're not the first person he's destroyed over this. Now, I am trying to save your lives here, but if you don't want my help...
Sheriff: Wait, wait. Hold on. Whoa, whoa. Hold on. Maybe we can get you some help.
Topolsky: I already told you...it is too late for that. And if you don't believe me, why don't you try asking your friend Agent Stevens what happened to him when he tried to get out? Pierce made an example out of him for the rest of us. Piece...by piece. Get them to trust me. It's the only way.
(Topolsky leaves and Valenti calls Agent Stevens)
Operator: Federal Bureau of Investigation, how may I direct your call?
Sheriff: Yeah. I need to speak to agent John Stevens, please.
Operator: I'm sorry...but Agent Stevens no longer works for the Bureau. Would you care to try someone else?
Sheriff: No. No. Thank you.
(Valenti calls up Agent Stevens' home number)
Woman: Hello?
Sheriff: Yeah. Uh, listen, I'm sorry to call you so late, ma'am. I need to speak to John Stevens, though, please.
Woman: Who is this? Why don't you know? My husband's d*ad. Why don't they just tell everybody for God's sake?
Sheriff: Ma'am, I'm sorry.
(At the Crashdown, Michael is behind on his cooking)
Maria: How many light-years away is my Eclipse Burger?
Michael: Depends how they feel about raw.
Maria: I put that order in 10 minutes ago.
Michael: Well, you can't rush an Eclipse.
Liz: Hey, I need that Chili Rocket Dog, Michael.
Michael: I got a lot on my mind. Here, give 'em an order of Saturn Rings while they're waitin'. That'll shut 'em up.
Maria: Typical.
Michael: What?
Maria: Your reaction. You can't deliver to a customer what they want, so you substitute it with an inferior item just to get them off your back.
Michael: What's that supposed to mean?
Maria: It means, Michael, that I'm not gonna settle for the Saturn Rings anymore. If you want me, you have to earn me. That's how a relationship works.
Michael: No, Maria, that's how Boy Scout merit badges work.
Liz: Hey, have you guys noticed that there's a restaurant full of people waiting for actual food?
Michael: What are you and Max doing tonight?
Liz: Oh, we're just gonna stay at home. Try and keep a low profile.
Michael: Act like we got nothing to hide, remember?
Maria: What do you mean?
Michael: We should go out tonight. The 4 of us.
Maria/Liz: What?!?
Michael: That way, if someone is really watching us, we won't give 'em anything to be suspicious about. Hot dog.
Maria: I thought you didn't believe Topolsky.
Michael: You want what Max and Liz have, don't you?
Maria: Well, yeah. Yeah. I just thought we'd try it on our own.
Michael: One step at a time.
Michael: I hate this job.
(Scene shifts to the UFO Center)
Man: 2 nuns working at St. Mary's Hospital in Roswell were finishing their shift about midnight when they saw a bright expl*si*n to the northwest.
Sheriff: Odd-looking fella. Didn't mean to startle you.
Max: You didn't.
Sheriff: You must get a lot of strangers around here.
Max: Everyday.
Sheriff: You better be careful about that.
Max: What do you mean, Sheriff?
Sheriff: Oh, you know, the crazies. People coming up to you out of the blue, filling your head up with all sorts of conspiracy theories, that sort of thing. You know, like Hubble.
Max: Are you saying I shouldn't believe that kind of stuff?
Sheriff: No, I'm just saying that a guy like you needs to be careful, that's all. Roswell attracts all kinds. You never know who's gonna turn out to be your friend or your enemy. Now, you take me, for example. I'm the law. Now, most normal teenage boys might think of me as the enemy...always cracking down on them, waiting for them to make a mistake. On the other hand, I'm here to protect them. Just like I protected you from Hubble the other night. In fact, sometimes I might be the only person that they should trust in this town.
Max: I'll be ok, Sheriff.
Sheriff: Listen, if anybody bothers you or one of your friends, you let me know. All right? But you don't need to worry. You're just a kid going about your daily routine.
Max: I've heard that a lot lately.
Sheriff: Well, that's probably good advice, then.
Max: Thank you, Sheriff.
(Alex walks into the employee area of the Crashdown looking for Liz and Maria)
Alex: Oh, whoa! Peep shows!
Maria: Ooh, Alex. Don't worry. It's nothing you haven't seen before.
Alex: Ah, well, don't be too sure. So, um, in this bag I have tonight's entertainment. I got a box of raisinettes and Scream 2.
Liz/Maria: Hated it.
Alex: Ok, well, that's why my chick flick back-up rental was Notting Hill.
Liz: Ok, Alex, you can turn around now.
Alex: So, my place or yours?
Liz: Oh, um, neither.
Maria: We're going for Mexican with Max and Michael.
Alex: I thought we decided to stay low, you know, with everything that's been going on? Oh, great. Everyone's invited but me.
Liz: No, I don't think Isabel's coming.
Alex: Maybe I can talk some sense into her.
Liz: Hi.
Max: Hi. This is for you.
Liz: Oh, thank you. It's bubble bath.
Max: It's supposed to make your skin soft.
Liz: Thanks.
Michael: This is for you.
Maria: Shampoo.
Michael: Shampoo AND conditioner in one.
Maria: It's a real timesaver.
Max: We should get going.
Liz: Ok.
(Michael awkwardly takes Maria hand and pulls her outside)
Alex: So you agree with them?
Isabel: Alex, you have to stop. We can't show weakness.
Alex: What, you think I'm being weak because I don't want anything bad to happen to you? I mean, to us? To all of us?
Isabel: You really do want to protect me, don't you?
Alex: I'd do anything.
Isabel: Nobody's ever said that to me before. I mean, except for Max and Michael, but they're my brothers, so...
Alex: Isabel, I meant what I said...about having somebody. I mean...everything gets easier once you're not alone.
Isabel: I've just always thought that if I, um, if I let someone in it would make me too...
Alex: Vulnerable?
Isabel: I'm just not sure that I can afford that right now.
Alex: How about starting slow, huh? A video date? Notting Hill. It's a great chick flick.
Tess: Yeah, but he didn't deserve her. What a little English wimp, don't you think? Hi, Al.
Alex: Uhh...it's not Al. It's Alex.
Tess: I am so un-hungry right now. Why don't we just go back to your place, and I'll start on your hair.
Alex: You 2 have plans?
Tess: Girls' night.
Alex: Guess I've got the wrong hormones for that.
Isabel: See you later, Alex.
Alex: Yeah.
(Alex leaves the Crashdown and starts walking home when a sinister looking car pulls up next to him)
Passenger: Alex? You're Alex Whitman, aren't you? It's ok, Alex. Topolsky sent me. She knows you'd want to see her...hear what she has to say.
Alex: Why didn't she just come herself?
Passenger: I'll take you to her. She'll explain everything. Don't worry. I'm on your side. Get in the car.
Sheriff: Anything wrong here?
(Sinister car drives off)
Sheriff: Hitchhiking's never a good idea. Come on. I'll give you a ride home. No questions asked.
(Alex nods and gets into Sheriff Valenti's cruiser)
Liz: So, this has been really fun.
Michael: Yeah, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be.
Maria: Every girl's dream.
Waitress: Here you go. You can pay me whenever you're ready.
Michael: You're gonna have to get this one 'cause i don't get paid till Tuesday.
(Maria leaves the table and stops next to the window)
(Max kicks Michael under the table)
Michael: You know, this whole dating thing really bites.
(Michael leaves the table and walks toward Maria)
Michael: What did I do now?
Maria: Michael, you have no table manners, and all you do is talk about yourself, and you have absolutely no regard for anyone else around you. I mean, if you get a girl shampoo, at least don't get her the generic kind, you know?
Michael: How am I supposed to know what brand of shampoo you use?
Maria: You just don't get it, do you?
Michael: What i want to know is, if I'm such a loser, then why do you want to be with me?
(Michael returns to his apartment to find it ransacked. Topolsky is waiting in the shadows)
Topolsky: If I give you proof, will you believe me then?
Michael: Get out of my house.
Topolsky: I know what this is.
Michael: That's a paperweight.
Topolsky: It's a communicator, and there's another one just like it. I took it from the special unit evidence vault back in Washington. Now, I know they only work when they're together, so if I bring you the other one, if I risk my life for you...I need to know that you will take me with you when your people come to get you.
Michael: You're crazy.
Topolsky: No, Michael, look. We are all going to die. And it's not going to be pleasant. We only have one chance. I will meet you tomorrow night at Buckley Point with the other communicator. If you ignore me this time, there won't be a next time.
(Everyone is gathered at the quarry-like area again to discuss what happened to Alex)
Michael: You didn't see his face?
Alex: No.
Liz: What about his voice? Did you recognize it?
Alex: If I knew anything more, don't you think I'd tell you?
Isabel: Just leave him alone. He's been through enough.
Max: Just tell me what Valenti said to you again.
Alex: It's not what he said. It's how he said it. And how he knew to be there. It's like he's on our side or something.
Max: There are 5 people in the world that I trust, and they're all standing right here. We can't let anyone else in. Not Valenti. Not Topolsky. Not even a new girl at school. No matter how tempting it is.
Alex: It's real what she says. There was something about that guy in that car. It's like our lives are in danger.
Liz: We don't know what part of her stories are true.
Max: That's why we talk to no one. Agreed?
Alex: Yeah.
(Everyone leaves except Michael and Maria)
Maria: I'm sorry.
Michael: Why?
Maria: For that whole "being the perfect boyfriend" thing. After what happened to Alex last night, that's just, like, not what's important to me at all. So, if that's why you're acting strange, you can just stop. It's over. I mean...just go back to being your usual self.
Michael: Come here. If anything happens, I mean, to me, I just want you to know that...
Maria: I know. Nothing's gonna happen to you.
(Dinnertime at the Crashdown)
Isabel: I hope you don't mind, I mean, just hanging out for awhile. I didn't want to be alone tonight.
Alex: Me neither.
(In the back room of the Crashdown, Michael is looking for something in Maria's locker)
Maria: Hey, what are you doing going through my locker?
Michael: I need to borrow your car.
Maria: Really? For what?
Michael: Don't ask. I just gotta go somewhere, all right?
Maria: Not without telling me.
Michael: Give me that! Leave me alone!
Maria: What is that?
Michael: It's nothing.
Maria: It's that thing...that orb.
Michael: Shhh!
Maria: What are you doing with the orb? Where are you going with it? You're supposed to keep it in your apartment for safety, remember?
Michael: Yeah, so?
Maria: Wait a minute. You're going to meet Topolsky, aren't you? After everything you said to the others...
Michael: Yeah, well...just don't tell them, all right? I gotta do this thing, but it's safer if I do it alone.
Maria: I'm going.
Michael: No!
Maria: Hello, Sheriff? Hi. My car's been stolen.
Michael: You're staying in the car with your head down.
Maria: Where are we going?
Michael: We're going to Buckley Point.
Maria: I need a jacket.
Michael: Hurry up!
(Liz is looking for Maria and goes to search the back room)
Liz: You guys? What are you guys doing back there? What's going on?
(Maria has left Liz a note: "Meeting Topolsky at Buckley Point. Hurry"
Maria: I don't think this is such a good idea.
Michael: You already mentioned that.
Maria: Y-you're the one who...who thought that she was gonna trap us.
Michael: She knew what the orb was.
Maria: It had the symbol on it. She could've just been guessing.
Michael: No, Maria...this is real. We're getting close to something.
Maria: Yeah, our grisly deaths. Look, Michael, I'm really scared, ok, and I don't want to go through with this anymore.
Michael: I told you, you can stay in the car.
Maria: Pull over. Let me out.
Michael: I can't leave you out in the middle of nowhere!
Maria: Fine, then take me back! I'm not kidding. You can't make me go through with this. You can't put me in danger like this. Not if I don't want to go!
(Liz, Max, Isabel, and Alex are in Max's jeep hot on Michael's trail)
Max: There's only one road up here.
Liz: They can't be more than 10 minutes ahead of us, Max. Just go fast.
Alex: Look, I don't get it. Why would he go and do this after we all agreed?
Isabel: Because he's Michael.
Max: That's no excuse this time!
Michael: Hey!
Maria: Michael, it's a mistake, and if you're too stupid not to protect yourself, I'm gonna have to do it for you!
Michael: This is not your decision to make! This is mine.
Maria: It's not just about you! What you do affects me. That's how relationships work, and whether you like it or not, we are in a relationship! OK, so go ahead and hate me, but I'm not gonna let you get hurt. I care about you too much.
Michael: Maria, I have been waiting for this my whole life.
Maria: So have I!
(Headlights appear suddenly)
Michael: Run, go on! Run! Get out of here! Go!
Maria: No, I am not gonna leave you!
(Max approaches Michael)
Max: Give it to me.
Michael: Topolsky says it's a communicator.
Max: I said give it to me! We trusted you with it, and you blew it.
Michael: It does something when it's with another one, and I gotta find out what it is!
Max: No one can know we have that!
(Max punches Michael in the face)
Michael: You h*t me? You h*t me!
Max: Somebody had to knock some sense into you!
Isabel: No.
Michael: Damn you!
(More headlights appear. Sheriff Valenti and Dr. Margolin step out of their respective vehicles)
Doctor: I'm sorry, but Ms. Topolsky won't be meeting you tonight...or any other night.
Michael: So she wasn't lying. You k*lled her, and now you're here to k*ll us?
Sheriff: No, Michael. He's not. This man is from Bethesda, Maryland. His name is Dr. Malcolm Margolin. He stopped by my office this morning...explained a few things about Ms. Topolsky.
Doctor: I've been treating Kathleen for the last 6 weeks.
Sheriff: Dr. Margolin is a psychiatric specialist.
Doctor: She had a breakdown. She's paranoid delusional. That means that she's desperately afraid of things that don't exist...to the point that she makes up elaborate scenarios to justify the fears that she has.
Sheriff: Doctor tells me that Ms. Topolsky was in a facility in Bethesda until a few days ago when she just took off.
Doctor: We traced her credit card here to Roswell, and when I caught up with her she was hysterical...talking about meeting you around here...something about an orb. The Sheriff said he knew you, and that you'd had trouble with her in the past. I didn't want anything to happen to you out here.
Sheriff: I checked it all out. The doctor is who he says he is, and Topolsky spent the last month in a mental hospital. I think it's safe to disregard anything she's been saying...to any of us.
Doctor: I'm sorry to have caused you this inconvenience. And don't worry about Kathleen. She should be back in Bethesda by now under the best care available. So please, no more late-night trips to the middle of nowhere. Anything could be out here, and I'd hate to see any harm come to you on our account.
Sheriff: Thank you, Doctor. I'm sure we'll all sleep better. So it's over. You can go home now.
(Michael looks to the area where he dropped the orb)
Max: We'll come back for it.
Liz: Max.
(Sheriff Valenti notices something in the ground and picks up the orb)
Max: Nice job, Michael.
(Nasedo, disguised as Doctor Margolin, drives to a secluded area and shapeshifts into a hiker)
(At another part of Buckley Point, Topolsky is waiting for Michael to show up with the other communicator in hand)
Topolsky: Michael? Michael? Michael, over here! Michael.
Pierce: Good work, Agent Topolsky. You led me right to them.
Topolsky: They have nothing to do with it.
Pierce: That's not your concern anymore, Agent Topolsky.
Topolsky: No. No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Nooooo!
(Scene fades out with Topolsky pleading for help in the back seat of the car as it drives away) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x16 - Crazy"} | foreverdreaming |
"Tess, Lies and Videotape"
Episode: 18
18th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1-18
Production Code: 1ADA17
Written by: Richard Whitley, Toni Graphia
Original Air Date: Wednesday April 17, 2000
(Episode starts out at the Crashdown with Max and Isabel sitting at the counter. Liz is working.)
Max: Uh, Miss.
Liz: Uh, yes, sir?
Max: Refill, please.
Liz: It would be my pleasure.
Isabel: God, do you have to do that?
Max: What?
Isabel: Be so public. I mean, it's kind of creepy.
(Sheriff Valenti walks in.)
Liz: Oh, um, hi. Can I help you, Sheriff?
Sheriff: Just the usual, Miss Parker.
Liz: All righty, here you go, Sheriff.
Sheriff: Thank you. Folks have a nice night.
(Michael walks up from the kitchen.)
Michael: He knows.
Max: What does he know?
Michael: He's got the orb.
Max: Which proves nothing. And if you hadn't taken it out of the apartment in the first place...
Michael: Oh, yeah, it's always my fault.
Isabel: Blaming each other is not going to change anything. So Valenti now has something from our planet in his possession.
Liz: Even though he has it, he doesn't know what it is, right?
Max: We don't even know what it is.
(Tess suddenly appears at Liz's elbow.)
Tess: What what is? Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything.
Isabel: No, no. Hey we were just... um... Why don't you join us? Have a seat.
Tess: Thanks.
Isabel: Sure.
Tess: So, what were you guys talking about?
Liz: Can I get you something to drink, Tess?
Tess: Oh, thanks. Uh, Cherry coke with lime.
(Max is staring at Tess, and he gets a flash of them standing hand in hand in the desert.)
Tess: What's the matter? Do I have something in my teeth?
Max: What? No. Let me help you with that.
(Max and Liz go into the kitchen.)
Liz: Max, look, I have to get back to work.
Max: Shh, Liz, just...
(They kiss.)
Max: I just really needed to do that.
Liz: `K.
(They kiss again, but Max has a flash/dream that he's kissing Tess.)
Liz: Max. Max. Max. Where'd you go? Did you have another flash?
Max: Yeah. No. No, I'm fine. I'm just tired, I guess. I'm sorry.
Liz: That's ok. Look, I gotta get back to work. I'll see you later.
(Opening Credits)
(Sheriff Valenti is on the phone in his office. He's holding the orb)
Sheriff: Topolsky. T-O-P-O-L-S-K-Y. Yeah, I know. She's a patient there. Well then, get permission. Put Dr. Margolin on the phone. This is important. He'll know what it's about. Alright, fine. I'll leave a message. Sheriff James Valenti...Roswell, New Mexico. I have to talk to her.
(In a hallway at school)
Alex: Tess. Hey, Isabel.
Isabel: Hi, Alex.
Tess: He's got it so bad for you.
Isabel: He's sweet.
Tess: Sweet as in nice guy, or sweet as in potential love connection?
Isabel: Sweet as in I don't know. What about you? You've been here a couple of weeks. You must have somebody in your radar.
Tess: Still soaking it all in. Although I have to admit, I'm a little bummed your brother is unavailable. I'm sort of into those serious mooded guys.
Isabel: Yeah, well, you can forget it. He's a total goner. You should hear him talk about her. "Oh Liz is my soul mate. I never felt like this before." It's enough to make you want to gag.
Tess: That's weird. I thought I felt him...
Isabel: What?
Tess: Nothing. I'm sure it was nothing.
(In BioLab.)
Teacher: Combustibility. When two or more chemical elements become easily aroused culminating in oxidation and eventually burning. Since you're obviously so eager, Mr. Evans, I'd like you to come up and be Miss Harding's lab partner. I'm sure with your help, she'll be caught up in no time.
(Max goes to the front of the room, and grabs Tess off her stool, kisses her wildly as he lays her down on the teachers desk.)
Tess: Max, you're on f*re. Oh, Max. You're on f*re.
(He snaps out of his dream.)
Tess: Max. You're on f*re.
(In the girls' bathroom.)
Maria: Liz, Max was on f*re.
Liz: No, Maria, it was an accident.
Maria: No, really, I did not like the way she was looking at him.
Liz: Maria, Max and I are together now, and I don't have anything to worry about.
(In the boys' bathroom.)
Max: Michael, I'm worried.
Michael: You should be.
Max: It's not about Valenti. It's about Tess, Isabel's friend. I'm having these daydreams about her.
Michael: Daydreams?
Max: Yeah, where we're together...you know, together.
Michael: I guess you're only human after all, huh?
(In the girls' bathroom.)
Maria: Max isn't human. What if Czechoslovakians can't resist temptation?
Liz: Ok, so what you're saying is that this not only a romantic problem now, it's, you know, intergalactic. Come on, Maria. Don't you get it? You know, Max and I... we're really... we're really happy together, and...
(In the boys' bathroom.)
Max: It's me. I'm the problem. Something's happening to me.
Michael: Haven't you ever had a fantasy before?
Max: This is different. It's out of my control. I can't stop it.
Michael: We'll work it out.
Max: Thanks for the compassion.
Michael: Valenti has the communicator, and we need to do something about it. This isn't the time for your sex fantasies.
Max: Michael, I'm telling you, there's something weird about this. It's like she knows something about me that she shouldn't know. I mean, who is she?
Michael: Can you focus? I mean, focus on what's important here, Maxwell.
Max: Forget about it? Why did I think you'd be any help?
(At the Valenti residence.)
Kyle: Pass the ball. Pass it. Come on, man!
(The phone rings)
Sheriff: Yeah? Bethesda, Maryland? Yeah, thank you.
Kyle: Hello. I was watching that.
Newscaster: Unfortunately the news tonight out of Bethesda, Maryland is not good.
Sheriff: I'm sorry. This is important.
Newscaster: We're still here on the scene of this tragic f*re at the Bethesda Psychiatric Institute where six patients are now confirmed d*ad. Officials are still investigating the cause of the blaze, and arson has not yet been ruled out. We'll be keeping you updated throughout the night with more information from the local police and f*re department as it comes. This is Thania St. John reporting live.
Sheriff: Dr. Margolin, please. Yeah, I know about the f*re. This is an emergency.
Margolin: This is Dr. Margolin.
Sheriff: Doctor, this is Sheriff Valenti.
Margolin: Who?
Sheriff: Jim Valenti...Roswell New Mexico.
Margolin: Oh, yeah, you called before. What do you want?
Sheriff: Yeah, I'm trying to get in touch with Kathleen Topolsky.
Margolin: I'm sorry, Sheriff, but I'm afraid Kathleen Topolsky was one of the victims of the f*re.
Sheriff: Doctor, has anything happened since our meeting last week that makes you think this f*re might have been set to do her harm?
Margolin: Our meeting?
Sheriff: Here in Roswell. You came looking for Ms. Topolsky.
Margolin: Listen, Sheriff, I don't know who you are, and I've never been to Roswell, New Mexico in my life.
(At the UFO Museum.)
Max: We're not open yet, Sheriff.
Sheriff: I think I know how you feel now.
Max: What do you mean?
Sheriff: Not having anyone to talk to. Something tearing you up inside. Not being able to get it off your chest.
Max: Is that what you need to do, Sheriff?
Sheriff: Last night there was a f*re in the psychiatric hospital in Bethesda, Maryland where Kathleen Topolsky was being treated, and she was k*lled. They say it was accidental.
Max: But you don't believe that.
Sheriff: Do you? Do you remember Dr. Margolin, psychiatrist who came out to get her that night? I talked to him last night. He didn't have the foggiest idea who I was. Never been to Roswell in his life. So who was he, Max? I mean the guy that was standing right there... right there in front of us? Who was he? And how the hell did he look like a doctor who was three thousand miles away? There was a crazy thing my father used to talk about... something called a shape-shifter... someone who could take on the form of another person.
Max: There's no such thing as a shape-shifter.
Sheriff: What if there is, Max? What is everything Topolsky told us was true? I mean, the Special Unit of the FBI... Pierce, the alien hunter...What if he just k*lled Topolsky and six completely innocent people. This is serious Max. People are dying. That list Topolsky talked about...Liz Parker's on that list. Your sister, Isabel's on the list... Michael, Maria, Alex... I'm on the list. You're not the only one in danger here...we all are. We need to help each other now. And you need to trust me, `cause somebody's out there right now. And anywhere you turn, he could be watching you.
(Michael's apartment. There's a hidden camera recording him.)
(At the school. Michael is sneaking into the Administrative Records room.)
Michael: What the hell are you doing here?
Maria: I saw you sneaking in. What are you doing here?
Michael: Nothing.
Maria: Michael, if you want to be a couple, you've got to learn how to trust me. `K, that's how a relationship works. No secrets. So either give it to me straight, or you're not going to be giving it to me at all.
Michael: Fine, I'm checking out the new girl.
Maria: Tess? Why?
Michael: That's classified.
Maria: Does this have anything to do with Max? I knew it.
Michael: I'm just helping Max out, ok? It's not a big deal.
Maria: I thought we were a team.
Michael: What do you mean?
Maria: We've always investigated as a team.
Michael: Well, take it easy, Sherlock. When I find something, I'll let you know. Shhh.
Maria: Shhh.
(Michael is walking down a residential street. He goes up to one of the houses, and looks in the window. It's empty. A military vehicle pulls up and three guys get out and go into the house.)
(At the Crashdown.)
Liz: So listen, you know that assignment we have for BioLab?
Max: Yeah?
Liz: It was kinda left a little unclear whether Mr. Steigman wanted you to be Tess' lab partner for the day or from now on.
Max: I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Liz: Because, if you're going to be her lab partner, I'm kinda stuck without a partner so, I need to know.
Max: Well, I guess we'll just have to ask Mr. Steigman.
Liz: Right. It's just that we used to have an even number of students, and now that Tess is here, it's odd... it's an odd number. So, someone is going to be stuck without a partner, you know, mathematically.
Max: Could we just stop talking about Tess?
Michael: Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Can we talk?
Max: I'll be right back.
Liz: Ok.
Michael: She's a liar.
Max: Who?
Michael: Tess. I went to her house.
Isabel: You went to her house? Why?
Michael: I was passing by. The point is: it was empty. Not a single box. They don't live there. It's a cover.
Isabel: She did just move in, Michael. I can't believe I finally find a friend, and you just assume she's out to get us.
Michael: There were military people there, Isabel.
Isabel: Military people? Come on, Michael.
Michael: Two men with briefcases and suits, and one with an M-16. They don't work at the cheese factory.
Isabel: I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.
Michael: What?
Max: Nothing.
Michael: Maxwell.
Max: Valenti came to me this morning. Topolsky was k*lled in a f*re. He thinks everything Topolsky told us could be true, the alien hunter...everything.
Michael: Why the hell didn't you tell us?
Max: I didn't know if it was true. I didn't want anyone to panic and do something stupid.
Michael: Hey, I'm trying to figure out which problem to panic over: you having secret meetings with Valenti or your new girlfriend Tess bringing the Army to town. You asked for my help.
Max: Not exactly the kind of help I was looking for.
(Valenti walks in. He returns the orb.)
Sheriff: Before you can expect somebody to trust you, you've got to trust them first. Whenever you're ready, Max.
(He leaves.)
Michael: You're just making new friends all over the place, aren't you, Max? We need to do something about Tess.
Isabel: I'll check it out.
(At the Harding residence.)
Tess: Hi, come on in.
Isabel: How are you?
Tess: Doing good. I'm sorry about all the mess. The movers finally got here. We've been waiting for a week. I'm so glad to get out of the Tumbleweed Inn.
Isabel: This is incredible.
Tess: That's a landed Buddha from the Republic of Mirama. It's really old.
Mr. Harding: Over three hundred years. I thought I'd help you out, honey.
Tess: Thanks, daddy. He loves collecting all this junk from all over the world.
Mr. Harding: It isn't junk, Sweetie. So this must be the Isabel my Tessie's been raving about, huh?
Isabel: It's nice to meet you, Mr. Harding.
Mr. Harding: Oh, please..."Mr. Harding"...it makes me sound like my father. It's the 21st century after all, call me Ed.
Isabel: Ok, Ed. So, what is it that you do that takes you to all these places?
Mr. Harding: Well, if I tell you, I'd have to k*ll you.
Tess: He always says that. He thinks he's so funny.
Mr. Harding: I'm sorry, Isabel. Every once in awhile, I like to think of my job as glamorous.
Tess: Daddy works with the Army...tells them how to run things. That's why we're here in Roswell.
Mr. Harding: I'm helping them convert their abandoned base facilities into storage units. Glamorous it ain't. Be careful with that. That's an antique. Excuse me girls.
Tess: Oh, let me show you where that goes.
Isabel: Here, I'll get this one.
Tess: Put that down. I mean, you're my guest. You certainly shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting. Um, why don't I go get us a soda?
Isabel: Ok.
Mr. Harding: What is she doing here?
Tess: She's my friend. She showed up.
(Nighttime. It's raining and Max is standing outside the Crashdown where Liz is closing up.)
Liz: What's going on, Max?
Max: I wanna talk.
Liz: About what?
Max: Liz, about what Michael said before, about Tess, I just...I want you to know that I don't feel anything for her. I look at you, and I know you're the person I'm supposed to be with. I've always known it. What happened here that day, when you got sh*t, and how that brought us together...it's fate. Look at me. You're the one, Liz...the only one. I could never be with anyone else.
(He leaves.)
(Outside the Crashdown, Tess is waiting for Max.)
Tess: Max! My car broke down. Can you believe it?
Max: No.
Tess: No?
Max: No, I don't believe it.
Tess: What are you talking about?
Max: You planned this.
Tess: I planned what?
Max: To be out here.
Tess: Max, you sound a little crazy.
Max: You're doing something to me.
Tess: Max, my car broke down. I'm waiting for somebody to help me. I didn't plan anything.
Max: I'm with Liz.
Tess: I know you are.
Max: We belong together.
Tess: I'm sure that's true.
Max: I don't want anyone but her.
Tess: I'm sure you don't.
(They kiss. Max has another flash of him and Tess in the desert holding hands. Liz sees them through the door of the restaurant.)
Max: Who are you?
(At Michael's apartment.)
Michael: What are you doing here?
Max: I'm in trouble, Michael. I don't know what's happening to me.
Michael: I'm not in the mood right now, Maxwell.
Max: I kissed Tess.
Michael: You what?
Max: It was like... it was like something was controlling me.
Michael: What's wrong with you?
Max: I'm telling you that it isn't me.
Michael: First you talk to Valenti behind my back, and now you're kissing Tess behind Liz's.
Max: Michael, you've got to listen to me, please. You're the only one I can talk to about this. I'm telling you, there's something else going on!
Michael: Why come to me? Why not go talk to your new buddy Valenti about it, alright?
Max: Would you leave it alone, already? He gave us back the orb. Maybe he isn't just out to get us.
Michael: Yeah, right. Sure. He's on our side. Why don't we just tell him everything?
Max: I didn't tell him anything. Can't you understand that?
Michael: No, the thing I can't understand right now is that I used to admire you. You were solid, someone I could trust. Even more that I could trust myself. And Liz trusted you. I don't know who you are anymore, Maxwell. So, why don't you get the hell out of my house, alright?
Max: No Michael, listen to me.
Michael: Take your hands off of me.
Max: Listen to me! Listen to me! Michael.
(The find a small camera Velcro-ed to the top of Michael's fridge.)
Michael: What the hell is that?
(At the Crashdown.)
Max: It's definitely a camera.
Isabel: Someone's been watching us?
Michael: Valenti.
Max: It's not Valenti, Michael.
Michael: He's sucking you in Max. You don't even know it. He's watching us...always has been. Now he's just using toys.
Max: Expensive toys. This would wipe out the budget for the Roswell PD for the entire year.
Michael: Maybe it's Tess and her father. If they're FBI, they'd have access. We should check the out some more.
Isabel: I already have. Her house was empty because they were waiting for the movers. They were staying at a hotel. Their stuff hadn't come yet. I saw the moving van. I saw the boxes. And her dad was normal...totally normal...a little dorky, but normal.
Michael: What about the Army van outside her house? And those guys in the suits.
Isabel: He's a consultant for the military. That's his job.
Michael: Yeah, "consultant" is just another fancy word for "spy".
Max: So there's absolutely nothing suspicious?
Isabel: No. Well there was this one thing. I picked up this box of photos to try and help out. She grabbed it from me. She got really weird.
(Liz walks in and walks right past Max.)
Max: Liz?
Isabel: What was that about?
Michael: That guy's got bigger problems than Valenti and the FBI put together.
(At the lockers in the back of the restaurant.)
Max: Liz.
Liz: I saw you, Max.
Max: Liz, it's not what you think.
Liz: How could you kiss her?
Max: I don't know. I don't know what's happening.
Liz: You know all those thing you said to me, Max? Were any of them true?
Max: Liz... Liz, you've got to believe me. It wasn't me. She was there. She was waiting for me.
Liz: Oh, so it's her fault.
Max: Liz, something is going on with her. I'm telling you, something is not right about her.
Liz: Not right about her, Max! What are you talking about?
Max: The way I'm drawn to her, it's not just attraction. It's something else. Please, Liz, you have to have faith in me. In us.
Liz: To have faith?
Max: Yes. Until I figure out what's going on. I'm telling you, when I kissed her, I saw things. I had a flash.
Liz: You had a flash when you kissed her, Max? Like when you kissed me? I guess I'm not so special after all, huh?
(Outside Liz's bedroom. Liz is crying.)
Maria: Liz, are you ok?
Liz: No, no. Not really.
Maria: Michael told me you wanted to talk to somebody. That you needed a friend.
Liz: Max kissed Tess.
Maria: You're kidding! You're not kidding. No way, I cannot believe that. What a jerk. Liz, I'm sorry.
Liz: That's not even like him.
Maria: I just knew something was up with that chick. No, but you're right. That is so not like Max
Liz: I'm so confused, Maria.
Maria: What are you going to do?
Liz: I don't know.
Maria: You know that what ever you do, you know I've got your back, right.
Liz: Yeah, it's like everything I see with my eyes tells me that he's cheating on me. But everything I felt with my heart tells me that he's not.
Maria: I don't know if Max is lying or what, Liz, I just... I know that you usually go with your heart, so...
Liz: I've got to find out what going on.
(In the kitchen at the Crashdown.)
Alex: All right, come check this out.
Michael: Cool how'd you make that work?
Alex: It's a wireless system. It's an integrated camera with an microwave transmitter.
Michael: How'd you know about all this stuff?
Alex: Oh, I love this stuff. Are you kidding? Oh and listen, Michael, I mean... I don't mean to get all warm and fuzzy, but I'm really glad to be able to use what I know to help out... you know with... you know what we're doing.
Michael: Whatever.
Alex: Right. Anyway. It has a polarized high grain antenna with an a*t*matic iris, and a built-in wide-angle lens.
Michael: That explains why my nose looks so big.
Maria: Hey, guys. What's up?
Alex: Hey.
Michael: Nothing.
Maria: What is that, like p*rn, or something? Ooo, I'm not as flat as I thought I was!
Michael: It's a wide-angle lens, so...
Maria: Oh. So, you guys need that for... for what?
Michael: We're using it to spy on Tess, alright?
Maria: Don't you think that's a little drastic? I'm mean we already know they kissed.
Michael: No, we think it's much more than that. We think they're FBI.
Maria: What? What happened to partners? What happened to an even exchange of information, Michael?
Michael: I lied.
Maria: Well, you can't just break into someone's house and plant some camera.
Alex: I've already staked out a position in this abandoned warehouse that's in range.
Maria: No matter who you think these people are, you can't just break into their house. You've got to be smarter than that.
Michael: Well, if you're so smart, why don't you think of something?
(At the Harding residence.)
Tess: Liz!
Liz: Hi, can I come in?
Tess: Sure.
Liz: Thanks. Um, we kinda just need to talk.
Tess: About what?
Liz: About... you know...about Max. Actually, um, have you ever been in love, Tess?
Tess: I've gone out with a lot of guys, but we move around too much for me to get serious with just one.
Liz: I'm in love with Max.
Tess: I'm sorry. I don't know what that has to do with me.
Liz: I saw him kissing you.
Tess: I wish you hadn't. Honestly, I don't know where it came from. It surprised me as much as it did you.
Liz: Ok, look. The reason I came over here, Tess, is that I just the two of us should just, you know, talk about it and get it out in the open. `Cause I know that you're friends with Isabel, and that we would be seeing each other.
Tess: Liz, you're right. I've just started to make friends here. And I like Isabel, but I like you. And the last thing I want to do is wreck that.
Liz: You see, it's just, like, he's never done anything like this before.
Tess: It won't happen again, Liz.
Liz: I wish I could believe that.
Tess: Can I get you anything? A water? A soda?
Liz: A cup of tea would be great.
Tess: Sure.
(She hides the camera under the Buddha statue.)
Liz: Ok the box is here. I'm going to go check it out.
(Mr. Harding walks in.)
Mr. Harding: What are you doing?
Liz: Oh, um, Mr. Harding!
(She knocks over the statue in which she'd hidden the camera.)
(At the warehouse.)
Michael: What happened?
Alex: The camera's d*ad.
Maria: Oh my God!
(At the Harding residence.)
Liz: I'm sorry, Mr. Harding. Um, you know...I was just admiring it. I didn't mean to...
Mr. Harding: Accidents happen.
Tess: What was that? Oh my God, Dad.
Liz: Please let me just help you clean this up.
Mr. Harding: We'll get it later.
Liz: No, really, I insist.
Mr. Harding: We'll get it later! We were getting ready to have dinner. Why don't you join us?
Liz: Um.
Mr. Harding: Please. I insist.
Liz: Yeah, dinner would be great. Let me just call my mom.
(At the warehouse.)
Michael: We've got to get over there.
Alex: And do what?
Michael: Get her out!
Isabel: You're the one who keeps telling us how dangerous these people are.
Michael: You just want to leave her there?
Maria: No he's right. We've got to do something. We sent her in. We're responsible.
Isabel: What are we supposed to do, just break down the door? What if everything's fine? What if everything's normal?
Michael: Are you willing to take that chance with Liz's life?
Alex: No.
Maria: No.
Michael: Then let's go.
Maria: Wait. You have to promise me that you are not going to do anything crazy. You're not going to put her life in danger.
Michael: I won't.
Alex: Ok, so if we get there and everything seems cool, then let's just let her play it out.
Michael: Good idea.
Isabel: Wait, what about Max?
(At the Evans residence. A phone is ringing.)
Max: Hello?
Liz: Hi, Mom.
Max: Liz?
Liz: Yeah, it's me, Liz. I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm over at Tess' house.
Max: What are you doing at Tess' house?
Liz: Mr. Harding's insisting that I stay for dinner.
Max: Liz, what's going on? Is something wrong?
Liz: Um, you...you know that thing we were talking about yesterday, Mom? You're right.
Max: Liz, stay put, I'll be right there. I won't let anything happen to you.
Liz: That'd be great.
Max: I'll be right there!
Liz: Thanks, Mom.
(Outside the Harding residence.)
Maria: There she is.
Isabel: What are they doing in there?
Alex: Passing the mashed potatoes.
(Inside the Harding residence.)
Mr. Harding: So, Liz, what do your parents do?
Liz: They own a restaurant here in town.
Tess: Liz works there, too.
Mr. Harding: Terrific. What's the name of it?
Liz: Um... The CrashDown.
Mr. Harding: What kind of food do they have?
Tess: Alien specials.
Mr. Harding: Ah. So, do you believe in aliens?
Liz: It's just a theme.
Mr. Harding: So, what do you do when you're not working at the restaurant, Liz?
Liz: I... I'm just busy with schoolwork mostly.
Mr. Harding: And is there a young man in the picture?
Liz: Oh... well...
Tess: Dad!
Mr. Harding: Well, surely a girl as pretty as you must have a boyfriend.
Liz: That's very sweet of you.
Mr. Harding: So what's he like?
Liz: He's just... uhhh..... he... he's a guy.
Mr. Harding: What's his name?
Tess: His name is Max.
(Outside the Harding residence.)
Isabel: Max! How did you know we were here?
Max: I didn't. Liz called me.
Maria: What! When did she call you?
Max: We have to get her out of there!
Michael: We can't go in there.
Max: Why not?
Maria: We could make things worse, that's why not.
Max: How could they be any worse than they already are? If that really is the FBI in there, who knows what they'll do to her?
Michael: And if you go in there, we know what they'll do to you.
Max: That's a chance I'll have to take.
(Inside the Harding residence.)
Mr. Harding: Maybe I should go clean that up, huh?
Liz: Please, let me do that.
Mr. Harding: It's ok.
Liz: No, really. I feel absolutely horrible about it. Um, could I... Could I pay for it?
Mr. Harding: Don't worry. Homeowner's insurance.
Liz: No, please, let me...
Mr. Harding: I said no!
(Doorbell rings. Mr. Harding gets up to answer it. Liz grabs the camera.)
Max: Hi.
Mr. Harding: Hello.
Tess: Max!
Mr. Harding: Max? Liz's Max?
Tess: Dad.
Mr. Harding: How did you know Liz was here?
Max: Actually, I came to see Tess.
Tess: But we have nothing to talk about.
Max: But I think we do.
Tess: Look, whatever you think happened before was a mistake - that you made.
Max: I think we both made a mistake.
Liz: Ok, well whatever happened, it's over now, so let's just go.
Max: Liz, I want you to go so that Tess and I can talk.
Liz: Max, Tess and I have already straightened everything out. I'm not leaving without you.
Max: Well, I guess we should be going then.
Mr. Harding: But the night's not over.
Liz: Yes, it is.
Mr. Harding: Aw, we're going to have to do this again sometime, Liz.
(They leave and meet up with everyone outside.)
Maria: Are you ok?
Liz: You know that box? It is just full of pictures...pictures of Max.
Isabel: Let's go.
(Valenti is hiding in a car taking pictures with a zoom lens of the activities outside the Harding residence.)
(At the Warehouse.)
Max: You put yourself in danger. Thanks for believing in me.
Liz: I went on faith...a lot of it.
Max: I know.
Liz: You know, you still kissed her, Max. I don't know if there'll ever be reason enough to explain that.
Isabel: Max, Michael, come look at this.
Max: What's going on?
Isabel: I'm not sure.
Michael: What the hell.
Liz: Oh, my God.
(Scene fades as everyone sees Tess restoring the broken statue through the video camera) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x17 - Tess, Lies & Videotape"} | foreverdreaming |
"Four Square"
Episode: 19
19th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA18
Written by: Jonathan Frakes
Original Air Date: Wednesday April 24, 2000
(Episode begins with an up close sh*t of Isabel on a starry night.)
Isabel: I'm finally ready to let someone in. And I want him to be you.
Alex: I've been waiting to hear that, Isabel. And I want to be the only one for you, cause you're the only one for me.
(Michael appears behind them as they kiss. Suddenly she is in the desert with all the symbols on the ground. Michael is beckoning to her, then Alex.)
Alex: Isabel. Isabel.
(At the warehouse.)
Alex: Isabel, wake up. She's moving around.
Isabel: Ok. Ok.
(Isabel picks up a phone and dials.)
(Outside the Harding Residence, Michael and Maria are sleeping in the Jetta.)
Maria: Hello?
Isabel: Maria, are you up?
Maria: Yeah, we're awake.
Isabel: She's leaving now
Maria: We're on it.
(In a hallway at school.)
Liz: I knew you weren't really falling in love with her.
Max: That's the truth, Liz. You've got to believe that.
Liz: I do. And now we know it's really Nasedo.
Max: And whoever Nasedo really is, it's using Tess' body to get to me.
Liz: Right. To manipulate you.
Max: I can't control myself when I'm with her.
(A phone rings.)
Liz: Yeah, we're in position. Ok. We got it. She's in the parking lot headed this way.
(They follow Tess until she goes into the girls' restroom.)
Liz: Ok, I'll take it from here.
Max: Wait, I don't want you going in there alone.
Liz: Max, she still thinks I'm just your girlfriend. She'll never suspect anything.
Max: She's dangerous. Never forget that.
(In the girls' bathroom.)
Liz: Tess! I thought I saw you come in here.
Tess: Look, Liz, I thought we got everything straightened out last night.
Liz: We did?
Tess: I mean about Max. We're going to try and be friends, right? All of us.
Liz: Right, friends.
Tess: Then tell me, why is everybody following me?
(Opening Credits)
(At a merry-go-round somewhere.)
Maria: So she didn't hurt you, or thr*at you?
Liz: No. She acted totally innocent. I'm telling you, she has no idea that we found out about her.
Max: We can't trust anything she says.
Michael: Well, maybe we should trust her. This is the fourth alien we've been waiting for our whole lives.
Isabel: I don't think that anyone, or anything that would pretend to be a teenage girl in order to seduce Max is on our side.
Max: Isabel's right. It's a shape-shifter. Who knows what other powers it has that we don't have. The three of us, no matter what we may discover about ourselves...we were raised human. Nasedo's an alien. Nasedo's k*lled. And judging from the way I felt when I was with Tess, it definitely has some kind of power over us.
Isabel: Yeah, I felt it too. Like I was drawn to her for some specific reason. Like I had to let her in.
Liz: Isabel, you have to fight it.
Max: You too, Michael.
Michael: You just want to deny who we really are?
Max: I want us to stay who we really are! Don't you?
Alex: I'm the one least involved. The one she won't suspect. I'll get close to her.
Isabel: No! Stay away from her, Alex. Besides, we don't even know if Nasedo is Tess anymore.
Max: Could be anyone at anytime.
Liz: We can only trust each other, now more than ever.
Alex: We can't just sit around and wait for her to do something to one of us.
Isabel: Max, Michael and I will find out all we can about her, ok? We won't give her the chance to surprise us. Please, Alex, I don't want anything bad to happen to you.
Maria: Wait, what are you guys going to do?
Max: We're going to keep following her. Hope she reveals more to us before she finds out we're on to her. We still got the camera in her house, remember?
(At Sheriff Valenti's office.)
Mr. Harding: But who? Who would plant this in my house?
Sheriff: You say you're new in town?
Mr. Harding: That's right.
Sheriff: House have any previous occupants?
Mr. Harding: Brand spanking new, Sheriff.
Sheriff: You mind if I ask what line of work you're in Mr. Harding?
Mr. Harding: Government consultant, the boring stuff, facilities management, that kind of thing. No special clearances, no matters of national security, if that's what you're thinking.
Sheriff: You ever have any contact with the FBI?
Mr. Harding: What? Oh, Lord no, Sheriff. I'm just a guy who's trying to do his job and get along in a new town, that's all. Nobody's been in that house but me, my daughter and the movers...oh, and a couple of her friends from school.
Sheriff: I have heard some stories about unscrupulous moving companies in town. Staking out your place for future robberies, that sort of thing. I'll tell you what, leave your information with my deputy outside. I promise I'll get to the bottom of this.
Mr. Harding: Well, thank you, Sheriff. I feel safe in your hands.
(At the Administration office at school.)
Isabel: Hi. I'm on the Sunshine Committee this year, and we were wondering if we could just get...
Administrator: The what?
Isabel: The Sunshine Committee. You know, kinda like the Welcome Wagon for new students. Helps them get along and fit into a new place.
Administrator: I've been here eight years. I've never heard of a Sunshine Committee.
Isabel: I know. Isn't that terrible? A few of us though it was time to start one up. You can never have too much sunshine, don't you think? Anyway, there's a new student that just started here, Tess Harding, she's our first project. And I though maybe I could get some information about her from you. You know, her class schedule, something from her last school...anything personal that might make her feel more at home.
Administrator: Well, I'll have to get permission from the Vice Principal.
Isabel: Right. Ok.
(Isabel goes behind the desk, and pulls up Tess' record while the Administrator is away.)
(At the Crashdown.)
Liz: So that's it. Science Lab third period, hallway between fourth and fifth, and P.E.
Max: I think that's all.
Liz: And there was no other contact? She didn't even look at you?
Max: Nothing.
Maria: She's playing hard to get. It's a classic move. She ignores you, thinking it's going to make you crazy and force you to go to her.
Liz: Are you still drawn to her, Max?
Max: No.
Liz: Hm.
Maria: Which only further necessitates the implementation of my plan.
Max: Wait. What plan?
Maria: Oh, Operation Never-Leave-Max-Alone-For-An-Instant. That way one of us is always around in case she works the voodoo on you again.
Max: I don't need a babysitter.
Maria: No, you're right. What you need is a bodyguard – at all times.
Michael: I don't cook for myself, you know.
Liz: You know, Max, Maria's right. We don't know what she'll do to you if she ever gets you alone.
Max: I told you, you don't have to worry.
Liz: I know. Max, I'm not saying any of this because I'm jealous. It's just that...she's an alien, Max.
Max: So am I.
Liz: Yeah but, what if she's...
Max: The bad kind? One of the monsters people have been so afraid of since the crash?
Liz: I can't help it. You know, no matter how much I get to know you, Tess, Nasedo, I...she scares me.
Max: That's why we won't let her win. So go change, we'll go back to the garage and watch her on the monitor.
Sheriff: Isn't that against the law, Mr. Evans? I wish you'd stop doing that...hiding things from me. ‘Cause you see, I always know more than you think I do. Ed Harding found that inside his house. Now I know you put it there, and I know it's special issue FBI equipment, so the question is: how'd you get your hands on it in the first place? You know what it tells me? That Pierce and the alien hunting unit of the FBI are here in Roswell in full force, and they're paying special attention to you. How am I doing? I need you people to remember something...all of you. The more I know, the safer you'll be.
Michael: Don't even think about it Maxwell.
(At the Evan's residence.)
Diane: Oh, look, (laughing). Wait, look at this one.
Tess: Oh that is so cute.
Diane: Oh, gosh. Oh, Izzy. Hi, honey. Your new friend, Tess, stopped by, and I just got to chatting, and the next thing I know, I'm telling all kinds of stories about you and Max when you were little.
Isabel: What kind of stories?
Diane: Oh, um...the road trip to Florida...and the time Max brought home that snake. Do you remember that? Who could forget? Oh, and that silly clown show that the two of you used to put on for us.
Isabel: Mom, that's like our whole lives.
Tess: You're so lucky to have such a wonderful family, Isabel. There's so many happy memories.
Isabel: Yeah.
Diane: Listen, I'm sorry I rambled. Really. I, uh, I don't know. I start looking at pictures and the memories flood over me and I can't stop talking. So, I got to get to the market. You two have a good time, ok?
Isabel: Ok.
Diane: And, um, Tess, welcome to Roswell.
Tess: Thank you Mrs. Evans.
Diane: Oh, please, call me Diane, won't you? And know that you're welcome here anytime. Bye sweetheart.
Isabel: Bye. So I didn't really see you I school today.
Tess: I know, I saw you at the Administration office but I didn't have time to...
Isabel: God.
Tess: I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you nervous.
Isabel: You don't. You don't make me nervous.
Tess: I just want to be completely honest with you, Isabel. I feel the closest to you. You know, like we share something special. And that's why I want you to know the truth. I just don't want you to hate me for it.
Isabel: No, I...I couldn't
Tess: I have feelings for Max, Isabel. Strong feelings. I know Max loves Liz. That's what everyone tells me. But don't you ever get signals from someone Isabel?
Isabel: Signals?
Tess: You know... moments when you connect with someone. And there's no mistaking what's going on. Like no matter who you may be with, or what you may think, that you and this other person are destined to be together.
Isabel: No! No, never.
Tess: Well, that's the way I feel about Max, and those are the signals that I've been getting from him. Are you sure you've never felt that way about anyone? Pay more attention, Isabel. There are signs all around you.
(Isabel's bedroom.)
Isabel: She really scared me, Max. It was like I lost a few seconds of time, and when it was over, I wasn't even sure if what I remembered had happened or not. Is that what she did to you?
Max: Kind of. It was like she could make my mind go places I wasn't taking it.
Isabel: How about your body? I mean, did you feel like something inside of you was changing...like waking up?
Max: Something primal.
Isabel: Instinctive.
Max: Something not human.
(Michael opens the window.)
Max: What's wrong?
Michael: I don't know. You tell me.
Isabel: I called him. I didn't think any of us should stay alone tonight.
(Isabel has a dream about her and Michael kissing in the desert where the symbols are on the ground. She and Michael both wake up gasping at the same time.)
Max: Michael, what is it?
Michael: Isabel.
Max: Are you ok? What did you see?
Isabel: It was only a dream.
Michael: It was only a dream.
(Downstairs at the Evans residence. They are looking at Max's drawing of the cave symbols.)
Michael: That's the one.
Isabel: Definitely.
Max: And you're sure you both had the same dream: the rock formation, the map on the ground, everything?
Michael: Yeah.
Max: Think! Was there anything else, anything unusual? I mean...what were you guys doing out in the middle of the desert?
Isabel/Michael: Nothing!
Isabel: Nothing important. There was this one other thing...when Tess was here yesterday, when she told me to look for signs, she made that symbol out of sugar cubes.
Max: So it means something. If we just knew how to read this!
Isabel: Tell him, Michael.
Max: Tell me what?
Michael: I thought I figured it out once, but…
Max: But what?
Michael: I was wrong.
Isabel: What if you weren't? Michael used the V constellation to navigate the symbols.
Max: How did you know how to do that?
Michael: I just knew. But it didn't work.
Max: But what didn't work?
Isabel: The night you were drunk, Michael and I went to the public library. That's where the symbol was supposed to lead. We though that if Nasedo left us a symbol at the cave, then we should send one back to him.
Max: Why didn't you tell me about this, Michael?
Michael: You mean why didn't I get your approval?
Max: Do you realize what you did? That's why Nasedo is here. It's why he's pretending to be Tess. You led him right to us.
Michael: Yeah, I thought that was the goal.
Max: The goal is to stay in control. It always has been. Discovery on our terms...no one else's. I mean, this whole search you've been on, didn't you ever think it could lead to this?
Michael: Lead to what? An answer to every question we ever had? Maybe Nasedo is here to make things better. Oh, I forgot, what could be better than your comfortable little life in Roswell, New Mexico. Why are you so scared to be alien?
Max: Why are you so scared to be human?
Isabel: That's enough, both of you. Do you ever stop to ask how I feel? God. No, you're too busy deciding who's right to notice that this is happening to me, too. Oh, God. Whatever Tess did when she was here yesterday, the sugar cubes, the...I think she made me have that dream.
Max: Let's just try to be prepared. You never know when these dreams may come again.
(At school in the Science lab.)
Liz: There it is, Aries.
Max: Michael's been doing this all his life, you know. Always thinking he knows better than us, but always just getting us into more trouble.
Liz: Families can be hard.
Max: I don't even know if that's what we are. I mean, that's what we've pretended to be for so long, but what if Nasedo tells us something different. Does Michael even think about these things?
Liz: You are who you choose to be. Just like...just like you're with who you choose to be with.
Max: I really want to believe that.
Liz: Let's go look it up. Let's see...Aries, it's the first sign of the Zodiac, the key astronomical element in many ancient traditions involving, spring, the equinox, pagan ceremonies, and even Indian fertility rituals. But it's not quite the same V shape you described.
Max: Try creating a constellation pattern for today's date.
Liz: Oh. What was it like...um, you know, kissing her?
Max: It was upsetting. It made me feel things about myself I didn't like. Like there was this whole side of me I never even knew about.
Liz: The alien side.
Max: Maybe.
Liz: Oh, wow, it's Venus. When it's in the right place in the sky, it completes the V shape. It started moving into this formation after the last full moon.
Max: About the time that Tess showed up.
Liz: Oh my God, what is she doing with Kyle?
Max: Whatever it is, it can't be good.
(In a hallway at school.)
Michael: Hey.
Maria: Hey right back at you.
Michael: I've been thinking.
Maria: Oh, great this usually involves me having to get my car towed.
Michael: What? I'm talking about us.
Maria: Us?
Michael: Yeah, our relationship.
Maria: Wait, I've never heard you use that word in a sentence before.
Michael: Can we get serious here?
Maria: Whoa, are you ok?
Michael: I just...I didn't sleep much last night.
Maria: Because you were thinking about our relationship?
Michael: Yeah.
(In the janitor's closet.)
Alex: Whoa, hey what is the emergency?
Isabel: Alex, I've been thinking.
Alex: Oh, this can't be good.
Isabel: You know how I said I wanted to take things slow?
Alex: The word glacial comes to mind.
Isabel: Maybe it's time to melt the ice.
Alex: Whoa, wh... what?
Isabel: I'm ready. For a relationship, and I want it to be with you…not with anyone else I know.
Alex: Well...there's someone else?
Isabel: No! No, absolutely not. Only you.
Alex: Oh, well...you know...
(In a hallway at school.)
Michael: I think that we should only see each other.
Maria: Wait. As opposed to all the other relationships we're having with people?
Michael: What do you mean by that?
Maria: No...I mean that we already are only seeing each other. Right?
Michael: Yeah.
Maria: Right.
Michael: So?
Maria: I mean, unless you've got someone on the side.
Michael: No!
Maria: Ok.
Michael: No. So. Well, then if we're already doing it, let's make it official.
Maria: Official. Like going steady, or something?
Michael: Going steady.
Maria: Ok.
Michael: I just don't want anyone to ever come between us.
Maria: Ok. You should have more of these tortured sleepless nights.
Michael: Let's not talk about last night anymore.
(In the janitor's closet.)
Alex: This is like...whoa, this is monumental. You know. I mean we...we've got to go about this the right way. You know, romance. Um, how, uh, how about tonight?
Isabel: How about right now?
Alex: Ok.
(They kiss. In the hallway, Maria and Michael are also kissing, and drawing a crowd.)
Maria: Michael.
Michael: Let's go in here.
Maria: Ok.
(They open the door to the janitor's closet where Alex and Isabel spring apart.)
Isabel: Alex and I are together now.
Michael: Maria and I are going steady.
Isabel: Great.
Michael: Great.
Maria: Must be something in the water.
(At the Evans residence.)
Isabel: Thanks for bringing me home. I'm sorry you didn't get to finish eating your food.
Alex: Oh, that's ok. I can have a Galaxy Melt at anytime. I know the cook, remember? Besides, that's what boyfriends are for.
Isabel: I'm just so tired.
Alex: Well, you said you didn't sleep well last night...maybe you're the one who's hungry.
Isabel: Oh, I couldn't eat right now if you paid me. I just...I just need to lay down. You know, just take a little nap.
Alex: You're beautiful, you know that? Sweet dreams.
(Isabel has another dream of her and Michael kissing. She also sees an unborn child.)
(At Michael's apartment. He's trying to map the location of the four squared symbol.)
Michael: Where the hell are you?
(Tess shows up outside his window, and draws the four squared symbol on the glass.)
Michael: What does that mean? Where is it?
Tess: You already know. You've been there before.
(Michael has a vision of himself as a child running past a sign for Puhlman Ranch.)
(At the Crashdown.)
Maria: Come on, come on, come on. What else?
Liz: Um… She has a 3.0 average from one school. 3.2 from...and...what, she has a 3.4!
Maria: Ok, enough with the grade crap...any unusual evaluations? Like psyche stuff?
Liz: My God, yeah, here it is: she's really a shape-shifting alien also known as Nasedo.
Max: You won't find anything wrong in that file. Tess Harding is the perfect teenaged girl. Nasedo covers his tracks.
(Kyle enters the Crashdown.)
Liz: Oh, he came. Look, I've got to go talk to him about Tess.
Max: He won't listen to you.
Liz: You know, he might. He trusted me once.
Maria: Did you listen to him when he warned you about Max?
Liz: I can't let him just get sucked into this without trying. Uh, thanks for coming. Can we talk?
Kyle: About what?
Liz: Well, I saw you with that new girl, Tess.
Kyle: Oh, man! What a knockout, huh? Can't b*at a blonde. Oh, sorry.
Liz: No, she is...she is really nice. What were you guys talking about?
Kyle: Why are you so interested?
Liz: Well, it's just that I've heard some things about her.
Kyle: Oh yeah, what things?
Liz: Just, you know… the way she treats guys. She like leads them on, and then she just drops them cold.
Kyle: Yeah… I guess it takes one to know one.
Liz: Well, just be careful with her. You know, if I were you, I would just stop seeing her altogether.
Kyle: What, is this like a jealousy thing?
Liz: No.
Kyle: Ok, so it's just an everybody-deserves-to-be-happy-but-Kyle thing.
Liz: No. No, Kyle. It's not. Please trust me, ok? I know it sounds strange, but I promise you it's for your own good.
Kyle: So it would really bother you if I just spent a little more time with Tess? Say like we happen to have a study date later tonight, or something?
Liz: Kyle, there's things about her that you don't even know.
Kyle: Well, I like what I've seen so far.
Liz: Just don't be alone with her, ok? She could be using you.
Kyle: That's exactly what I had in mind, but just in case you're right, what about the library? Hmm? Think I'll be safe there?
Liz: The public library?
(At the public library.)
Liz: Do you really think she's using Kyle as bait, I mean, just to get us to follow her here?
Max: It's the only thing that makes sense. Look, if this is a trap, I want you to get Kyle and get out of here.
Liz: But Max, that's why I'm here. If Tess tries any mind games, I'll be here to snap you out of it.
Max: It's them.
Liz: Why Kyle?
Max: To make sure we'd notice.
Liz: Why doesn't Nasedo come up to you all this time?
Max: Why doesn't the Sheriff just come and pick us up? Or the FBI? No one's sure enough about us. Not even Nasedo. The risk of exposure's too great.
Liz: Ok, you go left, I'll go right.
Max: Wait, Liz.
Liz: You're the one she's after, remember?
Kyle: So...ancient languages… what does this have to do with our English assignment?
Tess: Absolutely nothing.
Kyle: I was hoping you'd say that.
Tess: There's just this one book I need for my history class.
Kyle: Well, what do you say we start speaking the most ancient language known to man?
Tess: I think it's on the top shelf. Would you mind helping me up? I've almost got it.
Kyle: So, what language is this?
Tess: It's a lost language.
Kyle: Then no one will mind if we don't find it.
Tess: Time to go.
Kyle: But we just got here.
Liz: What is it, Max?
Max: Something about us. She wanted me to see it. That's why she brought us here.
(In Max's bedroom.)
Michael: Puhlman Ranch.
Max: What?
Michael: The four squared symbol on the map, that's where it is.
Max: I've never even heard of it.
Michael: That's because the government took it over in 1947. Three guesses why.
Max: Close to the crash site?
Michael: It was the crash site, Maxwell. But it's not on any maps any more. It's like they erased any trace of it. But I can find it. The cave painting will lead us right to it.
Max: And you just figured this out all by yourself
Michael: Yeah.
Max: Michael, if Nasedo is doing anything to you, you can't trust it.
Michael: Hey, I remembered it, ok? I had a flash. You're not the only the only on who gets them. So, what happened at the library?
Max: Nothing.
Michael: What she just took Kyle there for no reason?
Max: I said nothing happened. We'll talk to Isabel in the morning. You better spend the night here again.
(Isabel is having another dream; this time she and Michael are happy parents. She wakes up.)
Isabel: You've seen them too, haven't you?
Michael: The dreams.
Isabel: The rock formation...the symbol.
Michael: The two of us.
Isabel: The baby. I think it's all true, Michael. I think I'm pregnant with your child. How can this be?
Michael: Something weird like this had to happen sooner than later. No matter what Max wants to think, we're not human, Isabel.
Isabel: Oh my God, Michael, what are we going to do?
(In Max's room. He is dreaming of Tess and the symbols.)
Tess: It's time. You understand, don't you?
Max: Tell me. Tell me what I'm feeling.
Tess: I'll show you everything, and you'll remember.
(They drive off into the desert.)
Max: This is it. This is what Michael saw in his hallucination.
Tess: We've all seen it. We've all been here before.
Max: What do you mean, "we"?
Tess: Hold me, Max. You'll remember.
Max: I remember you're a k*ller… starting from 1959.
Tess: What?
Max: William Atherton. The one who wrote the alien book? It was about you, wasn't it? He was your friend, but he thr*at to expose you, so you k*lled him, right?
Tess: What are you talking about?
Max: Then who was next? Everett Hubble's wife? An innocent woman died just because she got in your way.
Tess: I've never k*lled anyone.
Max: What about the other hand print pictures Valenti told us about? And how many other victims will there be after tonight? Alex? Maria? Liz!?
Tess: Nobody has to get hurt, Max.
Max: Sure, until you get what you want.
Tess: It's not just what I want, it's what's meant to be. It's all in here, Max. Our destiny.
Max: No! I am not like you. I live in this world. It's all I know! And I will not be a part of anything as evil as you.
Tess: Is that what you think I am?
Max: Show me who you really are. Don't hide behind this face.
Tess: I'm not hiding, Max.
Max: I said, show me! Shape-shift! Show me what you really look like...what I really look like.
Tess: God, Max, that's not who I am. That's not who I am. Think Max. You've seen my face before. You know who I am.
(Max has a vision of himself coming out of the pod. Isabel and Michael were already out. There was a fourth pod with a girl with blond curls. They left her there.)
Tess: You know who I am now, don't you. You understand our destiny.
Michael: Hey. What the hell did you do to him? To all of us?
Max: Michael, stop it. She's not Nasedo.
Isabel: Then who is she, Max?
Max: She's one of us.
(Scene fades out with an overhead sh*t of the 4 aliens in the four square formation) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x18 - Four Square"} | foreverdreaming |
"Max to the Max"
Episode: 20
20th Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA19
Written by: Toni Graphia
Original Air Date: Wednesday May 1, 2000
(Scene opens where Four Squared left off. Max just told Isabel and Michael that Tess was one of them.)
Michael: What do you mean, she's one of us?
Isabel: Max, what is it?
Michael: Max.
(They follow Max to the cave with the pods that he remembered. He opens the door.)
Michael: How did you…?
Max: I just knew.
Isabel: Max, we can't…
Max: We have to Isabel. We have to find out.
Isabel: What is this place, Max?
Tess: It's where we were all born.
Isabel: No. No. No, I don't believe this.
Max: Isabel wait. We can't leave her alone, Michael. Come on.
(Isabel and Max leave the cave.)
Tess: You want to know, don't you? You want all the answers. I can give them to you, but first you have to convince them that I'm not your enemy. Max didn't tell you about this, did he? Take it. It will prove to them that I don't want to hurt you. If you convince them then I can explain everything.
(Michael leaves with the alien book. Nasedo materializes out of the wall.)
Nasedo: How could you bring them up here like this? You know the Special Unit is close. You saw that camera. Who do you think put it on them in the first place? Our friend, Pierce.
Tess: Oh yeah, so why don't you just k*ll him? According to Max, you've done that before.
Nasedo: What has he been telling you? You're going to trust him over me? Listen, you and I have spent a lot of time together. Now I don't want to say we're family…
Tess: You're not my family. You never will be. Max, Michael and Isabel are.
Nasedo: Fine. Go have your little reunion. If I have to k*ll people, I k*ll people. Pierce is dangerous. You all still need me if you expect to survive him.
Tess: You're really scared of Pierce, aren't you? More than the others.
Nasedo: He's smarter. He's closer to the four of you than anyone's ever been.
(At an undisclosed location. Someone is watching a video of Isabel and Michael in Michael's apartment supposedly taken with the hidden surveillance camera.)
Isabel: That would mean that each of us has this information in some part of us we're just not conscious of.
Michael: Or Liz is getting the messages from somewhere or someone else.
Isabel: Nasedo?
(Tape rewinds.)
Michael: …messages from somewhere or someone else.
Isabel: Nasedo?
(Credits.)
(In the desert, Max Michael and Isabel are looking through the alien book.)
Michael: You knew about this all along.
Max: Liz and I saw Tess take it from the library.
Isabel: It's some kind of strange language.
Michael: Why would you keep something like this from us?
Isabel: Oh my god!
Max: What?
Isabel: This is me!
Michael: It's all of us.
Isabel: How did they know what we would look like?
Michael: ‘Cause we were designed.
Max: That's impossible, Michael.
Michael: Whether you want to face it or not, we weren't born, we were engineered.
Max: Do you understand what you're saying? What that means we are? I won't believe that.
Isabel: I think he's right. I mean, we're paired just like in the pods. Max and Tess, me and Michael.
Max: No, I belong with Liz.
Michael: Not according to this.
Isabel: All that stuff Tess was talking about: signals and destiny, that's what this is. You and me and the baby, that what this is.
Max: The what?
Michael: Isabel thinks she's having a kid.
Max: Yours? Now who's keeping things from who?
Isabel: It's not what you think. We were never really together. It all happened in those dreams we were having.
Max: You can't get pregnant from a dream.
Isabel: How do you know? We don't know how we get pregnant. All I know is that something is happening inside of my body, and we don't know what it is.
Michael: I'm going to Tess. She's the one person who could tell us what the hell is going on.
Max: No. You can't just go asking her things. We can't trust her any more than we can trust Nasedo.
Michael: They may be the only ones who can help us. Max.
Max: I'll go. Look at the pictures. If she is going to talk to anyone, it'll be me.
Isabel: I thought you just said we can't trust her.
Max: Who said anything about trusting her?
Isabel: What are you saying?
Max: I'm going to get her to tell me what's happening to you no matter what.
(In a hallway at school.)
Tess: I had a feeling one of you would come. I'm glad it was you.
Max: Michael said you wanted us to trust you, so here I am.
Tess: What changed your mind?
Max: (He shows her the alien book.) I want to know what's in it. I want to know everything.
Tess: Are you sure?
Max: I've thought about it. I'm ready.
Tess: Let's go somewhere.
(In Sheriff Valenti's office.)
Deputy: Here's that file you wanted.
Sheriff: Anything interesting?
Deputy: Checks out, Sheriff. Edward M Harding, civilian consultant, transferred here from Ft. McClellan near Birmingham, AL. Before that, US Army Material Command in Alexandria, VA. Divorced, one child.
Fisher: Sheriff?
Sheriff: Can I help you?
Fisher: Uuh, Deputy Fisher. You requested me.
Sheriff: Come again?
Fisher: Deputy Dave Fisher. Sent down from Santa Fe. Uuh, took me off traffic violations, told me you needed more bodies.
Sheriff: I requested an extra man about six months ago; they said they didn't have any money in the budget.
Fisher: I guess they found some.
Sheriff: Listen, Deputy, I think I've got the traffic around here pretty much under control, so why don't you scoot on back to Santa Fe?
Fisher: With all due respect sir, I do have my orders. And I just put a deposit down on an apartment this morning, they've already outfitted me and…
Sheriff: All right, all right. We'll straighten this out later.
Fisher: Thank you. Is there anything I can do in the meantime to help you?
Sheriff: Yeah. Coffee's been getting that metallic taste lately. Maybe you could wash out the pot.
Fisher: Yes sir. Thank you.
Sheriff: Get Santa Fe on the phone. He'd better be who he says he is.
(In the kitchen at the Crashdown.)
Isabel: What if Max doesn't find anything out, or he does and it's than we thought?
Michael: Let' not go there until we know something.
Isabel: Oh god, Michael, I'm so scared.
Michael: You have Max, and you have me.
Isabel: I don't even know who you are anymore. I mean, are you my brother or my mate? I can't forget that dream, can you? You were so happy Michael. I've never seen you that happy.
Michael: Well, I've never been that happy before. (Maria overhears.)
Isabel: Is that what you want?
Michael: I don't know.
Isabel: Well, what is this going to do to everyone else: You and Maria, me and Alex?
Michael: Let's not think about that right now. I just want you to know that I'm not going to let you go through this alone. It's my baby too. Maybe this is the way things are meant to be. ‘K?
(On the street, Nasedo disguised as Mr. Harding slips into an alley and is followed by a guy in a suit.)
Nasedo: I was hoping it would be one of you. I need to send a message to Agent Pierce. (He kills the agent.)
(In the desert.)
Tess: I know it must have been a surprise finding out about me.
Max: We knew there was someone out there, but we thought it was Nasedo. So you do know him, then.
Tess: He was there when I came out of the pod, and he's taken care of me ever since.
Max: So he's our father?
Tess: Not really, Max.
Max: Then who is he?
Tess: I don't even know. I've been with him for ten years but everywhere we go, he changes into somebody different.
Max: Why?
Tess: Because we can't get caught. That's how we've survived.
Max: Why can he shape shift and we can't?
Tess: Because he doesn't have a human body like us, Max. He needs to hide who he really is.
Max: What does he really look like?
Tess: He's never let me see. Never lets me close to him at all.
Max: He's all you've ever had?
Tess: Yeah.
Max: That must have been hard.
Tess: It's been really lonely. He doesn't have a human side at all.
Max: I don't know what it would have been like for me if I didn't have Michael and Isabel.
Tess: But it's ok, ‘cause I found you. I mean all of you.
Max: The pictures in the book. The four of us, what do they mean?
Tess: You know what they mean, you feel it.
Max: I know I'm drawn to you. But I don't … I don't know you.
Tess: But you do, because we're the same. You knew me before you met me.
Max: What about the dreams?
Tess: You're having dreams?
Max: Sometimes.
Tess: About you and me?
Max: If we were together in a dream, does that mean… is that how we… mate?
Tess: No. We have to do it the human way. I hope that doesn't disappoint you. The dreams are to awaken us, to show us how it's meant to be. Do you understand?
Max: I think I do.
(At the Crashdown. Nasedo in the guise of Max comes in. NOTE: Nasedo remains Max for the rest of the episode.)
Nasedo: Liz, let's go.
Liz: Max. What's going on?
Nasedo: I'll tell you later. I'll tell you everything. But we've got to go, now.
Liz: Max, I'm just about to start my shift.
Nasedo: This is important.
Liz: Ok. Well, I guess… I guess I could leave for just a little while, let me just go tell Maria.
Nasedo: No. Don't. I'm tired of reporting to everybody. It's always been the six of us no matter what we do. This time I want it to be just me and you. We need this, Liz.
Liz: ‘K.
(Maria watches them leave. Max pulls up across the street in the jeep with Tess.)
Max: I have a lot to think about.
Tess: Take your time. I'm here for you.
(On the other side of the road.)
Liz: What's up with the jeep.
Nasedo: Transmission needs some work so they gave me this rental.
Liz: Where are we going?
Nasedo: It's a surprise.
(They drive off down the road.)
Liz: So tell me.
Nasedo: Tell you what?
Liz: Tell me everything. Isn't that what you said you were going to tell me?
Nasedo: I just wanted you to know, Liz, that nobody will ever come between us. Nobody.
Liz: Tell me something I don't know. (She kisses him.)
Nasedo: Well, if you keep that up, I'm going to have to pull over.
Liz: Is that a thr*at, or is that a promise?
(They pull of the road, and kiss. Liz gets a flash of black and white, desert, lightening, a d*ad woman… She breaks the kiss.)
Nasedo: What?
Liz: Nothing.
(Behind the Crashdown.)
Maria: Hey. Look, I heard something, and I gotta ask you about it, and I hope that the answer is some alien thing, ‘cause I can't imagine any other explanation that you could give…
Michael: What are you talking about?
Maria: The baby, Michael.
Michael: I can't talk about that.
Maria: Wait. You owe me an explanation, Michael.
Michael: It's not what you think.
Maria: Ok. I thought that you and Isabel were brother and sister. I mean, isn't that what you've always said? Now suddenly, you're sleeping together?
Michael: No, we're not sleeping together.
Maria: Really. Then how is there a baby?
Michael: I don't know.
Maria: How do you not know?
Michael: I just don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I mean I don't know what the hell it means; I don't know what I'm feeling…
Maria: Wait a minute. Feeling? Now you have feelings for her?
Michael: Maria, this isn't about you or me or our stupid relationship. This is about Isabel. Something is happening to her, and that's all I care about.
(Inside the Crashdown.)
Alex: So, I heard you have a situation.
Isabel: Who told you?
Alex: Maria.
Isabel: Maria knows?
Alex: Look, I just want you to know that if you're having trouble dealing with it, I'm here.
Isabel: Alex, you have no idea what's going on.
Alex: Does Michael love you?
Isabel: It's not that simple.
Alex: It should be.
Isabel: Alex, would you stop! We're not dealing with some troubled teen pregnancy, ok? We're talking about alien babies.
Alex: Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I've known that from the start? That if I decided to go forward with this that things might get weird. Look, you said that you were ready for a relationship. Whatever's going on now, I know that you meant it. I know that it was real.
Isabel: It was. It was real.
Alex: I'll be here when you need me.
(At Sheriff Valenti's office. Deputy Fisher is going through the Sheriff's file cabinet.)
Sheriff: What the hell are you doing, Deputy?
Fisher: Working the files…
Sheriff: That's private.
Fisher: I was just organizing them, sir. Color-coding them.
Sheriff: Your commanding officer in Santa Fe said that you're a bit of an overachiever. Listen, kid, from now on, just do as you're asked. Nothing more.
Fisher: Yes sir. Look Sheriff, I know you don't really want me around here, but I can prove to you…
Sheriff: You don't have to prove anything.
Fisher: Just like my father used to say.
Sheriff: Well, I'm not your father.
Fisher: I know, sir, but he was a sheriff, too.
Sheriff: Oh yeah? Where abouts?
Fisher: Las Vegas.
Sheriff: Tough job. Corruption, casinos…
Fisher: No, no, no. Las Vegas, New Mexico. But anyway, my daddy, he's gone now. He died in the line of duty. But umm…
Sheriff: Sorry.
Fisher: No. He always used to tell me, ‘Son, you got nothing to prove.' But he was wrong. A father sets a fine example like that for his son, it's only right he should try to live up to it.
Sheriff: I suppose.
Fisher: That your boy?
Sheriff: Yeah.
Fisher: He got any interest in the badge?
Sheriff: No.
Fisher: That's a shame.
Sheriff: You know, you did such a great job on that coffee pot, how'd you like to work on my truck?
Fisher: I'll get right on this, sir.
(At the Crashdown. Michael puts a glass of milk in front of Isabel.)
Michael: Calcium.
Isabel: Michael, this can't be.
Michael: I know. But why not?
(Max comes in and sits down.)
Max: Isabel, you're not pregnant.
Isabel: Are you sure?
Max: Tess says the dreams are just to guide us in our destinies. She says the constellations have aligned and awakened our biological drives but the usual methods still apply. You can't get pregnant from a dream. It's good news right?
Isabel: Yeah.
Michael: Really good news. What about this destiny thing? I mean are we still meant to pair up? You and Tess, me and Isabel?
Max: That's our choice. Michael.
Michael: I saw the book, Max, I'm not sure we have much to say about it.
Max: We control our own lives. I won't let any book tell me what to do.
Isabel: Well at least it's all over for now, right?
Michael: Yeah. Umm, I got someone to talk to. (To Maria.) False alarm, no baby.
Maria: Is Isabel all right?
Michael: Yeah.
Maria: Thank god.
Michael: Listen, that thing I said about our relationship being stupid, I didn't mean it.
Maria: Well, then, you shouldn't have said it.
Max: What, so everyone knows, even Liz?
Maria: You didn't tell Liz?
Max: I haven't seen her since this morning.
Maria: What are you talking about? You picked her up an hour ago. I saw you guys leave.
Max: I didn't pick her up. I just got here.
Maria: Max, I saw you.
(Going down the road.)
Liz: So, uhh, how… how long are we going to be gone, anyway?
Nasedo: How long do you want to be gone?
Liz: I really shouldn't miss too much more of my shift.
Nasedo: That's the least of our worries.
Liz: Did Tess do something to you?
(They pull over. Nasedo goes to the trunk as Liz's phone rings.)
Liz: Hello?
Max: Liz, it's me.
Liz: Who is this?
Max: It's me, Max. I don't know who you're with, but we're at the CrashDown. Tell us where you are. Liz? Liz? (Nasedo takes the phone from her and listens in.) Liz are you there? It's Max. (He hangs up.)
Nasedo: Now you know.
(He's dumped the body of the agent he k*lled earlier on the side of the road. They drive off.)
(Outside the Crashdown.)
Maria: I can't believe this. I can't believe Nasedo has her.
Max: We've got to find out where they are.
Alex: How are we going to do that?
Max: We've got to go to Valenti.
Michael: And tell him what? There's two Maxes. The good one's right here, but please help us catch his evil twin.
Alex: That's not what he means.
Michael: Then what are we going to say?
Max: I don't care what we say. Liz's life is at stake. Valenti is the only one with the resources. He could put out and APB, he can contact other towns.
Isabel: If we tell him, he'll know everything.
Max: I don't care anymore.
Michael: You can't make this decision by yourself, Max. Not this time.
Isabel: We all have to agree.
Max: Since when? Weren't you the one who went off with Topolski by yourself? Liz's life is in danger, and suddenly we've got rules.
Michael: No, there's always been rules: Tell no one. You're the one who broke that. You're not going to do that again.
Maria: Wait, wait, maybe we don't. Ok look, as far as Valenti knows, there's only one Max. That's you. So as far as he knows, you've taken Liz.
(At Valenti's office.)
Sheriff: What do you mean he's taken Liz?
Maria: Well, at first she wanted to go with him, thinking it was like a romantic getaway.
Alex: Yeah, but then he started getting strange. You know, at least that's what she said when she called us.
Maria: Yeah. She said that… that he was scaring her and that she wanted to go home but he wouldn't let her.
Alex: It's like he's kidnapped her or something.
Maria: Sheriff, I'm really scared. I mean, you know I wouldn't be here if I wasn't.
(Going down the road. Nasedo is talking into Liz's phone.)
Nasedo: Hello. FBI? Yes, Agent Pierce, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I know there's no Agent Pierce. Just let him know that I left him a little clue on Highway 380 to Hondo. Near mile marker 67.
Liz: Are you going to k*ll me, too?
Nasedo: Not as long as I still need you.
Liz: Do you have to be Max?
Nasedo: Oh, I like it. Being him. Being 17. I don't think you'd have been as friendly to Ed Harding.
Liz: That was you?
Nasedo: I've been a lot of different people you don't even know about. But right now, Max Evans is my most important role.
Liz: Why?
Nasedo: Because I'm the bait. Pierce is looking for Max, and I'm going to draw him to me.
Liz: So why do you even need me?
Nasedo: You're my collateral, my hostage.
Liz: What kind of hostage am I? Pierce would just k*ll me.
Nasedo: Oh, there's a thought. Actually, he wouldn't. See, he knows what Max did to you at the CrashDown that day. He wants you alive. You see, he need answers. You could come in extremely handy in terms of my survival, and even if you don't, you've been fantastic company. Time to leave another clue.
(They drive into a gas station. Nasedo leaves a silver handprint on one pump, and causes another one to explode as they drive away.)
(On the street in Roswell. Michael grabs Tess by the arm.)
Tess: Michael!
Michael: What's going on?
Tess: What are you talking about?
Michael: You know what I'm talking about. Nasedo has Liz.
Tess: I didn't know.
Michael: The hell you didn't. You want us to trust you, but how can we if you don't tell us what you know.
Tess: I can't tell you what I don't know.
Michael: Hey, Valenti is involved now. If this thing goes the wrong way, he'll know everything, and that puts us all in danger, including you. Now, get in the jeep.
Tess: Michael, you don't know who you're dealing with.
Michael: No, but you do, and that's why you're coming with us.
(At Sheriff Valenti's office.)
Sheriff: (on the phone) Right.
Fisher: Sir, there's a report on line three, says a young couple was spotted at a gas station. There was a freak accident, a t*nk exploded. And they found some kind of weird silver handprint. They're faxing over security cam pictures.
Sheriff: Where was this?
Fisher: 380 West, just outside of Hondo. Hey, Sheriff, do you need me to come along with you?
Sheriff: Nope. That won't be necessary, Deputy.
Fisher: Ok, sir.
Sheriff: You wait here for the security cam pictures to come through.
Fisher: Yes sir. (The sheriff drives off, and the jeep speeds after him.) Whoa, wait, slow down. Where are you going in such a hurry?
Max: Nowhere, officer. I'm really sorry.
Fisher: Well, I think you're just going to have to learn to slow down.
Isabel: You know, you're so right, officer. And we promise never to do it again.
Fisher: Good enough, this time. But I'll be watching.
(In Valenti's office, Deputy Fisher looks at the fax picture of Nasedo and Liz.)
(At a carnival, Liz and Nasedo are at a booth.)
Nasedo: Where's the pea? Pick one. Pick one. Don't believe everything you see.
Liz: What are we doing here?
Nasedo: We're waiting for Pierce to connect the dots.
Liz: And when he gets here, what are you going to do to him? You know, and then you won't need me anymore, right? God, don't you think Max is already on his way to find me?
Nasedo: Now why would he be doing that?
Liz: Because he cares about me. But you don't understand that, do you? You… you don't care about anyone.
Max: All I care about is protecting them. No one else matters.
(On the road, Valenti pulls up to where a couple of agents are collecting the d*ad body.)
Sheriff: What's going on here?
Agent: We have it under control, Sheriff.
(A little further back down the road.)
Tess: You can't deny this, any of you. It's our destiny. It's what we were planned for. Even if you don't want to believe me, you can't hide from the truth.
Max: It's not about the four of us right now, it's about Liz.
Tess: Liz is human. She has nothing to do with us.
Max: No, you have nothing to do with us.
Tess: Michael, is that what you think? Isabel?
(Back at the d*ad body.)
Sheriff: This is my county. I demand to know what's happening.
Agent: Go away Sheriff. This is a matter of national security.
Max: Is that them? Is that Liz?
Tess: Don't stop. Don't even slow down. It's not her. Those men are from the Special Unit. Just drive.
Isabel: How do you know?
Tess: I've been running from them all my life and now they're after you, too. Just go.
(At the Carnival.)
Liz: I don't believe you.
Nasedo: It's true, Tess and Max were made to be together.
Liz: But you don't even know what Max and I have. You know, ever since he saved my life at the CrashDown, he changed me. We saw into each other's souls.
Person at the Carnival: I don't believe in that hokey. There's no such thing as aliens.
Nasedo: Time for the final clue.
(As Nasedo blasts the person with a light that goes up into the sky, Liz sneaks away.)
(At the d*ad body, Sheriff Valenti and the FBI guy spot the light. Valenti gets into his truck. Max, Michael, Isabel and Tess, who pulled over to wait for Valenti, also spot the light.)
Tess: Oh my god, I know what he's doing. He's leading Pierce right to him.
Max: And to Liz.
Michael: Why?
Tess: He wants to k*ll him.
Max: Let's go.
Tess: We can't.
Max: Yes we can.
Tess: Do you have any idea what Pierce would do if he gets a hold of one of us?
Max: He's going to get to Liz if we don't get there first.
Tess: Nasedo will take care of Pierce.
Max: I can't take that chance. I'm not going to let anything happen to Liz.
(At the Carnival, Liz isn't very successful at eluding Nasedo. He follows her into a Mirror Maze. Sheriff Valenti spots him going in, and follows him.)
Max: This is where the light was coming from. We've got to split up and look for Valenti; he'll lead us to Liz.
(Max sees the Sheriff going into the Mirror Maze and follows him in. Now everyone is wandering around in the maze. They can see each other in the mirrors, but don't try to communicate until Max comes face to face with Nasedo.)
Nasedo: What are you doing? Get out of here.
Max: Where's Liz?
Nasedo: Pierce doesn't care about her; he only wants me.
Max: He wants her, too. He wants all of us. I'm not leaving without her.
Nasedo: I won't let him take you.
Liz: Max!
Max: Liz. (A glass wall separates them.) Get out of here.
Liz: Not without you. Max! Behind you!
(Two FBI guys are in the mirrors behind him. He runs off. Nasedo appears on Liz's side of the glass.)
Nasedo: I've got to get you out of here.
(Valenti spots Max in front of him.)
Sheriff: Max?
Fisher: Right behind you, Sheriff.
(Valenti turns, and there's Fisher with his g*n drawn on Max, along with the FBI guys. Valenti sh**t at the mirrors.)
Fisher: Sheriff. Sheriff, it's me, Fisher, what are…
(Valenti continues to look for Max. He spots him just as the two FBI guys grab him. Nasedo and Liz appear then and also see Max. They run out of the maze and over to a bus.)
Nasedo: Right in here.
Liz: Max, are you all right? (She kisses him and gets another black and white flash.) You're not Max.
Nasedo: No I'm not. And now I've got to get him back. (Nasedo shape-shifts into a clown and runs into the crowd.)
(Liz runs off of the bus, and into Isabel, Michael and Tess.)
Liz: Oh god.
Isabel: Liz. Liz!
Liz: They have Max. They have Max.
(Michael hugs her.)
(In an all white room with no doors or windows, Max is pacing and banging on the walls.)
(In an observation room.)
Agent: They want to know when you'd like to start the tests.
Fisher: Tomorrow morning. Let him get some sleep.
Agent: Yes sir, Agent Pirce.
(End of Episode.) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x19 - Max to the Max"} | foreverdreaming |
"The White Room"
Episode: 21
21st Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA20
Written by: Jonathan Frakes
Original Air Date: Wednesday May 8, 2000
(Episode begins where Max to the Max left off. Max is in an all white room with no windows and no doors. He hears a voice over the PA.)
Pierce: Good morning, Max.
Max: Where am I?
Pierce: Someplace where no one can find you.
Max: Why am I here?
Pierce: That's what I want to try to find out.
Max: You've made a mistake.
Pierce: I don't think so. I know what you are, and now, you're going to tell me everything.
Max: I'm Max Evans. I live at sixty-twenty-five Murray Lane. You can call my parents.
Pierce: We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. What is the name of your home planet?
Max: Earth.
Pierce: All right. Hard way.
(A group of technicians run in and tie Max to a table.)
Max: I'm Max Evans. Why are you doing this to me? Why?! Why? Wha…?
(Credits.)
(In the kitchen of the Crashdown.)
Michael: We should have never split up. I mean I never should have left him alone.
Isabel: What are they doing to him? What if he's already d*ad?
Liz: No, no, Isabel you can't even talk like that because, you know, Max is too smart to let something like that happen.
Tess: Pierce won't k*ll him. He wants to study him
Michael: How the hell do you know?
(Liz runs to the front of the restaurant as Maria and Alex come inside.)
Maria: Oh my god, Liz. We were so worried…
Liz: You guys, they took Max.
Alex: Who? Who did?
Liz: Pierce, you know the FBI Special Unit. They took him.
(Alex embraces Isabel, and Maria goes to Michael.)
Liz: Where's Nasedo?
Tess: I don't know.
Michael: He's supposed to be at our side. Where is he?
Tess: I told you, I don't know. He's never left me alone like this before.
Isabel: Then it's up to us. We have to find Max.
Alex: Wha… what makes you think we can go up against alien hunters and win?
Michael: What the hell choice do we have? Let him be a pincushion for Pierce? Let him die?
Alex: No.
Liz: We have to go to Valenti.
Michael: What, and tell him everything?
Isabel: Max was willing to do it to save Liz. Maybe now is the time to trust him.
Tess: What makes you think that Valenti is better equipped than we are?
Maria: He's the law. He's got resources.
Tess: So do we. Stronger ones. Look, I know what can do. What about the two of you?
Michael: What do you mean?
Tess: Your powers, Michael. Your gifts. You do have them, don't you?
Michael: We're not too advanced.
Isabel: We can do easy things, like change simple molecular structure, but we don't use them very often. What about you?
Tess: Being around Nasedo has taught me quite a few things.
Alex: Wait, what about that dream thing that you can do?
Tess: What dream thing?
Isabel: Sometimes I can go into people's heads when they're sleeping.
Tess: And you can all do that?
Michael: No, just Isabel.
Tess: And you can communicate with him?
Isabel: Subconsciously. I've only done it a few times though.
Liz: Look, if you do it to Max, maybe he can tell you where he is.
Isabel: I've never done it to anyone who was awake before. I don't know if I can get in.
(In the White room, Max wakes strapped to a table.)
Pierce: (As he strips off his clean room gear.) You and I don't need procedure, now do we, Max?
(Max remembers where he's seen Pierce before.)
Pierce as Deputy Fisher: Where are you going in such a hurry?
Max: Nowhere, officer.
(In the present.)
Max: You're the deputy?
Pierce: You have your tricks, I have mine.
Max: Who do you think I am?
Pierce: That's what we've been trying to find out at the lab. You know, there's something very strange about your X-rays… something that doesn't make sense. They're completely human: your bone structure, your organs, circulatory and pulmonary systems. Everything human. But. Here's where things get really strange. These are your blood cells. Completely not human. Still want me to call your parents? I told you Max; I know what you are, so now you're going to start answering my questions. Delta, Colorado, 1962, Agent Lewis, the first head of this Special Unit was found d*ad. His internal organs had reached a temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit. A silver handprint was found on his chest. What do you know about that?
Max: Nothing.
Pierce: Union City, Tennessee, 1967 Agent del Bianco, his replacement. Ring a bell?
Max: No.
Pierce: All right. How about this: May second, 1999, Agent Daniel Summers, the man who brought me into this unit, the man whose job I now have, did you k*ll him, too? Or was it one of the others?
Max: What others?
Pierce: You know, I might not have been around in 1947, but I know all about the crash. About the four aliens they captured: two d*ad, two alive. I've spent my entire career studying the documentation. Especially the three years of observation they made on the one held in captivity, right here in this room.
Max: I thought you said there were four.
Pierce: One of them escaped. Nasedo. Isn't that what you call him? (He brings out an orb.) Where's the other one? What happens when you put them together?
Max: I don't know.
(The technicians come back in. They drug Max.)
Pierce: Shhh. Shhh.
(In Liz's room. Everyone is one the balcony except Alex and Isabel who are on the bed.)
Alex: I remember when uhh, Michael almost died in here. He went somewhere in his… in his mind and he… he barely made it out.
Isabel: I have to do this.
Alex: Then I'm going to stay with you. Umm, if I'm holding on to you, maybe you won't get lost.
Isabel: ‘K. (They lay down. She is touching a picture of Max.) Let me in, Max, Let me in. (She is in the White room. The room is spinning from the drugs, and she is disoriented.) Max. Max? Oh god. Max, stop this. Stop this and help me.
Max: I can't. They gave me something.
Isabel: Ok. Ok. Ok. Max, look at me. Look only at me, look only at me. Where are you? Tell me where you are.
Max: I don't know.
Isabel: Help me, Max, how did you get here? Think harder.
Max: I don't know.
Isabel: Think harder. (She sees him being wheeled down a long corridor with an eagle emblem on the floor through a security door.) Who brought you here? (She sees Deputy Fisher.) Valenti's deputy? Max…
Max: Look again.
Isabel: Deputy Fisher is Agent Pierce?
Max: You have to go now.
Isabel: No. No, I'm not leaving you.
Max: You have to.
Isabel: No. Why? No, no, stop, please. I'm not leaving you, I'm not… (She wakes up from her dream walk.) MAX! MAX! Oh god! Oh my God! (Everyone runs in from the balcony.)
Michael: What happened? What happened?
Isabel: Michael, he's so scared. He's so scared.
Michael: Ok, Isabel, you've got to calm down. All right? You got to tell me what you saw. We got to help him.
Isabel: Oh god. That deputy… the deputy that stopped us last night, he's Pierce. He's Pierce.
Alex: Are you sure?
Isabel: He told me. And he's drugging him. He's hurting him.
Liz: Where is he? Where… where is…
Isabel: I don't know. I don't know where he is.
Tess: Think hard. He must have given you something. Think.
Isabel: Ok, he did. He did. I think I know where I've seen it before.
(At the UFO Convention Center.)
Maria: Eagle Rock Military Base. This is where they were said to have secretly taken the aliens after the crash.
Isabel: This is it. This is what Max showed me. This is the symbol on the hall floor on the base.
Maria: It says that it's been abandoned for years.
Isabel: That's where he is.
Liz: Look; now we have no choice, ok, we have to go to Valenti.
Michael: What are you crazy? After we just found out about Deputy Fisher? Valenti's probably in on the whole thing.
Liz: We can't go to a place like that on our own.
Michael: No, you can't, but we can. Isabel, Tess and I can protect ourselves.
Maria: With what? Your gifts?
Michael: Why not?
Maria: Because you don't know who to use them, that's why not. You could get k*lled, or worse.
Liz: And you guys aren't going there without me.
Tess: No. Look, you want the truth? You're liabilities, all three of you. We've got a better chance of saving Max without you, and that's what this is all about, right?
Liz: Bring him back to me.
Michael: I will.
Tess: We'd better hurry.
Maria: You come back to me.
(The three aliens leave together.)
(They break into the military base, and sneak around the deserted corridors. They find the security door.)
Isabel: I saw that. Max remembered it.
Tess: He's in there.
Michael: How do we get in? (An agent walks by.)
Tess: In here or they'll see us. Wait, they always patrol in intervals.
Isabel: How did you know that? Nasedo?
Tess: When you've been hunted all your life, it gets easier to catch on.
(In the White room.)
Pierce: Tell me about the crash, Max. What about the orb? The communicator. Wake him up. Wake him up. Tell me. Don't make me k*ll you. Max, tell me where it is. More! I am going to find out one way or another. See, this is getting us nowhere. I want everything flushed out of his system now. I want him completely coherent for the next phase.
(At the Crashdown.)
Maria: I'm sure they've found him by now.
Alex: They're probably on their way back.
Liz: Yeah, I wish I could believe that one.
(Valenti sits down.)
Sheriff: I've been up all night trying to figure out what happened at that carnival. I mean, I know what I saw. Mirrors or no mirrors, there were two Max Evans standing right in front of me. And now one of them is in the hands of Agent Pierce and the Special Unit, and I'm just hoping that it wasn't the one that we all care about. Liz, tell me. Let me help.
Liz: We don't know any more than you do, Sheriff. Sorry.
Sheriff: Well, if Pierce has reached the same conclusion that I have, Max is going to need a lot more help than any of you can give him. (He leaves.)
Liz: You guys, what if he's right? I would never forgive myself if something actually happened to them that maybe we could have, like, prevented. I…
Maria: Ok, listen; let's give them until four o'clock, all right? If they're not back by then…
Liz: Right. Ok. Four o'clock.
Maria: He's going to be fine.
Liz: Yeah.
(Scene after scene where Max is being tortured with drugs, ice baths, isolation, electro-shock therapy, etc.)
(Somewhere on the base.)
Isabel: Oh god, he won't let me in. I just keep seeing some blinding light. That's not good. He's in some kind of trauma.
Michael: If you can get through the damn electric fence, why can't you short circuit the security system?
Tess: I told you, because they're watching. The minute they see us, it's all over.
Isabel: So what are we supposed to do, just wait and let them k*ll him?
Michael: I'm going to take this thing down myself.
(He steps out of their hiding spot to see two guys wheeling a gurney with a d*ad body down the hall.)
Isabel: It's him.
Tess: We don't know that. I would have felt it if something happened to him.
Michael: Only one way to find out.
(They sneak down the hall after the body.)
(At the Crashdown, it's 4:08.)
Liz: I'm not waiting any more. I'm going to do what Max would do for me.
Maria: Wait a minute. Are you sure it's our responsibility to tell Valenti everything?
Liz: It's our responsibility to keep them alive. You know, Max was ready to trust him, that's all I need to know.
Alex: What are you going to say?
Liz: Whatever I have to; to get him to help.
(In the Morgue at the base, the aliens pull back the sheet to reveal the agent that Nasedo k*lled and dumped on the side of the road yesterday, in Max to the Max.)
Isabel: Oh my god. Michael, look.
Tess: What is that?
Michael: Nasedo.
Isabel: That's how he kills.
Tess: I swear to you, I've never…
(Nasedo disguised as an agent walks in.)
Nasedo: Hey. You shouldn't be here. What are you doing here?
(Michael tries to use his powers to protect them, but Nasedo easily overcomes Michael's powers with his own, and sends Michael flying backwards.)
Tess: It's you. (Nasedo shape-shifts into Mr. Harding.) Don't ever leave me alone like that again.
Nasedo: I have four of you to watch now.
Michael: I've been looking for you for a long time.
Nasedo: Not as long as I've been looking for you. Now you're about to get yourselves k*lled.
Isabel: We're here for Max.
Nasedo: This isn't the local sheriff you're dealing with. You should have known better. None of you are equipped to be here. I've got to get you out of here. (He shape-shifts back into an agent.)
(They leave the Morgue, but almost run into the agent he is impersonating.)
(In Sheriff Valenti's office.)
Sheriff: Liz Parker.
Liz: You're right Sheriff. I need your help. We all do. Your new deputy, Fisher; he isn't a deputy, Sheriff, and his name is not Fisher. It's Pierce – from the FBI Special Unit. He's the one who has Max.
Sheriff: How do you know that?
Liz: I can't tell you, Sheriff, but Max is in a lot of trouble. I think that they all are. Sheriff, please. Will you trust me? I can tell you where he is.
(Somewhere on the base. Nasedo is back in the guise of Mr. Harding.)
Isabel: I don't think we belong with him.
Michael: He's Nasedo, what choice do we have?
Isabel: We could go back up there ourselves.
Michael: Four is stronger than two. We need them.
Isabel: He could be working for Pierce. You know, we don't know anything for sure.
Nasedo: The most important part of the plan is timing. Set your watches: 5:47. This is your escape route: scan it.
Michael: Scan it?
Nasedo: Into your brain. You can't? All right, you have two minutes to memorize it. I know this place intimately. I've already escaped it once. Now, if I'm going to save Max, I need help. We need to get through the security door.
Isabel: I could do that. I've gotten through doors before.
Nasedo: That isn't some deadbolt up there. That door is made up of depleted Uranium; a metal composed of heavy atoms, which we can't manipulate.
Isabel: We can't.
Nasedo: You have many limitations.
Michael: They know about them?
Nasedo: They know more about you than you do. They've been studying us for fifty years. The only way to gain entry is to get through the security scanner.
Isabel: Well, how do we do that?
Nasedo: I can shape-shift into any of these agents: take their form, even their fingerprints. That's why they added the X-ray scanner. My bone structure is far from human. I can change my appearance, but not what's on the inside. Your bone structure, on the other hand, is one hundred percent human.
Michael: So you're different from me?
Nasedo: Biology lessons later. Come on. If I'm going to get through that door, I'm going to need one of you with me, and since the only female agent at the Special Unit is now d*ad, it's you and me, Michael.
Michael: I can't get through the scanner, either. I can't change my fingerprints.
Nasedo: Yes you can, you just don't know you can. I'll teach you. I just hope for Max's sake that you're a quick study. I'm going to need both of you, too.
(In the White room. Max wakes up unrestrained and semi-coherent. He att*cks Pierce.)
Pierce: Don't even try. Don't even try to use your abilities, Max. The serum we injected you with – very effective in suppressing the neurotransmitters in your cerebral cortex. Experiments on the alien in the forties taught us that that's where most of your powers come from. Come on, sit down. It's all right. That's not your real weakness, though, is it? You know, I've been going about this the wrong way the whole time. It's not that you're part alien: it's that you're part human. (Max is suddenly restrained in the chair, and Pierce puts a VR visor on Max's head.) You have feelings. (An image of Michael is projected on the visor.) Emotions. (Max sees Isabel.) Friendship. (Maria and Alex appear.) Love. (Liz is last. An image of Liz d*ad with blood on her face is projected.)
Max: No! NO!
Pierce: Trick photography, Max.
Max: NO! No!
Pierce: Max, Max! Computer rigged. Virtual reality, Max. It's not real. It's not real. We didn't k*ll her. We didn't k*ll her. I just wanted to show you what can happen. What will happen.
Max: You're evil.
Pierce: I'm evil? I'm risking my life to save my country, my planet from being colonized by alien life - by you. Tell me where the other one is.
Max: The other what?
Pierce: We found this in the crash. We have spent fifty years looking for the other one, and we know you have it. It took a little persuading, but Topolsky told us. Tell me where it is. Tell me. Ok. I'm going to give you a choice, Max. You can either tell me where the other orb is, or you can tell me which one of your friends you want me to k*ll first. Hmm? And you have ten seconds. Maybe I'll start with Liz.
Max: Ok, stop it! Stop! I'll tell you where it is, just don't hurt Liz.
Pierce: Huh. You do have feelings. Just like us. Whatever you are, you better tell me the truth for Liz's sake.
(Back at the Morgue.)
Nasedo: Humans are weak – which doesn't bother me – and wasteful. Their brains are incredible machines they haven't even g*n to use. When you were engineered, you were given the capacity to do everything the human brain is capable of.
Michael: You mean beside our powers?
Nasedo: Those are your powers, Michael. Everything you can do is human. You were just programmed to be several thousand years ahead of mankind, that's all. But from what I saw earlier, you've barely tapped into what you're capable of. You can do it, Michael. The only thing stopping you is yourself. (Michael tries to transfer the d*ad body's fingerprint onto his own finger.) Try again.
(Somewhere on the base.)
Tess: It's going to be ok. Nasedo knows what to do.
Isabel: Thank you.
Tess: We've been in trouble before. We can deal with this.
Isabel: That's not what I mean. Thank you for helping us find Max.
Tess: We haven't got him yet.
Isabel: So, I don't understand. I'm going to dream walk to give him the plan, but what are you going to do?
(An agent suddenly appears, and carries Tess away. Isabel goes to follow, when suddenly it's over, and Tess is beside her.)
Tess: It's ok. It's ok.
Isabel: Oh my god, what just happened?
Tess: I made you think something was happening right in front of you when it really wasn't.
Isabel: That's what you did to Max, isn't it? That's why he had all those thought about you.
Tess: I can only keep it going for a little while. After you get Max to clear the room, I'm going to go into Pierce's head, distract him. Hopefully I can keep it going long enough so that Michael and Nasedo can get Max out of there.
(Back at the Morgue.)
Michael: Damn it, I can't do this!
Nasedo: Yes you can. The only one stopping you is you.
Michael: Will you quit saying that? That is not helping me.
Nasedo: Are you just going to let Max die?
Michael: I am trying my best.
Nasedo: That is not your best, Michael; it is not your best.
Michael: Well, give me a pointer, huh? Give me a hint. Give me something.
Nasedo: It's inside you. Your program.
Michael: Hey, I didn't get the manual, ok? All this time I've been alone. Where have you been? Where the hell have you been? Huh? Why'd you let this happen to us? To me?
Nasedo: Emotions are a weakness, Michael. Focus. You've got until this guy gets to the door, then I'm using his hand, and you know how I'm going to get it. We are running out of time here.
Michael: I did it. I did it. I think I did it.
(An agent enters the Morgue, Nasedo appears behind him.)
Nasedo: Agent.
Agent: Who the hell are you, and what are you… (Nasedo kills him.)
Michael: No! I said I did it.
Nasedo: I heard you. I told you you could.
Michael: You k*lled him. Why'd you do that?
Nasedo: I can't take a chance like what happened in the hallway before. There can't be two of me.
Michael: How can you do this? How can you k*ll all these people? You don't care, do you?
Nasedo: Michael, if you want to survive, if you want to get back home, you've got to be willing to fight for that. You understand?
Michael: You're not who I thought you'd be.
Nasedo: Neither are you. It's show time.
(Michael, suddenly clad in a suit, combs his hair while Nasedo shape-shifts into the newly k*lled agent.)
(In the White room.)
Pierce: You finally told me the truth about where you hid it. Now make them work.
Max: I can't.
Pierce: Do it!
Max: I'm telling you the truth now, too.
Pierce: Make them work. Make the orbs work.
Max: I don't know how.
Pierce: Let's begin. (A group of technicians enter the room with surgical equipment.) I can take you apart piece by piece, and make sure that you stay conscious enough to feel every second of it.
Max: I can't tell you what I don't know. I can't tell you what I don't know.
Pierce: Bring in the surgeons.
(At the security scanner. Michael is able to get through.)
Agent: Matheson.
Nasedo: Afternoon, Agent.
Agent: Fields. You're the new agent, aren't you?
Michael: Yeah, good to meet you.
Agent: You picked a hell of a time to show up. Welcome to the Unit.
Michael: Thank you. (A group of surgeons exit a door and head down the hallway. Michael starts after them.)
Nasedo: Where are you going?
Michael: Max is in there. We got to go get him.
Nasedo: It won't help Max if you get yourself k*lled. We have to do this the right way. Two minutes.
(Somewhere on the base.)
Isabel: Ok, I'm going to do it.
Tess: Two minutes.
Isabel: What if it takes me longer to get into his head than it did last time?
Tess: We have to stick to the plan. Everything has to be done like Nasedo said to the second.
Isabel: Ok, ok.
(In the White room.)
Pierce: (Pointing to a guy with a scalpel.) This man will hurt you. (Pointing to a guy with a large green syringe.) This man will help you. Tell me what I need to know, and he will take the pain away.
Max: Who's inhuman now?
Pierce: Open him up.
(Isabel dream walks into the room.)
Isabel: Max. Max, Max. There's no time. You have to listen to me. Michael and Nasedo are coming to rescue you. Ok, Max? Max, do you hear me? Please, Max, please. You have to listen to me.
Max: He wants me to make the orbs work.
Isabel: Ok. Tell him anything. Get him alone. Get Pierce alone in this room. Tell him anything. (The dream walk ends just as the surgeon is making the first incision.)
Max: Stop!
Pierce: Stop.
Max: I'll show you how they work, but only you.
Pierce: Clear the room.
(Somewhere on the base.)
Tess: Did it work?
Isabel: Yes. Pierce wants Max to show him how to work the orbs.
Tess: I don't know how they work.
Isabel: Well, you've got to do something, and do it now.
(In the White room.)
Pierce: Make them work.
Max: It takes a little time.
Pierce: I'm bringing them back.
Max: No, just wait.
Pierce: You had your chance, Max. (Pierce sees the orbs begin to glow green.)
(On the other side of the observation glass.)
Nasedo: Timing is everything.
(He breaks the glass.)
Michael: It's Nasedo, Maxwell, don't worry. (He puts the orbs in his pockets.) Are you all right?
Max: I am now.
Michael: All right. Let's go. (He has to all but carry Max.) Whoa.
Nasedo: Get out of here. You know the escape route.
Michael: What are you doing, come on.
Nasedo: I have something to take care of.
Michael: No! You are not leaving me again. Let's go!
Nasedo: There are only seconds left. Go! (Michael leaves just as Pierce comes out of his trance.) Are you all right, sir? You were in here a long time. We thought we'd come check.
Pierce: Where's the prisoner?
(In the Morgue, two agents find the new d*ad body.)
(In the hallway outside the White room.)
Agent: Fields?! What are you doing?
Michael: Pierce's orders. I got to get the prisoner out of here. They need help inside. Go. Now! (All agents run into observation room.)
(In the White room.)
Nasedo: Are you all right, sir?
Agent: Sir, stand back. He is not Matheson. (They sh**t Nasedo.)
Pierce: NO! Go, lock it down.
(At the security gate, the door begins to open, but then alarms go off, and it begins to close. Michael is waiting for Nasedo, as Pierce comes running around the corner with his g*n drawn. Sheriff Valenti suddenly appears.)
Sheriff: Come on, come on. Come ON! (He sh**t Pierce in the shoulder as they make their escape.)
(With the alarm sounding, Pierce is unable to gain access through the security gate.)
(End of Episode.) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x20 - The White Room"} | foreverdreaming |
"Destiny"
Episode: 22
22nd Episode of Roswell
Season: 1
Production Code: 1ADA21
Written by: Jason Katims, Toni Graphia
Original Air Date: Wednesday May 15, 2000
(Episode begins where The White Room left off. Michael and Valenti have reached the gate around the compound with Max where everyone is waiting.)
Michael: That won't keep Pierce for long. We've got to get Max out of here.
Sheriff: I know somewhere safe. It's an old silver mine in Galitas off horseshoe road. If we make it there, it will buy us some time. We should split up, make it harder for them to follow. Come on. Come on.
Liz: Max, are you alright?
Tess: Where's Nasedo?
Michael: Just get in the jeep.
Sheriff: Come on! Let's go.
Michael: I don't know about this.
Max: I trust him.
Sheriff: Come on.
Isabel: Clothes.
(Liz and Max drive off in the Jetta, Valenti is in his patrol car, and everyone else is in the Jeep. They each take a different road.)
(Max is dressing.)
Liz: Max, what did they do to you?
Max: It's over. Listen, Liz, if we ever get out of this…
(The back window is sh*t out of the Jetta. They get out and run into the trees.)
Liz: Let's go. Let's go. Come here.
(The FBI guys chase them.)
Max: Go.
Liz: Come on, come on, Max.
Max: Go. Go.
(They double back onto the road. The agents follow and now have them surrounded.)
Liz: Come on.
(Liz and Max climb up onto a guard rail, and jump off into a river.)
(Credits.)
(Liz and Max are making their way down a stream. They come to a junk yard, of sorts.)
Liz: We've got to hide. Come on, in here. Come on, Max. Come on, in here. Come on. (They enter an overturned delivery truck .) I think we'll be safe in here for a while. They don't know how far down river we got. Max. (They kiss. Liz gets flashes of some of the things that happened to Max in the White room.) Max.
(Going down the road.)
Tess: How could you leave Nasedo there?
Michael: Listen, he might not have made it, alright? We heard g*n sh*ts.
Tess: Michael, listen to me. We have to turn around. We have to go to the pod chamber.
Michael: What are you talking about?
Tess: Nasedo told me that if anything ever happened to him, to go to the pod chamber.
Isabel: What are we supposed to do? Just go there and wait? How will anyone know where we are?
Tess: Max will know. He'll find us.
Maria: Well what about Liz and Valenti? What happens to them?
Alex: No, look, we said we'd meet at Galinas. If we don't go now, we may never see them again.
Isabel: Alex is right. We don't do anything without everyone.
Tess: But without Nasedo, we have nothing. Michael, I'm telling you, turn around. Our lives depend on it. Everything depends on it.
Michael: No, we're not leaving anyone behind anymore. All right? We're going to the mine.
(In the overturned van.)
Liz: So everything Nasedo told me was true. You and Tess were meant to be together.
Max: Liz.
Liz: I mean, it's your destiny, right?
Max: I wish I could go back Liz. Back to when things were normal.
Liz: Me, too. I just wish that I could have stopped you from saving my life that day in the CrashDown.
Max: Don't say that.
Liz: Max, the day that you saved my life, your life just ended.
Max: No, that was the day my life began. Liz, when I was in that room, and they did what they did to me. You're what kept me alive. The thought of you. The way your eyes look into mine. Your smile. The touch of your skin. Your lips. Knowing you has made me human. Whether I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same: it's you. I want to be with you, Liz. I love you.
Liz: I love you. (They kiss.)
(At the silver mine.)
Michael: Where's Max and Liz.
Sheriff: They're not back yet.
Isabel: We took the long way. They should have gotten here before us.
Michael: It'll be light in an hour. They're still out there.
Sheriff: I'm going back and retrace the route.
Michael: I'm going with you, you may need me.
Sheriff: The rest of you wait here. Don't make a move without us.
Maria: Michael! Michael.
Michael: I'll be back with him soon. Don't worry.
(At the overturned van. A car engine wakes up Max and Liz.)
Max: Let's go.
(They run off.)
(Going down the road.)
Michael: Why are you helping us?
Sheriff: There's a right side here and a wrong side. I don't think Pierce is on the right side. Besides, I like to think that if my son were in trouble somewhere and I wasn't around to help, that somebody would be there for him.
(In a washout, the FBI Hummer from last night suddenly appears behind Max and Liz just as Valenti nears.)
Michael: There they are. Stop the car. (Michael uses his powers to disable the Hummer. Max and Liz get into the patrol car.) Get in. Let's go.
Max: What did you do?
Michael: I don't know.
Max: What do you mean you don't know?
Michael: I don't know, just go! Come on, go. Go! Go, or get out!
(They drive off.)
(At the silver mine.)
Sheriff: We'll be safe here for a while.
Michael: There is no safe anymore.
(Michael goes inside.)
Max: Go ahead. I'll be right in.
(Liz goes inside.)
Sheriff: Tell me what just happened back there, Max. All this time, I thought it was just you. It's Michael, too, isn't it? Isabel? My god. Man.
Max: You swore to me that we could trust you. I need to trust you right now. It's our lives, Sheriff. There's no time for doubts.
Sheriff: Well, it's my life, too, and I need to know everything.
Max: We don't know where we're from. We don't know why we're here. Liz, Alex and Maria are the only ones who know. And now you. We don't want to hurt anybody, Sheriff, we just want to stay alive.
Sheriff: I keep thinking about my father. He was right.
Max: But he would have turned us in. What are you going to do?
(Inside the mine.)
Michael: I don't know how I did it. I don't even know what I was trying to do. It just happened.
Tess: It's just your own energy, Michael, and how you focus it. That's what Nasedo was trying to teach you.
Isabel: So you did this in front of Valenti?
Michael: Well I couldn't let them get caught.
Isabel: This changes everything.
Michael: Yeah, don't you think I know that?
Alex: So what is Valenti going to do? What are we all going to do?
Max: We're going to think this through, and we're not going to panic.
Isabel: So, you think we should trust Valenti?
Max: We have no choice.
Tess: Yes we do. We can go to the chamber and be safe, just the four of us. Nasedo will rescue us, and Pierce doesn't want the rest of you.
Max: Well, Nasedo isn't here. And Pierce will do anything to anybody if he thinks he can get to us.
Michael: Well we sure as hell can't stay here the rest of our lives.
Isabel: What do you mean? Leave Roswell for good?
Michael: Maybe Tess is right. If the four of us leave, maybe the rest of you could…
Maria: No. I'm staying with you.
Alex: So am I.
Liz: Yeah, we all are.
Michael: So where do we go?
Max: We're not going anywhere. We're taking our lives back.
Michael: What?
Max: When Pierce told me the things they had done to the other alien… I'll die before I let that happen to any of you.
Isabel: Then we have to run.
Max: If we run, then he'll just keep hunting us and there's no coming back. Are you willing to never see home again? Any of you? Then we have to fight.
Alex: Fight the most elite unit in the FBI.
Isabel: Who now knows who we are and everything about us.
Max: Pierce does know who we are. But we also know who he is, and we're stronger than he thinks. We may be even stronger than we think.
(Outside the mine, Valenti is listening to his Police radio.)
Voice 1: …hasn't checked in?
Voice 2: The last time we saw him, he left here with the Parker girl. That's the six kids all together and the Sheriff.
Voice 1: Don't worry, deputy, I've already contacted headquarters in Albuquerque. They're handling the search from there.
Voice 2: What about the Sheriff's boy? Somebody ought to look in on him.
Voice 1: I already talked to him. I got somebody with him right now.
Voice 2: I'm sure the Sheriff will appreciate that when we find him.
Sheriff: Pierce.
Voice 1/Pierce: Oh, I'm sure he will, too.
(At the Valenti residence.)
Kyle: I want to know what the hell is going on.
Agent 1: My orders are to protect…
Kyle: Protect me from any harm. I know. You told me. Look, if my dad's in any trouble, I have to know about it.
(Across the street from the Crashdown, Liz and Tess are in the Jeep. In a door way, Michael and Isabel are watching an Agent. [AGENT 2])
Michael: There he is.
Isabel: What if this doesn't work? What if we can never go home again?
Michael: It has to work. How much time?
(They step into sight of Agent 2 who begins to follow them.)
(Across the street.)
Tess: It's time.
Liz: What are you going to do?
Tess: I'm going to make them see Pierce.
(Pierce appears in front of the agent.)
Pierce: Agent Bellow, I'll take it from here.
Agent 2: Yes, sir.
(At the Valenti residence.)
Pierce: Agent Samuels.
Agent 1: (To Kyle) Stay here.
(Both Pierces.) PIERCE: Go to Hondo. There's an abandoned gas station three miles east of town. Go there and wait for me.
Agent 1: Yes, sir, Agent Pierce.
(Outside the Crashdown.)
Agent 2: I'll wait in Hondo for your instructions sir.
(At the Valenti residence.)
Agent 1: I understand. Hondo.
Kyle: Who the hell are you talking to? Hey!
(Outside the Crashdown.)
Liz: You told them both at the same time to go to Hondo?
Tess: Pierce told them to go to Hondo.
Liz: Can you just do that with everyone? Make them see things that aren't even there?
Tess: Sometimes it's easier to do that than to make someone see something that's right in front of her eyes.
(At the Valenti residence.)
Agent 1: What the hell just happened here?
Kyle: I was kinda hoping you could tell me. (Max comes in and punches out the agent.) What are you doing? He's an FBI Agent.
Max: He's not what you think he is.
Kyle: I should have known it! Where the hell's my father?
Max: Safe. That's all I can tell you right now.
Kyle: Well that's not good enough.
Max: It'll have to be. (Max stuffs the agent into a closet.) Turn around.
Kyle: What? No.
Max: I said turn around! (Max melts the lock on the closet door.)
Kyle: Look, if anything happens to my father because of you, I swear to God, I will k*ll you myself.
Max: I can't explain anything right now. This wasn't supposed to happen. Your father's ok. Just stay put. He doesn't want you involved. Don't let him out of there and we'll all be ok.
(Max leaves. Kyle grabs a coat and heads for Valenti's g*n case.)
(In Sheriff Valenti's office.)
Pierce: If you're here to k*ll me, Sheriff, it won't do any good. There'll be a new man in charge of the unit in twenty-four hours.
Sheriff: If I wanted to k*ll you, you'd be d*ad already.
Pierce: Then why are you here?
Sheriff: Because I'm scared. For myself, for my son, for all of us.
Pierce: You didn't seem scared last night when you put a b*llet six inches from my heart.
Sheriff: There were things I didn't know last night. Things that change everything.
Pierce: I don't think anything's changed. I think they sent you here.
Sheriff: Damn it. This is bigger than you can imagine. I heard them. I know their plan. Right now, they're disabling your agents, one by one. You don't believe me. Get them on the radio. Go on.
Pierce: Agent Bellow. Agent Bellow, come in. Bellow. Samuels, can you read me? This is Pierce. (To Valenti.) I want those aliens.
Sheriff: But first, we deal. My name stays clean. I get a government pension for me and my father for the rest of our lives and nobody bothers us. Nobody. And my son, he stays protected.
Pierce: I'll get the three of you new identities. But you… you will show me where they are.
(At the UFO Center, Liz, Isabel and Tess go into the office. Valenti and Pierce are waiting at the foot of the stairs.)
Pierce: Soon as we see them all, sh**t to k*ll, Sheriff.
Sheriff: What about the civilians?
Pierce: There's always a price to pay for freedom.
(The lights go out.)
Sheriff: Pierce!
(The lights come back on. Valenti and Pierce are laying on the ground. Max and Michael are pointing their g*n at them.)
(In the auditorium, Pierce is tied to a chair, Valenti is handcuffed.)
Max: I can't believe I trusted you.
(He nods to Michael who escorts Valenti away.)
(In the storage/prop area.)
Michael: I always thought you were out to get us. And I'm glad I was wrong.
(He removes the handcuffs and returns the g*n.)
Sheriff: I'll take care of Pierce as soon as Max gets what he needs.
Michael: What are you going to do?
Sheriff: There's this guy I know at the Attorney General's office. I already put in the call.
Michael: You think the government's going to do something about Pierce? He part of it.
Sheriff: He's not the good part of it. See, we don't tolerate secret government action in this country. At least not once the press gets a hold of it.
Michael: I hope you're right.
Sheriff: It's time for this to be over.
(In the auditorium.)
Max: Good evening, Agent Pierce. You know who I am. I know who you are. And now you're going to tell me everything.
Pierce: I've got nothing to say.
Max: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. It's up to you. What happened to Nasedo? Did you capture him? Did you k*ll him? Tell me?
(In the office.)
Alex: Max is pounding him with questions.
Maria: He isn't going to answer them.
Alex: That's why we have Isabel.
Isabel: I've never dream-walked anyone who wasn't asleep before.
Tess: But you did it to Max when he was captured.
Isabel: He was drugged. He didn't fight it. Pierce isn't going to do that.
Tess: If you can just get in, even a little, you'll see his answers.
(In the auditorium.)
Max: What happened to Nasedo? Where is he? You know what I can do to you. Tell me what I'm asking or I will take you apart piece by piece and make sure you stay conscious enough to feel every second of it.
Pierce: Untie me and I'll take you to him.
Max: So you do know where he is.
(In the office, Isabel begins a dream-walk. She sees Pierce zipping Nasedo into a body bag.)
Pierce: There's a Helo meeting us at Jeffords Airstrip out by Hobson. Hold the body there until I bring the others.
(The body is put into an armored truck, and the dream-walk ends.)
Alex: What did you see?
Isabel: I'm sorry. It looks like he's d*ad.
Tess: He's not d*ad. He can't die.
Liz: Tess, what do you mean he can't die.
Tess: He said that if this ever happened, that we had the power to bring him back.
Alex: How?
Tess: He told me to find this Indian called Riverdog. He has these stones.
Isabel: The healing stones.
Tess: You know about them?
Maria: Yeah, we already have them.
Tess: Then all we need is Nasedo. You did see where they took him?
Isabel: Yes.
(In the storage/prop area.)
Michael: So, this guy at the Attorney General's… Sheriff?
Sheriff: Hm?
Michael: The one you called? Is he coming here, or are you taking Pierce to him?
Sheriff: I haven't decided yet.
Michael: There is no guy, is there?
Sheriff: If I turn him in, I turn all of you in. He kills people, Michael. It's what the guy does. He k*lled Topolsky, and Stevens, and six innocent people in that hospital, and who knows how many others. And he was just about to k*ll all of you.
(In the auditorium, Kyle sneaks in.)
Pierce: Hey, Kyle. Kyle. It's Max Evans and the others. They have your father.
Kyle: Where?
Pierce: I can't tell you, now, just untie me. They'll be back in seconds. Hurry up. (He spots a g*n tucked into Kyle's waistband.) Kyle, give me that. Give me that g*n. What are you doing with it? Get out of here. Go hide.
(Kyle disappears and Pierce waits in the chair with the g*n hidden. Max, Michael and Valenti walk by. Pierce sh**t at them and misses. Valenti fires repeatedly in the direction that Pierce had fled. He is reloading when Pierce comes back.)
Michael: NO!
(Michael uses his powers to knock him backwards into the wall. Valenti checks him)
Sheriff: He's d*ad. (Looking at the g*n he took from Pierce.) It's one of mine. (He looks behind the curtain.) No. Oh no. (Spots Kyle, who has a b*llet hole in his chest.) No. Aw, no, Kyle! Aw, geez, no! NO KYLE! Augh! Help. Help me. Somebody, help me! Augh. Save my son, please.
(Max heals Kyle.)
Kyle: What the hell just happened to me?
Sheriff: I don't care who you are, or what you are. I'll be here for you. I need a moment alone with my son.
(Valenti hugs Kyle.)
(Max goes to Michael who is standing off to one side.)
Max: You were just trying to stop him. I know you didn't mean to k*ll him.
Michael: But that's just it. I wanted to k*ll him. I mean, that's all that I could think about. I wanted him d*ad. Knowing that, I just did it. It just happened. What kind of person does that make me?
Max: We would have been d*ad if you didn't help us.
Michael: No! The bottom line Maxwell, I k*ll people. I k*ll people, you heal them. (Maria walks over) You're good, and I'm bad.
Max: It's not true, Michael.
Michael: Just get out of here.
Maria: What are you talking about?
Michael: It's not safe.
Maria: It's never been safe. What difference does it make now?
Michael: No, I'm not safe. All right, I mean, I can do these things that I can't control. Look at what I did to Pierce. I'm not going to take that chance with you. I don't want you to be around for what's going to happen.
Maria: Wait. Don't do this to me Michael, please. You need me now, more than you have before, alright?
Michael: No, I don't need anyone.
Maria: Well, maybe I do. Did you ever think of that? I mean, look at Max and Liz. They can't bear to be separated. But you, you can just throw me away. Just like that. Why is that, Michael? Why?
Michael: Maybe because I love you too much. Goodbye.
(He leaves.)
Alex: I know what you need to do, and that you need to do it alone. (He embraces Isabel.) Good luck.
Tess: We have to get Nasedo.
Isabel: I know where he is.
Max: We've got to go. Now. I can't make you do this.
Liz: Max, you're not making me do anything. We choose our own destinies, remember?
(At the deserted airstrip two agents are guarding a truck.)
Michael: Hey, over here.
(Isabel clobbers Agent 3 with a board.)
Agent 4: Hey what's going on?
(Max hits Agent 4.)
Max: Go!
(They climb into the truck.)
Isabel: It's him, it's Nasedo. Let's go.
(They drive away.)
(At the pod chamber. Liz is off to the side while the aliens use the healing stones.)
Isabel: Are you sure this is him?
Michael: This is who he was last time I saw him.
(They heal Nasedo.)
Tess: I knew you wouldn't leave us.
Nasedo: You're not ready to be left alone.
Michael: You're right, we need you. Show us how the orbs work.
Nasedo: She doesn't belong here.
Max: She's with me. We want to know. You're the only one who can show us.
Nasedo: It's not my job to show you. My only job is to keep you alive.
Max: Your job?
Michael: Well if your only job is to keep us alive, then tell us. They're communicators. They communicate with who?
Nasedo: You're not ready to know yet.
Michael: They communicate with our home planet, don't they? Why don't you want us to contact them?
Nasedo: Because you don't know who else you may contact in the process.
Isabel: Who else is there?
Nasedo: Set off those orbs, and you have no idea who you may be leading straight to us.
Max: You don't know, do you? You don't know how to use the orbs. If you knew, you would've already used them. You're here to protect us, but not to lead us, you said it yourself. But if you're not the leader, who is. (Everyone looks at Max.)
Nasedo: If you really want to know what the orbs do, you can find out for yourselves, I can't stop you. But do it at your own risk.
Max: If you're really here to protect us, there's something you have to do. The only way we can ever go back is if nobody's hunting us anymore.
Michael: Pierce is already d*ad.
Max: He'll only be replaced, unless we replace him. (Nasedo shape-shifts into Pierce.) The other agents are at an abandoned gas station in Hondo.
Nasedo: Now that I'm the head of their Special Unit, we've have all their resources. You'll be safe now.
(He leaves. Max picks up an orb and goes to Tess. Michael and Isabel get the other orb.)
Max: I want to know. Maybe if we just focus like Nasedo's always said.
(They concentrate. The orbs sh**t up a blue light, and a beeping sound, like a beacon, is heard. Another blue light floats into view, and transforms into a woman.)
Woman: If you are seeing me now, it means that you are alive and well. I take this form because it will be familiar to you, and it will help you to understand what I am about to say. You have lived before. You perished in the conflict that enslaves our planet but your essence was duplicated, cloned, and mixed with human genetic materials so that you might be recreated into human beings. My son, you were the beloved leader of our people. I have sent with you your young bride. My daughter, the man you were betrothed to, and your brother's second-in-command.
Isabel: Oh my god, Max. Our mother.
Woman: Our enemies have come to the Earth. You will know them only by the evil within. Learn enough to use your skills, your knowledge, your leadership to combat the enemy so that you can come back and free us. And that I may once again hold you both in my arms. I live for that moment. Help us. I love you.
Isabel: She's so beautiful.
Michael: I always knew there was something out there, but I had no idea how important it was.
Max: Things will never be the same, but whatever happens, we have to stay together. It's the four of us now.
Tess: I knew this was meant to be.
Max: No. (To Liz.) Look, everything I told you before is still true.
Liz: Max, you do have a destiny. You just heard it. I can't stand in the way of it.
Max: But you mean everything to me.
(They kiss.)
Liz: Goodbye, Max.
(She leaves.)
Max: Liz. (Outside.) Liz. Liz, wait. (She turns to look at him, then runs off.)
Michael: (Restraining him.) You gotta let her go.
(Tess and Isabel join them.)
Tess: What happens now Max?
(Someone far away, in a car, has a little black beeper that has a flashing pentagon on it. It is making the same beacon sound as the orbs.)
Person: It has g*n.
(Scene after scene of different locations around the globe where the same beacon sound and flashing light can be seen and heard.)
(End of episode.) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "01x21 - Destiny"} | foreverdreaming |
"Skins and Bones"
Episode: 1
23rd Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA01
Written by: Jason Katims
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 2, 2000
(The episode begins with a scene in the desert. A geologist is scanning the area with a metal detector when the metal detector starts to beep steadily. The geologist finds the source of the metal object and starts to dig. He uncovers a charred bone that was buried in the ground.)
(Switch to a room at school where a psychologist is trying to get Max to open up about his problems)
Psychologist: I feel as if you've buried something. Your parents are concerned about you, Max...deeply concerned. Max, I want you to know that however unique you think your problems may be, there are millions of teenagers out there going through exactly what you're going through right now. Let me assure you, this is all normal teenage stuff. Can you try and tell me what's been going on?
(Max looks a bit disoriented, gathering his thoughts. He then starts explaining what's been going on in his life as we see flashbacks from the first season)
Max (V.O.): Well, I guess the natural place to start is...that I'm an alien...a hybrid, actually. You know, human DNA mixed with alien DNA...that kind of thing. Oh, I almost forgot. My sister Isabel and our friend Michael are also a little green around the gills. We didn't know where we came from, who sent us, or why. For the past 10 years, we've been aging much like humans, but clearly there are differences. From the beginning we had the instinct to keep this to ourselves, to hide in plain sight. Then one day last fall, everything changed.
(We see Liz get sh*t and Max healing her)
Max: You broke the bottle when you fell. You broke it by yourself. Don't say anything, please?
(Max is now voicing over more flashbacks from the first season)
Max (V.O.): The 6 of us were connected by the secret we shared.
There was also Tess, a hybrid like us...part human, part alien. And then there was Nasedo. He's a shapeshifter...which means he can take on any human form, a skill that could really come in handy since there were people out there who would do anything to find us. And if they found us, there was no limit to what they would do. Fortunately, we used Nasedo's abilities to infiltrate the special unit of the FBI. Of course we had skills of our own. And as much as we tried to convince ourselves that we could live a normal life...
(We see a scene where Agent Pierce is about to sh**t Sheriff Valenti and Michael cries out)
Michael: Stop!
Max (V.O.): We couldn't. To save our lives, Michael k*lled Agent Pierce of the FBI. And no matter how justified it was, the truth is...we k*lled a man...and that wasn't easy...for any of us.
Psychologist: Max? Max! Max, don't you have anything to say? Anything at all?
(It's apparent now that Max didn't really blurt out his secrets to the psychologist. He was daydreaming)
Max: It's like you said, just...normal teenage stuff.
(Opening credits)
Congressman: Mr. Pierce. How much of that spending was authorized by your superiors?
Pierce: None.
Congressman: Huh? Oh, sorry, Mr. Pierce. My hearing isn't what it used to be. Why don't you speak right into the mike?
Pierce: None.
Congressman: Oh, none! Not a penny. For $17 million spent by so-called special unit of the FBI...
Alex: Max, you're a genius.
Max: What?
Alex: Having Nasedo pose as Pierce. You know, make a mockery of the special unit and the government thr*at against you. It's really smart.
Max: I had nothing to do with it. I haven't heard from Nasedo in 3
months.
Alex: Well, if Nasedo can put an end to this special unit, I'd say, all your problems are solved.
Isabel: We still have our enemies to deal with.
Max: It's been over 3 months, and nothing has happened. No aliens have shown up. Maybe there's no one out there. Maybe the w*r is over.
Isabel: Or thousands of them could be lining up outside of town right now.
Max: I just don't think we should live our lives in fear like Michael.
Isabel: Maybe he's just preparing for the inevitable.
Maria: They're taking a vote.
Congressman: Ladies and gentlemen, I move for the immediate disbandment of that component of the FBI known as the special unit. All those in favor say, aye.
Courtney: You people are way too into C-SPAN.
Maria: Goodbye, Courtney.
Congressman: All opposed say, nay.
Whitaker: Nay.
Congressman: The committee recognizes Congresswoman Whitaker.
Maria: She looks familiar.
Alex: Yeah, that's Vanessa Whitaker. She's our congresswoman.
Maria: I've gotta start reading the newspaper.
Whitaker: Members of the committee...in 1972, the special unit of the FBI investigated a m*rder. Several curiosities surrounded the event. No m*rder w*apon. No entry wound, other than the presence of silver markings left on the skin, which subsequently vanished, yet the internal organs and tissues of the victim were completely decimated. Now, nuclear analysis of the victim's bones showed traces of a substance dubbed cadmium-x, an element which doesn't exist on earth. It is, simply put...not human.
Congressman: Mr. Pierce, in all records, materials, and other findings...appropriated from your offices, we have found no mention of anything known as cadmium-x. Can you explain that to us?
Pierce: There is no record in our files of the substance called cadmium-x, because there is no substance called cadmium-x. Cadmium-x is a hoax that we invented.
Maria: I am definitely not in the market for a 30-something shapeshifter, but I have to admit the man rocks. All right, the show's over. I gotta change into my uniform. My shift's starting.
(Everyone leaves except Max)
Maria: Girlfriend. Like, I know that we bonded over the summer, but I'm not quite ready to show you the bod just yet.
Max: No. I was just wondering if you'd heard from Liz yet.
Maria: Not since you asked me an hour ago. No.
Max: I heard you on the phone with her.
Maria: Max, little advice. The girl goes off to some aunt in Florida for the entire summer and barely says good-bye to you. In layman's terms, she blew you off big time. I mean, and look at you. Look, you're like a groveling dog. (in a whiny voice) Have you heard from Liz today? Did Liz call? (end whiny voice) No. That's no good. Look, you've gotta play it cool, all right? Let her come to you.
Max: Let her come to me.
Maria: That's what I'd do.
Max: Wait. Didn't you just tell me that you left like 5 messages for Michael in the past 2 days?
Maria: What's your point?
(In the main area of the Crashdown, Alex is looking through a newspaper for movie times while Isabel is lost in thought)
Alex: Oh, look! "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" is playing at the Revival Theater at the fairgrounds.
Isabel: You know, Alex, maybe you should see what you can find out about cadmium-x.
Alex: Sure. Look, there are 4 showings on Saturday.
Isabel: We're not going to a movie, Alex.
Alex: Yeah, right.
Isabel: Alex, I'm sorry. You know it's not you. It's just that with everything that's happening, everything on my mind, I can't think about being with a guy right now. You know, any guy.
Grant: Excuse me. Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to...
Isabel: N-no. You're fine. We're...
Grant: Uh, Grant Sorenson.
Isabel: Isabel Evans.
Alex: Alex Whitman.
Grant: I was just wondering if might be able to tell me where I could find the Sheriff's office.
(Isabel and Alex share a worried glance with each other)
Isabel: Why are you looking for the Sheriff?
(Switch to Valenti's office where Grant is taking out the bone to show the Sheriff)
Sheriff: Could be a coyote.
Deputy Hansen: Why would anyone bury a coyote?
Sheriff: Where'd you find this?
Grant: 30 miles northeast of here...off the old Clovis Highway.
Sheriff: That's a pretty isolated place to be digging around. What were you doing up there?
Grant: Geological survey.
Sheriff: I see.
Grant: There's one thing that I can't quite explain. I was using a Lorenz Pulse 5...basically a fancy metal detector. Why would a metal detector detect bones?
Deputy Hansen: Ok, I just got goose bumps.
Sheriff: You did the right thing by bringing this to my attention, Mr.
Sorenson. I'll look into it immediately.
Grant: Sure thing, Sheriff.
Deputy Hansen: You don't even need to say it, Sheriff. I'll get an excavation team out there right away.
(Michael and Tess are in Michael's apartment. Tess is advising Michael on how to control his power by bl*wing up rocks on the table)
Tess: Next one. Keep your focus.
(Michael blows up some more rocks as Max and Isabel walk in)
Max: No rock stands a chance against Michael Guerin.
Michael: Our fearless leader.
Tess: Hey.
Max: I think Nasedo's finished with D.C. He'll probably be headed back soon.
Tess: It's not like he's Ward Cleaver when he's here.
Michael: So, what's going on? Something tells me this isn't a social visit.
Isabel: We think somebody found Pierce's bones.
Michael: You're kidding.
Max: A geologist.
Michael: What the hell was he doing digging around in the middle of nowhere?
Max: That's what geologists do.
Michael: I don't feel good about this.
Max: Valenti's handling the investigation. He'll take care of it.
Michael: What about Nasedo?
Max: He told us not to contact him unless there was an emergency.
Michael: So what do you call this? I mean, what if this guy's not a geologist? What if he's one of our enemies, Max?
Max: Right now there's no reason to doubt him. He's a geologist, and in the course of doing his job, he dug up the bones. I'll decide when we call Nasedo. Don't do anything until I tell you.
Michael: I'm not just gonna sit around and do nothing like we've done all summer.
Max: We've been having this conversation for months. What are we supposed to do?
Michael: You're our leader. Why don't you lead us?
Max: Fine! Crack some more rocks.
Isabel: Max!
Max: Valenti has it under control. Let's not panic. I'll call you when there's news.
(The Sheriff's office has an excavation team set up in the desert.
Deputy Hanson finds a pocket Kn*fe in the brush)
Deputy Hansen: Sheriff. Found this in the brush, right near the grave.
Sheriff: Let's see.
Deputy Hansen: I'm all over it, Sheriff. I called the lab. I'm gonna run it over right now and have them check for prints.
Sheriff: Good work, Hanson.
Deputy Hansen: Looks like we could have an actual homicide on our hands.
(Michael, who has been watching the goings on at the excavation, turns to leave and trips over a rock. He sees a piece of shedded skin on the ground. It disintegrates when he touches it)
Michael: What the hell?
(Max and Isabel are walking down a street)
Isabel: Maybe Michael's right. Maybe we should check out the geologist.
Max: Valenti already did. He has a degree from the University of Wyoming and was hired to do field work in the area.
Isabel: Nasedo had a pretty good cover, too.
Max: I'll talk to him later.
Isabel: Or I could.
Max: We'll talk about it later.
(Max sees Liz on the street and walks up to her)
Max: Liz.
Liz: Hi...Max.
Max: Hi. So...so when did you get back?
Liz: A couple of days ago...actually.
Max: Well, that's odd. Maria said you were still away.
Liz: Yeah, I know she did. Um, you know, I just...I wanted to get settled a little bit before...
Max: Yeah. Yeah. I...I understand. Listen, Liz, I...I know how strange everything got before you left. But I think it's ok. No aliens have att*cked. Nasedo is putting an end to the special unit as we speak. I think all of this could finally be over.
Liz: Oh, I really hope that's true...for all of you.
Max: And I just want you to know about the whole Tess situation...
Liz: Oh, Max. You don't...you don't have to.
Max: It's just that it's definitely over. I don't have feelings for her.
I've told her that...and she understands. I know it's probably irrelevant at this point, but...just for the record.
Liz: Right. Yeah. I just want to get a fresh start. I've decided...
Max: Right...right. Anyway, you look...
Liz: Oh!
Max: Great!
Liz: No, it's...
Max: Different.
Liz: Oh, I have a job interview actually.
Max: Oh. What about the Crashdown?
Liz: Well, this really incredible opportunity came up sort of out of the...
(Someone arrives out of the blue and walks up to Liz)
Whitaker: You must be Liz Parker.
Liz: Congresswoman Whitaker! It is so nice to meet you. You are a real hero to me.
Whitaker: You don't need to suck up, really. My paid staff takes care of my enormous ego.
Liz: Oh, so there's, um, not an actual salary?
Whitaker: We have a lot to talk about.
(Congresswoman Whitaker turns to Max)
Whitaker: Hi.
Liz: I'm sorry. This is Max Evans. A friend.
Whitaker: Nice to meet you.
Max: Same here.
Whitaker: Should we step inside?
Liz: Yeah. Sure. It would be great.
(Valenti enters his office and we see Deputy Hanson and Michael waiting for him)
Deputy Hansen: This is the suspect, Sheriff. Came in peaceably. Although I do see a bit of an attitude problem.
Sheriff: You recognize that?
Michael: Well, there's a lot of knives out there that look like that.
Sheriff: How many of them do you suppose have your fingerprints on them, Mr. Guerin? My very efficient deputy here has linked this Kn*fe to you.
It was discovered way out in the desert, out near the old Clovis Highway. You remember our little meeting out there a few months ago? Do I have to refresh your memory?
Michael: Yeah. Maybe you'd better.
Sheriff: I found you and 2 of your buddies drinking beer, joyriding, taking potshots out into the desert. Remember?
Michael: Yeah.
Sheriff: Here's the police report I filled out that night, just in case you forgot. Now, did you witness anything out of the ordinary that night, Mr. Guerin?
Michael: N-no, sir.
Sheriff: All right. Listen, do yourself a favor. The next time you're going off to break the law somewhere, don't leave a calling card.
Michael: Yes, sir.
Sheriff: Get the hell out of here.
Deputy Hansen: I smell a rat.
(Michael is at a pay phone trying to contact Nasedo)
Michael: Nasedo. It's Michael.
Nasedo: Does Max know you're calling?
Michael: No. But we got a code red. Get the hell out here.
Nasedo: Don't ever contact me again unless Max knows.
Michael: Great people skills.
(We see Grant Sorensen in the desert doing more research on the ground)
Grant: Hey.
Isabel: Hey.
Grant: What are you doing out here?
Isabel: Looking for you actually.
Grant: Really?
Isabel: Well, Roswell's a small town. You know, when something interesting pops us, sometimes your curiosity gets the best of you.
Grant: Something interesting?
Isabel: Like the bones you dug up.
Grant: Ah...bones.
Isabel: It seems like such a romantic job, being a geologist, studying the earth. What exactly are you doing up here?
Grant: I'm testing the area for radioactivity.
Isabel: You're kidding. Here?
Grant: Apparently, there had been some nuclear testing in the fifties.
Isabel: Oh. Ok, so you're here to make sure it's safe for the public.
Grant: Actually, I'm here to make sure it's safe for a huge corporation to open a chemical plant.
Isabel: Oh.
Grant: They're the ones who commissioned me to do the survey.
Isabel: Wouldn't a big chemical plant just pollute the area anyway?
Grant: Does my job still seem so romantic?
Isabel: Well, beats working at the cheese factory.
(Back at the Sheriff's office, Congresswoman Whitaker and Sheriff Valenti are having an argument)
Whitaker: Well, let's just cut to the chase, shall we, Sheriff? This is a piece of a phone conversation I had with Agent Pierce when he first came to Roswell.
(Congresswoman Whitaker plays the tape)
Whitaker: How's it going there?
Pierce: Don't know yet. My first note is to look into the Sheriff here.
I think he may be the key to everything.
(Congresswoman Whitaker stops the tape)
Whitaker: That's the last I heard from him until he returned to Washington. That's when he started lying to me.
Sheriff: Congresswoman Whitaker, I would strongly advise that you not spend too much more energy looking for aliens. I mean, you just might find yourself out of a job like your friend, Mr. Pierce.
Whitaker: How odd. That almost sounds like a thr*at.
Deputy Hansen: Sheriff, I need...
Sheriff: Deputy!
Deputy Hansen: I'm truly sorry. I didn't realize you were in here with someone.
Sheriff: I'll be with you in a minute, Deputy.
Deputy Hansen: Right. I just got the coroner's report back...
Sheriff: Thank you, Deputy. I'll look it over when I get a chance.
Deputy Hansen: They found something on the m*rder victim.
Whitaker: m*rder victim?
Sheriff: There isn't any m*rder victim. It's some bones that were dug up by a geologist. We don't even know if they're human.
(Forensics investigators have put together the skeleton of the body found in the desert)
Dr. Bender: There's no doubt the bones are human, but that's not the interesting part of all this.
Deputy Hansen: Listen to this.
Dr. Bender: See this mass of bone structure?
Whitaker: What about it?
Dr. Bender: Well, now compare it to this other side of the rib cage.
This side has been melted and fused together.
Sheriff: The corpse was clearly in a f*re. What's your point?
Dr. Bender: f*re or no f*re, bone doesn't melt. Only some bizarre form of radiation could do this.
Whitaker: Any nuclear accidents in the area, Sheriff?
Dr. Bender: What we have here was caused by a short and very contained burst of unthinkable energy.
Sheriff: Well, I'm gonna start a full-blown investigation. Hanson, let's get back to the precinct. Bender, you'll let me know the other test results?
(Sheriff Valenti turns to Congresswoman Whitaker)
Sheriff: Why don't you go back to your office? And I'll keep you informed as things develop.
Whitaker: Actually, Sheriff, I think I'll stay right here.
Sheriff: With all due respect, I believe this matter is out of your jurisdiction.
Whitaker: And with all due respect to you, I have no intention of leaving this situation in the hands of a county sheriff. This is now a matter of federal interest.
Sheriff: I have every intention of consulting with the FBI on this.
Whitaker: No. I'll consult with the FBI. I'm not taking my eyes off these bones until I get an explanation.
Deputy Hansen: Sheriff, based on this new information, maybe I should bring that kid back in.
Whitaker: What kid?
(Michael is sleeping on his bed when there is a knock at his door)
Sheriff: Open the door! Police!
Michael: Valenti. I figured you'd have to come over here and give me grief about leaving the Kn*fe out there. Man, what's the big deal?
Sheriff: Mr. Guerin, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you by the court.
(Nasedo, disguised as Pierce, enters the Crashdown)
Pierce: You can never find those little pod people when you want them.
(One of the workers at the Crashdown recognizes Pierce from TV)
Customer: Hey! You're that guy from tv!
Pierce: Move, please.
Customer: Honey, get over here. It's that crazy FBI guy!
(Pierce enters the men's room and shuts the door behind him)
Customer: Hey!
(Pierce transforms back to Ed Harding)
Nasedo: Excuse me.
Customer: Honey?
Nasedo: Sheriff Valenti, welcome to the ever-burgeoning "I know an alien" club. You called me here. I assume it's important.
Max: How much do you know about Congressman Whitaker?
Nasedo: I know her intimately.
Tess: Intimately?
Nasedo: To borrow a rather crude human colloquialism, I've been diddling her all summer.
Maria: I hope he's using birth control.
Nasedo: I must admit, I've grown awfully fond of the foul temptress.
It's a shame I may now have to k*ll her.
Max: Well, Pierce's bones have been dug up, and apparently some of them have been fused in a way that is completely unexplainable by human terms.
Nasedo: Tell me how far this information has been leaked. I need to extinguish every human who has this information.
Alex: I'm going to assume present company is excluded?
Liz: Isn't m*rder what got you into this situation to begin with?
Nasedo: My job is to protect the royal 4. Their survival is critical to the survival of an entire race.
Max: No one's going to die. k*lling people isn't going to solve anything.
Nasedo: Oh, my. A pacifist for a king. Shall we all just commit joint su1c1de right now, or shall we wait for our enemies to show up and have a nice boxed lunch of us?
Max: We're not k*lling anyone. That's an order.
Nasedo: As you wish. The feds know about cadmium-x. If they find it on the bones, their first order of business will be to do to Michael what they did to you in the white room.
Max: We can't let that happen.
Nasedo: Where are the bones now?
Sheriff: Whitaker took them out of the coroner's office. I don't know where they are.
Isabel: Even if we knew where they were, what would we do with them?
Hiding them isn't going to solve the problem.
Max: I know what to do.
(Liz is being her workaholic self at Congresswoman Whitaker's office)
Whitaker: Parker, go home. It's late.
Liz: No, it's ok. I want to make sure you're organized.
Whitaker: I don't want to be h*t with a child labor suit.
Liz: I promise.
(Pierce enters the office)
Whitaker: Agent Pierce.
Pierce: Just Daniel. I'm a civilian now.
Whitaker: Uh, this is Liz Parker. She's my new intern.
Pierce: Pleasure.
Liz: Hi.
Whitaker: So, what brings a out-of-work FBI agent to Roswell? Seems like the worst place to be for a recovering alien hunter.
Pierce: I might be out here hunting something else.
Whitaker: What might that be?
Pierce: Nothing I could say in front of your new intern.
Whitaker: Oh, she's a big girl. I think she can handle it. Right, Parker?
Liz: Um, I'm just gonna go get some more folders. Excuse me.
Pierce: I needed to see you.
Whitaker: Well, you should have thought of that before you publicly humiliated me on tv.
Pierce: Don't let politics come between us.
Whitaker: Politics is the reason you slept with me to begin with.
Pierce: Well, maybe at first. It's more than that now. You showed me a side of myself...I didn't know existed.
Whitaker: Parker, can you lock up on your way out? I'll see you tomorrow.
Liz: Yeah. Have a good night.
Pierce: Oh, we will.
(Liz lets Max in after Congresswoman Whitaker leaves with Nasedo)
Max: We gotta move fast. I don't know how long he's going to be able to keep her away.
Liz: Well, I...I don't think that they're going to be back anytime soon.
(Sheriff Valenti visits Michael in his cell)
Sheriff: We only have a couple minutes to talk.
Michael: What's up?
Sheriff: I just want to make sure you don't do anything like use your powers to try to break out of here. The best thing to do right now is to sit tight.
Michael: You sound like Max.
Sheriff: Look, I know it's hard for you to be locked up like this.
Michael: It's not that bad. I k*lled a man. Maybe this is where I should be.
Sheriff: Michael, you k*lled the man who k*lled Agent Topolsky and k*lled Agent Stevens and who knows how many others, and he was just about to k*ll me.
Michael: Yeah. I've told myself all those things, but I still k*lled a man. And the thing that I keep thinking about is that what happened is just the tip of the iceberg. I've been trying to prepare myself for what's about to go down, and I have no idea what to do. I'm cracking rocks. I have no clue who or what we're up against. And I've been so pissed off at Max for not leading, but he doesn't know any more than I do. None of us do. We're all in the dark waiting to be att*cked, and all I can think about is what if I'm not strong enough?
(Max and Liz have thoroughly searched Congresswoman Whitaker's office)
Liz: There's nothing.
Max: Damn it!
Liz: So, I guess it's not all over.
Max: It can be. These are just bones that somebody dug up...pieces of the past. If I can just fix it, it can all be over. Things can go back to how they were.
Liz: I don't think they can. So, I never really got the whole story. Uh, why are we looking for these bones? What exactly is cadmium-x?
Max: It's an isotope of cadmium that might have been created when Michael k*lled Pierce.
Liz: Oh, so it's like some sort of after-effect of Michael using his powers?
Max: Something like that. And if we don't get the bones before they're able to test for cadmium-x, Michael is screwed. We all are.
Liz: Well, did you check the particle physics lab at Las Cruces University?
Max: The what?
Liz: It opened up last year. Mr. Saldeman spent like 2 weeks in physics obsessing about it last semester. The new cyclotron can measure isotope ratios, so if cadmium-x is extraterrestrial, that's where you would go to find it out. I'm not a dork. I just enjoy science.
(Max is walking along a street when Nasedo grabs him and pulls him into an alley)
Nasedo: Did you find anything?
Max: The bones are going to be delivered tomorrow morning to the University in Las Cruces.
Nasedo: I'll be there.
Max: So, did you have a good time distracting the congresswoman?
Nasedo: No comment. How have you and Tess been getting along?
Max: Well, I haven't performed any mating rituals if that's what you're asking.
Nasedo: You heard your destiny. You heard it with your own ears.
Max: I just want to get Michael out of jail and go back to my life. I'm not a king and we are not at w*r.
Nasedo: You're the boss. I would just be careful not to confuse what you want to be true with what really is true.
(Nasedo walks to his car and notices a piece of shed skin on the hood)
Nasedo: Oh, no.
(Inside the particle lab, Congresswoman Whitaker is overseeing the test on the skeleton)
Scientist 1: We'll be ready to start in 2 minutes.
Whitaker: Let's make history.
(Outside, Isabel goes up to the security guard, pretending that she's lost)
Isabel: Excuse me.
Guard: I'm a security guard, not an information booth.
Isabel: This is so embarrassing, but I am completely and utterly lost. I have been looking all over the place for the student union, but apparently I have no sense of direction. At least that's what my boyfriend says. Well, ex-boyfriend.
Guard: I'll take you.
Isabel: I was hoping you'd say that.
(Max uses his power to enter the lab and then calls Tess on a cell phone)
Tess: Max?
Max: Where's Nasedo?
Tess: He's still not here.
Max: We can't wait any longer. Are you ready?
Tess: Yeah.
Max: I see 8 people in the control room.
Tess: That's a lot of people.
Max: Tess, we need you. Can you do this or not?
Tess: I think so.
Max: You can't let anyone in that room see me.
Tess: I got it. I won't let you down. But with this many people, I can only sustain the mind warp for a couple of minutes.
Max: It'll have to do.
Tess: Ok. Bye.
(Back inside the lab)
Scientist 1: Ready to go.
Whitaker: Gentlemen, start your engines.
(Max sneaks in as Tess uses her mind warp power to prevent anyone from seeing Max)
Scientist 1: Initiating accelerator. Up to speed.
(Max starts changing the properties of the skeleton with his powers)
Scientist 1: Begin scan at 10 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Whitaker: That's impossible.
Scientist 1: The results are pretty conclusive. There's no evidence of cadmium-x anywhere.
Whitaker: Doesn't make any sense.
Scientist 2: Sir, look at this.
Scientist 1: Very interesting. We carbon-dated the bones.
Whitaker: What does that mean exactly?
Scientist 2: It's a way of measuring the decay of radioactive carbon isotopes in bones. The ratio of carbon isotopes depends on how long the organism has been d*ad.
Whitaker: Can you translate that into English, please?
Scientist 1: It's a fancy way of figuring out how long ago the body that belonged to that skeleton died.
Whitaker: What does it say about these bones?
Scientist 1: These bones have been out in that desert for 42 years.
Whitaker: What about the fused ribs around the point of impact?
Scientist 2: Well, the fused ribs could be explained as a mutation due to radiation resulting from the nuclear tests which were done in the area in 1958.
Scientist 1: 42 years ago.
Whitaker: Something about this isn't right.
(At the Crashdown, the g*ng is celebrating the success of their operation)
Max: So I thought if I could age the bones, it would totally take suspicion off Michael.
Michael: Thanks, Maxwell.
Max: Better sew the holes in your pockets, soldier.
(Courtney walks out from the Crashdown kitchen area)
Courtney: Hey! What's the big celebration?
Maria: Tradition. School starts monday. It's kind of like our last hurrah.
Courtney: Cool. Well, see ya. Hi, Michael.
Maria: Sorry. I didn't know that she was still here. I'm sorry.
Michael: We gotta be more careful than that.
Maria: So, I hear ex-cons are really great in bed.
Michael: I thought we agreed that it was over between us.
Maria: You agreed, and then you avoided me the entire summer.
Michael: Well, it is.
Maria: Why? 'Cause you're destined to be with Isabel?
Michael: No. I don't buy that. Because I'm destined to be the soldier, and a soldier can't have some chick at home waiting for him.
Maria: Michael, half the movies ever made are about soldiers with chicks waiting at home for them.
Michael: Well, be that as it may...
Maria: I miss you, Michael.
Michael: I know, but don't.
(Max leaves the Crashdown and meets Liz just as she's coming back home)
Liz: Hey.
Max: Hey. Let me ask you a question. I know what you said...that things couldn't go back to the way they were, but pretend they could for just one second. Could you and I go back, too?
Liz: I...I can't pretend, Max.
(Max touches Liz on her arm and she gets a flood of images)
Max: What?
Liz: Nothing. Good night.
Max: Night, Liz.
(Max walks into his room and plops down on the bed)
Max: Uhh!
(Someone knocks on Max's window)
Max: Michael, what is it? It's late. Michael?
(Max opens the window and someone tumbles inside)
Max: Nasedo!
Nasedo: They're among you now.
Max: Who is? Who's among us?
Nasedo: The skins.
Max: No. No. No. No!
(The scene ends with Nasedo dying in Max's arms) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x01 - Skin and Bones"} | foreverdreaming |
"Ask Not"
Episode: 2
24th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA02
Written by: Jason Katims
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 9, 2000
(Episode starts inside the Crashdown. Isabel, Maria, Tess, and Liz are dressed in dancing clothes and are getting into a dancing groove. Isabel sets up the music by using her powers on some CDs. The scene flashes back and forth from the party at the Crashdown to Max, who is running to the Crashdown as fast as he can to inform everyone of what happened to Nasedo)
Maria: He's watching, isn't he?
(Liz looks at Michael, who is stealing glances at Maria. She nods to Maria)
Maria: I knew he couldn't resist. Come on.
Liz: No.
Maria: Come on.
Liz: Maria, no.
Maria: You know you want to. So, what's up with you and Max?
Liz: Nothing.
Maria: Oh, I saw the way you looked at him. Did you have a flash?
(Liz laughs)
Maria: I knew it.
(We see Max continue to run wildly through the streets. He avoids running into a man moving chairs and crashes into a table, but gets right back up and keeps running towards the Crashdown. Once he enters, he slumps to the ground, breathing heavily)
Tess: Max!
Max: Nasedo's d*ad.
Michael: What?
Max: He came to me, injured. Said...said it was another alien and that we're all in danger. He died...in my arms. He...he died in my arms.
Isabel: Oh, my God.
Michael: We have to get Nasedo to the pod chamber...use the healing stones to revive him. Max, where is he? Where's Nasedo?
Max: In my room.
Isabel: In your room?
Michael: Where's the jeep?
Isabel: Out back. I'll get the keys.
Liz: Oh, Max, you're hurt.
(Liz watches as Tess removes the bruise from Max's face)
Alex: What should we do?
Michael: Nothing. Just go home.
Maria: Wait. What about this other alien? Shouldn't we at least try and go...
Michael: I'll handle it.
Tess: You're not in charge here, Michael.
Michael: Well, somebody has to be. Maxwell, let's go. Come on.
(The Pod Squad arrives at the Pod Chamber with Nasedo. They use the stones and they glow brightly, then slowly fade)
Tess: It's not working. Why isn't it working?
Max: I think whatever happened to him is...something we can't reverse.
Tess: He can't die. We need him.
Isabel: I'm sorry, Tess.
Michael: You said he mentioned another alien. What exactly did he say?
Max: He said that we were all in danger...that the skins were among us.
Michael: The skins.
Max: What?
Michael: I found this thing out by Pierce's grave site. It looked like a snake skin. When I tried picking it up, it disintegrated.
Isabel: Look.
(Nasedo's body slowly dissolves into dust)
Tess: What do we do now, Max?
(Opening credits)
(We see a bus pull up to the Roswell Bus Depot. Kyle gets off the bus, having spent his summer at football camp. He looks around for his dad, who is nowhere to be seen. A couple hours later, Sheriff Valenti finally shows up)
Sheriff: Hey!
Kyle: Hey.
Sheriff: Welcome home, son. Oh...I'm sorry I'm late. How was football camp?
Kyle: It was great. It was great. You...you're 2 hours late.
Sheriff: Yeah, I know. I know. You came back at kind of a tough time, Kyle. You remember I told you about a man who was protecting Tess?
Kyle: Yeah. Noriega.
Sheriff: Nasedo. Yeah. He, um...he was k*lled last night...by another alien.
Kyle: My strength fails. My vitality exhausted. I cannot find the bull. I only hear the locusts chirring through the night.
Sheriff: What?
Kyle: Nothing.
Sheriff: You ok?
Kyle: Yeah. I just...I'm just not looking forward to dealing with all the little green men again.
Sheriff: Well, listen, maybe you should...maybe you should cut 'em a little slack, Kyle. I mean, after all, Max Evans did save your life.
Kyle: Damn human of him. Of course, he is the reason I got sh*t in the first place, but what the hell. No conditions are permanent. No conditions are reliable. Nothing is self.
(Kyle walks to the car, leaving Sheriff Valenti with a puzzled look on his face)
(Michael and Isabel are talking in the hallway at school)
Michael: Come back to school. What a great plan.
Isabel: I am so not having this conversation.
Michael: You realize the k*ller could be here right now...walking the halls looking for us...and gee, where are we? Hey, we're right here, just waiting to be found.
Isabel: You know what? Stop, ok? Stop putting me in the middle of this. If you have a problem, take it to Max. He's the leader.
Michael: If we're not careful, he's gonna get us all k*lled.
(Max walks up to them)
Michael: Hi. Gotta go. Bell rang.
(Michael takes off)
Max: We're doing the right thing. Until we know what we're up against, we've got to keep our heads down. Try to blend in.
Isabel: I hope so. I'm too young to be dust.
(Max walks through the halls. We see him through the skin's eyes. Max feels like he's being watches and ducks behind a corner. He slowly looks back and sees the door to the storage room close. He walks up to the room, opens the door quickly, and creates an energy field between himself and the person in front of him...who happens to be a welder with his mask on)
Welder: What was that?
Max: What was what?
(Welder takes off his mask and looks at it funny)
(In history class, Mr Lafeber is talking about the leadership skills of John F. Kennedy)
Lafeber: What does it mean to be a leader? In the fall of 1962, John Kennedy was still a young man. The Soviets thought he was a pushover, and at that point most Americans would have agreed. And yet, John Kennedy would rise to the occasion, face down the Soviets, and bring the world back from the brink of nuclear w*r. Now, this week as we study the m*ssile crisis in detail, I want you to think of John Kennedy, the man. Think what it would feel like to hold the fate of an entire nation in your hands. Imagine what it would be like to come face to face with the very real possibility that your next decision could literally mean the end of the world.
(Max arrives at the UFO Center. There are movers milling about, moving lots of crates inside. Brody Davis, the new owner, walks up to him)
Brody: Are you Max Evans?
Max: Yeah. Who are you?
Brody: Brody Davis. You're working for me now.
Max: Excuse me? Milton didn't tell me...
Brody: Milton's gone. I bought him out.
Max: He sold the UFO center? This was his life's work.
Brody: Things change.
Max: What's all this stuff?
Brody: I'm making some improvements. You know, we don't need you here tonight. Go home.
Max: But I'm not finished...
Brody: I said go home. Evans? If anybody asks, you never saw any of this.
(Max is on his way home when he sees Tess sitting on a bench gazing up at the stars)
Tess: Hey, Max.
Max: Hey. You ok?
Tess: No. He tried to prepare me for this, you know? He said there might come a time when...he wouldn't be around anymore and I'd have to fend for myself. Somehow I...I always thought it wouldn't come until we were back home.
Max: When you say home, you mean...
Tess: Home.
(Switch to Maria and Liz in Maria's car)
Maria: It is just a matter of time before you weaken.
Liz: Thank you.
Maria: It's not a dig. It's just a fact. You are in love with him. You can't live without him, and you're going to get back together with him.
Liz: No. That's not true. I walked away. From him and her and the entire situation.
Maria: Her? There is no "her". Max doesn't care about Tess. He's never gonna care about Tess. The only thing he's interested in...
(Maria happens to drive by and sees Max and Tess walking together along the street)
Maria: Oh, God.
(Liz looks out the window and sees them together)
Maria: Liz...
Liz: Maria, whatever you're about to say, just don't, ok?
(Switch back to Max and Tess' conversation)
Max: You remember our world?
Tess: Not clearly. Images, mostly. Impressions, feelings.
Max: How?
Tess: Nasedo taught me a few memory retrieval techniques. I can show them to you some time.
Max: Sure.
Tess: "Sure, Tess. As long as you keep your hands off me." It's ok. I know how you feel about me...how everyone feels about me.
Max: It's not that I dislike you.
Tess: You don't have to spare my feelings. Nasedo taught me not to get wrapped up in...this. It's not really who I am. I'm not human. Neither are you.
Max: It's the only life I've ever known.
Tess: That's not true. You lived another life, Max...a life completely different from this one...a life when you loved me.
(Tess reaches out to touch Max's cheek. He lifts his hand to her hand and slowly removes it from his face)
Max: I don't remember that.
Tess: I do.
(There is a noise from inside the house)
Max: What was that?
Tess: Someone's inside.
(Max and Tess enter her house and Max races through to the back. The back gate swings slowly as Max reaches it)
Tess: Maybe it was just a burglar.
(Max examines the bushes nearby and finds a piece of shedded skin)
Max: I don't think so.
(It's late at night at the Valenti residence. Sheriff Valenti hears some noise and grabs his g*n. He slowly opens the door and finds Max and Tess on his front porch)
Sheriff: Sorry.
Max: No problem. We need your help.
(Morning at the Valenti household...Kyle's alarm goes off and he rolls out of bed and immediately does some pushups)
Kyle: 2...3...
(Kyle walks out of his bedroom, looks around, and does a double take as he sees Tess sleeping on the couch)
Kyle: Dad!
Tess: Morning.
Kyle: Yes, morning. What the hell are you doing here?
Tess: I live here.
(Tess looks at Kyle's boxers)
Tess: Calvin Klein. I approve.
Kyle: Dad!
(Congresswoman Whitaker arrives at her office, where Liz is already hard at work)
Whitaker: Parker.
Liz: Hi.
Whitaker: Are there any other messages? Did Mr. Pierce call?
Liz: No.
Whitaker: Look at me...waiting for my boyfriend to call. Which one of us is in high school?
(Congresswoman Whitaker enters her room. Liz takes a moment to come up with a reason why Pierce won't be stopping by anymore)
Liz: Actually, Congresswoman...Agent Pierce isn't coming back...ever.
Whitaker: What are you talking about? You make it sound like he's d*ad.
Liz: No, no, no. Um...uh...you see, he left this message, a voicemail, saying that he was going away and he wasn't coming back ever and that it was over between the two of you.
Whitaker: I want to hear it.
Liz: Um...I erased it. It was really harsh and cold and...you know, trust me, you just...you didn't want to hear it.
Whitaker: I can make those decisions for myself, Parker. I'm a big girl.
Liz: I'm sorry.
Whitaker: Voicemail.
(In history class, Mr. Lafeber is discussing more of the Cuban m*ssile Crisis)
Lafeber: Day 4 of the crisis. Kennedy is getting pressure from all sides. The military wants an att*ck. The diplomats want a blockade. So what is he supposed to do? One thing is clear: he's running out of time. The m*ssile in Cuba will become operational any day now. Unless he acts...and acts soon, he runs the risk of allowing events to control him. So right or wrong, a choice has to be made, and it has to be made right now.
(At the UFO Center, Max decides to take a look around. He breaks into Brody's secure area. Among other things, he sees a map on the monitor screen with a note at Roswell, New Mexico: Pulse detected 4:33pm, May 14th. He also sees a pentagram device and reaches out to touch it)
Max: May 14th. Oh, my God.
Brody: Don't touch that! What are you doing in here?
Max: Just looking around. I was curious about all the equipment you brought in.
(Brody picks up the pentagram device)
Brody: You recognize this?
Max: No. What is it?
Brody: I'm asking the questions. Why were you reaching for it?
Max: Just curious again.
Brody: It's over, Evans. Go home. Don't come back. You're fired.
(Maria pays a visit to Liz at Whitaker's office the next morning)
Maria: Hey, I think I know why Max and Tess were, you know, together last night. He was just playing bodyguard. He was walking her home in case the, uh, k*ller was following her.
Liz: You know, you don't have to make excuses for him.
Maria: Who's making excuses? I'm just trying to help him, help you, you know, help the situation.
Liz: Did he send you here?
Maria: No.
Liz: He did, didn't he?
Maria: Not this time. I mean...no. No, of course not.
Liz: Maria, I thought that you were my friend.
Maria: This is so unfair. I care about you both. I just want you guys to be happy and together.
Liz: Maria, will you do me a favor? Will you keep your big fat nose out of this?
Maria: Message received. Man!
Liz: Look, I have a lot of work to do, so just...
Maria: Fine, fine. You weren't...you weren't serious about the big fat nose...
Liz: Good-bye.
Maria: Bye.
(Maria leaves and Liz goes back to work. She hears a grinding noise coming from Congresswoman Whitaker's room and decides to investigate. She knocks on the door before entering, and finds Congresswoman Whitaker drinking alcohol while shredding some files)
Liz: Oh.
Whitaker: Not a very pretty sight, is it?
Liz: You know, I wasn't...I wasn't thinking.
Whitaker: Don't be shy. It's not every day you walk in on your boss drinking and shredding...but then again, you've never worked in Washington.
Liz: Is there anything I can do?
Whitaker: You wanna help? Grab a file. Feed the beast.
Liz: You're shredding all the alien files?
Whitaker: I am shredding Special Agent Pierce and everything having to do with him. You ever been in love, Parker?
Liz: Once.
Whitaker: He dumped you, too?
Liz: Not exactly.
Whitaker: What, you left him?
Liz: There was just someone else in his life.
Whitaker: But you walked. See? You go, girl. Don't you let any man pull that crap on you, you know?
Liz: Yeah.
Whitaker: Yeah. Who is this bitch who moved in on your man?
Liz: Oh, she's, um, just someone. This girl from his past.
Whitaker: Oh. Worst kind.
Liz: You know, she's not that bad.
Whitaker: Yeah, right. Like you don't hate her.
Liz: Maybe a little bit.
Whitaker: Uh-huh. See, now, let it out. The truth will set you free.
Liz: Ok. I...I do. I hate her.
Whitaker: That is more like it! Now, does this tramp have a name?
Liz: Tess!
Whitaker: Tess?! What is that? I hate her already.
Liz: I know!
(The phone rings in the outer room)
Liz: Oh, ok. I gotta get the phone. Um, are you ok?
Whitaker: Yeah.
Liz: Ok.
(After Liz leaves the room, Congresswoman Whitaker's face darkens. She was obviously pumping Liz for information)
Whitaker: Tess.
(Kyle strolls into his room to find Tess on his bed reading one of his magazines)
Kyle: Hey. This is my room and that's my jersey.
Tess: Sorry.
(Tess starts to take off Kyle's jersey)
Kyle: No! All right, look. You wear it.
Tess: Kind of uptight about nudity, aren't you, for a guy who reads Jugs?
Kyle: Give me that!
Tess: Oh...the post-its? Nice touch.
Kyle: All right. Ok, listen. I don't know how you do things on planet Vulcan or whatever, but here on Earth we have this primitive human concept called privacy.
Tess: Keep talking to me like that and I'll slag you with my death-ray eyes.
(Kyle looks a bit uncertain)
Tess: Kidding. You Buddhists have, like, no sense of humor.
Kyle: How do you know about that?
Tess: "Buddhism for Beginners" is also under your bed. How do you think the Buddha would feel about being sandwiched between Hustler and Busty Biker Babes?
Kyle: Look, you can't tell anyone about that.
Tess: Why?
Kyle: Because I have a certain reputation.
Tess: Of which, the less said the better.
Kyle: I'm serious.
Tess: Kyle Valenti, Buddhist.
Kyle: Look, I got into it over the summer...
Tess: At football camp. They're crazy about it.
Kyle: Listen! This...this whole aliens-are-among-us thing...it really screwed me up...made me question stuff...life, reality, my place in this universe...and you don't understand. You...you guys...you people turned my life upside down. I need a little clarity. I need a little peace of mind.
Tess: No, I don't understand. I'm a girl from another planet. No family, no friends. Only 3 other people like me in the world. And the man I grew up with...the man who raised me...he was just m*rder. You're right, Kyle. What would I know about needing peace of mind?
(Tess leaves the room and Kyle is taken aback by her comments. He didn't realize she might be going through the same thing he is)
Kyle: Sorry.
(At some bleachers, Max explains to Michael and Isabel what happened to him at the UFO Center)
Max: It was shaped like a pentagon, and it was definitely alien.
Michael: An alien device in the hands of a perfect stranger...a stranger who just happens to buy the UFO center from Milton, or so he says.
Max: What's that supposed to mean?
Michael: Why would Milton sell? That stupid tourist trap was his life. So one day he just sells to this guy, takes the money and disappears? No, I don't think so.
Max: So you're saying he k*lled Milton?
Michael: Well, after k*lling Nasedo, k*lling Milton would be like swatting a fly.
Isabel: If he k*lled Nasedo.
Michael: Yeah. He's also interested in something that happened on May 14th.
Isabel: All right, so it's the day that we got the message from our mother, but that doesn't really prove anything...
Michael: Will you wake up!?! Nasedo told us before we activated the orbs that we might be telling our enemies where we are.
Max: Keep your voice down.
Michael: Yes, sir. What do you want to do next, fearless leader?
Max: I'm gonna talk to Valenti...have him try to find Milton. Hopefully he's still alive and just on vacation somewhere. Which means he can tell us more about Brody and how he...
Michael: Instead of all this talk, why don't we just break into the UFO center and take the damn thing?
Max: Because it's too dangerous. If he is a skin, our best protection right now is that he doesn't know who we really are.
Michael: I say that's a load of crap. But ok, fine. We got one vote for breaking in and we got one against. Isabel?
Isabel: Don't put this on me, Michael.
Max: We are not voting on this, Michael. I've made my decision. That is the end of it.
Michael: You know, Maxwell, I don't remember this other life we're supposed to have lived, but I do know I was your trusted second-in-command, and I am pretty damned sure that you used to listen to me.
(As expected, Michael disobeys Max's orders and goes to the UFO Center to investigate. Hiding behind one of the exhibits, he sees Brody walk out of a room with the pentagram device in his hand. It starts making some noises and then releases a blue blast of energy which knocks Michael across the room. Brody is surprised that someone was in the UFO Center and rushes over to where Michael landed)
Brody: Who's there?! Stay where you are! Hey! Don't move!
(Michael, visibly hurt, limps out of the UFO Center)
Brody: Hey! Hey!
(Back at the Evans household, Isabel is checking to see if Michael is ok)
Isabel: They don't feel broken.
(Michael winces)
Michael: Yeah. Not to you.
Max: Nice move, Michael. How many times do we have to have the same conversation? How many times do I...
Isabel: Knock it off, Max! All right? He's been through enough. He doesn't need a lecture.
Michael: Thank you. Better late than never.
Max: I just don't want to see any of us get hurt.
Isabel: I know...but someone did get hurt. Michael nearly got k*lled tonight. Nasedo already has been k*lled. Something has to be done, Max. We have to do something about Brody.
Max: What are you saying?
Isabel: We have to k*ll him.
Michael: Wow.
Isabel: He used an alien w*apon. What human could do that? He's a skin...whatever that means. And he k*lled Nasedo and he's been stalking the rest of us. We're at w*r. It's him or us, and I choose us.
Michael: Me, too.
(The following day in History class, Mr. Lafeber continues the series on John F. Kennedy)
Lafeber: What will he do? An American spy plane has just been sh*t down over Cuba. The American pilot is d*ad. There is enormous pressure to strike back, but is it the right move? At the right time? Kennedy has no shortage of advice. His own brother Bobby is doubting him, but in the end, it's his call, and whatever course he chooses, history will be his final judge.
(Max is discussing his problem with Maria)
Max: How did he know? How did Kennedy know to be tough with the Russians early but later to hang back and play it safe, even after they sh*t down the U2?
Maria: I don't know.
Max: I don't either. That's the problem. I'm supposed to be this great leader, but I don't know how to make these kinds of decisions. I don't have that kind of insight. How am I supposed to know what's the right course of action?
Maria: Hmm. I have a thought.
(Maria grabs a book and pretends to whack Max with it a few times)
Maria: What are you talking about?! Here you are giving me this history lesson. You haven't even told me what the hell's going on, Max.
Max: I know. I'm sorry. Look, I'm just trying to figure out how to...
Maria: Yes, yes. You're trying to figure out how to be a leader. All right. Here's a little insight. JFK. He's not so great. Cheated on his wife with tramps. Ohhhh...now there's something you and Jack have in common. You're both involved with tramps. How is Tess, by the way?
Max: I'm not involved with Tess.
Maria: Just taking midnight strolls with her?
Max: You saw us?
Maria: Yeah. WE saw you...as in, Liz and I saw you together. Looked like a pretty romantic evening to me. Maybe a little patty-cake on the front porch before you said good night?
Max: No. It's just...it's a long story.
Maria: Oh, well, I certainly don't want to hear a long story unless there's a Kennedy involved.
Max: I love Liz.
Maria: I know you love Liz, Max. You've been telling me that the entire summer. But now that she's back, I'm the one who's doing all the work here.
Max: What am I supposed to do?
Maria: I don't know. Do something. Show her how you feel, and please, please...do it now. Look, I'm sorry. I know that you're dealing with this "Roswell m*ssile Crisis" or something...just try and follow your heart. I mean, isn't that what the great leaders always do?
(Max, Michael, and Isabel prepare to enter the UFO Center and deal with Brody)
Max: Let's do it.
(As Max walks through the exhibit hall, he gets continuous flashes of Pierce being thrown across the room as Michael unleashes his power, Hubble being sh*t, Liz being sh*t, and himself being tortured in the white room. He then starts seeing images of JFK along with those other images, and realizes he can't let the situation dictate his course of action)
Max: No. We can't do this.
Michael: What!?!
Max: This isn't us.
Isabel: I know what you're saying, but we have to do something.
Michael: Brody's d*ad. End of subject.
(Max erects a force field between himself and Michael and Isabel to prevent them from proceeding further)
Michael: What the hell?
Isabel: When did you learn to do that?
Max: Awhile ago. Just wait here.
Isabel: What are you gonna do?
Max: Face him. Find out the truth.
Michael: And if he kills you?
Max: Then you can be fearless leader.
(Max walks into Brody's secure area)
Max: What are you doing in Roswell?
Brody: Is this one of those "disgruntled ex-employee shows up late at night to k*ll his boss" stories?
Max: I'd hate for it to turn into that. Why won't you answer the question?
Brody: Because I'm not here to answer your questions.
Max: No. You're here because of what happened on May 14th.
Brody: How do you know about May 14th?
Max: It's all over your files.
Brody: You rehearsed that answer. You're here because of this.
(Brody reaches for the pentagram device and Max grabs his arm)
Max: You're one of us, aren't you?
Brody: That's right. I suspected we were alike, but I wasn't sure.
Max: Why are you here? What do you want?
Brody: What we all want. To re-establish contact. Maybe even to go back. Will you let go of me now?
(Max releases Brody's arm)
Brody: Do you remember what happened?
Max: Not entirely.
Brody: Me neither. 2 years of recovered-memory therapy and still the only thing I can remember about my abduction is the color of the walls, the smell of burnt hair.
Max: Abduction?
Brody: Yeah, I know. I hate the word, too. I mean, you can tell people you've seen the Virgin Mary and they'll light candles outside your bathroom, but you tell 'em you've been abducted by aliens and they'll write you off as a lunatic. It happened to me 7 years ago. I was driving my car down the Massachusetts Turnpike, and before you know it, I'm in the room and they're doing...something to me, and then I'm back in my car and 2 days have gone by, and I'm in West Virginia. I would have written the entire thing off as an acid flashback. Then my doctor told me the cancer was gone. It was bone marrow. Terminal. A year to live and poof...it's gone.
Max: And you're trying to re-establish contact with the aliens?
Brody: I have to.
(Max motions toward the pentagram device)
Max: What about that?
Brody: That I bought..I dunno...3 years ago from some guy who deals in supposed alien artifacts. I thought it was a piece of junk, and then on May 14th, that thing just came to life. It sent out this pulse. So I...I hired a team...had them check the entire radio telescope network for anything unusual, and they found something.
(We see Michael and Isabel listening in on the conversation)
Brody: A signal, Max. A strange high-energy microwave signal that corresponded exactly with what I saw. And you know where this signal came from?
Max: Roswell.
Brody: Exactly. Do you know what this means, Max? Aliens. I mean, not like they're walking among us or anything stupid like that, but they're actually making contact with people right here in Roswell. Now what do you think of that? So what about you, Max? What's your abduction story?
(Max, Michael, and Isabel leave the UFO Center. Isabel reaches her hand around and hugs Max, glad that they didn't have to k*ll Brody. Michael looks a bit sheepish, realizing that Max was right. We realize the skin is looking at them as they walk from the UFO Center to the Crashdown)
(At the Crashdown, Max and Isabel explain to Alex and Tess what happened)
Alex: So where'd he get the money to buy the UFO center?
Isabel: Well, he helped take an internet start-up company public.
Max: Instant millionaire. But when he started talking about his abduction he became a liability. They bought him off.
Isabel: Yeah, for $300 million.
Alex: Note to self...take more computer classes.
Tess: But what about the att*ck on Michael?
Isabel: Brody said the device just went off in his hand. It send out a pulse without warning, so I think it was because Michael was near, but I'm not sure.
Alex: But why would it react to Michael and not to you?
Max: I don't know.
(Kyle enters the Crashdown and motions for Tess to walk over to him)
Tess: Uh-oh.
(Tess walks over to Kyle)
Tess: So what have I done now?
Kyle: You know my...my father does consider this to be a very temporary arrangement. You understand that?
Tess: Sure.
Kyle: All right. So in that case, I just wanted to tell you that I moved all my crap out of the room. You can have it. I'll sleep on the couch or something.
Tess: You didn't have to.
Kyle: It's not a big deal. Uh, material possessions only clutter the mind anyway.
Tess: You tell 'em, Buddha boy.
Kyle: All right. I'll see ya.
Tess: Hey. Thanks.
(Michael just finished an order and waits for someone to pick it up. Courtney walks over)
Courtney: So, Michael, how do you feel about piercings?
Michael: I don't.
Courtney: You should think about it.
Michael: Not into pain.
Courtney: Well, it only hurts once, then it's about the stimulation.
(Maria walks over to them)
Maria: Table 4 is waiting.
(Courtney picks up the order and leaves, while Michael goes back to the kitchen, obviously trying to avoid Maria)
(Liz enters the Crashdown. Max is frozen for a moment, and then walks after her)
Max: I need to talk to you.
Liz: Max, I need to talk to Maria.
Max: Look, you need to hear this.
Liz: Maria tried to explain to me about you and Tess the other night, ok? But I don't...
Max: This isn't about Tess. It's about you and me. You think I'm gonna forget about you or get over it or something, but...but I'm not. I don't...I don't care about my destiny or my planet or anything else. All I care about is you. So just know this...I'm coming for you, Liz.
(Max walks back to the table)
Maria: Now that is a great man.
Tess: You realize our problems aren't over, don't you, Max? Whoever k*lled Nasedo is still out there...and he's probably close by.
(Courtney walks up to Maria. She needs to use the restroom)
Courtney: Cover me?
Maria: What else is new?
(At the end of the episode, we find out who the skin is. Courtney closes the door behind her, locks it, and immediately goes to the mirror. She digs her nails into her neck and pulls off a piece of skin from her face. She then drops the skin in the toilet and flushes it down the drain) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x02 - Ask Not"} | foreverdreaming |
"Surprise"
Episode: 3
25th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA03
Written by: Toni Graphia
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 9, 2000
(Episode begins with Isabel in an abandoned building. She finds Tess on the ground, badly beaten)
Isabel: Oh, God! Tess! Oh, god, Tess! Tess! Tess, wake up! Oh, God. Wake up!
Tess: Isabel?
Isabel: Ok, come on. Come on, Tess. I'll get you out. It's ok. Ok. Ok. Come on. Come on. I'll get you out of here. It's ok. It's ok. We'll make it. I promise. We'll make it. Ok.
(Isabel moves Tess into a room and bolts the door)
Isabel: Tess. Stay with me. Stay with me, damn it. Don't die on me now. Don't die on me now.
(The door unlocks and swings open. Isabel recognizes the person)
Isabel: It's you.
(Opening credits)
(Isabel is on her way to the Crashdown, where her friends have prepared a surprise party. She's wearing a party dress)
Everyone: Surprise!
Mrs. Evans: Oh, happy birthday, sweetheart!
Isabel: Oh, my God! Oh! I could k*ll you all.
Mrs. Evans: k*ll your brother. He's the one who planned the entire thing.
Max: Happy birthday, old lady.
Isabel: Max, I can't believe you did this with everything that's happening.
Max: It's still your birthday.
Isabel: Max, you're the worst, really. I don't know what to say.
Maria: Say that you're surprised, 'cause he was totally, totally stressing that you'd figure it out.
Isabel: I had no idea.
Max: Really?
Michael: Alex told you to come by so he could give you back a book. I mean, what a lame excuse. How could you not figure that out?
Isabel: Where is Alex, anyway?
Maria: He's, um, he's still getting dressed.
(We see Courtney using her alien power to fill some empty glasses with beverages)
Mrs. Evans: Can you believe your brother did all of this in, like, 3 days' time?
Isabel: No.
Courtney: Happy birthday to you.
Isabel: Oh, thank you.
Courtney: Mm-hmm.
Mrs. Evans: Oh, honey. You know, your dad is beside himself that he's still stuck in Minneapolis.
Isabel: That's ok. Poor guy.
Mrs. Evans: By the way, honey, why are you wearing that dress?
Isabel: Um, oh...
Michael: Yeah. If you really didn't know about the party, then how'd you know to dress up?
Isabel: I...I didn't. I...actually, I had, um, other plans.
Grant: Isabel. Sorry I'm late. I didn't know there was going to be a party.
Isabel: Neither did I. Purple are my favorite.
Grant: So I heard.
Michael: No, wait. Who's ever heard of purple roses? What, did you, like, dye them or something?
Isabel: They're sterling roses, Michael. They're...they're really rare and expensive.
Grant: Well, I'm impressed. No one's ever given me a surprise party.
Mrs. Evans: Oh, when's your birthday?
Grant: December 7th.
Mrs. Evans: And what year might that be?
Isabel: Mom!
(Isabel notices some blood on the back of Grant's neck)
Isabel: Oh, you...you're bleeding on your...
Grant: I am?
Isabel: Oh, here. Let me.
Isabel (to Mom): Here, mom. Will you...
(Isabel hands Mrs. Evans the glass the was holding)
Grant: Must have happened when I slipped down the ravine on the dig today.
(Isabel has an incoherent vision)
Grant: What?
Isabel: Nothing. No, nothing.
Grant: Well, this obviously isn't a good time for a date.
Isabel: Well, you're welcome to stay.
Michael: Or go.
Grant: Actually, I have some samples I should drop off at the lab tonight anyway. I'll call you.
Isabel: Ok.
(Grant leaves and Mrs. Evans is visibly upset)
Mrs. Evans: You know, honey, not now and not tonight, but pretty soon you and I are gonna have to have a little talk.
Max: Ditto.
(Isabel has a vision of Tess in an accident. She drops her drink)
Isabel: Oh, God.
Mrs. Evans: Are you all right?
Isabel: I'm just so clumsy tonight.
Courtney: I'll get that.
Isabel: Are you sure? I can...I can get it.
Courtney: This is your night.
(In Whitaker's office, Liz is dancing a bit while organizing some files. Whitaker comes in and wonders what's going on)
Liz: Oh! I'm sorry.
Whitaker: Where'd you get that?
Liz: Oh...um, there were just some CDs out on your desk. I can put them back.
(As Liz turns off the boombox, Whitaker locks one of the file cabinets. Liz notices this)
Whitaker: No, it's fine. Run lola run, huh?
Liz: It's a great soundtrack.
Whitaker: Yeah. It's really cool. I loved this movie. Story of my life.
Liz: I know what you mean.
Whitaker: It's after 7:00. What are you still doing here?
Liz: Oh, um, I was just gonna finish up these reports.
Whitaker: They'll be here tomorrow. Go home. Here, take Lola.
Liz: Oh, really? That would be so great, because I have this party I want to get to.
Whitaker: Oh, really? There's a party?
Liz: Yeah. Um, it's just this small birthday party for a friend of mine at the Crashdown.
Whitaker: That cafe your parents own. Oh, I adore that place.
Liz: Thank you.
Whitaker: You know, it would be great to finally meet them.
Liz: Oh, I don't think that they're gonna be there.
Whitaker: I'll just pop my head in for 5 minutes. Never hurts to mingle with my constituents.
Liz: Yeah, sure. Uh, that'd be great.
Whitaker: I'm just gonna h*t the powder room...freshen my lipstick.
(Liz uses a letter opener to unlock the cabinet that Whitaker locked. She finds a CD labeled "Parker Liz, Date: Sep 6-19". She puts the CD in the boombox and listens via headphones)
Liz: I can't just go to a movie in the middle of the day, Maria.
Maria: Tell her you got a doctor's appointment.
Liz: And anyway, I don't want to run into him anywhere. That's why I took this job.
Maria: Him, him, him. Ever since you broke up, he's become this pronoun instead of a person.
Liz: Let's keep it that way.
(Liz hastily turns off the boombox as Whitaker comes out of the powder room)
(Max eavesdrops on Isabel as she calls Grant on her cell phone)
Isabel: Listening to my private conversations?
Max: Why you calling him? He just left.
Isabel: Uh, I was just leaving him a message to thank him for the flowers.
Max: You already thanked him.
Isabel: Yeah, and you guys made him feel really welcome.
Max: He wasn't invited.
Isabel: I invited him before I ever knew there was a party.
Max: Don't do it again.
Isabel: Excuse me? Are you forbidding me?
Max: You can't let anyone new in. It's too dangerous.
Isabel: Like it was too dangerous to let Liz Parker in.
Max: That's different.
Isabel: Yeah, it was. You want to know how? Because I can date someone and keep my mouth shut at the same time. You couldn't.
Max: That was the past. We've got to think about the future, the one our mother talked about.
Isabel: Right, right. The king. I'm sorry. How could I forget? All I know is...Max, you may be the king, but I am not bowing down to you, not in this lifetime.
(Isabel sees some visions, among them a "RED'S" sign)
Isabel: Uhh.
Max: What is it?
Isabel: Had this headache on and off all day.
Max: You're sweating.
Isabel: I'm fine. It's...
(Maria interrupts)
Maria: Ahem. Isabel, you better come out. There's a policeman here to see you.
Isabel: A policeman? What's going on?
Maria: He's asking for you.
Max: You better go.
(Isabel enters the main Crashdown area, followed by Max and Maria. Alex has dressed up in a policeman uniform and starts removing his clothes)
Alex: You love that!
(Mrs. Evans is appalled by this striptease. She walks up to Alex)
Alex: Hi, Ms. Evans. Great party.
(In one of the back rooms, Courtney walks in as Michael is trying to finish making Isabel's cake)
Courtney: So, did you, uh, make that all by yourself?
Michael: No. Betty Crocker came on by and whipped it up.
Courtney: Betty Crocker would've used eggs.
Michael: Eggs.
Courtney: Sorry.
Michael: My first cake.
Courtney: Well, guys don't make cakes for just anybody. In fact, guys don't make cakes at all.
(Courtney sticks her finger in the cake and tastes it)
Michael: Hey.
Courtney: What flavor is this anyway?
Michael: It's a combination of a few things.
Courtney: It tastes like Tabasco. Did you put Tabasco in a cake?
Michael: Well, what if I did?
Courtney: I like that.
Michael: Just move.
Courtney: So, what's a chick got to do to get a cake out of a guy like you?
Michael: Nothing you could handle.
(Courtney tastes the frosting)
Courtney: That's too bad. Mmm. You gonna frost it or what?
Michael: Yeah, I'm gonna frost it.
(Maria stops by to check up on the cake)
Maria: How's the cake coming?
Courtney: It's coming.
Michael (to Courtney): Maybe you should finish it.
(Michael leaves and Maria and Courtney start arguing over him)
Maria: Michael. Taken. Or haven't you noticed?
Courtney: I noticed he didn't make this cake for you.
Maria: It's not my birthday.
Courtney: Small detail.
(Alex comes in and starts lamenting about how his striptease dance turned out)
Alex: You know, I can't believe I let you talk me into that!
Maria: Me and Michael go way back.
Alex: That was the most humiliating experience of my life!
Courtney: You sew your name into the back of his jeans?
Maria: You'll never find out.
Alex: I did a striptease in front of her mother! Are you listening to me?
Maria: One nipple does not constitute a striptease, Alex.
Alex: She saw my nipple? Oh, God.
Courtney: Chill out, NYPD blue.
Alex: Chill out? Chill out? I spent $150 to rent this costume. And do you have any idea how it feels to walk around all day with a thong up your ass?
Maria & Courtney: Yes.
(Back in the main Crashdown area, Kyle is complaining to his buddies about Tess)
Kyle: Seriously. So, she's got her underwear and her bras and her girlie things all over the bathroom. Every time I go in to shave, I feel like I'm walking into Victoria's Secret.
Michael: So what's not to like?
Isabel: Kyle, where is Tess?
Kyle: She went to Jensen's to get your present. Anyway, she's taken over television, the computer, my phone. If some chick's gonna be yelling at me about keeping the toilet seat down, she better at least be doing me.
(Mrs. Evans walks by and reacts to Kyle's last words)
Kyle: Doing me...a favor.
Mrs. Evans: Hi. I'm, uh...I'm Isabel's mom.
(Max grabs Michael)
Max: I need to talk to you.
Michael: We have nothing to talk about.
Max: I need you to back me up on something.
Michael: You make decisions without asking my opinion, and now you expect me to back you up?
Max: I think Isabel's getting serious with that Sorenson guy.
(Michael apparently agrees with Max this time and talks to Isabel about it)
Michael: He gave you an order.
Isabel: I don't take orders from Max.
Michael: He's our leader. He's right.
Isabel: Since when? You two are barely speaking. And when you do talk, you don't even agree.
Michael: Well, we agree on this.
Isabel: I bet you do.
Michael: What's that supposed to mean?
Isabel: Am I supposed to be alone for the rest of my...of my life...
Michael: Isabel, you are not alone.
Isabel: Not even talk to other guys?
Michael: Works for me.
Isabel: I don't think so.
Michael: Isabel, you do not belong with him.
Isabel: No. I belong with you. But I don't think either one of us wants to think about that too much.
(Isabel sees more visions of Tess)
Isabel: Unh!
Michael: What's going on?
Isabel: Nothing. Nothing. It's just my headache.
(The cake is brought out. Everyone starts singing "Happy Birthday", but during the song, Isabel sees Tess repeatedly asking her for help)
Tess: Isabel! Help me, please help me! Isabel! Help me, Isabel! Please help me! Isabel!
(Isabel explains her vision to Max and Michael in the back room)
Isabel: It was like she was really here. She was hurt and crying for help.
Max: Who was the last person to see her?
Michael: Kyle said she went to Jensen's to buy a present.
Isabel: She's in danger.
Michael: Yeah. It's got to be Nasedo's k*ller. He's after Tess.
Courtney: Trust me, nobody's after Tess. All that blond hair and eye shadow? She's like Dolly Parton without the jugs.
Michael: Could you just go refill the ketchups or something?
Isabel: We've got to find her.
Max: I think we should start with Sorenson. He showed up here bleeding. Could've been struggling with someone.
Isabel: Grant has nothing to do with this, Max.
Max: I'll be the judge of that.
(Liz and Maria enter the back room)
Liz: We've got a problem.
Max: I know. Tess is missing.
Maria: Oh, boo-hoo. Sorry.
Liz: She's missing?
Michael: Isabel had a vision that she was in trouble.
Maria: That's weird.
Liz: Here's something else weird - Whitaker has been taping my phone conversations at work. I found a CD. But the thing is how come she hasn't busted me yet?
Michael: Maybe because she hasn't given up alien-hunting after all.
Liz: She's out there right now.
Isabel: At my party?
Liz: Yeah...um, she sort of invited herself.
Courtney: So, the real party's in here.
Maria: Could you, like, go refill the ketchups or something?
Courtney: Done.
Maria: Sugars, then.
Michael: Maybe Whitaker's got something to do with this Tess thing.
Max: Michael, you go to her office...see what you can find. I'm going to get Valenti. We'll check out Sorenson.
Isabel: What should I do?
Max: Make sure Whitaker stays here so Michael can search her office.
Isabel: I can't just stay here knowing everything that's happening.
Max: We'll handle it. Just...just try to enjoy your party.
Isabel: Like I can, Max. I'm the one who saw the visions. I'm going after her.
Max: Let me take care of it.
(Outside in the main Crashdown area, Whitaker is mingling)
Whitaker: So you must be the birthday girl.
Liz: Oh, Isabel, this is Congresswoman Whitaker.
Whitaker: Hmm.
Isabel: Hi. It's nice to meet you.
Mrs. Evans: Hello. I'm Diane Evans, Isabel's mother. Such an honor to have you here.
Whitaker: Not at all. Saves me from an evening of senate budget proposals and Jay Leno. Isabel...that is such a beautiful name.
Isabel: Thank you.
Mrs. Evans: Well, why don't we open the rest of the presents?
Mrs. Evans (to Whitaker): Won't you join us?
Whitaker: Yes. Ok. Thank you.
Mrs. Evans: Great. Ok. Come on, everybody. It's time to open the...all of this. Oh. You're popular. Ok. Which one first?
Isabel: Um, this.
(Isabel opens the box to find a small alien stick figure)
Isabel: Oh. Ho ho ho. Who's this from?
Mrs. Evans: Who's the comedian?
Isabel: Just what I always wanted, guys. Thank you.
Mrs. Evans: Here. This one's from your dad.
(Isabel gets another vision of Tess in trouble)
Isabel: Ahhh.
Mrs. Evans: What's wrong, honey?
Isabel: Noth...nothing. I...you know, I've...I've had this headache all day. I think there's aspirin in the back.
(Isabel goes to the back room, followed by Liz and Maria)
Liz: Did you have another vision?
Isabel: Give me your keys.
Maria: No way. Last time I lent out the Jetta, an U*i took out the back window.
Isabel: Then drive me.
Maria: Where?
Isabel: To look for Tess. I saw a sign - RED'S.
Liz: There's no "RED'S" in Roswell.
Isabel: I know Tess isn't your favorite person. We've all treated her pretty badly. I'm not proud of the way I've acted.
Liz: I can't help it, Isabel. I don't trust her.
Isabel: Then trust me.
Maria: Ok. I think I know where it is. Let's go.
Liz: No. Max said not to leave.
Isabel: Max isn't here.
Liz: Ok. Fine. I'll go with you.
Isabel: No. No. You have to cover for me.
(Max and Sheriff Valenti search through Tess' stuff, trying to find out where she was and who may have last seen her)
Sheriff: Address book. Evans. Evans. Guerin. Not a wide circle of friends.
Max: Tess never had anyone but Nasedo.
Sheriff: And you three.
Max: Isabel was the only one she was really ever close to.
Sheriff: What about you?
Max: It was...it was too complicated.
Sheriff: She wanted to jump your bones, huh?
Max: Something like that.
Sheriff: Screws things up every time.
Max: Happen to you?
Sheriff: Yeah. In my dreams.
Max: Is that her cell phone?
(Max presses the redial button)
Grant: Hello.
Max: Hi. I'm calling from the phone company. We're checking the lines.
Grant: What lines? This is a cell phone.
Max: Right. I mean, we're checking the service. This is 555-0188?
Grant: Yeah. You got it.
Max: And the number is billed to?
Grant: Grant Sorenson.
Max: Sorenson. Right. That's what I have. Thank you.
(Michael breaks into Whitaker's office and starts looking around. He finds a file for Courtney and takes a picture from the file. Michael sees Whitaker unlocking the office door and makes a hasty retreat just before she enters)
(Maria drives Isabel to a rundown restaurant called Fred's. The "F" on the neon sign isn't lit up)
Maria: There's your "RED'S".
Isabel: That's it.
(Isabel sees Tess' car, which has been damaged. It's been abandoned)
Isabel: sh**t. Where is she?
Maria: Maybe she was thrown out of the car.
Isabel: I don't think so.
Maria: Um, maybe the paramedics already came.
Isabel: No.
(Isabel finds a piece of skin on Tess' car. It disintegrates in her hand)
Isabel: No. She was taken.
Maria: Ahh, I can't get a signal this far out.
Isabel: I see some tracks. 2 sets of tires, see? But look here. They swerve near Tess' car...then go out in that direction.
Maria: Straight into nowhere.
Isabel: Nowhere's where we're going.
Maria: Note to self - get 4-wheel drive.
(Maria and Isabel arrive at Chavez County Electric Power Facility - Plant #2)
Isabel: She's in there.
Maria: Oh, no. No. No. Now, you don't know that.
Isabel: I feel it.
Maria: We need to get Max and Michael.
Isabel: Then go get them.
Maria: No. No. No. You're not going in there by yourself.
Isabel: I have to.
Maria: No. I'm not gonna leave you.
Isabel: Look. Go get Max and Michael, all right? Just go. But I can't wait. I have to go in.
Maria: All right. Here. Take the flashlight.
Isabel: Ok.
(Isabel rips her dress as she climbs through the fence. She takes off her shoes)
(Max and Sheriff Valenti break into Grant Sorenson's motel room and start searching for anything that might give them a hint as to Tess' whereabouts)
Sheriff: Stop right there!
Grant: Whoa! Whoa. Sheriff, what are you doing in my room?
Sheriff: When's the last time you saw Tess Harding?
Grant: Who?
Sheriff: Tess Harding. And don't lie to me.
Grant: I barely know the girl.
Max: Then why'd you call her cell phone today?
Grant: She's a friend of Isabel's. I wanted to ask her advice on a birthday present.
Max: And what did she tell you?
Grant: She said she was going to Jensen's to pick something up.
Max: That's what Kyle said.
Grant: I knew I'd be on the dig all day and was pressed for time, when she suggested flowers. She said purple roses were Isabel's favorite.
Sheriff: Sorry. Procedure.
Grant: Procedure? You break into my room and stick a g*n in my face?
Sheriff: Tess Harding is missing.
Grant: Well, then maybe you should be out looking for her instead of harassing innocent people.
Sheriff: Look, Mr. Sorenson...
Grant: No. You look, Sheriff. There's obviously no evidence. I don't appreciate you and deputy dog here accusing me.
Sheriff: Nobody's accusing you of anything.
Grant: You got a search warrant?
Sheriff: I can get one.
Grant: Then get it, but until then, get out.
Sheriff: If you hear from her, you call me.
Grant: Right.
(Courtney goes outside to smoke a cigarette. Michael confronts her)
Courtney: Worried about my health?
Michael: Who are you?
Courtney: What?
Michael: You know what I'm talking about.
Courtney: Are you, like, high or something?
(Michael shows her the picture he found in Whitaker's office)
Courtney: Where'd you get that?
Michael: From your file in Whitaker's office.
Courtney: Get out of my face.
Michael: You're gonna tell me exactly what's going on.
Courtney: No, I don't have to tell you anything.
Michael: So, you working with her? You spying on us? Is that what you're doing?
Courtney: You're a big man, aren't you?
Michael: Don't jerk me around. If you're not working with Whitaker, then why does she have photos of you...documents, huh? Why is she watching you? Why is a U.S. Congresswoman interested in a waitress from Roswell?
Courtney: Because I was sleeping with her stepson, that's why!
Michael: Stepson.
Courtney: That's right. He screwed his life up with drugs, and I screwed my life up with him. When we got busted, do you know who went down for that? I spent 2 years in Buckman, and the only reason why I got out of there is because I promised that bitch that I would never see him again. So I guess that she's just making sure I keep that promise.
Michael: All right. Thanks.
Courtney: Thanks?
(Courtney slaps Michael)
Courtney: Jerk!
(Maria pulls up in the Jetta just as Michael has his hands on Courtney's shoulders)
Maria: Michael, we got to go. Isabel's in trouble.
(Isabel searches through the power plant, frequently hearing sobbing noises. She eventually finds Tess, battered and bruised on the floor)
Isabel: Oh, Tess. Oh, God. Tess. Oh, God. Wake up. Oh, wake up.
(Maria and Michael are on the way to the power plant)
Michael: I can't believe you let her go after Tess alone.
Maria: She didn't give me a choice.
Michael: Well, where's the phone? I'm gonna call Valenti. Get him and Max to meet us there.
(Back at the Crashdown, Liz is trying to get in touch with Maria)
Liz: Come on. Someone answer the phone...anyone.
Mrs. Evans: Liz, have you seen Isabel?
Liz: Isabel?
(Back at the power plant)
Isabel: Come on, Tess. I'll get you up. Come on, I'll get you up.
(Back at the Crashdown)
Liz: She, uh, spilled punch...you know, on her dress.
Mrs. Evans: Oh, my.
Liz: But she had to leave because she had to go take care of it. It was...it was upsetting her.
Mrs. Evans: Sometimes, honey, if one hair is out of place, she won't leave the house.
(Back to Isabel and Tess. Isabel moves Tess to an empty room, and bolts the door)
Isabel: There. Tess. Tess, stay with me. Stay with me, Tess. Damn it. Don't die on me now.
(The bolts on the door slide over by themselves. Someone is opening them from the other side with an alien power. The door swings open and we see Congresswoman Whitaker)
Isabel: It's you.
Whitaker: Impressive.
Isabel: What?
Whitaker: You. Coming here like this. I see my mistake. It wasn't her I was looking for.
Isabel: Then why did you take her?
Whitaker: Thought she was you. But neither of you looks like you did in the other life. I knew I needed one of the female hybrids. It was a 50/50 chance.
Isabel: Oh, God. What is it you want from us?
Whitaker: Where's the granilith?
Isabel: The what?
Whitaker: The granilith. Don't pretend you don't know. We've been looking for it. We can't exist here like you...not in our natural state. We don't have the DNA. All we have are these...uh, skins. Our limit is 50 years. My time is almost up. I need to find the granilith if it's the last thing I do.
Isabel: I don't know what you're talking about.
Whitaker: You're hiding it. The four of you. The royalty they tried to save by sending you here. You're gonna help us.
Isabel: Never.
Whitaker: You did before. You will again.
Isabel: You k*lled Nasedo, didn't you?
Whitaker: To save you.
Isabel: From what?
Whitaker: The other 3. You belong with us, our race. We're in charge now. Your kind doesn't rule anymore.
Isabel: I'm not one of you.
Whitaker: You don't remember, do you? Let me give you a piece of history about your planet. Your name was Vilandra, and you were beautiful...even more beautiful than you are now. You had a great love...and for him...for us...you betrayed your brother, your race.
Isabel: No.
Whitaker: You sacrificed him. You sacrificed everyone...even yourself. And history, my dear, always repeats itself.
Isabel: God, you liar. We're leaving. Tess, come on. Come on.
Whitaker: Not until you tell me where you're hiding the granilith.
Isabel: I told you before, I don't know what you're talking about.
Whitaker: Well, maybe this will help jog your memory.
(Whitaker raises her hand and an invision force knocks Tess into the air. She lands with a thud)
Tess: Uhh! Unh!
Isabel: Stop it! Stop hurting her!
Whitaker: I'll stop when you tell me what I want to know.
(Isabel helps Tess to her and feet and then jumps with her through the window to the platform below. They start making their way to the exit and Whitaker gives chase)
Isabel: Come on.
(Isabel and Tess make it to the outside. Whitaker also makes it to the outside. She tears off an electrical cable. Max sees them from the gate to the power facility)
Max: Isabel!
Whitaker: Where's the granilith?
Isabel: Get away from us!
Whitaker: I'll destroy you. I'll destroy you all if I have to.
(Whitaker uses her power to start sending a stream of electrical sparks through the cable towards Isabel and Tess)
Isabel: No. No! Get away from us!
(Isabel holds out her hand and an invisible force reflects the electricity back at Whitaker. She blows up in a hail of shedded skin)
(Max, Sheriff Valenti, Michael, and Maria rush in to help. Sheriff Valenti carries Tess to his car)
Max: What happened?
Isabel: It was Whitaker. She k*lled Nasedo.
Max: It's ok.
Isabel: No, it's not. It's not ok.
Max: I guess you were right about Grant. I'm gonna have to trust your instincts.
Isabel: I didn't know I was capable of this.
Max: You're getting stronger.
Isabel: We all are. Nasedo said we would.
Max: We have to protect each other. What you did for Tess, I know you would do for me, and I would do for you. No one can come between us.
Isabel: Max, she said things.
Max: What kind of things?
Isabel: Something about a granilith.
Michael: I know how I...after I used my powers on Pierce...so, uh, if you want to talk or something...
Isabel: I think I just need to be alone.
(Isabel goes to the pod chamber by herself)
Isabel: Happy birthday, Isabel. I'm 18 today, mother. October 25th. At least that's the day we've always celebrated as my birthday. But you're the only one really who knows the real day. I guess that's why I came to the place, the only place I've ever seen you. I hold...I hold on to that day, but you disappeared, and the picture of you was already fading, and it's all I had. I was so happy because you were beautiful and warm, and I even thought I looked like you. But it wasn't you...not really. God, I don't know what you look like. Maybe I'll never know. It isn't fair. It isn't fair. I need you. I need you. Where are you? Oh, God, it's my birthday. We should be together. How could you leave us? How could you tell us all this important information about destinies and saving the world and then just disappear? Oh, God. I...I k*lled a person...uh, an...an enemy, an...an alien? Does that make it ok? Oh, God. What was she talking about? What was she talking about? She said I betrayed my family. Is it true? Is it true? Am I a terrible person? Answer me. Answer me. Come on, answer me!
(Isabel grabs a nearby rock and throws it at the pods in frustration. There is a glow from one of the pod chambers. Isabel crawls into one of the pods. At the back of that chamber, a previously hidden door slides open, revealing a humming alien device. The scene fades out with Isabel gazing upon the granilith)
Isabel: The granilith. | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x03 - Surprise"} | foreverdreaming |
"Summer of '47"
Episode: 4
26th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA04
Written by: Gretchen Berg, Aaron Harberts
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 23, 2000
(The episode begins with the four aliens in the granolith chamber)
Tess: Sounds like the fluorescent lights in bio lab.
Michael: Did Nasedo ever mention a rock collection?
Tess: Do you think it can hear us?
Max: We'll come back after school.
(At school, Michael and Max are walking through the halls)
Max: After ninth period, we'll go back.
Michael: Way to prioritize, Maxwell.
(Maria walks up to Michael)
Maria: Hey. New gel? So, um, Portishead tickets went on sale this morning. Did you get my messages?
Michael: Yeah.
(Michael keeps walking)
Max: Nice.
Michael: Hey, our agenda involves the four of us. There is no time for distractions.
(Liz walks up to Max)
Liz: Oh, Max...look, I don't know what to do. Calls keep on coming into Congresswoman Whitaker's office. Should I return them or...
Michael: Not now.
Liz (to Max): We'll talk in trig.
Max (to Michael): You know, mean people suck.
(Michael's history teacher walks up to him)
History Teacher: Mr. Guerin, true or false? We're not even a month into the semester, and you're already failing my class. This is a new record.
Michael: To be perfectly blunt with you, sir, World w*r II just doesn't do it for me.
History Teacher: Well, try doing this. The 509th b*mb group is in town this week for a reunion. Your biographical account of one veteran's wartime experience will be on my desk by 5 o'clock.
Michael: Old people creep me out.
History Teacher: Ha. Then think of them as living history.
(Michael is sitting at a table, interviewing Hal Carver, one of the members of the 509th b*mb group)
Michael: What was World w*r II like?
Hal: What do you think?
Michael: Ok, moving on. Uh, Roswell...how is it different now than it was back then?
Hal: I don't know. I haven't darkened her doors since '47.
Michael: Look, Hal...
Hal: Captain Carver.
Michael: Captain Carver. Let's make this easy. Why don't you give me a few good details that I can put in this little notebook of mine. Then I'll just copy the rest out of a book.
Hal: Well, when the going gets rough, resort to plagiarism, huh? You kids today are softer than soap. You ever heard of, uh, Omaha Beach or the V-1 flying b*mb, Yalta, Jane Russell? I mean, have you ever...
Michael: Taken my teeth out to brush them?
Hal: What'd you just say?
(There is a flyer on the table. Michael takes a look at it)
Michael: B-17G.
Hal: That's a flying fortress. You like planes?
Michael: You could say I was born to fly.
Hal: So was I. That's my picture there.
Michael: So, why did you leave in '47?
Hal: Don't you know what happened that year?
Michael: Aliens crashed. Humans went bonkers.
Hal: Yeah. Think you could've handled that? I mean, you had survivors running loose in the streets.
Michael: Sounds terrifying. 4 feet tall, silver suits, no hair. Very scary.
Hal: That's what the crackpots that wrote the books wanted you to believe.
Michael: Look, it's all just a bunch of crazy...
Hal: We weren't crazy. We were lied to.
Michael: Whatever.
Hal: Hey, look, kid. I'm not one of your hoodlum friends. You better start showing me a little respect, or I'll kick your ass through this door.
Michael: Well, let me save you the effort. I'm just gonna take this. Then I'll be out of your hair, ok?
Hal: They have black eyes. Empty. Vacant. Ageless. You gonna stand there like some slack-jawed simpleton, or do you want to learn something?
Michael: You're gonna teach me about aliens?
(Hal nods)
Michael: Ok, let's hear it.
Hal (V.O.): You know, these sissies today that complain about global warming should have to spend a New Mexico summer on a military base without any air conditioning. In those days, you could write an invoice without depending on Bill Gates. Women had curves. Something you could hold on to. Me, I was a 21-year-old know-it-all. Well, a little joy-ride that May still had me grounded in a dead-end desk job. What can I say? I was nuts about the girl, and she wanted to see Hoover Dam from 3,000 feet.
(Scene is now a military office back in 1947. Michael is playing the role of Hal Carver. The phone rings)
Man: Carver, get the phone.
Hal (V.O.): So, after 3 years of army cots and cheap cigarettes, I was gonna do things my way.
Man: Carver, wake up. This isn't kindergarten.
Hal: And my way was trouble.
Man: Hal!
Hal: 509th, Carver.
Jesse: Is this line secure?
Hal: Far as I know.
Jesse: There's been a crash.
Hal: What? Who?
Jesse: Don't know, but it's definitely not one of ours.
(Opening credits)
(At Hal's motel room, Hal continues to tell his story while Michael is doodling in his notepad)
Hal: Excitement in these parts was about as common as pink elephants, but when Jesse Marcel placed that call, the whole place was buzzing in a heartbeat.
Michael: Interesting.
(Michael motions to Hal's g*n)
Michael: Do you always travel with that thing?
Hal: Better be safe than sorry. You know, some people thought maybe it was a glider or a test m*ssile, but my money was always on the Commies, you know? Hey, you listening to me?! What's with that hair of yours, anyway?
Michael: The chicks dig it, grandpa.
Hal: In my day we wore it high and tight. You know, classic, respectful.
Michael: Really? I thought you said you were all about trouble?
(Back to 1947. Max is playing the role of Richard Dodie, Hal's friend. Hal and Richie arrive at a military base)
Hal (V.O.): They sent me and Richard Dodie out to the crash site some 30-odd miles from base. Dodie and I stopped along the way for a couple of zagnuts. By the time we got there, the place was buzzing. Richard was a good guy. He really was. He was a buddy of mine that worked in the office with me, but he has a tendency to get his skivvies all up in a bunch.
Richie: Next time you need a candy bar, maybe you could wait until after the mission.
Hal: I'm telling you, Richie, that gal behind the counter was hot to trot. She gave me 2 zagnuts for the price of one. And she's got a sister coming in from...
Richie: Not interested.
Hal: We're talking corn-fed ladies, Richie.
(Hal and Richie see the crash site)
Hal: Holy...
Richie: Jiminy Christmas. Looks too small to be a B-29.
Hal: That's no plane I've ever seen.
(Colonel Cassidy sees Hal and Richie and yells at them. Sheriff Valenti plays the role of Colonel Cassidy. Kyle plays the role of Deputy Valenti)
Cassidy: Hey! Willie and Joe!
Hal (V.O.): Colonel James Cassidy was the kind of guy that hated guys like me, and that suited me just fine, because I loved taking on blockheads like him.
Cassidy: A little late to be making yourselves useful, don't you think?
Hal: Dodie here was hungry, sir.
Richie: Sir, I, uh...
Cassidy: Stick a cork in it, Dodie.
Hal: What are they collecting, sir?
Cassidy: When that's your business, I'll let you know.
Soldier: Hey, Colonel! Over here!
Cassidy: All right, check in with Smith, then get down there and help out. I'll give you "hungry".
Richie: Real funny.
Hal: Sure is, Rich. Risk your can over Frankfurt and Deuren, emergency land a B-17 in England without putting a scratch on her, and now they treat us like maids.
Richie: Orders are orders. Think it could be experimental aircraft?
Soldier: Hey, be careful with that!
(One of the soldiers is loading stuff into a truck. A thin shiny object falls to the ground. Hal picks it up and crumples it in his hands. The object reverts back to its original shape)
Hal: Get a look at this. Bet you people would pay good money to see this.
Richie: Keep messing around, Hal, and neither one of us is gonna see the inside of a cockpit again.
(Betty Osorio, a reporter, is trying to get information about the crash. Maria plays the role of Betty)
Betty: I'm not taking no for an answer. This is the U.S. Army. Someone is always in charge.
Hal (V.O.): I live by one simple rule when it comes to women - a great voice equals great gams.
Deputy Valenti: Miss Osorio, please, I told you...
Betty: These are press credentials from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, guys. What am I saying? Fort Worth may as well be Burma to you people. Who's in charge here? Colonel, rumor at the local radio station says you folks got yourselves a flying saucer. Any comment?
Cassidy: This is a restricted area. Get her out of here, Deputy Valenti.
Betty: Uh-uh. I have permission to be here. I want some answers. George, snap some sh*ts. Snap some sh*ts!
Cassidy: Get the camera.
Betty: Hey. Hey! You put one scratch on that lens and I'm billing Uncle Sam.
Cassidy: Now, Deputy!
Betty: Welcome back from the w*r, Colonel. In case you forgot, we still have the First Amendment here. Get your hands off me. I said, get your hands off me.
(Betty is escorted away. Captain Sheridan Cavitt approaches Hal. Alex plays the role of Cavitt)
Hal (V.O.): Our senior counter-intelligence agent, Captain Sheridan Cavitt, was known around the base as Mr. Brain. So I guess when you're lacking in other assets, you've got to trump up the one you've got.
Cavitt: Captain. You see that troop truck? Take it directly to hangar 20. No stops. No questions. I don't care if a family of 4 is bleeding on the roadside.
Hal: But Roswell needs all the tourists it can get, Captain.
Cavitt: Get another man and head out!
(Back to present day Roswell)
Michael: I know the rest. The feds made Marcel the scapegoat. Blamed the crash on a weather balloon. And it was all Cavitt's idea if I remember correctly.
Hal: That pencil neck. Where did you hear that?
Michael: I've been reading UFO magazines since I was 8.
Hal: So you want to believe.
Michael: You shouldn't smoke.
Hal: Look, kid, my doctor says it doesn't make any difference what I do.
Michael: Is that why you came back here?
Hal: w*r has a tendency to create an incredible bond between men. You know what? Some of the best days of my life were spent right here on this base alongside the boys of the 509th. So I guess this...is just my last chance to say good-bye.
(Michael sees a man having trouble fitting into his old uniform)
Michael: Do you still fit into yours?
Hal: The longer I sit here, the harder it is to think that I could put one on.
Michael: Why is that?
Hal: 'Cause everything I believe that uniform stood for died in '47.
(Hal tosses Michael the strange object he found in 1947. It was crumpled when Michael caught it, but immediately straightens out in his hand)
Hal: Hey. A little something from way back when.
(Back to 1947. Hal and Richie are driving the truck with the crash debris to Hangar 20)
Richie: You think that reporter's onto something?
Hal: She needs an exclusive, plain and simple. Why? Do you think she's onto something?
Richie: I didn't until an intelligence officer ordered us to keep our mouths shut.
Hal: Forget Cavitt. After Sunday dinner, he probably debriefs his own mother. I love this country.
Richie: What if something's really out there...capable of destroying us? Destroying everything?
Hal: Don't worry, Richie. You're still gonna get your wife and your white picket fence and your backyard barbecue...
(The truck starts to slow down)
Richie: Why are you slowing down?
Hal: What the...
Hal (V.O.): At that moment some strange force seemed to take control of the truck.
(Hal looks ahead and sees a glowing white person in front of the truck. Hal appears to run it over with the truck)
Richie: Oh, my God.
Hal: Check under the truck!
(Richie takes a look in the back of the truck and sees a glowing, red, pulsating pod)
Richie: Hal!
(Hal rushes back to the truck. Both Hal and Richie are stunned at what they see)
(Scene changes to a bar. It's a hangout area for the military personnel)
Man at Bar: My cousin in the f*re department said he saw a crashed disc.
Woman at Bar: Reverend Deaton's calling it the end of the world.
Bartender: I say it's just the beginning. Once these fly-boys leave, we got nothing to keep this town alive.
Man at Bar: But think of the possibilities. Roswell, New Mexico - home of the little green men.
(Hal and Richie are sitting at a table)
Hal: They were glowing, right?
Richie: I wasn't...wasn't seeing things?
Hal: We should have asked what they were.
Richie: Before or after Cassidy bawled us out for being 15 minutes late? Maybe they're waiting to see if they're friendly.
Hal: Hell with that. We should be in the air right now, blasting whatever dropped those things to kingdom come.
Richie: This isn't a John Wayne picture. When it's time to act, they'll tell us. Your round. I'm going to h*t the hay.
(Richie gets up and leaves. Hal walks over to the counter to pay for the drinks)
Hal: 2, Pete.
Betty: You're one of the guys at the debris field.
Hal: You're that little lady who got hauled off by the cops. No cuff marks on your pretty wrists, I see.
Betty: Oh, I prefer the term "police escort". Betty Osorio. Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
Hal: Hal Carver. No comment.
Betty: How about a drink then?
Hal: How about your phone number?
Betty: Hmmm...something tells me you don't call.
Hal: Something tells me this time I will.
Betty: At the field you were given a special assignment. What was in the truck?
Hal: Sweetheart, you just had to go and ruin our fun.
Betty: Wait, what were you saying about bl*wing something to kingdom come?
Hal: Well, I can't tell you about that, because if I did...then they'd have to k*ll you.
(Hal goes back to the table and sit down. Cavitt, who saw Hal talking to Betty, immediately sits down at the table)
Cavitt: What the hell are you doing talking to that reporter?
Hal: She was looking for a free drink, Cavitt. When she realized I wasn't buying, she moved on.
Cavitt: The press can't be trusted. They ruined Major Marcel's good name in less than a day.
Hal: Well, in case you didn't hear, Marcel told the world he found a flying saucer.
Cavitt: Correction - a weather balloon. Keep away from her.
Hal: Go find a dame to bother, Cavitt.
(Scene shifts to Rosemary's bedroom. Isabel plays the role of Rosemary, Hal's girlfriend)
Hal (V.O.): Around this time I had this girl I used to go with, only she wasn't a girl. She was a woman. Rosemary had been widowed once and divorced twice...all before her 25th birthday, and our relationship was simple pleasure.
Hal: The cabaret girls in Nice do that.
Rosemary: I guess it's not the only thing we do in common. You left your socks here.
Hal: They're not mine.
Rosemary: Well.
Hal: So you want to hear about my day?
Rosemary: Absolutely not.
(Rosemary walks over to Hal and sits on his lap)
Hal: That's my girl.
(They start making out)
(Hal sees someone outside watching them)
Hal: Hey! Get on outta here!
(Back to present-day Roswell. Hal and Michael are at the Crashdown eating lunch)
Maria: Would you like some fries with that shake?
Hal: Give me another one, sweet cheeks.
Maria: That'll be your third banana split, sir.
Michael: What are you, the dairy police? We're in the middle of a story here.
Maria: Oh, yeah, I'm not the one sitting next to an ancient gastrointestinal tract, pally.
Hal: Get the check. I'll tell you the rest later.
Michael: You're gonna be at the reunion later.
Hal: To tell you the truth, kid, I don't know if I want to go anymore.
Michael: The day's young. We'll go h*t some of your old haunts.
Hal: Well, you got wheels?
(Michael goes into the back and asks Maria for a favor)
Michael: I need a favor.
Maria: First off, phone protocol works like this. Ready? Messenger leaves message. Then messengee calls back unless messengee is deathly ill, grounded, or just a jerk.
Michael: Look, I came in here because...
Maria: I would like to think that I've been patient, the epitome of restraint...but for God's sake, Michael, she's not even a real blonde.
Michael: Who?
Maria: Let me set the scene for you, all right? You. Courtney. The dark alley back there. Me controlling the urge to spew.
Michael: Look, this whole jealousy thing is getting a little tired. Just accept the fact that I'm an alien. You're human. Our lives do not mix.
Maria: Well, you made the exception for bottle job and old man river out there.
Michael: Ok, that man out there knows stuff about the '47 crash. All right? Stuff specific to me. Ok. So I want to take him around. I want to jog his memory, and to do that, I need the Jetta.
Maria: I'm sorry. When humans need rides, they take Jettas. And when aliens need rides, they take spaceships. Oh! Find one.
Michael: Hey, Maria...hanging out with this guy is gonna help him a lot more than it's gonna help me. Can't you just make an old guy's day?
Maria: You know what? I am only doing this because I forever regretted not saying good-bye to Breepa De Luca before he died.
Michael: Put lunch on my tab, and don't forget the senior discount.
Maria: Jerk!
(Back to 1947. Hal meets Betty at a restaurant)
Betty: Morning, Captain.
Hal: You sure you want to meet here, Miss Osorio? Because the hotel coffee shop across the street serves a swell cherry danish.
Betty: We're right over here.
(Betty leads Hal to one of the booths. Yvonne White, played by Liz, is waiting for them)
Betty: Hal Carver, this is Yvonne White. She's a nurse at the base.
Yvonne: Thanks for meeting me.
Hal: What is this?
Betty: Yvonne came to me because she saw things, things she can't explain. So I thought between the two of you...
Hal (to Yvonne): I'm sorry, ma'am. It was very nice to meet you, but I can't stay.
Hal (to Betty): Don't call me again.
Betty: Just hear her out.
Hal: I came here because I thought this was a date.
Betty: Carver, I'm flattered, but would you just see if your stories match?
Hal: Why don't you write this in that notepad of yours? It was a weather balloon.
Betty: You don't believe that. And if extraterrestrials landed in Roswell, Americans have the right to know.
Hal: You're not patriotic. You are just hard up for a front-page headline.
Betty: That is no way to speak to a lady.
Hal: Well, you point one out and I'll watch my language.
(Hal goes back to Rosemary's place and finds Deputy Valenti there)
Hal: Babe, you wouldn't believe...Jim.
Jim: Hal.
Hal: Were the socks his?
Rosemary: The military police were here. Deputy Valenti was helping me clean up. I tried calling you at the base, but the switchboard was busy.
(Hal arrives at the office very upset. He storms into Colonel Cassidy's office. Dixie, Cassidy's secretary greets him. Tess plays the role of Dixie)
Dixie: Hi, Hal. Hal!
Hal: Why were MPs at my girlfriend's house?
Dixie: Sorry, sir. I couldn't stop him.
Cassidy: It's ok, Dixie. Shut the door.
Dixie: Yes, sir.
Hal: She is a civilian, Colonel.
Cassidy: Captain, you might want to think about dropping that tone. Where have you been all morning? Parker's doesn't serve until 11am.
Hal: So now you're following me?
Cassidy: You were told to stay away from that reporter.
Hal: That's a violation of my rights!
Cassidy: Do you realize how many first lieutenants are just waiting to slide into the cockpits of B-29s? You want to get back in the air? Then you will shut up, stay on base, and finish out your suspension in a compliant manner! Are we clear?!
Hal: Yes, sir.
Cassidy: Are we clear?!
Hal: Yes, sir!
Cassidy: Telegrams and letters have to be sent to the families of 2 privates - Fifer and McCarthy. They were k*lled this morning in a jeep accident. Here are the details. You handle it. Dismissed.
(Hal goes to his desk and throws his lamp into the wall. He goes to a phone booth and calls Yvonne White)
Hal: Operator. Yvonne white. Women's barracks.
Yvonne: Hello?
Hal: Yvonne, it's Hal Carver from earlier today. Maybe we should talk without that damn reporter around.
Yvonne: I can't. I've been transferred to London. I'm catching a bus to the airport tonight.
Hal: Wait there.
(Yvonne and Hal meet inside his car. It's raining heavily outside)
Yvonne: Two cadavers just like this.
Hal: Who was running the show?
Yvonne: Doctors I'd never seen before. They pulled me in to help with the autopsy. There's no way these things were even mammal. The epidermis, hands, organs - they were nothing I'd ever seen.
Hal: No one would tell you what you saw?
Yvonne: Afterwards some high-ranking general from Wright Field debriefed me. He said I couldn't talk about it.
Hal: Why did you call betty?
Yvonne: She wanted to listen. I can't sleep, Captain. I want to get as far away from Roswell as possible...to try and forget I was ever here.
Hal: Good luck, then.
(Yvonne leaves and heads for the nearby bus. Suddenly, there is a loud scream. Hal rushes out)
Hal: Where's the girl? The nurse that was here?
Driver: There's no nurse here, pal.
(Hal goes back to the office)
Dixie: Well, look what the cat dragged in.
Hal: Listen, Dixie, how could I locate a troop transport plane going to London?
Dixie: Look, whatever you're after, I think you should drop it. People are saying you got a screw loose, Hal, and I know the Colonel agrees.
Hal: I'm just trying to make sure someone is ok.
Dixie: Perhaps you should just take care of yourself.
Hal: Thanks for the heads up, sweetheart. Maybe if you're free sometime, we could go see Hoover Dam again.
Dixie: Oh, I'm late for my hair appointment. These curls, they don't happen by magic, you know.
(Hal takes a look at the "Confidential" folder on the desk. He goes to Hangar 20, where the crash debris was sent)
Hal: At ease.
Guard: Yes, sir.
Hal: I'm part of the recovery team that brought the truck to this location. Colonel Cassidy has requested a follow-up report.
Guard: Thank you, Captain. Carry on.
(Richie walks out of the hangar and stops Hal)
Richie: What's going on, Hal?
Hal: Just a little inventory for Cassidy.
Richie: I'm sorry. This area's off-limits without proper security clearance.
Hal: Which you seem to have.
Richie: The assignment landed in my lap, ok?
Hal: Then let me take a look.
Richie: There's nothing to see.
Hal: Richie, every person on this base, every radio station and newspaper says this whole thing is because of a downed weather balloon. You and I both know better. Now, I've seen the classified reports. And they prove...
Richie: You have to leave.
Hal: What are you more afraid of? What you know or what they're keeping from you?
Richie: I can't go down that road with you, Hal. I'm sorry. Just let me do my job.
Richie (to guard): Captain Carver's done here.
Hal (V.O.): Obviously someone had gotten to Dodie, so I decided to talk to that reporter after all.
(Hal meets Betty on the side of a road)
Betty: Sorry I was late. That damned thing has a mind of its own.
Hal: I could take a look.
Betty: Already fixed it. Cars are like men, Carver. Give their cable a little jiggle and they'll be fine 'til morning.
Hal: I didn't know you were so handy, Osorio.
Betty: What have you got for me?
Hal: You go first.
Betty: Glenn Dennis at Ballard's funeral home contacted me with an interesting tip. Seems a base mortician called and requested child-size coffins.
Hal: For what?
Betty: To bury things. Your turn.
Hal: Colonel Cassidy asked me to draft death notice memos for 2 privates who he claimed died in a jeep accident.
Betty: What really happened?
Hal: Those kids were at the debris site when they stumbled on 2 sacs 6 feet or so in diameter. Before they could notify a commanding officer, something came upon them. Now, one witness says it was 2 figures glowing white. The men tried to pull their g*n. There was a blinding light.
Betty: Aliens k*lled them?
Hal: My brother was sh*t down over Manila Bay. I watched my mother open that telegram. Those privates deserved more. Their families deserve the truth.
(Hal gives betty the "Confidential" folder)
Hal: It's all in here.
Betty: Are you willing to go on the record? I need to know. After this story runs, you'll either be a hero or a traitor.
(Back to present day. Michael and Hal are off to the side of a road. Michael goes back to the Jetta and changes one of the beverages in the back seat into a bottle of beer)
Hal: You can run fast, but time always has a way of catching up.
Michael: My friend had one in her car. She's a little bit of a drinker.
Hal: That firecracker from the diner?
Michael: Yeah.
Hal: Are you two going steady?
Michael: No. It's nothing. I mean, well, I mean...whatever there was, it's over.
Hal: Not from where I was sitting. You know, I'd...um, I'd never been in love before, but...but on that night beneath the stars and with that woman...and with all that we knew...I should have kissed her then.
Michael: Why? What happened to Betty?
Hal: Got another beer?
(Back to 1947. Richie is at the bar drinking his problems away. Hal walks up to him)
Hal: Tough day following orders?
Richie: I'm a coward, Hal. Don't rub it in.
Hal: You're drunk.
Richie: And don't expect any more than that from me.
Hal: What's wrong, Richie?
Richie: You were right. I saw stuff. I heard...what their plans were. I...I was a good soldier. I went along with it. I'm not...I'm not proud of myself. Makes you wonder if I'm on the right side. Are we on the right side, Hal?
Hal: It's gonna be ok. I've got friends. We've got people who want to know the truth just as much as we do. And by tomorrow the world will be one step closer to it.
Richie: By tomorrow?
Hal: Check the morning paper. It'll all be there. Now you want a ride home?
(Richie shakes his head)
Hal: All right, then.
(Hal leaves. One of the people in the back walks up to Richie. It's Cavitt, in civilian clothes)
Cavitt: Well done, Captain.
Richie: Don't touch me.
(In the morning, Hal is looking through the newspaper. There is no mention of aliens at all)
Hal (V.O.): That morning was like any other. Too much like any other. The story was never printed.
(Hal calls Betty)
Receptionist: Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
Hal: Yes. I need to speak to Betty Osorio.
Receptionist: One moment. I'm sorry. Miss Osorio isn't in. Would you care to leave a message?
Hal: No. No, thank you.
(Hal goes back to the office. He finds a letter of resignation left on his desk and goes directly to Cassidy's office. Richie is in Cassidy's office waiting for him)
Hal: Where's Cassidy?
Richie: I'm holding down the fort.
Hal: Did you know about this? Huh, did you?!
Richie: It was a classified information...
Hal: You sold me out!
Richie: I had orders! I didn't have a choice.
Hal: Well, thanks for being such a pal, Dick.
Richie: Sign the letter, Hal, and make this easy. Pack your things. Take the honorable discharge.
Hal: You will have to drag me off this base.
Richie: You always were a punk, Carver. Why couldn't you be a lazy, self-centered, son of a bitch this time?
(Hal punches Richie in the face)
Richie: A lot of people are very, very, upset. They wanted to get rid of you, but I convinced them to treat you like one of us. Sign the resignation, Hal, or they're gonna change their minds and take it one step further.
(Richie motions towards some photos in a folder on the desk. They are pictures of Hal with Rosemary. Hal grudgingly signs the resignation letter)
Hal: I hope you enjoy your white picket fences, Richie...'cause you sure as hell earned it.
(Hal goes to the bar)
Hal: The usual, Pete.
Pete: Hey, Carver. Something came for you today.
Hal: Huh?
Pete: You gonna start using my place as an address, I'm gonna start charging you rent for that stool.
(Pete hands Hal an envelope. Inside is a message from Betty. There's a phone number and a key. Hal hurries to the phone to dial the number)
Betty's Sister: Hello?
Hal: Betty.
Betty's Sister: Uh...this is her sister.
Hal: Oh, may I speak with Betty?
Betty's Sister: Betty's d*ad. It was a car accident yesterday off Highway 70. Uh, who is this?
Hal: Nothing...I'm sorry.
(Hal goes to the location on Betty's message and unlocks the door with the key that Betty left him. Inside the room are 8 alien pods, split into two groups of four pods. There are two doctors d*ad on the floor. There are silver handprints on their chests. Hal starts snapping some pictures. He looks up in the mirror and sees two white glowing things behind the curtain)
Hal (V.O.): Have you ever heard the sound a mother bear makes when anything gets between her and her cubs? It's something to be afraid of. Now at that moment, though, I realized I'd been afraid of the wrong thing. It wasn't us they wanted.
Hal: Save them.
(Hal leaves the room. He sees 3 people about to enter the room and pulls on the f*re alarm)
Hal: Hey!
(Two of the soldiers pursue him. Hal escapes by climbing over a wire fence, but the camera drops to the ground on the other side. The two soldiers approach the fence, and Hal decides to run for it)
(Back in present-day Roswell. Hal has set up some bottles on a truck and sh**t at them with his g*n)
Hal: Wanna try?
Michael: What did you see? What was in those sacs?
Hal: I never planned on telling this much of the story, kid. I never have.
Michael: Please.
Hal: They looked like human fetuses. There was 4 to a sac. 8 total. That night, I packed my things and never came back. The base was on full alert. There was no way anybody or anything else could have escaped...and that's the story of Hal Carver. The only time I ever stuck my neck out to save anything...and it all went to hell.
(Michael reaches out his hand and blows up the bottles from a distance)
Michael: You saved me.
(He then turns to Hal who is having trouble lighting his cigarette. Michael creates a flame on his thumb. Hal and Michael hug)
(At school, Liz is getting stuff out of her locker. Michael stops by)
Michael: Have you seen Max?
Liz: Oh, Michael. Um, no. He said something about stopping by the Crashdown later.
Michael: You ok?
Liz: Me? Yeah. Sure. Why?
Michael: Well, the whole Congresswoman Whitaker thing. We'll work it out.
Liz: Yeah, I know.
Michael: And, uh, and this morning...yeah...I'm sorry.
Liz: Thank you. Did Max ask you to do that?
Michael: What?
Liz: The whole being nice thing.
Michael: No. I came up with it myself.
(Michael starts to walk away)
Liz: I like it.
(Michael has brought Maria to the granilith chamber)
Michael: Meet the reason I haven't been returning your phone calls.
Maria: My God. What is it?
Michael: I don't know...but eventually I'm hoping we can find out.
Maria: "We?" You didn't even choke on that.
Michael: Well, today I had a little history lesson, and here's the thing...I owe more to you than I can imagine. To Liz, Alex, Valenti, to some old guy named Hal who lives in Tampa and plays shuffleboard. I never realized it...so here it is.
(Michael holds out both hands to Maria)
Michael: Thank you.
(Maria places her hands in Michael's)
Maria: You're welcome. What's wrong?
Michael: You know those pods that housed Max, Isabel, Tess, and me?
Maria: Yeah, before you were born?
Michael: Well, there's another set of them, and they're somewhere out there.
(Episode ends with Michael and Maria standing in the granolith chamber) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x04 - Summer of '47"} | foreverdreaming |
"The End of the World"
Episode: 5
27th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA05
Written by: Jason Katims
Original Air Date: Wednesday October 30, 2000
(It's the year 2014. Future Max and Future Liz are in the granolith chamber. Max prepares to travel back in time using the granoliths power)
Future Max: I won't leave you.
Future Liz: No, no, no. Max, you have to.
Future Max: If I'm successful, if I can do this, you and I won't exist. Not as we do now.
Future Liz: Max, if you don't do this, we're gonna die. Everyone will. Max, you have to do this. You have to try it.
Future Max: I'll never see you again.
Future Max: Thank you.
Future Liz: For what?
Future Max: For every kiss, every smile.
Future Liz: Max, I don't have any regrets.
(Future Max activates the granilith by inserting a crystal into the base. Future Max appears inside the granilith. He reaches his hand towards Future Liz and she does the same. Future Max is sucked into the top of the granilith. Future Liz is knocked to the ground)
Future Liz: Aah! Ma...Max!
(In present day Roswell, Maria is driving Liz and Alex to Madame Vivian's place)
Liz: I'm so confused.
Alex: I'm so depressed.
Maria: Wimps.
Liz: Max keeps coming to my window and telling me he wants to be with me again, but I know it's...it can never work out.
Alex: Isabel, she gave me another one of those "Alex, you're such a great friend" speeches. It made me want to puke.
Maria: I have Michael Guerin. He's mine. You should have seen his face when he apologized to me. His eyes were practically begging me to take his sorry ass back. I have so landed him for once and for all...I think.
Liz: Where are you taking us, anyway?
Maria: Mmm. To a place where all of our questions will finally be answered. She'll tell us where our future lies with our hybrid freaks. She's a prophet. My mom lives her whole life based on her advice.
Alex: And this is a recommendation?
(Inside the psychic's house, Alex is the first to talk to Madame Vivian)
Alex: So, Isabel and I will be...
Psychic: You are a wonderful friend, her foundation. You will never have a carnal relationship...
Alex: Oh, come on, Madame Vivian, there's gotta be something in those leaves...a few moments of pure lust? Anything? Uh...Story of my life.
(Maria's turn. She asks about Michael)
Psychic: This boy...very volatile.
Maria: That's good for sex, right?
Psychic: This relationship will not endure.
Maria: Look, lady, I am not necessarily looking to tie the knot myself, but do I at least have a few months?
Psychic: 48 hours, tops.
Maria: 48 hours? Ok, are they a good 48 hours?
(Liz's turn. She asks about Max)
Psychic: I've never seen the cards fall like this before. The boy, he's different.
Liz: Yeah.
Psychic: He's very important, this boy. A leader.
Liz: Yeah, he has this whole other destiny...one that doesn't include me.
Psychic: No. He chooses love.
Liz: What?
Psychic: He chooses you.
Liz: No, no, no, no, see, that's impossible.
Psychic: The reading is clear. You marry your true love. You have happiness. The card here? Intimacy, sex. You will not be left wanting.
(We see Liz back in her room pretending she's wearing a wedding dress)
Liz: I, Liz Parker, take Max Evans to be...
(Suddenly there is the crack of thunder and Future Max lands outside Liz's window. He walks to the window and crouches so Liz can see his face)
Future Max: Liz.
Liz: Max?
(Opening credits)
Liz: No, no, I don't...I don't know who you are, but you...you're not Max.
Future Max: Liz, I know this is all hard to believe...
Liz: Wh-what? You expect me to believe that the...the granilith is like some sort of time machine?
Future Max: It wasn't intended to be, but it does have an enormous amount of power, and we were able to modify it to artificially create a tear in time space.
Liz: No! No! There is no such thing as time travel, ok...because it is against every rule of physics, of reality, of everything.
Future Max: Look, I realize this is overwhelming.
Liz: No, you're not Max, ok? You...you're like a shapeshifter. You are like some other kind of alien, with, like, the ability to look like Max with that beard and those...and those grey hairs.
Future Max: Do you really see grey?
Liz: This isn't funny, ok?
Future Max: Hold on.
Liz: No! Let go of me!
Future Max: Liz...Liz, it's me.
Liz: Please, just let go of me.
Future Max: If I were a shapeshifter, there's no way I could tell the future. In approximately 10 seconds, I will show up outside your window and begin singing to you...accompanied by a mariachi band.
Liz: A mariachi band. Max wouldn't do anything that cheesy.
Future Max: 3...2...1.
Liz: Well?
Max: I said approximately.
(There is a faint music that starts getting louder)
Future Max: I spent a week learning the lyrics from Mr. Delgado at the hardware store.
(Max and his mariachi buddies start singing to Liz in Spanish)
Liz: Wow, that's really embarrassing.
Future Max: I know...but I had to do something to get your attention. You had shut me out.
(More singing. Max throws up a bouquet of red roses to Liz)
Future Max: As I threw the flowers up to you, I remembered you preferred white roses.
(The roses change from red to white as they are in the air. Liz catches them)
Liz: Why are you here?
Future Max: I can't tell you too much, Liz...only what you need to know...but 14 years from now, we are taken over by our enemies.
Liz: Uh, who's taken over?
Future Max: Everyone. Earth. I need you to help me keep that from happening. We need to change the future. What we do here has to be precise and surgical. No one can know I'm here, especially not me...that is, my younger self.
Liz: Uh, what is it you want to...
Max: Not now...your dad's coming.
(Jeff Parker knocks on the door and enters Liz's room to find out what all the noise is about)
Mr. Parker: Lizzie? What the hell is going on out there? Is that Max again? Max, is that you again? It's 11:00. Tomorrow's a school day...
(Mr. Parker looks down and sees Max and his mariachi band singing and start to walk away)
Mr. Parker: Aw, jeez.
(At the Crashdown, Maria tells Michael about Madame Vivian's prediction)
Maria: We need to talk.
Michael: Talk?
Maria: Yeah, about our relationship.
Michael: You gotta be joking me.
Maria: Some stupid psychic told me that the next 48 hours are critical, so could you just try not to be a bonehead? Is that, like, a possibility?
(Courtney enters)
Maria: No waitresses in the kitchen.
Courtney: Hey, Mikey G. You got my order yet?
Michael: Yeah, right there.
Courtney: Takeoff Tacos, Plutonium Platter, and the Greek God salad, light on the feta. You're such a good boy.
(Courtney slaps Mikey G on the butt, then leaves)
Michael: She put in that order before I got busy.
Maria: Ok, give it up, Guerin. What's going on with her?
Michael: Yeah, that's exactly what I want to know.
Maria: Michael.
Michael: I don't trust her.
Maria: Hmm. Neither do I.
Michael: I mean, there's something going on with her. Another new face in town. Arrived this summer after the signal went out. Her picture was in Whitaker's office. Constantly hanging around me, always giving me these looks.
Maria: So, do you think she's an alien?
Michael: Or with the government. I don't know.
Maria: Well, I'll tell you what I know, Mikey G. The slut wants in your pants.
Michael: That might work. Oh, nice.
Maria: What might work, Michael?
(Future Max is in Liz's room looking at some pictures of her and Max)
Liz: That's private. Ok, I have some questions.
Future Max: I understand.
Liz: If you need Max to do something different, why don't you just go to Max directly?
Future Max: It's complicated...but if a person encounters himself in another time period, there could be a...a reaction.
Liz: A reaction...
Future Max: I don't entirely understand it myself, but Serina said...she's gonna be a friend of yours one day. It has something to do with quantum mechanics, but in essence, Max and I would both be destroyed if we actually came into contact.
Liz: Oh.
Future Max: Liz, what's about to happen over the next few days is critical to the history of this planet. Things between us are about to change...grow deeper. We become inseparable, and nothing comes between us ever again, until...
Liz: The...the end of the world?
Future Max: That's right.
Liz: What happened?
Future Max: The closer that you and I grew, the worse it got with Tess, and eventually she left Roswell.
Liz: Because of me?
Future Max: Because of me, and how I treated her. And it turned out Tess was critical to our survival. The four of us - Michael, Isabel, Tess, and I...we made a complete unit. We all had different gifts, and with one of us missing, we weren't as strong, and everything fell apart.
Liz: So, um...you want me to help you and Tess get together?
Future Max: Yes.
Liz: Why don't you just go to Tess?
Future Max: It's you I trust. It's you I have faith in, and because it's not just about getting me close to Tess. I need you to help me fall out of love with you.
(Max gives Courtney a ride back to her place on his motorbike)
Courtney: Thanks for the ride.
Michael: No problem.
Courtney: You handle your machine really good.
Michael: Thanks.
Courtney: Well, I guess it's time for another night curled up in my sheets, fondling my remote control.
Michael: I guess.
Courtney: Unless, of course, you want to be my remote control for the night?
Michael: I'd better go home.
Courtney: Too bad. Well...good night.
(Courtney kisses Michael)
Michael: What the hell.
(Michael decides to go in)
(Switch to Kyle's room in the Valenti household. Tess takes off a poster on the wall and starts using her power to wipe away part of the wall)
Kyle: I thought I told you I didn't want you doing that bewitched crap in the house.
Tess: Out of my room.
Kyle: It's my room!
Tess: You...you know what? Just...just forget it. I'm sick of this place, and I'm sick of Max Evans.
Kyle: Don't toy with me.
Tess: I never asked to be his mate. He thinks I'm just gonna wait around until he comes to terms with his destiny? Well, I'm not. He can figure it out on his own. They all can. You know, they didn't even know where the pod chamber was until I came along. I hate this life. I feel better.
Kyle: You look really great when you're pissed.
Tess: Yeah, right.
Kyle: No, I'm serious. I feel, like, all this energy coming from you right now. In order to trim the lamp of wisdom, we must attend to our bodily needs.
Tess: Let me tell you something, Buddha-boy...I got a lamp that needs some serious trimming.
(The doorbell rings. Kyle goes to answer it. It's Liz. She's wants to talk to Tess)
Liz: Hi.
Kyle: Well, you here for a reason, or you just rushed right over 'cause you sensed I might be experiencing some actual joy?
Liz: Oh, uh, actually, I need to talk to Tess.
Tess (to Kyle): We'll finish trimming my lamp later.
Kyle: Right. I'll keep my equipment on the ready.
Tess: Mmm. What's up?
Liz: I thought maybe we could talk.
Tess: About what?
Liz: Look, Tess...um, I know that we got off to a bad start...
Tess: Look, I'm not into bonding.
Liz: Well, neither am I, but... I want to help you with Max.
Tess: What?
Liz: I know Max, and I think I can help you with him.
Tess: How...how stupid do you think I am? I don't know what your plan is, but I know you don't want to help me. You hate me. You all do. Don't you think I know that?
Liz: Yeah, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Max. His future's you.
Tess: And you just came to this?
Liz: No, no. Look, I came to it that day in the desert when I walked away from him. Tess, I...I...I am sick of living like this, and I'm not gonna be free to move on unless I get Max to move on.
Tess: Look, I don't need your help. If Max doesn't come around on his own, he can...he can go to hell for all I care.
Liz: Tess...it was really hard for me to come here. You can imagine, and look...I know that it's hard for you to admit that you need help...but you do. It's up to you.
(Back to Courtney's place. Courtney is giving Michael a massage)
Michael: So, how long have you lived in Roswell, anyway?
Courtney: A few months.
Michael: What brought you here?
Courtney: I've always been into the whole alien thing, I guess, but I have to admit, the sightseeing has exceeded my expectations. What now?
Michael: Shower.
Courtney: Let's.
Michael: Just you.
Courtney: What?
Michael: I'm a germ-a-phobe. A clean girl is a sexy girl.
Courtney: Ok. Water sports. I like it. I'll play any game you want me to, Mikey G.
(Courtney steps into the bathroom to take a shower. Michael starts snooping around. He opens a cabinet and finds it completely filled with skin lotion. Suddenly, he hears a noise from the window. It's Maria)
Michael: What the hell are you doing here?
Maria: Investigating Courtney. What are you doing here, hound?
Michael: No, I'm investigating Courtney. Get out of here.
Maria: No, no, no. I found a picture of you, Max, and Isabel in her locker, and your face was circled.
Michael: No way.
Courtney (from bathroom): Maybe you should put on some tunes, baby.
Maria: Bastard.
Michael: I had to get her out of the room somehow.
Michael (to Courtney): Good idea, baby.
Maria: I...I'm gonna retch.
Michael: Ok, I've got the situation under control, so get out of here...seriously.
Maria: If you lay one hand on her...
Michael: No one is laying anything on anyone.
Courtney (from bathroom): By the way, you are an amazing kisser.
(Maria thwaps Michael on the head)
Maria: You obviously came here for 2 reasons, huh?
(Courtney comes out of the bathroom dressed in a towel)
Courtney: Is somebody here?
(Maria hands Courtney a hair piece)
Maria (to Courtney): Um...here. You left that at work.
Maria (to Michael): And umm...remember how I said we had 48 hours? That was...that was way too optimistic. We're done.
(Maria leaves)
Michael (to Courtney): I'm gonna go.
(Switch to Future Max and Liz who are staking out Tess from Whitaker's office. Max is supposed to meet her shortly. Liz is giving Tess instructions on what to say and how to act)
Future Max: Good, you got her to wear that top.
Liz: Yeah, so you like that top?
Future Max: Well, we have to...play every card we have.
(Max arrives promptly and sits down at Tess' table)
Future Max: Here he comes.
Liz: Just don't look at him. Let him come to you. Show him the book. Make sure he sees it.
Tess: Really? Steinbeck's my favorite author, too.
Future Max: He sat down. You got him to sit down with her.
Liz: Rah-rah. What?
Future Max: Nothing. It's just...seeing you at 17 again is making it all come flooding back to me. How my stomach used to rumble every time I saw you.
Liz: So, um...did we get married?
Future Max: Liz, you know I can't...
Liz: You...I know, you can't talk about it. I'm sorry. I know.
Future Max: We eloped. We were 19.
Liz: We were 19? Wow, that is so young. That is too young.
Future Max: That's what I said, but you said that Romeo and Juliet were even younger than us, so we drove to Vegas. Got married at the Elvis chapel. Congratulations, kids.
Liz: So we didn't have a real wedding.
Future Max: Oh, we had a great wedding. You called Maria, Michael, Isabel, and Alex, and had them meet us halfway. We spent the whole night singing and dancing in some dive outside Phoenix, and at the end of the night, "I Shall Believe" came on the radio.
Liz: I love that song.
Future Max: I know. Everyone else was exhausted, but not us. Oh, we danced...just the two of us. And ever since then, it's been our song.
Liz: If this works...I'm not gonna have that day.
Future Max: No, you won't.
Liz: Then what happens to you if we succeed? I...I mean you. The future version of you?
Future Max: If we succeed in changing history, a different version of the future will take place. All the events that led to who I am 14 years from now will be different. The man I am now will cease to exist.
(Switch to Max and Tess' conversation)
Max: Listen, I...I realize none of this is your fault. You just sought me out because it was your destiny.
Tess: Hey, I...I can only imagine if you thought you'd found the love of your life and someone comes to tell you that you're meant to be with someone else.
Max: Exactly.
Tess: You know, if things change, they change. If they don't, it's ok, Max.
Max: I don't think things will change.
Tess: I know, but it takes two, and if Liz isn't interested...
Max: What do you mean, "if Liz isn't interested?"
Tess: No, I...I didn't mean...
Max: You were talking to Liz about this?
Tess: N-Not exactly.
(Max looks around and sees someone peeking from Congresswoman Whitaker's office)
Future Max: Damn.
(Max walks over to Congresswoman Whitaker's office)
Liz: Get outta here.
(Future Max makes a quick exit into Congresswoman Whitaker's room)
Liz: Max.
Max: Were you watching?
Liz: Um...
Max: So, it was all a setup.
Liz: Yeah.
Max: You tried to get Tess and me together?
Liz: Look, I know that you must hate me right now. I, um...
(Max grabs Liz and gives her a long, passionate kiss. There are image flashbacks)
Max: I felt that...and I know you did, too, and I know you think that...that I need to let you go...for the sake of Michael, and Isabel, and my race...so you went to Tess. But she can't be you. Tess can never be you.
Liz: Max, we have to stop this. We have to. I am telling you that we have to.
Max: Go out with me on Friday. There's a Gomez concert in Santa Fe. I have tickets.
Liz: No. No, Max. I can't go out with you ever again. Please stop doing this.
Max: I can't.
(In Liz's room, Future Max and Liz discuss what happened with Max)
Future Max: You're supposed to be breaking up with him, not kissing him.
Liz: You...you kissed me. I mean...you know, he kissed me.
Future Max: You're only making me love you more.
Liz: I just said no to Gomez.
Future Max: You said no the last time, too. I didn't take no for an answer.
Liz: So we went to the concert.
Future Max: No. The night of Gomez I came to your room. That's the night that things between us were cemented.
Liz: Cemented. So when you say cemented, you...
Future Max: We made love.
Liz: No, no, we...we didn't.
Future Max: Liz...
Liz: No, I have no intention of making love to you or...or anyone else at this particular stage of my life.
Future Max: I beg to differ.
Liz: No. Making love to you is the farthest thing from my mind. I...I don't even have protection.
Future Max: I did.
Liz: Oh, that's great. There you are, Max the Saint, just walking around with a condom in his back pocket. I...I...I don't even care what happened in your reality. I am not making love to you or anyone until I am ready, and I am just not ready.
Future Max: Liz, I am telling you what happened, and we have to change that. We have to. And so far, we've failed. Liz, it's not just Max that's the problem here. You are. You are not letting yourself change. Now you have to do something...before it's too late.
(Alex is looking for Maria at the Crashdown and finds her in the back, ripping apart photos of Michael)
Alex: Maria.
Maria: Can you just wait outside for a second?
Alex: Sure.
(Maria is sobbing)
Alex: Maria, what's wrong?
Maria: Could you just get out of here?
Alex: What happened?
Maria: I found this picture of Michael in Courtney's locker...like some sort of surveillance photo or something.
Alex: Oh, my God. Is he all right?
Maria: Yeah, he's all right. Actually, he's terrific. I was worried about him, so I went all the way across town to save his ass, and I get there, and...he's already there, and so is Courtney...in a towel.
Alex: Maria.
(Switch to Max's room at home. He is doing some pull-ups. There is a knock on his window. It's Liz)
Max: Well, this is a surprise.
Liz: It isn't what you think. No, I can do it.
(Liz climbs in)
Liz: Can you...um, put a shirt on, please?
(Max puts a shirt on)
Liz: Thank you.
Max: Liz...
Liz: Don't say anything, ok? Um, because I...I came in here with this whole speech, and once you start talking, my speech doesn't apply, and everything gets changed, and I just want to make sure that I say everything to you, so just don't say anything. Just don't say anything. Ok, I...I just re-read "Romeo and Juliet", and you know, the first thing that I realized is that isn't even the title. It's called "The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet". They die. You know, she's this young girl, she...she's younger than me, and she dies. Look, I think the reason why people think that it's such a romantic play is they don't know what it's like to be put in that position...but when your life and...and other people's lives are...are put at risk, there isn't anything romantic about it. Max, you can't stop what's happening to you. I mean, your life will always be dangerous, but my life, it doesn't have to be. My life is only in danger if I am with you. I...I want to be in love with boys...normal boys. I...I want to see my 21st birthday. I...I want to have a wedding day. I...I...I want to have children...and I want my children to be safe. You know, Max, if...if you truly love me, you'll let me go. I may love you, but I...I don't want to die for you.
(Max immediately goes to Maria for advice)
Maria: You just want me to tell you that it's all gonna work out, right?
Max: No. I want to hear what you have to say.
Maria: Ok. Here's what I think...give Liz up. Leave her alone. All this is leading nowhere. None of us belong with any of you. And I'm really sick of how much it's screwing us up. I mean, look at us. We're pathetic.
(Back outside Liz's room, Liz is sobbing. Future Max reaches his hand for a tissue and it goes through the box)
Liz: What...what's happening?
Future Max: This must be it. What you did must have worked. I'm leaving.
Liz: What, so you're just...you're going back to where you came from?
Future Max: No. There's nowhere to go back to.
(Switch back to Max and Maria at the Crashdown. Max is in a daze)
Maria: You're not there, are you?
Max: I can't help it. I love her. What can I say?
Maria: You're hopeless.
(Future Max is silent for a moment, then attempts to grab the box again. This time, his hand doesn't go through it)
Future Max: It didn't work. We have to do something else.
Liz: No, I...I can't.
Future Max: You have to.
Liz: Do you know how hard it was for me to tell him that I didn't want to die for him? He's the only reason that I'm alive right now. You...you've...you gotta come up with another plan. Please go to someone else. I...I just...I can't do this anymore.
Future Max: Just 25 minutes before I came here, I held Michael in my arms...d*ad. Isabel died 2 weeks before that. Now you have to do this. You have to find a way. All of our lives depend on it.
Liz: How? What can I do that's gonna make you turn away from me?
Future Max: I don't know.
(Later, at the Crashdown, Maria spies Liz glumly gazing from the back room into the main Crashdown area)
Maria: What's wrong?
Liz: Uh...nothing.
Maria: You look upset, Liz.
Liz: I...I just can't talk about it. Oh, I heard about Michael and Courtney.
Maria: What gets me is that...that Madame Vivian bitch was right. Granted, Michael is the world's worst boyfriend. I know that. You know that. America knows that. But when I caught them together...that look of guilt on his face...I've never felt so awful, Liz.
Liz: Oh, my God.
Maria: I know. I mean, I guess it's a good thing, you know? 'Cause...when I saw that, I realized there was nothing he could do to make up for it. I know it's over.
(Liz listens to Maria's words and she realizes she may have found a way to get Max to stop loving her. She goes to Kyle for help)
Liz: I need your help.
(Kyle and Liz are in Liz's room. Kyle is undressing in Liz's room, while Liz is undressing in her bathroom. Liz is trying to set things up so that Max will come by and see her and Kyle together in bed)
Kyle: So...we haven't really, uh...talked much lately.
Liz: Yeah! How's it going?
Kyle: Not bad. I found Buddha.
(Future Max is with Liz in the bathroom)
Future Max: I don't think this is a good plan.
Liz (to Future Max): What are you talking about?
Future Max: You really think this is gonna work? I would never be jealous of Kyle.
Liz (to Future Max): Can you turn around?
(Liz starts to undress)
Liz (to Kyle): So that's like meditation, right? Incense, that sort of thing?
Kyle: It's really about approaching life through a spiritual place and becoming in tune with different planes of existence.
Future Max: What a line of crap.
Kyle: Am I taking my boxers off?
Liz (to Kyle): No. Undergarments stay on.
Kyle: Right.
Future Max: If he tries anything...
Liz (to Future Max): I've got it under control. Please stay out of earshot.
(Liz comes out of her bathroom dressed in a towel)
Kyle: This brings back memories.
Liz: Kyle, we were never in bed together.
Kyle: What? No. I'm talking about the towel. The "Y" pool, summer before last?
Liz: Yeah.
Kyle: Liz...I, uh...I want you to know that, uh...uh...I meditated on this entire situation, and I'm, uh...I'm at peace with it.
Liz: Oh. Uh...that...that's great.
Kyle: So shall we hop in?
Liz: Yeah. Um, Kyle, look...I just wanna make sure that I...I...I made it actually clear that we're not gonna...
Kyle: Consummate. I understand.
Liz: Right. And when we kiss...
Kyle: No tongue. I'm on board.
Liz: Yeah. Ok.
Kyle: I'm here to help. My body's merely a vessel.
Liz: Ok.
(Alex stops by at Michael's apartment)
Michael: What's up?
Alex: Nothing. Nothing at all.
Michael: Well, I was kinda watching the game, so if you got something on your mind...
(Alex grabs the remote and turns off the TV)
Alex: Do you have any idea what you've done to Maria?
Michael: Dude, it was a misunderstanding.
Alex: Look. I don't care that you've got 30 pounds on me or...or that you can k*ll me with some...some twisted alien power. I will not let you treat her like that. I...I don't care that Isabel treats me like crap, but no one does that to Maria, all right? She's not just some girl!
Michael: You gotta believe me...I have nothing...
(Courtney happens to stop by at that moment)
Courtney: Knock knock.
(Alex turns around and nails Michael in the face. Alex immediately starts wincing)
Alex: Ow!
Michael: You realize you just risked your life?
Alex: Yeah.
Michael: You're a really good friend, man.
Alex: Call me that again, and I'll really kick your ass.
(Alex leaves)
Courtney: Are you ok?
Michael: Yeah. I'm fine.
(Michael and Courtney start making out again. Michael reaches around to her back and peels off a piece of skin)
Michael: You're a skin? Stop!
(Michael fires his alien power at Courtney, who makes a quick escape out the window)
(Back to Liz's room, where Liz and Kyle are lying next to each other in her bed)
Kyle: So Evans must have really pissed you off to get you to resort to something like this.
Liz: I told you I don't really want to talk about why I'm doing this.
Kyle: Jeez, I just figured since I'm giving you my last shred of dignity...
Liz: I...I really. I can't.
Kyle: So...we have something in common.
Liz: Yeah? What's that?
Kyle: We, uh...we're the only two people I know of who have died and were brought back by an alien.
Liz: Yeah. You're right.
Kyle: You feel different?
Liz: Yeah. Kyle...when he healed you, um...did...did you see things?
Kyle: See things?
Liz: Flashes. Images.
Kyle: No. But since he healed me, I keep getting these flashes of Max Evans naked.
(Liz laughs)
Kyle: Feels good to make you laugh again.
Liz: It feels like this is the first time we've talked...since...
Kyle: Feels good to do that again.
Liz: Yeah. It does feel good.
(Max shows up with the Gomez tickets in hand, just like Future Max had predicted. He sees Liz and Kyle in bed together and is stunned. He drops the tickets and leaves)
Kyle: Well, I guess it worked.
(Switch to Max who is glumly sitting by himself on a bench. Tess walks by and asks how he is doing)
Tess: Are you ok?
Max: No.
Tess: Can I sit down?
Max: Sure.
(Switch to Liz and Future Max outside Liz's room)
Future Max: I've fought a thousand battles...but watching you do that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Liz: The look on his face...on your face.
Future Max: Maybe it's for the best. For you, too.
Liz: What are you talking about?
Future Max: I saw you with Kyle. He's turning out to be a...a great guy. Maybe it would be better for you to be with a human.
Liz: Don't you realize what you are to me...and you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another you.
(Switch back to Tess and Max sitting on the bench)
Tess: Do you wanna talk about it?
Max: No.
Tess: Do you want me to leave?
Max: No.
(Switch back to Future Max and Liz)
Liz: So Max and...Tess are going to be together now.
Future Max: I don't know. I don't know anything now. This is a different world.
Liz: I'm gonna be alone.
Future Max: Maybe. Maybe not. From now on, the future is to be determined. It's what've always said to you, Liz. We create our own destiny.
Liz: Could you dance with me?
Future Max: What?
Liz: I wanna have my wedding dance.
("I Shall Believe" starts playing. Liz dances with Future Max. Future Max twirls Liz and she spins around by herself. When she stops spinning, she realizes that Future Max has disappeared. The episode ends with her looking upward at the night sky and seeing a sh**ting star) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x05 - The End of the World"} | foreverdreaming |
"Harvest"
Episode: 6
28th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA06
Written by: Fred Golan
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 6, 2000
(Episode begins in a hallway at school)
Maria: You ok?
Liz: Oh, I didn't get much sleep last night.
Maria: You look like you got your heart stomped out. No, wait...that would be me. Well, if it's possible, you look worse.
Liz: Have you seen Max today?
Maria: He did this to you?
Liz: No, uh...well, yeah. I just...I can't even explain it.
Maria: You can't explain? This is me you're talking to here.
Liz: I just want to make sure that he's ok. But, if you see him, just don't tell him I asked.
(Michael walks up to Maria)
Michael: Hey.
Maria: Whatever, dude.
Michael: No, I have something to tell you.
Maria: I'm not interested.
Michael: Hey, it's about Courtney.
Maria: I am so not interested.
Michael: Hey, will you just listen to me?
Maria: You listen to me here. She made a play for you, and you went for it. So, what? Now she's screwed you over and you've come to realize she's a cheap, manipulative tramp? Well, this is not news to me.
Michael: She's an alien. A skin, like Whitaker.
(Group meeting in a classroom)
Michael: I knew there was something wrong about her, even before I found her picture in Whitaker's office.
Max: Where's Courtney now?
Michael: I don't know. She went out the window. I tried chasing her...
Maria: But it's hard to run with your pants around your ankles?
Tess: Settle the personal crap on your own time. If Courtney's a skin, it means she was working with Whitaker.
Isabel: You're right. There's no way 2 skins would just happen to be in Roswell at the same time. They were working together, which means Courtney knows everything about us.
Michael: Maxwell, are we disturbing you?
Tess: Leave him alone. He's had a rough night.
Michael: Really? Something you wanna share with the class?
Max: No. Look, if Courtney is a skin and she was working with Whitaker, the first question is, does she know that Whitaker's d*ad?
Maria: If she didn't before, she does now.
Television: We have this story just in. A controversial New Mexico congresswoman is d*ad. We'll have that story in just a minute.
(Opening credits)
Television: Widowed just 6 months before her husband John Whitaker's upcoming election, she took his place on the ballot and won the election by a higher margin than any Democrat in 15 years. But all that ended yesterday, just outside her hometown of Copper Summit, Arizona, where a tragic single-car accident cut short a life of public service.
Tess: A car crash?
Television: In other national news, the Department of Transportation took...
Isabel: She died 2 weeks ago. I was there.
Max: We were all there.
Michael: How could she be in a car accident if she's dust?
Tess: So who's conveniently covering up her death for us?
Isabel: Nasedo said the skins were among us. Skins, plural. Maybe other skins created a fake car accident to keep the Feds from looking too closely into Whitaker's background.
Tess: Max...what do we do?
Michael: Uh, let me guess. Nothing.
Max: Liz.
(Switch to Whitaker's office. Liz is answering a phone call)
Liz (on phone): Yeah, we...we're in total shock. No, we haven't set a date for the memorial service yet. Yes, I will let you know as soon as we do. Of course. Ok.
Liz: The phone's been ringing off the hook for the past hour.
Max: Somebody covered up Whitaker's death.
Liz: Why?
Max: Has anybody been asking questions over the past few days?
Liz: People have been calling. I just have been saying that she's on vacation, just like we said.
Max: Well, somehow the skins know that she's d*ad. None of us has said anything...unless it came from here.
Liz: You mean, from me.
Tess: Look at this. The postmark says Copper Summit. It's from something called the Universal Friendship League.
Liz: Whitaker never mentioned it.
Isabel: What the hell is the Universal Friendship League? Could it sound any creepier?
Tess: Marked "personal".
(Max opens the envelope and reads the letter out loud)
Max: "Dear member: Your failure to report as scheduled violates protocol. We must receive word by the 25th of this month or terminate your membership, effective that date."
Isabel: The 25th was yesterday.
Tess: That's when they say she died.
Max: "Sincerely, T. Greer, senior coordinator, Vilandra project."
Isabel: Vilandra?
Max: Does that mean something to you?
Isabel: No. We should call.
(Liz calls the UFL)
UFL Person: Yes?
Liz: Hi, um, is this the...the Universal Friendship League?
UFL Person: Who is this?
Liz: I...I'm calling from Congresswoman Vanessa Whitaker's office. We just, um, opened this letter this morning and...I wanted to call and apologize for not responding sooner.
UFL Person: Yes?
Liz: We just wanted to let you know that, unfortunately, Congresswoman has passed away.
UFL Person: Thank you for calling.
(The person from the UFL hangs up)
Liz: They just hung up.
Max: We're going to Arizona.
Michael: Hey, I'm not going anywhere until I find...
Max: Courtney. That's right, you're staying.
Michael: So we agree.
Max: Yeah.
Michael: There's a first.
Max: But we do need you to come with us, Liz. You're the only one of us who has a legitimate connection to Whitaker.
(Max, Isabel, Tess, and Liz are in the jeep on their way to Arizona. Isabel remembers what Whitaker told her about Vilandra)
Whitaker (V.O.): Your name...was Vilandra. And you were beautiful...even more beautiful than you are now. You had a great love, and for him, for us, you betrayed your brother, your race. You sacrificed him. You sacrificed everyone, even yourself. And history, my dear...always repeats itself.
(Later on during the drive. Isabel and Tess have fallen asleep. Liz is driving and Max is staring at her from the back seat)
Liz: I'm...I'm ok up here...if you want to get some sleep.
Max: I haven't slept since I saw you with Kyle. Liz, I know you, and I don't believe that you would do that to me. It doesn't make sense. Tell me what happened.
(Meanwhile, Michael and Maria investigate Courtney's apartment)
Maria: Michael! I feel like we're Scully and Mulder or something.
Michael: Shhh. Would you shut up?
Maria: Ok.
Michael: Nobody's home.
(Maria finds some CDs)
Maria: Culture Club? Wham? The Backstreet Boys? God, she really is an alien, this one.
Michael: A little help here?
Maria: Fine. What are we looking for?
Michael: Clues? You know...an address book or a calendar somewhere.
Maria: Of course. Like she's gonna write her hideout in an address book, oh ho!
Michael: Hey, are you just gonna rag on me or are you gonna help?
(Maria finds a piece of shedded skin)
Maria: Michael...What is this?
Michael: That's why they call 'em skins. She's shedding.
Maria: Eww, it's so gross! Eww! How did you figure out she was a skin, anyway?
Michael: I saw part of her skin come off.
Maria: Which part?
Michael: When are you gonna get off this?
Maria: Not for a very, very long time, Mikey G.
Michael: There's nothing going on between me and Courtney.
(Maria and Michael resume their search. Maria finds something and screams)
Maria: Ohh! Ohh!
(Michael rushes over to help Maria. He and Maria see a Michael shrine in the closet. There are numerous pictures of him, as well as some of his belongings)
Michael: That's the shirt I lost at work. What the hell is this?
Maria: It's Graceland...and you're Elvis.
Michael: Wow.
Maria: Wow? Is that all you can say right now, is "wow"? She's obsessed with you. She's, like, an alien stalker. She's been spying on you for weeks. She's been dreaming about you, fantasizing about you...
Michael: Hey, shut up for a second. Take a look at the pictures. They were all sh*t from the apartment across the street from my building.
Maria: So? Oh! That's where she goes to spy on you.
Michael: Yep.
Maria: Ohh.
(Max and company arrive at Copper Summit. They stop at the Stagecoach Museum and ask one of the locals where the Universal Friendship League is)
Max: Excuse me.
Local: Help you?
Isabel: Yeah, this is Copper Summit?
Local: Yee-haw.
Isabel: Where's the main drag?
Local: Lookin' at it.
Max: The tour guide made it sound like...
Local: That must be an old tour guide. 46 miles from the interstate, 63 from the nearest Ho-Jo's. This town's d*ad as a doornail.
Max: Actually, we're looking for the Universal Friendship League.
Local: Here for the harvest, then?
Isabel: Harvest?
Local: Uh, Friendship League's a members-only outfit. Very hush-hush. They don't like outsiders, especially with all the press around here these days.
Isabel: Actually, we've been invited.
Local: That right?
Isabel: Yeah.
Local: It ain't hard to find. Big old building.
Max: Stay on this street?
Local: Well, I did say this was the main drag, didn't I?
Max: Thank you.
(The local calls someone at the UFL)
Local: 4 on the way. Non-members.
(Max parks near the UFL)
Isabel: I'll go.
Max: Wait. We all have to watch our step. From this point on, trust only each other. Be aware, be careful, and don't go anywhere alone. All right?
(Max and Isabel leave. Tess and Liz talk in the jeep)
Tess: So...you and Kyle.
Liz: Yeah. Oh, Kyle...he told me that you two were, uh, getting involved.
Tess: Oh, it's ok, don't worry about it.
Liz: I'm sorry.
Tess: About what? All you did was sleep with him. How was he, anyway?
Liz: Oh, I, um...I...we...it was great.
Tess: Noted.
(Max and Isabel walk up to the Universal Friendship League and knock on the door. Mr. Greer opens the door to address them)
Isabel: I'm sorry, we didn't mean to bother you. We're looking for a Mr. Greer, the senior coordinator?
Greer: Yeah, that's me. T. Greer. Welcome to Copper Summit. "All kidding aside, it's a wild ride."
Isabel: Could we come in for just a minute and talk to...
Greer: Uh...we're a private organization. Members only.
Max: What exactly is the Universal Friendship League?
Greer: The friendship league is a private organization, and we ask all our valued visitors to avail themselves of all the tourist opportunities here in Copper Summit and to grant us our privacy.
Max: Coming through town, it seemed like all the tourist attractions were closed.
Greer: Then maybe the best thing to do is just head on down the highway. Try Tombstone. I ought to be going.
Isabel: What's the Vilandra project?
Greer: I wouldn't know.
Max: We were friends of Congresswoman Whitaker's. Before we leave town, we'd like to pay our respects to the family.
Greer: That'll be the Crawfords. 2 blocks down, turn left, red mailbox.
Max: Appreciate it.
(Greer closes the doors)
(Max, Tess, Isabel, and Liz make their way to the Crawford's residence. Ida Crawford is outside along with a mailman)
Max: Excuse me, is this the Crawford's?
(Mailman nods and points to the house)
Max: Thanks.
Max (to Liz): You're on.
Liz: Ms. Crawford? Hi, I'm Liz Parker. Vanessa's assistant. We talked on the phone?
Ida: Oh, sure. Liz Parker.
Liz: I'm really sorry to hear what happened to your daughter. It's so terrible.
Ida: Oh, thank you, dear. What are you doing here?
Liz: Oh, um, I just wanted to drop off some of your daughter's personal effects.
Ida: Oh, honey, that is so sweet. Well, you didn't have to come clear up here. My gosh, it must be 400 miles! Walt! Visitors! Did you kids work for Vanessa?
Isabel: No, not exactly.
Liz: Oh, um, this is Max, Isabel, and, uh, and Tess.
Ida: Walt...
Walt: Hmm?
Ida: These young people drove all the way up here to bring home some of Vanessa's things.
Walt: Why didn't they just send them?
Ida: What a thing to say! After they went to all that trouble. You must be so tired and hungry after that long drive. Come on in the house. I want to make you something to eat.
(Liz, Tess, and Isabel enter the house. Walt comments to Max as he's entering)
Walt: I guess you're the man in charge.
(Inside the Crawford Residence)
Walt: Did you take the 70?
Max: No, the, uh, the 10.
Walt: Ah, you don't wanna do that.
Max: I don't?
Walt: You wanna go over to Lordsburg, hook onto the 70, stay on that til you see the model reservoir sign, and that'll sh**t you right on to Artesia.
Ida: Walt, did you hear that?
Walt: Hmmm.
Ida: They came all this way for her service.
Walt: Huh.
Liz: Well, we felt like...like we should come. You know, the congresswoman, she was very...she was special...to all of us.
Isabel: Like a mother.
Ida: Really?
(Isabel notices a boy who is peeking in at them. It's Nicholas, Vanessa Whitaker's brother)
Isabel: Hi.
Ida: Nicholas, there you are! Come on in here. Come on, say hello.
Nicholas: No, ma'am.
Walt: Nicholas!
Ida: He took it real hard. He and his sister were very close.
Max: Maybe we'd better just find a hotel.
Walt: There ain't but one.
Ida: All four of you? At that old Motor Inn? I won't hear of it! You're all gonna spend the night here, and then tomorrow we can go to the memorial service together.
Liz: Are you sure?
Ida: If Vanessa was like your mother, we're like your grandparents. We'll treat you just the way Vanessa would have wanted. Well, ok, let's eat up, there!
Walt: Get you one of those crispy treats there.
Ida: Yeah, and I made all those gherkins myself. The crispy treats and the...
(Michael and Maria are staking out the building across the street from Michael's apartment)
Maria: This isn't gonna work. She's not just gonna stroll up to her hideout while we're sitting here watching her.
Michael: This was your idea.
Maria: That's not the way I remember it.
Michael: Ok, so now it's my fault.
Maria: Yes. You know what? Just to make things simpler, from now on you should consider everything to be your fault, ok? Ok.
Michael: Well, I know one way to make the time go faster.
Maria: Oh, funny.
Michael: I know.
Maria: But if we can talk reality here for a second, I think she booked. Out of town.
Michael: No dice. She wouldn't do that. She's obsessed with me.
Maria: Well, I guess that makes 2 of you, then, doesn't it?
Michael: She'll show up sooner or later.
Courtney: How 'bout sooner?
(Michael and Maria turn around to see Courtney in front of them. Michael immediately goes into his energy blast pose)
Courtney: Whoa! Hey, truce.
Michael: Don't move.
Courtney: Don't worry. I won't. You're watching the building. You figured out where I'd be from the pictures. That's very good, Mikey G. You're everything I thought you'd be and more.
Maria: Oh, please! Do your lips not get chapped from all the ass-kissing?
Michael: Sit down.
Courtney: Anything you say.
Michael: So you're a skin, like Whitaker.
Courtney: How'd you get on to Whitaker?
Maria: We're asking the questions here, ok? Now, why are you in Roswell? Where's the rest of your evil army? And most of all, why are you obsessed with my good-looking, if badly groomed boyfriend?
Courtney: I'm not obsessed with him, ok? I follow him in the...political sense.
Maria: Our leader?
Courtney: We're not with the other skins. We're renegades who believe that if you were in charge instead of Max in the first place, that none of this would have ever happened.
Michael: What are you talking about? In charge of what?
Courtney: Our planet, Michael. You don't remember any of this, do you?
Michael: Suppose you tell me.
Maria: Yeah, the short version, please.
Courtney: The short version...is that our planet was on the brink of a golden age, and then it all fell apart. You were the one who could have united our planet, pulled together the warring factions, brought peace. But you weren't on the throne.
Michael: Max.
Courtney: You wouldn't betray him. That loyalty cost your lives and those of everyone you loved. Please, just don't let history repeat itself. You're the one we need. You're our leader, our salvation.
Maria: Michael, if you can hear me now over the sound of your rapidly inflating ego, could you please tell me that you do not believe what this...this Michael-worshipper here has to say?
Michael: No...no...no way. No, this is just part of your plan to divide and conquer.
Courtney: I knew you weren't ready to hear this.
Michael: What's in Copper Summit, Arizona?
Courtney: Copper Summit's just some old tourist trap.
Michael: What's there?
Courtney: I'd stay away from there.
Michael: Why?
Maria: Yeah, why?
Courtney: Let's just say there aren't any Michael-worshippers in Copper Summit.
(Tess is looking at an old picture of Vanessa Whitaker. She closes her eyes and tries to use her powers to glean some information, when Mrs. Crawford surprises her)
Ida: Penny for your thoughts.
Tess: Oh, sorry.
Ida: Oh, it's all right.
Tess: You must have been very proud of her.
Ida: Very.
Tess: Tell me about her. What was she like when she was my age?
Ida: Oh, she was wonderful. Wonderful.
(Outside, Liz is walking down the street. Max calls out to her and then runs up to her)
Max: Liz! Liz, what are you doing? We agreed none of us would go anywhere alone.
Liz: Fine.
Max: Wait.
Liz: Max, look. There's just...there's nothing left to say.
Max: Except the truth.
Liz: We have already been through this!
Max: So far, all I know is what I saw, and what I saw can't be true, because it means everything I felt in my heart for the last year is a lie! Now, you owe me an explanation, and I want it right now!
Liz: Please quit shouting, Max. You're scaring me.
Max: That's a lie, too! You're not scared. You're hiding something.
Liz: I'm not.
Max: What the hell is going on with you, Liz? We never lied to each other, never kept a secret from each other.
Liz: You know, you have got me up on this pedestal, Max, and...I'm not this perfect person. I made a mistake. Look, Kyle and I made love. The end. I'm sorry.
(Max backs up and walks away without a word)
(Isabel is organizing her stuff in a room when Nicholas stops by and peeks in)
Isabel: Oh, Nicholas. Come in. I don't bite.
Nicholas: This used to be her room.
Isabel: I'm so sorry about your sister.
Nicholas: I was gonna visit her in Washington next year. We were gonna spend 3 days just at the Air and Space Museum.
Isabel: Did you get a lot of time with her, growing up?
Nicholas: When she'd visit, she'd make time. She always told me there's this whole wide world out there. She didn't want me stuck in Copper Summit for the rest of my life. She used to tell me stories about this planet in another galaxy, how there was this w*r going on, like a revolution.
Isabel: True stories?
Nicholas: How could they be true?
Isabel: Did she ever mention Vilandra?
Nicholas: How do you know about Vilandra?
Isabel: Vanessa told me some stories, too.
(Tess walks in on their conversation)
Tess: Hey. Oh, sorry.
Nicholas: I have to go.
(Nicholas leaves)
Tess: I've been looking all over the house for you. I was worried. I just found out that Whitaker was adopted. Ida told me.
Isabel: That means that Ida, Walt, and Nicholas could be human.
Tess: Exactly. And the Universal Friendship League. It's supposed to be a civic organization, like the Elks. Ida says they've been handling all the arrangements for the funeral. She and Walt haven't even seen the body.
Isabel: Because there is no body.
Tess: Right, but as long as the League handles everything, nobody has to know that. What about the kid?
Isabel: I don't know. You came crashing in before I had a chance to start a real conversation.
(Michael, and Maria, and Courtney are on their way to Copper Summit)
Courtney: This is a huge mistake. You're gonna get yourself k*lled.
Michael: Yeah, well, that's my problem.
Courtney: I didn't spend 50 years finding you so that you could throw your life away out of misplaced loyalty.
Maria: 50 years.
Courtney: Yeah, we came here in 1950. Do the math.
Maria: So, what? That would make you 65, 70? You're old enough to be Michael's grandmother. I just...I love that. I do.
Courtney: Hey, husks don't age.
Maria: Husks?
Courtney: Yeah, me. My skin...this thing that I'm wearing. It never ages.
Maria: What is your point?
Courtney: The point is, I've been a babe for 50 years. What are you gonna look like in 50 years from now?
Michael: Would you two let it go? You're giving me a headache. Yeah, what the hell is a husk?
Courtney: It's basically a shell. It protects us from the environment.
Michael: Like a space suit.
Courtney: Yeah. This planet's atmosphere is hostile to our race. The husks are a lifeform technology that we can genetically manipulate to resemble human bodies. Our relationship to it is essentially parasitic.
Maria: Your skin is alive?
Courtney: Like the trees are alive.
Michael: So, what's with the peeling?
Courtney: They're good for maybe 50 years. But the husks are dying.
Michael: Well, if all the skins in Copper Summit are about to die, then all we have to do is wait them out. If the husks die, we're home free, right?
Maria: Ok, what are you not telling us?
Courtney: The harvest.
(The next morning, Max, Isabel, Tess, and Liz attend the funeral service for Whitaker at the UFL)
Tess: I don't get it. What's the point of putting on a big show like this?
Max: That's exactly what this is. A big show. After this, there won't be any questions about what happened to Whitaker.
(Isabel notices Nicholas hanging out at the doorway, staring at her)
Isabel: I'll be back.
Max: Isabel.
(Isabel follows Nicholas to the back of the Stagecoach Museum. In the back, there is a row of bodies in glass chambers. They look exactly like the people at the UFL)
Isabel: Nicholas?
Nicholas: Hi.
Isabel: Oh, God, Nicholas.
Nicholas: I'm glad that you're here.
(Nicholas motions with his hand and an invisible blast knocks out Isabel)
Isabel: Unnh!
(Isabel wakes up. She looks around and sees 2 rows of cultivating husks)
Nicholas: Hello, Vilandra. It's been a long time.
(At the URL, Max, Tess, and Liz walk up to the casket where Whitaker's body rests. Upon first glance, it really does look like Whitaker is there)
Tess: Good-looking pile of dust.
Liz: This just can't be possible.
(Liz touches Whitaker's hand and a piece of it breaks off. Liz panicks for a moment, and then re-arranges the flowers so they cover Whitaker's hand)
Max: Let's go.
Greer: Friends, we are gathered here today...
(Max, Tess, and Liz look around. All of the people in the UFL are scratching their necks, peeling off some skin. Max, Tess, and Liz attempt to make a calm retreat)
Tess: Look, look.
Greer: ...to remember our sister, Vanessa Whitaker...
Liz: This place is crawling with them.
Greer: ...she never sought fame and fortune, but when destiny called...
Tess: There's no way they're going to let us get out of here.
Greer: ...she answered the call of public servant.
(Greer finds that Whitaker's husk has been cracked. He knows that Max and company know the truth)
Greer: Leaving so soon?
(The front doors close suddenly. Greer motions with his hand and Max, Tess, and Liz crumple to the ground)
Greer: You mustn't be in such a hurry to leave us. It appears our long search for the royal four has finally ended. How convenient of you to deliver yourselves to us.
Max: She's not one of us. Let her go.
Ida: She's a human who knows too much. It's a darn shame, 'cause she's awfully cute.
Greer: You must be the once and future king. And his bride.
Tess: That's right.
Greer: You won't remember me, but I remember you. This is a moment I've waited for a long time.
(Greer sh**t a yellow energy blast at Max, who counters with his green energy shield)
Greer: How long do you think you can hold out against all of us?
Max: As long as I have to.
(Back at the husk facility)
Nicholas: It's taken 20 years, nursing them from spores to maturity. Now, they're almost ready to harvest. Don't worry. You're safe here with us, Vilandra.
Isabel: My name...is Isabel.
Nicholas: For the moment. But when I looked into your eyes, it was Vilandra who looked back.
Isabel: No.
Nicholas: Your destiny is with us. With Khivar. He's waiting to hear that we've found you.
Isabel: I don't even know...
Nicholas: Who the hell Khivar is? The royal four. If only the people could see you now. Clueless teenagers groping for their own identities. You'd lose some of that legendary aura that's sprung up over the years.
Isabel: What do you want?
Nicholas: It's what you want. You just can't remember. I'm here to take you back to him, Vilandra. The leader of the rebellion. The man who currently sits on your brother's tarnished throne. The man for whom you sacrificed a kingdom. Your lover, Khivar.
Isabel: No.
(Nicholas motions with his hand and Isabel drops to the ground again)
Isabel: Unhh!
Nicholas: You're not going anywhere. You know, on our world, I was considered to be something of a ladies man. I even remember you giving me the eye now and again. But after spending 50 years as a teenage misfit, having all the women laugh at me, I've grown far less tolerant of the female sex. Where's the granilith?
Isabel: I don't know what you're talking about.
(Michael, Maria, and Courtney arrive in Copper Summit and park outside the Stagecoach Museum)
(At the UFL, Max is weakening under the strain of the skins' power against his energy shield)
Tess: I can help. Let my strength flow into yours.
(At the husk facility, Nicholas is standing over Isabel, who is kneeling on the ground)
Nicholas: Where is the granilith?
(The door opens. As Nicholas turns to look at the door, Isabel grabs a nearby pipe. When Nicholas turns back around, she whacks him with it)
Isabel: Unh!
Nicholas: Ok. Now I'm pissed.
Isabel: Ugh!
(Michael, Maria, and Courtney make a dramatic entrance. Michael knocks Nicholas to the ground with an energy blast. Maria and Courtney help Isabel to her feet and the girls make a quick exit)
Michael: Get her out of here!
Nicholas: And who do we have here? That gleam of dull stupidity in the eyes. If I'm not mistaken, you must be the king's second in command. I k*lled you myself in your last life. Ready to die again?
Michael: Bring it on.
(Back at the UFL, Max's shield collapses)
Greer: Well, it's time for this little game to come to an end.
(Back at the husk facility, Courtney swings at some kind of crystal with a pipe. The crystal breaks and the husk facility starts breaking apart)
Nicholas: No!
Courtney: Run!
(Inside the UFL, Greer and the other skins suddenly weaken. They are linked to the husks in some way. Max, Tess, and Liz make a quick escape from the URL. They dash outside and run into Isabel, Maria, and Courtney, who have made a quick exit from the hidden husk facility)
Max: What are you doing here? We gotta go now!
Maria: Way ahead of you, boss. Michael...where's Michael?
(Michael comes out carrying something in his arms. It appears to be Courtney's husk)
Michael: Open the trunk!
Maria: Is that what I think it is?
Michael: Just drive!
(The pod squad with Maria, Liz, and Courtney make their escape. The skins, led by Greer, make their way to the blown up husk cultivating facility)
Greer: Huh...the husks?
Nicholas: Destroyed.
Greer: Well, that's the end of it, then. We're all as good as d*ad.
Nicholas: We may be as good as d*ad, but this is not the end.
(Episode ends with the skins standing solemnly in the blown up Stagecoach Museum) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x06 - Harvest"} | foreverdreaming |
"Wipe Out"
Episode: 7
29th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA07
Written by: Gretchen Berg, Aaron Harberts
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 13, 2000
(Episode begins with a tour bus heading towards Roswell)
(At the Evans household, Diane Evans is trying out her cooking skills)
Diane: It's a frijoles frittata. Martha Stewart serves it to her guests in the Hamptons. So. Um...Phillip! It's gonna get cold! Get in here!
Max: Who needs a nice big glass of juice?
Isabel: I'll get it.
Max: I warned you about getting her a subscription to that magazine. How long are you gonna keep avoiding me?
Isabel: I'm not avoiding you. We destroyed a race of people. I'm just trying to get past it. Juice?
Max: You sure there's nothin' else?
Isabel: I'm sure. Thanks.
(The tour bus keeps heading closer to Roswell)
(Kyle and Sheriff Valenti are fishing. Kyle appears to have caught a fish)
Kyle: Dad. Dad. There.
Sheriff: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Kyle: Ohhh...
Sheriff: Ok. Take it easy. Take...whoa, whoa.
Kyle: It's, like, gonna break this thing.
Sheriff: Just bring it in closer.
Kyle: Ok, I'm tryin'. I'm tryin'. But I need your help. It's like...
Sheriff: All right, a little closer.
Kyle: There we go. There we go. There we go.
(Sheriff Valenti gets the fish off of the hook)
Sheriff: Whoo-hoo! Oh, man! Heh heh heh hoo!
Kyle: Ok, look out.
Sheriff: Whoa! The bagley bang-o-lure does it every time. Here you go. Get a good grip.
Kyle: Whoa!
Sheriff: We'll be eatin' like kings tonight.
Kyle: That's gorgeous. That's beautiful!
Sheriff: Ho! Ha ha!
(Kyle releases the fish back into the stream)
Kyle: Go, buddy.
(Sheriff Valenti is dumbfounded by what Kyle just did. He was looking forward to eating that fish)
Kyle: It's the circle, dad. The circle of life.
(Switch to Liz and Maria in Maria's Jetta)
Liz: Would you step on it, please? My dad is gonna implode if we don't get this thing back by the lunch rush.
Maria: It's your first day back in uniform. We have one break in an 8 hour shift, and the man sends us 30 miles out of town on an errand.
Liz: Well, he let us stay on the clock.
Maria: I'm sorry, Liz. I love your father dearly. I do. But this is totally Kathie Lee.
(We see a billboard sign for the UFO center. It's been defaced, with a glowing green rod stuck through it. A green pulse from the rod is sh*t at Roswell)
(Back in Evans household, Mrs. Evans asks Max about Liz while everyone tries out her cooking)
Diane: Max, how's that cute Liz Parker, honey? She hasn't called here in awhile.
Max: Could I please have some more fritatta?
Diane: Oh, sure, honey! I'm so glad you like it!
(Diane Evans goes to get another serving of fritatta for Max, when the plate that she was carrying drops to the floor. She's disappeared)
Isabel: Mom?
(Liz and Maria, who were outside of Roswell when the green pulse went off, arrive in town to find cars stopped in the middle of the road)
Maria: Why are all these cars stopped?
Liz: What's going on? Maria, w-what's going on--Maria!
(Maria swerves into a baby stroller)
Maria: Oh, God! I didn't see it! It was just...it was just there, and I was going too fast.
(Liz and Maria check the stroller, but there isn't any baby in it. Liz looks around and notices a lawn mower going around in circles without a driver)
Liz: What? What?! Oh, my gosh, look!
Maria: What?!
Liz: Where is everybody?
(The bus arrives in Roswell. Tourists start stepping out, including Nicholas. It's apparent now that the bus is full of skins)
Skin Tour Guide: Welcome to Roswell, New Mexico, folks...UFO capital of the world and last stop on our tour. Everyone, remember their sunscreen while you're out and about.
Skin Tourist: Thank you.
Nicholas: Let's find some aliens.
(Opening credits)
(We see Sheriff Valenti and Kyle driving back to Roswell. They stop at a billboard of the UFO Center that has been defaced)
Sheriff (on radio): Deputy Hanson, we've got some property defacement up by the Chaparral Turnout. I need you to rustle up a ladder and, uh, take care of it.
Sheriff: You could've told me you didn't want to go fishing.
Kyle: No, I did. I wanted to fish. I just...it's just now I enjoy it from a different perspective.
Sheriff: Different seems to be the story of your life these days. The guys don't come over to watch games anymore. You hang wind chimes in my backyard, burn compost sticks in the kitchen.
Sheriff (on radio): Hanson!
Kyle: It's called ylang-ylang, and it opens the mind.
Sheriff: You know what? If you laid off the mumbo jumbo, you might get a date every once in awhile.
Sheriff (on radio): Hanson!
Kyle: Any other areas where'd you like to point out my incompetency, dad, or is the list complete at fishing and dating?
Sheriff (on radio): Hanson, if I get back to the station and find you sipping a damn frappuccino...
Sheriff: My one day off!
(Sheriff gets in his car and starts driving into Roswell)
(Meanwhile, at the Evans household, Isabel has searched upstairs and can't find either of her parents)
Isabel: I can't find dad. Max? Max! Max!
(Max opens the door and enters)
Isabel: Where were you?
Max: The neighbor's house is empty, too.
Isabel: What's happening?
Max: I don't know.
(Isabel grabs the phone and calls someone)
Isabel: Oh, come on. Come on.
(No one answers. Isabel slams the phone)
Isabel: No! Mom and dad are missing! They're gone. Oh, God. Are we the only ones left?
(At Michael's apartment, Courtney has successfully changed into the new husk in the bath tub)
Michael: You put the husk on?
Courtney: The fit is ok.
Michael: Feels like real skin.
Courtney: For now. The husk wasn't fully mature, and I don't know how long it's gonna hold up. You saved my life...by stealing this.
Michael: Well, you saved ours in Copper Summit.
(The telephone rings)
Michael: Here's a towel, and here's a robe.
Michael (on phone): Yeah?
Max: It's me. Meet us at the Crashdown right away.
(Scene shifts to the streets of Roswell. Maria and Liz are investigating)
Maria: Look. Look, look. It's still warm.
Maria/Liz: Ahh!
Maria: Ok, let's just go back to the car, ok?
Liz: Ok!
Maria: Ok.
(Liz and Maria head back to the car. Liz finds a piece of skin on the ground)
Liz: Wait! This is not good.
(At the Crashdown, Max, Michael, Isabel, and Courtney are searching around)
Max: No one's back there, either.
Isabel: Everyone's gone.
Michael: Every human. Whoever's doing this is trying to single us out.
(Liz and Maria arrive at the Crashdown)
Courtney: Well, there goes that theory.
Maria: Michael!
Liz: Max, what...what happened? We...we just got back from Dexter.
Max: Our parents disappeared. It seems like the whole town is gone. All the humans, at least.
Liz: Well, why not us?
Isabel: I'm sorry.
Liz: What is going on here? Everyone's gone? They're gone, like d*ad?
Max: We don't know that.
(Maria calls Alex)
Maria: Pick up the phone, Alex.
Max: All we can do right now is focus on the fact that we have each other.
(Maria finds a CD on the counter)
Maria: Alex's band just b*rned a new CD, and he couldn't wait to show me.
Isabel: First thing we need to do is figure out who did this.
Liz: We know who did this. The skins.
Maria: Yeah. We found one of those snake skin things off of Elm street.
Courtney: Nicholas.
Isabel: This is our fault.
Tess: No. It's her's. You led the skins straight to Roswell, Courtney!
Michael: She's with us, Tess.
Tess: What did your people do to the town?
Courtney: They're not my people.
Max: Stop pointing fingers. We're the ones who destroyed their harvest. They're here to settle the score with all of us.
(Isabel has been looking out the window. He sees people approaching)
Isabel: Into the bathroom. They're coming. Now.
(Nicholas and Ida enter)
Isabel: There's two of them...Nicholas and Ida. Hide us.
Nicholas: Check in the back.
(Nicholas walks to where the bathroom door was)
Maria: Oh, please don't let me die like elvis.
(Nicholas walks over to the wall and taps on the mirror that Tess has created in his mind to replace the bathroom door)
Nicholas: Mom?!
Ida: Don't pick. There's nobody back there or upstairs, sir.
Nicholas: Look in the mirror. You're shedding.
Ida: Ohh...it's the heat. Why couldn't those brats be from Seattle?
Nicholas: Let's get you back to the moisture chamber. This haphazard searching is going nowhere.
Ida: What's plan "B"?
Nicholas: We'll search the town...street by street, building by building, inch by inch. I'm not stopping til we find them.
(Nicholas and Ida leave. Everyone comes out of the bathroom. Tess weakly stumbles to the counter)
Tess: I've never come up against power like that before. It feels like...someone took a sledgehammer to my head.
(Liz leaves through the door to the kitchen. Max notices her and follows)
Max: I'll be right back.
(Max finds Liz in her room)
Liz: My mom always listened to Elvis Costello on laundry day. I am so scared.
Max: What happened to your family...to all the humans...it's our fault.
Liz: We haven't lost them yet. We have to stay strong.
Max: Yeah.
(Max sees Liz's bed and the images from the other night return)
Max: I should get back down.
Isabel: Max!
(Max and Liz rush downstairs. Courtney is on the floor. Her skin is very wrinkled)
Isabel: She just collapsed.
Michael: Max, you gotta help her.
Max: Let's get her upstairs.
(Everyone helps Courtney to the bathroom)
Maria: Um...ok, maybe we should take her clothes off?
Liz: Got her?
(Isabel shuts the door on the guys)
Liz: Ok.
Isabel: What now?
Liz: Um...you know, from what...from what she said, the husk is starving. It's looking at her thighs like they're 2 canned hams.
Courtney: I heard that, you bitch.
(Liz and Tess help Courtney into the tub)
Liz: Uhh!
Isabel: Well...what if we tempt it with food from...from outside the membrane...sort of like an all-you-can-eat buffet or something?
Liz: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's worth a try. We need, like, some vitamins and minerals and...and nutrients.
Maria: Ok. We've got ginko, bee pollen, echinacea, C, D, E, calcium, St. John's wort, and Pamprin. What? I was dating Michael Guerin.
(Outside, Michael and Max are scouting with Liz's telescope)
Max: Main street looks clear. I just wish I knew where they were hiding.
Michael: You think she'll be ok?
Max: I don't know. You and Courtney have gotten close.
Michael: Yeah.
Max: How's Maria feel about that?
Michael: Why do you care? You've never been interested in my social circles before.
Max: You were never sleeping with the enemy before.
Michael: And I'm not now.
Max: Then why was she at your apartment this morning?
Michael: 'Cause she wanted to show me how the husk fit. That's it.
Max: Good.
Michael: Let me take a look.
(Back in Liz's bathroom, Courtney seems to have recovered from the nutrient bath)
Tess: Pretty quick recovery, don't you think? This "I've fallen and can't get up" routine seems a little too convenient. I think it's time for a Q&A. What exactly did the skins do?
Courtney: I don't know.
(Tess pulls the drain plug and the nutrient bath starts to go down the drain)
Courtney: No.
Isabel: What happened to our families?
Courtney: Time exists in multiple subset dimensions on our planet. Nicholas must have a technology to impose one or more of these here.
Isabel: Speak English.
Courtney: It's like being on Pacific and Eastern and Central and Mountain time all at once. Human bodies can't function. They simply disappear.
Liz: To where? Where are our parents, our friends...Alex? Where is everyone? Are they d*ad? Wha...
Maria: Water's getting low.
Courtney: Somewhere! Another dimension, another plane of existence! I don't know where! They seem to have just...shifted.
Maria: Well, can we get 'em back?
Courtney: I don't know. Please.
(Tess replaces the drain plug)
Isabel: Why haven't Liz and Maria disappeared?
Courtney: I don't...I don't know.
Maria: We were out of town this morning. Thank God.
Courtney: It probably bought you some time.
Maria: Ok. So, what did she mean by "buy us some time"?
Liz: Don't worry about it. She said we slipped through a window. We'll be fine.
(A skin sees them and goes after Liz and Maria)
Liz: Oh.
Maria: Run!
Liz: Come on! Go! Go! Go!
(Maria climbs through the counter window. Liz tries to follow but the skin grabs her feet)
Maria: Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Liz: Maria!
(Maria pulls on Liz's hands, while the skin pulls on her feet)
Maria: Go! Go! Go!
Liz: Maria! Aah!
(Sheriff Valenti appears and sh**t the skin in the back)
Skin: Unhh!
Liz: Oh. Careful, Sheriff! He's a skin!
Skin: Yaahh!
(The skin knocks the Sheriff to the ground and makes a quick escape)
Liz: Oh, my...oh...
Kyle: Dad! Dad, you ok? You ok? You all right?
Sheriff: Ohh!
(A few moments later, in the Crashdown)
Max: If g*n don't work, how do we k*ll them?
Courtney: Take the heaviest thing that you can find...and smash this as hard as you can. It breaks the seal in the husk...permanently.
Isabel: What about Nicholas? What can he do?
Courtney: All the things you can...times a thousand. But the thing you should be the most afraid of...is this.
(Courtney points to her head)
Courtney: He can get inside of your head and take anything that he wants. Basically, he rapes you of your memories and your thoughts.
Sheriff: We've gotta get everybody to a safer location.
Max: The UFO center. It's a former b*mb shelter. There are no windows and fewer ways in and out. After we get everyone situated, you, me, Michael, Isabel, and Tess will start picking them off one by one.
Kyle: What about me?
Max: You're not someone I trust. Let's move.
(Everyone is in an alley across from the UFO Center)
Max: There's not much cover, so we should split up into groups.
Sheriff: Good idea.
Max: You ok?
Sheriff: Yeah. Michael, Kyle, take Courtney. You guys go first.
Max: When you're in, we'll send the next bunch.
Sheriff: All right, go.
(Michael, Kyle, and Courtney make it to the UFO Center. Michael opens the door with his power)
Sheriff: I'll take Tess, Liz, and Maria. You two OK bringin' up the rear?
(Max nods)
Sheriff: Ready?
Tess: Ok.
(Sheriff Valenti, Liz, and Tess move)
Max: We're gonna be ok.
Isabel: Max, if I ask you to do something, will you just do it, no questions asked?
(Max nods)
Isabel: You go. Make sure everyone else is safe. I'm gonna find Nicholas.
Max: No.
Isabel: Max...you don't understand. He's after me.
Max: Why, Isabel? What really happened in Arizona? We're stronger together than we are apart.
Isabel: You're right. I'm sorry.
Max: Don't worry about it. I'm gonna make sure it's safe. And then we're up. Ok. The coast is clear. You go ahead, and I'll follow you. Ready?
(Max turns around to find that Isabel has slipped away. He goes to look for her)
(Isabel walks around and finds the tour bus. Someone is playing with a remote-controlled car. As Isabel walks up to the bus, the car runs into her)
Nicholas: Boo.
(Inside the UFO Center)
Michael: I brought you some water if you want. We're gonna pull together the ingredients for another bath. Ok?
Courtney: It won't work. It's...I'm dying.
Michael: No. No. No, that's not an option. Ok, there's...there's gotta be something that we can do. Courtney, what?
Courtney: You won't want to do it.
Michael: Just say it. What is it?
Courtney: The granilith.
(Inside Brody's office)
Kyle: I can't call out of town.
Liz: Kyle. Kyle. Um, do you see this jump on the graph? There was some sort of, like, electric disturbance that leveled off here.
Kyle: When?
Liz: Um...10:30 this morning.
Kyle: Right about when everyone went poof.
Liz: Kyle, if the energy field was turned on...
Kyle: Maybe it can be turned off.
Liz: Exactly. I mean, we just need to find the source. If we can shut it off, maybe we can bring everyone back.
(Sheriff Valenti enters)
Sheriff: Liz...will you excuse us for a second?
Kyle: Don't worry, dad. I'm stayin' out of everyone's way.
Sheriff: Kyle...do you remember what you did the night after your mom left?
Kyle: I lent you Mr. Squishels.
Sheriff: You were worried about me, and you didn't want me sleeping alone, so you did instead. That was a brave thing for a 6-year-old to do, and I was...and I was proud of you.
Kyle: Mm-hmm.
Sheriff: I remember the first time you tied your own shoes...and when we, uh...we took the training wheels off of your bike.
Kyle: Ok, pop, knock it off.
(Sheriff stumbles)
Sheriff: I...
Kyle: You...dad. You all right?
Sheriff: I'm in awe of you every day, son. And I apologize for not recognizing the man that you're becoming...because you're a darn...you're a darn good one.
(Sheriff Valenti disappears in front of Kyle's eyes)
Kyle: No! Dad!
(Max arrives at the UFO Center)
Tess: Did you find her?
Max: Where's Michael?
Tess: He's in the back.
(Maris paces around. She walks by an exhibit with a mannequin in a window. She turns around and walks back and notices the mannequin is missing now. A skin steps out and blasts Maria with an energy blast)
Maria: Tess!
(Tess sneaks behind the skin and kicks its seal self-destruct button)
Tess: They found a way in. We've gotta go.
Max: All right. We'll head for the school. It's our turf. Get your dad.
Kyle: I can't. He disappeared right in front of me.
Liz: You know, the skins' time dimension must be catching up with those of us that are...
Maria: Human. Who's next?
(Kyle sees a UFO Center postcard and recognizes the sign in it. It's the one he and his dad saw earlier that was defaced)
Kyle: That time field is coming from the billboard out by Chaparral Turnout. My dad spotted a green rod stuck through it this morning. We thought it was a prank. I'm heading out there.
Max: No. We stick together.
Kyle: Hey, I've been really nice about following your orders, Senor Presidente, but if I can do something to help bring some people back or ensure that Liz, Maria, and I live to see another day, I'm gonna do it.
Max: Kyle. Look...take Bradford Alley all the way out of town. It's a straight sh*t. You can't get boxed in.
Kyle: Thanks.
Max: Good luck...to all of you.
Kyle: I'll take care of her.
(Kyle leaves and Liz follows him after staring at Max for a brief moment)
Maria: Um...I know how you hate when things get all goopy, so...
Michael: Yeah. So I'll see you soon.
Maria: Yeah.
Michael: No. I will.
(Maria leaves)
Max: Ok. It's the four of us on foot. If we stick to the side streets, we can...
Tess: What's wrong?
Max: Where's Courtney?
(Inside the skins' bus, Isabel is handcuffed to the railing)
Isabel: Uh...
Nicholas: I knew it was only a matter of time before you rejoined our side, Vilandra.
Ida: Tryin' to ambush my baby. I should pull out your filthy eyes and grind 'em into dust.
Isabel: I came to make a deal.
Nicholas: And what could you possibly have to offer us?
Isabel: Me.
Nicholas: You always were a flighty little princess. Jewels before studies. That's our Vilandra. We have you, you beautiful moron.
Isabel: I think you're the one who doesn't understand.
Nicholas: Leave us.
Ida: You can't possibly think that this woman...
Nicholas: Do you really want to finish that sentence? Leave. Now.
Ida: All right.
(Ida leaves)
Nicholas: Go ahead.
Isabel: The last time we were together, you awakened something in me. I remembered things from our past. You and me.
Nicholas: Our forbidden meetings.
Isabel: I came here for you. I know what's hiding behind that husk.
(Nicholas motions with his hand and the handcuffs disappear)
(Isabel acts like she's going to kiss Nicholas, but at the last instant, she pushes him to the ground. She reaches for his fanny pack when Ida comes in and knocks Isabel out)
Isabel: Uhh!
Nicholas: Mom, what are you doing?!
Ida: Saving you, sir!
Nicholas: She was no thr*at! Damn it, now she's no good at all! I'm sick of this!
Ida: What do you want to do now?
Nicholas: k*ll every last one of 'em.
(Liz, Maria, and Kyle are on their way to the billboard)
Maria: If we get out of this...
Kyle: When we get out of this...
Maria: Things are gonna change for me. I'm gonna start spending more time with my mother. I'm gonna...I'm gonna write more to my grandmother. I mean, these are the people who gave me life, you know?
Liz: No! I can't leave it like this!
Maria: Excuse me?
Liz: Max. No, I walked out on him without explaining what happened between you and me.
Maria: Huh?
Liz: I didn't even say good-bye!
Kyle: Look, you've got a job to do. Max has got a job to do. When everybody's done with their job, you can make nice.
Liz: He'll never know!
Kyle: He's Max. He'll always know. Right?
(Liz disappears)
Maria: Liz? Ohhh...
(Maria and Kyle arrives at the billboard)
Maria: Not Liz. I need Liz.
Kyle: Maria, Maria, look, look, look, look. She's coming back. They all are. All right. Now, Liz said something about generators and electric fields.
Maria: So how does electricity work?
Kyle: Why are you lookin' at me? We were both in the same remedial science class for 3 years.
Maria: Basically, we have to...um, blow its fuse, right?
Kyle: That means we mess with the current. Do you have jumper cables?
Maria: Yeah.
(A skin appears)
Kyle: Buddha, forgive me, but I'm gonna kick your ass!
(The skin rushes Kyle and he flips him over. Kyle goes to the car to the get "the club". He knocks the skin with it and then knocks the seal self-destruct button)
Kyle: Maria...
(Kyle disappears)
(Back in town, Nicholas finds Courtney who's lying on the ground)
Nicholas: When my soldiers told me what they had found, I had to see for myself. What's the matter, Courtney? Too weak to run?
Courtney: Leave me alone.
Nicholas: You always were the social butterfly, Courtney. Always the first to make new friends. But what I want to know is...where are yours hiding?
Courtney: I think I see a chest hair, Nicholas. Way to go.
Nicholas: Fine. We'll do this the hard way.
(Nicholas grabs Courtney's head and starts draining her mind)
Courtney: Ohh! Ohhh!
Nicholas: Let's see...you had scrambled eggs for breakfast. Then you slipped into that husk that punk stole from us.
Courtney: No! No.
Nicholas: Boring. Boring. Boring. Aha!
(Nicholas sees an image of Max through his mind drain)
Max: All right, we'll head for the school. It's our turf.
(End flashback)
Nicholas: School? On a Saturday? What a drag.
Courtney: I hope they k*ll you.
Nicholas: You've become awfully chummy with them, haven't you? Courtney? Are you hiding something else? You are. You have a secret. What do you know?
Courtney: Ohhh!
(Nicholas grabs her head again and sees another image)
Michael: If anything happens to me, Max, or Tess, I want you to be able to save yourself. Now, if I tell you where the granilith is, do you swear never to tell anyone?
Courtney: I swear.
(End flashback)
Nicholas: The granilith! That's a bonus! I hope he gave you detailed directions.
(Courtney reaches behind to her back and presses the husk un-sealing button. She disintegrates)
Nicholas: Now, that's a soldier.
(At school, Max asks Michael where Courtney went)
Max: You sure you don't know where Courtney went?
Michael: Your guess is as good as mine.
Tess: I've got one. She and Nicholas are probably laughing at how gullible we are.
Max: Isabel. Isabel.
Nicholas: Ahem!
(Max, Michael, and Tess look around. They're surrounded by skins)
(Back at the billboard, Maria grabs some jumper cables and starts to set them up)
(Max, Isabel, Tess, and Michael are tied up to pillars. Nicholas walks up to Max)
Nicholas: What happened to you, guy? You used to determine the fate of entire armies with the flip of a coin. Luckily for me, you continue to put your faith in the wrong people. Does this scene feel familiar, Vilandra? And your trusted second...the boy who spilled the secret of the granilith to one of our exiled members. Rule number one of w*r: keep your big mouth shut. Courtney knew that. That's why she k*lled herself before I could get its exact location. By the way, love the hair. Hope you win. There's one more thing I need to know before we can all call it a day. Where's the granilith?
Max: I'm not telling you.
Nicholas: Oh...you will.
(Nicholas motions with his hand and Michael, Isabel, and Tess start screaming in pain)
Michael: Aah!
Isabel: Aah!
Tess: Aah!
Max: Wait! I'll take you there! Just you and me. This has nothing to do with them.
Isabel: Max, don't.
Nicholas: This is too easy. In the old days, I would've been no match for you. But...now...
(Nicholas grabs Max's head and starts draining his memory)
Max: Nyggggg...unhh! Ohhh...uhh!
Nicholas: Either way, you're going to die, Max. So why don't you just make this easy on yourself?
Max: Uhhh! Uhhh! Uhhh!
(Max focuses and repels Nicholas' mind drain)
(Back at the billboard)
Maria: Keep it together, De Luca.
(Back at school)
Nicholas: Ready to tell me now?
(Maria hooks the cable clamps to each other and places it on top of the green pulsating tube. She disappears shortly afterward. The cables destroy the tube and Roswell glows green again as the effects of the tube are reversed)
(Tess screams shrilly and then gathers her power. A raging f*re starts to build behind her and she releases it into the group of skins, vaporizing them)
Tess: What...what just happened?
Max: You saved us.
Tess: Ohhh...
Max: Vilandra?
(The pod squad looks around and see the the janitor)
(Back at the Crashdown, all the humans have returned. Alex is eating at the counter)
Alex: Hey, these are freezin'!
Sheriff: Alex.
Alex: Mornin', Sheriff. Uh, skip the pancakes.
Sheriff: Yeah? Hey, kiddo. How's it goin'?
Alex: Good. You?
Sheriff: Good.
Alex: Great.
(At the Evans household, Diane Evans is washing dishes when Isabel rushes in)
Isabel: Mom!
Diane: Ohh! How hard can it be to sit down to one breakfast? But, no...everybody has to go running. Isabel, why can't we just be like a normal family?
(Isabel hugs her tightly)
Diane: Oh! Sweetie, I'm drippin' water all over the floor here.
Isabel: I'll get it later.
(Switch to Liz, Maria, and Kyle by the blown up billboard. They jump around hugging each other)
(Max and Tess are walking through a park, discussing what happened)
Tess: I just wanted to scare them with a mind warp. I thought if they saw f*re...it was awful, Max. I lost control. Tapped into...something completely different.
Max: You think you could do it again?
Tess: I don't want to.
(Suddenly, a little boy who looks a lot like Nicholas bumps into Tess while riding a scooter. The episode ends with Max and Tess staring after the boy as he rides away) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x07 - Wipeout"} | foreverdreaming |
"Meet the Dupes"
Episode: 8
30th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA08
Written by: Gretchen Berg, Aaron Harberts
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 20, 2000
(Episode begins in New York City. We see 4 people who look like the pod squad - except they're wearing punk clothing - come up the stairs from the subway. They pass by a fruit stand. The Max look-a-like causes the stand to fall. As the vendors gather the fruit, the Isabel look-a-like steals money from their cash register. The group of four continue walking down the street)
Punk: Hey, what's up, girl?
Lonnie: What's up, man?
Punk: You look good!
Rath: She knows it. Yo, gimme the rock, G.
(The street punk tosses his basketball to the Michael look-a-like, who keeps it and continues walking down the street)
Punk: Hey, yo! My man! My ball!
Rath: They contacted us again last night. Same invite. We gotta tell 'em something.
Zan: Tell 'em no.
Lonnie: Yo, you sayin' we ain't going to the summit?
Zan: That's what I'm saying.
Rath: Yo, that's messed up, duke. This is the only time we've ever been contacted.
Zan: Whatever. That's it.
Ava: We tell 'em no, they won't ask again.
Zan: Tell 'em hell no.
Rath: What is up with you, man? I'm tired of you. I'll go by myself!
Zan: They don't want the number 2. They want the royal four.
Rath: Why don't we go and see what they gotta say? Why don't we go and get the answers?
Zan: What if it's a setup?
Rath: No, it's not a setup! They need us!
Zan: I'm the man. Don't forget.
Lonnie: Yo. Guys. It's been a mad long day. Let's just chill.
Rath: Yeah. You the man.
(Opening credits)
Teacher: A black hole...that's what's left after a star dies. And that's exactly what happened last week, my friends. The spectacular, stellar, implosion of a red giant, unheard of in the history of astronomy...the first time a post-main sequence star burning in its prime suddenly and without warning violently exploded in a supernova of a hundred million degrees and disappeared, a process that typically takes many thousands of years. What could have accounted for this...remarkable loss?
(Class ends. Liz catches up with Max in the hallway)
Liz: Hey. Kinda weird about that star, huh? Kinda sad. It just doesn't seem that something burning so bright could just...burn out.
Max: But it did.
(Max walks off)
(Back in New York, Rath, Lonnie, and Ava steal a Trans Am. Zan is no longer with them)
Rath: Trans Am, baby. Yeah! Can't wait to get out of the city. Red line says 120, but I bet you she goes 130.
Ava: We were family. The four of us.
Lonnie: Things change.
Rath: Yo, move outta the way!
Ava: He was your brother, Lonnie.
Lonnie: That's right. Zan's my brother. Rath's my lover. But who are you? Why are you still livin' and breathin' and ridin' in this car? Oh, that's right. You're here 'cause i love you. Ain't that sweet?
(At the UFO Center, Brody is working on his computer. Max comes in)
Max: Brody.
Brody: Max. You're here! I've been dying to tell someone about this all day. Look, activity...on the East coast, somewhere near here.
Max: New York?
Brody: Uh-huh. See these blips? They appeared last week. Someone or something is trying to make contact. I'll run a few programs, try to see if any of the ratios match anything from the records, see if we can't find...
(Brody's pager goes off)
Brody: Time for dinner.
Max: I'm not hungry.
Brody: Well, just...whatever. Take a break. Go!
Max: I just got here.
Brody: Go, go, go, go, go!
(At the Crashdown)
Maria: And don't forget the pepperjack. Guy's nuts about his pepperjack.
Michael: Yeah. All right.
Maria: Oh, Max called. He said that he wants to have a meeting with everybody Saturday night.
Michael: No. I can't make that.
Maria: Really?
Michael: Yeah. I got big plans. I can't change 'em.
Maria: That is so sweet.
Michael: Sweet? It's the dirt bike finals.
Maria: Hello? I'm singing on Saturday at the new performance space next to the museum!
Michael: Yeah. But I've heard you sing before. What's the big deal?
(Maria delivers the sandwich to Brody at the UFO Center)
Brody: Hi.
Maria: Galaxy Sub. Hold the mayo.
Brody: Thank you very much.
Maria: Is there pepperjack in that sandwich?
Brody: Uh...no. Doesn't appear to be.
Maria: I just...I can't believe it! I cannot believe it!
Brody: It's ok, really.
Maria: No. No, it's not ok. You ordered pepperjack. You have the right to expect pepperjack. This is...this is unacceptable is what it is!
Brody: It's just cheese.
Maria: No, it's not just cheese.
Brody: But it's a very small thing.
Maria: Yes. It is a very small thing, and that's why a person who can't even get the cheese right does not deserve to live!
Brody: Wow. You take your job very seriously.
Maria: You know what? Here. Take your money back. It's on the house.
Brody: Well, then at least let me give you a tip. Here.
Maria: That's unnecessary. But thank you.
(Maria leaves)
Brody: So, uh, what do you think of our new President?
(Switch to the Trans Am)
Rath: What's your problem, Ava? You ain't said nothin' in 2 days.
Ava: You said you were gonna make him change his mind about going to the summit. You...
Rath: Well, we couldn't, so we went with an alternative.
Ava: He was the leader, Rath!
Rath: Zan coulda ruled a planet, but he didn't wanna deal. We are better off without him.
Ava: And how do we know this...other Zan is gonna be any different?
Lonnie: Max. Max Evans. That's his name. And we don't. We don't. But we'll be smarter about it this time. We'll find another way in.
Rath: They don't wanna meet with just the three of us. They want the king. So all we gotta do is get him to the summit, and we'll marinate on the rest later.
(Max is driving around in his jeep and spots Isabel jogging along the road)
Max: We need to talk.
Isabel: One more mile.
Max: What are you running from?
Isabel: I'm just getting in shape.
Max: Since when? Your only exercise used to be the escalator at the mall.
Isabel: Things change.
Max: Fine. I'll see you later. Vilandra. Are you...Vilandra? Isabel, there's always been a special bond...ever since we came out of the pods. We have to be able to be honest with each other.
Isabel: I'm sorry, Max.
(Isabel goes back to jogging)
(Switch back to the Trans Am, which has entered the Roswell city limits)
Ava: So how come they weren't invited to the summit?
Lonnie: Because we're the only ones that know there's another set of us out there. Besides, they're living out here in the middle of nowhere under a rock.
(Rath speeds by a police car, which happens to be driven by Sheriff Valenti. He flashes his lights and pulls them over)
Rath: Damn! 5-0.
Lonnie: Be cool.
Rath: Don't worry. He's already toast.
(Sheriff Valenti parks behind them and walks up to the front window. Rath gets ready to blast him)
Sheriff: License and registration. Michael? Ha ha ha ha ha! Lord have mercy! What's with the hair and the outfits?
Lonnie: We were actually on our way to a party. It was kinda like a New York theme.
Sheriff: You look like you're from another planet. For once. So where'd you get this car?
Lonnie: We, uh, we borrowed it, Sheriff, um...Valenti.
Sheriff: Hey, listen, you wanna slow it down a little bit. There's no need to attract any additional attention to yourselves, especially with what we've been through lately.
Rath: Word! No, you ain't lyin', sir.
Sheriff: Where's your brother?
Lonnie: We were actually on our way to get him, but we were kinda nervous about goin' by the house, 'cause there was like a weird car parked out front.
Sheriff: A weird car?
Rath: You know...alien hunter.
Lonnie: Yeah. Felt like we were being watched by someone, so, like maybe we could follow you back and you could check it out and make sure it was safe.
Sheriff: All right. I'll tell you what. You follow me. If the coast is clear, I'll just wave ya on in.
Lonnie: Cool. Thanks, Sheriff. You're the freakin' man!
Sheriff: Ha ha ha ha.
(Switch to the Crashdown, where Max is studying, probably thinking about the star that died)
Liz: Um, do you want anything else from the kitchen? 'Cause it's gonna close.
Max: No, thanks.
Liz: I hate this. I hate that we can't even be around each other. Long before we kissed...we were friends. We talked. We laughed. I don't understand why we just can't go back to that.
Max: We can't. I can't. I just...I need time.
Liz: Ok. I understand that. I do. I...I can respect it. But, um...I don't want you to hate me.
(Max leaves)
(Switch to the NY aliens. Sheriff Valenti has led them to the Evans home)
Rath: It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood.
Lonnie: Can you imagine actually living here?
Rath: No! I'd k*ll myself.
Lonnie: Let's get in there and see what makes Mr. Max spin. Stay by the car and keep lookout.
(Ava sits on the hood to keep watch. Rath and Lonnie climb in through Max's window)
Lonnie: I told you. Total cornball.
Rath: Check out this gear. Unbelievable. Where does he shop for stuff like this...freakin' Conway's?
Lonnie: Yo. Out here, they think that's hip.
Rath: Mm-hmm!
Lonnie: Oh, my God! Check this out. He works in the UFO museum.
Rath: No!
Lonnie: Yeah.
Rath: Hoo! Look at this.
Lonnie: Ah. This must be his bitch. Where'd you find this?
Rath: In his sock drawer.
Lonnie: "To Max. I'll always love you. Liz."
Rath: Liz.
Lonnie: She ain't got nothin' goin' on.
Rath: Yeah, well, I'd do her.
Lonnie: Fine. Do her, but don't k*ll her. What we're doin' here is important. Don't screw it up.
(Mr. Evans is looking for Max and knocks on the door. Rath dives to the floor and hides next to the bed)
Philip: Max? Izzie?
Lonnie: Hey...Dad.
Philip: What happened to you? You look like some...rapper on TV. Like that, uh, Queen Latisha.
Lonnie: Queen Latifah.
Philip: Tell me that's not a tattoo.
Lonnie: Chill, Dad. It's henna. It'll wash off. Ha ha ha. Ok. No, no...you know what? I'll tell you the truth. I ain't really Isabel.
Philip: You're not?
Lonnie: No. I'm...Juliet. See, school's doing this kinda rock 'n' roll version of Romeo and Juliet, and, well...
Philip: And my daughter's playing Juliet? That's great, honey! Oh ha ha! The smell of the grease paint. The roar of the crowd. I took theater, too. I was Puck my senior year.
Lonnie: Totally epic, Dad.
Philip: Ha! You certainly got that jive down. No, but I'm glad that you've...taken an interest in something, honey. But, I wish your brother would.
Lonnie: Max? Yeah, he seems so, uh...
Philip: Tense. Now, I'm worried about him. Even the therapy's not helping him...though obviously it's helping you.
Lonnie: Yeah, a shrink. But he is...helping me...to find myself.
Philip: I was thinking...perhaps you and Max could have a joint session to work out whatever's come between you.
Lonnie: I didn't think you'd noticed.
Philip: The doors slamming, the silence at the dinner table? Oh...I've never seen you fight like this.
Lonnie: Well, I'd really like to work it out.
Philip: Promise me you'll consider it? The joint session?
(Lonnie nods)
Philip: Ha. Oh.
(Mr. Evans leaves. Rath comes out from his hiding place)
Lonnie: Yeah, ok. Ha. A shrink? How whack is that, yo?
Rath: So...Max's a head case. We can use that. "Love, Liz". Mmmm.
(Maria goes back to the UFO Center)
Maria: What is this?
Brody: A tip.
Maria: $100 tip? Why?
Brody: Honestly? It's Ben Franklin. I can't stand lookin' at the bloke. Now, you give me 5 Andrew Jacksons any day. Look. I mean, there's a head of hair. It's nice and thick. It's got kinda an Elvis thing going on. The sideburns...
Maria: Clearly, you are a man with too much money. Look, I don't know what you're thinking, Mister, but Maria De Luca, right here...not for sale. I mean, sure...no. No! Not even for that much money.
Brody: Then how 'bout lunch?
Maria: Did you just ask me out on a date?
Brody: No! No, absolutely not.
Maria: Oh...
Brody: But maybe the next time you bring me a sandwich, you could bring one for yourself and not charge me for it even though I have too much money, but pay for it yourself because that would make it officially not a date. And then stay and eat it with me. And keep me company while I'm dateless. What do you think?
Maria: I, um...I think you're a little strange.
Brody: Mm...sometimes, yeah.
(Rath finds Liz at school)
Rath: Whassup? You look tight.
Liz: Excuse me? Did...oh, my God, Michael! What is with your hair?
Rath: I wouldn't mind kickin' it to ya.
Liz: Kickin' it. Yeah.
Rath: Whaddaya say you give me a little somethin' somethin', huh?
Liz: Oh, my God! Get away from me! What is going on with you?
Rath: I just thought since Maxie wasn't around that we could, uh...
Liz: Just stop, ok?
Rath: Ai-ight. You got me. I just...I just wanted to see, you know, if you'd go for it, and you...
Liz: No. It's not gonna happen...ever.
Rath: Of course not.
(Liz starts to leave. Rath grabs her and kisses her on the lips)
Liz: Uhhh. Oh, my God! Eww!
(Liz hurries off to class)
Rath: Epic.
(Saturday, at the UFO Center, Max is explaining what he's been pondering the past few days)
Max: So I think that the signals Brody tracked could be connected to the dying star somehow, and...
Michael: You called us all together here for this emergency meeting to talk about a star that croaked?
Max: I think it could mean something. It's...been haunting me.
Maria: I cancelled my performance, Max.
Max: I think we should be ready for the next challenge.
(Ava, Rath, and Lonnie listen in on the discussion from behind a grating)
Rath: Yo. He's Zan, all right. Look at him.
Lonnie: Zan with an even bigger stick up his ass. No wonder his bitch left him.
Rath: What a bunch of scrubs.
Lonnie: I don't know why they told all those humans about their secrets. It's like a freaking town meeting down there.
(Alex interrupts)
Alex: Hey, sorry, guys. Sorry I'm late.
(Alex breaks out in laughter upon seeing what appears to be Michael, Isabel, and Tess in punk clothes)
Alex: I don't remember it saying anything about costumes on the invitation. Oh. But it's too late for Halloween, and it's too early for Mardi Gras, so what's goin' on? Are we like goin' on the Ricki Lake show or something?
(Alex peers through the grating and notices the real Michael, Isabel, and Tess standing next to Max, Maria, and Liz in the area below. He realizes something is different with the people in front of him)
Alex: Scratch that question. Uh, who needs a holiday to dress up, right? Anyway...
(Alex hurries away and goes down to meet his friends below)
Max: Alex. You're late.
Alex: Uh...um...uh.
(Alex points to the stairs. Rath, Lonnie, and Ava appear at the top of the stairs)
Rath: Hey, yo, up here!
Maria: Now this is freaky.
Max: Who are you?
Lonnie: We're you.
Isabel: I...I don't understand...
Michael: They're shape-shifters.
Lonnie: I know you must be buggin' out right now, 'cause I'd be buggin', too.
Isabel: How could this be?
Michael: 8. 8. There was 8 pods originally.
Rath: You know about that.
Michael: Yeah, I...we just found out recently, so...I just...didn't know you'd look like us.
Max: All we know is that there were 8 originally. We never knew what happened to the other 4.
Lonnie: They went to New York.
Max: New York?
Rath: The Big Apple. Center of the universe. Amazing pizza.
Liz: Um...but there's only 3 of you.
Lonnie: We had a fourth. We just lost him.
Ava: He name was...Zan.
Max: I'm Max.
Isabel: How did you lose your Max?
Rath: He died in a stupid accident. You know, all his powers, all his abilities, and, you know, he died in a street accident. For nothin'. Yo, I'm Rath.
Lonnie: Lonnie.
Isabel: Isabel.
Ava: I'm Ava.
Tess: Tess.
Max: This is Michael, and these are our friends: Alex, Maria, and Liz.
Liz: Uh, we met.
Rath: Sorry about that. I was, uh...I was just trying to get the lay of the land. Something's cookin'...something that's gonna affect all of us. Could we talk in private?
(Rath and Max go to another room to talk)
Rath: You look so much like him.
Max: Zan?
Rath: Yeah. Anyways...we've been contacted. You know, it seems some of peeps from the hood, they wanna hook up with us and have a sit-down.
Max: The...the hood?
Rath: Our star system. Home. You...the ruling families of the 5 planets...they wanna have this summit meeting. I don't know, duke. I mean, I know it's important and it's got something to do with making the peace, but, you know, Zan was gonna go and represent our family and...that's why we need you.
Max: Me?
Rath: Yeah, with Zan d*ad, you're the only kin we got.
Max: Why did they contact you and not us?
Rath: We're the ones they found. They don't know that there's 2 sets.
(Back in the main area of the UFO Center, Michael is asking Lonnie some questions)
Michael: So why are there 2 sets?
Lonnie: Well, they made one batch and didn't get it quite right, so...they made another.
Michael: So you guys are, like, defective.
Lonnie: Actually, you're the defectives. Too human. No offense. When they sent us down here, the w*r was still going on. We were possibly the only chance for survival, so they sent both sets, you know, for insurance.
(Switch back to Max and Rath)
Max: Were you close, you and Zan?
Rath: Oh, yeah, we were closer than brothers, man. I mean...you know, all my life, I looked up to him and I wanted to be like him and...and then just one day, just...bam!
(In the main part of the UFO Center, the others are getting to know each other)
Isabel: So...Lonnie. Is that short for Vilandra?
Lonnie: That's right. You know about Vilandra?
Isabel: I've heard some things.
Lonnie: What do you know?
Isabel: What do you know?
Lonnie: She betrayed her family...brought down the whole house of cards...got everyone k*lled. Sound familiar? It's been hard keeping it to myself all these years. You have no idea.
Isabel: Yes, I do.
Lonnie: You haven't told Max? But you seem so close.
Isabel: I...I wanted to, but...but I didn't even want to believe it myself, and...the thought of telling him...
Lonnie: It's ok. It's ok. It'll be our little secret.
Alex: Ladies, uh...frosty beverage?
Lonnie: No 3 ways tonight, opie. Maybe later.
(Back in the other room, Max and Rath continue their private discussion)
Max: I don't even know what the w*r's about.
Rath: We know it's about us...the original royal four. Some kind of revolution happened, and they were all k*lled and sent to earth to be reborn. Ever since then, the hood's been a w*r zone. And now they want peace. I know you're not Zan, and I know it's kinda screwed to lay all this stuff on you, but this meant a lot to him. He's our peace. He's our chance to do something with this life. This is it.
Max: I'm not Zan.
Rath: Don't worry. I mean, I'll be right there with you. But without you...there is no summit and there is no peace. Millions of lives hang in the balance, Max. So you...you gotta step up.
(Max discusses what's going on with Isabel, Michael, and Tess)
Max: Well...here we are.
Isabel: And there we are.
Michael: I thought I'd seen everything.
Max: They want me to go to New York to a...a summit meeting.
Michael: What, just you? We weren't invited?
Max: I already told them no.
(Rath and Lonnie are discussing how things are turning out)
Rath: Think it's gonna take some work. He's got that same brick head as Zan.
Lonnie: We don't got a lotta time.
Rath: Back off. I'm on it.
Lonnie: Like you were on Zan? Do not screw this up, Rath. He goes to the summit, or we are stuck on this wretched planet for the rest of our lives.
(In another room in the UFO Center, Liz and Maria are having a discussion)
Maria: Ok. So duplicate Michael kissed you, and you decided not to tell me this very pertinent fact?
Liz: No, I wanted to tell you, I just...I couldn't...
Maria: But you thought, hey, it's just Michael slipping me the tongue. There's nothing unusual about that...
Liz: Maria, it's not Michael.
Maria: But you didn't know that then, Liz!
Liz: Can't you get over it? I'm sorry. Look, can I just...can I just talk to you for one second?
(Maria nods)
Liz: Ok. This thing kind of happened with Kyle, but it didn't really happen, and I can't tell Max what I didn't do. But I can't tell you what I didn't do either, so don't ask me to explain it, ok? But...the point is, I just feel really stupid being here.
Maria: Do you realize that what you just said made absolutely no sense?
Alex: Hey, how long have I been asleep?
(The sound of someone opening the front door is heard)
Max: It's 7:30.
Tess: In the morning?
Max: I-it's just my boss. Hide.
(Brody enters the UFO Center to find everywhere inside)
Brody: What the hell is this?
Max: Morning.
Brody: Wha? Is there a party going on? Funny I wasn't invited, seeing how it's my building. And who are you?
Michael: Uh, Brody, this is my, uh, twin brother Bob.
Brody: I didn't know you had a brother.
Rath: I live in New York.
Brody: Well, that explains the hair. Now who can explain what you're all doing here?
(Maria saves the day by asking Brody to breakfast)
Maria: Hi.
Brody: Hi!
Maria: Um...you know how you asked about lunch?
Brody: Uh-huh.
Maria: Well, how do you feel about having a little breakfast?
Brody: Stay as long as you like.
(Brody and Maria leave)
Rath: You want me to k*ll him for you?
Michael: I'll get back to you on that.
(At the Crashdown, Brody and Maria are having breakfast together)
Brody: You believe in God?
Maria: Isn't it a little early for that conversation?
Brody: Yeah, you're right.
Maria: Ok. Fine. Fine. Um...it's a definite maybe. You?
Brody: I used to. Maybe I still do. There are just so many things that make me wonder.
Maria: Like...
Brody: Do you believe in aliens?
Maria: Why not? I'm dating one. I'm kidding. Of course. Heh.
Brody: You see, I'm not. I had an experience once...
Maria: Oh, right. Your abduction!
Brody: How do you know? Oh, did Max say something?
Maria: Oh, no. No. I just...I kinda looked into your background. You know, good-looking...multi-millionaire...buys UFO Center. Kind of stirs my curiosity. So...I did an internet search and, I...
Brody: And found out I'm a whacko.
Maria: Ha ha ha.
Brody: I've got a feeling it's about to happen again.
Maria: Why?
Brody: Well, just things...missing moments of time, bizarre dreams I can't remember in the morning. It all reminds me of the last time. So, if I...suddenly disappear for a couple of days, it's nothing personal. I've just been abducted.
Maria: Ok.
Brody: Ok? Just like that? No "I'm sure it won't happen again, Brody." "It's all in your head, Brody."
Maria: No, no, it's just that if there's one thing that living in Roswell's taught me is that anything can happen.
(The New York aliens are talking things over)
Ava: He'll never change his mind.
Lonnie: I don't care. He's coming to New York one way or another.
Ava: What is that supposed to mean?
Lonnie: You really wanna know?
Ava: I don't want to be a part of this.
Rath: That chick is turning into a real problem.
Lonnie: Don't worry. Max is coming with us. I guarantee it.
(Lonnie goes to visit Max at the Evans home)
Max: What are you doing here?
Lonnie: I had to see you.
Max: It's dangerous.
Lonnie: I had to get something out, something I never got to say to Zan, and now it's too late, and I was thinking about how maybe if I tell you, I can get it outta my head, you know?
Max: What is it?
Lonnie: I wanted to apologize.
Max: For what?
Lonnie: For betraying you. Max, have you ever been so crazy in love that you'd just do about anything? Well, back on our planet, Vilandra...me...Isabel...this person we used to be...we had it bad for a guy named Kivar. We sold you out, man. We're the ones with blood on our hands. We're the ones that got everybody k*lled. Vilandra was the, uh...the Benedict Arnold.
Max: But you're not Vilandra. And neither is Isabel.
Lonnie: Not technically, no. But she's like this...demon I carry around inside of me. We both do, Isabel and I. She told me so that night we met.
Max: Isabel would never betray me.
Lonnie: Course not. Just like I would have never shafted Zan. I'm glad she's come clean with you about this. You're lucky to have a sister you're so tight with, you know? I wish Zan and I had been that tight.
(We see Isabel walking down an alley. Max has been waiting and confronts her)
Max: You lied to me about Vilandra.
Isabel: I don't know what you're...
Max: Shut up! She betrayed me...and Michael and Tess and our mother...our whole planet?
Isabel: Who told you this? Did she tell you this?
Max: She cared enough to apologize to me. I had to hear it from a stranger! And yet, my own sister...
Isabel: All right, Max. Fine. Fine. Now you know. I was sick of keeping it a secret, sick of worrying about disappointing you...the great king.
Max: I trusted you.
Isabel: I didn't do anything! I didn't do anything, and I'm not gonna stand here and be accused of something someone else did in another lifetime, something completely irrelevant!
Max: If it's so irrelevant, then why didn't you tell me?
Isabel: Because I have my own life, and I can't live it when I'm busy trying to prove myself to you all the time, trying to prove I won't betray you! It is exhausting living with that!
Max: I never asked you to prove yourself.
Isabel: Yes, you did. You treat everybody like they're your property. I don't belong to you, Max. I never did.
Max: I feel like I don't even know you.
Isabel: How could you? All you care about is yourself. And Liz Parker, of course. Maybe you're finally getting what you deserve...finally looking in the mirror and seeing what you really are, and you are no king! You are a self-centered, self-indulgent little boy!
(Michael comes along and intervenes)
Michael: Hey, what are you doing?
Max: I'm going to New York.
Michael: That is an amazingly bad idea, Max.
Max: If you think it's bad, Michael, then I know it's the right thing to do.
Michael: Fine. Fine! Go be with them!
(Max leaves)
Isabel: I don't know what happened. He just went crazy on me.
Michael: Don't worry. It'll be ok.
Isabel: I know.
(We see now that Rath and Lonnie were impersonating Michael and Isabel to manipulate Max)
Rath: Start spreadin' the news.
Lonnie: We're leavin' today. Let's get the hell outta these clothes.
Rath: Word.
(Max visits Liz before taking off for New York)
Liz: Hi.
Max: You said...you wanted to be friends...and I thought about it. And...I realized that...that I can't be friends with you because...I'm still hanging on...to you. To what we had. So...I decided to make a clean break. Here.
(Max hands Liz a pocket Kn*fe)
Liz: Max, this is yours. I gave it to you last Christmas.
Max: I'm giving it back. I'm...I'm going to New York with Rath and Lonnie and...and Tess...to the summit.
Liz: Are you gonna come back?
Max: I don't know. I can't think that far ahead.
Liz: Wait, um, Max...um...when...when you're at the summit, the granilith, ok? It's powerful, and it could be really dangerous if the wrong people get their hands on it.
Max: What are you talking about? How do you know anything about the granilith?
Liz: Oh...I can't tell you. But I just...I know, and...please, Max. You have to trust me.
Max: I guess that's the problem, Liz.
(Max leaves. He and Tess meet up with Ava, Rath, and Lonnie. Ava has a flashback to when Zan died. We see Rath pushing Zan into the street in the path of an oncoming truck)
Ava: Too tight. Looks like there's no room for me. Just as well.
Rath: What you trippin' about?
Ava: I ain't goin'.
Rath: Don't be crazy. What are you gonna do, stay in the desert? Yo...just get in the car. Hey, I said get in, or I'll...
Ava: k*ll me? What, you gonna k*ll me?
Max: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are we doin' here?
Rath: Wha? Ha ha. You think I was gonna k*ll her? You wanna stay? Then you can stay. It's not a problem. Let's, uh...let's go to New York.
(Ava leaves. The episode ends with Max, Tess, Rath, and Lonnie getting into the car and starting the drive to New York) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x08 - Meet the Dupes"} | foreverdreaming |
"Max in the City"
Episode: 9
31st Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA09
Written by: Ronald D Moore
Original Air Date: Wednesday November 27, 2000
(Episode begins with a sh*t of Earth from space. Gradually, we zoom in on New York City. We see Max and Tess in an elevator on the way to the top of the Empire State Building)
Max: This was a mistake.
Tess: You've been looking forward to it all day.
Max: I mean this whole thing. Coming here. The city. Rath. Lonnie. It's a mistake.
Tess: Max...
Max: What do I know about w*r and peace and politics? I'm gonna blow it. I'm gonna sit down at this meeting and I'm gonna meet these people, and they're gonna look at me and they're gonna see this kid from New Mexico who hasn't got a clue...is this car slowing down? Are we slowing down?
Tess: Relax, relax. We're almost there.
(The elevator arrives at the top)
Tess: This is where you belong, Max...up here with the world at your feet. Like a king.
Max: I'm the king of the world.
Tess: Yes, you are...just...not of this one.
(Scene switches to the streets of New York. Roth and Lonnie walk through a restaurant)
Roth: Ooh! Yo, pastrami.
Lonnie: Yo, when he gets here...if he gets here...we're puttin' him in his place, 'cause I'm sick of gettin' attitude from him.
Roth: Mayo! Who puts mayo on pastrami? Hey, you! What kinda sick mother puts mayo on pastrami, huh? I oughta bust your head open for...
Lonnie: Drop it! He's here.
(Nicholas walks up the stairs from a subway station. He's holding a map)
Lonnie: Took you long enough. Where the hell have you been?
Nicholas: God, I hate this town.
(Opening credits)
Nicholas: So where are they?
Lonnie: They're doing the tourist thing...Empire State building, Statue of Liberty.
Nicholas: You let them wander around this open sewer alone?
Lonnie: Yo, even Max Evans can find his way from the Empire State...it's 3 blocks.
Nicholas: Better hope you're right. Without Max, no one at the summit's gonna give you two the time of day.
Rath: We're two of the royal four.
Nicholas: Royal rejects is more like it.
Rath: Hey, yo, get this straight. We are the originals. They are the rejects.
Nicholas: Ha. Uh, gee...they were carefully hidden away in Roswell and got custody of the granilith. You were dumped in the sewer. Figure that out.
Lonnie: Yo, you ain't getting the granilith without us, so just remember that.
Nicholas: You're not getting home unless I get the granilith. Remember that.
Lonnie: Here they come. Go.
(Nicholas walks back into the subway station, cursing about New York)
Nicholas: Oh, I hate this stupid, rat-infested, urine-soaked, butt-ugly town!
(Max and Tess wave from across the street)
Lonnie: Here come the losers!
(Max and Tess meet up with Rath and Lonnie)
Lonnie: Hey. So enough sight-seeing for one day?
Max: There's a lot more to see.
Tess: I could use a rest.
Lonnie: Wanna see our crib?
Max: Sure.
(Rath and Lonnie lead Max and Tess into a subway station)
Max: Rath? Lonnie?
(After walking through several tunnels, they arrive at Rath and Lonnie's lair. Lonnie relaxes on a couch, while Rath gets a hockey stick and starts sh**ting some balls)
Lonnie: Not quite Mayberry, is it?
Max: So this was where you were born?
Lonnie: Day one. Wake up...break through the membranes, step out of the pods into a brave new world of the sewers.
Tess: And...and now you live here?
Rath: Beats livin' in Brooklyn.
Tess: S-so, why did your protector bring your pods to New York? And why put you in the sewers?
Lonnie: What is up with you and all these questions about the shapeshifter?
Tess: Our protector raised me. His name was Nasedo, and we were very close.
Rath: Yeah? How close was that?
Max: You wanna watch where you're hitting those things?
Rath: Do I?
Max: I wanna talk about the summit. When, where, what kind of...
Rath: Chill, duke. All in good time.
Max: The time is now.
(Rath sh**t a ball at Max, who catches it bare-handed)
Rath: You flexin' on me?
Lonnie: Boys...don't make me get off this couch.
(Rath puts the hockey stick away and sits down next to Lonnie on the couch. Max and Tess also sit down)
Lonnie: You are so Zan. You two done the deed yet? Made the beast with two backs? You are in for a treat.
Rath: Alien sex, baby. Accept no imitations. Awoo! Ooh!
Max: The summit.
Lonnie: No summit until you meet the emissary. You gotta pass the test first.
Tess: Test?
Lonnie: Not you. Just him. They wanna make sure you're the real king before they sit down, but don't worry, you'll pass.
Max: So when do I meet with the...
Lonnie: Enough! Enough. We'll get you to the church on time.
(Lonnie and Rath start making out, much to Tess and Max's discomfort)
(Back in Roswell, Michael and Isabel are at the Crashdown talking about Max)
Isabel: 2 days, and not a word.
Michael: Your parents asking questions?
Isabel: They think he's gone camping again.
Michael: They gotta think he's turned into some kinda tree hugger.
Isabel: They think he doesn't wanna spend Thanksgiving with his family. He could have at least said goodbye.
Michael: You know Max. It's got nothing to do with you. It's probably got something to do with, uh...
Liz (to customer): Bye.
Isabel: Can we?
Michael: Yeah. Yeah.
Michael (to Maria): Hey, we're, uh, outta here.
Maria: Thanks for helping. So sweet of you.
(Maria walks over to Liz)
Maria: Girlfriend, we need to have a talk. You got a serious problem.
Liz: What?
Maria: A...very vicious rumor is going around about you in school, and I shouldn't make a bigger deal about it than it is, because I know we can take care of it, but it's just that, like, everybody's talking about it...
Liz: Maria.
Maria: Ok. The word is that you and Kyle slept together. I know. It's so humiliating. I know. I just can't imagine who made it up.
Liz: Um...it's true.
Maria: What? No, Liz, the rumor is that you and Kyle Valenti slept together as in, like, sexually.
Liz: I know. And...it's true.
Maria: Huh. Ok, you lost your virginity to Kyle. I mean, that is a revelation, and I don't know what that's about, but why didn't you tell me?
Liz: I was embarrassed.
Maria: That is such a completely unacceptable answer for you to give to me, your best friend in the entire world...
Liz: I didn't want to talk about it.
Maria: Why? Why didn't you want to talk about it? Why, did he hurt you or something? Was this like a date r*pe?
Liz: No! No, it was nothing like that, ok? I was just upset about Max, and Kyle was there for me, and we were close at one point, and one thing just led to another, and we...
Maria: And you didn't tell me.
(Liz takes some garbage outside and sees Ava sleeping in the alley)
Ava: Yo! You mind not banging that thing around?
Liz: Tess? Oh, no, no, I mean, um...
Ava: Ava.
Liz: Yes, Ava! That's right. I'm sorry. What...what are you doing here?
Ava: Trying to get some sleep.
Liz: In the alley?
(Back in New York, Max meets with the emissary)
Rath: You got it together?
(Rath leads Max to the emissary. The emissary walks behind Max and places his hand behind Max's head. A light bursts forth from the emissary's head, sh**ting through Max's head, and projecting an image in front of Max. 5 lights circle around and gradually form the V-shape, which is the royal seal)
Emissary: Sign here...your Highness.
(The emissary gives Max a receipt and leaves)
Rath: So you...you really are the king.
Max: It's a...it's a time card. The emissary works for a...a temp agency?
Rath: Duke, the emissary never left his crib. That body that walked outta here works for a temp agency.
Max: What?
Rath: It's like a vessel, you know? A puppet. The alien emissary far away on another planet. Human knobhead here on this planet. Emissary reaches out with his mind, takes control of the human. Human walks around like a puppet doing whatever the emissary wants him to do.
Max: Like he's...like he's possessed.
Rath: Ha. Yeah, possession. Doin' the Linda Blair, you know? Human dude never knows what happened to him. He thinks he's been frickin' abducted. Heh.
Max: I still don't understand why...
Rath: Lonnie will give you the 4-1-1 later. Now you should be celebrating.
Max: I should?
Rath: You passed, man. You are the frickin' king! Which means you earned yourself a slice of the best pizza in New York. And I'm buyin'.
(3am in Roswell. Liz calls Maria on the phone)
Maria: Hello?
Liz: Look, we need to talk in person.
Maria: It's 3:00 in the morning.
Liz: Please, Maria.
Maria: Where?
Liz: The place by the thing that we went that time with what's-her-name.
Maria: I'm there. Bye.
(Liz and Maria meet at a fountain)
Liz: I'm sorry. I know this all sounds really crazy...
Maria: No, please. Crazy is sleeping with Kyle Valenti, so, please get to that part.
Liz: Ok. So, um...right, Max...Future Max...tells me that the reason that the world comes to an end is because...get this...he and Tess weren't together when their enemies came to Earth. And the reason they weren't together was because Max and I got married.
Maria: Oh.
Liz: I know it's really confusing.
Maria: No, no, no. I'm with you. Keep going.
Liz: Future Max tells me that I have to find a way to get present day Max to fall out of love with me.
Maria: So you slept with Kyle.
Liz: No, no. Not really. I arranged it so Max saw Kyle and I in bed together, but nothing really happened.
Maria: So Max thinks that you and Kyle...
Liz: I'm sorry I lied to you.
Maria: No. I'm so sorry that I got so mad. I should have known that it was, you know, an alien thing. Are you still a virgin?
Liz: Yeah.
Maria: Ok.
Liz: Ok.
Maria: Yeah. So am I!
Liz: Vigrins!
(The next day, Maria goes to the UFO Center to deliver Brody's usual sandwich)
Maria: Brody. You didn't call for your order, so brought you one anyway. I brought you a Galaxy Sub, hold the mayo, and extra pepperjack! Oh, Mr. Davis! Hello? Brody!
(In New York, we see Brody get out of a taxi)
(Back at Rath and Lonnie's lair)
Max: So this is the royal seal?
Rath: You got it. And these are the 5 worlds of our star system.
Max: And that one...that's home? Home.
Rath: Bingo. That's how the emissary knew you were the real deal. You got the royal seal stenciled on your brain.
Max: And these other 4 worlds...they'll all be sending a representative to the summit?
Rath: Well, they'll be doing the possession thing again, you know, like the emissary.
Tess: Why don't they...come in person?
Rath: You see, little girl, space is what we call very, very big. You know, it's not easy to get places. People just don't zip around the galaxy like on Star Trek.
Lonnie: No one's coming back here again in person unless there's a good reason.
Rath: Like to bring us home.
Tess: We can go home?
Rath: Yeah, we can. If the man here cuts a deal at the summit.
Max: What kind of a deal?
Lonnie: A deal to bring peace back to our world.
Rath: And in our world...blood on the streets, baby. That dude Kivar that took your throne...people hate his ass!
Lonnie: Our mother sent our pods to earth for safekeeping, hoping we'd come back one day.
Rath: And that day is now. The word is that Kivar's desperate, and he'll do anything to end the fighting.
Lonnie: Including let us come back home.
Max: Home. I never thought...not this soon. What about Michael and Isabel?
Tess: And Ava.
Lonnie: They're expecting the royal four, not the royal seven.
Max: I am not leaving Michael and Isabel behind.
Lonnie: Look, Max...Max, they...they seem so happy...in that cute little town. Chill, chill. It'll all be ok. You'll see. It'll all fall our way...unless they bring up the granilith again.
Max: The granilith?
Rath: Yeah, yeah. It's this stupid religious thing.
Lonnie: The protector told us it's like the holy grail, some piece of junk people on our planet worship for some reason. You ever heard of it?
Max: No.
Lonnie: No.
Rath: That's too bad.
Lonnie: Yeah. Would have been a nice bargaining chip if you had.
Max: I haven't.
Lonnie: No problem. Probably won't even bring it up anyway.
(Back in Roswell, Ava has a nightmare. Liz rushes down to comfort her)
Ava: Aah!
Liz: Are you ok?
Ava: I...I saw it...and I watched it happen again.
Liz: What, what?
Ava: Zan...the accident. The way his body just lay there in the street!
Liz: Oh, shh. It's ok. It's just a dream. It was just a dream, a bad dream.
Ava: It's all my fault! I should have stopped it. I could have stopped it! I should have known. I should have known.
Liz: Known what? Known what?
(Liz and Ava sit down at a counter and talk)
Ava: I...can't talk about it. Zan was stubborn...strong. He put up a wall, and you just couldn't get through. He always tried to do everything right, to be perfect. He was like that, right up until...
Liz: You must have liked him a lot.
Ava: Yeah. I'm not sure he ever really loved me back, though.
Liz: Why?
Ava: Just a feeling. I always felt like he was waiting for someone else to walk into his life. So what about you? How'd you find out about Max? He just hauled off and dropped the b*mb one day?
Liz: No. He was right over there. I was working, and, uh...he was sitting at that booth. And, um, someone brought in a g*n, and it kinda went off, and I got sh*t. I was dying, but Max brought me back.
Ava: He brought you back.
Liz: Yeah.
(Max calls home)
Isabel: Hello?
Max: Hey, it's me.
Isabel: Max. Where are you? Are you ok?
Max: Yeah. I'm fine. I'm still in New York. I just...I wanted to call and see how everything was going. So how...how was Thanksgiving?
Isabel: It was great. Mom cried all the way from the cranberry sauce to the peach cobbler. So did I.
Max: Isabel, how would you feel...about going home?
Isabel: When you say home...
Max: I mean...home.
Isabel: Is that even possible?
Max: If it is, do you wanna go or not?
Isabel: I don't know. I mean...leaving mom and dad and Roswell and...for another planet, it just...it's...it seems crazy. It sounds crazy.
Max: Well, it isn't. And I need an answer. From you and Michael both.
Isabel: What? You can't...you can't do this! You can't just drop this on me all of a sudden. I mean, God, you just leave without even saying goodbye with those people without even discussing it with Michael and I, and now you expect me...
Max: I guess I'm just being a self-indulgent little boy again.
Isabel: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Max: I don't want to rehash the entire thing, Vilandra.
Isabel: That's not fair.
Max: Neither was letting me hear the real story from Lonnie.
Isabel: I'm sorry, Max.
Max: It's a little late for apologies, don't you think? You should have said that the first time I confronted you.
Isabel: The first what? What are you talking about?
Max: I'll call you when the summit's over.
(Isabel realizes that Lonnie and Rath shifted into herself and Michael to trick Max. She confronts Ava and demands to know why)
Isabel: Why did Lonnie impersonate me?
Ava: I don't know.
Isabel: Why don't I believe you?
Ava: That's your problem.
(Michael stretches out his hand and blows up one of the decorations in the Crashdown)
Michael: Don't piss us off.
Isabel: Fine! We'll do this the hard way.
Liz: Ok, ok, wait, wait. It's ok.
(Liz intervenes and leads Ava away from Isabel and Michael)
Liz: Come on, Ava. Ok, ok, Ava...you told me that you had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone. But, um...if Max is in danger, you have to tell us. You lost Zan. Please don't let me lose Max. I love him, you know, and I love him just as much as you did Zan. Please, Ava...don't let me lose him. Please.
Ava: Lonnie and Rath...k*lled Zan. And they're probably gonna k*ll Max.
(Back in New York, Rath and Lonnie are giving Max some last minute advice as they're heading to the summit)
Rath: Now, you get in trouble, you look to us, and we'll help you out.
Tess: I think he'll handle it.
Rath: Hey, is someone talkin' to you, ret*rd?
Max: All right, that's it. Let's get something clear right here, right now. I'm the one who passed the emissary's test. And that means from now on, I'm the one in charge here.
Lonnie: Understood, duke. You're the king.
Max: And for your information, her name...is Tess.
Lonnie: Rath, take Tess and go inside. I wanna talk to Max for a minute.
Rath: Come on.
(Rath leaves with Tess)
Lonnie: I'm proud of you, Max. You're everything I loved about Zan and more. You're the brother I never knew.
(Max enters the room where the summit will take place. Among the other representatives there is Brody Davis)
Max: Brody?
Larek: Actually, my name is Larek. Are you Zan?
Max: They tell me that used to be my name. But my name is Max. Max Evans.
Kathana: If he doesn't even know who he is, how can he sit in conference with us?
Larek: He sits with us because the emissary certified him. Kathana, Sero, Hanar, and I will represent each of our worlds. Max will speak for his.
Nicholas: Actually, Kivar speaks for his world. And I speak for Kivar. Max. Nice to see your genocidal girlfriend again. k*lled anyone today?
Tess: Day's not over.
Nicholas: What a charmer.
Larek: Can we begin?
Lonnie: You know him?
Max: Long story. He was in Roswell.
Rath: Be careful.
Max: That much I know.
(Back at the Crashdown)
Isabel: We've got to find a way to warn Max. He's in the middle of the summit right now.
Michael: Where's the summit being held?
Ava: Some building downtown.
Michael: You gotta do better than that.
Ava: I don't know anything more.
Liz: Hey, Isabel, um...can't you dreamwalk Max? You know, um...put a warning in his mind. You've done it before, you know, when he was in the white room.
Isabel: That was different. He was drugged. I was only a few miles away. He's across the country now.
Michael: I think we're out of alternatives.
(Back at the summit)
Larek: We're here in the spirit of reconciliation. We're not here to rehash the past, point fingers, and assign blame.
Hanar: Can we get to it? We're here to end 50 years of misery and suffering among our worlds. Kathana att*cks Kivar. Kivar att*cks Sero. Sero att*cks me. The situation is intolerable!
Sero: Agreed! We have to find a solution.
Nicholas: And Kivar has a solution. Kivar will abdicate the throne and allow the royal four to return home under the following conditions: 1) Max becomes king only in name. All real power and government remains in Kivar's hands, 2) Max calls upon his followers to lay down their w*apon and support the new government, and 3) Most importantly...Max returns the granilith to us.
Kathana: The granilith?
Nicholas: No, it's no longer on our world. Yes, we've known about it for a long time. No, Kivar decided he didn't need to tell you. And, yes, we know where it is. It's with Max.
Larek: Is this true, Max?
Max: It's here.
Lonnie: What?
Nicholas: So there you have it. Max comes home with the granilith. All is forgiven. Do we have a deal?
Max: I...need to think about this.
Larek: I'd be surprised if you didn't. But be quick about it. Holding onto these bodies isn't easy. In fact, it's chewing up huge amounts of our resources. 20 minutes, Max...then I need an answer.
Max: You'll have it.
(Max and Tess leave to think about the offer)
Max: Cut a deal with Nicholas? I don't trust him any more than I can throw him.
Tess: You could throw him pretty far.
Max: Then there's Lonnie and Rath. It's hard to believe they have the same DNA of Michael and Isabel.
Tess: For what it's worth...I don't trust them.
Max: And then there's this whole thing about the granilith.
Tess: Why did you lie to Lonnie and Rath about the granilith, anyway?
Max: There was something Liz said...just before we left. She told me the granilith could be dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands.
Tess: How does she know that?
Max: She wouldn't say.
Tess: But she's never even seen the granilith.
Max: I know. I know. But I just keep thinking about it...the way she said it...she seemed so sure. I just don't know what to do.
Tess: Whatever you do...it'll be the right choice. I'm sure of it.
Max: Why?
Tess: Because despite whatever Nicholas said about you in there, I know that you were a great man in that other life. A great king. I know it in my bones.
Max: All you've ever done...is trust me, been there for me whenever I needed you. I've never done anything to deserve that kind of loyalty.
Tess: I think in that other life...you must have been one great husband.
(Nicholas is also taking a break from the summit. Lonnie secretly meets with him)
Nicholas: God, I hate this town. Hello?
Lonnie: Yo.
Nicholas: Yo yourself.
Lonnie: Miss me?
Nicholas: Always. Can't wait to see more of you.
Lonnie: Well, that'll have to wait until we get home.
Nicholas: Let's be clear, Lonnie. You don't get home unless I get the granilith.
Lonnie: Let me be clear, Nicholas. I don't give a damn whether or not you get the granilith. I'm going home.
Nicholas: Big talk for a woman with no cards to play.
Lonnie: I got cards. I just haven't shown them to you yet. You know, I'm not like the others. I remember our world. I remember Kivar. And I remember what it was like to be Vilandra. I want that life, and I'll do what I have to to get back. Be on my side, and you'll benefit. Be against me, and...well, it would be a mad, crazy idea to be against me. Don't worry about Max. He's a cornball. He'll go for the deal. He'll go for the deal because millions of lives hang in the balance. Besides, he wants to go home and give mommy a kiss and get fitted for his crown.
Nicholas: He won't live long enough to wear it. Kivar wants him d*ad.
Lonnie: Well, I'd have to be a special kind of stupid not to have figured that out.
Nicholas: If he takes the deal, there'll be a nice public execution to attend. If he doesn't take the deal, Kivar still wants him d*ad.
Lonnie: I can arrange that. What's in it for me?
Nicholas: Passage home. But just you. The freak with the mohawk stays here.
Lonnie: Yeah, I can live with that. See you at the summit.
Nicholas: What a woman.
(Back at the Crashdown)
Isabel: Damn it! It's not working. I can't reach him.
Michael: Yeah, but you gotta try again.
Isabel: Won't do any good. He's not hearing me.
Liz: Ok, so um, what's plan "B"?
Isabel: There isn't one.
Ava: Liz can do it.
Isabel: What?
Liz: What are you talking about?
Ava: Max brought you back from the d*ad. You've been changed.
Liz: What do you mean by changed?
Ava: Look, there ain't enough time to explain. You just gotta trust me here. If Max brought you back, then...you're different now.
(Back at the summit)
Lonnie: Can I have a minute with my brother? You lied to me. I don't like it. But there it is. But what's about to go down in there is a helluva lot bigger than you and I, Max. Millions of lives hang in the balance. Millions of people may die if we don't stop this fighting. So this is not about whether you and I go home. We are nothing in the scheme of things. This is about the greater good. After you, your Highness.
(Back at the Crashdown)
Isabel: Liz...take my hand.
Liz: I don't know why, but I'm really scared to do this. You know, if you can't contact him, what makes you think I can?
Isabel: I know my brother, and I know that if there is one voice he will hear no matter where he is, no matter what he's doing, it's yours. Take my hand, Liz.
(Back at the summit)
Larek: Well, Max, have you made your decision?
Max: Yes, I have. And the answer is no. I will not give up the granilith to you. Not to you, not to Kivar, not to anyone. It was entrusted to me.
Nicholas: You're all witnesses. Kivar tried to be reasonable, tried to extend a hand of peace...and had it slapped away. Our business is at an end here. Our offers are withdrawn.
Kathana: You made a lot of enemies here today.
Nicholas: Do you ever wonder why your predecessor was k*lled? He made bad decisions.
(Nicholas leaves)
Larek: You don't remember any of this, I'm sure, but...our families used to be very close. You and I practically grew up together. I was there at your father's funeral. At your coronation, your wedding. We were friends. And it was so painful to watch you fall, to see you trying so hard to make a better world for your people. And then to watch you have it all taken away by a man like Kivar...I told you you were trying to do too much too soon, that change takes time. But you wouldn't listen. You just kept...what's the point? It's all ancient history now. What a shame it is to see history repeat itself.
(Larek leaves)
(Max, Tess, Rath, and Lonnie are walking through the streets of New York)
Rath: What's up with you, huh? You just threw away our only chance of ever getting home!
Max: Maybe.
Rath: Hey, who do you think you are, huh? Makin' big-time life decisions for Lonnie and me? You think you're the man...is that it?
Max: That's right. I am the man.
Rath: Ok, you the man. Screw Nicholas. Screw 'em all.
Lonnie: Screw 'em tight. We'll find another way home.
Rath: I'm mad hungry. Let's go get a slice.
Lonnie: Sick of pizza. Chinatown.
Rath: I'm with that.
(Max, Tess, Rath, and Lonnie are walking along a street. Rath grabs Tess and covers her mouth with his hand. Lonnie reaches out with her hand and uses her power to loosen a platform above Max. Max is staring out into the street and sees Liz. She's calling out to him, but he can't hear what she's saying. He takes 2 steps forward and the platform crashes down where he was standing only seconds before. Liz disappears. Max looks around to find that Tess, Rath, and Lonnie have all disappeared as well)
Max: Liz? Tess? Tess!
(Max runs back to Rath and Lonnie's lair and finds Tess sitting there in the middle of the floor)
Max: Tess! Tess! Tess, are you all right?
Tess: I don't know.
Max: What happened?
Tess: They tried to get inside my head, find out where the granilith is. I...I didn't want them to...so I fought back.
Max: How?
Tess: I...I don't know.
Max: Where are they?
Tess: I don't know.
Max: Tess...Tess, are you all right?
Tess: I'm ready to go home now. Home to Roswell.
Max: Ok.
(Back in Roswell, Max discusses what happened with Isabel)
Isabel: So in the end, what made you decide not to take the deal?
Max: I was going to. I was gonna take the chance that...that Nicholas was telling the truth. But in the end, I realized that...that any deal which meant leaving you and Michael behind...was something I couldn't do. You're my sister, Isabel. Isabel, Vilandra...whatever your name is, it doesn't matter to me. You're my sister, and I love you...and that comes first. Always.
Isabel: Thank you.
(At the Crashdown, Ava is ready to go off on her own. Liz is seeing her off)
Liz: Good-bye. Good luck, ok?
Ava: Thanks. You, too.
(Liz hugs Ava)
Ava: So cornball.
Liz: Ok.
(Ava leaves)
(Inside the Crashdown, Brody tells Maria what he remembers about his recent possession)
Brody: Why...why would they take me again?
Maria: Well...maybe...you're special. How 'bout a Galaxy Sub, hold the mayo?
Brody: Sounds great. I don't think they fed me.
Maria: Yeah. Probably not.
Brody: Maria. Don't forget the...
Maria: Pepperjack. Who do you think you're dealing with here? Come on.
(Inside Liz's room, Max and Liz have a talk)
Liz: I keep looking for some sort of change.
Max: You mean like...
(Max puts two fingers on top of Liz's head, as if she has alien antennae)
Liz: Yeah. Something like that. It's nice to see you smile again.
Max: I want to thank you for saving my life.
Liz: I guess that makes us even.
Max: And...I'd like to...start again...our friendship, that is. I mean...I miss it.
Liz: Yeah. Um...I miss it, too.
Max: There's just one thing I have to say. One thing I have to ask...and...I promise I'll never ask it again.
Liz: Yeah. Go ahead.
Max: Did you...sleep with Kyle?
(Liz nods slightly)
Max: Ok. I'll see you tomorrow.
(Max climbs out the window and leaves)
(Scene fades out with Liz frustrated that things have to be this way, that she can't tell Max the truth) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x09 - Max In The City"} | foreverdreaming |
"A Roswell Christmas Carol" AKA "Roswell: The Miracle"
Episode: 10
32nd Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA10
Written by: Jason Katims
Original Air Date: Wednesday December 18, 2000
(Episode begins with a scene in downtown Roswell. A man and his daughter are tying a tree to the top of their car near a major intersection. Max and Michael are nearby in the Christmas tree lot trying to find a suitable tree for Isabel)
Man: Go grab that bag of mistletoe, ok, honey?
Michael: Come on, Maxwell. Just pick a tree. It's freezing out here.
Max: It's not so simple. This tree's got to fall within certain parameters.
Michael: Parameters?
Max: Height, circumference, color, density of foliage. Look at this diagram. You know how Isabel gets this time of year.
Michael: The Christmas n*zi, driving everyone insane while trying to have the perfect Christmas. The worst thing you can do is play into it, Max. You've got to fight her. You've got to fight the Christmas n*zi. Come on. I got to get to the hardware store before it closes. I got to get Maria her present.
Max: Why? Are you gonna get her a ratchet set?
Michael: Never mind. I'm under a lot of pressure. She's been busting my ass for weeks about this present. She says it's got to be significant.
Max: Then you might want to steer clear of the hardware store.
(Suddenly, we see a car veer sharply on the road and start heading towards a little girl. Her father sees the car coming and pushes her out of the way. Unfortunately, the car runs into him and he falls to the ground a few feet away from the car)
Little Girl: Daddy! Daddy!
(Max is stunned by this tragedy unfolding before him and internally struggles with whether or not to use his healing power to save this man who just sacrificed his life to save his child)
Michael: Maxwell.
Bystander 1: Someone, call an ambulance.
Bystander 2: He's not breathing.
Michael: Let's go.
(The next morning at the Evans home. Mrs. Evans is reading about the accident in the paper)
Diane: Oh, this poor, poor family.
Philip: Tragic.
Diane: I mean, this man gave his life to save his daughter. Now, that's a true hero.
Philip: Where's the Christmas n*zi?
Max: Last I saw, she was examining our outdoor lights for errant bulbs.
(Isabel comes into the house, dragging the tree that Max got)
Isabel: Max. This is, by far, the most pathetic Christmas tree I have ever seen. Did you even refer to my diagram?
Max: I had to run out this morning. There were only a few left.
Isabel: You know, I give you one tiny, little assignment, and you can't even handle that?
Max: Something came up.
Isabel: Well, if you had told me you couldn't go, I would have squeezed in time to get it myself between the hunger drive and Christmas dinner at the nursing home.
Diane: Isabel, did you know that this family lived only 4 blocks from here?
Isabel: It's so terrible. A few of us are talking about organizing a vigil for his family.
Philip: Beautiful. A vigil? You know, that's nice. Candles. Yeah.
Isabel: You know, I think I saw at least 17 burnouts on 2 and 5. Oh, what do you want to bet there are some flickering ones on 3 and 4, because they always seem to have problems, so check those, too, you know? You should never be careful because once 2 and 3 are gone and...
(Max sees an image of the man who died saving his daughter sitting on the washing machine. He walks over and stands in front of him. Only Max sees this man's ghost)
Isabel: Max. Great. He's doing laundry now. Dad, is there a reason you haven't finished hanging the rest of the outdoor Christmas lights?
Max: I'm sorry.
Ghost: How could you let me die?
(Opening credits)
(Scene switches to the Crashdown. Michael rings the bell and Maria goes up to the counter expecting to pick up an order)
Michael: I need to talk to you.
Maria: Yes, spaceboy?
Michael: We got 3 days til Christmas, and I'm working every day until then.
Maria: And?
Michael: I was wondering if it was necessary to exchange presents on Christmas day.
Maria: Need a little wiggle room?
Michael: If that would be all right. I mean, what's a couple days? You know, I figure we can make a date for the 27th or 28th.
Maria: Sure. No problem. How about the, uh, second week of january? I mean, what is Christmas but some arbitrary day. What is it again? Oh, yes. The birthday of our lord and savior. It's no big deal.
Michael: So, that's cool?
Maria: You give me that damn present on December 25th, or I'll never speak to you again.
(Switch to the inside of the UFO Center. Maria has brought Brody's usual lunch for him and is looking around for him)
Maria: Hello? Brody?
Brody: Maria. Hi.
Maria: Ok. Flash update on my non-boyfriend Michael Guerin. First of all, he had no intention of buying me a Christmas present, right? Then, he tried...
Brody: Maria. I'm sorry. This just really isn't a good time.
Maria: Oh. Ok.
Brody: Listen. I'm gonna be away for a couple of days. Uh, you don't need to bring my lunch.
Maria: Fine. Is...is everything all right?
Brody: Yeah. Fine.
Maria: Yeah. Of course. Merry Christmas.
(Maria leaves)
Brody: Yeah. Merry Christmas.
(Switch to the Valenti home, where Sheriff Valenti and Kyle are sitting on the couch watching football on TV)
Sheriff: Go, go. Run, you tub of lard, run! No, nooo! What the hell are you doing?
Kyle: Uhh!
Sheriff: Oh!
Kyle: His mind and body are in deep conflict. When one's heart and one's mind are not in balance, one's body is the first to fail.
(Sheriff Valenti turns his head to Kyle and gives him a look)
Kyle: What?
Sheriff: I'm very concerned that you're starting to make sense to me.
Kyle: All I'm saying is that if the guy can't visualize his journey to the goal, he has no chance of taking the rock downtown.
(Tess comes back from shopping and sits down on a foot rest in front of the TV. Sheriff Valenti and Kyle continue to watch the football game by glancing around her)
Tess: It is a zoo out there. God, every store is packed with desperate people trying to find the perfect present. Oh, and the streets are loaded with overzealous people singing. And then, there's all these insane people dragging Christmas trees on top of their cars.
Sheriff Valenti & Kyle: Oh!!!
Kyle: Whoo! Oh!
Sheriff: Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Tess: But, clearly, you guys don't bother with Christmas trees.
Kyle: We've got ours out in the garage. Plastic.
Tess: Oh. Oh, well, I guess there's...no hurry to bring it into the house then.
Sheriff: Well, actually, we haven't brought it in for a few years.
Kyle: We like it in the garage. I use it to dry my socks.
Sheriff: Good. Second down. Second down, here we go. Come on. Come on. Visualize.
Tess: Oh, and about Christmas dinner. I hope you guys aren't planning some big...
Kyle: We usually h*t the Crashdown for turkey.
Sheriff: $7.95 - all you can eat.
Tess: Great. You know, I don't celebrate Christmas anyway.
Sheriff: Great. Oh, yes.
Kyle: Yes. Yes!
Sheriff: Yes! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
Kyle: Whoo!
Sheriff: Ha ha ha!
(Switch to the hardware store. Michael shows Isabel the present he's going to give to Maria - an electric toothbrush)
Isabel: This is a toothbrush.
Michael: It's an electric toothbrush. It's practical.
Isabel: It is practical. Are you gonna give it to Maria as a stocking stuffer?
Michael: Hell no. This is gonna be her present. She set a price limit. If I exceed that budget, then there's gonna be hell to pay.
Isabel: Actually I think Maria would find it in her heart to forgive you for exceeding the price limit, though there would be hell to pay if you gave the girl you love an electric toothbrush for Christmas. You're better off getting her no gift at all.
Michael: No. I tried the "no present" idea last year. It didn't work.
Isabel: Last year was your first year together, and you didn't give her a present?
Michael: Hey, I don't even believe in this, so why should I get sucked into it? The whole thing's a marketing scam invented to make people buy things they don't even need.
Isabel: Well, you could write that on the card when you give her a dental product for Christmas.
Michael: So, what should I get her?
Isabel: Okay, look. Go home. Think about all that you and Maria have shared, all that she means to you. Then start coming up with some ideas, ok? A Christmas gift should be personal, thoughtful, and something someone would never get herself. Now I've gotta go, 'cause I've got a rehearsal for the holiday pageant, dinner at the nursing home. I've gotta wrap a ton of presents, and now I've got to get a new tree.
Michael: Hail the Christmas n*zi.
Isabel: What was that?
Michael: Nothing.
Isabel: Bye now.
(Isabel leaves)
(Switch to a group of people out Christmas caroling to the wife and children of the man who was k*lled in the car accident earlier. Maria is among them. They're singing "Jingle Bells". Max observes from a distance and is confronted by the ghost of the d*ad man)
Ghost: What are you doing out here?
Max: I just want to make sure they're all right.
Ghost: They're not all right.
Max: If I had exposed myself last night, there are people I would have put at risk.
Ghost: But it was ok for you to heal Liz Parker.
Max: How do you know about that?
Ghost: Because I know everything in your mind, heart, and soul, Max. I know it all.
Max: I will look after your children. I swear I will.
Ghost: For how long, Max?
Max: Until they're ok.
Ghost: They'll never be ok, Max. Don't you understand that? They lost their father last night.
(Max is really unsure of what he should do. He goes to the Crashdown to ask Liz for advice)
Max: You know how we said that we were gonna try to be friends?
Liz: Yeah.
Max: I think I need a friend.
Liz: Oh. Ok. Come on in.
(Switch to the group of carolers moving to another house)
Caroler: Ok. Last house of the night. 5-year-old girl with cancer.
(They start singing "Deck the Halls" and a little girl comes out of the house to listen)
Sydney: Daddy, come here!
(Brody comes outside to join his daughter, Sydney. Maria and Brody see each other, and Maria realizes why Brody wasn't in the Christmas mood earlier when she brought him his lunch)
(Scene switches to the outside of Liz's room, where Max is explaining his dilemma to Liz)
Max: There was a crowd, a huge crowd, and everyone was watching, and I...I...I could have healed him, but I didn't.
Liz: Max, listen to me. Listen. You can't hold yourself responsible for that man's life.
Max: He gave his life for his daughter, and I let him die.
Liz: If you healed him, you would have exposed Michael, Isabel, and Tess.
(The ghost suddenly appears and criticizes Max)
Ghost: Well, that was the sugar-coated version, Max. Now tell her what you were really thinking.
Max: I wasn't thinking about Michael and Isabel and Tess. I was thinking about myself in the white room and being tortured. I didn't heal that man, because I was protecting myself. Why couldn't I trade my life for his?
Liz: No, Max, look. You can't do that to yourself.
(The ghost walks around outside Liz's room singing "Amazing Grace")
Max: He's haunting me, Liz.
Liz: What do you mean?
Max: He comes to me. I see him.
Liz: You mean you literally see him.
Max: I have to do something.
(The ghost stops singing and Max sees him falling off of the roof. Max rushes over to the edge and reaches out to try to grab him)
Liz: Max! Max. Max, what are you talking about?
Max: I don't know.
(The ghost re-appears)
Ghost: Can't get rid of me that easily. I got no place to go. You need to restore the balance, Max.
Liz: Max.
Max: I need to restore the balance.
(Scene switches to Brody's house. Maria wanders there looking for Brody. She wants to know about Sydney)
Brody: Maria.
Maria: Hey.
Brody: What are you doing here?
Maria: Um, I don't know. I'm just...I'm just here.
Brody: You're wondering about Sydney.
Maria: Yeah.
Brody: She's my daughter.
Maria: She's very beautiful.
Brody: Thank you. She's staying with me for a few days, you know, for Christmas.
Maria: Oh. She has, uh...
Brody: Cancer. Yeah. It's in her bone marrow. Inoperable.
Maria: I'm sorry.
Brody: I know you and I talk a lot and that I've never mentioned her. I just don't...it's hard, you know, to talk about it.
Maria: If there's anything I can do, anything at all...
Brody: Thank you. You did enough last night. You have a beautiful voice.
(Sydney comes out of the house looking for Brody)
Sydney: Daddy, I can't get my crown to fit right.
(Sydney notices Maria)
Sydney: Who are you?
Maria: I'm Maria. You must be Sydney.
Sydney: Yeah.
Maria: Now, is, um...is that a Christmas present you're wearing?
Brody: Sydney's gonna be in the holiday pageant this afternoon, aren't you, sweetheart?
(Brody walks to Sydney and places a tiara on her head)
Brody: All right. A bit big, isn't it? There we go. It's lovely, isn't it?
(Switch to Michael's apartment. Michael is fixing up a bumper. Isabel comes in with her arms full of presents)
Michael: It's a bumper.
Isabel: Yes, I see that.
Michael: For a Jetta.
Isabel: Hmmm. How did what I said yesterday result in this?
Michael: It meets all your criteria. It's personal, because I personally know what a bug she has up her ass about how much we screwed up her car. It's thoughtful, because I had to go to the junkyard and get it, and it's something she would never get herself for the obvious reason that her bumper's been hanging from a string for the past half-year.
Isabel: Ok, Michael. This is what I'm gonna do. I am going to take the Christmas dog show off my calendar and take you shopping and rectify this situation.
Michael: No. I'm not gonna get obsessed over this present. This is fine. I'm not gonna make everyone else around me miserable.
Isabel: What are you saying? That I get obsessed and make everyone around me miserable?
Michael: I didn't say that.
Isabel: You know, is it too much to ask that one day a year, I can be like a normal human being with a normal life and have a merry Christmas?!?
Michael: No, mein fuhrer.
(Isabel turns around sharply and gives Michael an evil look)
Isabel: What?
Michael: What?
Isabel: Oh. Is it all right if I leave some gifts here? I have more shopping to do.
Michael: Leave them on the table.
Isabel: Bye-bye then.
(Isabel leaves and Michael lets out a sigh of relief)
(Switch to the supermarket where Sheriff Valenti, Kyle, and Tess are buying groceries. Amy De Luca is also there)
Sheriff: Whoo. Meaty Man, in case the game runs late on Sunday, and we don't make it to the Crashdown. Go long, go long, go long.
Amy: Oh, my God. Jim.
Sheriff: Amy De Luca. Merry Christmas.
Amy: Merry Christmas. Oh, merry Christmas, Kyle.
Kyle: Merry Christmas, Mrs. De Luca.
Amy: Oh, my God. This must be the famous Tess. My daughter Maria has told me so much about you.
Tess: Oh, I deny everything.
Amy: Oh, well, this is a true Christmas story, Jim, making a home for this lovely young girl.
Sheriff: Oh, it's nothing, really.
Amy: Oh, no. Come on. This is what Christmas is all about, you know? Opening your heart and creating new family.
Sheriff: It's just a temporary thing.
Amy: Oh, never you mind. Come on. This must be a very special year for all of you. You have a new member of your family.
Sheriff: Yep. Very special.
Amy: Yeah. I bet.
Sheriff: Ha ha ha ha!
Amy: Well, our tree is overflowing already, but, you know, I always say that you can never have too many Christmas ornaments, right?
(Tess sees this opportunity to add some Christmas ornaments to the shopping cart)
Tess: Right. You know, that's what we say.
Amy: Right. Well, remember, Jim, if you ever want to stop by, there'll always be a De Luca Christmas pie waiting.
Sheriff: Thanks, Amy.
Amy: Uh, thank you. Ok. Um, bye.
(Switch to the Christmas pageant that Isabel has organized. It's the one that Sydney is in)
Isabel: Ok, you guys. We worked really hard, so just don't forget to smile, ok?
Liz: Oh, my God.
Maria: I've been crying all day.
Liz: Oh, Maria.
Maria: Liz, I've made up my mind. I'm gonna be there for Brody and Sydney.
Liz: Yes, definitely. You know, we could go put together a care package from the Crashdown. So they don't have to worry about making food.
Maria: No. No. I mean, I'm gonna be with them.
Liz: What are you talking about?
Maria: Brody is such a good man. He really is. And Sydney...I mean, we only spoke for a minute, but we had this, like, immediate connection. A girl needs a mother.
Liz: Oh, no, Maria. Slow down.
Maria: I can't take it anymore, Liz. It's just so sad. I have to do something.
Liz: Maria, you're 17. You're in high school. Brody is not.
Maria: My mother was married when she was 17. Ok. No. It's not exactly an advertisement for marrying young, no, but...
Liz: Maria, you can't just step in and become someone's mother...and what? All of a sudden, you're just gonna be with Brody? Did Brody say something to you? Did you talk to him about this? I mean, what is making you think this?
Maria: He said he liked my voice. Oh, my God. What am I thinking? I'm gonna marry Brody? I mean, I'm crazy.
Liz: No, you're not crazy. It is...it's just k*lling you not to do something about this, because you are such a good person. But I think the best thing you could do is just...leave them alone. Their time is precious right now. You should let them have their time together.
Maria: I mean, it's so wrong. It's Christmas. Christmas is supposed to have happy endings and miracles.
(Liz's eyes light up suddenly as she remembers Max's dilemma and his desire to "restore the balance")
Isabel: Hi, everyone. Welcome to this year's holiday pageant. I'm Isabel Evans. Some of you know me as the director of this pageant, others may know me as the president of the hunger drive, and still others might know me from the many holiday events at the nursing home, and some of you know me as...the Christmas n*zi.
(Isabel glances accusingly at Max and Michael)
Isabel: But enough about me. Let's feast our eyes on the cutest darn kids in America. Welcome to Roswell's 23rd annual holiday pageant.
(As the children perform, we see Liz walk over to Max and whisper something into his ear. She tells Max about Sydney and Brody and how Sydney has bone marrow cancer. Max glances over at Brody, then to Liz, then to Sydney. The ghost appears next to him and smiles)
Ghost: Looks like we have a plan.
(Switch to Michael's apartment. Max is discussing his plan with Tess, Isabel, and Michael, hoping to get their approval)
Michael: You heal her, and you leave behind a silver handprint, a nice, big fat clue saying there's aliens in Roswell.
Max: Look. Nasedo destroyed all the records from the special unit. It's possible no one even knows who we are or what the silver handprint is.
(Michael hammers away at the bumper)
Max: Look, I know what I'm asking here is big. There are a million reasons not to do this and only one reason to do it. I need to. I don't know what else to say.
(Michael bangs on the bumper again)
Isabel: What we've been through this past year, it's taken a lot away from us. I think maybe that sort of thing starts to take its toll, you know, on our human side...so if you feel you need to do this, then I'm behind you, Max.
Max: Thank you.
Tess: Look. If this means so much to you, I'm sure there's a good reason for it, so I'm with you, too.
(Michael bangs on the bumper again)
Michael: I guess that makes me the odd man out.
Max: Michael.
Michael: Hey, we're here for a reason, Max. So call me a selfish jerk, but I don't think we should risk everything just so you can feel a little bit better about yourself at Christmas. It's 3 against 1. I'm voted down anyway.
Max: Michael.
Michael: You made your decision before you walked through that door. I know you did. I could hear it in your voice, so why don't you just go do what you're gonna do...and make sure you don't screw up.
(Michael bangs on the bumper one last time)
(Switch to the Valenti home where Tess is finishing up on setting the table. Sheriff Valenti and Kyle are, of course, sitting on the couch watching TV)
Tess: Ok. I think we're just about ready. Oh, Kyle, could you grab 2 more dining room chairs? I looked in the garage, but I couldn't find any.
Kyle: Oh, that's 'cause there aren't any.
Tess: Uh, what do you mean?
Kyle: Uh, we don't have any other chairs.
Tess: All we have are 2 chairs? Um, doesn't that seem a little odd to you?
Sheriff: Well, we used to have more chairs, but over the years, our collection has dwindled.
Tess: So it doesn't bother you that there are only 2 chairs in the entire house?
Sheriff: We usually eat in front of the TV.
Kyle: He's never gonna pick up this spare. Come on, look within, you putz.
Sheriff: Guy's amazing.
Tess: I have been cooking for 20 hours, while you two have been sitting back on the couch like 2 beached whales, not even noticing or caring that I am living here. Ok. I am here. Hello. Hello? So, since I'm living here, I should have a damn chair to sit in!
Sheriff: We could bring my desk chair over.
Kyle: Good idea.
Tess: Oh, and, uh, where's Amy De Luca going to sit?
Sheriff: Amy De Luca? Why does Amy De Luca need a place to sit?
Tess: Because...I invited her over to dinner.
Sheriff: You what?
Tess: Well, I figured if we had a guest, you two would have to shut off the damn TV and pretend to be civilized.
Sheriff: When is she coming?
(The doorbell rings)
Tess: Uh, about now, actually.
Sheriff: Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. Shh...ooh, no! Come on, now. Don't do this to me. Come on. Help me out, will you? Don't ever invite somebody over to dinner without telling me first. Ah! Jeez Louise. Oh! Jeez.
(Sheriff Valenti quickly cleans up a bit as best he can. He throws the bag of chips into the kitchen and tucks in his shirt. Kyle is busy sweeping away the chips on the coffee table. Sheriff Valenti takes a deep sigh just before opening the door)
Sheriff: Amy.
Amy: Hi, Jim. Hi, everyone. It was so nice of you to think of me, Jim, and I loved your note.
Sheriff: My note...
Amy: I miss you, too.
(Switch to Brody's home. Max uses his power to unlock the door and slips inside. The house is empty, except for the ghost who informs Max that he's too late)
Ghost: It's too late, Max. They rushed her to the hospital. Boy, do you have a dilemma.
(Max drives over to Michael's apartment and updates him on the situation)
Max: She had a relapse. She's in the hospital in Phoenix.
Michael: And?
Max: I'm going. It may be a little more dangerous now. I just thought you should know.
Michael: I'm going with you. I just want to keep you from getting us all k*lled.
(Switch back to the Valenti home)
Amy: Are you sure you don't need any help?
Tess: No, I'm fine. So how long have you and the Sheriff known each other?
Sheriff: Oh, a long time.
Amy: A long, long time. He knew me before I was legal, right, Jim?
Sheriff: Mm-hmm.
Tess: Really?
Amy: Well, actually, we always sort of knew each other, but the first time we actually met, he almost ran me over with his dirt bike.
Sheriff: Well, what the hell were you and Curt Pressman doing laying out there on that mesa...
Amy: That is neither the point or proper dinner conversation. Of course, the second time I met him, he arrested me.
Tess: Really, you arrested her?
(Tess brings another dish to the table)
Kyle: Is that 3-cheese potato gratin?
Tess: With bacon on the bottom. Your favorite.
(Tess heads back to the kitchen and Kyle stares at her for a moment)
Sheriff: Standing in front of a pile of old rocks with a bunch of hippies.
Amy: Oh, for protecting a native american treasure.
Sheriff: Tomatoes, tomatoes.
Amy: All right, and then finally, the third time we met, he rescued me.
Kyle: Yeah, I've heard that one, but don't let me stop you.
(Kyle goes to the kitchen to help Tess)
Sheriff: Don't exaggerate. You didn't need to be rescued.
Amy: Of course I did. The attic was engulfed in flames...
Kyle: So you need me to carve that?
Tess: I got it. Thanks.
(Tess uses her power to slice up the turkey)
Kyle: Well, so this...this is really, uh...this is really great.
Tess: Well, I saw a break in the NFL schedule between the 22nd and 24th of December, so I figured...
Kyle: Right. Well, this is the best Christmas dinner we've had in a long time. I mean, 2 guys living alone. We just never really had the Christmas spirit.
(Sheriff Valenti and Amy are laughing in the other room)
Tess: Well, it, uh, looks like he's got the spirit now.
Kyle: That's a really great gift that you gave him...to both of us, I mean.
Tess: This is a great gift to me, too.
(Tess brings the turkey out to the table)
Amy: Oh...
Sheriff: Ooh...
Tess: There we go! Enjoy, ok?
(Kyle looks at the scene in the dining room and smiles)
(Scene switches to the hospital in Phoenix that Sydney was admitted to. Max and Michael are dressed in scrubs and head toward the room that Sydney is in)
Michael: One knock means be on your guard, 2 means the coast is clear...and 3 will mean we're screwed.
Max: Right.
(Max enters the room and Michael stands guard outside)
Max: Shh. It's ok.
Sydney: Who are you?
Max: I'm just a dream. Go back to sleep.
(Max places his hands on Sydney, grunts softly, and heals her. He gets up and his eyes gaze upon a boy laying in a bed nearby. Max looks at the ghost in the room with him and heads for the other child. Each times he heals, he is flooded with images of the child's memories. Ouside, Michael notices a nurse gazing in his direction and knocks on the door. Max hears the knock and proceeds to heal the boy. Outside, the nurse grabs a clipboard and walks toward Michael)
Nurse: Excuse me? I'm supposed to check this ward.
Michael: I'll save you the trouble. Someone just checked it.
(Max moves to the bed of another little girl)
Little Girl: Are you an angel?
Max: Go back to sleep.
(Max heals her and starts having blurry vision. He struggles to the bed of another child. Outside the room, the nurse has returned with a group of security guards and points to Michael. Michael knocks on the door 3 times. The guards start heading toward Michael. He knocks on the door again, then opens the door, goes in, and locks the door from the inside. He sees Max stumble and fall to the floor)
Michael: Max!
(The guard bangs on the door)
Guard: Open this door! Now!
Michael: If there's a God, please help us now.
(The guard finally manages to open the door, using a chair to knock it open. The guards rush in with the nurses close behind. They see a room full of children playing around and singing. The window is open, and it's obvious that's how Max and Michael made their escape)
(The next morning at the Evans home)
Woman on TV: Our baby is ok. The cancer is gone. It's a miracle. We prayed everyday and...and God...God spoke.
Diane: Now that...that is a miracle.
Philip: That might be overstating it a little. They did say they were all undergoing experimental treatment.
Diane: Philip, put your finger here. I mean, one day those children were at death's door, and the next day they were completely healed. That wasn't medicine, honey. And the part about the imprint of the hand on each of the children. I mean, if that isn't enough to get you to believe in God, then I don't know what is. Can you put your finger there? And, I mean, maybe it's even enough to, uh...get Max to join us at midnight services tonight. What do you say, Max?
(Switch to Michael's apartment. Maria goes there to look for him to talk about what happened in Phoenix)
Maria: Spaceboy...
(Michael, who has been polishing the bumper, quickly covers it as Maria walks towards him)
Michael: What's up?
Maria: I just wanted to let you know that I heard about what you did for Sydney and those children.
Michael: Thank Max. I was against it.
Maria: This whole...thing with Sydney has made me realize how stupid I've been about this gift thing. I don't need a gift.
Michael: I actually got you one.
Maria: You did? Really?
Michael: Yeah.
Maria: Yea, I'm so excited. What is that smell?
(Maria pulls off the covering to the bumper)
Michael: No, it's not...it's not dry yet.
Maria: Is that a bumper? It...it's a bumper.
Michael: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maria: Is that, like, a Jetta bumper?
Michael: Not yet, but it's gonna be.
Maria: Michael...that is so thoughtful.
Michael: That's what I keep saying.
Maria: I mean, my bumper has been hanging...
Michael: From a string. I know.
Maria: And I...I would have never, you know...
Michael: Got one for yourself. Exactly. So...merry Christmas.
Maria: Thank you, Michael. Thank you. So you want to exchange gifts now?
Michael: Huh?
Maria: Are one of those for me? One of those are for me.
Michael: Yes, I'll go get it.
Maria: Ok, which one? Is...is it the big one?
Michael: Turn around.
(Michael walks over to the pile of presents and rummages through them, wondering which one of Isabel's gifts he will give to Maria. Near the bottom, though, there is a present with a note on it - "Michael, just in case. Love, The Christmas n*zi". Michael smiles, removes the note, and walks back to Maria and hands her the present)
Michael: Merry Christmas.
Maria: Whoo-hoo-hoo. What is it? What is it?
Michael: That's a good question. Now remember, I was in Phoenix saving lives, so I was a little strapped for time.
Maria: Ok.
Michael (silently): Oh, please, God.
Maria: Michael...these are real pearls.
Michael: What?!? Wow! Of course.
Maria: My God, this must have cost you a fortune.
Michael: I'm sure they will.
Maria: These are the most beautiful earrings I've ever seen, but I don't need this gift. This year my gift is you.
(Maria hugs Michael tightly)
Michael: So you don't want the earrings, then?
Maria: Oh, no. I'll keep the earrings.
(Michael lets out a huge sigh of relief)
(Max goes over to the Crashdown and knocks on Liz's window)
Liz: So I hear you went to Phoenix.
Max: Yeah. Thank you...for telling me about Sydney.
Liz: Are you still haunted?
Max: I don't think so.
Liz: Healing all of those kids...why did you do it?
Max: After I healed Sydney, I...I looked at the face of the boy lying next to her, and I just thought...how can I not...how can I not use my gift?
Liz: As beautiful as that is, Max...you can't keep doing it. I know it seems like there's no reason for those kids to have cancer or for a father to get k*lled saving his child or for any of it...but maybe there is. Maybe there is someone or something out there that's planning all of this, and maybe you have to respect it. You're not God, Max. You're the one that told me that. Will you come to midnight service?
Max: I'd like to...but I don't believe in God. Merry Christmas, Liz.
(Liz closes the window)
Liz: Merry Christmas, Max.
(Max walks toward the house of the man who was k*lled. The ghost is with him)
Ghost: They'll be ok. My wife? She's, uh...she's pretty remarkable. If anybody can get through this...
Max: I want you to know that if they ever need me...I will be there for them.
Ghost: I know you will, Max. Get outta here.
Max: I don't know where to go.
Ghost: It's Christmas. You should be with your loved ones. That's where I'll be. That's where I'll always be.
(The ghost walks to the front door and appears on the other side. He turns around, smiles at Max, and then disappears)
(Back at the Evans home, Michael stops by to check up on Max)
Max: You're going to midnight service? You don't believe in anything.
Michael: Gotta hedge your bets, Maxwell. I've had my prayers answered twice in the past 2 days. Don't ask. You ok?
Max: Better. Thanks.
Michael: Your powers?
Max: Yeah, they're starting to come back to me.
Michael: Good. I just wanted to say that I'm really pissed about what happened last night.
Max: Michael...I couldn't stop myself.
Michael: No, no, no. I'm pissed that I don't have the ability to help the kids in the hospital that you couldn't get to.
Max: Michael...
Michael: Enough said. I got a Christmas present for you. Come on.
(Max and Michael drive over to Brody's house. They look in and see Brody speaking softly to Sydney who is sleeping in his arms)
(Max wanders around a bit and winds up at the midnight service. Everyone looks happy there. The choir is singing "Come All Ye Faithful". Michael is sitting with Maria. Isabel sits a few rows in front of them with Mr. and Mrs. Evans, rubbing her fingers together to signal that Michael owes her big time for the earrings. Kyle and Tess are sitting together, with Tess sitting between Kyle and Sheriff Valenti. Sheriff Valenti looks to the row behind him where Amy De Luca is sitting. They smile at each other. Mrs. Evans turns to tell Mr. Evans something and notices Max walking towards them. Max stops to kiss his mom and then sits down next to Liz)
Liz: I thought you didn't believe in God.
Max: I believe in you.
(Max grabs Liz's hand and squeezes it tightly)
(Episode ends with snow falling around everyone) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x10 - A Roswell Christmas Carol"} | foreverdreaming |
"To Serve and Protect"
Episode: 11
33rd Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA11
Written by: Breen Frazier
Original Air Date: Monday January 22, 2001
(Episode opens on Max and Isabel at home flipping through television channels)
Isabel: There's nothing on.
Max: We must have 50 channels.
Isabel: Crap. . .Crap. . .
Max: Uh Huh.
Isabel: Boring.
Max: Uh Huh.
Isabel: I'm going to take a stroll; see what people are dreaming.
Max: Haven't you been over doing that lately?
Isabel: Take it easy. It's harmless.
Max: It's just not a very nice thing to do.
(Isabel leaves, Max yells after her.)
Max: Stay away from Liz, please.
(He continues flipping through channels)
Max: Crap. . .Crap. . .Crap. . .
(Isabel is on her bed looking through her yearbook and stops at Liz's picture. We enter Liz's dream at the Crashdown. A young man enters.)
Brad: Hello, Liz.
Liz: Hello, Brad.
(Brad lifts her up, and sets her on the counter. Liz lies down.)
Liz: Would you like fries with that.
(Brad and Liz start kissing. Max shows up behind the counter)
Liz: I'm with Brad now.
Max: Brad doesn't even exist. Besides, you want someone who can do this.
(Max gestures toward the ceiling and rose petals start to fall. Liz and Max kiss.)
Liz: Oh my!
Isabel: Even her romantic dreams are boring.
(Back to Isabel's room. She looks through the yearbook again and stops on Kyle.)
Isabel: Kyle's got to be more interesting than that.
(We enter Kyle's dream. He's on a mountaintop in a Lotus position with BUDDHA.)
Buddha: Remember young blossom, my most important words.
Kyle: Yes, master.
Buddha: To thine own self be true.
Isabel: It's Shakespeare.
Buddha: With every inhale find the center of yourself. With every exhale release the ties that bind your energy. Inhale. . .Exhale. . .Inhale. . .
(BUDDHA is interrupted by a cell phone beeping.)
Buddha: Excuse me. BUDDHA here. Yeah. When? Prepare the ship. Standby to beam us aboard.
Kyle: Master?
Buddha: Our enemies have arrived, Kyle. We must leave Earth and face the dark legion.
Kyle: No, no, no, no. I'm here for inner peace, not that science fiction crap.
Buddha: Max Evans changed you when he saved your life. You know that. You're an alien now Kyle. Dude, like, accept you destiny.
Kyle: No, I'm not!
(Kyle looks down at his hand and it has become green and slimy.)
Kyle: Ahhhhh!
(Switch back to Isabel's room, where she enters another dream in a forest with flashes of light.)
Isabel: Where am I? Kyle, who's dream is this?
(We see a man dragging a screaming girl in a black plastic bag. Isabel wakes up in a panic.)
(Opening credits)
(Open on Sheriff Valenti's office, the next morning.)
Voice (O.C.): Excuse me. I'm looking for a broken-down, old, war-horse somehow managed to make Sheriff of Roswell, New Mexico.
Valenti: Hansen, send that sanctimonious paper-pusher in here before I have him arrested for vagrancy.
(Man enters)
Dan: Damn son, you are getting old.
Valenti: Real police work will do that to you, Dan. You should try it some time.
Dan: Now, that hurts. Long time, Jimbo.
Valenti: Too long. So, I take it this isn't a social call.
Dan: The state police board wants to review the Hubble sh**ting. VALENTI: Hubble? Well, it's an open and shut case. Crazy old man with a g*n in the desert. It was over a year ago. Why investigate that?
Dan: Wheels of justice grind slowly.
Valenti: Do I need a lawyer?
Dan: Whoa, easy, no need to get all riled up now.
Valenti: That was a clean sh**t, Dan.
Dan: If you say so.
(Change to Crashdown. Tess is having breakfast with Kyle. She pours Tabasco sauce on her waffles with whip cream and strawberries, and in her orange juice.)
Kyle: That's a very alien thing, isn't it? The very sweet, very spicy? TESS: Uh huh.
Kyle: Can I try a bite?
Tess: You won't like it.
Kyle: Oh, I hope not.
(Kyle takes a taste)
Kyle: Oh my God.
Tess: I told you.
Kyle: No,no,no. It's not completely horrible. It's almost tasty.
Tess: Oh well, here. Have some more.
Kyle: No, no, I can't. This is so wrong. I'm not ready for this.
Tess: Not ready for what?
Kyle: For the change. Not ready to be, like, a half-human, half-alien freakazoid.
Tess: Uh, we prefer the term ‘hybrids'.
Kyle: I'm serious. Look, I never bargained for this. One minute I'm a normal guy with my whole life ahead of me the next thing I know, Max Evans transmogrifies me into something not-of-this-Earth.
Tess: Whoa, whoa, trans-what?
Kyle: Look, I never asked for this.
Tess: Well, I suppose he could have let you die. Is that what you want? KYLE: If I had died, I would have transcended the mortal plane and been reincarnated into the next stage of my life.
Tess: Reincarnated as what, exactly?
Kyle: Like, just another person or animal, maybe.
Tess: An animal? Like, you could have ended up a gopher or something! KYLE: Look, we're getting off the point. I really need some help.
Tess: What do you want from me? I don't know what's going to happen to you. You know, maybe nothing will happen. Or maybe you could develop superpowers and start flying all over Roswell in a big cape. I don't know!
(Kyle reaches for Tess' waffles.)
Kyle: Could I have another-
Tess: No!
(Isabel and Max are talking to Sheriff Valenti in his office.)
Valenti: Alright, let me get this straight. You can go into people's dreams?
Isabel: Yes. But usually I choose whose dreams I go into. This one just came to me.
Valenti: Well, how do you know this was real, not just somebody's nightmare you stumbled into?
Isabel: I don't know, but it felt real. She needs help.
Max: Sheriff, when Tess was being tortured Isabel got flashes from her, and that's how she knew Tess was in danger. That's how we saved her life. We should check into this.
Valenti: It's a little hard to look for a missing girl without a name or a face.
(Dan knocks and enters)
Dan: Hey, Senor Chows for lunch?
Valenti: Yeah, that'd be fine.
(Dan looks with interest at Max and Isabel.)
Dan: Hi.
Max: Hi.
Valenti: I'll see you at 1:00, Dan.
(Dan exits)
Max: Who was that?
Valenti: From the State Police Board. He's reviewing the Hubble case. Max: Hubble?
Valenti: It's no big deal. Dan's an old friend. I'll tell you what. I'll look into it, Okay?
Isabel: Thank you.
(Dan and Valenti are having lunch at Senor Chows.)
Valenti: When I ordered him to put his w*apon down, he uh. . . he refused, brought the g*n up. I felt my life was in imminent danger, so I fired.
Dan: Hmm, just like it says in your report. (Dan signals a waiter) Uh, could we have more of these sweet and sour tortillas? They're good, different, but good. So, uh, who were those kids in your office this morning?
Valenti: Nobody. Stolen bike.
Dan: Hmm, What were their names again?
Valenti: Max and Isabel Evans. DAN: Max Evans. . .hmm, I got a statement here says that Hubble was last seen in a car with Max Evans, before the sh**ting.
Valenti: Whose statement?
Dan: Was Max Evans there that night?
Valenti: No.
Dan: Okay Jim, that's all I need to hear.
(Move to the Crashdown. Liz is serving food to some customers)
Liz: Okay, Umm, we have a Saturn Rings and a Galaxy Sub, hold the Max. (Liz looks at Maria as she realizes her mistake) Okay, so I'll be right back with the Cokes.
(Maria pulls Liz aside.)
Maria: Okay, what just happened?
Liz: I need help. I'm sick, Okay. I am an obsessed person.
Maria: Okay, is this a general freakout or should I be concerned?
Liz: No, I have Max on my brain 24 hours a day. Okay, I dream about him, I think about him, and now I'm saying his friggin' name without even realizing it. What am I going to do?
Maria: You're in love that's all.
Liz: I know, but it's not getting me anywhere.
Maria: Okay relax, relax, Liz. It's not that bad. I promise.
Liz: Not that bad? Really? Why don't you look at this?
(Liz pulls out two pictures of Max from her apron pockets.)
Liz: See! Obsession, obsession, obsession, obsession!
Maria: Okay, okay, you're a Max-aholic. I'm here for you. What can I do?
Liz: Get me a life.
(a new guy enters the Crashdown.)
Maria: Oh, you gotta be kidding me. When did you get out?
Sean: This morning.
Maria: You didn't break out did you?
Sean: I got a release, good behavior.
Maria: That's a first. You don't think that you're going to stay with us do you?
Sean: Oh, uh, Aunt Amy already gave it the thumbs up.
Maria: She is such a soft touch, isn't she?
Sean: Hi, Liz.
Liz: Hey, Sean.
Sean: All grown up. Like it. I'll see you at home.
Maria: It's not your home.
(Evans House. Grant Sorenson is flipping through TV channels as Max walks in with a look of distrust.)
Max: Grant.
Grant: Hey, Max.
Max: You're uh. . .
Grant: Waiting for Isabel.
Max: Oh, right. I'll go check on her.
(Max enters Isabel's room. Isabel is hurriedly going through her closest of clothes picking out something to wear.)
Max: You know, Grant's downstairs.
Isabel: I know.
Max: Do you really like that guy?
Isabel: Don't start with me, Max.
Max: What's wrong?
Isabel: I just. . .I've been thinking about that girl all day. You know? It was different. It was like she was dreamwalking me.
Max: You mean, like, she's an alien?
Isabel: No, no, I don't think so.
Max: Well, maybe you should cancel your date.
Isabel: You know how many times I have cancelled in the last month? I have no more excuses.
Max: Well, tell him the truth. You've been battling evil aliens for control of the planet and it's hard to fit him in.
Isabel: Funny. No, no, I want a normal date with a normal guy tonight. I'm going, so just. . .just tell him I'll be ready in five minutes. Okay? Five minutes.
Max: Five minutes.
Isabel: Yeah, five minutes. Okay? Thank you.
(Valenti living room. Kyle is sitting in front of the TV, which is off. He tries out his alien powers by raising his hand toward the screen. Tess walks up behind him and sees what he is doing, so she picks up the remote control and turns the TV on.)
Kyle: Oh God, jeez.
(Tess laughs quietly to herself and Kyle tries again.)
Kyle: Channel 15.
(Tess changes the channel with the remote.)
Kyle: Channel 23
(Tess changes the channel)
Kyle: Unscrambled p*rn.
(Tess changes again, and Kyle jumps up in triumph.)
Kyle: I have become -
(he turns and sees Tess behind him.)
Kyle: an idiot.
Tess: Oh, but a cute one. Hey
(Tess tosses the remote to Kyle)
(Switch to the movies with Isabel and Grant. Isabel rolls her head from side to side.)
Grant: You sore?
Isabel: Yeah.
(Grant massages her neck.)
Isabel: Thank you.
(Isabel lays her head on Grant's shoulder and closes her eyes. Suddenly she gets another flash of a young blond girl being kidnapped as she goes to her car. We see drugs and a syringe. Next we see her being dragged in a black bag, by a man. Isabel sits up with a yell.)
Grant: You okay?
Isabel: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm sorry.
(Isabel and Max are in Valenti's livingroom later that night.)
Isabel: I need to find her. She's in trouble. She's going to die.
Valenti: I thought you weren't sure.
Isabel: It's real Sheriff. I know it's happening.
Max: You have to find her.
Valenti: Find who? What missing girl? No one's been reported. I don't know what she looks like. I don't have any leads. . .
Isabel: I saw her car. It's silver.
Valenti: Did you see the plates?
Isabel: No, but it's a Honda, or a Toyota, or something. I'm not good with cars.
Valenti: Okay, I guess I could start looking through the abandoned vehicle reports. See if it's turned up. Okay?
Isabel: Thank you. I'm sorry for barging in like this.
Valenti: Hey, hey. It's Okay, alright?
Isabel: Thank you.
(As Isabel leaves Max talks to the sheriff.)
Max: I know how all this must look.
Valenti: I believe her. I do. I just don't know how realistic it is to think that I'm going to be able to find this girl with this evidence.
Max: I know. Thanks.
(As Max leaves the sheriff makes a phone call.)
Valenti: Hansen, I'm coming in.
(Valenti enters the Crashdown on his way in to the station and sits at the counter by a woman.)
Valenti: Large coffee and a warp wrap to go please.
Judith Foster: Working late Jim?
Valenti: Yep
Judith Foster: Great match your boy had the other night.
Valenti: Yeah, two take downs. Not bad, huh?
Judith Foster: Just like his father. Remember that match against the Rangers?
Valenti: My God, how do you remember these things?
Judith Foster: I had a crush on you, or didn't you notice?
Valenti: I noticed your boyfriend.
Judith Foster: I like to call him my husband now.
Valenti: How's your girl?
Judith Foster: Melissa? Fine, just fine. . . I think.
Valenti: Something wrong?
Judith Foster: No, it's nothing I'm sure. She went to visit some friends in Santa Fe yesterday and she hasn't called home yet. I know I shouldn't be concerned, but she always calls. Oh, I'm being silly.
Valenti: Melissa drives a silver car doesn't she?
Judith Foster: Yeah, Toyota. Why?
(Sheriff's station later that night. A deputy is interviewing the woman as Sheriff Valenti enters giving orders.)
Valenti: You contacted all the Foster girl's friends yet? I need to know if she turns up.
Deputy: OKAY
(Valenti turns to another officer.)
Valenti: Get highway patrol on the horn. I want every inch of 285 covered.
(Valenti hands papers to another officer)
Valenti: Plate numbers. Run them.
(Switch to Mrs. Foster being interviewed)
Mrs. Foster: She had an overnight bag and a cosmetics case. Deputy: Does she have a cell phone?
Mrs. Foster: No. I took it away from her. She was spending too much money.
(Dan enters)
Dan: Hey, how's it going?
Valenti: Busy. Judith, you have that picture?
Mrs. Foster: Yeah, it's right here.
(Valenti turns back to Dan.)
Valenti: What's up?
Dan: Heard about the missing girl. You're really circling up the wagons here.
Valenti: Just doing my job. Excuse me.
(Valenti opens his office door.)
Dan: Who you got in there?
(Valenti turns back and looks at Dan but doesn't answer, then continues into his office and closes the door. Max and Isabel are waiting. He hands Isabel a picture of Melissa Foster.)
Valenti: Is this her?
Isabel: The hair's the right color. I think so.
Valenti: Are you sure?
Isabel: I never saw her clearly, but it's her. It has to be.
Valenti: I hope you're wrong. I've known the Fosters for years.
Max: Well, I don't recognize her.
Valenti: She goes to Goddard High.
Isabel: The terror. I felt it so clearly in the last dream. We have to get her back. I need to.
Valenti: You and me both.
(Change to the next day in the Crashdown where Maria is serving Sean.)
Maria: In case I haven't told you this. You dine n' dash here, you die.
(Sean reaches into his pocket and lays money on the table.)
Maria: Is there a tip in there?
Sean: Just give me the burger.
Maria: How about a little talk, hmmm? Alright, in our house there are rules, and as strange, unimaginable, and bizarre as it may seem - we live our lives by these very simple rules.
Sean: Okay.
Maria: Rule one, toilet seat is left down. Rule two, underwear are not left on the floor, no. Rule three, milk is poured into a glass, not directly consumed by the carton. Rule four -
Sean: There a lot of these rules?
Maria: Don't worry, I'll write them down for you, assuming of course, that you can read.
Sean: Of course.
Maria: Now, pay attention please. Rule four is very important. Leave Liz alone.
Sean: Why, is she part of that house too or something?
Maria: I am not kidding, Sean. She is way off limits to you. Okay? Way, way, off limits.
Sean: Way.
Maria: Look, I saw the way you looked at her, alright? ‘All grown up. I like it' No, it's not going to happen, Sean.
Sean: Okay.
Maria: She's in a very delicate and fragile place in her life right now.
(We hear Liz yelling off camera)
Liz: Dammit Eddie, where's my order?
(Sean looks questioningly at Maria)
Maria: I'm serious.
Sean: I hear you, alright? Leave her alone. I get it. What do you want from me?
Maria: I'll give you the list by the end of the day.
(Switch to Isabel in her room. She lies on her bed and tries to dreamwalk. After some restless tossing she sees the blond girl again being dragged in the forest. This time we see the face of the man and it is Grant Sorenson. Isabel wakes up very upset and Max is shaking her.)
Isabel: No! Oh, no! It can't be!
Max: You started crying Isabel. What happened?
Isabel: No, Oh God! It's Grant! It's Grant. I saw him. I saw him. Oh God! Oh God. No.
(Change to Valenti's Office, where Isabel and Max are talking to the Sheriff.)
Valenti: Sorenson?
Isabel: I'm positive.
Valenti: Alright, I'll take care of it.
Max: You want us to help?
Valenti: Not this time.
(Switch to a daytime sh*t of a golf course. Valenti is calling to a judge who is playing golf.)
Valenti: Your honor! Your honor!
Judge: Hello, Sheriff.
Valenti: The woman who came forward is positive she saw Grant Sorenson with Melissa Foster.
Judge: You have a history with this Sorenson character don't you? Uh, he filed a complaint?
Valenti: That was a misunderstanding, sir.
Judge: Yeah, you searched his room without a warrant, shoving a g*n in his face.
Valenti: Your honor! Your honor! A girl could be dying here!
Judge: You hurry and get me probable cause, then you'll get your warrant; otherwise, you're ruining my handicap.
(Change to Grant Sorenson's campsite as The Sheriff and Hansen drive up.)
Valenti: Check the car. We're looking for a large vinyl bag; seven foot by three.
Grant: What the hell's going on here?
Valenti: We need to do a little looking around Mr. Sorenson.
Grant: For what? My igneous rock collection?
Valenti: Do you know Melissa Foster?
Grant: I heard she was. . . What is this? Every time someone disappears I become your number one suspect?
Valenti: What were you doing last Friday night?
Grant: I drove to Carlsbad. That's the opposite direction from Santa Fe. VALENTI: How did you know Miss Foster went to Santa Fe?
Grant: It's common knowledge. The whole town is talking. Sherrif, you got a warrant?
Valenti: What were you doing in Carlsbad?
Grant: I went to pick up some equipment.
Valenti: We heard you were out here in the middle of the night.
Grant: That's not a crime.
Valenti: Depends upon what you were doing.
(Valenti comes to Grant's tent and opens the flap. He sees a large black vinyl bag like the one in Isabel's visions, and pulls it out.)
Grant: Don't touch that.
Valenti: What are you doing with this bag?
Grant: Transporting equipment.
Valenti: I need to see what's inside it. Open it up.
Grant: I can't do that.
Valenti: Well if you won't then I will. Step aside.
Grant: Sheriff, this is ridiculous.
Valenti: Back off!
(Grant moves aside and the sheriff unzips the bag to find equipment.)
Valenti: What is this?
Grant: It's equipment, photosensitive equipment. They use it in caverns like in Carlsbad. That's why I work at nights. It's the only time to get proper readings. You don't have a warrant do you?
(Switch to Valenti's office where Dan is waiting for him.)
Valenti: Dan.
Dan: Okay, cards on the table, Jimbo. What's going on here?
Valenti: I'm in the middle of an investigation.
Dan: Where you been the last four hours?
Valenti: Following a lead. Checking out a suspect. Anymore questions? DAN: Yeah, you get a warrant for Sorenson this time?
Valenti: You always know more than you let on, don't you Dan. I should have remembered that the day you walked through my door.
Dan: It's part of my job, Jimbo, and what I know right now is you disappear for days on end and you spend a lot of time lately with teenage kids. That's awful strange behavior.
Valenti: This isn't about the Hubble case is it? What the hell is going on here?
Dan: The State Board has had you in their watch file for a long time now, what with your reputation for chasing UFO's and what not. But right now it's your own men that are talking, and they want to know what's happened to their sheriff.
Valenti: I don't owe them an explanation.
Dan: You owe me!
(Valenti and Dan start yelling at the same time.)
Dan: You're crossing a lot of lines and I want to know why!
Valenti: I haven't been able to carry on an investigation. A girl's life is on the line.
(The two men are interrupted by a knock on the door.)
Valenti: What!
Hansen: Uh, Sheriff. I'm sorry but, uh. .
(Hansen shows a young blond girl into Valenti's office.)
Dan: Can we help you?
Girl: Yeah, hi. I'm Melissa Foster. I heard you were looking for me.
(Switch to an alley outside the Sheriff's station where Valenti is talking to Max and Isabel.)
Valenti: Girl said her car gave out halfway to Santa Fe. Next day she had it towed. No kidnapper, no needles, no bags and no desert.
(Isabel hangs her head.)
Valenti: Isabel, it's alright. Melissa's safe. Her family's happy. Nobody got hurt.
Max: What about you?
Valenti: I'll have some awkward questions to answer but I'm sure it will blow over.
Isabel: Sheriff, I am so sorry. I don't know how I could have been so wrong. I . . .
Valenti: Hey, you didn't do anything wrong. You have gifts the rest of us don't, and I trust those gifts. And if anything like this ever happens again, I want you to come to me. I'll be fine.
(Back in Valenti's office where Dan and the Judge are questioning him.)
Judge: What the hell is wrong with you? You conduct an illegal search after I say no!
Dan: You know, Sorenson has filed a 15 million-dollar civil suit against the city.
Valenti: For what? Because I ruined his stupid experiment? He's gonna be laughed out of court.
Judge: I'm half tempted to have you thrown into your own jail on a contempt citation.
Valenti: I'm sorry. Okay, I was wrong. I had a hunch. I had to follow it. JUDGE: A hunch! You told me you had a witness!
Dan: You told Judith Foster you had two witnesses! You terrified that family! I spent all day trying to calm them down.
Valenti: There are two witnesses, but I promised them anonymity. I can't break that promise.
Dan: We talking about those kids again.
Valenti: No
Judge: What kids?
Dan: Max and Isabel Evans.
Valenti: This has nothing to do with them.
Judge: Then who? I want names and I want them now.
Valenti: I'm sorry.
Judge: Best find yourself a lawyer.
(Later that night in Isabel's room, where Max is talking to Isabel.)
Max: Isabel, I don't understand this. You've never been wrong about this in the past and we've always gone with your judgement.
Isabel: I don't understand it either, Max. This wasn't something that I planned.
Max: How could this happen.
Isabel: I don't know.
Max: Valenti might be losing his job because of us. Have you thought about that?
Isabel: Of course I have, but what was I suppose to do? Just let her die?
Max: There is no missing girl, Alright! Your dreams were wrong. You were wrong.
Isabel: Don't' you think I know that? Maybe part of me just needed her to be missing.
Max: What do you mean?
Isabel: After everything we've been through, after all the pain that we've caused, I just wanted what we are, what I am, to do something good for a change.
Max: Isabel, you are my sister. You yell at me, you second-guess me, and you piss me off. You also saved my life, and I don't care what we've been through; I still believe in you. I always will. Go get some sleep. You look. . . really bad.
Isabel: Thanks!
(Change to Crashdown same night. Liz, Maria, and Michael are working and Kyle is sitting at the counter. Sean enters.)
Kyle: Tess is openly mocking me now. This morning I woke up with little antennae coming out of my head.
Liz: I don't know what to say. We need professional help.
Sean: Yo, M.
Maria: M? No, see um. . . in the real world we use names. My name is Maria.
Kyle: Who's that?
Michael: Maria's loser cousin Sean.
Sean: Can I get some fries, tough guy?
Michael: No
Maria: Sorry, we're closed. So sorry.
Kyle: Anyway, the point is, I'm just saying It's gonna be OK. I mean we're both obsessed people but we'll get through it. At least we have each other.
Liz: You know, uh, I think the fryer is still warm. I could whip you up some fries.
Sean: Nah, forget it. I'll scrounge something up at home.
(Sean exits.)
Maria: It's not your home. Stop calling it that. You're just passing through. You're not actually thinking. . .
Liz: No, of course not.
Maria: All I try and do is help. Does anybody listen?
Liz: I'm sorry, what were you saying?
Kyle: Nothing. I was just talking to myself. Hey, you got any cousins for me?
(Change to Isabel in bed, same night. She has another vision. She sees more details of where the girl is.)
Isabel: Where am I?
Kidnapped Girl: No, please don't!
Isabel: Max, Max! No, Max. . . Max!
(Attacker takes out a syringe. Isabel screams and begins reacting like the kidnapped girl.)
Isabel: Help me!
(Max enters, sits on Isabels bed and tries to wake her.)
Max: I'm here. Isabel, Isabel wake up.
Isabel: No, please! Don't do this. You don't have to do this. No!
(Isabel wakes up)
Max: Isabel, are you alright?
Isabel: Oh my God.
(Move to Valenti's office the same night. Dan enters.)
Dan: Judith Foster is filing a grievance with the State police board. She wants a formal investigation into you actions.
Valenti: I wonder who put that idea in her head?
Dan: Lot a questions here, Jimbo. Time for you to start thinkin' of some answers.
Valenti: Talk to my lawyer.
(Phone rings)
Valenti: Sheriff Valenti.
Max: It's not over.
Valenti: You wanna explain that to me.
Max: It's not Melissa Foster. It's some other girl. She's in Fraizer Woods in the clearing outside the abandoned pump house. We have to go right now.
(Valenti pauses and looks up at Dan.)
Max: Sheriff?
Valenti: Where are you now Deputy?
Max: We're at our house. We'll meet you on Clark's street, near the Crashdown.
Valenti: Stay where you are. I'll take care of it.
Max: No, we're going with you. Can you meet us?
Valenti: Yeah, I'll meet you there deputy.
(The Sheriff hangs up.)
Dan: Do deputies always call you on your private line?
Valenti: I'll talk to you in the morning.
Dan: You know your Daddy went down just like this. Got some fool notion into his head, ignored the law and his friends, and ended up handing over his badge.
Valenti: Is that a thr*at?
Dan: If that phone call was from those kids, consider it a warning.
(Move to Frazier Woods. Max, Isabel, and Valenti are searching with flashlights.)
Isabel: This is it.
Max: Ok, we're here. Now what?
Isabel: I don't know. I don't know. She's here. She's here somewhere. VALENTI: You kidnap a girl. You bring her out here and then you. . . Max: What is it?
Valenti: It's a molehill.
Max: So?
Valenti: It's an awfully straight line for a molehill.
(Valenti reaches down and finds a tube. He pulls it up and follows along it until he comes to a strange apparatus.)
Valenti: Oxygen t*nk
Isabel: Oh my God.
Valenti: Come on.
(Valenti follows the tube back the other direction until it finally disappears deep into the ground.)
Isabel: Oh God, she's under here.
(They dig frantically with their hands. We see someone watching them through the cross hairs of a g*n scope.)
Max: Watch the head.
Isabel: Oh my God.
(They unearth a clear plastic box around the buried girl's head.)
Isabel: What did they do to her?
Max: I don't know.
Valenti: She's going into shock.
Isabel: We've got you. What did they do?
Max: Isabel, can you get this thing off?
Isabel: Yes.
Valenti: Hurry, Hurry. Get it off.
(The rifleman sh**t and hits the ground near them. Max jumps up and puts up his protective shield. Valenti pulls out his g*n and aims toward where the sh*ts came from. The masked man fires again, but the b*llet bounces off the shield.)
Max: Isabel, hurry!
(Isabel tries to lift the box off the girl's head while another b*llet bounces off Max's shield.)
Valenti: Max, I see the sh**t.
Max: I can't keep this up.
Isabel: I almost have it.
(Another sh*t bounces off.)
Isabel: I've got it.
Max: You see him?
Valenti: Yeah. . . Ready? Go!
(Max withdraws the shield. Valenti fires several sh*ts and hits the sh**t. The sh**t is only wounded and runs away. A flashlight appears behind Valenti, Max, and Isabel.)
Dan: Freeze!
Valenti: Dan, It's me!
Dan: What the hell's going on here? Who are you sh**t' at?
Valenti: Kidnapper.
Dan: What kidnapper?
Valenti: We found our missing girl.
(Max and Isabel look at each other nervously while Dan walks over and sees the girl. Dan removes his coat to cover her. The girl is crying.)
(Later. More police have arrived and an ambulance. The kidnapped girl, Laurie, is on a stretcher.)
Laurie: (very emotional) I never saw his face. I was coming down to visit my grandparents in Roswell when he . . . came up behind me on the street. . .
Valenti: Laurie, I'm going to have someone watch over you round the clock until your parents arrive. You're safe now. I promise.
Laurie: How did you know to find me out here?
Valenti: Someone heard you cry out for help.
(Paramedics take Laurie away. Isabel follows her and Dan approaches the Sheriff.)
Dan: How'd you find her?
Valenti: Good police work.
Dan: Aw, come on. You can do better than that. What were those kids doin' out here?
Valenti: Nothing. They were just along for the ride.
Dan: Along for the ride? You tellin' me that you took two minors with you on a ride along? That alone is enough to get you suspended.
Valenti: I'll take the suspension. You leave the kids out of this.
(Hansen approaches with a small plastic bag.)
Hansen: Sheriff, look at this.
Valenti: Our sh**t's b*ll*ts.
Hansen: Yes, but there's no laceration or impact. They're in perfect shape.
Dan: That's impossible, physically impossible. Thanks. Deputy, I'll take care of these.
Valenti: I'm as baffled as you are.
Dan: Nah, nah, you're not. You're a good cop, Jimbo, but you don't lie very well, and whatever you're coverin' up I'm going to find it out. You can count on it.
(We move over to Laurie and Isabel.)
Laurie: Who are you?
Isabel: Isabel.
Laurie: You saved my life. Thank you.
(Isabel takes her hand then has a flash of blue cell like things. Laurie is loaded into the ambulance.)
Max: Ready to go home? Isabel?
Isabel: There's something about her, Max.
Max: What do you mean?
Isabel: It's like I know her.
(Episode ends with them looking after the ambulance as it pulls away.) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x11 - To Serve and Protect"} | foreverdreaming |
"We Are Family"
Episode: 12
34th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA12
Written by: Gretchen J. Berg, Aaron Harberts
Original Air Date: Monday January 29, 2001
(Episode opens with Valenti in the Sheriff's office giving a statement to the Judge about finding Laurie in the woods. Max and Liz are in the lobby with Deputy Hanson doing the same.)
Isabel: Ahem.
Hanson: About what time did you arrive at the scene?
Max: 9:30.
Sheriff: Shortly after 10 p.m.
Dan: How exactly did you locate that girl?
Sheriff: I, uh...I spotted the oxygen t*nk.
Isabel: We heard her screaming.
Dan: How many sh*ts were fired?
Sheriff: 4...from the north.
Max: 6?
Dan: What were you kids doing in those woods?
Max: We were, um...uh, hiking.
Sheriff: The Evans kids were on their way back from the library when their car broke down. I was, uh...I was giving them a lift when the call came in.
Judge: Jim, didn't you say you got to the scene after 10:00? I may be wrong, but I think our library closes at 8:00.
Hanson: Okay, that's it for now. Your parents have been notified, and they're expecting you at home. Deputy Carter will take you.
Max: Can we see the Sheriff?
Hanson: Sorry, kids. Not right now.
[Valenti and Lubetkin shouting]
Sheriff: Oh, this whole thing is a load of crap.
Dan: Your abuse of procedure shows a complete...
Sheriff: Wait one damn second! Police work saved that woman's life tonight.
Judge: Mr. Lubetkin...
Judge (to Sheriff): Have your report on my desk by 10 a.m. tomorrow morning. Jim...policy dictates that...umm...we set a hearing of the city council to discuss this.
Sheriff: Well, whatever policy dictates.
Judge: You're burnt out. You need a break. Give me your badge and your g*n. You're officially suspended until this week's hearing.
(At the hospital where Laurie was taken)
Nurse: There she is. Did you have a good rest?
Laurie: You...saved my life?
Nurse: No, the people who found you did. There are some...uh...folks from the Sheriff's department who'd like to talk to you when you're feeling up to it. I can tell them to wait. Can I get you anything, sweetie?
Laurie: Juice.
P.A.: Dr. Kravitz, you have a visitor in the main lobby.
Tess: The sexual dysfunction unit's that way.
Michael: Funny.
Tess: Ok, according to the bloodwork and X-rays, Laurie is human.
Michael: That's impossible. Why did Isabel have a flash when she touched her?
Tess: I don't know. We got the info Max wanted. Let's just get out of here. This polyester number is not working for me.
Michael: Not until I get a look at her.
Tess: Don't even think about it. Michael! Michael!
(Opening credits)
(The next morning at the Valenti home. Someone is knocking persistently on the door)
Duff: Sheriff Valenti?
Sheriff: Yeah?
Duff: Agent Suzanne Duff, FBI. Good. You're showered.
Sheriff: Can I help you?
Duff: Yeah, I think so. Laurie Dupree is missing again.
Sheriff: Yeah, I'm aware of that.
Duff: And in the interest of locating her and catching her attacker, Judge Lewis has agreed to let me bring you back in on the case. You got any more half and half?
Sheriff: Uh, no.
Duff: Here are the conditions. You're still suspended, so I call the sh*ts. You follow my lead, and you get my back when I need it.
Sheriff: My lucky day.
Duff: Well, hey...it beats watching Oprah.
Sheriff: Listen, Agent Duff...I've got a whole bullpen full of deputies down there who would love to be your gopher.
Duff: You know what, I appreciate honesty. So, I'm gonna be straight. This is my second case. My first was an interstate kidnapping that went off without a hitch. I like to catch criminals, and I want to make assistant director by the time I'm 35. That means busting my butt and asking for help when I need it. So?
Sheriff: That's honesty.
Duff: And here's some more. You make a horrendous cup of coffee.
Sheriff: Yeah? Wait'll you taste what we make down at the station. Come on. We got a girl to find.
(At school, Alex surprises Maria)
Alex: "Javlar, jag missade bussen."
Maria: Oh, my God! Alex! Oh, my God! I missed you so much! How was your trip home?
Alex: Oh, well, the flight from Stockholm was, like, 10 hours late. Yeah, "vilken javla rora". Oh. "What a bloody mess".
(Liz walks over to greet Alex)
Liz: Oh, Alex, hey!
Alex: Hi!
Liz: We...oh, uh..."hur ar det"? I looked up Swedish web sites while you were gone.
Alex: Well, then, in that case "tack bra".
Liz: Thank you. Oh, did you see the midnight sun?
Maria: Ok, stop hogging him, Frieda. So, were the Viking guys hot, huh?
Alex: Well, you can decide that after you see my slides.
Liz: Ooh! I'm so excited!
Alex: So, how is everybody here?
Liz: Umm...uh, Sheriff Valenti...he was suspended last night. It was in this morning's paper. Well, what...
Maria: Did they find that girl, by the way, who escaped from the hospital?
Liz: Umm, no, and people are saying that, you know, whoever kidnapped her may have come back.
(Maria spies Max off to the side)
Maria: Oh, um, ahem. Look. Max. He needs you.
Liz: Ok. Umm, Alex, it's so good to see you. I'll see you guys later.
Alex: I've been gone one month.
Maria: Let's h*t the vending machines. I'll catch you up.
Liz: Max, are you okay? I read about what happened. How's Isabel?
Max: We're fine. It's Valenti I'm worried about. I can't even get him on the phone.
Liz: I'm sorry. This is really awful.
Max: Kyle...
(Kyle avoids Max and walks away)
(Kyle shows up at his dad's office and drops a bag on his desk)
Kyle: Chicken sandwich, extra mayo. So...were you gonna talk to me about the front page of the newspaper...
Sheriff: Kyle, of course I was gonna talk to you about it. I will talk to you about it. Umm...I've just been brought back here as kind of glorified secretary, so my time isn't really my own.
Kyle: Some pal Judge Lewis turned out to be.
Sheriff: He doesn't know what we know.
Kyle: I know, but it pisses me off that we can't tell him the truth.
Sheriff: Well, as you kids say, it sucks big.
Duff: Sheriff, where the hell is that background report I asked you for?
Sheriff: Agent Duff, this is my son Kyle. Kyle, Agent Duff from the FBI.
Duff: Hi. Nice to meet you. You look just like your father.
Kyle: Thank you. Well, I, uh, I gotta go. I'm late for class.
Duff: Right. It's nice to meet you.
(Kyle leaves)
Sheriff: Yeah, can I see those?
Duff: Mmm-hmm. We've got a pretty decent shoe print at the burial site and synthetic fibers pulled from the duct tape that bound the girl. And what's the update on Laurie Dupree?
Sheriff: My guys are sifting through the prints from her hospital room right now. Her last address was the Pinecrest Psychiatric Hospital, Brownsfield, Texas. Paranoid schizophrenic. No parents or guardians on record. And she ran away from there one week before the kidnapping. Her doctors are faxing her records.
Duff: CC those to me.
Sheriff: Right.
(Sheriff Valenti gets paged by Michael. He meets Michael at the burial site)
Michael: This wasn't here last night.
Sheriff: So, why the hell are you poking around a closed crime scene?
Michael: If I don't look after us, who will?
Sheriff: Anyone see you?
Michael: No.
Sheriff: Are you sure? Listen, Michael, you can't be doing this anymore. The FBI is involved. This is how trouble starts. You got it?
Michael: Yeah.
Sheriff: If I need anything, I'll call you.
(At the Crashdown, Liz is clearing off the table that Max was sitting at)
Max: Uh, I wasn't done.
Liz: Oh. Ok. It's late.
Max: Did you study for history?
Liz: Uh, yeah. I was going to once my shift ended.
Max: Can I have another Coke?
Liz: Max, you've been sitting here since 6:00.
Max: I don't wanna go home. There's someone dangerous in our town, Liz. Someone who'd do that to a defenseless person.
Liz: That's why you're here. You're worried about me. Thank you.
(Sean knocks on the front door of the Crashdown)
Liz: One second.
Sean: I would k*ll for some Chili Orbit Rings.
Liz: I'm sorry, Sean, but the kitchen's closed.
Sean: Come on. Ok, ok...umm, Asteroid Pie.
Liz: Uh, the last piece went at 6:00.
Sean: Why do you gotta be so cruel, Parker?
Liz: Just come back tomorrow, Sean, okay? I'll give you 10% off.
Sean: 20.
Liz: Good night, Sean.
(Sean leaves and Liz goes back over to Max)
Liz: Ok, um, you know what...my books are upstairs, and there are 2 pieces of Asteroid Pie left in the fridge. You can stay as long as you like.
(Sheriff Valenti arrives at home and opens the closet to hang up his coat. Laurie Dupree is hiding there)
Laurie: Aah! Stop looking for me! Please!
(Switch to the outside of Liz's room, where Alex is setting up the slide projector to show Liz, Maria, and Isabel slides of his trip)
Isabel: I can't stop thinking about her.
Liz: Well, I'm glad you came.
Isabel: So am I. Thanks, I really needed this.
Maria: Ok, an appetizer of swedish fish. These are lundstrom bowls from IKEA. And a smorgasbord will follow if it doesn't freeze.
Alex: Yeah, you know what? You guys are sissies, 'cause after a winter in Sweden, this weather is downright balmy.
Isabel: That's a lot of slide carousels, Alex.
Alex: Yeah, well, you know, I wanted you guys to feel like you had been there, too.
(Switch back to Laurie and Sheriff Valenti)
Sheriff: Laurie, you need to see a doctor.
Laurie: No, no, no. Th-they get into hospitals.
Sheriff: Don't be afraid. A lot of people want to help you.
Laurie: No, no! No one can know I'm here, just you. Y-you found me. If you were working for them, you wouldn't have saved me. Can I trust you?
Sheriff: Yes. You can trust me. Come on. Now, are you talking about the person that did this to you? Was there more than one?
Laurie: Everyone keeps asking me about the man who took me. Is he tall or short or fat or thin? But it wasn't a man. It was a them. They're not from here.
(Agent Duff calls Sheriff Valenti on the phone)
Sheriff: Yeah?
Duff: I just found out that there's been a construction crew working on that whole stretch of highway leading into Frazier Woods. The entire g*ng's on their way in for interviews so I'm gonna need your help.
Sheriff: This can't wait till tomorrow?
Duff: Not when I'm calling the sh*ts. I thought we had an agreement, Sheriff. Can I count on you or not?
Sheriff: Yeah, I'll be right there.
Laurie: Y-you're leaving?
Sheriff: Not just yet. Listen, if you can trust me, then you can trust the people that I say are okay, right?
(Switch back to Liz's place. Sheriff Valenti calls and Liz answers)
Liz: Oh, I'll get it, I'll get it. Uh, hello. Oh, yeah, hi, Sheriff. Um, yeah, of course. Hold on one second. Isabel, it's for you.
Isabel: Hello? Aw, man. Yeah, okay, I'll be right there.
Liz: Isabel, is everything okay?
Isabel: Yeah, um, sure. Valenti just needs me to do something for him. I am so sorry, Alex.
Alex: Don't worry about it.
Isabel: Maybe we can do this some other time.
Alex: Yeah, yeah, just let me know when it's good for you.
Isabel: Well, I think your trip really agreed with you. You look great.
Alex: Thanks. Yeah, I feel great. See you around.
Isabel: Yeah, see you guys later.
Liz & Maria: Bye.
(Isabel leaves)
Alex: Hey, Liz, do you have an extension cord?
Liz: Oh, yeah, I do. I'll go get it.
(Liz walks down the stairs and notices Sean munching away on some food)
Liz: Excuse me, what are you doing here?
Sean: I was hungry. The...uh...auto show's in town this weekend.
Liz: Uh-huh?
Sean: I was gonna go.
Liz: Where is that extension cord?
(Liz rummages around looking for the cord. Sean sees it and offers it to her)
Sean: So, uh, you wanna go?
Liz: Umm, I don't know. Cars are, you know, I just...maybe I will check it out.
Sean: With me?
Liz: Oh.
(Alex comes down the stairs looking for Liz)
Alex: Hey...uh, Liz, do you have some Windex or something? The lens is dirty. Sean.
Sean: Alice.
Alex: Hey, that's funny. I haven't heard that since they put you away.
Liz: In the kitchen?
Alex: Thanks.
Liz: Yeah, um, you know, thank you very much for the invitation, but I don't think I can go.
Sean: The, uh...the guy who was in there with you before?
Liz: Max. Well, yeah...it's just that we're, um, we're, you know...we're semi-involved, and it's not that it's romantic right now, but it has been in the past, and I just don't know about the future. We're friends. You know, we're friends plus.
Sean: No sweat. Thanks for dinner.
Alex: Hey, Parker, let's go.
(Switch to the grocery store. Kyle and Tess are shopping and they overhear some old ladies badmouthing Sheriff Valenti)
Kyle: Grab me some Skittles.
Tess: Hmm?
Kyle: No, you're not dumping this stuff on the candy.
Tess: Yes, I am.
Woman One: 2 minors in the Sheriff's patrol car, and I heard one missed taking a b*llet by inches. It's crazy behavior, plain and simple.
Woman Two: Well, his dad was a loon, and that type of thing's hereditary. And am I the only one wondering why he's escorting children through a deserted wood in the middle of the night?
Woman One: Well, have you seen the Evans girl? Looks like a supermodel..."trouble" written all over her.
Amy: Well, Nancy Anne, you'd be the expert on statutory r*pe. I mean, you must have done a ton of research when you found out your husband was sleeping with the baby-sitter, right? Oh, well, one thing you obviously know nothing about is Jim Valenti. Otherwise, you wouldn't be talking such trash. This and 2 scratch-off lottery tickets, please.
(Back at Valenti's place, Isabel is watching over Laurie)
Isabel: Laurie, stop. Your hands are bleeding.
Laurie: No, no, I have to get them out. They put them under there. That's what they do to me.
Isabel: What do they do?
Laurie: I'm so cold. I'm so cold.
Isabel: Laurie...what did they do to you? LAURIE: Put needles in me. Put stuff inside. See?
Isabel: I don't see anything.
Laurie: I-It's there. I'm not crazy. They put me in a mental hospital, but I didn't belong there.
(Someone knocks on the front door)
Isabel: Laurie, go into the bedroom, oK? Until I tell you it's all right.
(Isabel opens the door. Max and Michael come inside)
Max: We got a message from Valenti. What's going on?
Isabel: Laurie Dupree is here.
(They walk over to the bedroom door and Isabel knocks)
Isabel: Laurie? Laurie, you can come out. It's ok. You remember Max. He was there that night. This is our friend Michael.
Michael: Hey.
(Laurie looks as if she's seen a ghost. She becomes hysterical)
Laurie: Ohh! You stay away from me! You're d*ad! You're d*ad!
(Laurie shuts the door and locks it)
Isabel: No, Laurie! Laurie! Laurie! Laurie! Damn it!
(Laurie climbs out the window and starts running around outside)
Laurie: Help, help! Help me! Help! Help! Hey, hey! Help, help! Somebody! Somebody, help me!
(At the Sheriff station)
Sheriff: Listen, unless there's anything else...
Duff: Oh, no. No, I'm just gonna finish up some paperwork, so, I'll see you tomorrow.
Sheriff: Right.
(Isabel calls Sheriff Valenti's cell phone)
Sheriff: Yeah?
Isabel: Sheriff, she just took off! She just ran. Max and Michael are trying to catch her.
Sheriff: I'm on my way.
(The phone rings and Agent Duff answers)
Duff: Sheriff's department. What? Where?
(Laurie is running around erratically, screaming as she runs. Suddenly, Michael steps out and grabs her as she runs into him)
Michael: Hey, don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt you.
Laurie: No!
Michael: Settle down!
[brakes squealing]
Driver: Are you all right?
Laurie: Help me. Help me! The aliens are coming. Help me, they're coming! The aliens are coming.
(The police cars arrive on the scene)
Laurie: Oh, no.
Sheriff: Step back.
Laurie: At his house! The aliens came to his house! The aliens are at his house. He held me there so they can come get me.
Sheriff: People, walk away now. Let's go.
Laurie: He said I'd be safe, that I could trust him.
Sheriff: She doesn't know what she's talking about.
Laurie: He told me he'd protect me. I was hiding in his house. 14 Olive Street. Brown couch...brown couch, green curtains, green checkered...checkered wallpaper. The aliens are his friends.
Duff: Is this true? Was she there? Is this true?
(Sheriff Valenti doesn't answer)
Duff: Our arrangement is over, Sheriff.
(Later, at the Sheriff station, Duff fires some questions at Sheriff Valenti)
Duff: How'd you find her?
Sheriff: I didn't. She came to me.
Duff: And in that moment, a bell didn't go off in your head to call...I don't know, the police? Or here's a thought...me.
(Agent Duff places a recorder on the table and turns it on)
Duff: What's your relationship with the kids in this town, Sheriff?
Sheriff: You had your chance to ask questions when my lawyer was here.
(Agent Duff turns off the recorder)
Duff: You hindered an investigation. You will lose your job.
Sheriff: Agent Duff...I understand why you're coming down like this. And if I were in your shoes, I would do the same. But don't b*at yourself up for trusting me. It may not look like it now, but I am one of the good guys.
(Back outside Liz's room, Alex and Liz are watching Alex's slides)
Liz: I just wish kyle would understand where Max is coming from.
Alex: Well, you know, I guess some things don't change in a month. Liz: It's too bad.
Alex: Ok. this is my host family, the Olsons, and they live in Uppsala which is just north of Stockholm, and that is Johan, Gustav, Rebecka, Mattias, and little Kiki.
Liz: You know, on the other hand, Kyle has every right to be angry. This is complicated. Sorry.
Alex: No problem.
Liz: Ok. Spill.
Alex: That's Leanna. Me and her have a long distance thing going. Hey, speaking of which, what is up with you and Sean de Luca?
Liz: That's gross!
Alex: No, come on. Don't lie to me, all right? I saw the two of you, and there was a twinkle.
Liz: No. No, I can assure you there's absolutely no twinkle. And what about you? That was pretty smooth playing it cool with Isabel last night. I think her interest was piqued.
Alex: Well, you know what? Isabel is great, but lusting after her is something the old Alex Whitman would do. The new Alex Whitman snowboarded on that very mountain...almost broke his wrist.
Liz: Do I know you?
Alex: Uh, well, yeah...yeah, you do. But I know what you mean. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself.
(Alex advances to the next slide and Liz gasps in awe)
Liz: Oh, my God.
Alex: Yeah, the northern lights. I can't describe it. Basically what it is is you're looking up there, and you're actually seeing electrons from the sun colliding with our atmosphere in every color you could possibly imagine. Really makes you realize what a big world is out there. All these...all these possibilities. All these...new experiences. Life. It's all just there...waiting for us. You really gotta travel, Liz. It's the most amazing thing.
Liz: Yeah. someday.
Alex: Right. When there's not so much goin' on.
(At school, Max goes up to Kyle)
Max: Can we talk?
Kyle: No.
Max: Look...I'm sorry about what's happening.
Kyle: There's gonna be a hearing. They might take away his job.
Max: Kyle, your dad has some stuff in his office, stuff that Michael found out at that burial site. It's alien. And if that agent starts poking around...
Kyle: You might be exposed? What a shame.
Max: Your father could be nailed for withholding evidence. It would only make things worse for him.
Kyle: So take care of it.
Max: I'm already on their radar. This is the safest way to do this. No one will think twice if you walk into that office. Kyle, we need your help.
(We see Liz waiting around in an empty room. Max comes in)
Max: I got your note. What's wrong?
Liz: Nothing. No. No, um...that's not true. Umm...I've just been thinking a lot lately, and...have you ever wanted to see Sweden?
Max: Sweden?
Liz: I mean or anywhere. Peru, Nigeria, New Zealand...
Max: Sure. But the closest I'm gonna get right now is the granilith chamber. Why?
Liz: Watching Alex this week...I just realized that...it's our right to see the world, to live our dreams...
Max: Liz, that can't happen.
Liz: Live life. Why?
Max: Because it doesn't work that way for us. You know that.
Liz: You and Isabel and Michael and Tess are...you guys are getting cheated on a lot of things, and it's not fair. None of it is.
Max: Liz, you...should get to see Sweden. We...I...hold you back.
Liz: No, Max.
Max: Kyle was right.
Liz: That's not true.
Max: Everyone we touch gets hurt in some way or another. 5 years from now, I don't want you to open your eyes and realize that...that you missed out. You're part of the group. You always will be. But you need to be allowed to...to grow.
Liz: Why can't you come with me?
Max: Because I can't. But I'll be watching you, Liz Parker. Wherever you go...and I'll be here when you get back.
(Kyle sneaks into his dad's office. He starts searching around and finds a glowing alien crystal hidden inside a tobacco bag. Agent Duff happens to open the door at that moment, startling him)
Duff: Kyle.
Kyle: Agent Duff.
Duff: You shouldn't be in here.
Kyle: I know. Uh...my dad's supposed to sign my report card. I gave it to him a week ago. It's due tomorrow.
Duff: You're sure it's here?
Kyle: Should be. Yeah.
Duff: What are you really looking for, Kyle?
(Kyle grabs a blank piece of paper in front of him and folds it in half)
Kyle: Here it is right in front of me.
Duff: Well, let's see how you're doing.
(Kyle hands over the piece of paper. Agent Duff looks it over and hands it back)
Duff: I didn't like trigonometry either.
(Kyle leaves the office and takes a look at the paper. It does look like a report card. Suddenly, the print starts to fade away. We see Tess waiting for him in the hallway)
Kyle: Oh! What are you doing here?
Tess: I figured you might need a little help.
Kyle: Don't ever use your mind freeze.
Tess: Warp.
Kyle: Whatever! Your creepy powers on me again! All right? Off limits!
Tess: You know, a simple thanks for saving my butt would be quiet sufficient.
Kyle: I mean it.
(Kyle and Tess leave)
(Meanwhile, Sheriff Valenti is sitting outside a room where the city council has met to decide what to do with him)
Judge: A town's reputation is made by those entrusted to enforce its laws and maintain order. Sheriff Valenti has shown of late that he can do neither. Therefore, it is the recommendation of the council that he be removed from office, effective immediately. All those in favor?
Council Members: Aye.
Judge: Opposed?
(No one objects)
Judge: So be it.
(Back at the Crashdown)
Sorry we're late.
What's wrong?
They fired Sheriff Valenti.
Max: No.
Isabel: They can't. They can't just f*re a Sheriff.
Kyle: They can if they're the city council. In the past year, my dad and I have been put through an amazing amount of your crap. You and your Martian friends move in, take over, and obliterate any shred of normalcy. Our lives are no longer ours. Promise me you're gonna stay away from my family. Promise me this is the last time we have to put ourselves on the line for you.
Max: I can't.
(Kyle extends his hand, offering Max the bag with the alien substance inside. Max reaches out for it, but Kyle drops it on the groun and starts walking away)
(Back in Max's room, Michael is wondering how they can figure out what the alien substance is. Max and Isabel both look glum)
Michael: So how do we figure out what this is? Hey, paging the Evans.
Isabel: What's Valenti gonna do? You know, it's not like he can just go and be Sheriff somewhere else.
Max: He gave up everything for us.
Michael: He gave up a crappy job with low pay and long hours.
Max: Michael...
Michael: What? We were born into this cause. Valenti chose it. Let what he did be worth something.
Max: I think I have an old microscope in the closet. We know what our cells look like. If this stuff isn't from here and it's from out there, there should be similarities.
(Max sets up the microscope, gets a small sample of the substance from Michael, and then looks at it under the microscope)
Max: I don't believe this.
Michael: What?
Max: It looks like they're pulsating.
(It's the next morning. Sheriff Valenti is sleeping in bed. Someone starts knocking at his door. He grumbles and goes to answer the door)
Sheriff: Ohh...I told you before, Ethel, I don't want any of your damn pamphlets. Ouch!
(Sheriff Valenti opens the door to find Amy de Luca. She has a picnic basket with her)
Sheriff: Amy!
Amy: Cahoun Park has a power boat with our names all over it.
Sheriff: In january.
Amy: No lines!
Sheriff: Listen, I, uh...I appreciate the invite, Amy. I'm just kinda busy today, so...
Amy: Oh! Doin' what?
Sheriff: Gutters. I'm cleaning the gutters.
Amy: Really? Well, I'll help you out with that, then.
Sheriff: Oh, thanks...ha. But...it's all right.
Amy: Oh, cut it out, Jim. Let me be your friend. I have a k*ller potato salad in here, and it's not supposed to rain til the weekend.
(At the Crashdown, Liz delivers a plate of food to Sean)
Sean: You look like road k*ll.
Liz: You know, for your information, Sean, I had and I'm still having a really horrible day.
Sean: You wanna sit?
Liz: No. Thank you.
Sean: You need to write what's bothering you in mustard.
Liz: Excuse me?
Sean: Sit, sit, sit. Ahem. It's my aunt Amy's trick. You squirt it right there on that beautiful ground beef patty, chow down...problem's gone.
Liz: Don't tell me you did this in juvie.
Sean: It was harder. They had mustard packets. Here. Go ahead. I won't look.
(Liz grabs the mustard bottle and writes out "grow" on the hamburger and then takes a bite)
Sean: Better?
Liz: Mmm-hmm...a little bit.
(We see Amy and Jim sitting in a car)
Sheriff: Thanks for adopting me as your charity case today.
Amy: Oh, don't you dare do that. This had nothing to do with charity.
Sheriff: Yeah, sure.
Amy: I came to your house today, because I wanted to spend my day with a really good man...and a really good kisser.
(They kiss)
(Switch to the Valenti home. Kyle is looking around for something in the kitchen)
Tess: There's meat loaf in the bottom drawer.
Kyle: I found it.
Tess: My stuff's packed. I'll be gone after school.
Kyle: What?
Tess: Last night, when you said we'd moved in and taken over your life, I realized you were talking about me. I'm sorry I overstayed my welcome.
Kyle: Tess, don't leave.
Tess: It's ok, you know? You have the right to protect your family.
Kyle: You're part of the family I was trying to protect. As far as I can see, you're the only good thing about having an alien in my life.
Tess: Kyle?
Kyle: What?
Tess: You're definitely my favorite human.
Kyle: Yeah, well...you're my favorite Martian.
(Switch to the Pinecrest Psychiatric Hospital. Michael and Isabel are snooping around, trying to find out any information on Laurie Dupree. Michael blasts a window open)
Isabel: You know, you could have just used your foot.
Michael: I could have.
Isabel: Can you imagine being locked up in a place like this?
Michael: This would suck big.
Isabel: Ok...this just doesn't feel right, digging through the intimate details of these people's lives.
(Michael finds a file for Dupree)
Michael: Yes!
(He opens it and it's empty)
Michael: No.
(Isabel searches through some bags)
Isabel: Michael. They're full of personal belongings. Look, here...look at this. My God. That looks just like you!
Michael: It is me.
(Episode ends as the camera focuses in on an old picture of someone who looks exactly like Michael) | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x12 - We Are Family"} | foreverdreaming |
"Disturbing Behavior"
Episode: 13
35th Episode of Roswell
Season: 2
Production Code: 2ADA13
Written by: Ronald D. Moore
Original Air Date: Monday February 5, 2001
Episode begins with Michael and Maria on a roof with binoculars, spying on the sheriff's station.
Maria: Okay, that is freaky.
Michael: Yeah, that's pretty weird, huh?
Maria: Pretty weird, huh? Michael, have you ever even thought of the possibility that this guy more than just looks like you? Like he is you. Like your donor. Like your human side is him. Which means in some weird and twisted way, that he and his relatives are like your family.
Michael: Like Laurie Dupree.
Maria: Exactly.
Michael: It figures. I finally find a family member, and she's a complete whack job.
Maria: Whoa.
Michael: What?
Maria: Someone's in Garrison's Hardware Store.
Michael: Maria, we're supposed to be watching the sheriff's station.
Maria: I think they're having sex!
Michael: (refocusing his binoculars on the hardware store) Whoa.
Switch to Agent Duff questioning Laurie, who's staring off into space
Agent Duff: Laurie, if you help me find the man who did this, I can stop him from hurting someone else like he hurt you. But you have to talk to me. We've been at this for two days. I'm sending you back to Pinecrest, to your old room. We'll have extra security to make sure that you're safe. Tell me everything you know about who did this to you.
Laurie: They're aliens. (pause, then she starts to get frantic) Oh, no. Oh, no!
Agent Duff: What? Laurie, what? What? (looks around the room) What? What is it?
Laurie: They're back.
Agent Duff: Who's back?
Laurie: They're close. They're coming here.
Agent Duff: Who's coming here?
Laurie: I have to get out of here.
She gets up and runs to the door, with Agent Duff trying to head her off
Agent Duff: No! No! Hanson!
Laurie: Aah! They're close.
Agent Duff: Hanson!
Laurie: (reaches the door and starts pounding on it) Let me out of here!
Deputy Hanson and several officers run in to help Agent Duff subdue Laurie.
As she is struggling with the officers, she manages to grab a paper clip from the desk and hide it up her sleeve.
Laurie: No! No! You've got to let me go!
Back to Michael and Maria on the roof
Maria: (laughs) She's not actually going to plug that thing in, is she?
Michael: Go, baby, go! Yeah!
Maria: Sick, man, this town is sick. (turns her attention back tot he sheriff's station) Michael, something's happening.
They watch as Laurie is led out of the station, still struggling, and strapped to a guerney. She's then loaded into an ambulance which takes off.
Michael and Maria follow in the Jetta
Maria: (glancing over at Michael as he's driving) So just to put this out there, I'm assuming that we're back together again?
Michael: I'm not going to get into this relationship stuff right now.
Maria: You don't have to. Actually, I'd prefer that you didn't say anything at all. I'm just telling you that if we're chasing down some crazy girl in the middle of the night, the only reason that I'd do something so nuts is because you and I were dating again.
Michael: Whatever.
Maria: I told you not to say anything.
A third car, unnoticed by Michael and Maria, falls into line behind the Jetta. Meanwhile, in the ambulance Laurie uses the hidden paper clip to get out of her restraints. She takes the guard by surprise and hits him over the head with his g*n.
Ambulance Driver: What's going on back there?!?
Laurie grabs the wheel and attempts to take control of the vehicle.
Ambulance Driver: (as they struggle) Hey! Hey! Hey, lady. What are you doing? What are you doing? Wait!
The ambulance crashes. The Jetta pulls up behind them, and Michael rushes up to the window.
Michael: Hey, can you hear me?! Are you guys all right?!
He doesn't get an answer, so he runs to the back and opens the doors. Laurie stumbles out into his arms, but freaks when she recognizes him.
Michael: Hey. Hey. (LAURIE screams) Easy! Easy! I'm not going to hurt you.
We're here to help you!
Maria: We're here to help--
Laurie knocks Maria over as she takes off running. A figure wearing a ski mask gets out of the third car and starts sh**ting at Laurie.
Michael: (to Laurie, as he catches up to her) Get down! Get down! (to Maria)
Maria, get in the car!
Maria: (as a b*llet just misses her) Aah!
She runs to join Michael and Laurie behind the Jetta, with b*ll*ts still flying. Michael grabs Laurie's face and forces her to listen to him.
Michael: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! (he finally gets her to look at him) Now, you can come with us, or you can stay here and get k*lled. Okay?
Laurie nods.
Michael turns to the sh**t's car and holds out his hand, exploding the car's engine, as Laurie looks on in shock. As the sh**t regroups, Michael opens the car door.
Michael: Come on, quick! Get in the car! Get in the car!
The three teens pile into the car, as the sh**t aims at them once again.
Several sh*ts h*t the car as they take off with a squeal of tires.
[OPENING CREDITS]
Scene switches back and forth between the Evans home and Michael and Maria.
Max and Isabel are on the phone with Michael, who has pulled over to the side of the road out in the desert. Michael and Maria are outside the Jetta, with Laurie locked inside doing her best to get out and tearing up the car in the process. As Michael fills in the Evans, Maria keeps a running tally of the items Laurie is breaking
Television: "...Sources within the county hospital say that the young girl, Laurie Dupree, became agitated while the vehicle was in motion. But what is not clear is how Laurie Dupree released herself from her protective restraints and somehow..."
Max: Where are you?
Michael: I don't know. We're about, uh, 30 miles west of Dexter.
Maria: The side mirror. One hundred bucks, not including labor.
Television: As you can see, there's an abandoned stolen vehicle here. Now, how that figures into this developing story is still unclear.
Isabel: How is she?
Michael: Who, Laurie? She's completely crazy. She tried to jump out of the car three times while it was moving, so I had to use my powers to lock her in. She's basically like a caged animal.
Maria: Sun visor. Fifteen bucks, including labor, of course.
Television: At this hour, a county-wide search for the missing girl is underway. Here is a recent hospital photograph.
Isabel: God. The whole state's going to be looking for her. You can't come back to Roswell, Michael.
Maria: (as Laurie pulls her Walkman off the dashboard) No, no, no, no, no.
Now--now you're hurting all of us.
Max: We can use any information we can get about the crystals. Try and get her talking.
Michael: Oh, yeah. She's a real conversationalist.
Maria: Not the dash! Not the dash! That is a major deal to replace.
Michael hangs up and turns to Maria, who gives him an exasperated look.
Maria: Do you see this?
Michael: (to Laurie) What are you doing?
Meanwhile, at the Valenti house, Kyle and Tess approach Valenti who is doing some woodworking in the garage.
Kyle: Hey, dad.
Valenti: Kyle. Tess.
Kyle: What are you doing?
Valenti: What's it look like?
Kyle: I'm not sure.
Tess: He's-- he's building something. Right?
Valenti: Give the girl a prize. It's been a while since I had time to work on this.
Kyle notices a piece of paper lying next to the workbench and picks it up.
It's a copy of a lawsuit filed against Valenti by Grant Sorenson.
Valenti: The one thing I got plenty of now, it's time.
Kyle: (stunned) Right.
Back at the Evans home, Max is studying the crystals under a microscope in his bedroom when Isabel walks in.
Isabel: Are you getting anywhere?
Max: I think we're dealing with some kind of, uh, alien bacterium... or something.
Isabel: Maybe you should ask your lab partner. She's the science whiz.
Max: I'm trying to keep Liz out of this right now.
Isabel looks worried. Scene switches to the Crashdown, where Isabel, Liz and Alex are discussing the situation.
Alex: So they're driving around aimlessly with a fugitive in the car.
Isabel: No, no, she's not a fugitive. She's just... wanted by the law.
Alex: Interesting distinction.
Isabel: Anyway, they're going to be gone for a couple of days, so we need to cover for them.
Sean hears the tail end of this as he walks up behind them.
Sean: Who may be gone for a couple of days?
Liz: Uh, no one. Um, Sean, we're sort of having a private conversation here, so...
Sean: Aunt Amy's flipping over M being AWOL.
Alex: Great! You want to translate that for, you know, the people that haven't served time?
Sean: Where the hell's Maria?
Liz: Uh, oh, I-- I don't know.
Sean: Well, Aunt Amy's freaked out. She wants to see you soon. Let's go.
Liz: (to the others) Okay, um...I'm going to go over there with Sean and, um, try and keep that situation over there from getting out of hand.
Isabel: Yeah, good idea.
Alex: Yeah, smart move.
Sean: (to Liz, as they're walking away) Nice top. I dig the midriff thing.
Liz: Yeah, shut up, please.
Michael's outside the car talking to Laurie, who's inside ignoring him.
Michael: Laurie, I'm trying to help you, okay? I mean, just tell me if you have any family. How hard is that? Come on! You can trust me! I pulled you out of that ambulance. I saved you from the kidnappers. I mean, what else do I gotta do? (gets frustrated and honks the horn)
Maria: Michael! That's it. Let's go. I'm hungry. Let's go.
Michael: Go? Go where?
Maria: To the roadside cafe. It's the world's worst chili-cheese fries in about 100 miles, but best vanilla shakes in five.
Michael: The cops are looking for her, you know.
Maria: Listen, trust me, even the cops give the roadside a wide berth. It's strictly for us hard-core greasy spoon aficionados.
As Alex and Isabel are leaving the Crashdown, they run into Agent Duff at the door.
Agent Duff: Miss Evans.
Isabel: Hello.
Agent Duff: Agent Suzanne Duff, FBI. (she pulls out her badge)
Scene switches to the sheriff's station, where Isabel is in an interrogation room. Agent Duff walks in.
Isabel: Shouldn't my parents be here?
Agent Duff: You're eighteen. The law says you're an adult now.
Isabel: Well, a lawyer, then.
Agent Duff: Well, why would you need a lawyer? You're not under arrest. Let's just talk-- for a second. Sheriff Valenti knew that Laurie Dupree was missing before a missing person's report was filed. How? He won't say. He also knew how to find her buried underground in the middle of nowhere. How? He won't say. The only link I seem to find is you and your brother. You were seen during the investigation a number of times with the sheriff.
Isabel: I lost my bike that week.
Agent Duff: Oh, I know. No, I heard. And let's just say that I believe that.
That still doesn't explain why you were at the crime scene with the sheriff.
Isabel... what is the big secret, and why can't I be let in on it?
Isabel: I've already answered these questions for Deputy Hanson.
Agent Duff: But you lied to him. (pause) I'm not some local deputy working for a local sheriff. I'm with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. And if you lie to me, you're in deep trouble, young lady.
[Knock on door]
Agent Duff: (annoyed at the interruption) What?
Hansen: Sorry, Agent Duff.
Agent Duff: Deputy Hanson, this is not the ti--
Grant Sorenson walks into the room carrying a g*n.
Agent Duff: Mr. Sorenson, what--what can I do for you?
Grant: I found this in the woods this morning, about a mile east of the crime scene.
Michael, Maria and Laurie are seated at a table at the Roadside diner, with country music playing in the background.
Maria: (as she checks out the menu) Ah, the food that time forgot. I'm assuming that anything out of a can is a safe bet.
Laurie: (out of the blue) I have to go to the bathroom.
Michael and Maria look at each other, stunned that she spokel.
Michael: Fine. Maria.
Maria: What?
Michael: Go with her.
Maria: Are you crazy? Have you ever seen that bathroom? It's one stall and a door. I'm sorry. No, thank you.
Michael: Well, if you don't, she's gonna book. (looks over at Laurie) Isn't that right?
Maria sighs, puts down her menu, looks across the table at Laurie and talks to her as if she's a child.
Maria: Okay, I'm sorry. I've had it. Look. I am not your mommy, and I'm not your doctor. So there is no frickin' way that I'm gonna go in the bathroom with you and hold your hand while you potty. Look. We gotta establish a little trust, all right? You trust us, we trust you. Got it? Look, all we're trying to do is help you escape the evil aliens that wanna bury you in the woods, remember? Is there anybody else out there in the big bad world that's gonna do that for you, hmm? No. See, I didn't think so. So, look, after you answer nature's call in that toxic waste dump of a restroom, you have the choice of either a) rejoining us here at the table with a different attitude for a nice, delicious meal, or b) you can hoof it to the Mexican border. It's about 150 miles thataway. (looks over at the counter) Can we get some service, or what, hmm?
Michael: Do you think that's gonna work?
Maria: Not a chance, but it doesn't matter. The Mexican border's thataway.
Meanwhile, at the DeLuca house...
Liz: I am certain Maria is fine.
Amy: Oh, she called. She went camping again.
Liz: Oh, see? I knew it.
Amy: Do you know what these are, Liz?
Liz: Long johns?
Amy: Maria's long johns. Why would Maria leave her long johns and all of her other winter gear at home if she went camping in the middle of February?
(pause) Here's a theory from someone who's had several hours to muse on it.
She didn't go camping. She lied to her mother, just like she lied to me the other four times she took off for days on end, each time leaving out on the open road another piece of her innocence, and my Jetta. Liz, I consider you a friend... and an extended member of this family, and I value the friendship you have with my daughter very much. But if you don't tell me everything you know about where the hell she is, I'm gonna become very violent with you.
Liz: Mrs. Deluca, she's fine. (pause) She's with Michael.
Amy: I knew it.
Liz: No. But they're just getting away, you know? They're taking in the scenery.
Sean: Yeah, of a cheap motor inn.
Liz: Sean, shut up.
Amy: All right, give me your phone.
Liz: What?
Amy: Hand it over. (Liz hands her the phone) She shut her phone off, but I'm sure she'll be turning it on to call you again. And when she does, I'll be here with you to receive that call. You can sit down. You're not going anywhere till I get my daughter back.
Scene switches to Laurie strolling down the road in the middle of nowhere.
The Jetta pulls up behind her. When she realizes who's in the car, she takes off running, but stops as she realizes it's useless. She then sits down on a fallen log and stares off into space as the other two get out of the car.
Maria: Laurie Dupree! Fancy meetin' you out here. So what's goin' on, huh?
What's happening?
Michael: You okay?
Maria: You know what? Why don't you give those lips a rest and let me have a word with spaceboy, okay? Okay.
Maria pulls Michael off to the side
Maria: Okay, you wanna get through to her? You wanna make a connection here?
This is what you gotta do. You gotta tell her the truth.
Michael: Oh, forget it.
Maria: Look, you wanna know why you look like Grandpa 1935? She has the key.
So, you have two choices, all right? You can let her in on the whole alien conspiracy thing and hope that it shakes something loose from the dusty corners of her brain, or you can... No. You know what? That's not gonna work, so look... You have that one option, all right?
Michael: No, no, no. What's my second option?
Maria: You're not capable of it, I promise.
Michael: Just say it.
Maria: Form an emotional bond with Laurie. (Michael shakes his head) All right, fine. You don't like that answer, then go show her the secret alien handshake.
Michael: (sighs) Okay, fine. What kind of psychobabble, Oprah crap do I gotta tell her?
Maria: I can't put the words in your mouth, Michael. It's gotta come from you. It's gotta come from your-- it's gotta come from whatever organ you have sitting in for your heart. Just go over there and tell her in your own words that she can trust you, and make sure that she feels that you're being completely, emotionally honest.
Michael: Okay, fine.
Maria: All right, you think you can handle it?
Michael: I'm not completely emotionally ret*rd. I have feelings.
Maria: All right, then walk 'em over there and give 'em a workout.
Michael approaches Laurie cautiously, as the scene switches to the Valenti home. Jim is woodworking when Kyle walks in. He looks up and sees his son, and turns off the equipment.
Kyle: Hey, dad.
Valenti: Well?
Kyle: I shouldn't be concerned here, should I? I mean, you're not building a guillotine or something?
Valenti: Huh.
Kyle: I'm not that far off, though, am I? You're k*lling yourself here.
Valenti: I'm doing a little woodwork, that's all. Okay?
Kyle: What are you making?
Valenti: Baseball bat.
Kyle: Baseball bat.
Valenti: Give you one... when I'm done. Always wanted you to have a handmade bat. Thought about it when you were in Little League. I'm, uh... I'm in kind of a dark place here, Kyle. This is gonna take me a little while to work my way out of it. Okay?
Kyle: All right. Tess and I... we're still here. We're just trying to make ends meet, keep our heads above water. (pulls out the lawsuit) Well, if this lawsuit doesn't go away, we'll be in that dark place with you.
Scene switches back to Michael and Laurie. They're both seated on the log, with Laurie staring off into space and Michael trying to get through to her.
Michael: Look, Laurie, I know a lot of people think you're pretty crazy. But the truth is, knowing everything you've been through, you seem pretty normal to me. I just want you to know that whatever you are to me-- a sister, a cousin, whatever-- you're the only family I've ever known, and I just found you. I don't... I don't want to let you go. I know you're scared to death of me, but... if you could find some way to trust me... I mean, I got all kinds of faults. And this one over here, you know (gestures to Maria) she can list them off for you if you want later on, but... the one thing I am is loyal. I will not turn my back on you. That's all I got to say. I don't know.
Laurie: (still staring off into space) You're not my Grandpa, are you?
Michael: No. But I'd like to meet him.
Laurie: Tucson. (finally looks him in the eye)Grandpa's in Tucson, Arizona.
Back at the Evans home. Max has fallen asleep at his desk. As he sleeps, the crystal turns to gel and makes its way across the desk and over his outstretched arm. As Max wakes up, startled, the gel quickly slides off his arm and reverts to its crystal form. Max grabs a container and slams it down over the crystal.
Scene switches back to the DeLuca home, as Liz's cell phone rings.
Amy: Uh...Uh... (trying to figure out to turn the phone on) Liz, I, uh...
Liz: What? Push the but-
Amy finds the button and turns the phone on
Amy: Uh, hello?
Maria: (puzzled) Hello?
Amy: That's right. This is your mother. I confiscated Liz's phone. Where are you?
Maria: I-I'm still in New Mexico, Mom.
Amy: Oh, that's cute. Where are you?
Maria: On our way to Arizona.
Amy: Why?
Maria: We're--we're being free spirits, mom.
Amy: That means you're going to Sedona to get stoned and have sex in the hills?
Maria: Mom!
Amy: Do you think I wasn't seventeen once? Do you think I didn't do crazy, stupid things with a really bad boy when I was your age?
Maria: Yes, I know you did, Mom -- Dad.
Amy: Let me talk to him.
Maria: No. Why?
Amy: Put him on the phone now!
Maria: She wants to talk to you.
Michael: (trying to push the phone away) What? No! Get it-- are you cra--
Hey, Mrs. DeLuca.
Amy: Michael, I want you to listen to me very, very carefully. On this glorious, rebellious, lost weekend of yours, you will take care of my daughter. You will protect her and be kind to her, and she will have fun. You will not get matching tattoos, and you will not allow her to pierce any part of her body that cannot be shown in polite company. [Sniffles] And, Michael, if you have sex with my daughter, I will hunt you down and k*ll you like the mangy dog you are. Okay?
Michael: Okay.
Amy: Call me if you need bail money.
Maria: What'd she say?
Michael: [Sighs] she wants you to have fun.
Amy: (to Liz) Shut this off.
Sean: I think you should call the police.
Liz: Sean!
Sean: I'm just thinkin' about Maria. I don't want anything to happen to her.
Liz: Michael will take care of her, Mrs. Deluca.
Sean: Oh... I don't know. Guerin's a mighty shady character.
Liz: Oh...Look who's talking.
Sean: Me? I'm not shady. I'm, uh... I'm misunderstood.
Sean hits Liz with a throw pillow
Liz: Stop, Sean.
Sean: What's the matter, can't handle it, Parker?
Liz: Sean, stop it.
Sean: No.
Liz: Yes.
Sean: No.
Liz: Yes.
Sean: No.
Liz: Sean... I'm not kidding. Stop.
Sean: No.
Liz: Sean! Stop!
Amy: (as a full-fledged pillow fight breaks out) Okay, okay! I need a drink here. Sit down. Please behave yourselves.
Liz: Sean! Get-- yeah! Stay down!
Amy opens the door to leave and sees Max standing there with his hand up, ready to knock on the door.
Amy: Uh...Hi, Max.
Max: Hi. Uh... is... is Liz here?
Amy: You're not planning to take her across state lines, are you?
Max: No.
Amy: Then, yeah... she's here.
Amy leaves as Max makes his way to the living room.
Liz: (laughing) Stop it! Come on! Stop it! Please get off of me. Get off of--
Sean, get off. Get off!
[Laughing playfully]
Liz: Will you please get off of me! Sean--what? What? Max! Um...
Max: Hi. Um...
Liz: What are you doing here? Is something wrong? (to Sean) Stop.
Max: I...I need your help with something. Science homework.
Liz: Okay. Um... I'm gonna go get my bag. Um... Okay.
Sean: Bye, Liz. Good to see you again.
Liz: Bye, Sean. You, too.
Valenti approaches Sorenson out at his campsite. Sorenson completely ignores him.
Valenti: Sorenson? Hey, listen, I, uh... I came out here to see if we could settle this thing. Uh... I admit I kinda stepped over the line with you, but... It doesn't give you the right to try to destroy my family. Hey. You could do me the courtesy of turnin' around.
Grant: (slowly turns to face Valenti, then suddenly lunges at him) Arrrrhhhh!
Struggle ensues until Grant seems to turn into himself again.
Grant: Don't h*t me. Sheriff, stop! What the hell you doin?!? Stop!
Valenti bursts into the Sheriff's office
Agent Duff: I just got a call that you att*cked Sorenson again. What is it, woodshop got you frustrated?
Valenti: I want you to put Grant Sorenson under surveillance.
Agent Duff: Thanks for your suggestion, but maybe you're forgetting you're no longer sheriff.
Valenti: He's the one you're looking for. He's the kidnapper.
Agent Duff: Does this have anything to do with his $15 million lawsuit? This is the g*n that was used to f*re the b*ll*ts at you, Max and Isabel. Sorenson found it out at one of his digs and he brought it to me. Sheriff, if he is a kidnapper, why would he be trying to help me solve this case?
Valenti: All right... I went to Sorenson to try to settle our differences, okay? When I approached him, he didn't recognize me. It was like he'd never seen me before. Suddenly, he lunged at me, and one minute later, he's his old self again. Now, I don't know. Maybe... Maybe he's guilty and he's innocent.
Agent Duff: A split personality?
Valenti: Grant Sorenson may have turned in the r*fle, but I'm telling you... the person that jumped me earlier today is the one who fired it.
Agent Duff: Well, that's an interesting theory, sheriff, but the problem is, right now you appear to be the one with the split personality.
At the UFO Center...
Liz: It looks like they're... alien versions of negleria filarae. Waterborne parasites found in the blood cells of certain species of fish.
Max: Parasites? Well, that implies they need something to feed on... like an arm.
Liz: Maybe, but you said that they didn't affect you.
Max: No. I got the feeling I didn't taste good or something.
Liz: Then they didn't react when sheriff Valenti picked them up?
Max: No.
Liz: Sounds like they're not interested in terrestrial organisms.
Max: Well, except Laurie. They formed on her grave site.
Liz: So, maybe there's something unique about her, something the parasites are looking for. (thinking) Or there could be something unique about her grave site. It's in Frazier Woods, right?
Max: Right.
Liz dials the phone
Liz: Isabel. Hi. It's Liz. We need you to do something.
Grant approaches Isabel at the Crashdown.
Grant: I got your message. What's up?
Isabel: I wanted to talk to you.
Grant: I hope this isn't about my lawsuit again, 'cause that lunatic sheriff just att*cked me.
Isabel: No. It has nothing to do with that.
Grant: Then why are we here? I thought you told me it was over between us.
Isabel: Look, Grant... things just got so complicated, and I guess I just wish that we could go back to the beginning. As if we just met. (holds out her hand) Isabel Evans.
Grant: (shakes her hand) Grant Sorenson.
Isabel: What do you do, Mr. Sorenson?
Grant: Grant, please. I'm a geologist.
Isabel: A geologist. Fascinating.
Grant: Oh, I'm glad you think so.
Isabel: Well, I want to hear all about it.
Grant: What would you like to know?
Isabel: What are you working on right now?
Grant: I'm doing a survey out in Frazier Woods.
Isabel: Really? Tell me... What's so special about Frazier Woods?
Grant: Mm. Well...
Maria, Michael and Laurie pull up in front of the Dupree home -- a palatial estate with a security gate.
Maria: Wow. Grandpa's done pretty well for himself.
Michael: You okay?
Laurie: I'm nervous. I haven't seen my grandfather for so long.
Michael buzzes the intercom at the gate.
Intercom: Can I help you?
Michael: Yeah. We're here to see charles Dupree.
Intercom: Who are you?
Michael: I'm Michael, this is Maria, and this is Mr. Dupree's granddaughter, Laurie.
The gate opens. As the maid opens the door, she reacts visibly when she sees Michael.
Michael: (to the maid) Hi.
She lets them in without speaking. They walk in cautiosly and are approached by a gentleman coming down the hall.
Man: Laurie. Is it really you, Laurie?
He stops when he sees Michael, stunned.
Laurie: Where's grandpa?
Man: Oh, my God.
Woman: (coming down the stairs) Bobby, you do remember that we have that function later this afternoon, don't you? I mean, really, you can't be trotting around the polo grounds for the whole afternoon and expect me to do all-- (she sees the group) who are-- what is it?
Laurie: Aunt Mary, I want to see my grandfather right now.
Bobby: He's d*ad, Laurie-- he's been d*ad for seven years. You were at his funeral, for God sakes.
Scene fades out to commercial break. When we return, Bobby and Meredith are speaking quietly at the bar while the teens are taking in their surroundings.
Bobby: Spooky. I mean, it's just spooky.
Meredith: Oh. Typical is more like it. Daddy always did have that wandering eye. Looks like he just wandered off the marital reservation and left us all a little surprise, hmm? [louder, to the teens] Well, I love surprises.
[Sighs] Carmen! Would you draw a bath and get Miss Laurie's room ready? [to Laurie] Go on, Laurie. Why don't you go upstairs?
Laurie looks at Michael in confusion
Michael: It's okay. I'm not goin' anywhere.
Bobby and Meredith share a "raised-eyebrow" look.
Bobby: And, uh, what is it you want, Mr...
Michael: Guerin. Michael Guerin. Look. Your daughter's been--
MEREDITH Niece. She's our niece, Mr. Guerin.
Michael: Well. Your niece has been through a pretty traumatic experience.
Somebody kidnapped her. They buried her in the ground, and we think that he's still after her.
Meredith: Oh, well, that's quite a story.
Michael: Why don't Laurie's hospital records list you as the next of kin?
Bobby: What hospital?
Maria: The Pinecrest Psychiatric Institute. Brownfield, Texas. Where Laurie's been living for the past, I don't know, what... three... three years?
Bobby: Oh, well, we haven't seen our niece in years.
Meredith: Mm. So someone finally put her away, hmm? Did the aliens chase her there, too? You know, aliens are chasing our family, Mr. Guerin. Don't stay too long. They might get you, too.
Max, Isabel and Liz are walking into the UFO center.
Isabel: So he has about fifty experiments going on in Frazier Woods, all of which he explained to me in excruciating detail, but the common thread through each one is the water table.
Max: What about it?
Isabel: The woods are unusual because the water's so close to the surface. In some places, it's less than three feet below ground.
Liz: You know, if the parasites really are waterborne--and that's just a theory--they might be in the water table.
Max: Yeah, but how would alien parasites get in the water table in the first place?
Liz: [at the computer screen] Okay. Uh, this is a map of the water table for the entire county.
Max: It looks like a bunch of, uh, rivers.
Liz: Yeah, that's basically it. The water flows from one area to another through, uh, a system of underground rivers and streams... [Frazier Woods appear onscreen] Frazier Woods.
Isabel: So the stream passes right underneath the grave site.
Max: Let's see the rest of that stream.
Liz: Oh, my God.
Max: What?
Liz: Do you know what that is? That's Pohlman Ranch.
Isabel: The crash site.
Liz: Yeah. The stream passes right beneath it
Max: That means that the parasites might have been on our ship.
Liz: Somebody kidnaps a girl and buries her in the ground so a bunch of alien parasites can... I mean, can do what to her we don't know, and... and then how does he know about these parasites? Is he human, or is he alien? Are these things dangerous to normal people in roswell?
Isabel: Okay. Where do we go from here, Max?
Max: I have absolutely no idea.
Liz: We need help. I wish you guys could just phone home.
Isabel: [Sighs] Wouldn't that be nice?
Brody: [walks in on them] Max, could you-- oh. Hello.
Max: Sorry. We were just, uh, using some of the equipment for a--a science project. I hope you don't mind.
Brody: Oh, of course not. Uh, can you let me know when you're done?
Max: We won't be long.
Brody: Okay. [he leaves]
Isabel: [looking after Brody] Max, didn't you say that there was an alien at the summit that reached out with his mind and possessed Brody's body?
Max: Right.
Isabel: What if that connection goes both ways? What if we can send a signal back through Brody?
Agent Duff walks in on Valenti.
Agent Duff: That r*fle was reported stolen by a hunter in Newcastle, Wyoming, in July, and the oxygen t*nk used to keep the girl alive were stolen from a hospice in Fort Collins, Colorado, in August. And the plastic box around her head was taken from an industrial supply warehouse in Las Cruces in September.
Valenti: And?
Agent Duff: This is Grant Sorenson's work itinerary. He was in all those places at the times those items were reported stolen.
Valenti: Chalk up another one for the woodworking detective.
Agent Duff: Look, you seem to know more about this than anyone-- why, I'm not sure-- but I need to settle this case, and you want to be sheriff again. You help me close this one, and I will make it my business to get you your job back.
Valenti: I guess the bats can wait.
Michael and Maria are out at the pool.
Michael: I don't like it.
Maria: What, the tile?
Michael: No. The fact that we haven't seen Laurie in three hours.
Maria: [Sighs, then looks up and sees Bobby and some guards approaching] This can't be good.
Bobby: [handing a package to Michael] This is yours.
Michael: What's this?
Bobby: $50,000.
Maria: What?
Bobby: And that's all you're going to get. You may look like our father, but we'll fight any further paternity and inheritance claims every step of the way.
Michael: I'm not here to make an inheritance claim.
Maria: Wait. How big of an inheritance claim are you talking about here?
Bobby: [to the guards] Please escort Mr. Guerin and his friend off the property.
Michael: No. Wait. Wait a minute. What about Laurie?
Bobby: We'll take care of her now.
Michael: Hey. No. You don't understand. There are people after her.
Bobby: Oh, right. The aliens. Well, we'll keep on the lookout for 'em.
Michael: [as the guards lead him away] You can't do this!
The guards escort Michael and Maria to the gate.
Maria: Now what?
Michael: I don't know... But I promised Laurie I'd protect her, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
Back at the UFO center
Brody: I've been put under hypnosis before. It's never helped me remember anything about my experiences.
Isabel: This would be different. I have a gift. Um... I'm a little psychic.
Brody: [looks from Max to Liz in disbelief] Come on...
Liz: You believe in aliens, but you don't believe in psychic phenomena?
Brody: I was abducted by aliens. I know they exist.
Isabel: I know my gift exists.
Max: Aren't you at least curious?
Brody: Okay. So what do we do?
Isabel: Okay. Relax. Close your eyes and clear your mind. Give me your hand.
This won't hurt.
Brody: I just want to warn you, the last time I was put through this, I was a very difficult subject. I just don't want you to be too disappointed when--
Isabel touches his hand with both of hers and the result is instantaneous... they're both thrown across the room. Max runs up to Isabel, as Liz goes over to Brody.
Max: Isabel!
Isabel moans...
Brody: You shouldn't have done that.
Max: Brody?
Brody: Larek. This body has not been prepared for communication. Its heart has stopped.
Isabel: [as she gets up] Oh, God. Unh.
Brody: It may restart once I've released him. What is it you want?
Max: We need your help. We think that some form of a-- a parasite was released into our earth's ecosystem when our ship crashed fifty years ago. We think they're dangerous--
Brody: When you say parasite, do you mean the gandarium from your ship have escaped into the ecosystem?
Max: I don't know. It looks like blue crystals.
Brody: Earth is in serious trouble. You must leave now.
Max: What are you talking about?
Brody: Earth has become infected. You're no longer safe there. Get off the planet now.
Max: Okay. [Brody collapses] Wait, wait, wait.
Isabel: Oh, God!
Max starts to heal Brody, but Isabel stops him with a warning look.
Isabel: No, Max.
Max switches to CPR instead. Brody comes to, gasping for air.
Brody: What happened?
Max: You fainted.
Isabel: I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I'm so sorry.
Max: You sure you're all right?
Brody: I think so.
Scene fades out as they help Brody to his feet. The words "TO BE CONTINUED" appear onscreen. | {"type": "series", "show": "Roswell", "episode": "02x13 - Disturbing Behavior"} | foreverdreaming |
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